Episode
174 - The Frogger
pc:
918 season 9, episode 18
Broadcast
date: April 23, 1998
Written
by Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin
Story
by Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin and Steve Koren & Dan
O'Keefe
Directed
by Andy
Ackerman
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The
Cast
Regulars:
Jerry
Seinfeld ...................... Jerry Seinfeld
Jason
Alexander .................. George Costanza
Julia
Louis-Dreyfus .............. Elaine Benes
Michael
Richards .................. Cosmo Kramer
Guest
Stars:
Julia
Campbell ...................... Lisi
Peter
Stormare .................... Slippery Pete
Reuven
Bar ......................... Shlomo
Sam
Shamshak .................... Sal
Wayne
Wilderson ............... Walter
Mark
Daniel Cade ............... Other Walter
Jack
Esformes ..................... Mike
Melissa
Denton ................... Kobe
Oliver
Muirhead ................. Lubeck
Drake
Bell ........................... Kenny
rc:
John O'Hurley ................ J.
Peterman
==================================================================
[INT.
J. PETERMAN LUNCHROOM - DAY]
(Elaine
and several co-workers stand around a table which has a cake sitting
on it.)
ALL
(singing): Happy birthday to you.
WALTER:
Thanks.
(Everyone
claps.)
FEMALE
WORKER: Elaine, cake?
ELAINE:
Uh, no, thanks.
FEMALE
WORKER: It's Walter's special day.
ELAINE:
You know, there are 200 people who work in this office. Every day is
somebody's special day.
(Elaine
takes a piece of cake and makes her way to the door, but is stopped
as a male worker carrying a cake enters.)
MALE
WORKER: Elaine! Where're you going? It's Walter's last day. We have
to celebrate.
ELAINE:
It's his birthday and it's his last day?
MALE
WORKER: This is other-Walter, from returns.
(Other-Walter
enters followed by more co-workers.)
OTHER-WALTER:
Hey, what's going on here?
ALL:
Surprise!
OTHER-WALTER:
Oh guys.
(Elaine
tries to leave, but other-Walter stops her.)
OTHER-WALTER:
Elaine, it's my last day. Have a piece.
ELAINE:
All right, pile it on.
ALL
(singing, competing): For he's a jolly good fellow...happy birthday
to you...for he's a jolly good fellow...birthday to you...which
nobody can deny...
(Elaine
looks on frustrated.)
[INT.
JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY]
(Jerry
and Elaine stand in front of his stereo.)
JERRY:
What is so bad about having a little piece of cake?
ELAINE:
It is the forced socializing. I mean, just because we work in the
same office, why do we have to act like we're friends?
JERRY:
Why aren't you there now?
ELAINE:
I had to take a sick day. I'm so sick of these people. By the way, I
talked to Lisi, and tomorrow night's good for her.
(They
sit on the sofa.)
JERRY:
You know, I shouldn't go out with a friend of yours. I foresee
messiness.
ELAINE:
Yeah, you're better off sitting around here, reading comic books, and
eating spaghetti at two in the morning..
JERRY:
Hey, speaking of tomato sauce, you want to come with me and George to
Mario's Pizza?
ELAINE:
Your old high school hangout? Why?
JERRY:
They're closing. We're going for one last slice.
(Kramer
barges through the door holding a roll of yellow police
tape.)
KRAMER:
Hey. All right. Hi. Check it out, official police caution tape. Look
at that.
(Jerry
walks towards the counter where Kramer has placed some of the
tape.)
KRAMER:
Uh-uh-uh. Step back, son, there's nothing to see here.
JERRY:
Where did you get this?
KRAMER:
Well, I got it from my cop buddy Doug.
JERRY:
You sure have a lot of friends. How come I never see any of these
people?
KRAMER:
They want to know why they never see you.
(Kramer
ties a piece of tape around a banana.)
KRAMER:
I'm gonna eat that later.
JERRY:
So they just gave you this?
KRAMER:
Oh no, no,. no. I had to fish around in the evidence room for it. You
know, they're all preoccupied, trying to hunt down this new
psycho-serial killer, the Lopper. All right, I'll see ya.
ELAINE:
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who is the Lopper?
KRAMER:
Oh, it's no big deal. It's just some guy who's been running around
Riverside park-pffff. You know, cutting people's heads off.
JERRY:
How come I haven't read about this?
KRAMER:
Well, you know, the police, they've been having some internal
dissension about the name.
ELAINE:
Really? What're the other titles?
KRAMER:
Uh, Headso...uh...The Denogginizer...Son of dad.
JERRY:
Son of dad?
KRAMER:
Yeah. That was my suggestion. It's sort of a catchall.
[INT.
MARIO'S PIZZA - DAY]
GEORGE:
Mario's Pizza.
(George
and Jerry admire their former hang out. Mario, an elder man, stands
behind the counter.)
GEORGE:
Just as she was. Hey, Mario! Remember us?
MARIO:
No.
JERRY:
We used to come in every day.
MARIO:
So where ya been? We're tanking here.
GEORGE:
We'll have 2 slices and 2 grape sodas.
MARIO:
Oh, thanks. That'll save us.
JERRY:
All right, make it the large sodas.
(George
and Jerry walk across the room.)
GEORGE:
Hey, Jerry, remember Frogger? I used to be so into this game. Gettin'
that frog across the street was my entire life.
(They
walk over to watch a boy playing Frogger.)
JERRY:
Yeah. And then you went on to...Well, it's a good game.
GEORGE:
Double jump! Eat the fly! Eat it!
(The
boy loses.)
BOY:
Thanks a lot.
GEORGE:
Ah, beat it, punk.
(The
boy exits.)
JERRY:
Hey, look at the high score--"G.L.C." George Louis
Costanza. That's not you, is it?
GEORGE:
Yes! 860,000. I can't believe it's still standing. No one has beaten
me in like 10 years.
JERRY:
I remember that night.
GEORGE:
The perfect combination of Mountain Dew and mozzarella...just the
right amount of grease on the joy stick...
MARIO:
Here's your pizza pea brains.
JERRY:
I think I remember why we stopped coming here.
GEORGE:
Yeah.
[INT.
ELAINE'S OFFICE - DAY]
(Elaine
is sitting at her desk smelling a pen.)
ELAINE
(thinking): This pen smells really bad. So why do I keep smelling it?
Is it too late for me to go to law school?
(There's
a knock on the door and several co-workers enter with a
cake.)
ELAINE:
What is this?
MALE
WORKER: You were out sick yesterday, so we got you a get-well
cake.
FEMALE
WORKER: It's carrot. It's good for you.
WORKERS
(singing): Get well get well soon, we wish you to get--
ELAINE:
Stop it! That's not even a song! I mean, now we're celebrating a sick
day?
MALE
WORKER: I think it's nice.
ELAINE:
What? What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour
and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have
to be fat, too? Not you Becky, I know you have a slow metabolism. I
don't want one more piece of cake in my office!
(Another
worker enters late.)
WORKER
(singing): Get well, get well soon--
MALE
WORKER: It's not happening.
(They
all start to leave disappointed.)
BECKY:
Can we still it eat?
[INT.
MONK'S DINER - NIGHT]
(Jerry
and Lisi sit at the usual booth.)
JERRY:
I'll tell you Lisi, I never expected that movie to--
LISI:
End under water?
JERRY:
Be that long. I mean, most action movies are--
LISI:
So much more violent.
JERRY:
Not as long.
LISI:
Well, I should probably--
JERRY:
Get going.
LISI:
Yeah.
(They
both stand.)
JERRY:
Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm sure I'll see you--
LISI:
Eight tomorrow?
JERRY:
Actually, that's--
LISI:
What you were thinking.
JERRY:
Right.
(Lisi
leaves and Jerry goes to pay the cashier. George enters.)
GEORGE:
Oh! Here you are. Ha ha...You, uh, you want to--
JERRY:
Sure. (points at booth) How about this one?
(They
both sit down at their booth.)
GEORGE:
Well, I'm doing it, Jerry. I'm buying the Frogger machine. Now the
torch will burn forever.
JERRY:
Fabulous. See, now you're really do something.
GEORGE:
So, you want to come down to Mario's Pizza with me and help me pick
up the Frogger?
JERRY:
Hey, how you gonna keep the machine plugged in while you move
it?
GEORGE:
What?
JERRY:
Once you unplug the machine, all the scores will be erased.
GEORGE:
You're right. Why must there always be a problem? You'd think just
once I could get a break. God knows I earned it with that
score!
(George
gets up and leaves in a huff.)
[INT.
JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY]
KRAMER:
Well, more bad news Jerry.
(Kramer
and Jerry are talking near the kitchen counter. George is sitting at
the table on Jerry's cordless phone. An open phone book is in front
of him.)
KRAMER:
You know the police, they found another victim of the Lopper in
Riverside Park. I saw the photo, and it looked a lot like
you.
JERRY:
Oh, come on. There's a lot of people walking around the city that
look like me.
KRAMER:
Not as many as there used to be.
GEORGE:
No. I need a guy that can rig a Frogger machine so that I can move it
without losing power, 'cause I have the high score. H-hello?
(Kramer
peels and eats an orange.)
KRAMER:
You know, George, you're not gonna find an electrician like that in
the yellow pages. Now, I know just the guy who can do this.
JERRY:
Another friend?
KRAMER:
Oh, no, no, no. This guy is no friend. In fact, we don't even get
along.
GEORGE:
Well, is he good, Kramer?
(George
gets up and walks towards Kramer.)
KRAMER:
Oh, he's the best...and the worst.
GEORGE:
Kramer, listen to me. I'm never gonna have a child. If I lose this
Frogger high score, that's it for me.
KRAMER:
Believe me George, you can count on Slippery Pete.
GEORGE:
Slippery Pete?
KRAMER:
Yeah, I don't care for the name, either. In fact, that's one of the
things that we argue about.
GEORGE:
All right, I'm gonna find a guy with a truck. GLC must live
on!
(George
grabs his coat and leaves the apartment. The phone rings. Jerry tries
to get by Kramer.)
JERRY:
Come on.
KRAMER:
Dng-ga-gng-ga-wt.
(Jerry
picks up the phone.)
JERRY:
Hello?
[INT.
ELAINE'S OFFICE/JERRY'S APARTMENT]
(Elaine
is on the phone and is smelling her tape dispenser.)
ELAINE:
So how's it going with my friend?
JERRY:
She's a sentence finisher. It's like dating Mad Libs.
(People
can be heard singing "Happy Birthday" in the background of
Elaine's office.)
JERRY:
What is that?
ELAINE:
Oh, it's a cake party. It's the third one today. I didn't realize how
hooked I got on that 4:00 sugar rush.
JERRY:
So join in.
ELAINE:
I can't. I denounced them. Maybe I'll go raid Peterman's fridge. He's
always got a truffle or something in there.
JERRY:
All right.
(Jerry
hangs up and stands up to find some police tape around a broken egg
on the floor.)
JERRY:
Hey, wh-what--
KRAMER:
Yeah. I dropped an egg. Be careful.
(Kramer
leaves.)
[INT.
J. PETERMAN'S OFFICE - DAY]
(Elaine
knocks on the open door.)
ELAINE:
Anybody here? Peterboy?
(No
one answers. She runs over to Peterman's fridge, opens it, and takes
out a box. She opens the box to find a cake.)
ELAINE:
Ooh, it's a cake walk.
(She
takes a bite of the cake. Outside in the hallway, Mr. Peterman can be
heard singing.)
PETERMAN
(singing): Get well, get well soon we wish you to get well.
(Elaine
quickly puts the box back in the fridge. Mr. Peterman enters his
office.)
PETERMAN:
Ha ha ha ha...Oh, what a stirring little anthem of wellness.
ELAINE:
Mr. Peterman, um--
PETERMAN:
We missed you at the get well party. Poor old Walt has a polyp in the
duodenum. It's benign, but--ooh--still a bastard. Oh, Elaine, can you
keep a secret?
ELAINE:
No, sir, I can't.
PETERMAN:
Inside that small college boy minifridge is my latest acquisition. A
slice of cake from the wedding of King Edward VIII to Wallis Simpson,
circa 1937, price--$29,000.
[EXT.
CITY SIDEWALK - NIGHT]
(Jerry
and Lisi walk along.)
JERRY:
Well Lisi, that was another-
LISI:
Lovely evening.
JERRY:
Really bad meal. I was thinking maybe we should--
LISI:
Go for a hansom cab ride?
JERRY:
Call it a night. I'll walk you home. Where do you live?
LISI:
84th street, right off Riverside Park.
JERRY:
Riverside Park.
(Jerry
grabs Lisi and turns around.)
LISI:
I thought we were going--
JERRY:
Back to my place. That's right.
[EXT.
JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY]
(George
and Jerry are sitting on the sofa.)
GEORGE:
So you slept with her?
JERRY:
She lives right off Riverside Park. I was scared of the Lopper, So I
let her stay over.
GEORGE:
And you automatically sleep with her?
JERRY:
Well, I just wanted to make out a little, but she kind of--
GEORGE:
Finished your thought.
(George
gets up and walks over to the sink. Elaine enters.)
ELAINE:
Guess what I ate.
GEORGE:
An ostrich burger.
ELAINE:
No. A $29,000 piece of cake. Peterman got it at The Duke Of Windsor
auction. It was the most romantic thing I've ever eaten.
JERRY:
How'd it taste?
ELAINE:
A little stale.
JERRY:
Yeah.
GEORGE
(nudges Elaine with his elbow): So, uh are you sleeping with
Peterman?
ELAINE
(nudges George with her elbow): No. He doesn't know I ate it. In
fact, he almost caught me. I have to sneak back in and even it
out.
GEORGE:
You know, they say ostrich has less fat, but you eat more of
it.
(Jerry
and Elaine start to walk from the counter towards the
table.)
ELAINE:
Hey, so I talked to Lisi and she has got a big surprise for you.
She's planning a weekend trip to Pennsylvania Dutch country.
JERRY:
Pennsylvania Dutch country? Oh, that's the serious relationship
weekend place.
ELAINE:
What is going on with you two?
JERRY:
Well, I think by sleeping with her, I may have sent her the wrong
message.
GEORGE:
What's that?
(Elaine
opens up a paper bag and pulls out a cookie.)
ELAINE:
4:00 sugar fix.
JERRY:
Well, I'm calling this off right now.
ELAINE:
No, no. You are way past the phone call breakup stage.
JERRY:
Well, I'm not going over there. That's where the Lopper is.
ELAINE:
Oh...it's daylight. It won't take you that long. Just make a clean
break.
(Elaine
bites the head of her gingerbread man.)
[INT.
J. PETERMAN'S OFFICE - DAY]
ELAINE:
Just a little off the side...
(Elaine
is at Mr. Peterman's desk with the cake box.)
ELAINE:
Well, no point in wasting $1,200.
(She
eats a slice of the cake as fantasy waltz music starts to play.
Elaine dances around the room talking to one of the sculptures in the
room.)
ELAINE
(thinking): Oh, commander, isn't the wedding marvelous? More cake?
Oh, I shouldn't. I mustn't. Ah, what the hell?
(She
gets more cake.)
[INT.
MONK'S DINER - DAY]
GEORGE:
Now, each of you is here because you're the best at what you
do.
(George,
Kramer, Slippery Pete, and Shlomo sit at a booth.)
GEORGE:
Slippery Pete, Kramer tells me you are one hell of a rogue
electrician. And shlomo, you're the best truck driver.
SHLOMO:
I don't know If I'm the best.
GEORGE:
Oh...you're very good.
SHLOMO:
Let's say "good."
GEORGE:
Ok. Good. And Kramer, you're in charge of taping off the loading
zone.
KRAMER:
Lock and load.
SLIPPERY
PETE: You think you can handle that, numb nuts?
KRAMER:
All right, all right, come on, now.
SLIPPERY
PETE: That was my mail-order bride.
KRAMER:
Hey, you weren't home, so I signed for her.
SLIPPERY
PETE: It doesn't give you the right to make out with her.
KRAMER:
You weren't even married yet.
GEORGE:
All right, all right, calm down, calm down. Whatever happened in the
past is past.
(George
gets a napkin and starts to draw on it.)
GEORGE:
Now, this is the basic layout for Mario's Pizza.
SHLOMO:
So what kind of jail time are we looking at if we're caught?
GEORGE:
What do you mean?
SLIPPERY
PETE: We're stealing this thing, right?
GEORGE:
No. I--I paid for it.
SLIPPERY
PETE: I thought we were stealing it.
KRAMER:
Yeah. It feels like we're stealing it.
GEORGE:
We're not stealing it.
SHLOMO:
I definitely thought we're stealing it.
GEORGE:
All right, let's--let's focus. Can we get back to the plan?
SLIPPERY
PETE: Well, I need a battery for this kind of a job. Can I at least
steal a battery?
GEORGE:
Fine. Steal the battery. Now, all right, here is the Frogger. This is
the front door, and this is the outlet.
SLIPPERY
PETE: What's that?
GEORGE:
The outlet?
SLIPPERY
PETE: Mm-hmm.
GEORGE:
That's where the electricity comes out.
SLIPPERT
PETE: Oh, you mean the holes.
SHLOMO:
Which one's the bathroom?
GEORGE:
Uh, here.
SHLOMO:
They put the Frogger with the toilet? Yecchh.
GEORGE:
The Frogger is here.
KRAMER:
George, I thought that was the door.
SLIPPERY
PETE: Where are all the pizza ovens?
SHLOMO:
I thought the bathroom was here.
[INT.
MARIO'S PIZZA - DAY]
(George,
Shlomo, Slippery Pete, and Kramer are sitting in the same places as
they were in the booth at Monk's, but this time they are around a
table at Mario's.)
GEORGE:
All right. You understand now? It's not that complicated.
[INT.
MONK'S DINER - DAY]
ELAINE:
I need to replace an antique piece of cake.
(Elaine
is sitting at the counter with a Sotheby's auction book open in front
of her.)
ELAINE:
Do you have anything that's been...you know, laying around for a
while? Something prewar would be just great.
(The
waitress leaves and Kramer enters.)
KRAMER:
Oh, hey, Elaine. What, you got the munchies?
ELAINE:
Oh, Kramer, I am in big. big, big trouble. I need a cake that looks
like this.
KRAMER:
Oh, yeah--Sotheby's. Yeah. They make good cake.
ELAINE:
Do any of these look close?
KRAMER:
No, but I know I've seen cake just like that. Oh--Entenmann's.
Yeah.
ELAINE:
Entenmann's? From the supermarket?
KRAMER:
Well, no. They're not really in the supermarket. Yeah, they got their
own case at the end of the aisle.
[INT.
LISI'S APARTMENT - DAY]
(There's
a knock at the door. Lisi opens it. It's Jerry holding a baseball
bat.)
JERRY:
Hi, Lisi.
LISI:
Hi, honey. Is that a bat?
JERRY:
Uh, yeah. I found it on the street. It's gotta be worth
something.
LISI:
So, what do you want to do, Sweetheart?
JERRY:
Well, before we do anything...maybe we should talk.
MONTAGE:
(Lisi
is sitting at her couch while Jerry paces behind her.)
JERRY:
Then this Pennsylvania Dutch thing comes out of nowhere. I mean, how
am I supposed to respond to that?
(Both
Jerry and Lisi are on the couch. Jerry has his head in his
hands.)
LISI:
Then may I say something... without being interrupted?
(Lisi
is in another room with the door closed. Jerry stands in the hallway
and is talking to her through the door.)
JERRY:
Well I'm sorry if I ruined your life. That's exactly what I set out
to do.
(They
are sitting on the couch again. Jerry nods at everything Lisi
mumbles.)
LISI:
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh...
(Now
Jerry is sitting on the couch and Lisi is pacing behind him.)
LISI:
Are you afraid to kiss me in public?
JERRY:
Have we even been in public?
(Jerry
is walking away from Lisi and she follows behind him.)
LISI:
So now you're going to tell me what I'm thinking. Well, go ahead,
'cause I'd really like to know.
(Lisi
is crying and Jerry stands looking over her shoulder.)
JERRY:
You are not dumb. Don't say that..
(They
both sit around the coffee table eating beans.)
JERRY:
These beans are pretty good.
LISI:
20 minutes.
(Now
Jerry is in a room with the door shut. Lisi stands out in the
hallway.)
JERRY:
Well, I'm sorry I'm not Brad. I'm me!
(Jerry
opens the door.)
JERRY:
Nice to meet ya!
(Jerry
is lying on the couch while Lisi paces behind.)
LISI:
Boy, did your mother do a number on you.
(Lisi
is on the couch with Kleenex and Jerry stands on the other side of
the couch.)
LISI:
Fine. So it's over.
JERRY:
Oh, thank god. Why is it dark out? What time is it?
LISI:
9:30.
JERRY:
We've been breaking up for 10 hours?
LISI:
Good-bye, Jerry.
JERRY:
Lopper. You know, Lisi, maybe we should give this a little more time.
See how it looks in the light of day.
LISI:
Out!
[EXT.
LISI'S APARTMENT - NIGHT]
(Jerry
steps out of Lisi's building. He looks both ways cautiously before
walking down the steps. Surprised, he sees a shadowy figure walking
towards him holding something resembling a head in one hand and a
knife in the other.)
JERRY:
Lopper.
(He
quickly runs back up to Lisi's building and yells into her intercom
system.)
JERRY:
Lisi, Lisi. Let me in! We can work this out. I was wrong, you were
right. I'll do anything!
(She
buzzes him up. Just as he walks into the building, we see the Lopper
is actually Slippery Pete carrying a car battery by it's
wires)
[EXT.
CITY SIDEWALK - DAY]
(Jerry
stands outside a boutique store when George arrives carrying
rope.)
GEORGE:
Jerry, you came for the big moment.
JERRY:
No. I'm waiting for...
GEORGE:
Ha ha. Everything's timed out to perfection, Jerry. Slippery Pete's
got the Frogger running on battery power, the truck will be there any
minute, and Kramer's taped out the loading zone.
JERRY:
Oh. Sounds great.
GEORGE:
Yeah, yeah. You gotta come over tonight. We can play.
JERRY:
Oh, I can't. I'm busy. I'm going away on a long weekend.
GEORGE:
Where?
(Lisi
exits the boutique wearing a Dutch bonnet.)
LISI:
Look what I found. I got one for you, too.
(She
puts a Dutch hat on Jerry head.)
JERRY:
Great. Uh, you know what? Why don't you put it in the car so I don't
toss it in that dumpster?
LISI:
Ha ha. Ok. I'll meet thee in front of your place, 15 minutes.
(Lisi
leaves.)
JERRY:
A long, long weekend.
GEORGE:
I hear thee.
[INT.
J. PETERMAN'S OFFICE - DAY]
(Elaine
has finished replacing the cake. She throws the empty Entenmann's box
away. She's about to leave, but Mr. Peterman enters with another
man.)
PETERMAN:
Elaine! Excellent. I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, Irwin
Lubeck.
ELAINE:
Oh, hello.
LUBECK:
Charmed.
(Mr.
Peterman gets the cake out of the fridge.)
PETERMAN:
All right, brace yourself, Lubeck. You are about to be launched via
pastry back to the wedding of one of the most dashing and romantic
Nazi sympathizers of the entire British Royal family.
ELAINE:
I guess I'll just--
PETERMAN:
Oh, no Elaine, stay. Lubeck here is the world's foremost appraiser of
vintage pastry.
(Lubeck
inspects the cake.)
PETERMAN:
All right, Lubeck. How much is she worth?
LUBECK:
I'd say about 219.
PETERMAN:
Ha ha ha ha ha!$219,000! Lubeck, you glorious titwillow. You just
made me a profit of $190,000.
LUBECK:
No, $2.19. It's an Entenmann's.
PETERMAN:
Do they have a castle at Windsor?
LUBECK:
No. They have a display case at the end of the aisle.
PETERMAN:
Oh, good lord.
LUBECK:
You all right, Peterman? You look ill.
ELAINE
(singing): Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well. Get
well, get well soon we want you to get well.
[EXT.
CITY SIDEWALK - DAY]
(George
and Jerry see Kramer, Shlomo, and Slippery Pete standing outside
Mario's Pizza. Slippery Pete is playing Frogger.)
GEORGE:
What are you guys doing?
SHLOMO:
Eat the fly. Eat the fly. Got him!
GEORGE:
You idiots. You're gonna wear down the battery.
SLIPPERY
PETE: The batteries are fine. We've got...oh, god. only 3 minutes
left.
GEORGE:
Quick. Get this thing back in the pizzeria
KRAMER:
George, they closed up.
GEORGE:
I need an outlet!
SLIPPERY
PETE: A what?
GEORGE:
Holes! I need holes!
KRAMER:
The pharmacy's still open.
GEORGE:
All right. Kramer, you block off traffic. You to go sweet-talk the
pharmacist.
(Shlomo
and Slippery Pete go to the pharmacy.)
SLIPPERY
PETE (to George): You owe me a quarter.
GEORGE
(to Jerry): Slippery Pete. Kramer, hurry up!
(Kramer
ties the police tape to a tree and runs into traffic. He runs out of
tape before he can get halfway.)
KRAMER:
Ahh! I'm out! No tape left!
JERRY:
Well, come on George, I'll help you push it across.
GEORGE:
Wait a minute. This looks familiar. This reminds me of something. I
can do this.
JERRY:
By yourself?
GEORGE:
Jerry, I've been preparing for this moment my entire life.
(George
pushes the machine onto the street. From a view in the sky, we see
him dodging cars, hopping back and forth into lanes of traffic.
Frogger music and sound effects play.)
SHLOMO:
He looks like a Frog.
SLIPPERY
PETE: So do you.
(George
makes it across just as a huge truck comes barreling down the street.
George tries to get the Frogger onto the sidewalk, but can't. He
futilely sticks his hand out trying to stop the truck which honks.
George jumps out of the truck's way and onto the sidewalk as the
Frogger is smashed.)
JERRY:
Game over.
[INT.
J. PETERMAN'S OFFICE - DAY]
(Mr.
Peterman sits in his chair behind his desk. Elaine knocks and
enters.)
ELAINE:
Mr. Peterman, you wanted to see me, sir?
PETERMAN:
Elaine, up until a moment ago, I was convinced that I was on the
receiving end of one of the oldest baker's grift in the books--The
Entenmann's shim-sham.
ELAINE:
Ohh...
PETERMAN:
Until I remembered the videotape surveillance system that I installed
to catch other-Walter using my latrine. But it also caught
this.
(Mr.
Peterman shows Elaine the tape of her waltzing around the room eating
the cake.)
EALINE:
Mr. Peterman, I, uh...
PETERMAN:
Elaine, I have a question for you. Is the item still...with
you?
ELAINE:
Um...as far as I know.
PETERMAN:
Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades
in a poorly ventilated English basement?
ELAINE:
Uh, I guess I hadn't--
PETERMAN:
Well, I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is
punishment enough. Dismissed.
The
End