Meeting2:

Jonathan Steinberg: `Hypochondriacs Arise!'

Task 1: Vocabulary check

Divide the following words into categories:

• A dose

• Throbbing

• Coronary thrombosis

• Twitch

• Duodenum

• Barium meal test

• Pneumonia

• Jaw

• Lymph gland

• Cancer

• Tumour

• Chapped

• Medicine prescribed

• Inflammation

• Nostril

Illnesses	Parts of body	Other health related expressions

Read the text and try to predict the content of the missing parts:

How many hypochondriacs are there? Can anybody in the great social science industry tell me? Even to the nearest ten thousand?

I doubt it, and I think I know why. 1?_________________

My rational self tells me that, just because the cut on my finger has been throbbing for two days, I am unlikely to die of gangrene creeping up my arm as my finger turns black. My hypochondria is fed, in constant doses, by half the scientific knowledge I need, and twice by
2? _________________. I know enough anatomy to identify the twitch in my chest as the first spasm of coronary thrombosis, and to point to my duodenum with the authority of a second-year medical student.

Of course, like many hypochondriacs, I enjoy (not exactly the word) sound health. My fat medical file contains very little of substance, though there is fine selection of negative barium meal tests. In fact, the only spell I ever had in hospital took place when 3?_________________________ So much for my diagnostic accuracy.

Hypochondria lies between the rational self which says: Nonsense, you are fine,' and the deeply pessimistic self, which fingers a swelling discovered under the jaw as you shave and converts it into the first lump of a fatal cancer of the lymph gland.

These feelings are embarrassing enough but they are made worse by the brisk treatment I get from many overt anti-hypochondriacs about: people like wives or editors, who say: 4? ______________________________when the first stages of brain tumour have began to paralyse my left arm.

Such persons know nothing. They are capable of astonishing acts of self-forgetfulness. 5?_____________

______________________________________________ For these creatures of the light, the world is a simple place. You are either well or sick and that's is that, categories which admit of no confusion. `If you are ill, `an anti-hypochondriacs say, `you ought to go to bed and stop moping.' They remind me of a story told of the economist, Keynes, and his Russian ballerina wife, staring silently into the fire. Keynes asked, `What are you thinking my dear?' She replied, `Nothing' and he said, `I wish I could do that.'

There is no much comfort to be had from other hypochondriacs, either. I had lunch once with a distinguished writer whom I very much wanted to impress. He greeted me with the words, `Please excuse the condition of my nose.' During the next few minutes fascinated but trying not to be staring, I established two things :6? _____________________________________. The combination meant that I could have been three other people for all he cared. As we parted, he again apologised about his nose. I was furious.

1. The trouble about being a hypochondriac (and I speak from a lifetime practice) is that you feel silly.

2. my imagination

3. I actually had something. What I thought was a cold turned out to be pneumonia.

4. `Get up! There's nothing wrong with you', or `Never seen you looking better, old boy'

5. They walk about with lips so chapped that a penny could fit the cracks. They go so far as to forget to take medicine prescribed for them.

6. first, that he had a small inflammation by his right nostril, and second, that he was a fellow-hypochondriac

Task 2: Comprehension Check

Complete the statements by choosing the answer which you think fits best:

1. The author suggests that the exact number of hypochondriacs is not known because they

a. are not taken seriously by the social scientists.

b. feel too embarrassed about their fears to admit them.

c. don't take their fears seriously enough them to discuss them.

d. are aware that they represent a tiny minority

2. The author describes how his own hypochondria can be set off by

a. reading articles in medical journals.

b. noticing unusual physical sensations.

c. studying his personal medical files.

d. asking for advice from student doctors

3. The author's medical history suggests that

a. he has never had any serious illnesses.

b. his diagnoses has sometimes proved correct.

c. he has had very few medical examinations.

d. most of his fears proved groundless.

4. Anti-hypochondriacs are described as people who

a. pay no attention to minor illnesses.

b. don't accept that people get ill.

c. have little faith in the medical profession.

d. smile cheerfully however ill they are.

5. The author recognised a fellow hypochondriac by the fact that

a. the conversation centred around the writer's health.

b. the writer was so sympathetic towards him.

c. a minor complaint so concerned the writer.

d. the writer seemed to want attention from more people.

Task 3: Vocabulary Follow Up

The ten dialogue exchanges between a doctor and a patient have been mixed up. Decide which response should follow which question:

1. I've been suffering from insomnia lately. Do you think I might be heading for a nervous breakdown?

2. I seem to have some sort of stye or infection in my right eye. Do you think I might have conjunctivitis?

3. I think I've got an ulcer in my mouth. Do you think it could be a sign that I'm run down?

4. I can't stop scratching the place on my foot. Do you think it's athlete's foot?

5. I've got a rather sore throat and I keep feeling a little flushed. Do you think it could be flu?

6. I've come out in a rash on my chest. Do you think it could be a skin disease like dermatitis?

7. I've got a big bump on the back of my head. Do you think it might be more than a bruise?

8. I feel so feverish, I'm sure I've got temperature. I'm afraid there is something wrong with my heart.

9. I've got a dull ache in my arm. Could it be a minor fracture or a chipped bone?

10.I keep getting shooting pains down my shin and my ankle. I s that possible that I have broken or sprained something?

a. Possible. Try this lotion for a few days to stop the itching, then start putting on the powder at night.

b. It might well be. I'll put you on antibiotics for a while to lessen the risk of serious infection.

c. Oh, I shouldn't think so, but you should start taking these tranquillisers to get your blood pressure down.

d. Unlikely, but I will give you cough mixture to relieve the symptoms. You can get yourself some lozenges..

e. I would doubt it. Here, rub this cream in for the next few nights to help reduce the swelling.

f. Oh, no, you would know if it was. I'll give you some ointment to rub in to get rid of the inflammation.

g. No, of course not. But I'll prescribe you some sleeping pills to help you get some good night's rest, OK?

h. It's just possible. I'll strap it up and put it in a sling. That should reduce your discomfort quite a lot.

i. I wouldn't have thought so. But I will give you a prescription for some drops to try and clear it up.

j. Well, the X-ray didn't show anything. If it's so painful, you'd better have some crutches to walk with and some painkillers to ease the pain

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