You know you're on-line too much when... 1. You turn off your computer and go watch your Web TV. 2. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL." 3. You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL. 4. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes. 5. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs. 6. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car. 7. Tech support calls YOU for help. 8. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out." 9. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza. 10. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. 11. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. 12. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said. 13. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep. 14. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to. 15. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy. 16. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile. 17. You sit on AOL for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on. 18. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. 19.You end your sentences with.....three or more periods....... 20. You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support. 21. You think faster than the computer. 22. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and **kisses**. 23. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you. 24. You're on the phone and say BRB. 25. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes. 26. You refer to your teacher as your search engine 27. You tell your girlfriend she had a Hotbot, she Excites you, and when you make love, you scream "YAHOO!". 28. Your parrot says, Polly wants a Hacker! 29. You call your beeper a Hyperlink. 30. Instead of forplay, you ask your spouse if she/he wants to skip the small talk and cyber. 31. Whenever you are asked your address, you give them your URL. 32. Instead of sitting on a chair while on your computer, you sit on a potty. 33. If your love life is ruined by net splits. 34. If you have mastered the fine art of reading fluent typo and consider it your second language. 35. The only Family you send Christmas and Birthday Cards to are the ones who have an email address. 36. Your excuse to your boss for being so lazy... I'm sorry I'm lagging. 37. When you decline a real date with a live person cause your cyber boyfriend (whom you've never met) is waiting online for you. 38. When your acrylic nails are shorter then when you had them put on two weeks ago. 39. When your backside breaks out in a rash. 40. When you have to clean your keyboard with a Q-tip to dislodge the food particles. 41. When the letters come off your keyboard from excessive use. 42. When you pick up your phone on Wednesday to place a call, and the voice mail beeping leads you to messages left by your son, on Sat., Sun., Mon., and Tuesday requesting you to return his call. woo hoo I love my webtv. 43. you go to bed at night and your dreams just scroll on in... 44. When you say "brb" to get a drink everyone in the room places their order and then you actually draw a glass for them, and then proceed to say cheers . 45. You actually invite large groups of people to your house and have internet parties where each of them take turns on your webtv/computer. 46. You say "JK" whenever you're just kidding around with one of you friends. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You may be a geek if... -You've ever used a computer on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the same weekend. -You find yourself interrupting computer store salesman to correct something he said. -The first thing you notice when walking in a business is their computer system. ...and offer advice on how you would change it. -You've ever mounted a magnetic tape reel. -You own any shareware. -You know more IP addresses than phone numbers. -You've ever accidentally dialed an IP address. -Your friends use you as tech support. -You've ever named a computer. -You have your local computer store on speed dial. -You can't carry on a conversation without talking about computers. -Co-workers have to E-mail you about the fire alarm to get you out of the building. -You've ever found "stray" diskettes when doing laundry. -Your computer has it's own phone line - but your teenager doesn't. -You check the national weather service web page for current weather conditions (rather than look out the window). -You know more URLs than street addresses. -Your pet has a web page. -You get really excited when Yahoo adds your link. -You have ever sent E-mail to someone sitting next to you. -You have ever had a dream involving computers. -You have ever modified an ini file. -You would sell your grandmother for more bandwidth. -You start tilting your head sideways to smile. -You get up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your E-mail on your way back to bed. -You've entered that USR X2 contest so many times you get e-mail saying "Forget it, Mike you are not going to win, just go buy the modem". -You know what the USR X2 contest is. -If you have ever dozed off while at the computer. -Have ever e-mailed yourself . -The tech support folks at your ISP call YOU for the tough ones. -You have more than one copy of the same version of software on your machine. -You have ever submitted a tip to windows95.com. -You have ever chatted with someone while talking to them on the phone. -You are surprised that there are other real foods besides pizza.