With The Rich And Famous

By Caroline

Jump to new as of June 4, 2001

Prologue

Posted on Friday, 16 June 2000

A few notes before I start, though. You must suspend your images of both Mrs. Bennet and Col. Fitzwilliam in this story. First of all, Mrs. Bennet is rather like Mrs. Higgins (Henry's mother from My Fair Lady) and second, imagine Richard Fitzwilliam (not a Colonel) as sort of the blond, well-built handsome man (not too much of a stretch (; ) you just wish you could knock off to get him out of the way of the central characters. He's not a villain, or even a bad person, just in the way. I took a few quotes from the movie (although I tried to use my own words mostly), and I also used Spy magazine and the True Love. This is all I've written so far, tell me if I should continue...

With The Rich and Mighty - Prologue

A Stately Home in Mayfair Street, London - July 1946

A very beautiful woman with masses of dark curly hair stood in her silk dressing gown at the door to her bedroom with a very stern look on her face.

"This is absolutely the last straw!" she said to a handsome man who stood opposite her. "I simply cannot live with you anymore. I thought you would change for me, I thought my love would do it, but I was totally wrong. You are incapable of change. I want you out of this house and out of my life. For good!"

"Well, if that's the way you want it..."

"That's the way I want it."

She followed the man out to the car with a suitcase of his things and threw it at him. The weight of the suitcase threw him into the car through the open door. He recovered, and with a straight face, he walked right up to the woman and kissed her squarely on the mouth. She struggled against his grasp and when he finally let go, she slapped him.

"Good bye, Liz." and with that, he got into the car and left, tires squealing.

Chapter 1

Office of Mr. Wickham, Editor of Spy Magazine, Boston - Spring, two years later

"Mr. Bingley, sir. Mr. Wickham wants to see you in his office right away. You too Miss Benetton." Miss King, the secretary said as they walked out of the elevator.

"No more, Jane. No more. I'm through writing for this tabloid. I never should have gotten started in this business. I should be writing short stories again, and I'm going to tell Mr. George Wickham just that!"

"Right, Charles. You tell him just that." Jane said resignedly as if she'd heard this before.

"I'm going to tell him that I'm through with his magazine and I won't take anymore of his asinine assignments."

"Uh-huh."

They walked into the office and Mr. Wickham immediately began talking.

"Ahh! My best team! I have a new assignment for you! The story of the century! I tell you, if we can do this right, we'll launch Spy into a new era of greatness."

"Mr. Wickham..." Charles interjected.

"Are you ready for this, it's a big one this time, no one has ever been able to..."

"George..."

"This will be an absolute sensation! "

"Mr. Wickham!"

"The best social story..."

"George!" Charles practically yelled.

"What is it, dear boy? You look positively red in the face!"

"We're not going to do this story. I refuse to be party to a degrading expose on whichever society family you've chosen next. I don't care what you do you me, it's wrong to take people's...private lives and..." he searched for the words, "splash them about as if they were entertainment!" he spat. "So...that's all...and...Goodbye!" he said finally.

"Goodbye job, goodbye food, goodbye house..." Jane muttered under her breath.

"You can't be serious, old sport." Mr. Wickham said. "You're my best writer. I need the best for this story, and you'd better deliver. You too, Miss Benetton, I expect photographs of everything..."

"What's the assignment?" Jane asked nonchalantly.

"The wedding of British debutante, Elizabeth Bennet to American coal mining great, Richard Fitzwilliam." Mr. Wickham said grandly, obviously expecting some great show of awe.

"What are you saying, Jane?? We are not taking this story!" Charles said emphatically.

"Right," said Jane calmly.

"Ok, Miss I-have-all-the-answers, how are we supposed to get in close to the Bennets to get the story, huh?" Charles was now pacing around the room. "I suppose we just walk right up to the front door of their mansion and say, 'Hi, we're from Spy Magazine and we'd like to do a story on your wedding, Miss Bennet.' I suppose you both think that if we smile real nicely, that the Bennet's will forget that they don't ever let reporters and photographers near them, let alone invite them to their weddings!" Charles leaned on Wickham's desk and said this last part a little louder.

"Are you quite finished, Mr. Bingley? Send the gentleman in, Miss King." Wickham said into the intercom on his desk.

The door opened and William Darcy walked into the room.

"Oh, I see. It's all so clear now!" Said Charles, with not a small amount of sarcasm in his voice. "We take this, whoever-he-is, and just attend the wedding as if were invited! Who are you anyway, friend of the family?"

"You could say that." William said in a decidedly British accent.

"And you think you can just walk right in with a couple of strangers and just attend the wedding?" Charles asked with a little less sarcasm.

"You could say that." William replied.

"You could also say that you were her first husband, once upon a time." Jane said smartly.

"Yes, you could also say that." William said with no change in his face or his voice, except a small smile at Jane. He looked at her for a moment and asked, "Have I met you somewhere? I vaguely remember your face."

"Yes, on your honeymoon, I was the only photographer whose camera you didn't throw into the Mediterranean. You only exposed all my film."

"Quite the gentleman." Charles said snidely.

"On occasion," William admitted, "But only when I have to be." he smiled slightly

"Well," Charles continued. "This makes it all better, doesn't it? We parade around England with Miss Bennet's very much ex-husband, and that will make her want to invite us to her wedding and answer all our questions."

"Not quite, Bingley. Mr. Darcy and I have cooked up quite a little scheme, Haven't we Darce, old sport?" Wickham smiled, William did not.

"Hrm..." Wickham continued. "Yes, well, Mr. Darcy has spent the last two years in Paris in the company of Miss Bennet's beloved cousin, William Collins. The plan is that Mr. Darcy will show up with the two of you and tell the Bennets that you two are..."

"...Old friends of dear old cousin William." Jane finished with a nod. "I understand. But won't they think it's a little odd if I keep snapping pictures of everything, though?"

"We'll have to send you with a touristy type camera, and you'll explain how you've never been to England before, and how dear old cousin William wants lots of pictures if his dear sister's wedding."

William looked a little uncomfortable, but only Charles noticed.

"Won't they be a little upset when they read the article?" Charles asked, concerned.

"Well, we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it, won't we." Wickham smiled. "I'm expecting a top-notch story on this one, guys, and you better not disappoint me, right old sport?" Wickham looked pointedly at Darcy. Darcy gave a stiff nod.

"Well, off you go, I've got work to do." And Wickham dismissed them from his office.

Chapter 2

A Country Manor in Derby - two weeks later

The Bennets were an extremely wealthy family. The kind of family about which newspaper people get homicidal for the chance of a good story. Mrs. Francis Bennet came from a very well to do banking family in London, and traveled in the highest social circles. Gen. Thomas Bennet had made his fame in the war serving as a military advisor to Mr. Churchill. They were married in 1918 and it was considered by many to be the social event of the year. They had suffered slightly in the Depression, but as their assets were not invested, the blow was not hard and they survived and managed to remain in the upper echelons of society.

The fog was thick one morning as Elizabeth Bennet rolled out of her bed. She rubbed her eyes and looked around her room. The typical room of a girl who has always had whatever she always wanted: canopy bed, flowered wallpaper, fluffy rug, brass and marble everywhere, it was the kind of room any little girl would give her eye teeth for - well, Elizabeth was 28 and she couldn't wait to leave it.

Not too long now, she thought, I'm getting married tomorrow to a man I love.

Elizabeth was a beautiful woman. She had class, privilege, virtue, all the things a man desires in a wife, all the same, her one attempt at marriage had not been successful. Elizabeth had met Mr. William Fitzgerald George Darcy when she was twenty years old on one of her world cruises. Not that she hadn't heard of him; Mr. Darcy was easily the richest man in the British Empire. He had an income of over seven million pounds a year, and a great estate in Derby, which he did not deign to leave often. Many said he was proud and haughty, but, upon closer acquaintance, he proved merely reserved and modest. Elizabeth was swept away by his charm and incredible good looks. She brought him home and introduced him to the family. They immediately were taken with him and the wedding date was set. Plans were made, the whole of society was invited, but on the day of the wedding, the bride and bridegroom took matters into their own hands. They boarded a yacht named The True Love, eloped to Monaco, and spent their honeymoon in the French Riviera. Six slow years later, the fizzling marriage ended, and Elizabeth Bennet returned home, a sadder and somewhat more disillusioned woman.

And here she was, on the day before her wedding, thinking of him!

This will never do, she thought. Liam Darcy is out of my life forever, and my marrying Richard Fitzwilliam tomorrow will prove that to the world! She smiled self-assuredly to herself and went to the window.

Just then her little sister Kitty bounced into the room.

"Mother wants your help with the wedding presents. Gee, you sure slept late!"

"Isn't it a lovely day!" Elizabeth sighed, "The sun is shining the birds are singing, Isn't it just beautiful!"

"You've gone crackers!" Kitty said. "Totally and completely crackers! Well, you better get downstairs, Richard will be here in a little while anyway" and with that, she scampered off.

Elizabeth sighed happily and went to her wardrobe. When she finished getting dressed she went downstairs to find her mother. Mrs. Bennet was in the conservatory, standing before a large table covered with silver dishes. She held a clipboard and had a pen in her mouth.

"Why did everyone decide to give me silver? You would think that they'd be a little more original!" Elizabeth complained.

"My dear, this is London society we are talking about." Her mother answered in a calm voice.

"Right, I remember, no more original than a school of fish!"

Kitty bounced into the room and picked up a rather large, extravagant diamond necklace.

"Not everyone gave you silver dishes. This is hideous!" she said holding up the necklace.

"Don't say things like that, Kitty, it's vulgar!" her mother admonished.

"Who gave you this?? If it was my wedding, I'd uninvite them." Kitty held her nose.

"Well its not you're wedding so you can keep your comments to yourself." Elizabeth replied.

"All right, I'm leaving. I only came to tell you that Richard is here. " Kitty stuck out her tongue and ran off.

"Kitty! Come back here, where is he?" Elizabeth called frantically after her sister.

"At the stables with Uncle Gardiner!" Kitty yelled as she ran off.

"Don't yell in the house dear!" her mother called after her absentmindedly.

"Well, I've got to go see my knight in shining armor, Mother" Elizabeth smiled.

"You go do that." Mrs. Bennet said as she hugged her daughter.

"Is he perfect?!" Elizabeth said in a mock-serious voice.

"Yes, dear."

"Is he handsome?!"

"Yes, dear." Mrs. Bennet sighed.

"I liked Liam." pouted a voice from around the corner.

"Oh yeah? Well, no one asked you!" Elizabeth said.

"He was fun," Kitty moped showing her face around the corner. "He talked about things. Richard never talks about things."

"That is because Richard is far more refined and cultured than William Darcy ever was." Elizabeth said in her snootiest voice.

"I liked Liam," Kitty grumbled again.

Elizabeth tweaked Kitty's nose and ran up to her room to change into her riding habit.

"Just between us dear, I'm with you." Mrs. Bennet said conspiratorially. Kitty grinned widely.

Chapter 3

Posted on Thursday, 22 June 2000

First Class Section of Trans-Atlantic Flight # 2112 - that morning, ETA 8:30 am

"So, Darcy. Why are you doing this? What's in it for you?" Charles asked by way of conversation. They were on their way to London's Heathrow Airport, the day before Elizabeth's wedding.

"Yeah, I've been wondering that myself" Jane added.

"Revenge, of a kind, on an ex-wife?" William half asked, hoping they would accept this answer.

"Nope, not good enough." Charles said decidedly. "I could tell you didn't want to be in that slime ball's office anymore than we did. You're not enjoying this one little bit." Charles grumbled, concurring.

"I see you've seen through my flimsy veil of deception. I hate George Wickham with a passion, always have. He's always trying to send his reporters after me for a story. Never leaving me alone. The Bennet's don't like him much either.

"So, why are you doing this, I still don't understand."

"Well, let's just say that it's the lesser of two evils. George Wickham is holding a story about General Bennet that, if published, would ruin the family indefinitely. Most people don't know, but the General has only half retired for the military. He still works occasionally with the Prime Minister and Parliament on top-secret matters of national security, that's why the Bennet's town house is on Downing Street. It's only a few doors down from Prime Minister Attlee. General Bennet's main work is in training spies for work. One of these candidates, whom he has been spending particular time with, is a dancer and barmaid in an establishment of rather ill repute. The story involves a very scandalous story, based on lies, regarding a clandestine affair between the General and this young lady. Naturally, If the story were to go to print, the General would be unable to defend himself without blowing this young lady's cover."

"Dreadful..." Jane shook her head.

"Shocking..." Charles looked dumbfounded. "I knew Wickham was a rat, but I didn't think he could sink that low!"

"Yes, well, Mr. Wickham informed me that if I would help you write this story, that he would print it instead. So here I am. What ever the newspapers printed about our divorce, I loved Liz and her family very much, still do, as a matter of fact, and I would go to the ends of the earth to spare them pain."

"If I was more of a sentimental girl, I might have tears in my eyes." Jane said, matter-of-factly.

"You're a good egg, Darcy." Charles said finally.

"Please," William said with a smile. "Call me William."

"Then I'm Charles."

"And I'm Jane."

"And I'm Shirley," said the stewardess. "Can I take your drink orders please?"

Chapter 4

The Bennet's Manor, Longbourn - 9:00 am.

A large black car pulled up to the stables and stopped at the gate. Elizabeth ad kitty stepped out of the car.

"Thank you James," Elizabeth smiled at the driver. "Say hello to my father for me at the station when you go to pick him up, he arrives from London on the noon train."

"Good bye, miss" the driver smiled back.

Kitty waved and, as soon as the car was out of sight down the road, Elizabeth put her arm around her sister and strolled up to the stables.

When they got there, they found an older, gray-haired, slightly stout man trying unsuccessfully to mount a horse.

"Uncle Gardiner! You'll never get up that way, silly!" Kitty laughed.

"Oh, hello girls!" Edward Gardiner smiled as he gave up with the horse and handed him back to the stable hand. "Here Sam, I give up for today." He huffed and collapsed into a patio chair. "Lizzy, Richard was just...now, wait a minute...I promise I just saw..." Edward looked around and scratched his head.

"Never mind, uncle." Elizabeth sighed. "I'm sure he'll be along."

Edward opened a magazine on the table and sat back in the shade.

"Lizzy, my dear, why don't you sit down here in the shade, keep your old Uncle company for awhile. You too Kitty, have a glass of lemonade." and he sat back to read his magazine.

"Oh, honestly Uncle, how can you read such filth?" Elizabeth reproached, indicating the magazine.

"What, Spy? Pish-posh, it's harmless, really. Just a bunch of old spinsters with nothing to do but gossip about their society neighbors is what; just a bunch of old women peering through windows and over fences. It's only filth if it concerns ones own family, and we would never allow that, would we, my dear?" Edward replied with a wink.

"Never." Elizabeth declared resolutely. "The day that awful publication has a word to say about my family is the day I'm crowned Queen of England."

"Depend upon it my dear, if you were ever crowned Queen of England, that 'awful publication would have a great deal to say about this family!" Edward chuckled. Their laughter was interrupted, however, when a rather handsome looking young man appeared around the corner of the dressing rooms.

"Well, I dare say!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "Who could this dashing, debonair young man be? Can Lizzy pick them or what?" she laughed.

"Well, there's my princess!" came an American drawl. Richard Fitzwilliam picked Elizabeth up and twirled her around in the air. "How do I look?" he asked as he set her back down, indicating his new riding suit. "I figured that if you're gonna teach me how to ride a horse, might as well look the part, right?"

"You look fine!" Elizabeth replied. "Just fine, darling"

"Hallo, Richard" Edward said calmly.

"Howdy, Uncle! Hello there, little lady!" Richard looked at Kitty.

"How do you do, Mr. Fitzwilliam?" Kitty put on her best proper British voice and manners, and curtsied respectfully.

"Come on Rich," Elizabeth said as Sam returned with three horses. "Let's go!"

Elizabeth and Kitty mounted their horses expertly and looked towards Edward.

"You go on darlings, your poor old uncle will just sit here in the shade. These bones just aren't what they used to be." and he settled back with his magazine and his drink.

Richard meanwhile was having a devil of a time getting on his horse. First, he tried to get up on the left side, and the horse, for some reason, did not like that one bit and reared up. Then he tried the other side on Elizabeth's prompting, and was not having much luck there either. Finally, Sam had to help him on and get him steady, all the while, Elizabeth was looking very worried, Edward was chuckling a great deal, and Kitty, poor Kitty, was struggling very hard to keep back the tears and keep from falling off her horse in a fit of giggles. Once Richard was on the horse, he couldn't seem to get it to go in the direction he wanted, or even to stand still.

"Down, Bessie, whoa, girl!" he said unsteadily. "Hey what's the matter with this girl?"

"I wouldn't keep still if you were calling me 'Bessie' either!" Kitty struggled to keep her proper manner and voice. "Especially if my name was Philippe!" and with that, she cantered off, to keep from laughing.

Chapter 5

Posted on Monday, 3 July 2000

Longbourn - 12:30 p.m.

After the ride, Elizabeth took a shower and changed her clothes. When she went to rejoin her family at tea, she saw, much to her happiness, that Richard was still there.

"Oh, wonderful, Richard! Now you will be here to meet Papa when he comes!" Elizabeth smiled and sat down to tea.

"Another place for luncheon, Jeeves." Mrs. Bennet called for the butler.

"Yes ma'am." came Jeeves' voice.

"I wonder where your father is?" continued Mrs. Bennet. "James is not usually this late." and she glanced a little nervously at the clock.

"Don't worry, Mama. I'm sure they will be here any minute."

"Punctuality is always to be desired in a true gentleman" Kitty said with a pointed look at Richard, who was notorious for being late. It wasn't that Kitty didn't like Richard, it was just that she loved to poke fun at him; he was such an easy target. The object of her comment turned slightly red, but said nothing. Elizabeth shot daggers out of her eyes at her sister.

"Yes...hrm...well, care for a scone, Francis?" said Edward, trying not to laugh.

Just then, as if the situation wasn't awkward enough, Jeeves entered.

"Mr. Bennet..." Jeeves began to introduce the newly arrived to the assembled family but was interrupted.

"Papa!" Kitty ran to hug her father. Elizabeth turned to smile at her father, and Mrs. Bennet finally relaxed.

"Mr. Darcy..." Jeeves continued.

Elizabeth was shocked, to say the least. They all were, but more pleasantly so that was Elizabeth. She just stood there, her eyes narrowed, and her face turning a little red. Kitty, however regained her senses admirably, dropped all pretense of propriety and fully jumped into the arms of a waiting William.

"Oh, Liam!! I am so happy to see you! Tu n'as pas idée ŕ quel point tu m'as manqué Pourquoi as-tu attendu si longtemps pour venir?" [You have no idea how I've missed you! Why did you wait so long to come?] In her excitement, Kitty accidentally slipped into French.

"My goodness, Cherie! Je suis heureuse de te voir moi aussi! Je suis désolée d'avoir mis si longtemps pour venir te voir, mais j'espčre que tu me pardonneras! [I'm glad to see you too! I'm sorry I took so long to visit, but I hope you'll forgive me!] Hello, mother how are you?" He addressed Mrs. Bennet. "Well, I hope...Edward! I'm very pleased to see you again, and I have some thing very particular to discuss with you. How are all of you? William sends his love from Paris, but regrettably he cannot make it himself. But he did send me with..."

"Mr. Charles Bingley, Miss Jane Benetton." finished an exasperated Jeeves.

"Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Bennet, Mr. Edward Gardiner, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and Miss Kitty Bennet." William said by way of an introduction, noticeably skipping Richard. "Mr. Bingley and Miss Benetton are old friends of Cousin William's and mine from Paris. Well, actually they're not from Paris, they're Americans, from Boston. Mr. Bingley is a writer."

Elizabeth was the first to recover from her shock and as soon as she did, she attempted to set William's egregious oversight to rights.

"Mr. Bingley, Miss Benetton, this is my fiancé, Mr. Richard Fitzwilliam." she said with a small degree of poison in her voice, directed at William.

Richard, who had up until now been suffering from quite a degree of embarrassment, stood to shake hands with Jane and Charles.

"Well, I can't tell you what a relief it is to meet a few familiar accents, very pleased to meet you. I'm from Charleston, myself - in the coal refining business."

"Ah!" said Charles, noticeably relieved. "I'm a writer, and Jane is my assistant - she's a photographer actually."

During this conversation, Elizabeth had snuck into the next room and dragged William with her. She now stood staring incredulously at him.

"How do you do it? How do you sit there and talk with my family as though nothing has happened? How dare you come back here after everything that's happened, and on the day before my wedding!!"

"I thought you'd be happy to see me, Liz."

"You'd better have a damn good explanation, William Darcy." Elizabeth said calmly. "Where do you get off calling my mother 'Mother'!!" she exploded.

"Well, that's what I called her for six years, darling..."

"Don't call me that!" she snapped.

"...it seemed silly to change, I didn't divorce her you know."

"Oooh! You are the most insufferable, despicable, cruel... intolerable... despicable...

"You said despicable."

"...oafs, I've ever had the misfortune to meet...oh, and what was all that French nonsense with my sister, people will think you two are old friends!"

"But we are old friends, Et pourquoi n'aimes tu pas le français? C'est dommage car c'est une trčs jolie langue. Je me demande pourquoi tu as pris la peine de l'apprendre si bien." [and why don't you like French? Pity, it's a beautiful language; I wonder you took the trouble to learn it so well.]

"Je n'ai jamais dis que je n'aimais pas le français! [I don't dislike French!] Oh, look now you've got me going it. I just don't like you getting so close to my sister. It will be bad for her to get close to you and then you'll leave. I want you to leave right now, and..."

"My dear," William interrupted her, "Could we continue this lovely animated discussion some other time, we have company."

"Excuse me, but I was wondering if you could show me the way to the bathroom," Charles asked a little timidly. "I was given directions, but I think I need a road map to get around this house!"

"Certainly, I'll show you!" and with one last glare at Darcy, Elizabeth quit the room.

"Well, that certainly went well." Jane said from the doorway with a little laugh.

"Don't worry about Liz," Darcy replied, "I'm just glad she took it all out on me!"

"Richard has gone, I guess he felt a little awkward...I would too, I guess."

"Yes."

The door opened a crack and Edward poked his head in.

"Pardon, I don't mean to interrupt, but Lily, the chambermaid, is here to show you to your rooms, Miss Benetton."

"Thank you. Excuse me, William." and with a smile, she left.

"Did you want to see me about something Liam??"

"Yes, why don't you sit down here, can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you."

"Yes, well this could take some time." William pulled something out of his breast pocket.

"In that case..."

Charles managed to find his way to his room and flopped into a chair. There was a slight knock on the door and Jane poked her head in.

"Are you decent?" She grinned.

"Too late now, isn't it?" Charles said without looking up.

"So, what do you think?" Jane sat down next to him. "I've got pictures all around the house and of everyone. 'Certainly you must take pictures for dear cousin William, how simply dreadful that he couldn't come himself, Lizzy is most disappointed...' I bet she is." Jane said in a perfect imitation of Mrs. Bennet. "They're not that bad, though - I'm almost sorry to be doing this."

"Me too, I would've stopped before now if it wasn't for that other story..."

"That little sister though, she's something else," Jane laughed. "As soon as Elizabeth left with William, did you hear how she went off in French!"

"Yep, these society folks are another something, aren't they?"

"When you left she started playing the French national anthem on the piano. It doesn't stop there, she went on to play Bei Mir Bist Du Schon and Someday My Prince Will Come!"

"Wow! She's a cute kid though."

"Hey, if we want to get to the library, we'd better hurry, there's a sort of pre-wedding party we're invited to tonight."

"Right, let's go."

Author's Note: Thanks very much to that fabulous Frenchwoman SandyLiz who helped me with the translations to French!

Chapter 6

Posted on Wednesday, 10 July 2000

South Parlor, Longbourn - A Little Later

Edward sat looking at William and tapping the article in his hand.

"So, they're really reporters from Spy, eh? What a dreadful thing to happen" Edward shook his head disapprovingly.

"Yep, so you can see the sort of mess I'm in." William said ruefully.

"You certainly are good to do this for the family."

"Don't kid yourself, you know who I'm doing it for. I mean I love you all and all that, but..."

"Elizabeth." Edward said matter-of-factly. "I can't believe how perfectly unreasonable she's being about this whole thing. He's your complete opposite, you know. The only reason anyone puts up with him is because of her."

"You're only saying that to make me feel better."

"Well it worked, didn't it? Why don't you come to the party tonight?"

"I really think it would be best for me to stay away from this one. Besides, I haven't been invited."

"Nonsense, it's my house and I can invite who I like."

"Perhaps another time, Edward."

"All right." Edward said resignedly. "At least stick around here for a little while, keep an old man like me company. I tell you what, let's go to the billiard room and I'll give you a chance to beat me, say what?"

"All right, but prepare to lose!"

Chapter 7

Meryton Library - 1:30 pm.

Charles and Jane took a car into town and walked up to the library.

"Ok, Charles. You go inside, see what you can find out, I'm going to get a manicure."

"I'll see you in a little while."

"Good luck."

Jane walked off across the street to a beauty salon and took a seat right by the window, where she had a nice view of the library. Charles walked in. For a small town, it was a pretty big library. Charles figured there should be books on the history of prominent families, of which the Bennets were the most prominent. He walked up to the first librarian he saw.

"Excuse me, but where are the local histories, biographies."

"Around the corner, just here, and to your left."

"Thank you, thank you very much."

Charles walked around the corner, but before he could turn left, he saw a woman sitting and reading. Upon closer inspection he saw that she was reading his book. His one and only book! He was completely floored. He stood there for a moment and looked at her until she turned around.

"Look, I know that this is a public library, but..." she looked up and saw him. It was Elizabeth. "Oh, Charles, I didn't see it was you." She smiled.

"Couldn't you afford to buy my book?" he said wryly.

"The bookstore didn't have it, I phoned. It's very good, I especially like the story called 'With The Rich and Mighty..."

"...Always a Little Patience'."

"Yes. It's very original."

"I got it from a Chinese folk story I heard once."

She eyed him critically. "I don't think I understand you anymore. You act big and strong, and then you write this, poetry. It's simply beautiful."

"Well, thank you. Maybe I'm a little of both."

"Hm-mm. I don't think so." she shook her head lightly. "I think the tough exterior is something you put on. I know something about that," she said wistfully. "Say, why don't we get out of here? I'm just dying for a swim!"

She hopped up out of her seat and they left. As they walked down the library steps together and got in to the car, Jane saw them from across the street and gave a little gasp.

"Beg your pardon, miss, was that too hard?" the manicurist asked.

"No, no. I'm used to it." she said, still staring out the window.

3 Elizabeth and Charles drove back to the house and parted at the door.

"Mr. Bingley, thank you for this lovely ride. I look forward to seeing you at my uncle's this evening for the party."

"I look forward to seeing you too, Miss Bennet, and if you don't mind, would you save me a dance?"

"Oh, call me Elizabeth! And of course I'll save you a dance!"

"Then call me Charles..." he began as he saw Richard rounding the corner of the house. "Are you sure you're fiancé won't mind?"

Elizabeth, who didn't see Richard behind her, laughed. "Of course not!" she replied.

"What won't I mind?" Richard smiled as he sauntered right up behind Elizabeth.

"Oh!" Elizabeth squealed as she turned around. "Richard, darling - what have you gotten yourself into while I was away?"

"Chatting with Mr. Darcy and your uncle over a couple games of billiards!" Richard said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Very decent guy, this Darcy!"

"Oh Richard, how could you!?" Elizabeth exploded. "My own fiancé! Chatting with my horrible ex-husband! What in the world could you find to say to each other?"

"Now calm down, Sugar! It was perfectly harmless, I promise you. We only talked about you."

"Well I didn't think you were talking about coal refining!! Ooooohh! This is completely insupportable!" she fumed. "Why couldn't he just go away!"

"Shh, Dahlin'" he soothed in his honeyed drawl. "It's all right, I made sure he was a perfect gentleman. Why, he was full of nice things to say about you." she glared at him. "Not too nice, though, of course - I made sure of that, too" he smiled.

"I bet." Elizabeth murmured.

"Now, what won't I mind?"

"Oh, only if I dance one dance with..." she turned around to find Charles gone. he had left discreetly without either of them noticing and was now on his way to find Kitty.

Chapter 8

The Conservatory at Longbourn. 4:45 pm.

He saw her in the conservatory, one of the three rooms in the house he actually knew how to get to. She was engaged in a very animated discussion with William.

"Oh, Liam! I'm so glad you've come - this wedding would have been a dreadfully boring affair indeed without you!"

"Kitty, you know I can't come to the wedding, what would your mother think?"

"I would think that the chapel had suddenly become a great deal more charming!" Exclaimed Mrs. Bennet, "And if I were in charge, I'd have you there quicker than you could say Jack Robinson!"

William laughed, "Well, Mother, I thank you for that," he looked at Kitty, "but you know it would be a discomfort to your sister, and you know I could never do that."

"I know." Kitty grumbled. "I just wish she did - you're far better for her than this frightful American..."

"Hey, now! We're not that bad!" Charles interjected.

"Oh no, in Heaven's name of course not!" Kitty amended. "Just him! He's so pompous and...he's a stuffed suit, that's what he is, a stuffed suit."

"Well, I think it would be safer if I stayed away from this topic of conversation," William chuckled. "Lord knows I'm not exactly impartial!"

"Things would have been a whole lot better off if Lizzy had just stayed with you!" Kitty fumed. "I never get to see you anymore!"

"Well, that is easily repaired," William smiled. "I'll be here at Pemberley for an indefinite stay, so you may pop over anytime you like, it's only a twenty minute drive or so. That is, if it's all right with your parents." William looked at Mrs. Bennet who was fixing the flowers.

"Of course it's all right with me! What, did you think I could say no to a son whom I love so dearly? Nonsense!"

"There! Now I am the happiest creature! I adore Pemberley! Pray, is Georgiana still there?"

"Well, no." William said matter-of-factly. "My sister is in London at the townhouse for the present, but..." he smiled. "I am sure she would love to hear from her favorite little sister..." he hinted. "And if she would write her a letter..."

"I'm already there!" Kitty exclaimed as she bounded out of the room.

"Oh, Liam - I am so glad you are here, for Kitty's sake. How she pined for you while you were in Paris."

"I missed her as well, but you will forgive me when I admit that, though I love her dearly, she was not uppermost in my thoughts..."

"Of course not dear," Mrs. Bennet smiled. "Oh good gracious!" she said as she glanced at the clock. "Five o'clock already! I beg you to excuse me Gentlemen I must find my daughter. It wouldn't do to be late to a party at which one was the guest of honor!" and with that she flew out of the room.

"Darcy, you don't happen to know where Jane is, do you? I was looking for Kitty, but I don't think I'll need to interview her anymore"

"Yes, she certainly is one for speaking her mind, much like her sister in that respect..." he was lost in thought for a moment. "Erm...yes," he shook his head as if to get rid of his thoughts. "I did see Jane - I saw her just before you came in, went upstairs to get ready, I believe."

"Ah, yes thank you. Please excuse me."

"Of course, old sport."

Charles left and William got up to walk around the room. He stopped to admire the rose bush and sighed to himself.

"Richard, you haven't seen my father have you...oh, it's you." Elizabeth walked into the room and stopped short when she saw William. "Why don't you just go away? Haven't you done enough?"

"You're wrong, my dear. You see that was exactly my problem, I never did quite enough."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Elizabeth said in a dignified tone of voice.

"I never worshipped you quite enough, I never wanted to bow before the Golden Goddess..." he sighed in resignation. "But I suppose you've found someone who manages that quite well, haven't you."

"Of course not!" Elizabeth scoffed. "Richard and I have something you could never understand. A completely equal loving relationship."

"No you don't, you only think you do. You are only attracted to Richard because he's everything I am not. He's willing to bend to you and let you lead him around by the nose, and all he asks in return is that he be allowed to worship and adore you."

"That's ridiculous - you don't even know him."

"No, but I know you, and I know that Richard could never satisfy you. Because sooner or later you are going to tire of his flattering attentions and realize that the scale is completely unbalanced."

"Well, something in this room is completely unbalanced!" Elizabeth mumbled.

"You need someone who can match your passion and energy, someone who will call your bluff. You need someone that will love you for the person you are, someone who will be able to check you and make up for your faults, not be blind to them."

"Richard knows I have faults, and he loves me in spite of them."

"No he doesn't - he has put you up on a pedestal. Which is exactly what you wanted, isn't it? To be loved and adored? Then why aren't you happy, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth paused for a moment. How could she be letting this happen? How could she be letting him get under her skin like this? Wasn't it enough that he was here? Why did he have to make her doubt her motives? No! she thought. I am not going to let him do this! I am not going to let him gain control of this situation!

"I am happy!" she smiled confidently. "I am wonderfully, perfectly, deliriously happy. I've never been happier in my life, I'm getting married tomorrow to a man I love..."

"To a man you loves you."

"...to a man I love, and we will be the happiest couple that ever lived!" she finished triumphantly.

"Yes, of course. The lovesick lowly serf and the Golden Queen."

"I'm not a golden queen.."

"Good Lord, I know that! But I think your fiancé needs a little convincing."

"Richard doesn't think I'm a golden queen either... we love each other!" she said, more to convince herself than anything else.

"And what will you do when your serf realizes that he wants to be loved and adored in return?"

At this point, William was too tired to go on any further and so he left Elizabeth to her thoughts.

Chapter 10

Posted on Wednesday, 9 July 2000

5:30 pm

Charles walked upstairs plunged into his thoughts. Elizabeth Grace Bennet had more to her than met the eye. She was more than a statistic on his paper, or an article in his magazine. His magazine, he thought ruefully. Here he was, a writer, about to seriously mess up her life for what? Well, he thought. It's better than what the other story would do. Just then he reached his bedroom and saw Jane sitting on the bed. She was wearing her evening dress and she looked beautiful.

"Wow! You look nice!"

"Thanks. Did you find out much at the library?" she replied with a wry smile

"Yep, but not from the books, Elizabeth Bennet was there."

"Oh?" Jane said sarcastically

"Yes," Charles looked at her oddly. "Anyway, she told me everything I needed to know..."

"About the family history...?"

"Family history? Oh, yes...right, umm...family history, yes." he said a little flustered.

"Well I found out a little too."

"Really? What?"

"There's an Aunt Phillips who's definitely crazy."

"Where'd you pick that up?" Charles laughed.

"Kitty told me."

"And Kitty should know...did you talk to the mother at all?"

"We had tea, she's very nice. So is...hrm...Uncle Gardiner"

"Uncle Gardiner?"

"He asked me to call him that. And Fitzwilliam..."

"What about him?"

"A fruitcake - very southern, very polite, but a fruitcake nonetheless." she said decisively.

"Ah, well..." Charles would have continued, but there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." called Jane.

"Miss Benetton, I wonder if I might have a word...oh, Mr. Bingley, how nice to see you too! Am I interrupting anything?" Mrs. Bennet walked into the room.

"Not at all, please come in." Jane smiled.

"It's just that I've come to tell you you're welcome to ride in our car to the party if you'd like. It would be no trouble at all and we would be so glad if you'd come with us."

"Thank you, but will there be room enough for all of us?" Charles asked.

"Oh yes, it will only be the two of you and Thomas and Kitty and I."

"Well, in that case we'd be delighted." Jane smiled.

"All right, then I'll leave you two to get dressed. When you're ready, won't you join us in the parlor for a cocktail?"

"We'll be right down, thank you Mrs. Bennet."

"Not at all my dear" she smiled kindly and left the room.

"Well talk later - you need to get ready" and with that she also left.

Chapter 11

6:00 pm

Elizabeth left the conservatory and was on her way to her room when her father stopped her.

"My dear, I'd like a word."

"Yes Papa?"

"I saw the way you flirted with that young man and I want to make sure you know what you're doing."

"Flirted, Papa? I most certainly was not flirting. Please remember I am an engaged woman!" she said indignantly.

"Yes, you are my dear. But it seems to me that your fiancé is not of the same mettle as you are, and wouldn't take such a cavalier attitude...just the musings of an old man, my dear." he said gently.

"Richard understands me, something which I wonder if you ever did."

"I understand you all too well my dear. You are beautiful and fortunate and kind and polite and everything a lady should be, but you are not very forgiving or tolerant, and until you have some compassion for human frailty, you'll never be a true lady."

"I think that is a horrible thing to say to anyone." Elizabeth slowly replied.

"Yes it is, and I'm sorry I have to say it, but that, my dear, is why your marriage to Liam didn't last, and it is why your marriage to Richard is doomed to failure."

"It is not doomed, we love each other and I don't expect to be treated like any queen or anything. I know I'll make mistakes and so will he, but that doesn't matter...much..."

"You could not forgive poor Liam for being less than perfect, and, excuse me for saying so, but Richard is far less perfect. Come to think of it, why did you pick Richard anyway?"

"Because he's kind and gentle and he's never been given anything. He's had to work all his life. He's been poor and he's had to climb his way up and fight for everything."

"And...?" pushed Mr. Bennet, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"...And, he's the total opposite from William Fitzgerald George Darcy!" she finished emphatically.

"Do you know what I think?"

"No, what you think?" Elizabeth asked, not really wanting to know.

"I think he's just a swing from Liam. But he's too much of a swing my dear. Richard is no tower of strength, my dear, he's just a tower..."

"You hardly know him!"

"To hardly know him is to know him well. All he'll do is try to make roads easy for you, he'll try to give you the life you're accustomed to, and he'll work the shirt off his back to try and keep you from having to."

"He won't need to do that for me - I can manage."

"You've been gotten out of things your whole life. There isn't a path that hasn't been made easy; there isn't a blow that hasn't been softened. It's partly my fault, no; it's mostly my fault. You've been brought up like some sort of glass ornament and you've become brittle."

"...A glass ornament?" Elizabeth said, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"...and now you resent anyone who doesn't treat you like that. You don't do it on purpose, you don't even know you do it. Now I wonder; will you be strong? Will you take this information, now that you know, and use it to better yourself? Or will you buckle under it, or worse, dismiss it? The choice is yours; will you continue the way you were brought up and marry Richard or will you strengthen your heart and try to amend past mistakes? I think we both know what I mean..."

Elizabeth didn't say anything. she just followed her father to the parlor. When she got there everyone was already there; Mrs. Bennet, Charles, Jane, Mr. Gardiner, even Kitty.

"This is my first party and my dress looks like a big meringue!" she complained. "Can I at least have a cocktail?"

"Heavens child! Certainly not, at your age?" her mother scolded her.

"Oh!" she pouted.

"I love you my dear, I hope you will learn to love yourself as I do, and that you will make us both proud." he kissed her on her forehead. "Are we all ready, my dear?" he held out his arm to Mrs. Bennet. "Kitty? Miss Benetton? Mr. Bingley?"

Jane and Kitty followed the Bennets, but Charles stayed behind a moment.

"Aren't you coming?"

"Yes - Richard will be along to pick me up in a moment."

"Are you sure you're okay? What's wrong?"

"If you find out, you tell me." Elizabeth smiled.

"I wish I knew." he said sadly. "Your face is too pretty to be sad like that."

"Just remember, Charles, 'With the rich and mighty..."

"...always a little patience'?" Charles finished.

Elizabeth nodded and Charles left her alone in the room. Elizabeth looked around for a moment and walked over to the bar. It's going to be a long night, she thought to herself. Then, one right after the other, she drank four glasses of champagne.

Chapter 12

Mr. Gardiner's home in Derby - 3:00 am

Mr. Gardiner's home was decorated beautifully for the party and nearly all of society was in attendance. Or at least, they were in attendance at some point in the evening, but the only guests left now were the ones who'd had too much wine, or the ones taking care of them. Elizabeth and Richard were one such couple.

"What a wonderful evening!" Elizabeth waltzed on to the terrace in Richard's arms.

"Do you know what time it is?"

"No..."

"It's three o'clock."

"Three o'clock!" Lizzy sighed happily.

"Do you know, your friend, William Darcy, left us a wedding present..."

"Oh?" Lizzy eyed him suspiciously.

"It was a kind of model boat..."

"A sailboat?"

"Yes as a matter of fact, it was."

"The True Love..." she grumbled.

"Pardon?"

"The True Love. It was a boat he designed and built practically all by himself. We sailed it around the Mediterranean almost the whole first year we were married. My, she was yar..." she said longingly, almost regretfully.

"Yar, sugar?"

"Yar...it means easy to handle, quick to the helm, " she sighed. "That is until is develops dry rot!" she said accusingly. "You don't really mind him, do you?"

"Darcy? What do you mean 'mind him'?

"I mean, mind the fact of him. That he ever was my lord and master...that we ever were...oh, my head is starting to get fuzzy...what was I saying?"

"I don't think he was your lord and master. I don't think anyone ever will be. You're too much your own woman! That's what I love about you..."

"Richard, shut up, will you! Dance with me!"

"Certainly, anything for my queen!" Elizabeth was too drunk to retaliate.

Elizabeth was not the only one who had had more than her share of champagne that evening. Just then Charles walked up to the couple.

"Charles Bing-ley, reporting for duty." he slurred.

"Bingley. We're leaving after this dance." he said, mostly to Elizabeth.

"You can't...can't do thatto me! Not to an old...old friend of William's...friend of old William's..."

"Wish old William were here!" said Elizabeth, transferring herself into Charles' arms.

"I'm going to get your coat." said Richard firmly, and left.

'Hello you!"

"Hello!"

"You look fine."

"I feel fine!"

"Good...what next? Oh, wait...what was I saying?" Elizabeth looked at him blankly. "I need another dring...or what was that ring...ding..."

"That's not what you were saying."

"It wasn't. Okay." and they resumed dancing. "Oh, wait! I know!" he stopped again. "Why do you wish William were here?"

"Well I used to be married to him! Did you know that?"

"To your cousin?"

"Huh?"

"Cousin William?"

"What about him?"

"I forget."

"Oh - like an elephant."

"Elfant...Mother! I thought you went home ages ago!" Mrs. Bennet walked up.

"Well, I should have, but I've just been having such a good time - James took Kitty home..."

"Everyone should have a good time!" Elizabeth flung out her arms and nearly hit Richard who had returned from the coatroom with Elizabeth's mink. "Come on, Bingley! You are thirsty and the night is young! Oh, Richard, we're just going to have another dri(hic)...drink." and she walked towards him, nearly falling into his arms.

"Not you, I'm afraid."

"Why should you be afraid? You know I never get affected by champagne."

"What she really wants is another dance with you, Richard." said Mrs. Bennet, trying to diffuse an argument.

"Well...I guess..." he held out his arms.

"Well, if it's going to be a chore for you!" she withdrew herself from his arms.

"Not for me!" and Charles held out his arms.

"No you don't, Bingley. You've already been too attentive as it is!" and Richard took Elizabeth back out to the dance floor.

Mrs. Bennet looked after them with a smile on her face. "The course of true love..."

"...gathers no moss!" finished Charles triumphantly. Mrs. Bennet looked at him oddly and then went back inside.

Charles wandered over to the bar without a thought in his head.

"I'd like a champagne..." he slurred. The bartender pulled out a new bottle and began to open it. "I'll just take the bottle - I'm going on a picnic!" He picked up a plastic cup and went out to where the cars were lined up. He got into The Bennet's car.

"James? Take meto...William Fitzgerald George Darcy's house." He stumbled over the words.

"Pemberley, sir?"

"Yeah, Pemberley...Bemberly...Kimberly!"

"Yes, sir."

Chapter 13

Posted on Friday, 26 January 2001

Pemberley - 4:30 am

"William F. G. Darcy! William DAAAAARRRRRCCCCYYYYY!!!!" Charles yelled drunkenly out of the car window as it rolled into the carport at Pemberley. "Okay, this is my stop. Whoo-Whoo!! All Aboard!" He got out of the car and stumbled up the front steps. "Now you hurry back (hic)...to the ball before Cinderella's pumpkin turns into a carriage and six white mice..." he slurred drunkenly. "William Darcy, come out here and face me like a man!" he called to the door. "William DAARRR..."

The door opened abruptly to reveal William standing there in his pajamas and dressing gown. "What's up?" he asked sleepily.

"You are!" Charles laughed at his own joke. "Darcy...I would like to talk to you!" Charles said.

"Well, you'd better come inside. Good bye, James," William waved off the chauffeur. "Thank you! Come in Bingley - we'll go into the parlor..." and he brought him inside.

"I come burring...bearing gifts! It's called champagne, and when you have some...it...it, oh yes! It makes you my e(hic)...equal!"

"Well, I wouldn't go quite that far..." William took the bottle from Charles

"Almost, anyway - William Fitzgerald George Darcy...I need to talk to you." They walked into the parlor and William set the bottle down on the table. Charles saw it and his eyes lit up.

"I say, Darce old sport, I wonder if I might borrow a drink?"

"Of course..." William answered amusedly and handed him the bottle of champagne. "Don't tell me the party is over so soon! Uncle Gardiner's parties usually last a lot longer..." he tried to make conversation. Bingley looked around the room, his eyes landed on the bookshelf. "Hmm...Paradise Lost, The Great Gatsby, The Sound and the Fury...What's that? My book? You have unsus...sunsuspec(hic)...unsuspected depth!"

"Well, I was trying to forget Liz...I read anything."

"Are you sill in love with her?"

"Pardon?"

"Are you still in love with Elizabeth? Jane thinks you are! Jane thinks you are...but women tend to roman...romanticize things..."

"Yes they do, don't they?"

"Yes they do don't they. But do you think they have an intuition about these things?"

"I don't know, do they?"

"Idon'tknowdothey..." Charles looked confused and William tried another tack.

"So, what did you want to talk about, not the selection on my bookshelf, I hope."

"No, I just had a scathingly brilliant idea! Wickham!"

"Oh, him again." William said, feigning interest.

"Nononono...he's holding a dirty story on Liz's dad, right?"

"Yes..." William was not quite sure where this was all going.

"And you're trying to keep him from publishing it by giving him a story on her wedding?"

"Yes..."

"That's how Jane and I were roped in - we all rode into this on a sticky blackmail! Well listen - I could tell you stuff about Wickham, make your hair stand on end!"

"Really?!" William was now interested.

"Oh, sure - I know all his dirty little secrets. Stuff that would ruin him if it ever got out! See what I'm saying!" Darcy nodded.

"Like, The Sarah Langley Medal for World Peace...or how he's always saying he's a Cambridge man...ever hear him tell you how he gave money to save that animal reserve in Africa? The real story on that gem would have him put away for life - would you believe his men were poaching on that land all the time! And then there was this time in Boston..."

"Wait a minute...you would let me use all this?"

"With my blessing!" Charles grinned. "I'm finished...I'm cooked anyway, I'm not going to write a story on this wedding," and then, with a sudden burst of inspiration: "I'll write one on Mr. George Wickham Esq.!" he grinned.

"Here let me do it...you just tell me everything and I'll write it down right here." William sat down at the desk and got out a pad of paper and a pen.

"The Time: 1938. The Place: Boston." Charles began dramatically. "Wickham had just arrived..."

5:00 am

"And none of his distinguished guests would ever have guessed that Wickham was, at that very moment, seducing..." Charles was cut off by the sound of a car rolling up to the front door.

"That's all right...I think we've got enough here." William yawned as he got up to answer the door.

"Are you sure? I've got loads more - so does Jane, she knows a lot too!"

William opened the door to find Jane Bennetton herself standing there.

"I've come for the body of Charles Bingley." she said in a dark voice, then laughed.

"In there..." William pointed. "Outlined in chalk!" he joked. "Say, can you use a typewriter?"

"No, I have one, thanks." Jane replied, confused. "Watch her for a sec, will you?" she indicated the car. William looked over and saw Elizabeth slumped against the seat.

"Oh." he said with a smile. "Where's eh...Fitzwilliam?"

"The 'People's Choice'? His bride dropped him off at the Guesthouse after a small explosion."

"They had a fight, eh?" William grinned.

"Fifteen rounds, no decision. Where's my prodigal souse?" she called wryly.

Darcy walked over to the car, got into the driver's seat, and leaned back next to her.

"Hello, Liam." Elizabeth said glumly.

"You look beautiful, Brown-Eyes. Why don't you come in?" he said soothingly

"Why?" she looked confused.

"Maybe a drink or something..."

"I don't drink," she said firmly.

"That's right, I forgot."

"Good thing I didn't forget."

"Good thing."

"One of us would be in trouble, maybe."

"One of us, definitely."

"Show Jane to a typewriter and stand back!" Charles burst out the door with Jane in tow.

"Can she do it?" William asked excitedly.

"She can and she will!" Charles exclaimed.

"Aren't you coming, Jane?" Elizabeth asked sleepily.

"Well, it seems I have to commit blackmail and submit my resignation first dear, you go on without me." And with that, Jane and William walked back into the house.

"Going my way?" Charles hopped over to the side of the car.

"Get in!" Elizabeth commanded. She scooted over into the driver's seat.

"Aye, aye, princess!"

"That's Ms. Princess to you!"

"Okay, Ms. Princess to me." And Elizabeth threw the car into gear.

Chapter 14

Posted on Saturday, 24 March 2001

Longbourn - 5:30 AM

"...He makes the company jump,
When he plays reveille,
He's the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B.

He was theeeeee Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B.
And when he played boogie woogie bugle he was busy as a bzzzzz bee,
And when he plays makes the company jump eight to the bar,
he's the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of company B
Doo doo doo doo-dee-yada, doo-dee-yada, doot doot, he blows it eight to the bar,
He can't play a note unless the bass and guitar are playin' with him.
Heh heh heh, The company jumps when he plays reveille,
He's the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B"

The radio played on the patio and Elizabeth and Charles boogied right along with the Andrews Sisters.

"...He's the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company Beeeeeeee!"

The song ended and Elizabeth collapsed on the grass in exhaustion.

"You shake a mean leg, Bingley!"

"It's this champagne stuff...I'm not used to it. Whiskey - that's my poison; it's like a kick in the head, but champagne's different...a heavy mist, before my eyes."

"Did you enjoy the party?" Elizabeth asked, as she got up, a little wobbly.

"I sure did - there isn't a prettier sight in this fine pretty world than the privileged class enjoying its privilege..."

"You're a snob!"

"No doubt!"

"But you know what?"

"No I don't know what."

"You're the worst kind of snob...an intellectual snob!" she spat out the word as if it had a bad taste.

"Hey now, careful! You might bruise me!"

"You need to be bruised!"

"I know." Charles looked confused.

Suddenly, the phone rang from inside the house.

"That's funny..." Elizabeth said dreamily. "I could have sworn I heard a bell ringing."

"I heard one a moment ago, but I think it's stopped. Listen." They listened. it rang again.

"There - a bell, but very far away. I'm sure it's trying to tell us something..." Elizabeth paused in her speech. "Oh well - it stopped. I tell you what," she said, taking off her bracelet and engagement ring and setting them on the table. "Let's go for a swim! Liam and I always swam after a party!"

"It's a wonder you didn(hic) didn't drown!"

"I am a very good swimmer!" Elizabeth defended herself.

"Oh. Let's have some champagne!" he replied as if suddenly inspired by the idea. He uncorked the bottle and poured two glasses.

They clinked their glasses together. "Hello, you!"

"Hello, you."

"You look fine!"

"I feel fine!"

"Did you enjoy the party?"

"Yes I...did we say this before? Maybe it was in a book once..."

"Your book?"

"Yes my boo...No! Not my book! Mine is a good book."

"No one would arg(hic) argue with that!" Elizabeth set her glass on the table and Charles plopped into a rolling lounge chair.

"Awash with champagne was General Thomas R. Bennet on the nuptial eve of his daughter, Elizabeth Samantha ...whee!" Charles began to get a little dizzy as Elizabeth had begun to roll him around the garden in the chair. "Elizabeth Samantha...stop that!"

"What did you call me?"

"Elizabeth Samantha..."

"That's not my middle name! My midd(hic)le name is Grace."

"Elizabeth, not Samantha but Grace, Bennet! Say, that's a pretty ordinary name for someone like you."

"I think you'd find out a lot about me that's normal and ordinary if you bothered to look!" she said haughtily. "What was that you were saying just now about being awash...is that for your book?"

"For my boo...no, it's not for my book. Lizzy," he addressed her, suddenly changing the subject. "You can't marry that guy. He's an overgrown, over dressed, self-absorbed...Rhett Butler!"

"Who, Richard? Well I'm going to. You just come around here tomorrow and watch me! Snob."

"Whaddaya mean, 'Snob'?!"

"You're a snob! You made up your mind too early in life! You give your opinions very decidedly for so young a person! Oh! Now I sound like Aunt Catherine!"

"Well, 30's about time to make up your mind, isn't it?"

"The time to make up your mind about people is never! You see, you're very polite and kind, but you are not very forgiving or tolerant, and you'll never be a fist class writer or even a first class human being until you have some compassion for human frail..." she trailed off, remembering her father's words of that afternoon. "Aren't the begonias pretty?" she asked coquettishly.

"You're one in a million, Lizzy."

"You think so, Herr Doctor? Well I don't! I know just a million girls just like me...you don't get out much do you?"

"What, in the upper class? No thank you, not me, not Charles F. Bingley!"

"There you go judging us again, Herr Doctor. You're just a mass of prejudices, aren't you, Herr Doctor?"

"Oh, I am, am I?"

"Yes you are, are you."

"Now, just a minute..."

"I read your book, don't forget! It's just chock full of prejudiced anecdotes and...well, I don't know, but something - and it's not good! It's not good at all, Herr Doctor!"

"Quit that 'Doctor' stuff. You're just full of the arrogance of your class, aren't you?"

"What does class have to do with it? What are classes if not for the people in them? Richard comes from the quote 'lower class', Liam from the upper class...but Richard is a prince among men and Liam is a stuffed shirt...!"

"Was." Charles corrected.

"...Whatever. I'll take a man from wherever he comes from as long as he's a good man and fair man..."

"As long as you can keep your townhouses and family jewels..." Charles muttered.

"What was that?!"

"My mistake." he waved it off.

"I resent the implications of..."

"I'm sorry." he said under his breath.

"Don't apologize!"

"I'm not apologizing!"

"Talk about arrogance! You're intolerance infuriates me!! I should think that above all a writer would need tolerance! I've never met a man like you!"

"No, you wouldn't, Sweetheart, not from where you look down!"

"Ooooh! You make me insane!"

"You're amazing!" he smiled at her.

"I'm...what?"

"You have more conviction and passion in that one little statement than I have in my whole life! You know what you want and you go after it, I could never decide on anything for myself. You have a fire inside of you that lights up your whole being and it comes out whenever you talk or dance or laugh! You're lit from within, Elizabeth! William told me, and I didn't believe him, but now..."

"I...I don't seem made of glass to you?" Elizabeth asked quietly. "I don't seem fragile and impassive, do I? Do I, Charles?" She had tears in her eyes.

"No! That's the great wonder of you! You're made of flesh and blood. You're just as fallible as the rest of us, but that's part of your magnificence. You know you are and you can laugh at all your missteps!" he swooped her up into his arms and held her close. "What goes on with you? You're crying!"

"Oh, Charles shut up, shut up! Oh, keep talking, keep talking, talk, will you?"

"How about this instead?" and before she knew what was going on, he kissed her. They stood there for a brief moment and then parted. Then they kissed again.

"What just happened?" Elizabeth asked when they'd stopped.

"It couldn't be anything like love, could it?"

"No! It can't be!"

"Would it be inconvenient?"

"Terribly! Besides, I know it isn't. It's half champagne and half moonlight and half consolation...my feet are made of clay!"

"I'm going to put you in my pocket!"

"Let's go for a swim, it would be lovely!

And they ran off towards the pool.

Chapter 15

Posted on Thursday, 31 May 2001

Longbourn - 9:00 the next morning

The sun had made its presence in the sky long before anyone was up and about at Longbourn. In fact, you would hardly have known that a wedding was to take place there in just a few short hours. The first noise of human movement was of a car coming up the driveway. William stopped the car under the carport and walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. Nothing.

"Jane..." he shook her gently to wake her up.

"Wha...? Where am I?" she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Longbourn...do you have the essay?"

"Sure, it's right here." she yawned and pulled the papers out of her purse. She was still wearing her gown from the party and her small matching handbag barely fit the twenty or so pages of blackmail it had taken William and herself all night to finish. She held it in her hand, studying it carefully. William noticed her wistful look.

"You know, I don't really have to give it to Wickham, it's not too late to rip it up." he said cautiously, walking her in to the house.

"No, that's true." She heaved a sigh and handed it to him. "But now that it's written, I'd never forgive myself if I didn't use it. That man is the scum of the earth - he deserves what's coming to him."

"Do you think you and Charles will be able to find another place to work soon?"

"Well, we hope so...nothing's definite" she trailed off. "But Charles' only chance to become a really great writer is to get sacked."

"You have a heart of gold, Jane." William smiled appreciatively.

"Oh, I just photograph well..." she said modestly as she started up the stairs.

"So..." William crossed his arms on the railing. "Why don't you marry him?"

Jane turned around to face him. She came back down the stairs.

"Charles? You really want to know?" William nodded his head. "He's still got some stuff to figure out...I don't want to get in his way for awhile. Okay?"

"Okay." and she started back up the stairs. "Oh but that's pretty risky..." William continued. "What would you do if another girl came along and snatched him up?"

"Oh I don't know...I guess I'd challenge her to a duel, or something..." she laughed ruefully. "Unless, of course, she was marrying somebody else the next day." she finished. William gave her a knowing look. and she went upstairs to get some rest before the ceremony.

William turned around and wandered off the other direction. He thought for a fleeting moment that it was wrong for him to be at that particular place at that particular time, but then he reflected that it might serve his purposes well so instead of going back outside to his car he went out onto the back porch to see if anyone else was up. Looking out across the lawn he saw none other than Richard Fitzwilliam walking over from the guesthouse. William tried to go back through the French doors and into the house before Richard spied him, but it was too late.

"Hey!" Richard ran over to intercept him.

"Cheerio, Fitzwilliam. Top o' the morning and all that." Darcy greeted him with a smile.

"What are you doing here? You know, old sport, this isn't exactly the best place for you to be."

"I'm a friend of the family. I just stopped by for a little chat."

"Don't try and be cute. I asked you a question, Darcy."

"And I answered you. You know I might ask you the same question. You don't live here...yet."

"Oh - Liz and I aren't going to live here, the whole place is...well, it's too big for me, and I'd just as soon go back to Charleston...Wait a minute! You're getting me off track. I called Liz and her phone didn't answer. I was worried so I walked over to make sure everything was all right."

"I was worried too...what do you think about this fellow Bingley, or do you?"

"Well, you brought him here...wait a minute, I don't like what you're insinuating!"

"I'm not insinuating anything, only..." William trailed off. His eye had caught something on the patio table. It was Elizabeth's jewelry; a diamond tennis bracelet and her engagement ring.

"What?" Richard asked impatiently. The object of his companion's attention had escaped his notice.

"Nothing, but I think you should go home now..." William said quickly, looking off in the distance. "I...don't you know it's bad luck to see your future bride on the day of the wedding?"

"Now just a minute!" Richard flustered. "I'm staying right here until you explain something to me..."

"What? I say, you'll have to hurry. Somehow, I don't think you'll understand...Fitzwilliam, I'd advise you to go to bed!"

"I don't want your advice! How..." Richard stopped abruptly when he heard a voice off in the distance. It sounded like someone singing.

"Down by the Old (not the new but the old) Mill Stream (not the river but the stream),
Where I first (not the second but the first) met you (not me but you),
With your eyes (not the ears but the eyes) of blue (not red but blue),
Dressed in ging- (not bing but ging) ham too (not one but two),"

Richard looked towards the voice and William, in one swift move, deftly swept the jewelry off the table and into his jacket pocket.

"It was there (not here but there) I knew (not know but knew),
That you loved (not liked but loved) me true (not false but true),
You were sixteen (not seventeen),
My village queen (not king),
Down by the old mill ...*"

A rather inebriated Charles Bingley, dressed in a terrycloth bathrobe, came around the corner of the house carrying a just as inebriated Elizabeth Bennet, dressed in a towel. He stopped singing when he saw Richard and William standing there; the former with his mouth set in a grim line and his eyes flaring and the latter trying desperately to hold in a considerable amount of laughter.

"Uh-oh..."

"Don't stop..." Elizabeth drawled. "Don't stop, Charles. Keep crooning."

Charles cleared his throat and continued with his song.

"Bingley! What is the meaning of this?!" Richard spat, his eyes wide as saucers.

"She isn't hurt, is she?" William asked, concerned.

"Oh, no...I think the minute she hit the water, the champagne hit her!" Charles drawled.

"Not wounded, sire, but drunk!" Elizabeth saluted, then collapsed back into Charles' arms.

"A likely story!" William stepped forward.

"A wha...?" Charles looked confused. For a moment there he thought that William might come after him.

"I said a likely story!" William menaced.

"Hallo, Liam." Elizabeth said brightly. "Hullo, Richard." she said darkly. "Helloo, Charles!" she giggled.

Charles moved to go past them and into the house.

"Liz's room is the second door on the right at the top of the stairs." William supplied. "And mind you don't wake Kitty!" he added as an afterthought. Charles disappeared into the house with Elizabeth cooing "Goodnight Ladies"

"How are the mighty fallen..." William murmured. "If I know Liz and I know her well, she won't remember any part of this episode. I..."

"Humph!" Richard said gruffly.

"You don't believe it, do you?"

"Believe what?"

"The ah...implications of what you saw, let us say."

"Oh what am I supposed to believe?" Richard grumbled. "I've got eyes, haven't I? I've got imagination." He began to pace back and forth.

"I don't know, have you?"

"Oh! So you're going to just sit there and pretend you don't believe what you just saw walk past us!?"

"Yes, that's it." he said quietly.

"You! You're all alike, your whole stinking class! All covering up for each other so that none of you will ever have to fall!!"

"Isn't it terrible?" William murmured.

Charles returned from depositing Elizabeth in her bedroom and stood in the doorway.

"You!" Richard exploded. He moved towards Charles as if to hit him, but William got there first, sending a left hook that knocked Charles to the ground.

"Hey! What right have you got to...?" Richard yelled.

"I'm the closest thing Liz has to a husband until noon today!" and with that, Richard stomped off. As soon as he was out of sight of the patio, William knelt down to see if Charles was all right.

"Say, why did you...?" Charles asked, a bit confused.

"I figured I had better, or he would have, and he's in a great deal better shape than I am."

"Well you'll do!" Charles glared at William, nursing his jaw.

There was a slight rustle of leaves as someone closed a second story window. Neither of the men on the patio noticed it, but inside her room, Kitty Bennet pondered everything she had just seen.

---