What Every Child Wish Their Parents Knew

Based on Seminar above by Rob/Dianne Parson (Focus on the Family)

1. Give Them Time

Do not make the excuse that you will spend more time with the children when you have more time later, coz “Life Will Always Be Busy!”

We can fall into the trap of being so busy giving our children what we did not have, that we fail to give them what we had.

You must be there for them, for if you are not there for them, they will not listen to you.

Once the childhood door is closed, it is closed. And it closes very fast.

Notably, in our old age, we would never regret we did not spend more time in the office, but we would definitely regret not spending enough time with our family.

2. Laugh With Your Children

Play and have fun with your children. Laugh with them. For this is one of the key things that bind your family together. And your children will remember the happy days they spend with you.

3. Give Love Without Strings (Give Unconditional Love)

You cannot make your child someone he cannot be. Every child is unique. Therefore, learn to identify the uniqueness and qualities within each of your children. Learn to live with his weaknesses and his strengths. Some weaknesses you can help change, but not all.

4. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries i.e. imposing discipline is important. Your child will always test the boundaries you set, but you must be calm and firm on this. Coz from setting boundaries you demonstrate your values to your children, values which you wish to bring up in them. Values like punctuality, honesty, keeping your word, etc. Your children will always test the boundaries to see if they can breach them, stay firm - as nothing will make a child more insecure than when as parents we keep allowing the boundaries to be breached. A note on this would be that parents should choose the battles they fight. Let some go, but not the key ones. But always be consistent in what you communicate to your children in terms of your values.

5. Praise Your Children

Parents are always in the habit of catching their children doing something wrong, and emphasizing it. It is better to “Catch your children doing something right!” Let them overhear you praise them in front of other people. This will increase their self-esteem and self-confidence. A confident child will lean to your teachings better.

Why does this work? Children love to please their parents. When they sense they have pleased you, they will continue to do those things that will please.

6. Recognize The Uniqueness Of Each Child

Do not compare your child with siblings, or with others. Every child is unique. Recognize his qualities and focus on how to help your child use those qualities.

7. Set Yourself Free Of What Other People Think About You As A Parent

You should listen to other parents' advice on parenting experience, but parents must make their own decisions on what is best for their children, because each child is different. Therefore, do not be worried or concerned or sensitive about other people's comments on your parenting ways. Sometimes you will make mistakes, but mistakes do lead to enlightenment and clarity.

8. Take Time To Pass On To Your Children What You Believe In

Remember to take time to pass on to your children of what you believe in, your values.

Dr James Dobson says that today's teenagers face more pressure and have a more stressful life than yesterday's teenagers. He illustrated it in this way :

Yesterday's teenagers walk down a corridor, with the doors on left and right marked `Sex', `Drug', `Disco', 'Alcohol', 'Cigarettes', etc. But all the doors are closed. Sometimes someone would go beyond the door.

Today's teenagers walk down a corridor, with the same doors on left and right, but all the doors are open, and there are many within each door, jeering the teenager and making promises to compel the teenager to enter.

Tell your children that “THEY ARE SPECIAL, and they do NOT have to give in to society to be special”.

“Train up a child the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it”

Proverbs 22:6

9. Don't Give Up

We must persevere in the upbringing of our children.

10. Let Them Go

Sometimes we should let them go, to show them we trust in them. Sometimes, they will fall, but mistakes do help a child to grow.

---