What do you call a black guy driving a black Cadillac? Black power. What do you call a white guy driving a white Cadillac? White power. What do you call a Puerto Rican guy driving a blue Cadillac? Grand Theft Auto. How do you starve a Mexican? Put his food stamps under his work boots. How do you get a Mexican outta your house? Throw a quarter out How do you find the fastest man in Mexico? Roll a quarter down the hill. Why do cars in Mexico have such small wheels? So they can drive with handcuffs Why do Mexicans drive lowriders? So they can pick strawberries faster What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip Why don't Puerto Ricans have a long history of literature? Because spray paint wasn't invented until 1949 How many Mexicans does it take to roof a house? 8 if you slice them thin enough. What's the difference between a Mexican and a pothole? You swerve to miss the pothole How do u start a Mexican parade? Roll a quarter down the street... What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead Mexican lying in the middle of the street? The dog has brake marks in front of it. Why do Mexicans put shit on the wall at their weddings? To keep the flies off the bride- Michelle Why do Mexicans paint their trashcans red and yellow? So their kids think they're eating at McDonalds Why do Mexicans have big noses? So they have something to pick in the winter Why don?t Mexicans barbecue? Because the beans keep falling through the grill What is the best way to circumcise a Mexican? Kick his sister in the jaw What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? An avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A mudslide What do you call a bunch of Mexican people running down a hill? A jailbreak Why does Mexico suck at the Olympics? Because every Mexican that can run, jump, or swim are all over here. An international flight was over the ocean. All of a sudden, the plane began to lose altitude. The pilot tried to level it out but there was to much weight on the plane. So the crew went below deck and began to throw the luggage out the rear hatch. With a lot of weight gone, the pilot was able to keep the plane level for a while, but it soon began to lose altitude again. The pilot announced over the speakers that in order for the majority of passengers to survive some people would have to jump out to their deaths. Some men began to stand and head for the hatch. A British guy said, "God save the queen," and jumped out. A Frenchman said, "Viva la France," and jumped out. A Texan said, "Remember the Alamo," and threw out a Mexican. One day, there was a duck he was looking for some one to help so a skunk comes up and the duck says, "Hey mister, can you help me? Can you tell me what I am?" The skunk replies "Well let's see, you have webbed feet and a orange beak so you must be a duck." "Okay, cool, I'm a duck." Then the skunk says, "Well now can you help me?" "Sure, Let's see, your half black and half white and you smell. You must be Puerto Rican." What does a Mexican do if he can't jump? Stay in Mexico What happens when a Cuban gets a flat tire? He drowns. What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mudslide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Immigration Why were there only 200 Mexicans at the migrant camp this year? They only had 2 vans Why wouldn't the Puerto Rican let his daughter marry a nigger? He didn't want a grandson that was too lazy to steal. How do you get a Mexican to finish a relay race? Turn on the police sirens Why are Mexicans no good at the summer Olympics? Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already in USA. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans in Star Trek? Because they ain't working in the future either Which country has the nicest mowed lawns and landscaping? Mexico What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him? Get off me homes. Whatłs Cubałs national anthem? Row, row, row your boat How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guys pushing it Why doesn't Mexico have a Navy? Because cardboard doesn't float Why do you always see Mexicans driving around in primered cars? They haven't figured out how to steal a paint job. What are the first three words in the Mexican national anthem? "Attention K-Mart shoppers" What do you call an old Mexican? Bean bag What happens when a Cuban gets a flat tire? He drowns How can you tell a Mexican's not wearing any underwear? There's dandruff on his shoes. How do you get 15 Cubans in a barrel? Tell them it floats. What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country. What do you call a Mexican guy that lost his car? Carlos What do you call a Mexican guy with a rubber toe? Roberto A white guy decides one day he wants to be black. He goes to a doctor and says "i want to be black what can you do" the doctor goes "well we're gonna have to perform surgery which would make your skin tone 100% darker, your dick 5% bigger, and your brain 85% smaller" the white guy agrees and the surgery is set for tomorrow. The next day the surgery is over. The former white guy wakes up shocked and the doctor walks over to him and says, "Umm we made a little mistake. Accidentally we made your skin tone 50% darker, your dick 3% smaller, and your brain 95% smaller, is there anything we can do? Should we leave it?" the former white guy says, "Si Senor." One day, a Mexican went to the US embassy to get his green card, so, the guy there asked him to say 4 words in English, the Mexican went "Metro..... Goldwyn..... Mayer." The guy at the embassy said, "Those are only 3 words." So the Mexican said, "GRRROOOARRRR." An Italian, a French and a Mexican all are window washers at a big company. One day when they were eating lunch the Italian opens his lunchbox and finds lasagna. He says "if my wife makes me lasagna for lunch one more time, I'm going to jump from this platform." The French opens his lunchbox and finds cordon bleu. He says "If my wife makes me cordon bleu for lunch one more time, I'm going to jump and join you." The Mexican opens his lunchbox and finds a peanut butter sandwich. He says "If my wife makes me peanut butter sandwich one more time I'm going to join both of you." The next day, they sit down to their lunches. The Italian opens his lunchbox to find lasagna and he jumps. The French opens his lunchbox to find cordon bleu and he jumps, too. The Mexican opens his lunch to find a peanut butter sandwich and he jumps also. At the funerals the wives come together and talk. The Italian wife says, "I don't know why he killed himself, I thought he loved lasagna." The French wife says, "I don't know why he killed himself, I thought he loved cordon bleu." The Mexican wife says, "I don't know why he killed himself, he made his own lunch." An American, a Russian, and a Mexican were out camping. The American has his Jack Daniels the Russian has his vodka and the Mexican has his tequila. The Russian takes a drink of vodka throws the bottle up in the air and shoots it. The Mexican says, "What did you do that for?" The Russian says, "In Russia we have lots of vodka." The Mexican takes a drink of his tequila throws the bottle up in the air and shoots it. The American says, "man what did you do that for?" The Mexican says, "In Mexico we have lots of tequila." The American takes a drink of his Jack Daniels throws the bottle up in the air and shoots the Mexican. The Russian looks at him and says, "Man, what the hell did you do that for?" The American says, "Oh hell, man, in America we have lots of Mexicans." What is the national anthem to Mexico? Over the river and through the woods.