ENAMORED

PROLOGUE

THEGENTLEFACEONTHEstarchedwhitepillowwaspaleandverystill.Themanlookingdown
at it scowled with unfamiliar concern. For so many years, his emotions had been caged. Tender
feelings were a luxury no mercenary could afford, least of all a man with the reputation of Diego
Laremos.

Butthiswomanwasnostranger,andtheemotionshefeltwhenhelookedatherwerestillconfused.It
hadbeenfiveyearssincehe'dseenher,yetsheseemednottohaveagedaday.Shewouldbetwenty-
sixnow,hethoughtabsently.

Hewasforty.

He hadn't expected her to be unconscious. When the hospital had contacted him, he almost hadn't
come. Melissa Sterling had betrayed him years before. He wasn't anxious to renew their painful
acquaintance,butoutofcuriosityandasenseofduty,he'dmadethetriptosouthernArizona.Nowhe
washere,anditwasnotasubterfuge,atrap,asithadbeenbefore.Shewasinjuredandhelpless;she
wasalive,thoughhe'dgivenherupfordeadallthoselongyearsago.Thecoldemptinessinsidehim
wasgivingwaytomemories,andthathecouldn'tallow.

Heturned,tallanddarkandimmaculateinhischar-coal-graysuit,tostareoutthewindowatthewell-
keptgroundsbeyondthesecond-floorroomMelissaSterlingoccupied.Hehadamustachenowthat
he hadn't sported during the turbulent days she'd shared with him. He was a little more muscular,
older. But age had only emphasized his elegant good looks, made him more mature. His dark eyes
slidtothebed,totheslenderbodyofthiswoman,thisstranger,whohadtrappedhimintomarriage
andthendesertedhim.

Melissawastallforawoman,althoughhetoweredaboveher.Shehadlong,wavyblondhairthathad
oncecurledbelowherwaist.Thathadbeencut,sothatnowitcurvedaroundherwanovalface.Her
eyes were blue-shadowed, closed, her perfect mouth almost as white as her face, her straight nose
barely wrinkling now and again as it protested the air tubes taped to it. She seemed surrounded by
electronicequipment,bywiresthatledtovariousmonitors.

Anaccident,theattendingphysicianhadsaidoveraworse-than-poortelephoneconversationtheday
before.

An airplane crash that, by some miracle, she and the pilot and several other passengers on the
commuterflightfromPhoenixhadsurvived.TheplanehadgonedowninthedesertoutsideTucson,
and she'd been brought here to the general hospital, unconscious. The emergency room staff had
found a worn, carefully folded paper in her wallet that contained the only evidence of her marital
status. A marriage license, written in Spanish; the fading ink stated that she was the esposa of one
Diego Alejandro Rodriguez Ruiz Laremos of Dos Rios, Guatemala. Was Diego her husband, the
physicianhadpersisted,andifso,wouldheauthorizeemergencysurgerytosaveherlife?

Hevaguelyrecalledaskingifshehadnootherrelatives,butthedoctorhadtoldhimthatherpitifully

fewbelongingsgavenoevidenceofany.SoDiegohadlefthisGuatemalanfarminthehandsofhis
hiredmilitiaandflownhimselfallthewayfromGuatemalaCitytoTucson.

He'dhad no sleepin the pasttwenty-four hours. He'd beensmoking himself todeath and reliving a
tormentingpast.

Thewomaninthebedstirredsuddenly,moaning.Heturnedjustashereyesopenedandthenclosed
quicklyagain.Theyweregray.Bigandsoft,adelicatecontrasttoherblondfairness;hergrayeyes
weretheonlyvisibleevidenceofMelissa'sGuatemalanmother,whosebetrayalhadbroughtanguish
anddishonortotheLaremosfamily.

His black eyes ran slowly over her pale, still features and he wondered as he watched how he and
Melissahadevercometothis....

CHAPTERONE

ITWASAMISTYRAIN,butMelissaSterlingdidn'tmind.

GettingsoakedwasasmallpricetopayforafewpreciousminuteswithDiegoLaremos.

Diego's family had owned the finca, the giant Guatemalan farm that bordered her father's land, for
fourgenerations.

AnddespitethefactthatMelissa'slatemotherhadbeenthecauseofabitterfeudbetweentheLaremos
familyandtheSterlings,thathadn'tstoppedMelissafromworshipingthesonandheirtotheLaremos
name.Diegoseemednottomindheryouthfuladoration,orifhedid,hewaskindenoughnottomock
herforit.

Therehadbeenastormthenightbefore,andMelissahadriddendowntoMamaChavez'ssmallhouse
tomakesuretheoldwomanwasallright,onlytofindthatDiego,too,hadbeenworriedabouthisold
nurseandhadcometocheckonher.MelissalikedtovisitherandlistentotalesofDiego'syouthand
hearsecretlegendsabouttheMaya.

Diegohadbroughtsomemelonsandfishfortheoldwoman,whosefamilytreedatedbacktothevery
beginningoftheMayanempire,andnowhewasescortingMelissabacktoherfather'shouse.

Herdarkeyeskeptrunningoverhislean,fitbody,ad-miringthewayhesatonhishorse,thethick
darkness of his hair under his panama hat. He wasn't an arrogant man, but he had a cold, quiet
authorityabouthimthatborderedonit.Heneverhadtoraisehisvoicetohisservants,andMelissa
hadonlyseenhiminonefight.Hewasadignified,self-containedmanwithoutanapparentweakness.
Buthewasmysterious.Heoftendisappearedforweeksatatime,andoncehe'dcomehomewithscars
onhischeekandalimp.Melissahadbeencurious,butshehadn'tquestionedhim.Evenattwenty,she
wasstillshywithmen,andespeciallywithDiego.He'drescuedheroncewhenshe'dgottenlostinthe
rainforestsearchingforsomeoldMayanruins,andshe'dlovedhimsecretlyeversince.

"I suppose your grandmother and sister would die if they knew I was within a mile of you," she
sighed,brushingbackherlongwavyblondhairassheglancedathimwithahesitantsmilethatwas
echoedinthesoftgrayofhereyes.

"Theybearyourfamilynogreatlove,thatistrue,"heagreed.Thedistantmountainswereabluehaze
in front of them as they rode. "It is difficult for my family to forget that Edward Sterling stole my
father's novia on the eve of their wedding and eloped with her. My father spoke of her often, with
grief.Mygrandmotherneverstoppedblamingyourfamilyforhisgrief."

"Myfatherlovedher,andshelovedhim,"Melissadefended."Itwasonlyanarrangedmarriagethat
yourfatherwouldhavehadwithher,anyway,notalovematch.Yourfatherwasmucholderthanmy
mother,andhe'dbeenawidowerforyears."

"YourfatherisBritish,"hesaidcoldly."Hehasneverunderstoodourwayoflife.Here,honorislife

itself.

Whenhestoleawaymyfather'sbetrothed,hedishonoredmyfamily."DiegoglancedatMelissa,not
adding that his father had also been counting on her late mother's inheritance to restore the family
fortunes.Diegohadconsideredhisfather'sattituderathermercenary,buttheoldmanhadcaredabout
SheilaSterlinginhiscoolway.

DiegoreinedinhismountandstaredatMelissa,takinginherslenderbody,injeansandapinkshirt
unbuttonedtotheswellofherbreasts.Sheattractedhimfarmorethanhewantedtoadmit.Hecouldn't
allowhimselftobecomeinvolvedwiththedaughterofthewomanwho'ddisgracedhisfamily.

"Your father should not let you wander around in this manner," he said unexpectedly, although he
softenedthewordswithafaintsmile."Youknowtherehasbeenincreasedguerrillaactivityhere.Itis
notsafe."

"Iwasn'tthinking,"shereplied.

"You never do, chica" he sighed, cocking his hat over one eye. "Your daydreaming will be your
downfalloneday.

Thesearedangeroustimes."

"Alltimesaredangerous,"shesaidwithashysmile."ButIfeelsafewithyou."

Heraisedadarkeyebrow."Andthatisthemostdangerousdaydreamofall,"hemused."Butnodoubt
youhavenotyetrealizedit.Come;wemustmoveon."

"In just a minute." She drew a camera from her pocket and pointed it toward him, smiling at his
grimace. "I know, not again, you're thinking. Can I help it if I can't get the right perspective on the
painting of you I'm working on? I need another shot. Just one, I promise." She clicked the shutter
beforehecouldprotest.

"This famous painting is taking one long time, nina,"he commented. "You have been hard at it for
eightmonths,andnotoneglimpsehaveIhadofit."

"Iworkslow,"sheprevaricated.Inactualfact,shecouldn'tdrawastraightlinewithoutaruler.The
photowastoaddtohercollectionofpicturesofhim,tositandsighoverintheprivacyofherroom.
Tobuilddreamsaround.BecausedreamswereallshewaseverlikelytohaveofDiego,andsheknew
it. His family would oppose any mention of having Melissa under their roof, just as they opposed
Diego'sfriendshipwithher.

"Whendoyougoofftocollege?"heaskedunexpectedly.

Shesighedasshepocketedthecamera."Prettysoon,Iguess.Ibeggedoffforayearafterschool,just
tobewithDad,butthisunrestismakinghimmorestubbornaboutsendingmeaway.Idon'twantto
gototheStates.Iwanttostayhere."

"Your father may be wise to insist," Diego murmured, although he didn't like to think about riding
aroundhisestatewithnochanceofbeingwaylaidbyMelissa.He'dgrownusedtoher.Toamanas
worldly and experienced and cynical as Diego had become over the years, Melissa was a breath of
spring air. He loved her innocence, her shy adoration. Given the chance, he was all too afraid he
might be tempted to appreciate her exquisite young body, as well. She was slender, tall, with long,
tanned legs, breasts that had just the right shape and a waist that was tiny, flaring to full, gently
curvinghips.Shewasn'tbeautiful,butherfaircomplexionwasexquisiteinitsframeoflong,tangled
blondhair,andhergrayeyesheldakindofserenityfarbeyondheryears.Hernosewasstraight,her
mouthsoftandpretty.Intherightclothesandwiththerighttraining,shewouldbeauniquehostess,a
wifeofwhomamancouldbejustifiablyproud....

ThatthoughtstartledDiego.HehadhadnointentionofthinkingofMelissainthoseterms.Ifheever
married, it would be to a Guatemalan woman of good family, not to a woman whose father had
alreadyoncedisgracedthenameofLaremos.

"You'realwaysathomethesedays,"Melissasaidastheyrodealongthevalley,withthehugeAtitlan
volcanointhedistanceagainstthegreenjungle.ShelovedGuatemala,shelovedthevolcanosandthe
lakesandrivers,thetropicaljungle,thebananaandcoffeeplantationsandthespreadingvalleys.She
especiallylovedthemysteriousMayanruinsthatonefoundsounexpectedly.Shelovedthemarketsin
the small villages and the friendly warmth of the Guatemalan people whose Mayan ancestors had
onceruledhere.

"The finca demands much of my time since my father's death," he replied. "Besides, nina, I was
gettingtoooldfortheworkIusedtodo."

Sheglancedathim."Younevertalkedaboutit.Whatdidyoudo?"

Hesmiledfaintly."Ah,thatwouldbetelling.Howdidyourfatherfarewiththefruitcompany?Were
theyabletorecompensehimforhislossesduringthestorm?"

Atropicalstormhaddamagedthebananaplantationinwhichherfatherhadasubstantialinterest.This
year'scrophadbeenatremendousloss.LikeDiego,though,herfatherhadotherinvestments—such
as the cattle he and Diego raised on their adjoining properties. But as a rule, fruit was the biggest
money-maker.

Sheshookherhead."Idon'tknow.Hedoesn'tsharebusinesswithme.IguesshethinksI'mtoodumb
tounderstand."Shesmiled,hermindfarawayonthesmallbookshe'dfoundrecentlyinhermother's
trunk."Youknow,Dadissodifferentfromthewayhewaswhenmymotherknewhim.He'ssosedate
andquietthesedays.

Mamawrotethathewasalwaysinthethickofthingswhentheywerefirstmarried,verydaringand
adventurous."

"Iimagineherdeathchangedhim,littleone,"hesaidabsently.

"Maybeitdid,"shemurmured.Shelookedathimcuriously."Apollosaidthatyouwerethebestthere
wasatyourjob,"sheaddedquickly."Andthatsomedayyoumighttellmeaboutit."

Hesaidsomethingunderhisbreath,glaringather."MypastissomethingIneverexpecttosharewith
anyone.

Apollohadnorighttosaysuchathingtoyou."

Hisvoicechilledherwhenithadthaticilyformalnoteinit.Sheshiftedrestlessly."He'saniceman.
HehelpedDadroundupsomeofthestraycattleonedaywhentherewasastorm.Hemustbegoodat
hisjob,oryouwouldn'tkeephimon."

"Heisgoodathisjob,"hesaid,makingamentalnotetohavealongtalkwiththeblackAmericanex-
military policeman who worked for him and had been part of the band of mercenaries Diego had
oncebelongedto."Butitdoesnotincludediscussingmewithyou."

"Don't be mad at him, please," she asked gently. "It was my fault, not his. I'm sorry I asked. I know
you'reverycloseaboutyourprivatelife,butitbotheredmethatyoucamehomethattimesobadly
hurt."Sheloweredhereyes."Iwasworried."

He bit back a sharp reply. He couldn't tell her about his past He couldn't tell her that he'd been a
professionalmercenary,thathisjobhadbeenthedestructionofplacesandsometimespeople,thatit
hadpaidexceedinglywell,orthattheonlythinghehadputatriskwashislife.Hekepthisclandestine
operations very quiet at home; only the government officials for whom he sometimes did favors
knewabouthim.Asforfriendsandacquaintances,itwouldn'tdoforthemtoknowhowheearnedthe
moneythatkeptthefincasolvent.

He shrugged indifferently. "No importa" He was silent for a moment, his black eyes narrow as he
glancedather.

"Youshouldmarry,"hesaidunexpectedly."Itistimeyourfatherarrangedforanovioforyou,nina."

ShewantedtosuggestDiego,butthatwouldbecourtingdisaster.Shestudiedherslenderhandsonthe
reins."Icanarrangemyownmarriage.Idon'twanttobepromisedtosomewealthyoldmanjustfor
thesakeofmyfamilyfortunes."

Diegosmiledatherinnocence."Oh,nina,theidealismofyouth.Bythetimeyoureachmyage,you
will have lost every trace of it. Infatuation does not last. It is the poorest foundation for a lasting
relationship,becauseitcanexistwheretherearenocommoninterestswhatsoever."

"Yousoundsocold,"shemurmured."Don'tyoubelieveinlove?"

"LoveisnotawordIknow,"herepliedcarelessly."Ihavenointerestinit."

Melissa felt sick and shaky and frightened. She'd always assumed that Diego was a romantic like
herself. But he certainly didn't sound like one. And with that attitude he probably wouldn't be
prejudiced against an arranged, financially beneficial marriage. His grandmother was very
traditional,andshelivedwithhim.Melissadidn'tlikethethoughtofDiegomarryinganyoneelse,but
hewasthirty-fiveandsoonhehadtothinkofanheir.Shestaredatthepommelonhersaddle,idly

movingthereinsagainstit."That'saverycynicalattitude."

Helookedatherwithraisedblackeyebrows."YouandIareworldsapart,doyouknowthat?Despite
yourGuatemalanupbringingandyourexcellentSpanish,youstillthinklikeanAnglo."

"Perhaps I've got more of my mother in me than you think," she confessed sheepishly. "She was
Spanish,butsheelopedwiththebestmanatherownwedding."

"Itisnothingtojokeabout."

Shebrushedbackherlonghair."Don'tgocoldonme,Diego,"shechidedsoftly."Ididn'tmeanit.I'm
reallyverytraditional."

Hisdarkeyesranoverher,andtheexpressioninthemmadeherheartrace."Yes.OfthatIamquite
certain," he said. His eyes slid up to hers again, holding them until she colored. He smiled at her
expression.Helikedherreactions,sovirginalandflattering."Evenmygrandmotherapprovesofthe
veryfirmhandyourfatherkeepsonyou.Twenty,andnotoneeveningalonewithayoungmanoutof
thesightofyourfather."

Sheavoidedhispiercingglance."Notthatmanyyoungmencomecalling.I'mnotanheiressandI'm
notpretty."

"Beautyistransient;characterendures.Yousuitmeasyouare,pequena,"hesaidgently."Andintime
theyoungmenwillcomewithflowersandproposalsofmarriage.

Thereisnorush."

Sheshiftedinthesaddle."That'swhatyouthink,"shesaidmiserably."Ispendmywholelifealone."

"Lonelinessisafirewhichtemperssteel,"hecounseled.

"Benefitfromit.Indaystocomeitwillgiveyouaserenitywhichyouwillvalue"

Shegavehimasearchinglook."I'llbetyouhaven'tspentyourlifealone,"shesaid.

Heshrugged."Nottotally,perhaps,"hesaid,givingawaynothing."ButIlikemyowncompanyfrom
timetotime.Ilike,too,thesmellofthecoffeetrees,thegracefulsweepoftheleavesonbananatrees,
the sultry wind in my face, the proud Maya ruins and the towering volcanoes. These things are my
heritage. Your heritage," he added with a tender smile. "One day you will look back on this as the
happiesttimeofyourlife.Don'twasteit."

Thatwaspossible,shemused.ShealmostshiveredwiththedelightofhavingDiegosoclosebeside
herandthesolitudeoftheopencountryaroundthem.Yes,thiswasthegoodtime,fulloftherichness
oflifeandlove.Neverwouldshewishherselfanywhereelse.

Heleftheratthegatethatledpastthesmallkitchengardentothewhitestuccohousewithitsredroof.
Hegotdownfromhishorseandliftedherfromthesaddle,hisleanhandsfirmandsureathersmall

waist.Foronesmallsecondheheldhersothathergazewaslevelwithhis,andsomethingtouchedhis
blackeyes.Butitwasgoneabruptly,andheputherdownandsteppedback.

Sheforcedherselftomoveawayfromthetangyscentofleatherandtobaccothatclungtohiswhite
shirt.Sheforcedherselfnottolookwhereitwasunbuttonedoveratannedolivechestfeatheredwith
black hair. She wanted so desperately to reach up and kiss his hard mouth, to hold him to her, to
experienceallthewonderofherfirstpassion.ButDiegosawonlyayounggirl,notawoman.

"I will leave your mare at the stable," he promised as he mounted gracefully. "Keep close to home
fromnowon,"

headdedfirmly."Yourfatherwilltellyou,asIalreadyhave,thatitisnotsafetoridealone."

"Ifyousayso,SenorLaremos,"shemurmured,andcurtsiedimpudently.

Once he would have laughed at that impish gesture. But her teasing had a sudden and unexpected
effect. His blood surged in his veins, his body tautened. His black eyes went to her soft breasts and
lingeredtherebeforehedraggedthembacktoherface."Hastaluego!"hesaidtersely,andwheeled
hismountwithoutanotherword.

Melissastaredafterhimwithherheartinherthroat.Eveninherinnocence,she'drecognizedthehot,
quickflashofdesireinhiseyes.Shefeltthelookallthewaytohertoesandburnedwithanurgeto
runafterhim,tomakesureshehadn'tmisunderstoodhisreaction.TohaveDiegolookatherinthat
waywastheculminationofeverydreamshe'deverhadabouthim.

Shewentintothehouse,tinglingwithbanked-downexcitement.Fromnowon,everydaywasgoing
tobeevenmorelikeasurprisepackage.

Estrella had outdone herself with supper. The small, plump Ladina woman had made steak with
peppersandcheeseandsalsa,withseasonedricetogowithit,andcoolmelonforasidedish.Melissa
huggedherasshesniffedthedeliciousaromaofthemeal.

"Delicioso"shesaidwithagrin.

"Steakistoputonabruisedeye,"Estrellasniffed."Thebestmeatisiguana."

Melissamadeaface.'I'deatsnakefirst,"shepromised.

Estrellagrinnedwickedly."Youdid.Lastnight."

Theyoungerwoman'seyeswidened."Thatwaschicken."

Estrellashookherhead."Snake."ShelaughedwhenMelissamadeathreateninggesture."No,no,no,
youcannothitme.Itwasyourfather'sidea!"

"Myfatherwouldn'tdosuchathing,"shesaid.

"Youdonotknowyourfather,"theLadinawomansaidwithatwinkleinhereyes."Getoutnow,let

mework.GoandpracticeyourpianoorSenoraLopezwillbeincensedwhenshecomestohearyou
onFriday."

Melissasighed."Isupposeshewill,thatpatientsoul.Shenevergivesuponme,evenwhenIknowI'll
neverbeabletorunmycadenceswithoutslippingupontheminorkeys."

"Practice!"

Shenodded,thenchangedthesubject."Daddidn'tphone,Isuppose?"sheasked.

"No."EstrellaglancedatMelissawithoneofherblackeyesnarrowed."Hewillnotlikeyouriding
withSenorLaremos."

"HowdidyouknowIwas?"Melissaexclaimed.Theseflashesofinstantknowledgestillpuzzledher
astheyhadfromchildhood.Estrellaalwaysseemedtoknowthingsbeforesheactuallyheardabout
themformally.

"That,"theLadinawomansaidsmugly,"ismysecret.Outwithyou.Letmecook."

Melissawent,hopingEstrellawasn'tplanningtoshareherknowledgewithherfather.

AndapparentlytheLadinawomandidn't,butEdwardSterlingknewanyway.Hecamebackfromhis
business trip looking preoccupied, his graying blond hair damp with rain, his elegant white suit
faintlywrinkled.

"LuisMartinezsawyououtridingwithDiegoLaremos,"

hesaidabruptly,withoutgreetingher.Melissasatwithherhandspoisedoverthepianointhespacious
livingroom."Ithoughtwe'dhadthisconversationalready."

Melissadrewasteadyingbreathandputherhandsinherlap."Ican'thelpit,"shesaid,givingupall
attemptsatsubterfuge."Isupposeyoudon'tbelievethat."

"I believe it," he said, to her surprise. "I even understand it. But what I don't understand is why
Laremosencouragesyou.Heisn'tamarryingman,Melissa,andheknowswhatitwoulddotometo
seeyoucompromised."

Hisfacehardened."Whichiswhatdisturbsmethemost.

ThewholeLaremosfamilywouldlovetoseeushumbled.

Don'tcutyourlegandinviteasharktokissitbetter,"headdedwithafaintattemptathumor.

She threw up her hands. "You won't believe that Diego has no ulterior motives, will you? That he
genuinelylikesme?"

"Ithinkhelikestheadulation,"hesaidsharply.Hepouredbrandyintoasnifterandsatdown,crossing
hislonglegs."Listen,sweet,it'stimeyouknewthetruthaboutyourhero.It'salongstory,anditisn't

pretty.Ihadhopedthatyou'dgoawaytocollege,andnoharmdone.

Butthisheroworshiphastostop.DoyouhaveanyideawhatDiegoLaremosdidforalivinguntil
abouttwoyearsago?"

Sheblinked."Hetraveledonbusiness,Isuppose.TheLaremoseshavemoney—"

"The Laremoses have nothing, or had nothing," he interrupted curtly. "The old man was hoping to
marrySheilaandgethishandsonherfather'ssupposedmillions.

What Laremos didn't know was that Sheila's father had lost everything and was hoping to get his
handsontheLaremoses'bananaplantations.Itwasacomedyoferrors,andthenIfoundyourmother
andthatwastheendoftheplotting.Tothisday,noneofyourmother'speoplewillspeaktome,and
theLaremosesonlydooutofpoliteness.

Andthegreatironyofitisthatnoneofthemknowthetruthabouteachother'sfamilies.Therenever
wasanymoney—onlypipedreamsaboutmergers."

"Then,iftheLaremoseshadnothing,"Melissaventured,

"whydotheyhavesomuchthesedays?"

"BecauseyourpreciousDiegohadalotofgutsandfewequalswithanautomaticweapon,"Edward
Sterlingsaidbluntly."Hewasaprofessionalsoldier."

Melissadidn'tmove.Shedidn'tspeak.Shestaredblanklyatherfather."Diegoisn'thardenoughtogo
aroundkillingpeople."

"Don't kid yourself," came the reply. "Haven't you even realized that the men he surrounds himself
with at the Casa de Luz are his old confederates? That man they call First Shirt, and the black ex-
soldier,ApolloBlain,andSemsonandDrago...allofthemareex-mercenarieswithnocountrytocall
theirown.Theyhavenofutureexcepthere,workingfortheiroldcomrade."

Melissa felt her hands trembling. She sat on them. It was beginning to come together. The bits and
piecesofDiego'slifethatshe'dseenandwonderedaboutweremakingsensenow—aterriblekindof
sense.

"Iseeyouunderstand,"herfathersaid,hisvoiceveryquiet."Youknow,Idon'tthinklessofhimfor
whathe'sdone.Butapastlikehiswouldberoughforawomantotake.Becauseofwhathe'sdone,
he's a great deal less vulnerable than an ordinary man. More than likely his feelings are locked in
irons. It will take more than an innocent, worshiping girl to unlock them, Melissa. And you aren't
evenintherunninginhismind.He'llmarryaGuatemalanwoman,ifheevermarries.Hewon'tmarry
you.Ourunfortunateconnectioninthepastwillassurethat,don'tyousee?"

Hereyesstungwithtears.Ofcourseshedid,buthearingitdidn'thelp.Shetriedtosmile,andthetears
overflowed.

"Baby."Herfathergotupandpulledhergentlyintohisarms,rockingher."I'msorry,butthere'sno
futureforyouwithDiegoLaremos.Itwillbebestifyougoaway,andthesoonerthebetter."

Melissa had to agree. "You're right." She dabbed at her tears. "I didn't know. Diego never told me
abouthispast.Isupposehewassavingitforalastresort,"shesaid,tryingtobringsomelightnessto
the moment. "Now I understand what he meant about not knowing what love was. I guess Diego
couldn'taffordtolethimselfloveanyone,consideringthelineofworkhewasin."

"Idon't imagine hecould," her fatheragreed. He smoothed herhair back. "Iwish your mother was
stillalive.She'dhaveknownwhattosay."

"Oh,you'renotdoingtoobad,"Melissatoldhim.Shewipedhereyes."IguessI'llgetoverDiegoone
day."

"One day," Edward agreed. "But this is for the best, Melly. Your world and his would never fit
together.

They'retoodifferent."

Shelookedup."Diegosaidthat,too."

Edwardnodded."ThenLaremosrealizesit.Thatwillbejustaswell.Hewon'tputanyobstaclesinthe
way."

Melissa tried to forget that afternoon and the way Diego had held her, the way he'd looked at her.
Maybe he didn't know what love was, but something inside him had reacted to her in a new and
differentway.Andnowshewasgoingtohavetoleavebeforeshecouldfindoutwhathefeltorifhe
couldcometocareforher.

Butperhapsherfatherwasright.IfDiegofeltanything,itwasphysical,notemotional.Desire,inits
place,mightbeexquisite,butwithoutloveitwasjustashadow.Diego'spasthadshockedher.Aman
likethat—washeevencapableoflove?

Melissakeptherthoughtstoherself.Therewasnosenseinsharingthemwithherfatherandworrying
himevenmore."HowdiditgoinGuatemalaCity?"sheaskedinstead,tryingtodiverthim.

Helaughed."Well,it'snotasbadasIthoughtatfirst.

Let'seat,andI'llexplainittoyou.Ifyou'reoldenoughtogotocollege,Isupposeyou'reoldenough
tobetoldaboutthefamilyfinances."

Melissasmiledathim.Itwasthefirsttimehe'dofferedthatkindofinformation.Inanoddway,she
feltasifherfatheracceptedthefactthatshewasanadult.

CHAPTERTWO

MELISSAHARDLYSLEPT.ShedreamedofDiegoinaconfusionofgunfireandharshwords,and
shewokeupfeelingthatshe'dhardlyclosedhereyes.

She ate breakfast with her father, who announced that he had to go back into the city to finalize a
contractwiththefruitcompany.

"Seethatyoustayhome,"hecautionedherasheleft."Nomoretete-a-teteswithDiegoLaremos."

"I'vegottopracticepiano,"shesaidabsently,andkissedhischeekashewentoutthedoor."Yoube
careful,too."

He drove away, and she went into the living room where the small console piano sat, opening her
practicebooktothecadences.Shegrimacedasshebegantofumblethroughthenotes,allthumbs.

Herheartjustwasn'tinit,soinsteadshepracticedamuch-simplifiedbitofSibelius,lettingherselfgo
in the expression of its sweet, sad message. She was going to have to leave Guatemala, and Diego.
Therewasnohopeatall.Sheknewinherheartthatshewasnevergoingtogetoverhim,butitwas
onlybeginningtodawnonherthatthefuturewouldbeprettybleakifshestayed.She'dwearherself
out fighting his indifference, bruise her heart attempting to change his will. Why had she ever
imaginedthatamanlikeDiegomightcometoloveher?Andnow,knowinghisbackgroundasshe
did, she realized that it would take a much more experienced, sophisticated woman than herself to
reachsuchaman.

She got up from the piano, closing the lid, and sat down at her father's desk. There were sheets of
white bond paper still scattered on it, along with the pencil he'd been using for his calculations.
Melissapickedupthepencilandwroteseverallinesofbreathlessproseaboutunrequitedlove.Then,
impulsively, she wrote a note to Diego asking him to meet her that night in the jungle so that she
couldshowhimhowmuchshelovedhimuntildawncametofindthem....

Reading it over, she laughed at the very idea of sending such a message to the very correct, very
formalSenorDiegoLaremos.Shecrumpleditonthedeskandgotup,pacingrestlessly.Shereadand
wentbacktothepiano,atealunchthatshedidn'treallytasteandfinallydecidedthatshe'dgomadif
she had to spend the rest of the afternoon just sitting around. Her father had said not to leave the
house,butshecouldn'tbearsittingstill.

She saddled her mare and, after waving to an exasperated, irritated Estrella, rode away from the
house and down toward the valley. She wondered at the agitated way Estrella, with one of the
vaquerosatherside,waswaving,butshesoonlostinterestandquickenedherpace.Shedidn'twantto
becalledbacklikeadelinquentchild.Shehadtorideoffsomeofhernervousenergy.

She was galloping down the hill and across the valley when a popping sound caught her attention.
Startled,hermarerearedupandthrewMelissaontothehardground.

Hershoulderandcollarboneconnectedwithsomesharprocks,andshegrimacedandmoanedasshe
triedtositup.

Themarekeptgoing,hermaneflyinginthebreeze,andthatwaswhenMelissasawtheapproaching
horseman,threearmedmenhotonhisheels.Diego!

Shecouldn'tbelievewhatshewasseeing.Itwasunreal,onthiswarmsummerafternoon,toseesuch
violenceinthegrassymeadow.Sothereportsabouttheguerrillasandthepoliticalunrestweretrue.
Sometimes,sofarawayfromGuatemalaCity,shefeltoutoftouchwiththeworld.

Butnow,witharmedmenflyingacrossthegrassyplain,dangerwasalarminglyreal.Herheartran
wildasshesatthere,andthefirsttouchoffearbrushedalongherspine.

Shewasaloneandunarmed,andthethoughtofwhatthosemenmightdotoherifDiegofellcurled
herhair.

Whyhadn'tshelistenedtothewarnings?

Thepoppingsoundcameagain,andsherealizedthatthemenwereshootingatDiego.Buthedidn't
look back. His attention was riveted now on Melissa, and he kept coming, his mount moving in a
weavingpatterntomakelessofatargetforthepistolsofthemenbehindhim.HecircledMelissaand
vaultedoutofthesaddle,somekindofsmall,chubby-lookingweaponinhishands.

"PorDios—"Hedroppedtohiskneesandfiredoffavolleyattheapproachinghorsemen.Thesound
deafenedher,bringingthetasteofnauseaintoherthroatassherealizedhowdesperatethesituation
reallywas."Areyouwounded?"

"No,Ifell.Diego—"

"Silencio!" He fired another burst at the guerrillas, who had stopped suddenly in the middle of the
valley to fire back at him. He pushed Melissa to the ground with gentle violence and aimed again,
deliberatelythistime.Hedidn'twanthertoseeit,butherlifedependedonwhetherornothecould
stophispursuers.Hecouldn'tbearthethoughtofthosebrutalhandsonhersoftskin.

Thefiringfromtheothersidestoppedabruptly.MelissapeekedupatDiego.Hedidn'tlooklikethe
man she knew so well. His deeply tanned face was steely, rigid, his hands incredibly steady on the
smallweapon.

HecursedsteadilyinSpanishashesurveyedhishandiwork,terriblecursesthatshockedMelissa.She
triednottocryoutinfear.Thesmellofgunsmokewasacridinhernostrils,herearsweredeafened
bythesoundofthesmallmachinegun.

DiegoturnedthentosweepMelissaupinhisarms,holdingtheautomaticweaponinthehandunder
herknees.Hegotheroutofthemeadowwithquick,longstrides,hispowerfulbodyabsorbingher
weightasifhedidn'tevenfeelit.Hedartedwithherintothethickjungleattheedgeofthemeadow
andkeptgoing.Overhisshouldershesawthehorsesscatter,twooftheridersbentovertheirsaddles
asifinpain,thethirdonelyingstillontheground.Diego'shorsewaslonggone,likeMelissa's.

Nowthattheyweretemporarilyoutofdanger,reliefmadeherbodylimp.She'dbeenshotat.She'd
actuallybeenshotat!Itseemedlikesomeimpossiblenightmare.ThankGodDiegohadseenher.She
shudderedtothinkwhatmighthavehappenedifthosemenhadcomeuponherandshe'dbeenalone.

"Were you hit?" Diego asked curtly as he laid her down against a tree a good way into the
undergrowth."You'rebleeding."

"I fell off," she faltered, her eyes helpless on his angry face as he bent over her. "I hit...something.
Diego,thosemen,arewefarenoughaway...?"

"Forthemoment,yes,"hesaidshortly."Untiltheygetreinforcements,atleast.Melissa,Itoldyounot
togoridingalone,didInot?"hedemanded.

Hiseyeswereblack,andshethoughtshe'dneverreallyseenhimbefore.Nottherealmanunderthe
lazygoodhumor,thepatientindulgence.Thismanwasastranger.

Themercenaryherfatherhadtoldherabout.Theunmaskedman.

"Whereare your men?"she asked huskily,her body becoming rigidas his leanfingers went to the
frontofherblouseandstartedtounbuttonit."Diego,no!"sheburstoutinembarrassment.

He glowered at her. "The bleeding has to be stopped," he said curtly. 'This is no time for outraged
modesty.Liestill."

While the wind whispered through the tall trees, she fought silently, but he moved her hands aside
withgrowingimpatienceandpeeledtheblouseawayfromtheflimsybrashewaswearing.Hisblack
eyes made one soft foray over the transparent material covering her firm young breasts, and then
glancedathershoulder,whichwasscratchedandbleeding.

"We are cut off," he muttered. "I made the mistake of assuming a few rounds would frighten off a
guerrilla who was scouting the area around my cattle pens. He left, but only to come back with a
dozenorsoofhisami-gos.

Apollo and the rest of my men are at the casa, trying to hold them off until Semson can get the
government troops to assist them. Like a fool, I allowed myself to be cut off from the others and
pursued."

"I suppose you'd have made it back except for me," she murmured quietly, her pale gray eyes
apologeticasshelookedupathim.

"Willyouneverlearntolisten?"heaskedcoldly.Hehadhishandkerchiefatthescrapedplacesnow
and was soothing away the blood. He grimaced. 'This will need attention. It's a miracle that your
breastescapedseveredamage,nina,althoughitisbadlybruised."

Sheflushed,avertinghereyesfromhisscrutiny.Verylikely,awoman'snakedbodyheldnomysteries
forDiego,butMelissahadneverbeenseenuncladbyaman.

Diegoignoredherembarrassment,spreadingthehandkerchiefovertheabrasionsandrefasteningher
blousetoholditinplace.Nothingofwhathewasfeelingshowedinhisexpression,butthesightof
heruntouched,perfectyoungbodywasmakinghimacheunpleasantly.

UntilnowithadbeenpossibletothinkofMelissaasachild.Butaftertonight,he'dneverbeableto
thinkofherthatwayagain.Itwasgoingtocomplicatehislife,hewascertainofit."Wemustgetto
higherground,andquickly.

Iscatteredthem,butdependonit,theywillbeback."Hehelpedherup."Canyouwalk?"

"Ofcourse,"shesaidunsteadily,hereyeswideandcuriousasshelookedatthesmallbulkyweapon
hescoopedupfromtheground.Hehadacartridgebeltaroundhisshoulder,overhiswhiteshirt.

"AnUzi,"hetoldher,ignoringherfascination."AnautomaticweaponofIsraelidesign.ThankGodI
listened to my old instincts and carried it with me this afternoon, or I would already be dead. I am
deeplysorrythatyouhadtoseewhathappened,littleone,butifIhadnotfiredbackatthem..."

"Iknowthat,"shesaid.Sheglancedathim,thenaway,asheledherdeeperintothejungle."Diego,my
fathertoldmewhatyouusedtodoforaliving."

Hestoppedandturnedaround,hisblackeyesintentonhersbecauseheneededtoknowherreactionto
the discovery. He searched her expression, but there was no contempt, no horror, no shock. "To
discourageyou,Ipresume,fromanydeeperrelationshipwithme?"heaskedunexpectedly.

Sheblushedandloweredhergaze."IguessI'vebeenprettytransparentallthewayaround,"shesaid
bitterly."Ididn'trealizeeverybodyknewwhatafoolIwasmakingofmyself."

"Iamthirty-fiveyearsold,"hesaidquietly."Andwomenhavebeen,forgiveme,apermissiblevice.
Yourfaceisexpressive,Melissa,andyourinnocencemakesyouallthemorevulnerable.ButIwould
hardlycallyouafoolforfeelingan—"hehesitatedovertheword"—attraction.

Butthisisnotthetimetodiscussit.Come,pe-quena,wemustfindcover.Wehavelittletime."

It was hard going. The jungle growth of vines and un-derbrush was thick, and Diego had only his
knife, not a machete. He was careful to leave no visible trace of the path they made, but the men
followingthemwerelikelytobeexperiencedtrackers.Melissaknewsheshouldbeafraid,butbeing
with Diego made fear impossible. She knew that he'd protect her, no matter what. And despite the
danger,justbeingwithhimwassheerdelight.

She watched the muscles in his lean, fit body ripple as he moved aside the clinging vines for her.
Once,hisdarkeyescaughthersasshewasgoingunderhisarm,andtheyfellonhermouthwithan
expressionthatmadeherbloodrunwildthroughherveins.Itwasonlyamomentintime,buttheflare
ofawarenessmadeherclumsyandself-conscious.Sherememberedalltoowellthefeelofhishard
fingersonhersoftskinashe'dremovedthebloodandbandagedthescrapes.Shethoughtofthetime
ahead, because darkness would come soon. Would they stay in the jungle overnight? And would he
holdherinthenight,safeinhisarms,againsthiswarmbody?Shetrembledatthedeliciousimage,
alreadyfeelingthemusclesofhisarmsclosingaroundher.

Hepausedtolookatthecompassinthehandleofhisknife,checkinghisbearings.

"Thereareruinsverynearhere,"hemurmured."Withluck,weshouldbeabletogettothembefore
dark."Helookedupattheskies,whichweredarkeningwiththethreatofastorm."Rainclouds,"he
mused."Weshallmorethanlikelybedrenchedbeforewereachcover.Yourfatherisnotathome,I
assume?"

"No,"shesaidmiserably."He'llbeworriedsick.Andfurious."

"Murderously so, I imagine " he said with an irritated sigh. "Oh, Melissa, what a situation your
impulsivenaturehascreatedforus."

"I'msorry,"shesaidgently."ReallyIam."

He lifted his head and stared down into her face with something like arrogance. "Are you? To be
alonewithmelikethis?Areyoureallysorry,querida?"heasked,andhisvoicewaslikevelvet,deep
andsoftandtender.

Her lips parted as she tried to answer him, but she was trembling with nervous pleasure. Her gray
eyesslidoverhisfacelikelovinghands.

"Anunfairquestion,"hemurmured."WhenIcanseetheanswer.Come."

Heturnedawayfromher,hisbodyripplingwithdesireforher.Hewastoohot-bloodednottofeelit
when he looked at her slender body, her sweet innocence like a seductive garment around her. He
wanted her as he'd never wanted another woman, but to give in to his feelings would be to place
himselfatthemercyofherfather'sretribution.Hewasalreadyconcernedabouthowitwouldlookif
theywereforcedtobeddownintheruins.Apolloandtheotherswouldcomelookingforhim,butthe
rainwouldwashawaythetracksandslowthemdown,andtheguerrillaswouldbeinhotpursuit,as
well.Hesighed.Itwasgoingtobedifficult,whicheverwaytheywent.

The rain came before they got much further, drenching them in wet warmth. Melissa felt her hair
plasteredagainstherscalp,herclothingstickingtoherlikeglue.

Herjeansandbootsweresoaked,hershirtliterallytransparentasitdrippedinthepoundingrain.

Diego'sblackhairwaslikeaskullcap,andhisverySpanishfeaturesweremoreprominentnow,his
olive complexion and black eyes making him look faintly pagan. He had Mayan blood as well as
SpanishbecauseoftheintermarriageofhisMadrid-borngrandparentswithnativeGuatemalans.His
highcheekboneshintedathisIndianancestry,justashisstraightnoseandthin,sensuallipsdenoted
hisSpanishheritage.Watchinghim,Melissawonderedwherehehadinheritedhisheight,becausehe
wasastallasherBritishfather.

"There,"hesaidsuddenly,andtheycametoaclearingwhereaMayantemplesatlikeagraysentinel
inthegreenjungle.Itwasonlypartiallystanding,butatleastonepartofitseemedtohavearoof.

Diegoledherthroughthevinedentrance,frighteningawayahugesnake.Sheshuddered,thinkingof

thecomingdarkness,butDiegowaswithher.He'dkeephersafe.

Inside,itwasmustyandsmelledofstoneanddust,butthewallsinonesideoftheruinwerealmost
intact,andtherewereafewtimbersoverheadthattimehadn'tcompletelyrotted.

Melissashivered."We'llcatchpneumonia,"shewhispered.

"Notinthisheat,nina,"hesaidwithafaintsmile.Hemovedovertoavine-coveredopeninginthe
stonewall.

Atleasthe'dbeabletoseethejunglefromwhichthey'djustdeparted.Withasigh,hestrippedoffhis
shirtandhungitoverajuttingtimber,stretchingwearily.

Melissawatchedhim,hergazecaressingthedarklytannedmusclesandthefaintwedgeofblackhair
that arrowed down to the belt around his lean waist. Just looking at him made her tingle, and she
couldn'thideherhelplesslongingtotouchhim.

Hesawherreaction,andallhisgoodintentionsmelted.

She looked lovely with her clothing plastered to her exquisite body, and through the wet blouse he
could see the very texture of her breasts, their mauve tips firm and beautifully formed. His jaw
tautenedashestaredather.

She started to lift her arms, to fold them over herself, because the way he was looking at her
frightenedheralittle.Butheturnedabruptlyandstartedout.

"I'llget some branches,"he said tersely."We'll need something tokeep us fromgetting filthy if we
havetostayhereverylong."

Whilehewasgone,Melissastrippedoffherblouseandwrungitout.Itdidn'thelpmuch,butitdid
remove some of the moisture. She dabbed at her hair and pushed the strands away from her face,
knowingthatshemustlookterrible.

Diegocamebackminuteslaterwithsomewild-bananaleavesandpalmbranchesthathespreadonthe
ground to make a place to sit. He was wetter than ever, because the rain was still coming down in
torrents.

"Ourpursuersaregoingtofindthisweatherdifficulttotrackusthrough,"hemusedashepulleda
cigarettelighterfromhispocketandmanagedtolightasmallcheroot.Heeasedbackononeelbow
tosmokeit,studyingMelissawithintentappreciation.She'dputtheblousebackon,buteventhoughit
wasalittledrier,herbreastswerestillblatantlyvisiblethroughit.

"Iguesstheywill,"shemurmured,answeringhim.

"Itembarrassesyou,nina,formetolookatyousoopenly?"heaskedquietly.

"Idon'thavemuchexperience..."Shefaltered,blushing.

He blew out a thick cloud of smoke while his eyes made a meal of her. It was madness to allow
himselfthatliberty,buthecouldn'tseemtohelphimself.Shewasuntouched,andhereyeswereshyly
worshipful as she looked at his body. He wanted more than anything to touch her, to undress her
slowly and carefully, to show her the delight of making love. His heart began to throb as he saw
imagesofthemtogetheronthemakeshiftbedding,herbodyreceptivetohis,opentohispossession.

Melissawaspuzzledbyhisbehavior.He'dalwaysbeensocorrectwhenthey'dbeentogether,buthe
wasn'tbotheringtodisguisehisinterestinherbody,andthelookonhisfacewasreadableeventoa
novice.

"Whydidyoubecomeamercenary?"sheasked,hopingtodiverthim.

Heshrugged."Itwasaquestionoffinances.Weweredesperate,andmyfatherwasunabletofacethe
degra-dation of seeking work after having had money all his life. I had a reckless nature, and I
enjoyedthedangerofcombat.AfterIservedinthearmy,Iheardofagroupthatneededasmall-arms
expertforsome'interestingwork.'Iapplied."Hesmiledinreminiscence."Itwasanexcitingtime,but
onceortwiceIhadaclosecall.Theothersslowlydriftedawaytootheroccupations,othercallings,
butIcontinued.AndthenIbegantoslowdown,andtherewasamistakethatalmostcostmemylife."
He lifted the cheroot to his lips. "I had enough wealth by then not to mind settling down to a less
demandinglife-style.Icamehome."

"Doyoumissit?"sheaskedsoftly,studyinghishandsomeface.

"On occasion. There were good times. A special feeling of camaraderie with men who faced death
withme."

"Andwomen,Iguess,"shesaidhesitantly,herfacemoreexpressivethansherealized.

Hisblackeyesranoverherbodylikehands,slowandsteadyandfranklypossessive."Andwomen,"
hesaidquietly."Areyoushocked?"

Sheswallowed,loweringhereyes."Ineverimaginedthatyouwereamonk,Diego."

Hefelthimselftauteningashewatchedher,longedforher.Theraincameharder,andshejumpedas
astreakoflightningburstnearthetempleandashudderingthunderclapfollowedit.

"Thelightningcomesbeforethenoise,"heremindedher.

"Oneneverhearsthefatalflash."

"How encouraging," she said through her teeth. "Do you have any more comforting thoughts to
share?"

Hesmiledfaintlyasheputoutthecherootandlaidittooneside."Notforthemoment."

Hetookherbytheshouldersandlaidherdownagainstthepalmsandbananaleaves,hisleanhands
on the buttons of her shirt once more. This time she didn't fight and she didn't protest, she simply

watchedhimwitheyesasbigassaucers.

"Iwanttomakesurethebleedinghasstopped,"hesaidsoftly.Hepulledtheedgesoftheblouseopen
andliftedthehandkerchiefthathe'dplacedoverthecut.Hisblackeyesnarrowed,andhegrimaced.
"Thismayleaveascar,"

hesaid,tracingthewoundwithhisforefinger."Apity,onsuchexquisiteskin."

Herbreathrattledinherthroat.Thetouchofhishandmadeherfeelreckless.Allherburiedlongings
werecomingtothesurfaceduringthisunexpectedinterludewithhim,hisbodyaboveher,hischestas
bareandbrawnyasshe'ddreameditwouldbe.

"I have no healing balm," he said softly, searching her eyes. "But perhaps pequena, I could kiss it
better...."

Evenashespoke,hebent,andMelissamoanedsharplyasshefeltthemoistwarmthofhismouthon
herskin.Herhandsclenchedbesideher,herbackarchedhelplessly.

Startledbysuchapassionatereactionfromagirlsovirginal,heliftedhisheadtolookather.Hewas
surprised, proud, when he saw the pleasure that made her cheeks burn, her eyes grow drowsy and
bright,herlipsparthungrily.Itmadehimforgeteverythingbuttheneedtomakehermoanlikethat
yetagain,toseehereyesasshefeltthefirststirringsofpassioninheruntriedbody.

Thethoughtofherinnocenceandhisresolvenottotouchhervanishedlikethethreatofdanger.

Heslidonehandunderthenapeofhernecktosupportit,hisfingersspreadingagainstherscalpashe
bentagain.

Hislipstouchedhertenderly,histonguelacingagainsttheabrasions,trailingoverhersilkyskin.She
smelledofflowers,andthescentofherwenttohishead.Hisfreehandwentunderherbackandfound
thecatchofherbra,releasingit.Hepulledthestrapsawayfromhershoulderandliftedhergentlyto
easethewispymaterialdownherarmsalongwithherblouse,leavingherbareandshiveringunder
hisquiet,experiencedeyes.

Hehadn'tmeanttoletithappen,buthishungerforherhadburstitsbonds.Hecouldn'tholdback.He
didn'twantto.Shewashis.Shebelongedtohim.

Hestoppedherimpulsivemovementtocoverherselfbyshakinghishead."Thisbetweenuswillbea
secret,somethingforthetwoofusalonetoshare,"hewhispered.

Hisdarkeyeswenttoherbreasts,adoringthem."Suchlovelyyoungbreasts,"hebreathed,bending
towardthem.

"Sosweet,sotempting,soexquisitelyformed..."

HisHpstouchedthehardtipofherbreast,andshewentrigid.Hisarmwentunderhertosupporther
back, and his free hand edged between them, raising sweet fires as it traced over her rib cage and

bellybeforeitwentuptoteaseatthebottomswellofherbreastsandmakeheracheforhimtotouch
hercompletely.Hismoutheaseddownontoherbreast,takingitinside,savoringitswarmsoftnessas
therainpelteddownoverheadandthethunderdrownedoutthethreatoftheworldaroundthem.Their
drenched clothing was hardly a barrier, their bodies sliding damply against each other in the dusty
semidarknessofthedryruin.

Hefeltherbegintomoveagainsthimwithhelplesslonging.Shewasn'texperiencedenoughtohide
herdesireforhimortocurbherheadlongresponse.Hedelightedintheshytouchofherhandsonhis
chest,hisback,inhersoftcriesandmoansashemovedhismouthuptohersfinallyandcoveredher
softlips,pressingthemopeninakissthatdefiedrestraint.

She arched against him, glorying in the feel of skin against wet skin, her bareness under his, the
hardnessofhismusclesgentlycrushingherbreasts.Hernailsdughelplesslyintohisbackwhileshe
felt the hunger in the smoke-scented warmth of his open mouth on hers, and she moaned tenderly
whenshefelttheprobingofhistongue.

He was whispering something in husky Spanish, his mouth insistent, his hands suddenly equally
insistentwithotherfastenings,hardandswiftandsure.

Shestartedtoprotest,buthebrushedhismouthoverhers.

His body was shuddering with desire, and he sat up, his eyes fiercely possessive as he began to
removetherestofherclothing.

"Shhh"hewhisperedwhenshestartedtospeak."Letmetellyouhowitwillbe.Mybodyandyours,"
hebreathed,

"with the rain around us, the jungle beneath us. The sweet fusion of male and female here, in the
Mayanmemory.

Like the first man and woman on earth, with only the jungle to hear your cries and the aching
pleasureofmyskinagainstyours,myhandsholdingyoutomeaswedrowninthefulfillmentofour
desireforeachother."

Thesoftdeepnessofhisvoicedruggedher.Yes,shewantedthat.Shewantedhim.Shearchedashis
handssliddownheryieldingbody,hislipssoftlytouchingherinwaysshe'dneverdreamedof.The
scent of the palm leaves and the musty, damp smell of the ruins in the rain combined with the
excitementofDiego'sfeverishlovemaking.

Shewatchedhimundress,hershynessburiedinthefierceneedforfulfillment,hereyesworshiping
hislean,fitbodyashelaydownbesideher.Heletherlookathim,takingquietprideinhismaleness.
Hecoaxedhertotouchhim,toexplorethehardwarmthofhisbodywhilehewhisperedtoherand
kissed her and traced her skin with exquisite expertise, all restraint, all reason burned away in the
firesofpassion.

Shegaveeverythingheasked,yieldedtohimcompletely.

At the final moment, when there was no turning back, she looked up at him with absolute trust,
absorbingthesuddenintrusionofhispowerfulbodywithonlyasmallgaspofpain,lostinthetender
smileofpridehegaveathercourage.

"Virgin,"hewhispered,hiseyesbrightandblackastheyheldhers.Hebegantomove,veryslowly,
hisbodytremblingwithhisenforcedrestraint."Andsowejoin,andyouarewhollymine.Mi mujer
Mywoman."

Shecaughtherbreathatthesensationshewascausing,hereyesmovingandthendartingaway,her
facesurprisedandlovingandhungryallatthesametime,hereyesfullofwonderastheyliftedback
tohis.

"Hold me," he whispered. "Hold tight, because soon you will begin to feel the whip of passion and
youwillneedmystrength.Holdfast,querida,holdfasttome,givemeallthatyouare,allthatyou
have...adorada"hegaspedashismovementsincreasedwithshockingeffect."Melissamia!"

She couldn't even look at him. Her body was climbing to incredible heights, tautening until the
musclesseemedindangerofsnapping.Shecriedoutsomething,buthegroanedandclaspedher,and
alltoosoonshewasreachingforsomethingthathaddisappearedevenasshesoughttotouchit

Shewept,frustratedandachingandnotevenabletoexplainwhy.

Hekissedherfacetenderly,hishandsframingit,hiseyessoft,wondering."Youdidnotfeelit?"he
whispered,makingherlookathim.

"Itwassoclose,"shewhisperedback,hereyesfrantic."Ialmost...oh!"

He smiled with aching tenderness, his body moving slowly, his head lifting to watch her face. "Ah,
yes,"hewhispered."Here.Andhere...gently,querida.Comeupandkissme,andletyourbodymatch
myrhythm.Yes,querida,yes,likethat,like—"Hisjawclenched.Heshouldn'tbeabletofeelitagain
soquickly.Hewatchedherface,feltherbodyspiralingtowardfulfillment.Evenasshecriedoutwith
it and whispered to him he was in his own hot, black oblivion, and this time it took forever to fall
backtoearthinherarms.

Theylaytogetherinthesoftdarknesswiththerainpeltingaroundthem,sated,exquisitelyfatigued,
hershirtandhispulledoverthemforadampblanket.Hebenttokissherlazilyfromtimetotime,his
lipssoftandslow,hissmilegentle.Forjustafewminutestherewasnopast,nofuture,nothreatof
retribution,nopipertopay.

Melissawasshockedbywhathadhappened,soinlovewithhimthatithadseemedthemostnatural
thing on earth at the time to let him love her. But as her reason came back, she became afraid and
apprehensive.Whatwashethinking,lyingsoquietlybesideher?Washesorryorglad,didheblame
her?Shestartedtoaskhim.

Andthenrealityburstinontheminthecrudestwayofall.Horses'hoovesandloudvoiceshadbeen
drownedoutbythethunderandtherain,butsuddenlyasmallgroupofmenwasinsidetheruin,andat
theheadofthemwasMelissa'sfather.

He stopped dead, staring at the trail of clothing and the two people, obviously lovers, so scantily
coveredbytwoshirts.

"Damnyou,Laremos!"EdwardSterlingburstout."Damnyou,whathaveyoudone?"

CHAPTERTHREE

MELISSAKNEWTHATASLONGasshelivedtherewouldbethehumiliationofthatafternoonin
hermemory.Herfather'soutrage,Diego'stautshoulderingoftheblame,herowntearfulshame.The
menquicklylefttheruinsatEdwardSterling'sterseinsistence,butMelissaknewthey'dseenenough
inthosebriefsecondstoknowwhathadhappened.

EdwardSterlingfollowedthem,givingMelissaandDiegotimetogetdecentlycovered.Diegodidn't
speakatall.Heturnedhisbackwhileshedressed,andthenhegesturedwithcharacteristiccourtesy
forhertoprecedehimoutoftheentrance.Hewantedtospeak,tosaysomething,buthispridewas
laceratedathavingsofarforgottenhimselfastoseducethedaughterofhisfamily'sworstenemy.He
wasappalledathisownlackofcontrol.

Melissawentoutafteronehopefulglanceathisrigid,setfeatures.Shedidn'tlookathimagain.

Herfatherwaswaitingoutside.Therainhadstoppedandhismenwereatarespectfuldistance.

"Itwasn'tallDiego'sfault,"Melissabegan.

"Yes, I'm aware of that," her father said coldly. "I found the poems you wrote and the note asking
Laremostomeetyousothatyoucould—howdidyouputit?—'proveyourlove'forhim."

Diegoturned,hiseyessuddenlyicy,hellishlyaccusing.

"Youplannedthis,"hesaidcontemptuously."Diosmio,andlikeafoolIwalkedintothetrap..."

"HowcouldIpossiblyplanaraidbyguerrillas?"sheasked,tryingtoreasonwithhim.

"Shecertainlyusedittoheradvantage,"EdwardSterlingsaidstiffly."Shewaswarnedbeforesheleft
thehousethattherewastroubleatyourestate,Estrellatoldherassherodeoutoftheyard,andshe
wentinthatgeneraldirection."

Melissadefendedherselfweakly."Ididn'thearEstrella.

Andthepoemsandthenotewerejustdaydreaming...."

"Costlydaydreaming,"herfatherreplied.HestaredatDiego."Nomanwithanysenseofhonorcould
refusemarriageinthecircumstances."

"Whatwouldyouknowofhonor?"Diegoaskedicily.

"You,whoseducedmyfather'swomanawaydaysbeforetheirwedding?"

EdwardSterlingseemedtovibratewithbadtemper."Thathasnothingtodowiththepresentsituation.
I won't defend my daughter's actions, but you must admit, Senor Laremos, that she couldn't have
foundherselfinthispredicamentwithoutsomecooperationfromyou!"

ItwasastatementthatturnedDiego'sbloodmolten,becauseitwasanaccusationthatwasundeniable.
HewasasmuchtoblameasMelissa.Hewastrapped,andhehimselfhadsprungthelock.Hecouldn't
evenlookather.

Thesweetinterludethathadbeentheculminationofallhisdreamsofperfectionhadturnedtoashes.
Hedidn'tknowifhecouldbeartogothroughwithit,butwhatchoicewasthere?Anotherdishonoron
thefamilynamewouldbetoodevastatingtoconsider,especiallytohisgrandmotherandhissister.

"I will not shirk my responsibility, senor,' Diego said with arrogant disdain. "You may rest assured
thatMelissawillbetakencareof."

Melissastartedtospeak,torefuse,butherfatherandDiegogavehersuchvenomouslooksthatshe
turnedawayanddidn'tsayanotherword.

Theguerrillashadbeendealtwith.ApolloBlain,tallandarmedtotheteethattheheadofacolumn
led by the small, wiry man Laremos called First Shirt, was waiting in the valley as the small party
approached.

"Thegovernmenttroopsareatthehouse,boss,"Shirtsaidwithagrin.

Apollo chuckled, his muscular arms crossed over the pommel of his saddle. "Cleaning house, if
you'llforgivethepun.Gladtoseeyou'reokay,bossman.You,too,MissSterling."

"Thanks,"Melissasaidwanly.

"Withyourpermission,Iwillrejoinmymen,"Diegosaidwithcoolformality,directingthewordsto
Edward.

"Iwillmakethenecessaryarrangementsfortheservicetotakeplacewithallduehaste."

"We'llwaittohearfromyou,senor"Edwardsaidtersely.

HemotionedtohismenandurgedhismountintostepbesideMelissa's.

"Idon'tsupposethere'sanyuseintryingtoexplain?"sheaskedmiserably,toosicktoevenlookback
towardDiegoandhisretreatingsecurityforce.

"Noneatall,"herfathersaid."IhopeyouloveLaremos.

You'llneedto,nowthathe'swellandtrulyhamstrung.

He'llhatebothofus,butIwon'tletyoubepubliclydisgraced,evenifitisyourowndamnedfault."

Tearssliddownhercheeks.Shestaredtowardthedistanthousewithasickfeelingthatherlifewas
never going to be the same again. Her hero-worshiping and daydreaming had led to the end she'd
hopedfor,butshehadn'twantedtotrapDiego.She'dwantedhimtoloveher,towanttomarryher.
She had what she thought she desired, but now it seemed that the Fates were laughing at her. She
remembered a very old saying that had never made sense before: Be careful what you wish for,

becauseyoumightgetit

WEEKS WENT BY WHILE MELISSA was feted and given party after party with a stiff-necked
SenoraLaremosandJuana,Diego'ssister,atherside.Theirdisapprovalandfrankdislikehadbeen
madeknownfromtheverybeginning,butlikeDiego,theyweremakingthemostofabadsituation.

Diego himself hardly spoke to Melissa unless it was necessary, and when he looked at her she felt
chilled to the bone. That he hated her was all too apparent. As the wedding approached, she wished
withallherheartthatshe'dlistenedtoherfatherandhadneverleftthehousethatrainyday.

Her wedding gown was chosen, the Catholic church in Guatemala City was filled to capacity with
friendsanddistantkinofboththebride'sandgroom'sfamilies.

Melissa was all nerves, even though Diego seemed to be as nonchalant as if he were going to a
sportingevent,andevenlessenthusiastic.

Diego spoke his vows under Father Santiago's quiet gaze with thinly veiled sarcasm and placed the
ring upon Melissa's finger. He pushed back the veil and looked at her with something less than
contempt,andwhenhekissedheritwasstrictlyforthesakeofappearances.Hislipswereice-cold.
Thenhebowedandledherbackdowntheaisle,hiseyesasunfeelingasthecarpetundertheirfeet.

Thereceptionwasanordeal,andtherewasmusicanddancingthatseemedtogoonforeverbefore
Diego announced that he and his bride must be on their way home. He'd already told Melissa there
wouldbenohoneymoonbecausehehadtoomuchworkandnotenoughfreetimetotravel.Hedrove
herbacktothecasa,wherehedepositedherwithhiscold-eyedgrandmotherandsister.Andthenhe
packedabagandleftforanextendedbusinesstriptoEurope.

Melissa missed her father and Estrella. She missed the warmth of her home. But most of all, she
missed the man she'd once loved, the Diego who'd teased her and laughed with her and seemed to
enjoy having her with him for company when he'd ridden around the estate. The angry,
unapproachablemanshe'dmarriedwasastranger.

ItwasalmostsixweeksfromthedaysheandDiegohadbeentogetherwhenMelissabegantofeela
stirringinside,afrighteningcertaintythatshewaspregnant.Shewasnauseated,notjustatbreakfast
butallthetime.ShehiditfromDiego'sgrandmotherandsister,althoughitgrewmoredifficultallthe
time.

Shespentherdayswanderingmiserablyaroundthehouse,wishingshehadsomethingtooccupyher.
Shewasn'tallowedtotakepartinanyofthehouseworkortositwiththerestofthefamily,whomade
thisapparentbysimplyleavingaroomthemomentsheenteredit.Sheatealone,becausetheSenora
and the Senorita managed to change the times of meals from day to day. She was avoided, barely
tolerated,activelydislikedbybothwomen,andshedidn'thavetheworldlinessorthesophistication
orthematuritytocopewiththesituation.

Shespentagreatdealoftimecrying.AndstillDiegostayedaway.

"Isitsoimpossibleforyoutoacceptme?"sheaskedSenoraLaremosoneeveningasJuanaleftthe

sittingroomandastiff-backedsenorapreparedtofollowher.

SenoraLaremosgaveheracold,blackglarefromeyessomuchlikeDiego'sthatMelissashivered.
"Youarenotwelcomehere.Surelyyourealizeit?"theolderwomanasked."Mygrandsondoesnot
wantyou,andneitherdowe.Youhavedishonoredusyetagain,likeyourmotherbeforeyou!"

Melissaavertedherface."Itwasn'tmyfault,"shesaidthroughtremblinglips."Notcompletely."

"Had it not been for your father's insistence, you would have been treated like any other woman
whosefavorsmysonhadenjoyed.Youwouldhavebeenadequatelyprovidedfor—"

"How?" Melissa demanded, her illusions gone at the thought of Diego's other women, her heart
broken."Withanallowanceforlife,acar,aminkcoat?"Herchinliftedproudly."Goahead,Senora.
Ignoreme.NothingwillchangethefactthatIamDiego'swife."

Theolderwomanseemedactuallytovibratewithanger.

"Youimpudentyoungcat,"shesnarled."Hasyourfamilynotbeenthecauseofenoughgriefformine
already,withoutthis?Idespiseyou!"

Melissadidn'tblink.Shedidn'tflinch."Yes,Irealizethat,"shesaidwithquietpride."Godforbidthat
inyourplaceIwouldeverbesocrueltoaguestinmyhome.Butthen,"sheaddedwithsoftvenom,"I
wasraisedproperly."

The Senora actually flushed. She went out of the room without another word, but afterward her
avoidanceofMelissawastotal.

Melissagaveuptryingtomakethemaccepthernowthatsherealizedthefutilityofit.Shewantedto
gohometoseeherfather,buteventhatwasdifficulttoarrangeinthehostileenvironmentwhereshe
lived.Shesettledfortheoccasionalphonecallandhadtopretend,forhissake,thateverythingwasall
right.PerhapswhenDiegohadtimetogetusedtothesituation,everythingwouldbeallright.

Thatwasthelasthopeshehad—thatDiegomightrelent.

Thatshemightbeabletopersuadehimtogiveherachancetobethewifesheknewshewascapable
ofbeing.

Meanwhile, the sickness went on and on, and she knew that soon she was going to have to see a
doctor.Shegrewpalerbytheday.Sopale,infact,thatJuanariskedhergrandmother'swrathtosneak
intoMelissa'sroomonenightandaskhowshewas.

Melissagapedather."Ibegyourpardon?"sheaskedtautly.

Juanagrimaced,herhandsfoldedneatlyatherwaist,herdarkeyesoddlykindinherthinface."You
seem so pale, Melissa. I wish it were different. Diego is—" she spread her hands "Diego. And my
grandmothernursesoldwoundsthathavebeenreopenedbyyourpresencehere.Icannotdefyher.It
wouldbreakherheartifIsidedwithyouagainsther."

"Iunderstandthat,"Melissasaidquietly,andmanagedasmile."Idon'tblameyouforbeingloyalto
yourgrandmother,Juana."

Juanasighed."Istheresomething,anything,Icando?"

Melissashookherhead."Butthankyou."

Juanaopenedthedoor,hesitating."Mygrandmotherwillnotsayso,butDiegohascalled.Hewillbe
hometomorrow.Ithoughtyoumightliketoknow."

Shewasgonethen,asquicklyasshe'dcome.Melissalookedaroundtheneatroomshe'dbeengiven,
with its dark antique furnishings. It wasn't by any means the master bedroom, and she wondered if
Diego would even keep up the pretense of being married to her by sleeping in the same room.
SomehowshedoubteditItwouldbejustaswellthatway,becauseshedidn'twanthimtoknowabout
thebaby.Notuntilshecouldtellhowwellhewasadaptingtomarriedlife.

Shebarelyslept,wonderinghowitwouldbetoseehimagain.Sheoversleptthenextmorningandfor
once was untroubled by nausea. She went down the hall and there he was, sitting at the head of the
table.Thewholefamilywastogetherforbreakfastforonce.

Herheartjumpedatjustthesightofhim.Hewaswearingalightweightwhitetropicalsuitthatsuited
his dark coloring, but he looked worn and tired. He glanced up as she entered the room, and she
wishedshehadn'twornthesoftgraycrepedress.Ithadseemedappropriateatthetime,butnowshe
feltoverdressed.Juanawaswearingasimplecalicoskirtandawhiteblouse,andthesenorahadona
sedatedarkdress.

Diego's eyes went from Melissa's blond hair in its neat chignon to her high-heeled shoes in one
lightning-fast, not-very-interested glance. He acknowledged her with cool formality. "Senora
Laremos.Areyouwell?"

She wanted to throw things. Nothing had changed, that was obvious. He still blamed her. Hated her.
Shewascarryinghischild,shewasalmostcertainofit,buthowcouldshetellhim?

Shewenttothetableandsatdowngingerly,asfarawayfromtheothersasshecouldwithoutbeing
tooobvious.

"Welcome home, senor'' she said in a subdued tone. She hardly had any spirit left. The weeks of
avoidance and cold courtesy and hostility had left their mark on her. She was pale and quiet, and
something stirred in Diego as he looked at her. Then he banked down the memories. She'd trapped
him.Hecouldn'taffordtolethimselfforgetthat.

FirstSheila,thenMelissa.TheSterlingshaddealttwobitterblowstotheLaremoshonor.Howcould
heeventhinkofforgivingher?

Still, he thought, she looked unwell. Her body was thinner than he remembered, and she had a
peculiarlackofinterestintheworldaroundher.

SenoraLaremosalsonoticedthesethingsaboutherunwantedhouseguestbutsheforcedherselfnotto
bend.Thegirlwasacurse,likehermotherbeforeher.ShecouldneverforgiveMelissafortrapping
Diegoinsuchascan-dalousway,sothateventheservantswhisperedaboutthemannerinwhichthe
twoofthemhadbeenfound.

"Wehavehadourmeal,"theSenorasaidwithforcedcourtesy,"butCarisawillbringsomethingfor
youifyouwish,Melissa."

"Idon'twantanythingexceptcoffee,thankyou,Senora!"

She reached for the silver coffeepot with a hand that trembled despite all her efforts to control it.
Juana bit her lip and turned her eyes away. And Diego saw his sister's reaction with a troubled
conscience.ForJuanatobesoaffected,theweekshe'dbeenawaymusthavebeendifficultones.He
glancedatthesenoraandwonderedwhatMelissahadendured.Hisonlythoughthadbeentogetaway
fromtheforcedintimacywithhisnewwife.

Now he began to wonder about the treatment she'd received from his family and was shocked to
realizethatitwasonlyanechoofhisowncoldness.

"Youarethinner,"Diegosaidunexpectedly."Isyourappetitenotgood?"

Shelifteddull,uninterestedeyes."Itsuffices,senor''shereplied.Shesippedcoffeeandkepthergaze
onhercup.Itwaseasierthantryingtolookathim.

Hehatedtheguiltthatsweptoverhim.Thesituationwasherfault.She'dbaitedatrapthathe'dfallen
headlonginto.

Sowhyshouldhefeelsoterrible?Buthedid.Thelaughing,shyyoungwomanwho'dadoredhimno
longerlivedinthesamebodywiththisquiet,unnaturallypalewomanwhowouldn'tlookathim.

"Perhapsyouwouldliketoliedown,Melissa,"thesenorasaiduneasily."Youdoseempale."

Melissadidn'targue.Itwasobviousthatshewasn'twelcomehere,either,evenifshehadbeeninvited
tojointhefamily."Asyouwish,senora''shesaid,hertoneemotionless.Shegotupwithoutlookingat
anyoneandwentdownthelong,carpetedhalltoherroom.

Diegobegantobrood.Hehardlyheardwhathisgrandmothersaidabouttherunningoftheestatein
hisabsence.HismindwasstillonMelissa.

"Howlonghasshebeenlikethis,abuela?"heaskedunexpectedly."Hasshenointerestinthehouseat
all?"

Juana started to speak, but the senora silenced her. "She has been made welcome, despite the
circumstancesofyourmarriage,"thesenorasaidwithdignity."Sheprefersherowncompany."

"Excuseme,"Juanasaidsuddenly,andsheleftthetable,herfacerigidwithdistasteasshewentoutthe
door.

DiegofinishedhiscoffeeandwenttoMelissa'sroom.Butonceoutsideit,hehesitated.Thingswere
alreadystrained.Hedidn'treallywanttomakeitanyharderforher.Hewithdrewhishandfromthe
doorknoband,withafaintsigh,wentbackthewayhe'dcome.Therewouldbetimelatertotalktoher.

But business interceded. He was either on his way out or getting ready to leave every time Melissa
sawhim.Hedidn'tcomenearherexcepttoinquireafterherhealthandtonodnowandagain.Melissa
begantostayinherroomallthetime,eatingherfoodontraysthatCarisabroughtandstaringoutthe
window. She wondered if her mind might be affected by her enforced solitude, but nothing really
seemedtomatteranymore.Shehadnoemotionleftinher.Evenherpregnancyseemedquiteunreal,
althoughsheknewitwasonlyamatteroftimebeforeshewasgoingtohavetoseethedoctor.

ItwasstormingthenightDiegofinallycametoseeher.

He'djustcomeinfromthecattle,andhelookedweary.Indarkslacksandanunbuttonedwhiteshirt,
helookedverySpanishanddangerouslyattractive,hisblackhairdampfromthefirstsprinklingof
rain.

"Willyounotmakeeventheefforttoassociatewiththerestofus?"heaskedwithoutpreamble."My
grandmotherfeelsthatyourdislikeforusisgrowingoutofproportion."

"Your grandmother hates me," she said without inflection, her eyes on the darkness outside the
window."Justasyoudo."

Diego'sfacehardened."Afterallthathashappened,didyouexpecttofindmeawillinghusband?"

Shesighed,staringatherhandsinherlap."Idon'tknowwhatIexpected.Iwaslivingondreams.Now
they've all come true, and I've learned that reality is more than castles in the air. What we think we
want isn't necessarily what we need. I should have gone to America. I should never have.. .I should
havestoppedyou"

Hefeltblindinganger."Stoppedme?"heechoed,hisdeepvoiceringinginthesilenceofherroom.
"Whenitwasyourdamnableschemingthatledtoourpresentcircumstances?"

Sheliftedherfacetohis."Andyourlossofcontrol,"shesaidquietly,faintaccusationinhervoice.
"Youdidn'thavetomakelovetome.Ididn'tforceyou."

Histemperexploded.Hedidn'twanttothinkaboutthat.

Helapsedintoclipped,furiousSpanishasheexpressedthingshecouldn'tmanageinEnglish.

"Allright,"shesaid,risingunsteadilytoherfeet

"Allright,itwasallmyfault—allofit.IplannedtotrapyouandIdid,andnowbothofusarepaying
formymistakes."Herpaleeyespleadedwithhisunyieldingones."Ican'tevenexpressmysorrowor
begyouenoughtoforgiveme.ButDiego,there'snohopeofdivorce.Wehavetomakethebestofit."

"Dowe?"heasked,liftinghischin.

She moved closer to him in one last desperate effort to reach him. Her soft eyes searched his. She
lookedyoungandveryseductive,andDiegofelthimselfcavinginwhenshewascloseenoughthathe
couldsmellthesweetperfumeofherbodyandfeelherwarmth.Allthememoriesstirredsuddenly,
weakeninghim.

She sensed that he was vulnerable somehow. It gave her the courage to do what she did next. She
raised her hands and rested them on his chest, against the cool skin and the soft feathering of hair
overthehardmuscles.Heflinched,andshesighedsoftlyasshelookedupathim.

"Diego,we'remarried,"shewhispered,tryingnottotremble."Can'twe...can'tweforgetthepastand
startagain...tonight?"

His jaw went taut, his body stiffened. No, he told himself, he wouldn't allow her to make him
vulnerableasecondtime.Hehadtogirdhimselfagainstanyfutureassaultslikethis.

He caught her shoulders and pushed her away from him, his face severe, his eyes cold and
unwelcoming."Theverytouchofyoudisgustsme,SenoraLaremos,"hesaidwithicyfastidiousness.
"Iwouldrathersleepalonefortherestofmydaysthantosharemybedwithyou.Yourepulseme."

Thelackofheatinthewordsmadethemallthemoredamning.Shelookedathimwiththeeyesofa
bludg-eoneddeer.Disgust.Repulse.Shecouldn'tbearanymore.

Hisgrandmotherandsisterlikehostilesoldierslivingwithher,thenDiego'scoldcompany,andnow
this.Itwastoomuch.Shewasbearinghischild,andhewouldn'twantit,becauseshedisgustedhim.
Tearsstunghereyes.

Herhandwenttohermouth.

"I can't bear it," she whimpered. Her face contorted and she ran out the door, which he'd left open,
downthehall,herhairstreamingbehindher.Shefeltratherthansawthewomenofthehousegaping
at her from the living room as she ran wildly toward the front door with Diego only a few steps
behindher.

Thehousewasonestory,buttherewasalongdropofftheporchbecauseoftheslopeonwhichthe
househadbeenbuilt.Thestonestepsstretchedoutbeforeher,butshewasblindedbytearsandlost
herfootinginthedrivingrain.Shedidn'tevenfeelthewetnessorthepainassheshotheadfirstinto
thedarknessandthefirstimpactrockedher.Somewhereaman'svoicewasyellinghoarsely,butshe
wasmercifullybeyondhearingit.

Shecametointhehospital,surroundedbywhite-coatedfiguresbendingoverher.

The resident physician was American, a blond-haired, blue-eyed young man with a pleasant smile.
'Thereyouare,"hesaidgentlywhenshestirredandopenedhereyes.

"Minorconcussionandaclosecallforyourbaby,butIthinkyou'llsurvive."

"I'mpregnant?"sheaskeddrowsily.

"Abouttwoandahalfmonths,"heagreed."Isitapleasantsurprise?"

"Iwishitwereso."Shesighed."Pleasedon'ttellmyhusband.He'llbeworriedenoughasitis,"she
added,deliberatelymisleadingtheyoungman.Shedidn'twantDiegotoknowaboutthebaby.

"I'm sorry, but I told him there was a good chance you might lose it," he said apologetically. "You
wereinbadshapewhentheybroughtyouin,senora.It'samiraclethatyoudidn'tlosethebaby,andI'd
stillliketorunsometestsjusttomakesure."

She bit her lower lip and suddenly burst into tears. It all came out then, the forced marriage, his
family'shatredofher,hisownhatredofher."Idon'twanthimtoknowthatI'mstillpregnant,"she
pleaded."Oh,please,youmustn'ttellhim,youmustn't!Ican'tstayhereandletmybabybebornin
suchhostility.They'lltakehimawayfrommeandI'llneverseehimagain.Youdon'tknowhowthey
hatemeandmyfamily!"

Hesighedheavily."YoumustseethatIcan'tlieaboutit."

"I'mnotaskingyouto,"shesaid."IfIcanleaveinthemorning,andifyou'lljustnottalktohim,Ican
tellhimthatthereisn'tgoingtobeababy."

"Ican'tlietohim,"thedoctorrepeated.

Shetookaslow,steadyingbreath.Shewasinpainnow,andthebruiseswerebeginningtonagher.
"Thencanyoujustnottalktohim?"

"Imightmanagetobeunavailable,"hesaid."Butifheasksme,I'lltellhimthetruth.Imust."

"Isn'tapatient'sconfessionsacredorsomething?"sheaskedwithafainttraceofhumor.

"That'sso,butlyingissomethingelseagain.I'mtoohonest,anyway,"hesaidgently."He'dseeright
throughme."

Shelaybackandtouchedherachinghead."It'sallright,"

shemurmured."Itdoesn'tmatter."

Hehesitatedforaminute.Thenhebenttoexamineherheadandshegaveintothepain.Minuteslater
he gave her something for it and left her to be transported to a private room and admitted for
observationovernight.

ShewonderedifDiegowouldcometoseeher,butshewashalf-asleepwhenshesawhimstandingat
the foot of the bed. His face was in the shadows, so she couldn't see it. But his voice was curiously
husky.

"Howareyou?"heasked.

"They say I'll get over it," she replied, turning her head away from him. Tears rolled down her
cheeks.Atleastshestillhadthebaby,butshecouldn'ttellhim.Shedidn'tdare.Sheclosedhereyes.

Hestuckhishandsdeepinhispocketsandlookedather,ahorriblesadnessinhiseyes,asadnessshe
didn'tsee."I..

.amsorryaboutthebaby,"hesaidstiffly."Oneofthenursessaidthatyourdoctormentionedthefall
haddoneagreatdealofdamage."Heshiftedrestlessly.

'Thepossibilityofachildhadsimplynotoccurredtome,"

headdedslowly.

As if he'd been home enough to notice, she thought miserably. "Well, you needn't worry about it
anymore,"

shesaidhuskily."Godforbidthatyoushouldbeanymoretrappedthanyoualreadywere.You'dhave
hatedbeingtiedtomebyababy."

Hisspinestiffened.Heseemedtoseeherthenasshewas,anunhappychildwho'dhalfworshipedhim,
andhewonderedattheguilthefelt.Thatannoyedhim.

"Grandmotherhadtobetranquilizedwhensheknew,"hesaidcurtly,avertinghiseyes."Diosmio,you
mighthavetoldme,Melissa!"

"Ididn'tknow,"shelieddully.Herpoorbruisedfacemovedrestlesslyagainstthecoolpillow."Andit
doesn'tmatternow.Nothingmattersanymore."Shesighedwearily."I'msotired.Pleaseleavemein
peace,Diego."

Sheturnedherfaceaway."Ionlywanttosleep."

Hestareddownatherwithoutspeaking.She'dtrappedhimandheblamedherforit,buthewassorry
aboutthebaby,becausehewasresponsible.Hegrimacedatherpaleness,atthebruisingonherface.
She'dchangedsodrastically,hethought.She'dagedyears.

Hiseyesnarrowed.Well,hadn'tshebroughtitonherself?

She'd wanted to marry him, but she hadn't considered his feelings. She'd forced them into this
marriage, and divorce wasn't possible. He still blamed her for that, and forgiveness was going to
comehard.Butforatimeshehadtobelookedafter.Well,tomorrowhe'dworksomethingout.He
mightsendhertoBarbados,whereheownedland,torecover.Hedidn'tknowifhecouldbearhaving
to see the evidence of his cruelty every day, because the loss of the child weighed heavily on his
conscience.Hehadn'tevenrealizedthathewantedachilduntilnow,whenitwastoolate.

Hedidn'tsleep,wonderingwhattodo.Butwhenhewenttoseeher,she'dalreadysolvedtheproblem.
Shewasgone...

Aspastandpresentmerged,DiegowatchedMelissa'seyesopensuddenlyandlookupathim.Itmight
havebeenfiveyearsago.Thepainwasinthosesoftgrayeyes,thebittermemories.Shelookedathim

andshuddered.

Theeyesthatoncehadworshipedhimwerefilledwithicyhatred.Melissaseemednohappiertosee
himthanhewastoseeher.Thepastwasstillbetweenthem.

CHAPTERFOUR

MELISSABLINKED,movingherheadjerkilysoshecouldseehim.Hergazefocusedonhisface,
andthensheshiveredandclosedhereyes.Hepulledhimselferectandturnedtogoandgetanurse.
Ashelefttheroom,hislastthoughtwasthatherexpressionhadbeenthatofawomanawakeningnot
from,butinto,anightmare.

WhenMelissa'seyesopenedagain,therewasashadowyformbeforeherincrispwhite,checkingher
overprofessionallywithsomethinguncomfortablycoldandmetallic.

"Good,"amasculinevoicemurmured."Verygood.She'scomingaround.Ithinkwecandispensewith
someofthisparaphernalia,MissJackson"hetoldawhite-cladwomanbesidehim,andproceededto
giveunintelligibleorders.

Melissatriedtomoveherhand."Pl-please."Hervoicesoundedthickandalien."Ihave...togohome."

"Notjustyet,I'mafraid,"hesaidkindly,smiling.

Shelickedherlips.Theyfeltsoverydry."Matthew,"shewhispered."Mylittleboy.Ataneighbor's.
Theywon'tknow..."

Thedoctorhesitated."Youjustrest,Mrs.Laremos.

You'vehadabadnightofit—"

"Don't...callmethat!"sheshuddered,closinghereyes.

"I'mMelissaSterling."

Thedoctorwantedtoaddthatherhusbandwasjustoutsidethedoor,butthelookonherfacetookthe
wordsoutofhismouth.Hesaidsomethingtothenurseandquicklywentbackoutintothehall.

Diegowaspacing,andsmokinglikeafurnace.He'dshedhisjacketononeofthecolorfulseatsinthe
nearby waiting room. His white silk shirt was open at the throat and his tie was lying neatly on his
foldedjacket.Hisrolled-upsleeveswereindramaticcontrasttohisveryoliveskin.Hisblackeyescut
aroundtothedoctor.

"Howisshe?"heaskedwithoutpreamble.

"Stillabitconcussed."Thedoctorleanedagainstthewall,hisarmsfolded.Hewasalmostastallas
Diego,butagoodtenyearsyounger."There'saproblem."Hehesitated,becauseheknewfromwhat
DiegohadtoldhimthatheandMelissahadbeenapartmanyyears.Hedidn'tknowifthechildwasher
husband'sorsomeoneelse's,andsituationslikethiscouldgetuncomfortable.Heclearedhisthroat.
"Yourwifeisworriedaboutherson.

He'sapparentlystayingataneighbor'shouse."

Diegofelthimselfgorigid.Achild.Hisheartseemedtostopbeating,andforonewildmomenthe
enjoyedtheunboundedthoughtthatitwashischild.AndthenherememberedthatMelissahadlosthis
childandthatitwasimpossibleforhertohaveconceivedagainbeforeshe'dleftthefinca.Theyhad
onlyslepttogethertheonetime.

ThatmeantthatMelissahadsleptwithanotherman.Thatshehadbecomepregnantbyanotherman.
Thatthechildwasnothis.Hehatedherinthatinstantwithallhisheart.

Perhaps she was justified in her revenge. To be fair, he'd made her life hell during their brief
marriage.Andnowshe'dhadherrevenge.She'dhurthiminthemostbasicwayofall.

Hehadtofightnottoturnonhisheelandwalkaway.Butcommonsenseprevailed.Thechildwasn't
responsibleforitscircumstances.Itwouldbealoneandprobablyfrightened.Hecouldn'tignoreit."If
youcanfindoutwhereheis,Iwillseeabouthim,"hesaidstiffly."WillMelissabeallright?"

"Ithinkso.She'sthroughtheworstofit.Therewasagooddealofinternalbleeding.We'vetakencare
ofthat.

Therewasabadlytornligamentinherlegthatwillhealinamonthorso.Andwehadtoremovean
ovary,buttheotheronewasundamaged.Childrenarestillpossible."

Diego didn't look at the doctor. His eyes were on the door to Melissa's room. "The child. Do you
knowhowoldheis?"

"No.Doesitmatter?"

Diegoshookhimself.Whathewasthinkingwasn'tremotelypossible.She'dlostthechildhe'dgiven
her.

She'dbeentakentothehospitalafteraseverefall,andthedoctorhadtoldhimtherewaslittlehopeof
savingit.Itwasn'tpossiblethatthey'dbothlied.Ofcoursenot.

"I'lltrytofindthechild'swhereabouts,"thedoctortoldDiego."Meanwhile,youcan'tdomuchgood
here.Bytomorrowsheshouldbemorelucid.Youcanseeherthen"

Diego wanted to tell him that if she was lucid Melissa wouldn't want to see him at all. But he only
shruggedandnoddedhisdarkhead.

Heleftatelephonenumberatthenurse'sstationandwentbacktohishotel,gladtobeoutofTucson's
swelteringmidsummerheatandinthecomfortofhiselegantair-conditionedroom.Alocaljokehad
it that when a desperado from nearby Yuma had died and gone to hell, he'd sent back home for
blankets. Diego was inclined to believe it, although the tropical heat of his native Guatemala was
equallytryingforAmericanswhosettledthere.

He much preferred the rain forest to the desert. Even if it was a humid heat, there was always the
promiseofrain.

Hewonderedifiteverrainedhere.Presumablyitdid,eventually.

HismindwanderedbacktoMelissainthathospitalbedandthelookonherfacewhenshe'dseenhim.
She'd hidden well. He'd tried every particle of influence and money he'd possessed to find her, but
withoutanysuccess.She'dcoveredhertrackswell,andhowcouldheblameher?Histreatmentofher
hadbeencruel,andshehadn'tbeenmuchmorethanachildhero-worshipinghim.

But Diego thought about the baby with bridled fury. They were still married, despite her
unfaithfulness, and there was no question of divorce. Melissa, who was also Catholic, would have
beennomoreamenabletothatsolutionthanhe.Butitwasgoingtobeunbearable,seeingthatchild
andknowingthathewastheveryproofofMelissa'srevengeforDiego'streatmentofher.

The sudden buzz of the telephone diverted him. It was the doctor, who'd obtained the name and
addressoftheneighborwhowascaringforMelissa'sson.Diegoscribbledtheinformationonapad
besidethephone,gratefulforthediversion.

An hour later he was ushered into the cozy living room of Henrietta Grady's house, just down the
streetfromtheaddressthehospitalhadforMelissa'shome.

Diego sat sipping coffee, listening to Mrs. Grady talk about Melissa and Matthew and their long
acquaintance.

Shewasn'tshyaboutenumeratingMelissa'svirtues.

"Suchasweetgirl,"shesaid."AndMatthew'sneveranytrouble.Idon'thavechildrenofmyown,you
see,andMelissaandMatthewhaveratheradoptedme."

"I'm certain your friendship has been important to Melissa," he replied, not wanting to go into any
detailabouttheirmarriage."Theboy..."

"Hereheisnow.Hello,mybaby."

Diego stopped short at the sight of the clean little boy who walked sleepily into the room in his
pajamas. "All clean, Granny Grady," he said, running to her. He perched on her lap, his bare toes
wiggling,eyeingthetall,darkmancuriously."Whoareyou?"heasked.

Diegostaredathimwithicyanger.WhoeverMelissa'sloverhadbeen,heobviouslyhadalittleLatin
blood.Theboy'shairwaslightbrown,buthisskinwasoliveandhiseyesweredarkbrownvelvet.He
was captivating, his arms around Mrs. Grady's neck, his lean, dark face full of laughter. And he
lookedtobejustaboutfouryearsold.

WhichmeantthatMelissa'sfidelityhadlastedscantweeksormonthsbeforeshe'dturnedtoanother
man.

Mrs.GradyliftedthechildandcuddledhimwhileMatthewwaitedforthemantoanswerhisquestion.

"I'mMatthew,"hetoldDiego,hisvoiceuninhibitedandunaccented."Mymommywentaway.Areyou

mypapa?"

Diego wasn't sure he could speak. He stared at the little boy with faint hostility. "I am your mama's
husband,"hesaidcurtly,awareofMatthew'suncertaintyandMrs.

Grady'ssurprise.

Diegoignoredthelooks."Yourmamaisgoingtobeallright.Sheisalittlehurt,butnotmuch.She
willcomehomesoon."

"WherewillMattgo?"theboyaskedgently.

Diegosighedheavily.Hehadn'trealizedhowmuchMelissa'sincapacitywouldaffecthislife.Shewas
his responsibility until she was well again, and so was this child. It was a matter of honor, and
althoughhishadtakensomehardblowsinyearspast,itwasstillasmuchapartofhimashispride.
Heliftedhischin."Youandyourmamawillstaywithme,"hesaidstiffly,andthelackofwelcomein
hisvoicemadethelittleboyclingevenclosertoMrs.Grady."Butinthemeantime,Ithinkitwouldbe
aswellifyoustayhere."HeturnedtoMrs.Grady."Thiscanbearranged?Iwillneedtospendagreat
dealoftimeatthehospitaluntilIcanbringMelissahome,anditseemslessthansensibletouproot
himanymorethannecessary."

"Ofcourseitcanbearranged,"Mrs.Gradysaidwithoutargument."Ifthere'sanythingelseIcandoto
help,pleaseletmeknow."

"I will give you the number of the phone in my hotel room and at the hospital, should you need to
contactme."

Hepulledacheckbookfromtheimmaculategraysuitjacket."Noarguments,please,"hesaidwhen
she looked hesitant about accepting money. "If you had not been available, Melissa would certainly
havehadtohireasitterforhim.Imustinsistthatyouletmepayyou."

Mrs.Gradygaveingracefully,gratefulforhisthought-fulness."Iwouldhavedoneitfornothing,"
shesaid.

Hesmiledandwroteoutacheck."Yes.Isensedthat."

"Is Matt going to live with you and Mama?" Matthew asked in a quiet, subdued tone, sadness in his
hugedarkeyes.

Diegoliftedhischin."Yes,"Diegosaidformally."Forthetimebeing."

"Mymommywillmissmeifshe'shurt.Icankissherbetter.Can'tIgoseeher?"

Itwasoddlytouchingtoseethosegreatdarkeyesfilledwithtears.Diegohadschooledhimselfover
theyearstoneverbetrayemotion.Buthestillfeltit,evenatsuchanunwelcometime.

Mrs.Gradyhadputtheboydowntopourmorecoffee,andDiegostudiedhimgravely."Thereisa

doctorwhoistakingverygoodcareofyourmother.Soonyoumayseeher.Ipromise."

Thesmallfaceliftedwarilytowardhim."IloveMama,"

he said. "She takes me places and buys me ice cream. And she lets me sleep with her when I get
scared."

Diego'sfacebecame,ifanything,morereservedthanbefore,Mrs.Gradynoticed.Aflashofdarkness
inhiseyesmadehermorenervousthanbefore.HowcouldMelissahavebeenmarriedtosuchacold
man,amanwhoseemedunaffectedevenbyhisownson'stears?"Howaboutacartoonmoviebefore
bedtime?"Mrs.GradyaskedMatthew,andquicklyputonaWinniethePoohvideoforhimtowatch.
Theboysprawledinanarmchair,clappinghishandsasthecreditsbegantoroll.

"Gracias"Diegosaidashegotgracefullytohisfeet."IwilltellMelissaofyourkindnesstoherson."

Mrs.Gradytriednottochoke."Excuseme,senor,butMatthewissurelyyourson,too?"

The look in his eyes made her regret ever asking the question. She moved quickly past him to the
door,makingaflurryofsmalltalkwhilehercheeksburnedwithherownforwardness.

"IhopeeverythinggoeswellwithMelissa,"shesaid,flustered.

"Yes.SodoI."DiegoglancedbackatMatthew,whowaswatchingtelevision.Hisdarkeyeswerequiet
andfaintlybitter.Hedidn'twantMelissa'schild.Hewasn'tsureheevenwantedMelissa.He'dcomeout
of duty and honor, but those were the only things keeping him from taking the first flight home to
Guatemala.Hefeltbetrayedalloveragain,andhedidn'tknowhowhewasgoingtobearhavingto
lookatthatchildeverydayuntilMelissawaswellenoughtoleavehim.

He went back to the hospital, pausing outside Melissa's room while he convinced himself that
upsetting her at this point would be unwise. He couldn't do that to an injured woman, despite his
outrage.Afteramomentheknockedcarelesslyandwalkedin,tallandelegantandfaintlyarrogant,
controllinghisexpressionsothatheseemedutterlyunconcerned.

Which was quite a feat, considering that inside he felt as if part of him had died over the past five
years. Melissa couldn't possibly know how it had been for him when she'd first vanished from the
hospital,orhowhisguilthadhauntedhim.Despitehismisgivings,he'dsearchedforher,andifhe'd
found her he'd have made sure that their marriage worked. For the sake of his family's honor, he'd
havemadeherthinkthathewassupremelycontented.

Andafterthey'dhadotherchildren,perhapsthey'dhavefoundsomemeasureofhappiness.Butthat
wasallsupposition,andnowhewashereandthefuturehadtobefaced.

Theonethinghewascertainofwasthathecouldnevertrustheragain.Affectionmightbepossible
afterhegotusedtothesituation,butlovewasn'tawordheknew.

He'd come close to that with Melissa before she'd forced him into an unwanted marriage. But she'd
nippedthatsoftfeelinginthebud,andhe'dsteeledhimselfintheyearssincetobeinvulnerabletoa

woman'slies.Nothingshedidcouldtouchhimanymore.Buthowwashegoingtohidehiscontempt
andfuryfromherwhenMatthewwouldremindhimofiteverydaytheyhadtobetogether?

CHAPTERFIVE

MELISSAWATCHEDDIEGOcomeinthedoor,anditwaslikesteppingbackintoapastshedidn't
evenwanttoremember.Shewasdrowsyfromthepainkillers,butnothingcouldnumbherreactionto
herfirstsightofherhusbandinfiveyears.

Sheseemedtostopbreathingashergrayeyessliddrowsilyoverhistallelegance.Diego.Somany
dreamsago,she'dlovedhim.Somanylonelyyearsago,she'dlongedforhim.Butthememoryofhis
coldindifferenceandhisfamily'shatredhadkilledsomethingvulnerableinher.She'dgrownup.No
longerwasshetheadoringwoman-childwho'dhungonhiseveryword.BecauseofMatthew,shehad
toconcealfromDiegotheattractionshestillfeltforhim.ShewashelplessandDiegowaswealthy
andpowerful.Shecouldn'trisklettinghimknowthetruthaboutthelittleboy,becausesheknewall
toowellthatDiegowouldtossherasidewithoutregret.He'dalreadydonethatonce.

Evennowshecouldrecallthedisgustinhisfacewhenhe'dpushedherawayfromhimthatlastnight
she'dspentunderhisroof.

Her eyes opened again and he was closer, his face as unreadable as ever. He was older, but just as
masculine and attractive. The cologne he used drifted down to her, making her fingers curl. She
rememberedthecleanscentofhim,thedelicioustouchofhishardmouthonherown.

Themustachewasunfamiliar,veryblackandthick,likethewavy,neatlytrimmedhairabovehisdark
face.Hewasolder,yes,evenalittlemoremuscular.ButhewasstillDiego.

"Melissa." He made her name a song. It was the pro-nunciation, she imagined, the faint accent, that
gaveitaforeignsound.

Sheloweredhereyestohisjacket."Diego."

"Howareyoufeeling?"

Hesoundedasawkwardasshefelt.Shewonderedhowthey'dfoundhim,whythey'dcontactedhim.
Shewasstilldisoriented.Herslenderhandtouchedherforeheadasshestruggledtoremember.'There
wasaplanecrash,"shewhispered,grimacingasshefeltagainthehorriblestillnessoftheengine,the
suddenwhiningasthey'ddescended,herownscreaming.

"Youmusttrynottothinkofitnow."Hestoodoverher,hishandsdeepinhispockets.

Then,suddenly,sheremembered."Matthew!Oh,no.

Matthew!"

"Cuidado!" he said gently, pressing her back into the pillows. "Your son is doing very well. I have
beentoseehim."

Therewasaflickerofmovementinhereyelidsthatsheprayedhewouldn'tseeandbecomecurious

about.Shestaredathim,waiting.Waiting.Buthemadenocommentaboutthechild.Nothing.

His back straightened. "I have asked Mrs. Grady to keep him until you are well enough to be
released."

Shewishedshefeltmorecapableofcoping."Thatwaskindofyou,"shesaid.

He turned to her again, his head to one side as he studied her. He decided not to pull any punches.
"Youwillnotbeabletoworkforsixweeks.AndMrs.Gradyseemedtofeelthatyouareindesperate
financialstraits."

Hereyesclosedasawaveofnauseasweptoverher."Ihadpneumonia,backinthespring,"shesaid."I
gotbehindwiththebills..."

"Are you listening to me, Senora Laremos?" he asked pointedly, emphasizing the married name he
knewshehated."Youarenotabletowork.Untilyouare,youandthechildwillcomehomewithme."

Hereyesopenedthen."No!"

"Itisdecided,"hesaidcarelessly.

Shewentrigidunderthesheet."Iwon'tgotoGuatemala,Diego,"shesaidwithunexpectedspirit.In
theolddays,shehadneverfoughthim."Notunderanycircumstances."

Hestaredather,hisexpressionfaintlypuzzled.Sothememoriesbotheredher,aswell,didthey?He
lifted his chin, staring down his straight nose at her. "Chicago, not Guatemala," he replied quietly.
"Retirement has begun to bore me." He shrugged. "I hardly need the money, but Apollo Blain has
offeredmeaconsultant'sposition,andIalreadyhaveanapartmentinChicago.Iwasspendingafew
weeksatthefincabeforebeginningworkwhenthehospitalauthoritiescalledmeaboutyou."

Apollo. That name was familiar. She remembered the mercenaries with whom Diego had once
associatedhimself."Hewasintroublewiththelaw."

"Nolonger.J.D.Brettmandefendedhimandwonhiscase.Apollohashisownbusinessnow,andmost
oftheothersworkforhim.Heisthelastbachelorinthegroup.

Theothersaremarried,evenShirt."

Sheswallowed."Shirtismarried?"

'Toawirylittlewidow.Unbelievable,isitnot?IflewtoTexasthreeyearsagoforthewedding."

She couldn't look at him. She knew somehow that he'd never told his comrades about his own
marriage.He'dhatedMelissaandtheverythoughtofbeingtiedtoher.

Hadn'thesaidsooftenenough?

"I'mveryhappyforthem,"shesaidtautly."Hownicetoknowthatsomepeoplelookuponmarriage

asahappyending,notascertaindeath."

Hisgazenarrowed,hisdarkeyeswaryonherface.

"Lookingintothepastwillaccomplishnothing,"hesaidfinally."Wemustbothputitaside.Icannot
desert you at such a time, and Mrs. Grady is hardly able to undertake your nursing as well as your
son'swelfare."

Shedidn'tmisstheemphasisheputonthereferencetoMatthew.Hehadtobelieveshe'dbetrayedhim,
andshehadnochoicebuttolethimthinkit.Shecouldn'tfighthiminherpresentcondition.

Hergrayeyesheldhis."Andyouare?"

"Itisamatterofhonor,"hesaidstiffly.

"Yes,ofcourse.Honor,"shesaidwearily,wincingasshemovedandfeltatwingeofpain."IhopeI
canteachMatthewthathonorandpridearen'tquiteasimportantascompassionandlove."

The reference to her own lack of honor made his temper flare. "Who was his father, Melissa?" he
askedcuttingly,hiseyeshard.Hehadn'tmeanttoaskthat,thewordshadexplodedfromhiminquiet
fury."Whosechildishe?"

Sheturnedherheadbacktohis."He'smychild,"shesaidwithanindignantglare.Gonewerethedays
whenshe'dboweddowntohim.Goneweretheoldadulationandthepedestalshe'dputhimon.She
was worlds more mature now, and her skin wasn't thin anymore. "When you pushed me away, you
gaveupanyrightsyouhadtodictatetome.Hisparentageisnoneofyourbusiness.Youdidn'twant
me,butmaybesomeoneelsedid."

Heglared,buthedidn'tfirebackather.Howcouldhe?

She'dhitonhisownweakness.He'dnevergottenovertheguilthe'dfelt,bothforthelossofcontrol
thathadgivenheraweapontoforcehimintomarriageandforcausinghermiscarriage.

Hestaredoutthewindow."Wecannotchangewhatwas,"

hesaidagain.

Melissahatedtheemotionsthatsoft,Spanish-accentedvoicearousedinher,andshehatedthehunger
shefeltforhislove.Butshecouldneverlethimknow.

Shestaredatherthinhands."Whydidtheycontactyou?"

He went back to the bed, his eyes quiet, unreadable. "You had our marriage license in your purse."
"Oh."

"It amazes me that you would carry it with you," he continued. "You hated me when you left
Guatemala."

"Nolessthanyouhatedme,Diego,"sherepliedwearily.

Hisheartleapedatthesoundofhisnameonherlips.

She'd whispered it that rainy afternoon in the mountains, then moaned it, then screamed it. His fist
clencheddeepinhispocketasthememoriescameback,unbidden.

"Itseemedso,diditnot?"hereplied.Heturnedawayirritably."Nevertheless,Ididtrytofindyou,"he
addedstiffly."Buttonoavail."

Shestaredatthesheetoverher."Ididn'tthinkyou'dlookforme,"shesaid."Ididn'tthinkyou'dmind
thatIwasgone,sinceI'dlostthechild,"sheadded,forcingoutthelie,"andthatwastheonlythingyou
wouldhavevaluedinourmarriage."

He averted his head. He didn't tell her the whole truth about the devastation her disappearance had
causedhim.

Hewasuncertainofhisabilitytotalkaboutit,evennow,withoutrevealinghisemotions."Youwere
my wife," he said carelessly, glancing her way with eyes as black as night. "You were my
responsibility."

"Yes,"sheagreed."Onlythat.Justanunwelcomeduty."

Shegrimaced,fightingthepainbecausehershotwasslowlywearingoff.Hersoftgrayeyessearched
hisface.

"Youneverwantedme,exceptinoneway.Andafterweweremarried,noteventhatway."

Thatwasn'ttrue.Shecouldn'tknowhowhe'dfoughttostayoutofherbedroomforfearofcreating
anaddictionthathewouldneverbecuredof.Shewasinhisbloodevennow,andashelookedather
he ached for her. But he'd forced himself to keep his distance. His remoteness, his cutting remarks,
hadallbeenpartofhisefforttokeepheroutofhisheart.He'dcomeclosertoknowinglovewithher
thanwithanyofthewomeninhispast,butsomethinginhimhadheldback.He'dlivedaloneallhis
life,he'dbeenfree.Lovingwasakindofprison,abond.

Hehadn'twantedthat.Evenmarriagehadn'tchangedhismind.Notatfirst.

"Freedomwastomeakindofreligion,"hesaidabsently.

"IhadneverforeseenthatImightonedaybeforcedtorelinquishit."Heshiftedrestlessly."Marriage
wasneverastateIcoveted."

"Yes,Ilearnedthat,"shereplied.Shegrimacedassheshiftedagainstthepillow."Whatdidthey...doto
me?

Theywon'ttellmeanything."

"They operated to stop some internal bleeding." He stood over her, his head at a faintly arrogant

angle. "There is a torn ligament in your leg which will make you uncomfortable until it heals, and
some minor bruises and abrasions. And they had to remove one of your ovaries, but the physician
saidthatyoucanstillbearachild."

Herfacecolored."Idon'twantanotherchild."

Hestareddownatherwithfaintdistaste."Nodoubttheoneyourloverleftyouwithisadequate,ishe
not,senora?"heshotback.

She wanted to hit him. Her eyes flashed wildly and her breath caught. "Oh, God, I hate you," she
breathedhuskily,andherfacecontortedwithnewpain.

Heignoredtheoutburst."Doyouneedsomethingelseforthediscomfort?"heaskedunexpectedly.

Shewantedtodenyit,butshecouldn't"It...hurts."Shetouchedherabdomen.

"Iwillseethenurseonmywayout.ImustgetmoreclothesforMatthew."

Shefeltdrained."I'dforgotten.Myapartment.Thereareclothesinthetallchestofdrawersforhim."

"Thekey?"heasked.

"In my purse." She didn't really want Diego in her apartment. There were no visible traces of
anything,buthemightfindsomethingshe'doverlooked.Butwhatchoicedidshehave?Matthewhad
tobeherfirstconsideration.

Hebroughtittoher,tookthekeysheextended,thenreplacedthepitifulvinylpurseinherlocker.The
sightofherclothingwasequallydepressing.Shehadnothing.Hisdarkeyesclosed.Ithurttoseeher
so destitute when she was entitled to his own wealth. Diego knew that Melissa's father had gone
bankruptjustbeforehisdeath.

The apartment she shared with Matthew was as dismal as the clothing he'd seen in her locker at the
hospital.Thelandladyhadeyedhimwithsuspicionandcuriosityuntilhe'dproducedhischeckbook
andaskedhowmuchhiswifeowedher.Thathadshakenthewomanconsiderably,andtherehadbeen
nomorequestionsorsnideremarksfromher.

Diegosearchedthroughtheapartmentuntilhefoundasmallvinylbag,whichhepackedwithenough
clothingtogetMatthewthroughthenextfewdays.Butheknewalreadythathewasgoingtohaveto
dosomeshopping.

The child's few things looked as if they'd been obtained at rummage sales. Probably they had, he
thoughtbitterly,becauseMelissahadsolittle.Hisfault.Eventhatwashisfault.

HelookedinanotherchestofdrawersformoregownsandunderthingsforMelissa,andstoppedas
heliftedagownandfoundasmallphotographtuckedthere.Hetookitoutcarefully.Itwasonethat
Melissahadtakenofhimyearsbefore.He'dbeenastrideoneofhisstallions,wearingapanamahat
and dark trousers with a white shirt unbuttoned over his bronzed chest with its faint feathering of

black hair. He'd been smiling at her as he'd leaned over the neck of the horse to stroke its waving
mane.Onthebackofitwaswritten:Diego,NearAtitlan.Therewasnodate,butthephotowasworn
andwrinkled,asifshe'dcarrieditwithherforalongtime.Andherememberedtothedaywhenshe'd
takenit—thedaybeforethey'dtakenrefugeintheMayanruins.

Heslowlyputitbackunderthegownandfoundsomethingelse.Asmallbookinwhichweretucked
flowers and bits of paper and a thin silver bookmark. He recognized some of the mementos. The
flowers he'd given her from time to time or picked for her when they'd walked across the fields
together. The bits of paper were from things he'd scribbled for her, Spanish words that she'd been
tryingtomaster.Thebookmarkwasonehe'dgivenherforhereighteenthbirthday.Hefrowned.Why
shouldshehavekeptthemalltheseyears?

He put them back, folded the gown gently over them and left the drawer as he'd found it, forcing
himselfnottoconsidertheimplicationsofthoserevealingmementos.

Afterall,shemighthavekeptthemtoremindhermoreofhiscrueltythanofanyfeelingshehadhad
forhim.

Hewentshoppingthenextmorning.HeknewMelissa'ssize,buthe'dhadtocallMrs.Gradytoaskfor
Matthew's.

It disturbed him to buy clothes for another man's child, but he found himself in the toy department
afterward.

Beforehecouldtalkhimselfoutofithe'dfilledabagwithplaythingsforthechild,chidinghimself
mentallyfordoingsomethingsoridiculous.

ButMatthew'sfacewhenheputthepackagesonthesofainMrs.Grady'sapartmentwasarevelation.
Diegosmiledhelplesslyatthechild'sunbridleddelightashetookoutbuildingblocksandelectronic
gamesandasmallremote-controlledrobot.

"He'shadsolittle,poorthing,"Mrs.Gradysighed,smilingasshewatchedtheboygofeverishlyfrom
one toy to another, finally settling down with a small com-puterized teddy bear that talked. "Not
Melly'sfault,ofcourse.Moneywastight.Butit'snicetoseehimwithafewnewthings."

"Si"Diegowatchedthelittleboyandfeltasuddenicyblastofregretforthechildhe'dcausedMelissa
tolose.

He remembered with painful clarity what he'd said to her the night she'd run out into the rain and
pitcheddownthestepsinthewetdarkness.Dios,wouldheneverforget?

He turned away. "I must go. Melissa needed some new gowns. I am taking them to the hospital for
her."

"Howisshe?"

"Muchbetter,gracias.ThedoctorsaysImaytakeherhomeinafewmoredays."Helookeddownat

theheavysetwoman."MatthewwillbegoingwithustoChicago.Iknowhewillmissyou,andMelissa
andIaregratefulforthecareyouhavetakenofhim."

"Itwasmypleasure,"sheassuredhim.

"Thankyouformytoys,mister,"Matthewsaid,suddenlyunderfoot.Hisbigdarkeyeswerehappy.He
liftedhisarmstoDiegotobepickedup;hewasusedtoeasyaffectionfromtheadultsaroundhim.
But the tall man went rigid and looked unapproachable. Matthew stepped back, the happiness in his
eyesfadingtowaryuncertainty.

Heshiftedandranbacktohistoyswithouttryingagain.

Diego hated the emotions sifting through his pride, the strongest of which was self-contempt. How
could he treat a child so coldly—it wasn't Matthew's fault, after all. But years of conditioning had
made it impossible for him to bend. He turned to the door, avoiding Mrs. Grady's disapproving
glance,madehisgoodbyesandleftquickly.

Backatthehospital,whileDiegowenttogethimselfacupofcoffee,Melissahadanursehelpher
intooneofthethreepastelgownsDiegohadbrought.Shewasdelightedwiththepinkone.Ithada
lowbodiceandplentyoflace,andshethoughthowhappyitwouldhavemadeheryearsagotohave
Diegobuyheranything.Buthe'ddonethisoutofpity,sheknew,notoutoflove.

Shethankedhimwhenhecameback."Youshouldn'thavespentsomuch..."Shefaltered,becauseshe
knewthegownsweresilk,notacheapfabric.

Heonlyshrugged."Youwillbewearinggownsforatime,"hesaid,asifthatexplainedhisgenerous
impulse.

HesatdowninthearmchairinthecornerwithaStyrofoamcupofcoffee,whichheproceededtosip.
"Iboughtafewthingsforyourson,"headdedreluctantly.

Hecrossedhislonglegs."Andatoyorso."Hecaughtthelookinhereyes."Hewentfromonetothe
otherlikeabeeinsearchofthebestnectar,"hemusedwithstiffamusement.

Melissaalmostcried.She'dwantedtogivethechildsomanythings,buttherehadn'tbeenanymoney
forluxuries.

"Thankyoufordoingthatforhim,"Melissasaidquietly.

"Ididn'texpectthatyou'ddoanythingforhimunderthecircumstances,muchlessbuyhimexpensive
toys." Her eyes fell from his cold gaze. "I haven't been able to give him very much. There's never
beenanymoneyfortoys."

She was propped up in bed now, and her hair had been washed. It was a pale blonde, curling softly
towardherface,ontoherflushedcheeks.Shewaslovely,hethought,watchingher.Therewasanew
maturityabouther,andthecurvesherememberedweremuchmorewomanlynow.Hiseyesdropped
tothelowbodiceofthenewgownhe'dboughther,andtheynarrowedonthevisibleswellofherpink

breasts.

Shecoloredmoreandstartedtopullupthesheet,buthislean,darkhandpreventedher.

"There is no need for that, Melissa," he said quietly. "You certainly do not expect me to make
suggestiveremarkstoyouunderthecircumstances?"

She shifted. "No. Of course not." She sighed. "I didn't expect you to buy me new gowns," she said,
hopingtodiverthim.Shedidn'tlikethewayitaffectedherwhenhelookedatherthatway."Couldn't
youfindmine?"Andassheaskedthequestion,sherememberedsuddenlyandwithanguishwhatshe'd
hidden under those gowns. Had he seen— He turned away so that she couldn't see his expression.
"Oneglanceinthedrawerwasenoughtoconvincemethattheywereunsuitable,withoutdisturbing
them,"hesaidwithpracticedcarelessness."Doyounotlikethenewones?"

"They'reverynice,"shesaidinadequately.Silk,whenshecouldbarelyaffordcotton.Ofcourseshe
likedthem,butwhyhadhebeensoextravagant?

"HasitbeenlikethissinceyoucametoAmerica?"heasked,glancingather."Haveyoubeensohard-
pressedformoney?"

Shedidn'tlikethequestion.Shestaredatherfoldedhands."Moneyisn'teverything,"shesaid.

"Thelackofitcanbe,"hereplied.Hestraightened,hiseyesnarrowandthoughtful."Thechild'sfather
—couldhenothelpyoufinancially?"

Shegrittedherteeth.Thiswasgoingtobeintolerable.

Sheliftedhercoldgazetohis."No,hecouldn'tbebothered,"shesaidtersely."Andyouneedn'tlook
soself-righteousandaccusing,Diego.Idon'tbelieveforaminutethatyou'vespentthelastfiveyears
withoutawoman."

He didn't answer her. His expression was distant, im-passive. "Has Matthew seen his father?" he
persisted.

Shedidn'tanswerhim.Shedidn'tdare."IrealizethatyoumustresentMatthew,butIdohopeyoudon't
intendtakingoutyourgrievancesonhim,"shesaid.

Heglaredather."AsifIcouldtreatachildso."

"Iwaslittlemorethanachild,"sheremindedhim."Youandyourvenomousfamilyhadnoqualms
abouttreatingmeinjustsuchaway."

"Yes," he admitted, as graciously as he could. He put his hands in his pockets and studied her. "My
grandmotherverynearlyhadabreakdownwhenyouvanished.Shetoldmethenhowyouhadbeen
treated. It was something of a shock. I had not considered that she might feel justified in taking her
vengeanceoutonyou.Ishouldhaverealizedhowshe'dreact,butIwasfeelingtrappedandnottoo
fondofyouwhenIlefttheCasadeLuz."

BeforeMelissacouldrespondtohisunexpectedconfession,thedooropenedandanurse'saidecame
inwithadinnertray.ShesmiledatDiegoandputatrayinfrontofMelissa.Oh,well,Melissathought
asshewasproppedupandherfoodcontainerswereopenedforher,shecouldarguewithhimlater.
Hedidn'tseeminclinedtoleaveheranytimesoon.

"Youeatsolittle,"heremarkedwhensheonlypickedatherfood.

She glanced at him. He sat gracefully in an upholstered armchair beside the window, his long legs
crossed.HelookedveryLatinlikethat,andasimmaculateasever.

Shehadtodraghereyesawaybeforeherexpressiontoldhimhowattractiveshestillfoundhim.

"I'mnotveryhungry."

"Couldyounoteatathicksteaksmotheredinmushroomsandonions,chiquita?"he murmured, his
blackeyestwinklinggentlyforthefirsttimesinceshe'dopenedhereyesandseenhiminherroom.
"Andfriedpotatoesandthickbread?"

"Stop,"shegroaned.

Hesmiled."AsIthought,itisthefoodthatdoesnotappeal.WhenyouarereleasedIwillseetoitthat
youhavepropermeals."

"Ihaveajob"shebegan.

'Which you cannot do until you are completely well again," he reminded her. "I will speak to your
employer"

Shesighed."Itwon'thelp.Theycan'taffordtoholdthepositionopenforsixweeks."

"Istheresomeonewhocanreplaceyou?"

Shethoughtofheryoung,eagerassistant."Oh,yes."

"Thenthereshouldbenoproblem."

Sheglaredathimoverthelastsipofmilk."Iwon'tletyoutakemeover,"shesaid."I'mgratefulfor
yourhelp,butIwantnopartofmarriageeveragain."

"I want it no more than you do, Melissa," he said carelessly, with forced indifference. "But for the
timebeing,neitherofushasanychoice.Asfordivorce—"heshrugged"—thatisnotpossible.But
perhaps a separation or some other arrangement can be made when you are well. Naturally I will
provideforyouandthechild."

"Youwilllikehell,"shesaid,shockinghimnotonlywithherunfamiliarlanguagebutwiththevery
adultandformidableangerinhergrayeyes."Thisisn'tGuatemala.

In America women have equal rights with men. We aren't property, and I'm perfectly capable of

providingforMatthewandmyself."

Hisdarkeyebrowslifted."Indeed?"heaskedlightly.

"AndthisiswhyIfoundyoulivinginabjectpovertywithachildwhowearssecondhandclothingand
hadnotonenewtoyinhispossession?"

Shewantedtoclimboutofbedandhithimovertheheadwithhertray.Hereyestoldhimso."Iwon't
livewithyou."

Heshrugged."Thenwhatwillyoudo,nina?"heasked.

Shethoughtaboutthatforaminuteandfoughtbacktearsofhelplessrage.Shelaybackonthepillows
withaheavysigh."Idon'tknow,"shesaidhonestly.

"Itwillonlybeatemporaryarrangement,"heremindedher."Justuntilyouarewellagain.Youmight
likeChicago,"headded."Thereisalakeandabeach,andmanythingsforasmallboytoexplore."

Shemadeaface."MattandIwillcatchpneumoniaanddieifwehavetospendawinterthere,"shesaid
shortly.

"NeitherofushaseverbeenoutofsouthernArizonainthepastf—"shecorrectedherselfquickly"—
threeyears."

He didn't notice the slip. He was studying her slender body under the sheets. She thought that he'd
spentthepastfiveyearswomanizing.Littledidsheknowthatthememoryofherhaddestroyedany
transientdesirehemighthavefeltforanyotherwoman.Evennowhisdreamswerefilledwithher,
obsessedwithher.SomuchloveinMelissa,buthe'dmanagedtokillitall.Once,he'dbeensureshe
wantedtolovehim,butnowhecouldn'treallyblameherforherreticence.Andhisownfeelingshad
beeninturmoileversincehe'dlearnedaboutthechild.

"Itisspring,"hemurmured."Bywinter,muchcouldhappen."

"I won't live in Guatemala, Diego," she repeated. "And not with your grandmother and sister under
anycircumstances."

Heranarestlesshandthroughhishair."MygrandmotherlivesinBarbadoswithhersister,"hesaid.
"Shestillgrievesforthegreat-grandchildshemighthavehadifnotforourintolerablecoldnessto
you.MysisterismarriedandlivesinMexicoCity."

"Didtheyknowyouwerecominghere?"sheaskedcasually,thoughshedidn'tfeelcasualaboutit.The
se-

horahadbeencruel,andso,despiteherreluctancetosidewithhergrandmother,hadJuana.

"Itelephonedthembothlastnight.Theywishyouwell.

Perhaps one day there may be the opportunity for them to ask your pardon for the treatment you

received."

"Juana tried to be kind," she said. She traced a thread on the sheet. "Your grandmother did not. I
supposeIcanunderstandhowshefelt,butitdidn'tmakeitanyeasierformetostaythere."

"Andyoublamemeforleavingyouathermercy,Es

verdad?"

"Yes,asamatteroffact,Ido,"shereplied,lookingup.

"Youneverallowedmetoexplain.Youautomaticallyconvictedmeoncircumstantialevidenceandset
outtomakemepayforwhatyouthoughtIdid.AndIpaid,"sheaddedicily."IpaidinwaysIwon't
eventellyou."

"Butyouhadyourrevenge,didyounot?"hereturnedwithanequallycoldlaugh."Youtookalover
andhadhischild."

She forced a smile to her pale lips. "You're so good at getting at the truth, Diego," she said mildly.
"I'minaweofyourabilitytoreadminds."

"ApityIhadnosuchabilitywhenyouleftthehospitalwithoutevenbeingdischargedandvanished,"
hereplied.

"Therewasamilitarycoupthesamedayyouleft,andtherewereseveraldeaths."

Ashespokeshesawtheflashofemotioninhisblackeyes.Shehadn'tnoticedbeforehowhauntedhe
looked.

Therewasadeep,darkcoldnessabouthim,andtherewerenewlinesinhisleanface.Helookedhis
ageforonce,andtheoldlazyindifferencesherememberedseemedgoneforever.Thisremote,polite
manwasnothinglikethemanshe'dknowninGuatemala.He'dchangeddrastically.

Thenwhathehadsaidbegantopenetratehertiredmind.

Shefrowned."Severaldeaths?"sheaskedsuddenly.

Helaughedbitterly."Duringthetimethecoupwasaccomplishedtherewereafewisolatedfatalities,
andoneofthebodiescouldnotbeidentified."Hiseyeswentcoldatthememory."Itwasayounggirl
withblondhair."

"Youthoughtitwasme?"sheexclaimed.Hetookaslow,deepbreath.Itwasaminutebeforehecould
answerher.

"Yes,Ithought...itwasyou."

CHAPTERSIX

DIEGO'SQUIETCONFIRMATIONtookMelissa'sbreathaway.Sheknewaboutthecoup,ofcourse.
It was impossible not to know. But at the time her only thought had been of escape. She hadn't
consideredthatdeprivingDiegoofknowledgeofherwhereaboutsmightleadtothesuppositionthat
shewasdead.She'donlybeenconcernedabouthidingherpregnancyfromhim.

"Ifinditveryhardtobelieveyouwereconcerned."

"Concerned!"Heturnedaround,andthelookinhisblackeyeswastheoldonesherememberedfrom
herteens,theonethatcouldmakeeventhemeanestofhismenbackaway.Hiseyeswerelikeblack
steelinhishardface.

"ShallItellyouwhatthatyoungwomanlookedlike,nina?"

She couldn't meet his eyes. "I can imagine how she looked," she said. "But you'll never make me
believeitmatteredtoyou.Iexpectyouweremoreangrythanrelievedtodiscoverthatitwasn'tme.
Howdidyoudiscoverit?"sheadded.

"Yourfathertoldme,"hesaid,movingrestlesslytothewindow."Bythattimeyouhadsuccessfully
madeitintotheUnitedStates,andallmycontactswereunabletotrackyoudown."

Shewantedtoaskalotmorequestions,butthiswasn'tthetime.Shehadotherconcerns.Themainone
was how she was going to manage living with him until she was fully recovered. And more
importantly,howshewasgoingtoprotectMatthewfromhim.

"Idon'twanttogowithyou,Diego,"shesaidhonestly."Iwill,becauseI'venootherchoice.Butyou
needn'texpectmetoworshipthegroundyouwalkonthewayIusedto.

I'vestoppeddreaminginthepastfiveyears."

"And I have barely begun," he replied, his voice deep and soft. His gaze went over her slowly.
"Perhapsitisaswellthatwemeetagainlikethis.Nowyouareoldenoughtodealwiththemanand
not the illusion." He got to his feet with the easy grace Melissa remembered from the past. "I will
returnlater.ImustcheckonMatthew."

Sheturnedunderthesheettokeepherrestlesshandsbusy."TellhimIlovehimandmisshimvery
much,andthatI'llbehomesoon,willyou?"

"Ofcourse."Hehesitated,feelingawkward.'Thechildmissesyou,too."Hesmiledfaintly."Hesaidif
hecouldbeallowedtovisityouhewouldkissthehurtsbetter."

Tearssprangtohereyesandsuddenlyshefeltterriblyalone.Shedabbedatthetearswiththesheet,
butDiegodrewoutaspotlesswhitehandkerchiefandwipedthemaway.Thehandkerchiefsmelledof
the cologne he favored and brought back vivid memories of him. Her eyes lifted, and she gazed at
him.Foronelonginstant,timerolledawayandshewasagirlwiththemanshelovedmorethanher

ownlife.

"Enamorada"hebreathedhuskily,hisblackeyesunblinking,smoldering."Ifyouknewhowemptythe
yearshavebeen—"

Thesuddenopeningofthedoorwaslikeagunshot.

Melissaglancedthatwayasasmilingnurse'saidecameintotheroomtocheckhervitalsigns.Diego
smiled at the woman, his expression only slightly strained, and left with a brief comment about the
time.Melissaclutchedhishandkerchieftightlyinherhand,wantingnothingmorethantheluxuryof
tears.Shewasinpainandhelpless,andshewasmuchtoovulnerablewithDiego.Shedidn'tdarelet
him see how she felt or make one slip that would give away Matthew's parentage. She had to bank
downherhiddendesireandhideitfromhim—nowmorethanever.

ShewasgratefulDiegohadleft,becausethelookinhisblackeyeswhenhe'dheldthathandkerchief
tohereyeshadbroughtbackthemostpainfulkindofmemories.Hestillwantedher,ifthatlookwas
anythingtogoby,eventhoughhedidn'tloveortrusther.Perhapsthatmighthavebeenenoughfor
her,butitwouldn'tbeforMatthew.

Matthewdeservedafather,notareluctantguardian.Itwouldbehardestforhim,becauseofDiego's
resentment.

ButtellingDiegothetruthcouldcostherthechild,andatatimewhenshewasn'tcapableoffighting
forhim.She'dhavetobidehertime.

Meanwhile,atleastshecouldbetemporarilyfreeoffinancialterrors.Andthatwassomething.

SEVERAL DAYS LATER, Melissa was released from the hospital and Diego took her to the hotel
wherehewasstaying.HehadcharteredaplanetotakeMelissatoChicagothenextday,aluxuryshe
wasreluctantlygratefulfor.

ShepleadedtolethercomealongwhenhewenttoMrs.

Grady'stopickupMatthew,buthewouldn'tallowit.Shewastooweak,heinsisted.Sohewenttoget
theboyandMelissalaysmolderingquietlyinoneofthebigdoublebedsintheexquisitehotelsuite,
uncomfortableandangry.

Itonlytookafewminutes.ThedoorwasunlockedandMatthewrantowardherlikealittletornado,
crying and laughing as he threw himself onto her chest and held her, mumbling and muttering
throughhistears.

"Oh, my baby," she cooed, smiling as she smoothed his brown hair and sighed over him. It was
difficulttoreachoutbecauseherstitchesstillpulled,butshedidn'tcomplain.Shehadherbabyback.

Diego,watchingthem,glaredatthesightofherblondheadbentoverthatdarkone.Hewasjealousof
the boy, and more especially of the boy's father. He hated the very thought of Melissa's body in
anotherman'sarms,anotherman'sbed.Hehatedthethoughtofthechildshe'dborneherlover.

MelissalaughedasMattliftedhiselectronicbearandmadeittalkforher.

"Isn'thenice?"Mattasked,alleyes."My...your...Mr.

Manboughthimforme.""Diego,"sheprompted.

"Diego,"Matthewparroted.Heglancedatthetallmanwho'dbeensoquietanddistantallthewayto
thehotel.

Mattwasn'tsureifhelikedDiegoornot,buthewascertainthatthetallmandidn'tlikehim.Itwas
goingtobeveryhardlivingwithamanwhomadehimfeelsounwelcome.

Melissatouchedthepalelittlecheek."Youneedsunshine,myson,"shemurmured."You'vespenttoo
muchtimeindoors."

Diegoputdownthecasesandlitasmallcheroot,pausingtoopenthecurtainsbeforedroppingintoan
easychairtosmokeitatthetablebesidethewindow."IhaveengagedasitterforMatthew,sinceIwill
beawayfromtheapartmentagooddealwhenwegettoChicago,"hetoldMelissa."Perhapsthesitter
willtakehimtotheparkorthebeach."

Melissafeltthehaironthebackofherneckbristle.Hereshe'dbeentheverymodelofaprotective,
caringmother,makingsureMattwasalwayssupervised,andnowDiegocamealongandthoughthe
couldshiftresponsibilityontoatotalstrangeraboutwhomsheknewnothing.

SheclaspedMatt'swaisttightly."No,"shesaidfirmly."Ifhegoesanywhere,itwillbewithme."

Diego's eyebrows lifted. She was overly protective of the child, that was obvious. Mrs. Grady had
intimated something of the sort; now he could see that the older woman had been right. Something
wouldhavetobedoneaboutthat,hedecided.Itwasn'thealthyforamothertobesosheltering.Aboy
whoclungtohismother'saproncouldhardlygrowintoastrongman.

He crossed his legs and smoked his cheroot while his narrowed eyes surveyed woman and child.
"Willyoucondemnhimtofourwallsandyourowncompany?"

Shesatup,wincingasshepiledpillowsbehindher."I'llbeabletogetupandaroundinnotime,"she
protested.

"Oh,yes,"heagreedblandly,watchingherstruggle.

"Alreadyyoucansitupbyyourself."

Shegavehimherbestglare."Icanwalk,too."

"Notwithoutfallingover,"hemurmured,watchingthecherootwithafaintsmileasherecalledher
lastattempttouseherdamagedleg.

"I'llholdyouup,Mama,"Mattassuredher."I'mverystrong."

"Yes,Iknowyouare,mydarling,"shesaid,hervoicesoftandloving.Themansittinginthechairfelt
anexplosiveangerthatshecaredsomuchforanotherman'schild.

"Whatwouldyoulikefordinner?"heaskedsuddenly,gettingup."Icangetroomservicetobringa
tray."

"Steakandasaladforme,please,"shesaid."Mattwantsafish."Thelittleboylookedup,nervousand
unsure,clingingtohismother'sarm.

'Theymaynothavefish,Matt,"Melissabegan.

"Theyhaveit,"Diegosaidstiffly."Ihadfishlastnight."

"Coffeeforme,andmilkforMatt,"shesaid,turningawayfromthecoldnessofDiego'sfaceashe
lookedatherson.

Henodded,abareinclinationofhishead,andwenttotelephone.

"Mr.Mandoesn'tlikeMatt,"Matthewsaidwithasadlittlesigh."Doesn'thehaveanychildren?"

Melissawantedtocry,butsheknewthatwouldn'tsolveanything.SheonlyhopedDiegodidn'thear
thelittleboyassheshushedhimandshookherhead.

Diegodidn'tturnorflinch,butheheard,allright.Itmadethesituationallthemoredifficult.Hehadn't
realizedhowperceptivechildrenwere.

Dinnerwasservedfromapushcartbyawhite-coatedwaiter,andMatthewtookhistothefarsideof
the table, as if he wanted a buffer between himself and the tall man who didn't like him. Diego sat
beside Melissa, and she tried not to smell the exotic cologne he wore or notice the strength of his
powerful, slender body next to hers. He was the handsomest man she'd ever seen, and as he cut his
steakshehadtofightnottoslideherfingersoverthedark,leanhandholdingtheknife.

DiegofinishedfirstandwenttothelobbyonthepretextofgettingMelissasomethingtoread.Infact
he wanted to get away from the boy's sad little face, with its big, haunting black eyes. He hated his
ownreactionsbecausetheywerehurtingthatinnocentlittlechildwho,underdifferentcircumstances,
mighthavebeenhisown.

Hewenttotheloungeandhadawhiskeysour,ignoringtheblatantoverturesofaslinkyblondewho
obviously found him more than attractive. He finished his drink and his cheroot and went back
upstairs,takingamagazineforMelissaandacoloringbookandcrayonsforMatt.

MelissahadMattcurledupbesideheronthecouch,andtheybothtensedtheminutehewalkedin.His
chinlifted.

"Ibroughtacoloringbookfortheboy,"hesaidhesitantly.

Mattdidn'tmove.Helookedup,waiting,withoutanyexpressiononhisface.

Diegotookthebookandthecrayonsandofferedthemtohim,butstillMattdidn'tmakeamove.

"Don'tyouwantthebook,Matt?"Melissaaskedsoftly.

"No.Hedoesn'tlikeMatt,"Mattsaidsimply,loweringhiseyes.

Diego frowned, torn between pain and his desire for vengeance. The child touched him in ways he
had never dreamed of. He saw himself in the little boy, alone and frightened and sad. His own
childhoodhadbeenanunhappyone,becausehisfatherhadnevertrulylovedhismother.Hismother
had known it, and suffered for it. She had died young, and his father had become even more
withdrawn.Then,whenhisfatherhadmetthelovelySheila,theolderman'sattitudehadchangedfor
thebetter.

Butthechangehadbeenshort-lived—andthatlossofhopeDiegoowedtoMelissa'sfamily,because
hisfatherhaddiedlovingSheilaSterling,lovingherwithahopelesspassionthathewasneverableto
indulge.ThelosshadwarpedhimandDiegohadseenwhatlovingawomancoulddotoaman,and
hehadlearnedfromit.Allowingawomancloseenoughtolovewasalltoodangerous.

Buttheboy...itwashardlyhisfault.HowcouldheblameMattforMelissa'sfailings?

He put the coloring book and the crayons gently on the table by the sofa and handed Melissa the
women'smagazinehe'dboughtforher.Thenhewentbacktohischairandsatsmokinghischeroot,
glancingthroughasheafofpapersinafile.

"I'm going to read, Matt," Melissa said gently, nudging him to stand up. "You might as well try out
yourcrayons.

Doyourememberhowtocolor?"

Mattglancedattheman,whowasoblivioustothemboth,andthenatthecrayonsandcoloringbook.
"It'sallright?"

heaskedhismotherworriedly.

"It'sallright,"sheassuredhim.

Hesighedandgotdownonthefloor,sprawlingwithcrayonseverywhere,andbegantocoloroneof
hisfavoritecartooncharacters.

Diegolookedupthenandsmiledfaintly.Melissa,watchinghim,wassurprisedbyhispatience.She'd
forgotten how gentle he could be. But then it had been a long time since she and Diego had been
friends.

Theyhadanearlynight.MelissaalmostspokewhenDiegoinsistedthatMattpickuphiscrayonsand
putthemawayneatly.Butshedidn'ttakethechild'sside,becausesheknewDiegowasright.Oftenshe
waslessfirmwithMattthansheshouldbebecauseshewasusuallysotiredfromherjob.

She helped Matt into his pajamas and then looked quickly at Diego, because there were two double
beds.Shedidn'twanttobeclosetoherestrangedhusband,butshedidn'tknowhowtosayitinfront
ofMatt.

Diegostoleherthunderneatlybysuggestingthattheboybunkdownwithher.Itwasonlyfortheone
night,becausetherewerefourbedroomsintheChicagoapartment.Mattwouldhavehisownroom.
Yes, Melissa thought, and that's when the trouble would really start, because she and Matt had been
forcedtosharearoom.

She could only afford a tiny efficiency apartment with a sofa that folded out to make a bed. Matt
wasn'tusedtobeingaloneatnight,andshewonderedhowtheyweregoingtocope.

But she didn't want to borrow trouble. She was tired and nervous and apprehensive, and there was
worsetocome.

Sheclosedhereyesandwenttosleep.Andshedidn'tdream.

Thenextmorning,theyleftforChicago.DespitethecomfortofthecharteredLearjet,Melissawas
still sore and uncomfortable. She had her medicine, and the attending physician at the hospital had
referredhertoadoctorinChicagoincaseshehadanycomplications.Ifonlyshecouldsitbackand
enjoytheflightthewayMatthewwas,shethought,watchinghisanimatedyoungfaceashepeeredout
the window and asked a hundred questions about airplanes and Chicago. Diego unbent enough to
answerafewofthem,althoughhediditwithfaintreluctance.ButMattseemeddeterminednowtowin
himover,andDiegowasn'tallthatdistantthismorning.

BackintheolddaysinGuatemala,MelissahadneverthoughtaboutthekindoffatherDiegowould
make.Inherworldofdaydreams,romancehadbeenheronlyconcern,nottheday-to-daylifethata
manandawomanhadtoconcernthemselveswithafterthewildnessofin-fatuationworeoff.Now,
watching her son with his father, she realized that Diego really liked children. He was patient with
Matthew, treating each new question as if it were of the utmost importance. He hadn't completely
gottenovertheshockofthechild,sheknew,andtherewassomereserveinhimwhenhewaswiththis
boyhethoughtwasanotherman'sson.Buthewaspolitetothechild,andonceortwiceheactually
seemedamusedbyMatt'sexcitement.

Hewasthesoulofcourtesy,butMelissacouldn'thelpthinkinghe'dmuchratherbetravelingalone.
Nevertheless,hecarriedherofftheplaneandtoawaitinglimousineforthetriptotheLincolnPark
apartment he maintained, and she had to grind her teeth to keep from reaching up and kissing his
hard, very masculine mouth as he held her. She hoped he didn't see how powerfully his nearness
affectedher.Shewasstillvulnerable,evenafteralltheyearsapart,butshedidn'tdarelethimseeit
Shecouldn'tlethimdestroyherprideagainashehadoncebefore.

Theapartmentwasapenthousethatoverlookedtheparkandtheshoreline,withthecityskylinelikea
graysilhouetteontherainyhorizon.Melissawasputtobedatonceinoneoftheguestbedroomsand
told to rest while Matthew explored the apartment and Diego introduced Melissa to Mrs. Albright,
who was to do the baby-sitting as well as the cooking and cleaning. Apollo had recommended the
pleasant,heavysetwoman,andshe'dbeentakingcareoftheapartmentforDiegoforoverayearnow.

Mrs.Albrightwasmiddle-agedandgraying,withasweetfaceandapersonalitytomatch.Shetook
Melissacoffeeandcakeinbedandsetaboutmakingherascomfortableaspossible,insistingthatshe
stayinbedtorecuperatefromthelongflight.ThenshetookMattofftothekitchentospoilhimwith
tiny homemade cream cakes and milk while she listened to his happy chatter about the flight from
Tucson.

OncetheboyandMelissaweresettled,Diegopickedupthephoneandpunchedinanumber.

Melissa heard him, but she couldn't make out many of the words. It sounded as though he were
speakingtoApollo,andinfacthewas,becauseApolloshowedupattheapartmentanhourlaterwith
aslender,petiteblackwoman.

Diego introduced the tall, muscular black man in the gray suit. 'This is Apollo Blain. Perhaps you
rememberhim."

Apollosmiledandnodded,andMelissasmiledback.

"AndthisisJoyceLatham,Apollo'ssecretary."

"Temporarily,"ApollosaidwithacurtnodinJoyce'sdirection.

"That'sright,temporarily,"JoycesaidinaliltingWestIndianaccent,glaringupatthetallman."Just
untiltheverysecondIcanfindanybodybraveenoughtotakemyplace."

Apolloglowereddownather."Amen,sister,"hebitoff.

"AndwithanyluckI'llgetsomebodywhocanrememberadamnedtelephonenumberlongenoughto
dialitandwhocanfilemyclientsalphabeticallysoIcanfindthefiles!"

"AndmaybeI'llgetabosswhocanread!"Joyceshotback.

"Enough!"Diegolaughed,gettingbetweenthem.

"Melissahassurvivedonedisaster.Shedoesn'tneedtobethrustintoanewone,PORfavor"

Apollogrinnedsheepishly."Sorry.Igotcarriedaway."

HeshotaspeakingglanceatJoyce.

"Me,too,"shemuttered,shiftingsothatshewasalittleawayfromhim.Herfeaturesweren'tpretty,
but her eyes were lovely, as deep and black as a bottomless pool, and her coffee-with-cream
complexionwasblemishless.Shehadanicefigure,probably,butthefloppyuninspiredbluedressshe
waswearinghidthatverywell.

"It'snicetomeetyou,"Melissatoldthewoman,smiling.

"IrememberApollofromyearsago,ofcourse.Howlonghaveyouworkedforhim?"

"Twoweekstoolong,"Joycemuttered.

"That'sright,twoweeksandonedaytoolong,"Apolloadded."DutchandJ.D.arecomingoverlater,
andShirtsaysheandhismissusaregoingtoflyuptoseeyounextweek.It'llbelikeareunion."

"Irememberourlastreunion,"Diegosaid,smilingfaintly.

"Wewereevictedfromthesuiteweoccupiedatthreeinthemorning."

"Andoneofuswasarrested,"Apollosaidsmugly.

"Thatso?"Joyceaskedhim."Howlongdidtheykeepyouinjail?"

Heglared."Notme.Diego."

"Diego?" Melissa stared at him in disbelief. The cool, careless man she knew wasn't hotheaded
enoughtolandhimselfinjail.Butperhapsshedidn'treallyknowhimatall.

"He took exception to some remarks about his Latin heritage," Apollo explained with a glance at
Diego,whoseexpressiongavenothingaway."Thegentlemanmakingtheremarkswasverybigand
very mean, and to make a long story short, Diego assisted the gentleman into the hotel swimming
poolthroughaplate-glasswindow."

"Itwasalongtimeago."DiegoturnedasMatthewcamerunningintotheroom.

"Youhave to comesee my drawing,Mama," the boy saidurgently, tugging athis mother's hand. "I
drewapuppydogandabee!Comelook!"

"Momento,Matthew,"Diegosaidfirmly,holdingtheboystill.Heintroducedthevisitors,whosmiled
down warmly at the child. "You can show your drawings to Mama in a moment, when our visitors
havegone,allright,littleone?"

"Allright."Matthewsighed.Hesmiledathismamaandwentshylypastthevisitorsandbacktohis
crayons.

Apollo said, "He's a mirror image of you..." The last word trailed away under the black fury of
Diego'seyes.Heclearedhisthroat."Well,we'dbettergetbacktowork.

We'llbeoverwiththeotherstonight.Butwewon'tstaylong.Wedon'twanttowearoutthemissus,
anddon'tlayonfood.Justdrinks.Okay?"

"Andwe'llcomeinseparatecarsnexttime,"Joycegrumbled,dartingaglanceattheblackman."His
ideaofcitydrivingistoaimthecarandclosehiseyes."

"Icoulddriveifyoucouldstopputtingyourhandsoveryoureyesandmakingthosenoises,"heshot
back.

"Iwastryingtosaymyprayers!"

"Seeyoulater,"ApollotoldMelissaandDiego.HetookJoycebythearmandhalfled,halfdragged
heroutoftheapartment.

"Don'ttheymakeasweetcouple?"Melissamurmureddrylywhenthey'dgone."Iwonderiftheyboth
carrylifeinsurance...?"

Diegosmiledfaintlyatthemischiefinhereyes."Aninterestingobservation,SenoraLaremos.Now,
ifthereisnothingIcandoforyou,youcanpraiseyourson'sartwhileIgetbacktowork."

Her pale gray eyes searched his face, looking for revelations, but there were none in that stony
countenance.

"ItoffendedyouthatApollomentionedaresemblance."

"The boy's father obviously had some Ladino blood," he countered without expression. He put his
handsinhispockets,andhisblackeyesnarrowed."Youwillnotdivulgeyourlover'sidentity,even
now?"

"Whyshoulditmattertoyou?"sheasked."IhadtheimpressionwhenIleftGuatemalathatitwouldbe
toosoonifyouneversawmeagain."

"Itriedtotalktoyouatthetime.Youwouldnotlisten,soIassumedthatmyfeelingswouldhaveno
effectonyou."

"Do you have any feelings?" she asked suddenly. "My father said once that if you did it would take
dynamitetogettothem."

He stood watching her, his slightly wavy black hair thick and clean where it shone in the light, his
eyeswatchful.

"ConsideringthelineofworkIwasin,Melissa,isthatsosurprising?Icouldnotaffordtheluxuryof
givingintomyemotions.Ithasbeenbothaprotectionandacurseinlateryears.PerhapsifIhadnot
beensoreticentwithyouthepastfiveyearswouldnothavebeenwasted."

Herpulsejumped,butshekeptherexpressioncalmsohewouldn'tseehowhiswordsaffectedher."I
understood,"

shereplied."EventhoughIwasyoung,Iwasn'tstupid."

"Hadyounoideawhatwouldhappenwhenyouledmeintothatsweettrap,Melissa?"heaskedwitha
bitterlaugh.

"Itwasn'tatrap,"shesaiddoggedly."I'dwrittenalotofsillylovepoemsandscribbledsomebrazen
notetoyouthatImeanttodestroy.I'dneverhavehadthenervetosendittoyou."Shecoloredfaintly
at the memory. "I tried to tell you, and my father, that it was a mistake, but neither of you would
listen."Herfingerstoyedwiththehemofherpinkblouse."Ilovedyou,"shesaidunderherbreath.
Her eyes were closed, and she missed the expression that washed over his face. "I loved you more

thanmyownlife,andDadwasonthevergeofsendingmeawaytocollege.IknewthatI'dneversee
youagain.

Every second I had with you was precious, and that's why I gave in. It wasn't planned, and it wasn't
meanttobeatrap."Shelaughedcoldly."TheironyofitallisthatIwasstupidenoughtobelievethat
youmightcometolovemeifwelivedtogether.Butyouleftmewithyourfamilyandwentaway,and
whenyoucamebackandItriedsodesperatelytocatchyourattention—"Shecouldn'tgoon.

Thememoryofhiscontemptuousrejectionwastoovivid.

Sheavertedhereyes."IknewthenthatI'dbeenlivinginadaydream.IhadwhatIwanted,butthrough
force,notthroughchoice.LeavingwasthefirstintelligentdecisionImade."

Hefeltasifshe'dhithimwitharock."Areyoutellingmethatyoudidn'thavemarriageinmind?"

"OfcourseIhadmarriageinmind,butInevermeantyoutobeforcedintoit!"sheburstout,tears
threateninginhereyes."Ilovedyou.Iwastwentyandthere'dneverbeenanotherman,andyouwere
myworld,Diego!"

His tall, elegant body tautened. He'd never let himself think about it, about what had motivated her.
Perhaps,deepinside,he'dknownallalonghowshefeltbuthadn'tbeenabletofaceit.Hedrewathin
cherootfromhispocketandlititabsently."Iwenttoseeyourfatherafterheconfirmedthatyouwere
still alive. He told me nothing, except that you despised me and that you never wanted to see me
again."Heliftedhisgazeandstaredather."Iwasdeterminedtohearthatformyself,ofcourse,soI
keptsearching.Buttonoavail."

"IusedmymaidennamewhenIappliedforUnitedStatescitizenship,"sheexplained,"andIlivedin
bigcities.

AfterIwassettled,IcontactedmyfatherandbeggedhimnottoletyouknowwhereIwas.Later,when
theattorneycalledandtoldmeaboutmyfather'sdeath,Igrieved.ButIdidn'thaveenoughmoneyto
gotothefuneral.Eventhen,Ipleadedwiththelawyernottorevealmywhereabouts.Ididn'treally
thinkyou'dcomelookingformewhenyouknewI'd—"sheforcedoutthelie"—lostthebaby,butI
hadtobesure."

"Youweremyresponsibility,"hesaidstiffly."Youstillare.Ourreligiondoesnotpermitdivorce."

"My memory doesn't permit reconciliation," she said shortly. "I'll stay here until I'm able to work
again,butthat'sall.I'mresponsibleformyselfandmyson.Youhavenoplaceinmylife,orinmy
heart,anymore."

Hefoughtbackthesurgeofmiseryherstatementen-gendered."AndMatthew?"

Shepushedbackherhair."Matthewdoesn'tconcernyou.

Hethinksyouhatehim,andhe'sprobablyright.ThesoonerIgethimawayfromherethebetter."

Heturnedgracefully,staringhardather."DidyouexpectthatIcouldaccepthimsoeasily?Heisthe
veryproofthatyouremotionswerenotinvolvedwhenweweretogether.

Ifyouhadlovedme,Melissa,therecouldneverhavebeenanotherman.Never!"

Andthatwasthecruxoftheentireproblem,shethought.

Hedidn'trealizethathewasstatingafact.Ifhe'dtrustedher,he'dhaveknownthatshelovedhimtoo
muchtotakealover.Buthedidn'ttrusther.Hedidn'tknowher.He'dnevermadetheefforttoknow
herinanywayexceptthephysical.

Shelaybackonthepillows,exhausted."Ican'tfight,Diego.I'mtootired."

Henodded."Iknow.Youneedrest.Wecantalkwhenyouaremorefit."

"I hope you didn't expect me to fall in line like the little slave I used to be around you," she said,
liftingcoldeyestohis.

"Ilikeverymuchthewayyouarenow,nina,"hesaidslowly,hisaccentevenmorepronouncedthan
usual.Hisdarkeyessmolderedashedrewthemoverherbody."Awomanwithfireinherveinsisa
moreinterestingprop-ositionthanaworshipfulchild."

"Youwon'tstartanyfireswithme,senor,"shesaidhaughtily.

'Esverdad?"Hemovedslowlytothebedand,leaningonelongarmacrossher,staredintohereyes
fromscantinchesaway."Becarefulbeforeyouslingoutchallenges,myown,"hesaidinthedeep,
softvoicesherememberedsowellwhisperingSpanishlovewordsinthesilenceoftheMayanruins.
"Imighttakeyouuponthem."Hebentcloser,andshecouldalmostfeelthehardwarmthofhismouth
against her parted lips, faintly smoky, teasing her mouth with the promise of the kisses she'd once
starvedfor.

She made a sound deep in her throat, a tormented little sob, and turned her face against the pillow,
closinghereyestight."No,"shewhispered."Oh,don't!"

Shefelthisbreathagainstherlips.Then,abruptly,hepushedaway,shakingthebedandstoodup.He
turnedawaytolightacheroot."Thereisnoneedforsuchvirginalterror,"hesaidstifflyashebegan
tosmokeit.

"Yourvirtueissafewithme.Imeantonlytotease.IlostmytasteforyouthedayIlearnedjusthow
thirstyyouwereforvengeance."

Shewasgratefulforhisanger.Ithadsparedherthehumiliationofbeggingforhiskisses.Because
shewasn'tlookingathisface,shedidn'trealizethatherrejectionhadbruisedhisegoandconvinced
himthatshenolongerwantedhiskisses.

Hegotcontroloverhisscatteredemotions."Themanwhoreplacedmeinyouraffections—Matthew's
father—whereishenow,Melissa?"

Hereyesclosed.Sheprayedfordeliverance,anditcameintheformofMatthew,whocamerunning
intoseewhyMamahadn'tcometolookathisdrawings.

Melissa got up very slowly and allowed Matt to lead her into his bedroom, her steps hesitant and
withoutconfidence.Shedidn'tlookatDiego.

Thatnight,Mrs.AlbrightbathedMatthewandputhimtobedsothatDiegoandMelissawouldbefree
togreettheirguests.Melissa'slegstillmadewalkingdifficult,asdidtheincisionwhereherovaryhad
been removed. She managed to bathe and dress alone, but she was breathless when Diego came to
carryherintothelivingroom.

He stopped in the doorway, fascinated by the picture she made in the pale blue silky dress that
emphasized her wavy blond hair, gray eyes and creamy complexion. She'd lost weight, but she still
hadsuchalovelyfigurethatevenherslendernessdidn'tdetractfromit.

Diego was wearing a dark suit, and his white shirt emphasized his very Latin complexion and his
blackhairandeyes.Itwassosweetjusttolookathim,tobewithhim.Melissahadn'trealizedhow
emptytheyearswithouthimhadbeen,butnowtheimpactofhiscompanywasfierce.

Shehadbarelyaminutetosavoritbeforethedoorbellrangandtheguestscamein.ApolloandJoyce
weretogether,ifreluctantly,andMelissamusedthatsincetheblackmanhatedhissecretarysomuch
itwasoddthathe'dbringheralongonasocialcall.Behindthemwasaslenderblondmanwiththe
masculineperfectionofamoviestarandamountainofamanwithdark,wavyhair.

Diegointroducedtheblondman."Eric'Dutch'vanMeer.Andthis—"hesmiledtowardthebigman
"—isArcher,betterknownasJ.D.Brettman.Gentlemen,mywife,Melissa."

They smiled and said all the right things, but Melissa could tell that they were surprised that Diego
hadnevermentionedher.Theyapologizedfornotbringingthen-wives,DanielleandGabby,buttheir
children had given each other a virus and they were at home nursing them. Melissa would be
introducedtothematalatertime.

Melissasmiledback."I'lllookforwardtothat,"shesaidpolitely.Thesemenmadeheroddlynervous,
becauseshedidn'tknowthemassheknewApollo.Theyformedintoagroupandbegantalkingabout
work,andMelissafeltveryisolatedfromherhusbandashespokewithhisoldcomrades.Shecould
seetherealaffectionhefeltforthem.Whatapitythathehadnonetogiveher.Butwhatshouldshe
haveexpectedunderthecircumstances?Diegowasresponsibleforher,ashe'dsaid.Hewasonlyher
caretaker until she was well again, and she'd better remember that. There might be the occasional
flare-up of the old attraction, but she couldn't allow herself to dream of a reconciliation. It was
dangeroustodream—dreamscouldbecomeapainfulreality.

JoycehadeasedawayfromtheotherstositbesideMelissaonthehugecornersofa."Ifeelasoutof
placeasagreenbeaninagourmetice-creamshop,"shemumbled.

Melissalaughedinspiteofherself."SodoI,solet'ssticktogether,"shewhispered.

Joycestraightenedtheskirtofherbeigedress.Herlonghairwasalittleunkempt,andsheslumped.

Melissathoughtwhatashameitwasthatthewomandidn'ttakecarewithherappearance.Withalittle
work,shecouldbeaknockout.

"HowdidyouwindupworkingforApollo?"Melissaasked.

Theotherwomansmiledruefully."Iwasnewtothecity—ImovedherefromMiami—andIsignedup
withatemporaryagency."SheglancedatApollowithmorewarmththansheseemedtorealize."They
sentmetohimandhetriedtosendmerightback,buttheagencywasshorthanded,sohewasstuck
withme."

"Hedoesn'tseemtomindtoomuch,"Melissamurmureddryly."Afterall,mostbossesdon'ttaketheir
secretariesalongonsocialengagements."

Joyce sighed. "Oh, that. He thought you might feel uncomfortable around all these men. Since the
wivescouldn'tcome,hereIam."Shegrinned."I'mkindofgladthatIwasinvited,youknow.I'mnot
exactlyfloodedwithsocialinvitations."

"Iknowwhatyoumean,"Melissasaid,smiling."Thanksforcoming."

As Apollo had promised, they didn't stay long. But as the men said their goodbyes and left, J.D.
BrettmanshotanopenlycuriousglanceinMelissa'sdirection.

Later,whentheguestshadgone,MelissaaskedDiegoaboutitasheremovedhisjacketandtieand
loosenedthetopbuttonsofhisshirt.

"WhywasMr.Brettmansocuriousaboutme?"sheaskedgently.

He poured himself a brandy, offered her one and was refused, and dropped gracefully into the
armchair across from her. "He knew there was a woman somewhere in my life," he said simply.
'TherewasarumortotheeffectthatIhadhurtoneverybadly."Heshrugged."Servantstalk,yousee.
Itwasknownthatyoufellandwererushedtothehospital."Asheliftedthebrandytohislips,hiseyes
hadasad,farawaylook."IimagineitwassaidthatIpushedyou."

"Butyoudidn't!"

Hisdarkeyescaughthers."DidInot?"Hischinlifted,andhelookedveryLatin,veryattractive."It
wasbecauseofmethatyouranintothenight.Iwasresponsible."

Sheloweredhergaze."I'msorrythatpeoplethoughtthataboutyou.Iwastoodesperateatthetimeto
thinkhowitmightlooktooutsiders."

"Noimporta"hesaidfinally."Itwasalongtimeago,afterall."

"I need to check on Matthew. Mrs. Albright left with the others." She started to stand, but the torn
ligament was still tricky and painful, like the incision. She stood very still to catch her breath and
laughedself-consciously."IguessI'mnotquiteuptothehundred-yarddash."

Hegotuplazilyandputhissnifterdown.Hisarmswentunderher,liftingherwithridiculousease.
"Youarestillweak,"hemurmuredashewalkeddownthelonghall."Itwilltaketimeforyoutoheal
properly."

She had to fight not to lay her cheek against his shoulder, drinking in the scent of his cologne,
savoringthewarmthofhisbodyanditsleanstrengthashecarriedher."Ilikeyouroldcomrades,"
sheremarkedquietly.

"Theylikeyou."HecarriedherthroughtheopendoortoMatthew'sroomandletherslidegentlyto
her feet. The little boy was sleeping, his long lashes black against his olive skin, his dark hair
disheveledonthewhitepillow.

Diegostareddownathimquietly.

Melissasawthelookonhisfaceandalmostblurtedoutthetruth.Ittookeveryounceofwillpowerin
hertokeepstill.

"There is so little of you in him," he said, his voice deep and softly accented. "Except for his hair,
whichhastracesofyourfairnessinit."Heturned,hiseyeschallenging.

"HisfatherwasLadino,Melissa?"

Shewentbeetred.Shetriedtospeak,butthewordswouldn'tcome.

"Youlovedme,yousaid,"hepersisted.Hiseyesnarrowed."Ifthatwasso,thenhowcouldyougive
yourself,eventoavengethewoundsIcausedyou?"

Sheknewshewasbarelybreathing.Shefeltandlookedhunted.

"Whatwashisname?"heasked,movingclosersothathetoweredoverher,warmingher,drowning
herintheexquisitescentofthecolognehewore.

Herlipsparted."I...youdon'tneedtoknow,"shewhispered.

Heframedherfacewithhisdark,leanhands,holdinghereyesuptohis."Wheredidyoumeethim?"

She swallowed. His black eyes filled the world. In the dim light from Matthew's lamp, he seemed
huge,dangerous.

"Diego..."

"Yes,"hebreathed,bendingtohersoftmouth."Yes,sayitlikethat,querida.Saymyname,breatheit
intomymouth...."

Hebrushedherlipsapartwiththesoftdruggingpressureofhisown,teasing,cherishing.Hernervous
handslingeredathishardwaist,lostinthewarmthofhisbodyunderthesilkywhiteshirt.Shehadn't
meanttogiveinsoeasily,buttheoldattractionwaseverybitasover-whelmingasithadbeenyears
ago.Shewaspowerlesstostopwhatwashappening.

Andheknewit.Hesighedgentlyagainsthermouth,tiltingherheadatamoreaccommodatingangle.
Then the gentleness left him. She felt his mouth growing harder, more insistent. He whispered
something in Spanish, and his hands slid into her hair, dragging her mouth closer under his. He
groanedandshemovedagainsthim,herbodytremblingwiththeneedtobeclosetohim,toholdhim.
Herarmsslidaroundhim,andsuddenlyhisarmswerearoundher,moldingherbodytohiswitha
pressurethatwaspainfulheaven.

Shegaspedunderhisdemandingmouthandhestoppedatonce.Heliftedhishead,andhiseyeswere
fierceanddark,hisbreathingasquickashers.

"I hurt you?" he asked roughly. And then he seemed to come to his senses. He released her slowly,
movingaway.

Heturnedhiseyesbrieflytothestill-sleepingchild."Imustaskyourpardonforthat,"hesaidstiffly.
"Itwasnotintended."

Shedroppedhergazetotheopeningofhiswhiteshirt,wheredarkoliveskinandblackhairpeeked
out."It'sallright,"shesaidhesitantly,butshecouldn'tlookupanyfartherthanhischin.

Heshiftedrestlessly,hisbodyachingforthewarmsoftnessofhers,hismindburningwithconfused
emotions.Heraisedherhead."Perhapsitwouldbewiseforyoutogotobed."

Shewasn'tabouttoargue."No,I...youdon'tneedtocarryme,"sheprotestedwhenhemovedtoward
her."Icanmanage.Ineedtostartexercisingmyleg.Butthanksanyway."

Henodded,standingasidetoletherleave.Hisdarkeyesfollowedherhungrily,butwhenshewasout
of sight they turned to the sleeping child. His face was so like Melissa's, he thought quietly. But the
boy's Spanish heritage was evident. He wondered if Melissa still loved the boy's father or thought
abouthim.

Thebitternesshefeltdrovehimfromthechild'sroomandintohisstudy.Andnotuntilhehadworked
himselfintoexhaustiondidhefallintohisbedtosleep.

CHAPTERSEVEN

THE ATMOSPHERE AT BREAKFAST was strained. Melissa had hardly slept, remembering with
painful clarity her headlong response to Diego's ardor. If only she could have kept up the front,
convincedhimthatshewasn'tattractedtohimanymore.She'dalmostaccomplishedthat,andthenhe'd
cometoocloseandherachinghearthadgivenin.

She felt his eyes on her as she tried to eat scrambled eggs and bacon. Matthew, too, was unusually
silent.Hewasmuchmorecarefulofhisbehavioratthetablethanhe'deverbeenwhenheandMelissa
hadlivedbythemselves.

Probably,shethoughtsadly,becausehefeltthetensionandwasreactingtoit.

"Youarequietthismorning,SenoraLaremos,"Diegosaidgently,hisblackeyesslowandsteadyon
herpalefaceasshetoyedwithhertoast."Didyounotsleepwell?"

He was taunting her, but she was too weary to play the game. "No," she confessed, meeting his
searchinggazesquarely."Infact,Ihardlysleptatall,ifyouwantthetruth."

He traced the rim of his coffee cup with a finger, and his gaze held hers. "Nor did I, to be equally
frank,"hesaidquietly."Ihavebeenaloneformanyyears,Melissa,despitetheopinionyouseemto
haveofmeasaphilanderingplayboy."

Sheliftedhercoffeecuptoherlipsforsomethingtodo.

"Youwereneverlackingincompanionshipintheolddays"

"BeforeImarriedyou,surely,"heagreed."Butmarriageisasacredvow,nina."

"I'mnotagirl,"sheretorted.

Hischiseledlipstuggedintoareluctantsmile."Ah,butyouwere,thatlong-agosummer,"herecalled,
hiseyessofteningwiththememory."Girlishandsweetandbrightwiththejoyoflife.Andthen,so
soon,youbecameasad,wornghostwhohauntedmyhouseevenwhenyouwerenotinit."

"I should have gone to college in America," she replied, glancing at a quiet but curious Matthew.
'There was never any hope for me where you were concerned. But I was too young and foolish to
realizethatasophisticatedmancouldnevercareforaninexperienced,backwardchild."

"Itwasthecircumstanceofourmarriagewhichturnedmeagainstyou,Melissa,"hesaidtersely."And
butforthatcircumstance,wemighthavecometogethernaturally,withafoundationofaffectionand
comradeshiptobaseourmarriageon."

"Iwouldneverhavebeenabletosettleforcrumbs,Diego,"shesaidsimply."Affectionwouldn'thave
beenenough."

"Youseemedtofeelthatdesirewasenough,atthetime,"

heremindedher.

WaryofMatt'ssuddeninterest,shesmiledatthechildandsenthimofftowatchhiscartoonswithhis
breakfastonlyhalfeaten.

"He'slittle,buthehearsverywell,"shetoldDiegocurtly,hergrayeyesaccusing."Argumentsupset
him."

"WasIarguing?"heaskedwithliftedeyebrows.

Shefinishedhercoffeeandputthecupdown."Won'tyoubelateforwork?"

"By all means let me relieve you of my company, since you seem to find it so disturbing," he said
softly.Heremovedadropofcoffeefromhismustachewithhisnapkinandgottohisfeet."Adios"

Shelookedupashestartedtothefrontdoor,mingledemotionstearingather.

Diegopausedatthedoor,glaringtowardMatthew,who'djustturnedthetelevisionupveryloud.He
saidsomethingtotheboy,whocutdownthevolumeandglaredaccusinglyatthetallman.

"Ifyoudisturbtheothertenants,littleone,wewillallbeevicted,"Diegotoldhim."Andforcedtolive
onthestreet."

"ThenMattcangohomewithMama,"thechildsaidstubbornly,"andgoawayfromyou."

Diego smiled faintly at that show of belligerence. Even at such a young age, the boy had spirit. It
wouldn'tdotobreakit,despitethefactthathewasanotherman'schild.

Matthadpromise.Hewasintelligentandhedidn'tbackdown.Despitehimself,Diegowaswarmingto
thelittleboy.

Impulsively he went to the television and went down on one knee in front of the dark-eyed child.
Melissa,surprised,watchedfromthedoorway.

"Ontheweekend,wemightgotothezoo,"Diegotoldtheboywithpursedlipsandacalculatinglook
inhisblackeyes."Ofcourse,ifyoureallywouldratherleaveme,littleone,Icangotoseethelions
andtigersalone—"

Mattblinked,hiseyeswidening."Lionsandtigers?"

Diegonodded."Andelephantsandgiraffesandbears."

MattmovedalittleclosertoDiego."AndcouldIhavecottoncandy?Billy'sdadtookhimtothezoo
andhegotcottoncandyandicecream."

Diegosmiledgently."Wemightmanagethat,aswell."

'Tomorrow?"

"Afewdayspastthat,"Diegotoldhim."Ihaveagreatdealtododuringtheweek,andyouhaveto
takecareofyourMamauntilshegetswell."

Mattnodded."Icanreadherastory."

Melissa almost giggled, because Matt's stories were like no one else's, a tangle of fairy-tale
charactersandcartooncharactersfromtelevisioninunlikelysituations.

"Thenifyouwillbegood,nino,onSaturdayyouandIwillgoseetheanimals."

MattlookedatMelissaandthenatDiegoagain,frowning.

"Can'tMamacome?"

"Mamacannotwalksomuch,"Diegoexplainedpatiently.

"ButyouandIcan,si?

Matt shifted. He was still nervous with the man, but he wanted very much to go to the zoo. "Si" he
echoed.

Diegosmiled."Itisadeal,then."Hegottohisfeet."Nomoreloudcartoons,"hecautioned,shaking
hisfingerattheboy.

Mattsmiledbackhesitantly."Allright."

DiegoglancedatMelissa,whowasstandinginthedoorwayinherpinksilkgownandherlongwhite
chenillehousecoat,withnomakeupandhersoftblondhaircurlingaroundherpaleface.Evenlike
that, she was lovely. He noticed the faint surprise in her gray eyes, mingled with something like..
.hope.

Hisblackeyesheldhersuntilsheflushed,andhergazedropped.Helaughedsoftly."DoImakeyou
shy,querida?"heaskedunderhisbreath."Amaturewomanlikeyou?"

Sheshifted."Ofcoursenot."Sheflushedevenmore,lookinganywherebutathim.

He opened the front door, his glance going from the child back to her. "Stay in bed," he said. 'The
soonerthelegisbetter,thesoonerwecanbegintodothingsasafamily."

"It'stoosoon,"shebegan.

"No.Itisfiveyearstoolate."Hiseyesflashedather."Butyouaremyresponsibility,andsoisMatt.
Wehavetocometoterms."

"I'vetoldyouIcangetajob—"

"No!"

Shestartedtosaysomething,butheheldupahandandhiseyescutheroff.

"Cuidado!"hesaidsoftly."Yousaidyourselfthatarguingisnothealthyforthechild.Hastaluego!"

Hewasgonebeforeshecouldsayanotherword.

Itwasahecticmorning.DiegohadhardlygottentotheofficebeforeheandDutchhadtogooutto
giveademonstrationtosomenewclients.Whentheygotback,voiceswereraisedbehindtheclosed
office door. Diego hesitated, listening to Joyce and Apollo in the middle of a fiery argument over
somefiling.

Dutch came down the hall behind him, a lighted cigarette in his hand, looking as suave as ever. He
glancedatDiegowitharuefulsmile.

"Somehowcombatwasalittleeasiertoadjusttothanthat,"hesaid,indicatingtheclamorbehindthe
closedofficedoor."IthinkI'llsmokemycigaretteouthereuntiltheygetitsettledorkilleachother."

Diegolitacherootandpuffedaway."Perhapssomedaytheywillmarryandsettletheirdifferences."

"They'dbettersettlethemfirst,"Dutchremarked."I'vefoundthatmarriagedoesn'tresolveconflicts.
Infact,itintensifiesthem."

Diegosighed."Yes,Isupposeitdoes."Hisdarkeyesnarrowedthoughtfully.Lastnightseemedmore
andmorelikeadreamasthedingrew.WouldheandMelissabecomelikethatarguingcoupleinthe
office? Matthew was their unresolved conflict, and despite his growing interest in the child, he still
couldn'tbearthethoughtofthemanwho'dfatheredhim.

"Deepthoughts?"Dutchaskedquietly.

Theothermannodded."MarriageisnotsomethingIevercoveted.MelissaandIwerecaughtina—
howdoyousay?—compromisingsituation.Ourmarriagewasamatterofhonor,notchoice."

"Sheseemstocareaboutyou,"theothermanventured.

"Andtheboy—"

"Theboyisnotmine,"Diegosaidharshly,hisblackeyesmeetingtheequallydarkonesoftheother
man.

"MyGod."Dutchstaredathim.

"She left me after I cost her our child," Diego said, his eyes dark and bitter with the memories.
"Perhapsshesoughtconsolation,orperhapsshediditforrevenge.

Whateverthereason,thechildisanobstacleIcannotovercome."Hiseyesfelltothecherootinhis
hand."Ithasmadethingsdifficult."

Dutchwassilentforalongmoment."You'reverysurethatshelostyourchild?"

ThatwaswhenDiegofirstbegantodoubtwhathe'dbeentoldfiveyearsago.WhenDutchputitinto
words,heplantedaseed.Diegostaredbackathimwithknittedbrows.

"Therewasadoctoratthehospital,"hetoldDutch."Itriedlatertofindhim,buthehadgonetoSouth
Americatopractice.ThenursesaidMelissawasbadlyhurtinthefall,andMelissaherselftoldmethe
childwasdead."

"Yougotdrunkatourlastreunion,"Dutchrecalled.

"AndIputyoutobed.Youtalkedalot.IknowallaboutMelissa."

Diegoavertedhiseyes."Doyou?"heaskedstiffly.

"Andyoucantakethepokeroutofyourback,"Dutchsaid."YouandIgobackalongway.Wedon't
havemanysecretsfromeachother.Thingswerestrainedbetweenyouandher.Isn'titpossiblethatshe
mighthavehiddenherpregnancyfromyouforfearthatyou'dtrytotaketheboyfromher?"

Diegostaredathim,half-blindwithshock."Melissawouldnotdosuchathing,"hesaidshortly."Itis
nothernaturetolie.Evennow,shehasnoheartforsubterfuge."

Dutchshrugged."Youcouldbewrong."

"Notinthis.Besides,theyearsarewrong,"hesaidheavily."Matthewisnotyetfour."

"Isee."

Diegotookanotherdrawonhischeroot.Insidetheoffice,thevoicesgotlouder,thenstoppedwhen
the telephone rang. "I had my own suspicions at first, you know," he confessed. "But I soon forgot
them."

"Youmighttakealookathisbirthcertificate,allthesame,"Dutchsuggested."Justtobesure."

Diego smiled and said something polite. In the back of his mind there were new doubts. He wasn't
certainaboutanythinganymore,leastofallhisfeelingsforMelissaandhisstubborncertaintythathe
knewher.Hewasbeginningtothinkthathe'dneverknownheratall.He'dwantedher,buthe'dnever
madeanyefforttogettoknowherasaperson.

When Diego came home, Matthew was sprawled on the bed and Melissa was reading to him. He
pausedinthedoorwaytowatchthemforafewseconds,hiseyesgrowingtenderastheytracedthe
gracefullinesofMelissa'sbodyandthenwenttoMatt,becomingpuzzledanddisturbedashereally
lookedatthechildforthefirsttime.

Yes,itcouldbeso.Matthewcouldbehischild.Hehadtoadmititnow.Theboyhadhiscoloring,his
eyes.Matthadhisnoseandchin,buthehadtheshapeofhismother'seyes,andhishairwasonlya
littledarkerthanhers.

Exceptthattheyearswerewrong—MattwouldhavetobeoverfouryearsoldifhewastrulyDiego's
son.Melissahadsaidthathewasjustpastthree.ButDiegoknewsolittleaboutchildrenofanyage,
andtherewasalwaysthepossibilitythatshehadn'ttoldtheexacttruth.Littlethingsshe'dsaid,slips
she'dmade,couldrevealamonumentaldeception.

Shedidn'tlieasarule,butthiswasanextraordinarysituation.Afterall,she'dhadmorethanenough
reasontowanttopayhimbackforhiscruelty.Andwasshethekindofwomanwhocouldgofrom
himtoanothermansoeasily?Hadshe?Orhadsheonlybeenafraid,asDutchhadhinted—afraidof
losinghersontohisrealfather?

ShemightthinkDiegocapableoftakingMattawayfromherandturningheroutoftheirlives.His
jawtautenedasherememberedhistreatmentofherandexactlywhyshehadgoodreasontoseehim
that way. If he didn't know Melissa, then she certainly didn't know him. He'd never let her close
enoughtoknowhim.Whatifhedidlethercomeclose?Heturnedawayfromthedoor,temptedfor
thefirsttimetothinkofpullingdownthebarriershe'dbuiltbetweenthem.Hewasalone,andsowas
she.Wasthereanyhopeforthemnow?

MelissahobbledtothesuppertablewithMatt'shelp.Shelookedworried,andDiegowonderedwhat
hadupsether.

Hedidn'thavetowaitlong.Halfwaythroughthefirstcourse,shegotupenoughnervetoaskhima
questionthathadplaguedherallday.

"DoyouthinkImightgetajobwhenthedoctorgivesmetheall-clear?"Melissaaskedcautiously.

Heputdownhiscoffeecupandstaredather."Youhaveajobalready,doyounot?"heasked,nodding
towardacontentedMatthew,whowasobviouslyenjoyinghischickendish.

"Of course, and I love looking after him and having time to spend with him for a change," she
confessed."But..."

Shesighedheavily."IfeelasifI'mnotpullingmyweight,"shesaidfinally."Itdoesn'tseemfairto
makeyousupportus."

He looked, and was, surprised at the remark. He leaned back in his chair, looking very Latin and
faintlyarrogant.

"Melissa,yousurelyrememberthatIwasawealthymaninGuatemala.IworkbecauseIenjoyit,not
because I need to. I have more than enough in Swiss banks to support all of us into old age and
beyond."

"Ididn'trealizethat."Shetoyedwithherfork."Still,Idon'tlikefeelingobligatedtoyou."

Hiseyesflashed."Iamyourhusband.Itismyduty,myobligation,myresponsibility,totakecare
ofyou."

"And that's an archaic attitude," Melissa muttered, her own temper roused. "In the modern

world,marriedpeoplearepartners."

"Josh'smamaandpapausedtofightallthetime,"

Matthewobservedwithawaryglanceathismother.

"AndJose'spapawentaway."

Diegodrewinasharpbreath."Ninito,"hesaidgently,

"yourmamaandIwillinevitablydisagreefromtimetotime.Marriedpeopledo,comprende?"

Matthewmovedadumplingaroundonhisplatewithhisfork."Yonose,"hemurmuredmiserably,
butinperfectSpanish.

Diegofrowned.HegotupgracefullytokneelbesideMatthew'schair."Hablasespanol?"heasked
gently,usingthefamiliartense.

"Si,"Matthewsaid,andburstintohalfadozenin-completefearsandworriesinthatlanguage
beforeDiegointerruptedhimbyplacingalongfingeroverhissmallmouth. His voice, when he
spoke,wasmoretenderthanMelissahadeverheardit.

"Nino"hesaid,hisdeepvoicesoothing,"weareafamily.

Itwillnotbeeasyforanyofus,butifwetry,wecanlearntogetalongwitheachother.Wouldit
notpleaseyou,littleone,tohavetimetospendwithMama,andaniceplacetolive,andtoysto
playwith?"

Mattlookedworried."Youdon'tlikeMatt,"hemumbled.

Diegotookaslowbreathandranhishandgentlyoverthesmallhead."Ihavebeenalonefora
long tune," he said hesitantly. "I have had no one to show me how to be a father. It must be
taught,yousee,andonlyasmallboycanteachit."

"Oh,"Mattsaid,noddinghishead.Heshiftedrestlessly,andhisdarkeyesmetDiego's."Well...I
guessIcould."

His brows knitted. "And we can go to the zoo and to the park and see baseball games and
things?"

Diegonodded."That,too."

"Youdon'thavealittleboy?"

Diegohatedthelumpinhisthroat.Itwasasiftheyearsoffeelingnothingatallhadcaughtup
withhimatlast.Hefeltasifabutterfly'swingshadtouchedhisheartandbroughtittolifefor
thefirsttime.Helookedatthesmallface,somuchlikehisown,andwassurprisedatthehunger
hefelttobethischild'sfather,hisrealfather.Thelonelinesswassuddenlyunbearable."No,"he

saidhuskily."Ihave...nolittleboy."

Melissa felt tears running hot down her shocked face. It was more than she'd dared hope for
thatDiegomightbeabletoacceptMatt,towanthim,eventhoughhebelievedhe was another
man'schild.Itwasthefirststepinanewdirectionforallofthem.

"Iguessso,"Matthewsaidwiththesimpleacceptanceofchildhood."AndMamaandIwouldlive
withyou?"

"Si."

"Ialwayswantedapapaofmyown,"Matthewconfessed.

"Mama said my own papa was a very brave man. He went away, but Mama used to say he might
comeback."

That broke the spell. Diego's face tautened as it turned to Melissa, his black eyes accusing, all the
tendernessgoneoutofhimatonceasheconsideredthathiswholelineofthoughtmighthavebeena
fabrication,createdoutofhisownlonelinessandneedandguilt.

"Didshe?"heaskedtersely.

Melissa fought for control, dabbing at the tears. "Matt, wouldn't you like to go and play with your
bear?"

"Okay."HejumpeddownfromhischairwithashygrinatDiegoandranofftohisroom.Exceptfor
thefirstnight,he'dgiventhemnotroubleaboutsleepingalone.Heseemedtoenjoyhavingaroomof
hisveryown.

Diego'sfacewaswithoutatraceofemotionwhenheturnedtoher."Hisfatherisstillalive?"hesaid
tersely.

Shedroppedhereyestothetablewhileherheartbeatshookher."Yes."

"Whereishe?"

Sheshookherhead,unabletospeak,totellanymorelies.

Hetookanangrybreath."Untilyoucantrustme,howcanwehaveamarriage?"

Shelookedup."Andthatworksbothways.Younevertrustedme.Howcanyouexpectmetotrustyou,
Diego?"

"IwasnotawarethathespokesuchexcellentSpanish,"

heremarkedafteraminute,lesseningthetension."Itseemedtocomenaturallytohim,"shesaid."It
isn't bad for a child to be bilingual, especially in Tucson, where so many people speak Spanish
anyway.Mostofhisfriendsdid."

He leaned back in his chair, his dark eyes sliding carelessly over Melissa's body. "You grow more
lovelywitheachpassingday,"hesaidunexpectedly.

Sheflushed."Ididn'tthinkyoueverlookedatmelongenoughtoformanopinion."

He lit a cheroot, puffing on it quietly. "Things are not so simple anymore, are they? The boy is
insecure."

"I'msorryIarguedwithyou,"shesaidsadly."Imadeeverythingworse."

"No.YouandIarebothresponsibleforthat."Heshrugged."Itisnoteasy,isit,pequena,toforgetthe
pastweshare?"

"Guatemala seems very far away sometimes, though." She leaned back. "What about the finca,
Diego?"

"Ihavegiventhatmorethoughtthanyourealize,Melissa,"hereplied.Hestudiedhischeroot."Itis
growingmoredangerousbythedaytotrytoholdtheestate,toprovideadequateprotectionformy
workers. I loathe the very thought of giving it up, but it is becoming too much of a financial risk.
NowthatIhaveyouandtheboytoconsider,IhavedecidedthatImaywellhavetosellit."

"Butyourfamilyhaslivedthereforthreegenerations,"

sheprotested."It'syourheritage."

"Nina,itisaspreadofland,"hesaidgently."Abitofstoneandsoil.Manyliveshavebeensacrificed
foritoverthe years, and more will be asked. I begin to think the sacrifices are too many." He
leaned forward suddenly, his black eyes narrow. "Suppose I asked you to come with me to
Guatemala,tobringMatthew,toraisehimthere"

Her breathing stopped for an instant She faltered, trying to reconcile herself to the fear his
wordshadfostered.

He nodded, reading her apprehension. "You see? You could no more risk the boy's life than I
could." He sat back again. 'It is much more sensible to lease or sell it than to take the risk of
tryingtolivethere.IlikeChicago,

nina.Doyou?"

"Why,yes,"shesaidslowly."IsupposeIdo.Idon'tknowaboutthewinter...."

"WecanspendthewinterdownintheCaribbeanandcomebackinthespring.Apolloisthinking
of expanding the company, Blain Security Consultants, to include antiterrorism classes in that
partoftheworld."Hesmiled."Icancombinebusinesswithpleasure."

"Youhaven'ttoldmeaboutthekindofworkyoudo,"sheremindedhim.Shewantedtoknow.
Thiswasoneofthefew times he'd ever let down his guard and talked to her, sharing another

partofhislife.Itwasflatteringandpleasant.

"Iteachtactics,"hesaidHeputoutthecheroot."DutchandIsharetheduties,andIalsoteach
defensivedrivingtothechauffeursoftheveryrich."Helookedupather.

"YourememberthatIracedcarsforafewyears."

"Myfathermentioneditonce,"shesaid.Hereyesranoverhisdarkface."Youcan'tlivewithout
achallenge,canyou?Withoutsomekindofrisk?"

"Ihavegrownusedtosurgesofadrenalineovertheyears,"hemused,smiling."PerhapsIhave
become addicted." He shrugged. "It is unlikely that I will make you a rich widow in the near
future,SenoraLare-mos,"

headdedmockingly,thinkingbitterlyoftheboy'sfather.

"Moneywasneveroneofmyaddictions,"shesaidwithquiet pride. She got to her feet slowly.
"Butthinkwhatyoulike.Youropiniondoesn'tmatteralottomethesedays,Sehor."

"Yetitdidonce,"hesaidsoftly,risingtocatchhergentlybythewaistandholdherinfrontof
him."Therewasatimewhenyoulovedme,Melissa."

"Lovecandie,likedreams."Shesighedwistfully,watchingthequickriseandfallofhischest."It
wasalongtimeago,andIwasveryyoung."

"Youarestillveryyoung,querida,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepandveryquiet."Howdidyoumanage,
aloneandpregnant,inastrangeplace?"

"I had friends," she said hesitantly. "And a good job, working as an assistant buyer for a
departmentstore'sclothingdepartment.ThenIgotpneumoniaandeverythingfellapart."

"YetyouhavemanagedenoughtimewithMatthewtoteachhimvaluesandprideandhonorin
hisheritage."

Shesmiled."Iwantedhimtobeawholeperson,"shesaid.Shelookedup,searchingthedarkeyes
soclosetohers."Youblameme,don'tyou?Forbetrayingyou..."

Herhumilityhurthim.Itmadehimfeelguiltyforthethingshe'dsaidtoher.Hesighedwearily.'Was
itnotIwhobetrayedyou?"hebreathed,andbenttohermouth.

He'dneverkissedherinquitethatwaybefore.Shefeltthesoftpressureofhismouthwithwonderas
hecherishedit,savoreditinasilenceablazewithsharedpleasure.

"But,Matthew..."shewhispered.

"Kissme,querida,"hewhispered,andhismouthcoveredhersagainashedrewheragainsthislean,
hardbodyandhislipsgrewquietlyinsistent.

Shefelttheneedinhim.Herlegstrembledagainsthis.

Her mouth followed where his led, lost in its warm, bristly pressure. She put her arms around him
and moved closer until she felt him stiffen, until she felt the sudden urgency of his body and heard
himgroan.

"No," he whispered roughly, pushing her away. His eyes glittered. His breathing was quick and
unsteady."Nohalfmeasures.Iwantallofyouornothing.Anditistoosoon,isitnot?"

She wanted to say no, but of course it was too soon, and not just physically. There were too many
wounds,toomanyquestions.Sheloweredhereyestohischest."Iwon'tstopyou,"shesaid,shocking
herselfaswellasthemanstandingsostillinfrontofher."Iwon'tsayno."

Hisfingerscontracted,butonlyforaninstant"Ithasbeenalongtime,"hesaidinadeep,softvoice."I
do not think that I could be gentle with you the first time, despite the tenderness I feel for you." He
shudderedalmostimperceptibly."Mypossessionofyouwouldbeviolent,andIcouldnotbeartohurt
you.Itisnotwisetoletthiscontinue."Helethergoandmovedaway,withhisbacktoher,whilehelit
anothercheroot.

Shewatchedhimwithcuriouseyes.Herbodytrembledwithfrustration,herlegached.Butshewanted
nothingmoreinlifethanhisbodyoverhersinthesweetdarkness.

"Iwantyou,"shewhisperedachingly.

Heturned,hisblackeyessteadyandhot"NolessthanIwantyou,Iassureyou,"hesaidtersely."But
firsttheremustbealoweringofallthebarriers.TellmeaboutMatthew'sfather,Melissa."

Shewantedto.Sheneededto.Butshecouldn'ttellhim.

Hehadtocometotherealizationhimself,hehadtobelieveinherinnocencewithouthavingproof."I
can't,"

shemoaned.

"Then know this: I have had enough of subterfuge and pretense. Until you tell me the truth, I swear
thatIwillnevertouchyouagain."

Sheexhaledunsteadily.Hewasplacingherinanintolerableposition.Shecouldn'ttellhimthetruth.
Shedidn'ttrusthimenough,andobviouslyhedidn'ttrustherenough.Ifhelovedher,he'dtrusther
enoughtoknowthatMatthewwashis.Butthathadalwaysbeentheproblem—shelovedtoomuchand
he loved too little. He was hot-blooded, and he desired her. But desire was a poor foundation for
marriage.Itwouldn'tbeenough.

Diegowatchedtheexpressionspassoverherface.Whenhesawherteethclench,heknewthathe'd
losttheround.

Shewasn'tgoingtotellhim.Shewasafraid.Well,therewasstilloneotherwaytogetatthetruth.As

Dutch had mentioned, there would surely be a birth certificate for Matthew. He would write to the
Arizona Bureau of Vital Statistics and obtain a copy of it. That would give Diego the truth about
Matt'sageandhisparentage.Diegohadtoknow,onceandforall,whoMatthew'sfatherwas.Untilhe
did,therewasnohopeofafutureforhimandMatthewandMelissa.

"Itislate,"hesaidwithoutgivingherachancetosayanythingelse."Youhadbettergetsomesleep."

Melissa hesitated, but only for an instant. It was disappointing. She felt they'd been so close to an
understanding.Shenodded,turningtowardherroomwithoutanotherword.

Itwaslikesittingontopofabombforthenextfewdays.

Melissa was more aware of Diego than ever before, but he was polite and courteous and not much
more.Thenightsgrewlongerandlonger.

But if she was frustrated, her son wasn't. Diego seemed to have a new shadow, because Matthew
followedhimeverywherewhenhewasn'tworking.Ratherthanresentingit,Diegoseemedtoloveit.
Heindulgedthechildasneverbefore,noticedhim,playedwithhim.Hiseffortswerehesitantatfirst
becausehe'dneverspentmuchtimearoundchildren.Butastimeworeonhelearnedtoplay,andthe
childbecameanecessarypartofhisday,ofhislife.

Theywenttothezoothatweekend,leavingMelissawiththetelevisionandanewvideocassetteofan
adventure movie for company. They stayed until almost dark, and when they came back Matthew
seemedadifferentboy.

Oddlyenough,Diegowasdifferent,too.Therewasanexpressiononhisfaceandinhisblackeyes
thatMelissadidn'tunderstand.

"Wesawacobra!"MatttoldMelissa,hisyoungfacealivewithexcitement."Andagiraffe,andalion,
andamonkey!AndIhadcottoncandy,andIrodeatrain,andapuppydogchasedme!"Hegiggled
gleefully.

"AndPapa is wornto a nub,"Diego moaned, dropping wearilyonto the sofabeside Melissa with a
wearygrin.

"Diosmio,Ialmostboughtamotorcyclejusttokeepupwithhim!"

"IworePapaout,"Mattchuckled,"didn'tI,Papa?"

Melissaglancedfromoneofthemtotheother,curiosityevidentinhergrayeyes.

"Matthew'spapaisn'tcomingback,"Diegotoldher.Helitacherootwithsteadyhands,hisblackeyes
daringhertochallengethestatement."SoI'mgoingtobehispapaandtakecareofhim.Andhewill
bemyson."

"Ialwayswantedapapaofmyown,"MatthewtoldMelissa.Heleanedhischinonthearmofthesofa
andstaredather."Sincemypapa'sgoneaway,IwantDiego."

Melissa drew a slow breath, barely breathing as all the things she'd told Matt about his father came
back with vivid clarity. She prayed that he hadn't mentioned any of them to Diego. Especially the
photograph...whyinheaven'snamehadsheshownMattthatphoto!

But Diego looked innocent, and Matthew was obviously unruffled, so there couldn't have been any
sharedsecrets.

No.Ofcoursenot.Shewasworryingovernothing.

"Didyouhaveagoodtime?"

Mattgrinned."Wehadareallygoodtime,andtomorrowwe'regoingtochurch."

Melissahopedshewouldn'tpassout.Itwouldn'tbegoodtoshockthechild.Buthereyeslookedlike
saucersastheyslidtoDiego'sface.

"Achildshouldberaisedinthechurch,"hesaidtersely.

"Whenyouareable,youmaycomewithus."

"I'mnotarguing,"shesaidabsently.

"Good, because it would avail you nothing. Matt, suppose you watch television while I organize
somethingforustoeat?Doyouwantafish?"

"Yes,please,"thechildsaidwithahappylaugh,andrantoturnoncartoons.

"And you, querida?" he asked Melissa, letting his dark eyes slide over her gray slacks and low-cut
creamsweaterwithsoftdesire.

"I'dlikeachef'ssalad,"shemurmured."There'safishdinnerinthefreezerthatMattcanhave,andthe
salad'salreadymade.Iprepareditwhileyouweregone.There'sasteakIcangrillforyou...."

"Icandoit."Hegotup,stretchinglazily,andhereyesmovedoverhimwithhelplesslonging,loving
thepowerfullinesofhistallbody.

"Ineedtomovearound,though,"shemurmured.Shegotupandstoodforaminutebeforeshestarted
towalk.Thelimpwasstillpronounced,butitdidn'thurthalfasbadtomoveasithadonlyaweek
ago.Shelaughedatherownprogress.

"Howeasilytheyoungheal,"Diegoremarkedwithasmile.

"I'mnotthatyoung,Diego,"shesaid.

He moved close to her, taking her by the waist to lazily draw her body to him, holding her gently.
"Youarewhenyoulaugh,querida?hesaid,smiling."Whatmemoriesyoubringbackofhappytimes
wesharedinGuatemala."

Thesmilefaded."Werethereany?"sheaskedsadly.

Hesearchedhersoftgrayeyes."Doyounotrememberhowitwaswithus,beforewemarried?The
comradeshipwehad,theeaseofbeingtogether?"

"Iwasachildandyouwereanadult."Shedroppedhereyes."Iwasbristlingwithhero-worshipand
buriedindreams."

"AndthenwetookrefugeinaMayanruin."HewaswhisperingsothatMatt,whowasengrossedina
televisionprogram,wouldn'thear."Andwebecamelovers,withtherainblowingaroundusandthe
threat of danger everywhere. Your body under my body, Melissa mia, your cries in my mouth as I
kissedyou..."

Shemovedawaytoofastandalmostfell,herfacebeetredandherheartbeatingdoubletime."I—"
Shehadtotryagainbecausehervoicesqueaked."I'lljustfixthesaladdressing,Diego."

He watched her go with a faint, secretive smile. Behind him, Matt was laughing at a cartoon, and
Diego glanced his way with an expression that he was glad Melissa couldn't see. Matt had told him
aboutthephotographofhisfatherwhilethey'dbeenlookingataposterthatshowedbananatrees.

Thosefunny-lookingtrees,Mattexclaimed,wereinthephotohisMamahadofhispapa.Andhispapa
waswearingabighatandridingahorse.

Diegohadleanedagainstawallforsupport,andhedidn'trememberwhathe'dmumbledwhenMatt
had kept on talking. But even though he'd sent for the birth certificate, it was no longer necessary.
There couldn't be another photo like the one Matt described, and it was with amused fury that he
realizedthemanhe'dbeenjealousofwashimself.

He was Matt's father. Matt was the child Melissa had sworn she'd lost. It even made sense that she'd
hiddenherpregnancyfromhim.She'dprobablybeenafraidthathedidn'tcareenoughabouthertolet
herstayafterthechildwasborn.Morethanlikelyshe'dthoughtthatDiegowouldtakeherbabyfrom
herandsendheraway.She'druntokeepthatfromhappening.

She was still running. She hadn't told him the truth about Matt because she didn't trust him enough.
Perhaps she didn't love him enough anymore, either. He was going to have to work on that. But at
leastheknewthetruth,andthatwaseverything.Helookedathissonwithfierceprideandknewthat,
whateverhappened,hecouldn'tgiveupMatt.Hecouldn'tgiveupMelissa,either,buthewasgoingto
havetoprovethattoherfirst.

After supper, Diego and Matthew sprawled on the carpet in front of the television. Melissa's eyes
softenedatthetwoofthem,soalike,sodarkanddelightfullyLatin,laughingandwrestlinginfrontof
the television. Diego was in his stocking feet, his shirt unbuttoned in front, his hair disheveled, his
eyes laughing at his son. He looked up with the laughter still in his face and saw Melissa watching
him. For an instant, something flared in his eyes and left them darkly disturbing. She flushed and
looked away, and she heard him laugh. Then Matthew attacked him again and the spell was broken.
But it left Melissa shaken and hungry. Diego was accepting Matt, and that should have satisfied her.
But it didn't. She wanted Diego to love her. When, she wondered bitterly, had she ever wanted

anythingelse?Butitseemedasimpossiblenowasithadinthepast.Hewantedher,butperhapshehad
nothinglefttooffer.

DIEGOWASINVOLVEDWITHworkforthenextfewweeks.

Theatmosphereattheapartmentwasmuchlessstrained.

Matt played with Diego, and the two of them were becoming inseparable. And Diego looked at
Melissa with lazy indulgence and began to tease her gently now and again. But the tension between
them was growing, and her nervousness with him didn't help. She couldn't understand his suddenly
changed attitude toward Matt and herself. Because she couldn't figure out the reason behind his
turnaround,shedidn'ttrustit

Whenthetimecameforherfinalcheckup,Diegotooktimeofffromworktotakehertothedoctor.

Shewaspronouncedcuredandreleasedfromthedoctor'scare.Hetoldhertoprogressslowlywith
herrapidlyhealinglegbutsaidshewasfittoworkagain.

WhenshetoldDiegothatandstartedhintingatwantingtogetajob,hefeltuneasy.She'drunaway
fromhimonce,andhewasnolongerabletohidehisgrowingaffectionfortheboy.Whatifsheknew
thathesuspectedthetruth?

WouldshetakeMattandrunagain,fearingthatDiegomightbetryingtostealhimawayfromher?
Hisbloodrancoldattheprospect,buthewasn'tconfidentenoughtoputthequestiontoher.Hemight
forceherhandifhewasn'tcareful.Thethingwas,howwashegoingtokeepher?

Heworriedthequestionallthewaybacktotheapartment,reservedandremoteashepondered.He
went back to work immediately after dropping her off at the apartment. He didn't even speak as he
wentoutthedoor.

HiswithdrawalworriedMelissa.

"Youneedsomediversion,Mrs.Laremos,"Mrs.Albrightchidedasshefixedlunchforthem."Staying
aroundthisapartmentallthetimejustisn'thealthy."

"Youknow,Idobelieveyou'reright,"Melissaagreedwithasigh."IthinkI'llcallJoyceandtakeher
outtolunchtomorrow.Imightevengetajob."

"Yourhusbandwon'tlikethat,ifyoudon'tmindmysayingso,ma'am,"Mrs.Albrightmurmuredas
sheshreddedcarrotsforasalad.

"I'mafraidhewon't,"Melissasaid."Butthatisn'tgoingtostopme."

She dropped a kiss on Matthew's dark head as he sat engrossed in a children's program on the
educationalnetworkandwentintoDiego'sstudytousethephone.

Itwasbadluckthatshecouldn'trememberthenameofApollo'scompany.Diegosurelyhaditwritten

downsomewhere.Shedidn'tlikegoingintohisdesk,butthiswasimportant.Sheopenedthemiddle
drawerandfoundablackbookofnumbers.Butunderneathitwasanopenenvelopethatcaughther
attention.

Withaquickglancetowardthedoorandapoundingheart,shedrewitoutandlookedatit.Thereturn
addresswastheArizonaBureauofVitalStatistics.Hercold,nervoushandsfumbleditopen,andshe
drew out what she'd been afraid she'd find—a copy of Matthew's birth certificate. Under father,
Diego'sfullnameandaddresswereneatlytyped.

She sighed, fighting back tears. So he knew. But he hadn't said anything. He'd questioned her and
promisedherthathewouldn'tcomenearheragainuntilshetoldhimthetruthaboutMatthew.Why?
Diditmattersomuchtohispride?Orwashejustbuyingtimetogain

Matthew'saffectionbeforeheforcedMelissaoutoftheirlives?Perhapsdespitewhathe'dsaidabout
GuatemalahemeanttotakeMatthewthereandleaveMelissabehind.

HislackofardorsinceheandMatthadgonetothezoo,hislackofattentiontoher,madehermore
uncertain than ever. And today, his remoteness when the doctor had said she could work. Was he
thinkingaboutthrowingheroutnowthatshenolongerneededhissupport?

She was frightened, and her first thought was to pack a case and get Matthew far away, as fast as
possible. But that would be irrational. She had to stop and think. She had to be logical, not make a
spur-of-the-momentdecisionthatshemightcometoregret.

Sheputthebirthcertificatebackintotheenvelopeandreplaceditcarefully,facedownundertheblack
book,andclosedthedrawer.Shedidn'tdaregetanumberoutofitnowbecauseDiegowouldknow
thatshe'dbeenintohisdeskdrawer.

ThensherememberedthatMrs.Albrightwouldsurelyhavehisnumber.Shewentintothekitchenand
askedthewoman.

"Oh,certainly,Mrs.Laremos,"shesmiled."It'slistedunderBlainSecurityConsultants,Incorporated,
inthetelephonedirectory."SheeyedMelissacuriously."Areyouallright?Youseemverypale."

"I'mfine."Melissaforcedasmile."It'sjustalittlehardtogetaround.Theligamentishealed,butmy
legisstiff.

Theywantedmetohavephysicaltherapy,butIsettledforhome exercises instead. I'm sure it will
limberuponceIstartthem."

"My sister had a bad back, and the doctor put her on exercises," Mrs. Albright remarked.
"Theyhelpedagreatdeal.I'msureyou'lldofine,ma'am."

"Yes.SoamI.Thankyou."

Shewentintothelivingroomandlookedupthenumber,dialingitwithshakyhands.

Joyce'smusicalvoiceansweredafterthesecondring.

"BlainSecurityConsultants.Howmaywehelpyou?"

"Youcancomeouttolunchwithmetomorrowandhelpmesavemysanity,"Melissasaiddryly.
"It'sMelissa,Diego'swife."

"Yes,Irecognizedyourvoice,Melissa,"Joycesaidwithalaugh."AndI'dbedelightedtogoto
lunchwithyou.ShallIpickyouupatyourapartmentabout11:30?Ifmybosswillletme—"

Apollo'sdeep,angryvoicesoundedfromadistance.

"SincewhendoIdenyyoualunchhour,MissLatham?

Byallmeans,ifthat'sMelissa,youcantakehertolunch.

Stopmakingmeouttobeanogre."

"I'd never do such a thing, Mr. Blain," Joyce assured him stiffly. "It would be an insult to the
ogre."

Therewasamutteredcurse,andadoorslammed.JoycesighedandMelissahidagiggle.

"Seeyoutomorrow,"Joycewhispered."I'dbettergettoworkorImaywindupoutthewindow
onmyhead."

"Itsoundsthatway,yes.Haveaniceday."

"Youtoo!"

That evening, Diego came home late. He was just in time to kiss Matthew good night. Melissa,
watchingthemfromthedoorway,sawtheaffectionandprideinhisdarkfaceashelookedathisson.
How long had he known? Perhaps he'd suspected it from the beginning. She sighed, thinking how
transparentshe'dalwaysbeentohim.Shewassogreen,howcouldhehelpbutknowthatshecouldn't
sleepwithanyoneexcepthim?Probablyheevenknewhowdeeplyshelovedhim.Hiscrueltyinthe
past,hisrejection,evenhisindifference,didn'tseemtoaffectherfeelings.Shewonderedwhereshe
wasgoingtogetthestrengthtoleavehim.ButifhewasthinkingabouttakingMatthewawayfrom
her,shewouldn'thaveanychoice.

He'd never made any secret of his opinion about love. He didn't believe in it. She had no reason to
suspectthathisfeelingshadchangedovertheyears.

He loved Matthew, if he loved anyone. Melissa was a complication he didn't really seem to want.
Whenhestoodupandmovedtothedoor,Melissahidhereyesfromhim.Shedidn'twanthimtosee
theworryinthem.

"Joyce said you're taking her out to lunch tomorrow," he remarked after she'd called another good
nighttoMatthewandclosedhisbedroomdoor.

"Yes.IthoughtImighttrygettingoutoftheapartmentalittlebit,"shesaid."It's...lonelyhere."

Hestoppedatherbedroomdoor,hiseyesdarkandquiet.

"Itwillnotalwaysbelikethis,"hesaid."Whentimepermits,nowthatyouareabletogetaround,we
willfindsomethingsthatwecandoasafamily."

Shesmiledwistfully."Youdon'tneedtofeelobligatedtoincludeme."

Hefrowned."Why?"

She'dforgottenhowcleverhewas.Sheavertedhereyes.

"Well,boysliketobewithmensometimeswithoutwomenalong,don'tthey?"

He eyed her curiously. He'd expected her to say more than that. He felt irritable at his own
disappointment.Whathadheexpected?She'dheldoutsolongnowthathedidn'treallyexpectherto
givein.Hewasgivingwayslowlytoablackdepression.He'dleftheralone,hopingshe'dcometo
him and tell him the truth, and she hadn't. Suppose he'd misjudged her feelings? What if she didn't
care?Whatifshelefthim,nowthatshedidn'tneedhimtotakecareofher?

He barely remembered that she'd asked him a question. "I suppose it is good for Matthew to spend
some time with just me," he answered her wearily. His face mirrored his fatigue. There were new,
harshlinesonit.Hestudiedherslowlyforamomentbeforeheturnedaway."Ihavehadalongday.If
youdon'tmind,SenoraLaremos,Iprefersleeptoconversation."

"Ofcourse.Goodnight,"shesaid,surprisedbyhistoneaswellasbythewayhelooked.

Henoddedandwentdownthehall.Shewatchedhim,hereyeswistfulandsoftandfullofregret.Love
wasn'tthesweetthingthemoviesmadeofit,shethoughtbitterly.Itwaspainfulandlong-suffering
for all its sweetness. He wanted Matthew, but did he want her? She wondered what she was
goingtodo.

Sheturnedawayandwentintoherownbedroom,looking at herself in the mirror. She looked
thinnerandolder,andtherewerenewlinesinherface.DidDiegoeverthinkaboutthepast,she
wondered,aboutthetimesthetwoofthemhadgoneridingintheGuatemalanvalleysandtalked
aboutadistantfuture?Shethoughtofitoften,ofthewayDiegohadoncebeen.

She opened her chest of drawers and pulled out the snapshot she'd taken of Diego the day
beforeherfatherhadfoundtheminthehills.Herfingerstouchedthefacelightlyandshesighed.
Howlongagoitallseemed,howfutile.She'dlovedhim,andpainwastheonlytruememoryshe
had.Ifonly,shethought,he'dlovedheralittleinreturn.Butperhapshereallywasn'tcapable
ofit.Shetuckedthephotoawayandclosedthedrawers.Dreamswerenosubstituteforreality.

CHAPTEREIGHT

THE RESTAURANT THAT JOYCE and Melissa went to was small and featured French cuisine.
Melissa picked her way through a delicious chicken-and-broccoli crepe and a fresh melon while
Joycefrownedoverherelaboratebeefdish.

"You'reveryquietforsomeonewhowantedtotalk,"

Joyce remarked fifteen minutes into the exquisite meal, her dark eyes quietly scrutinizing Melissa's
face.

Melissasighed."I'vegotaproblem."

Joycesmiled."Whohasn't?"

"Yes.Well,mineisabouttomakemepackabagandleaveChicago."

Joyceputdownherfork."Inthatcase,I'mallears."

Melissapickeduphercoffeecupandsippedthesweet,darkliquid."MatthewisDiego'sson,"shesaid.
"ThesonItoldhimIlostbeforeIranawayfromhimfiveyearsago."

"That'saproblem?"Joyceaskedblankly.

"Ididn'tthinkheknew.Hedidn'tseemtolikeMattatfirst,butnowthey'reinseparable.Ithoughtthat
maybe he was beginning to accept Matt even though he thought he was another man's son. But
yesterdayIfoundacopyofMatthew'sbirthcertificateinhisdeskdrawer."

"Ifheknows,everythingwillbeallright,won'tit?"Joyceaskedher.

"That's just it," Melissa said miserably. "It was important to me that he'd believe Matt was his son,
withoutproof,thathe'dbelieveIcouldneverhavebetrayedhim.ButnowI'llneverbesure.Andlately
Diegoactsasifhedoesn'twantmearound.IeventhinkIknowwhy.HeknowsthatMattishis,andhe
hatesmeforlettinghimthinkIlosthischild."

Joyceblinked."Comeagain?"

"That'sreallyalongstory."Melissasmiledandstaredintohercoffee."IthoughtIwasjustifiedatthe
timenottotellhimorgetintouchwithhim.Thewayheusedtofeelaboutme,Iwassurehe'dtryto
takeMattaway."

"Maybehewouldhave,"theotherwomansaidgently.

"Youcan'tblameyourselftoomuch.Youmusthavehadgoodreasons."

Melissaliftedtorturedeyes."DidI?Oh,there'sbeenfaultonbothsides,youknow.Butnowthathe

knowsMattishis,hehastobethinkingaboutallthetimehe'smissedwithhisson.Hehastoblame
me for that, even though I had provocation. And now I'm afraid that he may be trying to win Matt
awayfromme.Hemaytakehimaway!"

"Thatispurehysteria,"Joycesaidfirmly."Getholdofyourself,girl!Youcan'trunawaythistime.
You'vegottostayandfightforyourson.Cometothinkofit,"sheadded,"youmighttryfightingfor
yourhusbandaswell.

Hemarriedyou.Hehadtocareaboutyou."

Melissagrimacedasshefingeredhercup."Diegodidn'treallywanttomarryme.Wewerefoundina
compromising situation, which he thought I planned, and he was forced to marry me. He and his
family made me feel like a leper, and when I discovered that I was pregnant, I couldn't bear the
thoughtofbringingupmychildinsuchanatmosphereofhatred.SoIlethimthinkIlostthebabyand
Iranaway."

"There'snochancethathelovesyou?"

Shesmiledwistfully."Diegowasamercenaryforevenlongerthantherestofthegroup.Hetoldme
oncethathedidn'tbelieveinlove,thatitwasaluxuryhecouldn'tafford.Hewantsme.Butthat'sall."

Joycestudiedherfriend'ssadexpression."YouandIareunluckyinlove,"shesaidfinally."Iworkfor
amanwhohatesmeandyoulivewithamanwhodoesn'tloveyou."

"YouhateApollo,too,"Melissapointedout.

Joycesmiled,hereyeswistful."DoI?"

"Oh."Melissaputthecupdown."Isee."

"I give him the response he expects to keep him from seeing how I really feel. Look at me," she
moaned. "He's a handsome, rich, successful man. Why would he want someone as plain and
unattractiveasIam?IwishIwereasprettyasyouare."thoughthewasanotherman'sson.

ButyesterdayIfoundacopyofMatthew'sbirthcertificateinhisdeskdrawer."

"Ifheknows,everythingwillbeallright,won'tit?"Joyceaskedher.

'That's just it," Melissa said miserably. "It was important to me that he'd believe Matt was his son,
withoutproof,thathe'dbelieveIcouldneverhavebetrayedhim.ButnowI'llneverbesure.Andlately
Diegoactsasifhedoesn'twantmearound.IeventhinkIknowwhy.HeknowsthatMattishis,andhe
hatesmeforlettinghimthinkIlosthischild."

Joyceblinked."Comeagain?"

"That'sreallyalongstory."Melissasmiledandstaredintohercoffee."IthoughtIwasjustifiedatthe
timenottotellhimorgetintouchwithhim.Thewayheusedtofeelaboutme,Iwassurehe'dtryto

takeMattaway."

"Maybehewouldhave,"theotherwomansaidgently.

"Youcan'tblameyourselftoomuch.Youmusthavehadgoodreasons."

Melissaliftedtorturedeyes."DidI?Oh,there'sbeenfaultonbothsides,youknow.Butnowthathe
knowsMattishis,hehastobethinkingaboutallthetimehe'smissedwithhisson.Hehastoblame
me for that, even though I had provocation. And now I'm afraid that he may be trying to win Matt
awayfromme.Hemaytakehimaway!"

"Thatispurehysteria,"Joycesaidfirmly."Getholdofyourself,girl!Youcan'trunawaythistime.
You'vegottostayandfightforyourson.Cometothinkofit,"sheadded,"youmighttryfightingfor
yourhusbandaswell.

Hemarriedyou.Hehadtocareaboutyou."

Melissagrimacedasshefingeredhercup."Diegodidn'treallywanttomarryme.Wewerefoundina
compromising situation, which he thought I planned, and he was forced to marry me. He and his
family made me feel like a leper, and when I discovered that I was pregnant, I couldn't bear the
thoughtofbringingupmychildinsuchanatmosphereofhatred.SoIlethimthinkIlostthebabyand
Iranaway."

"There'snochancethathelovesyou?"

Shesmiledwistfully."Diegowasamercenaryforevenlongerthantherestofthegroup.Hetoldme
oncethathedidn'tbelieveinlove,thatitwasaluxuryhecouldn'tafford.Hewantsme.Butthat'sall."

Joycestudiedherfriend'ssadexpression."YouandIareunluckyinlove,"shesaidfinally."Iworkfor
amanwhohatesmeandyoulivewithamanwhodoesn'tloveyou."

"YouhateApollo,too,"Melissapointedout.

Joycesmiled,hereyeswistful."DoI?"

"Oh."Melissaputthecupdown."Isee."

"I give him the response he expects to keep him from seeing how I really feel. Look at me," she
moaned. "He's a handsome, rich, successful man. Why would he want someone as plain and
unattractiveasIam?IwishIwereasprettyasyouare."

"Me?Pretty?"Melissawashonestlyastounded.

Joycegloweredather."DoyouloveDiego?"

Itwasahardquestiontoanswerhonestly,butintheendshehadto."Ialwayshave,"sheconfessed."I
supposeIalwayswill."

"Thenwhydon'tyoustoprunningawayfromhimandstartrunningtowardhim?"Joycesuggested.
"Runninghasn'tmadeyouveryhappy,hasit?"

"It'smademeprettymiserable.ButhowcanIstaywithamanwhodoesn'twantme?"

"Youcouldmakehimwantyou."ShereachedoutandtouchedMelissa'shand."Isheworthfighting
for?"

"Oh,yes!"

"Thendoit.Stoplettingthepastcreatebarriers."

Melissafrownedslightly."Idon'tknowverymuchabouthowtovampaman."

Joyceshrugged."NeitherdoI.Sowhat?Wecanlearntogether."

This was sounding more delightful by the minute. Melissa was nervous, but she knew that Diego
wantedher,andtheknowledgegaveherhope."Isupposewecouldgiveitatry.Ifthingsdon'twork
out—"

'Trustme.They'llworkout."

"Then if I have to do it, so do you." Melissa pursed her lips. "Did you know that I was an assistant
buyerforaclothingstore?Ihaveapassableeyeforfashion,andIknowwhatlooksgoodonpeople.
Supposewegoshoppingtogether.I'llshowyouwhattobuytomakeyoustandout."

Joyceraisedhereyebrows."Why?"

"Becausewithverylittleworkyoucouldbeaknockout.

Thinkofit,Apolloonhiskneesatyourdesk,sighingwithadoration,"shecoaxed.

Joyce grimaced. "The only way he'd be on his knees at my desk would be if I kicked him in the
stomach."

"Pessimist!You'retheonegivingthepeptalk.Supposewebothlistentoyouandtrytopracticewhat
youpreach?"

Theotherwomansighed."Well,whathavewegottolose,afterall?"

"Not much, from where I'm sitting. How about Saturday morning? You can take me to the right
departmentstores,andI'llmakesuggestions."

"Idohavealittleinmysavingsaccount,"Joycemurmured.Shesmiled."Allright.We'lldoit."

"Great!"Melissastartedonherdessert."Amazinghowgoodthisfoodtastesallofasudden.IthinkI
feel-betteralready."

"SodoI.ButifApollothrowsmeoutthewindow,you'reinalotoftrouble."

"Hewon't.Eatup."

Melissa'sheadwasfullofideas.Joycehadinspiredher.

Shehadn'treallytriedtocatchDiego'seyesincethey'dbeenbacktogether.Evenintheolddaysshe'd
neverquiteliveduptoherpotential.Shewasn'tanymoreexperiencednow,butshewaswell-traveled
and she'd learned a lot from listening to other women talk and watching them in action as they
attractedmen.Shewasgoingtoturnthetablesonherreluctanthusbandandseeifshecouldn'tmake
him like captivity. Whether or not the attempt failed, she had to try. Joyce was right. Running away
hadonlycomplicatedthings.Thistime,shehadtostandandfight.

Whileshewasout,she'dboughtamemorycardgameforMatthew,andwhenDiegocamehomethat
night she was sprawled on the carpet with her son. She made a pretty picture in a clinging beige
sleevelessblouseandtightjeans.Diegopausedinthedoorway,andwhenshesawhimsherolledonto
herside,strikingafranklyseductivepose.

"Goodevening,SenorLaremos,"shemurmured.

"Matthewhasanewgame."

"I can remember where the apple is," Matthew enthused, jumping up to hug his father and babble
excitedlyaboutthegameandhowhe'dalreadybeatenMamaonce.

"Hehasaquickmind,"DiegoremarkedashestudiedthelargepileofmatchedcardsonMatthew's
sideoftheplayingareaandthesmalloneonMelissa's.

"Veryquick,"sheagreed,laughingatMatthew'ssmuglittleface."Andhe'smodest,too."

"Iknoweverything,"Matthewsaidwithinnocentcertainty."Willyouplaywithus,Papa?"

"Afterdinner,nino"thetallmanagreed."Imustchange,andthereisaphonecallIhavetomake."

"Okay!"Matthewwentbacktoturningovercards.

"Onlytwo,"Melissacautioned."It'scheatingifyoukeeppeekingunderallofthem."

"Yes,Mama."

Shetookherturn,awarethatDiego'seyeswereonthedeepveeofherblouse,underwhichshewas
wearingnothingatall.

Shesatupagain,glancingathim."Issomethingwrong,senor?"

"Ofcoursenot.Excuseme."Heturned,frowning,andwentofftowardhisbedroom.Melissasmiled
secretivelyasshewatchedMatthewmatchtwooranges.

DinnerwasnoisybecauseMrs.AlbrighthadtakenMatthewdowntothelobbytomeetherdaughter
and grandson, who were just back from a Mexican trip, and the daughter had given Matt a small
wooden toy, a ball on a string that had to be bounced into the cup it was attached to. Matt was
overjoyedwithbothhisnewfriendandhistoy.

"Ah," Diego smiled. "Yes, these are very common in my part of the world, and your mother's," he
added with a smile at Melissa. "Are they not, querida? I can remember playing with one as a child
myself."

"Wherewelivedtherewerenotoystores,"shetoldMatthew."Welivedfarbackinthecountry,neara
volcano, and there were ancient Mayan ruins all around." She colored a little, remembering one
particular ruin. She looked at Diego and found the same memory in his dark eyes as they searched
hers.

"Si,"hesaidgently."Theruinswere...potent."

Her lips parted. "Five years," she said, her eyes more eloquent than she knew. "And sometimes it
seemslikedays."

"Notforme,"hesaidabruptly,drawinghiseyesbacktohiscoffeecup."Ithasnotbeeneasy,living
throughtheblacktimethatcameafterward."

Matthew was trying to play with his toy, but Melissa took it and put it firmly beside his plate,
indicatingthatheshouldeathisfoodfirst.Hegrimacedandpickeduphisfork.

"Didyouneverthinkofcontactingme?"heaskedunexpectedly,andhiseyesnarrowed.Itdisturbed
him more and more, thinking about all he'd missed. Understanding the reason for Melissa's actions
didn'tmakethelackofcontactwithhischildanyeasiertobear.He'dmissedsomuchoftheboy'slife,
allthethingsthatmostfathersexperiencedandcherishedinmemory.Matt'sfirstword,hisfirststep,
theearlydayswhenparentsandchildrenbecamebonded.He'dhadnoneofthat.

Melissasighedsadly,rememberingwhenMatthewhadbeenbornandhowdesperatelyshe'dwanted
Diego. But he hadn't wanted her. He'd made it so plain after their marriage, and even after her fall
downthestepshe'dbeenunapproachable."Ithoughtaboutitonce,"shesaidquietly,wonderingifhe
wasgoingtoaccuseherofdenyinghimhisrights.Shewouldn'thavehadareply.

"But you'd made it clear that I had no place in your life, Diego, that you only married me to spare
yourfamilymoredisgrace."

He studied his cup. "You never considered that I might have had a change of heart, Melissa? That I
mighthaveregretted,bitterly,mytreatmentofyou?"

"No,"shesaidhonestly.Herpaleeyessearchedhisdarkones."Ididn'twanttoplayonyourguilt.It
wasbetterthatItookcareofmyself."Shedroppedhergazetothetable.

"AndMatt."

"Itmusthavebeendifficultwhenhewasborn,"heprobed,tryingtodrawherout.

She smiled faintly, remembering. "Something went wrong," she murmured. "They had to do a
cesareansection."

Hecaughthisbreath."MyGod.Andyouhadnoonetoturnto."

She looked at Matthew warmly. "I managed very well. I had neighbors who were kind, and the
companyIworkedforwasveryunderstanding.Mybossmadesuremyinsurancepaidallmybills,
andheevengavemeanadvanceonmysalarysothatwehadenoughtoeat."

His fingers contracted around the cup almost hard enough to break it. It didn't bear thinking about.
Melissamusthavebeeninseverepain,aloneandwithaninfanttoberesponsiblefor.Hiseyesclosed.
Ithurthimterriblytothinkthatifhe'dbeenkindertoherhecouldhavesharedthatdifficultywithher.
Hecouldhavebeentherewhenshe'dneededsomeone,beentheretotakecareofher.Hisanguishat
beingdeniedallthoseyearswithMattseemedasmallthingbycomparison.

"Itwasn'tsobad,Diego,"shesaidsoftly,becausetherewaspaininhisface."Reallyitwasn't.Andhe
wasthesweetestbaby—"

Diegogotupabruptly."Ihavephonecallstomake.

Pleaseexcuseme."

Melissawatchedhim,achingforhim.Hisstiffbacksaiditall.Sherealizedthenthatitwasn'tsomuch
herpredicamentasmissingthebirthofhissonthathadhurthim.Shefeltguiltyaboutthat,too,but
therewasnothingtobedoneaboutitnow.

Diegowentintothestudyandclosedthedoor,leaningheavilybackagainstit.Hecouldn'tstandthe
anguishofknowingwhatshe'dsufferedbecauseofhim.Ifonlyhecouldtalktoher.Barehisheart.
Tellherwhathereallyfelt,howmuchsheandtheboymeanttohim.Hewonderedsometimesifhe
wasstillcapableofrealemotion.Hispasthadbeensoviolent,andtendernesshadnoplaceinit.He
wasonlynowlearningthathewascapableofit,withhischildandevenwithMelissa,whomoreand
morewasbecomingtheonebeautifulthinginhislife.Thelongertheystayedtogether,theharderit
becameforhimtohidehisincreasinghungerforher.Notthatitwascompletelyphysicalnow,asit
had been in the very beginning in Guatemala. No. It was becoming so much more. But he was
uncertain of her. She changed before his eyes, first resentful, then shy and remote, and now she
seemedoddlyaffectionateandteasing.

That,ofcourse,couldbesimplyakindofrepayment,forhishavingtakencareofherandMattand
giventhemahomewhenshe'dneededtimetoheal.Wasthatit?Wasitgratitude,orwasitsomething
more?Hecouldn'ttell.

But perhaps it was too soon. She didn't trust him enough to tell him about Matthew. When she did,
theremightbetimeforsuchconfessions.

MelissawentbackintothelivingroomwithMatthewandspreadthememorycardsoutonthefloor.

They were into the second round before Diego came in again. He'd taken off his jacket and tie and
rolledupthesleevesofhiswhiteshirt.Itwasunbuttonedinfront,andMelissa'seyeswenthelplessly
tothehair-coveredexpanseofbrownmuscle.

He noticed her glance and delighted in her response to him. No woman had ever made him feel as
masculineandproudasMelissa.Hersofteyeshadalightinthemwhenshelookedathimthatmade
hisbodysingwithpleasure.

Desirewastheonethinghewascertainof.Shecouldn'tbegintohideitfromhisexperiencedeyes.

"Playwithus,Papa!"Matthewcalled,invitingthetallmandownontothecarpetwiththem.

"We'llmakeroomforyou,"Melissasaid,smilingsoftly.

She moved toward Matthew, making a space beside her where she was lying on her stomach and
liftingcards.

"Perhapsforamomentortwo,"Diegoagreed.HetookoffhisshoesandslidalongsideMelissa,the
warm,cologne-scentedlengthofhisbodyalmosttouchinghers.

"Howdoesoneplaythisgame?"

They explained it to him and watched him turn over two cards that matched. Matthew laughed and
Melissagroanedashepulledthemnearhimandmadeaneatstack.

HesmiledatMelissawithawickedtwinkleinhisblackeyes."Iwaswatchingfromthedoorway,"he
confessed.

"Althoughnotsomuchthecardsas—"hisgazewenttoherderriere,sonicelyoutlinedinthetight
jeans"—otherthings."

Sheflushed,buthergazedidn'tfalter."Lecher,"sheaccusedinawhisper,teasing.

Thatsurprisedanddelightedhim.Hisgazedroppedtohersmilingmouth,andhebentsuddenlyand
brushedhislipsoverhersinawhisperofpressure.

Matthewlaughedjoyfully."Bobby'smamaanddaddyusedtokisslikethat,onlyBobbysaidhismama
usedtokisshisdaddyallthetime."

Diegochuckled."Yourmamaisnotuptokissingme,nino.Sheisweakfromheraccident."

Melissa glanced at him mischievously. "Matt, will you go to the kitchen and bring me a cold soft
drink,please?Andbecarefulnottoopenit,okay?"

"Okay!"Hejumpedupandranfromtheroom.

Melissa smiled at Diego wickedly. "So I'm too weak to kiss you, am I, senor?" she murmured with
softbravado,enjoyingthedark,glitteringpleasureshereadinhisfaintlyshockedeyes.

Sherolledover,pushinghimgentlyontothecarpet.Hechuckledwithopendelightasshebentover
himandkissedhimwithafervorthatdraggedareluctantgroanfromhislipsbeforehisarmsreached
upandgatheredheragainsthim.

"Tooweak,amI?"Melissabreathedintohishardmouth.

Hishandcontractedinhersoft,wavyblondhair,andthebristlypressureofhismouthgrewroughas
he turned her gently and eased her down onto the carpet. She could feel the fierce thunder of his
heartbeat against her breasts as her arms curled around his neck and she sighed into his hungry
mouth.Herbloodsangatthesweetcontact.Heliftedhisheadabruptly,andshesawthesavagedesire
intheblackeyesthatstaredunblinkingintohers.

"Cuidado"hemurmured."Youtemptfate."

"Notfate,"shewhisperedunsteadily."Onlyyou,senor"

Herhandslidunderhisshirt,againsthisbody,herfingersspearingintothedarkhairthatcoveredhis
warmmuscles.

He stiffened, and she sighed contentedly. "Well, if you don't want to be assaulted, keep your shirt
buttoned."

He laughed, thrown completely off balance by the way she was acting with him. "Dios, what has
becomeofmyshylittlejungleorchid?"

"Shegrewup."Hersofteyessearchedhis."Youdon'tmind...?"

Hepressedherhandagainsthischest."No,"hesaidquietly."Dowhatyouplease,littleone.Solongas
youdonotmindtheinevitableconsequenceofsuchactionsasthis.Youunderstand?"

"Iunderstand,"shewhispered,hereyeswarmwithsecrets.

Asshespoke,shedrewoneofDiego'shandstoherbodyandsatupgracefully.Holdinghiseyes,she
pressedhispalmagainstherblousewheretherewasnofabrictoconcealthehardthrustofherbody.

Hisbreathsighedoutashishandcaressedher."Isthispremeditated?"heaskedroughly.

"Oh, yes," she confessed, leaning her head against his shoulder because his touch was so sweet.
"Diego—"

Hedrewhishandaway."No.Nothere."

Shelookedupathim."Notinterested?"sheaskedbravely.

Hisjawclenched."Sweetidiot,"hebreathed."IfIheldyouagainstmenow,myinterestwouldbeall
tooapparent.Butthisisnotthegameweneedtobeplayingatthemoment."

Sheclearedherthroat,awareofwheretheywere."Yes.

Ofcourse."Shesmiled,avoidinghiseyes,andturnedoveragainasMattcamerushingbackintothe
room with her soft drink. She opened it after thanking the laughing little boy. Then sighing, she
turnedbacktothegame.

Diegoloungednearby,watchingbutnotparticipating.

Thelookinhisdarkeyeswassoftanddangerous,andhehardlyglancedawayfromMelissaforthe
restoftheevening.Buthisattitudewasbothcuriousandremote.Heseemedtosuspecthermotives
forthisnewardor,andshelosthernervebecauseofit,withdrawingintohershellagain.Therewere
timeswhenDiegoseemedverymuchastranger.

Matthewwasputtobedeventually.MelissakeptherexpressionhiddenfromDiegobutfeltherknees
knockingeverytimehecameclose.Shewishedsheknewifherforwardnesshadoffendedhim,but
shewastooshytoaskhim.WhilehewasbiddingMatthewgoodnight,shecalledherowngoodnight
andwentintoherroom.Shelockeditforthefirsttimesinceshe'dcometotheapartment,andonly
breathed again when she heard his footsteps going down the hall. To her secret chagrin, the steps
didn'tevenhesitateatherdoor.

OnSaturday,MelissaandJoycespenttheentiredaybuyingclothesandhavingtheirhairdone.The
colors she pointed Joyce toward were flamboyant and colorful, bringing attention to her lovely
figureandmakingthemostofherexquisitecomplexion.

"Thesearesexyclothes,"Joycesaid,hermisgivingsevidentasshetriedonadresswithahaltertop
thatclunglikeivytoherslenderbody.Thecolorwasaswirlofredsandyellowsandorangesand
whites,anditsuitedherbeautifully."I'llneverbeabletopullthisoff."

"Ofcourseyouwill,"Melissaassuredher."Allyoureallyneedisalittleself-confidence.Theclothes
willgiveyouthatandimproveyourposture,too.You'llfeelslinky,soyou'llwalklikeacat.Tryit
andsee."

Joycelaughednervously,butwhenshegotalookatherselfinoneoftheexclusiveboutique'sfull-
lengthmirrors,sheblinkedanddrewinherbreath.Itwasasifshesuddenlyfeltreborn.Shebeganto
walk,hesitantlyatfirst,thenwithmoreandmorepoise,untilshewasmovinglikethegracefulWest
Indianwomanshewas.

"Yes!" Melissa laughed, clapping her hands. "Yes, that's exactly what I expected. You have a natural
graceofcarriage,butyou'vebeenhidingitindrab,looseclothing.

Youhaveabeautifulfigure.Showitoff!"

Joycecouldhardlybelievewhatshewasseeing.Shetriedonanotheroutfitandaturban,andseemed
astonishedbytheelegantcreaturewholookedoutofthemirrorather.

"Thatcan'tbeme"shemurmured.

"Butitis."Melissagrinned."Comeon.You'vegottheclothes.Nowlet'sgettherestoftheimage."

ShetookJoycetoahairstylistwhodidherhairinafashionablecutthattookyearsoffherageand
gave her even more poise, drawing her long hair back into an elegant bun with wisps around her
smallears.Shelookedsuddenlylikeapainting,allsmoothlinesandgracefulcurves.

"Justonemorething,"Melissamurmured,andtookherfriendtothecosmeticsdepartment.

Joyce was given a complete make-over, with an expert cosmetician to show her which colors of
powdertohavemixedespeciallyforherandwhichlipsticksandeyeshadowsandblusherstosetoff
hercreamy,blem-ishlesscomplexion.

"Thatisnotme,"Joyceassuredherimagewhenthewomanwasfinishedandsmilingcontentedlyat
herhandiwork.

"PoorApollo,"Melissasaidwithafaintsmile."Poor,poorman.He'sdonefor."

Joyce'sheartwasinherbigeyes."Ishereally?"

"Iwouldsayso,"Melissaassuredher."Now.Let'sgetmywardrobecompletedandthenwe'llgetto
workonthemenuforadinnerpartyMondaynight.Butyoucan'twearanyofyournewclothesor
makeupuntilthen,"shecautioned."Ithastobearealsurprise."

Joycegrinnedbackather."Okay.Icanhardlywait!"

"Thatmakestwoofus!"

Melissa still had a little money in her own bank account, which she'd had Diego move to Chicago
fromTucson.

Shedrewonthattobuysomenewthingsofherown.Shehadherownhairstyled,aswell,andopted
forthemakeupjob.Shetingledwithanticipationandfear.Diegowasn'tthesameeasygoingmanshe'd
knowninGuatemala.Hewasmuchmoremature,andhisexperienceintimidatedher.Ifonlyshecould
gethernerveback.Shehadto,becauseheseemeddeterminednottomakethefirstmove.

BythetimesheandJoycefinishedandwentbacktotheapartment,itwasalmostdarkandMelissawas
limpingalittle.

"You'veoverdoneit,"Joycemoaned."Oh,Ihopeallthishasn'tcausedasetback!"

"I'mjustsore,"Melissaassuredher."Anditwasfun!

Waituntilnextweek,andthenthefireworksbegin.Don'tyoudaregoneartheofficelikethat."

"Iwouldn'tdreamofshockingApollointoanervousbreakdown,"theotherwomanpromised."I'llgo
homeandpracticeslinking.Melissa,Icanneverthankyouenough."

Melissaonlysmiled."Whatarefriendsfor?Yougavemethepeptalk.TheleastIcoulddowashelp
yououtalittle.

Youlookgreat,bytheway.Reallypretty."

Joycebeamed."Ihopethatwildmanattheofficethinksso."

"Youmarkmywords,hewill.Goodnight.""Goodnight."

Melissa let herself into the apartment. Mrs. Albright had the evening off, and it was a shock to find
Diegoandtheirsoninthekitchenwithspicysmellswaftingupfromthestove.

Diego was wearing Mrs. Albright's long white apron over his slacks and sports shirt, and little
Matthewwasbusilytearinguplettucetomakeasalad.

"Whatareyoudoing?"Melissaburstoutaftershe'ddepositedherpackagesontheliving-roomsofa.

"Makingdinner,querida"Diegosaidwithasmile."Oursonispreparingaheart-of-lettucesalad,and
Iammakingchiliandenchiladas.DidyouandJoycehaveagoodtime?"

"Awonderfultime.Mygoodness,can'tIhelp?"

"Ofcourse.Setthetable,ifyouplease.Anddonotdisturbthecooks,"headdedwithawickedglance.

She laughed softly, moving to his side. She reached up impulsively and brushed a kiss against his
hardcheek.

"You're a darling. Can I have the van Meers and the Brettmans and Apollo and Joyce to dinner
Mondaynight?"

Diegocaughthisbreathatherclosenessandtheunexpectedkiss."Littleone,youcanhavetheboy's
clubwrestlingteamoverifthischangeinyouispermanent."

"HaveIchanged?"shemused,herpalegrayeyessearchinghisassheclungtohisarmandsmiled,
encouragedbyhissmileandthesoftnessinhisdarkeyes.

"Morethanyourealize,perhaps.Theleg,itisnotpainful?"

"Alittlestiff,that'sall."

"Papa,somethingisburning,"Matthewpointedout.

Diegojerkedhisattentionbacktotheheavyironskillethewasusing,andhebegantostirthebeef
quickly."Thecookhadbetterreturntothechili,amada,orwewillallstarve.Dessertmustwait,for
themoment,"headdedinatonethatmadehertoescurl.

"Asyouwish,senor.Shelaughedsoftly,movingawayreluctantlytoputthedishesandsilverwareon
thetable.

It was the best meal she could remember in a long time, and dinner brought with it memories of
Guatemalaanditsspicycuisine.SheandDiegotalked,butofworkandshoppingtripsandhowmuch

Diego had enjoyed the trip to the zoo with Matthew, who enthused about seeing a real lion. For the
firsttime,therewerenoarguments.

When the little boy was put to bed, Melissa curled up on the sofa to watch a movie on cable while
Diegoapologeticallydidpaperwork.

"Thisisnewtome,"hemurmuredashescribblednotes.

"But I find that I like the involvement in Apollo's company, as well as the challenge of helping
businessmenlearntocombatterrorism."

"Isupposeit'sallveryhush-hush,"sheventured.

"Assuredly so." He chuckled. "Or what would be the purpose in having such a business to teach
survivaltactics,hmm?"

Shepushedherhairawayfromherface."Diego...howdoyouthinkApolloreallyfeelsaboutJoyce?"

He looked up. "No, no," he cautioned, waving a lean finger at her with an indulgent smile. "Such
conversationsareprivileged.IwillnotshareApollo'ssecretswithyou."

Shecoloredsoftly."Fairenough.Iwon'ttellyouJoyce's."

"Youlookjustasyoudidatsixteen,"hesaidsoftly,watchingher,"whenIrefusedtotakeyoutothe
bullringwithme.Youremember,querida?Youwouldnotspeaktomefordaysafterward."

"I'dhavegonetoasnakecharmer'scelltobewithyouinthosedays,"sheconfessedquietly."Iadored
you."

"Iknewthat.ItwaswhyIwassocarefultokeepyouatarm'slength.Isucceededparticularlywell,in
fact,untilwewerecutoffbyabandofguerrillasandforcedtohideoutinaMayanruin.AndthenI
lostmyheadandsatisfiedahungerthathadbeengnawingatmeforalong,longtime."

"Andpaidtheprice,"sheaddedquietly.

Hesighed."YoupaidmorethanIdid.Inevermeanttohurtyou.Itwasdifficultknowingthatmyown
lackofcontrolhadledmetothatprecipiceandpushedmeover.Ishouldneverhaveaccusedyouof
trappingme."

"Buttherewassomuchanimosityinourpasts,"shesaid.

"Andyoudidn'tloveme."

Hisdarkeyesnarrowed."Itoldyouoncethatmyemotionsweredeeplyburied."

"Yes. I remember. You needn't worry, Diego," she said wearily. "I know you don't have anything to
offerme,andI'mnotaskingforanything.Onlyforaroofovermyheadandthechancetoraisemy
sonwithouthavingtogoonwelfare."Herpaleeyessearchedhishardface."ButI'llgladlygetajob

andpullmyweight.Iwantyoutoknowthat."

Heglaredather."HaveIaskedforsuchasacrifice?"

"Well,youaren'tgettinganyotherbenefits,areyou?"shemuttered."AllI'mgivingyouistwomore
mouthstofeedandmemoriesofthepastthatmustbebitteranduncomfortable."

He got up, holding his paperwork in one clenched fist. He stared at her angrily. "You build walls,
whenIseekonlytoremovebarriers.Westillhavealongwaytogo,querida.Butbeforewecanmake
astart,youhavetolearntotrustme."

'Trustisdifficult,"sheretorted,glaringathim."Andyoubetrayedmeonce."

"Yes.DidyounotbetraymewithMatthew'sfather?"

Shestartedtospeakandcouldn't.Sheturnedandlefttheroom,hernewresolveforgottenintheheat
of anger. They seemed to grow farther apart every day, and she couldn't get through to Diego, no
matterhowhardshetried.

Perhapsthedinnerpartywouldopenafewdoors.

Meanwhile,she'dbidehertimeandpray.Hehadtocarealittleabouther.Ifnot,whywouldthepast
evenmattertohim?Thethoughtgavehersomehope,atleast.

CHAPTERNINE

THEONECONSOLATIONMELISSAhadafterasleeplessnightwastheequallybloodshotlookof
Diego'seyes.

Apparentlytheirdifferenceofopinionthenightbeforehadtroubledhimasmuchasithadher.And
untiltheargument,thingshadbeengoingsowell.WasDiegoright?Wasshebuildingwalls?

ShedressedforchurchandhelpedMatthewintothehandsomebluesuitthatDiegohadinsistedthey
buyhim.

She didn't knock on the door of Diego's room as they went into the living room. He was already
there,dressedinaverybecomingbeigesuit.

He turned, his dark eyes sweeping over the pale rose dress she wore, which emphasized the soft
curvesofherbody.

Intheweeksofherrecovery,herthinnesshadlefther.

Shelookedmuchhealthiernow,andherbodywasexquisitelyappealing.Healmostgroundhisteeth
attheeffectjustgazingatherhadonhim.

"Youlooklovely,"hesaidabsently.

"I'dlooklovelierifIgotmoresleep,"shereturned."Wearguesomuchlately,Diego."

Hesighed,movingclosetoher.Matthewtookadvantageoftheirdistractiontoturnonaneducational
children'sprogramandlaughwithdelightatsomerhymes.

"Andatatimewhenweshouldhavelaidtheghoststorest,si?"heasked.Hisleanhandsrestedgently
onhershoulders,caressingherskinthroughthesoftfabric.Hisblackeyessearchedhersrestlessly.
"Alittletrust,nina,isallthatweneed."

Shesmiledwistfully."Andwhatneitherofusseemtohave."

Hebenttobrushhismouthsoftlyoverherlips."Letitcomenaturally,"hewhispered."Thereisstill
time,istherenot?"

Tearsstunghereyesatthetendernessinhisdeepvoice.

Sheliftedherarmsandtwinedthemaroundhisneck,herfingerscaressingthethickhairattheback
ofhishead."Ihopeso,"shewhisperedachingly."ForMatthew'ssake."

"Forhis—andnotforours?"heaskedquietly."Weleadseparatelives,andthatcannotcontinue."

"Iknow."Sheleanedherforeheadagainsthisfirmchinandclosedhereyes."Youneverreallywanted

me.IsupposeIshouldbegratefulthatyoucamewhenIwentdowninthecrash.Ineverexpectedyou
totakecareofMattandme."

Hetouchedherhairabsently."HowcouldIleaveyoulikethat?"heasked.

"IthoughtyouwouldwhenyouknewaboutMatt,"sheconfessed.

Hetiltedherchinandlookedintohereyes.Hisweresolemn,unreadable."Melissa,Ihavebeenalone
allmylife,exceptforfamily.EverydayIlivedasifdeathwereatthedoor.Inevermeanttobecome
involvedwithyou.

ButIwantedyou,littleone,"hewhisperedhuskily.

"Wantedyouobsessively,untilyouwereallIbreathed.Itwasmyownlossofcontrol,myguilt,which
drove us apart. I could not bear to be vulnerable. But I was." He shrugged. "That was what sent me
from the casa. It was the reason I lied the night you ran out into the rain and had to be taken to the
hospital.Repulseme?"Helaughedbitterly."Ifonlyyouknew.Evennow,Itremblelikeaboywhen
youtouchme...."

Her heart jerked at his admission, because she could feel the soft tremor that ran through his lean
body.Butafterall,itwasonlydesire.Andshewanted,needed,somuchmore.

"Woulddesirebeenough,though?"sheaskedsadly,watchinghim.

He touched her soft cheek. "Melissa, we enjoy the same things. We like the same people. We even
agreeonpolitics.Webothlovethechild."Hesmiled."Moreimportantly,wehaveknowneachother
foroh,solong,nina.Youknowmetothesolesofmyfeet,faultsandall.

Isthatnotabetterbasisformarriagethanthedesireyouseemtothinkisouronlycommonground?"

"Youmightfallinlovewithsomeone—"shebegan.

He touched her mouth with a lean forefinger. "Why not tempt me into falling in love with you,
querida?"hemurmured."Thesenewclothesandthewayyouplaylatelyhavemoreeffectthanyou
realize."Hebenttowardher.

Shemethislipswithoutrestraint,smilingagainsttheirwarmth."Couldyou?"

"CouldIwhat?"hewhispered.

"Fallinlovewithme?"

Hechuckled."Whynottemptmeandsee?"

Shefeltasurgeofpurejoyatthesweetnessofthewayhewaslookingather,butbeforeshecould
answerhim,Mattwormedhiswaybetweenthemandwantedtoknowiftheywereevergoingtoleave
togotochurch.

They went to lunch after mass and then to a movie that Matt wanted to see. For the rest of the day,
there was a new comradeship in the way Diego reacted to her. There were no more accusations or
arguments.TheyplayedwithMattandcookedsuppertogetherforthesecondnightinarow.Andthat
night,whenMattwastuckedupandMelissasaidgoodnighttoDiego,itwaswithrealreluctancethat
shewenttoherroom.

"Momento,nina"hecalled,andjoinedheratherdoor.

Without another word, he drew her gently against him and bent to kiss her with aching tenderness.
"Sleepwell."

She touched his mouth with hers. "You...too." Her eyes asked a question she was too shy to put into
words,butheshookhishead.

"Not just yet, my own," he breathed. His black eyes searched hers. "Only when all the barriers are
downwillwetakethatlast,sweetsteptogether.Fornowitisenoughthatwebegintoleavethepast
behind.Isittomorrownightthatourguestsareexpected?"

Thesuddenchangeofsubjectwasratherlikejetlag,shethoughtamusedly,butsheadjustedtoit."Yes.
Mrs.

AlbrightandIwillnodoubtspendthedayinthekitchen,butI'vealreadycalledGabbyandDanielle
and Joyce, and they've accepted. I'm looking forward to actually meeting the other wives, although
we'vetalkedonthephonequitealot.Ilikethem."

"I like you," he said unexpectedly, and smiled. "Dream of me," he whispered, brushing his mouth
againsthersonelasttime.Thenhewasgone,quietlystridingdownthehalltohisstudy.

Melissawentintoherroom,butnottosleep.Shediddreamofhim,though.

Thenextdaywashectic.Thatevening,Melissadressednervouslyinoneofhernewdresses.Itwasa
sweetconfectionintonesofpink,mauveandlavenderwithawrappedbodiceandafullskirtandcap
sleeves.Ittookfiveyearsoffherageandmadeherlookevenmoreblondandfairthanshewas.

Shewastryingtofastenabraceletwhenshecameoutofherbedroom.Diegowasinthelivingroom,
sipping brandy. He watched her approach with a familiar darkness in his eyes, an old softness that
broughtbacksomanymemories.

"Allowme,"hesaid,puttingthebrandysnifterdowntofastenthebraceletforher.Hedidn'trelease
herarmwhenhefinished.Hefrowned,staringatthebracelet.

Sheknew immediately whyhe was staring.The bracelet was atiny strand ofwhite gold with inlaid
emeralds, an expensive bit of nothing that Diego had given her when she'd graduated from high
school.Shecoloreddelicately,andhiseyesliftedtohers.

"SolongagoIgaveyouthis,querida,"hesaidsoftly.Heliftedherwristtohislipsandkissedit.His
mustachetickledherdelicateskin."Itstillmeanssomethingtoyou—isthatwhyyoukeptitallthese

years,evenwhenyouhatedme?"heprobed.

Sheclosedhereyesatthesightoftheraven-blackheadbentoverherhand."Iwasneverabletohate
you, though," she said with a bitter laugh. Tears burned her eyes. "I tried, but you haunted me. You
alwayshave."

He drew in a steadying breath as his black head lifted and his eyes searched hers. "As you haunted
me," he breathed roughly. "And now nina ? Do you still care for me, a little, despite the past?" he
added,hopingagainsthopeformerecrumbs.

"Youneedn't pretend thatyou don't knowhow I feel aboutyou," she said,her chin trembling under
hersetlips.

"You'relikeanaddictionthatIcan'tquitecure.IgaveyoueverythingIhadtogive,andstillitwasn't
enough...!"

Tearsslippedfromhereyes.

"Melissa, don't!" He caught her to him in one smooth, graceful motion, his lean hand pressing her
faceintohisdarkdinnerjacket."Don'tcry,littleone,Ican'tbearit."

"Youhateme!"

Hisfingerscontractedinherhairandhiseyesclosed.

"No!Diosmio,amada,howcouldIhateyou?"Hischeekmovedroughlyagainsthersashesought
hermouthandfounditsuddenlywithhisinthesilenceoftheroom.Hekissedherwithundisguised
hunger,hishandsgentleatherback,smoothingherbodyintohis,caressingher.

"Partofmediedwhenyouleft.Youtooktheverycolorfrommylifeandleftmewithnothingbut
guiltandgrief."

Shehardlyheardhim.Hismouthwasinsistentandsheneededhim,wantedhim.Shewasreachingup
toholdhimwhenthedoorbellsoundedloudlyinthesilence.

He drew his head back reluctantly, and the arms that held her had a faint tremor. "No more
deceptions,"hesaidsoftly."Wemustbehonestwitheachothernow.Tonight,whentheothersleave,
wehavetotalk."

Shetouchedhismouth,tracingthethickblackmustache.

"Canyoubeartotalhonesty,Diego?"sheaskedhuskily.

"Perhapsyouunderestimateme."

"Didn'tIalways?"shesighed.

HeheardvoicesoutinthehallandreleasedMelissatotakeherhandandleadhertowardthegroup.

"Whenourguestsleave,therewillbeallthetimeintheworldtotalk.

Matthewhasgonetobed,butyoumightcheckonhimwhileIpassarounddrinkstoourvisitors.Mrs.
Albrightmentionedthathisstomachwasslightlyuneasy."

"I'llgonow."Melissafelthisfingerscurlaroundherswithathrillofpleasureandgazedupathim.
Shefoundhisdarkeyessmilingdownintohers.Ithadbeenalongtimesincethey'dbeencloselike
this,andlatelyithadbeendifficulteventotalktohim.Shereturnedthepressureofhishandasthey
joinedashell-shockedApolloandasmugJoyce.TheWestIndianwomandidn'tevenlooklikeJoyce.
ShewaswearingoneofthedressessheandMelissahadfoundwhilethey'dbeenshopping.Itwasa
cinnamon-and-rust chiffon that clung lovingly to her slender figure, with a soft cowl neckline. Her
feetwereinstrappyhighheels.Herhairwaspulledbackwithwispsatherears,andshewaswearing
themakeupshe'dboughtattheboutique.Shewasaknockout,andApollo'seyeswereregisteringthat
factwithreluctanceandpuremalice.

"NowwhatdidItellyou?"Melissaasked,gesturingatJoyce'sdress."You'rejustlovely!"

"Indeedsheis."DiegoliftedherhandtohislipsandsmiledatherwhileApolloshifteduncomfortably
andmuttered,"Goodevening,"tohishostandhostess.

"I'mjustgoingtolookinonMatthew.I'llberightback,"

Melissapromised,excusingherself.

Thelittleboywasoddlyquiet,hiseyesdrowsy.Melissapushedbackhisdarkhairandsmiledathim.

"Feelokay?"sheasked.

"Mytummydoesn't,"hesaid."Ithurts."

"Wheredoesithurt,baby?"sheaskedgently,andheindicatedthemiddleofhisstomach.Sheaskedas
manymorequestionsasshecouldmanageanddecideditwasprobablyeitheravirusorsomething
he'd eaten. Still, it could be appendicitis. If it was, it would get worse very quickly, she imagined.
She'dhavetokeepacarefuleyeonhim.

'Trytosleep,"shesaid,hervoicesoftandloving."Ifyoudon'tfeelbetterbymorning,we'llseethe
doctor,allright?"

"Idon'twanttoseethedoctor,"Matthewsaidmutinously.

"Doctorsstickneedlesinpeople."

"Notallthetime.Andyouwanttogetbetter,don'tyou?

Papa mentioned that we might go to the zoo again next weekend," she whispered conspiratorially.
"Wouldn'tyoulikethat?"

"Oh,yes,"hesaid."Therearebearsatthezoo."

"Thenwe'llhavetogetyoubetter.Trytogetsomesleep,andmaybeyou'llfeelbetterinthemorning."

"Allright,Mama."

"I'mjustdownthehall,andI'llleaveyourdooropenacrack.Ifyouneedme,call,okay?"Shekissed
his forehead and paused to smile at him before leaving. But she was almost sure it was a stomach
virus.Mrs.Albright'sgrandsonhadcomedownwithitjustafterMatthewhadbeendownstairstovisit
him again two days before. It was just a twenty-four-hour bug, but it could make a little boy pretty
miserableallthesame.

She wiped the frown off her face when she got into the living room. Gabby and J.D. Brettman had
arrivedbynow,andDiegoputasnifterofbrandyintoMelissa'shandanddrewhertohissidewhile
theytalkedaboutChicagoandthebusiness.Hisarmwaspossessive,andshedelightedinthefeelofit,
inthefeelofhim,soclose.

Herloveforhimhadgrownbyleapsandboundsinthepastfewweeks.Shewonderedifshecould
evenexistapartfromhimnow.Minuteslater,EricvanMeerandhiswife,aratherplainbrunettewith
glassesandalovelysmile,joinedthegroup.Melissawassurprised;she'dexpectedDutchtoshowup
withsomebeautifulsocialite.

ButasshegottoknowDanielle,hisinterestinherwasapparent.Daniwasunique.SowasGabby.

"Let'sletthegirlstalkfashionforawhile.I'vegotsomethingIneedtokickoverwithyoutwobefore
we eat," Apollo said suddenly, smiling at the wives and pointedly ignoring Joyce as he moved the
mentotheothersideoftheroom.

"Just like men," Gabby sighed with a wistful glance at her enormous husband's back. "We're only
afterthoughts."

"SomedayI'llstranglehim,"Joycewasmutteringtoherself."SomedayI'llkickhimoutthewindow
suspendedbythetelephonecordandI'llgrinwhileIcutit."

"Now,now."Daniellechuckled."Thatisn'tawholesomementalattitude."

Joyce'seyeswereevenblackerthanusual."Ihatehim!"

shesaidvenomously."That'swholesome."

Gabbygrinned."He'srunningscared,haven'tyounoticed?"shewhisperedtoJoyce."He'sasnervous
asaschoolboy.Youintimidatehim.Hecomesfromshare-croppersdownSouth,andyourparentsare
well-to-do.Inadifferentway,J.D.wasmuchthesamebeforewemarried.Heseemedtohateme,and
nothingIdidsuitedhim.Hefoughttothebitterend.Apolloisevenlessmarriage-mindedthanDutch,
andDanicouldwriteyouabookonreluctanthusbands.Dutchhatedwomen!"

"Hethoughthedid,"Danicorrectedwithalovingglanceatherhandsomehusband."Butperhapsall
theyreallyneedistheincentivetobecomehusbandsandfathers."

Melissanodded."DiegoisverygoodwithMatthew,andIneverevenknewthathelikedchildrenin
theolddaysinGuatemala."

"Itmusthavebeenexciting,growingupinCentralAmerica,"Gabbyremarked.

Melissa's eyes were soft with memories. "It was exciting living next door to Diego Laremos," she
corrected."Hewasmywholeworld."

Gabby'seyesnarrowedasshestudiedtheblondwoman.

"Andyetthetwoofyouwereapartforalongtime."

Melissanodded."Itwasareluctantmarriage.IleftbecauseIthoughthedidn'twantmeanymore,and
nowwe'retryingtopickupthepieces.Itisn'teasy,"sheconfided.

"He's a good man," Gabby said, her green eyes quiet and friendly. "He saved my life in Guatemala
whenJ.D.andIweretheretryingtorescueJ.D.'ssister.Underfirehe'soneofthecoolestcharacters
I'veeverseen.SoareJ.D.

andApollo."

"Isupposeit'sthewaytheyhadtolive,"Joyceremarked.

HereyesslidacrosstheroomtoApollo,andforoneinstant,everythingshefeltforthemanwasin
herexpression.

Apollo chose that moment to let his attention be diverted, and he looked at the West Indian woman.
Theairfairlysizzledwithelectricity,andJoyce'sbreathcaughtaudiblybeforesheloweredhereyes
andclenchedherhandsinherlap.

"Excuseme,ma'am,"Mrs.AlbrightsaidfromthedoorwayintimetosaveJoycefromanyill-timed
com-ments."Butdinnerisserved."

"Thankyou,Mrs.Albright."MelissasmiledandwenttoDiego'sside,amazedathoweasyitwasto
slipherhandintothebendofhiselbowanddrawhimwithher.

"Dinner,darling,"shesaidsoftly.

Hisarmtautenedunderhergentletouch."Inallthetimewehavebeentogether,"heremarkedasthey
wenttowardtheelegantdiningroom,"Icannotrememberhearingyousaythatword."

"Yousayitallthetime,''sheremindedhimwithapertsmile."OrtheSpanishequivalent,atleast,don't
you?"

He shrugged. "It seems to come naturally." He pressed her hand against his sleeve, and the look he
bentonherwasfullofaffection.

Shenuzzledhisshoulderwithherhead,lovingthenewsenseofintimacyshefeltwithhim.

Behindthem,theotherhusbandsandwivesexchangedexpressivesmiles.Bringinguptherear,Joyce
wastouchingApollo'ssleeveasifithadthornsonit,andApollowasasstiffasamanwithapokerup
hisback.

"Relax,willyou?"ApollomutteredatJoyce.

"You'reafineonetotalk,ironman."

He turned and gazed down at her. They searched each other's eyes in a silence gone wild with new
longings,withsharedhunger.

"God,don'tlookatmelikethat,"hebreathedroughly.

"Nothere."

Herlipspartedonashakybreath."Whynot?"

He moved toward her and then abruptly moved away, jerking her along with him into the dining
room.Hewasalmostfrighteninglystern.

It was a nice dinner, but the guests—two of them at least—kept the air sizzling with tension. When
they'd eaten and were enjoying after-dinner coffee from a tray in the living room, the tension got
evenworse.

"You'restandingonmyfoot,"Joycesaidsuddenly,bristlingatApollo.

"Withfeetthatsize,howisthatyoucanevenfeelit?"heshotback.

"That's it. That's it! You big overstuffed facsimile of a Chicago big shot, who do you think you're
talkingto?"

"Asmalloverstuffedchilipepperwithdelusionsofbeauty,"heretorted,hiseyesblazing.

Joycetriedtospeakbutcouldn't.Shegrabbedherpurseand,withaterse,tear-threateninggoodnight
totheothers,ranforthedoor.

"Damn it!" Apollo went after her out the door, slamming it behind him, while the others paused to
exchangeconspiratorialsmilesandthencontinuetheirconversation.

When Apollo eventually came back into the apartment to say good night, he was alone. He looked
drawnandalittleredononecheek,buthisfriendsweretookindtoremarkonit.Heleftwitharather
oblivioussmile,andtheotherssaidtheirgoodnightsshortlythereafterandleft,too.

Thedoorclosed,andMelissaletDiegoleadherbackintothelivingroom,wheretherewasstillhalf
apotofhotcoffee.

"Wecandrinkanothercuptogether,"hesaid,"whileMrs.

Albrightclearsawaythedishes."

Shepouredandwatchedhimaddcreamtohiscoffee,hereyessoftandloving."Itwentwell,don'tyou
think?"

Heliftedaneyebrowandsmiled."ApolloandJoyce,youmean?Iexpecthehasmethismatchthere.
Properlyattired,shehasexcellentcarriageandauniquekindofbeauty."

"Ithoughtso,too."Shelaughed."Ithinkshehithim.Didyounoticehischeek?"

"Iwasalsonoticingtheveryvividlipstickonhismouth,"

he mused with a soft chuckle. He leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "Poor man. He'll be married
beforeheknowsit."

She balanced her cup and saucer on her lap. "Is that how you think of marriage? As something to
causeamantobepitied?"

"Oh,yes,atonetimeIfeltexactlythatway,"headmitted.

Helitacherootandblewoutacloudofsmoke."Ieventoldyouso."

"Iremember."Shesmiledintohercoffeeasshesippedit.

"IwasyoungenoughandnaiveenoughtothinkIcouldmakeyoulikeit."

"Had I given you the chance, perhaps you might have," he said. His dark eyes narrowed. "I cannot
rememberevenonceinmylifethinkingofchildrenandahomewhenIwasescortingawoman,do
youknow?Evenwithyou,itwasyourdelectablebodyIwantedthemost,notanyideaofpermanence.
AndthenIlostmyheadandfoundmyselfboundtoyouinthemostpermanentwayofall.Ihatedyou
andyourfatherforthat"

"AsIfoundout,"shesaidmiserably.

"ItwasonlywhenyoulostthebabythatIcametomysenses,asoddasthatmaysound,"hecontinued,
watching her face. "It was then that I realized how much I had thrown away. I had some idea of my
grandmother's resentment of you when I left you at the casa and took myself away from your
influence.PerhapsIevenhopedthatmyfamily'scoldnesswouldmakeyouleaveme."Hedroppedhis
darkeyestohisshoes."Ihadlivedalonesolong,freetodoasIwanted,totravelasIpleased.Butthe
weeksgrewendlesswithoutyou,andalwaystherewasthememoryofthatafternoonintherainon
ourbedofleaves."Hesighedheavily."IcamehomehopingtodriveyouawaybeforeIcapitulated.
Andthenyoucametome,andbecauseIwassohungryforyou,Itoldyouthatyourepulsedme.AndI
pushedyouaway."Hiseyesclosedbriefly.

Shefeltastirringofcompassionforwhathe'dgonethrough,eventhoughherownpathhadn'tbeen
aneasyone.

"Whenyouleft,howdidyoumanage?"heasked.

"Bysheerforceofwill,atfirst."Shesighed."Ihadtogothroughalotofredtapetogettostayinthe
UnitedStates,andwhenMatthewcamealong,itgotrough.Imadeagoodsalary,butittookalotof
moneytokeephiminclothesandtoprovideforababy-sitter.WithoutMrs.

Grady,Ireallydon'tknowwhatI'dhavedone."

Hischinlifted,andhestudiedherthroughnarrowdarkeyes."Didyouneverwonderaboutme?"

"At first I wondered. I was afraid that you'd try to find me." She twisted her wedding band on her
finger."Then,afterIgotoverthat,Iwonderedifyouwerewithsomeotherwoman,havingagood
timewithoutme."

Hescowled."Youthoughtmeashallowman,nina."

Herthinshoulderslifted,thenfell."Yousaidyourselfthatyoudidn'tlovemeorneedme,thatIwasa
nuisance you'd been saddled with. What else was I to think, Diego? That you were pining away for
loveofme?"

Hetookadrawfromhischerootandquietlyputitoutwithslow,deliberatemovementsofhishand.
"When I began selling my services abroad for a living, it was to help my family out of a financial
bind,"hebegan.

"Becauseyourmotherhadrunawaywithyourfather,takingherdowryfromus,thefamilyfortunes
sufferedandwewereindesperateneed.AfterawhileIbegantoenjoytheexcitementofwhatIdid,
andtherisk.EventuallythereasonIbeganwaslostintheneedforadventureandtheloveoffreedom
anddanger.IsupposeIfedonadrenaline."

"There's something your family never knew about my mother's dowry, Diego," Melissa said. "She
didn'thaveone."

Hescowled."Whatisthis?Myfathersaid—"

"Yourfatherdidn'tknow.Mygrandfatherwasinfinancialstraitshimself.Hewashopingforamerger
betweenhisfruitcompanyandyourfamily'sbananaplantationstohelphimgethisheadabovewater."
Shesmiledironically.

"There was never any dowry. That was one reason she ran away with my father, because she felt
guiltythatherfatherwastryingtouseherinadishonestwaytomakemoney.Myfather'sfatherdied
soonafterward,andmyfatherinheritedhisfortune.That'swhereourmoneycamefrom,notfrommy
mother'sdowry."

"Diosmio"hebreathed,puttinghisfaceinhishands.

"Dios,andmyfamilyblamedyourfatherallthoseyearsforourfinancialproblems."

"He thought it best not to tell you," she said. "The wounds were deep enough, and your father said
some harsh things to him after he and my mother were married. I suppose he rubbed salt in the
wounds,becausemyfatherneverforgavehim."

"You make me ashamed, Melissa," he said finally, lifting his dark head. "I seem to have given you
nothingbutheartache."

"I wasn't blameless," she said. 'The poems and the note I wrote so impulsively were genuine, you
know. All I lacked was the courage to send them to you. I knew even then that a sophisticated man
wouldneverwantanunworldlygirllikeme.Iwasn'tevenpretty,"shesaidwistfully.

"Butyouwereexquisite,"hesaid.Helookedandsoundedastonishedatherdenialofherownbeauty.
"A tea rose in bud, untouched by sophistication and cynicism. I adored you. And once I tasted your
sweetness,amada,Iwasintoxicated."

"Yes,Inoticedthat."Shesighedbitterly.

"I fought against marriage, that is true," he admitted. "I fought against your influence, and to some
extentIwon.

Butevenasyouranfrommybedroomthatlastnightatthecasa,IknewthatIhadlost.Iwasgoing
afteryou,totellyouthatIhadmeantnoneofwhatIsaid.Iwasgoingtoaskyoutotrytomakeour
marriagework,Melissa.

AndIwouldhavetried.AtleastIwasfondofyou,andIwantedyou.Therewasmorethanenoughto
build a marriage on." He didn't add how that feeling had grown over the years until now the very
forceofitalmostwindedhimwhenhelookedather.Hecouldn'ttellhereverythingjustyet.

She searched his dark, unblinking eyes. "I was too young, though," she said. "I would have wanted
things you couldn't have given me. You were my idol, not a flesh-and-blood man. You were larger
thanlife,andhowcanameremortalwomanliveuptosuchaparagon?Oh,no,senor.Ipreferyouas
youarenow.Fleshandbloodandsometimesalittleflawed.Icandealwithamanwhoisashumanas
Iam."

He began to smile, and the warmth of his lips was echoed in his quiet, possessive gaze. "Can you,
enam-orada?"heasked."Thencomehereandshowme."

Herheartskippedwithpuredelight."Onthecouch?"sheasked,hereyebrowsraised."Withthedoor
wideopenandMrs.Albrightinthekitchen?"

Hechuckledsoftly."Youseethewayyouaffectmybrain,Melissa.ItseemstostopworkingwhenI
aminthesameroomwithyou."

"Allfinished,exceptforthecoffeethings,"Mrs.Albrightsaidcheerfullyasshecameintotheroom.

"Leavethecoffeethingsuntiltomorrow,"Diegosaid,smilingather."Youhavedonequiteenough,
and your check this week will reflect our appreciation. Now go home and enjoy your own family.

Buenasnoches!"

"Thankyou,senor,andbuenasnochestoyou,too.

Ma'am."ShenoddedtoMelissa,gothercoatfromtheclosetandletherselfoutoftheapartment.

Diego'seyesdarkenedastheyslidoverMelissawithanexpressioninthemthatcouldhavemeltedice.
"Now,"hesaidsoftly."Comeheretome,littleone."

Shegotup,herheartbeatshakingher,andmovedtowardhim.Diegocaughtheraroundthewaistand
pulledherdownintohislapwithherblondheadinthecrookofhisarmandhisblackeyessearing
downintohers.

"Nomorebarriers,"hebreathedasheloweredhishead,drowningherinhisexpensivecologneand
thefainttobaccoscentofhismouth."Nomoresubterfuge,nomoregames.Wearehusbandandwife,
andnowwebecomeonemind,oneheart,onebody...amada!"

Hismouthmovedhungrilyonhersandsheclungtohimwarmly,delightinginhispossessivehold,in
theneedshecouldsenseaswellasfeel.Hewasgoingtopossessher,butshewasnolongeratwenty-
year-old girl with stars in her eyes. She was a woman, and fully awakened to her own wants and
needs.

Shebithislowerlip,watchingtoseehisexpression.Hechuckledsoftly,arroganceineverylineof
hisdarkface.

"So," he breathed. "You are old enough now for passion, is that what you are telling me with this
provocative caress? Then beware, querida, because in this way my knowledge is far superior to
yours."

Herbreathquickened."Showme,"shewhispered,curlingherfingersintothethickhairatthenapeof
hisneck.

'Teachme."

"Itwillnotbeastenderasitwasthefirsttime,amada"hesaidroughly,andsomethingdarkkindledin
hiseyes."Itwillbeasavageloving."

"Savage is how I feel about you, senor" she whispered, lifting her mouth to tease his. "Savage and
sweetandoh,sohungry!"

He allowed the caress and repeated it against her starving mouth. "Then taste me, querida" he
whisperedasheopenedherlipswithhisandhisarmscontracted."Andletusfeastonpassion."

Shemoaned,becausethepleasurewasfeverish.Hebruisedheragainsthim,andshefelthishandlow
onherhips,gatheringthemagainstthefiercetautnessofhisbody.Shebegantotremble.She'dlived
ondreamsofhimforyears,butnowtherewastheremembereddelightofhismouth,ofhisbody.He
wantedher,andshewantedhimsomuchitwasagonizing.Sheclung,atinycrywhisperingintohis

mouthasshegaveincompletely,lovinghimbeyondbearing.

Herosegracefully,liftinghereasilyashegotup.Heliftedhisheadonlyabreathaway,holdingher
eyesashewalkeddownthehallwithher,hisgazepossessive,explosivelysweet.

"Noquarter,enamorada"hewhisperedhuskily."Thisnight,Iwillshownomercy.Iwillfulfilyouand
youwillcompleteme.IwillloveyouasIneverdreamedoflovingawomaninthedarkness."

She trembled at the emotion in his deep, softly accented voice. "You don't believe in love," she
whisperedshakily.

Hisdarkeyesheldherwidegrayones."DoInot,Melissa?WaitandseewhatIfeel.Bymorningyou
mayhavelearnedagreatdealmoreaboutmethanyouthinkyouknow."

Sheburiedherfaceinhisthroatandpressedcloser,shudderingwiththeneedtogivehimherheart
alongwithherbody.

"Querida..."hebreathed.Hisarmstightenedbruisingly.

At the same time, a childish voice cried out in the darkness, and that sound was followed by the
unmistakablesoundofsomeone'sdinnermakingareturnappearance.

CHAPTERTEN

MATTHEW WAS SICK TWICE. Melissa mopped up after him with the ease of long practice and
changedhisclothesandhissheetsafterbathinghimgentlywithsoapandwarmwater.

Hecried,hisyoungprideshatteredbyhislossofcontrol.

"I'msorry,"hewailed.

"Forwhat,baby?"shesaidgently,kissinghisforehead.

"Darling,weallgetsickfromtimetotime.Mrs.

Albright'sgrandsonhadthisvirus,andI'msurethat'swhereyoucaughtit,butyou'llbemuchbetterin
the morning. I'm going to get you some cracked ice so that you don't get dehydrated, and perhaps
PapawillsitwithyouuntilIgetback."

"Ofcourse,"Diegosaid,catchingMelissa'shandtokissitgentlyasshewentpasthim."Makeapotof
coffeeforus,amada"

"Youdon'tneedtositup,too,"shesaid."Icandoit."

Hisdarkeyessearchedhers."Thisiswhatbeingafatherisallabout,isitnot?Sharingthebadtimes
aswellasthegood?WhatkindofmanwouldIbetogomerrilytomybedandleaveyoutocarefora
sicklittleboy?"

She could barely breathe. He was incredible. She touched his mouth with her forefinger. "I adore
you,"shebreathed,andleftbeforeshegavewaytotears.

When she came back, with the coffee dripping and its delicious aroma filling the kitchen, she was
armedwithacupofcrackediceandaspoon.DiegowastalkingtoMatthewinalowvoice.Itwasonly
whenMelissawasintheroomthatsherecognizedthestoryhewastellingtheboy.Itwas"Beautyand
theBeast,"oneofherownfavorites.

"Andtheylivedhappilyeverafter?"Matthewasked,lookingpalebuttemporarilykeepingeverything
down.

"Happinessisnotanautomaticthingintherealworld,mihijo,"DiegosaidasMelissaperchedonthe
side of the bed and spooned a tiny bit of cracked ice into Matthew's mouth. "It is rather a matter of
compromise,communicationandtolerance.Isthisnotso,SenoraLaremos?"

She smiled at him. He was lounging in the chair beside the bed with his shirt unbuttoned and his
sleeves rolled up, looking very Latin and deliciously masculine with the shirt and slacks outlining
everypowerfulmuscleinhisbody.

"Yes.Itisso,"sheagreedabsently,buthereyesweresayingotherthings.

Hechuckleddeeply,andthemessageinhisowneyeswasmorethanphysical.

ShegaveMatthewtheiceandtookheartwhenitstayedinhisstomach.Inalittlewhilehedozedoff,
andMelissapushedthedisheveleddarkhairawayfromhisforeheadandadoredhimwithhereyes.

"A fine young man," Diego said softly. "He has character, even at so early an age. You have done
well."

Sheglancedathimwithasmile."HewasallIhadof—"

Shebithertongue,becauseshehadalmostsaid"ofyou."

Butheknew.Hesmiled,hiseyeslazilycaressingher."Ihavewaitedalongtimeforyoutotellme.Do
younotthinkthatthisisthepropertime,querida?Onanightwhenwemeanttoloveeachotherinthe
privacyofmybedroomandremoveallthebarriersthatseparateus?

Here,wherethefruitofourneedforeachothersleepssopeacefullyinthesecurityofourlovefor
him?"

Shedrewinasteadyingbreath."Didyouknowallthetime?"sheasked.

"No," he said honestly, and smiled. "I was insanely jealous of Matt's mythical father. It made me
unkindtohimatfirst,andtoyou.ButasIgrewtoknowhim,andyou,Ibegantohavemysuspicions.
ThatwaswhyIsentforhisbirthcertificate."

"Yes,Isawitaccidentallyinyourdesk,"sheconfessed,andnotedthesurpriseinhisface.

"ButbeforeIsawit,"hecontinuedsoftly,"Matthewdescribedtomeaphotographofhisfatherthat
you had shown him." He smiled at her flush. "Yes, nina. The same photograph I had seen in your
drawerunderyourgowns,andnevertoldyou.Somanykeepsakes.TheygavemetheonlyhopeIhad
thatyoustillhadalittleaffectionforme."

Shelaughed."Iwasafraidyou'dseenthem."Sheshookherhead."Icaredsomuch.AndIwasafraid,
I'vealwaysbeenafraid,thatyoumightwantMattmorethanyouwantedme."Sheloweredhereyes.
"You said that love wasn't a word you knew. But Matt was your son," she whispered, admitting it at
last,"andyou'dhavewantedhim."

"Him,andnotyou?"heaskedsoftly.Heleanedforward,watchingher."Melissa,Ihavenotbeenkind
toyou.Wemarriedfortheworstofreasons,andevenwhenIfoundyouagainIwasstillfightingfor
myfreedom.Butnow..."

He smiled tenderly. "Amada, I awaken each morning with the thought that I will see you over the
breakfasttable.AtnightIsleepsoundly,knowingthatyouareonlyafewyardsawayfromme.My
daybeginsandendswithyou.

Andinthesepastweeks,youhavecometomeanagreatdealtome.Icareverymuchformyson.But
Melissa,youmeanmoretomethananythingonearth.EvenmorethanMatthew."

Shegnawedherlowerlipwhiletearsthreatened.Shetookaslow,shudderingbreath."Iwantedtotell
youbeforeIleftGuatemalathatIhadn'tlostthebaby.ButIcouldn'tlethimbebornandraisedinsuch
anatmosphereofhatred."Shelookeddownatthecarpet."HewasallIhadleftofyou,andIwanted
himdesperately.SoIcametoAmerica,gavebirthtohimandraisedhim."Hereyesfoundhis."But
therewasneveraday,oranight,oronesinglesecond,whenyouweren'tinmythoughtsandinmy
heart.Ineverstoppedlovingyou.Ineverwill."

"Amada"hebreathed.

"Matthewisyourson,"shesaidsimply,smilingthroughtears."I'msorryIdidn'ttrustyouenoughto
tellyou."

"I'msorryImadeitsodifficult."Heleanedforwardandtookherhandinhis,kissingthepalmsoftly,
hungrily.

"Wemadeabeautifulchildtogether,"hesaid,liftinghisdarkeyestohers."Hecombinesthebestof
bothofus."

"AndwecanlookintohisfaceandseegenerationsofSterlingsandLaremosesstaringbackatus,"
sheagreed.

Hersofteyesheldhis."Oh,Diego,whatawastethepastyearshavebeen!"

He stood up, drawing her into his arms. He held her and rocked her, his voice soft at her ear,
whispering en-dearments in Spanish while she cried away the bitterness and the loneliness and the
pain.

"Now,atlast,wecanbeginagain,"hesaid."Wecanhavealifetogether,afuturetogether."

"Ineverdreameditwouldhappen."Shewipedathereyes."Ialmostranawayagain.ButthenJoyce
remindedmethatI'ddonethatbeforeandsolvednothing.SoIstayedtofightforyou."

Helaugheddelightedly."Soyoudid,inwaysIneverexpected.IhadmarriedachildinGuatemala.I
hardlyexpectedthewomanIfoundinTucson."

"I couldn't believe it when I saw you there," she said. "I'd dreamed of you so much, wanted you so
badly,andthenthereyouwere.ButIthoughtyouhatedme,soIdidn'tdareletyouseehowIfelt.And
therewasMatt."

"Whydidyounottellmethetruthatthebeginning?"heaskedquietly.

"Because I couldn't be sure that you wouldn't take him away from me." She sighed. "And because I
wantedyoutotrustme,torealizeallbyyourselfthatI'dlovedyoufartoomuchtobetrayyouwith
anotherman."

"Tomyshame,Ibelievedthatatfirst,"heconfessed.

"AndblamedmyselfforbeingsocrueltoyouthatImadeyouhatemeenoughtorunaway."

"Ineverhatedyou,"shesaid,lovinghisfacewithhereyes."Inevercould.Iunderstood,eventhen.
Anditwasmyownfault.Thenote,thepoems,andIgaveinwithoutevenafight..."

"Thefaultwasmineaswell,forlettingmydesireforyououtweighmyresponsibilitytoprotectyou."
He sighed heavily. "So much tragedy, my own, because we abandoned ourselves to pleasure. At the
time,consequenceswerethelastthoughtwehad,no?"

"Our particular consequence, though, is adorable, don't you think, esposo mio?" she smiled at their
sleepingson.

Hefollowedherglance."Muyadorable"Hiseyescaressedher."Likehisoh-so-beautifulmadrecita"

Touched by the tenderness in his deep voice, she reached up and kissed him, savoring the warm
hunger of his embrace. Matthew stirred, and she sat back down beside him, watching his eyes open
sleepily.

"Feelingbetter?"sheaskedgently.

"I'mhungry,"hegroaned.

"Nothing else to eat just yet, young man," she said, smiling. "You have to make sure your tummy's
settled.

Buthowaboutsomemorecrackedice?"

"Yes,please,"hemumbled.

Diego got up and took the cup and the spoon from her. "I could use some coffee, querida" he
suggested.

"SocouldI.I'llgetit."

ShelefthimthereafterwatchingthetenderwayhefedicetoMatthew,thewonderoffatherhoodand
theprideofitwrittenalloverhisdarkface.Melissahadneverfeltsohappyinallherlife.Assheleft
theroomsheheardhisvoice,softlyaccented,exquisitelyloving,tellingthelittleboyatlastthathe
washisrealpapa.Tearswelledupinhereyesassheleftthem,andshesmiledsecretlythroughthem,
burstingwithjoy.

Itwasalongnight,butthetwoofthemstayedwiththelittleboy.Melissacurleduponthefootofhis
bedfinallytocatchacatnap,andDiegosleptsprawledinthechair.

Mrs.Albrightfoundthemlikethatthenextmorningandsmiledfromthedoorway.ButMatthewwas
nowhereinsight.

Frowning,shewenttowardthekitchen,wheretherewasastrangesmell...

"Matthew!"shegaspedatthedoorway.

"I'mhungry,"Matthewmuttered,"andmamaandpapawon'twakeup."

He was standing in his pajamas at the stove, barefoot, cooking himself two eggs. Unfortunately, he
hadtheheatonhighandseveralpiecesofeggshellinthepan,andtheresultwasasmellyblackmess.

Mrs. Albright got it all cleared away and picked him up to carry him back to bed. "I'll get your
breakfast,mylamb.

Whywereyouhungry?"

"Mysuppercamebackupagain,"heexplained.

Mrs.Albrightnoddedwisely."Stomachbug."

"A very bad bug," he agreed. "Papa is my real papa, you know, he said so, and we're going to live
withhimforever.CanIhavesomeeggs?"

"Yes,lamb,injustaminute,"shepromisedwithalaughastheywentintothebedroom.

"Matthew?" Melissa mumbled as she looked up and saw Mrs. Albright bringing Matthew into the
room.

DiegoblinkedandyawnedasMrs.Albrightputtheboybackinbed."Wheredidyoufindhim?"he
asked,hisfaceunshavenandhiseyesbleary.

"In the kitchen cooking his breakfast," Mrs. Albright chuckled, registering their openly horrified
expressions.

"It's all right now. I've taken care of everything. I'll get him some scrambled eggs and toast if you
thinkit'ssafe.

I'dbetthatitis,ifmyopinioniswanted.Helooksfittome."

"Youshouldhaveseenhimlastnight,"Melissasaidwithadrowsysmile."Butifhethinkshe'shungry,
hecanhavesomeeggs."

"Youtwogoandgetsomesleep,"Mrs.Albrightsaidfirmly."Matthew'sfine,andI'lllookoutforhim.
I'llevencalltheofficeforyou,senor,ifyoulike,andtellthemwhereyouare."

"That would be most kind of you." He yawned, taking Melissa by the hand. "Come along, Senora
Laremos,whileIcanstanduplongenoughtoguideustobed."

"Buenasnoches!"Matthewgrinned.

"Buenosdias!"Melissacorrectedwithalaugh."Andeatonlyalittlebreakfast,okay?"Shethrewhim
akiss.

"Goodnight,babychick."

ShefollowedDiegointohisbedroomandgotintothebedwhilehelockedthedoor.Shehardlyfelt
himremovingherdressandhoseandshoesandslip.Secondslater,shewasasleep.

SUNSHINE STREAMED LAZILY through the windows when she stretched under the covers,
frowningasshediscoveredthatshedidn'thaveastitchofclothingonherbody.

Diegocameintothebedroomfromthebathroomwithatowelaroundhisleanhipsandhishairstill
damp.

"Awake at last," he murmured dryly. He reached down and jerked the covers off, his dark eyes
appreciativeofeverysoft,pinkinchofherbodyashelookedatheropenlyforthefirsttimeinfive
years. The impact of it was in his eyes, his face. "Dios mio, what a beautiful sight," he breathed,
smilingathershyblush.

Ashespoke,heunfastenedhistowelandthrewitcarelesslyonthefloor."Now,"hebreathed,easing
downbesideher."Thisiswherewemeanttobeginlastnight,is

itnot,querida?"

Sheknewitwasincredibletobeshywithhim,butithadbeenfiveyears.Sheloweredhereyestohis
mouth and looped her arms around his neck and shifted to ac-commodate the warm weight of his
muscularbody.Sheshivered,savoringtheabrasivepleasureofhischesthairagainsthersoftbreasts,
thehardnessofhislonglegstanglingintimatelywithhers.

Tremors of pleasure wound through her. "Sweet," she whispered shakily, drawing him closer. Her
mouthnippedathis,pleaded,dancedwithit."It'ssosweet,feelingyoulikethis."

"Anadequatewordforsomethingsowondrous,"hewhispered,smilingagainsthereagermouth.He
touched her, watching her eyes dilate and her body stiffen. "There, querida?" he asked sensuously.
"Softly,likethis?"Hediditagain,andsheshuddereddeliciouslyandarched.Asensualbanquet,after
yearsofstarvation.

"You...beast," she chided. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she watched the face above hers grow
darkwithpassion,hiseyesglitteringashebenttoherbody.

"Afeastfitforastarvingman,"hewhisperedashislipstracedhersoftcurves,lingeringtoteaseand
nipatthefirmthrustofherbreasts,atherribcage,herflatbelly.

And all the while he talked to her, described what he felt and what he was doing and what he was
goingtodo.

Shemovedundertheexplorationofhishands,hereyesgrowingdarkerandwilderashekindledthe
flamesofpassion.Onceshelookeddirectlyintohiseyesashemoveddown,andshesawthenaked
hungerinthemashisbodypenetratedhersforthefirsttimeinmorethanfiveyears.

Shecried,akeening,husky,breathlesslittlesoundthatwasechoedinherwideeyesandthestiffening
of her welcoming body. She cried in passion and in pain, because at first there was the least
discomfort.

"Ah,ithasbeenalongtime,hasitnot?"hewhisperedsoftly,delightinginthepleasurehereadinher
face.

"Relax,myown."Hisbodystilled,givingherstimetoadjusttohim,toadmithimwithoutdiscomfort.
"Relax.

Yes,querida,yes,yes..."Hiseyesclosedashefeltthesuddeneaseofhispassage,andhisteethground
togetheratanunexpectedcrestoffiercepleasure.Heshuddered.

"Exquisite,"hegroaned,openinghiseyestolookatherashemovedagain,hisweightrestingonhis
forearms.

"Exquisite, this...with you...this sharing." His eyes closed helplessly as his movements became
suddenlyharshandsharp."Forgiveme...!"

Butshewaswithhimeverystepoftheway,herfityoungbodymatchinghispassion,equalingit.She
adjustedherbodytotheneedsofhis,andheldhimandwatchedhimandgloriedinhisfulfillmentjust
beforeshefoundherownandcriedoutagainsthisshoulderinanguishedcompletion.

Heshudderedoverher,histautbodyrelaxingslowly,damp,hisarmsfaintlytremulous.Shebithis
shoulderandlaughedbreathlessly,feelingforthefirsttimelikeawholewoman,likeawife.

"Nowtrytobeunfaithfultome,"shedaredhim,whisperingthechallengeintohisear."Justtryand
I'llwearyoudownuntilyoucanhardlycrawlawayfrommybed!"

He nipped her shoulder, laughing softly. "As if I could have touched another woman after you," he
whispered.

"Querida, I took my marriage vows as seriously as you took yours. Guilt and anguish over losing
youmadeitimpossibleformetosleepwithanyoneelse."Heliftedhisdampheadandsearchedher
drowsy,shockedeyes.

"Amada,Iloveyou,"hesaidsoftly.Hebrushedhermouthwithhis."Idonotwantanyoneelse.Not
sincethatfirsttimewithyou,whenIknewthatyoursoulhadjoinedwithminesocompletelythatpart
ofmediedwhenyouleft."

Shehidherfaceagainsthim,weepingwithjoyandpainandpleasure."I'msorry."

"ItisIwhoamsorry.Butourpainisbehindus,andnowourpleasurebegins.Thisisonlythestart,
thissweetsharingofourbodies.Wewillshareourlives,Melissa.

Oursorrowandourjoy.Laughterandtears.Forthisiswhatmakesamarriage."

Shereachedupandkissedhisdarkcheek."Iloveyousomuch."

"AsIloveyou."Hetwinedastrandofherlongblondhairaroundhisforefinger.Hiseyessearched
hers. He bent, and his mouth opened hers. Seconds later she pulled him down to her again, and he
groanedastheflareofpassionburnedbrightlyagain,sendingthemdownintoafieryoblivionthat
surpassedeventhelastone.

Mrs.Albrightwasputtingsupperonthetablewhentheyreappeared,freshlyshoweredandrestedand
sharingglancesthatheldanewdepthofbelonging.

Matthew was still in his room. They ate supper alone and then went to see him, delighting in the
strengthoftheirattachmenttoeachother,delightingintheirson.

"TomorrowIwillbringyouasurprisewhenIcomehomefromwork.Whatwouldyoulike?"Diego
askedhisson.

"Onlyyou,Papa,"thelittleboylaughed,reachinguptobeheldandhuggedfiercely.

"Inthatcase,Ishallbringyouabattleship,completewithcrew,"hisPapachuckledwithadelighted
glancetowardMelissa,whosmiledandleanedagainsthimadoringly.

DiegowenttoworkreluctantlythenextmorningtofindApollolikeacatwithabadlegandJoyceas
coldasifshe'dspenttwodaysinarefrigerator.

"How'sMatthew?"ApolloaskedwhenDiegoenteredtheoffice.

"He'smuchbetter,thanks,buthismamaandIarestilltryingtocatchuponoursleep,"Diegolaughed,
andtoldhimaboutMatthew'sattempttomakebreakfast.

Joycelaughed."Ihopeyourfireinsuranceispaidup."

Apollostaredatherwithunconcealedhunger."Don'tyouhavesomethingtodo?"heaskedcurtly.

"Ofcourse,butIhavetoworkforyouinstead,"shesaidwithasweetsmile.Shewaswearinganother
oneofthenewoutfits,andshelookedveryprettyinared-and-orangeprintthatshowedoffherfigure
toitsbestadvantage.Apollocouldhardlykeephiseyesoffher,whichmadeforalongandconfusing
workday.

WhenDiegowenthomethatafternoon,Apollowasattheendofhisrope.HeglaredatJoyceandshe
glaredbackuntiltheybothhadtolookawayordiefromtheelectricityintheirjoinedgaze.

"Youlooknice,"hesaidirritably.

"Thankyou,"shesaidwithequalcurtness.

Hedrewinanangrybreath."Oh,hell,wecan'tgoonlikethis,"hemuttered,goingaroundthedesk
afterher.Hecaughtherbythearmsandpulledheragainsthim,hismindregisteringthatshebarely
cameuptohisshoulderandthatshemadehimfeelviolentlymasculine."Look,it'simpossibletotreat

each other this way after what happened at the Laremoses two nights ago. I'm going crazy. Just
lookingatyoumakesmybodyache."

Shedrewinasteadyingbreath,becausehewasaffectingher,too."Whatdoyouwanttodoaboutit?"
sheasked,certainthathewasthinkingalongseriouslinesandwonderinghowshewasgoingtobear
itifhewasn't.

Hetiltedhermouthuptohisandkissedher,longandhardandhungrily.Shemoaned,steppingcloser,
pushingagainsthim.Hisarmsswallowedherandhegroaned.

"Iwon'thurtyou,"hepromisedhuskily,hisblackeyesholdinghers."IsweartoGod,Iwon't.I'lltake
alongtime..."

Shecouldbarelymakehermindwork."What?"

"I'llgetyouabetterapartment,inthesamebuildingasmine,"hewenton."We'llspendalmostevery
nighttogether,andifthingsworkout,maybeyoucanmoveinwithmeeventually."

Sheblinked."You...wantmetobeyourmistress?"

Hescowled."What'sthismistressbusiness?ThisisAmerica.Peoplelivetogetherallthetime—"

"Icomefromagoodhomeandwedon'tlivetogether,"

shesaidproudly."Wegetmarriedandhavebabiesandbehavelikeafamily!Mymotherwouldshoot
youstone-colddeadifshethoughtyouweretryingtoseduceme!"

"Whoisyourmama,theLoneRanger?"hechided.

"Listen,honey,IcanhaveanywomanIwant.Idon'thavetogohungryjustbecausemylittlevirgin
secretaryhastoomanyhang-upsto—oof!"

Joycesurveyedherhandiworkdetachedly,registeringtheextremelyoddlookonApollo'sfaceashe
bentoverthestomachshe'dputherkneeinto.Hewasaninterestingshadeofpurple,anditservedhim
right.

"Iquit,bytheway,"Joycesaidwithasmilehecouldn'tsee.Sheturned,cleanedoutherdeskdrawer
efficiently and picked up her purse. There wasn't much to get together. She felt a twinge of regret
becauseshelovedthestupidman.Butperhapsthiswasbest,becauseshewasn'tgoingtobeanyman's
keptwoman,modernsocialfadornot.

"Goodbye, boss," she said as she headed for the door. "I hope you have better luck with your next
secretary."

"Shecan't...beworse...thanyou!"hebitoff,stilldoubledover.

"Yousweetman,"shesaidpleasantlyasshepausedinthedoorway."It'sbeenajoyworkingforyou.I
dohopeyou'llgivemeagoodreference."

"Iwouldn'treferyoutohell!"

"Good, because I don't want to go anyplace where I'd be likely to run into you!" She slammed the
doorandwalkedaway.Bythetimeshewasintheelevatorgoingdown,thenumbnesshadwornoff
andsherealizedthatshe'dburnedherbridges.Thereweretearswellingupinhereyesbeforeshegot
outofthebuilding.

ShewoundupatMelissa'sapartment,cryingingreatgulps.Diegotookonelookatherandpoured
heradrink,thenleftthewomenaloneinthelivingroomandwentofftoplaythememorygamewith
hisson.

"Tellmeallaboutit,"MelissasaidgentlywhenJoycemanagedtostopcrying.

"Hewantsmetobehismistress,"shewailed,andburiedherfaceinthetissueMelissahadgivenher.

"Oh,youpoorthing."Melissacurledherfeetunderheronthesofa."Whatdidyoutellhim,asifI
didn'tknow?"

"Itwasn'tsomuchwhatItoldhimaswhatIdid,"Joyceconfessed.Shegrinnedsheepishly."Ikicked
himinthestomach."

"Oops."

"Well,hedeservedit.Braggingabouthowmanywomenhecouldgetifhewantedthem,laughingat
meforbeingchaste."Joyceliftedherchinpugnaciously."Mymotherwoulddieifsheheardhimsay
suchathing.Shehasaveryreligiousbackground,andIwasraisedstrictlyandinthechurch."

"So was I, so don't apologize," Melissa said softly. "Let me tell you, I learned the hard way that it's
besttosaveintimacyformarriage.I'madinosaur,Isuppose.WhereIgrewup,thefamilyhaditsown
specialplace.Nomemberofthefamilyeverdidanythingtobesmirchthefamilyname.Nowhonoris
justaword,butatwhatcost?"

"Youreallyareadinosaur,"Joycesighed.

"Purelyprehistoric,"Melissaagreed."Whatareyougoingtodo,myfriend?"

"What most dinosaurs do, I guess. I'm going to become extinct, at least as far as Apollo Blain is
concerned.IresignedbeforeIleft."Hereyesmistedagain."I'llneverseehimagain."

"Iwouldn'tbetonit.Stayforsupperandthenwe'llseewhatwecandoabouthelpingyougetanother
job."

"You'reverykind,"Joycesaid,"butIthinkitmightbebestifIgobacktoMiami.Orevenhometomy
mother."

She shrugged. "I don't think I'll be able to fit into this sophisticated world. I might as well go back
whereIbelong."

"I'llhavenoonetotalktoorshopwith,"Melissamoaned.

"Youcan't!Listen,we'lldigaBurmesetigertrapoutsideApollo'sofficedoor..."

"You'reanicefriend,"Joycesaid,smiling."Butitreallywon'tdo.We'llhavetothinkofsomethinghe
can'tgnawthrough."

"Let'shavesupper.Thenwe'lltalk."

Joyceshookherhead."Ican'teat.Iwanttogohomeandhaveagoodcryandcallmymother.I'lltalk
toyoutomorrow,allright?Meanwhile,thankyouforbeingmyfriend."

'Thankyouforbeingmine.Ifyougettoodepressed,callme.Okay?"

Joycegotup,smiling."Okay."

Melissawalkedhertothedoorandletherout.Thensheleanedbackagainstit,sighing.

Diegocameintothehallwithhiseyebrowsraised.

"Trouble?"

"Shequit.Aftershekickedyourbossinthestomach,"sheexplained."Ithinkhe'sprobablygoingto
beinaverybadmoodfortherestoftheweek,althoughI'monlyguessing,"sheadded,grinning.

Hemovedtowardher,proppinghisarmsateithersideofherhead.Hesmiled."Thingsareheating
up,"heremarked.

"And not only for Joyce and Apollo," she whispered, tempting him until he bent to her mouth and
kissedhersoftly.

ShenibbledhislowerUp,smiling."Comehere,"shebreathed,reachingaroundhiswaisttodrawhis
weightdownonhers.

Heobligedher,andshecouldtellbyhisbreathingaswellasbythetautnessofhisbodyandhisfierce
heartbeatthathefeltasgreataneedforherasshefeltforhim.Sheopenedhermouthtothefierce
pressureofhis.

"Papa!"

Diegoliftedhisheadreluctantly."Inamoment,mihijo,"

hecalledback."YourmotherandIarediscussingplans,"

hemurmured,brushinganotherkissagainstMelissa'seagermouth.

"Whatkindofplans,Papa,foratriptothezoo?"Matthewpersisted.

"Notexactly.Iwillbebackinamoment,allright?*'

Therewasalongsigh."Allright."

DiegoshiftedhishipsandsmiledatMelissa'shelplessresponse."Ithinkanearlynightisinorder,"he
breathed.

"Tomakeupforourlackofsleeplastnight,"headded.

"Icouldn'tpossiblyagreemore,"shemurmuredashismouthcamedownagain.Itgrewharderand
moreinsistentbythesecond,butthesoundofMrs.Albright'svoicecallingthemintothediningroom
brokethespell.

"IlongforthatancientMayanruinwherewefirstkneweachother,"Diegowhisperedashestoodup
andlethergo.

"With armed guerrillas hunting us, spiders crawling around, snakes slithering by, and lightning
strikingallaround,"sherecalled.Sheshookherhead."I'lltakeChicagoanyday,Diego!"

Hechuckled."IcanhardlyarguewiththatLetuseat,thenwewilldiscussthistriptothezoothatour
sonseemsdeterminedtomake."

Therewasanewtemporarysecretaryatworkfortherestoftheweek,butApollodidn'tgivehera
hardtime.Infact,helookedhaggardandwearyandmiserable.

"Perhapsyouneedavacation,amigo,"Diegosaid.

"Itwouldn'thurt,"Dutchnodded,proppedgracefullyagainstApollo'sdeskwithalightedcigarettein
oneleanhand.

Apollogloweredatthem."WherewouldIgo?"

Diegostudiedhisfingernails."YoucouldgotoFerrisStreet,"heremarked."Iunderstandtheweather
thereisquitenice."

FerrisStreetwaswhereJoyce'sapartmentwas,andApollogloweredfuriouslyattheolderman.

"You could park your car there and just relax," Dutch seconded, pursing his lips. His blond hair
lookedalmostsilverinthelight."Youcouldreadabookortakealongoneofthoselittletelevision
setsandwatchsoapoperaswithnobodytobotheryou."

"FerrisStreetistheendoftheworld,"Apollosaid."Youdon'ttakeavacationsittinginyourdamned
caronasidestreetinChicago!What'sthematterwithyoupeople?"

"Youcouldenticewomentositinyourcarwithyou,"

Dutch said. "Ferris Street could be romantic with the right companion. You were a counterterrorist.
Youknowhowtoappropriatepeople."

"Thisistrue,"Diegoagreed."Heappropriatedusforseveralmissions,attimeswhenwepreferred
nottogo."

"Righton,"Dutchsaid.HestudiedApollocuriously."Iwaslikeyouonce.Ihatedwomenwithahell
oflotmorereasonthanyou'vegot.ButintheendIdiscoveredthatlivingwithawomanisahellofa
lotmoreinterestingthanbeingshotat."

"Iaskedhertolivewithme,foryourinformation,Mr.

SocialAdviser,"Apollomuttered."Shekickedmeinthegut!"

"Whataboutmarriage?"Dutchpersisted.

"Idon'twanttogetmarried,"Apollosaid.

"Thenitisaswellthatsheresigned,"Diegosaideasily.

"Shecanfindanothermantomarryandgiveherchildren—"

"Shutup,damnyou!"Apollolookedshaken.Hewipedthesweatoffhisforehead."Oh,God,I'vegot
togetoutofhere.Youguyshavethingstodo,don'tyou?I'mgoingforawalk!"

Hestartedoutthedoor.

"YoumightwalkalongFerrisStreet,"Dutchcalledafterhim."Ihearflowersarebloomingallover
theplace."

"Youmightevenseeafamiliarface,"Diegoaddedwithagrin.

Apollothrewthemafiercelyangrygestureandslammedthedoorbehindhim.

DutchgotoffthedeskandmovedtowardthedoorwithDiego."He'llcomearound,"theblondman
mused."Idid."

"Weallcometoit,"Diegosaid.Hesmiledattheyoungerman."BringDanitosupperSaturday.And
bringthechildren.Matthewwouldenjoyplayingwithyoureldest."

Dutcheyedhim."Everything'sokaynow,Igather?"

Diegosighed."Myfriend,ifhappinesscameingrainsofsand,Iwouldbelivingonavastdesert.I
havetheworld."

"IfiguredMatthewwasyours,"Dutchsaidunexpectedly.

"Melissadidn'tstrikemeasthephilanderingkind."

"Asintheolddays,youseedeeply,"Diegoreplied.Hesmiledathisfriend."AndyourDani,sheis
contenttostaywiththechildreninsteadofworking?"

"Untilthey'reinschool,yes.Afterthat,Ikeephearingtheseplansforareallyuniqueusedbookstore."
Dutch grinned. "Whatever she wants. I come first, you know. I always have and I always will. It's
enoughtomakeamandownrightflexible."

Diegothoughtaboutthatallthewayhome.Yes,itdid.SoifMelissawantedtoworkwhenMatthew
startedschool,whynot?Hetoldhersothatnightasshelaycontentedlyinhisarmswatchingthecity
lightsplayontheceilingofthedarkenedroom.Shesmiledandrolledoverandkissedhim.Andvery
soonafterward,hewasgladhe'dmadetheremark.

CHAPTERELEVEN

THEREWEREBELLSRINGING.Melissaputherheadunderthepillow,butstilltheykepton.She
groaned,reachingouttowardthetelephoneandfumbleditunderthepillowandagainstherear.

"Hello?"shemumbled.

"Melissa?IsDiegoawake?"Apolloasked.

She murmured something and put the receiver against Diego's ear. It fell off and she put it back,
shakinghisbrownshouldertomakehimawareofit.

"Hello,"hesaiddrowsily."Whoisit?"

Therewasapause.Allatoncehesatstraightupinbed,knockingoffthepillowandstrippingbackthe
covers.

"Youwhat?"

Melissaliftedherhead,becausethenoteinDiego'svoicesoundedurgentandshocked."Whatisit?"
shewhispered.

"Youwhat?"Diegorepeated.HelaunchedintoawildmixtureofSpanishandlaughter,thenreverted
toEnglish.

"Iwouldn'thavebelievedit.When?"

"Whatisit?"Melissademanded,punchingDiego.

He put his hand over the receiver. "Apollo and Joyce are being married two days from now. They
wantustostandupwiththem."

Melissalaugheddelightedlyandclappedherhands.

"We'llallcome,"shesaid."There'llbephotographersandwe'llbringthepress!"

"Yes,we'llbedelighted,"DiegowastellingApollo.

"MelissasendsherlovetoJoyce.We'llseeyouthere.

Yes.Congratulations!Hastaluego!"

"Married!"Melissasighed,sendinganamused,joyfulglanceatherhusband."Andhesworehenever
would."

"Heshouldn'thave,"Diegogrinned.Hepickedupthephoneagainanddialed."IhavetotellDutch,"
heexplained."I'lltellyoulaterabouthowwesuggestedApolloshouldtakehisvacationinhiscaron

FerrisStreet."

Melissagiggled,becauseshehadaprettygoodideawhatkindofvacationthey'dhadinmind....

TwoDAYSLATER,asmilingjusticeofthepeacemarriedApolloandJoyceinasimplebutbeautiful
ceremony while Melissa, Diego, the Brettmans and the van Meers, Gabby's mother and First Shirt,
SemsonandDragoallstoodwatching.Itwasthefirsttimetheentiregrouphadbeentogetherinthree
years.

Apollo,inadarkbusinesssuit,andJoyce,inawhitelinensuit,claspedhandsandrepeatedtheirvows
with exquisite joy on their faces. They smiled at each other with wonder and a kind of shyness that
touchedMelissa'sheart.

Clingingtoherhusband'shand,shefeltasifallofthemsharedinthatmarriageceremony.Itwaslike
arededicationofwhattheyallfeltfortheirspouses,arenewalofhopeforthefuture.

Afterward,allofthemgatheredatalocalrestaurantforthereception,andApollonoticedforthefirst
timethenumberofphotographerswhowereenjoyinghorsd'oeuvresandcoffeeandsoftdrinks.

Hefrowned."Idon'tmeantosoundcurious,"hemurmuredtoDiegoandDutch,"buttheresurearea
lotofcamerashere."

"Evidence,"Dutchsaid.

"In case you got cold feet," Diego explained, "we were going to blackmail you by sending
photographstoallthenewsmediashowingthatyourcouragehaddesertedyouatthealtar."

"Youguys,"Apollomuttered.

Joyceleanedagainsthisshoulderandreacheduptokisshisleancheekwarmly."Ihelpedpayforthe
photographers,"sheconfessed."Well,Ihadtohaveanaceinthehole,youknow."

Hejustsmiled,toomuchinloveandtoohappytoargue.

Melissa and Diego left early, holding hands as they wished the happy couple the best, promised to
havethemoverfordinnerafterthehoneymoonandsaidgoodbyetotherestofthegang.

Melissasighed."Itwasanicewedding."

"Asniceasourown?"heasked.

"Ourswasabeautifulaffair,butitlackedheart,"sheremindedhim."Itwasareluctantmarriage."

"Suppose we do it again?" he asked, studying her soft face. "Suppose we have a priest marry us all
overagain,sothatwecanrepeatourvowsandmeanthemthistime?"

"My husband," she said softly, "each day with you is a rededication of our marriage and a
reaffirmation of what we feel for each other. The words are meaningless without the day-to-day

provingofthem.Andwehavethat."

Hisdarkeyessmiledather."Yes,querida"heagreedquietly."Wehavethatinabundance."

Sheclungtohishand."Diego,Ihadaletteryesterday.Ididn'tshowittoyou,butIthinkyouexpected
itallthesame."

Hefrowned."Whowasitfrom?"

"Fromyourgrandmother.Therewasanotefromyoursisterenclosedwithit."

Hesighed."Ahappymessage,Ihope?"heasked.Hewasn'tcertainthathisfamilyhadrelented,even
thoughthey'dpromisedhimtheyhad.

She smiled at him, reading his uneasiness in his face. "An apology for the past and a message of
friendshipinthefuture.TheywantustocomeandvisittheminBarbadosandbringMatthew.Your
grandmotherwantstomeethergreat-grandson."

"Anddoyouwanttogo?"heasked.

Shecurledherfingersintohis."YousaidwemightgodowntotheCaribbeanforthesummer,didn't
you?"sheasked."Andcombinebusinesswithpleasure?I'dliketomakemypeacewithyourpeople.I
thinkyou'dlikethat,too."

"Iwould.Butthereissomuchtoforgive,querida"hesaidsoftly,hisdarkfacequietandstill."Can
youfindthatgenerosityinyourheart?"

"I love you," she said, and the words were sweet and heady in his ears. "I'd do anything for you.
Forgivenessisasmallthingtoaskforthehappinessyou'vegivenme."

"Andyouhavenoregrets?"hepersisted.

Shenuzzledhercheekagainsthisjacket."Don'tbeabsurd.Iregretallthoseyearswespentapart.But
now we have something rare and beautiful. I'm grateful for miracles, because our marriage is
certainlyone."

Helookeddownatherbrightheadagainsthisarmandfeltthatmiraclerighttohistoes.Hebrought
her hand to his lips and kissed it warmly. "Suppose we get Matthew and take him on a picnic?" he
suggested."HecanfeedtheducksandwecansitandplanthattriptoBarbados."

MelissapressedcloseragainstDiego,allthenightmaresofthepastlostinthesunshineofthepresent.
"I'dlikethat,"shesaid.Shewatchedthesky,thinkingabouthowmanytimesinthepastshe'dlooked
up and wondered if Diego was watching it as she was and thinking of her. Her eyes lifted to his
smilingface.Shelaughed.Thesoundstartledasmallgroupofpigeonsonthesidewalk,andtheyflew
upinacacophonyoffeatherymusic.Likethelastofherdoubts,theyvanishedintothetreesandleft
notatraceofthemselvesinsight

TableofContents

PROLOGUE
CHAPTERONE
CHAPTERTWO
CHAPTERTHREE
CHAPTERFOUR
CHAPTERFIVE
CHAPTERSIX
CHAPTERSEVEN
CHAPTEREIGHT
CHAPTERNINE
CHAPTERTEN
CHAPTERELEVEN