A Totally Bound Publication
Handle With Care
ISBN # 978-1-78430-147-7
©Copyright Willa Okati 2014
Cover Art by Posh Gosh ©Copyright July 2014
Edited by Rebecca Douglas
Totally Bound Publishing
This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination
and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or
places is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form,
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the publisher, Totally Bound Publishing.
Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Totally Bound
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proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.
The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs
and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator
of the artwork.
Published in 2014 by Totally Bound Publishing, Newland House, The Point, Weaver Road,
Lincoln, LN6 3QN
Warning:
This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This
story has a heat rating of Totally Sizzling and a Sexometer of 1.
Soulmarked
HANDLE WITH CARE
Willa Okati
Book three in the Soulmarked series
Love conquers all—even a proud man’s need to stand tough. No matter what it takes to heal his
wounded soldier, Daniel is willing.
Daniel keeps a secret close to his chest—he’s long believed his soulmate-to-be, Jesse, was
killed in action before they had a chance to fully bond. Jesse had asked Daniel to wait, to be
patient, and to grow up a little before he fell in love.
In return, Daniel promised to wait for Jesse and take care of him—always.
Now, word’s come that the report was in error. Jesse survived, and has returned home, but
doesn’t want to see or hear from Daniel. When Daniel tracks Jesse down, he finds a broken,
wounded man who isn’t glad to see him.
While Jesse knew finding his soulmate would help him heal, he’d wanted to become strong
enough to be worthy of Daniel before they reunited. Angry and ashamed, he’s ready to run
again.
It’s a hard row to hoe and a nut almost too tough to crack, but Daniel’s come this far in
search of his soulmate. He won’t give up now—and he won’t let Jesse give up either.
Dedication
For J.L. and Kimberly, with thanks.
Trademarks Acknowledgement
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following
wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:
Guinness: Diageo plc
Bobcat: Doosan Group
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Prologue
“Anything else for you and your little brother?”
“I’m not his—”
Jesse did three things at once—raised his hand, kicked back in the booth and grinned at
the waiter. One of the three made something small and hot knot up in Daniel’s stomach. He
just wasn’t sure which.
“He’s not my brother,” Jesse said. “Just a friend.”
The waiter frowned at them. He looked both young and bone-tired. His name tag hung
crooked and the letters spelling Robbie were askew, but he had sharp, clear eyes and he
carried a thick paperback tucked in his hip pocket. Daniel would bet he could tell what was
going on.
He didn’t call them on it, though, and he had a nice smile. “Your call. Shout if you
change your mind.”
Jesse watched him go without looking at Daniel. “Calm down and drink your coffee,”
he said. “They make an okay cup here. I’ve seen that guy around. He’s got two brothers of
his own, that’s why he thought what he did. He won’t tell and get you in trouble.”
“I’m not worried about him.”
“You should be. You crossed two state lines to get here, and you’re just sixteen.”
Daniel hunched his shoulders. He turned his coffee cup around and around, blowing at
the steam. The lenses of his glasses fogged over, but the ceramic warmed his hands. “You’re
barely eighteen. Yesterday you were seventeen.”
“And you’re not going to be seventeen for almost eight months.” Jesse touched his chin,
as if he were going to say something, but didn’t. Nothing except for, “Hurry, before it goes
cold.”
Daniel bit his lip and fell silent, but he didn’t drink his coffee. He watched Jesse instead.
Not many people used Finders anymore. Not since it’d become easier to search for
soulmates with online registries and even so, most people preferred to let nature take its
course. They’d meet their soulmate when they met their soulmate, done and done.
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Daniel didn’t get that. Didn’t they want to know? Couldn’t they feel the tugging pull
that yanked them awake every time they fell asleep, too restless to dream with the need to
get up and go searching?
The Finder Daniel had been to had said that no, most people didn’t. Developing so
young—the Finder’s words, not Daniel’s—made him an outlier. Different. Fine, then. Jesse
had gone to a Finder young, too, hadn’t he? And if the Finder was right, then he and Jesse
were—would be—soulmates. Someday. Jesse knew that as much as Daniel did.
So why wouldn’t Jesse even look at him?
Daniel sighed. Jesse didn’t look much like the picture he’d sent the Finder. He’d gotten
older since it was taken. Still, Daniel knew he would have been able to pick Jesse out of a
line-up. It was his nose, Daniel thought. Wide at the bridge, like a lion’s. And he had
a…different…kind of face. It sort of changed every time Jesse smiled or frowned or went
quiet. Daniel couldn’t decide if he was good-looking or not.
Jesse’s uniform didn’t fit him right. Too new. Daniel could smell the sharp chemical
clean and the plastic it’d come wrapped in. Green Alphas, every stitch of them regulation.
The cuffs rode up over his wrists when he moved his hands, and he had orders to report to
someplace called Parris Island tomorrow morning. If Daniel hadn’t come that day, without
warning Jesse, he’d have missed Jesse completely.
He didn’t get how Jesse was okay with that. How he could be okay with it.
Jesse stayed put on the other side of the booth, arms carefully crossed. Daniel would bet
he didn’t know what to do or say either. That should have made Daniel feel better. It didn’t.
“Do you drink a lot of coffee?” Jesse asked.
Daniel made a dismissive gesture. “Just every now and then. If I have a big test at
school.” He tried a sip. It wasn’t too bad. Too strong, but that was better than too weak.
“Why didn’t you tell him the truth? The waiter, I mean.”
“Because legally I’m an adult, and you’re not.”
Daniel scoffed. “Soulmates are different.”
“Not that different. Not unless their guardians are with them.” Jesse shifted in the seat
as if he wanted to lower his hands to the table but wouldn’t let himself. “If I’d known you
were planning to come out here, I would have asked you not to.”
That hurt going down, like swallowing a bite of bitter orange. “Why?”
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“It isn’t right. It isn’t what I wanted.”
“No?” Daniel’s knuckles went white around the mug. “Why didn’t you say so in the
letter you sent? Why did you go to a Finder in the first place if you didn’t want to meet your
soulmate?”
“Because I didn’t think it would work.” Jesse finally looked at Daniel when he spoke to
him. At least there was that, even if it was almost…shy. “I’d forgotten I signed up with that
Finder. It was months ago. I figured I’d wasted my money, and I’d forgotten about it. But I
would have asked you not to come if I’d known because it wouldn’t be fair, okay? To you or
to me.” He raised one shoulder. “You can’t miss something if you don’t know you should.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” Daniel kept both hands wrapped around his cup, even
though the coffee was going cold. “I wanted to see you for myself. I don’t like not knowing
things. That’s why I went to a Finder instead of waiting my turn. I wanted to know who I
was in love with.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? It’s true.” Daniel leaned forward, elbows on the table. “I’d rather know
what’s true and what isn’t. I’d always rather know.”
“You would, wouldn’t you?” Jesse laughed out loud. He had nice eyes, too. Wide-set
and hazel and friendly. “And you got me. God, that sucks.”
He had the kind of laugh that made Daniel want to smile. Maybe it did that for
everyone, like the waiter.
It didn’t matter. Daniel’s mouth turned up at the corners. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”
“It isn’t about minding.” Jesse’s smile didn’t fade away. He cocked his head to the right
and frowned, just a little bit. Like he’d seen something he didn’t expect to be there. Or
someone, maybe. “I didn’t see it before.”
“See what?”
“You have a really nice smile,” Jesse said.
Daniel could feel his cheeks go pink over the bones beneath them at that.
Jesse wrapped both his big hands around his mug and held on tight. “You’re smart too,
aren’t you?”
Daniel touched the tip of his tongue to his lip. Something felt different now. Changed.
He wasn’t sure… “I like to read,” he said, though his mouth was dry. He sipped at his coffee,
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and that helped a little. “Mostly history. And languages. I know Greek. One of my teachers
said I should be a doctor. I’m not sure. I think I’d rather be a veterinarian.”
“I’m good at math.” Jesse propped his chin on his hand. He looked younger and older
at the same time. Like he’d grown into his face all of a sudden. He was still smiling. Maybe
he’d forgotten and it’d just happened.
Daniel risked touching just the edge of Jesse’s shirt cuff. “Why did you join up?”
“Because I want to go to college, too.”
Daniel shook his head slightly, not understanding.
“The GI Bill,” Jesse said. “I don’t want to end up working on a road crew until I’m old
and all beat-up like my uncle and my grandpa. I want to do something with my life. It’s
about the only way I can get to college. It’s what my dad joined up to do.”
“Did he?” Daniel asked.
“Yeah,” Jesse said. He looked at Daniel’s finger and thumb on his sleeve, and his smile
wasn’t a happy one anymore. “See, I never met him. He and my mom, before he left for basic
training…they were young too. Just kids.”
“Oh.” Daniel’s throat had gone tight and metallic-tasting. He drew his hand back.
“Don’t be mad at me. I didn’t think. I didn’t know.”
“I’m not mad at you, Daniel.” Jesse blew out a breath and made an odd face, as if
puzzled and amazed at something Daniel didn’t know the name of. “I should be. I’ve been
trying to be, but it’s not working.”
Hope lightened Daniel’s heart. “Really?”
“I think so.” A light touch beneath Daniel’s chin startled him into looking up. Looking
at Jesse. Jesse watched him, his smile smaller but warm again, as he lifted Daniel’s head.
“You’re braver than I thought you’d be. You’re smart. And you’ve got these amazing blue
eyes.”
Daniel’s face warmed. “You can barely see them behind the glasses.”
“I like the glasses,” Jesse said. “They’re good on you.” He curled the first knuckles of
his fingers, light as butterfly wings, under Daniel’s chin. “You’re sweet, too. And tough. I
didn’t know you could be both.”
Daniel didn’t know what to say. Slowly, slowly, he raised his hand to wrap around
Jesse’s wrist. “I thought you wouldn’t want…” Touching might kick-start a soul bond. Their
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marks might start to come in. He held his breath, but he didn’t feel anything except warm.
And good. Calm.
“I know what I said. I just…” Jesse laughed again, a soft breath that rippled on its way
past his lips. “I guess you are going to be my soulmate someday. I can feel it, in here. Like
there’s a string tying me to you.” He tapped his chest. “How does that work?”
“I don’t know. It just does.” Daniel turned his wrist so that his hand covered Jesse’s.
“I’ll be good for you. I’ll look out for you and take care of you. I promise.”
Jesse’s eyes closed all the way, and he turned his head. Daniel felt it now, in his chest.
Soulmate. He’d bet his life on it. And now that he thought about living without it, he
understood Jesse a little better.
He wasn’t sorry he’d come. He couldn’t be. No more than he could lie about what he
felt.
“I know you have to go,” he said before Jesse could open his eyes. “That’s okay. I’ll
write you, and you can write me. Just come back home when you’re done.”
Jesse exhaled, a long breath that ruffled the tips of Daniel’s bangs. He drew Daniel’s
hand closer to him, and squeezed tighter. “I will,” he said, sleepy eyes warm. “Just wait until
then. Deal?”
Under the table, Daniel nudged his foot next to Jesse’s and made a soulmate’s promise.
“Deal.”
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Chapter One
“Jesse? Someone’s here to see you.”
Jesse eased a heavy keg of Guinness onto the stone cobbles next to the old brewery wall
before he glanced up. Cade stood at the far end, wiping wet hands on his sturdy green waist
apron as he unwound its drawstrings. He wasn’t the regular bartender, but had come to fill
in for a week while the Hart and Hound’s owner, Helena, took her vacation time. She’d
promised Jesse he could trust Cade, but Jesse hadn’t made up his mind about that yet. “Say
again?”
Cade motioned backward. “Someone in the bar said he wants to see you.”
Jesse didn’t move. Yet. He’d dropped into a crouch to settle the keg where it needed to
go, and his arms ached from the strain of lifting it, wood and steel hoops and all. They didn’t
do pretenders or knockoffs at the Hart and Hound in Folly’s Bow. Good plain beer, plain
folks, and a plain town where they looked out for their own.
He wasn’t one of their own, but they’d let him in anyway. “Did you recognize him?”
“Nobody I’ve ever met. Says he’s a friend of yours.” Cade dropped the damp apron
into a wheeled bin and fetched a clean replacement from the shelf by the door that led
around to the pub proper. He was the kind of guy who crackled with life and energy even
when standing still, and it made Jesse miss Helena. She got the job done with no muss and
no fuss. Tired eyes, tired smile, kind heart. No questions asked of a man who’d gone to war
and come back with more scars than skin, jumping at shadows. She’d given Jesse a job in the
back of the tavern when her brother, his old buddy, had asked it of her.
Jesse didn’t have sisters. Helena made him wish that’d been different.
Thoughtful, he reached out to rumple one of Dog’s silky-soft red ears. The big
wolfhound-setter mix didn’t wake up, but his long fringed tail swept the cobblestones with a
happy thump-thump-thump. A headache that’d been building for the past few hours,
gathering weight and strength behind Jesse’s eyes, made thinking harder than it should be.
Than he remembered it used to be.
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Petting Dog helped, usually. God, but he’d grown. Seemed like yesterday he’d fished a
puppy out of the dumpster where he’d heard it crying. Good thing, too. He and Dog had
saved each other’s lives. Helena called him a service dog to get around the rules for having
animals in the tavern.
Jesse stroked the gentle slope of Dog’s back now, grounding himself. Strangers didn’t
come looking for Jesse. Everyone who mattered—for now—already knew him. Maybe. He
forgot, sometimes. Both things and people. “Should I look and see if I recognize him?”
“If you want,” Cade said with a casual shrug. He kept one eye on Jesse while he tied a
knot in his new apron and stepped to one side, nodding at the door. “If you go just far
enough to peek through the galley window, you’ll see him. He’s with that big group from the
road crew.”
Jesse knew most of the road crew by sight. Decent guys, most of them. Rough around
the edges but they wouldn’t hurt a fly, and they liked Dog. He patted Dog’s neck and
murmured, “Stay.”
Dog yawned.
Cade laughed. Too loudly, but he meant well. “Somebody’s got to teach that hound
how to relax,” he said as he crossed paths with Jesse and knelt by the big dog’s head,
rumpling his ears. “Go on. I’ve got him.”
Jesse thought Helena must have given Cade the rundown on how to treat him. Handle
with care. He’d be humiliated if he wasn’t grateful. He nodded a clumsy thanks to Cade as he
slipped past him.
It wasn’t often that Jesse ventured even so far as the Hart and Hound’s kitchen. He
wasn’t good with crowds, either, but as long as he stayed as far back from the noise and
lights of the colonial-era tavern, he managed. It wasn’t far. No one saw him except the short
order cook who did the burgers to go with the beers, a small man who shot Jesse one
incurious glance, shrugged and visibly dismissed him.
The stranger amongst the road crew had settled himself at a good angle to be seen
through the galley window. Smallish for a guy, but wiry. Dark hair, so dark it nearly shined
blue under the low lights. Tanned from hard work.
He should be pale, Jesse thought. Clear as moonlight.
Why did I think that? I—
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A throb of not-quite-pain, more than discomfort, pounded its fists behind Jesse’s left
eye. He hissed and pressed the heel of his hand over that eye to block the light. It’d kept him
awake the night before, and surfaced at the worst times during the day. Though given how
mixed-up his body signals were after taking that lot of shrapnel, it might not have been pain
at all. Might have been some sensation he no longer understood. “I don’t recognize him,” he
said. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about,” Cade said, approaching from the right side. “If you were
hurting, you should have said.”
Jesse massaged his forehead, raised one shoulder, and said nothing. His wrist gave a
twinge. Must have pulled it manhandling that keg. He chafed at the joint and shook his head.
Words wouldn’t come, but Cade understood him all the same.
“Don’t be a noble idiot, huh?” Cade scolded, kindly enough. As if Jesse were his
brother. “There’s no need to suffer when you don’t have to, you know. Take some aspirin,
take Dog, and get on home. Ah-ah-ah. Not a word.” He pointed firmly at the door. “I’ll tell
whoever he is that you’re not selling what he’s buying, but don’t you worry about it.
Understand?”
* * * *
“Whose round is it?”
“Not mine,” Daniel said, pushing the crew foreman’s shoulder as he leaned back in his
chair. He’d worked two weeks for the man, and though he wouldn’t have said they were
friends, they got along well enough. Good thing, too, in case he needed a full-time job out
here in the future. “I’ll get the next one.”
The foreman rolled his eyes. “You’ve got balls, kid, I’ll give you that.” He dug for his
wallet, and forgot all about Daniel between one breath and the next.
Good. Daniel had other things on his mind. He tilted his head, fixing the galley window
in his line of vision, hoping for just one more look.
Jesse. It had been him, after all. Daniel would have staked his life on it.
He’d changed, though. More so than the picture showed, the one he’d gotten from
Jesse’s old war buddy. Well, he would have. They were teenagers the last time—the only
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time—they’d met face-to-face. Jesse was taller, for one thing. Thinner, too, and he’d been a
gawky eighteen-year-old back then. He’d grown his hair out to nearly shoulder-length, but it
was still all the colors of autumn, brown and red and gold, and no one could mistake that
nose.
Jesse. Mine. My soulmate. My Jesse.
Scarred. Daniel hadn’t gotten much detail from the picture or from the passing glance,
but he’d seen the pale lightning-bolt lines on the side of Jesse’s face. Shrapnel, the letter had
said. That, and a warning not to let it put him off. It didn’t.
Could have been worse. Though how so, Daniel would be hard put to say.
One look at him, and Jesse had ducked out of the galley window as if he were on fire.
Daniel hadn’t come to the Hart and Hound expecting a bear hug and a kiss hello. Still, it
stung. More than stung, and the worst part was Daniel didn’t understand it. In his pocket,
the letter from Jesse’s war buddy crinkled when he shifted his weight. Daniel had read it
more times than he could count. Worn the paper almost tissue-soft, thin. He’d put it in a new
envelope, one with corners still sharp and neat.
Were the scars why Jesse didn’t want Daniel to see him? Daniel frowned as he looked at
his hands. He had scars, himself. Years and years’ worth of nicks and scrapes from working
road crews and construction. His skin had grown weathered from his constant, careless
exposure to the sun and wind, thinking it didn’t matter. Back then, he’d believed that the
single letter his teenaged self had gotten from overseas wasn’t a mistake. That Jesse had been
killed in action, and wouldn’t go to college after all. Daniel had decided he wouldn’t, either.
Had that first letter truly been a mistake? Daniel didn’t know that either. He hadn’t
been able to find out. He and Jesse weren’t legally bonded. Weren’t really even soulmates.
Not without a mark.
I should have kissed him like I wanted to, back in that diner. I think he might have wanted me to.
Maybe then…
The guys he’d come with, all of them road crew—some still in their vests and dust-
choked canvas trousers—raised a ragged cheer at the sight of beer approaching. Daniel
chuckled, amused by their enthusiasm, and absently rubbed at his wrist. They’d had him on
a Bobcat earlier, proving his worth, and the levers had stuck, but he didn’t mind. Come what
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may, he wouldn’t be sorry he’d picked this part of the path for his life. Good men. Plain men.
All mouth, all heart.
“Keep those hands to yourself,” their waiter scolded, flicking one man’s ear. “If you’re
interested, you ask like a gentleman.”
“What’d happen if I did?” the crewman asked, his grin wide and playful. Just pulling
pigtails, both of them.
“Then I’d shut you down like a locked box,” the waiter shot back. He winked, to take
the sting out of it, and the road crew whistled and catcalled in appreciation.
He’d been the one Daniel had chosen to ask to pass word to Jesse. He hadn’t been sure
the guy would do it. Not even a little, until he’d seen Jesse peeking out at him.
Had Jesse sent any message in return? That was the question. Daniel waited as patiently
as he could, watching the waiter pass pint glasses around until he got to the last. To him.
Then he couldn’t help it. He looked up at the man as he took the glass, knowing hope
betrayed itself in his eyes.
At least the waiter didn’t pull his punches. “Says he doesn’t know you, friend,” he said,
tucking his tray under one arm. “Nice try, though.”
“But—” Daniel sat up straighter, frowning. He’d seen Jesse looking at him. And the
way he’d reacted, surely…
The waiter patted his shoulder amid the razzing from the road crew, who were decent
men but liked a good joke as much as anyone else. “Better luck next time. Anybody want
anything else?”
* * * *
Jesse didn’t pack up and clear out as fast as Cade had hinted he should. He didn’t do
anything quickly anymore, and nights like tonight went slower than most. The weatherman
had said there’d be rain. Best as Jesse had been able to figure, the building pressure during
storms did something to his head.
Could be worse. Doctors tended to peer over the rims of their glasses at Jesse, looking
from his scans to him as if challenging him to start making sense. The shrapnel he’d taken
should have killed him, or so said all the pictures they took of his head. Other doctors, less
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worried about the body and more about the mind, said he should count himself lucky he’d
come home alive.
Jesse knew that. He did. And storms on the way gave everyone headaches, not just him.
No soulmate? They’d asked him as they made notes and ticked off boxes in their charts.
Hmm. Shame. Wounds tend to heal quicker with bonded men. Any chance…? No? Trouble sleeping,
too, hmm. Bad dreams? No dreams? Tsk-tsk-tsk.
“I’d start looking for a soulmate,” one doctor had told him, either bolder or just more
done with nonsense than most of his kind. “The sooner the better.”
Jesse let their advice go in one ear and out of the other. Silence was a good enough
answer. They’d take the meaning they wanted. He couldn’t explain it, anyway. That he did,
and he didn’t, have a soulmate. That he’d walk through a field of IEDs before he let Daniel
see him like this. Not as brave as Daniel was.
The memory almost made Jesse laugh. Sixteen years old and bold enough to cross half
the country on a bus, no one the wiser, just to meet him? God. He’d only met the boy Daniel
once, but that was enough to be sure Daniel deserved better.
When he got better, Jesse had promised himself, then he’d go and find Daniel. Then.
Not before.
Apron off and into the bin. Jacket on, taken from the wooden peg by the staff door. He
flinched once when a chorus of laughter louder than most raised itself to rattle the rafters,
but it faded soon enough. Cade, shaking his head, crossed from one side of the door to the
other, not noticing Jesse as he went.
Must have told that road crew guy I wasn’t interested. Jesse grimaced to himself. Sounded
like that’d gone over great with the man’s buddies. He crouched to tie his shoe and make
sure the knots were sturdy. Knots had been the hardest thing to relearn. One of the hardest.
Cade didn’t have to make a show out of it, he thought. No doubt Cade would have
given the man’s answer to him straight. No sense in false hope.
And yet… Jesse shook his head in the way he’d learned, a tiny motion of his chin that
just barely made his hair swing against his collar. And yet, what? He wasn’t sure. And yet…
He didn’t know the man, but he’d looked nice. Like someone who should be treated
with more… Just more, Jesse thought, frustrated. Of something. He rubbed harder at his
head. God, but he needed to get out of there for the night.
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Dog whined softly. He’d woken when Jesse had jerked away from the noise, but he
didn’t judge. Just sat on his blanket tucked into the corner and watched Jesse patiently, his
tail fanning the floor in whispering swaths.
Jesse held out a hand to beckon the hound. “Ready to go home?”
Dog woofed happily and stood up to give himself a good shake. Jesse chuckled. He’d
grown up fast, but in some ways he still acted like a puppy. Good. He wouldn’t take that
from Dog if he could have.
“Man’s best friend,” Jesse murmured. He kneaded the heavy fur around Dog’s neck.
“Leash or not tonight?”
Dog shook himself again, the tag on his collar clinking a brisk rattle against the buckle
Jesse had clipped it to. He trotted toward the door and stood there expectantly, tail wagging,
looking up at Jesse with his mouth open in a doggy grin. He jumped a few inches—no,
pranced was the word. Pranced like a puppy.
“What’s gotten into you?” Must be squirrels out in the park tonight, Jesse thought,
opening the door. Dog bounded past him, battering Jesse companionably with his tail as he
went. Man’s best friend, indeed.
Outside, the cooler air broke open around Jesse in a soothing wave. He exhaled long
and slow so that he could take in a deep breath that smelled like ozone and green, growing
things. Better. So much better, even with a storm on the way. One good thing about a small
town. One of the good things, including a park with grass like velvet, where no footsteps
were louder than the thumping of Dog’s tail, and traffic died down to nothing after ten p.m.
Some nights Jesse stayed in the park rather than going home, and laid on his back to watch
the stars go by.
The thumping in Jesse’s head calmed as he breathed deeper still, easing from as fast as
his pulse to slow, matching the rise and fall of his chest. Better. Peaceful. Peace was worth
almost any price. He’d learned that, if nothing else.
When he opened his eyes, he saw the man from the bar crossing the park—and Dog,
ears back, tail high—running full blast after him as if chasing the best squirrel ever, with not
a single bark of warning.
Damn it. That wasn’t like Dog. What’d gotten into him? “Dog!” he called. “Dog!”
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“Dog!”
Daniel looked up sharply at the call. The silence in the park that’d struck him as so
strange at first had gotten more familiar than he’d realized, and breaking it reminded him of
gunshots and snapping branches.
“Dog!” came the shout again. Daniel turned on his heel, sweeping the park for—
Two oversized paws planted themselves on his knees, followed by a silky red muzzle
and a puppyish bark. The dog’s tail swished like a wind sock as he jumped higher, the paws
leaving muddy smears on Daniel’s jacket this time.
Daniel laughed out loud. He didn’t have a hearty laugh, but a quiet one. Too many
years alone. Isolation either made a man hush or howl whenever he got a chance to speak up.
He caught the dog by its collar and gave its head a good hard rub. “Dog, I take it?” He
looked up, the smile lingering. “Was that his name, or a warning?” he asked—or rather
started to ask, but it died around the fourth word.
Jesse.
The dog barked again and pulled a U-turn, galloping back to Jesse. Jesse’s hand came to
rest on its head, settling so comfortably and familiarly into place that Daniel knew who the
animal belonged to. It settled—as much as a dog like that could settle—at the touch, tail
going at five miles an hour instead of fifty. Jesse looked up at Daniel, shading his eyes with
one hand even though the only lights out were the moon and a scattered sprinkling of
lantern posts. “Did he hurt you?”
Daniel’s voice was still stuck in his throat. He coughed to clear the knot away, or tried
to. Jesse’s voice sounded different to the one he heard in his memory. Huskier. As if he didn’t
get much practice speaking either, and maybe he didn’t. He almost wondered, for a moment,
if he’d identified the man incorrectly…but there was that nose, and the tug at Daniel’s heart.
He swallowed again. Easier this time. “Don’t worry about it. He’s fine.”
“He’s a big puppy,” Jesse said. “I thought he was after a squirrel.”
“Maybe he was, and I just got in the way.”
“That’d be like him. Big goof,” Jesse said. He kept a wary eye on Daniel as he
approached, Dog stuck to his side like a burr.
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Daniel kept his eye on Jesse, too. The way he walked, one slow and careful step at a
time, Daniel would have expected to see a limp with each pace forward, but no. Walking on
eggshells for another reason, then. Why?
He thought he had his answer when a faint ripple of light flashed behind him. He
craned his neck to check over his shoulder and sniffed at the air. Ozone, and he knew
lightning when he saw its reflection.
Jesse flinched and looked up at the cloud cover rolling in. He recovered from the flinch
fast enough, though, and touched the tip of his tongue to his upper lip. Working himself up
to say something, maybe. Recognizing him after all? Hard to say. Daniel braced himself,
waiting for it.
“Sorry about earlier,” Jesse said. He still had the sleepy, hooded eyes Daniel
remembered. Same warm hazel color. He shifted his weight and pushed his hands into his
pockets, as shy as the newly-minted soldier had been.
The memory made Daniel smile the way Jesse had, that once upon a time. “I said don’t
worry about it,” he told Jesse. “It’s okay. I promise.”
Jesse took hold of Dog’s collar. He eyed Daniel up and down. “That wasn’t what I
meant,” he said. Faint hints of color touched his unscarred cheek. The other stayed pale.
“Earlier, as in at the tavern earlier. I heard what happened after Cade…”
“I’m not that thin-skinned. I’ll live.”
A faint frown crossed Jesse’s face, but he didn’t ask. He didn’t need to. Daniel could
read the thoughts reflected in his body language. Jesse would mind being laughed at.
He along with most of the world. Sometimes Daniel did. He would have now,
but…somehow, it didn’t seem to matter. Jesse had kept coming while he’d spoken, and he
stopped just inside arm’s reach. Close enough for Daniel to feel the swishing of Dog’s tail.
So close that, if Daniel had chosen to, he could have reached for Jesse’s hand. Jesse’s
wrist. Taken the cuff of his sleeve between two fingers to see if that woke the memory. This
close, Daniel could see the scars, and he could imagine how shrapnel must have come at
Jesse from the side in a vicious hail of metal and fire. His hand twitched, wanting to touch.
Carefully, carefully, Daniel lowered his hand to Dog and scratched under his muzzle.
Dog licked him, surprising another laugh free. “Tell you what,” he said. “Walk with me as
far as the edge of the park, and we’re even. Deal?”
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Jesse’s smile hadn’t changed at all. Still sweet. Still warm. “Deal.”
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Chapter Two
“What’s your name?” Jesse asked, one hand on Dog to keep him settled. “Cade didn’t
say.”
“It’s Da—” Daniel stopped and cleared his throat. No need to upset Jesse, or to send
him running if he did hold some grudge. At least not before Daniel understood what was
going on here. “Darren. Call me Darren.”
“Darren,” Jesse repeated. He looked almost sheepish. “I still feel like I should recognize
you.”
“It’s all right.”
“It’s not. Sometimes I get…fuzzy.” Jesse touched the side of his head. “When I try to
think about things too much. I’ve been trying, but I can’t remember. Where do I know you
from? When did we meet?”
Ah, Jesse. “A long time ago,” Daniel said. “Just in passing.” He gave Dog’s head one
more scruff, for luck. “It’ll come to you.”
Or at least if he had anything to say about it, it would.
The first fat drop of rain splattered on the tip of his nose. Embarrassing, but worth it to
see—and hear—Jesse laugh. “Very funny,” he said, wiping his face, and widening his grin so
Jesse knew he was merely teasing.
“Or not,” Jesse said. He shielded his eyes as he took two steps backward to look up at
the sky. “I knew this was coming, but I forgot.”
Drops two and three followed fast after the first one, and more after those, picking up
speed as they fell. “Me too.” The rain tasted like the sea, cool and salty. “Think we’ll drown?”
Jesse closed his eyes briefly to let the rain fall on his face. When he blinked them back
open, he looked startled somehow, as if he hadn’t known he meant to do that—or even that
he was doing it before it’d been done. He wiped his face on his forearm and shook the
droplets away. “I—”
Whatever he’d meant to say was lost in a low roll of thunder and the clouds parting to
pour down rain in heavy sheets. This was rain that meant business and no two ways about it.
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22
Heavy enough to row a boat through! Daniel covered his face with his arm as Jesse had done and
blinked, glad for once he didn’t still need to wear glasses—though he carried his old pair in
his pocket for luck, no matter where he went.
A warm hand on his shoulder surprised Daniel into dropping his arm. “This way,”
Jesse shouted, louder than Daniel would have thought he could be, to be heard over the
clatter of raindrops. Even so, Daniel only caught every third word. “Shelter…clock
tower…follow me.”
Good enough for a start. Daniel nodded, put his head down and ran behind Jesse.
Jesse led Daniel into the shelter half a breath before the skies truly opened up and let
loose. Dog came last of all, barking at their heels all the way in, and planted himself at the
threshold to let the storm know what he thought of it.
Standing barely inside the doorway himself, Jesse craned his neck for a look at the sky.
Not that it did him much good. The sun had long since gone down. The chill of the raindrops
that’d soaked his shoulders and wetted his hair made him shiver. Dog nudged his head
under Jesse’s hand when he did, loaning him some warmth. Good boy. Jesse rubbed one
knuckle lightly over the top of Dog’s noggin.
Dog licked his wrist.
“Dope,” Jesse told him.
Dog sneezed. Wetly.
A laugh, soft and warm, made Jesse turn his head. Darren had beat him into the folly,
but just by a body’s length. He didn’t look as wet—either that, or wet didn’t bother the man.
He turned in a slow half-circle one way then back to make another half-circle facing the other
way. Pale reflections of street lights, filtered through the rain, skimmed over him, from wide
eyes to sweet mouth open in—what was that, surprise or delight? Both?
“Any port in a storm, they say.” Jesse leaned against the wall, letting the good stone
support his weight. He watched Darren poke his nose around, amused. He’d always
wondered how someone would react, seeing this place for the first time. Whether they’d
prune their nose up or stand stock-still with question marks bristling over their heads. “It’s
the Folly the town got its name from.”
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“Really?” Darren stopped by one of the high windows better suited for an artillery
bunker than parks and recreation. He stood on his tiptoes to get a look at one of the old
carvings etched in a rock. “1893. It looks its age.”
“Older than that. It’s fallen down a time or two, but they use the same stones to build it
back up again. Or so I’m told.”
“It feels like it’s seen its share of life.” Darren stroked the stone. “Smooth. Almost like
river rock.”
“I think most of them were.”
“There’s a story behind it, isn’t there?” Darren padded almost silently to Jesse. He took
up position at the other side of the door, where he’d have light enough to see and be seen by,
and lingered there, watching Jesse. Not impatiently, Jesse thought. Just waiting.
Lightning rippled across the clouds.
Jesse tucked his hands in his pockets, safely out of the way. “I’m not a good storyteller.”
Darren raised one shoulder. That’s okay, the movement said. As far as Jesse could tell, he
meant it—and he’d wait, patient as the stone itself, as long as it took to get the words
together.
He didn’t have to, no. But…
“I don’t know if it’s true,” Jesse said.
“If it’s a good story, does it matter?”
Jesse made a heh noise in the back of his throat. “I guess not, no.” He remembered, now,
when he’d heard the story for the first time. That helped. He could manage. “But this is the
way I heard it happened, back when Folly wasn’t so much a town as a stop in the road where
a rich man lived—”
“Always the way,” Darren murmured.
“True. Anyway, he’d heard Thomas Jefferson had a gazebo. Or George Washington. I
don’t remember which. So this rich man, he had to have one too.”
“Sounds like a few guys I’ve known.”
How did Darren do that? He kept making Jesse smile. Even when Jesse didn’t feel them
slipping out until they’d changed the shape of his mouth. Darren leaned against the stone
wall, small and warm, patient even though he had no reason to be. He was smiling, too, his
parted lips pink and soft and…
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Jesse coughed once and looked away, cheeks and ears blooming with heat.
“Sorry,” Darren said after a moment. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t.” At least not enough to make a difference, and they couldn’t go anywhere
until the storm passed, so why bother him with the reasons? Jesse looked out of the doorway
at the rain. He’d bet if Darren were caught outside, he’d be the sort to tip his head back and
try to catch drops on his tongue.
He glanced sideways at Darren and wished he had more light to see by. Couldn’t tell
anything important about the man. Whether he had a soulmark, or not, for one…
“I didn’t realize just how late it was.”
Jesse had heard you could feel the passing of the seconds and minutes if you laid your
hand on the old gears that used to run the clock tower. He drew on his memory instead.
“Barely past ten. Not that late.”
Darren leaned against the inside of the door. Whatever he was looking at, it wasn’t in
there with them. Some memory from long ago and far away, Jesse thought. “Late enough,”
he said.
Not for someone his age. Never mind that Darren had to be barely a year or three
younger than him, at Jesse’s best guess. Unless… “Do you have a mate waiting for you?”
A flash of a smile crossed Darren’s lips and disappeared as quickly as it’d come.
“Mmm. You?”
Was that a yes or a no? Jesse couldn’t tell. No was the more likely answer. He’d never
known anyone who wouldn’t answer yes or at least touch their soulmark when mates were
mentioned. Just part of the human condition.
He flexed his wrist. Sore. Did he have any ACE wraps in the room he’d rented? Maybe.
Maybe not.
“You should try some heat on that.” Darren snapped out of whatever strange fugue
he’d drifted into.
“What?” Jesse resisted the instinct to hide his wrist behind his back.
“You’ve been rubbing the joint this whole time,” Darren said. He tilted his head as if
that’d help him get a better look, and pushed himself away from the door. “Let me see.”
“Don’t—” Jesse took two steps back.
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Give Darren credit for ears that worked. He drew up short, three feet away. Close
enough that he should have been able to—
Jesse made himself breathe. His ribs rose and fell, his breaths ragged and out of tune,
but as long as he was able to draw in air he could keep going. “Don’t come too close.”
He watched Darren hold back, and could tell just as easily Darren didn’t want to. He
didn’t want Darren to stay that far back, either. Too bad that the world they lived in didn’t
often give people what they wanted. “Why?”
“Because I won’t be able to feel it if you touch me.”
Darren was too young for deep frown lines, but Jesse could see where they would be as
he got older, and that wasn’t right. Darren should smile, not wear a sober scowl.
“I don’t understand.”
Jesse couldn’t bear to look at him much longer. He bent to scratch Dog’s head and the
barrel of his chest. Dog’s tail thumped the floor in distracted appreciation. That was how he
knew the dog could feel him. “Say you’re in a room alone, looking out the window,” he
started, fumbling at first. “And say your brother comes up behind you.”
“I don’t have any brothers.”
“Me neither. That’s not the point.” Jesse tried to think. The rain and the run had made
his face hot. He could feel himself fine. Just not anything else. “Your friend, then. Do you have
friends?”
“A few. Barrett. His soulmate Nick.”
“If they come up behind you in an empty room, would you know they were there?”
“Of course.” Darren paused. Jesse would swear he could hear the kid thinking.
“Everyone can.”
“I can’t.”
“But—” A soft sound, as if Darren drew his tongue across the bow of his upper lip.
He had that habit, Jesse had noticed. Starting to get it now? And still denying, too.
“It’s human nature. One of the seven senses. Blind, asleep, unconscious, it isn’t
supposed to make a difference. People know when family’s near. It’s part of how we find our
mates.”
“You’ve never heard about people not having it? Not even in stories?”
“I thought those were urban legends.”
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“If you can dream it, someone’s done it, or had it done to them.” Jesse exhaled. “I don’t
dream much, either. Not that I can remember.” Except for the nightmares, but he wouldn’t be
telling Darren about those.
“To them, or for them?”
“Either way works. And then, it doesn’t.” Jesse rubbed at one of Dog’s ears. Dog licked
his hand, the memory of warm and wet. “That’s why I’m saying, don’t touch me. All I’d feel is
the echo of body heat you left behind. I can’t find people. I don’t know when they’re near me.
You might as well not be here with me. If I closed my eyes, I’d be alone.”
Silence. Silence that went on for what seemed like ages, reverberating in his ears.
“You never finished the story,” Darren said.
Jesse almost laughed for disbelief. “Seriously?”
Outside, the park lanterns—on a timer—clicked off. He sensed more than saw Darren
raise one shoulder. “I’m curious.”
Jesse puffed out a crack of breath. “You… All right. The rich man told the builder what
he wanted, and this rich man, he was…picky. Choosy. Just this exact river stone, and just that
exact pattern to lay them in, mortared tight so no rain could get in. The builder put on a good
face, though from what I hear, he hadn’t ever done anything more complicated than a wall.”
Darren laughed quietly. “I know the type.”
“Same here. He didn’t want the rich man to know the truth, so he brazened it out. ‘Sure,
no problem, half payment up front’, all that, took those specifics about the stones, and away
he went.” Jesse cleared his throat. “And he got to work while the rich man went out of town
for a month or so. I don’t know why.”
“It’s okay. He’s not the point. Go on.”
Jesse wished he could see Darren’s face clearly. Talking to the dark like this… “That’s
almost all there is.”
“It isn’t.”
Jesse’s hands clenched. He made himself loosen them before they could form fists.
“No,” he said. “It isn’t.” This was meant to be a funny story, or at least people mostly
laughed when they told it.
Why did he have to blink his eyes hard to keep them from stinging with salt?
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“Go on,” Darren said. A flash of lightning illuminated his face for one second. Just one,
but it was enough for—for something Jesse didn’t understand. Kind face. Gentle gaze. Calm
pressure. Enough pressure to lean against. “What happened next?”
Jesse had to gather his words and choose them with care. “The rich man came back to
town to find the job almost done. Good thing he did. The builder had done the walls up as
you see them, almost to the top, with just those little slots for windows, and no door. ‘You
damn fool’, he shouted, ‘You told me this, and you told me that, but you never told me I
should build a way out!’”
Darren snorted. Laughter? Maybe.
The pressure behind Jesse’s eyes eased. Darren had a lovely smile.
“Is it a true story?”
“I don’t know,” Jesse said. “I doubt it. I’m pretty sure they didn’t turn the folly into a
clock tower until that 1893 date. But maybe.”
“Anything’s possible.”
“Sometimes. Some places.”
“Maybe more than you think.” And Darren was there, suddenly, moving when Jesse
wasn’t paying attention. Dropping to a crouch beside Jesse. Covering Jesse’s hand with his.
“Even if you had a soulmate, you wouldn’t be able to find them. You wouldn’t know them if
they crossed your path.”
He saw too much, too clearly. Jesse should have resented the hell out of him for it, but
he didn’t. Why didn’t he? “No,” he said. “I wouldn’t.”
“Okay, then.” Darren lifted his head. “If I touch you, it won’t be because I want to
please me. It’d be because I want to please you.”
Jesse’s mouth had gone dry. His hand flexed as if of its own accord, wrist bending up.
“You don’t know me.”
“I know enough.”
And as if he could see in the dark, Darren leaned forward to touch his mouth to Jesse’s,
light as a whisper and warm as morning sunlight…warm…
Daniel expected Jesse to pull away, and he was proven right. He left nothing behind but
the warmth of his lips, dry and soft, the echo of a kiss.
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Enough to give Daniel hope. Daniel touched his mouth, tracing the shape where Jesse
had been.
“I told you, don’t,” Jesse said. Daniel could barely see him in the city lights reflected on
the storm clouds. He’d come to a stop with his back against a wall near the door, and he
pressed the tips of his fingers to his mouth. “I…”
Daniel stayed where he was. Careful, careful. “You felt that, didn’t you?”
Jesse’s eyes were too wide, with too much white showing. He licked his lips once,
quickly, and said nothing.
As good as a confirmation. “Even if it was only an echo, isn’t that better than nothing?”
Jesse shook his head. Not the tiny, careful tick, but a broader sweep that brought his
hair forward to brush his cheeks.
Dog looked back and forth between the two of them, huffed, and padded to the door
where he lay down with his head on his paws, watching the rain. Or standing guard.
Depended on how much credit one wanted to give him.
Daniel stroked the dog’s silky head and was rewarded with a thumping of the heavily
fringed tail. Good boy.
“He likes you,” Jesse said. “That’s why I…”
Why he’d lingered. Daniel understood now. Why he’d bundled them both into this old
clock tower when there were other places they could go—including back to the Hart and
Hound, if he’d wanted. Places with other people, and without privacy.
Daniel flexed his wrist, and pressed the pad of his thumb against the pulse that beat
there. He couldn’t have seen anything in the dark, and he couldn’t be sure without a good
look—or, no, that was a lie. He could. He knew. If he closed his eyes and let his sense of touch
guide him, he could be certain.
He traced the faint impression of a broken hieroglyph circle rising over his pulse, and
knew he’d find the same on Jesse’s wrist.
Daniel was no doctor. Neither was he a philosopher. All he knew about soulmates and
soulmarks was much the same as anyone who didn’t study them for a living or an avocation.
But one thing he did know, and for a fact—soulmates needed one another. They’d been made
to crave the touch of one person above all others. They rested better when they slept
together. Cut one, and the other bled.
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Pull them apart and watch them wither.
You stupid, stubborn, selfless idiot. Years upon years of not getting better, and for what?
No more. Not after tonight. Daniel shifted forward, pushing himself from one kneeling
pose to another, the second bringing him to a stop at Jesse’s feet. He laid his hands—his
palms—light as thistledown on Jesse’s knee and hip. He bowed his head forward, just far
enough to sense rather than see for himself that Jesse felt something.
Jesse wanted to reach for him, Daniel thought. Maybe even wanted to push his head
back and take him by the hair and pull him closer. Instead he kept his hands to himself,
knotted by his sides, but those hands were shaking.
Daniel didn’t move his head. He spoke with his lips nearly touching denim, and the
hardness rising beneath it. His body reacted the same, burning and gnawing deep in his gut,
but he ignored that and put all his mind on pleasing Jesse. “Don’t worry about feeling me.
Feel yourself. What’s happening inside you.”
“Darren…”
“Shh.” Daniel pressed his mouth to the shape of Jesse’s cock. Jesse drew in a sharp
breath. His stomach muscles jerked, nudging his hips forward. Probably not on purpose, but
that didn’t matter. “It’s all right. Let me. I want to.”
He sensed it, though he couldn’t have said how he knew, when Jesse gave in. A
moment later, he felt the ghost of a touch graze the top of his head. Fingertips that wanted to
sink themselves into his hair. Better. Better and better…
Daniel breathed in, wanting to catch the taste and smell of Jesse on the flat of his
tongue. Slowly, slowly, warning Jesse of every move he made before he made it, he found his
way to the broken tab of Jesse’s zipper and drew it down, click by click. He wore soft-washed
jockey shorts beneath, skin-warm, ripe with his scent. When Daniel pressed his nose to the
cloth, Jesse’s cock jerked hard against his cheek.
The mark rising on Daniel’s wrist throbbed. Jesse flinched and took hold of his arm.
He’d felt that.
Good.
Daniel reached up without looking and caught Jesse’s wrist gently, gently and guided
his arm back down. He rubbed his thumb once over the faint embossed lines taking shape
over Jesse’s pulse, and pushed Jesse just that bit more firmly against the stone wall of the old
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folly. He could build them himself, and he could break them down, and he could find a way
out.
His hands were steady when he guided the tight stretch of cotton, damp and warm,
down Jesse’s hips, and they held Jesse as if he were made of glass and steel. They moved as if
without conscious instruction, letting want and need be their guide instead of neurons and
meat. This wasn’t how it should have been, but it was what they had.
Jesse threaded his fingers through Daniel’s hair. His chest shuddered with the force of a
long, long sigh.
Daniel took Jesse into his mouth and let Jesse breathe for both of them.
Oh—God. Jesse’s head struck the wall when he jerked in surprise, even if he’d known it
was coming. Struck it hard enough for the shock of pain to make him swear under his breath,
and to grip tighter at Darren’s hair.
Darren made a small, pleased noise and took Jesse deeper into his mouth.
Not everyone waited for their soulmate. Some did. Others figured practice made
perfect, and they enjoyed every chance to build up their skill set. Jesse hadn’t taken anyone
into his bed since the first awful failure, not long after he’d first come home. He didn’t like to
think about that night, when he’d realized just how deep the damage went.
But Darren… It was as if Darren knew all this, and didn’t care. Don’t worry about me,
he’d said. Let me worry about you.
He took Jesse’s cock into his mouth as if that were the single thing that mattered, and
oh…oh, God, oh…somehow, he made that true…
And every little bit better he got brought him closer to the day he’d be good enough to
find his soulmate. Their names were almost the same, he thought, tightening his hold on
Darren’s hair. Even if this man had almost nothing else in common with the brave kid he
remembered, their hair was the same, soft and dark. Soft.
“Just feel,” Darren said, a whisper hot against the crease of his thigh. “It’s okay. I
promise. Just feel.”
He could. God, so tight, so hot. Like nothing in—years. Like nothing forever. Darren’s
mouth…
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Jesse bit his lip to keep the groan behind his teeth, or tried to. It didn’t work. The noise
slipped out between his lips, low and animal.
Feel himself, Darren had said. But he’d rather feel Darren. Jesse rubbed his face against
his sleeve, as best as he could, and blinked his eyes clear to look down. Couldn’t see much
but the top of Darren’s head, blue-shining-black where the rare glimpse of light struck him.
That, and Jesse’s cock, dark and thick, glossy with spit, widest where Darren lingered and
lavished the most attention.
Jesse’s knuckles creaked. He had to be pulling too tight, but Darren didn’t complain. He
whispered soft things and soothing noises, and though he rocked his hips, he didn’t reach for
himself, not once. He burrowed his head against Jesse’s stomach and dragged the lightest
graze of teeth against Jesse’s hipbone. He wrapped his hand around Jesse’s cock and stroked
while he spoke those quiet words, and took Jesse deeper, faster, when he chose to be quiet.
Not quiet, though. Not really. The slick, slippery sound of lips and tongue echoed loud,
loud, against the stone walls of the folly. Blood rushed to Jesse’s head and galloped in his
ears. He’d dropped his head back without knowing it, the stones hard and unyielding when
he arched his neck. His face had gone hot, and his lips dry from the quick-fast rush of his
breath, but nothing burned so much as the gut-deep ache in his groin.
He wished they were in a bed together. Somewhere he could lay Darren out across a
mattress and see what he looked like with his clothes off. Where he’d been the one to take
them off, a stitch and a piece at a time, laying bare the smooth, dark skin to be kissed. He
could imagine it the way he hadn’t been able to in years. Could almost know, already, what
Darren would feel like stretched out beneath him, a cradle of his legs and a circle of his arms
both hot and hard and holding Jesse there as if he were the most wanted thing in the world.
Jesse shuddered as a wave of sensation nearly took him over the edge. Not yet, he
wanted to beg. More. Anything. Everything. Just more.
“Feel,” Darren ordered, lips on his cock. He dipped his head to take Jesse’s balls in his
mouth then back again, and off. “Feel this. Feel me.”
Jesse could. Too much. Not enough. He could feel it coming. Too fast, and for a moment
he wanted to pull out, catch his breath, make it last, but he couldn’t have stopped himself.
Years, it’d been. Years. He tugged Darren’s hair harder on purpose, warning him.
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Darren understood, he could tell, but he didn’t listen. He took Jesse by both hips and
held him still while Jesse choked on the knot of words and wants unfurling on his tongue.
Then Darren took Jesse’s cock in hand and guided it across his face, cheekbones and chin, the
bridge of his nose, and under the dark tickling fan of his lashes, and back to the velvet flat of
his tongue—
And Jesse—
Daniel caught the spurts of cum, salty-thick, first on his lips then on his tongue. Heavy
stuff, rich as cream. He didn’t think Jesse was the sort of man who took frequent care of his
needs. Maybe he wasn’t able to find release on his own.
He’d feel bad, later, for being glad just then. Later, when he’d swallowed down every
drop Jesse had to give and more, when the memory of shudders and bitten-back gasps had
stopped echoing in his head.
Just then…Jesse belonged to him. No one and nothing but him.
“Shh,” he said, over and over as he licked his lips and gentled Jesse with lighter touches
to his hips and sides. His stomach and his groin cramped, wanting their share. Daniel didn’t
dare to even try. One touch and he’d go off like a cork drawn from a bottle, but he didn’t
matter just then. Jesse did. “Shh, shh, shh.”
He waited for Jesse’s breathing to even out, deeper and more regular, before he pushed
himself to his feet. Then and only then, did he brush his lips across Jesse’s one more time.
The last thing he’d expected was Jesse’s arm going strong and firm around his waist, or
Jesse locking him where he stood, or Jesse pushing a hand behind his head to hold him
steady so he could deepen the kiss just as he liked…but that was what he got. Daniel
moaned, his knees unlocking, shocked and relieved in equal parts when Jesse pulled him
roundabout so his back met the wall, and the folly held him up.
Jesse kissed as if he’d been starved for touch for years. He had, Daniel realized. How
lonely that must have been. He was ready for it when Jesse broke the kiss to drop his head
hard on Daniel’s shoulder, forehead tight to the curve of Daniel’s neck. “It’s all right,” he
soothed, brushing back Jesse’s hair. Softer than he’d imagined.
My mate, mine, in my arms. Finally.
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Daniel held Jesse with the left side of his body, and turned his right forearm so the wrist
faced him. He could see the mark now. Still had a ways to go before it turned as dark and
bold as ink, but the shape was making itself clear. Almost Egyptian in design. A divided
circle, with figure eights woven through it.
Jesse exhaled a hard shudder against Daniel’s shoulder. “I didn’t…” he started. “I did. I
felt that.”
“I noticed,” Daniel said, pressing a kiss to Jesse’s temple. He hesitated, tapping his
tongue against his teeth then made his choice. He took Jesse’s wrist and turned it face up,
same as he’d done with his a moment before.
Outside, the clouds covering the moon had begun to roll back, the rain not quite
finished but coming close. Enough light for Daniel to see by, even if he couldn’t have told for
sure by touch that the same mark, a mirror match of his own, showed dark and true on
Jesse’s wrist.
Daniel pressed over the mark with his thumb. “You felt that,” he said against Jesse’s
hair as he stroked the faint embossed lines. “I knew you would. And it’ll get better from here
on, I promise. You’ll be all right.”
Jesse lifted his head. Up close, his ordinary hazel eyes had sparks of green and gold
around the swelling blackness of his pupils. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s okay,” Daniel soothed. “You will. Lean up for a second, let me—” He managed to
slip a hand into his hip pocket, where he’d carried the leather case for years. It had more
scratches than it had unmarred surface area, but it did the job.
He flicked the catch open with thumb and forefinger and worked the pair of boy’s
spectacles out, then let the case fall. “I told you,” he said, sliding the glasses up his nose, not
minding how the earpiece caught in his hair and set them askew. “I told you I’d take care of
you.”
Jesse frowned. Confusion had drawn his eyebrows together in a severe line that
changed his face. He moved his lips as if reading Daniel the way he’d puzzle out a sign on
the wall, but he didn’t truly comprehend—Daniel thought—until he’d reached with
trembling fingers to settle the glasses straight on Daniel’s nose.
Daniel didn’t need the glasses to see, or to hide behind. He’d replaced the lenses with
clear plastic a while back.
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He would have been happier if he’d left them as-is. If all he’d been able to see was a
blur, he’d have missed the emotions flashing across Jesse’s face. Confusion. Shock. Dismay.
“Daniel. You’re Daniel, not Darren,” Jesse said, the words falling heavy and ugly as
pitch and crow feathers. “No. No, no, no.”
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Chapter Three
“Jesse—” Daniel started, trying to reach for the man. Impulse, instinct. A rose by any
other name, and one that bore more than its share of thorns.
“Don’t.” Jesse jerked away from him, back flat against the stone wall. He pressed one
arm to his chest, over his stomach. The left arm. His right arm hung down and away. Not
even his subconscious could bear to have the mark one inch closer than it had to be. He
licked his lips. His eyes were too wide, barely blinking. “Don’t.”
Daniel stuffed down the ragged edge of frustration and anger. “I told you I’d come for
you, Jesse. I told you I’d take care of you.”
“And I—” Jesse bore down hard on his lip, teeth making white dents against the soft
flesh. He jerked his pants back up and fastened them with shaking hands. “You shouldn’t
have come.”
The sting of that snapped cruel and sharp in Daniel’s chest. “Now where have I heard
that before?” he said with a harshness unlike himself, knowing as much but not able to stop.
“I want to help you.”
“Then stay away from me. Why couldn’t you just do that one thing, and stay away—”
Jesse dodged Daniel’s outstretched hand. His stumble to the side put him in the open
doorway. He nearly tripped over Dog, who rose up with a whine of worry. “Why did you
have to—?”
“Because you’re my mate. What else could I do?” Daniel kept his hands to himself. Not
easy. “You didn’t seem to mind someone who wasn’t your mate a minute ago.”
Insult met injury and might as well have torn a bloody furrow through Jesse. What little
color he had to spare leached from his skin.
“I’m sorry,” Daniel started to say. He didn’t get far. “Don’t run away. Jesse!”
Too late. Jesse turned his back and took off at a gallop. He moved faster than Daniel
would have thought him capable of, again. Dog loped at his heels, whining as he ran and
looked back at Daniel. He tried to dodge in front of Jesse, who didn’t even seem to notice
him. Too hell-bent on getting out of there.
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“Jesse,” Daniel shouted after him. “Jesse!”
* * * *
Caught. He knows everything, now. Everything I didn’t want him to ever find out.
The distance between clock tower and tavern was short enough to measure in steps, not
yards, but Jesse’s fingers and toes had gone numb by the end of the trek. He couldn’t
remember running, though he knew he must have done. Dog pressed his solid weight
against Jesse’s legs. For once he didn’t bark or wag his tail. He looked up at Jesse as if
expecting an explanation.
“Good luck there,” Jesse told Dog. He could feel the cold as easily as he could sense
Daniel not far behind him. Still at the clock tower, he thought, and could have proven it if
he’d turned to look over his shoulder.
Dog leaned into Jesse’s hand and whined softly. Jesse scratched the top of that sturdy
head. Just as soft and silky as he’d been told. How about that?
But Daniel had had no right. None.
He had every right, a voice whispered in the back of Jesse’s mind. A soulmate’s right.
Jesse blocked his ears, shivered with the cold and dug for the key he knew he must
have tucked away, even if he couldn’t remember that, either. His head had gone to pieces.
For once Dog didn’t help. He thrust his muzzle, cold and wet, under Jesse’s hand, snuffling
and licking at the mark on Jesse’s wrist.
“Stop it, Dog,” Jesse said, shoving him back. “Dog, stop.” There. The right set of keys.
Finally. It took him three tries to find the specific key he wanted on the ring and slot it in the
lock. Not exactly stealthy, though he hoped the tavern might still be noisy enough to slip
under the radar.
As if.
When Jesse finally pushed the door open, he had company. Cade stood where he had
been before—in the middle of wrapping fresh-washed silverware in napkins, by the look of
it—with one eyebrow cocked at a steep and curious angle. “So,” he started in the devil-may-
care way he had that made Jesse want, for one sharp, shining moment, to punch him, “I’m
guessing World War III?”
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Jesse had heard the Hart and Hound’s back passageways kept the chill of winter
halfway through summer. He’d taken their word for it. Now, wet through to the skin with
rain and shock, his teeth chattered. “What?”
“The way you battered your way through the door, I figured it had to be either war or
hellhounds chasing you in from the outside. Either that, or a tsunami,” Cade said. He bent
from the waist to dig in the bin of fresh linens, chose a towel then tossed it down the corridor
with an easy overhand throw. “You’re soaked, though I expect you did notice that. Dry off
before you catch a cold.”
Jesse caught the towel in his right hand without thinking. He held the fistful of terry
upraised, arm in front of his face, knowing his new soulmark was exposed but be damned if
he could lower the thing.
Cade’s second eyebrow shot up to join the first in twin, startled arches. “That’s new,” he
said. “Normally, I’d go for the congratulations—”
“Don’t,” Jesse said. “Just don’t.”
Dog yipped like a puppy and planted both muddy forepaws on Jesse’s chest. He loosed
a loud, joyous bark that jarred Jesse’s teeth and made his ears ring. “Dog, I said stop!” He
pushed Dog down, not gently, and regretted it in the next second when Dog shot him a
deeply wounded look and bolted away, past Cade and into the tavern proper. “Damn it!”
Cade craned to look over his shoulder. “He didn’t go far. Just to the bartender’s station,
under the taps. Smart dog.” He turned back to eye Jesse. “Asking if you’re all right would go
down as one of the all-time most stupid questions in the world, wouldn’t it?”
Jesse rubbed at his face and didn’t answer.
Cade made a thoughtful sound. He picked up the napery he’d set aside, deftly rolling
the serviette together. “Use that towel, would you? Make it worth the price you paid. Though
I know you’re not supposed to be back here tonight. Helena said she’d have my head on a
platter if I let you sneak in instead of going home to rest when you needed a break.”
Maybe so, but Jesse couldn’t go home. Wouldn’t. All he’d manage there would be, at
best, staring at the walls and jumping at the sound of every passing car. If he didn’t have
something normal to do he’d lose his mind for good, Jesse swore to God he would.
“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Jesse said shortly. He rubbed at his hair with the towel,
soulmark turned in.
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“Head. Platter,” Cade repeated, though he frowned as if questioning the edict.
Jesse hoped so, anyway.
“I need to stay on her good side.”
Jesse could wonder why, but he had no room left to care, neither in head or heart. He
looked at Cade, trying to find a level with the man. “And?”
“God almighty.” Cade snorted. “You’d stay no matter what, wouldn’t you? Ah, what
the hell. Last call’s a good four hours away and if the choice is between you looking like you
got back from the wars five minutes ago instead of five or so years, then far be it from me.
Knives and forks are here, napkins are there. Knock yourself out. I’ll keep an eye on your
furry friend.”
Jesse nodded stiffly, and waited for Cade to back away before he approached the
workstation. Arm’s reach of—anyone—would have been too close for comfort, and wasn’t
that a marvel? Jesse thought, dark in his humor. The nagging headache that’d lifted while he
loitered in the clock tower with Daniel threatened to make a return appearance even though
the storm had passed.
Nothing helped the headaches. Not even the strongest medication doctors had been
willing to prescribe. Jesse had long since stopped bothering. Five minutes with Daniel, and
away went the pounding pain like a wisp of cloud on the north wind.
What a fool he’d been not to notice.
At least one good thing had come of this, he thought, taking up the job where Cade had
left off. He’d know right away if Daniel came back. Which he would. Just a matter of time…
* * * *
And what now?
Grass crumpled and sodden earth squelched beneath Daniel’s step. When he looked up
he saw the skies had cleared, dark clouds sweeping back away from indigo heavens studded
with stars, and the air smelled cleaner than before. Crisper. Cooler, too. The chill left behind
bit at Daniel’s bared forearms.
He rolled the sleeves down one at a time, then took off his glasses and hung them from
his collar by one earpiece.
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What now?
Ask himself though he might, Daniel couldn’t come up with an answer. He clumped
forward one step at a time, making for a park bench not too far away. It’d be wet, but he
hadn’t been able to bear staying in the clock tower another minute, smelling of sex and
dashed hopes as it did.
Well, what had he expected? Daniel lowered himself to the bench—slick with cold
water, just as he’d figured—and put his head in his hands. Seen up close, the soulmark
reminded him afresh of hieroglyphs and tattoos. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen one quite so
dark or bold as theirs. When he touched his nose to the soulmark, he could feel the raised
nature of the lines almost like a brand, or a burn scar, and he could smell the faint fragrance
of hops and clean male skin Jesse had left behind. He could almost smell the sea and the
coffee in that diner where they’d met when they were both young and stupid.
Not as young anymore. Maybe twice as stupid. Daniel rubbed his wrist. Hieroglyphs.
Great. So where was their Rosetta Stone?
A dog barked in Daniel’s ear.
“Jesus!” Daniel dropped his hands in his surprise. The dog—no, Dog—jumped onto the
bench beside Daniel and battered him with the fringed and mud-sodden whip of his tail. He
nosed at Daniel’s new soulmark as if he were trying to burrow under the skin for a better
look. “Where did you come from?”
Not from Jesse, that much was certain. Daniel looked around just in case, but no.
Daniel took Dog by the collar and held him back. “Ran away, didn’t you?”
Dog didn’t seem inclined to answer.
“Not smart.” Daniel took a better hold on Dog’s collar just in case Dog meant to run off
again. “What were you thinking? Jesse’s going to flip out if he realizes you’ve gone missing.”
Dog cocked his head at Daniel then sat, his form behavior-training perfect. He whined
quietly, but nothing more.
Daniel scratched under Dog’s chin. Dog looked slightly askance at him, but allowed the
touch then poked his nose under Daniel’s wrist and licked. “At least you like it,” Daniel
murmured. He exhaled as he stood, letting one sort of tension drain away to make room for
the next. A snap of the fingers brought Dog off the bench and to him, where he looked up in
quizzical patience. “Heel.”
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Dog didn’t seem to know what that one meant. He did follow, though, when Daniel
gestured him into a walk. Jesse would lose his mind if he knew Dog had gone AWOL. The
last thing Daniel needed was the struggle to explain he hadn’t kidnapped Dog on purpose.
Back to the tavern, then.
Not what he’d meant to do next, but Daniel wondered if maybe it was long past time he
learned to temper his expectations.
For all his rambunctious ways, it would seem Dog could behave when it suited him.
Aside from a few wet nose-bumps to the knee when Daniel moved too slowly for his liking,
the old hound trotted beside him as meekly as a lamb. Every so often, Daniel rested his palm
on the sturdy dog. Even if Jesse couldn’t use his senses properly to feel the animal’s warmth,
he wasn’t surprised at Jesse’s habit of making Dog his touchstone. There was something to
the sturdy patience of the canine that steadied Daniel’s frayed nerves.
Enough so that, instead of heading around back to the staff door as he’d planned,
Daniel made for the Hart and Hound’s main entrance instead.
Inside, the sheer warmth of the place and a hundred different scents crashed over Daniel
in a tidal wave. Like stepping into a sauna with fir and balsam and the ghost of coconut
sunscreen, the Hart and Hound had that same dull heaviness of atmosphere, redolent here
with beer and burgers and leather. Daniel stopped as the doors shut behind him and almost
swayed on his feet.
Dog crowded beside him. Just in case, he guessed.
Not many people remained in the tavern. Curse of the weeknights, that’d be, at least in
a little village like this. The last ones left behind were the serious-business drinkers who
cocked a glance at Daniel, then ignored him.
Well. Them and the bartender, his erstwhile waiter wearing a new apron and a clean
shirt. A tall man with dark hair and a wicked glint in his eye that turned guilty as seven
shades of hell when he lit upon Daniel and Dog. “Oh, fuck me.”
“No thanks,” Daniel said. He clicked his tongue to Dog, who padded forward. The
tavern was quiet enough to hear the click-click-click of his nails on the flagstones. He sat by
one of the stools bellied up to the bar and sneezed. “That his usual spot?”
“I have no idea. Have a seat, though, if you want.” The bartender lowered his voice. “I
thought he’d gone back to—back to the storeroom. Fuck, do I owe you. Beer’s on the house.”
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“I know he’s Jesse’s dog,” Daniel said.
The bartender didn’t bat an eye. “Then you know exactly how much trouble I’d be in if
Jesse knew I’d let his buddy pull a Steve McQueen and break from Alcatraz while he had his
back turned.”
“He is here, then?”
Not even a flicker of an eyelash from the bartender. “I didn’t say that. What’s your
choice?”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Exhaustion, both mind and body, made Daniel feel
slow and stupid. A beer couldn’t help, but it might not hurt. Who knew? He lifted himself
onto the high stool and crossed his arms loosely on the bar top. “Whatever you’ve got that’s
too dark to see through.”
“That, I can tell you we have here,” the bartender replied. “I’m Cade, by the way.”
Daniel nodded. He scratched at a dry slash of mud on his cheek, studying the man. He
seemed oddly familiar now that Daniel took a decent look at him, but not in any significant
manner. He doubted he’d have forgotten a cheeky face like that one. “So you can’t tell me
Jesse’s here. Even if I know.”
“Not a word.”
Which might have been confirmation. Then again, it might not have been. Daniel
watched Cade pull a draft of Guinness with a thick, creamy head, and caught the tall glass
when Cade pushed it toward him with a little too much spin. “Careful.”
“So you say,” Cade replied. “Might want to practice what you preach.”
Dull heat burned in Daniel’s cheeks when he glanced down to see he’d caught the glass
with the wrist that bore his soulmark. “You did that on purpose.”
“Sure did.”
Daniel’s mouth opened and closed. “Why?”
“Purely to satisfy my own curiosity.”
“Try again.”
“That’s true enough, as far as it goes. I’m nosy as hell. Ask anyone.”
Daniel pushed the Guinness away and turned his wrist facing up, soulmark bared.
“Take a better look, if you want.”
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“I’m good, thanks. I’ve got the pooch’s leash back here. Want to leave him and try your
luck tomorrow?”
“Not really, no,” Daniel said. He pushed the beer back at Cade. “Sorry to waste it.”
“You’re better off, you know.”
Daniel looked up more sharply. “Say that again?”
“I said, you’re better off.” Cade sipped at the discarded Guinness. “What? You don’t
want it, and I’m not going to waste it. And you’re better off without him, soulmate or not.
For that matter, he’s better off without you.”
The nature of the building heat in Daniel’s face changed from shame to something
much, much fiercer. “You know nothing about him. Or me. Keep your opinions to yourself.”
“Mmm…no. Don’t think I will.” Cade grinned, bold and brazen. “Trust me. I’ve seen
some matches made in hell before. My best guess? That’d be one of them. He’s broken, and
you don’t look like a Mr Fix-It to me.”
“Maybe not.” Daniel’s ears prickled. He wanted to bare his teeth. “That doesn’t mean
I’m going to quit now.”
“Aren’t you?” Cade tipped the beer back and gave himself a foam mustache. “If you
don’t agree, feel free to prove me wrong. Be my guest.”
“You…” Daniel narrowed his eyes. “You’re not subtle.”
Cade laughed. “Nope, not even a little. I am, however, well-experienced when it comes
to dealing with stubborn asses. I have an older brother, and the stories I could tell you…” He
whistled and jerked a thumb at the galley hatch that led back to the kitchen.
Jesse stood in frame, watching Daniel. Motionless, with no way to tell how long he’d
been there.
Daniel tipped his head to one side, suggesting the front door.
Jesse responded with a frown, and a gesture toward the back of the kitchen.
“Would you look at that? More glasses to clean,” Cade said, deliberately—or so Daniel
thought—turning his back on them. “Swear to God, there must be something in the water
lately,” he muttered as if to himself.
Daniel would have asked what he meant, but Jesse had disappeared from the window,
and he had more important things to do.
Where Jesse went, Daniel would follow. He couldn’t help it. He was who he was.
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And so was Jesse…
* * * *
Jesse knelt on the cold flagstones—so cold, bone-achingly cold—and pressed his face to
the warm, rough-soft fur he usually scruffed in more playful moments with Dog. Dog,
unashamed of having scared him half to death, wagged his tail and wriggled around, trying
to lick Jesse’s hand.
He heard Daniel’s footstep on the stones, and knew who it was. He always would
know, now.
“I knew you wouldn’t listen,” he said before Daniel could speak. “That’s what you do,
isn’t it? What you’re not supposed to.”
“You did too, once upon a time. I never bought that whole ‘I went to a Finder on a
whim’ thing, you know.” Daniel came closer. Careful to keep his distance, but not holding
back altogether. “They cost enough that no one does that on impulse. You wanted to find
someone to love.” He went silent. “Am I that much of a disappointment?”
The naked hurt in his voice made Jesse look up in surprise. Jesse put one arm around
Dog. “You think that’s…”
“What else am I supposed to think?” Daniel’s color had gone high and hot, and anger
made his eyes look almost blue. Soft dark hair fell around his face, begging for a touch.
“Well? Go on. Tell me.”
Jesse’s tongue had gone heavy and numb. He shook his head, helpless, and knew he
shouldn’t have done so. The ache in his temples receded somewhat with Daniel so near, but
it hadn’t disappeared, and moving so quickly made his stomach flip.
But that’s not why, Daniel. That’s not it at all. It never had been—
But maybe if he thought so, then…
But he wasn’t paying attention. “Do you know why I came here in the first place?”
Daniel asked.
Jesse still couldn’t speak. His wrist itched with a sudden near-fury that made him bite
his cheek.
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“Because I wanted closure,” Daniel said with a snap. “I just wanted to know why.
That’s it. That’s all. To find out why you didn’t even want me to know you were alive. That’s
it. That’s all. The end. And then I’d go back to living like a widower.”
Jesse’s lips unlocked at that. “What?”
“Is it that surprising?” Daniel kept a measured distance between them. “I told you I’d
be faithful to you, and I was. Were you?”
Shame made Jesse’s stomach tighten into a harder knot. “I didn’t know.”
“And then I came here. And I looked at you, and God help me, I wanted you.” Daniel
rubbed his mouth. “Did you ever think about me, Jesse? Even once?”
Jesse would have sworn he felt something snap in his head, the fine thinness of a blood
vessel going pop. “Don’t want you?” He stood, pushing himself to his feet by using the wall
for leverage. “Don’t want you? Are you joking?” His head throbbed. “I want you in ways you
can’t imagine and believe me or don’t but I always have. Always. I want to strip you naked
and spread your legs and make you come with my mouth. I used to dream about it.”
Daniel had fallen silent. He looked stunned.
“Don’t talk to me about want,” Jesse said. “The things I want to do to you—”
“Then why?” Daniel came closer. Too close. Jesse could have shut his eyes and felt the
outline of Daniel’s aura in total blackness. “That’s all I want to know. Tell me that, and I’ll go.
I swear it. Just. Why?”
“Because—” Jesse clamped his mouth shut. “You shouldn’t have come. You shouldn’t
have come. It isn’t time yet. I wanted—I—”
The crash seemed to come from nowhere, violent and all-consuming, breaking the air
into sharp splinters. Daniel jumped half out of his skin, but even now, even now he put
himself between Jesse and the danger.
It’s just breaking glass, Jesse’s mind told him, but only a very small part of it. Or a
breaking mirror. That’s all.
Even so. Memories rose up in red-hot protest, and—
The world went dark.
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Chapter Four
Jesse woke cocooned in warmth.
He lay on his side, half-buried in the soft give of mattress below and blanket above,
warmer at his front than his back. The quiet sounds of deep-sleep breathing brushed at his
ears, matched to the rise and fall of a man’s chest beneath his hand. Jesse shifted, moving his
head on the pillow that seemed softer and fatter than he remembered, and bumped against
the head of the man who slept curled up against him. He’d draped one arm over the man’s
chest, and their feet had tangled together while they slept.
Jostling his head should have hurt more than it did. Jesse freed his arm from the
blankets and reached to prod at the tousled hair and sleep-warm skin and the skull beneath
them. No pain. Quiet warmth instead. Soothing silence.
Jesse bent his head forward, more careful this time, and touched the tip of his nose to
the man’s ear. Small ear. Soft, dark hair.
“Tickles,” the man said.
No, not ‘the man’. Daniel. Jesse let go of the tension in his shoulders. Of course. Daniel.
He stirred, tucking his chin down. “Jesse?”
“Shh. Go back to sleep.” Jesse nestled his head on the pillow, forehead to crown with
Daniel. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Awake now,” Daniel murmured. He started to stir, and no, that wouldn’t do.
Jesse pressed down harder with the arm that covered him. He could feel the pulse more
strongly in the wrist that bore his soulmark, and stronger still when he found Daniel’s hand
and wrapped his own around it.
Daniel stilled. “Jesse? What are you—?”
Jesse nudged him in the side. “Lie down. Don’t want to get up yet.” He smoothed his
palm across Daniel’s hand when it splayed wide over Daniel’s stomach. “Better.” The soft
skin at Daniel’s nape smelled of shampoo and rain, and tasted of salt when he brushed his
lips across it.
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He heard Daniel sigh, a long and shuddering sound. Sweet Daniel. Pretty Daniel. Jesse
nuzzled deeper and moved lower, tracing the sinews of Daniel’s neck and shoulder with his
parted lips. He had two tastes. One of salt and man, one of comfort and peace. Four tastes,
then.
Jesse wanted more.
The slow-kindling burn of arousal ached heavy in his groin. Had he woken that way?
He couldn’t remember his dreams. He didn’t think he’d had any in the midst of the calm
darkness. Daniel fitted in his arms as if they’d been made to lie like this, with Daniel’s back
against his front, shoulders to chest, hips to hips. Jesse moved his leg forward and hooked
Daniel’s ankle, pulling them closer together.
Daniel’s breath broke on a startled inhale. He could hear the quiet susurrus of Daniel
touching his tongue to his lips.
Good. But not good enough. Jesse wanted more. He spread his fingers as wide as they
would go and laid them flat on Daniel’s stomach. Slowly, slowly, he skimmed his palm
down over the nub of a navel and a line of crisp hair that arrowed to the thicker thatch
below. Daniel jolted up when Jesse wrapped that hand around the straining fullness of his
cock.
Jesse chuckled against Daniel’s nape. “Good morning to you, too.”
“Jesse…” Daniel tried to pull away with his torso, but his hips pushed back against
Jesse and forward into Jesse’s hand. Tension rippled and flashed in his muscles. “Are you
dreaming?”
“No.” Jesse tested the edge of his teeth against Daniel’s neck. Not a bite. Just a light
scrape. Or…now that Daniel mentioned it… “Maybe.” He moved so that he had his knee
locked over Daniel’s, not just his ankle. “Don’t know. Doesn’t matter.” With one thumb, he
swiped away the sticky-thick slickness pearling up and spread it down the length of Daniel’s
cock, and laughed again when Daniel’s quiet breath went ragged. “My head doesn’t hurt.”
“No. I guess it wouldn’t.” Daniel took Jesse’s hand and pressed their wrists together.
“Where do you think you are, Jesse?”
“Home,” Jesse answered, wondering why Daniel would ask. “Home with you.”
Daniel let go of Jesse’s hand and pressed it to his face. “Jesse…”
Jesse touched a fingertip to Daniel’s lips. “It’s okay. It’s all okay.”
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“Soulmark drunk,” Daniel murmured. He shook his head, his hair making a soft swish
on the pillow—then jerked hard, with a broken curse, when Jesse moved his hand in a slow
stroke up and down Daniel’s cock. “Oh God. You…”
“Love you,” Jesse said against the small shell of Daniel’s ear. And why not? It was true.
He’d loved Daniel since the brave brat had come to see him against all orders. Smart,
tough…everything Jesse could have wanted. All he dreamed of at night. “Love you, Daniel.”
He took Daniel’s earlobe between his teeth and nibbled. “Like you love me.”
“Jesse.” Daniel pushed his hand away. He turned before Jesse could stop him,
wriggling around to lie so his chest touched Jesse’s. He stroked lightly at Jesse’s face. “Who
am I? Tell me that.”
“Soulmate.” Why did he ask? Didn’t he know? “My soulmate.”
“I thought you’d say that.” Daniel let out his breath in a long, slow sound. “You’re not
awake. You’re still asleep.”
Jesse didn’t mind lying face-to-face. He slipped his hand down between them. “Feels
awake to me.”
“Not like this.” Daniel groaned through gritted teeth and took Jesse’s wrist in a hard
grip that hurt. “Wake up, Jesse. Open your eyes and wake up.”
Jesse blinked.
He saw Daniel, and—
And—
Oh God.
Daniel watched him through half-closed eyes. The pillow swallowed part of his face,
and his hair fell forward to nearly cover the rest, but Jesse saw him clearly just the same.
“There you are,” Daniel said, still hard against him, but keeping back, holding himself
away. “You were dreaming, Jesse. I hope it was a good dream, but it’s time to wake up now.”
And if he ever knew what that had cost Daniel to say no to…
But not like this. Not when Jesse couldn’t say yes or no. It’d be meaningless, and Daniel
had had his fill of empty nights. He swung his legs over the edge of the cot and stood with
his back to Jesse, giving him a moment.
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Though a moment might not be long enough. When he glanced over his shoulder, he
saw that Jesse had covered his face and pushed his head into the pillow. Daniel felt his
mouth tighten into a hard line, and it wasn’t the only thing hard about him. His balls ached
with a sullen throb, denied again.
Tough for them. Daniel took care to keep his hands away from anything south of the
waist, and tucked them under his armpits. He propped his hip against the side of a battered
old desk stacked high with invoices and flashy brochures, the detritus that accumulated in
any business. “Do you know where you are now?” he asked.
Jesse’s shoulders twitched. Daniel thought he wouldn’t answer until he heard Jesse’s
voice, muffled though it might be by the pillow. “No.”
As Daniel had thought. He itched to sit beside Jesse again and smooth the hair away
from his face, but managed—somehow—to restrain the urge. “We’re still at the tavern. It’s a
back room that used to be an office, and used to be storage, but I don’t think it’s used for
either anymore. Cade helped me bring you in here. I don’t know where he found the camp
bed. Do you remember any of this?”
Jesse shook his head once—no. “What happened?”
“I was hoping you could tell me.” Daniel stayed put despite the rising urge to go to
Jesse and make the pain disappear. Soulmate’s instincts, he knew, and hard as hell to deny.
“Cade dropped a tray of glasses. He says his hands were slippery from the soap he used
giving them a first wash. Made a hell of a noise, and you—dropped. Went down like you’d
been shot.” For a terrifying second, he’d thought that was exactly what’d happened. “When
you hit the floor, I thought you’d bashed your head in. But your eyes were open. I don’t
know where you went, just that it wasn’t here. So.” He took a deep breath. “Cade wanted to
take you back to your place. We changed our mind when we tried to lift you. You’re heavier
than you look.”
“And here we are,” Jesse said, still covering his face. “I thought you jumped in front of
me. Did that happen?”
“Mmm,” Daniel vocalized, meaning it as agreement. “I didn’t plan it out. Just
happened.”
“Like a soldier,” Jesse said. He dry-washed his face with the heel of one hand. “Did I
hurt you?”
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Daniel opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated. “When do you mean?”
A muffled, scoffing sound answered him. At least it got Jesse to open his eyes. He
blinked at Daniel, looking at once both as tired as an old man and as vulnerable as the new-
minted soldier Daniel had met on a sunny day once upon a time. “Just now. I know I hurt
you before. But did I…?” The faintest hint of red blossomed on his exposed cheek. He lifted
his chin. “I didn’t mean to.”
“You were dreaming. I know.” Daniel bounced his heel against the cold floor. Already,
the warmth he’d shared with Jesse while lying in bed together had faded, leaving him colder
than when he’d been soaked by the rain. “Dog’s asleep on his blanket out in the corridor,
before you ask. I tried to get him to come in, but he seemed to want to stand guard.”
“He would.” Jesse winced, but nodded. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. You know where you are now. Where did you go, when you
disappeared on me before?”
He saw in Jesse’s sudden stillness that here was a question Jesse didn’t want to answer.
Maybe enough that he wouldn’t answer. Fine. It wasn’t as if Daniel couldn’t guess. PTSD, and
a hell of a lot of repressed—everything.
Daniel knew better than to sit beside Jesse—he couldn’t trust himself that far again—
but went to one knee at the edge of the cot. Jesse exhaled. Tension bled away from him. As
Daniel had thought it would.
“How are you feeling now?” He flicked his fingertips at the worst of Jesse’s scars, the
starburst near his temple. “I know you have headaches. You told me yourself that you get
fuzzy. Any trouble with that right now?”
“No.” Jesse swallowed, a dry sound, and kept his gaze trained on Daniel. “You know
that, or you wouldn’t ask.”
“Fair enough.” Daniel laced his fingers together. He should move back, but… “You said
you were my soulmate,” he blurted. “You were holding me like you never wanted to let me
go.”
“I didn’t.” Jesse’s face had colored, but he held Daniel’s stare. “You could have let me
finish. Why didn’t you?”
Daniel sat back on his heel. “What?”
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“No, that’s not what I meant. Not like that.” Jesse pushed himself up to rest his weight
on one elbow. “I wouldn’t have known the difference.”
“I would have.”
Jesse stared at Daniel as if willing him to make sense. When Daniel said nothing, he sat
up fully. Still half-hard, Daniel noticed, though he doubted Jesse did. “I don’t understand. In
the clock tower…”
“I was trying to help you.” Daniel chafed the soulmark on his wrist. “I still am. And I’m
trying to learn from my mistakes. I can do that, if I put in the effort. Can you?”
Jesse lifted his head with the sharp jerk of a stung horse.
“I should have told you who I was at the start,” Daniel said. He’d meant to hold back
on the confession until they were both awake—and dressed, for God’s sake—but plans never
did seem to run smooth when it came to Jesse. “I know that now. Even if you ran away, I
could have run with you. I was trying to help, but I did it wrong. Maybe did us both more
harm than good.”
Jesse watched Daniel with wide, startled eyes, and said nothing.
Daniel pressed his palms together, prayer-fashion, and pressed the narrow sides to his
mouth. “So that’s my confession. But I can’t take back what I did. No more than you can.
‘And here we are’, like you said. I could have let you finish. I don’t want to ‘let you’. I want
to be with you, and you want to be with me. Lie, if you want. You don’t hurt when you’re
with me. You sense things you’ve been missing for years. And maybe you even like me a
little. You used to.”
“I…” Jesse worked his jaw. “I still do, Daniel. God. I just…”
“Just what, though?” Daniel dropped his hands and held them apart, palms up. “That’s
all I want you to tell me. Just. What. Because if you don’t, I can guess. I can tell you I think
you don’t want to be with me until you’re better, but that’s never going to happen on your
own.”
He could see that cut Jesse deep, and knew he’d put his finger on the pulse. So be it.
“I could guess that,” he said, slower now, “and you could walk away. Or you could let
me in, and I can help. Let me help you, Jesse. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
Are you brave enough, though?”
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Jesse’s eyes were too wide and too bright. He looked as if he’d been slapped in the face,
and it hurt to see that, but…good. Good. He needed to wake up, and not just from a happy
dream where everything was sweet and nothing hurt. That was just it, though. It was all a
dream.
Daniel was done with dreaming. He wanted the real thing, and Jesse did too. If he
didn’t, he wouldn’t be here. He’d have bolted from the camp bed as soon as he woke.
Wouldn’t have spoken to Daniel and asked him what and why and how.
Daniel had to believe that, in the real world.
He waited. Not forever, though. When he heard the sharper tick of a full minute
passing on the clock in the corner, he stood and took two steps back and away from the bed.
“I’m trying to help you now,” he said. “Whether you let me or not is up to you. If you choose
it, we could have a good life together. We could at least try. Or you can do nothing, and I can
go back where I came from tomorrow night.”
Jesse lost all the color he’d gained. “Daniel, no.”
“Then stop me,” Daniel said. It took all the strength he had not to let Jesse reach for
him, or to reach back. “I don’t want to leave you, but if that’s what it takes, I will. I spent
years waiting, Jesse, like you told me to. I’ve come after you three times. It’s your turn to
catch up, now.”
Daniel made himself turn his back on Jesse. It took all the strength he didn’t know he
had.
And more than that to walk out, leaving him behind. Praying he would follow.
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Chapter Five
Daniel pulled the heavy door closed behind him without waiting for Jesse to ask. Let
him have his privacy, and time to make up his mind. If he chose to come out…
Careful, now. Daniel tamped down the wisp of wishful thinking. What Jesse would do
now, he had no idea, and he wouldn’t guess. He’d laid down the gauntlet. Jesse’s move now.
Outside, he’d expected to see just the dark emptiness of a bar after business hours.
Places like that gave Daniel the creeps, so still and echoing, empty, when all a man’s life
experience insisted it should be otherwise. Probably did the same for everyone, giving them
a moment of wondering if they were the only person left in the world.
But not tonight. A pair of lamps still burned on either side of the bar. Cade loitered
behind it, looking more than half asleep but still gamely scrubbing the wood top with
something that smelled of clean, fresh lemons. Coffee burbled into a decanter somewhere
behind him that Daniel couldn’t see, adding its dark, hearty fragrance to the mix.
Cade glanced up at Daniel and tipped him a casual salute. “It lives! I didn’t expect to
see you before morning, unless you rolled out of that cot and broke your head. I doubt it was
made for two.”
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep. It isn’t morning now?” Daniel had picked up his sneakers
on the way out of the little storage room. He dropped them to the floor and toed his feet in.
His eyes were dry, but not as dry as his throat. “What time is it?”
“Getting on to five or so, I think,” Cade said with a shrug. He stretched his arms over
his head. A good-looking guy, Daniel thought absently. Not his type at all—he only had the
one type, and that was Jesse, in any shape or form—but easy on the eyes. He gave Cade as
quick a once-over as he could, still not spying a soulmark anywhere. “Coffee? If you want
tea, you’re out of luck. I never make that except when my baby brother Nathaniel whines for
it.”
Daniel found the stool he’d perched on earlier. Dark whimsy made him choose it again.
“Mmm.”
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“I’ll take that as a yes.” Cade hooked a thick ceramic mug from a shelf below the bar
and set to work pouring. “You’re also out of luck if you want anything to go in it.”
“I think I’ll live.”
“Odds are. So…how’s Jesse?”
From the higher vantage point, he could see Dog had changed stations, and now lay
fast asleep on a blanket under the taps. His legs paddled as he chased rabbits in his dreams.
Daniel chuckled despite himself. “Jesse is Jesse. Aside from that…”
“Heh! Sounds about right.” Cade poured himself a mug as well and leaned over the
bar. “Before you ask, I’m not hanging out because I’m worried about him or anything.”
“Heaven forbid,” Daniel murmured.
Cade swatted-and-missed at Daniel. “Nope. I’m doing penance.”
Daniel cocked an eyebrow. Not what he’d expected to hear, exactly. “Penance for
what?”
“Oh, this and that.” Cade rocked one hand to and fro. He sipped at his coffee, made a
face, and kicked back in a lean against the bar. His eyes were sleepy, but they didn’t fool
Daniel. He knew the type. There would be more than enough native cunning going on in that
brain to outfox a chess master. “I’m the worst cook you’re likely to come across, for one
thing.”
Daniel propped his chin on one hand. He glanced back at the hallway where he’d left
Jesse, hoping against hope…but nothing came of it. Because Cade wanted him to, he asked,
“Then why are you here?”
“So glad you asked.” Cade raised his mug. “I’ve been hunting for my brother’s
soulmate.”
Daniel’s frown deepened. “I don’t understand.”
Cade shrugged. “What’s to understand? My brother has a soulmate. I know that. I got a
peek at his soulmark once. But he won’t tell me who his mate is. Not even so much as a
name. Honestly, I ask you. It’s almost as if he knows I’d hunt them down and give them the
third degree. Possibly put the fear of God in them in case they should ever think about
putting a foot out of line when it comes to Nathaniel.”
Daniel chuckled a second time. “God help Nathaniel, then.”
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“He’s done a fine job of keeping secrets so far, I’ll tell you that.” Cade went briefly
serious. Enough so that Daniel spared a wince for whomever Nathaniel’s mate might be. If
they failed to treat Cade’s brother in anything less than a princely manner, he had no doubt
Cade would use their head as a football. “And I don’t like that. The road to true love never
did run smooth, and I’ve seen for myself how it fucks with people’s lives.”
True. Daniel drank from his fast-cooling mug. It wasn’t as bad as Cade made out. A
little bitter, but it had a smooth finish.
Cade drained his cup and set it aside with a noisy clunk. “Which puts me right about on
par with you, from what I can tell.” He ignored Daniel’s reflexive bristling. “But see, I’m not
going to let that stop me. Are you?”
Daniel regarded Cade steadily and with a straight face. “I changed my mind. God help
whoever your soulmate might be.”
Cade had a surprisingly rich laugh. “Don’t I know it?”
“At least you’ve got that going for you.” Daniel finished his coffee and pushed the mug
aside in the same direction Cade had sent his. “Okay. You have an answer for everything.
One more question?”
“Maybe. Depends on what you’re asking, but you’re welcome to try your luck.”
“Fair enough.” Daniel cast one more longing look down the corridor, wishing he could
at least see the door. He could feel Jesse’s presence inside. If he closed his eyes, he could
almost see the tangled mess of raw nerves and frayed edges in Jesse’s aura, like a ball of yarn
after a dozen cats had had their way with it. No wonder he was a dog person. He wanted to
help, still. Always. But… “If you were me, what would you do?”
Cade snorted. “For one? Not ask stupid questions. Or questions you already know the
answer to.” He thumped Daniel’s shoulder almost companionably. “Go on, get out of here
and take a breather. I’m going to shut this place down and get a nap before the next round
starts.”
* * * *
Jesse didn’t know how long he spent sat on the edge of the camp bed, head in his
hands, after Daniel had slipped out. Though Daniel had closed the door, he hadn’t known to
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turn the latch to stop it from sliding open a half-inch once he’d turned his back. Old building,
old doors. Images of old keys and old locks swam through Jesse’s head as he caught the scent
of brewing coffee, and the faint murmur of Cade and Daniel trading friendly fire.
He found himself almost smiling. Cade and Daniel couldn’t be more different if they
tried, and yet they got along. Daniel deserved someone like that, he thought. Someone who’d
shake him up and keep him on his toes. Not a broken, battered old…
But he was the one Daniel wanted. Stubborn. God, so stubborn. Jesse massaged his
temples. And not wrong. A hint of headache threatened. Not as bad as it could be, with Daniel
still in earshot. He did feel better with Daniel around. He felt. And it almost made him want
to say yes. But how would that work? Should he take a folding chair and a packed lunch and
sit by the side of the road while Daniel sweated for a living? How was that fair?
No. If he looked at it one way, there was but the single right thing to do. It’d hurt, same
as always, every other time he’d tried to do the right thing. And it was right. Jesse knew it.
Except for how this time—as ever, as always—it felt like the wrongest thing ever.
Jesse dug his fingers into his hair and growled.
Outside, Daniel and Cade fell silent. He heard the squeak of the main door to the
tavern—that’d be Daniel, leaving. For good? Jesse’s pulse quickened. He shook off the brisk
spark of panic. He wouldn’t hit the road just yet. If nothing else, Daniel was a man of his
word. He’d leave Sunday, and not before. Maybe he had a room in one of the boarding
houses.
Quiet fell in a thick, muffling blanket. Jesse’s ears rung with the barren silence. Cade
must have gone with him, or bunked down behind the bar on another cot. Jesse wouldn’t put
it past him.
But if everyone was away or asleep, then…
Jesse didn’t own a cell phone. He’d tried one of the pay-as-you-go models, but who
ever called him? Who would he call? On the rare occasions he needed to touch base with
anyone, he borrowed the use of the tavern’s landline. The one that sat on the retired desk
opposite.
Hell. If he didn’t give in, he’d spend the next hours—days—wishing he had. Jesse sat up
straight, though his muscles protested and his joints creaked, and stretched from cot to desk.
He had long arms, and they’d built these rooms small back in the day. He could manage. He
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dialed a number from memory, though he’d never called it before, and closed his eyes again
as he listened to the odd buzzing of a rural connection.
One ring. Two. Three. Did landlines go to voice mail? God, but he was out of touch.
Most things hadn’t seemed to matter enough to learn about before Daniel…
“Hello?”
Jesse hadn’t heard the voice in years, but he’d have recognized it in a dark alley at
midnight. Blindfolded. He sat heavily on the bed and pressed his knuckles to his forehead.
“You’re a fucking asshole, Abram.”
Laughter, quiet and deep, rippled against his ear. “It’s barely five a.m. I should be the
one calling names.”
At least he didn’t say it was a surprise to hear from Jesse. “You told him, didn’t you?
You’re the one who let Daniel know where I was.”
“You’re damned right I am,” came the immediate reply.
“Why?” Jesse dug the knuckles harder against his head. “You knew he’d come. I told
you so many stories about him back in the day, you had to know the first thing he’d do is
hotfoot it up here.”
“I hoped he would.” A pause, then a sigh. “I take it things haven’t worked out
according to plan. Did he find you, at least?”
“He did. And he…” Jesse stopped there. Not by choice. His voice simply gave out, and
he had to finish his thought with a heavy gust of breath.
“I see.” Abram fell quiet. Jesse could imagine him far more clearly now than he ever
had since they’d parted ways. Tall as a grizzly, dark as bittersweet chocolate, bald as a cue
ball on top and broad as a barn through the shoulders—and the worst devil for mischief ever
to walk the face of the earth. Cade could take lessons from him.
And, even so, one of the kindest men alive. Jesse could have socked him in the nose for
telling Daniel where to find him, but he must have done it for a reason. Just…
“Why?” he asked, barely aloud. His eyes smarted and stung.
Abram cleared his throat. “I could be a smartass and answer back by telling you ‘why’
is Daniel’s question, not yours, but I suppose it’s fair enough. Do you know why I went into
the armed forces?”
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Jesse knew Abram couldn’t see him shake his head. He managed a noncommittal noise
instead.
“Not for a particularly noble reason, like yours. Nor was I running away from anything,
not that you didn’t have good cause to put as much space between you and your stepfather
as possible. It was because I’d heard a story when I was just a kid, about how the first
intercontinental treaties were formed. Do you know why?”
Again, Jesse tried to indicate he did not, and to hint at wondering what the hell Abram
was getting at. In the silence, Jesse caught the quiet clicking of Dog’s nails over the flagstones
outside, then the creak of the door as he shouldered his way through. Without looking, Jesse
knew when Dog was close enough to rest his hand on the animal’s sturdy noggin.
“Because the world was changing,” Abram said. “With more people being born, you’d
think it would be easier than ever to find your soulmate, but they started to spread out, you
see? A thousand years ago, it’d be pretty standard practice to be born and raised in the same
village with your soulmate, but what if a man’s family sailed to America looking for work
before he had a chance to meet the one who was made for him? Could have been disastrous.
As I recall, it likely was. People tried marrying those they weren’t meant for, and the world
was on the fast track to hell. Lunatic asylums were full to bursting. Wars everywhere. The
single way to save themselves was to strike out with a map and a prayer and fix it. And the
first to go? Soldiers.”
Jesse didn’t remember this story. He sure hadn’t learned it in school. Abram wasn’t
above embroidering the truth, though. Still, the soothing lull of his baritone had helped Jesse
unravel enough to breathe. “You met Callum when you got back from your tour, didn’t
you?”
Abram made an impatient noise. “That’s not the point, and you know it.”
True enough. Jesse wasn’t so far gone he couldn’t get the gist. He pinched the bridge of
his nose. “Then what should I do?”
Dog rested his muzzle on Jesse’s knee and whined softly.
“What should you do?” Abram said at last. “That’s the daftest question ever that
deserved the best answer I can give, and here it is—what should you do? Live, Jesse. Life will
never be perfect. It wouldn’t be life if it was. If you ask me, there is no such thing as perfect—
believe me, I know that expecting the unexpected is only the first step. The best we can hope
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for—and it can be a fucking fantastic ‘best’—is the good that we find for ourselves. It’s long
past time you opened your eyes. The worst has happened. He knows the truth, now.”
“Not all of it.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” Abram demanded. “You can’t go anywhere but up
from here, Jesse, and you’re damned lucky to have a mate with a heart like Daniel’s. Don’t
waste it. Stop waiting around and live.”
* * * *
Daniel sat on the stone bench where Dog had found him just a few hours ago—God, it
felt like longer, like half a lifetime—with his eyes shut, feeling the world waking up around
him. The sun was warm on his skin. The way grass smelled as dew evaporated, and puddles
from last night’s rain dissipated. The brush of a light breeze skirling past.
He’d toed off his sneakers and planted his bare feet on grass that tickled his soles and
toes. Jesse had chosen a good place for a bolt-hole. A man could live, work and be happy
here.
And if that was what it took, so be it. Road crew could earn a decent wage just about
anywhere if they put their minds to it, and Daniel had heard enough to know it might not
have been the job he’d wanted when he was younger, but he was damned good at what he
did. He could keep body and soul together, even put a roof over his head, and he’d be there.
Every day. Every night. As long as he had to, until he broke down the walls around Jesse’s
heart.
It was what he did. Who he was. Always faithful. He’d lost that faith, for a few minutes,
but if Jesse believed him when he’d said he would leave…well. Daniel wouldn’t blame him.
But he could show him he’d changed his mind.
He’d go in a few minutes. When the sun cleared the horizon, and he wasn’t the only
one out in the park, and the noise woke him up.
Daniel blinked once. A long blink.
When he opened his eyes, it was to the sensation of arms slowly winding around him
from behind. He sat upright, startled, but at the same time reaching for the hands at the ends
of those arms.
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Even so, he didn’t dare believe before he touched the soulmark on the man’s wrist.
“Jesse?”
“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Jesse said, no louder than a breath. “But I can’t do it
alone. Not any longer. Help me, Daniel? Please. Help me do this.”
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Chapter Six
Daniel squeezed Jesse’s hands and—finally, after holding his breath for what seemed
like a lifetime—exhaled. “Let me up for a minute?”
He could feel Jesse’s brief, confused hesitation, then his wariness and finally his
acceptance.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Daniel said. He moved Jesse’s hands to rest on his shoulder,
careful not to let them fall away as he stood, catching them in his own as he turned. He knelt
on the bench, facing Jesse, just high enough to rest his forehead against Jesse’s collarbone.
“Not ever again. And neither are you. Okay?”
Jesse’s chest shuddered on his exhale, and jumped when he swallowed. “I don’t know
what I’m doing. I meant that. I don’t know if I can do this.”
“But you’re going to try,” Daniel said. He tilted his head back. “That’s all I care about,
Jesse. That’s all that matters to me—a place to start.”
Jesse looked down at Daniel as if trying to make sense of him, but in the slow, steady-
growing flicker of hope, Daniel thought he could see the boy he’d met years ago looking back
at him, ready—so ready—to cross the divide. Jesse cupped Daniel’s face in his palms and ran
the pads of his thumbs along Daniel’s cheekbones then made a small, confused but not
displeased noise.
Daniel covered Jesse’s hands with his. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jesse said, not breaking the contact while Daniel knelt up higher. “You
looked like the boy I remembered for a second, that’s all.”
And that was enough. Daniel reached to twine his arms around Jesse’s neck, and met
him halfway for the first kiss that felt right in half of forever.
* * * *
Dog lay down outside the door to the tavern storeroom without being asked. His
feathery tail slapped the flagstones in a cheerful tattoo, and his muzzle dropped open in a
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canine grin. “Don’t make me start wondering just how much you do know,” Jesse told him,
with one last stroke of his silky head for luck.
Dog licked the inside of Jesse’s wrist.
“Smart ass.” Jesse tugged one of Dog’s ears. “Stay.”
Daniel waited for him inside. He’d understood why Jesse nudged him in the direction
of the tavern without being asked. It wasn’t home…but it was as close as he had come in
years. Maybe understanding the unspoken things was part of being a soulmate. Jesse didn’t
know. He’d never asked himself those sorts of questions on purpose.
But now, maybe, he’d have a chance to find out.
Jesse closed the door behind him and leaned against it, just watching for the moment.
Catching his breath, and taking in the view. Daniel lay on top of the tousled blankets. He’d
shed his clothes, artlessly shameless, and his lips were red from Jesse’s kisses. His cock lay
full against his hip, but he had eyes only for Jesse.
“All right?” he asked.
“I think so,” Jesse said. “Or I will be.”
“Good.” Daniel tucked the pillow under his head and lay still, watching Jesse watch
him. “There’s room enough for two.”
“I know. It’s just…” Jesse stopped, hoping Daniel knew what he meant.
And Daniel did. Keeping his gaze fixed on Jesse, he touched one finger to his lips and
wrapped his tongue around the length to the first knuckle.
Jesse’s knees wobbled. He’d thought Daniel was beautiful before, when he didn’t know
the man was his soulmate. Now? Good God. A ragged sound escaped him. “Do that again?”
Daniel laughed, soft and low. His pretty lips curved into a smile as he lapped at the tip
of his finger and let his gaze drift down from Jesse’s face to his body—to no small response.
“You like that?”
“God. What do you think?” Jesse took his hands out of his pockets and, almost shy,
rubbed over the growing ache of his rising cock. His throat worked as he swallowed.
“Daniel?”
Daniel rolled to his side. “It’s all right. I know. Come here.” He beckoned to Jesse.
“Come here, by the side of the cot.”
Jesse swallowed again. Now or never.
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62
He let go, and did as he’d been told. Daniel would take care of him. Once he trusted in
that…it got no less terrifying, allowing the unknown to have control, but he could take those
first steps. Daniel would lead him the rest of the way.
“Good. Very good,” Daniel praised. He put out a hand to stop Jesse as his shins touched
the edge of the cot.
“What are you doing?”
“You’ll see.” Daniel rose gracefully to his knees. He pushed Jesse’s thighs apart,
guiding him into a wider stance. “Look at you. You’re so…” He ran his hand down the
length of Jesse’s hard-on. His smile widened at Jesse’s response, pushing his hips forward.
“Your eyes,” he said. “They’re all pupil. Do you like this, too?”
Jesse licked his lips. Startled, but yes, hungry. “More than. So much more than.”
“Good,” Daniel said, bending his head.
Jesse reared back, arching his neck as Daniel leaned forward, swift and smooth, and
pressed his mouth to Jesse’s groin. Sucked at him straight through his jeans as if they weren’t
there at all. And the feel of him— “Oh, fuck.” Jesse pushed his hand into Daniel’s hair as
Daniel traced a path with his tongue.
“To start with.” Daniel stroked Jesse’s thighs, coaxing them wider apart. Nuzzled deep
into Jesse’s groin, Jesse could feel the thrum of Daniel’s pulse at his temple, and the hot moist
touch of Daniel’s breath at the fastening of his jeans. He bit at the back of his wrist to stop
himself taking too hard a hold on Daniel’s head.
“You don’t have to do that,” Daniel said. He licked his lips as he looked up. His blue
eyes were wide and dazed, and he reached for Jesse with the soulmark on his wrist turned to
face him. “You can have it all. You can have me.”
Daniel drew back and lay down. He gazed at Jesse from beneath heavy lids, daring the
man to come and join him.
Jesse bit back a laugh. “Am I dreaming?”
Daniel didn’t take offense. He grinned, wide and sweet. “Not even a little. You’re
awake, Jesse, and so am I. No more wasting time.”
“No,” Jesse said. He tugged at his shirt, lifting it over his head, and stopped still with a
curse when Daniel sat up again to touch his mouth to the bare skin. Quick hands made
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63
quicker work of undoing his jeans and pushing them down. When he’d kicked them aside,
he hesitated one more time just in case Daniel had changed his mind—
But he hadn’t needed to. Daniel waited for him, ready for him. Sweet Daniel, with him,
at the start of something good.
He couldn’t do anything but follow, no matter where Daniel led.
“No more wasting time,” Jesse said, when Daniel took his hand. He let Daniel pull him
down into the bed. “Never again.”
Daniel stretched out on his side facing Jesse, reaching out to trail a finger down his
chest. “I thought I’d never get you here,” he whispered. He toyed with Jesse’s nipple,
thumbing it into a hardened nub, pleased and gratified both when Jesse gasped and shivered
with a thrill of pleasure.
“Again,” he rasped.
Daniel did him one better. He bent and drew the nipple into his mouth. Hot and wet, he
nipped with his sharp teeth and laved away the sting with the flat of his tongue. He laughed
softly as Jesse moaned and arched up. “You’re sensitive there. Good to know,” he said
against Jesse’s chest. He slid his hand down and circled Jesse’s cock with a hard squeeze.
Jesse groaned, pushing his head forward. “Daniel.”
“Your body, God. It tells me what you like.” Daniel’s hand began to move up and down
the length of Jesse’s cock. Slow and easy, as if he had all day to take his time and enjoy the
work. “The times I’ve dreamed about this…I lost count, long ago.”
Jesse laughed, breathless.
“What?”
Jesse put two fingers to the underside of Daniel’s chin and lifted his head. “You think it
was just you who dreamed?”
The startled, pleased laugh flew from Daniel’s lips—and disappeared into a choked
moan in the next moment as Jesse took his cock in hand. Daniel groaned and clutched at
Jesse’s bare shoulders, arms tangling around the man’s back. “More,” he gasped. “Harder.
Faster. Please, Jesse. I’ve waited so long.”
“You’re close,” Jesse said on a soft breath. “I can feel it. You’re shaking as if you’d been
caught out naked in the snow. Breathing as if you’ve run through a storm.”
HANDLE WITH CARE
64
“Then do something about it!” Daniel laughed again, halfway out of his mind and
delighted by it. Even more so when Jesse caught hold of Daniel again, taking a good solid
grip, and pushed Daniel flat on his back below him. He braced himself on his arms above
Daniel, not so high up he couldn’t bend his head for a kiss.
And that kiss… Daniel never wanted it to end. Mouths warred, lips moving hungrily
against lips, and wrist pressed to wrist as Jesse twined their fingers together.
“It doesn’t matter to you,” Jesse said between kisses and breaths. “Does it?”
“What doesn’t?” Daniel struggled to keep his eyes open. They wanted to fall shut, but
he needed to see it all. As much as he could. Everything.
“That I am what I am,” Jesse said. “That I’m…”
“You’re not broken.” Daniel pushed his shoulders hard enough to startle Jesse into
meeting his eyes. “Not in any way that can’t be fixed.”
It was the right thing to say. Daniel knew it, because Jesse poured both his gratitude
and his hunger into the next kiss, and Daniel? Daniel returned it in spades.
Jesse touched his lips to the tip of Daniel’s nose. “Why?” he asked, as if the world
depended on Daniel’s answer.
“Because,” Daniel said, sliding his arms beneath Jesse’s to rest his hands at Jesse’s back.
“You’re my mate, and I’ve been waiting to say this for years. Because I love you.”
Jesse fell on Daniel with the eagerness of a wolf on the hunt.
Daniel laid himself down for the feast.
And oh, what a feast. Jesse might not be practiced, but that didn’t matter so much.
Neither was Daniel. They both made up for any lack of smoothness with enthusiasm. It was
better this time, now that they knew each other for who they were. No tricks, no half-truths.
Nothing but a second chance with one another.
What Jesse didn’t know, Daniel taught him. How to lick and nibble at lips until they
plumped from the force of their kisses. How to tease and dance with tongues inside heated
mouths. Where he liked to be touched, and how. Jesse made a fine student, quick to pick up
what Daniel wanted to show him. His hands roamed over Daniel’s body, stroking here and
pinching there, squeezing and tickling.
When he set his teeth ever so lightly to the nape of Jesse’s neck, hinting at a proper bite
when he was ready for it, Jesse’s moan was the sweetest sound Daniel could imagine.
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Fair was fair. Daniel threw himself into learning Jesse’s sweet spots. If he’d known it
could be like this…but there was no point in regretting the past. Better to savor the here and
now, the reward of Jesse’s reactions as he slowly lost his control—groans, hisses of breath
and involuntary bucking of his hips, grinding his cock against Daniel’s own. Daniel could
feel it as their bellies grew slick with pre-cum and sweat.
When Jesse was kissing Daniel as if he wanted to climb inside Daniel’s skin, Daniel
closed his eyes with a breath of thanks. He drew back, smiling at Jesse’s grumbled
disappointment, and laid a finger over Jesse’s lips. “Tell me if you want this.”
He let his other hand wander down to Jesse’s cock, giving it a squeeze, before traveling
further and back to between the cleft of Jesse’s ass. He searched for the tightly puckered hole
and pressed against it. His own cock throbbed with sympathetic eagerness as Jesse let out a
cry and arched upwards. When his finger penetrated to the first knuckle, Jesse sobbed.
“Yes.” Jesse shuddered hard. Daniel thought he might come then and there, but he
opened his eyes, wild and fever-bright. “More,” he whispered. “More, please, more. I
thought…”
“Don’t think.” Daniel pushed him, as gently as he could. “On your back, love. I said I’d
take care of you, didn’t I?”
Every so often, Jesse had wondered what Daniel would look like when they were in
bed. He’d never been sure of the face, or the voice, knowing Daniel would have changed as
he grew older and tougher. His favorites had been the images of Daniel stretched out on his
belly or back, his legs raised to slide over Jesse’s bare shoulders. Or the ones where he
opened Jesse with slick fingers, making Jesse ready for his cock.
Reality didn’t compare to the dreams. Reality beat hell and stuffing out of dreams.
“Hand lotion on the desk,” Jesse said. He thought he remembered seeing a tube there
before. “Good enough?”
Daniel turned his head to look. Jesse watched the gleam of satisfaction fleet across his
lips when he nodded. “There is. It’ll do. Can you reach? No, never mind—” He knelt up
himself and stretched to snag the small tube from its place near the old landline phone. Half-
empty, looked like, but it’d do. Daniel had a way of making a drop of hope stretch for years.
He’d manage with a handful of lotion, no problem.
HANDLE WITH CARE
66
“What are you grinning at?” Daniel teased, braced above him.
“You.” Jesse’s smile twisted sideways. “Don’t leave again?”
“Never. Not ever.”
Jesse closed his eyes. “Okay then.” Aching tension lifted from his chest. He licked his
lips. “Good.”
He felt the brush of Daniel’s lips on his forehead. “Ready?”
“Mmm.” He couldn’t speak, but nodded, praying Daniel understood him.
Daniel did, and he didn’t waste time.
Jesse arched with the shock of sensation from the cold touch of the slippery stuff and
the feel of Daniel’s hot fingers rimming his tight skin. Blunt pressure nudged up against his
opening, Daniel making a questioning sound.
Opening his eyes wasn’t easy, but Jesse wanted it enough to make it happen. He looked
up at Daniel, positioned over him, strain so clear in the tendons that stood out in his neck
and shoulders, but willing to wait.
“Do it,” Jesse said, raising one knee to plant his foot flat on the bed. He’d wound his
arms around Daniel’s neck, and used them now to pull Daniel closer, tighter. “Do it, do it
now.”
Daniel gave a strangled groan as he pushed inside—a tight, burning shove that went on
forever before he bottomed out. It hurt, yes, but oh, so good. Jesse’s breath left him in a
rattling shout as he clutched at Daniel with his legs.
Great drops of sweat stood out on Daniel’s forehead when he’d gone as far as he could
go, and stopped to breathe. “More?”
“All of it,” Jesse said, or tried to. No sound came out, but that didn’t so much matter.
Daniel understood what he meant. He took Jesse’s cock in hand, away from where it had
rested hard and thick on his belly, and began to pump it in time with his thrusts.
Despite his desire to keep his eyes open, Jesse couldn’t help but roll them back and let
his lids flutter shut, drowning himself in the dark and the sensation of Daniel’s cock shoving
roughly in and out, the way his cock throbbed in Daniel’s grasp, and the way the bed moved
with them, bumping in a steady rhythm against the wall.
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67
Jesse bit his cheek when he couldn’t hold back the insistence of the ache in his groin,
when his balls drew up tight and hard. “Daniel…Daniel,” he managed to say, fisting his
hands in the blankets. “Going to…”
Daniel doubled the speed of his thrusts. “Good,” he grunted, moving faster. “God, yes,
Jesse. Jesse!” His hand fumbled on Jesse’s cock thanks to its own slipperiness, making him
first swear, then come back for a harder grip.
Jesse’s world went white, then dark. Slick heat spread between them, pooling on his
stomach. He shuddered fit to wrench his ribs apart, and maybe he had done. Who knew?
Worth it, if he had.
“Beautiful,” Daniel murmured, pressing his mouth to Jesse’s wrist. “Worth the wait,
love. Worth every bit of the wait. I told you I’d take care of you.”
They lay still for a long moment, both shaking hard. Daniel didn’t move again until
Jesse opened his eyes.
“Still all right?” Daniel asked.
Jesse knew his voice would be raw, but he put all his heart into it. “Better than. Your
turn now.” Though shyness made him stumble, he pushed through, and tightened his hold
on Daniel. “Let me take care of you, too.”
Jesse meant that. He thought Daniel could tell.
“I love you,” Daniel said, voice hoarse. “Don’t ever doubt that.” He lifted Jesse’s lean
legs, one in each hand, and slid them over his shoulder. “Relax as much as you can. Relax,
and fly with me.”
Jesse didn’t count the pushes of Daniel’s hips, or the bursts of sensation. They blurred
for him, one following fast after the other, until Daniel cried out against Jesse’s mouth. He
pulled out and took himself his hand, his mouth still open. Jesse held on tight, steadying
Daniel and giving him someone to hold on to. Warm wetness burst from his cock, slicking
their bellies pressed so tightly together.
Slowly, slowly, racing breaths calmed into a ragged rhythm. Daniel dropped first to rest
his weight on one arm then fully down to lie on Jesse’s chest. Jesse stroked Daniel’s chest as
high up and near the heart as he could. He drew a figure eight turned on its side, the eternity
symbol, never-ending.
Daniel hummed, a smile curving his lips. “I like the idea of that.”
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68
Jesse copied Daniel and touched the tip of his tongue to the bow of his upper lip. “Hope
so. You make me think it could be that way.”
“And it will. If I have anything to say about it, it will.” Daniel kissed the sweat-
dampened curls clinging to Jesse’s cheeks, and pressed his nose to the light impression of
teeth he’d left on Jesse’s nape. “Sleep. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”
Jesse yawned. “Promise?” he asked, drowsy.
Daniel raised his hand and pressed it over Jesse’s, aligning their soulmarks. “I swear.”
Jesse turned his wrist, rubbing his mark against Daniel’s. “I believe you.”
“You should.” Daniel eased out of Jesse’s body, but didn’t go far. He dropped down to
lie by Jesse’s side, one leg draped over both of Jesse’s, his breath already starting to settle into
the slow deepness of sleep. Cleanup could wait for later. He’d earned a rest, Jesse thought.
Years of running had meant years of chasing.
And he’d never lost faith, had he?
“Thank you,” he whispered into Daniel’s hair. For not giving up. For believing. For tough
love from a true, gentle heart. “Thank you.”
Daniel murmured sleepily, a meaningless sound full of warmth and contentment that
somehow managed to mean the world. Jesse kissed him once again and held him close,
soaking up his warmth too long denied.
Together, they settled down to sleep away the short hours left before the tavern came to
life for the day.
* * * *
Maybe they’d go back to Daniel’s hometown, Jesse thought, toying with Daniel’s hand
as Daniel dozed. Maybe they’d stay here. Maybe he’d talk Daniel into going back to school.
Could even be that he’d go himself.
It didn’t seem impossible anymore. That was the thing. That was the everything.
They had time, now. They could catch their breath. And together—finally—they could
make a proper start at living their lives side by side as they had been meant to, all along.
Now, and always.
Thank God it hadn’t been too late.
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Jesse tangled his fingers firmly with Daniel’s, tucked his head against the pillow, and
closed his eyes.
And Jesse slept well that night. Better than he had since he was a boy.
His dreams? All good ones.
Also available from Totally Bound Publishing:
Soulmarked: Only You
Willa Okati
Excerpt
Chapter One
“Which way do we go?”
“What? Oh. Left here. Sorry.” Nick shook his head, trying to clear the tangle of cobwebs
from his thoughts. He’d had a head like a rainy winter morning for hours now. Not a usual
thing for him, and he couldn’t say he cared too much for it. “I’m so used to this route I forget
it isn’t second nature for everyone else.”
“To say the least.” Abram’s amusement at Nick’s expense, indulgent at worst, didn’t
chafe. Abram probably got away with more than anyone rightfully should by virtue of being
a friendly giant. He certainly managed to poke his nose into almost everywhere it didn’t
belong without worrying he’d get called out for it. “How long has it been since you and
Barrett moved out here?”
“Coming up on almost a year, I think?”
“I think, he says.” Abram clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. “As if he doesn’t
know by heart.”
Nick laughed. “Beats the old apartment, though, doesn’t it?” He watched Abram squint
through the windshield at the gradual change from low-slung ranch-style homes to old-
school farmhouses, both those growing older gracefully and those that most definitely
weren’t. “Even with dial-up Internet.”
“God. Better you than me. Don’t think I could do it.” Abram tapped the steering wheel
almost idly. “You’re a million miles away. Something on your mind?”
Nick shrugged with one shoulder. He rested his arm on the truck’s cab window and
idly surveyed the ever more rural scenery gliding past. “Hell of a weekend, that’s all. Can
you blame me?”
“That I cannot,” Abram said. He whistled soft and low and tugged his earlobe with its
obsidian widower’s bead, as if for luck. “Never thought I’d live to see the day when Ivan and
Robbie would mend their fences. Good for them, but there’s likely many a betting man who
lost money in that pool.”
Right. The crux of the problem.
Nick frowned. “And there I was, not knowing there was a pool at all. Or a reason for a
pool.”
“Is that what’s been eating you? It was Ivan’s business. If you hadn’t figured it out on
your own, it wasn’t my story to tell.”
“Not exactly,” Nick said. He’d tried for hours to find the right way to put it, and he’d
had no luck yet. “I haven’t known Ivan as long as you. And I’m glad as can be he’s patched
things up with his soulmate, don’t get me wrong. It’s just…”
“Not the way life’s supposed to work?”
“Unexpected, I was going to say.”
“Six of one, half a dozen of the other,” Abram said with a philosophical shrug. “Save
me from starry-eyed young’uns in love.”
“No blame, no shame.” Nick stretched out his legs. Abram had a roomier truck cab than
most to accommodate the man’s long legs, but no one could ride for three hours straight
without starting to dream about solid ground off-road. “Barrett’s going to murder me in cold
blood when he finds out what he missed.”
“Not likely. Cut one of you, and the other bleeds.” Abram cocked his head. “Why was
he not along this weekend, again?”
“Parent-teacher conferences. Couldn’t get out of them.” The rubber band on Nick’s
braid broke with a muted pop and snap as it bounced off the window. “Damn it! Knew that
was going to happen,” he said through a tangle of hair. Thicker, curlier and heavier than a
new fleece, it took more than elastic to restrain the mess. He’d have cut it, but anything
longer than a buzz left him looking like a startled dandelion. “You didn’t get snapped, did
you?”
Abram patted his shaved head with a dash of admittedly deserved smugness. “I’ll live.
Thought you had a leather tie thing?”
“So many questions,” Nick chided, not seriously. He didn’t mind letting the man have
his fun. Most of the time. “Lost it somewhere. Probably in the stands.”
“Lost your hair tie and your wrist cuff and your illusions. Not one of your best
weekends on record.”
The amusement ebbed out of Nick. He resisted—just—the urge to clamp his hand over
his too-long, all-encompassing left sleeve and chafe the wrist beneath. Abram wouldn’t have
taken it amiss. Soulmarks were private and kept protected.
As far as Nick could tell, no one knew he and Barrett’s wrists were still bare. That
neither of them had any mate’s soulmark, much less a matching set.
But that didn’t mean Nick wanted to tempt fate. “I’ve still got what matters,” he said,
clipped. “Good enough.”
Abram raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I wasn’t saying otherwise.”
Nick eyed Abram, suspicious but not sure how to put the question. Maybe better to let
it pass. He cleared his throat. “A pool, did you say?” He didn’t work with Abram or Ivan at
the police station, but given his job as a paramedic for a relatively small area, their paths
crossed plenty. “Big pool?”
Abram’s grin reappeared. “It’s been going for years.”
“And you’re going to tell everyone about it, aren’t you?”
“I am what I am.”
The houses they passed were even more familiar now, and the relief of finally, home
made Nick shift restlessly in his seat. Nearly there. Nearly back to Barrett. “An old
troublemaker, that’s what you are.”
“And good at it, too. Not half as good as Callum was.” Abram chuckled. “He’d have
come up with some elaborate scheme for the reveal. Something subtle. I’ll have to settle for
‘cash or check will do’.”
Nick snorted. “Because you won.”
“No one else held out any hope after they’d passed the seven year mark.”
They wouldn’t have, would they? Nick’s restlessness lost its edge. He sized up the dark,
sturdy bulk of the man beside him, amused. “Such a softie.”
“I’m a softie and a troublemaker? Ambitious of me.” Abram tilted his head in thought.
“I would rather describe myself as experienced. I’ve seen it all, or enough to know they were
still crazy for each other. Especially once I saw them together again.”
Nick shivered at the memory. “Felt like I was going to get sunburned, just watching.”
“That’s the soulbond for you, especially in crisis. Whether it’s right or wrong or a
hundred percent insane, it wants what it wants. Though you know that. I remember what it
was like coming back to Callum after a few days away. Am I right?”
“Hmm? Oh. Definitely, yeah.” Nick’s face prickled with heat he pretended not to notice,
and he refused to check to see if Abram had noticed. Ivan’s ship coming in had made him
paranoid. He tucked his sleeve into his fist and curled the edges of the flannel under his
fingertips. “It’s the low, roundish cottage up here to the right. Do you want to come in for a
coffee?”
“Want to, yes. Will I? No.” Abram eased the truck to the side of the road rather than
pulling into the drive. “Better get back to the city. I don’t want to get lost out here after
dark.”
“It’s suburbia, not the Amazon rainforest.”
“You say potato…”
“Add that to the list. Troublemaker, softie and hopeless city boy.” Nick unbuckled his
seatbelt. He could just see Barrett in the gathering dim of dusk, working in the yard.
Look at you. Barrett hadn’t noticed the truck pulling up, but that wasn’t surprising. Let
Barrett get deeply enough involved in a project and he wouldn’t notice a tornado lifting the
roof from over his head. Such an absentminded professor. Gorgeous, too, and in Nick’s
opinion even more so with the slim, gold-framed spectacles he’d finally accepted he needed
after he’d turned thirty.
“Ain’t young love grand,” Abram said with a nearly audible grin. He dug behind the
truck seats and fished out Nick’s overnight bag, tossing it to him as Nick hopped out of the
cab. “See you Monday, if you don’t get into too much trouble first.”
“Never count your chickens.”
Nick waved a casual goodbye and watched the man drive away. Abram was up to
something for sure, although he had no idea what. Barrett might be able to figure it out. He
had a gift for that sort of thing. He’d ask, but…first… Nick breathed in the scents and
relished the familiar quiet, domesticated noises of the neighborhood.
Much, much better. Home at last. Seriously, though, had Barrett not seen him coming
yet?
About the Author
Willa Okati can most often be found muttering to herself over a keyboard, plugged
into her iPod and breaking between paragraphs to play air drums. In her spare time
(the odd ten minutes or so per day she’s not writing) she’s teaching herself to play the
penny whistle.
Willa has forty-plus separate tattoos and yearns for a full body suit of ink. She walks
around in a haze of story ideas, dreaming of tales yet to be told. She drinks an
alarming amount of coffee for someone generally perceived to be mellow.
Email:
Willa loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and
author biography at
Also by Willa Okati
Totally Bound Publishing
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