Disenchanted Evenings
A Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Survival Guide
for Coping with the Male Species
By Barb Ewing and Maria Sude
First Edition
A Chance Press Book
http://chancepress.bizland.com
Published by Universal Publishers/
www.uPUBLISH.com, USA 2000
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page a1
Disenchanted Evenings
A Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Survival Guide
for Coping With the Male Species
By Barb Ewing and Maria Sude
Edited by Katina Z. Jones
Cover Design and book layout by
Ihor Gernaga of Third I Graphic Design
First Edition
A Chance Press Book
Published by Universal Publishers/
www.uPUBLISH.com, USA 2000
ISBN: 1-58112-753-7
www.upublish.com/books/sude.htm
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechani-
cal, including photocopying, recording or by any information
storage and retrieval system without written permission from
the authors, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in
a review.
Copyright, 2000, Barb Ewing and Maria Sude
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page a2
To all the men disguised as princes who turned out to be frogs.
Thanks for making this book possible.
We hope you make us rich enough to forget you!
— Barb and Maria
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page a3
Foreword
I have no doubt that Divine Providence brought us together.
When Maria and I first met at a business briefing in January
1997, at the home of my former sister-in-law, somehow I just
knew we shared a common denominator.
First impressions definitely are lasting ones. Maria and I soon
became the best of friends and traveled together often on busi-
ness. What a formidable team we were—she, the “Beautiful
Brunette” and I, the “Blonde Bombshell.” Ha!
It was on one of our journeys to Detroit that the idea for this
book was born. We had exchanged stories of our own, along
with stories we had heard from our girlfriends, of some frustrat-
ing and disappointing behaviors and other strange quirks of men
we had all either dated, married or divorced. It seemed as
though our friends had experienced many of the same trials and
tribulations that we had.
In the middle of rush-hour traffic on Interstate 75, I said, “You
know, Maria, we should write a book.” I quickly glanced her way
and could already see the wheels spinning in her head. “Let’s do
it!” she said.
To our amazement and delight, the book evolved from a few
short quips and anecdotal excerpts into the finished product you
are now holding in your hands. Through synchronicity and at the
suggestion of a dear friend, we connected with our editor, Katina
Jones of Chance Press, and our printer, upublish.com. Katina took
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page a4
the notes of our book from an embryonic idea into organized,
polished, humorous reality. She quickly embraced the tongue-in-
cheek, wry humor that prevails throughout this book, recognizing
the “girlfriend-to-girlfriend” bond and support this book offers.
We were ecstatic! Finally, Disenchanted Evenings (which is the flip
side of “Some Enchanted Evening,” to be sure) was born. We are
delighted to share the dating and mating disasters that naturally
occur when you’ve accidentally chosen a frog and not a prince.
We would especially like to acknowledge and thank our friends
for their input and loving support of this project. Without your
disaster stories, jokes, tips and anecdotes, this survival guide
would not have been possible.
I suppose we should also acknowledge the would-be princes
we’ve known to be frogs at heart. It is because of your antics and
unbelievable behavior that this book even entered our minds.
Finally, we hope that as you read the following pages that you
come to the same realization that we did: Men truly are from
Mars. May the essence of our Sisterhood serve to sustain us all
as we experience our wild ride on this beautiful, otherwise
serene planet of Venus.
Barb Ewing and Maria Sude
January 2000
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page a5
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page a6
Contents
Foreword
Part One:
In the Beginning ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 1
Part Two:
Getting to Know Men as They Really Are ~ ~ ~ ~ 7
Part Three:
A Peek Inside the “Good Old Boys’ Club” ~ ~ ~ ~ 29
Part Four:
The Riddles of the Male Species ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 49
Part Five:
Warning Labels and Survival Tips~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 67
Part Six:
Training Courses Available for Men ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 93
Part Seven:
Hope for the Future ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 99
Afterword
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page a7
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page a8
Part One:
In the Beginning
1
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 1
2
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Man to God: Why did you make
woman so beautiful?
God to Man:
So you would
love her.
Man to God: But, God, why did you
make her so dumb?
God to Man:
So she would
love you.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 2
3
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
God
created
man
before creating
woman
.
But
doesn’t
every
artist
need
a
rough
draft
before creating a
masterpiece
?
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 3
4
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Word Origins of the Major Problems
of Women:
MENstruation
MENopause
MENtal breakdown
“GUY”necology
“HIM”morrhoids
And they say it’s all in our heads!
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 4
5
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Men are like fine wine. They
start out as grapes, and it’s
our job to stomp them and
keep them in the dark until
they mature.
If we’re lucky, they’ll turn into
something we’d like to have
dinner with sometime.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 5
6
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
This one’s an oldie, but a “goodie”:
A husband, proving to his wife that
women talk more than men do, showed
her a study that indicated that men use
on average only 15,000 words per day.
Women, he said, use 30,000 words a
day—proving that women talk more.
His wife thought about this for a while,
then explained the reason for the
difference.
“Women use twice as many words as
men because they have to constantly
repeat everything they say,” she said.
“What?” he said.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 6
7
Part Two:
Getting to Know Men
as They Really Are
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 7
8
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Men are like computers…
hard to figure out.
They never seem to have enough memory.
They also lose files and re-config constantly.
We need a manual to figure them out,
but usually even the manual doesn’t make
sense.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 8
9
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Men are like coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take
them anywhere.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 9
10
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Men are like chocolate bars—
sweet and smooth.
But they usually just head right down to
your hips.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 10
11
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Men are like coffee:
The best ones are rich, warm and can
keep you up all night long!
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 11
12
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Men are like laxatives…
they can irritate the
crap out of you!
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 12
13
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Men are like horoscopes:
They always tell you what to do and are
usually wrong.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 13
14
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Men are like plungers:
They spend most of their lives in a hard-
ware store or the bathroom.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 14
15
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Men are like cement:
After getting laid, they take a long time to
get hard.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 15
16
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
How are men like lawn-mowers?
They are hard to get started, emit foul
smells and don’t work half of the time.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 16
17
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Why do men find it difficult to
make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 17
18
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
What’s the difference between
men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 18
19
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Why are men like tile floors?
If you lay them right the first time, you can
walk all over them for years.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 19
20
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
How many men does it take to
change a toilet paper roll?
We don’t know; it hasn’t happened yet!
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 20
21
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
How is a man like a snowstorm?
You never know when he’s coming, how
many inches you’ll get or how long it
will last.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 21
22
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
What should you give a man
who’s got everything?
Try a woman who will show him how to
work it.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 22
23
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
How does a man show he’s
planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 23
24
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
What’s the difference between
a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to
see you.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 24
25
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
What do you call a man with
half a brain?
Gifted.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 25
26
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Why is it hard for women to
find men who are sensitive,
caring and good-looking?
Because those men already have
boyfriends.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 26
27
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Single
women complain that
all
the
good
men are married.
Married
women complain that their
men
are
lousy
husbands.
Confirmation
that there is
no
such thing
as a
good
man!
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 27
28
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 28
29
Part Three:
A Peek Inside the
“Good Old Boys’ Club”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 29
30
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
We have always known that men have
a private support group that helps
them stay, well…what they are. So, we
tracked down a “good old boys’ club”
meeting, and here’s what we heard the
men pledge:
“Because I’m a guy, I must hold the televi-
sion remote control in my hand while I’m
watching TV. If the thing has been mis-
placed, I’ll miss a whole show looking for
it—though I may be able to survive by
holding a calculator.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 30
31
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, when I lock my keys in
the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes
hanger and ignore my woman’s suggestions
that we call a road service until long after
hypothermia has set in. When the car isn’t
running well, I will pop the hood and stare
at the engine as if I know what I’m looking
at. If another guy shows up, one of us will
say to the other, ‘I used to be able to fix
these things, but now with all these com-
puters and everything, I wouldn’t know
where to start.’ We will then drink beer.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 31
32
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, when I catch a cold, or
believe in my mind that I am sick, I will
need someone to bring me soup and take
care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
A woman won’t get as sick as I do, so I
won’t return the favor and will, in fact,
ignore my woman’s need for attention
during her so-called illness or simply tell
her to ‘get over it.’”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 32
33
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I cannot be relied upon
to purchase basic groceries such as milk or
bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like cumin or tofu. For all I know,
these things are one and the same. Also, I
will never, ever, under ANY circumstances
buy any feminine hygiene product for my
woman. It’s bad enough I have to live with
PMS.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 33
34
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, when one of the appli-
ances stops working, I will insist on taking
it apart, despite evidence that this will just
cost me twice as much once the repair
person shows up and has to put it all back
together again.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 34
35
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I won’t think we are
lost—and, no, I won’t think we should
stop and ask someone for directions. How
the heck will some stranger know where
we’re going?” (In the future, GPS tracking
systems will be standard on all cars and
trucks for men!)
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 35
36
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, there is no need to ask
me what I’m thinking about. The answer is
always either sex or sports. I will have to
make up something else when you insist on
asking, so just don’t ask.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 36
37
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I do not want to visit
your mother, or have your mother come
visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or
think about her any more than I have to.
Whatever you got her for Mother’s Day is
fine—I don’t need to see it. (“Oh, and, by
the way, did you remember to pick up
something for my mom, too?”)
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 37
38
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I am capable of
announcing, ‘One more beer and I really
have to go’ and mean it every time I say
it—even when one bar closes and my bud-
dies and I have to hunt down another one.
I will find it increasingly hilarious to have
my friends call you to tell you I’ll be home
soon. No, I won’t understand why you
threw my clothes in the front yard—what’s
the connection?”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 38
39
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I will take out a second
mortgage on the house so I can purchase a
“toy” for myself—boat, car, motorcycle,
etc. But don’t expect me to spring for
something which you might need, like a
new washer & dryer or a new oven or
microwave.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 39
40
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, you don’t have to ask
me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if
you’re crying at the end of it, I’m not.
There’s an even better chance that you’ll
have to wake me up once the movie is
over.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 40
41
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, yes, I have to turn up
the radio when it’s Bruce Springsteen or
Jim Morrison—and yes, I will have to tell
you every single time about how Bruce
has his picture on the cover of Time mag-
azine and Newsweek the same day—or
how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and
everyone visits his grave. I expect you to
act every time as if you’re hearing this for
the first time.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 41
42
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I will always think what
you’re wearing is ‘Fine.’ I thought what you
were wearing five minutes ago was fine, and
that either pair of shoes is fine, too. ‘Fine,
fine, fine.’ Your hosiery is fine. Your lipstick
looks fine. Your earrings are fine. Now
leave me alone. I’m watching the game.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 42
43
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I will share in the house-
work. You do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning and the dishes. I’ll do the rest.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 43
44
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I will not volunteer to
call and arrange for a babysitter or to pick
up the babysitter. That is your responsibil-
ity. Whenever we come home after an
evening out, and because I am a guy, I will
allow you the privilege of driving the
babysitter back home.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 44
45
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I will not call off “sick”
when one of our children is ill. That is your
responsibility. In addition, I will not, under
any circumstances, cancel a round of golf or
make a later tee time should you or one of
our children become ill.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 45
46
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
“Because I’m a guy, I do not believe in
going to the dry cleaners to drop off
and/or to pick up my shirts. That is your
responsibility. And because I am a guy, I
prefer to save money by having you wash
and iron my shirts.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 46
47
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
“All of these things I do solemnly swear, as
long as I shall remain a man.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 47
48
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 48
49
Part Four:
Riddles of the Male Species
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 49
50
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Question:
What is the difference
between men and women?
Answer:
A woman wants one man to
satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman
to satisfy his one need.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 50
51
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Question:
What’s the best way to kill
a man?
Answer:
Put a naked blonde and a
six-pack of beer in front of
him, then tell him he can
only have ONE.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 51
52
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Question:
How does a man keep
his youth?
Answer:
By giving her money,
diamonds and luxury cars.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 52
53
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Question:
Why do men like BMWs?
Answer:
They can spell it.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 53
54
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Question:
Why would women be bet-
ter off if men treated them
like cars?
Answer:
At least then they would get
a little attention every six
months or 10,000 miles—
whichever came first.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 54
55
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Question:
Why do men whistle when
they’re sitting on the toilet?
Answer:
Because it helps them
remember which end they
need to wipe.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 55
56
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Question:
How do you keep your hus-
band from reading your
e-mail?
Answer:
Rename the mail folder
“Instruction Manuals.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 56
57
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Question:
What’s the difference
between a man and E.T.?
Answer:
E.T. phoned home.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 57
58
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Question:
Why is food better than
a man?
Answer:
Because you don’t have to
wait an hour for seconds.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 58
59
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Question:
Why do men like frozen
dinners?
Answer:
They like being able to both
eat and make love in less
than five minutes.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 59
60
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Question:
How are men like noodles?
Answer:
They’re always in hot water,
they lack taste and they
need dough.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 60
61
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Question:
Why are men like popcorn
and Chinese food?
Answer:
They satisfy you, but only
for a little while.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 61
62
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Question:
Why are men like blenders?
Answer:
You need one, but you’re
not quite sure why.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 62
63
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Question:
How are men and spray
paint alike?
Answer:
One squeeze and they’re all
over you.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 63
64
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Question:
Why do so many women
fake orgasms?
Answer:
Because so many men fake
foreplay.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 64
65
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Question:
What is the difference
between men and pigs?
Answer:
Pigs don’t turn into men
when they drink.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 65
66
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Parting Thought:
Diamonds are a girl’s best friends.
Dogs are a man’s best friends.
Which is the dumber sex?
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 66
67
Part Five:
Warning Labels and
Survival Tips
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 67
68
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
He’s Not the Relationship
Kind If:
Your telephone number is not pro-
grammed into his speed dial at his home
or office.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 68
69
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
The pictures
you gave him of yourself are
nowhere
to be found in his
apartment
or
office
. However, the
beautiful photo
frames you also gave him are now housing
pictures of his
boat
,
car
and
buddies
.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 69
70
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
You catch him
singing
the lyrics to
Shalimar’s
“Second Time Around.”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 70
71
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
He sends
“his” mother
roses on
“her”
birthday
, but seems to
forget
that
you
were even
born
.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 71
72
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
He’s having
lunch
regularly with your
best
friend
.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 72
73
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
He
invites
you to a business conference or
staff party—
at your expense
.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 73
74
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
The man in the hotel lobby says,
“Your usual room,
Mr. ____?”
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 74
75
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
You find a
bra
in your bed—and it
isn’t
yours.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 75
76
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 76
…And now, here are the
survival tips
77
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 77
78
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Survival tip #1:
When you get up in the morning, do it
cautiously. The mood for the day is deter-
mined by the male in the house. If he
wakes up in a bad mood, step carefully.
Don’t forget that you aren’t permitted to
have mood swings yourself—these will
always lead to PMS-bashing.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 78
79
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Survival tip #2:
Always be understanding—but don’t
expect HIM to understand anything, espe-
cially if it pertains to anything, well, emo-
tional. Call your best girlfriend before he
attempts to “solve” your problem.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 79
80
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Survival tip #3:
Never confront a male about anything. This
will undoubtedly cause him to retreat into
his cave. However, should you need rest
and relaxation, a confrontation will do
the trick.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 80
81
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Survival tip #4:
Always carry extra singles when going to
the airport. Your male companion will
likely announce, once you’re there, that
he doesn’t know whether or not to tip
the porter—and he doesn’t have change,
anyway. Deal with it.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 81
82
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Survival tip #5:
Master the art of being able to see
through the refrigerator to be able to tell
whether your male companion has put the
milk carton back in empty. Chances are, he
has—for the fortieth time. Learn to do
this with the freezer as well—it’s a safe bet
the ice cube trays are empty, too.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 82
83
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Survival tip #6:
Take Clairvoyance 101 at your local adult
education center.You’ll need this course to
be able to read his mind—which you will
be expected to do ad nauseum.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 83
84
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Survival tip #7:
Remember to apologize in advance for
everything that may happen in the course
of the day—even though you will have
nothing to do with any of it. Chances are,
he’ll blame you anyway. It couldn’t possibly
be his fault.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 84
85
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Survival tip #8:
Make your man think everything is his
idea. Then compliment him on a job
well done!
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 85
86
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Survival tip #9:
Suggest that your minister hold church
services on the 19th green. His attendance
will improve 100 percent.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 86
87
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Survival tip #10:
Become well-versed in sports jargon.
Bookmark http://www.espn.com on your
computer. This will undoubtedly impress
him to no end.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 87
88
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Survival tip #11:
Find a laundry service that uses extra
starch in his shirts. This will ensure sup-
port as the ego inflates the head.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 88
89
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Survival tip #12:
Keep a running list of possible excuses
for why he couldn’t be with your family
this time. Be sure not to use the same
one twice.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 89
90
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Survival tip #13:
Always check your credit card statement
before complimenting him on those nice
flowers he sent you. He might have
charged them to you!
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 90
91
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Survival tip #14:
Never forget all the days that are special
to you. He’ll expect you to remember
them—because he cannot.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 91
92
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 92
93
Part Six:
Training Courses for Men
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 93
94
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Training Courses Now Available for Men
Introduction to Common
Household Objects,
Part I: The Mop
Introduction to Common Household
Objects, Part Two: The Sponge
Advanced Dressing Up:
Beyond Weddings and Funerals
Refrigerator Forensics:
Identifying and Removing Half-Eaten
Objects
Design Pattern or Splatter Stain?
You Can Tell the Difference
Trash Economics:
If It’s Empty, You Can Throw It Away
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 94
95
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Accepting Loss:
If The Milk Has Expired, It Must
Be Removed
Supermarket Purchasing:
Not Just for Women—and Not Just Beer
and Chips
Recycling 101:
Boxes That Electronics Came In
Advanced Recycling:
Styrofoam That Came in The Boxes
That Electronics Came In
Bathroom Etiquette 101:
How to Remove Beard Clippings From
the Sink
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 95
96
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Bathroom Etiquette,
Intermediate Level:
Let’s Wash Towels!
Advanced Bathroom Etiquette:
Five Easy Ways to Tell When You’re Out
of Toilet Paper
Philanthropy 101:
How to Donate All of Those Old Clothes
You’ve Been Keeping (and, for Heaven’s
Sake, wearing). Note: Must complete the
required introductory course: Retro, or
Just Plain Hideous?
Romance:
More Than Just a Cable Channel
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 96
97
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Advanced Dining:
Beyond Pizza Hut
Film Criticism 101:
Movie Rentals Outside of the
Action/Adventure Category
Auto Mechanics 101:
Sometimes Empty Means Empty
Listening Skills:
Beyond Commercials and Half-time
Yours, Mine and Ours:
The Sharing of The Remote Control
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 97
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 92
99
Part Seven:
Hope For the Future
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 99
100
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 100
101
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 101
102
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 102
103
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
han ted Ev enings Dis enc ha nte d Ev en ings Disench ant ed Eve nin gs Disench anted E ve ni ng
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 103
104
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 104
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e nin gs D isench ante d Eveni ngs Dise nch anted Eve ni ng s Di senc hant ed Evenings D isen c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
E
v
e
n
in
g
s
D
is
e
n
c
h
a
n
te
d
Ev
en
in
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
dE
ve
nin
gs
Dis
en
ch
an
te
d
Afterword
We hope you’ve enjoyed our special insights into the
world of men. In the interest of fairness to our male
friends, we are currently working on a sequel aimed
at women called “PMS Mornings.”
If you have stories, jokes or short anecdotes you’d
like to submit for this book, e-mail us at
barb@disenchantedevenings.com (Barb Ewing) or
maria@disenchantedevenings.com (Maria Sude) and
we’ll contact you if we’re interested.
disenchanted layout 2–29–00 7:31 AM Page 98
Wyszukiwarka
Podobne podstrony:
Disenchanted Evenings A Girlfriend to Girlfriend Survival Guide for Coping with the Male Species
AMACOM, A Survival Guide for Working With Bad Bosses Dealing With Bullies, Idiots, Back stabber
Coping a survival guide for people with Marc Segar
AMACOM, A Survival Guide for Working With Bad Bosses Dealing With Bullies, Idiots, Back stabbers, A
A Survival Guide For People With Asperger Syndrome (Marc Segar, 1997)
Jose Arguelles Survival Guide for the Road to 2012
Going 3D Survival Guide for 2D CAD Users
anonymous survival guide for citizens in a revolution
Survival Guide For Psychotherapy, 2006
Harvey C Parker, Problem Solver Guide for Students with ADHD Ready to Use Interventions for Elementa
How to Care for a Cancer Real Life Guidance on How to Get Along and be Friends with the Fourth Sign
Overview and Guide for Wiccans in the Military
The word to Brothers and Sisters, Protestants filled with the Holy Spirit
Antisocial Guide To Horror Film The Essential Guide For Low Bud (2)
06 User Guide for Artlantis Studio and Artlantis Render Export Add ons
Captain Dave's Survival Guide
więcej podobnych podstron