Spies and Secrets -- Section II

By Lise

Section I, Next Section

Part 1

"Mr. Bennet, have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?" his secretary Fanny asked him.

Bennet, deputy director of P&P, Protection and Prevention, Hertfordshire's intelligence agency whose headquarters were based in Longbourn, a big house on the outskirts of Meryton, replied that he had not.

"I have just heard it from Long, of the Meryton police."

Bennet did not answer. He was engrossed in a map.

"Don't you want to know who took it?" his secretary cried impatiently.

"Tell me."

"Long says it was taken by a rich young man from the north of England; that he came down in a Porsche on Monday, and decided to take it immediately. Some of his servants are to be in the house by next week."

"What's his name?" Bennet showed a little more interest.

"Bingley."

"Hmm."

"I think you ought to pay a little more attention to me. This could be very important."

"How so?"

"I think this is connected to the case you're currently working on," his secretary told him. "I do think you ought to send someone over to investigate. You know how very close Netherfield is to the army base in Meryton."

"We'll see, we'll see," Bennet replied vaguely.

Some of the P&P staff were gathered in Bennet's office a week later.

"What do you think of this Bingley chap, Elizabeth?" Bennet asked.

"I thought you were not interested!" his secretary interposed.

"Long said he was important, I heard," Elizabeth said doubtfully.

"We cannot rely on Long. She might be withholding information, that's why I suggested that he should be checked out," Fanny emphasized. "But Bennet doesn't seem to agree."

"I'm glad you do not rely on Long," was Bennet's answer.

"But we have to!" Fanny cried. "She's the only one who knows anything since you will not investigate."

"Mary," Bennet addressed a young woman who was bent over some files. "Have you found anything about Bingley?"

Mary rummaged through her files.

"Apparently she has not," Bennet said when Mary didn't reply immediately. "Isn't it fortunate then that I have paid him a visit?"

"What?" several people cried.

All of them bombarded Bennet with questions about Bingley's connection to their current case, but he evaded all of their ingenuous questions in his usual way. The staff had to live with the accidental information the P&P director Sir William Lucas could give them. According to Sir William, Bingley was a perfect young man, totally unconnected with the case, except that his father had been one of the assassination victims whose deaths they were investigating.

"I still think that one of us ought to infiltrate Netherfield," Fanny persisted, but Bennet did not pay attention.

Bingley had brought several people with him. His friend Darcy, who was the nephew of rich tycoon Lady Catherine De Bourgh, his two sisters and his brother-in-law Hurst. Except Bingley, they kept themselves at a little distance from the townspeople, and were therefore highly suspicious. The staff had seen them a few times in the pub, but they had not obtained a very favourable opinion.

Part 2

Jane was convinced of Bingley's good character. "He's so nice and it's absolutely clear that he had no ulterior motive in taking Netherfield. It was purely a coincidence, he told me so himself. He had been looking at other properties too."

Elizabeth could not be convinced so easily. Although she was not really suspicious of Charles, and her instincts were usually right, the other members of his party were certainly different. "Someone may have steered him in this direction. He looks like he could be manipulated quite easily. At any rate, Jane, you are too trusting for someone in your profession. A handsome face and pleasant manners don't make him any less suspicious."

"I really don't think it though."

"We simply can't take any chances. There's too much at stake."

Meanwhile, at Netherfield Elizabeth and Jane were being discussed by its occupants. Bingley was walking around the room and Darcy was looking out of the French windows with a pair of binoculars. He was looking in the direction of the Meryton Army Base.

"Those girls were nice, weren't they?" Bingley asked enthusiastically. "I think I really like the locals here."

His friend was more wary. "They asked too many questions."

"So? They wanted to get to know me. I see nothing wrong with that," Bingley said defensively. "What are you looking at anyway?"

"Birds," Darcy said, and he put down the binoculars.

Later, in Bennet's office, he was issuing orders to his team. Charlotte, Jane and Elizabeth were sitting on Mary's desk, Mary was reading files as usual, Kitty was sitting on Fanny's desk, and Lydia was seated on the floor painting her nails.

"Elizabeth and Jane, try to get better acquainted with the tenants of Netherfield. I've seen you chat with the ladies, so it should not be a problem. I want you to find out exactly what they are doing here, and how they ended up here," Bennet instructed them. "I have heard some worrying things that may all be connected."

"Like what?" Elizabeth asked.

"There's a rumour that Lady Catherine De Bourgh put pressure on the government to close a lot of army bases. I also heard that weapons have disappeared from those bases, and that some of the abandoned bases have been bought up by mysterious companies. We cannot take any chances now that her nephew is so close to the Meryton Army Base."

"Who's her nephew?" Jane looked worried, hoping that it wasn't Bingley.

"Fitzwilliam Darcy."

Elizabeth looked smug, now that she was proven right about someone at Netherfield being suspicious.

"You shouldn't have a difficult task with Charles, Jane," Charlotte remarked. "He certainly likes you. You're in a perfect position to find out more."

"Charlotte, I have a nice task for you too. I want you to go to Rosings and get as close to Lady Catherine as possible. She has an assistant called Collins, of whom we know very little, except that he seems to be full of himself. Pose as a journalist and chat up to Collins, flattery should do the trick."

"Oh, Bennet! Why do I always get the nice jobs?" Charlotte groaned. "But all right, I'm off then. Do I get to take a gun?" she said professionally.

Bennet nodded. "Stop by Phillips, he's bound to have something nice for you. Now, Kitty and Lydia, you two get assigned to the Army Base. There happen to be two administrative job opening in the main building, get them. Hang around with the officers a lot and keep your eyes and ears open."

"Yay," Kitty said. "That should be fun, Lyd."

"Sure, I always keep my eyes open in the company of officers," Lydia grinned.

Part 3

"We've been invited to Netherfield," Jane reported to Bennet.

"That's great. Keep an eye on those women too while you're there. Find out if they were away three days ago. Could you feign an illness, Jane?"

"Yes, but why? Something happened?"

"The Nun struck in Paris," Bennet answered. "Colonel Brandon told me over the phone just now."

"What nun? I've never heard of the Nun," Elizabeth looked puzzled.

"It's a top assassin, nicknamed the Nun because in all cases witnesses remember seeing a nun on the scene. We suspect that the assassin is disguised as a nun. A very clever disguise."

"How so?" Elizabeth thought that a nun would be very conspicuous.

"Everybody remembers the outfit, but not the face. Do you ever remember a nun's face? It could be a man for all we know."

"What's her M.O.?"

"She kills with poisoned darts," Bennet replied gravely. "Very quiet. I suppose she has a little dart gun hidden in the folds of her habit."

"Her victims are always people who are standing in the way of Lady Catherine De Bourgh," Fanny spoke up. "Mary and I made a list of them and looked for possible connections."

"Excellent," Bennet complimented her. "May I see the list?"

"So, the assassin works for Lady Catherine..." Elizabeth mused.

"Or for someone who acts for her," Jane added. "What makes you think the Netherfield ladies are suspicious?"

"I heard from Long that they didn't come to the pub three days ago. Apparently they were shopping all day, but that might have been an excuse."

"We'll do our best to find out," Elizabeth said cheerfully.

Jane and Elizabeth were invited for both lunch and dinner, and they had agreed upon it that Jane would claim a severe headache after lunch. She would then ask if she could lie down upstairs so she would be fit by dinnertime. In the meantime Elizabeth would try to keep the company downstairs so Jane could snoop around upstairs.

If the inhabitants of Netherfield were indeed innocent, they would not object to Jane's lying down upstairs. If they had something to hide on the other hand...it was up to them to find out.

"How are you going to be convincingly ill, Jane?" Elizabeth asked.

"Oh don't worry about that," Jane said carelessly. "I'm quite good at it. Just tell them I'm allergic to...well, some foodstuff."

At Netherfield they were received very enthusiastically by Bingley, very politely by the two ladies, and very indifferently by Darcy and Hurst. The company sat down to lunch and Jane performed her little illness trick.

"I don't feel well," she said faintly.

"Are you all right?" Charles said with obvious concern.

"Jane! Was it the strawberries again?" Elizabeth asked. "Maybe you should lie down."

"No, no," Jane protested weakly.

"Yes, I insist," Charles said, and Elizabeth immediately agreed with him, "If you lie down now, you'll be better by dinnertime."

"Are you allergic to strawberries? Why did you eat them?" Caroline asked suspiciously.

"She is not always allergic," Elizabeth explained. "Only in combination with some other products, but she hasn't really discovered which ones yet."

"Well, Caroline....could you show Jane the spare bedroom?" Charles asked his sister, who obliged by leading the way upstairs.

She walked along a passage, closing a few doors before Jane could look inside, and showed her into a room at the end. "Will you be needing anything, a painkiller maybe?"

"Yes, please," Jane said, looking around her.

Caroline returned very quickly with a painkiller and a glass of water, and then rejoined the group downstairs. Jane was free to snoop.

Part 4

Jane waited for a few minutes after she had heard the sound of Caroline's footsteps fading away. She swung her legs off the bed, muttering to herself. "I really don't believe that I will find anything. They seem perfectly nice, but Bennet and Elizabeth are always more suspicious than I am."

She peeked out into the hallway. It was deserted, and the sound of voices floated up from downstairs. Good. I can probably hear them come up the stairs too, but I trust Elizabeth will keep them down for at least an hour. Jane buried the painkiller she still had hidden in her hand in a flowerpot that graced the hallway. To her right were a few empty rooms, but to her left were the other bedrooms. She quickly searched them, and was a bit shocked to discover that Darcy kept a gun hidden in his underwear drawer. That may not mean anything, she told herself, and resumed her snooping.

None of the other bedrooms contained anything out of the ordinary, and Jane climbed the stairs to the attic. She sighed as she observed the loads of rubbish that had been deposited there by the previous owners. Searching this would prove to be an ordeal. She worked her way through a few boxes, until her eye fell on a clothes rack. There were all kinds of costumes hanging on it, and Jane browsed through them, until her heart skipped a beat. There at the end, half concealed by a police uniform, hung a nun's habit.

Meanwhile, Kitty and Lydia were having the time of their lives at the Meryton Army Base. They had both got the job of coffee lady, which guaranteed that they had entrance to all offices, even the most secret. They could move freely with their coffee trolley without looking suspicious. They did get a lot of attention, because they stopped everywhere for a chat.

So far, they had not found out anything, except that there was to be a new officer in charge of the firearms. He had not arrived yet, but his name was Wickham.

Charlotte had made a little more progress at Rosings. She had spun Lady Catherine's subordinate Collins a tale about writing a series of articles on successful businesswomen, and the role of their assistants. Collins had felt very important, and he had promised Charlotte an interview with himself. Charlotte was even prepared to go out to dinner with him, if that could give her more insight in the business dealing of Lady Catherine De Bourgh. Eventually, she would try to get an audience with the boss herself, but Collins had informed her that hardly anyone was granted that privilege, and certainly not a mere journalist.

Charlotte had discovered that Lady Catherine's daughter Anne, or Miss Anne as Collins called her respectfully, was officially in charge of the Hunsford side of business, but that that was really run by her assistant Mrs. Jenkinson. She dismissed the fact of Anne being a key-figure therefore.

Elizabeth, stuck in a card game with the inhabitants of Netherfield remarked that Bingley was either innocent, or a remarkably good actor. The Hursts seemed equally harmless, being a little too stupid too be suspicious. His sister Caroline was obviously suspicious of her, but that seemed to have more to do with the fact that she was afraid of Elizabeth attracting the attention of Darcy.

If Elizabeth had to name to possibly suspicious characters, she would name Caroline and Darcy. Caroline for her suspicious attitude, and Darcy because he was just plain mysterious. He hardly spoke, and his face was inscrutable. Sometimes she caught him staring at her, and it unnerved her a great deal. It was as if he was trying to find her out, and that was very disconcerting to someone who had an ulterior motive.

Towards the end of the afternoon she thought she'd go and see how Jane was doing. To her great distress Caroline offered to come up with her.

"There's no need, really," Elizabeth said politely. What if Jane is not where she should be?

"I'm really concerned," Caroline said, and she started to climb the stairs.

Elizabeth prayed that Jane was in her room. To give Jane the chance to return to her room in time, she made a lot of noise on the stairs, which gained her an irritated look from Caroline.

Part 5

Elizabeth pressed a button on her watch. It gave a soft beep. Caroline paused on the stairs and turned. "What was that?"

"Oh nothing, just the hourly beep." She did not tell Caroline that her watch was actually a two-way transmitting device, and that she had just beeped to warn Jane. Jane had the same watch, and they had agreed upon one beep for a warning signal.

"It's a quarter past, though," Caroline said.

Elizabeth shrugged with a smile. "I went swimming with it. It's been acting up ever since."

Caroline resumed climbing the stairs, and Elizabeth cheered inwardly for the little delay she had caused. Jane has got to be back on that bed by now.

They found Jane on her bed, looking much better. "How are you feeling, dear?" Caroline asked. "You certainly look much better. Are you well enough to come down with us?"

"Yes, I'll come down with you."

To Elizabeth however, Jane did not look at all well. She gave her a questioning look behind Caroline's back. "Later," Jane mouthed.

"So, Caroline," Jane asked, "did Elizabeth give you our flowers yet?"

"Yes, she did, they were absolutely lovely! Even if they were plastic. But that means the bouquet stays nice and tidy and I don't have to pick up fallen petals."

Jane and Elizabeth smiled. One of the plastic daffodils contained a carefully concealed microphone that would pick up all conversation in the Netherfield drawing room, so the staff at Longbourne could listen in on it. Elizabeth had made sure Caroline placed it on a conveniently situated table between Caroline's favourite chair and the chair Darcy used to sit in. It was no use placing it close to Hurst, because he was too prone to snoring.

On their way back from dinner at Netherfield, Jane and Elizabeth encountered a handsome man with binoculars. He appeared to be looking at a tree.

"Hello ladies," he greeted them with a smile.

"Hello. Anything of interest up that tree?" Elizabeth inquired politely. She didn't see why he needed binoculars for such a small distance.

"Yes, a bird. I'm an ornithologist, and I'm doing a research for the Ministry of Defense." The man appeared to be very talkative.

"Oh, really? What does the Ministry of Defense have to do with birds?"

"Well," the man put down his gear, and the girls saw that they were in for a long explanation. "You see, I've been requested to research bird behaviour close to army bases. It appears that they behave differently. For instance, a lot of birds get killed when they fly into a plane, or planes get damaged when they fly into a bird. So, it might be that they avoid airfields as a result of witnessing those traumatizing experiences. This crow for example," he pointed up the tree, "I have followed it all the way from the army airfield, and I can tell you it's not behaving like a good crow should."

"It's not?" Jane was baffled by the story.

The man shook his head, looking at the tree again. The crow flew off to a neighbouring tree, and the man gathered up his stuff. He held out his hand. "Well ladies, it seems I must go. My name is Henry Tilney, by the way." They shook his hand and introduced themselves. "Nice meeting you," Henry Tilney said. "Good bye."

Elizabeth and Jane walked on. "What an odd story! Do you think he was making it up?" Elizabeth asked, but even Jane was not wholly convinced of the man's seriousness.

"I forgot to tell you that I found a nun's habit in the attic," Jane said.

"What? How can you forget something like that?" Elizabeth cried.

"I'm sure it meant nothing. It was hanging on a rack with dozens of other costumes."

"Sure! The perfect hiding place! It's got to be Caroline, she's so hostile."

"Hostile? I thought she was very nice, very caring," Jane protested.

"Oh, Jane! Sometimes I think you have chosen the wrong career."

Part 6

"Well, girls, what did you find out," Bennet asked anxiously when Jane and Elizabeth walked into his office. He could see they were excited and had lots to tell. Fanny leant back in her chair in anticipation, and even Mary was interested enough to abandon her files for a moment.

"I found a nun's habit," Jane said carefully.

"Miss Bingley!" Fanny cried immediately. "That woman sounds very suspicious."

"Now let's not jump to conclusions, Fanny," Bennet chided her. "Did Colonel Brandon not say that it might have been a man?"

"Darcy!" Elizabeth cried. "There is definitely something fishy about that man. I don't trust him at all."

"We shall get back to him later. First, the habit. Where was it, Jane?"

"In the attic, on a rack full of costumes. Policeman, fireman, clown..."

"See! It just can't be a coincidence," Elizabeth interrupted. "Normal people don't have that sort of thing in their attics. All the other costumes are camouflage."

"Hmmm..." Bennet looked reflectively. "Did you put the microphone in place?"

"Yes, Control Room should be listening to it now."

"Good. We'll see if they pick up anything. Was there anything else of interest at Netherfield?"

"No," said Jane.

"Yes," said Elizabeth. "There seem to be an awful lot of people interested in birds. Darcy has binoculars to watch birds, and we met a rather strange character on our way back who was also watching birds." She told Bennet about their encounter.

"Ah, I see," he said mysteriously.

"Can you please stop being so annoying? You never tell us what you're thinking, all you say is 'ah' or 'hmmm', how do we know if we have told you something of value?"

"We cannot possibly know if anything is of value, yet," was Bennet's reply. "All the same, I do think we're going to need reinforcements with all these people turning up. I'm going to pull Fanny Price off the Mansfield case."

"Wonderful! I haven't seen her for ages!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Isn't she undercover?" Jane asked, fearful that Fanny's cover would be blown.

"Don't worry, Fanny Price and I have already covered that base. She will be visiting her family in Portsmouth."

"It's going to be very confusing though, two Fannies," his secretary remarked.

"She will be Fanny2 from now on," Bennet eased his secretary's mind.

The phone rang. Fanny picked it up at her desk and signalled Bennet to pick up his own extension. "Hello Charlotte, how are things going?"

After the call, he informed his staff of the latest developments at Rosings. "Charlotte has managed to get a date with Lady Catherine's second in command, Collins. Apparently he's an icky figure, whatever that may mean, but Charlotte says he's so stupid he doesn't know he's being pumped. So far, she has found out that Lady Catherine's live-in staff at her headquarters consists of herself and her daughter, Collins, the housekeeper Mrs. Norris, the driver Thorpe and a group of thugs. One person from Rosings has also been making calls from a public phone booth, Charlotte observed someone making the trip from the side gates to the booth, but he or she was heavily disguised. So, she thinks someone is working behind Lady Cat's back."

In the meantime, Fanny had been busy with another phone call. When Bennet finished she was eager to share another bit of news. "The Polish head of a company that Lady Catherine has been trying to take over for years was strangled with a phone cord this morning. Apparently the killer entered the house with a screwdriver."

Part 7

Lady Catherine De Bourgh sat in her office, thinking. Her final coup was near, and she felt a tingle of excitement. There are still a few people who keep opposing me. Such a shame that they can't see reason, now they will have to be removed. I'll have Collins contact the Nun... Lady Catherine did not know the identity of the Nun, but that wasn't important. The Nun was an excellent assassin and that was all that mattered. She was just reaching for her phone when it rang.

"Catherine here," she answered.

"Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once," a muffled voice said. Lady Catherine sat up straight. This was her mysterious informant from Meryton. He or she was always barely audible, and she had no clue if her informant was male or female. "Bennet's team is moving in on Meryton."

"Who are they?"

"Only know one. Lydia, works at the base as a coffee girl. Speaking of the base, Colonel Forster is keeping a very tight watch."

"He shall be dealt with too."

The muffled voice hung up. Lady Catherine sat staring at the wall. Bennet is moving in on Meryton, that must mean he suspects something. I must act fast. Wickham is going to Meryton anyway, he can keep an eye on that Lydia. And Colonel Forster...he will have to be removed. She rang for Collins. "Come to my office this instant!"

He appeared within a minute, gasping for air. "You rang, Milady?"

Lady Catherine gave him a withering stare. "Of course I rang! Do not ask me stupid questions, Collins." If he were not the only person the Nun is in contact with, I would fire him immediately. But on the other hand, Catherine's megalomaniacal ego was immensely boosted by Collins' submissiveness and flattering.

"I want you to contact the Nun. I have another assignment for her."

"Who?" said Collins, happy to do his boss a service.

"Colonel Forster."

"Does the Nun know who that is?" Collins had never heard of Colonel Forster.

"Say Meryton and she will know."

"I will do it right away, Lady Catherine," Collins said hastily, bowing his way out of the office. He headed for his own office and sat down behind his computer. He connected to the internet and went to My Own Email where he had a secret email account. He typed in his password and his full address, [e-mail]. There was no mail in his mailbox, he sadly observed. He clicked compose and addressed his email to [e-mail].

Elizabeth walked into Meryton's library to return some books. To her great surprise she saw Caroline Bingley behind the internet computer. She must have come her to use the internet. She can't be a member, she's only staying in this town for a few weeks. Why doesn't she use Darcy's computer? I saw him browsing the web at Netherfield...

Caroline saw her approach and anxiously clicked at something with her mouse, a guilty look on her face. At least, Elizabeth thought it was a guilty look. She doesn't want me to see what she was doing. "Hello Caroline."

"Hello Elizabeth," Caroline said guardedly. "I was just about to check my email." She went to Hotmail and logged in.

"Oh, okay, I'll leave you to it. See you!" I'll take the hint, don't worry!

"Yes, bye."

Part 8

Posted on Thursday, 18 June 1998

"The occupants of Netherfield are leaving," Bennet told them.

"Leaving?" Jane was stricken. She had taken quite a fancy to Mr. Bingley.

"They must have finished their job, whatever it was," Elizabeth mused.

"Exactly," Bennet replied. "That's why I think you two ought to split up. Jane can go to London, and Elizabeth must go to Hunsford to assist Charlotte."

"Without a reason? I'll look very suspicious."

"You can be Charlotte's photographer," Bennet suggested. "Charlotte is supposedly writing an article."

Elizabeth laughed. "I'm the world's worst photographer! Have you ever seen my pictures?"

"That doesn't matter. Just hold the camera convincingly."

"Okay, I'll try. Have you told Charlotte I'm coming yet?"

"Yes, I have. She has already leaked out the news."

"But wouldn't it look strange if I came over just for the pictures for her article?"

"No, you're a freelancer also doing a series on country life, and you just happened to know Charlotte who was still in need of a good photographer. Here," Bennet passed her an envelope, " this is some of your work, in case someone gets too nosy."

"Well, wow!" Elizabeth said, as she took the pictures out, "I'm very talented!"

"I'm so glad you're here!" Charlotte greeted Elizabeth warmly. "That Mr. Collins is driving me crazy!"

"With desire?" Elizabeth grinned.

Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Oh, please! But ssst, there he comes. He's never far away, I think I'm beginning to become his second obsession, after Lady Catherine," she said in a low voice.

"My dear Charlotte, you have such lovely talented friends! Immensely pleased to meet you, Miss Elizabeth," he drooled.

Elizabeth smiled politely, and gave his moist, soft, flabby hand a strong shake. Poor Charlotte, but it's all in the course of duty...

"Oh!" Mr. Collins squealed. "You have quite a grip for a woman. But of course you must have!" He hit his forehead. "You have to be strong to carry that camera around, don't you?"

They sat down in the Inn, and Mr. Collins would not go. Though Elizabeth would have preferred to discuss things alone with Charlotte, this gave her a chance to observe Mr. Collins and assess his worth. A quick observation taught her that he was completely useless and unoriginal as an individual, but very useful as a projection of Lady Catherine's opinions. As long as they could not speak with the Lady herself, they had to make do with Mr. Collins, and he was eager enough to boast about his idol and employer.

She contemplated the idea of planting a microphone on Collins. She delved into her bag with the excuse of looking for a handkerchief, and looked through her collection of gadgets. An Arsenal tie-clip...why Arsenal anyway? A quick look at Mr. Collins showed that he didn't have one yet. But how do I give it to him without him thinking that I have amourous designs on him? Ah...the football angle.

"Are you a football fan, Mr. Collins?" Elizabeth asked, and Charlotte looked confused.

"Yes, yes, aren't we all?"

"I personally like Arsenal," Elizabeth said, betting on him to agree with her.

"Yes, they are great! They are my favourite team too," Mr. Collins cried eagerly.

"Well then, look what I found on the train. Perhaps you'd like to have it? I don't wear ties, and I think that it should go to someone who really appreciates the club, don't you?"

Mr. Collins expressed his delight, and attached the microphone to his tie. Charlotte understood it now, and grinned. "It looks great with your suit," she complimented him, hoping this would induce him to always wear it.

Part 9

Posted on Saturday, 20 June 1998

That evening, Charlotte and Elizabeth sat in Charlotte's room, intently listening for any sounds transmitted by the microphone planted on Collins. They did not hear anything useful until exactly ten o'clock, when a piercing bleep was heard.

"What was that?" Elizabeth asked.

"His bleeper," said Charlotte, who had already heard more of the sound than she liked. "He's being summoned by her Ladyship now. Let's pay close attention!"

Elizabeth had her little recorder and notepad ready. "Why does it have to be so loud though?"

You rang, Milady?

Of course I rang! How many times have I told you now not to ask me stupid questions, Collins.

I am so sorry, Lady Catherine. I would not want to inconvenience you by coming because this bleeper bleeped due to a technical failure--

Yes, yes. Prepare a bedroom for my nephew Darcy. He will be over unexpectedly in an hour. I trust he is met with all the usual courtesies.

"Darcy?" Elizabeth cried.

Yes, of course, your Ladyship, I shall--

Go! You shall go. Now.

They heard Mr. Collins issuing commands to the housekeeper, but that was of no importance. What they had just heard was far more important.

"Mr. Darcy! I knew he was fishy! This proves it," Elizabeth said excitedly. "Let's call Bennet and ask what we should do."

"Not from the hotel," the prudent Charlotte warned. "Let's go to that public phone we saw."

The girls pretended to go on a pre-bedtime walk, and made a little detour before arriving at the phone. It was decided that Charlotte would make the call, because she was the calmest of the two. Elizabeth was practically jumping up and down now that her suspicions had been proven right.

"Hi Fanny, is Bennet around?" Charlotte asked. "We are calling from a public phone near the hotel, so it should be safe."

"Bennet here," he said after Fanny gestured to him to pick up his extension. "Hello Charlotte, everything all right?"

"Yes, well, maybe no!" Charlotte was unusually incoherent.

"You sound excited. What happened?"

"We planted a microphone on Collins, actually, Elizabeth did, and we overheard that Darcy is expected at Rosings. We wondered what to do next."

"Hmmm...I suggest you keep a close eye on him. Find out if he is important, who he associates with and the like. Keep me informed!"

"OK. Will do. Good-bye." Charlotte hung up.

Part 10

The next morning, Charlotte and Elizabeth had breakfast in the dining room of the Inn. The innkeeper loved to gossip, and he loved to share his news with people.

"Lady Catherine's nephew has arrived."

"Really?" Elizabeth asked. "When?"

"Late last night, about eleven or so, but he was up very early this morning for I saw him doing his jogging round when I went to collect the fresh eggs."

"Does he always go jogging?"

"Oh yes. He's very active, always out, golfing, jogging, shooting, fishing in the river... I believe he's gone fishing with the Colonel now. They do that a lot. They stay away all day."

"Who's the Colonel?" Charlotte asked with curiosity. That was someone she hadn't heard of before.

"He's a friend of Darcy's. Other than that, I don't know much about him. He lives in the direction of the town and he hardly ever comes into the village. His cleaning lady told me he's retired from the military, but I don't know why because he's still quite young. How do you like the eggs, Miss?"

"They're delicious," Charlotte assured him. Suddenly she got an idea. "We would like to walk around the area, my friend here is a photographer and she's doing something on country life. Show him your pictures, Lizzy."

Elizabeth obeyed, and showed the innkeeper 'her' pictures. He was impressed. A good move on Charlotte's part, Elizabeth thought. The whole village will know about them now, and no one will doubt my credentials.

"Well," Charlotte continued. "I thought we could take a walk around nice places where she could take pictures like this. Can you recommend any? Preferably with water, water always makes for great pictures."

"Sure," the innkeeper frowned, "let me give you a map of the area and I will point out some nice spots." He went into the room behind the bar and returned shortly with a map he spread out on the table. "Here, and here, and here. How long will you be gone? I can fix you some sandwiches to take with you if you plan to go all the way to the river."

"The river, Elizabeth?" Charlotte inquired.

"Sounds good," she replied. Clever Charlotte! I hope we can find the spot where Darcy and that Colonel are fishing.

The girls set off with their camera, binoculars, and a packed lunch in their backpacks. They walked in the direction of the river, which they should reach in about two hours, they reckoned. It was a sunny day, not too warm for walking, and the sky was blue.

"I'd better take some pictures now and then, in case someone checks my camera," Elizabeth suggested.

"Can you take any decent ones?" Charlotte giggled, remembering some of Elizabeth's holiday pictures.

"No!"

"Let me take some then. I like it."

While walking they discussed the arrival of Mr. Darcy. "Do you think it's important, Elizabeth?"

"Yes, he must be connected to it all. How else could we explain his presence in Meryton, and now here? I must be careful though, sometimes I thought I was catching on to my game."

"What did you tell him you did for a living? That might be a problem."

"I didn't tell anyone of them anything, so my being a photographer now is no problem, I hope. Anyway, I could always say it's my hobby."

"Did he do anything concretely suspicious though?" Charlotte wanted to be completely convinced of Darcy's suspiciousness.

"He watched me a lot," Elizabeth shrugged.

"He might just be fancying you!" Charlotte laughed.

"Oh sure!"

Finally they arrived at the river. It was not very wide and streamed slowly. The girls looked to both sides but they couldn't see any people fishing. They sat down for a moment to decide on what to do.

"Left or right, what do you say?" Charlotte asked as she studied the map closely.

"Right would be closer to Rosings. Too bad we don't know where that Colonel lives."

"We do. He lives in the direction of the town. I take it this is the town?" she pointed at a town close by.

"Could be. That's to the right too, so we'll go that way?"

After fifteen minutes Elizabeth spotted a parasol. She nudged Charlotte. "Do you think...?"

Charlotte and Elizabeth came closer and found out that it was indeed Mr. Darcy who was fishing there, together with another man they assumed was the Colonel. They looked at the girls with some surprise, but Darcy did not look as surprised as Elizabeth thought he would. Lady Catherine must have informed him of our presence in Hunsford.

"Elizabeth," he said. "Good morning. And Charlotte, wasn't it?"

"Good morning," Elizabeth and Charlotte replied.

"You know each other?" the Colonel asked with amazement.

"We met when I stayed at Netherfield," Darcy replied with an inscrutable face.

"Well, introduce me, old bean!" the Colonel cried.

Part 11

"Colonel Fitzwilliam," Darcy said, "Elizabeth, Charlotte."

"Pleased to meet you, ladies! Since you are friends of Darcy, would you like to join us for lunch? I feel it's lunch time," the Colonel smiled.

Darcy looked sour, in Elizabeth's opinion. He doesn't like being forced to spend any time in our company, much less being called our friend. But this gives us a great chance to get to know the Colonel. I say we take it. She looked at Charlotte, who nodded. "Sure," she said. The Colonel seems like a nice and friendly sort of person. Even if he's a bad guy, I think it will be fun to have lunch with him. You've got to admire a man who dares to call Darcy an old bean.

"We have more than enough lunch for the four of us, but I suppose you brought something yourselves as well. Don't tell me you're the kind who skip lunch because they're slimming!" The Colonel chatted away.

Darcy was silent, unless he was asked something. Elizabeth found he was still looking at her intently all the time. She decided to go ahead and ask him. "Why do you keep looking at me like that, Mr. Darcy?" Isn't it ridiculous that I spent half a day in a house with this man and I still call him Mr. Darcy? "Do I have a milk moustache? Or do you mean to frighten me? In that case I might as well tell you that such schemes do not work with me."

Darcy gave her one of his funny looks again. "You know I don't mean to frighten you. I'm well aware of the fact that you enjoy pretending to be someone that you actually aren't."

That hit a little too close to home to be comfortable, and Elizabeth decided to treat it with a laugh, so as not to let her discomfort show. "That's not a very nice impression of me you're giving your friend. I am very unlucky to meet the one person in Hunsford who could possibly know that I am not all what I seem, when I had thought nobody here would find out about me. You do realise that this gives me the right to disclose some information about you yourself as well? It's your own fault if some thing might come as a shock for your friend."

Darcy smiled, to her surprise. She had thought he would be alarmed. "I'm not afraid."

"Do tell!" the Colonel said eagerly. "How does he behave when he's not under my good influence?"

"Oh, it's dreadful!" Elizabeth cried. "I seriously suspect your cousin of being that assassin, The Nun. Did you know there was a nun's habit at Netherfield?"

Charlotte gave Elizabeth a cautioning look. Do you know what you're doing? You're not supposed to know about what was in the attic, remember?

Both Darcy and the Colonel looked amazed. "I am not The Nun," Darcy protested. There was a nun's habit at Netherfield?

"What else was that costume doing there?"

"I did not even know it was there!" What could she possibly mean? Does she think I'm an assassin, or did she find out that one of my companions at Netherfield is? He was rather confused, but supposed she was only making wild guesses to gauge his reaction. He decided not show too much of his confusion.

"Shall we ask your friend how it's possible that he doesn't explore any new house he goes to stay in for a few weeks from top to bottom, and therefore find out exactly what it contains?" Elizabeth asked the Colonel jokingly.

"I can answer that without asking him. It's because he won't give himself the trouble to do so."

"I had better things to do," Darcy defended himself, feeling rather remiss indeed.

"Priorities," said Elizabeth with a smile. "I might have better things to do right now as well, but I'm still sitting here."

"And I am glad you are here to divert us, Elizabeth," said Darcy gallantly. This changed the subject effectively, because the Colonel immediately cut in to agree with him.

Part 12

Posted on Thursday, 2 July 1998

The next few days, the Colonel came to see them several times, and he treated them to lunch. Once he brought Darcy with him, but the other times he came alone. When they were not being entertained by the Colonel, Elizabeth and Charlotte explored the surroundings of Rosings Park, they pretended to work on their article, or they tried to catch as much gossip as possible by going into all the shops of the village.

On the fourth day, Charlotte was out to see Collins and Elizabeth was sitting alone in the backyard when she was visited by Darcy. She was naturally apprehensive, because she had no idea what he could want, still being under the firm belief of his bad character.

"How are you?" he said.

She shrugged, "all right."

Darcy walked about a bit, and Elizabeth stared at him in amazement. Why did he come to see me?

He stopped to address her. "In vain have I struggled with this problem, but it will not do. You must allow me to assist you."

Elizabeth's mouth fell open. Assist me? With what? But soon he explained. "It's been a long time since I have come to suspect that my aunt has megalomaniacal tendencies, but she is still my aunt, you must understand that my loyalty lies with my family. I believe you are here to gather information on her, and I have come to realize that it might be in everybody's interest if I helped you." It came out rather grudgingly.

Elizabeth was speechless. He! Whom I suspect of being the Nun! No way! No way shall I inform him of what I am doing so he can run straight to his aunt to tell her. What does he think? I am not as stupid as that, Mr. Darcy!

"It is natural that I would feel some sort of obligation, and if I would feel gratitude, I would thank you. But I can't. I never asked for your help, and you certainly offer it most unwillingly," she spat out. Besides, you have yet to convince me of your trustworthiness!

Darcy looked angry. He had obviously not expected to have his offer of help turned down immediately. "Why?"

"My feelings are decided against you. You are highly suspicious, do you really think I would confide in you? I have every reason in the world to be suspicious of you. Not only are you the nephew of what is perhaps the most thwarted mind in the world--" Darcy clinched his jaw, "--but you are also the number one suspect of being the world's most elusive assassin. You cannot deny that, especially with that nun's habit we discovered at Netherfield." Oh please, I hope I didn't say too much. What if he is, and he kills me?

He looked incredulous, but he didn't say anything.

"Can you deny it?"

"I won't deny that there was such a habit at Netherfield, even if I did not know about it. You obviously have proof that it was there. If it had not been there, you would have agreed to cooperate with me."

"You are wrong. That did not influence me one bit. My opinion of you was already fully established. You could not have asked me to work with you in any way that would have tempted me to accept your help."

He looked incredulous again.

"From the very first moment I saw you, your manners impressed me with the absolute belief of your arrogance, conceit, and your coldness, which led to a very strong dislike on my side. Subsequent events have only strengthened that dislike. I hadn't known you for a very long time before I was absolutely certain that I could never cooperate with you, aside from my suspicions."

He glared at her. "You have said enough. I understand. Forgive me for wasting your time, good day."

Part 13

Posted on Tuesday, 7 July 1998

Elizabeth was left in a state of confusion after Darcy left. His audacity left her speechless, and she didn't know what to think.

Sir William Lucas had a big budget and he had equipped his staff with laptop computers so they could email back to base, but Bennet refused to use email because he said it wasn't safe, so they were not exactly used for professional reasons. Elizabeth had taken hers with her to keep in touch with her friends. She switched the computer on and checked her mail at her private address. No mail there. Then she checked at her 'business' address, and was surprised to find an email from Darcy in her mailbox. Darcy! Fwd Good! Fwood Good? How does he know my address?

Subject: [Fwd: Good!
Date: Tue, 07 Jul 1998 13:19:02 +0200
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

Elizabeth, don't worry, I shall not be repeating myself with this letter, but please do me the honour of reading it. You don't trust me because my aunt happens to be Lady Catherine De Bourgh. Does that mean I'm equally bad?. You can tell from my email address that I'm also in the service.

I have been gathering evidence against her for several years now, but it's very difficult because she's very good at concealing things. If you do not believe me, consult my superior Colonel Fitzwilliam on this matter. He is supposed to be retired, but he is not.

Second, you practically accuse me of being the nun. If I had been, wouldn't I already have had an order to kill you off? Lady Catherine's spies know everything. You dislike me, which is your good right, but I would NEVER assassinate my best friend's father (who, as you well know, was killed by the Nun). I could give you a few more excuses, but I doubt that they are strong enough to convince you. I can only hope that you are clever enough to destroy my aunt. Good luck.

F. Darcy
777

Subject: Good!
Date: Tue, 07 Jul 1998 11:09:12 +0200
From: R. Fitzwilliam <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

her address is [e-mail]. going on a date? good, good!

"Going on a date? You told him you wanted to ask me out? How dare you!" She wondered if she should tell Bennet. What would he say if he found out I turned down an offer of help? Maybe I should keep this to myself until I know more...He would not want me to cooperate with someone who could possibly be the Nun...

Part 14

Posted on Friday, 10 July 1998

Elizabeth and Charlotte had an appointment with Lady Catherine at 9am. Mr. Collins, who had arranged it all, had provided them with a list of 'things to do and to avoid.'

Report to the guard at the front gate at 8.30 precisely. Do not bring any weapons. You and your possessions shall be searched.

How about a microphone? Elizabeth thought, The microphone they had planted on Collins had apparently met with an accident. Since that one conversation, they hadn't heard anything but a splash, when the clumsy Collins dropped his tie-clip into his washbasin.

You are free to take pictures, but your film shall be developed by us and you will receive your pictures later.

"It's very nice of them to pay for that," Charlotte said sarcastically. She read the other warnings on the list. "Ridiculous, isn't it? This shows clearly that the woman is not right in the head."

"Or Collins."

"More likely both," Charlotte laughed. "What do you think of Colonel Fitzwilliam?" she asked pensively.

"He's a babe," Elizabeth said enthusiastically.

"A babe?" Charlotte raised her eyebrows. "A little too charming, to be sure?"

"Too charming? What do you mean?"

"I've done some digging."

"Where, at the graveyard?"

"Very funny. He was abroad at the time of the Paris assassination, and he was away when the other killings took place too."

"But..." Elizabeth stopped. She could not tell Charlotte that the Colonel was still in the service without revealing that she had turned down an offer of help from another branch just because she happened to dislike that person. The Colonel isn't the Nun!

Meanwhile in London, Jane was trying to get some more information on Caroline's whereabouts during the past few months. So far she had come up with nothing out of the ordinary. The woman seemed to be either very innocent, or very clever. Jane had even tried to visit her, but Caroline was never home.

One day she ran into her by accident, and Caroline had been very nervous and distant, almost as if she had something to hide. Jane was a little disappointed, because she had thought Caroline and she had become friends at Netherfield. She shrugged it off. At least we know she's in London. She informed Bennet of it.

They presented themselves at the gate at 8.30, a little nervous about meeting Lady Catherine at last. Elizabeth had her camera with her, though she was resolved not to take too many pictures for fear of revealing her meagre photographic skills.

The guard at the gate searched them, and looked into their bags, but they had taken good care not to take any 'illegal' things. "Would you please fill out these forms," the guard said as he gave them both a sheet of paper. Name, address, occupation, and they were both handed a visitors' pass they had to clip on.

"What is this, some top secret hi-tech research outfit?" Elizabeth whispered to Charlotte.

They followed another mean looking man down the driveway to the house. In the imposant hall the two girls were met by Collins, who practically slid across the floor in his oily way. He led them up the stairs to Lady Catherine's office. Charlotte did not doubt that Lady Catherine was closely monitoring their progress for she had spied several half-hidden cameras already. As reverently as one can possibly knock, Collins knocked on an impressive wooden door and an authoritative voice called out, "enter!"

Part 15

Posted Tuesday, 21-Jul-98

"Ah, so there are your journalist friends, Collins. Well, ladies, you are here now, what did you want to see me about?" Lady Catherine asked ungraciously. She was an authoritative looking woman in her fifties, tall and large, with strong features that might have been handsome once. She had a very imposing manner of sitting behind her desk, and she made no effort to rise as they were shown in by Collins. She merely nodded to two chairs placed opposite the desk at a safe distance, not too close.

"I am doing a series on the leading business women of the moment," said Charlotte.

"Who else?"

"I don't know yet. I figured I'd start with you because you are the most eminent business woman in the world today."

Yeah, go Charlotte! Butter her up, Elizabeth thought. How can she stay so calm and composed? "Today?" Lady Catherine's sharp beady eyes shot fire. "I have no equal today nor in history. Name me one woman in past times who could hope to be compared with me."

Mr. Collins smiled and nodded in his corner. Charlotte and Elizabeth could and would not name anyone, at least not someone who would please Lady Catherine.

"You see, I am quite unique," she said with satisfaction as she received no answer. Collins smiled and nodded again.

The girls did not even have to ask anything, because Lady Catherine was quite willing to explain all about her motives and her need to seize economic power. "It is my greatest wish that my face shall grace the Euro one day," she concluded.

Oh boy! You'll be six feet under once the Euro comes into being. "She's quite mad," Elizabeth said as soon as they had left the premises. "Do you think her relatives are in it too?" she asked, still unsure about Darcy.

"I don't know. She only mentioned that her daughter Anne is in charge of local operations, but I don't think she has a lot of power with a mother like that," Charlotte answered as they walked back to the Inn. "If she and Darcy are involved it's only marginally, oh, and do not forget Colonel Fitzwilliam."

"What about him?"

"He's her nephew too."

"He is?" Elizabeth cried. "When did that happen?"

Charlotte laughed. "Why, some thirty years ago, I expect."

Elizabeth made an impatient gesture to mean she wanted a serious answer. "How do you know he's her nephew?"

"Did you not hear her mention her nephews, plural?"

"No," Elizabeth was surprised.

"Accompanied by a little gesture in the direction of a picture of Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam and a girl?"

"I saw her point at that picture, yes. But I did not see that it was the Colonel in it."

All eyes for Darcy, I bet.

"Even if he is her nephew, he just cannot be involved."

"Because he's a babe, right?" Charlotte said sarcastically. "Don't be so Jane-ish. We got what we wanted, now let's go back to Meryton."

Part 16

Posted on Sunday, 26-Jul-98

When they got back to Longbourn, they briefed all the others about what happened, and they got informed about what had passed in their absence, which wasn't much, except that there was now a Miss Darcy staying at Meryton's main hotel. Lydia and Kitty had become friends with several officers at the Army base, but they could not tell them anything useful. They had gotten particularly friendly with one named Wickham. "He says Miss Darcy is just as bad as her aunt," Lydia said.

"He knows Lady Catherine?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, I don't think so, but he used to be a friend of her brother's or something until he decided he did not want to have anything to do with their unlawful activities."

"I wonder what she can be doing here," Bennet mused.

Oddly enough it was Fanny2, the latest arrival, who had picked up some concrete information, the name Willoughby, from an informant.

Bennet looked at his assembled team. "I think it is necessary that we find out more about this Willoughby. He might have something to tell us."

At that moment, the phone rang and Fanny answered. The call did not last very long, and nobody paid any attention because she got calls all the time. "Bennet!" she called.

"Yes, Fanny?"

"I have just received a mysterious phone call from one Willoughby. He insisted on meeting you tonight, at ten, in his cottage."

Bennet looked pensive and clasped his hands together. "Things are moving," he said darkly. He always said something to this effect, and no one ever knew what he was talking about, but afterwards it always turned out that he had been right. "Good, Fanny2 and Elizabeth, you are coming with me. Kitty and Lydia go back to the base, Mary is still working on the bank transactions, Jane will keep an eye on the Miss Darcy who's staying at the hotel and Fanny will keep things going here. There is enough to do."

At a quarter to ten Bennet, Elizabeth and Fanny2 drove off. Elizabeth was driving, because Fanny2 was such a careful driver that it would take them far longer to arrive at their destination.

"Umm...Bennet," Fanny2 said.

"Yes?"

"I did not mention this because I thought it might not be connected to this case, but I saw Henry Crawford coming out of the supermarket today."

"Henry Crawford?" Bennet was definitely interested. "Did he see you?" he asked, knowing that she was supposed to be in Portsmouth.

Fanny2 shook her head.

"What do you think he could possibly be doing here?"

"I don't know. I see no connection between the cases."

Elizabeth slowed down the car to make a turn into a narrow country lane, when suddenly a black car with no lights on shot out of the lane onto the big road, and sped away in the direction they had just come from.

Bennet sat up straight. He looked worried. He did not trust that black car one bit.

"I did not see its number plates," Fanny2 volunteered, not trusting the car either.

A small distance down the lane was Willoughby's cottage. Elizabeth parked the car and they approached the house carefully. Bennet rang the bell, but nobody answered. His face looked grim. "I hope we are not too late. Let's walk round the back."

The back door was slightly ajar, and they entered, both girls gripping their handguns. "Mr. Willoughby?" Elizabeth called. There was no answer. They made their way through the kitchen into the sitting room and the hall. The sight in the hall stopped them dead in their tracks, for sprawled across the floor lay the body of a man. Elizabeth ran over quickly and felt his pulse, but it was too late. "He is dead," she said quietly.

"How?"

Elizabeth and Fanny2 turned the man over, and protruding from his chest was a small dart.

"The Nun!" they both gasped.

"Yes, it would seem that the Nun is in Meryton," Bennet said grimly. "I was right, things are beginning to move."

Part 17

Posted on Tuesday, 11-Aug-98

"Is it Willoughby?" Elizabeth asked quiveringly. She was not really fond of dead people. Fanny2, who in appearance seemed a shy and frightened girl, was actually quite unscrupulous when it came to death. She looked at the dead man's body carefully.

"I think so. Look how he's not wearing any shoes. He must live here. Too bad, isn't it? He was quite good-looking."

"Let us search the house," Bennet suggested. "I'll take the ground floor, and you two can go upstairs."

The girls did not find anything, but Fanny2 had spotted an interesting thing from a window. "Sir, I think he keeps pigeons. I could not see very well because it's dark, but should we check it out?"

"Pigeons. Does Lady Catherine not serve Pigeon A L'Orange in that restaurant of hers?" Bennet mused.

Elizabeth looked at him as if he was mad. "What does that have to do with anything? Besides, I wouldn't know. It's much too expensive for me to dine there. Don't you know that Chirac, Clinton, Yeltsin and Tony Blair all go there? That kind of clientčle drives the prices somewhat out of my reach. Did you find anything down here?" she asked impatiently.

"Yes, a piece of very interesting information. It seems that Mr. Willoughby ran some kind of pigeon business with two men called Wickham and Crawford."

Fanny2 gasped. "Henry Crawford?"

"Yes, the very one."

"So that was why he was here, in Meryton." Fanny2 said, lost in thought.

"Perhaps."

"Pigeon business?" Elizabeth asked. "What business can there be in pigeons?"

"Have you never heard of all those homing pigeon competitions where they drive the pigeons to the south of France and release them and then the owner of the pigeon who arrives home first wins the prize?"

"Daft! Completely daft!" Elizabeth shook her head. "So there is money to be made in the pigeon trade?"

"It would appear so. Perhaps fast flyers are breedable, but I'm not very well aware of the particulars of this sport. We had better drive back to Longbourn and make an anonymous phonecall to the police about the body here. Did you examine the rooms upstairs with gloves on?"

Elizabeth sighed. Sometimes Bennet really treated them like they were stupid. "Yes, Bennet. I would understand it if you said such a thing to Lydia, but to us? I thought you had more faith in us."

"Good, I was only checking. Let's go before The Nun warned the police himself. By the way, did you happen to see any nuns today?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "Several. With that convent nearby you always see one or more nuns in Meryton, and I think I know most of them by now. There is the one with the scooter that the local youth has nicknamed Heaven's Angel...but she could not be the killer."

Part 18

Posted on Thursday, 27-Aug-98

"I think it is vital that we go pay a little visit to Mr. Crawford," said Bennet pensively when they drove back to Meryton.

Fanny2 let out a little gasp. "Must we?" Somehow she was a little afraid of seeing him again.

"Yes. Either he is in danger, or he is dangerous. Elizabeth, I see a public phone, pull over."

Elizabeth obeyed and parked the car while Bennet took out his handkerchief--he was one of those people who still had cotton handkerchiefs--and made a muffled phonecall to the Meryton police station.

"All right, off to find Crawford. Where do you think he is staying?"

"At Meryton Grand Hotel, no doubt," Elizabeth said.

"You have a Grand Hotel?" Fanny2 was impressed.

"Yeah, it's quite big," she snorted.

"I'll stay in the car," Fanny2 offered when they arrived at the hotel, but Bennet wouldn't hear of it.

Henry Crawford was indeed staying there, and he had an alibi. He had been in the dining room until nine, and in the bar after that, where he had been having an animated discussion with the barman on soccer and supermodels that hadn't quite ended yet. He displayed no grief at hearing of the death of his business partner, claiming that they had not been close.

"Can you think of any reason why Mr. Willoughby should be killed, Mr. Crawford?"

"None," he said, his gaze unwavering.

"What exactly is your business about?"

"We breed, buy and sell pigeons."

"Do you ever cater to restaurants?" Bennet asked.

Crawford shrugged. "Sometimes."

"De Bourgh?"

"Yes, we've done those as well, but not lately."

"Why not?"

"She seems to have found a new supply source," Crawford said with some reluctance.

Bennet narrowed his eyes and tapped the table with his pen. Elizabeth failed to see what he was getting at and felt completely confused, and Fanny2 was too busy trying not to look at Henry Crawford to ask any intelligent questions of their own.

"I warn you, Mr. Crawford, you could be in grave danger. I advise you to stay put."

"Could Fanny not act as some kind of bodyguard?" he asked to Fanny2's great consternation.

"Hmmm," said Bennet. "Not a bad idea. Fanny, go get your things and come back as soon as possible."

"But--"

Bennet gave her a look and she departed. "Elizabeth, you must go to Derbyshire to find out more about Wickham. I'll brief the Gardiners that you're coming. While you're there, try to find out some more about that chap Darcy as well, my sources told me he has a house there called Pemberley."

Part 19

Posted on Monday, 07-Sep-98

So, Elizabeth went to Derbyshire. She met with the Gardiners, a couple she knew well because she had frequently worked with them. She liked them very much. It was almost as if they had become an aunt and uncle to her, and in fact she did pose as their niece to have a valid excuse for visiting them.

"How do we go about visiting Pemberley?" Elizabeth asked.

"Very easy," Mr. Gardiner replied. "It's open to the public."

"How odd, usually criminals do not open their houses to the public," Elizabeth commented. "On the other hand, it might be a good cover because no one will ever suspect they are criminals. When do we go?"

"Tomorrow?" Mrs. Gardiner suggested.

"Are you sure he will be away? I don't particularly feel like being killed or anything."

"Why would he kill you?"

"Because he will think I have come to expose him," Elizabeth explained patiently.

"Now, Elizabeth dear, look at this," Mrs. Gardiner opened her purse and showed her a small handgun, "I have one for you too, if you want it to feel safe."

"Yes, please."

"And we will be with you."

"Great."

They drove to Pemberley the next day. Elizabeth was impressed by its stately grandeur, but her feelings of awe were quickly swept away when her suspicious mind started to think of all the things that could be hidden in all the nooks and crannies of such a big mansion. It wasn't a very busy day and they were the only guests to be shown around by the housekeeper. She continually sang her master's praise, and Elizabeth guessed that she must either be brainwashed, have a very good salary, or be blackmailed. It just could not be that a nephew of Lady Catherine De Bourgh--the world's most notorious ruthless businesswoman annex criminal--was some kind of perfect angel who was generous, kind, and not inclined to cruelty.

When they paused in front of a few paintings, one of Darcy himself, she reflected that it was kind of pretentious to have your picture painted nowadays. He was just like Lady Catherine. No doubt she would have dozens of painted portraits of herself. The only difference was that Darcy's painting was rather agreeable to look at because he was quite good-looking, in a way, if you could just forget his evil nature.

After seeing the house, they made a small tour of the park. Elizabeth admired the beautiful gardens, she felt she could do that, because the owner had probably nothing to do with any of it. It would all be his gardeners' doing. When they came around a bend near the lake, she nearly had a heart attack for various reasons.

Darcy was walking towards her.

He was wearing a swimsuit.

In panic, Elizabeth had gripped the small handgun in her handbag, but she released her hold on it once she realised that he seemed to have no intention of harming her, and that he did not even have a weapon with him. Grudgingly, she admitted that he was quite a sight, tanned and muscled, and dripping wet. She just stood there gaping at his sudden apparition.

He was equally surprised. "Elizabeth," he said finally.

"Mr. Darcy," she said, still sounding shocked.

"How are you?"

She had not expected him to ask that, and it took some time before she was able to formulate a reply. "I am fine, thank you."

They exchanged a few awkward words and then he excused himself. Elizabeth's heart was racing. She wondered if she had just escaped a killer. Oddly enough, he had seemed embarrassed to see her, and not angry or suspicious.

"Was that him?" Mr. Gardiner asked.

She nodded.

"Not bad," Mrs. Gardiner said appreciatively and earned a look form her husband. "Why, he almost looks as good as Mr. Gardiner used to in his young days," she added with a chuckle. "But, Elizabeth, forgive me for saying so, he did not really seem bent on killing you."

"We must go," said Elizabeth urgently. "Let's go before he comes back."

"Why the hurry?"

"I don't want to see him again."

Mrs. Gardiner frowned. There was something that was not quite right here. Elizabeth seemed to think Darcy was a criminal, but from observing him she had not gotten a bad impression of him at all. He had blushed, and she gathered he was rather taken with Elizabeth. She wondered what had happened at their previous meetings, but Elizabeth was as closed as an oyster about that, and Darcy had been equally uncommunicative.

Mrs. Gardiner knew Darcy well, she had recruited him several years ago when Lady Catherine had first shown signs of having insane ambitions. It had been totally hush-hush, only her husband knew about it, but she felt that it was vital that she had some inside pawns. Darcy was not the only person within Lady Catherine's sphere working for them.

They walked back slowly, and of course they saw him again, fully dressed this time. He must have dressed very quickly, Mrs. Gardiner mused. He came towards them and introduced himself to Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. They had an amiable conversation for a while, and he invited them over. They graciously accepted the invitation and they left, the Gardiners suspecting romantic developments, and Elizabeth pondering over Darcy's change in personality, and no longer so sure of his villainness.

Part 20

Posted on Saturday, 19-Sep-98

While Elizabeth and the Gardiners were at Pemberley, and Fanny2 was guarding Henry Crawford, the Nun received another email from [e-mail]. He clicked on the message and read it.

Wickham.
10 - Brighton
first payment 20.000
last payment 30.000

He nodded appreciatively. Wickham's demise would be a gift to the world. He wondered if Lady Catherine was getting nervous -- he had received so many assignments lately that it was hardly doable. He had had to subcontract a few, even, but he was usually quick, and he had ten days for this assignment. "Off to Brighton," he said cheerfully.

The Nun stopped his car in a lonely place and changed into a habit. He put on a pair of glasses and hid his hands in his sleeves. It was better to continue on foot, because it would be rather awkward if he were stopped by the police and had to show them the driver's license made out in one of his fake names.

The night before he had rung Wickham to arrange a meeting in a church, pretending to be Mr. Collins. Mr. Collins was an ex-clergyman who had been removed from his office for fiddling with both the profits of the church jumble sale and the church cleaner, so it was perfectly plausible that he would suggest a meeting in a church.

It was a church open to the public, and the Nun arrived early to check it out. It was perfect, because there were some lovely niches and pillars that could hide the action from the view of the few tourists and pious. He knelt down in the last row and said the rosary.

Sitting in the last row gave him a good view of anyone who passed, because most people walked to the front, as did Wickham. He got up and slowly walked behind the pillars until he was level with Wickham. Wickham looked around for Collins, and when he did not see him he walked towards one of the niches.

"Perfect," the Nun muttered and he gripped his dart.

Wickham turned and saw him. His eyes grew large. "You!" he exclaimed.

"Plof!" And the deed was done and Wickham's body sagged to the floor

"Veni, vidi, cecidi," the Nun said. "Mundus requiescat in pacem."

He left the church at a leisurely pace, taking care not to walk too close to short people, or his height would be noticed. Reaching his car, he took off his habit and drove back to where he came from, stopping along the way to make a short phone call.

"It's done," he said to the person on the other side. "I have almost run out of the stuff. I think I can do two more, but that's it."

Maybe that's enough, but let me know in advance.

"Sure."

What was your payment this time?

"Fifty thousand."

Nice, nice. I shall see to it that you get a little bonus.

"Oh, yay," the Nun said dryly. "With the emphasis on little, I suppose?" He hung up and left the phone booth. Suddenly he changed his mind and went back to dial another number. "Hello darling, do you remember me? What's for dinner?" and he chatted to wife for a while.

"Lydia told me Wickham was killed in Brighton," Bennet warned Fanny2 over the telephone. "Be careful. It is not unthinkable that the Nun may be after Henry Crawford as well, so you must not let him out of your sight."

"Even at night?" she shrieked.

"Yes."

"Oh Bennet! Can't you put anyone else on the job?" Fanny2 complained. "What if he tries to make a pass at me?"

"Enjoy it." He put down the phone.

"How are Jane and Kitty doing?"

"Kitty is upset with you because you keep her here in Meryton," his secretary Fanny answered, "and Jane has been digging up information in London."

"Anything useful?"

"Not yet. Mary is still cross-checking it. I talked to the Gardiners -- they met Darcy."

"I know."

"He is on their payroll."

"I know."

"Argh!" Fanny cried in frustration. "Is there anything you do not know?"

"If it's any consolation to you, I found it out this morning when I called them. I think it's time to call Elizabeth back. She has no business at Pemberley when Darcy is a good guy and Wickham a dead guy. She's needed in Meryton."

Part 21

Posted on Sunday, 20-Sep-98

Elizabeth had not yet received the order to return to Meryton because she had not checked her email. She had been too preoccupied to do so, because of Darcy's invitation. The evening of the day Wickham was killed Elizabeth and the Gardiners were to dine at Pemberley. They arrived there early, noticing that the hosts and most of the other guests had just arrived from somewhere themselves.

Elizabeth and Darcy were getting along very nicely, but it was a pity that dinner was such an interrupted event. First Mrs. Gardiner's mobile went off, causing some confusion because everyone seemed to be carrying one and nobody knew which one the sound came from. Mr. Gardiner guessed that it was one of her spy boys, because she moved away from the table to have some privacy. His wife had a whole arsenal of spy boys.

Shortly afterwards Mr. Hurst decided he had to make a phone call, and he moved to the opposite side of the room.

As if this was not quite enough, Louisa Hurst's and Caroline Bingley's mobiles rang also. Elizabeth was amazed that everyone carried such a thing. Bennet forbade her to, because it was not safe. She rolled her eyes at Mr. Gardiner. "When does yours go off?"

He laughed and pointed at his wife. "It already did. We share one."

Elizabeth occupied herself with listening in on Louisa and Caroline. "I'm at Pemberley," Caroline was saying. "Oh. Yes. Yes. Oh." Elizabeth thought Caroline was holding a particularly interesting conversation and turned her attention to Louisa who was apparently arranging a meeting with someone, but not on Fridays because she had aerobics classes then. Elizabeth mischievously wondered if Mr. Hurst was actually calling his wife, because her phone had rung as soon as he had dialed his.

To his great annoyance, Darcy was also called away for a phone call when everybody else had hung up, and he excused himself. All the callers and called looked extremely pleased with their calls, especially Mrs. Gardiner, and Elizabeth surmised that everyone had received some good news.

"My cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam will be joining us tomorrow," Darcy announced as he returned.

Elizabeth grinned. She liked him and remembered that she called him a babe. Georgiana looked pleased as well and Mrs. Gardiner looked interested. She wondered why. Does she not know he is in the service? I'll tell her later.

Darcy saw her grin and got worried. "Do you like my cousin, Elizabeth?"

"Sure, he's adorable," she smiled.

Caroline gave her a very disapproving look and Darcy looked sheepish. Elizabeth grinned even more. "Adorability runs in the family, I guess," she said to him in a low voice, and his face brightened.

Later that evening, when everybody was doing their own thing, many emails were sent.

Subject: Tomorrow
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:19:02 +0200
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

What time will you arrive?

Subject: Tonight
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:21:26 +0200
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

I hope you enjoyed it.

Subject: Re: Tomorrow
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:23:04 +0200
From: r. fitzwilliam <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

Fitzwilliam Darcy wrote:
>
>What time will you arrive?

tea time? I have some things to take care of first.

Subject: Re: Job
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:28:14 +0200
From: The Nun <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

Collins wrote:
>Wickham.
>10 - Brighton
>first payment 20.000
>last payment 30.000

done

Subject: Re: Re: Tomorrow
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:28:32 +0200
From: Fitzwilliam Darcy <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

>Fitzwilliam Darcy wrote:
>>
>>What time will you arrive?

r.fitzwilliam wrote:
>
>tea time? I have some things to take care of first.

OK. what's her name?

Subject: money
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:30:01 +0200
From: hurst <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

came into some money today. can finally pay you back.

Subject: business...
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:30:59 +0200
From: r. fitzwilliam <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

I had some other business to take care of today, but do you think we could take care of ours before tea time tomorrow?

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Tomorrow
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:33:55 +0200
From: r. fitzwilliam <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

Business!

&none of yours ;-P

Subject: hurst & money
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:36:41 +0200
From: charles b <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

where did hurst get that money from
he offered to pay me back!!!

Subject: Re: business...
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:36:59 +0200
From: someone<"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

r. fitzwilliam wrote:
>I had some other business to take care of today, but do you think we could take care of ours before >tea time tomorrow?

I guess so. I'll be there.

Subject: The Nun
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:37:32 +0200
From: Gardiner <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

Hi Fanny, you can tell Bennet that I have just received word that Wickham has been eliminated today.
M.G.

Subject: Re: hurst & money
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 21:39:41 +0200
From: Caroline R. B.<"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

Hurst and money? Odd...

Part 22

Posted on Tuesday, 22-Sep-98

Elizabeth turned on her laptop the next morning and checked her email. She had several messages, and decided to read Darcy's first. She smiled when she read it, but she couldn't think of a reply, so she clicked on Fanny's first mail.

Subject: Come back
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1998 15:44:41 +0200
From: Fanny <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

Bennet calls you back to Longbourn straight away. There is no reason to stay in Lambton. You're needed here.
Fanny.

"Why?" she whined. "I wonder what that next mail is about."

Subject: Emergency
Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 07:09:52 +0200
From: Fanny <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

Emergency. Lydia has disappeared. We fear the worst. Return at once.
Fanny.

"Lydia?" she cried. "Oh no!"

Darcy arrived to find her packing in a frenzy. She was not actually getting anything done, merely making a big mess.

"What is wrong?" he asked.

"I have been called back. Lydia has disappeared. I know they fear she has been killed!" The tears ran freely. "She was like a little sister to me!"

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, no."

"Where are the Gardiners?" Darcy looked around.

"They are out. I will have to tell them before I go. I can't leave before they get back and I am in such a hurry!"

"I can do that for you. You can go. I'm sorry you won't be able to visit us at Pemberley today."

"So am I," she said sadly. Finally she had packed all her things. "I must go."

"Bye," he said.

Elizabeth left and he waited for the Gardiners to return. They arrived after an hour or so, very worried about Lydia, whom they knew well also. "Darcy, I think they could use you," Mr. Gardiner said.

"Use me?"

"Yes. You have a lot of connections," Mrs. Gardiner added. "You might be able to find out what has happened to the girl, and besides, you have absolutely nothing to do here, except to hold fancy dinner parties."

Darcy was happy that his superior allowed him to do something and he grinned. "With good food though, wouldn't you say, Mrs. Gardiner?"

"Excellent food. Now get moving."

"Yes, ma'am!"

While Darcy was getting ready for the action, Colonel Fitzwilliam was entertaining a mysterious visitor at his home, and Mr. Hurst was depositing a sum of money at the bank, Lady Catherine held a short conference with Collins.

"It is time for the final action. Send word to our minions to place the bombs in Parliament Friday. That will show them not to mess with me. It is time that my demands were met."

"Yes, Lady Catherine," Collins bowed. "Does Your Ladyship have any other wishes?"

"Eliminate the Nun. No one must know who ordered all those deaths."

"How?" Collins squeaked.

"I leave that up to you, but if he is not dead by Friday you know whose head will be rolling."

"I don't know who he is!" Collins protested in fear.

"Find out. Are you stupid or something?"

Part 23

Posted on Thursday, 24-Sep-98

At three o'clock in the afternoon two cars pulled up in front of the house. Colonel Fitzwilliam alighted from one and Caroline from the other. "I don't see Darcy's car," he said to her.

She frowned. "It is a bit daft to invite you to tea and then leave."

They went inside and Georgiana told them that Darcy had been called away on an emergency.

"He's not a doctor, is he?" Caroline said. "What is the emergency for?"

"He didn't say," Georgiana said. "I'm sorry. His emergencies are always rather hush-hush and he never tells me about them."

"Are you free tonight?" the Colonel asked Caroline with an engaging smile.

"Yes."

"Let's go and have some fun then. I give you leave to hold a pyjama party with your friends or something, Georgiana," her cousin said, "because I deprive you of one of your guests." He handed her some money. "Have fun too."

Darcy questioned some of his informants, and he found out that Brighton was the place where Lydia had been seen last. He had heard that Wickham had been assassinated there, of course, and he wondered if the two cases were somehow connected. Wickham had been stationed in Meryton as well, and it was not unthinkable that Lydia had met him, he thought.

He went to see his Brighton informant, and learned that Lydia has visited her two days ago, but that she had not showed up for their second appointment. He found out the name of her hotel and walked over.

"Lydia Bennet?" he inquired of the receptionist. Bennet was the name all of Bennet's team used when they were on a job.

"Sorry, sir. She hasn't been in since yesterday morning," the receptionist told him after checking her books.

"Have you any idea where she went?"

"No, sir."

"Did she not ask for directions to anywhere?" he asked.

"No, sir."

He walked out of the hotel again, seemingly. He had caught a glimpse of Lydia's room number, 149, and he walked around to enter through the back door. Unseen by the receptionist he went up to the first floor to Lydia's room. Picking the lock was easy, and he closed the door behind him as he looked around the room. It was pretty chaotic, and he started with some papers lying on the table. They were unimportant, and his eye fell on Lydia's laptop. He opened it and turned it on. She had a message from Wickham in her mailbox, and he read that Wickham had had a meeting with Lydia in the house he was staying in. Darcy copied the address and left the hotel.

Subject: Meeting
Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1998 15:21:14 +0200
From: Collins <"[e-mail]">
To: [e-mail]

I would like a meeting. I shall leave it up to you to suggest a date and a place, but I would appreciate it if it could be before Friday, if at all possible with your schedule.
Your humble servant,
William Collins

Fanny2 had to share a room with Henry Crawford and he embarrassed her no end by reading poetry out loud when they were in bed -- they had a room with two single beds. He kept her from sleep all the time with all of his questions about what she liked and where she had been. She was not really grateful to Bennet for this assignment, and yet, she had to admit that Henry was not always annoying. She had to be even more alert now that both his associates had been killed. He could well be on the Nun's hit-list, so they had to keep Henry's whereabouts concealed.

Meanwhile, some of Collins' underlings and corrupted soldiers were busy fabricating bombs with the materials that had disappeared from various army bases.

Elizabeth had returned to Longbourn for a hectic meeting. Everybody had been called back, because things were going to happen, as Bennet put it. They were all ready for action and Bennet announced that he himself would go in search of Lydia, as the others could not be missed.

Part 24

Posted on Monday, 28-Sep-98

Colonel Fitzwilliam had taken Caroline to one of his aunt's restaurants. After dinner they had settled themselves on his couch with a bottle of wine.

Collins anxiously checked his email every thirty minutes for a reply from the Nun, but none came. He was getting desperate already. How could he kill the man, or woman, if he did not know who it was? He would be replaced if he did not succeed. Perhaps he could make a deal with the assassin. But then he got an idea. Somehow it had to be possible to see which computer the emails came from. He picked up a phone and dialed the number of a computer wizard.

Darcy arrived at the house Wickham had been staying in. He observed it from the outside and saw all the curtains were drawn. It was rather unusual. He did not ring the bell. There was no need to advertise his presence. He went round the back and climbed over a wall. With a thud he landed in the garden and immediately pressed his back against the house. No one came. Darcy tried the back door. It was locked, but he was an experienced lock picker. He swung the door open and stepped into the kitchen. Quietly he checked the rooms with his gun in his right hand. There was no one downstairs. Even more quietly he climbed the stairs. One of the rooms upstairs was locked, but the key hung on a hook beside the door. He turned it in the lock and opened the door. He stepped inside and something hit him on the head. It all went black.

"Yeah!" Lydia cried triumphantly. She had been practicing this in her mind, and she was very happy that it had really worked. The crook lay sprawled out on the floor, and she stepped over him, turning back to pick up his gun to take it with her. She walked out of the house and back to her hotel, where she packed all her belongings and was just ready to set off for Longbourn when Bennet called.

"Yes, I'm all right. I escaped," Lydia told him.

"Wickham's dead."

"He told me he was blackmailing Lady Catherine because of the pigeon scandal."

"Interesting. That might have something to do with his death. Did he tell you anything?"

"No. Yes. He suspected Edmund Bertram of being the Nun."

"Edmund Bertram? Highly unlikely."

"I don't know why."

"Stay there, Lydia. Check out that church again, and where he might have parked his car and all that."

She unpacked her things again since Bennet had ordered her to stay in Brighton for the time being.

Darcy regained consciousness. His head hurt, and he groaned. He wondered who had hit him. Whoever it was had not thought it necessary to lock him up or kill him. It had probably been Lydia. "Ungrateful girl," he muttered. "I come to rescue her and look what she does to me. She even took my gun."

He called Mrs. Gardiner. "I found her, I think, but she hit me over the head and got away." Mrs. Gardiner laughed at his tone. "Sure, laugh."

"I have had some alarming news from Longbourn. Charlotte has intercepted some of Collins' phone calls. He is having the Nun's emails traced."

"Why is that alarming?" Darcy was surprised.

"I think he has been ordered to eliminate the Nun."

"So?"

"I do not want that."

"Why not? He's a killer."

"I have my reasons. I also believe your cousin is in danger. Can you come back straight away?"

Darcy was worried. "Sure."

"Keep a very close eye on Collins."

"OK."

The Nun and his wife of three months were woken up by the sound of the phone ringing. He answered it, listened, and put it down again with a frown. "What was it?" his wife asked sleepily and a little annoyed.

"Get dressed as quickly as you can," he ordered. "We are leaving."

"What? Now?"

"Yes, now." He kissed her. "Everything will be all right. Just do as I say."

Part 25

Posted on Saturday, 03-Oct-98

Darcy had sped to Hunsford to keep an eye on Collins, but once he got there, he discovered that the slimeball had already left and nobody knew where he had gone. This was indeed a setback and Darcy remembered Mrs. Gardiner's words about his cousin possibly being in danger. He wonder what Colonel Fitzwilliam had gotten himself into. He did not tell Darcy much about what he was doing, having a higher rank. Darcy drove to the Colonel's house. On his way over he encountered Caroline's car and he wondered what it was doing there just before dawn. Could Caroline be Fitzwilliam latest flame? Darcy shuddered.

Darcy parked his car outside of the gates and walked down the path. His cousin's car was still there, but there was also another car. Collins. Darcy froze. What is Collins doing here? Wasn't he supposed to eliminate the Nun? Is Caroline the Nun? He advanced with caution and took out his gun. The door was half open and he entered. He heard Collins move upstairs and calling, "Fitzwilliam, where are you, you villain?"

Fitzwilliam a villain?

"I know you are the Nun, you killer! Come to Collins, baby. You can't escape me!"

Darcy almost dropped his gun. Fitzwilliam is the Nun? No! That can't be. That stupid Collins must be mistaken. Fitzwilliam obviously isn't here. He had to confer with Mrs. Gardiner on this one, and he ran out of the house. He started his car and drove back to Pemberley.

Lydia checked out the church where Wickham was killed. She saw how easy it had been to do something like that unnoticed with all the niches. She sat down on one of the benches next to an old woman. "I come here every day," said the woman. "There was a man killed in here a few days ago. Very bad."

"Did you see it happen?"

"Oh, no."

"I have heard it was done by a nun," Lydia said. "Perhaps you saw her."

"A nun? There are many nuns here. I know most of them, except that tall one."

"A tall one?"

"Yes, very tall. Like a man. She almost pushed me over near the door. Very rude, not at all nun-like."

"Maybe it was a man after all. Where did he go?"

"To the left, like me, but she walked much faster than I did and I did not see her anymore when I reached the bridge."

"Thank you. You have been most helpful." Lydia left the church and turned left. She walked down the street until she came to a bridge. This was where the old woman had lost sight of the nun. Over the bridge she turned right, because that seemed a more deserted area. She was right, because she was soon out of town and she saw many places where someone could park a car and change into a habit. Lydia was not sure what to do with all of this information. All she had found out was that the Nun was tall and had a car, probably.

Darcy arrived at Pemberley and was met by his cousin. "What are you doing here?" Darcy yelled. "I think you have some explaining to do! What was Collins doing at your place?"

"I do not, Major Darcy. May I remind you that I am your superior?"

Darcy glared at his cousin. He never pulled rank with him. "I was ordered to keep an eye on you."

"Well, you were late, weren't you? If we hadn't left, we could have been killed."

"Who are we?"

Colonel Fitzwilliam ignored him. "All we should care about is removing our aunt. Let's go to your study and discuss what can be done. Things are about to get out of hand if we do not act quickly."

Part 26

Posted on Wednesday, 28-Oct-98

Mrs. Gardiner tapped her pen on the table. "One, we need to eliminate Collins. He is a loose cannon. Two, something must be done about Lady Catherine. Some of my agents have already taken care of branches of her organisation, but the people closest to her and she herself are still active."

"What about the Nun?" Darcy asked. "Who is it? Collins was looking for her, him, whatever."

"Let us not worry about the Nun," said Mrs. Gardiner. "He is on my payroll."

"What?" Darcy cried. He stared at his cousin. "So it is you!"

Colonel Fitzwilliam saluted and his fingers made a shooting gesture. "Poow!"

"What else don't I know about you?"

"Some more things concerning my family life that I shall not go into now because they have no bearing on the case whatsoever."

"Well," Mrs. Gardiner continued. "Mary has dug up some evidence that Lady Catherine actually broke the law in some instances, so we can get her arrested."

"Will that help?" the Colonel asked doubtfully. "No doubt she will run her empire from prison, or worse, she will not even get sentenced."

"We shall see," said Mrs. Gardiner enigmatically. She counted on Lady Catherine to leave Rosings in a coffin or an ambulance. Undoubtedly they would have to storm Rosings, and it was more than natural that there might be some casualties on the other side when the villains would try to escape. "I do not think the nun trick would work on Collins anymore, so we had better call in your apprentice. Where is she at the moment? Can she be here tomorrow?"

"She's in Gdynia."

"You have an apprentice?" Darcy asked incredulously.

"Sure. I can't be everywhere at the same time. I subcontracted some contracts to someone with the perfect cover: she is a law-student."

In Bennet's office meanwhile, he was instructing his team about the course of action to be followed. "Everybody to Kent."

"What is going to happen?" Elizabeth asked.

"The Grand Finale," Lydia ranted.

"Exactly. We are going to put an end to this forever," said Bennet.

"May we first know who is suspect and who isn't, before we accidentally shoot them?" Jane asked.

"Everybody connected to Rosings is bad," said Bennet.

"Uhh," said Elizabeth. "Not quite."

"What do you mean?"

She took him aside. "Darcy is in the service and so is Colonel Fitzwilliam."

"How long have you known this?" Bennet demanded.

"Well, ever since I first went to Kent. He told me so."

"Elizabeth! I hope you had a very good reason to withhold such evidence from me."

"He...he...offered me his help but I turned it down because I did not like him."

"Since when do you let your personal feelings interfere with your job?" he asked severely. "This might have saved us time!"

"I'm sorry."

"We shall discuss this later in more detail," he warned her. They returned to the others. "Correction. Darcy and Fitzwilliam do not belong to the bad guys."

Part 27

Posted on Sunday, 3 January 1999

Everybody went to Kent for the total wipe-out. All agents had been summoned, even some people they had never seen, or they had never suspected of being colleagues.

"Have you booked us rooms, Charlotte?" Mrs. Gardiner asked when she and her many spy-boys arrived. Bennet and his spy-girls were already there.

"Yes, though some people will have to share because this Inn is not big enough to accommodate all of us."

"No problem, Aunt Gardiner," Henry Crawford said cheerfully. "Fanny and I are used to it now, aren't we, Fan?"

"I wish you would not call me Fan," Fanny2 said stiffly. "And I still am not used to it, thank you very much."

Elizabeth, who had just seen a James Bond film, was ready to believe she was in the middle of one. Darcy looked very neat in his suit when he stepped out of his car in front of the Inn. She wondered if his car was gadgeted too. Fortunately he did not have any women with him, because that would have made her a little jealous.

"Where is that Colonel of yours?" Bennet asked Mrs. Gardiner. "He is the only one who isn't here yet."

"Oh, there he is," Mrs. Gardiner said, nodding towards the entrance where somebody was having the greatest trouble in tearing his mouth away from a woman with sunglasses and a short dress. "Colonel!" she yelled authoritatively, and he raised his hand in acknowledgment but continued kissing.

"This is a James Bond film," Elizabeth said to Darcy. "I always thought they sketched a much too romantic picture of our profession, you know."

"Does that mean you'd never start anything with a colleague?" he asked with some disappointment.

"Well..."

Colonel Fitzwilliam finally joined them, and Mrs. Gardiner gave him a disapproving look. "Wipe that lipstick off your face and act professional. We have been waiting for you for ages."

"Have some compassion for those of us who are unfortunate to marry outside of the service," he complained. "You can kiss Mr. Gardiner anytime you want, even while in the middle of the action, but I..." he sighed.

Mrs. Gardiner gave him a strange look. "All right," she said briskly. "We are gathered here today to put an end to the devious and criminal activities of Lady Catherine De Bourgh."

"Hear, hear," said somebody.

"We have enough evidence to have her arrested. However, we are not in the position to do so, and we should not reveal ourselves to the police. We shall have them informed after we have taken action."

"We would prefer to do away with her altogether, you mean?" Jane asked. "Isn't that a bit..."

"Oh Jane!" Elizabeth cried. "She's evil. Oh, sorry, Fitzwilliam. She's your aunt."

"No problem," said both Fitzwilliams at the same time.

"We are not too fond of her," the Colonel said. "Sometimes a person must sacrifice his family for world peace. It's good thing that the family members to sacrifice in this case are also the least loved."

"Okay, Colonel," said Mrs. Gardiner sarcastically. "Now that you have informed all of us of the many sacrifices you've had to make to be present here, let us start with the plan. We shall infiltrate the grounds after dark, and I shall divide you into small groups."

Darcy gave Elizabeth a hopeful look, which she returned.

Henry Crawford gave Fanny2 a hopeful look, which she did not return.

"One group shall enter through the front gate, one group through the back gate, and two climb over the walls on the sides to eliminate patrolling guards. We oldies," she indicated herself, Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Bennet, "shall enter through the front gate. I must confer with Bennet about the composition of the other groups, however, and I will let you all know after dinner what we have worked out. Everyone is free to go to their rooms now until dinner. Here's the list with the room numbers. Some of you will have to share, but you're allowed to pick your own roommates."

Part 28

Posted on Monday, 4 January 1999

The agents crowded around the list of room numbers and available beds per room. "I wish I had stayed home," Darcy complained. "I'll be roomed with Fitzwilliam again, and he always leaves the bathroom in such a mess. He also crams the room with all of his beauty cases."

"Yeah, my beauty cases," the Colonel grinned. "They contain my tools of the trade," he said, referring to his guns, rifle, and poisoned darts kit.

"Room for three," Charlotte called.

"Lydia, Kitty and Jane!" Lydia answered, and she grabbed the key before anyone could protest.

"Another room for three."

"Me and the Henrys," Darcy spoke up quickly.

"Heck, Darcy!" Henry Crawford complained. "I wanted to go with Fanny."

"It's Fanny2 you mean, Henry2," Henry Tilney said. "Fanny is Bennet's assistant, Henry is me." They disappeared after Darcy, bickering about who had the most right to the name of plain Henry, and who would have to settle for Henry2.

"Let me see," said Charlotte. "That leaves Elizabeth, Fanny2, and Colonel Fitzwilliam and me? For two double rooms?"

"We're going to have to do some shuffling," said Fanny2, who feared she would be teamed with the Colonel, since Charlotte and Elizabeth were such good friends. "Does any of you want to share with Darcy or the Henrys?"

"No need!" the Colonel waved. "I already have a room," he said in a half whisper to Fanny2. "If I could just officially share with you, I'll unofficially share with my wife and I won't be any bother. Just keep a good eye on my bags, and don't tell anyone."

"I suppose this means you'll be late for dinner," Fanny2 said with an unusual touch of sarcasm.

"Oh no," he said innocently. "She has been buzzed back to work because there is an emergency, or a disaster looming, or something like that. She's not here. What a coincidence, eh! That her work and mine are being in a state of emergency at the same time."

Hmmm, Fanny2 thought.

"Well?" Charlotte said impatiently. "How do we split up?"

"You go with Elizabeth," said Fanny2.

"Okay."

When all the agents were upstairs, running to and fro to compare bathrooms and the size of the TV, their superiors sat discussing the attack.

"We'll have a Henry and a Fitzwilliam scale the wall on either side," Mr. Gardiner suggested. "It's better to keep the namesakes apart to prevent them from fighting among themselves. The girls can enter through the back gate, storm in through the kitchen and eliminate the guards or whatever they may find there. We can ring at the front gate as a diversion, pretending that we've come to make a deal."

"We'll encounter some serious assistance. Perhaps one of us is acting as Lady Catherine's informer. She's got one, we know that for sure, but as yet we haven't been able to find out who it is," Bennet warned.

"You never told me that, Bennet," Mrs. Gardiner said with narrowed eyes.

"I was never sure, but the movements of my girls were always tracked. Too much of a coincidence, wouldn't you say?"

"So, Bennet," Mrs. Gardiner said slowly. "Chances are that our little plan will leak out to Rosings?"

"It is not impossible." Bennet smiled an enigmatic smile, however. "But you know I always have some agents tucked away for rainy days, and this case is no exception. You know I never show the back of my tongue."

"The airforce," Mr. Gardiner guessed.

"The navy?" Mrs. Gardiner frowned.

Bennet said nothing. He only smiled.

Part 29

Posted on Wednesday, 6 January 1999

"Mrs. Gardiner?" a waitress inquired. "There is a phone call for you."

Mrs. Gardiner rose and followed the waitress to the phone. She talked briefly, thanked the caller and hung up. "It is as you though, Bennet," she said in a somber voice. "Someone spilled the beans and Lady Catherine is gone."

"Damn," said Bennet.

"Are you going to call in your extras?"

"I have to make a few phone calls," Bennet announced. He walked out of the Inn to a public phone booth where he could not be overheard. He dialed a few numbers and asked them all the same question until he received a positive answer. "I'll be sending someone over to help you, Captain Wentworth."

"They keep a good watch out. Nobody will arrive."

"And through the air?"

"No airport."

"How about a parachute?" Bennet asked.

"That might work, and if my assistant could land right on my yacht, it would be completely perfect."

"Phone Fanny with your position in half an hour, and she'll arrange the dropping," Bennet said, and hung up. Now all he needed was somebody reliable. All of his agents were occupied or stuck here, and the risk of leaking another plan was too great. Suddenly he thought of his old Airforce friend. He dialed his number. "Sorry to bother you, old pal, but we've got an emergency here. Could you lend me one of your people who can jump out of planes and who is generally reliable?"

"Well," said his friend. "Most are involved with other cases, but I could call one back from leave, if you wish."

"Please do."

"Unless this is about Lady Catherine De Bourgh?"

"How did you guess?" Bennet asked.

"Well, there's not much else happening at the moment. I have Captain Bingley on the case. Knows how to jump out of planes too."

"Can I borrow your Captain?"

"Sure."

"Good," said Bennet in relief. "I'll have Fanny work out a dropping arrangement, so if you could brief your Captain? Fanny will contact you and Bingley later to tell all."

"Sure."

"I owe you one."

"Sure."

Bennet called Fanny, and then he returned to the Inn. He assembled everyone in what everyone called the boys' room, and he informed them that there was to be no raid today. Meanwhile he and the Gardiners observed everyone's facial expression very closely. They saw nothing. Nobody looked suspicious.

"Do we know where she has gone?" Darcy asked.

"No," Bennet lied. If he said they did, they'd ask him where, and why they were not going there. He could not say that it was unnecessary without revealing that there were more agents on the case, and potentially threatening the lives of those agents. It was too dangerous with an informer in their midst. Let Lady Catherine think that she was safe.

Part 30

Posted on Wednesday, 10 March 1999

While Bennet and the Gardiners were trying to find out who had spilled the beans to Lady Catherine, Captains Wentworth and Bingley were just getting acquainted before embarking on their secret mission. Wentworth had come in a motor yacht, and he was now trying to locate the figure that had jumped out of the plane some time before. Suddenly he noticed him among the trees, but all he saw was a pair of legs. The upper half of his temporary partner's body was hidden under the parachute. Wentworth shook his head angrily at such stupidity. Apparently the person had not noticed Wentworth's arrival. Did this idiot not know that he was an easy target this way? And he had to work with this clever specimen of mankind! He decided to teach him a lesson. "Freeze! I'm pointing a gun at you!" The person under the parachute froze. "Now take it off!" Wentworth ordered. He enjoyed this, actually. It was not often that he got to play on land.

"What do you think I've been trying to do for the past half hour?" the parachutist said in a muffled voice.

"Slowly!"

"Are you stupid?" the muffled voice said again. "I'm stuck."

Wentworth had to help, and he uncovered a woman, to his great surprise. "I don't need you. You've got to go," he said in a decided tone. He could not use two partners, and least of all a woman who looked like she had no idea how to hold a gun, let alone make her way into a fortified mansion.

"What?" cried the woman indignantly. "You already have a partner? Why did I get orders to go here then? As if I don't have anything better to do!" She thought of her rudely interrupted romantic weekend.

"I was told I was going to get Captain Bingley."

"So?"

"So? Who are you?"

"I am Captain Bingley," the woman said icily.

"You have got to be kidding," said Wentworth in disgust. He had never worked with a female colleague before, and his opinion of them as a valuable partner was consequently not very high. Certainly Headquarters could not have sent him a woman? It was impossible. She had to be an impostor. "Show me some ID or I'll call Bennet to ask your name."

"Don't call him! And ID is going to be difficult."

"Why?"

"I didn't marry a person with the same last name as mine, so it might not tell you anything. It's all very complicated. I was investigating this person, see, and I married him, but nobody knows, and my husband doesn't know I was investigating him either. Something nasty is going to happen when people find out about my marriage and my job," Captain Bingley said with a sigh. "They might think I'm not impartial or objective, you know."

"Fine mess you're in, Captain. Why should I believe you?" Wentworth was still holding his gun.

"Look, Captain. We are here with a common goal: the destruction of Lady Catherine De Bourgh. We are not going to accomplish anything by fighting amongst ourselves."

"How will I know I can trust you?"

Bingley handed him a plastic card. "You might recognise this."

"It does say Bingley!" Wentworth exclaimed indignantly. "You were acting as if it didn't!"

"Yes, of course," she said sweetly. "I was just testing the extent of your male chauvinism."

"Aren't we going to take any action?" Darcy asked his superior when she looked in on the card game that was going on in one of the guys' rooms.

Mrs. Gardiner shook her head. "Patience is --"

"-- something we are running out of!" Colonel Fitzwilliam added. "We want to do something." Both Henrys agreed by nodding their heads. "Who knows what the woman might do if you don't keep an eye on her. Before you know it she might wipe this whole hotel out with us in it. Or worse, she might even take over the country."

Mrs. Gardiner smiled mysteriously. "I promise that there will be some action for you boys in the next 24 hours."

"After you found out where Lady Catherine is hiding, that is," Darcy stated. "Why can't we do that? I'm bored to death in this stupid hotel. I've tried all their tea varieties at least twice already."

"We know where she is."

"You do?" the four men exclaimed in unison. "Let's go then!"

"No. Not until we find out who's been passing on crucial information. We have a mole." The four all looked alarmed, and Mrs. Gardiner could not see any signs of guilt, but she had not expected to. She would find out soon enough. Meanwhile, she hoped that those agents of Bennet's could manage by themselves for another few hours.

Part 31

Posted on Thursday, 11 March 1999

Bennet and Gardiner felt it was time for everybody to move to the south coast, where Lady Catherine had a seaside mansion. "New arrivals will be noticed. I heard they are keeping a close watch on the roads."

"What do we do? Do you have people in place?"

"I do."

"Who?"

Bennet shook his head enigmatically. "I can't tell you that. They are infiltrating. To reveal their identities and whereabouts would jeopardise their mission. I have another plan, though," he said and he started to reveal the plan. This plan was agreed to, and they began informing their team in Spy Chat.

B &G 13:43:08
FW, are you ready to raid?

Cpt B. 13:43:47
Yes. We go in at 23:57. I calculated the time between the patrols, and 23:57 is the perfect time. We should reach the kitchen at 00:00 approx.

Colonel 13:44:08
Who the heck is Cpt B.? Or FW?

B &G 13:44:23
Colonel, they're the ones you'll be meeting in the kitchen. 00:00, note that down.

FW 13:44:29
Yes, we are ready to raid.

FW 13:44:40
Damn! Cpt B., that was addressed to ME!

B & G 13:44:56
Rest of group will deal with the guards. FW and Cpt B., we have two agents on the premises who will welcome you once you get inside the house.

F. D. 13:45:11
I heard from Her that she has ordered the nun to eliminate you all.

Cpt B. 13:45:36
I heard from Her that she has ordered the nun to eliminate you all.

If the Nun does that, I'll eliminate the Nun.

Colonel 13:45:54
I heard from Her that she has ordered the nun to eliminate you all.

I heard the same. I also heard he was not satisfied with the offered payment ;)

Charlotte 13:45:59
So, B & G, you have back-up we don't know anything about?

B & G 13:46:13
Yes.

B & G 13:47:00
Since I can talk to the rest of you in person, I'll instruct you later.

F. D. 13:47:22
Umm...be careful while you raid. I wouldn't like to be mistaken for a villain and get killed, you know.

Lizzy 13:47:51
Umm...be careful while you raid. I wouldn't like to be mistaken for a villain and get killed, you know.

Naww, that would be a waste of a perfectly good man :)

The Nun joined the chat at 13:47:52

F. D. 13:48:12
WHAT???

B & G 13:48:25
It's the Nun! guys, exit NOW!

Colonel 13:48:33
Hahahaha!

Mr. Collins joined the chat at 13:48:42

B & G 13:48:45
All out!

B & G left the chat at 13:48:50

Cpt B. left the chat at 13:48:56

Lyd & Kit left the chat at 13:48:57

Fanny2 left the chat at 13:49:02

Fanny_Fan left the chat at 13:49:05

Charlotte left the chat at 13:49:06

HenryT left the chat at 13:49:09

Janey left the chat at 13:49:15

FW left the chat at 13:49:16

Mr. Collins 13:49:17
Mr/Ms Nun, I have a new offer. 50 thousand per capita.

The Nun 13:49:30
No.

Fitzie_Fan joined the chat at 13:49:32

Colonel 13:49:39
Sweetie!

Fitzie_Fan 13:49:44
Darling! *kisses Colonel*

Mr. Collins 13:49:47
U reject the offer, Mr/Ms nun?

The Nun 13:50:05
U reject the offer, Mr/Ms nun?

the only receiving good offers here seems to be Mr/Ms Colonel!

Mr. Collins 13:50:26
the only receiving good offers here seems to be Mr/Ms Colonel!

*kisses The Nun*
accept?

Fitzie_Fan 13:50:27
My business is taking me a little longer than planned, but you'll see me soon!

Colonel 13:51:04
Darling! *kisses Colonel*

I hate cybersex ;)

F. D. 13:51:26
Fitzie_fan, which one of us are you fan of?

Colonel 13:51:44
Still here, F.D.? Let me guess, you're private messaging with Lizzy ;-P

The Nun 13:52:00
Sorry about that. I had to go and empty my stomach for a minute, and Collins, are you gay? I'm not & I'd prefer not to be kissed by a man, thank you.
F.D. and Lizzy, stop private messaging me about my identity! I won't answer.

Fitzie_Fan 13:52:08
Have to go! My colleague is starting to complain about women and careers. *kiss*

Fitzie_Fan left the chat at 13:52:17

Lizzy 13:52:27
Still here, F.D.? Let me guess, you're private messaging with Lizzy ;-P

Uh huh ;)

F. D. 13:52:38
Well, Nun, I think you're a terrible spoilsport.
Coz, shall we eliminate him as well?

Mr. Collins 13:52:44
I hate cybersex ;)

I dont
Lizzy, U fancy a bit of cs w/ me?

Colonel 13:53:19
Well, Nun, I think you're a terrible spoilsport.
Coz, shall we eliminate him as well?

Sure, why not ;)

Hey, FD, was that the lunch gong?

Colonel left the chat at 13:53:35

F. D. left the chat at 13:53:51

Lizzy left the chat at 13:53:58

Mr. Collins 13:54:00
Lizzy?

Mr. Collins left the chat at 13:54:56

Part 32

Posted on Friday, 12 March 1999

"I don't get this," said Darcy to Fitzwilliam when they walked down to lunch in Lady Catherine's fortified mansion. "Mrs. Gardiner knows who the Nun is, and yet they urged everyone to get out of chat."

"My guess is that Bennet doesn't know, and he was probably the one typing."

"I hope those people will be a bit careful when they storm the house. I have some stuff I want to do after this job."

"Like what?" the Colonel asked.

"I think I could allow myself to be in love when this job is over," Darcy said professionally. "I suppose you wouldn't understand."

"No," said the Colonel, who did not have such control over his feelings as Darcy seemed to have.

"Like, if you die, nobody cares, and you won't die thinking there's so much that you had still wanted to do with this woman, like marrying her, and thinking of your wedding party."

"You can manage without a wedding party," said the Colonel confidently. He could not say he was already married, because the walls had ears and what if anyone overheard and decided to blackmail him by threatening to hurt his wife? He was in a precarious position, having worked for both sides. Collins knew his identity, and the Colonel was completely at his mercy, for if Collins ever told Lady Catherine, her nephew was a dead man. Fortunately for the Colonel, Collins tried to enrich himself by paying the Nun less than what Lady Catherine paid him for the Nun, and he was enjoying the fact that he could take advantage of this situation. Collins had recently read a bit of Volpone, and Mosca was his new hero.

They all sat down to lunch in ominous silence. Lady Catherine did not allow anyone to speak before she had spoken, and she seemed to be in a particularly foul mood because Collins had informed her that the Nun had turned down her offer of 60.000 pounds per kill. Collins had not said that he was planning on keeping 10.000 of that sum for himself. Also, some of her London bombs had been discovered before they had gone off, and new measures had had to be taken.

Her daughter Anne never said anything, and her cousins had yet to discover whether she approved of her mother's business dealings and whether she could be spared when the hurds invaded De Bourgh Mansion.

Bennet and Gardiner assembled their troops in the woods close to the mansion. This way, nobody could email or chat to people on the inside and inform them of the plans. "Listen up. We split up and we eliminate the guards. You've all done that before. I recall we practiced this six times on our last training weekend, so this should be a piece of cake. At five past midnight we all head for the house and hope that those on the inside have cleared the way sufficiently. Any questions?"

"What do we do once we're inside the house?" somebody asked.

"We provide back up for those already inside. And now we wait until dark." The group dispersed and settled down to wait.

Captains Wentworth and Bingley slowly and carefully made their way to the house. Suddenly they stumbled on a person trying to make radio contact with someone. The person had not heard them approach from behind. They paused. "What do we do?" Bingley asked, and they listened to what was being said.

"Dipsy here," said the shadow. "I have news. Tonight at midnight there --"

"Eliminate," said Wentworth curtly, and they jumped forward before the person could say more.

After the deed was done, they moved on, and they reached the wall at a quarter to twelve. There were still more than ten minutes to spare before they could go over the wall. "Wentworth," said Bingley.

"Yes?"

"Please don't kill any handsome men you might find in there."

"War trophy?"

"You could say that."

Bennet gave the attack sign, but in the dark it was difficult to see if all of his team were there. Nobody noticed that one of them was missing.

The radio operator took off her headphones. "Sorry, Mr. Collins. Something happened and I didn't hear anything. It was Dipsy, though, saying something about 4am."

"Something is imminent, baby," said Collins. "Keep listening."

"Yeah..." said the operator, not wanting to mention the muffled struggle she had heard.

Part 33

Posted on Saturday, 13 March 1999

Wentworth and Bingley had gone over the wall and Bingley was picking the lock of the kitchen door, cursing under her breath. "You'd think that he'd be happy to see me, and that he'd have the kitchen door wide open, but of course he doesn't know I'm coming. What will he say?" She straightened her back. "It's open, Captain." They went in. It was pitch dark in the kitchen. "Colonel? Turn the lights on," Bingley hissed. "I know you're there."

Something clattered to the floor and seconds later the lights went on. If Darcy and the person in the nun's habit were surprised at her combat suit, the gun and her khaki nail polish, they did not say so, and anyway, the nun was too busy retrieving his gun from the floor, where he had dropped it upon hearing a familiar voice.

"Oh, crisis," Wentworth groaned. "It's the bloody Nun!" he reached for his gun.

"Caroline?" Darcy looked puzzled. "What are you doing here funnily dressed?"

"Rescuing the hubby," she replied. "And Wentworth put that gun down!"

"What's a hubby?" Darcy asked. "Wentworth, don't shoot the Colonel!"

Wentworth lowered his gun, but still gave the nun a menacing glare. "Why does he dress up as a nun? We all know about the Nun."

"I am the Nun," Colonel Fitzwilliam replied calmly, even if he was very much wondering whether he was actually married to a Captain Bingley, just like Caroline was wondering whether she was actually married to an assassin.

While they were thus digesting their surprise, they were surprised by the slimy Collins. He entered the kitchen and pointed a poisoned dart gun at them. "Haha," he cackled evilly. "I've got you there, my friends. You thought you could outwit me, you Fitz nitwits, but it didn't happen. I'm still smarter than you. Don't mess with my patroness! You're gonna die! In the corner, hands above your heads," he motioned. "Did you think I wouldn't have an informer in your group? Ha! Some people are smart. They know when to accept an offer. Unlike you, Colonel. Fifty thousand pounds was not enough for you, but let me tell you that I'll receive a hundred thousand when I eliminate the Nun. I knew you were coming in. From chat of course. Not from that treacherous radio operator. I knocked her out cold because she was telling me lies. All I had to do is lie in wait and steal a few of the Nun's weapons when he had left his room. You're a fool, Colonel. Had you thought I wouldn't search your bags? This is such a handy weapon," he said lovingly. "Soundless and deadly. And no antidote, haha. I know now why you use it. Isn't it ironic that you will die by it? All of you, traitors and villains. And the lovely lady as well, although I will save her for last. I might have a bit of fun with her first." He gave her a lecherous smile.

The Colonel did not care if the odious toad had poisoned darts. No way was he going to lay his filthy hands on his wife. He jumped forward to attack Collins. Collins, taken by surprise, accidentally pulled the trigger and shot a dart.

Somebody fell.

Elizabeth climbed over the wall and knocked out the guards like she had practiced. They fell to the ground and she quickly gagged them and tied them up. Grabbing their guns she ran towards the house to regain her breath in the shadows of the wall. Silently she moved towards the corner. Another dark figure joined her. Suddenly they heard a piercing scream from inside the house.

"What was that, Lizzy?" Jane asked.

Elizabeth frowned. "I don't know, but it didn't sound too good to me. Let's go!" They ran towards the kitchen door. It was a shocking sight that greeted them there. Two people who looked like they were dead, one wounded and one who was blankly staring into space, possibly wounded as well. Only one person was still standing and just about to step into the hall.

Part 34

Posted on Saturday, 13 March 1999

Darcy turned when Elizabeth and Jane entered. "I'm glad you're here," he said curtly. "Things went a bit wrong here."

"I can see that," said Elizabeth grimly, while she looked at the obviously dead Collins with the butcher's knife protruding from his chest. An unknown man -- Wentworth -- was bandaging his arm, but he looked otherwise alright. A nun, who on closer inspection turned out to be Colonel Fitzwilliam, sat looking at the limp body of a woman in a combat suit, draped half across his knees. Her eyes were closed, but the Colonel looked so totally numbed that Elizabeth guessed she must be dead. "It's Caroline," she said in surprise.

Colonel Fitzwilliam looked up to her with lifeless eyes and then he looked down again. "It was," he said tonelessly.

"Come on," Darcy urged. "We have no time to lose."

"Jane, stay with him," Elizabeth looked over her shoulder. "He doesn't look too good." She followed Darcy out and Wentworth joined them, despite his bandaged arm. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered. "Don't worry. Wentworth."

"Elizabeth. Darcy," she nodded ahead to Darcy. They heard gunshots outside and Darcy halted. "Go on," she prodded. "The rest of the team will take care of that. We must make sure she isn't inside anymore."

"Let's kill the radio first," he suggested. "Shouldn't take too long."

"Anne!" cried Wentworth upon seeing the unconscious radio operator.

Darcy smashed the radio panel. "We don't have time for this," he pulled Elizabeth along. "This is obviously a game for single people." They continued on alone. "The caves!" he exclaimed when they did not find any trace of Lady Catherine anywhere.

"The caves?" Elizabeth repeated.

"Yes, through here," Darcy ran to the study. He placed his fingers on the eyes of a horrible bronze Buddha statue and part of the bookcase swung away. "Let's go."

Elizabeth was impressed. "How do you know all this?" she asked a little suspiciously.

"No time to explain," Darcy said quickly. "Shut up and follow me." He grabbed her hand and dragged her into the narrow passage that sloped downwards. Suddenly he stopped and she bumped into him.

"Nice aftershave," Elizabeth said stupidly in the dark.

"Thanks. It looks like we're locked out of the tunnel," he said, trying the wooden door before him.

"Shoot the lock," she suggested. "That's what I always read in books. Either that or celluloid, though I haven't got the foggiest what celluloid is."

"Good idea. I'll shoot. Plug you ears."

Elizabeth laid a hand on his shoulder. "Wait. Will people be able to follow us and assist us if necessary?"

"No."

"Aii."

"Indeed," he muttered. "Get out of the way or you'll be hit." He fired a couple of shots and the lock sprung open mysteriously. "Okay, there we go." The tunnel was cold and there was a draught. At one point Darcy fell forwards into a pile of earth. There was a hole in the roof directly above him. "At least we get fresh air," he said, helping Elizabeth who had fallen as well. "I think we're almost there. It's getting rocky here." Suddenly there was a bit of light before them. When they came closer, they felt that the tunnel widened into a cave of sorts, and at the end of the cave they could see a star twinkling. By the light of the moon and stars they could just see a boat taking off in the distance. "Damn," Darcy said. "Are you cold?"

"A little."

He put his arm around her. "There isn't much we can do. She probably hasn't got another boat down here. Shall we go back?"

"I think we had better."

Part 35

Posted on Sunday, 14 March 1999

"Colonel?" said Jane. "Come. Let's go." He did not seem to hear her, so she pulled at his arm.

"Caroline," he mumbled when she finally got through to him. "I won't leave her here with that toad."

"Take her then," Jane urged. "But you must come." They were joined by Wentworth who was supporting a dazed looking woman. "Who's that?" Jane asked.

"My ex-fiancée."

"What was Caroline doing here?" she asked Wentworth.

"Bennet sent her."

"And umm...was she a good friend of the Colonel's?"

"Married to him, I think," said Wentworth contorting his face as pain shot through his wounded arm.

Jane led them to where Bennet and the Gardiners were waiting. They could not discern much in the dark. "Jane? Who did you bring?" Bennet peered behind her.

"Captain Wentworth, sir," said Wentworth in a tired voice. "I don't know if Anne Elliot works for you, but since I found her knocked unconscious, I took her anyway. I have a knife wound."

"Ow, my head," said Anne, whose head had been bursting with every step. "I need to lie down."

"Come with me," said Jane. "I have a first aid kit."

"Colonel?" said Mrs. Gardiner anxiously. "Who are you carrying? Is she in need of first aid as well?"

"It's Captain Bingley," Wentworth informed them before following Jane. "She's been shot with a poisoned dart."

"Oh dear. Colonel, that is your field. What do we do?" Mrs. Gardiner had no idea of his personal involvement, and his deeply grieved tone surprised her.

"There is nothing we can do."

"No antidote?" she asked anxiously.

"No." He gently let the body down on the ground and caressed it.

"Colonel," said Bennet. "Life goes on. You have a job to do."

"Bennet," said Mrs. Gardiner angrily. "Leave him alone. Let me handle this." She sat down next to the Colonel and put her arm around him. "I did not know you loved her. Who is she?"

"M-m-my w-w-wife," said Colonel Fitzwilliam, and haltingly he told Mrs. Gardiner how he had met her. "She's w-w-wearing my w-w-wedding ring," he concluded, taking Caroline's hand to show Mrs. Gardiner. Mrs. Gardiner accidentally grabbed her by the wrist instead of the hand, and by doing so she made a curious discovery.

Elizabeth and Darcy were about to get back into the tunnel when there was a sudden explosion. Darcy threw Elizabeth down on the ground and covered her with his body. "What was that?" she asked when the sound had died down, but before Darcy could answer, there was another explosion further away.

"Time bombs in the tunnel," he said grimly. "So she couldn't be followed. Fortunately we were early, or else we would have been blown up. Before it turns out that there are any in the cave as well we had better get out of here."

"How? Swimming?"

Darcy noticed that it was high tide, and that they would likely be smashed onto the rocks if they tried to climb onto land anywhere. "I suppose we could explore the tunnel and see if we can still make our way through. Maybe it didn't cave in. Or we could wait here till it's ebb."

"I vote for that. If there really were bombs, they would have gone off at the same time as those other two."

"I hope you're right."

"If not, we go down together. How's that?" Elizabeth joked.

"Great," Darcy said drily.

Part 36

Posted on Monday, 15 March 1999

"I think we need to get this lady to a hospital," Mrs. Gardiner decided.

"Why? For anatomy students to play with?" Colonel Fitzwilliam said bitterly. "No. I don't want her body cut up."

"Listen to me. She is not dead!"

"Not dead?" he repeated dumbly.

"She still has a pulse. Why did you not check?" Mrs. Gardiner almost shouted at him as she scrambled to her feet.

"Because...because my darts are lethal! Why should I check?"

"You probably made a mistake preparing them!"

"I didn't prepare anything. Collins did that. She's not dead? He didn't mix the two substances? She's not dead? Alive?" He tried to feel her pulse, but in his eagerness he could not feel anything.

"Get her to the hospital," Mrs. Gardiner ordered. "I'll drive you."

"She escaped," Lydia reported to Bennet. "We searched the house, but we could not find anyone. Where's Lizzy and Darcy?"

"There was no sign of them either?"

"Nowhere."

"That is very strange. We must assume they are after Lady Catherine then and wait until they contact us," Bennet said. "Let's all go back to the hotel and get some rest. Anybody wounded?"

"No," Henry Crawford answered.

"Good! Much better than that pathetic lot Jane dragged out of the house. All of them have been taken to the hospital. Are we all here?" He did a quick head count. "No, who's missing?"

"Charlotte," Kitty frowned. "Funny. I haven't seen her since way before we went in." Of course the only two who could shed light on Charlotte's absence were being driven to the nearest hospital, but Bennet had had his suspicions, or if he had not, he pretended not to be surprised.

In the hospital, Jane had called Charles Bingley to stay with his sister, because she and Colonel Fitzwilliam needed to get back to work. Poor Charles was not in the service, and Jane doubted that he had ever given its existence much thought. Now he was faced with Jane who carried a gun concealed under her coat, and an unconscious sister in a combat suit. Charles, who never could keep up with trends, thought this was a new fashion for ladies. That did not worry him much, although he did not understand how she ever came to be in this hospital, and who the mysterious priest -- Colonel Fitzwilliam without his nun's head dress looked like a priest of some obscure order -- was who had to explain to the doctor what kind of poison was in Caroline's body.

When the priest kissed Caroline's forehead, Bingley was a little surprised. Aren't they sworn to celibacy or something? "Father," he ventured. "Did you bless her just now? I didn't know my sister was religious. I mean, go right ahead and kiss her if that's any sort of ritual, but I must admit that I'm kind of surprised." The priest gave him a puzzled look. "I'm sorry," said Bingley. "I didn't mean to interrupt your prayer or whatever."

"That's quite alright, brother. I wasn't praying," he said to his brother-in-law.

"Charles, Charles," Bingley, who had no idea of his sister's marriage, said hastily. "Is she going to be okay? Does your divinity watch over her now?"

"She is in safe hands," said the Colonel, who had more faith in medicine than in divinities. "I must go now, but I'll be back."

Elizabeth and Darcy were waiting for the opportunity to get out of the cave. They were speculating on what the rest of the group had been up to. "I wonder who Collins' informer was," Elizabeth said. "He implied that it was someone from our group."

"I hope not."

"I'm a little cold."

"Give your hands."

Part 37

Posted on Tuesday, 6 April 1999

Darcy had his mini-computer with him, of course. He turned it on to communicate with the Gardiners and Bennet.

"Cool thingy," said Elizabeth appreciatively. "I wish Bennet weren't so technophobic."

"That's because he's only got female agents," Darcy answered as he waited for his appointed Chat page to load. "He's afraid that they'll go to silly chat rooms and use it to look up pictures of movie stars."

"Yeah, right." She did not comment any more, because she wanted to know what Darcy was going to do. "Oooh! That chat!"

F & E joined the chat at 03:40:12

"Who are F & E?" Elizabeth asked.

"That's us," Darcy explained. "I thought you knew my name was Fitzwilliam?"

"Uhh, yeah."

F & E 03:40:45
Nobody here?

B & G joined the chat at 03:44:12

F & E 03:44:57
It was about time!

B & G 03:45:15
Where are you two?

F & E 03:46:40
We are in a cave. (Really!) Waiting for low tide so we can get out. Meanwhile, we are amusing ourselves. Elizabeth is looking up Leonardo sites, Bennet.

B & G 03:47:01
A cave? How did you end up there? Where is Lady C?

F & E 03:47:45
escaped *

Janey joined the chat at 03:47:52

Colonel joined the chat at 03:47:58

F & E 03:48:18
# silence all around as B&G absorb the shock #

B & G 03:48:41
No need to become facetious, F. This is a serious issue.

F & E 03:47:45
Janey! Colonel! Have you recovered?

Colonel 03:48:09
DEATH WISH LXVI!

F & E 03:48:33
love those movies!

F & E 03:48:45
Is no one going to talk to us? We are bored.

Colonel 03:48:58
# Hates to interrupt the caveman's friendly chatter, but wants to get down to action #

B & G 03:49:21
F & E, I suggest you report back here as soon as possible. Who is Leonardo? Is he Lady C's sidekick?

Janey 03:49:27
# kicks doorman #

F & E 03:49:33
# staying respectfully away from Colonel #

Colonel 03:49:50
bye

B & G 03:49:59
Colonel, you don't know where she's gone. You CAN'T get down to action.

F & E 03:50:08
don't get killed, Richard

Colonel left the chat at 03:50:11

F & E 03:50:22
stop him hes unbalancde

Janey 03:50:28
Colonel, don't do anything rash!

F & E 03:50:31
...typo...

B & G 03:50:38
Don't worry, F. He's not going anywhere other than his bed. We drugged his hot cocoa.

F & E 03:50:52
Hot cocoa?????!?!??!?

F & E 03:51:05
He drinks that muck? But good move, anyway. We'll be out of this cave and in hot pursuit of Lady Catherine once the water level is lower. Can you arrange for a boat and some weapons. Plenty of ammo too!

Part 38

Posted on Thursday, 15 April 1999

At low tide the two in the cave found their way out. They climbed the rocks towards the beach where they found Kitty waiting beside a small speedboat.

"Hang on," Darcy protested angrily. "Do we have to pursue Lady Catherine in that?"

"No," said Kitty, who was a little afraid of him. "There's a yacht just around the corner. There, behind those rocks."

"Okay." Elizabeth started pushing the boat into the water. "Are you coming, Kitty?"

"No way," Kitty said quickly. She was much too scared that Darcy would yell at her if she did something stupid. "I was ordered to give you the boat, that's all. I'm going back now. Here," she handed them an ordinary looking parcel wrapped in brown paper. "Take this parcel so we can track your progress on the internet. Good luck." Kitty pushed them off and there they went.

Elizabeth looked at Darcy from the corner of her eye. He was steering the boat with a grim expression on his face. "I must thank you for taking me with you," she said quietly.

"What?" he yelled. "I can't hear you."

"Thanks for taking me," she yelled back.

"Oh!" Darcy returned his attention to his course again.

"You could easily have taken the Colonel," Elizabeth yelled at his back.

He shook his head and mumbled something she could not overhear because they were going so fast.

"What? Why not?"

The speedboat slowed down as the yacht came into sight. Darcy turned. "We work well together," he said quickly. "You and I," he added, in case she had misunderstood. "I know it's probably too late to ask right now, but you could always take the speedboat back. Do you want to work with me now?"

"Yes!"

Darcy glowed with pleasure. "Chouette!" He pulled a serious face. "No romantic stuff anymore, though," he said. "Business first."

"When did we ever...?" Elizabeth looked puzzled.

Darcy coloured brightly. "Oh dear."

"Are you mixing this up with a previous assignment?" Elizabeth frowned unhappily.

"Uhh, my dreams, I guess," he said awkwardly. "They seemed so real!" he said quickly.

"I forgive you on one condition," she said archly.

"And that is?"

"When this is all over, etcetera, etcetera."

"No problem!" Darcy promised faithfully.

Bennet and Gardiner were tracking the progress of the parcel on the internet. "It slows," Mr. Gardiner exclaimed. "They reached the yacht."

"I hope those smarties take it with them. There is no point in showing us where to find the speedboat."

After a short delay they saw the parcel take off again. "There they go," said Mr. Gardiner with satisfaction.

Mrs. Gardiner had gone to the hospital to interrogate Wentworth and Bingley. Bingley was still unconscious, but Wentworth was doing fine. "Wentworth, does she have a seaworthy yacht?"

"Yes."

"Where is it?"

"Not far from the house. A few miles, at that classy marina."

"Oh, I know it." Mrs. Gardiner immediately phoned the Henrys to go there. "Where does she usually go with it?"

"I think she'll be going to London."

Colonel Fitzwilliam was out cold from his hot cocoa. He really found it distasteful in a normal condition, but now he did not taste or feel anything positive anymore. He wondered if he was an evil machine or if the Nun had had justice on his side. Before reaching any conclusion he had fallen into a deep sleep and he was as harmless as a baby.

Part 39

Posted on Sunday, 23 May 1999

The Henrys had discovered that Lady Catherine had escaped. Her yacht was no longer in the marina. It was now at sea, pursued by Darcy and Elizabeth in their own yacht. The Henrys, who did not know this, saw no other option than to hire a yacht themselves and sail off after Lady Catherine, without informing their superiors. Henry Crawford, who had spent a short time in the navy in the sweet days of Queen Xenia, knew how to handle a yacht and he set the autopilot on maximum knots, while Henry Tilney, who was more of an observer, wielded his binoculars.

Darcy was just as daring as Henry and Lady Catherine, so their yachts never caught up with each other and they arrived at the Thames estuary one after the other, with considerable time between them. "Now where do we go?" Darcy muttered as slowed the yacht down because of the heavy river traffic. "Where did she go?"

"We'll never find her," Elizabeth sighed. A helicopter circled above them and she gripped her hand-anti-aircraft defense. "Who's that?"

The radio crackled and Darcy picked it up. "Darcy," he yelled, one eye on the heli.

"It's us!" crackled a female voice.

"Who?"

"Us!"

"Who's us?"

"Lydia and Kitty! We're right above you."

"What for?" Darcy snapped. "You nearly gave us a heart attack!"

"We spotted your charge! But don't follow her yet. We've got another more important task for you. How are you with explosives?"

"What do you want exploded? I can press buttons."

"The reverse! Can you deactivate bombs?"

Darcy was silent. Lydia or Kitty had sounded pretty anxious, so he assumed there was a bomb somewhere that would be going off very soon if somebody did not do anything about it. He had been taught the basics of deactivating explosives during his training, of course, but that was so long ago that he was not sure if he remembered it correctly.

"Darcy?"

"Yes. I'm not sure I can still do it."

"Well, try!" It was unmistakably Lydia. Nobody else could scream like that. "You're the only one near enough."

The Tower Bridge loomed up in front of them. "Where is it?" Darcy asked.

"Under the Tower Bridge. We saw her yacht stop and several frogmen get off to attach the explosives."

"Several?" Darcy shouted into the radio. "I'm no bloody superman! Get me some back up!" He threw down the radio. "Take my place while I get ready," he said to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth had never done anything like it before and the yacht first went towards the south bank before she figured out how to keep it straight. "Fitzwilliam? Don't bother. We'll be killed before we reach the bombs anyway," she yelled, as another ship had to change its course to avoid Elizabeth. While Elizabeth was struggling to keep the boat straight, the Henrys caught up with her, because Henry Crawford was a little more anti-social than Darcy, and he had kept up his speed all along the Thames, leaving a trail of overturned dinghies, canoes, and rowing boats, and considerable damage to the riverbanks, caused by his waves, behind.

Henry Tilney had discovered Elizabeth when he looked ahead through his binoculars and seen a yacht that was apparently being sailed by a drunk. Henry Crawford slowed down alongside her. "Hey Elizabeth! Where are you going?"

"Bombs!" she shouted. "Are you good with bombs, Tilney?"

"Yes, sure."

"Then help me," shouted Darcy, who appeared on deck in a wetsuit. They were almost under the Tower Bridge. "There are explosives under the bridge."

Henry Tilney muttered something under his breath and he quickly went below to change into a wetsuit as well. When he reappeared they were under the bridge and Darcy was ready to go overboard. Henry joined him and Elizabeth and Henry Crawford stared after them anxiously as they both swam off in separate directions.

"I hope they find them all," Elizabeth said quietly. "The bridge is so long!"

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