From: Swinggcat's Secrets For Attracting Women
[[e-mail]]
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2005 8:39 PM
Subject: How To Talk To Women Over The Phone...
How To Talk To Women Over The Phone...
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Hey Guys,
I get a lot of questions about talking to
women over the phone. Instead of answering
each one individually I thought I'd do a whole
newsletter on the topic. As I'm teaching you
exactly how step-by-step to talk to women over
the phone, I'll be alluding to an essential
*key ingredient* for ATTRACTING women in
general. SO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED AS YOU READ ON.
The lurid reality is this: The vast majority of
phone numbers men get will never amount to
anything, because most men DON'T know the
right way to talk to women over the phone.
If you have not yet learned the *right way* to
talk to women over the phone, REALIZE that
mastering this skill will at the very least
DOUBLE your current success with women - point
blank!
When getting a woman's phone number, the average
collective male chooses one of three categories
of action. In most cases, however, he is damned
no matter which one of the three categories he
chooses. As you READ each category it will
become apparent to you why this is
the case.
Category # 1: Trying To Win Over A Woman's Heart...
Some of you hopeless romantics might argue:
there is a heap of sentimental value
encapsulated in the journey of winning over a
woman's heart. Maybe so. But in the wake of
your efforts your chances are slim to nil of
generating ANY attraction with her. Women are
ATTRACTED to men who are the PRIZE. When you
try to win over, impress, or get validation
from a woman, you are making her the Prize in
the interaction, not you. Doing this is the
quickest rout to eradicating ANY ATTRACTION
there. I should know; I've lost many women
from doing this. Their attitude towards me
turned from fun loving warmth into
contemptuous ennui, imputing me as the source
of their boredom. Scorning me, as if I was a
suppository wrapped in gold foil that they
mistakenly bit into, credulously thinking I
was an Almond Roca.
Some men will try to win a woman over by
attempting to act entertaining or funny. Acting
entertaining and funny can generate MASSIVE
ATTRACTION in women but only within the context
of being the Prize.
In the context, however, of trying to win a
woman over, acting entertaining and funny will
destroy any ATTRACTION that was there. Even if
a woman is laughing at everything you are
doing and saying, she will probably be
thinking: "Dance little monkey...dance!" Women
somehow clairvoyantly know when you're acting
entertaining and funny as a means to impressing
or getting validation from them. If you're
adamant about acting entertaining and funny,
that's fine. But make sure you have the mindset
that you're doing it for your own amusement, not
trying to win her approval. I know many guys who
aren't particularly funny, though, women find
them hilarious and very attractive. This is
largely because these men aren't acting funny and
entertaining in the context of trying to win a
woman over. They, instead, are enjoying and
amusing themselves. So, when talking to a woman on
the phone DON'T worry about impressing her. Have
fun. Enjoy the conversation. Amuse yourself.
Many guys will try to fill the quota of a woman's
"Ideal Man." What usually happens is this: As a
guy is talking over the phone with a woman she'll
bring up what she likes - or more often, what she
disdains - in a man. Most guys, then, end up
trying to qualify or prove to the woman that they
are her ideal man. Don't do this. It conveys to
the woman that you view her as a Prize you are
trying to win over. If a woman starts listing
her "man" standards and requirements or begins
yapping about a guy she really likes, interrupt
her with, "this conversation's really boring
me" or, alternatively, start conspicuously
yawning. Both tactics are very powerful because
they transform the underlying meaning of your
phone conversation from:
To win her over you have to possess or display
such-and-such qualities.
Into...
You letting her know that her conversation topic
is not winning her any points with you.
(If you DIDN'T get what I just wrote, read it a few
more times - it is really important!).
A direr version of this is when guys probe women
with questions about what they look for in a man.
If you are guilty of this, stop it! Besides making
you look insecure about how you measure up to what
she's normally ATTRACTED to, you're defining the
underlying meaning of the phone conversation as her
being the Prize, not you. When talking to women on
the phone, DON'T probe her with questions about what
she's normally attracted to. ASSUME, instead, that
you are the Prize she is trying to win over. Make
her fill the quota of your ideal woman. While
talking to a brunette on the phone, I might, for
example, haphazardly chuckle to which she'll
inevitably shoot back with, "What?" I'll rebut
with, "You're a brunette, aren't you?" and she'll
say, "Yes." Then I'll let her know she doesn't
fill my quota with, "I only like blondes! You
aren't my type...but we can be friends." Doing
this is more than light hearted banter: I'm
defining the underlying meaning of our phone
conversation as me being the Prize.
I know a few guys who try to win women over by
giving lots of compliments. I think giving women
compliments can be very powerful. But when you give
a woman compliments within the context of trying
to win her over, you become a courtier: a flatterer
of someone more important than you. Put simply, you
are unknowingly implying that she is the Prize, not
you.
Category # 2: Treating Her Like Your Wife...
If a woman gives you her number - even if you feel
like you have a special connection with her or end
up sleeping with her the first night you meet - she
is not yet your girlfriend or wife. Treating a
woman like a wife when first getting to know her
will hurl you to the top of the Creep-O-Meter. This
means DON'T: ask her questions about other guys
she's seeing, suspiciously interrogate her about
how she spends her time, and angrily reprimand her
for flaking on you. How she spends her time is her
business. Telling a confident, intelligent woman
who you've just met what she can and cannot do
will make her run so fast it will make your head
spin.
At some point, most of us, guys, have been
chagrined by a woman flaking on us, causing us to
brood over it for hours and, then, angrily
reprimand her to no avail - it sucks! But you know
what: Whoop-de-do...go sail a f*ing boat! Suck it
up! She doesn't care. Put your rampant intellectual
coping mechanism in check. The angrier you get, the
less ATTRACTED to you she'll be. Later on I'll tell
you the *right way* to handle women flaking. SO KEEP
READING.
Category # 3: Acting Aloof And Disinterested And
Letting Her Pursue You...
More than a few people have accused me of endorsing
this category. There only half right. As you read on,
you'll get what I mean. One of the morals in the
movie Swingers is: You need to wait seven days before
calling a girl's number - you wouldn't want to look
needy or desperate. They give a pretty funny example
illustrating the consequences of breaking this moral
when the protagonist, a lovable-loser named "Mike"
calls a woman he has only known for a few hours
seven times in a row, redounding in her telling him
to never call her again (If you haven't seen the
movie, do so. It's a must). This moral has become
intrinsic to the zeitgeist of the modern dating
advice and self-help for men world.
The moral is right in theory but wrong in practice.
With beautiful women in the Real World, NOT acting
proactive will lead to many lonely nights. To smack you
upside the head with this, waiting for women to call
you is a hopeless strategy. Unless you've gotten a
woman on the hook, waiting for her to call is not
making her chase you, it is passively wishing for her
to pursue you. I am NOT touting you to chase, pursue,
and try to win women over, either.
Proactive Prizing: Actively Creating A Space For Her To
Chase You...
In my book I talk about Prizing - the art of making a
woman chase you. You can only Prize women, however,
within certain contexts. And MOST of the time, you
need to proactively create these contexts. Passively
waiting for these contexts is a losing battle. This
especially applies to Prizing women over the phone.
If you DON'T call a woman or if you passively wait
for her to call you, you aren't proactively creating
the context to Prize her. It isn't her responsibility
to chase you; it's your responsibility to make her
chase you. Don't be passive. Take the initiative. Be
Proactive. Will some women think you are chasing them?
Yes, but who cares! You can undermine this by, for
example, telling her: "You aren't my type and I want to
let you know that I'd never go for you, though I do
find you amusing to talk to." This is a form of what in
my book I call "Push-Pull." If you've been studying my
book, you probably have already realized why doing
something like this will quickly and effectively get a
woman chasing you.
I remember the days when I'd passively wait for a
woman to call me. Looking back, I now realize the heaps
of success I missed out on, all because I didn't yet
understand the concept of proactive
Prizing.
The better you get at this the more you'll find women
asking you out on dates over the phone - it's almost
scary how much this happens to me. Don't passively,
however, wait for a woman to ask you out on a date.
It is up to you to get her from the phone to a
physical location (Maybe I'll do a whole newsletter
addressing this topic). Will some women perceive this
as you chasing them? Yes but, as I said before, you
can undermine this later. Let me give you an example.
A few years ago, I was talking over the phone with a
woman who mentioned an affinity for art. I invited
her to an art exhibit. She responded with, "Are you
trying to ask me out on a date?!" I chuckled and
Prized back with, "No...my grandmother's coming too. I
know the elderly don't leave the house much so I
thought I'd do my good deed for the year by getting
you two girls out for some fresh air. Oh, just to
let you know, I don't tolerate funny smells. So be
sure to wear your adult diaper." She laughed and,
then, told me I was a wicked bastard. But she showed
up at the museum, claiming to be wearing her adult
diaper. Luckily, her diaper ended up being G-string
underwear.
You don't always have to undermine your intentions
when asking a girl out but it usually can't hurt,
plus it takes the pressure off her thinking it is
some big date.
Sometimes, no matter what you say, women end up
flaking. I've met tons of guys who are amazing with
women. Yet even they have experienced women flaking
on them. Any guy who tells you he never has women
flake on him is lying - point blank. The reasons for
women flaking are too numerous to list in this
newsletter. Many of these reasons are probably
different from ones you've thought of. Some
attractive women, for example, will flake on guys
out insecurity, fearing that he'll discover their
flaws, making him less attracted to them. For your
sake, however, it is not important to analyze and
address the reasons why women flake. If they flake,
brush it off, keep proactively Prizing them, and
then ask them out again.
As long as you follow my guidelines - even if
you're still nervous while talking to girls on
the phone - you'll be a hundred times better off.
And if you haven't already picked up a copy of my
book, do so. I give you step-by-step instruction
on how to establish yourself as the PRIZE and get
any woman chasing you, allowing you to achieve the
mastery and success with women you deserve. And
this is only scratching the surface of what I'm
going to teach you. Stop allowing opportunities to
pass you by. Let me show you step-by-step how to
generate massive attraction with women.
http://clicks.aweber.com/z/ct/?O8WfselR4VcTIXUKyYbr1w
**********************************************
Swinggcat responds to your emails:
Comment:
Dear Swinggcat,
I wanted to compliment you on your e-letters.
I subscribe to a few of the dating e-letters
that are out there, and I think you have
some of the best "real-life" advice to give.
I think many of the other sites are beneficial
in meeting a girl and maybe getting laid. But
yours is probably the best for developing a
relationship.
Your comments on being friends with women is
the perfect example of this. Some of the other
sites seem to totally neglect this. Female
friends are a major help in attracting women.
When I've gone out with a mixed group of
friends (women and men), the level of
attraction from women is so much higher than
when I'm just with my guy friends. My female
friends have also given some good advice when
it comes to attraction.
For most of us out there looking to improve
ourselves in this aspect, finding and keeping a
great women is our ultimate goal. For a
30-something year old, like myself, I don't
just want to find some random girl to have sex.
I want a relationship, and your advice
definitely helps with that.
Keep up the good work!
MA, Middletown, NJ
My Comments:
Thank you for this! Most dating experts fall
into one of two categories: Either they are
relationship experts or pick up gurus. I don't
think I fit into either category. My approach
is more holistic. I believe that many of the
skills typically associated with picking up
women are essential to having successful
relationships. And, likewise, many of the
skills usually associated with having healthy
successful relationships are essential to
meeting and picking up on women. Once again,
thank you.
Question:
Hey Swinggcat,
Your letters are very good stuff!
Congratulations, man. I enjoy them enormously.
I have a question for you though: how can I
establish PRIZABILITY with a woman without
saying a word? Only by looking at each other,
without a word?
G. from Sydney, Australia
My Comments:
Ah yes...A truly lazy man. Love it! For those
who DON'T know, PRIZABILITY is establishing
yourself as the PRIZE when interacting with
women. Just like proactive Prizing is important,
you need to PROACTIVELY establish yourself as
the Prize. Using your eyes, however, will
suffice. One thing that will help enormously is
really developing your belief that you are the
Prize (Also, reread my article, Demystifying
Charisma. I break down step-by-step how to
develop a strong intent. This should help).
As for what you should do with your eyes, you'll
have to wait for my audio course.
Comment:
I think actually what I said before about how
you can always make her think you are the PRIZE
is wrong, or rather it applies only to immature
masochists. Or rather, the lower a woman's
self-esteem and maturity, the more likely it is
to work. There is nothing anyone could do to
make a mature woman in excellent mental health
"lose it" and put out because he is "the PRIZE".
He can make them think he's an attractive jerk,
yes. But more attractive for a man than they
are for a woman, so they "have to" put out
regardless of whether he has given any
indication that they might be special to him, no.
But for better or worse, immature masochists are
the pool that pros deal with, so practically
speaking it does not matter much. The things you
say (and what I said) will definitely work with
that crowd. What that is worth, other than
ego-gratification, is another question.
Best Wishes,
DLW
My Comments:
First off, there is still a gruesome stigma in our
culture about loose women. This forces many girls
to put on the goody two shoes façade. But it's only
pretense. It is actually quite astounding how many
women partake in "no strings attached" sex. There
probably are some women that stay true to, for
example, no premarital sex...no if, ands, or buts.
This number, however, is most likely a lot lower
than what you're thinking.
Furthermore, a woman partaking in "no strings
attached" sex has nothing to do with her being
either a mature woman or, as you call it, an
immature masochist. All it reflects is her value
and belief system. Put simply, there are different
strokes for different folks.
I don't teach men to try to convince women that they
are the Prize. What I teach, instead, is how to
establish yourself and genuinely be the Prize with
women. There's a huge difference.
Most successful, confident, go-getter women go after
what they want - no strings attached sex included.
If you establish yourself as the Prize, they will
most likely go after you - it's only nature.
Being the Prize does not mean being a jerk. Being a
jerk can be one style of being the Prize. You can,
however, be a genuinely nice, standup guy, while
still being the Prize.
Comment:
Dude, you rock. I've read a lot of this stuff, and I
think yours is by far the best. I especially like how
you give lots of specific examples of things to do,
but it all boils to the underlying principles of
controlling the frame and pushing & pulling. I'll tell
you how cool you are some more once I'm sleeping with
super-hot women all the time, but first I have to get
past this damnable fear of doing a cold approach.
Feeling inhibition about approaching whoever I want to
is not acceptable to me, and I've finally gotten to
the point where I can't take it any more and I'm
ready to do whatever it takes, and so now talking to
women I don't know is a full-time job, even to the
exclusion of other hobbies. But it's a hell of a rush
and it gets easier every time.
Peace,
L. from TX
My Comments:
Thanks for the praise. And keep approaching women. It
will get easier. I'm going to be releasing a product
where I really crack the code on getting rid of the
fear of approaching women. It's very powerful and to
my knowledge, I'm the first one to think of it. This
will help you immensely. I'm glad you're motivated.
But don't let picking up women consume your life -
balance is important. I, in fact, have found that my
own success is the highest when I have balance in my
life.
Comment:
Hey man,
I just wanted to say again...you're ebook kicks sooo
much ass. I have a couple of friends who are very good
at getting girls. Some times I will compete with them
over a girl because I think I'm a big shot Pickup
Artist that knows all of this stuff about girls. The
last time I did this I lost and I talked to the guy
about what happened. I analyzed it for a long time and
asked him what he does and kind of wrote it down. I
was just looking at your ebook again and guess
what...they were just doing the stuff you talk about.
Mostly the push/pull. We're all good looking guys and
my buddy that I lost to will pull girls by giving eye
contact and smiles and asking them about themselves
and pushing by putting his attention on other things
or teasing them. One thing I've noticed when doing
push/pull to the extremes...that is, going to far in
the directions...you can really make girls want to
destroy you. I've had this happen a couple of times
when I've gotten girls interested in me or had them
believe I was very interested in them and then do
something like subtly suggest that I would not be
interested in having sex with them or telling them
that I like one of their friends. They usually go
to large extents to make me look bad to as many
people as they can.
What new products are you coming out with?
J from Arizona
My Comments:
When I was trying to figure this stuff out, I, also,
noticed guys who were naturally good with women
using push-pull. When you are first learning
push-pull, you can go overboard. Once, however, you
have mastered the skill you will find that you can
never go too far with it. The sky is the limit -
really!
To answer your question about upcoming products: Yes,
I am working on a product that really is a paradigm
shift in thinking about the dating and attraction
game.
Question:
hi
I am impressed by the way you think. You obviously
have an awesome level of "natural charisma" and
confidence in you. Now doc, I have a problem here.
If you can just give me little bit of guidance,
that will feel great. I'll explain everything in
brief and I'll go in detail later. this girl we
hooked up, went out for 2 months. The mistake I did
then was I really started kissing up to her. but
when it happened, it was like magic. she initially
came to my room and @ that time i had no idea that
I would ever end up with her.....but magically ..I
did... I could not go out with her officially as
I'm like one of the care takers in a hostel but I
still did go out with her unofficially. People did
suspect and heaps of boys (some of who like her),
disliked me. They really had her on(they were not
sure) about goin out with me but it was unofficial.
Well she knows all the tricks in da book... I broke
up with her 1.5 months ago. I talked to her last
time invited her over for drinks in my room but
she turned me down as she had a plane to catch.
We somehow discussed the past and she passed some
rude comment that got me angry and I told her
that I never cared about anything including
her. She told me that she is with someone else,
of what I'm not sure as I've never seen or heard
of anyone with her. She got really angry and
hung up on me and said do you know what you
just said implies?!. we are hardly on talking
terms. I'd like to be with her if possible but
if not...it's fine.
The problem is we talked 2 weeks ago and she'd
gone out for holidays. she's just come back and
I don't think I could start talking. anyhow,
after a week I went to her room to return
something of hers and she just showed that she
doesn't care ..I just told her that after having
gone out with her, I don't think it's right for
me to be just passing next to her and ignoring
her. we've been a lot intimate before. I said
it's silly and also apologized about the
behavior. I explained to her that I was drunk
but also told her that I thought that she owed
me an apology. she should have the courtesy and
respect to say good bye properly...not hang up
on me..Then she replied.."but I did hang up on
you" anyway, I left her room but most of the
conversation was almost without an eye contact
as she was doing something or the other like
"studying" or cleaning up her room*(pretending
not to care).....now I like her. want her...
but dunno how to go about it.. Any suggestions?
M
My Comments:
I'm going to give a really detailed in depth
response, so get ready. Here it is: Move on!!!!!
I'm guessing you don't yet have my book. Get
it - immediately!
When you are coming from a place of weakness you try
to hold onto things that are over.
But when you have the skills to move through the
world, turning wishes into opportunities you can
quickly and easily grab a hold of, you can let go of
the past. Let me ask you question: If every woman on
the planet desired you, would you have written me this
email? I have a hunch the answer's "No!" Am I right?
Look - I've been in situations where I didn't want to
let go of a girl, because I didn't want to be alone,
fearing I wouldn't be able to find another girl. I
was coming from a place of weakness.
I no longer have this fear - because I have
mastery over the necessary skills to attract
desirable women anywhere I go. I'm going to teach
you step-by-step how to develop these skills,
empowering you to attract any woman you desire,
annihilating every last morsel of fear you have
about being alone. Click here to start mastering
these skills:
http://clicks.aweber.com/z/ct/?hTe1Hr91XezjobRrSemgFQ
Your Loyal Dating Coach,
Swinggcat
"Dr. Attraction"
P.S.-If you have a success story you would like
to share, or a question you would like to ask, or
a comment you would like to make, please email
me at:
[e-mail]
Include the fist initial of your first and last
name. And include the country, state/province,
and city you live in.
This whole "learning" thing goes both ways, you
know! Oh, and be sure not to just hit "reply" to
this email, because I won't get it!
Thanks!
P.P.S. - If you have been enjoying my book and
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