1) Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 2) Not the brightest crayon in the box. 3) Not the sharpest tool in the shed. 4) A few clowns short of a circus. 5) A few fries short of a Happy Meal 6) A few Cokes short of a six-pack. 7) A few peas short of a casserole. 8) The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. 9) One taco short of a combination plate. 10) A few feathers short of a whole duck. 11) All foam, no beer. 12) The cheese slid off his cracker. 13) Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. 14) He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. 15) An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. 16) As smart as bait. 17) Chimney's clogged. 18) Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. 19) Forgot to pay his brain bill. 20) Her sewing machine's out of thread. 21) His belt doesn't go through all the loops. 22) No grain in the silo. 23) Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. 24) In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most. 25) Brung lipstick to a makeup test. 26) Not the smartest peanut in the turd. 27) Has the IQ of about a dinner plate. 28) Has the attention span of a jar of mayonaise. 29) A couple of sandwiches shy of a picnic. 30) He/She has the directional sense of a waffle iron. 31) Is a bowl shy of a fruit salad. 32) The IQ of a salad bar. 33) The IQ of a warm glass of water. 34) Got it floored in reverse. 35) Full Throttle...Dry tank. 36) Dumb as a sack of hammers. 37) Dumb as a box of rocks. 38) Makes grass look smart. 39) Thick as too short planks. 40) Not the brightest star in the sky. 41) The lights are on but nobody's home. 42) You're so dumb you have to dig for your IQ. 43) Sharp as a bowling ball -Paul 44) Not the sharpest pencil in the case. 45) Not playing with a full deck. 46) His/her brain is on hold. 47) The engine's running but no one is behind the wheel. 48) He rides the short bus to school. 49) A few letters short of the alphabet 50) A curved line short of a circle 51) A few "NO"s short of a toddler 52) A few colors short of a rainbow 53) A few raisins short of California 54) A few snowflakes shy of a snowman 55) A few potatoes short of Idaho 56) A few criminals short of New York City 57) A few apples short of a bushel 58) A couple peeps short of a chicken 59) The wheels are turning, but the car's going nowhere 60) A few laughs short of a comedy 61) A few monkeys short of a zoo 62) A couple fleas short of a dog 63) A couple needles short of a doctor 64) One lie short of a lawyer 65) A tooth short of a crocodile 66) An almond short of mixed nuts 67) A few grains of sand short of a beach 68) Fluff straight from the pillow 69) A fire that just doesn't glow 70) His cheese fell off his cracker 71) His Alphabet doesn't run all the way to "Z". 72) Not the brightest bulb on the porch. 73) When they were passing out brains, he thought they said trains, and he said, "I'll pass." 74) Dragging one wheel in the sand. 75) As blue as a pickle. 76) Fast as a snail. 77) As bright as a rusty nail 78) A hockey stick short of a Canadian 79) A beer can short of a Redneck 80) Couple of birds shy of a flock 81) 2 people short of a threesome 82) One eye short of a Cyclops 83) Five toes short of a foot 84) Too many chickens, not enough grain 85) A blonde. 86) Not much banana under the peel. 87) As sharp as wet leather 88) As sharp as a wet cotton ball 89) Deep as a Frisbee. 90) A few hotdogs short of a barbeque