The Secrets of Longbourn

By Kara

Chapter 1

Posted on Friday, 27 August 1999

Elizabeth Collins glanced over at her mother, who was listening intently to another one of Lady Catherine DeBourgh's lectures. How she could even tolerate them was a mystery to her. Her father agreed to whatever it was that Lady Catherine was saying. She fidgeted. It was so dull to sit for so long in one place, listening to Lady Catherine tell her mother what to do during the last month of her sixth pregnancy. Charlotte Lucas Collins had borne William Collins five children in the past fifteen years, all of whom had been girls. Beth as she was called, was the oldest of all six, she was soon to be fourteen. She and two of her sisters were the only attractive girls in the family. Lady Catherine was quite fond of her, and tried to dictate what she should do all of the time. Beth did not look like either of her parents at all. Her hair was raven black, shinny, and wavy. She had very light blue eyes, and a creamy complexion. She had a very nice figure, and was tall and slim. It was quite obvious that she was her mother's favorite, but Beth did not appreciate her attentions. She loved her mother of course, but Charlotte always seemed to hold back her feelings and never let them guide her.

Lady Catherine was now speaking softly to the child Charlotte was carrying.

"You must be a boy child. It is your duty to your family!" she said.

Beth shook her head. Lady Catherine had repeated these very words each time her mother was with child, and it was becoming a tradition. Beth in fact did not want a brother. Not only would the triumph of Lady Catherine's be to great to tolerate, but a girl would have been hard enough to take care of.

Her mother's good friend and Beth's namesake, came to visit them often: Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy. She often complained about the trouble her son gave her at home. She and Richard Darcy were about the same age, but Beth was a little older. Sometimes JaneAnne, Elizabeth's ten-year-old daughter would visit them. Mr. Darcy, (Elizabeth's husband), rarely came on account of his aunt, and therefor Elizabeth's visits were kept a secret so as not to displease Lady Catherine. Elizabeth would tell all about the scrapes he got into, and the messes he made. No, Beth did not want a little brother to take care of.

Beth usually helped take care of the new babies after they were older than a month. Her mother was not usually in good health, and so it was almost always Beth who helped clean them, and when they were old enough to eat solid foods she helped the nurse feed them. She knew that if her mother had better heath there would be no need for Beth's help, but her mother was always very tired and weak. She blamed her father for this as her mother was to fragile a person to have six children, but they needed an heir.

Her father was to inherit the Longborn Estate from a distant cousin, (Mrs. Darcy's father in fact)! Beth's father wished to produce an heir so that the estate would never be entailed away. Beth believed that this should be the last time that her mother would ever be with child. Each time Charlotte gave birth she became weaker, and Beth was beginning to worry about her health. She glanced back towards her family sitting in Lady Catherine's parlor and counted heads: Father, mother, sister, sister, sister, sister, and unborn child. Counting herself, that would all make eight family members. Her sister Catherine (also called Katie at home), was eleven and had brown hair, green eyes and freckles. Next came Sarah and Cara who were twins of the age ten. Sarah had black hair, and green eyes. Her twin looked the exact opposite of her with blonde hair, dark blue eyes and a rosier complexion than her twin. They were both the same height, and slim. They were the only other handsome children in the family. Then there was Victoria. She was only three and it was hard to tell what she would really look like when she got older. But for the present she had light brown hair and brown eyes. Both Katie and Victoria were rather plump. Out of all of her sisters Beth liked Sarah and Cara the best. Katie was selfish and self centered, and Victoria's favorite words were: 'Mine, mine!' Sarah was a very shy, helpful girl, and Cara was very open, and kind hearted. They both where very difficult at times, but nothing compared to Katie and Victoria.

It was then time for them to leave. They dismissed themselves and rode back to their home in Lady Catherine's carriage as usual. Katie pouted because Lady Catherine had not said one word to her that evening, having devoted all her time to Charlotte, and Victoria was crying because she wanted the toy that Lady Catherine had given to her mother for the baby. Sarah and Cara were whispering together. Beth envied them because they could slip off into their own world, and no one would interrupt them unless it was time for meals or bed.

"Beth dearest?"

"Yes mamma." Beth answered dully.

"Would you put the girls to bed tonight? I have a very bad headache."

"Yes mamma. Perhaps you should rest. I do think it very unkind of Lady Catherine to force you to visit her when you should be resting."

"Thank you for your concern Beth but I'll be alright." Her mother said reassuringly, but Beth began to worry about her as she slowly walked into the house leaning on her husband's arm.

Beth herded the girls inside. Katie did not want to go to bed, and Sarah and Cara whispered until one o'clock in the morning. She had not trouble with Victoria since bribery still worked on her. Victoria went to sleep after Beth had given her a lump of sugar to suck on. With the nurses help she got Carrie to lie down, but could not stop the twins from whispering until they were so sleepy that they couldn't stay awake any longer. Beth finally got everyone to sleep, and on the way to her own room she checked on her mother.

"Are you sure you're alright mamma?"

"I'm fine, I'm positive. My time has not yet come. Tell the maid to have the quest room ready for tomorrow. Mrs. Darcy is coming for the last month, and is bringing her two daughters.

"I will mamma. Have a good nights rest." Beth answered, assured of her mother safety at least for the night. She then left the room and went to bed.

The next morning, Mrs. Darcy and her two girls arrived early in the morning. They were settled in and Mrs. Darcy went upstairs to see Charlotte. The maid's bell was ringing. Beth was in the kitchen when she heard it. She saw where it was coming from and went up to her mother's room.

"Mamma the servants are having their day off. Is there anything you need?" Beth explained as soon as she opened the door. Her mother was laying on the bed, tossing and turning.

"What's the matter Mrs. Darcy?" Beth cried in alarm.

"The baby is ready to come into this world. I need someone to send for the doctor." Mrs. Darcy said quietly.

"But there is no one!" Beth cried, looking at her mother's bulging belly.

"Can not you go? Your mother is in very great pain. We need a doctor now." Mrs. Darcy ordered, and Beth ran from the room. She grabbed her shawl and bonnet and ran out of the house and onto the lane towards Kent. As she neared the town she began gasping for breath, and stumbled over a pebble. Picking herself up, she ran into the doctor's clinic and demanded that the doctor come immediately. He agreed and began to slowly gather his things, and put on his coat and hat.

"Can you not move any faster?" Beth cried, and the doctor gave her a sinister look. Beth shut her mouth and they got into his carriage. Upon reaching the house they rushed inside, and Beth showed him to her mother's room. Shutting the door behind him, he left Beth standing alone in the hallway. No sound issued from the room. Her mother never made any sound, and it often happened that her father never knew that he had another child until everything was over with. Beth did not enter the room, but sat by the door. Everyone else was at Lady Catherine's, ignorant of what was going on. The two Darcy girls were sleeping. Elizabeth suddenly emerged from the room.

"Is it over Mrs. Darcy?" Beth asked anxiously.

"No, it is not over. Your mother is having a very hard time. I came out to take some air." she answered, and then went back into the room. Beth's mind was filled with fear for her mother, for the child, and she also feared that her father would come home unexpectedly and send for Lady Catherine's assistance. A cry came from the bedroom, but it was not the wailing of a newborn. Beth heard another cry that sounded more like a gasp and she fled from the house, knowing that they were cries of pain.

Beth ran into Lady Catherine's apple orchard. It was a very quite place, and was not kept up as the other orchards were. It was rather over grown, and wild. Beth liked it very much. It was the only place in the world where she could also escape. Beth closed her eyes and remembered how she had found this place...

"Hello! What are you doing here?" a young woman of about twenty four said to Beth when she was only eight.

"I'm lost!" she had sobbed, and the woman put her hand around her shoulders.

"What is your name? Perhaps I can help you!" the woman asked gently.

"Beth. Beth Collins."

"You must be Mr. Collins' daughter then! I know where you live, for my mother hired your father a long time ago. My name is Anne DeBourgh."

"You're Lady Catherine's daughter." Beth said coldly.

"Yes." Anne replied mournfully. "I am soon to be wed to the Earl of Matlock, George Fitzwilliam."

"Are you going to be happy?"

"Yes, I am going to be very happy." Anne said with a friendly sparkle in her eye.

"You're not being forced to marry?"

"No. Mother did not even want me to marry him. She wanted someone with even more money, like a Duke, but when I did not argue with her and became terribly ill, she consented to the match."

"I wish you every happiness. And you are saying good bye to your mother's grounds?" Beth asked.

"Yes! This place in particular. I think that there is something magical about it. It was here that I meet George Fitzwilliam." Anne explained in a dreamy way.

"Your finance?" Beth asked, and Anne nodded absent mindedly.

"I'm going to miss it. Mother does not take care of it, for she does not like apples. I've been tending it myself. I do wonder what will become of it after I'm gone."

"I'll tend to it!" Beth had offered, for indeed, there was something special about that place. It was so peaceful and beautiful and quiet that Beth could not let it be run down.

Beth remembered Anne DeBourgh's grateful hug, and how in the years to come, Beth would come here when she was having a hard time living in the world. She sometimes prayed, sometimes relaxed. It was a wonderfully special place. Beth then closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Beth slept through the day and night. Early the next morning, a servant came running for her.

"Miss Beth! Miss Beth!" she called, and Beth awoke. "Your mother's given birth to twins! A boy and girl!" the maid cried as she reached her. "But the missus is not doing well I'm afraid miss."

Beth rushed past the servant and ran back to the house. She rushed up to her mother's room, but Elizabeth blocked the way in.

"Please let me go in to see my mother!" Beth pleaded.

"Beth, your mother is doing very badly. You may see her if she gets better."

"If?" Beth cried in desperation and Elizabeth sighed.

"You may go see the babies." she said, and Beth reluctantly left her mother's door and went into the nursery.

The two babies were lying in their cradle, sleeping at the moment. Elizabeth left her alone with them. Beth watched them sleeping peacefully. The boy had a blue ribbon tied around his wrist. The girl had a red and pink one. That meant she was the first born. Beth looked back at the boy. He was beautiful. After fifteen years, finally there was an heir to follow after her father. Now all he had to wait for was Mr. Bennet's death. She shuddered at the thought of going into someone else's home and taking over. Mrs. Bennet, after all, was still living. Beth turned her attention back to the babies and stayed with them for an hour.

As soon as they began crying the nurse came in to feed them. Elizabeth came in with her and beckoned to Beth to follow her out of the room.

"How is mamma?" Beth asked quietly.

"She is not in any pain anymore." Elizabeth answered, looking deeply into Beth's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Beth asked, but she knew. Dead, dead, dead....

"You may go in and see her if you wish. We have cleaned everything up." Elizabeth said, avoiding her eyes this time.

Dead, dead, dead... Beth could not get those words out of her mind as she walked into the room. Her mother was on the bed. Her face was as white as chalk, her eyes closed as if in sleep. 'She is only sleeping. That is what she meant.' Beth thought, but did not believe it. Dead. Beth shook her head and walked over to the bed and grasped her mother's hand. She knew then. Dead. Her mother was dead. Her hands were as cold as ice, no blood flowing through them, and she saw no movement in her chest indicating that she was not breathing. A sob choked her throat, and she tried to hold it back. Suddenly, on the desk beside her mother's bed she saw a note. It was addressed to 'Beth my daughter', and she opened it with shaky hand. It was written in a very shaky handwriting, but Beth could tell it was her mother's.

Dearest Beth,

I'm sorry to have to leave you like this. Do not hate anyone for it, do not despair, for I will always be with you in spirit, and we will someday meet again. As I have no will, I leave you all of my personal things to do with as you like. The twins are now your responsibility. Do not let them grow to be like your father or Lady Catherine. I love you very much.

Your loving mother

Beth could not stop her tears. Sitting beside the bed, she then placed her head on Charlotte's lifeless hand and wept.

Beth did not leave her mother's side until the funeral the next day. She did not weep anymore since the day before. Lady Catherine would rebuke her, her father only annoy her. He was weeping constantly. Beth wondered how long he could pretend to be remorseful.

Elizabeth and her daughters only stayed a few more days, and then they left. Lady Catherine visited the parsonage constantly, and ordered her father around telling him what to do in the household. Beth had taken all of her mother's precious belongings and put them in a trunk. The rest of her things she gave to her father to do with as he liked. Her father told her that she should take order as mistress of the household since her mother was dead, and so she did most willingly. Lady Catherine would not be allowed to tell her how to run the house.

Beth then saw the youngest twins. She looked at them with almost hatred, trying hard to be forgiving, but not succeeding. These babies were responsible for her mother's death. Her mother's words came back to her: Do not hate anyone for it, do not despair... She then closed her eyes and pushed away all of the hateful feeling. The babies were only trying to live, they did not mean to kill her, and they missed her too. Beth picked up both boy and girl and sat down. They had not yet been named, but Beth remembered the names that her mother had picked out if it was a boy or girl. Matthew and Marie. The perfect names for twins. Had her mother known? Beth mused, but suddenly looked up as Lady Catherine walked into the room, demanding to hold William and Anne.

"Who is William and Anne?" Beth asked, puzzled as she laid the twins back in their cradle.

"The babies of course!" Lady Catherine cried in agitation.

"Their names are not William and Anne. It's Matthew and Marie." Beth explained.

"Where did you ever get names like that?" Lady Catherine laughed.

"My mother had their names planned out. Ask my father if you wish." Lady Catherine paused at this, and then demanded again to see the babies.

"No madam, they are sleeping now. I do not wish to disturb them. Come back in a week and we will see." Beth said quietly.

"I want to hold them now miss."

"No, you may not. As present mistress of this house I tell you that you may not hold the babies. Now will you kindly leave the room!" Beth cried and called for the nurse as the babies began to cry. Lady Catherine left the room at the sound of their cries, and Beth sat back down in the chair tired but triumphant.

Chapter 2

Posted on Friday, 27 August 1999

Two years later...

Beth closed her eyes and prayed that the letter that was sent from Longbourn was not bad news. She thanking the servant, she took it to her father.

"What is it my dear?" he asked as she entered his study door.

"A message from Longbourn sir. I'm afraid it might be bad news, because Mr. Bennet never writes us unless he was sent a letter," Beth answered and handed her father the letter. He opened it, and read the contents. 'Oh my poor cousins!" he kept on muttering to himself and then folded up the letter. Beth had remained by the door, watching her father intently until he was finished. He looked at her and said:

"Bad news my daughter. Mr. Bennet has died."

"Died?" Beth gasped.

"Yes, and we must go to the funeral, and then move into the Longbourn estate."

"Do you mean to say that Mr. Bennet is dead, and that we must claim our inheritance now?" Beth exclaimed, but did not really need to ask. Her father began to tell her everything about the situation that she already knew. When Mr. Bennet died they would get the Longbourn estate. That was all there was to it, and Beth knew that.

The trip to Longbourn was not an extremely long one. Lady Catherine had given them strict instructions on how to treat Mrs. Bennet and her one remaining unmarried daughter.

"Do not let them trespass on your hospitality for long. They have families to go to, and must leave the house as soon as possible." she said. Beth thought she was cold-hearted.

The trip to Longbourn seemed like a very long one. Beth tried to remember everything that she could about Mr. Bennet. He had been there at her mother's funeral. He had visited them a couple of times, and they had traveled once a year to Lucas Lodge to see her mother's relatives. There was never a time they visited when they had not seen the Bennets. Mr. Bennet was always so witty and clever. He always knew what to talk to her father about and was so good-natured. Beth thought he had been an excellent man. The kind of man that should have been a good role model for Matty, but now he was gone. Yes, Beth's heart was very heavy as the carriage pulled up to Longbourn.

The sound of wailing greeted her ears as Beth stepped out of the carriage and walked towards the house. Mary Bennet greeted them. She was not a very pretty girl, thin and pale with dark circles under her eyes. She looked very tired, and the wailing sound grew louder as Beth stepped into the house after her father.

"Please excuse my mother's crying, she is very devastated at my father's death." Mary apologized.

"Most naturally, and may I express my great sorrow upon receiving the news..." her father began, but Beth turned her attention away from him, as did Mary and they began to climb the steps and were shown their rooms.

Mr. Bennet's funeral was a very sad affair. All of his daughters and their husbands and children were there, weeping and mourning. Beth shed her share of tears, and Mrs. Bennet was weeping uncontrollably. After the funeral was over, Mrs. Bennet and her daughter left Longbourn with Jane Bingley to live with them for the time being. The Longbourn Estate was left to the Collins.

Beth saw so much to do at the old house. Her father wished to have Mrs. Bennet's old room as his own, as it had the finest view, and the most space. Beth gave Mary's old room to Katie, and Sarah and Cara received the room that had belonged to the eldest sister. The babies were put in the nursery, but it had obviously been re-done and made into a room for older girls. Beth took the last room available. Mr. Collins claimed the library, and Beth decided that Mr. Bennet's room would be used for guests at the present time. When Matty grew older he would be moved there.

They cleaned the house from top to bottom during the first week of their stay. Beth directed all of the process, and made sure that even the books were clean of dust. She did not really care if the place was already pretty clean when they entered it, but she still wanted to do something in it that would show that they had lived there too. All of her mother's favorite pictures from the parish were hung around the house in vacant spaces. She put flowers in all of the vases and placed them on the piano and various places such as on dressers and windowsills. Beth had very strongly argued with her father about changing the place, or additions to the house, for she wanted to preserve it. In the end she won her case, and Longbourn would remain as it had been when first constructed.

After the cleaning and organizing was over, Beth's first move was to acquaint herself with the servants. Hill was the head maid, and had been working at the house for over twenty years. Sara was the scullery maid, and had been working there for sixteen years. Then there was Mr. Smith, the coachman and his son who took care of the stables. They both had been working at Longbourn for over fifteen years. Mr. Collins decided that it would be best to keep on the old staff, as they knew their business, and only hire a gardener and a new cook. The old cook had quit the house when Mrs. Bennet and her daughter had left, and so they were in need of a new one.

Lady Catherine arrived at Longbourn two weeks after they had settled in, and Beth was surprised that she had not come earlier. The reason that she had not come earlier was because she had been taken ill, and was not able to leave the house for several days. She inspected the Collin's new house, and could not find fault with it, although she complained about the sitting room as the windows were 'full west' as she put it, and the house itself was rather small. She then went to see the twins in their room and left Beth in peace for a few minutes. Lady Catherine was very fond of 'Little William', as she called Matty. She could never let it pass that Matthew should have been called William, and even though Mr. Collins refused to call him William, and gave him the name Matthew in honor of his late wife, and his daughter the name Marie, Lady Catherine never did change her ways. After a year she consented to call the little girl Marie, but Matthew was William.

Lady Catherine played with Matty for the rest of her stay, for she only came for the day. She bounced him on her knee and did not allow the nurse to touch him. Beth was becoming very annoyed with her by the time she left.

That night, as Beth lay in bed, she decided to explore her room. She was a very private person, due to Katie always wanting to take things that belonged to other people. Beth usually stashed her most precious belongings, like a lock of her mother's hair, and a very beautiful bible that Elizabeth Darcy had once given her, in hiding places. So she decided to search for a good hiding place for her precious things. She looked in the closet and wardrobe, finding no secret hiding place, and was about to give up on finding any suitable place when she glanced at the bed. It was a very nice one, with large bedposts, and a nice space underneath. It was so big that Beth could squeeze under there if she wanted to. Katie would never go under there, it would soil her clothes, and so Beth decided get a small box and put her things under the bed the next day. She then got back in bed, and went to sleep.

Chapter 2B

Posted on Monday, 30 August 1999

Beth went through all of her trunks the next day. She found a few of the special things that she wanted hidden from Katie and put them in her dresser for the present. She could not find a box anywhere, so she decided to ask her father to buy her one when he next went to Meryton.

Everything was going a little slowly at Longbourn that morning and Beth was getting rather bored. Katie had gone out into the garden to make herself a nosegay and had not come back. Sarah and Cara had both walked over to their Grandparents home at Lucas Lodge, and Victoria was outside with Katie. The little twins were in the nursery with Sarah, who turned out to be excellent with children, and had not asked for Beth in two hours. Beth decided to go and sit in the library and read.

Beth entered the library quietly and was happy to see that her father was in his study. She sat down in a comfortable chair, and picked up a book, which was laying on the small table next to it. It was a Baronetage. As these sorts of books always interested Beth, she took it up and turned to the first page. It was the history of the families who had lived at Longbourn.

'How interesting,' Beth thought as she turned the pages and read of all the owners of Longbourn. The Bennets had owned the estate from the very beginning, and always had many children. At one point in the line of Bennets she came to the name of an eldest daughter which looked as if it had been scratched out. The name was hardly legible but she could just make out:Rose Ben__ The rest was all blotted out completely.

'I wonder who that was?' Beth wondered, and skimmed down the line a little until she came to Thomas Bennet, the late owner of Longbourn. Why, the strange woman who was blotted out was his aunt, Beth realized, but then pushed it out of mind. It wasn't that important. She came to her father's name, and mother's, and the rest of her family's. That must be why the Baronetage was off the shelf; her father had been writing in their names. Beth started. Instead of the name Collins written down in the book, her father had changed their name to Bennet. 'I suppose he did it to keep the name 'Bennet' in the family.' she thought

She set the book aside and stood up. Since no one had called her, she decided to read some more and turned her attention to the bookshelves. There was a good collection of books there, and Beth would have to search for over fifteen minutes before she could decide on a book to read. She loved the smell of old leather, and so she went over to a shelf of books that looked as if they had not been read in a very long time. They were all famous books, such as Plato, and very many of Shakespeare's' works. Suddenly, a book at the end of the shelf caught her eye. It was so old and well worn that the title of the book could not be made out, and Beth was immediately filled with a curiosity to see what it was. She took the book off of the shelf and studied the cover. It was the play 'Romeo and Juliet', and had a very pretty picture on the frontispiece. A piece of pale lavender ribbon stuck out of the middle of the book, and it caught Beth's eye. She opened the book to act three where the ribbon was placed. The book's pages were yellow and crumbling at the edges. The lavender ribbon was a long piece, and attached to it was a small silver key! Beth picked it up and looked at it in wonder.

For such a pretty thing to be left in the book for so long! Whose was it? Beth quickly placed the key back where it had been and turned to the beginning of the book. On the inside front cover of the book, Beth found the name of Rose Julia Bennet written in a fancy script. Beth remembered the name scratched out in the Baronetage, also the name Rose, and no other family had ever lived at Longbourn except for the Bennets until they, (the Collins) had moved in. She decided that she wanted to know more of this Rose Bennet, fan of 'Romeo and Juliet'.

Chapter 3A

Posted on Wednesday, 1 September 1999

"Miss Collins!" the nurse called. "Miss Collins!"

Beth sighed. She closed the book reluctantly and put it back on the shelf. She then went upstairs to see what the nurse wanted.

That evening at dinner, Beth asked her father about their connection to the Bennet family. He replied that his father had been Mr. Bennet's father's cousin, and Beth turned back to eating her dinner. Then her father announced that they were no longer going to retain the name Collins, but that they would now have the surname of Bennet. This had been arranged many years ago, so that the name Bennet would not disappear. Beth was not surprised, and her sisters thought it was a good idea.

That night, Beth decided to search under her bed for the best spot to hide her box of things. She lit a candle and slid under the bed with it. It was very dusty but she did not mind. She decided on a corner, and was about to slid from under the bed when something caught her eye. What it was she did not know, however it looked like a piece of paper stuck in another corner. She crawled over to the spot and reached out her hand to pull it from the slat. Instead of one piece of paper falling out, a small wooden box crashed to the floor. She slid out from the bed and pulled the box with her. It was old and dusty, but as she tried to open it she noticed a small keyhole. Beth realized that she needed to a key to see what was inside, unless she wanted to break the lock. She saw that the hole was small, designed for a small key, and suddenly she knew where to find it. Putting on her robe, she crept downstairs to the library. Seeing no light beneath the door, she opened it and went in.

Beth walked over to the shelf where the book 'Romeo and Juliet' had been placed and took it down from the shelf. She then quickly dashed back upstairs to her own room, and opening the book to take out the key. She held it up in the candlelight and then tried it on the lock. It fit, and she opened the lid with ease. A faint scent of perfume, (it smelled like lavender), was in the box. A book was on top and she lifted it up. Underneath it was a bundle of letters tied in a lavender colored ribbon! Another book was underneath this, but it was much thinner than the first, and on the bottom was a beautiful silk handkerchief of light purple.

This person like lavender and purple, I think, Beth thought, and smiled to herself. She then opened the first book, and read the first few lines (which were written in a fancy and flowing script):

Diary of Rose Julia Bennet
Begun in 1765

Beth gasped. The woman she had wanted to learn more about! She then closed the book and turned to the second. In it was written:

Elizabeth Bennet's Journal, 1766

Beth was now confused. The Elizabeth Bennet she knew had not been born for another twenty-five years or so. Who could this be? She closed this book and turned her attention to the letters. They were all written during 1765-66, and were all opened. Beth, however, did not read them. She had decided to read Rose's diary first, and then she would turn her attention to the letters, which were all addressed to Miss Rose Bennet.

Beth suddenly began to yawn and set down the journal. It was late, and she wanted to read it when she was wide-awake. She placed everything back as it was and put the box back in its hiding place. She then lay down in bed and went to sleep.

The next morning she woke up very early, got the box out, and began to read the diary of Rose Bennet...

March 2, 1765

It is my eighteenth birthday today, and Elizabeth has given me this booklet of blank pages in which to write the story of my life in. I always wonder why Elizabeth knows exactly what to give me. I think she understands me perfectly, although I cannot make her out very well at all. Elizabeth, my sister, is almost seventeen and is a very pretty girl. She looks very much like mother, with light brown hair and blue eyes. I look like father, with dark brown hair and green eyes. My brother, Thomas, looks like father as well. Nothing remarkable has ever happened to me in my life. I have never fallen in love, nor even admired a person yet, and think that I am destined to live a life alone. Although I am the eldest daughter in the family, I have hardly traveled anywhere except for London. I should very much like to see Bath, for Thomas tells me it is glorious.

Father has given me a very pretty book today. It is the play Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. I have been wanting to read it for many years, and will finally have a chance to do so. Mother has given me a new lace fan, and Emily gave me another nosegay. I declare! This must be the fiftieth she has given me, and I am getting tired of them. Of course, she is only nine years old, and has not learned any other craft as yet. Oh dear, I must conclude. May has upset her tea.
Rose Bennet

Beth lifted her eyes up from the book and wondered why this woman's name had been scratched away from the Baronetage. She saw no reason for it. She began to read the diary again...

Rose carefully placed her diary in the trunk and closed the lid. Her father had arranged for them to take a trip to Bath and she was so excited that her hands trembled as she fastened the lock. Rose had always wanted to go to Bath, and would now have her chance.

"Rose! Father says that the carriage is prepared. Are you ready?" Elizabeth called as she came into her room.

"I'm ready Elizabeth," Rose said, calming herself. Elizabeth turned to leave the room, and Rose watched her go down the stairs. Elizabeth was so confidant and easy, and so different from herself. She always was comfortable in any society, and always knew what to say and when to say it. Father admired her greatly and was very fond of her. Rose on the other hand was always offending. She saw faults in every person she met and was too rebellious in her family's opinion. It was not that Rose was not wanted in society, it was just that she did not approve of the world nor did she feel easy in it. She did not suffer from jealousy of her sister Elizabeth, who was continually being praised because of her fashionable blue eyes and light colored hair, nor did Elizabeth become arrogant or conceited. All of these things whirled through Rose's mind as she called for the servant to take down her trunks, gathered together what she would put in her hand bag, and went downstairs.

Beth again lifted her eyes from the diary, but this time because of her clock chiming. It was already nine o'clock and she was not even dressed! She hastily got dressed and hurried downstairs for breakfast.

Chapter 3B

Posted on Monday, 6 September 1999

"Where have you been Elizabeth?" Mr. Collins asked sternly when she appeared at the breakfast table.

"I was reading one of the library books in my room sir." Beth answered meekly and they all continued eating.

Beth's mind wandered as she ate. She kept on thinking of Rose Bennet and her journal. She hoped that her day would not be too busy so that she could get back to reading the diary. Rose was such an interesting person. The day however did not pass uneventfully for Beth. They all took a walk to Meryton and Beth was able to buy the box she had wanted for her things. Later on in the day Matty skinned his knee and Beth had to settle him down. The only time Beth found that day to read more of Rose's diary was late that night...

March 4 1765

We have reached Bath at last! I find it very cozy, although the only view I've had of it so far has been from our windows. It is pouring rain. Miss Carter, my very good friend, tells me that it always rains in Bath. Well, rain or not, I am determined to see Bath from outside our apartments, and will venture outside after luncheon. Elizabeth declares that she hates a city where it always rains. I say she is being silly and is only complaining because she did not really want to come to Bath in the first place. She likes Meryton and Longbourn a little too much in my opinion, and needs to be seen in society a little more. Oh dear! I must stop writing for now, May is getting into trouble again.
Rose Bennet

Beth yawned and stretched her arms. She wanted to go to sleep, but the diary was too tempting, so she lay against her pillows and picked up the book again.

March 5 1765

Oh, Bath is such a beautiful city! I have never in my life seen a more interesting place. Of course I love the city and concerts, balls and assemblies. Elizabeth, poor dear, prefers the country, and likes small balls and beautiful walks in the nature. It is strange that our opinions are so very different. Emily declares that she wishes us to sell Longbourn and buy a house in Bath. Little May says that she never wants to leave. I do not see why they have taken such a fancy to Bath, having seen nothing of it. On our walk, Elizabeth and I stopped at a quaint little teashop. It was such a cosy little place and the owner was so very nice. I do believe he was quite taken with Elizabeth. Everyone is taken with Elizabeth.

Tomorrow I plan to go visit the Pump Room. It is supposed to be splendid, but I need to see it with my own eyes to believe people's reports.

My father plans to give a small party next week. We have quite a few acquaintances here and he wishes to reunite with all of them. Why is it that I always have to stop writing because of something May has done? Have I told you about May? She is only five and gets into the most horrid scrapes for a little girl. Mother is at the end of her rope, and since father will not take the strap to her, I plan to the next time she does something seriously wrong. But I must conclude, for this time she has spilled her ink all over herself. Silly girl! I hope she knows that it will never wash off.
Rose Julia Bennet

Beth drifted off to sleep right after she finished reading this entry.

The next morning....

Beth woke up early the next morning. As she was walking down the stairs on her way to breakfast she met her father.

"Good morning my dear Elizabeth! I have good news for us!" he said, and began walking beside her.

"Is that so? What is so wonderful?" Beth asked, hoping that it was not an invitation to Rosings.

"Mrs. Bennet and her daughter are to come to visit us for a fortnight. I have also invited her brother and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner."

'Even worse!' Beth thought, and said, "Really father? When?"

"I believe they will come on Friday."

"But that is tomorrow, Father! Why did you not tell me of this before?" Beth cried.

"I only just received their letter. I am sorry if it will inconvenience you." Mr. Collins said hastily, and Beth shook her head.

They then entered the dining room where everyone else was assembled for breakfast. Beth ate in complete silence. 'Mrs. Bennet and her daughter, Mary! Agh.' She glanced at her father who was rambling about Mrs. Bennet and Mary coming to see them. Katie was delighted, and so was Victoria. Sarah and Cara gave each other knowing glances and sighed. Matty began to beat his fist on the table. It was all Beth could do to keep from laughing out loud, for it seemed as if he was not pleased with the news.

Beth took the twins out for a walk later on in the day. It was beautiful outside. Beth was surprised to see how the weather had changed from summer to autumn. The last time she had paid close attention to the nature was before Mr. Bennet's death, and then everything had been green and growing. Now the leaves were turning into their glowing colors; red, yellow, orange and gold. She took a deep breath. Beth loved the smell and atmosphere of autumn, it had to be her favorite time of year. She decided to teach the twins a game she had played as a very little girl. It was a naughty game, but fun. They made a few giant leaf piles and she told the twins to jump in them. They had a wonderful time, and in the end even Beth made a terrific jump and spoiled the leaf pile completely. Just as she was sitting up, Katie came running towards her.

"What on earth are you doing Elizabeth?" she cried, horrified at the sight of her sixteen-year-old sister sitting on the ground with leaves stuck in her hair and on her clothes.

"I was only playing with the twins." Beth answered, picking herself up.

"Bethy jumped in the leaves!" Matty announced. Beth began brushing herself off, and bent down trying to hide her blush.

"What a stupid thing to teach the twins Elizabeth. Mrs. Bennet and her daughter have just arrived and you are a mess!" Katie scolded in her most bossy tone.

"Today? But the weren't supposed to arrive until tomorrow!" Beth cried and straightened up.

"I thought they were coming today. Perhaps you did not hear Pappa correctly. Mrs. Bennet has come today, the Gardiners are coming tomorrow."

"I'm sure I did! But they -- "

"Do you want me to brush you off in the back?" Katie asked. Beth nodded, and Katie tried to knock off the remaining leaves. After a few seconds she announced that it was the best she could do and that Beth had best go and greet their guests. Beth hurried off in the direction of the house while Katie and the twins followed after her.

Beth heard the sound of a loud voice chattering about how nice the place looked. She glanced into the mirror in the hall before entering the parlor. Her hair was messed up, the curls in disarray, and she looked out of breath She entered the parlor, and Mrs. Bennet turned to look at her.

"Why Miss Collins! What have you been up to?" Mrs. Bennet cried.

"It is Miss Bennet now, ma'am. I was playing with the twins." Beth answered, but Mrs. Bennet had already turned her attention back to her father and was speaking to him about how kind he was to invite them to stay at his home, and how they would be able to come to the assemblies just as they used to while they were here.

Beth excused herself after a few minutes, going to her room to fix her hair and compose herself.

Chapter 4A

Posted on Tuesday, 7 September 1999

Beth's hair would not be fixed but she did put on a clean dress and washed her face. She had to take a few deep breaths before she went back downstairs to join Mrs. Bennet and her daughter. When she re-entered the room Mrs. Bennet was still chatting about nonsense. Mary was sitting in a chair by the window, reading intently. She did not even look up as Beth entered the room. Mrs. Bennet greeted her most warmly and then began chatting about the gossip she had heard while living with her daughter Jane. Beth sat silently in a corner of the room. Somehow the subject changed to balls and concerts, and Mrs. Bennet began speaking of how, at the last ball they had attended, Mary had played few songs.

"Everyone was delighted with her song!" Mrs. Bennet praised, and Mr. Bennet (formerly Collins), replied that he was sure her singing was heavenly. Beth remembered last Christmas when they had been staying at Lucas Lodge that Mary had sung for them at a party. She shuddered at the remembrance.

"Do you play and sing Miss Collins?" Mrs. Bennet asked suddenly. Beth smiled sweetly.

"Miss Bennet. And yes, I do play and sing."

"This is good news indeed! Will you perform for us?" Mrs. Bennet cried, excited at this piece of news. Beth suddenly became nervous and said that she did not wish to sing. Mrs. Bennet insisted and was joined by Beth's father. She was very nervous about performing anything in front of anyone, and so sat down at the piano was shaky fingers and sang the song in a whisper.

Mrs. Bennet did not praise her playing, but criticized it, saying she could not play without stumbling and had no voice at all. Beth sat back down in her seat with burning cheeks and hurt feelings.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Mrs. Bennet prattled on about this and that to her father. That night, as Beth settled in bed she closed her eyes and had to relax a few moments before she even remembered Rose's journal. When she did remember it however, she immediately sprang out of bed and crawled underneath to retrieve it. She brought it out and began reading again.

March 8, 1765

Here I am, sitting at my writing desk again writing to you. Things have been going exceptionally well. Bath is the most wonderful city on Earth. My poor sister, Elizabeth, still stubbornly refuses to admit that Bath is not as bad as she thought it would be. But she does enjoy quiet living better than city life.

Father's party is planned for Friday; that is the day after tomorrow. Many people have been invited, and all of a higher class. I do believe that part of the purpose of coming to Bath was to find good catches for all of us. My brother Thomas already has his eye on Miss Carter, I told you of her before, and father thinks it an excellent match for both of them. I think so as well. To have dear Margaret as a sister! It would be a dream come true! Elizabeth has not yet seen anyone she admires, and I am now certain that I am incapable of falling in love. Elizabeth will have no hard time. She is so caring. But then she will be hard to win, as I will not be. I will most likely accept the first man who asks me for my hand. My father may already have someone in mind with a rather nice fortune, a good home and pleasing manners. At this time in my life I should not be too choosy and marry a good-for-nothing, as I am the eldest daughter who is incapable of falling in love. Elizabeth may choose whom she pleases, but I am convinced that my chances for love are all gone by now, even though I am eighteen. Ah well, I always thought it would be so, having never admired anyone in my life. There, now I am prattling as if I regretted something, which I don't.

As I was saying, father's party is arranged for Friday and he has invited many people of higher class. I'm looking forward to it very much. There is also to be a concert on Monday evening, and then a ball sometime soon. I'm looking forward to these things, too. I must conclude now however. Elizabeth has suggested a walk to the Pump Room. I most graciously will oblige her and go see it, as I have not had time to as I would have hoped. I shall write more soon!
Rose Bennet

Beth pondered over Rose for a little while before blowing out the candle and going to sleep. Never having admired a person at eighteen! Beth was beginning to believe that she would have the same fate as Rose.

Chapter 4B

Posted on Saturday, 11 September 1999

The next morning Beth woke up very early so that she would have time to read some of Rose's diary before going down to breakfast.

Everything was perfect. Every guest had arrived for Mr. Bennet's evening party, and I was studying all of the people I had never met with interest. I enjoy studying people's characters, and since I had hardly any acquaintance in Bath, almost everyone was a new subject. Elizabeth waved to me from across the room, and I walked over towards her.

"What is it Elizabeth?" I asked.

"Rose! Do you see that gentleman there?" Elizabeth said to me and pointed to a tall man.

"Yes what about him?" I asked absent mindedly, and searched the room for Margret Carter.

"I just her him talking with father and Mr. Field. Did you know that he is Russian?" she asked, excited.

I looked at her strangely. "You are joking," I exclaimed.

"Indeed, I am not! Did he say anything to you? Did you not hear his accent? It is not strong, but he has a slight accent." Elizabeth replied.

"I must say I'm surprised. But no, he has not said anything to me; we have not been introduced." I said, and glanced back at the gentleman we were speaking of.

I then turned my attention back to Elizabeth as she said: "He is very handsome, do you not think so?" I looked at him. He was undoubtedly very handsome. He had dark brown hair and it looked as if he had blue eyes, but I could not tell.

"He is."

"I thought you would think so. I wonder what he is doing here in England. I heard that he is a sailor. I'm extremely interested in finding out more about him." Elizabeth told me, and I laughed. "Why are you laughing at my Rose?" she asked in a hurt way.

"I have never heard of you admitting that you liked someone!" I replied, and she blushed.

"I do confess that I'm extremely interested in him. I can not say that I like him yet, as we have only exchanged greetings, but I do ,indeed, feel attracted to him.

"Do you really?" I said and looked back at the gentleman. "What is his name?" She laughed.

"His name is Mr. Solodkov. I'm only laughing because I think it's funny that you hadn't heard. The whole room is talking of him!"

"Well I do not listen to other peoples' conversations. I only observe things."

"I should announce that we have the first female scientist in the room. Pray tell me, what is your insight on human behavior?" Elizabeth teased and then colored slightly.

"What is it dearest?" I asked, and looked in the direction of her gaze. The Russian she had been speaking of was looking right at them and seemed to be listening to what we were saying. "It's only Mr. Solodkov." I said.

"I know, but what I was saying was rather silly." Elizabeth whispered.

"You really are quite lost my dear! Go have a cool drink, it will sooth your spirits." she nodded and slipped out of the room for a few minutes.

I sat down in a chair and observed the people around me chatting. I never liked to join in these evening chats, never finding anything interesting enough to talk about. Fashions were all right for five minutes, and then I got extremely bored, and gossip was nonsense. I despised talk of war and buildings, that was what the men were talking of, and did not care much for cards. Besides that, I had never learned to play cards, and could not honestly tell anyone my opinion of it. My only occupation in the evenings when my father held parties was to watch people, and so I did it most readily.

I usually liked to sit in a corner by the window. Then if I grew tired of watching people in the room, I would look outside. This night however, the only seat I could find was in a dark corner of the room. I sat and watched. Time stretched on, and I began to grow tired of the gentlemen drinking their coffee, and the ladies elegantly primping. My father and a few others were sitting in arm chairs by the fire. Everyone else was playing cards. I scanned the room for the Russian. He was sitting next to my father, but also seemed to be observing the people around him. They were sitting rather close, and I tried to study his eyes. They were blue as I had supposed. Suddenly I caught his attention, and our eyes met for the fleet of a second. I have never seen more amazing eyes then his. I quickly looked away and put a hand to my cheek, which for some strange reason was hot and red from blushing. I glanced around the room again, nervously, and again looked at him. He was still looking at me. No one had ever looked at me the way he did, and I felt myself blushing again. I suddenly felt someone's presence behind me, and turned in my chair.

Elizabeth was standing behind me, looking at Solodkov. I quickly glanced back at him and realized that it hadn't been me he was looking at; it was Elizabeth. I suddenly felt angry. I didn't know why, but I felt angry with Elizabeth for being the one who attracted the man's attention. I suddenly felt that I wanted to escape the room, and did not know what the matter was with me. I saw a way to escape, even if it would not be for long.

A movement by one of the doors leading to the halls caught my attention. It was wide open, and I was able to May peeking into the room before she hid herself again. I rose from my seat quickly and moved to the door. I scolded May something fierce, and then marched her up to her room.

When I returned back to the room, I was much more calm, and wondered what had come over me. I looked around for my sister and saw her talking to the Russian. I walked over to them and was introduced to Mr. Alexander Solodkov.

Beth laid aside the book and jumped out of bed. She had been reading longer than she had intended, and it was getting late. She dressed quickly and hurried downstairs to breakfast.

Beth hurried into the breakfast room and bumped right into her father, who was holding Mary's hand. Beth started, and her father let go, and they sat own at the table. Beth sat down in silence, and did not say anything through the whole meal.

After they were finished, she got up and headed to the nursery. She kept on thinking of her father holding Mary's hand...did it mean something? Should Beth begin preparing for a new mother? 'It could not be possible!' Beth thought, 'Or could it?'

Chapter 5A

Posted on Tuesday, 14 September 1999

"Elizabeth dearest?" Mr. Bennet called, as he entered the nursery where Beth was playing with the twins.

"Yes Pappa, what is it?"

"I'm going to walk to Meryton today and I've invited Miss Mary to accompany me. I hope you do not mind." Mr. Bennet said.

"Oh..." Beth began, not knowing what to say, for she did mind very much. Being left with Mrs. Bennet all afternoon! "I, um, can't we all walk with you pappa? Everyone in this house could use a nice walk."

"Of course Elizabeth! Go get the girls ready, and meet us downstairs in fifteen minutes." Mr. Bennet said, and Beth nodded. When he left the room she sighed in relief! She wouldn't have to handle Mrs. Bennet alone and could keep an eye on her father.

They were soon walking towards Meryton. It was a very fine day for autumn; not too hot, but not too chilly. The twins were toddling along the road and Mary was stumbling about. Mr. Bennet suddenly offered her his arm, and Mary took hold of it with a smile. Beth stared. Her father was getting serious! He never offered anyone help on a bumpy road before! Never; hardly even for her mother. What was going on?

Beth glanced back at her father and Mary. They were chatting happily, oblivious to the people around them. 'I was right,' Beth thought, 'I do have to prepare myself for a new mother.'

That night...

Beth opened up Rose's diary again and began reading...

March 12, 1765

Today is Sunday. Tomorrow we go to the concert in the assembly rooms. I think the music will be vocal and accompanied by piano and perhaps the harp. I truly enjoy listening to music, especially singing. I am very musical and, though I say it myself, really play the piano well, and sing, too. I also learned how to play the harp and can draw rather well. No one shows interest in my paintings, as most of the people we know in society are rather proud. They do not like giving my drawings much credit, most likely because I am not considered of the highest class. Perhaps it is that they have no taste. Father is indeed very proud, and rather conceited. He is a very good father, but those are his faults. Like most proud men hoping to become very great and important, he invites important, mostly proud people to our little parties. I do not mind this usually, as it gives me an opportunity to study their behavior; but sometimes I find myself wishing there was someone I could talk to, who would really be interested in what I was saying (besides my family of course). I admit that I am proud, very proud but, I think I am proud in a different way than my father. I do not know how to explain it though, but must say that this pride and rebelliousness does not fit with most society, and I often find myself alone in a corner, quite forsaken, with only Elizabeth to come and visit me at times. I believe I've written about this before, but I never seem to tire of explaining my seclusion from society. It is not always like this, but it seems to happen a most of the time. At balls, no one forgets me; and at some parties I enjoy myself. I suppose I complain, and that will not do. I will stop complaining and supply you with more news.

Tomorrow is the concert, and then there is the ball on Wednesday. I am very excited, for I love to dance and am hardly without a partner because people know I dance well.

We are having guests over today, a Mr. Field and his friends. They are rather important people in town; not extremely rich, but have very good connections. I must get ready for their arrival now and change my dress.
Rose Bennet

Beth continued reading...

I pulled a curl into place and then surveyed myself in the large mirror. My pink dress was perfect, and my hair was in order (which was unusual for me). I then picked up my fan and hurried downstairs when I heard footsteps in the hall and the sound of voices. Our guests had arrived and I needed to be present when they came into the parlor. I came downstairs and met our guests as they were coming from the hall. I greeted them one by one as they entered the parlor.

"Good evening Mr. Field, Mrs. Field - " and - I faltered for a seconds when my eyes met with Alexander Solodkov's amazing blue ones. It caught me by surprise, but I managed after a few seconds of silence to say: "Hello Mr. Solodkov," and then recover my nerves. He threw me a smile as he sat down and I turned away from him to greet the Fields older children, but I felt myself blushing again. I hoped that no one noticed, and would think that the redness in my cheek was only because of the pink dress I was wearing.

I glanced over at Elizabeth as she began talking to someone and saw that it was Solodkov. She was radiant at having been addressed by him, and I felt myself feeling angry again; angry that those eyes were gazing in admiration at her instead of me.

Chapter 5B

Posted on Monday, 20 September 1999

"I have some very important news for you all this evening," Mr. Bennet began at the dinner table two days after the walk to Meryton. Beth clenched her teeth and steeled herself for the news. "I have decided to wed Miss Mary Bennet," he said and smiled at Mary, who was sitting next to him. She smiled back, and Beth noticed color in her cheek and a sparkle in her eye that had not been there when she had first come to visit.

'She really likes him!' Beth thought, amazed.

"I have already spoken with her on the matter, and everything is settled," Mr. Bennet said and Mrs. Bennet uttered a squeal of delight. Beth wanted to plug her ears and began to wish that the Gardiners, who had never been able to come on account of their daughter having a baby, were here.

"Have you decided on a date, children?" Mrs. Bennet cried.

"Yes. We will be married in two days under a special license." Mrs. Bennet was hushed at this.

'I suppose she's disappointed at not being able to arrange everything.' Beth thought with amusement.

Mrs. Bennet was soon reconciled however, as she was told that instead of leaving Longbourn, she was to stay and live with them - for as long as she wished. Beth almost jumped up from the table in protest. Mrs. Bennet stays with them - probably forever! Mrs. Bennet took up her squealing again and talked of all the fun they would have living together; she would help with the two eldest girls and everything! Beth clenched her teeth again. How would she survive?

"Dear Beth, we need to talk to you. Would you meet me in my study in an hour? I need to speak with Mary first," Mr. Bennet whispered to Beth as she slipped out of the room.

Beth almost ran up the stairs to escape the fussing of Mrs. Bennet about the wedding. She would read the diary during the hour she had before going to speak to her father.

March 14, 1765

I wasn't really surprised when Solodkov began calling on us frequently with his relation, Mr. Field. Solodkov is not a sailor, as we had supposed, but the admiral of one of Russia's great fleets. Even so, I can see that my father is not pleased with his visiting us often. Seamen are too low for us. Seeing them at parties and balls is one thing; having the man actually come to the house to call upon his daughter was another.

Elizabeth is extremely pleased with Mr. Solodkov. I believe she adores him. I myself have never had a decent conversation with him, ever. He speaks to Elizabeth, and to my parents. To everyone except to me. This annoys me, as I find myself interested in him as well, and do not like the way Elizabeth steals him every time I begin to say hello. She has been very annoying these days, always humming, and fixing her hair.

I, myself, have been feeling strange lately. A man has been calling at our house; Mr. York. I think he has a very strange last name, like a city, but he has the most wonderful manners! I enjoy talking to him, and think he has taken a fancy to me! He has been coming often lately. My father likes him very much and I am not surprised, as he has a very handsome fortune: 5 or 6 thousand a year! I think he is very handsome myself, and think him a very fine person.

Well, the ball is to be tomorrow. I'm very excited! I plan to wear a pretty dark green colored gown; it goes well with my complexion and my green eyes. I must conclude now, as guests have arrived. Farewell for now!
Rose Bennet

Chapter 6

Posted on Thursday, 23 September 1999

Beth knocked softly on her father's study door.

"Come in!" he called, and Beth slowly opened the door and walked into the room.

"Ah, Beth! It's you. I am very glad that you came just now, for my dearest Mary and I have just finished speaking together on the subject which I wish to discuss with you." Mr. Bennet said, with a glance at Mary, who was sitting in a chair next to him.

"Yes, what is it father?" Beth asked calmly.

"Please sit down first." Mr. Collins said, motioning to a chair next to him. Beth sat down and Mr. Bennet cleared his throat.

"I have been discussing with Mary about you." Beth raised one eyebrow, wondering concerns they would have about her. Her father continued, "We think that there will not be enough room in this small home with all of us, and Mrs. Bennet."

"I believe there will be room sir, if I ask one of the girls to stay with me in my room -- "

"I am not speaking of that my dear, exactly."

"Then, what is it father? Be so kind as to tell me the real situation." Beth said, becoming a little annoyed. Mr. Bennet cleared his throat again.

"We have been discussing your coming out." Beth was rather surprised. "You are of age, I believe, and Mary agrees with me. We both think that the society here is a little low - therefor we have decided to send you to a place where you may , uh - shine in public." Beth smiled sweetly at her father's speech, but was really uncomfortable.

"Where would you send me father?" she said, as nicely as she could. Mr. Bennet's throat was cleared again.

"I have just received a letter -- which I think will interest you greatly -- from Lady Catherine de Bourgh." Mr. Bennet said, and Beth frowned.

"You need not read me the letter Pappa. Just tell me its contents." Beth stammered quickly, before he had time to begin the letter, which was over three pages long.

"Of course, Lady Catherine suggests that you go to Rosings and live with her. She will, sort of, adopt you, and take you to London with her when she goes this winter and present you to society. As her daughter Anne was a sickly girl, she did not have any opportunity to give her balls and parties as she wants to do with you. I believe that this is a good idea, and think we should do it." Beth was stunned but managed to say,

"Go to live with Lady Catherine?" her father nodded. "B-but, I'd rather stay here," Beth stammered.

"Oh you will, until after the wedding. I've already sent a letter to Lady Catherine, excepting her generous offer, you will leave next week." Beth nodded her head slowly, rose from her chair, and headed for the door.

Tears blinded her eyes as she walked upstairs to her own room and shut and locked the door behind her. She threw herself on the bed and let the tears flow.

"I can not live with her! I can not!" she cried to herself.

Beth stopped crying after a few minutes and relaxed. She then began to try to re-shape her life with Lady Catherine as a part of it. She then went back downstairs and joined the rest of the family.

That night, Beth calmed herself by reading some of Rose's diary...

I never dreamed that Mr. Solodkov would ask me to dance the first two dances with him at the ball. I had to decline, as I was already engaged to dance with Mr. York, but he persisted until I promised him the two dances after that. I then watched him walk over to Elizabeth, and claim her for the first two dances. I tried to control the jealously that I always felt when Solodkov does something for Elizabeth that he never does for me. For example, conversing with her; calling on her. I certainly enjoy Mr. York's intentions, but have never felt anger when he conversed with other young women. I don't understand why I feel this way about Solodkov, and only Solodkov for that matter. It puzzles me.

The first two dances seemed to last forever. Mr. York did not seem to find anything interesting to talk about, and I was bored. Mr. Solodkov came up to me immediately afterwards and claimed his reserved dances. As we began dancing in silence and I glanced at Elizabeth, who was unengaged at the moment. She was watching us with hawk eyes, and did not seem pleased when I smiled. I do not know why, but I felt glad that she was the one jealous now.

"Do you like dancing Miss Bennet?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, I enjoy it very much indeed!" I said, snapping out of my reverie and wicked thoughts.

"So do I. It is very interesting," He said, as we joined hands again. I thought the way that he rolled his r's softly over his tongue was beautiful.

"Do you often dance at home?" I asked.

"At home?"

"In Russia."

"Ah, but Miss Bennet, my home in on a ship. I almost never spend time on land." he said.

"You're spending time on land now." I pointed out.

"Indeed. But I was very ill a few months ago, and came to Bath to visit my relatives during my leave, and also improve my health."

"So, the legendary rumors of the healing waters of Bath have reached Russia!" I said in a joking way and he smiled and then we parted for a second as we went down the row of dancers. When we met again he said,

"Yes, I have heard of them. Not actually in Russia, but on a few of my trips." I couldn't hello but smile at the way he said 'trips', (like treeps), not pronouncing the 'i' correctly.

"Your sister is unengaged at present. I would have thought that she would have many partners for the rest of the evening."

"She most likely refused all of the other gentleman who asked her." I said, and threw a piercing glance in Solodkov's direction. He turned his head away from me, and looked relived when we separated again.

We met and parted again, weaving around the ballroom. Then we met and bowed or curtsied. The dance was finished, and the second was starting. It was a very fast dance, with no time for talking. I felt a little disappointed that I could not talk with Solodkov during this dance, knowing that my sister would come up to us and talk to him as soon as we had left the dance floor. I do not think I have ever disliked Elizabeth as much as I did when she came up and took a hold of Solodkov's arm as soon as the dance was over.

Chapter 6B

Posted on Thursday, 30 September 1999

"You are rather quiet this evening Elizabeth dear. Is something wrong?" Mr. Bennet asked Beth, the evening before the wedding.

"Just thinking that your wedding is so soon - tomorrow morning!" Beth answered, staring at her food.

Her father smiled. "I cannot wait for the moment when dear Mary will become my wife!" he said, and Mary smiled at him.

'I'm sure she can't wait either, having been a spinster for so long.' Beth thought, wondering if her father was the first person to ever propose to Mary.

The morning of the wedding arrived. It was a very small affair, with only a few family member's attending. None of Mary's sisters had been able to come to the wedding, on such short notice. The wedding passed well, and they all returned to Longbourn as usual, but, this time a new mistress came home with them.

"Oh to think! My daughter the Mistress of Longbourn!" Mrs. Bennet squealed when they stepped inside. "Now children-your father and new mother wish to be alone-Beth would you make sure they stay out of the way?"

"Yes Mrs. Bennet." Beth said, and led the other children to their room's, telling them to stay there and play, for the present-or at least until she told them they could come out. She then went to her own room, to read Rose's diary.

May 5, 1765

I have neglected you for quite a while. I don't suppose I have a real excuse for not writing for over a month! Life has been going by very slowly. I am miserable. Mr. Solodkov pays no attention to me, what so ever. He only talks to Elizabeth when we are in the same company, and sometimes to my parents. I think I may have offended him when we were talking during the dance.

Mr. York has called on me more then once, staying until late in the evening. My mother already tells me that if he asks for my hand, I am to except him. Since he calls in the evenings, I will not have time to write you so often. Perhaps once a week. Father and Mother have both become annoyed with Elizabeth lately-because of her visiting with Mr. Solodkov so often. I think that if she keeps on receiving his attentions, they are going to put a stop to their relationship. I for one do not think that Elizabeth is really in love with him. A childish love is what I would call it. I do not know about Solodkov, but it is clear that he thinks very highly of her. Oh dear I must run and fetch my bonnet-we are going on an outing. I will write as soon as I have time!
Rose Bennet

"Beth?" Matty called at he tapped on her door.

"Matty! What is it?" Beth called as he walked into the room. Matty had a sheet over his head. "Is something the matter?" Beth asked as Matty came up to her. He shook his head no, and then looked at the floor.

"Matty." Beth said in an accusing voice, and Matty took off the sheet covering his head. Beth gasped.

"Matty!" she cried, and he hung his head low. "What did you do to yourself?"

"I cut it." He replied mournfully, and Beth looked at his head. His hair was extremely short, and rather ragged in places.

"I can see that. What will father say? "Beth moaned. Matty handed her the scissors he had in his hand. "Where did you find these?"

"Nurse's." he replied.

"Oh. Well, I'll have to try to make it look nice, but your beautiful brown hair! Even if it wasn't very long...you are now practically bold!" Beth exclaimed, and sat Matty down in a chair and began fixing the damage the best way she could.

"There. Now go away and leave me alone, all right Matty? And don't ever cut your hair again!" Beth said, and Matty scurried out of the room. Beth sighed, and picked up Rose's diary again...

"Elizabeth! What is the matter?" I cried to her as she fled from Father's study. She did not answer and ran past me outside. I followed her, and caught her when she reached the gardens.

"What did father want to see you about?" I asked as we sat down on a bench, but I suspected that I already knew what. Elizabeth sniffed.

"It's not really important. He's forbidden me to ever encourage Mr. Solodkov in his attentions towards me." she said and another tear rolled down her cheek. I did not feel much like sympathizing.

"Were you really in love with him?" I asked, and she rose from her seat and looked away from me.

"Yes!" she cried, and then looked at me. I studied her face and she stopped crying. "Well, perhaps not. But I did really admire him, and could love him, only I am now forbidden to."

"Do you think you really would have been happy? I never saw any real signs of love. I do not think you really ever loved him. It was a fancy. You will get over it." I said and she looked at her feet for a moment, and then back at me.

"Do you really think so?"

"You're bearing it tolerably well. You've even stopped crying." I said, and she laughed nervously.

"I suppose I will live." she said, and then her expression darkened again and she ran from me, probably to her room to mourn over a love that was never to be.

I walked back in the direction of the house and consequently met Mr. Solodkov coming towards it also.

"Hello Miss Bennet." he said stiffly.

"Good afternoon Mr. Solodkov." He began to walk past me and I called, "You cannot see her." He turned and stared at me.

"See who?" he asked.

"Never mind, you will know soon enough." I said, and walked back into the garden. I stayed there until I saw him leaving, and then I went into the house.

Two days later...

Beth had packed everything, except for the box she had found under the bed.

'I cannot leave that!' she thought, as she crawled over under the bed. When she pulled the box from under the slat, she bumped her head hard on the bed.

"Owww!" she cried and looked at the board she had bumped her head on. She suddenly noticed something carved into the slat.
Elizabeth Mary Bennet, b. 1741

'The Elizabeth Rose writes about! This was her room!' Beth thought, and then noticed a second name scratched into the wood:
Elizabeth Rose Bennet, b. 1792

"Mrs. Darcy!" Beth exclaimed, and a sudden thought came into her mind. Before she left this house to go the Rosings, she would carve her name into the wood, alongside the other Elizabeth Bennets.

It was done. Elizabeth Amy Collins Bennet, b. 1813 was carved into the bed, and it was time for her to leave. She grabbed the box, and crawled out from under the bed.

"Beth, hurry up my dear, the carriage is waiting!" Her father called from downstairs.

"Coming!" Beth called back, her eyes filling with tears as she slipped the box into a bag and started down the stairs. She was leaving Longbourn to go to Rosings and would live with Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

Chapter 7A

Posted on Sunday, 3 October 1999

"Here you are at last!" Lady Catherine cried as Beth stepped out of the carriage. "I have been waiting for you for over an hour! How are you Elizabeth?"

"Very well, thank you ma'am." Beth answered, keeping her voice from cracking.

"Get inside now. James? Bring the trunks in and put them in Miss Bennet's room immediately. Come with me young lady." Lady Catherine said and Beth followed her inside.

"No one escorted you?"

"The servant." Beth answered dully and then was led to her room. It was enormous, grand and rather too fancy looking.

"This is my room?" Beth asked in awe. Even if it didn't suit her tastes, it was a pretty room-with plenty of space.

"Yes. Now change, and come down to the parlor, and we will talk. We have many things to discuss." Lady Catherine ordered, and then left Beth alone with her new maid to change.

The maid led Beth through a Rosings huge halls, and up or down stairways. Without the maid's help, Beth surely would have been lost! It was such an enormous, and grand house, and Beth realized that she had never really known how big it was. Finally, after what seemed like ages to Beth, they reached the parlor.

"Here you are, I was waiting for you. Leave us Lily." Lady Catherine said, and motioned to a chair next to her. Beth sat down and wished that the maid had not left her alone with Lady Catherine.

"You will need new gowns, Beth. You will be fitted up for them today." Beth only nodded in reply.

Lady Catherine began speaking to her about how to conduct herself now that she was part of a higher society. How to walk, and speak-they conversed on many different topics in the four hours that Beth was held captive in the parlor.

When she was finally released to have her dresses fitted, Beth had an extremely bad headache. The maid Lily again led her to another room. It was full of many different fabrics and ribbons and trimmings.

"I've never seen a room like it!" Beth exclaimed to Lily, "except in a shop, of course."

"Yes Miss. The Lady likes to have fabric ready at hand if she wishes to have a new dress. Every month we buy some new fabric. Her Ladyship has an enormous wardrobe." Lily said, and Beth smiled at her. A tall skinny woman then entered the room.

"My name is Mrs. Faller. I am the seamstress. What fabrics would you like for your new dresses?" she asked, and her long face broke into a very nice smile.

"But I thought Lady Catherine had already picked out fabric for my dresses." Beth stammered uncomfortably. The woman came over to her, and put her arm around Beth's shoulders.

"Well Miss...Lady Catherine never really remembers what fabric she wants for her dresses. I'll make you two dresses with the fabric she picked out, and the rest will be your choice. It will be our secret!" Mrs. Faller said and Lily giggled and left the room after promising not to tell. Beth was left with the seamstress to pick out her fabric.

Beth chose so many different colored fabrics for so many dresses! She had never had so many garments prepared for her in her life! She was then led by Lily to the dinning room, as it was time for supper, by now Beth was beginning to remember her way to a few rooms. She endured a tiresome dinner with Lady Catherine-alone, and then, Beth was ordered to demonstrate her musical skills. Beth played and sang for Lady Catherine - doing a horrible job, because she was nervous, and was scolded extremely hard, by Lady Catherine, for not doing well. Beth was now to play for an hour on the piano every morning before breakfast.

By the time all of these things had passed, it was very late, and Beth literally stumbled blindly up the stairs from weariness. She read none of Rose's diary that night, being too tired.

The next day went much the same. One of her dresses was finished, and she tried it on, and since it fit perfectly, was ordered to wear it. Lady Catherine gave her more lectures, and Beth played piano for more than an hour before breakfast-and also the afternoon and evening, in front of Lady Catherine. However, Beth was sent to her room earlier than the night before, and therefore had time to read before bed...

Mr. Solodkov was so depressed whenever I saw him, which was frequently, as he was always at the same parties we were invited to, that I began to feel sorry for him - even though I tried to tell myself that I had no pity on either him or Elizabeth - who was in a depression as well. That evening during the Carter's evening party - I found myself sitting next to him and starting a conversation - on a most personal topic.

"You have been very depressed these days Mr. Solodkov." I said in a teasingly, but was sobered by the sorrowful way he looked at me. But he said,

"Depressed? I do not know the meaning of this word." he said that, but I knew that he probably did.

"It means out of spirits, upset...sad." he did not answer.

"Does she really mean that much to you?" I whispered.

"Yes." was his almost inaudible answer. I looked away from him, trying to control my tumbling emotions-and trying to think of what to say next.

"If it helps any - Elizabeth cared for you as well." I said, but very quietly, so that no one but him would hear. He suddenly looked at me in a piercing gaze.

"Who?" now we were both speaking quietly.

"I said, Elizabeth also -" he cut me off sharply with,

"You thought I was in love with her?" I leaned back in my chair and looked at him in a completely puzzled way. He saw my confusion and attempted a laugh. "I never thought seriously of your sister. Did I give the impression that I did?" he whispered and I nodded. "Indeed? Did it never cross your mind Miss Bennet, that it was Elizabeth who was paying the attentions towards me. Did you never think that I was the sort of man to say, I never thought of you in my life, when she was obviously so very much attached to me? Perhaps it was an extremely foolish move, but I knew that in the end, your parents would put a stop to the fancy." he whispered and I felt like a fool. It had been rather obvious that she was the real one doing the chasing...but...

"Then the woman you loved in Russia must have been a superb one."

"In Russia?"

"But, you just answered yes to my question about caring so much about her. I thought you had meant Elizabeth, but it must have been a misunderstanding." I said.

"No, I was never in love before." he answered.

"But you came to our home so often. I did think that it was..." he gave out a hearty laugh at that and looked at me with an amused expression.

"Miss Bennet, it was not Elizabeth who I was coming to your house to see!" he exclaimed.

My head whirled and my heart did a somersault. Did he mean....? I suddenly needed some air, and did not care if he was speaking of me or of one of my younger sisters. I needed to get out of the crowded room, and so rose from my chair quickly and fled onto the balcony. I did not see, but I felt his eyes following me the whole way...

Why had I ever begun the ridiculous, too personal subject?

Beth took her eyes from the book and yawned. She wanted to continue, but was so tired that she decided to close her eyes for a second, and then continue. She closed them for a second...and was immediately asleep. Rose and all of her problems would have to wait...even if she had not finished the entry.

Chapter 7B

Posted on Sunday, 3 October 1999

"London! It is a very great city Elizabeth. We will be traveling to London soon." Lady Catherine said on November the 29th.

Beth tried to smile and then turned back to her needle work.

"Are you not excited my dear? You will be in London soon! And you are almost seventeen! Your coming out ball shall be extremely grand! I will invite many people, especially eligible young men."

"Must I really have a very large coming out ball?" Beth complained, and Lady Catherine stiffened.

"You must. I want you to shine in society. I want people to know you everywhere so that young men shall come and beg you to become their wife. And of course you must choose the most important one."

"Will you be inviting the Darcy's to my ball?" Beth asked eagerly.

She had not seen Elizabeth Darcy since her mother's funeral, and it would be a pleasure to speak to her again.

Lady Catherine did not answer, and Beth did not pursue the subject any further that evening.

I breathed the cool fresh air in deeply. May was such a beautiful month of the year. I thought it a shame that it was dark out, and I could not see any birds out. I remembered my conversation with Solodkov. He couldn't have been coming to our home to see me...was that why he had been so unhappy? Did he know that he would break Elizabeth's heart if he told her that he had never cared about her -- but about me?

"Miss Bennet?" I turned and found myself facing Mr. Solodkov. "Your brother is about to make an announcement, and I came out here in search for you." he said and I smiled. He offered me his arm, and I took it.

"It must have been my father you were coming to see." I whispered, thinking of nothing else to say as we began to walk back to the room.

"No, it was a certain woman with beautiful green eyes, for I much prefer green eyes to blue," he said, and I looked away from him, blushing.

We were both silenced as we walked into the room and my brother began his announcement...

Beth raised her eyes from the book and smiled.

'So he was in love with Rose all the time!' Beth said to herself, amused. ' A rather interesting way to tell each other, but oh well. At least he got around to saying: I came to see you.' she chuckled and then blew out her candle, and snuggled down in the blankets, drifting off into a pleasant sleep.

"Miss Bennet? The last of your dresses are ready, and Lady Catherine ordered me to tell you that she wishes you to wear one of the new evening dresses tonight." Lily said as she brought in the gowns.

"All right, Lily. Do you know when we are to be traveling to London?" Beth asked as the dress was being put on her.

"I believe on the thirty-first. My father will be driving the coach." Lily said timidly. Beth smiled at her and went downstairs to join Lady Catherine.

Chapter 8A

Posted on Wednesday, 6 October 1999

The ride to London was an extremely wet and bumpy one. Beth was very unhappy as she stared out of the carriage window and watched the rain pour down against it. Her first glimpse of London was not a very good one - and gave her a rather unpleasant feeling towards it. Dull, wet, gray, gloomy, and smoky. That was London's description on that rainy day, and Beth did not like the site.

"Isn't London a very splendid town! Why, look at the buildings!" Lady Catherine was saying, as she looked out of the window. Beth thought she was behaving madly. "What a pity that it is raining. If only it would stop!" Lady Catherine sighed and rested her voice until they came to her extremely large town house.

"Ah, here we are Elizabeth! It is a very splendid house -- I chose it myself. You will not find a more comfortable nor beautiful rooms in all of London!" she said, as she and Beth stepped out of the carriage and went into the house where the servants were waiting for them.

"It is a grand house!" Beth breathed, as she stepped in, looked around the grand hall, and ventured to peek into rooms where the doors were open.

"It is a grand house. Now follow Lily, Miss Elizabeth. She will show you to your room." Lady Catherine ordered, and Beth obediently followed Lily to her room.

"It's a lovely room Miss." Lily whispered, as she led Beth up the stairs and Beth smiled at her.

I think I've found a friend! Beth thought, and her smile grew wider as she looked at Lily.

"Here we are Miss." Lily said and opened the door to a beautiful room. Beth held her breath for a few moments as she looked around. The room was magnificent. Beth walked around, thinking that this room would be the most beautiful one she had ever lived in. Lily left the room, and Beth was left alone to relax for an hour before joining Lady Catherine.

May 30, 1765

Here I am, writing you again. I have two very important things to tell you. The most important, I suppose, is that Thomas is going to be married in two months ...to Miss Margaret Carter! My dearest friend! I am so glad that she is to be my sister! Thomas is so very happy. He clearly adores her, and she is wild over him as well. They will suit each other perfectly.

The second thing concerns me and my happiness. I have discovered that it has always been Alexander Solodkov that I have admired -- from the first time I saw him! I do not think it is love yet -- but then I do not know what it is to love a person truly. But, I certainly am extremely attracted to him. And now, I find out that he has been coming to our house to see me! He was coming to see me the whole time -- but Elizabeth never gave him a chance to come near me -- or even speak to me. Then when I spoke to him as we danced at that ball, he thought I did not like him because of our conversation. I had remarked on something about him and Elizabeth -- he thought I was wishing that he would marry Elizabeth! He is so sweet and told me that he loves green eyes. I'm the only woman in my family with green eyes! We did not have time to talk any more -- because of Thomas' announcement, but I hope to see him again soon. I want to talk to him -- to find out his character and about his life in Russia. I'm excited! This will be my first admirer! My heart flutters as I remember his eyes looking into mine -- no one ever looks at me like that. His eyes are not filled with desire -- nor even passionate love ... but something else ... perhaps something deeper. I will have to explore what he means when he watches me as he did last night.
Well, I must conclude for now. It is May again. She wishes me to go out on her walk with her. Good bye for now!
Rose Bennet

Beth laid aside the book and went downstairs.

"Here you a my girl! Now come over here! We will now start making preparations for your ball." Lady Catherine said, when Beth entered the room. Beth sighed and sat down next to her, preparing herself for a long talk.

Chapter 8B

Posted on Friday, 15 October 1999

"Now Elizabeth -- I have made out a list of all the people who will be invited to the ball." Lady Catherine said, a week after they had arrived. Beth's eyes widened as she saw the, over two-page, long list.

"Do that many people have to come Lady Catherine?" Beth gulped, and Lady Catherine looked at her sternly.

"Of course! You want to have many choices of whom you will marry." Beth looked at her feet.

"When will the ball take place?" Beth whispered.

"It will take me a while to get everything prepared correctly. I think in a month. That will give the invitations time to reach everyone and guest the time to prepare. Besides that -- the decorations, (if any), and the meals. There is much to do, but don't worry Elizabeth, I will fix everything perfectly." Lady Catherine said and smiled at her. Beth felt tired and asked to be excused to her room. She was let out and went to her room to read.

July 30, 1765

I'm extremely sorry that these days I have never had time to write to you. I have just returned from Thomas and Margaret's wedding. It was so beautiful! Margaret was radiant, and Thomas looked very happy. My parents are pleased with the match, as are everyone else.

I have been seeing Solodkov for a while now -- but it is done in a more quiet manner than my sister. We dance and talk, but he almost ever comes to our house in Bath, as my parents would be angry.

We are as yet, still in Bath, but will be leaving in a week's time. I do not want to go, as I will be away from Solodkov! But, he will be leaving in two weeks as well, and so it is not much difference. I wonder if we will go away and just forget about each other?

Good bye for now, dear friend!
Rose Bennet

It was not very late when Beth finished reading her book, and since it was still light out, she decided to take a walk. The cool breeze felt wonderful on her cheeks as she walked through the garden and onto the street. She breathed in deeply. It was wonderful to be alive and outside on a December evening like this -- it was not raining, not snowing, and the air wasn't too frosty. Beth's favorite time of year was winter -- if it didn't rain too much. Since it usually did rain a lot though -- and snowed very seldom, Beth was beginning to think that perhaps it was autumn that she liked best -- and then winter.

'Ah, well.' Beth sighed, and forgot which season was her favorite month as she kept on walking.

Beth realized too late that she had strayed too far from home. She thought that she would get lost when she set out? Why had she not heeded the nagging thought? She turned around in a circle. Then she ran back in the direction she thought she had come.

Perhaps she would have made it home without much trouble -- had she not bumped into two men who were walking down the street. She jumped back and the men peered at her closely.

"Eh Jones! Looky wot we 'ave 'ere! A lil' doll to play with," Jones cocked his head.

"A very pretty doll at that, Canner," he said.

"Wanna play with me dolly?" the man who had spoken first said to Beth. The man cackled and reached his hand towards her. Beth ran. She ran she fast as she could, but the men followed.

"Help!" she cried as she ran through alleyways, and down a long street.

"You don' need to yell, lil' dolly. We'll be good to ye," one of the men called after her, as they followed swiftly. Beth looked behind her and saw the men gaining on her. She tried to run faster -- but stumbled and fell hard on the cobblestone. She closed her eyes and waited for the men to grab her...

clip clop

What was that?

clip clop

Beth opened her eyes and lifted her head up a little to see. Lights...lamplight...a carriage! She scrambled up and began to run toward the carriage coming in her direction.

"Looky 'ere gal, stay with us and play! We'll be good to ye! Just come home and play!" Canner sneered, as he grabbed hold of Beth's wrist, pulling her toward him.

"NO!" Beth screamed, and he gasped as the carriage came to a halt right in front of them! Canner let go of her wrist and started to run into the shadows as a horse whip came flicking at him and his companion.

"Lay your hands off of the lady!" a voice was crying, and Beth, who had crumpled to the ground, turned and saw a middle-aged, tall, man with dark hair step quickly out of the carriage and start towards her. A woman also stepped out of the carriage and came towards her. She was graceful and beautiful...and there was something very familiar about her, Beth thought...

"Mrs. Darcy!" Beth cried, and began to sob when the woman's strong arms circled around her, helping her up.

"Who is this Elizabeth?" the man asked, as she helped Beth up and led her to the carriage. The man followed.

"It's Charlotte Collins' daughter, Fitzwilliam. Her name is Beth." Mr. Darcy smiled.

"The one you always talked about?"

"Yes." Elizabeth said, and she and Beth stepped into the carriage with Mr. Darcy following.

Beth stopped crying, and looked around the carriage.

"Who is this mamma?" a young man's voice was saying.

"Richard, JaneAnne, Marianne, I want you all to meet Miss Beth Collins," Elizabeth said, and Beth wiped her eyes with a handkerchief that Mr. Darcy had offered. "Beth, this is my son Richard, and daughters JaneAnne and Marianne."

Chapter 9A

Posted on Sunday, 24 October 1999

"Hello," The three children chorused.

"Where are you from?" Richard asked as he eyed Beth curiously.

"I'm living with Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Did you all know that?" Beth asked. Mr. Darcy looked away from her and Elizabeth D. looked uncomfortable.

"Lady Catherine has not been on speaking terms with us since we married." Elizabeth D. said quietly, and Beth nodded understandingly.

"We will take you back to Lady Catherine's townhouse and drop you off there. But while you are here would you like to spend some time with us?" Elizabeth D. asked, and Beth nodded her head vigorously. Elizabeth D. gave them their address.

"Mrs. Darcy? I would like to invite you, and Mr. Darcy of course, to my coming out ball. I will let you know when the exact date will be." Beth said. Elizabeth raised one eyebrow.

"Will Lady Catherine approve of that?" she asked, and Beth's face fell for a moment.

"She doesn't have to know..." Beth began, "until the day of the ball when you arrive. If she wanted to get you out, she'd have to make a scene, and that would mean disgrace. Besides, she told me I could invite whom ever I wanted." Elizabeth D. and Darcy smiled.

"We'll see Beth. I do want to be there for you..." Elizabeth began, but the carriage came to a halt, and Beth was home. She kissed Elizabeth D. and then got out of the carriage. She stood on the pavement and watched them depart. She sighed and then headed back into the house. Lady Catherine had not even known she was missing...

"Our last night together before you leave." Solodkov sighed. I looked away from his sad face, and around the garden. The sun had just set and brilliant colors of red, pink, orange and yellow still filled the sky.

"It can't be helped Mr. Solodkov. You will be leaving soon as well." I said, and he shook his head.

"Please, call me Alexander - or Sasha. And I promise to write you when I'm gone."

I laughed. "Sasha?" I exclaimed, very amused.

"It's short for Alexander in Russian. Please, call me Sasha. All of my very dear friends call me that." he pleaded.

"I like Alexander." I said, and he stood up from his seat and fingered a rose that was on a bush near by me. I looked at him inquiringly.

"What is the matter?" I asked, and he sat next to me after a few minutes of thinking, then took hold of my hand and held it for a minute, as if he didn't know what to say. I wanted to give him a sign to say something, but didn't know exactly what.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and I looked at him, puzzled.

"Talking to you." I said, nervously. I couldn't think of anything else to say, and so tried to joke a bit.

"No, what do you want from me?" he asked, and then let go of my hand. He looked worried or nervous. "Do you love me Rose?" he asked finally, after a long pause, and I faltered.

I reminded myself of how many times I had thought of what would happen if he asked me that question. I rehearsed what I would answer, how I would act. Some day's I would think that I would say yes, other times no...but lately I had always thought that I would say yes...but now...

"I - well, I don't know." I answered unsteadily. He stood up and paced again. He looked unsure about how to react to my answer. I fiddled with a trinket I was wearing, and then made up my mind about what to say, "Do you love me?" I whispered and he turned back.

"Yes." he answered simply. I didn't know what to answer and cursed myself for having forgotten everything I had planned to say.

"Teach me Alexander. Teach me what it is to love." I said. He sent me a clear gaze with those eyes...

I knew he was going to kiss me before it happened. I expected it to be something more than a kiss on the cheek though. But as soon as I felt his lips on my cheek I felt faint and needed to catch my breath. He moved away from me and I closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them he was leaving. Something in me started screaming: Don't go! Don't leave me! I suddenly called to him,

"I love you! I love you Sasha!" he turned and smiled at me. I felt as if I was ice, touched by the warm sun...and melting. He then came up to me, and reached out his hand. I grasped it for a second, held it to my heart, and then let if fall. He then pulled a beautiful silk scarf out of his breast pocket. It was lavender...my favorite color. How had he known? He gently placed it around my neck. He then pulled out a few pieces of paper with writing on them.

"These are for when you miss me terribly. It's a few passages from my note book, about when I first met you, and why I love you." he said, his voice sounding hoarse, and then left.

I stared at the papers and scarf in my hand for a few minutes. A tear rolled down my cheek. I knew now that I loved him with all of my heart. I would do anything for him, and never wanted to be separated. I felt gladness at knowing we loved each other, but the knowledge of his going away made my heart feel heavy again.

"He promised to write..." I told myself, but the emptiness I felt inside would not go away.

Beth turned to page and saw the pages from Alexander's journal. She unfolded them and began reading.

Today I have met a very beautiful woman. Her name is Rose Bennet. I first saw her at an evening party. She was sitting down and thinking. I could have watched her for hours without stopping. The first minute I saw her I knew she was someone wonderful, and knew when I watched her that I should be careful. Once, she met my eyes and looked surprised that I was watching her. She then looked away, turned in her seat, and looked at her sister who was also watching me. He face darkened for a minute, and she rose from her seat, leaving the room. Her sister then came and talked to me. The sister, Miss Elizabeth is very nice. However I do hope she'll give me a chance to speak with her sister. I look forward to seeing more of Rose Bennet.

I have been visiting the Bennets to try and become better acquainted with the eldest Miss Bennet. But every time I go her sister Elizabeth is always there to greet me, to talk to me. I never have a chance to speak to Miss Rose. I think Miss Elizabeth is attached to me, while I am swiftly finding myself wanting to be with her older sister -- and only her! I can not tell if Miss Bennet wants to talk to me. She is always very quiet when we meet, but talks to a man named York.

She danced the second two dances with me. I can not tell what she meant when she talked to me, but know that now she expects me to marry Miss Elizabeth Bennet. What a fool I am! Why must she think so? Have I acted in a way that makes them think I am in love with the second youngest sister? No! I have tried to pay attention to the oldest! But perhaps it is not too late. Maybe her parents will put a stop the her attachment...

I now pity Miss Elizabeth. She really was attached to me and, as I had wished, her parents have ended the fancy. She hardly speaks to me now, but is very gloomy. Miss Bennet does not talk to me at all, and now I think she is angry.

Rose Bennet is not angry at me! She talked to me this evening about how I was depressed. I not only was able to speak to her about my true feelings, and learn that she returned my affections at least a little -- but also learned a new word. I will have to remember it.

Her brother is now engaged to be married to Miss Roe's best friend. I'm very happy for her. And as I watched Miss Rose this evening, I had a feeling that this was something more than a slight attachment to me. Could it be turning into something more?

I have decided today that I love Rose. She allows me to call her Rose when we are talking together. I love her for everything that she is, and my heart is light because I have discovered this. Our only obstacles now is that I'm not sure if she loves me; her father; and that she will be leaving Bath in two days time. I will tell her everything before she leaves and will give her a few pages of this notebook for her to read. And also the purple scarf that was grandmother's. But only if she loves me...

Beth smiled as she held the pages of his journal and Rose's diary. 'So romantic!' she thought, and then remembered something about the box in which she had found the diary in. She pulled the box out from where it was hidden under the bed, and opened it. Inside, she smelled the faint scent of perfume and lifted the bundle of letters and a thin book out of the box. She then rested her eyes on the silk scarf that lay on the bottom of the box. She had not touched it before and was nervous to do so now.

'It is so old!' she thought, but then reached down her hand and lifted it out of the box. It was soft and beautiful: the scarf given to Rose by Alexander ...Sasha. Beth smiled to herself and then glanced back down at the box.

She saw a little handle on the green velvet that lined the box and pulled on it. A part of the box opened on the bottom, and inside were a few jewels. Beth gasped as she saw an almost completely empty perfume bottle, an opal pin and a pearl necklace with matching earrings.

"Why would she leave these here?" Beth thought aloud, and had an urge to read the end of the diary. She decided not to, and put everything back the way it was.

"I wonder if I could wear the pearls at my coming out ball?" Beth thought, wondering if it would be wrong. Then she blew out the light, and went to sleep.

Chapter 9B

Posted on Sunday, 31 October 1999

Beth woke up one morning with a splitting headache and fever. It was a week before her coming out ball, but now she needed to tell Lady Catherine that she was ill, and couldn't have it so soon. She rang her bell for Lily, who came into the room.

"Lily --" Beth began. Her voice cracked and she couldn't speak above a whisper, "Tell Lady Catherine that I can't have the ball so soon. I feel very ill, and need rest. Tell her that I'm just feeling very ill though, as I do not want a doctor." Lily nodded and was starting out the door when she collided with Lady Catherine's servant. Lily stopped for a minute to listen to what she would say.

"Lady Catherine has ordered me to tell you Miss Elizabeth, that she is feeling ill today, and wishes to postpone the ball until perhaps next month." she servant said.

Lily answered for Beth by saying that she was also feeling poorly, and saw do difficulty with the ball's date being moved. The servant left, and Lily also left after making sure Beth had everything she needed.

Beth sat up in her bed, propped up by her pillows and took a sip of her tea with milk and honey in it. Lily had told her that it helped tremendously with colds and Beth was willing to try anything that tasted good. Beth found the remedy very tasty, and so decided to relax and stay in bed. After a few minutes of trying to embroider, Beth gave in, finding that her hands were shaking slightly and her head was beginning to throb. She closed her eyes for a few minutes until the throbbing stopped, and she pulled forth Rose's diary, which she had placed under her pillow last night, and began to read.

August 14, 1765

I have not written in about a month, but have finally disciplined myself enough to sit down and write to you. I have actually been spending my evenings writing to Sasha. He has sent me one letter so far. I wanted to hear from him more often -- but he says that he has been busy with parties that his friends have been throwing. His letters are always short but I love getting them.

Margaret is with child. They were married two months ago now, (I think), and she will have her baby sometime in March. I am so excited! I will be an aunt! Thomas and Margaret are very happy as well.

Elizabeth is not gloomy anymore, and is herself again. She talks cheerfully and spends much of her time with a new friend she has made at church. She does not spend as much time with me anymore, but that does not bother me. I enjoy being by myself these days.

I will conclude now, but promise to write twice a week at most but at least every week. I promise no more as I will be writing letters more often then diary entries.

Rose Bennet

August 22, 1765

I have kept my promise, and am writing you as I should. I received another letter from Sasha, telling me of how he misses me. We have a friend in Bath how helps get the letters to me without my parents knowing. I also send the letters to her. I know it is a she from Sasha, but have never met her myself. Perhaps someday.

But again the letter is short. I do not mind as I think it is hard for him to find time to write me. His cousin, (well, he says they are third cousins or something), Mr. Field, I hear is a very busy man, always going places and throwing evening parties. Also, Sasha hates to write in English. It's lucky for me that he writes his journal in English, to improve his skills, but his entries there are also short and infrequent. I write him very long letters and he writes that he enjoys reading them every night before going to bed.

We already plan for Thomas and Margaret's little one. I shall knit some very nice things for it, and will also embroider some handkerchiefs for it. Mother and Father are excited already. They have already thought of names to give to Thomas and Margaret when they visit us. At present they are staying with Maragret's relatives in Bath but are coming to live with us again tomorrow.

Mr. York has come to Meryton. I am not pleased, for he has come visiting again, and I cannot say anything as I am not engaged to Sasha -- yet. I believe I wish to be engaged to him, but he is not here. Mr. York is a very wonderful person, and I would like him very much -- as a friend. But I do not wish him as a lover. Perhaps he will forget about me if Elizabeth takes a liking to him.

Yours ever,
Rose Bennet

Beth raised her eyes from the book, a sudden idea springing into her head. She got out of bed quickly and crawled under it, remembering too late that her head still felt bad. But she did not climb back into bed to relax until she had the box in her hands.

Beth settled back into the pillows and under the covers before opening the box again and inhaling its sweet aroma. She lifted Elizabeth journal from the top, and pulled out the bundle of letters. She hurriedly untied the knot with which the letters were tied together and looked at the address on one of the envelopes.

"Just as I thought!" she whispered. The letters were addressed to Miss Rose Bennet from Mr. Alexander Solodkov, Bath. She smiled to herself and opened on of them.

The date was the 30th of July. The first letter, Beth thought, and began reading.

Dearest Rose,

You cannot know how much it means to me when I get your letters. I get them every other day, and read them with great pleasure every night. I enjoy reading about what happens to you during the day, and my heart was glad when I heard about the news concerning your brother and sister in law's blessing.

I cannot begin to say how much I miss you, or how much I love you because the letter would never end. And I do not know if I could write so much in Engilsh. So moya darogaya, (my dear), you will have to satisfy yourself with my poor, short letters. I never write much in my letters, even in Russian, and it is hard for me to do it in English for you. But since I'm writing for you, I will try to make them longer.

I go to many parties almost every evening. Mr. Field is a very out-going man, and so is his wife. I hear he has been working on a estate near your county. An old manor house that he is fixing up and will re-name. We plan to stay there this autumn if his plans go well. If it really is near you, then perhaps we may visit. We shall see.

I must finish my letter. We are holding a whist party this evening, and I have been invited to join in the game. I will write as soon as I have more spare time.

Yours,
Sasha Solodkov

Beth turned back to the diary...

September 5, 1765

I have not written for about two weeks, but I have not had time. At least it has not been a month. I have begun tutoring May. I teach her French and help her with her handwriting. It is tiresome work and I hate doing it. Mother thinks it will help May however, as my French is excellent and handwriting nice as well. Elizabeth is helping her with everything else.

Thomas and his wife have arrived and are staying with us. I am enjoying Margaret's company, and am delighted when we are alone and can talk.

I still write frequently to Sasha. There have been no more letters yet, only two so far, and I am feeling a little gloomy these days. Still, I am expecting his letter soon. I wonder which manor house Mr. Field is fixing up?

Oh dear, May needs me to help her with her lessons. How tedious, and just when I was beginning to tell my news! Well, good bye for now!

Rose Bennet

"I hope you will be nice to Mr. York this evening, because he has been very attentive to you." My mother told me the night we were invited to the Longs' evening party. I sighed, exasperated, and then went downstairs.

We were visiting the Longs'. But this evening party was supposedly a sort of miniature ball, and there were supposedly our new neighbors who were to be there. They had taken the house near to us. It used to an old cottage, but the new neighbors have been repairing it, making additions, and all sorts of things. I was eager to meet them.

The carriage ride to the Longs' was not extensive, and we arrived at their house shortly. We were greeted by them and then led into the ballroom were everything was prepared. It was a miniature ball!

"Rose! Rose, pay attention!" My mother said and led me over to a group of people. Mrs. Long was speaking to my father and sisters.

"...And let me introduce Mr. Field, his wife Mrs. Field and their relation, Mr. Alexander Solodkov."

My head, which had been turned the other way, snapped over in the direction of Mrs. Long. A tall, dark hair young man turned and his gaze fell on me. As I looked up into his amazing blue eyes and realized that it really was him I nearly fainted. Recollecting myself however, I smiled as I never had before and curtsied most prettily.

The house of which he had been speaking was the house three miles away from us! It was re-named Netherfield. I was never so happy in my life as I was that evening. Sasha claimed me for the first two dances.

Chapter 10A

Posted on Monday, 1 November 1999

September 30th, 1765

Sasha is here! I have been spending much time with him. We are rarely alone, but the Field's have a friend staying with them, a John and his sister, Miss Sarah... something. I can not remember their name, and it is so easy! It begins with an N. Oh well! I visit the girl, and we have become good friends. She is about my age. It is actually rumoured that her brother, Mr. John N...is soon to be married to the eldest of the Field's daughters, who is fifteen. I think she is rather young, but perhaps it is only a rumour.

Sasha has again told me that he loves me. We have been having such a nice time talking together! I must conclude now, as it is very late at night, and I must be going to bed.

Yours ever,
Rose Bennet

Sasha and I were strolling through the garden at Netherfield. Sarah had gone into the house with the complaint of a headache and left Sasha and me alone. I was no longer uncomfortable with him alone, and we chatted about many different things together. I then decided to tell him my worst fear...

"Sasha, there is something important I need to ask you. Mr. York has been calling..." I glanced at him as we walked and saw him stiffen.

"Yes?" he asked with a glance at me.

I continued. "Well, I do not know what to do. My mother is looking forward to my marrying him, and I'm sure my father does too," Sasha stopped walking and took my arm.

"He has proposed and you are asking if you should accept him?" he asked, searching my eyes in a frantic way. I pulled away from him.

"What kind of person do you think I am?" I cried, wounded. He relaxed, and asked me to continue. "I just don't know how to put him off. Should I do it directly, or softly, or not put him off at all?" I asked.

"So you family does not know of our attachment at all?" he asked and I shook my head.

"No. I don't want it to be put to an end." I said.

"It would be rather rude to put him off directly..." Sasha began, and I waited for his answer. "Perhaps it would be best if we didn't keep the attachment secret...f you openly show that you love me. What your father does not know about me is that I have a very good future. I'm to inherit a nice estate in my homeland and, until I do, my sea faring career is not going badly. If that were explained to your father at some time I'm sure he would have no objection..." Sasha said, and glanced at me with great warmth in his eyes.

I kissed his cheek and then said I had to go home. I felt wonderful feeling certain, that everything thing was going to work out. I practically skipped into the house and was heading down the corridor to my room when my father called to me from his study, asking me to come see him. I walked in briskly and sat down. In a dreamy way I asked,

"Yes father, what is it?"

He cleared his throat matter-of-factly. "I have just had a very important meeting with Mr. James York." he said. I snapped to attention at that name.

"That's very interesting. I said, and he nodded.

"We have come to a very important decision." He paused and looked at me. By this time, I was getting rather nervous. He cleared his throat again. "He asked permission for your hand in marriage."

I rose in my seat. He motioned for me to sit down. I relaxed, thinking that he had not given permission if he was trying to calm me.

"I have given him my permission." he said. I jumped from my seat this time, knocking it over.

"What?" I almost yelled.

"You are to marry Mr. York. He is in the library, awaiting you with a ring. You will decide on a date. Let me tell you my daughter, that it should be soon as well. Go on then. He is waiting for you. You must marry him Rose." he said coldly. I looked into his eyes. This was not the father I knew. But then, my father had always been proud, and always wished for more. Argument would be useless.

I walked stiffly from the room. I no longer felt the happiness that I had only a few moments ago. I felt despair and rebelliousness. I would not marry Mr. James York. I glanced up and he was standing before me, reaching for my arm and taking hold of it gently. I jerked away and roughly moved past him. I then almost ran from the house, towards Netherfield. I had to find Sasha!

I ran as fast as I could to Netherfield. I found Sasha where I had left him, in the garden. He was sitting on a bench, meditating.

"Sasha!" I called, out of breath. He stood up and a smile crossed his face as he saw me run up to him.

"You couldn't stand being away from me for more then a half an hour?" he joked, but the serious look on my face made his smile disappear. "What is the matter?" he asked and I caught my breath.

"Mr. York visited father today and has asked for my hand in marriage! Oh Sasha, he says I must marry him!" I cried. He stood still for a few minutes. Then he smiled at me.

"Then there is only one thing we can do." he kneeled down in front of me. "Will you marry me Rose Julia Bennet?" he asked as my eyes filled with tears.

"Yes," I whispered at first, and then, "Yes I will marry you, Alexander Solodkov...Sasha!" He rose and took both of my hands in his. We kissed and then he held me for a long time.

I rested my head on his strong shoulder and forgot everything that had happened. I did not have to marry York because I would marry Sasha. My father would get over it because Sasha's prospects were not bad at all. Mother would never have wanted to me to enter into an engagement without my consent anyway.

"I love you." I whispered, and Sasha lifted my chin and kissed me on the lips again. We embraced and then began walking back in the direction of the house.

Sasha began fiddling with one of my curls, which was falling out of my hair. I sprang away from him playfully, again in my good mood. He, sensing that I was playing, ran after me as I went down the path. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the direction of Netherfield.

"I want to tell John Nether. He is my best friend and will be happy to hear the news." I still wanted to play chase for a minute before going in, to let out the energy that was making me giddy.

"No!" I cried but he dragged me in the direction he wanted to go, despite my struggle. I looked at him with a wicked smile on my face and was about the use all my strength to pull my arm free when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, yanking me away from Sasha. I turned around and stared into the brown eyes of John York! His eyes were filled with rage and he pushed me away from him. I fell back and watched as York hit Sasha.

"No!" I screamed and York turned to face me as Sasha held a hand to his bleeding nose. "Don't, Sasha." I said, as he looked as though he was about to hit York back. York glared at me.

"What are you doing with him?" he growled and grasped onto my hand.

"I was spending some time saying good bye to him. I must marry you and he has been my very dear friend. I have not done anything dishonorable John." I said. Sasha stared at me.

He looked as if it was I who had slapped him. My heart felt like it was ripping, but I continued bravely.

"This wasn't what you thought is was. We were just..." I searched for the right word to explain our game, "Playing. Now Mr., York, really. Cannot I have a little fun with an old friend of mine? I was so happy about the news that I was giddy, and was letting out some energy by running. He was stopping me from doing this, saying it was too unladylike, but I disagreed. Oh look, here is Sarah back! She can tell you we weren't doing anything wrong, were we Sarah?" I lied.

"No..." she began.

"You see! Come John, let us go back to the house. We have many things to discuss." I led him away from Sasha and Sarah. I knew Sasha saw through what I had said.

I glanced up at John. With a sickening feeling I realized that the man loved me with all of his heart! I felt a pang of remorse for him, but knew what I had to do. We talked that day about plans and decided on a date: October the 11th. That was only five days away. I then left him and went up to my room. I began to write a note to Sasha:

Meet me in the gardens at Netherfield on the 10th at midnight. From there we can go to Meryton and take a carriage that I will order to Gretna Green where we can marry.

Yours,
Rose

I sent it to him with a little servant boy with the promise that, if he carried it there safely and brought a message back, I'd give him a pound. Very expensive, but I was desperate. This is the message I received back:

Rose, I will meet you there. After we are married, we may travel on a ship named St. Maria, a Russian ship that I would eventually have gotten on anyway. It will take us to my Homeland. I have sent an express to the Capitain, who is my very good friend that we are coming, and they will not sail away until we arrive. Also, on the way there, we may stop in a little town I know of with a church there. It is near here. We have enough time to arrange a respectable licence sevretly, and will be married without much scandal, besides the fact that you were to be married to someone else. I will begin making the arrangments.

Yours,
Sasha

Chapter 10B

Posted on Wednesday, 3 November 1999

October 10, 1765

Dear friend, I am leaving Longbourn today! How I shall miss it, and my family. Elizabeth I will miss the most. I am leaving my diary here, in the room. She will find it I know, because I'm leaving her a letter. I will leave Mother and Father a letter as well, explaining my true feelings, and telling them that we will be married respectably. I am so nervous! I even have a nice white dress that I will bring. I may not bring very many of my things with me, as it will be a lot to carry. John and his sister are to be witnesses for the wedding. I am so nervous I can hardly write!

It is later on in the night. I am leaving now, and have finished the letters to my family. I shall leave in an hour. Everything has gone well. So farewell my friend, forever! Perhaps someday I shall return if my parents allow it, and will write in you again.

Yours forever,
Rose Julia Bennet

Beth sorrowfully lifted her eyes from the book. The diary was ended with about ten pages left blank. She pulled out the bundle of letters and carefully chose the one Rose had written to Elizabeth.

Dearest Liz,

I write to you in the greatest of haste. I am to marry Alexander Solodkov. I know you will hate me for a while, but you will get over it. Perhaps you do not care for him anymore, and will be happy for me. But you must understand, dearest, that I cannot marry Mr. York. He is a good man, but nothing to Alexander ... my Sasha. We will be married tonight at a respectable church, not at Gretna Green. Comfort Mama and Papa as best you can, and the girls. But help Mr. York as well. He will need help I believe.

I must leave but, before I go, you must find my diary. It is under my bed. Find it and read it. Then you will understand everything more clearly.

I love you forever,
Your sister Rose

Beth reached again for the diary. She touched the last page Rose had written and suddenly noticed that the back of the next page looked as though something was glued to it. She turned the page quickly. A newspaper clipping was stuck to the page.

The Russian ship, called the Saint Maria never reached its destination. It was --

The article was cut off there, and nothing else was written.

A tear began to stream slowly down Beth's cheek. She quickly wiped it away but more tears began streaming. She couldn't stop them, so she silently wept to herself for the fate of Rose Julia Solodkov.

Later on that day after Beth had finished a nap, she suddenly remembered Elizabeth's diary. She found the box and pulled out the diary with shaky hands. She didn't want to read it but she had to know what had happened; if Rose had really died. She opened it and began reading the script, which was small and more elegant than Rose's ...

Rose is gone. I found her diary under her bed today. I have put it in her favorite box, along with her pearls and the jewelry she left behind. They are all her favorite things. I think she left them to me. I will wear some of, and whoever finds this book and learns Rose's fate may also wear them for, when I leave this house forever, I will leave them and the box here, under my bed. She also left behind her scarf; the most beautiful scarf I've ever seen. I do not know why she left it but think she did it by mistake. I miss her terribly.

The word 'terribly' was smeared, obviously because of a tear, Beth saw, and her eyes again welled up with tears as she read on.

She never told me that she loved him! Never asked if it was alright that she leaves me alone! She was wrong, I did not love Solodkov anymore. I'll try to do everything she had told me to do and to help Mr. York out. He is very upset since we found out she was gone.

I don't know what to do without her

Another smudged spot on the paper!

She ought never to have gone without saying goodbye to me!

More smudging

Well, I must stop for now. Goodbye, my romantic sister! May you rest in peace.

Elizabeth!

Beth raised her eyes from the book. She could see Elizabeth sitting before her at the writing desk, shakily writing down a few notes. Tears began falling down Elizabeth's pale cheeks, and she began sobbing as she wrote.

Beth shook her head, trying to be more cheerful. After all, this had been many, many years ago, and Elizabeth was probably dead by now. She turned back to the diary. Nothing else was really important. The birth of her cousin, a boy, the late Mr. Bennet, Elizabeth's father! Other birth dates followed and then Beth came to a very interesting date. It was the marriage of Mr. John York and Elizabeth Bennet, in 1767. Two years after Rose disappeared John York had fallen in love with the second eldest of the Bennet sisters. A few things in his praise were jotted down by Elizabeth before she was married and then the dates stopped .

The box was finished. She had read everything she could about the Bennet sisters and Rose's tragic history. Beth closed the note book and then put everything back into the box, turned the key, and put it under her bed.

As a tear streamed down her cheek she said, "Oh, I wish I'd never found it!" and began to cry, hating herself for being too emotional and wishing that she had never heard of Rose Bennet. It caused her only grief and sorrow. What good would knowing about Rose do for Beth? How would it help her in any way? Nothing. None at all.

Chapter 11A

Posted on Sunday, 14 November 1999

Beth got up from bed and stretched. She was feeling very well that morning, and quite herself. It had been almost two weeks since she had become sick. She had slowly gotten better and today was feeling so much herself that she decided to get up and do something. She dressed herself quickly, (Beth could dress herself when she wanted to), and then had the maid put up her hair. She walked downstairs and crept into the dining room. Lady Catherine was not there.

"Ah, Miss?" a nervous voice said behind her. Beth turned.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Lady Catherine is still quite unwell. She will not be down for at least another week. May I get you something to eat, Miss?" the servant asked.

"Yes, please. I am quite hungry." Beth answered and sat down at the huge table.

She ate a nice breakfast and then decided to send a note to Mrs. Darcy, asking when she could see her. This was the reply she received the next day:

Dearest Beth,

You cannot know how happy I was to receive your letter. I am glad you are feeling better, although I must confess that I had no knowledge of your being ill until you wrote me yesterday. If you can, I should like to invite you to our townhouse this evening at seven o'clock. I believe I gave you the address, and you must have it since you were able to reach me by letter. We shall look forward to seeing you,

Elizabeth Rose Bennet

Beth stared at the name for a few seconds. Elizabeth Rose Bennet...was there a connection between them? Had Elizabeth told Mrs. Darcy's father about her elder sister? Beth folded the letter, still pondering. She prepared herself for her visit and then left in the carriage.

Elizabeth D. met her as she stepped out of the carriage at the Darcy's large townhouse. Beth was embraced in a warm hug, and led inside.

"How are you feeling?" Elizabeth asked.

"Very well, thank you." Beth answered as she and Elizabeth walked into the parlor where the rest of the family was assembled.

They all rose from their seats and greeted her when she entered the room. Beth looked from one face to the other. Mr. Darcy was still good looking, even in his 40's. Richard Darcy must have looked exactly like his father had at his age, only he had blue eyes. JaneAnne Darcy was 12 years old and looked very much like Jane Bingley. Marianne Darcy was a curly headed, spunky five-year-old who wasted no time in asking Beth to sit beside her.

Beth chatted pleasantly with the whole family for the rest of the evening. The two girls went to bed after eight o'clock but Richard stayed downstairs with their guest and his parents. Soon he and Mr. Darcy left the room to play a little pool together and to let the ladies talk. Beth was grateful for their leaving for a short while as she had wanted to ask Elizabeth about the diary.

"Mrs. Darcy, I was wondering if I could ask you a question?" Beth asked.

"Please, do."

"Why is your middle name Rose?" Elizabeth blinked.

"My middle name? Well, I - ah, don't really know. I think it was an acquaintance of my parents; someone whom they loved dearly." She stammered, very surprised at the question.

"Oh, I was just wondering." Beth said, and let the subject drop.

They talked of many different things that evening, but Beth made sure to keep away from the subject of Rose Julia Bennet. Perhaps Elizabeth had never heard of her.

"Miss Bennet?" Mr. Darcy asked her before she took her leave. "We are going to an evening party, held by one of Elizabeth's relatives tomorrow evening. Will you accompany us? It is a very small party and all of them are very dear friends of hers. Even Richard, my son, will be going."

"But I have not been invited." Beth said.

"She told us that we may invite anyone whom we should wish to invite. The lady's name is Hall. You should come by tomorrow afternoon and we will take you there with us." Elizabeth explained. Then Beth got into the carriage and drove away.

She was to go to an evening party the next day, at the residence of Mrs. Hall. How interesting.

Chapter 11B

Posted on Sunday, 14 November 1999

Beth made sure her hair was perfect the next day and decided to wear Rose's pearls. She carefully put on the necklace and earrings and the opal pin. She felt a little funny wearing them, until she remembered that Elizabeth had wrote that anyone who read the diaries could wear them. She relaxed, then picked up the perfume bottle and inspected it. There was still a little bit at the bottom.

'Could I wear some, and leave just a bit at the bottom so I could re-fill this?' Beth mused while opening the lid and using a drop of the stuff. She then put it back in the box and put it in its place under the bed.

Beth glanced at the mirror and stopped to gape at herself. Where was Beth? She hadn't looked at herself seriously in a long time, not really in a year or so. Why had she changed so much? Beth wondered if she was pretty, but then decided she wasn't. Black hair wasn't the style, blonde hair was. She sighed and then, glancing at the clock in her room, realized it was time to go and hurried down stairs.

The Darcys drove her to Mr. and Mrs. Hall's town house, which was in a nice part of town, even if it wasn't the richest part. They entered the house and Beth was introduced to everyone assembled; a Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, who were a newly wed couple in their late twenties, all of the older Halls, Mr. and Mrs. Hall. That was all who were assembled, and with the Darcys it made a rather large party.

They were talking pleasantly. Beth observed every person in the room carefully. They all looked like Elizabeth's side of the family, with dark hair and brown eyes. She felt out of place with raven black hair and blue eyes. Then she noticed again that Richard had blue eyes. She was interested in this. She knew he wasn't in any way related to Solodkov but she was fond of blue eyes now. She watched him for a little while when she became a little bored and found him to be very interesting, despite the fact that he was a year younger than herself. Was that what Rose had felt towards Solodkov when they first met? Beth mused, but decided it wasn't. She perhaps liked Richard, but did not love him.

Beth grew tired of watching Richard, so she observed the room. It was a nice room, with big windows and a good view of a garden. She then turned in her seat a little and looked through the door by which they had entered. She saw a hall, nicely furnished, and a staircase. She suddenly noticed someone slowly coming down the stairway, leaning heavily on the banister.

Beth watched as the figure came completely into view. It was a very old woman in a nice dress and beautiful shawl. Her snow-white hair was piled up on her head and was not covered by a customary cap. As she made it down the stairs and turned in the direction of the room where everyone was gathered, she stumbled.

Beth rose from her seat and rushed to the woman's aid. She took her fragile arm and led her to the room. Beth looked at the woman. She was ancient. Her face was wrinkled but her cheeks were still rosy. The woman turned to her and said,

"Thank you." Her voice was not shaky, it was still strong, and her sky blue eyes were still bright and happy. Beth decided that she was ageless.

"You're welcome." Beth answered as Mrs. Hall stepped out of the room when she noticed her mother coming down the stairs.

"Oh, Miss Beth, why didn't you tell us she was coming down. This way, Mother. Right this way." Mrs. Hall fussed. Her mother didn't seem to like her daughter's attempts at making her comfortable.

"I can manage fine with this young lady, dear. Go back to your guests. I will be in shortly." The lady sat down in a chair in the hallway, still holding Beth's hand. Mrs. Hall nervously went back into the room. The old woman smiled.

"They always try to pamper me." She said, "What is your name girl?"

"My name is Beth Collins Bennet."

"Ah, you're the eldest daughter of the man living at Longbourn, am I correct?" The woman asked, and Beth nodded.

"Mrs. Hall is the old Mr. Bennet's cousin you know. She is my youngest daughter, I had her when I was in my forties." The woman smiled at the recollection. "Shall we go into the room now?" Beth helped her up and they entered the room.

Everyone greeted the woman warmly, calling her either Grandma, Mother, or Great Aunt. Beth couldn't figure out who in the world she was, but she sat by her for the next half-hour. She discovered that the old woman, who she began calling Grandma, had a very good sense of humor and was very interesting to talk to.

Later on in the evening Grandma looked at Beth very hard.

"What's the matter, Grandma?" Beth asked, as the woman turned pale.

She reached out her hand towards Beth but, instead of touching her face, she touched her earrings, then the necklace, and finally the opal pin.

"Where did you get these?" the woman breathed.

"What is your name?" Beth asked, her voice hardly above a whisper...she prayed for the answer Rose...

"Elizabeth York. Mrs. York." She answered, still touching the pin.

Beth almost fainted.

Chapter 12A

Posted on Monday, 15 November 1999

"Mrs. York?" Beth gasped. Mrs. York nodded. "But - but ... you're still alive?"

By this time, everyone one in the room had their eyes riveted on Beth and Mrs. York. Mrs. York's mouth twitched into a tiny smile.

"May I speak with you in private Miss Beth?" She asked and they rose. "This way." Mrs. York led her into a room. "Now where did you get those jewels? "

"I - I found them." Beth stammered.

"Where?"

"In Rose's box." Beth was very nervous. Mrs. York smiled.

"So you found it?"

"Yes ma'am." Beth answered. She was still shocked at the realization that this was the Elizabeth from Rose's diary.

"I'm glad it was you who found it. Old Mr. Bennet found it too. He loved the story, and even named his second daughter after Rose. Dear Rose." Her eyes saddened as she looked at Beth. "It's nice that you are wearing the pearls. They've been put to good use."

"I thought that it would be alright, since you wrote ..."

"Now what did I write?" the old woman mused thoughtfully. "Oh yes, I remember! Anyone who discovers the fate of Rose may wear the pearls and opal. My, how long ago it was." Mrs. York studied her hands, remembering things of long ago.

"Why is her name scratched out?" Mrs. York's eyes filled with tears, and she spoke as if in a dream.

"Pappa was so unhappy when Rose ran away and married. Dear John, my husband, was heartbroken. Mamma cried for days. But Pappa was angry after a while. Then I gave him her letter. He burned it and blotted out her name almost the whole way. He left Rose in because he never could see very well, and I was glad that he didn't erase her whole name. At least I could see that she had been, and when I grew older that she really was. Some days I forget that she ever lived. But those weren't all of the jewels left in the box, oh no. I have a small locket with a drawing of her in it. It's very like her, and when I forget, I look at it." Beth looked at her hand which was clasping something near her heart.

"You are wearing it." Beth breathed.

"Yes. It's hanging there along with the picture of dear John. He got over her of course, and noticed me after a while. But it took a long time."

"So she really did die?" Beth whispered.

"Oh yes." Tears filled Mrs. York's sky blue eyes. "She died a long time ago in that wretched ship called the Saint something. I don't even remember now. It was so long ago."

"Could she still be alive now if the ship hadn't crashed?"

"Oh yes. Yes, the Bennet women always lived a very long time. If she had not married him she would be 81 now. I've never really forgiven her for leaving me alone. But I suppose that if she hadn't gone I never would have married dear John, and would never have been happy. When we go back into the parlor look around the room at my children and grandchildren. They would not be here if she had not gone. But I still miss her."

She rose from her seat and looked at Beth for a little while. She sighed. "Well, I'm tired. I think I'll go back to my room and rest now. Will you help me up the stairs?" she asked Beth.

"Of course." Beth rose from her seat and linked her arm in Mrs. York's to help her upstairs.

They made it up the stairs and Beth was shown where to help Mrs. York to her room. As Beth helped her onto her rocking chair, she glanced around the room. It was beautiful. My things were on the dressing table, many baskets filled with knitting needles, yarn and projects were in the room. Yet everything was neat. Beth covered Mrs. York's knees with a quilt and gave her the knitting basket she asked for. This basket was filled with lace that she was making.

"It's beautiful." Beth admired, and Mrs. York smiled.

"Do you like the quilt?" she asked. Beth looked at it. It was very, very old and faded. It was a flower garden quilt and must have been beautiful once. Mrs. York laughed in a tinkling or silvery kind of way. "No one ever likes it nowadays. But once it was Rose's favorite quilt. She loved to show it to her friends and everyone admired it. She was so good at quilts and lace. I was also quite good and everyone loved our work. We did everything together except the quilt. She did it herself and finished it the day before her eighteenth birthday. I was so proud of her. And that birthday I gave her the journal. I knew she would like it because she had so much to say, such interesting thing to say and no one would listen to her. Rose was what people call 'high spirited'." Beth nodded. "It's a shame the quilt is so ugly and faded now. It was so bright and beautiful once."

Mrs. York lowered her head and concentrated hard on the lace. Beth began to leave the room.

"I will see you again, won't I?" Mrs. York called as Beth was about to shut the door behind her.

"I would be so happy if I could see you again, Grandmother. Will you teach me how to quilt? My mother died when I was young and I don't remember much of the knitting and quilting she taught me. I only know how to embroider small pincushions."

Mrs. York smiled. "Yes, Elizabeth Rose has told me about you. The Collins girl, the daughter of her best friend who died three years ago was it? Yes, if you come tomorrow at tea time I will teach you many things that you ought to have learned. It's shameful the way they are bringing children up these days!" Mrs. York said and then turned back to her lace.

"Goodbye." Beth said.

"Until tomorrow my dear!" Mrs. York called for the room as Beth started down the stairs.

Mrs. York was very old, ancient, but she didn't seem it. She remembered things and was very special. Beth now understood what Rose had meant when she wrote:

...Elizabeth was so confidant and easy... She was always comfortable in society, and always knew what to say and when to say it...

Elizabeth York was such a wonderful person, and Beth looked forward to talking to her more.

Chapter 12B

Posted on Wednesday, 17 November 1999

"Beth!" She whirled around and looked at the face behind her.

"Lady Catherine!" she exclaimed, surprised. Lady Catherine glared at her. Her hair was undone and lay on her shoulders. Her cap was crooked, but she looked very well. "You are up?"

"Where have you been?" Lady Catherine demanded.

"I was at an evening party hosted by Mrs. Hall and her family."

"I see. The Halls are very respectable people." Lady Catherine said. "I am going to dress myself now," Beth saw that Lady Catherine was still in her nightgown and robe, "and then we shall discuss plans for the ball." She finished, and Beth curtsied and started to leave. "Meet me in the sitting room in two quarters of an hour."

Beth nodded, curtsied, and went the rest of the way to her room where she would change into her white evening gown. Beth read a novel until the appointed time for her meeting with Lady Catherine and then she went to the sitting room.

"You are two minutes late, Miss Elizabeth."

"I beg your pardon, Lady Catherine, but the watch in my room said it was five minutes till our appointed time when I left my room and the clock on the mantle piece says -"

"Don't be impertinent miss! Never mind what it says. It is slow. You are late, Miss Bennet. Now, sit here next to me and listen."

Beth sat obediently, but resented the fact that Lady Catherine was being so nasty.

"Your ball will be in two weeks." Lady Catherine stated.

"Lady Catherine, can I not have it in a month?"

"Do not contradict me."

"I am not, ma'am. But after all, it is my ball. Besides, it will be Christmas in two weeks. It would not really be proper to have a ball at Christmas, considering the holiday." Beth ventured. Lady Catherine thought for a minute.

"Very well. We shall have it after new year, on the seventh of January. That will suit us very well."

"You mean that will suit me very well." Beth said and rising from her chair she exited the room, leaving a gaping Lady Catherine behind her.

Three days later ...

"Miss Bennet? This letter has just come for you."

"For me, Lily?" Beth asked, taking the letter in astonishment. "Surely there must be some mistake." she said, but opened the letter which had an unfamiliar seal. "It is a letter from Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, to invite me to a ball they will be holding this Friday! That's two days away." Beth raised her shining eyes from the paper. "The Gardiners were the nice couple I met at Mrs. Hall's. We talked a little and I liked Mrs. Gardiner. Oh Lily, I am so happy!"

Lily smiled at her and then left the room. Beth sat down in a chair and read the invitation. She was sure it was not a large ball. It could not be, because as she was not 'out' yet it would be improper for her to be seen at a large ball in a public place. The letter said it wasn't really a ball, just a party of family and close friends with dancing and dinner.

That evening at dinner Beth told Lady Catherine that she was invited to the Gardiners' for a party.

"What are you thinking, child?" Beth stared at her plate. "I do not care if it is a small party or a large one. It would be alright if they were of a higher class, but not so. Miss Elizabeth, you are not to go to this party at the Gardiners. I happen to know that the Gardiners' are in trade." Lady Catherine finished.

"I shall go, Lady Catherine. It does not matter if they are or aren't. They are very good people and I am invited. Besides, I have already written back and excepted their invitation. If I now refused it would be very rude and I cannot do that."

Lady Catherine shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Then Beth rose from her seat and left the room. She knew she would be able to go.

Chapter 13A

Posted on Thursday, 18 November 1999

Beth sank onto her bed and thought for a few minutes. Was it really her who had talked so impertinently and rather rudely to Lady Catherine? Beth shook her head. It was so unlike Beth to have stood up for herself! This obviously showed that she had her heart set on going to the party...or was it that a spark of the old Beth, the Beth before her mother had died, was showing again? Beth shook her head. She didn't really like the old, rebellious Beth, or the new one who never stood up for herself.

The night of the party/ball...

Beth had been correct in assuming that the ball was really more like a large party with friends. Beth was welcomed very warmly by the Gardiners, and by Elizabeth Darcy and her family, for Richard was also there. Beth chatted with the Darcys for a while until the dancing started. Then she was claimed for the first two dances by Richard Darcy! This caught Beth by surprise, although she welcomed the idea of being able to speak with Richard while they were dancing. He seemed a rather quiet person but it was clear that he enjoyed her company very much. Beth did not know how to react to such attention from someone so ... young as Richard.

The rest of the evening was filled with many delights. Beth was introduced to many relations and family friends of the Gardiners, and of the Halls as well. Mrs. York was not present, however, and Beth could hardly hide her disappointment. She had paid the visit to her, and they had talked. Nothing of Rose, but about life and about quilts. Still, Beth enjoyed their conversations and had hoped to see her at the party that evening.

When they had dined and the dancers were taking a break, someone proposed some music and a song. Beth was not asked to play as no one knew (except for Mrs. Darcy), that she knew how, and Elizabeth knew how it distressed her. Everyone was trying to decide who should play for them when a gentleman appeared in the room. He entered from the door leading to a library, where he had obviously been reading.

"Ah, Peter!" Mr. Gardiner called to the man as he approached him, "Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you A. Peter Nether!" everyone greeted him, and he bowed.

"Now Peter, where have you been all this time?" Mrs. Gardiner asked.

"I have been in the library, ma'am. I prefer reading my book to dancing this evening. I am not feeling in a very jolly mood." Peter answered.

"Ah yes, but I know how to cure that!" Mr. Gardiner said with a wink. "And you have to be in a jolly mood this evening as the dancing is not over and many of these pretty young ladies will want to dance with you my good man!"

Peter smiled to himself and Mrs. Gardiner said, "While you were so busy reading a novel, we have been trying to decide who will play for us, and since you..."

"No, no, Mrs. Gardiner!" the young man cried, waving his hands in a gesture meaning 'no'. "I'd better return to my book ..."

"Peter, my friend, you must not deprive us the pleasure of hearing you!" Charles Bingley cried, (he had also been invited to the party along with his wife).

"Mr. Bingley is quite right!" Mr. Gardiner said. "Peter here plays the violin exceptionally well!" Oh's and ah's rippled around the room. "And we would all be so obliged if you would play us a song."

Peter tilted his head and threw his hands up in defeat. He was given a violin and began playing a beautiful song. Beth listened, enraptured. He played with great feeling and finished the piece without making any mistakes. Everyone applauded him with great appreciation. He was then allowed to sit down and let a young lady perform on the pianoforte. The only vacant seat the young man could find was next to Beth!

He sat down and winked at her. Beth found this rather rude and Richard, who was sitting across from her, did not like it at all. The lady finished playing and Peter addressed Beth.

"It is a lovely party, is it not, ma'am?"

"Oh, yes! It is indeed!" Beth stammered.

"You already know my name, so I would like to know yours. What is it?"

"Her name is Beth Bennet, Peter. You know better then to speak directly to someone when you've not been properly introduced to each other!" Jane Bingley called to him from across the table and then turned her attention back to another group of people who were talking.

"Oh, I beg your pardon Miss Bennet. But I thought it would be alright since Mr. Gardiner had already introduced me." he said. Beth tried to smile but failed. This was not lost on the young man and he said, "Do not be so solemn. I have apologized for my rude behavior."

"I forgive you. What would you like to talk about? Why did you speak to me?" Beth asked rather coldly.

The musicians began playing again and couples rose from their seats to dance.

"Well now, I should like to ask for the next dance if you are not engaged."

"No sir, I am not engaged."

"Then will you do me the honor of dancing the next with me Miss Bennet?"

Beth nodded in reply and he led her to the dance floor where the it was beginning. Richard Darcy watched them with hawk's eyes as they began dancing. Beth looked obviously nervous and uncomfortable, and Richard looked angry and... envious.

Chapter 13B

Posted on Sunday, 21 November 1999

Beth didn't really know what to say to the man, Mr. Nether, dancing with her. She did however attempt a question:

"What novel was it that you were reading, Mr. Nether?" she asked.

He started, as if thinking deeply of something, and then replied, "A novel? What novel?"

Beth was a little annoyed and thought this gentleman couldn't remain serious. "The novel you were reading before you came into the room."

He laughed. "Mrs. Gardiner was mistaken. I was not reading a novel."

"What was it you were reading, Mr. Nether?"

"The Holy Bible."

It was Beth's turn to laugh. "On the night of a party? You choose to read the Bible?" Peter did not see anything funny in this.

"My family are very religious people."

"I understand that because mine are as well, but most young people of my acquaintance never read the Bible while a party is going on."

"Ah yes, but you do not know many young people as you are not 'out' yet. Am I correct in saying so, Miss Bennet?" Beth did not answer for a few moments, but then said he was correct.

"Why would you read the Bible on a night like this, when many of your good friends are wishing you to make your appearance at their party?" Beth asked, trying to make conversation and all the while feeling rather stupid.

"To be perfectly frank with you, I was mourning the lost of my grandfather. I usually read the Bible when I am thinking of someone dear to me who has departed. Besides, I enjoy the Bible."

"If you are in mourning then how could you -"

"Yes Miss Bennet, I know what you are thinking. But you see, my Grandfather died six years ago yesterday."

"I am sorry." Beth said as the dance finished.

"Yes, everyone always says they are sorry." He said as he quickly bowed and led her back to her seat. Instead of sitting down he left the room to go back into the library.

"Well, how did you enjoy your dance?" Beth started a little as she saw Richard sitting next to her. She had been watching Peter's retreat into the library.

"Oh, it was alright I suppose."

"Everyone thinks highly of Mr. Nether, but I for one do not really have much passion for him. I consider him a rather odd foreigner."

"He isn't from this country?"

"Oh he is, but I believe he's had teaching abroad. He learned to play the violin in the Continent somewhere. He didn't learn it here, that's certain." Richard said, throwing a glance at the library door.

"Why should you dislike him?" Beth challenged. Richard did not answer but asked her to dance with him again. Beth consented.

The rest of the evening sped by quickly and by the time Beth gotten home, she was very tired. She could not decide on her opinion of Mr. Peter Nether, nor could she comprehend her feeling for Richard. It was now very clear to her that he admired her. She was, however, older than him, and was soon to come out. He had not finished Cambridge, or perhaps hadn't entered it yet, and was too young for her in many people's opinions. She finally fell asleep after a lot of tossing and turning on the matter.

One Week Later ...

"Good morning, Miss Bennet." Lily said as she opened the curtains and let sunlight stream through the windows and into the dark room. "Did you sleep well, Miss?"

Beth sat up in bed and stretched.

"Very well, I suppose. I am getting more and more nervous about my ball every day." Lily did not know what to say so she began fussing with Beth's hair as soon as she got out of bed and chatting about things to keep her mind off of the ball.

"You remember that you are invited to tea with some of the Bingleys' friends this afternoon? And another letter has come from Mrs. Hall this morning. I suppose she'll invite you over to a party."

"Wonderful. But I feel awkward going over their places these days, Lily. Mr. Nether is always there ..." Lily smiled.

"You must not be afraid of him, Miss."

"I am not afraid, but he does have a knack of making me feel uncomfortable and silly. Richard is always at the parties too, and he embarrasses me with all of his attentions." Lily fixed Beth's hair thoughtfully. "Lily?' Beth asked, turning in her seat to look at her.

"Yes, miss?"

"Have you ever been in love?" Beth asked, watching Lily's face closely. She blushed under Beth's gaze.

"Yes, miss."

"And what did you feel like? Was it wonderful, or horrid? Did you know that you were in love, or were you uncertain?" Lily shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh - well it is not my place to say, miss."

"But Lily," Beth took her hand, "You are the only friend of my age that I have. Can you not tell me as a friend what it was like?"

"It is wonderful, miss." Lily looked at her feet and blushed.

"Who is he?" Beth asked and smiled.

"The gardener, miss."

"Oh, that young, dashing young man!" Beth said. "Are you engaged?"

"Well, miss, we don't have the money yet, but we will be married when we can." Lily said.

"And it is wonderful?" Beth called to Lily as she exited the room.

"Yes, miss. Wonderful." Lily closed the door behind her and Beth stared at herself in the mirror and talked to herself.

"This must not be love then, because it has never been really wonderful." Beth told her reflection, thinking of Richard. "But then, I have not known him for very long." Beth frowned and made a face at herself in the mirror. She then remembered that Lady Catherine wished to speak to her about the arrangements of the ball again, and then she was due at the Bingleys' for tea, chatter, and more of Richard's attentions.

That evening at the Bingleys'...

"Is Richard not here this evening, Mrs. Darcy?" Beth asked as she greeted her and Mr. Darcy.

"No, he is at home studying." Elizabeth watched carefully for Beth's reaction to this but, seeing no signs but a little disappointment, was not concerned for her.

Beth was disappointed, but not as much as she had thought she would be. She chatted with the Bingleys, and enjoyed their company for the rest of the evening. She did not speak with Peter Nether at all that evening, except for a greeting, but she found that he often looked in her direction, as if wanting to talk to her again about books and music and Europe. These topics were not uninteresting, but he had so many things to tell, and Beth so few things to say that it seemed to make the conversation completely one-sided. There were no young people except for themselves, and so they both wished for a little more lively company. Beth, however, found his watching her unnerving, and was glad when she departed that evening.

"Did you have a pleasant evening, miss?"

"Rather, but there was no one my age to talk to."

"You are seventeen now, am I correct, Miss?"

"Yes, my birthday was last week." Beth said as she slipped into her nightgown and lay in the bed.

"Good night, miss." Lily said and left the room.

"Good night, Lily!" Beth called after her and rolled over in bed.

Beth slept until about two o'clock in the morning. At that time she was awakened from a noise outside. It was a loud, wailing sound, and Beth could not tell if it was human or animal. She rose from her bed and looked out the window. The moon was full but clouds surrounded it like a blanket and it looked as if a ring of light circled it. Beth thought it looked haunting, and the sound of the wind howling outside her window gave her shivers up and down her spin. As she saw nothing out of the window, and the noise did not start again, she went back to bed and fell asleep.

Chapter 14A

Posted on Wednesday, 24 November 1999

Beth walked in the garden the next day, breathing in the crisp, late December morning air. Beth walked fast, and was glad for a relief from the house if only for a short while.

Beth stopped in her footsteps when she heard a sound coming from near the wall that surrounded Lady Catherine's town house. She walked towards the sound and searched around the area for what could have made it. She found nothing however, but was not satisfied with her search, as after a few minutes she heard the noise again! She hurried out of the garden and onto the sidewalk of the street. She walked around the wall near the garden when she saw what she had been searching for.

A rough box was sitting on the street right next to the garden wall. Beth did not know why no one had moved it or paid attention to it. Perhaps that was because it was right next to a servant's door leading into the garden, and someone had thought it belonged to the gardener and he was going to pick it up. Beth knelt beside it and looked inside.

"Oh!" she exclaimed when she saw a tiny, bedraggled kitten huddled in a corner. A piece of paper folded up was laid on the bottom box. She picked it up gingerly, for the paper was very dirty. Inside was scrawled a message in a childish or unlearned hand:

Ples, the kity ned a hom

Beth stuck the paper inside her pocket as she reached inside for the kitten. She scooped it into her arms. The kitten was shaking. Beth couldn't tell if it was from cold, or fright. She jumped when she heard a voice behind her saying:

"Miss Bennet! What are you doing kneeling on the street with a scraggly kitten in your hands?"

Beth whirled around to find herself face to face with Peter Nether's eyes dancing with mirth!

"Oh - well, I was just...that is to say...I found it!" Beth stammered.

"Miss Bennet, do you have any idea how to take care of a cat?" Peter challenged. Beth opened her mouth, and then paused. Peter grinned. "I thought not. Now, shall we go inside your house, or shall you come and pay a visit to the Inn where I'm staying across the street?"

"I wouldn't be proper for me to -"

"Visit my place unaccompanied, I forgot. So, lead the way." Peter's eyes twinkled at Beth's obvious discomfort.

"But Lady Catherine will most likely disapprove."

"Lady Catherine de Bourgh is not at home, miss. She left a few minutes ago, and you are lucky that she did not drive her carriage around this way." Peter explained. Beth reluctantly led him through the gate and announced his presence to the housekeeper.

"I will not be here long ma'am." Peter said, "only Miss Bennet needs a little help seeing that the kitten she found on the street is well taken care of. I happen to be an expert on such matters..."

The housekeeper let him in, and led them into the kitchen, where they would have easy excess to water. Peter and Beth cleaned the kitten up themselves, and then, after the kitten was wrapped up in towels and blankets, Beth saw Mr. Nether out of the house.

"Be sure to feed it whenever it meows." Peter instructed her after stepping out of the house and lingering a few minutes on the doorsteps.

"Goodbye, Mr. Nether." Beth said, wishing that he had left sooner.

"Goodbye, Miss Bennet." He said and left.

That evening...

"Are you almost ready, Miss?" Lily asked Beth as she came in the room.

"Ready for what?"

"Mrs. Hall's party!"

"Oh, another one!" Beth groaned, and instructed Lily to help her choose a pretty dress for her to wear.

"Perhaps you shall see Mrs. York again, miss." Lily said.

"Yes, that will be nice." Beth said, as she finished changing headed out of the door. "Watch the kitten for me, Lily." She said, and left.

At the Hall's...

Beth entered the parlor where friends were assembled. This was beginning to be very familiar. No one new was ever invited to her parties. The Darcy's were there; even Richard had been able to come. The Bingleys', the Gardiners'. All of the people she knew! This time however, Peter Nether was also at the party.

Richard and Peter avoided each other constantly. Though neither of them confessed it they had a competition going on.

"Miss Bennet?" Mrs. Hall approached Beth a few minutes after she arrived. "Dear Beth, would you be so kind as to help Mother downstairs? She wanted to come down this evening, but will have no one but you to help her on the stairs. She has been rather weak these past few days."

"I should be very happy to help Mrs. York, ma'am. I'll go to her room now." Beth answered, and left the room with Richard's eyes keenly following hers.

Beth knocked softly on Mrs. York's door. "May I enter?" she called softly.

"Yes, come in dear Beth!" Mrs. York called cheerfully. "I am feeling rather well this evening, and should like to join the party. I hear a handsome young man has joined the party this evening."

"Yes..." Beth said slowly.

"And Richard is here as well?"

"Yes."

"I have great interest in seeing them both." Mrs. York said, her eyes twinkling as she smiled slyly at Beth, who would not meet her gaze as she took her arm and the walked slowly out of the room. "Tell me, what is this young man like?"

"He is a great musician."

"Is that all?" Mrs. York prodded, unsatisfied with her answer.

"You will soon see him, Grandmother." Beth said and held Mrs. York's arm more firmly as they went down the steps.

"Ah here you are, Mother!" Mrs. Hall cried when they entered the room. Everyone turned their heads in their direction. "Mother, you know everyone except for our great friend, Mr. A. Peter Nether."

Peter approached them and bowed. Mrs. York looked dazed. The room was hot and stuffy from so many people in one space.

"And what does the 'A' stand for?" Mrs. York asked, her eyes bright, but Beth wasn't sure if it was from excitement.

"Alexander, after my grandfather, ma'am. But I have a cousin named that already, and so I am called Peter."

"How interesting." Mrs. York said, and grasped Beth's arm more tightly. "I want to sit down. I am feeling very tired." Beth helped her into a seat, and then walked over to where Richard was sitting to talk to him.

The evening dragged on rather slowly. Beth talked with Richard, but was very distracted by Mrs. York, who was looking badly and got worse as the evening progressed. Beth rose from her seat and advanced towards her after a while.

"Come, Mrs. York I don't think this stuffy room is good for you - " Beth began.

"Alex!" Mrs. York cried, grabbing Peter's arm, who was sitting next to her. "Solodkov! Where is Rose? I want Rose!" she cried and tears began raining down her cheeks.

"I am not he! And what Rose?" Peter exclaimed, trying to escape from the old woman's clutching.

"My sister! Oh, what have you done with her? Why did you take her away?"

"Mrs. Rose Solodkov?" Mrs. York nodded with tears in her eyes. "But my grandmother is in Russia." Peter said.

Beth cried out in astonishment and horror as Mrs. York gasped and collapsed onto the floor.

Chapter 14B

Posted on Wednesday, 1 December 1999

"Oh Mrs. York!" Beth cried and shook the old woman on the floor.

"Don't to do that!" Peter cried and pushed Beth, who was sobbing, away from her. Everyone else was frozen, not knowing what to do nor what had really happened.

Peter gently lifted Mrs. York up and asked where her room was. Mrs. Hall, who in her life had not done very much except good deeds and bustling, bustled over to Peter and bustled her way out of the room to show him the direction. Beth followed.

In Mrs. York's room, Mrs. Hall fussed and made quite a mess of things in her concern. At last, in exasperation, Peter told her that the best thing to do was to fetch a doctor. Mrs. Hall agreed and hurried out of the room to inform her guests that her mother was alive and that they should all calm down and drink their tea.

Peter pulled up a chair next to Mrs. York's bedside and sat down. Beth crept towards them and walked around the other side of the bed to take Mrs. York's hand. Peter started at her movements. She tried to smile at him but couldn't manage it.

"Is she dying?" Beth asked uncertainly.

"Oh no!" Peter cried. "She has fainted, that's all. For a woman her age that isn't very good, but she will not die!"

"You seem to be an expert at everything. There is nothing you can't do better than anyone else. You even nurse sick people." Beth said quietly, and Peter looked at her in a queer way. Beth managed a smile but her eyes filled with tears after a second. He had blue eyes! She put her free hand up to her face and cried quietly.

Before she knew it Peter was next to her and had put a comforting arm around her. She wanted to lean against him, wanted a friend to hold her, but did not really want that friend to be Peter Nether. She shrugged her shoulders and wiped her eyes. Peter let his arm drop and then walked swiftly back to the chair, avoiding her eyes.

"How do -- , no, how is Mrs. Solodkov, your grandmother?" Beth asked quietly.

"My mother, the youngest of the Solodkov's, married my father's best friend's son, Mr. Nether. I am their youngest son."

"I see." Beth now remembered; Mr. John Nether -- the man whose last name Rose couldn't remember. His son had married Rose's daughter, and Peter was their youngest son. Rose! "Is Mrs. Solodkov still alive?" Beth whispered.

"Why wouldn't she be?" Peter said casually, and then sobered when he saw the seriousness on her face. "You thought she was dead?" Beth did not answer and Peter was about to say something when Mrs. York's eyes flew open and she sat up.

"Are you alright, Mrs. York?" Peter asked. She looked at him hard.

"You are...?" She asked.

"I am Alexander Peter Nether. Call me Peter."

"I could never call you Peter, young man. You are so much like him." Mrs. York sat up and took his face between her hands. She studied it for a few minutes and shook her head. "No, I see other people in you, too. You have Rose's wavy brown hair, but your nose is different and other things are different. I can see that you are a Nether, but you still look so much like..."

"I know, ma'am. Mother always said I look like my grandfather. She said I have his eyes." Mrs. York nodded.

"Beth?" Mrs. York called to her.

"Yes, Grandmother?"

"Would you mind if I talked with Young Alexander for a little while? Besides, people downstairs will be wondering what happened..."

Beth rose from her seat and left the room, bumping into the doctor as he was walking toward the room with Mrs. Hall. Beth felt rather dejected. Mrs. York wished her out of the room so that she could speak to Peter about Rose and how she was doing. Well, Beth wished to know what had happened as well! Then, with a sinking feeling, Beth realized something: Solodkov was no more. Hadn't Peter been mourning the loss of his grandfather who had died six years ago? But then she pushed it out of her mind. It could have been another grandfather.

"Here you are, Beth!" Richard smiled at her when she entered the room. "How is Mrs. York?"

"She is a little better. She is awake and now the doctor is here and everything will be well, I'm sure."

"I do hope so! And what was all the nonsense about a Mr. Solodkov and Rose?" Richard asked curiously.

"Oh nothing, really. Just some people she knew a long time ago. She'll tell you about them some day, I believe." Beth said, avoiding Richard's eyes. She kept silent for the rest of the evening.

That night, after she had gone home, Beth wondered whose company she more preferred; Richard's or Peter's...? For some strange reason, now knowing that he was Solodkov and Rose's son made him seem more attractive. The thought that Beth was being absolutely ridiculous kept her awake late into the night. On top of all this, her kitty layed on her chest and purred extremely loudly almost all night.

Chapter 15A

Posted on Thursday, 2 December 1999

"Lady Catherine, you wished to see me?" Beth asked as she entered Lady Catherine's room timidly.

"Yes." Lady Catherine sneezed violently. "I wish to say that unless my heath improves it will be impossible for me to have your ball in a few days."

"Illness? I had no idea of your being ill." Beth said. Lady Catherine sneezed again and held a lace handkerchief up to her nose.

"I seem to be having sensitivities of some kind...the trouble is that I can find no reason for me having them at this time of year. There is no hay and grassy flowers about, and no animals in this house --"

"Did you say no animals?" Beth asked, her voice shaky, "Are you sensitive to animals?"

"Rodents, and birds, but especially cats." Beth's eyes grew wide. "Why do you look so frightened, child?"

"Well, perhaps there was a cat in this house..." Beth tried not to stare at the rash on Lady Catherine's face.

"A cat? But that is impossible! Why would anyone bring a cat into this house?" Lady Catherine almost shouted.

"But I -- I didn't know that you were allergic to cats!" Beth whispered and wished that the floor would swallow her up.

She now knew what the matter was with Lady Catherine. She was having a thing called allergies. She had heard of it from a doctor.

"You brought a cat in this house?" Lady Catherine screeched.

"Yes, I did. But I had no notion of you being allergic to them..." Beth said.

Lady Catherine ranted and scolded her for over thirty minutes. She then ordered the cat thrown out of the house immediately. Beth begged her to be a little kinder, but to no avail. The cat had to go, and Beth was appointed over-seer of this cruel event. She was to personally see that the poor kitten, which Beth had christened 'Charlotte' after her mother, was gotten rid of.

Beth scooped 'Lotte', (as she called her), into her arms and walked outside with her. She did not know where to take her. She walked along the street and eventually strayed into the park near Lady Catherine's house.

The garden was beautiful in summer and in winter it did not seem to be dreary. Beth enjoyed walking to the park whenever she could, but today she did not feel in good spirits. She walked slowly, her head bowed as she looked intently at the kitten, trying to memorize forever what she looked like. Lotte was so happy and content snuggled in a warm scarf that Beth had put around her and was carrying now. She was purring and looked lovingly up at Beth with her green eyes. With her gloved hand Beth caressed Lotte's black head, and then her white tipped paws. Beth thought she was acting childishly, but she could not help feeling ... heartbroken at the thought of abandoning Lotte. Beth sighed and walked slower, not paying any attention to where she was going until she bumped into someone!

"Oh, I am so sorry!" Beth said and was moving her way around the person when she heard a familiar voice chuckling; a deep, masculine voice.

She whirled around. The gentleman bowed and tipped his hat. "Good afternoon, Miss Bennet."

"Hello, Mr. Nether. What brings you to this part of the town?" Beth stammered.

"I live in this part of the town for the present. I have just moved to an inn not too far away from where you're staying." Beth remembered him having mentioned it once.

"How is the kitten faring?" Peter asked, and Beth's eyes filled with tears.

"I have to get rid of her." Beth said, keeping her voice as steady as she could.

Beth could see that Peter was unnerved at the sight of her swimming eyes, but he tried to stay cheerful.

"And why the gloomy face?"

"I do not want to get rid of it." Beth said.

"But why get rid of it?"

"Lady Catherine is allergic to cats." Beth said and looked down at the fur and scarf ball in her arms. Peter stifled a laugh.

"Had she broken out in spots?" he joked, and couldn't help laughing out loud when Beth nodded solemnly. "Well, do not be upset. There is only one course of action available to you..."

"And that is?" Beth encouraged.

"To let me take care of the cat. You would not lose it as we will be in the same company often..."

"We will?" Beth asked and began to feel much better.

"Oh yes," Peter said casually. "I have a few people I should like you to meet, and I'm sure they'll want you over to visit them often."

"But I shall not have much free time for social calls."

"And what will keep you so busy, if I may ask?" Peter's teasing eyes twinkled at her playfully.

"I'm busy with plans for my ball." Peter lifted his hat off his head and bowed at this.

"I beg your forgiveness, miss. I had forgotten that you were 'coming out' and would have more important things to do than make social calls from now on. Did you know that I am invited to your coming out ball as well?" he said and smiled at the astonished look on her face.

"Who invited you?" she asked, and then was sorry for having said this cold and rudely.

"Lady Catherine de Bourgh herself. Didn't you know that I, myself, am not unconnected in this country? I am to inherit a nice estate from a relative. Lady Catherine does not think I am a bad match for a young lady; rather the reverse, a favorable prospect." Peter said jokingly and absent-mindedly.

Beth's cheeks burned and she thrust the kitten into his arms so that he would not see her scarlet cheeks. She then said good day and hurried in the direction of home. Peter watched her hasty retreat and wondered, (not for the first time), what her real feelings towards him were. While opening the gate to the town house Beth wondered the same thing.

Chapter 15B

Posted on Tuesday, 7 December 1999

"I have decided exactly what we are going to do about your ball, Beth." Lady Catherine said to her two days later.

"I was under the impression that we already had everything worked out." Beth said as she took a sip of her drink while they were eating breakfast.

"Oh no! I had not quite decided what I was exactly going to do. The evening before your ball we will have a dinner. Then the next day will be your ball and presentation with a huge feast." Lady Catherine explained.

"And have we gone over the guest list?" Beth asked, remembering what Peter had said about his also being invited.

"I have that all worked out. You need not bother yourself about it." Beth looked at her plate and continued eating.

Lady Catherine was quite recovered from her attack of allergies. She was up and about again and was feeling extremely well. The ball was going on as it had been planned and would take place in one week on January the 12.

Beth put on her wraps and went for a walk. These walks had almost become daily. She needed some way to escape Lady Catherine. All she ever did was talk about her ball and tell her to marry the wealthiest man; and how she would help find Beth a good man. Beth knew perfectly well that she meant that Lady Catherine would choose the man she would marry, and she did not like that idea at all.

Beth walked in the park again, hoping to see Peter so that she might learn of how the kitten was doing. Instead, she met Richard Darcy!

"Hello Richard!" she called cheerfully.

"Good day, Miss Bennet. How are you this morning?"

"I'm very well, thank you, Mr. Darcy." Beth answered as they began walking together.

"I was actually walking around here in hopes that I would meet you. I have a few things to tell you."

"Oh, really?" Beth asked, trying to stay calm, but her heart felt fluttery.

"I make for Cambridge next year." He began.

"That is wonderful news!" Beth encouraged.

"Yes, well...I was wondering if..." he trailed off and looked into her eyes.

"If what?" Beth asked, and he grasped her hands, squeezing them hard.

Beth thought she would have loved to he held by Richard Darcy, heir to Pemberley, but now she found that she didn't like it as he tried to draw her close to him. She pulled away from him.

"No, Richard." She whispered. "It wouldn't work." He did not look at her.

"I thought you would say that." He said bitterly.

"Richard, you're going to meet someone else who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. This childish fancy will pass." Beth whispered to him.

"I knew..."

"What do you mean?"

"I knew you would say that because you're in love with that Russian!" Richard cried.

"In love with a Russian?"

"Yes, that man Nether!"

"Me in love with him?" Beth exclaimed in astonishment.

"Yes, with him. I see it when you watch him. The way you watch him, talk to him as if you were...I can't explain it."

"You're mistaken! I'm not in love with Mr. Nether, nor am I in love with you!" Beth cried. Richard moved away from her.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"I am too." He said and then raised his head. "But I'd still like to be friends. Can we still be friends?" he asked, childishly hopeful.

"I would be honored if you would still be willing to be my friend." Beth said, and he offered her his arm. She took it and he walked her back towards her house.

"I don't think you'd better come any farther. Lady Catherine does not like you and would not be happy if she saw you with me."

Richard left and Beth went home. What neither of them knew was that Peter had been watching them from his window on the other side of the street, had seen them embrace, then walk arm in arm and part. He had not heard any of the conversation, of course, and so was extremely disturbed and wondered what had happened between Richard and Beth.

Chapter 16A

Posted on Sunday, 12 December 1999

Beth fluttered around her room, trying to calm herself. Lily was trying to help her with her hair but Beth wouldn't keep still enough to let her do much of anything.

"Miss, if you do not keep still, I cannot do my job properly." Lily said.

"I'm sorry, Lily." Beth sat obediently. "But tonight is the dinner party and tomorrow the ball and I'm so nervous."

"You needn't be, Miss." Lily said as she arranged a small flower in her hair. "You're a very pretty girl, miss, and you've nothing to be afraid of. Everyone will think you're wonderfully pretty and everyone will love you because you're a wonderful person. There, miss. I'm finished now. So go on downstairs and meet your guests." Lily said, nudging Beth out the door a bit.

Beth turned and looked at her. "You're the best friend I've ever had, Lily." She said sincerely. Lily moved her towards the door without answering. Beth walked down the hall and grand stairs.

'Indeed, Lily mused, 'It was beginning to seem as if she were not a servant and Beth the mistress. They had become friends of sorts.' she sighed and traveled down to the kitchen.

"You must tell me everything that goes on up there, May." Lily pleaded.

"I will. But don't you think Miss Bennet will tell you everything anyhow?" May winked at her and took the tray she was carrying upstairs to where everyone was eating dinner. She served the food on the tray and then, having been given more orders, went back down to the kitchen.

"So? Is she alright?" Lily prodded May.

"She looks nervous. Hey Charlie! The fellows up there need more wine!" May shouted at a passing young servant.

"More wine?" Lily asked.

"Some of the gentlemen up there may be rich, but I wouldn't call all of them people with morals." May said as she was handed another tray and left the kitchen.

Beth watched the guests around her drinking and laughing and talking. She watched as some of the men drank more then was good for them and saw their spirits become unusually high. Lady Catherine was smiling at her from across the table. Beth weakly smiled back. She was unhappy, bored and nervous.

She watched Peter out of the corner of her eye for almost the entire evening. He seemed to be enjoying himself sitting next to a blonde-haired beauty - a member of his party. She sipped a bit of her drink nervously as he laughed at something she said. The table was long and Beth couldn't hear a word they were saying. All she knew was that Peter Nether was watching the woman with admiration and fondness, listening attentively to every word she said and Beth thought this very rude, considering that the party was being thrown in her honor!

Lady Catherine made a speech later on in the evening about all of Beth's good qualities, (basically saying that she would be a good wife). Beth was embarrassed by her speech and sat quietly in her chair until it was time for the guests leave.

That night, Beth lay in her bed late into the night. She rolled around in the huge bed trying to fall asleep. She never before had wished that she was not alone in the room. She wanted someone with her, even if it was only her kitten.

Beth tried to think of the good points about the dinner. She could think of none. Only half of the list had been present for the dinner - the ones Lady Catherine had thought the best prospects. The Darcy's had not been present as Beth had wished they would be. None of the people she was acquainted with had been present! Beth sighed.

She thought of Peter. He had been there but he had not spoken one word (except a cordial greeting) the whole evening. He had placed all of his attention on that girl.

Beth tried to remember her name, but couldn't. She had been introduced to many people that evening, even if it was only half of the guest list, and could hardly remember the names of any of them. She remembered the beautiful figure of the girl, her shiny blonde hair and beautiful face. She had everything beautiful that Beth now wished she had. But why? Beth wondered why she was so upset. Why was she wishing that she was as beautiful as the woman with Peter? Beth got up from her bed and lit the candle. She went over the mirror and studied her face intently.

Shy blue eyes stared at her from a pretty face. Her black hair was wavy, long and beautiful. Beth was a beautiful woman. She, however, saw her hair as an unfashionable color; wavy hair was not stylish, curly hair was. And sky blue eyes just didn't go with her hair.

Beth felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She brushed it away quickly and hit the dressing table angrily. She was a fool - crying over her looks; crying because she wanted to be as pretty at the woman Peter admired; crying for stupid reasons. She blew out the candle and sat in bed, trying to pinpoint the thing she was not admitting to herself, whatever it was that made her so upset.

Suddenly it hit her like an arrow. She was in love with Peter! Beth held her hands up to her face. And now he was in love with someone else. She began crying again - realizing that she was envious; envious of the woman he admired instead of her.

Chapter 16B

Posted on Sunday, 12 December 1999

"Good morning, Miss!" Lily said cheerfully as she opened wide the curtains in Beth's room. Beth opened her eyes but didn't make any attempt to get up. "Why, Miss!" Lily said, coming over to the bed and sitting down next to it. "Are you unwell?"

Beth sat up unhappily. "I'm feeling very poor in spirit. Tell me, Lily, what do you do when you are feeling low?"

"Well - I...never did feel very poorly myself, Miss."

"What do you do to cheer yourself up after a scolding?" Beth asked, hoping for some advice that might help lift the weight on her heart that morning.

"These days I usually confide in my dear fiancée and he helps me cheer up." Lily answered shyly.

Beth groaned and lay back down on the pillows, burying her head in it. Everything was going wrong! Everything in life seemed to revolve around Peter at the moment. Since she knew that he did not care about her, life was horrible. Beth tried to tell herself that her faith in God still helped, that Jesus still loved her that everything was alright because of that. This time, however, she didn't feel much better.

"What is the matter, Miss?" Lily asked.

"Oh, nothing, but everything is all wrong." Beth said and got up. "Help me get ready. I need to go down to eat breakfast."

"I would suggest you wash your face. It seems to be a little red and your eyes are rather puffy. Have you been crying, miss?" Lily asked, almost forgetting her place as servant.

"Just get me into a dress." Beth snapped, feeling in no mood for sympathy.

Lily obeyed, feeling hurt and unneeded. Beth saw that she had hurt her but made no attempt to make it up. If she was feeling miserable why shouldn't Lily, who hadn't had much pain in her life, feel some of the agony Beth was going through?

Beth's door was knocked on and then, without waiting for a reply, Lady Catherine opened the door and walked in.

"I assume that you are ready, Miss Bennet?" Lady Catherine said. "It's almost time to go down."

"Yes, Lady Catherine."

"Before you go, I would like to present you with this..." Lady Catherine held up a silver ring with a single, tiny diamond set in the middle. Beth gasped. It was beautiful!

"It's wonderful ma'am!"

"It's not very decorated, but it was presented to my great great grandmother when she came out. I want you to have it." Lady Catherine said rather gruffly.

"But...but why wasn't this given to Anne?" Beth asked as she slipped the ring on her right hand ring finger.

"Anne did not want it. Besides, she has a different ring that was also a family treasure, but was more decorated and expensive. The ring is yours." Lady Catherine said and then left the room.

Beth watched her leave, touched by the kindness of Lady Catherine. She fingered the ring, took a last look in the mirror and went down stairs to see if any guests had arrived for the ball.

The dancing had begun. Beth was claimed by many gentlemen for dances but took no pleasure in their admiration. She continually searched the ballroom for Peter, but never seemed to see him. She did however, after the first half hour of the ball, spot Mr. and Mrs. Darcy!

"I'm so glad you could make it!" Beth said as she came up to them and took hold of Mrs. Darcy's hands.

"I am as well, but I am not sure Lady Catherine will enjoy it." Elizabeth answered and kissed Beth on the cheek.

"I don't know where she is at the moment." Beth said, glancing at Darcy who was shifting nervously at the thought of meeting his Aunt after fourteen years of separation.

"You look tired, Beth. Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked, searching Beth's eyes.

"Everyone has been asking me that! Well, perhaps not everyone...but Lily asked the same thing this morning and now you. Do I look ill?" Beth said.

"You look lovely, but I observe that you are not as cheerful this evening as you usually are. Has something happened?"

"Well --" Beth began but was confronted by Lady Catherine coming up behind her and grabbing hold of her arm tightly.

"What is the meaning of this, may I ask?" she hissed. Beth turned as best as she could to face Lady Catherine.

"Oh, these were friends of my mother, and Mrs. Darcy is the cousin of my father. They are family and have come to my ball." Beth said stiffly, gesturing towards the Darcys. They bowed (or curtsied) graciously.

"But you didn't ask my permission!" Lady Catherine raised her voice. Beth forgot about the rare kindness Lady Catherine had shown her earlier that day when she presented her with the ring.

"You said that -"

"You didn't ask!" Lady Catherine was beginning to shout.

"Don't make a scene!" Beth cried. "It's my ball and I may invite whomever I wish to invite!"

Lady Catherine regained her composure. "Very well. Nephew, you will instantly leave this room and take that woman with you."

"Lady Catherine! People are beginning to stare! If you throw them out they will never respect you!" Beth cried, desperately wishing for them to stay. Lady Catherine looked around the room, seeing that people were beginning to observe the episode. She drew herself up.

"You are very welcome, Mr. Darcy. I am - " she paused, " - so glad that you could come." Lady Catherine then turned swiftly and left the room for the time being. The Darcys and Beth sighed.

"I'm so sorry, Beth. I am now afraid that you have made a permanent enemy of her." Elizabeth said.

"I was never great friends with her." Beth said, "And besides, I'd rather have you here with me than her. I'm glad you could come."

"It is a great honor, Miss Bennet." Darcy said, and smiled.

Beth felt wonderful inside for the first time that evening. Even Mr. Darcy was nice to her! He smiled at her! She looked at the Darcys looking around the ballroom and decided that, if she had a choice, these two would be the helpful parents she had never really had. She already looked up to them for guidance, and now was almost certain that they, or at least Mrs. Darcy, cared for her as much as she did them. It was a wonderful feeling - people caring for and loving her. Beth hadn't felt it since the death of her mother three years ago.

Beth's good feelings were suddenly crushed by the sound of his voice behind her. She did not turn for a few minutes, until he called her name again. She had to face him as if she felt nothing! She turned around with a smiled pasted on her face.

"Hello, Mr. Nether."

"Good evening, Miss Bennet." He said, and took the arm of a woman beside him. Beth recognized her immediately as the woman he admired. "I believe you've already met Miss Field."

The woman smiled at Beth. Beth's eyes didn't meet hers, but they stared over her shoulder. "Yes, we have met, I believe." She said as pleasantly as she could.

"It's so nice to see you again, Miss Bennet. I've heard much of you." Beth was forced to look into the woman's brown eyes.

"Indeed?" Beth said, raising her eyebrows. About her? "From whom?" she asked aloud.

"Oh from -" the woman began,(ncn) but was cut off sharply by Peter.

"Shall we dance, Alice?" she looked angry, but he quickly bowed and practically dragged her away from where Beth was standing.

She watched him go and felt her eyes filling up with tears. If Alice had been a nasty, selfish girl, Beth would have had a little more comfort in knowing that Peter had chosen a mean girl instead of herself. But since she was a nice girl with wonderful manners and an obviously kind heart, Beth was in a state of confusion. She had wanted to hate the woman he admired, but now she felt as if that was impossible to do.

Beth was soon claimed for other dances with gentlemen and another half-hour of the evening passed by swiftly. By this time Beth was again feeling tired and rather miserable. She was separated from the Darcys and was unable to find them - most likely because of the crowd of people in the room. She was also beginning to feel feverish from the heat in the ballroom, and exhausted from dancing, (which made her even hotter). The fan that she had wasn't doing much except blow hot air onto her, and Beth decided to take a breath of fresh air on the balcony.

Beth finished her last dance and then escaped from the room without being noticed by any other gentleman wishing to dance. She would not be out long, but long enough for her to be cooled off. She ran into a room next to the ball room and slipped out onto the balcony from there.

She had not expected the air to be so cold, but the January chilliness felt good to Beth and she stood looking at the stars for a few minutes until she grew cold. She rubbed her arms and stamped her feet, not wishing to go inside for a few more minutes. She wished that she had been clever enough to think of bringing a shawl.

"What are you doing out in the cold, Miss Bennet?" a voice softly said behind her. She did not turn around as she knew who it was.

"I can stand out in the cold if I wish to, Mr. Nether." She said.

"You shall catch your death of cold, come inside at once!" he insisted and took hold of her arm. She yanked it away.

"Very well then, I shall die." She said, telling herself that she was not cold at all.

"Miss Bennet..." he said.

"I will not g-go insid-de." Beth's teeth chattered, betraying how cold she was. However, she looked at Peter defiantly. She expected to see a light of triumph in his eyes at the realization that she really was cold, but she only saw concern.

"Then shall I get you a shawl?" Beth nodded consent and he left for a few minutes, returning soon with a warm one. He silently handed her the shawl.

"Where did you get this? It is not mine." Beth said, holding the shawl in one hand.

"No, it is Alice's." Beth wanted to drop it.

"Take it back then, I'm going inside." She whispered and started to go past him. He stopped her by taking hold of her arm again.

"What's the matter with Alice?" he asked.

"Nothing." She lied.

"Something must be the matter with her or you wouldn't be acting this way about her. I asked her if she would let you borrow her shawl since I didn't know where to get one of yours. I thought you two would get along splendidly." He said, trying to catch her eye.

"You wanted me to go in, and now you want me to stay out." Beth said, not wishing to speak any more with him and tried to pull from his grasp again, almost succeeding, but he still had hold of her right hand.

"Tell me why you don't like her." He urged.

"No reason."

"Don't lie to me, Miss Bennet." He said, and seeing that she wouldn't look at him, he stared at her hand for a few minutes.

Beth stood silently, looking at the door. She didn't want to answer because that would mean telling him of her feelings for him. She suddenly realized that he was being very quiet and they had been standing silently for some minutes. She turned her head to look at him. He was intent on her hand, not noticing that at last she was looking at him. He suddenly let go of her hand, as if it had bit him, and turned away from her.

Beth thought that she should leave now, it was her chance, but she didn't. She walked to where he was standing and stood next to him.

"What is it you want, Miss Bennet?' he asked coldly.

"Here is the shawl. Tell Miss Field I am thankful for her generosity." She handed it to him. He took it and looked at her hand - no at her ring!

"I will tell her that, Miss Bennet. And may I wish you every happiness?" Ah, now I see your reason for the 'hand' question.

"What?"

"In your marriage to Mr. Richard Darcy." He said, avoiding her eyes. Beth drew her eyebrows together in confusion.

"I'm engaged to Richard?" she asked. He took her hand and pointed at the ring on it.

"It's a pretty ring he gave you. I'm sure you will be happy." He said and then turned away from her. Beth's mind whirled in confusion. He thought she was to marry...?

"Why would you think that because I'm wearing a ring, I am engaged?"

"Because you are wearing it on your right hand." He answered.

"But you only wear engagement rings on your left hand. This was a gift to me from Lady Catherine." Beth asked, trying to make him understand.

"But -" he turned and faced her, and then his eyes widened.

"Then you're not engaged?" Beth wanted to laugh.

"No, indeed!" she said. "Are you?" she then added in a whisper.

"Me? To whom?" it was now Peter's turn to be confused.

"To Miss Field."

"To Alice? Why would I want to marry my cousin?" he asked, sounding rather appalled and amused at the idea. "We're friends, not lovers!" he chuckled, but then became serious as Beth turned from him and put a hand up to stop the tears from flowing. They were only cousins! "Don't cry!" he said and pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, handing it to her.

"It's just I -I -" Beth couldn't speak. "It was such a misunderstanding!" she cried. "You thought I...and I thought you were engaged..." she trailed off. He lifted his hand to her cheek and brushed off her tears gently. She tried to pull herself together. She stopped crying soon and he took back his handkerchief.

"Shall we go back in? I'm sure everyone is wondering what happened to you." He offered her his arm, which she took, and they walked back inside and into the ballroom.

"Ah - I see that the dancing has not finished. Will you dance the next two with me, Miss Bennet?" he asked. She nodded and put on a smile.

He was acting happily now, and being very attentive to her. As they passed Alice he winked at her as if the two shared a secret, or had thought up a plan that was going well. He led her onto the dance floor and the dance began. It finished, then the next one passed quickly. For the rest of the evening he was near her and talking to her. Did it mean something? Could it mean that he loved her as much as she did him?

"Miss Bennet?" Peter asked as the ball was drawing to the end. "May I speak to you a minute?" she nodded consent and he led her to a quiet part of the room.

"I was just wondering if you would like another ring?" Beth laughed, having recovered from a sign of hope that perhaps...

"And who would give it to me?" she asked, smiling.

"If I should? For your other hand..." he said seriously.

"All right. I should like another ring. What does it look like?" she asked, looking into his beautiful eyes. He took her hand and it slipped over her left-hand ring finger. She looked down at it, a golden band with two pearls and a diamond set in it. All of the jewels were small, but beautiful.

"I should like to have it." She whispered and he took hold of her other hand.

"It's yours forever." He whispered back. "I love you, Beth. I want you to be with me always."

"I love you too." She answered. He smiled at her and then led her back onto the dance floor for the last song.

Epilogue

Posted on Tuesday, 14 December 1999

10 months after previous chapter...

Beth rubbed her cat Lotte's back as she purred loudly on her chest and glanced over at her husband laying in the bed beside her early in the morning. They had been married for eight months. He stretched and sat up.

"Morning, Beth."

"Good morning, Peter." She smiled up at him.

"We've got to get up!" he yawned, but made no effort to get up. Beth got out of bed and put on her robe. She went over to the window and looked outside.

"I still don't understand how Netherfield is yours. It's almost unbelievable!" she said.

"Don't you see the connection? Netherfield? Old Mr. Field died without an heir and I was the closest relative, besides his good friend, and he gave it to me. The Nethers and the Fields were always very close." Beth nodded.

"Oh, have you heard, Beth?" he asked.

"No, heard what?"

"That my grandmother is sailing here?" Beth's eyes opened wide.

"Your Grandmother Rose?" she gasped. Peter chuckled.

"I knew you would be surprised!"

"But a woman of eighty years old!" Beth cried.

"Oh, she'll be all right. Since Grandfather died she's been lonely. All of her children have moved to England for some reason. Except for her son, who lives on the estate there. But she has been wishing to see Elizabeth York ever since she got her letter. She ought to arrive soon."

"That's wonderful!" Beth cried and hugged him. "Do you think we should celebrate today and have breakfast served up here this morning?"

"What a wonderful idea!" Beth smiled and rung the bell for Lily.

She walked in and was ordered to bring the breakfast up, but only with the help of another servant girl. Peter had hired Lily from Lady Catherine which had enabled her to marry her gardener nine and a half months ago. She was now expecting and Beth wouldn't allow her to carry heavy things, even though she was only in her fifth month.

"Lily has been such a faithful servant and good friend to me! I'm so glad you hired her! And she is looking so well these days ..." Beth said as she looked at Lily's slightly swollen belly when she set down the trays and then left the room.

"She has, hasn't she?" Peter said absently as he sipped his tea, not noticing that Beth seemed nervous about something.

"Do you like children?" she asked quietly. He shrugged.

"Of course I like children!" He glanced up at her serious face as she sat down next to him. "Why do you ask?" he inquired, bewildered.

"Because in another eight months we are going to have one." His eyes widened.

"You mean..." He smiled as she nodded. "Well, I'm so pleased!" he cried as he kissed her.

"I was afraid you wouldn't be." She said when he finished.

"Well, let's eat now, I'm starving!" he cried. "And you must eat more too! I want you to be strong when our little one arrives!" he said happily.

Elizabeth York paced along the dock. Behind her stood the Darcys, the Nethers, and a few other relations. They were being kind and letting her be able to reach Rose first when she stepped off the gangplank, without them crowding her.

She squinted at the sun and then saw the ship coming. Her heart pounded and she felt light headed.

'There she is!' she thought.

The ship came in far too slowly for Elizabeth York's impatience. It was a beautiful ship, but more beautiful was the figure that Elizabeth was waiting for. She heard someone crying as the ship came in and the sailors prepared for the passengers to come off. She realized it was her own crying when she tasted the saltiness on her lips.

It was early in the day and fog was laying heavily on the earth like a blanket. Elizabeth couldn't see who was coming down first until the figure came near her. The woman had her white hair underneath a kerchief she was wearing over her head. It seemed like a lace sort of thing and framed the woman's face beautifully.

Elizabeth knew who it was when the woman came very close to her and she looked up into her face. It was old, wrinkled, but she saw the sharp eyes that were looking down at her; Rose's beautiful green eyes. Elizabeth saw that the eyes were swimming and then overflowing. Elizabeth reached out her hand to her and Rose took hold of it.

Neither of them spoke, but each knew what the other was saying.

'I love you. I missed you.'

"Welcome home, Rose." Elizabeth said, her voice breaking as Rose held her firmly in a long, beautiful embrace to make up for the years of separation.

'I love you, I missed you.' were the words that neither of the woman spoke while holding tightly on to each other. 'I love you...'

The End.

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