A Christmas Saint
A YA LGBT Books Short Story
Horaida Rodriguez
A Christmas Saint
Copyright © 2014 by Horaida Rodriguez
Published by Horaida Rodriguez at Smashwords
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted by any means  electronic, mechanical, photographic (photocopying), recording,
or otherwise  without prior permission in writing from the author. Any resemblance of
characters to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive
rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
ISBN: 9781311368096
I remember that night when first love ran my life and every inch of me electrified. Christmas was
one of the happiest times and one of the saddest. Perry Saint was everything but what his last
name implied. To be a saint you had to be a pure hearted Christian. Perry was Christian, but the
only praying he ever did was when he was twelve and his Christmas list was pinned up on his
wall above his pillow. Perry was the most corrupted person I knew. That was hard to admit
seeing as he was also the kindest.
When we were sixteen the Christmas of our sophomore year in high school had so much
drama, a TV show could run for a successful five seasons. If in between the fillers were drug
infested and sex driven, none of which we were experienced in. I didn t plan to become one of
those pot smoking basket cases that snuck behind the school to get high and waste away. No.
Me, Ivan Samuels was going to be a mathematician. Even as I said it I felt that I had aged twenty
years.
 Your sixteen going on thirty, I imagined Perry would say shuffling about when he sat
for too long. He was diagnosed with mild ADHD when he was in the first grade.
 My teacher didn t want to put up with me. That s why I got tested, he told me when we
were old enough to know what the disease meant. You d be seen as  special for the rest of your
life. And when we meant  special we meant everyone assumed that things had to be spelled out
so slowly. Yet Perry was beyond smart, sometimes he put me to shame.
The night I told Perry, the guy of my dreams I was in love with him, I d been outside his
house, rehearsing. Planning every step of my life so I wouldn t make mistakes was what got me
through most of my anxiety.
 Perry, I began. The lights strung on his fence gave me comfort. This was Christmas.
Wasn t it supposed to be a time of miracles and a time where you were bound to get what you
wanted?  I know you re probably obsessed with so many girls at school, but I want you to be
obsessed with me. No, that makes me sound like I want a stalker, not a boyfriend.
I looked through the round window at the top of the three story house. An attic loft was
the kind of room he had always wanted and he had a way to make even his parents bend at will
to what he wanted. The silhouette of him dressing made my stomach churn. I d throw up before I
get a word out.
 Okay, I said, looking away keeping the thought of him out of my brain.  Perry, when
I m with you the world around me goes silent. It kills me when you laugh and milk comes out of
your nose. I hate it when you let me win at basketball when you know I d cream you in soccer.
Before you I d never wanted something for Christmas so much more in my life. I love you, and I
hope you love me too.
It sounded more like a proposal, but if I overthought it, I d never be able to say anything.
 It's a little depressing to be sent to the loony bin on Christmas, Perry had managed to
brush his sandy hair enough to be called clean. He was wearing a brown jacket and navy blue t-
shirt. Ties weren t his thing. He didn t wear slacks, but jeans and sneakers. My blue jacket
looked more dressed up then his. I didn t care. I wasn t there to compare our outfits. I was there
to tell Perry that I d rather be more than friends.
His gate squeaked when he opened it to come on to the other side.
 I can t believe it s Christmas already& and freezing, his hands gravitated into his
pockets. Normally winter was sustainable in New England, but it had been too cold to stand
outside for too long. The clock tower chimed in the distance.  Midnight, time for gifts.
Perry pulled out a small present from his pocket. The wrapping was a brown paper with
grey ribbon tied at the edges. He used a paper snowflake as a bow. Wasn t perfect, but it was
him. When I got passed the tape, I opened the top of the box and there was a chocolate inside,
sitting on top of green tissue paper.
 Chocolate, I didn t know why I sounded disappointed. What had we ever given each
other that was extravagant? The used GI s when we were twelve, the crappy house drawings
when we were eight. Back then I loved all of them. Why was now different?
Because I was expecting more.
 It s a kiss, he said.
 That I know. The Hershey s kiss was left untouched.
He moved closer, the snow crunched under his sneakers.  No, his hands came to my
waist and when my hands came to his chest I felt his heart beating. It kept beating when he
brought his face closer.  Your gift is a kiss.
He kissed me slowly. At first it was a simple kiss. One that I could chuck off as just a
moment or a one off. Then both of our lips spread and the level of fierceness our tongues had,
made it& incredible. He took deep breaths within those few moments that we were connected.
He pulled away and I found my body moving forward wanting more. The snow cascaded around
us, creating a white cocoon.
 I needed to do that before&  he was out of breath.
 Before what, I asked confused at his tone of voice.
 Ahh, he screamed, his chest popped forward and he fell to his knees.
 Perry! I fell with him.  Perry!
In those seconds my world went black. Perry was never good at keeping secrets. I hated
that he waited until his heart was giving out to kiss me.
I called his parents, per the doctor s request. They needed to know that his heart was
deteriorating. Unless he received a heart transplant in the next few months they didn t think he
was going to make it.
I was going to lose him before I actually had him.
The Christmas got colder after that year. My mom has to keep reminding me to visit his
grave. To bring the forget me knots he loved so much. Life is too hard. There are too many sad
memories, but when I think about the happy ones I remember that life is good too. I m not ready
to dive off a bridge just yet. I ve just celebrated my thirtieth birthday. My hair is as dark as it had
always been, it s just longer.
I know he d want me to be happy. He d want me to live the life I deserve to live.
 There must be a funeral going on, I couldn t find parking anywhere, Perry slid his fingers in
between mine and laughed.  Mrs. Browning keeps staring at us.
 Do you think she d ever get used to seeing us like this? Perry kissed my wedding band.
 Probably not.
 Hello boys, Mrs. Browning waved, forcing a smile.
 Hi, Mrs. Browning how s your husband, Perry snickered. Mrs. Browning limped away.
She was old fashioned, had a fit when my mom told her Perry and I were getting married and she
was invited. We never moved out of our home town, never moved on from each other. We had
our bumps. During the time Perry was in the hospital, he was ready to give up. Then we d
remember that Christmas kiss.
 She s going to start thinking you re trying to steal her husband.
 Why would I want hers when I have one of my own? He kissed me and as if it were the
first time fourteen years ago, it was amazing. His heart is still weak, but I m not planning to lose
him anytime soon.
 Where are the flowers, I asked.
He reached behind him.  They didn t have many. I was able to get one. Maybe your dad
won t mind so much.
My dad had died a few months before I was born.
I grabbed the flower from his hand and placed it on the snow below my dad s headstone.
 He knows everything now. I looked up at him. His green eyes, my god I ve never seen them
misty like now.
I m lucky, was all I could think. This was my life. My life as Ivan Samuels-Saint.