Completely Inappropriate - Section I

By Teg


Beginning, Next Section
Chapter One

Posted on Sunday, 29 October 2006

The door to the Netherfield library opened, Darcy striding into the room with determination. He pushed the door closed behind him but it failed to latch, standing slightly ajar. He did not notice. His mind was reeling from the activities in the ballroom.

How could such a woman be the mother of Elizabeth! It is incomprehensible!

He paced the floor from window to desk, back and forth, until frustration reached its peak and he collapsed into a chair. Letting his head fall into his hands, Darcy silently bemoaned the unfairness of it all.

Why must she be the daughter of a nobody? How could the most suitable woman I?ve ever met be in such an unsuitable situation with no connections and no fortune? And such sisters!

He laid his head back, staring at the ceiling high above him. For some moments he continued to look upward, seeing nothing but the vision of Elizabeth Bennet in all her intoxicating beauty. The swishing of the door startled him almost enough to make him leap from the chair but at the last second the sight of the lady who entered kept him pinned in his place.

Elizabeth walked slowly into the library, her thoughts not on the limited selection of books which lined the shelves, but somewhere outside the room. Her brow was lined in a frown, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

How could my mother make such a scene! And in front of Mr. Darcy, too! It is too humiliating; my sisters? behaviour too mortifying!

Darcy sat perfectly still. He closed his eyes until the merest slits allowed him to observe the lady?s movement about the room.

If I appear asleep she may be persuaded that she can escape without being seen and be spared embarrassment. He suppressed the further notion that the quieter he was, the longer it may be until she noticed his figure, giving him more time to admire hers.

It was a good plan, for Miss Bennet began to pace in front of the bookshelves. Within moments, her concentration was disturbed by an irritation too intense to ignore. She came to a halt in front of the fire, briefly glanced toward the door and, satisfied that it was closed, bent down to catch the hem of her skirts in her hands.

Darcy?s eyes flew open as Elizabeth raised her skirt and petticoats to reveal her dainty shoes, delicate ankles and shapely lower legs. With meticulous care she slipped off her shoe and placed one foot upon the edge of the grating, then began to slowly pull at her stocking, beginning at the toe and working her way up the length of her leg.

Darcy felt his jaw hanging open and prayed that the moan he?d heard was in his mind and hadn?t escaped his throat. As Elizabeth appeared undisturbed, he relaxed slightly, but then realised the impropriety of continuing to observe. Closing his eyes, however, was no better. Behind the lids the vision of Miss Bennet?s bare limbs persisted. Once again he opened them just enough to see but hopefully still appear to be asleep.

Elizabeth clipped the last garter into place and replaced her shoe. Darcy began to breathe again until she raised the other leg and the ritual was repeated.

The fire flickering behind her cast a warm glow on Elizabeth?s skin. She rubbed one hand up the back of her calf, easing a cramped muscle then stretched her leg, wiggling her toes. She dared not indulge for long in case someone should come looking for her. Sighing, she put her shoes on and let her skirts fall back into place around her.

Her mind lightened of a burden, Elizabeth shook her head, resigned to returning to the ballroom and enduring the rest of the evening. She was so absorbed in her own distressful thoughts that it was a good ten minutes before her perambulations brought her so close to Darcy?s chair that she very nearly sat down in it without looking. At the last possible moment she seemed to notice that something was amiss and gave a startled squeak, quickly covering her mouth with one hand.

She must have held her breath, watching him, for at least two minutes, during which time Darcy feared he would be discovered. The look on her face was enchanting. If his breathing did not give him away, other parts of his body might.

At last Miss Bennet took a step backward. She seemed about to turn to leave when her expression changed to one of puzzlement, or perhaps curiosity. She studied Darcy, moving closer. With each step her eyes roamed across his form. A small smile, a smirk, then her eyes widened and a blush suffused her cheeks. She was by this time so close that Darcy could reach out to grasp her hands.

?Oh!? she cried, struggling to maintain her balance.

Darcy left his seat, rising to stand in front of her, still holding her hands and drawing her toward him to counteract her backward motion. ?Forgive me for startling you, Miss Bennet.?

Her eyes widened even more with his mouth so near her own. ?It is entirely my own fault M.. Mr. Darcy.? She made a half-hearted attempt to free her hands.

?Are you quite safe?? he asked. As one corner of his mouth rose in a sly grin, he added, ?You are not in any danger of falling??

She drew in a sharp breath. ?No. I mean yes! I am in no danger... of falling.?

?I see.? His fingers slowly relaxed, although his hands did not completely withdraw their hold. His eyes remained fixed on hers.

Elizabeth?s cheeks were scarlet. She felt heat radiating from Darcy?s body and her body growing warm in response. She had no explanation for the sudden weakness in her knees nor the failure of her lips to form words of protest. If he did not step away soon, she knew her legs would give way and leave her in a most undignified situation.

?Miss Bennet.?

His voice sounded very far away.

?Are you quite alright??

She felt her legs go, Darcy?s arms supporting her, and then she was looking up into his face, her lips parting soundlessly.

He was powerless to resist. Darcy?s mouth lowered to meet hers, the taste of her kiss sweet and warm. Lost in the glory of it, recollection returned with a suddenness that set them both scrambling to resume more respectful positions.

Elizabeth busied herself with adjusting her skirt and pushing back stray locks of hair while Darcy pulled at the bottom edge of his waistcoat and tugged his breeches into a more comfortable attitude.

?Miss Bennet,? he began when the silence could go on no longer. ?I beg your forgiveness. I have no excuse to offer for my unseemly, ungentlemanlike behaviour.?

Elizabeth blinked, unsure of an appropriate response. ?Well... er... I am not... forgiveness is mine to bestow, Mr. Darcy, though why you think I should I do not know.?

He stared, shocked into silence by her playful smile and the spark in her eyes.

Wondering if her intent had been misunderstood, she said, ?I did not mean that I am unwilling to forgive you, sir.? She suddenly felt very missish and looked away.

Try as he might, Darcy could not banish from his mind the image of her adjusting her stockings. This was of no assistance in formulating a reply capable of redeeming himself.

?I think it is time I return to the ballroom.?

He looked up at that. Seeming about to speak, he then closed his mouth, his lips pressed together. As Elizabeth turned away Darcy called out, ?Miss Bennet?? She paused, glancing back at him. ?I apologise for offending you.?

One of her eyebrows arched in an impertinent question. Elizabeth wondered for which, or how many of his offenses the apology was meant. ?Should I sketch your character now, Mr. Darcy??

?I beg you, no!? he quickly replied with some anxiety. Whether she judged him contemptible for his dealings with Wickham, or a rake for his dealings with her.... was there any significant difference in the merit of either?

Again her eyebrow questioned him. ?I fear my own character might suffer as well. I shudder to think what your opinion of me must be now.?

Darcy considered that she did not look in the least alarmed but rather amused. The delicious flirtation in her manner excited him. ?Suffer? I assure you, Miss Bennet,? he said, his voice taking on a low, caressing timbre. ?I can imagine no lady who could approach the level of respect I have for you.? He was astonished at her expression of surprise and confusion. Did my kiss not prove that to her? The thought of demonstrating his feelings once more occurred to him but in his mind he saw her fingers slide up the contours of her leg and that image alone put him in danger.

?Mr. Darcy, I...? She left the comment unfinished, as if even she did not know what she was about to say.

?Shall I escort you back to the hall or would you prefer to go out first, so that we are not seen together??

Elizabeth looked at the gentleman as if she?d never met him before. Something inside of her whispered that another kiss would be nice before she left but a second voice, sounding uncannily like her sister Mary, reproved the notion as shockingly wanton. ?I?m not sure,? was what issued from her mouth, in answer to his question or her conscience wasn?t certain. It did not help matters that he was looking at her rather oddly.

?You appear a bit unsteady, Elizabeth.?

Did he just call me Elizabeth? She had no objection when he took her arm.

?I think some fresh air may help.?

A kiss would help more. She blushed with the thought and allowed Darcy to lead her through the terrace doors instead of to the hallway.

The air had a decided chill. It was November after all. Elizabeth shivered. Darcy slipped off his coat, laying it across her shoulders, still warm from the heat of his body. She sighed, a soft moan accompanying the release of air. Darcy stirred beside her and she quickly glanced at him.

Her eyes were drawn to the impeccable knot at his throat, an irrational urge to see the silk untied. How odd! she thought. Earlier this evening I could easily have contemplated strangling him with it. The pure white, flawless quality of his shirt was a vivid reminder of the man?s wealth and status, just as the polished leather dancing shoes, fine hose and the cut of his formal breeches showed off his.....

Abruptly, she forced her eyes to focus higher, only to discover him watching her. ?Thank you,? she finally said.

He dipped his head in acknowledgement of her words. ?The honour is mine,? he said.

Amused, Elizabeth tilted her chin upward and thought the possibility of a kiss likely, when there came the sound of voices further along the terrace and coming closer.

Of the same mind, they said in unison, ?Perhaps we should go in now.?

Elizabeth laughed lightly, releasing Darcy?s arm and preceding him into the library. ?I believe I shall return to my family now, Mr. Darcy,? she announced, handing him his jacket. ?Thank you... very much.?

He bowed low, the jacket draped over one arm, and watched her leave. When she was gone he crossed to the only mirror in the room and inspected his appearance. Apart from a brightness in his eyes and flush in his face, there wasn?t anything remarkable to be seen. One thing did bother him, though.

Cursed cutaway coat! How am I to get through the rest of the evening when all I can see is her legs... those beautiful legs!


Chapter Two

Posted on Sunday, 5 November 2006

Relieved that her mother hadn?t noted her absence, Elizabeth went directly to the punch bowl to pour herself a glass of the cool refreshment. She would not draw attention to herself by fanning her flushed face but could rely on the effects of the punch to explain the colour which overspread her skin?s surface.

Charlotte joined her, casting a curious glance at her friend and observing, ?Mr. Darcy has just entered the room and I dare say he appears a trifle out of sorts. Well, how about that! I?m sure he looked over the room, took careful note of our location, and has gone in the opposite direction! Lizzy, what on earth have you done to offend him??

?Me?? cried her companion. ?You have a vivid imagination, Charlotte. He was probably looking for someone in particular and discovered her to be in that part of the room.?

?Her??

?Or him. Oh, Charlotte, does it matter? There. He?s speaking with Miss Bingley, proving me correct.?

Darcy was, indeed, in the company of Miss Bingley, although conversation was not edifying. On the contrary, Darcy was having difficulty keeping his attention on the lady?s droning voice. The entire length of her monologue was spent in denigrating the local ladies, particularly Bennets, while simultaneously picking apart an arrangement of flowers on the table in front of her. Darcy heard none of her diatribe as the dismantling of the bouquet was slowly revealing a shapely vase which remarkably resembled the contours of Miss Elizabeth?s ?.

?You are perfectly right,? he quickly said, instantly bringing his mind to bear on Miss Bingley?s unappealing voice. If anything could squelch these feelings that kept arising, then it would undoubtedly be the temptations that only Caroline could provide.

?Oh, I knew you would see it my way, Mr. Darcy!? Her voice was just what he had hoped, high pitched and penetrating, sending every thought of desire for Miss Bennet from his head. ?Now, once Charles has left for town tomorrow we shall pack everything up and follow him directly. It won?t take you a minute to persuade him to stay there, I?m sure.?

He was undecided whether listening to her speak had been a good decision or bad, now that his mind was once again brought back to considering his friend?s obvious attentions to Miss Bennet. Darcy glanced around the room, trying to locate Bingley among the various bodies. Bodies... legs... Miss Bennet... Miss Bennet?s legs.... ?Excuse me.? Darcy hastily bowed and fled.

The direction he chose brought him perilously close to Elizabeth Bennet and so Darcy sought another route... which brought him face to face with her mother.

?Mr. Darcy!? The lady eyed him warily.

He bowed politely. ?I beg your pardon, Mrs. Bennet. Forgive my clumsiness.?

She stared at him, disbelief clearly written on her face. ?It is quite alright, sir,? she replied in wonderment.

Bowing again, Darcy left her to her excited chatter with Lady Lucas and set off across the room once more. Bingley appeared suddenly, giving his friend an odd look.

?Darcy! I thought you were... well, never mind. Have you seen Miss Bennet??

Seen her! By God, yes I?ve seen her! Darcy thought before collecting himself. ?Miss Jane Bennet?? he asked, then cleared his throat for his voice sounded strangely weak. ?Of course, she may be over there but?.? He turned to indicate Elizabeth?s location, belatedly realising that he hadn?t actually noticed who was near when he?d been forced to distance himself earlier. ?Oh, it is Miss Lucas. Tell me, Bingley, how did you come to lose her?? Darcy was reminded yet again of Sir William?s allusions when interrupting his time in the dance with Elizabeth and found it absurdly amusing that Bingley should let the lady out of his sight given the power of his feelings.

?I stepped out to... um... get something and, well, obviously she has moved to another room.? Bingley?s expression became smug. ?Anyway, I have no need to be embarrassed.?

?No, you don?t,? his friend calmly replied. ?The dancing will recommence soon, I expect. Your guests seem satisfied so you may consider the ball a success.?

?Only if I see you dancing again,? laughed Bingley. ?But I know how likely that would be! I?m going to find Jane? Miss Bennet.? He gave his friend one last curious look and then he was gone.

Darcy puzzled for some time on Bingley?s odd behaviour. It provided a diversion from his mind?s preferred subject. A renewed consideration of Sir William?s notions, anticipation of a marriage between Bingley and Jane Bennet, the opportunity to dance again with Elizabeth, to be in her presence for hours... perchance to steal another k ?.

?Mr. Darcy!?

He came back to the present with a start. ?Miss... Bennet!? He blinked several times to clear his thoughts.

Lydia pursed her lips, plainly dissatisfied and wishing to say something. ?The dancing is about to start again.? When he did not reply she sighed melodramatically and said, ?You are standing in the way, Mr. Darcy.?

He looked about them, now seeing the various couples assembling while the musicians were readying their instruments. ?So I am,? he said, looking down at Lydia. ?Thank you for the timely warning.? Immediately Darcy tried to pick out Elizabeth in the crowd but her younger sister was not done with him yet.

?Have you met our cousin, Mr. Collins??

Eyebrows rising, Darcy briefly nodded. ?I have.?

Carefully maintaining her place directly in front of the gentleman and facing him, Lydia lowered her voice so that it carried to only half the room. ?He threatened to dance with us all but so far I have managed to avoid him. Look, Mr. Darcy!? She pointed vaguely somewhere behind her. ?He?s coming for me now, I know it! Won?t you help me??

Darcy stared at her in horror. ?What would you propose I do, Miss Bennet??

?Propose! Oh, how lovely!? she squealed, causing all heads to turn in their direction. ?Of course it may not be so simple, sir.?

?I haven?t the faintest idea what you are talking about.? Anxious to escape her now, Darcy called out to the man who was the cause of his current distress. ?Mr. Collins! Mr. Collins, a word please.?

The parson scurried over, ever the attentive servant. ?How may I serve you, noble sir??

?Your young cousin is desirous of a dance, Mr. Collins. Do find her a suitable partner but not yourself.? Darcy turned to bow to Lydia. ?Excuse me, Miss Bennet. I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening.? He quickly exited the ballroom.

Elizabeth had watched the entire scene from a spot close enough to hear every word that was said. She coloured in mortification for her sister?s ill manners but what puzzled her most was Mr. Darcy himself. What is wrong with the man this evening? Instantly she corrected herself. No, not wrong. There is nothing wrong with him. That?s the problem! He?s doing everything right! She touched her fingers to her lips as if his kiss had not been on her mind continuously since they had parted in the library. Well, that was wrong, but then again.... it felt so right...

In her mind she could see him, asleep in the chair, looking completely at ease and very handsome! Her wrists tingled with the memory of his hands firmly wrapped about them.

Then the kiss!

As if it was happening all over again, Elizabeth tilted her head to allow him easier access to her lips. She could almost feel the heat of his mouth on hers....

?Lizzy, why aren?t you dancing??

She focussed on her father, who was watching her with a quizzical expression. ?I was not asked, Papa,? she replied, hoping her voice was steady.

?With all the officers here? How negligent of them. I should have a word with Colonel Forster if I were you, Lizzy. Shirking their duties, that?s what it is.?

?Oh, Papa. I am not bothered, truly.?

Mr. Bennet leaned closer and winked. ?Do not let your mother hear you say that lest she insist you dance with Mr. Collins again.? When his daughter looked about in alarm he chuckled. ?You are safe for the moment. I believe my cousin is intent on finding Mr. Darcy to confirm the performance of his duty as charged and to seek another mission to demonstrate his usefulness.?

?Poor Mr. Darcy.? Elizabeth could not prevent a smile from forming, although it was not for the reason her father imagined.

?Should I put a word in Mr. Darcy?s ear about your lack of partner?? Elizabeth?s eyes grew wide but Mr. Bennet blithely continued. ?He could send Mr. Collins out to procure one for you. What say you to that, Lizzy??

She tried her best to laugh but the events of the evening had taken a toll. ?I?d just as happily refrain from dancing altogether. My feet are quite worn out.?

?Oh.? He seemed disappointed. ?There is still Mary, however. Yes, I?ll see if I can find my two favourite gentlemen and bring some joy to another of my daughters.?

When he was gone Elizabeth sought out Charlotte Lucas. Conversation with her friend was just what she needed to keep her mind from wandering in inappropriate directions. It would not do to be caught daydreaming again!

With her friend she fell into an easy exchange regarding the merits of fancy dress balls versus country assemblies as they observed the dancing before them.

?I prefer the formal manners of a ball,? stated Charlotte. ?Gentlemen are much better behaved, less likely to take liberties with a lady. There is altogether too much wine and spirits flowing at the assemblies.?

Elizabeth wondered if that was the cause of Mr. Darcy?s more easy manners and familiarity with her. ?It is all merely an act, whichever venue, Charlotte, but real affection is more obvious. Just look at Jane and Mr. Bingley over there. Is it not plain to see how happy they are with one another??

?It is but I fail to understand what that has to do with the subject.?

?It serves to illustrate that whether at a public ball or a private one, there is no disguising real affection. Jane and Mr. Bingley appear the same wherever they meet.? Elizabeth was proud of her argument.

?Interesting,? conceded her friend, ?but applying the same logic, what does this tell us about you and Mr. Darcy??

?Mr. Darcy?? Her heart suddenly racing, Elizabeth attempted to sound unaffected. ?What do you mean??

?Your feelings we need not examine for you have voiced them often enough,? Charlotte explained. ?We have not the privilege of knowing Mr. Darcy?s mind, however.?

?I?d not consider that a privilege!? Thoughts of what had transpired in the library flew through Elizabeth?s mind and she blushed to imagine what the gentleman had been thinking.

?My point is that, strictly from what we may observe, Mr. Darcy looks at you often, and for extended periods. He listens to your conversations without participating.?

?We may conclude that he is rude,? Elizabeth quickly interjected before she felt compelled to blurt out that he had also kissed her without warning.

?He rarely dances yet he singled you out here this evening, and if I?m not mistaken he may do so again.? She inclined her head and Elizabeth followed her gaze to behold Mr. Darcy bearing down on them. There was purpose in his stride, urging her to flee. Before she could no more than form the thought, he was before them, bowing low and preparing to speak.

?May I have the honour of the next dance,? he said, ?Miss Lucas??

Charlotte hid her surprise, accepting gracefully and when the two ladies were left to themselves once more she turned to Elizabeth with astonishment. ?I can no longer trust my own judgement. Mr. Darcy asked me! Oh, Lizzy, how do I look? Is my hair tidy? Thank goodness I didn?t spill anything on my gown at dinner.?

Elizabeth could only stare, dumbfounded by the change in her friend?s behaviour. When the gentleman returned to claim his partner she could not resist sending a wounded look his way and felt some small measure of satisfaction in his response. He seemed truly disconcerted.

Once the dance was underway, Charlotte seized her chance to monopolise Mr. Darcy?s attention. While she had never imagined herself likely to become the object of any superior gentleman?s interest, it had not prevented her from imagining how to take advantage should such an opportunity ever present itself.

?Mr. Bingley has succeeded in pleasing many people this evening. His generosity is very much appreciated.?

For a moment Darcy appeared perplexed, as if he?d not considered the Meryton inhabitants capable of such an outlook, but then his eyes focussed on a point behind Charlotte and he smiled as he replied, ?I, too, have learned to be thankful for my friend?s natural aptitude for pleasing others.?

Charlotte laughed, thinking he had made some kind of jest. ?It is a pity we cannot all be so easily popular but I suppose some of us must be serious to make up the difference.?

Somewhat confused, Darcy considered her words. ?You do not mean yourself, surely? I have frequently observed you laughing with your friend, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. You cannot claim to have such a serious disposition.?

?Unlike yourself, sir?? Despite her smile Charlotte was a little put out by his mention of Elizabeth. ?But I must admit to being a very serious subject, Mr. Darcy, even though I do occasionally laugh.?

His smile returned. ?Miss Lucas, I assure you that I am not so severe as some may suggest. There are many subjects which arouse my amusement.?

?Pray tell, what might those be? I am frequently inundated with my friend?s views and sense of humour. No doubt yours is as subtle and quite as witty.? Charlotte immediately reprimanded herself for once more bringing Elizabeth into the conversation.

?Miss Bennet? I cannot claim as fresh a wit as that lady, unfortunately. I must rely upon my cool manner and frigid gaze to keep others at bay.? The smile he wore removed any hint of offense in his words. Darcy also appeared to be fixated on a point beyond Charlotte?s left shoulder. The lady attempted to turn her head, to see what held his attention, but at her first move his gaze returned to his partner. ?You see how my natural talent for alienating people can amuse, can you not??

Charlotte shook her head rapidly, completely confused.

He heaved a melodramatic sigh. ?I have not the talent to properly ?.?

She was left wondering what he was going to reveal when they were interrupted by her father.

?Such a delightful evening it has been, don?t you agree Mr. Darcy? I must say it is quite the compliment to see you dancing with my daughter. Charlotte, you look lovely, isn?t that so?? Sir William beamed at the younger gentleman.

His daughter disguised her cringe of horror with a ladylike wave of her hand in front of her face.

Darcy quickly enquired as to her health. ?Are you well, Miss Lucas? Perhaps it is a trifle too warm in here.? He began to lead her from the other dancers. Charlotte hoped for a suggestion to step outside; oh, how wonderful it might be for such an opportunity! She was heavily disappointed when Darcy stationed her in a nearby chair and said, ?Let me bring you a glass of something cool, Miss Lucas.? Then he was gone just as quickly.

Charlotte huffed and her eyes scanned the room in search of her father?s figure, wondering if she had enough needles left to stick in the doll she had fashioned in his likeness.


Chapter Three

Posted on Sunday, 12 November 2006

Bingley was surprised to see his friend in the breakfast room the next morning. He had not expected company as the ball had lasted into the early morning hours. ?What are you doing up so early, Darcy? You didn?t have to see me off.?

?If you insist on leaving at this hour even after spending half the night dancing,? replied his friend with good humour, ?how could I do any less than to bid you a safe trip? I do hope you are taking a carriage and not thinking of riding.?

?Well, no. I had actually planned to ride so that I may travel more quickly.? Bingley looked a bit puzzled. ?Why do you object??

?Surely you did not get enough rest to attempt such a journey,? explained Darcy. ?Not even I would be so... rash.?

?You, rash?? Bingley laughed. ?Now you are jesting!?

?I am not a stranger to impulsive behaviour, believe it or not.? Darcy appeared a bit regretful.

?Hmm.. Well, yes, perhaps I wasn?t entirely fair.? He seemed to contemplate something for a moment. ?You?ll be staying on for a while, won?t you? I hope to return tomorrow, or the day after at the latest.?

?Your business can be concluded in such a short time??

A satisfied grin spread across the younger man?s face. ?I have more pressing business awaiting me here.?

?Oh, I see. Miss Bennet.? Darcy tried not to let his concern show.

?Yes,? sighed Bingley. ?Miss Bennet.?

?Bingley,? began Darcy, ?are you sure about this young woman??

?What do you mean??

?Her family is not of a standing that would help to improve your own. Considering the behaviour of some, there is little reason to suppose even ?.?

Bingley interrupted, irritated. ?Here, here! Is it really necessary to criticise like that? I?m in love with Jane, not .....?

?Ahhh,? nodded his friend. ?How many times have I heard that? You are in love.?

?Well, I am.? Bingley?s expression was very nearly a pout. ?This time is different.?

?I?ve heard that before, too. The last three, I believe. Was it Miss Simpson? Then Miss Anderson and lastly, Miss ...?

?Thompson,? finished Bingley with a flush in his cheeks. ?But I really mean it this time!?

?Really.? Darcy narrowed his gaze and raised one eyebrow, an expression that generally managed to intimidate lesser beings. ?And what of Miss Bennet? Have you given any thought to what she is thinking??

?Is that necessary? I mean... I?m sure she feels the same about me as I do about her.?

?Excellent! You may both fall madly in love for a brief time, enjoy it and then move on to other interests when you become bored.? Darcy waved one hand dismissively. ?You really must stop this sort of thing, Bingley. It?s becoming quite tedious.?

Bingley puffed out his chest, prepared to argue. Then he seemed to deflate. ?This time I won?t move on,? he said, quietly.

Darcy blinked. Twice. ?This is unprecedented. You do realise that talk has already begun about you marrying Miss Bennet.?

?Has it?? cried Bingley, excited by the idea of being an object of such speculation.

?Bingley, do pay attention! You have created the impression that you are interested in marrying this young woman. Her family, friends and neighbours anticipate it. You must set the record straight one way or another.?

?Should I do so immediately?? He hesitated, unclear of precisely what Darcy expected of him.

Horrified, Darcy quickly refuted that plan and firmly said, ?I think you should stay a while in town. Just long enough to see if this love of yours dwindles,? he added when Bingley began to object. ?You have nothing to lose. If your feelings are true then you may return and resume your attentions to Miss Bennet.?

?But what if some other suitor attaches himself to her in my absence!? cried his friend.

?Come now, Bingley! If your opinion of the lady?s feelings is so poor then you had best discard any notions of matrimony!?

Properly chastised, Bingley fell silent, contemplating his plate and pushing the eggs about with his fork. Darcy watched him, his own thoughts soon wandering with a curiosity regarding another young lady?s activities at that moment. She was likely still abed, he concluded with a shiver of excitement, then promptly reprimanded himself for the thought. Stealing a glance at Bingley, still morosely picking at his food, Darcy was relieved to have escaped notice. Seeing his friend?s less than cheerful countenance, however, he exerted himself to speak. ?Do not distress yourself. Take your time and think about what I said. Decisions such as this are not to be rushed.?

?Thank you. I shall consider your advice.? Pushing his plate away, Bingley brought his coffee to his mouth, muttering over the rim before taking a sip. ?But God help me if I?m still single when I?m your age.?

Miss Bingley found Mr. Darcy, after an extensive search, enjoying a book in the quiet solitude of the library. Her entrance was calculated to draw attention, although it was not the kind she sought. Throwing herself into the chair closest to the room?s only other occupant, she heaved a weary sigh and said, ?So Charles left as he had planned.?

?Yes,? replied Darcy without looking up from the page.

?I have been thinking,? she said, giving her listener time to pause in his pursuit and attend her. ?I have had quite enough of the country and I suspect that you have as well. If we follow Charles to town, close up the house, it would not be so very difficult to persuade him to stay there.? Miss Bingley?s expression became shrewd. ?This little diversion with Jane Bennet could have a lasting effect if it?s not curtailed. I believe you know what I mean.?

Darcy had listened patiently but now drew a breath to reply. ?You are mistaken, Miss Bingley. I have no immediate desire to leave Netherfield. As for the other matter to which you allude, your brother is aware of my opinions. I have offered my advice. He may choose his own direction.?

The lady was horrified. ?Oh, surely you don?t mean that! Charles will ruin us all if he marries that girl!?

?I do believe you overestimate the value of your family?s status. It will be neither reduced nor improved by an alliance with the Bennets of Hertfordshire. However, I must point out that your brother?s primary concern is likely to be his own wishes. Should Bingley marry Miss Bennet it would not damage you or your sister in any way.?

This little speech was hardly soothing to the ruffled feathers of Miss Bingley but now she recalled Darcy?s earlier words about not wishing to leave Netherfield and her alarm was further ignited. ?I begin to fear for you now, Mr. Darcy, that your view is perhaps obscured by admiration for a certain pair of fine eyes.?

Darcy raised an icy gaze to quell her flaming temper. ?I understand your overtures of sisterly concern,? he said with distinct purpose, ?but assure you that it is not necessary. I am perfectly capable of determining what presents a danger to myself.?

The lady?s enthusiasm was deflated. She was certain of her suspicions; it was dangerous to allow Darcy to stay any longer in Hertfordshire, near the presence of that country slip of a girl, Eliza Bennet! What could be done about it, though? She was left to plot in silence as Darcy returned his attention to his book.

Speaking of Elizabeth Bennet..... that young lady was having difficulty shaking a persistent feeling that unpleasantness was about to occur. That unpleasantness soon made itself known in the person of her cousin, the Reverend Mr. Collins, as he came slinking into the dining parlour when everyone else was just preparing to leave the room. Elizabeth hurriedly rose from her chair, grabbing hold of Jane?s elbow in a plea for assistance, but Mrs. Bennet was even quicker to grasp Elizabeth?s other arm, pulling her back down into her seat.

?Sit down, Lizzy,? she said between tightly clenched teeth. ?You just listen to what Mr. Collins has to say while I see to... to... a pressing matter with Hill.? She gave Elizabeth a stern glance before closing the door firmly behind her.

Left alone in the room with her cousin, Elizabeth tried to think of something to say that would steer their conversation away from any direction that led to matrimony.

?Did... did you enjoy the ball?? she managed to ask.

?Oh, yes,? was his breathless reply. ?It was most enjoyable and, I might add, the highlight of my evening was the great honour and pleasure which was mine in dancing with you.?

?There were certainly some lively numbers,? she hurriedly said, attempting a distraction.

?Yes!? Collins enthused. ?As little as I am in the habit of practising the art, I did not fail to notice how light you are on your feet, Miss Elizabeth.?

?The neighbourhood does enjoy the more fast paced dances. You will find that every young lady in and around Meryton is an adept.?

?Ah, you do outshine them all, though,? he persisted.

Elizabeth would soon become desperate with Mr. Collins? frustrating manner of turning her every comment back into a compliment to herself. ?Did you have an opportunity to dance with Miss Bingley??

The question surprised him enough that he had to think before replying. ?I must confess I did not. After having danced with all my fair cousins I was quite in need of a rest. Then we sat down to dine and when the dancing recommenced I was honoured with fulfilling Mr. Darcy?s instructions for most of the remaining time.?

?Mr. Darcy?s instructions?? The mere mention of the man?s name caused a fluttering inside her.

Mr. Collins proudly expounded on his assignment. ?There were a number of ladies wishing to dance but many of the gentlemen had lingered in the other rooms. Mr. Darcy, in the same benevolent and compassionate fashion as his aunt, the most gracious and noble Lady Catherine de Bourgh, took it upon himself to see to their needs. He sought me out and directed that I acquire a respectable and trustworthy partner for each of these ladies. It was a task I could not refuse, of course.?

?Of course,? agreed Elizabeth, wondering how much truth there was in his tale. Still, it could keep him away from the prospect of proposing and she was disposed to continue the subject. ?Mr. Darcy is very much like his aunt, then?? Does she go around kissing people without warning?

?Very much so. He is her equal in grace and humility and, from what I observed last night, takes the greatest interest in the welfare of those less fortunate than himself.?

Elizabeth attempted to equate this description with the man she knew as Mr. Darcy. It was proving less difficult than she had first thought, as her mind kept lingering on the memory of his warm lips pressed against her own, and the security of being in his arms when her knees buckled. In fact, her knees felt a bit wobbly at that moment and Elizabeth was tempted to close her eyes in order to more fully appreciate her recollections.

?Which brings me to my point,? Mr. Collins was saying when Elizabeth was once again aware of her surroundings. She listened in horror to her cousin?s embarrassing monologue. That he considered himself encouraged was ridiculous enough, but he also believed in his desirability not only as a husband but as a man! Elizabeth could not help drawing a comparison in her own mind; to be kissed by Mr. Darcy or to be kissed by Mr. Collins. What would any sane woman choose?

He was nearing the end of his speech. Elizabeth grew anxious and in a voice shrill enough to rival her mother?s, cried out, ?What was that??

Mr. Collins immediately stopped speaking, cocking his head on one side and watching her curiously.

?Did you hear it?? she persisted now that the ruse was begun. ?I think it is outside.

?What is outside?? the poor man helplessly asked as Elizabeth left her seat and was about to leave the room. ?What did you hear??

Escape was within reach, her hand on the door?s knob, and Elizabeth said, ?Do not trouble yourself, sir. I am sure it is a trifling matter that I may quickly resolve. Please remain here. I shall not be long.? Before Mr. Collins could form a reply she was gone.

Elizabeth sought the nearest path that would take her the farthest from the house. Her stride was long and quick, putting as much distance as possible between herself and Mr. Collins before the gentleman, or her mother, could realise her intent.

The exercise allowed her plenty of time to think on all that had occurred since she had awakened the previous morning. She had been extremely fortunate to have avoided her cousin?s declarations until this point, and was sadly aware of just how narrowly she had escaped him before his latest attempt. How ironic that thoughts of Mr. Darcy had nearly permitted another man to propose to her!

Stop thinking about him! Elizabeth scolded. Just because he kissed you does not mean that anything has changed. He is still the same man he was before the Ball. She forced herself to think again on Mr. Wickham?s claims of ill treatment at the hands of his old friend. Did a mere kiss change anything? It was not just any kiss! There was something fiery in his eyes, something more than that spark of anger I have occasionally seen when we have argued. Again she had to remind herself that it was a fruitless ambition. No, nothing is to be gained by it. A kiss does not mean marriage. Would I even want to marry him? One does not marry because a kiss has been shared, no matter how it makes one?s insides tingle. Besides, it was only a kiss, not a proposal. How ridiculous these thoughts are! Mr. Darcy would no more want to marry me than I want to marry him!

She continued on her way, determinedly reminding herself of the gentleman?s worst traits to keep from reliving the warm feelings his kiss had engendered.

Darcy quit the house as soon as he could pry himself from Miss Bingley?s grip. He considered a walk about the grounds, not certain that he was quite up to the challenge of an encounter with any locals should he choose to take a ride further afield. A moment later his decision was reversed when he heard Miss Bingley?s voice beyond an open window.

?Louisa, I expect your assistance in this. We must convince Darcy to join Charles in London as soon as possible. Once there, I?m sure we could easily manage to convince Charles to stay. That will prevent any unfortunate incident like an engagement to Jane Bennet and Darcy will be safe from that scheming Eliza.?

?But if you could not persuade him,? replied her sister, ?what makes you think I could do better??

?Were you not listening? I want you to help me. I have a plan.?

Darcy heard no more as he was halfway to the stables to get his horse. While waiting for the groom to finish his job, Darcy anxiously watched the path that led from the house, expecting Miss Bingley to appear at any moment. No sooner was the last buckle fastened and the stirrups in place than Darcy was in the saddle, steering his horse in a direction away from any route which might be taken from the house.

At the first opportunity he slipped into the woods on a well used trail that climbed steadily as it gently wound through the trees. When enough distance had been covered that he was assured of not being heard, Darcy urged his horse to a faster pace, keeping an eye out for an exit to more open ground. He was rewarded in due time, finding himself emerging into a large field of clover and wildflowers. He slowed the horse to a walk, gazing around to get his bearings. The area was unfamiliar but the terrain relatively flat, inviting of a leisurely canter.

The smooth motion of his horse, typical of the animals in his stable, was enough to lull Darcy into a pleasant reflection of the prior evening?s encounter with Miss Bennet in Netherfield?s library. So caught up in this reverie was he that he failed to notice the direction his path lay and when he suddenly felt his horse rise beneath him, his seat leave the saddle and nothing but air was between himself and the ground, he was astonished until his backside met the earth with a resounding thud.


Chapter Four

Posted on Sunday, 19 November 2006

?Mr. Darcy??

?Mmm....?? Her voice was melodic, just what he needed to hear to counteract the spinning sensation in his head.

?Mr. Darcy, are you alright??

He opened his eyes and was delighted to see Miss Bennet?s lovely face peering down at him. ?With such beauty to greet me? I should say I am quite well, Elizabeth.?

She reached out a hand to touch his forehead, an opportunity he could not forsake, bringing his own hands up to take hold of hers and draw her closer. He watched in fascination as her lips parted in surprise mere seconds before he placed his own upon them.

The warmth lingered after the kiss, Darcy?s eyes closing as he rested his head against the grass once more.

?I should slap you for that,? Miss Bennet remarked in a tone far from reproving.

?Yes, you should. Why did you not??

?You have not released your hold on my hands,? she reminded him.

?I beg your pardon?? Darcy?s head came up and his eyes opened with a start. Elizabeth Bennet was on her knees in the grass beside him, in all her glorious beauty, tousled hair and pouting lips.

?You are holding my hands captive, sir.? She spoke with no hint of disapproval but for the faint downturn at the corners of her mouth, something which the gentleman found more inviting than discouraging. ?Are you sure you are not hurt??

?Hurt...? His mind was racing. Which was dream and which was reality? Did I just kiss her or not? ?I fell...?

Miss Bennet bit her lower lip in a gentle attempt to withhold laughter. ?You did. I saw it.?

?How?? His brow creased as he struggled to remember what had transpired. ?The last I recall, I was riding along in an easy canter, thinking about.....? Oh, no... I cannot tell her what I was thinking! Images assaulted his senses; the same images that had apparently caused his inattention in the first place.

?Whatever you were thinking,? said Miss Bennet, a definite smirk forming on her face, ?it was not about the hedgerow you were approaching. Your horse sailed over it very nicely and you sailed off in the opposite direction.?

Darcy?s face was deeply suffused in a flush of colour. ?Did I....?? He cleared his throat, letting go of her hands, finally, and sitting up. How on earth was he to ask if he had just committed the grossest of improprieties, had just kissed her without so much as a by your leave? Was it not bad enough to have done it once already, but twice! Evidently, she was waiting for him to finish posing his question, eyebrows rising very slowly up the delicate incline of her forehead. ?I did not have the opportunity to speak with you again last evening,? he heard himself say, lamenting the pathetic attempt at an explanation. ?I believe I owe you an apology.?

Miss Bennet looked at him in some confusion. ?You did apologise. I think. Yes, you did.?

Was it his imagination or did her expressive eyes now have a touch of sorrow in them? ?I must have hit my head. I cannot remember.?

?What don?t you remember?? Her voice held a note of distress.

?Oh,? Darcy quickly assured her, ?I have not forgotten that I kissed you.? His eyes closed, willing his tongue to stop betraying him. ?I mean, I cannot forget that. I do not wish to forget that but I should.?

Elizabeth?s eyes were downcast. ?I perfectly comprehend your meaning, Mr. Darcy. It does no good to dwell on wishes that cannot be fulfilled. You have your name and your family to consider. Do not be alarmed, however. I am not one to make demands upon a man for an impulsive act that caused no real harm.?

He was not so sure of the lack of harm, judging by her expression. Darcy lifted her chin so that their gazes met. ?I would not see you harmed in any way, Miss Bennet. All you need do is speak. Your wish is my command.? My tongue betrays me again! ?What can I do to ease your mind??

?Ease my mind! I thought we were discussing yours, sir.?

He was unable to follow the logic in that connection. ?I assure you there is no need to be concerned about my mind, Miss Bennet. I am, however, disturbed by how my actions may cause you some uneasiness.? Darcy sensed a sudden distancing in her manner when she abruptly rose and swept the grass from her skirts. ?I have offended you.?

Elizabeth looked directly at him. ?Not this time, Mr. Darcy.?

This time? He drew his brows together slightly.

?Surely a man of your superior understanding will appreciate the avenue of escape that I am offering.? Though her eyelids fluttered only briefly, the significance was not lost on him.

?By this you must presume I wish to escape!? he cried before he could stop himself. ?Miss Bennet, there can be no question of what you are owed. I am ?.?

?No, Mr. Darcy. That would not be acceptable. There were no witnesses to either incident and I am equally to blame for not stopping you. You are under no obligation, in my opinion.?

?But Miss Bennet,? he began, then lapsed into silence. It was true that his actions required atonement. Marriage was the accepted result for the offense he had committed. Twice! Marriage to Elizabeth Bennet was very appealing, yet Darcy was equally aware of the many issues that would normally prevent his alliance with one such as herself, not the least of which was his aunt?s assumption that he was engaged to her daughter. This particular rumour had been useful more often than not but at the moment Darcy found himself thinking it just might be the cause of Miss Bennet?s polite withdrawal. ?I fear you may have heard something that places my actions in a questionable light. I assure you that, although some may view the matter as a legally binding agreement, it is in reality far from the truth and I am free to do as I choose.?

?Oh, it must be a source of great pleasure to be able to do as one chooses!? announced she with an annoyed swirl of her skirts.

Darcy?s eyes widened with astonishment at her tone and the flush of anticipation when he caught a glimpse of her delicate ankles under the swishing fabric. He was instantly reminded of what was hidden behind the folds of material, how he had seen her fingers play along the surface of her smooth skin as the firelight had danced along the curves of her calf.....

?In my limited experience,? Elizabeth continued on, completely unaware of the gentleman?s distraction, ?I have found it prudent to consider the feelings of the other people affected by my actions.?

?Very wise,? he agreed, eyes still captivated by the teasing view offered by the slightly raised hem gliding over the smooth leather of Elizabeth?s shoes.

?After all, any number of unexpected ill effects may occur. I would not be able to live with myself knowing I had caused the disappointment, perhaps forever, of another person.? Placing her hands on her hips, Elizabeth stared down at Darcy, wondering if her words were sinking in at all. How much more obvious must she be? ?Are you able to stand??

His head rose with that, his gaze at last taking in her expression of impatience. With some discomfort, Darcy got to his feet, mindful of the area of impact that would no doubt need attention when he returned to Netherfield. ?I fear it is my pride that has taken the most damage, Miss Bennet.?

Well, you have plenty of that to spare! she thought, most uncharitably. ?And you do so dislike being the subject of amusement, I believe I recall from one of our discussions during my sister?s illness.?

?The butt of a joke?? His lips twisted in a wry grin. ?Sometimes it simply cannot be avoided. If I allow myself to be so distracted that my riding ability is impaired, providing entertainment for passing young ladies, then I must learn to accept it, I suppose.? He suddenly leaned toward her, adding in a near whisper, ?You will not repeat the event, will you??

?Mr. Darcy!? cried Elizabeth, a pretty blush spreading across her cheeks. ?That would necessitate repeating everything that occurred! We both know what would be the result of that!? I would be made to marry a most handsome gentleman of wealth whose kisses reduce me to a complete idiot but whom I cannot respect for his lack of consideration for what is rightly owed others. Oh, no... a course of action that must be avoided at all costs.

I would be required to marry the loveliest, liveliest woman I have ever had the good fortune to meet; who has the greatest misfortune of coming from a family of no repute, less fortune and with a collection of relations that could rival the inhabitants of Bedlam on a good day. Oh, no... a course of action that must be avoided at all costs. Darcy carefully brushed the stray grass and leaves from his breeches. ?I thank you for your attention, nevertheless, and am very sorry to have caused you distress in any way. There is one more favour I must ask of you, however.?

?What is that, sir?? Elizabeth felt her insides flutter with the notion that a parting kiss might in the offing.

?Could you please direct me back to Netherfield??

The road had not been far from where Darcy had fallen. Just on the other side of the hedgerow, as a matter of fact. Elizabeth politely pointed it out, carefully masking the occasional smile as he gingerly made his way through the shrubbery and into the open roadway. There they parted, the lady for her home while the gentleman lingered a while, watching her until she disappeared from view.

His thoughts were not idle once he began walking. It was likely that his horse was already back in the stable and more likely that Miss Bingley had raised the alarm when the animal returned without him. How long it would be before he encountered a search party was not on his mind, however, for there were too many important matters to consider.

What was he to do about Elizabeth Bennet?

The lady invaded his every waking moment and the less said about what happened while he was asleep, the better! Darcy was in dire need of a confidante. Bingley had never filled that role and neither would he be a good choice at this time, even if he had been at hand. No, Darcy knew who he could count on to help him see his way out of whatever mess this situation with Miss Bennet had become.

Upon entering the front door at Netherfield, the house at last coming into view just as his tolerance for the ache in his gluteous was reaching a nexus, Darcy threw a quick greeting in Miss Bingley?s astonished direction and headed upstairs for his room, citing a pressing matter of business about which he?d neglected to inform his steward. The lady simply stood in place, following with her eyes his progress up the staircase, just a little confused about his manner of walking.

Darcy?s chamber door was quickly secured, his man called and a hot bath ordered with no explanation other than a need for some solitude. Then he sat down at the writing table, drew paper and a pen toward him and began to write.

Fitzwilliam,
Forgive the hastiness of my letter and any interruption it may cause in your activities but I am in need of your counsel and request that you advise me as soon as possible.

Firstly, rest assured it has nothing to do with Georgiana and our responsibilities there.

However, the matter does involve a young lady and you know how ill-equipped I am in that arena. Remind me of my obligations to the family name and history for I am quickly losing all sight of everything I have been taught; she has so bewitched me, cousin! I know not which direction I am headed. Do I toss aside all the expectations of a match that will be approved by society and our relations, or should I abandon what my heart is telling me?

I await your reply.

Your confused cousin,

Darcy

He finished with a flourish, writing the direction, folding the missive and sealing it. His man had since returned to announce the bath was readied. Darcy instructed him to see that the letter was sent with the morning?s post.

As he sank into the water, Darcy?s wandering thoughts were more heated than his bath.

Chapter Five

Posted on Sunday, 26 November 2006

Georgiana Darcy was sipping her tea, the temperature being a trifle too hot for her taste, when her cousin burst into the room.

?Georgie, where is this place your brother is staying? Do you know??

She choked on the tea. ?Hert... Hert...? She coughed.

?So you know, too! His heart, indeed! I?ll cuff him and knock sense into that head when I get there. Where is the house?? Colonel Fitzwilliam frowned fiercely, his eyes darting about the room as if seeking a weapon. ?Now, don?t feel sorry for him. I know how you ladies fall for all that romantic nonsense but trust me on this one, Darcy is out of his depth. He?s never fallen hard for any woman before and he won?t get trapped by this one if I can help it!?

Georgiana had regained control of her voice. ?He?s in Hertfordshire. I will get you the address but what do you mean about him being trapped? Is he in trouble? How do you know??

?I received this letter from him less than an hour ago.? He withdrew the item from a pocket and handed it to his cousin.

Scanning the brief missive, her eyes alternately widened and narrowed, her mouth forming a round O as the information became clear. ?It is as I suspected,? she said in a quiet voice.

?What was that?? Fitzwilliam asked, turning to face her. ?What did you suspect??

?He?s fallen in love!? she squealed in delight. ?Oh, and I know her name.? Scrambling from her seat, Georgiana went to the small desk which stood against the wall and pulled open a drawer from which she removed a small packet of letters. ?I keep all of the letters he writes me when he goes away.? She leafed through the stack as she returned to the chair. ?Ah, here it is. This letter he sent two weeks ago, while two of the local ladies were staying at Mr. Bingley?s house for a few days.?

?Staying at the house! It is worse than I feared,? groaned her cousin.

?No, no. One of the ladies was ill and her sister stayed to tend her. Fitzwilliam wrote that she, the one that was not ill, was the only member of the house with whom one could carry on an intelligent conversation! That she was... oh, here,? she said, thrusting the letter into his hand. ?Read it for yourself. She sounds delightful!?

My dearest Georgiana,
I hope and trust that you are well. Your delightful company is sorely missed by your brother, I hope you know.

Since receiving your last letter we have been honoured with the presence of two new guests at Netherfield. Unfortunately for one young lady, she fell ill after spending a prolonged time outdoors in a recent rainstorm and has been staying here. Miss Bennet?s sister, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, has stayed to tend to her needs. I must commend her for such compassion and dedication. It is something rarely seen in our circle. Forgive my next comment, my dear Georgiana, for it is not in the kindest spirit but could you imagine Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst showing such concern for one other?

At this point I have been obliged to convey Miss Bingley?s regards to you and her wish for your health and happiness. As you can imagine, she has been observing my progress with this letter since I began and I am pleased to know that she is unable to read my words due to the fine script of my hand. Have I impressed upon you how important it is to practice your penmanship? There are few accomplishments that will stand you in good stead than the ability to communicate clearly and effectively, not to mention discreetly.

Miss Bennet has improved enough that Miss Elizabeth has joined us this evening rather than spend it upstairs sitting with her sister. It is but a brief respite, she has warned. You would be surprised to know that the young lady is not a particular favourite of her hostess. Or perhaps you would not be surprised. Miss Elizabeth?s sharp wit and lively sense of humour has our Miss Bingley at a distinct disadvantage. At this very moment, were I to keep a tally of the remarks that Miss B has been unable to deflect, betting would be on Miss E.

Oh, I should not be speaking to you of gambling and rest assured that my inclinations do not run in that direction, my dear.

Forgive me, Georgiana. My attention was called away from my letter for a short time as we engaged in some delightful debate regarding the value of what many consider to be accomplishments of young ladies. As usual, it was Bingley who introduced the topic and Miss B soon thereafter joined in. I felt compelled to correct their misapprehensions. As you know, I am a firm believer in improving one?s mind through reading. As an aside to that, Georgiana, have you been keeping up with yours? I left you with several volumes to study in my absence. In your next letter, please tell me which titles you have finished and I shall quiz you on the contents.

Please do not think ill of me for the next part I relate. I could not resist the temptation to make my point about extensive reading while simultaneously reprimanding Miss B for her unladylike behaviour toward her guest. After a particularly scathing criticism of Miss E, entirely undeserved I will add, an opportunity arose for me to voice my approval for her choice of activity for the evening. Yes, my dear sister, Miss Elizabeth was reading while the others were playing cards! It was no thin novel of questionable repute, either, although selection is very limited in Netherfield?s library. If she did not bring it from home then Miss E must have spent some time searching it out here. I confess to having browsed the titles at Bingley?s disposal and am thankful for your foresight in reminding me to bring my own favoured books.

I may soon return to town in order to collect some more books. Will you be happy to see me? Be prepared for a request to play for me. There has been little in the way of musical entertainment here, although Miss E has some natural talent and her playing is pleasing enough. If she had the advantage of a superior instrument and your music master she could rival some of the best concert performers.

I find I must close now, dear sister. I have spent the better part of the evening in writing you and the party is now breaking up. Miss Bingley entreats me once more to send her regards, with the usual array of compliments that I know you have heard countless times before. Bingley also sends his wishes for your good health. Miss Elizabeth has gone to check on her sister.

I shall have this posted first thing in the morning so that you should receive it before the next day has passed. I shall eagerly await your reply.

Your loving brother,

Fw.

?Heaven help him!? Colonel Fitzwilliam sank into his chair. ?What are we going to do??

?What do you mean?? Georgiana was puzzled. ?Lord and Lady Matlock have been urging him for years to find a wife. I know that Fitzwilliam has resisted the pressure but is this not a good thing, then? He has found one on his own!?

Her cousin shook his head forlornly. ?Yes, but what a woman! Georgiana, his letter to me says it all. He is in quite a state, knowing this woman is not acceptable, yet might be powerless to prevent being ensnared! I must go to him at once. Bring him home if necessary! Anything to scuttle the disaster that is sure to unfold if left to his own devices in the wilds of the countryside!? He turned the paper over and took note of the direction from whence it came. ?I shall leave immediately. Is there anything you wish me to tell him??

There was but she was certain he would not repeat it to her brother. ?I shall write a short note for him if you can wait a few minutes.?

Fitzwilliam agreed but his pacing annoyed Georgiana as she attempted to put into words exactly what she wanted to say. A few lines was sufficient and she quickly sealed it, handing the paper to her cousin and smiling bravely.

?Don?t hurt him,? she warned. ?I won?t forgive you if you hurt him.?

He smiled reassuringly. ?He has nothing to fear from me.?

?I mean it,? she continued in a stern voice. ?If he gets hurt and you have been involved in any way, I?ll... I?ll... I?ll make sure every man in your regiment knows that pet name your mother calls you.?

Horror replaced the smug expression on the Colonel?s face. ?You wouldn?t.?

Georgiana Darcy crossed her arms over her chest and gave him that look.

?You would.?

?Jane! Jane! Whatever does it mean?? lamented her mother. ?Hill has just informed me that the butcher, who heard it from the cook, who was told by Netherfield?s housekeeper that Mr. Bingley has gone! Just this morning, the day after the ball. What can have happened??

Elizabeth looked up, startled by this piece of news. Had she not just seen Mr. Darcy little more than a few hours since? He had given no indication that he intended to depart. I have driven him away!

Kitty spoke up, sparing Elizabeth the mortification of asking, ?Has Mr. Darcy gone, too??

?Heavens! Why should we care about him?? scoffed Mrs. Bennet.

?I believe Mr. Bingley went alone.? The quiet voice belonged to Jane. Her cheeks were slowly turning pink. ?He said he will be but a few days at most.?

?What a sly girl you are, Jane!? her mother purred.

?Oh, Mama,? her embarrassed daughter protested. ?There is nothing sly in it at all. Last night Mr. Bingley merely mentioned in passing that he had some business in London that would take him away for a day or two and that the rest of his party would remain at Netherfield.?

?Mentioned in passing, did he? Yes, yes. That would not have been when you were absent from the ballroom and Mr. Bingley coincidentally was nowhere to be found, as well??

Kitty and Lydia squealed. ?Ooh, Jane!? the youngest girl shouted in her usual manner. ?What would Papa say if he knew!?

Jane?s cheeks were red, but it was the red of anger, Elizabeth noted. She spoke before Jane could betray herself with a retort. ?And a coincidence it was. I saw Mr. Bingley speaking with his friend while Jane was not present. So there you have it. Do not spread such false information about, Lydia.?

?Me!? cried the accused. ?It was Mama who suggested it!?

?I am heartily disappointed that you did not take advantage of the opportunity, Jane.? Mrs. Bennet sniffed disdainfully. ?Tell us, then, how Mr. Bingley came to inform you of his plans.?

?It was during dinner,? confessed Jane. ?In speaking of the ball I mentioned that people would spend the following few days quietly, most likely at home, not travelling about nor entertaining others. It would be a time to catch our breaths after all the excitement. Mr. Bingley then said it would be an ideal time for him to take care of some neglected business matters if little else would be happening.?

?The same may apply to Mr. Darcy, then. He may very well have gone with his friend,? concluded Kitty.

Elizabeth?s suspicions were aroused. ?Why are you so interested in Mr. Darcy?s activities??

?Kitty, my dear girl!? cried their mother, alerted to a possibility. ?Have you managed to attract his interest? I never would have approved him after slighting Lizzy like he did but his dancing with her last night indicates his willingness to make amends, I think. Oh, Kitty! Just think of the trinkets you would have in marrying such a man!?

?Me marry Mr. Darcy! Goodness, no! It is Charlotte Lucas who cherishes that hope, I can tell you. Maria says her sister could not stop talking about the dance she shared with him and that he was ever so talkative with her.? Kitty was consumed by another fit of giggling.

Mrs. Bennet was affronted, however. ?What presumption! If Lady Lucas thinks one of her daughters is going to win the biggest prize ever to walk into Meryton then she has not taken into consideration the power of my girls!? She sat up as tall and straight as her matronly figure would allow and took stock of her offspring. ?Lydia, you would look so well in the finest gowns Mr. Darcy?s money could buy.?

Her youngest made a face and shook her head vehemently. ?I wouldn?t marry him for all the tea in China.?

?Hush! You will do as you are told,? reprimanded Mrs. Bennet, frowning in thought once again. ?Kitty, do be serious. Mr. Darcy is not a frivolous man, that we have seen! I believe we shall all take a trip into Meryton for some new fabrics and see what gowns can be fashioned up quickly before the snow flies. There are sure to be two or more dinner parties where you may outdo Charlotte Lucas before the gentleman!?

?Oh, Mama!? Elizabeth was beside herself with mortification. ?I will not do any such thing.?

?Who said anything about you, Miss Lizzy? Do not be so selfish. You have Mr. Collins, after all.? Her mother suddenly eyed Mary more closely. ?Come to think of it, Mr. Darcy might appreciate a quieter, more subdued wife. He is so quiet himself. Yes, this afternoon we are off to the milliner?s and enough fabric for everyone to have a new gown. I think I?ll have one for myself, too!? She rose to pat Mary?s arm placatingly. ?You will do just fine for him, my dear girl. All we need to do is catch his eye and make sure it stays fixed.? She left the room, humming merrily.

?Well, if that doesn?t ruin everything,? pouted Lydia. ?I thought it couldn?t get any worse than Mr. Collins fawning all over us. Now we have to dance rings around Mr. Darcy just because Mama is convinced he is interested in Charlotte.?

?At least you and Lizzy don?t have to be subjected to such embarrassment,? Kitty said to Jane.

?No, Lizzy has our cousin, after all,? Lydia snorted.

Elizabeth threw down her needlework, leaving the room and her laughing young sisters.


Chapter Six

Posted on Sunday, 3 December 2006

For the second day in a row Darcy escaped the house, and Miss Bingley, only to find himself in unfamiliar territory. His impetuous behaviour troubled him if this was the result every time he became distracted with thoughts of Miss Bennet. A leisurely ride through the country usually settled his restless spirits but when his horse was left to its own devices because the rider?s mind had wandered, it was time to admit that there was more to his preoccupation than could be so simply counteracted.

He reined in his horse at the top of a rise and looked about him. Nothing seemed familiar and not even a chimney poked above the surrounding trees.

Darcy sighed, considering allowing his horse to choose their way, for surely it would know the way back to the warm stable and source of food. Instead, he dismounted and chose to sit on a nearby stone wall while the animal searched for the last blades of grass on the cold ground.

Why must this be so difficult?

Darcy had long ago come to the conclusion that Elizabeth Bennet was the woman he wanted to marry, to take home to Pemberley as his wife and to be the loving and attentive mother to their lively, impertinent children. If he had nothing else to consider in this world, nothing but his own wishes and happiness, then he would not be sitting on a stone wall, lost in the wilds of Hertfordshire, undecided about his next course of action.

?But I do have much more to consider,? he sulked aloud. ?The expectations of my father and mother, who drilled it into me from the day I graduated to long pants that I must choose well, from the elite of society, and not disgrace the family name or fortune by marrying below our class. Then there is Georgiana. I must set a proper example for her.? He fell silent, his horse no longer serving as a mute audience as it moved away to find more grass. Darcy thought long and hard on his dilemma, as if he?d not spent the last weeks in a similar examination. The end result was always the same.

If I cannot marry Elizabeth why would I even marry at all? Every feeling revolts at the thought of taking another woman as my wife. I want no other but her. What has happened to my ordered thoughts and ambitions, to everything I had been groomed for achieving? At home, at school, in every relation?s house I have been told the same thing, time and again; marry well, look above your current station and never below, do not be blinded by young beauties who will entice with myriad physical charms.

?Oh, that is certainly easier said than done!? He launched a rock into the air and watched in satisfaction as it crashed into the brush not far away. That satisfaction was short lived, however, as his horse suddenly leapt aside in fear and began a speedy escape in the opposite direction. ?Whoa, boy,? Darcy called in vain. ?Easy, whoa!? The horse was too far away for his voice to have any effect and he watched it gallop into the distance, frustrated with his own carelessness.

?Just add that to my growing list of thoughtless actions,? he muttered. ?Where is my self control? Thank heaven Elizabeth Bennet is not here this time. I am sure to propose on the spot if she were!? I have kissed her twice already! How can I not do the honourable thing and offer her my hand?

He recalled her words from the previous day, however, and was unconvinced of being accepted. Darcy concluded that she was too good, too honest, to use such means to promote herself. No, if he was to gain a willing partner in Elizabeth Bennet it would be through better efforts than stolen kisses and hidden admiration.

With a resigned sigh, he abandoned his perch and decided to follow the path his horse had earlier taken, hoping to find some marker along the way that would point him toward Netherfield, Meryton or perhaps even Longbourn, he thought with a smile.

Colonel Fitzwilliam cursed his bad luck. His horse had picked up a stone in one foot but, by the time it became noticeable, the bruise was deep enough that the animal would be lame for some days to come. His hurried ride to Hertfordshire had become a slow walk, leading his injured mount down what he might have considered pleasant country lanes under better circumstances.

The small inn where he had last stopped before the problem with his horse had arisen was only five miles from the town of Meryton, he had been assured. Thence it was but another mile to reach Netherfield. Fitzwilliam was thankful for the lack of snow, even if his toes were feeling the chill despite the exercise. Houses soon became visible as he neared the town, the Colonel stopping to enquire of a boy carrying firewood just how much further before he reached Meryton itself. The answer pleased him for could not be more than another ten minutes? walk.

As he entered the cluster of buildings which appeared to serve as the local businesses, Fitzwilliam?s eyes were arrested by a flash of red to his right and upon closer observation confirmed it was the colour denoting the coats of officers in His Majesty?s service. His ears were subsequently assaulted by several feminine squeals, and one in particular calling out a name Fitzwilliam wished never to hear again in his lifetime.

Pulling his horse to a halt, the Colonel kept the animal?s body between himself and the group of officers just being greeted by some very young ladies. His gaze narrowed in anger as he recognised one face in the crowd.

?It is ever so nice to see you returned, Mr. Wickham,? gushed one excited girl. ?Denny had to make up all of your promised dances at the ball.?

?Thank you, Miss Lydia,? Lieutenant Wickham replied with a charming smile. ?I regret disappointing you but am pleased to learn that my friend attended to the unfortunate side effect of my absence.?

?Well, you missed a wonderful evening. Oh, you?ll never guess who danced!? She had no intention of waiting for him to try but continued speaking. ?Mr. Darcy! Yes, he danced with Lizzy. Can you believe it??

Even from his vantage point Fitzwilliam could see the look of interest forming on Wickham?s face.

?I saw him approach her again later in the evening and.....?

Fitzwilliam struggled to hear as an overladen cart lumbered by, clattering loudly enough to drown out every other sound. When it finally passed he was once again able to discern their conversation.

?... and she is convinced she will land him for her husband!?

Wickham laughed, a sound that sent a shiver of revulsion down Fitzwilliam?s spine. ?Many a lady has aspired to that role but to no avail. I wish her success. Mr. Darcy is not so easily ensnared.?

The second young woman now joined in. ?Oh, Mama is beside herself. We have all come to town to find material for new dresses so that we may all have our chance at catching Mr. Darcy?s eye.? Both ladies giggled in a loud and unrestrained manner that made the Colonel cringe.

He listened for a few more minutes but nothing further was said about Darcy and, not wanting to call attention to himself, felt he had been standing on the road long enough. It was unfortunate that his choice of direction coincided with that of the party he had been observing. Another cacophony of female sound came from his left, where a matron stood outside a shop door.

?Lydia! Kitty! Come here this instant, girls!?

As Fitzwilliam took a step forward his boot collided with that of one of the officers, each man stopping to look at the other.

An expression of panic spread fleetingly over Mr. Wickham?s face, then was gone as quickly. He brought his feet together smartly and bowed. Fitzwilliam?s only acknowledgement was a glare. Wickham smirked, then joined his companions, leaving the Colonel fuming in the middle of the laneway.

?One moment, Lieutenant,? he suddenly called out, the heads of three young men turning to look back at him. Only Mr. Wickham refused to face him. ?Yes, Lieutenant Wickham, I was speaking to you.?

His three friends looked at Wickham curiously, the identity of the dust covered man unknown to them but his clothing spoke of wealth.

Fitzwilliam approached the group, smiling in a friendly fashion and seeing that he had the attention of all the ladies, as well. ?It has been a while since we last met. I see you have made some new acquaintances!?

Unable to avoid it, Wickham began to make the introductions. ?Colonel Fitzwilliam, may I present Mrs. Bennet, her daughters Miss Catherine and Miss Lydia, my fellow officers Sanderson, Denny and Roberts.?

The three young men snapped to attention upon hearing the rank of the stranger. The reaction of the ladies was surprising, however. Fitzwilliam almost felt as if he was being touched all over as they looked him up and down appraisingly. His memory was sharp, however, and he silently repeated everyone?s names so that he would not forget. The Bennets were of paramount interest even with the absence of the one called Elizabeth. Yes, if she was anything like what he had just witnessed, Fitzwilliam might well fear for his cousin?s sense.

?It?s my great pleasure to make your acquaintance, ladies,? he said with a courteous bow. ?I have not seen my friend here in several months. I hope you will not mind if I take him away for a few minutes so that we may catch up.?

?Of course not,? Mrs. Bennet assured him, who could then be heard to add as Fitzwilliam drew the younger man to a secluded corner, ?A Colonel, girls! Another fine reason to have new dresses. Quickly now, into the shop!?

Once apart from his friends, Wickham?s bravado faded. He had been fortunate enough to avoid encountering this guardian of Georgiana after the disaster of Ramsgate. Darcy was frightening enough when his temper was aroused yet he would never engage in physical retribution. Wickham could not be so complacent about Colonel Fitzwilliam.

Reading his thoughts, Fitzwilliam smiled. ?Calm yourself, Wickham. We are in a public place. I?ll not harm a hair on your head unless you give me inarguable cause.?

?What do you want of me, then??

?As distrustful as ever,? snorted the Colonel with a shake of his head. ?It had never occurred to me that I might end up in the same town as you anytime in my life, yet here we are! I hope, for your sake, that I hear nothing ill of you while I?m here.?

Wickham gazed about them, avoiding Fitzwilliam?s eyes. ?Darcy told you I was here. Is that why you?ve come??

?Perhaps.? He would give nothing away, certainly not to such an individual. ?How did you come by your commission? You cannot possibly have any money left from your last venture.?

Wickham shrugged. ?I won it in a card game. The other fellow had no money and I had no means of getting more.?

?That is not one of the better motives I have heard for joining His Majesty?s forces. ? Colonel Fitzwilliam was dumbfounded by this man?s ease in ingratiating himself with innocent young women. He did not look behind them but was reminded of the extreme youth of the two ladies who seemed to be on very friendly terms with the scoundrel. Deciding that he needed to speak with Darcy about the matter, he was suddenly struck by something else. ?I hope you have not been slandering my cousin?s character here, Wickham. You are aware of the consequences for spreading lies of such nature, are you not??

Mr. Wickham swallowed nervously. He had no idea what consequences might be dealt out by the man before him but could easily believe it to be highly unpleasant and something to avoid. ?Darcy had already imprinted himself in the minds of the local population with his typically outgoing and friendly manner. Such a shame the people here have no opportunity to see him at Pemberley, in his element, and at his most charming.?

?Let me make myself perfectly clear,? Fitzwilliam said, his voice low and gaze steady. ?If I hear one peep that even remotely resembles the tales you have been spreading all over London, I will abuse every power at my disposal and beyond to see your behind on the front line in France. You might even be privileged to see Napoleon in person.?

It was no idle threat, Wickham knew, no matter how frivolously phrased. As he had informed only a handful of people about his ugly history with Darcy, tidily edited to show himself in the best light of course, he was not too concerned that anything would reach Fitzwilliam?s ears. There was but one person, however, in whose discretion he was less secure. ?Is that all you have to say to me?? he asked, his mind working on a plan to intercept Elizabeth Bennet and attempt to counteract his earlier influence.

?Yes.? Colonel Fitzwilliam was smiling that false sort of smile which generally meant he didn?t believe a word and neither should his listener. ?I wish you well in your latest career ambitions.? He watched the Lieutenant walk briskly off to join his friends. Fitzwilliam considered his next move. He was not intending to walk his injured horse another three miles and so he called out to the driver of a passing cart, enquiring of the location of the nearest stable so that he may leave his animal and rent another. It was but a short distance from where he stood. The arrangements were quickly made and Fitzwilliam once more on the road to Netherfield.

Were it not for Jane?s presence, Elizabeth would surely have strangled their cousin. In spite of the satisfaction such a resolution might have given, she was grateful that the heinous act was prevented; it would have cast such a pall over the courtship of Jane by Mr. Bingley with a sister locked up in Newgate or even hanged, for relieving the gene pool of a parasite. Well, justice was oft times questionably bestowed.

?Have you finished with the blue, Lizzy?? Jane patiently waited for her sister to comprehend the question before pointing to the thread. ?The blue, Lizzy. May I use it now??

?Yes, of course.? Elizabeth quickly handed it over, incautiously glancing over to where their cousin sat reading a book by the fire. His eyes weren?t on the page, however, and she looked away in embarrassment, pricking her finger with the needle in the process. ?Ouch!? she cried, putting the offended digit int her mouth to ease the pain.

?Oh, Lizzy, are you alright?? Jane never believed in letting an injury go untreated. ?Let me call Hill to bring you a cool, wet cloth.?

Elizabeth was at first going to object, thinking that she could go on her own to tend her finger and not bother the servant for so trifling a matter. That would have left Jane alone with Mr. Collins, though, and that was not acceptable.

?Perhaps it is more urgent,? Jane suddenly said, leaving her work to take her sister?s hand. ?We shall go to the kitchen directly. Do not worry, Mr. Collins,? she cautioned, seeing the man start to rise from his own chair. ?These things are often less serious than inconvenient and we shall no doubt take but a few moments.? Her smile so reassured him that he merely nodded and returned to his book.

Once the door was closed behind them Elizabeth let out a sigh. ?Can you not make him go away permanently??

?Let me see that finger, Lizzy.?

?It is nothing.? She held it out nonetheless. ?Why did you not go with Mama and the others??

?And leave you here alone with Mr. Collins? I could not subject you to that.? Satisfied that the injury was minor, Jane released her sister?s hand. ?You cannot avoid him forever, Lizzy. Sooner or later he will find an opportunity to propose. What will you do then??

?Refuse him, of course.?

?Is that wise?? Withdrawing to the alcove near the front window, Jane entreated Elizabeth to think seriously. ?Would it not be more prudent to make your disinterest known, possibly redirecting his toward another, before that moment arrives??

?Redirect him toward whom? Our mother is intent on keeping him for one of us because of the entail. Do you really think the man would suit any of our younger sisters??

?What about considering how they might suit him??

Elizabeth stared, aghast. ?Jane! You cannot be thinking he is at all suitable material for anyone?s husband! I know you hate to think ill of anybody but really! We are speaking of Mr. Collins. He is completely ridiculous and I would sooner marry a total stranger than accept any offer he might make.?

?A total stranger?? Jane eyed her sister dubiously. ?I have never heard you speak so unguardedly. You are not thinking of Mr. Wickham, are you??

Elizabeth shook her head. ?No, no. Mr. Wickham could not support a wife on a Lieutenant?s wages. You need not worry that I would do anything so foolish merely to escape marriage to our cousin.?

Jane was unconvinced that her sister did not have a particular gentleman in mind that she favoured. If not Mr. Wickham then who could it be? Their circle was not very large. ?That brings us back to the problem of whom to direct Mr. Collins? attentions upon.?

?Quite frankly, I don?t care,? huffed Elizabeth. ?It?s quite possible that those new dresses Mama is providing for Mary, Kitty and Lydia will dazzle him so that he forgets all about me. Now would that not be just perfect?? She stood, smoothing her skirts. ?I cannot stay inside any longer. Come walk with me, Jane. We may speak of more pleasant topics, perhaps of Mr. Bingley.?

Jane readily agreed. The two sisters dressed warmly and quietly slipped out of the house.

Continue on to Next Section

© 2006 Copyright held by the author.
Completely Inappropriate - Section II

By Teg


Beginning, Section II, Next Section

Chapter Seven

Posted on Sunday, 10 December 2006

The November air was chill but Darcy soon found himself feeling quite warm with the exercise as he had completed yet another mile of brisk walking without seeing anything familiar. It seemed impossible that there was no recognisable landmark or that he had moved further from his desired destination rather than closer. Thankful for the quality of his boots, though they could do nothing for the lingering discomfort in the region he had injured the previous day, Darcy was relieved that there would be no blisters to add, at least.

The landscape had not varied to any degree; the same gently rolling hills, trees and woods broken up by pasture or fields. Darcy found himself comparing it to Derbyshire and the land with which he was more familiar. There was no feeling of desolation as one would get high in the Peak District and he was keenly aware of how much he missed that. However, the pleasantness of the current surroundings did not bring any sense of peace to his mind.

He consulted his timepiece and wondered if Miss Bingley had dispatched the hounds. If his horse had gone directly back to Netherfield it would have been nearly two hours since its arrival apprised them of his mishap.

Darcy trudged through yet another field of corn stubble, believing himself to be lost in the only part of England that was lacking roads. Either it was sheer bad luck or this corner of Hertfordshire was not popular, for not a road or track had he crossed. He had tried following one of the walls bordering a field to see if it led to a track of some sort, but only came upon yet another field adjoining the first. Being November there was no chance of meeting any farmers working the land.

It was time to sit down and think. The sun was obscured by clouds. On reflection, Darcy realised he had no idea which direction Netherfield lay even if he had been able to tell east from west. He may very well have been travelling in circles for some time already.

Resisting the temptation to give in to his frustration and kick the rock in his path, he instead found a tree to lean against while closely examining the details of the surrounding countryside for any signs of life. Within a few minutes he detected a sound that was not part of nature?s melody. Distant but distinctive, the ting ting of a bell could be heard. Darcy closed his eyes in an effort to identify the direction from whence it came. He could have spared himself the effort as the animal to which the bell was attached rounded a small hillock and the welcome sight of a donkey came into view.

His first impulse was to rush forward and secure the animal but after losing his horse twice in as many days he was more aware of the hazards of such rash actions. Instead, he made a soft clucking noise and was thrilled to see the animal?s ears rise and turn in the direction of the sound.

?Good....? he paused, confirming with a look before he said, ?girl. Over here.?

Even without the presence of the bell it was obvious that the donkey was not a wandering stray. She had been well cared for, was not underweight, and Darcy lacked only a means for riding her. The bell was slung about her neck with a rope. The knot came undone easily enough and the rope then slipped through the sides of the crude halter, over her nose, and with the remaining length adequate as long as the rider?s arms were stretched forward.

One final dilemma was yet to be tackled. It had been some time since Darcy had ridden bareback and a donkey was a far cry from the refined horses of his own stable. The little animal was unlikely to stand still to be mounted and once spooked, it might be impossible to calm her.

This was one thing that simply could not be rushed.

It had taken some doing but Lieutenant Wickham had managed to extricate himself from the company of the young Misses Bennet to pursue a discreet liaison with their sister. Since Miss Elizabeth was not present on this excursion to town he thought it may be possible to find her at Longbourn. With this purpose in mind, discretion being of utmost importance, he took leave of his friends and set off on the road in the opposite direction of his aim, intending to circle around the town by means of a lesser travelled footpath and end up at his destination without anyone being the wiser. It was certainly a time consuming choice but that was the lesser of two evils with the added benefit of allowing Mr. Wickham the opportunity to further plan out his methods of contacting Miss Elizabeth once he made it to the house.

When the town was no longer in sight he doubled back on an adjoining path and walked for some distance undisturbed until his attention was captured by the sound of movement in the brush neighbouring the narrow track. In another moment the source of the noise hove into view and George Wickham stopped, blinked not once but twice, then strode forward to take the reins of a horse he recognised all too well. It was not the animal, per se, that was familiar but the saddle with the distinctive Darcy crest emblazoned upon the skirt.

The gentleman was at a loss to understand how the horse had become separated from his rider. Darcy was not prone to losing his seat and his mounts were never ill-tempered beasts. Wickham did a thorough check of the animal?s condition, partly for fear of being accused should it turn out to be injured, and was relieved to find no evidence of abuse upon it. The legs were straight and sound, he even nudged into the Lieutenant?s chest in search of an apple.

?What am I going to do with you?? Wickham sighed. Then fear shot down his spine. ?What happened to Darcy? If he?s been hurt... Fitzwilliam is here... I?ll be blamed!?

He looked about in a panic. There was no obvious track to lead him back the way the horse had come. Thinking as quickly as possible, the young officer set off on his former course, pulling on the reins. A mere fifty yards further on he nearly walked into Miss Bennet.

?Ah, Miss Bennet!? he cried excitedly. ?And Miss Elizabeth! How happy I am to see you. I?ve lost my way and can you tell me how to get back to town??

Jane looked on him with sympathy while Elizabeth raised a doubtful eyebrow, crossing her arms and preparing to make known her opinion when she caught sight of the markings on the saddle.

?That is Mr. Darcy?s horse!? she said, mouth agape in shock. ?Whatever are you doing with his horse, Mr. Wickham? He cannot have given it to you, on such terms as you certainly are.? She drew her shoulders back and dared him to explain the situation.

?Yes, Miss Elizabeth,? he stuttered, eyelashes beating a steady rhythm in Jane?s direction. ?It is Mr. Darcy?s horse, you are quite correct. I found it just a moment ago, rambling in the forest.?

?Is that so?? Elizabeth pressed her lips together firmly, one hand grabbing hold of her sister?s arm. ?Come, Jane. We must find Colonel Forster at once. Something dreadful must have happened to Mr. Darcy for his horse to be wandering about in this manner.?

?Yes! That is what we must do,? agreed the Lieutenant, scurrying after the two ladies.

Jane was stumbling in her efforts to keep up with Elizabeth. ?Lizzy, what are you doing? I thought you liked Mr. Wickham? Did you not say that ???

?Now is not the time, Jane,? hissed her sister. ?I shall explain everything... later.?

Looking back over her shoulder, Jane next addressed Wickham. ?What do you think has happened to Mr. Darcy, sir??

?I have no idea. I pray no harm has befallen him, truly!?

The horse gave a snort. At least, it could have been the horse except Jane knew better for she was walking very close to Elizabeth. So close, in fact, that when the other woman suddenly rounded upon the gentleman, Jane had to duck to avoid the lashing.

?You cannot be serious, Mr. Wickham! You have spent the better part of the last weeks attempting to convince me that Mr. Darcy, your childhood friend, is nothing more than a scoundrel; an ungrateful whelp unfit to be seen in decent company!?

?Miss Elizabeth!? The Lieutenant came to a halt, his boots skidding on the bare soil. ?I beg that in your current distress you do not exaggerate your recollections of our conversations.?

?Distress?? mumbled Jane. Neither of the others heard her.

?I may have given you to understand that Mr. Darcy and I are not the best of friends due to some ... misunderstandings between us. Please, do not think ill of him because of that.?

Elizabeth stared, mouth open, then snapped it shut and whirled about, dragging Jane by the arm once again.

?Lizzy, Lizzy! Slow down, please.? The pleading note in her sister?s voice persuaded Elizabeth to moderate their pace. ?Why the rush? You don?t really think something dreadful has happened to the gentleman, do you? Do you??

Elizabeth inhaled slowly and deeply to regain control. It would do nobody any good if she appeared in Meryton frenzied and nervous enough to rival Mrs. Bennet. ?You?re right of course, Jane. You?re right. My imagination is getting the better of me.? How could she tell anyone that only the previous morning she had found the gentleman prostrate upon the ground, having been separated from the same horse? No, that would only lead to revealing the rest of the story; the kiss, the kiss before that and how Elizabeth?s shocking behaviour could only have encouraged him. All of that before she had even come to doubt Mr. Wickham?s testimony!

Jane was tugging at her sleeve. ?Lizzy,? she whispered in her sister?s ear. ?You will tell me later about this imagination of yours.?

Elizabeth could not reply to that and remained silent until they finally reached the main road into Meryton. By that time her imagination had come full circle and, unfortunately, so had her mother.

?Lizzy! Jane!? Mrs. Bennet strode across the lane in all her matronly elegance. ?Oh, Mr. Wickham! I did not see you there.?

Bowing politely, the young officer wondered how she could possibly have missed his red coat, not to mention the horse accompanying him. He also wondered how to extract himself and Miss Elizabeth in order to have that necessary conversation with her. Mr. Wickham was not at all satisfied that he?d persuaded her to discard all that he had previously said.

It was Jane who replied. ?Lizzy and I were out walking when we happened upon Mr. Wickham, who seems to have taken a wrong turn somewhere.? She looked at the other two.

Seeing nothing wrong with this explanation, their mother called the rest of her brood to her side. ?We have made some excellent purchases. I daresay they will do the trick!? She winked broadly at her eldest. ?Come along, girls.?

Elizabeth was desperate to remain, to see Colonel Forster and try to discover what had happened to Mr. Darcy.

?I wish to purchase some thread, Mama,? Jane quietly said. ?I found I needed more blue than we had at home. Lizzy will stay to accompany me back to Longbourn.?

?Very well.? Mrs. Bennet was unperturbed by the arrangement and was soon on her way, her other three daughters in her wake.

Looking expectantly at the Lieutenant, Elizabeth waited for him to lead the way to his commanding officer. She was disappointed in the Colonel?s response to her concerns, however. Contrary to her expectations, he did not send out his entire company to search for the missing gentleman. He did, however, charge two of his men with returning Mr. Darcy?s horse to Netherfield. Having done her best, Elizabeth took her sister?s arm and together they began the walk back to Longbourn.

The countryside began to have a more familiar feel. Darcy was careful not to let his relief be incautiously communicated to his ass, for the animal was far from easily managed. He hoped to gain another mile at least before relinquishing her to freedom once more.

The sight of a rooftop suddenly poking above the canopy of trees nevertheless caused him to dig his heels into the sides of the creature. She leapt forward, letting out a bray of displeasure, yet failing to unseat the irritant.

What unmitigated joy Darcy felt when a tidily clipped hedge appeared before them! In the next instant a figure emerged from a break in the row. It was none other than Mr. Collins. Painfully aware of the lack of dignity in his current situation, another rush of relief flowed through Darcy when he saw that the other man was too preoccupied to even notice the oddity approaching him. Pemberley?s young master quickly slipped from the back of his mount and with amazing ease managed to lead her to concealment. Luck seemed determined to stay with him, preventing Mr. Collins? attention from wavering in his single-minded pursuit of whatever troubled him.

?I am a very patient man,? he was muttering. ?It is necessary in my profession, although I must in all modesty attribute it to my unusually sensitive nature which is only more greatly complemented with compassion for those less fortunate.?

At first Darcy thought the man was rehearsing lines from some dramatic stage performance. It soon became apparent, however, that he was indeed rehearsing, but for something that caused Darcy increasing uneasiness to overhear.

?You will understand, therefore, that it is not a selfish desire on my part, but one rooted in the deepest and most honourable motives; that of familial devotion and responsibility to protect, to care for the weaker members of our family.? Mr. Collins brought his hand out before him, as if taking hold of an invisible object, which he then brought to his lips and bestowed a reverent kiss. ?As the heir to your family home I feel it is my duty to provide for my fair cousins in whatever manner I can. It is with this in mind that I approach you to present an offer I am assured that you will find not only acceptable but will embrace in the spirit intended.? He paused as if listening to a response, shaking his head with assumed humility. ?You are too good, my dear. Bless you.?

Darcy could stand it no longer. He knew not which Miss Bennet was to be the unfortunate recipient of this marriage proposal but in his opinion not even the senseless Miss Lydia deserved such a husband. What was he to do, however? It was hardly in good form to interrupt the man in mid sentence, yet allowing him to continue was unthinkable. Self preservation won out in the end and Darcy stepped from his cover only to find himself shoved aside by the donkey who rushed forward in excitement.

The rest was a blur as Mr. Collins let out a yelp of fright and set off running as fast as his chubby legs could carry him, sparing no backward glance and never noticing the well dressed gentleman in the moment before he disappeared headfirst into the bushes.

Darcy, for his part, let out a long sigh. His trials had been numerous since the morning began. What was one more? In fact, after the hours of riding, walking and uncomfortably travelling by donkey, without food or water, he was quite willing to surrender to the inevitable. Promptly, he reclined onto the cool earth and closed his eyes.


Chapter Eight

Posted on Sunday, 17 December 2006

First I must convey my thanks to Mary S for the opening line of this chapter. :) She said it while we chatted one evening and I simply had to use it. Thanks Mary!

?A handsome man should not add to his disadvantages by being a great kisser.? Elizabeth?s horror knew no bounds. I cannot believe I said that aloud!

Jane had ceased all movement, perhaps even breathing, to stare at her sister. In a hushed voice she said, ?Of which gentleman are you speaking, Lizzy?? They were almost home and she practically dragged Elizabeth from the path to stop their progress. ?Lizzy, you cannot make such a statement and expect me to remain silent. Even I cannot ignore that! Who is this man you?ve been kissing??

?I have not been kissing him,? cried Elizabeth. ?He was kissing me!?

?A small distinction,? replied her sister, her own lips pursed in an expression somewhere between disapproval and a smirk. ?I did not hear you say you objected.?

?I had no opportunity to object,? Elizabeth protested. ?It all happened so unexpectedly, both times.?

?More than once!? Jane pulled her closer. ?Who is he, Lizzy? Tell me.?

?I cannot.?

Concerned, Jane?s voice softened. ?Did he... was there more to it than simply kissing??

?Oh, Jane!? a mortified Elizabeth?s eyes widened. ?Is that not bad enough? What would people think? What would people say? How could I face anyone ever again if they knew that I?d... that I?d actually liked it!?

?Wonderful! I knew something momentous had happened to you,? laughed Jane. ?Now, let me think. He must be someone you like, and who likes you, of course. How else would you have ended up kissing??

Her sister was shaking her head. ?Please stop. It?s nothing like that.?

?What do you mean? Nothing like what? He doesn?t like you? You don?t like him?? Understanding dawned in Jane?s eyes. ?There is only one man you don?t like at present. Could it be Mr. Darcy you were kissing??

?Hush!? Elizabeth looked around them quickly, relieved to see no-one else. ?Stop saying I was kissing him. It was Mr. Darcy who kissed me and I would prefer that you drop the subject immediately.?

?Oh, but you liked his kisses. Can it be that you like him as well?? She held back a laugh but could not stop a smile as she watched Elizabeth furiously fan her flaming cheeks. ?Lizzy, in all seriousness, what are you going to do about him??

?Do? Do?? Her tongue kept tripping over the syllable. ?There is nothing to do. If Mama found out there would be a big to do about it, you know, and then there would be nothing to do but ... but...?

Jane grabbed her sister?s hands and held them tightly. ?Calm down, Lizzy. If that?s all there is to it then I shall not say a word to anyone.?

?Not even Mr. Bingley??

?Not even Mr. Bingley,? nodded Jane. ?But you had best be careful how you behave around the gentleman in future.? Wonder filled her at the thought of the quiet and solemn Mr. Darcy conducting himself so inappropriately, and what could have inspired him to kiss Elizabeth? After all, he had declared her not to be a temptation for him. This in itself was enough to encourage Jane into deciding a closer observation of the man was in order the next time she was in his company.

Elizabeth was still flushed in embarrassment. ?Please go on ahead of me, Jane. I cannot appear before Mama and our sisters until I have regained my composure. I shall be perfectly alright out here alone, I assure you.?

Of course she would. They were within sight of Longbourn house once on the path again. Jane nodded sympathetically; if their mother enquired, she would say Elizabeth had gone upstairs when they came in. Thus she left her sister taking advantage of the cool air to remove the heat from her flushed face.

Once she was alone, Elizabeth took several steadying breaths, willing her blood to stop racing. How was it that the mere mention of kissing that man sent her heart into wild spasms? It would take more than a few minutes to settle her mind enough, to be prepared to face her mother?s endless suggestions for capturing Mr. Darcy. None of them were directed toward the daughter most interested in the gentleman and the thought of any of her younger sisters being successful in the endeavour sent Elizabeth?s stomach turning.

It could all be moot, though, she suddenly realised. Where was Mr. Darcy? What had happened to him that his horse was found wandering about, having lost its rider? After having witnessed his misfortune of the previous day there was no telling what evil might have befallen him.

These new thoughts were hardly helpful. Elizabeth found herself desirous of a greater distance from the house, not simply more time to grow calm. Immediately she set off down the path which wound around the perimeter of the lawns, skirting the hedges that bordered the region furthest from the main house. It was at this juncture that she was brought up short by the sight of a man?s body sprawled beneath the shrubbery. Shocked into silence, she rushed forward, only one possible identity in her mind.

Elizabeth?s fears were confirmed as she drew nearer; the high quality boots and clothing could belong to one man alone.

Mr. Darcy! The name reverberated in her head, her voice unable to function. Kneeling beside him, she reached for one outstretched hand and cradled it against her cheek. Oh, I knew some evil had befallen you! Mr. Wickham will not be allowed to escape punishment for what he has done. I swear that I shall see him brought to justice! His gloved hand resting in hers, Elizabeth silently willed Mr. Darcy to open his eyes, to look at her one more time and to......

Before she knew what she was doing, their lips touched. It was too late to regret the action but there was no doubt that the gentleman was not dead for his arms had soon encircled Miss Bennet?s form and drawn her close, never interrupting the kiss. Not that she wished to end it, of course, but the completely improper thoughts accompanying the activity would be enough to make even her brash youngest sister blush. All too soon her mouth was free to speak once more, however. It was Mr. Darcy who managed to speak first, although his voice was devoid of its usual smooth, mellifluous tone.

?Mmmmmisssssssss.... Bennet.?

Elizabeth?s hand rose to cover her mouth, not noticing that she still held that of the gentleman. ?Oh, I feared you were dead!?

?Dead!? The thought crossed his mind to ask her why she would be kissing a dead man but it was quickly replaced by another. She kissed me this time! ?I can assure you that I am very much alive, Miss Bennet.? The colour rose in her cheeks, Darcy instinctively tightening his hold on her.

?I am.... gratified to discover that... sir,? she managed in a breathy voice.

?Miss Bennet,? he began again. ?We must stop meeting like this.? Words pushed their way past his lips as he could no longer resist the temptation to confess all that was in his mind and his heart. Well, almost all. There were still some things better left unsaid... until a more appropriate time. ?A more permanent arrangement is desirable, do you not agree??

Observing the quirky upturn in his smile, Elizabeth had not the power to refuse but still retained the presence of mind to ask the precise meaning of his question.

?I am asking you to honour me with your hand, to become my wife. Will you marry me, Miss Bennet??

?How could I say no?? she smiled, indicating their relative positions with his arms firmly clasping her to his chest as they laid together on the cold ground. ?And when my mother and sisters ask about the manner of your proposal, shall I tell them how completely inappropriate the situation was??

?Certainly not!? cried Darcy. ?I will not have anyone thinking scandalously of your behaviour, whatever they may think of mine. Yet you have not said yes, either. Relieve my suffering, I beg you.?

A tantalizing smile overspread her face. ?Yes, Mr. Darcy. I will marry you. I cannot believe you have asked me, that I have accepted and we are... we are...?

?Engaged,? finished Darcy.

Elizabeth?s smile turned to an expression of concern. ?Oh, but did your head get hit? Where are you injured? What did he do to you?? She struggled to free herself in order to gain a better look at his person.

?Who?? Mildly amused with her attempts, he allowed his arms to release her.

?Why, Mr. Wickham of course! Jane and I discovered him skulking about the countryside with your horse. I knew he had done no good but Colonel Forster would not believe me.? She had now regained her feet but did not know how to begin examining the gentleman.

?He had my horse?? Darcy started to rise but Elizabeth pushed him back down.

?You are going nowhere until I am assured that you are uninjured.?

?I am perfectly alright, Elizabeth.? Despite her protests he gained his feet, every inch the gentleman. Offering his arm, Darcy suggested that they walk on to the Bennet home. ?Since I became separated from my horse earlier today I have little idea of where I am. However, having your expert guidance we shall arrive at Longbourn in no time at all, I?m sure.?

?As am I,? giggled Elizabeth, ?for it is just the other end of this garden.? She pointed to the lawn which spread out before them.

?I see.? Softly chuckling at this turn of events, he shook his head and bade them continue.

The house was a hive of activity when they entered. Mrs. Bennet was uninterested in Elizabeth?s explanation of her encounter with Mr. Darcy, his misfortunes in losing his horse as well as his way and her subsequent invitation to take refreshment at Longbourn. No, an unparalleled opportunity had presented itself and Mrs. Bennet was going to make the most of it. Her daughters might not yet have the benefit of new dresses but they had the advantage of Mr. Darcy being in their midst. Not a moment could be wasted.

For his part, Darcy sought to remain polite and attentive to the woman who was Elizabeth?s mother and would soon become his own mother-in-law. Nothing could sway him from his decision to marry Elizabeth Bennet, now that the offer had been made. Until that moment he had dithered betwixt and between, encouraged and dismayed, confident and doubting. All of that was moot once the words had passed his lips and he?d been accepted. At what point their engagement would be made public had not yet been discussed, however. Darcy realised he must speak with Mr. Bennet soon, as a matter of formality.

The lady of the house was speaking, soliciting his opinion regarding dinner. ?You will stay, will you not? It is no trouble, of course.?

There was nothing he would enjoy more than to spend the rest of the day in Elizabeth?s company. ?If I may dispatch a note to Netherfield, arrange for my carriage to be sent on later, then it would be my pleasure to join your family for dinner, Mrs. Bennet.?

Clucking in satisfaction like a fussing hen, she excused herself to attend to informing the cook of the necessary changes. Without their mother to hold them back, Mary, Kitty and Lydia found a quick escape while Jane conveniently sought out paper and pen for the gentleman. This left Elizabeth and Darcy to relative privacy for the moment, though the former could feel her sister?s eyes upon their every move.

Elizabeth fidgeted. Darcy watched her, smiling inwardly and composing in his head the short note to his manservant. Surely Miss Bennet would see to the letter?s delivery immediately upon its completion, allowing him a few moments alone with Elizabeth.

As hoped, Jane sat quietly and when Darcy folded the page, writing a name on the outside, she offered to arrange for a servant to convey it to Netherfield post haste. The door closed softly behind her and Elizabeth finally looked up.

An apology was on her lips, an apology for her mother?s behaviour, yet Darcy would near none of it.

?You do not understand,? she persisted. ?Mama is convinced that one of my sisters will be the victor in the pursuit of your hand, sir. She would never think of me as a candidate.?

Darcy lightly stroked the back of her hand with his fingers. ?Of course our engagement will come as a surprise to her, as it will to everyone! It is not as if either of us advertised our interest. In fact, I was nearly convinced you would refuse me, and all over some false rumour you may have heard.? He moved closer, taking Elizabeth?s hand and raising it to a point just below his mouth. His lips were poised to deliver a kiss upon the back, but at the last second deviated; he deftly turned her wrist upward and softly caressed the spot where her pulse beat strongly.

The rest of his words barely registered on her. Elizabeth was vaguely aware of sounds from outside the room, footsteps outside the door and a knock patiently applied, though what attention she was able to focus remained on the handsome gentleman who continued to amaze her with his actions. Even when he withdrew his hand and moved a more respectable distance away she did not waver in the study of his figure. Eventually Elizabeth became aware of other voices, realising that not only had Jane rejoined them but so had two more of her sisters.

?Lizzy, you will never guess what we saw from my bedroom window!?

?Lydia,? reproved Jane in a quiet voice.

The younger girl completely ignored the hint. ?Mr. Collins was being chased by a donkey! He ran clear across the potato field and the donkey kept nudging him when he would trip and fall. It was ever so funny! I tired myself out laughing!? She looked directly at Mr. Darcy as if to judge his reaction. Unable to interpret his expression, however, and finding no amusement in commanding his attention, Lydia returned to her narrative. ?I declare he was halfway to Meryton before I could not see him anymore for the trees.?

Darcy felt compelled to comment at last. ?It is unfortunate for Mr. Collins that he did not choose the direction of the house.?

Lydia snorted. ?Oh, that would have been funny, indeed! Do think what Mama would have said when the donkey appeared in this sitting room!? She laughed delightedly, Kitty following her example.

Jane sighed loudly enough to be heard over the raucous noise of her younger sisters.

?Come, Kitty.? Lydia chortled, gesturing to the door. ?Let us go and tell Hill. She will appreciate the story more than some others.? One last look was more than she could resist, however, as she turned to stick out her tongue before the door completely closed.

?Well,? Elizabeth softly said, then fell silent. She was struck by the irony of the situation, of how she had gone out of her way to avoid a marriage proposal from her cousin only to hear that he ended up being pursued by an ass.

Darcy, on the other hand, thought the pairing very fitting, although he wisely said little to that effect.


Chapter Nine

Posted on Sunday, 24 December 2006

Colonel Fitzwilliam was not prone to worrying. That was a female malady, one that often plagued his mother and sisters. In the years he had lived at home all manner of catastrophes had been forecast, none of them coming to fruition, yet that did not discourage the expressions of misgiving whenever the Earl or one of his sons ventured from the family home.

Fitzwilliam often wondered how they bore the strain. It was not often that he found himself in a comparable state of mind but Darcy?s letter had truly alarmed him. The reaction of his younger cousin did nothing to alleviate the Colonel?s concern. Georgiana obviously did not appreciate the danger while her brother clearly did, else why hi plea for help?

Fitzwilliam had devised a plan. Unfortunately, he arrived at Netherfield to discover Darcy was absent, a fact which gave the gentleman no comfort at all. He weathered more than an hour in the company of Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst and just when he felt an overwhelming urge to escape, their brother appeared, much to the surprise of his sisters.

Sensing that Bingley would be sympathetic to his friend?s plight, the Colonel suggested at the earliest opportunity that he would like to speak with him on a matter of import. Not wishing to alarm the ladies, for ladies were always more inclined toward the subject of romance and matrimony, the attempted avoidance of which was sure to raise their ire, Fitzwilliam was careful in the wording of his request.

Bingley was only too happy to comply and immediately offered the retreat of his library. Not having one whit of an idea what his guest wanted to discuss, he nevertheless saw to their comforts, pulling an extra armchair closer and pouring each of them a drink.

Fitzwilliam set aside the drink and got to the point. ?I had a note from Darcy, which is what brings me here today. We must brook no delay. I have formulated a plan to extricate him from this trouble.?

?Trouble?? Bingley?s eyes were round. ?I have not the pleasure of understanding you.?

?A woman,? explained the Colonel, his voice hushed and dramatic. Noting the other man?s reaction he continued, ?I see you know what I mean. I have come in all haste with the express purpose of separating my cousin from this woman, removing him from her clutches and thereby sparing everyone much grief.?

?Darcy wrote of her to you?? Bingley could not believe that. ?You know who she is??

?Yes. Well, no. He didn?t tell me her name but Georgiana knew and revealed everything when she realised the seriousness of the situation.? He patted one of his pockets. ?I even have a letter in her own hand, begging her brother to heed his better judgement and come back to London with me.?

Blinking in surprise, Bingley?s head moved side to side in amazement. ?Back to London? Do you believe he can be persuaded so easily??

Fitzwilliam was confident. ?Oh, yes. He wants only the excuse to leave town, which I shall readily supply. In no time I will have him safe and sound, far away and out of harm?s reach.?

?But what of the young lady!? cried Bingley.

?I am sure she will be able to find another victim soon enough.?

?Victim! You haven?t even met her. How can you be certain she is what you suspect?? Not at all happy with the purpose behind the Colonel?s appearance, Bingley argued the only way he knew how. ?What if Darcy truly cares for her??

?You are forgetting that it was Darcy himself who apprised me of what was going on and asked for help.? Fitzwilliam leaned back in his chair, looking as if he was delivering a lesson to a schoolboy. ?I?m sure you?ve seen it many times with others. A pretty girl catches his attention, aims her charms and voilÄ…! So, Darcy succumbed in a moment of weakness, has been drawn in by a pretty face and it?s up to us to protect him from a nasty fall.?

The scenario was difficult for Bingley to believe. Even replaying the conversation he?d had with his friend a mere two days previous, the expressions Darcy had used, and the evident concern when stating them, did not at all seem to be that of a man under a spell of some sort. He was just too irritatingly serious in presenting his arguments. Yet in spite of these misgivings there were still questions.

?Are you with me on this?? Fitzwilliam was studying his companion closely. If he couldn?t count on Bingley?s assistance it would definitely be awkward. Once again he? posed his question and awaited the answer.

Bingley opened his mouth but the sound which filled the room was not his voice.

?What the devil...?? said Fitzwilliam without thinking.

?It is Caroline,? responded Bingley. The shrieking noise was familiar to his ears. ?She has probably broken a fingernail.?

?What??

The reply was more gestures than words as the shrieking became a wail before gaining impossibly in volume, culminating in a piercing shine with the opening of the library door.

?Charles!?

Fitzwilliam winced while Bingley tiredly turned to face his sister. ?Yes, Caroline??

?You must come quickly! Something terrible has happened!? Her lips quivered in her pale face.

Suddenly coming to life, her brother rushed to her side. ?What is it? What has happened??

?Oh, it is horrible! Colonel Forster?s men are here. They have brought Mr. Darcy?s horse but not Mr. Darcy!?

Fitzwilliam felt no desire to question her further. He immediately went in search of the officers, finding them impatiently standing inside the front entrance. ?Tell me what happened. Where did you find the horse??

?It was another officer who found the animal, sir. He brought it to the camp,? explained one of the young men.

?There was no sign of my cousin, Darcy, where the horse was found??

The lieutenants looked at one another, then the first spoke again. ?Colonel Forster asked that question, I?m sure, but only Lieutenant Wickham can provide the answer.?

?Wickham!? cried Fitzwilliam. ?I wouldn?t believe a word that lying scoundrel has to say.? He turned to see Bingley coming toward them. ?I?m going to speak with this Colonel Forster and find Wickham this instant.?

?I?ll go with you,? a worried Bingley nodded.

They left the two officers standing in the hallway as they headed straight for the stable to have their horses readied. So great was their preoccupation that neither gentleman noticed the figure of a servant approach the kitchen door to be given admittance by the cook. In another ten minutes they were away, galloping toward Meryton.

Edmund Brown was efficient; very efficient. It would not have been possible to remain in Mr. Darcy?s service otherwise. Within minutes he had assembled the requested items, packed them neatly into a small valise and sent them along with the young servant returning to Longbourn.

The additional request was unusual, though not odd, yet Brown pondered the question of keeping the master?s whereabouts concealed from Miss Bingley should also include Mr. Bingley and Colonel Fitzwilliam. The presence of neither gentleman had been anticipated.

A discreet enquiry revealed that both had left the house and so the matter was rendered irrelevant for the time being.

Brown went about his regular duties, his mind pleasantly occupied with the possibility of a new Mistress soon to take up residence at Pemberley.

?He?s lying,? insisted Fitzwilliam for what seemed to be the hundredth time. Clearly Colonel Forster was tired of the conversation. Bingley was of no help. His attention had wandered at the first mention of Wickham having been in the company of the two eldest Misses Bennet. A strange, vacant, faraway look came over him and he continued to be unresponsive even twenty minutes later.

?So you?ve said,? the other Colonel sighed. ?What would you suggest I do? Flog him until he confesses? You know as well as I that a man like Wickham would confess to anything under that sort of inducement.?

That was true enough.

?Wickham must show us where he found the horse. He cannot lie about this! The two ladies would have come upon him soon after and could expose any deception.?

Forster nodded agreement, calling to a soldier outside his doorway. ?Bring me Lieutenant Wickham and tell Smythe to get ten men ready to mount a search.? Dismissing him with a gesture, Forster brought a hand to his chin and rubbed it. ?There is not much light left for today.?

?That makes it all the more important that we get started now.? Fitzwilliam found himself wishing his only concern was what had sent him rushing to Hertfordshire in the first place.

The sound of Bingley?s voice made the other men jump. ?I will not be very useful in the search but I could go to Longbourn, since I know the Bennets, and see if the ladies have any other information which might be helpful.?

Fitzwilliam saw no reason to argue. He was actually glad to see Bingley make himself scarce since he would be more worried about the man becoming lost in his absentminded state.

So Bingley made haste to his horse and was quickly on the road to Longbourn. He did occasionally think of his friend, Darcy, but was not overly concerned that anything dreadful had occurred. Darcy was perfectly capable of looking after himself. He had certainly taken fine care of his friend over the years!

With that thought Bingley patted his pocket, smiling with the prospect of seeing the fair and lovely countenance of Jane Bennet very soon, and urging his horse on even faster.

The servant had returned in plenty of time before dinner. Although rooms for a gentleman to use were in short supply at Longbourn, Darcy was shown to Mr. Bennet?s chamber to wash and change into the clean attire his man had sent from Netherfield. Mr. Bennet himself was not a little surprised to find another gentleman in his room when he opened the door. Witnessing the imposing Mr. Darcy struggling with his shirt, as there was no servant to assist him, more than made up for any feelings of being put out, however. He did find it odd that the young man spent such a long time fussing over his appearance, but then it was said he was a fastidious sort and Mr. Bennet could merely shrug his shoulders and chuckle quietly. He completed his own change of clothes much more quickly, enjoying the rest of Mr. Darcy?s exhibition from the comfort of an armchair. When at last the other man was done, or seemed satisfied in his appearance at least, Mr. Bennet thought it prudent to offer him a drink as recompense for the show.

It really was a special treat to observe the younger man, suddenly nervous in his presence, his hand shaking a little as it held the glass. It almost evoked sympathy in Elizabeth?s father. Mr. Bennet managed to quell it, though, and let the silence lengthen, further pressuring Mr. Darcy to make the first attempt at conversation.

It worked.

?I would like to thank you and Mrs. Bennet for the kindness of inviting me to stay for dinner, sir.?

A smile could not be restrained. ?The circumstances are only a little unusual. Lizzy is known to bring home strays on occasion but they are more often kittens or puppies that have followed her on her walks.? His expression requested enlightenment as to how and where his daughter had happened upon the young gentleman.

Darcy was not about to confess his predilection for becoming separated from his horse, nor for losing his way. That was hardly going to recommend him to his future father-in-law. ?I presume those strays are also fed.? A tentative smile warmed his mouth.

?Oh yes, and they end up spending a comfortable night in Lizzy?s room.? Mr. Bennet?s gaze narrowed. ?Of course, that will not happen in this case.?

Darcy?s smile disappeared and he swallowed uncomfortably. ?Indeed,? he managed in a weak croak.

?Well then,? the older man said, finishing his drink and rising from the chair. ?Shall we go downstairs and brave the company of my wife and daughters??

Nodding mutely, Darcy followed his host?s example, downing his entire glass of port. Leaving the chair, he straightened his jacket, took one last glance in the mirror and was shocked at the petrified expression on his face. A few deep breaths would be helpful in restoring his equilibrium but Mr. Bennet was waiting at the door. Darcy prayed that the short walk to the parlour would suffice and that his reputation wasn?t already in jeopardy before he even began to solicit Elizabeth?s hand from her father.


Chapter Ten

Posted on Monday, 1 January 2007

It was only to be expected that Mr. Bingley would have more success locating his quarry than Colonel Fitzwilliam in finding his. Never mind the fact that both were at the same place that Bingley had gone. Had Fitzwilliam given the matter a moment?s thought, real thought, surely even he could have concluded that his cousin was more likely to be found at the side of his heart?s desire.

However, this necessitated a romantic bent and the good Colonel, as bent as he was, did not incline toward romanticism. At that precise moment he was, in fact, quite bent out of shape.

?Look here, Wickham,? Fitzwilliam snapped. ?You?ve led us on quite a merry expedition but it?s late now, and getting dark. What say you stop this nonsense and we can all get back in time for dinner?? His stomach gave a loud rumble, punctuating his point.

?What nonsense? You asked me to show you where I found the horse, which I did. It was you who insisted on trying to backtrack the beast?s trail in the hope of finding Darcy at the other end. There is nothing more I can do.? He added a reluctant, ?Sir.?

Fitzwilliam took a step forward only to be drawn up short by a more formal utterance.

?Sir?? A lieutenant waited for the Colonel to acknowledge him before he proceeded. ?As you pointed out, the light will soon be gone. We did not come prepared to search in the dark. I suggest we return to camp now and start again in the morning.?

Leaving his cousin lost in who knew what condition for a further twelve hours was not a course of action Fitzwilliam preferred. As much as he hated it, however, there was really no choice. With effort he nodded to the lieutenant who communicated to the other troops the change in direction.

Within a half hour the sun had set, darkness settling over the countryside and the trees enveloped in the night. The group of soldiers stopped in a small clearing.

?Which way now, sir??

Fitzwilliam looked at Wickham.

Wickham blinked.

?Um...?

?This is unprecedented!? Mr. Bennet announced gleefully. ?Two gentlemen visitors, calling separately at Longbourn, and yet there is the mystery of the missing clergyman! Where is my good cousin, Mr. Collins? Do you know, sir?? He turned on Mr. Bingley, just coming through the door and looking quite startled to be thus addressed. ?Have you come with some information??

?Alas, no,? the young man quickly replied. ?Coincidentally, it seems, I have come seeking information from you, or more particularly, from your daughters, Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth.? It was only when his gaze sought out the fair maidens that Bingley espied his friend?s presence in the room. His jaw fell open in shock and he knew not what to say.

?Now what could my daughters possibly have to offer that I do not?? Mr. Bennet blithely continued, observing every reaction in the room. Jane was prettily coloured, a light blush brightening her cheeks, while Elizabeth appeared more interested in silently observing one of the young gentlemen. Said young gentleman had turned interesting shades of red. ?Mr. Bingley, I believe you have my daughters? attention.?

Startled, Bingley grinned sheepishly. ?Oddly enough, my question has been answered.?

?Answered?? Mr. Bennet frowned, certain he had not missed any conversation, as closely as he had observed all the parties in the room. ?What was the question??

?It concerned my friend Darcy?s horse and Lieutenant Wickham but now that I have found Darcy here, with you, he may explain.? It was a struggle indeed to take his eyes off of Miss Bennet.

?Lieutenant Wickham and Mr. Darcy?s horse, eh? That is an explanation I would like to hear as well.? Smiling beneficently, Longbourn?s patriarch fixed the latter gentleman with an inquisitive gaze.

Darcy shook his head. ?I can offer no testimony, I am sorry to say, for I know nothing about the matter.? He looked to his friend for further instruction.

?I can tell you what happened, Papa,? said Elizabeth. ?Jane and I came upon Mr. Wickham when we walked to Meryton earlier this afternoon. He had Mr. Darcy?s horse, saying it had appeared from the woods while he was out walking. The circumstances were suspicious, to say the least. We proceeded to Colonel Forster and he charged his men to return the horse to Netherfield.?

?That is all?? Mr. Bennet was very disappointed.

?Oh, my sister was in hysterics!? cried Bingley. ?Darcy, you cannot imagine how she is suffering right now, imagining every terrible tragedy from the most dreadful of penny novels.?

?I think I can imagine,? said three voices simultaneously. No-one was quite sure who said it but Mr. Bennet, Darcy and Elizabeth each knew at least one who had spoken.

?Then you may return to Netherfield and reassure her that no harm has befallen me,? Darcy firmly suggested.

Bingley would not be gotten rid of so easily now that he was in the presence of his angel after so long an absence. ?It would be pointless without you. She would believe nothing unless she could see you in person.?

?If she is so far gone as that then you may be better served in taking along the apothecary with some substance to calm her.? Mr. Bennet nodded his head sagely. ?If left untreated, nerves can become a plague on an entire household.? He brought a finger to his lips to silence the giggling from one corner of the room.

With impeccable timing Mrs. Bennet entered. With equal astuteness she said, ?Mr. Bingley! You are here!?

?Ah, yes.? Her husband joined her by the door, one hand taking her elbow and preparing to steer her back the way she had come. ?As you see, we have another guest come to dine with us, my dear. There must be some changes you need to convey to Hill.?

Her reply faded away as the couple headed toward the kitchen.

Not a word was spoken in the parlour, yet all eyes were busily surveying the other occupants. Jane smiled serenely, entirely captivated by Mr. Bingley?s presence. Kitty and Lydia giggled quietly, wishing to avoid being noticed by Mr. Darcy, their mother?s designs uppermost in their minds and a fate to be eschewed at all costs. Elizabeth curiously observed the two gentlemen eyeing one another.

?I do not quite understand Miss Bingley?s distress,? she ventured. ?Mr. Darcy sent a note to Netherfield earlier today.?

Darcy?s gaze fell to his feet. ?I must confess that my note was not addressed to Miss Bingley but to my manservant.?

?Oh.?

More giggling was heard from the corner.

?I dare say it would not have been a problem if those officers had not shown up with your horse,? offered Bingley. ?It certainly sent us all into a panic. I suppose Brown will inform your cousin when he returns to Netherfield from his search for you.?

Darcy?s head came up with a snap. ?My cousin??

?Colonel Fitzwilliam was there was I arrived home from London.?

?A Colonel!? came a dual gasp from the corner, followed by more giggling.

Even Jane could not ignore such obvious foolishness, yet the two gentlemen did not appear to have noticed. Bingley continued speaking as if he had not been interrupted.

?You are surprised? He said he came at your express request.?

The emphasis was not lost on Darcy. ?I did not ask him to come. I asked only for some counsel.? Anything he may have to say now is irrelevant. I have made my decision without his input and am perfectly satisfied with the outcome. Darcy further thought that if Fitzwilliam believed he would hear one word about the temptations his cousin had struggled to resist, detailed descriptions of his delightful downfall, then he would quickly be disabused of that expectation!

Bingley was biting his lip. ?He appears to have come to deliver it in person.?

?Will he come here?? Lydia breathed out the question.

?I certainly hope not!? her two elder sisters replied with enthusiasm.

Elizabeth immediately apologised. ?It is not that we would not welcome your cousin,? she explained to Darcy, communicating genuine regret, ?but some may be too welcoming, if you know what I mean.?

?Oh, Lizzy!? wailed the two youngest Bennets.

Mary could stand it no longer. ?I can stand this no longer,? she announced, rising from her chair where no-one had noticed her sitting for the last half hour. ?Perhaps Mama requires some assistance, or Hill, or someone.?

Bingley hurried to open the door before she marched into the closed portal.

Lydia snorted disdainfully. ?Well, it?s not as if she has any chance with a Colonel.?

Elizabeth stood up, prompting Darcy to trip over his own feet in his hurry to rise. ?I?m sure it is near time for dinner. We should, I think, go to the dining room.?

?An excellent idea, Lizzy,? agreed Jane. She was just as quick to make her way to Bingley?s side, gracefully sidestepping the wobbling Darcy.

Mrs. Bennet was pleased to see them all appear. She had been about to send a protesting Mary to announce dinner but was able to reverse her frown when the argument was avoided. Eagerly, she indicated to the gentlemen where to be seated then motioned her daughters to their respective chairs.

Darcy owed a debt of gratitude to the conventions of society. Although he was not seated beside Elizabeth, that privilege awarded to his friend who was doubly fortunate to be facing Miss Bennet across the table, he did find Mrs. Bennet?s conversation to be superior to that of her youngest offspring, at her other side and opposite Darcy. With the addition of Bingley the number of diners was uneven, lending a feeling of lopsidedness to the seating. Still Darcy found no reason to object, for he was the recipient of more elbow room while they dined.

The unceasing questions from his hostess, who did not wait for more than a monosyllabic answer, kept his mind from dwelling too heavily on what he was missing at the other end of the table. He was mindful of Elizabeth?s earlier warning; that her mother had set her hopes on attracting him to one of the younger Bennets. It was an amusing thought, one he had to suppress in order to avoid laughing aloud. Miss Lydia?s obvious reluctance to engage him in any of her previously carefree behaviours was almost ludicrous to witness and tempted a mischievous spark in Darcy which only a stern self control kept from unleashing upon the unwilling young lady.

He was certain that Elizabeth would not find such a practice entertaining either. Under any other circumstances Darcy would have been appalled at the direction of his thoughts but in the case of Mrs. Bennet and her ridiculous aspirations, or it might have been the recent influence of Miss Elizabeth Bennet, he had begun contemplating behaving in ways which were previously very foreign to his nature.

Not that exchanging impromptu kisses with the most beautiful woman of his acquaintance was in any way distressing, considering it had culminated in the reward of her accepting his proposal of marriage. The more bizarre attractions, however, the allure of teasing Miss Lydia or Miss Catharine into believing his eye was turned toward them was looking more appealing by the minute.

Darcy shook his head to dispel the naughty thoughts.

?You do not like it?? Mrs. Bennet asked, not a little concerned with his opinion and staring at her plate accusingly. ?I shall speak with the cook about it. I daresay her effort could have been better this evening.?

?I?m sorry. You mistake my meaning, Madam,? Darcy was quick to interject. He had no idea to what she was referring but neither did he have any complaints about what had been served. ?I did not mean to convey an objection. Indeed, I have no objections at all. The selection is excellent and you have a fine cook, Mrs. Bennet.?

The lady positively melted in the glow of his praise. ?Thank you, Mr. Darcy. You are too kind! Is he not the kindest of men, Lydia?? she said, turning to her daughter with the last.

?Mmmm,? the saucy girl replied, her mouth full.

Darcy hazarded a glance down the table toward Elizabeth but saw she was listening attentively to something her father was saying. He drew some reassurance in the fact that there would be a little time to spend with her again after the dinner?s conclusion. Mr. Bennet did not strike him as the sort to spend much time on port with his guests even if the ladies left them to that relative privacy. Darcy looked forward, instead, to being served coffee by Elizabeth?s own hands.

When Mrs. Bennet suddenly rose from her seat there was a startled flurry as the gentlemen scrambled to theirs. She led her brood from the room, waiting as they passed into the hallway, then awarded a final glance at her husband which communicated a message none of the remaining occupants could mistake. Satisfied that she was understood, Mrs. Bennet closed the door and stepped headlong into the loitering throng that was her daughters.

?Mr. Collins has returned!? they all cried.


Chapter Eleven

Posted on Sunday, 14 January 2007

Mr. Collins had not returned alone. Mrs. Bennet was stunned to discover her parlour overrun with gentlemen, most in red coats but one notably without. Some of the faces she managed to recognise in spite of her fluttering heart.

?My dear cousins,? said Mr. Collins, immediately stepping forward and into a deep bow. ?Please forgive my impulsive act of charity in offering your warm hospitality to these men without first discussing it with you, but when I discovered them deep in the woods, without the hint of an idea which direction would lead them back to hearth and home, I could not in good conscience, as a man of the cloth and representative of our most divine Lord ?.?

His speech was interrupted by an impatient cough from the only stranger in the room not in regimentals.

?Forgive me,? Mr. Collins hastily amended. ?May I introduce Colonel Fitzwilliam, cousin of Mr. Darcy and nephew to my own noble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Colonel Fitzwilliam, my cousins Mrs. Bennet and her daughters.?

The ladies curtseyed, the gentlemen bowed, Fitzwilliam slightly annoyed that the clergyman hadn?t seen fit to provide the young ladies? names.

Mrs. Bennet lost no time in making use of their good fortune. ?Jane, please inform Hill to prepare some more coffee, tea and cakes for our guests.?

The Colonel took note of the young lady called Jane as she turned to do as bid.

?I shall go with her,? said one of the other daughters, promptly following the first.

Fitzwilliam studied the remaining ones as their mother began quizzing him on the particulars of their misadventure. He was quite interested in that she appeared to be the only person surprised when he announced they had been searching for his cousin.

?Mr. Darcy!? she exclaimed. ?How could he be missing? He is this very moment in my own house!?

?Here?? Fitzwilliam cried.

?And here he has been since afternoon,? Mary solemnly declared.

The Colonel contained himself enough that his horror did not show, yet he felt it all the same. ?Well, that is certainly a relief. I presume he had no idea how concerned many of us were with his disappearance.?

?I do believe he knows now. Mr. Bingley told us as much when he arrived,? sniffed Mary.

Yet he sent no word to ease our minds! After the first flash of anger, however, Fitzwilliam was more understanding. Of course, no message would have found its way to me, lost as we were during our search.

With surprising composure, Mrs. Bennet addressed her middle daughter. ?Mary, please advise your father of our additional guests.?

Obediently, the young woman nodded and left the room. No sooner had one daughter gone out than the first two returned, informing their mother that the refreshments would be along shortly. This was the signal for Mrs. Bennet to seriously begin her work.

Mr. Bennet glanced about him in dismay. The decanter of his favoured port was nowhere to be seen. Of course, its relocation from the library could not have been overlooked due to the habit of the men lingering in the dining room after the ladies? departure was not an established custom at Longbourn. It was far easier to place the blame on a lax servant, one so lax that it was useless to call him and see that oversight was corrected. He rose from the table.

?I shall be but a moment. Please excuse me.?

The door closed with a soft click and Bingley immediately came to life.

?You disappoint me, Darcy.?

His friend?s head swung around, the expression on his face bewildered. ?I what??

Bingley raved on, knowing time was limited. ?In all the years I?ve known you I?ve always believed you to be above such petty devices, to be honourable, trustworthy, a defender of those weaker than yourself; never as a man who chooses to exploit others!?

?What the devil ?!?

?But instead I find you compromising a young lady?s reputation and then preparing to escape all sense of duty by inventing some kind of excuse to run off to London!?

Shaking his head, Darcy nearly toppled his chair backwards while getting to his feet. ?Tell me at one what you have heard,? he demanded, ready to defend Elizabeth?s reputation with every shred of his being.

?What I have heard? It?s more what I have seen, but that did not disturb me as long as you remained at Netherfield.? Bingley frowned, making an effort to keep his voice quiet. ?When Fitzwilliam told me that you wrote to him, begging him to come and help free you from an entanglement before it was too late is when I became angry. Too late! What is that supposed to mean??

?I said no such thing. As I told you before dinner, I merely asked him for some advice.? He paused, finally digesting the rest of Bingley?s words. ?What do you mean it?s what you saw? What did you see??

His friend shifted uncomfortably in his seat. ?The evening of the ball at Netherfield... I left the ballroom intending to retrieve a book of poetry from the library. There was something I wished to show Miss Bennet, but when I pushed the door open I was dismayed to find the room was not empty, and the two occupants were... well, it was not difficult for me to recognise the man?s figure as you, Darcy. Nobody else has that cut of clothing in this neighbourhood. The lady, however, was in such a position that I could not identify her.?

?Then you do not know who she is?? Darcy relaxed enough to sit down once more.

?No, I do not, but that does not change my opinion one whit! To find you in an intimate posture with a lady, in my own house no less, you must believe was the greatest of shocks! The following day you declined to accompany me to London, despite having previously been very vocal in your dislike of the Hertfordshire neighbourhood, and I was very pleased that you had chosen to stay. It indicated to me a sense of respectability and commitment on your part.? Bingley suddenly huffed in annoyance. ?Now I have to wonder if you simply wanted me out of the way so that you might further toy with this lady?s sensibilities.?

Darcy opened his mouth for a hot retort when the dining room door opened to admit a returning Mr. Bennet. He was examining the decanter of port as he spoke, and missed the quick shuffle of postures by the two younger gentlemen.

?I feared at first that there would not be enough in this bottle for all of us but I think it will do after all.? Three glasses were poured and Mr. Bennet raised his, observing the light as it played across the angles and protrusions on the crystal. ?A tolerable character, you will find, but I think it tempting all the same.?

?Not as sweet as I prefer,? offered Bingley, ?but a good selection, I agree.?

?Mr. Darcy?? Mr. Bennet eyed the young gentleman, tipping his glass toward him. ?For a man of particular standards, I am sorry not to have anything in my house that would impress you. It is rare, indeed, to have such distinguished guests, as my wife would be the first to say.?

?I certainly mean no offense, sir, but you underestimate the value of your household.? The silent stares from his companions persuaded Darcy to add, ?The port is very good.? He mumbled something else, too quietly for the others to understand.

In yet another remarkable example of engineered disruption, Bingley?s mouth opened and immediately closed again when a knock sounded on the door. Mr. Bennet rolled his eyes in resignation. He would much rather have preferred to get the obligatory drink out of the way so that he might release the hapless gentlemen into the care of his wife and daughters, then retire to his library in peace. It was not to be, however.

?Papa,?came the voice of his middle child as she opened the door wide enough to admit her head. ?Mama would like you to know that we have some unanticipated guests. Oh, and Mr. Collins has returned.?
?Ah, the wanderer! I now have a great curiosity to hear him account for his absence. Who else has honoured us with their attendance, child??

?There are several officers of the militia, including Lieutenant Wickham, and another gentleman who is a Colonel and was introduced as a cousin of Mr. Darcy.? Mary?s gaze flicked to the latter to see him start in surprise.

?Another cousin!? chortled Mr. Bennet. ?It would be too much to hope he proves as interesting as my own.? His glass came down sharply on the tabletop. ?Thank you, Mary. You may tell your mother we shall be along in a moment.?

Her head disappeared and the door closed silently. The three men were also silent, observing one another. Bingley?s expression was serious, contrasting his usually ebullient manner. Darcy, on the other hand, seemed enlivened by the information recently imparted and Mr. Bennet, alternately studying his younger companions, was growing impatient to see what other amusements awaited in the neighbouring room. He cleared his throat and announced, ?Yes, I think it is time to join the ladies again.?

Bingley and Darcy both scrambled to their feet, then stood eyeing each other until their host led the way to the door. Mr. Bennet held it open, inwardly smiling at the bemused pair, eagerly anticipating a delightful hour to conclude the evening.

The heat was unbearable. Fitzwilliam cast an accusing look toward the fireplace only to see that the flames were quite low. There was something else to blame for his itching desire to open the cloth surrounding his throat. In a room full of ladies, however, the action would be completely inappropriate. The Colonel squirmed in his seat and brought his attention back to the centre of the company.

?....with only three to spare!" Boldly meeting his gaze, Mrs. Bennet queried her guest directly. ?Have you any of your own, Colonel??

?I beg your pardon?? He had no idea to what she was referring, having allowed his mind to wander. Suddenly realising what a dangerous practice that could be, Fitzwilliam changed his tactics. ?What I meant is that a spare is a relative thing. How many does one really need??

?How many?? Mrs. Bennet blinked, not comprehending the question. However, not wishing to appear ignorant of his meaning, she just as quickly answered herself. ?It isn?t so much a need as a preference. I believe the general opinion is that more is better and I certainly agree.?

The room was full of puzzled expressions, none more confused than Fitzwilliam. Thankfully, his interrogation was put to an end when the girl named Mary returned. She gave a short nod in her mother?s direction to which Mrs. Bennet smiled in satisfaction.

?May I offer you more tea, Colonel??

He looked into his empty cup, remembered how warm he was already, and wished there was some cold lemonade to drink instead. Better yet, a good stiff whisky would be very welcome! Politely, he declined the tea and was relieved to hear an intelligent question addressed to him.

?Colonel, what is the prospect of Napoleon being defeated, given the situation in Russia??

He stared in amazement at the young lady. ?Well, Miss Mary,? he said, settling eagerly into a subject he knew, ?there are many factors that could influence the outcome, not the least of which is ?.?

A sudden burst of laughter drowned out Fitzwilliam?s reply. He resisted the urge to turn around and show his annoyance. The young lady before him offered a resigned smile, apparently inured to the raucous behaviour of her siblings. Thoughtfully considering Miss Mary?s reaction, the Colonel wondered if he had been a little rash in his earlier judgement of his cousin?s infatuation.

Just as quickly he discarded that thought. What were the odds that two intelligent women could reside in this house?


Chapter Twelve

Posted on Sunday, 21 January 2007

If there was one thing he wanted more than anything else, it was to leave the room, the house and perhaps even the country. George Wickham stood next to the window on the outskirts of the parlour, hoping nobody else would notice him. It was inevitable that Miss Lydia and Miss Kitty should see him, but they were fortunately occupied with entertaining several of the other young officers and thus he had a few moments to compose his thoughts, to devise a way out of his predicament.

Darcy would be joining the party, no doubt about that. The last thing the young lieutenant wanted was to be face to face with Fitzwilliam Darcy in front of the fair ladies. Foolish as it was, he sought a means of escape, searching the nearby windows for an opening large enough to accommodate him. Luck was with him, for one of the apertures was in fact a doorway. Wickham?s fingers were on the handle just as the door to the parlour opened to admit the three gentlemen. In a flurry of movement, he turned the handle and pressed on the glass, rejoicing in the silent movement of the hinges and slipping out into the cold evening air. From the other side of the window he could see inside, noting in satisfaction that his exit had not been detected.

A marvellous exhibition soon unfolded. Wickham stepped further back into the darkness to prevent any of the light from spilling onto him and to increase his own field of vision. From his position in the bushes he witnessed the most amazing sight. Fitzwilliam Darcy was fixated on a point that seemed to coincide with the exact location of Miss Elizabeth. She, in turn, was staring almost shyly in his direction. There was a pause in the movement of everyone, as if time was standing still. Wickham resisted the temptation to shake his head and was rewarded with seeing the action resume. Bingley stepped forward to take Miss Bennet?s hand and offer a greeting as if they had not parted less than a half hour before. Mr. Bennet managed to find enough space to get by the two younger gentlemen so that he could take up his usual chair by the fire. He did not sit, however, but picked up a poker and began to stir the dying embers until healthy flames had been coaxed to life. Then he turned his attention toward the assembled crowd, stepping toward Colonel Fitzwilliam with a hand extended.

All of this Lieutenant Wickham observed, knowing he should retreat further, as far as the militia?s encampment at least, but too fascinated to tear himself away from the spectacle.

In the silence of the November evening, sounds from inside the house were easily conveyed to his ears. Voices raised above the normal pitch of conversation, for with so many present in the one room it necessitated speaking a little louder than normal if one wished others to hear. Thus Mr. Wickham easily understood the situation to which he was witness. The blubbering clergyman began reciting a Christmas sermon, of all things, for he could quite plainly hear the references to a donkey, Mary and God. The holiday was still many weeks away but he supposed it possible that Mr. Collins might need that much preparation and practice time in order to perfect his message. He was even more thankful that when they had encountered the man there was enough distance between them that the non-stop conversation was only a drone in his ears. If this was his usual style with which to regale his companions, his flock was to be pitied.

Moving stealthily along the border of the garden, Wickham shifted his focus to Colonel Fitzwilliam, who was in an animated and emotional exchange with his cousin. Alarmed that he might be the subject of their discourse, he retreated even further away from the house, failing to see the bench behind him as he had no eyes in the back of his head. A most undignified display of gravitational discrepancy would have ended in mortal embarrassment were it not for the fortunate fact that nobody witnessed it.

Mr. Wickham remained prostrate upon the ground, his legs bent over the back of the bench and feet dangling uselessly while he listened to the continuing conversation inside the house, despite the ringing in his ears.

Mrs. Bennet was beside herself. So many opportunities! So much variety! Who should be paired up with whom? Mr. Bingley was obviously meant for Jane. Mr. Darcy?s match was not so easily determined. The man was positively unfathomable! First he seemed to be inclined toward a quiet sort of girl, much like Mary. During dinner his manners could not be faulted and he even appeared to enjoy the company. If only Lydia would expend some effort in drawing his attention! But no, she was diverted by the young officers who probably had fewer than two thousand pounds between them. They did look fine in their red coats, however. There was no denying that.

The importance in securing Mr. Collins, and thus Longbourn, had long ago been made clear. Mrs. Bennet refused to consider any alternative to what was already planned. She had gently directed the young man toward Lizzy and he had eagerly complied. All that remained was to ensure her stubborn daughter?s acceptance. To this end there was nothing to be done while the house was full of men. It was terribly inconvenient and even more vexing to have such a houseful at such a time! Ordinarily the officers would be most welcome but this evening they were very much in the way. Poor Mr. Bingley would be unable to press his suit. Mr. Collins, although not the most tactful of men, might also be discouraged. Mr. Darcy could hardly be expected to demonstrate an interest in Mary or Kitty or even Lydia with so many observers. The only pleasant aspect to the intrusion was the addition of Colonel Fitzwilliam to the mix. Now here was yet another candidate for one of her daughters... but which one? Who would be left?

Mrs. Bennet considered all the possible combinations. In fact, she stepped back, away from conversation, in order to more fully appreciate the picture presented. It was an eye-opening move. Parked at one end of the room she could see all of her girls arrayed amongst the guests and was surprised to note the partners each had chosen. Of course, there really was no surprise where Mr. Bingley was concerned. He had immediately and predictably gravitated toward Jane. Quite astonishingly, Mary was deep in discussion with the Colonel, a fact that befuddled her mother who could not imagine what topic of interest they might have in common. Kitty and Lydia had chosen to show off their sparkling natures within the circle of officers who had accompanied Colonel Fitzwilliam.

The most intriguing sight was that of Mr. Darcy who, contrary to usual practice, did not stand alone at the mantel, nor off to the side by a window, but had traversed the room with deliberation and purpose, to take up a position at Elizabeth?s elbow. Of all the daughters to whom she had given life, Mrs. Bennet did not expect her second to be of any interest whatsoever to a man the stature of Mr. Darcy. But oh, no no no no no! This simply would not do! She watched in horror as the good Mr. Collins began his approach and then seemed to literally shrivel before her eyes. His body practically folded in half in its effort to genuflect with all the dignity due the recipient of his gesture. Mr. Darcy, she thought, deserved no such consideration. Why, the best anyone could hope from him was to be viewed as tolerable! Lizzy?s expression was positively pleading, no doubt attempting to communicate to her cousin her immense desire to be separated from the company of that horrid man.

It was time for Mama to intervene.

?Lizzy, I?m sure the gentlemen would like some tea. Please be kind enough to oblige them.? Her pointed looks and indulgent smile were rewarded with a puzzled raise of eyebrows from her daughter, but Elizabeth nevertheless shrugged her shoulders and started in the direction of the tea cart. ?Oh, Mr. Collins,?she added as if it were an afterthought, ?would you mind helping her with the cups??

Darcy looked suspiciously at the retreating clergyman, wary of his inclinations and equally wary of Mrs. Bennet?s motive in arranging to be alone with him. His gaze returned to the older woman to find her studying him closely.

?Mr. Darcy, I feel it is incumbent upon me, as a mother, to whisper a word of caution at this time. You see, Mr. Collins has a great deal of respect for you and has also expressed an interest in our Lizzy. As much as we are honoured and flattered by your kind attention to Lizzy this evening, I would assure you that it is not necessary for you to?.? She fell silent suddenly, unable to miss the way the gentleman?s expression grew alarmed and his eyes sought out the young lady?s form. Instantly she changed her tack. ?It is not necessary for you to say anything to Mr. Collins directly. I will have a word with him in private and make sure that he stays out of your way.?

So great was Darcy?s relief that he hardly noticed what he said next. ?It is not that I fear Mr. Collins? efforts, madam, but that I would not like to see Elizabeth put in the position of having to hear an offer of marriage from another man, and thus be obliged to refuse him.?

Elizabeth, is it? Mrs. Bennet nearly squealed aloud in glee.

He finally turned to look at her and saw the excited light in her eyes. ?Forgive my forwardness, Mrs. Bennet. It seems that lately I have been unable to mind my own tongue. I hope I have not given offense.?

With a tongue tied up in knots, she was capable of merely shaking her head, denying any and all offense, past or present. In dazed delight did Mrs. Bennet plot out her next move, for it was imperative that Mr. Collins be disabused of his desire and redirected without delay. Upon the return of Elizabeth and the gentleman in question, teacups in hand, the kind matron communicated a pressing need to consult with him upon a matter of great importance regarding windows and fireplaces. In spite of his hope to spend more time with Elizabeth, or perhaps it was with Mr. Darcy, he smiled politely and withdrew from the field, never knowing that a field had existed.

Having at least achieved the level of privacy that a roomful of people could afford, Darcy proceeded to make as clear as possible to his intended that his opinions had undergone no transformation in the short time they were separated. How silly he would have believed this thought when he was but a single man in possession of a fortune and most definitely not wanting a wife. How silly men in love behaved, he would have said, having witnessed his friend?s oddities all too often when mere infatuations had taken hold of Bingley?s senses. Thrust into the kaleidoscopic sensations of the emotion, however, Darcy no longer considered Bingley?s actions ridiculous. He did wonder how his own words and thoughts were perceived but since he rarely put stock in others? opinions when they played no role in his own affairs, this thought was quickly pushed aside and admiration, up close, of the fair lady who had consented to be his lifetime mate took precedence.

?How lovely you look,? he whispered.

A soft blush immediately overspread her cheeks. ?If this means you will not notice the unbecoming manners of my family then please continue to gaze upon me. I shall not scold you for impertinence.?

He could almost have laughed at that accusation. Impertinence! Imprudence, yes. Yet his imprudence had been rewarded most handsomely. ?I must speak with your father soon.?

?Indeed you must,? breathed Elizabeth, forgetting just exactly where they were and how many people might be observing them.

?Darcy, what a fright you have given me!? Colonel Fitzwilliam?s presence had never been bothersome but his timing had often left much to be desired. ?What on earth happened that your horse ended up running off without you?? He frowned at the young lady by his cousin?s side.

?It was a careless misjudgement on my part,? explained Darcy, moving a little closer to Elizabeth. ?I was too far from Netherfield to return in good time.?

?Spoiling the hopes of the fair Miss Bingley, of course.? Fitzwilliam grinned. ?She was in quite a state when I left Netherfield in search of you.?

?If I may say, it does not take much for Miss Bingley to work herself into a state,? Mary quietly said. ?Different from Mama?s but easily provoked all the same.?

Her sister stared at this uncharacteristic public criticism. ?Mary,? she said, taking her by the arm. ?Perhaps the gentlemen would like a few moments to speak privately.? She hoped that Darcy would tell his cousin about their engagement as he appeared ready to burst with the news. It would be better than having him blurt it out in this roomful of gossips.

Mary was willing enough to be led away, leaving the Colonel to corner Darcy with more pressing questions. ?Is this that lady you wrote to me about? Is she the one that has you beside yourself with doubt and confusion? I say you do know how to pick them, at least. She has a marvellously entertaining family.?

?But what do you think of Elizabeth?? eagerly enquired Darcy. His enthusiasm dismissed the sting of Fitzwilliam?s comments. ?You have not yet engaged her in conversation. Her skill is unparalleled.?

?Oh come now, Darcy! You truly are blinded to everything sensible. Do you really suppose our family would accept this match? What about Georgiana?? He patted his coat. ?She has even written a letter I am charged to give to you, begging you to see reason. Do you want to read it now, before you have done something that cannot be reversed??

This piece of news aroused Darcy?s curiosity. He considered it hardly likely that his young sister would take him to task for anything, let alone voice her objections in a letter. His hand itched to take charge of the missive and see what she had to say, yet it was completely inappropriate to indulge in personal correspondence while a guest in another?s home. Georgiana?s words would have to wait. ?We may speak of this once we return to Bingley?s home, Fitzwilliam. I will not have anything upset the ladies here this evening, nor disturb my own pleasant mood. You have no idea how wonderful a day I have had!?

The Colonel?s eyes made a complete circle in his head. ?You have no idea how ominous that sounds to me! When can we leave so that I may persuade you of the absurdity of your behaviour??

?You?ve not seen absurd until you have witnessed...? Darcy leaned closer, pitching his voice into the corner, ?Mr. Collins rehearsing a marriage proposal.?

?What? Who?? Fitzwilliam followed the other man?s gaze which was directed toward the two ladies who had just left them. ?Surely not!? Darcy?s solemn nod confirmed what he feared. ?Well, he won?t be accepted.?

?Perhaps not.?

?By that you mean to have me believe that she would accept him!? The thought was not a comforting one.

?Put yourself in her position,? Darcy went on. ?Weigh the positives versus the negatives and you may just say yes yourself.?

Laughter was not Fitzwilliam?s first reaction. ?I am more firmly convinced that you are out of your wits, Darcy.?

The two young gentlemen moved away to join the others, just as another gentleman left his station behind where they had been standing. He had overheard a good portion of their discussion, ever since Darcy?s voice had been aimed in his direction. Had he intended to convey that information to the eavesdropping father? It was of little consequence, thought Mr. Bennet. If any of his daughters were foolish enough to accept the hand of one of the most ludicrous specimens of manhood then who was he to say no? Although his wife would be celebrating the union before the question left Mr. Collins? lips, there was no doubt in Mr. Bennet?s mind that the woman who chose to marry his cousin must necessarily be a candidate for Bedlam; if not when she said yes then certainly not long after uttering her vows.

This line of thinking gave him a headache and rather than announce his complaint, and risk sounding like his spouse, he chose to make a stealthy retreat to his library where a glass of port would soothe his head as well as his palate.

Continue on to Next Section

© 2006, 2007 Copyright held by the author.
Completely Inappropriate - Section III

By Teg


Beginning, Previous Section, Section III
Jump to new as of June 3, 2007
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Jump to new as of July 2, 2007


Chapter Thirteen

Posted on Sunday, 28 January 2007

There was much that needed to be said, and wanted to be said, but could not be said. Bingley would not speak with Fitzwilliam present and Darcy preferred not to announce his engagement in his friend?s presence for fear that his cousin?s inevitable diatribe would further sink Bingley?s opinions.

And so they were silent all the way back to Netherfield. Not even amusement was to be had in reviewing the events of the evening when the discovery of Lieutenant Wickham, unconscious in the garden and suffering from hypothermia, had sent Mrs. Bennet into a nervous tizzy, certain he was dead. When the unfortunate truth was revealed, he was in fact not dead, she was thrown into another round of anxious debating over the necessity of calling the apothecary.

Three gentlemen had varying opinions regarding their hostess?s attentiveness to the apparently injured Lieutenant, to the point that Darcy almost left the room and Fitzwilliam was sorely tempted to haul the victim to his feet and prove his lustiness. Elizabeth?s distress in her mother?s weak judgement being thus exposed stayed Darcy?s exit while Bingley tested his friend?s patience by voicing sympathetic remarks about imagined injuries Wickham had sustained.

When they finally managed to soothe Mrs. Bennet?s tortured nerves long enough to see that the collection of soldiers bundled up their comrade and escorted him home, there was little time left for either Bingley or Darcy to spend with their respective ladies. Adding Colonel Fitzwilliam and the remaining Bennet sisters into the mix only served to further complicate matters.

Unbeknownst to the gentlemen, Mrs. Bennet?s distraction having been removed, she turned her attention to engineering romance between her chosen pairings still in the room. Somehow she managed to persuade Kitty and Lydia to vacate the room but how to create more private arrangements for the rest of the ladies and gentlemen and then facilitate her own exit was more challenging. She certainly had no intention of terminating her efforts, of course. Eventually, through discreet manoeuvring, the three couples were placed in comfortable settings far enough apart to permit intimate conversation. Thus satisfied that this important work was done, Mrs. Bennet excused herself from their company, luring the reluctant Mr. Collins away with an absurd request for his sage advice.

To Bingley the fuss may have been spared for all he noticed the others. He was fairly oblivious to everything but Jane Bennet. If there was any conversation in their corner it was purely one sided, for Jane did attempt a question or two but the responses were identical; a sigh accompanying a pitiful sound much like a calf calling to its mother.

Next to the fireplace Colonel Fitzwilliam tugged at his collar and stole a longing glance at the window embrasure through which Lieutenant Wickham had earlier fled. Not wishing to suffer the same fate, however, he schooled his thoughts, withdrew his gaze from temptation and focussed on the young lady seated beside him.

?Um....? Not having ever felt so awkward, Fitzwilliam searched his memory for remnants of their last discussion. ?The London papers have some accurate accounts of recent skirmishes. Have you seen them??

Mary?s voice was apologetic. ?My father does not subscribe. I have occasionally seen the papers at Lucas Lodge. Sir William receives them all and when my mother takes us to visit Lady Lucas I look for them. Nobody seems to notice it is not a book in my hands.?

?How.... odd!? He could not imagine anyone not noticing Miss Mary and almost voiced the thought aloud. Fortunately the words that did emerge were less provocative, awarding him the satisfaction of seeing her smile nevertheless.

In the opposite corner Jane had seen her younger sister?s expression, wondering what type of man could make the solemn Mary look at him so tenderly. How strange it was; first Lizzy and now Mary, behaving so uncharacteristically and all because of.... men!

Turning her attention back to Mr. Bingley, Jane was reminded that her own behaviour was unquestionably good and proper. She could not be criticised for being too forward, like her youngest sisters, nor accused of letting her sense fly in the wind when a gentleman?s attentions were bestowed. No, there was nothing obvious in her response to him and yet he continued his moon-faced gazing unabated. Briefly, she imagined herself encouraging him in a manner most unladylike, then shook her head to send the wicked thoughts away.

?No? I mean to say... er... I am sorry if the idea does not appeal to you.?

Startled, Jane hastened to assure the gentleman that she had not intended a negative response at all and begged him to ask the question again.

?Well,? said Bingley, his smile returning, even if it was a little hesitant. ?Would you care to go for a carriage ride tomorrow? Perhaps Miss Elizabeth would accompany us.?

Now this was an appealing offer! ?Yes, that sounds like a delightful idea. Do you think Mr. Darcy will come, too??

?Oh.? Bingley blinked. ?I cannot say. I will ask him, of course.?

?That would be nice.? Jane motioned with her eyes to where the third couple was parked in a pair of chairs that had been drawn so close together as to appear to be one.

Again Bingley blinked, as if unable to believe what he was seeing. Could his friend be toying with yet another young lady?s feelings? Intolerable! The more he observed them together, the more his concern escalated. Whispering to Jane, he asked, ?Are you sure your sister would appreciate his company??

It was her turn to blink. With an effort not to appear forward, Jane simply said, ?I think it is clear that she likes him.?

That was not a doubt that Bingley harboured. He had no desire to see his future sister... yes, future sister, hurt by the friend whose character he suddenly did not recognise. ?I will speak with him about it later, then.? You may rest assured I will speak to him about it!

Jane?s dazzling smile sent any further thoughts scattering from his brain.

?Mr. Darcy....?

?Fitzwilliam,? he gently corrected.

Elizabeth teased him with a smile. ?My mother may have discerned the direction of your interest, Fitzwilliam, else I doubt we would find ourselves thus situated. As a matter of fact, I?m certain that, if she could have arranged it, we each might have been ushered to separate parlours.?

?Separate parlours?? He appeared confused. ?How would that have furthered her plans??

?Silly,? she laughed. ?One parlour for us, one for Jane and Bingley and another for... ? She motioned to the fireplace.

?Aha!? A fortuitous bit of distraction there, he thought. My cousin will have to mind his words more closely when he voices his objections to my marrying Elizabeth. ?I can, at least, remedy the situation for ourselves. Come,? he said, standing and offering her his hand.

Elizabeth rose, taking his hand and following him through the room to the door. She studiously ignored the gazes turned their way, although she could feel her cheeks burning.

In an astonishing example of serendipity, Colonel Fitzwilliam was looking toward the window and announced, ?I believe your carriage has arrived, Darcy.?

His hand had almost reached the door handle. ?My carriage?? Disappointment was brief, however. ?I shall have a word with my driver. Please excuse us.? Darcy ushered Elizabeth through the door ahead of him before anyone could say a thing.

?Has your carriage truly come already?? asked Elizabeth.

?I do not know,? responded the gentleman, guiding her smoothly down the hallway toward the front entrance. ?It is just as likely that Fitzwilliam fabricated the idea to prevent me leaving the room with you. Instead, it gave me a perfectly reasonable excuse.? Proud of his manoeuver, Darcy?s smug expression quickly disappeared when he saw through the window that there was, indeed, a carriage in the drive and it was unmistakably his.

Elizabeth sensed his change of mood. It may have been the frown that creased his handsome features but most likely it was the mild expletive muttered under his breath. Either way, her sympathies were engaged and instead of waiting in the warmth of the house while he went out to speak with the coachman, she snatched up the wrap which was lying on the hall table, for Lydia was always leaving her belongings lying about, and bundled herself up to ward off the chill of the night air.

Darcy had few instructions to give, mainly that the carriage should remain where it was. The gentlemen would soon be out and they could begin the drive back to Netherfield. He was therefore quite surprised upon turning toward the house once more to come face to face with a most enchanting young lady.

?Miss.... Elizabeth,? he finished with a bow. ?You will catch your death out here. Let me take you back inside.?

?Not yet.? She deftly avoided the hand reaching for her elbow. ?How pretty the moon is tonight.?

Darcy looked up into the sky but there was nothing to be seen. He was about to point this out when she spoke again.

?You can see it better from over here,? she said and began to walk away from the house in the direction opposite the carriage and its observant attendants. Darcy obediently followed.

It was somewhere in the darkened gardens that some sense finally overtook him. ?We should not be out here alone, Elizabeth. Your reputation would be in grave danger.?

?Is that all that is in danger, sir??

?No,? he smiled but the effect was lost in the shadows. ?However, it is by far the most valuable at this juncture.?

?Kiss me, Fitzwilliam, and I will allow you to take me back to the safety of the house.? Elizabeth held her breath, not entirely sure how her teasing would be received.

It seemed a long time before she could breathe again.

?Will that do, madam?? Darcy?s voice was raspy beside her ear.

?Oh, I think that will do very well, sir.? She added, impishly, ?For now.?

?Tell me,? he began as they slowly made their way back to the front door. ?Should I accustom myself to such spontaneous displays of affection or will your interest fade once you have gained the title of wife??

Playfully, she slapped his arm. ?You think me so shallow, sir? Some fortune hunter I would make, transparent as glass and nowhere near as polished.?

?Polished! My dear, you outshine even the ?.?

?Do not say the stars, please!? Elizabeth laughed.

Joining in her amusement, Darcy shook his head. ?I have said and done some ridiculous things of late but I hope enough sense remains to avoid such obvious faux pas as that.?

They had reached the front step and Elizabeth halted before they entered the house. ?You need not fear anything I might think of your words or actions, Fitzwilliam. I know your heart is true. I would be remiss if I did not remind you that my mother, and more importantly, my father, are not so privileged to understand your character as well.?

Darcy acknowledged her warning with a nod. ?Tomorrow I shall address your father,? he firmly pronounced. He would need the intervening time to prepare himself.

On the other side of the door they were startled to find Mrs. Bennet, clearly anticipating their entrance and with a light in her eyes to rival the north star. Darcy mentally berated himself for that comparison.

?You are not leaving now, Mr. Darcy?? She peered around him as if to confirm the presence of the carriage through the open door. ?Lizzy, were you warm enough out there?? Something in her tone implied that the question was rhetorical.

?I regret to say that it has grown later than I realised and my friends and I must be on our way. Thank you, Mrs. Bennet, for your gracious hospitality. Not one of us was an expected guest in your home today yet your welcome was most warmly felt.?

The length of this speech, from a man who was known for responding in monosyllables rather than full sentences, sent the recipient into a flutter of emotion. ?Why thank you, Mr. Darcy, for your kind compliments. You know you are welcome at Longbourn any time.?

?Mama, we should inform the other gentlemen that Mr. Darcy?s carriage is here,? interrupted Elizabeth before the flattery got out of hand.

Reluctantly, she agreed. The others greeted the news with as much enthusiasm as a trip to the dentist but within a few minutes the farewells were made and the gentlemen settled into their seats, trying not to look at one another. Instead, their minds were filled with images of the young ladies whose company they had just left behind, wondering what they might be doing and if their recollections of the evening were as pleasant.

This could not last forever, unfortunately, nor even for the length of the trip to Netherfield. Each of them had other thoughts which pressed upon their consciences and which must wait for a more private and comfortable venue to confront. As the carriage drew nearer to their destination the restlessness in the compartment was apparent in the shifting feet, shifting eyes and shifting bottoms.

The conveyance came to a stop, the door opened and they all looked at one another to see who would be the first to move.


Chapter Fourteen

Posted on Sunday, 4 February 2007

?Such a wonderful thing for our girls!?

Mr. Bennet turned away, sighing heavily. ?Yes, and as I recall, you said that when Mr. Bingley first came into the neighbourhood. Now you have had the pleasure of a roomful of single young men this very evening. What is your prognosis??

?We shall have three daughters married.?

?Only three? Why not four?? he sniffed.

Mrs. Bennet looked confused. ?Four? Who have I forgotten??

?Well, there is Mr. Bingley, of course. Did you prefer to leave Mr. Darcy to the wolves? Mr. Collins to the sheep; or would that be the donkey?? he mused, looking at a remote spot on the ceiling. ?Mr. Darcy?s cousin had potential, I thought, but you may have other ideas. Were none of the officers to your liking? We might have gotten shut of all the girls at once.?

?Oh, you are too vexing! As attractive as they are, I cannot be so selfish and lay claim to them all. Frankly, not all of them are deserving of one of our daughters.? She set her nose high and pursed her lips.

Her husband nodded appreciatively. ?Well, I never thought I?d live to hear you say that.? His own opinion was that no man was good enough for at least one of his daughters. The array that had presented itself that evening did not impress him at all. ?Which of our girls will be the fortunate ones??

?Jane, Lizzy and Mary,? was the prompt reply.

Wincing, he offered his own prediction. ?Jane will say yes. Mary... well, that will certainly depend upon the gentleman?s talent for proposing, and Lizzy will decline.?

Mrs. Bennet had better information. She had no intention of sharing it yet, however. ?She had best not if she knows what is good for her!?

?I dare say Lizzy has always known what is best for her. She does not need her parents to tell her what?s what.?

His wife?s resolution did not last long. ?She has already accepted him.?

Mr. Bennet stared openly at her. ?Forgive me. I seem to have a little trouble hearing. You were agreeing with me that Lizzy would not accept the man.?

?I was not. If she has not said yes she most certainly will tomorrow for if she does not then I will have a serious talk with her!? A handkerchief suddenly materialised and began waving under Mrs. Bennet?s nose. ?Lizzy cannot expect to go around kissing men in the garden and then have it all come to naught!?

?She did what?? Mr. Bennet left his chair so quickly that it fell backward, crashing to the floor. ?Surely you are mistaken, madam!?

Fussing with the sleeves of her gown, the good lady was in no hurry to contradict her story. ?I believe I know a kiss when I see one... or two.? Then she clapped her hands together gleefully. ?It is too wonderful but we must see that Mr. Bingley gets the opportunity to propose without interruption.?

?Bingley!? her husband nearly spat. ?What has Mr. Bingley to do with Lizzy? Did you not have him destined for Jane all along??

?But of course he will marry Jane! What are you talking about? Stop confusing me!? Impatiently, Mrs. Bennet flounced to the door. ?Do not object to Lizzy?s engagement, Mr. Bennet. It doesn?t matter that you don?t like the young man. Lizzy will be secure and so will all of her sisters when she marries him.?

The objections were on his tongue but the door was closed before they made it past his lips. Mr. Bennet sat down heavily in his chair, casting a frown toward the fire burning in the grate. ?Worthless young men, the lot of them. Jane and Bingley will do well enough together but Lizzy.... She cannot be serious about this marriage and if she is, then I will make her understand the folly of her decision.?

Fitzwilliam made it to the foot of the stairs before his cousin and stood, blocking his way. ?Why don?t we have a drink before we join the others?? His arm was almost casually cast across the open space beside him, indicating the library where he and Bingley had earlier conversed. ?We have some matters to discuss.?

Bingley appeared ready to join them but Darcy shook his head. ?Perhaps you should ease your sister?s mind and inform her of our return.? The last thing he wanted was for Miss Bingley to interrupt them with her fawning attentions when she heard he was safe and sound at home.

His hesitation was momentary but Bingley agreed, waiting first to see that the others really did retreat to the library before he went in search of Caroline.

Darcy poured the drinks while his cousin attempted to address the most pressing subject.

?You know why I am here,? Fitzwilliam began. ?Your letter put me in quite a panic, the expressions it contained. Am I too late to prevent you from making that horrible mistake you feared committing??

Darcy could not help smiling. ?I was wrong to write to you with such ideas. I was completely misled in my thinking. The only mistake I was in danger of making was losing the opportunity to gain the hand of the most excellent young woman I have ever met.?

?I am too late,? groaned his cousin. ?Here, Darcy, could my father not repair any damage done? Come away with me and give yourself some time to think, outside the influence of her spell.?

Shaking his head again, Darcy chuckled. ?You still do not understand, Fitzwilliam. I am past the point of any danger. Everything is settled; everything but her father?s blessing but that I shall seek tomorrow.?

?You do not care what I think, then? What of Georgiana or the rest of your family??

?I do care, cousin. I care insofar as how their opinions will affect Elizabeth?s peace of mind. I do not wish to cause strife amongst my relations but if none are willing to accept my choice of bride then it is a cross they will have to bear, not I.? He was quite pleased with this speech and was amused to see the other man?s astonishment manifest itself in the dropping of his jaw.

?Are my ears deceiving me? Darcy, you have always been at leisure to have things your own way but how can you so simply dismiss all the concerns of your closest family?? Withdrawing the slip of folded paper from his pocket, the Colonel brandished it under Darcy?s nose. ?Read what your sister has to say about it. She was in a quite a state when I left her, believe me!?

The note was short. So brief, in fact, that its recipient had no trouble discerning the intent behind it. Darcy laughed. His laughter grew until he was doubled over, the missive secure between two fingers. Annoyed, Fitzwilliam snatched the paper to see what it contained.


Marry her!
Groaning in disgust at his own foolishness in believing Georgiana would be of the same mind as himself, for she was but a child still, he crumpled the paper into a ball and tossed it toward the empty fire grate. The move was as effective as his the rest of his efforts.

Darcy retrieved it, smoothing the wrinkles and folding the paper once again. Pocketing it, he smirked in the Colonel?s direction and sat down in a nearby chair. Calmly, he sipped his drink and watched the frown form on Fitzwilliam?s face.

?How can you just sit there like that? You look like ....?

?Like what?? asked Darcy with one raised eyebrow.

?Smug like a highwayman who has made off with the Crown Jewels!? he finished with a pout.

?What I have won is far more valuable than mere jewels, my friend. Do not roll your eyes. I have not lost my wits. No, I have not! Stop grinning like that!?

Fitzwilliam could not help himself. The more he listened to the absurd remarks of his lovesick cousin, the more ridiculous it seemed. ?If you could just hear yourself, Darcy, you would be grinning, too. What is it about these Misses Bennet that make men behave like fools??

Darcy did not fail to notice the plural and was not above remarking upon it. ?I willingly confess to my own foolishness since meeting Elizabeth but I cannot say that I noticed your behaviour was anything out of the ordinary.?

The Colonel flushed from the tips of his ears down to his... well, the most that could be seen was where his collar met his neck. ?I was referring to you and Bingley. You can leave me out of this.?

?No, no. You brought it up and I will say that Miss Mary appeared to be of more than moderate interest to you. Still, you showed no ill effects. You did not behave the fool.? Darcy made a study of his fingernails. ?There is always tomorrow, however.?

?Tomorrow I will be in London.? He did not look very confident.

Darcy shrugged. ?As you say.?

?I do say and will thank you to keep your thoughts to yourself.? Looking more than a bit flustered, he added, ?I mean, please do not speak of this to your Miss Bennet. I would not wish the other Miss Bennet to be... er...?

?Disappointed?? suggested Darcy.

?That is hardly likely to happen either way. Oh, stop putting words in my mouth!? Abruptly, Fitzwilliam began to pace to the window and back.

It was exactly the sight calculated to encourage Bingley to speak as soon as he entered. ?Ah, you have taken him to task already. I say, Darcy, you have certainly been a bit of a dark horse. I never suspected anything all these years.?

?Suspected anything?? Darcy rose from his seat to his full height. ?What does that mean??

Suddenly reminded of just how aweful a figure his friend could present, Bingley put his indignation aside and concentrated on sounding stern. ?I am sure I need not remind you of what I witnessed in this very room only a few nights ago. I would like to know what you intend to do about it. No, actually I want to know what you were doing tonight, giving Miss Elizabeth reason to believe you have an interest in her.? He crossed his arms and gave every appearance of waiting to hear a satisfactory explanation.

By this time Fitzwilliam had a keen interest in what was being said. ?Well I have no idea what happened here. Perhaps you would care to fill me in, Bingley??

Torn between embarrassment and honour, he worded his reply very carefully. ?I entered the library thinking it was empty, only to find it was not. Darcy and a young lady were in here.?

The Colonel?s gaze turned to his cousin. ?I do hope it was the same young lady of whom we were just speaking!?

Puffing out his chest indignantly, Darcy spoke with precision. ?You two would paint me as a libertine with all of this nonsense. Can a man not just fall in love with a woman and be permitted to show himself the fool without being called out for it??

?In love? Who is this lady, Darcy? I demand that you inform me at once! Such carrying on in my house and I see you flirting with Miss Elizabeth, my future sister! I will not stand for this!? Bingley?s face was red with the effort of his speech.

?Calm yourself, Bingley. The lady is one and the same and before you excite yourself further, I have proposed to her and been accepted. There! Are you satisfied now?? His chin came up proudly but the effect was that he looked down his nose at the other two men.

?Proposed?? his stunned friend repeated. ?Marriage??

At that Fitzwilliam hooted and slapped his thigh with one hand. ?Do you really suppose Darcy would propose anything else??

Bingley?s red face was due to embarrassment this time. ?Well, no. It?s just... your behaviour was so unexpectedly out of character that I did not know exactly what to think.?

?I do not find it very comforting that you so easily doubt me after all the years of our acquaintance, Bingley. Perhaps you would do me the favour of answering my question?? Darcy?s eyes took on a mischievous glint. ?As the future brother of Miss Bennet I now ask you what your intentions are toward the young lady. You have had some time to consider the situation and my advice to you. What is your decision??

?I have not changed my mind, Darcy. I want to make Jane Bennet my wife and hope she shares this wish.? There was nothing in Bingley?s stance to indicate that his confidence had waned. If anything, it appeared to have grown stronger.

?Well then, that leaves only one more question.? Darcy turned his attention toward his cousin. ?The Bennet ladies have two future brothers in this room. Bingley, as one of those brothers I advise that you join me in asking Fitzwilliam what designs he has upon our sister, Miss Mary Bennet.?

?Miss Mary....?? Bingley stood blinking, uncomprehending.

Not willing to be put on the spot, the Colonel simply laughed. ?You two have stars in your eyes, seeing romances everywhere. I have no designs on your future sister and fully intend to leave for town in the morning. Now you can both rest easy.?

?She will be disappointed,? murmured Darcy to his friend. ?Perhaps even more than disappointed.?

?Has he led her on?? Bingley exclaimed. ?How did I not see what was happening? Fitzwilliam, you only arrived today and have already claimed the young lady?s heart? How callous can you be, leaving so quickly??

?Nothing of the sort has occurred!? he objected. ?I must insist that you stop this immediately. I will not be subjected to matchmaking from any parties but my own mother and sisters!? Before any further remarks could be made, he made a hasty retreat from the room, saying over his shoulder, ?Please excuse me but I am quite tired from the day?s trials and shall retire immediately.? The door did not quite slam behind him.

?Miss Mary,? said Bingley in a stupefied tone. ?Really??

?Oh, I don?t know.? Darcy settled into his chair once more. ?They seemed to be getting along rather well this evening. Why not? It keeps him out of my business at any rate.?

Bingley was all wonderment again. ?You are engaged to Miss Elizabeth! I would never have guessed she was the young woman in here with you... kissing you! I mean.. Darcy! Whatever possessed you??

?If you do not know by now, Bingley, surely I am unable to enlighten you.?


Chapter Fifteen

Posted on Sunday, 8 April 2007

Mr. Bennet stopped his daughter on her way out for her morning walk. ?Lizzy, I would like a word with you, please.? He gave her no time to become comfortable, for the matter was serious and unpleasant. ?Your mother informs me that you are soon to be engaged, if not engaged already. Is this true??

Panic took hold of Elizabeth. Had her mother spoken of Mr. Collins? obvious intention despite her equally obvious unwillingness to hear him out? The hesitation was enough to encourage him to continue without interruption.

?I will be plain, Lizzy. I know what happened in the garden for she witnessed it and has related the details to me with great delight.? His frown marked a deeper line across his brow. ?It pains me to know that you have been subjected to such improper behaviour for without a doubt the gentleman prevailed upon your most unwilling participation. No, do not thank me for taking up your cause in this. Your mother would have you marry him simply for the distinction of having one daughter well disposed of. It is evident that if the man is brazen enough to force himself upon you in the garden of your own home, then he is not to be trusted. I will not consent to any marriage even had he owned all the tea in China!?

This lengthy speech left Elizabeth so stunned by the content that she once again hesitated, trying to get her thoughts organised to present an argument that would surely persuade her father to give his blessing to the union.

Taking his daughter?s hand in his, Mr. Bennet sat down next to her, remorse written in the lines of his face. ?You are a good girl, Lizzy, but I will not have you sacrifice your happiness to ensure that of your mother and sisters.?

?Papa,? she finally managed to say. ?I know that impressions of him have not been complimentary, and that even I have said some unflattering things ?.?

?Do not make excuses,? her father interrupted. ?Not for him nor for yourself; certainly not for your mother. She may be willing to accept such an unequal match for you but I will not. The matter ends here, Lizzy.? He stood and, with one hand, smoothed the hair on her head. ?You may tell him to spare the effort in asking me.?

Elizabeth opened her mouth to further object but it was clear that he wanted to hear no more. Stunned, she left him to his port and sought the comfort of a familiar walk.

Early in the morning the Colonel attempted to slip out of the house undetected. He had spent a restless night, torn between the desire to escape and his duty to his cousin. By the time sunlight was visible on the horizon his resistance was low, the better part of valour most definitely retreat.

?I beg your pardon, Colonel Fitzwilliam!? a surprised Miss Bingley squeaked upon encountering the gentleman crossing the foot of the stairs.

He bowed politely. ?Good morning, Miss Bingley. You are an early riser, too, I see.?

Hardly wishing to admit that her true purpose in appearing at that hour was to intercept Mr. Darcy before he could disappear again, she replied with a question. ?Were you planning to ride before breakfast, sir??

?Ride?? He nearly stuttered out the word before regaining control of his tongue and his thoughts. ?No, the early rising is a habit.?

She glanced at his clothing, noting the breeches, boots and particularly the riding crop shifting from one hand to the other. ?A habit. I see.?

Fitzwilliam quickly extended his arm. ?May I escort you to the breakfast room, Miss Bingley?? The gesture was so impulsive that he neglected to make provision for the small whip in his hand. The tip of it smacked against the lady?s wrist.

There was a short squeak of surprise, then Caroline was rubbing her wrist to relieve the smarting. ?Are you always so clumsy?? she demanded irritably.

?I am dreadfully sorry,? the Colonel apologised, all humility. The crop fell to the floor. ?May I see the damage? It might need attention.?

Doubtfully, she placed her hand in his and watched as he examined the gradually reddening welt on the inside of her wrist. This close observation disturbed her. No-one had ever before stared at her person with such concentration! There was a moment of horrifying dizziness when the gentleman?s fingers touched the mark on her skin, but then it was gone just as quickly.

Releasing her, Fitzwilliam pronounced her fit for duty, extending his arm more carefully with his invitation to escort her to the breakfast room.

Miss Bingley carefully folded her hands behind her back and stepped forward, instead, to show him the way. She did not look back, which was just as well for she would not have known what to make of the expression on his face. It was equally fortunate that the breakfast room was empty but for two servants just bringing in the first of the cold dishes. They were not quick enough, nor disciplined enough, to cover their surprise at seeing the lady of the house appear so early. The clatter of a lid brought the butler out of hiding to quietly scold the culprit for his clumsiness.

Taking a seat, Caroline beckoned to the Colonel to sit down, hoping that he would select a chair a respectable distance away from her own. She was not so fortunate as that. However, before the gentleman could say more than a few words of inconsequential chatter their impromptu tÄ™te á tÄ™te was put to an end when the lady?s brother joined them.

?I say, Caroline, you are up early!? cried Bingley upon entering the room. He frowned slightly in Fitzwilliam?s direction. ?Have you been alone for very long??

Noting the direction of his gaze, Miss Bingley protested. ?Oh, Charles, do not be so stuffy. Colonel Fitzwilliam and I encountered each other in the hallway, en route to breakfast.? Subconsciously, she rubbed her wrist. ?Do not allow your imagination to get the better of you.?

?Just how would you know what I may be imagining?? He frowned again, more sternly this time and still in the direction of the Colonel.

?Pour yourself a cup of coffee and join us,? said his sister. ?Perhaps we will have some civilised conversation after you have eaten something.?

He might have protested but did not. The sight of Fitzwilliam snickering behind one hand was enough to send Bingley?s aroused fraternal feelings into confusion and his tongue into silence.

?I believe,? began Caroline after a short pause, ?that the weather is expected to be fine today. Perhaps an excellent day for a trip back to town.?

A fork clattered. ?I just came back from there!? cried her brother. ?Surely you do not expect me to drop everything and take you now??

?Surely you do not expect me to travel there by myself!? she huffed. Primping her sleeves, Caroline continued. ?I suppose Louisa may be able to talk her husband into accompanying us but really Charles, it is just too much!?

?You should have thought of it when I had gone a few days ago. I am not leaving again so soon and that?s final.? His gaze abruptly lit upon the Colonel, narrowing slightly as his thoughts churned. ?What are your plans today??

Fitzwilliam blinked. ?Are you asking me to take your sister to town??

?Certainly not! What a question!?

?Oh, don?t be ridiculous.? Caroline had lost track of the spoonfuls of sugar she had added to her tea. Upon lifting it to her lips the taste was enough to cause her to gag. Her reaction brought both gentlemen to their feet, although neither had any idea what to do. Impatiently, she waved them away, finally regaining her voice enough to say, ?Never mind about town. Another day.? The sound was very much a croak and caused Bingley to wince. ?Sit down,? she croaked again.

They sat, neither looking at the other, and picked up their forks. Oblivious to each other, the two gentlemen attended to their breakfast in unison. Miss Bingley felt the urge to laugh at the sight but quelled it, knowing that would only provoke another round of coughing.

It wasn?t long before the rest of the household joined them. The conversation changed direction to include the newest members. Much to Miss Bingley?s distaste, the Bennet family occupied much of the dialogue between the three gentlemen near her.

?When do you plan to go to Longbourn today?? The question was posed by Colonel Fitzwilliam
and directed toward his cousin.

?I defer to my friend for he has business there this morning.? Darcy?s smile was more for himself, however, as he considered the welcome that would await his own arrival.

Bingley studied the other man curiously. ?Do you not also have business.. I mean, were you not planning to speak with Mr. Bennet today??

Clearing his throat, Darcy replied with a quick glance in Miss Bingley?s direction, ?Mmm, yes.? Another glance, this time at his cousin, brought forth a sly comment. ?Of course, Fitzwilliam may also find something to occupy his attention at Longbourn.?

?You mean someone, don?t you?? added Bingley.

?Your insinuations are completely unfounded,? the Colonel growled, ?not to mention inappropriate in present company.? His smile was weak when he turned his gaze on the lady beside him.

She was oblivious to his meaning, however. ?Oh, not another one!?

Mrs. Hurst ventured into the fray. ?Of course, my darling. It must be the young Miss Lydia for you know how fond she is of red coats and officers.? She smiled brilliantly at the Colonel. ?You have dazzled her, naturally, and now must return to claim her before some other officer catches her eye.?

?That presumes Miss Lydia to be a very fickle young lady. Hardly the kind that would endear herself to me,? sniffed Fitzwilliam unconvincingly.

Mrs. Hurst sniggered behind one delicate hand. ?I do believe I am right.?

It was enough for the Colonel. ?I was planning to return to London after breakfast but now I feel it is my duty to disprove all of you. I shall not be leaving and, instead, will go with Darcy and Bingley to the Bennet home to show you this talk is all nonsense.?

Bingley?s hands came together with enthusiasm. ?I am finished. Shall we go now?? He looked over at his friend who had only just raised a spoon to his mouth. ?Well? What do you say, Darcy??

?I say it is too early to be visiting. Sit down and finish your toast, Bingley.? Although the temptation was strong, Darcy conquered the urge to throw down his spoon and rush to the stables. He would have preferred nothing better than to see Elizabeth so bright and early in the morning but the social ramifications of such a breech of etiquette were to be avoided. The unhappy alternative was to watch his friends and cousin as they consumed a meal that he considered devoid of any taste and wait for the clock to sound an hour that was amenable.

Elizabeth returned to a house filled with laughter. In spite of herself she poked her head around the door to the sitting room to find all of her sisters and their mother within. Of all the faces, Jane?s was the most solemn, looking severely harassed. There was no doubt in Elizabeth?s mind that her elder sister had been subjected to their mother?s favourite pastime and that Jane was suffering acute embarrassment as well as irritation. The plea in her eyes was obvious. Elizabeth sat down beside her.

?Well, Lizzy,? said her mother upon finally noticing the new arrival. ?It is good that you have returned for we were just discussing what to do about Mr. Collins. Clearly he cannot stay here any longer. He is just in the way now! How can Mr. Bingley find a moment to propose to Jane with Mr. Collins hovering about, constantly and annoyingly??

Constantly annoying was a description that fit more than one person at Longbourn, was Elizabeth?s first thought. Fortunately she had better control of her tongue than some. ?Mr. Collins is not going to be in Jane?s way, Mama.? Before Mrs. Bennet could speak again, she added, ?Nor is he likely to be anyone?s way. I saw him walking toward Meryton on my way back home.?

?Did he have his donkey with him?? giggled Kitty.

?Judge not lest ye be judged,? Mary warned.

Kitty?s forehead wrinkled. ?What is that supposed to mean? I am not judging anyone, least of all Mr. Collins. He will find his own judgement without any help from us.?

?He has gone searching for it this morning, apparently,? chortled Lydia.

?Glass houses,? Mary muttered under her breath.

Elizabeth felt compelled to interrupt the ridiculous argument. ?There was no donkey.?

?I wonder where it went,? mused Mrs. Bennet. The thought was irrelevant to the matter at hand, however. ?Now, what was I saying? Oh, yes. Thank you Lizzy for that information. It is well timed, well timed indeed! Now, when Mr. Bingley arrives today you shall offer to show him the gardens, unless he has planned to take you out in the carriage right away. In fact, that might be a better idea. You should tell him you want to go out immediately, Jane. That will be perfect!? She became lost in her own musings and paid no attention to the objections of her daughters. ?I must speak with Hill about dinner. Mr. Bingley will, of course, be staying. Oh, Lizzy!?

Startled to hear her name, Elizabeth was nevertheless quick to respond. ?I am sure it will not be difficult to convince him to stay for dinner.?

?No, no,? her mother waved. ?It is about Mr. Darcy that I am wondering. He is coming today, too, is he not??

?Oh no!? cried Lydia. ?I am not going to be foisted off on him, Mama! You cannot force me!?

?Hush girl! You do not enter into it. Lizzy is the one who interests him and he could not have chosen better.? The smug smile was turned fully on her new favourite daughter.

Elizabeth looked away and wished herself even farther away. That is, until she saw the carriage through the window. Then she didn?t know whether to sit still or spring from her chair to the door. Jane was fidgety, Mary like a statue, while Lydia practically ran from the room in a pique after Mrs. Bennet?s dismissal of her candidacy. Kitty pressed the creases from her skirt, then folded her hands in her lap.

?Well, girls,? announced their mother in an excited whisper. ?This is it!?

Chapter Sixteen

The carriage was empty.

Colonel Fitzwilliam peered inside, looking back at his companions with a shrug of his shoulders.

?You do not suppose...? began Darcy.

?What should I suppose?? Bingley enquired. ?Whose carriage is this??

Fitzwilliam happily supplied the answer. ?It belongs to our aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.?

?What on earth would she be doing here??

?I can only suppose she got wind of my engagement to Miss Elizabeth and has come to settle the matter in her own way.? Darcy?s face contorted with the degree of enthusiasm he had for a meeting so described.

Bingley, however, shook his head. ?It may be entirely coincidental. Did you not tell me just the other day that your aunt was in ??? His mouth stopped moving as both he and the Colonel watched Darcy actually run to the front doors of the house. Furthering their surprise was the rapidity with which he opened the door, not waiting to knock or be announced, and disappeared through the opening.

?I think we had better...?

?Yes,? replied Bingley as both sprang into a run themselves.

They were brought up sharply just inside the entrance by the presence of a large body blocking the path.

?Good morning.? There was a distinctly odd look in Mr. Bennet?s eye. ?I believe you are expected,? he said, one arm extended in the direction of the morning room.

Fitzwilliam tipped his hat, then hurriedly removed it, extending his own arm to give his companion a reminder to take off his hat. Bingley yelped at the poke in the ribs but quickly complied.

As the two young gentlemen slipped away into the house, Mr. Bennet chuckled. Following them at a discreet distance was his aim. There was no sense in missing the initial reaction from the ladies within.

No disappointment was to be had. The traffic in the room was brisk. Ladies crossed one way, gentlemen the other, until pairs had been formed and the two matrons stood alone at one end, surveying the arrangement. Mr. Bennet studied the scene, wondering what the two women could possibly have in common to end up together as if they had been lifelong friends. He had long known his wife?s character; a frivolous woman but one with her heart in the right direction even if her sense failed to follow. Yet the other lady, only recently met, was as unlikely a comrade as ever there could be. Imperious was the best descriptor, and as stubbornly opinionated as one might expect with a nose so highly elevated. The games were about to begin. Mr. Bennet quickly took a seat where a full view of the action was available.

Mrs. Bennet and her newfound friend had their heads together in a most serious discussion. If the sight had not been so ludicrous, Mr. Bennet might have been concerned. There was nothing to fear with this pair, however. Whatever misdeeds they were planning could not affect him. He was steadfast in his decision and not even the illustrious Lady Catherine de Bourgh would dictate to him! This thought gave him indigestion, however, and only the timely entrance of Hill with a gaggle of kitchenmaids behind her, all carrying trays laden with pastries, fruit and teapots, could restore his appetite. Once the food was stationary, the young ladies began to pour, the young men gathering about them like bees at sweet flowers. The thought of watching such behaviour was tiresome to Mr. Bennet, his own days of like activities long behind him. Gathering up a cup of tea and a plate of delicacies, he fled to his library before his wife and her accomplice could embroil him in their plot.

Close on his heels was someone else who was not only persistent but of able assistance when the door was before him. Mr. Bennet saw the hand on the knob and a low voice quietly utter an ?allow me, please?. Once inside the room he directed his guest to a chair, casting a quick, longing glance at the bottle of port on the side table.

?Can I offer you a drink?? he finally asked.

?Thank you, no.?

Silence.

?What can I offer you, then?? Mr. Bennet was hesitant until an idea struck him. It did not appeal. ?You?ve come about Lizzy.? There it was; surprise. It was somewhat satisfying to have surprised the cocky young man. ?You need not elaborate. You can offer me nothing in this exchange.?

?You have not yet heard my proposal,? a perplexed Darcy said.

?Oh, I am sure you will tell me it is one I cannot, or should not, refuse! This is my Lizzy you?re bartering for, however. The man who is fortunate enough to have her will be worthy enough to win her. I do not believe that to be the case in this instance. Nor do I believe you have anything to say that will alter my opinion.? The challenge was upon the table. Mr. Bennet prepared himself for the inevitable argument. The younger man appeared to be chewing over an answer.

Darcy?s sigh told little of the exasperation he felt. ?Your daughter?s opinion means nothing to you, then? Has she no choice in this??

?Choice? Some think she has no choice. I am giving her a choice by refusing my consent to this charade.?

?But she had already made her choice,? explained Darcy, patiently. ?Are her wishes not deserving of your respect??

Bristling, Mr. Bennet leaned across the desk?s surface. ?Not if the man she has chosen is unworthy of my respect.?

Darcy blinked, his figure straight and tall. ?If you would allow me to point out, sir, your daughter is strong minded. She may defy your decision and would be within her rights to do so.?

?Rights? What are you talking about, rights? She is my daughter and will do as I tell her.? A short pause ensued as Mr. Bennet?s gaze narrowed and he shook a finger at the other man. ?I can well imagine you would feel the same way regarding your young sister.?

A deep flush overspread Darcy?s cheeks. He had never had cause to order Georgiana about nor could he imagine doing so. She was not the sort of girl who required such heavy handed discipline. At the same time, however, he knew all too well the kind of disappointment felt when she had come very close to making an irreversible, terribly wrong decision. ?I believe you may rest assured that Miss Elizabeth is not a foolish young lady who takes this subject lightly,? he finally said.

?Unlike some of her sisters??

Darcy nodded. ?Youth may excuse some things, sir, but not all.? He swallowed and flushed again, the image of Elizabeth?s calves exposed in the Netherfield library rising up from nowhere.

Unexpectedly, Mr. Bennet chuckled. ?You are no stranger to the follies of youth, Mr. Darcy??

?If I may be so bold, sir, none of us can claim to be free of behaving foolishly at one time or another in our lives.?

?That is certainly true.? With a grimace he continued, ?Thoughtless, rash and inconsiderate is not the same, however.?

Darcy felt a shiver of apprehension. ?Do you refer to something in particular, sir??

Mr. Bennet nodded. ?Presumptuous, dishonourable actions. A kiss in the garden.?

?The garden? It was not only in the garden,? announced Darcy, chin high. ?At Netherfield as well, during the ball.?

?What!? Mr. Bennet was on his feet in a flash. ?At the ball? And no offer was made at that time??

?I ?.?

The older man was pacing the floor, however. ?What next? A daring foray under my very roof??

?Certainly not!?

?Yet here you stand, urging me to willingly send my daughter into the clutches of a man who would engage in such deceitful practices,? Mr. Bennet accused. ?Would you offer your own sister in this manner??

His thoughts in turmoil, Darcy said the first thing that came to mind. ?If I was assured that the gentleman?s motivations and feelings were honourable and true, then I could have no objection.?

?Hah! Well, that is something yet to be proven to me and until it is, Elizabeth will not be receiving my permission, nor my blessing.?

?Is that your final word, sir??

?It is.?

Darcy stood, his tall form imposing in the confined space. ?Then I shall know how to act.?

?Am I to understand that you will undertake to prove the worthiness ???

?Yes.? Suddenly the sense of command resurfaced. ?You will be in no doubt of how completely appropriate this match will be. I shall not rest until you are convinced.?

Mr. Bennet was left with a slight uneasiness at the confidence displayed by Darcy. After all, he was well aware of his own weakness in the area of giving in when subjected to so much begging and whining. How long would he be able to hold out under the combined efforts of all parties?

?His mind is made up. He will not listen.? Elizabeth sighed in frustration, her pleasing figure rising and falling with the effort.

With the concentrated efforts of Mrs. Bennet, three young couples managed to find time alone. Relatively alone. The garden was spacious enough for private conversation but not privacy from curious eyes.

Darcy observed Elizabeth in silence for a moment. ?What are you saying? Would you go against your father?s wishes or do you prefer to wait until I may win his approval??

?I would rather his approval be gained than his surrender under the onslaught of my mother?s pleas.? Elizabeth?s concern was visible in not only her expression but in the way she worried at the lace of her sleeve with her fingers.

Stilling her hands with his own, Darcy squeezed them gently. ?To be honest, I do not care how your father?s consent is obtained. If need be, I would do without if you agreed to marry me without his blessing.? His smile softened the implications of his remark.

?I never imagined he would object this strongly. Oh, Fitzwilliam,? she whispered. ?What recourse would we have? What sort of scandal would it bring upon both our families if we married in that fashion??

?You shall have exactly the wedding you wish, my dear. There will be no scandal apart from what would normally be expected by my choosing a lady from outside my social sphere. We are both willing and able to withstand that.? A quick glance around assured him that there were no immediate onlookers and so Darcy quickly pressed her fingers to his lips. ?I must away to London, to my solicitor, if I am to prove to your father that my intentions are honourable and my love for you solid and true. You shall want for nothing, I promise.?

Smiling shyly, Elizabeth teased, ?My mother will be pleased, no doubt. As for my father, he cannot possibly continue in his objection under the joined forces of our determination.? Impishly, she added, ?How much pin money did you say I could have??

?Cheeky girl!? laughed Darcy. ?I am eager to inform Georgiana of our understanding as soon as possible. She will no doubt wish to return with me and meet you for herself.?

?She does not hold the power to change your mind, does she? What if she does not like me??

?Who could not like you??

?I recall a certain young gentlemen who found me not handsome enough at one time.?

?He was clearly not in possession of his faculties, Miss Bennet. Do not assume the fault was yours.?

It was a perfect moment for an expression of their feelings but unfortunately a distraction was inevitable. It came in the form of an excited Mr. Bingley and Jane.

?I have done it!? he announced in a hushed voice as they appeared behind the bench on which the other couple was sitting. ?And Jane has accepted me!?

?Congratulations!? said Darcy, not too put out by the interruption. ?May I be the first to wish you joy, Miss Bennet??

?Thank you,? she replied, very softly.

?Jane, this is wonderful!? Elizabeth warmly embraced her sister. ?Mama will not know what to do first. We shall throw her into such turmoil!?

That was a sobering thought, though not so sober that Bingley forgot his next mission.

?I must speak with your father now,? he managed to say above the others? laughter.

?Yes, you must,? agreed Darcy. ?Best do it now before anyone else hears the news.?

?You are absolutely right.? Bingley grabbed Jane?s hand and kissed it soundly. ?I will not be long.?

They watched him skip off toward the house, Darcy silently wishing him luck. Mr. Bennet had turned out to be a more difficult mark than he had anticipated. He truly hoped that his friend was not confronted with any obstacles to his happiness. Miss Bingley would be enough to bear.

There was another commotion heard behind them. Jane and Elizabeth looked at one another.

?Mary,? they said, too late in raising hands to cover their mouths. The word had escaped.


Chapter Seventeen

Posted on Sunday, 27 May 2007

Lydia had seen it all from her bedroom window; the pacing of Mr.Bingley in the garden before he fell to his knee and gazed at Jane, all adoration. It had made Lydia giggle.

Then she turned her gaze to Lizzy and her suitor. Yes, their mother had been right. Mr. Darcy was definitely bestowing a great deal of attention on her sister.

?That suits me just fine,? she said to the distant couple. ?You can have her Mr. Tall Dark and Miserable. I prefer a gentleman who knows how to speak to a lady, who dances and... what?s this?? Her nose pressed against the glass in her effort to see the figures in the farthest part of the garden. ?It?s not Mary!? She moved away, then pressed her nose on the pane again. ?It is Mary! Well, she?s not going to land a redcoat before I do!?

Flouncing away from the windowseat, Lydia raced from the room and down the stairs in her most ladylike manner. She narrowly missed colliding with Mr. Bingley, his head in the clouds and an oblivious glaze in his eyes. Outside, she set off down a little used pathway which served to allow her a route unseen and relatively unheard had she taken care in her footfalls. Fortunately for her, the other garden visitors were well established in their own distractions. Thus it was, when Lydia arrived on the scene, her quarry was surprised and Mary yelped at the touch on her shoulder.


Mr. Bennet was only too happy to bestow his blessing on the union of his eldest daughter and Mr. Charles Bingley. A cheerful, harmless young gentleman would perfectly suit his cheerful, harmless young Jane. The ecstatic lover withdrew as quickly as he had appeared, and more quickly than he had managed to utter his request, leaving Mr. Bennet to reflect on the two very different interviews he?d conducted that morning.

His next visitor was less well received.

?I shall give you a moment of my time now,? Lady Catherine de Bourgh announced upon her entrance, as if the gentleman had requested an audience.

As tiresome as was her presence, Mr. Bennet could not allow any opportunity for amusement to go unspent. ?Quite coincidentally I have a moment, as well.?

?Let us get to the point.? The dismissive tone was not unintentional and seemed more natural than practised. ?Mr. Collins is the fortunate recipient of the living under my care and just happens to be your cousin. I have impressed upon him the great benefit to be had in the acquisition of a wife.?

?Indeed,? said Mr. Bennet, suppressing a snort before he raised a quizzical eyebrow and asked, "And just whose wife do you suggest Mr Collins acquire?"

That gave the great Lady pause. Only for a moment, however. Shaking her head, she continued on unabated. ?This in mind, he came to your home with the intention of repairing past injuries by ensuring the future security of your family. I advised him against such a sentimental notion but he felt obliged to bestow this opportunity upon his cousins first.?

?How magnanimous of him.?

Lady Catherine inclined her head in acknowledgement. ?He has learned much from me since arriving at Hunsford.?

Mr. Bennet bit his lip. ?Why have you come to see me, then? Certainly he needs none of my advice.?

?No, no... although there may be some that... no, I have come to discuss the terms.? She settled herself regally in the chair.

?Terms?? The gentleman stared at her incredulously. He wondered how much this woman was prepared to offer in exchange for his daughter. Suddenly it seemed as if all the fates were conspiring against him. Mr. Bennet sat down heavily in his chair. ?Well,? he finally said in a quiet voice. ?Let us get down to business, then.?


Darcy could not decide whether to laugh or scold his own cousin for causing such an uproar. The distress of Elizabeth and Jane was not to be ignored, however. Their sisters? behaviour brought them much mortification. Even now, in the presence of so many, did it continue. Lydia, in all her youthful recklessness, was persistently insistent that she had seen the Colonel first and that Mary had no business trying to steal him away.

To her credit, Mary remained a calm and passive voice in the storm. Her words were far from consoling, however, if her younger sister had but the wherewithal to comprehend. While the two young women contested, Fitzwilliam stood uncertainly under the elms. Jane at last took pity upon him, for no-one else would, circling around the edges of the undefined circle and coming to stand next to him.

?Have you any sisters, Colonel?? she asked in all innocence.

He peered at her in surprise at the question. ?I do.?

She nodded sagely. ?Then you are no doubt familiar with the silliness that young girls can exhibit.?

Casting his memory back, Fitzwilliam was at a loss to dredge up any specific examples from his own family but did not question Miss Bennet?s assertion. ?I am younger than my sisters,? he supplied.

?There is hope, then.?

?I beg your pardon?? he gulped, casting a glance in the direction of Mary and Lydia.

Jane looked at him quizzically. ?That they will outgrow it.?

?Oh.? The Colonel was only somewhat relieved. There was no chance they would outgrow it in the next five minutes. He winced at a particularly pointed gesture made by Lydia.

?Fitzwilliam,? called Darcy, suddenly at his back. ?You will have to decide this.?

?Me?? He peered suspiciously at his cousin. ?Decide what exactly??

Darcy inclined his head toward the young ladies. ?The argument, of course. They cannot both be right.?

?They could both be wrong,? muttered the Colonel.

Darcy drew him further aside to rumble in his ear, ?Then what were you doing out here in the garden with Miss Mary??

?I was outflanked and you know it!?

?It happens to all of us, my friend,? snorted Darcy, slapping his hand on Fitzwilliam?s shoulder. ?Come now, are you going to let the ladies continue on in this completely inappropriate manner or will you do the gentlemanly thing??

?What?s this?? Bingley laughed, joining them in time to hear the last words. ?Fitzwilliam a gentleman??

Grumbling irritably, the Colonel walked away to approach the young ladies. ?Miss Lydia,? he said, causing her to pause with one hand poised to pinch her sister?s plait. ?Really, there is no reason to excite yourself. I assure you, the red coat does nothing at all for my figure.?

Bingley raised an eyebrow toward his friend. ?Pray, tell me that England is not relying upon his diplomatic prowess.?

?Allow the King some credit,? chuckled Darcy.

?You are right, of course.? Satisfied, Bingley turned back to watch the rest of the drama unfold but was distracted by a tap on his arm and noticed his friend regarding him with a most serious countenance.

?You spoke with Mr. Bennet??

?I did.? Bingley grinned with the recollection this brought.

Darcy?s brows drew together slightly. ?Everything went well??

?Very well, thank you.?

?Good. Good.? Darcy thought in silence for some minutes, blissfully incognizant of the farce playing out in front of them.

?What did your aunt have to say about your engagement??

?What do you mean? I did not speak with her,? replied Darcy.

?As I left Mr. Bennet, Lady Catherine was on her way to see him. I naturally supposed that she would be speaking on your behalf,? explained his friend.

His face draining of all colour, Darcy looked over his shoulder in the direction of the house. ?Excuse me,? he hastily said, moving away at a brisk pace.

Bingley, a little confused but happily secure in his own newly approved state, nodded succinctly. ?Of course.?


It was most unexpected when the door burst open. No one was more surprised than Darcy, who beheld his austere relation in a position indicating great mirth, a condition previously unknown to have ever occurred. In addition to this oddity, yet another fantastic sight was Mr. Bennet, quite obviously refilling his guest?s drinking glass.

?Aunt Catherine!? Darcy cried without thinking.

She looked upon him with a glowing smile. ?My dear nephew. You are just in time.?

?In time for what?? he asked with great trepidation.

?We have completed arranging the pecuniary details of Mr. Collins? engagement. You may witness the document.?

?Mr. Collins?? Darcy was dumbfounded. ?You have decided on the arrangements? How is this possible??

Chuckling, Mr. Bennet poured out another glass of port and handed it to the younger man. ?Your confusion is perfectly understandable. It was not so many minutes since you were in here pleading a case on behalf of the gentleman.....?

?I was not,? declared Darcy, unheard.

?... to be immediately followed by Lady Catherine, although she had a slightly different approach. However, as your astute aunt pointed out to me, Mr. Collins is my heir, which means that I hold the dubious honour of being head of this family due to the unfortunate demise of my cousin?s parents. In this role, I assumed responsibility for settling Mr. Collins? desired goal, to the great delight of us all.? He finished by touching his glass to Lady Catherine?s whereupon they each drank down the contents.

Darcy was still perplexed, unable to make sense of the narrative. ?Does Mr. Collins know that his future has been thus arranged??

?I have not yet seen him this morning,? admitted his aunt. ?I am, however, perfectly aware of what he requires in his wife.?

?What he requires.... but you do not mention what he may want. What if your choice does not suit him?? Darcy was still trying to work out the identity of the prospective bride. It was not Miss Bennet, that much was clear. Bingley had successfully negotiated that young lady?s future with himself.

Lady Catherine sat tall and straight, sniffing disdainfully. ?My choices always suit Mr. Collins, as he will inform you. Do not doubt me, nephew. I know what is best.? Her eyes narrowed and she studied him closely. ?As a matter of fact, there is a matter of your future that we need to discuss. I am feeling confident with having achieved this resolution so easily. Why don?t we settle your engagement now while we are here together? Mr. Bennet will agree, I?m sure.?

Nothing could make that gentleman disagree with the suggestion. Lady Catherine had been thoroughly entertaining thus far. Whatever plans she envisioned for her nephew could only add to Mr. Bennet?s enjoyment. How amusing it would be to watch the stuffy Mr. Darcy wriggling before his relation! Mr. Collins wasn?t the only embarrassment the world had to offer a family. ?Please consider my library at your disposal. An important matter such as this should not go neglected.?

?You see?? a justified Lady Catherine purred. ?Now sit down, Darcy. I cannot discuss this with you hovering over me like that.?

?I do not hover, aunt Catherine,? huffed Darcy, ?and I have no intention of discussing the subject at this time or at any time!?

?Don?t be stubborn, nephew. You are not getting any younger. Surely you have had enough time to ... well, to behave in the fashion that young single men behave. No, I do not want to hear any of it! It is all to be in the past and have no bearing on your future.? Once again she pointed to the empty chair beside her. ?Now sit down.?

Resigned, Darcy put his glass down on the desk with great care, inhaled deeply but did not sit. He simply asked, ?Which lady is to be so honoured by this match with Mr. Collins??

?Mr. Collins?? His aunt shook her head dismissively. ?You need not concern yourself with Mr. Collins. All of that has been settled and none of it to do with you.?

?On the contrary, you will see that it does concern me. You have chosen for Mr. Collins and you intend to choose for me. I must inform you, however, that I have already made my choice and it does not require your input nor your approval.? Darcy brought his feet together to stand straight and as immoveable as a tree. ?Regardless of how Mr. Collins views your selection process and his intended bride, I must tell you that I will not blindly accept the woman you decide is the right material for my wife. I am far better acquainted with my own needs and desires, something you could not possibly be privy to knowing.?

Lady Catherine recoiled in disgust at the use of the word ?desires?. ?Darcy, I must caution you on relying too heavily on those primitive responses to the female sex. That is not to be trusted when it comes to the important issues such as ensuring that you have an heir for your estate! Any woman can give you a child but to produce a proper heir, a son to inherit your property and fortune, you must be more selective!?

Oh, this conversation was much better than Mr. Bennet had expected! Lady Catherine was quickly becoming apoplectic with indignation while Mr. Darcy?s face had undergone such a transformation of colour that he might soon be in need of brandy.

?Aunt Catherine, do not doubt that I am aware of the need for an heir to my estate. Equally certain you can be that this is not my primary concern in selecting the lady who will be Mistress of Pemberley. We may, of course, eventually be so blessed but I could not be happy without a lady I could respect and admire for her person above all else.?

?Respect? Admiration? What is this, Darcy? Have you lost all sense of decency???

?Decency! There is nothing indecent in respecting one?s wife,? he informed his aunt. ?The lady who has honoured me with her acceptance of my offer will be given all the respect that is her due, not only as my wife but as my partner in life.?

It was as if Darcy had sprouted a second head and begun pontificating blasphemies. Both Lady Catherine and Mr. Bennet were silent, staring at the young man while their own mouths dropped open in amazement. Had they backed away in horror at the strangeness of his declaration it could not have been any less surprising. The fact that his aunt was speechless was a miracle not lost on Darcy. He leapt upon the moment while it was still his.

?I ask you again, who is the young lady that you have decreed destined to serve Mr. Collins as the mistress of his household and mother of his children??

The air was rent with a piercing scream.



Chapter Eighteen

Posted on Sunday, 3 June 2007

Behind the closed doors the noise continued; a high pitched wail not unlike the caterwauling of a feline in pain. Those individuals lined up outside the barrier covered their ears and only cautiously released the pressure to occasionally check for a diminution in volume. Through the inhuman sound could be determined the intermittent word. Words such as ?never? and ?ugly? as well as ?torture? and ?violation? were accompanied by the more regularly heard ?nerves? and ?vexing?.

?That will do,? boomed a voice from behind the crowd.

The servants jumped in their haste to pretend they were only about their usual business when caught in the act. The strange squealing continued from the sealed room despite the authoritative tone of the new arrival.

?What on earth is that?? With a grimace, the gentleman shooed away the maids and reached for the door handle. Finding it locked, he tapped upon the surface and waited for a response. It took another five raps with his fist before the noise quieted and the knob finally rattled. Once the wood partition swung inward, there were two faces peering curiously outward.

?Oh my goodness!? cried Mrs. Bennet upon seeing who it was. ?Quickly! Fetch me my salts. I am going to have a....? and she promptly fell to the floor in a faint.

?Please, allow me,? said the gentleman, quickly stooping to gently lift the fallen lady in his strong arms and carry her to the nearby settee. With great deliberation he placed her upon the surface and took her hand in his. Suddenly aware of being observed, he cleared his throat manfully and said, ?Her pulse is strong. That is a good sign.? The young woman behind him merely nodded and so he directed her thus, ?If you would please bring a glass of water....?

Kitty stared for a moment, perhaps blinded by the high polish of the brass buttons on his bright red coat, then nodded obediently and yelled out the door for Hill to bring some water. The houseservant was dutifully quick, appearing before the last words of the request had finished echoing in the hallway.

?There you go, sir,? she breathed awefully.

He took the glass and put it the lady?s lips. Mrs. Bennet sipped the liquid, coughed daintily, and fluttered her eyelids. The officer smiled warmly.

?Am I dreaming?? she whispered.

?No,? he replied in a husky voice. ?No, you are not dreaming. I am here. I have returned.?

She traced his cheek with one hand. ?I must be dead, then.?

His laugh was like a rockfall. ?Then you are the most beautiful corpse I have ever beheld.?

Mrs. Bennet noticed her daughter watching the exchange. ?Kitty, go and get your sisters. There is someone they must meet.?

Nodding her head again, Kitty left the parlour to seek out her siblings in the gardens.


?What on earth is that?? cried Darcy, ready to charge out the door.

?Pay no heed,? Mr. Bennet replied, waving his hand in dismissal. ?That would most likely be my wife informing our daughter of her engagement.?

?Highly emotional type,? commented Lady Catherine.

?Both of them, yes,? amended Mr. Bennet.

Darcy sighed. ?Which of your daughters has been consigned to such a fate, sir?? He was at least confident that it was not Jane or Elizabeth. Bingley had secured the former while the latter would never create the scene now being heard. Mary had been in the garden with Fitzwilliam and so that left the youngest two Misses Bennet from whom to choose. ?I presume it to be either Miss Catherine or Miss Lydia.? As soon as the words were out he knew the answer. Of course it had to be Miss Catherine! The name alone assured that.

?Lydia would never suit a clergyman,? explained the older man. ?Kitty, however, could be taught a little restraint.?

?She is a dear young girl,? smiled Darcy?s aunt. ?Mr. Collins will be grateful indeed.?

?Grateful,? repeated Darcy. ?What of the young lady?s reaction?? He looked at the closed library door and willed it to open, to admit the entrance of someone with enough sanity to make these two listen to reason.

?Oh, she will get over it.? Mr. Bennet fell silent as they all heard a strange voice rise over the dissonance, followed by loud thumping on a wooden surface. ?What on earth is that?? he cried, rising to his feet.

Darcy was to the door first and crossing the hallway before the others could move.


Kitty was tugging on Elizabeth?s arm. ?I must speak with you now, Lizzy!?

?Can it not wait five minutes, Kitty? As you can see, Mary and Lydia need help first.? This particular sister was insistent, however, and Elizabeth was forced to leave Jane to referee.

Kitty pulled Elizabeth as far away as she dared before beginning her own tale of woe. ?So you see, Lizzy, I cannot stay here any longer. Mama will make me marry that horrible cousin of ours and surely you understand why I refuse! Will you ask your Mr. Darcy to help me??

?Kitty, this is all so unexpected. Surely it is only Mama?s imagination carrying her away again,? Elizabeth attempted to soothe her young sister. ?Papa would never allow it.?

?Oh, but he has!? wailed Kitty. ?Papa and Lady Catherine are in the library as we speak, drawing up the settlement and signing away my life!?

Elizabeth could not believe what she heard. How could their father do such a thing to one of his own children? ?Come with me,? she said, firmly taking Kitty?s hand and marching over to their other siblings. ?Lydia, be quiet for once in your life. Mary, stop sermonising. Jane, we have another dilemma to resolve.?

Bingley was immediately before them. ?How may I be of assistance??

Colonel Fitzwilliam stepped forward. ?I am at your service, ladies.?

?Where is Mr. Darcy?? whined Kitty.

The two gentlemen looked at each other in disgust. ?What are we? Chopped liver?? they asked.

?Oh, don?t be so selfish,? scolded Elizabeth. ?We have a problem and time is of the essence. How quickly can we arrange to travel to London??

?London??

?How soon do you want to leave?? The Colonel got straight down to business. ?I do not believe Bingley?s carriage is large enough if you all wish to go. However, we may borrow my aunt?s if need be. Who is to go??

?Well, Kitty. And, um... I should go with her,? Elizabeth decided.

?I?ll go with you, too,? said Jane.

?Then I shall accompany you, my dear,? Bingley pronounced. ?I must be assured of your safety.?

?I must go, of course,? said Fitzwilliam. ?It is my aunt?s carriage, after all.?

?Me, too!? Mary quickly added.

?You aren?t leaving me behind,? snapped Lydia, glaring at her sister with suspicion.

?That is seven. The ladies may ride in the carriage. Bingley, you and I shall go on horseback.?

Bingley nodded. ?When will you be ready to go?? he asked Elizabeth.

?I think we must take no more than ten minutes to get our things together,? she told her sisters. ?Kitty, I?ll pack you some clothing. Colonel Fitzwilliam, would you please take Kitty to the carriage and see that she is settled in??

He nodded and extended an arm toward the young woman. Kitty ignored Lydia?s hissing and Mary?s searing glance, wrapped her arm securely about the gentleman?s and allowed herself to be led away.

The rest of the sisters started for the house, Bingley leaning in close to Jane to whisper, ?Why are we going to London??

?I am not exactly sure but if Lizzy says we should go, then go we must,? she whispered in return.

If it was good enough for Jane, it was good enough for him, Bingley reasoned.


After narrowly avoiding a collision with a blur that must have been Kitty Bennet, Darcy arrived at the parlour door to find it open and the figures inside positioned in a rather compromising manner. Concerned that it might be Elizabeth imposed upon by some unknown assailant he charged forth, taking the man by the shoulder and turning him around. Recognising the lady, he stumbled backward in surprise.

?Mrs. Bennet!? everyone seemed to cry at once.

Mr. Bennet managed to speak the next words before anyone else. ?Wallace? How...? You went to India! You were eaten by a tiger!?

The other man regarded him thoughtfully. ?The report of my death was an exaggeration. I had no idea it had come so far. However, I was on a mission to a remote area of the country and only recently returned to find that I was no longer considered among the living.?

?This changes everything,? said Mr. Bennet in a quiet voice.

?What do you mean?? Lady Catherine enquired. ?Who is this man??

Stately and grandly, Mr. Bennet performed the introduction. ?Lady Catherine de Bourgh, may I present to you my cousin, Wallace Collins, father of William Collins.?

?Is this true?? she demanded of the new acquaintance.

The elder Mr. Collins bowed regally. ?It is indeed. Do you know my son??

?He is the curate of my parish,? she sniffed.

?A curate!? his father remarked in astonishment. ?I had no idea. Is he a good one??

Mr. Bennet disguised his snort with a cough.

?I granted him the living,? Lady Catherine replied as if that declaration was sufficient evidence. ?Your arrival is fortuitous for Mr. Bennet and I have just completed the necessary agreements for Mr. Collins?... your son?s marriage.?

Wallace Collins felt his mouth drop open. ?His marriage? No, no. Bennet, I must have a word with you before anything else is decided.? He looked at his cousin expectantly.

Mr. Bennet shook his head clear of the cobwebs, a spider or two flying into the nearby flower vases, and extended an arm in the direction of his library. Once again, it seemed, he was to retreat to his sanctuary to discuss his offspring, or perhaps this time it would be his cousin?s offspring. He could only hope.

?Excuse me,? said Darcy in a firm voice. ?Should the younger Mr. Collins not be informed that his father is here, that he is alive??

?Oh, what a notion! Of course,? cried Mrs. Bennet. ?Thank you for offering to do that, Mr. Darcy, although I am not at all certain where he may be found at the moment. Perhaps one of my girls will know. They are all out in the garden, I think. I mean, I sent Kitty out there a minute ago to bring them all back inside. Where is that girl??

Having no intention of going in search of the missing clergyman, Darcy was more than willing to go in search of Elizabeth. ?I shall see what is delaying them.? He followed the elder gentlemen from the room, grateful enough to leave his aunt and future mother-in-law behind him, even if they were together. Despite the proximity to Mr. Bennet and the senior Mr. Collins, Darcy was not paying attention to their conversation on the short jaunt across the hall. It was a shame, for their topic would have been of concern to his lovely bride-to-be if only he had the sense to eavesdrop.

Two turns about the garden was all it took to convince Darcy that it contained no Bennet ladies, nor his cousin and friend. He stood in the middle of the lawn, mind furiously turning over the possibilities. Had they gone to Netherfield? Had they walked to Meryton? Why had Elizabeth not conveyed a message to him? It was extremely puzzling.

Then he noticed the absence of Lady Catherine?s carriage, which was only more mystifying.

A sudden rustling of leaves behind him and the snapping of twigs underfoot gave him a sense of relief. Finally, the objects of his search had returned from wherever they had gone. Darcy eagerly advanced upon the spot from whence the noises issued.

The shrubbery parted and the head of a donkey appeared. Darcy stepped back, prepared to run. He need not have bothered. The animal?s lead was firmly in the hand of none other than William Collins, who proudly emerged from the overhanging branches, a smile lighting up his face as he beheld his small welcoming committee.

?Ah, Mr. Darcy! How delightful to see you again. May I introduce you to.....? His words echoed in the empty park and he saw only the retreating back of his object. ?Well, I heard he was rude but really!?



Chapter Nineteen

Posted on Sunday, 17 June 2007

Darcy stood in Longbourn?s front entrance, undecided which way to go next. His aunt?s droning voice could be heard coming from the parlour. Mr. Bennet?s library door was closed, the murmur of conversation barely audible through the heavy wood. Darcy?s gaze darted about, not really seeing his surroundings but in time with his racing thoughts as he attempted to work out where the ladies and his friends had gone. If they had been aware of the approaching Mr. Collins it was no wonder they had disappeared in a hurry.

Still, there was no time to waste lingering in the hallway. The wayward clergyman and his donkey would be in pursuit, the house their destination as well. Darcy considered his choices, looking first to the right and then to the left. He ruled out the library; replacing one Mr. Collins? company with another was certainly no temptation, yet neither was Lady Catherine?s penchant for self-congratulation any more attractive.

Thus the decision was clear. As he was skirting the edge of the stairs on his way to find the kitchen, and the back door, Darcy almost walked past the small folded paper on the hall table before it caught his eye. Or rather, Bingley?s distinctive blot on the page caught his attention.

Casting a surreptitious glance over his shoulder, Darcy picked up the missive and opened it. The hand conveying the message was as different as it was a pleasure to see.


Netherfield
London
Will wait
E

Below the initial was a small symbol intended to communicate her feelings. It may have meant nothing to the casual observer but to Darcy the meaning was clear. He smiled, tucking the paper away in an inside pocket, and continued on his way to find a less frequently used doorway to the outside.


Hill had never seen anything like it in her more than 20 years of service to Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. The house had been in an uproar ever since the Netherfield Ball.

No, thought Hill, it had really begun as soon as that Mr. Bingley had arrived! She thought of how happy Miss Jane had looked during the weeks since making the young gentleman?s acquaintance. It had brought everyone in the house, with one notable exception, the hopeful expectation of a wedding and if the morning?s activities were any indication, they were not wrong. In fact, there just might be more than one wedding in the near future!

She paused in stirring a pot when she heard an odd noise coming from the direction of the doorway leading to the rest of the house. Further investigation brought her nose to nose... well, nose to a fine linen clad chest. That was fine linen. The chest was not visible for judging.

?I beg your pardon!? she cried, more startled than sorry. With a deep curtsey, Hill hid her face and was disappointed to note that she was therefore unable to determine with whose chest she had just collided. An equally fine pair of boots was within sight, however, and the swishing tails of a gentleman?s attire. There were not many visiting Longbourn to whom those could belong. She risked a peek as he walked away and was not disappointed to see Mr. Darcy?s retreating figure.

With a smug grin, one that could not be diffused even by the subsequent interruption of an ass entering by way of the front door, Hill chose to ignore that diversion in preference to confirming the safe departure of the latter gentleman through the rear door of the kitchen. From this aperture she could observe him calling for his horse, hurriedly mounting it and tearing away at a pace unsafe for most experienced riders. In spite of this she had no doubt that Mr. Darcy was in no danger for it was apparent that he was a most accomplished horseman.

Satisfied that this particular job had been overseen to completion, Hill turned her attention to the new arrival, returning to the front hall. ?Mr. Collins,? she called in a respectful voice. ?You will find Lady Catherine and Mrs. Bennet in the parlour. Mr. Bennet is with a guest in his library.?

?I thank you, Mrs. Hill, for that information. It is kind of you, to say the least.? Nevertheless, Mr. Collins seemed torn in choosing who would be the fortunate recipients of his company. There was a sense of anticipation and anxiety about him, the way he shifted from one foot to the other and kept glancing over his shoulder as if expecting something to appear.

Hill?s apprehension began to grow. ?May I get you something, sir??

His wide-eyed appearance was all bewilderment. ?No thank you. I shall just... pay my respects to Lady Catherine first.? With that he simply scurried to the parlour door and disappeared behind it.

Hill harrumphed softly and returned to the kitchen.

The ladies looked up at the opening of the door.

?Oh, it is you, Mr. Collins,? Lady Catherine said, devoid of any emotion. She turned her attention once more to her companion. ?What happened after you informed him of your decision??

Mrs. Bennet dabbed a handkerchief to her eyes. ?He was devastated, of course. Completely and utterly heartbroken. I had no choice, though. You understand, of course.?

?Of course,? agreed Lady Catherine, nodding sympathetically. ?He behaved as a man would, naturally; gruff and unpleasant, as if the world opposed him personally.?

?Oh, no!? cried the other lady. ?He was anything but unpleasant. And gruff! No, no! The perfect gentleman. That only made it all the more difficult for me.?

?As he no doubt intended.?

Mrs. Bennet was clearly offended by this slur on the gentleman?s character. ?He is far too good a man to behave in that manner.?

?My dear friend,? counselled the elder woman. ?A man is a man. You had a moderate but attractive fortune and he had none. You made the wise decision and there is no cause for regret.?

?I do not regret my choice! Well,? she amended, ?except for the part about not having any sons but do you not think it quite providential that his son should inherit the property where I have failed to adequately provide for an heir??

Mr. Collins? presence had been forgotten, so intent were they in the pursuit of their subject. As strongly as Lady Catherine pressed the faults of one gentleman, Mrs. Bennet just as strenuously defended his actions.

?I must assure you again how correct you were in your choice at that time. Even now, can you not see that your current situation is far superior??

Mrs. Bennet?s sympathies had been engaged. ?I am more fortunate than yourself, I know, for my husband is alive and well. Oh, I do not wish to cause you any distress! You were clearly very attached to your late husband and my reminders can only be painful.? She clucked her tongue in the fashion of most mothers, managing at the last second to maintain a respectful distance despite the maternal urge to comfort her companion.

?Why...? stuttered Lady Catherine, ?.... why do you say that??

Mrs. Bennet smiled understandingly. ?You would not be so bitter had it been a relief to see him gone.?

Her lips quivered.

?There, there,? soothed Mrs. Bennet, throwing propriety to the wind and patting the arm of the stately Lady.

Neither noticed the young clergyman slip out the door and close it quickly behind him.


Could the library walls only speak, such tales they would tell! Countless hours of reading, the rustle of the leaves between leather bindings and the generations of young ears being lectured on proper deportment must surely have permeated the very structure.

There was nothing unusual in the meeting of the two cousins. Nothing unusual but for the fact that one had returned from the dead.

Twenty-five years earlier they had been as close as brothers. As often happens, their falling out was over a young lady. Wallace Collins had met her first, was mesmerised on the spot and believed she was, too. After several weeks of shy courting he was ready to introduce the subject of matrimony but made the mistake of introducing her to his cousin first.

The rest, as they say, is history.

Over the years, watching the births of daughter after daughter for the Bennets, Wallace Collins felt less pain and more spiteful satisfaction. He eventually married a woman of decent family, less fortune but equal beauty and they soon produced a son. Wallace was smug, confident that the entail on Longbourn would ensure the security of his own offspring. Quite suddenly, his wife fell ill and quickly succumbed. It was an unanticipated blow. His son away at school, there was nothing to keep Wallace from setting out on a journey that would change his life.

?I was not eaten by a tiger.?

?Obviously.?

Wallace chuckled. ?You?ve changed, Bennet. That same wit but with an edge you didn?t have twenty years ago.?

?You might understand had you lived in a house with six women all these years,? grunted his cousin. The laughter this comment elicited from his listener did not entirely amuse Mr. Bennet.

?Come now, you must have enjoyed some part of it. I can just imagine all of those little ones running around underfoot.? Becoming more serious, Wallace moved his chair a little closer. ?I learned a few things out there in the wilds. There really was a tiger, you know.? He pulled up one sleeve of his shirt to expose a nasty scar which went deep into the flesh. ?He did try to eat me, unsuccessfully as you can see. I was rescued and cared for by in a village far from any British post but obviously some news of my fate had reached my friends. The bit about me surviving did not and they forwarded the worst part home to my family.?

?It?s been four years, Wallace! Could you not have sent word of your existence in that time??

The other man shrugged. ?I had no idea I had been reported dead. You surely understand my gratitude to these people and my wish to assist them however I could once I was able. I stayed on in the village, working to improve what I could with the knowledge that I had. After a year I returned to what you would call civilisation and found my fortune in the most unexpected place.?

Ordinarily this sort of statement would lead to the listener questioning what place he could possibly mean. However, Mr. Bennet was not that curious, and this author has no idea what place and circumstances could provide Wallace Collins with the ways and means to amass a small fortune in three short years. So, think of it as the dreaded plot device and we shall move on.

?Fortune you say? What do you mean?? Mr. Bennet leaned forward in his chair, nearly tipping it and narrowly avoiding crashing his nose on the surface of the desk. ?What are you on about??

?My purpose for visiting you, of course!? Shaking his head at the absurdity of his companion, Wallace brought out a sheaf of papers from the breast pocket of his coat. ?I took the liberty of consulting with an attorney before coming here. Look these over and tell me what you think.?

Mr. Bennet cautiously accepted the pages, glancing at the stationery?s letterhead to confirm that it did, indeed, come from one of the more prominent firms in London. His eyebrows reflected his astonishment; tiny little sparkly bits lodged in the hairs often do that. The light grew blinding as he read further and the eyebrows climbed higher. ?Are you serious?? he finally asked in a hushed voice.

?Perfectly.?

?But why would you do this? Why would you wish to help me break the entail??

Abruptly rising to his feet, Wallace paced to the window, scanned the view beyond and returned to his chair. ?Come now, Bennet. He is a prat and we both know it. Do not tell me you want to see him lording it over Longbourn and taking one of your daughters as his wife? Are you out of your wits??

?I am beginning to wonder that, myself.? A deep frown creased his brow. ?Do you really think this can be accomplished??

?I have the money to see it through,? nodded the other man. ?And, quite honestly, I do not wish to see... Mrs. Bennet distressed about the future security of her daughters, nor herself.?

Mr. Bennet pursed his lips thoughtfully. ?This would not, perchance, include arrangements for my demise, would it??

?Banish the thought!?

The two men could not long resist sealing the deal with the joining of their hands. Mr. Bennet was truly loathe to part with any of his daughters if she had to marry the younger Mr. Collins. The elder Mr. Collins had long nursed a tendre for the lady most affected by this matter. As their hands parted and the cousins took up their glassed to drink to success, the door burst open, banging against the wall with an horrendous noise.

More noise followed, all deafening and completely inappropriate for indoors. Mr. Bennet and Wallace Collins stood transfixed, watching in amazement the intruder?s almost methodical perusal of the room. Just as abruptly, the intruder turned and departed, leaving a souvenir on the carpet.

?Nasty,? said Mr. Bennet with a shudder.



Chapter Twenty

Posted on Monday, 2 July 2007

The ride to Netherfield was little more than three miles. Certainly not good road but road nonetheless. Darcy?s horse galloped the distance without faltering, in spite of the ruts and potholes, the occasional change of direction when its rider failed to detect a road sign, and one or two detours over a hedgerow. The latter activity was employed to jar the navigator to wakefulness, to nudge him from a preoccupied stupor. It was successful, too, as anyone who has made contact with the ground that hard can attest.

Dusty, bruised and winded, the two arrived at Netherfield estate and were relieved, or at least one was relieved, to see the de Bourgh carriage still standing at the front step. A quick glance inside confirmed that it was empty. Darcy even more quickly dismounted, tossed the animal?s reins to a nearby postillion, his goal to reach the top of the stairs as expeditiously as possible.

Alas, it was not to be.

Such was his hurry to reach the top that his feet attempted to get there first, resulting in Darcy finding himself sprawled upon the cobbles, at the bottom once more, upon his bottom.

To a man, Lady Catherine?s liverymen had their heads turned in the opposite direction, relieving Darcy of any feeling of humiliation which would naturally follow such a display. Picking himself up, dusting himself off, he started all over again. This time he reached the landing without mishap.

Gaining entry to the house could have led to yet another disaster. Darcy leapt aside just as the door opened and an inattentive Bingley emerged.

?Caroline, you cannot be serious! There is no more room in the carriage. It is out of the question.?

His sister would not be discouraged. Her enthusiasm for the argument carried her past the door without noticing Darcy?s figure. ?If you think I will let you run off to London... three of you, all single gentlemen, with five single ladies and no disinterested party to accompany you, think again!?

?Disinterested? You? When did you give up on landing Darcy?? Bingley came to a halt at the top step. ?I will not allow you to cause trouble for him and Miss Elizabeth.?

?As if I would cause trouble!? objected Miss Bingley, oblivious to what was happening behind her; namely Darcy slipping quickly and stealthily into the house.

?Elizabeth!? he called out in a hushed voice lest some other hear. The answering smile sent his heart soaring. Darcy took her hands, quickly guiding her to a nearby room.

Elizabeth looked around the garderobe in surprise. ?Fitzwilliam, why on earth did you bring me in here??

?Elizabeth, I am so very thankful to have arrived before you set out for London!? His fingers caressed the smooth skin of her palms. ?Until I found your note and read it, I feared you had changed your mind and had fled from me.?

?Oh!? Elizabeth?s breath caught in her throat and she found herself looking at their intertwined hands. ?That is a foolish notion, if you do not mind me saying. I trust you no longer suffer from such dreadful imaginings. Oh, and we are not going to London after all.?

?What is that you say? Not going? But of course you must go, if not to London then somewhere!? Agitation was evident in his every move. The confined space only emphasised it ?You will not return to Longbourn. I will not permit it.?

Elizabeth was shocked. ?I beg your pardon? What do you mean??

?They are mad, all of them. Your father, my aunt, your cousin.... all mad! If you go back it will be but a matter of time before your father gives his blessing to marry you to the village idiot!?

?You are overwrought, Fitzwilliam. Here, sit down.? There was only one seat in the room and Elizabeth pushed him toward it. ?What is this?? she asked, fingers examining his hair. ?Did you hit your head??

?No.?

?You fell off your horse again. I will ask you once more. Did you hit your head?? If it had been possible, Elizabeth would have placed her hands on her hips and frowned at him.

?I fell.... a couple of times... but I did not hit my head,? pouted Darcy. He pulled her closer. ?Elizabeth, we will go to London ourselves, away from here and all this madness. I will arrange for a special license and we will marry, quietly and without any interference.?

?And what of Kitty? What of Mr. Bingley and Jane?? she demanded. ?How can I leave them to cope with this madness, as you call it??

?They must come with us, of course! I could not countenance leaving your younger sister to the mercy of Lady Catherine. No one deserves that.? Darcy tried to stand but his dear lady pushed him back down.

?Wait one moment. There is no hurry, Fitzwilliam. I heard Miss Bingley telling her brother that she intends to come with us. Surely it will take her at least a half hour to pack her things.? Elizabeth fingered his neckcloth.

?That is too long. We must leave immediately,? he insisted, pushing her hands away and getting to his feet. ?Where are your sisters??

Heaving a dramatic sigh, she waved one hand in a vague direction. ?They are having tea in the breakfast room. Lydia insisted that she could not travel on an empty stomach.?

Darcy took her arm and then flung open the door. The light blinded them both for a moment.

?Lizzy! What were you.....? No, never mind.? Jane grabbed her sister?s other arm and led the couple toward the front doors. ?We are all ready to go and I could not find you.?

Kitty and Lydia trailed behind, giggling while nibbling on biscuits. Mary brought up the rear with a very serious and subdued Colonel Fitzwilliam by her side.

?What about Miss Bingley?? Elizabeth hurriedly enquired. ?Are we not waiting for her??

?I?ve taken care of that inconvenience,? said Bingley, appearing at the entrance, breathless and dishevelled. ?I locked her in the ice house. The servants are instructed to let her out only after we have been gone a full fifteen minutes. Caroline will insist on having a hot bath to warm up and by then she should have forgotten all about going to London.?

?I say, that?s a brilliant idea!? laughed Darcy.

?It was mine,? muttered the Colonel, who appeared even less happy with the turn of events.

?Into the carriage, then. There is no more time to waste,? directed Darcy, pushing the others ahead of him. ?Lady Catherine and Mr. Bennet have plotted Miss Kitty?s misery, Mr. Collins is again at Longbourn with that cursed donkey and his father has mysteriously returned from the dead!?

?His father!? cried Elizabeth, stopping in her tracks and causing the rest to bump into one another. ?What are you talking about??

?Oh, oh, oh!? Kitty waved her hands about in a helpless fashion. ?That?s what I forgot to tell you. Mama sent me out to fetch you all in to meet some strange man who appeared out of nowhere.?

?If he has come back from the dead then he must have, indeed, appeared from out of nowhere,? nodded Bingley. ?Erm... what does he have to do with anything??

Before Elizabeth could do more than sigh impatiently, Darcy spoke up. ?The entail, Bingley, the entail. Mr. Collins, the younger, was set to inherit Longbourn and its property but now that his father is no longer dead that means Miss Kitty?s marrying of the younger Collins is a useless gesture, don?t you see? Another sacrifice would have to be offered in addition to hers! Which of these ladies do you think is to be the next victim, signed away to the long presumed dead and elderly Mr. Collins??

?Mama wouldn?t do that to me!? stamped Lydia in defiance.

?Do not be so hasty in your assumption, Lydia,? Mary smirked. ?Remember how quick she was to plan your future happiness with Mr. Darcy.?

The three gentlemen turned to stare at one another in horror at the prospect.

Jane?s quiet voice broke the silence. ?All the more reason for us to go now rather than later. Come along everyone.?

There was some pushing and shoving, in a ladylike way, before all were settled and accounted for inside the carriage. The gentlemen mounted their horses and signalled to the driver to get underway. As the carriage rolled along the driveway the crunching of gravel under the wheels and the clip clop of the horses? hooves drowned out the pitiful cries from the direction of the ice house.


While the large party of Bennet ladies and their beaux were en route to London there was little happening at Longbourn. Mr. Bennet and his newly resurrected cousin were drinking a toast to their renewed camaraderie. Mrs. Bennet, together with Lady Catherine de Bourgh, were drinking tea in the parlour, and though some may believe there was some suspicious additive to the brew they might not be far wrong, in their newly formed partnership of matchmaking and advice to the lovelorn.

The younger Mr. Collins seemed to be of no importance to any of them. He continued to roam the gardens with the donkey by his side, eager to impart his news upon anyone who would listen. Unfortunately, a person meeting that description was hard to find.


In London, luck was with the travellers. Not a single problem was encountered on the road to town and upon arrival in Gracechurch Street, for there could be no other destination in mind for the Bennet sisters, their aunt and uncle were at home, welcoming all most graciously.

Both were astonished, if not disbelieving, of the tale explaining the arrival of their unexpected guests.

?You are very fortunate in your timing,? said Mrs. Gardiner. ?I understand that the Archbishop is in London now, convening a meeting of the primates of the Church of England. You may have your pick to approach for obtaining a license.?

?Fortuitous indeed!? laughed Elizabeth.

Upon learning this, Darcy was impatient to move on to the next step. ?Bingley, we shall go immediately to make an appointment for an audience and present our case.?

Fitzwilliam was quick volunteer to go with them. The ladies were required to stay with their relations, to freshen up after the harried flight from Hertfordshire and to provide the as yet unsaid details if they were to receive their aunt and uncle?s blessings in full.

Thus what little remained of the afternoon passed with confessions in one location and pleas in another. In the end, blessings were bestowed and an audience obtained for that very evening. The gentlemen returned to Gracechurch Street after dining at Darcy?s home and availing themselves of baths and Darcy?s wardrobe for a change of clothes. There was enough time to have tea and cakes before they set off for the Archbishop?s apartments.

The opulence that greeted them was enough to silence even Lydia?s eager opinions. Nothing was heard beyond her initial ?oooh?.

They were shown into a smaller but no less ostentatious office with a massive oak desk in the centre of the room. Chairs were scarce and the ladies preferred to cling to their respective gentlemen. When a recessed section of panelling opened to reveal its function as another entry and admit the figure of a man in the raiment of archbishop, the nervous parties all jumped.

The elderly man studied them closely until someone had the presence of mind to bow, the rest taking the hint and showing their respect.

?Which of you is Mr. Darcy?? he asked in a voice surprisingly strong and clear.

?I am, your Grace,? replied Darcy, stepping forward.

?I am given to understand that you wish to petition a special license for marriage. Is that correct??

?Yes, your Grace.?

?You are aware of the serious natures of your request?? Allowing no opportunity for an answer, he continued to question. ?The Special License is reserved for Peers of the Realm. Are you a member of the Peerage??

?No, your Grace.?

?Is the young lady in question a Peer??

?No, your Grace.?

?Then the matter is clear. As a subject of His Majesty you are entitled to the granting of such a license only if circumstances can be presented proving the necessity of this course. Are you prepared to substantiate your petition??

?I am, your Grace.?

The Archbishop leaned back in his chair, his hands folded steeple-like with forefingers pressed against his chin. ?Very well. You may proceed.?

And so Darcy began, his narration crisp and even, beginning with his faulty first impressions of Miss Elizabeth Bennet and her neighbours, the gradual change of his opinions which overcame him and detailing the reasons why, with the exception of the incident in Nethefield?s library. He spoke without interruption despite the occasional romantic sigh from Jane and less sensitive yawns from Lydia.

?An admirable tale,? said the Archbishop at the completion. ?However, you have yet to explain why a Special License is required. It would seem that you are well enough on your way to a traditional and unhurried wedding.?

?It is a matter of consent, your Grace,? Darcy replied.

The Archbishop tilted his head to look down his nose at the man before him. ?Her family objects? Why is that??

?Only her father, actually,? explained Darcy. ?But he?s mad.?

?Your aunt objects, too,? Elizabeth reminded him.

?She does not know but, yes, she would object if she did,? Darcy agreed. ?But she?s mad, too.?

The old man shook his head violently. ?Are you telling me there is madness in both families yet you still wish to wed??

?Well, it is more of a temporary madness,? the young man offered. ?Either way, it is a threat to the well being of Miss Bennet for her father may force her to marry the most unsuitable of men on a moment?s whim, as he has already signed away the life of one of her sisters. This madness is no deterrent to our desire to marry.?

?I beg to differ,? said the Archbishop, adopting a stern look and tone. ?Madness may be passed on to your children.? He was beginning to suspect the madness of these families was not confined to the parties specifically mentioned.

?Oh, I quite agree with Darcy.? Bingley stepped forward to speak for his friend, earning a sharp scrutiny from the man behind the desk. ?It is not a permanent condition.?

?You are a physician?? was the question put to him but at Bingley?s disavowal of that office it changed to ?Who are you??

?Charles Bingley. I am engaged to Miss Jane Bennet, sister of Miss Elizabeth.?

?Ah,? he nodded. ?Another wishing to join the madness. I suppose you are also here to obtain a Special License??

?No, no. We are in no hurry, are we my dear?? Bingley looked to Jane for confirmation. ?Although I would have no objection should you find us eligible to be granted one.?

?Well, first things first. Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth Bennet, having stated that the madness of your respective family members stands in the way of the usual path to marriage, you request the granting of a Special License in order to enter into a legal and binding contract of matrimony. Is this correct?? Receiving a quick affirmation, the Archbishop continued. ?I must say this is the most extraordinary story presented to me in all my years serving this office and although it would normally be against my better judgement to grant permission to join two people with such a family history as this, I will accede in this case.? Privately, he admitted to himself that it would give him great satisfaction to witness Lady Catherine de Bourgh?s reaction to the news. ?The documents will be ready for you tomorrow.?

Darcy knew better than to be effusive now that their object had been obtained. ?Thank you.? He stepped back, Elizabeth at his side.

The Archbishop turned his gaze on Bingley. ?I am inclined to grant you a license as well, simply to avoid the repetition of this scene in the near future.? When it was apparent that an outpouring of gratitude was imminent he raised both hands to stave off the flow. ?You may pick up your documents tomorrow, too.?

There remained four people in the room and the Archbishop turned his now weary eyes on them. ?I cannot in good conscience offer a license for your situation,? he said.

Colonel Fitzwilliam?s eyes widened considerably. He was confused and said as much.

?You are accompanied by three young ladies. Are you here to provide proof of Mr. Darcy?s claim of madness in his family by seeking a Special License to marry all three??

?No!? cried Fitzwilliam. ?I have no need of any license and have no intention of....? He amended his oration upon becoming aware of both Darcy and Bingley being attentive to his every word. ?I am but a second son. How could I ask any lady to make a choice that would find her forever a mere officer?s wife?? He waited for a sign of movement from those clinging to him but they remained steadfast at his sides. ?I could be called away at a moment?s notice, to venture into unknown territory and danger.? For a moment it appeared that Kitty and Lydia might abandon him and thus he pressed on. ?It would be cruel, indeed, to leave one?s wife to the lonely fears that plague those of every military man. I am one of the fortunate few permitted the option of having the reassuring presence of my lady wherever I may be sent. Naturally, she would accompany me...?

Lydia made a face and sought a chair to steady her disillusioned and fervent imagination.

?.... to offer comfort after the long and weary days of battle....?

Kitty?s hand was not quick enough to cover her mouth before a gurgle of disgust was heard. Her face was rosy with embarrassment as she joined Lydia on the sofa.

?... and strength in abundance to nurse me back to health when I suffer the inevitable wounds of warfare.?

Calculated as the statement was to drive away the most stalwart of infatuations, Colonel Fitzwilliam was shocked to discover the effect was not borne out in Miss Mary Bennet. She stood, straight and unyielding, at his elbow.

?It appears that you have chosen well,? intoned the voice of the Archbishop, the delivery a warning in itself to not trifle further.

Darcy and Bingley took up positions on either side and just behind their friend in a subtle gesture of solidarity.

The Archbishop continued. ?Whether or not this confirms the charge of madness that has been laid before me this evening, I can say without a doubt that each and every one of you is a stellar example of the devotion and commitment required of the marriage state. Three licenses have been granted! Now I would like the remainder of my evening to be left in peace. Good night.?

He swept from the room, leaving the ladies and gentlemen stunned at the swiftness in which their fates had been decided.



Epilogue

Happy was the day when Mrs. Bennet learned of the hasty but advantageous marriages of her three eldest daughters. There was no disappointment to be had between the remaining sisters, for the youngest opined that one brother would bring them into circles populated exclusively by officers of every imaginable rank, while the other speculated upon the vast numbers of wealthy friends their other two new brothers must indisputably possess.

The newlywed couples themselves were equally pleased with their daring actions, settling into the comforts of married life after spending an extended time away from the brides? family immediately following the weddings.

Mr. Bennet, having been bowled over by several consecutive shocks in that one morning, raised nary one objection, not even a derisive word or snort. He simply wished his girls well, shook the gentlemen?s hands and sent them on their way.

Being an uncomfortable witness to Mrs. Bennet?s effusions of joy when news of the marriages reached her ears, Mr. Wallace Collins was quickly disabused of his longtime infatuation and found a kindred spirit in Lady Catherine de Bourgh, equally disgusted by the display her newfound friend exhibited. It was so impressive that any notion of offense at Darcy?s choosing of a bride other than her own daughter were driven from her mind. She was sure he would come to realise his mistake and regret it, that being satisfaction enough for her.

The junior Mr. Collins, it must be reported, was encouraged by his father to explore the ways of finding greater meaning for his life and subsequently surrendered his position at Hunsford, in Lady Catherine?s parish, to pursue a more noble and gratifying existence as a missionary, a position for which his most faithful follower was ably suited to accompany him.

Miss Bingley suffered no frostbite for her ordeal in the ice house, yet until her demise at the ripe old age of 87 she did continue in an unexplained aversion to lemonade and was often heard demanding that her drinks be served ?without those vile cubes?.


The End

© 2006, 2007 Copyright held by the author.