11:57
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 2
SIXTEEN years ago, a few days before my twenty-fourth
birthday, I found myself, on New Year s Eve, trudging
through eight inches of snow with my brother on my left side
and his girlfriend on my right. With each shivery step there
was the ill-desired promise of overcrowded bars, all packed
tight with inebriated tourists. My brother had promised me
one of the five stops would be a gay bar in Reno, Nevada,
this meant rubbing shoulders with leather daddies and drag
queens shipped north from Las Vegas and that we would be
throwing our twenties down at the blackjack tables after
we d consumed at least seven amber ales. Since I only had
six dollars and two nickels in my wallet, I figured I d let my
brother do most of the buying.
I rested my freezing, chapped hands inside my jacket
pockets as we made our way down an empty side street
toward the first bar of the evening. I d told my brother I
would have what he was having, that I didn t have much of
an opinion on the matter. I wasn t in the best of spirits. This
would mark my third year in a row without a New Year s
kiss, my third year without a boyfriend. And this year I had
zero chance of finding a guy, because unlike Los Angeles
where I d lived for the past eight years and where a thousand
young twinks swarm the city like a large gang of man-hungry
zombies the only cute young gays in Reno were either still
in the closet or wearing enough perfume to be considered a
girl with a jockstrap. I nursed my mediocre beer, way too tart
for my taste, and nonchalantly spilled most of it in a
trashcan before heading back out into the piercing cold.
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 3
The gay bar, inexplicably named The Saloon but
nicknamed Bright Star by the Reno gays, marked the fourth
stop on our invisible checklist. My brother Dustin appeared
more excited to step inside than I did, as if he assumed the
place would answer all fifty of his questions about my
lifestyle and my daily NC-17-rated practices. His girlfriend,
Kami, held my hand for a moment as we made our way
inside, clearly terrified that she was going to be swallowed
whole by a couple of overweight lesbians.
The darkly lit, miniscule bar had a crowd of at least a
hundred people, with barely any room to maneuver and too
loud an oldies soundtrack to make conversation
manageable. While Dustin ordered me a gin and tonic and
Kami constantly darted her head back and forth as if she
had exploding electrical wires implanted in her head, I
decided to fake that I was heading to the bathroom and
scoped out the best homosexual talent Reno had to offer. A
lot of the noticeably hungry players were older bears, all on
the lookout for their sweet, virginal cubs. Some appeared too
old to be out past eight on a Friday night, and others, the
more promising ones that looked under forty and cute
enough to share a casual smooch with, seemed to be taken. I
wasn t looking for a date. I just wanted someone to hold
hands with in those seconds before midnight, someone who
looked less hideous than Frankenstein s monster and had a
set of teeth that wouldn t mortify the strangers around me.
After thirty minutes of nontalking and nondancing, we
departed the gay bar, Dustin and Kami holding hands, my
hands becoming intimate only with the full glass of gin and
tonic tucked away in my warm leather jacket.
 What time is it, Kami? I asked, noticing that she was
holding onto my brother with her left hand and texting one
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 4
of her friends on her iPhone with her right. She didn t
answer me with all the commotion on the sidewalk, I
could ve shouted that there was wet fecal matter running
down her dress and she would ve answered me with an
apathetic yawn but I managed with one quick step and a
bend of my torso to see on her phone that it was a few
minutes past eleven. I had never gambled with my brother
before, so I was looking forward to some terrific nonsense.
Plus, spending (Dustin s) cash like crazy on the blackjack
tables would be a reason to escape the frigid temperature.
But according to Kami, there was one more bar stop on
our little adventure, a place so crowded with patrons that to
walk from one end to the other would have been a feat akin
to performing a death-defying high-wire act. As soon as I
passed the portly bouncer, as well as a large sign that
strictly forbade outside alcohol from entering the premises, I
pulled the tall glass of gin and tonic out of my jacket and
barely avoided spilling more than half of it over a group of
young, giggling Asian girls.
Dustin and Kami ordered some more drinks I told
them I was good for the next three months with my extra-
large hangover in a cup and we continued to mosey on
through the massive crowd. With patience and
determination, the three of us made it to the back of the bar,
the room extending into a large seating area where there was
actually room to breathe.
 I m gonna use the bathroom, Kami said.  Can you hold
my drink?
Instead of handing her Peachtree Martini to her lover
boy, she dropped the drink in my hands. While she strutted
into the ladies room, I enjoyed a couple of tastes of her girly
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 5
drink, a strong mix of flavors that included vodka, peaches,
and orange juice.
But then I almost choked.
I turned to my left to see him.
Landon stood in the midst of a group of twenty-
somethings, maybe eight in all, a Corona in his right hand
and a cigarette in his left. While his friends were laughing
and talking over each other, he seemed to be lost in his own
little world, tapping his feet against the sticky hardwood
floor, watching the local New Year s coverage on the large
television set with cool disinterest. He was six foot two, 170
pounds, with short brown hair and a pair of smoldering
watery-blue eyes. He was dressed like a hot nerd doofy yet
somehow unattainable with a blue-and-purple checkered
long-sleeved collared shirt, a black tie, and a large pair of
dark-framed glasses resting atop his adorably pointy nose.
When he turned to one of his friends and finally smiled,
revealing a tantalizing set of pearly whites, my heartbeat
accelerated and my nerves started performing uncontrollable
jumping jacks. I noticed a few seconds later that my jaw had
noticeably dropped down, a small speck of drool forming on
my bottom lip.
 You okay? my brother asked.
Kami returned from the bathroom and pulled the drink
out of my hand. She tousled her hair before taking a sip.
 What s up? What s going on?
I had turned my attention to the loving couple in front of
me only for a second or two when I felt a shoulder rub
against mine. I turned to my left to see Landon make his way
to the men s room. Again, I caught my jaw losing control of
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 6
itself, but I closed it back up before any of my spit could go
further than the edge of my tongue.
 It s nothing, I said.  I just recognize someone.
 Oh really? Kami asked.  Friend of yours?
 Well, no, actually I ve never met him.
Dustin crossed his arms and seemed to ponder this
quandary as if he had a physics test to study for. Kami
seemed to understand the predicament.
 Him? Is this a guy we re talking about, Ryan?
 Yes.
 A cute guy?
I tried not to blush.  Very.
 Let me guess, she said with a smile and a stroke of my
brother s right arm.  You guys have chatted online?
I nodded but didn t answer, because I saw Landon exit
the bathroom at that instant and start to walk back over
toward his friends which, lucky for me, meant he had to
brush by my shoulder a second time. I didn t think I was
going to say anything. But in his short march from the little
hallway to my prominent left shoulder, I decided to go for it.
 Landon?
He turned to me right away, and before I could follow up
my first word with another, he smiled at me with that huge,
infectious grin and wrapped his arms around me like I was a
big brother he had been searching for all his life.
 Hi, Happy New Year s, he said impersonally, and I
wondered if he recognized me.
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 7
 Hi, I said, my brother and his girlfriend looking on
with anticipation.  It s me, Ryan. We ve chatted online. I m
from LA. I work in 
 Ryan! Landon shouted.  You re the casting guy, right?
 That s right! He remembered.
He hugged me again, and then I decided to hug him
back, taking this opportunity to feel the muscles on his
shoulders and his tight little six-pack.
 Landon, I said, brushing my hand against his,  this is
my brother Dustin and his girlfriend, Kami.
We all exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes, and I
kept waiting for Landon to ditch me and go back to his group
of friends, who were still talkative and rowdy at the back of
the bar. But he stayed, and he asked questions about me,
and he never stopped smiling, as if his little train stop at my
station was his best surprise of the night. I wasn t sure if he
held any attraction toward me, but it felt special to be in the
company of a young man, only one year younger than I, who
was both supremely attractive and hilariously charming, the
kind of sexy beast a more introverted and less queeny gay
like myself could actually talk to.
At the point when I was scratching my brain for
something to talk about, a friend of Landon s, a pudgy,
blond-haired simpleton who looked like he had never
received a proper lesson on how to shave, grabbed him by
the shoulders and pushed him forward, telling him that the
group was moving on to one of the casinos downtown. Before
I could utter another word, Landon was starting to move
away from me.
 Well, it was nice to finally  he started.
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 8
 Yeah, for sure! I butted in.  Can I get your number?
It had been at least a year or more since I d had an
opportunity to ask another gay for his phone number. While
my dating life had been plentiful in my college years, I had
found myself hibernating in my creative work for the last few
months. He hesitated for a moment, like he wasn t sure if he
wanted to present such personal information. But he took a
step toward me and told me the number anyway.
 Text me! he shouted as he maneuvered around my
brother and made his way out of the bar. I could see him
lighting up another cigarette as he stepped out into the chilly
nighttime air.
 Ryan! Kami shouted, slugging me on the shoulder
much harder than she needed to.  He was cute!
 You re telling me.
 And he was totally into you!
I shook my head. No he wasn t, I thought. Of course he
wasn t. No guys are into me. Especially any who look like
that.
 He gave you his number! Kami continued.  You should
text him!
I finished inputting his information into my iPhone.  He
might ve given me a false number. How sad will that be, if I
text him or call him and it s not even him!
 Well, I think this is great, she said.  You two look so
good together!
Kami turned around and made her way to the bathroom
again, even though she had just peed ten minutes prior. My
brother shrugged his shoulders regarding my run-in with the
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 9
young man; being a straight jock type, albeit having no
qualms about my sexual preferences, Dustin really had
nothing to say in the matter.
 How s your drink? he asked.
I had forgotten I was still holding it.  Let s get out of
here, I said.  I want to gamble a little bit before midnight.
 Good idea.
We stepped back out into the furious cold around eleven
thirty. The roads were starting to declutter, and the
sidewalks were surprisingly barren, as if a fierce, blusterous
wind had rolled into town, blowing all the tourists as far as
Lake Tahoe. But it only took a minute to realize that
everyone had migrated to downtown Virginia Street, four
blocks up, where at midnight fireworks were to be shot up
into the sky for an exuberant fifteen-minute action-packed
show. The three of us walked side by side for the next few
minutes, passing over so many stretches of black ice that I
was astonished to arrive at Virginia Street with all three of
us intact, still standing tall, without a single party-crushing
blow to the head in sight.
 You should text him, Kami said.
 Yeah? What would I say?
 Just tell him it was nice to finally meet. It ll make him
smile.
We entered the Silver Mine Casino, which was adjacent
to Reno s famous  Biggest Little City in the World sign and
the designated arch from which the fireworks were going to
be shot. Since it was already 11:35, we decided to abandon
the blackjack and instead grab a quick drink before making
our way outside for the fireworks.
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 10
I wanted to text Landon, but I had no idea what to text
him. When Dustin handed me yet another dark amber ale,
the idea popped into my head.  I know what I m gonna say.
 You do? Kami asked.
Again, Dustin had no interest or comment.
I couldn t stop thinking about Landon for our entire
walk to Virginia Street. It had only been a few minutes, but I
already missed his sultry eyes, his adorable smile, his
velvety skin, his striking, lofty cheekbones. I wanted to see
him again. I wanted to see him again tonight.
I started inputting a text on my phone and decided not
to think too hard about the words I was punching in, fearing
I would psych myself out and cancel the text. I sent it before
I could stop myself.
Kami noticed me grinning, and she pushed past my
brother to grab hold of my jacket.  What did you say to
him?
 I said& . I didn t finish the sentence. I liked teasing
Kami.
 Tell me! Right now!
She kept a strong grip on my jacket that suggested I
would have to reveal my secrets to her, no matter how much
I wanted to keep them only for me. Even though she was a
foot shorter than I was, she was wearing the man s pants
tonight.
 I told him that we were going to be under the arch at
midnight, and that he should come find me.
Kami didn t respond so much as let out a loud wail that
stunned even the loudest of celebrators in the adjacent
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 11
casino area.  This is so exciting! she shouted, finally letting
go of my jacket.  Oh my God, it s so romantic!
 Yeah, well, for all I know he could be on his way back
to Carson City.
She flicked me on my forehead.  Doofus! It s time to
think positive! It s New Year s, for God s sakes. It s time to
give thanks.
I did a double take.  Don t you mean it s a time for new
beginnings?
 Yeah, that s what I said.
She wrapped her arms around Dustin, who by this point
was probably more than a little aggravated that he hadn t
had a chance to gamble any of his money away yet. I glanced
down at my phone to see that Landon hadn t texted me back.
It was 11:38.
At 11:45 I looked at my phone again. There was still no
text from him. By now we were making our way through a
depressing, surprisingly crowded area filled with tacky but
colorful nickel slots.
 Anything? Kami asked.
I didn t even have the heart to voice my response. I just
shook my head, knowing full well that he wasn t going to text
me back. It had been almost ten minutes. That was like
twenty years in texting. He had given me his phone number,
and he knew through our pretty-obvious flirtations that I
was into him. He knew I was going to text him. He knew I
knew he was going to have his phone on him. And yet he
wasn t texting me back. That was the surest sign of all.
Not. Interested.
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 12
I sighed and checked my phone again. 11:48. Still
nothing.
 We should go outside now if we want to get a spot
under the arch, my brother said.
I nodded and followed the two of them, watching as
Kami rested her head against Dustin s right shoulder.
We made our way along a winding outdoor corridor, and
I tried my best to stop constantly glancing at my cell phone.
By the time we made it to Virginia Street, which was closed
to cars between the intersections of 2nd and 6th Streets, the
entire area had become an infestation of pedestrians
hundreds of people standing around, mumbling, no specific
words seeming to escape anyone s chattering mouths. It was
so loud I couldn t hear myself think, so I focused on
following Kami and Dustin to the right side of the arch,
where there was a modicum of room to cozy up with
overexcited strangers.
The sign itself right above my head, pulsating with
bright yellow lights as if it was meant to be a precursor to
the upcoming fireworks display appeared to have been fixed
just in time for the New Year s festivities. On a recent trip to
Reno last Halloween, I had headed downtown for a night out
with two high school friends only to discover the famous sign
suffering from a bad case of cancer.  The Biggest Little City
in the World had been reduced to  The Biggest Little City
World, which I thought could make a great title for a Ray
Bradbury short story, and the  O in  Reno had faded,
making the big letters stand for one of the main characters
of an animated Nickelodeon TV staple. But tonight the sign
had strength in every inch of its foundation, gleaming its
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 13
lights against all the spectators waiting in the benumbing
temperature for a free sky spectacular.
 Did he ever text you back? Kami asked.
I shook my head.  No, I don t 
Then I felt it against my leg that wonderful, pulsating
vibration. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and held my
breath as I clicked open the main screen.
The vibration hadn t alerted me to a missed text from
Landon.
It had alerted me to a missed call.
 Oh my God! I shouted, loud enough to spook a family
of four standing right behind me.
 What is it? Kami asked, diverting her attention away
from Dustin for a moment.
 He called me! I don t believe it!
 Ryan! Oh my God! Call him back! What time is it?
I checked. Sweet Jesus.  11:53! Oh, holy crap!
 Call him! Kami screamed.  Call him right now!
 I am!
I was so embarrassingly excited that it took me three
tries to successfully dial his number, trying my best not to
drop the slippery phone on the icy cement. Finally I heard
ringing, and I smiled nervously at Kami as I awaited
Landon s response.
On the fourth ring, Landon picked up his phone, but I
could barely hear him. He proceeded to talk for the next few
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 14
seconds, but the only words I could decipher were  hey and
 street.
 Landon! Landon! Are you there! I can t hear you!
All I could hear was chaotic screaming through the
phone, like a dozen homeless men and women were trying to
claw it away from the poor boy.
 Landon! I ll try you again!
I hung up and quickly dialed his number again, but this
time four rings became six, and the call went straight to
voice mail.
 What did he say? Kami asked, her breath masking her
face for a second, to the point where Dustin looked like he
had his arms wrapped around a headless blow-up doll.
 I couldn t hear him, I said before dialing his number a
third time. Again, it went to voice mail.  Crap! What do I do?
I don t want to look desperate!
 What time is it? Kami asked.
I could hear the rumbling in the large crowd becoming
louder by the second, everyone anticipating that magical
minute when time stands still, friends and lovers embrace,
and chapped lips meet chapped lips to form wet, salty drool.
My phone didn t light up for a moment, and I feared it
had gone dead. When the light finally came back, I breathed
a sigh of relief only to see that I had a missed call from
Landon.
 Shit!
 What time is it? Kami repeated, louder this time.
I checked.  11:56!
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 15
 Just text him! she shouted.  Text him where you are!
Good idea.  Okay. Here goes!
 Did you do it? Kami had her arms wrapped around
Dustin, who was watching our back-and-forth shouting
match with varying amounts of interest.
I texted Landon my location and stashed my phone into
my right jeans pocket.
 Now, I said, smiling at Kami and standing up high on
my tippy-toes,  we pray!
 He has to find you! Kami shouted.  He has to! He just
has to, Ryan! My God!
I crossed my arms, shivered big-time, and scanned the
tops of a thousand heads in hopes of spotting the tall,
brunet beauty.
I checked my phone. 11:58.
 Do you see him? Kami shouted.
I didn t. I surveyed the line of people hovering near the
casino, as well as the stragglers dancing on the sidewalk. I
turned around in hopes that he would be coming at me from
behind, but he wasn t among that crowd, either.
11:59.
 It s time! my brother shouted. I glanced at Kami to see
the world s most depressing frown plastered on her typically
glowing face.
But then.&
 Ryan!
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 16
The shout came from the left of me. My heart leapt into
my throat as I jumped back up on my tippy-toes and
scanned the left side of Virginia Street. Landon was walking
toward me, maneuvering through the raucous crowd,
revealing that smile of his that made my frozen body
completely melt from head to toe.
Thirty seconds or more might have passed before we
were face to face, but it felt like no more than two. One
second he was across the way, a tiny, bobbing head in the
distance. And the next, he was standing right in front of me,
holding my hands in his, tilting his forehead against mine
and giggling like a naughty schoolboy who had skipped class
to make out with his most desirable crush.
 You made it, I said.
 Ten! Nine! Eight! People were screaming at the top of
their lungs.
 Oh my God! Kami shouted, noticing for the first time
that pretty-boy Landon had arrived just in time. She jumped
up into the air twice before wrapping her arms around my
brother and averting her eyes, finally, away from me.
Landon wouldn t stop smiling as he held me tight,
staring at me with exuberant glee, as if we were celebrating
five amazing years together. He bowed his head down before
moving in closer toward my lips.
 Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!
I felt his warm, inviting breath graze my left cheek, and
the clamor of boisterous cheers faded away from all my
senses. I closed my eyes and found his lips, wet and
wanting, open just enough to let me in. The kiss lasted only
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 17
a second or two, but it felt like a golden eternity, a moment
in time forever etched in my memory.
When our lips parted, we were both brought back to the
present by the deafening clash of fireworks above us. We
smiled at each other again, recognizing the luck,
randomness, and cosmic beauty of this perfect moment,
before diverting our attention to the rainbow of heavenly
colors above.
Landon and I stayed together for three more hours that
night, keeping each other warm while we traveled by foot to
the gay bar. We each shared a criminally sweet mojito before
dancing the early morning away, until at 3 a.m. he had to
leave to catch his ride back to Carson City. He departed with
a hug and one more brief but intimate kiss.
I DIDN T see Landon for a long time after that night, but I
randomly bumped into him four years later in Reno again,
this time at a coffee shop, just one day before I was
departing for a summer vacation in Maui. I recognized him
right away I m not sure if he recognized me, but that s
okay and we exchanged phone numbers. Now that I was
finally back working and living in Reno, I made it my mission
to secure a date with the adorable twenty-seven-year-old as
soon as I returned to the mainland.
Six years later, we were engaged it took Nevada far too
long to recognize gay marriage and in 2021, Landon and I
were wed at a simple but dazzling ceremony up on top of the
mountains of northern Reno, on the eighteenth green of the
Golden Valley Golf Course. Our family and friends were
11:57 " Brian Rowe " 18
present, and Dustin, who had just had his third child with
beaming mother Kami, was my best man.
For a long time I thought that the magical New Year s
Eve of 2010 was going to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime
experiences that could never be replicated or outdone, but
something even more magical took place only yesterday, on
the morning of April 28, 2026. Landon and I were nervous
wrecks, not because we had both recently turned forty and
found our hairlines starting to recede, but because a special
little gift was about to change our lives forever. There were
no exploding fireworks above us or friends and family
members cheering us on. It was just the two of us, standing
together, my left arm wrapped around Landon s back as we
both tried not to cry.
And then it happened.
Little baby Lola happened.
Three minutes before noon.
Get the whole package at
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com
About the Author
BRIAN ROWE is a 26-year-old gay writer and filmmaker
living in Reno, Nevada. He graduated from Loyola
Marymount University in Los Angeles, where he studied
English & Film. His short fiction has appeared in over a
dozen magazines, and he has written three novels. He enjoys
movies, cooking, travel, and New Year's Eve miracles.
More Daily Dose and Advent Calendar packages
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Copyright
11:57 ©Copyright Brian Rowe, 2011
Published by
Dreamspinner Press
4760 Preston Road
Suite 244-149
Frisco, TX 75034
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the
authors imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Cover Art by Catt Ford
This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is
illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon
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part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the Publisher. To
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Released in the United States of America
June 2011
eBook Edition
eBook ISBN: 978-1-61372-015-8