Foolish Games, Chapter One

Posted By: Susan Catherine <goose3222-JA-yahoo.com>
Date: Monday, 6 March 2006, at 1:18 p.m.

"Can you hear the bells are ringing/ far, far away?/ Can you hear the voices singing/ far, far away?/ I know that one day soon the song shall rise/ you'll hear it with the sleep still in your eyes"

- Far, Far Away by Five Iron Frenzy

May 2005

Jane walked slowly into the flat she shared with her sister. A small smile spread across her face, finally bursting out into a full-fledged goofy grin.
"Liz," Jane called, "Liz, where are you?"
"Just a second Jane, I'll be right out."
Liz emerged from the bathroom towel drying her long brown hair. She stopped short at the sight of Jane's grinning face. "Jane," Liz questioned, "what. . ." She abruptly broke off. "Oh my gosh, you're engaged! Charles proposed, didn't he?" Liz more demanded than questioned.

"Yes, oh, Liz! I'm so happy!" Jane reached out to hug her sister. "You must help me! I don't know how to tell Mom. Especially with the. . ." Jane trailed off, having lost her goofy grin for the moment.

"With what, Jane. . .Jane, you, you're not pregnant, are you??" Liz half-laughed as she questioned her elder sister, hoping she was jumping to a ridiculous conclusion.

"No, Liz, nothing, absolutely nothing like that. You know Charles is to go abroad for six months in November?" Liz nodded. "Well, he does not wish to leave without me, and truthfully I don't want him to either! So we're going to get married in October!"

"Well, Jane, I must say that you certainly have your work cut out for you! Good luck with Momma!" Here, Liz paused for effect, tricking Jane into half believing that she wouldn't have any help. "Of course, I'll do anything I can to help."

"Lizzie! Thank you! I knew you would! Oh, and of course you'll be my maid of honour just like we always planned right?"

Liz smiled as she told her dearest sister that she would, and she carefully concealed her tears as Jane hugged her, never noticing the pain in her eyes as the memories struck her.

Charles checked his watch. It was 10:30 here, so that meant it was. . .15:30 Will's time. Well, I ought to be able to reach him in his office still. He hurridly dialed Will's number in his London office and waited for Will's assistant to pick up.

"William Darcy's office," the crisp voice of Mrs. Reynolds answered the phone.

"Mrs. Reynolds, this is Charles Bingley, is Will available?"

"Hello, Mr. Bingley, how are you? I'll see if Mr. Darcy is available."

Charles smiled to himself as he waited for Will to come on the line. Mrs. Reynolds had always been a stickler for social niceties and old-fasioned propriety. . .probably why she seemed to disapprove of. . .

"Hello?" The clipped voice of William Darcy came across the line.

"Will, it's Charles. How've you been?"

"Fine. Look Charles, I'm very busy; could I phone you later?"

"This is important, Will and it'll only take a minute." - Charles paused and swallowed, suddenly nervous about telling his best friend. Better perhaps just to get it all over with. "Will, I'm getting married. I want you to be my best man." It all came out in a rush. There, I've said it, he thought to himself.

"What? When, who? Charles, slow down and start from the beginning."

"You remember my girlfriend, Jane, right?"

"Yes, you've mentioned her," Will replied, every time we speak, "but I've never met her."

"And you know how I need to go abroad in November. . ." Charles continued, oblivious to hid friend's response. "So, I found myself thinking how miserable I would be without her and how I didn't want to leave her. So I proposed and she accepted and we're getting married in October."

"Charles, isn't this a little sudden, shouldn't you take more time?" Will stalled unsure of what to say.

"Hardly, Will. We've been dating for a little over a year. Look just say you'll be my best man and arrange to fly yourself over here. Then you can meet her."

"Okay, Charles." Will said, seeing no other way to respond. "Look I can't get away this week, so how about next weekend?"

"That'd be great Will. Just perfect. I think we'll be having our engagement party then."

"Oh, and Charles, what's her last name? Just so I know how to greet her."

"Bennet" Will started. "Jane Bennett. Oops,got to run. She's on the other line. See you soon, Will"

"Yeah Charles, great." Will said dazidly to the already dead line. As he hung up the phone, Will puzzled over why the name Bennet was so framiliar. . .but not Jane, so Charles couldn't have mentioned it before. No, this was something from his past, something he couldn't quite grasp.

Will began to make arangement to fly to the states. For a while afterwards, he sat motionless at his desk, plunged into the past, trying to remember a Bennet, shaken by the similarities to another phone call. It had been two years since that last fateful day, that last phone call. He was still at his desk, unmoved, when Mrs. Reynolds came in twently minutes later to let him know he was later for a meeting.

"Comin' down the world turned over/ And Angels fall without you there/ And I go on as you get colder/ Or are you someone's prayer."

-Black Balloon by Goo Goo Dolls Listen here

Jane and Liz walked hesitantly upto their parents' home. Family dinners had never been a matter for the faint of heart.

"Jane, shouldn't Charles be here? After all, it's as much his announcement as yours." liz whispered to Jane as she rang the bell.

"Liz," hissed Jane, "shush. You'll give everything away. Anyways, I'd rather tell Momma myself and sp-. . ."

"Tell me what, Jane?" Fanny Bennet asked.

"In a moment, Momma. I want to tell all of you together."

"Well, I don't see why you can't tell me, your own mother! Especially since your sister already knows! Really, I can't believe- . . ."

"Jane, Lizzie," interupted their father. "I am glad you have come back," he said with a wink. "Maybe now I can manage some sensible conversation. Now, Mrs. Bennet, I am sure the girls would love to at least get into the house before becoming beseiged."

"With a loud 'hurumpfff' from Mrs. Bennet the girls followed their father into the house. Their mother headed back towards the kitchen before turning and calling back towards the girls, "Oh, Jane, be sure to tell your father that dinner will be ready in five minutes and not to go disappearing into the study."

"Yes, Momma."

"Jane, congratulations, my dear." At the shocked expression on Jane's face, followed by the dirty look directed towards Liz, Thomas Bennet continued. "Oh, you needen't blame Lizzie for betraying your secret. Charles spoke to me shortly before he spoke to you, I would imagine. Wanted my blessing or some such thing." At this, he winked in Liz's direction. "I imagine that you mother and Lydia are the only one's who don't know."

"What don't I know?" Asked an annoyed voice from the hall. "What haven't you told me now?"

"Lydia, go help your mother, you'll find out at dinner."

"But I. . ."

"Lydia, now!" said her father, and off Lydia went grumbling about how unappreciated she was and that no one ever told her anything.

"Come on, Jane," said Liz, "why don't we go set the table or something."

Will Darcy sat down to a solitary meal in his London townhouse. As he mechanically began to eat his dinner, he thought over the strange occurence of the day. Charles Bingley was getting married! How Richard would have laughed at this! The three had sworn to remain bachelors at least until the reached thirty. Now, Will was the only one left. Thinking of Richard, Will plunged into the past. How he regretted not being there for either of them. He had never even met Richard's girl. Now, his family was lost to him. They had been ever since she ran away. One thing is certain, thought Will, I will keep the promise and remain a bachelor. Love is for fools. Love had only ever caused Will pain, it was just a way to be hurt when they inevitably left. Now it was Will who left, Will who never loved. So, he sat alone brooding on the sudden convergence of past and present in his mind.

As the Bennet family began to eat, Fanny Bennet found herself entirely unable to refrain from questioning Jane. "So, Jane, what is this news you want to tell us?"

"Well, you know that Charles is to leave for London in a few months. . ."

"Oh, never say he is leaving you!"" exclaimed Mrs. Bennet, interupting her daughter. "I must say he has used my daughter very ill. . ."

"No, Momma, Charles proposed! We're getting married in October!"

"Oh my, I do believe I will go distracted! Are you mad to try and plan a wedding in six months?!?" Here Mrs. Bennet paused for breath before continuing: "you know, ever since Lizzie let that nice lieutenant slip away, I quite despaired of either of you ever getting married. I was quite certain that you would both grow to be old maids!"

Liz had grown quite pale at her mother's statement, and as Mrs. Bennet continued to drone on about wedding plans, Thomas Bennet motioned to his second daughter to follow him into the study where she promptly collapsed in tears in his arms.

He stared at her. She couldn't. She wouldn't. He refused to believe it. She would never walk away form him, not after all he had given her. She couldn't walk away, it wasn't right.

"I'm going to marry HIM," she stated, a deadly calm in her eyes. "I love him, and and whatever you think, HE loves me. Maybe someday you'll understand- but always remember- you're the one who made me choose."

Will Darcy awoke in a cold sweat, a lone tear making its way down his face. Her last words echoed through him. Had he really been the one to force the choice? 'No,'"HE stole her away! HE made the decisions long before anyone else ever knew there was a choice. HE would never have let him have her, HIS revenge was complete." An apt reply had broken the stillness in his room. . .Darcy glanced about him half looking for whom had spoken, half checking to be sure that no one was around to hear him. Seeing no one else, he paused before he again spoke aloud. "He stole her away from me." The statement reverberated off the walls as the truth echoed through his soul. 'You're the one who made me choose.'

"Why, Papa, why?" she cried. "It is not fair! It was supposed to be me!"

Thomas Bennet held his daughter as she wept. "Shh, Lizzy-mine, do you really begrudge Jane this happiness? Do you begrudge her Charles?"

"Yes! No- oh I don't know!" Lizzy cried. "I am glad Jane will be happy, truly I am- but still, had things been different--"

"Lizzy," her father said sternly. "Elizabeth." She finally lloked up. "Elizabeth, he had been gone these two years. HE will not come back. He cannot, Lizzy, you must let him go."
"Oh, Papa, I know, truly I do. I really thought I was over him, over all that happened. But, Papa, it still hurts. We would have been married this June." She paused, then continued with both her greatest fear and greatest sorrow, "Papa, how could he leave me, did he not love me enough, how, Papa, why?"

Thomas had no answer for his daughter. Perhaps the problem was that there simply were no answers- nothing could explain, nor could it change, anything. He merely held her while the sobs subsided. "He loved you Lizzy, you know that." She nodded. "Come, Lizzy-mine, dry your tears. T'would never do to let Jane, or worse you mother or Lydia to see them. I love you, Lizzy-mine and now you must find the strength to go out and be there for Jane. And Lizzy- do not let Jane see you like this - find a way to smile and be happy for her. And when you can bear it no longer, I'll be here, Lizzy-mine."

As her father spoke, Lizzy dried hew tears and checked her reflection. There, she looked ready to face the world again. She knew that her father was right and that she must be there for Jane. She was startled, however, to see Jane just as she opened the door to leave her sanctuary.

"Liz, here you are! I was looking for you, oh, and Papa's here too." Jane exclaimed. "Now that I found you maybe you can help me with Mama, she is positively crazy!"

"Sure, Jane, what do you need?" Liz asked, immediately making good on her resolution.

"Well, Liz, you know that I want you to be my maid of honour." Liz nodded. "Since I spoke to you, Charles and I talked and decided we wanted a small intimate wedding and that we're each only going to have one attendent. Well, Mama is furious that we're not having the society wedding of the year and Lydia is throwing a tantrum to rival a two year old, all because she can't be a bridesmaid!"

It was Thomas who responded (Liz appeared to have trouble containing her laughter at Jane's description of Lydia.) "Jane, you just let me worry about those two. I'll remind Fanny and Lydia that this is you're wedding, and therefore you shall get what you want, all tempers and tantrums aside!" With that emphatice statement, he exited the room to do battle for his eldest child.

"So, anything else you need help with?"

"Well, we need to go pick out dresses, of course you know that I have had my wedding colours picked out since I was four! But I don't think I could bear to have Mama there fussing over everything. Plus, Charles and I could really use some help planning the engagement party!"

"Engagement party? What engagement party?!?!?"

Jane took a deep breath. "Apparently," replied a frustrated Jane, "Charles told his best man that we'd be having an engagement party next weekend!"

"What? Where? Huh?" ended a confused Liz.

"Well, at least he decided to keep it simple. We're going to have it at Alum Creek, on the beach, and we're just going to cook out on the grills. Plus, since its a state park, we didn't have to worry about reserving anything or paying fees."

"Oh, at least that shouldn't be too hard. We can gat a lot of picnic stuff premaid, you know potato salad, pasta salad, baked beans, and then we just need to get some chips, bus, and meat. When do you want to go shopping?"

"I was kinda hoping we could go tomorrow. I knew you were free, so I already made an appointment, but it you're not up for it, I can always cancel it," Jane rambled.

"Appointment? Since when does the grocery require an appointment?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I was back to dresses. I knew this wedding would drive me mad. I was thinking we could go dress shopping tomorrow, but like I said, if you can't do it-"

"No, Jane, that's fine, tomorrow's fine, I was just confused," reassured Liz. "Hey, why don't we just go the grocery after dress shopping? We can pick up the supplies we need for the party, and then we'll have everything done."

"Liz, you're the greatest!" Jane hugged her sister. "I'm going to se how Papa's faring. Then I suppose we ought to get ready to leave. It's getting rather late."

It was only after Jane left the room that Liz let her smile fall. Her eyes began to mist over on her and she quickly shook her head to clear her thoughts. She checked once more for tears and faked a smile as she went out to her family.

November 2003

He watched as she walked through the door to his study.

"I've come to say goodbye." She stood there, calmly before him, the tears gone, but behind her eyes lay a shadow.

"You've made your decision then?" He glanced at her, then turned away when he saw a trace of the girl he loved. He must put his emotion aside; he must be strong - calm and in-control.

"I made the choice you forced me to make. I love HIM, and HE loves me. HE wants me to marry HIM."

"So that's it, everything's over - you'll throw away everything for HIM?" His unspoken 'even me' seemed to echo through the room. It hung between them, a threatening presence; words that would never be said, but would always be present in their lives.

"I am going to marry HIM," she stated, a calm, almost dead look to her eyes. "I truly love HIM, and despite you, despite what you think - HE truly loves me. We want to have the chance to be truly happy, only one couple in a century has that chance! Would you begrudge me that?"

"I would never begrudge you happiness, but HE will only make you miserable. I know HIM, eventually HE'll walk away from you."

"I'm going to marry HIM. Maybe someday you'll understand - until then always remember you're the one who made me choose - and I choose HIM." She turned to walk out the door. As she crossed the threshold, she paused, and turned back to him, saying one last thing to the man she had loved and looked up to- "Despire this, despite everything, I will always love you." She waited briefly for the response she knew would never come before she continued out the door, leaving him cold and silent behind his desk.

As she walked away, he made a vow to himself. A vow to never love anyone - especially not a girl. People only walk away and hurt you - and from now on, he vowed, he would be the one to walk away, he would never be hurt again.

May, 2005

Much later that night Liz lay in bed, unable to get the dream out of hew head. It had all returned again and she had awoken sobbing. Quietly so as not to wake Jane, she went over to her stereo and hit play, as the framiliar sounds drifted over her. . she remembered.

Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
And let that be enought*

"Why, why did you have to leave me? Why?" Sobbing into her pillow, she cried until she fell asleep from sheer emotional exhaustion.

*Let that Be Enough by Switchfoot, on album New Way to be Human

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