Women Tell You

How to Meet

Women

Edited by Jon Jensen, R.A.

Introduction

You always wanted to be a spy, right? Finding out the top-secret

information, the stuff that’s really, really valuable, the stuff that will

make all the difference. Then bring back that top secret informa-

tion and use it to win the war.

That’s what this book is. It’s the top secret information

that’s been kept from guys far too long. It’s the information

every guy needs to pick up the woman of their dreams.

Sure, there are other books on meeting women, but they are

always written by some guy who claims he has met and bedded

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Introduction

thousands of women. He claims that his tricks will work for you.

But how can they? You’re different from every other guy. Maybe

that guy is taller than you are. Maybe he’s thinner, or drives a bet-

ter car. Maybe he’s attracted to different kinds of women than you

are. How are his techniques ever going to help you?

So I took a different approach. Hey, I’ve picked up my share of

women over the years, and it’s been great. I have a few tips up my

sleeve that have worked magic for me, but I don’t think they’ll

work for everyone. Instead I set out to have WOMEN talk about

THEIR experiences being picked up. We know these techniques

worked because they WORKED ON THESE WOMEN.

In this book women tell you how to pick them up. They tell you

where to pick them up, when to pick them up, and how you should

never try to pick them up.

By the way, I

underlined

things that I think every guy should know.

Good luck out there!

Jon Jensen, R.A.

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Introduction

The Women

Kelly: Mid 20s, light blond and blue eyes, athletic, dates tons

but never seems to make it to the second date. This

love-em-and-leave-em gal has traveled the world and

loves the online dating scene.

Lori: Blond, mid 30s but looks like she’s straight out of

college. Has a great job but plays it cool – never lets

the guys she picks up know that she made more

money this year than they’ll make in the next ten.

Brenda: Early 30s, former serial dater, now a soccer mom

with memories to spare and a body sculpted from

daily aerobics.

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The Women

Marie: Late 20s, Tall, dark hair,

tough-minded career woman

who doesn’t like games. A

straight shooter who wants

what she wants and isn’t

afraid to ask for it.

Rene: Early 20s, exotic brunette with

a body that won’t quit, likes

guys who take action and

keep their mouths shut.

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The Women

Getting Her Number

JJ: Ladies, thank you for your cooperation. I feel as if this

project will help open a lot of guys’ eyes to mistakes

they are making when trying to meet gorgeous women

like you.

Marie: Most guys need a lot of help.

JJ: I agree. So let’s start with you, Kelly. What’s the best way

for a guy to meet you?

Kelly: All he needs to do is ask me to dance. Hell, I’ll dance

with just about anybody. I don’t like them to talk, you

know, just to dance.

I kind of use them

like a stripper

uses a pole.

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Getting Her Number

JJ: So that’s how a guy picks you up?

Kelly: Oh, I didn’t say that’s how he picks me up. That’s how

to meet me. Most of the time guys have nothing to say

after I dance with them. They’re like fish – I just throw

them back.

JJ: But some guys DO get to talk to you after you

dance, right?

Kelly: Sure, if he’s the right kind of guy and says the

right things.

JJ: So how does a guy get your number?

Lori: [interrupting] Oh man, I almost NEVER give a guy

my number.

JJ: Why not?

Lori: Guys can be stalkers. The last thing you want is a guy

stalking you. Most guys seem okay when you meet

them, really quiet and unassuming, but then they

become stalkers.

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Getting Her Number

Calling Etiquette–

Guys Don’t Get It

Kelly: Guys just don’t

get it. They think

because you

give them your

number they can

just call and call.

I hate that. Guys

should realize

that if they call

and leave a message that we got the message and that

if we really want to call them back we will.

Rene: In this age of caller ID people should assume that every

one knows that they are calling and how many times

they called. If you call and don’t leave a message then

call back again and don’t leave a message a woman is

just going to figure that you’re a stalker and that’s it. No

one wants to go out with a stalker.

Leave one message,

just one message, and that’s it. Don’t keep calling.

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Calling Etiquette – Guys Don’t Get It

Brenda: I gave this one guy my number and he called me five

times a day for a week. If I had wanted to talk to him I

would have called him back right away.

Kelly: Guys think being persistent is complimentary. It’s not so

complimentary, really.

Being too persistent makes a guy

seem like a stalker.

Marie: Guys have to understand that there is something essentially

scary about men. And that they should steer clear of being

scary. Like, this one guy followed me around an airport like

he was my dog. I had to get the cops to tell him to stop

bothering me. Did he think that I’d find that attractive?

Guys have got to get a grip on reality.

Kelly: And another thing I want to bring up: when I DO give my

number to a guy, I want him to call. What is with this

“I won’t call her for three days” crap.

JJ: As a guy, it’s because we don’t want to seem too eager.

Kelly: That’s bulls**t. If I give a guy my number he should just

call. He probably seemed pretty eager when he was

asking for it. If a woman likes him she’ll be glad to hear

from him. Waiting a few days just pisses us off.

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Calling Etiquette – Guys Don’t Get It

Confidence, Man

Lori: But it’s true, sometimes women don’t want a guy who is

too eager. Women are sometimes attracted to guys who

are aloof. The last thing you want is a guy who is up

your butt.

Marie: Not necessarily aloof – confident.

Rene: That’s true.

Brenda: Confident. Absolutely.

Kelly: But down to earth.

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Confidence, Man

Marie: He needs to show his confidence dancing.

Even if he

isn’t a good dancer he needs to show his confidence

dancing. You don’t have to be a good dancer to

show confidence.

Kelly:

Confidence can go a long way no matter what you

look like.

JJ: So, if a guy is confident, and reasonably good looking,

will you give him your number?

Rene: I’ll lie and give him a fake number.

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Confidence, Man

Why Women Lie

JJ: Lying and

giving a fake

number is

awful.

Rene: I’ll take his

number if I

really want to

call him.

Kelly: Rene and I lied to some guy the other night. We said we

were both students at Harvard home for a break. We said

we were roommates.

JJ: Did he believe you?

Kelly: Hell yeah.

Rene: Kelly will lie about her age, her name, school, address –

you name it, Kelly will lie about it.

JJ: Why?

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Why Women Lie

Kelly:

I don’t want to give guys my real information because I

don’t want them to be stalkers, you know? It’s easier

than telling a guy to get lost.

You can always tell him the

truth later. Guys don’t really care.

Rene: Sometimes we pretend to have accents.

JJ: That’s just cruel.

Kelly: Hey, guys can do it, too. Why not pretend to have

an accent.

Rene: I love accents on guys. Foreign accents that is, not

New York accents or Southern accents. An English or

Australian accent is really nice.

A guy gets extra points

for an accent.

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Why Women Lie

How to Approach Women:

Lines That Work

JJ: So, how should a guy approach women like you?

Kelly:

Take a risk and don’t be cheesy.

JJ: Great advice, but could you be more specific?

Tell me some of the lines that have been used on you

that worked.

Brenda: How about “Should I call you in the morning or just

nudge you?”

JJ: That worked?

Brenda: Hell, I ended

up marrying

the guy.

JJ: A great story

for the

grandkids.

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How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

Marie: My current boyfriend used “how’s your heart?”

JJ: Is he a cardiologist?

Lori: It’s not the line, really. I mean, we’ve heard them all. I bet

between us all we’ve heard every line that ever existed.

What really matters is what works for that moment.

Rene: Yeah, a guy can’t come up to you in the middle of a White

Stripes concert and say “Hey, I lost my Teddy Bear, can I

sleep with you instead?” I mean, that’s awful. But if a guy

asks how you like the concert or if you like this kind of

music or something that makes sense, that’s okay.

Lori: One time in a bar this guy walked up to me and said “do

you really need to wear those glasses, or do you just like

looking sexy?” That was great. I hate my glasses and was

only wearing them because my contacts were out of

commission.

Compliments like that work great.

Brenda: Definitely, compliments make you feel more attractive.

Marie: But you have to be sincere. And simple.

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How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

JJ: Okay, please tell me what you think of these lines:

• “Tell me, where do you get your clothes?”

(consensus: awful)

• “You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”

(consensus: fantastic)

• “You have great hair – who is your stylist?”

(consensus: bad, unless you’re gay)

• “Have you seen any good concerts lately?”

(consensus: not so bad, but not good)

• “What kind of man turns you on?”

(consensus: terrible)

• “Are you from around here?”

(consensus: okay)

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How to Approach Women: Lines That Work

Good Pick Up Spots:

Not What You’d Expect

JJ: Okay, tell me, where are the good places to pick up

women? Where would you be most likely to be picked

up? A bar?

Kelly: I guess, but a bar is pretty played.

Lori: Every woman expects to be hit on in a bar. Their

defenses are up. It’s probably an okay place to meet

women, but not the best.

JJ: Okay. How about an airport or an airplane?

Kelly: If it seems natural. Don’t be a stalker about it. But if you

happen to sit next to someone that catches your eye, you

can talk to them.

Rene: You know, I heard the train is a really great place to meet

guys. Like instead of taking a plane you take a train.

Guys can approach you on the train because it’s more

relaxed and there are no assigned seats.

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Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

Brenda:

Food shopping is a great place.

Rene: Yeah, a guy can

come up with a

lot of good things

to ask you about

while you’re food

shopping. Like

“I’ve got to cook

a meal for my

boss and I don’t

know the

difference between regular and Italian parsley.” Or, if you

want to be really basic about it, “how can you tell regular

potatoes from sweet potatoes?” But then she might think

you’re kind of dumb.

Lori:

Dale Carnegie classes – or any class – works well.

Or the

beach, that can be good, but unless a woman has a

perfect body she might be a little nervous at the beach.

Kelly: Even if she has a great body she’s going to be nervous.

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Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

Marie:

A bookstore is good.

A guy can just ask you where

something is, or if you’re in a specific section of the

store, he can ask you if you like the kind of book that is

in the section, like mystery or science fiction. Then he

can ask you to recommend a book.

JJ: What about the gym?

Kelly: Here’s a great rule of thumb – if she’s wearing makeup at

the gym, you can absolutely ask her out. If she isn’t

wearing makeup, stay away.

Rene:

Starbucks works for me.

But once again, he can’t be

cheesy. He has to make sure that his line makes sense in

Starbucks. I mean, he can’t ask me to dance or anything.

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Good Pick Up Spots: Not What You’d Expect

Eye Contact:

Better Than Words?

Rene: The sexually charged look always gets my attention.

Kelly: I know. It’s better than a pick up line for a lot of women.

Marie: And Rene is the queen of the sexually charged look.

JJ: Okay, tell me more.

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Eye Contact: Better Than Words?

Rene: Well, it’s all about eye-to-eye contact. And not saying

anything. The key is to hold off saying anything as long

as you can.

And gentlemen, it’s eye to EYE contact, not

eye to BREAST.

Kelly: And no winking, for God’s sake.

Rene:

If the look goes on for a solid five minutes then it’s okay

to approach the woman.

Also, you’ve got to break away

from the look for a count of 30 at least once and then

look back. If she’s looking back at you then you’re in the

clear. If she isn’t then it’s over.

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Eye Contact: Better Than Words?

Online Dating

Kelly: I meet a lot of guys online these days.

Lori: Really?

Kelly: At first I thought it was really kind of weird, you know,

kind of like a meat market. But it’s really easy, and it helps me

screen out guys really fast.

JJ: How can a guy stop

himself from being

screened out by you?

Kelly: Just seem normal. I

mean, don’t seem all

crazy and don’t seem

boring. I guess it

would probably work

best if we had some-

thing in common.

JJ: But how would a guy know what you have in common

if you’ve never met?

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Online Dating

Kelly: I guess it’s just best to list a lot of hobbies and interests

and figure that something will make an impression.

Also

you’ve got to stand out somehow.

To me 90% of the guys

online say the same stupid things. I mean, you can say

some of the same stuff, but don’t repeat everything.

JJ: In other words, don’t give you a reason to screen

them out.

Kelly: Yeah, it’s too easy to say “no, not you.” There are just so

many guys to choose from that if there is any reason to

screen a guy out I will. The guy just has to make sure he

doesn’t give me a reason.

JJ: He should just write something funny?

Kelly: Funny will work. Smart will work, but not TOO smart.

He just has to stand out.

JJ: So you email guys who you see online?

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Online Dating

Kelly: I really don’t have to. Thousands of guys have emailed

me. I mean, it’s literally in the thousands now. I can

hardly keep up with them. I live near New York City, so

there are a lot of guys in the area. So I immediately try to

start weeding them out. Too tall, too short, generic

profile, anything.

JJ: What about the guys who don’t email you?

Kelly: First off I don’t think there is a single guy who

participates in online dating within 100 miles of me who

has not emailed me. And if there is,

there is no way that I

have time to go looking for a guy on one of these date

sites. There are far too many people emailing me.

Plus,

why would I want to put myself out there to have to

email someone? I’m on one of these pay-by-the-message

sites, and I’m telling you I have never, ever paid to send

an email. I get so many of these that every night that I’m

not on a date I’m sorting through the emails I get. It’s like

it’s a full time job.

JJ: But you DO go out on dates with these guys.

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Online Dating

Kelly: Yeah, I do. Why would anyone submit themselves to the

humiliation of these online dating services unless they

were interested in going on a date? It’s not like you’re at

a restaurant or a bar and maybe you’re just out for a

night with the girls.

If you’re online then you are

definitely looking for a guy.

JJ: So a guy emails you, how can he get your attention?

Kelly: When a guy sends an email, a funny or clever subject

line helps. And make sure you don’t talk about how

sexy you are – that’s a real turn off. Don’t brag about

yourself or talk about how much money you make, I

really don’t care about all that.

Just be natural and not

stuck-up.

And don’t be a stalker – I can’t tell guys about

that enough – DO NOT BE A STALKER. It’s not a turn on

to be stalked. Maybe it’s a turn on for guys to have a

woman stalk them, but it’s not for women. So if you’re

reading this and you’re stalking someone right now,

just cut it out.

JJ:

So a guy should ask you out via email?

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Online Dating

Kelly:

No.

Just get to know me via email. Don’t rush things. If I

trust you I’ll trade phone numbers with you. Then after

we talk on the phone you can ask me out. But I’m not

going to meet a guy unless I talk to him on the phone first.

And I’ve got to see a picture of him, so guys,

get a

decent picture of yourself.

Something that’s been taken

in the last five years, because I don’t want any surprises

when I go out on a date. If you’ve recently gained thirty

pounds I want to know about it before we go out. Your

winning personality is not going to smooth over the fact

that you’ve been hitting the buffet a little too hard.

Just be honest, for God’s sake. Even if you’re turned

down via email it’s better than wasting my time on a date

and pissing me off. You don’t want to be on a date with

me when I’m pissed off.

JJ:

Should a guy ask you out for a romantic dinner?

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Online Dating

Kelly:

Of course not.

A romantic dinner for the first date is the

last place I want to go with a guy I don’t know. If I’m at a

fancy restaurant I can’t just leave if I don’t like the guy,

I’ve got to endure hours of him droning on and on about

some boring thing or another.

The worst guys are the boring guys, the ones that only

talk about themselves. And also, the last thing I want is

to feel as if I owe you something at the end of a date just

because you took me to a fancy restaurant. I’m not

owing you anything, buddy.

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Online Dating

Who Pays for the Date?

JJ: That brings up a good point: if you go to a fancy

restaurant, or just out to a drink, who pays?

Lori: Whoever asks the other person out pays.

Kelly: No way – HE pays, no matter what.

Rene: Whatever feels right at the time. Maybe he pays,

maybe we split it.

JJ:

If you split

the check, I

assume that

the guy has

absolutely no

chance of

scoring with you.

Lori:

That’s right.

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Who Pays for the Date?

Rene:

Not necessarily. Whether he scores is based on if I like

him and if he’s hot, not whether he pays or not.

Marie: I think it should be based on economic necessity.

Whoever can most afford to pay should pay. That seems

the most fair.

Rene: Kind of takes the romance out of it, however.

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Who Pays for the Date?

First Date Etiquette

Kelly: Here’s some tips for any first date:

1. It should never be longer than a drink because you

don’t want to get stuck with anyone.

2. Never mention the price of ANYTHING – expensive

or cheap. It makes you seem like an ass.

3. Ask questions and listen, but don’t talk about yourself

unless you have to. Here’s a good first date question

to ask: what’s your favorite childhood memory?

4. But don’t JUST listen, listen and respond.

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First Date Etiquette

Do You Have to be a

Supermodel?

JJ: Something Kelly said when we were taking about online

dating really stuck with me: you said a guy has to be

handsome for you to go out with him. How important

are looks when a guy is trying to pick up a woman?

Kelly: First off I said “hot,”

not “handsome.”

There is a big

difference.

JJ: Really?

Rene:

You don’t have to be

handsome to be hot.

JJ: This is the first time I’ve heard about this.

Marie: I mean there are some obvious turn offs, like bad breath

and dirty teeth.

I don’t care if you’re Brad Pitt, bad breath

is going to turn me off.

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Do You Have to be a Supermodel?

Rene: There’s this thing called sexy-ugly. You can be ugly and

sexy at the same time. Like Willem DaFoe. I think he’s an

ugly, ugly man, but he’s also incredibly sexy. Well, maybe

he’s not as ugly as he is unusual looking.

JJ: Explain this to me.

Rene: If you’re not a great looking guy, it doesn’t mean that you

have no chance. Just try to find something that is good

looking about yourself and bring it out. Like your eyes or

your lips. Then wear clothes that really bring that out.

And have some confidence in yourself, dammit.

JJ: Okay, I’m not sure I can believe this. The rest of you, do

you believe in this sexy-ugly theory?

Brenda: It’s not a theory, it’s the truth. Most of the guys I’ve dated

have not been your traditionally handsome kind of guys.

Hell, my husband is bald, for God’s sake. But he’s

very sexy.

Lori:

It’s all about the way a guy looks when he approaches

you, not just how good looking he is. It’s all about how

he acts, if he feels he has confidence.

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Do You Have to be a Supermodel?

Shoes – It’s All

About the Shoes

Kelly: Shoes are really,

really important.

JJ: What kind of

shoes?

Kelly:

Good shoes.

Attractive,

casual dress

shoes.

You know

what I mean.

Lori: Yeah, no boat shoes, no old, beat up shoes. And no

sandals -- please.

Kelly: And no dirty shoes. They don’t have to be real shiny or

anything, but they cannot be dirty. I cannot stress that

enough – no dirty shoes.

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Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes

Rene: Black shoes mean black socks. Enough said.

Brenda: And nice hands are very important.

Lori: Yeah, guys, stop biting your nails. But don’t get a

manicure either, that’s no good.

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Shoes – It’s All About the Shoes

Cologne or No Cologne?

JJ: Do you like cologne on guys?

Lori: Depends on the guy. I guess it’s okay as long as it’s light.

Rene: Yeah,

you don’t want to smell the guy’s cologne unless

you’re pressed up to him.

Marie: There’s nothing good about cologne.

Rene: You see, I disagree. I like cologne. But just not too

much of it.

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Cologne or No Cologne

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Final Thoughts

Final Thoughts

Marie: Be confident.

Kelly: Wear decent shoes.

Lori: Don’t be cheesy or a stalker.

Brenda: You don’t have to be beautiful.

Rene:

Meanwhile, we’re just here waiting.