Not As It Seems

Lilac

The Beginning, Next Section

Chapter 1

Posted on Saturday, 1 June 2002

My name is Elizabeth Bennet. Yes I have the same name as the witty, vivacious, fine-eyed, Austen Elizabeth Bennet. My parents the dear things that they are thought it would be cute. Yes cute, my mother's words, to have her five daughters named after the five Bennet daughters of "Pride and Prejudice." Humph! I'm the fluke, I don't follow literature destiny. Jane as you would guess is the eldest, the beautiful, sweet little lamb. Oh I adore Jane, who wouldn't? She's graceful and she has guys following her around and dropping like flies. And we mustn't forget that she's a prima ballerina (while I trip over myself) I'm the second eldest but we'll get back to me later. Then there is Mary, she is quite skilled at the piano, and the guitar, and the violin, and the cello, and the bass, and the flute, and the clarinet, and the mandolin (don't ask me!), and the trombone, and the saxophone and well let's just say our Mary is a prodigy. She reads but I wouldn't call her bookish just um she is an intellectual snob. A very sweet musical genius intellectual snob. After Mary is Kitty or Katharina (my father's favorite play is "Taming of the Shrew") Contrary to the beautiful book, "Pride and Prejudice" Kitty does have a mind of her own, sort of. She is an artist, she splatters paint all over the walls, wears dirty smocks over black clothes and is addicted to caffeine (I keep trying to tell her how bad that stuff is! It's practically a drug!) She has a select group of artsy friends who are quite snooty, but Kitty of the golden heart would never turn her nose up at anyone. Then the youngest Lydia is also an artist. Unlike her fictional counter part Lydia is not a dreadful flirt. She is only a flirt, but she's got the hots for brooding young geniuses instead of officers. I think that is an improvement. Lydia hangs out in the same crowd as Kitty, but Lydia does not create the same kind of mundane art as Kitty. Oh no, Lydia's art is full of life, Lydia does only sculptures. Abstract of course.

And then there's me ... Elizabeth Bennet. Just Elizabeth Bennet no one calls me Lizzy or Miss Bennet or Dearest Lovelist Elizabeth. The only nickname I've ever had is my incredibly embarrassing family one. Zizzy. Don't ask me where they got that they just did. I'm the mutant of the family. I guess I'll begin by describing myself physically (see I'm shallow!). I have straight brown almost black hair. No bountiful Regency curls for me, just triangle hair. Yes, triangle hair. What occurs when your hair is flat on the top and thick at the bottom. I am the plainest of the Beautiful Bennets (Mary lucked out). My skin is a mediumish color and clear but a bit oily (evil t-zone!) My nose is okay I guess I would rather have it be less big but I'm not complaining. Oh then my eyes! They are dark and brown but nothing like Elizabeth Bennet's (the REAL one) eyes. Not the sparkling, intelligent, captivating, laughing, ironic, fine eyes. They are just dull brown. I have nothing bad to say about my mouth except that my teeth are crooked which is why at the ripe age of 17 I'm still wearing braces. My figure is not at all like Jennifer Ehle's. In the chest area I was endowed with ... nothing. I'm flat, short, and lacking hips. Okay well I have enough of the first and last to prove that I have two X chromosomes but that's not very much. And I'm not anorexic or skinny; I guess I'm kinda lumpy... Hmmm gotta work on that. I have small feet. Wow I spent a long time discussing my appearance I must really be shallow. Now to deeper waters.

I'm smart in that I can read, write and do math way. Well I must actually be a little smarter since I read so much. What do I read? Bronte (all three), P.G Wodehouse, Tolstoy, Shakespeare, Bradbury, Agatha Christie, Steinbeck, Hemingway, and of course Austen. I really should have been named Elinor Dashwood, not that I resemble her , just that I would want to be her, she's so perfect ... But I digress, where was I? Oh, my character. I like music though I can't play anything. I like the Beatles and Bob Dylan, and Cat Stevens, and Weezer, and Good Charlotte, and the Vandals, and Rx Bandits, and Green Day. And Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and Louis Armstrong. And secretly I love show tunes, and songs from musicals. I secretly long to be in musicals. I want to sing divinely like Jane Powell, and dance with Fred Astaire like Ginger Rogers. That actually used to be my goal in life: to dance with Fred Astaire, That is until I realized that he was dead and that even if he was alive he would be too old, and even if he was the right age I would probably break all his toes and make a huge fool out of myself in the process.

I like poetry. Shakespeare is good and Keats and all those classical fellows but they usually don't make any sense. My favorite poet is Langston Hughes because I can understand what he's saying. I do play sports and enjoy them but very ill indeed. I mean humiliatingly ill. I act. I'm into theater, I love everything about it. I especially love using power drills to build sets. The Power! Muahahahha! Ahem, okay if I was analyzed I would probably come out as a sad person. I like rainy cloudy days. My favorite movies are sad. My favorite books are sad. My favorite everything tends to lean towards the depressing...

I have friends. Carly Lukes is my best friend, sensible and caring. Jane and I are very close. Emily Wadhouse is a good friend of mine, into matchmaking and other frivolous things but very sweet at heart. That's about the extent of my acquaintance. I guess it's my own fault. I certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done. I also have what my mother calls a sharp tongue. I'm not particularly witty, just sarcastic and ironic and rather dry. I don't have that mixture of sweetness and archness that people are so fond of. My voice seems to have a mean edge to it whether I want it there or not. All my words are quick and defined and people don't understand that's just the way I talk. I don't want to offend anyone and I certainly don't want to hurt anyone but the natural tone of my voice seems to offend and annoy wherever I go.

Sadly I'm not one of the very rich, so I cannot afford to give offense wherever I go. The only common trait I have with Lizzy the Great (I'm a poet who don't know it!) is that I laugh at the ridiculous. In this time of hardship and strife and violence I always find something silly about human nature to laugh at. That's me plain Elizabeth Bennet, nothing about me to entrance a Mr. Darcy of Pemberley and 10,000 pounds (What pin-money, what jewels, what carriages!) That is the brief version of my family and myself. Yes the brief version, I wouldn't want to subject innocent people to the full-length version. We live on Longbourn Ave in a nice little southern Californian suburb. My parents are professors. My mother at the local junior college teaching home economics and the ilk. My father at the University teaching English literature. My family is all very talented with the exception of me. Oh and nothing ever happens at all in my life, nothing at all.

Chapter 2

Posted on Tuesday, 4 June 2002

I think I forgot to mention that the nice little southern Californian suburb we live in is called Meryton. The high school that all my sisters and I attend is Hertfordshire High School. Lydia is a freshman, Kitty is a sophomore, Mary is a junior and Jane and I are seniors. (Jane is a year older than me but I started kindergarten early.) We are the mighty ducks. No not the hockey team, that's our mascot. The ducks. Quack, Quack go ducks! Our school can be described as cliquey. There are the jocks and the cheerleaders, the nerds, the punks, the preps, and the art freaks. There is a school within a school, called Meryton Fine Art. It's this academy you have to try out for and there are certain classes you have to take and we even have our own hall. This academy is a pretty tight group, but there are also separate majors that define us even more. There are the visual art majors, like Kitty and Lydia, called art freaks. There are the dance majors, like Jane, creatively called the dance freaks. There are the music majors, like Mary, called, you guessed it, music freaks. And the theatre majors, like myself, called, big surprise, drama freaks. The other groups are almost self-explanatory. The jocks and the cheerleaders consist of mostly shallow jerks and bimbos. The nerds are extremely smart, but I call them the geniuses instead of the nerds (It's not very nice!). The punks are called rebellious and dangerous but they all are nice enough. And the preps are pretty much Ralph Lauren models. I guess even though I'm a drama freak and lack the ability to make friends I still can fit in with most of the people. I kind of defy categorization. I can be a punk because of the music I like, I can be a genius/nerd because of all the reading I do, and if I really wanted to (which I don't) I could be a prep because of all my American Eagle tee-shirts. Anyways I was walking down the hall when I spotted a tall, muscular, familiar, frame. His hair was rather sandy and his skin was tan.

"TWITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I shrieked as I ran to him.

"ZIZZY!" Rich Fitzwilliam is my best friend in the entire world. Why did I forget to mention him before? Well because we were born friends. I didn't need to do anything to become friends with him like normal people. He's been my neighbor forever. The Fitzwilliam family lives next door to us. Magarite Fitzwilliam is a free-spirited ex-hippie artist, and Edgar Fitzwilliam is a stuffed shirt, CEO/millionaire. The original odd couple. Why on earth would people with so much money live next door to normal upper middle class people like my family? Margarite liked the vibes of the house. I'm completely serious! And though Edgar is very reserved and boring (he's a very good guy) he loves his wife most passionately and would do anything for her, so he bought the house. But I'm not judging, if they hadn't have been so weird I wouldn't have had dear Twitch. Hey when he stops calling me Zizzy I'll stop calling him Twitch. The reason for my unusual explosion of enthusiasm was the fact that I hadn't seen him for 3 months. The Fitzwilliams had been in traveling around Europe for 3 months, and Rich had gotten independent study. Obviously I missed him.

When I reached him, he dropped his books, picked me up and spun me around. I guess there are advantages to having a jock for a friend. Surprised? Yes, sweet Rich is a champion in everything. Name a sport, he plays it, and well. Which makes the fact that he stars in every school play even weirder. Somehow he manages playing every sport and being in MFA. And before you start getting messed ideas about our relationship, I'd like to say that he is my brotha from anotha motha. He's the brother I never had and I'm the sister he never had. Really the thought of kissing Rich is like kissing my dog, Hil. And Twitch feels exactly the same.

"I missed you!"

"I missed you too. How was Europe?"

"Great. Lots of beautiful girls." He waggled his eyebrows.

Rich may act like the ultimate flirt/ player, but I can't be fooled. No I knew him when he ate paste and thought girls had cooties. He is a perfect gentleman/ nice guy. He can pretend to be smooth as much as he wants but I know the truth.

"And did you get phone numbers?"

"Nah, long distance costs at least a buck a minute."

"You came back just in time to star in West Side Story."

"Maria! The most beautiful sound I ever heard! So what are you going to try out for?"

A commotion at the main doors prevented me from answering. We both turned to see what was happening. Strangely enough, it was only a group of new students. A very interesting group. Leading them was a tall blonde cheery looking fella, reminded me of a Golden Retriever. Quite handsome. Next to him was snotty looking bottle blonde. She looked like she hadn't eaten in weeks, and her bright orange top showed her ribs. I was torn with being repulsed and wanting to feed the poor girl. There was a girl who had similar characteristics to the Feed The Children poster child and a guy who would definitely fit in with the Preps. Then bringing up the rear was...oh my. Breathe Elizabeth please breathe. There in all his glory stood a dark-haired Adonis. The phrase tall, dark, and handsome was created after someone saw this guy. But before I could go into total swoon I noticed a glint of something in his eye. Hmm, disdain that was it.

"Zizzy's in love."

"Twitch it seems that you'll have some competition, with all the lovely ladies."

"Who do you think they are."

"We'll find out in about 5 seconds."

Sure enough our gossip mills were in motion already. I swear you could practically hear the turbines. Rich and I found out that the new comers were from some posh city in northern California called Lambton. They were all rich. The dark one especially. His father seems to own Pemberley wines. The Golden Retriver's name was Chaz Bing and orange girl was his sister Carmen, the other girl was also his sister, Louise and Mr. Prep was her boyfriend Chip Hurst (hahaha!). Then the gorgeous disdainful one was Will Darcy. I know what you guys are thinking, Elizabeth Bennet, Will Darcy a match made in literature heaven. But really that kind of perfection would probably get attached to a pretty cheerleader not little ole me. Rich and I walked over to my locker so I could get my books.

"I'll try out for Anybodys."

"No you won't."

"Excuse me?"

"You are way too good for that." Yeah right.

"Geez, Rich you don't need to inflate my ego."

"You'll try out for Anybodys and you'll get Maria."

"That's not true!"

"What about Taming of the Shrew? You were Katharina. Or Guys and Dolls? You were Adelaide. Or Importance of Being Earnest? You were Cecily. Or Into The Woods? You were the witch!"

"Alright fi-"

"Excuse me!" Rich was leaning against the locker next to mine. And apparently he was in the way of Will Darcy. Darcy looked very annoyed.

Rich didn't hear him what with the noise in the hall and the thickness of his skull.

"Excuse me!" Twitch turned around with his jovial smile and moved.

"Oh I'm sorry."

Darcy just snorted. Jerk.

"Stupid piece of bam" Darcy was apparently having trouble with his locker.

"Hey you got to twist it in one smooth movement." I said trying to be helpful.

"Thanks for that wonderful insight." He said peevishly.

"Oh and you have to be nice. Lockers are temperamental creatures. Sweet talk it a bit." Rich couldn't help but add with a trademark grin. Darcy just glared. Touchy, touchy!

"How can you people manage in this stupid school?!"

How dare he! I may make fun of HHS but he has not right to!

"It's not a stupid school. It's a good school." I said rather angrily. Not very witty but it got the point across.

"It can't be much of school if the lockers are this bad."

"Move over." He didn't budge.

"Move over" He moved a enough for me to get to his locker.

"What's your combo?"

"Do you think I'd tell you?"

"Do you want your locker opened or what?" He was so exasperating!

"20-36-5" I did his combo gave the locker a nice Fonzie style hit and pulled up the lever.

"Voila!"

"How'd you do that?"

"With finesse."

He gave a rude grunt/moan, and then walked away.

"You're welcome."

"It's seems Zizzy that its not our school that has issues."

"Yup, what's his problem?"

"I dunno but we'd better get to class, before we're late."

"Alright."

Later that day at lunch I went to sit down with Carly and Rich, when I noticed a new addition to Jane's court of admirers. That new Golden Re- I mean guy. I gotta stop thinking that. It's not very nice. What was his name? Chaz...Bing? That's it. He can drool with the best of them. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Darcy condescending enough to eat among the common folk. Bing saw him as well and pulled himself away from angelic Jane to go speak to him. They were standing close enough for me to hear they're conversation.

"Come Darce, I must have you make friends. I hate to see you standing around in this stupid manner. Go find somewhere to sit."

"I don't know anyone."

"Uh, that's the point. You know that song, make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. A circle is round it has no ends-"

"If you don't stop singing I don't think we'll be friends." This was growled in a menacing tone. But Chaz was made of sterner stuff and persisted.

"Hey look over there. That brunette is the sister of one of my new friends." Chaz got a dreamy look when he said the last part.

"Which one? Oh her."

"I could get you an introduction. Hey she's kinda pretty maybe you guys could go out or something."

"Certainly not. She is alright I guess, but not pretty enough to tempt me. She's probably some little nitwit. I'm in no mood to go make friends with plain girls who can't find their own dates."

OH my! Oh my! The nerve! Hahahahhahahahhahhaha! This guy is more full of himself than I thought. Rich didn't hear him. I think I'll take him to get his ears checked ... Carly was still in the lunch line so I walked over to tell her what happened. I burst out laughing and couldn't help looking over at Darcy. He looked mortified. Yes Mr. Will Darcy, I, a lowly girl who can't find her own dates am laughing at you! You know Jane Austen's Fitzwilliam Darcy is actually good under that proud exterior. I guess the last name, good looks, and wealth is where the similarity ends. I mean this guy is a real *****! I feel sorry for whatever girl ends up with him.

Chapter 3

Posted on Sunday, 9 June 2002

Turns out Darcy is an athlete. He's playing basketball with Twitch. Who in my opinion is much better than Darcy. Bing is a surfer. Yeah doesn't make sense since they lived in northern California. But apparently they owned a beach house in Maui and Bing's been surfing there a lot. The beach is a few miles away from the school which is why we go to the beach after school on Fridays.

It happened that Bing and I became good friends. Usually Jane's suitors try to get through her through me. Which never works because I put on my best "you really don't want to talk to me face" and tell them that if they are pathetic enough to talk to me about Jane then she would never go out with them. Harsh, I know. But sometimes you gotta be tough. I thought Bing was just like the rest. I found out that he actually wanted to be friends with me. Not because I have "influence with Jane" but because I was me and he was nice.

Now that I think about it maybe I'm better getting along with guys. I can talk easily with them, well except for that snob, Darcy. I can't believe I ever thought he was cute. Okay I thought he was gorgeous. And I called him an Adonis. I downgrade him to a...Ben Affleck(I don't like him, though other girls do.) Well I don't get along with Darcy and Colin Williams. No, Colin Williams has nothing in common with Colin Firth. In fact I think he's the opposite. Greasy, slimy little twit who practically stalked me. I think he called me his little frog or was it his darling Komodo dragon(he thought it was a compliment)? He wouldn't stop until I threatened him with a sexual harassment lawsuit and restraining order.

Where was I? Oh yea Chaz. He's such a nice guy I can't believe he's friends with Darcy. I asked him about it once and he just went on about how great a guy Darcy was and their time together as boy scouts. You wouldn't believe how many camping stories I've heard about them. Apparently Darcy has saved Bing at least 15 times. All on boy scout outings. There was the canoe rescue, and the hiking incident, and the coyote affair, and the lake fiasco, and the chili disaster. I think the last one wasn't life or death but Darcy still saved the day.

It came to pass that Bing accompanied me to the beach every Friday. Even when I went with Rich or Carly or Emily. But lately Carly has been busy with some guy. I think she's ashamed of him, otherwise she would've have told me about him. And Emily has been hanging out with Fred Churchill. I've told her time and time again that he's not worth her time but she won't listen to me. I wish she would notice how Greg Knight lives for her. He's a great guy but a member of the geniuses. Emily is friends with him, but I think the reason she doesn't pay him any attention is that he isn't fashionable enough for her. Emily is really a doll but sometimes she picks out guys like she would handbags.

"Hey, Chaz."

"Hey Elizabeth."

We were walking out of school on Friday on our way to Chaz's car. Jane and I share a 1957 Chevy Bel Air. I know nothing about cars but I absolutely adore mine. But Jane always has the car on Fridays and she never comes to the beach for some reason or another.

"So is any one else coming with us?" It was always the same answer, but I asked anyway.

"Well you know Carmen. Something about all that icky sand and water. 'Oh and you know as well as I do Chazzy that I look horrid in a bathing suit what with all my flab.' I always tell her that she's practically a skeleton but that only seems to encourage her. And I tried the line about her improving her tan. But she said some stuff about the sun's dangerous rays."

"So what's she doing?"

"Going to a tanning salon."

I couldn't help laughing at the idiocy of Carmen. She obviously didn't care about the "suns dangerous rays" if she would willingly go fry herself.

"And Louise and Chip are at some afternoon tea or something sophisticated like that. And Darcy..." is an unsocial snob.

"...is here! Will are you going to come with us?"

Darcy, himself was leaning against Bing's car in a white t-shirt, flip-flops, and swimming trunks.

"Otherwise I wouldn't be here. Besides I'm kind of scared for your safety. Your not good with water, we can't forget the canoe rescue, or the lake fiasco." This was said in a dry, cynical tone.

"Chaz is a very good surfer." I said indignantly.

Darcy looked very amused, "I'm sure he is."

Bing noticed his smirk, and my glare and decided to intervene.

"Well let's go. Elizabeth did you already put your body board in the car?"

"Yeah, at lunch."

"Alrighty, hop in."

"I call shotgun!"

We all got into the car. Darcy looked a bit miffed that I got the front seat. Hey I called it!

I leaned over and turned on the radio.

Ooh Baby Baby!
How was I supposed to know...

I lunged at the radio in horror and quickly changed it to a more suitable station.

"Chaz, you have interesting musical taste."

"I need to stop letting Carmen borrow my car."

"Sure. Whatever you say."

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday I'm in love

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love

Saturday wait
And Sunday always comes too late But Friday never hesitate...

"So what's the next production?"

I don't care if Mondays black
Tuesday Wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's Friday I'm in love

"West Side Story."

Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday watch the walls instead
It's Friday I'm in love

"Do you think you guys could pull it off? " Of course when Darcy talks he has to say something negative.

"We have a really talented group of people in MFA." I said letting my annoyance creep into my tone. Good thing mom wasn't around to chide me on how mean I sounded. It was provoked! I swear!

Saturday wait
And Sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...

"I can't wait to see you and Rich starring in it." Bing said cheerfully.

"First of all, we haven't had auditions yet. And secondly, there's no guarantee I'll get Maria. But I have no doubt about Rich getting Tony."

Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday
I'm in love*

We got to the beach and Bing turned off the engine. We jumped out, and I went to get the surfboard. Bing and I had a deal, I would carry his surfboard if he would let me use it for a while. I know how to surf and usually don't wipe out but I don't have my own surfboard. He would carry my dinky body board and he would use it while I surfed.

Darcy saw me with the surfboard and looked incredulous, "Are you sure you can carry that?"

"No, I've only done it every Friday since Bing and I met."

"I'll get that for you." Oh a thanks for the chivalry but this is the 21st century.

"No, no, no. If Elizabeth doesn't carry the board then she breaks our deal and doesn't get to surf." He's a bad liar; he would let me surf anyways. He knew I wanted to carry it for him. I think he was afraid that if he didn't break it up I would start one of my Gloria Steinem feminist rants.

"Bing, you should carry it yourself. You're a guy."

"I may be a guy but Elizabeth is stronger than me and can actually carry it with ease." Bing, bless his sweet soul, was telling the truth.

Darcy made one of his now famous grunts.

When we reached the beach I had to groan. It was crowded. And crowded with people who I couldn't stand. You know the ones. The girls who go to the beach in their little bikinis to lie out on a towel and get a tan. They wear full makeup and flirt, and never even go near the water. I guess it's true about not liking what you don't understand. Because I really can't understand why any one would waste a beautiful day at the beach doing nothing. We made our way through the various towels and found a place to put our stuff down. While we were walking I noticed the many appreciative glances thrown towards Bing and Darcy. I felt a little angry. I wouldn't call it jealousy. I was just jealous for Jane. Even though I never felt this way the many times I came with Bing or Rich, who both got many of the same looks. Yup I was jealous for Jane. It didn't matter that most of the girls were drooling over Darcy. Let them drool. He's a jerk.

I took my hair out of the ponytail and started braiding it. It's the only way to keep from looking like a drowned rat after a wipe out. I turned around and noticed that Darcy was staring at me. I felt uncomfortable. I still had to take off my shorts and shirt. Even with all my insecurity issues and lumpiness, I never felt embarrassed being in a bathing suit. But... he was looking at me so intensely. Did I have something green in my braces? Was he comparing me to all the pretty girls at the beach? When I finished braiding my hair I quickly slipped off my clothing and made a move for my board.

He just kept looking at me. I think I heard him gulp. But strangely enough he wasn't looking at my body, he was looking my face. Once in awhile he would look me straight in my eyes with this weird gleam that made me shiver. It wasn't the look it was the temperature, I'm sure! 80 degrees is rather chilly don't you think?

"Do you want to keep looking for my faults or are you coming?"

He blushed but before he could reply I walked off with my board.

A few seconds later he caught up with me. I walked into the water and moved out until the water was pretty deep. I then got on the board and started to paddle. The water was incredibly calm. I paddled some more and then turned around when a wave started to come. I rode it back to shore feeling much better than I had felt a few minutes ago. That didn't last long. I saw Darcy still standing there holding his board. I sighed undid my leash and walked up to him.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

He looked embarrassed. I couldn't understand why.

"Um..."

"Are you coming or not?"

"I don't know how."

"Well first you put one foot in front of the other..."

"No I mean I don't know how to body board."

I really shouldn't have. I know I shouldn't have. But I burst out laughing. I didn't mean it as any slight to his illustrious personage. I just thought it was funny that Mr. I Don't Need Your Help Darcy couldn't body board. I wonder why he even bothered to come?

His face became grave.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to laugh. It's just that I assumed, you know what happens when you assu-" I started laughing again. He must've thought I was insane. Ah well no skin off my back. He was staring at me again. Didn't his mother teach him it's not polite to stare!?
"Here put on your leash and come with me."
He put on the leash and started to walk when I noticed he still had his shirt on.
"Uh, you might want to take your shirt off." That is the stupidest thing I've ever said! Oh my goodness I'm an airhead! He hesitated.

I smirked, "Don't worry I won't look. Besides I'm sure your loyal subjects would be greatly satisfied." He noticed my nod in the direction of the staring girls.

Darcy lifted an amused eyebrow, "And you wouldn't?"

Of all the cocky, arrogant presumption! Hateful, insufferable man!

"No I care more about a guy's personality than his chest. Kindness and humility, agreeable, open manners and sincerity are worth a whole lot more than a six-pack."

I think he understood the pointed look I gave him while saying this.

Without a word, he pulled off his shirt and picked up his board.

"Did you put on any sun block?"

"No."

"You're going to get burnt to a crisp." I walked in the direction of our towels and he followed.

"Here." I threw him the bottle while avoiding looking at his perfect form. I still believe what I said to him, but a girl has eyes!

The rest of the afternoon went well. As well as it could with Darcy. He caught on quickly, it's not too hard. But I was glad when I could switch with Chaz.

When Chaz dropped me off, I told him to come in and see Jane, but he saw a red mustang in the driveway with the license plate "CRAWFRD." Ugh! That stupid Jack Crawford. He was a complete four-letter word. But he was charming to Jane. And Jane couldn't see anything bad in anyone. Poor Bing I could see his sweet hopes crushed.

"Bye Bing. Bye Darcy."

"Bye Elizabeth." No reply from Darcy. He's got issues!

I hate Mondays, another bad Monday. Where was Rich? I saw Lydia at her locker in her usual tortured artist-wear. A guy who I vaguely remembered walked up to her. He turned and I saw he profile. Jeff Wicam! Last year we had a project for Biology II. This was around the time I had a crush on him. It makes me gag thinking about it now but, we must make allowances for the young and idiotic (i.e. me) Well what happened is we were collecting plant samples in the park. He makes a move on me and even with my infatuation I told him to stop. Of course he wouldn't stop. So I socked him in the eye, elbowed him in the gut, and kneed him in the groin. It may have been too much, but ever since then the scum has left me alone. And now he was hitting on my little sister! I was about to go and repeat my last reaction to his sliminess when I heard their conversation:

"Hey baby. You and me? We could make beaaautiful music." Lame.

"Have you ever been to any of Louis Flosteure's lectures on sculpture's place in South East Indian culture**?"

"Uh no." Dum bass (It's not a bad word!).

"Do you make any kind of art?"

"I've heard some girls describe me as an artist, if you know what I mean." Gross.

"Do you even know who created David?"

"Leonardo Dicaprio?" Idiot.

"Get lost you stupid creep! I wouldn't do anything with you in a million years!" Was that Lydia?

Since that outburst was heard by everyone in the hall Wickham left with his tail between his legs. I was never so proud of Liddy I practically cried. I used to always think she wouldn't be able to take care of herself but she could see through guys like Wickham so at least one of my worries about her could be put to rest.

I think I forgot to mention Darcy is in 3 of my classes. Oh joy. Well at least he isn't in MFA, then we would have to walk in the same hall.

The next day Bing asserted himself. It was quite a turning point. First Lydia then Chaz. This is what I gleaned from him and Jane:

Chaz was walking to Jane's locker to give her a poem he wrote for her entitled "Jane, You Are An Angel": You are pretty/You are witty/I like you much more than a little bitty/You're sister's name is Kitty/I wrote you this ditty/Because I'm besotted with you. The last line was free verse. So Chaz isn't going to be the next poet laureate, but he is sweet. He had on his Walkman and was singing along.

Nice guys finish last
You're running out of gas
Your sympathy will get you left behind

Bing thinks: Oh beautiful Jane. Her back is to me. Who is she talking to?

Sometimes you're at your best
When you look the worst

Do you feel washed up
Like piss going down the drain

Bing thinks: JUST JACK CRAWFORD! And for the first time in Bing's life he was blinded with rage. Well that's what he says...

Pressure cooker pick my brain and tell me I'm insane
I'm so f***ing happy I could cry
Every joke can have it's truth and now the joke's on you
I never knew you were such a funny guy

Bing walked up to Jane and said her a happy hello, and gave Crawford a curt nod. As curt as Chaz Bing can be. Crawford then proceeded to say this was private conversation and that Bing should leave. When he didn't leave Crawford then started to push him. Here's where the blind rage comes in: Chaz said angrily he had every right to be where he was. Maybe the blind rage is later? Crawford pushed him some more and said some not so nice language. No wait here's the blind rage. Bing gave him a good right hook. Which gave pretty boy Crawford a nice shiner for the ladies to admire. They then engaged in fisticuffs that Chaz actually won. No offense to Chaz but I didn't think he had it in him. But he is an Eagle Scout. You know be prepared and all that. He may have been suspended for a few days for fighting but he won dear Jane's heart with his strength, goodness, and lovely verse.

Oh nice guys finish last
When you are the outcast
Don't pat yourself on the back
You might break your spine

Living on command
You're shaking lots of hands
Kissing up and bleeding all your trust
Taking what you need
Bite the hand that feeds
You kill your memory***

* Friday I'm In Love By The Cure
**this is totally made up
*** Nice Guys Finish Last by Green Day

Chapter 4

Posted on Saturday, 15 June 2002

My name is Fitzwilliam Darcy. Yes, haha, the very same Fitzwilliam Darcy of "Pride and Prejudice". Strangely enough I have not an ounce of English blood in me. Not that it matters, but my great-grandfather on my father's side was Russian. Peter Darcechevsky.

He immigrated to America and moved to California's wine country. He changed his named to Peter Darcy to avoid discrimination and annoying mispronunciation of his name. He married a pretty young Irish lass and began doing odd jobs. Eventually he made enough money to buy some land and start a small vineyard. It grew very successful. His wife, Ginny's favorite book was "Pride and Prejudice". And suggested that the vineyard and all wine produced from it be called Pemberley. Pemberley was passed on to my grandfather, then my father and later to me. Each time becoming more profitable than before. I think partly the reason for our success is that Pemberley wine is a favorite of English professors, literary critics, and Janeites.

So before you get crazy and say that Jane Austen's masterpiece is real, I would like to remind you that all coincidences were done knowingly. Which I guess wouldn't make them coincidences? I'd say my identity is a gift and a curse. It's kinda cool in it's way but you wouldn't believe how many times I've been attacked by rabid Janeites. They obsess over me and love me and worship me, but once they get to know me and my reserve they decide that they'd rather have a Henry Tilney temperament guy, or a George Knightley, or a Colonel Brandon (alas I'm not in ROTC). But now I'm getting a bit freaked out.

I mean this is the biggest, weirdest, scariest coincidence since the Kennedy-Lincoln assassination parallels. It's actually more freaky since its bad on more than one level. I, Fitzwilliam Austen Darcy(my mother thought it would be funny) am in love with Elizabeth Bennet. Love?? Why oh why did it have to be love? I've never felt this way, its scaring the h*ll out of me! I've known her for what? 3 or 4 months? And how many conversations have I had with her? 8 1/2. Not enough to fall in love. But I've heard so many of her conversations of other people. I've seen her give speeches. And I've observed her for the last few months. I know I sound like a stalker, but I'm not. Well, I hope I'm not.

Of course I have to love Elizabeth Bennet. My mom, father, and little Via (cute little sis, bright red hair, already read all 6 Austen novels) will get a kick out of this! I haven't known her long, she's not special at all. Well ok she is, but not extraordinary I could have extraordinary if I wanted to. I've dated a couple of supermodels, aspiring singers all those beautiful, perfect ... and phony types. She's not perfect, not even close.

When we were moving from Lambton to open another branch of Dad's company (after he made the first billion he expanded to other industries) I never thought my love life would be any different. Same dates with gorgeous but vapid girls, maybe a couple of weeklong relationships with gold diggers, and the annoying admiration of Carmen Bing.

But Liz ... Hah she would probably punch me in the jaw if she knew that's what I called her.

Her eyes aren't sparkling, they're incredibly dark. And when she teases you they get even darker somehow. It's very cliché but I drown in them every time I see her. Her hair at first glance is black but when you see it again you notice the shades or auburn and rich brown and gold. She's short. All my past girlfriends have been the tall leggy type, but Liz is petite. Petite. Sigh. It's adorable, it makes me want to protect her. But if she knew that she would probably kick me very hard.

G*d she so amazing that I get light-headed when I think about her. And when I see her she makes me want to fly. She's intelligent. And sarcastic. I used to think sarcastic girls were jealous of the world and bitter but I know better now. She views the world with the eyes of someone wise. Someone who isn't fooled easily and who always thinks sensibly, but with a sense of humour.

I don't get it. Like in calculus she sits there and gets all the answers right but without any air or pretension. She sits diagonally from me. My grade isn't very good in that class not from lack of knowledge but because I can't pay attention. Rich Fitzwilliam sits behind her.

He leaned over. He was so close to her. I felt liking killing him. He was playing with her hair! Liz's hair. The hair I longed to touch. D**n Rich Fitzwilliam! Next scrimmage I'm fouling him! She was passing him a note. Why couldn't she pass me a note? She has nice handwriting. I've become Bing! I might as well write her an "Elizabeth, You Are An Angel" poem. She smiled at him!

The door opened and a random kid walked in, and handed a note to Mrs. Norris.

"Class, I will be back. I am needed at the office. I am always so useful, to Principal Thomas. Some matters of economy I believe. Last time I was called up, the gym teacher was trying to persuade Principal Thomas to buy new uniforms. But I was firm. I knew we would not need such things. Please continue your assignments." She left and everyone started talking.

Liz was laughing at what Rich was saying. Her laugh wasn't musical, or twinkling, or magical. It was loud and deep and hearty. It made you feel warm in side. It made my insides jello.

"Zizzy!" He calls her a nickname, she smiles. I call her a nickname she kicks my a$$. Not that I've actually called her a nickname...

She was smiling. And I think I heard bells and saw a burst of light. My toes were numb. Or I just lost all my wits.

"What Twitch?"

"Will you come with me to the audition tomorrow?

"Of course. What song are you singing?"

"On the Street Where You Live."

"Oh I love My Fair Lady!"

"You don't need to remind me! Have you forgotten our musical marathons? I've seen My Fair Lady with you at least 10 times!" Mmmm. Sitting with Liz in the dark for a few hours.

"Haha."

"And each time you had to sing along! My poor nerves!"

"Oh shut up!" This was said in a good-natured sweet tone that she reserved for her friends.

"What are you singing?"

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

"Isn't that kind of done?"

"Yesum, but it shows my range and allows me to do all the hand gestures that Dashwood likes"

"Have you suddenly become southern?"

"Hey, if it's good enough for Mammy*, it's good enough for me."

"You're not being logical."

"Of course not. I would be disappointed in myself if ever was."

She had a freckle on the back of her neck.

"Zizzy?"

"Yesum?"

Rich rolled his eyes.

"Are you coming to the game?"

"No."

"WHAT?!?!"

"Haha, I always come! It's just fun to see you freak out. You're awfully good at it."

"You're not so bad yourself."

"Excuse me, I do not freak out."

"Then what was that thing you did when I hosed you last summer."

"That was not freaking out, that was beating you down. You got me wet in front of practically everyone. You totally deserved it."

"Beat me down? Sure Ziz." Rich was tall and muscular. I could probably take him. He was about a foot taller than Elizabeth but I had a feeling she could most definitely "beat him down" if she wanted to.

Rich was wearing a lopsided grin. I'm sure most girls find cute. Brooding reserve has no chance next to cute grins, and cheerfulness. Well at least not with Elizabeth. I've had tons of girls throw themselves at me, for my Byronesque qualities (the looks not the masochism) and my wallet. Carmen is the most persevering kind. I guess there's nothing wrong with her. She is what American society would consider very attractive. But she's just so fake. Not my kind of beauty. Well not anymore. Lots of guys would jump at the chance to go out with her and yet she insists on torturing me.

The door opened and Mrs. Norris came back in. Rich, who was practically on Liz's desk, jumped back into his seat, and everyone stopped talking. Mrs. Norris droned on about functions of some sort but all I could notice was Liz tapping on her desk.

"Tap-tap-ta-taapa"

Hey I knew that song! She has good taste. I couldn't resist so I hummed along.

"Hmmm-hm-hmm-hm."

She looked at me first with mild surprise then with a hint of irritation. She is the only person I know who gets more beautiful when upset.

She was writing something. She ripped it off, made it into a ball and threw it over her shoulder at my forehead. Remarkable aim.

Please Stop!

At least she wrote me something!

She was still tapping. I had a good idea.

"So follow the leader down. And swallow your pride and drown. When there's no place left to go. Maybe that's when you will know**."

She stopped tapping turned around ... and ... smiled! Okay it was more of a wry grin, but-my toes were numb again! I think that, that incident is what caused my extreme moment of lunacy.

When I got home I raided Via's sheet music. She caught me and asked me what I was doing. Stupid child prodigies! I said I needed an audition song. Preferably Broadway-ish. In her typical Via fashion she found the perfect song in about 2 seconds. Seasons of Love from Rent. She played it for me a thousand times and I practiced it. My singing was a bit rusty considering the last time I had sung was before my voice changed, in our little school choir. I hope it works.

I'm incredibly stupid! How did I think this would ever work? I was standing there in "the pond" (what the auditorium was called) filling out an audition form while surrounded by talented people. They were warming up their voices and stretching. I knew who most of them were, but since I wasn't in MFA and since I was a "jock" I didn't know any of them personally.

I think there was some kind of double standard. Rich Fitzwilliam was superjock and yet he was their leader. But I was the stupid outsider. Well it's been like that almost of whole life in some way or another. Sure I'm always popular, but I'm never accepted. If that makes any sense at all.

The only real friends I have are Chaz Bing and Via Darcy. Which is pretty pathetic not only because I only have two friends but also because the latter is my 8 year-old sister. I put my filled out form on the stack and walked in. Most people were already seated. Where was Liz?

"Hahahahahhahah!" I heard her laughter. I walked directly toward her, like a moth to a flame. I stopped short a few rows of seats and sat down unnoticed. Rich Fitzwilliam walked in, and sauntered easily down the isle. Everyone was saying hello to him, high-fiving him, and practically cheering him while he jovially replied back. He saw Elizabeth and ran down and tackled her.

"TWITCH!" They were both on the floor and he had her pinned.

In about a second she had him pinned, even though her body weight most have been about half his. He was enjoying this too much! Tomorrow at practice I was going to get him! They both sat up and starting animatedly talking with everyone around them. Rich Fitzwilliam was not their leader, this was no democratic society, and he was their king. I felt sicker by the moment. They started auditioning with the girls. Each girl gave their sheet music to the music teacher who played for them while they sang. Some had nice voices, some had weak ones, some had stage presence, some didn't, then there was Elizabeth. She walked on stage with a grace I had never seen (she was usually clumsy but I thought it was cute.)

"Hi I'm Elizabeth Bennet, and I'll be singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow from Wizard of Oz."

She cued the piano player, her sister, Mary, and began

"Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby "

She looked so innocent and beautiful.

"Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true"

I never heard a voice so amazing. She was jumping octaves like it was nothing at all.

"Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me"

She most definitely had stage presence And I'm not just saying that because I'm in love with her.

"Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?"

Elizabeth was the last girl to go. Miss Dashwood called up the next five guys.

"...Rich Fitzwilliam, and William Darcy." Elizabeth who hadn't noticed me before, looked up in shock. Rich and the other guys handed their sheet music to Mary Bennet, who was playing the piano. Sheet music ... SHEET MUSIC! I didn't have mine, what was I going to do?!? The guys went, and Rich went. Of course Rich did perfectly and Liz cheered and ran to hug him when he came off stage.

"William Darcy." Oh Miss Dashwood was calling me! I walked on stage. Why was my shirt collar so tight?? Just before I could open my mouth, the doors opened and a little red headed figure ran in.

"Willy forgot his sweet music!" Despite Via's IQ of about 200 she still speaks with a lisp.

"Uh Miss Dashwood, I'm sorry this is my little sister, Via. She just brought my sheet music." Miss Dashwood was ready to look annoyed but say how cute Via was and told her to take it to the piano.

"Hullo, move over pwease."

Mary Bennet looked amused and surprised, but moved over nonetheless.

"Hi I'm William Darcy, and I'll be singing "Seasons of Love" from Rent." I nodded to Via and she began. Everyone in the room was surprised that a tiny young girl could play so well, but hey that's Via. Everyone was more surprised when I started singing.

"Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure - measure a year?

In daylights - In sunsets

In midnights - In cups of coffee

In inches - In miles

In laughter - In strife

In - Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure a year in the life

How about love?

How about love?

How about love?

Measure in love

Seasons of love

Seasons of love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life

Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned

Or in times that he cried

In bridges he burned

Or the way that she died

It's time now - to sing out

Tho' the story never ends

Let's celebrate

Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love

Remember the love

Remember the love

Measure in love

Measure, measure your life in love

Seasons of love ...

Seasons of love"

What was that? I heard ... applause! They like me! They really like me! Okay, well they probably despise me slightly less but okay. I went up to the piano to get Via but she protested.

"But Willy I want to play for da other people."

"That's up to Mary Bennet and Miss Dashwood."

"May I pwease play Miz Bennet an Miz Dashwood?"

She was giving them the eyes. HA, they didn't stand a chance. I'm convinced that Via should be an army general. Those innocent eyes conceal a sharp and dangerous mind.

"I don't mind, Miss Dashwood." Mary said smiling.

"Alright."

Via sat down again and played for the other guys who gave her sheet music. I walked back down to my seat, this time passing by Elizabeth and Rich.

Rich stood up and started telling me how incredibly marvelous I was. Elizabeth also stood and was staring at me.

"Will, why don't you sit with us?" Elizabeth was asking me to sit with her! She looked slightly embarrassed and confused but not irritated or annoyed.

Even if I don't get in the play, this plan might not be a total bust. Via got to play the piano for everyone, and I get to sit with Elizabeth! And ... Rich.

*Mammy from Gone With The Wind
**Follow the Leader by Unwritten Law

Chapter 5

Posted on Friday, 28 June 2002

"Will, why don't you sit with us?" Oh my! Why did I just say that?? Attack of the idiot again! Why did he try out? Why was he here? Wasn't he the guy who was insulting our theatre program a few days ago??

He sat down and smiled. Thank goodness Twitch was here.

"All right, we've finished the vocal auditions in a second Jane Bennet will teach you a sample dance. If you have tap, jazz, or other dance shoes get them now."

Miss Dashwood is the greatest. During the summer productions she makes us call her MaryAnn. She's really our friend not our teacher. She even told us the story behind her name. Her parents had never read Jane Austen. Apparently her mother's favorite show was Gilligan's Island and named her daughter after that MaryAnn.

There's been some very interesting gossip about Miss Dashwood. She's a very passionate lady, perfect for the head of MFA theatre. The head of the math department is this great guy, Mr. Brendon. He teaches Math Analysis and Algebra 2. I had him two years in a row. Just a wonderful teacher, always explains everything clearly and is nice and understanding. He used to be in the military so we all call him Colonel. He's even handsome in that Cary Grant way (but too old for us, he's like 35).

The gossip is that he's in love with Miss Dashwood. I've seen them in the same room a couple times and I totally agree. He looks like a love struck schoolboy. It's sweet and pathetic at the same time. Miss Dashwood won't give him the time of day. From all her passionate philosophies I have gathered that she thinks he's way too old for her (she's 28), he's boring (he can talk about graphing parabolas for hours), plus he was hurt by his ex-wife pretty badly, and Miss Dashwood doesn't believe in second attachments. But wait, there's more, Miss Dashwood is in love with Mr. Willis, one of my dad's colleagues. Mr. Willis teaches theatre at my dad's college. Dad doesn't like him at all. There've been rumors that he gets involved with his students.

Even more twisted is the fact that Mr. Willis and Mr. "Colonel" Brendon are enemies. Something about Mr. Willis toying with the Colonel's sister's heart. A wonderful soap opera huh? Days of Our Lives has nothing on the goings of the Meryton populace.

"Twitch, I left my dance shoes in the car, will you come with me?"

"I left my tap shoes there too. Let's go."

Twitch and I walked to my car and then to his. I had the Chevy Bel Air he had the Ferrari. When I think about the difference between our wealth it makes me want to laugh. Twitch was just as rich as Darcy, but Twitch was a whole lot nicer. When we got back Jane was warmed up and ready to embarrass me badly.

"Hey, so everyone come on stage. And I'll show you guys the steps."

We all walked onto the stage. Twitch was on my left in the second row, and on the right was-Will Darcy. Oh! Why did he have to be here to see my humiliation? I am a horrible dancer! And Jane wouldn't teach me the steps in advance. Some stupid things about ethics! There are no ethics in show biz!

"Okay, I'll start without the music. First you'll step front, step back. Then do opposite. Turn around. Side step. Kick. Girls will be wearing skirts while doing this. Turn again. Then side step and lean back and forth like this. That's it for now. But a lot of the dancing will be a lot harder than this. Some will involve picking up the girls. And some of the guy moves are flips and cool stuff like that. So we'll try it once without the music, then once with it."

Sure it sounds simple. But it's actually incredibly embarrassing. I was horrible. I look over at Rich and see him dancing perfectly. Must be all that ballet and tap his coaches made him take.

I did the only thing I knew how: I faked it. Act like you know what you are doing and smile pretty. Works every time. Well kind of.

"Okay that's great. Switch lines." The people in the back switched with the people in the front.

"Miss Dashwood, do you want them in groups now?"

"Yes, everyone please sit down and I'll call you up in groups of five."

Rich and I sat down. I saw Darcy moving to sit somewhere else.

"Hey Darce why don't you sit us?" I was just trying to be nice. I mean he's the only non-theatre person trying out ... I don't want him to feel left out. No matter how much of a jerk he is, I know how it is to be left out.

"Don't worry, we don't bite. Well, at least I don't. Zizzy, here is another story." Twitch gave me a pointed look.

"Okay, I was 6! You are never going to get over that?"

Darcy raised his eyebrow and I couldn't help but blush.

"Let me explain, Darcy-" Rich had that evil glint ... If he said anything I would have to tackle him.

"Twitch..." I think I'm pretty good at growling.

"Well, Zizzy was mutilating her Barbies one day when I decided it would be fun to cut her hair. So I started snipping and she grabbed the scissors from me and threw them across the room. From there it was pretty much an outright brawl. I had her in a headlock when she decided to go Dracula on me and bit my arm."

Darcy was crying from laughing. I felt like kissing him-I mean kicking him. That's what I meant. Kick him, kick him. I wanted to kick him!

"... Elizabeth Bennet, Richard Fitzwilliam, and Will Darcy."

Oh shoot. Might as well get it over with. I went up on stage and faked it like a pro. Rich was perfect again, and Will was so-so.

"We'll have a break now and then announce the callbacks."

We all walked outside.

"Human pyramid!" Rich yelled while picking me up.

"Ready! Okay!" Lisette started doing cartwheels. This was one of the oldest art freak traditions: making fun of the cheerleaders*.

"Tilly, get Elizabeth's feet." Henry Tilly grabbed my feet, while Rich had my arms. We were going to see how many people we could hold up.

"Now, Leah grab on to our legs."

"Zizzy, what condition are your abs in?"

"Not even close to yours."

"Of course, no one could be. Now, Isuara should get on your stomach." Isuara was lifted up and put across my stomach. Our human building was complete. Pictures were taken and people laughed. Yes, drama freaks are weird.

"I want to get down now. Henry! Twitch!" They wouldn't put me down.

"Ahh!" They were swinging me. I was getting pretty woozy.

They finally put me down with a thump and I promptly tackled Twitch. He deserved it. We continued horsing around until Miss Dashwood called us in.

"Okay, if I call your name that means, stay for further reading. If I don't call your name that means you are not in the play. Sorry, I didn't want to, but I had to cut some people. But you can always be on the crew. Which is always fun, right Elizabeth?"

I smiled and sheepishly replied, "Yesum."

"Elizabeth has a fondness for power tools." Miss Dashwood must still remember the building of the Guys and Dolls set...

"Okay, so here are the names: Rich, Will, Adam, Lisette, Leah, Janopy, Henry, Katja, Krysia, Ebony, Ashka, Guy, Russ, Freddie, Anne, Jimmy, Brandon, Elizabeth..." Some other names were said, but I kind of tuned out.

"Okay, I want Elizabeth and Will to do this scene."

She handed us a couple of sheets of paper.

I was Maria, and Will was ... Tony. I had to pretend to be in love with him? I guess it didn't matter since we were only going to act in one scene together. Will's little sister got off the piano bench and ran down to Will.

"Willy, Mama said she'd pick me up at 5. I gots to go now."

"All right, I love you Via. Bye." How sweet. He's not so bad when he's with his sister.

"You're pretty who are you?" She said to me.

"Why thank you. I'm Elizabeth Bennet."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Georgiana Victoria Darcy. Or Via for short. You and Willy are going to get married. Just like in 'Pride and Prejudice.' I think he already loves you." I turned beet red and looked at Will. He looked incredibly embarrassed.

"Via, Mama is waiting."

"Bye, it waz nice to meet all of you. Especially you Elizabeth." And with that the tiny girl was gone.

"Um, Will are you ready to start the scene?" I choked out.

"Yeah."

Will started.

"You're not thinking I'm someone else?"

"I know you are not." I loved being Maria. She was so innocent.

"Or that we have met before?" Will looked so hopeful. There was something in his eyes. A light

"I know we have not."

"I felt, I knew something-never-before was going to happen, had to happen. But this is-"

I interrupted him, "My hands are cold." Will took my hands in his. My stomach flopped, "Yours, too." I moved my hands to his face, and caressed it slowly. "So warm." Then I moved his hands to my face. His hands were so strong, and they made me feel ... Acting! I was acting! He was too!

"Yours, too."

"But of course. They are the same."

"It's so much to believe-you're not joking with me?" He looked so earnest.

"I have not yet learned how to joke that way. I think now I never will.**" I stared up into his face intently. Impulsively, he started kissing my hands. Then, he started leaning down, slowly, and closed his lips upon mine. So tenderly ... Acting!

When I heard the applause, I pulled back abruptly realizing where I was. Will looked disappointed. No, that couldn't be. I was just tolerable, wasn't I?

"Next, Rich, Krysia, Ebony, and Henry."

The auditions went on, but I was in a daze. The only thing clear in my head was a pair of rich brown eyes.

Will was still sitting next to me, all I said for the rest of the time was.

"Your sister's cute."

He replied with a look of ... something and a "Yes, that's Via."

The next day at school, we were all gathered at the theatre room to see the list posted. Rich and I stood next to each other. Miss Dashwood came up with the list and taped it to the window.

I squealed and started reading, "Bernardo- Henry Tilly, Anita- Katja Moore," Katja was so sweet and innocent but was an amazing actress who could definitely pull off fiery, experienced Anita. Oh and she was infatuated with Henry. How cute! They would play a couple, maybe Henry will finally realize how deep Katja was for him.

" Glad Hand-Adam Cuerdan," Adam was the weirdest of the weird. He spoke with a different accent every day, and was obsessed with Vikings, Dungeons and Dragons, and was a fellow Austen fan who always defended Bingley, oh and he had a thing for tractors, I think. Anyways, he was a really cool guy and head of the crew. Plus, he liked power tools, which always earns my respect.

"...Chino- Russ Montag." I used to have a crush on Russ. He's one of the nicest guys on the planet. Handsome too.

"Maria- Elizabeth Bennet." I hugged Rich.

"Riff- Richard Fitzwilliam." Rich looked really happy, but I practically screamed.

"Twitch you deserved to be Tony!"

"Actually, Riff requires better and more dancing, and you remember the group from yesterday." Rich had a point, Riff had the most dancing and Rich was the best dancer.

"Tony- Will Darcy. WILL DARCY! I have to be in love with Will Darcy! I have to kiss Will Darcy?!?!" That actually didn't seem too bad...

Rich was wearing a wicked grin, " You didn't mind yesterday."

I jumped on his toe, "You know I'd rather kiss Hil."

"Come on, Will's better than a German Shepard."

"Well, Hil's friendlier that's for sure. I mean Will Darcy acts like-"

"Zizzy.." Rich whispered.

"Like he's got a telephone pole up his-"

Someone cleared their throat. I turned around and was face to face with those rich brown eyes. He wore his normal, don't-talk-to-me mask, but it was graver than usual. He had heard what I said. If I haven't mentioned before, I'll mention it now. I'm an idiot.

*Based on real experiences, no offense to any cheerleaders out there!
**Act I Scene IV of West Side Story

Chapter 6

Posted on Wednesday, 3 July 2002

I don't know
If I can
I'm a jerk
Life's not fair
Party all the time
This is out of line
She loves me not
She love me not
Do you realize, I won't compromise
She loves me not*

Of course I heard that song, in the car while driving to school. That makes me feel real good about yesterday. Elizabeth hates me. Me and my jerkness. How could I even presume that she might have some regard for me, when I was always so mean to her. Her comments made me realize how arrogant my past actions were.

As I walked down the hall to lunch who should I run into but Elizabeth? She was as beautiful as ever. She looked surprised to see me. I decided to leave her alone before she had a chance to tell me to.

"Will, wait!"

I turned around slowly.

"What?"

"Don't say what, say pardon." Noticing my blank expression, she became serious again.

"Sorry. Um, I know you probably won't want to talk to me. But, I hope you'll hear me out." We walked out side and sat under a tree.

"I'm all ears."

She laughed nervously. I thought it was my job to be nervous around her.

"I want to apologize. For being so mean. All the things I said were uncalled for. I guess I've been prejudiced. I unfairly judged you from the beginning. And I'm really sorry for it. I know how it feels, to be left out, made fun of. And if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, then you're a better person than me."

"You have no reason to apologize, I-"

"Oh yes I do, ample reason. I was hoping we could maybe start over. And be friends?"

Friends! Oh, if you even knew... She doesn't hate me. She wants to be friends. It felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest.

"I'd like that."

"That's good since we have to fall in love." Did she know?!?

"For the play you know, you're Tony, I'm Maria." She looked amused.

"Yeah."

"So why don't we seal our friendship with a-" Kiss?

" -lunch. Here's a rather nice place to eat."

"Okay." I said smiling. She had a bread and butter sandwich, and a peach.

"Is that all you're going to eat? I've seen Carmen eat more than that."

Carmen, being Carmen Bing. Incredibly skinny, but thankfully not anorexic or bulimic. She eats about 7 meals a day, each consisting of tiny proportions.

"Hah, yes it is. I didn't have time to pack a larger lunch this morning. I care more about my sleep than my lunch."

"Do you want some of my sandwich, ham?"

She recoiled, I hope I didn't offend her.

"No thanks, I don't eat pork. But your offer was nice."

She moved back next to me. Next to me!

A large group of people saw us and walked over. I should probably say saw Elizabeth.

"Hey Russ, Rich, Emily, Greg, Carly, Jane, Chaz, Henry, Katja." She said each name with a nod of her head.

"Hey Elizabeth, Darce." This repeated a few times.

"Hey guys." I said.

Everyone sat down with their lunches and talked.

"So Henry, how is the costume design coming?"

"Great, great. Oh by the way, I'm taking measurements next rehearsal. You guys too, Rich, Darcy, Russ, Katja." He put a little more emphasis on Katja, hmm. Well she was hanging off his every word.

"What fabric are you using?" Katja said eagerly.

"Well for yours and a few others I'm using tulle, and some others. But I'm trying to use muslin for most of them. It really is a great fabric."

"It is very nice."

Everyone in the group groaned.

"What?" Katja asked innocently. I didn't get it myself.

"Tilly is a psychopath when it comes to defending the English language."

"I am not. It's just that nice always used to mean the neatest. So I guess the niceness of the fabric must depend on the thread count and how they are woven together."

Katja blushed and Russ reassured her, "Don't worry, Tilly doesn't mean any harm, it just likes to show off, his sharp wit. Besides you are in good company, Principal Thomas, all of us, Mark Twain, Mr. Ferrars (the AP English teacher), and the President of the United States."

Henry cried, "Hey, the state of the union needs to be grammatically correct!"

Everyone laughed and moved onto other subjects.

"Hey can I borrow a dollar anyone?" Rich asked. He's a teammate and best friends with Elizabeth...

"Here," I opened my wallet, and handed him a dollar.

"Hey, Will can I see those pictures?" Like I could deny Elizabeth anything?

"Sure."

"Let's see if I can guess who these people are. That's Via. Very cute. Love her red hair. She's got your nose. That must be your parents, your dad is very handsome, runs in the family," she said with a cheeky smile. "Your mother is beautiful. Hmm, are these people your grandparents?" I nodded and smiled. "Whose this?" She pointed to a girl our age with blue and green spiky hair, heavy eyeliner, about 20 earrings, spiky jewelry, black clothes with various tears, safety pins, and patches of plaid, ripped fishnet stockings, and huge Doc Martens.

I chuckled and answered, "That's my cousin Ana de Bourgh. My best friend in the family. In fact she's coming here next week. She was kicked out of her 7th boarding school."

Elizabeth smiled sincerely and said, "I think I'll like her," She turned to Rich who was staring at the picture, "I think Twitch here already does."

"What?"

I laughed and said, "I'll make sure to introduce you all." Especially Rich. Hey it's not a crime to try to get rid of the competition. Speaking of competition...Russ is pretty close to Elizabeth. And I recognize that look on his face, the one I've been wearing for the last few months...

She was giggling at what Russ said. Too bad that Russ doesn't play basketball. Oh, and he gets to kill me. Not literally of course. Chino shoots Tony, whoopee. But then again Tony kisses Maria, so it's all-good.

We had a game that night. At the beginning of the game the cheerleaders and the mascot did their routine. I saw Carmen and smiled. It always amazes me how quickly she adapts, the first week here; I was offending everyone I met. Well, she was too, but at least she was a cheerleader. She was standing next to the duck mascot. Hmmm, that was strange. Carmen bore a strange resemblance to the duck mascot. The more I looked the more I was sure of it. She caught my gaze and I averted it before she misconstrued it to mean my undying love for her.

We were playing Bronte High. Our big rivals. I heard that last year they pulled a really bad prank on Hertfordshire High. Something like getting a hundred dead ducks and putting them all over the field. The seniors are planning something big. Right now it's only in the beginning stages. We're all getting involved. Actually I think every group at the school is contributing, art freaks, jocks, and geniuses alike. Funny how we all unite against a common enemy.

When the cheers were over the line up was announced. Not to be cocky but Rich and I are the stars of the team.

"DARCY and FITZWILLIAM." Loud cheer. I looked up into the stands and saw all the people from the previous lunch a long with my sister. And they were all cheering loudly. Elizabeth was jumping up and down. Probably for Rich.

"AND THE MOORS(Bronte High's team name, they have dry ice at every game to make fog) ROCHESTER and HEATHCLIFF." The stars of Bronte. They were good. But Rich and I were better. Why were we better? Because we were from HHS, simple as that.

The game got underway. Our team scored some points and the other team scored some points. When Rich scored there were loud whoops, Elizabeth used her acting voice to cheer as loud as she could. It really would have been embarrassing if it wasn't so cute. I even heard her scream "GO DARCY!!!!" a couple times when I scored.

It was fourth quarter, 30 seconds on the clock. We were down by 2. Rich got the ball and passed it to me. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I was jumping... then the ball was rolling off my fingertips. I could hear the collected gasp, as the ball flew through the air and swooshed through the hoop, scoring a three pointer (Author's Note: Think Robert Horry's amazing shot during that one Laker/King game) and winning the game.

The buzzer rang. We had won the game. I saw Rochester and Heathcliff walking off to go brood somewhere. The crowd came rushing down and I was engulfed in frenzy. Somehow Elizabeth had got her petite form through the crowd and was hugging Rich. She saw me, ran, and practically jumped on me.

"Will you were so amazing! I'm so proud of you!" She said excitedly while hugging me.

"Elissabeth!"

"Oh Via!" She said while picking up Via.

"Willy, you were gweat! Elissabeth thinks so do. She said that you were fantastic and that Bronte didn't stand a chance wid you an Wich playing!"

We all walked out into the parking lot. I saw Elizabeth run up to a short plain looking brunette.

"Eyre!"

"Bennet!"

They hugged. And started talking excitedly about Girl Scouts and youth soccer. Rochester came up behind Miss Eyre, and hugged her.

"Elizabeth this is my boyfriend Eddie Rochester."

"Nice to meet you, you were great in the game." Rich and I walked up behind Elizabeth. One of us on either side. I think we both growled at Rochester, and Rochester gave a sort of hostile grunt.

"Jane, these are my friends Rich Fitzwilliam, and Will Darcy."

"Nice to meet you guys. You guys were amazing. Especially that last shot, Will." Rochester looked jealous and angry. Jane noticed this and whispered something in his ear that made him visibly relax.

"Hey, Rich Fitzwilliam? Weren't you that scrawny kid who followed Elizabeth to every meeting. You even came camping with us!"

Rich blushed and I mentally stored that for future teasing.

"Ziz, we have to leave now."

"Jane, it was so nice to see you! You too, Eddie." They hugged again and we walked out, but not before Rich and I gave Rochester one more menacing glare.

We got in Elizabeth's car and Rich finally remembered that he left his gym bag in the school.

"I'll be back in a sec, no hanky panky!" He waggled his eyebrows.

"I'll try to restrain my urge to jump Will till you get back." Elizabeth said with an arch smile.

Rich left and Elizabeth turned on the radio.

Maybe when the room is empty,
maybe when the bottle's full,
maybe when the door gets broke down love can break in.
Maybe when I'm done with thinking
maybe you can think me whole
maybe when I'm done with endings this can begin.
This can begin
This can begin

"Elizabeth..."

If you could be my punk rock princess,
I would be your garage band king.
You could tell my why you just don't fit in, and how your gonna be somethin'

"Yeah, Will?"

Maybe when your hair gets darker
maybe when your eyes get wide
maybe when the walls are smaller there will be more space.
Maybe when I'm not so tired
maybe you can step inside
maybe when I look for things that I can't replace
I can't replace
I can't replace

If you could be my punk rock princess
I would be your garage band king
You could tell my why you just don't fit in, and how your gonna be something
If I could be your first real heartache I would do it over again.
If you could be my punk rock princess you could be my heroine.

"I..."

I never thought you'd last
I never dreamed you would.
You watch your life go past
you wonder if you should ...
If you should be my punk rock princess so I would be your garage band king
you could tell my why you just don't fit in, and how your gonna be something.
If I could be your first real heartache, I would do it over again.
If you could be my punk rock princess I would be your heroine.

"I, um..."

Whoa Ohhhh, you know, you only burn my bridges
Whoa Ohhhh, you know, you just can't let it sink it.
You could be my heroine
You could be my heroine **

"I really l-"

"Heeeello!" Rich interrupted in a singsong voice. "I hope I haven't interrupted anything?" He said in a mock coy voice.

"Oh just get in Twitch."

We drove home and I flopped on my bed. Ah, well. There's always tomorrow.

* She Loves Me Not by Papa Roach
** Punk Rock Princess by Something Corporate (I'm not sure if its heroin or heroine but I used the latter since it's more child friendly. If it's the wrong lyric then sorry.)

Chapter 7

Posted on Monday, 15 July 2002

I was alone in the forest. All of a sudden a bear jumped out of the bush and started walked towards me, on two feet. He was getting closer. In a flash, the bear was n the ground being wrestled by a guy with dark curly hair...and muscular shoulders... Darcy! The bear disappeared and Darcy then started running toward me and tackled me. You would think it would hurt. You would think I would get angry and slap him. You would think...I wouldn't let him kiss me-

BEEEEEEEEEP

Alarm clocks are truly evil. Which means they must die. Which was my explanation to my mother when she found out I had thrown my alarm clock across the room and broke it into a million tiny pieces.

Ugh. I was late again. Why didn't I remember to fix my alarm clock? I had changed the time for it a few days ago to get a few extra minutes of sleep, which only ended up making me very late.

Jane being the angel that she is usually tries to wake me up but always fails. The only way to get me up is to be violent, or make a loud high beep noise (alarm clock style.) And since Jane could never do either of theses things, she just leaves me alone and takes Mary to school. Lydia and Kitty say that they would rather die than have their sister drive them to school. They truly love Jane, but they would much rather go with their friends.

I jumped out of bed and pulled on a clean pair of jeans, the ones that are frayed at the cuffs and make me look like a slob, a black t-shirt with the Paul Frank monkey on it (Julius I think his name is?), my neon green watch, and flip-flops (the ones my mom always tells me not to wear because my feet will get trampled). I grabbed my baby pink backpack with the jillion key chains (I can't stand pink, and yet love pink accessories), which thankfully was already packed and ran out the door. My parents and siblings had already left. My only chance was to hope Rich was late, or take one of the Fitzwilliam cars.

I ran out side and hopped over the short white picket fence (it was faster than opening the gate, which always seemed jammed.) I got to the door just as Rich opened it.
"Elizabeth Shaniqua Bennet! You're late again!"

"Twitch you know that's not my middle name! And you're late too! Hey why don't you drive me to school and we can be late together!"

"Why Elizabeth Mildred Bennet, won't that give people ideas?" He waggled his eyebrows and I laughed as I ran to his car.

My actual middle name is Lincoln. All my sisters have normal middle names, and I get the dead president. You see my parent's were on vacation in Washington D.C. when my mom was pregnant, in her last month, not a very smart thing to do. Jane was staying with my aunt and uncle. Anyways, she actually started having her contractions while they were visiting the Lincoln memorial. Luckily they got to the local hospital before she gave birth to me.

When we got to school, we went are separate ways, after of course, Rich asked me to give his regards to Mary Todd. Hah, he always makes fun of me whenever he can. But then again I always manage to return the favor.

I got to rehearsal and was surprised to find that Miss Dashwood was missing.

"Twitch, where's Miss Dashwood?"

"She's sick. Apparently very sick. The Colonel (Mr. Brendan) came and told us that you and I are the temporary directors."

"Oh my. I guess we better get started."

"Listen up, everyone! We're going to rehearse the dance scene. We've got it all blocked all ready so we're going to run through it quickly."

Everyone got in their places including Rich and me.

"Oi Ryt bois an' gils-"

"Adam, Adam, Adam, Glad Hand does not have an accent." I shook my head.

"All right, boys and girls! Attention, please! Attention! Thank you. It sure is a fine turnout tonight. We want to make friends here, so we're going to have a few get-together dances. You form two circles: boys on the outside, girls on the inside."

The scene went on smoothly. Rich and Janopy were great as Riff and Velma. Perfect dancing again. Ebony and Krysia danced very well as Consuelo and Rosalia. I still can't figure out how they kick their legs up so high... Russ was a very good Chino, I'd have to admit. And Will...Will was fantastic I saw Will and flushed as I recalled the dream I had. He's not so very bad you know...

We only rehearsed scenes we had already blocked, since Twitch and I weren't sure what Miss Dashwood wanted to do. One thing that really made me happy was that Henry seemed to be paying more attention to Katja. I was afraid Katja might languish forever in the throes of unrequited love. Okay, well not really. I just didn't want her to get crushed.

Russ, he played Chino, the guy I used to be in love with for 10 years, finally seemed to be noticing me. I'm exaggerating he never actually ignored me, we were always friends. And recently he's been noticing me more. I'm not sure if I should be happy or not.

"Elizabeth, can I walk you to your car?" Jane had left me the car since Chaz was picking her up, and Rich was taking his own car.

"Sure, Russ." We had some friendly conversation, nothing out of the ordinary. He was sweet and charming, but I didn't feel all mushy inside like I used to, when he was around.

"Elizabeth, I need to tell you something." It should have hit me then, if only it had hit me then!

"What?"

"I-I-" then with out even finishing his sentence he goes and kisses me. On the lips. He was a good kisser. His lips were soft, and he was tender. But I just knew I didn't want to be kissing him. I didn't know what I felt, but I knew I shouldn't be kissing Russ. I broke away.

"Russ, I don't feel that way about you..." Out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar frame running back inside. I don't know why, but I know I needed to run after him, explain. Darcy had to understand. He had to!

I couldn't have Darcy, Will, leave thinking that I liked Russ. When I really liked-him.

I was in shock so it kinda of took me awhile to get my legs to work.

"I'm sorry, I-I have to go." I ran off after Darcy feeling quite bewildered. First Russ has feelings for me, then I have feelings for Will. It was too much for a girl to take.

I was running as hard as I could, but he had a big head start, and I didn't know where he went. I looked around for a little while, then giving up, left.

Chapter 8

Posted on Sunday, 21 July 2002

I was in a very happy mood. Everything was all zippity-doo-da. Liz (I still wish I could get up enough courage to call her that to her face,) and I had rehearsed the dance scene, it always put me in a good mood.

In those few moments, I always felt like she cared about me. After the scene I would always remember that she was just a good actress, but even for only a few minutes it made me feel like I was in heaven.

I would have whistled if I had known how. Well technically I do know how, I just can't.

I was humming instead. Something's comiiiing! Don't know what it iss, but it is gooi-

Elizabeth and Russ were kissing. In the parking lot. Russ and Elizabeth were kissing. In the parking lot. Kissing. Them. Parking lot.

I turned around and rushed back into the school as fast as I could.

My head wasn't working. I was an idiot. Why should I expect Elizabeth to wait for me?

And though I felt like strangling Russ, I couldn't blame him. He was just doing what I didn't have the courage to do. But wanted to do so badly.

I don't know why I walked into the school. I just thought that maybe if I walked in the opposite direction, I could get rid of the image of the girl I loved kissing another guy.

I was in such a daze that I didn't notice Bing.

"You don't deserve her."

Bing, who I still didn't know existed was walking with me. And if I had realized his presence, I would also have realized I was talking a loud to myself.

"She should be with someone better than you. What are you compared to her? Nothing. You should give her up, you're only hurting yourself."

I tripped over myself, and kept talking to myself.

"Give her up. Let her have someone worthy of her! You're just a stupid moron, and she's...she's wonderful"

I became wistful, before I suddenly snapped out of it, to see an ashen Bing. But before I could ask him about it, he was already gone.

I shrugged and walked out to my car. I was glad that Li- I mean Elizabeth and Russ had already left. I don't know if I could handle witnessing anymore.

The world is treating me bad ... Misery.

I'm the kind of guy,
Who never used to cry,
The world is treatin' me bad... Misery!

I've lost her now for sure,
I won't see her no more,
It's gonna be a drag... Misery!

I moved to turn off the stereo, but couldn't bring myself to do it.

I'll remember all the little things we've done
Can't she see she'll always be the only one, only one.

Send her back to me,
'Cause everyone can see
Without her I will be in misery

I'll remember all the little things we've done.
She'll remember and she'll miss her only one, lonely one.

Send her back to me,
'Cause everyone can see,
Without her I will be in misery oh oh oh
In misery ooh ee ooh ooh
My misery la la la la la la*

I went home, and got packed for the party Rich was having. A bunch of the guys from the team and the play, were staying over night at his house.

Just what I needed, to sleep next door to Liz. I mean Elizabeth.

Mmmm. Sleep is good. Very good. I've always loved to sleep. I'm sure that makes me sound like a slacker, which I probably am. But sleep is still-

"*GULP* *SOB* *GULP* *SOB* *UMPH* *GULP* *SOB*"

There's only one person in the world who cries like that; Jane. It would actually be very funny if the fact that Jane was sad wasn't so wrong.

My bed was so warm and nice and sof- Jane was crying! I got out of bed and ran into Jane's room. Her eyes were bloodshot and I could tell she hadn't slept at all. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, but the look in her eyes told me she couldn't speak about it, so I just walked over to her and hugged her.

Mary walked into the room carrying her amp and her electric guitar.

"Now Jane, I have something to cheer you up. This song is dedicated to Chaz."

Chaz???

And in the manner of an angry girl punk band Mary sang or rather yelled and played:

"*You're a stupid jerk!

You're a stupid jerk!

That's why it wouldn't work

Cause you're a stu-oohpid jerk!

Woah oh! Yea!

I hope you rot and die

Or forget to zip your fly

Go screw a tree

And leave me be

Cause you're a stupid jerk!

Yes a stu-oahpid jerk!

Woah oh! Yea!

You stupid jerk!
You can kiss my a-"

"Yes! Thank you Mary!" If Jane hadn't started to sob harder, I might have told Mary how cool that was.

I didn't know Mary had that much rage in her ... That explains why she hasn't had a date in awhile ... Not that I should be talking. I mean I- Jane's problems are more important than mine.

"Janie Bean," I said as soothingly as I could muster, "What happened? Did you and Chaz have a fight?"

"W-w-eeee bro-broke *sob* up!"

VAT?! Yes when I get surprised I speak/think in a foreign accent, but that is beside the point ... Chazz and Jane, broke up?!?! That defies everything I ever believed to be true!

Wait, Chaz and Jane broke up. Chaz, that- that twit! I thought I knew him! We were friends! And the Chaz that was my friend wouldn't break my beloved sister's heart!

Wait, I'll hear all the facts, then break his neck.

"What, why?"

"He- he!" Jane then threw herself onto the bed face down to cry some more.

I looked at Mary questioningly.

"Walk with me talk with me." I followed Mary out of the room.

"Apparently the idiot, broke up with her last night after rehearsal. He rambled on about not being good enough for her, and her deserving better. Like she doesn't have good taste or something. He said it was for the best drove her home and kissed her forehead. She was in too much shock to really do anything but shake her head."

"But! That doesn't make any sense...I mean where'd Chaz get that idea. Besides, nobody minds having what is too good for them!"

"I know, I know."

"I guess all we can do now is comfort her. That is until I get my hands on Chaz..."

"This is even worse than when her cat Snuggles died." She was right. We were going to need some help.

"I think we're going to need the cavalry."

Mary nodded solemnly. And I ran to Rich's house.

The door was open.

"TWIIITCH!! Something really bad has happened! Jane's really upset! I need your help! TWIIITCH! WHERE ARE YOU?" I yelled as I walked up the stairs.

I came to his room, which because of its size and green carpet resembled a football field more than a bedroom. I opened the door, "Richard Fitz-"

Rich was not alone. In fact there were about twelve guys in his room (I told you it was big) with him. Including Russ and Darcy. Why didn't I remember Rich's party!?

And of course they all turned to look at me. Which made me realize what I was wearing...a camisole, drawstring boxer (short!) shorts, and huge bugs bunny slippers. I mean I wouldn't have cared at all if it was just Twitch...but *gulp* twelve other guys! Including one who liked me (Russ), and one who I liked (Darcy.)

I face felt warm, and I avoided all their eyes. But I was on a mission!

"Rich, can I please talk to you, um outside. Sorry to interrupt but its really important."

I then noticed Chaz. I think I growled at him. Chaz wasn't on the team or in the play...I guess Rich had invited him because of Darcy.

"Sure Ziz." Rich got up to follow me.

"You too Chaz." I said in a rather menacing tone. He looked like a lamb being led to slaughter. He knew what I was here to talk about.

We went into the hall.

"Why's Jane upset?"

"Because this idiot broke up with her!"

Twitch looked incredulously at a Chaz.

"You what?"

"It's for the best."

"So that's why her were so sad when you came..." Rich mumbled.

"Chaz, really how could it be for the best, if both you and Jane are miserable? You are miserable right?" If you aren't I could arrange it...

"Yes, very much so. I love her..."

"Then what the heck?!"

"Just because I love her doesn't mean she loves me."

"Well you, freak, why didn't you ask her?!"

"Um."

"And where did you get all this junk about you not being worthy of her?"

"Uh, well. I was talking to Darcy..." Darcy?!

"And he pointed it out. But he's right!"

"So it's all his fault?!" To think ... my Darcy...

"No, no. He was right. He made me think about it. It's not his fault."

Oh yes it was. Chaz was always so modest. He thought way too highly of Darcy and his judgment. It all fit!

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when a person builds up a lot of rage it must go somewhere. If their first object of rage acquits himself, that rage must go to another person. Like the person who destroyed the happiness of a most beloved sister...

* My own creation (explains a lot doesn't it?), or should I say Mary's.

Chapter 10

Posted on Sunday, 1 September 2002

Rich's party didn't make me feel any better. Russ was there. Chaz was there. Henry was there. Rich was there. Adam was there. Greg was there. Heck even Jack Crawford was there. I thought it was going to be just the play and the team but I guess I was wrong. They talked about stuff and I listened sullenly. Of course the conversation eventually lead to girls.

Rich talked about the beautiful girls of Europe and such and such red head and such and such blonde. Jack Crawford did the same thing except Rich talked about how sweet and funny and nice they were and how pretty their eyes and hair was, while Crawford talked about well, other aspects of females.

Henry and Greg were incredibly clueless. Henry babbled on about how sweet and nice and beautiful no pretty no beautiful no angelic- well just how all around amazing Katja was. The poor guy was practically in love with her and wouldn't admit it. Was he going to ask her out? No, of course not. She's like his little sister. But I have a feeling that he doesn't get that dazed look he was wearing while talking about his sister.

Greg was worse. He gave us a full-blown monologue (monologue? I've spent too much time with theatre people) on the faults of Emily Wadhouse. I never knew Emily was so spoiled or superficial. Then he'd drone on about what a fop Fred Churchill was and how he didn't deserve her. Then his eyes would soften and he talk about how cute Emily was when she got a scheme in her head. And how her nose would wrinkle up when she didn't like something...

Adam said some incomprehensible stuff. I guess I tuned out after the second "Yarr!"

Chaz had been silent and unapproachable the entire evening. Yes, Chaz. It seems he took over my job.

Russ just grunted that his love life was fine. I thought he would be smug. Maybe he didn't talk about Elizabeth because she was best friends with Rich.

And I, I said that well, that I, didn't well, have ... a love life at all.

I slept pretty badly so when Elizabeth stormed in asking for Rich's help, I kinda thought I was dreaming. She looked very cute distressed. Not that I would ever want her to be distressed. Just that I would like to alleviate the distress. Be the knight in shining armor. Hmmm, actually Elizabeth would probably have her own horse, armor, and sword and wouldn't need a knight.

And besides being cute she was also very ... I mean she was wearing ... I mean ... I AM NOT JACK CRAWFORD. I AM NOT JACK CRAWFORD! Wait, what would that jerk be thinking? I'll kill him!

They were talking ... Jane was upset ... Chaz was an idiot ... Something was for the best ... Chaz was a freak ... Darcy was ... Darcy?? Where'd I come in to this? Was this a good or a bad thing? By the way Elizabeth had growled I had figured it was all a bad thing.

Rich and Chaz came back in both looking red in the face.

"Uh, Darcy I think you should go outside."

I got up ready to face- What was I going to face anyways? I think I heard Adam, Henry, and Greg humming the funeral song (does that have an official name?) Or maybe it was the wedding march? No funeral.

I walked out into the hall and saw that Elizabeth was nowhere to be found. I walked downstairs and found her pacing.

She turned and looked at me with so much anger that I wanted to run back upstairs. Though I did like the way her eyes flashed...

"How could you do what you did??? You stupid jerk! I thought you were nice and not arrogant But you are! How could you be so presumptuous?? So mean??"

What?!

"What?!"

"Oh don't try to pretend you didn't make Chaz break up with Jane! Oh excuse me "advise him"! You know as well as I do that Chaz is very well modest and he respects you so much, so why would you use that against him and Jane??"

Chaz broke up with Jane? I advised him to? What the...

Wait, ashen Bing after I rambled on about not deserving Elizabeth. But did I say that I didn't deserve Elizabeth?? Was Chaz there the whole time?? That could be the only explanation...I felt like banging my head against a wall, but that might incriminate me more.

"What I can't figure out is what your motive is? What reason could you have for making them both miserable?? I mean is Jane not rich enough for your friend?? Do you have something against people being happy?? Or are...are you in love with Jane?? You must be!"

No, no, no!

"No I'm not in love with Jane! I'm in love with you!"

All the anger went out of her eyes and was replaced by extreme shock.

"What..."

"I'm in love with you! I saw you and Russ kiss and I was miserable and when I'm miserable I talk to myself and, and so I talked to myself but I didn't know that Chaz was there and I didn't know he was stupid enough to think I was talking to him or to believe that he wasn't good enough for Jane. I was only telling myself that I don't deserve you, which I don't. But Chaz thought I was talking about him and Jane and you're right he is very modest and has a high opinion of my judgment so, so he broke up with Jane and made himself and Jane and you miserable and yea..."

I inhaled sharply while Elizabeth turned white.

"But, but-"

"I love you."

"I, I."

"I love you."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry!" And she ran out of the house in tears.

What a wretched idiot I am. She doesn't even like me. She wouldn't want to hurt me. I just hope she believed me. She did, I think, otherwise ... otherwise I don't know.

All I knew is that I had to go home.

I ran upstairs and into Rich's room.

"I told my parents I'd be home at-" I looked at my watch, "9:43. Thanks Rich. Bye."

I grabbed my stuff and ran out. When I got home my ears were assailed by very loud guitar and piano. Ana was here. I walked into the music room and found Ana and Via rocking out. Via looks pretty funny rocking out, with her frizzy red hair, shortness, and for lack of a better word, Vianess. Besides she was rocking out on a piano. I knew my parents couldn't be home because they could only tolerate jazz and classical.

On the other hand rocking out was exactly what my cousin, Ana de Bourgh was born to do.

When they saw me they both ran to hug me. At least somebody loved me.

"Hey Ana I though you were coming in a couple days?"

"I couldn't stand another lecture from my mother so I transferred my ticket and came without telling her."

"You know she's going to freak out. She does love you."

"She probably too busy with her new boyfriend to bother."

"Another one."

"Yea, this time a sniveling, pompous, jerk. He makes me call him Mr. Collins."

"Haha, sounds like a looney."

"Hey what's wrong with you? You don't look too good Will."

"He haz girl pwoblems."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Therez diz girl-"

"Via!"

"Diz girl, her name-"

"Georgiana Victoria Darcy!"

The surprise of hearing her full name only stopped her for a second.

"Her name iz E-"

"I'll tell you where Mom hid the chocolate."

"Weally Where?!?"

"In the cabinet under the sink of the blue upstairs bathroom."

And the little chocolate fiend ran away.

"Will what's this about the girl? Is she throwing herself at you?"

"No quite the opposite."

"Does she know you're the Great Fitzwilliam Darcy?"

"Yes, and she doesn't care."

"I like her already."

"I told her I loved her and she ran away."

Ana was still fiddling with her guitar and played a few chords of "Teenager in Love"

"Why must I be a teenager in love*??"

"What's the lucky girls name?"

"Elizabeth Bennet."

"Hahahhahahahha! There's you're answer right there. You must be in love because you are Fitzwilliam Darcy and she's Elizabeth Bennet. I mean there's a whole book written about your romance."

"Oh shut up Ana."

"I think she's scared."

"What?"

"Your fine-eyed love. She has fine eyes right?"

"Beautiful." I said wistfully and Ana chuckled some more.

"I have no idea what happened but I have a feeling she was clueless about your feelings and then you burst out with I love you."

"No she hates me."

"Trust me, no woman hates a guy for saying he loves her. In fact some of the greatest love stories of all time have started out like that. Once she knows you love her. She'll feel flattered, then she'll start thinking about the possibilities. If you don't see her for a couple days, all she'll be able to think of is your eyes and your voice and that one moment when your hands touched and romantic junk like that."

"Weally? I mean really?"

"Of course."

"And how do you know this?"

"You may not notice, but I am a girl."

"It's hard not to notice now that you have neon pink hair."

"You know my mother is always telling me to be more feminine. But when I dyed it from green to pink she said that's not what she meant. I mean how much more feminine can you get?" Ana grinned.

"By the way, how'd you get kicked out of the latest boarding school?"

She grinned wider.

"Well this one was co-ed. And when one of the little idiots tried to feel me up, lets just say I put my Doc Martens to good use."

I grinned too. Partly because of the thought of Ana and her steel toe boots and partly because Elizabeth might be thinking of me. Elizabeth, thinking, of, me.

*Teenager In Love by Dion and The Belmonts

Chapter 11

Saturday, 19 October 2002

Where does anger go when both of your targets acquit themselves? Yourself.

Okay so I'm mad at myself.

What happens when a guy who you disliked then liked then disliked again says he loves you?

Okay so I'm confused.

What happens when you make a huge fool out of yourself?

Okay so I'm embarrassed.

And most of all, what happens when you find out that you're a terrible, mean person who has no rational thought?

Okay so I'm ... I'm ... well I'm not particularly liking myself.

It was too overwhelming. He loved me. I was completely wrong. I accused him of such horrible things. And he loves me. Or did love me. I have a hard time believing he still would after what I said.

What did I say? I can't remember. Just awful stupid assumptions.

How could I even think what I did about him? He's a good, nice, intelligent, talented, sweet, honest, caring, cute- wrong train of thought.

Enough of my twisted problems. Jane and Chaz. They're more important.

Chaz came over in the afternoon. He brought daisies and peppermint patties, Jane's favorites. He looked incredibly anxious.

"Can I speak to Jane? Do you think she'll talk to me?"

Jane wasn't one to hold a grudge. But it might be too painful for her to talk to Chaz.

"I don't know. I'll go ask her."

On the way to her room I caught Mary, who had seen Chaz come in.

"What is he doing here?? That lowdown"

"Mary I know what you think of him. And whether or not he is a stupid jerk Jane loves him and he loves her. So I'm going to go talk to her. And you are not going to go terrorize Chaz."

"Janie?"

I got a muffled response.

"Janie, Chaz is downstairs-"

She shot up.

"Chaz?"

"He's downstairs and he wants to talk to you."

"Well what if I don't want to talk to him!"

"Then you don't need to talk to him." I said gently.

"Oh but, Elizabeth, I do want to talk to him!"

"Then go talk to him."

"I look awful."

"You look beautiful."

"I'm sure my Rudolph nose enhances my beauty."

"You look beautiful to me. And since Chaz loves you, you'll look beautiful to him."

Jane got up silently, blew her nose (very ladylike of course) and walked downstairs.

Chaz looked up and seemed to forget where he was or the current situation between him and Jane. All he could see was the woman he loved. If he wasn't my friend and Jane wasn't my sister I probably would have gagged then.

I shouldn't have listened in. But I did.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Um."

"Um."

"Jane, I'm sorry."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Can you forgive me?"

"No. At least not right now."

(insert awkward pause)

"Oh."

"Do you know what you need to be forgiven for?"

"That I'm an idiot."

"No you're not. It's jus-just that you need to talk to me. It hurt the most that you didn't give me a chance to talk to you about it. Just because you think something doesn't mean I do too."

"I know, I'm really sorry."

(insert shy covert looks)

"So, Jane...what happens now?" Chaz's voice quavered.

"I don't think we should see each other for awhile."

Chaz looked as white as a sheet and Jane wasn't very happy either.

"Not forever or anything like that. Just for a while."

(insert sad silence)

"Okay, Jane. I'll see you around then..."

(insert longing looks)

He gave her soft kiss on the cheek and walked slowly away. But right before he got to the door he turned around and said, "I love you Janie. I hope you like the daisies."

And he was gone. Jane sat there caressing a daisy, deep in thought.

Goodness I felt like crying after that. I didn't want to force Jane to talk about it. She would come to me when she wanted to.

"Hey Twitch come on."

I grabbed him, and we ran down to the Pond. As seniors we had the right to hang out in the theatre during other classes. We walked in and sat in the back. Ahh, the sweet smell of drills and wood. I loved stagecraft when I was in it. And Mr. Wentworth was the greatest teacher ever. He taught stagecraft and actor's reparatory. And our famous annual "Wenty" awards were named after him.

The class was working on the West Side Story set. Most were securing and leveling the buildings. I saw a balcony being made. And of course I saw Adam, the shop foreman along with Henry, "helping" the freshmen. Adam had a way of helping that made the freshmen more confused and a bit scared (he was a bit power trippy.)

"I'm going in."

Rich got up, and went towards some kids who were having trouble framing some doorskin. And of course when Adam walked by Rich couldn't resist, "Hey, Adam! You know what?"

"Err?"

"Sheep suck! And your Bingley? He's a wuss!*" Rich had a big grin.

The innocent freshmen gasped.

"ARR!?" With that Adam, also wearing a huge grin, leaped towards Rich who started running. Mr. Wentworth was not in sight. They were both jumping over chairs, ducking under hanging lights, almost running into people moving flats... (who says drama freaks don't exercise?)

"Zizzy! Help!" Twitch yelled while laughing and running. So I started running too. Rich ran out onto the loading dock, then turned and ran up the stars to the unoccupied green room, and into the art hall, Rich turned to go back into the pond, with Adam at his heels. I was running after them too and laughing so hard that I didn't notice someone was in front of me until I ran into him.

I looked up slowly and gulped.

"Hi, Will."

*Note: These are not the opinions of the Authoress.

Chapter 12

Posted on Monday, 11 November 2002

I got to school feeling bad, so bad that I seem to have lost all my SAT vocabulary and can only use the word bad. It's very versatile, almost as much as nice. Okay, I felt bad...

Today was the last day of school before spring break and I was leaving a day earlier for Pemberley. So during my free period, I decided to go to the MFA office and get reservations for my family to the show. We were performing the week after spring break ...or was it the week after that?

When I walked to the hall, I saw two blurbs rush by me, one yelling "SURRENDER FOOL!" and the other yelling, "NEVER SHEEP FREAK!"

I also felt a soft thud as the third blurb bumped into me. Instinctively, I grabbed the blurb so it wouldn't fall. I looked down and saw the blurb to be none other than dearest, loveliest Elizabeth.

"Hi, Will."

"Umm."

Wait! She'll think I'm rude and arrogant!

"Hi Elizabeth. How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks for asking. How are you?"

"I'm good. How is your family?"

"They're in good health."

"And how are you?"

Elizabeth giggled.

"I'm fine."

"Um...who were the blurs?"

She chuckled her beautiful chuckle.

"That was Adam and Rich. Rich insulted Adam's farmboyness."

I smiled ... and she smiled ... and I noticed we were walking towards the theatre.

We walked in and saw the stagecraft class working. Then Elizabeth burst out laughing and pointed. After much struggle I averted my eyes from her face to see what happened.

Rich and Adam occupied the two trashcans on the stage.

Henry came up to us after taking a picture, while they were trying to get out.

"I got sick of their antics. I told the freshmen that it was just like moving flats and platforms into storage..."

I laughed pretty hard at that, and harder when they both fell over trying to get out. When I got finally under control, I noticed Elizabeth was staring at me, with something strange in her eyes. Could it be surprise? Maybe in my delusions...admiration?

"I've never seen you laugh like that. I wish- I mean you should do it more often."

I smiled wide and said, "Maybe I will."

Elizabeth looked away and my heart sank. Then she looked back with a slight smile.

"Are you going to the art festival?"

"What art festival?

"The California Youth Art Competition*."

"Oh no. I really got to go" Elizabeth frowned just as the bell rang.

"Bye, I'll see ya."

"Sure." I muttered as I rushed out. I could still smell her scent in the air as I ran to my next class and somehow felt her presence with me as my arm automatically reached out ... Love makes people into basketcases. And I feel like the biggest one.

Chapter 13

Posted on Monday, 11 November 2002

I walked slowly to my class after Will rushed out. He had tried to be nice and polite. Maybe he didn't hate me or anything like that. Then he had left in a hurry. Maybe he really just needed to get to class ... or ... he hates me ... no ... my head was throbbing.

This was probably the most bizarre year ever. We had spring a week after Easter. We were performing West Side Story with a interruption of rehearsals and ... well, like, other weird stuff was happening too...

Well, anyways, a good thing about this year is that I'm going to the California Youth Art Competition over spring break. I'll be competing in 2 categories, in monologues with my old favorite, Lady Percy's speech from Henry the IV part 1 ... or was it part 2? I've had it memorized for so long that I haven't looked at the actual play in a while. It's a really powerful piece, it goes through a whole gamut of emotions, I've been practicing and performing it since the 7th grade.

Then I'm competing in vocal with "In My Life" from Les Mis. I love that song. Twitch didn't want to do it this year; he said something about giving the rest of the students in California a chance.

Jane was going to perform a dance, but decided she's rather not. Besides, who would take care of the Gardner children?

My Aunt and Uncle Gardner were driving me up to the festival in Northern California, its usually held at some vineyard. They had three little children who they would leave under Jane's loving care.

Lydia was competing too in sculpture, but she was going with her friend Haley Forster and her boyfriend. I warned dad that she couldn't be trusted with those two, but dad waved it off. Kitty had been acting like a baby since she found out Lydia was going. The Gardners reluctantly asked her to join us, but Kitty said that if she couldn't go with cool people, she wouldn't go at all! Gee thanks Kitty.

So I was sitting in the car about 5 hours into the trip, when I got the sudden urge to know which vineyard the competition was being held at. I asked Uncle Ed.

"WHAT???"

*Made up but based on real competitions.

Chapter 14

Posted on Thursday, 16 January 2003

We got to the airport at 7 o clock after a REALLY early flight. Via was still asleep and I carried her to the limo that was taking us home. Ana's eyes were just angry slits, every few minutes she glared at me, as if it was my fault that it was the morning. Sorry I don't control the earth's rotation.

When we got to Pemberley, there seemed to be a lot of activity going on. I scanned my hazy brain for an answer but I didn't come up with something until I saw a big banner with "California Youth Art Competition" on it.

Hmmm. California Youth Art Competition ... California Youth Art Competition ... CALIFORNIA YOUTH ART COMPETITION! The thing my mom briefly mentioned was taking place at Pemberley. The thing that Elizabeth had mentioned ... I asked Louie to stop the limo, saying that I needed to walk the rest of the way back to the house to clear my mind. Louie just looked at me strangely, considering that its about 5 miles from the outer park area and vineyard to the private house.

I wandered through the rows of set up booths and stages, accidentally bumping into some large tech guys, setting up mikes. Then I saw her.

I could say something lame and Chaz like about how the sun shined on her creating a halo and made her look like an angel. But I'd rather say she just looked beautiful, wonderfully, humanly beautiful. She was dressed casual with her dark, dark wavy hair pulled back in a ponytail, she was squinting at a booklet as her foot absently tapped. Then she looked up.

We stared for at least a full minute, making me look of course like a genius (hah.) Then my lips moved and sounds came out.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I thought you said you weren't coming."

"Oh I wasn't. I mean. Well. You know, Pemberley? I live here."

"Yeah I realized that right after I said it."

Her lips twitched in amusement.

"So, what is this?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It's at your house and you don't know?"

"Well," I said sheepishly, "no one tells me anything."

She chuckled and said, "It's a festival. There's all these categories to compete in. Like vocal, monologue, scene, dance, visual art, photography, and people from all over California come and compete."

"What are you doing?"

"Vocal and monologue."

"Do you want to come to the house...and get some coffee?"

"Um, I think there's something I have to be here for in like 5 minutes. Rules reading or something. Besides there's probably a rule about invading the privacy of the host. And, coffee's gross."

"Oh. I'll see you. Am I allowed to come see the performances?"

She opened the booklet and flipped through it until she found what she was looking for.

"You're allowed to look at the galleries, it says that no one's allowed to see the finals, though I don't know how they'd do that since the whole thing's out side. But you can come see the first round." She smiled and I smiled.
"When and where are you performing?"

"I actually haven't figured it out yet. Too many numbers, too early you know. Here you can have this I'll get another one in a second."

"Okay, um if you have lunch break would you like to come up to the house? And bring whoever you're with?"

"Sure, lunch is at 12:30, is that okay?"

"Perfect. See you."

"See you."

I turned and walked as fast as I could back to the house. Otherwise I might have ended up staying there forever.

"Willy, can I go see her too??"

"Sure."

"I bet you she's a weally good actwiss!"

"I know she is."

"So I get 5 bucks!"

"We didn't bet, and we certainly didn't agree on 5 bucks."

"It waz worth a shot."

"That's my Via, always the opportunist." Ana said as she walked into the room, her attitude noticeably improved since she had her medicinal dose of caffeine.

"Is your lady-love here?"

"How'd you know?"

"That look on your face. It's quite sickening."

"She's performing at the art competition thing that's here."

"Oh. Do I get to see her?"

"As long as you promise not to intentionally frighten her."

"I'm never intentionally frightening."

"Yeah sure."

"Whatever, I think you need some coffee."

"I don't need drugs to enhance my personality, like you, Ana."

"Forgive me, I forgot you were high on love." I left the room with her smirking after me.

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