Lesson #9
Becoming a Leader
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Making Friends & Wingmen (MP3)
Making Friends & Wingmen (MP3)
By
Bobby Rio
Social Training Lab
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Forward
This is a really important lesson. This is because it will help demonstrate the fact that
you are 100% completely responsible for what you make happen. And if you sit around
waiting for someone else to "make it happen" you will watch your entire life slip by.
As the lessons progress we will get deep into "conversation skills" and attraction
building techniques& but this lesson is all about putting yourself in the position to
create a lifestyle that lets you meet the people to have conversations with and attract.
Next week we've got the beginning of a two part lesson that is extremely important in
developing your social skills& all about "getting people to like you."
With that, let s dive headfirst into today s lesson. Don t worry the pool is full of water.
------------------
Note: Download links for previous lessons will be at the close of each PDF file in case
you missed or misplaced an earlier edition.
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Introduction:
This next lesson is a true story that happened to me recently. You are going to find that
I include a lot of stories from my own life to illustrate points that I intend to cover. I
find that seeing principles applied in reality, help you learn better.
Becoming a Leader
I dance like a retarded monkey.
Yes, I've seriously been told that. By a fat girl, no less.
That does wonders for your self esteem.
I can tell you it sucked a bunch sitting in the corner watching my buddies grinding their
shit into drunken chicks up on the stage during Spring Break It's like watching your
friends making the easy lay ups while you stand at the three point line missing shot
after shot.
I never learned to dance
And probably would have skated by the rest of my life avoiding the dance floor if it
weren't for two critical factors:
1.) I talk a lot of shit on TSB about busting through your comfort zone, facing your fears,
yada, yada, yada And I would be the biggest hypocrite in the world if I didn't one day
get around to tackling this lifelong thorn in my side.
2.) I'm dating a Colombian girl, and if you've ever seen Shakira dance, then you know
what a drag it is to have to sit in the corner and watch every time me and my girl head
out to a club.
So, I finally got around to doing something about it.
Yes, old Bobby drags himself to Salsa lessons twice a week. On Friday nights I take
private lessons with my girl.
And then on Monday nights I head solo to the group lessons.
This has actually been a rewarding experience on a shit load of counts&
Above all, I'm actually getting better at dancing (Not saying I'm good yet).
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The Monday night group lessons have introduced me to a ton of cool people.
Plus, dancing with my chick is somewhat of an aphrodisiac and the sex tends to be
incredible after our lessons. But for the sake of this mentorship program,
These Salsa lessons are giving me endless material to write about.
Let's start with the obvious&
Without me having to even say a word you probably can guess that I'm going to use this
as example of finding an obscure little social scene hiding out around the corner from
your house that you probably never even knew existed.
I sure didn't.
I never imagined that there would be this intimate little class that would meet up
EVERY Monday night that it would be jam packed with sexy women, cool dudes, and an
activity that practically forces KINO upon you.
It's fucking great.
But today's lesson is NOT a glorified advertisement for Salsa lessons.
Today's lesson is about LEADERSHIP.
So how does leadership fit in with Salsa lessons?
Glad you asked.
The structure of the social scene has been like this:
Every Monday there is a group lesson. After the lesson ends its open floor for everyone
to mingle and practice. New people come and go every week, but a core group of us are
there every Monday.
One Saturday a month there is Social. The best way I can describe this is like a high
school dance. They open the studio up to the public, throw some disco lights up, and
pump Salsa music until late into the night.
But NO liquor.
Which makes the Saturday night sessions somewhat tame. I can't speak too much from
experience for the Social because I've only attended one so far.
So let's get back to Monday's.
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One of the first things I taught you in the Howitzer Method audio is that it is much
easier to infiltrate a social scene if you have a couple wingmen on your team.
I quickly made friends with a few guys there.
One guy is a Rico Suave type Italian guy who is also dating a Spanish chick so we
bonded quickly on the fine intricacies of dating a Latina.
The other guy, Bill, is the scrappy type, clearly only there for the opportunity to stalk out
some tail.
My kind of guy!
Bill's game isn't tight. On the surface he looks like your average AFC. And talking to him
I quickly realized that he is probably clueless to the fact that a book like "The Game"
even existed.
But this past Monday he nearly knocked my socks off with his ingenuity
Taking the Lead
As fun as these Monday night lessons are every week there is a fundamental problem
that you'll have with any social scene similar to the Salsa Lessons I've been taking.
The problem:
Everyone at the lessons views everyone else at the lesson as their "salsa" friends. What I
mean by this is that although we meet up every Monday, a vast majority of the time is
spent either dancing or talking about Salsa
Which sort of pigeon holes you .
Especially for a guy like me  WHO IS NOT AT THE TOP OF HIS GAME ON A DANCE
FLOOR
Scrappy Bill must have read my mind.
No matter what group it is you are attending, whether its Salsa lessons, Toastmaster's
meeting, AA, Young Entrepreneur events, wine clubs, or whatever
The people who attend these things are there more for the companionship than the
actual "class."
You put the same group of people in the same room for an extended period of time they
start bonding.
It's simple.
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But what isn't simple is taking that "bonding" to the next level.
Well, last Monday Scrappy Bill pulled something out of his sleeve that surprised me
(and made me proud.)
Scrappy Bill sensing the group's budding friendship (and hidden frustration) took it
upon himself to organize a Bowling Night for the entire group
The Brilliance of Bowling
What makes a night out bowling brilliant?
First, he took on the role of leader. Nobody assigned him the role.
HE TOOK IT.
We all could have spent the next six months as "salsa buddies" meeting up one night a
week in the same exact confines of the studio&
And everyone (although secretly wanting more) would very well have done nothing
about it.
But Scrappy Bill stood up and said "I'M GOING TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN"
And did.
Now, he has instantly become "the leader."
And he's isolated the group from the natural habitat of salsa lessons.
Bowling also opens up the wonderful world of intoxication. Yes, unlike the Salsa studios
where alcohol is forbidden Every Bowling alley in America is packed with a Bar.
And we all know how well a little liquor lubricates social interactions
Cheers to Bill.
It's Time to Take It
The first lesson I want you to learn is that you need to begin thinking like a leader right
now.
Do not wait for someone else to assign you the role.
TAKE IT
People are generally bored, frustrated, mindless sheep.
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And they are constantly on the lookout for the guy who tells them what to do.
BE THAT GUY
Don't be shy about.
Don't second guess yourself.
And don't hesitate.
TAKE IT
This Week's Audio Class Download
Week 9 Audio: Making Friends w/ Paladin
Jonathan Paladin joins me to discuss the idea of finding cool wingmen to approach girls
with.
Weekly Schedule of Activities
The exercise for this week is to get in the habit of making decisions and taking on the
role of leader.
LEADERSHIP QUALITIES
This means:
" Be the one who chooses the venue (bar, restaurant, whatever just pick it, and
don't back down)
" Suggest something out of the ordinary (and sell it hard)
" Say things like "We're doing this " (not "what do you want to do")
" Begin making a list of "reserve" activities (these are spur of the moment
suggestions to bounce to) -more on this in upcoming lesson
Suggested Reading
http://www.tsbmag.com/2007/02/23/how-to-lead-a-social-circlewith- power/
http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/11/20/the-leader/
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Further Listening
http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/06/22/how-to-game-in-small-socialcirlces- part-1/
http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/06/23/how-to-game-in-small-socialcircles-part-2/
Additional Resources
Learn more about Jonathan Paladin:
http://www.makesmalltalksexy.com/Paladin
Coming Up Next&
Lesson #10: The Baby Pivot
This is an amazing "rapport building technique" that I learned from a friend of mine
that makes you get a much better reception from women.
Audio Class #06: Conversation Mastery
#9 Ranked PUA in the world, Entropy joints me to talk about Conversation Mastery&
How to have better conversations with women, never run out of things to talk about, and
how to create attraction.
Previous Lessons 
Week 1: http://www.greatseducer.com/Mentorship/Week-1.zip
Week 2: http://www.greatseducer.com/Mentorship/Week-2.zip
Week 3: http://www.greatseducer.com/Mentorship/Week-3.zip
Week 4: http://www.greatseducer.com/Mentorship/Week-4.zip
Week 5: http://www.greatseducer.com/Mentorship/Week-5.zip
Week 6: http://www.greatseducer.com/Mentorship/Week-6.zip
Week 7: http://www.greatseducer.com/Mentorship/Week-7.zip
Week 8: http://www.greatseducer.com/Mentorship/Week-8.zip
©2010 Bobby Rio  All rights reserved http://www.socialtraininglab.com/members Page 9
©2010 Bobby Rio  All rights reserved http://www.socialtraininglab.com/members Page 10