Storyid: 4206493

FanFiction.net

Name: Learning To Fall

Author: Starfire Star

Chapter 1 to 22

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Chapter: 1

Full Summary: Bella moves in with her father, Charlie, in the small town of Forks, WA, the summer before starting University. Little did she know her father had turned their house into boarding for other students! There she meets shopaholic, fun-loving Alice, quiet, studious Jasper, beautiful, sophisticated Rosalie, and athletic, funny Emmett. But meeting the coy, charming Edward turns reserved Bella’s life upside down, including doing something she never thought she’d do—fall in love again.

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

This is my first Twilight fic. I’m excited at the same time, a little nervous. This is also my comeback into the world of fanfiction; I’ve been on hiatus for quite some time, but I will be continuing with my other, unfinished projects. Enjoy!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight Fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter One: Different Yet The Same

My eyes fluttered open to reveal the last sun I’d thought I’d see for two months. Today was the day I’d be moving in with my father, Charlie Swan, for the summer. Although I’d much rather be spending it here in sunny Phoenix, Arizona, my mother, Renee, had strongly encouraged it after I hadn’t seen him in almost a year and a half.

“Isabella Marie Swan,” Renee had told me, hands on her hips. “There is nothing wrong with spending some quality time with your father, especially considering how you haven’t seen him in so long. And you’ll be going off to UCLA in a few months! You won’t be seeing me or him until the holidays.”

“Mom,” I told her calmly as I put down the book I was reading. “I see your point. But wouldn’t a month with Dad suffice?” I was surprised. My mom, telling me what to do, which is something she hardly did. I was usually the one making the decisions for her.

“Bella,” Renee sighed, “I can just imagine how lonely and sad your father is feeling. Just do it, for the both of us, please? I promise you’ll have no regrets.”

I managed an equally exasperated sigh. “Okay, but you know I’ll always have regrets.” A thick hint of sadness edged my voice. My mother looked at me, and I knew she could tell what was on my mind. She knew part of it, but the other part was something I knew I could never tell her, despite us sharing everything.

“This will be good for you, honey,” she said, smoothing my hair. “Who knows? Maybe it’ll help you get past this… phase.”

I surrendered one last time, shrugging and picking up my book. “Maybe.”

Now I got out of my bed, and picked up the brush on my nightstand. I ran it through my hair as I glanced at the suitcases positioned neatly side-by-side across my wall. A lump appeared in my throat, realizing that this was the last time I’d be in my bedroom until Thanksgiving or Christmas (if I was going to be spending those holidays here).

Renee and I had gone shopping for all my dorm essentials the week before. She would send everything else I needed to my dorm room so that they’d be there before I arrived.

In a matter of hours, I would be arriving at Charlie’s doorstep, trying to avoid awkward conversation and praying that he wouldn’t ask me why I hadn’t visited in such a long time. And in a matter of months, I would be alone in bright, sunny Los Angeles, the complete opposite to how I would be feeling.

I sighed, wondering why I had even chosen going there in the first place. Sure, I had taken a liking to living in California as a child, but it was so far away from everyone I loved…

I sat back down on my bed, my arms limp on either side of me, desperately trying to convince myself not to cry. I heard my mother knock on my door. “Rise and shine, sweetheart,” she said softly. “Time to get up. We have to leave in a bit for brunch, and make sure you have everything.”

“Okay,” I called back in a weak voice. I straightened up. I would be strong, for Renee’s sake and my own. I put on a pair of jeans and a red shirt, grabbing the coat that I rarely used, and picked up two of my suitcases to bring downstairs.

Mom passed me on the way up the stairs, ready to grab the other suitcases. Downstairs, I leaned against a wall, taking a look around the house I’d called home for many years now.

Renee set the cases down and looked at me, eyes warm. “I guess this is the part where I cry, huh?” She forced a smile, knowing that if she started to cry, I would. “No, no Mom,” I shook my head. “We still got brunch, remember?”

Mom smiled. “Right. I wish that Phil was here to see you off.”

I sent Mom a small smile of my own. “No, it’s alright; Phil and I have an understanding.” I didn’t mind my Mom’s husband, and how he wasn’t always home. I sometimes even preferred it that way, just my mom and I, like old times. But I didn’t dare say anything.

We set off to our favourite diner. I ordered the chocolate pancakes, and my mom ordered some hash browns and bacon and eggs. We ate and laughed and pretended that nothing would change. We left the comforting feeling of the diner and set off for the airport, my passport tucked in the purse my mom had given me for my last birthday, along with some money.

We arrived at the airport, hours to spare. Renee and I became restless, walking and talking around the airport, visiting some the stores there and laughing. Once in awhile I would catch my mom looking at me sadly, and I wondered if she sometimes felt upset that she was my best friend. Or maybe my leaving was heavy on her mind.

I had never had too many friends in Phoenix. I had a small circle but none of them really close. The thoughts of the little time I had spent with them replayed in my head. I cringed as knowing that these thoughts would take me elsewhere, to the past that one memory engraved in my head, which hurt so badly. I tried to block my mind and tune it all out.

“Bella,” my mom said, her eyes serious, smiling at me as we sat on some chairs. “Whatever happens, just be yourself, alright? This will be a fresh start for you.” I nodded as I stared at my hands, fidgeting with the purse strap.

“What about you Mom? Don’t feel lonely, alright?” I told her. She stared back at me, confusion in her eyes, but I knew she knew fully well what I meant. When Phil was there, it was great. But when he wasn’t, Renee’s actions felt slightly forced, as if she couldn’t go on without him. Now that she had all the time in the world to spend with him, I hoped Phil would make more time to spend with her.

“Flight 47 to Seattle, Washington now boarding,” a voice on the speakers could be heard, despite the bustle of passengers.

I glanced at my mom, tears in my eyes. After a tearful hug and promises of phone calls and emails, I strode toward the gate, gave the flight attendant my passport and ticket, and tried my best not to look back and start bawling. I did look back, however, putting on a brave face as Renee anxiously waved at me. I waved back and boarded the plane.

I sat next to a balding, middle-aged man. I looked out the window as I watched us fly above the clouds. I closed my eyes, giving a few thoughts to my mother, my friends who were more like acquaintances… and… him. I couldn’t bear to think of him, but I couldn’t help it. The pain sunk in, and I closed my eyes, trying to leave everything behind.

I was ready to start fresh in Forks. I knew my Mom felt hurt after all I’d been through, but I wasn’t going to let Charlie feel worried and upset for me like she did. It was so hard to let it all go, but I convinced myself I was ready. Maybe spending some time with Charlie wouldn’t be so bad.

-

I arrived at the Seattle airport, taking out my cell phone and dialing Charlie’s. He picked up, his voice heavy with frustration and anxiety. “Hello?”

“Dad!” I said, trying to sound a bit enthusiastic, but concerned about the tone of his voice. “I just arrived in Seattle. Is everything alright?”

“That’s great, Bells. Listen, I’m sorry, but we’ve got a situation over here. It’s nothing too big, but we’re looking into it.”

“What?” I asked, confused. “What happened?”

“Well, there was a fire at one of the houses. Arson is suspected. We’re in the process of questioning a few people right now.”

“Oh,” I said, not surprised. I knew that in the small town of Forks, the crime activity wasn’t exactly a big issue. Nor were the crimes extreme. Arson was one of the few crimes I’d heard were quite big there. I paused, wondering if I should say something or he would. I cleared my throat.

“So should I take a taxi?” I asked, trying not to make him feel too guilty.

“That would be great, hun,” was the response I got from distracted Charlie. “I’m sorry I can’t pick you up, really. Will you be alright?”

“Sure, Dad,” I said as I glanced outside at crowds of people and there luggage. “But… uh…” I bit my lip. I knew that in a moment, after saying what I planned to say, Charlie would send someone, and I would have to give in to waiting for someone from Forks to pick me up. “I don’t think Seattle taxis go all the way to Forks.”

“Bella, just pay the driver extra,” Charlie said, and I could tell he was thinking of whether or not the plan would work, as well. “Please tell me you have extra money.”

“Sure,” I said, confused. Oh, dear. I prayed to God that this would work; I would hate to get into a taxi, and in my embarrassment, have to remove my suitcases after being turned down. “I’ll see you soon.”

I glanced at the long line of passengers trying to hail down taxis. I knew I’d be in for a long wait. This wasn’t exactly how I pictured the start to a brilliant summer.

-

Finally getting into a taxi, I settled myself in and waited for the driver to come back around after throwing my suitcases into the truck. He glanced at me. “Where to, miss?”

“Forks, Washington,” I said, trying to muster the firmest voice I cold manage. I didn’t dare say it as a question. I knew I’d be thrown out of there faster than I could get a plane ticket back to Phoenix.

The driver furrowed his eyebrow. “Miss, that’s a bit too far for me.” I handed him a pile of twenties. “Is that enough?” I asked. “Sure,” he said, safely stowing away the money and pulling away from the curb.

I stared out the window as the sky darkened before me, watching the sun disappear beyond the highway roads. The city lights of Seattle disappeared behind me, as forest began appearing more prominent. I shuddered. It made the town seem a whole lot darker than it was.

-

As the house came into view, my eyes widened. The house was brightly lit on the inside, but it wasn’t as familiar as I thought it would be. No… I glanced at it, squinting. There were renovations made… it seemed as though a there was a bigger porch. The house overall was bigger. The light was on there, so that I could see clearly. But something about the house seemed different…

I wondered how Charlie could be so careless as to leave all the lights on in the house. Something had to be up. Something was strange.

The taxi pulled into the driveway, and I could hear loud, pumping music. I listened in horror as laughter and talking hummed through the walls of the house, meshing with the music. What was going on? I ran a hand through my brown hair as a butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

I held my coat in my hand, the weather in Forks unusually warm as the taxi driver proceeded to take my bags out of the trunk. I offered to help, reaching for the bags, but stopped as soon as I accidentally hit one of his hands with the edge of a handle.

Had Charlie planned some big surprise party for me? I couldn’t tell if there were balloons or any hint of festivity as the porch was now dark, someone had turned out the light. Wait, did I even have the right address? Yes, this had to be it; I could recognize the large, beautiful oak tree behind the house, where my swing used to hang. How embarrassing it would be to walk into a house full of people but not know a single person’s name.

There were a few cars, all of which I didn’t recognize. They weren’t of high class, or however you classify cars. They were everyday ones, as if driven by parents.

I stared at the house awhile longer as the driver set down the suitcases on the porch, and looked at me. He raised a brow. “Seems like one hell of a party going on here,” he winked. “Have fun, miss.”

My cheeks turned red and I nodded. Thank God my face wasn’t visible in the dark of the night. Even the taxi driver could recognize that people were partying it up at the Swan Residence. I could recognize slow, R&B music from the house, and an occasional hoot and holler. I took my first step up the porch. Wait, was that step there?

I’m a clumsy person, so to my great surprise I managed up the new, stone-covered porch and fumbled in my purse for my old keys. Gratefully, I found them, and stuck the hardly-used key into the keyhole. The music pumped dangerously in time with my heart. What the hell? My key didn’t seem to work properly. Had Charlie changed the locks? As far as I was concerned, he didn’t need to. Frantic and frustrated, I shoved that key in there, trying to turn the knob. The knob merely wiggled back and forth. I put both hands on the knob now, desperately hoping that it would turn.

Through the door, I heard a bright, female voice call, “Edward, can you get that!? It must be the pizza delivery boy, poor thing, I sent him back with an order for more pizza! Do you have the money!?”

To my horror, the door flung open, and I fell through.

Into the arms of a gorgeous, green-eyed, bronze-haired boy.

Just my luck.

-

Reviews would be appreciated. Thanks for reading! –hands readers skittles-

By the way, I’ve been thinking of changing my penname. Should I?

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Chapter: 2

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

I write most of my chapters ahead of time, just so that I’m not scrambling to release something for you guys. I’m kind of slow at writing; I can’t just sit and write a whole chapter in one sitting.

AU means Alternate Universe, in case you were wondering. (:

Special thank you to emoTWiLiGHT and twilightcrazy123321 for being my first reviewers! This chapter is dedicated to you!

Ear Candy: Let Go (Frou Frou Cover) – Boys Like Girls

Courage, Robert – Meg & Dia

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Two: Hello, Stranger

“I-I…” I stuttered, my face hot and bright red, I was sure, as I froze in position on top of this absolutely gorgeous, breath-taking male. This was more embarrassing than the dance recital I had to perform in several years back…. when I was turned down by one of the cutest guys at school in front of the entire student body… when I wore that pumpkin costume for Halloween when I was seven…

His green eyes locked with mine as he gave me a crooked smirk and tilted his head. “You’re not the Pizza Delivery Boy.” Nothing remotely coherent left my mouth. All I could do was gawk and whisper, “crap, crap, crap!” to myself without making any effort to move, for reasons I didn’t know myself.

A warm, friendly smile reached his face. Having the breath knocked out of me, I closed my eyes, trying to count to ten and resurface. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to get off this carpet. We’ve had about 50 visitors and it’s not exactly the ideal piece of furniture I’d like to lay on.”

“Oh!” I gasped, suddenly able to find my voice. I quickly got up, smoothed my hair and began apologizing. “I’m so, so sorry.” Sorry I acted like a complete dork in front of a guy who was a complete stranger. I bit my lip, hoping and at the same time not hoping that he would walk away, and I wouldn’t have the chance to embarrass myself further.

No such luck. He merely brushed off his long-sleeved off-white shirt and flashed me that same crooked grin, this time with teeth as he shut the door behind me. “No harm done.” I couldn’t avoid his gaze any longer as he continued to stare at me without moving. I stood frozen in my own position, and finally looked at him. With another tilt of his head, he asked “Do I know you?”

“I doubt it,” I mumbled at this guy’s perfect features. He could be a model. “Hmm,” was all he said. He seemed to notice a girl staring at us, clearly thinking that I was a klutz, judging by the look on her face. I forgot that we were in a room full of people I didn’t know. My cheeks burned, hotter this time.

A display of delayed reaction occurred when a short girl with a sleek black haircut ran from around the corner. She had small, delicate features. “Edward, what the hell happened?” She demanded in her high, soprano voice. Her eyes widened as they darted from him, to me. “That… that’s not the Delivery Boy…” she repeated Edward’s words. A wide grin spread on her face as she lunged forward, hand outstretched.

“Hi, I’m Alice Brandon,” she exclaimed, shaking my hand. “I don’t believe we’ve met!” I dumbly nodded and opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

I was reminded of the boy, whose name I now knew was Edward, as he coughed. “Alice, you’re scaring her.” Alice stuck her tongue out at him. Edward flashed a grin in my direction and said, “Sorry, she has social problems.” Alice gave him a disapproving look.

“I do not!” she protested. “Anyway! Hi, I’m Alice!” She turned back to Edward. “Edward, you didn’t tell me you have a new girlfriend,” she frowned at him.

“I’m not his girlfriend,” I found my voice, my eyes widening at the thought. He was incredibly way out of my league, I almost snorted. Alice looked at me confusedly. “I know pretty much everyone in this town… but not you. So who are you, then?” Edward stared at me intently as well, awaiting my answer.

“I’m… Bella Swan,” I told them, trying not to look like a total ice queen by giving them the biggest smile I could muster, which was still small, considering how horribly embarrassed I still was.

Their eyes grew as wide as saucers as they glanced at each other, and back to me. “You’re Charlie Swan’s kid…” one of Alice’s hands flew to her mouth. “Oh my God, all this time I thought he was talking about a boy…” The other hand immediately pointed an accusing finger at Edward. “The party was his idea, I swear!” Edward glared at her.

I furrowed my eyebrow in confusion. Then I realized what she had meant. “I’m not here to bust your party and rat you out on my dad,” I told them, surprised. “I came here because I… I thought that… uh, I live here, do I not?” I asked, flustered. I hated embarrassing myself, and I’d done it so many times in this night alone.

Edward looked as confused as I did, but Alice merely sighed and shook her head. “Uh oh. I guess Charlie didn’t tell you.” She shrugged. “I guess we will. But for now, you look like you could use a drink…” she grabbed my arm. “Wait! My suitcases are out on the front porch…”

“I’ll get them,” Edward nodded as he dove past us for the door. I gave him a grateful, feeble smile and shyly murmured, “Thanks.” He winked at me. “Don’t let Alice take advantage of you… refuse the drinks if she pushes them.” Alice, still holding onto my arm, led me toward the kitchen. It looked slightly familiar, but it was larger, with a large island in the middle with stools around it, which I guess served as the breakfast area.

Sitting on one stool with a book in his hand and reading glasses on his face was a boy who looked around my age, with blond hair. He was eating an apple. I believe the title of the book was “Architecture for Dummies”. He raised an eyebrow as he saw Alice dragging me toward him. We sat on two stools across from him.

Alice flashed him a smile and said, “Hey, Jazz, hit us up with two drinks,” I shot her a disbelieving look. She rolled her eyes at me and looked at ‘Jazz’. “Coke,” she said to him, throwing me a glance. “You know that here in Forks, as long as we don’t get into any trouble, no one really cares whether or not we drink.”

“Hey, my Dad’s the landlord and Police Chief of this town. I don’t think he’d be setting a very good example if he just let these kinds of things slip,” I replied, daring to remind her that my dad was indeed the landlord. Alice laughed. “Are you of age yet, anyway?” she asked me.

“No,” I admitted. “You?” Alice shook her head. I watched Jasper carefully as he got up from his stool.

“Don’t worry; he won’t spike your drink. Jasper’s too interested in reading books and being all Mr. Smarty-Pants to actually get in your pants,” Alice chirped, watching me. Jasper frowned. Alice smiled at him sweetly.

“Can’t you get your own coke?” he complained.

Alice sighed, leapt off her stool and reached into the cooler.

Jasper didn’t pick up his book; instead he looked at me, and then looked at Alice. “Who’s this?” he nodded toward me, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

“Bella Swan.”

“Charlie has a daughter?”

“I seriously thought it was a son.”

Alice looked at me apologetically and said, “Sorry, Bella! This is Jasper Whitlock; he lives here… as well…” I stared at Alice in disbelief. “You have got to be kidding me,” I gasped. Jasper gave Alice a disapproving look. “So Charlie didn’t tell his own daughter that he doesn’t live here anymore? That this is now a boarding house…” he trailed off as Alice put a finger to her lips, her eyes wide as she watched me, a look of horror on my face.

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to make a phone call,” I said, trying to make my voice as sweet as possible, seeing as my perplexed expression couldn’t leave my face.

I whipped out my cell phone and immediately dialled Charlie’s number at the station. No such luck. I tried his cell. It rang four times before he picked up. “Dad, you have some explaining to do!” I hissed as I ran a hand through my hair.

“What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t tell me that you turned the house into a boarding house!”

“I’m so sorry, Bells! It must’ve slipped my mind!” I could hear panic in Charlie’s voice. I didn’t want to stress him out further, so I kept my voice as calm as possible and asked a few questions.

”When did it happen…?” I asked.

“I made the plans during your last visit…” Charlie trailed off. I could hear him tensely awaiting my reaction.

“You made plans while I was here!?” I exclaimed. “And you never told me!” The only thing that Forks had going for it (as far as I was concerned) was Charlie’s beautiful house, small yet peaceful with a large yard...

“I didn’t think I’d actually follow through with it. That somehow I’d change my mind. But when you left after your last visit, I had the sinking feeling that you didn’t want to come back. I mean, you’re growing up and you’ll be off to University soon. The phone calls we had made me feel like renovating the house and moving was a good decision. Every time I tried to make plans for you to visit you changed the subject…” I knew he was trying to make me not feel badly for what I had done.

“Dad… I’m so, so sorry,” I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. “I was so stupid, I made this mistake and I know I’ll regret it.” The tears started falling freely now. I didn’t know what to say. It was clear that I had hurt Charlie.

“Bells, it’s alright. It’s actually one of the best investments I’ve ever made, and I feel that letting the house go was giving me a fresh start…” he said. I was comforted that Charlie wanted to move on from my mother, that he could finally let go. But I still felt horrible as those terrible memories flew into my mind, the reasons why I didn’t visit Charlie.

“I don’t live far, anyway. I actually live a block away,” he said. “You could probably see the house from the roof if you wanted to.” I wiped the corners of my eyes with my sleeve. Something dawned on me. “Dad, how did you get the money to renovate the house?” I asked. Being Chief Swan in the small town of Forks wasn’t exactly a high income job.

Charlie hesitated. “Well, to tell you the truth Bella, I had been saving up all these years to help pay tuition money. But Renee told me that was something that she and Phil would like to do, considering how Phil has a good, steady job now. So I pooled all of the savings into renovating the house.”

I gasped. Renee never told me Charlie wanted to take part in helping with tuition. I was upset again, fresh tears collecting in my eyes. “It’s alright, Bell,” Charlie spoke to me. “You’re here now, and that’s all that matters. I know you loved the house, and how much I loved it too,” he coughed. “But it’s time to move on and let other people live there lives there.” I nodded, the last of my tears falling. Breathe, Bella, breathe.

“O-okay, Dad,” I hiccupped.

“Listen, do you want to go over to the house?” Charlie asked. “I think I gave Alice a spare key… hey, I was wondering, where are you? At the boarding house? What’s going on there?” He didn’t seem too suspicious or worried. “I am the landlord, you know.”

“Yeah, I’m at the boarding house, and uh, Jasper and Alice are engaged in a… a heated game of… chess,” I blurted the last word out. I was surprised I even remembered their names.

Charlie seemed surprised, too. “You met Alice and Jasper, huh?”

“Yes.”

I could hear the smile in his voice. “Alice is one of a kind. She’s the light of this town, such a friendly and sweet girl. She knows practically everyone, after only a little over a year living here. And Jasper, that boy is going to make something of himself one day…” he coughed, realizing he went off-topic. “As I was saying before, did you want to go over to the house? I think gave Alice a spare key.”

“Uh, okay, if she has a key, I’ll be at the house,” I agreed. “Is my truck there too? I’d love to see it again.” Charlie laughed in reply, confirming that my truck was there.

“Alright. I think I’ll be real late tonight, we still have to write up the arson report and a couple of others, too,” he told me. “By the way, I haven’t exactly tidied up the space for your room, but I’m sure you can find it. There not much work to be done.”

“Okay. Bye Dad, I love you,” I said.

“I love you too, Bells.”

I hung up my cell and went back to the kitchen. I found Jasper sitting there with a large, muscular guy with black curly hair joking around with questionable drinks.

Jasper nodded at me. “Emmett, this is Bella. She’s Charlie’s daughter.” Emmett winked at me and said to Jasper, “I never would’ve guessed.”

“Bella, this is Emmett McCarty. He lives here, too,” Jasper continued.

“Nice to meet you, Bella,” Emmett reached forward to shake my hand.

“Likewise.”

“So, are you living here? No, right? Living with your Dad?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink. Before I could respond, Alice danced in, with Edward behind her.

“We got your suitcases up to your room, and I unpacked them Bella,” Alice sang, sitting on one of the stools next to me. Edward sat on my other side, eyebrows raised. I raised my eyebrows as well, taking the coke Jasper handed me. “Hi Emmett,” she greeted.

“Alice, do you think she’s really going to stay here? She’ll probably stay with her Dad,” Jasper said as Alice chugged down her drink.

“By the way, how do I have a room here?” I asked, confused.

“Well, no one ever thought to choose your room… I mean, I was the first to come and live here, but I kind of thought it was an unspoken rule not to go into your room,” Alice said thoughtfully. “You Dad cleared it out, of course, and he did mention that ‘my kid used to stay there during visits…” she trailed off, gauging my reaction. Sure enough, I looked down at my hands.

“And yes, you are staying here Bella. And don’t bother asking me if I have a key to Charlie’s house, because I don’t,” Alice smiled. “Finally, another girl! Now the ratio is even, boys,” she smirked at them. “Charlie will probably tell you to stay with him, but you’re always welcome here Bella.”

I smiled at her. This was going better than I thought. I couldn’t believe they actually wanted to get to know me. Hopefully it wasn’t on account that I was the landlord’s daughter.

“By the way, Edward, Tanya didn’t come,” Emmett said in a teasing voice. “Guess she had a hot date or something.”

“Shut up,” Edward muttered, setting down his drink. “I don’t like her anymore.”

“Of course not, considering you’ve liked her since you moved here,” Jasper chimed in, laughing with Emmett.

“Don’t worry, Edward. I’ll help you get the girl of your dreams. You’re just too much of a gentleman for Tanya Kent… you’re not wild enough. Tanya loves bad boys,” Alice told him. I took another swig of the coke, wondering who Tanya Kent was.

“It’s fine, Alice,” Edward said, shaking his head. I looked at him. He caught my eye and smiled. I immediately felt my pulse quicken. Despite this, I managed a feeble smiled back.

“Hey, does anyone know where Rose is?” Emmett asked, setting down his empty glass. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

Everyone else shook their heads. “Rose is another tenant,” Alice informed me, swirling around the ice cubes in her glass. At that moment, we heard a key unlock the door and open. Immediately I heard a few people call, “Hey Rosalie.” There was even one guy who had the nerve to whistle and yell, “Ros-alie Hale!” A tall, beautiful, model-esque blond came waltzing into the room, her eyes sparkling.

“I just came from the greatest date ever…” she said, sighing. She was dressed in quite the sophisticated outfit, a navy blue low-cut cocktail dress. Her hair was in soft curls that framed her face. She set her purse on the counter. Everyone looked at each other.

“Rose…” Alice began hesitatingly. Rose’s eyes fluttered open, looking at her. “What?” her eyes immediately flickered to me. “Oh. Hello... I’m Rosalie Hale, who are you?”

“Bella Swan,” I nodded, amazed at how sophisticated she was.

“Nice to meet you. Are you a new tenant?” Rosalie asked conversationally. I suppose she couldn’t remember Charlie’s last name? Before I could respond, Alice chimed in. “Yes.”

“Alice predicted that this summer would be the best one, and it is, so far,” Rosalie sighed. “I’m glad I came here.” Jasper poured another drink and slid it toward her. She gratefully nodded. “Thanks.”

The guys glanced at each other with raised eyebrows. Alice smirked. “My predictions are always right.”

Rosalie, still in her dreamy state, asked, “How was everyone’s day? Bella, when did you get here?”

I bit my lip and recounted my boring, uneventful plane trip. When I mentioned I came from Phoenix, Arizona, surprise was evident on every one of their faces. “I guess I don’t look like I’m from Phoenix,” I admitted shyly. Alice shook her head. “There’s a lot of stuff that we don’t know about you and Charlie, which is a surprise considering it’s a small town.” I shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “I don’t visit very often.”

“How long are you staying here?” Edward spoke, his voice casual. I stared at his face, his features still amazing me. “The whole summer,” I replied, taking my chances and giving him a smile. Alice coughed. Emmett immediately slapped the book that Jasper was reading out of his hand as he reached for it. “Architecture for dummies? Look, bro, you’re not a dummy, but this architecture studying crap is getting on my nerves.” Jasper glared at him.

Emmett rolled his eyes. “Take a break, buddy.” He slapped him on the back. “What is wrong with you? There are plenty of nice girls here…”

Jasper let it go. He and Emmett didn’t look like the type that fought often. I wondered how they were all related, if they even were. I watched as Jasper shrugged and refilled all of our glasses. “Let’s have a toast, shall we?”

Alice clapped her hands. “Yes! To my brilliant idea of throwing this party!” Everyone laughed.

“To meeting new people,” Rosalie said. “I second that,” Edward agreed. Was it just my imagination or did he look my way?

“To shopping.”

“To roommates.”

“To being young and carefree!”

“To us.”

“To your mom.” Emmett grinned. Everyone rolled their eyes. “Real mature, Emmett,” Edward said. Emmett chuckled. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

We raised our glasses, clinked them together, and drank.

-

Reviews appreciated (: Hope you enjoyed!

POLL IN PROFILE: This chapter was quite long. So I was wondering, do you guys like reading long chapters, or do you want me to shorten them? Reading sometimes gets tiring (for me, at least) and I like being able to stop and take a break then continue on to the next chapter. So, short or long? The choice is yours!

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Chapter: 3

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

Dedication: To gigglezgirl52, Dani, Siobahn Holloway, and AllyR for being my newest reviewers! Thanks so much!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Three: Getting Friendly

As we set our glasses down, I suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable. They barely knew me, why was I invited into their little toast? I didn’t know I’d actually be socializing in Forks, other than the occasional small-talk with the townsfolk. I thought I’d mostly hang out at home, catch up on my reading, and go out when it was sunny, visit Port Angeles…

My thoughts trailed off as Rosalie cleared her throat. I looked up at her face, which was grim. The others stopped talking and stared cautiously at her. “You guys do know what happened to Tanya today, right?” she asked quietly, examining our faces. They immediately looked surprised. Edward looked especially shock-struck. “Judging by your faces, I guess not…” she continued.

Edward interrupted her. “What happened to Tanya, Rosalie?” I could tell he was trying hard for his words to come out evenly. Rosalie raised an eyebrow at him.

“Her house… was on fire,” she spoke slowly, gauging our reactions. I still had no idea who Tanya was, but a light bulb suddenly turned on in my brain. I suppose this was the fire that Charlie was talking about.

Edward drew in a sharp breath. Alice clapped a hand to her mouth, whispering “Oh my God.” Jasper frowned. Emmett stared at Rose, eager to hear more. Rose shook her head sadly. “You know, for a small town, I thought news would travel faster. Do you guys even keep up with the town happenings? I mean, Alice, I would’ve expected more from you…”

Alice glared at her. “Is she all right, Rose?” she asked, struggling to compose herself. Edward looked deep in concentration, his eyes intense as his mouth turned almost into a pout. Rosalie’s eyes flickered in Edward’s direction. “I don’t believe any casualties have occurred,” she replied formally. “I’m sure we would’ve all heard about that.”

“Where is she?” Edward said, not looking at Rose.

“Greg said that the police took all the people living in the house to the police station.”

That was enough for Edward. He swiftly grabbed his coat and walked out the door. Everyone looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Emmett and Jasper immediately got up and followed Edward out the door.

“Wait, Rose, who’s Greg? Never mind, let’s just go!” Alice and Rosalie grabbed their coats. Alice looked at me. I was still frozen in position, hesitating to follow after them. They were practically strangers. I had no right to butt into their business. Nevertheless, Alice sighed and grabbed my arm. “What are you doing standing there? Come on!”

Rosalie was ahead of us, already in her car. She motioned to us to get in. “They left with the Volvo,” she informed us as we got in to her M3 convertible, both me and Alice climbing into the back.

The soft rain could be heard on the windows. Alice immediately turned to me. “Tanya Kent goes to Peninsula College,” she began. I realized she was going to give me all the details. “She lives in Port Angeles during the school year, but she came to live in Forks for the summer since she has relatives here. But she lives in another boarding house, but it’s much smaller, she only has one or two roommates. And they’re not even here right now; they went to visit family in other cities.”

Rosalie glanced at us through her rear view mirror. “What? I never knew that! She was all alone in the house? Poor thing.”

She didn’t mention anything on Edward’s apparent interest in Tanya, so I didn’t bring it up. I was in no position to do so. I was surprised that Alice was telling her history in the first place.

As we zipped by the houses, I realized that we were going to the police station, and at the police station would be Charlie… I stared out the window. It was starting to rain now, the drops hitting the window softly, a pit-patter in the background.

“Excited about seeing your dad, huh Bella?” I looked at Alice, who gave me a sheepish smile. Rosalie stopped at a red light, taking the opportunity to turn around and look at us. “What? Why would Bella’s dad be at the police station?”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Didn’t Bella tell you her last name? Swan. Her father is Chief Swan,” she said matter-of-factly to Rosalie. “She moved here for the summer to live with him.”

Rosalie turned around and continued to drive, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror. “So you’re his kid, huh?” I couldn’t quite read her voice or expression. “I could tell he had some kind of dark past about him,” Rosalie said, a hint of excitement in her voice.

Alice laughed and turned to me. “Rose lives for the drama,” she whispered. “She likes the whole, dark-past, mysterious thing. Soap operas are her life.” Rosalie glared at her. “Soap operas are not my life,” she shot back. “I live a fabulous life, thank you very much!”

I managed a small smile. “I-I’m not some kind of dark past,” I informed them, trying to keep my voice even. “I just haven’t managed to visit him in awhile.” I lowered my eyes as my hands were clasped nervously in my lap.

“Why is that?” Alice piped up, not realizing that she just hit right where it hurt. I drew out a small gasp and bit my lip. My eyes bore holes through the backing of the leather-bound passenger’s seat in front of me. I tried to think of something, anything to say to her. I wasn’t ready to talk about that. It hurt. But I couldn’t be mad at Alice. She didn’t know. And I wasn’t about to tell her.

Her asking that question was another reminder of that open wound, still raw and fresh, as if it would never close or heal. As long as people kept asking questions, I would have to deal with the fresh pain, over and over again. I was able to block painful memories from my mind, but not from my heart.

Thankfully Rosalie saved me. We came to an abrupt stop in front of the now-familiar police station. When I was younger I would go to work with Charlie sometimes. The brick building with the glass doors look like it had never aged. “We’re here,” she announced, getting out of the car, opening her umbrella.

I unlocked my seat belt with trembling fingers. Alice did the same. I wondered if she could sense the tenor of my emotions, the reason why I hadn’t replied. I hope she didn’t take it personally.

We tried to hurry out of the wind and rain that had picked up. I noticed there was a silver Volvo already parked into the parking space next to us. I could see Charlie’s cruiser parked dutifully next to the building.

We burst inside. Rosalie and Alice motioned to me to lead the way to Charlie’s office, and I realized that maybe they’d never been inside the police station before. I complied and lead the way to an office in the back of the building.

We found Charlie sitting behind his desk, his hands pressed together. Sitting in front of him in a cushioned chair was a strawberry-blonde girl. Standing behind her were Edward, Jasper, and Emmett. Everyone turned to look at us as I opened the door to his office. Alice and Rosalie immediately entered the room behind me.

“Tanya! Are you alright?” Alice exclaimed, rushing to her side. Tanya’s face showed a hint of sadness as she smiled. “Yes, I am,” she spoke in a soft voice, tossing her hair over one shoulder. I looked at Jasper and Emmett who were staring at Charlie, and then at Edward, who was looking down at Tanya, his arms on either side of her chair, his body in a protective stance.

“Bella!” Charlie exclaimed, standing up from behind his desk. I managed a feeble smile as he opened his arms. I gave him an awkward hug. Charlie immediately sat back behind his desk, trying to look professional.

Emmett put on a fierce face. “Did you get the idiots who put the house on fire?”

Charlie shook his head. He raised an eyebrow at Emmett. “Unfortunately, we didn’t. But we’ll be looking in on a couple of people. We’ve been questioning a few suspects. We’re doing the best we can.”

Emmett immediately balled up his hand into a fist and began punching his other hand with it. “We can help, if you’d like,” he offered, stepping forward.

Charlie shook his head, his eyes wide, in fear or surprise, I couldn’t tell. “That won’t be necessary.” Rosalie agreed with him. “Like punching them in the face will help any, Emmett,” she said, rolling her eyes as she shook drops of water from her hair in disgust. Emmett immediately began to make mocking faces as she turned her head, unable to see him. I stifled a giggle. He winked at me.

“Do you need a place to stay, Tanya?” Edward suddenly asked. My eyes darted from him back to the blond. She had an appearance that could compete with Rosalie’s. Her blue eyes and strawberry-blond hair seemed to glow in the dim light of the office. She smiled warmly at Edward. “I have relatives I can stay with, thank you.”

“You can stay with us if you ever need to,” Alice spoke up, smiling. I suddenly felt like an outcast, like I didn’t deserve to be there, immediately confused again why they welcomed me with open arms.

“Well, if that’s taken care of, Tanya, you’re free to leave,” Charlie told her. Tanya smiled swiftly at him. She took her purse and coat and immediately headed for the door. “Thank you.”

Edward paused, hesitating. “Do you need a ride?” he asked her. Tanya smiled at him, her face full of gratitude, blue eyes shining. “That would be great, thanks,” she breathed. “I forgot that I didn’t take my car here.” Edward laughed and walked in front of her, opening the door. They left together, talking about something that I couldn’t hear.

Charlie glanced at all of us, his face tired. “I appreciate everyone coming out for the benefit of your friend. She wasn’t in the house at the time of the fire, so thank goodness no one got hurt. But it’s nice to see you all. How’s the house?” Rosalie spoke first as Alice sighed in relief. “It’s lovely, thank you for letting me stay, Charlie.”

Alice smiled, her eyes lighting up. “The balcony and back patio are perfect.”

Emmett and Jasper both nodded in agreement. I had the feeling they didn’t know what to stay. Charlie looked at me. “So, Bella, how do you like our new house? It’s basically the same size…” his voice trailed off.

I blushed. “Well Dad, I haven’t seen it yet,” I admitted. “I didn’t get the chance to leave the boarding house.” Charlie blinked. He looked at Alice. “Did you give her the key?”

Alice’s face was immediately innocent. She shrugged her shoulders, her eyes widening in surprise. “Key, what key?” She caught my eye and winked. “Anyway, we brought Bella’s suitcases to her room. Is that okay?”

Charlie wearily rubbed his eyes. “Of course it’s okay. I swore I gave you a key, though. It’s alright for now, you can stay there overnight, Bells. As I said before, I have to stay late tonight. And it looks like a real downpour outside. You can move in tomorrow morning.”

Alice’s eyes lit up. “Thanks, Charlie.”

Charlie merely nodded and whisked us all out the door. As we walked toward the car, Rosalie and Emmett both said at the same time,

“If Edward took the Volvo…”

“Who’s watching the house!?”

They all looked at each other in horror. They didn’t dare scream or yell or anything, in fear that Charlie would hear them and they would get into a serious load of trouble. Instead, they bolted toward Rosalie’s convertible (with the top up, of course) and threw open the doors.

“Wait, there are only four seats, and there are five of us!” Jasper realized. My cheeks started to burn. I didn’t mean to intrude. “That’s all right, you guys… I think that maybe I’ll just hang out at the station and wait for Charlie to get off work. I can pick up my suitcases tomorrow morning,” I fumbled with the words, wondering how my plan could possibly work. I needed the toiletries in one of my suitcases at the boarding house. I was fairly certain Charlie didn’t have any in the new house.

Alice glared at me; I drew back, feeling very small. “You will do no such thing,” she said, sounding almost like my mother. “I already unpacked some of your things, Bella! And believe me, some of your clothes are really cute, but on the other hand, some of them are absolutely atrocious…” Alice trailed off as Jasper cleared his throat. I let Alice’s comment on my clothing slide. I was used to even my own mother poke fun at my wardrobe.

Emmett nodded at Alice. “I like her, she laughs at my jokes,” Emmett agreed in his booming voice as he pointed to me. “Unlike some people,” he muttered as Rosalie rolled his eyes. I was sure that she had heard him, judging from the dirty look he received from her. “It’s agreed, Bella will stay.”

Rosalie slid into the driver’s seat, her face pinched into a look of distress as she shook water droplets out of her hair. She let out a moan. “I should’ve changed before we left, my dress will be ruined,” she complained. “Get in the car everyone! We’ll decide when we’re not standing in the pouring rain getting cold, sick, and wet.”

I sensed where this was going. I supposed Emmett did as well, since we shoved ourselves into the car, securing our seats. Jasper slid in the seat at the back next to me, leaving Alice the last one. She shoved herself in at almost the same time as Jasper, but he was quicker, securing himself to a seat. Alice ended up sprawled over his lap.

Emmett and Rosalie burst into laughter as they saw the two looking very uncomfortable. I stifled a giggle as well, smiling at them. Alice stuck her tongue out at us before turning to Jasper.

“Jasper! Ladies first, remember? It’s the gentleman’s code. You’re a gentleman,” she informed him. A look of frustration crossed Jasper’s face. He ran a hand through his blond hair. “I know, but where would I be sitting? I weigh more than all of you… except for Emmett,” he began. Emmett grinned.

“You can ride in the trunk,” Alice said cheerfully as she struggled to get up. Jasper shook his head slowly, his face mockingly grim. Alice’s eyes grew wide. “Rosalie?” she asked sweetly. Rosalie shook her head. “Uh uh. This is my car, and I’m not letting anyone else drive it.” She watched as Alice turned to Emmett. “Oh, no you don’t,” she interrupted before Alice could say anything. “Do you know how much Emmett weighs!?”

Emmett grinned. “It’s all in the muscle, baby, I’m all muscle.” Rosalie clicked her tongue and turned around in her seat. Alice sighed and pouted, giving me a feeble glance. Emmett laughed. “You put on a good show, Alice. But you are way smaller than all of us! Just sit in Jasper’s lap. Come on, we’re all friends. Unless…” he trailed off suggestively, raising his eyebrows.

Alice and Jasper looked at him in horror. “No!” They both yelled at the same time. They stared at each other and both let out sighs of exasperation. Alice yawned and clasped her hands in her lap. “Whatever, let’s just get home, alright? I never thought I’d say this but at…” she checked her watch. “Nine fifteen on a Sunday night, I’m beat.”

“Shocking,” Rosalie agreed as she backed out of the parking lot and onto the street. “The party planner is all planned out.”

“Yup,” Alice agreed sleepily. I could see her eyelids begin to droop. The rhythmic routine of the window wipers was all that could be heard as everyone sat in silence. As I glanced to my right, I could see Alice slumped over, legs awkwardly dangling over the side of the seat as she slept. My motherly intuition took over, and I whispered to Jasper, “Let her lay her head on your shoulder. Put her legs up.” Jasper nodded and obeyed.

The two looked awfully sweet together, her sleeping soundly, her breath against his ear, his arms wrapped protectively around her waist. There were so many questions that ran through my head about everyone. It felt strange. I wasn’t used to being intrigued by strangers.

Rosalie pulled into the driveway. We noticed that Edward hadn’t yet arrived, as the silver Volvo was nowhere to be seen. Rosalie jumped out of the car, opening the door for Jasper to get out slowly, as to not wake up a sleeping Alice. Emmett led the way, opening the door and hollering, “If anyone did anything to this house, I’ll kick their ass!”

Everyone stopped and stared at Emmett, most of them looking utterly bewildered at the sight of him. I had to agree, seeing Emmett being all tough and mighty frightened me a bit as well. “Shh!” Jasper and Rosalie hissed at Emmett, Jasper nodding at Alice in his arms, Rosalie throwing one of her icy glares.

Some of Emmett’s friends came up and assured him that no, they barely realized they were gone. Rosalie was a bit miffed at that. “Some friends,” she muttered as she made her way past us and up the stairs to her room.

Jasper followed with Alice, carefully moving sideways to fit through the doorways, despite how small she was. A few of the boys at the party offered to help him. Jasper gave them an icy look. “No,” he said curtly. They boys looked taken aback. I was surprised as well at this remark. Nevertheless, I followed behind in case Jasper needed some help.

He laid her on her earth-toned bed, pushing stray locks of hair out of her face. I leaned against the doorway watching. I could sense that protective, caring vibe Jasper had for Alice. I closed my eyes, thinking back to the time where I felt strong emotions from another person toward myself. I bit my lip, knowing it would bring me pain.

Jasper stood up from the bed. I smiled at him. “I just wanted to see if you needed any help,” I whispered. Jasper shook his head. “She’ll be fine.” As Jasper shut the door behind him, Rosalie came out from her room across the hall, dressed more casually in shorts and a shirt. “Is Alice awake?” she whispered to me and Jasper. We shook our heads.

“Darn. I am just dying to tell someone the story of my date tonight!” she said softly, her voice excited. Jasper raised his eyebrows. “Can’t, Rose,” he replied. “I have some reading to catch up on.” Rosalie threw him an exasperated look. “For goodness sakes, Jasper Whitlock, it is the summer,” she told him. “Lay off the books! It’s time to have fun.”

Jasper laughed. “Reading is fun. And maybe I’ll play the guitar. I’ll see you all later.” He made his way toward his room. Rosalie smiled and shook her head. “Come, Bella. Would you like to hear my story?” she asked me. I was no longer one for romances. Hearing these stories was a constant reminder of the dull ache I kept with me. Nevertheless, I didn’t want to be rude, so I shyly nodded.

She led the way downstairs back to the kitchen, sitting on one stool at the island and motioned for me to sit across from her. She grabbed an apple and turned it in her hands. “So here’s the deal. Tonight I went out on date with my boyfriend, Greg. He’s a wonderful man, really. He took me out to the carnival at Port Angeles after dinner at La Bella Italia…” she sighed as he trailed off. I put on a small smile for her benefit.

“Well. Yes. He brought me to the carnival, and the Ferris wheel and booths were all lit up and decorated… it was a beautiful sight. I could feel the chemistry in the air, and sparks were flying…” her eyes were warm as she looked at me, gauging my reaction. I tried my best to look convincingly intrigued.

The door opened and closed. People were leaving, judging by the couple, “Bye Rosalie!”, the waves, and the curious looks I got, followed by a couple of whispers. I ignored them all, instead focusing on Rosalie, and painfully, her story. My own story was playing like a movie inside my head, parallel to hers, as if in comparison. I tried to block it the best I could and succeeded in blocking some of what Rosalie was saying as well.

A key turned the doorknob and Edward came in, running a hand through his bronze hair. He gave me one of his crooked grins as he grabbed a drink out of the cooler.

“Edward, stop distracting Bella, she’s listening to my story,” Rosalie complained as I looked down and fumbled with a pen on the table. Edward laughed. “Sorry,” he said in his velvety smooth voice.

“So by the end of the night… it was clear. It was plain and simple. It was right in front of my eyes… I was in love,” she whispered the last part in a dreamy voice. “Or, I should say, am in love,” she laughed. I laughed with her. Edward watched in amusement, taking an apple for himself and biting into it. Suddenly Rosalie looked at me, her face sincere as her eyes shone. “Do you know how that feels, Bella? Do know what it’s like to be in love?”

I looked at both Rosalie and Edward in surprise; Edward paused in mid-bite of his apple. I stared back down at the pen held loosely in my hands on the table. I could feel him watching me intently, more so than Rosalie.

“Yeah,” I whispered, sounding more like I was saying it to myself. “Yeah, I do.”

-

Who wants to learn about Bella’s past? Show of hands! –MEEE!- Haha, thanks for reading. And thank you to my regular reviewers. Reviews are appreciated, so click the button below! The results are kind of obvious, so should I keep the poll up or change it?

Anyway, thanks for being patient! I love you all!

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Chapter: 4

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

Wow! Thanks so much everyone for the awesome reviews. I’m really glad that you enjoy my work. Thanks for the support!

Dedication: To all my newest reviewers! There are too many to list here, but you know who you are. And a special thank you to saltgunner who reviewed each chapter!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight Fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Four: Look At The Stars

Rosalie leaned forward, chin rested on palms, hands faming face. I looked up from the pen and found her giving me a wistful smile. “Isn’t it great?” she asked me, keeping her voice smooth, but careful. “So what happened?”

Scenes of him and I flashed through my head, moving quickly and allowing me only a familiar glimpse of his face, our happy moments together. But his voice, his voice was fresh in my head; I could hear the whispers in my ear. Breathe, Bella, breathe.

I was so hesitant, but I couldn’t just be silent. I needed to say something, whether I liked it or not. I didn’t have a choice. A fresh wave of pain erupted through me, making me tremble. My lips quavered as I spoke. “It happened a long time ago… I’m fine,” I quickly averted my eyes for a moment, then looked up and smiled. Acting was definitely not my forte, so I wondered if I was at least a tiny bit believable. I could feel Edward’s eyes watch my every movement, every facial expression.

Rosalie gave me another smile, her eyes drifted toward something at the corner of the room. “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all,” she said softly. I could tell her was fading into her own thoughts, probably about the date. My mind was fading into memories, so painfully real as if they happened just yesterday.

“Yes,” I whispered, my hands absent-mindedly touching my collar, searching for the familiar necklace. Realizing I was searching for something that was no longer there, I abruptly dropped my hand, as if I was electrocuted. Flushing, I threw a quick glance toward Edward. His face was expressionless, his hand with the apple now dropped at his side. For a split second, his green eyes locked with mine, and I looked away, speechless.

Rosalie was clearly in her own world, but was snapped out of her thoughts as soon as Emmett whistled his way into the dining room. “The last of the people went home, saying that it’s a ‘work day’ tomorrow,” he announced, rolling his eyes. “But I scored four numbers from some pretty decent girls.” He proudly showed us his cell phone.

Rosalie threw one of her icy glares at him. “Emmett. We’re trying to have an intelligent conversation here about my wonderful date,” she hissed. “We do not need to hear about you ‘scoring’ some young high school girls.”

Emmett threw her a glare of his own. “And we do not need to hear about you making out with some high school boy all night as if there were no tomorrow,” he shot back, sitting on the stool next to her. They were angled toward each other, about to engage in a heated debate.

“As a matter of fact, Greg is not a high school boy,” Rosalie said, indignant. “He’s 29, and is the youngest lawyer at his firm. His dad owns it,” she added on proudly. A look of confusion suddenly crossed her face. “Wait. That’s not why he works at the firm…” she tried to explain.

Emmett laughed mockingly at her. “You’re right, I made a mistake. You made out all night long with an old man,” he said, grinning. I could tell he was trying to joke around with this one. I didn’t think Emmett was rude or stupid enough to say that 29 years is old. Edward watched in amusement, now continuing to eat his apple.

“Ugh!” Rosalie said in exasperation. “He is not an old man. He’s mature, responsible, and he really knows how to provide for a woman like myself,” she stood up straight, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “He’s much better than those immature high-schoolers or frat boys.”

“You should know,” Emmett teased. Edward threw a warning glance at him, shaking his head as if to say, Don’t go there. I could see the hurt behind Rosalie’s face as she glared. “Okay, okay, Rose, I’m kidding,” he said gently, clearly realizing how sensitive she was to that comment. “But really, how is he more mature than ‘high-schoolers and frat boys’? You can’t just generalize a whole group of people.” He took a sip of water from a bottle.

Rosalie’s eyes flashed, but she replied. “Well, for starters, he has a kid. Isn’t that great? It shows how responsible he is.” Emmett choked on his water, most of it dribbling onto the polo he was wearing. Rosalie frowned. Edward coughed; his face was expressionless.

“A kid!?” Emmett gasped as he screwed the cap onto its lid. Edward looked a bit concerned now as well. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Emmett added. Rosalie raised an eyebrow. “Yes, a kid. But he’s mature enough to handle it. Unlike yourself.” Edward shook his head in disbelief at their conversation. I slipped him a smile.

Emmett’s eyes widened in protest. “I can be mature!” Rosalie laughed as she picked up a water bottle and stood up. “I’ll believe that when I see it,” she told Emmett. “See you in the morning, everyone,” she threw us one last smile before flouncing upstairs to her room.

Emmett stared after her muttering something like, “What is Rosalie thinking…” then nodded toward Edward and I. “Hey, I’m not tired yet. Anyone up for a game of Mario Kart?” he asked. I hurriedly refused—I was horrible at video games of any sort. I tried my hand at a few last Christmas at my cousins’ house and had failed miserably. I was definitely not about to make an early impression embarrassing myself further.

Edward shook his head as well. “Hey, don’t you have work tomorrow? Wouldn’t you like to be on time for once? Or even more shockingly, early?” He winked at me.

Emmett laughed. “No, and I’m not planning on starting,” he grinned. “Ah, well, come join me if you feel up to it.” He left the room, leaving Edward and I alone.

I turned toward him. He gave me that now all-too familiar crooked grin and spoke in his smooth, relaxed voice. “I was wondering… since you’ve never seen the new additions to the house, would you like a tour?” I let out a breath, slightly mystified. Only slightly. “That would be nice.”

“Just so that you rest assured the house wasn’t butchered or harmed in any way,” he added, throwing his apple core in the compost bin. I gave him a mock sigh and nodded. “I’m going to need proof about that,” I said to him as I stood up from my stool. “I don’t quite trust Charlie with making interior renovations. I mean, when I came here every year, I didn’t notice a single thing changed since before I was born.” Edward laughed.

“You might be pleasantly surprised,” he told me as he led the way down the first floor hall. “Charlie came up with a lot of the ideas himself.” He gestured toward a room. “He added another bathroom to the first floor, here, as well as an ‘office-type room’ for studying, using the computer, etc. And as you can tell, he made the kitchen larger, with the island.” My eyes widened as I came to realize something.

“Wait… how do you know all this?” I asked. Edward laughed as he stared at my confused face. “Relax, it’s not as if I come through your bedroom window every night.” I became even more alarmed at this sudden remark. Edward shook his head and smiled at me. “Your dad showed pictures of the before and after of the house.”

I nodded, feeling slightly stupid and embarrassed. “I see,” I mumbled as I followed him up the stairs. He gestured toward the second floor. “There were two rooms on this floor before, correct? Charlie added an extra room and another bathroom. This is essentially the ‘Girls Floor’—Rosalie and Alice are in these rooms.”

He gestured toward my door. “This is your room, of course.” I nodded and swiftly asked him what was on the third floor. “Nothing really, except for the guys’ rooms,” he grinned wickedly. “Unless you want to see them.”

My cheeks blushed pink. “I’ll pass…”

I hesitated, thinking about what to say and how to say it. “It’s just that… the attic is upstairs, right?” He looked at me, his face amused. “Yes, it is. Why do you ask?”

I smiled swiftly at him before staring down at my Converse sneakers. “It’s a special place to me… I used to climb out the window and sit on the roof when Charlie went off to work, reading a book and sipping on iced tea…” I gave him a quick glance. He seemed interested. “It’s a great place to think,” I added.

“You sit outside… in Forks? When it rains most of the time?” He teased. I shook my head and gave him a sheepish smile. “Of course, only when it was sunny… and during nights…” Edward laughed, seeming to enjoy my reactions. “I’ll take you up to see it,” he promised. “But I warn you, there have been some changes…”

“I think I can handle it. I haven’t fainted or passed out so far,” I replied. We walked up to the third floor. He pulled the string which pulled the small staircase from the roof, leading up to the attic. The attic was dark as we walked up the stairs. To my horror, being outrageously clumsy, I tripped on one of the boxes as Edward walked around to open the switch. I landed on my knees. Edward was immediately at my side. “Are you okay?” he asked. I nodded feebly, an ache in my knees as I hurriedly took the hand he offered to get up.

A beautiful piano stood in the corner of the brightly lit room. There was a pile of boxes on one side and a carpet in the middle. A couch was backed onto the wall, just below the window I used to climb out of to get to the roof.

I gasped, gazing at its beauty. My legs moved toward it, a hand outstretched to feel the smoothness, to ease of the keys. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” I could hear the smile in his voice as I stared at the bench, admiring the finish. I nodded in response.

“I bet you’re wondering how it could possibly get to the attic, right?” I turned around to look at him. That hadn’t crossed my mind, but now that he asked, I was curious. He gestured toward a door I didn’t notice on one side of the room. “Those stairs lead toward my room,” he replied. “It was part of the renovations. I chose my room because of the piano.”

I gazed at him silently as he spoke, memorizing his features. His untamed bronze hair, his green eyes, his structured jaw. “Do you play?” I asked him. “Yes,” he smiled. “Alice’s parents gave it to Charlie as a way of thanking him for letting her stay.”

I looked at him curiously. He seemed to notice. “Alice’s parents are quite rich,” he said, simply. I saved this new piece of information in my brain. “I don’t know much about brand-name designers, but I did notice that she was sporting a pair of Miu Miu flats…” My mother always spoke wistfully about the brand-names and designers that she wished she could wear but never had the money for. “No wonder she scrutinizes my wardrobe!” I laughed nervously.

Edward grinned. “Don’t worry, she does that to all of us,” he laughed. “Just yesterday, she sent Jasper another threatening message to throw out his treasured leather bomber jacket or she would find a way to get rid of it herself.” He shook his head. “She’s a bit extreme. The fashion police, you could say.”

I traced the outline of the piano keys. “I would play for you, but I don’t believe it would be appreciated at this time of day—or night,” he mused. “Thank you for the offer,” I said softly.

There was a pause. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I was never much of a conversation-starter. Thankfully, Edward spoke up first. “I’m guessing you’d like to sit on the roof one more time, for old times’ sake?” he asked politely. I eagerly nodded. He helped me crawl through the small space of the open window and onto the roof. The air was cool and smelled of fresh rain.

I sat on gingerly on the roof, my arms wrapped around my legs. He sat next to me, leaning back in a more relaxed position. The attic was facing in the direction of the front of the house. I smiled as I remembered how I always used to scramble inside whenever I heard a car nearing my house. I knew Charlie would kill me if he caught me doing something so dangerous. Thankfully, my clumsiness had never caused me to actually fall off the roof.

I gazed up into the sky which was clear of all clouds. The stars shone brightly, a thousand little shards of diamonds. I sighed, breathing in the heavenly scent.

Edward gave me a sideways glance. “Beautiful, isn’t it? You know, I’ve been out here before, as well,” he noted casually. I stared at him in surprise. I thought he either ignored or was distracted from my expression until a smile creeped on his lips, amused.

“How long have you been staying here?” I asked quickly. Think before you speak, Bella! Think before you speak! I flushed as he looked at me, curious at my sudden outburst. “I’ve been living here since January,” he said, looking back toward the emptiness of the dark lush trees, and the clear sky. “But I came to Forks just before the summer was over. I finished my senior year at Forks High.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling there was nothing more to ask or say. We sat in contented silence for awhile, enjoying the cool breeze and agreeable weather. I stared over the edge of the roof for a moment, suddenly feeling dizzy. The attic didn’t feel this high when I came here the last time.

After a long bout of silence, Edward spoke up. He turned his head to fully look at me, his green eyes locking with my own. I couldn’t break away from his stare, even as he spoke. “Bella…”

“Yes?” I replied, staring back at his intense gaze, my breathing only slightly uneven.

“Why did you come here?”

It was a harmless enough question, or so it seemed, to many people. But to me, it was like the first car to crash, leading to a gigantic pile-up. I swallowed hard, turning my face away from his and staring once more at the lush, dark green trees. If he asked any question but this one… I decided to try and play it cool. He didn’t know a thing. And I had an all-purpose, no-lie answer for the question.

“I hadn’t visited Charlie in almost a year and a half, so I thought it would be nice to stay with him before my freshman year at UCLA,” I explained, keeping it short and simple. I didn’t think the answer would invite a lot of questions, and I prayed that he would just let the subject drop.

He seemed to notice, take the hint, or be satisfied with my answer. He simply broke his gaze, staring into the same distance as I was. “Can I ask you another question?” I asked, curiosity in his voice.

“You kind of already did,” I said wryly, laughing. “But go ahead.”

“Alright,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Look… do you remember how Rosalie asked you if you’ve ever been in love?”

Not the question I’d been expecting. Edward did seem like the unpredictable type, though. A look of surprise crossed my face, but I quickly covered it up, asking, “Yes?” My heart was quickening, my pulse thudding in my ears. I couldn’t quite decipher whether it was because of why he was wondering or what my response would be.

“Did you truly mean it?” My stomach tightened up into a knot, a lump appearing in my throat. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what I could say. Had I really been in love? Had I been a fool? Had I just fallen in like with someone, but not in love? Was there ever really a connection?

One by one, questions popped into my head, fogging my brain and making it difficult to muster any kind of response. I stared back into his green, questioning eyes, while in my mind I wondered about the one person I’d ever really been with. I could feel the pain threatening to choke my words.

Now that he was gone, I could only wonder if what we had was really even there.

I had read countless romantic novels, from the trashy to the classics—and even though I had two divorced parents, I felt pretty damn confident that I knew what love was. I was still on the tittering edge of thinking what my own experience was. But now I could feel anger swell inside of me, as confused and somewhat furious tears threaten to spill over.

I couldn’t look at him as I answered, willing to exalt that bitter fury.

“Yes,” I hissed, my words soft but angry. “Why would I ever lie about being in love? I mean, I know I’ve never exactly seen the greatest examples in my everyday life, but love means as much to me as the next person.” I won my battle over the tears. They subsided, leaving my face expressionless. I turned to him, a pained look on his face.

“You’re right. I’m sorry—I had no right to question your response whatsoever,” he replied in a regretful tone. “I have no knowledge of your dating history—or personal history, for that matter,” he added hastily.

I said nothing, staring off into the distance again, willing to accept his apology. But the bitterness and hurt that always burdened me would always be there as long as people kept asking questions. People never stopped—and it seemed like he would never disappear from my mind.

What Edward said next snapped me out of my thoughts. “It’s just that… your eyes… your eyes when you said that you were fine… your eyes told me otherwise,” he said, velvety voice soft.

I immediately looked at him, and once again our eyes locked. He was staring intently into my face. I tried to keep my face expressionless, but surprise won over. The wind blew, and the slight breeze made my hair fly. His messy bronze hair blew as well, and I couldn’t help but breathe in his delicious scent. I couldn’t quite believe that it was cologne.

What am I doing? I paused, my eyes widening. Why was I already so intrigued and drawn in by Edward?

I couldn’t just sit there, staring at him like some completely incoherent person. It was embarrassing—I was almost gawking. I swiftly turned away, my eyes focusing on one of the many bright stars in the sky.

Throughout all the bitterness and pain, I suddenly felt like I wanted to spill everything to Edward, before my chest would explode. I had never found anyone that I wanted to talk to like this… since… him.

I wanted to tell someone about my dreams, the voices in my head, the flashback still photos of him and I… my mind drifted as Edward spoke my name.

“Bella…”

I quickly snapped out of my thoughts, and swallowed hard. I felt something like a sob buried in my chest, ready to escape. My eyes filled with tears again as I turned to look at him, feeling like the sorriest and most vulnerable person ever.

“I don’t know, Edward, I don’t know anymore,” my voice quavered, the voice in my head getting stronger. Tell him Bella, tell him. You can trust him. Was I still capable of trusting someone? “But I’m trying to believe what I say. What else can I do?” I knew I sounded like a lunatic now. I knew he didn’t really want to hear this.

“It’s like he’s still here.” I was barely audible.

“Who, Bella? Who’s ‘he’?” Edward asked, and I could sense the alarm and panic in his voice. A fleeting thought appeared in my head. I’m scaring him now. Great.

The whispers grew louder in my head, stopping any train of thought I had. Say his name, Bella, say his name. Was this how it felt, becoming insane? Salty, fresh tears spilled slowly over my cheeks. I didn’t dare look at Edward. But his name was in my head now, and I needed to say it. I trembled, wiping my tears with my sleeve. I took a deep, shaking breath.

“Jacob Black.”

-

-Gets pelted by tomatoes- I know a few of you could tell that was coming! A bit more of Bella’s story will be revealed in the next chapter. I was going to make this one longer, but I felt I needed to stop it before I drove myself insane not posting something for you guys. As always, thanks for reading, and please leave a review! It would make my day (:

P.S.: I love Robert Pattinson, he’s such a babe. Yeah… I don’t know why I had to mention that…-sigh-

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Chapter: 5

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

Once again, thank you for the continuing support and reviews! As always, special thanks to my regulars! You know who you are!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Five: For Keeps

It felt like a single ripple of relief washed over me. It wasn’t enough to slow down my anxiety and silence the voices, but it was comforting, for now. The tears were falling slower now, single drops spotting the sleeve of my sweater. Before, when I had silenced myself from saying his name, it felt as if I could no longer breathe… I felt as if there were walls that were going to enclose me at any moment.

Jacob Black. Jacob Black. Jacob Black. Don’t you even dare try to forget him, Bella. It seemed as if that’s all the voices wanted to tell me. I closed my eyes, silently begging the film reel in my head to stop playing.

As if I had gotten my wish, I felt a soft hand touch my cheek to brush away a stray lock of hair that was catching some of my tears. I looked up at Edward, startled to see him leaning over, saying, “Bella… if you want to talk about it… I’m here.” Surprisingly, I felt a new wave of emotion wash over me, making me feel a dull ache in my chest and made my stomach tie up in knots all over again.

I nodded miserably, knowing that giving him a smile just wasn’t going to work; that I just wasn’t capable. I was thankful that he was even here at all, but partly horrified that he could see me in such a state. I was afraid words that left my mouth would turn into incomprehensible mush. Stop the voices. They were urging me to continue, to reveal all to Edward, but I wasn’t sure if I was able to follow.

Suddenly, a hand wrapped around my shoulders. I took a peek at Edward, but he wasn’t looking down at me. Instead he was looking to the sky, before he murmured in a soothing voice, “If you want to, tell me. Tell me what this Jacob Black guy has done,” I was surprised at his unmoving arm, his offer.

“H-he was the entire reason why I hadn’t seen Charlie in over a year,” I whispered, the tears still silently filling my eyes. “It’s all his—” I stopped in mid-sentence. What the hell was I saying? I couldn’t believe what was about to come out of my mouth. The truth was it wasn’t Jacob’s fault. It was mine. I felt a sharp stab of pain as I realized how selfishly I was thinking.

“You can go on,” he whispered into my ear. I was suddenly tempted to lay my head on his shoulder, but I resisted, instead deciding to think about what else to say. I decided as the reel in my head wouldn’t stop playing.

Instead, what came out of my mouths surprised me again. “What more is there to say? We were together, and it didn’t work out. All good things come to an end,” I laughed bitterly, staring down at my sleeve. I could feel his eyes boring holes into me.

“If there’s more, you could tell me,” he pressed. There was more, but there was no way I was going to tell him now. I wasn’t ready. He didn’t know that, though. So I decided not to act like such a pain toward him. I shook my head and sighed. Maybe telling him more wouldn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.

“Look, Edward. I’m an idiot for letting Jacob,” I paused, feeling his name on my lips, realizing how awkward, strange, and uncomfortable it felt, “ever be in a serious relationship with me. He made me feel like a worthless idiot. That’s all I’ll ever be to him or anyone else.” Feeling the harshness in my voice, I immediately regretted what I just said. He stared at me wordlessly, his green eyes expressionless.

He removed his arm from around my shoulder and stood up, brushing off his jeans. I stared at him, my eyes widening, as he held out his hand and motioned for me to get up. As soon as I stood up, he unexpectedly held his arms out, wrapping me in a hug. Shock flew through my body, but even as I stiffened, he held on tight.

I was speechless, the tears stopping completely, a new anxiety forming. His toned body was still against mine, and for a second I thought I had stopped breathing. His voice was a soft murmur now. “I can relate to not having seen the greatest examples of love.”

I looked up at him curiously, wondering what he could have possibly meant. He stared back down at me, suddenly breaking his embrace. He looked embarrassed. The sky was darker now, clouds seeming to form over the countless stars. There was an awkward silence. I stared down at my sneakers, and he looked off toward the trees. After a few moments, he coughed and started toward the window, holding out a hand for me.

I took it, stepping through the window after me. I touched the piano once more and gave is a longing look before he led the way toward his room, still holding my hand. I was blushing madly now, confused and anxious. He stopped at his door, noticing that he was still holding my hand. He dropped it now, embarrassed as well, and went into his room, I followed.

There was a TV inside his neat room, a laptop resting on his desk. His room was quite simple, except for the shelves that hung on the walls like stripes, carrying many CDs. I was impressed. “Wow… your CD collection… is amazing…” I couldn’t think of anything better to say as I gawked at each of the CDs, neatly arranged side-by-side.

“Thanks,” Edward smiled, showing some teeth. “How do you… acquire… them?” My words were once again broken, my vocabulary scrambled in my head. “I’ve gotten some from family and friends as gifts, some were my parents’,” he looked away now before continuing. “Some I’ve burned and bought myself, and others I’ve gotten for free. I work at a CD store in Port Angeles…” he glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand. “Which I’ll be late for tomorrow if I don’t get some rest.”

“Oh,” I said, flushing. “I didn’t mean to take up so much of your time. I’m sorry.” Edward simply smiled at me again. “No need to apologize.” I headed toward another door in his bedroom before I realized I didn’t know where I was going. I turned around and gave Edward a sheepish smile. “Uh…?”

His laugh was musical as he showed me to the correct door. As I stepped out, he spoke again. “Oh, and Bella?” I quickly turned around, to find his face mere inches apart from mine. He flashed me a crooked smile before he whispered, his cool breath blowing in my face, “I know that we’ve only just met, but I know for a fact that you are worth it. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel otherwise.” He took a step back. “Sleep well.”

-

It rained softly throughout the night, kind of like a silent hum in the background, which helped me get to sleep. That morning, however, I woke up to something slightly less-than-pleasant.

“AND BABY, TALK DIRTY TO ME!” could be heard throughout the house, waking me up and scaring the hell out of me. I had to admit, it got me a bit grouchy, but it was sort of a wake up call. I hate sleeping in, making me feel as if I’ve wasted precious hours in the day.

The song was in no way playing from a CD, or sung by the original band. Instead, as I crawled out of bed, rubbing my eyes, and lazily tugging a brush through my hair, I could tell it was being sung in the shower. I stepped out the door to realize it wasn’t coming from the bathroom on my floor. It was coming from upstairs.

Suddenly a scream could be heard in one of the rooms. Rosalie stepped out, a look of pure fury on her face, her blond hair tousled but still looking perfect. She stomped out of her room and headed immediately for the stairs. The verses of “Talk Dirty to Me” by Poison were even louder now.

The bathroom door on our floor opened only slightly, and Alice poked her head out. She gave me a glance from across the hall. “Uh oh,” she said to me. “Morning, Bella! Sounds like Rose is on the warpath.” She laughed, shutting the bathroom door again.

I few seconds later I could hear a door being pushed open so roughly that it hit the wall. “And you say those words to me, and whisper so—HEY! Rose!? What the hell?” A loud, booming voice came from upstairs. “Good morning to you too, sunshine! What’s up?”

Rosalie was furious. “EMMETT MCCARTY!” I could hear the snarl in her voice, even though the shower water was still running. Ah. So that’s who was singing. American Idol was definitely out for Emmett.

“If you EVER, EVER sing like that again while I am living here, I will personally march into your room while you are sleeping, kick your ass, and impair your ability to ever reproduce!” She yelled. “Do you know what it’s like to wake up to someone singing “Talk Dirty to Me” by Poison at a deafening level, and off key? Don’t you dare do that again!” Yikes. Poor Emmett.

I could hear the smirk and equally angry tone in Emmett’s voice. “Get used to it, princess. I’ve been singing in the shower since I was eight, and I’m not about to stop! OW!” The last word indicated Rosalie had done something to him that caused pain.

Despite what Emmett had said, the singing did not resume as Rosalie stomped down the stairs again, marched into her room and slammed the door, making the walls vibrate. A few photo frames on the walls shook, but thankfully didn’t fall. I tucked away a note in the back of my head reminding me never to get on Rosalie’s bad side.

I noticed now that there were four photos that lined each wall. One wall had black and white photos, another wall had sepia, and another coloured. I walked carefully to one set of the photos to examine them more closely. In the first, there was a photo of a boy and a girl standing side by side on a porch, the girl wearing a cute hat and twisting a lock of dark hair around her finger, and the boy flashing his teeth in a wide grin.

I smiled as I wondered the possibilities of who they were. I moved on to the next photo, this one a girl lying on the grass, head propped up on her hands as she was spread across the grass, the sun making her and her blond hair glow. I could only guess that it was… Rosalie?

The sound of a dryer turning off in the bathroom and door opening indicated Alice was finished with the bathroom. I looked up from the photos I was examining to Alice’s smiling face. “Do you like them?” she asked me brightly as she stepped out, carrying a towel in one arm. “I arranged the photos and edited them myself.” I gave her a blank look, my eyes looking back toward the photo of the girl and boy. Photoshopped?

“No, they’re not photoshopped,” Alice piped up, as if reading my mind. I looked back to her in surprise. “Those are photos of us since we were young, leading up to now. The boy and girl in the photo are Edward and I,” she added, walking toward me now. “I thought Edward gave you the lowdown when you two were sitting on the roof last night?”

“Alice,” I gasped, my eyes widening. “How did you know? I thought you were asleep.” Alice gave me a mischievous grin. “I woke up after awhile to the sounds of Jasper serenading me. So I went downstairs and played Mario Kart with Emmett.” She laughed.

“Jasper was serenading you…?” I asked curiously. Alice quickly shook her head. “No, it’s not what you think! I’m kidding. But Jasper was playing his guitar and singing loud enough for me to hear. And I know he’s writing that song for me,” Alice said matter-of-factly. I gave her a small smile. “How do you know?”

Alice shrugged. “I just know,” she said simply. She gestured toward the other photos. “Rosalie, Emmett.” She led me to the other photos, now showing them in their middle school years. “Uh, let’s quickly pass these, we were in our ‘awkward stages’,” Alice told me apologetically. “The others don’t really like them being looked at.” I skimmed past them, noting that none of them looked really horrible. Rosalie, of course, stood out, looking like she reached puberty way earlier than the others.

She stopped in front of the most recent photos. There was one of Alice, holding to her head a hat laden with flowers, as if it was a windy day. She was smiling brightly into the camera, her face taking up almost the whole photo. “That’s me, on my most recent vacation,” she said wistfully. “Hawaii.”

I examined her suddenly crestfallen expression, the sadness in her eyes. I was never the type to pry, though, so I let the subject drop. Instead my eyes traveled to the next photo. I gasped in surprise. “Emmett and Rosalie went to prom together?”

Alice laughed. “No, this photo was taken at a wedding. That’s where they met,” she pointed to Rosalie. “She doesn’t exactly look happy here, does she? That’s because he kept bugging her to dance, until their moms noticed. They know each other.” My eyes lingered at their differing expressions, Rosalie looking annoyed and irritated, Emmett looking ridiculously happy and goofy.

The next two photos were Jasper and Edward. Jasper’s was a photo of him in the winter, having a snowball fight with two, younger blond boys. But my eyes couldn’t stay on it for long. Instead I stared at Edward’s photos, his eyes expressionless as he stared at the camera. “Candid,” Alice added. “Playing the piano.” Even in photo form, his expression held mine until I felt the need to look away.

Alice grabbed my arm, pulling me toward the stairs. “Let’s go get some breakfast.”

I staggered down the staircase as she cheerfully held on to the banister. “Good morning, good people of Forks!” she cried as she danced into the kitchen. Jasper was sitting at the island, once again immersed into “Architecture for Dummies”. Edward was leaning against the counter. They were both drinking coffee.

“Emmett’s job is turning you both into coffee-drinking zombies!” Alice teased, sticking her head in the fridge. At that moment, Emmett thumped down the stairs. “I get it for free, so there should be no complaints,” he told her as he, too, peered into the fridge. “You could at least bring tea,” Alice said, her voice a bit irritated as she heated some water.

“Says the short one,” Jasper said under his breath. Alice turned around to glare at him, hands on her hips. “What was that, Jasper Whitlock?” she squinted at him. “Are you making fun of my height!? What did I tell you never to do?”

“Relax, travel-size, I’ll bring some tea for you today,” Emmett laughed, high-fiving Jasper as he sat down next to him with a bowl of cereal. “She doesn’t drink tea, yet she has more energy than the rest of us,” Edward joined in, shaking his head. “You guys,” Alice said in her most mockingly-tearful voice. “Stop making fun of me!” Even I laughed at that.

Quick steps could be heard as Rosalie dashed into the kitchen, looking breathless. “You guys!” she scolded, running a hand through her blond locks. “Have you checked the time? We are going to be late!”

Edward replied calmly, “Relax, Rose. I’m a fast driver. You can ride with me.” Emmett gave Edward a horrified look. “Oh, no you don’t. You promised me a ride.” Edward rolled his eyes. “Could you two, for once, act civilized toward each other?”

“It’s not my problem, it’s his!” Rosalie jerked a hand in his direction. “He decided to start his nasty habit of singing in the shower today, when I need my beauty sleep!”

Emmett made faces as she talked. “I have been singing in the shower before today. You’re always too knocked out to hear it.” Rosalie glared at him, ready to shoot back a response. But Emmett continued. “You didn’t need to yell at me! I would’ve stopped if you asked politely!” Edward was walking toward the door, car keys in hand. Rosalie followed, yelling, “Well suck it up, princess!” Emmett followed, firing off more insults.

Alice sighed. “Kids,” she said, shaking her head. She turned her attention to Jasper and I. “Do you guys want to go out for breakfast? This tea and toast just isn’t cutting it for me.” Jasper shook his head. “I can’t. I’m on call for Hank. Mrs. Cheney’s coffee table might be finished today, and he might need an extra hand.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “He might not need you,” she said pointedly. “Besides, it’s just delivering.” Jasper still shook his head. Alice sighed. “Alright, go back to your reading, Jasper Whitlock.”

“Sorry, Alice,” Jasper said, his voice serene as he ducked his head, looking back down at his book. Alice shook her head wistfully as she grabbed her keys and coat. “Let’s go, Bella.” Truth be told that I had planned on politely declining her offer, opting to pack up my belongings and head over to Charlie’s new house instead. But something about Alice’s expression urged me to follow.

I followed Alice to a garage at the side of the house. I gasped as the door opened to reveal a yellow Porsche, shiny as if brand-new. “Wow, Alice,” I remarked as I slid into the passenger’s seat. “I got the car for my sixteenth birthday,” Alice explained, the wistful expression still on her face as we backed out.

“Where are we headed?”

“I figured the Pancake House—it’s a little on the outskirts of town, actually,” Alice replied as she kept her eyes on the road. After a few minutes of silence, not awkward as I concentrated on the green that whizzed past us through the window, she spoke up.

“I bet you’re ready to go see that new house of yours, huh?” she said in a soft voice, keeping her eyes on the road. I gave her a quick glance, and then focused on the squashy green forest out the window. “I will miss the house. It’s beautiful, even with the renovations.”

“It is,” Alice agreed. “I love the people even more so, though.” My mind flashed to Jasper as she said this. There was some kind of unspoken connection between them. I noticed one between her and Edward, but was it was completely different.

My voice was polite. “How do you know them all?”

Alice laughed. “Are you serious? Edward didn’t tell you anything last night?” I blushed, and then leaned my head against the window. “We were talking about something else, actually,” I admitted to her. Alice raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

She cleared her throat as she began. “Edward and I have known each other since we were quite young,” her eyes softened as she continued. “Carlisle, Edward’s father, and my dad worked together in Chicago. Edward’s family and mine were really close. It really sucked when we had to move away a couple of years ago. We didn’t live in one place for long though. We always moved around. A few times, though, I’ve been living with Edward and his family. My parents were never around much.”

I was surprised, but succeeded in suppressing my reaction. My first impression of Alice was rich, popular, great family life. But I suppose things were never as they seemed nowadays. It also surprised me at how eager I was to learn about everyone, me who was never the social butterfly.

“Rosalie and I have only known each other for two months, but we’ve become really close,” Alice said, snapping me out of my thoughts. “She didn’t know a soul in town when she moved into the boarding house. She is truly one of a kind.” She let out another musical laugh.

“Emmett came here about a month ago. He brought his Wii…” Alice turned left before continuing. “And Rosalie’s rage. Emmett’s mother suggested he come here after talking to Rosalie’s mother and finding out that Forks was a ‘perfectly peaceful place good for resting before University’,” Alice grinned at me.

“And Jasper?”

“He moved here in February,” she replied quietly. Her expression turned serene, peaceful, and then unreadable. “He isn’t really related to any of us in any way, but as you can probably see, we’ve become quite the tight-knit group in a matter of months,” she smiled. “Jasper is focusing on his studies. He’s going to Dartmouth on scholarship.” She pulled up to a red light. It didn’t seem like she had anything else to say about him, changing the subject.

“Bella,” she began. I could only tell where this conversation was heading, judging from her expression. I feared my response would be unpredictable, either lashing out or falling into pieces. “I know I might seem like a busybody that just wants to know everyone’s business,” her eyes were fixed on my face, giving her full attention. “But you seem like you’re carrying a very heavy burden…”

“Am I that easy to read?” I laughed almost bitterly. Alice just looked at me, her face blank. “Look, even though we’ve just met, I feel like you’ve become my friend. And I care about my friends. I’m just looking out for you. You don’t need to talk if you don’t want to.”

Was this a therapist session or something? I couldn’t help but feel scared and vulnerable, even though I didn’t dare show it. After last night’s little spill-fest, I felt like I would just blurt out my past at any time, to any random stranger.

I sighed. “Thanks, Alice. It’s just so difficult to talk about.”

Alice nodded politely. “Understandable. We’re here, now,” she nodded as she pulled into a parking space at a remote diner. I turned away from her, opening my car door. I let out a little squeak as I almost hit the car door… to what was parked next to us, but a shiny red motorcycle.

I swallowed hard, noting that the motorcycle was very close to the one I’d ridden, felt the wind through my hair as I stared out at the road through the helmet. I felt the road escape below me. I closed my eyes as this memory felt so real. My fingers tingled with the feeling of wrapping my arms around his body, his voice just audible beneath the growling of the motorcycle.

“Hold on tight, Bella,” I could almost hear his voice in my ear. “I wouldn’t want to lose you.” It was playful teasing then. Now I wish he had never said anything.

“You ready to go?” I opened my eyes at the sound of Alice’s voice, even though I couldn’t see her, her height making it impossible. I flushed, realizing I too frequently let myself get lost in my thoughts. But the empty ache inside returned. I swallowed, hoping a lump wouldn’t appear in my throat.

“Hey, Alice?” I asked as I joined her.

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever had something so precious, and then in the blink of an eye it was gone? Like it had just slipped away?” I put confidence in my words, even though they sounded corny. But I needed to know I wasn’t alone. It was harmless to ask, anyway. I stared at her as she fumbled for something in her purse, wondering if she heard.

She looked up and gave me a coy smile. “The way I see it, once you have something, you hold onto it tight. Never let it go. I don’t believe in the whole, ‘if you love something, let it go, and if it returns, it’s yours for keeps’. I just don’t buy it.”

I gave her a small smile, but just barely. That was all I needed to hear.

-

Sorry for the late update, everyone! I was sick last week on Thursday and Friday, so I couldn’t post. I was busy throughout the week, and I still needed to type up a lot of this chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed it, even though I haven’t edited it as well as the past chapters. So if you see any mistakes, my apologies! Reviews would be appreciated, as always thanks for reading!

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Chapter: 6

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

Thanks being such patient readers! I have the biggest urge to start writing and releasing my newest Twilight fic, but I’m thinking of waiting until I’m finished this one to do that. Enjoy!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Six: Saved

I noticed the pancake house wasn’t as small as I thought it was, when Alice and I stepped in. It was still small enough to give a cozy but private vibe. The little bell jingled as the door opened, alerting everyone of our presence.

Alice was a regular at this place, judging from the amount of waves and friendly smiles she received. Quite a few people glanced at me curiously, but didn’t seem to have enough interest to keep it up. As we slipped into one of the booths, it seemed as though we gained privacy.

Something caught my attention, though. A boy about our age seemed to be staring at us from across the diner, sitting on one of the counter stools. His face was friendly, and he looked like one of those typical jocks from high school. It felt awkward if he was going to be staring the whole time Alice and I ate, so I felt the need to say something.

“Alice,” I poked her arm, snapping out of her dreamy expression as she stared at the various types of pancakes in the menu.

“What?” Alice asked. I gave a—what I hoped was a subtle—nod toward the boy’s direction. Alice turned around, giving him a quick, slick glance and turned back to me. She snorted. “Don’t worry about it Bella, that’s just Mike Newton,” she said, turning back to the menu. “He seems to be taking a great interest in you.” Her words were teasing.

I frowned, hiding behind my own menu. “I’m not as appealing as he thinks,” I murmured. Alice laughed. “Well, Edward seemed to think so, and he’s a tough customer.” Thank goodness I was still hidden behind the menu as I blushed. How could she think that? “I don’t think so, Alice,” I replied calmly. At that moment, the waitress appeared, taking our orders. Instead of a pot of coffee, she set down on our table a pot of tea, leaving us to serve ourselves, Asian-restaurant style.

“’I don’t think so’ to what, Bella? Edward being a tough customer, or thinking that you’re quite appealing?” Alice asked after the waitress left.

“He doesn’t take any more interest in me than anyone else,” I insisted. “We just met.”

“Well, why does your boyfriend like you?” she teased. It seemed like a harmless comment, but so far, in all the time I’d known her, Alice had succeeding in hitting right where it hurt. I was determined to keep my composure this time. I filled my mug with tea, stirring in cream and sugar.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I said, keeping my eyes down. “And as to why my ex liked me… I have no idea.” It felt strange just talking about anything to do with Jacob so casually. Alice’s face pulled together in a sour expression, as if she just smelled something bad. “Come on, Bella, you have exceptional looks! Of course, I have no doubt that you’re smart,” she added hastily. “What an idiot guy to do something that’d make you break up with him.” I loved how Alice assumed the best-case scenario—it seemed her nature to do that. Nevertheless, the ache in my chest continued to throb.

I could feel a lump already forming in my throat. “I didn’t,” I said to her, my body stiffening. “He left me.” Alice’s expression froze, a hand reaching out to touch my own, which were grasping the mug in front of me so hard I swore it would break. “Oh no, Bella…” she gave me a pained look. “Listen, we don’t need to talk about it, alright? If it makes you unhappy…”

Pure sadness struck my face as I looked up at her, tears in my eyes again. It seemed as if I’d done a lot of crying, even though I’d only been in Forks for a day. “I don’t know, Alice. Maybe it’s just better if I tell someone all in one go. I’m so sick of having to be reminded. And then there’s another part of me that hopes that if I keep silent for long enough, those memories will somehow get lost. I’ve always been able to block things out so easily, but now it’s so damn hard. I am constantly reminded of my own pain, and I’m sick of it!”

The outburst was a surprise to me, but it felt good. Alice succeeded in keeping her expression attentive and caring. “Want to talk about it right now? Here…” she gestured to the diner, where the majority of people were sitting at the counter, or booths further away from us. I didn’t respond.

Alice looked at me cautiously. “I don’t think you’d want to do it here,” she said in a low voice, looking around quickly. “Not everyone here is from out of town. People talk. If Charlie finds out…” she gave me a grim look. I sighed and nodded my head. Alice was right. I’d be in huge trouble with Charlie if he ever found out. And I would hurt his feelings even more.

We were both silent for a moment. I quickly glanced around the diner, noting that Mike Newton looked desperate to catch my eye. Once he did, he gave me a huge another huge smile with a slight tilt of his head. I turned away, not wanting to give him the wrong impression.

Alice was still watching me like a hawk, probably wondering if I would suddenly burst into tears. I met her gaze, feeling the lump reappear. Goodness, if this was how it was going to be like for the whole summer, I wanted to book the next flight back to Phoenix.

Alice suddenly picked up the little basket of packets on the table and began arranging and re-arranging them. “Let’s try to get your mind off things until we’re safely in the car, alright?”

“Okay,” I agreed feebly, wondering what else I could do. Alice flashed me one of her sunny smiles, smoothing a hand through her short hair. “What would you like to talk about?” she asked me. I thought about it for awhile, letting my hurt subside, and then figured out exactly what I would ask.

“Tell me how you met everyone,” I told her. Mock horror appeared on Alice’s face. “Everyone in Forks!? Why, Bella, that would take forever! Are you insane?” I laughed, throwing a sugar packet at her. “Of course not. I meant everyone at the house.” I sensed that would become a regular term between us.

Alice laughed as well. “That would still take forever. I wouldn’t get to learn anything about you! Let’s make a deal. You can pick one person.” I smiled. I knew who I was going to pick, right off the bat. Alice interrupted me before I could say anything.

“I bet it’s Edward. After your late-night rendezvous last night, I wouldn’t be surprised,” I could tell Alice was teasing, but I blushed at the word rendezvous. “It wasn’t like that,” I replied. “And no, I wasn’t going to say Edward.”

“Then who?” Alice asked, frowning.

“Jasper.”

“What?” A tint of pink appeared on Alice’s cheeks. “Jasper? Out of all people…”

“Why not?” I asked, curious. “Call me crazy, but it seems like you two have something going on…” I hoped I wasn’t crossing into dangerous territory. Alice sighed and turned a sugar packet in her hands.

“It’s not like that,” she murmured, and I could tell she was lost in deep thought. “Alright, I’ll tell you,” she said after a moment of thoughtful thinking. I smiled, eager for her to go on. It felt good learning about someone else for a change, rather than thinking of my own problems. With my inability to do well with people, I had a lot of time to think about those. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a heartfelt conversation with anyone besides my parents and (painfully) Jacob.

At that moment, the waitress came with our orders. I gestured for Alice to continue before she could dive into her pancakes, making whatever excuse she could not to tell the story. She playfully rolled her eyes and began.

“As I set before, Jasper came to Forks high for the second semester, at the beginning of February…”

Alice and Edward walked side-by-side to the cafeteria, carrying on their own conversation, in the midst of all the buzz and chatter by fellow students. They had heard a new student was coming. It was big news in the small town, considering everyone knew everyone.

A new kid would make the townsfolk’s lives more interesting. Of course, this theory was tested with Edward’s arrival at the beginning of senior year, and was proven correct. Girls went out of their way to sit at his table, to volunteer to be his guide around the school and mentor. He politely refused every one of them, and was shown the ropes by Alice. He quickly adjusted to this new school, and was relieved that everyone else would stop looking at him like the most fascinating creature on earth.

Squeals from the girls and grumbling from the boys was all that could be heard as the crowd made its way to the cafeteria.

“I heard this new guy is gorgeous!”

“Puh-lease! Edward Cullen won that award and I doubt he’s going to be getting competition anytime soon!”

“I heard he plays the guitar!”

Alice laughed at these remarks as Edward shook his head in disbelief. “I never knew that townsfolk were so easily amused. What poor, poor deprived people.” Alice playfully smacked him in the arm. “If you keep saying stuff like that, girls will stop thinking of you as Prince Charming!”

“I hope so.”

Alice rolled her eyes as they entered the cafeteria, immediately joining the lunch line. She tapped her foot impatiently as a few students at the front of the line took their time deciding between cardboard pizzas or dry hamburgers.

“Check him out!” A girl in front of Alice tapped her friend on the shoulder, turning around to point behind them.

Sitting at a table alone was a boy their age, with blond hair, bending over a notebook pad. His tray of food in front of him was left untouched. He looked up, then quickly down as he furiously scribbled something with a pen. Alice and Edward both looked at him for a moment. Alice’s face pulled together in curiosity.

Edward shrugged. “That’s Jasper Whitlock,” he said to Alice quietly. “He’s in my Spanish class. He doesn’t say much. Jessica Stanley did talk to him for a moment. You know how she is.” Alice watched as Jessica, a girl with curly hair who was known for her flirtatious ways, flounce up to Jasper. She said something to him, and he replied with a shrug and a shake of his head.

Alice turned away now, picking up her lunch. She quickly hurried with Edward to their table. Alice, despite knowing many people, usually only sat with Edward and a few other friends. This sparked rumours of a relationship between the two, but they ignored them.

Edward immediately began eating his sandwich as Alice stared wistfully across the room from Jasper, who was still sitting alone. A few of Jessica Stanley’s friends also went up to him, but again, he replied with a shrug and a shake of his head. He mumbled something, and the girls flounced away, flipping their hair over their shoulders.

“He’s all alone,” Alice said to Edward, who was now opening his bottle of Coke. Jasper was still scribbling furiously in his notebook.

“Huh?” Edward’s mouth was full of sandwich.

“Jasper Whitlock. Just look at him. Remember when you were new…” Alice said, smoothing out her shoulder-length hair. Edward shrugged.

“I had you, so no, I didn’t have quite the same experience he did,” Edward laughed.

Alice smiled, but looked over her shoulder to glance at Jasper once more. “Exactly… he doesn’t know anyone… I think I’ll be friendly and go up and introduce myself.” Edward stared at Alice, a look of warning on his face. “I know you’re a people person, Alice, but sometimes not everyone receives this well. Just look at all the girls he’s waving off.”

“I’m not like other girls, Edward.”

Before Edward could say anything, Alice had stood up and smoothly strode over to Jasper’s table, plopping herself down in front of him before he could say anything. He took one look at her and raised his eyebrow. “Sorry, I’m—” he said, but Alice interrupted him.

“Yes, I know, you’re Jasper Whitlock,” she smiled, reaching her arm out to grab his hand and shake it. “I’m Mary Alice Brandon. I don’t like being called Mary though, so call me Alice,” like a Good Samaritan, she asked him how his first day was going.

Jasper hesitated, and then groaned. “I don’t want to sound rude, but all these girls have been randomly coming up to me, wanting to sit asking to sit at this table. No offence, but I work better when I’m alone.”

Alice raised her eyebrows at him, trying to take a peek at the notebook in front of him. She put a hand on it and slid it toward her, Jasper hastening to snatch it back. She looked at it for a brief moment. “What is this, poetry?”

“I can’t decide whether it’s a poem or a song,” Jasper told her, trying to take the notebook back. Alice kept her eyes on it, reading each line silently to herself. A smile slowly appeared on her lips as she gave finally gave the notebook back to Jasper. He took it, relieved. Alice smiled at him. “Your work is really good.”

“Thanks, ma’am…” Jasper said, revealing a hint of southern accent. Alice laughed. “Alice, remember?” Jasper nodded, shyly smiling back.

Alice felt the need to know everything about Jasper. From that day forward, she and Edward sat with Jasper, on the days when he wasn’t busy writing his lyrics or poems. The threesome became close friends within a week. But the next week, something was different. Jasper hadn’t sat with them a single day that week. Edward had no problem with this. Alice, however, felt differently.

“It’s Thursday, and he hasn’t even sat with us once! He hasn’t spoken a word to me,” Alice huffed as she took a bite of her pizza. “I understand his need to express himself creatively, but why at lunch? Geez.” Edward shook his head. “Alice, honestly, just give the guy some space. He’s still adjusting. Not everyone can get used to your closeness that quickly.” Alice nodded and didn’t say another word.

The next day was Friday. The following Monday would be Valentine’s Day. “I’m won’t be here that day, Alice,” Edward said in a low voice at lunch. “I’ve gotten two awfully scary ‘Secret Admirer” letters describing quite graphically what the person would do to me if they got their hands on me.” Edward shuddered.

Alice laughed. As always, her eyes trailed toward the familiar table that Jasper usually sat at. Today, he wasn’t there. “Did Jasper come to Spanish?” she asked Edward.

“Yeah.”

Alice didn’t say another word.

On Monday, Alice came into the cafeteria alone. This Valentine’s Day wasn’t making her feel any better about this. Edward had kept his promise of ditching school. She could sit anywhere, but chose not to. She headed to her regular table, watching girls accept offerings of flowers with squeals and giggles.

Before she set her tray down, she noticed that there was a piece of paper on the table and a single red tulip on top of it. She eyed it suspiciously, wondering if it was a prank from Edward. Instead, she opened it, and inside was the most beautiful poem she had ever read.

She quickly looked around, knowing exactly who had written it. Suddenly he came through the cafeteria doors, an anxious expression on his face. He stopped in front of her as she stood, holding the paper.

Alice raised an eyebrow at him, a coy smile on her face.

“You’ve kept me waiting a long time,” she said softly.

Jasper ducked his head. “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

“Don’t be.”

Alice finished her story with a flourish, keeping her eyes lowered. My eyes filled with tears. I blinked them back, surprised. I was always one for a good romantic story. Alice stifled a giggle at my expression. I gave her a sly smile. “Jasper was your valentine?” Alice nodded. I raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t get your hopes up, Bella. Things never went anywhere beyond that,” Alice reminded me. “Strictly friendship entre nous.” She laughed. I kept a doubtful face on.

“But Alice… the look you got on your face when you told me this entire story just now, I could tell there was a deeper connection than friendship,” I sighed, stabbing a piece of scrambled egg and putting it into my mouth.

“Jasper and I are closer than we are to the others on some levels, yes,” Alice admitted. “But I wouldn’t date him. It would ruin our friendship.” I tried to hide the doubt in my face before she could get anymore uncomfortable. I had a nagging feeling this wasn’t the reason. I put my thoughts aside as she spoke.

“So… Bella… tell me more about yourself,” Alice said, her smile inviting. Okay, Bella, this is your chance to show Alice that you’re not the freak she thinks you are. You have no need to talk about Jacob. Jacob has nothing to do with who you are.

“Bella?” My head snapped up. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Mike Newton walking swiftly toward us. My eyes widened. “Oh, no,” I muttered to Alice. Before she could glance back, Mike Newton was at our table, smiling widely.

“Hi there. I’m Mike Newton, pleased to meet you. Are you a friend of Alice? I could tell that you’re from out of town,” he stuck out a hand for me to shake it. I eyed him wearily before shaking. Of course, he wouldn’t know that I was born in Forks and that I’d visited practically every year.

“Yes, she’s a friend of mine, Mike,” Alice rolled her eyes, taking one last bite of her pancakes, wiping her mouth with a napkin. I stared at her in a desperate attempt to get away from him. I swiftly removed my hand from his and stared at the table, waiting for Alice to speak. I didn’t want to be rude to a perfect stranger, but he looked like he had unwelcome intentions. “This is Bella. Bella, this is Mike Newton.”

I looked back at Alice, wondering why she hadn’t blown my cover and given him my last name. To confirm my suspicions about Mike, he whipped out a card with his name. “I work with Newton’s Gardening. We do everything from mowing lawns to trimming bushes to planting…” he winked at me. “Call me sometime. If you live far, don’t worry. Maybe we could work something out.”

My cheeks flushed at the thought of a guy actually asking me out. I felt even more embarassed at the thought that I had jumped to the conclusion that he was asking me out. Idiot, stupid idiot. Nevertheless, my thoughts trailed off. If Jacob were here… I winced. If Jacob were here… Mike Newton would be no more. I looked down at my hands. “Sorry, I don’t think we’re interested,” I mumbled to the table.

Alice sighed. “Mike, do you have to advertise your services to everyone?”

Mike grinned. “Just the people I like.” He smiled at me again, and I averted my eyes, staring out the window. To my astonishment, I saw a shiny silver Volvo parking into the space next to Alice’s Porsche. I quickly looked away, back at Mike. His hand still offered me the card. Alice’s face had changed now, and I could tell that she was already making plans out in her head. She gave me an encouraging smile.

“Thanks,” I said to him, taking the card and stuffing it into my jacket. Alice tilted her head and smiled, as if to say See, no harm done! I gave her a wistful sigh as the door jingled and a familiar bronze-haired boy walked into the diner. He spotted us, smiled, and waved. I waved back, eager to get out of the current situation.

Mike and Alice both turned around as Edward approached the table. “Hey,” he said in his velvety voice, nodding at us. “Jasper told me I’d find you here.” I blinked at him. We hadn’t told Jasper where we had gone. But from what I could tell, Jasper knew a lot about Alice. Possibly even more than Edward.

Mike Newton folded his arms across his chest and mumbled something that sounded like, “Hello, Edward.”

Edward grinned crookedly at me. “Advertising your lawn care services again, Mike? Family having some business troubles?” Mike glared at him, but Edward’s face was perfectly innocent.

“We’re fine, thanks,” Mike replied coolly. “I was just about to ask Bella if she’d like to go to dinner with me.” My eyes widened in shock, and my peripheral vision showed that Alice had clapped a hand to her mouth and had erupted into a fit of laughter.

Edward raised an eyebrow, cocking his head. “Is that so?” His mouth twitched as if fighting a smile or laughter; I couldn’t tell. Out of the corner of his eye, though, he looked at me. I stared at him intently, my eyes begging for him to save me from this embarrassing predicament. Why on earth would Mike Newton, baby-faced and blond-haired, blue-eyed Mike Newton want to ask me, Bella Swan, out on a date? I was never the prettiest girl on the block. Why didn’t he ask Alice out, for crying out loud?

Mike nodded confidently; his face looking from Edward’s to mine. “Well, I’m afraid she’ll just have to answer you at another time,” Edward said, and I saw him give a slight nod in Alice’s direction. She raised her hand to the waitress, indicating she was ready to pay the bill. I was about to protest and demand that Alice let me pay for my fair share, when Mike interrupted.

“I don’t see why not now,” he persisted, throwing me a glance. I ignored Alice and picked up the little book the waitress left on the table for our pay. I opened my wallet to throw in some money when Alice snatched it from me. Her porcelain face pulled into frown, slowly nodding her head in Mike’s direction. I sighed.

“Now isn’t a good time,” Edward said simply, reaching for my hand. I felt a shock run through me, as if I had been electrocuted. I was immediately aware of the heat rising to an even higher temperature in my face. Automatically, I stood up, Edward still holding my hand. “Right now, Bella and I have some urgent business to attend to.”

He smoothly led the way toward the door, still holding my hand. I was aware of the attention we received from the other customers but I shook it off, concentrating on where I was going in fear that I would trip or hurt myself somewhere along the way.

I could hear the sound of Alice’s ballet flats lightly but quickly tap the ground as she caught up with us. I could only imagine the look on Mike Newton’s face. I wanted to apologize to him for being so rude, but I was a girl in a gaze. I heard the bells jingle as the door open and shut.

As we made our way through the parking lot, Edward threw a fleeting glance toward me, giving me that same crooked smile. I wondered if he realized he was still holding my hand. I looked back at him and blushed. He ran a hand through his tousled bronze hair, which I had the sudden urge to run my fingers through.

I forced myself to shake these thoughts away. It wasn’t right. A wave of anxiety washed over me. Now I wanted him to drop my hand. No one had ever held my hand since Jacob. That was how I had referred to time now—Before Jacob, and After Jacob. I suddenly wanted Edward to take those things back—sitting on the roof, staring at the stars; hugging me and reassuring that everything would be okay. He had no right to do any of those things.

But I surprised myself. Instead of wriggling my hand out of his, I clutched it even tighter now. And as the cool breeze made my hair fly in all different directions, I leaned close to his ear and whispered, “Thanks.”

He looked back and smiled. His green eyes pierced through mine, as if he could see straight into my soul. “Anytime.”

-

Honestly, you guys, next chapter I will reveal what happened to Bella and Jacob, whether it be in a flashback or Bella just coming right out and say it. So fret not, folks! Thanks for reading. And as always, reviews are greatly appreciated! Hope you have a great day (:

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Chapter: 7

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

Thank you for all the lovely reviews! They made my day. And yes, I threw a little bit of Jasper/Alice in there for all you fans. I’m glad you liked it. Now, on to Chapter Seven! Enjoy!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Seven: Stolen

I silently prayed for something, anything, to say during the drive home as we settled in his silver Volvo, Edward drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. I put on my seat belt and glanced out the window to see Alice smile at me, giving me a thumbs up. I smiled back, rolling my eyes to put rest to all her suspicions. She didn’t seem to notice.

“You know, this really isn’t necessary,” I hesitated, touching the handle of the door. “I could ride with Alice. And don’t you have to be at work?” He chuckled as he absentmindedly flipped through the CD compartment. “You ask a lot of questions.”

I blushed and turned away. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t have to be at work. My boss thought it would be a slow day, so he let me off.” I was about to speak when he interrupted me. “And riding with Alice would blow your cover. You wouldn’t really want that, would you?” He grinned crookedly at me as the car started moving. I turned around in my seat to see Alice following dutifully behind us, her shiny yellow Porsche a beacon of light under the cloudy sky.

“Thanks, again,” I told him as he came to a red light and let his side window open an inch. “I don’t know what I would’ve said to him.” Edward laughed. He ran a hand through his bronze hair, steering with the other. “You should’ve said yes.”

I looked at him, surprised. He saw my expression and chuckled softly for a moment, then said, “You would probably get free lawn care.” I laughed with him, my own laughter not quite comparing with his musical one. He looked at my face for a moment, then said, “But seriously, what would you have told him?”

I stared at the road ahead. “I don’t know. It’s not everyday that I have guys asking me out,” I said carefully. He nodded. “Not since Jacob Black, huh?” He saw my alarmed expression. “Sorry,” he murmured quickly. I wanted desperately to change the subject. I nodded at him in response before I did so.

“I’m glad that Mike Newton didn’t ask for my last name,” I admitted as I shifted in my seat. “Chief Swan’s daughter, I wonder what he would make of that.”

“I wonder why nobody recognized you,” Edward replied. He raised an eyebrow. “You did come here every year, didn’t you?” I didn’t need to chime in the fact that it had been quite some time since my last visit.

I nodded. “But I don’t know. I never really socialized with anyone. And I guess I look different.” This much was true. During my trips, I’d usually stay in the house or lounged in the backyard, reading a book or simply lying on the grass in the sun on rare occasion. I’d go out to the grocery store to make our meals, but other than that, I was hardly seen by the townsfolk.

And it was true; I did look different. Before Jacob, I always wore my hair out. The only thing I did to it was put it up in a sloppy ponytail for gym. But now, I had let it grow out, the waves now concealed carefully inside a bun or behind a headband. I used to wear a modest amount of make-up, but now my face was completely au natural.

When Jacob was with me, I was so carefree… I joked around. I went to parties. But now that he was out of the picture, I reverted back to my old ways, being responsible, having to take care of Renee, staying at home. I didn’t have a curfew anymore—I didn’t need one. And make-up? Right. Like I had anyone to look good for anymore.

Edward looked at me, surprised. “I doubt anyone could forget how you look like,” he said to me, his voice barely audible. I didn’t know whether to take it as an insult or a compliment. Instead, I turned the tables around on him.

“How about you, Edward? I heard you were quite the hottie in high school,” I teased. I didn’t know whether Edward would appreciate this comment or not, but I took my chances. Thankfully, he laughed. “Where did you hear that?”

“From Alice.”

“It’s not like I wanted all the attention. In my opinion, I’m positively normal. I’m not particularly eye-catching,” he said seriously. “It never made sense to me why some girls thought otherwise.”

“On the contrary,” I murmured. “Have you seen yourself?”

Edward raised an eyebrow at me, his green eyes piercing into mine. “Have you?”

“What?”

After a fraction of a second in awkward silence, we both burst into laughter at our own confusion. Edward shook his head. “I meant, have you seen yourself?”

“Everyday when I wake up in the morning,” I told him grimly. He chuckled. “Honestly, Bella, don’t think so highly of me. Besides, Mike Newton asked you out, and he has very high standards.”

“How would you know?” I asked him suspiciously, wondering if he was just trying to humour me. Edward caught the look on my face and grinned. “He asked out Rosalie.”

My mouth opened slightly in surprise. I quickly clamped it shut, thinking it was rude. “H-he did? What did she say?” Edward cocked his head. “Don’t worry. There’s really no need to hide what you’re thinking from me.” I quickly continued, trying not to be swayed by his genuine sincerity.

“Okay. So what did she say?”

“She didn’t say anything. She just walked right past him without a word. That’s the worst rejection you can get from Rosalie Hale. You’d be lucky if she even makes eye contact with you if you ask her out.” I stifled a laugh, in awe at how brave Mike Newton was. “Wow. I guess Rosalie has even higher standards, huh?”

Edward sighed. “She seems quite content with that older man she’s dating, despite the fact that he has a child. But what can we do? Tell her not to do what she wants? I mean, she’s already eighteen, so it’s legal. I care for her as if she were my sister. I wish her all the best.”

I looked wistfully at Edward. It seemed like he was concerned and even a little anxious for Rosalie. I couldn’t help but notice that it was the way I felt when Renee had fallen head over heels for Phil, who was so much younger than she was.

“Don’t worry,” I reassured him. “My mother fell in love with a guy who was way younger than she is, but everything worked out. They’re happily married now.” There was no need to tell him about the doubts I had about their marriage, and how I hoped that Phil would take better care of my mom.

My thoughts went flew to my dad. It seemed like he never did get over Renee, what with the constant reminders of her in our house. I didn’t know if he had put them there for my sake, or he never actually took them away. I was thinking the latter. “But Charlie…” I sighed. I looked out the window.

“Wait… Edward… I forgot to ask… where are you taking me?” I felt stupid and embarrassed to even ask. Why shouldn’t I assume anywhere else but home? Edward didn’t seem to notice. “We’re going home, of course. You brought up Charlie at a good time.”

I stared at him, my eyes wide in panic. “Is Charlie hurt? Did something happen?”

Edward quickly shook his head. “No, of course not! When you and Alice were out, he came by to drop off the key to your new house so that you could move in as soon as possible. He also requested that I help you, in case you needed it,” he was grinning widely now. “He said you were a bit accident prone.”

I flushed. Why on earth did Charlie have to say that? Now I felt even more idiotic. “So what if I am,” I mumbled. “He didn’t have to go right out and say it.”

Edward laughed. I scowled out the window, wondering why he thought it was so hilarious. It was no fun tripping over your own two feet once you got out of bed. I decided to ignore his reaction. “I don’t think you would like it if you parents happened to mention not-so-desirable traits to random people,” I told him.

“My parents never have done that,” Edward replied evenly, “And I don’t think they ever will. We’re here now.” He parked into one of the garages next to the house. Alice followed suit just a minute later. “As you can see, I driver faster than Alice,” he said proudly as we got out of the car. Alice rolled her eyes, grabbing my arm and dancing into the house.

Jasper was sitting in the living room, plugged into his iPod. He had Architecture for Dummies in his lap, but there was a spiral notebook lying on top of it, as if trying to be concealed or hidden. Alice giggled and ran over to him, yanking the notebook away. “Aha!” Jasper looked flustered.

“I thought you needed to study!”

Jasper rolled his eyes and gestured for the notebook. “Alice,” he coaxed, “it’s not finished.”

“Oh.” Alice immediately dropped the notebook in his lap and walked toward me, pouting. “Bella, I already unpacked for you, and now we have to pack again? Ridiculous. Maybe I should give Charlie a call and persuade him to let you stay here. I mean, it’s more convenient.”

I shook my head, sighing. “Charlie needs me. He’s a horrible cook. I don’t want him to have to live off frozen dinners even while I’m here.” Alice stared at me for a moment, and then sighed as well. “Alright.”

Edward walked in behind us, running a hand through his hair. Jasper looked up from his notebook. “Edward,” he said, “Tanya called for you about ten minutes ago.” For a minute I thought Edward had blushed. “Did she say why?” Jasper shook his head.

“I wonder why she couldn’t reach me,” Edward murmured, then fumbled in his pockets for his cell phone. He checked it. “Oh, it was off. I’m an idiot.” Jasper smirked. Edward pressed the phone to his ear, and after a minute, I heard him say, “Hello, Tanya?” Alice let out a low, teasing whistle. Edward glared at her, walking into the kitchen.

She smiled at me. “Let’s go up to your room, Bella.” She grabbed my arm, leading me up the stairs. I complied. As I opened the door to my room, a gust of wind blew through the window, ruffling a few papers on my desk and giving the room a slight chill. I shut the window as Alice turned on the radio on my nightstand, dancing to the tune that came on.

A look of sadness crossed her face as she opened one of my drawers. “I’ll start here,” she said in a small voice. I could tell that she was upset about my leaving. “I was just getting to know you, Bella, and now you’re leaving?” she frowned at me as I put an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m less than a block away, Alice. See me whenever you want,” I promised her as she began taking things out of the drawer, handing them to me to put in the suitcase. “It would be much more convenient if Charlie just let you stay here,” she grumbled. “But I guess we can’t have everything.”

I gave her a sympathetic look. “Unless, of course, you don’t want to stay here,” Alice added. I gave her a shocked look. “Of course I want to stay here, Alice! But you know that Charlie needs me. He was the whole reason I came here in the first place.” Well, partly… not really. But I didn’t want to come right out and say it.

Alice gave me a smile and winked. “Kidding.”

She continued to hand me my shirts as I put them in every available place possible in the suitcase, trying to maximize the space. Alice looked at a shirt in disgust, as if the front of it was too much for her to bear.

“Alice,” I pleaded, “I know you have an impeccable sense of fashion,”—Alice smiled at this—“But please do not criticize one of my favourite shirts!”

Alice rolled her eyes as she held up the t-shirt. Something small landed on the carpet with a tiny thump. I froze, staring at the black square object as Alice looked curiously around for it. Her eyes widened as she saw it, and for a quick second, she looked at me. Then she picked up the velvety smooth, square box.

As I stared at it in her hands, I swallowed. Alice opened the box, her eyes growing wide, frozen to the object concealed inside. Then she stared at me, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Bella, what the hell is this!?” she demanded, her high soprano voice edged with a thick hint of confusion and even anger.

I shook my head, feeling dizzy. Stepping forward, I gestured to Alice to give the box back. She shook her head furiously, her eyes flashing, her face more confused than angry now. “Alice, please give it back,” I whispered, holding out my hand.

“No,” she said firmly. “Not until you tell me what’s going on. You’re engaged?” My heart was racing, my eyes filling with tears. I heard loud thumps coming up the stairs, and Alice sat frozen, watching me, her face weary as I felt like I was about to suffer yet another emotional breakdown.

Jasper swiftly strode into the room, his face anxious. “What’s going on, you two? I could hear Alice from downstairs!” Alice’s eyebrows pulled forward, her expression guilty as she kept her eyes on me, slowly turning the opened box toward Jasper, revealing its contents.

My sparkling, white gold, diamond engagement ring was set in the smooth velvet, glistening in the light. Jasper’s mouth dropped open, and his entire face turned red. “W-what is this?” he asked in his quiet voice. Alice’s eyes widened as she quickly clamped the box shut, turning away. “Jasper Whitlock, did you just think that I proposed to you?” she teased in a quiet voice that matched his own.

I was temporarily led astray from my thoughts as I stifled a giggle, Jasper turning even more red. “No,” he said quickly, Alice winking at him. “Just kidding.” Jasper shook his head in disbelief. “Mary Alice Brandon, you will be the death of me,” he muttered, leaning against the frame of the door. Alice stuck her tongue out at him.

“It’s mine,” I said quietly, still feeling light-headed.

“What?” Jasper asked, his face turning shocked again. Another pair of footsteps could be heard, coming up the stairs at a rapid pace. Edward was grinning as he went to stand beside Jasper. “I just talked to Tanya,” he said. “Apparently, she was at the grocery store and overheard Mike Newton tell Eric Yorkie that I was going out with ‘some girl named Bella’. I guess news travels fast after all. But I told her that the rumours were completely false. After that, she asked me out for coffee.”

The lump reappeared in my throat, my heart quickening, I supposed, in response to realizing that I would have to tell everyone the truth. Alice stared at Edward wordlessly. Jasper looked unimpressed. “No offence, but even I can see the wrong in that. Why didn’t you ask her out? You need to keep up appearances, Edward.” Edward rolled his eyes and stared from me to Alice.

“Where’s the funeral…” he asked, completely oblivious. Alice flipped the black velvet box open once more and showed it to Edward. Edward’s face pulled into a blank expression. “Will you please stop doing that?” I said softly to Alice as I covered my face put a hand to my temple.

“Sorry.”

“What’s going on?” Edward demanded. I couldn’t look at him in the state I was in.

I swallowed. There was no turning back now. I sat on the bed, covering my face with my hands before pulling my hair back. Everyone turned toward me, their faces ranging from concerned to expressionless.

“It’s mine,” I said. “The engagement ring is mine.”

“Wait, wh—”

“Please don’t ask any questions,” I interrupted, hoping my voice wouldn’t crack. “I guess I have no choice. I can’t hide everything from you guys forever.”

No one said anything, so I took this as my cue to begin.

“About a month after I visited Charlie, I met Jacob Black,” I said, hoping that my voice was audible. Tears were threatening to obstruct my vision. “Before I met him, my life was painfully boring. I wasn’t really close to anybody. I was never really social. I kept to myself, and I took care of my mother when her new husband was away.”

I looked up, wiping stray tears with my hand. Alice, Edward, and Jasper were all staring at me nervously now, as if they were holding their breaths.

“From the moment I met him, I was stolen. He was the complete opposite of me—fun-loving, free-spirited, wild. He was everything I’m not. He was dangerous. But he was just what I needed. I couldn’t believe it when he asked me to go out with him. Everyone else was shocked, too. I felt like for once, I was accepted. Loved for who I was. Wanted. I started to get out into the world, and he gave me a push. I wouldn’t have met a lot of people if it weren’t for Jacob.”

“I was crazy in love. Head over heels, even. In a matter of months, I wanted to be with him forever. My mother was happy that I had finally ‘found my place in life’—but she became too concerned when I became different. We didn’t fight much, though. I don’t know if she felt like she couldn’t say anything, because she married a man much younger than her. But I had a curfew. I snuck out. When Jacob drank, I drank. We went to a lot parties.”

“It wasn’t until a little under a year that things became really serious—for the both of us. My mother just became more and more concerned. I didn’t care. We became convinced that it was the world against us; that the only way we could truly be together was when we were away from everyone else.”

“We planned our runaway two weeks before hand. He convinced me it would work. He said, ‘Please, Bella, please, it’s the only way we can be together.’ I believed him. So one night, while Renee and Phil were out to dinner, I packed a bag of my most precious belongings and left a note for them, promising them I was alright.”

“We left on his motorcycle. We figured we’d head toward California or somewhere near the west. And after a couple of days…” I paused, staring back down at the box Alice held loosely in her hands. “He proposed to me. I don’t know how he got the money to buy the ring. I didn’t know a lot about what he did—he never told me, and I never asked. It was like I didn’t want to know.”

“He promised me that we were headed to Vegas. We’d get married there. A part of me wanted to say something, but I held back. I tried to reassure myself that was what I wanted.”

“That night, we got drunk. Well, technically, he got drunk. I wasn’t in the mood to drink—I was worried about Renee, and how she was probably frantically searching for me. I worried if Phil would take proper care of her. Anyway, Jacob got really drunk. I-I was a virgin, and I didn’t want to have sex until after marriage. Jacob had been pressuring me for some time, but I always shook it off, changing the conversation. I wondered how long I could possibly put it off.”

“He wanted to do it that night. He kept slurring that it was romantic, but in my eyes it was anything but. H-he got really aggressive. Jacob had never seemed that violent in my eyes. Sometimes he’d grab my arm, jerking me toward him, away from whatever I was doing. He protested that he playfully punched me, even when it left a bruise. It hurt, but I could see in his eyes that he really loved me.”

“That night, I gave in. I agreed we could have sex, but only because I was afraid. I was afraid he would hurt me, that he would hit me or something if I didn’t. But what he did afterward caused more damage that he could ever do physically.”

“I woke up, and I was alone. He wrote me a note, saying that he went out to get coffee. I waited for an hour, watching TV in the motel we were staying in. When I went to change into regular clothes, that was when I noticed all his stuff was… gone. His motorcycle, his clothes, everything. He up and left. It took about a good two hours to let it sink in that he was gone, and never coming back. I had never cried more in my entire life. I sat on the bed, crying until it was hard for me to breathe.”

“The police found me that night, lying broken underneath the covers, tears still falling from my eyes as I silently screamed into the pillow. When I came home a few days later, it turned out my mother has spoken to a therapist and the therapist suggested that we talk nothing of Jacob Black. Renee was only too happy to comply, and it helped me. She was comforting. But I didn’t want to talk. Phil suggested that I see a therapist, and sadly, she agreed. I do have to admit, I was a little out of control. When I went back to school, everyone looked at me like I was a freak.”

I cleared my throat, pausing. I could hear someone suck their breath in, as if about to speak, but I continued to let them know that I wasn’t done.

“Soon after, I was feeling… strange. I went to see the doctor, and the doctor told me that I had suffered a miscarriage,” My voice was cracking now. I didn’t know if I could continue. “I didn’t tell Renee. I didn’t tell anyone. There was a doctor confidentiality agreement, you know, how they can’t reveal any patient information after you turn sixteen? So I didn’t need to worry about that.”

I could tell Alice couldn’t take it anymore. She sighed and wrapped her arms around me, and I could tell that she was struggling to fight back tears, as well. “I am so, so sorry, Bella,” she whispered into my ear. Jasper put an arm around me, and Edward sat on the other side of me, rubbing my arm. I miserably hugged Alice, every drop of salt water on her shirt to remind me of all those tears I cried not too long ago, when my life had fallen apart, and when I struggled to just leave the pieces alone and move on.

-

Poor Bella. ): Thanks for reading, everyone! Please review, let me know what you think! –hands out chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream cones- :D And it started raining right after I finished this chapter and took down the laundry! How excellent! (:

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Chapter: 8

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

Wow! All the reviews for the last chapter blew me away! Thanks for the support, everyone. It makes me extremely happy and grateful to have this kind of response. I appreciate it.

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Eight: We’ll Get Lost Together

I shut my eyes and let myself drift to sleep as Jasper and Edward helped Alice put me in bed. I was numb, letting them straighten out my legs, Alice smoothing back my hair. I could hear their muted comments. They seemed to far away, as if surreal, in a dream, but they were definitely there.

“We need to call Charlie.”

“No! We are not telling him anything! Do you know how much that would hurt Bella?” Alice asked in a harsh whisper. “She’s already been through enough for tonight. We don’t need Charlie getting on her back.”

“Of course we’re not going to tell him anything. We just need to tell Charlie that Bella had a long day; you took her out to Port Angeles. So she fell asleep, and we don’t want to wake her,” came Edward’s velvety voice. “At least the last part is true.”

“I’ll make the call, then.” The phone rang at the same time.

“I’ll get it,” Jasper said. “I think that’s my mom. She told me she’d call.”

I could hear the stiffness in Alice’s voice. “That’s nice. What did she want?”

“She just wanted to see how I’m doing,” Jasper said calmly as I heard two pairs of footsteps walk out the door. That left me alone, with one person. I could only guess who it was. I felt myself wanting to drift away, to fall into unconsciousness. But his presence sent an unexpected wave of anxiety and excitement through my body.

I wondered what Edward thought of me now. I was completely naive and foolish, and I had opened up to them a part of me that made me especially vulnerable. I didn’t want to open my eyes; to see the pity on his face, on Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, or Emmett’s faces when they found out. I could only imagine the tension that would hang in the air every time they saw me.

I suddenly longed to be away from them, to be alone, in a house by myself. I was only too eager to hop up and move to Charlie’s new house now, where no one would take any notice in me and I could keep to myself. Yes, I was only too eager, but I sat frozen in place, my eyes shut tight, my hands balled up into fists under the sheets.

And suddenly I felt a cool hand stroke the hair out of my face, which was still damp with tears. An electric shock ran through my body. I probably looked like a complete mess, but it was too late to think of that now. It was only too easy to think of Edward now as my own personal hero. I swore I could hear my name on his lips, but to my disappointment, he was interrupted by the sound of his cell phone.

“Shit,” he murmured, and he rose, easing up the weight on the bed. I suddenly longed for his cool hand to touch my face one more, to comfort me. But the phone continued to ring, and he flipped it open. “Tanya,” he said softly as he walked out of the door.

I sighed and rolled over in bed. He had that dinner to go to with her. At least that was one less person to witness Rosalie and Emmett’s reactions to my complicated past. I groaned as I thought of what they would say. I could picture the look of horror on Rosalie’s beautiful face; all humour in Emmett’s suddenly gone, replaced by sympathy and pity.

Did I really want anyone to pity me? No. I didn’t want it at all. I had been so miserable these past few months, mourning for myself, for the unborn baby, for Jacob, who was probably miles away, zooming by on his motorcycle, and for the guidance counsellors who tried to help but couldn’t get past the brick wall I had built around myself.

The minutes ticked by as I stared at the digital clock on my nightstand, trying to get my thoughts in order. Would Alice and everyone else continue to stare at me as if I was a ticking bomb that would explode at any moment, if I would just burst into tears and have a nervous break down? Now that I had told them everything, I felt it would be much, much easier to start over. But I couldn’t help but have doubts.

Don’t worry about it, Renee’s voice appeared in my head. They’ll completely understand. I wished I could know for sure. I wanted nothing more than to see my mother’s face, to talk her out of her new child-like experiences. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for running off with Jacob, being so irresponsible, and not being there when she really needed me; when Phil couldn’t be with her.

She was familiar; and she was all it took to remind me that I was new to everyone in this house, a stranger. I was in a familiar house without a single familiar face. And maybe my past made them see me in a whole different light. Maybe that was all I would be. A stranger.

-

I heard the sounds of the beautiful piano up in the attic. It was a song, as comforting to me as a lullaby, as beautiful as a singer’s voice in my ear. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, I heard the music stop and then continue, never ceasing, as if it was there to support me, to be a comfort blanket. I had never heard it before, but it felt so familiar. I was sure of who was playing it, and right now, it was as comforting as if he had hugged me, stroked my hair out of my face, or reached for my hand.

-

I awoke as the music abruptly stopped, the player hitting a wrong key, as if by accident. The hard-hit, sharp notes continued again, as if the player was frustrated. I could only wonder what was going on through Edward’s head at that moment. Deciding that I was sick of sleeping, I got up and made my way downstairs. I could hear the quiet voices of Emmett, and Rosalie.

I wondered if they were talking about me as I approached the kitchen, their voices getting quieter with each step. I paused and leaned against the doorway as they both looked up.

“Hey,” Rosalie greeted easily, stepping toward me and putting an arm around my shoulder, guiding me to the island. I thought that was nice of her, but entirely unnecessary. I sat down as she said, “We heard what happened. And I am so, so sorry.”

Emmett nodded in agreement. “As long as you’re okay with it, I’d like to kick his ass,” he offered, a wide grin spreading across his face. Even I had to laugh at it. “Thanks Emmett, but that’s entirely unnecessary.” Emmett shrugged. “Alright. But the offer still stands.”

I could see the concern in their eyes and I felt the need to look away. I ran a hand through my messy unkempt hair. “I know you guys are concerned, and thanks. But I’m fine, really.” Rosalie’s eyes flashed in doubt, but I brushed it off. Emmett noticed the lingering tension and decided to change the subject.

“Hey, we’re kind of understaffed at Starbucks. It’s Port Angeles’ busiest time of year, so we’re hiring more people. So far, no takers,” he shook his head and then looked at me. “Do you need a job, Bella? It’d be great to work with you.”

Rosalie rolled her eyes. “I believe Bella came here to relax and spend some time with her father, not to work,” she said scathingly.

“I believe I wasn’t talking to you.”

I didn’t want another bitter argument to erupt, so I jumped in. “I’ll think about it Emmett, thanks. It’d be nice to make some money,” I smiled at him. Emmett looked relieved. “Thanks.”

I was glad the subject of my past didn’t continue. I didn’t want them to carry my burden as well. It felt somewhat easy to talk to Emmett and Rosalie, who didn’t ask questions. They seemed like the type of people who spoke with actions more than words. Of course, their arguing said otherwise.

Rosalie’s cell phone rang. “Greg,” she said, overjoyed, as she checked the caller id. I saw Emmett’s jaw tighten. “This guy might be a total sleazebag,” he muttered. “What if he’s some kind of pervert…?” Rosalie’s eyes flashed in anger as the phone continued to ring. “Emmett, I’ve always been supportive of who you’ve gone out with. They’ve always been total airheads, but I never said anything. Return the favour, would you?”

Emmett’s mouth was wide open as Rosalie answered her phone. “Don’t cut that crap with me, Rosalie Hale,” he said as she batted her eyes and giggled into the phone. I shrugged as he looked at me in disbelief. I felt this becoming an uncomfortable situation, so I excused myself and headed to my room to go back to sleep.

As I passed Alice’s room, I could hear two voices arguing inside behind the closed door. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, to pass right on through, but the voices sound so stressed and even angry that I became worried.

“I just don’t understand” came Alice’s tearful voice. “Why doesn’t she like me, Jasper? What have I done wrong?”

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Jasper said in a soothing voice. “She’ll come around eventually.”

“I can’t believe she’s coming… here,” Alice whispered. “Again. What is she trying to do, make sure you haven’t become a drug-addict or alcoholic?”

“Of course not,” Jasper said, sounding a bit shocked. “She just wants to see that I’m keeping up with my studies. The Dartmouth scholarship I have means everything right now.”

“I’ve tried so hard to make her like me. And it’s not enough.”

“Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you’re trying too hard.”

Alice sighed. I took a step back, feeling uncomfortable. I had no idea who they were talking about, and it wasn’t any of my business. I quickly went into my room and shut the door. I stared at my bed for a long time, and then decided I was no longer tired. I began to finish what was started by putting the rest of my clothes in my suitcase.

I heard a door open and then footsteps thumping down the stairs.

“Bella,” Alice called. “You can come in now.”

I was shocked that she had known I was there. I considered denying it, but Alice’s voice sounded so sombre I felt the needed to comfort her instead of having it the other way around. I got up and walked to her room, shutting the door behind me.

Alice was sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around her legs, a sad smile on her face. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m great, thanks,” I said gratefully. “Thanks for everything, Alice.” Alice nodded and stared out the window. “I’m sorry I listened to your conversation,” I blurted out, no longer able to stand the silence between us after a few minutes.

“It’s alright,” Alice laughed softly. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

“Alice, are you alright?” I asked urgently. For once, maybe just once, we could focus on her problems instead of my own.

Alice’s eyes locked with mine until she stared at bedspread. “Jasper’s mother is coming to town.”

So Jasper’s mother was who Alice and Jasper were talking about. A million questions ran through my head. One of which couldn’t be answered—why did Jasper’s mother dislike Alice? It seemed like Alice was most likeable person around.

“She doesn’t like me,” Alice continued. “Never has. She made it quite clear the last time she visited.” I gave her a sympathetic look. “I find that hard to believe,” I said quietly, not sure if it was appropriate to interrupt.

Alice smiled. “Thanks. But it’s true.”

“Why does she dislike you? Everyone else in this town seems to think otherwise,” I continued as Alice’s face looked more and more upset. It was a long time before Alice spoke.

“She doesn’t live here,” she joked. I smiled at her response. Her face looked put out again as she stared out the window. “I believe she thinks I’m a spoiled brat.” I looked at her, surprised. “Spoiled brat?” I repeated.

“Well, I do have ‘an unhealthy addiction to shopping’ as Emmett once put it,” Alice said, and I was glad to see she was at least getting some humour out of the situation. “But I’ve never really been spoiled. I mean, I never asked my parents to be rich. They’re really poor excuses for parents. And money is really the only thing they can give,” Alice said seriously as she traced the prints of the bedspread.

I remembered about Alice’s parents never really being around much, and I wondered if that was what she was referring to. But she went on, and I listened so that I could keep up. “I think Mrs. Whitlock thinks I’m going to change him somehow, turn him into a snob. Is she kidding me? He’s a stubborn one, that Jasper.” I laughed.

“Mrs. Whitlock was so uncomfortable around me the last time she visited,” Alice sighed. “The moment she found out I was the daughter of a surgeon and a TV show host, she became cold toward me. Jasper told me that money’s always been an issue in their family. They’ve had to scrape by for the past five years. They nearly sold his precious guitar once,” Alice whispered, almost tearfully. “Mrs. Whitlock probably thinks I’m going to treat him like a charity case or something.”

I shook my head as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Oh, Alice,” I said. “It’ll be alright.” She gave me a tiny smile and said, “Do you want to know a secret, Bella?”

Paired with her voice, it sounded almost child-like, but her eyes were so wide and hopeful that they reminded me of my mother’s, and I certainly couldn’t say no to a face like that. I was tired of keeping secrets, but what was one more?

“You know when I said that I didn’t like Jasper?” she asked in a low voice, as if the mentioned would come bursting in the room.

“Yeah?”

“I lied.”

I couldn’t say that I was surprised. But I raised my eyebrows for her benefit. She gave me a coy smile and said, “I’ve liked him for awhile, Bella. And it’s okay, I can tell you’re not surprised. I’ll look the same way when you fess up about Edward.” I opened my mouth in protest, but Alice interrupted.

“I really like Jasper. I know he likes me too, but he’s too shy to say anything,” Alice announced. She didn’t sound conceited or arrogant at all. She sounded firm and confident, as if she were seeing it right out of the future. I couldn’t say that I disagreed with what she said, either.

“Then why don’t you ask him out?”

“I can’t, Bella. I can’t do that. Dartmouth means everything to him. If I distract him from work and his studies, his mom will hate me even more. And she’ll think I’ll treat him like a charity case, going Dutch on dates,” Alice’s eyes filled with tears now. I didn’t think that Jasper’s mom cared so much about them going Dutch on dates. But I pushed those thoughts aside, smoothing Alice’s hair.

I couldn’t help but think that Alice already distracted Jasper. Their unspoken bond and caring for one another made my eyes fill with tears at their seemingly impossible romance. “Don’t cry, Alice,” I whispered. “You’ll make me cry, too. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I didn’t want you to know that.”

“I figured that you were one.”

Suddenly the door burst open, and Rosalie took one look at our crying and laughing fest, and closed the door behind her. “What is with the tear fest?” Alice told her everything as Rosalie’s eyes grew wider. A short while later she joined in. “G-Greg called and cancelled our date,” Rosalie wailed between the laughs and tears. “I can’t believe I’m crying over a boy! I mean, man!” We had to laugh at that, but then Alice started to cry some more as she thought about Jasper’s mother visiting.

I had to admit, I laughed more than I actually cried. Maybe I was all cried out. Maybe I no more tears to cry. But in truth, I was relieved to be laughing. It felt good to feel close to people that actually seemed to like me for real. I never had any real close friends, especially girlfriends, much to the dismay of my mother. I felt that for once, I finally fit in.

-

“Alice?” I asked later that night as I helped her cook dinner. Jasper worked for an antiques and furniture store, and was called by his boss to deliver a table to Port Angeles. Rosalie and Emmett were playing Mario Kart Wii, which Rosalie claimed to be good at. I watched for awhile as the water boiled, and had to admit most of their races were pretty close.

Edward had been in and out of the house, claiming to be running a couple of errands. As Alice and I cut up some vegetables for a Caesar salad, he was currently in his room. I caught him on his way out to the post office. “You play the piano really beautifully,” I remarked. “What was the name of the song? It actually helped me get to sleep.” Edward grinned. “Thanks. Oh, and that’s for me to know, and you to find out?”

I stared at him in frustration as he swiftly left the house. Why was it so damn difficult to just tell me the name of a song?

Alice turned her head as she dumped some pasta into the now-boiling salted water. “Yes?” I paused, thinking about what I wanted to say. Alice looked at me curiously.

“Edward’s helped me, well sav—well, he’s helped me three times already. Does he usually act that way around total strangers?” I couldn’t help but ask. Edward seemed at ease around me already.

“Only you, Bella,” Alice teased. I shook my head, indicated that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. Alice shrugged, a serious expression appearing on her face. “I do think that he feels he can relate to you, Bella,” she said in a soft voice.

“How…”

Alice laughed. “You’re not the only one with a past.”

I was confused. “What do you mean?” Alice sighed, folding her arms across her chest and leaned against the counter. “Edward may want to tell you this himself but…” she sighed again. “You may think that he’s crazy if he becomes extremely close or observant of your actions.”

“Crazy? Yeah, I already think he’s crazy for reaching out and helping a total nutcase like me,” I joked. I liked how I could actually crack jokes without feeling badly about it now. Alice smiled warmly at me.

“Well, as I mentioned before, my parents were never around much. My father was a surgeon, and my mother was a host of a traveling show. We moved around a lot, but it was like I was really the only one living in the houses me moved into. I don’t know how Carlisle Cullen did it, but he and my dad became close. I guess you could say my parents were workaholics,” she straightened out her shirt. “They always thought money could fix everything. Of course, it couldn’t.”

“When I was sick of moving around, I decided to call Edward, who was one of the only few friends I decided to keep in touch with. We made a plan, and my father agreed to let me move in with Edward’s family for a bit. My mom wasn’t even in the country at that time.”

“Shortly after, I found out that Carlisle and Esme Cullen weren’t Edward’s biological parents. In fact, they were his aunt and uncle,” she paused. “Edward’s father used to beat his mother, Elizabeth.” This piece of information was difficult to process. As if it didn’t fit with Edward’s life now…

“Edward was very young, but he witnessed everything. His father used to get drunk and beat his mother. Edward was beat once in awhile, too. And then one day, his father left. Just like that. His mother felt somewhat sad, but mostly relieved. She felt they could have a fresh start in life. They moved to Chicago, to live near her sister, Esme,” Alice lowered her eyes. “A few months later, she died in a car crash.”

I stared sadly at the kitchen floor. I felt horrible for Edward, and everything that he’d gone through. But I felt a sudden wave of appreciation. It seemed like he managed to get over it.

“So I guess that’s why he feels connected to you,” Alice said. “He wishes that he could have helped his mother. But he was so young; there was nothing he could do. Elizabeth Masen sounded so brave. Edward doesn’t want to become the monster that he feels his father was. So he’s constantly reaching out to people, but now, to you, especially.”

I looked at her wordlessly. There was so much about Edward that I didn’t know, yet I had poured out my heart to him, about everything. “Please don’t pity him,” Alice requested politely. “He really doesn’t need it.”

Maybe I should have a conversation with him about himself before he could save me again, should I need saving. As if Alice could read my mind, she laughed. “There’s a lot about Edward Anthony Masen Cullen that you don’t know,” she observed. “Maybe you ought to ask.”

I nodded, robotically heading for the hallway. Alice shook her head as she watched me leave the room, picking up where I left off with the vegetables.

Just as I reached the staircase, Edward emerged at the top in a suit, his bronze hair still messy as if untameable. His green eyes met mine for a moment. He smiled. “How do I look?” I could only smile like an idiot at him.

Rosalie appeared next to me. “You know, Edward, you clean up pretty good,” she remarked as he made his way down the stairs. “Thanks,” Edward laughed in reply. Rosalie and I followed him to the living room, joined by Alice who shot me a look.

“Tanya and I aren’t going for coffee, we’re going out to dinner,” Edward announced with that crooked grin of his. Alice eyed his suit critically. “Honestly, Edward, that suit was so last year. Do you need a little wardrobe update?” Edward rolled his eyes in response.

Rosalie opened her mouth to speak, but Edward interrupted. “I won’t be home until late, so don’t wait up for me in case you want details.” Rosalie frowned at him. “But Edward, it’s tradition!”

“It’s about time someone broke it.”

“Looking to get some tonight, Edward?” Emmett winked. Rosalie punched him in the arm. “Ow,” he glared at her. Edward turned bright red and glared at Emmett. He checked his watch. “I have to leave. See you later, guys.”

Emmett let out loud whoops and hollers as Edward went into the kitchen. Alice gave me a sympathetic smile and whispered, “You can talk to him tomorrow.” Rosalie picked up her steering wheel controller and gave Emmett a smirk. “Let’s race.”

“Okay, you guys, I’m off,” Edward emerged from the kitchen, exiting out the front door. “Good luck!” Rosalie called after him.

I felt a sudden wave of nostalgia. For some reason, I was reminded of Jacob. It was only after he left that I felt like I didn’t really get to know him. Then, like now, I missed my chance. But unlike the first time, this time, with Edward, I actually had a second chance. There was hope. And this time, I wasn’t going to give up.

-

I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I was kind of worried that I wouldn't be able to get anything done for you, since it's exam time for me, but I pulled through! Yay! I appreciate all the positive feedback you guys have given me! -hands out lollipops- Thanks for reading! Please review (:

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Chapter: 9

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

Thanks for the reviews, you guys! Here’s a longer chapter for you. Sorry about the somewhat late update.

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Nine: Like Father, Like Daughter

“Bella, do you think these plates are a bit too plain? How about these floral ones? Too girly?” Alice asked me with the slightest hint of panic in her voice. I looked them over for a moment, and then stared at the price tags attached. “Please, don’t get either.”

Alice looked at me in disbelief. “Are you serious? These are the only two plates I found decent in the entire store.”

“Have you seen the price tag?” I asked her dryly. “You can get something equally as nice for, I don’t know, say, 100 less?”

We were in one the only china and glassware store in Forks. By the looks of it, we were also the only customers in the store on that bright and early Monday morning. It had been just over a week that I had come to Forks, and I began to feel comfortable. I’d hardly interacted with the townsfolk, but now, with Alice, it was practically unavoidable. They had already established me as Charlie’s quiet anti-social daughter, but that didn’t stop them from trying to get me to spit a few words out. In truth, I would much rather prefer if they’d just leave me and my anti-social self alone.

Charlie, strangely enough, was only too happy to let me stay at the boarding house for awhile longer. He seemed pleased that I had started to make some friends. I also sensed that he wanted to let me stay at the old house for sentimental reasons, or that I was still sensitive about his choice. There also seemed to be another reason, but I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it…

I didn’t have much time to think about it throughout the week. Alice kept me on my toes, buying new bedspreads, pillows, bath towels, silverware, all for Mrs. Whitlock’s arrival the following week. Alice was trying so hard to please her, I felt bad. I wasn’t even the greatest shopping companion, and I wondered why she hadn’t asked Rosalie along. But Rosalie’s thoughts were filled with nothing but Greg, and I was glad for something to do, anyway.

“Oh, come on,” Alice protested as she held up the floral plate, waving a hand as if to dazzle me with its greatness. “These match the forks and spoons exactly!” I rolled my eyes. “The forks and spoons are silver, Alice.”

“I know. They’re neutral. Aren’t they perfect?”

I learned now that Alice was the shopaholic—she had special discounts and memberships with practically every store in Forks and Port Angeles, and she had connections to a few noted designers. She had told me all about it when she suggested ‘shopping therapy’ the day after my break down. I refused the shopping therapy, but agreed to help her with preparations for Mrs. Whitlock’s arrival after I saw the look on her face.

I sighed. “Alright, if you think they’re worth it, I can’t stop you.” The truth was I wanted to get out of that store. I couldn’t stand Mrs. Stanley’s eyes boring holes in the back of my head any longer.

Alice looked at me, then back at the plates and silverware in the basket she was carrying. “Maybe we should go to Port Angeles. They have a larger selection there,” she whispered so that Mrs. Stanley wouldn’t hear. “Plus, we can visit Emmett and Edward and Rosalie! Maybe we can even stop by home so that we can pick up Jasper.” She smiled at me as she began putting the plates and silverware back.

On the way to the door, Mrs. Stanley raised her eyebrows at us. “Having trouble making a choice, ladies? Would you like me to help you?”

Alice flashed her cute smile at her. “No, I just forgot my wallet at home,” she said in a believingly apologetic tone. “We’ll come back later.”

Mrs. Stanley stared at me for a long moment. I looked anywhere but at her. “I’m glad you’re here, Bella,” she finally spoke. My eyes met hers for a brief moment, confused. “I’m glad one of his family members will be witnessing this beautiful time in his life,” she continued with a knowing smile. I almost frowned, but quickly covered it up.

What was I supposed to say, thank you? You’re welcome? Was it actually such a big deal that Charlie had turned the house that I had first lived in when I was born into a boarding house? That he seemed to have finally let go of my mother in that aspect, by buying a new house?

Alice nudged me in the ribs. I gave Mrs. Stanley a weak smile and nodded. “See you later, Mrs. Stanley,” Alice called over her shoulder as she shoved me out the door. I opened the passenger door of her Porsche and slid in. “What was that?” I demanded as she and I fastened our seatbelts.

Alice shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. I wasn’t surprised, though. Mrs. Stanley acts like she knows everyone’s business. She’s the town gossip; I wouldn’t expect any less of her.” I nodded and could only stare out the window.

“Hello?” Alice responded to the ring of her cell phone as she backed out of the parking space. Why parking spaces were needed for a small china shop was beyond me.

“Oh crap, that sucks,” Alice continued, throwing a quick glance at me before staring back out the windshield. “It’s so typical Emmett and Rosalie. They’re acting like two year-olds; this is just ridiculous.”

“Alright… I think so… I don’t think my Porsche can handle it, Jasper! Let me ask Bella,” Alice covered the mouthpiece of her cell and turned to me. “Bella, quick question: you own a truck, right? Do you mind if we use it for one of Jasper’s deliveries? Edward left early—I didn’t think he’d be able to stand Emmett and Rose’s bickering any longer. Plus they left in their own separate cars, and Jasper usually uses Emmett’s jeep…”

“Sure,” I agreed. “But I warn you, my truck doesn’t go very fast… it’s pretty old.” Alice waved it off, saying that it was no matter. She agreed to drop me off at Charlie’s new house while she drove back to the boarding house. She and Jasper would wait for me there.

As we pulled up the curb, I examined the house. It was more modern, but seemed tinier somehow. The police cruiser was parked in the driveway, and I wondered why Charlie wasn’t at the station, which practically was his home. There was a garage next to the house, in front of the cruiser, and I assumed my truck was in it.

Alice drummed her fingers against the steering wheel as I sighed. “I guess I’ll have to go ask Charlie to open the garage. I’m amazed that he kept my truck and didn’t sell it for parts by now,” I joked. Alice didn’t seem to be amused. In fact, she looked distracted.

“Alice?” I said, waving a hand in front of her face, her expression glazed over. I glanced in the direction just as Alice broke out of her trance. “Wait, Bella. Don’t look.” Of course I just had to do the opposite of what she told me.

Standing on the porch was my father and a woman with shoulder-length black hair, holding hands. My eyed widened in shock as Charlie leaned in, kissing the woman. After they broke away, she threw her head back, laughing. Charlie smiled at her, still holding onto her hands. My entire body went numb, and suddenly my throat felt dry.

I couldn’t deal with confrontation (with the exception of the truth of the boarding house) especially not with Charlie. It had been an uncomfortable experience discussing anything remotely serious or problematic. We tended to steer away from those topics. Now, from what I had seen, it seemed unavoidable. But I was never good at holding up arguments; I usually broke down and cried through the middle of it. And I wasn’t about to embarrass myself. I wasn’t about to be a brat.

Alice glanced at me, her face sympathetic. “Bella? Are you alright?”

I sighed, my eyes filling with tears. I blinked them back quickly, trying to avoid a tear-fest. Alice’s hand automatically reached for the tissue box, but I stopped her. “Don’t, Alice. It’s alright. Listen; can we just come back later? I’m so sorry; I hope Jasper won’t be mad.”

Alice shook her head. “Don’t worry; the delivery isn’t due until tomorrow. Jasper just likes bringing his early; he loves seeing the looks on peoples’ faces when they get their things sooner than they expect it,” she smiled, as she started to continue down the street. As we sped past the house, I looked back, wondering if Charlie and the woman were still there.

They were, and they were still holding hands. Charlie looked so happy. Why couldn’t he tell me about this woman sooner? They definitely didn’t seem like a new item. Why did he have to hide it from me?

Of course he wouldn’t have told me. He didn’t think I was coming back. I had avoided all talk about coming back during our rare phone calls. I had skipped out on meeting with him because I wanted to be with Jacob, to have nothing separate us. I was afraid that while I was off visiting, Jacob would find some new girl, someone better to be with.

No matter how I looked at it, it was kind of a mirror reflection of me. I had avoided telling Charlie about Jacob and what he did to me; why couldn’t I just come out with the truth? Why did I have to hide it from him? These were certainly questions that applied to both of us.

We were both keeping secrets. I guess I took after Charlie more than I ever thought I did.

-

“Huh,” I said when Alice and I got back to the house, the sun creeping just above the horizon. “So that was what Mrs. Stanley meant about this beautiful time in his life,” I said to Alice, a questioning look on her face. “She knew that Charlie was going out with that woman, Alice. But I don’t understand—this is a small town, how could this not have gotten around to you?”

Alice sighed. I hoped she wasn’t getting sick of my ranting. “Seriously, Bella, I don’t think that anyone else in the town knows. Mrs. Stanley knows everything about everybody, so I’m sure the news will get around soon enough. I’m almost as shocked as you are—I thought Charlie would forever stay a bachelor.”

She gave me a small smile as we started up the steps. “Don’t you feel even a tiny bit happy for him?” I hated to be selfish. But I couldn’t lie anymore. I shook my head. “I don’t know, Alice. In these circumstances, it’s hard to say.”

Alice shrugged. “Fair enough.” Jasper frowned as we walked in the door. “I guess it wasn’t possible to get the truck, was it?” he asked, peeking out the door at Alice’s lone Porsche.

“Nope,” Alice replied as I followed her into the living room. Rosalie and Emmett were there, Emmett lying lazily on one of the sofas while Rosalie wore a pair of sweat pants and a tank top, laying upside down, her legs on the back of the couch and her head barely dangling from the edge. She held a nail filer in one hand.

“They let us off early,” they said in unison, looking uninterestedly at the both of us as Alice leaned against a wall. “We were told some kind of big storm was coming, and they didn’t want us to get caught in it,” Emmett explained, his fingers intertwined as they supported his head.

“I don’t understand,” Rosalie grumbled. “The weather is perfectly fine.” Alice coked her head to the side and raised her eyebrows as thunder crackled and lightning lit up the dim room. She walked across the room to turn a large lamp on.

The weather just about matched my angry mood. I was still confused as ever about how to talk with Charlie about the current predicament; what had happened that day. I felt a level of hurt, discomfort. Charlie and I always had comfortable, unspoken agreements. But I wasn’t ready for this. I always counted on Charlie as the one thing that wouldn’t change. Now things would never be the same.

I started to walk out of the room, rubbing my temples as I did so. “Bella, are you alright?” Emmett asked. I managed to nod weakly, not looking back. “I’m just going up to my room,” I called over my shoulder, just so they wouldn’t worry about me.

I went to lie down on my bed. I stared at the ceiling, trying to picture the good things in life before they became so complicated. After awhile, I got tired of doing it, so I tried to fall asleep. But that certainly didn’t work—something was missing.

Strangely enough, I had the urge to play Edward’s piano. I was never one to keep up with lessons, so of course I didn’t know how. But just to hear the soft, beautiful keys was all I needed. Edward was the only one who played, as far as I was concerned. But he wasn’t here, and trying to match keys wasn’t that hard, was it? I decided to go up for the heck of it.

I ran my hand along the piano before I finally sat down on the bench. I paused for a long moment, knowing that all the racket I caused wouldn’t exactly be appreciated. Maybe I could play as soft as possible.

I started off slow, one key at a time, before taking on two, and then using both my hands. What I was playing didn’t make any sense, but it was helping. Every key I pressed down on, I thought about how Edward’s fingers swiftly moved from key to key, producing the beautiful lullaby I had once fallen asleep to.

Soon enough, my playing grew louder, some of the keys even hurting my own ears. But I began to enjoy it; maybe it was my own, weird way of letting loose. Besides crying, that is.

I heard a musical chuckle from behind me. “If you wanted to make dogs howl, all you had to do was ask,” he said, his velvety voice soft but yet audible from behind my noisy playing. I stopped abruptly, letting my hands fall to my sides. I knew exactly who it was.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered apologetically, my back still turned to him.

“The others were wondering what was going on up here,” Edward replied. I could hear the amusement in his voice now. I pictured the crooked grin on his face. I wanted to turn around and look, but I felt paralyzed, frozen. “I was the only one brave enough to investigate,” he teased, taking a step forward.

“Is that so?” I said shakily. His scent was becoming stronger now; it smelled too good to be cologne.

And suddenly his lips were barely an inch from my ear. I could feel his breath as he murmured, “What are you doing up here?” My heart started thumping loudly in my ears—or was that just the rain pounding on the window? Calm down, idiot, the voice in my head said. It’s just Edward.

“I-I don’t know,” I replied, sighing. “I’ve had a rough day; I just wanted to unwind.” Good, Bella. The only way you’ll be able to form coherent sentences is if you go slow and steady.

“So you took it out on the poor piano?” Edward laughed, now sliding onto the bench next to me, his arm grazing my own with an electric touch. He was close now, and the scent of his cologne wafted all around me. I blushed, staring down at my hands.

“Oh, I’ve done much more damage to other things and people,” I muttered as I finally turned to look at him, his green eyes locking with my own. And at that moment, I felt a wave of electricity run through my body. I felt almost an adrenaline rush as he laughed, smiling at me.

“Here. I can show you how to play that lullaby you keep bugging me about,” he grinned as he took both of my hands in his. The blush on my face deepened as I let him guide my fingers to the keys.

“I only asked you that one time,” I said to him in protest. “And I wouldn’t have to do this if you just told me the damn name of the song.” He chuckled again. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t tell you what it was,” he said to me as he lightly pressed down on my hands, making me press the keys in response.

I didn’t know what to make of what he said. I could only sit there as he guided one hand, then the other, pressing each key carefully. Each note began to come together to sound like the lullaby I heard on the night that seemed like yesterday. I stifled a laugh of surprise.

“It’s not that difficult, is it?” Edward murmured, his face a mere inches from mine since he had to move closer in order to help me. “Feeling better?” he asked. I looked at him in relief and slowly nodded. “Thanks, Edward. This is really, um, nice of you to do.” I closed my eyes as I listened to the lullaby, and I felt his hands press against my own as the music continued to play.

He stopped, letting the last note linger. I frowned, opening my eyes. It didn’t seem like the song was over yet. I turned to look at him, to demand why he had stopped so abruptly. Instead I found his green eyes locked with mine, his cool breath on my face as he stared at me, an unfathomable expression in his eyes. His hands dropped quickly to his sides, leaving my own resting on the keys.

I felt myself being magnetically pulled toward him, my arms shaking as they tried to reach toward him. I felt my eyes close and my body moving forward. I wanted to intertwine my fingers on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me. I didn’t feel like I had the strength to stop it, nor did I want to try. Suddenly my eyes opened as I realized what I was doing. The expression on his face was gentle, then embarrassed as he looked away. He touched his hand to my arm but swiftly took it back.

I was snapped out of my trance, feeling my face flush in embarrassment as he coughed, clearly uncomfortable. He stared straight ahead of him as he spoke. “So what had you down this time?” Edward wasn’t one to pry, and I knew this question was merely chosen to change the subject and ease the tension and awkward feeling in the room.

I sighed. “When I went to the new house to get my truck for Jasper, Alice and I saw Charlie with a woman,” I said softly, angling myself slightly toward him. He shook his head. “And I’m guessing you’re upset because he never told you about this?” Either he was reading my mind, or he was just very good at guessing.

I nodded slowly. “That’s part of it.”

“Enlighten me with the other part, if you will.”

“I’m thinking maybe that’s why he agreed so easily to let me stay here,” I explained, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. The corners of his mouth twitched. He was clearly amused. “And that’s a bad thing?”

“No,” I said, becoming frustrated. “I meant that… the old Charlie would’ve told me to come home. He would’ve at least tried to act like he wanted to spend more time together. He’s changed.”

“Change isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

“Whose side are you on?” I said, my eyes narrowing. Edward shook his head, still amused. “There are no sides. Bella, don’t you think it’s a good thing that he’s changed? He wants you to be happy. This woman is probably doing wonders for his mood.” I shrugged.

“Look, why don’t you just ask Charlie if you can move in? Tell him that you know about the woman. Confront him,” Edward suggested. “Just be calm and rational. Show him that you can be adult about it.” I shook my head. “It’s not that simple.”

“Not everything has to be complicated, Bella,” he murmured, staring straight into my eyes. I stared back into his, showing that I wasn’t about to argue about it. But I was going to be stubborn.

“I’ve never been good with confrontation,” I finally said to him as he broke away from the gaze. “If I get upset about the secret that he’s been keeping from me, I’ll feel guilty about the whole reason why I didn’t visit him—Jacob. And then I’ll have to tell him everything… I don’t want to hurt him that way.”

“Maybe you won’t hurt him. Maybe he’ll be happy knowing there was a reason for everything,” Edward replied, running a hand through his bronze hair.

“He wouldn’t understand,” I said stubbornly, shaking my head.

“I think he’ll understand better than you think,” Edward said, and I could tell he was struggling to keep it soft, controlled. “Don’t forget, Isabella Swan, that he had someone he loved walk out on him as well. Don’t forget that he’s probably gone through the same thing you have, all the pain and hurt. He didn’t have anyone there to talk to, Bella. He didn’t have anyone there for him. Maybe he’ll be happy that he can be there for you.”

I stared at him, speechless. I had given him the gory details on my parents’ divorce a couple of days earlier, when I had the chance to talk to him. I didn’t know he’d use them in this way.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Edward interrupted me. “You should be happy, Bella. He’s moving on—he’s found someone new. You need to be happy that the people you love are happy. When you don’t… that’s when you lose who you are.” He got up, his hand grazing up my arm to my shoulder. He turned away, taking a few steps before stopping.

“Edward…” his name came out in a shocked whisper. I felt my eyes brim with tears as if I’d been slapped in the face. The more I thought about his words, the more sense they made. He was right. I should give Charlie a fair chance to speak. But why was I crying? Why did his words hurt so much?

Could Charlie really understand?

I wasn’t sure if Edward had left already or not. I stood up, blinking back a few stray tears. I turned to see him standing at the top of the stairs, staring at me with those piercing green eyes. For a long moment, I stared back, a questioning look on my face. But his face held its own questions, questions for me that I knew I didn’t have answers for.

-

“Tanya’s coming over,” Edward announced as he flipped his phone shut. For a second, his eyes flashed to me, but as soon as I looked at him, he swiftly turned his head. Alice, sitting next to him, clapped her hands in obvious enthusiasm.

“Great! Just in time for dessert,” she squealed as she jumped up to bring the rest of the plates to Emmett and Rosalie, who were doing the dishes. I watched as Emmett succeeded in splashing Rosalie with soap suds and water. Rosalie rolled her eyes in disgust, but she seemed to enjoy it.

“Are you two going out again? It’s pretty late for you kids,” Jasper said as he sat back in his chair, closing his eyes for a brief moment. Edward shrugged. Alice looked at him. “What’s wrong, Edward? Not getting any?”

My mouth dropped open. Emmett dropped a plate in the sink which clattered nosily and hit a glass before falling into the soapy water, splashing the front of Rosalie’s apron. She glared at him. We all stared at Alice in shock.

“What? It’s just a question,” Alice said, looking as innocent as if she’d asked him how work went that day. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Alice,” Edward snapped. “She’s been working a lot lately. I haven’t had the chance to see her in a few days.”

“What, like, two?” Jasper chimed in, defending Alice. I sensed a fight brewing, and I didn’t want any more tension to build up in the house than what I’d already created. They needed a distraction, and quick.

“I guess I should call Charlie now,” I sighed. That was the first thing that popped out of my mouth. I couldn’t say that I was surprised, since that was all I could think about after the talk with Edward.

Emmett and Rosalie seemed to catch my drift. Or maybe they just wanted to know about the latest drama that was going on with me, the infamous drama queen. “You’re leaving, Bella?” Emmett demanded. I shook my head quickly. “I just need to call about something,” I replied, keeping my answer quick and general. I saw Alice, Jasper, and Edward’s heads turn toward me. Alice looked concerned, and I couldn’t figure out Edward’s expression. Jasper stared at me in interest as well. There was no doubt that Alice had already told him what had gone on earlier in the day.

Throwing a quick glance behind me, I walked out of the room just as I heard a car pulling into the driveway. I crossed the living room to peek out the curtain, and sure enough, Tanya was idling in the driveway. She had a perfect car, perfect hair, and perfect looks. I had no trouble understanding why Edward liked her so much.

I pulled back the curtain as she got out of her car. I stood there for a moment, trying to work out the pros and cons about calling Charlie. After seeing that there were less cons, I decided to call him. It was like ripping off a band-aid. Doing it quickly would make it as painless as possible.

I quickly dialled Charlie’s new number on the land phone. Just as I had suspected, he picked up. There was no use for him working overtime at the police station now that he had a girlfriend. Of course, the times before, when he made that excuse, he probably was with this new woman.

“Hello?” came Charlie’s voice, uncomfortable and rushed.

“Dad, it’s me. I mean, it’s Bella,” I stumbled, closing my eyes and shaking my head, wondering what to say next. I heard a door open and close, my back turned to the sound.

“Oh ,” Charlie said, sounding surprised. “What is it, Bells? Are you ready to come home? How’s everything going over there?” He sounded sort of eager.

“Everything’s fine here…” my mind was telling me to stall, but my instincts told me to just jump right into it. I put a hand to my forehead, smoothing back my hair. I sighed before continuing. “Actually, no, it’s not.”

“What’s going on?” Charlie demanded, his voice becoming serious. I looked toward the ceiling.

“Dad. There’s no use hiding anything from me anymore. I know about her, alright?” I said to him, my voice surprisingly strong. I waited for his response. Charlie was silent for a moment, but then said, “I’m not hiding anything from you, Bells.”

Bullshit, I wanted to say. But I knew it would just get me in trouble. “There’s no point in denying it, Dad. I know you’re seeing someone,” I replied. Charlie was silent for another moment.

“Bella—”

“Why did you have to hide it from me, Dad?” I demanded, my voice getting high-pitched and more upset by the second. “Is there some kind of problem? Will she not like me or something?”

“Bella,” Charlie said, his voice soft, still shocked. “No, that’s not it at all. I was planning on telling you when you moved back to the house, but you delayed it, so—”

“So you decided to delay it?” I finished for him. “That’s just great it. Nothing says fatherly love than lying.” I knew I sounded like a brat, but I had felt like I had enough.

“I never lied,” Charlie replied, suddenly defensive. “And don’t you talk to me like that, young lady. Helena has no problem with you. I never dreamed that you would act like such a child about this. You were always so mature, so adult, but now—”

“Now what, Dad?” I asked him, and I felt the tears, once again, fill my eyes. “Now I’ve changed, right? You’re not the first one to notice.” I walked to the corner of the living room now, sitting on one of the chairs. I kept my voice low so everyone couldn’t hear me in the next room.

“What’s going on?” Charlie said sharply. “You’ve never acted like this. I haven’t seen you in more than a year, now you’re different. What happened?” I felt a lump form in my throat. I wasn’t about to hurt Charlie. Not like this.

“Everything’s happened,” I whispered to him. “I can’t talk to you about it, Dad. I’m not ready. Okay? I just need time.” It didn’t take me long to spill my guts to everyone in this house.

“I’m worried, Bella,” Charlie’s voice was soft again, as if he had given up. “I’m not going to let you get away with this.”

“I just need time,” I said again, angrily this time. “You can’t force me. I just need time to collect my own thoughts, especially about this woman, Helena. Everything is so new; it just needs time to sink in. I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll talk to you when I’m ready.”

“I understand,” Charlie’s voice was low now, disappointed.

“I’ll be staying here until I’m ready,” I sighed, putting my head in my hands. “If that’s okay.”

“Take as much time as you need.”

“Bye, Dad.” I hung up the phone, my eyes still filled with tears that didn’t spill over. Not yet. I sat there for another moment. I never dreamed this would get out of control—everything was messed up. I felt weak now, as if I had drained all my emotional energy. I made my way back to the kitchen, where I found everyone, including Tanya, playing Texas Hold’em.

“Hello, Bella,” Tanya smiled at me. I smiled weakly back. “Come join us, Bella,” Alice said excitedly, patting the seat between her and Rosalie. “Are you any good?”

“Not really,” I admitted. “I almost always have to fold.”

“Well, it is a game where you have to take chances,” Edward spoke up, staring straight at me. He lifted one arm to put it around Tanya’s shoulders. I sighed. “No wonder I suck.”

Everyone laughed. But I wasn’t joking.

-

So what’d you guys think? And I hope a lot of you aren’t getting impatient for Bella/Edward fluff, it’ll come soon! Thanks for the support. Reviews are appreciated as always!

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Chapter: 10

Disclaimer: I pity the fool that thinks I own anything!

Thanks for the epic reviews, you guys! I’m glad you’re all enjoying the story. I work hard to please both myself and each and every one of you. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Another long one just for you. Ten chapter mark! Yay!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Ten: All I’ve Ever Known

“So why’d you come here?” I asked Edward as we sped down the highway in his Volvo, on the way to the airport in Seattle to pick up Mrs. Whitlock. That day had finally come, and the tension in the house was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Alice had bought all-new curtains, silverware, plates, bedspreads, pillows, you name it. She also bought herself a new outfit, and much to my displeasure, outfits for Rosalie and I, as well. I now tugged at the new cardigan and skirt she stuffed me into.

“I thought we went over that already,” Edward sounded just slightly surprised, giving me a quick glance before looking back onto the road. He looked comfortable in the pair of jeans and long-sleeved buttoned shirt Alice had forced onto him as well. I shook my head at him and folded my arms. “We didn’t.”

“I came for Alice. She needed me,” Edward explained, shifting in his seat. “Forks was just another town she thought she wouldn’t live in for very long. After awhile, it really grew on her. She hated to leave, so her parents agreed to let her stay here. Of course, when my parents found out, they were completely appalled. They couldn’t understand why Mr. and Mrs. Brandon would leave their daughter in a town all alone. Luckily enough, my father was eagerly accepted as the new doctor of Forks. So we all moved here. He was transferred back to Chicago, though, so that’s when I started living at the boarding house.”

I nodded slowly, trying to absorb the story. “Alice’s parents don’t sound too… parental,” I said, trying to fit the right word in. Edward shook his head. “They’re not. I don’t understand them at all. All I knew was that I had to help my best friend any way I could.” I tried not to press the issue. I knew Alice didn’t like talking about it much. I didn’t think Edward would be too appreciative of it either.

“Do you always do that?” I murmured, not looking at him. I could feel his eyes on me as he asked, “Do what?” I shook my head in disbelief. “You’re always saving people. Playing the hero.” I wanted to come out as regular teasing, but by the expression on Edward’s face, I could tell he took it quite seriously. “I’m no hero,” he said, his voice suddenly dark.

“It doesn’t seem that way to me,” I replied, a bit surprised at the sudden edge in his voice. “It’s like you have some kind of damsel-in-distress radar.” I saw him stiffen, and a lump appeared in my throat. I wanted to take that back.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said sharply, still not looking at me. “I’m no hero, Bella.” He placed emphasis on this repeated line.

“But you try,” I said softly as I sank in my seat. “That’s more than enough.” I sneaked a peek at his face. His eyes were wary, confused. He opened his mouth and was about to say something before he quickly shut it again. I sat up straight in my seat as his eyes met mine. I was willing to let the subject drop when he opened his mouth again, his face hesitant. “If I were a real hero, things would be entirely different right now.”

“How so?” I asked him quietly as I stared at his perfect features, his own eyes still watching the road. “For starters, my mom might’ve still been alive,” his said in a low voice, avoiding my gaze, as if he were talking to himself. “I could’ve done something to stop my father. I could’ve intervened. My mom wouldn’t have been scared all the time. I wouldn’t have heard her crying every night…” his face turned stony as he turned to me, his eyes wide as if he had only just realized I was sitting right there.

“Edward, stop,” I whispered. “Stop beating yourself up over a situation in which you were completely helpless.” His face softened as I let my hand rest on his arm. “You’re right,” he said. “It was in the past. But I wasn’t completely helpless.”

“Yes, you were,” I protested. “You were young—you didn’t know any better.”

“I’m guessing Alice gave you all the details?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. I nodded timidly before continuing. “You can’t let this kind of thing eat away at you.” He shook his head before a faint smile appeared on his lips. “Silly Bella. It’s easy for you to say.”

Surprised, I stared down at my hands and said nothing. As I looked back up, Edward was staring at me, his face apologetic. “Whoops. I was completely out of line to say that. I guess even heroes make mistakes,” I could hear the teasing in his voice, and I couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. I smiled at him as he chuckled along side me.

It wasn’t before long that I realized my hand was still rested on his arm. I stared at it for a split second before Edward looked at me and saw the same thing. I immediately blushed and turned away, lifting my hand to clasp it with the other in my lap. “We’re almost there,” Edward said, most likely to break the awkward silence that followed.

I nodded. I couldn’t stand the silence between us, so I finally spoke up. “How’s Tanya?” I had seen her and Edward once when Rosalie, Alice, and I had went to catch a movie in Port Angeles. It wasn’t at all awkward—more like embarrassing on Edward’s part when Rose and Alice had raised their eyebrows at him and made teasing ‘ooh la la’s.

“She’s been doing well,” Edward’s response was perfectly innocent, as if he were talking about the weather. “I’m guessing Charlie hasn’t found out who set her house on fire?” I shook my head. I hadn’t spoken to Charlie after the phone incident, and I wasn’t planning to anytime soon. “I’m not exactly the person to go to if you want to find out information on it,” I confessed. “You can just go straight to Charlie.” Edward nodded knowledgeably—I had already told him about the Charlie situation. Trying to steer the conversation in another direction, I went back to the only topic I didn’t want to talk about.

“So, I’m guessing after the teasing that Emmett and Jasper gave you, that you’re happy about finally being with her after all this time?” my voice was shaky, as if I didn’t want to know the answer. “I’ve liked her a long time,” Edward said simply. He glanced at his watch. “Jasper’s mother should be arriving in half an hour.”

I was glad for the subject change. For some strange reason, I found it difficult to really like Tanya. She was sweet, polite, with beauty that rivalled Rosalie’s, but there was something about her that got in the way of me wanting to know her better. I nodded at Edward. “You’ve met her before… right? How is she? Nice?”

He shrugged. “She’s perfectly respectable. She took a great interest in knowing about my parents, though. Or my aunt and uncle, I should say. The only thing I don’t like about her is the way she treats Alice.” I was concerned about this. Nothing could crush Alice’s optimism on Jasper’s mother liking her. Like I said before, she had pulled out all the stops for this visit. But Alice had mentioned that she thought Mrs. Whitlock didn’t like her because she thought she was a spoiled brat. I couldn’t help but think that buying a lot of new, sometimes unnecessary items for the home wouldn’t exactly make things better.

“I’d just hate to see Alice hurt.”

We arrived at the airport with twenty minutes to spare. In the few minutes that we were inside, I managed to trip over some poor old man’s suitcase. I winced in pain, my hand burning from when I used it to try to break my fall. Edward was immediately at my side, crouching down with an outstretched hand, offering to help.

“I hate being so clumsy,” I murmured, my cheeks pink as I accepted his hand and pulled myself up. The old man looked at me wearily, deciding I was fine, before walking away. A crooked smile was painted on Edward’s lips now, and he held my hand for a moment, whispering, “I think it’s quite charming.” I blushed, feeling a wave of excitement rush through me.

We were suddenly surrounded by a wave of people as a crowd exited from the nearest gates. One woman, short but taller than I, was waving at us with a smile. As we walked to meet her, Edward called, “Mrs. Whitlock! How was your flight?”

“It was fine. You’re looking well, Edward,” her voice was soft but firm. She stared straight into Edward’s eyes as she spoke. Edward nodded. “I am. And yourself?”

“Just lovely,” she said with a hint of southern accent.

Always the gentleman, Edward reached forward to grab her suitcase. I stood there, wondering if I should introduce myself. Before I could open my mouth to speak, Edward interrupted. “Mrs. Whitlock, this is Bella Swan.”

“Hello there,” she smiled warmly at me. The impression she gave led me to wonder how someone like her could possibly hate Alice, one of the nicest people I’d ever met and whose warmth could match her own. Nevertheless, I shook her hand.

The drive home was quiet; Edward kept polite but casual conversation with Mrs. Whitlock in the front. I was sitting in the back, my head pressed against the window, staring at the roads and cars as they sped past. Occasionally I would respond to one of Edward’s or Mrs. Whitlock’s questions, but I never really had anything to contribute.

When Edward turned the radio on, a familiar tune filled my ears. I closed my eyes as shivers were sent throughout my body, making me remember and ache. All I could hear was Jacob’s voice now…

“Aw, Bella, you actually like this song? I can’t believe you can stand this popular crap,” Jacob complained as I hummed along to the song. I stared at him, surprised. “This song isn’t really that popular, you know,” I replied, a bit stung.

He looked at me and smiled. “Sure it isn’t.”

I turned away, not caring to hide my hurt. “It’s one of my favourites.”

Jacob laughed, turning to brush the hair out of my face. “If you like it, then I like it,” he promised. I smiled at him. “Great. It’ll be the first song played at your birthday party.” He groaned and then leaned in to kiss me.

I suddenly felt cold. Shivering, I leaned against the window and closed my eyes. When I opened them, I saw Edward in the rear-view mirror take a swift glance at me then adjust the air conditioning. It didn’t help.

“Leave me alone, Jacob,” I muttered under my breath before I felt myself getting drowsy. Despite me spilling everything about Jacob to people I had just met, it did nothing to block the memories and dreams I occasionally had about him. My eyelids started to droop, and I gladly slipped into unconsciousness.

-

The next thing I knew, a velvet voice was at my ear, whispering that it was time to come inside. “Bella,” Edward whispered. “Let’s go inside. I would carry you, but just as I was about to do so, I saw Mrs. Whitlock stare at me rather disapprovingly.” I was half-awake.

“Umm,” I mumbled, shifting in my seat. I heard Edward sigh. “Clearly, this isn’t going to work,” he muttered. “Screw it. Mrs. Whitlock can think what she wants to think.” The next thing I knew, I was being scooped up by a pair of strong arms, bridal-style.

“No, no,” I protested. “Let me down, Edward.” My words sounded like mush.

I didn’t know how he managed to comprehend what I said, but he gently set me down on my feet. I wobbled for a minute, my eyelids still painfully working against me to keep themselves shut, before I felt my legs buckle beneath me.

Edward caught me just before I hit the ground. “Whoa, whoa,” he said, trying to set me on my feet like a limp rag doll before giving up and pulling me back into his arms once again.

I felt the movement of his legs carrying me into the house, with a curt “Thank you” from Edward as I could feel the soft leather of the couches sink ever so slightly below me. I heard whispers and voices, and then a “Hello, Mrs. Whitlock!” from an enthusiastic soprano voice.

“What happened to her?” I could hear Emmett standing over me, his voice amused but concerned at the same time. “I don’t know,” Edward admitted. “I saw her in the rear-view mirror, staring out the window. Then I put on the radio, and she was knocked out cold.”

“Emmett! Come here—we need to fix up the kitchen! Alice made a mess all afternoon trying to make the perfect dinner. The least we could do is help her out,” Rosalie hissed from somewhere further away. I heard Emmett groan and stalk away.

I could feel one of my legs slipping off the couch, but Edward, with precise timing as always, caught it and put it gently back onto the couch. I wanted so badly to open my eyes, but once again, I felt paralyzed. I didn’t feel like moving even an inch in his presence. I could feel him watching over me, his breathing steady and even.

My leg slipped again, and he put it back with my other leg, more carefully this time, as if not to wake me. But my reaction surprised him, and myself, I’m sure. I was known to talk in my sleep, reported not only from Renee and Charlie, but my new housemates, as well. Emmett thoroughly enjoyed bringing it up in conversation.

“It’s okay, Jacob,” I mumbled, a voice far away that I refused to believe was coming from me, not the conscious me, anyway, the real Bella. “Leave me alone. I’m fine.” I heard Edward shift his position. He was close to my face now; I could smell his sweet fragrance.

He stroked the hair out of my face, a feeling that was only too familiar now. I was so accustomed to it; I didn’t dare tell him to stop. The words that came out of my mouth were the complete opposite. “Ow, Jacob,” I whispered, my voice mumbled and broken. “That hurts.”

There was a moment of silence before I could feel his breath on my face, the words whispered into my ear, “I’m not Jacob, Bella. I would never hurt you.”

-

I awoke to the sounds of Alice swearing, the mixer being turned on, and then off again. I sighed and got up, massaging my stiff neck with one hand. I glanced at the clock. I had been asleep for a good hour and a half. I made my way to the kitchen—I could sense Alice needed help judging from her angry cries and colourful language.

“I feel like I’ve been grating carrots for ages,” Rosalie complained, her hair tied up in a bun, a grater in one hand, carrot in the other as she and Emmett sat at the island. A variety of ingredients were strewn in front of them. Emmett had an apron on which was covered in flour, his face smeared with what looked like butter.

“I can’t believe Edward just left like that… the bastard,” Emmett growled as he cracked two eggs into a bowl. Alice sighed once more and turned around to glance at them. “You guys,” she said. “It’s for a good cause. Just help me this once, ‘kay?” Rosalie and Emmett both grumbled in response, and she smiled lightly before seeing me leaned against the doorway.

“Oh, Bella, you’re up!” Alice chirped as she turned the Kitchen Aid mixer on once more.

“What are you making?” I asked, taking one more look around—Rosalie was grating carrots, Emmett was mixing dry ingredients and wet ingredients separately, and Alice was mixing something before sticking a finger in to taste it. That could only mean that they were making—

“Carrot cake!” Alice replied cheerfully as she tasted whatever she was mixing. “Needs more sugar,” she said to herself, grabbing a measuring cup. “I’m making the frosting, and Rosalie and Emmett are making the actual cake.” I raised an eyebrow.

“After cleaning up the kitchen, we just have to mess it up again,” Rosalie grumbled, tapping the carrot lightly on the grater. Emmett rolled his eyes. “Where’s Edward and Jasper?” I asked, sampling the cream cheese frosting Alice had attempted to make. I reached for more cream cheese and dumped it into the mixer.

“Jasper went out with his mother, and Edward is out with Tanya,” Alice said, giving me a careful look. No doubt that today’s incident gave her tons of ideas. I nodded, keeping my face blank. “I see.”

“I haven’t talked to Greg in three days,” Rosalie sighed. “He said he had some sort of business trip. I don’t understand why he couldn’t have called me.” I was grateful for this sudden distraction for Alice. But Emmett was the one who jumped in first.

“He shouldn’t leave you hanging like that—even I don’t do that,” Emmett told her, shaking his head as he mixed the dry ingredients with the wet ones. Rosalie shrugged, clearly looking uncomfortable. “He’s an older man. I can see that he has his priorities straight—I mean, he has a whole career to work for.”

“Whole career my ass—” Emmett began, receiving a silence with Alice’s hand. “We have precisely—” she checked her watch. “One hour to get this finished. Let’s move team!” I laughed. Alice’s voice made her sound like a cadet. I looked at her, but she wasn’t laughing. Her face held anxiety, and I put a hand on her shoulder. “Alice, it’s going to work out fine.”

“No, it won’t,” she said, her voice low. “Mrs. Whitlock hasn’t said one word to me, other than ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’. She didn’t even notice the decorations or new furniture.” I stared at her helplessly as her face crumpled up, ready to cry. “I’m so tired of putting on a brave face, Bella. I’m so tired of looking happy for her when all I want to do is scream and shout!”

I was surprised. So this happiness that Mrs. Whitlock was coming—it was all an act. Was Alice really tired of looking happy for everyone? Trying to impress Mrs. Whitlock?

“She’s going to love everything, Alice. You’ll see. All the effort you put will be rewarded,” I said, managing a smile. She let out a shaky, nervous chuckle.

Sticking some more sugar in the mixer, I managed to salvage the frosting. Rosalie and Emmett had mixed all the ingredients together and put it in the cake pan. Alice took it and slid it in the oven.

“Rosalie, would you mind setting the table?” she called, setting the timer. Rosalie grabbed the stack of new, beautiful plates and was about to head out to the kitchen when the door suddenly swung open, knocking one of the plates to the ground.

Edward and Tanya stared at the ground in horror as Alice started hyperventilating, her eyes filling with tears. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. The plate clattered to the ground and cracked, luckily not shattering. Alice, startled, dropped the bowl of frosting onto the floor, letting the contents spill out. Rosalie immediately looked at Alice in horror.

“Alice, I’m so sorry—” Rosalie began. A key turned in the door, the screen door pushed open as Jasper called, “We’re home! It smells great.”

Alice fled the room, tears streaming down her face. I stared at the ground, speechless, before immediately grabbing the mop from the little cupboard and wiping the frosting. I stared in panic at the beautiful but overpriced plate that lay cracked and helpless on the floor. Rosalie sighed and sat down, putting her head in her hands.

Jasper stared after her in horror before opening his mouth to speak. “Don’t bother,” Rosalie said in a low voice. “I’ll go after her.” She got up and quickly exited the room. Mrs. Whitlock did not look amused. Emmett folded his arms as Tanya tugged on Edward’s shirt.

“I better go,” Tanya whispered to him in a voice that was barely audible from where I was cleaning. I stared at what was left of the frosting, my eyes boring holes into the floor. I gripped the mop tightly in my hand. Edward nodded. “I’ll take you—”

“No, Edward,” Emmett glared at him, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes flashing. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Your best friend is up in her room, crying, while you decide to bring home a gi—”

“Enough, Emmett,” Rosalie said softly as she gracefully entered the room, only to sit down and prop her chin on her palm. “Alice doesn’t want to see me. I don’t think she wants to see anyone.”

Edward shook his head. “No, Emmett’s right,” he said, his velvet voice suddenly pained. “She’s my best friend. I have to at least try and see if she wants to talk.” He turned to Tanya, his face apologetic, it was almost heartbreaking. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to go home on your own. I’m sure you’re quite capable.”

“It’s bros before hoes,” Emmett muttered under his breath, just loudly enough for me to hear. I was so caught up in the current situation that I didn’t even remember that Mrs. Whitlock was standing right there, behind her son, with a look of disapproval. Tanya politely pushed past her and out the door, Edward staring after her with an unfathomable expression on his face.

Jasper picked up the plate on the ground before slowly making his way through the room, toward the exit where Alice had left. But his mother interrupted him before he could get any further. “What on earth is wrong with Mary?” she demanded, shaking her head. “A little dramatic, don’t you think? No use crying over spilt milk.”

I couldn’t hide the shock on my face as I stared at her. Emmett looked equally confused, almost angry. Rosalie looked up, her eyes flashing. Jasper turned around, looking as if he’d been slapped. He stared at his mother for a long moment before saying, “Her name is Alice. She hates being called Mary. Why the hell don’t you know that by now?” His words were quiet but just as fierce. Mrs. Whitlock cringed back, staring at her son in horror.

“Don’t use that tone with me,” Mrs Whitlock said, frowning. “Jasper, what has gotten into you? It seems as though ever since you’ve met, that, that girl—”

“Life has been good for me,” Jasper said quietly. “She saw me for who I really am. I’m not just some guy who hides behind his books. She saw past that. She’s able to finish my sentences. She can make me laugh. I’ve never met anyone quite like her.”

“That’s good,” Mrs. Whitlock tried to say. “But Jasper, you’ve changed.”

“No,” he said. “No, I haven’t. She has nothing to do with me changing. I’ve come to realize that life is better than just trying to make you and Dad happy with my success. I can succeed, but I can be happy as well. These people—” he gestured around him, “they’re my friends. I’ve finally found my place in life.”

“You can’t just throw your books away, Jasper!” his mother cried, fighting to get a word in. “You’re going to Dartmouth on a scholarship! Do you know how important that is? This gives you the opportunities we’ve never had. And we can’t let you just throw it away for some girl.”

“She has a name,” Jasper said, his voice quieter than ever now. “And you better start using it, because she’s one part of my life that I’m not about to let go anytime soon. She’s taught me more than any book can ever teach me.” I watched as Rosalie set her head down on her arms, which were folded across the table. Emmett moved forward to sit next to her, snaking both arms around her shoulders.

“I’m not going to throw my scholarship away,” Jasper continued. “You know me better than that. I, however, am not about to let one of the most important people in my life go. She’s worked so hard just to make you happy, and you can’t even acknowledge it. She’s not just some spoiled party princess like you think she is. She’s brought out a lot in me that I can’t thank her enough for. That’s… that’s why I love her.”

A hush suddenly fell upon the room as I gasped, my eyes widening. For a brief moment, Edward’s eyes met mine, and then fell upon Jasper as he stared at the ground. Rosalie’s face crumpled up, as if she were about to cry, and Emmett rubbed her shoulders, looking as shocked as I was.

Suddenly a voice was heard from the hallway. “You… you what?” asked a shaky soprano voice, stepping out from behind the shadows, her eye makeup streaked across her face, black hair tousled and sticking out every which way. We all turned to stare at her as her face crumpled in tears. Then, as if she were a blur, she stumbled (which was difficult to believe) toward Jasper as he gathered her in his arms.

I was sure that they would’ve kissed. At that moment, the timing, everything that Jasper had said, everything seemed to fit, like pieces of a puzzle. The one, lone, unique piece was his mother. He turned to face her. “It’s about time you saw things my way,” he told her, his face neither angry nor sad. Somewhere in the middle, where you couldn’t decipher it, but where you could feel emotions of your own with one look.

The way he looked into Alice's eyes was something I’d seen before. It was as if, staring at them, I saw a truly magical connection. An unbreakable bond. The kind of love that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy just by witnessing it. It seemed like a private moment, on display for all of us to see. I watched as Mrs. Whitlock turned her face away, looking ashamed.

Jasper broke away from Alice for a moment, toward his mother, who was a head shorter than he was. “Mom, I love you. I’ll always work hard at everything—it’s part of who I am now. But so is Alice. You just need to take the time to get to know her.” Mrs. Whitlock slowly nodded.

Then Alice, being Alice, gave me a small smile before launching herself toward Jasper’s mother, wrapping her in the biggest hug her small arms could muster. “I promise I won’t be a distraction! Jasper is really smart; I wouldn’t want to get in the way of reaching his full potential.”

“Thank you,” Mrs. Whitlock’s voice sounded choked, although she didn’t shed a tear. She excused herself to go to the bathroom. Rosalie hugged Alice and apologized again about the plate, and even though Alice wasn’t happy about it, she was relieved she bought two more plates than we needed.

“Group hug?” Alice asked as she let go of Rosalie, Alice’s arms still outstretched. Edward looked at me. I looked at Jasper. Jasper looked at Emmett. “Fine,” Alice huffed. “Some friends.” Emmett sighed than wrapped Alice into a big bear hug. “You’re a good kid,” he said to her in a southern accent, winking at Jasper. Jasper rolled his eyes.

-

Dinner was a polite, good-natured event. Edward spent more time indulging in conversation with Jasper, Alice, and Mrs. Whitlock—I could tell he was still thinking about Emmett’s earlier comment. Emmett cracked a few jokes at the table, even nicknaming me ‘B.S.’ and using it as a stand in for the actual word. (“You tripped today? That’s total B.S.!”) Rosalie seemed a bit put out, and I was wondering if she still felt horrible about dropping one of Alice’s plates. Everything turned out alright, though, so I wondered if she had other things on her mind. I caught her text messaging under the table, her gorgeous face pulled into a frown.

The highlight of the entire evening, though, was Jasper and Alice. At one point, the conversation at the table seemed to die down a little, and I looked up from my plate only to find Jasper gazing at Alice from across the table, a look that I only faintly familiar with. It was as though their connection was so personal, that he could probably spot her from miles away. It was as if she was the only one in the room, and everyone else was either non-existent, or just a background, fuzzy buzz in the air.

I felt my heart lurch from the way he was looking at her. It was so new to me; I didn’t know it had the power to tug at my heart. For a second, just faintly, I felt as I had seen someone look the same way before. I couldn’t remember if it was at me, or at someone else. All I knew was that Jacob had never looked at me that way. Ever. I couldn’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe, I wanted him to.

-

Thanks for reading, you guys! Sorry for the late update—even though it’s summer, my schedule is quite hectic. I’m thinking that this story is going to be quite long—probably over fifteen chapters. I hope you’re all enjoying it so far. At least one of our favourite couples has gotten together so far! XD As for the rest of them… you’ll just have to wait and see wink

Much love!

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Chapter: 11

Disclaimer: You should know what I don’t own by now -sigh-

Goodness, you guys, have you seen the Twilight clips from the Penelope DVD that are on YouTube? And the second trailer? My heart is beating so fast, I can’t wait for this movie! Sorry for the long wait, folks. Here's an extra long chapter just for you guys.

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Eleven: Ready or Not

I had felt this exhilarating feeling many times before, each time I put that helmet on, got on that bike, and wrapped my arms around his waist for dear life. The anticipation just built and built until, finally, we were speeding through the streets. The wind was in my hair, watching the stretch of road go on and on in front of us. I wanted it to go on forever.

This time, it was very nearly the same, except for the fact that the person I was clinging to was someone who had broken my heart almost beyond repair.

The wind blew almost harshly in my face now. I loosened my grip on his waist, somehow hoping that maybe I would fall off the motorcycle. The pain from being injured would hurt less than his abandonment.

I assumed, of course, that his abandonment would happen in the near future. It would be best to sever ties with him as soon as possible, so that it would hurt less. But I still couldn’t bear to risk my life throwing myself off a speeding motorcycle. I closed my eyes and waited for it to be over. It was obvious he didn’t notice that I wasn’t enjoying this motorcycle ride as I did with the others.

As the trees and dirt zoomed past us, I tried to wrack my brain for the appropriate way to break up with him. I knew seeing the look on his face would make me feel horribly guilty. I also had another thought—was I really that selfish to inflict pain on him so that I could protect myself before he did the same to me?

Maybe he wouldn’t even care. Maybe it was one less thing for him to do.

He pulled in an unfamiliar place—it seemed to be a parking lot of a park filled with large trees and thick bushes. I had never seen this type of vegetation in Arizona. This meant that—

He got off the bike and stood, swiftly removing the helmet from his head to reveal bronze, messy hair.

Bronze messy hair.

Clearly, it wasn’t Jacob.

This changed everything.

He turned around to smile a crooked smile at me, and I felt my heart flutter, like it was about to fall out of my chest. I slowly got off of the motorcycle and stood, facing him, staring into his green eyes.

“Bella,” he murmured, his velvety voice sounding like music to my ears. He took a step forward, and his arms were open, as if they were reaching out to me. I stepped forward to meet him.

A small smile spread on my lips. That same magnetic feeling I felt before when we were in the music room ran like an electric current through my body, my arms. I reached up slowly to wrap my arms around his neck, moving closer to him, inhaling his delicious scent.

He chucked softly before putting his arms around my waist, filling the space between us as I reached up on my tippy-toes to press my lips against his. His lips felt so warm and inviting, and they moved against mine so softly. His arms left my waist to move up my back, and I ran my hands through his tousled hair. I sighed against his lips before whispering—

“Edward.” I said his name so softly, but it sounded almost like a moan.

I heard laughing behind me, and Edward, the night, and the motorcycle disappeared.

My eyes flew open and I turned around to give an icy glare to Emmett, who was watching me in amusement, his large, muscular arms folded across his chest. He was leaning against the counter. “Edward?” he repeated, mocking me. “I can’t believe you just said his name in that… in that way. Don’t tell me you’re already smitten with him.”

“I’m not,” I said, my face flaming red. I couldn’t believe that Emmett had just used the word smitten. As I let my warm cheeks cool down, I started on my next task: refilling the cups and lids.

I was doing my trial-run at the Starbucks in Port Angeles. It was my first day; Emmett had just completed training me. The training didn’t take long—only the morning, since it was a slow day (thankfully on my part). I was a bit nervous. I tried concentrating as hard as I could on my various duties, but I was finding it quite difficult.

Emmett was so desperate for anyone to work at the Starbucks with him—he would be working longer hours and earning more without another employee, but he thought it would seriously hurt his social life—that I felt kind of sorry for him. But that wasn’t the reason why I accepted the job.

Of course, with Alice and Jasper’s recent realizations that they were in love, I realized that I wouldn’t be spending as much time with Alice as I had been before. Jasper seemed to have no issues with juggling work, studying, and Alice all at once. Alice was only too happy to help out Jasper as much as she could. That left me with not much to do but sit at home and mope, while everyone else was at work.

Well, almost everyone else. Edward had been spending more and more time with Tanya at the house, and seeing them together made me feel a bit uneasy. Maybe it was the fact that Tanya, who was nice, never seemed to want to actually continue a conversation with me. I wasn’t exactly helping by talking Edward’s ear off.

I had learned a lot about him since the day that I decided I wanted to. We often engaged in heated conversations about which Muse and Linkin Park songs were their greatest. Working at a music store, Edward obviously had an educated taste, and it fascinated me. He put up with my endless gushing over Jane Austen’s novels, and I tolerated his bashing of Romeo and other literary heroes.

I let myself become entranced in his piano playing. He tried to show me the ropes but I was easily frustrated—my clumsy strokes would never be able to compare with his flawless, graceful playing. Even the simplest of songs (“Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”) sounded weak.

“That’s it Bella… just go slow and steady. You can speed it up once you get each note down,” Edward said to me as he sat next to me.

That was easy for him to say. He was already way past Mary Had A Little Lamb at the age of six. I clicked my tongue in frustration as I hit another key, listening to see if it was correct.

“I’ve already showed you the notes,” Edward said simply, a hint of frustration colouring his voice. “All you need to do is play.”

“It’s not that easy, okay? Especially not for me, a beginner! Paired with my clumsiness, I’m surprised I even got half of the notes right,” I muttered as I hit the piano, clearly embarrassed and even a little angry.

“Hey, the piano never did anything to you,” Edward protested as I dropped my arms. I wanted to lay my head down so badly. “And being a beginner means nothing. I know you can do this.”

“Gee, thanks,” I said, staring at him out of the corner of my eye. “Could you sound any more frustrated with me?” After I said the words, I felt ashamed and wanted to take them back. But before I could, Edward was already wound up.

“Well, what can you possibly expect to accomplish by giving up?” Edward demanded, staring at me, his eyes as cold as ice. After a moment of silence, the anger on his face diminished as I looked at him, and I could tell he was already softening up.

“Not hurting myself,” I said, trying a small smile to see if he was still angry at me.

“I can’t argue with that.”

We already considered each other friends. It was easy to talk to him, and although we tended to argue (in Edward’s words, ‘disagree’) the conversation was enjoyable. And that’s exactly what I wanted. The way we were able to talk endlessly about almost everything was a nice change from the point of view I had from Alice. I hoped that I wasn’t getting in between their friendship. When I mentioned this to the both of them separately, all I got was a laugh from Edward and an eye roll from Alice.

My head was spinning and my hands were shaking as I reflected on the recent daydream I had… no, more like me going insane. Kissing Edward? Was that really something I wanted to do?

Well, that explains the magnetic feeling, I dryly thought to myself as I sorted the lids into their appropriate categories. No way. I couldn’t possibly like Edward like that—I didn’t feel the same way around him as I felt with Jacob. It was definitely something different. It was probably just the feeling of actually making a new friend of the opposite sex and feeling like you were getting closer.

Of course, not too close.

It’s just the coffee, I told myself. The fumes are making me think funny things. Or maybe I just need more sleep.

“The way you said it,” Emmett continued, obviously not about to let the subject drop, “It sounded like an intense moment of heat and passion, just like in those erotic nov—”

“Okay, Emmett, stop,” I interrupted. Cutting him off was the best possible option as soon as the word erotic came out of his mouth. “I was just thinking out loud about our last conversation. I-I forgot to practice the piano. He’s supposed to continue lessons soon.” I was lying through my teeth and it was painfully evident.

“You’re totally into him,” Emmett ignored my shaky reply, probably knowing that it wasn’t true and not even bothering to acknowledge it.

“Into who?” A cheerful voice said from behind me. I swirled around to find Alice standing in front of Emmett, who was at the cash register. Emmett opened the door at the counter in order to let her through. I was so startled; I dropped the small stack of cups I was holding.

Emmett laughed. “Total B.S.,” he grinned, nodding at my clumsiness. I rolled my eyes. I hoped he wasn’t going to continue with this any longer. “Edward,” he said to Alice.

“Oh, thank goodness Emmett! Finally someone else who notices,” Alice said in agreement as Emmett headed into the back room. “Stop denying it, Bella. You’ve been getting closer and closer every day.” I couldn’t deny this.

“I don’t—” I repeated slowly, pronouncing each word. “—like Edward. Okay? Can we move on, please?” Alice shook her head, staring at her new kitten heel boots. “Total B.S.,” Emmett said again, re-entering from the back room carrying a medium-sized sack effortlessly, which looked to be full of tea.

“Here, Alice,” he said to her as he passed her the sack. The sack looked roughly half the size of her. My heart lurched as Alice somehow managed to make it past the counter carrying the sack. “Thanks, Emmett!” she called over her shoulder. “I’ll be back with Jasper later tonight. See you guys later!”

I leaned against the counter, holding the empty clear plastic bag loosely in my hands. “Using ‘B.S.’ doesn’t make any sense,” I pointed out to Emmett. “You’re saying its total ‘Bella Swan’. What does that mean?” Emmett shrugged. “It depends on the context. It always makes sense to me.” I shook my head in confusion.

“For example,” he continued, “You like Edward. That’s total ‘Bella Swan’, which means, yes, you do like him.”

“I do not,” I insisted, frustrated now. Emmett raised a hand to silence me. “Okay, okay. I get it. But Edward liking someone else would be a hell of a lot better for him right now.” He sighed, watching the door for customers.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t like Tanya, alright? She takes up too much of his time,” Emmett explained. I stared at him, a trifle shocked. Emmett was always the one telling Edward that he should never wait to ‘score’ with a girl and that since he liked Tanya for a long time, he should go for it. But I could see where he was coming from about Tanya consuming too much of Edward’s time.

“So… you’re jealous?” I asked, listening to myself say the words. They sounded just a bit funny, and I put a hand to my mouth to stifle a laugh. Emmett rolled his eyes at me. “We never play football anymore. Jasper even told me that he overheard Tanya say that she was tired of him being more close to everyone else, and not her.”

I looked down at my hands. I couldn’t help but feel this was partially my fault, and Tanya wasn’t completely to blame. I had being spending a bit more time with Edward than he was with everyone else. “I take up quite a bit of his time,” I admitted to Emmett, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

Emmett rolled his eyes again. “Yeah, but we all like you. Tanya’s been known for being a selfish brat at times.” I looked up at him, shocked again. “You don’t like her?” Emmett shrugged. “Edward’s practically my brother. I can’t say that I don’t like her. I don’t exactly have a choice.”

I nodded slowly as I turned my back to him. I felt pleased that Emmett had said that everyone liked me. It had been awhile since I’d heard that. But the rest of what he said made me feel even more uneasy about Tanya.

I was snapped out of my train of thought as a brown-haired good-looking man with glasses stepped in front of the cash register. He was wearing an expensive-looking leather coat.

“Can I get one tall mocha frappuccino and one tall white chocolate mocha?” he ordered as I punched the prices into the register. I nodded and told him the price. He handed me a few bills and said to ‘keep the change’. I had never seen a customer so slick. I watched as he made his way back to the table in the corner of the room, setting one of the cups in front of a girl in a cute crocheted hat with short blond hair.

“You’re lucky it’s so slow today,” Emmett remarked, moving forward to stand beside me. “Usually there are huge amounts of people, gigantic hordes willing to beat you up for the best cup of Joe in town.”

“I’m also lucky that I’m not actually handling the coffee,” I muttered. “That would’ve been a disaster.” Emmett nodded in agreement. We stood there in silence for a moment before Emmett let out a long sigh.

“Let’s play two lies and a truth,” Emmett suggested. “I’d like to actually know a little bit more about my newest roommate.” I smiled at him, pleased to see that he was willing to get to know me. “You go first,” I told him. “I’ve never played this before.”

“Okay,” he said with a mischievous smile. “One: I eat three meals a day. Two: I’ve dated less than ten girls. Three: I go to the gym five times a week. Now you have to tell me which statements are lies, and which one is true.” I rolled my eyes at him, folding my arms across my chest.

“The truth is obviously ‘going to the gym five times a week’,” I said. “I see you wake up extra early in the mornings to do your laundry so you can just stuff it into your gym bag when you come home.” Emmett laughed. “Correct. Now you try.”

I stood there, thinking it over for a minute, as Emmett checked on the customers who were either sitting at a table or lounging on the comfortable couches. Suddenly he raised his eyebrows before shaking his head. “What’s wrong?” I asked him curiously before he nodded in the direction of the corner of the room.

The man who had just recently ordered was gone. The girl was sitting alone now, both coffee cups in front of her, her hands covering her face. Her chest heaved up and down, and her shoulders shook. I knew only too well what this meant.

“She’s crying,” I whispered, clearly concerned. “Poor girl.” Emmett straightened out his collar and winked at me. “What a perfect time to display my fine skills with the ladies.” I looked at him. “By taking advantage of them while they’re crying and obviously vulnerable?” I asked dryly. Emmett shrugged jumped out from behind the counter, not bothering to use the door.

He turned around to face me. “Come,” he gestured. “You’ll have the chance to see Emmett McCarty in action!” I shook my head in disbelief but followed. As we approached the table, the girl’s coat looked strangely familiar.

My eyes widened as we reached the table. Emmett shot a nervous glance at me before looking back down at the girl who clearly didn’t notice us. Her face was still buried in her hands, a tissue grasped in one fist. Now I knew why the coat was so familiar.

“Rosalie?” I said softly as I sat in the seat where the man once was. Emmett crouched down so he was level to us and put an arm around her. Rosalie only continued to sob harder. I couldn’t comprehend a single thing that came out of her mouth. Emmett shook his head. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I… am… so… sorry…” Rosalie managed to choke out. I stared at her in confusion. “Why are you sorry?” Emmett demanded. I raised my eyebrows at him. “Do you think this is the best time to ask questions?” I hissed. Emmett ignored me and tried to calm Rose down. “Please, tell us what’s going on. You’re freaking us out.” So much for being sensitive. I reached over to pat Rose’s hand.

“T-that… he has… Greg is…” My face turned pale as I realized the man who she was sitting with was Greg, her older, mature boyfriend. The one who had a kid. Emmett’s face turned fierce. “What? What about that guy? Did he hurt you? Where is he? I’ll kick his ass!” I hastily grabbed a box of tissues off the next table before Rosalie started to sob even harder.

“Rose,” I told her gently, “We’re not leaving.” She continued to sob for a moment before she raised her head to look at me, and then Emmett. “You idiot,” she struggled, her face tear-streaked and her hair messy. She reached up to pull off the crocheted hat to shake out the rest of her blond locks. “You won’t kick his ass, or else I’ll kick your ass,” she told him sternly, wiping away a few stray tears. I gave her a small smile.

“I’m being so stupid, anyway,” Rosalie laughed without humour. “I’m acting so dramatic over something that isn’t that big a deal.” She sniffled, still clutching the tissue in her hand. “What is it, Rose?” Emmett demanded. I sighed lightly and stared at the table. Rose glared at him for a moment before speaking.

“Greg has… a wife,” she spoke slowly, and I could already see the tears welling up in her eyes. I glanced swiftly at Emmett who looked back at me, eyebrows raised. We both turned to Rosalie. “I know what you’re both thinking. How could I be so stupid, right? But everything will be fine. Greg’s going to divorce her.” I felt more like she was talking to herself than to Emmett and I. I didn’t know if she quite believed herself because she started to cry completely now, so I reached out to hug her.

I thought about Greg, and how he could possibly go out with Rosalie without her knowing the whole time that he had a family, a wife and child, at home waiting for him. He could’ve spent time with them, but no, he decided to date a fresh-out-of-high school blond bombshell.

I could say that he only went out with Rosalie for her looks, but that would be wrong. There was probably more to Rosalie Hale than I knew about, getting to know her during the little time I saw her in a few short weeks.

The only right thing would be to think about how she would deal with this. Would she even consider continuing this affair when she knew fully well it would probably rip an entire family apart? I thought about the kid. I knew how much I felt pulled this way and that being the child of a divorce. Would she really want to be considered ‘the other woman’, ‘a home wrecker’?

My cell phone rang, interrupting me of my thoughts. Everyone, especially Alice, persuaded me to buy one. I had finally caved in and bought the cheapest, simplest one. Despite Alice insisting to buy me the nicest, newest cell phone money could buy, I turned her down.

“Hello?” It was a number I didn’t recognize.

There was silence on the other line. Finally, a voice said, “Bella?”

“Dad?” I whispered, my face pulling into shock. Emmett gave me a concerned expression. I shifted myself so that Rosalie could continue to sob quietly on Emmett’s shoulder so that I could pull away and take the phone call to a more private venue.

I watched Emmett rock Rosalie back and forth. Charlie asked quietly, “Are you ready to come home now?” I immediately turned defensive.

“Dad, I already said I’d talk to you when I’m ready,” I said, feeling a lump appear in my throat. For the past week or so, I wanted to forget all about Charlie. It had worked, but this unexpected phone call was a quick blow.

“I know.” He sounded disappointed, upset.

I didn’t know what else to say. So I opted to get out of this painful conversation. I was running away from my problems again. But I hoped this one would stay as far away as possible until I was ready to meet it.

“I have to go, Dad,” I whispered into the phone, staring from behind the counter at an imaginary customer, to make the lying seem less of a lie and more real. “I’m really busy now.” So I snapped my phone shut and stuffed it into the pocket of my green apron. I looked back at Emmett and Rosalie. Rosalie was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, waving her hands animatedly as Emmett looked at her wearily. Suddenly Rosalie gave Emmett a pleading look. Emmett stared at her, shaking his head slowly.

There were only a few people at Starbucks now, and it was getting close to closing time. As I approached Emmett and Rose, Emmett held his hand out. “Here, let me take the keys,” he said, one arm still wrapped around Rosalie’s shoulders. “I’ll lock up. You go on home. Rose and I are going to hang out here for awhile.”

I looked at him sceptically. Why should I leave when there was a friend in need? But something about the look on Emmett’s face made me decide not to question him. I leaned in and gave Rosalie a hug. “Hang in there, Rose,” I whispered. “Everything will be okay.”

Rose gave me a small smile before digging for something in her coat pocket. “Here, take my car,” she said, holding the keys out on one finger. I sighed in relief. I had forgotten all about how I would come home. And Emmett’s Jeep always made me so anxious. It was humongous—I couldn’t even begin to think how I would handle driving it.

“Thanks,” I smiled, taking the keys from her. “I’ll see you guys at home.”

The drive home took a bit longer as I thought it would. I played a CD that Edward had burned me, the first one being “Island in the Sun” by Weezer. It was a CD of songs that would depict where I’d want to be—in the sun, on a beach, like how it should’ve been in the summer if I were still home in Phoenix.

Sadly, the mood of the music didn’t match the actual weather. The roof of Rose’s car was up, and it was drizzling outside. I wanted to feel the wind in my hair. I shuddered at this thought, reminding me of my daydream earlier that day.

I decided to make a quick stop at a diner and grab a burger—I realized I was hungrier than I thought I was.

I was now in Forks. I decided to take a route I was unfamiliar with back to the house, not realizing that I would pass Charlie’s new house on the way. I felt horrible about the way I abruptly ended the phone call earlier. That, in turn, brought on new feelings. Maybe I should’ve let him speak. Maybe we could’ve talked, worked things out.

I slowed down as I passed the house. He wouldn’t recognize that it was me. I could see through the window—the curtains weren’t drawn, the lights were on. He was obviously home. As I got a good view of inside, I saw Charlie, sitting at the dining room table. And he wasn’t alone. There was the woman—Helena—sitting with him at the table, candles

lit, talking to him, and a smile upon her face. Charlie was smiling as well, he looked happier than I’d ever seen him.

I felt tears fill my eyes. Was I really so selfish as to give Charlie a choice between his new happiness, and myself? Was I really so unwilling to let him be happy?

I could’ve sworn that Charlie had taken a look out the window. I didn’t have time to confirm it, because by that time, I was zooming away in the car. I didn’t care if Rosalie’s windows were tinted or not. I just wanted to get away from there.

I stopped abruptly on the next street, putting my head to the steering wheel. I needed to be alone. I needed to collect my thoughts. But it was hard to concentrate as the tears spilled from my eyes, one by one. I didn’t want to get salt water on Rosalie’s leather seats, so I grabbed a bunch of tissues and put them to my face.

I sat there for a long time.

Before long, darkness started to set around me. The trees turned into dark shapes in the distance, and soon enough, the few streetlamps started to turn on. Something in my mind was telling me, you better get a move on. You’re a mess. Everyone’s going to worry about you. Quit being a cry-baby. I stared with determination into the rear view mirror, fixing my hair and wiping the wet streaks on my face.

I gripped the steering wheel and drove home, my mind blank, trying to wish my problems away, knowing they would never go.

-

When I got back to the house, hardly any lights were on. I saw dim light from a crack between the curtains of the living room window, but that was all. I glanced overhead as I got out of Rosalie’s convertible, staring at the moon. The sky was yet again cloudy. Not a good night for gazing at the stars, I noted.

I swiftly unlocked the front door to the house. I made my way through the foyer to investigate who was in the living room.

Someone was sitting on the couch, the back to me, facing the TV. Some documentary was going on, currently talking about mountain lions. I stared at the TV for a moment before stepping into the living room.

The sound of my sneakers tapping on the floor was enough to make the figure turn around. It was Edward. Of course. I could recognize that hair from a mile away. He smiled at me, cocking his head. “You’re late. It’s past curfew.”

I gave him a small smile and shook my head. “Says the guy who stays up late to watch lion documentaries,” I teased, making my way to the couch. I flopped down and crossed my legs. Edward immediately shifted to make room for me.

“So what’s going on? Where is everyone?” I asked, grabbing a blanket from a small basket next to the couch and wrapping it around me. “Well, Emmett and Rosalie came home about an hour ago. Rosalie immediately went upstairs while Emmett gulped down some food in the kitchen and followed. They didn’t say a word. Are they angry with me?” Edward furrowed his brow.

My mind flashed to Rosalie’s breakdown at Starbucks and Emmett’s confession on disliking Tanya. Mentioning it would not be the smart thing, I thought. “I don’t think so. Where’s Alice and Jasper?” I asked, quickly changing the subject. I hoped he didn’t notice.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Edward shrugged, staring at the TV. I looked at him for a moment. “And Tanya?” I asked quietly, shifting my position on the couch. “She went home about half an hour ago,” Edward said. My stomach lurched at the thought of what they were doing. A voice in my head said, it’s none of your business, Bella! Stop thinking about that!

“So where have you been?” Edward asked casually, running a hand through his hair. “I went to work. Then I went to grab some dinner. I didn’t think it’d take so long,” I replied.

“You ate out? Alone?”

The scepticism in his voice offended me on some level. “Yeah, it’s what most people do when they’re not out with friends or significant others all the time.” As soon as I said that I immediately regretted it. I hoped he wasn’t thinking that I was talking about Tanya specifically.

“I was just thinking that you would’ve given in and called Mike Newton by now,” Edward said easily. I could hear the teasing in his voice. I could just picture the smirk on his lips.

“Given in?” I asked him in disbelief. “What kind of girl do you think I am? And Mike Newton? I’d rather have my wisdom teeth removed.”

“I’m sure.”

I scowled at him in the darkness. “Who do you think you are, a comedian?” Edward turned to look at me. “Aha, I have been told that I’m very funny.”

I rolled my eyes. “By all means, enlighten me.”

His green eyes pierced into mine as he leaned in close to look at me, a smirk on his perfect lips. My heart beat raced as his cool breath whirled around me. I stared back at him for a long second before the corners of his mouth twitched and I burst out laughing.

“See,” Edward said, defiant. “I have an uncanny knack for making people laugh.” I blushed, keeping my head down. The warmness in my cheeks made me remember of the daydream I had earlier that day. I shifted on the couch, clearly uncomfortable.

Edward seemed to sense this and changed the subject. “I’m guessing that you did something else besides eating before you came here.” I looked up at him, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “You can’t know that.”

He seemed amused. “It was written all over your face when you came in.”

“Oh, so I’m easy to read now?” I asked.

“Not all the time.” That was comforting.

I sighed. “I went to go see Charlie, okay? I thought that maybe it was time to take your advice and give him a chance to speak. But then I drove by and I saw that he was eating dinner with his… h-his new girlfriend, and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“I see.”

“How pathetic, I know.” I looked down at my hands.

Edward frowned. “No.” Suddenly one of his arms was around my shoulders, pulling me in closer. “You shouldn’t do something when you’re not ready. I can’t imagine the drama that would’ve occurred if you actually stormed into the house during Charlie’s perfect romantic dinner.”

I laughed wearily. “Romance was never exactly Charlie’s thing. You knew that, didn’t you?”

Edward chuckled. “Of course I did. I was the second tenant, after all.” He moved closer, our faces inches apart. “You’re the exact opposite, aren’t you?” he whispered, his green eyes mysterious in the dark.

My face turned completely red. “I already told you what a hopeless romantic I am.”

I stared back at him, his eyes locked with mine. It was perfectly silent, and during the whole time we had talked, I didn’t notice that he turned off the TV. I was so transfixed on his perfect features. His eyes, for some unimaginable reason, looked as intrigued with my face as I was with his.

I leaned in, and he met me halfway, holding one of my hands in both of his.

-

Gigantic cliffy, huh? I hope you all aren’t ready to hunt me down! I’m sorry this was such a late update, I had a sudden virus attack on my computer, so I was unable to use it for awhile. Thank you all so much for your continued support. I appreciate all the reviews you guys gave me, even when I hadn’t updated in awhile. -hands out ice cream-

On a side note, please vote in my latest poll! It’s important to know what you guys think so that I can start planning for my next story or stories! You guys are essentially choosing what kind of story I will write next! This week you’ll have a choice between all-human or vampire, next poll will be about the length of the fic, after that will be POV, etc. So please vote! I love you all!

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Chapter: 12

Disclaimer: Guess who doesn’t own Twilight? MEEE!

Happy August 2nd! Have fun reading Breaking Dawn, everyone!

Lotsofloveforedward: No, the song by Boys Like Girls wasn’t the inspiration for the entire story, just Chapter Two. I kind of fell out of posting the songs that inspired me for each chapter, but if you want, I’ll start it up again.

And thank you to all those reviewers who have been so understanding about viruses! They’re a pain to get rid of!

Ear Candy: Realize – Colbie Caillat

Vienna – Billy Joel

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Twelve: Make Me Feel

I could say that his lips meant mine, moving ever so gently, wrapping his arms around my waist as I wrapped my own around his neck.

I could say that we went further than just kissing.

I could say that he told me he had dumped Tanya.

No, just as I had leaned in for the kill, something in Edward’s expression had changed from unmistakable assuredness to afraid, vulnerable, and maybe even guilty. My mind was whirling—it was so hard to concentrate when my heart was racing.

But as I stared into his face, my heart changed from fluttering to sinking. I wanted him to want this as much as I did. And now he looked reluctant—a major turn-off. And with my heart sinking instead of racing, I could think clear. Needless to say, I started to feel guilty as well.

His hesitation seemed to come at the right moment. As we paused, staring into each other’s eyes, our faces a mere inches away, the doorknob turned and Alice danced in, shopping-bag laden and looking blissfully happy.

Edward immediately dropped his hands from mine. His eyes widened and he stared from me to Alice. I blushed and looked down, panic spreading across my face as Alice let out a gasp. I looked up at her, and her mouth was formed into a perfect O.

“Oh my God,” she said, staring at us. “What do we have here? Shit, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt! I mean…” Jasper, carrying more bags, stepped into the door as I heard the car beep from outside. He bumped into Alice, who was standing there, frozen, as we all stared in horror at one another.

“Jasper, code red!” Alice hissed, nudging him in the ribs. Jasper looked at us on the couch, and his expression turned weary. “We need to get out of here!” Alice continued, trying to push him out the door.

“Alice,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t make this worse than it already is. Let’s go upstairs, shall we?” Alice nodded, her expression somewhat dazed, as Jasper turned her around by her shoulders and tiptoed across the room to the stairs. Alice winked at me, trying to make a discreet thumbs up; while I was pretty sure Jasper was glaring at Edward. I sighed and stared back at Edward, who had now pulled away and was running a hand through his hair, clearly as embarrassed about the situation as I was.

I was pretty sure that Edward had murmured, “I’m sorry,” as I swept the blanket off myself and began to fold it back up again. “It’s… better this way,” Edward said, slightly louder now, though I still strained my ears to hear it. “We really can’t let this happen.” His hands were clasped tightly together, and his knees were resting on his legs. He stared at the floor.

“I know,” I whispered. “Believe me.” I rose, slightly wobbly, throwing the blanket into the basket. “Good night, Edward.”

Why did it have to be this way? I thought to myself as I climbed the stairs. He has Tanya… and I still have Jacob on my mind. This isn’t fair for anyone. The tears started forming in my eyes, but I remember the promise I made to myself long ago, after Jacob had left—that I would never cry over a boy. Before I thought that crying over Edward was silly since he was just a friend, but after this incident, there was no denying that I liked him now.

But some part of me didn’t want to like him. As I said before, I had Jacob on my mind still, and this attraction was completely different from the one I held for Jacob. There was something else, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Besides the fact that he had a girlfriend, and I was strongly opposed to any form of cheating, no matter whom it was on.

As wrong as it was, it felt so right.

-

Alice danced into my bedroom as I lay on my bed, a pillow covering my head, my radio turned down so low that only I could hear it. She moved silently across my carpet, sitting on the foot of my bed so gently and lightly that I could barely feel her weight.

“Bella,” she said softly, as if testing to see if I was still awake or not. I contemplated whether I should respond; I wasn’t in the mood to talk, so I tried to remain silent. But under Alice’s watch, I couldn’t stay quiet for long.

“Alice,” I whispered into the pillow.

She was silent for a moment, before beginning. “Tell me what happened.” She said it as if she wasn’t expecting anything—she was neither happy nor upset. She was neutral.

“It was completely ridiculous, Alice. There’s not much to say,” I said, moving the pillow slightly so she could hear me better. More silence.

“Did you kiss?” she asked, again in the same neutral tone.

“No.”

“I’m glad,” Alice said, and I moved the pillow fully now to see her face. She was smiling ever so slightly, almost pleased. I just looked at her. “Glad? I thought you were so persistent I liked him.”

Alice raised her eyebrows. “Just because you like him doesn’t mean that it’s right to be with him,” she said simply, shaking her head.

“I know,” I said, a hint of misery in my voice. “But you told me to hold on tight and never let go. Remember?” Alice was shaking her head again. “Not when he’s not completely yours.” The tears started forming in my eyes again.

“A part of me feels so guilty, Alice. I can’t believe I could just give myself over like that, so easily. Jacob’s still there, inside my heart and my mind. I can’t help but feel that on some level, I’m betraying him. Not to mention, Tanya as well,” I choked. “She’s never done anything to me.”

“I can understand how being with Edward goes against everything you believe in,” Alice soothed, reaching over to smooth out a few locks of hair. “But I wish you wouldn’t feel that you’re betraying Jacob. I guess it’ll take some time to learn that.”

“How I feel about Edward… it’s so strange, Alice. And it hurts,” I whimpered, covering my face with the pillow again. “Oh, Bella,” Alice said softly, her voice helpless. “Let’s put it this way. Just think about how Edward feels.”

Completely different, I could imagine. It seemed like he had the easy way out. He could just forget about me and continue to go out with Tanya. Or he could acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, from the look in his eyes and his simple gestures, that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

I wiped away a stray tear. I hated to go to sleep upset, and I needed something to distract me. Luckily, Alice was there. “Hey, Alice?”

“Yes, Bella?”

“What did you buy today? Anything that fits me?” I let out a small laugh. Alice’s face lit up. “You know, I think I have something that’s perfect for you. Very simple, yet still chic…” as Alice launched into detail, I knew I would protest. I found myself drifting back into myself again—the girl who had boundaries, the girl who never took chances. I wanted to be my familiar self, where I liked it or not.

-

I rode with Emmett to work the next morning. When I finished getting ready, Emmett was waiting for me downstairs, wearing wrinkled clothing, his usually neat curly hair unkempt, looking tired.

I stared at him, eyebrows raised. “This is unusual.”

“Please, don’t ask questions,” Emmett said, sounding fidgety.

“Rough night?” I asked. He nodded, looking away. “Me too,” I sighed, pouring some tea into a cup. “Where is everyone? I thought we were going to ride with Edward and Rosalie?” To tell you the truth, I was relieved that we weren’t going to ride with Edward. I still didn’t know how to approach him, if I should, about last night’s incident. Surely it would be awkward today.

“They already left,” Emmett said, sounding as relieved as I was. “We better get going, too, if we’re going to be on time.” The idea of riding in Emmett’s jeep did not appeal to me. I was already nervous about its size—it was big enough to crush those tiny hybrids that were on the market nowadays. I had a sudden longing for my truck, but I remembered it was at the new house of the father I did not want to see nor talk to.

Emmett’s mind seemed to be on other things. He wasn’t his usual talkative self—I had to be the one asking the questions, and his answers were abnormally short. His distraction was partly a good thing though, because his driving was actually acceptable. No fear in being pulled over by a cop today.

The morning was, thankfully, as slow as the day before. I had time to take a breather from the customers. “Is Rosalie okay?” I asked, concerned, hoping that I would at least get an adequate answer from this question. Emmett was suddenly preoccupied with wiping the counter. “I think she’ll be alright,” he muttered.

The crowd got busier in the afternoon—though the reason why was beyond me. People usually needed their cup of coffee first thing in the morning. I was on my toes all afternoon, Emmett barely saying a single word to me as he fixed everyone’s orders.

Unfortunately, his distraction was terrible for work. He spilled two coffees and had to do them over again, leaving some customers quite steamed. He handed me an empty cup of coffee, and gave me three rocky road brownies when I asked for three lattes. I pulled him over to the side during our break.

“Emmett!” I hissed. “You’re going to get fired! Is everything okay? What is going on with you?” I stared at him, my face hard. Never in my entire life did I dream of yelling at Emmett McCarty, the gigantic, funny teddy bear. But it was for his own good. He stared at me for a long moment, before pulling me into the back room and locking it.

“Look, you have to promise not to tell anyone about this, okay? Not Alice, not Edward, no one. Got it?” Emmett said in a low voice. I immediately started to feel anxious.

“Okay,” I said, unsure of what I was getting myself into.

“There’s a good explanation for what’s been distracting me,” Emmett said slowly, leaning against one of the shelves. “It’s… something big. I can’t believe it actually happened, actually.” I folded my arms, suddenly anxious. I spoke with caution.

“What is it, Emmett?” I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know the answer. Emmett stared at me nervously before he sighed. “Yesterday… with Rosalie… things took an unexpected direction.” I stared at him blankly.

“Rosalie and I… slept together last night.”

My eyes widened, my face immediately pulling into shock. “You can’t be serious.” I couldn’t look at him at the moment, for some reason feeling panic. Emmett nodded gravely. “Things got a little carried away.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. Emmett did take advantage of the ‘poor crying girl’ after all. He answered my thoughts. “You’re probably thinking I was the one who initiated it,” he said, biting his lip. “You’re wrong, though. It was all her. She just started to kiss me, and I couldn’t stop her. As wrong as it was, it felt so right.” Emmett sighed. I stared at him for a moment, noting how I thought the exact same words the night before. Maybe Emmett and I had more in common than I thought.

“Emmett…” I said softly, touching his shoulder. “This isn’t right.” In my head, hypocrite was being chanted over and over. At least I didn’t sleep with Edward, I thought to myself.

“It was nothing, anyway. She’ll continue living her life, loving that sleazebag Greg or whatever his name is, knowing that all that happened between us was comfort sex,” Emmett said. I could detect sadness in his voice.

“Something tells me you’re not all too thrilled about that,” I told him quietly. Emmett looked at me for a moment. “Want to play two lies and a truth?” he asked me. I was surprised at this sudden invitation, especially using this as a subject change. But I decided not to question him. I had a feeling it would explain the situation some. “Sure,” I agreed.

“One: I’m in love with you. Two: I’m in love with Alice. And three: I’m in love with Rosalie,” he said, leaning back against the shelf again. I stared at him. My eyes softened, and I realized that he looked scared. Vulnerable, just as Edward’s face had shown when I looked at him last night. It was strange, especially how Emmett always seemed tough, like the protector. Now he looked like he was the one who needed to be protected.

“Oh, Emmett,” I whispered, as I stepped forward to give him a hug. “I know exactly what how you feel.” And I did. Because I didn’t see vulnerable, scared, afraid, for the first time, on Emmett’s face. No, I saw it everyday, when I looked in the mirror. The person staring back at me always looked that way.

-

We didn’t discuss the sudden realizations about Rosalie any further. I think we were both grateful that we didn’t have the time to. But I was ready to comfort him once more that afternoon, when Rosalie strode by Starbucks looking very sophisticated in her work clothes. She gave us a small smile as she waved through the window. I knew Emmett and Rosalie’s secret was supposed to be kept a secret, so I didn’t let it show on my face that I knew about it.

Emmett, however, looked torn up, raising his arm, but quickly looked away. Rosalie looked confused and maybe a little bit hurt but continued on her way without coming inside.

As I was sorting through the different brands of sugar packets, Emmett spoke suddenly. “Everyone always underestimates how I feel about certain things,” he said very seriously. I glanced at him for a brief moment before quickly looking back at what I was doing, asking, “What do you mean?”

“Well, everyone always thinks I’m all about messing around. No one ever thinks that maybe I want a real relationship, too,” Emmett said quietly. I stared at him for a long moment, surprised. “Do you?” I asked softly, not wanting to sound rude.

“You sound sceptical.”

“You’re always talking about ‘scoring’, and not the actual relationship. I figured that you actually believed what you said.” I hoped he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

He did. “I’m not a liar,” Emmett said, shaking his head. “Besides, someone needs to teach Edward and Jasper. They’re clueless in that department.” He laughed, and to ease the tension, I joined in.

He quickly turned serious again. “Rosalie’s the first girl I’ve ever actually felt a connection with, you know? But I know she’d never go for me. I’m trying to be more mature, but she’ll never let that Greg guy go.” I stayed quiet. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to reassure Emmett that things would turn out okay, but he might’ve been too trusting.

“We argue a lot, right? But that’s only because I love her. I hope she knows that,” Emmett continued, sounding more like he was talking to himself. I stepped to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. “She probably does. You never know.”

-

It was later in the afternoon that Alice called. Emmett and I were cleaning up, ready to close up shop for the day. Our other workers had come and gone, so we were alone; free to leave the empty café.

“Hello?” I said into my cell phone.

“Bella,” Alice said, sounding breathless. “Bella, did Rosalie call you already?” I swallowed, wondering what this conversation might lead to. I had a few ideas in my head already. “No,” I answered.

“Well, you and Emmett need to come home, pronto,” Alice said firmly. There was no doubt that I’d immediately follow her actions. I looked around, noticing that most of our work was done. It wouldn’t be impossible to leave.

“What’s going on?” I asked, starting to take off my green apron. Emmett looked over at me with a questioning look on his face. I shrugged at him, turning away before Alice spoke. “Rosalie has a work party. It’s kind of formal. And she needs to bring guests. So we have to go,” she said hurriedly. “Not that I’m complaining about a chance for all of us to look fabulous.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to be subjected to one of Alice’s makeovers again. “Alice, I don’t think that’s possible. There are a ton of customers here and—”

“You know, Bella, you’re a terrible liar,” Alice laughed. “And don’t worry about your wardrobe; I already got something for you. Just hurry home, alright?” I hung up and turned to Emmett. “We’re going to a party.”

“For who?”

“Well, it’s Rosalie’s work party.” Emmett’s face turned pale. I sighed. “I’m just about excited as you are.”

-

I will never forget the look on his face when I entered the room, feeling anxious and embarrassed. I flushed as people turned to look at me while I made my way through the crowd to where Jasper, Rosalie, and Edward were sitting. Rosalie’s mouth dropped open slightly, and Jasper raised his eyebrows.

The way Edward looked at me sent shivers down my spine. He seemed surprised for a moment, and then his lips pulled into the perfect smirk, as if he always knew I would come to the party looking this way. Alice seemed proud, pleased at their reactions. I shot a quick glance at Emmett, who looked like he wished he was anywhere but here.

“This feels so weird,” Rosalie whispered to us as we took our places. “I mean, look at us! We’re all dressed up at such a young age; we might as well be all grown up already.” I looked around—everyone here looked like college graduates, if not older. I wondered if she actually enjoyed her work.

“What a way to spend a Friday night—I’m too young for this crap,” Emmett muttered under his breath. Jasper and I, who were on either side of him, glanced at one another warily. I saw Rosalie’s eyes flash, but she remained silent.

After dinner was served, Jasper whisked Alice away to dance, and Rosalie was working her way through the room, mingling with the people she knew at work. I stood off to the side, leaning against a wall, glass of lemon water dangling in my hand. Emmett came up to me, running a hand through his curly hair.

“Is this normal?” Emmett asked me as we stood, watching the people dancing, laughing, and talking. I looked at him curiously. “What is?”

“Rosalie acting like nothing happened,” Emmett said in a flat voice. “I try to talk to her about it, but she always pretends to be distracted with someone from work. Or she walks away. She’s been avoiding me all night.”

“Maybe she really is busy with her co-workers,” I said in a feeble attempt to console him. I, myself, was still trying to avoid Edward’s gaze—I was still uncomfortable about the night before, but it seemed like Edward was pretending nothing happened.

“Maybe,” Emmett said, staring at me for a moment. He then looked around the room. “Where’s Edward?” he asked. I shrugged. “Did something go on between you two?” More shrugging on my part.

“Bella, whatever it is, stop running away from it, okay?” Something about Emmett’s voice made me believe he knew everything that happened the night before. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he just laughed and walked away. On his way to the dessert table, I saw Rosalie swiftly walk over to him and grab his arm, pulling him away from the crowd.

“You look beautiful.”

I turned to find Edward holding a single flower, a freesia. I blushed as he stepped forward. “Thank you,” I whispered, trying to control my beating heart. He smiled crookedly as he took my hand, placing the flower in my hand. “What’s this?” I managed to ask, staring into his green eyes.

“What does it look like?”

“Why are you giving me flowers all of a sudden?” I asked, suddenly suspicious as he chuckled. He leaned in, putting his lips to my ear. I could feel his cool breath as he whispered, “Can’t I give a beautiful woman flowers every now and then?”

My heart fluttered once, and I hurried to control my breathing. “Edward, about last night…” I said, trying to get the subject out in the open and off my chest. He pulled his head back to bore his eyes in mine. “Bella, I was completely out of line last night. Please forgive me. It’s just that…” I interrupted him, shaking my head as I spoke.

“Of course I forgive you—if there were any reason to do so in the first place,” I murmured. “You did nothing wrong.” A smile flashed across his face for a brief moment. He then took the freesia and brushed in again my now-trembling lips. I looked at him, my face questioning, curious. He laughed lightly before taking my hand and lowering the flower. He handed to me. I breathed in its lovely scent as he spoke. “Good. So are we friends now? Can we continue to let things go on as they were before?”

He was crazy to think that things wouldn’t change because of that moment, the incident which probably ensured that our relationship wouldn’t quite be the same. But I wanted to believe it. It was so easy for Edward to make me believe anything as long as he had determination in his voice. He accomplished whatever he put his mind to.

So I chose to believe him. Maybe it was right for things not to have moved on from last night. Our lives were completely different—he had a new love, someone beautiful and smart and talented just as he was, to make him happy. I, on the other hand, was single by preference, only because I was trying to heal a wounded heart and forget things I didn’t want to remember. I was reluctant to start anything new—I had way too much experience in getting hurt.

I glanced at his outstretched hand, that crooked smile on his insanely perfect face, those eyes that I knew wouldn’t lie. And I knew I could trust him. I reached out and took his hand, holding it for a moment before his cell phone rang. Was it really crazy for me to believe that he looked reluctant to turn away from me? But nevertheless, he did. I was left standing, flower in my hand, breathless, staring at his back, no doubt knowing who was at the other end of the line.

-

He left around ten. I knew exactly why. We all agreed to follow soon after. The truth was, I wanted to leave as soon as possible. I wasn’t having the time of my life, though Jasper and Alice sure did. They were a perfect pair on the dance floor, laughing as the songs played one after the other.

But across the room, it was a whole different story—for Emmett and Rosalie. They were, again, in heated argument, waving their hands animatedly. Then Rose took a look around the room, realizing it was quite the inappropriate place, and stormed outside, Emmett following after her.

They weren’t far away from where I was standing. I could hear every single word they said.

“Emmett, I can’t do this,” Rosalie’s voice was pained. “This is impossible. I can’t believe you’re asking me to do this.”

“Do what’s right, Rose. What do you call last night? A mistake? Because you were sure enjoying this ‘mistake’,” Emmett said back fiercely. I remembered the scared, vulnerable look on his face earlier and cringed.

“I’m sorry, Emmett,” Rosalie whispered, clearly more hurt than angry in her voice now. “It’s just not right. I love him.”

“Hey.” Another voice came into earshot, accompanied by footsteps. I took a peek outside and saw the man from the coffee shop—now confirmed as Greg. He was standing next to Rosalie now, arm around her shoulder. Emmett’s back was facing me, so I couldn’t see the look on his face.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” Greg kissed Rosalie’s cheek, but her eyes were still on Emmett—indignant. Greg looked at Emmett. “Hey, are you Emmett? I’ve heard a lot about you from Rose,” he outstretched a hand. I heard reluctance in Emmett’s voice as he shook it. “Yeah, I’m Emmett. I’ve heard about you too.”

I sighed, turning around just in time to see Alice and Jasper laughing and stumbling toward me, clearly having the time of their lives. They stopped and stared at me curiously for a moment, no doubt questioning my troubled expression. “Bella? Is everything alright?” Jasper asked first. I felt my cheek reddening, knowing that I’d have to reveal that I was eavesdropping. They looked over my shoulder for a moment, their eyes widening by the second.

“Oh my God, who is that dashing man with his arm around Rosalie?” Alice asked. Jasper raised his eyebrows.

“Clearly not Emmett,” I mumbled under my breath. They both looked at me at the same time. “What did you say? ‘Emmett’?” I shook my head quickly. “Nothing.”

“If you’ll excuse me for a moment,” I heard Emmett say politely, and then footsteps walking quickly toward us. “Uh oh,” Alice whispered, and she and Jasper pretended to be engaged in serious conversation.

“Let’s get out of here,” Emmett growled at us, making him seem scarier than an irritated grizzly. I had a feeling I knew why. “I can’t stand being around these people any longer.”

“Correction—you can’t stand being around Greg,” Alice chirped, not at all phased by Emmett’s angry expression. He glared at her, and Jasper shifted to stand protectively in front of her. “Let’s just go,” I muttered, grabbing Emmett’s arm and dragging all of us to the car. “What about Edward? And Rosalie?” My thoughts flew to Edward and what he was doing at that very moment.

“They can take care of themselves,” Jasper assured me. Then we headed toward the parking lot, a clear, starry sky above us, and for once, I didn’t like it. I wanted it to rain.

-

We were mostly silent on the way home, with the exception of the beginning of the ride, Alice jabbering much too loudly and excitedly to fit our moods. Jasper managed to quiet her down—they were engaged in whispered conversation while Emmett and I remained silent. I still held the flower Edward gave me in my hands, so tightly that I thought I would crush it.

When we got home, none of us said a word as we went to our respective places. Emmett went upstairs immediately to change, muttering something about how he wanted to rip off his itchy suit, while Alice, Jasper and I flopped down on the couch. My legs were dangling off one couch arm.

“Bella? What happened to Emmett?” Alice whispered. I shrugged. “The usual tension.” Alice glanced at Jasper. “I knew this would happen sooner or later?” I raised my head. “What would happen?”

“Emmett and Rosalie will realize they are passionately in love, but one of them refuses to stop denying it,” Alice sighed, as if it were painfully obvious. I stared in shock at her. “You always seem to be one step ahead of us, Alice.”

A grumble from upstairs made it clear that Emmett could hear us, and wanted to stop. Alice rolled her eyes. Jasper said nothing, but stared at Alice, who met his eyes as if they could read each other’s minds. I felt uncomfortable at that moment, so I excused myself.

“Edward is on the roof, by the way,” Alice called lightly after me. “Go see him.”

I turned with widened eyes to look at Alice for a brief moment. What was that supposed to mean? Why was I suddenly turning panicked? Nevertheless, zombie-like, I made my way to the attic.

The attic was still dark, and for a moment I thought that he had left. But I saw a motionless figure, indeed, sitting just outside of the opened window, so I moved forward. Crawling through, I plopped down to sit next to him.

“Do you still have the flower I gave you?” I turned red and showed him the crushed flower in my hands, not even realizing that I had crushed it on my way upstairs. “Sorry,” I whispered.

He didn’t seem to notice my response. “It looks exactly how I saw you the first time,” Edward murmured, raising a hand to brush across my warmed cheek. My heart started hammering, my breath becoming uncontrollable. I didn’t know exactly what he meant, but the look in his eyes made it easy for me to forget all about it.

This time, everything was becoming so real. We moved wordlessly now. He leaned in to press his lips against mine. His expression was sure now—no longer reluctant. He was determined, and I knew this was one of the many things he would be able to accomplish, to get away with.

I’d never felt so sure about anything more in a long, long time. I kissed him back, forgetting everything—Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice’s connection, the fact that Jacob still haunted my dreams once in awhile. I forgot all about Jacob, and focused on what was right in front of me.

His lips suddenly became more urgent, and he wrapped his arms around me as I wrapped my own arms around his neck, pulling his head closer, becoming entangled in his hair. Like I couldn’t get enough.

And then he chuckled against my lips, sounding relieved, and I laughed too, pressing my forehead against his, like I’ve wanted this for a long time. Maybe I did.

-

I hope some of you guys are actually going to read this fic, because I know a lot of you have been busy reading Breaking Dawn! Haha. I was supposed to pick up my copy too earlier, but my mom went out for a business meeting and I forgot my pre-order receipt was with her! So it sucks. But the good thing is, I used the time to complete the chapters for you! I love you all.

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Chapter: 13

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. If I owned the Twilight series and all the characters, I’d be writing a bunch more novels by now :)

I am extremely sorry for the late update. Things have been hectic, including the recent malfunction of the first computer I ever wrote my first story on. I don’t think the computer is fixable, which is pretty upsetting. I hope I’ll be able to get over it soon. But here’s the next chapter! Look out for Part II coming out soon!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Thirteen: Less Unforgivable, Part I

It was easy to forget who I was that night. I kissed him with more passion than I ever thought I could muster. I clung to him so tightly, my lips pressed against his, as if this was all I ever wanted.

His response surprised me. He seemed equally entranced as I was, moving his hands up and down my back slowly, deliberately, while kissing me. It was sort of embarrassing, if you thought of it really. Edward stayed perfectly calm, relaxed, while my breathing was so loud it competed with the thumping of my heart.

It was good to forget everything for once. I needed this. So badly. One part of me wanted him to get away from all my fears, from all my emotional insecurities, endless problems—but a bigger part of me wanted him because of that connection I felt with him that I knew was undeniable now.

As he swung my legs up in his arms and cradled me, slipping effortlessly through the window and down the stairs to his room, where he sent me gently on the bed and continued where we left off.

His lips moved eagerly with mine, and I pulled him closer, wanting to hold on tight. It was as if I held him any further that he would eventually slip between my fingers, into the darkness, leaving me alone.

This was how I found myself the next morning.

I woke up, my hair tousled and sticking out in all different directions, smelling faintly of the hairspray Alice had drenched it in the night before. I was covered with a blanket, which I threw back to reveal my wrinkled dress. Even though Alice would kill me, I thanked my lucky stars that I had all my clothing on.

I looked to the nightstand for a clock, and sure enough, there was the time. Early Saturday morning. I didn’t have to worry about work. I ran a hand through my severely tangled hair and looked around. I found a note underneath my purse on his desk.

Bella,

I had to leave. There was an emergency at the store. Make sure you leave my room discreetly if you want to avoid any awkward questions from the others.

Edward

I frowned. Had there been huge crowds of pre-teens waiting to buy the latest Hannah Montana CD or something like that? I realized that there could be many possibilities for emergencies. I shook my head and concentrated on the next thing he said.

Of course, I would leave his room quietly, with no one seeing. There had already been drama with Rosalie and Emmett, and I didn’t want to follow that route. And I needed to talk to Edward as soon as possible. If they did ask questions or say anything, I’d want to be able to confirm or deny their statements.

I crumpled up the note and stuffed it into my purse quickly. I touched my hair one more time, realizing I would have to get out of the room before I could make myself look decent. I got up, staring at Edward’s bed. Surely it would be impolite to just leave it unmade? I shook the sheets out, and his scent wafted all around me. I closed my eyes before letting the sheets fall onto the bed. I smoothed them out before heading to the door.

I stopped, realizing I was on the third floor. Sounds of a shower could be heard next door. “Crap,” I muttered to myself, realizing that Emmett or Jasper was within a few feet of me. I listened for the sound of singing, but there was none. It must be Jasper.

I decided to go through the attic to make my exit more discreet, if possible. I quickly made my way down the attic stairs, heels in one hand. I heard a low laugh from behind me as I reached the staircase to the second floor.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Emmett smirked at me, crossing his arms. “I didn’t expect that you’d follow my poor example, Bella.”

“Emmett,” I said, shocked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” My lying sounded somewhat smooth, for once. But I had gotten to known Emmett, and vice versa. He knew I was nothing short of a terrible liar.

“Really, Bella, what were you thinking?” Emmett asked, shaking his head. “The drama in this house is about to rocket sky-high.” I felt my eyes water, feeling humiliated and ashamed. I saw Emmett frown, and then his face softened in guilt.

“Nothing happened,” I choked out. “We kissed, that was it. I barely remembered what happened. But Edward is too much of a gentleman to make it go anywhere. A gentleman who has a girlfriend, I might add.” I was babbling now, and the more I talked, the worse I made myself feel. The more I wasn’t thinking as I spoke.

Emmett stared at me for a long moment. I thought he was going to follow up with some jokes. And even though I knew Emmett would just be joking, it would make me feel even worse. I was extremely over-sensitive nowadays.

But he didn’t. “You missed the late night eating and groveling,” Emmett said casually. “You should have seen it. I cleaned out the entire fridge. I practically scared Jasper and Alice half to death.” He laughed, sort of nervously now. I didn’t bother asking him why he did it. I had a pretty good idea already.

“But Bella,” Emmett continued suddenly, in a low voice, “I did a lot of thinking last night. And I’m going to grow up. Rose made her decision. I’m going to make mine.” He smiled now, although he was still plainly serious. I frowned at him. “You don’t have to change for anyone, you know.”

“I know,” Emmett assured me. “This is all about me. Trust.” There was something about the look in his eyes that made me question him. They seemed to sure, yet so reluctant at the same time. I pressed my lips into a thin line.

My eyes met his for a moment. “We all need to grow up, Bella,” Emmett said in a voice so gentle I could hardly believe it was coming from him.

I sighed, tucking a lock of brown hair behind my ear. I responded to his double message, the one that I knew was hidden in his voice. “I know.”

-

I could smell coffee and doughnuts in the air as Emmett and I made our way down the stairs. I made Emmett swear not to tell anyone about what had happened between Edward and me. I knew that Emmett wouldn’t tell, but I felt the need to hear his solemn vow of secrecy as extra reassurance.

My face burned with embarrassment. It felt as if everyone was looking at me, and they did, although I knew they didn’t know anything. But it was as if I had “I kissed Edward” written all over my face. I looked down as I sat quietly at the island. Emmett saw me stiffen when we made our way down the stairs and already proceeded to tell a joke. I sighed in relief.

“There’s no food,” Alice complained, her angelic face twisted into a frown. “Emmett, why did you have to clean the whole house out? Honestly…”

I looked up, and instead I felt a pair of eyes boring holes into the side of my head. I turned to meet a cold gaze from Rosalie, and I stared at her for a moment before childishly looking away. What was wrong with her? Did she know something? Questions were burning into my brain, screaming loudly above all my other thoughts.

“Are you alright, Bella?” Jasper asked me quietly as Alice and Emmett argued about the appropriate grocery shopping intervals. I nodded weakly, still avoiding Rosalie’s icy glare. It seemed like Jasper and Alice were one mind—they could tell when something was wrong and sensed my emotions.

“Okay, whatever, Emmett!” Alice huffed. “If it bugs you so much, I’ll go grocery shopping, alright? We don’t have to make this a bigger deal than it is.” She put her hands on her hips before spinning on her heel and grabbing her purse. “I’ll leave now. Saturday is the most popular day for grocery shopping, and I want to beat the crowds.”

I half-expected her to grab Jasper, or for Jasper to follow her loyally, but he remained seated, sipping his coffee, book open in front of him. I took this as an opportunity to get out, and get out fast. I could feel tension from Rosalie creeping up.

“I’ll go,” I blurted out, raising my hand awkwardly and then lowering it. Alice gave me a nod of approval before walking smoothly out the door. I followed her outside to her Porsche and got in, feeling a wave of relief wash over me, the heat leaving my cheeks.

“We have nothing… no eggs, milk, bread, butter… the basic staples,” Alice sighed, preoccupied as she muttered an entire shopping list to herself, never seeming to forget anything. “Sometimes it’s really difficult living with so many people. It’s something I’m not really used to.” She laughed, keeping her tone light, but I knew the subject matter wasn’t something to be taken lightly.

“Do you ever get sick of it?” I asked her, relieved that I could hang on to this conversation to distract her from my anxious body language. Alice turned to look at me, her eyes suddenly serious. “Never.”

“Never?”

“Never. How could I? I’ve been so used to being alone for such a long time… but I love being around people even more. I like to think that it’s made me stronger, you know? I was able to find a way out of the loneliness by myself. I know it sounds cliché, but I was able to teach myself how to love, even when my parents never gave me anything besides money.”

“Do you hate them?” I hoped I wasn’t sounding rude.

“No. How could I? They gave me something, at least,” Alice’s laughs sounded like music to my ears. “Maybe they just don’t know what they’re doing is wrong. They’re so caught up in their own lives that they don’t have a chance to open their eyes. I look forward to the day when they’ll be around long enough so I can show them. I know it’s difficult to believe, but where will we all be without hope? I have so many people that I love, and vice versa, and that’s enough.” I was suddenly teary now, her words bringing me face-to-face with the upsetting present. She didn’t hate her parents. Even though her parents had given her practically nothing; even though they weren’t much of parents, she still had hope that she could possibly save her relationship with them.

Alice was the type of girl who believed love could save the day. No matter what happened, what kind of trials and obstacles happened in all her relationships, she loved them so selflessly that she believed that someday they might love her back. She hoped for the future, and she did it with such grace and flawlessness that it was difficult to doubt her. It was so easy to see why all the townsfolk loved her. And why, on that first day of my permanent summer stay at Forks, my father talked about her so highly.

It was so easy to compare her to myself. While I was away, unwilling to visit Charlie because of my now-known idiocy, Alice was there, and she could’ve taken my place if she wanted to. Instead, she left my place as daughter untouched, with my room in the house to go along with it.

I knew now that Charlie was always in my life. No matter if we were miles apart, he was always there in the background, willing to be part of anything, as long as I wanted him to be. Charlie was a choice, and when I was a younger, I always wanted to include him in my life. When I pulled away, he faded into the background, letting me go on with my life as he slowly became less and less in the picture, until one day, he wouldn’t be there at all.

-

As we drove to the grocery store, Alice looked at me worriedly. “Bella, is there something on your mind?” I nodded slowly, knowing she would be serious about this subject, unlike the way she would be if the topic were, for example, Edward. I groaned out loud as I thought of him, for a moment completely forgetting about the incident that occurred last night. I pushed that thought to the side for just another second.

“Alice,” I whispered to her, staring blankly out the windshield. “You’re so selfless… you’re willing to forgive your parents, who for some unimaginable reason barely spend time to get to know you and love you… while I… I’m unwilling to forgive Charlie, who’s always been trying to be part of my life more since I was born.”

“Still haven’t forgiven him about Helena, huh?” Alice asked me meekly, and I shook my head in frustration. “I don’t know why, Alice. It’s so difficult for me…” Alice just smiled at me. “It’s not that difficult, Bella. Just let yourself go. Get rid of that barrier; just put your guard down for one second. Just fall.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. You just need to figure it out for yourself,” Alice smiled brighter this time as she pulled into the parking lot and then fluffed up her short hair. She stepped out into the drizzle and closed the door, while I followed, zipping my coat and pulling the hood up as far over my head as it would go.

-

The Thriftway was Forks’ main grocery store, and on a Saturday, it was crowded. Alice, as usual, said her hellos to almost everyone while I followed timidly, replying to everyone who said hi to me. When we got to the produce section, Alice frowned and poked at the various fruits and vegetables with obvious disapproval on her face. She was always angled so that only I would see it.

Just then, a man came out of the back room, with boxes of fruits piled onto a little trolley. He looked bored, almost irritated, as he pushed the cart to each of the fruits’ respective places. Alice’s face turned from unimpressed to delight. “Bella, do you mind grabbing the box of organic cereal you know Rosalie likes? I can never seem to find it. They put it in a different place every time.” Alice’s complaint sounded more like a compliment.

“Sure.”

“I’m just going to go talk to Marcus for a second…” The produce man looked up upon hearing, what I presumed, was his name. Alice flashed her ultra-white teeth at him. I watched as she danced to his side, his bored expression hardly seeming to change.

I walked passed each aisle, reading the signs in each of them, searching for the one with ‘Cereal’ on it. Alice had told me that it was never in the usual place, but I decided to start with the most obvious place it wouldn’t be. I was just about to pass another aisle when I stopped. I frowned, stepping back to stare into the aisle.

It was the aisle for various personal items, mostly for women, such as deodorants and tampons. And of course, there were other items that were embarrassing to look at or even examine; things that I didn’t dare touch. The woman was looking at these things now. She picked up a pregnancy test, and I nearly died.

Because the woman was Helena, Charlie’s girlfriend.

-

I gasped and flung a hand to my mouth. Honestly, how much more drama would be a-stirring in my life? Unfortunately, I was about to find out. I quickly ducked past the aisle, a hand still over my mouth in disbelief. I was ready to run out of there without even telling Alice. But I lost my chance when I heard a voice in the next aisle I was about to pass, an awfully familiar one.

“Thanks for coming with me, Carmen,” the sweet voice said. I recognized it now. It was Tanya’s.

“No problem,” the girl named Carmen replied. She had a thick accent in her voice, which made it both exotic and lovely. My stomach started to knot up when I realized that I was eavesdropping, but it was better than rounding the corner and seeing Charlie’s girlfriend again. In addition to that, I wanted to stay because a topic of interest came up: Edward.

“So, who are you going out with again? That guy, Edward, right?” Carmen asked. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I thought about our little rendezvous last night. My heart started pounding and my head was spinning. A wave of guilt flowed over me. My head was telling me to forget about Edward, to take that kiss (well, more than just a kiss) back, but my heart knew that I never would.

“Yes,” Tanya didn’t exactly sound enthusiastic. I took a step back, pretending to stare at some rolls of paper towels. Carmen read my mind. “You don’t sound too happy about it.”

Tanya sighed, her voice boarding on resentful. “I don’t know. Everything’s alright, I guess. But for some reason… I just don’t think it’ll work out.” My body became numb. I felt slightly angry at Tanya for feeling that way, but a part of me was rejoicing.

“Why not?” Carmen prodded.

“Well, it seems like he was never really with me in the first place… it was always like his mind was on other things. But he’d never tell me, even when I asked,” Tanya quietly replied. I started to feel terrible. I thought about Edward. How could he have let them go on as a couple this long? Why didn’t Tanya break up with him?

“So this is Edward’s fault.” Carmen wasn’t asking a question.

“No… it’s mine, as well. We’re completely different, I feel like we want different things. And I just think we’re better off being friends.”

“Are you going to break up with him?”

“I don’t know.”

I covered my mouth. I was about to be sick. This was all too much to handle. Who knew that so much could be discovered at a grocery store? My legs started moving before my brain had time to register it. But as soon as I rounded the corner to go through the aisle and head toward the doors, Alice called my name.

“Bella!” she exclaimed, her perfect voice was cheerful. I turned to look around until I spotted her, hopping up and down, holding a peach. Marcus the produce guy was standing next to her, not looking the slightest bit amused. I swallowed and walked toward her, pinching my cheeks as I did so. They weren’t red now, my usual blush. The colour had drained from my cheeks, and I probably looked pale and sickly.

Alice didn’t seem to notice, which was unusual since she seemed to always be able to tell what I was feeling. Alice found me easy to read, but Edward, on the other hand, once told me that it was difficult for him. “You didn’t find the cereal?” Alice asked, not sounding the least bit disappointed. I shook my head.

“Marcus has the best peaches,” Alice said proudly, holding one up, a whole wooden carton full of peaches in front of her. I looked at Marcus, who shrugged, the same bored expression on his face. “Not really.”

I don’t know how I did it, but I asked Alice if I could go to her car and make a phone call. It was the perfect excuse to get out of the grocery store. If I stayed any longer, I was bound to make an awkward encounter with acquaintances I didn’t want to talk to. My brain didn’t seem to function properly today as I walked out into the drizzle to the Porsche, Alice’s keys in one hand, cell phone in the other.

I got into the passenger’s seat and closed the door. I dialed his number robotically. I stared out into the dense, lush greenery past the parking lot as the phone rang, waiting for his voice.

Finally he answered.

“Hi,” I whispered, leaning back into the car seat.

“Bella?” Already I started to feel weak.

-

Again, sorry for the late update! I hope you guys aren’t mad at me for another cliffy. There isn’t any ear candy for this chapter. I haven’t been able to listen to any really good music lately. If you guys want, please recommend some good music – artists/songs! And please vote in the latest poll! This is your last chance—I’ll be putting up a new poll when I upload the next chapter. Thanks for the support, guys. I really love reading your reviews.

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Chapter: 14

Disclaimer: Owning Twilight is a dream that will never come true.

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Fourteen: Less Unforgivable, Part II

I sat there, frozen, the phone glued to my ear by my hand. I couldn’t put it down. I felt an instant thrill and scare as his voice repeated my name, growing more urgent and anxious when I didn’t respond. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t respond. Finally I just flipped the phone shut on his velvety, entrancing voice.

Why had I even called Edward in the first place? That was a good question, with an answer that I was starting to question myself. My body tingled when I walked like a zombie to Alice’s car, as I punched his cell number in my heart starting beating faster and faster. I was so sure as to what I was going to do, but I couldn’t trust myself, not with the state my brain was in.

I was going to call Edward and tell him everything I had ‘overheard’ from Tanya and Carmen’s conversation in the grocery store. I was going to tell him every single little detail and give him a chance to let it sink in. Then he would be upset, and break up with Tanya. And then… he and I would finally have a chance to be together.

But who was I kidding? I didn’t want Edward to be upset—who wanted the object of their affections to be upset? Edward had liked Tanya for a long time… surely this would bring some disappointment. But he had kissed me. And that kiss made me believe that he loved me more than anything in the world.

I tried to picture how I would break the news to him. But as I pictured it, my plan began to look less and less pretty. How would he take the news, coming from me? I was the other woman now, the very thing that I never wanted to be. I didn’t want to be the source to tearing a seemingly happy couple apart. They could take care of themselves.

I felt tears falling from my face, and I frowned in disgust. I was so sick of crying. So sick and tired. Why couldn’t anything be right for a change? I knew life wasn’t always fair. I didn’t want to whine and cry about it all the time, but my emotions were wired to my tear ducts.

Maybe that’s how Edward felt about me. Whenever I felt upset or cried about Jacob, he was there for me. But did he truly believe in what he was doing? Was he ever the slightest bit irritated or annoyed that I could never truly get over the pain Jacob had inflicted on me, after all this time?

Edward wouldn’t come crying to me after he broke up with Tanya. More so, I didn’t want him to. So why did it happen vice versa? I came crying to Edward, but I would feel terrible if he did the same with me. Especially if I was the source. I didn’t want to be the rebound girl. But for me, was Edward the rebound guy?

I wiped my tears away from the tissues in the box Alice kept between the seats. I didn’t want to ruin the upholstery of her seemingly brand new car. As I checked my face in the rearview mirror, I caught sight of a black-haired woman exiting the store. She was carrying a number of groceries in her hands, and she looked like she was struggling.

What if Helena was carrying a baby? I still couldn’t help but wince thinking of Charlie. Nevertheless, this woman could be pregnant, and I didn’t want her to be carrying heavy things. I felt bad for anyone who looked like they were struggling. I sighed and my conscience and instincts told me to help her. I got out of the car reluctantly into the drizzle, once again pulling my hood up over my head.

I approached Helena, who now set down the bags looking tired. She was Charlie and my mom’s age, for sure. But her tired face made her look older. “Can I help you?” I asked, keeping my tone casual. I gesturing to the bags she had set on the ground. Helena looked at me with her dark eyes. I didn’t know if she could see my face properly, what with the darkness of the clouds.

She smiled. “I would like that, thank you very much for your offer.” I picked up a few of her bags, leaving her to carry only one. “My car is that one,” she said, gesturing to a car that I didn’t know the name of. Despite the efforts of Edward and Rosalie, who tried to teach me the various car names, I barely remembered any and didn’t want to bother.

I walked beside her, looking straight at her car. I held the bags, watching where I was stepping in fear that I would trip and the bags and their contents would go flying all over the place. I tried to shake a piece of hair in my face away as she opened her car. But first, she set her bags down and looked at me.

“Thank you so much,” she said in her soft voice.

“It’s not a problem, really,” I replied, hoping that I could just put the bags in her trunk and walk away. I wasn’t really in the mood for small talk.

“You know, Bella, I’ve always wanted to meet you,” Helena said, surprising me. How could she tell who I was? Charlie wasn’t one to talk about anyone else in detail. I quickly averted my eyes from Helena, realizing I had the same eyes as Charlie. Was that really enough to give me away, though?

I didn’t know how to respond, so Helena continued. “I feel terrible about what’s happened, Bella, so please forgive me. Charlie just wants what’s best for you. He doesn’t want you to be unhappy, so we’ve decided to take a break. We’d like to pick things up again once everything is worked out.” She put a hand on my shoulder. I almost flinched, as if she had tasered me. “Please come back home, Bella. Please let Charlie know as soon as you’re ready.”

Helena’s voice was oddly soothing, and as much as I wanted to be angry at her for saying ‘please come back home’ as if she were my mother, I couldn’t. After all, she was making Charlie happy, right? I wanted what was the best for him too.

So Helena and Charlie were on a ‘break’, even though she thought she was pregnant? That I didn’t understand, but I suddenly felt terrible for being the source.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my eyes watering with tears. Helena gave me a comforting smile. “Don’t be. I know everything came as a quite a shock, but I hope you can give me a chance.” With that, she swiftly put her groceries in the car and drove away, just as Alice came dancing out of the store, receipt in hand, Marcus pushing the cart behind her. He looked neither amused nor annoyed.

“Hi, Bella! Who was that?” Alice asked me cheerfully. “I saw you talking to a woman just now, while I was paying.” I shook my head and smiled at Alice. “Charlie’s girlfriend.” Alice’s mouth dropped open. “What happened?”

“Nothing really,” I said as Alice opened the trunk and Marcus started to load groceries inside. As Alice and I helped him, Alice raised her eyebrow at me. “You can tell me later. But guess who I saw in the grocery store?”

“Who?”

“Tanya. She was with Carmen, one of her friends who live in Seattle,” Alice said, and for once, it sounded as if she weren’t cheerful. We finished loading the groceries, and Marcus gave us a two-fingered salute and slouched back to the store. As we got in the Porsche, Alice continued.

“Tanya and Carmen gave me a look and asked if I was seeing anyone new,” Alice frowned, her voice dark now. “As if. Tanya knows damn well how much I love Jasper. And even worse, they indicated as if they thought I was with Marcus.” She shuddered, shaking her head. “I wouldn’t go out on a date with him if my life depended on it. He’s pretty much bored all the time, and don’t even get me started on the people he hangs around with…”

I let Alice ramble on until she said something that perked my interest. “I wish Tanya and Edward would just break up already,” she mumbled, as if she were ashamed to say it. “Tanya thinks she’s all innocent, but believe me, under those strawberry-blond locks is a mind of evil.” I burst out laughing. Alice rolled her eyes.

I wanted to tell Alice about Tanya’s urge to break up with Edward, but I couldn’t. The words home wrecker flashed through my brain. “I wish Edward would just get with you already.” I opened my mouth in protest, but Alice interrupted me quickly. “It’s pretty clear that you and Edward had a little make-out session last night.”

I gaped at her in horror. “Alice… how did… what…” The corners of Alice’s mouth twitched as she gauged my expression. “Did you see the way you sprinted upstairs after I told you Edward was on the roof?” My cheeks turned red and I looked away, immediately serious.

“Nothing happened,” I murmured. Alice sighed. “You need to stop sounding like a broken record. It’s not doing anyone any good.” I was silent for a moment, knowing that Alice’s words weren’t meant to be as harsh as I took them.

“I’m not encouraging that you continue this, Bella,” Alice said sternly. “But it’s quite obvious that you and Edward have some sort of connection…” I stared at her patiently, waiting for her to continue. “I mean, there’s an electrifying chemistry, some sort of unexplained intense feelings when the two of you are in the same room. Jasper talked to me about it. He has an uncanny knack of feeling emotions. And even I can feel it too. But it seems like there’s no possible way of a resolution, not with Tanya in the picture.” Alice looked away from me, out the window. “And nothing’s going to happen to her.”

I pressed my head against the window. “I know.” What I didn’t know was the way I would act with Edward around when I saw him next. Surely this would put a strain on our relationship. How long would we be able to keep the illusion of friendship? And at that very moment, I realized that we couldn’t just stay friends. Something was bound to happen, and it already did. It just wasn’t the right time, place, or situation.

-

On the way home, I thought up of a resolution, even though Alice said there was no possible way. It didn’t involve Edward, but it involved me. It was a quiet drive, but not the least uncomfortable or awkward. Alice seemed absorbed in her own thoughts as well. I was still in deep thought as Alice pulled into the driveway, Emmett and Jasper ready on the porch to help unload.

Emmett touched me lightly on the shoulder as Jasper went to greet Alice at her car. “Rosalie seems really angry at the moment. It’s probably because of me and what happened the night before, but she’s always been angry at me. But she seems really intent on showing it today, so look out,” Emmett warned me. I nodded, still caught up in my own thoughts and headed inside.

Maybe I wouldn’t have to exclude Edward… maybe this was possible in a way…

I walked hesitantly inside the house, keeping an eye out for Edward. As I headed into the living room, I heard the faint sounds of a piano playing upstairs. It was unlike Edward to play so lightly, as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear. I sighed and decided to head back out to help them carry the groceries inside.

As I went back to the front door, I had a feeling that someone was watching me. I shuddered and turned around instinctively, and sure enough, Rosalie was standing there. Her arms were crossed and her gorgeous face wasn’t the least bit friendly.

“Um, hi, Rosalie…” I said, uncertain, trying to break the sudden ice created between us.

“Bella… can I talk to you for a moment?” Rosalie asked me, her tone every bit as serious as her face. My stomach tied up in knots. What was this about?

Then it dawned on me. I had the sudden feeling that I knew what this was all about…

I followed Rosalie into the kitchen where she leaned against the counter, her arms still crossed. Panic instantly entered my system, making my heartbeat race twice as fast as usual.

“Listen Rosalie, I’m really sorry—” I said in a hushed whisper, my voice strained. I had to get my story out before she started. In the time I’d gotten to know Rosalie, it seemed like the other side of a person’s side of the story didn’t affect her opinion of them.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Bella,” Rosalie hissed, her face making it clear she was angry at me. “How could you? Of all the ridiculous things you could do, you decided to—”

I was getting angry myself now. How could she think that I actually decided to have Emmett spill the truth about the two of them to me? I was looking out for him. I didn’t want to have him lose his job over the way he was acting, the aftermath to what they did…

“I didn’t decide anything, Rose,” I replied, furious now. “I didn’t have a choice. It came out of nowhere, and I couldn’t just ignore him or run away!”

“Like it wasn’t so easy to just tell him no or stop…”

“I didn’t even know where things were going to go!” I exclaimed, my eyes wide in disbelief. Was Rosalie actually shouting at me for what Emmett did? Not that I wanted Emmett to be on worse terms with Rosalie than he already was…

“So things went somewhere?” Rosalie gasped, and her face turned into disbelief as well. “I can’t believe this… I never knew you were that kind of person, Bella Swan… and I can’t believe that… Edward…”

“Edward?” I asked, confused. Wait, what? What was she talking about? Were we really talking about the same thing? Edward? And then my eyes widened slowly in realization. Edward. She knew everything.

“Who did you think I was talking about?” She asked me suspiciously as I staggered back, almost tripping over one of the chair legs. “N-No one,” I whispered. Shock spread across her face as she tried to fit together the pieces. She turned around, her breathing heavy as she contemplated. Then she spun around to face me, her face a mixture of upset and lividness.

“You wouldn’t happen to be talking about Emmett, would you?” Her voice smoothly interrogated me, making me force to confess. Needless to say, I didn’t lie well. “No, what about him?” I choked out.

“I can’t believe this. Emmett told you, didn’t he?” Rosalie hissed. “I knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this secret. Did you tell anyone?” I shook my head slowly in response.

“So now you know. But what’s all this with Edward, hmm? You think that you can just weasel your way through the group without any of us noticing—” I laughed a shocked, startled laugh. Rosalie had a flair for the dramatic. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood to reciprocate.

“Weaseling my way through the group? No, Rosalie. I suppose it’s just Edward. But how would you know anything that’s going on, what with you spending all your time with—” I knew I was being rude now, and it was unusual for me. But this sudden elation for expressing all my thoughts was worth it.

“Don’t. Don’t even say that, Bella. I saw you,” Rosalie said, her tone abrupt and accusing. “I saw you last night on the roof with Edward. Obviously you two were… too busy to see Greg pull up into the driveway. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have two people you know publicly displaying unfaithfulness?”

“I guess I would,” I shot back, and the blood rushed from her face. I instantly regretted what I said, but her expression turned unforgivable toward me, and there was no point.

“So you don’t feel bad at all for what you’re doing? Think about Tanya and Edward!” My eyes watered as I made a mental picture in my head of what Rosalie was probably thinking.

“How about you? Think about what you’re doing, Rosalie,” my words were a strained whisper now, and I feared they didn’t have as much power as I hoped they would. “Think about Greg’s wife. Has she ever done anything to you? And he has a kid, for goodness sake!”

“I could say the same about you. Face it; we’re both in the same situation. Yours is just worse than mine,” she hissed. I could tell she was trying to convince me that way; unfortunately, it didn’t work. It was clear who had the worse scenario.

And that was it. My face hardened into a frozen expression, staring at back at her. At that moment, Rosalie was no longer the most beautiful girl in my eyes. I could never, ever say that she was ugly, but suddenly, being her was less than desirable.

“The difference between you and me, Rosalie, is that unlike you, I’ve opened my eyes. I’m going for what’s right in front of me, someone who wants me just as much as I want him. Do you think Greg’s ever going to leave his wife? Even after telling you he would, he still hasn’t done it. You can keep lying to yourself if you want. But I know for a fact that someone is waiting for you. He’s loved you for a long time and you choose to ignore it. You chose to stay with someone who can only love you half the time, when another guy is willing to give all of him to you.” I needed to get that off my chest. It was like my inner voice came out and took over my body. I felt a hysterical laughter burst through my lips. The dizzying sensation nearly caused me to stumble and fall as tears clouded my vision.

I can only faintly remember Rosalie’s astonished look on her face. She sunk to the ground, covering her face in her hands, as I ran from the kitchen, my heart pounding. I pushed through the door, knowing that Alice, Emmett, and Jasper were standing there in shock. I heard the rustle of a plastic grocery shopping bad as my leg made contact with it. I pushed past the open screen door into the fresh, clean air.

It felt good to breathe it in, but not enough to stop crying. And then it suddenly hurt to breathe. I was gasping now. My thoughts started to clear a little. I thought about my last departing words to Rosalie. Did I really believe Edward was going to just break up with Tanya and love me as a whole? No; it would take time for him to heal, as it did for me with Jacob. But that led me to deeper questions. Had the wounds from Jacob even healed yet?

Edward had only kissed me when he loved me incompletely. He was still attached to Tanya. He liked her for so long.

I could do nothing but hope. I continued to run as I thought about how I told Rosalie that I’ve opened my eyes. Had I really? My questions were only half-answered. I wanted to believe that Edward loved me as much as I felt he did when he kissed me.

Would I ever be able to find out? I felt like I couldn’t go back to that house, to face them all. I could imagine the looks on Alice’s, Jasper’s, Emmett’s, Rosalie’s, and even Edward’s faces as they found out about what had exploded between me and Rosalie. They knew her better than they knew me; of course they would choose sides. I didn’t want sides. I didn’t ever anticipate something like this to happen. Alice was usually good at predicting these kinds of situations, but even this was something she couldn’t predict.

This was unfortunate, because I wasn’t prepared for what Rosalie had thrown at me. I loved each and every one of them in their own special way. After the consequences of our actions, we all exposed parts of ourselves that no one had ever seen. Emmett, his secret longing for a real love; Alice, her fear that she would ruin Jasper no matter how much she loved him; Jasper, wanting to breaking away from all the expectations his family had given him and do what he wanted to do…

And I still loved them all. I say this as if I had known them well before everything had been revealed. But strangely enough, it felt like I really did.

Would they love me, and more importantly, Edward, after what we had done? I didn’t want them to turn into strangers again. I had had enough strangers in my life, including myself.

I kept running to nowhere, until I finally realized where my legs were taking me—to my unfamiliar new house. I ran past the trees until the quaint house came into view. I stopped in front of my house, catching my breath. I was never an athlete—no doubt that this short run would be difficult for me. I didn’t care if Charlie or Helena would be able to see me.

As soon as my pulse had slowed some, I looked up into the front lawn at the house. I stared into the window, the curtains drawn and all doors shut. My gut feeling told me that they weren’t home—I checked the driveway, and sure enough, Charlie’s police cruiser was absent.

My feet did not want to stop. I immediately made my way up the driveway and onto the porch. I silently prayed that Charlie had kept his old key-hiding spots. Sure enough, I felt in one of the hanging flower pots the familiar garage key. I smiled a tiny smile—this small feeling of joy was not enough to dispel the current situation.

I grabbed the key and jumped off the steps. I went to the garage and unlocked it. My eyes filled with renewed tears as I saw the covered vehicle inside. I threw it off to reveal my massive, red, old truck. I wished it were a person—I would’ve hugged it. Nevertheless, I touched it in amazement, to see if it were actually there. I felt a small pang of doubt that our reunion was only bittersweet.

I got in, and as usual, the vehicle thundered to life, creating a noise that was familiar yet startling, since I hadn’t heard it in a long time. I cringed and hoped that the neighbors wouldn’t mind, and hopefully, wouldn’t notice. I didn’t care if Charlie or Helena panicked at the sight of the garage opened. I didn’t care if they thought that the truck was stolen. That was an ill thought—of course, with the sound of my truck; it would be obvious to catch the crook if it had been stolen in the first place.

The truck was slow. I felt hurt to have such a thought enter my mind—I was so used to driving Rosalie’s or Alice’s cars, or riding in a fast car because of the driver. I pulled out of the driveway and onto the street, not sure of where I was going. Maybe I could wait a little before going back to the house and packing my stuff. But where would I go?

The timing was only too perfect. The situation was enough to get me running back to Charlie—and I was sure he would only be too happy to let me in. I considered this. I took a deep breath as I drove slowly through the streets. Yes, Bella. You’re ready. I swallowed as I realized how much I missed Charlie. Helena or no Helena, I wanted to be part of his life again.

-

I pulled up to the curb on a random street, not too far from the boarding house or Charlie’s. The streets were dark, barely illuminated by the few street lamps, and the trees provided more darkness than I was comfortable with. Nevertheless, I stayed in the truck, not thinking of the future, not thinking of anything.

And then he silently opened the door, sliding into the passenger’s seat. I froze in shock. I didn’t see him, and I didn’t know it was him. I did not scream, although I was pretty close before I heard his voice.

“Bella.”

“How’d you find me?”

“It wasn’t that difficult in a town this big.” I closed my eyes. I didn’t know exactly what I would say next. We sat there in silence, in the dark. I flicked the light on and turned to look at him. As usual, he looked amazing, like a male model.

“Why are you here?” I whispered. It was needless to say that I felt greedy. I wanted him to say that he was here because he loved me. But how could he when his heart belonged to another?

“I’m here because I love you.”

-

You guys are just about ready to kill me, huh? Thanks for the reviews, everyone! I didn’t expect my little story to become such a hit with you guys. I couldn’t ask for more or better support! Ah, so school has started, and I’ll try to update as much as I can. I was anticipating that this would be a summer story, but I got further behind schedule than I planned. Oh well ? Thanks for reading.

New Poll: I hope you’ve all read Breaking Dawn, because my poll question is about a certain character in the book. It’s one of the two final questions to complete the outline of my next fic! Please vote!

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Chapter: 15

Disclaimer: I don’t own Twilight… la la la.

There seems to be a little confusion with exactly who had gotten in the car in the previous chapter. I had written, “As usual, he looked amazing, like a male model” as a clear hint to exactly who I was talking about. But nonetheless, that attended to the amount of anticipation you guys had to find out, so I found that amusing. Anyway, on with the chapter!

Ear Candy:

Chasing Pavements – Adele

Nineteen Stars – Meg & Dia

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Fifteen: The Last Kiss

I let out a small gasp as my mind registered his words. They were words I had been longing to hear for only too long, but now they just sounded wrong. It gave me a strange feeling of hurt for someone so heartbreakingly beautiful and perfect to speak such words for me, someone who was plain and ordinary, yet hopelessly broken.

I choked out my response as my eyes flooded with tears. I never dreamed that I’d cry over a boy again. Alice once told me that no boy was worth my tears. But with Edward, I knew he was no ordinary boy. “I love you too.”

We sat in silence for awhile, until he reached over and stroked my cheek, wiping away every new tear that rolled down my face. I trembled under his touch, and he leaned closer. I closed my eyes as I breathed in his scent. “Please don’t cry,” his velvety voice was muted into a soft murmur. I opened my eyes and looked into his green ones, which looked anxious and upset. It was wrong.

And then he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I complied, even though I knew it was wrong. I tried to ignore the electric current running through my body. It wasn’t at all like the way we kissed before. It was the complete opposite.

This kiss was calm, with practically no urgency. It was as if time had stopped, as if we were the only two people in the world, and nothing mattered.

And it had to stop, for this reason. Because we weren’t the only two people in the world, and everything mattered.

I pulled away from him, trying to cover up the small gasp that escaped my lips. I leaned back in the car seat, but he sat frozen, still leaned toward me. “Bella…”

“Don’t say my name, Edward.”

He pulled back, looking the least bit settled as he stared at me, his eyes boring into mine. He once said that he wished he could read my mind. I was so unpredictable and the least bit like an open book, in his eyes. And then his eyes softened, and then turned hard, almost icy as he looked away from me.

“Is it incredibly selfish of me to say that I don’t want to take back what happened last night?” Edward whispered, still not looking at me. I closed my eyes once more, the tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks. You’re not going to cry, I thought to myself. You’re not going to cry.

“Yes, yes it is,” I barely choked out. “It was wrong, it was completely, utterly, unbelievably…”

“Perfect.” His velvety voice was incomprehensibly rich, as if he were choking back tears himself.

“Stop it,” I hissed. “Don’t make this harder than it already is, Edward. I beg you.” For a second, I looked at Edward’s face. It seemed as if his green eyes flashed, widening. I felt the pain tingle in my arms and legs, and then puncture straight through my heart. It hurt to think of my emotions, of my thoughts at that very moment. I wasn’t unfamiliar to this type of pain.

“You know what? That’s what I thought when I met you,” Edward’s voice was welcoming a story, like music to my ears and making me feel warm inside. But I was dead set on being cold. I didn’t want to continue. If he continued, I would never go back now.

“This isn’t making it any easier,” I said, the tears flowing freely now. He wiped them with the back of his head. “I asked you not to cry,” Edward said gently, gathering me in his arms. My breathing increased, and he murmured into my hair. “I hate seeing you cry.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “But it’s the last thing I’ll do for you, Edward.”

Edward pulled away from me, looking at my face. “Bella?” I knew that by just saying my name, he was asking why.

“The thing is,” I choked in his jacket, momentarily distracted by his distinct scent. “I can’t do what you ask of me anymore, Edward. You put me in a trance. I automatically do whatever you want me to, but it can’t be this way. Not anymore.”

“Then I won’t ask you to do anything, Bella. It’s really quite simple. It’s not that complicated,” he disagreed, kissing my forehead. I felt like pushing him away, but I only pulled him closer. I dried the last tears from my eyes, and now my head was clearer. Only slightly. I pulled myself together.

“You’re wrong,” I said, my voice shaky. I was trying to sound cold, but I just sounded afraid. “This is wrong. This is everything that’s not supposed to happen. You have Tanya, I have to deal with so many things, and this is the only thing that I can control.”

“Maybe you are right. I’m the complete opposite—out of control,” Edward laughed a humorless laugh. My throat dried up. That wasn’t what I meant.

“N-no, Edward…”

“Since I was young, and that fateful incident that occurred with my parents, I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt anyone. But I broke my promise,” he said in a low voice, and my heart sank. I felt too hollow to cry anymore, but my body was taking my reaction in a different way. “I hurt you both physically and emotionally. And a lot of people, too, I’m sure.”

“Don’t blame this on yourself,” I said fiercely. “If you do, I just might hate you.” I put my hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at me. As impossible as I thought it was, his eyes looked away from me.

“Hate me then.”

I looked at him for awhile, silent. His face looked strained, hurt, cautious, but his eyes were hard, trying to fight back emotion.

“I can’t hate you,” I whispered to him. “Not when I’m leaving.”

Edward froze, finally looking at me. He was temporarily distracted from his self-hatred with my words “You’re leaving?”

I sighed. “I’ve torn the whole house apart. Do you think I have a choice?”

“Yes,” Edward murmured. “No one hates you. They can’t hate you. They’re angrier at Rosalie and me, actually.”

“They shouldn’t be. With me gone, it’ll be just as it was supposed to be. A summer with the five of you.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“No,” Edward shot back. “You changed every single one of us. For the better, in fact."

“Then I can’t keep taking care of you all,” it hurt to say the words. They were complete lies. I loved every one of them all, even Rosalie, despite their choices. I could hate their choices and decisions, but I could never hate them, or who they were, not when their intentions were noble. They accepted me completely.

Edward stared at me, as if he were seeing me differently for the first time. In a bad way. I stared back into his questioning green eyes. Finally, he spoke, his voice heavy, almost husky. “Where will you stay, then?”

“That’s not important. But I’m going to do something that you’ve been telling me to do for a long time,” I whispered back. I hoped he understood what I was talking about. As he remained silent, it was confirmed.

“Don’t make me feel selfish, Bella. Don’t make me feel like you’ve done everything for me and I’ve done nothing for you,” Edward said in a low, almost angry voice. I smiled, gently putting my hands back on either side of his face. “Believe me, you’ve done more for me than you can possibly imagine,” I said softly.

Edward looked at me in doubt but said nothing, so I took it as an opportunity to continue. “There’s been some… talking done,” I said, removing my hands from his face and placing them in my lap, my entire body continuing to tremble.

“And I’ve done a lot of thinking. I think I’m ready to go back to him. I didn’t think I could forgive him for what he did, but I realized I’m more mature than I thought,” I let out a shaky laugh, shaking my head. I then focused my eyes on the light of the streetlamp on the sidewalk.

Edward sat there, as if he was unable to move, his face abruptly twisting into hurt, and then smoothly going blank.

I wondered what was going through his head. Part of my attraction for Edward was his predictable unpredictable behavior. The mystery going on inside his mind made me want to know him more, so that possibly one day, I could stop questioning everything he did, every action, every spoken thought, everything.

I would miss it.

He leaned in and pressed his lips softly once more to mine. I let him linger for a moment before he pulled away. He stared into my eyes for a moment, and whispered, “The last kiss.” My heart was breaking.

“You still have Tanya,” I reminded him, breathless. It hurt to say, but it was true.

He paused for a moment before muttering under his breath, “I don’t want her.” My eyes widened. He smiled at me, my favorite crooked smile, although it looked different, as if he were forcing it out.

“Goodbye, Bella,” he said simply, brushing my hair out of my face once last time before turning his back on me.

As if my arm were gravitating, I reached out toward him, but he had already opened the passenger door to my truck and swiftly got out. I watched, my body numb and cold, as he walked into the night. My heart felt as if it had gotten frostbite. It went from all warm and fuzzy to feeling hollow and frozen.

And at that moment I never wanted to feel again.

-

It was a short while later that Alice called.

I was still sitting my car, feeling hopelessly emotional and (not trying to be a drama queen) depressed. I wanted to get out of this place in my life so badly. But as usual, there were no exits.

Alice was in tears as she whispered, “Bella, where are you?”

“I’m not far away. Alice, what’s wrong?” I shifted in my seat, concerned as Alice’s soprano voice sounded choked.

“I know you’re not coming home, Bella,” Alice whispered, her voice smaller now. I could tell she was struggling to compose herself. My mind sparked in alarm—had Edward already told her? Surely he had.

“Oh, Alice, I’m so—” I tried to say, but was cut off abruptly.

It had always been me crying, never Alice. But now it was, and it was up to me to comfort her. But I didn’t have the chance. I could hear rummaging in the background and movement as another voice rang in my ears. Jasper’s.

“Sorry, Bella,” Jasper apologized, his quiet voice a tinged panicked. “Alice is falling to pieces right now. The situation is worse than we expected.” I paused for a moment, letting Jasper’s words sink in. A familiar knot appeared in my stomach as I asked, “Jasper, what’s going on?”

Alice’s quiet sobs in the background did not make me feel better as Jasper said, “Rosalie isn’t talking to anyone. She’s holed up in her room. We could hear her crying, but now we don’t hear a thing. Her door is locked, and we’ve all tried to coax her to come out, but nothing’s working. Emmett’s already threatened to knock down the door if she doesn’t respond. She hasn’t responded, and obviously he’s not going to do it.”

I could tell that Jasper was trying to give me the lightest story possible that was going on. I knew Alice loved Rosalie, but she would be the one comforting her through the door, not the one being comforted. “I see,” I said, trying to remain as calm as possible. “…Jasper, is there anything else?”

Jasper hesitated before replying slowly. “…When Edward came home, he seemed pretty upset, almost disturbed. He bolted straight for him room and shut the door. And…” Jasper’s voice trailed off as there was more static in the background, and then Alice’s voice, still teary but louder now could be heard. “He’s leaving, Bella.”

My heart started to thud wildly as I gripped the phone in my hand. I turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life. “What? Why? Where is he going to go?” I demanded as I drove one-handed, something that I disapproved of. I couldn’t care less at the moment.

“He’s talking about going back to Chicago,” Alice said softly. “He’s planning on talking to Carlisle and Esme about it in soon time. I can’t have this happen, Bella. I’m not about to have my best friend running away from his problems. Any of my best friends.” She emphasized the last line, and I knew she hinted toward me. I sighed in guilt. I had made Edward flee his home and Alice cry. I put my head in my hands.

“I knew something like this was going to happen,” Alice declared before I had a chance to say what was on my mind. “I could predict it from the moment we came home from the grocery store. It was evident that something like this would occur. It was as if I could see the whole scenario unfold in my mind…” Alice was temporary distracted by how predictable she felt the situation was. I took a moment to gather my thoughts.

“Alice, I’ve torn the whole house apart. This is why I have to go—I’m no longer welcomed, nor do I feel inclined to prolong my stay. I let my emotions get in the way of my proper judgment. I’ll be the one to pay the price—the only one,” I said to her, trying to feel confident, despite the fact that my stomach was sinking.

Edward couldn’t leave. He couldn’t. That unbelievable yearning for him was still there, regardless of whether I’d halted our relationship indefinitely or not.

“No, Bella,” Alice’s voice was firm now. I could hear Jasper murmuring soothing words to her. She quickly murmured something back to him before continuing into the phone. “Listen, you may think that you’ve caused irreversible damage, but it’s not like that. We need you here. If you want to do anything to help us, you’ll come back to the house right now.”

“But Alice—” I tried to protest.

“Please,” Alice whispered. “Edward is already in his room, and I can hear the drawers rummaging. He’s without a doubt already packing to leave. Maybe you can change his mind. I think you’re the only one who could change his mind at this point.”

“Call up Tanya. See what she can do,” I said dryly. Alice sighed.

“Do you want to make this easy or not? I’m ready to dispatch Emmett and Jasper to go get you,” Alice demanded. I shuddered momentarily at the thought of a threatening Emmett and Jasper. “I’ll be there,” I promised Alice, and hung up before she could say anymore.

I couldn’t really convince Edward to stay. It would be impossible; now that I had made it clear I never wanted to see him again. We couldn’t be friends with the continuing tension between us. I knew Edward probably didn’t want to hear my voice, either, much less see me.

I tried to control my breathing as I drove back to the house. I needed to pick up my clothes and belongings, anyway. I didn’t know how much use I’d be to Alice.

-

Alice was sitting on the porch steps, waiting for me. She was no longer crying, but her face was stony and her eyes distant as she watched me slam the car door and walk toward her. “I feel terrible,” I whispered as I approached her. She stood, giving me a half-hearted glance before turning and leading the way inside.

“Edward left about two minutes ago,” she murmured, her voice quiet and sad. “Emmett, Jasper, and I just about went crazy. We begged him not to leave, but he completely snapped at us. He told us it was obvious that he wasn’t leaving—he didn’t take anything with him. He said he would be back later.”

“Oh,” I said, my stomach lurching. Alice sat on the couch, her hands clasped in her lap nervously as she stared blankly out the living room window. I sat next to her, putting an arm around her. “I’m sorry for what’s happened, Alice.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“I know. There are just too many secrets in this house. The roof was bound to blow off in due time,” Alice said with a small shrug as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I just wish things didn’t have to be like this.”

“Me too.” She had no idea.

“Where’s Jasper?” It was strange to see Alice in such a state without Jasper by her side, comforting her. Alice laughed a shaky laugh. “I yelled at him. I was just so stressed. After Edward stormed off, I told him that I needed some time alone.” I remained silent, unsure if it was appropriate to comfort her or not.

“I know it was wrong for me to do, but I’m one hundred percent sure that he understands and we can talk about it later,” Alice smiled, standing up. This was one of the moments where I wished I was Alice. She was sure of her future. She was sure of how the guy she loved would act. It was the complete opposite for me.

“Don’t you want to go pack your things now?” Alice asked me, her face falling out of its beautiful smile.

“I’m not sure if it’s the appropriate time—” I hesitated. I didn’t want her to start crying again.

“I’ll be strong.”

-

It was more of me packing, and Alice sprawled across my bed on her stomach, legs in the air. I took the suitcases that I had stored under my bed back out as Alice watched wistfully.

“Wish you didn’t have to leave.”

“Me too,” I sighed as I opened my sock drawer and threw bundles of socks in a small suitcase.

“I feel like it was just yesterday that I helped you unpack,” Alice commented as she traced the patterns on my bedspread. “And then we found your engagement ring—”

“Don’t remind me.” Oh, dear. What a night to remind me about Jacob Black.

Alice laughed, and her mood seemed to have brightened. I piled a few sweaters into another suitcase. She was silent for a moment. “Edward is an idiot for letting you go.”

“Hey,” I said to her, “I’m sure your best friend wouldn’t appreciate you calling him an idiot.” My voice was meant to be teasing, but it came out sort of choked.

Alice rolled her eyes at me. “You really love him, don’t you?”

I didn’t want to respond to her question. I pretended to busy myself with re-folding a few shirts as I said, “I’m used to losing people I love. Actually, I’m quite used to it.”

Alice looked at me, unimpressed. “Oh, Bella, stop acting like a drama queen. You deserve to be happy and you know it.”

I did. But would it ever happen? It didn’t seem like it would.

Alice hopped off my bed and knelt on the floor next to me, deciding to help with the packing. But her eyes widened as she saw that velvet box again, the one that held one of the biggest (not-so-secret anymore) secrets that I’ve kept. I remember just over a month ago, when she first stared at the box in horror, amusement, and surprise.

She seized it before I could take a grab at it. I silently yelled at myself for not keeping it in a better place. She opened it, still marveling at the sparkling diamonds, and to my surprise, took it out of its snug holding.

“No matter who it’s from, it’s still gorgeous,” Alice insisted, turning the small ring over to look at it from every angle. Suddenly she grabbed my hand and quickly slid the ring on my ring finger. Surprisingly, it was difficult to free myself from Alice’s grip. Her small size was enough for anyone to underestimate her strength.

She made me hold my hand out so we could both see how the ring looked on it. It swallowed as I quickly glanced at it. I had never actually seen the ring on my finger—putting it on rendered to me as being too painful. But as I looked at it, gleaming on my hands, I realized just how lovely it really was.

There was a knock at the door. Alice and I looked up, distracted, to see an uncomfortable-looking Emmett standing at the door. “Sorry, was I interrupting a tender moment?” he joked, flashing a smile. He was back to the Emmett I knew again—joking, carefree, and not the least bit serious. I wondered just how long this would last.

“No,” Alice said, with a wave of her hand. “But look at this ring—if you’re going to tie down a girl anytime soon, Emmett, you might want to take down some notes.” She held my hand, gesturing to the ring on my finger as if she were showcasing something on an infomercial.

Emmett’s face turned stony. I silently cursed Alice for reminding him of Rosalie, who was still holed away in her room for all I knew. Alice and I quickly glanced at each other before Emmett muttered; shaking his head, “Tell that to Edward. You will never guess who he has downstairs.”

Alice immediately jumped up, her face suddenly pale. “Who, Emmett?” she demanded, her hands on her small waist. I stood up, cautious, as Emmett looked over Alice’s head to lock eyes with mine. His seem to hold deep regret and guilt; I immediately turned panicked.

“What’s going on…?” My voice trailed off as Emmett led the way downstairs with a wave of his head. My heart started hammering wildly as Alice and I flounced behind him, quickly shooting nervous looks at me along the way.

Jasper’s voice came into earshot as we descended the stairs. His voice was low and urgent. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked nervously.

“Positive.” I recognized the voice immediately.

Then the party came within view—Jasper, Edward, and Tanya. I walked stiffly by Alice’s side as Emmett went to stand beside Jasper. “Edward…” Alice’s voice had a hint of fear in it. “What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry for the way I behaved today,” Edward apologized as if he had spilt milk. “It was completely out of character for me to do so. But we have some news—good news, for the most part.”

A million scenarios whirled in my head as soon as he spoke the words. I willed for none of them to be true, but I learned the hard way that life was never, ever fair. I felt like I was going to be violently sick as my stomach twisted up in a way I’d never felt before. Alice’s forehead creased with worry as she quickly glanced at Jasper to see his guilty, almost sad face.

Emmett folded his arms, not looking the least bit amused. In fact, it looked like he would hurt someone if what he heard was something he didn’t agree to. I wondered if my face had turned green already. Suddenly the room felt like a rainforest—it was hard to breathe in the thick air.

Tanya raised an arm to swiftly push a lock of strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder. She looked nervous but a bit excited as she lowered her arm and clasped her hands together. Alice reached out of hold my hand.

Edward looked at us, his eyes lowered as he said, his voice almost false with excitement, “Tanya is moving in with us.”

And all hell broke loose.

-

Thanks for reading, everyone! Ooh, the plot has thickened even more! I don’t even know how many more chapters there will be for this story, not yet. I don’t think there will be more than five or six, however. I’m quite shameful to say that writing this has aided my procrastination… I have three projects due on Monday and I haven’t started any yet! Ah, I’ll never learn. I shall now get rid of the giant pile of tissues next to my laptop (I’ve been sick) and bid you all adieu (for now)!

By the way, thank you all for voting in my poll! The response was pretty clear on that one, and I think I’ll take it into account. Please vote in my new poll! It’s the final poll to help me mould the clay for my next Twilight fic! Thanks for all the support, everyone.

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Chapter: 16

Disclaimer: points to Stephenie Meyer She owns Twilight!

You guys never fail to impress me! Thank you for all the lovely reviews. 300, you guys! We did it! :D

EDIT: I just realized today is six months exactly since I started this story. 300 reviews in six months. Amazing! Thank your everyone!

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Sixteen: When One Door Closes...

Right now, the present, was faintly reminiscent of another event that occurred in my past—my parents’ divorce and their battle over custody of me. As soon as those words left Edward’s impossibly flawless lips, it was unexpected that Emmett, Alice, and Jasper all took my side. Instead of Edward and Tanya’s. Violence was almost inevitable as Emmett shot Edward a glare that sent shivers down my spine.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Emmett said, his voice that was typically stereotyped as a jock’s was filled with disbelief and shock. He took a step forward, his hands clenched into tight fists. Edward shook his head, watching Emmett with caution. “I’m quite serious.”

Alice, standing next to me, clutched my hand. Jasper put his hands on either side of her shoulders protectively, carefully watching her reaction. My peripheral vision showed that her forehead was creased as she frowned. I turned my head to look at her. Alice usually was extremely vocal in these kinds of situations. But her silence scared me. Jasper looked at me, and as our eyes met, I could tell he was thinking the same thing.

Emmett continued to glare at Edward, Edward’s face smooth and blank as he looked back at Emmett. Tanya shifted uncomfortably. As if he could tell that we were anticipating for him to continue, he opened his mouth, narrowing his eyes, as he shook his head back at Edward. His usual joking voice was filled with disgust and accusation.

“No. The Edward I know wouldn’t pull some shit like this,” Emmett glared, his eyes darting back and forth from Edward’s face to Tanya’s. “The problem is that you’re not the Edward we know anymore. The Edward we know has been M.I.A. since you started dating her.” Emmett pointed an accusing finger at Tanya. Tanya flinched.

“None of us want to admit it to your face, so since no one else will, I’ll pick up the slack,” Emmett continued, seemingly on a roll now. Jasper took a hesitant step from Alice toward Emmett, as if ready to restrain him in case he attacked. Alice’s lips formed a hard line, all trace of frown disappearing from her forehead.

“We hate how you’ve been acting lately. Quiet, unpredictable, secretive. We don’t want to say the reason out loud, but we have a pretty good idea why. You know how we feel about Tanya,” Emmett’s explanation was cold, steely. “You’ve been spending all your time with her. You’re not fun anymore—you don’t play video games, football, you don’t hang out with us. You spend all your time playing whiny, broody songs on the piano.” As soon as he mentioned Edward playing the piano, my eyes flashed to Emmett’s face. For some reason, I felt like lunging at him. My instincts, molded by my strong emotions, told me to defend Edward. These were instincts that I now needed to ignore. I swallowed at the realization as I remained silent.

Tanya reached for Edward’s hand, but as soon as she did, Edward’s arms folded across his chest. I hated to admit it, but I was secretly pleased. These were feelings I should have nor want to have, I reminded myself silently. I realized Edward did not speak; instead the blank, unfeeling look remained on his face. It seemed to me as if he were remaining patient, waiting for Emmett to finish. But Emmett was far from finished.

“Honestly, man, the way you’ve been acting lately, I really want to kick your ass,” Emmett said, and I felt a hysterical bit of laughter threatening to escape my lips. Everything at the moment felt surreal, but I knew they were happening. I felt like I would faint, but I knew I wouldn’t. Just like I knew that Emmett would never lay a finger on Edward.

“Wait just a second—”

Our heads turned in surprise as Tanya tried to interrupt Emmett. Alice squeezed my hand as Emmett turned his head impatiently, staring at Tanya who stared back at him, first timidly, then with more confidence. “I never say this to girls. But you’re an exception,” Emmett said. “I don’t want to hear it. Shut up.” Edward stepped forward protectively, away from Tanya, his arms still crossed. “You’re way out of line,” he said in a low voice.

“Please,” he added as an afterthought.

Edward wasn’t impressed. “Emmett. Weren’t you the one who encouraged this relationship?” he reminded him. I stared at the ground. Jasper tensed, staring at Edward. Blaming Emmett was the worst thing Edward could possibly do.

“I’m going above and beyond that. I’m having a relationship and actually keeping it,” Edward continued, his voice stronger now. “Unlike yourself. Why can’t you and everyone else accept that?” For the first time since he walked in with Tanya, Edward’s eyes met Jasper’s, Alice’s, but not mine. Never mine, I thought to myself.

“If all of you aren’t going to welcome Tanya, I guess I won’t be welcome here any longer myself,” Edward said bluntly. His green eyes seemed to flicker with regret.

And then it all seemed to happen so fast.

Emmett had lunged himself at Edward, fists clenched and raised, ready to beat the crap out of him, but Jasper caught him in the nick of time. Edward’s eyes widened, frozen with shock. His eyes met mine for a split second before I felt Alice’s hand slip from my own. She walked slowly; her usual dancer-walk, and grabbed Edward’s hand. She stared up at him, and with a small shake of her head, began to lead him away from Emmett who continued to yell, “Jackass! If you had been around more instead of with this prissy bitch we wouldn’t be total strangers to each other!” Alice and Edward continued walking, Alice leading him to the kitchen, Edward dazed.

“Sorry,” Emmett said gruffly to Tanya, suddenly embarrassed. “I didn’t mean it. I mean…” Tanya didn’t answer, instead choosing to look away.

I looked up at Jasper and Emmett. Jasper gave me a quick, sheepish smile as Emmett calmed down, still glaring at Edward’s retreating back. I gave a sideways glance to Tanya, looking confused and even guilty. I thought I saw her eyes brim with tears, but before I could analyze this even further, my name was called angrily.

“Bella.” My eyes flew from Tanya’s face to Emmett’s. His eyes locked with mine as he spoke. “What the hell did you—” Tension rose in the room as Jasper let out a hard cough and nudged Emmett sharply in the ribs. “Ow,” Emmett said, glaring at Jasper. “Never mind, then. I guess I’ll ask you later.”

There was a moment of awkward silence. Tanya stared at the floor. Jasper had let go of Emmett, sensing that he had calmed down, but Emmett folded his arms neatly across his chest, leaning against the wall. He sent hard looks between Tanya and I. I knew Emmett well. So why did I feel intimidated now, and slightly afraid?

The voices in the kitchen were low and muted, but they were there. Could Alice knock some sense into Edward, clear everything up? Explain to him things that I no longer could, now that we were mutually unattached?

As if he could read my mind, Emmett said, frustrated, “Couldn’t you talk to him? It seems like the only thing that can possibly—”

“No.” My voice was a flat line. Emmett stared at me.

“Why not?” he demanded slowly after an awkward pause. “You’re the only one who seems to actually know what’s going on with him lately. You’re closer to him than any of us have been this summer, and—”

“Stop it, Emmett,” I muttered, exasperated. My voice sounded so far away, tired and worn out, not an ounce of strength left to fight. My eyes were drawn to Tanya’s face, her eyes narrowed and suspicious as she heard every word that came out of Emmett’s mouth. I couldn’t tell Emmett or Jasper anything with her here.

“Nothing is going on with him,” Tanya said coolly, answering Emmett’s question, as if she had every right to. And she did, in some way. “We’re in a serious relationship, you know. People change. It happens. But I’m not moving in because this relationship is becoming more serious. I’m moving in because I have no place else to stay.”

“How did this come about happening?” Jasper spoke up, his voice calm and soothing. “We thought you were staying with some relatives while your apartment was being fixed up.”

“Construction can’t be given the go ahead without Kate and Irina’s consent. I haven’t been able to contact them lately,” Tanya said, her voice less hostile and gentler, as if Jasper’s own voice had a calming effect on her. “And my relatives will be going out of the country. They can’t bear the thought of me staying in a house alone.”

“We can’t bear the thought of you staying in this house,” Emmett muttered under his breath so his words were barely audible.

The sounds of footsteps became louder as Alice and Edward approached up, Edward bringing up the rear. I had to hand it to Alice. She was a wonderful actress, but to anyone who knew her well, they could see through her pained smile and bright eyes, subtly glazed over with tears.

“Welcome, Tanya,” Alice whispered, her fake smile wider now. “I hope you enjoy it here.” Was is just me, or did the way she spoke sound like, “I hope you enjoy ruining our lives.”? I mentally scolded myself for being a drama queen.

“Thank you,” Tanya said, her voice tinged with surprise and anxiety. Edward moved to stand by her side, putting and arm around her shoulder. My heart lurched and I averted my eyes quickly. Keep it together, I thought to myself. Alice squeezed my hand and looked up at me, unsmiling. “I’m sorry, Bella. Would it be terribly inappropriate for me to ask if we continue packing as soon as possible?”

Before I could say anything, before my eyes could fill with tears and feelings of replacement could wash over me, Tanya interrupted. “Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to intrude like this; take as much time as you want… I could stay in a hotel, actually.”

“No,” Edward told her firmly. “Until Bella is finished packing her belongings, you can stay in my room.” I quickly covered up the small gasp that escaped my lips as Alice exhaled loudly. “No need to. Bella and I will finish up quickly. Won’t we, Bella?”

I nodded, unsmiling. Emmett let out a cry of protest. “As soon as we let one tenant and a best friend leave, not to mention the daughter of the landlord, you find a replacement in your girlfriend…”

Jasper put an arm on Emmett’s shoulder. “Come on, Emmett…” he said, trying to coax him into keeping silent. Emmett wasn’t fazed. “You have some explaining to do,” he said firmly, pointing a finger at Alice. “A lot, actually. And you,” he continued, moving his pointed index finger to Edward. “I’m going to break your goddamn piano if…”

“Okay, okay, we all know what you do when you get mad,” Jasper said, shaking his head. “Let’s cool it, alright?” Emmett grumbled in response and followed Jasper out the room. Alice gave Edward a hard, last look and, arms folded, turned to Tanya. “I’ll have to get you a copy of the house rules and guidelines. We’ll also have to clear up with Charlie...” her sentence trailed off as she looked at me. “Never mind. I’ll just give you the rules and everything and the cleaning assignments. Come with me…”

I panicked as Alice left the room with Tanya, leaving Edward and me alone. I counted to ten in my head, thinking. I didn’t have anything to say to Edward. Tanya moving was beginning to make me see him in a different light. Of course I reminded myself that Tanya was his girlfriend. He couldn’t have both of us. I wasn’t going to stick around to see his and Tanya’s relationship sizzle and fizzle once Edward found out how Tanya really felt.

As I made the decision to walk out the room, trying my best to slow down my breathing and to avert my eyes from Edward’s, he spoke. “We need to talk.” Strangely enough, with his words, I was able to move. I was walking away until he reached forward and grabbed my wrist, sending electric current running through my body.

“Say something,” Edward whispered urgently, seeming unaware that his words melted my soul and made me lose my train of thought. “Anything.” My heart started pounding wildly and I tilted my head up to look at him.

“There’s nothing left to say,” I said softly. “I can’t pretend that nothing happened between us. I’m trying to forget about it. What can I do? What do you want me to do, Edward? I can’t forget if you won’t let me.” Edward stared at me, his face blank, as if he were trying to see into my mind.

The footsteps grew louder as Alice returned with Tanya behind her. As soon as she saw Edward’s hand on my wrist, her eyes widened. Edward and I looked at each other for split second before his hand slid down to my own for a moment. Edward dropped my hand as if he was shocked as he felt my engagement ring on my finger. My cheeks reddened as I realized I was still wearing it.

My hand fell to my side, and we looked back at Alice. She blinked back at us, saying, “Bella…”

I nodded. “Right. Let’s get back to that packing.” I looked up at Edward one last time before heading back to my room as Alice followed. As we left, I heard Tanya whisper to Edward, “Did something happen? What was that?”

“Nothing,” Edward responded, his voice flat. And that’s exactly what I wanted. What I hoped, or made myself hope, would continue—nothing.

-

Alice and I continued emptying the drawers in my room. I had to keep on eye on her—she couldn’t resist the attempts to take the clothing from my hands and throwing it in the garbage instead of the suitcase, insisting, “I can buy you all new, good quality clothing! I know the best independent designer…”

We didn’t talk about what she and Edward had talked about in the kitchen. I didn’t want to bring it up in case it was a private matter. Emmett, however, had other ideas as he stormed into my room without even bothering to knock. “Spill it, shrimp,” he grumbled as Alice and I looked up at him from where we were sitting on the bed, bewildered. “Why are you suddenly cool with this living situation? Tell me one reason why we have to just stand by and let it happen.”

“Emmett,” Alice said. “I’m lucky I even got this compromise to work out. Edward was going to leave.” She picked up a shirt of mine that lay on the bed and started to button and unbutton it. “He was my first best friend. I’ve known him for so long, and I know he’s not doing this to hurt anyone.”

“He said this to you?” Emmett asked skeptically.

“Well, no,” Alice shook her head. “But you don’t know him like I do.”

“I sure as hell don’t,” Emmett retorted. “I don’t use my time to get to know jackasses.”

“This jackass is your friend,” Alice pointed out. She sighed. “And I think he’d start becoming less of a stranger to you if we just handled this situation… with class.” Emmett grunted in response. I stared up at the ceiling. In another room, I could hear the sounds of a guitar being strummed.

“Jasper’s writing another song,” Emmett reported.

“Not about me,” Alice replied automatically. She sighed again, and ran a hand through her hair. Emmett stared at her with a questioning look on his face. “Aren’t you going to go and bug—I mean, ask him what it’s about?”

“No,” Alice replied softly. “Not this time.”

There was a silence, and as Alice was preoccupied with her fingernails, Emmett did the awkward turtle. I stifled a laugh. Alice looked up, seeming to sense the situation. “Anyway, what was I saying before? Oh, right. Edward…” she looked at me as she said his name, and then suddenly changed the subject.

“I think it’s time to tell Charlie the news,” Alice murmured.

“Okay,” I agreed reluctantly. “Everything’s almost packed up anyway.” Alice whipped took the phone on my desk out of its cradle and handed it to me. I used the number directory to call his number.

“Hello?”

I paused, taking a deep breath, trying not to freeze up. “It’s me, Bella.”

“Bella?” Charlie asked, his voice heavy with panic and some relief.

Another deep breath. Take it easy. “I’m coming home, Charlie. I mean, if that’s okay with you,” I whispered as an afterthought.

Charlie didn’t exactly seem uncomfortable, since I knew he didn’t quite know how to handle these kinds of situations. “That’s great, Bells.” I wanted to tell him everything right then, and there. Why I hadn’t come and visited in a long time, or why I suddenly felt a soft spot for his new girlfriend, a soft spot that I didn’t know would last or not. But Charlie spoke first. Instead of talking about the living arrangements, he asked when I would be leaving.

“Uh, I’m not sure. In a little while,” I stammered, suddenly afraid. I wasn’t sure if he had noticed my missing truck or not. He probably did. “I’ll get, uh, Emmett or Alice or someone to help me.” I didn’t mention anything about being dropped off.

“Sure,” Charlie agreed quickly, and I knew he didn’t want to push anything on me too quickly. “Everything’s ready for you. I’ll see you in a little while.”

I hesitated. “I love you, Dad.”

“You too, kid,” he said, embarrassed. I hung up the phone. Alice looked at me and smiled. “See, that wasn’t that hard, was it?”

“No,” I admitted. A lump was forming in my throat. I was tangled up in a large web of emotion nowadays. I wasn’t surprised.

Emmett grinned. “Your monster of a truck has nothing on my jeep.”

“I know,” I mockingly sighed. “Your jeep is something else entirely.”

-

The amount of belongings I had to bring over to Charlie’s was minimal; Emmett, Jasper, and Alice took no time at all helping me get everything downstairs. As Jasper winked at me and picked up the last of the boxes, patting my shoulder, I stared at my empty room, the one where I had called “home” for countless summers when I was younger. It was the one room Charlie didn’t change at all. I was grateful to him for that.

I folded my arms and leaned against the frame of the door, euphoria washing over me as I looked the room over, from my now empty bureau drawers, closet, etc… I didn’t hear Alice appear at my side, touching my gently on the arm. “You okay?”

I laughed shakily. “I thought I’d be the one asking you if you were okay.”

Alice stared into the distance. “I knew something like this would happen sooner or later. I shouldn’t have told her that she could stay with us, that very first day you were here, when her house was set on fire. I feel like this is my fault,” she shrugged, a helpless look on her face. I frowned. “Alice, this isn’t your fault,” I said firmly. “Don’t blame yourself, please.”

Alice smiled sadly, and then looked up at me. “Luckily, I have the perfect distraction.”

I rolled my eyes again and sighed. “Alice,” I repeated, “Charlie’s place isn’t too far away. We can visit whenever we want.”

A small, wistful smile tugged at the corners of Alice’s lips. “Actually, I don’t think we can anymore.” I stared at her. “What?” What could possibly occur now? I thought we had been through everything.

“Well, I’m probably being overdramatic,” Alice laughed a small laugh. “But I start work on Monday.”

“Alice,” I practically shouted. “That’s great! But… why so sudden? And without telling me?” I tried my best to act betrayed, but Alice saw right through me, laughing. “Well, I don’t know, what with you working and not living here and all… I didn’t know what else I’d do with my time,” she replied, running a hand through her short hair.

Surprised, I unfolded my arms. “I got a job because I thought you’d be spending all your time with Jasper,” I said, my voice mirroring my expression. Alice looked away. “To be honest with you, Bella… things aren’t looking so good.”

“What?” I whispered, afraid to ask. What did she mean? Why was the look on her face enough to make me doubt the one, real love I truly believed in?

Alice hesitated. “Bella…” She stared at me for a moment, appraising my nervous expression. “Look, I’ll be turning eighteen in November,” she shrugged, trying to shake it off. “And… well, I don’t want to be one of those spoiled rich kids who never sees her parents, yet uses all their money.” I opened my mouth in protest, but she continued.

“Well, I already am one… but before, I decided to milk it for all it was worth. I mean, obviously since I’m a minor I have to take what my parents give me…” Alice stumbled before becoming visibly frustrated. “You know what I mean! I want to be able to have some money. I don’t want to depend on them or anyone else for me to get by in life.”

I nodded slowly. It was a logical explanation—but I couldn’t imagine Alice working anywhere, for just anyone. “So where will you be working? With one of those famous fashion designers you happen to know?” I tried to sound like I was joking and failed.

She smiled sheepishly. “I’m going to be a waitress at La Bella Italia?” It sounded more like a question than a statement. My eyes widened involuntarily, but I smiled in return. “That sounds great…”

“It really doesn’t,” Alice shook her head. “Can’t I just have your job and slack off with Emmett all day?”

“Hey,” I protested. “I actually do work, thank you very much! Besides, if I gave you my job, where would I work?”

Alice lifted my hand. “You can always pawn your engagement ring.”

Together we stared at it, admiring the cluster of diamonds nesting beautifully on my ring finger. I had a sudden flashback as I saw Jacob’s face, his eyes staring into my own as if I were the greatest person he’d ever known. I saw my own face, eyes brimming with tears, a well-lit smile on my face. Why couldn’t I go back?

The real question was, did I want to? I let out a sudden gasp and Alice dropped my hand. “Sorry, Bells,” Alice whispered. “I know it’s still hard for you to look at it the same way I do.” I shook my head, smiling. I took my hand in the other and slid the ring carefully off my finger, holding it between of thumb and forefinger for a moment.

“Alice…” Edward’s voice called up the stairs as his footsteps followed. “Tanya went home to pack her things…” Alice turned, starting to go downstairs, but Edward had reached the top step before Alice could even descend. I turned around just as Edward froze at the top of the stairs, staring at me with the ring in my hand.

Silently I slipped passed him, putting the ring back on my finger as I turned my back on him and the second chance I had given up on.

-

I lingered at the door as Alice spoke to Edward in a low voice for a moment. I didn’t bother to look back as Edward swiftly exited the room, his footsteps up the stairs audible. Alice turned to me and smiled. “I’m glad I’ll be working,” she whispered to me. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stand being in this house day in and day out with the girl that’s supposed to be you.”

“Alice,” I sighed, “Don’t say things like that. It doesn’t make anything any easier.”

“I know,” Alice said with a coy smile. “But things change.”

Jasper and Emmett turned around to look at us after much poking fun at my trunk and terrible jokes made by Emmett (“That’s a lot of junk in its trunk”). “You ready?” Emmett asked me. Jokingly, his face crumpled into a frown. “I think I’m tearing up,” he said, covering his hands with his face.

Jasper laughed. “Don’t be a stranger, Bella,” he said with a smile on his face. He looked at Alice. I saw Alice nod once, then look away from Jasper. I frowned. What was going on?

“Of course,” I said in reply to Jasper’s earlier comment.

Suddenly the sounds of the beautiful grand piano in the attic flew through the house, making me involuntarily shiver. This was my song. Edward had told me once that he worked on songs for everyone in his spare time. I had never known he had finished my song, nonetheless heard it before. But I just knew it was.

The song was beautiful. The notes flew through my imagination, forming pictures in my head, sounding as familiar as the feeling I had when I rode a bike. It came back to me so easily. Sad, low notes were overpowered by happy ones. My eyes closed and only flew open when Emmett coughed awkwardly. Alice lightly touched my arm.

“Time to go,” she told me, dancing down the steps. I walked to my trunk, opening the door, before I took one last look at the house. Don’t be silly, I thought to myself. Of course you’re going to be back here again. As my eyes filled with tears, I thought the contrary. I shook my head, trying to shake myself from going on a crying jag, and it worked. I smiled painfully as I got into the cab; Emmett followed and appeared at my window.

“Keep your head up,” he smiled at me. “And don’t beat yourself up too hard. Things were bound to change.” He shrugged before grinning again. “I’ll see you at work.” He tapped the roof of the truck twice before going back to where Alice and Jasper stood.

Before I could pull away, I stared up at the house yet again, not wanting to leave. Then I caught a glimpse of her. Rosalie was staring out her window, her blond hair tousled, eyes red and swollen. One arm was wrapped around her shoulder while she peeked through the curtain with the other. Before I could nod or even raise my hand to wave, she disappeared.

As I pulled away, my song was still playing. The melody flew straight through my body and into my heart. I looked back in the rearview mirror, Emmett with one arm around Alice’s shoulder, waving with the other. Just as they were disappearing from view, Alice lowered her head, and hesitantly reached for Jasper’s hand.

I hadn’t realized the music stopped until I swore I could see another figure, another person appearing behind Alice, Jasper, and Emmett, almost as if he were running after me. He stopped short when he realized I was going, going, gone… and irreversible change.

-

“Bella…” Charlie said as he opened the door, standing on the front porch as I slammed the driver door and stared up at his never-changing figure. “Welcome… er, thank you…” Charlie stumbled over his words, and I raised a hand, shaking my head. “It’s fine.”

I looked nervously over his shoulder, and then remembered I was looking for someone I wouldn’t find here anymore. I flushed as I remembered Helena telling me that she and Charlie had taken a break. I started toward the back of the truck, removing my belongings and feeling thankful they hadn’t been wrecked but a surprise rainstorm due to come any minute now.

Charlie followed, carrying two boxes and carrying them into the house, as he spoke. “It’s great to have you back, kid.” I nodded as I followed, wheeling a suitcase and another box behind me. He led the way upstairs to a room, about the same size as the one in the old house had been. A freshly made bed, a bureau, a desk, a braided rug and a mirror made up the main components of my new room.

“I didn’t ask Helena to do any of the eccentric things she proposed,” Charlie said, almost apologetic as he saw my face, which wasn’t the least bit surprised. “I knew retro wasn’t exactly your style…” There was an awkward silence as I just nodded, setting the suitcase and box next to my bed, ready to retrieve the next and final batch. As soon as we were finished putting those into my room, I wasn’t sure if Charlie would leave me to unpack and get settled.

“Let’s go downstairs,” he motioned for me to follow him. “We need to talk.” He sounded about as nervous as I felt. I knew serious conversations like these weren’t exactly our forte. We walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the table, just two of the four chairs set around it.

As we sat down, I took a deep breath as I thought this would be the perfect time to explain to him why I’d been gone for so long, and to explain that I wasn’t exactly as angry as I was with him before about Helena.

Charlie clasped his hands tightly together on the table as he angled himself toward me on the chair. I sat on a chair next to him, feeling nervous already. I started to bounce my leg up and down, something that I had never done before. Surprised, I stopped as I pushed back a lock of hair behind my shoulder.

“So, how are Alice and everyone?” Charlie blurted out. Taken aback, I realized he wanted to ease into the serious topics by starting with something light. I smiled nervously. “They’re fine. Alice recently got a job.” Charlie tilted his head curiously. “Alice, eh? The belle of Forks? Well, good for her. I always knew she was a strong girl.”

I frowned in confusion, and took a deep breath. I might as well cut to the chase, making it less painful for the both of us. “Look, Charlie… there’s a reason why I haven’t seen you in so long… and I’m so sorry…” My eyes filled up with tears as I stuttered and stumbled over my words. I wiped away a few tears before they could fall, taking another deep breath before Charlie interrupted me.

“Bella, if this is to apologize about the… distance… between us, there is no need,” Charlie said, his usual gruff voice surprisingly gentle. “I received a call about two and a half weeks ago, explaining everything. Now, the only person left to apologize is me. I’m sorry about Helena, I know I should’ve told you, and I know it came out as a bit of a shock, but—”

I froze, my heads swarming with a million possibilities. “Wait, Dad,” I interrupted, frowning. Had Alice or Emmett or even… Edward called Charlie and told him about Jacob and everything that had happened? “Who called you…? And what did they say?” I swallowed, prepared for Charlie to start yelling at me for the mistakes I had made. It was probably Alice who told him.

“Jacob Black, Bella. Your boyfriend.”

-

Ahaha, that's right, I enjoy tormenting you guys! I'm eeeeevil :)

Okay, to start the apologies, I hope you guys aren’t too disappointed if the ‘all hell broke loose’ did not live up to your expectations. But I didn’t want things to get too boiled over, or else they wouldn’t be close friends! Anyway, thank you for the 300 reviews! I’m still convinced this is a dream! –Hands out chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream-

By the way, I have a new poll up! It’s about a sequel to Learning to Fall! I’d just like to get your honest opinion to see if you guys would like a sequel. I’m not promising that I’ll write one, but it will influence my decision whether to write one or not. As always, thanks for the support!

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Chapter: 17

Disclaimer: This one here does not have any rights to the best-selling “Twilight Series” by Stephenie Meyer. I do not own it. Do not sue me.

Ear Candy:

How Does It Feel – Avril Lavigne

Halloween – Meg & Dia

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Seventeen: ...Another Door Opens

“Maybe you should take a break. You don’t look too well.”

I looked up from the marble counter I was staring at into Emmett’s concerned face. I had both hands on the counter, slightly bending over. I had to admit I didn’t feel so hot. I nodded weakly as Emmett wiped his wet hands with a dishtowel.

Jessica Stanley stared at me as I made my way to the backroom, a slight sneer on her lips as she was snapped back to her cashier duties by an elderly woman in a feathered hat. Ignoring this, I slammed the door loudly behind me.

It was two weeks since I had moved into Charlie’s home. Two weeks since Tanya Kent took my place in my father’s boarding house, claiming her rightful position as serious girlfriend of Edward Cullen, the first boy I had frighteningly fallen head over heels for since my demise with my ex-boyfriend. Two weeks since I had found out that Jacob Black had called my father, explaining that he was a distraction to me, that we had decided to take a ‘cooling off period’ in order for me to ‘see the light’ and go back to visit Charlie.

Needless to say I hadn’t been doing well. It had been two weeks since all this had occurred, but only two hours since I had cried last. The pressure and anxiety was getting to me. It didn’t help that Charlie had no answers as to where Jacob was, nonetheless where he had called from.

He could be on his way here right now. He could even be here, in the small town of Forks, Washington, the very town I had thought at the beginning was the perfect place to get away from my problems. Now it seemed at the problems occurred in this cloudy and rainy area.

Perhaps it would help somewhat if I had told Charlie that Jacob was now, in fact, my ex-boyfriend. But then I’d have to confess to Charlie everything that had happened. And I had more than enough on my plate without Charlie having to worry and complain and grumble about the choices I had made or how he could’ve prevented them. So I chose to remain silent as Charlie told me the few details of Jacob’s call.

I sank onto the floor, covering my face with my hands as I indented myself into a sack of quality Brazilian coffee beans. I didn’t care. What did a few coffee beans compare to the whole sack of problems I had to carry over my back? Don’t wallow, Bella, I willed myself as a few tears escaped from my eyes. I tucked loose strands of hair that escaped the hair piled high on top of my head in my Starbucks visor. I stood up, brushing off my apron. I was ready to pull myself together. After all, I was here to work. Not cry and worry about my problems. I always thought that work could be an escape, somewhere I could take my mind off things. Lately, it had become somewhat of a burden.

I pushed myself out the door, dodged a suspicious look for Jessica and began making the next order. Barely thinking, I moved robotically from one order to the next, all the while feeling Jessica and Emmett’s eyes follow my every move.

“You okay?” Emmett asked me cautiously. I nodded grimly and didn’t stop working, even when the crowd of customers had thinned some. Finally, as Jessica rung up her last customer in the disappearing crowd, she turned to look at me. “What’s going on?” she asked suspiciously, her small eyes darting back and forth between Emmett and I. Emmett patted her on the back. “You don’t get to know until you’ve been working here for a month. It’s an experienced employee thing,” he said casually as threw a dishtowel back and forth between his hands. Jessica giggled and looked away, straightening herself up so she could give Emmett and unimpressed look. Emmett ignored her.

My eyes followed his to the door. Rosalie had come in, and after looking at Emmett and I for a moment, began her casual stride in her high-heeled boots toward the counter. I tried to distract myself by saying anything to Emmett, who looked as desperate for a distraction as I was. Even after two weeks of strategically ignoring her, it didn’t come naturally.

“So,” I muttered to Emmett, “How’s the new living arrangement?” Emmett shrugged as he kept his eyes on the counter. I busied myself with fixing the napkins and condiments on the small round table next to the counter.

I had been avoiding asking this question as long as I could. But it was the only thing on my mind now, and I couldn’t take it back. “It’s okay,” Emmett said. “I still have the feeling that Edward is trying to use Tanya as your replacement. I’m not mad at Edward anymore.” I frowned, confused.

“You’ve forgiven him,” I murmured, keeping my eyes lowered as I heard Rosalie’s heels clink on the floor, and then the sliding of a chair as she went to sit down at her usual table. Emmett shrugged. “I don’t forgive him for what he’s done,” he said. “But he’s slowly returning back to his old self. Besides, we’re practically brothers. I feel obligated to forgive him.”

“See, me moving out was a good thing,” I pointed out as Jessica left the counter to attend to cleaning a spill at a table. I was relieved the gossip girl was out of earshot. “It’s good for the both of us… to forget things.”

“Forgetting isn’t that simple.” I looked up at Emmett, whose eyes were looking in Rosalie’s direction. Oh. Emmett and I were in the same boat. I didn’t have time to mention it, though. The conversation had clearly ended when Emmett walked to the cash, taking over Jessica’s place. That was when I realized I should’ve been working, too. I took a washcloth and headed over to a small ring of tables, all of which were messy and unbelievably littered with napkins. I bit my lip in frustration as I grabbed a bag to throw them in.

As I moved a chair to sweep underneath a table, I heard a soft strumming of a guitar behind me. I slowly turned around and saw Jasper, pencil in one ear and guitar in both hands. A notepad was in front of him, and he stared down at it, looking almost as frustrated as I felt. “Jasper?”

Jasper looked up, saw me, and smiled. “Hey, Bella. Working hard?”

I nodded toward him. “Writing another song?” He nodded in return, staring down at his notepad again, which I noticed was blank. “Clearly I’m having some trouble,” he admitted, gesturing in front of him.

“Why aren’t you sitting with Rosalie?” I asked cautiously as I gathered a few more napkins and stuffed them into my trash bag. Jasper shrugged. “Rose knows that I like being alone when I’m composing something. The complete opposite of Edward,” Jasper nervously laughed.

“Oh,” I flushed, turning away. “I guess I’ll just leave then, I’m sorry to interrupt you.” Jasper reached out to stop me. “No, it’s fine. It’s nice to have company once in awhile.” I nodded and pointed to my trash bag. “I’ll just get rid of these. My shift is almost finished anyway.” As I walked back to the counter, I could see Rosalie sitting with her legs crossed, holding her coffee cup and staring at us with a twinge of curiosity.

Oh, the stories she would tell Alice. Or not tell Alice. From what I had heard, Rosalie had barely been talking to anyone, working extra hours and not being home until late, and then leaving early in the morning. It was obvious that she felt embarrassed for her actions, but ignoring everyone in the house did not help matters.

I passed Emmett, who was talking to a tall redhead at the cash. The redhead looked every bit interested in him—her body language and tone of voice made it clear of her intentions. But Emmett looked nervous and wanting to get away more than anything. I kept my eyes averted from his, knowing it would make me feel bad.

I glanced at the clock once more as I rid myself of the garbage. It was fast approaching sunset now, and Starbucks did not have the usual hustle and bustle it did in the daytime. “Hey, Emmett?” I called out to him. Looking relieved, he turned to me, the redhead’s order already filled. “What?”

“Do you mind if I get off now?” I asked him, already removing my green apron and hat. Emmett nodded, looking around the shop for Jessica. Sure enough, Emmett wasn’t the only one busy with a member of the opposite sex. I raised my eyebrows as Emmett said, “Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?”

The redhead took this as her cue to leave. “I’ll see you around,” she said, with a wink and a small wave. I laughed as soon as she was out of earshot. “You looked like you needed saving,” I said to him.

Emmett grinned. “Thanks. By the way, where are you off to in such a hurry? Got a hot date or something?” I rolled my eyes and sighed mockingly as I pulled my backpack on. “No. I’m just going to hang out with Jasper for a bit.” I gestured toward the windows, noting that Rosalie, along with half of the remainder of the Starbucks customers had disappeared.

Emmett shrugged. “Okay.” Lowering his voice, he continued. “Please, please, please, tell me that I’m not the only one who thinks that something is wrong between them.” I didn’t have to ask to know who them was.

“I don’t like to ask. It’s really none of my business,” I replied. “Alice would probably have told us as soon as possible if anything really serious happened. And it’s not like any tears have shed, so maybe they’re getting things sorted out just fine by themselves… not that I know whether or not there’s anything to be sorted out,” I added hastily. Emmett nodded. “Good point.”

I waved goodbye to him and Jessica, Jessica looking ecstatic as she realized it would be her and Emmett alone, closing up, while Emmett looked exasperated. Jasper stood up, guitar already slung behind his back, notebook in messenger bag.

“You know,” he remarked, “I haven’t actually had the time to really talk to you in all the time you’ve stayed at our house.” He adjusted the strap of his guitar case as we slipped out Starbucks and onto the boardwalk of Port Angeles. The boardwalk was brightly lit by the lamps spaced evenly apart, illuminating the dark perfectly.

“I know,” I agreed, stuffing my hands into the large pockets of my sweatpants. “Honestly, things have been… busy.” Jasper nodded grimly. “Not to mention all the studying I’ve been doing.”

“Oh. That’s right—you’re going to Dartmouth,” I replied, taking a glance at him. He was staring off into the distance, hands stuffed in his own pockets. “Yeah,” Jasper said. “Although at the moment, I’m starting to have some doubts.”

I paused. “What’s there to doubt? It’s a great school. From what Alice has told me, you’re exceptionally intelligent.” He didn’t answer, leading me to believe he hadn’t heard my question. Just as I was about to ask it again, he started.

“Alice.”

“What about her?”

“I’m having doubts about Alice.”

This was my chance to ask him about their relationship, my in on him elaborating. I frowned as I tried to absorb his words. He glanced at me quickly before clarifying his words. “I mean, I’m having doubts about leaving Alice.”

I sighed. “I don’t think you need to worry about her. She’s quite capable on her own, plus I’m sure her parents are willing to dish out more than enough for her to get by on her own.” I stared at him as he didn’t answer yet again, and then continued. “Well, I can understand the distance issue, but really…”

“No,” he interrupted. “That’s not it.”

I stared at him. “Then what is it?”

“I know we haven’t been presenting ourselves as a couple lately. But things have… changed,” he said, continuing to walk as we passed a few clothing boutiques. “I still love Alice more than ever, though.”

“I’m worried about her. Look, I know she’s told you the sordid details, but I’ll tell you a few of my own. Alice has been taking care of everyone around Forks. She’s been taking care of me, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and I you have to admit, even you.”

I waited, listening attentively.

“I think it’s time she slowed down on taking charge. It’s not good for her,” Jasper continued on protectively. “And now, with this new job… I know Alice is independent. I love that about her,” he added. “She’s been working odd hours. She comes home late often, and then she sleeps in until noon, by which time she leaves for work. I can’t blame her. She’s driven. She wants to earn money for herself and work toward her own goals. I was the same way before I got into Dartmouth. I like to think that I still am,” he laughed.

“But… I feel like she’s not telling me everything.”

“I never knew you felt this way, Jasper,” I told him quietly. “Have you told her all this?”

“Some of it, yes,” Jasper replied. “But she’s stubborn. How do you expect her to respond?”

“But she loves you more than anything,” I protested.

“More than enough to ignore my mother?” Jasper asked. I paused, taken aback. I didn’t know the situation still involved the problems with his mother. I shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Really, I haven’t talked to Alice in… some time.” I frowned. Now that I thought about it, Alice had been working odd hours lately. She hadn’t been calling me that much either.

I sucked in some air. “I’d… just like to tell you my side of the story before she tells you hers,” Jasper explained, his voice grim. “Listen… it seems to me that she’s had some sort of delayed reaction to what my mother has told her. Do you remember when my mother said that she would be distracting to my studies?”

I nodded.

“Well, after much protest, all of a sudden Alice thinks that way too.”

I didn’t tell him that she had doubts before the two had even gotten together. I knew it had been on Alice’s mind, but I didn’t think she’d actually act upon it. I bit my lip.

“We’ve gotten into a couple of arguments on the matter,” Jasper added in a low voice as he ran a hand through his blond hair. “Mostly about the future. She says she can’t stand to be away from me… but she doesn’t want to be near me as well. She’s convinced that she’s ruin my academic future. After time and time that I’ve told her I can handle everything, she still fails to listen.”

“I never knew Alice was so… doubtful,” I finally managed. Jasper headed over to a row of benches, and I assumed he preferred to go more in-depth by the serious look on his face. He nodded grimly. We sat down, and Jasper stared blankly at the moon. I looked down at my scuffed worn-out Chuck Taylors. Suddenly I felt like I had no clue who Alice was anymore.

As if, on cue, when neither of us had anything to say, Jasper’s phone rang. He picked up with a “Hey”. I stared down at my hands in my lap.

“So you’re coming, then?” Jasper asked whoever he was on the phone with.

After a few moments, he replied with an, “oh, okay,” and a quick glance at me. I looked back at him, curious. He pressed “END” and then called a new number, which I recognized was Alice’s. “I want to see if she got off work yet,” Jasper explained to me. A blank look crossed his face and he abruptly shut his phone. “She turned it off. Maybe she’s at home.” He stood up, brushed off his pants, and started walking. I quickly followed after him.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To dinner,” he replied. “Just with a friend of mine. God, Alice has been asking me to help her do this for some time now.”

“Oh,” I said blankly. Then I turned to look at him, a look of pure confusion and suspicion on her face. “What do you mean, ‘help her do this’?”

“Well…”

“Jasper, who exactly are we seeing?” I asked him as we headed toward the plaza of brightly-lit restaurants.

“I don’t want to tell you, in case Alice is there. I want it to be a surprise for both of you,” Jasper replied as he indicated which restaurant to go into. Surprisingly, it was La Bella Italia. “Alice will probably be there,” I told him as he opened the door. “Now spill, Jasper. This isn’t funny. I hate surprises,” I added. “Who are we seeing?”

A sinking feeling in my stomach told me it was Mike Newton.

As we headed in, Jasper looked around the room. I tried to follow the direction of his eyes as he said, “Good. He’s here already.” My heart started hammering. So we were meeting a male.

“Can I help you?” asked the hostess with the nametag “Cassandra” on and a wide grin on her face.

“Um, apparently we…”

“We’ve already found our party,” Jasper smiled politely at her as he cut in. “He’s over there.” Jasper pointed to the back of the restaurant. I followed his hand at the same time as the hostess and couldn’t believe who I saw.

It was Edward.

What was this, some kind of joke? The hostess’s eyes bugged. In a breathless voice, she replied, “Oh yes, he came in about… a few minutes ago… if you’ll excuse me…” she left, no doubt to hyperventilate.

My own breathing was uneven and my heart started beating a million times faster—it was strange, this familiar feeling once again invading me. It felt even stranger that it had been away for so long.

Jasper and I made our way to the table, where Edward was staring uninterestedly at the menu. He looked up as Jasper cleared his throat. “Hey,” he said standing up, for once looking helpless as Jasper, always the gentleman, pulled out a chair for me before sitting down himself.

Despite my face turning red, shivers running down my spine, and head unbearably foggy, I managed to say something coherent. “It’s nice to see you again, Edward,” I whispered as I stared down at the table.

“I apologize if this was unexpected,” he told me as I continued to stare down at the table. I could feel both Jasper’s and Edward’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look up.

I know, I told myself silently. I hate surprises.

“I know you hate surprises,” Edward continued as if he could read my mind. I hated when he did that.

I lied. I found it intriguing, but it was especially inappropriate to think that way now. I nodded meekly as the waitress came over, setting down a pair of menus in front of Jasper and I. Jasper said next to me at the square table, while Edward sat straight across from me.

Just as I gave in, deciding that staring at the table all night would hurt my neck, plus make me look like a complete idiot, I looked up and found Edward’s eyes staring straight into mine. “Please don’t feel uncomfortable,” he requested softly as the waitress stared at Edward, her mouth forming a perfect O, before clamping it shut and walking away, looking over her shoulder all the while.

“I’m not,” I mumbled. “This is just… different. That’s all.”

Jasper cleared his throat in an attempt to ease the awkward silence that followed. He quickly picked up a menu and scanned it. “I’ve never been here before, so I haven’t tried anything… what’s good?” he asked Edward. Edward didn’t reply, and Jasper didn’t seem to mind. Edward seemed to be perfectly content with staring at me all night. I seemed perfectly content with looking away. Now this was making me feel uncomfortable. Never mind my brain whirling and heart beating so fast I thought it would explode out of my chest.

I tried to focus on my surroundings. The restaurant was crowded and busy today. The families seemed to have come and gone—it was already getting late. All who were left seemed to be locals, judging by the casual conversation they kept with the waitresses. There were a few couples and some rowdy teenage crowds, and a group of what looked like college boys, ordering rounds of drinks and being inappropriately loud. I frowned. I didn’t know La Bella Italia had become this sort of place.

“You ready to order?” Jasper asked me, setting down his menu. I flushed. “Sorry,” I said as I picked up a menu.

“No rush,” Edward said, flashing his teeth at me. My face willed to pull into a frown but stayed its usual flushed and panicked. “Actually, I was wondering if I could speak to Jasper alone for a minute.”

“Oh,” I said, confused. “Alright, I’ll go, I have to use—”

“No, no,” Edward assured me as he got up, Jasper doing the same. They headed over to the empty area by the bathrooms. I sighed. What kind of idea was this? What was Jasper (and Alice) thinking? They knew how awkward this would be. And why would Edward play along?

Gathering up the questions I needed to ask, I finally stared down at the menu. There. Mushroom Ravioli. I’d have that. Simple enough. I wondered if I should wait for them to come back to order, but decided it didn’t matter. The sooner I ordered, the sooner I would be out of there.

I looked around for the waitress who had given the menus. I spotted her at a table with a family of three—the toddler had spilled her spaghetti and was crying. A pained look flashed across the waitress’s face as she bent to clean it up with some paper towels. I looked around helplessly to see if there was anyone else around, and as I held my hand in the air, ‘Cassandra’ was there in a flash.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “We’re a little busy right now, and short on waitresses. We could hire a few more. I hope you don’t mind me asking… but are you interested?” I quickly shook my head. As I did so, I noticed a redhead with glasses to my right holding a tray laden with dirty cups, looking as if they were about to spill. As she passed the group of rowdy frat boys, one of them called out to her.

“Hey, sexy! Mind if I give you a tip?”

My eyes widened and Cassandra, who had also heard, shook her head. “They don’t come often enough to be regulars, but they live around here. They like to make the new ones feel uncomfortable… we tell the waitresses not to think anything of it. Not a lot of them stick around, though… but that Mary sure is a tough one,” Cassandra laughed as she took my order that I had pointed to while she spoke. Then, like the rest of the staff, she took off.

My eyes followed Mary once more as she came out of the kitchen, holding a tray with food on it. Her red hair was tucked into a bun, and she pushed her glasses up her nose, looking stressed and anxious. As she passed the table with the rowdy boys, they once again called after her and even threw in more names in whistles. Surprisingly, she ignored them easily, never once stopping her walk that resembled a dancer’s.

Wait. Mary.

Mary.

Mary Alice?

I squinted at her as she made her way across the room, not once passing me, setting down the plates for an elderly couple. She smiled easily at them, her thin figure poised as she asked them if they would like anything else.

Alice?

Alice.

With that wig, she wasn’t fooling anybody. I covered my mouth with my hand. Why, Alice? Why? Why do you have to be so determined and stubborn and outgoing and confident and strong? Even I knew the reasons why she was doing this.

Just as I was about to lower my hand, Alice began her confident stride in my direction. Crap.

I was about to pick up my menu and cover it with my face, but it was too late. Alice had already spotted me, and her eyes widened as well. “Oh no,” I could see her mouth as she froze on her spot. My face pulled into a worried expression.

Jasper and Edward returned, and sat down, looking at me as I lowered my hand in embarrassment. I could see Alice, still frozen to her spot, waving her arms, mouthing, “No, no”. I nodded once, confirming that I would be silent.

It was easy to see that I was nervous. Even as Alice strode confidently toward me, taking a left after our table, my eyes followed her to the kitchen. I mentally scolded myself for being so obvious. “Bella?” Edward asked cautiously as both he and Jasper looked after the waitress themselves.

“Who’s that? Your friend?” Jasper asked, and I knew he was trying to make polite conversation. I nodded. I wouldn’t be lying if I didn’t say anything in response to his first question.

“Bella, have you ordered already?” Edward asked me. Oh, God. This was going to be difficult. I was melting already. How could I have possibly gone two weeks without his silky smooth, velvet voice, that irreplaceable crooked grin, his hair… his eyes…

Stop it.

“Yes,” I choked out as I shook out my napkin and put it in my lap.

“I know you’re wondering why I’ve actually agreed to do this,” Edward began, one elbow on the table, thumb below his lip and index finger above. My heart fluttered, floating toward the ceiling, toward him… only he could make me make up silly phrases like this.

“Well, I’ve done some thinking, and I’ve realized that it’s not in our best interests to leave things the way we did,” he continued, his eyes flickering between the table to me. He looked as nervous as I felt, his unusual calm, cool and collected exterior no where to be seen. Jasper looked back and forth at us, a slight smile on his lips.

The waitress came just then and set down our orders. As I stabbed a ravioli with my fork, Edward moved on. I didn’t know if he expected me to answer or not. “I realized that I’ve gone too far now to lose you.”

I choked on my ravioli. My face burned even as I chugged down half my glass of water. “What?” I nearly spat out. Edward laughed. My face was on fire. “You’re too good a friend to lose,” he said, his voice easy and smooth.

“I didn’t know I was that good a friend,” I admitted as Jasper raised his eyebrows at me, amused. Edward raised his own as well. “Well, if long talks about music and your baffling obsession with Jane Austen don’t scream friendship, I don’t know what does.”

He was teasing. I hated that. “I am not obsessed, thank you very much,” I mumbled. Now I was denying it. I couldn’t help it. The worst part was, he was smiling as if I were the most fascinating person ever. Was I trying to be cute? No.

I suddenly felt out of place in my old clothes, not something that Alice would deem appropriate for going out with two guys. My hair was a mess. My palms were slick with sweat, and I rubbed them nervously on my pants.

“Okay, you’re not obsessed,” Edward said, a smirk flashing across his face. “But seriously, Bella. I’m willing to put our past behind us and start over. As friends again… nothing more…” Was he having a hard time saying “nothing more” or was that just wishful thinking on my part?

I looked up at him from my plate, and he had that searching look on again. Staring into my eyes, it was as if he was trying to get answers to questions. I wasn’t sure I was ready to respond. I didn’t have to, because at that moment, something happened.

Alice walked by the table of rowdy boys again. This time, instead of giving her the usual whistles and hooting and hollering, one reached out to slap her ass. Alice’s eyes widened behind her glasses, and she tripped over the leg of a chair, something out of her character. Doing this, it was obvious to anyone that she was anyone but Alice. But Jasper, being the gentleman he was, jumped out of his seat and went to help her.

Edward glared at the boys, finally releasing me from his stare. “Unbelievable…”

“Here, let me help you,” Jasper said as he reached Alice’s side and picked up her empty tray. A few strands of Alice’s bun escaped from the elastic, but remarkably, her wig stayed on. “Thank you,” she said politely, being as quiet as possible.

Jasper stared at her for a long time, but Alice kept her eyes glued to the floor as they both knelt on the ground. Jasper wasn’t stupid. Alice looked up at him, giving in. “Alice?” Jasper said, stunned.

“Alice?” Edward echoed, expression equally stunned but not as unsure. He knew his best friend inside and out.

Alice stood up, and without looking back, hurried toward the door of the kitchen and disappeared inside, just as one of the college boys said, “Hey, baby! I thought you wanted your tip?”

The laughing expression was nowhere to be seen on his face as Jasper punched him.

-

Outside the restaurant, on the boardwalk, Jasper held an ice pack to his hand as he sat on one side of me, Edward on the other. Our legs dangled over the edge. “This was one fight you shouldn’t have picked,” Edward told Jasper as Jasper clutched the ice tighter to his hand, muttering some very colourful language under his breath.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jasper dismissed him as he shook his head.

“Alice should be here any moment now,” I said. “I talked to Cassandra; she said Alice was getting off her shift anyway.”

“I feel terrible. I think I just cost Alice her job. But if I had my way, I would’ve carried her out of that restaurant against her will,” Jasper said uneasily as he stared up at the cloudy night sky. “Not that I care if she lost her job. That job is toxic—they won’t even ban a few guys for misconduct? Yet they’d ban me for punching a guy? In my opinion, she’s better off without it.”

“Don’t say that,” I warned him. “She’s in bad enough shape already.”

“I just can’t believe she’d hide something like this from us…” Edward started, his face stony. “Well, we all knew she was working at La Bella Italia. But under a different name? As a different person? All so that she could serve drinks legally and work longer hours?”

I shrugged, drawing a circle in the air with my foot. “I can’t blame her for wanting to make money. I mean, with the way her parents have treated her, I’d want to be independent, too.”

A door slammed some feet behind us, and we all turned our heads to see Alice, wearing jeans, her kitten-heel boots and a black cardigan over a purple tank top coming toward us. “Here she comes,” Edward muttered under her breath.

Alice stopped at our backs, staring at each one of us before sitting next to Jasper. “Well, I’m not fired,” she sighed as she hugged her knees to her chest. “But I’m not impressed with what you did, Jasper Whitlock.”

“I’m sorry, Alice,” Jasper apologized. “But what did you think I was going to do? Just stand around while they degrade you like that?”

“It was working before you recognized me,” Alice shot back. “I can take care of myself, you know.”

“Stop it,” Jasper said, exasperated. “Please tell me why you’re acting like this. It’s unusual. We’re all worried.”

“It’s because I love you, you idiot,” Alice scolded him, making the corny line sound anything but. “I’m thinking about the future. I’m not just going to stand by, ruining your life. I want to do something too. Then when we graduate, or when you graduate, or when the time comes, we can be together. No exceptions.”

“It’s already that way, Alice,” Jasper protested. “We can make this happen now. We don’t have to wait.”

Alice was silent. “Sorry, you two,” she apologized, looking over at me and Edward. “I don’t want you witnessing a lovers’ quarrel.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Edward laughed. “I’m glad to see you two talking again.”

“Likewise,” Alice said, raising an eyebrow at us. “What made you two start talking again?”

“Well, we’re not really—” I tried to say, but Edward interrupted me. “Actually, it’s more of a who. Jasper did,” he told her proudly. Alice looked at Jasper, her eyes suddenly bright. “You did?” she said in a tearful voice.

Jasper nodded. “I think we better get out of here… just the two of us. We haven’t had time alone in years,” he told her, a grin spreading across Alice’s delicate face. “Okay,” she agreed, standing up, holding Jasper’s arm. They exchanged a private look.

“Uh, uh…” I stuttered, realizing that I would be left with Edward.

“Want to hang out for awhile here?” Edward asked me. “I can drive you back. I have the Volvo.”

“See you guys later,” Alice chimed in, her face lit up again as if the night’s events hadn’t occurred. With one arm entwined with Jasper’s they walked away, Alice’s chattering voice still audible even from feet away.

“Listen, if you feel uncomfortable, we can go home if you want,” Edward began as Jasper and Alice were far away now, practically disappearing out of sight. “I’m sure we’ll be able to catch Alice and Jasper, they won’t mind if you ride with them…”

I sighed and shook my head. “It’s fine, Edward.”

“I just want things to go back to the way before. To tell you the truth, it’s been… hard… accepting everything that’s happened,” Edward admitted, staring down at our shoes—mine Chuck Taylors, and Edward’s black Adidas. “But I have to, in order to be your friend. You’re… extraordinary, Bella.”

I snorted. “I haven’t heard that before. Who are you kidding?”

“Why do you do that? Why do you have to think of yourself in such a negative way?” Edward asked, and even though his voice was soft, it was streaked with indubitable frustration.

“With… everything that’s happened, it’s hard to think of myself as a good person,” I admitted. “Although I do try.” Edward’s eyes looked at me with sadness. “And it works,” he told me.

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks. So how’ve things been…?”

“With?”

“Everything…” I waited for him to start talking about Tanya, but surprisingly he didn’t.

“Well, you might get the chance to meet my parents,” he said, his crooked grin spreading across his face. “They told me they’re flying in next week, to discuss my options.”

“For?”

“College, of course,” Edward said, surprised I had asked. “I don’t think that I’ve told you where I’m going next year.” I shook my head. “Which is…?”

“Nowhere,” Edward told me, his face solemn. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I want to do.” I looked back at him, surprised. Edward seemed to be under control all the time, so determined and self-assured. “Carlisle said that if I still want to go to college, he can pull a few strings and have me in for next year.”

“Where would you want to go?”

Edward laughed. “My father can’t work miracles. Alice’s parents can, though. I’m thinking she’ll want to go to FIDM next year, so that’s one thing she’ll use them for. But the rest will be up to her…” I raised my eyebrows at him, noting that he had changed the subject.

“What was I saying before? Oh, right. By any luck, Carlisle will be able to get me into Washington State with Emmett next year.”

“That’s great,” I smiled. “Speaking of Emmett, if he’s over Rosalie, Jessica Stanley sure shows an interest in him… it wouldn’t be a bad setup, would it?” Edward made a face. “Are you serious? Jessica Stanley? She asked me out last year. She has no redeeming qualities. Needless to say, I turned her down.”

I laughed. “Oh, Edward Cullen. You’re such a heartbreaker.”

“I could say the same about you, Bella Swan.”

-

Oh dear. This was a lengthy chapter, wasn’t it? I just couldn’t bear to cut it in two, though. I hope you guys are enjoying this! I’m so sad this story is coming to an end soon, it’s my pride and joy, my baby! Thank you thank you thank you all for the reviews! Seriously, they get me through some rough times. And the past few weeks have been a little bruising on me. I love you all, take care! xoxo

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Chapter: 18

Disclaimer: You’ve gone too far to not know what I don’t own ^^

Some of you have noticed that the last chapter was a little mellow and less dramatic than the past ones. I needed a breather, and I needed to add a bit of filler to balance the story out. I couldn’t just keep adding more and more twists until the story became absolutely ridiculous! Thanks for the lovely reviews, though. AND the constructive criticism. It’s very much appreciated :)

Ear Candy: Ghosts That Broke My Heart – Laura Marling

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Eighteen: Just One Of Those Things

“Bella, I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Mom,” I said into the phone, which was pressed in between one ear and my shoulder. “How’s everything? Where’s Phil?”

“He’s around here somewhere,” Renee sighed, her voice absent-minded and sounding about a million miles away. “Everything’s been quite busy lately.” I shifted in my seat, switching the phone to my other ear. “Same here.”

Charlie winked at me as he passed by, laying his fishing gear out for the day. As he examined one of his hooks, he said to me, “Tell your mom I say hi.”

“Charlie says hi,” I told her, and Renee heaved another sigh. “My hellos back to him.” I was growing more concerned now. My mother sounded worse and worse each call I gave her, until I felt as if she felt worse than I did.

“I wish you were here for the summer. It’s not the same—I’ve been working on my tan, and you haven’t been here to appreciate it.” I rolled my eyes as Charlie gave me a confused look and then quickly turned back to one of his broken fishing rods. “You know I would never appreciate it, Mom. I’ve never been able to tan as well as you,” I joked.

“Well, still, it’s not the same at all.” She was lonely. I mentally cursed Phil for his hectic schedule, and the fact that it didn’t sound like he actually took initiative into spending more time with Renee. “Look, Bella, sweetie, the reason I’ve called is that something happened that I think you should know.”

Oh, no. She was probably announcing her separation from Phil. Or something like that. But then, why he still be around the house?

“Jacob Black called,” Renee confessed, to my disbelief. “Twice, actually.”

“W-what?” I murmured into the phone, turning around in my seat so Charlie couldn’t read the shock etched onto my face. “This… it can’t be…”

“I’m afraid so, sweetie. I didn’t want to call you, I didn’t want to worry you with all these problems, but I think you should be told. I’d like to think that you’re ready,” her voice was full of concern and caution, two things that I needed right now.

“No, no, I am… its fine,” I lied in a weak voice. First Charlie, and now Renee. He was definitely going to run me into a corner now. Who was next? Alice?

“He called earlier in the summer, to tell you the truth,” Renee said in a soft voice, almost afraid. This was something I had become accustomed to after my short bout of teenage rebellion with Jacob. Renee was always afraid that I’d take things the wrong way, that I’d suddenly start kicking and screaming, my reactions to anything unpredictable.

“Oh,” I murmured weakly.

“He asked for you. I told him that you had decided to spend the summer with your dad,” Renee reported. “I don’t know what he’s going to do… I doubt he’ll do anything, anyway. I ought to have reported him.”

For what, Mom? I asked inside my head. For abandoning me? For taking my virginity? My soul, my heart?

And then my stomach sank. My heart started beating wildly and my mind racing a million miles per hour. I had told him everything about myself, the less embarrassing details anyway, when we were going out. I knew that I had told him where Charlie lived. Forks wasn’t a small town at all.

I knew Jacob. I knew that he put his mind to getting whatever he wanted. If he wanted me back, or wanted to at least get to me, to talk to him, he would do whatever it took to get to where I was.

“And then he called about a week ago. He asked me if I had talked to you lately. He asked about a few of your Phoenix friends. Since I’ve never met those people, I told him I had no idea what they were up to.”

Phoenix friends? Those weren’t my real friends. Those were Jacob’s friends. They were people the old Bella would never hang out with. I covered my face with a hand and stared glumly out the kitchen window.

“That’s alright, Mom. Just… if he calls, don’t give him my number or anything, alright? I’ll reach him, not the other way around.”

“Of course not,” Renee said with a click of her tongue. “Who do you take me for?” I laughed, and she joined in reluctantly, as if she had rarely seen this side of me. I pushed the hair off my forehead as I heard some noise in the background.

“Phil?” my mother’s voice called. She was never one to cover the receiver when talking to someone in the background. “Phil?” she repeated.

“I have to go to the office,” came Phil’s somewhat monotone voice. I never did see what my mother saw in him. It always seemed like he lacked passion in anything he did, yet he did it anyway. “Give Bella my regards.”

“Oh, okay,” Renee said to him. “Hurry home, alright? Maybe then we can do something tog—” The slam of the door indicated that Phil had already left, cutting my mother off.

She turned back to me and said, “Did you hear that Bella? Phil says hi.”

Her voice broke my heart. It was as lonely and as empty as the girl I once was, the girl feeling neglected, worthless, nothing. The girl with only her mother to rely on. And now it was the other way around.

“Yes,” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I heard that. Mom, I have to go, but I’ll call back as soon as I can, okay? Within the next 24 hours.” I didn’t want to hang up so quickly after Phil’s untimely departure, but I felt the need to just leave that part of life there for now, in order for me to save another.

“Okay,” my mother’s reluctantly agreed.

I put down the phone and stood from my seat. Charlie looked up from his work to give me a curious glance. “You look like you’re in a hurry.”

I shrugged and slowly made my way toward him. “Look, Dad, I have to tell you something… I mean, we really need to talk.” This conversation was long overdue. I couldn’t believe how long it took me to talk to him about this.

“What about, Bells?”

“I’m sorry I caused you and Helena to break up,” I blurted out, pulling a lock of hair nervously out of my face. I felt as if I would either be sick or pass out. “It’s just… it’s just that I’ve seen a second marriage go downhill. It’s not pretty. It hurts.”

Love hurt. That was the truth. But I wasn’t about to let the people I loved lose it based on my own prejudices. Alice and Jasper, for example. They were clearly in love, and I was happy for them. Just because I had my own share of bad experiences didn’t mean I was a hater of love.

“And you’re afraid of me getting hurt?” Charlie’s skeptical voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Yes! Dad, you know I care.”

Charlie gave me a simple smile and chuckled. “I can take care of myself. But thank you for the concern. Helena and I won’t be getting back together anytime soon, though. And don’t blame yourself. You’re not the reason. There were a number of factors.”

“Don’t lie. I know I was one of them.”

Charlie nodded in agreement. “Yes, but the other issues were far bigger than you.”

I swallowed the large lump in my throat. I didn’t want to feel self-centered, but I couldn’t help but think, had I done enough damage? That must be why they won’t be together ever again. They won’t have a happy ending.

“No! Charlie, please, I’m sorry. I know I overreacted. It was incredibly inconsiderate of me to think—”

Charlie chuckled. “You’re headstrong, Bella. Just like you’re mom. But I need to focus of being a father more. We’re not in any rush for anything. We’re not going to get married tomorrow.”

No need for any mention of the pregnancy test. I looked away from Charlie, not knowing what to say. He raised an eyebrow. “Look, I’ll consider going to talk with her. But I won’t make any promises.”

I threw my arms around Charlie and he staggered back, as surprised as I was. He patted me on the back. “You’re a good kid.”

“You too, Dad.” He laughed and I loosened my arms from around him. Part of the weight was removed from my shoulders. It was a small amount, but still significant all the same.

As I turned to leave the room, I doubled back and grabbed the phone to make a quick call to Alice. She would be pleased that I made such a step. She had suggested it to me before. And so had Edward…

My thoughts trailed off, ready to go other places before Charlie interrupted me. “So, Bella, speaking of… uh… relationships… how’s that Jacob Black doing? Is everything with him working out fine? I see you’re… uh… trying the… uh… long distance thing, right?”

I shrugged. “You could say that,” I murmured under my breath.

“I haven’t told you this because you have a boyfriend and all…” Charlie lowered his voice as if, for some reason, it would make its way to others and become the latest piece of town gossip. “But would it kill ya to take Mike Newton out sometime? He’s been calling, advertising his family’s company, but I know the real reason why.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course he doesn’t like me. I haven’t even really talked to him.”

“Just get him to stop calling our house, please?”

“Just tell him that we don’t need lawn care. Or that you’ll arrest him if he goes anywhere near me. Use your imagination, Dad.” He grinned, shaking his head as I left the room.

I dialed Alice’s cell number, but to my disappointment, she didn’t answer. I figured she must have been at home, phone in purse and purse in her room so she wouldn’t have been able to hear. I found a box of bear paws on the kitchen table, and before putting them away, I snagged a few because I knew Alice loved them. She was the tiniest, thinnest girl I had ever known, but she could eat like nobody’s business. I hopped into my truck and drove to my ex-residence.

I needed to talk to her. Jacob Black was on my tail, and despite my victory with Charlie and his relationship, I couldn’t enjoy it the way I wanted to. What was I to do now? Where should I go? I could always trust in Alice for some answers.

Then again, if Alice wasn’t home, I could always talk to Edward. I was sure he could provide some thoughtful insight, as well. I chewed on my lip as I thought of him, and swore when it bled.

There were no cars in the driveway besides Rosalie’s BMW. I gulped, nervous. I unbuckled myself from the seat, jumped out of the cab, and strode nervously toward the house. I knocked on the door.

As I waited, I pressed my ear closer to the door. I could hear yelling and crying. I broke out into a panicked sweat and knocked even harder on the door. “Just a second!” an exasperated voice came from inside the house. I still had my ear pressed to the door, and to my embarrassment, the door flew open and I took an automatic step back, almost tripping over a step and falling flat on my face. Luckily, I steadied myself on the porch railing.

“Would it kill you to wait to seconds?” Rosalie asked me, her voice strained, but not as rude as I thought it would be. I looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was just wondering if…”

“Nobody is here but me,” Rosalie replied, sounding impatient now. The door was only open enough to see her face. But it didn’t sound like she was alone. I gave her a doubtful look, and shook my head. “Can I wait here?” I prayed that Alice would come home soon. I could either go back home to an empty house, or stay here with Rosalie, who as far as I could tell, hated me.

Why did I choose the latter?

Rosalie sighed and looked down before looking back up at me. “Fine.” She opened the door fully and raised an arm to gesture me inside. On the ground, playing with a Barbie doll, was a girl about seven or eight, who looked like she didn’t want to be playing with Barbie at all.

“I feel too old to play with Barbies,” the girl whined as I walked into the house, taking off my coat and my boots to put them on their appropriate racks. “You look like Barbie, Rosalie! Can I put make-up on you and dress you up?”

Rosalie winced. “I don’t think so, sweetie. How about some TV until your Dad comes by to pick you up? Do you like Hannah Montana?” I went to sit on the long couch, and became uncomfortable when the girl threw the Barbies and clothes on the ground and wailed loudly. “I want Daddy now! You’re no fun, Rosalie! I want my old baby-sitter!”

I bit my lip, nervous again, looking back from Rosalie to the little girl. Rosalie looked as if she were about to explode, but she quickly concealed it with a fake smile. “How about a nap?” she asked. Wrong choice, Rosalie, wrong choice.

“I’m not a baby!” the girl screamed. “And who’s this girl over here? Is she my new baby-sitter? Because she looks like she’d be a better one than you! What’s the use of having a Barbie for a baby-sitter when I can’t even make her over, or dress her up? I’d rather have someone the opposite of Barbie!”

Rosalie took a deep breath, kneeling next to the little girl and stared at her for a long time. The girl crossed her arms. “This is Bella,” she said slowly, shifting between looking at me and looking at her. “She used to live here. Bella, this is Jane.”

“Hi,” I said, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. Little kids did not like me, and I did not work well with them. Jane gave me an uninterested nod, her dark wavy hair moving in sync. “When is daddy coming home?” Jane suddenly wailed. “I don’t want to spend any more time with you, Rosalie!”

“How about some food?” Rosalie offered, her voice faltering as she tossed her long locks of blond hair over her shoulder. “I’ll make you some good stuff.”

“You don’t even know how to cook,” Jane accused, her dark eyes filled with irritation. “You don’t have any junk food.” Rosalie shot me a quick glance before turning to Jane with a shake of her head. A few weeks ago, while I still lived with them, Alice had turned the whole house onto a healthy eating frenzy. No junk food, no carbonated beverages, fresh fruits, vegetables, whole-grains, healthy meats, etc. The only exception was the drinking of coffee. I had caught Alice one night sneaking bear paws in her room. I promised I wouldn’t tell. I smiled as I thought of her stuffing the foil into her garbage and shaking the bag so the wrappers would go to the bottom.

Which reminded me of the ones I had in my purse. “I have bear paws,” I ventured, opening my purse to take out the orange-foil covered snacks. “Want them?” Jane looked at me for a moment and nodded gratefully. “Thank you.”

I hoped that would keep her quiet. Jane seemed like the type of unpredictable child who would scream and shout for the smallest reason, or throw a fit for not getting her way. But I guess a lot of kids were that way.

Jane finally settled on watching The Disney Channel, and Rosalie pulled me aside, her face reluctant. “Thank you,” she told me coolly. “That was… very nice of you.” I shrugged. “I had them anyway; it’s not that big a deal.”

Rosalie nodded, and there was an awkward silence between us. She twisted a lock of hair nervously around a finger, keeping the other arm around her body and watching Jane scarf down the Bear Paws. Finally, crossing her arms, she leaned against the wall and spoke. “I want you to understand that what I’m about to say is very… difficult for me. These past few weeks haven’t been easy.”

I remembered our housemates’ testimonials to Rosalie’s lack of presence at her house, the coolness she had brought between them all, the distance she had brought upon herself. No, these past few weeks hadn’t been easy for anyone at all.

“I-I’ve been doing a lot of thinking…” her voice trembled, which scared me. Cool and confident Rosalie never seemed to have trouble articulating herself. “I haven’t just been ignoring everyone for nothing, you know. I’ve heard what they’ve said.”

I tilted my head to the side and shrugged my shoulders. “It’s… perfectly fine. Look, Rosalie, before you say anything, I’d like to apologize for what I did. I realize that I’m the source for all the problems between you and everyone, and I feel terrible about it.”

Rosalie laughed a hard, rueful laugh. “Bella, why are you blaming yourself? Don’t you see? Hasn’t anyone already told you? We should all be thanking you. You’ve changed us in ways we couldn’t have possibly imagined, and it’s irreversible and permanent. And we all know we’ll be grateful in the long run.” My eyes widened. Rosalie, thankful? What the hell could she possibly be grateful to me about? I had burdened myself with the thought of causing anyone pain, and suddenly she was thankful to me?

“I’m not looking for anyone’s gratitude,” I told her, trying (and failing) to hide the shock written across my face. “And yes, I do believe I’ve been told that before. But it’s difficult for me to believe.”

“I’m not saying that things will go back to the way they were before,” Rosalie said curtly, twisting another lock of hair around her finger, “But I don’t want to owe anyone anything. Thanks to you, I’ve done a lot of thinking, and you’ve said what I knew everyone in the house was afraid of saying. Harsh reality was what I needed, and that’s what I got. And I’ve learned my lesson.”

I raised my eyebrows and cocked my head toward Jane. “Seriously? By the way, you don’t owe me anything. You never have.”

“Yes, seriously,” Rosalie murmured. “I’m planning on breaking up with him tonight. I know that it’ll hurt him, but if I kept it up, it would hurt more than just him in the long run.”

I nodded, a sigh of relief in my head. Rosalie had learned. Rosalie had opened her eyes. Whether or not she would get together with Emmett was none of my business, and it was as unpredictable as the weather. I knew a heart needed time to mend, and Rosalie was obligated to take as much time as she needed. I knew Emmett would want the same for her as well.

Rosalie’s eyes filled with tears, to my surprise. She turned to me and whispered, “Bella, it’s so damn hard. I can’t believe I’m doing this, and here I am. I never dreamed things would turn out this way. I can’t believe I decided to baby-sit her while he and his wife went out for a movie. It’s not supposed to be this way. I’m not supposed to be the third wheel. And I’m not supposed to suck with kids.”

“Oh, Rosalie,” I murmured. “You know, it’s just one of those things.”

Rosalie stifled a laugh. Surprising me again, she reached out and hugged me. I stood there, like a statue, before I wrapped my arms around her, and felt tears drip onto my shirt. “I’m sorry, this probably feels so awkward to you. It does to me, but doesn’t everyone need a hug now and then, just to get by?”

“Yes,” I whispered, my voice caught in my throat.

“These past few weeks… I’ve never felt so alone in my life. I’ve felt loved, then alienated by people who were my friends. I was either loved or hated, never just there. When my defense mechanism came out, I had no choice. I fled. I fled like a coward, and it’s necessary for me now to pay the consequences.”

“We don’t hate you, Rosalie,” I said, feeling obligated to speak for the entire group. “We’re just confused. We don’t understand. But we want to.”

She was silent as I felt her heavy breathing, noting that she was still crying. It still killed me inside when anyone but me cried. I had cried myself out that it was a numb feeling, just there, and it would soon pass. But the ache was always constant, permanent.

“Bella… I’ve lost everything, but do me a favour.”

“Please. Disregard everything I’ve said in the past.”

“What?”

“Edward, Bella. I know things have crumbled for me, but I’m still a believer in true love. And as a silent observer, I know things with Edward and Tanya are going downhill fast. And I also know that you have nothing to do with it.”

“Exactly,” I pointed out. “It’s none of my business. Edward’s my friend, I’d never do anything to hurt him.”

“You love him, Bella. Please, reach out before it’s too late. He loves you too, you know.”

“Not in that way. Just as a friend. Look, Rosalie, don’t do this.”

“Stop denying it. Please, just stop, for everyone’s sake. I know you’ve been receiving mixed advice, but I, speaking from experience, think it’s time. You need to make your move, or it will be too late.”

“I already broke his heart. How many times can a heart be mangled and still be expected to function properly? I can’t do it. For his sake, and mine.”

“If you don’t resist it any longer, things can happen.” She looked at me, her eyes sad.

“Like what?”

“Like love.”

-

Five days later Carlisle and Esme Cullen arrived in Forks.

It took us by surprise. Edward had mentioned something about his parents coming over for a visit, but he never confirmed a date. Nevertheless, it was a breeze for Alice to command orders for house cleaning, room cleaning, and in Emmett’s case, room clearing. He had the biggest room in the house, and Alice kicked him out.

She also called to enlist me into helping with the house preparations the day they arrived, since she wouldn’t be there to supervise. She and Edward would be picking up Mr. and Mrs. Cullen at the airport.

Tanya wasn’t home. It seemed like old times, even though the times weren’t so old. I missed no longer feeling comfortable in the home that used to be mine.

I finished fixing up the wrecked living room from a morning of dangerous Wii games and walked into the kitchen, where Emmett and Jasper were fixing lunch.

“It smells great,” I told them appreciatively as I peered over Jasper’s shoulder at the pan of stir fry. “Where’s Rosalie?”

“Upstairs in the bathroom, putting in some Visine probably,” Emmett replied, chopping some onions. I nodded. It was no surprise that she was still taking her break-up pretty hard.

The reception toward her in the house turned from icy to lukewarm. Rosalie wasn’t as inviting and warm to me since that day she apologized, but she wasn’t ignoring everyone as usual. Without question, they invited her back with open arms. She gave off a timid and apologetic vibe.

The sound of her heels clinking on the stairs signaled she was coming downstairs. Dressed in a chocolate brown sweater and black slim-fitting pants, she smiled as she walked into the kitchen. Her red eyes were still visible behind her thick black glasses.

“I think my eyes are going to be permanently red,” she admitted as she took a stack of plates out of a cupboard along with a stack of placemats.

“Looks that way,” Emmett grinned, teasing. Rosalie playfully rolled her eyes, and the two exchanged a secret smile. I couldn’t help but look at Jasper and exchange a secret smile of our own as his eyes met my own. We had both noticed the change in Emmett when he found out the news of Rosalie’s break-up.

A key turned in the door, and Alice came through the door, her grin as bright as the stars. “We’re home!” Jasper turned off the stove. It was perfect timing. Rosalie hurried to set the table, and Emmett put the rest of the dishes on pot holders.

Carlisle and Esme Cullen were both smiling, their gentle faces looking comfortable and at home as we showed them to their places. Edward came through the door, carrying the rest of their bags.

“Edward, put those bags down. You can bring them upstairs later,” Esme commanded, her gentle voice firm. “Right now, let’s settle down to eat this wonderful lunch your friends have prepared.”

Dr. Cullen rubbed his hands together, a huge grin spreading across his face. “It looks delicious. I have quite an appetite after that plane trip.”

We all sat down to eat, Emmett dodging skeptical looks from Rosalie as he grabbed every dish and gave himself a generous helping. Alice appraised my outfit with critical eyes—I could tell her ideal ‘homecoming outfit’ did not include faded jeans and a v-neck thermal.

“You must be Bella Swan,” Esme smiled warmly at me, tying her honey hair into a bun. “I’m Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen is my husband. I’ve been told you’re the newest addition to the clan here?”

I looked at the ground, about to say yes. But I remembered that no, it was untrue. I no longer resided here, and that made me feel somewhat nauseous and teary-eyed at the same time. “No, I’m not, but it’s nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Esme said, sounding embarrassed, as if she had said something wrong. Staring at me intently, she took her place next to her husband.

“So how are you kids doing? Throwing parties every weekend, I presume?” Carlisle asked us easily as ate. Jasper laughed. Emmett muttered under his breath, “I wish.”

“No, actually,” Alice grinned, her eyes lighting up. “We’re very mature. We all have jobs, and…”

“A job, Alice?” Esme asked, her eyebrows raised, politely showing that she was shocked. She pulled it off easily. Alice nodded and rolled her eyes at Edward. “Didn’t you tell them?”

“I believe I was a bit too preoccupied to tell them anything,” Edward told her, his eyes flickering from my face back to hers. My stomach lurched.

“Which reminds me, Edward, we’ve brought something very special for you,” Esme told him, an arm reached out to lightly touch his shoulder. Edward looked confused and even wary for a second. “We want it to be a surprise, so we’ll tell you later.”

“Aw, don’t we get let in on the big secret?” Alice asked as Jasper raised his eyebrows at her.

“I’ll tell you when I find out,” Edward promised her.

-

After we cleaned up in the kitchen, we settled into the living room for a movie. I sat down, mentally trying to make sure there was a place for everyone, when I noticed that Carlisle, Esme, and Edward had disappeared. They must be showing him the surprise.

“They’re showing Edward the surprise,” Alice reported as if she could read minds. She sat next to Jasper on the couch, grinning. “I’m so excited! I love surprises.”

“I don’t,” I murmured dryly. Emmett laughed. We settled for watching Penelope, one of the movies that were currently on Pay-Per-Vu.

“Some people can be so shallow,” Rosalie scoffed as we watched a scene where Penelope’s potential suitors fled from the house after she revealed her pig-snout nose.

Esme and Carlisle returned with their faces lit up. “Where’s Edward?” Jasper asked.

“Out,” Carlisle grinned, sitting next to Emmett. “What are we watching here?”

“Penelope.”

Even though Carlisle and Esme felt more like friends rather than parental, I could tell that they weren’t interested in the movie. My eyes met Rose’s and she spoke up. “Would you like me to play the piano for you two?” she offered lightly.

”You play?” Esme asked. “Wonderful. Let’s hear it.”

“It’ll also give us a chance to listen if there are any repairs or adjustments needed to be made,” Carlisle added.

“Edward’s been the only one playing it,” I told them. “I doubt it.”

“Ha! You’d think it’d be in pieces by the way Bella treated it when she was learning from Edward,” Emmett joked. My face flushed and Rose shot him a dirty look.

Rosalie, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, and I headed upstairs, to the attic, where the piano was sitting in all its glory, sunlight streaming through the window. Esme and Carlisle sat on the couch, while Alice stared out the window and Rosalie rustled through some papers.

“Edward told me you like a certain song, Esme… let me see if I can find it…”

“You know, Edward’s told us a lot about you all, but not about you being able to play, Rosalie,” Esme remarked. Rosalie shrugged. “No one really knows.”

“He’s told us a lot about you, Bella,” Carlisle said. My eyes widened and Alice turned around, staring at me with her eyebrows raised.

“I doubt it,” I replied, keeping my eyes lowered. “There’s nothing about me to say, really. But that’s very nice of him.”

“Yes, he’s told us about you,” Esme confirmed. “And on the contrary, from the way he talks about you, you seem like an extraordinary person.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice caught in my throat.

“I’m glad he has you for a girlfriend,” Esme continued, her face pulling into a smile again. A lump appeared in my throat and my stomach felt as if it had a hole in it. I froze, my mouth slightly open, my eyes flickering to Alice, who was shaking her head, her eyes wide. Rosalie looked over at me, a concerned look on her face.

“I’m not,” I choked out. “His girlfriend, I mean. His girlfriend is Tanya Kent. She lives here now after I recently moved back in with Charlie.”

“Oh,” Esme said, the smile on her face disappearing completely. She glanced at her husband. “Pardon me for the mistake.”

“Shoot,” Rosalie hissed as the papers on the piano stand slid onto the floor. She bent over to pick them up and I quickly joined in. Rosalie looked up at me as she collected a few sheets that said, “Bella’s Lullaby”. I felt my eyes begin to water, and I wanted to flee the rooms.

“Oh, Bella’s Lullaby,” Esme spoke up, reading the title off of the sheet music Rosalie had in her hand. “He wrote a song for you, too, Bella? I thought I was the only one who had the honor of having a song named after them.”

Alice danced over to us, and knelt down beside me. I tried to collect the few papers that were left scattered on the floor, but her thin arm reached out to stop me. “You know what to do,” she whispered into my ear. “Go, Bella.”

I just looked at her. “I can’t, Alice,” I whispered, when all I wanted to do was scream.

“Are you alright?” Carlisle asked me, his face full of concern. Alice looked up and nodded. “Do you happen to know where Edward went off to?”

A smile appeared on Esme’s lips. “Into town. At the plaza on Meadowvale St.”

“Thank you.”

“Let’s take this outside,” Alice replied. To Carlisle and Esme, she flashed a smile and said, “Bella and I will be just a moment.” Rosalie nodded at us and motioned for us to go as she stood up, the appropriate sheet music in her hands, and sat on the bench.

Alice pulled me outside as Carlisle and Esme looked on, bewildered. “Alice,” I hissed. “Let’s go back in. I’m fine. It wasn’t very polite—”

“Bella,” Alice sighed, looking up at me. “We can’t keep fighting the inevitable. Just go, catch him. Go kiss and make up with him.”

“We’re already friends,” I protested.

”Yeah, but I know both of you with the other was something more. Just save us all the pain and go out with him.”

“I’m not like that. I don’t go out with taken guys.”

“Just go. Go and see,” Alice murmured. “Now, Bella.”

And so I ran. I ran down the stairs, Alice cheering me on as if it were a pep rally, past Emmett, who was carrying a sandwich and whom I nearly walked over, past Jasper, who was coming through the door, and into the endless drizzle.

I drove through the streets, my heart hammering every time I read a street sign. It’s a small town, so I found my way to Meadowvale St. quite easily. I wondered why I hadn’t already memorized all the streets.

Why was I running? Why was I even here? I pondered impatiently at a red light. Because you love him so much, you can’t even take it anymore.

I sniffled as I parked into the plaza lot. Getting out of the truck, I scanned the stores in the plaza to see which one he would likely be at. A fabric store, a pet store, and the china store that Alice and I had been to.

I ran past each of the shops, peering into the windows and receiving curious looks. I ran past the pet shop and the jeweler’s store, before doubling back, not being able to believe my eyes.

There was Edward, tall, impossibly handsome Edward. His bronze hair was darker from the rain, and he was wearing his gray wool coat. I was in awe of him, but more so in what he was doing. My heart completely shut down. I felt warmth spread to my finger tips and halt there. I stared at him, receiving a black velvet box from a smiling, balding jewler.

Edward turned to leave the store, and his eyes met mine. His deep, grin, forgiving eyes. His face was warm, a smile on his lips before he saw me. Now he froze, looking just as shocked as I was.

I couldn’t breathe. If I stayed any longer, I would probably passed out. That was my main motivation, I told myself, as I turned and ran.

It was so simple, yet so difficult at the same time. It was simple to run away from my problems, to try to make sure they didn’t catch up and grab you by the shirt. Yet it was so difficult because the boy I truly loved, when I thought I couldn’t love for a long time after the first, was calling my name. He was calling my name in pain, and each step I took, it faded away then came back, louder than ever. He was running after me.

I piled into my truck and pulled out in a streaming haze of tears. It was over. Indefinitely, unforgivably over. A raging war had finally finished. Someone had won, and someone had lost. We fought and someone fell. Tanya had won. I had fallen, I had lost. She could go claim her prize now. Then again, I thought, it was never really mine.

-

Goodness! This story is almost over :( Quite depressing, I must say. I can’t give you a definite number of chapters it will finish in, though. I’m thinking maybe two or three more chapters and then it will be done. Thanks for keeping up with this story! You guys are honestly troops, and I’m so sorry for the late update. I love you guys!

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Chapter: 19

Ear Candy:

Spotlight – MuteMath

Blister in the Sun – Violent Femmes

Sea of Love – Cat Power

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Nineteen: Ghosts That Broke My Heart

“Bella, you look absolutely beautiful.”

You could imagine my discomfort when he said this. I shifted in my seat, tugging on one of the more conservative pieces that Alice had given me earlier on in the summer that I had on. It was an embarrassment after having a dose of Alice’s style to shop for my own clothes, and she insisted she would not help me anymore even though I didn’t even want to do this.

Charlie had insisted that I did. He felt terrible for the poor guy, calling the house, asking for me and hearing the disappointment in his voice when he was turned down. But I had met the guy only once, for crying out loud. What was I supposed to do?

So explain to me why, a few days later after Charlie cheerfully told him that I would go out on a date with him if he would ‘stop calling our house already, dammit!’, I was still sitting in my seat, on a candle light dinner date with Mike Newton.

Yes, Mike Newton. The same Mike Newton whom Alice was teasing me about, but now had grown cold about once I told her that yes, I was going out on a date with him, and no, I couldn’t cancel.

She asked me about Edward. I refused to answer. I wouldn’t answer. Not this time. I would not kiss and tell and fill my head with her ideas. Alice, of course, was pretty pissed about it, but decided that our friendship was worth more than ‘silly little boys, except for my Jasper’. The second part wasn’t necessary.

I vowed that this was the last time I would fall helplessly to the likes of Edward Cullen. Forget friendship. Friendship was just a hazardous way of letting us play our little game over and over again until one of us got married and left the other one heartbroken.

This was three days after I ran away from him in the pouring rain, praying and begging and screaming inside my head that I would not be followed, yet he did but I knew a faster way out—my monster truck. I looked back in the rearview mirror in time to see him slowing down, box still in hand, face of defeat—face that broke my heart. Again.

How did Edward feel? I had no idea. I hadn’t been to the house since the day I ran after him. But I knew, just knew that Alice and Rosalie’s testimonials that Tanya and his relationship going downhill were absolutely untrue. Edward had probably already popped the question, and Alice was just too afraid of hurting me to tell me—

No. No, Bella. Don’t even think about it.

My eyes flickered from the menu of Le Royale, a Port Angeles upper-class restaurant. I gulped. The food looked pretty pricey, if edible. Mike insisted he would pay for all of it. I felt terrible. I would give him one date, just one, and he was willing to blow probably a two months worth of solid chore money on it. Never mind. He probably had a job; he wasn’t a kid, obviously. But by his giddy behavior, he sure was acting like one.

I blushed without looking up from the menu. “Thank you. You look very handsome.”

“Do I?” Mike asked, a huge grin on his baby face. I nodded, still looking down. The waiter came bustling over, asking for our orders. I told him I wanted the quiche, and Mike said he’d have the same, all while staring at me as if I would be pleased. I didn’t want to be rude, so I smiled back. I needed to make one thing clear, though. Mike had made the deal with my dad, not me. So I was up to call this date our first and last one.

“Mike, I hope you know that I’m not really looking to date anyone right now,” I said to him, avoiding his deep blue eyes. To my surprise, he blinked back, instead of denying that he was ever looking for a relationship.

“Why not?” he demanded.

I shrugged. “Past experiences,” I said simply. Mike opened his mouth, but something in the way I held my expression made him refrain from probing the topic any further.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to know you,” Mike started. Uh oh. Here we go with the denying, with the “I just want to be friends” statements. I am not a self-centered person, and I would rather he not pretend he didn’t like me that way so that I wouldn’t have to feel so awkward.

“I guess you and Cullen aren’t dating, huh?” Mike asked, pouring himself a glass of ice lemon water. I stared at him blankly. “No. We never were.”

“Oh,” he said, staring down at the table. Things were going downhill fast. I wanted this to be quick and painful, but so far all I was seeing was the opposite. But suddenly Mike looked up, sat straight in his seat, and scowled, turning away as if he were disgusted.

“What’s going on?” I murmured to him.

“Nothing. Here come Cullen and that strawberry blonde girl,” Mike replied. I froze in my seat. Heart hammering wildly, I didn’t dare to turn around in my seat and greet them, in fear that I would probably pass out. Mike looked at me with a concerned look on his face.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” I hissed at him. “If you keep looking that way, they’re going to think something’s wrong.”

Mike immediately composed himself and stuck a smug smile on his face as Edward’s smoothly called, “Good evening, Bella.”

Mike’s eyes narrowed and I turned around in my seat. It was impossible to fall under the charm of him, his deep eyes and messy hair. Despite Tanya clinging to his arm, eyes bright, he looked rather uncomfortable. I bit my lip and coolly replied, “Hi.”

The waiter arrived, bringing appetizers. He shot a disapproving look at Edward and Tanya and said, “Sorry, sir, and madam, we don’t have a table ready for you yet. Unless you’d like to join this party, I’d have to ask you to—”

“Yes, we would,” Edward nodded. My eyes widened and Tanya sulked. The waiter immediately pulled up two more chairs for them to sit on. He added the necessary utensils and china and bustled away to get more iced lemon water.

Tanya was glaring at me as she sat in her seat. I kept my eyes locked with hers, but my expression remained cool, emotionless. After all, what did I have to defend? What did I not have to defend? Mike coughed loudly, making me jump.

“Are you alright?” Edward asked me calmly, staring at me as if he had something else to say. I shrugged and stuffed and appetizer in my mouth.

Surely he wanted to say something about the incident that happened just a few days ago. Of course he did. Staring at me like that, making Mike and Tanya look like they wanted to strangle someone. Feeling more uncomfortable than ever, I looked around the restaurant and wondered if this was where Edward wanted to propose.

They were so young. What was Edward thinking? How could he be so foolish? Why couldn’t they wait until after college? My opinions had formed from past experiences, seeing the pain early marriage had inflicted upon Charlie and Renee.

But who was I to judge? Was I seriously condemning their engagement based on my parents, or because I was jealous, because I wished Edward were sitting across from me, wanting to be with me?

A tiny voice at the back of my head said, but he ran after you, Bella. That ought to count for something.

Oh, shut up, I told the voice.

Tanya excused herself for the ladies’ room, and with her nose in the air she strutted away, clutching her purse. Mike looked at me uncomfortably, but I could do nothing but shrug and look away.

“You know, Bella, I tried to talk to you yesterday,” Edward began casually as he played with his glass of water. My eyes narrowed.

“I was a little preoccupied,” I replied. Preoccupied with running away.

“You could’ve waited a second, you know,” Edward said with a hint of frustration in his voice. “It would’ve made all the difference.”

“I don’t think it would’ve,” I shot back.

Edward stared at me for a moment, his green eyes pressing into my own. “What is with you, Bella?” I gulped, about to choke on the lump in my throat and the tears about to fill my eyes. It was so easy for him to make me feel this way. But Mike, thankfully, jumped in.

“Nothing’s wrong with her. Maybe it’s you with the problem?” Mike said, losing his cool.

“I doubt it,” Edward said, laughing it off, obviously trying to ease the tension. Mike’s shoulders loosened, but I still looked painfully away, my heart hammering wildly and heat rising to my cheeks.

“Special date with Tanya tonight?” I just had to ask.

Edward shrugged. “Look, Bella, something very important is about to happen,” he said to me, his rich voice filling my ears, the actual words hurting my heart, his eyes boring into my own. I blinked at him. “Oh?”

“Yes,” he replied, the corners of his mouth turning upward, as if he were enjoying tormenting me with not actually saying what was going to happen.

Watching this exchange between Edward and I, Mike put in, “You and Tanya look great together. She seems like a great girl, you’re lucky to have her.”

“Do you want her?” Edward asked dryly. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I stifled a giggle, but quickly clapped a hand over my mouth. “Sorry.”

Edward grinned at me, and suddenly I was hopelessly and utterly distracted by his features. Perfect, angular nose, crooked grin, bronze hair.

And then Tanya was back. Edward became serious and quiet as she sat down, her face freshly powered and hair neat as a pin. “What are we talking about?”

“You,” Mike said bluntly. “I said you looked great.”

Tanya smiled shyly at Mike. “Thank you.”

As if perfect time, a waiter came over and announced that a table was ready for Edward and Tanya. Throwing a quick glance at her, Edward replied with a nod, and stood up. “It was nice seeing you two,” he said politely as Tanya stood up. Mike and I said the same thing back, but Tanya was already striding away with a little wave over her shoulder.

“I’ll see you later?” asked Edward, almost hopefully. I stared at him. This was it. I didn’t want him to go, not when the whole room would suddenly burst into applause as Tanya accepted her engagement proposal. The aching feeling in my heart returned, and suddenly I felt ill, as if I were about to cry. I shrugged and turned away, and Edward left with a confused look on his face.

“Are you okay?” Mike asked me. I shook my head. “I think I need to go home,” I whispered to him, hand on my forehead. “We need to leave right away.” I felt bad that we had already ordered, but we left before our food even came. I didn’t object when Mike held my hand with a little smirk on his face to lead me out the door. I didn’t notice as Edward looked up, utterly and completely perplexed, and even, was I just imagining this, jealousy?

We got into his car and drove in silence until we finally reached my doorstep, porch light still on and Charlie probably fast asleep on the couch as the TV played a late-night hockey game.

Mike walked me to the porch, and I swiftly gave him a kiss on the cheek, thanking him for the short but lovely time we had. With another hug, he said maybe we could do it again sometime, with no interruptions, and I gave him a quick nod and he drove off. I realized that maybe he wasn’t as bad as I first thought he would be. This brought another wave of tears to my eyes how begrudging I acted toward him at the beginning of our date.

And it was that much harder that Edward was there, about to propose to Tanya, and was getting warmed up when he sat down with us. My heart was breaking thousands of times over, and I pushed the door open after I unlocked it and found Alice sitting at the table with Jasper, reading a Cosmpolitan magazine while Jasper read another architectural magazine.

I was in tears by the time Jasper pulled out a chair for me, and was rubbing my shoulder while Alice stroked my hair and promised she would make us some tea, and everything would be all right, things can only get better from here.

-

“What a jerk.”

“I can’t believe he’s actually proposing to Tanya.”

“I can’t believe I have an asshole for a best friend.”

We were lying side by side on my bed, staring at my ceiling, Alice in between Jasper and I. Our empty tea cups were on my dresser, and Jasper had one arm around Alice’s shoulder as she had her arms folded across her chest.

“I feel like an idiot,” I moaned quietly as I shifted on the bed slightly. Jasper and Alice were a string of angry voices as they reassured me that, no, I wasn’t stupid, and Edward was a dumbass for deciding to be a potential candidate for MTV’s Engaged and Underage.

“It would be totally kickass if we could just drive to Port Angeles right now and stop the whole shindig,” Alice commented. Jasper nudged her playfully. “I don’t think that would work. Port Angeles is what, an hour away? By then they would’ve already left.”

Alice put on a devilish grin. “I drive fast.”

I was already feeling better. It was probably the tea and the fact that two of my favourite people in the world were trying to make the situation as light as possible. It still wouldn’t take the ache away from my heart and stomach, but it was a start.

I was still in my dress, and it was scratchy and itchy and my shoes, I just realized, pinched my feet but I didn’t care enough to take them off. “I wonder how Esme and Carlisle will feel about this,” Jasper said as he put a hand behind his head.

“Oh my God! They knew—that’s why they didn’t want to tell us anything! This was the surprise!” Alice’s mouth formed a perfect O, and then her face pulled into a scowl. “Some best friend—he promised he would tell me, and he didn’t! Ugh! What is wrong with him?”

“He’s a man in love—that’s his problem,” Jasper replied. Alice shushed him and while trying to be discreet with pointing at me, failed miserably. I shrugged. “Oh well,” I murmured softly. “Coulda woulda shoulda.”

Somewhere between Alice and Jasper murmuring that everything would be okay to them debating on whether Rosalie would fess up to what happened the night she broke up with Greg, I drifted away, further and further, a warm fuzzy feeling erupting in me, comfortable and oddly familiar and reassuring.

I could faintly hear Alice and Jasper leaning over me, calling, “Bella? Bella?” because I had stopped responding. But I was too far gone now, and they needn’t worry.

As if it were his warm breath pressed up against my ear, or him joking about how I could hardly remember the proper keys on the piano, or stretching an arm around me as we all settled for a lazy afternoon of movies, I felt myself going under and falling, falling, falling, the feeling knocked out of me, nothing more left. I no longer needed stress—the future was set in stone, and so was my own, my future without Edward in it.

-

I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. No, I couldn’t mope around my house all day and lie in bed with the door shut and Charlie knocking on it, demanding why I wasn’t up and at ‘em like I usually was. I would tell him that my sudden bout of depression was a delayed reaction and he need not worry and then he would leave for the station and I could sleep solidly, like a rock.

But Jasper and Alice woke me up, a steaming cup of coffee held to my face and concerned looks on their faces as they leaned over me. “Thank goodness,” Alice remarked, “We thought we’d never be able to wake you up.” Jasper nodded in agreement, and I sat up to squint at the clock on my dresser. It was almost eleven o’clock in the morning.

“Charlie left,” Alice murmured, “He said he had some important things to do at the station, and to tell you he was going to have coffee with Helena afterward.” Alice winked at me and smiled. “So I guess everything with Charlie is going to be alright, hmm?” I nodded weakly and sat up. I was happy, but my body was aching from the position I had slept in.

“Get changed,” Alice said to me. “We’re going back to the house,” Jasper added.

I groaned inwardly. “Why are you guys doing this to me?”

Alice rolled her eyes. “We’re not doing anything to you, Bella. But today is the last day Carlisle and Esme are here, and they’d like to see you before they leave.”

I covered my face with a pillow. “I’ll just give them a call,” I mumbled, my voice distorted.

I lifted the pillow from my face when all I received was silence and saw Jasper and Alice’s stern looks. I moaned and got up, threw on what Alice had laid out for me without much thought, took the purse and keys Alice had given me, and followed them to the Porsche.

“Bella, I have some great news,” Alice’s eyes lit up as she got into the car, staring at me in the rearview mirror. “I got a call from my father this morning.”

I looked to Jasper’s face, but he too looked as expectant as I did. “Really?” I was expecting anything amazing. After all, Alice did talk to me about the disdain she held for her parents, but I wondered what he could’ve said or done that could earn the look of Alice’s face, which was glowing.

“He got me into The Art Institute of Seattle,” Alice exclaimed, her voice excruciatingly happy, her eyes watering with tears. “He got me in this late. Can you believe it?”

“That’s wonderful,” I murmured, my own eyes filling with tears. More so I couldn’t believe that this summer was actually coming to an end. It felt as if it would last forever, but I realized that September was coming fast.

Jasper gave Alice a warm smile. “This is great,” he said gently as he turned onto another road. Driving with one hand, Alice held the other. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, before looking away. Alice glanced behind to look at me for a brief second, then doubled back as she saw me wipe away a stray tear.

“God,” I murmured, noticing her, “I’m such a softie.” Alice grinned. “Just think, you’ll be at UCLA, Emmett will be at U dub, Rosalie at NYU, Edward at University of Chicago… and Jasper at Dartmouth.” Her voice trailed off as she realized the same thing I was thinking.

“Three of us on the west coast, three of us on the east,” Jasper remarked. Something in his voice sounded as if he were struggling to say the words, and Alice glanced over at him nervously.

“It’ll be okay,” she whispered, staring at him. Jasper continued to look straight ahead at the road. I stared out the window. It was starting to drizzle, which wasn’t a surprise. We pulled into the driveway of the boarding house and all of us left the tension-filled car.

Alice held Jasper’s hand nervously as he led her up the porch stairs and unlocked the door. I followed, feeling the mood of the conversation the night before was killed. Emmett came to greet us, the smile on his face fading as he saw our moody-filled expressions.

“Who died?” he joked. When we didn’t answer, he sat down. “Okay, look, what’s going on?” he asked, his voice turning serious. I shrugged and sat down at the table.

“My dad called me this morning and told me I was accepted into The Art Institute of Seattle,” Alice said quietly. “We’re not taking it so well.”

Emmett pulled Alice into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, kid. And we’re going to be in the same city! This is going to be better than I imagined!” Catching sight of Jasper’s stony face, Emmett’s excitement died down. “Look, you guys won’t be apart forever.”

“No,” Jasper slowly agreed. “Of course not.”

“That would be silly,” Alice chimed in, wiping a stray tear from her face. She turned to Jasper. “This is going to be good for us both. After we get a kick start on our careers, I can move or transfer to New York, and we we’ll be less far from each other.”

Jasper’s face pulled into a soft smile. “I don’t want you to throw any opportunities away. I know I wouldn’t.”

Alice nodded and the ambiance became the private kind between Jasper and Alice. I bit my lip and gestured to Emmett to leave the room, and we left the couple in the kitchen, opting to watch TV in the living room.

“Bella,” Emmett grinned. “Long time no see. How are you?”

I sat on the couch next to him. “Not bad. Yourself?”

“Just peachy. Listen, do you know what’s up with Edward?”

My stomach tied into a knot and I immediately tensed, shifting in my seat uncomfortably. “No, no I don’t. What happened?”

Emmett raised an eyebrow. “Well, he’s been acting strange ever since his parents came, but early this morning Carlisle and Esme told me they were leaving to go talk to him. Apparently he rented a hotel room in Port Angeles?”

What? A hotel? So, was Tanya there too? Were they ‘celebrating’ the engagement? I guess they wanted to surprise everyone here. That was only to be expected. My breath quickened and a shiver ran through my entire body.

“I have no idea,” I whispered to Emmett. “I did see him last night, though, when I went on a date with Mike Newton. He was with Tanya.”

Emmett’s face pulled into one of disgust. “That’s disturbing. But wait, the Newton kid? You’ve got to be kidding me!”

I shook my head, glad that Emmett had steered the conversation in a different direction. “Unfortunately, I’m not. The date was quite dismal,” I added, wanting to keep the conversation on this topic for as long as possible. “He did bring me to a really, really nice restaurant though. That was nice of him.”

Emmett cracked up. “You know the date was bad when the one nice thing you can say about it was how nice the restaurant was.” I blushed and laughed along. It was nice to take my mind off things, to talk normally with Emmett.

Rosalie poked her head into the room. My guard went up when I saw her. “Hi, guys,” she said coolly as she slid into the room, in pyjamas and a bathrobe. “Hi, Bella. Long time no see.”

“I’ve been busy.” That was my standard excuse.

“I see. Emmett, where are Carlisle and Esme? Have they left already?” Rosalie’s forehead creased as her face pulled into a worried frown. Emmett shook his head. “They went to get Edward.”

“Where is he? He didn’t come home last night.”

“No idea.”

Rosalie’s eyes flickered to my face, then away. “I’m going to make some coffee. Do you two want some?” I shook my head. Emmett nodded.

So the cool ambiance that came whenever Rosalie did was back. I decided that no matter what happened between Rosalie and me, she wouldn’t act any nicer to me than she was to an acquaintance. I couldn’t decide whether I was comfortable with this revelation or not.

Suddenly a loud, thundering noise could be heard from outside. The tapping on the windows and roof grew even louder. Jasper came into the room and pulled open the curtains, revealing a storm that had just begun outside. He groaned.

“This looks bad,” Rosalie commented as she drifted into the room. “I can’t imagine how it’s going to be like getting Carlisle and Esme home.”

As she said this, the phone rang. Alice, in a sing-song voice, called, “Bella! Phone!” I stood up to get it, and she gave me a sympathetic look as I took it from her. “The reception is pretty bad,” she advised. I nodded. “Hello?” I asked into the phone.

“Bells, it’s Charlie,” Charlie’s gruff voice came from the phone, almost happy. My forehead creased into a frown. What was he doing out of breath? “Charlie? What’s going on?”

“I can barely hear you, Bells. This damn storm,” Charlie replied through the fuzzy connection. I wondered, in a town as small as this one, was it possible to lose phone connection with someone who was just a few blocks away? “Anyway, I have some news for you.”

“What is it—wait, Charlie, you’re breaking up.”

“So your—stopped by today—is very eager,” was all that came from the phone. And then Charlie’s voice was cut off completely, followed by the dial tone, and then the indication that the power had turned off as the lights cut out and the TV was silent.

“Crap,” I said.

“Shit!” came Emmett’s voice from the living room. Alice’s eyes widened. “Oh God, not the power,” she murmured. “The last time this happened, it took well over a day to get it back.”

Rosalie came into the room, sighing as she tapped the coffee maker. “This is terrible.”

My brain whirled, and my instincts to go and check up on Charlie kicked in. What if something bad happened to him? What if he was hurt? And what did he mean by my something stopped in today and is very eager? I wanted to know as soon as possible.

I marched to the closet and pulled my coat out. “Bella, where are you going?” Alice followed me nervously. “I’m going to my house. I need to see Charlie.”

“What for? He’s fine,” Alice replied as I saw Jasper come into the room. I shook my head. “He also told me that someone stopped by his place today and is very eager to… something. I need to know.”

“It’s probably not that important,” Alice insisted as Jasper put an arm around her shoulders. I shrugged. “I’m a natural worry-wart,” I assured her. She raised an eyebrow. “No. You’re not going. How will you get home without a car?”

Then I could hear the sound of a vehicle pulling up into a driveway. It was louder than I expected, actually. Had Charlie driven my truck over here? I began to zip up my coat.

“Bella, you’re going to be caught in the rain,” Jasper added as Alice bit her lip and gave me a stern look. “Just stay awhile. I honestly doubt anything would happen to Charlie in this weather.”

I sighed. “You guys really don’t want me to leave, do you? And what if Carlisle and Esme and Edward return? Do you want me to be around for that?”

Alice’s eyes narrowed. “Do you really think that—”

Suddenly Emmett called from the living room, “Who the hell is that?”

“Who, Emmett?” Rosalie replied from the kitchen, staring into the living room from the doorway. “Whoa. There’s a guy coming up the driveway. Yeah, who is that?”

“Who’s who?” Alice demanded, about to go into the living room until there was a knock at the door. Jasper’s tensed, and my eyes widened. I knew he could feel the weirdness of the situation as much as I could. “Well, that’s my cue to leave,” I said to them, turning the doorknob and opening the door.

And just like that, my life was on rewind, like it wouldn’t stop playing. As if I had traveled to the past, and there was no running away from it now. I had to face this, whether I liked it or not. That is, if I was even able to. I was dizzy and my breath quickened and my heart was racing a million beats per second and I could feel the eyes whirling to the back of my head when they really weren’t and then I could hear his voice, his voice bringing me back to Arizona and the events of that night and the crying, oh God the crying and the engagement ring and my mother and not telling Charlie and then I swore my heart stop.

Standing before me, hands in jean pockets, leather jacket over his shoulders, his wet hair from the rain, was Jacob Black. Now I knew who Charlie was talking about.

And the storm continued on, and I could hear the thunder coming as if on cue, cueing the Big Bad Wolf into play.

-

Oh my goodness! I think that there are only going to be two or three chapters after this one, I’m practically sure of it. Another cliffy, ah this one broke my heart! But he had to come, I planned it from the very beginning. By the way, guys, this will be my last chapter until mid-January. Sorry, guys, I won’t have access to a computer until mid-January. I know, I know, how will I be able to function without writing! Gah! So I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and I’ll see you all next year, with the ending of this story in tow and some new stories to introduce you all! Thanks for the continued support, I love you guys more than words can say! And to some special reviewers (you know who you are) who take the time in giving me extra long reviews, an extra big hug to you all!

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Chapter: 20

Disclaimer: You should know it by now!

Damn, you guys are some kickass reviewers! I couldn’t ask for better readers! Honestly, you guys have made my week. It completely makes up for the fact that I think I failed an exam, and possibly a course! Thank you all! And I hope you guys had a terrific Holiday vacay.

Ear Candy:

Boston – Augustana (Acoustic Cover by AJ Rafael)

Nothing Lasts Forever – Maroon 5 (Ukele Cover by AJ Rafael)

Lost – Michael Buble (Cover by AJ Rafael)

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Twenty: Relief

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to run away. I wanted to pass out and be taken away where I would never see anyone ever again.

All this because I was literally falling to my knees when Jacob appeared, hands in jeans pockets, a sheepish grin on his face, just like the boy I used to know. “Hi,” he said with a tiny shrug. Instead of melting like my heart used to do, it stayed shocked, frozen, and was going to crack into a million little pieces.

Jasper’s eyes flashed and Alice let out a startled gasp. No doubt with all the talking about him from me she knew his description pretty well, and knew that the boy in front of us was the very boy that I held such disdain for, such heartbreak.

I was dazed. I staggered, but Jasper steadied me. Jacob held his hands out as if he could somehow help, but the look on Jasper’s face made him double back. Alice let out a little whimper. “B-Bella…” she murmured. I stood up, giving a grateful nod to Jasper but feeling my cheeks flush at the same time.

“Jacob,” I finally managed to spit out as I looked up at his face, his short hair longer since I’d last seen him, making him look more boyish, and if possible, more innocent. Rosalie and Emmett came into the room, Rosalie looking guarded, and Emmett looked outrageously pissed.

But suddenly, as if hit with a strong, invisible force, I knew what to do. My legs were no longer weak, be it because I was no longer looking at him or because I was determined to do this right. I turned around and looked at the faces of my new family, the people who loved me even though they only just met me this summer, and took a deep breath.

This is it, Bella. This is your time. It’s time to show everyone what you’re made of, I thought to myself, as corny as it seemed. My eyes slowly traveled to up Jacob’s face, finally meeting his eyes. Instead of the cold hollow ones I had been so used to seeing, I saw a glimpse of the old Jacob I used to know—the one with the soft eyes, impeccable sense of humour, and just the love of living. I didn’t know if I’d ever see that side of him again.

I caught my breath and cleared my mind, finally asking, with the least emotion possible, “Why are you here?”

“I know this—”

The questions flooded my brain, and I had no choice but to blurt them out, in fear that I would never get this chance again.

“How did you get here?”

Jacob’s gesture to his motorcycle made me flush in embarrassment. He stared at me for a moment before asking, “Do you mind if I come in? It’s kind of… wet out here.”

The thunderstorm was starting to clear, and I could even see a peek of sun through the damp, grey sky.

Four pairs of eyes were staring at me, daring me to make any sort of move. I knew they thought it wasn’t there place whether or not to invite him into our home. I sighed. I didn’t want to invite Jacob in, but I couldn’t very well let anyone stand outside in the wind and rain, freezing, and after riding a motorcycle.

My eyes watered a little. The four, now five, pairs of eyes looked alarmed. “Yes, yes I do mind,” I said to him in a throaty voice, my failed attempt to sound cold. “We can talk somewhere else.”

I tried to avoid the eyes, but it was no use. When I looked up, Jasper had a look of conflict on his face, and Alice was visibly upset. I could tell Emmett was struggling to maintain his cool, and Rosalie looked concerned.

Jacob responded with a simple shrug. “That’s fine.”

As I pulled on my boots, Alice fluttered to my side and whimpered, “Bella…” her voice was heartbreaking, but there was no turning back now. I turned to her and swiftly pecked her on the cheek. “Thank you, Alice. For everything,” I said to her, forcing a smile. “Don’t worry about me.” Her face changed, turning into a blank canvas. I looked at Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie, who remained alarmed but cautious. I gave them a small smile, all traces of it nowhere to be found as I turned to Jacob.

“Let’s go.”

“Sure, but you’ll have to tell me where we’re going. I’m not familiar with this place,” Jacob replied, looking expectant. I shrugged. “Okay.”

As Jacob headed to his motorcycle, a voice stopped me from following. “Wait,” Rosalie called out. “Are you just going to let him walk out the door, after everything he’s done? Is no one going to stop him?” She was staring expectantly at Emmett. Emmett cocked his head to the side and said, “I think she can take care of herself. She wouldn’t go with him if she didn’t know what she was doing.”

I stared wordlessly at my family for a swift moment, and then followed after Jacob, who was holding out his spare helmet, and taking it, without ever looking back.

-

It was like the dream I had. Speeding past the small houses on Jacob’s motorcycle, my arms wrapped around him, but not tightly, just in case I needed to let go. It was just like before—every time I was on his motorcycle, a part of me, buried deep down, needed to pray. Even though I had truly loved him and could trust him, a part of me couldn’t.

Strangely enough, it was the part of me that was actually me.

I directed him to the Pancake house through the noise of the engine and wind. Surprisingly, we made it there faster than Alice and I ever had. He parked in the nearest available space, and I flushed bright pink when I saw all the customers in the diner, staring at us; their jaws dropped open in awe.

Jacob gestured for me to go in first after I took off my helmet and handed it to him. I walked in, bravely trying to ignore the whispers and stares and strange looks I received. I pulled out a chair for myself at a random table and sat down, Jacob sitting across from me.

The waitress came bustling over, obviously eager to get in on any sort of conversation she could overhear and then relay to the other gossipers in town. Without looking up from my menu, I asked if she could give us a few minutes, please. She nodded, glum and disappointed.

As soon as she was out of sight, Jacob leaned in, and spoke in a low, urgent voice. “Bella… I know you must be surprised that I’m here, and I’m sorry for coming here on such short notice…”

I shrugged, trying to remain nonchalant. Inside, I was freaking out.

“Look, I know it was way out of line for me to just leave that night, but I had a lot on my mind…”

The words were flowing out like mush in my ears. I felt fuzzy all over, being brought to that cold, familiar time. I didn’t think I’d revisit it again, but here I was, having repeated by the one who hurt me the most. Nevertheless, it didn’t delay my reaction. I wasn’t about to just sit there quietly, like the old Bella would. And I wouldn't let whatever preceptions I had about him now ruin my plans for a confrontation and full closure. I couldn't forgive him again, I couldn't give him another chance.

“I’ve heard that one before.”

“Could you just listen to me, please? Could you just be the Bella I know and love, and keep quiet?” Jacob asked me, his lips pressing into a hard line.

No, Jacob. I can’t be her. She’s a completely different person. This is the real me.

I kept quiet. I wanted him to continue. I’ve waited for this, waited for an explanation. I was going to get it. And if he wanted to do it the hard way, then fine.

“I had to leave, Bella. Listen to me, I had to. I had no choice. How could we get married, with me being the way I was? Drinking, smoking, how could I remain a teenager with a wife? I had to grow up, and I was conflicted. I didn’t know whether I wanted to become a grown-up so quickly, or just keep my life…”

“You didn’t know where your priorities lay,” I said to him flatly. My eyes were watering. I wasn’t so used to being angry at someone that tried to reason with me. The hurt was bottling up, and was soon going to explode.

“Yes, I did,” Jacob pleaded desperately, his eyes growing huge. “With you. I’ve changed, Bella, I’ve changed. We can be together. We can have the life we’ve always wanted. We can start all over.”

Had I really wanted the life he’d pictured for us? Or was I just eager to escape my lonely, dismal existence and have the feeling of being alive again? It seemed the latter was the obvious truth now. Although it sent shivers down my spine thinking about it, I could now stare at Jacob calmly. I could not express my true feelings without the fear of being hurt. I would not cry, no, I would not shed another tear over someone who had such little importance in my life.

“We can’t, Jacob,” I told him, my voice wavering a little. “We just can’t be together.”

“What are you talking about?” Jacob asked incredulously, as if the thought were ridiculous. “I know I was an ass, but I’ve already told you why and what I’ve done about it. This is it, we can start over.”

He hadn’t exactly told me what he had done to change himself. Going away was the true thing to do, the best thing to do? I didn’t see it.

“No,” my voice was quieter now. “You’ve changed, Jacob, sure. But here’s the thing—so have I.”

“You can’t know that,” Jacob ruefully laughed. I stared at him with wide eyes. Shaking my head for a moment, I said, “How do you know that was the life I’ve always wanted?”

Now it was Jacob’s turn to stare. “Is this some kind of joke?”

I looked back at him with questioning eyes. “What do you think? Do you think that it was my dream to get married at eighteen like my mother did? Do you think I wanted to get knocked up at a young age? God, blinded by you, by everything made me think it was a good idea at the time. But now, now—” I paused. “It just seems ridiculous.”

“Bella, where the hell is this all coming from?” Jacob asked, his tone the warning tone that always sent of caution signals in my brain, the ones that told me to stay on his good side, or I would face the consequences. But this was a public place. Then again, I didn’t know Jacob might do.

“This is coming from a different girl, the one who I really am. The one who was there before you—before everything happened,” I said, my voice edged with hurt but still striving to stay strong. “When you left, Jacob, it really put things into perspective for me.”

“Bella,” Jacob began, slowly, “What—”

“Please,” I whispered, “Listen to me. When you proposed, I wanted everything that you promised. I wanted a life with you; I wanted to be married and to be alive and free, without any obligations, without any regrets, without anything to hold me back. I wanted to be loved forever, to have someone there for me, someone to protect me. But when you left, I realized that what we wanted was foolish. It wasn’t realistic, and it really would’ve been poisonous for me in the long haul. I changed back into the girl I was, the girl I will always be, the healthy girl who’s herself, and better yet, who has friends who actually like her! I’m not lonely anymore, Jacob.” I couldn’t look at him as I spoke. Was I afraid that he would hurt me physically, or by the look on his face? I didn’t know.

“Can’t you be yourself and with me, Bella?” Jacob asked. “I know you. You’ve been happy with me. If you were happy then, how difficult would it be to be happy with me now?”

“Very difficult,” I replied. “I don’t trust you, anymore, Jacob.”

The waitress returned, looking very apprehensive. I could see her throwing back anxious looks to her manager, who was standing behind the counter, arms crossed against his chest. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you folks will have to order something. We don’t like loiterers,” she whispered, apologetic.

“Oh,” I said, startled and embarrassed. “Well, uh…”

“I’ll have a Sprite,” Jacob nodded to her. The waitress looked back at me, and I shook my head. “I’ll be leaving soon, thanks,” I said.

Jacob looked at me, confused. “We haven’t finished talking, Bella. You have to listen to me. I’ve changed, you can trust me one hundred percent. I know I’ve made mistakes, but that’s all in the past now.”

“That’s not it.” Every refusal I gave him, every shake of my head, took a small amount of weight off my shoulders. It was like I was slowly taking in new air. I felt like I could breathe.

“Then what is it, Bella?” Jacob asked me, frustration edging his voice. “You’re not giving me any answers. Is there something wrong with me? Are you in love with someone else?” He asked this as if the idea were absolutely ridiculous. It was like a blow to the gut—it was as if he had seen me as worthless, as if no one would want me and I could go running back to him as soon as he returned.

I was in love with someone else. It was so easy to admit now, but so hurtful at the same time. “Yes, I’m in love with someone else, if you really want to know,” I told him, my voice stronger now. “But you know what? That doesn’t even matter now, Jacob. I can’t be with you. I can’t trust you; I can’t even be around you. And you know why? It’s because you changed me, not in ways that I liked, as I look back now. Everything that we’ve been through has changed me; it’s given me more insecurities than I’ve had before I met you. And because of that, I can’t even be with the person I love because I can’t let go of the past, I can’t get over the pain. But seeing you, now, I feel like maybe, just maybe, I can.”

“Who the hell is the guy?” Jacob demanded. Just like him to. It was just like him to ask in jealousy about who a potential threat to him was, and not at all about myself. It was as if he hadn’t heard me at all.

I laughed a cold laugh. “It doesn’t matter now. He’ll never be with me, I missed my chance, I was too late. But I can’t be with you, Jacob. I used to think that you’d come back, that everything would be perfect…”

Jacob interrupted me. “So does that mean I’ve wasted my time?” he asked me, giving me a cold stare. “God, Bella, you could’ve given some advance notice. I come back to Phoenix, find from our friends that you’re gone, and have to scavenge my way through everyone, even your mother, just to find where you were in order to come back to you, and now that I’m here, you don’t even want to get back together?”

“What the hell, Jacob,” I cried out, annoyed. “I never asked you to come back. But no, it wasn’t a waste of time. Not for me, anyway. Thanks to you, I know what I want. I know what I have to get over, and what I’ve already gotten over…”

“Can you cut the crap, already, Bella?” Jacob said angrily. “You drag me all the way out here for nothing… nothing at all! Shit, could you have been more selfish?”

My eyes widened. Jacob, calling me selfish? If I didn’t know he was this idiotic, I may have been denser than I thought. “I’m not selfish, Jacob.” I really didn’t have anything else to say to him. He didn’t deserve my excuses, my words. I felt better about myself than I felt in a couple of years, and I wasn’t about to let him take that away from me.

“Yes, you are. You don’t want to even listen to what I’ve had planned out for us in the future, everything that can happen now, now that I’ve come back. We can get married, get a place somewhere…” Jacob was so persistent. Every dream that I had about him had already burned away. Why couldn’t he see that? Why was he so stubborn?

“It’s too late,” I murmured, looking him in the eyes. “I’m sorry, but I already pictured all that. It was something that could have been, but it isn’t possible anymore. I saw the house, the kids, the life, but I don’t think we’re on the same page. I mean, I don’t think you even want kids.”

I didn’t tell him about the tiny child, not even old enough to be called a child, that we had already lost. I kept that locked inside of me, and even I was not about to reveal that to Jacob. It would be all the more reason for him to say we should be tied together.

Jacob blinked at me. “I think we’re a bit too young for kids.” I wanted to punch him. I was so exasperated—were things really this hard to explain to him before? Oh, right. I usually let him do the talking.

The waitress arrived with Jacob’s Sprite. I stared at it for a moment, and wondered if it was my cue to leave. Jacob looked up at me expectantly, the waitress giving me the same look as if she expected me to order something.

And then my phone rang.

“Bella? Bella? Oh my God, are you okay?” Alice cried from the other end of the line. My eyes widened in panic. “Yes, I’m fine. Alice, what’s going on?”

“Bella, you have to get over here. It’s urgent. It’s nothing bad—no one is hurt, but really, this involves you. You have to get over here as soon as possible or else… I can’t explain in on the phone. It’s too much. Listen, I’ll try to postpone things but you need to be here… right now. Oh, and when Jacob comes, Emmett does plan to kick his ass. Just so you know. Okay, so be here! Bye!” Alice nervously rushed the ending. But throughout the entire call, she sounded breathless and scared. I hung up the phone, Jacob looking extremely pissed off.

“You could’ve ignored the call, you know. It’s rude to take a call when you’re in the middle of a conversation.”

I glared at him. “We weren’t in the middle of a conversation. And what makes you exactly deserve my respect?”

Jacob’s eyes flashed. “Bella, I’m—”

The waitress stood there gaping at us, notepad and pen in hand, before Jacob snarled at her, “Do you mind?” Her eyes widened and she walked away with her nose in the air. I predicted only a few minutes before the manager would kick us out. It was just as well, anyway.

“I really don’t have anything else to say to you, Jacob,” I murmured, looking into his eyes. “This is it—goodbye. But listen, before I leave, there’s something I have to say.”

Jacob opened his mouth in protest, but I continued. “I don’t hate you. If anything, you’ve helped me learn more about myself. And for that, I thank you.” Relief washed over me. Was this what I wanted all along? Was this what I needed? I was no longer afraid of Jacob. He could no longer attach himself to me; the pain didn’t have to linger anymore.

“Bella, wait!” Jacob called after me. I stopped and slowly turned around, walking back to him so he would’ve have to scream something out in front of the whole diner. “What is it?” I asked him.

“I love you.”

“No, you don’t. Not me, anyway,” I told him. Surprisingly, I was able to smile. Jacob put his arm down, a symbol in my mind of him letting go, him admitting defeat. It was no longer a symbol of hurt, destruction. I would no longer see him reach out his arm to strike me, or to brush the hair out of my face, to control me.

I walked out of the diner, out of his life, away from my past. I was ready to go meet my future, wherever it was. If I was able to get there—my heart sunk when I realized that I didn’t have any means of transportation back to the boarding house, where I was sure Alice was calling from. I dialed her cell.

“Alice?”

“Bella! How is everything? When are you getting here? How are you getting here? And you really have to hurry!” Alice sounded even more nervous now. I heard a murmur of voices behind her, and my pulse started to quicken,

“I-I don’t know, Alice,” I stammered. “I don’t know how to get back. But will you just tell me what’s going on, right here, right now? I can’t stand surprises. I can’t stand this.”

“Where are you?”

“In front of the pancake house.”

“Oh, good,” Alice said, her voice hinting relief. “We already dispatched Emmett. I’ll just call and tell him where you are. Stay there. Ev—”

I interrupted her. “Uh, Alice, I think Emmett’s already here.” Sure enough, his large grey jeep pulled into view, narrowly missing a few cars on its way into the parking lot. I was about to walk to where he pulled up to, but Emmett jumped out of the car, the engine still running.

“Bella! Are you alright?” Emmett asked me, his voice a growl. I nodded. “Emmett, if you want something in the diner, you have to park! You can’t just leave the engine running…”

“Oh, I want something from the diner,” Emmett said, nodding to Jacob’s shiny motorcycle. “I want to kick that Jacob Black’s ass! But I don’t need to park, since I’m sure it’ll take no time at all.”

And then rolled up his sleeves and headed inside.

“Wait, Emmett, don’t!”

-

Hey guys. So I’ve just eaten a slice of Cheesecake Factory Double Chocolate Cheesecake, my comfort food. I’m pretty sure I just flunked an exam, which practically guarantees I flunk the course, which puts en-route of the ass-kicking of the century from my parents. Well, they’re not going to actually kick ass, like Emmett (haha), more like, lecture me until the end of the century. Sigh! By the way, this chapter isn’t supposed to end on a dramatic note! You guys really shouldn’t worry or think drama is going to happen with Emmett’s ass-kicking… it’s just business, in Emmett’s case. Oh man, I love him. He’s one of my fav characters to write. By the way, the next chapter, as of now, is going to be the Big Finale! Then after that will be the Epilogue. Goodness, I’m so sad and excited to write it at the same time! As always, I hope this wasn’t so long and you’re just like cut the blah blah blah, get on with the next chapter! I will! I’m going as fast as I can, haha! Love you guys and thank you for the kick-assreviews! They kick-ass harder than Emmett! I think I’ve used exclamations and the word kick-ass too much! I think I’ll stop! Have a great one :)

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Chapter: 21

Disclaimer: I still don’t own anything, got it?

I looove you guys, and how much you adore this fic! It makes it even more enjoyable for me to write. I’m so sad it’s come to an end. It’s been almost a year since I’ve started it, though, and I need to get a-cracking on my other projects! Thank you for all the support!

P.S. I passed. I PASSED! Just barely. But I’m so unbelievably happy. Thanks for all the best wishes, you guys! I want to give you all gigantic hugs and Edward Cullen.

Ear Candy:

Boston - Augustana

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Twenty-One: Finally

Emmett did not kill Jacob. No, but he hurt him pretty badly. Emmett received a year’s ban from the pancake house and a promise from Jacob never to return to Forks again. Which was a crying shame, really, since Forks is a beautiful place to visit.

I didn’t think that Jacob would ever agree to staying away, being stubborn as I knew him, but I guess he really did change. But that didn’t matter. I knew that even though he became a better person, he could never completely erase the physical and emotional pain he inflicted upon me. It would just become a part of me; a part of me that I had to get used to. But I was done being sad.

Emmett gave Jacob a black eye before his cell phone rang, his ringtone a blaring, fast-beat rock song. Jacob held his hands to his face, and I rushed over, trying to attend in any way possible. My face was red, partially furious that Emmett would actually hurt someone and not listen to me, and partially scared and embarrassed, scared that this act of violence would unleash the Jacob I knew, the Jacob that acted up when he was angry.

But he didn’t, he simply sat there, looking at me through his good eye, whimpering, “I’m sorry, Bella. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” I didn’t know whether if he was genuinely sorry or if he was just afraid that Emmett would spring out of nowhere and attack him again, but the anger in me immediately melted away and I crouched before him, my own face sad. The look on his face was different, yet the same from all the ones I had known.

Customers spilled out of the diner and onto the scene, staying as far away as they could from the newly-aggravated Emmett, speaking furiously into his phone, not a single hair on his head touched, his shirt not even crumpled. The strong, violent Jacob I knew was nowhere to be seen.

One of the diner ladies, whom I recognized as Mrs. Hardwicke, rushed to my side, holding an ice-pack immediately to Jacob’s face. “Don’t worry, honey, I’ll take care of it,” she murmured to me, shaking her head. “Kids these days…” she turned to glare at Emmett for a moment, who flipped his phone shut and muttered, “Shit!”

“You’re banned, young man!” the manager shook his finger at Emmett, advancing toward him as the crowd looked on. “You may not come within 20 feet of this property, you hear me? If I have to get me a court order, then God help me so be it!” Emmett blinked at him and shrugged. To me, he said, “Get in the car, Bella, we have to leave. Hurry.”

I trusted Emmett, but I wasn’t just about to leave Jacob wounded and run away with the convict. Or maybe I was. I stared at Jacob as Emmett headed to the driver’s door of his Jeep. “Do you want your ring back?” I asked him. Jacob shook his head. “Naw, keep it. It’s yours.” The corners of my mouth turned up, just a bit. I knew I would never keep the ring, but it was nice of him to offer. “Take care of yourself, alright?”

“How can you just leave with him? Aren’t you afraid?” Jacob asked as I turned to leave. Funny thing was I asked myself the same question when Jacob had one of his violent attacks before, in the past. And the answer was always the same. “No. I trust him.”

I ran to the passenger’s side, threw myself into the cab and slammed the door. Jacob’s eyes held mine as Emmett reversed the car. He stuck his head out the window. “That was for Rosalie!” he yelled, before sneaking a quick glance at me. “And for B.S.! See ya!”

-

As we drove away, I looked through the mirror to make sure Jacob was able to get up; to make sure that he was alright. I sighed and turned around. “Hello, stranger,” I half-smiled at Emmett. Emmett glanced at me. “Are you sad?” he asked bluntly as he pulled onto the highway. I shook my head slowly, and then shrugged. “I don’t know,” I murmured. “It’s just that I always wondered how things would be like when he came back. I was always so curious about him, and now I’m just leaving him there on the dirt-paved road.”

Emmett rolled his eyes. “He was a jerk to you, alright? It should be easier to leave a jerk than to stay with one.” I laughed shakily. I turned my attention to slightly more important matters. “What’s going on? Why do we have to leave so quickly?”

Emmett sighed. “Alice dispatched me to go and get you. We were so scared that you ran away with him, you know?” I gulped. Run away with Jacob? Been there, done that.

“I wouldn’t do something like that,” I told him. “But did Alice and Rosalie and Jasper really let you go, knowing that you would just kick Jacob’s ass?”

Emmett laughed. “I think that’s what they wanted.” I snorted.

“Anyway, they knew I drove the craziest and would do anything at any circumstances to go get you,” Emmett continued. “Plus, they needed to stay so they could stall.”

“Stall? Why?”

Emmett sighed again. “Bella, have you seriously forgotten what today is? What’s supposed to be happening today?” I shook my head. My mind drew a blank.

“Carlisle and Esme are supposed to leave today,” Emmett replied, taking a look at the clock on the dashboard. “They’re supposed to leave for the airport in twenty-five minutes. Their flight doesn’t leave for quite some time, but Esme likes to be early. That’s why I’m driving as fast as I am.”

“No more time for getting friendly,” I sighed.

I looked out the windshield, and my stomach leapt. He was right—we were driving at an insanely fast speed, and I immediately gripped the arm rest. “I completely forgot about them leaving,” I said uneasily, my eyes wide, desperately trying to calm down. Emmett looked at ease, but as soon as he saw my horror-struck face, slowed down.

“Bella… there’s something else,” Emmett continued gently. I stared at him, my eyes still wide, and my brain began whirling. “What is it now?” I asked him uneasily, waiting to take a bullet to the gut.

“Edward is going with them.”

“What?”

Emmett took a deep breath and began to explain. “Look, things didn’t go as everyone thought. Edward is leaving with his parents—it was all decided last night. He’s going back to Chicago already.”

I felt like my heart really did slow down, instead of speeding up. I felt an ache in it that just hurt too much for my heart to quicken whenever I heard Edward’s name. I understood why we had to go back to the house so quickly—I would want to be there too if my best friend was leaving practically all the way across the country. And Edward and I had grown close.

“That’s not all,” Emmett continued, and I began to grow tired of the elation and surprises.

“Emmett, you should just tell me everything in one go instead of waiting for my reaction,” I told him, my voice worn. “I should be quite predictable by now.” Emmett smiled and shook his head.

“Bella, Edward is in love with you. You two need to be together.”

“Emmett, this really is getting old. I know where it’s going, and it’s not going to work.”

“It’s true though.”

“Stop.”

“He broke up with Tanya.”

I blinked. He broke up with Tanya? He broke up with Tanya? For a moment, a fleeting moment, even though I knew it meant nothing, I couldn’t help but feel shivers run down my spine. What did this mean? Nothing, of course. If they didn’t work out, that was their business…

“Don’t tell me you’re not happy about this,” Emmett looked genuinely concerned. I lay my head against the window, water droplets still fresh on his Jeep, and stared out into the gloom. We were almost home, and all the pieces would fall in place. Everything could be as it was supposed to be. I glanced at Emmett. “I don’t know why I should be happy about one of my friends’ newly-single status,” I replied, knowing in my heart that I felt a moment, a small fraction of hope. Emmett groaned a frustrated groan. “Well, everything should work out soon. We’re almost there.”

“So is that was what Alice wanted us home quickly for, right? To see them off?” Emmett half-shrugged. “Yes, I’m the one to drop them off at the airport. And we wanted to make sure you were alright, too. Carlisle and Esme, even though you haven’t known each other for long, they were just as concerned as we were. And… so was Edward.”

I looked at Emmett emotionlessly, prompting him to continue. “Look, he was just as clueless about the whole thing as we were. But opinions started to form, and some of us thought that you ran away with him.”

I turned away, feeling humiliated, not daring to question who the suspicious ones were. Emmett shook his head. “But of course, we didn’t think it for very long. Alice and I made sure that they knew you were coming back as soon as Alice dialed your number.”

“But Carlisle and Esme… they wanted to maybe stick around a little longer, just until you came, to see if you were alright. Needless to say we took the opportunity to stall them.”

My forehead creased into a frown. I was upset that I had made them concerned, but surprised and even guiltily pleased that they cared about me. I touched my head to the cool window again and kept it there, letting the coldness numb my suddenly aching head.

Jacob’s face appeared in my mind, and he opened his mouth and whispered, Go, go now Bella. The past is in the past. And then he turned and ran away, off into the woods, but I tried to catch up, but I decided to stop, and the thing was I wanted to stop, I didn’t even want to follow him, and instead of his name I called Edward’s, and he didn’t come, didn’t come at all, until he appeared and whispered my name, but then ran away too, and then I lay on the wet ground, the brown crunchy leaves swirling around me as the wind blew—

“Bella, Bella wake up. We’re here.” I blinked my eyes open to reveal the house. I could see Rosalie getting into her BMW, with—to my surprise—Carlisle and Esme in tow. And there was Alice, talking animatedly to… Edward, who was leaning against his Volvo, arms crossed.

All parties immediately looked at the Jeep as we pulled in, and a lump appeared in my throat. Tears suddenly welled in my eyes, and I shut them furiously to keep them there. Emmett gently patted my shoulder, and got out of the car. I followed suit, but I knew I could’ve stayed in the Jeep all day if I wanted to.

Alice danced toward me, her eyes wide and serious. “Oh, Bella…” I stared at her wordlessly, wondering if she would continue, wondering if she would explain what was going on. At that moment, Emmett turned to wave at Rosalie as she pulled out of the driveway, honking as she disappeared out of sight.

Alice led us to Edward, whose eyes held a sort of misery and confusion. I folded my arms uncomfortably as he unfolded his own. “I beat up Jacob Black,” Emmett said proudly. I couldn’t help but slip a hysterical giggle through my lips. Alice and Edward looked from me to him, startled. Alice glanced at me, and I shrugged.

“You did?” Edward asked conversationally. “I thought Bella was…”

I shook my head immediately. “I wanted nothing more to do with him than receive a little clarification on some issues.” I scolded myself for sounding so stupid. I usually spoke a little too formally when I was extremely nervous. I also had the habit of interrupting people when often; I didn’t even know just what they were going to say…

“I think you two need to talk to each other,” Alice piped in, her face serious, excitement in her eyes. Emmett nodded. I bit my lip nervously. Needless to say, I was scared. “Rosalie took Carlisle and Esme out for a quick brunch, so you should have time. Esme was only too happy to comply.” Edward cursed under his breath.

“What’s there to talk about?” I asked, my voice trembling. “Alice, you really freaked me out saying that we had to get home right away. I thought somebody was hurt.” Alice shrugged, a sheepish smile on her face.

“H-Honestly, it’s come across as a bit of a shock to know that you’re leaving already, Edward. I’m sorry to hear that,” I began after an awkward silence between all of us. Alice clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes as she started toward the house, Emmett following, throwing one last disbelieving glance my way. I stared down at the ground, my arms still crossed, scraping the gravel with my sneaker. Edward had his hands stuffed into his coat pockets.

“I-I don’t know what else to say,” I murmured, still not wanting to look at him. “I mean, we’ve been good friends, and I’m glad things have turned the way they have.”

Edward stared at me, his green eyes still holding confusion. “You are? Because I’m not,” he told me simply, shaking his head. I looked up at him, my heart beginning to beat wildly as I took in his hair, the shape of his jaw, the way he stared at me, the ghostly, heartbroken look I knew I had carried before.

“Why do you say that?” I asked him. Edward laughed a rueful, cold laugh. “Bella, do you think that I’m happy we’ve had to play our little game of cat and mouse? It’s gone on longer than I can bear. And one of its solid foundations has been miscommunication; misunderstanding. Quite frankly, all of it has been killing me.” I had never heard the strange tone he used.

“It hasn’t exactly been easy for me, either,” I said, my voice rising as his did. “It’s been hard enough for me, having old wounds be closed and then reopened and then left exposed. And worse, it’s been hard especially when I thought I was over it all, and ready, ready to be with someone again, and have those taken away from me because of the circumstances.”

“I guess you’re right; I really don’t have anyone to blame but myself,” Edward said, shaking his head. “Bella, I can’t stand this anymore. I can’t stand this game we’ve been playing.”

“Edward, this just isn’t the right time,” I whispered. “And please, don’t blame yourself. We’ve been through this—I can’t be with you, I just can’t.”

“And why not?”

I felt like I was repeating the same conversation. Except this time this time, he hadn’t left me broken, damaged for good. He had actually healed me, but exposed me to different types of emotions, ones I wasn’t sure I liked.

“Because… you just broke up with Tanya, and I-I’m not ready.”

“Bella, I don’t think you see yourself clearly. You are ready. You have been ready for the longest time, and it’s not fair to have made you wait as long as you did. I’ve seen the change in you, from someone who looked so lost, lonely, fragile to someone so strong, fearless, confident…”

I laughed. “You must be blind. I haven’t seen that at all.” But I was lying. I was losing this argument—I had even told Jacob myself that I had changed. I was no longer this fragile, broken girl who had appeared on the doorstep of the house recently vacated by my father. I had grown to love and trust and become myself again with all the people in it, but Edward, especially.

“Tanya was a mistake,” Edward said, shaking his head. “I don’t hate her. She’s not a terrible person—on the contrary, she’s very charming. We just weren’t supposed to be together. And we weren’t fooling anybody. It sure wasn’t what I thought it would be. And I wasn’t helping our relationship either, by being madly in love with you.”

My heart clenched, my stomach tying up into knot after knot as I felt the breath being knocked out of me. Edward saying he loved me gave me the most exhilarating feeling, that adrenaline rush when I was doing something so out of character, yet I could still recognize myself.

“Then, then why did you stay with her as long as you did?” I asked him, my voice streaked with pain and tears. Everything hurt now—or was it joy? It was sick to be happy right now, happy that someone else’s relationship had failed.

“Because, Bella, do you think I’ve been in many relationships?” Edward asked me, his voice struggling to stay calm while still trying to make me understand, and the desperation he had that I comprehend what he was saying. “And as I’ve said before, you’re not the only one with a past. I don’t want to be a monster. I don’t want to leave someone for my own selfish desires. I didn’t want to leave Tanya because I thought she loved me, I thought she needed me. I thought I loved her. I was so intent on being with her, trying to make things work because I thought it was what I wanted for a long time. I didn’t think it was my right to just leave her. But obviously, things became clearer, and I realized…”

“It was you, Bella. It was always you.”

I was crying now. There was no way to face it—Edward Cullen was here, right in front of me, professing everything he wanted for me, for us, and I could do nothing but try to fight it, hopelessly fight it. I still couldn’t believe it, and the reality of it all brought me to my knees. Edward quickly crouched down to support me, murmuring in my ear, “Bella, from the moment I saw you, I knew there was something there. Sure, I didn’t know it was love, but I knew we would be great friends.”

“Stop,” I whispered, my voice trembling still. I felt my wet eyelashes trying to blink back the tears. “Stop it, Edward, I—”

“What is it?” he asked, interrupting me. “Why are you so afraid?”

“I’m not afraid,” I murmured, staring up at him, trying to control myself from the sob in my chest, the pain inflicted on each word I spoke. “I just, I don’t know…”

“You don’t need to fight it… I’m not going to force you into a relationship. I just have to get this out in the open so that we wouldn’t have to know… what could’ve been…” Edward’s voice trailed off as he heard my chest heave another sob, and the silence between us.

“Would you believe it,” I said finally, and it hurt to speak, “That maybe, just maybe, I saw the connection between us too? But I can’t just let myself fall into this kind of situation again, because you saw where it got me.”

“Have you ever thought that I was different?” Edward replied. “That I’m not Jacob Black; that I would never lead you into that kind of situation. I would never hurt you, Bella, I fear too much of becoming a monster to do that.”

“Stop it,” I repeated, “Stop thinking that for even one second you could be a monster. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I don’t deserve you.”

Edward stared at me in disbelief. “You don’t deserve me?” he asked, his tone disapproving. “On the contrary, Bella. It’s the complete opposite.”

“Tanya is the perfect girl for you,” I said to him, no longer sobbing, but my eyelashes were still wet. I looked hopelessly into his eyes. “She’s smart, pretty, sophisticated, poised, charming; she’s everything a guy could want. Why did you buy her a ring if you weren’t so committed? I saw you—I wouldn’t have felt so much… so much pain if I hadn’t been sure that day that you wanted to marry her.”

Edward stared back at me, his face seeming to understand now. “I wasn’t getting her an engagement ring. Remember when Esme told me she had a surprise for me? Well, she discovered my mother’s ring in their parents’ old attic. She was so excited to give it to me; and I was only too happy to receive it. I went to the jeweler’s to have it restored. For a split second, I thought of giving it to Tanya. But I couldn’t stop picturing you wearing it. It basically sealed the deal for me. I knew that I was hopelessly, madly, irreversibly in love with you.”

“You’re doing it again,” I whispered as the tears fell from my eyes.

“What?”

“Making me cry. Making my heart melt into mush with all these things you’re saying,” I whispered. Edward laughed, pushing the hair out of my face. “Look, Bella, that night at the restaurant… I decided to take Tanya there so she wouldn’t have an outrageous fit on me when we broke up. I was breaking up with her that night. And then I saw you with Mike Newton, and I felt violently ill, upset, angered at the thought of seeing you with him. Also, today, with Jacob… I was going to explain everything to you, but when I found that he was in town, I thought you were too far gone now… and so I decided to go back to Chicago.”

“It was a pity date.”

“It didn’t seem that way.”

“Edward, don’t forget that it wasn’t one-sided love. Seeing you with Tanya tore me up inside more than I thought was possible. I am still in love with you, Edward Cullen.” And that was it. He leaned over and kissed me, and I can safely say now that it was the best kiss of the seventeen—almost eighteen—years that I’ve lived. Better than any times Jacob had kissed me—the kiss with Edward sent my head spinning, my heart thumping, my physical being falling

Falling

Falling

I broke away from him, murmuring “I kind of knew I was ready. After the confrontation with Jacob, I knew deep down that I could move on, and it was kind of a final salute, you know?” Edward laughed, pressing his lips against mine one more time before saying, “You’re mine, Bella Swan. After a whole summer of ups and downs…”

I coughed loudly. “My days of being owned are over.” Edward froze at his mistake, and I laughed. “But we’re together now. Finally.” Edward stood up, offering me his hand, and I stood, holding still as he leaned in to kiss me one more time. But I couldn’t help myself—I wrapped my arms around him and threw myself into the kiss, and he broke into laughter.

“Thanks for killing the mood,” I said, pretending to be hurt.

“You’re welcome.”

The cloud thundered once again, and I knew, in moments, we would be soaked. But there was always a bit of time before the rain to see the lightning, to hear the thunder. It was so metaphoric, how quickly things could happen. All the pieces for Edward and I had fallen into place so easily, it was so easy to forgive each other. But that part of me had been restored again, I could use it properly, and I could easily lend my trust to Edward, who I knew would do everything in his power not to hurt me. And how did I know? We build that trust, it wasn’t over nothing. Although through the circumstances, our relationships, everything, we already had that starting friendship, that starting foundation.

“Edward,” I whispered into his ear, “Why me, why me out of all the other girls who have tried to get a date with you?”

“Because,” Edward sighed, as if he had made his point painfully clear before, “You’ve confused me, you’ve been a mystery, and you’ve always been so unpredictable. You’re imperfectly perfect for me, Isabella Swan.”

“Please don’t leave,” I said to him, looking back down at our intertwined hands. “Not so soon. Not already.”

Edward ran a hand through his hair. “Of course not. I’m sure Carlisle and Esme will understand…”

I wrapped my arms around his neck. I just couldn’t stand to be away from him now. I always had to be closer, closer than the last movement. I had already fallen, and here I was, caught but the person that taught me to jump, just fall.

And there was the person that told me to fall. Alice was standing on the porch, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. “Guys, come inside,” she called out to us, her voice undeniably shaky. “It’s going to rain any minute now.” I grinned at her. I had so much to be thankful for and so many people to be thankful for—I would forever be in their debt.

Taking one hand and wrapping the other around my waist, we walked back to the house. The rain started to fall for real now. And it was, in my opinion, just like a curtain falling to signal the next act. The summer was already ending, but for me, the real story was just beginning.

-

I’m kind of against putting an author’s note here, but I just wanted to let you all know I’ll be releasing my newest fic sometime this month. I’m thinking of releasing the Vampire one than the All-Human one. Please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading! :)

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Chapter: 22

Learning To Fall

A Twilight fanfic by Starfire Star

Epilogue: A Catch

It’s my birthday, September 13th. I am sitting at my keyboard, typing away on one of my assignments, while my roommate Angela ponders the latest box of chocolate and card that arrived at our door an hour before. She is tearing open the box, and her eyes are sparkling. She holds out the box to me, saying, “Hey, it’s your birthday! You can eat whatever you want.” I shake my head—most of the chocolates are fruit-flavoured.

“Oh my goodness, Bella! I swear I’ve never been on a date before. Not even in high school—I wasn’t much of a social butterfly. And now, here, I go on one date and already I’m getting chocolate!” Angela sounds as if she’s close to tears. She falls back onto her bed, completely smitten, and I feel so happy for her. She always told me of stories in high school, where she was labeled one of the wallflowers, and it was true—here at UCLA, her life did a complete turnaround.

“I think I’m in love with Ben,” she confides in me, pushing up her rose-coloured glasses. “This has never happened to me. I honestly cannot believe it… maybe fairytales really do happen…” She sits up abruptly, a look of horror on her face. “I’m so sorry!” she apologizes to me, and I frown as I prop my elbow on the desk and put my head on it.

“Why are you sorry?” I ask, confused. She sighs. “I keep talking about him, and it could make you feel sad about Edward…” I laugh, and suddenly a look of admiration crosses her face. “Don’t worry,” I reassure her. “Everything’s fine. I’m not sad one bit.”

“Good,” Angela grins, “Because we are going out clubbing tonight! It’s your birthday, and we should celebrate, whether we’re experienced club-goers or not.”

I frown at her. “We’re not even of age. That’s a stupid idea!”

-

Alice is supposed to arrive at one o’clock. We’re scheduled to go out for lunch, and then Alice will treat me to ‘some shopping, because you know how much you love it!’, and then a movie. Alice also, as Angela told me later, was enthusiastic about the club idea. She had already made the arrangements for Angela and me to get fake IDs. Alice already had one. She had also already booked a room at the club.

But first we must get some studying done. Angela and I both have tests in three days, and neither of us is willing to let our grade drop for a one-night-only clubbing on a whim. Angela lies on her stomach on the bed, textbook open, and I could tell she’s absorbing every word. I, on the other hand, am having far more difficulty.

I had never made birthdays a big deal in the past, and today, was no different. The only different fact was that Alice was flying in to see me. I couldn’t conceal my excitement—I am jittery, and it shows. Finally, I stand up, stretch, shut my books, and ask Angela if she wants anything from Starbucks. Angela looks up from her phone, on which she is texting, and shakes her head. “You go ahead and get whatever you want,” she says to me, a hint of a smile on her face, and turns back to texting. “I don’t feel the need to take a break just yet.”

I nod and just as I am about to open the door, a man delivery man is there, carrying an enormous bouquet of flowers. “Angela!” I call over my shoulder as the man seems to be struggling with his clipboard and pen. “I think you have another bouquet here for you.” The man makes a gesture with the pen and says from behind the bouquet, trying to peek around it, “I’m afraid, not, miss. Are you Isabella Swan?”

“Yes,” I reply, astonished as I take the pen from him and sign off on the clipboard. “These are from you. Special delivery, all the way from New Hampshire. Enjoy!” He hands me the bouquet and I am having just a bit of trouble with it. I hurriedly place it on the desk next to the doorway and Angela jumps off her bed, excited.

“These are beautiful! Freesia, lilac, roses…” She murmurs as I take the card placed inside the bouquet and read it.

“To Bella—have an amazing eighteenth birthday. We’re sorry we weren’t there to celebrate it with you. And we’re sorry we didn’t send two bouquets. All our love, Jasper & Rosalie,” I read out loud. I am such a softie—my body feels warm and a lump appears in my throat. I miss them so much.

“You have amazing friends,” Angela remarks as she looks at the card. She gestures to the photos on my desk—photos that were taken on a beach and some at the house the week before we all left for our respective colleges. Angela and I automatically walk over to them to admire them once more. There’s the photo of Rosalie and I—not exactly looking like the best of friends, but smiling nonetheless. We are on the beach, and sitting on two beach chairs. Rosalie looks stunning—her blonde hair is radiant—but I don’t look too bad myself. My cheeks have colour.

We look at the others—Emmett and I making a funny face at the camera in front of the house, Jasper and I sitting at the table eating breakfast. And then there’s me and Edward, his arms wrapped around me as the picture is taken on the roof of the house…” Tears already brim my eyes, and I scold myself.

Angela and I silently look at the last photograph, the one of all of us—we are perfectly posed—the girls are sitting while the guys are standing behind us. We are smiling, picture-perfect smiles, while I knew we were all trying to suppress tears and sadness. It was our last day together.

“Bella,” Angela says, arm around my shoulder, “You shouldn’t feel sad!” I guess she noticed the tears. “It’s your birthday!”

“I’ll cry if I want to,” I joke, and Angela gives me a playful shove. “Go out and get a cup of Joe, for goodness sakes. I don’t want tears here.” I laugh a shaky laugh and soon am out the door. I stream past the bulletin board laden with ads for missing items, jobs, tutors, and parties. I am walking down the street, walking so quickly, but feeling as if I couldn’t get to Starbucks fast enough. But I turn the corner and see the familiar sign. I am relieved. I am so occupied with getting in the door that I don’t see a tall guy carrying a cup of coffee, leaving the shop, and bump into him.

“I am so sorry!” I apologize, looking first at his shirt to make sure that he hadn’t spilled anything. And then I hear a chuckle. I look up and Emmett is grinning at me, and I throw my arms around him. “Emmett!” I shout, and he just laughs even harder. “You look stressed, and it’s your birthday,” he comments before I could get to more serious matters. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at school? Aren’t you busy?” Emmett grins even wider and shakes his head.

Alice strides out the door, wearing sunglasses, her black hair short and layered, and is wearing a yellow dress and leggings. She looks absolutely amazing, and is texting on her cell phone in one hand, carrying a cup of tea in the other. “Emmett, I told you you’re not here to hit on girls,” she says without even looking up. “And I don’t think Rose would appreciate it.” We gape at her for a minute before she looks up, sees me, and shrieks. “Bella!”

“Alice!”

I reach over and hug her small figure. She grins at me and takes her sunglasses off. “I’ve been dying to wear this stuff for months. I finally have the opportunity,” she sings to me, and I laugh. “Happy Birthday!” they both chorus, and I am smiling so hard my face hurts.

They usher me inside and I order the cheapest thing, as I have been ever since I arrived, despite Emmett and Alice’s protests to treat me. We sit at a table and they are smiling so wide and abnormally that I look at them strangely.

“Guys,” I say to them, glancing back and forth, “Stop that. It’s freaking me out.”

“We’re just happy to be here, honestly,” Emmett says, throwing his hands up. I give him a suspicious eye before turning to Alice. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Emmett being here and all, but I thought you were flying here alone.”

“Why fly why you can just drive?” Alice asks me, sipping her tea. “I didn’t want to waste money on a plane ticket. And I don’t exactly like taking my Porsche out, and Emmett wasn’t busy anyway. We decided to take his Jeep…”

“Ah,” I nod. Alice and Emmett glance at each other before glancing back at me. “Are you sure this is okay? Are you sure you’re not sad?” Alice asks me, her eyes wide. I shake my head and roll my eyes. “Honest, guys, why would I be sad on my birthday? Especially when two of my favourite people in the world are here?”

“Well,” Emmett says, “Because Edward—” Alice nudges him quickly before he can continue. “It’s no big deal,” I shrug, staring at my coffee. “I’ve made it clear that it’s not a big deal, right?” Alice and Emmett are silent. I sigh. Way to kill the mood. But Emmett winks at a passing blonde in a short skirt and Alice hits him on the head. “Hey!” Emmett yelps in protest. I laugh, and suddenly the mood is lifted.

“You and Rosalie…”

“Hey,” Emmett says, shrugging. “We’re taking things slow. Besides, does this really count as anything when she looks like Rose…?”

“Speaking of which…” Alice whips out her phone and checks her messages. “None from Jasper,” she sighs. Emmett takes out his own phone, and returns a missed call from Rosalie. “Hey, babe…” he says as soon as she answers. I can’t help but try to think of other things, besides my own misery. I couldn’t check my own phone because I left it in the dorm room. Alice flips her phone shut and smiles at me, saying, “We’re going to buy you a hot outfit, whether you like it or not. Or at least, I am.” She winks. My stomach sinks.

“You guys… I’ve been meaning to ask…” I am more anxious now; my stomach is becoming a pit of darkness. Alice and Emmett watch me as I bite my lip. “How’s the house?” I finally ask. Alice and Emmett glance at each other. They do not live in the boarding house anymore; they live in a small apartment in Seattle.

“I’ll understand if you guys haven’t seen it in awhile, you do live in Seattle, it’s just that… Charlie told me he plans to rent it out to tourists in the area.”

Alice nods. “We miss it. We’ve only been down for a weekend. He and Helena are doing pretty well, actually. Nothing’s really changed. It’s only been a little over two weeks since we all left.”

“Bella… by the way, Helena isn’t pregnant,” Emmett tells me. “Alice happened to ask her out of the blue when we stayed at the house. Thank God Helena wasn’t offended, though. Alice can be so blunt.”

Alice rolls her eyes. “Charlie tells me Mike Newton still pines for you?”

“Can we not start on that? I wish I hadn’t given him my email.”

-

Hours later, I am sitting at the small desk in me and Angela’s dorm room, and am being primped and fussed over within an inch of my life. I have to admit, I’m not exactly crazy about the process. I’m not exactly crazy about the rest of my birthday. We did not have a chance to go to the movies because Alice insisted on going from store to store, picking out clothes, then shoes, then make-up, then a bag… Alice is working on my hair and Angela is applying some foundation to my face. Angela looks about as confused as I am as Alice gives her instructions. We stare at each other in the mirror while Alice curls my hair and give each other panicked looks. After a moment, we both crack up.

Emmett is at a gym working out, Alice said, because he felt the need after a couple of hours in a car. She frowns as she applies some mousse to my hair, and glares at the door as someone knocks on it. Angela leaves to answer it, and opens the door to reveal Rosalie and Jasper, looking a bit lost but relieved as they see our shocked faces.

Alice lets out a yelp and drops my hair, running to Jasper and throwing her arms around him. Jasper looks slightly embarrassed, and Rosalie steps in the door cautiously, giving me an uncertain smile. I smile back. “Happy birthday,” she greets me, and she looks amazing. I am still shocked. I couldn’t believe that they had flown all the way here for my birthday.

“Thank you so much, Rose. You didn’t have to come all the way out here for my birthday…”

Rosalie laughs and shakes her head. “I came here to make sure Emmett—to make sure that you had an amazing birthday, with all of us here to celebrate it.” She seems to regret what she said. “I mean…” I shake my head. “Don’t. It’s fine.”

Alice is still hugging Jasper, and Angela asks, “Um, do you two need a private moment…?” Alice laughs and shakes her head. Jasper looks embarrassed, but pleased nonetheless. “Happy birthday, Bella,” he says over Alice’s shoulder. “I see you received the flowers.” I grin and Alice grabs his hand and leads him away, saying, “Rose, finish Bella’s hair, won’t you?”

Rose nods. I introduce her to Angela and Angela proceeds to ask her how going to school in New York is like. Rose shrugs. “It isn’t as thrilling and exciting to me since I’ve lived there my whole life, but I do enjoy being back after the summer.”

“Is anyone hungry? I sure am,” Angela says suddenly, finishing off the eye shadow on my eyes and picking up her cell phone. “I’m going to phone for a pizza. Anyone want anything special?” We shrug, saying anything would be fine. Angela realizes she does not have the number to the pizza place. I don't either and she goes into the hallway to check the Yellow Pages.

As Angela shuts the door, Rosalie says casually, “So Greg called me.”

I look at her in the mirror, shocked. “What happened?”

“He says that things are rocky with his wife… he wanted me to meet him. I refused, obviously,” Rosalie says, clicking her tongue. “But I don’t know if I should tell Emmett, or not, because I know it would just make him upset if I told him. But then he might feel even more offended by me not telling him, and so forth.”

“You should tell him. I think Emmett will be upset, but he’ll be happier that you trust him enough to tell him. Plus, he knows you would never go back to Greg,” I reply. Rosalie sighs and nods.

Alice dances in, happily praising my ‘make-over’, Rosalie looking satisfied at her job. I wonder why Alice did not say anything about my face already. Angela hadn’t finished, and I wonder why Alice did not bite her head off. Instead, Alice simply picks up a tube of lip gloss and applies it to my lips, and does something to them after I complain that they’re too shiny for my taste. Rosalie laughs, and Jasper comes in, guitar strapped onto his back.

“You look beautiful,” Jasper agrees, and I thank him with a smile. As always, he is carrying a book under his arm. I wonder if he will come to the club with us. I wonder how long everyone will stay. I worry about where everyone will sleep. Suddenly a funny look crosses Jasper’s face. He is still in the doorway, and he looks behind him anxiously. “You stink, man,” Jasper says and frowns. A grumble from the hallway tells me Emmett has returned.

Rosalie’s eyes widen as Emmett comes in, takes his gym bag, and heads for the shower. Angela looks alarmed, and Rosalie looks outraged. “Who the hell do you—” she begins.

“Oh, hey baby.”

“What do you mean, ‘hey baby’?” Rosalie asks in disbelief. “Are you kidding me, Emmett? Aren’t you even happy that I’m here?”

“I am happy. I’m just going to take a shower and then be happy. I feel pretty disgusting right now.” Jasper laughs and Alice looks at Rosalie. Rosalie looks as if she is trying to calm down. Emmett goes into the washroom and Jasper looks uncomfortable coming in. I assure him he’s allowed, and he comes in to look at the photos on my desk. He smiles fondly, looking at a picture of him, Alice and me, him playing the guitar, Alice looking absolutely awe-struck, and me, staring out into the sky.

“Don’t you miss it?” Rosalie asks him as she catches him looking. Jasper nods. “I do, although it’s been hard to think of anything else while studying...” his gaze wanders over to Alice, who is at my laptop, checking her email.

“Bella,” Jasper says to be quietly, so quietly that I didn’t even notice he was talking to me until a moment later. I look at him and say, “Yes?”

He does not say a word. He takes his guitar out and plays me his acoustic rendition of “Happy Birthday”. It sounds beautiful—his voice is amazing, listening to it live. Alice watches interestedly between typing on the laptop. Her eyes twinkle every time they meet Jasper, and I can’t help but feel slightly disheartened. But as the song ends, I smile and we all burst into applause. “Thank you,” I say to Jasper, and I go over to him and give him a hug.

At that moment, Emmett comes out of the bathroom, dressed and bathed, and I can smell his cologne. Rosalie stares at him with an indecipherable expression, and as I look at her, I realize she is wearing a short dress under the knee-length pea coat. Emmett grins at her, and Rosalie suddenly says, “Emmett and I will go on ahead and take a cab to the club. We’ll meet you there.”

“Okay,” Alice agrees. “Make sure you ask for the room under the reservation, Swan, so that…” Rosalie nods hurriedly and she and Emmett escape the tiny dorm, Emmett winking at us as he follows Rosalie out the door.

Alice laughs and checks her make-up in the mirror. I wonder where Angela is, she must have finished ordering the pizza by now. Alice and Jasper do not seem to notice how long she is gone. But then, as soon as I think to ask Alice, Angela comes into the room, looking slightly harried.

“Bella…” she begins nervously. “I hope you don’t mind, but can Ben come to your birthday?” Seeing Angela’s hopeful face, I agree. “Of course. Is he going to come here, or…?”

“Actually, he’s already headed down there,” Angela admits. “By the way, pizza should come in about…”

“It’s taking too long,” Alice interrupts. “Maybe we should just cancel it. We should be leaving soon, in any case. You’ll be able to grab something on the way.” Angela bites her lip and nods. Jasper goes downstairs to hail a cab while Alice and Angela gather the things they’d need. I grab my own too-expensive purse and stuff some money, keys and phone in there. Alice thrusts a compact in there as well. We do a quick sweep of the dorm to make sure there are no safety hazards (upon insistence of Angela) and we turn off the lights. Alice is talking on her phone and Angela leads the way down the stairs, when I realize I do not have my ID.

“I’ll just go back upstairs for a second,” I say to Angela and Alice. “Go on ahead, I’ll be quick, I promise.” I realize that in order to get out of going to the club, I should have not remembered. But it is too late. Alice and Angela just smile and nod and I dash upstairs, opening the door and turning the lights on. I shut the door behind me as I make my way to my nightstand, searching the little card with my face and info on it. Someone knocks on the door, and it must be Angela or Alice. They must have forgotten something too.

But then a voice calls, “Pizza delivery!”

I sigh. I thought Alice had already cancelled it when she was talking on her phone. I throw the door open, saying, “We cancelled it…”

And come face to face with him.

My stomach immediately moves around and my heart leaps. “You’re not the pizza delivery boy,” I breathe, and his crooked grin makes my face burst into flames. “Hey, that was my line from the very beginning,” he says to me.

He is dressed in suit and is looking amazing and charming and handsome and perfect. “Edward,” I murmur as he comes in the door, immediately wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me. “How on earth did I deserve this?”

“It’s your birthday; I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he replies, taking a hold of my face and kissing me again. I eagerly press myself against him, and he chuckles. “Bella… you look… so…” he doesn’t finish as I press my lips against his and pull him back, forcing him to come into the dorm.

We are moving backwards, and I feel as if I can’t kiss him enough. But stupid, stupid me, I left my bag on the ground and I trip over it and we are falling but Edward catches me. I stare into his green eyes and grin. “Nice catch.”

“Thanks.”

“I missed you, you know,” I remark. He chuckles again, pushing a lock of hair out of my face. “I email you every day. Plus, I was up on the phone with you at 1 o’clock in the morning just to wish you a happy birthday.”

“I know,” I say and clutch his shirt. I pull myself closer to him. Funny, it’s exactly how I felt like when I was in love with Jacob. I don’t make comparisons, anymore. Because now, this love with Edward, it’s more mature, and it suits me exactly right. We fit like two puzzle pieces in a puzzle. It is complete, even though he lives practically across the country. I find myself always missing him, but I also know how to stand on my own.

“Should we be heading over to this club?” Edward asks me hesitantly after a moment of silence. I contemplate, and say, “I don’t really want to. Do you…?” Edward shakes his head. “It’s your birthday. All that counts is I am with you. And to tell you the truth, I’m not too crazy about the whole club idea.” I laugh, and I pull him onto the bed and he kisses me again, his lips trailing down to my neck and up again. I giggle like an immature tween and feel stupid doing so.

“What’s so funny?” Edward murmurs. “Nothing,” I cough out, and he suddenly gets off the bed. “Hey,” I complain. “Come back. Do you want me to tell you why I was laughing?” Edward shrugs and reaches into his jacket pocket. “I’m just getting the first part of your birthday present. I was also going to get you flowers but…” His eyes trail toward the large bouquet on my desk.

“It’s a gift from Jasper and Rosalie. It must’ve cost a lot,” I admit, and Edward reassures me that it’s okay. “You know, that’s practically nothing compared to the gifts they’ve showered their friends in the past.”

“Alice must’ve given them the memo.”

“I know you don’t like gifts, but don’t worry, I didn’t spend a lot of money on mine,” Edward says. I groan inwardly. “You don’t have to; really.” Edward shakes his head. “Too bad, Bella. I already spent a lot of time on it.”

He holds out a burnt CD in its jewel case and I take it, flipping it over in my hands and checking to see who the artist is. I give up and pop it into the CD player; the room fills with the sounds of a piano. It takes a moment for me to realize track one is Edward playing his song for me, and to my surprise, my eyes do not fill with tears. Instead, I fall onto the bed and Edward wraps an arm around my shoulders and I wrap my arms around him and am perfectly happy. “Thank you,” I whisper. He just grins and nods.

After a moment of content silence, I say, “Edward—this gift is enough.”

“No—I have another one for you,” Edward disagrees.

“Please—it’s fine, really.”

“Oh, you don’t have to accept it. Not right away.” I narrow my eyes in suspicion. What is he talking about?

Edward reaches into his pocket and produces a black velvet box. He does not get down on one knee. Before he even says a word, I let out a small moan. Oh no… this was exactly how Jacob proposed to me…

“Please don’t do this… not like this…” I say to him as he opens the box. Edward looks at me and says, with a slightly perplexed expression, “Oh, I’m not proposing to you.”

I stare at him. “You’re not?”

“No… this ring should be yours, Bella. As long as you have my heart it will always be yours,” I sink with relief and glance at the ring in this hand. It is beautiful. It has a large oval face with many diamonds on it—timeless, one could say. “It was my mother’s. This was the one I was having restored. You don’t need to wear it,” Edward adds as I gawk at it, touching the diamonds with one hand.

“It’s absolutely amazing… are you sure you want me to have it?” I ask him timidly. Edward nods. “You thought I was proposing to you…” he says, and it sounds like a statement more than a question. He looks at me for a moment and asks, “Do you want to be proposed to?”

“What?”

“Do you?”

“No—I mean, do you? Well, of course not, I mean, we’re so young but there was a ring and…” my voice trails off. “I always think of proposals when I see rings.” I look down at my hands. “Sorry.”

Edward chuckles. “You don’t have to be sorry.” I look at the ring and he takes it out of the box and slides it onto my finger. “So this is like ‘insurance’?” I ask him, and he chuckles again. “I suppose you can view it that way.”

“I don’t know if I’ll wear this all the time… I mean, it’s a little… ostentatious, don’t you think?” Edward shrugs. “Fine by me. My mother did have a taste for really gaudy jewelry.”

I kiss him again. My body is shaking, and Edward tells me casually that he feels guilty for leaving everyone at the club. After another moment, we decide to take a cab and head over to the club location. After moving past the dancing bodies and already-drunk girls, we find the room. Everyone looks from me, grinning, and then to Edward, shocked looks on their faces.

“What are you doing here?” Emmett demands while Jasper grins. We head over to the table where Edward hugs Rosalie and Alice and I notice a waitress has been following us with shots.

She sets them down on the table and I ask Alice, “Where’s Angela and Ben?”

“They went off together,” Alice replies with a shrug. “Someplace. Have a shot!”

I pick up a shot glass of an unfamiliar substance and we raise them into the air. “A toast, a toast!” Emmett chants. Alice grins and clears her throat.

“To Angela and I, for deciding to do something illegal for Bella’s birthday!” she exclaims, keeping her voice down. “And for getting Bella to actually come out to it!”

“To roommates,” Jasper adds, and I realize my face hurts. I do not think I have stopped smiling since Edward came. He looks at me and grins that crooked smile I will forever love.

“To meeting new people,” Rosalie says.

“To us,” Emmett chimes in. “To us—now and forever.”

“To us,” we all agree. Edward reaches out and holds my hand. We raise our glasses, clink them together, and drink. I am complete.

~The End~

Thank you all so much for the support you’ve given me. It’s been almost a year since I started this story, and I cannot have been more blessed with the reviewers who have stuck by me since the beginning. I will be forever grateful. I wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day and a gigantic teddy bear named Emmett.

xoxo Kim