A Very Short Cut
By Cristi
Posted on Wednesday, 28-Oct-98
The Netherfield Ball. Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth are dancing.
At length Darcy spoke, and in a constrained manner said, "Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends - whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain."
"He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship," replied Elizabeth with emphasis, "and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life."
Darcy made no answer, and seemed desirous of changing the subject. At that moment, Sir William Lucas appeared close to them, meaning to pass through the set to the other side of the room; but on perceiving Mr. Darcy he stopped with a bow of superior courtesy, to compliment him on his dancing and his partner.
"I have been most highly gratified indeed, my dear Sir. Such very superior dancing is not often seen. It is evident that you belong to the first circles. Allow me to say, however, that your fair partner does not disgrace you, and that I must hope to have this pleasure often repeated, especially when a certain desirable event, my dear Miss Eliza (glancing at her sister and Bingley), shall take place. What congratulations will then flow in! I appeal to Mr. Darcy: -- but let me not interrupt you, Sir. -- You will not thank me for detaining you from the bewitching converse of that young lady, whose bright eyes are also upbraiding me."
The latter part of this address was scarcely heard by Darcy; but Sir William's allusion to his friend seemed to strike him forcibly, and his eyes were directed with a very serious expression towards Bingley and Jane, who were dancing together. Recovering himself, however, shortly, he turned to his partner, and said, "Sir William's interruption has made me forget what we were talking of."
"I do not think we were speaking at all. Sir William could not have interrupted any two people in the room who had less to say for themselves. -- We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine."
"What think you of books?" said he, smiling.
"Books -- Oh! No. -- I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings."
"I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. - We may compare our different opinions."
"No -- I cannot talk of books in a ball-room; my head is always full of something else."
"The present always occupies you in such scenes -- does it?" said he, with a look of doubt.
"Yes, always,'' she replied, without knowing what she said, for her thoughts had wandered far from the subject, as soon afterwards appeared by her suddenly exclaiming, "I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created."
"I am," said he, with a firm voice.
"And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?"
"I hope not."
"It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first."
"May I ask to what these questions tend?"
"Merely to the illustration of your character,'' said she, endeavoring to shake off her gravity. "I am trying to make it out.''
"And what is your success?"
She shook her head. "I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly."
"I can readily believe," answered he gravely, "that report may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either."
"But if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity."
Darcy thought a moment before he responded. "I would never want to disappoint a lady," said he. The dance came to an end and Darcy offered Lizzy his hand to escort her away from the floor.
"Miss Bennet, if you are truly interested in my character, perhaps you would like to adjourn to somewhere less crowded where I may answer your questions more candidly."
Lizzy was taken aback. She had only meant to get a rise out of Darcy. She never would have suspected that he would want to talk with her. At first, she thought to refuse him. It was not completely proper for a gentleman and lady not engaged to speak privately. However, she looked at him and in his eyes she saw a spark of something, she was not sure what.
"Of course, Mr. Darcy. I would be happy to continue our conversation. Where would you suggest we sit?"
"I believe Mr. Bingley has lit a fire in the library. Would that be comfortable?"
"Yes, it would. Do you think it would be proper for us to be seen leaving the room together," said Lizzy with a pointed look towards Caroline Bingley.
"You are most observant, Miss Bennet. Shall we meet there in ten minutes?"
"Thank you, yes."
He bowed and moved away. Lizzie's thoughts were in an uproar. Not only had she agreed to meet a man secretly, but the man was Mr. Darcy!! She tried to calm her thoughts (and her heart beating) by walking slowly around the room, careful to avoid anyone who might try to engage her in conversation.
At the appointed time, Lizzy entered the library. Mr. Darcy was not there yet, so she entertained herself by looking over the many fine volumes.
After a few minutes, Mr. Darcy entered the room.
"Please forgive my tardiness, Miss Bennet. I was detained by Mr. Bingley's sisters."
Lizzy thought she detected a slight roll of his eyes when he mentioned Caroline and Louisa.
"Not to worry, Mr. Darcy. I have been examining Mr. Bingley's collection of books."
He motioned for her to take a seat by the fire, then he sat in the chair opposite.
"Miss Bennet, I hope you will forgive the freedom with which I speak. Of what Mr. Wickham has particularly accused me, I am ignorant; but of the truth of what I shall relate, I can summon more than one witness of undoubted veracity. Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates; and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his god-son, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge; -- most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman's education. My father was not only fond of this young man's society, whose manners were always engaging; he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities -- the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which my father could not have."
Here he paused and looked at Lizzie. Her face showed deep interest but she said nothing. He continued,
"Whatever may be the sentiments which Mr. Wickham has created, a suspicion of their nature shall not prevent me from unfolding his real character. It adds even another motive. My excellent father died about five years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last so steady, that in his will he particularly recommended it to me to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow, and, if he took orders, desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became vacant. There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long survive mine, and within half a year from these events Mr. Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the preferment by which he could not be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying the law, and I must be aware that the interest of one thousand pounds would be a very insufficient support therein. I rather wished than believed him to be sincere; but, at any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. I knew that Mr. Wickham ought not to be a clergyman. The business was therefore soon settled. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church, were it possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between us seemed now dissolved. I thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley, or admit his society in town. In town, I believe, he chiefly lived, but his studying the law was a mere pretence, and being now free from all restraint, his life was a life of idleness and dissipation. For about three years, I heard little of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the living, which had been designed for him, he applied to me again by letter for the presentation. His circumstances, he assured me, and I had no difficulty in believing it, were exceedingly bad. He had found the law a most unprofitable study, and was now absolutely resolved on being ordained, if I would present him to the living in question -- of which he trusted there could be little doubt, as he was well assured that I had no other person to provide for, and I could not have forgotten my revered father's intentions. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances --and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others, as in his reproaches to myself. After this period, every appearance of acquaintance was dropped. How he lived, I know not. But last summer he was again most painfully obtruded on my notice."
Darcy stood up, took a turn around the room, then returned to the hearth. He leaned against the mantle and stared into the fire.
"Mr. Darcy," said Lizzy softly, "if you would rather not tell me this..."
"No, you will hear the entire truth." He sat back down. "Miss Bennet, I must now mention a circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and which no obligation less than the present should induce me to unfold to any human being. Having said thus much, I feel no doubt of your secrecy."
"Mr. Darcy, you may be assured. I will never repeat a thing."
"Thank you." He resumed speaking, but instead of looking at Lizzie, he spoke into the fire. "My sister, who is more than ten years my junior, was left to the guardianship of my mother's nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and myself. About a year ago, she was taken from school, and an establishment formed for her in London; and last summer she went with the lady who presided over it, to Ramsgate; and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived; and by her connivance and aid he so far recommended himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in love, and to consent to an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse; and after stating her imprudence, I am happy to add that I owed the knowledge of it to herself. I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement; and then Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father, acknowledged the whole to me. You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Regard for my sister's credit and feelings prevented any public exposure, but I wrote to Mr. Wickham, who left the place immediately, and Mrs. Younge was of course removed from her charge. Mr. Wickham's chief object was unquestionably my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds; but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been complete indeed."
Here he stopped and waited for Lizzie to comprehend what he had said.
She stood, walked a few paces then turned, and spoke. "Mr. Darcy, why did you tell me all of this? From your first acquaintance with Meryton, it has appeared that you did not wish to discourage the poor opinion most people have of you."
He smiled. "You are not most people, Miss Bennet."
Was that actually a compliment? she thought. She colored slightly. With that smile on his face, he looked very handsome. "No, I am not," said she.
"You may think me impertinent," he said, "but knowing Mr. Wickham as I do, I could not allow you to be drawn in to his web of deception. I know how he operates. He finds a beautiful woman and, forgive me, seduces her. He then leaves her a shattered wreck and moves on to his next conquest."
"But why just me, why not tell everyone of his actions. Of course, you could leave out the part concerning your sister. Would not it be better for everyone to know his true character."
Darcy looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Considering my reputation in Meryton, do you think anyone would believe me over Wickham?
Lizzie blushed as she remembered the things she had said to others about him. "I see your point, Mr. Darcy."
"Miss Bennet, if I thought that you believed me, it would make me very happy."
"I do believe you, sir, but I fail to see how my opinion could matter to you."
He stood and moved to stand in front of her. "Your good opinion is rarely bestowed and therefore more worth the earning."
She blushed again, "Thank you."
They stood for a few moments in silence. They both wanted to speak but neither knew what to say. A thought then occurred to Darcy.
"Miss Bennet, as I have been completely open with you, I wonder if I might ask you a question."
"Mr. Darcy, you may ask me anything. I will answer as truthfully as I know how."
"From the way that Sir William spoke while we were dancing, I gather that the general populace of Meryton is expecting an announcement of betrothal between Mr. Bingley and your sister Jane."
Lizzie blushed deeply. "Mr. Darcy, I am truly sorry that you have been exposed to such comments. I know how mortifying they are."
He waved her off and asked again, "Does everyone expect Mr. Bingley to marry Miss Jane?"
She sighed deeply, "Yes. Unfortunately, my mother has made it her life's work to marry off her daughters. She has made no secret of her expectations from Mr. Bingley."
"Forgive my impertinence, but how does your sister feel about this?"
"She is as embarrassed by my mother as I am."
"No, I mean how does she feel about the expected engagement."
Lizzie raised her head and looked Mr. Darcy directly in the eyes. "Mr. Darcy, I know my sister better than anyone. I can tell you that she cares for Mr. Bingley very deeply. She is well on her way to being in love with him."
He nodded and smiled. "I had hoped as much." When he saw Lizzie's surprise, he continued. "Miss Bennet, you must understand that Mr. Bingley is constantly besieged by mothers with unmarried daughters. Most of them look only at his money."
"Do you mean to say that you thought that Jane was only after Mr. Bingley for his money," Lizzie said with fire in her voice.
"Please, Miss Bennet, I did not mean to suggest that your sister is a fortune hunter. I am only telling you what has happened in the past. Mr. Bingley is easily flattered and therefore an easy mark. And your sister does not show her emotions easily." Seeing the anger on Lizzie's face, he continued. "But your enlightenment has eased my concern greatly." He gave a small laugh. "I must tell you that I have never seen Charles as he is now. He is quite lost. I have spoken to him several times only to receive no answer."
Lizzie smiled again, "I understand completely. I can not tell you how many times I have had to repeat things to Jane."
Darcy's expression turned grave, "Please warn Miss Bennet that Charles' sisters are not to be trusted. They may talk pleasantly to Jane, but they are not in favor of the match. They feel that Jane is…"
"…unworthy," finished Lizzie.
He nodded silently.
"Do not worry. Jane may be somewhat taken in by Mr. Bingley's sisters, but I am not. I will make sure that she sees them for what they are."
"I am sure you will," he replied with a smile.
Again, silence settled on the pair.
"Miss Bennet, I hope you will again forgive the freedom with which I speak to you, but I must tell you how very beautiful you look this evening."
"Thank you, Mr. Darcy." She paused and then looked up at him. "And may I say that you look very handsome."
He smiled again and Lizzie thought her heart would burst. "Miss Bennet," he said quietly as he took her hand, "while my courage is built up, I must tell you that I have come to respect and admire you greatly."
Lizzie did not realize that she had been holding her breath for so long. Her emotions had been in turmoil ever since she had entered the room. From anger about Mr. Wickham, to pity for Darcy's suffering over Georgiana, to warmth at his concern for his friend, to surprise and amazement at what she now heard.
She took a step back and he, thinking he had offended her, released her hand. "Mr. Darcy, in the last hour my feelings towards you have undergone quite a change." She walked about the room for a few moments.
Darcy started to think that he had made a gross error of judgment. He had thought that she was beginning to warm to him and that there was a spark between them. Now he was not sure.
She turned to face him. "I must tell you that I have always thought you handsome and intelligent." Here they both blushed slightly. "However, after hearing all that you have said, I must say that to handsome and intelligent I must add caring and amiable and I would not be ashamed to call you my friend." She smiled widely.
He walked to stand directly in front of her and took both her hands in his. "Miss Bennet…Elizabeth is there any possibility that some day you might want to call me something other than friend?"
He was standing so near to her that she could hardly breath, but she could look into his deep brown eyes and see all the passion they held. "Yes," she whispered, "oh, yes."
The flood of emotion that poured over them was more than either had ever experienced before. Darcy slowly lowered his lips to hers. It was a brief kiss, but one full of love. He then pulled her into his arms. She responded by snuggling in close to him.
"Elizabeth," he said after some time.
"Yes, Mr. Darcy" she replied.
He laughed so heartily that he had to let go of her.
"What is so funny," she demanded.
"I am sorry but to hear you speak so formally while you are wrapped in my embrace is quite comical."
Lizzie realized what she had said and began to laugh as well. She then stopped suddenly, "But I do not know what else to call you."
He took her in his arms again. "My first name is Fitzwilliam but I have always thought that too formal. My sister calls me William. Will that suit?"
She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "William. Yes, I think that will do very nicely."
They were standing locked in an embrace when they heard voices in the hall. Suddenly they realized how long they had been gone from the ball.
"I am afraid we will have to join the rest of Charles' guests," said Darcy.
"The ball. I had almost forgotten about the ball," she replied. "I guess we must return."
He saw her disappointment and took her face in his hands. "Do not be sad, my Elizabeth. Tomorrow I will speak with your father and then we will have forever to be together. Will that be soon enough?'
"No," said she with a fake pout, "but I guess it will have to do."
He kissed her gently, "I love you, Elizabeth Bennet."
She returned his kiss, "And I love you, Fitzwilliam Darcy."
Reluctantly they left the library and rejoined the ball. But neither of them knew what anyone said or did for the rest of the evening. All they saw was each other and the bright future that lay ahead.