The Kama Sutra: Part V Chapter 2








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CHAPTER II
ABOUT MAKING ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE WOMAN, AND OF THE EFFORTS TO GAIN HER
OVERANCIENT
authors are of opinion that girls are not so easily seduced by employing female
messengers as by the efforts of the man himself, but that the wives of others
are more easily got at by the aid of female messengers than by the personal
efforts of the man. But Vatsyayana lays it down that whenever it is possible a
man should always act himself in these matters, and it is only when such is
impracticable, or impossible, that female messengers should be employed. As for
the saying that women who act and talk boldly and freely are to be won by the
personal efforts of the man, and that women who do not possess those qualities
are to be got at by female messengers, it is only a matter of talk.
Now when a man acts himself in the matter he should first
of all make the acquaintance of the woman he loves in the following manner:
He should arrange to be seen by the woman either on a
natural or special opportunity. A natural opportunity is when one of them goes
to the house of the other, and a special opportunity is when they meet either at
the house of a friend, or a caste-fellow, or a minister, or a physician, as also
on the occasion of marriage ceremonies, sacrifices, festivals, funerals, and
garden parties.
When they do meet, the man should be careful to look at
her in such a way as to cause the state of his mind to be made known to her; he
should pull about his moustache, make a sound with his nails, cause his own
ornaments to tinkle, bite his lower lip, and make various other signs of that
description. When she is looking at him he should speak to his friends about her
and other women, and should show to her his liberality and his appreciation of
enjoyments. When sitting by the side of a female friend he should yawn and twist
his body, contract his eyebrows, speak very slowly as if he was weary, and
listen to her indifferently. A conversation having two meanings should also be
carried on with a child or some other person, apparently having regard to a
third person, but really having reference to the woman he loves, and in this way
his love should be made manifest under the pretext of referring to others rather
than to herself. He should make marks that have reference to her, on the earth
with his nails, or with a stick, and should embrace and kiss a child in her
presence, and give it the mixture of betel nut and betel leaves with his tongue,
and press its chin with his fingers in a caressing way. All these things should
be done at the proper time and in proper places.
The man should fondle a child that may be sitting on her
lap, and give it something to play with, and also take the same back again.
Conversation with respect to the child may also be held with her, and in this
manner he should gradually become well acquainted with her, and he should also
make himself agreeable to her relations. Afterwards, this acquaintance should be
made a pretext for visiting her house frequently, and on such occasions he
should converse on the subject of love in her absence but within her hearing. As
his intimacy with her increases he should place in her charge some kind of
deposit or trust, and take away from it a small portion at a time; or he may
give her some fragrant substances, or betel nuts to be kept for him by her.
After this he should endeavour to make her well acquainted with his own wife,
and get them to carry on confidential conversations, and to sit together in
lonely places. In order to see her frequently he should arrange so that the same
goldsmith, the same jeweller, the same basket maker, the same dyer, and the same
washerman should be employed by the two families. And he should also pay her
long visits openly under the pretence of being engaged with her on business, and
one business should lead to another, so as to keep up the intercourse between
them. Whenever she wants anything, or is in need of money, or wishes to acquire
skill in one of the arts, he should cause her to understand that he is willing
and able to do anything that she wants, to give her money, or teach her one of
the arts, all these things being quite within his ability and power. In the same
way he should hold discussions with her in company with other people, and they
should talk of the doings and sayings of other persons, and examine different
things, like jewellery, precious stones, etc. On such occasions he should show
her certain things with the values of which she may be unacquainted, and if she
begins to dispute with him about the things or their value, he should not
contradict her, but point out that he agrees with her in every way.
Thus end the ways of making the acquaintance of woman
desired.
Now after a girl has become acquainted with the man as
above described, and has manifested her love to him by the various outward signs
and by the motions of her body, the man should make every effort to gain her
over. But as girls are not acquainted with sexual union, they should be treated
with the greatest delicacy, and the man should proceed with considerable
caution, though in the case of other women, accustomed to sexual intercourse,
this is not necessary. When the intentions of the girl are known, and her
bashfulness put aside, the man should begin to make use of her money, and an
interchange of clothes, flowers should be made. In this the man should take
particular care that the things given by him are handsome and valuable. He
should moreover receive from her a mixture of betel nut and betel leaves, and
when he is going to a party he should ask for the flower in her hair, or for the
flower in her hand. If he himself gives her a flower it should be a sweet
smelling one, and marked with marks made by his nails or teeth. With increasing
assiduity he should dispel her fears, and by degrees get her to go with him to
some lonely place, and there he should embrace and kiss her. And finally at the
time of giving her some betel nut, or of receiving the same from her, or at the
time of making an exchange of flowers, he should touch and press her private
parts, thus bringing his efforts to a satisfactory conclusion.
When a man is endeavouring to seduce one woman, he should
not attempt to seduce any other at the same time. But after he has succeeded
with the first, and enjoyed her for a considerable time, he can keep her
affections by giving her presents that she likes, and then commence making up to
another woman. When a man sees the husband of a woman going to some place near
his house, he should not enjoy the woman then, even though she may be easily
gained over at that time. A wise man having a regard for his reputation should
not think of seducing a woman who is apprehensive, timid, not to be trusted,
well guarded, or possessed of a father-in-law, or mother-in-law.


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