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article_id 68
author Jeff Diehl
article_date September 20, 1999
section_name Scope
headline You Can Be A 'Speed Seducer'
subhead How to hypnotize women and feel like a winner!
article_body That's right, you too can hypnotize hot babes and lure them
to your lair where they will service your every sexual
desire. Just follow the instructions of self-titled "Chairman
of the Broads," Ross Jeffries, founder of the method known
as Speed Seduction, and you'll have women obeying your
every command. Disclaimer: Speed Seduction and Ross
Jeffries are not liable for impotence or sexual rejection.
Sans disclaimer, that's the gist of the marketing hype
offered by Mr. Jeffries, and it's a brilliant idea:
Neuro-linguistic programming applied to the problem of
getting laid. Be cocky, irreverent, funny, and a little profane
(but safely unattractive), and you've got a recipe for
success.
We here at GettingIt had to find out the murky details of a
personality and business that thrive on the sexual insecurity
of other guys. In fact, Jeffries has been so successful that he
confidently invited us to send two reporters, a male and a
female, to his latest seminar at the Hyatt Inn in Palo Alto,
Calif. (an $1,800 value!), for free. We accepted.
First Sightings
GettingIt
editor Cara Bruce and I hit the hotel restaurant for
breakfast, and instantly spotted the Don Juan Doofus
himself, leaving as we were going in. He walked past us
without a clue as to who we were, naturally (the only reason
we knew what he looked like is that we'd watched some of
his home video courses).
Once inside the restaurant, we noticed that Jeffries' sidekick
and personal hypnotist, "Major" Mark Cunningham, was
eating at the table next to ours. On tape, we'd watched him
mesmerize a room full of aspiring "seducers" as he pumped
suggestions (all in a deep, resonant voice) into their heads
about breaking away from self-doubt, and generating
positive thoughts in its place -- thoughts marinated in the
charged metaphors of lust and sexual conquest.
Perhaps his hypnotic powers were what suddenly gathered a
group of energetic young males around his breakfast table,
bobbing and strutting, shaking his hand in admiration. The
men were visibly enthralled to be in the presence of Major
Mark, a balding, moustached, pudgy, middle-aged,
Droopy-the-Dog sort of guy. And he worked the small
crowd well.
The guys managed to pull themselves away, migrating to
the empty table on the other side of us, and began talking
amongst themselves. We eavesdropped enthusiastically.
All talk about the subtleties of personal psychology quickly
turned into a session of tasteless joke trading. Here's a
sample: "I was talking to this bookish girl and I said, 'I can
see that you're very well-read, perhaps Twain and Dickens.
I can't see a Twain side of you, but I definitely see a
Dickens side of you.'" Inappropriately loud laughter
followed.
Actually, I shouldn't call them jokes, because such stories
make up a class of lines that Speed Seducers use to covertly
implant suggestive messages into the victims' minds.
Another legendary example is to use the phrase "below me"
(pronouncing it "blow me") in as many sentences as you
can. Brilliant stuff.
We paid our bill and made our way to the conference room
where the seminar was beginning.
Our interaction with Ross Jeffries didn't start off well.
Perhaps it was because we came into the room 15 minutes
late and couldn't find two open seats next to each other (we
both felt a vague sense of danger in being separated). We
spotted a couple of chairs near the front and made our way.
Suddenly, from nowhere and everywhere, the voice of Ross
Jeffries boomed over our heads:
"GettingIt dot com sits in the back of the room. You're
second-class citizens."
Warming 'Em Up
Major Mark's introduction seemed a bit funnier in person
than it had on the videotapes. It was a bold and polished
performance wherein he promised -- between crude sex
jokes involving squirrels and acorns -- that this course was
going to teach the students to "mold their own realities,"
where they were in command of every beautiful woman
they cared to approach. Important stuff, since -- according
to the Speed Seduction philosophy -- language, cultural
prejudices, and gender roles work to the advantage of
women.
One thing he mentioned really got my attention: He'd
recently married -- unusual for anyone aspiring to Speed
Seducer status, as he acknowledged. Come on, how can you
practice your skills on new women when you've got a wife
at home waiting for you? Now, it's not "blow" Speed
Seducers to hit on married women, but it makes absolutely
no marketing sense whatsoever to appeal to married men.
Furthermore, talk of marriage and long-term relationships
just didn't jibe with the spritely, hormonally-charged buzz
coming off the attendees. Could it be that the so-called
Masters of Seduction were actually softies looking for
acceptance like the rest of us? If so, maybe everyone should
have been reading a John Gray book instead of listening to
these guys.
After all, it's not easy to attend a Speed Seduction seminar.
Cara and I were spared because we were from the media,
but the others had to subject themselves to group rituals
involving deep humiliation.
The One, the Only...
As he took the mic from Major Mark, Ross Jeffries'
self-confident swagger defied his tall, skinny,
blemished-skin, liver-lipped, beady-eyed appearance. He
rattled off well-constructed scenarios and theories, often
loudly asking "Does that make sense?" He would become
bitchy if he didn't get an enthusiastic "Yes!" in unison from
the whole room. And, at the same time, he encouraged
questions. "I'm not an authoritarian," he'd say. "Tell the
truth about whether you understand or not, and we'll work it
out until you do."
As if it were an afterthought, Jeffries announced they were
going to engage in a little ritual. He had the students move
the tables to the edges of the room so that everyone could
sit in the center on the floor, conveniently "blow" him. It
was the beginning of the "Obey Me" show (a staple among
hypnotists), and the unwitting guest of honor was going to
be a tall guy with an acne-scarred face and a big tiger on
the front of his T-shirt.
Jeffries selected seven guys from the group, had them line
up, and led them through a series of physical-mental
exercises. They were supposed to "visualize" centers of
energy and glowing orbs, a sort of Tai Chi for pick-up
artists. They were to generate, through sheer will power, a
mystical talisman they could wear to give them Seduction
power. Arms rose slowly, bodies turned on command. Most
of the men seemed pretty OK with it, but one of them
wasn't; he rolled his eyes and was visibly uncomfortable.
After one iteration of the exercise, Jeffries told them all to
sit down, "except for you, Tiger Boy -- you stay there." He
beckoned Tiger Boy to sit on a stool beside him, and said
reassuringly, "You're here under my influence and my
protection, so don't be scared. I won't hurt you."
He asked Tiger Boy if he'd been criticized a lot as a child
-- told that he didn't do things the right way. Tiger Boy
said yes. Jeffries got him to introspect just deep enough to
touch his insecurities, which of course were already close to
the surface (what would you expect from someone who's
paid $895 to have another man tell him how to talk to
women?). Tiger Boy seemed to move into a state of mild
inner pain. At the same time, he was clearly awed that
Jeffries was tapping into his state so accurately.
Jeffries said he wanted Tiger Boy to forget all about those
mean adults; they were in the past. He wanted him to
deliberately replace those negative self-perceptions with
powerful new ones, and led him through the horny Tai Chi
exercise a couple more times, giving Tiger Boy positive
feedback whenever he held his chin up high or nodded his
head in acknowledgment of some new feeling.
"Now. Do you feel differently?"
"Yeah."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Try to feel shy at the thought of meeting a woman. Can
you do it?"
"Nope."
"All right then, good work."
He had Tiger Boy sit down, and the room applauded.
The enthusiasm seemed odd to me. Just imagining that I
might have to go through that made me very uneasy. But,
consider: By Jeffries' own estimate the percentage of men
present who'd attended at least one of his seminars before
was 30 percent. And that didn't include those who'd
purchased his home study course. I began to see these
"rituals" as a hazing process, a group solidarity exercise
meant to align student sentiment regarding themselves,
women, Speed Seduction, and most importantly, about Ross
Jeffries himself.
Deconstructing the Sage of Seduction
And now is where I speculate wildly on what might
motivate someone like Ross Jeffries to dedicate his whole
life to "teaching" Speed Seduction, beyond the money and
the sycophantic worship of his students.
Theory Number One: Ross Jeffries is gay.
I don't mean closeted or repressed, I mean flamingly,
rabidly gay. The whole Speed Seduction thing is a riff on
straight guys who feel bad about themselves for not
knowing how to "play the game." What better revenge than
to trigger their deepest inadequacies and bilk each of them
for thousands of dollars at the same time? Beautiful! Sure,
Ross acts pretty straight most of the time, but he does one
routine where he demonstrates acting gay as a technique for
hitting on a certain type of stuck-up woman ... and he's
more than convincing. He's also attracted to buff women.
Hmmm.
Theory Number Two: Ross Jeffries is a closet comedian.
It's widely known that Jeffries is a failed comedy writer. He
obviously gets a charge out of telling his tasteless jokes
(jokes that wouldn't get a laugh, or even make any sense, if
not for the Speed Seduction context). It's a way for him to
feel as funny as he wants to be, and get paid handsomely by
a very small crowd. And if he can't make them laugh, he
can always humiliate them!
Comedians usually end up alienating their audience when
they do that, but not Jeffries. Like an abusive boyfriend, he
turns it into a way to win them over even more. His charm
has its limits, though. When others, such as Major Mark,
are speaking, Jeffries will often burst forth with comments
from the back of the room that are meant to show support.
But they're badly timed, or overly enthusiastic, and he
comes across as a dork.
It would be a mistake to call Jeffries a fraud. He does
provide a set of tools for shy men that allows them to
approach women they don't know, with some amount of
confidence and presence. And that's enough to greatly
increase the chances of impressing a woman. It's certainly
more successful than a nervous approach.
On the other hand, approaching women, talking to women,
even getting their phone numbers, is not the same thing as
having sex with them. And how would Jeffries or any of the
teachers or students of Speed Seduction be expected to
prove that they got laid as often as they claim? Obviously,
nobody's going to whip out the bloody bed linen here, but
Ross, pointing to someone in the room and asking for
verification isn't even close to proof.
Like nerds who finally got accepted into a fraternity, these
guys -- teachers and students alike -- can bask in the glow
of reported conquest, throwing out lines and tossing off
jokes which demonstrate a great command of the Speed
Seduction vocabulary, as well as a certain poise and charm
when in a room full of emasculated romantic losers. But
until I see the camcorder footage of Seducers humping lots
of "HBs" (hot babes), I'll assume that the emotional charge
of feeling superior to the rest of the male population, and
dominant over the female, is enough incentive to maintain a
shared and complex facade.
I wouldn't put it "blow" them.
See Also: The Sage of Seduction
Jeff Diehl is a very slow seducer.
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