Seeds of doubt

Part 1

The farewell between herself and Mr. Wickham was perfectly friendly; on his side even more... in his manner of bidding her adieu, wishing her every enjoyment, reminding her of what she was to expect in Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and trusting their opinion of her -- their opinion of every body -- would always coincide, there was a solicitude, an interest which she felt must ever attach her to him with a most sincere regard; and she parted from him convinced that, whether married or single, he must always be her model of the amiable and pleasing. Pride & Prejudice, Chapter IV of Volume II

The visit at Huntsford had been progressing more pleasurably than Elizabeth had envisioned. The enjoyment afforded by Charlottes company and the beauty of the burgeoning spring could not be denied. It even outweighed the odiousness of Mr Collins' company and Lady Catherine's officious interest in everything. A slight alteration to the parsonage's small social circle was anticipated within the next few days as Lady Catherine expected a visit, in her opinion long overdue, from a nephew and niece. The niece hardly received a mention from the great lady though - she was too busy holding forth on the attributes of the young man, a certain Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy.

The Lady had been half way through a long lecture on the privilege the young women were to be afforded by their introduction into his society, when an interruption by Mr Collins informed his patroness of their previous association with Mr Darcy.

Mr Collins quickly regretted his information, as it became quite clear that that Lady Catherine was rather put out at the loss of her power of introduction. Elizabeth watched with wry amusement as her cousin tried to back away from his statement and down play the contact that had existed between the ladies and Mr Darcy, but instead succeeded only in increasing Lady Catherine's disapproval.

Elizabeth's eyes wandered to Anne to see of the mention of Mr Darcy had the power to bring more animation to her features, or indeed any animation at all, but Anne appeared to be as disinterested in this conversation as she was in any other.

Regardless of Lady Catherine's excitement on the subject, the anticipated arrival of the Darcys gave Lizzy no expectation of increased pleasure. She already knew Mr Darcy to be an arrogant and unpleasant man, and Wickham had advised her that she'd find Miss Darcy was cut from the same cloth.

The actual event however, did afford an agreeable change, as the Darcy's had brought with them a cousin, one Colonel Fitzwilliam,  and despite his being related to both the de Bourghs and the Darcys, he proved to be a true gentleman, full of ease and well-informed conversation.

Elizabeth liked him from the first, when both he and Mr Darcy had visited the parsonage on the day of their arrival, and her pleasure in his company grew as she began to gain insight into his intelligence and character on his, not infrequent, visits to the parsonage over the following week.

Mr Darcy had been only seen at church, but he had condescended to introduce his sister to Elizabeth and Charlotte. She found her just as she expected. Though out of sheer courtesy, Elizabeth had tried to initiate some form of light conversation, she'd found it difficult to obtain a word from Miss Darcy above a monosyllable. The Bingley sisters may well have raved about this young lady's superior accomplishments, however Lizzy couldn't help but think that the simple addition of basic politeness would have given great enhancement to her achievements.

"I was a little taken aback to find Miss Darcy so shy," was Charlottes comment to Elizabeth later that day. "I would have thought that with her wealth and consequence that she'd have more self assurance."

"Did you say shy?" Elizabeth exclaimed. "I would say that 'aloof' would be a far more appropriate term. She thought herself too far above our company to be bothered with even exchanging light pleasantries."

"You surprise me Lizzy!" Charlotte answered with a slight note of disapproval in her voice. "I had far more respect for your powers of discernment than that. I don't really understand your determination to dislike the Darcy family so much."

Elizabeth was momentarily disconcerted by Charlotte's words, but very little reflection assured her that her assessment of Miss Darcy must be correct. Hadn't Wickham himself, an intimate of the family for so many years, told her of the young lady's pride. If his insights on the Darcys were not to be given credence, whose could be?

Charlotte's gentle words however played on her mind a little throughout the afternoon, and she had to continue to suppress little pangs of conscience that she felt at the possibility she may have been harsh in her judgement of the girl; after all she was only sixteen. When the matter again crossed her mind, as she dressed for their engagement at Rosings that evening, Elizabeth decided that in all fairness she would leave room for the possibility that it was the negative interference on the part of Miss Darcy's brother that had created the distance between Miss Darcy and Wickham. It was quite plausible that a young and inexperienced girl could be led astray by the strong dislike that Darcy obviously held toward Wickham.

Feeling happier with this more charitable theory, which clearly laid the blame for Miss Darcy's deficiency at the feet of her older sibling, Elizabeth determined to continue to be polite in her dealings with younger lady, and at least give her the benefit of the doubt.

Apart from a short exchange on her arrival however, Elizabeth realised it would be outside her reach to give more attention to Miss Darcy, as they were seated in separate parts of the room. Instead Elizabeth found herself in the company of Colonel Fitzwilliam and was left with very little attention for anyone or anything else in the room as she relaxed to enjoy his conversation and opinions. She did not agree with his taste or ideas on everything, but this only made their exchange much more dynamic and interesting. The pleasure of his company however, was cut short by Lady Catherine.

``What is that you are saying, Fitzwilliam? What is it you are talking of? What are you telling Miss Bennet? Let me hear what it is.''

``We are speaking of music, Madam,'' said he, when no longer able to avoid a reply.

``Of music! Then pray speak aloud. It is of all subjects my delight. I must have my share in the conversation, if you are speaking of music. There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more true enjoyment of music than myself, or a better natural taste. If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient. And so would Anne, if her health had allowed her to apply. I am confident that she would have performed delightfully, and how do you get on Georgiana?"

Elizabeth looked across at the young girl who seemed mortified at having the focus of every one in the room moved to her. She stammered a reply that it was difficult to catch the sense of, before Darcy intervened and spoke with affectionate praise of his sister's proficiency.

``I am very glad to hear such a good account of you,'' said Lady Catherine; ``just remember that you cannot expect to excel, if you do not practise a great deal.''

Miss Darcy looked confused as to how she should answer her forbidding Aunt and she again looked to her brother for assistance.

``I assure you, Madam,'' he spoke on her behalf, ``that she does not need such advice. She practises very constantly.''

``So much the better. It cannot be done too much, and I charge you not to neglect it on any account. I often tell young ladies, that no excellence in music is to be acquired, without constant practice. I have told Miss Bennet several times, that she will never play really well, unless she practises more; and though Mrs. Collins has no instrument, she is very welcome, as I have often told her, to come to Rosings every day, and play on the piano forte in Mrs. Jenkinson's room. She would be in nobody's way, you know, in that part of the house.''

Mr. and Miss Darcy looked a little ashamed of their aunt's ill breeding, and made no answer. More over Miss Darcy was extremely concerned for Miss Bennet, believing that she must be feeling as humiliated as she would herself, in the same situation.

Elizabeth however, was not at all concerned by Lady Catherine's opinions or advice. She was concerned for Miss Darcy though, as it was obvious that the whole exchange had thoroughly discomforted her.

"Miss Darcy, I've often heard your playing spoken of with high praise," Elizabeth said, hoping to end the awkward silence that had settled on the room before Lady Catherine could take up her lecturing again. "Colonel Fitzwilliam has asked if I will play for him a little later and I was wondering if you might go through some of the music with me to help me choose some pieces."

Miss Darcy looked shyly pleased with the idea, not only was it a compliment to her, but it would also remove her to the other end of the room, away from her aunt's questioning and notice.

She quietly accepted Elizabeth's proposal.

As Elizabeth stood to move toward the instrument, she could not resist the urge to glance at Darcy, half expecting to see some sort of concern over whether Elizabeth's company was strictly appropriate for his precious sister.

Darcy caught her eye as she looked across, but there was no gravity or worry in his countenance, instead he gave her a smile that held warmth and gratitude, leaving Elizabeth completely taken aback - until she recalled that even Wickham had given him credit as a brother.



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Part 2

Although Miss Darcy was hesitant to begin with, Elizabeth's easy manners began to work to make her a mite more at ease. With the bond of music as a point of commonality Elizabeth was able to draw her out a little more, and was beginning to like what he saw.

Under her extreme reserve Miss Darcy showed definite signs of good taste, good sense, and humour, and though not confident enough with Elizabeth yet to venture far with her own opinions, she listened to Elizabeth with a restrained amusement and pleasure.

Though Darcy sat in 'conversation' with his Aunt, very little of his attention was on Lady Catherine herself. Fortunately the great woman never really required much from her company than the occasional compliment and deference to her opinion, and as Mr Collins was part of the circle that was more than adequately supplied.

His eyes were more often than not, turned toward the pianoforte where he was pleased to see Georgiana actually engaged in conversation with Elizabeth. He could not see their countenances from where he sat, but he could tell by her posture that his little sister was beginning to relax just a little. He'd begun to feel that he'd made a mistake in bringing Georgie to Rosings this year. She seemed more intimidated by her aunt than ever, and was finding little companionship in Anne. On top of which, since the incident in Ramsgate, she seemed to be unableable to fully overcome her embarrassment in front of her brother and cousin, leaving Darcy to despair of her ever fully being able to leave that experience behind her. It was so good to see her looking a little more comfortable.

Darcy was brought out of his revere by his sister's soft laugh from the end of the room, and he registered it with astonishment. It was a sound that he'd not heard for months on end and it brought with it such a sense of relief that it was almost overwhelming.

Colonel Fizwilliam had also noticed Georgiana's laugh and looked across at Darcy with a grin. He too had been concerned at the deepening of her introversion and insecurity since the affair with Wickham.

"Should we join the party?" he asked, before moving across to seat himself at Elizabeth's side.

Darcy remained where he was for a while, thinking of Elizabeth. His emotions had been very ambivalent on hearing that Elizabeth was visiting the parsonage. It had taken him some months after leaving Hertfordshire to really purge his mind of thoughts of her. She attracted him more than he liked, but he could not, and would not, forget the inferiority of her connections. He had somehow been unable to help himself visiting on their first day at Kent, and within minutes he again felt the danger of being too much in her company.

He hated how she effected his self-control. He did not want to like her so much, but every time he was with Elizabeth he was more drawn to her. Although he had deliberately avoided seeing her all week, his thoughts had never been far from her. He had steeled himself to be indifferent to her this evening, but it had all been to no avail. He'd had to repress pangs of jealousy upon seeing her obvious enjoyment in his cousins company, and her attentions to his sister had given his feelings an increase that he was not at all happy with.

He looked across again as Elizabeth started playing. Lady Catherine listened to half a song, and then talked, as before, to Darcy; till the latter walked away from her, and moving with his usual deliberation towards the piano forte, stationed himself so as to command a full view of the fair performer's countenance. If he was going to be obsessed with her regardless of his intentions, he might as well enjoy her company as not. Elizabeth saw what he was doing, and at the first convenient pause, turned to him with an arch smile, and said,

``You mean to frighten me, Mr. Darcy, by coming in all this state to hear me? But I will not be alarmed although my playing may not come up to the standards Miss Darcy's does. There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me.''

``I shall not say that you are mistaken,'' he replied, ``because you could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know, that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own.''

Elizabeth laughed heartily at this picture of herself, and said to Colonel Fitzwilliam, ``Your cousin will give you a very pretty notion of me, and teach you not to believe a word I say. I am particularly unlucky in meeting with a person so well able to expose my real character, in a part of the world where I had hoped to pass myself off with some degree of credit. Indeed, Mr. Darcy, it is very ungenerous in you to mention all that you knew to my disadvantage in Hertfordshire -- and, give me leave to say, very impolitic too -- for it is provoking me to retaliate, and such things may come out, as will shock your relations to hear.''

``I am not afraid of you,'' said he, smilingly.

``Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,'' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. ``I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.''

``You shall hear then -- but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball -- and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances! I am sorry to pain you -- but so it was. He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr. Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.''

``I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.''

``True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball room.''

``Perhaps,'' said Darcy, ``I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction, but I am ill qualified to recommend myself to strangers.''

``Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?'' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. ``Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill qualified to recommend himself to strangers?''

``I can answer your question,'' said Fitzwilliam, ``without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.''

``I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,'' said Darcy, ``of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.''

``My fingers,'' said Elizabeth, ``do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women's do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault -- because I would not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman's of superior execution.''

Darcy smiled, and said, ``You are perfectly right. You have employed your time much better. No one admitted to the privilege of hearing you, can think any thing wanting. We neither of us perform to strangers.''

It was then that Elizabeth noticed a look half way between confusion and concern on Miss Darcy's face. She had listened to the exchange with astonishment bordering on alarm. She had never before seen her brother the object of open pleasantry. Elizabeth's lively and sportive manner moreover, did not seem to have offended him at all. Georgiana didn't quite know what to make of it.

Elizabeth, sensing the nature of Georgiana's feelings, and not wanting to lose the ground she had earlier made in penetrating her reserve, decided it was time to change the subject.

"Miss Darcy, I would truly be grateful if you would now favour us with a song, I'd love to hear you play."

Elizabeth's request was delivered with a natural sincerity that made it hard for Georgiana to refuse. She looked up at brother who smiled his encouragement. Elizabeth moved from her seat at the instrument and Georgiana only hesitated a little before taking her place, although nervousness was clearly written on her features. She always found it threatening to have attention focussed on herself.

As she began to perform though, she forgot her fears as she lost herself in the music. Mr Darcy had been right about his sister's talent; her performance was a delight. Elizabeth listened with rapt attention, totally enchanted with the young girls interpretation of the music.

Upon finishing Georgiana was a little embarrassed, but also pleased by the warm and appropriate praised she received by the three that were primarily her audience.

Lady Catherine however, entered the conversation with her usual lack of tact and discernment. "That was a pretty piece Georgiana. You have quite a good taste, mind you I don't think that your taste is quite equal to Anne's. Anne would have been a delightful performer, had her health allowed her to learn.''

She then continued her remarks on her performance, mixing with them many instructions on execution and taste, ignoring both her nephew's and Elizabeth's attempts to turn the conversation.

Elizabeth soon took Georgiana's place at the instrument as she could receive Lady Catherine's remarks with an indifference and all the forbearance of civility. As Georgiana could no longer be prevailed upon to return to the instrument, Elizabeth remained at the piano till her ladyship's carriage was ready to take them all home.

Upon rising to leave Elizabeth found herself wondering how an insecure girl like Georgiana was to survive a prolonged visit with her Aunt, and acted upon a protective impulse that had been developing over the evening. She certainly needed her time with Lady Catherine reduced or at least diluted.

"Miss Darcy, it's been such beautiful weather that I have been often taking the opportunity to walk out and enjoy some of the lovely grounds here about. I was wondering if you would like to join me on my ramble tomorrow. Some of the walks about here are truly delightful."

Georgiana's face brightened at the prospect, and she looked to her brother to see what he thought of the idea.

"That sounds like a lovely idea Georgie. You've been shut up inside far too much of late." He then turned to Elizabeth and smiled. "Thank you for including Georgiana in your plans."

"It's my pleasure. I look forward to her company," Elizabeth replied, a little disconcerted by his smile. She had seen it directed at her too many times this evening and was having a little trouble reconciling this Mr Darcy with the one she had known at Hertfordshire, and found herself having to remind herself of the type of man he really was.



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Part 3

The next morning Elizabeth made her way across to Rosings to meet Georgiana at the pre-arranged time. As she walked her mind was on Miss Darcy, and on how she had managed to let a prejudice formed months earlier blind her to the young girl's true nature. It was a little humbling to Elizabeth, who generally had pride in her discernment, to acknowledge that she had been so wrong and so ungenerous in her thoughts.

"Well, I intend to make amends now," she sighed to herself as she arrived at the great house.

Miss Darcy was prepared and waiting, but it took the girls a full 20 minutes to get away from the Aunt's instructions as to how they should pace themselves, where they should walk to, what they should see, and even how they should react to it!

Elizabeth had no doubt that their 'briefing' would have gone on for much longer had not Mr Collins arrived and distracted Lady Catherine for a moment. It was one of those rare occasions that her cousin's presence turned out to be a blessing.

After the difficulty in making their escape from the house, the joy of being outdoors and away from the notice of Lady Catherine was intensified, and Elizabeth was rather amused when Georgiana let out an audible sigh of relief on turning a corner and taking a path that led away from Rosings.

The girls only talked a little at first. These exchanges were usually initiated by Elizabeth and were of a general nature. They talked of the weather, the gardens, the view and, as they had on the preceding evening, they spoke of music.

It was the discussion of music that again seemed to help Miss Darcy forget her self-consciousness a little, and allowed Elizabeth to draw out more of the girl's feelings and opinions as the morning wore on.

After about 50 minutes rambling at a slow pace they sat themselves down on a bench in a small grove of trees to rest a little, and Miss Darcy expressed her thanks to Elizabeth for the invitation to join her.

"It's particularly nice of you considering that it's probably not your first wish to have a girl five years your junior as a companion."

Georgiana was surprised as Elizabeth just laughed at the notion.

"I think that you'll find only four years difference in age Miss Darcy," she smiled. "I am not yet one and twenty, but as for disparity in ages, aside from my eldest sister Jane, Charlotte has been my closest friend for many years and she is seven years my senior."

"So you do not find my company too much of a chore?"

"On the contrary," Elizabeth reassured her. "I'm finding it a pleasure and can't imagine why you'd think otherwise. Good taste and intelligent opinions are always desirable qualities in a companion."

Georgiana blushed at the compliment and looked out at the distance.

"I feared you might have only asked me as a favour to my brother."

Elizabeth was aghast, not only at the idea that she would ever willingly bestow a favour on Mr Darcy, but at Georgiana's extreme tendency to think so lowly of herself.

"Your brother has asked no favours of me Miss Darcy," Elizabeth answered carefully, sensing the risk that Georgiana had taken in sharing her fear. "I hope I'm not overstepping the bounds of our acquaintance here, but it concerns me that you would undervalue yourself so. I was not just being polite when I said I was enjoying our morning together. I truly think that you should be less suspicious of your own attractions."

Elizabeth thought she could read some relief in the features of her new young friend, but she could also see that she was embarrassed at having exposed her insecurities in such a way. Her decision though, about whether or not she should pursue the matter further, was taken from her as both girls were distracted by the sounds of hoof beats approaching at a rather fast rate. Before either of them could fully register what was going on, two horses thundered past them at alarming speed.

Darcy, who was riding the stallion that was slightly in the lead, somehow managed to espy the girls on his way past them. He drew in his steed and began to walk it back to where his sister and her fair companion were seated.It was a few moments before Colonel Fitzwilliam registered that he was now riding on his own and also reigned in his mount.

Elizabeth watched as the two men approached, and couldn't help but notice how well they looked atop their horses. She was a little disconcerted to have to acknowledge that though Col Fitzwilliam looked remarkably fine, Mr Darcy looked even better. The wild ride had put an exhilaration in his eyes, and given his appearance a slightly dishevelled look which, she actually thought, became him very well.

She continued to watch as he swung himself down with an easy grace. If she had not been quite so preoccupied herself she may have noticed Georgiana watching Colonel Fitzwilliam with a more open admiration.

"Good day ladies," Colonel Fitzwilliam typically was the first to speak as the girls stood up to greet them. "Have you been enjoying your walk on this glorious morning?"

Georgiana smiled and answered in the affirmative, giving Elizabeth time to bring her mind back from whence it had wandered.

"I must say I was surprised to see you and Mr Darcy turn back," Elizabeth smiled at the Colonel. "The way in which you were riding made me think that you must have been on some very urgent business, a matter of major importance to the country at least...  or I alternatively thought you may have had a battalion of the French Army at your heels."

Georgiana laughed at this.

"Well, I'm not at all surprised by their riding in such a manner. They sometimes become childishly competitive in each others company."

The men looked at Georgiana almost in shock. While Georgiana her self seemed to be in more shock at actually having spoken those words aloud.

"What have you done to my sister, Miss Bennet?" Darcy laughed, "I've never heard her say such things, mind you, I've often suspected she may be thinking them."

Georgiana seemed to relax at the realisation that neither her brother nor cousin had taken offence at her words.

"You know Georgie, I think that I was about to overtake him at any moment," the Colonel smiled conspiratorially at his young cousin. "He just pulled up so as to take away my opportunity of winning."

"I won't dignify that with an answer Fitzwilliam," Darcy replied, "as I know that my younger sister is far too wise to be led astray by guileful whisperings..."

Darcy abruptly stopped as he noticed Georgiana's face suddenly drain of colour, and he could have kicked himself for his last ill-conceived statement. In his pleasure at seeing his sister more at ease, he had forgotten to vet his conversation of anything that could have over-tones of the Wickham fiasco.

Elizabeth, who had been enjoying watching the exchange, could not understand what had just happened. One moment everything was light and easy, and the next it was as though an overlying darkness had descended upon her three companions. Colonel Fitzwilliam seemed the first to recover, and he moved toward his younger cousin and took her arm.

"It looks like you may have had a little to much sun Georgie," he said has he led her toward the bench again and sat her beside him, talking to her now in soft tones that Elizabeth could not quite distinguish.

She turned to Mr Darcy who was looking somewhere between dangerously angry, and frustrated with himself. Elizabeth felt  all the awkwardness of being witness to something clearly of  a private nature, and she immediately felt the outsider. Having not a clue as to what was actually going on, Elizabeth could only desire to make herself as unintrusive as possible, and maybe be of some little use.

"Sir," she addressed Mr Darcy. "Would it be of some aid if I walked back to Rosings and asked for the phaeton to be sent to collect Miss Darcy?"

It seemed as though it took a few moments for him to register that she was speaking to him.

"No... no... thank you for the thought, but I'm sure she'll be alright to walk back in a moment. I think she'll be happier if our Aunt doesn't learn of this, she sometimes becomes a little overwhelmed with her attentions."

Elizabeth could easily imagine the fuss that Lady Catherine could make over such an incident, and silently agreed with Darcy that almost anything would be preferable to alerting the aunt to Georgiana's indisposition.

The Colonel looked up to his cousin and, as if a silent message had been sent, Darcy moved over to take his place by his sister and Colonel Fitzwilliam walked across to join Elizabeth.

"Have you been enjoying you morning's walk?" he asked, making it quite clear to Elizabeth that he'd rather not talk of the reason for Georgiana's sudden affliction.

"Yes, we've appreciated the beauty, and also the opportunity to get to know each other a little better. She's a lovely girl, well worth the effort to get to know," Elizabeth replied, quite happy to speak of other things. "I must say that after having the acquaintance of her brother for some months now, I expected to find her very different than she is."

"Oh, you'd be very surprised. There are more similarities between them than you'd expect."

Elizabeth did not want to agree with The Colonel on this, but it crossed her mind that Wickham had said much the same thing. "But she is too much like her brother..." She could see his countenance as he said it, and hear his voice, "...very, very proud."

No, she totally rejected the thought. Despite her first impression, all it had taken was a few minutes of unprejudiced observation to convince her that she was only exceedingly shy. Elizabeth still felt contrite at how much she'd let her pre-conceived notions colour her initial assessment of Miss Darcy.

"You are right Colonel Fitzwilliam. Such a notion does surprise me. I see very little that is the same in them, but I suppose that her brother cannot have had sole guardianship for these years, without influence.

``He doesn't have sole care'' said Colonel Fitzwilliam, ``that is an advantage which he must divide with me. I am joined with him in the guardianship of Miss Darcy.''

``Are you, indeed? I must say that you are lucky in your charge. Young ladies of her age are sometimes a little difficult to manage, and if she had a greater share of the same spirit as Mr Darcy, she may have been more inclined to her own way.''

Elizabeth could not help but notice that Colonel Fitzwilliam looked a little discomforted at this observation, but before he could reply they were joined by the Darcys, Georgiana still looking a little pale, but much recovered.

Elizabeth immediately enquired as to how she was feeling.

"I am well Miss Bennet. I'm sorry to have worried you."

"I am just pleased to hear that you are feeling recovered. I would hate to think that my dragging you about the country had a detrimental effect on your health."

"Oh no!" Miss Darcy protested. "I'm sure that I feel much better for the exercise."

The Colonel and Darcy had drawn aside and were talking between each other.

Mr Darcy soon returned to the girls, but the Colonel walked away to where the horses had moved off grazing.

"I hope you don't mind, but I've taken the liberty of sending my horse back with Colonel Fitzwilliam so that I can escort you home safely."

"William, I'm fine..." Georgiana began to protest.

"I know Georgie, but would you mind humouring me a little for my peace of mind?" Darcy asked gently.

Elizabeth, though accepting the wisdom of one of the men escorting Miss Darcy home, wished that it could have been Colonel Fitzwilliam rather than Mr Darcy. Under normal circumstances she would have been very tempted to simply excuse herself from his company and return home alone; or at the very least, walk quickly to be rid of his company sooner. Georgiana's presence though, made these options unacceptable, and she resigned herself to being in Mr Darcy's company for the next half-hour at least.


Part 4


They turned toward the house with Darcy lending Georgiana the support of his arm. It was not purely out of politeness that he offered his disengaged arm to Elizabeth, but he found his offer refused as she protested that she was not at all fatigued.

It was an annoyance to Elizabeth when Darcy was polite, as it disturbed the perverse kind of pleasure she found in her dislike of him. Witnessing his kind attentions to his sister diluted the enjoyment that her ill opinion of him gave her, and receiving his civility toward herself lessened it further. In so many ways she would have preferred his aloof and withdrawn manners of Hertfordshire, because at least they were consistent with his true character.

The three said very little as they began walking back, and this presented a strong contrast to the light interplay that had been going on only a few minutes before. Elizabeth was at a loss to explain exactly what had happened to change the mood so completely. She would have been happy to have credited the blame for any awkwardness to the account of Mr Darcy. Indeed, his own reaction almost indicated that he felt himself responsible for Miss Darcy's sudden discomposure, but try as she might she could not find anything remotely offensive or critical in his words. What was it that he'd said again? ...something about her not easily being led astray... she couldn't remember his words exactly.

She ran her mind through the circumstances once more, but rather than making her any wiser she only found more to confuse. If she were not mistaken, Colonel Fitzwilliam had been discomforted by her throwaway comment on the manageability of girls Miss Darcy's age... Was it remotely possible that there had been some difficulty involving Miss Darcy in the past?

No, Elizabeth strongly doubted it. It crossed her mind however, that were she able to talk with Wickham he might be able to throw some light on the subject, but then again, his understanding seemed less than perfect when it came to Miss Darcy.

It occurred to Elizabeth that the prolonged silence was beginning to seem unnatural, and she made some comment on the picturesque of a certain view they were afforded.

"Yes, it is quite beautiful Miss Bennet," Darcy rejoined, glad of any topic of conversation that might prove a diversion to Georgiana. "Georgie, It would be quite a nice aspect for you to sketch."

"Oh, do you draw Miss Darcy?" Elizabeth asked with interest.

"A little," Georgiana exerted herself to speak, "and not very well."

"She actually draws quite well," Darcy contradicted, "but she sometimes sets such impossibly high standards for herself that she ends up little satisfied."

Elizabeth laughed. "Well that's one problem that I don't have, but I can relate to what you are saying because I see it in my eldest sister. She may be ten times better than me, but she will never recognise it."

Mr Darcy mentally denied the image of Jane Bennet being superior to Elizabeth, but he didn't want to think about Jane Bennet just now. His conscience still pricked him a little over the role he had played in separating her from Bingley, so he was pleased when Georgiana spoke and turned the conversation back to art.

"Do you draw Miss Bennet?"

"Not at all. Even if nature had given me the talent Miss Darcy, I doubt if I would have the patience required to pursue such an art. I am quite willing to admit a great ignorance on the subject. I only know what I like and what I don't like."

Elizabeth's natural manner again set itself up in contrast to the affected and false behaviours Darcy had often witnessed in the more fashionable women of his acquaintance. Though very willing to make fun of others, they would never laugh at themselves. Elizabeth's honesty and spirit were like a breath of fresh air.

Although he personally found her presence distracting and, for his own peace of mind, would rather that she were far away, he was really pleased for Georgiana's sake that there was such a companion available to her during their stay at Rosings - someone with whom she could feel comfortable and at ease.

As they continued on their way Elizabeth noticed Darcy was promoting conversation between herself and his sister. For her part she felt that this interference was unnecessary, as she was quite happy to talk to Georgiana without his encouragement. It put her in the dilemma of having to choose between her desire to displease the brother and her inclination to please the sister. She wished she could do both at the same time but unfortunately that alternative did not appear to be before her, until she finally came upon a topic of conversation that couldn't possibly upset Miss Darcy but one that Mr Darcy seemed a little uncomfortable with, and addressed him directly.

``My eldest sister has been in town these three months. Have you never happened to see her there?''

She was perfectly sensible that he never had; but she wished to see whether he would betray any consciousness of what had passed between the Bingleys and Jane; and she thought he looked a little confused as he answered that he had never been so fortunate as to meet Miss Bennet.

``How very suddenly you all quitted Netherfield last November, Mr. Darcy! It must have been a most agreeable surprise to Mr. Bingley to see you all after him so soon; for, if I recollect right, he went but the day before." As she mentioned Bingley, Elizabeth could not help but turn to Georgiana, who had been set up as a rival to Jane, but there was no look in her that spoke of any particular regard. "He and his sisters were well, I hope, when you left London.''

``Perfectly so -- I thank you.''

She found that she was to receive no other answer -- and, after a short pause, added,

``I think I have understood that Mr. Bingley has not much idea of ever returning to Netherfield again?''

``I have never heard him say so; but it is probable that he may spend very little of his time there in future. He has many friends, and he is at a time of life when friends and engagements are continually increasing.''

``If he means to be but little at Netherfield, it would be better for the neighbourhood that he should give up the place entirely, for then we might possibly get a settled family there. But perhaps Mr. Bingley did not take the house so much for the convenience of the neighbourhood as for his own, and we must expect him to keep or quit it on the same principle.''

``I should not be surprised,'' said Darcy, ``if he were to give it up, as soon as any eligible purchase offers.''

Darcy dearly wished she would talk of something else, and was saved by Georgiana exclaiming at the sight of their cousin walking toward them.

"Oh, look who has walked out to join us again!"

This time Elizabeth did not fail to notice the animation on Miss Darcy's face, and it suggested a partiality for the cousin that had not previously occurred to her. She had not known Georgiana long enough to really draw any conclusions from her manner, but even the suspicion that the young girl may have feelings for Colonel Fitzwilliam was enough to make Elizabeth reassess her own manner toward him.

The Colonel was without a doubt a very pleasant companion and Elizabeth enjoyed his company a great deal. She would not however, risk upsetting Georgiana by particularly courting his attention now that she suspected her interest in him.

"I couldn't bear the thought of my cousin having the company of two attractive women while I was all alone," the Colonel smiled upon his arrival.

"You had the horses for company," Darcy threw back.

"I hardly think that an adequate compensation," Fitzwilliam laughed. "You're not comparing these ladies to our mounts, are you?"

"No, indeed!" Darcy defended himself. "Such a thought never entered my head and I wonder at your mind even conceiving such a comparison."

The Colonel just rolled his eyes as he gave up the idea that he could actually win a verbal  round against his cousn.

Elizabeth, aware that it would be quite natural for Colonel Fitzwilliam to now take his place at her side, called Miss Darcy away from her brother on the pretext of showing her something in the garden, so when they resumed their stroll back to Rosings the two girls walked together, talking amongst themselves, and the two men followed behind.

"I must say that the view one is afforded from here is not at all bad," the Colonel commented to his cousin in lowered tones. He was not looking at any aspect of the country side, but at the gentle sway of the young ladies walking in front. "Miss Bennet has a very pleasing figure and Georgiana has quite grown up in the last year or so."

Darcy did not at first reply. He wasn't sure if he was most discomforted by Fitzwilliam's admiration of Miss Bennet or that of his little sister.

"I ask you to remember that it is Georgiana you are talking of here," he finally answered, forcing the aside the twinge of jealousy he felt regarding Elizabeth.

"Yes it is, and she is no longer a child," Fitzwilliam laughed. "I know you'd be happier if you could  keep her a child forever, but I'm afraid that's quite outside the realm of possibility. You should be proud to see her growing up so well Darcy, despite the drama of last summer, and I must say that I've been enjoying the glimpses of the less reserved Georgiana that we've been getting over the last few days."

Darcy smiled at this.

"Yes, I think Miss Bennet is the ideal companion for her at the moment. I hope their friendship grows."

It was a hope that Darcy found realised over the next few weeks. Often when Charlotte was busy with Parish duties Elizabeth sought out the company of Miss Darcy, or 'Georgie' as Elizabeth now called her as they were on a first name basis. Georgiana was developing a very high opinion of Elizabeth, despite occasionally becoming almost alarmed at her liveliness, which sometimes seemed to edge toward impertinence .

Though she had not yet the courage to broach such a subject with her friend, Georgiana was suspicious that Lizzy had discerned her growing partiality for her cousin. Whenever Colonel Fitzwilliam joined them, Elizabeth seemed to encourage Georgiana's conversation with him and withdraw a little from the interaction herself. Georgiana was grateful for her friends efforts, as she felt totally inadequate as to know how to go about the promotion her own interests in this regard, and she had a feeling that, if Elizabeth really wanted to, she could totally captivate the Colonel's interest all for herself.

Elizabeth herself acknowledged that she was really drawn to Georgiana, whose intelligence, gentleness and eagerness to think well of people, reminded her many ways of Jane.

Apart from the irritating manner of Mr Collins, Elizabeth found her only source of real discontent during this period to be her concern for Jane's spirits. There were passages in her letters that showed that she was still struggling to support her positive outlook, and was not fully at ease with herself.

Although Mr Darcy, who spent far less time in her company than Georgiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam did, was usually polite and occasionally even amiable, and although he was always kind and solicitous in his attentions to Georgiana, Elizabeth could not shake the feeling that he had played a role in the disappointment of her own sister. So, when she coupled this suspicion with that which she knew of his character from Wickham, she still could not like the man.

Part 5

Darcy sat in an ante-room off a summer parlour (where he had hidden himself from the attentions of his Aunt) and tried to concentrate on his book. He was struggling once more though, as images of Elizabeth Bennet again invaded his mind. Try as he might he could not exorcise these thoughts; he avoided her company, he reminded himself that he was a man of consideration in the world, of the inferiority of her connections - but his fixation with her seemed to be growing daily. He knew aligning himself with such a family was not an option, and never would be. He just had to find a way to forget those eyes, her figure, her easy smile, playful manners and that soft laugh... oh no... it was happening again...

With a deliberate determination he turned his attention back to the page before him and forced himself to attend to the words. He managed more or less successfully, to keep his mind on the book until he was disturbed by the very laughter that he had earlier been trying to banish from his thoughts. It was obvious that Georgiana and Elizabeth had entered the adjoining room from the other door.

Darcy waited a moment to see if they would just pass through. If they intended to settle he knew he would have to excuse himself from their company as the last thing he needed at that moment was further exposure to the alluring Miss Bennet. His hesitation however, cost him dear, as by the time he'd realised that the girls indeed meant to stay, he'd begun to comprehend that their conversation was of a rather personal nature, and it would be somewhat embarrassing to let them know he'd overheard them.

He felt extremely uncomfortable with his situation, but could see no way out without announcing his presence. His only alternative seemed to be to lay low until the girls moved on, and desperately hope that their talk became somewhat less personal in the mean time.

"...I certainly don't think you need to worry about such things at your age and in your position," Elizabeth was laughing. "You have all the time in the world and many personal attractions."

"It's my 'position' as you put it, that causes me much of my concern," Georgiana continued. "How am I to know whether I am admired for who I am, rather than for what I'm heir to?"

"Well, at least that's a problem that I don't have," Elizabeth answered cheerfully. "Honestly Georgie, you're an intelligent girl. You just have to take things easy and make the time to really get to know the essence of a person. A little cynicism doesn't hurt... it is a fact that there are many people who might wish to take advantage of you, but there are also many who are good and sincere. It would be a terrible thing to lose faith in the world as a whole, through fear of some people's motives."

"But it's hard not to be suspicious Lizzy, and what if I get it wrong?"

"Georgie, life will never be perfectly safe, but in the long run it's much better to learn discernment and to face things head on. Hiding from life doesn't solve anything."

"I'm not sure my discernment is up to the task," Georgiana admitted softly. "I've made some very poor judgements before today."

Elizabeth could sense that Georgiana was in earnest and sought to reassure her.

"We've all made poor judgements Georgie, but the best thing is to learn from them and put them behind you. You need to take on some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure."

Georgiana gave her a reluctant smile.

"Such a philosophy might work for those whose past is void of unpleasant memories..."

"Do you mean to imply that my life has been full of roses?" Elizabeth laughed, obviously trying to lighten the tone of the conversation. "It's easy to see that you didn't grow up in a house with four sisters."

"It can't be that bad," Georgiana smiled. "I would have loved a sister."

"Well, you'd often be welcome to one of mine, but I must insist on keeping Jane for myself. Now her, I could not part with."

"I would have loved a sister to have talked these matters over with Lizzy. William is a wonderful brother but I sometimes find him a little daunting."

"I can well believe that," Elizabeth answered. "Sisters at least have that advantage over brothers. Jane and I can share almost anything, and it's wonderful to have a confidant."

"Yes it is Elizabeth, I'm learning that right now. You really don't mind me telling you these things?"

"Of course not Georgie, is there something else worrying you?"

"Well... I know that this might sound silly. You've told me to take my time and be discerning, but what if no really nice man ever wants me. What if I turn away someone and then never receive another offer. Isn't an imperfect marriage better than no marriage at all?... Lizzy, don't laugh at me..."

"I'm sorry Georgie, but I was perfectly serious in what I said before. You are 16, with years of bloom still ahead of you. You are a very pretty girl, well connected, unassuming, good humoured and intelligent. You should stop under-valuing yourself. You have no reason at all to be desperate... and as for you last question, I would have to answer with an emphatic no! An unequal marriage is not a better alternative to no marriage at all."

"Do you really think that Lizzy? Would you really risk turning down an eligible offer of marriage...? Tell me what is so funny - why are you smiling like that...? Lizzy, have you ever turned down an offer of marriage...?"

"Only one," Elizabeth smiled, "and it might make a good case in point for what I'm saying."

"Would it have been a good match in the eyes of the world?" Georgie questioned.

"Not the part of the world that has any sense," Elizabeth answered, "but in a purely prudential light it wouldn't have bad match. The man stands to inherit my father's estate."

"Ew, Mr Collins!" Georgiana exclaimed in disgust.

In the ante-room Darcy's mind had made the connection a few seconds before Georgiana, and his reaction was at least as acute. The idea of Elizabeth married to a man like Collins was enough to make the stomach turn. He was also angry at the hide of such a man in even assuming it might be in his power to attain the affections of a woman his superior in so many ways.

Back in the larger room Georgiana was begging for details, and after obtaining the requisite promises from the younger girl that the story would go no further, Elizabeth relented and told her the tale with great spirit, delighting in all that was ridiculous in the circumstance.

"...and I found myself being solemnly addressed by my father," Elizabeth concluded. "Now let me see if I can recall his exact words - 'An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. -- Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do'."

By the time Elizabeth finished Georgiana was wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes.

"Oh, thank goodness for your father. What on earth would you have done without his support?"

"I'm very grateful for my father's interference, but believe me Georgie, even without out it nothing could have ever induced me to marry Mr Collins."

"You must admit though," Georgiana asked, sobering up a little, "Mr Collins is rather an extreme example. What if the offer had come from someone a little more personable?"

"I have never been in that situation; Jane has though. I flatter myself however that I would make no compromise in this area. Our own family has shown us how important it is to have a partner in life who you can respect. We will not marry without affection and esteem."

"So Jane has turned down a proposal as well?"

"Yes, but fortunately the offer and her refusal were kept from my mother. Jane was staying at my Uncle Gardiner's home in town when she was only 15, and a gentleman of significant means became almost obsessed with her, he called all the time, wrote her poetry and bought her gifts - which were immediately returned. The man however, was patronisingly arrogant and Jane found his attentions overbearing. My Aunt tried to warn my mother in order to have Jane removed from the situation, but my mother only became over-excited at the prospect of such an attachment, and made matters worse. In the end my father had to be applied to, and he arrived in London just in time to refuse consent. My mother still thinks that the man just lost interest."

"Has she never received an offer since?" Georgiana inquired.

"No," Elizabeth answered softly. "She is very beautiful but she doesn't put herself forward. Even though she may have suffered disappoint since then, I still believe she does not regret her decision to hold out for appropriate affection."

It probably does not need to be stated, but hearing this about Jane did not sit very comfortably with Darcy's already uneasy conscience. As he thought about the role he'd played in separating Elizabeth's sister from his friend, he could not help but ask if this had been the disappointment to which Elizabeth had just referred?

Meanwhile, in the adjoining room the conversation had moved on.

"Is there anyone in your current acquaintance from whom you would consider accepting a proposal ?" Georgiana had asked. "Would you consider my cousin for instance?"

"No Georgie... and I think you know why," Elizabeth answered with a smile.

Georgiana blushed and quickly moved on to hide her embarrassment.

"What about my brother then?"

"Never!" Elizabeth answered decisively, and then laughed at the look of abject astonishment on Georgiana's face. "I'm sorry Georgie but it's hard to conceive of a couple less compatible than you brother and myself."



Part 6

The arrival in the room of Mr Collins looking for Elizabeth, brought a sudden end to the discussion between the two girls and soon Darcy found himself again alone, with nothing but his thoughts for company.

The stupefaction that he'd experienced on hearing Elizabeth's emphatic 'never!' had eased somewhat, and instead his feelings had settled into a rational denial. She couldn't have honestly meant that she'd never consider a proposal from him. Her reaction was most likely one of embarrassment at being asked such a question by his little sister... but then again, she hadn't seemed particularly embarrassed - more amused. Why then should she deny that an offer of marriage from him would be very desirable proposition? No one in Elizabeth's position, while still possessed of her right mind, could possibly refuse such an offer.

He ran his mind over their relative situations, and felt a little comforted at the conclusion that her negative response must have been some form of disguise. It didn't matter anyway. He would never offer, so why should he be concerned over whether or not she'd accept? If she were not interested in him it was all the better. Why should it matter to him? If Elizabeth didn't want him there were plenty of other far more eligible and better-connected women, who did! He would put this business and Elizabeth out of his mind forever.

Putting the matter out if his head however, was far easier determined than done, and her 'never!' stayed with him for the rest of the day and disturbed his sleep through the night.

Given the substance of the whole of the overheard conversation, Darcy was almost embarrassed that it was the 'never!'  which dominated his thoughts so completely. Georgiana has been sharing deep-seated fears and insecurities, but his mind was barely recalling these things as it turned again and again to question of what possible reason Elizabeth could have to reject him as an acceptable partner.

The next morning he sought out Fitzwilliam's company in his quest for distraction and relief.

"...and how are you feeling today Darcy?" Fitzwilliam inquired. "You seemed a little out of sorts last night."

"I'm fine Fitz, there's just a little matter of business that's been playing on my mind." Well... it wasn't exactly untrue. It was a business of sorts.

"Anything that I can help you with?" the Colonel asked.

"Not really, But I think that I may go into town later this week to deal with it," Darcy replied. Yes, that was the perfect idea. He just needed a few days far away from Elizabeth Bennet to clear his mind.

The satisfaction that he received from such a plan was short lived though, as the two men were soon joined by Georgiana and Elizabeth who had walked over with Mr and Mrs Collins on their morning visit to Lady Catherine. The Colonel greeted the ladies with pleasure, and slipped into easy conversation with them..

As on so many occasions previously, Darcy found himself intently watching Elizabeth, but this time with a slightly different perspective. He watched not so much to try and discern his feelings for her, but rather to discern her feelings for him. It was a disconcerting point of view as he found himself questioning more and more, whether she might not have been speaking the absolute truth in her opinion of him on the preceding day. She was friendly and open in her interaction with his cousin and sister, but no more than polite in her treatment of him. He noticed for the first time that her smiles, which were frequently directed at the others, seemed not to be happily bestowed on him.

For someone so used to having others court his attention and good opinion, it came as a shock to realise that Elizabeth seemed to be only tolerating his company. He excused himself from the group and headed toward the stables, feeling the need for some release of tension. About an hour later, after some reasonably heavy riding, he reigned his horse in and left it to graze while he sat himself down to properly think things through. It was obvious enough that his feelings were not going  to be repressed, so he may as well face them.

He found himself going over much of the overheard conversation in order to try to find any clues to her negative reaction to the idea of marrying him. When she spoke of what she desired in marriage she had used terms like 'respect', 'esteem' and 'affection'. The glaring implication was that she didn''t feel  these things toward Darcy, but how could that be? He could understand her rejecting Collins on that basis, but he would hardly put himself in the same category as the obsequious little clergyman.

He questioned what he'd ever done to forfeited Elizabeth's respect... what action had he taken to deserve such indifference? Then it suddenly came to him, almost as an epiphany, that he was asking the wrong question, that he should have been asking what he'd ever done to earn her affection and respect.

He ran his mind over their past relationship, and found little to satisfy in doing so. He thought back to the very beginning of their acquaintance.

``She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men."

Could she have overheard him? He hadn't taken any care to ensure she'd not. His mind turned to subsequent meetings.

``Indeed, Sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. -- I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner.''

` `You excel so much in the dance, Miss Eliza, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you; and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half hour.''

``Mr. Darcy is all politeness,''

``He is indeed -- but considering the inducement, my dear Miss Eliza, we cannot wonder at his complaisance; for who would object to such a partner?''

He remembered Elizabeth's arch look as she turned away... oh my... she must have heard him.

He smiled almost bitterly as he ran his mind over the time she'd spent at Netherfield, and the thought of how hard he'd worked at trying to overcome his growing attraction. He'd enjoyed their sparring exchanges, but that's all they'd been, quick exchanges. They didn't have so much as a normal conversation in the whole time she was there. He remembered their banter on her last evening there.

"But it has been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule.''

``Such as vanity and pride.''

Was that really how she saw him? - as vain and proud. When he really put his mind to it though, he couldn't think of any reason for her to think otherwise. In his struggle with his own feelings he had often been deliberately distant and aloof. He had worked hard at letting no sign of admiration escape him. He had not wanted her to build up any false hopes in regard to his intentions. Now that was ironic wasn't it? Whose hopes had proved false in the end? How could he have been so full of his own feelings to have never once considered hers?

He could only recall one occasion, in the whole of their acquaintance, when he had really tried to get to know her a little, and that had turned out very poorly indeed. It was at the ball at Netherfield,  he had not intended to ask her to dance, but she had looked so beautiful. He now unhappily recalled some of their exchange that evening.

``Sir William's interruption has made me forget what we were talking of.''

``I do not think we were speaking at all. Sir William could not have interrupted any two people in the room who had less to say for themselves. -- We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine.''

``What think you of books?''

``Books -- Oh! no. -- I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings.''

Yes, Elizabeth had meant it when she told Georgiana they were incompatible. She wasn't just posturing.

Darcy winced as he remembered more of the conversation.

``When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance.''

``Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends -- whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain.''

``He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship, and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life...''

``I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created.''

``I am,''

``And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?''

``I hope not.''

``It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first.''

``May I ask to what these questions tend?''

``Merely to the illustration of your character,I am trying to make it out.''

``And what is your success?''

``I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.''

He could only imagine what Wickham may have said about him. If he'd already started making insinuations while Darcy was still in the locality, what might have he said after the group from Netherfield had left for town?

Darcy sat there almost overwhelmed by a confusion of feelings. He was angry with Wickham and angry with himself, he was hurt by the knowledge that a woman whom he so admired obviously held him in such low esteem and, on top of this, the guilt he had been trying to repress over separating Bingley and Jane, was again reasserting itself.

He had reassured himself many times that he was right in this interference, not only because of the poor connections and the lack of propriety within the Bennet family, but mostly because he had been convinced of Miss Bennet's indifference. What he'd heard from Elizabeth on the preceding day however, was creating huge cracks in this conviction. His interference in Bingley's affairs, particularly his concealment of the fact that Jane was in town, now seemed impertinent and beneath him. Bingley was a grown man and should be allowed to choose the direction of his own life.

Darcy finally stood and moved to retrieve his mount.

"Well my good fellow," he addressed his horse as he took the reigns in his hand. "I've obviously made a lot of mistakes over the last few months and I will live to regret them, but Bingley should not have to share in the consequences of my misjudgements."


Part 7

Darcy returned to Rosings and made plans to leave for London on the following day. His Aunt was seriously displeased with this defection, but he assured her that the business was pressing, and that his absence would only be of a short duration.

Under ordinary circumstances Fitzwilliam would have jumped at this as an opportunity to accompany Darcy and get away from Rosings for a few days, but this time he didn't even suggest such a plan. The company of Elizabeth and Georgiana had added a great deal to his enjoyment of Kent, and though it crossed his mind for a moment that he too could visit London, he owned to himself that he would really much rather stay where he was.

Elizabeth's positive influence on Georgiana seemed to be growing daily, and Fitzwilliam was gratified to see his young cousin finally coming out from behind the walls she'd so carefully erected around he since the Wickham incident. He was again seeing glimpses of the open and affectionate, if somewhat quiet, little girl he had known before. Only this time it was different; Georgie was a little girl no longer. She had grown into quite a young lady. Not only was her figure well formed and her appearance womanly and graceful, but her understanding was developing a real intelligence and maturity. Over the last few weeks Fitzwilliam had been seeking out her company more and more, even when Elizabeth was not present, and he was finding great pleasure in his discussions with her, and in the influence he could have on her opinions and taste.

Darcy had not yet left the house. He did not need to be in London at any particular time so there was no cause for hurry, and though he denied to himself that he was waiting to see Elizabeth before he left, his disappointment upon Mr and Mrs Collins's arriving for their morning visit by themselves, showed him otherwise.

Polite greetings were made all around before Charlotte turned to Georgiana.

"Elizabeth is just finishing off a letter to Jane, and expects to be over within the next half hour."

Darcy waited no longer and gave his apologies as he made to leave. An idea had just occurred to him that would make his business in London seem far more natural and a lot easier.

Ten minutes later Elizabeth was startled by a ring at the door. As she had heard no carriage, she thought it not impossible to be Lady Catherine, and under that apprehension was putting away her almost finished letter, that she might escape all impertinent questions, when the door opened, and to her very great surprise, Mr Darcy, and Mr Darcy only, entered the room.

"I hope you will pardon my intrusion Miss Bennet," he spoke politely, "but Mrs Collins said that you were just completing a letter to your sister, and as I am at this moment leaving for a few days in London, I thought that I might offer to convey the missive for you."

Elizabeth, in complete astonishment, did not at first know how to react. She considered, out of pure perverseness, refusing his kind offer, but this somehow seemed too petty and ungracious.

She hesitated a moment before making her reply.

"Why... thank you Mr Darcy... but I haven't quite finished it yet. If you are leaving now I can easily send it by post."

"A small delay will make no difference to my journey, I'm happy to wait if I can be of some service to you."

Elizabeth looked as confused at this civility as she had been by his original offer, and suggested he take a seat while she finished off her missive.

Darcy watched her as she took out the letter and resumed writing. Her astonished reaction to his offer had given him some pain. The idea that she thought such a small act of kindness was beyond him, hurt more than he wanted to acknowledge. Though he had completely given up the idea of marriage to her - he had never entertained it in the first place, had he? - Darcy did want to prove, by every civility in his power, that he was not nearly as devoid of all proper feeling as she supposed. Now that he was in her presence the strength of his desire to lessen her ill-opinion surprised him, and he hoped her dislike of him wasn't so deep as to be immovable.

His introspections were interrupted by Elizabeth's rising at the completion of her correspondence.

"Thank you for waiting sir," she said as she handed him the letter, the formal tone of her address depressing his spirits even further. She looked hesitant even now. "You understand my Aunt and Uncle live in Gracechurch Street."

"Yes, I've heard it mentioned previously. I'm sure I'll have no difficulty in locating the residence." He tried to sound easy and unconcerned, though he knew that only two days ago his pride would have fought hard against making a social call in that part of town. If he were strictly honest, he still balked at such a proposition, but he needed, as much as possible, to correct the consequences of his interference in Bingley's affairs.

He became aware that an awkward silence had now settled on the room, and that Elizabeth was considering him as though wondering if he had been in the sun for too long. Understanding that he may have overstayed his welcome, he took his leave.

Bingley was pleasantly surprised late that afternoon, by an unlooked for visit from his particular friend. He welcomed Darcy with his customary warmth and the conversation soon turned to matters more pertinent in Darcy's mind.

"You must tell me how you're surviving your visit with your Aunt. Has the addition of Georgiana, as well as Colonel Fitzwilliam, made any difference to your enjoyment of the stay?"

"Actually our party has been larger still," answered Darcy, deciding that he might as well just get to the point of his call straight up. "Miss Elizabeth Bennet has been visiting at the parsonage next to Rosings, and she and Georgiana have formed quite a friendship."

The look that passed Bingley's face on the mention of the Bennet name, made Darcy feel his misplaced interference all the more.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet did you say?" Bingley answered with a forced lightness. "Was she the only one of her family visiting?"

"Yes she was. You remember Miss Lucas of course. She married my Aunt's clergyman Mr Collins. Do you recall meeting him toward the end of our stay at Hertfordshire?"

"Yes, I do vaguely," Bingley replied. "I must admit that I was rather preoccupied with other things at the time."

"I know you were Charles." Bingley looked up at Darcy's uncustomary use of his Christian name, somehow sensing the serious turn of the conversation. "That's actually what I need to talk to you about."

"Do you still fear me making a fool of myself over Miss Bennet?" Bingley answered - his voice as close to bitterness in its tone as Darcy had ever heard it. "I believe even I have come to fully accept that she never really cared for me. She has not even continued correspondence with Caroline, and I believe that if she had any feelings for me at all, she would have at least tried to have maintained that connection."

"In this, I know you are mistaken," Darcy stated unable to look his friend in the face. "In fact Miss Bennet not only wrote, but even visited Miss Bingley on her arrival in town almost two months ago."

Bingley looked unsure of how to understand Darcy's information.

"Are you saying that Miss Bennet was in town... in my home... and Caroline kept it from me?"

"Not only Caroline..." Darcy replied, uncomfortably lifting his eyes to meet his friend's. "I also knew she was in town and didn't tell you."

Darcy winced as he saw an unfamiliar flash of anger in Bingley's eye.

"Darcy, as a good friend you certainly have the right of persuasion and influence, and I accept that - but this... this is deceit! I can believe this of Caroline - but of you ?" The pain in Bingley's voice was undeniable. "And why, may I ask are you telling me this now? Is this just that you believe punishment in good for my development, or is there a real point to any of this belated information?"

Darcy sat in silence, all his well rehearsed excuses and justifications suddenly sounded very hollow. What was he to say? Was he to remind him of the want of propriety continually displayed by Jane's mother and three younger sisters? Was he again to point out that her situation was rather beneath Bingley's own, or should he just stay with the plea that he had sincerely believed that Miss Bennet was not attached to him? Somehow upon witnessing strength of Bingley's obvious feelings for Miss Bennet, nothing really sounded reasonable.

"I was wrong, and I owe you my apologies," Darcy eventually replied. "I acted out of arrogance, and a misplaced idea that it was all for your good."

Bingley's face softened toward his friend on this confession.

"Misplaced?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, misplaced. I happened to overhear a conversation the other day which has caused me to question my conviction of Miss Bennet's indifference."

Bingley hardly knew how to respond to such a revelation. He had spent almost four months unsuccessfully trying to overcome his disappointment at Jane's insensibility toward him. He had placed a great reliance on Darcy's opinion, particularly in such an important matter as matrimony. He had previously felt assured that Jane returned his affection with sincere, if not equal regard, and it had crushed him to find that not only his sisters, but also his friend, believed her indifferent.

If the past months had taught Bingley anything though, it was to be more cautious in his expectations. Though he truly wanted to hope, he wasn't quite prepared to again put his emotions on the line without good reason.

"What was it that you heard?"

"I can't remember the exact words," Darcy answered softly. "Just that Miss Bennet has previously refused an offer on the basis of insufficient affection. Miss Elizabeth said quite clearly that her sister would never marry a man for whom she did not feel esteem and affection."

"That's very admirable of her," Bingley answered, feeling all the more the loss of such a woman, "but I don't see how this benefits me at all."

"Miss Elizabeth also commented on the fact that Miss Bennet was never forward... I may have mistaken her decorum for lack of feeling."

"It's possible I suppose, but you are normally a fairly accurate judge of character. I feel no confidence that Miss Elizabeth's statement really gives me more certainty of Miss Bennet's feelings."

Darcy could see that convincing Bingley to give his chances with Jane another try, were not as high as he'd hoped. The protective barriers were well and truly up.

"Miss Elizabeth also spoke of her sister going through disappointment."

Bingley looked up sharply upon hearing this statement.

"Did she say it was over me?"

At this point Darcy dearly wished he could have answered in the affirmative.

"Not exactly, but I've been unable to shake the feeling that she was referring to you."

Bingley laughed out loud at this.

"Do you know what you've done to now Darce?" he asked shaking his head. "If I accept that Miss Elizabeth was talking about what happened between her sister and myself, you've given me hope, and dashed it in one stroke. If she did feel for me, what must she think of me now after four months silence? She must think me every kind of cad for leading her on and then disappearing without an apparent backwards glance."

"I don't think Miss Bennet is of the nature to either develop or hold on to resentments," Darcy replied, trying to reassure himself as much as Bingley.

"Oh, so you think I should just return to Hertfordshire and take things up as though nothing has happened?"

"Sarcasm doesn't become you," Darcy answered in exasperation. "I know that I can't undo what's been done, but this matter is not past repair. I can see that your feelings are obviously unabated, so unless you consider Miss Bennet likely to be fickle in her affections, I believe there is a good chance of this all coming to a happy resolution."

"That is if she had affections for me in the first place... if it was me who caused her disappointment..."

"I know that nothing is assured, but will you really let the chance to find out for certain pass you by?"

"Darcy, on the smallest amount of hope I am willing to be in Hertfordshire within the week," Bingley smiled at his friend.

"That's not exactly necessary," Darcy returned. "She's still visiting with  her relations in London."

"London..." Bingley's smile, though still a little uncertain, became less strained. "Do you really think she might be glad to see me...?"

"There's only one way to find out. Are you prepared to make a morning call tomorrow?"

"Of course! But what reason can I give for such a unexpected visit. It will surely seem unnatural after the long recess in our association."

"How does the excuse of delivering a letter from her sister sound?" Darcy grinned, producing his trump card.

"It sounds very well indeed," Bingley replied. "Very well indeed."


Part 8

The Darcy carriage rolled around to the Gardiner residence, inside its occupants sat silently, one in a nervous anticipation, and the other stealing himself for the affront his pride was about to encounter through association with these trade based relatives of the Bennets. If his honour had not been involved in correcting his interference in Bingley's affairs, there would have been naught to induce him to make such a call.

That the Gardiners' situation was so far beneath his own, was nothing compared to the fact that Mr Gardiner was the younger brother of Mrs Bennet and Mrs Phillips. He knew what he should expect on that count, and his whole being revolted against the degradation of such a fraternisation.

The house at which  they eventually pulled up in front, was by no means as grand as Darcy's or even Bingley's, but it was well kept and attractive. Darcy looked across at the anxious expression on his friend's face and reminded himself of how little his concerns stood up against Bingley's.

He threw what he hoped was an encouraging smile to his friend.

"Well, there's nothing for it now but to have ourselves announced."

"This is hard Darce, I want this so much, but I fear it too."

"At least you will have a better idea of how things stand, one way or the other," Darcy replied. "Come on, stalling is not going to make this any easier."

Mrs Gardiner, her eight year old daughter Julia, and Jane, were sitting together in the dining room when the servant approached the door announcing the gentlemen visitors.

As she stood, Mrs Gardiner looked across at Jane in concern. Her niece looked paler than usual, but more sedate than Mrs Gardiner would have expected. On the gentlemen's appearing her colour increased; yet she received them with a tolerable ease, and with a propriety equally free from any symptom of resentment, or any unnecessary compliance. The amount of sheer will and composure that it took for Jane to make the appropriate introductions, would have never been suspected by an independent observer.

"Mr Darcy, Mr Bingley... it's a pleasure to have your company again. May I present my Aunt, Mrs Gardiner, and my eldest cousin Julia.

As Bingley looked across at Miss Bennet he felt all his social powers desert him. She was even more lovely than he remembered, and he suddenly felt totally unworthy of this beautiful woman. He could not determine if again being in Jane's presence, was enough to make up for the feelings of inadequacy and anxiety that he were currently assailing him.

Mrs Gardiner, feeling the more than common awkwardness attached to the situation, took matters in hand and welcomed her visitors with utmost politeness, offering them a seat.

"Julia dear, would you mind fetching your father from the study. You can then join your brothers and sister in the nursery."

Julia immediately complied to her mothers instructions and, giving a shy smile and curtsey, she left the room.

Darcy, as acute an observer as ever, was taking in everything with an astonishment that it took self-restraint to conceal. The house was tasteful and not at all ostentatious. Mrs Gardiner obviously had different ideas on décor than Mrs Bennet. Mrs Gardiner herself was also a surprise. She was probably a year or two older than himself, an attractive woman with sense and humour in her face. Her manners also showed her to be sensible and well-bred.

When Mr Gardiner entered the room, a very few minutes observation showed Darcy that his good looks were probably the only thing he shared with his older sister. Every time he spoke, his intelligence, taste, and good manners were marked, leaving Darcy to feel ashamed at the sentiments he had indulged in the carriage that morning. His visit to the Gardiners' was proving to be a rather humbling experience.

Very early in the visit Darcy had revealed the purpose of the call by handing over the letter from Elizabeth.

Jane received the letter with gratitude and thanked him for his consideration in bringing it to her. In noting the serenity of her countenance and air, Darcy might have believe her unaffected by the unexpected visit from Bingley, had she not been betrayed by the agitated activity of her hands. She continually played with the letter, turning it about and handling it so much that Darcy wondered if it would still be easily readable by the end of the visit.

The conversation had naturally turned to Kent and Elizabeth. All of her relatives' interested inquiries were answered by Darcy to the best of his knowledge, and he was a little embarrassed that, due to his withdrawn behaviour at Rosings, he was not as equipped to answer their questions as fully as he might have wished.

Darcy was also concerned at the unusual occurance of  Bingley hardly entering into the conversation, so took the earliest possible moment to clear things in regard to his friend's previous failure to call.

"When I mentioned my intention of visiting to deliver the letter to you, Miss Bennet, Mr Bingley was taken completely by surprise. Until last night he was totally ignorant of your being in town."

Even Bingley could not fail to notice how this information effected Miss Bennet's countenance. Her careful guard was let down for just a moment as undeniable emotion crossed her face, and the letter fell unnoticed from her hand.

Bingley reacted immediately, leaving his seat to retrieve the dropped letter and to place it into Jane's hand. He took the opportunity that this afforded to take a seat closer to Miss Bennet. Though, when he had first entered, his embarrassment had caused him to speak little to her; now every five minutes, he seemed to be giving her more of his attention.

Mrs Gardiner soon excused herself in order to give her children the attention they required, and Darcy and Mr Gardiner continued in their own conversation, so as to leave Jane and Bingley opportunity to talk among themselves.

At the point when the visit had gone for as long as would normally be considered right, Darcy indicated to Bingley that they should be leaving. He thanked Mr Gardiner for his hospitality, and then made an offer which, it occurred to him, would not only forward the cause of Bingley, but would give himself the pleasure of good company.

"I only remain in town one day more, Mr Gardiner, but was hoping to attend the theatre tomorrow evening. I would be honoured if you, Mrs Gardiner and your niece would be my guests... and you too of course Bingley," he added with a smile to his friend. "It would also give me a chance, Miss Bennet, to collect any return correspondence you may wish me to convey to your sister."

Mr Gardiner accepted the invitation with a pleasure that he would have, only an hour before, felt impossible. All he had previously heard of Mr Darcy was that he was proud and disagreeable but, as far as his own short acquaintance had reached, he could find no such fault. Mr Darcy was perfectly well behaved, polite and unassuming.

                                                                       ~/~

The day after next, Elizabeth arrived home from a solitary ramble to find Charlotte waiting for her with two letters, one from Jane and one from Mrs Gardiner, which Mr Darcy had personally delivered on his way back to Rosings.

"My dear Eliza," Charlotte said as she handed over the letters. "I know you will again deny the likelihood, but he must be in love with you. I can find no other explanation for such behaviour." It was not the first time that she had suggested to Elizabeth the possibility of Mr Darcy being partial to her, but Elizabeth had always laughed at the idea. This time was no different.

"The whole idea is absurd Charlotte. It takes a huge effort for the man to condescend to give me any notice at all, and believe me - I'm happy with it that way."

"It seems to me that it takes more of an effort for him to pull his eyes away from you," Charlotte returned. "Have you never noticed how much he looks at you"

"Only to criticise, I'm sure," laughed Elizabeth.

"I would have thought that such an occupation would have worn quite thin by now," Charlotte murmured under her breath, but decided not to push the matter further with her friend.

"Do you mind if I excuse myself to read the letters," Elizabeth asked before removing herself to a bench in a reasonably secluded part of the garden.

She first opened Jane's missive, and nothing could have prepared her for the communication it contained. It took her so much by surprise that she had to re-read it to really accept that Mr Darcy had taken Mr Bingley to visit when he delivered her letter to the Gardiner residence.

"....Now that the first meeting is over," wrote Jane "I feel perfectly easy. I know my own strength, and I shall never be embarrassed again by his coming. I am glad we go to the theatre tomorrow night. It will then be publicly seen, on both sides, that we meet only as common and indifferent acquaintance..."

Elizabeth was still fighting disbelief as, in her eagerness to discover more, she opened her aunt's letter. It contained much of the same information as Jane's, but Elizabeth was pleased with her aunt's more independent view on the meeting between Jane and Mr Bingley.

". ..Jane was surprisingly calm during the whole of the meeting, and had I not known of the hurt and disappointment she had gone through when Miss Bingley made it abundantly clear that a continuation of the acquaintance was not desired, I might have thought her truly unaffected. When Mr Darcy however, mentioned that Mr Bingley had been ignorant of her presence in London until being informed of it by Mr Darcy on the preceding evening, Jane's composure faltered significantly. I can little imagine the relief that such a revelation brought with it.

I understand now what you meant by Mr Bingley's 'promising inclination'. I was only with the guests a little above 15 minutes, as I had the children to attend to, but his preference for Jane was clear. Mr Gardiner tells me that by the end of the interview he was wholly engrossed by her, and that it was left for he and Mr Darcy to maintain conversation between themselves..."

Elizabeth pitied her uncles role. She could imagine the strained silences and the look on the edge of disdain that would have been on Mr Darcy's face. Her Aunt however, continued the letter.

"...Mr Darcy's invitation to join him in his box tonight was a totally unlooked for civility. Jane says she is at ease, and that she wishes for nothing more than friendship with her gentleman, but I think she has more convinced herself that this is her desire, than us. I do not know what it was that kept Mr Bingley away from Hertfordshire, but it was certainly not indifference.

As for Mr Darcy, how came you to tell us he was so disagreeable and proud? He has something stately about him to be sure, but is confined to his air, and not at all unbecoming. I know our acquaintance has been trifling, but I really should not have thought that he could have behaved in so cruel a way by anybody as he has done by poor Wickham. He has not an illnatured look. I can just suppose our knowledge to be incomplete on that ground...

"Incomplete!" exclaimed Elizabeth. "Wickham gave me names, facts... everything; besides there was truth in his looks..."

Somehow, despite the reassurance of her thoughts, Elizabeth began to feel distinctly uncomfortable. As thrilled as she was by Jane's reintroduction into Mr Bingley's company, she was totally confused by how Mr Darcy seemed to fit into it. As convinced as she had been that Mr Darcy was party to the separation of Bingley and Jane, it made no sense that he was taking pains to bring them together now. Could she have misjudged him? Might the separation have been the work of his sisters alone? Despite thinking on it for above half an hour, she could find no way of looking at the matter which could sit happily with her reason.

Part 9

If Elizabeth was feeling discomforted by the turn of circumstances, Darcy was feeling no less so. The revolution that his understanding had gone through since overhearing Elizabeth and Georgiana's conversation, only days earlier, still left him a little shell-shocked.

For the first time in his adult life he had been examining his own presumptions and view of the world, and much of what he had found was cause for disquiet. While part of him was still inclined to feel indignant at Elizabeth's quick dismissal of him, to feel that he had been misrepresented and misunderstood, another more disloyal part of his mind dared to suggest that some of his of his behaviour may have been tainted by a pride which bordered on conceit.

Still, he argued with himself, didn't he have reason for pride? Wasn't some respect due to him on the basis of who he was? Did not his noble and honourable heritage count for anything?

It was not only his birth though, that gave him reason for pride. Hadn't he always lived according to strong principle? Were not his position, intelligence, education and person worthy of any regard?

This justification of his pride gave him some relief, until his dissenting voice went on to suggest that, just because a person has pride in ones-self, it doesn't necessarily follow that they have to think meanly of the rest of the world. His incorrect presumptions about the Gardiners should have at least taught him something about automatically assuming that others had less sense and worth compared with his own.

Still, as worthy as the Gardiners were, it did not change the fact that both socially and financially, they were considerably beneath him. He almost envied the fact that Bingley's situation made the Bennet girls' want of connection a far lesser evil regarding his attachment to Jane, than it would prove to be to himself... if he ever desired an attachment to Elizabeth.

He told himself yet again, that this was a desire he could never indulge. Despite all Elizabeth's attractions, he could never make such an unequal match.

Regardless of such reasoning, Darcy could still not leave matters between himself and Elizabeth, as they were. The idea of her thinking ill of him caused him undeniable pain, and he had an irrefutable need to make her understand him better and to lessen at least some of her ill-opinion.

Whether he wanted to acknowledge it or not, he had to admit that his behaviour to Elizabeth had never been open or engaging. He'd spent far more time trying to stay aloof from her than trying to get to know her properly, or even allowing her to see the real him. It was little wonder she'd given credit to Wickham's lies, as he'd never given her reason to doubt them.

So he continued in his wish to show her, by ever civility in his power, that he could act with proper consideration for others, and that he could put aside all that was ill-considered in his treatment of others. He was embarrassed too, that his preoccupation with Elizabeth during this visit had caused him to be a little distant from both Georgiana and Fitzwilliam, and he meant to make it up to them as well.

His introspection though, had caused him to question his real motivation for change. He couldn't determine whether it was predominantly a matter of doing what he now knew to be right and proper, a matter of acting upon wounded pride, or a recognition that he had a deep need to gain the respect of a woman toward whom he felt real admiration. He hoped it was the first, feared it was the second, and denied to himself that it would be the third.

~/~

When Elizabeth visited Rosings on the following day, she was a little relieved that Darcy was not with his sister and cousin. Elizabeth knew that she owed him thanks for the delivery of the letters, and felt that she also owed him gratitude for his reintroduction of Bingley into Jane's company, but having a debt of gratitude to this man she was so determined to hate, did not sit easily with her. She was quite willing to put off the requisite thanks to a later time.

Hoping to get out of the house before coming across him, she suggested a walk, which Georgiana agreed to, and the Colonel declined.

"I promised Darcy I'd ride with him this morning... I must say Georgie, it's good to have him behaving more like himself again. It must have been whatever business took him to London playing on his mind, and making him so withdrawn lately. He's certainly seemed more communicative since his return."

Elizabeth's mind reacted slightly to Colonel Fitzwilliam's comment, rejecting the suggestion that his aloof behaviour while in Kent was at all atypical, then put the matter quickly aside to enjoy the walk.

That evening those from the parsonage were again engaged to dine at Rosings. Elizabeth accepted that she would have to address Darcy with her thanks, and deciding it was time to get the matter over and done with she approached him soon after entering the room.

"I must express my thanks, Mr Darcy, for the delivery of the letters from my Aunt and sister. Receiving mail from them is always a matter of pleasure for me."

The words sounded natural enough, but Darcy noted the formality of the tone and the lack of warmth in her address.

"It was a pleasure to be of service Miss Bennet," Darcy answered immediately, unwilling to lose this opportunity to prove himself not entirely incapable of polite conversation, especially in this instance where she would have to own an interest in that which he could communicate. "Your sister was looking very well. I hope she has being enjoying her stay in London."

"I believe she has been appreciating the company of my aunt and uncle very much," Elizabeth answered, surprised that he seemed to want to continue the conversation.

"I can imagine that she would. Mr and Mrs Gardiner are certainly excellent people. I enjoyed making their acquaintance very much."

If she had not read her aunt's letter, such a comment from Mr Darcy would have been too much for Elizabeth to accept. Despite her astonishment, Elizabeth could not help but find it pleasing. It was good he should know that she had some relations, over whom she had no need to blush.

"Yes, they are great favourites with us," Elizabeth replied giving him a small smile. It was hard not to warm to such a topic of discussion, and she did have to admit to a great deal of curiosity about what had happened, particularly at the theatre. She had been expecting to be kept in suspense about this until the next letters from London came through, but now it seemed that some information might be gleaned from Mr Darcy himself.

"Did you enjoy the theatre last night, Mr Darcy? It was very kind of you to include my family in your invitation."

"I enjoyed it very much Miss Bennet. The theatre is always more pleasurable with company, and Bingley certainly enjoyed the wider circle."

"Were not his sisters available for the evening?" Elizabeth could hardly believe his implication.

"I don't believe that we actually thought to canvass their interest," Darcy replied, in a surprisingly straight manner, but there was amusement in his eyes. "Miss Bingley is currently spending a few weeks at the Hurst townhouse."

Elizabeth didn't know how to react to this news. She felt a huge relief knowing that this would give Bingley a reasonable window of opportunity to pursue any interest in Jane, without his sisters' interference. This however, was almost overwhelmed by the impression that Mr Darcy had the same thing in mind when he conveyed this information.

She was left to ponder on the meaning all he'd said after their conversation was interrupted by Lady Catherine, demanding her nephew's attention.

It was not until the meal was completed, and Lady Catherine, Anne, and the Collinses moved to the card table, that an opportunity was given to Darcy to again try to engage Elizabeth on the subject. Colonel Fitzwilliam was sitting by Georgiana at the piano, and Elizabeth had withdrawn herself a little from their company, when Mr Darcy seated himself at her side.

"Mrs Gardiner led me to understand that you like to attend the theatre in London whenever you have the opportunity."

"I own that I do. On the whole I prefer the country, but the convenience of the theatre and concert halls in London are certainly an inducement to sometimes venture forth to town, that and the pleasure of more time with my aunt and uncle of course."
"So you spend a great deal of time with the Gardiners?"

"Jane and I would spend at least a month with them each year, often longer. We do not normally stay there at the same time though, as my father misses us when we are both gone together."

Darcy could well understand that.

"How is you father managing at the moment then?" he asked, and was pleased to see her smile in reply.

"He wrote me last week, which is a sure sign that he is desiring our return."

"And you plan to return in two weeks, at the same time as your sister?"

"Yes, Jane will join us on our return through London," replied Elizabeth, further surprised that he'd noted the period that Jane still had in town.

"So, are you planning any time with the Gardiners this year," he inquired further, hoping this question was not too forward. He was grateful when Elizabeth answered without showing any sign of offence.

"I am to travel with them this summer on a tour they are taking. We are hoping we may make it as far as the lakes."

This information gave Darcy an easy base of interest for further discussion, and they actually talked of travelling for quite some time.

At the time Elizabeth was so caught up in her anticipation of the journey and in her interest in what he could tell, that she forgot for a time her wariness of her companion and found herself truly enjoying this exchange.

It was not until after she had returned to the parsonage and was preparing for bed, that astonishment at the whole of his behaviour that evening set in. When she considered it all, she became thoroughly annoyed at herself for letting down her guard and appreciating his conversation so much. Certainly she was grateful for his interference on behalf of Bingley and Jane, for interference it obviously was. She also felt gratitude at his civility and attention to her aunt and uncle which, given all she knew of him, she would have never before felt remotely possible, but this still didn't change who he essentially was.

The man was an enigma. Why had he now chosen to be open and amiable? It was a lot easier to know how to react to him when he was sullen and aloof. She had never before seen him with such pleasing manners... She realised the unjustness of this thought as soon as it came to her mind. She recalled his attempts at civility and conversation at Netherfield, particularly at the Netherfield ball. She had just been so irked at the man that she had given these attempts little credit. She also recalled the softness of his manners during his first few days at Rosings, before he seemed to return to his conceited reserve again.

Yes, the man was certainly a riddle. No doubt he would back to his real self by the next time they met. Still, little note of uncertainty settled in the back of her mind as she recalled Colonel Fitzwilliam's comment that morning, "it's good to have him behaving more like himself again". She shook her head and dismissed the idea. She would not think on it any more; it was all too confusing.



Part 10

On the following day Elizabeth was disappointed to find that Mr Darcy had lost none of his recent civility. She was not however, totally unprepared for such an eventuality, having determined during a wakeful period during the night that she would return any interest he might show, with nothing more than cold politeness. She would not let down her guard and repeat her mistake of the previous evening.

Her resolution came to nought though, as Mr Darcy happened to introduce the subject of his visit to the theatre again, resulting in Elizabeth's curiosity getting the better of her. Comments on how well Jane looked, on her uncle's insight, and her aunt's taste, were just too much for Elizabeth to overlook and she ended up in a long discussion with him on the meaning and merits of certain plays.

The discovery of how pleasing his manners could be, were succeeded by some others equally mortifying. Though they disagreed more than once regarding the credit of certain plays, she had to acknowledge his opinions were well formed and intelligent, and in spite of her previous certainty that he would never allow ideas that were not his own, she found that his mind could be quite open to other interpretations, providing they were rationally argued and consistent.

Rather than keeping to himself, Darcy was also spending more of his time in the company of the Colonel and Georgiana. This meant that Elizabeth could no longer avoid his company on her visits to Rosings where Georgie's presence made it necessary for Elizabeth to temper her behaviour toward him. What was most troubling to her though, was that it was taking very little resolution to appear polite or interested. She did not want it to be the case, but she was quite enjoying his addition to their small set.

As the week moved on, more than once did Elizabeth in her ramble within the park, unexpectedly meet Mr Darcy. At first she felt all the perverseness of the mischance that should bring him where no one else was brought; and to prevent its ever happening again took care to inform him at first that it was a favourite haunt of hers. - How it could occur a second time therefore was very odd!- Yet it did, and even a third. It seemed like wilful ill-nature, or a voluntary penance, for on these occasions it was not merely a few formal enquiries and an awkward pause and then away, but he actually thought it necessary to turn back and walk with her, and engage her in conversation.

It struck her in the course of their second rencontre that he was asking some odd unconnected questions -- about her pleasure in being at Hunsford, her love of solitary walks, and her opinion of Mr. and Mrs. Collins's happiness; and that in speaking of Rosings, and her not perfectly understanding the house, he seemed to expect that whenever she came into Kent again she would be staying there too. His words seemed to imply it. Could he have Colonel Fitzwilliam in his thoughts? She supposed, if he meant any thing, he must mean an allusion to what might arise in that quarter.

It distressed her a little, as it caused her to wonder if her behaviour toward to the Colonel could really have been so misunderstood as to give rise to such a suspicion. She thought that there was a rather clear understanding that there's was nothing more than a lively friendship between herself and Colonel Fitzwilliam. Still it could not fail to worry her that, if his cousin could assume her conduct implied more than just friendship, the Colonel himself might have misread things too. It would not be the first time that her lively manners had confused someone in regard to her feelings.

The idea that this might cause pain to Georgiana, was a concern indeed. The more time she'd spent with Georgiana, the more protective she felt toward her. Though she had never been told in so many words, Georgiana had let slip enough for Elizabeth to understand that something substantial had caused  her hurt in the past. Someone whom she had trusted had betrayed her in a significant way. It was not only evident in Georgiana's demeanour, but also in her brother and cousins protective and concerned behaviour toward her.

Elizabeth had never pushed Georgiana for more detail, as she could tell that the wound was still too raw for Georgiana to want to share in an overt way. Elizabeth therefore had just tried to build up her confidence and encourage Georgie, and had also sought make her focus more on the positive. It was delightful to watch the young lady emerging from her cocoon, and Elizabeth determined, in so far as it had to do with her, that nothing would occur to make her again retreat.

She ran her mind over recent interactions she'd had with the Colonel and felt, with a relief, that she could discern no sign of preference toward herself in his manner. She smiled as she recalled one or two instances where his focus on Georgiana had made him almost inattentive toward herself. No, she was sure Mr Darcy was wrong. Colonel Fitzwilliam held no designs in her direction.

The discomposure of her thoughts though, made her quite glad to find herself at the gate in the pales opposite the Parsonage, and she bid Mr Darcy farewell in a distracted way, before finding refuge in her rooms.

She could not explain why Mr Darcy's questioning still left her feeling so unsettled. Shouldn't her conviction of Colonel Fitzwilliam's romantic indifference have set her completely at ease? Why did it concern her that Mr Darcy should think his cousin attached to her?

A suggestion then hit her like a bolt of lightening. It might not his suspicion that upset her, but rather his easy acceptance of it? Could she be uneasy at Mr Darcy's apparent unconcern at the idea of her being attached to another man?

No, No, No! The whole notion was violently rejected as soon as it entered her head. She did not like Mr Darcy - she would not like him. Sure, she had come to believe him far less abhorrent than she had first at assumed. She could now accept that, like Georgiana, some of what appeared to be arrogance in him was no more than a natural reserve. It seemed that she had also been wrong in her assumption that he wanted Jane and Bingley kept apart. His recent trip to London had shown her that. The problem was that, no matter how amiable he now appeared to be, his cruel treatment of Wickham could not be explained nor excused.

Her eyes caught her aunt's letter on the bedside table and she immediately recalled her comment on Wickham's claims. 'I can just suppose our knowledge to be incomplete on that ground...'

No, she had to reject such thinking. She had never doubted Wickham's tale before, and nothing had really occurred that should make her start doubting it now. She chided herself over such capricious thinking. If Mr Darcy's civility could effect her reasoning powers in this way, she decided, it would be best to make more of an effort to stay withdrawn from him.

~/~

Darcy watched Elizabeth enter the parsonage and turned to walk to Rosings. His demeanour gave away nothing of the frustration that he was feeling toward himself at that moment. The last few days he had felt that he was making some headway against Elizabeth's disinclination in regard to him. It had been difficult at first, like a diplomatic undertaking in which he risked the loss of her interest at every moment, but he had played the game with subtlety and acumen, and upon her relaxing a little, had been able to slacken his efforts and just present more of himself in his interactions with her.

Though he had given so much of his time to observing her, whether alone or with others, he had spent remarkably little time actually speaking to her himself, so the pleasure he'd received from their recent exchanges was astonishing. To have her eyes upon him with interest written in them, to see her smile or shake her head at something he'd said, or to even hear her respond with her delightfully musical laugh - it gave him a gratification, a fulfilment that he had rarely experienced.

He supposed that this was what led to the error he had made that afternoon; that which had caused him to forget himself, and to approach some topics that may have implied an interest in marriage to her. He could not really explain how his conversation had developed along these lines. It had been an unconscious turn, which had surprised him almost as much as it had surprised Elizabeth. The whole idea of marriage was out of the question anyway, so he was at a loss to really explain what had been going on in his mind when he asked those questions?

If nothing else they might have given Elizabeth a false impression of his intentions toward her, but this was now the least of his concerns. It seemed to him that these questions may have undone some of the progress he had so recently made toward a friendship with her.

She had seemed puzzled to have run across him again on her walk, but had accepted his company happily enough as they began the walk back toward the parsonage. They were part way home when somehow his inappropriate attraction to Elizabeth must have temporarily overcome his good sense, and he'd begun fishing for her opinions on the state of matrimony, and on family relationships.

She seemed not to notice at first, but then some idea of what his words might allude to must have entered her mind, as she quite quickly became uneasy, and her manner noticeably distracted.

No, he needn't have worried about hurting Elizabeth's feelings by exciting unfounded expectations. If her reaction was anything to go by, she clearly still found the idea of marriage to him a rather unattractive prospect.

His frustration itself, was confusing too. He should have been happy that Elizabeth had no unsuitable wishes in regard to their future association. He should have been relieved and thankful for this knowledge, but instead it brought him down.

If nothing else, his experience of that afternoon had taught him one thing - that he needed to rid himself of any fantasies regarding marriage to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. They were impossible fantasies anyway, prohibited both by his position and honour, and by her feelings. He would by no means be rude, but he again needed to pull back from this entrancing woman.

~/~

On the following morning Elizabeth considered postponing her prearranged meeting with Georgiana. She really understood the necessity of putting some space between herself and Mr Darcy if she was to continue to maintain her objectivity toward him. She reminded herself that manners and appearance could be deceiving, and that it was the essentials of character that really made the man. She had to forget his pleasing attention and intelligent conversation; she had to remember what he had done to Wickham.

Deciding that she could not disappoint Georgiana, she left for Rosings only a little after the appointed meeting time. As she had feared, Mr Darcy was also in the room with his sister. She steeled herself to not be affected by his presence, and seated herself beside Georgiana.

Upon Elizabeth's entering the room, Darcy had decided to only stay long enough to make the requisite polite enquiries, then leave the room. His pleasure at looking at her though, kept him in the room a little longer than he intended and a slight remark that Elizabeth made, mainly to Georgiana, caught his attention and made the idea of leaving the room even more difficult.

Elizabeth glanced up, and caught his dark eyes looking at her yet again. She no longer felt there was any disapproval in his gaze, and the remembrance of Charlotte attributing it to admiration brought a flush to her face before she recalled that, only the day previous, he had been hinting at her marrying Colonel Fitzwilliam. She felt a little silly, and gave Mr Darcy a small smile before turning her attention again to Georgiana.

It was the smile that did it. Darcy abandoned any idea he had of leaving the party that morning. Despite two peoples determined wishes to the contrary, the end of the visit found a distinct division in their group. Colonel Fitzwilliam sat beside Georgiana talking to her of his some of his travels, and Elizabeth and Darcy sat in another part of the room disagreeing, this time, over the underlying theme of a certain new novel.



Part 11

When Elizabeth next ran into Darcy whilst on her ramble, she didn't even attempt to project an aloof disinterest. The last couple of times they had met she'd been determined to be no more than coldly polite, but had somehow been unsuccessful in maintaining the distance she desired. It was extremely frustrating, and Elizabeth had unconsciously decided that it was easier not to try at all, than to try and fail. She had a little under a week left in Kent, and she reasoned that it couldn't hurt to be civil to him for such a short period of time; and that's all it was - basic civility.

Darcy had cursed his weakness as he'd again found himself walking toward the grove he knew to be Elizabeth's favourite. He'd avoided taking this walk since he last interrupted her stroll and so obviously made her uncomfortable with his ill-considered questioning, but it was as if the times he had in her company when she visited Rosings were not enough.

He knew that he was placing himself in danger by paying so much attention to Elizabeth; but he argued that enjoying her company for the short period of time he had left in Kent, could do no real damage to his resolution. His reason also chided him for putting off his departure time from Rosings until just before Elizabeth was due to end her stay at the Parsonage. He had justified this delay by saying it was only right that he should make up the time he had lost by going to London, and his Aunt had accepted such an explanation as perfectly reasonable. His sister and cousin were a little more sceptical, but as they were on the whole enjoying their stay, they saw no need to argue.

Elizabeth was sitting on a bench re-perusing the letter she had, only the day before, received from Jane. Jane had not been particularly forthcoming with information about Mr Bingley, her letter being more full of stories of her younger cousins and other acquaintances of the Gardiners, but she had made passing mention of having seen him a couple of times since the night at the theatre, and her whole tone throughout the missive spoke of her being in very good spirits. If Elizabeth wished for more news on Mr Bingley she knew she'd have to wait for another letter from her Aunt, as Jane's experience seemed to have made her even more discreet than usual.

As intent as she was on her sister's correspondence she did not notice Darcy's approach, and jumped as he addressed her.

"I'm sorry Miss Bennet," Mr Darcy apologised, obviously amused at her reaction. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Yes, you look very contrite indeed, Mr Darcy," Elizabeth answered with an arch look. "You could at least make some effort to hide your smile."

"I'm so hurt that you could doubt my sincerity?" Darcy replied, not looking in the least concerned. "I'm sure I was only smiling due to the lovely day."

Elizabeth chose to say nothing, but instead threw him a look which more than adequately expressed her scepticism, then turned her attention to folding her letter and slipping it away.

"You haven't seen my cousin and sister at all this morning? They're out walking somewhere."

"No, I'm sorry but I haven't," replied Elizabeth, denying to herself that she'd felt a pang of disappointment at the thought that he'd not been specifically seeking out her company when he'd walked out that day.

"In that case, would you mind if I joined you?" Darcy inquired, and without waiting for an answer sat himself down next to her on the bench.

It was a move he regretted almost immediately, as the bench was not a long one and he was suddenly acutely aware of Elizabeth's close physical proximity.

"I can see why you enjoy this section of the park Miss Bennet," he commented, strongly feeling the need to dilute the intensity of his situation by the introduction of some neutral conversation. "It's quite a delightful aspect from here."

Elizabeth, feeling only slightly less affected by his presence than he was by hers, managed only a vague assent to his words before lapsing into silence again. His closeness to her seemed to emphasise his fine tall person and noble mien, with the effect that she felt very small beside him. With an effort to overcome this unsettling sensation, sat herself up as erectly as she could and counselled herself to rise above this urge to feel intimidated.

"I think what I like most about this area," she spoke projecting an apparent calmness that belied the discomposure she was feeling inside, "is that it seems little effected by human interference. It appears far more natural than many of the other walks in the park, and one can feel much further away from civilisation than one is in reality."

"So it's the aspect of solitude you seek when you come here," Darcy said, giving her an ironic smile, "and it seems I have again managed to interrupt your privacy."

"It does not follow that the interruption is entirely unwelcome," Elizabeth answered, surprised at the truth of these words even as she gave voice to them.

"It's very nice of you to say so," Darcy answered, unable to shake an apprehension that he was somehow intruding, "but maybe I should take my leave now."

His apprehension however, melted upon hearing Elizabeth's soft laugh.

"It is very gallant of you to offer to leave Sir, but not at all necessary. I had finished my meditations anyway, and was considering returning to civilisation myself. I'm afraid that I'm just suffering from the inertia brought on by sitting too long in the sun and indulging my inactivity."

"It's probably a pass-time we indulge in too little," Darcy replied. "I sometimes believe we become so involved in activity, that we can forget the importance of reflection and contemplation."

"It's sometimes easier though, not to think too much on things," Elizabeth replied with more gravity than she intended. "Sometimes too much consideration does no more than send your mind around in circles."

"I can certainly relate to that feeling," Darcy agreed with a short laugh, causing Elizabeth to look up at him in surprise.

"I would not have thought you inclined to be at all diffident in your opinions."

"In some matters I suppose, I could be described as relatively unbending, but there are others that I'm sure are likely to forever perplex me."

I think some men might forever perplex me, was the thought that ran through Elizabeth's mind, but she didn't give voice to it. This man was certainly an enigma.

Elizabeth shifted a little in her seat, and in the process her thigh brushed momentarily against Darcy's. The sensation created by this slight contact was enough to make Darcy feel that it was time to make a move, and he rose to his feet whilst making some comment on the time.

It may have been innate politeness which made him give his hand to help Elizabeth to her feet, but the instinct of preservation that had just caused him to stand was overwhelmed somewhat by her touch, and it was more than politeness which made him offer his arm as they walked back toward the residences. The thrill he experienced when, for once, he did not receive her customary refusal, was undeniable, and he couldn't help but slow his regular pace in order to relish the feeling of her closeness for just that while longer.

Elizabeth pushed back any thoughts she might have had on her current occupation being a betrayal of her friendship with Wickham, and was just enjoying the stroll and the company. Mr Darcy could be a very charming and interesting companion when he let down his barriers, and there was no denying that he was well informed and intelligent. She soon found herself lost in discussion, and the effect that her pert answers and laughing eyes were having on her partner, completely escaped her notice.

It was to Mr Darcy's credit that he dealt with her interest without losing his powers of concentration and conversation. There was one point in the walk where he was very fortunate indeed, to be able to keep his mind on the topic, as a simple action of Elizabeth's had distracted him significantly. Just for a moment, during a reply to one of his comments, she had unaffectedly placed her free hand on his arm, just above where her other hand rested. It wasn't a possessive clinging action like one of  Miss Bingley's, in fact, he did not believe that Elizabeth had even registered her motion, but it spoke of an ease with him that just over a week ago he would have not have felt possible, and it affected him intensely.

On bidding her farewell at the Parsonage gate, all he could think of was the feel of her touch on his arm, and of seeing her again at Rosings that night.



Part 12

It was sometime during the next few days that Darcy finally accepted that friendship alone with Elizabeth would never be enough, that it had been nothing short of self delusion to think that he could spend so much time in Elizabeth's company, and be satisfied with anything short of marriage to this beautiful, lively, intelligent and engaging woman.

He had come to a point where all his arguments against such a union sounded ill-conceived, arrogant, and even ridiculous. True, there was much left to be desired in the behaviour of her mother and younger sisters, but the girls were young and lacked the direction of a strong mother figure. They still had time to grow and improve. Even his own dear Georgie had made mistakes due to her youth, and it would seem rather hypocritical to make excuses for his own sister while censuring the conduct of Elizabeth's. The mother was another matter, but then, he could hardly represent the behaviour of his own aunt and her daughter as the epitome of good breeding.

In regard to her connections, meeting the Gardiners had taught him much about making assumptions on people based solely upon their social position. His easy conceit that he would be above them in both sense and worth, had been shown to be more than wanting, and it was a matter of shame to him that it had taken twenty eight years for him to look past such prejudices. As to Elizabeth's lack of a substantial dowry, his own wealth made this really quite insignificant.

The more he thought on Elizabeth, the more any reserves he may have had concerning the match diminished. How could they weigh against the strength of his feelings which continued to grow for this vivacious and enchanting woman who, despite his every effort of his over a period of months, had continued to occupy his thoughts, and even his dreams?

She was delight personified, pure unadulterated delight, but it was more than this which made him long for a deeper union. He rationally believed that between them they had the building blocks of a dynamic, satisfying and fulfilling relationship, in which they both would be better for knowing the other. He knew that Elizabeth had already be the catalyst for positive change in his life, and believed that, if given the chance, he had much of benefit that he could share with her. If Elizabeth's talents were so evident, despite her relatively confined existence and limited life experiences, what could she become if given the opportunity to extend herself and blossom. Oh, how he would love to be the one to expose Elizabeth to all the possibilities this life could offer.

It was without a doubt, time to leave uncertainty behind him, and to work toward his goal. He knew what he wanted, nay - what he needed , and as far as he was able, he was going to facilitate the realisation of his hope; he would work to prove himself worthy of her affection and her esteem.

He was wise enough to understand that this may take time, to know that he had to be very aware of her own feelings as well as his own, but he felt he now had time and opportunity open before him. A letter received from Bingley only that morning, had told Darcy of the progress he felt he was making with Miss Bennet, and that he intended to repair for Netherfied only a week after Jane's own return to Hertfordshire. Darcy was sure that his friend would not object to him again joining him in the country, and he was now glad for more than Bingley's sake, that he had taken the right steps to undo his interference in his friends affairs.

Darcy now had only two days left in Kent, and he did not feel he could delay their departure yet again, besides this, there was little reason to stay longer as Elizabeth would be leaving on the day that followed. Therefore he set his mind to the possibilities that would present themselves through Bingley's residence in Hertfordshire and his relationship with Miss Jane Bennet, and he sincerely hoped that Bingley would end up in a marriage as happy as he intended his own to be.

                                                                         ~/~

Elizabeth had not only given up on her own attempts be withdrawn from Mr Darcy, but over the past few days had caught herself, on more than one occasion, actively seeking his attention and company. The closest she had been able to come in justifying such behaviour, was to tell herself that a comfortable report between herself and Mr Darcy would be a benefit to Jane and Mr Bingley's relationship. Her reason may have wanted to protest the weakness of such an excuse, but she would not let it be heard.

While preparing that evening, for yet another engagement at Rosings, Elizabeth found her mind continually turned to him. She was astonished that her stay in Kent had changed her understanding of him so substantially. Whereas before she had seen little resemblance between him and Georgianna, she could now see that he exhibited very much of the same natural reserve that had, at first, caused her to misconstrue Georgie's behaviour. Also, in understanding some of the sister's insecurities in dealing with the world, she had come to see some partial explanation for the brother's wall of distance and cynicism.

It was now quite obvious to her that once you were allowed past Mr Darcy's defences, you were admitted to the privilege of friendship with a man of superior understanding and information, of thoughtful and well considered opinions, of  not inconsiderable powers of conversation and, yes, even charm. That Darcy and Bingley were such close friends no longer puzzled her as it had in Hertfordshire, but she now understood even less of how he could have behaved in such an unprincipled and dishonourable manner as he had toward Mr Wickham. When she found that part of her was conjecturing causes or circumstances that might allow her to put the case down to mistake or misunderstanding rather than maliciousness, she chastised herself for naivety, and laughed that she must have spent too much time with Jane.

Her pragmatism about Wickham though, was not enough to stop her from relaxing into a very agreeable conversation with Mr Darcy and Charlotte that night, and she delighted not only in the respect he afforded herself and her opinions, but in his inclusiveness toward Charlotte. Elizabeth's mind was rather pleasantly engaged when Colonel Fitzwilliam interrupted their exchange.

"Georgianna and I were discussing the stars, and it's such a clear night that we thought it might be the perfect opportunity to walk out and take them in."

There seemed to be general compliance to this idea, until Mrs Jenkins expressed fear for Anne if she were to venture into the night air. Her mother too chose to stay inside, which meant that Mr Collins would also wait, but after Lady Catherine had delivered the requisite lecture on her knowledge of the stars, what they should look for, and from which position they should take in the view, the other five repaired outside.

It was truly a beautiful night, where even the most insignificant star displayed its glory to world and each of the spectators was taken anew by the splendour of creation. Colonel Fitzwilliam drew Georgianna aside to point out certain markers and constellations while the other three sat together on a bench silently taking in the brilliance of the night sky.

"We have not done this for so long Elizabeth," Charlotte eventually sighed. "This recalls to me the many occasions on which we sat out just to look and talk."

"Yes Charlotte, it has been too long since we sought such occupation. Amongst everything which takes our time and attention, we sometimes forget all we have been given for our pleasure if we are just to open our eyes."

Colonel Fitzwilliam's voice drifted across the clear air with some information on navigation by the stars, which caused Charlotte to laugh.

"Do you remember Lizzy, the night we were dining at the Long's home, when you decided it was essential that you should learn how to navigate by the stars?"

"Not particularly Charlotte," replied Elizabeth, a little too distracted by the evening, and also by an acute awareness of the man sitting by her side, to really apply her mind to the circumstance to which Charlotte was alluding. "There were so many occasions when we sought the stars."

"Oh Lizzy, you must remember this time..." Charlotte laughed. "...a young acquaintance of the Long's was visiting, a Naval Lieutenant - and when you expressed an interest in the night sky, he offered to show you the markers by which they find their way."

"Oh no! Did you really have to bring that up," Elizabeth protested. "It was not me he made the offer to, it was us; you and Jane included!"

"Everyone but yourself could see that his willingness to share his knowledge was based on an interest in you alone," Charlotte teased. "You really were a little na?ve."

"I was sixteen!" Elizabeth defended herself. "Do you honestly feel the need to discuss one of the most awkward experiences of my life in front of Mr Darcy. I'm sure he's not at all interested in this tale."

"Quite the contrary," Darcy answered with a smile, fascinated with the idea of a na?ve sixteen year old Elizabeth, and really rather curious about the details of the night. Charlotte's obvious amusement was a clear indication that nothing of a drastic nature took place, and he was somewhat enjoying the novelty of Elizabeth's embarrassment. "Pray... continue."

"Well, the lieutenant, I can't quite recall his name, seemed to have taken what we all knew was Miss Elizabeth Bennet's customary liveliness, as flirtation..."

"Charlotte! Please..."

"...and when she expressed a wish to further her knowledge of the stars I don't think he quite believed his luck, and he enthusiastically agreed to be the agent of such information..."

"Charlotte..."

"The deflated look on his face when he became aware that that Elizabeth accepted his offer as a general one to all in our circle, was something to be seen, and even Jane became suspicious of that which our reputedly perceptive Lizzy, did not."

"I really don't think you need to continue with this..."

"Well, the young man was not one to be put off by a simple obstacle, and once outside attempted a couple of times to separate our Elizabeth from the group, claiming a need to point out different aspects to her, and his frustrations became more evident as he began to realise that Elizabeth was not taking his hints, and that neither Jane nor I were to be shaken."

"Charlotte... I beg you to finish this now.."

"Well... still being determined to carry his point, he did not let the presence of Jane or myself deter his purpose, and he began to court Elizabeth regardless, quoting poetry to her would you believe, and even Elizabeth could not miss this sign."

Darcy was laughing at the picture painted by Charlotte, and becoming increasingly amused at Elizabeth's attempts to turn the conversation.

"Well, I certainly can't fault his taste," Darcy commented to Charlotte, which only caused an increase in Elizabeth's embarrassment.

"Then you obviously didn't hear his choice of poetry," Elizabeth threw at Darcy.

"He was a strikingly handsome young man if I remember correctly," Charlotte continued.

"And incredibly arrogant with it," Elizabeth put in. "He obviously thought that with his looks, he needed to develop no other talents."

"It was truly a most amusing spectacle from this point on Mr Darcy, with Elizabeth politely trying to extract herself from the position she was in, and indicate that she had no real interest in him; as he refused to understand her implication, she became more and more overt in her messages to him. Her quick return to the house made no difference to his wishes, and he followed her every move, taking everything she did and said as some form of encouragement."

"Yes, while you just stood laughing at my predicament," charged Elizabeth, "I'm just glad my father stepped in and rescued me... I went through all that, and never did learn even the rudiments of navigation by the stars."

Darcy wished dearly he could offer to show Elizabeth how this navigation was done, but he was unwilling to have any parallels drawn between him and the young Lieutenant, as his motives would actually be the same. He smiled however, at the thought that his own taste in poetry would probably be better.

"Now that you've manage to bring back all those humiliating memories for me, Charlotte. I don't know if I'll ever again be able to truly enjoy a night sky."

Both Darcy and Charlotte laughed at her exasperated exclamation, causing Elizabeth to further complain about their lack of sympathy, though she really couldn't help laughing with them. It was then that they all registered the sound of Lady Catherine's carriage, and realised that their appreciation of the night sky, and each other's company, was to be cut short.

Mr Darcy offered an arm to both Elizabeth and Mrs Collins, and escorted them through the house to the waiting carriage. While Mrs Collins joined her husband and patiently waited while he made his long goodbyes, Mr Darcy took the opportunity of handing Elizabeth up into her seat. She could not help but register that he held her hand for longer than necessary, then in an action she may have thought was merely gallant, had she not caught the depth of the look in his eyes, he brought her hand to his lips.

There was no time to think on what had just passed before they were joined by the Collinses, and Elizabeth pushed the action aside until she had time to reflect on it in the privacy of her own room.

Elizabeth was ashamed to admit that up until the moment that he kissed her hand, she had been as blind to Mr Darcy's feelings for her, as she had been to the lieutenant's intentions all those years ago. The major difference here being that this time she had feelings in return.

Despite all her efforts to the contrary, she had developed a strong affection toward Mr Darcy. She found that she respected his mind, his opinions and even his ways. She suddenly understood that she had fallen in love with the man, but instead of the joy one might expect to come with such a realisation, or even the confusion, without a doubt her primary emotion was anger. Anger at herself for having fallen for a man who principles were less than those which she had always desired in the man she would love, angry at Wickham for having told her of things she would now be happier not to know, but mostly she was angry at Mr Darcy himself, for having acted in such a dishonourable way and, in doing so, ruining the pleasure she could, at that moment, have been feeling.

Part 13


Elizabeth, being in too much of a turmoil of mind and emotions, slept poorly that night. She awoke the next morning to the same thoughts and meditations which had at length closed her eyes. She could not yet recover from the realisation of her feelings, and her confusion as to how she should act on them; it was impossible to think of any thing else, and, totally indisposed for employment, she resolved soon after breakfast to indulge herself in air and exercise.

She was proceeding directly to her favourite walk, when the recollection of Mr. Darcy's sometimes coming there stopped her, and instead of entering the park, she turned up the lane which led her farther from the turnpike road. The park paling was still the boundary on one side, and she soon passed one of the gates into the ground.

After walking two or three times along that part of the lane, she was sit no closer to coming to terms with her own emotions. The intensity of her anger had somewhat dissipated, but it was still there, mixed with equal portions of confusion and frustration.

The night had been spent swinging between blaming Darcy for his actions, and therefore her dilemma, and searching for excuses and explanations for his behaviour. Though she had been unable to construe his actions as anything but wrong, for the first time she realised that neither was the behaviour of Mr Wickham completely above reproach.

It was not only his misrepresentation of Miss Darcy which bothered her. She perfectly remembered every thing that had passed in conversation between Wickham and herself in their first evening at Mr. Philips's. Many of his expressions were still fresh in her memory,  and she was now struck with the impropriety of such communications to a stranger, wondering it had escaped her before. She saw the indelicacy of putting himself forward as he had done, and the inconsistency of his professions with his conduct. She remembered that he had boasted of having no fear of seeing Mr. Darcy -- that Mr. Darcy might leave the country, but that he should stand his ground; yet he had avoided the Netherfield ball the very next week. She remembered also, that till the Netherfield family had quitted the country, he had told his story to no one but herself; but that after their removal, it had been every where discussed; that he had then no reserves, no scruples in sinking Mr. Darcy's character, though he had assured her that respect for the father would always prevent his exposing the son.

This realisation may have not excused Darcy, but it certainly diluted her sympathy and regard for Mr Wickham. Still, her dilemma over her feelings for Mr Darcy was far from resolved. She had always maintained that she would never make any compromises in the matter of love, and she could never consider attaching herself to a man for whom she could not have complete respect.

She paused in her meditations and was tempted, by the pleasantness of the morning, to stop at the gates and look into the park. The five weeks which she had now passed in Kent had made a great difference in the country, and every day was adding to the verdure of the early trees. The temptation was to much for her and she without really thinking began to walk toward her favourite grove.

She chided herself for her lack of self control as she heard someone else's approach, but instead of being again surprised by Mr. Darcy she saw with relief, on looking up, that Colonel Fitzwilliam was meeting her,

``I did not know before that you ever walked this way,'' she said, forcing herself to attend to him.

``I have been making the tour of the Park,'' he replied, ``as I generally do every year, and intend to close it with a call at the Parsonage. Are you going much farther?''

``No, I should have turned in a moment.''

And accordingly she did turn, and they walked towards the Parsonage together.

``Do you certainly leave Kent on Saturday?'' said she.

``Yes -- if Darcy does not put it off again. But I am at his disposal. He arranges the business just as he pleases.''

``And if not able to please himself in the arrangement, he has at least great pleasure in the power of choice. I do not know any body who seems more to enjoy the power of doing what he likes than Mr. Darcy.''

Elizabeth recognised the injustice of her words as she uttered them, and they made her aware that her anger had not diminished as much as she had supposed.

``He likes to have his own way very well,'' replied Colonel Fitzwilliam. ``But so we all do. It is only that he has better means of having it than many others, But I cannot say that I have minded the extra time we have had here. I have never enjoyed a stay at Rosings as much as I have this one."

"I too have had more pleasure in this trip to Kent than I anticipated," Elizabeth smiled, relaxing a little. I have appreciated the privilege of making your acquaintance, and believe I have found a true friend in Georgiana."

"I hope I'm not being too personal here Miss Bennet, But will you allow me to say how much your friendship has done for our dear Georgiana. Both Darcy and I were beginning to wonder if she was ever going to move past her hurt and self-reproach after last summer. It has made such a difference for her to have someone to talk to, and in whom to confide."

It was obvious to Elizabeth that the Colonel was under the misapprehension that Georgie's confidences had been more specific than they had, in fact, been - but rather than embarrass him by pointing out his error, she moved the conversation onto what she thought would be safer ground.

"I will truly miss the company of Georgie when I return to Hertfordshire. I hope Mr Darcy might consider bringing her with him to Netherfield next time he visits with Mr Bingley."

The Colonel's face darkened a little, and he seemed to become thoughtful before he replied.

"I suppose the regiment will be moving on from Meryton soon. I do not quite know how Darcy controlled himself upon coming face to face with that man again. Only someone with Darcy's over-developed notions of honour and propriety could have maintained such self-control. I believe I might have tried to kill Wickham on the spot. He'd better pray that he never comes under my command!"

The range of emotions that assailed Elizabeth at that moment were almost paralysing, and it was all Elizabeth could do to maintain her countenance. Fortunately however, the Colonel was too caught up in his own feelings to notice Elizabeth's reaction, or to hear the tremor in her voice as she enquired as to where she could find Miss Darcy.

He answered that he had last seen her reading in the summer parlour.

It was a very good thing that Colonel Fitzwilliam was so preoccupied, otherwise he might have considered Elizabeth's hasty departure, without so much as taking leave, as more than strange - and possibly even bordering on rude.



Part 14

As Elizabeth was shown to the summer parlour, she realised how little her reason had come into play in her hasty decision to seek out Georgiana. She had not taken the time to think on the Colonel's words, but had acted impulsively on her overwhelming need to discover the truth. It was now abundantly clear that there was another view point concerning Mr Darcy's and Wickham's common past, and if it could vindicate Mr Darcy in his actions toward that man, it seemed vital to know it.

As she approached the room though, the difficulties associated with her current position suddenly rushed in on her. Georgiana might not be alone, and even if she was she may not want to discuss such matters with her; she might find Elizabeth's enquires hurtful or impertinent, and how was she to introduce such a topic anyway?

A fear that the brother might actually be with Georgiana then settled on her, and she knew that she was not yet prepared to see him. At this point they had just reached the entry to the room, and if the servant hadn't been with Elizabeth she may have considered trying to slip unseen from the house.

Through the haze of her thoughts she was only half aware of the servant announcing her presence, and it was an almost tangible relief that met her upon stepping into the room to find Georgiana sitting there alone.

Georgiana looked up with pleasure.

"Lizzy, I didn't expect to see you until tonight... Lizzy, are you well...?" Elizabeth's pale face and uncharacteristic manner was noted immediately by the sensitive younger girl. "Please sit down."

"I'm sorry Georgie. I am well. I just found it difficult to sleep last night."

Georgianna nodded, but was unable to accept this as a full explanation for Elizabeth's discomposure.

"Was there something concerning you?" she gently inquired. "I find that if my sleep is denied me, that there is usually something particular playing on my mind."

Elizabeth again had the understanding of her new friend confirmed to her, and gave Georgiana a slight smile.

"As a matter of fact there were more than a few contradictions running around in my head. Have you ever found yourself in a position where your instinct and reason are at war?"

"Dear Lizzy, you have no idea of how I can relate to such an image. I'm surprised though at your suffering from such distractions. I've come to truly envy your judgement and understanding of life."

"Oh Georgie, please do not say such things, as you only serve to make me feel my inadequacies even more."

"Lizzy, you have said it to me oft enough over the past month, that none of us is perfect, but that we should learn from life and move on."

Elizabeth had to smile at Georgie using her own words against her. She was right too, she had to move on, but she couldn't do it until she found out the truth about Wickham. To live in ignorance on this subject was impossible; or at least it was impossible not to try for information - so taking her courage in her hands she approached the question she needed to ask.

"Georgie, Colonel Fitzwilliam said something this morning that has made me suspect that I've made a huge error in judgement, and I was hoping it may be in your power to set me right on this matter. Please, if this question is too personal, or too hard to answer, tell me so at once and I will never again mention the matter in your presence."

Georgiana was a little daunted at the seriousness of Elizabeth's tone, but also flattered that Elizabeth obviously considered that their friendship had progressed to a point where Elizabeth felt able to come to her with such a difficulty.

"Please tell me your concern Lizzy - I only hope that it is within my power to make things clearer for you."

"Oh Georgie - thank you, but remember - I will not be offended at all if you tell me that this is no concern of mine."

Georgie just nodded as Elizabeth fidgeted with a curl of her hair, and coloured a little as she tried to think of a way to put her dilemma into words.

"I have been holding to something that I heard against your brother, since before I left Hertfordshire, and I now wonder at the accuracy of the substance of the charge."

Georgiana felt no great shock this revelation; she had suspected that something was not quite right between Elizabeth and her brother since the first night they had all been together at Rosings, but she had never been able to discern quite what it was. She had fished for information a couple of times, but Elizabeth had not been particularly forthcoming.

Therefore, the pleasure she had felt over the last few weeks had not been inconsiderable, as she watched not only her brother, but also Elizabeth, become less wary and begin to enjoy the others company; so she would be gratified if she could be the means of removing any remaining impediments to their friendship. It was now quite clear to her that William had strong feelings toward Elizabeth, and she would do almost anything to facilitate this relationship, which she firmly believed could make her brother as happy as he deserved.

"What was it you heard of him", she gently prompted, "and from whom was it you heard?"

"I was told that he went against all the conventions of honour, and with no reason stronger than jealousy, defied your fathers intentions and failed to honour a bequest of his will."

"George Wickham..." Georgiana spoke in almost a whisper as the colour drained from her face.

Georgie did not know what she had expected, but it had not been this. Maybe Elizabeth's introduction should have prepared her a little, but it had not. She had known that this would concern her brother, but hadn't had any idea that it would touch so much on herself, and her discomposure was obvious and acute.

"I'm sorry Georgie... I shouldn't have brought it up!" Elizabeth chided herself for putting Georgie in this position. "Please, forget that I mentioned it. I will be satisfied in assuming that I was misled - I have no need for detail."

Confusion and distress was easily seen in her young friends eyes, and Elizabeth moved next to her to give Georgie the comfort of her arms. Silence hung in the air for a few moments before Georgiana responded to the spontaneous affection of Lizzy's gesture, and she began to quietly weep. It was hard to explain, but her crying was less a reaction to the pain she had felt over Wickham's callous manipulation of her emotions, than it was an out pouring of feelings that she had kept so bottled up inside her, for which Elizabeth's concern and sympathy had finally provided a release valve.

Elizabeth felt absolutely dreadful, and desperately wished she could undo the last few minutes of her life. She continued to hold Georgiana, murmuring comforts and apologies for being the cause of her distress. It was only the comprehension of Elizabeth's anxiety on her part, that gave Georgiana the strength to compose herself enough to try to tell Elizabeth that she really would like her to know the truth about George Wickham.

A little under half an hour later the story of Ramsgate and Mr Wickham's dealings with Georgiana, had all come out. There was no question that Elizabeth was exceedingly shocked at the revelation of such behaviour from her former favourite, but she had no reason to disbelieve Georgiana's story. There was no doubt that the man was charming, and upon her first association his countenance, voice, and manner had established him in her mind as in the possession of every virtue, but now, when she actually applied herself, she was unable to recollect any instance of goodness, or distinguished trait of integrity or benevolence, that might rescue him from the complete loss of character in her eyes.

The memory of the ease with which he spoke of Georgie as driven by pride, and ungrateful for his early attentions, left her cold. That he could try to use this loving and innocent young woman in such a way, solely for the sake of material gain, and obviously feel no shame or remorse, was unforgivable. That he should feel no duty of honour to her, as the daughter of a generous benefactor, made his behaviour even worse.

"There is one thing that I do not understand Georgie. When you speak of a desire of his to revenge himself on your brother, what was his perceived grievance? There is no truth to his tale about Mr Darcy denying him his inheritance is there?"

"Smatterings of half truths mixed liberally with falsehood." Georgiana explained. "My father did recommend the living for him, but Mr Wickham told William that he was resolved against ever taking orders, and he was given a large amount of pecuniary compensation in lieu of his right to the living."

Elizabeth did not know that she had been holding her breath while waiting for this answer from Georgiana, but she now let it out with a low sigh of relief.

"I wish I had known all this before last summer," Georgiana continued. "I suppose that William saw no reason for me to have my childhood illusions of Mr Wickham shattered. I believe that William had been more than pleased to meet Mr Wickham's monetary desires in exchange for forgoing his patronage in the church. He knew enough of Mr Wickham's propensities to understand that the church was not an appropriate profession for him."

"But Georgie, I still don't understand. If Mr Wickham was given the money he requested, what does he have against your brother?"

"Well, two years ago, when the living became available, Mr Wickham returned and expected it to be given to him. Apparently in just the few years that had passed since my father's death, his life had been one of such extravagance and general profligacy that it had led to an extreme distress of his circumstances. When my brother did not comply with his entreaty in regard to the living, he became very abusive toward him..."

"Oh Georgie," Elizabeth sighed as she sat back in her seat, her eyes closed. "I have been such a fool. I was totally taken in by Mr Wickham's charm."

"Well," Georgiana dryly replied. "It's nice to know I'm in good company."

After the heaviness and emotions of the morning's conversation, Georgiana's surprisingly wry comment struck Elizabeth as rather amusing, and she could not suppress a laugh.

"Can I ask Lizzy, what was it that my cousin said to you about Wickham this morning?"

Elizabeth sifted through the tangle of information and impressions that were now swirling around in her head.

"I can't remember the exact words," she grinned, "but it was something about what he might do to Wickham if he ever found himself in his command."

"Oh really?" Georgiana asked, unable to feel anything but a twinge of delight at the idea of the Colonel's feeling violent toward Wickham.

"I wonder what he might do?" Elizabeth asked, suddenly feeling a little giddy in the relief of what she had learned that morning. "He did look rather dangerous."

Looking back on the occasion , Elizabeth could not remember who began laughing first, but somehow they managed to end up in a giggling mess. Just as they would start to recover, one or other of them would make a conjecture as to what the Colonel may have in mind as a punishment for Wickham, and they would again be gone.

Mr Darcy on returning from a ride, was pleased when was informed by a servant that Georgiana was with Miss Bennet in the summer room. The idea of catching a few moments with Elizabeth was an enticing one, but he paused at the door as he saw the two women he loved, sitting on the couch in close conspiracy, obviously lost in great amusemen to everything around them. He was about to join them when somehow he sensed that it was not the right time to interrupt -  that he should be satisfied with the knowledge that he would see Elizabeth at supper that evening. He took one more look at the women, and shook his head in amazement at their uncharacteristic behaviour, before slipping away from the room with an undeniable smile on his face.



Part 15

That afternoon there was a visible spring in Georgiana's step. The memory of last summer would never be a pleasant one, but it had lost much of it's pain and oppressive weight. It was so liberating to have shared everything with Elizabeth, and in return to have received neither censure nor pity, but understanding. That Elizabeth thought no less of her was the greatest relief, and to know that Elizabeth too, had been taken in by Wickham's charms, had considerably lessened her feelings of guilt and stupidity over the incident.

Elizabeth though, was going through a reverse of Georgiana's relief. Though she had returned to the parsonage in excellent spirits, as the afternoon wore on she began experiencing an increase of self-doubt and self-reproach. Now that Mr Darcy was proved fully worthy of her affection and esteem, she began to question her earlier impression regarding the extent and nature of his feelings toward her. It was odd, last night when she had been confused and unsure as to whether she desired a relationship with this man, she'd had no doubt of his affection for her, but now that she knew for certain that he was just the man she'd always longed to marry, she began to disbelieve that he could really love her. She tried to remind herself of the look in his eyes as he'd, only the night before, kissed her hand, but an insecure little corner of her mind kept suggesting that maybe she had misinterpreted the gesture and his, increasingly more familiar, attentions toward her.

The fact that it had been such an emotional day and night, conspired with her lack of sleep to make it even more difficult for her to cope with her feelings. She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. -- Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think, without feeling that she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.

``How despicably have I acted!'' she chided herself -- ``I, who have prided myself on my discernment! -- I, who have valued myself on my abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity, in useless or blameable distrust. -- How humiliating is this discovery! -- Yet, how just a humiliation! -- Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind. But vanity, not love, has been my folly. -- Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment, I never knew myself.''

She'd meant to be uncommonly clever in taking so decided a dislike to Darcy, without any reason, but now the folly of her attitude and behaviour stood before her as though illuminated.

Her physical and mental exhaustion were taking their toll, and the agitation and tears that the subject occasioned brought on a headache which grew much worse toward the evening. Still, she dressed with extra care for supper at Rosings, not allowing her new found feelings of unworthiness to overwhelm her desire to impress Mr Darcy.

Charlotte, however was growing increasingly concerned for her friend, whom she easily perceived was really unwell, and she urged her to stay at home. Mr Collins could not conceal his apprehension that this might displease Lady Catherine, but Charlotte was firm. Despite Mr Collins's concern in deference to his benefactor's pleasure, and Elizabeth's protest that she truly was fine, Charlotte would not be moved.

Through her nervousness and tiredness, Elizabeth now struggled to discern whether she most wished or feared to see Mr Darcy. The acute insecurities as to what he might think of her rose again to predominance, and she decided to take the coward's way out, and put off meeting him again until the morrow, telling herself that she would cope with things far better after a good nights rest.

Charlotte was truly relieved, for the sake of her friend's health, that Elizabeth did not insist on going, and despite Mr Collins's panic that it may make them late, waited patiently as Elizabeth wrote a quick not to Georgie, apologising for her absence, and promising to visit in the morning.

When they were gone, Elizabeth, as if intending to exasperate herself even further, chose for her employment the examination of all the letters which Jane had written to her since her reintroduction into Mr Bingley's society a few weeks previous. They contained very few overt references to her feelings toward Mr Bingley, but in all, and in almost every line of each, there was a cheerfulness which had been missing during her early days in London. Elizabeth noticed every sentence conveying the idea of ease and happiness, with an attention which it had hardly received on the first perusal. She would always be grateful toward Mr Darcy for this service to his friend and her sister, and she blamed herself for ever having thought that he might have been the means of separating them.

While chiding herself on this point, she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door bell, and her spirits were a little lifted by the idea of its possibly being Georgiana come to enquire after her. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her agitation, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room. In a tender manner he immediately began an enquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She answered him with a nervous embarrassment, feeling both humbled and gratified that he was so concerned.

He sat down for a few moments on a chair facing her, looking at her intently and then getting up, walked about the room before seating himself next to her on the couch. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. She was too full of emotion to know how to speak. After a silence that only served to increased her discomposure, and to make her even more acutely aware of the man at her side, he reached across and took her hand; she made no move to withdraw it.

The sensations created by this simple touch, and by the intensity of the look in his eyes, were greater than Elizabeth had ever experienced in her life and, on top of her exhaustion, they almost threatened to overwhelm her. She had always disdained the typical heroine in a novel who would swoon upon a look or a touch from her hero, but at this moment she could almost be in sympathy with such a girl.

Elizabeth was not the only person surprised by Darcy's action. The man himself was taken completely unawares by his own inability to control his behaviour. He had fully intended to take things slowly and carefully in his courtship of Elizabeth, not risking frightening her off by moving too fast, but the strength of his feelings had caused him to get a little ahead of himself, and for just a moment he knew not how to go on but, though very affected himself, he could not fail to notice that Elizabeth had neither pulled back, nor withdrawn her eyes from his; and he lifted her hand to his lips for a delightfully light kiss before proceeding.

``In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.''



Part 16


Elizabeth's elation at his words might have been almost perfect at this time, had it not been for the guilt that she had been encouraging throughout the whole of the afternoon and evening. As it was, her joy was severely tempered by a sense of unworthiness, which might be somewhat understandable given the self-revelations that she had only lately been dealing with, and also her lack of sleep.

Despite a fleeting idea and wish that he might never learn of her folly, she realised that, not only for her own conscience sake, but also to make sure that this man's eyes were fully opened before he went on, she needed to be honest about the prejudices that she had been harbouring about him, and she forced her self to speak.

"Mr Darcy... there is something I feel I must tell you before you say any more..."

She paused, struggling for the right words, and for a dreadful moment Darcy thought that she was might be on the point of refusing him - of saying that she could not love him, but the realisation that she still allowed him to hold her hand kept him from such despair. Her eyes had left his, and she was looking at the floor, making it obvious that she was finding this quite difficult. Instinctively he softly pressed her hand, as though by doing so he could share some of his strength with her.

"Yes Elizabeth...?" he encouraged gently.

His solicitude, and the gentleness with which he spoke her name, was too much for Elizabeth and tears threatened to come with her confession.

"I need you to know that until only recently I had given credence to a story concerning you,  a story that was told me by Mr Wickham..."

"I know that Elizabeth," Darcy answered with a smile, incredibly relieved that she was presenting no great impediment to his progress.

His free hand came up and lightly brushed away a small tear that had appeared on Elizabeth's cheek. It was a moth's touch, but it affected her incredibly, and sent a little shiver over her whole body.

"You told me yourself, or at least strongly hinted at it.... remember, at the ball at Netherfield - during our dance," he continued, "and I hope you don't mind, but Georgie told me again this afternoon."

"... You don't blame me for it?" she managed.

"How could I blame you... though your belief was ill-founded, formed on mistaken premises, I had never given you any reason to be at all suspicious of Wickham's lies. I cannot recall much of my behaviour in Hertfordshire without a feeling of abhorrence. I was too proud to give an account of myself to anyone."

"Oh do no say that Mr Darcy - indeed you have no improper pride."

Darcy laughed at this.

"Elizabeth, I know that I am far from perfect. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own."

Elizabeth shook her head, denying such an explanation, though less than a month before she would have heartily assented. The last few weeks in Kent had made her almost forget the arrogant man she had known in Hertfordshire; but Darcy continued.

"It is nothing but the truth, sweet Elizabeth, and it has been you who opened my eyes to my true self... You can throw me as many disbelieving looks as you like, but it will not change the facts... If this going to be a night of confessions, I have one of my own, and I hope I can obtain your forgiveness."

Now it was time for Darcy to pause and struggle for the right words.

"I did have a hand in separating Mr Bingley from Jane in November."

It was at this point that Elizabeth did withdraw her hand. It was not a conscious rejection of Darcy, as much as an instinctive reaction to again being reminded of her sister's pain. It only took her moments to remember that Darcy had not held her sins against her, and to recall that he had also been the means of restoring her sister's happiness.

She regretted her impulsive movement straight way; it was not due only to her feeling that it was unjust toward Mr Darcy, but also to the loss she was now experiencing at the absence of his touch. She ached for physical contact with him again, and, had she had the confidence at that moment, she would have reached out to him. As it was, she could not bring herself to make so forward a movement, but she could at least look at him.

For a painfully long moment Darcy waited. He was taken aback by Elizabeth's reaction, but questioned what else he could have expected. While one part of him suggested that he'd gone beyond stupidity for bringing the matter up, another told him that he couldn't begin this relationship with a lie, despite the risk of incurring Elizabeth's anger.

He was startled back into reality by a soft laugh, and looked up to find a beautiful pair of eyes considering him with a slight smile.

"I suddenly don't feel so bad for some of my former opinions about you Mr Darcy, and I feel that I can now salvage a few shreds of pride in my discernment - I'd been so sure you'd had something to do with Mr Bingley's defection. His sister's do not have the position of respect that you hold in his eyes... May I ask why you sought to break them apart?"

"As long as those opinions remain 'former...'," Darcy answered in relief that Elizabeth did not seem as angry as he'd at first thought, "...I will attempt to let you know what was going on in my mind at the time, and please believe me, I now understand the impertinence and arrogance of my interference, and truly regret my actions..."

"...At that ball, while I had the honour of dancing with you, I was first made acquainted, by Sir William Lucas's accidental information, that Bingley's attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage. He spoke of it as a certain event, of which the time alone could be undecided."

Elizabeth inwardly cringed at the memory of that night. Not only had she accused Mr Darcy of callousness toward Wickham, but it seemed as though the rest of her family had made a pact to expose themselves. She coloured at the memory but indicated for him to go on.

"From that moment I observed my friend's behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your sister I also watched. -- Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening's scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. -- I was misled by such error, to inflict pain on her, and your resentment is not unreasonable."

"Nor is your assessment of Jane's feelings Mr Darcy," Elizabeth reluctantly admitted, as she could not help remembering what Charlotte's opinion had always been. "I cannot deny the justice of this description of my sister. Jane's feelings, though fervent, are little displayed, and there is generally a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility."

"Oh thank you for allowing this Elizabeth! I know I was wrong but I shall not scruple to assert that the serenity of your sister's countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily touched."

There were a few moments of awkward silence before Darcy continued.

"I assure you that my friend's attachment to Miss Bennet is sincere, and if I had not been able to convince him of your sister's indifference, nothing could have prevented the marriage. Bingley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependence on my judgement than on his own. -- To convince him, therefore, that he had deceived himself, was no very difficult point. To persuade him against returning into Hertfordshire, when that conviction had been given, was scarcely the work of a moment - at the time I felt that I'd acted rightly, but now I truly blame myself for having done thus much."

"Then what was it that caused you to change your mind - to go to London it seems, with no other purpose than to reunite them?"

"It was you Elizabeth. I was already feeling guilty for deceiving my friend by keeping from him the news of your sister's presence in town," Darcy replied ruefully. "Then one day I over-heard a comment you made to Georgie about your sister, and it began to dawn on me that I might have made a terrible mistake."

"Eaves dropping Mr Darcy?" Elizabeth smiled. "I would have never expected such behaviour from you."

"Believe me Elizabeth, it was not deliberate," Darcy answered, recalling the circumstances that had left him an unwilling listener to the girls' conversation. The recollection of Elizabeth's emphatic rejection of him still had the power to make him feel less than adequate, and he looked for some reassurance in her eyes.

"Well, be it by accident or providence, I'm certainly glad that you over heard us," Elizabeth spoke softly, "and I'm more glad you are the type of man who is willing to admit error, and to take action to redeem the situation"

It occurred to Darcy as Elizabeth spoke these words, though she did not know it, that they were applicable to more that one error, and one situation, and he fervently hoped that he had achieved full redemption in Elizabeth's eyes.

As he looked at her beautiful face he could see the signs of tiredness, and he couldn't help but put his hand up to lightly caress her cheek, again sending that sensation of delight through Elizabeth.

"I hope that I have not stayed too long," he stated in concern. "I had forgotten for a moment that you are feeling ill."

"Not ill sir," she managed a little smile as she tried to overcome the extremity of her awareness of this man at her side. "I am just tired. I did not sleep at all well last night. There were too many thoughts running around in my mind."

"I hope that at least some of them were pleasant thoughts," Darcy answered, resisting the urge to run his fingers down her jaw line, and the desire to trace her enticing lips.

"As a matter of fact Mr Darcy, they were not," Elizabeth told him candidly. "I was too cross for pleasant thoughts."

"At whom was your anger directed?" Darcy asked, fearing he knew what the answer would be.

"At you Mr Darcy," Elizabeth answered with an ironic smile, "for being, I thought then, less that my ideal of perfection... but I was also very angry with myself for..."

Elizabeth drifted off, too embarrassed to complete the sentence out loud.

"Angry at yourself for...?" Darcy asked as his hand again came up, this time to touch the softness of her hair.

Elizabeth took in the expression of tenderness in his features and the question in his eyes which was coupled with a tinge of insecurity, and it was then that she realised she owed him an answer.

"...Angry at myself for having fallen in love with you," she finally admitted.

Had Elizabeth been able to maintain eye contact, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him, but as it was, she heard him release a long sigh of relief.

"Even before learning I had done no wrong to Wickham, you loved me?"

"Yes" she answered in a small voice.

The happiness which this reply produced, was such as he had probably never felt before, and he took some time to savour it before going on.

"Elizabeth, I do love you, and I know that our love will continue to grow in the years that we have ahead... Will you allow me a kiss to seal our engagement?"

"I'm afraid that is something that I cannot allow Mr Darcy," Elizabeth laughed. Her joy now threatening to overflow.

Mr Darcy's disappointment was not long lived though, as Elizabeth continued.

"I know that due to lack of sleep I am not at my intellectual peak... but no matter how I cast my mind back over tonight's conversation, I cannot recall a proposal of any kind."

Darcy grinned as he removed himself from his seat and knelt before her.

Elizabeth looked embarrassed.

"Really Mr Darcy, that is not at all necessary."

"Dearest Elizabeth," Darcy replied with an wicked glint in his eye. "If receiving a kiss is contingent on a proper proposal, I'm not about to risk doing this incorrectly."

"Elizabeth Bennett," he went on, taking her hand in his. "I cannot conceive of a love or a longing greater than that which I feel for you. Will you please put me out of my despair by consenting to be my wife."

"I cannot think of anything that I desire more than to be your wife," Elizabeth answered softly, more moved than she ever thought possible.

"Is that a yes?" Darcy asked teasingly. "I mean, I do want to make sure that this has all been concluded officially."

"Of course it's a yes," Elizabeth laughed.

"Good," answered Darcy, sitting himself back close at Elizabeth's side.

He gently took her chin in his hand, and turned her face to his. Elizabeth shivered again, not only at his touch, but at the love she could read in his eyes. He caressed her cheek as he ran his other hand around to the back of her neck and drew her softly toward him.

The electricity as their lips touched was almost tangible, and what began as tentative and light, soon deepened into something more as they both savoured love's first kiss.

It was Darcy who ended the exchange, gently pulling away from her.

"I think that I should really leave now," he told her huskily, "or I may never go."

Elizabeth just nodded in silent assent, too overwhelmed with all she was thinking and feeling to speak.

She stood with him and they walked silently to the door.

"Goodnight Elizabeth," he said softly as he reached out to touch her face once more. "Sleep well."

"Mr Darcy," Elizabeth answered with that mischievous little smile that Darcy had come to know and love. "If I was unable to sleep last night after a simple kiss on the hand, I'd say I have no chance of any sleep at all tonight... or for many nights to come."

Darcy just laughed before giving her another, deliciously light, kiss, and disappearing into the night.



Part 17

Elizabeth actually did find sleep that night. It was a sleep not only of exhaustion, but also one of deep contentment. She had stirred in the morning, rather later than was her wont, with the rather delightful feeling that something was very right, and it took her a moment to become fully awake to the memory of the events of the previous evening.

She grinned as she lay there and indulged in the delicious remembrance of his words, his touch, and his kisses. How could she have ever imagined that a day which began with such turmoil could end with such joy? Life was perfect... life was more than perfect... life was exactly as it should be!

Charlotte was a little concerned on Elizabeth's sleeping so late, that she might still be unwell, but was reassured by her appearance at breakfast, looking both refreshed and cheerful.

She commented that the rest of last night must have been just what Elizabeth needed.

Mr Collins though, still put out by his cousin's non-attendance at supper, did not concur with his wife's assessment.

"It all turned out very poorly," he mumbled. "There was not enough to make up two full tables for cards, which I'm sure made things very inconvenient for Lady Catherine as hostess."

"Mr Collins, be fair! - Elizabeth's attendance made no difference to cards one way or the other," Charlotte remonstrated. "The fact that Mr Darcy was shut up in his room attending to matters of business for a large part of the evening, meant that a second table could have not been made up anyway."

Elizabeth suddenly felt extremely self-conscious, but neither her blush, nor her quick turning the subject, awakened any suspicion of the truth.

After breakfast Charlotte informed Elizabeth that she had some things to take care of in the village that morning.

"Miss Elizabeth," Mr Collins chimed into the conversation. "I would strongly recommend you take the opportunity this will afford you, to visit Rosings to make some kind of amends for your absence last night, and also to say the appropriate farewells to her visitors. They have shown great condescension in their attentions to you during the last month, and are deserving of your thanks."

Elizabeth could hardly help laughing at so convenient a proposal, and assented to it immediately.

Consequently Elizabeth spent the next hour at the great house with Georgiana, Anne, and Lady Catherine. As was always the case when Lady Catherine chose to join their company, the girls were able to speak but little. Elizabeth and Georgiana though, did manage to have enough conversation to promise to write very regularly, and even to visit each other.

It was quite clear to Elizabeth that her brother had not yet informed his little sister of the engagement. In a way she was relieved by Lady Catherine's presence, as she knew it was Darcy's place to share the news with Georgie, and did not quite trust that she would have been up to keeping everything to herself had they been alone.

As it was, the greatest difficulty proved to be keeping her mind on what was going on around her, because her thoughts were more with another, and on wondering when he might appear.

Her eyes were turned to the door more often than she was aware, but all her watchfulness came to naught, as the only addition to their party was Colonel Fitzwilliam. He was genuinely pleased to see Elizabeth looking so well, and commented to this effect, before joining Georgianna on the couch.

"Have you seen my brother since breakfast?" Georgiana asked of him. "I don't know if he's aware that Elizabeth is with us."

"He told me he intended to take in some exercise this morning," the Colonel replied. "He walked out not very long before Miss Bennet arrived."

Elizabeth's visit did not continue long after the question and answer above mentioned, as she soon made her goodbyes and walked out to the park herself.

Her instinct proved right, as she had not spent long on her favourite path when she heard, from behind her, the voice for which she'd been waiting.

"I have been walking in this grove some time in the hope of meeting you."

"And I Sir, have been loitering at your Aunt's home in the hope of meeting you." She smiled up at him as she turned and caught his eye.

The smile Darcy gave Elizabeth in return was enough to make her joy over flow, and she willingly gave him the hand for which he reached.

"Last night my mind was not in a state to think of practicalities such as arranging a place and time to meet today ," he apologised. "It did occur to me just now that you might be at Rosings, but I'm afraid I didn't really want to see you in company. I'm not yet willing to share you with others; I'd much rather have you to myself."

Elizabeth coloured slightly at his words, but concurred whole-heartedly with the sentiment. This was certainly preferable to the sitting room at Rosings, where even the addition of one other person would seem like a crowd.

They wandered on hand in hand, not attending to their surroundings as they just savoured the touch and closeness of the other, and the joy that came with the knowledge that they both loved, and were loved.

They spoke to each other in soft tones, sharing thoughts and feelings which only made the other ever more valuable. Though Darcy was not of a disposition in which happiness overflows in mirth, Elizabeth could not repress her joy and often her light and delightful laugh would rise to the surface, enchanting Darcy even more, and causing him to further bless his good fortune in obtaining the love of such a woman.

They came to the bench where they had been seated only a few weeks earlier, fighting their inclinations toward the other, but this time there was no such impediment and restraint in their communication, and they sat close together and talked of many things.

Elizabeth's spirits soon rising to playfulness, wanted Mr. Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in love with her.

"How could you begin?'' said she. "I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning; but what could set you off in the first place?''

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.''

"My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners -- my behaviour to you was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. Now be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?''

"For the liveliness of your mind, I did.''

"You may as well call it impertinence at once. It was very little less. The fact is, that you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking, and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused, and interested you, because I was so unlike them. Had you not been really amiable, you would have hated me for it; but in spite of the pains you took to disguise yourself, your feelings were always noble and just; and in your heart, you thoroughly despised the persons who so assiduously courted you. There -- I have saved you the trouble of accounting for it; and really, all things considered, I begin to think it perfectly reasonable. To be sure, you knew no actual good of me -- but nobody thinks of that when they fall in love.''

"Was there no good in your affectionate behaviour to Jane while she was ill at Netherfield and in your interest, friendship and encouragement of Georgie during these last weeks?''

"Dearest Jane! who could have done less for her? And Georgie is simply a delight, the time I have spent with her is my privilege. But make virtues of these by all means. My good qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible."

Darcy laughed at this, before replying.

"You do not know what your attentions have meant to Georgie."

"She has become a dear friend," Elizabeth honestly answered.

"She told me yesterday that she loved your friendship, but wished it could be more; she wished you could be a sister."

"My goodness!" Elizabeth laughed. "She's becoming bold in her scheming. So this was what your proposal was all about. Pleasing your little sister?"

Darcy exclaimed against such a suggestion.

"Certainly not! As glad as I am that our engagement will give Georgie happiness, I'm afraid I was thinking only of myself... I would marry you even in the face of opposition from all my family."

"Speaking of which," Elizabeth asked with a slight smile, "Shall you ever have courage to announce to Lady Catherine what is to befall her?''

"I've thought on this," answered Darcy, unable to keep a wry smile from his own face, "and have decided that it would not be appropriate to tell her of our engagement until I have formally received your father's consent. I will inform her by letter from Hertfordshire."

"Excellent thinking Mr Darcy," Elizabeth laughed. "I can now add wisdom and discretion to your list of merits."

"I'd have thought they would already be close to the top of your list," Darcy answered in mock disappointment, "and please will you call me William. I'm afraid Mr Darcy seems far to formal for times such as these."

"I'd be delighted to William," Elizabeth replied, testing out the sound of his name on her tongue, and liking it. "Are you going to keep the news from Georgianna until then? I fear I will not be able to keep it from Jane once I see her."

"No, if you don't mind, I think I will tell Georgie and Fitz as soon as the carriage rolls out of the sight of Rosings."

"I don't mind in the least," Elizabeth answered, pleased that he wanted others to know of their happiness. "I'm sure they will share our joy. I fear though, that I may shock Jane with my communication. My sentiments have gone through so material a change since arriving in Kent, that she may think me joking."

"How do you think your father will react to my approach?" Darcy asked seriously. "Do you fear any opposition?"

Elizabeth thought on his question, and earnestly wished her former opinions had been more reasonable, or at least her expressions of them more moderate.

"No," she answered. "I do not fear any opposition, but I will try to prepare him for the news. I would hate to see him made unhappy or distressed by my choice."

Darcy was again struck by the fact that his money and position did not gain him automatic approval from the Bennets. It was humbling and refreshing at the same time, to know that Elizabeth had come to love him personally, and not his status and wealth.

"I am sorry," he said, "that my arrogant behaviour in Hertfordshire has put you in this position."

"William, let us not quarrel for the greater share of blame in regard to my family's understanding of you. The conduct of neither, if strictly examined, will be irreproachable. If I hadn't been so gullible in regard to Wickham's lies, my father might have a whole different perspective on you."

Elizabeth had come back to earth quite suddenly at the thought of her manipulation at the hands of Wickham, and an involuntary shudder went though her body.

"Are you feeling well Elizabeth?" Darcy asked in concern, immediately sensing the change in Elizabeth's mood.

"I'm fine William," she answered, forcing a smile, "It just occurred to me that which I might have lost through my mistaken prejudice toward you. It's frightening to think that if my eyes had still been closed to the truth when you proposed, I might have refused you, and you would have been lost to me forever."

Darcy too felt all the horror of such a scenario, and took Elizabeth into his arms to comfort and reassure her. He did not really want to think on what might have been had he not been made aware of his own deficiency in Elizabeth's eyes. The idea that he might have forever ruined his chances with her, was inexpressibly painful.

He pulled her even tighter to him and murmured words of reassurance and love, causing in Elizabeth such an overload of emotions as she had never felt before, so much so that she wondered at the increase of feelings, which she had already thought must have reached their apex. Love was proving to be so much more dynamic than she had ever imagined, even in her wildest dreams. She wanted to be married to this man so much, and she wanted to be married very soon.

"When will you come to see my father?" she asked pulling back, suddenly recalling Darcy's mind from where it had wandered.

"Coincidentally enough, Bingley is planning a stay at Netherfield with in a week of Jane's and your return to Longbourn
and I think I might keep him company."

"Oh! Jane is sly!" Elizabeth grinned. "She said not a word in her letters. This will work out very well. Though I begin to think that almost a week without you is far too long indeed! I will be extremely disappointed if you do not contrive some means of visiting me whilst I am at my Aunt and Uncle's on the way home."

"I would be extremely disappointed in myself if I could not contrive a reason for such a visit," Darcy smiled at her in response. "I think I can give assurance of seeing you whilst in London."

"Thank you William, I shall look forward to it." Elizabeth laughed as she examined her watch. "Oh no! I believe that if I do not get back for lunch, Charlotte will be sending out a search party for me!"

William too looked at his watch, and exclaimed at the lateness of the hour. His time with Elizabeth had not seemed near long enough.

"I fear that my Aunt is going to be rather displeased with me," Darcy stated, not looking at all contrite. "but If I am going to be deprived of your presence for the next two days, may I take with me a quick kiss to tide me over?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Elizabeth smiled cheekily, and she shivered with delight as he slid his hand up her back, and brought it to rest between her shoulder blades as he drew her toward him for the kiss for which they had both been yearning all morning.

Darcy may have intended the kiss to be light and decorous; he may have thought he would make it back to the meal just in time, but once their lips touched, thoughts of Lady Catherine and her table somehow became an even lower priority, and Darcy really felt very little remorse as he walked into his Aunt's dining parlour, almost half an hour late for lunch.



Epilogue

The congratulations that Darcy received upon informing Georiana and Colonel Fitzwilliam of his good fortune, were both sincere and joyful. They could not have wished anything more for their loved and esteemed brother and cousin, and Georgie was almost as happy for herself in her acquisition of a sister, as she was for her brother in his choice of a wife.

Although he was secure in the knowledge of Elizabeth's love for him, being separated from her, even for such a short time, caused an acute emptiness in Darcy, and he determined that as soon as he reached London he would try to talk Bingley into going down to Netherfield even earlier than he'd intended. Given all that his friend had written to him of Jane in his recent letters, he didn't think that Charles would take too much persuading.

On Elizabeth's arrival in London only two days later, she was barely able to keep her news to herself until she managed to find some time alone with Jane. As she'd anticipated, Jane was a little confused at first, but it didn't take more than a few minutes to convince her that Darcy was truly the object of her choice and affection, and to receive in return, not only her heartfelt congratulations and joy, but also news of Jane's own engagement.

True to his word, Darcy was able to contrive reasons to visit the Gardiners with Bingley on both days Elizabeth was in London, and by the time the Gardiners saw their nieces off, they were happily anticipating, not one - but two, announcements of impending nuptials, and they rejoiced in the confidence that each of the men and women involved were deserving of the others' love and respect.

As Darcy had been easily successful in convincing Bingley to return to Netherfield almost immediately, Elizabeth had little time to prepare her father for the news. Her even higher than usual spirits however, and her constant mentions of her friends from Kent, made him suspicious of her feelings, though he at first assumed that the object of her affection must have been Colonel Fitzwilliam, because he knew that Darcy was a proud and unpleasant sort of man.

The arrival though, of Bingley and Darcy on the the Bennet doorstep, only a couple of days after his daughters' return, and Elizabeth's obvious joy in seeing Bingley's friend, made him quickly reassess his assumption. Given this, he was not taken completely by surprise on receiving the petitions of both young men that very evening.

Elizabeth had the satisfaction of seeing her father taking pains to get acquainted with Darcy as well as Bingley, and was happy in the assurance that her father became not only reconciled to, but relieved and pleased with her choice.

Mrs Bennet's reaction to the news of her two daughters engagements was somewhat more extreme, and her squeals of excitement and delight were such that she managed to strain her vocal chords, and the next day was unable to speak in anything above a whisper. Being of a disposition which made her unable to take the advice of the doctor to rest her voice completely, especially when there was such news to be shared, she continued to spread the news with all the volume she could muster, and in doing so did herself permanent damage, leaving her forever unable to speak in anything but the softest voice.

An interesting aside to this outcome, and one that particularly amused her husband, was that amongst that part of society which is unable to look past appearances to substance, amongst those who could see only Mrs Bennet's good looks and hear her soft voice, she gained a strong reputation for elegance and discretion.

The only person of the Bennet household truly upset by her sisters' news was Lydia, as her required attendance at the wedding put a hole in a scheme to visit Brighton with her dear friend Mrs Forster. She cried out at the injustice, and pouted and sulked, but without even the support of her mother, her case had no hope at all.

It all worked out rather well for Lydia in the long run though, for at the wedding she met a certain Mr Higgingbottom, an obscenely rich and very silly young widower to whom Caroline, after having seen all her attentions to Darcy as futile, had transferred her hopes, and whom she had convinced her brother to invite to the wedding.

Mr Higgingbottom was immediately taken by Lydia's energy and vivacity (not to mention her full and inviting figure) and being too stupid himself to recognise her deficiencies, had proposed within the month. The world may not truly appreciate its good fortune in that Mr and Mrs Higgingbottom were never able to have children of their own. Mr Higgingbottom was not at all concerned, as he already had an heir by his first wife - a little boy who was now being loved and cared for by doting maternal grandparents - and this left him and his lovely young wife free to indulge in, and enjoy, all the superficial frivolities that the world had to offer them.

Lydia was not the only of the Bennet girls to have had her summer plans disturbed by the wedding: as Elizabeth was no longer able to take the northern trip with her Aunt and Uncle, Mary was invited to join them.

On her return from such an enjoyable trip, relaxed, tanned, and feeling generally good about herself after the encouragement and superior company  of the Gardiners, Mary caught the eye of her Uncle Phillip's clerk, for whom she had secretly harboured strong feelings for some time, and was married not long after Lydia. The happiness of such a settlement brought an animation to her face and such a boost to her spirits, as forever put an end to there being any talk of a plain Bennet girl.

This left Kitty, the only single of the Bennet women, able to spend much of her time with her older two sisters, whose careful attention and instruction worked wonders on the younger girl. She became a much sought after prize in her own right, but turned down more eligible suitors in order to marry a superior young curate, whom she truly and rationally loved. With Mr Darcy's patronage he was able to rise very high in his profession, but no higher than he rightly deserved.

Oddly enough, nothing was seen of Wickham by those at Longbourn after Elizabeth's engagement was announced, and it was later learned, through some of Kitty and Lydia's contacts within the regiment, that he had taken flight from Brighton in order to avoid some debts of honour which  he was unable to meet. What they never learned was that, in his subsequent scheming to marry into money, he had passed himself off as a man of fortune and had been able to secure the hand of an older, but beautiful, Lady Susan Vernon. It was only after the marriage that he learned that she too had no money of her own, and had been, in fact, passing herself off as rich with the same purpose in mind.

Colonel Fitzwilliam frequently came to stay with his friends at Pemberley, until he was called away by duty to do his service against Napoleon. During his time abroad his most faithful and cherished correspondent was Georgiana, whom he dearly missed.

When he returned from his service, made rich by his rewards, he wasted no time in paying his addresses to Georgiana, by whom he was most joyously and gratefully accepted.

This development, though warmly approved and accepted by Darcy, took him completely as from out of the blue, but on informing Elizabeth of the engagement he found her delighted, but not in the least surprised.

The Darcy marriage was everything they had hoped it could be. It was not only one of passion and joy, but one in which each enhanced the other. It was a relationship in which they both chose to grow together, to face any trials as a couple, to share, to encourage and to laugh. It was a union which was dynamic rather than dramatic, rational as well as romantic, and one in which neither took their fortune in finding the other, nor their true happiness, for granted.

The end..... ( oh, just in case you missed it, they all lived happily ever after.)

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