Fast Food Copywriting
A Special Report by Robert Plank
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Explain the Problem and Provide a Solution............................................................. 3
Chapter 2: Follow a Formula ...................................................................................................... 4
Chapter 3: My Personal Formula for Copywriting ..................................................................... 5
Chapter 4: The Anatomy of Outsourcing .................................................................................... 6
Chapter 5: Split Testing............................................................................................................... 7
Chapter 6: Build a Swipe File ..................................................................................................... 8
Chapter 7: Jumpstart Strategies ................................................................................................... 9
Chapter 8: Tackling Writer's Block Head-On ........................................................................... 10
Method #1: Blogging ............................................................................................................ 10
Method #2: Why and How.................................................................................................... 10
Method #3: Interview............................................................................................................ 10
Chapter 9: How Do You Write That Killer Headline?.............................................................. 11
Chapter 10: The Death of Video and Other Gimmicks............................................................. 12
Chapter 11: Write the Damn Thing! ......................................................................................... 13
Chapter 12: Create An Upsell ................................................................................................... 14
Chapter 13: Add An Affiliate Program ..................................................................................... 15
What's Next? ............................................................................................................................. 16
Chapter 1: Explain the Problem and Provide a Solution
I was just finishing up the sales copy for Blackhat PHP, and I thought about an internet
marketing luncheon I attended in August where someone asked my friend, Steven
Schwartzman, a copywriter, some tips on how to write copy.
I mentioned the trick about rewriting sales letters you like in your own handwriting, in an
attempt to get the conversation started.
The conversation didn t really go anywhere& but since then, I ve kind of had a  stairway
conversation in my head about how to write copy.
An example of a stairway conversation is where you have a huge (verbal) fight with someone
and walk away angry, but as soon as you walk up the stairway you think   Darn, I just thought
of the PERFECT thing I could have said, back there!
That s how your brain works. If you try to write as many words beginning with the letter  C
on a piece of paper for 10 minutes& then tomorrow, you ll still be thinking of  C words.
You keep thinking on overtime, turning thoughts into even better thoughts, even if you don t
want it to.
You might get an idea for an article or a product or a service or a membership site, then write it
down or forget about it. Days or weeks later, that idea will come back to you on steroids.
That s what happened to me. For the past several months I ve dismissed that conversation as
some random happening in my life, but suddenly I realized that it was a real problem&
someone wanted to know how to write their own copy and no one could explain it to them, not
even a successful copywriter like Steven!
In 2007, I launched 20 products and wrote sales letters for all of them. 20 products! I launched
more products that year than I had in all my previous years of internet marketing combined.
That's $64,000 in addition to my regular day job income. What would you do with an extra
$5,000 per month that went DIRECTLY into your savings account?
My fast food copywriting strategy made it all possible.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 3
Chapter 2: Follow a Formula
I am by no means even a good copywriter. I mostly write my own copy and I consider myself to
be a  fast food copywriter.
A chef who works at a high-class restaurant is an artist and doesn t really follow a formula; he
uses some inner skill that can t be explained.
A minimum-wage worker at McDonald s is doing a job a trained monkey can do, mindlessly
following simple instructions to produce mediocre food. But he can consistently pump out
mediocre food.
I m a fast-food copywriter. I don t have much skill, just a simple formula plus a little bit of
practice.
Why should you go to the trouble of writing your own copy? Because if you are the one who
made your product, then you're the one who understands your product the best!
For a writer to produce good copy, he needs to understand your product inside and out. If he
doesn't, it's going to show in the copy.
I also hate waiting. I listened to an audio CD once where Mark Joyner said no one in his office
is allowed to use the word "wait"  including Mark himself. You shouldn't be waiting on
anything. Waiting means you are sitting around doing nothing.
I don't like "waiting" for a copywriter. Some of them can take weeks. Once, I paid for a "24
hour" sales letter. The response from the copywriter: "There are 10 people in line in front of
you. That means it will be at least 10 days before I start on your sales copy." What?!
In ten days I might be bored with my current project. I want it to be launched and selling so I
can start working on something else.
I need to keep moving. A shark is always in motion& even during sleep. If a shark stops
moving, it sinks. Your business is no different.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 4
Chapter 3: My Personal Formula for Copywriting
Step #1: Split your product into pieces. benefits, it outperforms those without a
Usually you ve already done this& if you unified story.
have a video series you have separate
videos. If you have an e-book you have Step #6: Write a master headline, sub-
chapters. headline, and possibly a sub-sub-headline
for the entire sales letter. You might have to
Step #2: Write out a one-sentence write tons of headlines until you decide on
description for each piece. Now you have a the one you like best.
feature for each piece of your product.
Step #7: End it all with a quick summary of
Step #3: Rewrite each feature so it explains what s in the package (download size,
what it means to the buyer  what can they number of chapters, how long the videos
do with it? This is a benefit. are) and a clear call-to-action. What do you
want your visitor to do after they re done
A feature might be something like, reading? Click an order button? Fill out a
 Chapter 5: How to Toilet Train Your subscription form? Pick ONE thing you
Cat Using a Simple Plastic Device. want them to do, tell them how to do it, and
make it almost impossible for them NOT to
A benefit could be,  Save Hundreds of click.
Dollars In Cat Litter Over the Next Few
Years, and Eliminate 15 Minutes of The way the whole page is laid out is:
Chores Every Week& With A Simple
$4.99 Piece of Plastic!
·ð Headline and subheadline (like in a
newspaper article, they can be long
Step #4: Expand on benefits if you can. If
and they can be full sentences)
there s something more to say about that
·ð Their problem and your solution
chapter that can t be summed up in a quick
(your product)
headline, think of three bullet points (write
·ð Benefits (what s in it for them)
them in an  exciting headline-style as well)
·ð Features (what exactly is in the
and place them below the benefit.
package)
·ð Package summary (system
Step #5: Weave it all together with a story.
requirements, download size, etc.)
A story will keep people reading until the
·ð Call-to-action (what to do next)
end. (Why do you think the TV show
 Moonlighting starring Bruce Willis, was
That s how you write sales copy and that s
on the air for five whole seasons?)
how I try to write everything& including
forum and blog posts.
I don t do this 100% of the time but if I have
a sales letter that begins with the problem,
That s how I write sales copy. It s not great
introduces the solution, then goes into
but it is fast-food copywriting.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 5
Chapter 4: The Anatomy of Outsourcing
Graphics are not important at all. This has been tested by Ken Evoy. I would rather have
well-written copy and no graphics than great graphics and a crappy message.
If you have the money to spare to pay someone to make some quick minisite graphics for $100 to
$200, go for it. Otherwise just use a simple template that looks like the text is written on a page
on the screen.
I rarely outsource copywriting. Even though I can afford it, if I always outsourced my
copywriting it would eat into my profits, big time. Many copywriters charge over $1000 for a
simple 3 to 5 page letter, and some of the even bigger ones will charge you a percentage of all
future profits. Even if the copy sucks, you still have to keep paying them.
I do tend to outsource the headline every now and then. My friend Steven Schwartzman
writes headlines for $97. The headline is probably the hardest and most important part of your
copy.
The only way I know how to write a headline is to keep writing down lots of potential headlines
until I have at least 100 or 150, and then decide on one. This is very time consuming and is
usually worse than a regular copywriter might come up with. That's why I outsource the
headline.
When I was less experienced, I would try posting my URL to message boards to get a
copywriting critique. This was very helpful and it's how I came up with the copy for
PaySensor.com.
Don't post a fake "critique request" just to get web site hits, people will see right through that.
There are discussion boards devoted only to copywriting filled with people who are more than
happy to help you.
You can also pay copywriters about $97 to record a screen capture video narrated by them
where they look at your web site and talk for 30 to 60 minutes telling you what they would
change. These videos are invaluable.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 6
Chapter 5: Split Testing
Internet marketing expert Allen Says once said, "Testing is the only guru." If you have an idea,
split test it. There are several free split test scripts out there, just search Google for: "free split
test script."
If you think of a better headline than the one you currently use, split test the other
headline. The original headline will be shown to half of your visitors, and the new headline will
be shown to the other half.
The script counts which headline brought in each sale.
Once you see a significant different in sales between the two, you know which is the clear
winner. You might not understand why one headline performs better than the other, only
that it does.
Then, you can think of another headline to spilt test with the current winner. Or you can move
on and split test some other part of your copy.
If you split test only one thing at a time in this very careful and scientific way, your sales letter
will, over time, produce better results and bring in more sales.
Beware of the obsessive tester. Although it's possible, you don t need to use split testing to test
graphics or the layout of your page, just the content. I have heard of people testing the
background color of their page, that's just too much.
Also be careful about testing the price. You have a product for sale for $50. You get 1000
visitors per month and a 1% conversion rate, so your income from that site for the month is:
$50 * 1000 * 0.01 = $500
You try bumping the price down to $25. You get another 1000 visitors and a 1.5% conversion
rate:
$25 * 1000 * 0.015 = $375
By lowering the price, you just decided to throw $125 in the trash each and every month  even
though the conversion rate increased. If the price remains the same, you want to boost your
conversion rate, but if you are testing the price, you goal is the most profit.
Not the most number of sales or the highest conversion rate, but the most money.
I am iffy about people who measure the conversion rates on opt-in pages, because you can easily
say something that will turn off serious buyers but will get lots of freebie seekers to subscribe to
your list. You can get lots and lots of sign-ups that don't necessarily lead to sales.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 7
Chapter 6: Build a Swipe File
A common trick to developing good copy is the rewriting tip I mentioned earlier, so you can start
building a swipe file. When you read anything& it might be a sales letter, a fiction book& if
you see a really kickass headline or sentence, write it down! Don't steal it. Rewrite it later if you
need it.
If an advertisement in the newspaper catches your attention, save it and rewrite it by hand to
figure out where the "trigger" is that keeps you reading. Add that phrase to your swipe file.
Russell Brunson is a marketer who loves to write ads and saves a lot of his junk mail (stuff that
comes in the actual mail, not e-mail spam) to study.
Here is a great headline written for Allen Says' Private Posts E-Book:
Here Is How You Can Guarantee a Stampede
of Customers Will Be Putting Their Hard Earned
Cash In Your Pocket Not Only This Time But Every time...
"Who Else Wants To Discover The Amazing Money-Making Secrets
Of A Crazy Undercover Internet Marketing Guru, And How He
Will Take You By The Hand And Show You How You Can Easily
Turn One Simple Idea Into A Cash Generating Wealth Machine?"
In A Few Minutes You Can Start Generating Amazing Streams Of Income
Day After Day, Month After Month, And Year After Year. Income Streams
So Powerful You Won't Be Able To Prevent People From Buying Your
Products And Services Even If You Stopped Advertising Them All Together!
My big secret to building up a swipe file quickly is to go to the Clickbank Marketplace, choose
one of their categories, and visit some of their sites from the first or second pages.
Those products are listed by the best selling ones first, so you can be sure that their sales letters
are full of well-tested headlines and phrases for you to make into your own.
My two favorite swipe file phrases of all time are:
·ð From an ad hung on my doorknob for $50 off my cable service:
"You are looking at a $50 bill disguised as a door hanger!"
·ð From an internet marketing seminar (originally from a monster truck commercial):
"I'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge!"
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 8
Chapter 7: Jumpstart Strategies
Forget almost everything you learned in English class about writing. When I write a sales letter, I
try to keep sentences as short as possible and in very simple language, with short sentences.
I was once told: "Write seven-word sentences." I'm never able to cut it down that much, but
keeping that seven-word sentence in mind keeps my sentences as short as possible. I cut out
unnecessary words.
Write at a 4th or 5th grade writing level. Write the same way your readers think and talk.
I use active sentences whenever possible. An active sentence is: "I ate cake." A passive
sentence is: "The cake was eaten by me." Active sentences are shorter, more direct, and easier to
read. Active sentences PROPEL your readers into action!
In college, I made it a point to give my papers 1% (or less) passive sentences. English
teachers gave me high grades and non-English teachers gave me average grades because "the
language wasn't fancy enough." So what? It was easy as heck to read, and looking back on
those papers, I couldn't find a single sentence to improve.
I write as if the reader is just about to lose interest, so I'll have short paragraphs in the hopes that
certain sentences with pop out at them.
Every now and then, I'll bold part of a sentence to make THAT stand out.
Your goal is to keep your reader entertained and reading until the very end  NOT impress
them with fancy wordage.
Don't be afraid of bullet points. I am big on making bullet point lists to explain something,
instead of a big long paragraph no one wants to read.
Write in groups of three. It's easy to think of "only" three reasons to take action, three benefits
to your product, or three problems you will solve. It's also easy as heck to read.
Never leave out the proven parts of a sales letter. It's all about AIDA  Attention, Interest,
Desire, and Action.
Get attention with a great headline. Keep interest with a story. Build desire with the benefits.
Get them to act with a call-to-action.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 9
Chapter 8: Tackling Writer's Block Head-On
To cure writer's block, you need to practice writing.
Method #1: Blogging
Create a blog. It doesn't need to be fancy. It just needs to be a simple looking blog that resides
on your own domain (preferably YourName.com). Don't write in it every day, just once a week
or twice a month.
Writing in a blog regularly works wonders. Since I've started blogging, I can now crank out
2-3 pages in 10 minutes without breaking a sweat.
Blogging makes you write more efficiently. Forums and e-mails don't give you this skill.
In fact, I've written MANY sales letters that began as a simple blog post, that ended up being
too long, that I eventually copied out and turned into a sales letter.
Method #2: Why and How
If you're stuck with bullet points, just say: "Why ____ and how ___."
For example: "Why you need to stay far away from "the obsessive tester" and how to avoid
becoming one yourself." It doesn't give the actual benefit away, but it explains a problem and
provides a solution.
Method #3: Interview
If you have writer's block, get someone to interview you about your product. Ask a friend or
another marketer in your field to ask you:
·ð What's in it for me?
·ð How can this benefit me specifically?
·ð Why should I buy from you specifically? (What is your Unique Selling Point?)
·ð The biggest objection I have about this product is&
·ð The biggest question I have about this product is&
·ð Why should I pay the price you're asking for?
·ð What is your guarantee?
·ð What exactly do I get when I buy your product?
With an interview, the sales letter will practically write itself!
An interview is a discussion& just like a story, it's hard to break it off at some point. One
sentence leads into the next which leads into the next& all the way down.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 10
Chapter 9: How Do You Write That Killer Headline?
Your headline is the most important part of your copy.
If you don't have a good headline, no one will read the rest of your copy, no matter how
good it is.
First of all: A headline needs a deadline!
Some copywriters will tell you they spend weeks and weeks to write one single headline. This
can't be you. You need to tell yourself, "I'm going to have this headline written today." All
you're going to focus on TODAY is getting that headline done.
Once that's finished, you can do other stuff like check your e-mail or work on the rest of your
sales letter. Not before.
The headline should be the LAST thing you write. Have the rest of your sales copy written
including a mediocre headline and subheadline, features and benefits, all of that stuff.
To write your headline, you will need to keep the most powerful phrases in the sales copy in
mind. You also will need the swipe file you've collected, which are the best phrases in sales
copy you've read.
·ð Open up a Word document and set the font at something large, like Arial Black or
Tahoma, make it bold and around 24 points in size.
·ð Set a timer (it could be a kitchen or stove timer, watch, cell phone timer, whatever) for 3
minutes from now.
·ð Write as many headlines as you can in that 3 minute period. The second it rings, you
have to get up from the computer and do something else  take out the trash, go outside
and take a walk& just get away from the computer.
·ð After you've done something else and put yourself in a different mindset, start over. Set
the alarm and write as many headlines as you possibly can in 3 minutes.
·ð Keep writing pages and pages of headlines until you can't write anymore. Once you
can't write any more headlines, go back and improve the headlines you wrote to make
new headlines.
If you do this right, you will end up with 5 to 10 pages of nothing but headlines. If you want a
decent headline, you can stop after a page or two& but at LEAST get through a whole page of
headlines.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 11
Chapter 10: The Death of Video and Other Gimmicks
Sometimes I use video to demonstrate the product, but you need to keep the video at 2 minutes
or less, if possible. Avoid lame introductory statements like "welcome to my web site." Just get
right into the product in action.
The biggest problem I see with people using video is that they emphasize features and not
benefits. Copywriting with video is still copywriting.
When I record video, I try to keep this in mind:
You Are Using Video to Compress More Information in Less Time.
Video alone won't sell your product. If you have a demonstration video you still need to have a
headline, subheadline, bullet points and a call to action at the bottom  at a MINIMUM.
You need scarcity in your product. This could be a limited number of copies or an increasing
price, or you could just have an explanation of what incredible results your prospects will miss
out on even if they wait one week or one month to buy from you.
Don't price your product too low. Common sense might tell you that setting your product at a
low price point will bring in more sales, but the lower the price, the lower the perceived value.
Try to offer LOTS of value at a high price than a little bit of value at a lower price.
Testimonials can come later. Part of the process of convincing your prospects that the thing
you have is something they want, but if you're launching a brand new product& just get it out
there.
Believe me, I have experimented with pre-launches and giving away free review copies. Your
copy will sell just fine without testimonials. Sell a few copies, gather some testimonials, and
then add it to the sales letter later. Testimonials are less important and less effective than you
think.
If you want a great script that can handle PayPal payments and show how many people have
ordered so far, you should check out PaySensor.
If you want to play around with gimmicks like dime sales, I suggest you check out the script I
provide in Sales Page Tactics Volume 3.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 12
Chapter 11: Write the Damn Thing!
Explain to your reader where the pain is, and then take it away. Do you offer a cure for their
headaches, a solution to their financial problems, a way to improve their golf game so they can
finally stop being laughed at by their friends?
You need to tell them how to gain something  money, power, a new skill& NOT how to keep
what they have or prevent a loss.
Prevention is boring. Things like: how to keep hackers out of your computer, how to keep your
car's gas mileage high, how to stay healthy& are BORING subjects! Keep that in mind.
Use visual imagery. You want your readers to know what it's like to have your product in their
hands or in some way benefitted from it.
Say things like: "People who don't use ___ Are Shaking Their Heads in Frustration!"
Or: "Not Doing ____ Is Like Throwing Money Away in the Trash!"
Get people thinking about "now." Instead of saying "when you get your hands on this
product" go for something more like: "Imagine you have XXX product. Your life is good, your
kids actually like you, and your dog doesn't poop on the couch."
You're ready to start. Have you heard of Parkinson's Law? It says, "Work expands to fill the
time available for its completion."
If you give yourself a month to write that copy, it's going to take you a whole month.
If you only allow yourself 24 hours to put together some sloppy fast food copy, you can have
your product selling within 24 hours.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 13
Chapter 12: Create An Upsell
As a software developer, I have a very firm belief in keeping projects shippable.
Write the product, write the sales letter, hook it up to a payment processor, and get it selling.
You can always add on later, but you need to get your product selling in its most basic form as
soon as humanly possible.
If your offer is 100% done and is selling  it's SELLING  not ready to sell, tweak it to offer an
upsell.
Replace your order button with a link to a second, much shorter sales letter that says, "I know
you're about to purchase Product XYZ, but I've got an even better deal for you!'
Explain very quickly how some bigger product solves the problem even better, then provide
two order buttons  one for the regular-priced original product, and one for the bigger and better,
higher-priced product.
Don't forget that an upsell page is STILL a sales letter. You should still list bullet points,
look at how other people do it, use a swipe file, and split test it.
You don't need a fancy script to do this. Don't offer more than one thing on the upsell. Your
visitor has already committed to buy, now you're making them decide between buying the
regular version or the bigger version.
Something you might want to test is an upsell versus a one-time offer.
·ð With an upsell, your visitor tries to buy, but you stop them and make them choose
between Product #1 or Bigger Product #2.
·ð With a one time offer, your visitor buys Product #1, and after they pay, you present a
link to another sales letter to Product #2 on the thank you page.
Look into a tracking script such as Google Analytics to measure your conversion rate.
Knowing the conversion rate isn't only handy for improving your split tests, it also makes a great
selling point when you're trying to attract joint venture partners and affiliates&
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 14
Chapter 13: Add An Affiliate Program
Once your product launch has died down, the way you are going to keep consistent sales is with
an affiliate program.
An affiliate program is a system where someone promotes your URL with special ID tag, and
they get a commission for the sale.
If you funnel all your sales into a list (put an opt-in form on your thank you page) others will
build your list for you.
An affiliate program will cut down on piracy (who wants to share a product for free when they
can get money for selling it?) and it will keep your product's name out there when people
advertise.
I recommend Clickbank for an affiliate program because they have at least 100,000 affiliates
who can just plug their affiliate username into your URL.
What you need to do is create a condensed version of your sales letter, usually about one page.
This is called a solo ad.
Give it to affiliates so that all they have to do is substitute their affiliate link at the end, and mail
it out to their list.
If you funnel your buyers into an autoresponder, automatically send a note after a 7 days asking
them either, "Where can I send you a check?" or, "I would like to buy advertising on your
site."
In the e-mail, explain how they can earn 50% commission on your product by copy and pasting
that message to their e-mail list. If they have a review site or authority site, they'll set that up
as its own page. If they have a blog, they'll make it a blog post.
If you can, add the solo ad as the last chapter of the book and make the call-to-action& your
reader telling their list about your product!
This is where a lot of the negativity about e-books comes from, because some idiots write very
badly written "how to make money" e-books and tell the people who buy them that the only way
they can make money is by promoting their crappy book. Yeah right.
Your book needs to be good and it needs to be in a niche, but not the "how to make money"
niche. If you write a book on a topic like COPYWRITING or MAKING YOUR OWN DOG
FOOD, and someone buys it, chances are that buyer has their own established site and
maybe even their own mailing list in that niche. That's good marketing.
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 15
What's Next?
First of all, if you like this report, remember, you do not have resale rights to it and cannot sell it
yourself or give it away.
However, I can give you 50% commission from all sales you refer to me. Just sign up for a
Clickbank account, then promote this URL:
http://YourClickbankID.fastfoodcopywriting.com
Replace "YourClickbankID" with your actual Clickbank ID. Clickbank, my payment processor,
handles every sale and sends you a commission check every two weeks.
If you have a mailing list, go ahead and copy and paste this message to ALL your subscribers:
http://www.fastfoodcopywriting.com/solo1.txt
It s all setup for you. You only need to send traffic to that URL. The sales letter, order
fulfillment, and support is all handled by me. You only need to send traffic and collect your
payment.
Second, I already told you that writing the headline is the hardest part of writing web copy.
Once you ve got your sales letter written, if you want a great headline that matches the sales
letter, go to:
http://www.MrHeadline.com
Lastly, if you've got sales copy all finished for a product and it's selling, and you're ready to try a
few tweaks to boost conversion rates and rake in more sales, I highly recommend my "Sales
Page Tactics" series:
http://www.SalesPageTactics.com
ROBERT PLANK: FAST FOOD COPYWRITING 16