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Checkmate:ThisisLove

CheckmateDuet,Book2

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Checkmate:ThisisLove

Book2intheCheckmateDuet

ViolaFisheristheepitomeofperfection.

Shedespisesmyone-nightstandsandmocksmyless-than-classyhabits.

She’ssmart,beautiful,andtoogoodtobetrue.

AndIwanther.

Ifshewereanyoneelse,I’dhavemademymoveyearsago,butconsideringshe’smybestfriend’s

littlesister,she’salwaysbeenoff-limits.Nottomentionhowmuchsheloathesmyveryexistence.

Hatingmeisherreligion,butneedingherismine.Hersexycurvesandfilthysmartmouthmakeme

wantherevenmore,andI’mmoredeterminedthanevertochangehermind.

I’llproveI’mdoneplayinggames.

Butuntilthen,we’llcontinuetoplaybyherrules.

ViolaFishermayhavewonthebattle,butthewarisn’toveryet.

Checkmate,princess.

Checkmate

/ˈCHekˌmāt/
Noun
(Chess)

1.Apositioninwhichaplayer'skingisincheckandtheplayerhasno
legalmove(i.e.cannotmoveoutoforescapethecheck).Aplayerwhose
kingischeckmatedlosesthegame.

2.Utterdefeat

TOOURBOOKSTAGRAMFAM

WearesogratefulforyouandallyourenthusiasmovertheCheckmate

Duet!You’veshowedTravisKingandhisprincesssomuchlovethese

pastfewmonths,andwe’reforeverhumbledbyyourlove!

CHAPTERONE

TRAVIS

Tenhoursearlier...

Ipressmypalmsintomyeyesandexhaledeeply.
Icannotlosecontrol.Icannotlosecontrol.
IwishI’dtoldViolawhathappenedatworkandtalkedtoheraboutitinsteadofshuttingdown.

Notthatthere’dbeanythingshecoulddo,butshe’salwaysbeenagreatlistener,evenwhenshewas
beingthebiggestpaininmyass.Whenwewerekids,shealwaysmadetimetolistentomyramblings.
Ididn’tspeaktomyparentsmuch,aboutanything,andhadlearnedtokeepmostofmyfeelings
buriedinside.BeingrealandopenfeltnaturalwithViola.

ThatwasbeforeIfuckeditallupandhurther.
Ishouldjustcallitanightandgotobed,butI’mtoorestless,thinkingaboutthatbitch,Alyssa.

WhichmakesmethinkoffuckingBlake,whorippedmydreamofmovingupinthecompanyaway
fromme,butIwon’tgodownwithoutafight.

IdecideIshouldprobablyeatsomething,butIhadn'tgonegroceryshoppingsincebeforeDrew

leftandheisn’thometonight,sothatleavesmewithlimitedoptions.

RamennoodlesorPB&Jonmoldybread.
Wrinklingmynose,Ishutthecupboardandgrabmycarkeys.Ineedtoclearmyhead.
Itakeadrivedownthehighway,headingoutoftown,blaringmystereowiththewindowsrolled

down.Theeveningbreezefeelsgood,andthemusicnumbsmymind.Iallowthepavementtoleadthe
way.

Hourslater,IendupjustoutsideofSacramentoandstopatadinerthat’sopentwenty-fourhours.

Itlooksoldandrun-down,butI’mreadytochewmydamnarmoffsoIcan’tbetoopicky.

OnceIfindabooth,Iorderacupofcoffeeandsomewater.Thesoundsofclankingsilverware

andlatenightchatterfillthediner.Thereareonlyahandfulofpeopleatthecounter—wholooktobe
truckdrivers—andafewcouplessittingintheotherbooths.Ishouldn’tbesurprisedatthistimeof
night,though.

Thewaitresscomesbackwithmydrinksandthentakesmyorderofpancakesandbacon.She

barelylooksupfromherwritingpadasshescribblesitdown,andwalksawaybeforeIcanhandback
themenu.

TemptedtotextViolaandmakesureshe’sokay,IstopmyselfanddecideI’drathertalktoherin

personaboutitall.Idon’tknowwhatwe’regoingtodonowthatDrewishomeearly,andalthough
I’vebrokenthebrocodebybangingmybestfriend’slittlesister,Idon’twanthimtofindoutfrom
anyonebesidesme.KnowingIowehimthat,atleast,weneedtofigureouthowwe’regoingtotell
him.OrwhatI’mgoingtotellhim.

Thetruthis,ViolaandIaren’tacouple.Wehaveahistory—adamagedone—butnevertheless,a

historythathasboundustogethersincewewerekids.ThemoreIthinkaboutit,themoreIwantto
punchmyselfforeverystingIblewherway.Shehadn’tdeservedit,mostofthetime,butshemade
suretogiveitrightback.

That’swhatIlovemostabouther.She’snevertakenmyshit,andshe’stheonlygirltochallenge

meateverydamnopportunity.Perhapsthat’swhatkeptthefireburningalltheseyears,butI’mdone
playingthosegames.Ilostherasoneofmybestfriendsallthoseyearsago,andI’llbedamnedifI
loseheragain.

Thewaitressdropsmyplatesinfrontofmeandmuttersthatshe’llbebacktorefillmycoffee.I

pourthesyrupovermypancakesandbegincuttingintothemwhenIhearafamiliarvoicebehindme.

Iturnmyheadslightly,listeningagain.Itcan’tbe.
“Youjackass!Youcan’tjustleavemehere!”
“Getoffme,youcrazybitch!”
ThevoiceisdefinitelyoneI’veheardbefore.PanicsetsinasIsetmyforkdownandslideoutof

thebooth.ThenIseeherfamiliarfaceandcurseundermybreath.

MiaFuckingMontgomery.
She’sarguingwithaguyasshepullsonhisleatherjacket.She’scryingandpleadingwithhim,but

hejustpushesheroffandwalksoutthedoor.I’mshockedtoseeherhere,especiallywithsomeone
else.Itflat-outbotherstheshitoutofme,consideringsheandDrewbrokeuponlydaysago.

“You’reafuckingasshole,Will!”shecallsout,rushingbehindhimthroughthedoorinaskimpy

littledress.

I’mquicktofollowasIcallouthername.“Mia,stop!”Igrabherelbowandturnheraround.

“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?”

“Travis?”Hereyeswiden.“Holyshit!ThankGodyou’rehere!”Shewrapsherbodyaroundmy

armandcriesevenharder.It’sawkwardashell,butIdon’tpushheraway.

“Oh,look.Ittookyoulessthanthirtysecondstolatchontoanotherguy,”Willyells.“Enjoyher,

dude.She’saseasyasshelooks.”

“Screwyou,motherfucker!”sheshouts,andittakesmeamomenttorecognizetheguyshe’s

screamingat.WillTamer.

“Allright,man.That’senough.Justgo.I’llmakesureshegetsbacksafely.”
Helaughs.“Don’tfuckingcare.”
Iseeredagainatthewayhe’syellingather;ittakeseveryounceofmybeingtokeepmyfeet

plantedontheground.Thewayhe’streatingheriswaytooreminiscentofhowmyfathertreatedmy
motherallthoseyears.RegardlessofhowmuchofabitchMia’sbeentoDrew,I’mnotokaywithany
guytalkingtoawomanlikethat.

“She’sjustanothertypicalattentionwhore.Justwantedtousemeasawaytogetherfifteen

minutesoffame.”

“Ohright,Will,becauseasextapeissounusualtoday.That’sexactlywhatIwasdoingbecauseI

definitelydidn’tsleepwithyouforyourthree-inchdick.Wouldbesuchashamefortheentireworld
toknowthattheonlythingWillTamerispackingissugar-freegumandexpiredcondoms.”

“Mia,”Ihiss,warninghertoshuthermouth.Thesoonerheleaves,thesoonerIcangetheroutof

here.

“Whatdidyousay,bitch?”Hetakesasteptowardus,readytogetinherface,butIdon’tcarewho

heis,there’snowayI’mlettinghimtouchher.Thevilewayhe’stalkingtohermakesmyfistsclench.

“Justletitgo,man.”Iholdmyhandup,blockingMiabehindme.“Sherunshermouthalot,but

she’sharmless.”Itrytodiffusethesituation.ThelastthingIneedistogetintoanotherfight,buthe’s
nottakingthebait.

“Fuckoff,littlemama’sboy.”Hepushesafingerdirectlyintomychest,andnowI’mseething.

WillTamerisn’tsomeoneI’dwanttofightononeofmybestdays.He’saworldchampionfighter,
andhe’sbuiltlikeafuckingrock.EveryoneinNorthernCaliforniaknowsaboutWillTamer,and
onlyadumbasswouldthrowthefirstpunch.

“Mia,gobackinside,”Isay,keepingmyeyeslockedonhim.He’satickingtimebomb.
“ButTravis...”sheargues.
“Go,”Isayfirmer.“Getinside.”
“I’dlistentoyournewlittlefucktoyifIwereyou,”Willtellsher,stretchinghisarmsoutinfront

ofhischestandcrackinghisknuckles.“Unlessyouwanttogetbloodonyourfakedesignershoes.”

Hiswordshitmelikeatonofbricks.Hecouldsnapmelikeatwiginlessthantwoseconds.I

workoutandliftweights,butthere’sabsolutelynocomparison.Hisbicepsareasbigasmyhead.

Shegasps.“Theyaren’tfake!”
“JesusChrist,Mia!”Isnap.“Getinthefuckingdiner.”
“Wehavesomeunresolvedissuestodiscuss,”Will’svoiceisthickwithamusement.Heobviously

getsarushfromfighting,inoroutofthering.

Webothstaystandingaswehearhershoesclickagainstthepavementassheheadsbackinside.I

don’twanttofightthisguy,orrather,getpummeledintotheground,butsomehowIwelcomed
myselfinherdamnmess.

“Beforeyouassumeanything,Mia’sjustafriend...”
Hetakesastepcloser.
“Shewasactuallymybestfriend’sgirlfriend.So,whateveryourtiffwithheris,let’sjustdropit.

She’sahotmessevenonherbestdays.”

“YouthinkIcareaboutanyofthatshit?”Hestepsforwardagain.“Shetookavideoofus,and

unlessshegivesitback,it’syourfaceI’mgoingtobepunchingin.”

“Okay,I’lltellhertogiveitback.”
“It’sonhercell.Iwantit.”
“Allright.Noproblem.”
“Youhavefiveminutes.Sheeithergivesitback,orIcrushyourskull.”
Fuck,andIthoughtIhadangerissues.He’sonatotallydifferentspectrum.
Ipinchmylipstogetherandslowlytakeastepbacktowardthedineragain.OnceI’minside,I

grabMiaandtellherhisdemands.

“Ineedit,Mia.Justhanditover,andyoucangetanotherone.”
“Idon’thaveit!”Shecrossesherarms.“I’vebeentellinghimthatforthepastthirtymiles.”
“Wherethehellisit?”
Sheshrugs.“SomewhereonI-50betweenRivertonandCedarGrove.Ithrewitoutthecar

window.”

Iinhalesharply,brushingmyhandthroughmyhairandturnslightlytoseehe’swatchingour

everymove.

“Whythehelldidyoudothat?”NowI’mannoyed.
“Becausehewasbeinganasshole!Hekepttellingmetogiveittohim,soIsaid‘fine,gogetit,’

andthenthrewitoutthewindow.”

“Fuck,Mia,”Ihissundermybreath.
“Well,Ididn’tknowhewasgoingtolosehisshitoverit.”
“Yourecordedyouguyshavingsex?”Iwhisper.“That’snotexactlysomethingaguylikehim

wantsleaked.”

Sheshrugsandherindifferencefeedsmyangerevenmore.
Reluctantly,Iwalkbackoutsideandfacehim.“Shesaysshethrewitoutthewindow,whichmeans

there’snowayitcangoviral.”

Hisjawticks,andIwatchashishandsballintotightfists.“Bullshit.Iknowsheuploadedittothe

iCloud.”

Dammit,Mia,Imuttertomyself.

“Shewon’tuploadit.IknowMia.She’salltalk.”
“YouthinkI’mgoingtotakeyourword?”
BeforeIcanrespond,Miafliesoutthedoorandbeginsswearingathim.Icanseepeopleinside

thedinerwatchingusfromthewindows.Miaisallfiredup,andWillisasecondawayfromlosing
hisshit.

“Whatareyousoafraidof?WorriedthatpeoplearegoingtowonderwhyIhadtofakeevery

singleorgasm?Ormaybeyou’reworriedwhatpeoplewillthinkwhentheyseeyoucryingafteryou
come?”

Shestormspastme,andI’mquicktograbherarm,pullingherback.Forapetitegirl,she’spretty

determinedwhenshe’spissed.

“Youfuckingcunt,”Willhisses.Hisbodyunleashes,andbeforehecanmakecontactwithMia,I

pushheroutofhiswayandtakethehit.

Iimmediatelylosemyfooting,andIcanhearMiashoutinginthedistance.Hishandsareonme

beforeIevencollidewiththeground.Thankfully,thepunchheservedtomygutmakesmyheadveer
forwardinsteadofslammingagainstthecement.

Iblockhisnexthit,butjustbarely.There’scommotionandscreamingaroundme,butIcan’topen

myeyeslongenoughtofindawayout.It’sobviousthisguyfeedsoffanger,andhewon’tstoptill
I’malifelesslump.It’sengravedintohim,soIdotheonlythingIcantobreakhisfog.

It’sabitchmove,Iknow,butIliftakneeupandkickhimrightbetweenthelegswitheveryinchof

strengthIhaveleft.

AssoonasIfeelhisweightliftoffme,Irolloutfromunderhimandpullmyselfup.He’s

mutteringavarietyofcursewordsashecupshisjunkandstrugglestobreathe.

“OhmyGod,Travis!”Miarunstowardme,ahandfulofcustomersnowoutsidewatchingbehind

her.“Areyou—”

“Getinthecar,”Ishout.
“What?”sheasksassherunsbehindme.
“Getinthefuckingcar!We’regettingoutofhere.”
IgrabmykeysfrommypocketandunlockthedoorsasfastasIcan.Iknowhe’sprobablygoing

tobedownforawhile,butIcan’trisksomeonecallingthecopsonme.I’malreadyindeepshitat
work;Idon’tneedtoaddamisdemeanorchargeofdisturbingthepeaceontopofthat.Theycould
lockmyassupinthecountyjail,fineme,orboth.

WebothslideinandIrevtheengine,shiftingitintoreverseandbackintodriveagain.Myheartis

hammeringinmychestaswemakeourwayoutoftheparkinglot,tiressquealinganddustkicking
upinourwake.

“Whattheactualfuck?”I’msopissedtobeinthisposition,thatallIcandoisdrivefasterand

holdthesteeringwheeltighter.I’msoangry;Ican’tevenlookather.TheounceofcontrolthatI’ve
workedsohardtokeepalldayisslowlyslipping,butshedoesn’tdaresayaword,whichI’mthankful
forbecauseI’montheedgeoflosingmyshit.Honestly,Ithinksheunderstandswhatshe’sdone,andI
hopeshefeelsasmallsliverofregret,butasIglanceover,I’mnotsureifthat’sevenpossible.I
alreadyknowwhatkindofgirlMiais;she’strouble.

“Youjusthadtogopissoffoneofthestrongestguysinthecountry?”Iyelloncewe’vecleared

theareaandarecruisingbackonthehighway.ThenexttimeIturnandlookather,she’spale,andI
canseeherchestrapidlymovingupanddown.

“Mia?”Ireachoverandshakeherknee,tryingtograbherattention.“Youallright?”
Sheshakesherheadwithoutlookingatme.“IthinkI’mgoingtobesick.”
She’sgoingintoshock,andthere’snoshoulderonthehighwayformetopullover.

“Mia,listentome,”Isaysoftly,tryingtochangemytone.“Youradrenalineisdecreasing,and

youneedtotryandstaycalm.Listentomyvoice.Inhalethroughyournoseandexhalethroughyour
mouth.”

Sheabidesandgripsmyhandthat’sstillrestingonherknee.Iwanttopullitaway,butIdon’t

becauseshe’sinshockandI’mgenuinelyconcerned.

“Ican’tbelievethatjusthappened.”Shebeginschokingonhersobs,andIrealizeI’mgoingto

havetotakethenextexitbeforeshepukeseverywhere.

“Staywithme,Mia,”Isayevenly.
“Ican’t.”
“It’sokay.We’regoingtobeokay.”
Shefinallyturnsandlooksatme.“You’renot.”
Thestiffnessinmybodyisevident,butIwon’tadmitit—notrightnowatleast.“I’llbefine.”
“Hecould’vekilledyou,Travis!I’veneverseenhimactthatwayoutsideofthering.”
“Well,hedidn’t.”Itrytosoundconfident,butwebothknowhadhepinnedmedownlongenough,

hecertainlycould’ve.Myentirebodyisbruisingalready,andIjusthopeI’mabletomovetomorrow.

Itaketheexitaheadandpullintoagasstationthat’snearlyempty.It’safteroneinthemorning,

butthestreetlampspainttheparkinglotinamysteriousorangeglow.Icanseethefearinhereyesas
shestaresoffintothecloudynightsky.

“Ican’tbelievethataftereverything,you’ddoallthatforme,Travis,”shesaysmomentslater.

Hervoiceissoftandsincere,herbreathingfinallyregulating.

Ishrug,notreallywantingtogetintothedetailsofwhyIinterfered.“Menshouldn’tyellat

womenthatway.”Asmuchassheprobablydeservedit,themomentIheardhimraisehisvoiceand
getinherface,Isnapped.Ifit’dbeenanyotherwoman,Iprobablywould’vedonethesamething,but
thefactthatit’sDrew’sex,ignoringitwasn’tanoption.

Sheslowlyexhales,bowingherhead.“I’msuchanidiot.”
“Yeah,”Isaywithalowchuckle,herhandstillgrippingmine.“Youare.”
Herjawdropsassheturns,eyeswideasshechokesoutalaugh,too.“Youweren’tsupposedto

agreewithme,jerk.”

“Well,Idon’tsugarcoatshit.Ifyou’rebeingapainintheass,I’lltellyou.”
Shelaughs,hershouldersfinallyrelaxing.“That’sactuallyaqualitymostgirlslikeaboutyou,I

bet.”Thelookonherfacecausesmetoreleasemygrip,andshereleasesmyhand.MiaandIhaven’t
spentthatmuchtimetogether,consideringDrewwenttovisithermorethanshevisitedhim.Being
withherfeelsawkward,evenforme.ThemoodshiftsandIdon’tcareforhowshe’slookingatme.

“Mostdon’tstickaroundlongenoughtofindout,”Imutterabittoohonestly.
“Why’sthat?Nottherelationshiptype?”
Icockabrow.“Areyoureallyonetobeaskingmethatquestion?”
“What?YouthinkI’mlikeahorriblepersonnow?”
“Ineversaidthat,butgivenyourcurrentsituation,youmightnotbetherightpersontobetalking

aboutrelationshipswith.”

Shesighs.“Ididn’tcheatonhim,ifthat’swhatyou’rethinking.”
“Iwasn’tthinkinganything.”
“Idoubtthat.IcanonlyimaginethethingsDrewhassaidaboutme.”Herlipsturndown,andIcan

tellshe’sinavulnerableplacerightnow,butshebroughtthisontoherself.

“Helovesyou,”Isay.“Hethinkstheworldofyou.”
Shenods,avoidingmyeyecontact.
“Long-distancerelationshipsarehard.Ididn’tthinkit’dbethishard,butwithDrew’scrazywork

scheduleandmyschoolschedule,thingsjustgotwaymorecomplicatedthanIimaginedtheycould.

Evenwhenhecameuptovisitmeforaweekend,he’dbeonhisphoneallthetimecheckinginat
work,orhe’dbetalkingaboutwork.”

Shesighsandcontinueswithoutwaitingformetorespond.
“He’smarriedtohisjob,andIgotlonely,butthenwhenwearetogetherandthingsaregreat,it

givesmehopethatthingswillstaygreatuntiltheyaren’tagain.”

Thewayshe’sramblingonismakingmyheadspin.Idon’ttalkrelationshipcrapwithanyone,so

Ishouldgetextracreditjustforlisteningtoherbabbleonnow.

“Well,maybeit’sbestyoubothmakeacleanbreak.Sometimesyouhavetoletgoevenwhenit

hurts,becauseyouknowit’swhat’sbest.”

“Wow,”shesayswithasmile,turningtowardme.“WhoknewTravisKingwassopoetic?”
Ilaughandshakemyhead.“Don’ttellanyone.”
Sheflashesagenuinesmile,placingherhandonmycheek.“Iwon’ttell.Thissecretwillbeours.

You’renotasbadasyouwanteveryonetothinkyouare.”

Mylipsturndown.“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”
Shereachesformyhandandsqueezesit.“Well,Ido.”
Miastaresintomyeyes.“You’rejustthedistractionIneed...”

CHAPTERTWO

VIOLA

PresentDay

MiaFuckingMontgomery.
WhatthehellwasTravisdoingwithher?Whythehellweretheytogether?Andwhywasshe

naked?

AllquestionsIprobablywon’tgetanswersto,atleastforawhile.IwanttotrustTravis.Iwantto

believenothinghappenedbetweenhimandMia,butthecircumstancesaren’tlookinggoodrightnow.

Courtneyofferstodrivemeoncesheseeshowbadlymykneesareshaking.IcallDrewaswe

walktotheJeep,tofindoutwhichhospitaltheyweresentto.

“Placerville?”Igasp.“Whythehelldidtheytransferthemupthere?”
“Closesthospitaltothesceneoftheaccident,”heinformsme.He’salreadyupthere,infullcop

mode,buttheyhaven’tallowedhimtoseethemyet.

“Whatwashedoingupthere?”Andwithher?
“Idon’tknow,Vi.YouknoweverythingIdo.”Iheartheconcerninhisvoiceandtrytostaycalm

forbothofoursakes.

“Okay,sorry.I’mjustworriedisall.”
Courtneygivesmealook,knowingI’mfullofshit.AsweclimbintotheJeep,shequietly

suggestsIjusttellDrewandgetitoverwith,butuntilthere’ssomethingtotell,I’mkeepingmylips
sealed.IfhewashangingoutwithMiaandsomethinghappenedbetweenthetwoofthem,there’dbe
nosecrettokeep.There’dbenous.ButIhavetotrytogivehimthebenefitofthedoubtbefore
jumpingtoconclusions,regardlessofhoweasythatis.

Ican’tdenyhowthethoughtofitmakesmythroatdry.I’mnotnaïveenoughtothinkthatsleeping

withTravischangesthings.Itdoesn’tchangewhoheisorwhoIam.Infact,untilIknowwhat
happenedbetweenusthispastweekmeantsomething,andwherewestand,itmaybebettertopretend
itneverhappened.EvenIknowthat’seasiersaidthandone.

I’mlosingmyselfinmythoughtswhenIhearDrewyellingmynamethroughthephone.“Viola!”
“Sorry,I’mhere.”
“Youdon’thavetocomeuphere,youknow?IcankeepyouupdatedonMia.”
Irollmyeyes.“WhataboutTravis?”
“Ifiguredyouprobablydidn’tcare.”
“Drew!”Iscold.“I’mnotarobot.OfcourseIcare.”
“Well,mostdaysyoutwoareateachother ’sthroats.”
“Thatdoesn’tmeanIwanthimtobehurt...orworse.”Irestmyheadagainsttheheadrestofthe

Jeepandinhale,tryingtofocusonthewhitelineonthesideoftheroad.MaybeIshouldjusttellhim...
“Listen,Drew.There’ssomething—”

“Ohhey,thedoctoriscomingout.I’llcallyourightback.”HehangsupbeforeIcanrespond.
“Well,thathastobeasign,”Imuttertomyself.
“What?”Courtneyasks,drivingontothehighway.It’saboutanhourdrive,whichmeansmymind

hasfifty-nineminutestooverthinkeverything.

“Iwasgoingtotellhim,andhecutmeoffassoonashesawthedoctor.”
“Whatexactlywereyougoingtosay?”
Ishrug,knowingIhadn’tthoughtitthrough.“Idon’tknow.ThatTravisandIhatefuckedallover

thehouse,soIhaveareasontobeworried,althoughnowI’mwonderingifhescrewedMiaandifI
shouldgobacktohatinghisfuckinggutsagain.”

Shewidenshereyesandgripsthesteeringwheeltighter.“Perhapsit’sagoodthinghehungup

then.Nomatterwhat,everythingisgoingtobeokay.Gotit?”Shegivesmeahopefulsmile,andwe
rideinsilencetherestoftheway.

Finallyarrivingatthehospital,anxiousbutterfliesswarmmybelly,andIhavenoideawhattoexpect.
CourtneygrabsmyhandaswewalkthroughtheentranceandfindDrewwaitingforus.

Sheleansinandwhispers,“Wouldthisbeabadtimetomentionhowhotyourbrotherlooksright

now?”

Ilookatherandscowl.
“Youguysmadeit,”Drewsaysashewalkstowardus.Hewrapsanarmaroundmyshoulderand

squeezes.HenoticesCourtneyandflashesherasmallsmile.Ofcourse,shemelts,andInudgeher.

“Nursesaidwecouldgoinandseethemsoon,”Drewcontinues.
“Doyouknowwhathappenedyet?Orhowbadthey’rehurt?”Isearchhisfaceforareaction,but

he’scalmandcalculatedwithhiswordsandmovements.Drewisworriedshitlessrightnow.

“Miadidn’thaveherseatbelton,soshe’sbangedupprettybad.Herlungcollapsed,andshe

slammedherheadprettyhard.They’rekeepingherovernightforobservation,soI’mnotsurewhen
she’llbereleased.”

“Gladtohearshe’llsurvive,”Isaydrylybetweengrittedteeth,butit’slostonhim.
“WhataboutTravis?”Courtneyfillsthesilence,andI’msogratefulsheasks.
“Theairbagsdeployed,causingsomeburns,andhesmackedhisheadonthedriver ’ssidewindow

duringimpact.Hehadhisseatbelton,buttheforceoftheimpactbrokeafewribs.He’sbruised,but
he’llsurvive.”

I’mfinallyabletoexhalethebreathI’vebeenholdingsinceIreceivedthecall.TosayI’m

relievedtohearhe’sgoingtobeokayisanunderstatement.

“He’llstayinICUforobservationtomakesurethere’snoswellinginhisbrain,butknowing

Travis,hisheadwasalreadyswelledupasbigashisego,”hecracks,gettingasmallsmileoutofme.

“So,whathappenedexactly?Dotheyknow?”I’mimpatientasIask,butItrytostaycalm.
“Thesherifftoldmebitsandpieces,butuntiltheydoafullaccidentreconstruction,theyonly

knowfromwhatthewitnessestoldthem.Basically,hewasdrivingdowntherampandasemiinthe
rightlanewasn’tmovingover,sohesloweddowntogetbehindit.However,thecarbehindthem
wasn’tpayingattentionandrammedrightintothebackofthematfullspeed,pushingthemforward
intotraffic.Luckily,thereweren’tmanycarswereonthehighwayattwointhemorning.”

Jesus.
MyhearthammersinmychestasIpictureTravisgoingthroughsomethinglikethat.Hecould’ve

beenhurtalotworsehadtherebeenmoretrafficorthesemidriversuddenlysloweddownorthecar
thathithimwasgoingfasteror...

“Viola,”Drew’svoicebreaksmeoutofmythoughtsthatwerepullingmeaway.“He’llbeokay.”
“WhatabouthispreciousChallenger?”Courtneyaskswithamocksmile.
“It’sinbadshape.”
“Priorities,Courtney!”Iscold.
Drewlooksather,holdingbackasmile.It’sthemostattentionhe’spaidtoanygirlsincehis

breakup.Courtneyinstantlylightsup.

“What?It’snotlikeIaskedaboutthecarfirst!”
Heglancesoveratheragain,andIwonderwhathe’sthinkingbecausehisfaceisn’tgivinghim

away.

IrollmyeyesathercommentandfollowDrewashefindsusaspotinthewaitingarea,butI’m

gladshetooktheattentionawayfromme.

WesitandstareattheTV,knowingdamnwellnoneofuscanfocusonwhatevercourtroom

realityshowison.Ihatethis.

Ihatewaiting.
Ihatenotknowing.
Ihatebeingleftinthedark.
It’seatingmeupinside;Ihavetospeakup.“So,anyideawhyTraviswouldbewithMiainthe

firstplace?”

Courtney’seyeswidenasshelookstoDrewforareaction,buthedoesn’tgiveone.
“Nonethatmakeanysense.”Heshrugs,keepinghiseyeslockedonthescreen,payingusno

attentionatall.It’ssuchadudereaction.

“Youdon’tseemtooconcernedthatyourfriendwasinacarwithyourgirlfriendorthatshewas

nakedinhisbackseat.”

Hecracksaweaksmile.“Well,Iknowhewasn’tfoolingaroundwithher,soI’mnotthat

concerned.”Hepausesamoment.“Andtechnically,she’smyex-girlfriendnow,unlessshemagically
changedhermindagain.”Thesadnessinhistonedoesn’tgounnoticed.

Iignoretheex-girlfriendcomment,butCourtneyperksupatthementionofit.
“Travismaybealotofthings,buthe’dneverbetraymelikethat,”hestateswithcertainty.
“Bro-code,”Courtneyadds,andIglareatherwithoutDrewnoticing.
“Therearejustcertainpeopleyoudon’tfoolaroundwith,andhe’dneverdosomethinglikethat

behindmyback.”

Certainpeoplelikeanex-girlfriendorlittlesister...?
AdaggershootsrightintomychestasIhearaboutDrewtalkingaboutthestrongfriendshipand

bondhehaswithTravis.

Courtneyflashesmealook,andIknowwe’reboththinkingit.Ifweweren’tallsittingtogether,

CourtneywouldbeswooningoverDrewalotharder.He’scluelessastohowheaffectsgirls,
especiallyCourtney.EventhoughshewaswithToby,andDrew’sbeenonandoffwithMia,she’s
alwayshadalittlethingforhim.Andtakeseveryopportunitytoremindme.

EvenbeforeTobyandshewereonthepathtobreakupcity,Courtneyhadcrushedhardonhim.

Shortlyafterwefirstmet,shecamewithmetohishouseandnearlywalkedintoabeamthefirsttime
shesawhim.

“Areyouallright?”heaskedher,genuinelyconcerned.
Sheblinkedafewtimes,andDrewtookasteptowardher.
“Fine,”shefinallysaid.“Justwasn’tlookingwhereIwasgoing.”
Henoddedandflashedoneofhisinfamouscharmingsmiles.Drewdoesn’thavetodomuchtogeta

girl’sattention,withhisdark,shaggyhairandtattooslininghisarmsandchest.He’sbuiltlikearock
andwasthereasonguyswouldn’tcometothehousebackinhighschool.Helookedterrifying,butI
knewhehadasoftside,too.

“Stoplookingatmybrotherlikeyouwanttoripoffhisclothes!”IgroanedonceDrewwasoutof

hearingdistance.MyfriendsswooningoverhimwassomethingIhadgottenusedtoinhighschool,
andsomehowitcontinuedtohappenincollege.

Hereyesremainedlockedonhimashewalkeddownthehalltohisbedroom.“Iwanttodoalot

morethanthat...”Herlipstiltedup.“Andthosehandcuffs—”

“Allright,Igetit,”Isaid,cuttingheroff.“YouwanttogoallFiftyShadesonhisass.”
Shechuckled.“Hotcopfantasy.”Sheshruggedunapologetically.
Ismile,rememberingthemoment.She’dbeencompletelydevotedtoToby,andwouldneveract

onanythingoutsideoftheirrelationship,butnowthattherewasnorelationship,Ihopeshe’dfinally
allowherselftogooutandhavesomefun.Sheneedstomeetpeopleandseewhatlifeislikewithouta
relationshipstatusdetermininghereverymove.WithDrewbeingavailable,itmighttakehermindoff
thedirtybreakup.

“AreyouthefriendsofMiaMontgomery?”adoctorwalksuptous,andwealllookup.
“Yes,”Drewsays,standingup.CourtneyandIbothstandupnexttohim.
“She’sprettydrowsyfromthepainmedicationwegaveher,butyoucanseeheroneatatimefor

afewminutes.”

“Whataboutthedriver,TravisKing?”Iaskbeforehecanwalkaway.
“He’sonsomeprettyheavypainkillersaswell,butafewminutesshouldbeokay.”
“Justenoughtimeforyoutoputapillowoverhishead,”Drewteases.Thedoctorgivesa

disapprovinglookbutdoesn’tcomment.

“That’sprettyharsh,”Isay,followingbehindhim.
Hechuckles.“Sorry,Ididn’tknowyoutwobecamebestfriendssinceIleft.”
Courtneysnortsbehindme,andIturnaround,flashingheraglare.
“Um,definitelynot.Doesn’tmeanI’dwanthimdead.”
“Allright,gocheckonhimwhileIcheckonMia.”
“Okay.”
“MiaMontgomeryisin707,andTravisKingisin713,justdownthathall.”Thedoctordirectsus.

Weboththankhim.“Justafewminutes,”heremindsus.

CourtneywalkswithmetoTravis’roombutdoesn’tfollowmeinside.
“I’llwaitoutheresoyoutwocanbealone.”
Ipursemylipsandexhale.“Okay.”
Iknocksoftlyonthedoorbeforeslowlyopeningit.I’mnotsurewhattoexpect,butIjustneedto

visuallyconfirmthathe’sokay.

“Travis?”Iwalkquietlyuptohisbed,takinginhisclosedeyesandthebandageoverhisforehead.

“Canyouhearme?”Itakehishand,feelingthewarmthagainstmine,andwaitforaresponse.

HehasanIVinhisotherhand,hisleftkneeisproppeduponpillowsunderthesheets,andhisface

isbruisedandswollen.I’veneverseenhimlikethisbefore,andforthefirsttime,helooks
vulnerable.Mychestaches,seeinghisbodylyingalmostlifeless,hischestslowlyrisingandfalling,
andIcan’thelpbutwanttokisseverybruisedpartofhim.

Sittingontheedgeofhisbed,IkeephishandinmineandhopehecanhearwhatI’mabouttosay.
“Idon’tknowifyoucanhearme,butit’sV.”Ichokedowntearsandlaughter.“Ican’tbelieveI

justcalledmyselfthat.”

Iwait,hopinghe’llrespondandjoininonourinsidejoke,buthedoesn’tflinch.Iwatchhischest

moveupanddown,asthesoundsofthemachinesfilltheroom.

“Youlookprettyawful,butthedoctorsaysyoushouldbebacktoyournormalselfinnotime.

Truthfully,seeingyoulikethisistearingmeapart.”

Iswallowandcatchmybreath,andthenIbegintoramble.“Idon’tknowwhyyouandMiawere

together,andIhonestlydon’tthinkIwanttoknow.I’mgoingtotrytotrustyou,Travis.It’llbehard
becauseofourpast,butI’mgoingtotrytobemorelikeDrew.Itdoesn’tfazehimatallthatyouwere

withMia,anditremindedmethatalthoughyou’reanassholemostofthetime,youwouldn’tdo
anythinglikethattoDrew.Apparently,there’ssomesortofbrocode.”Ishakemyheadatthethought.

“Tobehonest,Ihopeyouwouldn’tdothattomeeither,butIdon’tknowwherewestandandwhat

we’redoing.Whenyougetoutofhere,andyou’renothookedtomachineslikeDarthVader,we’re
goingtohavetotalk—likearealtalk—aboutus.Ineedtoknowthatwe’reonthesamepageand
whereweshouldgofromhere.Iwanttotrustyou,Travis,andI’mgoingtotryreallyhard.Please
don’tmakemeregretwearingmyheartonmysleeve.”

Isitnexttohimforafewmoreminutes,watchinghimsleep.RealizingI’vebeeninhisroomway

toolong,Isqueezehishand,wishinghe’dsqueezeitback,butheneverdoes.Istandupandleanover
him,carefulnottotouchorputweightonhischestandpressmylipstohis.

“Bye,Travis,”Iwhisper.
Iwalktowardthedoor,wipingmyfaceastearsbeginfallingdownmycheeks.Ican’tstandtosee

himsovulnerableandbroken;it’stearingmeapart.BeforeIcanopenthedoor,anursewalksinand
immediatelystudiesmyface.

“Oh,it’sokay,sweetie.”Sheflashesmeagenuinesmile.“Mr.Kingwillhaveafullrecoveryina

fewweeks.He’sprettydruggeduponpainkillersrightnow,butI’lllethimknowyouwerehere.”

AllIcandoisnodandreachforthedoor.
Ireallyhopethisisn’tgameover.

CHAPTERTHREE

TRAVIS

Theconstantbeeppullsmebacktoaharshrealitywithwhitewashedwallsandnumbingpainthat

coatsmybodyfromheadtotoe.Iforcemyeyesopen,andit’shardtopinpointwhathurtsthemost.
Mythroatispainfullydry,andthethickheadfogI’mswimminginmakesithardtofocusinthebland
room.Iglancedownatthecountlesstubesattachedtomyarmandbrokenmemoriescutthroughthe
confusionlikeshardsofglassIcan’tpiecetogether.

TherhythmictoneofthemachineI’mattachedto,andthelowsoundofthetelevision,pullsmy

limitedattentiontothecorneroftheroom.Ican’tmakeoutthewords,andittakeseverythingIhave
justtoturnmyheadtowardthenoise.OnceI’mabletofocus,IhearrustlingandwatchasDrewsits
upfromthechair.Herubsahandoverhisfaceandflashesasmallgrin.He’swearinghisbluesand
badge,anditsomewhatconfusesme.

“TheKinglives.”
IthurtswhenItrytolaughandendupcoughinginstead.“Barely.”
“Youlookrough.”
Hedoestoo,butIdon’ttellhimthat.Hemust’vebeensittinghereawhile.
Helooksmeover,concernwrittenonhisface.“Howdoyoufeel?”
“Likeshit,”Iadmit.“Whathappened?Whatdayisit?”
Abandageiswrappedaroundmyhead,andIrealizeI’vegotonewrappedaroundmylegtoo.

Nauseaovertakesmeforasecond,andItrytorepositionmybody,butit’salostcause.Thebedis
raisedupsohigh;I’mbasicallysittingupstraight,whichisuncomfortableashell.Myneckistight,
andtheloudpoundinginmyheadcontinuesonthebeat,makingithardertofocusonanythingbutthe
intensepain.Itryreachingfortheplasticcupofwaterthat’sonasilvertraynexttomybed,butit’s
outofreach.

“I’llgetit,”Drewsays,grabbingitandhandingittome.“It’sTuesdaymorning.”
Itakeit,hatingthatIneedhishelp.Iendupdrinkingitsofast,Igaspforairafterward,andeven

thathurts.Hiswordsfinallyregisterwithme.Tuesday?IknowI’vebeeninandoutofit,butfourdays
ofmylifehasevaporatedintowhatseemedlikehours.

Drewtakesadeepbreathbeforehestartsexplainingthetechnicalityoftheaccidentincoplingo.I

givehimalook,lettinghimknowIhavenofuckingideawhathe’stalkingabout,sohebeginsagain,
explainingitmoreslowlyandwithoutasmuchdetailsoIcancomprehenditall.

“Youwererear-endedatahighrateofspeedandpushedintooncomingtraffic.Afewfractured

ribs,aconcussion,bruises,cuts,andlotsofpainmeds,fromwhatI’vebeentold.Theairbagwentoff
andcausedalotofdamage.Buttheysaidyou’dlive,andthatyourthickskullwillbeokay.”Heforces
outalaugh.“Iwasworried,though,man.Theysaidyoubothcould’vedied,andyouwerereally
lucky.Ithoughttheworst.I’veseenwaytoomanyaccidentslikethiswherepeoplearen’tas
fortunate.”Heinhalesadeepbreath,hiseyesglassingover.“AndMia...”

Shit.I’dalmostforgottenshewaswithme.Bitsandpiecesofthatnightstarttoflashby,butwhenI

trytoremembertheaccident,mymindgoesblank.Ican’trememberadamnthingafterleavingthe
gasstation.

TheselfishpartofmeisgratefulViolawasn’tinthecarwithme.Icouldneverforgivemyselfif

anythinghappenedtoheronmywatch.

“How’sMia?”MyheartthumpshardinmychestattherealizationIwasresponsibleforanother

personinthecar.

“She’sdoingokay.Shegotlucky;youbothdid.Shecould’veeasilybeenejectedfromthecar

becauseshewasn’twearingaseatbelt.Shesmackedherheadandhasalotofbruises,”Drewexplains.

Thepainonhisfaceisevidentashetalksabouther.Theirrelationshiphasbeentoxicsinceday

one,butforsomereason,helovesherunconditionally.I’veneversecond-guessedthat,buthe
deservessomeonealotbetterthanher.Evenaftereverything,Iknowhestillcaresaboutherwell-
being.

“I’msorry,man,”Ibegin,relievedshe’snothurtworse.“IwishIcouldrememberwhathappened,

butIcanexplainwhyshewaswithme.”Hehadn’taskedwhy,butevenbeinghighasakiteonpain
meds,IknowIowehimthatmuch.“MiaandI—,”Istarttoexplain,buthe’squicktocutmeoff.

“Travis,stop.Itrustyoumorethananyone.Youneedtorestandshouldn’twasteyourstrength

explaininganythingtome.”

Iwanttoargue,tellhimthatIdohavetoexplainthecircumstancesthatbroughtMiaandItogether

onThursdaynight,butbetweenthemedsandthetruthofhiswordsrippingthroughme,I’mleft
speechless.

“Ascrazyasitsounds,Imisshersofuckingmuch.Shewon’tletmebethereforher,andeven

afterwhatshesaidtomethelastnightweweretogether,Iwanttobethereforhermorethan
anything.”

“Becauseyou’reagoodman,”Ichokeout.Hetrulyis,andasmuchasitwouldhurtforhimto

hear,Miadoesn’tdeservehim.Drewdeservesbetter.

Heshrugs.“Herparentscameuprightaway,soIgavethemprivacy.Idon’tknowwhatMiatold

themaboutus,soIfigureditwasbesttostayawayandletherrest.”

“I’msorry,”Isaysoftly,nothavingthestrengthtotellhimaboutWillTamer.Damnher.I’dlike

tohaveforgottenthosedetails,buttheyareasclearasaCaliforniasummersky.

“YourmomwashereonSaturday,”hesays,changingthesubject.Iarchmybrows,surprisedto

hearshecame.“Stayedforhours,butthenursesaidyouprobablywouldn’tbecoherentforafew
days,soItoldhertogohomeandgetsomerest,andI’dcallherwhenyouwereupforvisitors.”

Iswallowhardandguiltwashesoverme.Ihaven’tcalledandcheckedonherrecently.Lifegotin

thewayisnotagoodenoughexcuse.Ican’tfindmywordsandallIwanttodoisgobacktosleep,
butmymindwon’tstopwanderingandthinkingwhatif.

“Violacheckedinonyou,too,”Drewcontinues.“Surprisedshedidn’tsetaspelltoputyouina

permanentcoma.”Hechuckles,makingmesmileatthethoughtofherbeinghere.

Viola.
Ifeellikeshitforthewaythingswereleftbetweenus.God,Imissher.Ican’timaginewhatshe’s

thinkingaboutmebeingwithMia,butIknowitcan’tbegood.Drewcontinuestalking,fillingthe
roomwithwords,andIkeeptryingtolisten,butwitheverypassingminute,itbecomesharder.Focus
slipsthroughmyfingerslikewater.

“Badnews,though,”hesays,hiswordsbringingmebacktohim,“theChallengeristotaled.”
“Fuckinghell,”Icurse,exhaustioncompletelycoveringmelikeawarmblanket.Myeyesare

heavy,andI’mfightingtostayawake,butI’mdriftingfartherandfartherawayfromDrew’svoice.
Sooneverythinggoesblack.

Iwakeuptoadarkroomandamcompletelydisorientedonwhattimeitisorifit’seventhesameday.

Ihavenofuckingideaanymore.IglancearoundandseeatrayoffoodwithgreenJell-Oandtwo
plasticcupsofliquid.Idon’thaveanappetite,butmythroatisstilldry.

I’mabletoreachoverandgraboneofthecups.AsIfinishofftheapplejuice,IrealizeIhaveto

piss.Idon’tknowifthere’sacatheterinmeornot,soIshifttotheendofthebedtofindmywayto
thebathroom.

Withinseconds,Irealizethepainistoomuch,andIcan’tliftmyselfup.Jesus.Thisfuckingsucks.

Ifeellikeapathetic,weakpansy.

Iseetheremoteonthesideofmybedwithabigredbuttonandpressitforhelp.
“Nurses’station.”
“Uh,yeah...IthinkIneedsomehelp.”
Thewomanclearsherthroat.“WhatcanIhelpyouwith,Mr.King?”
Myvoicedropstoawhisper,andI’mhumiliatedevenasking.“Uh,bathroom.”
“Whatwasthat?Speakup,honey.Icanbarelyhearyou.”
Igroan,curlingmyfingersintofists.Fuckit;I’lldoitmyself.AsItrytostandagain,mybody

screamsoutinprotestandfrustrationgetsthebestofme.

Surrendering,Irespond,“Pissing.Ineedtopiss,okay?”
“I’llsendsomeonein.”
Atleasttenminutespassandmybladderfeelslikeit’sgoingtoexplode.They’vebeenpumping

mefulloffluidsandmedicineforhours,andit’sfinallycaughtuptome.I’mtwosecondsawayfrom
pissingonthefloorwhenagray-hairedwomanwalksin.

“Gladtoseeyou’reawake.”Shesmiles.“I’mNancy.”
AllIcanofferherisanimpatientsmile.Shepullstheblanketsfurtherbackandadjustsherbody

infrontofmetohelpmybalance.

“Ithurtstobreathe,”Itellherbeforeattemptingtostandonceagain.
“Fracturedribswilldothat.You’llprobablybestifffrombeinginbedforsolong,soit’seven

moreimportanttostartwalkingaroundnowthatyou’reoutofthehaze.”Shegivesmeherarm,andI
feelguiltyforleaningagainsthersmallframe.IttakeseverythingIhavenottoscreamoutinpain
whenIgettomyfeet.Dizzinesssurroundsme,myheadfeelslikeitsplittingintwo,andIgrabthe
womanlikeshe’smysavinggrace.

Wetakesmallstepsallthewaytothebathroom,whichisn’tthatfar,butsomehowitfeelslike

we’llnevergetthere.Shepullsthemachineandfluidsbehindmeandkeepsonearmaroundmywaist.

“Doyouwantmetowalkinwithyou?”sheasksinacasualtone.
“No,”Isaybeforeshefollowsmein.“Thanks,butIshouldbefine.”Ispotthemetalrailingalong

thewallandholdontoitforbalance.

“I’llberightoutsidethedoor,”sheinformsme,turningherback.
Thisisfuckinghumiliating.
Ineedtheaddedstability,soIholdon—myknuckleswhitefromthetightgrip.OnceI’mfinished,

Irubantibacterialfoaminmyhandsandwalkouttowhereshe’swaitingforme.Sheplacesherarm
aroundme,andwemakeourlongjourneybacktothebed.Abreezebrushesacrossmybareass,andI
realizethere’snothingunderneaththethinhospitalgown.I’msurethenursehasseenaneyeful
alreadywhilewalkingmetothebathroom,butIdon’thavetheenergytocare.

Shemustnoticemydiscomfort,becauseassoonasIturntositbackdownonthebed,I’mquickto

coverbackup.“Don’tworry,hon.I’veseenitallinmythirtyyearsofbeinganurse.”Shegrins,but
thatdoesn’thelpeasemyconcern.

I’maproudmanandnotshyaboutmybody,butthiswomanisoldenoughtobemygrandmother.
Shehelpsmesettlebackintothebed,coveringmeupandpushingthetrayclosertome.
“Youshouldtrytoeatsomething,”shesays.

Inod,notwantingtotacklethatfeatjustyet,butIdon’targuewithher.
“Thisisforyourmorphinedrip.”Sheplacesthecordacrossmylap,alongwiththeremotethat

hasacallbutton.“Ifyoufeelmorepaincomingon,pushthisbutton.Youcangetanotherdoseevery
seventeenminutesifyouneedit.”

Itellherthankyou,andsheremindsmetopressthecallbuttonifIneedanythingelse.Isliquoran

option?

“Thedoctorwillgooveryourfileandcheckinonyouaroundsevenoreight.Aslongasyour

statsarestable,youshouldhavenoissuegettingdischargedwithinadayortwo.”Hersmileis
genuine,andshehasasweetdemeanor,justlikemymother.

“Andtodayiswhatdayexactly?”
“Thursday,honey.Westartedgivingyoulesspainmedicationandremovedyourcatheter,so

thingsshouldstartfeelingbacktonormalsoon.”

IknewitfeltlikeIwaspissingfire.AsIliftmylegsandleanbackontothepillow,Ilookoverand

seemycellphonesittingonthecounter.Nancynoticesandhandsthemover.Itrytoturnmyphone
on,butit’sdead.Iletoutafrustratedgroan.

“IsthataniPhone?”
“Yes,ma’am.”
Nancysmilesthenwinks.“I’vegotachargerforyoubackatthenurses’station.Youprobably

wanttogetintouchwiththatgirlthat’sbeencallingtocheckonyouseveraltimesaday.”

Shesmilesandfinishesenteringtheupdatesintothecomputerbeforequietlywalkingoutand

shuttingthedoorbehindher.Iglanceattheclockandseeit’sjustafter3:00a.m.Iprobablywon’tget
muchsleepatthispoint,butmybodyisbeggingforit.I’veneverfeltsodrainedinmyentirelife.

WhenIclosemyeyes,imagesofViolafillmymind.Icanalmosttasteherlipsonmine,andI

cringeasIrememberthelookonherfacewhensheleftthehouse.Iwishwedidn’tleavethingsthe
waywedid,butI’mdeterminedmorethanevertomakeitrightagain.Thedooropensandcloses
beforeIhearNancypluginmyphone.IfIweren’tsoexhausted,anditwasn'tsolate,I’dcallViola
rightnowjusttohearhervoice.

Beforefallingbackasleep,IthinkaboutMia,andhowshe’sacompletefuckingmess.Drewneeds

toknowthetruth,butIknowit’llhurthimmorethananything.Iftheirrelationshipistrulyover,
there’snopointindiggingtheknifedeeper.

IthinkabouthowMiawasstartingtofreakout,soIpulledoffthehighwayandintoaparkinglot

tohelpcalmherdown.ShewasnearlyintearsandknowingDrewwouldn’twanthertobeupset;I
triedcomfortingherthebestthatIcould.

BeforeIcanthinkaboutwhathappenedafterthat,I’mrippedawayfrommythoughtsofhertothe

thoughtsofmycar.Memoriesofthesoundsofbreakingglassandcrashingmetalstarttosurface,but
Ican’tvisualizeanyofit,whichalmostmakesitworse.Maybeit’sforthebest,butIwishIcould
eraseallthememoriesofwhathappenedfrommymind.

SharppainstabsmeinthechestasIlingeronmythoughts.Beforetheycantransforminto

nightmares,Ipushthemiraclebuttontoeraseitall,andsoonenough,I’mdriftingintonothingness.

VIOLA

I’vebeencompletelyoutofitsinceIsawTravisinhishospitalbedonFridaymorning.It’sbeen

eightgruelingdaysandthefactthatschoolstartsbacktomorrowdoesn’thelp.Wheredidthetimego?
MostofitwasspenttryingtoworkoutthescenariothatledTravisandMiatogether.Idon’tknowthe
circumstances,butI’mgoingtotrytogivehimthebenefitofthedoubt.Notknowinghasbeen

torture,butIwon’tallowmyselftojumptoconclusionsuntilwetalk.Idon’tknowwhatIshouldbe
thinkingordoingrightnow,butonethingisforcertain:Ican’thandleanotherbrokenheartbecause
ofhim.

Atthebeginningofspringbreak,IsaidIdidn’twanttobearoundTravis.Now,it’storturebeing

awayfromhim.IwakeupSundaymorningtotheringingofmyphone.MyheartraceswhenIsee
Travis’nameflashacrossthescreen.Iquicklyanswer,andbutterfliesmixedwithananxiousfeeling
swarmmyentirebody.

“Princess...”
“Travis?”
“I’vemissedyou.”Hesoundsweak,andhisthroatisraspy.
Myheartthumpshardinmychest,andIchokebacktears.“I’vebeencallingeverydaytoget

updates.I’vebeensoworried.”

“Iknow.I’mbeingreleasedtoday,though,andthenwecantalk.Thedoctor ’swalkingin.I’llsee

yousoon.”

“Okay,”Iaddjustbeforethecallends.
Myheadisabitclearernow,knowinghe’sfinallybeingreleased,butIwon’tbeateaseuntil

Travisishome.Findingouthewaswithagirl—Mia,ofallpeople—stillmakesmychestclenchwith
asharpache.WilltherealwaysbeaMiainthepicture?OrSarahfromtheBaroraRachel?Ican’t
rememberatimeinTravisKing’slifewherehedidn’thavealonglineofconquestsathisbeckand
call.Thatoldnaggingfeelingreturnsinthepitofmystomach,butIforceitaway.

Idragmyselfoutofbedandheadtothekitchenforsomecoffee.WhileIwaitforittobrew,I

begincollectingmythingsfromaroundthehouse,becauseclassstartsbacktomorrowandIneedto
getbacktomydorm.ItfeelslikeadifferentlifetimefromwhoIwaswhenIleftthedormtwoweeks
ago.

OnceI’veplacedmycrapbythedoor,Ipouracupofsteaminghotcoffee,addasplashofmilk

andaspoonfulofsugar.AsI’mstirringmyliquidmagic,Drewspeaksfrombehindme,scaringthe
livingshitoutofme.Ijump,nearlyspillingmyperfectconcoctionofcaffeine.

“Whatthehell?”Igasp,glaringathim.“Warnagirlbeforeyoucreepuponher.”
“Someone’sjumpythismorning.”Hemovesaroundmeandgrabsamugforhimself.
Iwatchashepoursitandinstantlytakesasip.
“Gross.”Imakeagaggingnoise.“Howcanyoudrinkthatblack?”
“Ican’tdrinkbasicbitchcoffee,Vi.”Hetakesanothersipjusttotauntme.
“Atleastaddsomesugar.”
Hewrinkleshisnoseandshakeshishead.“What’supwithyourcrapbythedoor?Didyoufinally

getyourlettertoHogwarts?”

Iglareathim.“He’sgotjokes,”Isaywithmockamusement.
“So,whichhousewillyoubesortedin?SlytherinorGryffindor?Actually,nowI’mthinking

you’remoreofaHufflepuff.”Hislipscurlintoacockysmirk.

“You’resuchajerk!”Iplayfullyswingathim,buthe’sallmusclesandbarelyflinches.“You

bettertakethatback!”Itrytoholdbacklaughter,butthewayhedodgesmyhitsmakesithard.

“Youhitlikeagirl,”hequips,smirkingoverhismug.
Irollmyeyes.“Iamagirl,”Isay.“Agirlwhousedtokickyourass,too.”
Hesnorts.“Youmean,Iletyoukickmyass.”
“You’resuchaliar!”
Hetiltshisheadatme,daringmetochallengehim.
“Youknow,forsomeonewhomocksHarryPotterallthetime,yousuredoknowalotaboutit.”I

crossmyarmsandgivehimanevilgrinbecauseIknowhe’sjustasnerdyasIam.Hejustlikesto

hideitbehindhisbigmuscles,inkedarms,andshinybadge.

“I’veseenthemoviesahundredtimes,thankstoyou.Onlynerdsreadthebooks.”
Isnarl.“Areyoutryingtopissmeoffthisearlyinthemorning?”
Hefinisheshiscoffeewithasmirkonhisface,eventhoughI’veonlytakenasinglesipofmine.

Afterpouringanothercupofcoffeeandchuggingit,hespeaksupagain.“I’mpickingTravisupfrom
thehospitalinafew.IaskedtheChiefifIcouldcomeinalittlelatertodaybecausehe’sbeing
dischargedanyminute.Wannarideuptherewithme?”

“Nah,I’mgood.”Itrytoputonmybestpokerface,butI’mnotsurehowconvincingIlook.I

didn’tdarementionIalreadyknew.Ihidemyexcitementandputupmyfront.Ipretendtofeel
indifferentabouthimcominghome,thoughmyheartinstantlyracesatthesoundofhisnameandI
stillhaveamillionquestions.

“Allright.Well,Ishouldbebackinafewhoursthen.”
“Okay.”Iavoideyecontact,takinganotherdrinkofthebestcoffeeintheworld,hopingitwill

covermyemotionsthatarereadytoboilover.IexhaleandlookatDrew.He’sstaringatmeintently,
andforamomentIwonderwhatthehellhe’sgoingtoaskme.Doesheknow?No.He’snotsmiling
oranything,andIbegintofreakout.

“What?”Iask,reluctantly.
Drewsetshisemptycupdown.
“It’saboutyouandTravis.”
MyheartracesandIinstantlyshakemyheadatthewayhe’slookingatme.Ifighttheurgetosay

anythingincaseI’mbeingparanoid.

“Askmeanything,”Ilie,channelingmyinnerTravisKingisanassholeactthatI’veperfected

overtheyears.Iswallowhard,watchingandwaitingforhimtospeak.DamnDrew.Theanticipation
eatsmealive.

“Ineedafavor.”
“Classstartstomorrow,andIwon’treallybearoundtodoanymorefavors.”
Inodmyheadtowardmybagsthatarewaitingformeatthefrontdoor.
“Well,see...that’snotreallygoingtoworkforme.OrTravis.”
Mymouthfallsopen.He’swaysmarterthanhelooks,andIknowwhateverhe’sabouttosayhas

alreadybeenworkedoutinhishead.Evenwhenwewerekids,hewasanegotiator,andnotmuchhas
changedsincethen.

“Thisweekbetweenclasses,doyouthinkyoucouldcomeoverandcheckonhim?”Heflashesa

genuinesmile,oneofthosecharmingsmirksthatmakegirlslikeCourtneyswoon.Beinghissister,I
haveageneticimmunitytohischarm.

“Iwon’thavetime,”Isaywithcertainty,hopingIsoundconvincing,butIknowIcanmakeit

work.

Allhedoesislaugh,notbelievingmywords.
“Iwon’tbearoundtohelphim,butsinceyou’rerightdowntheroad...”
“Don’tactlikeyoudon’tgoofoffwhenyou’reonpatrol.Allthosedonuts...”
“Numberone:Idon’teatthatshit,andyouknowit.Numbertwo:Youalreadysurvivedhimduring

springbreak,sowhat'reafewhoursbetweenclasses?”

Focusingonmycoffee,Idon’thaveanywords.AtleastnotanyIcansayaloud.Allsortsof

thoughtsarerunningthroughmymind,butDrew’svoicebringsmebacktoreality.

“Look,Iknowyoucan’tstandtobeinthesameroomashim,andyou’llprobablypoisonhimby

theweekend,buthereallyneedsyou,andyou’realittlegenius,soyoudon’tneedtostudyasmuchas
youdo.”

Myheartfeelslikeitmaybeatoutofmychest.Mypalmsaresweaty,andDrewisenjoyingputting

meonthespotalittletoomuch.

“Please,Vi.I’llevenhaveStarbuckswaitingforyouafterclass.”
Fightingasmile,Isay,“Wow,youreallyaredesperate.”Ialmostfeelbadforplayinghimlike

this.

“I’ddoanythingforTravis,”hestatessogenuinely.“ButIcan’tbelatetoworkevenifIbegged.

TheChiefwillhavemyhead,andmypartnerwon’ttakemyshit.”

Iletoutadeepbreath,actingdefeated.“Allright,fine.Butyouowemehuge.AnyfavorthatIcan

useatanytimeIwant.”

Drewholdsouthishand,andweshakeonit.“Deal.I’llallowyoutocashinononereasonable

favor.I’macop,notamillionaire.”

Ismile.“VentiWhiteMocha.”
“Whatthehelldoesthatmean?”Helooksutterlyconfused,andIchuckleathisexpense.
“MyStarbucksorder.IwantaVentiWhiteMochawithanextrashotandablueberrymuffin.”
“Wait,Ididn’tagreeonthemuffin—”
Ishoothimalook,challenginghimtofallbackonourdeal.
“Fine,”hestatesbetweengrittedteeth.“Youplaytobustballs.”
“It’soneofmybestqualities,”Isaywithacheesygrin.
“Youhavetoactuallybehelpful,though,Vi.He’sgoingtobesoreandonpainmeds.Justmake

himsomelunchandmakesurehestayshydrated.”

“So,playBettyCrockerandgreethisone-nightstandsatthedoor?”Thewordsleavemymouth

beforeIcanstopmyself.

Heshakeshisheadatmewithaknowinggrin.“IfIdidn’tknowanybetter,I’dsayyoutwowere

secretlyinlovewitheachother.”

Inearlychokeonmysaliva.
“Relax,Iwasjustkidding.”Hepatsmeontheback.“Anyway,Igottaheadout.TheChiefabout

hadananeurysmwhenIaskedforahalf-day.”

Hewalksoverandwrapshisbigarmsaroundme,squeezingmesotightithurts.Isquealandtry

towiggleoutofhistightgrip.He’salwaysbeensomuchbiggerthanme,andheknowshowmuchI
hateitwhenhehugsmelikethatbecauseit’spainful.“Drew,stop!”

“You’rethebestlittlesisterever.”Hereleasesme,andbeforehewalksoutofthekitchen,heturns

andsmiles.“Thanksagain.Itmeansalottome,andIknowit’llmeanalottohim.He’llappreciatethe
help,evenifhedoesn’tsayit.”

WhenIhearthedoorclickshut,Iletoutadeepsigh.AsmuchasIshouldbekeepingmydistance

whileTravisisinthiscondition,Ican'tfathomthethoughtofhimbeingaloneallweekwhilehe's
recovering.

IreachformyphoneandtextCourtney,lettingherknowthenewplan.I’llinviteheroverand

allowhertodrooloverDrewonenightthisweek.

V:DrewgavemehisstupidbeggingeyesandbribedmewithStarbucks.I’vebeenvoluntoldto
takecareofTravisallweek,butI’mnotcomplaining.

C:IcouldstareintoDrew’sgorgeouseyesforhours.Ican’twaittocomeoverand“visit.”It’s
almostasifDrewissettingyouupfor“success”...ifyouknowwhatImean.

V:Focus,Court.Andgross.I’lltextyouoncehe’shome.

Igrabmybagsandboxesandcarrythemouttomycar.Returningtoschooltomorrowisalmost

bittersweet.AfterIplaceeverythinginmytrunk,IheadbacktoDrew’sroomandwait.Isitonthe
edgeofthebed,andfallbackandstareattheceiling.TherealizationthatI’mgoingtobehere
betweenclassesmakesmefeelmorenervousthanbeforeaboutbeingaroundTravis.Butseeinghim
bruisedandbrokenisgoingtokillme.

Istartlefromthebedatthesoundofthefrontdoorclosing.IlookaroundandrealizeImust’vefallen
asleep.IcheckmyphoneandseeafewmessagesDrewsentlettingmeknowtheywereonthewayand
theywerealmosthome.

IcanhearthefaintsoundofDrew’svoicefollowedbythemuffledsoundsofTravis’voice.

Momentslateralightknocktapsagainstthedoor,andIsitstraightup,hairamess,andyellthatit's
open.

Drewcracksopenthedoor.“Travisisinbed.He’sprettytired,andIhavetogettowork.Ifhe

wakesupandneedssomething,canyouhelp?”

“Doesthismeanhousearrestbeginsnow?”
“That’sagreatidea.MaybeIcanseeaboutgettingyouoneofthoseanklebraceletsforconvicts

soIcantrackyoureverymove.”

Irollmyeyesathim.
“Thanks,sis!You’rethebest.”Drewwinksbeforeheshutsthedoor.
Itrytoconcentrateonmybreathing,butallIcanheararethehardbeatsofmyheart.Standingup,

Ibrushmyfingersthroughmyhair,thenadjustmyshirtandmakesureIlookcompletelyunaffected
beforeslippingoutofDrew’sroom.IwalktheshortdistancedownthehalltoTravis’roombutstop
beforeopeningit.

Ican’tbelievehowanxiousIfeelrightnow,seeinghimforthefirsttimesincethehospital.Ihave

noideawhatheremembersorifheremembersmebeingthereatall.Idon’tknowwhattoexpect,
consideringourphoneconversationwassoshort.Theunknownhasbeenandcontinues,drivingme
crazy.

Swallowinghard,Isoftlyknockonthedoor.
“Comein.”Iheartheweaknessinhisvoice,andittakeseverythinginmetomovemyfeet.
IpushopenthedoorandseeTravisproppeduponpillows.Hisfaceisslightlyswollenand

bruised,anditlookslikehehasn’tsleptindays,thoughthat’sallhe’sbeendoingforaweek.Icringe
whenIstudythebandagesonhisheadwhereitsmackedintotheglass.

Hewatchesmyexpression.“Youshouldseetheotherguy.”Hislipsturnupinacockysmirk.
Ishakemyheadandlickmylipsthatsuddenlyfeeldry.“I’msureitwasanunfairmatch.”
“Well,fourthousandpoundsofbadassmusclecaragainstaneighty-thousand-poundsemiwasn’t

exactlyafairfight,buthey,Ilivetotellthetale.”Hesmilesasifhe’stryingtomakemelaughand
bringlighttothesituation,whichitpartiallydoes,giventheawkwardcircumstances.

“Well,Iwasreallyworriedaboutyou,”Isay,takingastepinsidebutnotgettingtooclose.“I’m

reallygladyou’reokay.”Theconcernisevidentinmytone,andmypokerfaceisquicklyfadingthe
moreIlookathim.

“Princess,comehere.”Hiseyesarehooded,hisvoicesoundingpainedfrommydistance.My

heartsinks,andIwanttoruntohimandtalktohimabouteverything,butmyexpressiondoesn’t
change.MyfeetfeelliketheyaregluedtothefloorandIcan’tmove,notwithhiseyesonme,
lookingatmesointenselythatitmakesmeweak.

“Isitsafe?”Itiltmylipsupslightly.
“Iwon'tbreak,”heinsists.

“Clearly.”
Hepatshispalmonthebednexttohim.
“Idon'twanttohurtyou,though,”Isay,hesitating.
“Trustme.TheonlythingkeepingmegoingthepastcoupleofdayswasknowingI'dgettosee

yourbeautifulfaceandkissyoursoftlips.”

“Well,Iseetheaccidentdidn’taffectyourabilitytocharm.”
“It’dtakealotmorethanthat.”Hewinks.
Igiveinandsitontheedgeofthebednexttohim,carefultokeepmydistance.
“Iknowweshouldprobablytalk,”Ibegin,“butwhenyou’refeelingbetter.Youshouldberesting

soyoucangetbacktoyourcocky-assself.”

“Let’stalknow,”heinsists,pushinghimselfuphigheronthepillows,butIcantellbythewayhe

cringesthathisbodyisstillsore.

Ishakemyhead.“Whenyoufeelbetter,wewill.You’realldruggeduponpainmeds.”
“Itdoesn’thavetowait,I’mfine,”hetriestobrushoffthepain,butIcanseerightthroughhis

bullshit.

“Really?”Igivehimapointedlook.“Howmanyelementsareintheperiodictable?”
Hefurrowshisbrows.“Seventy-five?”
“Wrong.It’sonehundredandfourteen!”Irespondconfidently.“See,you’renotintherightstate

ofmind.”

Heleanshisheadbackandlaughs.Iwatchashisthroatmovesandthinkaboutthelasttimewe

weretogetherinhisbed.“Tobefair,Iwouldn’tknowtheanswertothatquestion,eitherway,you
littlenerd.”

Inarrowmyeyesathimandholdbackasmile.
“Lookatus—havinganactualconversationwithoutarguing,”hesays,coveringhishandover

mine.

“Don’tgetcocky,”Itease.“Whenthedrugsarealloutofyoursystem,you’llbebacktopissing

meoff,I’msure.”

“IcandothatwhileI’mondrugs,”hemocks.
IlaughbecausethisisthefirsttimeinyearsTravisandIhavehadanormalconversation.
“Gladtoseenothing’schangedthen.”
“Princess,comeon.ImightbebruisedinplacesIdidn’tevenknowcouldbruise,andmyribs

mightbefracturedandhurtlikeamotherfucker,butIcanseethequestionswrittenalloveryourface.
So,justaskme.Youknowyoucanaskmeanything.”

Ipullmylipsintomymouthandexhalethroughmynose.“Fine.WhywasMianakedinyour

backseat?”

“Goingrightforthejugular,”heteases.
MaybeIshouldn’thaveblurtedthatout.
“Nevermind.”Istartshiftingoffthebed.
“Wait...Viola,pleasedon’tgo,”hepleads,andIwait.“There’salotweneedtotalkabout.I’vebeen

lyinginbedthelastweek,andthephysicalpainisnothingcomparedtohavingyouwalkawayfrom
me,knowingIcan’tchaseyou.”

“Thenjusttellme,becausethethoughtofyouwithsomeoneelsemakesmesick.”
“Viola,it’snotwhatyou’rethinking.”
Iexhale,staringintentlyathim.“So,girlsjustmagicallyendupnakedinthebackseatofyour

car?”

“Well,Irecallyouinthebackseatofmycarnotsolongago...”Hesmirks,andIhatethatthe

memorysendsshiversdownmyspine.“Butwhydon’tyouaskmewhatyoureallywanttoknow.”

Heatrushesthroughme,andI’mtooscaredtoaskiftheyhadsex.Thetruthis,Iwanttoknow

everything,everydetail.ButI’mafraiditwillbreakmyheartintoamillionlittlepieces,andI’mnot
sureifIcanhandlethatagain.

Ishrug,notsurewheretoevenstart.IlikethissideofTravis—sweetandvulnerable,eventhough

Iknowitwon’tlastlong.“Idon’tthinkIcanhandleknowingrightnow.”

“YouwanttoknowforthesamereasonIwantedtopunchAxel’sfacein.”
“Andrew,”Icorrect.
Herollshiseyes.“So,justsaywhateveritisyou’resobusyoverthinkingabout.”
Islidefartherontothebed,leaningmybackagainstthewallandcrossingmylegs.“Whichpart?

Whyyouwereinsuchashittymoodwhenyougothomefromwork?Whydidyouevenleavethe
house?Whywouldn'tyoutalktome?Howdidyouendupoutofthecity,withDrew’scrazyex-
girlfriend?Imean,Idon’tevenknowifIwanttoknowtheanswerstothequestionsswirlingaround
inmymind.”

“Andwhyshewasnakedinthebackseatofmycar?”Hearchesabrow,knowingdamnwellit’s

drivingmeinsane.

“Well,Icandothemathinmyhead,”Isayshyly,bowingmyheadbecauseIdon’tthinkI’m

strongenoughtohearit.

“Youreallythinkthat?”Ihearthepaininhisvoice,andIcringeatthewayhiswordscutthrough

me.

“Well,yourtrackhistoryisn’tverypromising.Likewhenyouaskedmyfriend,HeatherMcNeil,

outandpromisedheragoodtime,onlytoditchheratthemovietheaterwhenyouranintoBetsySt.
Clairandendedupmakingoutwithherintheparkinglot.”

“Iwasadumbkid,”hesays,“runningonhormones.”
Ichuckle,agreeing.“Well,I’mnotsosuremuchhaschanged.”Iknowmywordscatchhimoff

guard,buthereachesformyhandandignoresmycomments.Idon’tknowifthisisgoingtobethe
endofwhateverwehad,or...

“Youknowyou’regoingtohavetolearntotrustme,nowthatwe’retogether.”
Hiswordsstopmythoughts,andI’mimmediatelysilenced.
Ilookupandseeasmilespreadacrosshisface,hisfingersgrippingminetighter.
“Oh?”Mybrowsrise.“We’retogethernow?”
“Well,yeah.Doyouseeanyothergirlswalkingaroundhere?”
Iburstoutineasylaughter.“Giveitafewdays.I’msurethey’llbehereinnotime.”
“GuessIdeservedthat.”Hegrins,rubbingthepadofhisthumbovermyhand.“Youknowyoucan

trustme,Viola.”Hisvoicesoundssincere.“Imaybealotofthings,butI’veneverliedtoyou.”

He’sright.TravisKingmaybealotofthings,buthe’snotaliar.He’salwaysbeenhonestand

straightforwardabouteverything.Evenwhenhishonestwordsweren’twhatIwantedtohear.

“So,Miabeingnakedinyourbackseat?”Icringeatsayingthewordsaloudagain.“Nothing

happenedbetweenyoutwo?”

“Viola?”Heplaceshisfingerundermychinandlockshiseyesonmine.“Doyoutrustme?”
He’snotexactlyansweringthequestion,butdeepinside,Idotrusthim.RememberingwhatDrew

saidbackatthehospital,Traviswouldneverbetrayhim.

Inod.
“Good,becauseI’mnotsharingyouwithanyoneelse.”
“Youcan’tjustbeacavemanandclaimme,”Iteaseashisthumblingersovermybottomlip.
“Sure,Ican.You’remine.”
Goosebumps.

Hiswordssendshiversdownmyspineathowgenuinehiswordssound.It’severythingI’veever

wantedtohearhimsay.

ButIwon’tgiveinthateasy.Atleastnotrightaway.
“Comecloser,”hesays.
“Youaren’tthebossofme,TravisKing.”
Hesmirks,knowingdamnwellI’mfullofshit.“Ithinkwebothknowthat’snottrue.I’vehadyou

countinguntilyoulostyourvoice.”Hislipsturnup,obviouslyveryimpressedwithhimself.

“Soarrogant.”Isigh.“Somethingsneverchange.”Ishakemyhead,tryingtoholdbackasmile.
“Andsomethingsdo,”hesays,cuppingmyface.“Nomoregames.”Herubsthepadofhisthumb

overmycheek,andInearlymeltintohim.Ifheweren'tinjured,I’dbereadytostripallhisclothes
off.

Inodinagreement.“Nomoregames.”
Iknowwe’lleventuallyneedtohaveaconversationaboutthatnightandtalkaboutwhatall

happened,butIalsoknowItrusthim.Evenafterallthehurt,anger,andheartache,TravisKingwill
alwaysbetheboyIlovedasachild.

Hepullsmetowardhim,pressinghislipstomine.It’snothinglikeourpreviouskisses.Thisone

isslow,soft,andpassionate.Idon’tpushformorebecauseIknowhe’susingeveryounceofenergy
tokissme.

Ipullback,eventhoughIdon’twantto.SittingnexttoTravis,Imakesuretoavoidtouchingor

puttingpressureonhim.

“SinceI’llbedroppingbybetweenclasses,thereneedtobesomerules.”
Hegrinsslightly.“There’stheVI’musedto.”
IrollmyeyesattheVcomment.“Wehavetoactlikenothing’schangedinfrontofDrew.And

whileyou’rehurt,nosexorsexualinnuendosormakingsexualcomments.”

Hegroans.“You'rejustlikethenursesatthehospital.Nofun.”
“Youmeantheydidn’tturntomushattheTravisKingcharm?”
“Nope.Wouldn’tevenletmegettosecondbase.”
Irollmyeyesagainandfighttheurgetocurseandkisshim.“Howrudeofthem.”
“ButatleastI’mbackhomewithmyownprivatenurse.”Hewinks.“Ifthere’sgoingtobethisno

sexrule,canyouatleastprovideotheraccommodationsforyourpatient?”

Ithrowmyheadbackandlaughathisridiculousness.“I’mstartingtowonderiftheymissed

somethingwhentheydidyourbrainscan.”

Hepullsmecloseragain,butwincesbeforeourlipsmeet.
“Youneedtorest.”Ipressahandsoftlyagainsthischest.“Takesomemedsandgetsomesleep.

I’llbeherewhenyouwakeup.”Ismile,andhesmiles,too.

Iwatchashegrabshismedicinebottleoffhisnightstandandtakesoutacoupleofpills.He

swallowsthemdownwithsomewaterandsettlesagainstthepillows,adjustinghisicepackbefore
finallysettlingin.Oncehiseyesflutterclosed,Icarefullyscootoffthebedandleandowntokisshis
cheek.JustasI’mwalkingtowardthedoor,hespeaksup,stoppingmeinmytracks.“Iloveyou,Viola
Fisher.”

CHAPTERFOUR

TRAVIS

Wakinguphourslater,hungerandsorenessbothfightformyattention.Myphonesaysit’sthree

intheafternoon.MybodysaysIneedoutofthisbed.Ineedtoeat,butmoreimportantlyIneedViola.

Ihateaskingforhelp,butI’minnopositiontoallowmypridetorule.Butfirst,I’lltry.After

managingtorollmyselfoutofbed,Istandwiththehelpofafewchoicewords.Ishoweredatthe
hospitalbeforeIwasdischargedanditwasthemosthumiliatingthingI’veexperiencedinmylife.
NancyandIhadformedadecentrelationshipatnight,butoncehershiftended,Helentookover;let’s
justsayshewasmuchlesspatientwithme.Shewasanursesentstraightfromthepitsofhell.

OnceI’moutofmyroom,IwalkdownthehalltowhereIheartheTVandViola’ssweetlaughter.

Yes,thisishome.IinstantlysmilewhenIhearher.

Ipauseforasecondandtakeadeepbreath,watchingher,curledupinthecornerofthecouch

withablankettossedoverherlegs.She’sfocusedonsomechickflick,andI’mfocusedonher.Iclear
mythroatafteramoment,andsheturnsandlooksatme,concernonherface.

“Youfeelingokay?”Shemovesoverslightly,givingmeroomthatIwishshedidn’tfeelshe

needstogiveme.Iwantherascloseaspossible.

Isitonthecouchnexttoher,andshewatchesme.
“Neverfeltbetter.”
Shesmiles.
“YoumindifIwatchthiswithyou?”InodtowardtheTV.
Sheflashesmealook.“YouwanttowatchBridgetJones’Diarywithme?”
Iswallowmywordsofdisdainandplasteronacockygrin.“Yeah,ofcourse.BJ’smyhomegirl.”
Sheburstsoutlaughing,herheadfallingbackasasweetroarreleasesfromherthroat.“Oh,my

God,”shesaysbetweentears.“Ishouldberecordingthis.”

“Recordingwhat?”Ifurrowmybrows.
“You.”Shewipesunderhereyes.“You’reashighastheEmpireStateBuilding.”
Isnort.“Getyourmindoutofthegutter,princess.BJisBridgetJones,not—”
“Okay!”sheinterruptsbeforeIcancontinue,afaintblushcoveringhercheeks.
Irollmyeyesatherexpense,gettinganotherchuckleoutofher.
Itrytofocus,butIcan’t.“Areyougoingtocatchmeuponwhateverthehellishappening?”
“IthoughtBJwasyourhomegirl?”shethrowsback,thecornerofherlipsturningupasshe

continueswatchingthemovie.ThisistheViolaIadore—simple,funny,cute.God.IwishIweren’tin
pain.IwishThursdaynightwould’veneverhappenedandIcouldpullherintomylap.

“Sheis;Imean,sheremindsmeofacornier,klutzieryou.”
“Rude!”SheplayfullysmacksmeonthearmbeforerealizationhitsthatI’malreadybruised.

“Shit!I’msorry!”Shecloseshereyesforamoment.“Ididn’tmeantohityou.”

“Justanaturaltwitch?”Ismirk,notwantinghertofeeltoobad.
Shecocksherhead.
“Lightenup,princess.”
“Areyouhungry?”sheaskssincerely,changingthesubject.
“Yes.”

“Whatareyouhungryfor?”
Myeyeswidenasmylipstiltupinacockypout.“Well...”
“Food,”sheclarifies.“Imeant,whatkindoffoodareyouhungryfor?”
“WhydoyouassumeIwasgoingtosaysomethingelse?”
Sherollshereyes,shiftingherbodytowardme.“BecauseIknowyou.Youhaveadirtymind.”
“Andyou’regoingtodenyabrokenmanhisdyingwish?”Iarchabrow.
“Youaren’tdying,butyouaredefinitelybeingoverlydramatic.”Myeyesfollowherasshestands

upandwalkstowardthekitchen.“Mymotheralwaystoldmeamanisthebiggestbabywhenhurtor
sick.Guessshewasright.”

Ilaugh,knowinghermotherwellenoughtoknowshewouldsaysomethinglikethat.
“Areyoucallingmebaby?”Ishout,hopingtogetareactionoutofher.
“Ababy,yes.”Shepeeksherheadaroundthewallwithaliftedeyebrow.
“Fine,I’llmakemyownfood.”Ishiftoffthecouch,tryingtopropmyselfup.
Shewalksbackinandpointsherfingeratme.“Sitbackdown.Drewwillhavemyheadifhe

thinksI’mnothelping.”

“Stillafraidofyourbigbrother,huh?”Iaskinamusement.
Shecrossesherarms.“No.ButIdon’twanttohearaboutitfromeitherofyou.”
“Whateveryousay,princess.”Isitbackonthecouchasshewalkstowardthekitchen.
“Don’tmakemepoisonyoursandwich,King,”sheshoutsloudenoughtobeheard,butIcanhear

thesmileinhertone.

“I’veassumedyou’vebeendoingthatallalong,V.”

Shesauntersinwithtwosandwichesandabagofchips,andI’mgratefulforsomethingotherthan
Jell-Oandjuice.

“Enjoy,”shesays,pickinguphersandwichandtakingabitewithasideofanevilgrin.
Afteraverytastyunpoisonedsandwichandfinishingupasecondchickflick,Violafallsasleep

againstthearmofthecouch.Idesperatelywanttolienexttoherandwrapmyarmsaroundher,butI
knowthat’dbeplayingwithfire.Drew’sbeengoneforhours,andIcanonlyimaginethatthemoment
I’mtooclosetoViola,he’dcomeprancingbackin.

Instead,Igrabtheblanketthat’sfallenfromherbodyandcoverherbackup.Shelooksabsolutely

breathtaking.Herchestrisesandfallsevenly,andherlipsarelinedinasoftpout.Imissthetasteof
herlips,andIdesperatelywanttokissthemagain.

ButIcan’t.
IfI’mgoingtoprovemyselftoher,thatshecantrustmeandthatI’mallin,Ineedtochangethe

game.

AfterturningofftheTV,Islowlymakemywaybacktomyroomandsleepoffanotherroundof

painmeds.TheymakemesodamndrowsythatIcanbarelyseestraight.AsIsinkintothesheetsand
mybodygoesnumb,mythoughtsdrifttoViolaandthegirlwhosatupontherooftopwithmewhen
wewerejustkids.

“What’syourfavoritemovie?”sheaskedme,twirlingherdarkhairaroundherfingers.
“Hmm...”Ithoughtaboutitforamoment.“LordoftheRings,probably.I’veseenitoveradozen

timesnow.”

Sherolledhereyesandsighed.“That’sboring.”
“Wellthentellmeyours,ifyouthinkit’ssomuchbetterthanmine.”
Shesmiledandlookedupattheskythatwasfadingtoblack.“Nolaughing,”shewarned,andI

flashedheradevioussmile.

“Nopromises.”
Sheglaredbackatme.“ThenI’mnottellingyou.”
“C’mon,I’mjustkidding.Whatisit?”
Sheshookherheadnoandpretendedtozipupherlips.
IreachedoverandpokedherinthesidewhereIknewshewasticklish.
“Stopit!”shesquealed,herfeetkickingtowardme.“Fine!I’lltellyou!”
Ireleasedher,butthetouchofherwarmskinonminedoesn’tgounnoticed.
“Allright,spillit.”
“13Goingon30,”shesaidwithashylookinhereyes.I’dseenherwatchingthatseveraltimes

sinceitcameout,soI’mnotsurprised,butthatdidn’tstopmefromteasingheraboutit.

“That’sbecauseyouhaveahugecrushonMarkRuffalo!”
“Isnot!”Shepushedbothhandsagainstme,andIlaughed.
Isnorted.“Typicalchickflick.”
“Ohreally,LordoftheRings?That’satypicalguyflick.”
“Mendon’thaveguyflicks,”Icorrected.“Wehaveactionmovies.”
Sherolledhereyesagain.“Boring.”
“Soarechickflicks,”Icountered.
“So,you’dneverwatchachickflickthen?”
“Noway.I’dlosemymancard.”
TheonlyreasonIknewtheterm‘mancard’wasbecauseDrewhadsaiditseveraltimestome.He

mockedmeforhangingoutwithViola,butItriedtoignoreit.

Thesoundofthefrontdoorclosingshakesthehouseandwakesme.Ithinkaboutthememoryand

howcloseViolaandIoncewere.Wehadformedafriendshipthatwasbondedandfulloftrust.Iwant
tofeelthatagain.Mostimportantly,Iwanthertofeelthatagain.

“Travis,areyouawake?”Drew’svoicecomesfromthehallwayasheknocksquietlyonmydoor.
“Yeah,comeonin.”Ipushmyselfupandleanagainsttheheadboard.“What’swithallthe

commotion?”Iaskoncehestepsinside.

“Oh,sorry.Iwenttothegymforacoupleofhoursafterwork,andthenIdidsomegrocery

shoppingandboughtyouafewthings.”

Iraisemybrows.“Really?Gettingalldomesticforme?”
“Youwish,”hespitsback.“ButIfiguredyou’dgetsickofViola’sPB&Jspecialtysandwiches

prettysoon,soIgrabbedyousomecansofsoup,ramennoodles,andchips.”

“Bonappétit,”Itease.
“I’llbringdinnerhomeafterworktomorrow,butyouguysareonyourownforbreakfastand

lunch.”

“Thanks,man.Appreciateit.”
“HopefullyVioladoesn’tstrangleyoubeforetheweek’sover.”
Ishrug,hopinghedoesn’tseerightthroughme.“Ithinkmycharmisstartingtowinherover.”
Helaughs.“Right.That’llbetheday.”

VIOLA

Thumpingfromthekitchenstartlesmeawake,makingmenearlyfalloffthecouchbeforeI

realizewhereIam.Ablanketisoverme,andIvaguelyrememberTraviscoveringmeupbeforeIfell
deeper.

“Jesus,Drew!”Iscold,lookingovermyshouldertowheretheracketiscomingfrom.

Hepopshisheadaroundthekitchenwallandfrowns.“Sorry,Ididn’trealizeyouwerecatnapping

onthecouchthatyouhatesleepingon.”

“Maybeyoutwoshouldthinkaboutgettinganupgrade.You’vehadthiscouchsinceyouwere

freshmen.”Istandandfoldtheblanketandthrowitovertheback.“Whatthehellareyoudoing
anyway?”

“Unpackinggroceries.IfigureditwastheleastIcoulddoformakingyouhelpthisweek.”
“It’sfine.He’llprobablysleepmostofthetimeanyway.”Iwalktowardthekitchenandseebags

coveringthecounter.“Didyoubuyoutthewholestore,orwhat?”

“Well,Iwasn’tsurewhatyouwantedorwhatyoucouldmakewithoutburningit,soIgotalittle

ofeverything.”

Iarchabrowandpout.“Funny.”
Heshrugs,unapologetically.“Iknow.”
Ihelpunpackeverythingandputitaway,althoughIhavenoideawherehewantsallthisstuff,soI

justrandomlyputtheminthepantry.

“I’mgoingtocheckonTravis,”hesaysaswefinishunpacking.“Ihavethreemorebagsinthe

car...ifyoudon’tmindgrabbingthem?”Heflashesawidegrinmydirection,knowingIcan’tsayno.

Igroan.“Fine.Youbetterhaveboughticecream.”
HewinksbeforewalkingawayandheadingdownthehalltoTravis’room.Igrabtherestofthe

bagsandunloadthemallbeforeIhearDrewwaltzbackin.“Thatwasfast.”

“WellIwasn’tsurewhereeverythingwent,soIjuststuffedthemallintothesamecupboard.”I

flashhimanevilsmileasItosstheemptybagsintherecyclingbin.“ButIdidmanagetoputthecold
itemsinthefridge.”

“WhydoyouenjoyingmessingwithmyOCD?”Icanalmostseethetwitchinhiseyesandlaugh.
“Becauseit’sjusttoodamneasy.”
Hegroansandbeginsopeningthedoorstothecupboardsandpantry.“Jesus,Vi.”
“That’swhatyouget.”
“Forwhat?”heaskswithgenuineconfusion.
“Formakingmedropbybetweenclassesandcuttingintomystudytime,”Ithrowbackinhisface

eventhoughIdon’tminditthatmuch.

“Well,accordingtoTravis,you’recomingaroundtohischarm.”
Myheartbeginstoraceinpanic.“What?”Igasp,turningtoreadhisexpression.“What’sthat

mean?”

“Relax,”hesays,chucklingatmyexpense.“You’resojumpytoday.”
“Amnot!”Iargue,althoughit’sachildishmove.
“Man,IhopeTravislivestoseethisweekend.”Hecracksagrin.“Should’vewarnedhimhe’dbe

roomingwithAuntFlo,too.”

“Oh,myGod!”Isqueal,throwingthefirstthingIcanreachoffthecounter.
Abanana.
“You’resuchanasssometimes!”Thewordscomeoutinbetweenlaughter,soI’mnottoo

convincing.“IamnotPMS-ing!”

“Could’vefooledme,”heteases,throwingthebananabackatme.
“IsthissomekindofweirdfamilytraditionI’munawareof?”Travis’questioncomesfrom

behindme,andtheclosenessofhisbodytominesendsathrilldownmyspine.

Drewchucklesandshiftsaroundme.“Needanything?”
“Nah,man.I’mfine.”
Travisglancestome,givingmealookthatmakesmewanttoaskwhathe’sthinking,butwith

Drewaroundus,IknowIhavetoactasIhadpre-hatefuck.

“Wouldyoulikemetoreserveyourdailyone-nightstandbeforeorafteryourdinner?”The

wordsshootoutofmymouthbeforeIcanstopthem,andtheslygrinthatspreadsacrossTravis’face
isn’tmissed.Iswallowdownmywords.Idon’twanttosaycrassthings,butI’vebeenondefense
modearoundTravisforsolongthatitcomesoutwhetherImeanittoornot.

Hesinkshisteethintohisbottomlipbeforereleasingitandreplacinghisexpressionwithacocky

grin.“Thatdepends.Areyouofferingtobemyappetizerormydessert?”Heleansagainstthewall
withhisarmscrossed,bothbrowsraised.It’seasyforhimtothrowwordsbackatme—lotsof
practice.

Myjawdropsathisaudacity,especiallyinfrontofDrew.Iknowit’sagameIhavetoplay,butthat

doesn’tmeanI’mgoingtolethimmakeallthemoveswithoutafight.

“Well,youknowwhattheysay.Savethebestforlast.”
“ThenI’llchoosetoeatdessertfirst.”Hissmuglookburnsintome,andittakesallthewillpower

intheworldtowalkaway.

“Youtwoshouldn’tbeleftinthesameroomtogether,”Drewinterruptsourstaredown.“And

dude,”hesays,turningtoTravis,“youfractureyourribs,andyou’restillhittingonmysister?”

Heshrugswithasmirk.
“You’reluckyyou’realreadyhurt,orI’dbreaktherestofyourribs.”Iknowhe’sjoking,butthe

wayhesaysitsoundslikeagenuinethreat.Travismaybehisbestfriend,buthe’smadeitknownhe’d
neverapproveofTravismakingamoveonme.

“IbetIcouldtakeyou,brokenribsandall,”Travisteases,pushinghimwithhisgoodshoulder.
Drewflasheshimalookthatsaysotherwise.“Oh,please.”Hegoesbacktoreorganizingthe

cupboardsasTravisandIstandawkwardly.He’slookingintentlyatmelikehewantstosay
something,butthere’snothingelsetosay—especiallywithDrewaround.

“Well,IneedtomakesureIdidn’tforgetanythingaroundthehousebeforeIgo.I’vegotclass

brightandearly.”

IbeginwalkingawaybeforeDrewspeaksupagain.“Teninthemorningisn’tearly.Jointhe

Academyifyouwanttounderstandearly.”

IscoffandglanceatTravis,desperatelyneedingtoputdistancebetweenusbeforethingslook

suspicious.

AsIwalkoutofthekitchen,Ihearfootstepsbehindme.BeforeImakeittoDrew’sroom,Travis

grabsmyelbowandturnsmearound.

“Whatareyoudoing?”Iwhisper,feelingthebeatofmyracingheartinmyneck,knowingthat

Drewisinthenextroomandcouldroundthecorneratanysecond.

“Youmakemewanttodoreallybadthingstoyou.”
“Travis!”Ihissbetweengrittedteeth.“Wecan’tdothis.WehavetokeepuptheactaroundDrew

untilhe’sintheloop.Hereallywillbreakyourotherribsifhewalksinonsomething.”Ilookintohis
eyes,andthenpastthem,tomakesurewe’restillintheclear.Mynervesareonedge,andmy
emotionsaregoinghaywire.Ashismouthdipsinclosetomyear,aboltofelectricityforcesitsway
throughmyveins.Travisismydrug,andwhenI’mgettingmyfix,it’shardtoconcentrateon
anythingatall,butIknowIhaveto.

“YouknowIdon’tmeananyofthosebitchythingsIsay,right?”
Hegivesmeasidegrin.“Iknowit’sjustanact.Italwayshasbeen.”
Hiswordsbringmebacktoreality.
“Princess...Iwanttobetheonetotellhim.Iowehimthat.”
Iswallowhardandnodinagreement.“Whatareyougoingtosayexactly?”
“I’mgoingtosay,‘Oh,heyDrew.YoursisterandIhavebeenhavingdirtyrawsexforthepast

week,andwewanttokeepdoingit.’”

Ismileandslaphisarm.Traviswinces.
“Shit,I’msorry.It’sareflex.”
“I’llletyoumakeituptomelater.”

CHAPTERFIVE

TRAVIS

Lockingeyeswithher,Ifindthestrengthtowrapanarmaroundherwaistandpullhertomy

chest.It’sdangerous,andIknowwehavetokeepoursecretfornow,butIhavetotouchher.Her
breathhitchesasshefeelsthewarmthofourbodies,andit’sthefirsttimeI’vehadherthisclosesince
beforetheaccident.IfIdidn’tfeellikeI’djustgottenhitbyatruck,Iwouldn’tbesogentle.

ShelowershereyessoIcan’tlookintothem,andIsqueezeherhiptograbherattention.
“Viola,I’mgoingtotellhimthetruth,”Iwhisper,andshelooksupatme.
Iknowtheriskofthegamewe’replaying.Iknowwhatwehavetolose,butthere’ssomuchmore

towin.ViolaFisherhasalwaysbeenmine,andfinallybeingtogetheristheendgame.

“I’mgoingtotellhimIcan’tlivewithoutyou,andI’dlikehisblessing,”Iwhisper,brushingmy

thumbacrosshercheek.Mytouchforceshereyestomine,andIdon’tlethergo.I’llneverlethergo
again.Fuckthat.

“Youmeanthat?”
“Yes.”Idon’tmissabeatwithmyresponse.
Shetakesadeepbreathandrestsherheadagainstmychestbeforebreakingtheelectriccurrentof

ourbodiesbeingsoclose.Asmilefillsherface,andit’severythingIneedtoknow.Iwanttokissthe
fuckoutofher,butIknowit’stoorisky.

Shebitesherlowerlipandreleasesitbeforespeaking.“Justknow,ifyoubreakmyheartagain,

TravisKing,I’llbreakyourballs.”

“That’smyfirecracker,”Ismirk.Thoughmyfaceisbruisedandbroken,itstillcausesherbodyto

react.Ipressmylipsagainstthesoftnessofherneck,andshesighs.

Knowingit’lldrivehermad,Iplaceasoftkissonhercheekandreleaseher.Steppingaway,I

walktowardmyroom,feelinghereyesburnholesinthebackofmyhead.We’vebeenstandinginthe
hallwayforwaytoolong.Viola’sright,though;Drewcan’tfindoutbywalkinginonus.Ihaveto
findtherighttimetotellhim.

AsIwalktomyroom,Ifocusontakingsmall,calculatedsteps.BeforeIcanmakeittomybed,

Violaenters,andshe’sallworkedup.Slowly,Imanagetoclimbintobedandliedown.Withmy
handsbehindmyhead,Ismileather.She’ssopredictable.Ilovethatabouther.

Ilookathernipples.Hard.As.A.Rock.Asmyeyesroamdowntherestofher,shenoticesand

crossesherarmsandhuffs.

“It’sgoingtobereallyhardpretendingtohateyouwhenyoulookatmelikethat.”
Icantellshe’sfightingbackalaugh.
“So,doesthatmeanyoudon’thatemeanymore,princess?”
Shegroansloudlyandfinallycracksasmile.
Oncue,thedoorbarelyopensandDrewstepsin.“Whatthehell?”
Violaturnsandglaresathimwithherhandsonherhips.
“Whatdamagedidhemanagetodoalready?”
Withoutabeat,sheresponds,“Heknockedmytoothbrushoffthecounter,anditfellintothe

toilet.”

Myeyeswidenatthestoryshecreates.Iknowshewouldn’tlietoDrewnormally,butshe’sgood

atplayingthepart,sohedoesn’tgetsuspiciousbeforeIhavethechancetotellhim.

“Dude...”HelooksbehindViolaandstaresrightatme.
“Genuineaccident,”Isay,knowinghe’llthinkI’mfullofbullshit.
Violaturnstoscowlatme,knowingDrewiswatchingoureverymove.“Wasitagenuineaccident

whenyoudidn’ttellmeuntilafterIbrushedmyteeth?”

IhearDrewsnortbehindher,andIcan’thelpcrackingasmileatherperformance.
“Sorry,man.Can’thelpyououtofthisone,”hesaystome,andthenshutsthedoor,leavingusto

ripeachotherapart,oratleastthat’swhatitlookslike.Inanyothercircumstance,itmightseemodd
tohimthatViola’sinmyroom,butconsideringherreaction,itjustlookstypical.

“Greatacting.Youreallyshouldhavepursuedthattheaterdegree,”Isay.
Shescoffs.“I’mmuchbetteratreadingwordsthanrecitingthem.”
Pattingmyhandonthebed,Imotionforhertocomecloser.Hesitantly,Violacomescloserand

sitsontheedge.Hervoicedropstoawhisper,andsheleansintome.“Ihavetogo,butI'llbeback
tomorrowaftermymorningclass.”

Icuphercheekandbrushmylipsacrosshers.“Youbetter.”
Aftergrabbingmybottomlipinhermouthandtugging,sheforcesherselftostandbeforeI’m

abletotakeitanyfurther.

“So,tomorrow,”Ibegin,“I’mgoingtoneedsomehelptakingashower.”Iliftmyeyebrows

hopingshegetsthehint.

IknowshewantsustoworkasmuchasIdo,andI’mdeterminedtospendasmuchtimewithher

asIcan.Fucktherules.I’veneverbeenonetofollowthemanyway.

“I’msureDrewcanhelp,”sheteases.
Ismileathersweetlyandliftaneyebrow.“Don’tthinkso,princess.”
She’scontemplatingit,andIwishIcouldreadherthoughtsrightnow.Whenshebreaksasmall

smile,Iknowshe’sonboard.“Idon’treallyhaveachoice,doI?”

“So,it’sadate?”
Shefightsbacklaughter.“You’reridiculous.”
“Andyou’rebeautiful.”
Themoodshiftsandshestills.Violasearchesmyfaceasifshe’smemorizingitandIcan’tseem

totakemyeyesfromhers.

“Ifyou’retryingtowinmeover...”
“I’vebeentryingforyears,”Isaid,cuttingheroff.“Nothing’sgoingtostopmenow.”Iwink,

knowingit’lldrivehernuts.

“You’rerelentless,”shesaysbeforeflashingaquicksmile.Afteramoment,sheglancesoverat

theclock,thenbackatme.Iknowit’stimeforhertoleave,andI’mhalf-temptedtobeghertostay
andclimbinbedwithme.Butthat’sahorribleidea.

“Goodnight,Travis,”shesaysasshewalksacrosstheroom.
Beforeturningoffthelight,Violaturnsandsmilesatme.Thedoorclicksshut,andasIclosemy

eyes,theonlyimageIcanseeisher.

ThesunpeekingthroughtheblindswakesmeupsoonerthanI’dlike.Sleepinginthesameposition
allnightsucksass.Myneckisstiff,andmybackistight.Withallmystrength,Imovemylegstothe
floorandtrytostand.OnceI’mfinallyup,Islowlymakemywaytothebathroom.Ididn’trealize
somethingasnaturalaspissingcouldbesodifficultandpainful.

WhenIstepout,Ihearmusicechoingdownthehall,andasIwalktowardthekitchen,itgets

louder.Roundingthecorner,IseeVioladancingaroundthekitcheninat-shirtthatsaysDumbledore
ismyHomeboyontheback.IholdinlaughterasIwatchhershakeherhipsandbobherhead.She’s
holdingabowlandstirringitasshesingsalongwiththemusicblaringfromherphone.

Ileanagainstthewall,balancingmyselfwhilesilentlywatchingher.She’ssodistractedbywhat’s

she’sdoing,shedoesn’tevennoticeme.ThisistheViolaIlove.Theonethat’swildandfree,who
doesn’tgiveashitaboutanything.Herhairisupinamessybun,andshe’swearingherblack-rimmed
glasses.

Iclearmythroat,lettingherknowI’mbehindher.Shegoesfrigid,andthesmilefadesfromher

face.Icanseeherpulsebeatingrapidlyinherneck.

“Iwouldn’tmindwakinguptothiseveryday.”Iofferasmile,andsheblushes.
Sheswallowshard.We’realoneatlast,andshenoticesit,too.
“I’mbakingbananabread.ThoughtyoumightbehungryforsomethingbesidesJell-O.”Shepulls

inherbottomlipbeforereleasingitandflashingasmallsmile.

There’sashiftbetweenus,andIcantellshefeelsitaswell.Nolongerateachother ’sthroats,the

sexualtensionismoreintensethaneverbefore.

“Starving,”Ireply,gentlypushingoffthewallandwalkingtowardher.
Shelicksherlipsasshewatchesmyeverystep.Icupherfaceandpressasoftkissonherlips.Her

breathhitchesassheanticipatesmore,butIdon’tgivein.“How’dyousleep?”

Sheblinks.“Uh,fine,butDrew’sbediswaymorecomfortablethanmydormbed.You?”She

turnsandshutsoffthestovebeforeslidingthepanfromtheburner.

“Likeshit,butatleastthepainmedshelpedknockmeoutforafewhours.”
Sheturnsandoffersasinceresmile.“Well,goodthingtheonlyitemsonyouragendatodayareto

eatandrest.”

“Oh,don’tforgetmydailyrequiredlapdance.”
Shepointsafingeratme,tryingtoactstrong.“Breakingtherulesbeforebreakfast?”
“Rules?Whatrules?”Itease,knowingit’llgetherriledupandmaybeshe’llloosenupabit.
“YouknowexactlywhichrulesI’mtalkingabout.Theoneswediscussedwhenwehadourlittle

chatinyourbedyesterdaymorning.”

“Youwereinmybedyesterday?Wehadadiscussion?”
“Yes,afteryougothomefromthehospital.”Shelooksatme,waitingformetotellherI

remember.Shesighs.“Quitplaying.”Hershoulderstense,andshe’sstaringintentlyatme.

“Viola,I’msorry,butIdon’tremembertalkingtoyouyesterdaymorning.Iwasonatonof

painkillerswhenIleftthehospital.ThelastthingIrememberisDrewwakingmeupsometimeinthe
afternoonandsayinghewentgroceryshopping.”

Shestudiesme,waitingtoseeifI’llcrack.“Thenwhy’dyoukissmejustnow?”
Ishrug.“Habit,Iguess.Gorgeousgirlinmykitchenbakingseemslikeitrequiresamorning

kiss.”

“Areyoufreakingkiddingmerightnow?”Icanseeherlipstrembling,andIknowI’mgoing

straighttohellforthis.

“What?Why’dyoukissmeback?”Itrymydamnedesttokeepmystance,butthefirebrewingin

hereyesisjusttoofuckingmuchtokeepmystance.Sheseesmecracking,mylipsfightingthesmile
thatsoonappears.

Realizationsetsinandsoonthere’sawoodenspoonpointingrightinfrontofmyface.“I’m

goingtomurderyou!”shesaysbetweengrittedteeth.

Iburstoutinlaughter,takingastepbacktoavoidhermurderweapon.
“Youdon’tmeanthat.”Iflashheracharmingsmile,andsheglaresatmeinreturn.

Iwatchasshepoursthemixtureintoabreadpan,carefullyscrapingthebowlandlevelingthe

batteroutevenly.

I’mgratefulDrewboughtfoodfortheweek,butI’dmuchratherwakeuptoViolabakinginmy

kitchen.

Shegrabsacoffeecupfromthecounterandsipsit.
“YouwenttoStarbucksanddidn’tbringmeanything?”Iarchabrow,knowingdamnwellIdon’t

drinkherfancylattesandwhatever.

Sheglareswhileflashingacrookedsmile.“No.Drew’spayingformyservices.”
“AllittakesisStarbucks?”Ismirk.“Dulynoted.”
Sheplayfullyrollshereyesatme,andIlaugh.Theovenbeepsandsheplacesthebreadpan

inside,whichgivesmeaniceviewofherassasshebendsover.

Shenoticesandimmediatelyfrowns.“Nomischief,”shewarns.
“Ineveragreedtothat.”
“I’mheretohelpyouwithyourrecovery,andthat’sall,”shestatesinafirmtone,butIdon’t

believeawordofit.Iknowherwaytoowell.She’sonlysayingitaloudtoconvinceherself.

“You’retheworstliarI’veevermet.”
Shefurrowsherbrows,keepingasafedistancefromme,knowingdamnwellthatifIwereable,

I’dshowherexactlywhatImean.

“Howisitthatyoubruiseyourribsandgetallcutup,andyou’restillunabletobehaveyourself?”
Isteptowardher,tryingtoignorethepaininmyribcage,andwrapmyarmsaroundherwaist.

Shewatchesmyeverymove,herbreathhitchingthecloserIleanintoher.Mylipsbrushagainsthers,
tastingthesweetcoffeeflavoragainstmine.

IhearhergroanasIdeepenthekiss,butpullawaybeforegoinganyfurther.
“Nothingcouldcomebetweenmylipsandyourbody,princess.Bruisedribsornot,I’llsuffer

throughjusttobeclosetoyou.”

Shesmilesupatme,butit’ssoonreplacedwithafrown.“Ibetyouweretheworstpatientever.”
“Onlyaroundthehotnurses.”Iwink.
Shegroansagain.“Youaren’tgoingtomakethiseasyforme,areyou?”
Ipressmylipstohersagain.“Andwhatfunwouldthatbe?”

Afterthebananabreadisdone,shesetsitdowntocool.Itsmellsfuckingamazing,andI’mtemptedto
starteatingitrightoutofthepan.

“Youhavetowait,”shewarns.“Ittastesbestwhenit’sjusttherighttemperature.Warm,butnot

hot.”

“That’storture,”Iwhineaswesitonthecouchtogether,onlyasmallthrowpillowbetweenus.

“Cominginhere,smellingupmyhousewithbananabreadandcoffeeandyou,andIcan’thaveany
ofit.”Ipout,gettingalaughoutofher.

“Iguessit’stimeyoulearnoneoflife’shardlessons.”Shepuckersherlips.“TravisKingdoesn’t

alwayswin.”

Itossthepillowather;herlaughterbringsasmiletomyface.“Thekingalwayswins,princess.”
“I’mnotsosure...”Shepinchesherlipsandtapsafingeragainstherbottomlip.“Butmakingyou

workforitjustmightbewhatyouneedtoshrinkthatbigheadofyours.”

“NeverhadanissuewithworkingforwhatIwant.”Igrabherhandandkissthefingershewas

justtappingagainsthermouth.“ButIwashopingweweredoneplayinggamesnowthat...”Iletthe
wordsrestonmylipsinhopesshegetswhatI’mtryingtosay.

“Thatwhat?”

“Thatwecanbeinthesameroomtogetherwithouttheurgetokilloneanother.”
“Justbecauseyoukissedmedoesn’tmeantheurgewentaway.”Shespitsitoutsoquickly,without

abeat,makingmesmileatherwords.

“Well,Iguesssomethingsneverchange.”Ipullhercloser,forcinghertoberightnexttome.

We’rebothonthecouch,facingeachother,neithercaringwhat’sontheTVanymore.“Likemy
feelingsforyou,Viola.SinceIwastwelveyearsold.Ialwaysknewtherewassomethingbetweenus,
evenbeforeIwasn’toldenoughtounderstandwhatthosefeelingsmeant.”

“Yeah,Ihadfeelingsforyou,too.”Shepauseswithagrin.“Feelingsofhate.”
“Viola...”Ihissundermybreath,knowingdamnwellshe’smakingthismuchharderthanithasto

be.“Whyareyoubeingsodifficult?”

“Becauseit’sfuntoseeyousweatingforonce,”sheanswershonestly,flashingavictorioussmile.
“Well,missionaccomplished,smartass.Nowwouldyoudroptheactandjustlistentome?”
Sheexhalesandthensmiles,hereyessoftening.“Areyouaskingmetogosteady?”Hervoiceis

highpitchedlikeanoverlyexaggeratedcheerleaderonthoseridiculouschickflicksshewatched
whenshewasinhighschool.

Idropherhandandsigh.“Igiveup.”
Shelicksherlips,holdinginasmirk.“DefeatedtheKing!Finally!”
“You’vebeenwaitingtwelveyearstosaythat,haven’tyou?”
“Prettymuch.”Sheflashesasmuggrin.“Infact,everythinginmylifehasleduptothisvery

moment.”

“Fuck,you’reasassythingtoday.WhathappenedtothesweetlittlegirlIfirstmet?”
“Youcorruptedher,”shesaysmatter-of-factly.
“Can’tsayI’msorryaboutthat.”
Shelooksatmeasifshe’sindeepthought,andItrytoreadher.IknowIhavealotofprovingto

do,butI’lldowhateverittakestogainhertrustagain.

“Idon’twantanyoneelse,Viola,”Isaygenuinely,knowingsheneedstohearit.“Inevertrulydid.

It’salwaysbeenyou.”

“Iwanttotrustyou,”shesayssoftly.“ButI’mscared.”
“Whatareyouscaredof?”Iask,hopingIcaneasesomeofherfears.
“I’mscaredofgettinghurtagain.ScaredDrewwillthrowyouacrosstheroom.ScaredI’llnever

fullybeabletotrustyou.”

“Viola,listentome.I’lldowhateverittakestotakethosefearsaway.Don’tworryaboutDrew.I’ll

talktohimanddowhateverittakestogainhistrust,too.Butdon’tbescaredofgettinghurt.Ican’t
promisetherewon’tbetimesIfuckup,butIwouldneverintentionallyhurtyou.”Itakeherheadin
mineagain.“ButIwillpromiseyouonething.Iwon’tbelikethoseguysyoureadaboutinyour
romancenovels.Iwon’tfeatherthebedwithredrosepetals,makelovetoyouunderthestars,or
writeanoriginalsongandsingittoyouontopofButternutHill.”

Shechuckles,tiltingherheadtolookdeeperintomyeyes.
“BecauseI’mnotlikethoseguysinyourromancenovels.I’mtheguythat’llfuckyouagainstthe

wall,wrapmyhandaroundyourthroat,andpullyourhairasyouscreamoutmyname.I’mtheguy
that’llhaveyouwakinguponabaremattressbecausewefuckedthesheetsoffitinthemiddleofthe
night.I’mtheguythatcan’tsingatunetosavemysoul,butI’dtellyoueverysingledayofmylife
howmuchyoumeantome.So,beforeyoumakeyourdecision,youneedtoknoweverythingit
entails.”

Iwatchasherthroatmoves,hertonguerunningalongherlipsasshewetsthem.Sheblinksand

looksbackupatme;hereyesareglassy.

“Idon’twantyoutobethoseguysinmyromancenovels,”shestates.“They’reusuallyflawless

withperfectabsandhairandtheyalwayssaytherightthings,andthey’realwayshungevenwhen
they’resoft...”

Iputahandup,makingherstopsoIcanmakesureI’mhearinghercorrectly.“Waitaminute...”
Sheignoresmeandcontinues.“Idon’twantperfect,Travis.Idon’texpectarelationshipwhere

everythingisalwayssmoothandhappy.Iwantustocontinuechallengingoneanother,testingthe
limits,andgrowingasone.I’dgetboredbeingwithaperfectguy.I’dfeelinadequate,andI’drather
haveanimperfectrelationshipthanaperfectone.”

Herwordsaremusictomyears.Myheartbeatsharderinmychest.“So,areyousayingyou’reall

in?”Iask,desperatetohearhersaythewords.

Shesucksinherlipsandnods.“Yes.Iam.”
Hereyesareglassingoveragain.Ipressmythumboverhercheek,catchingatearthatdrops

down.“Ihopethosearetearsofhappiness,”Ismirk,cuppingherface.

“Tearsofregret,”shespitsout.
“Dammit,Viola,”Ihiss,tryingtoholdinannoyedlaughter.“Areyoualwaysgoingtobethis

difficulttoseduce?”

“Youhavealottolearn,King.”Shewinks.
“Trustme.Iknow,princess.”Ibringourmouthstogetherandpushherlipsapartwithmytongue.

“JustknowthatifIweren'tonbedrest,I’dhavebothyourlegsaboveyourheadrightnow.”

“Clearlyitwasyourcharmthatwonmeover.”
“Ithoughtitwasmyabilitytomakeyoucounttotenwithyourheadburiedinthepillow?”
Sheplayfullyslapsmyarmandscowls.“IfIdidn’tknowanybetter,I’dsayI’djustagreedtobe

withahornyfifteen-year-oldboy.”

“Twenty-four-year-oldman,”Iclarifywithashrug.“Notmuchhasreallychanged.”
ShelaughsandbeforeIcanstopher,sheleansin,bringsbothhandsaroundmyneckandpullsme

inforadeep,greedy-as-fuckkiss.Shehasmybodyallkindsoffiredup.Myribsmaybebroken,but
mycocksureisn’t.

“Goddammit,Viola,”Igrowl,needinghertostop.Ipressmyforeheadagainsthers,ourpants

mixingintheairaswetrytocatchourbreaths.“IthinkIneedtogotakethatshowernow.”Afucking
coldone.

“Areyousurethat’sagoodidea?”
“Well,itwassuggestedIeithersitintheshowerorhavesomeonenearbytohelpincaseIslipor

getdrowsyfromthemedsandsincewedon’texactlyhaveashowerchair,you’llhavetobemyon-
dutynurse.”

“ShouldIputtheuniformonforyouandeverything?Giveyouthefullnurseexperience?”The

cornerofherlipstiltsup.

Ismile.Ifuckinglovehersmartmouth.

VIOLA

FollowingTravistothebathroom,I’malreadydroolingatthethoughtofseeinghimnakedagain.

Istareathim,admiringthewayhisjeanshughisass.Heglancesoverhisshoulderandcatchesme.

“Eyesuphere,nurse.”
IblinkmyeyesbackuptohisandblushasifI’dbeencaughtgettingintotrouble.Acockygrin

formsoverhisface,andIknowhe’senjoyingeverysecondofmyogling.

Onceinsidethebathroom,Ireachintotheshowerandturnonthewater.Traviswatchesmeashe

beginsunbuttoninghisjeans.Iwatchashepushesthemdown,buttheygetstuckathisknees.Istepin
andpullthemdowntherestofthewaysohecankickthemoff.Islidemyhandoverhiswaistand
griptheendofhisshirt.Iknowhe’sinmorepainthanhe’slettingon,soIslowlylifthisshirtsohe
canpullhisarmsoutonebyone.HewincesslightlyandIcringeatthewayraisinghisarmsoverhis
headcausespain.

“Areyouokay?”Iask,fearingthathe’snotgoingtobeabletoshoweralone.
“Ahotnurseundressingme?I’mmorethanfine.”Hegrins,andIrollmyeyesathisinabilityto

answeraseriousquestion.

“Don’tgetanyideas,”Iscold.“Thisisstrictlyformedicalpurposesonly.”
“We’llseeaboutthat.”Henodshisheaddowntohisboxers,whichistheonlyclothinglefton

him.

Inod,knowingdamnwellhecantakehisboxershortsoff.Butifthat’showhewantstoplayit,

I’mallin.

Loopingmyfingersunderneaththewaistband,Islowlypullthemdownhisbody.Ikneel,butI

keepmyeyeslockedonhis.AssoonasIhavethemdownfarenough,hiscockfreesandissalutingto
theceiling.Iswallow,fightingtheurgetotastehim,butIknowIcan’tstartanythingrightnow—as
muchasIdesperatelywantto.

Makingeyecontactwithhim,Iwatchasasmugexpressionformsoverhisface,andhestands

withbothhandsonhiships.

“Areyousureyou’reupforthis,princess?”
Blinking,Iclearmythroatandflashaforcedsmile.Istandupandwatchashefinallykickshis

shortstotheside.“Youreallythinkyou’regoingtowinthisgame?”Ichallenge,knowingexactly
whathe’stryingtodo.

Iwillnotcave.Iwillnotcave.
“IknowIwill.”
“You’llneverlearn,willyou?”Ismirk.
Heshrugs.
I’mnotaboveneedingtoprovemyselftohimwhenIneedto.Ibringmyfingersdowntomy

jeansandunbuttonthem.HewatchesmeintentlyasIremovethem,andthenIbringmyhandstothe
bottomofmyshirtandpullitovermyhead.

“Whatthehellareyoudoing?”hefinallyasks.
“Gettingundressed.”Ireachbehindmybackandunclaspmybra.
Hewatchesasitslidesdownmyarmsandfallstothefloor.
“Why?”
“Well,Idon'tnormallyshowerwithmyclotheson...”Ilowermyhandstothefabricofmypanties

andbeginpullingthemdown.

“Wait,”hesayseagerly,stoppingme.“Don’tyouthinkyoubeingnakedisasafetyhazard?I

mean,you’resupposedtomakesureIdon’tstumbleorsomeshit.”

Ismile,ignoringhishandandpushmypantiestherestofthewaydown.“Goodthingyouhave

yourveryownpersonalnurse,willingtogothedistance.”

Steppingtowardme,heclosesthegapbetweenus.Ifeelhiscockthrobbingagainstmyskinand

mybodyshivers.Hecupsmyfaceandbringshismouthtomine.Slowly,hekissesmeandpartsmy
lipswithhistongue,givingmeatorturoustasteofexactlywhatIwant.

“Youforgetwhoyou’replayingwith,princess?”heasks,breakingthekiss.
Iswallow,keepingmyeyesclosedasItrytocomposemyselfandnotgiveintothetemptationmy

bodysodeeplywants.

“Viola,”hewhispers,hisbreathvibratingagainstmylips.“Viola,lookatme.”
Ihearthedesperationinhisvoice,theeagernessinhistone,andIfightobeyingwitheverypartof

mybody.“No,”Isay,exhaling.“Idon’ttrustmyselfwithyou.”

Ihearasoftchucklereleasefromhislips,anditbringsmecomfort.“Idon’tblameyou.”
Hiswordsmakemelaugh,andIshakemyheadinprotest.“Arroganceisn’taflatteringtrait,you

know.”

“Yourbodyseemstodisagree.”Hepinchesmynipplebetweenhisfingersandreleasesadeep,

satisfiedhum.“Infact,everypartofyoudisagrees.”

Icanfeelmyselfgettingwetastheacheintensifiesbetweenmylegs.It’sasifhehaspussyradar

orsomething.Heknowsexactlywhathe’sdoingtome.

“Mybodyneedsacoldshower,”Iadmit,needingtodiminishthetensionintheair.Ineedthe

shockofthecoldwateronmyskintowakemefromthisspellTravishascastonme.

“You’retheboss,nurse.”
Ipeelmyeyesbackopenandseetheamusedgrinonhisface.“SometimesIreallywanttosmack

you.”Iputmyhandundertheshowertotestthetemperatureofthewater.

“Youwouldn’tbethefirsttosaythat.”
“Notsurprising.”Irollmyeyeswithagrinandstepinsidetheshower.“Ready?”
“Readyifyouare,”hesays,takingastepin.“Justdon’tforgettherealreasonyou’reinhere,

princess,”hewarnswithfakeauthority.

“Yes,”Isay,closingtheshowercurtain.“Tomakesureyoudon’tslipandbreakthatbigheadof

yours.”

“Oh.”Heturnstofaceme,handingmeabarofsoap.“I'mnotsupposedtomovemyarmsbehind

myback,soitlookslikeyou’llhavetosoapmeup,too.”

“Andwhohelpedyouwhenyouwereinthehospital?”Iask,grabbingitfromhim.
“Nancy.Shehadgrabbyhands,sowatchyourself.Ihadtoremindhertokeephereyesupquite

often.Ithinksheenjoyedtheshow.”Helowershiseyestohisstill-hardcock.

Ishakemyheadandholdbackasmile.“You’reridiculous.”
Hechuckles.“Shewasalsooldenoughtobemygrandmother,andI’mprettysureshewasblind

inoneeye.”

Rollingmyeyes,Ilatherthesoapinmypalmsandwaitasitfoamsbetweenmyhands.Ibegin

rubbingcirclesoverhischestandmassagingthesoapintohischesthairandthencarefullyoverhis
ribsandstomach.He’swatchingmeintently,studyingmyeverymove.Acomfortablesilencehangs
betweenusasIcontinuelatheringandwashinghim.Myhandslidesaroundhiswaistanddowntohis
hips.I’mtemptedtowrapmyhandsaroundhiscockandtorturehimthesamewayhedoestome,but
thenIdecidenottouchinghimwouldbringhimmoreagony.

“Turnaround.”
Heobeys,andIrepeattheprocess.Irubmypalmsoverhisshoulders,neck,anddownhisback.

Althoughthewaterishot,IcanfeelgoosebumpsprickhisskinwhenItouchhim.Feelingbold,I
slidemyhandlowerandrubthesoapdownhisspine,allthewaydowntohisass.Ifeelhisbody
tightenanddecidetokeepgoing.

OnceI’vethoroughlycleaneddownthebackofhislegsandhisperfect,tightass,Imakemyway

backupandwashhisshouldersandarms.

“You’reverythorough,”hesaysinamusement,turningbackaroundtofaceme.
“Itakeprideinmywork,”Isay,weavingmyfingersthroughhisandmakingsureeveryfinger

getsclean.

Hewatchesmeforafewmoremomentsandthengrabsmyhandandwrapsitaroundhiscock.

“Youmissedaspot.”

Iswallow,takenoffguardbyhisboldness.“Well,Ifigureditwasanareayoucouldreach

yourself.”

“Doctor ’sorders,”hesayswithalazyshrug.“Ican’triskgettingdizzyandslippingtomydeath

withmydickinmyhand.”

Iresisttheurgetorollmyeyesagain.God,he’stoomuchsometimes.“Ibetthenurseshadaparty

thedayyouweredischarged.”

“Nah,theyenjoyedmyantics.Keptthemontheirtoes.”
“Ibet,”Isaydryly.Islatheredmoresoapbetweenmyhandsandwrappedmyfingersaroundhis

erectionthatneverseemstogodown,rubbingthesudsupanddownhislength.Withmyotherhand,I
massagehisballs,makingsuretobeasgentleasIcan.I’llgivehimthesatisfactionthathewonthis
round,butIwon’tfinishhimoff,asmuchasI’dloveto.

Assoonashisheadfallsbackandhisbodybeginstotighten,Ireleasemyhandsandrinsethem

underneaththewater.“Alldone,Mr.King,”Isayinaprofessionaltone.“CanIhelpyouwithanything
else?”

Histhroatmovesandhischestrisesandfallsquickly.“Yes,asamatteroffact.”Histoneissharp.

“Putyourhandsbackonmerightnow.”Helowershisfaceandlockseyeswithme.“You’regoingto
givemeblueballs.”

“Sorry,Mr.King,butthat’snotinthepaperwork.Anypleasuringwillhavetobedoneonyour

owntime.”Iflashawittysmile,andIcantellhe’sbrewinginside.

“Ishould’veknownyoursmartmouthwouldcomeouttoplay.”Thecornerofhislipstiltup,and

Iknowhe’suptosomething.Hegrabsthesoapandsmirksatme.“Myturn.”

Ifurrowmybrows,buthestayssilentashecirclesafingerintheair,motioningformetoturn

around.Afterafewmoments,Ifeelhishandsonmyshoulders,andit’sthemostamazingfeelingin
theworld.Hishandsaresobigandstrong,andeventhoughthey’recoveredinsoap,Iwanthishands
onme—everywhere.

Amoanreleasesfrommythroatashemakeshiswaydownmybackandass,thoroughlycovering

everyinchofme.Imisshisbodyonmine,touchingme,kissingme,pushingmyeverylimit.Iwant
everythingthismanhastooffer,andI’mnotsurehowmuchlongerIcanwait.

“Putyourhandsuponthewall,”hesaysovermyear,pressinghisbodyintomineandfeelinghis

erectionagainstthesmallofmyback.“Spreadyourlegsapart.”

Idoashesays,andamjustabouttoaskwhathe’sdoingwhenhewrapsbotharmsaroundmy

waist,holdingontome.Hislegsarespreadbehindmine,keepinghisbalance,andbeforeIcanmakea
commentabouthowI’msupposedtobetheonekeepinganeyeonhim,helowershishanddownmy
stomachandpalmsmypussy.EverythoughtvanishesandtheonlythingIneedinthisworldisforhis
handsnevertostoptouchingme.

Hisotherhandslidesupandcoversmybreast,massagingitinrhythmasherubshisthumbover

myclit.Asoftmoanreleases,andI’mnolongerincontrol.

“I’vemissedyou,”hesays,hiswordsvibratingovermyear.Myentirebodyshivers.Thewater

cascadesdownhisback,leavingmenakedandcold.“Youhavegoosebumps.”

Iswallowashisfingersslidealongmyslit,buildinguptheachethatIwasalreadyfighting.Ican’t

concentrateonanythingbeyondhishandonmybreastandhisfingersslidinginsideme,buildingup
thepressureIsodesperatelywanttorelease.

Myheadfallsbackagainsthischestandrestsonhisshoulder.“Ithinkthisisasafetyhazard,Mr.

King.Ican’tbeliableforanyinjuriesduetoyourwanderinghands.”

Histeethscrapealongthelobeofmyear,andhegroans.“Anyinjurieswouldbeworthit.”Ican

feelhislipsformingintoasmirk.“AndI’mnotreallyinthatmuchpainanymore.”

Althoughhiswordstakemeoffguard,Idon’tbelievehim.Afterhearingabouthisinjuries,I

lookedthemup,andknowforafactthatfracturedribscantakeuptosixweekstorecoveror
sometimesevenlonger.IknowTravistakesgoodcareofhisbodyandhealth,butIcan’timaginehe
wouldn’tstillbeinpainafterlessthantwoweeks.

“You’restillsupposedtoberestingandtakingiteasy,”Imanagetosayinbetweenhisthumb

rubbingcirclesonmeandhisfingersslidingdeeperinsideme.

“Trustme,princess,thisismetakingiteasy,”hegrowlsandflashbacksofourfirsttimesurface.

“You’dbeholdingontoyouranklesasIbentyouoverandgaveyouevery-fucking-thingyou’re
beggingforrightnow,sotrustmewhenIsaythatthisisaseasyasI’llbetakingit.”

God.Whydoeshedothistome?How,afteralltheseyears,canmybodycravehimthismuch?
Hespeedsuphisfingers,makingmeunabletorespondtohim,andevenifIcould,Idon’tknow

thatI’dbeabletosayanythingthatmadeanysenserightnow.

“Areyoureadytocount,princess?”Hekissesundermyearandsendsmoreshiversdownmy

spine.

Ibeginshakingmyhead,becauseIknowIcan’tcontrolmyselfaroundhim,especiallywithhis

bodypressedupagainstmineandhismagicfingersdrivingmewild.

“I’msofuckinghardforyou,Viola.God,it’sdrivingmeinsane.”
Ibeginpanting,losingthestrengthtodenyhim,soIgiveinandpracticallybeghimforit.“Ineed

more,”Isaybetweenheavybreaths.“Harder.”

Onehandslidesupmybodyandfistsmyhairashisotherhandpushestwofingersdeepinsideme

andfindsarhythmthatnearlyhasmykneesbuckling.Ifhekeepsthisup,we’llbothbeontheshower
floorwithbrokenribs.

“You’regoingtomakemefall,”Isay,pushingmyhipsharderintohispalm,desperatelyneeding

arelease.Myhandsontheshowerwallarebarelyholdingmeupanymore.

Hespeedsuphisfingers,givingmenoroomforprotests,ashisotherhandslidesbackdownmy

bodyandpressesintomystomach,fusingourbodiestogethereventighter.“I’vealreadyfallen,
princess,buttrustmewhenItellyouthatI’dneverletyougethurt.”

Myheartskipsabeat,ormaybeeventwobecausethewayhespeaksissorawandgenuinethatI

almostforgettobreathe.MymindflashesbacktotheotherdaywhenIcould’veswornIheardhim
say‘Iloveyou,’butIfiguredthatwastheeffectsofthepainmedshe’sbeentaking.Idon’tknowhow
toreacttohiswordsnowbecauseI’mnotevencertainhemeantitthatway,andnowI’msolostinmy
thoughtsthatwhenmybodytightens,andhisfingersfuckmeintocompleteoblivion,somuchsothat
Inearlypassout,Idon’tseeitcoming.

“Princess?”Hislipspressagainstmyear,andIknowexactlywhathe’safter.
“One,”Ifinallywhimper,catchingmybreathashisthumbcontinuesrubbingovermyclit.Once

I’mabletocontrolmybreathing,Islowlyturnaroundandfacehim.“Youbroketherules,”Isay,
wrappinganarmaroundhiswaist.

Hecupsmyfaceandleansdown,hislipslingeringovermine.“You’redamnrightIdid.”The

smileheflashesmakesmewanttomeltrightintohim.“There’snofuckingwayI’mwaitingsix
weeks.Hell,thedoctorshouldbeimpressedifImanagetowaitsixdays.”

Ichuckle,hatingthathiswordsmakemewanttosmilelikealove-struckteen.Butmyheartknows

exactlywhoTravisKingis,andithasn’tbeenabletolethimgosincethefirstdaywemet.

“AreyoureadytogetthehelloutofheresoIcanwarmyouupinmybed?”
“Ihaveafeelingthedoctor ’sordersdidn’tevenstandachance.”Igrin,slickingmyice-coldwet

hairback.

“Notonefuckingbit.”

CHAPTERSIX

TRAVIS

IplacemyhandagainstthewallandslowlystepoutoftheshowerbehindViola,watchingwater

dripdownherbackandperfecttightass.GoodthingIhaven’texperiencedanysideeffectsfromthe
meds,becauseI’mdefinitelydistractedenoughtoslipandbustmyface.Fortunately,sheturnsaround
andhandsmeatowel,breakingmeoutofmytrance.

Grabbingthetowel,IclosethespacebetweenusasViolalooksupatmewithhoodedeyes,andwe

bothknowthatwasonlythebeginning.Insteadofdryingmyselfoff,Itaketheopportunitytotouch
herandrubthesoftcottonoverherface,neck,shoulders,chest,andarms.

ImotionforhertoturnaroundsoIcandrytherestofher,andwhenshedoes,ItakemytimeasI

touchher.Ileanforward,kissingthenbitingeachshoulder,asmyfingertipstracedownhertorso,
memorizingherbody.Mychestrestsagainstherback,andsheleansagainstmeasIguidemyhand
overabreast,pinchingherhardnipplebeforemovinglower.Witheachraggedbreath,shemeltsinto
mytouch,andIdroptomykneesinfrontofher.Atfirst,shegivesmeaworriedlook,butIshakemy
headasIrestoneofherlegsovermyshoulder.Shedoesn’tfullyputherweightonmebutgivesme
whatIwant.Ihavetofuckingtasteher.

Violacloseshereyes,sinkingdeeperintomytongueasIflickherclit.Thewayshetastes,andthe

wayherskinsmellssosweetly,makesmycockthrob.Sheleansagainstthedoor,steadyingherself,
takinghernipplesbetweenherfingersandpinchingandpullingthem.It’salmosttoomuchformeto
watch.Idipmytongueinside,listeningtoherpantsasItonguefuckhertooblivion.Icantastethe
edgeofherorgasm,andasmuchasshewantsitrightthen,Islowdownmymovements,allowingher
toenjoyitevenmore.

“Please,”shebegs,butIdon’tlisten.
Asherlegshakesinanticipation,Iguideafingerin,thenanother,andafterafewmoreswirlson

herhardnub,Violamoansmynameagainandwhispers‘two’likeit’saprayer.

“You’resogoddamngreedy,”ItellherasIplaceafingerinmymouth,tastinghersweetness

again.

“You’vecreatedamonster,”shesaysplayfully.
“Mm.Lovethesoundofthat.Mylittlesexmonster.”
Afterwe’rebothdry,shelacesherfingerswithmineandleadstheway,takingfullcontrol.She

turnsandlooksatmeaswewalkdownthehallway,andit’samomentIneverwanttoforget.

Violaintheraw.
Violahappy.
Violawithme.
Fuckme,maybeallthatMickeyMouseshitisrealanddreamsreallydocometrue.
Oncethebedroomdoorshuts,Ican’tkeepmyhandsfromher.Igrabherfaceandbrushmylips

againsthers.Lightmoansescapefromherasourtonguestangletogether,fightingawarthatneither
ofuswillwin.Shestandsonhertiptoesandwrapsherarmsaroundmyneck,pullingdeeperintothe
kiss.

“You’resogoddamnbeautiful,”Iwhisperagainstherlips.Allinhibitionsrollfromher

shoulders,andwhenshelooksintomyeyes,Iknowthere’snootherwomanintheworldthatcan

makemefeelthisway.Fuck,ifthisisagame,I’llgladlyloseifitmeanshavingherexactlylikethis.

Grabbingherchinbetweenmyfingers,Isearchherfaceashereyesflutteropen.“Iwanttofuck

youuntilyoucan’twalk.”

Shecracksasmile.“Youwereworryingmeforasecond.Didn’tknowifthatsmartmouthwas

stillinthere.”

“Imayhaveleftitinyoursweetlittlepussy.”
“Oh,myGod,Travis.You’resovile.”
“Iloverilingyouup.Makesmehardasfuck.”
Shelooksdownatmycock,whichisatfullattention,andsmirks.“Obviously.”
“Andyoulikeit,so...”
Shedropsdowntoherkneesandlickstheprecumfromthetip,thentakeshertimelickingme.I

grabfistsofherhairasshemanagestoputmostofmeinhermouth.Myeyespracticallyrollinthe
backofmyheadwhenshecupsmyassinherhandsandshovesmedeeperdownherthroat.

“Mm,”Isay,knowingthatifshekeepsupthisrhythm,Iwon’tbeabletolastmuchlonger.It’s

beentoolongsinceI’vefelther.It’sbeentoolongsinceI’vefeltthisoverwhelmingneed.Andthough
I’mknownformystamina,rightnow,it’scompletebullshit.Iwatchhereverymovementassheslows
herpace,payingattentiontoeveryinch.Beforeshebringsmetotheedge,shelooksupatmeand
placesmyballsinhermouth,teasingme,whileshestrokesme.Holy.Fuck.

“Viola.”Ilookintohereyes,andsheknows.Ourgazeisn’tbrokenasIcome,andsheswallowsit

all.

“King,”shesays,smiling.
Itakeherhandandleadhertothebed,kissingthefuckoutofherbeforeshefallsbackagainstmy

pillows.Takingmytime,Isitontheedgeandpositionmyselfbesideher.Thepainisamotherfucker,
butit’snothingmorethananinconveniencewhenViola’snakedbodyispressedagainstme,
practicallybeggingmewitheveryblinkofhereyes.

Irunmyfingersthroughherhairbeforeourkissestransformintopuregreed.
“Jesus,you’rereadytogoagain?”
“Don’tlooksosurprised,princess.”
Shebendsdownandgrabsmynipplebetweenherteethandtugs.
“Keepdoingthat,andyoumightnotwalkforaweek.”
“Challengeaccepted.”Violadoesn’twaitanothersecondbeforeshe’sstraddlingmeandtaking

fullcontrol.Thisconfident,sexuallychargedsideofherissexyasfuck.Sheeasesallofmeinand
closeshereyes,lettingoutadeepthroatymoanasourendsmeet.

Onceshebeginsrollingherhips,takingmefromtheshafttothetipthenbackdownagain,Ifeel

likeagoddamnvirginonpromnight.Especiallywithhergreedylittlepussywrappedaroundmeso
tightly,takingeveryinchlikesheownsit.Maybeshedoes.

“Viola,”IsayasIdigmyfingersinherhips,slowingherdown.Foronce,Iwanttoenjoyit,

enjoyher.

Sheleansover,concernwrittenonherface.“Areyouokay?I’mnothurtingyou,amI?”
Ilaughandwrapmyarmsaroundherbackandpullhercloseruntilherfaceisinchesfrommine.

“Theonlythingthathurtsisknowingwecan’tdothiswheneverwewant.”

Shekissesme,andeveryemotionofhersfloodsstraightthroughme.It’swantandneedmixed

withlust.It’shateandloveandeverypent-upaggressionwe’vesharedovertheyears.Allofit
tricklesawayandisreplacedwithsomethingelse,somethingdifferent.Itfeelslikepurefucking
perfection.Onceherorgasmbuilds,shecountstothree,thenfour,andeventuallyfive.BeforeIlose
myselfcompletely,Irealizethatwe’renolongerfucking.No,forthefirsttime,ViolaandIare
makinglove.Andthelookonherface,beforeshewhisperssix,tellsmethatshefeelsit,too.

SecondsturnintominutesasIholdherinmyarms.
“IhavetoreadachapterformyStrategicManagementclassbeforeIgo,”shewhispers,leaning

herheadagainstmychest.

“I’msureyou’vereaditseveraltimesalready.”Igentlytracecirclesonherarmwithmythumb.

Sheperksupandgivesmealookconfirmingmysuspicion,butitdoesn’tsurpriseme.

“Beinghereisjusttoocomfortable,”shesayswithhernakedbodyagainstmine,pouting.
Forasecond,Istopeverythingandlisten.AndthefearonViola’sface,tellsall.
“Up,out,hurry,”Isay,asViolafranticallyrushesoutofmyroom.Ipulltheblanketsupovermy

bodyandclosemyeyes.

Mydoorcracksopen.“Dude,youawake?”Drewasks.
MyheartisracingasIpretendtobegroggy.
“What’sup?”Iask.
“IsViolahere?”
Thememoryofwhatwehaddonestilllingersintheroom.
“Notsure,”Ianswer,hatingtolie,buthopingshewasabletomakeitbacktothebathroomwhere

ourclotheswere.

“Whatdoyouwant,Drew?Andwhatareyoudoinghere?”IhearViolaquestionhimfrombehind.

“MakingsureI’mdoingwhatI’mtold?”

Heturnsandlooksather.“Ilivehere,remember?Yeah,I’mmakingsureyou’renotslacking.”
Violaisburningholesthroughhisheadbythewayshe’slookingathim.
“Actually,Iforgotmywalletandit’smyturntobuylunchtoday.Whyareyoubeingsoweird?”
“I’mnotbeingweird.”Shestormsintothekitchenwithagroan.Iheartherefrigeratordooropen

thenslamclosed.

“Yeah,she’sbeenweirdfordays,”ItellDrewjustloudenoughforViolatohear,knowingitwill

aggravatetheshitoutofher,butwehavetokeepthisup.

“She’sabouttostartherperiod,”Drewsayswithalaugh.
“Oh,that’swhatitis?Makessense.Thanksforthewarning.”Ichuckle,makingsuretokeepthe

blanketovermynakedbody.

“You’reanasshole.Actually,you’rebothassholes,”sheyellsfromthekitchen.
“Dude,toldyou.AuntFlo.”Helooksathisphonethenbackatme.“Iseverythinggoingokayso

far?”

Ithinkbacktotheshower,andthentothemomentwhenViolameltedinmyhands,thetasteofher,

andhowmynamefellfromherlipsasifshewasclaimingmeasherown.

“Yeah,perfect,”Iaddahintofsarcasm,whichisn’tlostonhim.
“Iwashopingshe’dwarmuptoyou.Iguessit’sgoingtotakeafewmoredays.”
Ilaugh.“Yeah,lookslikeit.”
“Mighttaketherestoftime,though.”
Ifheonlyknew.
“So,Miatextedme.”
Ican’ttellifhe’sexcitedaboutitornot,soIstayneutral,butitmakesmeuneasywhenIthink

abouther.

“She’sbeenreleasedfromthehospital,”headds.
“Well,that’sgoodnews.”Ifocusonhim,tryingtoreadhim.
“Shewantstocomeoverandtalkaboutwhathappenedaftershefinishesupsomeschool

projects.”

I’mnotsurewhatmyreactionshouldbeatthismoment.Hedoesn’tknowthecircumstancesand

hasn’taskedmeonequestion,butIputonafakesmilebecauseIknowhelovesher,eventhoughshe

doesn’tdeservehim.

“That’sgreat.”ButIknowherbeinghereisnotagoodidea.She’splayingmybestfriend,andI

don’tlikethatonefuckingbit.

“Shit.I’vegottago.IleftLoganinthecar.Youtwoplaynice,okay?”
Igivehimanod,andheleavesmetomythoughts.
Miaisactingout,beggingforattention,andsheknowsDrewwillgiveittoher.Ithoughtshe’d

learnedalesson,butclearly,Iwasmistaken.

VIOLA

OnceDrewleaves,ImakemywaybacktoTravis’room,wherehe’sgettingdressed.
“I’mnotbeingweird,”Isaymatter-of-factly.
Travissmilesatme.“It’sokay.It’sallofthedirtysexyou’vebeenhaving.”
“Whatjusthappenedcannothappenagain.OnemomentlongerandDrewcould’vecaughtus.He

willkillyouandmeboth.”

Ileanagainstthedoorway,andTraviswalkstowardme.
“I’dhappilydieforyou,”hesays,kissingmesweetly.
“Seriously.Wehavetobesmarteraboutthis.”KnowingthatDrewcouldbargeinatanyminute

andfindustogethermakesmejitteryandnervous.

Hewaitsalongtimebeforeheresponds.“Iagree,butdon’tbesoparanoidaroundhim.I’lltell

himrightnowifyouwantmeto.”Heturnsandlooksatmewithanarchedeyebrowandacheesygrin
ashepicksuphisphoneandpretendstocallDrew.

“Travis!”Heatrushestomycheeks,andI’mtwosecondsfromtacklinghim,butIknowthat

wouldleadtoroundtwo.So,Ireelitback,regardlessofwhatmybodywants.

Adingringsout,andIpullmyphonefrommypocket.ImmediatelyIstartsmilingandlaughing.It

dingsagainandagain.Travisstudiesme,watchingmebitemylipasIrespond.Icantellhewantsto
askmewhoI’mtalkingto,butit’snothisbusiness,asmuchashewantstomakeithisbusiness.I
glanceupathim,andhedropsthesmile,whichonlycausesmetolaughagain.

“Don’tworry,”Isay,watchinghimtense,almostasifhe’sjealous.Iturnthephonearoundand

flashhimapictureofaflacciddickonthescreen.“Courtneysendsmedickpicsrandomly,but
they’reallweirdandhaveissues.”

“That’sthemostfucked-upthingI’veseeninalongtime.Isitwrappedaroundhisballs?”
Ilaughagain.“Idon’tknowwhatit’sdoing,butitshouldn’tbendthatway.I’msogladyoudon’t

haveamessedupone.”

“Youmeanyouwouldn’tgivemeachanceifIhadaweirddick?”
“No.Weirddicksareahardlimitforme,”Isaywithasmile.
ThedickpicsfloodinandIgobacktomyphone.TearsstreamdownmyfacebecauseI’m

laughingsohard.Iswearshehasafolderofthesegrosspicturesreservedjusttotortureme.

C:SOPLEASECOMEOVERAFTERCLASS!
V:Okay!Geez.
C:Ipromisetomakeitworthyourwhile;)

IrollmyeyesbecauseIdon’tthinkIwanttoknowwhatshe’stalkingabout.Withher,there’s

reallynotelling.

“Courtneyhastoomuchtimeonherhands.Andshouldn’tyoubereadingthatchapter?”Travis

remindsme,droppingdownonthecouchandturningonthetelevision.Hestopsonsomeoldwestern
wherethegunshotssoundlikericochetsandeverythingonthescreenlooksbrown—thehorses,the
hats,theshirts,andeventhemesainthebackgroundarethesamecolor.Isitdownnexttohimand
beginspeed-reading.

Analarmonmyphonegoesoff,andIknowit’stimetogo.“Shit.Class.I’llbebacklater.”
“There’snowayIcouldtemptyouintostaying,isthere?”Travisliftshisshirt,andhisabsbegme

tostay.ButIshakemyheadandstand,throwingmybagovermyshoulder.Iforcemyselftotakea
fewstepsforward.

AsIwalkpasthim,hegrabsmyhandandpullsmetohim,causingmetostumble.Mybodylands

nexttohimontheedgeofthecouch,andourfacesaresoclosethatthewarmthofhisbreathbrushes
againstmycheek.Tuckingloosestrandsofhairbehindmyear,Travisleansinandkissesmeso
sweetlythathepracticallystealsmybreathaway.IfeellikeI’mfloating,suspendedabovereality,asI
experiencehiminadifferentway.Overtheyears,he’swhittledawayatmyheartandhasfinally
carvedapathstraightthroughthemiddle.IhopetoGodthisneverends.Myhandsthreadthroughhis
hairandourmovementsbecomewilder,daring,almostanimalisticinallaspects;ittakeseverythingI
havenottogiveintohimagain.

“ThethingsI’ddotoyourightnow,”Travissaysinalowrasp,withhiseyesclosed,beforehe

pullsaway.

“Thethingsyou’vealreadydonetome.”
“You’reneverenough,princess.”
“Andsometimesyou’retoomuch.”Ismileagainsthislips.Myheartisfluttering,andI’m

practicallygaspingforair.Theintensityofthatsinglekisslightsmybodyonfire,andit’ssohardto
leave,butImusterthestrengthtostand.

“Youalmostcastaspellonme,King,”Isay,beforeleaningdownandgivinghimanothersmack

onthelips.

Iwalktomycarandsitinthedrivewayforafewmoments,tryingtoprocessitall.Beingwith

Travisfeltdifferenttoday.Itfeltrealandmeaningful,asifoursoulstouchedforthefirsttimesince
wewerekids.Forthefirsttimeinyears,IsawtheboyIfellinlovewith.AndIhopeheneverleaves
again.

OnceIstartthecar,IrealizehowlateIam.Shit!
Hurriedly,Iparkatmydormandrunacrosscampus,arrivingtoclasslate.Isitdown,hairamess,

withswollenlips.Itrytolistentomyprofessorspeakaboutmanagingprojectswithafocusonlong-
termstrategiesinsteadofday-to-dayissues,butmymindgoestoTravis.

AfterclassItexthim.
V:Courtneyisbeggingmetocomeover.Doyouneedanything?
Hisresponseisimmediate,andIinstantlysmile.
T:Justyou.
V:Youshouldberesting.
T:Youshouldbesittingonmyface.
V:OMG!Nowyourphoneisevidence.Itmustbedestroyed.
I’mhalftemptedtosendhimsomeofthosecrazydickpics,butIrefrain—foronce.
T:I’mtakinganapnow.Nurse’sorders:)
V:Sweetdreams.
IsendthetextquicklyasIthrowmybaginthebackofmycar.
T:Onlyifyou’reinthem.
V:Gag.You’relayingitonthick.

T:Youlikeitthick.
Shakingmyhead,Ishould’veanticipatedthatresponsefromhim.
V:Shutitandgotosleep!Yourmedshavemadeyoudelirious.
IrespondbeforestartingthecaranddrivingtoCourtney’sincompletesilence.Mymindisracing

amillionmilesperhourasIreplayeverythingthat’shappened.

“Iguessmybribetextsanddickpicsworked,”shesayswithawidesmilewhensheopensthe

door.

“Ofcourse!Nothinglikesoftpenisesthathangoverballslikewaterfalls!”Ilayonthesarcasm,

laughingatthethoughtofthosehorrificpictures.

“Ineededsomeoneelsetobescarredforlife,too.Justsharingthelove.”
“WhatwouldIeverdowithoutyou?”Iask.
“Studytwenty-fourhoursaday,sevendaysaweek,probably.”Shestuffsherphoneinsideher

pocketandsmilesbackatme.She’sinamuchbettermoodthanlastweek.Court’salmostherself
again,andI’msohappytohaveherback.

“Comeon;wehavesomewheretobe.”
InarrowmyeyesatheraswewalkoutofherapartmenttowardtheJeep.Afterunlockingit,she

pullsherlongblondehairintoahighponytail.Beforeshereverses,Courtneygivesmeawinkthen
slamsonthegas,causingthewheelstosquealoutinprotest.Soonwe’recruisingthrough
neighborhoods,andsheturnsdownthemusicandbeginswithherquestions.

“So...”Shewiggleshereyebrowsatme.
“Thingsaregreat,”Isaywithabigsmile.
“You’vealreadyhadsex,haven’tyou?”
Mymouthdropsopen.“Well...”
“Ilovethetwoofyoutogether.DidheeversaywhyMiawaswithhim?”Shelooksoveratme,

hopingI’llgiveherallthedirtygossip,butthere’snothingtosay.

“Hesaidnothinghappened,soI’mchoosingtobelievehim.”
Courtneypullsintothemallparkinglot.“WhereisViolaFisherandwhathaveyoudonewith

her?”

“IfDrewtrustshimandbelievesnothinghappened,andTravissaysnothinghappened,allIcando

isfollowmyheartandtrusthim,too.”

Shegivesmeabigsmile.“Good.BecauseIsawthewayhelookedatyoulastweek.He’sgotit

bad.Almostlovesickpuppyloveshit.Plus,he’dbeanidiottomessthatup.You’reaten,Lola.”

Irollmyeyesatherandshakemyhead,andshegivesmeaquickwink.
“Nowlet’sgobuytonsofsexylingerie.Italwaysmakesmefeelbetter.”
Ilaugh.“Ican’taffordit.It’stooexpensive.”
Shesmilesandflasheshercreditcard.“Mytreat.Well,myparent’streat,butthesamething.

You’retheSelenatomyTaylor.”

WewalkthroughthemallandstopinsideVictoria’sSecret.Thelaceissoprettyandsoft,andit’s

beenwaytoolongsinceI’vesplurgedonmyself.Betweentutoring,payingforwhatgroceriesIcan
afford,andmyridiculousStarbuckshabit,I’mjustabrokecollegestudent,scrapingby.Courtney
doesn’tactentitledlikesomeoftheotherrichgirlsatschool,butherparentsdosupporthershopping
habits.Ipraytotheretailgodsthatshefindsajobthatpaysherwellorshemarriesamanwithdeep
pockets.Ilaughatthethought.

Courtneystartspickingupprettybrasandpantiesinallsortsofcolorsandshovesthemintomy

arms.She’slostherdamnmind,andI’mnotcomplaining,butIfeelguilty.It’stoomuchtoaccept.

“Court,youdon’thavetodothis.”

“Shutit,sister.”Shefindssomescandalousthongsandaddsthemtomythings.“Youcan’tlook

likeafrumpforTravis.”

IfIdidn’tknowbetter,I’dsaysheandTraviswereonthesameteam.
“Whosesideareyouon,anyway?”Iaskherasshesnatchesupmorepanties.
“Whatdoyoumean?”She’snotevenreallylisteningtome.Shehasthiswildlookinhereyeslike

she’sunstoppable.

“I’mteamTraviola.Ha!AlltheHollywoodpowercoupleshavenicknames,sowe’llhavetowork

onthat.Bennifer,Brangelina,Kimye,Jelena...”Shedropsthepantiesinawirebasket,notevenpaying
attentiontomyreaction.

Ican’tstoplaughing.Courtney’scrazy.Butitmakesmefeelgoodtoknowshe’sonourside.

Beforedraggingmetothecounter,shegrabsafewbottlesofperfume.Thewomanatthecheckout
givesusasmile.

“I’masuckerforapantiessale,”Courtneysays,leaningagainstthecounterlikeshejustbought

theplace,whichshepracticallydidbytheamountofclothesthat’spileduphigh.

Thewomansmiles.“Yourtotalisfivehundredforty-twodollarsandthirty-sixcents.”
“Courtney,seriously,”Iwhisper,butshebrushesmeoff.
Shehandsoverhercreditcardwithoutbattinganeyeandsignsthescreen.“Oh,canwehavetwo

separatebags?”

ThewomanhandsustheirsignaturepinkbagswithVictoria’sSecretwrittenacrossthefrontin

shiny,silverletters,andI’msoexcitedaboutmynewthings.

Completelygiddy,ItakeaquickpictureofthepinkbagandsendittoTravis.
T:Damn!
Ireadhistextmessageandshovemyphonebackinmypocket.
“IthinkIloveyou.Thanks,Court.”
Shegivesmeahug.“Iloveyoutoo,Lola.”
Wewalkoutofthestore,andallIcandoissmile.
“Buyinglingeriealwaysmakesmehappy.Andmymomtotallysupportsmyhabit.She’safirm

believerthatawomanshouldsplurgeonpantiesandbras.ButI’msureit’sgoingtotriggeraphone
callwhenthestatementcomesin.It’sadeadgiveawaythatI’mupsetaboutsomething,andIhaven’t
toldheraboutTobyyet.”Courtneylaughsitoffbuthervoiceslightlycracks,andIcantellshe’s
thinkingaboutit,whichupsetsher.ItrytochangethesubjectbeforeshegetslostinTobythoughts.

“WhenI’mamillionaire,you’regettingtonsofgifts.”
Sheperksup.“TheonlygiftIwantisyourbrotherwrappedinnothingbutabow.”
Iplayfullynudgeher.
“Hey,I’mjustbeinghonest.”Shesmiles.
Onthewaybacktohertownhouse,IlookdownatmyphoneasanothertextmessagefromTravis

flashesacross.

T:Drew’shomealittleearly,andhe’sstinkingupthekitchenwithhisspecialtofurecipe.

IreplyknowingexactlywhatDrew’smaking.It’sthisAsiandishwithbroccoliandsoysauce.For

somereason,hethinksit’sthemostdeliciousthingontheplanet,althoughwealltellhimit’s
disgusting.

V:Gross.Enjoythat.
T:I’llsmileandpretendit’schicken,likealways.
IlaughbecauseIdothesamething.
T:Soaboutthatlingerie?WhenwillIsee?

Ican’twaittoshowhim.
V:Idunno.Ilikekeepingyouonedge.
T:Tomorrow?

V:TuesdaysandThursdaysareusuallybookedtothemaxwithtutoringandclasses,soI’m
stressingjustalittle.

T:Don’tworryaboutme,princess.I’llbejustfine.Drew’smakingenoughofthiscrapthatI’llbe
eatingituntilmyribsheal.

Ifeelbadfornotbeingthereforhim,butIdon’tseehowIcouldworkitin.I’llhavetomakeitup

tohim.

V:Ifyouneedanything,I’llbeyouron-callnurse.
T:Anything?:)
V:Wellnotanything,butyouknow!
T:Damn.I’llkeepyouintheloop.Promise.
V:Soundsgood:)
T:I’llbethinkingaboutyounakedalldaytomorrow.
Ireadhismessageoverandoveragain.Sometimes,seeingthissideofTravisdoesn’tseemreal.

ButIhavetoremindmyselfthatitis,andforonce,I’mgettingexactlywhatI’vealwayswanted.

V:Shutup!:)

CHAPTERSEVEN

TRAVIS

KnowingViolawouldn’tbearoundtokeepmecompanymadeTuesdaydragbyextraslow,and

mynightwasjustasrestless.Wednesdayarrives,andIwakeupexhaustedeventhoughI’vebeenlying
aroundfordays.I’mnotusedtothislaid-backlifestyle,andwhileI’mmentallyreadytogetbackto
thegym—andevenbacktowork—it’sphysicallynotanoption.Ontopofthemedsthatkickmyass
anytimeIdodecidetotakethem,Iwouldn’tbeabletositinanofficechairforlongerthananhour.

Thedoctorhasrefusedtoreleasemeforanindefiniteamountoftime,andI’mworriedCrawford

Marketingwillfindareasontoletmego,butluckily,I’mcoveredbyshort-termdisability.Though
it’sonlybeentwoweekssincetheaccident,Alyssahasalreadythreatenedtohaveherdaddyfireme,
butshe’snotstupidandknowsshe’llfacealawsuit,whichisbadPRforthefirm.Thankfully,I’mnot
dealingwithBlakeandAlyssa’sbullshitfortenhoursadayontopofthepain,butthestressof
workingtherestillhauntsmedaily.I’msuremyworkisstackingup,waitingforwhenI’mableto
return.I’mpositiveit’llbeBlake’swayoflegallyretaliatingagainstmeforbeingoutoftheoffice.If
itweren’tforthatplace,Iwould’venevergoneonthatdrive,andI’mnotsureIcaneverforgiveor
respectBlakeandAlyssaforthat.Mybodyachesjustthinkingaboutit.

However,thebiggestreasonforbeingextrasoretodayisafive-foot-fivesassyknow-it-allwho’s

beenmakingeveryounceofpainworthit.AlthoughthosearemomentsI’llneverforget,mybodyis
kickingmyassforit.

Therainpoundingagainstmybedroomwindowmakesmewanttostayinbedallday,butthe

growlinginmystomachletsmeknowit’stimetogetupandeatsomething.Thegloomyskymakesit
extrahardtogetup,butknowingI’llbeseeingViolatodaygivesmestrengthtogetmoving.

Imakeapotofcoffeeregardlessofhowharditistoliftmyarmsandsitonthecouchwhileit

brews.I’vehadnoappetite,andIknowIneedtoeatbeforeIwitheraway.Oncethecoffeemaker
beeps,Ishuffletothekitchenandpoptwopiecesoftoastintothetoaster.Thesmellofthatfucking
tofuisstilllingeringinthehouse,andI’malittlepissedIateit.Neveragain.

Assoonasthetoastpopsup,Ismearbutterandstrawberryjellyontopandthrowitonaplate.As

I’mwalkingoutofthekitchen,thefrontdooropensandslamsclosed.Violacomesin,drenched,her
hairflatandstickingtoherforehead,whiletherestisupinamessyponytail.Herjacketandpantsare
wet.Myeyeswidenassoonasshelooksatme.She’ssexyasfuckregardlessofhowshelooks,but
todayshe’sinhotmessmode.

“Ihateitwhenitrains!Mydamnumbrellabroke!Gah!”Shedropsherbag,anditmakesaloud

thudonthefloor.

“Didyoufeelthat?”Ijokewithher,tryingtolightenthemood.
“Feelwhat?”Shestopsandlooksaround.
“IthinkyourbagofbooksjusttrippedtheRichterscale.”Isitatthetable,taketwobitesoftoast,

andI’mdone.Iseriouslyneedtogetoverthisbullshit.

Shesitsinfrontofme,exhaustioncoveringher.
Istudyherface.“Everythingokay?”
“I’mhavingasmallfreak-out.Thereareonlyfivemoreweeksofclassleft.Finalsarecomingup.

IhavetokeepupmyGPA.I’mnotaheadwithmyreading,andI’vebeenshowinguplate.Everyone

thatI’mtutoringthinksIcanguaranteethemanAwhentheyaren’tputtingintheworktomakethat
shithappen.I’mconcernedabouttellingDrewaboutus,andI’mworriedaboutyouand–”

“Whoa,whoa,whoa.Princess,don’taddmeorustoyourlistofworries.Okay?”
Shedoesn’tlookmeintheeyes.
“Viola,”Isaysternly,andshefinallylooksupatme.Thestressiswrittenacrossherface.
“It’sjust...”Shesighs.“Schoolandgraduation.It’salottothinkabout.Mylifeafterward.Ajob.

Movingoutofthedorms.It’sahugechange.SchoolhasconsumedmylifeforsolongthatI’mnot
sureIknowwhoIamwithoutmybooksandclass,soI’mfreakingoutjustalittlebit.”

Ileanacrossthetableandgrabherhand,offeringhersomecomfort.“It’sanormalreaction.

WhenIgraduated,Ididn’tknowwhatIwoulddoafterward.Ididn’thaveaplan—justapieceof
paper,ashittyjob,andaveragegrades.You’resosmartandhavenothingtoworryabout.
Opportunitieswillfallinyourlapwhenyouleastexpectthem.Don’tworryaboutlifeafterschool
yet.Justbeconcernedwithwhat’sgoingonrightnow.I’malwaysgoingtobehereforyou,okay?
Notsureifyourealizethisornot,butI’mnotgoinganywhere.So,ifyouneedtofocusonschooland
yourself,Iunderstand.WecantellDrewclosertograduation,sothenyoudon’thavethatextrastress.
Don’tworryaboutus.Don’tworryaboutme.I’vewaitedoveradecadeforyou,sofiveweeksis
nothing.Itwillflyby,andwhenyou’rewalkingacrossthatstagewithyourperfectgradepoint
average,you’lllaughathowyoufeelrightnow.Trustme,princess.”

Shesighsandhershouldersrelaxslightly.“Thankyou.”
“AndIhavetheperfectremedytogetridofthatextrastress,”Isayslyly,takingadrinkofcoffee,

andshesmilesforthefirsttimesincesheopenedthefrontdoor.

“Actually,”shesayswithacutelittlesmirk,“Ihaveasurpriseforyou.”
Ilickmylips,intriguedbyherwords.“Asurprise?”
Shenodsherhead,stands,andwalkstome.Leaningover,shegrabsmyfaceandkissesme.It

takeseverythingIhavenottobendheroverthekitchentableandfuckherrightthere.Mybodysays
no,butmydicksaysnow.Istand,meetingherintensity,andshewrapsherarmsaroundmyneck.I
wince,andshepullsaway.

“Areyoufeelingokay?”
“Actually,allthegymnasticshavecaughtuptome.”
Shesmiles.“Thenmysurpriseisperfectforyou.”
Violatakesmyhandandleadsthewaytomybedroom.Ialreadylovewherethisisgoing.
“Sithere,”shedemandsandpullstheofficechairfromundermydesk.Idon’tevenargueandjust

followherdirections.Sheturnsonthelampinthecorneroftheroomandsetsherphoneonthe
dockingstationonmynightstand.Shesmilesbeforeshepressesplay.Afterasecond,sheflipsthe
lightswitch.Sinceit’srainyandgrayoutside,awarmglowfillsthespace.Idon’tknowwhatthesong
is,andgiveabsolutelynofucksaboutituntilViolastartsslowlymovingherhipstothebeatofthe
music.

Hereyesdon’tleavemineassheslipsherjacketoffhershouldersanddropsittothefloor.One

byone,sheunbuttonshershirt,turningandteasingmewithherperfectlittleassinthosetightjeans.A
fewmomentspassandshedropsherlong-sleevedshirttothefloornexttoherjacket.IfeverI
thoughtViolahadcastaspellonme,it’srightnowatthisverymoment,becauseIcan’ttakemyeyes
fromher.

Slowly,sheunbuttonsandthenunzipsherjeans,takinghertimeasshemovesthemdownherhips

andoffherlegs.Shemakessuretobendover,showingmeherassinablackthongthatmatchesthe
brathatbarelycoversherbeautifultits.

“SweetJesus,”Igrowl,andallshedoesissmile,takingherwethairoutofthathighponytailand

allowingittocascadearoundherface.Violaisavixen,alittlesexkitten,whohasherfingershooked

attheedgeofherpanties,butshedoesn’tremovethem.I’monedge,watchingasshespinsincircles,
showingmethatbareass.Shemovescloser,rubbingherassagainstmydick,butstilldancingtothe
beatofthemusic.

Sherollsherheadonhershouldersandstandsrightinfrontofmebeforesheplacesherfingerin

hermouthandsucks.Onebrastrapslidesoffhershoulder,thentheother.Movingherhandsbehind
herback,sheunhookstheblackbraandallowsittofalltothefloor.Herbreastsareperfect,andher
nipplesareatfullattention.She’sstandinginonlyablackthong,witheyesclosed,dancingtotheslow
eroticmusic—justforme.Iswallowhard,andI’mnotsurehowmuchlongerIcanwatch.Surpriseis
anunderstatement;thiswasafuckinggift.

Thesongfinallyends,andsheopenshereyes,lookingatmewithaburningdesire.Shestrides

towardmeandstraddlesmeintheofficechair.Igrabherfacerightbeforeourlipscrashtogether.It’s
asifwe’rebothlostatsea,beingpulledandpushedtogetherbytheundercurrentofoneanother,and
there’snorescueinsight.BeingwithViolaissointensethatit’seasytoforgetabouteverything.It’s
justmeandherandit’sallthatmatters.She’sallthat’severmattered.Andatthismoment,Ifucking
needherasmuchasIneedair.

VIOLA

ThewayTravisisslowlykissingmeisalmosttoomuchformetohandle.Icanfeelhimthrough

hispajamapantsandmypanties,andit’ssohardformetorestrainfrompressingagainsthim.My
skinisonfire,whilehismouthandhandsencapsulatemybodyandsoul.Irememberdreamingabout
thiswhenIwasastupidteenagerwithacrushthatalmostdestroyedme.HavingTraviswraphisarms
aroundmeandstealmybreathawaydoesn’tseemreal,andIkeepwonderingwhenIwillwakeup.
Butashegrabsmynipplebetweenhisteeth,I’mbroughtbacktoreality—tothehereandnow,and
beingtogetherismorerealthanitwilleverbe.

Iknowwherethiswillleadifwekeepgoing.“Youshouldberesting.Nomoregymnastics,

remember?”

Travisthreadshisfingersthroughmyhairandholdsmyfaceinthepalmofhishand.“Thisisn’t

thetimeforlogic,princess.”

Iallowasmallsmirktocrossmylips.“Whydoyouthinkthesepantiesarestillon?”
“You’replayingwithfire,”hegrowls,adjustinghimself.
“Wellthen,IhopeIdon’tgetburned,”Isay,trailingkissesdownhisbody,asIinchhispajama

pantsdown.

MyeyeswidenasIseehowhardheis.He’swearingashit-eatinggrin,onethatquicklyfades

whenIlickthetip.

“Iwanttomakeyoufeelgood,”Iwhisper,lookingupathim.Hismouthopens,thencloses,and

forthefirsttime,I’mprettysurehehasnowords.I’mtakingcontrol.

“Don’tyoudaremoveamuscle,orI’llendthis,”Iwarn,reallywantinghimtotakehisinjuries

seriously.

“Butagoodnursewouldn’tallowmetosuffer.”Hesmirks.
“WhatifIsaidIdidn’twanttobeagoodnursetoday?”Iplacehiminmymouthandswirlmy

tongueonhisthrobbingcock.

“Aslongasyou’reareallybadnurse,I’mgoodwiththat,too.”Hecloseshiseyes,andIfocuson

mymovementswhilelisteningtohislowgroans.Itrytotakehimallinmymouthwhileincreasing
mypace.Smallmoansescapehim,andI’mpleased,knowinghe’senjoyingthisasmuchasIam.I

lickhisshaft,notrushing,beingthebestdamnnurseIknowhowtobe.Igrabhimwithmyhandand
placehiminmymouthandmoveinarhythmicmotion,whichcauseshimtotensebeneathme.

“Princess,”hewhispers.“Ineedtofeelyou.”
Iknowit’sabadideabecauseofhisinjuries,butIneedhimasmuchasheneedsme.Insteadof

protesting,Istand.Hesmilesashemovesmypantiestothesidewithonefinger.Ipushthechair
againstthedeskandstraddlehim,allowinghimtoknowwhathe’sdonetome.

“You’resofuckingwet,”hesaysasIguidehimin.Thewayhefeelsisindescribable,andI

shudderasourendsmeet.It’slikelockandkeyfinallytogetheratonce,bothuselesswithouttheother.

Wetakeitslow,notrushing,notwantingtoputextrastressonhisbody.Henipstheskinofmy

neckwithhisteeth,andIrunmyfingersthroughhishairasItakehim—allofhim—continuously.
Thechairsqueaksoutwithangrysqueals,andI’mafraiditwillcollapseifwecontinue,butitdoesn’t
stopus.Hismouthtravelstomynipple,andhisthumbmovestomyclit.Ashecirclesmyhardbud,
mybodybegsforrelief.It’seasytolosecontrolwithhim,especiallywhenI’monthebrinkof
ecstasy.

Momentslater,I’mtravelingdownapathofnoreturn,losingmyselfinthesensation.Ourlips

crashtogether,andhetasteslikestrawberryjellyandtoothpaste.Ipantintohismouth,ridingthe
never-endingwaveasourbodiesrocktogether.WhenIbitehisbottomlip,Travis’bodytenses.His
fingersdigintomyhipswhilehefightstheimpendingorgasmthat’sbuilding,butit’salosingbattle.
Ashecomes,Traviswrapshisarmsaroundmybodyandholdsmetight,asifheneverwantstolet
mego.Westayinthatpositionforawhile,slowlyandpassionatelykissingoneanother,oureyes
speakingwordsthatourlipscan’ttranslate.We’refrozenintime,andnothingelsematters.

“You’rebeautiful.AndIknowwhatyou’regettingforyourbirthday,mybirthday,andfor

Christmas.”

“What?”IaskasIcleanup.
“Morelingerie.”
“AndIknowwhatyou’regetting,too,”Isaysweetly.
Travistiltshisheadandwaits.
“Blowjobs.”
Travisthrowshisarmsintheair,likearefereeconfirmingatouchdown.“I’min!Mybirthdayis

everydayoftheweek.Ialsolikethemforbreakfast,lunch,anddinner.Agoodgirlfriendwould
agree.AndI’llbeawonderful,lovingboyfriendandsupportit.”

“Girlfriend?”Ijoke.Iputonmyclothesandtrytosmoothmyhairbackintoaponytailasthe

electricityofwhatwedidstreamsthroughme.

“That’swhatyouare.So,don’tbeabadone,unlessyou’rebadlikeyouwereabadnurse.”He

winks,notevenrealizinghiswordscatchmeoffguard.It’sthefirsttimehe’ssaidIwashisgirlfriend
outloud.Iknowweagreedtobetogether,butthetitlemakesitseemofficial,notasee-where-it-goes
kindofthingthatIworkedupinmymind.TravisKingismyboyfriend.Itdoesn’tseemreal.

Oncewe’representableagain,Ispreadmybooksoutonthekitchentableandattempttostudy,but

I’mfindingithardtoconcentrate.Atextdingsonmyphone,anotificationfromtheuniversity,saying
afternoonclassesarecancelledduetoafloodwarning.Iliterallydoafistpump.

“What’sgoingon?”Travisasksashehearsmywhoopofjoy.
“Classiscanceled.Savedbytherain!Iloverain!”
Heleansagainstthedoorframeandgivesmealook.“Thirtyminutesago,yousaidyouhatedit.”
“Well,apparently,IlovethingsthatIsometimeshate,”Isay,notevenrealizingwhatI’djustsaid.
“Iloveyou,too,princess.”Travissmilesandtakesasipofhismilk.MymouthfallsopenthenI

closeitandopenandcloseitagain,butallhedoesislaugh.

“You’reanasshole,”Irepeatthesamewordsthathe’sheardmesayamilliontimesoverthe

years.Myeyeswiden.“Nomoregymnasticsforyou!”

“Butit’smyfavoritesport,”hejokes,buthisdeliveryisalittleoff,andIcantellhe’snotfeeling

well.Itmakesmefeelguilty.

“Gorest.Ifyouneedsomething,justtextme.”
Henodsandwalksdownthehallway.Isitatthetableandhavetoforcemyselftostopthinking

abouthimandus.Hourspass,andIgetthroughmyreadinglist.Therainisactuallyrelaxingwhen
I’mnotfightingit.OnceI’mfinished,IfeelgreataboutwhatIaccomplished.JustasItellmyself‘one
morechapter,’thedoorknobturns,andDrewwalksin,smilinglikehewonthefreakinglottery.

“Areyouokay?”Istopreadingandfocusonhim.
He’ssoakedfromheadtotoe,butthegoofysmileonhisfaceisn’tfading.Hedoesn’tevennotice

thatI’mhereearly.Iguessitalljustlooksnormaltohim,butit’stotallynot.

“What’sthematter,Ican’tbehappy?”
Inarrowmyeyes.“Oh,youcan,butyou’reusuallynot.You’rescaringme.”
Hetakeshisbootsoffatthedoorthengoesstraighttohisbedroomwhistling—yes,whistling—

andchanges.Whenhecomesback,he’swearingazombiet-shirtandsomebasketballshorts.Copby
day,gamerbynight,thedudeisachameleon.

“I’morderingpizza.Cheatdaytocelebrate.”Drewflicksopenanapponhisphoneandseconds

laterthepizzaisordered.

Iraisemyeyebrowsandshovemybooksintomybag.“Whatarewecelebrating,exactly?”
“Miacalledtoday.Shewantstotalkaboutusgettingbacktogether.Ithinkthistimeitmightreally

workout.Vi,shemissesme.”

Ican’tholdbackthedisappointedlookthatcrossesmyface.Drewdeservesmorethanthis.And

she’splayedthisgamewithhimsomanytimesoverthepastfewyearsthatit’salmostsickening.
HearinghernamemakesmyjawclenchbecauseIknowmybrotherisnothingmorethanherbackup
planwhenshe’sbored.Ijustwishhecouldseeit.

Hestandsandwalkstothekitchen,comingbackwithabeerinhand.Yep,he’swaytoohappy,and

Iwanttobehappyforhim,butIcan’tfinditwithinmyselftodoso.

AmIbeinghypocritical?
Iforceoutasmile,notwantingtoupsethim.Ifthisiswhathetrulywants,I’llfinditwithinmy

hearttoaccepthisdecision,andIhopehewoulddothesamethingforme.Acceptingisnotthesame
asliking,Iremindmyself.

HelooksatmelikeI’mcrazy.“You’vegotthatstrangelookonyourfaceagain.”
Drewisn’tanidiot.He’sacopandhasasixthsenseforthisstuff.Buteverytimesomeone

mentionsMia,Ijustthink,‘yeah,she’saSlytherin.’Hell,shemightevenbeVoldemort,butthat’syet
tobedetermined.Iclosemyeyestightandopenthem,tryingtogetagrip.

“You’restillhere?”Travissays,ploppingdowninthechairbesideme.“Youwereinsuchahurry

toleaveafteryoufedmethatshittytoastthatIdidn’tthinkyou’dstickaround.”

Iturnandlookathim,gratefulforhissavinggrace.Helooksmorerestedandnotasexhaustedas

hedidearlier,whichmakesmewanttosmile.Theplatewiththebarelyeatentoastisstillonthetable.
Drewglancesoveratitandlaughsbeforehesitsonthecouchnexttome.Ihavetoplaythisgame,
whetherIwanttoornot.Justfornow,Itellmyself.

“Shutup,Travis.YoushouldbegladIscrapedthemoldoffforyou.”
“Atleastyou’renoteatingkittylittersandwiches,”Drewsayswithabigsmile.“IswearVifedme

onewhenwewerekids.”

NowIgenuinelyamlaughing.ItwasPopRocksandpeanutbutter—asecretrecipe.

TravisnoticeshowannoyinglyhappyDrewis,andquestionsit,justasIhad.“What’supwith

you?”

Drewlooksatme,andIknowI’minterruptingtheirdudetalk,soItakethecueandwalkbackto

thetable.I’mhalf-temptedtopullmybooksbackoutofmybag,butIdon’t.Instead,Igetonmy
phoneandpretendtobesearchingforsomething.I’mfarenoughtobeawaybutcloseenoughtostill
listen.

“Miacalledagain.We’regoingtotalkabouteverythingandfigureouthowtomakeitwork

becauseshesaidshecouldn'tgetoverus.”

Glancingover,InoticeTravis’reactiondoesn’tchange.“That’sgreat,dude.”
Atthisverymoment,IwishIcoulduseLegilimencyandreadhismind,justlikeVoldemortdidto

Harry.

Amillionquestionsstreamthroughmymind,andittakeseverythingformetoholdthemback.

DoesTravisapproveofthis?What’shisopinionaboutherandDrew?Imakeamentalnotetoask
himlater.Itcan’tonlybemewhothinksthisisabadidea.Andsheknowsifshekeepsrunningbackto
Drew,hewillneverhavetimetogetoverher.Ugh.EverydayIdislikeheralittlebitmore.

“Imightdriveupandseeheronmynextdayoff.Shesaidshehasalottodiscusswithme,”Drew

says,chugginghisbeer.“ShementionedadoubledatewithherfriendKaseyinafewweeksandasked
ifyou’dliketojoinus.”

Ifeelmycheeksgopink,andItrytopretendwhatDrewjustsaidisirrelevanttome.
“No,dude.I’mgood.Nowomanshouldhavetodealwithmelookinglikethis.”
MyheartbreaksalittlebecauseIknowthecutsandbruisesbotherhim.ButIdoanimaginary

victorydanceregardless.Iclearmythroat,lettingthemknowthistalkisover,andDrewsitsback,
stillsmiling.Ishakemyheadandplopdownnexttohimonthecouch.I’mjustalittlepissedthat
DrewistryingtohookTravisup,orratherMiais.Idon’tknowwhatshe’splayingat,butsheneedsto
backoff,orshemightfindherselfontheothersideoftheAvadaKedavrakillingcurse.

ItrytoignoreTravis,buthe’ssmiling,becauseheknowsDrewgottome.
“Pantiesstillinaknot?”Travisasksnonchalantly.
“AuntFlo,dude,I’mtellingyou,”DrewsaystoTravis,pointingdirectlyatme.
“I’mnotabouttostartmyperiod,idiots.Seriously!”
Travislaughs,andDrewjoinsin.Itrytoignorethemboth.
Thepizzacomes,andweeat.Therainfinallystops,andby7:00p.m.I’myawninglikeanoldlady.

IgiveDrewasidehugbeforeIleave.Hewassosprawledoutoncloudnine,hedidn’tevennoticeI
didn’thaveordomylaundry.MaybeMiawillbetheperfectdistractionforhim.

“Bye,V,”Travissayswithasmirkonhislips.Iwanttoruntohimandkisshimgoodbye,but

instead,IshakemyheadbeforeIclosethedoor.MyheartisbeatingsofastasIdrivehomethatIhave
toremindmyselftobreathe.MiaistryingtogetDrewback.Travisisgoingtotellhimaboutus.My
lifecouldeasilytransitionintoasoapopera.

WhenIarriveatmydorm,Ashleyismakingcoffeecupcakeinthemicrowave.Dormlifesucks

sometimes.Icouldn’thelpbutmakeafacebecauseitalwayssmellssodisgustingbecausesheputs
proteinpowderinthere,too.

“IgetbywithwhatIcan.Ohhey,there’ssomemailonthecounterforyou.Ipickeditupfromthe

officethismorningafterclass.”Sheputsaspoonfulofmushinhermouthandsmiles.

Idropmybooksandlaughathowlouditisasthethudechoesfromthehighceilings.

Nonchalantly,Iwalktothecounterandstartgoingthroughthepilesofjunkmailthatarestackedup
overbreak,untilIcomeacrossacream-coloredenvelopewitharedseal.Thefrontisaddressedto
Ms.ViolaFisherwithagenericP.O.Boxasthereturnaddress.

MyheartbeginstoraceasIpeeltheenvelopeopenandreadasfastasIcan.WhenIreadthe

words,“You’vebeenselectedforaninternshipwithUnionInternational,”myheartstops.Oneofthe
largestcorporationsintheUnitedStateswantstogiveme,thebook-lovingHarryPotternerdwith
littletonoexperience,achance.Attachedtothebackoftheletteristhreepagesofpaperworkthat
mustbesubmittedsoon.Theinternshipwouldstarttwoweeksaftergraduation,andIwouldbe
requiredtomovetoBostonandlivethereforsixmonths.Idroptheletteronthecounter,unsureof
howtofeelbecauseI’mridingarollercoasterofemotions.Thisisanotherthingtoaddtomylistof
worries,whichseemstobegettinglongerbytheminute.

Traviswasright;opportunitiesdosometimescomewhenleastexpected.Ineverinamillionyears

imaginedthatI’dbechosenoutofthethousandswhoapplyeachyear.Isubmittedanapplicationona
whim,andnow,asIstaredownattheivorypaperwiththeprecision-printedmessage,IrealizeImust
makeonethehardestdecisionsofmylife.Myentirefuturedependsonit.

CHAPTEREIGHT

TRAVIS

DayswhenViolaisatschoolandtutoringintheeveningssuckass,andIwishevenmoreIwas

abletooccupymyselfwithgoingtothegymorevengoingintowork.SinceI’mnotabletodoeither,
allthat’sleftareDrew’svideogames.

I’mnotusuallymuchofagamer,butifIhavenothingbettertodo,itfillsthetime.Hehasallthe

newestones,includingCallofDutyandMadden17,soI’vebeenswitchingbackandforthbetween
them.AfterWednesday’sclosecallwithDrewaskingaboutViola,Iknewwehadtostartbeingmore
carefulifweweregoingtopostponetellinghim.Myplanistogetusoutofthehousefinallybecause
GodknowsI’mgoingstircrazybeingherealldamnday,butalsobecauseIwanttotakeViolaonour
firstlunchdate.

Atexactly11:15,IhearthefrontdooropenandshutandViola’sfootstepsagainstthehardwood

floor.Herclassendsat11:00a.m.andshe’salwaysconsistentaboutbeingontime.It’soneofthe
dorkylittlequirksIloveabouther.

“Areyoulimping?”IaskherassoonasIseeher.
“Shutup.”Hermouthtwitchesasshetriestoholdherpout.“Leaveallyourcommentstoyourself,

please.”

She’sfeistierthanusualtoday,andIfuckingloveit.
“Dammit.Ihadareallygoodone,too.”Ismileasshetakesaspotnexttomeonthecouch.
Shelooksatmeandrollshereyes.
“Roughmorning?”
“No,I’mjustnotgettingalotofsleepthesedays.”Shegivesmeapointedlook.
“Meeither,somaybeweshouldjustsuffertogetherandsleepinthesamebed.”
“Tookyoulessthanfiveminutesthistime,huh?”Shesighs,takingthegamecontrollerfrommy

hand.

“Oh,itwould’vebeenlessthanaminutehadyounotbeenlimpinginherelikeyou’djustriddena

horse.”Igrin,despitehersideglare.

Shefinallycracksasmile,andmyentirebodylightsup.“Yousuckatthisgame,bytheway.”
IfocusmyattentionontheTV,whereshe’sdominating,whileIwasjustbarelygoingtosurviveto

thenextlevel.“Youareatruenerd,throughandthrough.”

“Anerdwhocouldkickyourass,”shefiresback,andI’mtemptedtothrowthatcontrolleroutof

herhandsandburymyfaceinherneck.

“Let’sjustseeaboutthat,”Ichallenge,grabbingtheothercontrollerofftheendtable.Shedoesn’t

playmucheither,soI’mmoderatelyoptimisticthatIcanbeather.

“Youwanttowager?”Theplayfultoneofhervoicemakesmesmile.It’sthefirsttimeallweek

I’veseenhervisiblyrelaxwithoutphysicallywearingheroutfirst.

“Wouldn’titbeeasiertosurrender,insteadofgoingthroughthehumiliationoflosingtoa

cripple?”

Shesnortsandwigglesherasstotheedgeofthesofa.“Don’tyoudareplaythecripplecard!”She

laughsasIaimandfireatheronthescreen.“Youhadmylegswrappedaroundyourshouldersasyou
nearlysplitmybodyinhalf,sodon’teventryit.”

Thememoriesfloodinandmydickgetshardjustthinkingaboutit.WhileI’mdistractedby

thoughtsofher,sheaimsandshootsdirectlyatme.

“Ha!”Shepumpsafistintheair.“You’resoeasy.”
Irubahandoverthestubbleofmyjawlineandlookintentlyather.“So,that’showwe’regoingto

play,huh?Youthinkalittledirtytalkisgoingtodistractme?”

“IthinkIjustprovedit,so...yeah.”Thesmugexpressiononherfacegivesmelife,butIwon’t

admitthattoherrightnow.I’llplaybyherrulesifthat’showshewantstoplaythegame.

Tossingtheremotedownonthecouch,Ibringmyfingersdowntothebottomofmyshirtandlift

itovermyhead.Sheglancesoveratme,eyeingthetattoosonmychestandarms,openinghermouth,
butdoesn’tsayanything,andthenquicklyforcesherlipsintoafirmline.

“I’mnottheonlyeasyone,princess.”Iwink,andshescoffs,turningaway.Ilaughatherdenial

becauseIknowit’sdrivingherinsane.

Ifinallywinaround,andinsteadoftellingmeoff,shemimicsmymovesandsetshercontroller

downbeforeliftinghershirtoverherhead.She’swearingatinylittlecamisole,andIcanseeherhard
nipplesatattentionrightunderthefabric.

Istaysilent,refusingtoadmitI’mmuchmoreinterestedinsuckingonhertitsthanplayingthis

game.Beforestartingherturn,shegrabsthehairtiefromherwristandpullsherhairup,exposing
herneckandchest.Fuckinghell.

Exceptshedoesn’tstopthere.Onceherhairistiedup,shegrabshercontrolleranddragsitdown

withhertothefloorassheliesonherstomach.Shebendsherkneesandperksherassupasshe
shufflesherlegsbackandforthintheair.

So,thisishowshewantstoplayit...gameon,princess.
However,beforemytranceisbroken,she’smanagedtoblowmeupandbeginsgigglingabout

howherplantodistractmeisworking.Beforeshecanhumiliatemeagain,Itakemattersintomy
handsandlowermyselftothefloorbehindher,lockingmykneesaroundherthighs.

“Whatdoyouthinkyou’redoing?”sheasks,lookingoverhershoulder.
“Youdidn’treallythinkyourevillittleplanwasgoingtowork,didyou?”
“Idon’tknow.Youtellme.”Shewigglesherassagainstmythigh,whichdoesn’thelpeasethe

pulsatinginmycock.

She’swearingshorts,whichgivesmeanadvantage,soIslidemypalmuphershortsandcupher

asscheekoverhercottonpanties.ShesquealsandIsqueezeitagain.

“That’scheating!”Shetriespushingmyhandaway,butIbarelyflinchathermovements.“No

touchingallowed!”

“Ididn’tagreetothat,princess.”Ipressthepadofmythumbagainstherpussyandcirclethe

fabricofherpanties.“Youwantedtoplay,remember?”

Aloudboomechoesfromthescreen,butI’mnolongerinterestedinthewarthat’sgoingon.I

planonengaginginadifferentgame.

“Well,I’mnotgoingtoplaybymyself,sopickupyourdamncontroller!”shedemands,andI

smileatherbossyside.

“Icanplayone-handed,”Ismirk,eventhoughshecan’tseeme.Igiveinandshootafewrounds,

pretendingtogiveashitaboutthegameinfrontofuswhenI’dmuchratherplaywithwhat’sinside
hershortsinstead.

“Stopit!”Sheswatsmyhand,laughingasshetriestokeephereyesontheTV.“IfI’mgoingto

kickyourass,Iwanttodoitfairandsquare.”

Tossingthecontrollerbackontothesofa,Iundothetopbuttonofmyjeansandthenunzipjustas

fast.“Whenhaveyoueverwantedtoplayfairandsquare?”

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?Ialwaysplayfair.”Thetoneinhervoicedoesnothingtoconvince

me,andIcanseethecornerofherlipstiltupwhensheglancesbackatme.

Islideafingerinsideherpantiesandfindheralreadywetandaroused.Iknowshewantsitas

badlyasIdo.TheneedtohaveherincreaseseverytimeIseeher,whichisn’tsomethingI’musedto.I
neverwantedmorewithagirlbefore,butViolamakesmewantallthedaysandnightswithher,and
eventhen,itwouldn’tbeenough.

“Travis...”shewarns,butherbodyshiversagainstmine,givingheraway.
Watchingher,Icantellshe’sdistractedandevenmoreso,shelikesthedistractions.Herfingers

arenolongermovingalongthecontroller,andherneckhasgoneweak,fallingbetweenher
shouldersasIslidemyfingerinsideher.

IcanhearherarousalasIslideinandout,buildingherupuntilshe’salmostlostallcontrol.Just

beforesheclampsherpussyaroundmyfingers,Igrabmycontrolleroffthecouchandfirerightat
her.Theechoingofthegunshotswhipsherheadbackupasthescreenfillswithblood.She’sdead.

“Youasshole!”shescreeches,pickingthecontrollerbackup.“Youtotallydidthatonpurpose.”

Shelooksoverhershoulderandpincheshereyestight.

Isuckonmyfingersthattasteofherandsmile.“Andyoufellforit,princess.”
“Allright,soit’sgoingtobelikethat.”Sheturnsaround,stillonherknees.Iwatchasshedrops

herhandstomyjeansthatarealreadyundone.“Lookslikeyouweregettingreadyforme.”

“I’malwaysreadyforyou.”Iflashaslygrinandplacemyhandsonmyhips.
“Thisiswhathappenswhenyoutellasexaddicttorestandnothaveanyphysicalactivityforsix

weeks.”Sherollshereyesatmeasshepalmsmycockthroughmyshorts.

“Yougetrebelliousbehavior?”
“Somethinglikethat.”Shelaughs.
Sheslidesherhandinsidemyshortsandbeginsstrokingmycock.Hereyesstayfocusedonmine

assherubsthelengthofmyshaftwithonehandandcirclesherpalmaroundthetip.She’sworking
meintoafrenzy,andI’mnotsurehowmuchlongerIcanholdback.Iwanttoflipherover,pullher
hipsupuntilherperkyassisintheair,andfuckheruntilwe’rebothstingingwithcarpetburn.

Ileandownandcupherface,pullingherlipstomineasshecontinuesstrokingme.Myotherhand

pullsdownhercamisoleandbrauntilherbreastisinmypalm.Shemoansinmymouth,andI
squeezeherbreast,wantingeveryitemofclothingbetweenusgone.

Shefidgetswiththebuttonofherjeanshortsuntilshe’sabletounzipandpullthemdowntoher

knees.Myhandslidesdownherbackandcupsherasscheek,pullingherfleshagainstmine.Sherubs
thelengthofmycockinbetweenherlegs,againstthepantiesthatarebecominganannoyance.Ineed
themgone.

Mymouthlandsonherneck,andIsuckjustunderherear,featheringkissesallthewaydownto

hercollarbone.Shehumsinresponse,andIcanfeelherbodyheatingup.

Shewrapsahandaroundmyneckandpullsmedownuntilherlipsarepressedtomyear.“I’ve

imaginedyoufuckingmeonthiscouchforyears.”Herwordsvibrateagainsttheshellofmyear,and
I’mabouttwosecondsawayfromexplodinginherhand.

“Goddammit,youcan’tsayshitlikethat,”Ihiss,fightingeveryurgetobendherassoverthe

couchlikeshe’sbeggingfor.Iwantmorethananythingtoburymyselfinsideher,butIknowshe’s
stillplayingsometwistedmindgamewithme.

“Andwhy’sthat?”Shelooksupatme,herlipsinapout.“Youdon’twantmeanymore?”
“Don’tbefuckingcrazynow,”Isay,knowingherangle.
“Thenwhatisit?”sheasksasshepullshercamisoleoverherheadandtossesit.Mydickrises

highertoattentionasIwatchherwrapherarmsaroundherbackandunclaspherbra.

Iswallow,decidingthatIdon’tcarewhatherangleisanymore;Ifuckingneedher.

“Givemeyourcontroller,”Isay,reachingaroundher,butshestopsme.
“Noway.”Sheblocksmyhandagain.“I’mnotsurrendering.”
Itiltmyheadatherwithaknowingsmirk.“So,beingacockteaseisyourangle?”
“Iworkwithmyadvantages.”Shegrins,pushingherchestout.
Narrowingmyeyesather,Itrytothinkthroughmynextmove.Idon’tgivetwoshitsaboutthe

damnvideogame,butIdecidetoplayherlittlegame.Shewantstoplayhardtoget;I’mthefucking
championatthatsport.

Withoutgivingheranyindicationbeforehand,Igrabherhipsandflipheroverbeforeshehasa

chancetostopme.Herchestpressesagainstthecarpet,andIlayontopofher,keepingherundermy
control.

“Dammit,Travis!”Shesquirms,archingherhipsofftheground,butIpressmyhardbodyinto

hers,andshebarelybudges.“You’resuchadamncheater.”

Iplaceakisstoherneckandsmile.“Youaren’ttheonlyonewhoworkswiththeiradvantages.”
“Musclesornot,I’mstillgoingtokickyourassatthisgame.”Shegrabshercontroller,andI

grabmine.She’snotgoingtogiveupuntilthegameisover.

Istraddleherwithmykneesonbothsidesofher,carefullyadjustingmyweight,soIdon’tcrush

her,butjustenoughtomakesureshedoesn’ttryanymoretricks.

Unabletopayattention,she’scompletelykickingmyass.EverytimeIaimfireather,sheseesme

firstandshoots.She’sgiggling,andwigglingherassunderneathme,temptingallthewillpowerI
haveleft.

Knowingverywellshe’sgoingtobeatmebeforethegameisevenover,IdecideI’dmuchrather

winatourotherlittlegame.Isetmycontrollerasideandslidemyshortsallthewaydown.Hercotton
pantiesarenext.Hercurvyassisperfection,andIslapitoncebeforeslidingafingerbackinsideher.

Shestayscompletelysilent,notgivinganythingaway.Icantellshe’stryingtofightit,butinabout

tenseconds,shewon’tbeabletofightanything.

Ashardasitis,she’stryingtofocusonthevideogame,pretendingshe’snotaffectedbymeatall,

butit’salostcause.I’mabouttomakeherforgethername.Ipressthetipofmycockagainstherass.
ShearchesherhipsjustenoughsoIcanspreadhercheeksandslideinsideher.

Ihearherbreathhitchassheslowshermovementsonthegamecontroller.Shearchesherhips

again,lettingmesinkevendeeper.Herpussyclampsaroundme,andIwastenotimeforminga
rhythm.Shefinallydropsthatdamncontroller,soItakefulladvantage,grabbingminejustintimeto
fireshotsatherwhileshe’sotherwiseoccupied.

Withhercheekpressedagainstthecarpet,shemurmurs,“Youdirtyasshole.”
Ismileandtossthecontroller,wrappingahandaroundherthroatandwhisperinginherear,

“WhatdidIsayaboutplayinggameswiththeking,princess?”Idragthetipofmytonguealongher
earanddownherneck.“I’mabouttoteachyouaroyallesson.”

VIOLA

Iforgotwhatitwasliketobeinanewrelationshipwiththeall-consuming,desperatetobenear

oneanother,sex24/7feeling.

InalmosteveryromancenovelI’veread,thecouplegoesthroughacycleofnonstopsexwhile

waitingtogettoknoweachotherafterthefact.I’mnotopposedtothenonstopsexonebit,butI’ve
knownTravisforthelasttenyears.Ialreadyknowhimandtrusthimwitheverybeatofmyheart.I’ve
hadmydoubtssincethiswholethingbegan,buteverysingledayheprovesmewrong,andIfall
deeperanddeeper.

AndIneverwantthatfeelingtogoaway.Ever.
ButwhatweighsonmymindisfinallytellingDrewaboutus,andwhat’sgoingtohappenafter

graduation.I’maworrierbynature,soit’snoteasytorelaxaboutthingsthatbotherme,butIgetlost
everytimeTravisandIaretogether.Mymindblocksoutthenegative,andmybodybegsforhis
touch.

Itneverfeelslikeenough.
Oncemyhandsareblotchyandstingingfromcarpetburn,TravisandIlaytangledtogetheronthe

floor.Hekeptmebentover,rockingbackandforthinsidemeasIclenchedmyfingersunderneath
me.HewrappedanarmaroundmywaistandrubbedmyclituntilIcouldnolongertakeit.Hisother
handgrabbedmybreastasIscreamedouthisnameandhecameinsideme.

“Iwonderifcumstainscarpet.”
Hechuckles.“Iwasjustabouttoaskwhatyouwerethinkingabout,butmaybeIdon’twantto

know.”

Iplayfullypatahandoverhisflawlessabs.“It’savalidconcern.”
“Oh,definitely.”IhearhiscondescendingtoneandknowhethinksI’mbeingcrazy.
“I’mgoingtoGoogleit,”Isay,tryingtositup,buthepullsmebackdown.
“Youareseriouslythebiggestnerd.”Hewrapshisarmaroundmeagainandkissesthetopofmy

nose.“I’lltakecareofit,okay?IthinkIhavealittlemoreexperienceinthatareathanyou.”

Irollmyeyesathimandsigh.“Fine.”
Welayinsilenceforashortmoment,untilmystomachbeginsgrowlingandIrealizeIhaven’t

eatensincebeforeclassthismorning.

“That’sit,”hesays,pullingusbothup.“Youneedfuel.”
“Icanmakesomething,”Ioffer,reachingformybraandshirt.“Icanmakeagrilledcheeseand

soupifyouwant.”

Hegrabsmyhandandplacesasweetkissonit.“No.Nottoday,princess.”
“Oh?”Iraisemybrows.“Areyougoingtocookformethen?”
“Evenbetter.”Heplacesanotherquickkiss.“Today,I’mtakingyouout.Getdressed.”
“Wait,”Isay,followinghisleadandstandingup.“Likeout,out?”
“Yeah.You’remygirl,andIwanttotakeyououtforlunch.Youokaywiththat?”Hislipscurve

intoadevilishgrin,knowingexactlywhathiswordsdotome.

Ipinchmylips,fightingtheurgetoplasterabig,cheesygrinovermyface.Travisdoesn’tdo

dates—ever.Eveninhighschool,hishookupsnevergottheroyaltreatmentthatIknowhe’skept
exclusivelyforme.

“Okay.”Ismile.
Webothredressandcleanourselvesbackup.Myhairlookslikeitwentthroughthedryerandmy

makeupissmudgedallthewaydowntomyneck.IwatchasTravissplasheswateroverhisfaceand
gargleswithsomemouthwash.Webothstandinthebathroom,gettingreadylikewe’resomeold
couplethat’sbeensharingabathroomforfiftyyears.It’snice.Comforting.

Hewincesashepullshisshirtbackon,andthat’swhenInoticethebruiseonhischestisstilldark.
“Itlooksprettydarkstill,”Isay,facinghimsoIcananalyzeitbetter.
“Itdoesn’thurt,princess,”heanswersasifhe’sreadingmymind.“JustalittlesorewhenIraise

myarmsup,butotherthanthat,it’smanageable.”

“Areyoutakingthepainmeds?”
“Onlyatnight,butIdon’tplanonrefillingthemeither.Ihaveafollow-upappointmentnextweek,

andthey’llprobablygivemesomethingthatisn’tsostrongifIneedit.”

“Youwerelucky,”Isay,rubbingahandoverthefabricoftheshirt.“Probablyitwasallthose

bulkymusclesthatprotectedyoufromfurtherinternalinjuries.”

“Yousaythatlikeit’sabadthing.”
Ismileupathim.“It’snot.Justthattheycouldcrushmeinasecond,soI’msuretheyactedlikea

littleextrapaddingduringtheaccident.”

“It’spossible.I’msureifIweresomescrawnyrunt,Iwould’vesnappedinhalf.”
“Iknowthatfeeling,”Ideadpan,hidingaknowingsmirk.
Heleansdownandkissesmesoftly.“Sorryaboutthat.”
“I’msure.”Ismileagain,andIfeellikemycheeksaregoingtoswellfromallthedamnsmiling

I’vebeendoingthisweek.“Allright,King.Feedyourwoman.”

“Leadtheway,mylady,”hesays,followingmedownthehall.SinceTravis’carwastotaled,and

hehasn’tbotheredtorentonesincehe’slaidup,wehavetotakemine.

“Letmedrive,”hesaysaswewalkouttomycar,holdinghishandout.
Igivehimalook,pullingthekeysbackoutofhisreach.“Idon’tknowthatIshouldtrustyouwith

Tatum.”

“Tatum?YounamedyourcarTatum?”
Iputmyhandsonmyhipsandnarrowmyeyesathim.“Yes,ChanningTatum.Doyouhavea

problemwiththat?”

“Depends.Doyouhaveanameforallyourfavoritethings?”heasksaswecontinuewalking.
Irollmyeyes,knowingwherehe’sgoingwiththis.“Letmeguess.Youthinkallgirlsnametheir

titsMary-KateandAshley.”

“Iwasgoingtosayshoes,butifyounameyourtits,wehavetotalkaboutthis.”
Ithrowhimmykeysandwalktothepassengerside.“Hereyougo,JustinTimberlake.Don’tcrash

it.”Iflashafakesmilehiswayjusttopushhisbuttonsevenmore.

Aswedrivetotherestaurant,Travis’phoneringsandIseeDrew’snameflashacrossitbeforehe

picksitup.Heturnsthemusicdownandanswersitafterthesecondring.

“Hey,man.What’sup?”
Theychatforaminutebeforeheglancesoverandlooksatme.Ican’ttellwhatthey’retalking

about,butitgivesmeafunnyfeeling.

“Okay,soundsgood.So,thebothofyouwouldgothen?”heasks,glancingoveratmeagain,and

thistimeIfurrowmybrowsinconfusion.Whatthehellcouldhebetalkingabout?

“Nah,I’llbefine.Feelinggoodasnewalready.”Theyexchangedonceagainbeforehesays

goodbyeandhangsup.

“Well?”Iask,anxioustoknowwhatDrewsaid.
“Apparently,youtwoareheadinghomethisweekend.”
“What?Why?”Thisisnewstome.
“YourmomcalledDrewandsaidshewantedthebothofyoutocometomorrowandstaythe

night.”

“Whatfor?”Ihaven’tsleptinthesamehouseasmymotherinalmostfouryears.Iloveher,but

wedon’thavemuchincommonanymore.

“I’mnotreallysure.Hedidn’tknowspecifics.”Helooksoveratme,concernwritteninhis

expressionashetriestoreadmine.

“Whydon’tyouaskDrewifyoucantagalong?Tellhimyou’llbeboredorsomething.”Ireally

don’twanttogowithouthim.

“Youjustwantmeasyoursecretsextoy,don’tyou?”Hegrins,andIwanttosmackthatsmile

rightoffhiscockyface.

“NowIrememberwhyIhatedyousomuch,”Itease.Icheckmyphoneforanymessagesfrommy

momorDrew,andtherearenone.Whythehelldidn’tshecallme?Whydidn’the?

“Hateisreallythesisteroflove,”heretorts,flashingamockinggrin.

“Hateisalsothecousinofmurder,”Ifireback.Hisheadfallsbackwithlaughterasheshakeshis

headatme.“Goodtoknowsexdoesn’tfilteryoursenseofhumor.”

“No,justmytoleranceforassholes.”
Hepressesahandtohischest.“Ow.Thatonehurt.”
Irollmyeyesandsmile.
Wefinallyarriveatacharminglittlecaféforlunch.I’msohungrythatIwarnTravisthatImight

ordertheentiremenu.Hegrabsmyhandaswewalkinside,andforthefirsttime,itfeelslikeTravis
andIarearealcouple,outingourselvestotheworldandgoingonadate.Althoughit’sjustlunch,it’s
ahugestepforus.

Nowallwehavetodoistellthepersonclosesttousbothandhopehedoesn’twanttokillus

together.

AfterlunchanddroppingTravisoffatthehouse,IdrivebacktoschoolandcallDrewonmyway.

Ineedtoknowwhatthehellisgoingonorit’sgoingtoeatatmetherestofthenight.

“Hey,Iwasjustgoingtocallyou,”heanswers.
“Oh?Whatabout?”Hecan’tknowthatTravisalreadytoldme,soIplaydumb.
“Momwantsustocomethisweekendandstayovernight.Itoldherwe’dbethereforlunch

tomorrow,sopackabag,andI’llcomepickyouuparoundten.”

“Don’tIgetachoice?”Iadd.“Didshesaywhatthehellfor?”
“No,nothingspecific.Andno,ifIhavetosuffer,sodoyou.”
Igroan.WoulditmakemesoundlikeabratifIdidn’twanttogo?ButIdon’twanttodisappoint

mymom,soreluctantlyIagree.

Afterhangingup,Iheadtoclassandimmediatelyafter,Iheadbacktomydormandpackan

overnightbag.ImakesuretobringafewextrabooksjustincaseandstoretheminmyfavoriteBook
Beausleeves.ItextTravisbeforecrawlingintobed,andtellhimhowmuchI’llmisshim.Ialsomake
suretoremindhimoftheleftoverChinesefoodinthefridgethatDrewbroughthome,sohedoesn’t
gohungry.

Andofcourse,beingthecockybastardthatheis,respondswithasmartasscomment.

T:Don’tforgettotalkshitaboutmeallweekend,otherwiseDrewmightgetsuspicious.

V:Shouldn’tbetoohard.Beendoingitforthepasttenyears:)

T:So,youhavelotsofpracticethen.Butmaybejustslipinalittlementionabouthowbigyou
thinkmydickis.

V:Notasbigasyouregoapparently!

T:Youcan’thelpbutlovebothqualitiesaboutmethough;)

Ilaughtomyself,knowinghe’srightaboutthat.
ItexthimonelastgoodnighttextbeforegrabbingmyKindleandfallingasleep.

Ihearnoisescomingfromoutsidemydoor,whichmeansmyroommatesareupandhaveabsolutely
noconsiderationforanyoneelseinthehouse.Rollingover,Igrabmyphoneandseeacollectionof
textmessagesfromTravis.

Top5reasonsyouhavethebestboyfriendintheworld...

#1.You’llalwayslookgoodonmyarm(myverymusculararm,ofcourse).

#2.I’llalwaysletyoueatthelastFrenchfryoffmyplateevenifyoudiptheminmayoandit’s
thegrossestthingever.

Ichuckleatthesecondone,rememberingwhenwewerekidsthathealwayssharedhisfrieswith

mebecauseIalwaysranoutbeforeeveryoneelse.

#3.I’llalwaysletyoubethefirsttocountto5—you’rewelcome.

#4.EventhoughI’dneveradmititpublicly,I’llwatchyourcheesychickflickswithyou(mostly
becauseIhopeitendswithyouunderneathme).

IlaughatthememoryofuswatchingBridgetJones’Diary.

#5.I’lleatyourpussyforbreakfast,lunch,ordinner(actuallyall3becauseI’magreedy
bastard).

Byhislasttext,I’mblushinglikehellandgigglingallatthesametime.Itstilldoesn’tfeelreal.I

decidetoreturnthefavorandtexthimbackbeforeIhavetogetreadyandleave.

Top5reasonsyouhavethebestgirlfriendintheworld...
#1-5.Sheputsupwithyourshit.
Bonusreason:Mary-KateandAshley(you’rewelcome).

Ismileproudlyandfinallygetuptotakeashower.OnceI’mdressedandmyhairisbrushed,I

headouttothekitchenwheremyroommatesareallhoveringoverthecoffeepotasifit’sgoingto
spewoutmilliondollarbillsatanymoment.

“Whoisthisstranger?”Ashleyaskswithasmile.
“Ithinksheliveshere,”Kateadds.
“Wehaven’tseenyouinyears,”Kaylaexclaimsinanoverly-dramatictone.
IrollmyeyesasIdropmybagontopofthetable.
“You’realldramaqueens,”Ifireback.“Andfortherecord,Idolivehere,inbetweenstudying

andtryingtogetsomesleep.”

“Andgettinglaid,”Kaylaquips.Herlightbrownhairistwistedupintoamessybun,andher

makeupisstillonfromthenightbefore.Wehaven’thungoutalotthissemester,butwe’veknown
eachotherforthepastcoupleofyears.She’susuallythequietone,too,sothefactthatshe’stheoneto
mentionthatmakesmesuspiciousofwhatthey’reallthinking.

Ifurrowmybrows,actingconfused.“Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.”Ipretendtolook

forsomethinginmybag,butIknowtheycanseerightthroughme.

“Youhaveitwrittenalloveryou,girlfriend,”Ashleyspeaksup.“You’regoneforlunchalmost

everyday;you’redistractedwhenyouactuallyarehere,orrather,whenyouaren’tlockedupinyour
room,andyouhaven’tbeenabletowipethatstupidgiddysmileoffyourfaceforthepastweek.”

“So,thatautomaticallymeansI’mgettinglaid?”
“Yes,”theyallsayinunison,andIblush,becausedammit,Iwastryingsohardnottobethatgirl.

“Well,I’mpleadingthefifth.”Igrabmybagandtossitovermyshoulder.“I’mheadinghomefor

theweekend,though,sothatmeansIwon’tbebackuntiltomorrow.”

“Didsomeonedie?”Kate’squestioncatchesmeoffguard.
“No,why?”
“Ican’trememberthelasttimeyouwenthomefortheweekend.”
Ishrug,knowingshe’sright,butnotwantingtogetintothedetailsofit.
“DrewandIarejustgoingforashortvisit;that’sall.”
“Oh,you’regoingwithyourbrother?”Kayla’svoicesuddenlyincreasesanoctave.Seriously?

WhydoallmyfriendswantinsideDrew’spants?

“Yes,andunfortunately,he’sgoingtotorturemewithallthedetailsofhimandhislame

girlfriend.”Iwishhewouldn’t.

“He’sstilldatingthatsamegirlhemetlastsummer?”sheasks.
Ishruglightly,notsurewhat’sgoingonbetweenthematthemoment.“Onandoff,soI’mnot

certain,butIknowDrew’scrazyabouther.”Godonlyknowswhy.

“Well,tellhimhiforme!”
“Uh,sure!”Islidemyshoesonandheadtowardthedoor,wavingtotherestofthem.“Bye,guys!”
IseeatextfromDrewfilterinandIquicklyreadit.

D:Betherein5.Yourassbetterbeready.

IrollmyeyesandscoffathisassumptionthatIwouldn’tbe.

V:I’vebeenwaitingforoverahalfanhour.YourassbetterhaveStarbucksandablueberry
muffin.

Imight’vebentthetruthabit,buthedoesn’thavetoknowthat.IseeTravismessagedmebackas

well.

T:TobefairtoMary-KateandAshley,Ithinktheyshouldbe#1-5onyourlist.Theydowork
reallyhardonbeingfirm,perky,andalwaysmakesuretheirnipplesareatattentionwhenI’m
around.Nottomention,theyhavethissuperpowerwayofcommunicatingtomydickanytime
they’relookingforsomeextraattention.Ithinkthat’salegitskill.

V:You’reridiculous.P.S.Don’tactsosurprisedatallmymarveloustalents.Mypussyhas
magicalpowers,too.

T:Wonderful.NowI’mhard.

Ilaughjustthinkingabouthowheprobablyreallyishard.

V:Toldyou.Magicalpowers.
T:WellifyouwantsomeREALdickpicsthisweekend,justletmeknow:)

Smiling,Irespond.
V:Why?Youknowagoodpornsite?
T:Don’ttemptme,princess...
V:Andwhatfunwouldthatbe?
Drewpullsupinhisjacked-uptruckjustasIhitsend,soIstuffmyphoneintomypocket.

“Abouttime!”Ishoutthroughthewindow.“Icould’vebeenkidnappedouthere,I’vebeenwaiting

solong.”

“Shutupandcomegetyourcoffee,smartass.”
“Someone’sinagoodmoodthismorning,”Itease,throwingmybaginthebackandhoppingin

thepassengerseat.

“I’malwaysinagoodmood;whatareyoutalkingabout?”
Isnortandsnapmybuckleinplace.“Well,areyoureadytogetthisoverwith?”
“I’drathercutmyrighttesticleoff.”Hegroans,pullingoutoftheparkinglot.
“Well,Iknowafewfriendsofminewouldbedisappointed,somaybeleavethemattachedfor

now.”

Hefinallybreaksasmileandlaughs.“Deal.”

CHAPTERNINE

TRAVIS

I’mactuallystartingtoenjoywakinguptonoalarm.Ashardasitis,ItrynottotextViolawhileshe’s
withDrew.Thelessdistractedsheis,thebetter,becauseherbodygivesheraway,andwecan’tbe
havingthat.AndthefactthatDrewisaroundandVioladoesn’tlockherphoneevermakesitalittle
dangerous.

Mycellvibratesinmypocket,andIpullitoutandseemymother ’spictureflashacrossthe

screen.Quickly,Ianswer.

“Iwasthinkingaboutdrivingovertodaytovisityou.Wanttogooutforlunch?”
“Yeah,Mom,sure.I’dlovetoseeyou.”Ilookaroundatthemini-disasterthehouseisinandcan’t

helpbutglanceatthespotwhereViolaandIchristenedthefloor.Itwasafirstforme,too.

Anhourlater,Idecidetogetdressed.I’msurethewholeJustinBieberwifebeaterandbaggy

joggingpantslookwithmessyasshairwouldn’tbeacceptable.Iatleasthavetotrytolook
presentableformymother.WhenIhearacardoorshut,Icheckthepeephole.Beforeshecanknock,I
openthedoorandpullherintoahug.

“Oh,son!Yourface.”
Ismile.“Youshouldseetheotherguy.”
“Iwasworriedaboutyou.Istoppedbythehospital.”
“Iknow,Iknow.I’mfine.”
Ilockupthehouse,andthenwedrivetoadeliacrosstownthatsheloves.Apparently,theyserve

thebestchickensaladinallofCalifornia,orsoshesays.Onceweorder,Ifillherinoneverything
that’sbeengoingonsincetheaccident.

“So,yourcar?”Shetakesasipofwater.
“Totaled.”Ihaven’tthoughtaboutittoomuch.NextweekI’llhavetostarttakingcareofbusiness.

ThatcarwasthefirstexpensivethingIboughtmyselfafterIstartedworkingatCrawfordMarketing.

“Iknowhowlongyousavedforit,”shesays,lookingalittlesad.
“Fullcoverageisamazing.I’llgetanotherone.Butwithheatedseatsanddarkertint.”Ilaugh,

tryingtolightenthemood.

“How’sthejob?”She’saskingtheusualquestionstofilltime.
Afterourfoodarrives,shetakesabiteofhersandwich.Ipickatmysalad,butI’mnothungry,as

usual.

“I’mwaitingtobeclearedtogobacktowork.Ihaveafollow-upappointmentnextweek.”
“Theystillgivingyouahardtime?”
Igiveheralookthattellshereverythingshewantstoknow.
Sheshakesherhead.“Rememberwhenyoutalkedaboutstartingyourownbusiness?Thatwas

yourdreamforsolong,Travis.”

Mymindtemporarilywanders.“Yeah,Ido.”
“Haveyougivenitanymorethought?”
“Sometimes.ButonlywhenI’mhavingasupershittydayatwork.”

Shegivesmealookoncethecursewordleavesmymouth.
“Sorry,butyouknowwhatImean,Mom.Theycanbeso...corporate.”
Wesitinsilenceforamoment.“So,what’sholdingyouback?”
Ihaven’tthoughtaboutitinawhile.Itjustdoesn’tseemfeasible,consideringIhaveagreatjob

thatpaysmewell.MostpeopleinmyclasswouldhavediedtolandthejobIdidsosoonafter
graduation.Overathousandpeopleappliedformyposition.Iwastheliteralneedleinthehaystack.
ButIwouldbelyingifIsaidIhaven’tthoughtaboutit.SometimesIlookatthepeoplethathavebeen
thereforoverthirtyyearsandpraythatI’mnotlookingintothefuture.Thatthoughtisfucking
frightening.

“Therisk,”Isayafterthinkingaboutitalittlelonger.
Momlaughs.Herwholefacelightsup,andIrealizehowmuchI’vemissedher.“Andweboth

knowyou’rearisktaker.So,what’stherealreason?”

“Start-upcosts,Iguess.Iwouldn’tknowwheretobegin,anditseemslikealotofwork.WhatifI

fail?”

“Andthat’sexactlyhowdreamsdie.Fundingisn’tanissue,okay?I’vegotsomemoneyputaside

thatIwouldbehappytoloanyou.AndIknowhowmuchyousave.Tellmethis,haveyoueverfailed
atanythingthatyou’vereallywantedinlife?”

I’mnotsurehowwegotonthissubject.“Mom,Icouldnevertakeyourmoney.You’resupposed

tousethattogetaway.”

Thelaughlinesalongwiththestressthatshe’senduredovertheyearsareonherface.Mymother

ismyhero.She’sstrongerthananyoneI’veevermet,andmyheartconstantlybreaksforher.Butshe
won’tleave.AsmuchasIbeg,shewon’t.I’veofferedtopayforanapartmentforher.I’vetried
everythingovertheyears.Butshe’sjustasstubbornasIam.Noticingmyreactionandsadness,she
givesmeasweetsmile.

“Everythingisokay.Sinceyourdad’sbeensick,thingshavechanged.”
Itakeadrinkofwater.He’sbeensickforawhilenow.Lotsoftestingtotrytofigureoutwhatthe

issueis,butIdon’twanttotalkabouthim,andsheknowsthat.

“He’snotdoingwell,honey.Lastweek,wereceivedhistestresults.Hehasaprettyaggressive

formofcancer.”Hervoicedropslow,almosttoawhisper.

It’sthefirsttimeI’veheardthis,andforamomentitcatchesmeoffguard.Cancer?Idon’teven

havethewordstoexplainhowthismakesmefeel.Thisiswhyshewantedtohavelunchbecausea
conversationlikethisisn’toneyouhaveoverthephone.Allthepiecesofthepuzzlebegintofit
together.

“Idon’tcare.”IknowI’mbeingharshandstubborn.
Knowingbetter,shegivesmealook.Thoughhe’snotmyfavoritepersonintheworld,Iwould

neverwishcanceronhim.

“You’remorecompassionatethanthat.Andwhetheryouwanttoadmititornot,yourfatherisa

partofyou.Whenhe’sgone,Idon’twantyoutoregretnotseeinghim.”

“Ilefthomeforareason.”Mybodytensesandmyresponsesareshort.Ijustwanttochangethe

subjectwhileIprocessitall.

“Iknow,Iknow.I’msorry.I’mjustworriedaboutyouandhim,andit’salotforme.Idon’twant

youtoregretanythinginyourlife.There’salotofthingsIwishIwouldhavedonedifferentlyand
didn’t.Idon’twantthesameforyou.Don’tallowyourinternalangertostopyoufromseeingyour
fatherwhilehe’sstillalive.Ifanymanonthisearthhasregrets,it’shim.Heknowswhathe’sdone.”A
singletearstreamsdownhercheek.Shewipesitwithhernapkinthenrecomposesherself.Mymother
ispracticallyunbreakable.

Igrabherhandacrossthetable.“Mom.”

Shelooksupatme,andIsqueezeherhandjustalittleharder.“I’msorry.I’malwaysherefor

you.”

“You’remyrock,Travis.Alwayssostrongandbrave.Iloveyou.”
“Iloveyoutoo,mom.”
Weleavetherestaurantandlistentooldiesontheradioonthewaybacktothehouse.Myphone

dingsandIsmilewhenIseeViola’sname.

V:Pleasesaveme.DrewissingingBritneySpears.Thisisthelongest,mosttorturousride

homeever.

IsmileasItypeoutaresponse.

T:Well,I’maSLAVEFORYOU,baby,eventhoughyou’reTOXIC,IwasBORNTOMAKE
YOUHAPPY.

V:YOUDRIVEMECRAZY!

T:I’MNOTAGIRL,NOTYETAWOMAN!

V:Thatactuallymakesalotmoresensenow.

T:Don’tgetcocky.

IchuckleatourBritneySpearsreferencesandglancebackupwhenMompullsintothedriveway,

andIreachoverandgiveherahug.

“TellDrewandViolaIsaidhello.”
“Iwill.”
“Takecareofthatgirl,Travis.”
“Huh?”I’mconfused.
“Viola.Iknowyoutwoareseeingeachother.”
Igiveheralook.There’snowayshecouldknowthis.Orcouldshe?
“Mother'sintuition.Mothersalwaysknow.”
Ismile,notdenyingit,andgetoutofthecar.Istandinthedrivewaywithmyarmsacrossmy

chest,andasshebacksoutofthedriveway,Iwave.Momthinksshe’ssly,butsomeonesheknows
musthaveseenustogetherwhenwehadlunch.Itrytothinkbacktothatmoment,butallIcan
rememberisViola’sface.

Iplopdownonthecouch,tryingtofocus.Myfatherhascancer.It’salottotakein,andso

unexpected.GuiltsweepsovermeforreactingthewayIdid,andItrynottogetwrappedupinthe
thoughtofit.Nextweek,I’llcallMomandaskmorequestions.I’llbethereforher.Ihaveto.

Oncetheafternoonlagkicksin,Imakesomecoffeeandsitonthecouchandmindlesslyflip

throughchannels.Ileanbackandpropupmyfeet.BeforeIfallasleep,myphonevibratesinmy
pocket.Ipullitoutandswipeitopen.

It’satextmessagefrom...Mia.
M:Travis?Isthisstillyournumber?
I’mhalftemptednottoreplyorsayno.ButasimpleconfirmationfromDrewwouldruinthat.
T:What’sup?
I’mnotinterestedinwhatshehastosay,andI’malittlepissedthatshehastheaudacitytotextme.
M:Pleasedon’ttellDrewwhathappened.
Ireadthetextoverandoveragainanddon’trealizeI’mclenchingmyjawuntilIhearmyteeth

grindingagainsteachother.

T:Nothinghappened.
M:Good.I’mgladwe’reonthesamepagethen.
Hertextcatchesmeoffguard.Samepage?No,we’refuckingnot.We’renotevenreadingoutof

thesamebook.

T:Whatareyouplayingat?Thisisn’tafuckinggame,Mia.
Sheinstantlytextsback.
M:;)
I’mhalf-temptedtothrowmyphoneacrosstheroom,buttheonlypersonthatwouldaffectisme.

Myangerisseepingout,justlikemyfather ’shadsomanytimesovertheyears.Control.Ineedto
findit—fast.

InsteadoftextingherbackandsayingexactlywhatIthinkabouther,Itakethehigherroadand

ignoreit.She’sbeingabitch.She’sactingout.AndassoonasIfindtherighttimetospeaktoDrew,
I’mgoingtotellhimexactlywhathappenedthenightoftheaccident,whetherhewantstohearitor
not,becausehedeservestoknow.

VIOLA

TherewasnolegitreasonforDrewandmetovisitMomthisweekend.Shejustwantedtoseeher

kidsandmentionedthepossibilityofmovingclosertothebeach.Therewasnoemergency,nodeath,
nowedding,orbirthannouncement.ItwasMombeingquirky,likealways.IswearifPhoebeon
Friendswereanactualperson,shewouldbemymother.Onthewayover,DrewandImadeupso
manydifferentscenariosthatwebegantakingbetsonwhyweweresummoned.Needlesstosay,Iwon
tendollarsthatIwillgladlybecashingin.

Sundaymorning,Ilaidinbedforalongtimebeforegoingintothelivingroom.Icouldhear

LarryandDrewtalkingaboutfootball,andI’drathernot.AssoonasIwoke,it’slikeTravisknewand
textedme.

T:Ineedyoutohurryhome.
V:Gotanitchthatneedsscratching?Ilaugh,thinkingaboutwherewewereandwherewe’reat

now.

T:Somethinglikethat.Andweneedtotalk.
Idon’ttypeforawhile.Whatdoesthatmean,exactly?
V:Well,mister,thatsoundsprettyserious.
T:Bytalk,Imean,ballsdeepinsideyou.
Ilaugh.
V:Welldon’tholdbackATALL.
T:Didyouexpectanythingless?;)
V:Actually,no.
EverydayI’mawake,IfeellikeI’mlivingadream.AtbreakfastonSunday,Icouldn’tstop

smiling.

“Iloveseeingmychildrensohappy,”Mommentionsafterweeat.Oncewehelpcleanup,she

hugsusbothgoodbye.“Youbothmustbeinlove,”shejokes.

Mycheeksgopink,andIhurrytograbmybagbeforeshenotices,butI’mnotquickenough.I

makeeyecontactwithher,andmydeepest,darkestsecretsarewrittenacrossmyface.Sheglances
overatDrew,thenbackatme,beforehersmilewidens.Beingthemanheis,he’scompletely
oblivioustothefactthatMomjustcalledmeout.

“Letthemleave,”Larrysayswithabigsmile.Heremindsmeofabiglumberjack,especially

whenhewearsthoseplaidbutton-upshirts—hiseverydaywardrobe.Evenheknowsthatifwedon’t
rushoutthedoorrightatthismoment,she’llkeepusuntilafterlunch.That’showsheis;wehaveto
escapewhilewecan.

“Fine,”shesays,pattinghimonhisstomachashewrapshisarmaroundher.
“Iloveyoutwo.Becareful.TellTravisIsaidhello,”MomsaystoDrew.Idon’tdarelookather,

atthementionofhisname.

“I’lltellhim.”Drewswingshisbagoverhisshoulder,andwewalkouttothetruck.
“Mom’sbeingweird,too,”hesays.“What’swithyougirlsthesedays?”
Sheknows.Fuck.Sheknowstoomuch.
“Ididn’tthinkshewasbeingweird.”Ithrowmybaginthebackseatofhistruck.It’ssotallthatI

struggletoclimbinside.ThisiswhyIwantedtotakemycar.

“Allthistalkaboutlove.Itkindofmakesmesick.Oh,andthewayshekissesLarry.Oh,myGod!

AtleastwhenIvisitDad,Idon’thavetowatchhimbewithsomeoneelse.”

Drewisrambling,andI’mokaywithit.Ifeelkindofguiltythatwedidn’tvisitDadwhilewewere

home,butDrewhastogointoworktoday,andweneedtogetback.

HalfwaythroughthemiddleofDrew’sridiculousplaylist,atextringsout,andit’sCourtney.
C:WHEREAREYOU?SERIOUSLY!
IleanagainstthedoorandsnapapictureofDrewdriving.He’swearingabaseballcapandashirt

that’stoosmall,whichIteasedhimaboutthismorning.Histattooedbicepsarebustingoutfrom
underthesleeve.She’sgoingtolikethistoomuch.

OH
MY
FUCKING
GOD
OVARIES
EXPLODING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ican’tstoplaughing.Iinterrupthimashecontinuestalkingaboutwork.
“Hey.CanyousayhitoCourtneyrealquick?”
Ihurryandpressrecordonmyphonetocapturethewholething.Atfirst,Drewactsallshyand

givesaslylittlesmile,butIknowbetter.He’sworkingthecamerarightnow.

“Hey,Courtney.”Hewinksattheend.
IturnthecameraonmyselfandgivehertheevileyebeforeIstoprecordingandsenditover.

“Shemightactuallydie.”

“Why?”Heglancesoveratmecompletelyconfused.Hereallyhasnoideatheaffecthehason

women,especiallyher.

“Noreason.Shementionedsomethingaboutyouandhandcuffs,andwellit’sgrossandkindof

makesmesick.”

Heburstsoutlaughing.“Thecopfantasy?Really?”
“Oh,you’reawareofitthen?”Isay,waitingformyphonetodetonatewithtextsfromher.
“Don’tallwomendreamaboutthat?”
“No.Definitelynot.Gross.Ithinkyouruinedthatoneforme.”

C:Canyouhavehimtakehisshirtofftoo?

Iscoff.DrewlooksoveratmeasItypeamessagebacktoherquick.

V:OMG!Giveyouaninchandthenyouwantmybrothernaked.

C:IwishIhadaninchofhim.Andhey,youstartedit!!Givehimmyaddress.I’llgethimoutof
yourhair.

V:YOU’RERIDICULOUS!

“So,whatdidshesay?”Drewasks,andIthinkhegenuinelywantstoknow.
“TrustmewhenIsayyou’rebetteroffnotknowing.”Ileaveitatthat.Becauseew.
“Comeon;Iwanttoknow.”
Ishakemyhead,andhereachesovertograbmyphone.IgointoapanicashereadsCourtney’s

textmessagethatisthankfullystillonthescreenandIripitoutofhishand.Notetoself:Alwayslock
cellphone.

“Holyshit!Yourfriend’safreak!”
“Whowillseriouslymurdermeifsheeverfindsoutyoureadthat.”
Oncue,Igetanothertextmessage,andit’sfromTravis.Iopenitupandseeapictureofadick.

Hisdick.Hard.Longing.Waiting.Thewordsonthebottomsay‘ForMary-KateandAshley.'

Iinstantlyblushandfumbletopasswordprotectmyphone,notevenabletoreplybacktohim.

Courtney’stextmessagesgoofflikecrazy,andIsittherefrozen,tryingtoignorethemboth.Travisis
adeadmanthenexttimeIseehim.Butit’sDrew’swordsthatpullmebacktoreality.

“Haveyouseenawomanatthehousebyanychance?”
MyfacescrunchesandItrytoprocessthisoddquestion.“What?”
“IjusthavethissuspicionthatTravisisseeingsomeone.Wonderingifyou’veseenheraround

betweenclasses.”

Myheartishammering,andmythroatgoesdry.“Nope.”
“Hmm,”hesays,notpayingattentiontomyanxiety.Thankfully.
“I’mgoingtofindoutwhoitis.”Drewtakestheexittowardthecampus.Hehasthatdetectivelook

onhisfacewhilehelooksouttowardtheroad.It’sscaringtheshitoutofme.

“Probablysomecum-drunkslut,”Iadd.
“No.No.Thisseemsdifferent.Ican’tputmyfingeronityet.Shit,whatwasthatgirl’snamethat

hereallyliked?”

“Ihavenoclue,”Isay,utterlyunamused.Iwishtheconversationwouldend.Overtheyears,there

wereprobablytonsofgirlsheliked.AndIdon’twanttotalkaboutit.

“Yeah,theonehejokedaboutmarryingbeforeshecheatedonhim.Doyourememberher?It’sthe

onlyonethatlastedmorethanafewdays.”

Silence.
“Hejustseemshappy,likehewaswhenhewaswithherbeforeshebecamearagingbitch.Butthat

wasyearsago.It’sgoingtobothermeuntilIthinkofhername.”

Mycheeksheat,butIcontinuestaringoutthewindow.Idon’tknowthisstory,andwhileIwantto

askquestions,Idon’twantittoseemoutofplace.ItmusthavebeenbeforeImovedcloserorstarted
hangingaroundthemagain.BecauseIhavenorecollectionofthisstory.Insteadofgettingtiedupin
it,IsnapintomyTravis-King-is-an-assholemodeandallowthewordstoflowout.

“It’sprobablythepainmedsthataremakinghimseemsohappy.Andhonestly,Idon’tgivetwo

shitsaboutTravisKing,okay?”Itkindofhurtstosaythat.I’vesaidthosewordssomanytimesover
theyears,anditseemednatural,butrightnowitseemsawkwardandforeign.

“Allright.JesusChrist.Youdon’thavetobitemyheadoff.Sorryforbringingitup.”

Bythetimewepulluptomydorm,mymindisrunningsofastthatI’matalossforwords.I

didn’tknowTravisevenjokedaboutmarriagewithsomeoneorthatitwasthatserious.Orthathe,of
allpeople,hadbeencheatedon.Ithoughthisrelationshipswerejustwham-bam-thank-you-ma’am
one-nightstands,butmaybemyperceptionovertheyearswasdistortedbyjealousy.

“Drew.”Iturntohimbeforeopeningthedoor.
“Yes?”
Iknowhe’sinarush,butIhavetotellhimaboutBostontoday.“I...”
“Vi,I’minahurry.Ican’tbelatetothestation.”
“IwasofferedaninternshipinBostonatUnionInternational.”
Hisfacelightsup,andIcantellhe’sexcitedforme.“Viola!That’samazing!I’msohappyfor

you,sis.”Heleansoverandgivesmeabighug.“Sowhenareyouleavingandallofthat?”

“Ihavetoacceptitfirst,buttwoweeksaftergraduation.”
“Youhavetoacceptit.There’snoquestionaboutit.Andthat’sSOON.DoesMomknow?”
Ishakemyhead.“You’retheonlypersonI’vetoldsofar.”
“I’mproudofyou.Nowgetout,BillGates.I’vegotacitytosave.”
“IsthiswhereIcueintheSupermanmusic?”Igrabmybagfromthebackandhopdown.

“Thanks,Drew.”

“Bye,Vi.I’mhappyforyou.Congratulations.”
SometimesDrewcanbeadouche,buttoknowthathe’ssupportiveofthismakesitalittleeasier

tohandle.I’vebeengoingbackandforthwithitforthepastforty-eighthours,andIhavetotell
Travis.Ilookupatthedarkcloudsrollingoverthehorizon,andIpraythatI’mnotmakingoneofthe
biggestmistakesofmylife.

CHAPTERTEN

TRAVIS

Drewcomeshome,changesintohisuniform,andisoutthedoorinalloftenminutes.Thedudeis
likefuckingBatman.Oneminutehe’sinregularclothes,thenexthehasagunstrappedtohisside,
readytofightcrime.

Justlikeclockwork,Violatextsme.
V:YouknowwhatIcouldgoforrightaboutnow?
T:ApieceofKingcake?
V:Ha!Somecoffee.Wanttojoinme?
T:Didyoureallyhavetoask?
I’msmiling,whichseemstohappenalotwhenI’mthinkingabout,talkingto,oraroundher.
V:I’llbetherein5.
Ontime,Violapullsintothedrivewaybutdoesn’tgetout.Instead,shehonks.Ican’thelpbut

laughatthepathetichornonthePrius.It’slikeacartooncarwithacutelittlemeep-meepsound.

“YouneedaMustangorsomething.Onethatroarswhenyouhonk.”
ShegaspsandrubsthesteeringwheelwhileIbuckle.“Don’tlistentohim,Tatum.He’sjust

jealousbecauseyou’vegottheMagicMikemovesandhedoesn’t.”

“MagicMike?Ha.I’vegottheTravisKingmoves,whichtrumpsanyofthatlameshit.”
SheblushesasIrunmyhandupmyshirt,revealingmystomach.Oncesheglancesdown,Iliftan

eyebrowandlaugh.“You’retooeasy,princess.”

“Ugh.Whydoyoukeepdoingthat?”
Whileshedrives,Iplacemyhandonherthigh.“So,Ihadlunchwithmymotheryesterday.”
“Really?That’sgreat.”Shegrabsmyhand.
“Shetoldmemyfatherhascancer.”
Onceshepullsintotheparkinglotandputsitinpark,sheturnsherwholebodyandsearchesmy

face,tryingtoreadme.“Areyouokay?”

SinceIheardthenews,I’vebeenstuckinlimboaboutit.I’mnotsureifI’msadornot,andit’sa

strangefeeling.Ican’treallyexplainit.“I’mokay.”

Violaleansoverandgivesmeahug.Withherarmswrappedaroundmyneck,Icanfeelthelove

pouringoutofher.“I’msorry,”shewhispers.

“It’sgoingtobeokay.Sohow‘boutthatcoffee?Theyhaveventimochagrandechocolateshit

here?”

“It’saventiwhitechocolatemochawithanextrashot,occasionallymadewithsoy.Andifwego

intherespoutingoffthatlingo,theymaykickusoutandbanusforlife.Theyareprettymuchanti-
establishment.”Sheliftsbotheyebrowsandpuckersherlipswithahardheadnod.

“I’lltakeyourwordforit.”
BeforeIopenmydoor,sheglancesoveratme.“Doyouwanttojustgetittogo?”
“Embarrassedtobeoutwithme,princess?”I’mfuckingwithher,andshenotices.
“IwanttobealonewithyouwhileIcan.”

Dammit,she’ssobeautiful.Idon’tevenarguewithheraboutit.
“OnlyifIcandrive.”Ishootherawink,andshedoesn’tprotest.I’mnotsureifIshouldbe

driving,butsinceI’mnotonanypainmedication,Idon’tseeanissuewithit.IknowIhaven’tbeen
clearedyet,butwhenhaveIeverfollowedtherules?

Weorderourcoffees,andIdrivepastthecollege,turningdownafewsidestreetsuntilwearrive

atthislittleparkIfoundmysenioryear.Neverbeingoneforthelibrary,Iusedtocomeouthereand
study.Whensheseespeoplewalkingtheirdogsandchildrenplaying,hereyeswiden.It’sahappening
place.

“Talkaboutadiamondintherough!Thisparkisawesome.”
Wegetoutofthecar,andItakeherhandandleadheracrossthegrasstoapicnictableundera

tree.Thesunishighinthesky,butdarkcloudstumblein.Itlookslikeitcouldstartrainingatany
moment,butwecontinuetowardthelow-hangingbranches.

Isitnexttoher,withourbackspressedagainstthetabletop,andwewatchthepeopleinthepark.
“Ihavesomethingtotellyou,”Iwhisperintoherneck.Ilovethewayherskinsmellslikefresh

springflowers.

Asoftmoanescapesher.“Hmmm?”
Iopenmycontactslistandhandhermyphone.“Ideletedallthehoes.”
ViolaburstsoutlaughingandlooksatmelikeI’velostmymind.MaybeIhave.
“Why?”Shegasps.
“Becauseyou’retheonlyhoeIwant.”Ireachoverandtickleher.
“I’mnotahoe.”Sheswatsatme,fightingbackherlaughter.Shetriestoticklemebackbutsucks

atit.

“You’remyhoe.”Iinterlockmyfingerswithhersassheleansoverandkissesme.
“You’resodamnromantic.”
“Itry.”IsmilebeforeItakeasipofmycoffee.
“Oh,Ioweyouanasskickingforthatpicture.”Shenarrowshereyesatme.“Drewalmostsawit,

idiot!”

“Shit.I’llallowyoutospankmeifyouwant,”Iquip.
Sheglaresatme.“He’sontous.Likeforrealontous.HeaskedmeifIhadseenagirlaroundthe

houseduetothewayyou’reacting.Sogetyourshittogether,King!”

“What,seriously?”NowI’mconfused.Drewhasnevercaredaboutmysexcapades.
“Yeah,hementionedyouwereactingthesamewayyoudidwhenyouweredatingsomechick,the

oneyoujokedaboutmarrying.”

Mybodystiffens,andIswallowhard.Shenoticesmyreluctanceandturnsandlooksatme,

waitingformetoexplain.

“Viola,thatwasalongtimeago,whenwefirstgotthehouse.Iwasnevergoingtomarryanyone.

Iwasnineteenandhorny,andshewasacheater.That’sridiculous.”Andthetruth.

“Goodtoknowtheonlythingthat’schangedisyourage.”Shesmirks.
Iofferashrug.
“Anyway,he’sgoingallSherlockHolmesonus.Hesaidhewouldfindoutwhoitwasandyou

knowhowhegets.I’mhopingMiaderailshim.”

Mia.Funnyhowshekeepspoppingupinconversations.
“Notgood.”Assoonasthewordsleavemymouth,aboltoflightningstrikesout.Violajumps,

nearlyspillinghercoffeeonherself,whichcausesmetolaugh.Withoutwarning,rainpeltsfromthe
skylikespeedingbulletsandithurtslikehell.Westand,leavingourcoffeesbehindandViolaruns
acrossthegrasswitheveryoneelse.

“Ihatethefuckingrain,”sheyells,ignoringthechildrenaround,tryingtocoverherbodywith

herjacket.

Ithurtstomovequickly,soinsteadofjoggingwithher,Iwalk,takingmytime.I’malreadywet,

mightaswellbesoaked.BythetimeIclimbinside,she’sshiveringeventhoughtheheaterisblowing
onhigh.Waterisdrippingfromthetipsofherhair,andwhenshelooksoveratme,ittakes
everythingIhavetoholdbacklaughter.Shereallyisarainhater.

“Whatadaytowearwhite.”Aslysmileslidesacrossmylipsbecausehershirtisliketissuepaper,

stickingtoherskin.

Violasmilesandopensthemiddleconsole.Shepullsoutanenvelopewitharedwaxsealstamped

ontheback.It’sbeenopenedalready.Beforesayinganotherword,Violaglancesdownatit,holdingit
alittletootightly.I’mnotsurewhat’sgoingonuntilshehandsittome.Iopentheenvelopeandpull
outtheletterthat’saddressedtoherinafancywriting.ThewordsseemtoleakoffthepageasIread
becauseIrealizewhatthismeans.Violaisleaving,anditcrushesme.Iglanceupatherandcantell
she’supset.Shecoversherfacetohidethetears.

“Whoa.Noneedforthat.”Iopenmyarms,andshefallsintothem.Afteramoment,shepulls

away,andIgrabhershoulders.

“Viola.Thisisahugedeal.Pleasetellmeyou’regoing.”
Shelooksupatme,hereyesfinallymeetingmine,andIcanseeasmallglimmerofrelief.

“You’reokaywiththis?”

“TrustmewhenIsayIwanttobeselfish,butthisissomethingthatyoucannotpassup.Union

International?Theychoosefivepeopleayearfortheirinternshipprogram.Thisisanopportunityof
alifetime,andifyoudon’tgo,I’llwithholdsexfromyoufortherestofyourlife.”

Shesnorts.“Asifyoucouldhandlethat.Butwhataboutus?”
Itakeherhandinmine.“We’llmakeitwork,princess.AndyouthoughtIwasbadnow?I’mgoing

tobeagreedybastardwithyouuntilyouleave.Sodryupthosetears.Iknowyou’regoingtomissthe
D,butit’sonlysixmonths.Andwecanvideochat.”Iwigglemyeyebrowsather.“PlusI’llflyupto
visitonceamonth.”

Shefinallycracksasmile.“ButwhatifI’mofferedapositionattheendofmysix-monthterm?

That’susuallywhathappens,youknow.”

SomehowIdidn’tthinkaboutthatone,butitdoesn’tmatter.“We’llcrossthatbridgewhenweget

toit.Promiseme,princess.Promisemeyouwon’tworryaboutus,andyou’lltakethatinternship.It’s
theHarvardofallopportunities.”

Ihandtheletterbacktoher,andshereturnsittotheenvelope.
“Ipromise.”
“Good.”
Leaningherheadagainsttheseat,shesighs.“Ithoughtthiswouldbeeasy.”
“What’sthat?”
“Leaving.Foryears,IwishedIcouldgetawayfromitall.Iwishedsomethinglikethiswould

happen.Andnowthatithas...”Herwordsfadeaway.

“Mymothertoldmethatnottakingrisksishowdreamsdie.Ifyouwantthis,goforit.Don’tlet

yourworries,insecurities,orfearsstopyou.I’vealreadytoldyoubefore;I’mnotgoinganywhere.I
wouldwaitalifetimeforyou,andImeanit.”

“Ifyouwanttoseeotherpeople–”
“FUCKNO!”Idon’tevenletherfinish.“Knowingyou’remine,nomatterhowfarawayis

enoughforme.I’mnotsureifyourealizethisornot,butIdon’twantanyoneelse,Viola.Iwantyou.
Onlyyou.”Ileaninandtuckwet,loosestrandsofherhairbehindherear,andkissthefuckoutofher.

Shepoursherselfintome,andIdon’twanthertoleave.Thedistancewillbehard.Butovertheyears,
I’velearnedpatience,andIwouldselflesslywaitaslongassheneeded.

ButIcan’thelpbutthinkabouthowViolahasalwaysbeenaround.I’mnotsureIknowwhatlifeis

likewithouther,asoddasthatseems.EvenwhenDrewandIfirstmovedclosertocampus,shewould
stilldriveupontheweekendsandpesterus—mainlyme—butshewashere.Knowingthatshe’s
movinginamatterofweeksdoesn’tgiveusverymuchtimetobetogether.We’llhavetomakeevery
momentcountasthetimeclockticksdown.

VIOLA

ThoughI’msadtobeleaving,I’mrelievedtohavetoldTravis.Hedeservedtoknowasmuchas

Drewdid.Buthimknowingdoesn’tmakeitanyeasier.I'mprettysureitmakesthedecisioneven
harder.Allmylife,I’vebeenstuckinthisloopoftryingtomakethebestgrades,andwhenit’sfinally
paidoff,Idon’tfeelhappyaboutit.

“Willyoucomeinside?”Travisaskswhenwepullintothedriveway.
“Doyoureallythinkthat’sagoodidea?Drewisontheprowl.”
“Fine.Let’sgosomewhereelsethen.”
I’mconfused,whichseemstobehappeningalotlately.“Uh,likewheredoyousuggest?”
“Yourdorm?”
Imakeaface.“Notquite.Therewouldbethreegirlswithcupsonthedoortryingtolisten.”
“Allrighty.I’vegotanidea.”Travispicksuphisphoneandbeginstextingsomeone.Hisphone

buzzesalot,andattheend,he’sgrinning.

“Whathaveyoudone?”Iquestion,warily.
“Letmedrive.Mysurprise.”
“AreyousureyoucanhandleTatum?”Iopenthedoorandstepout;heslapsmybutthardbefore

heclimbsinside.

“HandleTatum?Iwilldestroyhim.”
Travisreversesoutofthedriveway,causingthewheelstosquealasheheadstowardthestopsign.

I’mprettysuremycarhasneverbeendrivenlikethat.

“Oh,myGod.Don’tdrivemycarlikeyourentedit.”
“I’mdrivingitlikeIstoleit,princess.”Hetiltshisheadatmeasheacceleratestowardthe

freeway.“Butthegoodnewsis,we’regettingfiftymilestothegallon.”

Wetalkabouteverythingandnothingallatthesametime,notoncebringingupthefactthatour

daystogetherarenumbered.AsmuchasItry,Ican’thelpbutthinkabouthowmuchI’mgoingto
missthis.Therearestillsomanyfirststobehad,andDrewdoesn’tevenknow.Atthisrate,wecould
probablyholdofftellinghimuntilafterIleave,notallowingittodisruptwhatwehavegoingon.If
it’snotbroken,maybeweshouldn’tfixit,rightnow.

Anhourpasses,andIstarttogrowsuspicious.TravistakestheexitoffHighway580andloops

underthebridge.Ilookpasthimandcanseethechoppywaterofthebay.Heslows,andthenpulls
intoanemptydrivewayandahousewithnolightson.

“Comeon,”hesays,turningoffthecarandleadingmeupthesidewalkbythehand.
Onthefront—surroundedbyseashells—istheaddress.Abigbaywindowfacesthewater,andI

canalmostimaginepeopleinsidelookingout.Theviewisbreathtaking.

“Whatarewedoing?”Ireluctantlyask.
“We’rewalking.”
“Smartass.”

Hetypesacodeintothefrontdoor,andlikemagic,itclicksopen.Theinsideisdark,andheruns

hishandagainstthewall.

“Lumos,”Isay,andassoonasIdo,thelightsflickon.“Andyouthinkspellsdon’twork,”Iscoff.
“Ineversaidthat.You’veobviouslyputoneonme.”Heleanshisshoulderagainstthewalland

watchesmemarvel.Thehouseisbeautiful.Theocean-themeddécor,pairedwiththelongwallof
books,makesitfeelcozy.

“Whosehouseisthis?”Irunmyfingeracrosssomanyclassicbooks.It’slikeI’msayinghelloto

oldfriends.

“Anoldcollegefriendwhoowesmebig-time.Hisparentsboughthimthishousewhenhe

receivedhisacceptanceletterandafullscholarship.Insteadofdealingwiththehassleofsellingwhen
hemovedtoNewYork,hejustAirbnb’sit.So...”

“Youcalledinafavor?”
Travisnods.“AndnowI’mgoingtofulfillafantasyandfuckyouagainstthatwindow.”
ThespacebetweenusvanishesandTravis’lipsarepressedhardagainstmine.
“Doyoutrustme?”heasks,flippingoffthelight,allowingthesettingsuntobleedin.
“Itrustyouwithmyheart.”
Hesmilesagainstmylips,runninghishandupmyshirt,palmingmybreast.“Good.”
Achillrunsdownmyspineasheundressesme.Thoughhishandsarecareful,hismouthis

dangerous,needy.Meetinghisintensity,Iundresshim,untilwearebothstandingnakedinfrontofthe
largebaywindow.Thestreetisquiet,andwhenIturntolookoutside,theburntsunsetsoverthe
horizon.Travismovesmyhairfrommyshoulderandbitesdown,causingamixtureofpainand
pleasuretosoarthroughme.Withhiserectionagainstmyass,hemovesmeforwarduntilmybreasts
arepushedagainstthecoldglassbeforeheslidesin.Justthethoughtofsomeonebeingabletoseeus
makesmewanttolosecontrol,andhemakesittooeasy.

Travisgivesabsolutelynofucks,andtakesmehardandrough,justlikeIwant.Hetugsatmyhair

andbitesalongmyneckandshoulders.Theintensityofhimisalmosttoomuchtohandle.Wearen’t
quiet.Wefuckloudandhardanddon’tgivetwoshitsiftheworldseesusasheslamsintomeagainst
thewindow.

Ibegformore.
Ibegforitharder.
Andhe’srelentless,one-uppingmyrequests,andIwanthimto.
ThekingisusinghisroyalcockinwaysI’veneverexperienced.AndIloveit.
TheeuphoriaofhimissomuchIalmostforgetmyownname,andI’veresortedtogibberish.I’m

prettysureTravisistryingtobreakmeorleavehisimprint,buthealreadyhas.Iwon’tbeforgetting
thisanytimesoon.

Heflipsmearound,grabbingmynipplebetweenhisteethasheslamshiscockinme.Ileanmy

headagainstthecoolglass,andIhavenoideahowhe’sdoingthiswithbrokenribs,butIdon’teven
questionhim.He’sintotalcontroltonight.It’sasifhe’sfuckingawayallofhisemotionsaboutme
leavingandI’mhappyfortherelease.I’mhappytoforgetaboutitallandbelostinnothingbutthe
moment,foronce.Mybodyisaslavetohim,andIridetheorgasmicwavesoverandoveragain,
onlytobeselfishandwantevenmore.Mysexualappetitematcheshis,andI’mproudofthat.

“You’readirtygirl,V.”Hesmirksandspinsmearound,slappingmyassbeforehecontinues.He

doesn’tevenrubitlikethebookboyfriendsinmyromancenovels.Butoddlyenough,itturnsmeon
evenmore.“Don’tevensayit,”hewarns.“Vofficiallystandsforvixen.”Hewrapsmymessyhair
aroundhisfistandforcesmetolookintohiseyes.“MyV.Myvixen.”

“I’llalwaysbeyours,Travis.”Thewordsfalloutofmymouth,andmywarmbreathcreatesafog

againsttheglass.

“Princess,whenyousaythingslikethat...”Hegroansinmyear,andtheemotionsthatswirl

throughmeareindescribable.Ifeelhimtensebehindme,andIpushharderagainsthimuntilheloses
himself.Warmthfillsme,andheleanshisheadagainstmyshoulder.Westaylikethatforalong
moment,takingeachotherin,deeppantsandheavybreaths.

Travistakesastepbackwithmeinhisarmsandglancespastmeatthewindow.Herubshishand

acrossthestubblethatgraceshisperfectjawline.Iturnandseemybreastsandassimprintedonthe
glassandcan’tstopthelaughter,butI’mnotembarrassed.Hellno,I’mproudbecausesomehow
Travishasbrokenmysexualshellintopieces.

“Thehousekeeperwillhavefunwiththatone.”Hissmileisperfect,andIcan’thelpbutadmirehis

absandhowlowhisjeanssitonhishipswhenhezipsthem.Ifollowhishappytrailallthewaydown
tothelingeringhard-on.Swallowinghard,Itakeamentalsnapshotofthisexactmoment,notever
wantingtoforgetit.

Afteramoment,Travissitsonthecouchandstretchesouthislegs.Nowordsarespokenbetween

usandIsnuggleinnexttohimafterputtingonmybraandpanties,complimentsofCourtneyand
Victoria’sSecret.Withournakedskinpressedtogether,hewrapshisarmsaroundmeandIfocuson
hisheartbeatandthesoundofhisbreathing.

Theclockonthewallletsoutaloudgongonthehour,scaringtheshitoutofme.Travisholdsme

alittletighterandletsoutaloudbarkoflaughter.Iglareathim,thenattheclock,knowingthatit’s
ourcuetogo.Sayinggoodbyeisgoingtobecomeharderwitheachpassingday,butItrytopushthe
naggingthoughttothebackofmymind.

“Idon’twanttogo.”Ipout.
“Let’sstay.I’vegotthehouseuntiltheweekend.”
Myeyeswiden.“Seriously?Thatmusthavebeenahelluvathingyoudidforthisguy.”
“Hebasicallyowesmehisfirstborn.”Hegivesmeacutelittlesidegrin.
Myeyeswiden,andI’mintrigued.“Iwanttohearmoreofthisstory.”
“Hehelpedmewithfinals,andIhelpedhimsnagthegirl.Shefellinlovewithhiscomputer

programmingassandtherestishistory.”

Iburstoutintolaughter.“Oh,myGod.”
“Itwasbetterthanpayingfortutoring.”
Ismackhimonthechest,andhepullsmecloser.“Youaresowrongforthat.”
“Sowhatchasayprincess,amIhavingyouforbreakfast?”Travisasks,withaneyebrowtiltedup.
Ineedtobestudying,butIamaheadatthemoment...
Fuckit!
Momentslikethiswillbefewandfarbetween,andIdon’twanttotakeanotheroneforgranted.I

nodbeforekissinghim.

“Bonappétite,”Iwhisperacrosshislips.
Somehowwefallasleeponthecouch,andhourslaterTravisispattingmyarmformetomove.

Hegrabsmyhandandleadsmetothemasterbedroom.Ifoldtheblanketsdownfromtheking-sized
bed,andweclimbunderthesheets.It’sthefirsttimewe’vesleptinthesamebedtogetherwithouta
careintheworld.Irollover,andTravisholdsmetight,asifI’mwaterthatwillslipbetweenhis
fingers.Butthatwon’thappenbecausenothinginmylifehaseverfeltsoright.

NotcaringaboutschoolorBostonoranything,Ifallasleepwithasmileonmyface.

CHAPTERELEVEN

TRAVIS

It’sbeenthreeweekssinceIsnuckViolauptothehouseonthebay,andeventhoughwefindevery
chancetobetogether,itwasoneofthosemomentsI’llneverforget.

Ihatethatwe’rekeepingitasecretfromDrew,butapartofmeworriesthingswillchange

betweenusonceheknows.There’snosayinghowhe’llreactforsure,butIcan’timagineit’llbe
good.

However,nowthatIhavearentalcarandI’vereturnedtowork,it’salittleeasiertoavoidDrew

andmeetupwithViolaonnightshe’shome.ShestillcomesoveronWednesdays,andIstillfindways
totasteherwhenhe’snotlooking.

MyphonedingswithanincomingtextmessageasIwalkintowork,andIsmileasIreadViola’s

nameacrossthescreen.

V:Myfinancialmarketingprofessorjustannouncedanadditionalextra-creditprojecttobe
addedtoourfinals!OMG,he’stryingtokillmebecauseI’masuckerforextracredit!!!!!!!!!

T:Butmarketingisyourthing,babe!You’vegotthis!

Ianswerhertext,tryingtoencourageherandbrightenuphermood.She’sbeenanabsolutemess

thelastcoupleweeksasgraduationapproaches.Iknowshe’sagenius,acingallherclasses,andis
alreadyashoo-infortheapprenticeshipthissummer,butIknowfreak-outmodeisinevitableuntil
shewalksacrossthatstagetowardherdiploma.

V:Sincewhendidyoutradeinyoursuitandtieforapairofpom-poms?

Ismileathersmartassresponse—exhausted,stressed,andstillabletorunherfilthymouth.

T:I’llrole-playforyouanyday,princess.Aslongasyou’retheonewiththepom-poms...andonly
thepom-poms.

AssoonasIwalkintomyoffice,shesendsanothermessage.
V:Cheerleaderfantasy?Really?
T:Doesthatreallysurpriseyou?Isetmybriefcasedownandsitbehindmydesk.I’veonlybeen

backaweek,andIalreadyhaveahugeproject.AlyssahasbeengluedtoBlake,sothat’sarelief.

V:Actually,no.Justknowthatmyfantasyconsistsofcloaks,wands,andnerdyglasses.Oh,and
youmustspeakinanEnglishaccent.

T:Hmm,that’sverydescriptive...likeyou’vebeenthinkingonthatforawhile...

V:APotterheadnevertells...

T:I’msureIcouldpersuadeyou.Youaren’ttheonlyonewhocancastspells.JustwaituntilI
Slytherin;)

Iturnmycomputeronandstartscrollingthroughmyemails.Imissthedaysofbeinghomewith

Violaandjustbeingabletolaylowwithher,especiallynowknowingshe’llbeleavinginamonth.I
haven’tallowedmyselftothinkaboutittoomuch,consideringIwanttomakethemostofthetime
thatwehaveleftbeforethen,butIknowI’mgoingtobecompletelylostwithouther.

V:Showmewhatyou’vegot,wizardboy!P.S.Goodluckonyourpresentationtoday!Ipacked
anextrainvisibilitycloakinyourbagjustincase,butIdoubtyou’llevenneedit!Killit!

T:Nowwho’ssportingthepom-poms?;)

V:Imean...don’tfuckitup,muggle.

AknockatthedoordirectsmyattentionuptoBlakewhoisstandinginmydoorway.He’sbeen

prettyedgysincemyreturn,andIhaveafeelinghelikedmyabsence.

“It’stime.”Henodshisheadtothehallway.“Everyone’smeetingintheconferenceroominfive.”
“Rightbehindyou,”Isay,grabbingafilefolderwithmynotesandpaperworkanddouble-

checkingthatIhaveeverything.

Standingup,Ilookaroundattheonce-promisingofficethathasnowturnedcold.Myheartisno

longerhere,andthethoughtofstartingmyfirmbecomesmoreappealingeachday.Iusedtoliveand
breathethisjob,buteversinceViola,she’sbeentheonetobreathelifebackintome.

Ifuckingrockmypresentation,andoncethemeetingisover,Blakewalksbacktomyofficeandasks
metogotoalunchmeetingwithhim.I’mhesitant,consideringourhistory,buthesoldmeonthe
companypickingupthetab,sowhynot?

Alyssawatchesusbothintentlyaswemakeourwayout.She’sbarelysaidmorethanasentenceto

me,soIknowsomething’sup.Ijustcan’tquiteputmyfingeronit.

ItextViolabeforeheadingout.

T:You’llbehappytoknowIkickedassandamnowheadingoutforaworklunchmeeting.I
expectacelebrationtonight...intheformofyournakedbodyontopofminewhileyouyellhow
muchharderyouwantit.

IslideintothecompanycarwithBlake;hetakesthedriver ’sside,andIsitinthepassengerseat.

Hebucklesup,andIcheckmyphoneonceagainforherresponse,butsofarnothing.Iknowshe’s
swampedrightnow,soIshrugitoff.Talkingwithheralwaysmakesmydaysgobyfaster.

“So,Ibetyou’regladtobebackfinally.Ihearbedrestcansuckforaking.”Blake’sattemptat

smalltalkislaughable,butIgoalongwithitanyway.

“Yeah,itdid.Goodthingmyroommate’slittlesisterwasaroundtohelpmesome.”Thewords

flowoutbeforeIcanstopthem.

“Violet,right?”
“Viola,”Icorrect.“Shelivesoncampusnearby,soshewasn’ttoofarifIneededanything.”
“Howconvenient.”Inoticehiscondescendingtoneandpinchmylipstoforcebackasmugsmile.

Itwasveryfuckingconvenient,butofcourse,Iwon’tsaythattohim.Thelessheknowsaboutmy

personallife,thebetter.

Oncetheawkwardlunchfromhellisover,andBlakenot-so-subtlythreatensmypositionatthefirm,I
makealittledetourbeforeheadinghome.Sinceit’sWednesday,Violawillbeovertonight,andI’m
goingtohavetouseallthewillpowerIdon’thavetokeepmyeyesandhandsoffher.

KnowingthatViolaleavesforBostoninjustamonth,Iwanttogiveheragoing-awaygiftthat

willensureshecomesbacktome.Iknowthat’sselfishonmypart,butI’vebeenwaitingtenyearsfor
thegirlofmydreams,andI’lldowhateverittakestomakesureIdon’tloseheragain.

I’vebeenthinkingaboutitthelastcoupleofweeks,andIfoundjusttherightoneforher.
Afterpickingupthegift,Iarrivebackhome,fortunatelybeforeDrew,sohedoesn’tquestionme.

V:I’mheadingoversoon.Isthecoastclear?

IreadViola’stextandimmediatelysendoneback.Ican’twaittoseeher.

T:Yes.Getyourassoverhere.Ihaveasurprise.
V:Whatkindofasurprise?ShouldIbringmywand?

Ismileatherresponse.

T:I’llbetheonewiththewand,princess;)
V:Let’shopeyouknowhowtousethatthingbeforeyoubreakit:)

Ishakemyheadatherresponse,lovingherfilthymouth.

T:Wasthatreallynecessary?Lowblow,princess.
V:Sorry,King.Sometimesyouhavetopaythepriceofbeingasmartass.

Isetmyphonedownandgethergiftready,sosheseesitwhenshefirstwalksin.Iknowshe’s

goingtolosehermind.

HearingViola’scarpullintothedriveway,Iimmediatelygreetheratthedoor.Shesmiles,andI

pressmylipstohersbeforesheevenhasachancetospeak.

“Well,hi,”shesays,gaspingforair.
“Hi.”Ismileinreturn.“Ihavesomethingwaitingforyou.”
Ileadherintothehouseanddownthehallwaytomybedroom.“Areyouready?”
“Nothing’sgoingtopopoutatme,isit?”Shepullsbackslightly,andIwrapahandaroundher

neckandpullherlipstomineagain.

“No,unlessyou’reintothatkindofthing.”Iwinkather,andsheholdsbackasmile.
“Youhavenoshame.”Shechucklesagainstmymouth.
IsoftlykissherlipsoncemoreandpullbackslightlyasIopenmybedroomdoor.
Steppingoutofherwaysoshecanwalkin,sheimmediatelygaspsandrunstothebed,wherean

eight-week-oldpuppyiswigglingwithexcitement,anxiouslywaitingforhertopickhimup.

“Oh,myGod!”shescreams—herexcitementaddictingasIfollowbehindher.“Yougotapuppy?”

Shepickshimupandholdshimclosetoherchest.“He’ssosweet!”Sherubshisfuragainsther
cheek.

Iwrapanarmaroundherwaistandpullherintome.“Igotyouapuppy.”

Hereyeswidenasshelooksupatme.“What?Why?Imean,Ican’thaveapuppyinthedorms.

WhataboutwhenIleave?”Herbottomliptrembles,andIcantellshe’snotgettingmywholepoint.

“He’sgoingtoliveherewithmeuntilyoucomeback.”
“Heis?”
“Yes.”Ismileconfidently.“ThatwayIknowyou’llcomeback.Iknowyoucan’tresistpuppies.”
Shechuckles,rubbingthelengthofherchinalonghisface.“Sohe’scollateral?Idon’tcome

back,andyougettokeepthepuppy?”

“Idon’twanttokeepthepuppy,princess.Ijustwantyou.”
Shetiltsherheadandnarrowshereyes.“Youhaveme.Regardlessofbeinggoneforsixmonths,

I’mnotgoinganywhere.We’llstilltextandSkype,andI’llcallyoueverynight.I’llbebackbefore
weknowit.”Herwordsarereassuring,butIcan’thelpbutnoticethetoneinhervoiceisn’tascertain.

“Wellthen,thinkofhimasathankyougift.”
Sherepositionshimonherchestandsoonhiseyesareclosingasherestshisheadonher

shoulder.

“Athankyougiftforwhat?”
Ibrushmyfingersthroughherhairandlookherintheeyes.“Fortakingcareofmeandmaking

sureIwasfedandproperlycleaned.”

“Oh,yes.Thoseshowerswereaterribleinconvenienceforme.”Shesmilesandpresseslittle

kissestothepuppy’scheeks.

“Sowhatdoyouwanttonamehim?”
Wesitdownontheedgeofthebedandtakeagoodlookathim.Hehasfluffygoldenfurand

dark,beadyeyes.

“HelookslikeaGryffindortome.Gryffforshort.”
Ithrowmyheadbackandlaugh.Ofcourse,she’dgivehimaHarryPottername.Irubmyhand

alonghisbackasherestspeacefullyonViola’slap.“Sorry,littleguy.Wedidn’tstandachanceon
givingyouamoremanlyname,butI’llbesureallthesingleladiesknowyou’remachoandbadass.”

Violachucklesandrestsherheadagainstmyshoulder.“NowI’mgoingtohavetosaygoodbyeto

twospecialmeninmylife.”

“Don’tworry.I’msurewe’llkeepeachothercompany.”
“You’regoingtohavetofeedhimwhileI’mgone.Andtakehimforwalks.Andgivehimbaths.

He’llprobablywanttosleepwithyou,too.Theyusuallymisstheirbrothersandsistersforthefirst
fewweeksafterbeingseparated.”ShecontinuestorambleuntilIfinallyinterruptandshutherup.

“Viola!”Ishout.“IthinkIcanhandleaharmlesslittlepuppy.”
Shetiltsherfaceup,uncertaintywrittenalloverit.“WhatareyougoingtotellDrew?”
“Don’tworryaboutDrew.I’lltakecareofit.”
Welieonthebed,pettingandplayingwithGryff.Hechewsonourfingers,mycomforter,and

evenViola’shair.Thewayherfacelightsupwhenshelooksathimmakesmesodamnhappy,andI
wishIcouldbottleupthismomentandjustkeepitthiswayforever.

IrememberViolatellingmehowmuchshewantedadog.SheaskedforoneeveryChristmas,and

likeclockwork,itnevercame.Ididn’tgrowupwithpets,exceptoneoldcatthatmymothercherished
likeababy.Inevergotcloseenoughtoittoconsideritacompanion,butViolawouldgonutsevery
timesomeonewouldwalkadogpasttheirhouse.Shetalkedaboutdogslikeshedidherbooks,andI
knewshe’dalwayswantedone.Somegirlswantapony;Viola’salwayswantedapuppy.

Eventhoughshelivesinthedorms,andshe’llbeleavingforBostonsoon,Iwantedhertohave

Gryff.Anotherreasontocomeback,evenifitendsupbeingforthewrongreasons.

VIOLA

NomatterwhatIdo,Ican’twipethestupidgrinoffmydamnfacerightnow.Gryffissmothering

meinkisses,andTravisislookingatmelikehewantstoripoffallmyclothes,whichisprobably
accurate.ThisisTravis,afterall.

“Thankyou,”IwhisperaswebothlieonthebedwithGryffsleepinginbetweenus.“It’sthe

sweetestthinganyone’severgivenme.”

“Yeah?”Heraisesabrow.“Feelfreetoshowmejusthowthankfulyouare.”
“Sorry,King.There’sanewmaninmylifenow.”Ipickupthepuppyandsethimonmychest.
“Icangiveyoupuppydogeyesandlickyourfaceifthat’swhatittakes.”Herollstomysideand

facesme.“Orifyouprefer,Icanlickyousomewhereelse,too.”

Ismileathisattempt.“Drew’sgoingtobehomesoon,andunlessyouwanthimtofindmewitha

puppyinyourbed,Ihavetogetup.”

“Well,itwouldn’tbetheweirdestthinghe’severfoundinmybed.”Heflashesasmugsmile,and

I’mtemptedtosmackthatlookrightoffhisface.

“Perhapsit’sagoodthingGryffwillbeherewhileI’mgone.Hecankeepaneyeonyou,”Isay,

climbingoffhisbed.“He’llbemylittlespy.”

“Youdon’ttrustme?”Heplacesahandoverhischestandpoutswiththosesad,patheticeyesof

his.

“Ido,it’sthehoesIdon’ttrust,”Isaymatter-of-factly.
Hesitsontheedgeofhisbedandpullsmeinbetweenthem.“Youhavenothingtoworryabout,

princess.Ipromiseyouthat.It’sjustgoingtobeGryffandme,waitinguntilthedayyoureturntous.”

Myheartpoundsinmychestasthewordssitonthetipofmytongue,butIcan’tpushthemoutjust

yet.Ilovehim.IthinkI’vealwayslovedhim,evenwhenIhatedhim,butIcan’thelpfeelingscaredto
saythosewordsaloud.I’mworriedifIdo,it’lljinxeverythingwehavegoingforussofar.

Drewwalksinthedoorthirtyminuteslaterandimmediatelycursesthesecondheseesthedogrun
towardhim.“Travis?”hecallsout,bendingdownandpickingthepuppyup.I’mwatchinghimfrom
thelivingroom,buthehasn’tyetseenme.“DidanewroommatemoveinthatI’munawareof?”

“He’smine,”Isay,bringinghisattentiontome.“Isn’thecute?”Ismile,hopinghewon’taska

millionquestionsabouthim,butIknowbetter.

“Yeah,adorable,”hedeadpans.“Why’sheinmyhouse?”
“Becauseheliveshere,”Travischimesin,stalkingfromthehallwaywithoutashirton.Dammit.

Whyisheshirtless?

“Sincewhen?”Drewasks,settinghimdownandwatchesasherunsbacktome.
“Today,”Ianswer,pickinghimup.“Travisgavehimtomeasathankyougiftfortakingsuch

goodcareofhim.Isitokaythathestayshere?”Igivehimmybestpleadinglook,andpoutoutmy
lips.

Hesighs,settinghisgeardownonthetable.“You’reokaywiththis?”Hedirectshisquestionto

Travis.“Imean,youbasicallyboughtyourselfadog,man.”Heshakeshisheadalittle,withan
amusedchuckle.

“Yeah,it’sfine.Butit’sViola’sdog.She’lltakecareofhimwhenshe’saroundandthen...”He

slipshishandsintohisfrontpocketsandshrugscarelessly.“I’lltakecareofhimuntilshe’sback.”

IwatchasDrewfurrowshisbrowsatTravis,tryingtoreadhisintentions.“Somethingweirdis

goingon.”

“Drew,c’mon.YouknowI’vewantedadogforever.”Ikeepmyeyeslockedonhis,knowinghe’ll

caveanysecond.

Heinhalesthroughhisnose,andIwatchashischestrisesandfallswithadeepsigh.“Fine,

whatever.ButI’mnotpickingupanydogpoop.Idealwithenoughshitatwork;Idon’tneedmoreof
itwhenIcomehome.”

IsmileinvictorybuthideitbehindGryff’shead.IknowTravisandIdodgedanotherbulletwith

Drew,butnowisn’ttherighttimetotellhim.

“Areyourclothesinthewash,Vi?”Drewasksfromthekitchen.“Ineedtothrowaloadin.”
“Justsetitdownbythewasher,andI’llthrowitinafterIchangemineover.”
“Okay,thanks.I’mgoingtohitthegymforacoupleofhoursthen.”
Inod,andhedisappearsintohisroomforafewmomentsbeforeheresurfacesinhisworkout

clothes.“Fuck!”

InearlyjumpfromthecouchandrundownthehallwaywhenIspotDrewstandinginfrontofa

pileofdogpoop.“Oh,no.”IpickGryffupandholdhimclosetomychest.He’sshaking.“Hedidn’t
meanto.He’sjustnervous.”

Drewwalksaroundmewithoutsayinganotherword,andIknowhe’salreadyunhappyaboutthe

puppy.Heheadsdownthehall,andIexhaleasIhearthebathroomdoorclickshut.

“I’llcleanitup,princess.Don’tworry.Drew’sbeenanemotionalmessthepastcoupleweeks.It’s

notyou.”

Itmaynotbeme,butIcanthinkofacertainsomeonewhoisprobablythecauseofallhispent-up

aggression.Mia.

OnceTraviscleansupthemessandspraysthecarpet,hecallsmetothekitchen.Ihearhim

bangingaroundpotsandpans,andIcan’thelpwonderwhatthehellhe’sgettingintonow.

“Iknowyousaidyoudidn’twantanythingofminenearyourmouth,butImakeareallykickass

pastadish.”

“Apuppyanddinner?”Iaskwithasmugsmile.“Yousureknowthewaytoagirl’sheart,don’t

you?”

Hecupsmycheekandpullsmein,soourmouthsarejustbarelytouching.“Justyours,Viola.”He

presseshislipstomineforadeep,passionatekiss.“Youwerealwaysthegirl.”

“Andyouwerealwaystheboy,TravisKing.”
Hewrapshisarmsaroundmywaistandattacksmymouthwithhistongueandlips.Itake

everythinghe’sofferingandmore.

“Let’sskipdinner,”hewhispersagainstmymouth.“I’dmuchratherhavedessertinstead.Whatdo

youthink?”

“Toomuchdessertinyourdietisn’tahealthybalance,”Isay.
“SincewhenhaveIcaredaboutahealthybalance?”
Ilaughandpressmypalmsagainsthischesttopushhimaway.“Drew’shome,”Iremindhim.“In

fact,Ishouldprobablybecursingyououtorsomethingbeforehewalksbackinhere.”

“Orwecouldjusttellhim?”Hearchesabrow.
Idropmyshouldersandfrown.“Youknowhowthatwouldworkoutifwediditrightnow?”
“Oh,c’mon.He’llgetonegoodpunchin,andthen—”
“Travis!”Iscold,andhelaughs.Asshole.
“Healwaystakeslongshowersafterwork,sowehavesometimetokill.”Hebrushesloose

strandsofhairbehindmyearandsmiles.

“Good.Thenyoucanmakethatdinner,”Isay.
Hegroans,adjustinghimself.“HowthehellamIsupposedtocookwiththisdistractingme?”

“Hmm...”Ipinchmylipstogether,pretendingtoponderit.“Howcanweremedythislittle

situation?”

Ikneeldownandstartundoinghisbelt.Icanfeelhowhardheisunderneaththefabricofhisjeans.

Istareupathim,stillshirtless,andstudythetattoosthatcoverhisarmsandchest.Iwanttolickmy
tongueallthewayuphisbodyandsuckoneverydesign,butIstayfocusedongettinghisjeans
undoneinstead—fornowanyway.

OnceIsuccessfullystriphimoutofhisjeansandboxershorts,Ipalmhiscockandbegin

stroking.Henearlystumblesatthefirsttouch,andIknowI’mtheonlyoneinchargerightnow.

“Allright,chef.Getstarted.”
“What?Rightnow?”
“Yes.”Iturnmybackagainsttheoven,andheturnstofacemesoIcansuckthetipofhim.“You

cook.I’llgetstartedondessert.”

“Fuck,Viola,”hehisseswhenIslidemytonguealonghisshaft.“Youreallywantmearoundsharp

knivesandahotstovewhenyouhavemydickinyourmouth?”

Inod,runningmytonguealongtheedgeofhistipasittwitchesfromthewarm,teasingcontact.
“YourealizeI’llendupcuttingmydamnhandofforsomething.”
“ThenIsuggestyoubeextracareful.”
“Noway.”Hemoans,leaninghishandsonthestovetopandslidinghisdickdeeperintomymouth.
Ipullhimoutandteasehimonceagain,watchingashenearlycrumblesoverme.“C’mon,King.

Youdon’twanttoplay?”

“Goddammit,Viola,”hehisses,knowingexactlywhatkindofgameI’mtalkingabout.“Fuck,

princess.Yourmouthisfuckingperfection.”

“Don’tforgettherules,”Isay,remindinghimofourlittlegame.“Youcomebeforedinner ’s

ready,youlose.”

“Soundsmorelikeawintome,”hesayssmugly,tryingtocontrolhisbreathing.
“Andifyoudon’t,yougettocomesomewhereelse...”Idrawl,lingeringmywordsbecausehe

knowsexactlywhatImean.TheonlyreasonIagreedtothosetermsisbecauseIknowTravisKing
wellenoughtoknowhe’llneverbeabletoholdoffthatlong.

“Gameon,princess.”

CHAPTERTWELVE

TRAVIS

DrewstridesbackintothediningroomjustasI’msettingthetable.Icantellsomething’sbothering
himbythewayhisfeaturestightenupandhowhebrusheshishandthroughhishair.Iknowhe’sbeen
talkingaboutMiaalotlately,buthehasn’treallysaidmuchabouthersincethelasttimehetoldme
theyspoke.

“What’sgoingon?”Drewasks,noddinghisheadtowardthetable.
“I’vegotsomefoodintheoven.Youwantsome?”
“Youmadedinner?”Hearchesabrowindisbelief.
“Yeah,Violasaidshewashungry,soIputsomethingtogether.”
Hepullsachairoutandsitsdown.“Sincewhencanyoucook?”
“Sincenow,”Ifireback.“Yougoingtoeatordrillmeallnight?”
“Sorry,man.Miaisdrivingmenuts.”
“Ithoughtyoutwoweregoingtotalkorsomething?”
“Well,wewere,butshewon’ttellmeanythinguntilwe’refacetoface,andjustbythetoneofher

voice,itdoesn’tsoundgood.”

Ipinchmylipstogether,knowingexactlywhatMiashouldtellDrew,butknowingher,she’lltwist

itaroundsomehowandplaythevictim.

“Whenisshecoming,then?”
“Mynextdayoffisn’tuntilnextWednesday,soshe’sgoingtodriveupTuesdaynightandspend

thenight.”

Icontemplategivinghimaheads-up,butI’mnotreallyinthepositiontobedeliveringbadnews.

“Well,hopefully,youguyscanworkitout.”Thewordscomeoutsincere,butnotatallbelievable.

“It’sjustdrivingmeinsane.Isitthatbadshecan’tjusttellmeoverthephoneandputmeoutofmy

misery?I’veevencontemplatedtakingasickdayanddrivinguptheremyself,butshe’sinthemiddle
ofstudyingforherupcomingfinals,soIjusthavetofuckingsitandwait.”

ViolawalksinbeforeIcanrespond.“MaybeGryffcancheeryouup.”Sheholdsthepuppyup

withawidesmile.

“Doubtful.”
“Geez.Nowwho’stheonemanstrating?”ShecradlesGryfftoherchestandtakesaseat.
Hesighs.“So,what’sthedealhere?Areyoutwolike...friendsnow?”
IseeViola’sbodygostiffinherchairandknowI’mgoingtohavetobetheonetosmooththis

oneover.“Ithoughtyou’dappreciatenofightingforonenight.”Iflashasmallsmile,shrugging
nonchalantly.Theoventimergoesoff,andIwalkbacktothekitchen,leavingViolaalonewithDrew.

Icanhearhertalkingtohimaboutthepuppyandtryingtogethimtowarmuptotheideaof

havinghimatthehouse.BythetimeIbringthefoodin,he’ssmilingandholdingGryff.

“WellifMiaandIdon’tworkout,atleastGryffwillbearoundtokeepmecompany,”hesaysas

hegetslickedbythedog.

Iwalkbackoutandbringinsomedrinksbeforesittingdown.Violagrabsthespoonandstarts

scoopingdinnerontoherplate.AfterDrewsetsGryffdown,hegrabsthedishnext.

“So,King,firstapuppyandnowdinner?Youtryingtogetintomysister ’spants?”
BeforeIcananswer,Violachokesonherdrinkandnearlyspewsitalloverthetable.
“Youallright?”Drewturnsandasks.
Shecoughsafewmoretimesbeforerubbingahandoverherthroat.“Yeah,uh,justwentdownthe

wrongpipe.”

Myheartisbeatingoutofmychestatthetensionintheairandapartofmejustwantstotellhim

rightnowandgetitoverwith,butIknowViolawouldkillmeifIdid.Ipromisedwe’dtellhimwhen
shewasready.

“So?Someonewanttotellmewhat’sgoingon?”
“I’mseeingaguyatschool,Drew,sojustcalmdown,”shesaysbeforeIcanevengetinaword.

ShesaysitsogenuinelythatIwouldalmostbelieveherifIdidn’tknowanybetter.

“Who?”
“Youdon’tknowhim.Justsomeguyinmychemclass.”Shestabsherforkintothepastaandtakes

abite.

“Ithoughtyoutookchemlastyear?”heasks,narrowinghiseyesather.
IseeherthroatmoveassheswallowsandIcantellshe’snervous.IfeellikeIshouldsay

something,butIdon’twanttomakeDrewmoresuspiciousthanhealreadyis.

“Idid.That’swhenImethim.”
She’sblushing,butthankfullyDrewdoesn’tnotice.
“Well,what’shisname?”
“Whose?”
“Theguyyou’reseeing?”
Withoutthinking,Iblurtoutthefirstnamethatcomestomind.“Toby.”Isqueezemyeyesclosed

andcursetomyself.“He’skindofquiet.”

Shedoesn’tmakeeyecontactwithhimasshepicksatherfood.
“Youmeanadork?”Ispeakup,breakingtheawkwardtension.
Sheglaresatmerightoncue,andIwinkinherdirection.“Ifbydork,youmeanhasahigherIQ

thanyoucancount,thenyes.”

Ireleaseacoughtochokebackthelaughthatthreatenstorelease.Fuck,she’sgood—always

throwingshitrightbackatme.

“Isn’tCourtney’sboyfriendnamedToby?”Drewasks,breakingthespellbetweenus.
“Uh,yeah.Well,hewas.Theybrokeupawhileago.”Shegrabsherphone,andherfingersbegin

flyingoverthescreen.“ActuallyIwasgoingtoinviteherovertomeetGryff,ifyoudon’tmind.”

Drewshrugs,hismindsuddenlyoccupied,andIwanttohigh-fiveViolaforherquick,witty

answers.

Wefinisheatinginsilence,andIwatchasViolafeedsGryffscrapsoffherplate.Herphonedings

withmessagesfromCourtney.UsinghertosidetrackDrewwasbrilliantonViola’spart—another
reasontorewardherlater.

Justaswe’recleaningupthetable,Courtneywalksinandimmediatelysquealswhensheseesthe

puppy.

“Oh,myGod!”Shebendsdownandpickshimup.“He’ssocute!”
“Itoldyou!”Violabeams.
“Ijustwanttosmothermyfaceinhisfur!”
“Quitmakingitweird,Court.”Violalaughsandleadsthembothintothelivingroom,leaving

Drewandmealoneinthekitchen.

“So,thisthingwithMiaisreallybotheringyou,huh?”ItryandmakesmalltalkbecauseI’mnot

reallysureifhewantstotalkaboutherornot.

“Yeah,Ihaveafeelingit’ssomethingbad.Didshesayanythingtoyouthatnight?”
“Well,actually,there’ssomethingI’vebeentornabouttellingyouornot,butIfigureditwasbest

toletMiatellyouinstead.”

“Fuck,man.Idon’tknowifIcanwaitthatlong.Ican’tfocusonanything.”
BeforeIcanrespond,Courtneyletsoutaloudlaugh,directingusbothtowardthelivingroom.I

watchDrew’sfacialexpressionsoften,andIknowhecoulduseagooddistractionrightnow.

“I’mgoingtothepetstoretopickoutsometoysandfoodforGryff.He’llprobablyneed

somethingtodowhileyou’reatschool,”IsaytoViolaasIheadtowardthedoor,hopingshecatches
thehint.

ItakeastepbehindDrewandnodmyheadtowardhimandthenonceagainatCourtney.Viola

picksituprightawayandscramblestostandupquickly.

“It’smydog,andIwanttospoilhim,too.”
Iliftaneyebrowatherandalmostforgetthatwe’renotalone.“Ifyouwanttocome,I’llallowit.”
Shesmirksatmyinnuendo.“Ido,andI’lldrive.”

VIOLA

C:Didyouseriouslyinvitemeoverjusttoleavemealonewithyourbrother?!

“Shesoundspissed,”Travissays,laughingashereadshermessagesonmyphone.“WhatshouldI

respond?”

“Tellhertotaketheopportunityandseducehim.”
“I’mnotwritingthat,”hedeadpans.“I’lltellhertosendatitpic.”
Laughing,Ireachoverandgrabmyphonefromhishand.“Shutup.She’llbefine.”
Oncewearriveatthepetstore,TravisgrabsGryff’sleashandleadsusinside.Wepickouta

handfulofchewtoys,treats,dogfood,andalittlebed.

“Youknowhe’llprobablyneversleepinthat,”Itellhimaswecheckout.
“Whynot?”
“He’sapuppy!He’sgoingtowanttosleepnexttoawarmbody.”
“I’dpreferyourwarmbody.”
“I’msurehe’llletyouspoonhimwhenI’mgone.”
“Okay,fine.ButI’mcallingdibsonbeingthebigspoon.”
Wewalkoutofthestorewithalargebagofdogfoodandtwobagsfilledwithtoysandtreats.

“Handmeyourkeys,”Travissays,holdinghishandout.Idangletheminfrontofhim,andhegrabs
thembeforeIcanpullaway.“Nicetry,princess.NowIgettodrivethePrissyPrius.”

Iscowlathisnicknameformypreciouscar.“I’mgoingtoteachGryfftobiteyouanytimeyou

makeasnidecomment.”

“AndthenI’lljustunteachhim,andwhenyoucomeback,I’llhavetaughthimallkindsofgood

stufflikefetchingbeersfromthefridgeandtakingoutthetrash.”

“Geez,don’tsetyourstandardshighoranything.”IrollmyeyesasIgetintothepassengerside

withGryff.“Youthinkweshoulddrivearoundbeforegoingbackhome?”

“AreyouexpectingCourtneytomakehermovefinally?”heasks,turningthekeyandshifting

intogear.

“So,it’sthatobvious,huh?”
“NottoDrew,apparently.He’skindofblindedbythefogofMia.”
Isigh.“So,DrewreallyneveraskedaboutthatnightwithMia?”
IseehisthroattightenandIwonderifIhitanerve.“No.I’veofferedtotellhimeverything,but

sheshouldreallybetheoneto.”

“Doyouthinkshewill?”
“Honestly?No.”Heshrugs.“Ifshetriestopullanyofherusualshit,though,I’mtellinghim,

whetherhewantstohearitornot.”

Ipinchmylips,wantingtoaskhim,butnotwantingtosoundlikeIdon’ttrusthim.Miahasalways

beenuptonogood,butItrustTravis’judgment.

Insteadofsayinganything,IdistractmyselfwithmyphoneandseethatCourtneyhassentme

multipletextmessages.

Hehasthebestlaughever.*sigh*

OMGIwanttohavehisbabies.

Woulditbeweirdtocutapieceofhishairoffandsleepwithit?

Ourbabieswouldbesoprettywithmyblueeyesandhiswilddarkhair,don’tyouthink?

Hewinkedatme.

Ijustdied.

DIED.

DEAD.

“Goodlord,”Imurmur,shakingmyhead.“Courtneyshouldn’tbeleftalonewithDrew.Ialmost

feelbad.PerhapsIshould'vewarnedhimbeforeweleft...”

“Nah,it’sgoodforhim.”
“She’snotusuallythiscrazy,butshe’scrushedonhimsincethefirstdaytheymet.”
“Letmeguess.Drewbarelyflinched.”
“Prettymuch.Hewouldn’trecognizeflirtingifitsmackedhimintheface,pulledhishair,and

gavehimatittytwister.”

“Jesus.Remindmenottopissyouoff.”
Ishoothimalook,andhesmirksatme.
IsendCourtneyatext.

V:Codered:We’reonourwayback.Ifyou’renaked,warnusnow.

C:Ohlikeyouhaven’tseenmenakedbefore?

V:Well,Ididn’tplanonmakingitahabit.

C:Fine...butifyoumustknow,DrewandIareatleastanarm’slengthapart,soI’dsaythe
friendzonehasbeensetinplace.:(

“Hefriendzonedher,”ItellTravis,typingoutmyresponse.“Ifhersignswereanybrighter,he’d

goblind.”

“Should’veseenhimincollege,”hesnorts.“Girlswerenearlycrawlingathisfeet,andhewas

justsooblivioustoit.”

Inodinagreement.“Iimaginealotofbrokenheartsfollowed.”
“Yeah,that’swhythiswholethingwithMiapissesmeoff.Iwishhe’djustlethergoandmoveon.

She’sbadnews.”

Iswallowagain,fidgetingwithGryff’scollarasIthinkofawaytobringupthatnight.Figuring

thebestwayisjusttoripitofflikeaBand-Aid,Iask,“Hasshecheatedonhim?”Cringing,waiting
forhisreaction,Iwatchashisfingerstightenaroundthesteeringwheel.

“Sheclaimsshedidn’t,butshewaswithaguywhenIfoundher.”
Mybloodboils,andI’mtemptedtocallherupmyselfandtellhertostayawayfromDrew,but

knowingtheconnivingbitchsheis,shewouldn’t,justtopissmeoffevenmore.Inaweirdway,it’s
alsocomfortingtohearshewaswithanotherguy,whichsolidifiesmytrustforTravis.

“Notsurprised,”Isayonashallowbreath.
WepullintothedrivewayandTravistakesGryfffrommebeforegettingout.“Let’stakehimfor

awalk.”Heflashesaknowingsmileandwinks.

WesilentlywalkhandinhandasTravisholdsontohisleashwithhisfreehand.It’ssopeaceful

andeasy,andIalmostforgetDrewisinthehousesulking.

“I’mreallygoingtomissyouwhenyouleave,”hesaysinasofttone.Hedoesn’tlookatme,butI

canseethathismindisgoingathousandmilesaminute.

“I’mgoingtomissyou,too.”Isqueezemyhandinhis,lettinghimknoweverythingIdon’tknow

howtosay.“GryffwillliketakingallthesewalkswithyouwhenI’mgone.”

“He’llbeprettybigbythetimeyoureturn.”
“Maybeshowhimapictureofmeeveryfewdays,sohedoesn'tforget,”Isay,smilingandfinally

gettingalaughoutofhim.

“Icandothat,butjustknowthey’llbetheonesofyourtitsandass.”Hesmirks,andIplayfully

bumpmyhipintohis.

Wewalkafewmorestepsbeforehestopsandpullsmeintohischest.“IhopeyouknowIwould

waitforyou,evenifitwasayearorsixyears.Everydayyou’regoneisgoingtosuckmajorass,but
I’llbethinkingofyoueverysecond.”

“Youknowyoureallysuckatnotmakingmefeelguilty.”Ipout,stickingmylowerlipoutathim.
Heleansinandpullsitinbetweenhisteethbeforereleasingit.“Good.Iwanttheguilttoconsume

you.”Asmileplaysathislips,andIcan’tresistsmilingbackathim.

“It’sjustsixmonths,”Iremindhim.“That’seasypeasy.”
Hesighs,brushinghisthumbovermycheek.Hepressesasoftkisstomylips,andImeltintohim.

Gryffstartswhining,tanglinghisleashinbetweenourlegs.

Travisbreaksthekissanduntanglestheleashwhilemutteringafewcursewords.
“MaybeyoucantakehimtoafewofthosepuppyclassesandgethimalltrainedbeforeI’mback.”

Ismileatmybrilliantidea.

“Hemightneedmorethanjustafew.”Hegroans,adjustingtheleashagainandleadingusbackto

thehouse.

Courtneyisinheavenwhenwereturn,andshemakesmepromisetoinviteheroveragainsoonto

‘visitGryff.’TravisandIavoideachothertherestofthenightwhileIfinishlaundry.Drew’salready
suspicious,sothemoredistancebetweenusrightnow,thebetter.

Theweekendfliesby,withstudyingforfinalsandcomingovertoplaywithGryff.Fortunately,

Drewworksallweekend,sowedon’thavetopretendwhilewe’retogether.Hecontinueswallowing

aroundwhenhe’shome,soIdomybesttocheerhimupandcasuallymentionCourtneyin
conversation.Asexpected,hedoesn’ttakethebait,soI’mleftwatchinghimmopeonthecouch
instead.

ByTuesdaynight,Drewissodamnanxious;Ican’ttakeitanymore.Miaistoarriveanyminute,

andlikeusual,Isitonthecouch,pretendingtoactindifferent.Travishasbeenbringingsomeofhis
workfileshometolookbusywhileDrewishome.

“Dude,drinkthis,”IhearTravissay.IlookupandseehimhandingDrewashot.“You’rewound

uptighterthanaG-string.Youneedtorelax.”

“I’mtrying,”hesaysthroughclenchedteeth,takingtheshotandfinallypouringitdownhisthroat.

“ButIhaven’tseenherinsolong,andIhavenoideawhatshe’sgoingtosay,whichismakingme
anxiousashell.”

Hepatshimontheshoulderandpoursmorewhiskeyinhisshotglass.“Whateverhappens,man,

I’llbehere,okay?”

“Thanks.”Hepoursitdownandholdsitbackoutforarefill.
Tirescrunchinthedriveway,andwealllooktowardthedoor.Goosebumpscovermyskin,andI

can’thelpfeelingnervousforDrew.

“Doyouguysmindstayingoutherewhilewetalkinmyroom?”
“Whateveryouneed,”Travisanswers,walkingtowardGryffandmeonthecouch.Youcanbarely

seethefrontdoorfromthecouch.

Webothsitsilently,waitingtohearthefirstexchange.Drewopensthedoor,andwewait.Finally,

footstepsenterthehouse.HerheelsclickonthehardwoodfloorasDrewwrapshisarmsaroundher
foranawkwardhug.

“Howwasthedriveover?”Ihearhimask.Shemumblesaquietnotbad,andsoonDrewisleading

herdownthehalltohisroomandthenaclickofthedoor.

IglanceoveratTraviswholookslikehe’ssweatingandabouttovomit.EventhoughI’vetold

him—andmyself—overandoverthatItrusthimandthatwe’regoingtomakeitworkwhenI’m
gone,Ican’tdenytheheavyfeelinginsidemychestthatsomethingisn’tright.Partofmeregretsnot
hearingthewholestoryofthatnight,butprovingItrustedhimwascrucialforourrelationship.

WesitinsilenceaswewatchtheTVonalowvolume.Gryffisasleepinmylapandthesoundof

Drewswinginghisbedroomdooropenstartleshimawake.

“King!”
Ijumpatthevolumeofhisvoice.He’snotpissed;he’senraged.
Travisjumpsupandstartswalkingtowardthem.AsmuchasIwanttofollow,Istayput.Idon’t

needtobringattentiontothefactthatI’mfollowingTravisorthatI’meavesdroppingonthem.

“Thefuck?”IhearDrewshout.“Areyoufuckingkiddingme?”
Finally,Ican’ttakeitanylongerandsetGryffasideasIstandup.Itiptoeoutofthelivingroom

anddownthehallwhereIcanhearMiacryingandDrewyelling.

“That’snothowithappened,”IhearTravissay,defensiveandshort.
ItakeanotherfewstepsuntilIcanpeekthroughthedoorgapandlookinside.
“Thenpleaseenlightenme.”Drewcrosseshisarmsoverhischest,hisfeetplantedfirmlyonthe

floor,readyforafight.“Explainhowyourlipslandedonmygirlfriend’s.”

MyeyeswidenasIunintentionallyreleasealoudgasp.Allthreeofthemturntheirheadstoward

me,andbeforeIcancontrolit,tearsstartfallingdownmycheeks.Drewpushesthedooropenwider,
sothefourofusarenowinanawkwardcircle.

“Whatthehellareyoudoinginhere?”Miaaskswithascoff.Herfaceisred,andhercheeksare

puffy,butIdon’tbelieveherfakeperformanceonebit.

“Iheardyelling.Iwasjustmakingsureeverythingwasokay.”

“Everything’sfine,Viola,”Travissays,butIrefusetolookhimintheeyes.
Drewcockshisheadandstudiesmyface,andIknowhecanseerightthroughme.“You’vegotto

befuckingkiddingme!”heroars,turninghisheadtowardTravis.“Kissingmygirlfriendwasn’t
enough,youhadtonailmysister,too?”

Oh,myGod.
Thud.
Myheartispoundingsohard;Ibettheycanallfeelit.too.
Andasifthatrevelationwasn’tenough,Miaspeaksuponceagain.“Oh,hetriedmorethanthat.

WhydoyouthinkIwasstrippeddowntomypanties?”Thewordsleavehermouth,andIinstantly
wanttopummelherintotheground.

“Goodquestion,Travis.”DrewlooksatTravisagain,andIcanseethefirebrewinginhiseyes.

Hisbloodisboiling.“Butwhat’sevenabetterquestionishowthefuckcouldyoubetraymelike
that?”

BeforeTraviscananswer,Drewgrabshimbythecollarandpusheshimupagainstthedoor.“My

fuckingsister,man?”

“Drew,no!”Ireachout,butMiastepsinandblocksme.
“Whatthehellwereyouthinking?”Hepusheshisbodyintothedooronceagainbeforereleasing

him.“Iwould’veforgivenyoufortouchingMia,butmysister?”Heshakeshishead.“You’redeadto
me.”

TearswellonthebrimsofmyeyesandIcan’tholdthembackanymore.VisionsofhimandMia

instantlyfloodmymind,andIcan’ttakeitanymore.Irushdownthehall,grabbingmypurseand
shoesonmywayoutthedoor.

TravisyellsbehindmeasInearmycar.Iignorehimandthrowmyshitinthebackseatassoonas

Iunlockit.

“Viola,wait!Please!”Hegrabsmyelbowandspinsmearound.“Letmeexplain.”
“Idon’twanttohearanymoreliesfromyou.”Ipullmyarmoutofhisgrip.“Itrustedyou,”I

hiss.

“You’regoingtobelieveMiaoverme?”
“Soareyousayingyoutwodidn’tkiss?”Ichallenge.
Hebrushesahandthroughhishairashisjawticks.
“That’swhatIthought.”Iturnandreachforthedoorhandle,buthestopsmeonceagain.
“That’snothowithappened,Viola.”
Irollmyeyesandletoutanamusedchuckle.“Classic,Travis.Seriously.”
“Stopbeingsodamnstubbornforonce,”hegrowls.“Shekissedme,Viola.Nottheotherway

around.Ihavezerointerestinher.”

Ishakemyheadandnarrowmyeyesathim.“Thatdoesn’tevenmakesense.Eitheryoukissed,or

youdidn’t.”

“Okay,yes,butIdidn’tkissherback.Shethrewuponherdressandrippeditoff,soIhadherlay

inthebackseat.That’sallthathappened.Iswear,Viola.”

“Soyou’retellingmeyoutwodidn’tmakeoutinyourcar?Thesamecarwe’vebeentogether

in?”

Hisheadfallsback,andhegroansoutinfrustration.“Itwasn’tlikethat.”
“So,howcouldyounottellme?IsaidIdidn’tneedtohearthewholestorybecauseItrustedyou,

butIaskedifanythinghadhappenedbetweenyoutwoandyousaidno.Nowitlookslikeyouhad
somethingtohideafterall.”

“Becauseitwasnothing!ShegavemeakissIdidn’twantandnowshe’sallpissybecauseI

rejectedher.That’stheonlyreasonshe’ssayingthosethingsnow.”

“Evenifshe’stheonethatkissedyouandyoupushedheraway,that’smorethanjustnothing.

Especiallyconsideringshe’syourbestfriend’sgirlfriend.Thatshould’vebeensomethingyoutold
me.NowIstandherelikeanidiot,thinkingyouwerebeingonehundredpercenthonestwithme.”

“Becauseitmeantabsolutelynothingtome!Ididn’twantyoutoworryfornoreasonbecauseI

don’twantanythingtodowithher.Ineverhave.Idon’tcareabouther.You’reallIwant,Viola.”

“Well,thenit’sashameyougambledawaymytrustonsomeonethatmeantnothingtoyou.”
“Don’tsaythat,Viola.Please.Iwouldneverhurtyou.”Hegrabsmyhandandsecuresitbetween

bothofhisoverhischest.

“Youalreadyhave,Travis.”
“Viola,please.”
Tearsfalldownmycheeks,andIdon’tevenhaveenoughstrengthtowipethemaway.“Howcana

relationshipworkifthere’snotrust?”Iask,andhedoesn’tanswer.“Itcan’t.”Ipullmyhandback,and
hereluctantlyreleasesit.

“Iwilldowhateverittakestogainyourtrustback,butIpromise,youhavenothingtoworry

about.Theone-nightstands,thegirls,andguys’nightsout—I’mdonewithallthat.”

Ishakemyheadandclosemyeyes.“It’stoolate,Travis.Ican’tdothisagain.I’vegivenyoumy

heart,andhavebeeninlovewithyouforsolongthatIjustcan’tletyouthrowmeawayagain.”

“That’sthefirsttimeyou’veeversaidthat.”Hisvoiceislow,andwhenIlookbackupathim,I

canseehe’scrying,too.

“Andit’llbethelast.”
“Viola...”
Ireachforthedoorandslideinside,shuttingitbehindme.He’slookingatmewithhishands

behindhishead—hiseyesredandswollen—andIcan’tfightbackthetears.Ishiftthecarintoreverse,
andonceI’mable,Ishiftagainandwatchhiminmyrearviewmirror.He’sbentover,hisknees
supportingtheweightofhishandsasheshakeshishead.

Myheartislyinginthatdriveway,shatteredintoamillionpieces,andI’mnotsureit’lleverbeat

rightagain.

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

TRAVIS

Viola’sgraduationistonight,andshehasn’trespondedtoanyofmymessages,calls,oremails.It’s
beenoveraweek.It’skillingme.Ineedhersofuckingbad.ItfeelslikeIcan’tbreathewithoutherin
mylife.Asmuchasitmakesmesoundlikeapussyandanasshole,Idon’tthinkI’veevertrulyfelt
thiswaybefore.

AfterViolahadstormedout,DrewsentMiahome,andhe’sbarelylookedatmesince.Thefact

thathe’smorepissedaboutmebeingwithhissisterthanthesituationwithMiasaysalotabouttheir
relationship,butthatdoesn’tmatterbecauseshe’sfullofshit.Shealwayshasbeen.I’mpissedthatI
eversupportedtheirtoxicrelationshipbecausesomehowit’sbledintoandaffectedmyown.

Ontopofthat,Alyssahasstartedcomingaroundmyofficeagain,offeringmeher‘services,’and

it’stakenallofmywillpowertocalmlyaskhertoleaveinsteadofkickingherassoutlikeIsobadly
want.I’mactuallyproudofmyselfforkeepingmycomposure,consideringmyworldisrockingon
itsaxis.

Thisweekfuckingblows.
Andfuck!ImissViola.
Sheshouldbeherewiththisfuckingdogandme.Gryffwhinesallnightlong,wakesmeupat

leastthreetimestogooutside,andbarksateverycarorpersonthatgoesby.Thelittlefuckersleeps
alldayandthenwantstoplayalldamnnight.Ican’tevenbemadathimforbeingsodamnannoying
becauseheremindsmeofher.WhenIthinkabouthowmuchshelovedhim,itmakesmesmile.He
evenstillsmellslikeher,sowhenheclimbsuponmybedandnuzzleshiswayunderthecovers,I
wakeupwithherscentsurroundingme,andit’sfuckingtorture.

Nottryingtobeacrazyex,butsomehowseeminglikeone,Iparkedoutsideherdormonenight,

hopingI’dcatchherwalkinginorout,butsheneverdid.I’mnotsurewhatIwouldhavesaidtoher
anyway,soit’sprobablybestshedidn’t.Ifigureshe’sprobablystayingwithCourtney,butIdon’t
knowwhereshelives,soI’mstuckbeggingovervoicemailforhertoreturnmycalls.I’veleftso
manymessagesthathervoicemaileventuallybecametoofulltoreceiveanymore.

Ineedhertoletmeexplain,totellherthewholetruthandnotMia’stwistedversionofthetruth.

Shehaseveryrighttobemadatme,butIcan’tbearthethoughtofherflyingacrossthecountry
withoutseeingorspeakingwithherfirst.SoeventhoughDrewhasmadehisfeelingsloudandclear
tomecomingtoherceremonytonight,hecan’tstopme.Theirfamilyiscoming,too,soit’snotlike
she’llbeabletodenymyexistence.

I’mgonebeforehearriveshomeandfindmyselfmindlesslydrivingaroundbeforeIendupatthe

parkinglotwithadozenredrosesandacard.Iscribbleanoteinsidethecardandwillgiveittoher
whethershewantsitornot.

There’ssomanysmilingfaceswalkingintotheauditorium,andItryreallyhardtoplaythepart.

AlumpformsinmythroatknowingIwillseeherforthefirsttimeinoveraweek.Overtheyears,
I’vegivenheramillionreasonsnottotrustme;butthistime,myinnocenceissofuckingtragicthat
Shakespearecouldhavewrittenit.

Rightbeforetheceremonystarts,Ifindaplacetosit.Thevenueiscrowded,andlotsofpeopleare

holdingsignsfortheirlovedones.Afterthecommencementspeech,theannouncerbeginscalling
namesbydepartments.MybodygoesrigidwhenIhearViolaFisherfollowedbySummaCumLaude.
NotthatIeverdoubtedher,butshereceivedthehighesthonorsandI’mgenuinelyhappyforherand
soproud.Thesmileonherfacegrows,andthetearsinhereyesformasshewalksacrossthatstage.
She’swantedthisforsolong,andnowthetimehascome.Iwouldn’thavemissedthismomentforthe
world.

Hootingandholleringandsoundsfromairhornscomefromanoppositecorneroftheroom,and

IinstantlyspotViola’sparentsandDrew.Anditfuckinghurtsnottobesittingwiththem.They’ve
alwaysbeenmysecondfamily,andnowI’mtheoutcast.

Violaseesthem,raisesherdiplomawithafistpump,andwalksbacktoherchair.Ontopofher

graduationcap,I’mprettysureitsaysMischiefManagedingoldenletters.Ican’thelpbutlaughather
HarryPotternerdiness.

ThenextnamethatstrikesmyattentionisCourtneyBishop,MagnaCumLaude.Holyshit,she’sa

littlenerd,too.Well,whowould’veguessedthat?Courtneywalksacrossthestagewithherlong
blondehairinwavesandbighighheels,andshetreatsitlikeacatwalk.Abunchofhigh-pitched
whistlesringoutclosetome,andIturnandseewhatmustbeherentirefamily.Mostofthemenare
wearingcowboyhats,andthewomen’shairisheavenhigh.Ican’thelpbutchuckle.

Oncethestudentsexit,IwatchViolaglancearoundtheroom,asifshe’slookingforsomeone.

Me,maybe?Iwanttostandupandyellhername,butIstopmyself.Thetimebeginstopassquicker,
knowingIwillseeherface-to-faceinamatterofminutes.IwatchDrewandhisdadmaketheirway
downthestairs,followedbyViola’smomandstepdad.Thoughtherearetonsofpeopleintheroom,I
keepmyeyesonthem,knowingViolawillbesearchingforthem,too.Iheadoutsidewhereeveryone
ishuddled,waitingfortheirlovedones,andwhenIturnthecorner,Iseeher.Oureyeslockandthe
smileonherfacefades.It’sjustthetwoofusinaseaofpeople,andallIwanttodoiskissthefuck
outofher.Instead,Ituckmylipsinsidemymouthandforcemywaythroughthecrowdtowardher.
Shegentlyshakesherhead,givingmeasilentwarning,butIdon’tcare.

BeforeI’mabletomutteraword,DrewstepsupandhugsViola,pretendingI’mnotthere.Viola

looksathimandlooksatme,anditbreaksmyfuckingheartthatshe’sinthissituation,whichwas
exactlywhatshewasworriedabout.Apparently,I’maliarandbetrayedmybestfriend.Itwasnever
supposedtoendthisway.

IhandhertherosesandthecardandgiveherahugregardlessofhowstiffherbodygoeswhenI

touchher.“Congrats,princess,”Iwhisperinherear,beforereleasingherandwalkingaway.Asmuch
asIwanttohangaround,leavingwasthebestthingIcoulddobecauseherparentswouldforcemeto
stayoncetheysawme.ThelastthingI’deverwantistoruinherspecialday.

BythetimeIgetbacktomycar,andI’moutoftheparkinglot,Ifeellikeamillionpoundsare

sittingdirectlyonmychest.IfIhadtheabilitytogobackintimeandtellhereverydetailfromthe
nightoftheaccident,Iwould,butweallknowthatonlyhappensinthemovies.Where’sadamntime-
turnerwhenyouneedone?

Idrivetothecampuscoffeeshopandorderoneofthoseorganicsoyshitcoffeesandsitata

secludedtableawayfromthedudereadingpoetryaboutbrokenhearts.RegardlessofhowlostIfeel
atthemoment,Istillfindmyselfrollingmyeyes.Eachtimethebellabovethedoorringsout,Ilook
up,hopingit’sViola.Afteranhourpasses,Idrivebacktothehouse,gotomyroom,andshutthe
door.

Gryffissohappytoseeme,andIfeelbadforpushinghimaway.Ilieonmybed,turnontheTV,

andhetuckshimselfbesideme.

“It’sjustyouandmebuddy,”IsayasIpethislittlehead.“Butshe’llbeback.”

VIOLA

I’mabigballofemotions.Betweenallthechangesinmylife,graduation,moving,andthebreak

up,I’mamess.I’vefelteveryemotionthatexistsinthelasttendaysasifI’mcheckingthemoffa
masterlist.Atfirst,Iwashurt,distraught,andupset,whichtransformedintomebeinglividaboutthe
entiresituation.Then,IwantedtopullaCourtneyandgoallcrazyex-girlfriendonhisass.Hisnew
Challengeralmostgotadozeneggscrackedacrossitsshinyblackpaint,butinstead,Ikeptmy
distance.Itwasthebestthingformetodo.IavoidedDrew’shouseliketheplagueandevendid
laundryatCourtney’sthisweek.ButImissmyroutineandpoorlittleGryff.

Drewhasn’tbeenabletolookmeintheeye,andI’mjustaspissedathimasheisatme.Iwantto

stranglehim.AndI’vealreadywarnedhimthatifheevenmentionsMia’snamearoundme,hebetter
callforbackupbecausehispolicebuddiesaretheonlyonesthat’llbeabletosavehim.She’saliar
andacheater,andshe’sfullofmisery.Iwillnolongersitbyandtakeit.Hebarelyacknowledgesmy
existence,andIwon’tacceptMiaandhim,sowe’reatanimpasse.

Aftergraduation,ourparentstakeustodinner,andit’sawkwardashell.Afterward,IdriveDrew

backtohistruck,andweexchangeafewsentenceswithoneanother,butthat’sit.Ihatethathe’spissed
atTravisandme,butwhatIhateevenmoreishisstubbornnessaboutthewholesituation.AsIpullup
tohistruck,heturnsandlooksatme,butIspeakfirst.

“Areyougoingtokeepactinglikeabigol’babyuntilIleave?”Iaskhimdirectly.
Herollshiseyesatme.“Mybestfriend,Viola.Why?”Thehurtinhistonedoesn’tgounnoticed,

andguiltwashesovermeagain.It’sadirtysensation.

“Pleasedon’tbemadatme.It’skillingmetoknowyou’rethrowingawayyourrelationshipwith

meandyourbestfriend.”

“Idon’thateyou,Vi.I’mjustagitated.Irealizeyou’releaving.You’regrowingup,andIwon’tbe

aroundtoprotectyou.AllI’veeverwantedisforyoutobehappy.That’sallI’veeverwantedfor
Travis,too.Butyoubothfelttheneedtolietome.TwopeopleItrustedwithmylifebothsnuck
aroundbehindmybacktogetherandbetrayedme.Ishould’verealizeditwhenyougotthatfucking
puppy.”Heshakeshisheadwithanaggravatedsigh.

Lowblow.Gryffwasathankyougift,butIwon’tcorrecthimrightnow.It’sthefirsttimehe’s

admittedanyofthat,andIhatethatit’scometothis—thathe’shurtingbecauseofouractions.It’s
everythingIwantedtoavoidinthefirstplace,butIknowmyactionshaveconsequences.

“I’mnotalittlegirlanymore,Drew,”Isaywhenhefinallylooksupatme.“Justsoyouknow,

Traviswantedtotellyourightaway,butIaskedhimnottobecauseIwantedthetimingtoberight.”I
letoutasarcasticlaughasifthetimingwouldeverberight.

Heshrugs,unaffected.“Hebrokethebrocodeonsomanylevels,Vi.Youdon’tmessaroundwith

yourfriend’ssisterbehindtheirback—noexceptions,”hestatesfirmly.

“Iknow.Butyouwon’thavetoworryaboutitagainbecauseI’mleavinganyway.EverythingI

lovewillbeinCali,andI’llbethousandsofmilesaway.I’msorry.Withgraduationandthe
internship,Iwasbusyfocusingonthat.”Myeyesbegintowater,andI’mallowingmyemotionsto
slipagain.Iwipeatearthatstreamsdownmyfaceandtrytocomposemyself.

“Itwasalotformetodealwith.So,please,ifyou’regoingtobepissedatsomeonefornot

knowing,directyourangertowardme.AsmuchasIwanttoblamehim,it’snotTravis’fault.Inever
wantedorintendedtohurtyou,Drew.You’remybigbrother.Myhero.Oneofmybestfriends,andas
muchasyoupissmeoff,Iloveyou.I’mreallysorryithappenedthisway,butIcan’tbesorryit
happened,evenifitwasabigmistake.”

Drewsitsthereforasecond,lookingstraightoutthewindowasifhe’sabsorbingallofmy

words.Heletsoutasighandthenasmallchuckle.“You’restillanerdylittlebrat;youknowthat?”

“Andyou’regoingtomissmewhenI’mgone.Areweokay?”
“Iforgiveyouthisoncebutonlybecausewe’refamilyandMomsaysIhavetolikeyou.”Drew

jokesjustlikeheusedtowhenwewereyounger.Iletoutasigh,knowingwe’regoingtobeokay.His
phonevibratesinhispocket,andashepullsitout,IglancedownandseeMia’scalling.

“I’llseeyoulater,sis.”Hegetsoutandanswersitimmediately.
Evenafterallthetroubleshe’sstarted,Miastillhasthisholdoverhim.Iwishhecouldsee

throughthebullshit,butperspectiveiseverything,andIcan’tbeahypocrite.

BeforeIputthecarindrive,IcatchthesweetsmelloftherosesTravisgaveme.Thoughhe

shouldn’thave,I’mgladhewastheretoacknowledgetheaccomplishment.Itmeantalot,butIdon’t
havethewordstotellhimthatyet.Myheartstillhurts,andI’mstilllearningtopushallofthe
memorieswespenttogethertotheside.Theysaydistancemakestheheartgrowfonder,butapartof
mepraysthatdistancewillhelpmeforget.

Ireachinthebackseatfortheredenvelope.Thefronthasacouplekissingincolorwhiletherest

oftheimageisinblackandwhite.Inside,thecardisblank,butinalluppercaseletters,hewrote:
CONGRATULATIONS,PRINCESS!I’MSOPROUDOFYOU!GRYFF&ILOVEYOU!

Belowthatisanoteinhissignaturescribblehandwriting.Istillplanondrivingyoutotheairport

soIcanseeyouonelasttimebeforeyouleave.Imissyou.Imissus.

ForamomentIclosemyeyesandcansmellthehintofhiscologneonthecard.
Ipeelmyeyesopenandstudyitforamomentlongerbeforeshovingitbackintotheenvelopeand

settingitinmymiddleconsole.

Thinkingabouthiswrittenmessage,Ifeeltorn.We’dplannedonhimtakingmesothatwecould

spendthoselastmomentstogether,butnowI’msecond-guessingthatplan.I’mafraidIwon’twantto
leaveifIseehimagain.Maybeacleanbreakiswhatwebothneed.

AssoonasIpulluptomydorm,IgetatextfromCourtney.
C:Drinkstonight?

V:HowaboutIwatchyoudrink?I’mnotinthemood.Ihavetostartpacking.

C:DEAL!Bethereinanhour,afterIditchmyfamily.

Iwalkinsidewiththerosesandcard.Iplacetheflowersinavaseandleanagainstthecounterand

lookaroundateverythingI’mleaving.Afterafewmoreminutes,IgotomyroomtomakesureI
didn’tforgettopackanything.Thefewboxesstackedagainstthewallwillbeshippedtomynew
apartmentonMonday.Otherthanafewmorebooksandclothes,everythingisreadytogo.Butit’s
easymovingwhenmostofthefurnitureisscrewedtothewallandfloor.

It’sfunnyhowtimeseemstocrawlby,theninablinkofaneye,it’slikeyearshavepassed.

Collegehasbeenmylifeforthelastfouryears,andit’sbittersweettobeleaving,tobeopeninganew
chapterinmylife.

ApoundonthedoorletsmeknowCourtneyhasarrived,andIcan’thelpbutshakemyheadasI

rushtothedoor.WhenIopenit,she’sstillwearingthetightlittleblackdressshehadonunderher
graduationgownandhighheelsthatmakehertoweroverme.

“Well,comeon,IneedastiffdrinkafterdealingwiththeBeverlyHillbillies.Oh,youdidn’tknow

theycamefromTexastoCalifornia?”

Ilaugh.“I’msurethey’renotthatbad.”

Sheplayfullyrollshereyesandstepsinside,noticingtheflowersonthecounter.“Oh,myGod.

Yougotroses?Seriously?Fromwho?”

Myeyesmeethers,andIdon’tevenhavetosay.Sheimmediatelyknows.
“Maybeyoushouldtalktohim?”
“NoteamTraviolatalktonight.”MywordscomeoutharsherthanIintendthemto.Courtgives

measmallsmileandnodsherhead.Eversincethatnight,Ihaven’tbeenabletotalkabouthim,but
thewholeout-of-sight,out-of-mindthingistotalbullshit.Often,whenI’malone,Ifindmyself
wonderingwhathe’sdoingandI’msotemptedtotexthim,butIdon’t.Myheartissoreadytobetray
mymind,butIcan’t.Ineedtofocusonmyfuturewhilelearningtobealone.

“Comeon.”CourtneyloopsherarmswithmineanddragsmetotheJeep.I’mgoingtomissthis

sodamnmuch,anditmakesmesadthatshewon’tbeabletocapturemewhenevershewants.Asshe
startsit,shebendsdownandyanksoffherheels,throwingtheminthebackseat.“Thosefucking
heels...”

Thetopisdown,andthewindisblowingthroughmyhair.Courtneyissingingatthetopofher

lungs,drivingwaytoofast,andallIcandoissmile.

“Wherearewegoing?”Iask.
“CheesecakeFactory?”
“Youmustwanttomakeittosecondbasetonight.”Ijokewithherbecausethisiswhereallthe

collegeguysbringtheirgirlfriendsfordatenightwhentheywantbrowniepointstoredeemlaterat
night.

Shepullsintotheparkinglotandreachesinthebackforherheels.“IfwewereinTexas,I’djust

gobarefoot.”

“You’reridiculous.”Ilaugh.
“Ithappensallthetime.Youhavenoidea.”
Wewalkinside,andsheleadsmestraighttothebar.Beforesheevensitsdown,she’sorderinga

Martini.IorderwaterandapieceofGodivachocolatecheesecake.Chocolatefixesallwounds.

“Whatareyougoingtodonow?”Iaskherwhenthewaiterslidesthesliceofheaveninfrontof

me.Shegrabsmyforkandtakesabite.“Yup,diedandwenttoheaven.”Shesmiles,butthenfrowns.
“Honestly?”

Inod.
“Ihavenoidea.JustthoughtI’dkindofwingit.Myleasedoesn’tenduntiltheendoftheyear.”

Sheshrugs.“Notsure.”

“Youstressmeout.”Ilaugh.“Yourgradeswerenearlyperfect.Youcouldgetajobanywhere.”
Shenudgesme.“Yourgradeswereperfect.I’lljustlivelifevicariouslythroughyou.”
Aftershefinishesmycheesecakeandherdrink,webothstartyawning.Whowouldhavethought

graduationwouldbesotiring?Wedrivebacktomydorm,andbeforeIgetout,Iturnandlookather.
Thisoverwhelmingsenseofsadnesstakescontrol,andIleanoverandgiveherasidehug.Courtney
unbucklesandpullsmeintoabighugandwrapsbotharmsaroundme.Ilaugh,thinkingabouthow
muchwelooklikelovers,butit’snotevenlikethat.She’sthesisterIalwayswishedIhad.

“I’mgoingtomissthefuckoutofyou,Lola.”
“I’mgoingtomissyoutoo,Court.”
“Who’sgoingtokeepmesanewhenyou’regone?”Webreakourhug.
“MaybeI’llgetDrewto,”Isaywithasmile.
Hereyeswiden,andIgetoutoftheJeep.“Don’tyoudareteasemelikethat!”
“WhosaidIwasteasing?Bye!”
ShesmilesandreversestheJeepsohardthetiressqueal.IhearTaylorSwiftblaringinthe

distance,andIknowthatitmightbethelasttimewegettohangoutbeforeIleave.I’mstill

questioningifleavingistherightchoice,butIhopetoGoditis.

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

TRAVIS

Anotherdreadfuldayattheofficehasmesecond-guessingreturningearlyinthefirstplace.Ifeel
fine,buttheawkwardtensionbetweenBlakeandmeisundeniable.Alyssawalksbymyoffice,licks
herlips,andpullsherskirtupjustbeforewalkingoff.

Iknowthetwoofthemarestillplottingsomethingagainstme,especiallynowthatAlyssais

officiallytheDirectorofGlobalSales.I’msotiredoftheirshitthatI’vebeenthinkingmoreand
moreaboutmymother ’sideaofstartingmyownsmallmarketingfirm.Thethoughtscarestheshit
outofme,butIknowit’dbeagreatinvestmentformyfuture,andthemoreIthinkaboutViolabeing
myfuture,themoreIwanttomakethebestofit.

Icallmymomonmywayhomefromwork,readytotalkaboutthisbusinessopportunity.It’s

beenagoodwaytobondwithouttalkingabouttheelephantintheroom—myfather ’scancer—andif
I’mgoingtovisithimanytimesoon.

Theverdict:undecided.
“Ifyouneedaloanforthestart-upcosts,myofferstillstands,”shetellsmeagain.
“Iknow,Mom,andIappreciatethat.IjustthinkthisissomethingIneedtodomyself.Grown-up

stuff,youknow?”

“Youmaybeatwenty-four-year-oldman,butyou’llalwaysbemylittleboy,Travis.”
Ismileandshakemyhead,eventhoughshecan’tseeme.“Iknow.”
OnceIpullintothedriveway,wesayourgoodbyes,andI’mactuallyrelievedtoseethatDrewis

homealready.It’sbeenoveraweeksinceI’veseenViolaafterhergraduationceremony,andbetween
workandGryff,I’vestayedplentybusy,butIstillmissherlikecrazy.Thingshaven’texactly
smoothedoverbetweenDrewandmeeither.Ihateallthetensionbetweenus,butI’mhopingwecan
resolvethatsoon.Ibetrayedhistrust,andI’mwillingtodowhateverittakestofixthat.Ontheother
hand,I’mworriedViolaandIwillneverbethesameagain.

AssoonasIopenthedoor,Gryffrunstomeandstartslickingmyfaceimmediately.Ipethishead

andbackbeforesettinghimbackdown.

“Who’sagoodboy?”Isayinanembarrassing,high-pitchedtonethatViolaconvincedmehe

liked.HefollowsmeasIwalkfartherinside.

“Hey,man,”IsayasIstepintothekitchen,wherehe’ssteamingvegetables.“Ugh,man.Smells

likeassinhere.”

“Freshvegetables,”heclarifies.“Mealpreppingforthenextweek.”
Drewisasobsessedaboutwhatheeatsasmuchasheisaboutworkingout.Igivehimpropsfor

stickingtoit,butIwoulddieifIcouldn’tbingeeveryonceinawhile.

“Chickenandveggies.Soundsdelicious,”Isaywithamockingtone.HeknowsI’mgivinghim

shit,buthedoesn’tfireback.

“Yougetusedtoit.”
“So,IwasthinkingwithViolaleavingnextweekendthatweshouldsitdownandtalk.Get

everythingoutintheopen,becauseIhatethisawkwardtensionbetweenus.Iwanttotellyou

everythingaboutthatnightandtheactualtruthofevents.Iknowitwon’tchangewhat’salready
happened,butIwantustomoveforward.”

Iwatchashedigestsmywords.Hesprinklesseasoningsovertheveggiesandplacesthelidback

onthepot.Heturnsaroundandfinallylooksatme,uncertaintyetchedalloverhisfeatures,andI
worryaboutwhathe’sabouttosay.

“Violaalreadyleft.”Hiswordshitmelikeatonofbricks,yetIcan’tcomprehendthem.
“Wait,what?”
“Shelefttwodaysago.Bookedanearlierflight.”
Iblink,mymindracingandIcan’tthinkstraight.Shewasn’tsupposedtoleaveuntilnextweekend.
“Why?Youdidn’ttellme.She...”IlosemywordsasIfightbacktheangerthat’sbrewinginside

me.

“Sorry,man.Sheaskedmenottosayanything.Shesaidshehadtoleaveandstartfresh.”Icantell

heknowsthisishittingmehardasherestsahandonmyshoulder.“Wehadtalkedbeforesheleft,and
Iknowthatwhatyoutwohadwasrealandthatyoubothhadstrongfeelingsforeachother,butshe’ll
alwaysmakeherfutureapriorityovereveryoneinherlife.She’salwaysbeenthatway.”

“Iwassupportiveofthat,butwe’dplannedonmetakinghertotheairport,atleast.Ididn’teven

gettosaygoodbye.”

“Idon’tthinksheknewhowtosaygoodbyetoyou.”
Gryffbeginspawingatmyslacks,directingmyattentiondowntohim.IknewshelovedGryffand

would’vewantedtoseehimonelasttime,sothefactthatshejustleftbothofusbehindleavesme
almostspeechless.

“So,Iguessthatmeansshedoesn’twanttotalktomeeither?”Imutter,mostlytomyself,butI

knowDrewheardme.

“Givehersometimetoadjust,andthentryreachingouttoher.Shemightcomearound.You

neverknow,”Drewoffers.

Ihopehe’sright.
Ican’tfathomnottalkingtoherforsixmonths.Butwhatifshemeetssomeoneelseandforgets

aboutuscompletely?

Thefollowingday,Drewisoffwork,andItaketheopportunitytositdownwithhim.Iwantthe
chancetoexplainthatnight,andwhyIkeptthetruthaboutMiaandViolafromhim.Iknowwhat’s
doneisdone,butwehaveahistory,andIcan’tletsomethinglikethisburdenourfriendship.

“So,whatdoyouknow?Orrather,whatalldidMiatellyou?”
“Wehaven’tspokenmuchsincethatnight.She’scalledme,butthereweren’tmanydetails.She

stillclaimsyoumadeamove,strippedherdown,andthenclimbedintothebackseatwithherand
startedmessingaround.”

Icringeathiswords.Themerethoughtofthathappeningsickensme.
“Fuckinghell,Drew,”Imutter,brushingmypalmsalongthethighsofmyjeans.“Inevertouched

her.”

“Ican’tsayI’dbesurprisedifthat’sthetruth.ButMiahasnoreasontolie.”
“Miadoesn’tneedadamnreasontolie,Drew!She’sapsycho!Shewantedtohurtyou,andfor

somereasonwantedtothrowmeunderthebusforherownpersonalamusement.”

“I’mnotsayingIbelievedher.Butconsideringyourhistory,andthenfindingoutyouhookedup

withViola,itjustmadeherstorymorebelievable.”

“Look,IknowI’mfarfromperfect,andIhavemyfairshareoffuckupswhenitcomestochicks,

butIwanttobewithViolaandheronly.WhenIranintoMia,shewaswithanotherguy,andhewas

screaminginherface.Hehitme,man.I’mprettysuremyribswerebrokenbeforetheaccident.Igot
heroutofthere,andshestartedfreakingout,soIpulledoverintoagasstationparkinglot.Itriedto
calmherdown,andthenextthingIknow,she’scomingatme.Ididn’tkissherback,andIguessshe
feltrejectedbecauseshecameupwithsomebullshitliethatItouchedher.”

Drew’ssoakingupmywordsashisexpressiontightens.Iknowhedoesn’twanttohearaboutMia

beingwithanotherguy,anymorethanI’dwanttohearthataboutViola,butheneedstohearthetruth.

“So,how’dsheendupnakedinyourbackseat?”
“OnceIpushedherbackandtoldherIwasinlovewithsomeoneelse,shegotallhysterical.She

wasalreadyfreakingoutaboutthefightatthediner,andwasfeelingsick,andthenextthingIknow
shepukesalloverherself.Igavehermyshirttocleanup,butitwasalloverherdress.Itoldhertolie
downinthebackandsettleherstomach.Ididn’thaveanyblankets,soshejusttookthedressoff.”

HenodsasIfinishthestory.“Idon’trememberanythingafterthat,butIswearonmylifethatI

wouldnevertouchMia.Violaownsmyheart,andI’mprettysureshealwayshas.”

Helooksupandsmilesatme.“Well,youbetterbesuretowinherbackthen.”
“Trustme.Iwon’tstopuntilIdo.”

Overtheweekend,Idriveuptomychildhoodhome.Ididn’tcallandgivemymotheraheads-up
becauseIkeptchangingmymind.ThecloserIgot,themorenervousIfelt.Ihadn’tseenmydadin
years,andIwasn’tsurewhattoexpectnowthathewassick,butIfeltitwassomethingIneededtodo.
Atleastformymom’ssake.

“Travis!”shesquealsthemomentsheopensthedoorandseesme.“Ican’tbelieveyou’rehere!”

Shetakesastepforwardandwrapsherarmsaroundme.

Ismileasshesqueezesmeatadtootight.ShenoticesIwinceandquicklystepsback.“Sorry,I’m

justsoexcitedyou’rehere.”

Shruggingwithaguiltysmile,Isay,“Well,Ifigureditwasfinallytimetocomehome.”
Sheleadsmeinside,andIfollow.Everythinglooksthesame,anditfeelslikeI’mwalking

throughatimecapsulefrommychildhood.Myfatherissittinginthelivingroominthesamechair
he’salwayssatin,usuallywithasix-packandtheremote,butthistimehe’swithamagazineanda
glassoficewater.

“Lookwhocameforavisit,”mymothersays,grabbinghisattentionuptomine.Hisreactionis

clear.He’scompletelyshocked,buthedoesn’tmakethefirstmovetospeak.

“Hi,Dad.”
“Son.”Henods.“Youlookgood.”
“Thanks.”Ifollowmymother ’sleadandsitonthesofaacrossfromhim.“Youdo,too.”Thefirst

thingInoticeaboutmyfatheristhathe’ssober.Ithinkit’sthefirsttimeinmylifeI’veseenhim
sober.

“WishIcouldsayIfeelasgoodasIlook,but...”
“Yeah,Momtoldme.”Ibrushahandovermyjawline.“What’sthediagnosis?”
“Stagefourcancer.”HesaysitascasuallyasifIwereaskinghimabouttheweather.Helookslike

he’sacceptedthetermsofhisdestiny,butwhenIglanceoveratmymotherandseeherfrown,it’s
obviousshehasn’t.Iknowshelovesmyfatherandwillgothroughthiswithhimuntiltheend,butI
wishhehadtreatedherbettertomeritsuchloyalty.

Wespendtheafternoontalkingoverlunch.It’sbeenyearssinceI’vefeltlikeI’vehadafamily,

andeventhoughIstillhavealotofresentmenttowardhim,I’mgladIcame.Iknowmymomis
goingtoneedalotofsupport,whethershewantstoadmititornot.

VIOLA

It’sbeenaweeksinceI’vearrivedinBoston,whichisbeautifulinthesummer,butI’mstill

sufferingfromthejetlag.Thethree-hourtimedifferencehasmessedwithmysleepingschedule,and
I’msoexhausted.I’vebeenstrugglingtowakeuptomyalarmeverymorning.I’vealsobeen
sufferingfromtheseannoyingheadachesandnausea.Ilookeditup,andIguessit’sprettycommonif
youexperiencejetlag,soI’mhopingmybodygetsusedtoitsoon.Eitherthatorthenervesare
wreakinghavoconmyentirebody.

EventextingDreworCourtneyisbecomingachallenge.WhenI’mupandreadyforworkat

eight,they’restillinbedandbarelyfunctioning.I’velearnednottoexpectaresponsefromCourtney
untilmylunchbreak.

Ionlybroughttheessentialswithme,sounpackingwasabreeze.Imanagedtofindafurnished

studioapartment,andwiththecompany’spaymentplan,it’sactuallyaffordable.It’sonlyfourhundred
squarefeet,butit’scuteandworksforme.ThedayafterIarrived,IFaceTimedCourtneyandshowed
heraround.ShenearlygaspedwhenIshowedherthetinybathroom.

“Canyouevenpeeinthere?”SheaskedasIgaveherthetour.Theanswerisyes,butit’snoteasy.

Thedoorhastobeleftopen.Otherwise,mykneeshitthepaneling.

Thekitchenisn’takitchenatall,butratherakitchenettewithatinysink,aminifridge,andaone-

burnerstove.Itdoublesasmybedroom,whichisfinebymesinceI’monlyhometosleeporshower
anyway.ButtheonebonusistherooftopdeckandcommunitygardenIgettouse.

I’vebeenatthefirmfivedaysnow,whichisterrifyingandexcitingallatonce.Myboss,Henry

O’Connor,isextremelyintimidating.Idomostofthebitchwork,butIknowonceIprovemyself,I’ll
beabletohandlesomegroupprojects.

BythetimemydayendsandImakeitbacktomylittleholeofanapartment,it’safterseven.I’m

exhaustedandhungry,andtheonlythingthatkeepsmesaneistalkingtoCourtneythroughouttheday.
Drewchecksinonmeeverycoupleofdays,andIknowhe’sworriedaboutme,butIneedtoproveto
himandmyselfthatI’mcapableofdoingthis.Ilefthomeateighteen,graduatedcollegewithhonors,
andnowI’mreadyforwhatevertherealworldthrowsatme.

C:It’sbeenyearssinceI’vegottenlaid.Myvaginaisstartingtoprune.

ThefirstthingIseewhenIwakeupisatextmessagefromCourtney,fromthenightbefore.I

laughandsendheratextback.

V:Ithasnotbeenyears,andunlessyou’vebeensoakingitinhotwaterformonths,Idoubtit’s
pruney.

Surprisingly,shemessagesmebackbeforeIevenrolloutofbed.

C:Well,itsurefeelslikeyears.Atthispoint,I’dbeluckytoevenrememberhowtodoit.

Isnortatherdramatics.

V:Idon’tknow...Ibetit’sjustlikeridingabike.Yourvagina’sinstinctswillkickinandyou’llbe
dryhumpinginnotime.

C:Noonesaysdryhumpinganymore,Lola.Plus,don’tteasemewiththatshit...youeitherput
outorGTFO.

Buryingmyheadintomypillow,Ilaugh,anditfeelsgood.

V:Ineedtogetreadyforwork.Buyyourselfadildoandgetsomepracticein.Talklater!

OnceI’mhalf-readyandoutthedoor,Ihailacabandfinishmymakeupasweswervearoundthe

traffic.UnionInternationalisrightintheheartofthecity,sotherearealotofplaceswithinwalking
distanceforlunchorcoffee,whichisnice.

TherearefourotherinternsIworkwith,butonlytwoofusworkforMr.O’Connor.Hisnameis

Liam,andhe’sfromMiami.He’sbeensupersweetandhelpfulasI’veadjustedtoeverythingaround
thefirm.

“So,anybigplansforyourfirstofficialweekendhere?”heasksaswestepintotheelevator.
“No,notreally.UnlessyouconsiderFaceTimingmybestfriendandreadingbigplans?”Isay

withaneasylaugh.

“Wellifyourbigplansfallthrough,I’mmeetingupwithsomefriendsforadrinkdowntownif

youfeellikejoining.Here,I’llgiveyoumynumber.”Heholdshishandout,waitingformyphone.

Instinctively,Iunlockitandhanditover.Ifigureitcan’thurttohaveafriendaroundhere,

especiallyifI’mgoingtobehereforsixmonthsorlonger.

“Awesome,thanks,”Isayashehandsitback.
“Itextedmyselffromyourphone,soIhaveyourstoo,justincase.”
Inod,unsureofwhattosay.Idon’twanttoassumehe’shittingonmebecauseIhavenointentions

ofhookingupwithanyonewhileI’mhere,especiallysomeonefromtheoffice.I’vebeenthinking
aboutTravisnonstopsinceIleft.Ifeelguiltyforleavingwithoutsayinggoodbye,butIknewIhadto.
IknewifIsawhim,IwouldrunintohisarmsandnevergetonthatplaneregardlessofhowhurtI
was.Icouldn’tletaguygetinthewayofmyfuture,notafterallthehardworkI’veputinandallthe
goalsI’vesetformyself.Traviswillalwayshavemyheart,butfornow,Ineedtostayfocusedonme.
Ifwehaveanythingworthsaving,itwillbethereinsixmonths.

Theweeksflyby,thehoursblurringintodays,thedaysintoweeks.Liambecomesagoodfriend

andintroducesmetosomeofhislocalbuddies.Heshowsmearoundthebarsandbestseafood
restaurants.Itfeelslikeanotherworldouthere,butI’msoakingupeverythingthisexperiencehasto
offer.

Travistextsmeeveryfewdays.WhenIfirstarrived,wedidn’ttalkfortwoweeks,probably

becausehewashurtIleftwithoutsayinganything.ThenonenighthesentmeapictureofGryff,with
thecaptionWemissyou.IcriedthemomentIsawhissweetlittleface.BeforeIcouldrespond,hesent
asecondpictureofthetwoofthemlyinginhisbed,andTravisstickinghislowerlipoutinasad
pout.Iaboutlostit.Imissedhimsodamnmuch,butIknewIhadtostaystrong.Thiswasgoodfor
me,andIhadtorememberthat.TravisandIwereinacomplicatedsituation,andallIwantedwasto
gettoaneutralplaceagainwhereitstoppedhurting.

So,nowhesendsmepictureupdatesofhowbigGryffisgettingandheaskshowthingsarehere.

Wedon’tsaymuchotherthanthat,whichrightnow,isenoughforus.Iknowwe’llhavealottotalk
aboutwhenIvisitfortheholidays.

Abouthalfwaythroughmyapprenticeship,Icatchsomekindofsummerflu.It’sawful,butIwork
throughituntilI’moffontheweekend.Itdoesn’teaseup,soLiamsurprisesmewithsoupand

crackers.

“Youlookpale,honey,”hesays,placingacold,wetwashclothonmyforehead.“Areyou

hungry?”

Ipressahandtotheclothandshakemyhead.“Notreally.Ijustfeelreallyqueasy.”
“I’llbringyourtrashcanbyyoujustincase.”Iwatchashestandsupandwalksthefewfeettomy

kitchenandgrabsit.He’stallandbuilt.Hehasshaggyblondehair,whichtotallyaddstothesurfer
vibehegivesoutwhenhe’snotinhissuitandtieattire.Heoverdressesforworkandclaimsit’s
goingtohelphimclimbthecorporateladderbeforehe’sthirty.

“Thanks,”Isay,watchingashesetsitdownnexttome.“IthinkI’mjustgoingtotryandsleepit

off.”

“Yeah,goodidea,hon.I’lllayonyourcouchandwaitforyoutowakeupsoyoucaneat.”
“No,”Iargue.“Youdon’thavetositaroundandwaitonme.I’llbeokay.”
“Nonsense.YouneedtogetbettersoIhavesomeonetogosalsadancingwith.”
Iletoutasmalllaugh.“Ineveragreedtothatinthefirstplace.”
Hetiltshisheadandfrowns.
Igroan.“We’llsee.”
Hesmilesandflashesmeawink.“Getsomerest.I’mgoingtobingeonyourNetflix.”
Isleepforthenextthreehours,andwhenIwakeup,it’sdarkoutside,andLiamisstillwatching

TVonmysofa.Hepausesitthemomenthehearsmerustlingunderthecovers.

“Hey.”Hesmiles.“Howdoyoufeel?”
“Better,Ithink.Ineedtopee.”
Helaughsandgoesbacktohisshow.IgrabmyphoneasIwalktothebathroomandseethat

Courtneyhasmessagedmethreetimes.

V:Sorry,Iwassleeping.IthinkIcaughttheflu.

Isendbacktoherurgentmessages.

C:Theflu?Whatareyoursymptoms?

IrespondwitheverythingI’vebeenfeelingthispastweek.

V:Vomiting,nausea,queasiness,headaches,hotflashesandsweats.Liambroughtmesomesoup,
soI’mgoingtotryeatingsomeofthatandseeifithelps.

C:Howlonghaveyoubeensick?

V:Offandonaboutaweekorso.Ithinkit’sgoingaroundwork.

Ireplyback,headingbackouttomybed.

C:Wellunlessit’shomesickness,I’dsayit’spregnancythat’sgoingaroundyouroffice!

V:OMG!Iamnotpregnant!Ihaven’thadsexinmonths!

ThelasttimewaswithTravis,ofcourse.
C:Haveyoumissedyourperiod?

IttakesmeawhiletothinkaboutitbecauseIcan’tremember.WhichIrealizeisnotagoodsign.

I’vebeensobusythatIhaven’tpaidattention.Iopenthecalendaronmyphoneandcountbackthe
daysfromwhenTravisandIweretogether,tothelasttimeIrememberhavingmyperiod.

Threemonthsago.

V:Ican’trememberthelasttimeIhadit...I’vebeenstressedandbusy.ButI’monthepill,soit’s
probablyjusttheflu.

C:Yeah...thefluthatmakesyouskipyourperiodforthreemonthsanddoesn’tgoaway,but
comesandgoes...soundsLEGIT.

Dammit,Courtney!She’stotallymakingmefreakoutrightnow.There’sjustnoway.Iwould’ve

beenabletotellbynow.

V:MybodyalwaysgetsweirdwhenI’mstressedout.Stopjinxingme!

C:LOL!Toolateforthat...gobuyatestandFaceTimeme!

V:IfeelwaytooshittytoleavemyapartmentrightnowandI’mnotaskingLiamtogoona
pregnancytestrun.

ItoldheraboutLiamwhenwefirstmet,andatfirst,shethoughtwewerehookingup,butonceI

toldherIthoughthewasgay,shebackedoff.However,I’mstillnottotallysureaboutthat.

C:Youbetterfindoutquickthen.There’salonglistofstuffyou’llneedtobedoingifyouare...

Isigh,takinginadeepbreath.Ican’tevenfathomthatrightnow.
V:I’llcallyoutomorrow.
“Areyouokay?”Liam’svoicedirectsmyattentionbackuptohim.
Iblinkawaythetearsandsetmyphonedown,needingtoclearmyheadfromtherevelationIjust

had.“Idon’tknow.”

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

TRAVIS

SixMonthsLater...

“Youcansetthecomputersandprinteroverthere,”Isay,directingthedeliverydriversasthey

wheelabighunkofplasticandboxesintothebuilding.Atrandommoments,likerightnow,Ithink
aboutViola.Thoughit’sbeensixmonthssincesheleftforBoston,itseemslikeyesterdayandeach
dayshe’snothereisheartbreakingtorture.Randomlywetextbackandforth,butit’snotthesame.
Honestly,ithasn’tbeensincesheleftwithoutallowingmetoexplainmyselffully.Shetookmyheart
withher,andI’mwaitingforhertopersonallydeliveritbacktome.Tothisday,theonlywomanI
wantistheonewhostolemyheart—ViolaFisher.

SomehowI’vemanagedtostaybusyandputmyfocusongettingmybusinessofftheground.The

signforKingMarketingwillarriveinthenextthirtyminutesandisbeinginstalledontheoutsideof
themodestbuildingIleased.Thesignintheofficethathangsonthewallbehindthereceptiondesk
hasthelogoonit,KingMarketing:Whereyou’retreatedlikeroyalty.IlaughatthememoryofDrew
givingmesomuchshitoverittoo,butnowhesaysIshouldhavethelogoprintedont-shirtssohe
canproudlywearit.

AsIstandbackandlookatthereceptiondeskandtheopenofficespace,Ithinkabouthowproud

ViolaisthatIreallydidit;Istartedmyownbusiness.Idon’tburdenherwithallthedetails,knowing
she’sstayingplentybusyrightnow,butIknowDrewiskeepingherup-to-date.Withtheholidays
approaching,thegrandopeningandscissorcuttingceremonyisn’tuntilafterthenewyear.I’ve
invitedcommunityleaders,potentialclients,andeventhemayor,buttheonlypersonIwanttobe
thereisher.

AsIlookaround,IrememberhowempoweringitwastoleaveCrawfordMarketingfivemonths

ago.TheaccidentandViolaleavingwasthewake-upcallIneeded.Goingaftermydreamsisscaryas
fuck,buttherewardissomuchgreaterthantherisk,andsofarIhaven’tregrettedmydecision.Inow
laughatthedayItookcontrolofmycareerandgaveCrawfordMarketingthehypotheticalmiddle
finger.Blakewasreamingmyass,asusual,somethingaboutnotusingtimestampsonprinted
documents,anditalljustclicked.TherewasnowayIcouldstaythereanylonger—notwiththe
tension,thelies,andthewholecorporatevibe.

AsBlakecontinuedtoshoutatme,Istoodupandstartedgrabbingsmallitemsoffmydeskand

tossingthemintomybriefcase.Hewassofaruphisownass;hedidn’tevenrealizewhatIwasdoing.
Afteraskinghimifhewasdone,Itoldhim‘Iquit.’Hilariously,hetoldmeIcouldn’tquitand
demandedIgetmyassbacktomydesk.Ilaughedinhisfaceandwalkedoutofmyofficewithout
lookingback.AllthestressthatmiserablejobcausedinstantlydisappearedwhenItookmyfinalstep
outthedoor.IwishedIwouldhavedoneitsooner.

ThefollowingdayIwroteoutmybusinessplanandcontinuedtopushforwardonopeningmy

ownmarketingfirm.AsreadyasIam,andknowingI’vegivenitmyall,I’mstillnervousasfuck
becausefailingisnotanoption.

Oncethecomputersandprinteraresetup,IrealizeIshould’vehiredanITpersontomakesure

thenetworkingisinstalledcorrectly.RememberingViolamentioningCourtneybeingacomputer
genius,whichstillshockstheshitoutofme,IdecidetoaskDrewforhernumber.

T:Hey,doyouhaveCourtney’snumberbychance?
D:Who?

T:Courtney.Hasthehotsforyou.Viola’scrazyblondefriend.Usuallyparadingaroundin
cowgirlbootsandredlipstick.

D:Thanksforsuchavividpicture.No,Idon’t,butI’llaskViolaforit.

Hesendsitbacktomeinunderaminute.I’msureViolawasmorethanwillingtogiveittohim,

probablybecauseshethinksDrewwantstoaskCourtneyonadateorsomething.Itactuallymakesme
laugh.Iwould’vetextedViolaandaskedmyself,butourconversationshaven’tbeenanythingmore
thansmalltalkorpicturesofGryff.Shetextsmeaboutherjobdutiesandherfriend,Liam.Sheposts
picturesofthemtogetheronInstagram,anditdrivesmeinsanethatshe’sspendingsomuchtimewith
him,eventhoughsheswearsthey’reonlyfriends.

Idon’ttellherhowmuchithurtstohavehergoneornottoknowwherewestand.Idon’ttellher

itfeelsasifwe’reinlimbo,andIhavenoideaifshe’llevermovebackorifwe’lleverbeanus
again.Idon’ttellheranyofthosethingsbecauseIfearit’llscareherawayforever.

AlthoughI’vegivenherthespaceshe’sclearlyaskedfor,it’skillingmeinside.Iwanttobegher

tocomebacktome,tellherIneedher,andthateverydaysinceshe’sbeengonehasbeentheworst
dayofmylife.ButIknowthatisn’tfairtoher.She’sworkedsohardforthisopportunity,andIcan’t
betheonetogetinthewayofit.Iknowshe’smakingalifeinBoston,andalthoughitstillpainsme
toknowshedoesn’ttrustme,I’mnotgivinguponus.I’llnevergiveuponusandwilldowhateverit
takestogainhertrustback.Iknowshe’llbehomesoonfortheholidays,andthat’llbemychanceto
layitalloutforher.Shewon’tleaveagainwithoutknowingexactlywhereIstand.

UnionInternationalwillmorethanlikelyofferherafull-timeposition;theywouldbeidiotsnot

to,butit’llbeherdecisiontoacceptordecline.

Theselfishpartofmehopesshehatesthesnowasmuchasshehatestherainandwillcomeback

tosunnyCaliforniawithoutasecondthought.

Theloudsoundofatruckenteringtheparkinglotdirectsmyattentionoutthewindow,andIsee

thesigninstallershavearrived.Istandoutsideastheyusealifttoattachthesigntotheoutsideofthe
building,andI’msodamnexcitedaboutit.IsnapapictureandsendittoViolawiththemessage:It’s
reallyhappening.

V:That’samazing!I’msoproudofyou:)
Herwordsmeantheworldtome.

T:Thankyou,princess.Ihopeyou’llstillbeintownforthescissor-cuttingceremony.I’dloveto
haveyouthere.

Shedoesn’trespond,andIknowI’vepushedtoofar.Ifweweren’tthreethousandmilesapart,I

knowourrelationship—orwhateverthehellyouwanttocallit—wouldbeinacompletelydifferent
place.ItrytobecautiouswhentellingherhowmuchImissher,butsometimesIslipup,whichthrows
awreckingballintotheconversation.Myfeelingshaven’tchanged,regardlessofthetimethat’s
passed,andI’mprettysureI’vemadethatclear.

Oncethesignisinstalled,Idecidetolockupforthenightandheadhome.It’sbeenalong-assday,

andthenexttwoweeksaregoingtobeevenmorehecticwithinterviewsandpre-booking
appointmentswithpotentialclients.

AssoonasIwalkintothehouse,Gryffisatmyfeet,barkingandjumpingalloverme.He’sso

fuckinghappytoseemeeverydaythatitputsahugesmileonmyface.Iopenthefrontdoorand
allowhimtorunoutside.Wehaveadailyroutinenow.EverynightafterIcomehome,Ilethimout,
andherunsaroundtheyard.Thenhechasestheneighbor'scat,andIhopehenevercatchesit.Once
he’sdone,herushesinside,andIfeedhimhistreatsandstockhiswaterandfooddishes.He’sa
spoiledlittleshit,andI’mprettysureI’mthetrainedoneinsteadofhim.

Aftertakingashower,Irelaxonthecouch,andGryffliesdownnexttome.Heplaceshisheadon

mylapasIwatchthenewsandsuddenlyrememberIforgottotextCourtney.

T:Hey.It’sTravisKing.
Howoriginal.Irollmyeyesatmyself.Idon’tknowwhyI’mnervous.

C:THETravisKing?TowhatdoIowethishonor?

Shedoesn’tevenaskhowIgothernumberorshedoesn’tcare.Eitherway,I’mreadytomakea

dealwithher.

T:Ihaveabusinesspropositionforyou.

C:Dependswhatitis.Imightbetoobusygettingmynailsandhairdone.

T:Waytoliveuptothecliché.

C:Waytobeanasshole.

T:Well,itismyspecialty.

C:Allright,King.Gettothepoint.

T:Iheardyou’regoodattechshit,andIneedhelpwithsettingupthenewcomputersatmy
officewithournetworkandinstallingthefirewallandallofthatstuff.Ipaywell.

Ittakesheralongtimetorespond,andIstartwonderingifaskingherwasabadidea.

C:Thatdepends.Canyougetmeadatewithyourstudbestfriend?
T:I’dtrybutIhaveafeelinghe’sagainstprostitution.
C:Youdon’tknowuntilyouask!

I’mnotevensurewhattosayback.WhoringoutDrewwouldbethecheapestwaytogetthisdone,

butmaybenotthemostethical.Ilaughbecauseshedoesn’tseemtohaveanyfiltersaboutthis.Before
Icanrespond,shesendsanothertext.

C:Geez.I’mjustkidding!You’renofuntomesswithifyoudon’ttakethebait.Sowhattimeand
where?

T:Tomorrowaround11?I’lltextyoutheaddress.

C:Yougotit,boss!

Igroan.

T:Don’tmakemeregretthis.

C:Ialreadydo.

Ilaughandshakemyhead.Ireallyhopesheknowswhatshe’sdoing.IfIdidn’twitnessher

graduatingwithhonors,I’mnotsureIwould’veeverbelievedshewasalittlegeniusbecauseshe
doesn’tputoffthatnerdy,smartgirlvibe.Heraccent,blondehair,andblueeyesgiveheraSouthern
bellevibebutmixedwithsororitygirlgonewild.She’scompletelyoppositefromViolainalmost
everyway,butmaybethat’swhytheygetalongsowell.

Atleastnow,I’mabletorelaxalittle,knowingthatpartofthebusinesswillbetakencareof

—hopefully.

Hourslater,Drewcomeshomeinhisgymclotheswithhisuniformthrownoverhisshoulder.He

lookslikehe’shadadayfromhellandwhenhecracksopenabeerbeforehedoesanythingelse,it’s
confirmed.

“Wannatalkaboutit?”Iaskhimashesitsdownonthecouchandstartsmindlesslyflipping

throughthechannels.

“I’mprettysureI’mnevergoingtogetoverMia.”
Ihatehearinghernameonhislips,andIhateseeinghimsodistraught.It’sbeenmonthssincethe

bigblowout,andshestillmanagestostringhimalonglikeaplaything.He’saddictedtoher,and
regardlessofwhatwealltellhim,hecan’tlethergo.

IthinkbacktoCourtney’stextmessage,andanevilgrinspreadsacrossmyface.
“Howwouldyouliketodomeahugefavor?”
Hechugshisbeeruntilit’sempty.
“What’sthat?”
“BringlunchforCourtneytomorrow,atthefirm,aroundelevenish?”
Hegivesmeapointedlook.“Yourfavorsaredangerous,King.”
Ithrowmyheadbackandlaughbecauseit’strue.AllofViola’sandmyrekindlingstartedwitha

singlefavor—alunchfavor,actually.

“You’rebeingweird,”hesays.
“Ifyouwearyourcopuniform,Imightbeabletogethertoinstallthesoftwareonallofthe

computersIhaddeliveredtodayforfree.”

Nowhe’stheonelaughing.“I’mnotgoingtobeyourstripper!”
“Whynot?I’msureshe’llkeepherhandstoherself.”Ismirkbecausewebothknowthat’salie.

Hegivesmealook.

“Itwillbegoodforyou.Idon’tknowwhatshelikestoeat,butI’msureViolaknows.Please?”
“Maybe,”hesays,andIfeelprettygoodaboutmyopenattempttoplaymatchmaker.

Inthemorning,Iworkout,thengostraighttotheofficeandtrytoreadthroughdiagramsforthese
damncomputers.Ican’tcomprehendthenonsense.Rightbeforeeleven,Courtneypullsupinher
Jeep,musicblaring.She’swearingthiscrazydresswithbigpolkadots,andherhairispulledupinto
atight,highponytail.Iwatchherreachoverandgrababrightpinktoolkitwithhername

embroideredontheoutside.Ittakeseverythinginsidemenottoburstoutlaughing.Sheseesme
inside,givesmeabigwave,andthenswingsopenthedoorlikesheownstheplace.

“Whoa!Appleproducts.Nicework,King.”HereyeswidenwhensheseesthelargeiMacslined

againstthedesksalongthewall.Shedropstheheavybagdownonthefrontcounterwheremy
secretarywillsit—assoonasIhireone.Shit,Ihavesomuchtodo.

“Yeah.Onlythebest.”Ismileproudly.
“Agreed.So,whatchagot?”
IhandheraboxofcordsandCDswithasmile.“Canyouhelpmeinstallallofthisandgetthe

routerandnetworksetup,soit’sprotected?”

Shepuckersherlipsandgivesaplayfuleyeroll.“Duh.”
Immediatelyshestartswiringeverythingtogether,insertingdiscsandclickingthroughthings

quickly,likeshe’sgotallthestepsmemorized.Beforefinishing,sheneatlyzip-tiesallthecords,so
theylooknice.

“You’regoodtogo.”Sheslapsherhandstogetherwithasmile.
Isitdownatoneofthecomputersandseethewirelessnetworkinthetopright-handcorner.
“Oh,Isetupashareddriveforeveryone,too.Youknow,justincaseyouwantedthat.”Shewinks.
Ididn’tevenaskforthat,butitwillbehelpfulduringstart-uptostayonthesamepagewithmy

employees.Myeyeswiden.Shit,shereallyisagenius.BeforeIcaneventellherthankyou,asquad
carpullsupinfrontofthebuilding.Courtneyseesmestaringbehindherwithasmile,andsheturns
andcatchessightofDrew.Nowhereyesaretheonesthatarewide.Shetucksloosestrandsofhair
behindherearsandsitsonthedeskwithherlonglegscrossed.

Drewwalksinwithabagfromthelocaldeliandabottleoffancylookingwater.I’mprettysureI

sawdrooldripdownherchin,butIdon’tdaresayaword.

“Ms.Bishop?”
Courtney’smouthfallsopen.Drewisfuckingworkingthis.I’msoproudofhimforsteppingout

ofhiscomfortzonebecauseIknowhowhardthisisforhim.Heignoreseverygirlthatbatsalashhis
way,especiallyCourtney.Butshedeservesatrophyfortrying.

Shestandsandputsherhandoverherheart.
“Thosedamnhandcuffs,”shesaysunderherbreathandthenrealizesIheardher.Sheglaresatmy

snicker,andIshrug.

“Iwastoldyourfavoritelunchisachickenwrapandpurecoconutwater,”Drewsays.
“Wait,what?”She’sjustasshockedasIamthathebroughtherlunch.
Hehandsherthebag,andshetakesitwithahugesmileonherface.Thismightbethemost

attentionhe’sgivenher—ever.Hisradiogoesoff,andheanswersbackquickly.

“Hopeyouenjoyit,”hetellsherandthenturnsaroundandleaves.
Courtneyleansagainstthewallandsighs.She’ssodamndramatic.
“Oh,myGod,Travis!Areyoutryingtokillme?”
Icannolongerholdbackmylaughter.“No,Ineedyourhelp!”
“I’lldoit.Iacceptyouroffer.”
“What?”I’mconfused.
“Justtellmewhenweopen,andI’llbehere.EspeciallyifyoucanpaymeinglimpsesofDrewin

thatuniform.”

VIOLA

UnionInternationalofferedmeagreatsalary,adecent-sizedoffice,andapositionIonlydreamed

ofhavingsixmonthsago.Consideringmycurrentsituation,myonlyoptionwastodecline,ashard
asitwastosayno.Theyevencounteroffered,givingmeatwentypercentpayincrease,butitwasn’t
enoughtokeepmegroundedinBoston.IpackedmystuffandshippedittoCourtneysinceI’llbe
stayingwithheruntilIfindaplaceofmyown.Thelastfewmonthshavebeen...well...interesting.

DrewandCourtneybothknowI’mnotreturningtoBostononceIleave,butIhaven’tfoundthe

couragetotellTravisyet.He’llfindoutsoonenoughandwhenIdon’tleaveaftertheholidaysare
overit’llbeadeadgiveaway.IbeggedthemnottosayawordbecauseIwanttobetheonetotellhim.
Ihavetobe.Wehavealottotalkabout,butthetruthis,I’mnotsurewhattosaytohimorwhereto
evenbegin.Justthinkingaboutitgivesmeananxietyattack.

Ishovemycarry-onintheoverheadcompartmentoftheplaneandslidethewindowcoveropen,

peeringoutintothedistance.Soonwetakeoffoverablanketofwhitefog,andasnervousasIamto
bereturningbacktoCali,I’mhappytobeleavingBostonandallthedamnsnow.

AstheplanelandsinCalifornia,Ifeelalittleridiculouswearingabaggysweaterandsomany

layers.Irollmysleevesuptomyelbowsandpatientlywaitwhilewedeplane.Iwascold,butnowI’m
sweating.Freakinghormones.AlumpformsinmythroatwhenIopenmytextmessagesandsee
Courtneyisalreadywaitingforme.Thisishappening.I’mreallyhome.

AfterIpee,Iwheelmysuitcasethroughtheairport,tryingtofindjustasliverofcourage.Iwalk

throughthedoubledoors,andCourtneyisleaningagainstherJeepwithabig,goofysmileonher
face.Shetakesoffrunninginhighheelsandgivesmeabighug.

“Oh,myGod,Mama!Lookatyou!”Shesquealsandpatsmytummy.I’msohappyshe’sexcited

aboutthispregnancy,becauseI’mstillnotsurehowtofeel,butI’vefeltlikethatsincethedayIfound
out.

ThoughIfeltlikedeath,IUberedtothenearestpharmacy.Theguywhodrovemeacrosstown

lookedatmelikeIhadtheplagueandI’msurewhenIsteppedoutofhiscarhesprayeddisinfectant
allovertheseats.Iwalkedinside,andstaredatthepregnancytests,pickingupatwo-pack,which
claimstobe99.9%accurate.I’veneverhadtotakeone,andIalmostfindithilariousthatit’scometo
thispoint.CourtneyisthreethousandmilesawaybuthasmesoworkedupIhavetoknowforsure.I’m
prettyconfidentit’savirus.I’vehadtheflubefore.Iknowthesymptoms,andIfeellikedeath—totally
theflu.

WhenIgrabthecardboardbox,Ifeelridiculous.Allthewaytothecounter,IkeeprepeatinghowI

can’tbepregnant.Birthcontrol.Ididn’tmissapill.Notone.Itakeacabbacktomystudioapartment
andsomehowfindthestrengthtoclimbthestairs.IreadtheinstructionsatleasttentimesbeforeI
takethestickoutandpeeonit,andthenIwait.Almostimmediatelytwopinklinesappear.

No,no,no.
Itaketheotherpregnancytestoutofthewrapperandpeeonit,too.
Thefirstonehadtobewrong.Thiscouldnotbehappening,notnow,notwhenI’matthebeginning

ofmycareerandsofarawayfromeveryoneIlove.Justasfastastheotherone,twopinklines.

Isitonthetoiletandstareatitinshock.I’mnotevensurewhattodoorsay.ImmediatelyIcall

Courtney,crying.

“Oh,myGod,Lola.What’swrong?Iseverythingokay?”
“Court.”Isittherealongtimeinsilenceastearsstreamdownmyface.
“Lola?You’refreakingmeout.”
“I’m...”Icouldn’tevensaythewords.
Shepatsmybellyandbringsmebacktoreality.IgulpthinkingabouthowlostIfeltwhenItold

her,butshewasthereforme.Idon’tbelievetherewasatimewhenshewasn’t.

“So,Iguessthissweaterdidn’tcoverupthisbump?”Ilookdownandlaugh.

“Imeanforthemostpart,butit’sstilltotallyobvious.”
“Couldn’tyouhavejustlied?”Ismile,butIthoughtI’dbeabletofaceDrewwithouthiminstantly

knowing.It’ssohardtorecognizethechangeinmyself,butIthoughtitwasn’tthatnoticeablewith
oversizedclothes.WhothehellamItryingtofool?Everyone.

“Icannotwaittogoshopping.Cutelittleclothesandhatsandshoes.ILOVEBABIES!”She’s

talkingsoloud,hervoiceechoesthroughtheparkinggarage.Shegrabsmysuitcaseandthrowsit
intothebackoftheJeepandslamsherfootonthegasasusual.Ishootheralook,andsheslows
down.“Sorry,Iforgottherewasababyonboard.”

Igrinather.“So,howwasyourwrapandcoconutwater?”
Drewtextedmeandtoldmewhatwasgoingon,thatTravisaskedforafavor,andI’mhappyhe

consideredCourtneyandloopedDrewinonit.She’sthebestofthebestandcanhelphimwith
anythingheneeds.

“I’msohappyyou’rehomeandthatyou’refinallygoingtobemyroommate,”shesaysasshe

parksoutsideofherplace.Wehadtalkedaboutlivingtogethersomanydifferenttimesincollege,but
afterbeingacceptedintothecommondorms,itwasaloteasiertomovemystuffacrosscampusand
nothavetoworryaboutpayingrent.

“So,Igotajob,”Courtneysays,wheelingmysuitcaseacrossthepavementtoherapartment.
“Really?”
“Well,IkindoftoldTravisIwasgoingtoworkforhim.”Sheburstsoutlaughing,andIcan’thelp

butlaugh,too.

“Seriously?Whatdidhesay?”God,Imisshim.
“HelookedatmelikeIhadlostmydamnmind.”
Iknowthatlookwell.
“Haveyou?”Wewalkinside,andIseemyboxeswaitingformeinthelivingroom.
“Yeah,probablyalittlebit.Butmydadsaidnomorefreeloading.EitherIgetajobormoveback

toTexasandworkontheranch.Howclichéisthat?”Shewrinkleshernoseandmakesaface.“And
webothknowIwouldn’tsurviveonedayofhavingdirtundermyfingernailsorsweating.”She
cringes.

“Oh,sweetbabyJesus.”
“Iknow,right?I’mnotgoingbacktoTexas.Noway.Notwithyourhotbrothershowingupand

bringingmelunch.Andwithmebecominganauntandall.”

Ishakemyheadather.“Well,ifTravisgoesforit,youtotallyshould.He’sdealtwithenoughshit

fromthecorporateworld,thatI’msurehe’lltreathisemployeeslikegold.ButhonestlyCourt,it’s
marketing.Youhatedmarketing.”

Shelaughs.“Becauseitwasboring!Youhavetoadmititwasboring.”
“Youhaveapoint.”Isitonthecouchandpropupmyswollenfeet.“Oh,myGod!”
Shestandsupandwalkstowardme.“What,areyouokay?”
Ilookupather,shocked.“Yeah.Ijustfeltthebabykickforthefirsttime.”
“BabyTraviolalovesme!”Shesitsnexttomeandplacesherhandonmystomach,andthebaby

kicksagain.It’soneoftheweirdestsensationsandmakesthisimpendingmotherhoodthingfeelvery
realallofasudden.

“Haveyoutoldanyoneelseyet?”Shesearchesmyface.
Ishakemyhead.“Notyet.I’mnotevensurewhattosay.”
“Honestly,I’msureyouwon’thavetosayanything.”Shegivesmeasmilethenglancesdownat

mytummy.

“Oh,shutit.I’msonervous,Court.I’mreallyscaredtotellDrew.I’mworriedtotellTravisand

myparents.Ifeellost.WhatifDrewhatesme?WhatifTraviswritesmeoff?Whatifmyparents

makemefeelguilty?”

Shegivesmeahug.“What-ifsdon’tmeanshit.Andnomatterwhat,it’sgoingtobeokay.No

one'sreactionswillchangethefactthatyou’regoingtohaveasweetlittlebaby.Everyonewillhaveto
acceptit.You’regoingtobethebestmomontheplanet,andI’mgoingtobetheworld’snumberone
aunt.Andyouknowifyouneedanything,I’mhere.Okay?Always.”

Inod,andshegivesmeatighthug.SometimesCourtneyiscompletelyridiculous,butIlovethe

factthatshe’salwaysonmyteam,rootingforme,nomatterwhat.

Onawhim,IpickupmyphoneandtextDrewbecausethetimeforhimtoknowisnow.Ican’t

hidethisanylonger.

V:I’mhome.Stillupforicecream?
D:Yeah,givemeanhour?
V:Yep!
Mynerveskickintooverdrive.
IglanceatCourtney.“WanttodrivemetoSugars,soIcantellDrewthebignews?”
Sheliftsbothofhereyebrows.“Areyousure?Atanicecreamshop?”
“Hewon’tmakeasceneinapublicplace.”Ilaugh,butit’strue.
“You’reevil.”
Timepassesquickly.Courtneyreluctantlydropsmeoff,andwhileIwait,Iordertwoscoopsof

strawberryicecreamandsitinasecludedboothinthecorneroftheroom.Igetlostinmyphone,and
onlylookupwhenIseeDrewwalkingtowardmewithascoopofchocolate.Iwassointothisnew
bookthatIdidn’tevenseehimcomeinorevenorder.Assoonasheseesme,hesmiles.

“Vi,youlookgood!Theextrawinterweightsuitsyou,”hesays,grabbingmyspoonandhelping

himselftomyicecreamthatI’vebarelytouched.

Ifurrowmybrows.
“Youtoo,ass.”Iglareathim.Hestopsshovingtheicecreaminhismouth,andIlaugh.Forthe

nextthirtyminutes,Drewcatchesmeuponworkandourparents.HetalksaboutTravisandthe
businessandevenmentionsGryff.Onepersonhedoesn’tdaretalkaboutisMia,becauseheknows
better,andconsideringmyhormones,Imightlosemyshitoverstrawberryicecream.Itseemsasif
alloftheirliveshavegoneonwithoutme,andIfeellikeI’vemissedsomuch.Myheartisracing,and
Itrytofindtherightplacetotellhimthenews.Afterhecomplainsaboutthecold,Ijustblurtitout.

“I’mpregnant.”
Atfirst,hedoesn’tstoptalking,andIthinkhedoesn'thearme,soIrepeatmyself.
“I’mpregnant,Drew.”
Hismouthdropsopen,andhesitsthereandstaresatmelikeIslappedhimacrosstheface.I’m

thankfulthere’snooneelseintherestaurant.

“You’regoingtobeanuncle.”
Thefactthathe’snotsayinganythingisstressingmeout.Iknowit’salottotakein,soIsitthere

andwaitforhimtospeak.Timeslipsthroughmyfingers,andIcovermyfacewithmyhandsbecause
Ifeelthetearswellingonthebrimsofmyeyes.Gentlyhepullsmyhandsawaysohecansearchmy
face.

“I’mgoingtobeanuncle?”Hesoundsandlooksshocked.
Inod.
“Whoisthe...”
“Oh,myGod,Drew.Whodoyouthink?Idon’tsleeparound.”
Hiseyeswidenasheconnectsthedots,andIwanttoknowwhathe’sthinking.Wesitthere,staring

ateachother,andIwishCourtneywouldjustwalkinandsaysomethingthatmakesmelaugh.My
heartisbeatingsofastIcanfeelthepulserockthroughmybody.

Drewfinallygivesmeasmile,anditallowsmetorelaxjustabit.“DoesTravisknow?”
Ishakemyhead.“Notyet,butI’mgoingtotellhimassoonaspossible.”
“Yeah,heneedstoknowhe’sgoingtobeadad.”
Iswallowhard.“Rememberthatfavoryouoweme?”
“HowcouldIforget?”Drewsays.
“CanyouhelpmetellMomandDad?”

CHAPTERSIXTEEN

TRAVIS

AsI’mleavingthehousetoheadtotheoffice,IseeapackagefromFedExsittingagainstthedoor.
Confused,Ipickitupandrealizeit’sthesurprisebirthdaygiftImailedtoBostonforViola.Sinceher
birthdayisonlyafewdaysaway,IthoughtI’dsendhersomethingnice—apairofdiamondearrings
tomatchtheheartnecklaceIgaveherwhenwewerekids.Itreallyfuckinghurtsmyhearttoseethe
boxsittingatmyfeet.

IpickitupandwalkbackinsideasIsendheratext.
T:Refusingmypackagesnow?
Hertextbubbleinstantlypopsup.

V:Huh?
T:Imailedyouapackageforyourbirthdayandit’sbeenreturned.

Shedoesn’treplyasquickly,butonceshefinallydoes,I’mfloored.
V:It’sbecauseI’mbackhome.
Ireadthetextagain,anditconfusesme.Whatthehell?Shewasn’tcominghomeuntilcloserto

ChristmaslastIheard.

T:What?You’rehererightnow?You’reearly.
Iwishshewould’vetoldmeassoonasshelanded,andIknowI’mprobablynotatthetopofher

list,butfuck,I’llfightmywaybacktothetop.Still,forsomereason,IthoughtI’dbethefirstto
know.

V:Yeah,I’mherepermanently.Canwetalksoon?

Permanently?

T:Youtellmethetimeandplace,andI’llbethere,princess.

IpickuptheFedExpackageandsetitonthecounter,wonderingifit’stooearlytostartdrinking.I

hadn’texpectedViolatobehomealready,andnowtohearshe’snotgoingbackisasweetsurprise.
Honestly,I’munsureofhowIshouldfeelrightnow.Apartofmeisthrilledtofuckingdeaththat
Violaishere,butanotherpartofmeisanxious.Whatdoesthismeanexactly?Iwishitmeantthat
we’dhaveanotherchancetobetogether,butthat’sadangerousgametobeplaying.Ontheother
hand,justthethoughtofherbeinghereputsahugesmileonmyface.Everydaysincesheleft,I’ve
wishedshe’dcomebacktoCali—comebacktome—andnowshehas.

DrewwakesupanddragshisassintothekitchenandfurrowshisbrowsatthesmileI’mwearing.

Ican’thelpit.

“Didyouwinthelotteryorsomething?”heasks.
“Violaishome!Didyouknow?”

Hegivesmeanervoussmile,butItrytoignoreit.“Yeah,sheaskedmenottosayanything.”
Idon’tevencomment,becauseitwasthesamewordsI’dsaidtohimwheneverwetalkedabout

Violaandme.Shehadaskedmenottosayanythinguntilshewasready,andIdidn’t.

Drewtakesthecartonofmilkoutofthefridgeanddrinksitstraightfromthejug.
“Pleasetellmeyoudon’tdothatallthetime,”Isay,disapproving.
“Havebeenforaboutsixyears.”Drewchucklesandrubshisface.“Ididn’tsleepverywelllast

night.”

“Sorry,thatsucks.”Workmustbestressinghimoutagain.Hegoesthroughthesecycleswhere

everythingisgreat,thensomedayshe’ssostressed,Iknowtostayoutofhisway.

“Ifyouonlyknew.”Hepauses.“Well,youmighteventually,”hemuttersunderhisbreath,butI

don’tgiveitasecondthought.Afterheyawns,heheadsbacktohisroom.Ibrushoffhisweirdness
andripopentheFedExboxtopulloutthegiftboxwrappedinsilverpaperandtakeitwithmetothe
office.Ihavemyfirstinterviewwithaprospectiveemployeetoday,whichmakesmerealizethisis
reallyhappening.I’vealwaysheardthatwhenapersonfindsajobtheytrulylove,itwillneverfeel
likework.EachdayIseemynameonthesign,Iunderstandthatsayingmore.Myname,my
reputation,mymoneyisallontheline,andthecloserwegettoopening,themorenervousIbecome,
butIlovetheanticipation.

BeforeIunlockthedoortothefirm,IreceiveanothertextfromViola.
V:CanyoumeetmeatCourtney’s?
Sheattachestheaddress.
T:I’llbethereassoonasIcan.
Afteranhourofaninterviewfromhell,Ilockup.I’manxiousandnervousasfucktoseeher

again.It’sbeensolongsinceI’veseenher,Ijustwanttowrapherinmyarmsandkisstheshitoutof
her.Iwanttoforgeteverythingthathappenedinourpastandbeghertogiveusasecondchance.Not
knowingwhattoexpectorwhatshe’llsaymakesmethemostanxious.Therearesomanydifferent
thingsshecouldsay.TheunknownsuffocatesmeallthewaytoCourtney’splace.

There’sslow-movingtrafficonthebridge,andIwaitatleasthalfanhourforthemtocleanupan

accident.AtleastitgivesmetimetorunthrougheverythingIwanttosaytoher.There’ssomuchI
needtosay;it’sjustfindingtherightwordsthatmakeitnerve-wracking.IknowI’vefuckedupso
manytimesovertheyears,andIhavetotakeherbeingbackinCaliforniaasifI’vebeengiven
anotherchance.Irefusetofuckthisupagain.Truthbeknown,shemighthavetoputarestraining
orderonmetokeepmeaway.

OnceIpullupnexttoCourtney’sJeep,mynervestakeover.Irubmyhandovermyfaceandtake

inadeepbreathbeforeIgrabthegiftandgetout.ItwillbethefirsttimeI’veseenhersinceher
graduation.AssoonasIheaddownthesidewalk,IseeCourtneygettingreadytolockthedoor.
Walkingalittlefaster,sheseesmeandwaits.

“She’sasleep,”shewhispers.
“ShouldIcomebacklater?”Iask.
“No,thetimechangehasmessedwithher.I’msureshe’llbeupsoon.”Sheopensthedoor,and

whenIstepin,shewavesgoodbyeandclosesitbehindher.

Istandthereforamoment,watchingViolasleeponthecouch,snuggledwithablanketaroundher

body.Shelookssopeacefulandbeautiful,andit’shardformetonotimmediatelygotoher,pullher
inmyarms,andtellherI’mneverlettinghergoagain.

Isitinthechairnexttothecouchandwaitforher.Shelookswaytoocomfortableformeto

interrupthersleep.Tenminuteslater,shestirs,andhereyesflutteropen.

“Travis?”Shelooksconfused.
“Yeah,princess.”

“Whydidn’tyouwakemeup?Howlonghaveyoubeenhere?”
“Longenoughtoknowyou’reexhausted.Icancomebacklater,ifyouwant.”
“No,that’sokay.”Shesitsupandpullstheblanketoverherarmsandcrossesherlegs.After

puttingonherglasses,shetuckshairbehindherearsandnervouslysmiles.Hercheeksarerosy,and
shelooksasifshe’sglowing.Fuck,I’vemissedhersodamnmuch,andIhopewhatshehastosayto
meisn’tbadnews.

“So...”shesays.Andit’simmediatelyawkward,butIdon’twantittobe.
“So,”Iechoherwords.Ihatethatthere’sabigelephantintheroom,andIjustwanttogetitallout

sowecangetoveritandmoveon.

Shetucksherbottomlipintohermouthandtakesinadeepbreath.“I’mreallysorryforleaving

withoutsayinggoodbye.I’msosorry.YouhavenoideahowmuchithurtmetoknowthatIhurtyou.
Idon’tthinkIwould’veeverleft,eventhoughIwaspissedatyouifIdidn’tleaverightthen.IknowI
wouldn’thavebeenabletogo.”

Fuck,herwordsarelikemusictomyears,andIfeelallthetensionfrommybodybegintomelt

away.“Youwerehurt,too,princess.Iunderstandwhyyoudidit.You’reherenow,sowhocares?
Okay?We’vebothmademistakes,andI’msorryforeverhurtingyou.”

Afterfindingoutsheleft,Iwasupsetwithherfordays,andtheemptinessneversubsided.

Heartbreakfeelslikegrieving,andknowingIputherthroughthatcountlesstimesovertheyears
mademefeellikeIdeservedit.ButIforgavehermonthsago.

Violagivesmeasmallsmile,andIcan’tbarethegapbetweenusanylonger.Istandandmoveto

thecouch,closertoher.

“I’vemissedyousodamnmuch,”Iwhisper.Theclosenessofherbodycausesmyheartrateto

increase.We’renotevencloseenoughtotouch,butit’stheclosestwe’vebeeninhalfayear.

“I’vemissedyou,too.AndGryff.He’sstillsocute.He’sgrowinguptoofast.”
“He’sourbaby,”Isaywithalaugh,butshedoesn’tsmilelikeIhopedshewould.
Icantellshe’supsetaboutsomething,andallIwanttodoispullherintomyarms,butIwon’t

crossthatlineuntilshe’sready.Iwon’trushthis.“Iseverythingokay?”

Sheshakesherhead,andthesmilefadesfrommyface.Thismeetingisbeginningtofeelall

wrong.“Youcantellmeanything,Viola.Youknowthat,right?I’mnotupsetwithyou,princess.”

Shenods.
Myheartraces,andIfeellikeI’mlosingheralloveragain.Insteadofwaitingforhertotellme

what’sgoingon,Ijuststartrambling,hopingshewillopenuptome.

“Areyouseeingsomeoneelse?”Iask.That’dbetheworstpossiblethingthatcouldhappen,but

I’dstillsitonthesidelinesandwaitforher.No,fuckthat,I’dfightforher.

Sheshakesherhead,andIcanseeshe’sbecomingmoreemotionalwitheachpassingsecond.I

moveclosertoher,wrapmyarmsaroundher,hopingtoGodshedoesn’tpushmeaway.Sinkinginto
me,sheleansherheadagainstmychest,andIholdher.

“I’msoscared,Travis.”
Ipullawayandstareintohereyes.Nowshe’sreallybeginningtoworryme.

VIOLA

Idon’tknowwhattosay.Asheholdsmeinhisarms,Ifeellikenothingelseinthisworldmatters,

butI’mscaredshitless.AsIletoutaraggedbreath,Travisgrabsmychinbetweenhisfingersand
staresintomyeyes.BeforeIgetlostwithhim,Imovetheblanketfrommystomachandstandup.At

first,hedoesn’tnotice,butwhenhedoes,hiseyeswiden,andhesitsthere,completelysilent.Silence
likethisiswhatnightmaresaremadeof,anditscaresme.

“Pleasesaysomething.”I’mtryingtostaystrong,butknowI’mlosingitwhenIbegintochoke

up.

“Viola,”hefinallysays,swallowinghard.“Isit...”
“Yours?”Iarchabrow.
Hesearchesmyfaceandnods.
“Yes.”Iflashaconfidentsmile,wantinghimtoknowthatI’dneverdothattohim.Ihatethathe

evenhadtoquestionit,butIcan’tblamehimeither.TravisKingisn’tthekindofguyyoujustmove
onfrom.Ishouldknow.Ihadn’tbeenabletoinovertenyears.

Immediately,Travisstandsupandcupsmyfaceandcoversmymouthwithhis.Itsendsshivers

downmyspinetofeelhislipsagainstmineagain.It’sbeenmonthssinceI’vetastedhimanditfeelsso
goodandsorighttobeinhisarmsagain.Heslowsthekiss,andafterhebreaksapart,hepresseshis
lipsagainstmyforeheadbeforefallingtohisknees.

Iwatchasheplaceshispalmsagainstmyswollenbelly.Iliftmyshirtforhimsohecanfeelmy

skinagainsthis.Heplacesakissrightabovemybellybuttonbeforepressinghisearagainstmy
stomach.

Hisreactionmakesmelightupinside,andasIrunmyfingersthroughhishair,Ithinkabouthow

thiswillforeverchangeus.Iknowdeepinmyheartthateverythingwillbeokaynowthathefinally
knowsandbetteryetthathe’snotupsetaboutit.

Hetiltshisheadup,andwelockeyes.“Iwantyouandmeandourbabytobeafamily,princess.I

willgotoeverysinglebabyappointment.Youdon’thavetodothisalone.Idon’twantyoutodothis
alone.”

Iswallow,nervesbrewingthroughme.“Iknowyou’rebusywiththefirm,soyoureallydon’t

havetogotoanytrouble.Idon’twanttobeaburdentoyouwithallofthis.”

Hestandsupandwrapshisarmsaroundmeandholdsme.“Areyoukiddingme?Burden?Fuck

that.I’llbethereforeverything.Iwanttobethereforeverything.Appointments,shopping,baby
classes—allofit.Evenchangingtheshittydiapers.”

Iletoutalaugh,andit’sthefirsttimeI’vereallysmiledsincetellingDrew.“Thebabyhastobe

ourpriority.Nosex,no...”

“Morerules?”Hegivesmeaslygrin.
Iflashaguiltysmile.“Ijustthinkweshouldstayfocusedonthebaby,isall.It’sbeenalongtime

sincewe’vebeentogether,andIdon’twantyoutothinkIexpectanythingfromyou.”

Travistiltsmychinuntiloureyesarelocked.“Iwouldneverwantyoutogothroughthisalone—

nomatterwhat.Iwanttobewithyou,andIwanttoraisethisbabytogether.I’vebeenwaitingforyou.
I’veneverstoppedlovingyou,andIneverwill.Idon’tknowhowtomakeitanyclearer,princess.
You’reitforme.”

Ichokebackasobbecausehiswordsarepureperfection.Ifeelliketheworstpersonintheworld

rightnow,andallIwanttodoisgivehimeverything.

“Ijustwishyou’dtoldmesooner.”Icanhearthechangeinhisvoicenow,andit’scoatedwith

sadness.“Wereyouevengoingtotellmeifyoudidn’tplanoncomingback?”

Guiltwashesoverme,andIcan’tlookathissadeyes.“Ididn’tthinkyou’dwantanythingtodo

withmeafterthewayIleft,andIcouldn’tbearit.IwantedtotellyouassoonasIfoundout,butIwas
scared.”

“Princess...thatreallyhurtstohearyou’deverthinkthat.I’vewantedyousincebeforeIevenknew

whatitmeanttoneedsomeonethatmuch.Itwouldruinmetoloseyouforgood.”

Ican’tholdbackthetearsanymore,andhecatchesthemwithhisthumbovermycheeks.“I’mso

sorry,”Iwhisper.

“Iwould’vebeenthereforyoueveryminuteyouneededme.Iwould’veflowntoBostonina

heartbeat.Youaren’talone,Viola.”

“Travis,I’mreallysorry.I’manidiot.IknowIshould’vetoldyousooner,butIwassoscared

howyou’dreact,anditdidn’treallyhitmeatfirst.Iknowthat’snotavalidexcuse,butI’msosorry
forhurtingyou.Idon’teverwanttodothatagain,”Itellhim,andImeaneveryword.

“Princess,”hesays,brushingastrandofhairoffmyface.“Iunderstandyouwerescaredandit’s

okaynow.It’sallgoingtobeokay.I’llalwaysbehereforyou.I’mnotgoinganywhere.”

Hekissesmeagain,anditfeelssonaturalandright.Ididn’texpecthimtobethisunderstanding.I

playedeveryscenariooverinmyhead,andworstcase,I’dbealone.I’dbeasinglemom,andhe’d
neverwanttoseemeagain.

“DoesDrewknow?”heaskswithapointedlook.
“Yeah,hedoes.Itoldhimyesterday.”
“Oh,okay;good.Iwasn’tsureifIshouldexpecthimtopunchmeinthefacesometimesoon.”
“Well,maybe.Butitwouldn’tbeforthis,”Isaywithasmirk.
“So,thenhetookitwell?”
Ishrugandpursemylips.“Minusafewchoicewords,yeahI’dsayhedid.”
“Andyourparents?”
“Notyet.Soon,though.”
“Wecandoittogether,”hesaysconfidently.
Iwrapmyarmsaroundhimandpullhisfacetomine,soIcankisshimoncemore.ItellhimI’ll

berightbackandwalktowardthekitchenbecauseI’mindesperateneedofsomewater.

AsIglanceovermyshoulderathim,Iseehimwatchingmeandadmiringmynewwaddle.Istudy

himandnolongerseetheboyIfellinlovewithallthoseyearsago,butamanwhowillbethefather
ofourbaby.Anamazingfather.

“Damn,yourasslooksgreat.”
Iglareathim.“Ifeelhugeanddisgusting.”
“Areyoukiddingme?You’rebeautiful,princess.”
OnceIreachthekitchen,Igrababottleofwaterandwalkrightbacktowherehe’swaitingforme

onthecouch.

“So,doyouknowifit’sagirloraboyyet?”
“No,Ididn’twanttofindoutuntilyouknew.”
Hesmilesandbrusheshishandoverthestubbleonhischin.“Okay,good.Sowhatisyourdue

date?Doyouknowwhenyouhaveyournextappointment?Oh,myGod.IjustrealizedI’llneedtotell
mymother.”

Iletoutachuckleatallofhisquestions,butIunderstand,it’sallalittleoverwhelming.
“Well...I’mdueinlateFebruary.ImadeanappointmentforWednesdayatthree,andthenthe

ultrasoundwillberightafterthat,butifyoucan’tmakeit,it’stotallyfine.”

“February,”herepeats,nodding.“I’llpickyouup,andwe’llgotogether.Iwillneverbetoobusy

foryou.”HereachesformyhandandpullsmecloseruntilI’magainsthischest.Heclosesthegap
betweenuswithhislips,andwhenhekissesme,it’ssoeasytoclosemyeyesandbetransportedback
tosixmonthsago—beforeourblowout,beforeBoston,andbeforethepregnancy.TravisandIhave
neverhada‘normal’relationship,andnowwithababyinthepicture,itcouldgetevenmore
complicated,butasIfeelhisbodypressedagainstmine,Ifeelnothingbuthappiness.Complicatedor
not,Iknowhe’llkeephispromisetome.He’llbethereforthebabyandmeandwon’tallowmetodo
thisbymyself,evenifIbeggedhimbecausehe’sstubbornlikethat.TravisKingisgoingtobea

wonderfuldad,andI’mgoingtobeanawesomemom,andwe’regoingtohaveabeautifulbaby
together.Itstillfeelssurreal.Evenwithhimherewithme—elated—itdoesn’tseemreal.

“I’vemissedyourlips,”hesays,pullingmylowerlipintohismouthandreleasingit.
“Oh,yeah?”
Hepressesanotherkissonthem.“Oh,yeah.Eventheselips,too,”heteasesandsmilesasIfinally

getwhathewasimplying.

“Ishould’veknownyou’dalreadybetryingtobreaktherules.”
“Fucktherules.Yourrulesneverstoodachanceanyway.”Hegrins,andIknowhe’sright,evenif

Iwon’tadmitit.

“So,you’llneedtotellGryffhe’sgettingasibling.”
“Whydon’tyoucomeoverandtellhimyourself?”Hearchesabrow,andIknowwherethisis

going.

“Fine,Iwill.”
“Maybestayandhaveasleepover.”
Igivehimapointedlook.
“What?It’snotlikeyoucangetpregnantagain...”
“Areyouseriouslytalkingaboutgettingmebackintoyourbedalready?”Ifrownandlookdown

atmyhugebelly.“Likethis?”

“Areyoureallythatsurprised?”Hechuckles.
Isigh,knowingIreallyshouldn’tbe.“Somethingsneverchange,King.”
Ilookdownandtakenoticeoftheimpressivetentinhispants.“Oh,God.You’reserious.”
Heshrugs.“Theysaytheheartdoesn’tforget,butIthinkwhattheymeantwasthedick...”
Thedooropens,andCourtneywalksinwithherpursethat’sthesizeofasmallsuitcaseswung

overhershoulder.

“Hey,boss,”shesaystoTravis,dropsthebagwithaloudthud,andwalkstothekitchen.He

quicklyadjustshimselfwhenshe’soutofsight.

“Didyoureallyhireher?”Iwhisper.
Helaughs.“Shekindofhiredherself.”
“Icanhearyoutwo,”sheyellsfromtheotherroom,andwebothcrackuplaughing.Itfeelsgood

tobewithhimagain.Imightactuallybeabletogetsomesleepnowwithouttheanxietyoftelling
Travisweighingonme.

Courtneychangesintoapairofleggingsandat-shirt.“Congratsonthebunintheoven,boss.”
“Court!”
“What?WecanstarttalkingaboutitnowthatTravisknows,right?”Shewinksatme,butIglareat

her.Imadeherpromisemeshewouldn’tsayaworduntilTravisknew,soIguessit’sfairgamenow.

“Ithinkthat’smycuetogetgoing,”Travissayswithasmileandstandsup.“Oh,Ialmostforgot.”

Hestopsbeforemakingittothedoor.Travispicksupapackageandhandsittome.Iglancedownat
it,andthenbackupathimbeforeItearthesilverpaperfromthesmallbox.Iliftthelidandseea
blackvelvetjewelryboxinside.

“What’sthis?”I’mconfusedandkindofnervoustoopenit.
“Goon,”Courtneysays,herfacealllitup.She’sontheedgeofthecouchwaiting.WhenIopen

thebox,Iimmediatelygasp.It’sasetofheart-shapeddiamondearrings,similartothenecklacehe
gavemeformythirteenthbirthday.

“Oh,myGod,Travis.They’rebeautiful,”Igush.“Butit’stoomuch.”Iwatchthemglimmerinthe

light.

“I’dbuyyoutheworldifIcould,princess,”hesays,dismissingmyreluctancetoacceptthem.

“Goahead,putthemon.”

AfterIputthemin,Itightlywrapmyarmsaroundhisneckandburymyfaceinhisneck.“Thank

yousomuch.”

Hewrapshisarmsaroundmywaistandpressesakissundermyear.“HappyBirthday,princess.I

loveyou.”Hethenpresseshispalmtomystomach.“Iloveyoutoo,littleone.”

Travisflashesmeanoverjoyedsmile,butbeforehecanwalkaway,Igrabhishandandpullhim

backtome.“Iloveyou,too,Travis.”

Sayingitfeelssoright,andwhenthewordsfinallyleavemymouth,Imeanthem.Ilovehim.I’ve

alwayslovedhim,andit’stimeheknows.Travisleansinandgivesmethesweetest,softestkissonthe
lips.

Hetellsmehe’llcallmelaterbeforewalkingout,andI’mleftreeling.Theonlythingthatbrings

mebacktorealityisCourtney’sbig,longhigh-pitchedaww.Iforgotshewasstillhere,becausewhen
hislipstouchedmine,theonlytwopeoplethatexistedatthemomentwereus.

CHAPTERSEVENTEEN

TRAVIS

It’shardnottodoubtmyabilitytobeadad.ConsideringIdidn’thaveapositivemalerolemodelin
mylife,Iquestionit,buteachdayIremindmyselfthatIamnotmyfather.Nomatterwhat,I’llbe
thereformysonordaughter,andmakesuretogivealltheloveImissedouton.I’lltryeverydayto
settheexample,toshowlovewhilebeingaparent.Thiskidisn’thereyet,butmylifeisalready
drasticallychanging.Idon’twanttofail.

EvenifI’mscaredshitlessthatIwillmessthiswholedadthingup,IfeellikeI’mtheluckiestman

ontheplanet.Atleastthat’swhatIkeepthinkingwhenIglanceoveratViolaasIdrivetoour
appointment.It’snolongerherappointments.I’vemadesuretotakeownershipofeachandeveryone
ofthemfromnowuntilthedeliverydate.Ourappointments,ourbaby,ourfuture.

I’mgoingtobeadad.It’sascarythought,butknowingthatViolaistheone,andshe’scarrying

ourbaby,bringssuchasenseofjoytomethatit’salmostunexplainable.Sinceshe’sbeenhome,
we’vequicklyfallenbackintoouroldroutine,butwithoutallthewildsex.Itfeelsgreatknowing
therearenomoresecrets,andwecanbeasopenaswewish.

Thelastfewdays,she’sstoppedbytovisitGryffandme,andIstopbyCourtney’severyday

beforeIheadhome.EachtimeIleaveher,itsucks.Iwanthertomoveinwithmeorforustogetour
ownplace,butI’mtryingtokeepherstressfree.

Wepullintotheparkinglotofthedoctor'soffice,andoncewe’reparked,Igrabherhandandkiss

herknuckles.“Areyoureadyforthis?”

Shegivesmeasmallsmirk.“SomehowIdon’tthinkyou’rereferringtothedoctor'svisit.”
Archinganeyebrowupather,Ireply,“Definitelynot.”
“Thentakeme,TravisKing.Givemeyourbabies,”shesayswithalaugh.
“Consideritdone.”
Wegetoutofthecarandwalkinside.It’sthefirsttimeI’vesteppedfootinsideagynecologist’s

office,anditfeelslikealltheheadsturnandstareatme.Violasmilesatallthewomeninthewaiting
area,butherbodytenseswithnerves.

Onceshe’scheckedinandtheycallherback,shestepsonthescaleandtellsmetoturnaroundso

Ican’tsee.AsmuchasIwanttoremindherthatIdon’tcarewhatthenumberonthatscalesays,Iwant
torespectherprivacyaswell.Afterthat,theytakeherbloodpressureandaskherifanythinghas
changedsincethelasttimeshe’sbeenthere.Consideringshe’spregnantnow,shehadalottoupdate.

Whenthedoctorarrives,theytalkaboutalittleofeverything.It’soverwhelmingatfirst,butItry

tokeepup.Iwanttoknowallouroptionsandbirthplansandwhateverthehellanepiduralis.Iwant
tobehereforViolaasmuchaspossible.

ThedoctormotionsforViolatoliedownandlifthershirt.Shemeasuresherbellyfrom

underneathherbreastsallthewaydowntoherpelvis.Shetellsusshemeasuresrightontimefora
lateFebruaryduedate.

Shethenpressesherhandsintoherbelly,andIwatchasViolacringes.I’mnotsureifthat’s

normal,soI’mtemptedtosaysomething,butitdoesn’tlastbutamoment.Soonthedoctorispulling

herupright,andremindinghertotakeherprenatalvitamins.

Oncethedoctorleaves,IstandinbetweenViola’slegsandcupherchin.“Youarebeautiful,”I

remindher.

Shegivesmeaforcedsmile,butit’snotbelievable.
“Youarecarryingmybaby,andifthat’snotthesexiestandmostbeautifulthingintheworld,then

Idon’tknowwhatis.”

Shefinallysmileswideandkissesme.
Thenursestartlesusassheknocksonthedoorandpushesitopen.“Ibelieveyouscheduledyour

ultrasoundforafterthecheckup?Wendyisexpectingyouintheradiologydepartmentwheneveryou
twoarereadytoheaddown.”

Wetaketheelevatorsdowntothelowerlevelandfollowthesignstoanotherreceptionist’sdesk.

Thewoman’snametagreadsWendy,andIknowwe’reintherightplace.

OnceViola’sregistered,weonlyhavetowaitafewmomentsbeforetheycallusback.An

ultrasoundtech,wholatertellsushernameisKelly,greetsusatthedoorandleadsusdownahallway
toavacantroomwithalargeflatscreenTVhungonthewallandanultrasoundmachine.Everything
lookssoforeigntomeandI’mnotsurewhattoexpect,butI’mexcitedtobeherewithher.

KellyinstructsViolatositonthetableandleanallthewayback.Onceshedoes,shelooksoverat

meandsmiles.

“What?”Iask.
“Areyoureadytoseeourbaby?”
Igrabherhandandsqueeze.“Yes,Ican’twait.”
OnceViolaissettledonthetablewithherjeansunbuttonedandhershirtpulledup,Kellyturns

downthelightsandsettlesintothechairnexttous.

“Isawinyourchartthatyoudon’tknowthesexofthebabyyet.Doyouwanttofindouttoday?”
Violalooksoveratme,andshe’sbeaming.“Doyouwanttoknow?”
“It’suptoyou,princess.”Notknowingissomewhatkillingme,butitwouldn’tmatterifitwasa

littlegirlorboy.I’dlovehimorherjustthesame.

“Canwewait?Makeitabigsurprise?”sheasks,andIcan’tdenyherexcitement.
Thetechsmiles,andInod.
Violaturnstothetechandsmileswithanidea.“Couldyouwriteitdownandsealitinanenvelope

forus?”Violaasks,andIwanttoknowwhatshe’supto.Ofcourse,shenotices.

“IthoughtwecouldopenitonNewYear ’s.”She’senjoyingtorturingmewaytoomuch.“Assoon

astheclockstrikesmidnight.”

Ilaughathersweetidea.“Let’sdoit.”
“Thisisgoingtobealittlecold,”thetechwarnsViolaasshespreadsthegelonherstomachso

thewandwillmoveeasilyacrossherskinandthere’snoairinbetween.Ifeelmyheartbegintorace
asthetechplacesitonherstomachandmovesitarounduntilshelandsonapulsingbeat.Theroom
fillswithasoundthatremindsmeofawashingmachine.It’sourbaby’sheartbeat.

“So,you’vehadnoissuessinceyourlastappointment?”thetechasks.
“Nope.Everything’sbeengreat.”Sheglancesoveratmeandsmilesgenuinely.
“So,haveyoutwopickedoutanynames?”
“Notyet,”webothsayatthesametime.It’ssomethingwehaven’tdiscussedyet.
I’minawethatIcanseeourbaby’sfaceina3Dimage.IglanceoveratViola,smilingastearsof

happinessstreamdownherface.Istandupandgrabherhandinamazement.“Icanseethebaby’s
mouthandnose.”

“Everythinglooksperfect,”thetechsayswithasatisfiedsmile.“NowI’mjustgoingtotakesome

measurementsforthedoctor,andthenwhenIgettothelowerhalfofthebaby,I’llletyouknowso

youcanlookaway.”

I’mhalf-temptedtosneakaglance,butIdon’t.IwanttosharethatmomentwithViola.It’llbe

somethingjustforus.

“I’llprintsomeimagesoutforyoutotakehome,”shesays,clickingsomebuttonsonher

machine.Onceshe’sfinished,shesetseverythingdown.“Herearesometissuestowipethegeloff.”
Violatakesthemandcleansherbelly.Itsuddenlyfeelssoreal.

Thetechhandsusthe3Dimages,andwe’rebothinawe.
“Ican’tbelievewecanseesomuchdetailalready.”
“Ithinkit’sgoingtolookalotlikeyou,”Isay,examiningtheimages.
“Yeah?”sheaskswithhopefulnessinhertone.
“Yup.Justaddsomeglasses,atinywandintheirhand,andvoila!MiniatureViola.”
“Veryfunny!”Shewrinkleshernoseandpullshershirtbackdown.“Well,heorshewillclearly

havegoodtasteinbooks.”

“Clearly,”Imock.
Shestandsup,andIholdherinmyarmsandkissherhairandtellherhowmuchIloveher.

“We’rehavingababy,”Iwhisper.“We’rereallyhavingababy.”

VIOLA

“I’vegotasurpriseforyou,”Travissaysasweheaddownthehighwayintheoppositedirection

ofthehospital.ThestreetsandhousesaredecoratedwithChristmaslights,andIthinkabouthowthis
willbeourfirstChristmastogetherasacouple.Heinterlockshisfingerswithmineandsqueezes.
Whenwepulluptothemall,Ilaughathischoiceoflocation.

“You’rebringingmetothemall?”
“Thoughtyou’dwanttoseeSanta.”Hechuckles.“Actually,I’dliketospoiltheshitoutofyouand

mylittleprince.”

“Prince?Soyouthinkit’saboy?”Igrabtheenvelopeoutofmypurseandwaveitaround.Inside

onapieceofpaperisthesexofourbaby,andwhileI’msotemptedtoripitopen,Idon’t.

Hiseyeswiden.“NewYear ’s.It’snottoofaraway.Justacoupleofweeks.”
Ileanoverandkisshim,andheplaceshishandonthebackofmyheadandpullsmeevencloser.

Wegetoutofthecarandwalkintothemall.TwinklingChristmaslightsarestrungfromthetrees,and
it’ssodamncrowdedthatIalmostsecond-guessthisdecision.Travisgrabsmyhand,andwewalk
throughdifferentstores,andheasksmequestionsaboutthingsIlike.Thenextstorewewalkintoisa
babystore.Hefindsaonesiethathasacrownonitandbuysitimmediately.

“Butit’sblue,”Istate.
“It’sbecausewe’rehavingaboy.Butifwehavealittlegirl,I’llstilldressherinit,”hechuckles.
“Ifwehavealittlegirl,you’regoingtobethatscarydadwithtattoosthatdoesn’tletherdate,

ever.”

“Damnstraight.Andshe’llhaveabigstrongunclethatcarriesagunandhandcuffs.Nodating

untilshe’sthirty.I’mserious.”

Ishrugwithagrin.“She’lljustsneakaround.Seriously,lookwhoherparentsare.”
“Wedon’thavetoworryaboutitbecausewe’rehavingaboy.”
“Okay,whateveryousay.”
AswewalkpastVictoria’sSecret,heturnsandgivesmeasmirk.
“Don’teventhinkaboutit.I’mahouse.ThelastthingIfeelissexy.”

“Trustme,princess.You’resexy.”HeglancesdowntohiscrotchwhereIseeanimpressive

growthunderhisjeans.

I’mlaughingsohardIcanbarelycatchmybreath.Thegigglestakeoverandmystomachis

bouncingsomuchthatitmakesmelaughtothepointthatTravisjoinsin.Welookridiculous,
walkingthroughthemall,losingourshitlaughing.

HegrabsmyhandandleadsmeacrossthewaywhereSantaissitting.
“You’renotserious.”
“Comeon;itwillbeourfirstfamilyphoto.”
Hissmileisconvincing,soIfollowhimdownthedecoratedlanewithplasticcandycanes.Travis

paystheteenagerdressedasanelfandsoonwe’rewalkingupthestairsonthestage.Santapatshis
lap,andIlaughandsit.

“Haveyoubeenagoodgirl?”Theoldguylooksatme.He’ssuchagreatSanta;Idon’tevenhave

theurgetopullhisbeardlikeIdidwhenIwasakid.

Travisspeaksup.“No,Santa.She’sbeenaverybadgirl.”
Mymouthfallsopenwithagasp.“King!”
“AndwhatwouldyoulikeforChristmas?”IlookatSantaforalongwhileandthenlookto

Travis.

“IhaveeverythingIwant,actually.”Imeaneveryword.Instinctively,Itouchmytummy.Travisis

smilingsobig;IwishtheycouldtakethepicturerightatthisverymomentsoIcantreasureitforever.

“There’sboundtobesomething,”TravisasksasifhewaswaitingformetospillmygutstoSanta

andhiselves.

“I’dlikeworldpeace,”Isaywithasmile.
“Atypicalprincessanswer,”Travislaughs.
Santagivesusabigho,ho,ho,andIturntolookatthecamerawithasmileandtheelfsnapsthe

photo.Onceit’sprintedandputintooneofthosecardboardframeswithsnowflakesalongtheside,
shehandsittome.ImmediatelyIopenittosee.I’mlookingatthecamera,sohappy,withmylittle
babybump,andTravisislookingatmewithsomuchloveandadorationthatIcan’thelpbutturnto
himandkisshiminthemiddleofthemall,regardlessofallthepeopletryingtowalkpastus.

Frombehind,Ihearsomeonescoff,andIturnaroundtoseeMiaFuckingMontgomerystanding

there,withasmug-asslookonherface,andsomedudenexttoher.TravisgrabsmyarmbecauseI’m
readytokillher.SheglancesdownatmystomachandthenlooksatTravisandburstsintoanevil
laughter.“IwonderhowmanyotherKingbabiesarewanderingaround.”

“Nowhereneartheamountofsextapesyouhavefloatingaroundtheinternet.Orthenumberof

randomdicksyou’vehadinyourmouth,”Travisspitsbackather.

Miagaspsthenturnsandlooksatthebagofbonesstandingbesideher—unamused—buthe

doesn’tjumptodefendher.Eitherit’sbecauseTraviscouldriphiminhalforbecauseheknowsit’s
true.

I’venotseenTravisthisangryinyears.
“Can’tbelieveyousettledforthis.Lookather.Youcouldhavedonesomuchbetter.Pity,really.”

Shelooksmeupanddown.

“You’reabitch!I’msohappyDrewfinallymovedonfromyourskankyass,”Isaybetween

grittedteeth,takingafewstepsforward.Peopleturnandlookatus,andinanyothercircumstanceI’d
beembarrassed,butallIcanseeisred.Myheartbeatringsoutinmyears,andIwanttopunchherin
theface,pregnantornot.Shehurtmybrother;shehurtTravisandme,andthedamageshecaused
wasalmostirreparable.

Travisgrabsmyhandandpullsmeawayfromher,butI’mseethingtothepointthatIstartcrying.

I’mpissedIcan’tgaincontrolofmyemotions,andIhatethatpeoplearestaringatus.Oncethe

adrenalinecoursesthroughme,exhaustionfollows,withanextra-largedoseofdoubt.

“Comeon.Let’sgetoutofhere,”Travissays,rubbingmyback.
Afterwe’reinthecar,wesitinsilence.
“I’msorry,princess.Youdidn’tdeserveanyofthat.”
“Didyouhearwhatshesaid?”
Helooksatmewithsadeyesandnods.“Youknowwhat?Fuckher.”
“Shewantedyouto,”Iadd.Allthoseoldfearsstartfloodingbackinfullforce,anditputsmeon

edge.

“IcanguaranteeyoutheonlyKingbabyistheoneyou’recarrying.”Hegrabsmyhand.
“NooneelseI’veeverbeenwithhasmademefeelthewayyoudo.Ever.It’salwaysbeenyou,

Viola.I’vealwaysreservedthatpartofmyselfforyou.”

Iletoutaraggedbreath.“ButwhatifyouwakeuponedayanddecideI’mnotwhatyouwant?

Whatifshe’sright?”

“AndwhatifIcounterthatwithanotherscenario?WhatifIwakeupeveryday,knowingIlove

youmorethanI’veeverlovedanyoneinmylife?AndwhatifIhonestlybelieveI’mtheluckiestman
onearthbecauseI’vesomehowsnaggedthegirlofmydreams—thegirlIcrushedonasakid,that
forbiddenfruit—andshe’sgoingtohavemybaby?Becausethat’stherealitywelivein,thatwewill
alwayslivein.”Hebrusheshisthumbagainstmycheek.

“Youalwaysdothat,”Isay.
“What’sthat?”heasksashecranksthecar,thelowrumblecalmingme.
“Sayexactlytherightthingattherighttime.”Ismile.
Onthewayhome,weshareside-glancesandtherealizationofhowhappyTravismakesmesets

in.Afterbeingawayfromhimforsixmonths,Idon’tdaretakemomentslikethisforgranted.I
cherisheachandeveryoneofthem,butIknowtherewillbethousandsmore.Noonewilleverbe
abletotakethisawayfromus,becausewhatwehaveismorethanastupidcrushoraone-nightstand.

It’sreal.
It’sloveintherawestform.

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

TRAVIS

It’sfinallythenightI’vebeenwaitingfor,andeventhoughViola’sonlybeenbackforafewweeks,it
feelslikenothing’schangedatall.Well,exceptthatshe’scarryingmybaby,we’vebeenapartment
huntingtogether,andshetellsmeshelovesmeeveryday.

Sixmonthsago,Iwasatadead-endjobthatInolongerfeltpassionateabout.Thegirlofmy

dreamshadjustmovedacrossthecountry,andmybestfriendwouldbarelyspeaktome.I’dscrewed
up,andI’lllivewiththatfortherestofmylife,butIcan’tsayI’mnothappyaboutwherethathasall
leadme.DrewandIworkedoutourdifferences;KingMarketingisbecomingareality,Gryfffinally
stoppedchewingonallmydamnexpensiveshoes,andmostimportantly,Violaisfinallymine.I
couldn’tbeanyfuckinghappierrightnow.

NewYear ’sEveusedtomeangoingoutwithfriends,gettingdrunk,andbringingbackarandom

girlforameaninglessnighttogether.I’mnotproudofthattradition,butthisyearIplantomakea
newone.

Violahasheldontoherpromiseoffindingoutthebaby’sgenderuntilmidnight.We’regoingto

openittogetherinthepark,underthelights.Ihaveacouplemoregiftstosurpriseherwithtonightas
well,andshehasnoclue.Tonight’sanightwe’llbothrememberfortherestofourlives.

Violasleepsovermostnightsnow,andsinceshe’srestlessthemajorityofthetime,Ilethersleep

inwhileGryffandIgoforourmorningwalkandIbrewthecoffee.She’sbeensnoringinhersleep,
whichkeepsmeup.Gryffsleepsatourfeet,andwhenshe’snotkickinghimoffinthemiddleofthe
night,he’snuzzlinghiswayunderthecoversandstealingthemfromme.Thefirstthingwe’regetting
oncewemoveisaking-sizedbed.Andabiggerdogbed.

Afterourchillywalk,Igrabthenewspaperandpourmyselfahotcupofcoffee.Gryffsleepsat

myfeetasIscanthepaper.OnceIfinishtheworldnewssection,Ifliptothebusinessoverviewwhere
IseeCRAWFORDMARKETINGinboldletters.

Enronwasoneofthebiggestscandalsin2001,andmorethanadecadelater,anothercompanyis

facingsimilarcharges.CrawfordMarketing,foundedin1970,hasfallenunderthesamescrutinyof

theSecurityandExchangeCommission.Aformalinvestigationconcerningthe$400millionloss

reportedbythecompanyinthefourthquarterwillbeginsoon.Reliablesourceshavestatedearnings

havebeenmisrepresentedforanundisclosedtimeperiod,andembezzlementchargeshavebeenfiled

againstAlyssaCrawford,daughteroftheChiefExecutiveOfficer.

Ishakemyheadwithaslysmirkonmyface.I’msogladIleftwhenIdid.BlakeandAlyssadeserve
eachotherafterthatstunt,andthey’llbetogetherforever—behindbars.

Drewslowlywalksdownthehallinjusthispajamabottoms,hiswildhairinabun,andbags

underhiseyes.

“Roughnight?”Iask,noddingmyheadtothecoffeemaker.“There’ssomeleft.”

“Youcouldsaythat,”hemumbles,grabbinghimselfacup.“Nooffense,man,butwhenthehell

areyoutwomovingout?Ican’ttakeanothernightofhersnoring.”

“Soon,Ipromise.”
“Idon’tknowhowyousleepnexttothat.”Heshakeshishead,walkingbackovertothetableand

sittingdownnexttome.“It’slikeatrain’scomingrightthroughthehouse.”

“Idon’t.”Isigh.“God,Ihopeafterthebabycomes,itstops;otherwise,noneofuswilleverget

sleepagain.”

Drewlaughsinagreement.
“Whatareyoutwolaughingabout?”Violaasks,waddlingintothediningroom.
“Oh,nothing,”Isay,reachingahandoutandbringinghertomylap.Drewbringshiscupupto

hislipsandhidesasmilebehindit.

“How’dyousleep?”Iaskher.
“Asgoodasonecanwithanextrafiftypoundsontopofthem.”
“Well,hopefully,you’llloseitallafterthebabyishereandwecanallsleepagain,”Drew

comments,andIwince,knowingimmediatelythatViolaisgoingtochewhisassout.

“Imeantthedog,asshole!Gryffkeptnudginghiswayinbetweenus.”
“Oh,sorry!”Heputshishandsupinanapologeticsurrender,andIlaughathisexpense.
“AndIhavenotgainedfiftypounds,thankyouverymuch,”shesayswithascowl.“I’vegained

twenty-one,andthedoctorsaidthatwasintheperfectrange.”

“You’rebeautifulnomatterhowmanypoundsyouputon,”Itellher,butshedoesn’tsmile.
“Youtwosuck.”Shegetsupandwalksintothekitchen.She’sonlytwomonthsawayfromherdue

datenow,andIcantellshe’sgettinganxious.“Comeon,Gryff.Let’sgostuffourfacesinprivate
wherewewon’tbejudged.”

DrewandIsitinsilenceforamoment,andwhenI’msureViolaisoutofhearingdistance,Ilean

towardhim.“So,Ihavesomethingtoshowyou.”

Ireachintomypocket,andDrewspeaksup,“Dudeifyouwhipyourdickout,I’mpunchingyou

inthethroat.”

“Hey,Ididthatonetime!AndIwasdrunk,”Isayinmydefense.
OnceI’mdoneshowingoffViola’ssurprise,IstuffitbackintomypocketbeforesheandGryff

walkbackin.“I’mgoingtotakeashower.”

“Wantsomehelp?”Igrin,knowingshe’llprobablysmackmeforthatone.
“Icouldusesomehelpshaving.Ihaven’tseenmyvaginainacoupleofweeks.”
Drewmakesagaggingnoise,andViolalaughsathisexpense.
“Youdidthatonpurpose,”Drewcomplains.
“That’swhatyougetfortheweightcomment!”shefiresback.Gryfffollowsherdownthe

hallwayasIstandupandsetmycupinsidethesink.

“Ihopeyouknowwhatyou’vegottenyourselfinto,”Drewsaysbehindme.“She’sfeistyashell

onagoodday.Idon’tevenwanttoimaginewhenshegivesbirth.”

“Iplantowearacupthatday.Andmaybeevenahelmet.”
“Iheardthat,TravisKing!”sheshoutsfromthebathroom.
“Ohyeah,forgottomentionhersuper-enhancedhearing.Someweirdpregnancyhormonething,”

Drewexplains.“Ourmomhadittoowhenshewasinherthirdtrimester.”

“Anychanceshehadanoveractivesexdriveafterbirth,too?”Ichuckleasherollshiseyesatme,

lookinghorrified.“Hey,yougosixmonthswithoutsexandseewhat’sonyourmindtwenty-four
seven!”

“Sixmonths,huh?”heaskswithanimpressedtone.“Andyourhandhasn’tgonenumbyet?”
“Surprisinglynot.”

Hepatsmeontheshoulder.“Hanginthere,man.You’llhavesexagainineighteenyearsorso.”
“Comforting.Thankyou.”
“Ialwayssavemybestadviceforyou.”

OnceViolaandIarebothreadyfortheday,wetakeGryffforawalkinthepark,wherefamiliesare
allsetuptoenjoythefireworkswhentheclockstrikesmidnight.It’soneofthedogparksaround
here,andeventhoughitcansometimesbeoverwhelming,Gryfflovestheinteraction.

“So,areyougettingexcitedaboutthereveal?”Iaskher.We’rewalkingsidebyside,holding

hands,andIcan’thelpthinkingabouthowthisnightisgoingtochangeeverything.

“Iam!”Shesmiles.“You?”
“Oh,yeah.I’malreadythinkingofnamesforthelittleman.”
Sherollshereyesatme,onceagain,forcommentingaboutitbeingaboy.“Ihopeyouaren’t

goingtobedisappointedifit’sagirl.”

“Ofcoursenot.I’mnotsureIcouldhandleanotherprincessinmylife,butI’msureIcouldmake

room.”Ismirk,bringingherhandupandkissingherknuckles.“Haveyouthoughtofanynames?”

“Yes,butI’mprettysureyou’regoingtovetothemall.”
“Dotheyhaveanythingincommonwithacertainbookseries?”Iarchabrow,knowingdamn

wellshe’sthoughtofnamesbasedonherfavoritebooks.

“Possibly,”shesayswithaglare.“Nomoviecharacters,though.”
“So,IguessBridgetJonesisoffthetable?”
Shesnortsandshakesherheadatme.“Definitely.”
“Damn.Iwashopingonedaytobeabletotellthatstoryasthenightwechristenedtheliving

roomfloor.”

“Travis!”shescolds,slappingmyarm.“I’mstartingtothinkyougetnovotesnow.”
“Aw,youdon’tmeanthat.”Ipushoutmylowerlip,andsheletsoutadreamysigh.
Wewalkoutoftheparkandheadbackhome.She’sbeendoingprettywell,takingregularwalks

tokeepuphermomentumandstrength.Iknowasthedaysgetcloser,she’sgoingtofeelworndown
andtired,butshe’sbeendoinggreatsofar.I’msuperimpressedwithhowwellshe’sadjustedto
everything.

“Ican’twaituntilwecantakethebabyonourwalkswithusinthestroller,”shesaysaswemake

ourwayinsidethehouse.

“Well,whenI’matwork,youguyswillhaveplentyoftimetogoforwalks.Aslongasyoutake

Gryff,though.He’syourbodyguardwhenI’maway.”

“Well,untilthebabyisoldenoughtogotoasitter.”
“Wait,what?”Iask,unhookingGryff’sleash.“Whywouldthebabyneedasitter?”
“ForwhenIgotowork,”shestates,leavingmespeechless.“Idon’twanttowastemydegree.”
“It’snotwastingyourdegree,Viola.You’llalwayshaveit,butdon’tyouwanttobetheoneto

raisethebaby?Ijustfigured—”

“ThatI’dbeoneofthosestay-at-homemomsthatliveinyogapants,dirtyt-shirts,andunwashed

hair?”

“Well,Iwasn’tnecessarilytalkingabouttheuniform...”
“Whatever.Idon’twanttobeleftalonealldaylongwhileyou’reatwork.”
“ButIwanttobetheonetoprovideforyou,forus.Ileftmycorporatejobwithyouinmind,

Viola.Iwantedtomakesureourfuturewasplannedout.”

“So,we’rejustgoingtomakeadozenbabies,andI’llstayhomeandcookandcleanandthen

we’llbethenextTLCspotlightfamily?”

Iswallow,watchinghersteamintooverdrive,andwonderinghowthehellI’msupposedtohandle

thissituationwhenherhormonesgetthebestofher.Weprobablyshould’vediscussedthisbeforeI
madeassumptions,butnowIdon’tknowhowtogetmyselfoutofitwithoutpissingheroffeven
more.

“Okay,wecandowhatevermakesyouhappy.”Itakeasteptowardher,watchingherchestrise

andfallasshetakesdeepbreaths.“Calmdown,princess.We’llmakethiswork;Ipromiseyou.We
don’thavetomakeanydefiniteplansrightnow.Nothingissetinstone.”

“ExceptforthefactthatIhavetopopthisbabyoutofmyvag.”
“Well,yeah.Unfortunately,Ican’tfixthatlittledetail.”Iwatchasshefidgets.“Deepbreaths,

princess.Everythingisgoingtobefine.”

“Idon’tknowwhyIgetlikethis.OnesecondI’mfine,andthenext,I’mfreakingout,

overthinkingeverythingandquestioningifwe’rereadyforthis,andwhatifsomethinggoeswrong
orwhatifI’mnotstrongenoughtogothroughlaboror—”

“Viola,”Isayfirmly,grabbingherattention.“Youaregoingtodriveyourselfinsane,

overanalyzingeverylittlethingthatmightormightnotgowrong.I’mhereforyou,okay?I’mnot
goinganywhere,andwhateverhappens,we’llfigureitouttogether.Gotit?”

“Okay,”shesayssoftly.Ibringherlipstomineandkissher,remindingherexactlyhowmuchI

loveher.“Areyousureyoustilllovethistrainwreck?”

“Moreandmoreeverysingleday.”

AfterViolatakesashower,sheendsupfallingasleeponthecouchwithGryff.Idon’tdaredisturbher
becauseIknowhowtiredshegets.Myparentsaredrivingdowntomeetusfordinnertonight,which
willbeViola’sfirsttimeseeingtheminyears.ItoldmymomoverthephonethatViolawaspregnant,
andshe’sbeenecstaticoverthenews.

Myfatherissickerthanbefore,andmymomisstilldoingeverythingshecantokeephimalive.I

knowsheloveshim,andIadmireherstrength.Idon’topenlytalkaboutitunlessshegivesmethe
impressionshewantsto,buttonightwillbeaboutnewbeginningsandthenextchapterinourlives.As
muchasIlookforwardtothisnextyearofourlives,I’malsoenjoyingeverystepofthejourney
alongtheway.

IpeekatViolaoncemorebeforeIstepoutside,needingtomakesureshe’sstillasleep.Idial

Courtneyandmakesuretokeepmyvoicelowjustincaseherenhancedhearingtakeseffectagain.

“What’sup,boss?”Sheanswersonthefirstring.
“Viola’sasleep,soIwantedtogothroughtheeventsfortonightonemoretime,”Isay,pacingon

thedriveway.

“We’vebeenoveritfivetimes!”
“Justhumorme,Courtney!”
Shelaughsandletsoutaloudsigh.“Fine.Ifthat’swhatwillgetmearaise...”
“Araise?Wehaven’tevenopenedthedoorsyet!”
“WhatcanIsay?Mydaddytaughtmehowtoplayhardballatayoungage.”
Ibrushanervoushandthroughmyhairandmutterafewcursewords.“Fine,”Iagreethrough

grittedteeth.“I’llhaveDrewcometwiceaweektodeliverlunch.Happynow?”

Icantellshe’ssmilingontheotherendjustbythehigh-pitchedtoneinhervoice.“Yes,very.Now

wasthatsohard?”

“IknewI’dregretcallingyouthatday,”Imutter,knowingdamnwellshe’llhearme.
“Andnowyou’restuckwithmeforever.Getusedtoit,King.”
“Canwepleasejustgothroughtheplanonemoretimenow?”I’mlosingmypatience,andshe

knowsit,too.

“Ofcourse.Whateveryousay,boss.”

CHAPTERNINETEEN

VIOLA

IwakeuptoGryfflickingmyface.He’spressingonmybladder,andI’mtwosecondsawayfrom
peeingmyself.

“Getdown,buddy.”Ipushhimslightly,andhejumpsdown,givingmetheopportunitytorolloff

thecouch.“Where’sDaddy?”Iaskhimaswewalkdownthetooquiethallway.“Travis?”Icallout,
butnooneanswers.“Hmm,weird.”

Iusethebathroomandgetmyselfsomethingtodrink.Weshouldbeleavingwithinthehourto

meetupwithhisfamily,soIknowhecan’tbetoofaraway.Idigintothefridgeandgrabanappleto
holdmeoveruntildinner.Iglancearoundandseethenewspaperlyingontopofthekitchentable.I
shufflethroughituntilthewordsCrawfordMarketinggrabsmyattention.

Well,well,well.Wouldn’tyaknow?LittleMissBlondiegotherselfintoalittlebitoflegaltrouble.

Ican’tevenfeelsorryforsomeonelikethat.Karma’sabitch,afterall.

“Viola?”IhearTravis’voicecallout.Ilookbehindmeandseehimalldressedupinablacksuit

andtie.Iswallow,needingtocontrolmybreathing.He’salwayslookedamazinginsuits,buttonight,
somethingisdifferent.Helooksincredible.Andhappy.

“Where’dyougo?”Iask.
“Ihadtorunacoupleoferrands.Whatareyoudoing?”
“Ijustwokeup,andthebabywashungry,sowefoundasnack,”Isayashewrapshisarmsaround

me,thebabybumpputtingmorespacebetweenusthanusual.

“Iseethat.”Hedipshisheadandtakesabiteoftheapple.“Wehavetoleavesoon,”hereminds

me.

“Iknow.Iwasjustlookingataveryinterestingarticleinthepaper.”Ipursemylips.
“Yeah,nothinglikebadpressforoneofthelargestfirmsinthestate.”
“MaybethatmeansRoyaltyMarketingwillbethenextbestthing.”Igrin,knowinghe’saboutto

scoldme.

“It’sKingMarketing,stoptryingtomakeRoyaltyMarketinghappen!”
IburstoutlaughingathisMeanGirlsreference.“Oh,myGod!Don’tmakemelaugh!Imight

pee!”

“So,thenIshouldn’tdothis?”Hebringshishandsdownandticklesmysides.Helaughsharder

themoreIsquirmandasmuchasItrytobackoutofhistrap,hedoesn’tletup.

“Iseethosechickflickshavereallybenefitedyou.”
Hefinallystopstorturingmeandpullsmeinclose.“Itwastheonlywaytofeelclosetoyoufor

thosesixmonths.ButafterDrewcaughtmecryingaloneinmyroomtoTheNotebook,hebasically
strippedmeofmymancard.”

“So,thenisthisthepartwhereyouaskmetoslowdanceintherainandgazeintomyeyesandsay

sweetnothingsinmyearallnightlong?”

Hechuckles,presseshislipstotheshellofmyear,andwhispers,“ItoldyouI’mnotlikethose

guysinyourromancebooks.I’llsayexactlywhatIwant,andwhatIwantistobendyouoverthis

kitchentableandfuckyouuntilyoucounttoten.Oruntilthetablebreaks,whicheverhappensfirst.”I
feelhiscockysmirkagainstmyneck,butIknowhe’sdeadserious.

“Ifourbabycomesoutswearingfilthywords,Iknowwho’stoblame.”
“I’llpleadthefifth.”Heleansdownandkissesmymouth.
Iwrapmyarmsaroundhimandpullhimcloser.“Howdidthishappen?”Iask,breakingthekiss

butstayingpressedagainsthim.“HowcouldIleaveyouforsixmonths?Whydidyouwaitforme?”

TheemotionsIfeelforTravisarebecomingtoomuchformetohandle.They’reoverflowing,

andIhavebeenfeelingmoreandmoreguiltyforwhatI’veputhimthrough.Everythingthat
happenedbetweenus,frombeingkidstoteenagers,towherewearenow.SomedaysIwakeupand
can’tunderstandhowwemadeithere.

“Whyareyoucrying,princess?”Herubshisthumbovermycheekandcatchesthetears.
IshrugbecauseIknowthewordswon’tcomeoutright.
“Everythingthathappenedneededtohappensowecouldmakeittowherewearerightnow.

Happy,inlove,abouttohaveababy...”Hesmilessowidethatitmakesmestarttearingupallover
again.“Ican’tevenbemadhowitwentdownbecauselookhowthingsendedup,princess.You,me,
ourbaby.It’sallI’veeverwanted,andIcouldn’taskforanythingmore.”

“Youtrulyareperfect,TravisKing.Doyouknowthat?”Iwipeawaytherestofmytearsand

smileupathim,admiringhowgoodhelookstonight.

“OnlywhenIhavemyotherhalfdoesitfeellikemylifeisperfect,andthat’sonlythankstoyou.”

Hetiltsupmychinandpresseshislipstomineonceagain.Damnhim.Icouldstayherewithhimall
day,andnevertireofthewayhekissesme.

“Ihavetofinishgettingready,”Igroanagainsthislips.“Idon’twanttoshowuplookinglikea

bloated,fatwhale.”ImakeafaceasIstepawayandhepatsmeontheasstohurryitup.

OnceI’mdressed,myhairiscurled,andmymakeupisdone,I’mnearlyoutofbreath.Thattook

moreenergythanIanticipated,andnowI’mreadyforanothernap.

“Thisbabyissuckingeveryounceoflifeoutofme,andit’snotevenbornyet,”Iwhine,grabbing

mypurseoffthetableandslippingintomyflats.Noheelsforme.

“He’sjustpreparingyouforwhenhe’shere,andyou’llneedtofunctionononlyacouplehours

ofsleepanight.”

“I’mtellingyou...it’sagirl,”Isayasheopensthedoorandhefollowsmeout.
“Iguesswe’llfindoutsoon.”

It’sbeenyearssinceI’veseenTravis’momanddad.Iwasexpectingittobeawkwardashell,but
surprisinglyitfeltlikeoldtimes.JustlikeeverythingwithTravis,itfeltasifnotimehadpassedatall.

Hismotherisecstaticaboutthebaby,andIknowshe’sgoingtomakeeveryefforttocomeand

visitusonceheorsheisborn.Hisfatherhaslostweight,andhe’spaleandnoticeablyweaker.Ifeel
forTravis,andalthoughtheirrelationshiphasbeenanythingbutasolidone,Ihopetheycanmendit
enoughforthesakeofourbaby.I’dloveforhisfathertoformsomekindofrelationshipwithour
childsincehisdaysaregoingtobenumbered.

Oncewefinishdinner,weorderdessertandstarttalkingaboutbabynames.Hismomgivesusa

listoffamilynames,incaseweneededanyinspiration.IwishIcouldsaythatweplantotakethelist
intoconsideration,butIcan’tfathomnamingourbabyafterTravis’greatuncle,SeamanGaylord
King.

Afterdinner,wepartways.It’salmost9:00p.m.andI’mnotsureI’llevenbeabletomakeitto

midnighttoopenthegenderrevealenvelopetogether.Drewisworking,andCourtneyispartying

withafewotherfriends,sowehavethehousetoourselves,butIjustwanttoloungeonthecouchand
readuntilIfallasleep.However,Travis,asusual,hasotherplans.

“Pleasetellmewherewe’regoing!”Ibegfromthepassengerseat.Hekeepshiseyesontheroad

andhislipsinatauntingsmirk.

“We’llbetheresoon,justbepatient.”
“Ihatesurprises,”Igroan,gettingasmileoutofhim.
Travispullsintoasuburbanneighborhoodandparksonthesideoftheroadinfrontofalarge

Victorianhouseonasmallhill.Thestreetlightsglowoverthesidewalk,andIcan’tplaceexactly
whereweare.

“Whatarewedoing?”
Heslidesoutofthecar,andIwatchashewalksaroundandopensmydoorforme.“Comeon.”
Confusedandalittleskeptical,Istepoutandlethimtakemyhand.Ashepullsmeup,heshutsthe

doorbehindmeandweaveshisfingersthroughmine.

“Travis,”Isayasheleadsmeupthesidewalk.“Whatisgoingon?”
Westartwalkingupthestepsthatleadupthehilltothestunninghouse.Thehouseispitchblack,

anditlookslikenooneishome.

Travisstopsusaboutmidwayuptheporchstairsandpositionsustowardthehouse.“So,whatdo

youthink?”

“Aboutwhat?”
“Thehouse.”
“Um...it’sgorgeous.Wholiveshere?”
Hedigsintohispocketandpullsoutasmallbox.Myheartbeginsracing,thumpinghardinmy

chestasIwatchhim.Heopensitslowly,andIswallowdowntheanxietyofwhatishappeningright
now.Istudythelittleboxinhispalmandwonderifit’swhatI’mthinking.

“Asofthismorning,wedo.”Heopenstheboxandpullsoutakeywitharedribbontiedthrough

it.

“Wait,what?”Igasp,myheadspinningathiswordsbecausetheymakenosense.We’vebeen

lookingatapartmentads,butnothingseemedtoworkout.“Idon’tunderstand.”

“Imadeanofferonthishouseaboutamonthago,anditjustclosedthismorning.”
“But...Ithoughtwewereapartmenthunting?”I’mthoroughlyconfused,andIdon’tknowifit’s

pregnancybrain,butmymindisaclusterfuckofemotions.

“Thatwasjusttoputyouoffofmysurprise.”Hesmiles.“Isawasignforanopenhouseandona

whimdecidedtogocheckitout.AssoonasIsawit,Iknewitwasmeantforyouandme.There’sa
largediningroom,afireplaceinthelivingroomsoyoucanreadnexttoit,alargebathtubsoyou
canrelaxoncethebaby’sasleep,andevenalittlenookwithbuilt-inbookshelvesforyourHarry
Pottercollection.Plus,therearefourbedrooms,whichmeanswecandecorateonetobethenursery.
Theneighborhoodisperfect.It’sclosetomyjob,hasgoodschools,andthere’sanicebigbackyard
forGryffandevenroomforaswingset.Ididn’tknowifyou’dcomebacktome,butIjustknewI
couldn’tletitgo.Iputanofferinthenextday,andtheyaccepted.”

“YouboughtitbeforeIwasevenbackhome?”Iask,shockedandcompletelyamazedbythisman

standinginfrontofme.

“Idid.”
“Ican’tbelieveyoudidthat.”Ican’tbelieveIeverdoubtedthisman’sloveforme.
“Iwanttogiveyoutheworld,Viola.Youdeserveeverythingandmore,andnowwithababyon

theway,Iwanttomakesureyou’rebothtakencareof.Nomoregames,nosecretsorlies.Iwantusto
beafamily.”

“Idon’tknowwhattosay...”Myeyesarewatering,andIcan’tgetahandleonmyemotions.

“Sayyou’llmoveinwithme,”hesays,placingthekeyinmyhandandwrappinghisfingers

aroundmyfist.“Ican’timaginelivingherewithoutyou.”

“Areyoukiddingme?”Isqueal,wrappingmyarmsaroundhisneckanddiggingmyfaceintohis

neck.“Icouldn’timagineanythingbetter.”

Hecupsmyfaceandcoversmymouthwithhis.Weshareaheatedkiss,passionateandsweet.I

lovethisman,andwithoutanydoubtinmymind,TravisKingwasalwaysmeanttobemine.

“Areyoureadytocomelookinside?”
Inodmyheadfuriously.“Yes!Oh,myGod,Ican’twait!”
Heleadsmetothedoorandgivesmethehonorofunlockingthedoor.IholdmybreathasIpush

itopenandlookinside.Heflicksthelightson,andIgasp.

“It’ssobeautiful,”Imurmur,tryingtolookateverythingatonce.“Ican’tbelievethis.”
“Comeon,letmeshowyoutherest.”Heleadsmeintothelivingroomandflicksonthelights,

andonceagainsurprisesme.There’sawhite-litChristmastreeandwhitelightshangingfromthe
ceiling.

“Whathaveyoudone?”Ispinaroundwiththebiggestgrinonmyface;Icanhardlycontain

myself.“It’sgorgeousinhere!”

Hegrabsmyhandandleadsmetothecenteroftheroom.WhenIlookup,Iseemistletoehanging

fromoneofthelightfixturesandgiggle.“Youknowyoudidn’tneedmistletoetogetakiss.”

Hedoesn’trespond,soIassumehedoesn’thearme.Ispinaround,readytorepeatmyself,but

whenIdo,he’sdownononekneeholdingoutaring.

“What—”
“Viola,myprincess.”
“Travis,whatareyoudoing?”Icovermymouthandsqueal.
Hegrabsmyotherhandandsmiles.“RememberearlierwhenIsaidthatIcouldn’taskfor

anythingmorebecauseIwasjustsohappytobewithyou?”

Inod,holdingbackmoretears.
“Well,Ilied.Thereisonemorethingthatwouldmakemethehappiestman.OnemorequestionI

needtoaskyou...”

Igasp.
“Iknowourrelationshipmayseemunconventionaltosome,butit’sourstory,andit’llalwaysbe

myfavoriteone,nomatterhowmanyotherchickflicksyoumakemewatchorhowmanyromance
novelsyouread.”

Ireleaseasob,laughinginbetween.
“Willyoumarryme,ViolaFisher?”
InodbecauseI’mtooovercomewithemotiontospeakactualwords.
“Yes?Isthatayes?”heclarifies,smilingupatme.
“Yes!”Ishout.Asheslidestheringupmyfinger,heplacesakissovermyknuckles.
“Youjustmademethehappiestguyintheworld.Doyouknowthat?”Hestandsupandcupsmy

face.“Thefuckinghappiest.”

“Andyousayyouaren’tliketheguysinmyromancebooks?”
Heleansinandkissesme,softlyatfirst,andthenopensmymouthwiderwithhistongueand

pressesdeeper.Igroanagainsthislips,andhegripsmywaisttighter.

“Dammit,Iwanttofuckyourightnow,”hewhispersagainstmylips,andIchuckle.“How’sthat

forromance?”

“I’dsayyounailedit.”
“So,youreadytofindoutifwe’rehavingalittleprinceorprincess?”
“Yes!”

CHAPTERTWENTY

TRAVIS

Ninemonthslater...

“Courtney!”Ibellowfrommyoffice.“Getinhere,please!”

“Yeah,boss?”sheasks,peekingherheadinside.She’sdressedupmorethanusual,whichisreally

nosurprisesinceit’sFriday.Drewalwaysstopsinandbringseveryonelunchattheendoftheweek.
It’soneofthearrangementsI’vehadtomaketogetCourtneyonmypermanentstaff.She’sprovedto
beanasset,andaftershehadstartedgettingoffersfromothercompanies,IknewIhadtoupmygame
tokeepherevenifthatmeantofferingDrewasbait.

“Ihaveaoneo’clockinterview,soanylunchshenanigansneedtobedonebeforethen.”
Shestepsinandrollshereyesatme.“Please,Travis.Drewhasmadeitveryclearthatwe’rejust

friends.”

“Butthathasn’tstoppedyoufromtrying.”Icurlmylipsupinamockingsmirk.Shehatesitwhen

IgivehershitforcrushingonDrew.

“Well,I’mnotaquitter,”shesays,shrugging.“Thosecuffsmightcomeouttoplayoneofthese

days.”

Isnortandshakemyheadather.“You’dhavemoreluckdevirginizingamonk.”
“Hey,don’ttemptme.”
“Trustme.I’mnot.”DrewisanidiotfornottakingCourtneyuponheroffers.She’sgorgeous

andsmartandlooksathimlikehe’sthebestthingsinceNutella.ButDrewisn’toverMiayet,whichis
adamnshame,sohekeepsCourtneyatfriend-zonedistance.AsfarasIknow,theyonlytalkandtext
eachotheraboutViola,thewedding,orthebaby.Courtneyisthemaidofhonor,andDrewismybest
man,whichgivesCourtneymoreexcusestobearoundhim.IonlyhopehegetsoverMiabeforeit’s
toolateandCourtneyhasmovedon.

“So,whereareyoutakingViolathisweekend?”It’sourfirstweekendawaysincethebabywas

bornsixmonthsagoinFebruary.Wehaven’thadadatenightsince,andwe’rereadytohavesome
alonetimewithouthavingtoscheduleitbetweenfeedings,diaperchanges,andafternoonnaps.

“That’sasurprise,”Iretort.
“C’mon,Iwon’ttell!”shepleads,butIknowbetter.Thosetwotelleachothereverything.AndIdo

meaneverything.

“Fine!”Shefoldsherarmsoverherchestandfrowns.“Butwhenyoucan’tfindthenetworkIP

addresstotheprinteragain,don’taskme!”Shestartswalkingbackoutofmyoffice.

Laughing,Iyellforhertocomeback,andItellher.“I’mtakingheruptoacabinatLakeTahoe.

NoTV,noInternet,nocellreception.Completelyoffthegrid,”Isaywithananxioussmile.“There’s
alandlineforemergencies,though.IknowViolawillworryifthere’snowaytocallhome.”

“Good,youtwoneedit.”
“Trustme,Iknow.IplantomakeViolaexhaustedforanentirelydifferentreasonthisweekend.”
“Yeah,yeah.You’regoingtohumplikerabbits.Sparemethedetails.”

“Who’shumpinglikerabbitsallweekend?”Drewasksfromthedoorway,andCourtneyspins

aroundsofast,Iswearshe’sgoingtofallonherass.

“YoursisterandTravis.They’regoinguptothecabintobangallweekend.”
Drewsighs.“That’sanimageI’llnevergetoutofmyhead,thankyou.”
“Untilyou’vewalkedinonthem,youhavenothingtocomplainabout,”Courtneysayswitha

visibleshiver.

“Well,that’swhatyougetforwalkingintomyofficewithoutknocking,”Ifireback,remembering

thatdayverywell.

“Sexontheclock,huh?HowcomewhenIsuggestpersonaltimeontheclock,Igettoldtogetout

ofyouroffice?”Courtneyquips.

“Getoutofmyoffice,”Isaywithoutabeat.
Drewlaughsandshakesabagoffoodather.“Ihaveyourweeklybonus.”
“Perfect,I’llbetakingmylunchbreakontheclock.”Sheturnsandglaresatme.
Anhourlater,Courtneyletsmeknowmyintervieweehasarrivedandsaidtopreparemyself.

Rollingmyeyesathercomment,Itellhertosendherin.Amomentlater,thedoorswingsopen,and
themomentIcatchsightofherblondehairanddesignerpurse,Icanbarelyhidethegaspthatreleases
frommymouth.

VIOLA

IlookattheclockandrealizeTraviswillbehomeanymoment.Ihaven’tstartedpackingyet,andI

knowhe’sgoingtowanttoleaveassoonashismotherarrives.

Grabbingasuitcasefromthecloset,Iglanceatmyreflectioninthemirrorandfrown.Ilooklike

ahotmess;Ihaven’tshoweredinthreedays,andmyhaircontainsdryshampooandbabyspitup.It’s
piledontopofmyheadwitharubberbandIfoundonthebathroomfloor.Sweatpantsandaholeyt-
shirtcompletemyless-than-glamorouslook.Ihaven’twornmakeupinmonths,andIcan’teven
rememberthelasttimeIworeclothesthatdidn’tcomewithastainoranelasticwaistband.Butthe
truthis,I’dratherbeathomewiththebabythanpushingpapersinacorporatesetting.Igetpaidin
snugglesandcoos,andIwouldn’tgiveupthosemomentsforawinninglotteryticket.

“Viola!”IhearTravisyellfromthestaircase.Iquicklyrushdownthehallwayandshushhim.

“Oops,sorry.”

“Youknowit’snaptime!”Iwhisper-hissashewalksupthestairs.
“Iknow,I’msorry.”Hewrapshisarmsaroundmywaistandpullsmeintohischest,pressinghis

lipsagainstmyforehead.“I’mjustsoexcitedtogetsomealonetimewithyouthisweekend.”

“Iamtoo,butI’mnervoustoleavethebaby.”
“Don’tbenervous.Everythingwillbefine.Thebabywillbefine.We’llbefine.Ipromise.”He

tiltsmychinupandpressesasoftkissonmylips.“Areyougoingtobeokay?”

“Yes,I’mjustnotfeelingwell.”
“It’snerves,princess.Weneedthis,okay?”
Ishakemyhead,knowinghe’sabsolutelyright.It’sbeensolongsincewe’vehadanightto

ourselves.“Ilooklikeadisaster.”

“You’regorgeousnomatterwhat.”Hekissesmeagain,andforamoment,Ilosemyselfinhim.

Breakingthekiss,hesays,“Nowgoshower.I’llfinishpacking.”

“How’dyouknowIdidn’tfinish?”
“Justhadafeeling,”heanswerswithamischievousgrin.
“AmIthatobvious?”

“Go,”hepushes.“I’llcheckonthebaby.”
Iwalkdownthehalltothelinenclosetandgrabacoupleoftowels.Beforeshuttingthedoor,I

alsograbanewrazor,becauseLordonlyknowshowlongit’sbeensinceI’veshaved.AsI’mwalking
backtowardourbedroom,IstopjustoutsideofthenurseryandlistentoTravis’softvoice.

“Well,helloprincess.”Ipeekinside,andheliftsheroutofthecrib.“Hey,mybeautifulgirl.”He

kissesherforeheadandshecoos.

Watchingashelaysheronthechangingtable,Ileanupagainstthedoorframeandadmiremy

amazingmanandhowwonderfulheiswithourdaughter.He’sacompletenatural,justlikeIknew
he’dbe,butIknowhehadhisownconcerns,consideringhisrelationshipwithhisfather.However,
thelovethatpoursoutofhimisinfectious.SometimesIcan’tevenbelieveafterallthistimethat
we’retogether,engagedwithanewbaby,andinourownhome.Itfeelstoogoodtobetrueattimes.

“You’regoingtospendtheweekendwithgrandma,aren’tyou?Yes,youtwoaregoingtohaveso

muchfun,butyoubetterbegoodforNana.Nopullingall-nightersagainandrefusingtoeatyour
cereal.”

Shekicksherlegsandstuffsahandinhermouthashechangesher.Ilovewatchingthem,even

whenit’severyday,normalstuff.Heturnsaroundandcatchesmestaring.

“Viola,”hesaysinawarningtone.“Gotakeashower.We’llbefine.”
Iscoffandwrinklemynose.“Fine.I’mgoing.”
OnceI’veshowered,shaved,putonalayerofmakeup,andfindcleanclothestowear,Ihead

downstairs,whereTravishassetoursuitcases.He’sinthelivingroomwithhismother,going
throughthelistofthingswewrotedownforher.Itrusthismother;Ido,butIdon’ttrustanyonealone
withherjustyet.

“Youlookbeautiful,”TravissaysasIsitdownnexttohimandreachforthebaby.Hehandsher

over,andIkissherchubbylittlecheek.

“Ifeellikeachangedwoman,”Isaywithalaugh.“Whoknewashowercouldfeelsogood?”
“Youtwoaregoingtohaveagreattime.Noworrieshere,okay?”Hismothertriestoreassure

me,butIstillfeelthenervesflutteringinmystomach.

“Yousureyou’llbeokayallweekend?”Iaskhismother.
“Ofcourse.Goandenjoyyourselves.Youtwodeserveit.”
“Thankyou,Mom,”Travissaysasheleadsustothefrontdoor.“I’llcallyouassoonaswe

arrive.”HegrabsourluggageasIsqueezethebabyonemoretime.

Reluctantly,Ihandherovertohismother,butIdon’treleasehertinylittlehand.“Don’tforgetshe

needstoberockedbeforebed.Andyou’llneedtoburpherforatleasttenminutesaftersheeats.Oh,
andwhenshetakesabath,sheneedsthesoapforsensitiveskin.”

Hismothernodsandsmiles,knowingthatI’mrepeatingmyselfonceagain.
“Viola,”Traviswarnsinadeepvoice.“They’regoingtobejustfine.”
“Okay,justonemorekiss.”
Ipressmylipstohercheekandthenherforeheadandthenherothercheek.Iinhaleherscent

becauseIjustcan’tgetenough.“Seeyouinacoupleofdays,Ginny.Iloveyou.”

CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE

TRAVIS

“Sowherearewegoing?”Violaasks,fidgetinginherseataswehitthehighway.

“Someplacequiet,withnodistractionsorotherpeoplearound.”
“Where’sthat?”
Ishakemyhead.
“C’mon,”shewhines.“Justalittlehint.”
“Let’sjustsay...weshouldn’thavebotheredpackingclothes,because—”
“BecauseyouplantofuckmesixwaystoSunday?”shefinishesformewithahopefulsmile.
“Iplantohaveyoucountinghigherthansix,princess.”Ismirkoverather,grabbingherhandin

mineandplacingakissoverherknuckles.“Loudly,too.”

“Okay,butIhopeyouplantoletmenapinbetweenthistime,”shequips,referringtothefirst

timewehadsexafterGinnywasborn.She’donlybeentwomonthsoldandwasn’tsleepinglonger
thanthreehoursatatime.We’dtakenadvantageofanearlybedtimeandmadeloveallnightlong.
Beforeweevenrealizedit,Ginnyhadsleptsixhoursstraightthatnight.Violawassotired;shecould
barelykeephereyesopen,muchlesswalk.

“Nopromises.”
“Doyoureallythinkshe’llbeokay?She’sgoingtowonderwhywe’regonesolong.”
“She’sgoingtobejustfine,Viola.”IknowViola’sgoingtobeworriedallweekend,soI’llneed

tokeepdistractingher.“Oh,you’llneverguesswhowalkedintomyofficetodayforaninterview.”
I’dforgottenallaboutituntilnow.

“Who?”Shefurrowsherbrows,andIhopeIdidn’tmakeamistakeonmentioningit.
“AlyssaCrawford.”
“Nofuckingway!”Herjawdrops.
“Yup.Stilettosandall.”
Shelaughs,andthesweetsoundmakesmesmile.“What’dyousaytoher?”
“Iaskedherwhatthehellshewasdoingthere,andonceshesaidshewaslookingforajob,Itold

hertogetthefuckout,thattherewasnowayinhellIwouldeverhireher.Then,ofcourse,she
offeredmesomespecialincentives,andthat’swhenCourtneygladlykickedherassout.”

“Jesus.”Shesighs.“Girlhasnoclass.”
“Shehasnodignity.”
“Maybeshe’sjustoneofthoserichgirlsthat’smisunderstood.Youknow,likeParisHilton.”
“Youcan’tbeseriousrightnow.”Inarrowmyeyesather,wonderingifsleepdeprivationhas

madeherlosehermind.

“I’msureshegrewupinaweirdenvironment,andit’staintedher.Infact,Ifeelsorryforher.”
“Yeah?”Iarchabrow.“AndwhataboutMia?Isshemisunderstoodtoo?”Iaskwithaslygrin.
Shecocksherheadatmeandscowls.“FuckMia.She’sjustapsychothatneedsherteeth

rearranged.”

Ilaugh,anditfeelsgoodtobealonewithheragainafterallthistime.Iloveourlittlefamilyand

Ginnymorethananything,butsometimesIneedViolaandmejusttobeViolaandmeagain.

ThinkingbacktowhenViolawentintolabormakesmesmile.Wehadgoneoverpossiblebaby

girlnamesforweeks,butnothingwassetinstonejustyet.Iknewshewantedsomethingmeaningful
andspecial.Thinkingitover,Iknewthatanynameshepicked,whetheritbefromHarryPotteror
anotheroneofherfavoritebooks,wouldbeperfectforus.Growingup,Violawasgluedtoher
books,andthat’swhatmademefallforherinthefirstplace.Shewasabooknerdandproudofit,and
Ilovedthatabouther.Theymadeherwhosheisandthefactthatshestillquotesiteverychanceshe
getsletsmeknowwemadetherightchoice.

Twohourslater,wefinallypulluptothecabinIrented.It’sacozytwo-bedroomloghousein

LakeTahoewithastonefireplace,smallkitchenette,andcomplimentaryhottubonthebackporch.

“Oh,myGod!It’ssocute!”Violasquealsassoonaswe’reinside.Isetourluggagedownand

grabherhand.

“Let’stakeaquicktour.”Ileadheraround,recognizingmostofitfromthepicturesIsawonline.
“Travis,”shesays,tiltingherheadupatme,“Iloveit.It’sperfect.”
Ismilebackandcupherface.“Itis.Andsoareyou.”Ipressmymouthtohersandpartherlips

withmytongue.Shepressesherbodyintomine,andIknowI’mnotgoingtobeabletostopifwego
anyfurther.

“Areyouhungry?”Iaskagainstherlips,butsheignoresmeandwrapsherarmsaroundmyneck,

pullingmedeeperagainsther.I’lltakethatasanothen.

Sheshufflesherhandsdowntomyshirtandstartsliftingitup.Itakethehintandseparateusjust

enoughtothrowitoff.Shereleasesamoanagainstmylips,drivingmewilderthanever.God,itfeels
likeit’sbeensolongsincewe’vebeenabletobealone.Thepassionhasnevercooleddownbetween
us,nomatterhowmanymilesapartwewere.

“I’vemissedthis,”shewhispers.
“Metoo,princess.Fuck,Iwantyousobad.”Iwrapahandaroundherneck,claimingherbodyas

mine.

Shebringsherhandsdownandliftshershirtupandoverherhead.Sneakingaglanceather,I

smilewhenIseeherbreastsondisplay.Tooimpatienttowaitforhertoremoveherbra,Ipullit
downandcupherlusciousbreasts.Herheadfallsbackonawhimper,andIknowshelovesitasmuch
asIdo.

I’mhardandthrobbingundermyjeans.Idon’tthinkI’llbeabletobegentlewithher,oreventake

mytimelikeIwantedto.Thedesireistoostrongtocontrol.

Icoverhertautnippleswithmymouthandsuckonthemuntilshedigshernailsintomyarm.I

knowshelikesitrough,buteversincethebaby,they’vebeenextrasensitive.

“Ican’twait,princess.Iwanttokissandtouchyoueverywhere,butIdon’tknowthatIcanhold

back.”Iplacekissesalongherneckandinhalehersweetscent.

“Idon’twantyoutoholdback.Ineedit,”shewhispers,almostasifshe’sbeggingmeforit.“I

needyou.”

“Youhaveme,Viola.Always.”
Reachingdown,shetugsatmyzipper.Icanbarelytakeitanymore.AsIundomyjeans,pullthem

downwithmyboxershorts,andfreemycockintoherpalm,shewrapsherhandsaroundherback
andunclaspsherbra.AssoonasI’mstrippeddowntonothing,shebeginsstrokingme,andIsqueeze
herbreastsonceagain.Afterafewtorturousmoments,Ispinheraroundandbendheroverthearm
ofthecouch.

Shesqueals,butquicklyregainsherfooting.Kneelingbehindher,Ipullherjeansandpanties

downuntilshe’sabletokickthemoff.Ispreadherlegsapartandslidemyhandsupherthighs.

Cuppingherass,IbendheroverfurtheruntilIseethoseprettypinklipsofhers.

Whenshearchesherback,whichpushesherassoutfartherforme,Itakethatasaninviteand

slidemytongueupherslit.SheshiversandIdoitoverandoveruntilshebegsformore.

Ilovethetasteofherandcan’tgetenough.Ipushonefingerinsideher,andthenanother.Sucking

onherclit,herhipsstartgoingwildasshesearchesforherrelease.

“It’snotgoingtobethateasy,princess,”Isay,slowingmyrhythm.Ipullhercheeksfurtherapart

anddivebackin,wantingtofeelherreleaseonmytongue.

“Yesyesyes...”shemuttersagainstthecushions.Iknowshe’sabouttolosehermind.Ipushtwo

fingersinsideagainandworkheruntilshe’sreadytocollapse.“Ohmygod...fuck,yes.”

“Iwanttohearyou,Viola.Loud.”
ShegrindshersweetassagainstmyfaceuntilIfeelherbodytense.“One!”
Ismile,knowingit’sthefirstofmanytonight.Shetastessofuckingsweetasshecomesonmy

tongue.Myfingersslowdown,butI’mnotremotelyclosetobeingfinishedwithher.Istandupand
repositionher,sowe’reangledjustright.Grippingherhips,Ipalmmycockandstrokeitafewtimes
beforeslidinginsideher.Atfirst,slowanddeep.Hermoansescalatelouderandlouderwitheach
thrust.ThenIleanoverherbodyandcupherbreastswithbothhandsasIspeedupmypaceandfeel
everyinchpushinsideher—fastanddeep,withnoapologies.She’smine,andI’mclaimingallofher.

Shepantsandmoansandbegs.ThisistheViolaI’vemissed.Ilovewatchingherbeamotherto

ourdaughter,andshe’sbecomeanamazingpartner,butifthere’sonethingthat’sneverfizzled
betweenus,it’sthechemistryweshare.Theall-encompassing,must-have-you-now,love-you-more-
than-ever-beforekindofchemistry.Adecade’sworthofbuilt-uptension,anexplosiveheatthat’s
undeniable.

Iplaceahandonherbackandslideitupherspine.Fistingherhair,Ipulluntilherheadfallsback

andIcanseetheoutlineofherthroat.Shemoanslouder,whichonlyencouragesmydeepthrusts.I
lovethewayherbodylooksrightnow,herskinsoftandwarm,herarmssprawledoutinfrontofher
asshetriestoregulateherbreathing,butit’snouse.Idon’tplantobefinishedwithheranytimesoon.

“Doyourememberourfirsttime?”Igrowl,pullingherbodyback,soshe’sflushagainstmine.I

pressmylipstoherear.“Thatfirsttimenearlybrokeme,princess.Fuck,Ihadwantedyousobadfor
solong.”

“Iremember,”sheresponds,andIthrustharder.“Irememberyougotreallyemotionalandstarted

crying.Thenyouaskedifyoucouldholdmeallnight.”

Thecornerofherlipstiltup,andIknowshe’senjoyingmessingwithme.
“Yourmouthisgoingtogetyouintrouble,”Iwarn.
“Itusuallydoes.”
IcupherassandspreadhercheeksasIthrustdeeperandharderuntilshecontinuescountingonce

again.Sheliesacrossthearmofthecouchagain,butIdon’tletherrest.Notjustyet.

Wrappingmyarmaroundherwaist,myfingersfindherpussyandbeginrubbingherclit.Ilove

howwetshegetsforme.Thesweetsmellofherarousallingers,andIknowshe’sgoingtolose
herselfatanymoment.

Ipullbackandturnheraround,soshe’sagainstmychest.Icupahandaroundherneckandpull

hermouthtomine.MyfingersfindherclitagainasIpartherlipswithmytongue.Itneverfeelslike
enoughwithher;Ialwayscravemoreofher.Shesqueezesherhandsaroundmybicepsasshehangs
onforcontrol.

“Whydoyouenjoytorturingme?”sheasksagainstmylips.Ismile,knowingshe’senjoying

everybitofitjustasIam.

“Whydoyoudefyme,princess?GivemewhatIwant,andwe’llbothbehappy.”Ipressmyfinger

deeperinsideher.

“I’mnotlettingyouwinthateasy,King.”Shetriesclosingherlegs,butIblockherwithmyknee.
“Playbytherules,andwe’llbothwin,”IwarnasIpartherlegsopenagain.
“Idon’ttrustyourrules.”Shesmirks.IfeelherbodytensingthedeeperIpushinsideher,andI

can’twaitanothersecondtobeinsideheragain.

“Good.”Igrin.“Youshouldn’t.”Wrappingmyarmsaroundherbodyandcuppingherasswith

bothhands,Iliftherbodyupuntilbothlegswraparoundmywaist.Shesquealsassheclingstomy
neckandgrindsherpussyagainstmyshaft.

“Putmedown!”
“Notuntilyousaythemagicwords,”ItauntasIcarryherovertothefireplace.
“Fuckoff,Travis?”
Ismackmyhandacrossherasscheek,andshesqueals.“That’swhatyougetforbreakingthe

rules,princess.”

“Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?”
Ilowerhertothefloornexttothefireplaceandclimbontopofher.“Thatsmartmouthofyours

isgoingtogetyouintotrouble.Areyoureadytopaytheprice?”

“Givemeyourbest,King.”
“Carpetburndidlookgoodonyou,especiallysinceIwastheonewhoputitthere.”Ilowermy

mouthtoherneckandkissdownthelengthofherjaw.ShearchesherbackasImakemywaydown
herchestandwrapmylipsaroundhernipple.Herhandsfindmyhair,andassheweavesherfingers
through,Iswirlmytonguearoundherothernippleandpullitintomymouth.

“God,yes!”shecriesout,pushingherbreastdeeperintomymouth.
Ilowermyhandandslideafingerinsideheronceagain.Sheclenchesherpussy,andIslide

anotheroneinside.Ilovehearingherbegforit,andIdon’tplantostopuntilshedoes.

“Letmehearyou,Viola,”Igrowl,rubbingthepadofmythumbagainstherclitasIpushdeeper

inside.“Iwanttohearyoubegforit.”

“I’mnotbeggingforit.Moveaside,andI’lldoitmyself.”Sheshakesherhips,tryingtogetout

ofmygrip.

“Defyingmeonlymakesmeharder,princess.”IpressmyhipsagainsthersasIgripmyhand

aroundherwrist,stoppingherfromgoinglower.“Youshouldknowthatbynow.”

“Andyoushouldknowbetterthantodenyme.”Shebitesherlowerlip,andIknowshe’senjoying

teasingthehelloutofme.Shelowersherhandandpalmsmycock,butwhenIarchmyhipsintoher,
shestopsme.

“Goddammit,Viola,”Ihiss,pullingherbottomlipinbetweenmyteeth.“You’regoingtopayfor

thatone.”

Igrabbothofherwristsandpushthemaboveherhead.Ipartherlegswithmyknee,andonceher

legswraparoundmywaist,Islideinsideher.Herheadfallsback,andIthrustdeeper,waitingtohear
thatthroatymoan.Releasingherwrists,Iwrapahandaroundthebackofherneckandpullhermouth
tomine.Shemoansagainstmylipsandmypaceincreases,feelingherclencharoundmycockasthe
intensitybuilds.Thewayherbodyrespondstomine,andthewayIcan’tgetenoughofher,letsme
knowwithoutadoubtthatshewasmadeforme,andIwasmadeforher.Everythingthathappened
betweenushasbuiltuptomomentsjustlikethis.Pureperfection.

Ourbodiesspeaklouderthanourwordsevercould.“Ican’timaginewhatmylifewouldbelike

withoutyouinit.”

“It’dbedark,cold,andpointless,”shesays,thecornerofherlipstiltingup.
“Alwaysasmartass.”
“Always.”

“AndIwouldn’thaveitanyotherway.Iloveyou,ViolaFisher.”Ikissheranddon’tletgountil

herbodygivesinandshereleasesaroundmycock.

“Iloveyoutoo,TravisKing.”Herbodyshakes,andshescreams,clawinghernailsintomyarms

asshecontinuescounting.Andit’sthesweetestfuckingsoundintheentireworld.

Weenduphuddledunderablanket,andwhenIwakeup,Violaissoundasleepatmyside.Idecide

toputacoupleoflogsonthefire,sotheroomheatsupbeforeshewakesup.Idon’tplantoallow
Violatogetdresseduntilwehavetoleave.Thisweekendisallaboutus,andIplanontakingfull
advantage.

Imadesurethefridgeandcupboardswerestockedbeforewearrived.AsI’mdiggingaroundfor

somethingtofeedher,Ifeelherarmswraparoundmywaist.Turningaround,Iseeshe’swrappedup
inablanket,herhairawildmess,andhereyesglassedover.

“Whatareyoudoing?”sheasks,lookingupatme.
Wrappingmyarmsaroundher,Ipullherbodyintomineandkissthetopofhernose.“Looking

forsomethingtomakeforyoutoeat.You’regoingtoneedalltheenergyyoucanget.”

“Mm...soyourmasterplanistofeedandfuckmeallweekend?”
“Yes.”Ismile.“Didn’tyougetthememo?”
Shechucklesandnods.“Betterfeedmegoodthen.”

Thenexttwodaysflyby,andasmuchasImissGinny,Iwishwehadmoretime.Idevouredevery
inchofViolaoneverysurfaceofthecabin:theshower,kitchencounter,diningroomtable,andthe
hottub.

“Well,I’dsaywegotourmoney’sworth,”ViolasaysasIcarrytheluggagetothedoorwhere

she’swaitingforme.

“Consideringwebrokethebedinfourplaces,Iimaginethey’llbesendingabill.”
Shechucklesatthememory,asIwrapmyarmaroundherandkissheroncemorebeforetaking

theluggageouttothecar.Shefollowsmeout,lookingmoreexhaustedthanwhenwearrived,butI
knowitwasexactlywhatwebothneeded.

Oncetheluggageispackedandthecarisloaded,Ileanmybackagainstthecarandsmileasshe

standsbetweenmylegs.ThiswasaweekendI’llneverforget,andIcan’twaittomarryherandmake
hermywife.

“Thiswasaperfectweekend,”shesays,restingherheadagainstmychest.
“Itreallywas,”Iagree.“However,Ithinkwecantopitonthehoneymoon.”
“Yeah?”
Inodincertainty.“Milehighclub.Sexonthebeach.Sexintheocean.Sexinanoldchurch.”
“Achurch?”sheexclaims,narrowinghereyesatmeindisapproval.
“Whynot?It’sourhoneymoon.”Ishrugcasually.“Speakingof...arewegoingtosetadatesoon?

Nowthatthefirmisupandrunning,andGinnyisgettingbigger,Ithinkit’stime.Don’tyou?”

Shelooksupatmeandpullsherlipsintohermouth,andIworryI’vesaidthewrongthing.Istudy

herfaceandseeconcernwrittenallover,andimmediatelythinktheworst.

“Haveyouchangedyourmind?”
“No!Nothinglikethat,”shesays.“Iloveyou,andofcourseIwanttomarryyou.”
“Thenwhatisit?”Ibrushastrandofhairoffherface,andsheshivers.
“Well...”Shetakesadeepbreath.“Howdoyoufeelaboutplanningitninemonthsout?”
“IwouldmarryyoutomorrowifIcould,butIwanttogiveyoutheweddingofyourdreams,so

whetherit’samonthfromnowornine,I’mallin.”

“Good.”Shesmiles.“Becauseinninemonths,we’llhaveourhandsprettyfull.”

InarrowmyeyesasInoticetheglowonhercheeksanditfinallyhitsme.
Ho-lyshit.

EPILOGUE

VIOLA

Oneyearlater...

Onceuponatime,inafarawayland,livedayoungprincesswhoawaitedaprincewhowouldgive

hereverythingsheeverdreamedof...love,passion,loyalty.He’dbethesweetest,kindest,most
heartwarminggentlemanagirlcouldeveraskfor.Andhe’dbeperfect.

...Andheis.TravisKing,myprincecharming.
Icanhardlybelieveit’shere.
Buthereweare,justtwoweeksuntilwesayIdo.
It’sbeenalmosttwoyearssinceTravisproposed,andonlythreemonthssincethearrivalofbaby

James.Yes,wecontinuedwithourtheme,evenifTravisreallypushedforanamefromBridgetJones.
He’sneverwinningthatbattle.

WefinallysetadateforafallweddinginSeptember,andeventhoughI’mmorethanreadyto

becomeMrs.TravisKing,fittingintomyweddingdressafterhavingababyhasstressedmeout.That
ledtostresseating,whichultimatelyledtomorestressaboutnotfittingintotheweddingdress.

Travishasbeenamazingthroughitall,andnomatterhowcrazymyhormoneswere,orhow

stubbornIwasonweddingdetails,he’sstayedbymyside.Ididn’tthinkitwaspossible,butIlovehim
morenowthanIeverhavebefore.He’sanincrediblefather,andwatchinghimwithourkidsisadaily
reminderofhowluckyIam.

AsIlieinbedwithJamesononesideofmeafteranearlymorningfeeding,andGinnyonthe

otherside,squeezedbetweenTravisandme,it’seasytoseehowmuchourliveshavechangedinjust
twoyears.KingMarketingwasnamedasoneofFortune’s100Fastest-GrowingCompaniesofthe
Year,whichwasasurpriseandablessing.Theamountofexposurethecompanyreceivedwasbeyond
anythingweeverimagined.Smallandlargebusinessesfromeverycornerofthemaphavecontracted
ourservices.BeforeJameswasborn,IhelpedoutatthefirmwhenIcould,butsinceGinnyisstill
littletoo,I’vechosentobethemostkickassstay-at-homemomever,andIloveeveryminuteofit.
I’veevenstartedbloggingaboutmommystuffandbooks—twoofmybiggestpassions.

Betweendiaperchangesandconstantlypickinguptoys,Courtney’sdraggedmetowedding

vendorevents,dressfittings,caketastings,andworseofthemall,shoeshopping.Idon’tmean
metaphorically,buthasdraggedmeoutofthehouse,pushedmeintothecar,andheldmyhandaswe
walkedintomylastdressfitting.

“Asmymaidofhonor,Iexpectyoutokeepallcarbsawayfrommeuntilthewedding.Gotit?”I

sayasthebridalstylistlacesmeup.“It’llbeamiracleifmyboobscansqueezeintothis.”

Officiallyunabletobreathe,thestylistgetsmeinmydress.It’snotover-the-topglamlike

Courtneytriedtomakemewear,butsweetandsimple.Astraplesssweetheartneckline,embroidered
bodice,andlaceskirt.IfIevenlookatacheeseburger,Iwillbustoutofthisthing,butthemomentI
triediton,IknewitwasthedressI’dbewearingwhenIstoodinfrontofTravisKingtosay,“Ido.”

“Oh,youlooksobeautiful,”mymothergushes,dabbingatissueunderhereyes.Ginnyissitting

onherlapasJamessleepsinhiscarseatnexttoherfeet.Shelovesbeingagrandma,evenifshe

refusestobecalledone.

“Youthinkso?Itlooksokay?”Iask,chewingonmylowerlip.AllIcanthinkaboutisthestretch

marksonmyboobsandthedarkcirclesundermyeyes.“Ifeellikeawhale,”Ipout.

“Nothingagoodfacialandvaginasteamcan’tfix,”Courtneyassuresme,cheerfully.Myface

turnsredasthestylistlooksaway,pretendingshedoesn’texistrightnow.

“Court!”Iscold,frowning.“Don’tmakemelaugh.I’llpopabutton.”
“Therearenobuttons,”shedeadpans.
Iflashherapointedlook,andshelaughs.
“Doyouwanttotryitonwithyourveil?”thestylistasks,andInodwithaneagersmile.Theveil

ismyfavoriteaccessory—agorgeouslacethatreachesmyanklesbutalsodoublesasaheadband.I
plantotakeitoffafterpicturesandwearonlytheheadbandpieceforthereception.

“Don’tforgettheshoes,”Courtneysaysasshegrabsthemoutofthebox.Myfeetswelledup

duringmylasttrimester,soshoeshoppingwasanightmare.Iendedupfindingapairoflace,peep
toeheels,andbestofall,they’resupercomfortable.However,Ididsizeup,soIbasicallylooklike
BigFoot.

OnceI’mcompletelyputtogetherwithjewelry,shoes,veilandall,Isteponthepedestalandlook

atmyselfinthemirrors.Ihardlyrecognizethewomanwhostaresbackatme.Showered,hair
brushed,andevenalittlemakeupontoday,versusthesporty-spicelookI’vemanagedtonail.

Watchingeveryone’sreactionsinthemirror,IseeCourtneysnappingpicturesofmeandsmiling

asherfingersflyoverthescreen.Exceptshe’snotsmilingaboutme.She’ssmilingaboutsomething
else.

“Whoareyousendingthosepicturesto?”Iask,knowingshe’suptosomething.
“JustDrew.ItoldhimI’dgivehimapreviewofyourdress.”
“He’snotgoingtocarewhatmydresslookslike,Court.”
“Yes,hedoes!Hetoldmeso.”
Rollingmyeyes,Imutter,“Doubtit.”Butshe’stooinvolvedonherphonetonotice.Eversince

sheandDrewbecameroommates,theytextnonstoplikeapairofteenagegirls.Sheswearsupand
downthatthey’reonlyfriends,whichIactuallybelieve,consideringDrewisn’tonetosleeparound,
butCourtneyistheoneI’mmostworriedabout.Hercrushhasonlydeepenedovertheyears,and
Drewhasshownabsolutelyzerointerestinanythingmorethanaplatonicfriendship.Infact,
sometimesIwonderifDrewevenrealizesshehasavagina.Hetreatsherlikeoneoftheguys,or
rather,asanothersister.Sheclaimstobeoverit,butIknowbetter.Iseethewayshelooksathim.Isee
howgiddyshegetswhenherespondstohertextmessages,andIseethehopeinhereyes,thatoneday
he’llstopseeingherashislittlesister ’sbestfriend.

Oncethefittingisover,andI’vemanagedtopeelmyselfoutofmySpanx,wemeetupwithTravis

andDrewforalatelunch.MyparentsareoverthemoonaboutTravisandmefinallygettingmarried,
andtheylovebeinggrandparentsbuthatethatwedidn’tmoveclosertothem.I’mmorethanfinewith
it,consideringmymotherisjustasbadasCourtneyontheweddingplanningdetails.SometimesI
wonderwhoseweddingitactuallyis.

“There’smygorgeousbride-to-be,”Travissayswithabeamingsmile.HeengulfsGinnyandme

inahugandthengrabsJames’carseatfrommyachingarm.“How’deverythinggo?”

Igivehimawide-eyedlookthattellshimeverythingheneedstoknow.
“Thatgood,huh?”Hesmirks.Hetakesmyhandandleadsustothetablehe’ssavedforusall.

OnceGinnyissettledinherhighchair,IunbuckleJamesandswaddlehimtomychest.Myparentsand
Courtneyfindtheirseats,andwhenthewaitresscomestoaskforourdrinkorder,Irealizethere’s
stillanemptychair.

“Hey,where’sDrew?”IaskTravis.Helooksdownathismenu,andIcantellbythewayhislips

twitch,something’sup.

“He’sonhisway.Hehadtodosomethingquick.”
Courtneyleansoverandspeaksinmyearsonooneelsecanhearher.“Bythenoisescoming

fromhislongshowerthismorning,I’dsayhedoesn’tdoanythingquick.”Ishootheradisgusted
lookassheflashesmeasmile.

“Andtheregoesmyappetite.”
Shelaughsandwinksatme.SometimesIwishthey’djustfuckandgetitoverwith.Whatever

gamethey’replayingisgettingalittleoutofhand.

“So,sincecarbsareoutofthequestion,lookslikeIcanhavewaterandlettuce.”
IglanceoveratCourtney,wonderingifsheheardme,andherfaceiswhiteasaghost.
“Holyfuckingshit,”shemutters,lookingbehindme.
“What?”Iturnaroundtowhereshe’sstaring,andgaspwhenIseewhatshe’sfreakingoutabout.

“Whatthehellishedoingherewithher?”Imutter,gettingTravis’attention.

“Who?”heasks,turninghishead.HiseyeswidenasthenextwordscomefromCourtney’smouth.
“MiaFuckingMontgomery.”

COMINGNEXT

ThisconcludesTravis&Viola’sstory,butyou’llgetmoreofthem,

Ginny,&Jamesinbook3,Checkmate:ThisisReckless,afriendsto

loversromancefeaturingDrew&Courtney!

You’recordiallyinvitedtoattendtheKingwedding

February2017

AddittoyourTBR

here

Preorder

here

Checkmate:ThisisReckless

(Afriendstoloversromance)

ACheckmateDuetSeries,book1

DrewFisheristhetypeofguyeverygirlwants.

Noblepoliceofficerbyday,charmingprincebynight.
Hehasnoideatheeffecthehasonwomen,especiallyme—hislittlesister’sbestfriend.
I’mtheblondeSouthernbellewholivesuptothecliché,exceptIhavemyownquirks.I’msmart

asawhip,canchangemyownoil,andreciteThePledgeofAllegiancebackward,buthedoesn’tsee
thatgirl.

It’dbeeasiertoforgethimifhewasn’tmyroommateandifthefirstthingIsawinthemorning

wasn'thisshirtlessbodycoveredintattoos.I’vecrushedonhimsincethedaywemet,buthe’smadeit
perfectlyclearwherewestand.Justfriends.

IknowIneedtomoveonandacceptthathisfeelingswillneverbemutual,buteverydayhe

smilesatme,I’mleftdreamingofwhatif.

Hehasgirlissues,andI’vegotacrushIcan’tdeny.
We’refriends,butIwantmore.
Onedrunkenhookupleavesuswithmuchmorethanaplatonicfriendship.Pretendingitnever

happenedprovestobemoredifficultthananticipated.

Acrazyex-girlfriend,adangerouswarofstolenglances,andpassionatekissesleadstothemost

recklessbattleyet.Iwon’tbeapawninhisgame,butI’llplaybyhisrulesifitwillshowhimI’mthe
oneworthbreakingthemfor.

Checkmate,PrinceCharming.

Preorder

here

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

KennedyFoxisaduoofbestsellingauthors

whosharealoveofYou’veGotMailandTheHoliday.Whentheyaren’t
bondingoverromanticcomedies,theyliketobrainstormnewbookideas.
Oneday,theydecidedtocollaborateunderapseudonymandhavesome
funcreatingnewcharactersthat’llmakeyourladybitstingleandyour
heartmelt.Ifyouenjoyromancestorieswithsexy,tattooedalphamales
andsmart,quirky,independentwomen,thenaKennedyFoxbookisfor
you!They’relookingforwardtobringingyoumanymorestoriestofallin
lovewith!

Placestostalkus:

Instagram.com/kennedyfoxbooks

Twitter@kennedyfoxbooks

Facebook.com/kennedyfoxbooks

http://www.kennedyfoxbooks.com

kennedyfoxbooks@gmail.com

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Joinourreadergroup,

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Wehavesomanypeopletothankwhohavehelpedusthroughthisamazingjourney.Gratefulbeyond
wordstoeveryonewhohasbeenwithussincethebeginningandcontinuestobe.Wehavemetso
manywonderfulreadersandbloggersandadorethefriendshipswe’vemade.Thankyouforbeingon
#TeamTraviola!

Thankyoutoourreadersforgivingusachanceandpickingupournewrelease!Thankyouto

everyonewhohasleftareview,sentamessage,orleftusacomment.Itmeanstheworldtous!!

ThankyoutoourCheckmateKingdomreadergroup(join

here

)forbeingsofuntohangout

with!Weloveyourcomments,messages,andfunchats!#TheKingReturns

Thankyoutooureditors,Kiezha(LibrumArtisEditorialService)andMitziCarroll,our

photographerandcoverdesigner,SaraEirew,andChristineStanleyfromourPRcompany,TheHype
PR.We’resogratefultohaveyouonourteam!

Thankyoutoourgenerousbetareaderswhoreadearlycopies,sparedyourtimetohelpuswork

throughissues,andsharedyourexcitementwithus!JackieAshmead,MelissaTeo,SophieBroughton
—weloveyougirlies!

Hugethankstoeveryonewhoreadanadvancedreviewcopy,postedgorgeousedits/images,and

helpedspreadthelove.Wetrulyappreciateyou!

ShoutouttoBenitafrom

BookBeau

(theoriginalbooksleeve)!ThankyouforbeingSOsweetto

usandbeingapartofthereadingcommunity.Yourkindnessshinesthroughandwehaveloved
workingwithyou.(Instagram@bookbeau)

Lastly,thankyoutoourfamiliesforputtingupwithourlatenights,ourzombie-likeappearances,

andourneedforconstantcoffeerefills.Weloveyou!

StaytunedformoreKennedyFoxbookscomingyourway!
MischiefManaged,
-Kennedy

Document Outline

CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
EPILOGUE
COMING NEXT
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

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