Copyright Page

on June 6th, 2013, based on

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7592750/

The content in this book is copyrighted by Besotted or their authorised
agent(s). All rights are reserved except where explicitly stated otherwise.

This story was first published on November 28th, 2011, and was last updated
on October 14th, 2012.

Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated - please email any bugs, problems,
feature requests etc. to

flag@erayd.net

29. Full Circle
30. Perfect

- 4 -

Summary

Bella Swan lives in a continuum between sound and silence, a world apart from

what Edward Cullen knows. When their lives collide and their attraction can't be
denied, can they overlook their differences and let love define them?

- 5 -

Life as I know It

Author's Notes:

Hello, and welcome to The Sound of Silence. Just a few important notes before

you begin:

Because Bella is deaf in this fic, it presents a certain challenge when writing

dialogue. So that things do not become too confusing, I have provided a key you can
refer to when reading each chapter. This key will be posted in the author's notes at
the beginning of every chapter.

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

I hope this isn't too confusing. It should make much more sense as you go along.

Finally, I just want to say that this fic is written in its entirety with the exception

of the final three chapters. I plan to post one chapter a week through its completion.

Many thanks to azure0610 who has graciously agreed to beta another story for

me. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and JenEsme for pre-reading.

This story will be told entirely from EPOV.

- 6 -

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 1: Life as I Know It

Life was pretty good. I had just come from what most of my classmates considered

a particularly grueling Organic Chemistry exam, but I was fairly certain I'd aced it. I
better have. I'd only sacrificed all of Thanksgiving break to study for it. I wasn't
entirely happy about that. I wondered why I'd even bothered flying home to Chicago.
I may as well have just remained here, in sunny Florida, locked away in my
apartment studying. The weather would have been a hell of a lot less depressing,
that's for sure. But my kid sister Alice wouldn't have been very happy with me. She'd
all but begged me to come home, citing the fact that we hadn't seen each other
since the beginning of August. She was right, and I couldn't say no to her. She was
more than just my sister, she was my best friend.

Of course, we hadn't been able to visit much over my five day break. I'd had my

nose stuffed inside my textbook for practically the entire time. I wondered what my
professor had been thinking when he scheduled an exam for the Monday after
Thanksgiving, anyway. I mean, who in the hell waits to give an exam until after
Thanksgiving break? It was cruel and unusual punishment, in my opinion, inflicted
upon helpless undergrads by their snickering professor. He probably derived a great
deal of satisfaction out of depriving us of our mini vacation, figuring he was doing us
a favor by preparing us for the rigors of medical school where we would surely not
have time to fool with holidays.

Lucky for me, in roughly four weeks time I'd be through with Organic Chemistry.

In fact, I'd be finished with all but three of the courses necessary to graduate with a
pre-med degree. That wasn't the only degree I'd graduate from the University of
South Florida with in June. I was a double major, music and medicine, and I'd be
graduating with a degree in piano performance, too. Completing a double major
had, admittedly, been very rough. It would take me six years to graduate college as
opposed to the traditional four most others completed it in. But it had been worth it
to me. I'd received a full scholarship to USF, based upon my willingness to study
music. When a university offers to pay all of your undergraduate fees in exchange
for your participation in their music program, it's a hard deal to pass up.

As I strolled along the sidewalk, I found myself absently whistling along to

Schubert's Impromptu in A Flat. It was a favorite of mine, and also happened to be
one of the pieces I was currently working on for my upcoming piano performance
exam. I was heading back to my apartment now to grab an early lunch, but I'd be
returning to campus later in the day to spend several hours practicing before
heading to my Comparative Anatomy class. Compared to Organic Chemistry,

- 7 -

Comparative Anatomy was a breeze. In fact, I'd found most of my pre-med classes to
be relatively easy. Unlike high school, I'd actually taken college seriously, and I'd be
graduating Magna Cum Laude, with a near perfect GPA. This distinction had earned
me admittance into USF's medical school. I'd received the letter in the mail when I
returned home from Chicago late yesterday evening. Like I said… life really was
good. I was pretty sure I had it all figured out. My path was set before me - a bright
future, mine for the taking.

My cell phone vibrated in my pants pocket, and I pulled it out, switching the

ringer on before answering the phone.

"What's up?" I said, greeting my roommate and best friend of four years, Emmett

McCarty.

"Not much, man. I was just wondering if you felt like stopping by the store on your

way home."

"What the hell," I said. It was almost eleven in the morning, and I was pretty sure

Emmett was just now getting up. He'd managed to schedule all his classes on
Tuesdays and Thursdays this semester, which meant the rest of the week he was
afforded the privilege of sleeping in. I wasn't so lucky. I had advanced music theory
at 8 a.m. all three of those days, which meant I had to roll out of bed no later than
7:45 in order to make it to class by eight. That was one of the benefits of living
directly across the street from campus. I didn't require much transit time.

"Help a brother out," Emmett laughed. "I'm fucking hungry, and the milk's gone

sour."

"So get in your car and drive to the store," I laughed, not hesitating to point out

the obvious solution to his problem.

"That would require that I actually get out of bed," Emmett volleyed back.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Honestly, I wasn't sure how Emmett did it. He

partied hard, often not returning to our apartment until the early hours of the
morning. As a senior Mechanical Engineering major, you'd think he would need to
spend more time studying. Then again, he had his wicked smart girlfriend, Rosalie,
to help him out. She was a Mechanical Engineering major, too. I briefly wondered
why I had never been so lucky as to find a study partner like her. Probably because I
knew I'd never get any sort of productive studying done if I did, I reasoned.

I had to say, though, if I had to pinpoint a single disappointment over my nearly

- 8 -

six years spent at USF, it would have to be my less than enviable love life. It's not
that I didn't date, or that I didn't have any opportunities to enter into a relationship.
I did date; my problem was continuing the relationship past the first date. A select
few women I'd actually dated for a month or two, more for the sex than anything
else, but as soon as I felt the girl start to form any sort of emotional attachment, I
bolted. I supposed it was for the better. As a double major, I really didn't have time
to deal with all the drama a relationship usually entailed. Still, at 22, there was a
part of me that wondered if I wasn't ready to try and find something more. Alice had
Jasper, Emmett had Rosalie. Me? I was all alone.

"Hey, Edward, you still there?"

"Sorry, bro. Got lost in thought there for a moment," I said, laughing at myself. I

needed to stop with this introspective crap.

"So, are you going to pick up the milk or not?"

"Yeah, I'll get it," I said, changing course and heading in the direction of the little

convenience store located on campus. "But only if you agree to cook dinner," I added
as a condition.

Emmett was a wicked good cook. He was a self-appointed grill master, and our

apartment was a gathering point of sorts for nearly all the college students in our
complex. Tampa's well tempered weather meant it was possible to grill out year
round, and on any given night, you could find a group of us throwing back beers and
devouring some of Emmett's two pound burgers on our terrace.

"I've got a better offer," Emmett countered. "Rose thought that the four of us

could go out for Mexican tonight, maybe grab a movie afterwards."

I groaned out loud, immediately wary of where this conversation was headed.

"The four of us? As in…"

"As in you, me, Rose and Tanya," Emmett interrupted while laughing out loud.

"Who else would I be talking about?"

"Emmett," I warned. "I'm not sure that's the best idea. We all just went out last

week. I don't really want to give Tanya the wrong idea."

I knew I had to be very careful with this situation. Tanya was Rosalie's younger

sister. She'd transferred to USF this past summer, after spending two years at a

- 9 -

community college. She was cute and all, and fairly good company too. But she was
caught up in sorority life and the thrill of attending a major university for the first
time. For all intents and purposes, her college years were just beginning whereas
mine were coming to an end. Well, in the undergrad sense, anyway. I was set to
attend med school next fall, but I didn't consider that college.

"Edward, when in the hell are you going to wake up and notice how fuck hot that

girl is?" Emmett asked, forgoing tact. Not that he had much, anyway.

"There is something seriously wrong with you referring to your girlfriend's sister

as fuck hot," I replied.

"Rose's words, not mine," he shot back by way of defense.

"Whatever. This has bad idea written all over it. You know my drill. One date, two

dates – tops, a casual fuck from time to time and I'm over it. I'm not really interested
in incurring the wrath of Rosalie when things don't work out with her baby sister."

"You won't even give her a chance, Edward," Emmett said, sounding a little bit

annoyed.

Good. I was slightly annoyed myself.

"She's really great, and for whatever reason, she thinks you're some sort of Greek

Adonis, or some shit like that. She's totally into you."

"How can she possibly be into me?" I wondered out loud. "We've never gone out

together alone. She doesn't really know me."

"Well, maybe you should do something about that. Ask her out on a proper date -

just the two of you. Take her to Burn's or something."

"Hell no," I ground out. "That's akin to declaring a relationship status. No man in

their right mind takes a casual acquaintance out to a several hundred dollar dinner,"
I reasoned.

"All right, all right," Emmett sighed. "Point taken. But what harm can come from

dinner at Tia's? It will be the four of us. That hardly counts as a romantic date."

"Fine," I finally agreed, growing tired of this conversation. It seemed important to

Emmett that we all go out, and for that reason alone I agreed to go. "Dinner only,
though. I'm not particularly keen on sitting in a dark theater with her. That's asking

- 10 -

for trouble."

"Dinner and dancing in Ybor City," Emmett counter offered.

"Dinner and Fat Tuesday's," I shot back, wanting to avoid any situation that may

involve bumping and grinding with Tanya. A bar was a much safer bet.

"Deal!" Emmett agreed, seeming pleased with my suggestion. "I'm not sure why I

didn't think of that myself. We could even call a cab, afterwards."

Calling a cab was common practice for college students wanting to have more

than a couple of drinks. Ybor City was a short ride from campus, and if you piled
three or four people inside, the cost was minimal.

"Nah, I'll be the designated driver," I said, shooting down his idea, and I was

pretty sure I could hear Emmett pout.

"What fun is there in that?" he complained.

"Actually, hopefully not much," I pointed out as a matter of fact. "Maybe if Tanya

sees how boring I really am, she'll settle her interests on someone else."

"Edward," Emmett said, clearly frustrated. "What's your problem? If it's really that

big of a deal I'll just tell the girls you're busy. There's no sense in going out if you're
going to act like an uptight asshole."

I hesitated for a moment, considering if that might be the better choice. But I

didn't want to upset Emmett, or Rose for that matter. And Tanya was a nice enough
girl - I just didn't want her getting the wrong idea. But maybe Emmett was right. It
was just a casual dinner, after all.

"No, no, it's okay," I said. "I'll do it, and I promise not to be an uptight asshole," I

laughed. "Just, don't leave me hanging if she gets any ideas, okay?"

"Don't worry, pansy. I've got your ass covered," Emmett laughed. "See you in a

few," he added before hanging up.

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. I

supposed I was acting a little bit uptight. Normally, I wasn't as cautious when it
came to girls. I liked to go out and have fun as much as anybody else, but I wanted
to tread carefully with Rosalie's sister. I hoped to live with Emmett again next year,
and he and Rose were a pretty sure thing. It would make things incredibly awkward

- 11 -

if Tanya and I had a falling out, hence my desire to keep our relationship platonic. I
decided to make the best of it tonight, however. I'd just be extra careful not to send
her any mixed signals.

The convenience store was located in the center of campus, which also happened

to be on my way home. I darted inside to purchase the milk, and five minutes later I
was once again traversing the familiar route to my apartment. I traveled the same
route, three days a week - a route that happened to take me by the College of
Behavioral Sciences. I didn't normally pay the building much attention. More often
than not, I was plugged in, focusing mainly on my music and not on my
surroundings. But today was different. My iPhone remained in my pocket, and as I
walked past the building, I noticed a girl, struggling to balance an incredibly large
number of books in her left arm while attempting to open the door to the building
with her right. Even from where I stood, several yards away, I could see she
wouldn't be successful.

"Hey!" I called to her. "Would you like some help?" I started to walk toward her,

expecting her to acknowledge my offer, but instead, she continued to try and pry
open the door.

"Hey!" I called out again. "Let me get that for you!" I picked up my pace, realizing

that this stubborn girl intended to open the door on her own. There was no way she
could manage, though. Her books would surely fall to the ground.

"Please, let me get that for you," I said as I jogged up behind her. I reached

around her, intending to pull open the door, but then the unexpected happened. One
moment the girl was standing in front of me, carefully balancing her books, the next
she was flat on her ass on the ground, all her books scattered about.

"Shit! I'm sorry," I said in a panic while turning to offer her my hand, and I was

momentarily taken aback as I did. The girl was fucking gorgeous. Her eyes were a
deep shade of brown and her mouth was delicate and small. At the same time, I was
certain I'd never seen lips as full as hers. And the entirety of her face… it was so
expressive, in a manner in which words just couldn't describe. I was momentarily
struck dumb, and apparently so was she, because she just sat there, saying nothing,
staring up at me in embarrassment and shock.

"Let me help you up," I said, shaking myself from my stupor. She squinted, her

eyes trained on my lips as I spoke, but still, she said nothing. And then there was a
rush of air as the doors to the building burst open, and we weren't alone anymore.

"Bella!" A voice cried out from behind me, and suddenly the gorgeous girl had a

- 12 -

name. An apt name at that, I thought as a man moved past me in a rush. The man
was huge. I was what most would consider a tall guy; I was six foot one. But this guy
had to be over six foot four. He had long, black hair that fell past his shoulders, and
rust colored skin which easily identified him as Native American. Arriving at Bella's
side, I watched as his hands started moving wildly about. I was confused at first,
uncertain as to what he was doing, but then I saw Bella's hands move in return, and
suddenly it all made sense.

This girl… Bella… was deaf.

She hadn't heard me when I'd approached her from behind, and I must have

startled her when I reached around her to open the door. This was the reason she'd
stumbled to the ground. I felt bad for my mistake, but there was no way I could have
known that she was deaf. I wanted to apologize for scaring her, but I didn't know
how. I had no means by which to communicate with her. Instead, I stood off to the
side, utterly fascinated by the movement of her hands as she signed to her friend.
When she was through, he helped her to her feet before turning to face me.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," he said in a clipped tone. I was

surprised by his attitude, and immediately went on the defensive.

"Hey," I said, leveling my eyes at him. "I was only trying to help. I didn't know she

was deaf."

Bella's friend continued to glare at me, and it suddenly struck me that maybe this

guy was more than just her friend. He seemed awfully upset with me for something
that was truly an honest mistake. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella
watching the two of us intently, and suddenly, her right hand came up, moving up
and down in a sweeping motion near her friend's shoulder. He briefly glanced in her
direction, his eyes easily following her hands as she once again signed something to
him. I found myself becoming frustrated with my inability to follow the conversation
and was just about to step away when Bella's hand reached out to lightly tap my
arm. I froze, having not expected her to touch me, and my eyes slowly moved to
meet hers.

When Bella saw that she had my undivided attention, her hand formed a fist and

traveled directly over her heart. There, it circled slowly in place several times before
rising towards her face. I was vaguely aware of my own heart racing wildly in my
chest as her fingers hovered near to her lips, and then, her arm fell forward from a
vertical to a horizontal position before moving slowly to her side. It was
embarrassing – the fact that I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, and we stood
there, staring at each other for a moment before Bella's friend started to pull her

- 13 -

over to where her books lay scattered about the ground. I wanted to help pick them
up, but I was pretty sure my help would not be welcome, at least not by him, and I
didn't want to cause any more trouble. Instead, I slowly raised my hand in the air,
waving it back and forth in a universal gesture Bella was sure to understand before
slowly stepping away. She waved back, and smiled shyly at me before I turned and
walked away.

Endnotes:

Chapters will be shorter this time around, but will increase in word count as the

fic progresses.

I will be rewriting The Preacher's Son and plan to begin posting this story again

when The Sound of Silence finishes posting.

Thank you for reading!

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

For those of you who have yet to discover the awesomeness that is aerobee82's

Antiques Roadshow, check it out! It's a truly wonderful fic full of lots of good
laughs and an incredibly endearing vampward that will turn all your preconceived
ideas of Edward on end. Check it out!

- 14 -

Setting the Record Straight

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading. Nayarit from ADF created my beautiful banner!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 2: Setting the Record Straight

I was a man possessed - rather I was a man on a specific mission. I was

determined to decipher what Bella had said to me and in order to do that, I needed
access to a computer. I'd memorized the movements she'd made with her hands,
playing them over and over again in my head as I sprinted across campus towards
home. Once there, I pushed open my front door and dropped my backpack on the
floor by the entrance before placing Emmett's milk on the counter in the kitchen and
heading into my room. My computer was already powered on, so I sat in my chair
and brought up Google.

I already knew a little bit about deaf people. I'd read about them in several of my

pre-med classes. There had been some diagrams of signs in my textbooks, but since

- 15 -

I'd never actually met a deaf person, I'd never had reason to learn any of them. I
figured the best place to start was Googling Sign Language, so I entered the term
into the search engine and waited for a response. Moments later, the results of my
search came back. The first several sites offered generic information about
American Sign Language (ASL) which, while interesting, was not what I was looking
for. I was more interested in specific signs. Going on the premise that Bella wouldn't
have signed anything too complicated to a person who didn't understand the
language, I refined my search. This time I limited it to commonly utilized ASL signs.

The search was a success. I clicked on a link at the top of the page which took me

to a site offering picture and video illustrations of commonly used signs. I
recognized one sign right out of the gate; it was the first sign on the page, though it
was the second sign she'd used when communicating with me.

Thank You.

I pressed the four fingers of my right hand together, bringing them to my lips just

as Bella had done and mimicking the sign. Thank You. She'd said thank you, and for
some reason, that made me feel ridiculously happy. I practiced the sign several
times before scanning the page for any clue as to what she might have said before
that. Her hand had been fisted tightly over her heart, traveling in slow circles as her
face registered…remorse? Is that what I'd seen? Yes, now that I thought about it,
the emotion I'd seen written all over her face was clearly remorse. She'd been
sorry…

My eyes scanned further down the page, and there it was – the sign for sorry. The

page read, "The sign for "sorry" is made by forming either an "a" or an "s" with your
right hand. Rotate your hand over your heart in a few clockwise motions." I looked
closely at the screen, carefully forming a letter "a" with my hand before placing it
over my heart. I was circling it slowly when my door burst open.

"Hey, thanks for the… dude, what in the fuck are you doing?" Emmett stood in the

threshold to my room, a bowl of cereal in one hand and a spoon in the other. His
eyes traveled from my computer screen to my face before dropping to my chest. I
immediately yanked my hand from my heart, stuffing it in my lap while
simultaneously clicking out of Internet Explorer.

"Nothing," I muttered, not really caring to explain myself. What was there to say,

anyway? That I'd accidentally startled a girl… a fucking gorgeous girl who also
happened to be deaf? Now, I was trying to interpret her words – words spoken
through gestures as foreign to me as Chinese? Emmett was a good guy, but he'd
definitely have a good laugh at that. For some reason, just the thought of that put

- 16 -

me on the defensive, so I figured it was better to leave well enough alone.

"So what time are we going out?" I asked, effectively changing the subject.

Thankfully, Emmett took the hint and didn't question me further.

Later that evening, Tanya and Rose arrived while Emmett and I were still getting

ready. Unfortunately, as the roommate paying a lesser amount of rent, my bathroom
was located across the hall from my bedroom as opposed to inside my room.
Normally, this wasn't a problem. It was, however, inconvenient when you were
doing your best not to attract the attention of a certain female. I knew from the
moment I watched Tanya's eyes go wide at the towel slung low on my hips that I
would have to play things very cool this evening. Emmett was right. She was
obviously interested in me. Her eyes, though not nearly as expressive as Bella's,
gave her away. I paused at that thought, wondering why Bella had suddenly popped
into my head. I remembered her eyes… how beautiful they had been, and found
myself smiling involuntarily. Tanya smiled back, and I groaned internally.

Fuck, Cullen. She hasn't been here for five minutes and already you're giving her

the wrong idea.

I hurried to get dressed, summarily dismissing any more thoughts of Bella as I

prepared for my evening out. Leaving our apartment, I was thankful that I'd at least
be driving tonight. There would be no chance for Tanya to try and cozy up next to
me in the backseat of the car. She'd tried that last week, but luckily we'd arrived
home shortly before she made actual physical contact. Something told me that given
the chance, tonight might be different though. Again, it was her eyes. They gave her
away, and I couldn't help but notice her watching me as I cruised down Fowler
Avenue towards Tia's.

Dinner was somewhat uncomfortable to begin with. Tanya and I were sitting

opposite Emmett and Rosalie in a booth designed for four, and I created a bit of a
stir when she scooted closer to me. I slid away from her - a move that was mostly
unintentional on my part, but Emmett shot me an evil glance nonetheless.
Remembering my promise not to act like an uptight asshole, I took a deep breath
and refocused myself. I slid back in Tanya's direction and she smiled at me, and the
remainder of the dinner went off without a hitch. It went so smoothly, in fact, that
towards the end I found that I was actually having a good time. Tanya and I
exchanged pleasant conversation, and never once did she try and initiate any sort of
physical contact. Her hand did rest comfortably between the two of us, and I
couldn't help but think it was an invitation for me to hold it, but to her credit, Tanya
didn't push.

- 17 -

After dinner, as had been previously decided, we drove into Ybor City. I was much

more relaxed on the ride downtown. The four of us laughed and joked around with
each other, and for a fleeting moment, I wondered if maybe I shouldn't try and
pursue something with Tanya.

She seemed… perfect.

She was young, yes, but she was also witty and intelligent, and she was definitely

easy on the eyes. I glanced in her direction, admiring her strawberry blonde hair.
And then, out of nowhere, I wondered what she might look like as a brunette, and
the thought so startled me that I nearly swerved into the adjacent lane.

"What the hell, Cullen? You sure you didn't drink any of those margaritas at

dinner?" Emmett teased from the back of the car.

"Shut the fuck up, Emmett," I said, leveling my eyes at him in the rearview mirror.

"You know I don't drink and drive."

"Lighten up," he shot back while smacking the back of my head. "I was only

teasing, but I would appreciate it if you'd watch the damn road."

I tried to do as Emmett asked, but I was preoccupied by thoughts of Bella. Why in

the hell did I keep thinking of her, anyway? What was it about her? She'd been
popping in and out of my head all day long, and now I was envisioning Tanya as a
brunette. That was just wrong. Tanya narrowed her eyes at me. I think she'd noticed
me looking at her a few moments ago and she'd been pleased with the attention.
Now, I'd reverted back to anxious Edward, worried about sending her the wrong
signals - as I should be. Even I could see that I was hot and cold with her. I was
starting to confuse myself, which was precisely why I hadn't wanted to go out with
her in the first place.

Fat Tuesdays was all I expected it to be. It was loud. It was crowded. There were a

lot of drunken people milling about, Emmett and Rose included. Interestingly, Tanya
abstained from drinking. I wasn't sure whether I was happy about that or not. On
the one hand, it was nice to have someone to talk to who wasn't drunk. It was never
fun being the sole sober person amidst a group of drunken fools. On the other hand,
I once again found myself wondering if maybe it might be worth trying to get to
know Tanya better, and that was dangerous territory.

I knew the stakes would be high if I dated Rosalie's sister. But would they be

worth it if we worked out in the end? The problem was, as much as I liked Tanya, I
didn't feel anything more than friendship for her. I liked her, and maybe I could even

- 18 -

learn to like her a little more, but I didn't feel like I could ever love her. Not that I
necessarily knew what love was, but I knew that ideally, part of being in a
relationship with someone involved feeling some sort of connection to them beyond
just physical attraction. And that's all Tanya was to me… a woman I found physically
attractive. There was nothing more – certainly not that proverbial spark everybody
spoke of.

It was a little past eleven when Tanya suggested the two of us go for a walk. I was

immediately wary of her motives, but agreed to go along if only to get some fresh
air. It was stuffy as hell inside Fat Tuesday's, and Emmett and Rose didn't look as if
they would be ready to leave anytime soon. Once outside, Tanya shivered in the cool
night air. I knew the chivalrous thing to do would be to offer her my jacket, so I did.
She accepted it with a grateful smile before threading her arm through my own. I
tensed a little at her touch, but she patted my arm, as if to tell me that it was okay to
relax, so I did.

We walked together then, arm and arm, though the streets of Ybor City. We didn't

say much as we moved along, instead choosing to observe the sights and sounds of
the city in silence. We passed a musician on our way, playing his saxophone in the
street. I tossed a 10 dollar bill in his case before continuing along.

"That was nice of you," Tanya commented, breaking our comfortable silence. I

shrugged my shoulders.

"We musicians have to stick together. If I wasn't entering med school next fall, I'd

probably be a starving artist too."

"Instead, you'll be a starving med student," Tanya pointed out with a gentle

squeeze of my arm, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"So true," I said. "But the idea is I'll eventually become a doctor, and I'll be able to

pay back my loans."

Not for the first time, I offered silent thanks for the fact that my undergraduate

tuition had been paid for. The money my parents had saved for me to attend college
could now be used for med school, minimizing the loans I would need to take out.

"Do you mind if we sit down for a minute?" Tanya asked as we approached a group

of benches. I thought it was a good idea. We'd been walking for awhile, and after
resting for a bit we probably needed to head back in the direction of Fat Tuesdays.

"Sure," I said, guiding her in the direction of an unoccupied bench. We sat down

- 19 -

together, side by side, and much to my relief, Tanya took her arm from mine.

"Edward, can I ask you a question?"

I looked over at Tanya and she smiled shyly at me.

"Of course," I said, trying hard not to appear too nervous. I wasn't sure why I was

nervous to begin with. Tanya just appeared so… serious.

"You're not interested in me, are you?" she asked, catching me off guard. I hadn't

expected her to ask that question. She was acknowledging the elephant in the room
that I'd clearly been trying to avoid. Thankfully, she didn't sound defensive, or even
all that upset – just curious. Still, I knew I had to choose my words carefully so as
not to upset her.

"Tanya," I began slowly. "I think you're a really nice girl, and I enjoy spending

time with you, but no… I'm not interested in you in any sort of a romantic way."

Tanya inhaled sharply, and I winced as her face fell. She was clearly disappointed,

and I really wished I could tell her differently, but I decided it wouldn't be fair to
either her or me. Besides, even if I did lie, I was certain she would see right through
me.

"I'm sorry," I said after she'd sat silent for awhile, but she only shook her head.

"No, it's okay. There's really no need to apologize," she said. "I figured as much. I

just thought that maybe…" And I watched as Tanya's voice trailed off, her face
suddenly turning a brilliant shade of red.

"Thought what?" I wondered, curious as to what could be causing this type of

reaction.

"Well, it's fairly obvious you're not interested in any sort of serious relationship.

But I thought that… I thought… oh never mind," she said, turning away from me in
embarrassment. And suddenly I got it, and I felt just as uncomfortable as Tanya did.
If I wasn't mistaken, she was asking me why we couldn't just fuck. God that sounded
crude, even if it was only in thought. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, not exactly
sure how to respond before deciding to just be upfront.

"Tanya, I'll be honest with you. In the past, I might have seen you that way," I

started to explain. "But I'm not sure I'm interested in that type of relationship
anymore. And it's not that I don't find you attractive, because I do. I'm just at a

- 20 -

different point in my life now. Believe me when I say, it's not you. This is all me."

Tanya laughed quietly beside me.

"I've heard that line before," she said, and though she didn't sound bitter, she

didn't exactly sound happy either.

"It's the truth," I said, reaching out to turn her face in my direction so that I could

look her directly in the eye. "I respect you too much to treat you like that."

Tanya didn't say anything more, and instead sat by my side, quietly considering

my words. After awhile, she looked up at me and smiled. It was an awkward smile,
but I could tell she wanted to try and make things right.

"So, do you think that we could try and forget this incredibly awkward

conversation ever took place and just be friends?" she asked hopefully, and I
breathed a sigh of relief.

"What conversation?" I joked in response, and her smile grew brighter.

Driving home that night, I felt a little better about my situation. Emmett and Rose

were lost in their own private world in the backseat of my car and while the silence
that surrounded Tanya and I wasn't exactly comfortable, it wasn't uncomfortable
either. I think she understood why I didn't want to become involved with her – at
least I hoped she did. And I honestly hoped the four of us could continue to go out
together, though I wouldn't blame Tanya if she decided she'd rather not. Despite
moments of awkwardness, I was glad I'd made the decision to be honest with her. It
was the right thing to do.

I dropped Rose and Tanya off at their apartment before driving home. It was half

past two in the morning by the time I pulled into my assigned parking spot and I was
dead on my feet. Thank God I didn't have an early morning class on Tuesdays, I
thought to myself. In fact, my first class wasn't until after lunch. Once inside,
Emmett tried to grill me about my conversation with Tanya, but I told him I was
tired and I wanted to go to bed. I assured him that everything was fine and that we'd
talk about it tomorrow, and he seemed satisfied by my response. Wishing me a good
night, he disappeared behind his bedroom door.

I took a quick shower before heading into my own room. I reeked of smoke, and

even though I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, I smelled of booze, too. The shower
gave me a second wind, and even though I knew I should go to bed, I found myself
wandering over to my computer. Sitting down, I couldn't help but Google sign

- 21 -

language again. I was interested in learning more about it, all because of a
particular brunette that continued to take up residence in my mind. It was
maddening, really. Yes, Bella was extremely attractive, but I was friends with lots of
attractive women that I didn't routinely picture in my mind. In fact, I could think of
only one woman I'd given more than a passing thought to this entire semester… and
that was Bella, which was ridiculous because I didn't even know her. But I wanted to
know her. Despite the obvious communication barrier, I wanted to know her. So,
sitting there in front of my computer at three in the morning, I started to devise a
plan.

It wouldn't be easy. I knew that. To begin with, up until today, I'd never seen Bella

before. Not in the library or in any of the dining halls. Not in the gym or the student
union. I'd never seen her around campus, and the only clue I had regarding her
identity was the fact I'd seen her attempting to enter the College of Behavioral
Sciences. Of course, if I had been paying closer attention, I might have noticed the
title of one of her books. Perhaps that would have given me a clue as to her major.
Then again, I was assuming that Bella was a student at the University of South
Florida when this might not be the case. My hopes of finding Bella were
momentarily dashed as I considered the possibility that her presence on campus
today had been a fluke. If that was the case, I would probably never see her again.
But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside. To the best of my ability, I really tried to
be a glass half full type of person, choosing to remain optimistic even under the
most hopeless of circumstances. So, determined that I would find Bella, I set the
groundwork for our next meeting. It was simple, really. I was taking baby steps.

First things first, I would learn how to sign my name.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 22 -

Life as She Knows It

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Thanks to azure0610 for acting as my spectacular beta and to aerobee82,

JenEsme and b4bystar for pre-reading this little story for me. The lovely Nayarit
from ADF created my beautiful banner!

You guys are the best!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 3: Life as She Knows It

There was something wrong with my plan – the one I'd devised at 3 o'clock in the

morning the night before when I couldn't sleep. I'd forgotten to take into account
the giant, who just happened to be sitting next to Bella on a bench directly outside
the College of Behavioral Sciences.

Yes – I found her.

It had been simple, really. I'd retraced my steps from Monday, passing by the

- 23 -

College of Behavioral Sciences today at approximately 11:50 a.m. At first there had
been no sign of Bella, which didn't surprise me. I'd never seen her before, and I
generally passed by the building at the same time every Monday, Wednesday and
Friday. So I decided to have a seat underneath a nearby oak tree to wait and see if
maybe she'd make an appearance later on.

This was absolutely crazy. I wasn't even going to pretend that it wasn't. Anyone

could accuse me of stalking the poor girl, and I would have no reasonable defense. I
was stalking her, only I wasn't some crazed psychopath. I had no desire to harm her.
I only wanted to properly introduce myself and let her know that she need not have
apologized to me the other day. To be completely honest, I wasn't exactly sure why
she had. It wasn't as if she'd done anything wrong. I was the one who, albeit
unintentionally, snuck up on her and startled her. It was my place to apologize, not
hers. The thought did cross my mind that she was apologizing for her friend's gruff
behavior, but again… that wasn't her fault either. Of course, I realized I would have
a very difficult time communicating all of this to her. I'd spent several hours last
evening sitting in front of my computer, trying to learn a handful of signs, and it was
still all I could do just to spell my name. Finger spelling seemed useful, but it was a
bitch to learn, and I didn't yet have the alphabet memorized.

One step at a time, I reminded myself before I became too overwhelmed by my

task.

Truth be told, my task was relatively simple. Assuming I found Bella, which

thankfully I had, I was going to approach her (much more carefully this time) and
introduce myself. I was counting on her recognizing me, which hopefully meant she
wouldn't brush me off. I really wanted a moment of her time. Actually, I'd need more
than a moment. It would probably take me several minutes just to sign my name. I
realized I could have written it down on a scrap of paper, but I didn't want to do
that. I wanted to make an effort to speak to her, and I wanted her to recognize that
I'd made the effort. Maybe then, she'd be open to getting to know me. I'd even gone
so far as purposely placing a brand new spiral notebook in my backpack for this
specific purpose.

But now she was sitting outside the College of Behavioral Sciences, happily

signing away with her friend, and I wasn't sure what to do. I could leave… give up
and just walk away based upon the very real possibility that this man was her
boyfriend. Or, I could sit and wait it out. There was no harm in observing her, right?
I told myself that if there were any outward signs of a relationship between the two
of them, I would leave. And I would. I wasn't looking to cause any trouble, and if
Bella really was dating this guy, I was certain he wouldn't appreciate me
approaching his girlfriend. But the more I watched the two of them together, the

- 24 -

more convinced I became that they weren't dating. Though their hands moved freely
between each other, they never once touched. They maintained a respectable
distance from each other, which made me feel slightly better. Finally, after what
seemed like forever, the two of them got up. Much to my relief, Bella and her giant
of a friend set out in opposite directions. She was about to enter the building. Here
was my chance.

Trying to appear as casual as possible, as if I had not just been secretly spying on

her, I rose from the ground to my feet. I stretched, under the guise that I had simply
been resting, and then grabbed my backpack off of the ground. Bella already had
her hand on the door and was about to walk inside. I couldn't chance losing her, so I
picked up my pace, walking briskly to the front of the building.

I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. I waited until Bella was safely inside

before opening the door. Even then, I was cautious. I'd done some research on the
deaf over the last several days, and I now knew that there was a right and a wrong
way of catching their attention. I could walk to Bella's side and wave my hand up
and down in a sweeping motion, or I could gently tap her on the shoulder. I opted
for the gentle tap. My reasons were twofold. First, it gave me an excuse to touch
her. Second, I didn't like the idea of waving my hand by her face. It seemed
inherently rude. Gathering my courage, I walked until I was only a pace or two
behind Bella. Then, reaching out, I very carefully tapped her shoulder.

I was nervous as hell when Bella turned in my direction, which I can assure you,

never happens. It was usually the other way around. But for some reason, I wanted
to impress her. I wanted her to like me. At first, Bella's face registered surprise, but
it was clear she recognized me and to my great relief, I watched as surprise
morphed into joy – definite joy. Bella's joy pleased me to no end, buoying my spirits
and giving me the confidence I needed to proceed. Still, I was shaking like crazy as I
slowly drew my hands in front of me. I was so fucking nervous. I really wanted to get
this right. I didn't want to look like a complete idiot while trying to do something as
simple as telling her my name. Very carefully, I made my hand into a flat palm
before resting it against my chest.

My…

Next, I carefully stacked the fore and middle fingers of each of my hands on top of

each other in the manner of an "x", tapping twice.

Name…

Here came the hard part – finger spelling. I took a deep breath, taking care to

- 25 -

think about each letter of my name before I formed it.

E…D…W…A…R…D

Bella's face broke out in a wide grin. Her smile was so contagious I couldn't help

but beam at her in return. I wondered what we looked like, the two of us standing
together in the hall. Traffic continued to move around us, but time was in fact
standing still for me. With her own hand, Bella repeated my signs back to me. But
then Bella surprised me. Instead of finger spelling her name as I expected her to do,
she formed what I was fairly certain was the letter "b" and swept it in front of her in
the manner of an arc. I was at once confused, and I guess my face gave me away
because Bella reached out and touched my arm – just as she'd done the other day.
She held it there for a moment before very slowly finger spelling her name.

*B…E…L…L…A*

And then she repeated the motion she'd made before – the one where she swept

the letter "b" in front of her. Understanding dawned on me then, and I realized this
must be her sign name. It was certainly easier than finger spelling. Suddenly, an
idea came to me. I knew it was risky, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. I wanted to
sign something else to Bella, and there was only one other word I could think to use.
I only hoped I wouldn't make her uncomfortable. Very slowly, I signed her name.
Then, making sure to hold her eyes steady with my own, I relaxed my right hand and
brought it to the center of my face, pulling it around in a twisting motion and ending
in a fist.

Beautiful…

Bella inhaled sharply, her expressive brown eyes growing wide with surprise, and

I immediately panicked. Fuck. Had I crossed the line? Had I made her feel
uncomfortable? I was vaguely aware of several students standing off to the side.
They snickered quietly, obviously having understood what I said. I was suddenly
very self-conscious, mentally berating myself for being so direct, but then Bella
smiled at me, and it was perhaps the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. It was timid
and shy at first, but then it transformed into one of pure delight. I returned her
smile without thought, overwhelmed by the way this girl made me feel. Bella
reached out and hesitantly gripped my wrist then, surprising me. My eyes traveled
to where her fingers wrapped around my hand and then back to her face. Bella
didn't need to sign anything to me (not that I would have understood anyway), the
question was clear on her face.

*Is this okay?*

- 26 -

She was seeking my approval, questioning whether or not it was okay to touch me,

and I slowly nodded my head. She smiled that shy smile again- a smile that would
surely kill me, then led me in the direction of a classroom. While passing through
the door, my eyes met with a laminated piece of paper that read: Basic American
Sign Language. I thought that was odd seeing as that Bella was obviously fluent in
sign, but then she headed to the front of the room and placed her bag on the table
there and it suddenly all made sense. Bella wasn't a student… she was the teacher. I
hadn't been expecting that, and I found myself wondering how old she was. She
didn't look much older than me. But if she was a teacher, she had to at least be in
grad school. I was still trying to process this information when Bella pulled an iPad
from her bag.

An iPad. Of course. Suddenly I felt silly for having brought along a spiral bound

notebook. I may as well have been living in the Stone Age.

Bella opened a word processing document, then immediately set to work typing.

*I don't have much time. I have a class to teach in fifteen minutes, but I

want to apologize for what happened on Monday. You startled me, is all.
Thank you for trying to help. It was very kind of you.*

I read what Bella wrote before pulling her iPad in my direction. I was about to

type my response when she reached out and placed her hand on top of mine,
stopping me. I looked up at her, and she waved her right hand in a circular motion,
seeming to indicate I should speak. But how would she understand me? I stared at
her, dumbfounded, as a knowing smile spread across her face. She quickly moved to
type something on her iPad.

*I can read lips.*

She could read lips? I narrowed my eyes at her, having a hard time believing what

she said to be true. But she continued to stand there, smirking at me.

"You have an unfair advantage, you know," I said out loud, testing her. She

shrugged her shoulders before typing a response.

*Not my fault I have superior capabilities. ;)*

I read what she wrote, liking that she was confident, if not a bit cocky. And was

that a wink? My eyes moved to hers and she smiled at me, letting me know her
comment had been made in jest. I shook my head. Thus far, our exchange had gone
much differently than I had imagined. Bella was… playful, and I liked that. But then

- 27 -

the reality of our situation settled in and without warning, I was struck by a sudden
sense of sadness. Bella was completely capable of communicating with me, yet I
lacked the skills necessary to carry on even the most basic of conversations.

Though I didn't consider myself an open book, Bella must have noticed my change

in demeanor because suddenly, her hand was waving up and down in front of me. I
have to say, rudeness aside, that particular method of capturing a person's attention
does work. I watched as she typed something on her iPad. When she was done, she
pushed it in my direction.

*Don't be sad, Green Eyes. I understand you better than you think.*

I was caught off guard by her words. How could… how did she know what I was…

Jesus, this girl was perceptive. She seemed to know what I was thinking without me
even having to say a thing. And she'd called me Green Eyes. I was pretty sure I liked
Bella… a lot.

A silence settled between us then, which, under our circumstances, meant I didn't

speak and Bella refrained from typing anything on her iPad. Instead, we just looked
at each other for a moment, each of us quietly studying the other, sizing each other
up. Soon, students started appearing at the door. A pair of young girls strolled by,
and I was pretty sure one of them whispered that I was "fucking hot". My thoughts
were confirmed when Bella chuckled softly by my side. She looked up at me then,
grinning as she reached for her iPad.

*Well, Green Eyes. Class is about to begin. Thanks for seeking me out. It

was really nice meeting you.*

I frowned when I read Bella's words. It was nice meeting me? I wasn't sure I liked

the sound of that. It seemed so… dismissive. Even though we just met, I didn't want
her dismissing me. I wanted to remain present and accounted for, preferably as a
part of her life. I hesitated for a moment before taking her iPad from her. I realized I
could just as easily speak, but I wanted some privacy - something a classroom full of
students couldn't afford me.

Will I see you again?

I took a chance asking the question, knowing I might appear too forward, but

Bella hadn't seemed to mind my forward nature when I called her beautiful earlier.
She'd also assigned me a nickname, Green Eyes, and if I was a betting man, I would
say that indicated at least a mild degree of interest on her part. Bella carefully
considered my question before typing out her response.

- 28 -

*That depends on you.*

It depended on me? How? I looked at Bella, my head cocked to the side as I tried

to figure out what she meant.

*You know where I work. I'll leave it up to you to come find me.*

Come find me… nothing else mattered to me in that moment, only those three

little words. Come find me. Bella was issuing me an invitation, an invitation to get to
know her, and it had been a long time since anything had made me so happy. I was
certain my face reflected that emotion - pure, unadulterated happiness, and I did
nothing to hide it. Thankfully, it appeared I wasn't the only one feeling that way.
Bella was currently biting down on her lower lip in a futile attempt to rein in her
smile. God, it was such a beautiful smile. And I would have stood there, staring at it
indefinitely and mirroring it with a silly grin of my own if a student sitting
somewhere in the back of the classroom hadn't cleared his throat.

"I'll see you later," I mouthed as I slowly backed away. Bella motioned for me to

wait as she quickly scribbled something on a scrap piece of paper. She folded the
paper in half before pressing it into my palm and I smiled at her, waving a final
farewell before walking out into the hall. Once there, I immediately opened my hand
to look at what she'd written.

*I'm counting on it.*

I'm counting on it. I turned Bella's words over in my head. Bella was counting on

me to find her. This thought alone had me grinning like a mad fool. Today had gone
better than I could have ever hoped for, and if I was interested in Bella before, I was
thoroughly enthralled with her now. She was amazing. She said so much with so few
words. And the fact that she could read my lips blew my mind. It was almost as if
we'd carried on a normal conversation.

Almost…

The truth of the matter was I was limited in my ability to understand Bella. She

had to resort to typing on an iPad to communicate her thoughts to me, and I didn't
like that. I didn't like that I couldn't look at her face as she "spoke" to me and I
didn't like that I couldn't understand the movement of her hands. I wanted to. God…
I really fucking wanted to understand her, but would that ever be possible? I'd
watched her and her friend signing back and forth to each other on two separate
occasions now, and I knew that sign language wasn't just something one could easily
pick up. On the contrary, it is something that requires a lot of practice before one

- 29 -

can even hope to carry on an intelligent conversation. That thought depressed me
more than I cared to admit.

As I walked home that afternoon, I had a lot to think about. Two days ago, I

probably would have rolled my eyes if somebody had told me I was about to meet a
girl, a deaf girl no less who would turn my world upside down. That sort of thing just
didn't happen. But I guess it did… because it was happening to me. And it was
enough to put a spring in my step and a smile on my face, and at least for the time
being, that was more than good enough for me.

I could figure out the mechanics of everything later.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 30 -

Always on My Mind

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Thanks to azure0610 for acting as my spectacular beta and to aerobee82,

JenEsme and b4bystar for pre-reading this little story for me. The lovely Nayarit
from ADF created my beautiful banner!

You guys are the best!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 4: Always on My Mind

The funny thing about liking someone is you think about them.

All the fucking time.

That's how I knew I liked Bella. Since accidentally finding my way into her life

four days ago, I thought about her all the time.

Bella's eyes.

- 31 -

Bella's brown eyes.

My fingers tripped up, creating a cacophony of noise in the practice room, and I

was pretty sure Chopin just rolled over in his grave. I'd be busy digging my own
grave if I didn't stop thinking about Bella and focus on Chopin's Polonaise #6 in A
Flat. This was the second of two pieces I'd be performing in several weeks, and I
must have been smoking crack when I elected to play it. The extremely fast scales
and arpeggios, not to mention broken and wide fingered chords, were kicking my
ass. It was a good thing I had Schubert all but wrapped up. I'd need to give Chopin
my undivided attention if I didn't want to jeopardize my piano performance grade.

I glanced at my watch. It was half past eleven. Organic Chemistry had been

cancelled this morning and I'd wandered over to the School of Music practice rooms
to kill some time before finding Bella. I was much less anxious about approaching
her today than I was on Wednesday, but I was still nervous. Now that the ice had
been broken, I wondered what we would talk about. Would conversation flow
naturally? Would it be awkward communicating primarily through an iPad? Did we
have anything in common? I knew the only way to find answers to these questions
was to sit down with Bella and try to have more than a five minute conversation with
her. Unfortunately, that wasn't likely to happen in the few minutes we were afforded
together before her class.

I was too distracted to practice, so I packed away my sheet music and headed

across campus to the convenience store. I was grabbing a Coke from the
refrigerator when Tanya appeared at my side.

"Hey," she smiled, and I could tell from the way her eyes darted about that she

was slightly nervous. I assumed it had to do with what happened Monday night.
Clearing my throat, I smiled down at her in greeting, doing my best to make her feel
comfortable. I didn't want things to be awkward between us.

"Hey, Tanya. How's it going?"

"It's going good," she replied. "I was just over in the Marshall Center studying for

finals. Thought I'd take a break and grab a snack." Tanya waved a bag of white
cheddar popcorn by her side, indicating her intended purchase.

"Yeah, I'll be heading in that direction later tonight. It's crackdown time," I

laughed.

"You're not going into Ybor City?" she wondered. "I think Rose and Emmett are

thinking of going bar hopping."

- 32 -

"Nah," I shook my head. "Unlike them, I've got my priorities straight," I joked.

Tanya laughed along with me, but it was somewhat forced. I was beginning to feel
slightly uncomfortable myself when she spoke.

"Listen, Edward, about Monday night…"

I inwardly groaned. I didn't really want to talk about Monday night. Not because I

was bothered by what happened but because some things were better left in the
past. I tried to politely wave Tanya off, letting her know that everything was fine
between us, but she interrupted me.

"Look, I know we agreed to forget about what happened, and I fully intend to do

so. It's just… I've been thinking about it all week, and I'm kind of embarrassed. I
wasn't really thinking straight, and I don't want you to think I'm that type of girl. I
don't proposition guys like that, and believe me, it won't happen again. I like you
Edward, I really do, but I understand you're not interested. I want that to be clear. I
just wish Emmett and Rose would cool it with the matchmaking business," she
laughed, trying to add a bit of levity to the situation. I laughed along with her, in the
hopes she'd see that everything really was okay between us.

"They're definitely persistent," I agreed.

"Yeah…"

"But we're adults," I reminded her. "We make our own decisions."

"We do. I just really don't want there to be any awkwardness between us," she

admitted. "Rose and Emmett – they spend a lot of time together. And I know how
close you and Emmett are…" Tanya trailed off, and I stared at her for a moment
before making up my mind whether or not to make my next move. I decided it was a
friendly gesture, and I was hoping it would do the job of reassuring her that we were
all right. So, I pulled her into a quick hug.

"There's no awkwardness here," I said as I hugged her lightly to me, and I was

pretty sure she breathed a sigh of relief. We stepped back from our embrace then,
and Tanya smiled up at me.

"So, are you heading home?" she asked, obviously trying to make casual

conversation. I started walking towards the checkout area at the front of the store
and she followed along.

"Meeting a friend, actually," I said without thinking. It was amazing how easily it

- 33 -

rolled off my tongue. Bella already felt like a friend, even though I'd only known her
for a matter of days. Thankfully, Tanya didn't press me for more information and
after we each checked out, we waved goodbye before heading in opposite directions.

While walking to the College of Behavioral Sciences, I thought about Tanya. She

really was a nice girl. I was glad she'd approached me in the convenience store. I
hadn't really given Monday night much thought this past week, but if she was
feeling awkward, I was glad she cleared the air. Undoubtedly, the four of us would
all be going out again, and it was important to me that we all felt comfortable. Of
course, our situation would be a lot less awkward if Emmett and Rose stopped trying
to fix us up. I'd spoken to Emmett about that on Tuesday, and he agreed to leave it
alone, but I had my doubts he would hold off for very long. For whatever reason, he
was convinced Tanya and I were perfect for each other. But in my mind, there was
only one woman I was interested in.

That woman was presently sitting on the same bench she'd occupied on

Wednesday, only today, she was alone. I smiled when I saw her, stopping and taking
a moment to study her from afar. She was so fucking gorgeous - particularly today,
with a soft breeze blowing through her hair. Her hair was down, and I chuckled
softly as she repeatedly brushed uncooperative strands from her face, blown there
by the wind. Almost as if she sensed my presence, Bella suddenly looked up from her
book. Her eyes scanned the horizon, and I imagined she was looking for me. I
imagined she was wondering if I was coming to find her. She didn't see me, and
moments later she looked down. I watched her for a little while longer before
heading her way.

I approached Bella from the front this time, so there was no need to tap her on her

shoulder. When I was standing five or so feet away, she looked up on her own. My
breath hitched as she smiled at me, and if I wasn't mistaken, she looked relieved. I
pondered that for a moment, wondering if maybe she'd doubted I would come. How
could she doubt that? I was completely under her spell.

I waved hello as I took a seat beside her. Bella turned to face me and waved back.

Then, having a trick or two up my sleeve, I surprised her by asking her how she
was… in sign language. Bella smiled at me, clearly impressed. Very slowly, she
spread apart the five fingers of her right hand and brought her thumb to the center
of her chest.

*Fine… thank you.*

She pointed to me then, her brows arched high in question. I confidently

answered her back.

- 34 -

Fine.

Unfortunately, that was it as far as my newly acquired sign language skills were

concerned. I'd wanted to try and learn more, but the end of the semester was
rapidly approaching and I had several finals to study for. Bella pulled her iPad from
her backpack and started typing away.

*I'm impressed, Green Eyes. You've been studying.*

I knew she was referring to my use of sign language, and I shrugged my shoulders

as if it were no big deal, even though the truth of the matter was I was basking in
her praise.

"I may have picked up a thing or two," I said, making sure to look Bella directly in

the eye.

Bella smirked.

*No need to be modest. You now know more sign language than

ninety-nine percent of the population. Thank you for making the effort.*

Bella pushed the iPad back in my direction and I read her response. I stared at the

words for a moment, pretty sure there was a deeper meaning to them I was
somehow missing. Something lingered there, beneath the surface, but I wasn't quite
sure what it was.

"I wanted to," I said, holding Bella's gaze and hoping she could see how sincere I

was. I think she could, because she nodded in response before turning her attention
back to her iPad.

*I believe you.*

I was glad Bella believed me. I wanted her to trust me and to understand that I

wanted to get to know her on her terms. I wondered briefly if this was something
new for her. I wondered how many people offered her a token hello before running
in the opposite direction. It took effort to get to know someone like Bella, effort most
people probably wouldn't make. Perhaps that was the look of relief I'd seen on her
face only moments before. Relief that I'd actually made the effort. Of course, if she
was relieved, it would imply that she wanted me to make the effort. I really hoped
that was the case. I took her iPad from her then, a question suddenly popping into
my head. She resisted, apparently preferring to read my lips instead, but I laid my
flattened palm against the center of my chest and made several small, circular

- 35 -

motions.

Please?

Bella seemed pleased with my use of yet another new sign and thus handed over

the iPad.

I'm sorry. I can see that you prefer to read lips. I'm just not sure how this

works. How much can I say at one time? How slowly do I need to speak? Do I
need to use simple words? I don't mean to offend you. I'm not implying
you're not intelligent because obviously, you are. I just want to try and get
this right.

Bella peered at the screen from over my shoulder, reading as I typed. I heard her

laugh softly when I asked about using simple words, but she didn't seem to be upset.
Thank God for that. I really didn't want to offend her, but at the same time, I didn't
understand how lip reading worked. It seemed awfully difficult to me. This morning,
as an experiment of sorts, I'd turned on CNN and put the TV on mute. I watched the
anchors closely as they delivered the news but fuck if I could understand a single
word they said. Of course, Bella was a seasoned lip reader, but I did wonder exactly
how much she could understand when I spoke to her.

*LOL… that's a lot of questions, but I'm flattered that you care enough to

ask. The truth is, I probably only catch sixty to seventy percent of what you
say. Even then, there are misunderstandings. For example, I routinely mix
up words starting with "p" and "b". They look very similar to me. Speaking
slowly helps, and enunciating does too. Simple thoughts are also easier to
understand. I've been trained to watch for commonly used words and
phrases.*

Trained? I frowned at her use of that word. For some reason or another, I didn't

like the sound of it. Animals are trained, people are taught. I raised my brows in
question, slowly enunciating my next question, just as she'd said to do.

"Trained?" I asked.

*Yes, trained. That's the best way of describing it. My teacher would

reward me with candy when I got a word right.*

Bella laughed quietly beside me, but it was a humorless laugh, as if she were

recalling an unpleasant that I'd upset her, I tugged the iPad in my direction,
apologizing for my question.

- 36 -

*It's all right, Green Eyes. It's not your fault. It was a long time ago, and I

have to say, my training comes in handy. It helps me to understand you…*

I looked up at Bella and she smiled shyly at me, and for the first time since

meeting her, I had the urge to kiss her. The urge wasn't entirely unexpected. Bella
was goddamn beautiful, and with each passing moment, I found myself liking her
more and more. But I knew that I couldn't try to kiss her. Something told me this
relationship we were forming was tenuous at best, and I'd have to take things slowly
if I didn't want to scare her off. I got the distinct impression that I needed to earn
Bella's trust, and I fully intended to do so.

"So, no iPad?" I asked, pulling it from her grasp and waving it in the air. Bella

shrugged before grabbing it back and typing out her response.

*Use your judgment. Some thoughts are definitely better written down.

But I will say this - I prefer to look at your face when we communicate and
not at a computer screen.*

Fuck. I was an idiot. Of course she did. Hadn't I thought the very same thing the

other day? I might not have a choice in the matter – I had no other means by which
to communicate with Bella than through her iPad. But she did have a choice, and I
wanted to do whatever made her happy.

"All right," I said, looking her straight in the eye. "I'll speak to you, but if there's

something you don't understand, please tell me."

This was important to me. If we were really going to try to be friends, I didn't

want there to be any unnecessary obstacles for us to have to overcome. I didn't want
to have to sort through avoidable misunderstandings. Bella smiled widely at me in
response, and then, instead of typing me a message, she did something that
surprised me. She signed to me. Of course, if I understood her correctly, she only
signed three words.

*I'll tell you.*

"I" and "you" were self-explanatory, and "tell" wasn't all that difficult to figure out;

it was clear she was responding to my question. Still, it made me ridiculously happy
to watch her hands and face and understand what she said. It also made me wonder
if there would ever come a time when we wouldn't need an iPad to communicate.

The next several weeks found me meeting up with Bella before her Basic

American Sign Language class. I wasn't sure if it was just a coincidence or if she

- 37 -

asked him to stay away, but I hadn't seen her friend, the giant, since the day they
were sitting together on the bench. I still didn't know who he was. Bella and I never
talked about things like that. I never asked her about her friends or her family and
she never asked me about mine. Instead, we chatted about things like school and
outside interests. It was all very mundane, yet at the same time wholly significant.
We were getting to know each other, a little bit at a time.

During this time, I found out that Bella was a second year grad student studying

Communication Sciences & Disorders. Her area of concentration was deaf
education, and once she graduated, she planned to utilize her degree by teaching
the deaf in the public school system here in Tampa. I also discovered that Bella was
twenty-three, which was only one year older than me. I liked that. She was focused
and mature, and she seemed to have a pretty good idea of what she wanted to do
with her life. I thought she was amazing, really. She explained to me that she used
an interpreter for her lectures, but with that one exception, she did everything else
on her own. She never let her disability stand in the way of achieving her dreams,
and that really said a lot. According to her, only a small percentage of deaf people
actually graduated from college with a four year degree and even fewer went on to
earn advanced degrees.

One day before class, Bella asked me about my major. This was the first time

there was any hint of awkwardness between the two of us. When Bella realized I was
a double major, studying both music and medicine, she grew suddenly quiet. And if I
wasn't mistaken, remorse briefly swept across her face. She looked away before I
could be certain, but I realized then that I'd hit a nerve. Bella never looks away. For
the rest of our time together that day, she barely managed to look me in the eye. We
talked a little bit using her iPad, but I knew she wasn't really with me; her heart
wasn't really in it. I didn't press her to share her feelings. It was pretty clear why
she was upset, and I wasn't sure what I could say to make it better. The truth of the
matter is she's deaf. She would never be able to hear music. Nothing I could say or
do would ever change that.

One week later, my semester had officially come to an end. It was Friday morning,

and I'd just taken my Organic Chemistry final. It went well. Actually, I was feeling
pretty good about all my exams. I'd knocked my piano exam out of the park despite
the fact I hadn't been able to think straight for the last several weeks. Bella was
always on my mind these days, and that had posed a bit of a challenge as I tried to
prepare for finals. But finals were over now, and I was happy to be standing in line
at the Starbuck's located inside the library, waiting to pay for two coffees.

After paying, I exited the library and headed towards the spot I knew Bella would

be waiting for me. I was excited about seeing her today. I had to miss our previous

- 38 -

meeting due to a study group and today was the last day I would see her before the
start of Christmas break. I was flying home to Chicago tomorrow, and Bella would
be flying across the country to her home state of Washington in order to spend the
holidays with her parents. It would be close to three weeks before I saw her again,
and that thought upset me more than it probably should. We were just friends. In
fact, the only time we spent together was the twenty or so minutes before her class,
three days a week. So really, there wasn't any reason for me to be upset. There
wasn't any reason… but still, I was. I tried very hard to push those thoughts aside
and put on a happy face as I approached her. Luckily, it wasn't all that hard to do.
She had me grinning like a stupid fool the moment she looked up and caught my
eye.

*Edward.*

She signed my name by forming the letter "e" with her right hand and shaking it

gently back and forth in front of her. She'd only recently started doing this, and I
wondered if she had taken it upon herself to assign me an official sign name. If she
had, I wasn't sure what I thought about the chosen gesture. It seemed so…
uninspired. I'd learned that Bella's sign name, assigned by her parents when she
was a toddler, was actually the letter "b", formed in the shape of a rainbow. She was
the multi-colored light of her parent's lives, she joked. I wanted to ask her what the
meaning behind my name was, but I didn't have the courage. I was afraid of what
she might say. Nice guy, funny friend… all of those would have been flattering, but
not what I wanted to hear.

Bella grinned when I approached, eagerly accepting the coffee I handed her. I'd

only just started bringing her coffee. If I was being honest, I was hoping it would
add a little more permanence to our routine. I wanted to create the expectation that
I would be there before class, coffee in hand and ready to talk. Of course, this would
all change next semester. Our schedules would undoubtedly be different, but I was
hoping we could still find the time to meet right here, at our little bench. These past
four weeks had been amazing, and most of that was the result of conversations that
had taken place right here.

It was a chilly day in Tampa, not uncommon at this time of the year, and I as I sat

down beside her, I noticed that Bella's cheeks were red. Without thinking, I lifted my
hand to her face, resting it gently on her skin. My hand was warm from holding the
coffee cup, but her cheek was cold to the touch. I let my hand linger there for a
moment, warming her flushed skin before slowly drawing it away.

You're freezing.

- 39 -

Bella smiled shyly, nodding in response before taking a sip of her coffee. She

hadn't protested my hand on her face, and that made me feel incredibly happy.

Do you want to go inside?

Bella shook her head.

*I'm fine. It's a beautiful day. Let's sit and talk.*

It still amazed me that after only four weeks time, Bella and I were already able to

have a very basic conversation in sign language. Together, we'd been working on
some of the more commonly used signs. Bella had also taken to signing simple
phrases, using exaggerated facial expressions and pronounced gestures to help her
get her point across. I think we amused ourselves, although I'm sure we looked a
little ridiculous. Our time together almost always devolved into at least one fit of
laughter, but that was one of the nicest things about spending time with Bella. We
laughed… a lot. We were happy and silly, but then just as easily we slipped into
more serious conversation. That's when we would pull out the iPad.

Unfortunately, twenty minutes went by much too fast, and it seemed as if our time

was always up before we had a chance to dig too deep. I wanted to get to know Bella
better. Much better. I wanted to reach beneath the surface and learn more about
her life and what made her tick. I was really hoping we'd have the chance to do that
next semester. I was already thinking about asking her out – to lunch. It was time to
take this friendship to the next level and start spending time together outside of
school.

Setting my coffee on the bench beside me, I tugged Bella's iPad from her hand.

Are you packed and ready to go? What time is your flight? Thanks to my

meddling sister, I'm flying out at the crack of dawn. I'm not happy about
that.

Bella smiled at me, her brows arching up in surprise.

*You have a sister?*

Bella signed the word for sister and I repeated it back to her.

Yes. A younger sister, but only by eighteen months. Her name is Alice.

We're very close.

- 40 -

I paused for a moment after writing that. Alice and I were close, but it occurred to

me that I had yet to tell her about Bella. Part of me felt guilty about that. Alice told
me everything about her life. Sometimes, too much. But here I was - holding out on
her. I guess that I thought it would be better to tell her about Bella in person. Or
maybe I was just worried about what my family and friends would think. Of course,
Bella and I were just friends, so it really shouldn't make a difference either way…

*Tell me about her.*

Bella's request drew me from my musings, and I smiled as I typed out what I

hoped would be deemed an acceptable response by Alice.

It's kind of hard to describe Alice. She's not your average person, that's for

sure. She's a force of life. People are naturally attracted to her, and I
guarantee you she puts a smile on everyone's face. If you think I'm friendly,
you should meet her.

I chuckled softly as I thought of my baby sister, listening as Bella laughed in

unison with me. As was her habit as of late, she was reading what I typed from over
my shoulder.

It's more than that, though. Alice is incredibly intuitive. She reads people

well and has an uncanny ability to guide them in making the right decisions.
She has always been my go to person when I need advice.

This was true. My sister was my confidant, and that thought made me feel all the

more guilty for having withheld information about Bella. Thankfully, there would be
plenty of time to discuss whatever it was that was going on between Bella and me
over the holidays.

*She sounds wonderful.*

Bella looked up at me and smiled, and I smiled back.

She is, I signed before using the iPad to ask Bella whether or not she had any

brothers and sisters. She shifted beside me as she read the question, warm breath
exiting her mouth in a soft sigh. I turned my head in her direction, peering into her
eyes, but it was impossible to know what lay hidden behind them. For as expressive
as Bella was, she was also an expert at hiding her emotions when she wanted to.

*No,*she signed before tugging the iPad onto her lap.

- 41 -

*I was born deaf. Not surprisingly, it was unexpected, and it was a lot for

my parents to handle. They had to learn a whole new language just to
communicate with me, and it wasn't just that. There was speech therapy,
lip-reading, learning how to properly read and write… so, yeah… they just
didn't have the time or energy to take care of another child.*

I sat on the bench beside Bella, quietly considering everything she'd shared. She

had just revealed more about herself in one paragraph than she had the entire time
we'd known each other. I was pleased she felt comfortable enough with me to share
such intimate details of her life, and now that she had, I was eager to learn more.
But when I went to take the iPad from her, anxious to ask another question, Bella
slipped it from my hands, gently shaking her head no. There wasn't anything rude
about her actions, but her intent was clear. She was effectively shutting down our
conversation – one that had only just begun, and I couldn't help but be disappointed.
She'd done that before, most notably on the day she learned that music was one of
my majors. I wanted to call her out on it, to tell her that she could trust me with
anything she had to say, but I knew that now wasn't the time to push - not before we
were about to part ways for several weeks.

I watched as Bella typed something on her iPad.

*So, I should probably get going. I need to get to class a little early today

in case any of my students have questions before the exam.*

Bella looked up at me and I nodded. I wouldn't let her see that I was hurt she'd

shut me out. After all, she had let me in I reminded myself… at least a little. I
reached to take the iPad from Bella and this time she let it go.

Have a merry Christmas, Bella. I guess I'll see you next semester.

I realized my response was rather lackluster, but that's honestly how I felt. I

wasn't going to pretend to be anything different. Bella stared at me for a brief
moment before reaching for her iPad and slipping it into her backpack. Then,
turning away from me, I watched as she tore a piece of paper from her notebook.
She smiled softly as she scribbled something down.

*Merry Christmas, Edward,* she signed as she rose from her seat, and her smile

was so warm and genuine I couldn't help but smile in return.

Merry Christmas, Bella, I signed back. And then, in a moment of time that passed

much too quickly, Bella bent and kissed my cheek. Afterwards, she pressed the piece
of paper she'd been writing on into my hand and offered me one last smile and a

- 42 -

wave before walking away. And then I was alone on our bench. I immediately
opened her note, curious as to what it said. I smiled from ear to ear when I read it.
She may not have been original, but it was exactly what I wanted to hear.

*I'm counting on it, Green Eyes.*

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 43 -

Bizarre Love Triangle

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Thanks to azure0610 for acting as my spectacular beta and to aerobee82,

JenEsme and b4bystar for pre-reading this little story for me. The lovely Nayarit
from ADF created my beautiful banner!

You guys are the best!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 5: Bizarre Love Triangle

It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon, and I had just finished packing my bag for my

trip to Chicago. I placed it by my bedroom door so that all I would have to do in the
morning would be to grab it on my way out. I had to be at Tampa International
Airport by no later than 5:30 in the morning for my 7:00 a.m. flight, so the more I
could do now to make my departure less complicated the better. I had already
arranged for a cab, so I was all set on that front. Really, there wasn't much left to
do. I figured I would order a pizza later on and maybe see if Emmett wanted to go
out and grab a couple of beers somewhere close. After that, I would call it an early

- 44 -

night.

Shutting my bedroom door, I walked over to my computer and opened up Internet

Explorer. As was my habit as of late, I accessed my Favorites list and scrolled down
until I found . After a bit of searching around, I decided that this was the best site
for helping a person learn sign language. I tried to learn several new signs a day and
then practice them with Bella when I saw her. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be
possible for the next several weeks, but I decided I wouldn't let that stop me from
learning new signs. In fact, maybe I could impress Bella by learning to sign a poem
or something similar over Christmas. It would be worth seeing the look of surprise
on her face if I did.

I was in the middle of practicing signs for familial relationships when my bedroom

door flew open.

"Jesus, Emmett," I mumbled. "Why the hell don't you ever knock?"

"Why the hell don't you just lock the door?" he ribbed back, lobbing a pillow in my

direction.

I rolled my eyes before swiveling around in my chair to face him.

"Hey, you want to go grab a beer or two? Nothing crazy. I've got an early morning

tomorrow."

"Thanks to your crazy sister," Emmett reminded me, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Actually, Rose and I were thinking about going out. She and Tanya want to go
dancing. You know, to celebrate the end of the semester and all."

I groaned, not really caring for that idea.

"Man, what is up with you?" Emmett laughed, sensing my reluctance. "You never

want to go out anymore. This wouldn't have anything to do with Tanya, would it?"

"What? No!" I exclaimed. "I told you. We cleared the air. We're cool with each

other. It's just… fuck, I don't know."

"Damn, you're a moody bastard," Emmett laughed. And then I watched as he

narrowed his eyes and honed in on my computer screen. "What the hell, Cullen?
You're researching sign language again?" Emmett was still laughing, but
immediately sobered when he saw that I wasn't joining in.

- 45 -

"Edward?" he asked, and I fidgeted under his gaze.

"It's nothing," I mumbled. "I met a girl, that's all. She's deaf and I've been trying

to learn a little sign language in order to communicate with her." I shrugged as if it
was no big deal. And really, it wasn't. At least I didn't think so. But apparently
Emmett did, which was exactly why I had decided against mentioning anything
sooner.

"A girl? he asked, sounding slightly incredulous. "You met a deaf girl?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?" I huffed a bit more defensively than I intended, and

Emmett immediately put his hands up in the air in a conciliatory manner.

"Whoa, no need to get defensive. It just… surprises me. That's all. You haven't

mentioned anything about a girl…"

"That's because there's nothing to tell," I interrupted him. "We're just friends," I

explained, trying my best to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"You're not acting like you're just friends," Emmett deadpanned. I looked him in

the eye, kind of irritated by his statement, but he didn't back down.

"Look, Edward, I'm just calling it like I see it. Case in point - you're defensive.

You've also been acting weird, ever since… wait! When did you meet this girl?"
Emmett suddenly asked, and I was pretty sure he had figured it all out.

"Right after Thanksgiving," I mumbled, and a knowing look spread across

Emmett's face as he slowly nodded his head.

"I knew it," he said. "That's why you wouldn't give Tanya a chance, isn't it?" he

asked, but I shook my head.

"No. It had nothing to do with that. I'm just not interested in her in that way. It

had nothing to do with Bella."

"Bella?"

"Yes. My… friend – her name's Bella."

"Friend?" Emmett repeated, amusement dancing in his eyes. "I think you're

kidding yourself there," he continued, and though there was a hint of a smirk on his
face, it was clear he was being serious. "I think this girl means more to you than you

- 46 -

realize."

I sighed in frustration. I hadn't really intended on having this conversation with

anyone yet, let alone Emmett. I wanted a little more time to try and sort through my
feelings for Bella. But now that we were having it, I figured I may as well come
clean.

"Maybe she does," I admitted. "I don't know. To be honest, it's kind of taken me by

surprise." Emmett nodded slowly before lowering himself to my bed.

"So… she's really deaf?" he asked. "As in, she can't hear a thing?"

"I think so," I replied as honestly as I could. The truth was I didn't really know the

answer to that question. "We haven't really discussed her disability in depth," I
admitted.

"So you really… talk to her?" Emmett wondered, seemingly confused. "How? I

mean, you can't have learned sign language that fast…"

"I've learned a few signs," I explained. "But mostly we communicate though her

iPad. She also reads lips."

"She does?" Emmett appeared just as amazed by this fact as I was.

"Yeah," I laughed. "She really does."

"That's cool," Emmett noted before falling silent. He sat on the bed, seeming to

consider something before finally speaking again.

"Why haven't you said anything before now? I mean, were you planning on telling

me what's going on?"

I looked directly at Emmett, trying to read the expression on his face. He didn't

appear to be upset with me for holding out on him, but then again, he was my best
friend. I guessed there was a certain expectation that of all people, I would tell him.

"I was going to tell you… at some point," I assured him. "It's just… I've spent the

last few weeks trying to figure things out. At first I thought maybe it would be cool
to just be friends with her. We really hit if off. She's amazing, and we have a lot of
fun when we're together. But lately… well, lately I've found that my feelings are
changing. And it scares the shit out of me," I admitted.

- 47 -

"I can see why," Emmett said. And though his words weren't meant to upset me,

on some level, they did.

"It would be… complicated having a relationship with her, wouldn't it?" he

wondered, and I quietly nodded my head. There was no point in pretending
otherwise. "And what about her? Does she feel the same about you?"

"I don't know," I sighed, growing more and more frustrated with my situation by

the minute. "We haven't had a chance to spend that much time together. We only
see each other in school. At times, I think she might be interested in me, but I also
get the distinct impression that I need to take things slow. I think she may have
been hurt in the past."

"Hmm... well, listen. You're obviously somewhat stressed out about this…"

"Actually," I interrupted. "I was just fine until you came along."

"Whatever, dude," Emmett laughed. "Whether you want to admit it or not, you've

got a lot on your mind. Why not come out with us tonight. It'll be fun - one last
hurrah before leaving for Chicago."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Last time I let you talk me into going to Ybor City as a group, things between

Tanya and me were kind of uncomfortable," I pointed out.

"You're the one who said the two of you have worked things out…"

"We have," I agreed.

"And I've already told you, I respect your wishes where she's concerned," Emmett

reassured me. "We'll all go out together tonight and it will be strictly platonic… I
swear. So what will it be?"

And that is how I found myself in Emmett's Jeep, heading down I-75 at nine

o'clock that Friday night. Tanya sat next to me in the backseat, humming along to
Green Day. She looked nice tonight, and I told her so when we picked her and Rose
up. I figured there was no reason for me to be impolite, and Tanya seemed very
appreciate of this. She thanked me, and we had a brief discussion about how our
finals went before our conversation fell flat. I didn't mind. I wasn't one to engage in
small talk. I was somewhat preoccupied, anyway; I was thinking about the
conversation I'd had with Emmett a few hours before.

- 48 -

It is funny how talking with him about Bella lent a certain degree of clarity to my

feelings for her. I knew I liked her. I had known it since the day we first talked. But I
don't think I realized to what degree I liked her until Emmett confronted me about
it. I admit I had been worried about telling him about Bella. I knew he would
probably have questions that I didn't have the answers for. I think that was the main
reason why I hesitated to say anything to anyone. That and I wanted to be sure of
how I felt. But I was sure now. The question was did Bella feel the same?

Ybor City was crowded when we arrived, which didn't surprise me at all. It was a

Friday night and to top it off, the semester was officially over. There were people
everywhere, crowded into bars and spilling out into the streets. Tanya and Rose had
a couple of drinks before they left, and I was pretty sure that whatever Tanya was
drinking out of her water bottle wasn't lemonade. My thoughts were confirmed
when Rose swiped the bottle from her and took a quick swig. She visibly winced
before handing the bottle back.

"What are you drinking, anyway?" I asked as I grabbed the bottle from Tanya's

hand.

"Vodka and Crystal Light," she announced as I took a firm pull. I swallowed the

liquid down, nearly choking in the process.

"Jesus, this tastes like straight vodka," I sputtered, wiping my mouth with the back

of my hand.

"What are you, a pussy?" Emmett laughed as the bottle made its way around to

him. He threw it back, drinking more than Rose and I combined before coming up
for air.

"Fuck, that's strong!" he exclaimed, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Who's calling who a pussy now?" I joked while shoving him in the arm.

Amidst our playing around, Tanya and Rose wandered off in the direction of a

cigar stand. Ybor City was famous for its hand rolled, Cuban cigars. Both Tanya and
Rose were partial to the cherry flavored ones, and no sooner had Emmett and I
finished off the vodka and Crystal Light than the two of them were strutting ahead
of us, cigars dangling from their mouths.

"Those things are foul," I commented as we walked along behind them. "I can't

believe you let Rosalie kiss you after smoking that."

- 49 -

"Actually, she tastes kind of good," Emmett replied with a pop of his mouth.

"Whatever," I said, giving him another playful shove. "You're full of shit and you

know it."

The four of us walked along the street for a little while. A new club had recently

opened up near the end that the girls wanted to check out. I was catching a nice
buzz from the shots that Emmett and I downed in a bar a little ways back, and I was
feeling pretty good. I didn't even mind the crowd that had gathered outside
Technique. Technique had only been open since Thanksgiving, but it was already a
hot spot on the strip.

Stepping into line, I glanced around at all the people waiting to get inside, and I

couldn't help but chuckle as I watched a young girl rub a copious amount of lotion
onto her hands. Apparently this club operated in the same manner that another
popular one in the area did and stamped the hands of those under the age of
twenty-one. With the lotion in place, the stamp easily rubbed off once the person
was inside, allowing them to drink freely from the bar. I was never that desperate to
drink inside a bar. When I was younger, I normally got trashed before going out.
That or I used my fake ID. It's funny how now that I was legal, going out to bars and
getting tanked didn't hold near the appeal it once did.

After what seemed like forever, the four of us were finally admitted inside, and I

had to say, I was impressed. The owners of the club spared no expense. It was
multi-level, with several bars on both the top and bottom floors. The dance floor was
enormous, framed by collections of comfortable lounge seats and tables and booths
for those who preferred to just hang out. Of course, it would be nearly impossible to
carry on a conversation in this club. The music system was state of the art and the
volume was pumped up so high it was difficult to hear yourself think. Emmett leaned
into me, cupping his hand with his mouth and yelling something in my ear.

"What!" I yelled back, unable to hear a word he said.

Emmett gestured towards the bar then pointed at a booth in the far right hand

corner of the club that was just opening up. I got the picture and headed in that
direction, alone. Tanya and Rose had abandoned Emmett and me the moment we
walked through the door. I assumed they were out on the dance floor, though I
didn't bother trying to find them. There must have been hundreds of sweaty bodies
packed together out there.

By force of habit, I let my eyes wander over the bodies of several particularly good

looking women dancing nearby, but while I found them attractive I wasn't interested

- 50 -

in approaching any of them. Not even the tall brunette whose blue eyes momentarily
met mine. The hair color was right… yes. But the eyes… they were all wrong. I
offered her a friendly smile before turning my attention elsewhere. I didn't want to
give her the wrong idea. Unfortunately, she didn't take the hint.

"Hey, there, handsome," she greeted me after she casually strolled over to where I

was sitting. She reached out with her perfectly manicured hand, letting it rest not so
casually on my shoulder. "I saw you watching me on the dance floor," she continued
as she began to gently rub her hand back and forth. It started to make its way into
my hair, but I jerked my head away.

Fuck, this girl was forward.

"What's wrong?" she asked, all doe-eyed and dumb. "Don't you want to dance?"

Actually, no, I don't. You're way too fucking forward for my tastes, and did I

mention that I want you to get your fucking hands off of me?

That's what I was thinking, but of course, it's not what I said. I could be

diplomatic, when necessary.

"Listen," I said, grabbing the girl's hand as firmly as I could without hurting her. I

dropped it unceremoniously by her side. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm really not
interested."

I was hoping I had gotten my point across by the manner in which I'd spoken to

her. I was pretty brusque, and there wasn't the slightest bit of hesitation in my
voice. Unfortunately, yet again, the girl couldn't take a hint. She reached out to
touch me another time, and I stopped her with my hand, leveling my eyes at her.

"Don't," I calmly warned.

"Aww, come on Green Eyes, don't be like that," she purred, and I nearly lost it.

Something inside me snapped when she called me Green Eyes. That's what Bella
called me. I didn't want any other girl, let alone this skank, calling me that. I stood
up and was about to start telling her off when Emmett approached with our beers.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked, his eyes narrowing as he noted my intense

expression. He looked from me to the girl before quickly setting the beers down on
the table. He went to move between us then but she wisely stepped away.

"Asshole," she muttered under her breath before slinking back onto the dance

- 51 -

floor.

Emmett turned to me.

"What the hell, Edward?" he asked. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," I muttered, reaching behind me to grab my beer off the table. I

chugged almost the entire bottle before slamming it back down. Jesus, it was hot in
here.

Emmett started to laugh.

"I can't take you anywhere, can I?" he asked, an amused expression creeping

across his face. "The girls just fall at your feet. Like flies." Emmett chuckled at his
own joke, and I felt my scowl pull up into a reluctant grin.

"Unfortunately, the one girl I actually want to fall at my feet doesn't even know

I'm interested," I sighed.

"And whose fault is that?" Emmett teased. "Nobody's but your own. Sometimes

you have to take the bull by the horns, my friend."

"Thanks for the advice," I laughed, rolling my eyes at the clichéd expression as I

finished off my beer. Emmett chuckled beside me before doing the same with his.

We each polished off two more beers before Rose and Tanya made their way off

the dance floor. They were both parched, so Emmett took them to the bar to get
something to drink while I stayed behind to save our booth. Several minutes later,
the troops returned, just as a new song began to play.

"Holy Mother, that's some bass," Emmett commented over the loud noise. It was

true. Whether it had been intentional or not, the bass was definitely amped up on
the music that was playing. The song was an oldie by New Order, Bizarre Love
Triangle, which already had a distinctly rhythmic bass line. The additional bass
made the club vibrate. I could literally feel the floors shaking beneath my feet.

Wondering what exactly was going on I turned my head in the direction of the DJ

booth. And when I saw him standing there, I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was him… Bella's friend.

The fucking giant was a DJ at Technique.

- 52 -

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 53 -

Clocks

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Thanks to azure0610 for acting as my spectacular beta and to aerobee82,

JenEsme and b4bystar for pre-reading this little story for me. The lovely Nayarit
from ADF created my beautiful banner!

You guys are the best!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 6 – Clocks

I couldn't believe it. What were the chances? I hadn't seen this guy in close to a

month. I was almost beginning to think I imagined him, but there he was, in the
flesh, standing behind the DJ booth at Technique. His presence there was definitely
unexpected, but in that moment, I could only think of one thing.

Bella.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was here and that her friend, the

- 54 -

giant, was going heavy on the bass for her.

I read about this - that deaf people, even those that were profoundly deaf, were

able to experience music through vibrations. This must be the reason why the bass
had suddenly been turned up. Bella was here on the dance floor, and I had to find
her.

I jumped up from the table, nearly knocking over my beer in the process. Rosalie

righted it with her left hand before shooting me a what the fuck is going on kind of
look. I offered a rushed apology, unwilling to take the time to explain, before
disappearing onto the dance floor. Once there, I was surrounded by a mass of
writhing, sweaty bodies. I looked to the left and noticed that the brunette who hit on
me earlier was now grinding her ass into some poor guy's groin. Thankfully, she
didn't give me a second look as I pushed past her. Looking to the right, I saw more
of the same. Men and women everywhere, their bodies moving seductively against
one another as the music played on.

The irony of the music that was playing didn't fail to escape me. This could very

well turn out to be a Bizarre Love Triangle after all. These past few weeks, I had
grown complacent, telling myself that if Bella were involved with anyone else, i.e.
the giant, she wouldn't be spending so much time with me. But the truth was, I knew
very little about Bella's life. For all I knew, she really was dating him. Not only was
she dating him, but she had accompanied him to Technique tonight, and as DJ, he
was playing music especially for her. The thought drove me fucking insane. Without
thinking, I shoved my hands into my hair, pulling at it with nearly as much force as I
was using to push through the crowd.

I had to find her. I had to fucking find her. It was all I could think about, yet as I

frantically searched the dance floor, she was nowhere to be found. Every direction I
turned in, every face I scanned… she wasn't there. It didn't help matters that the
music was playing so loudly, and the damn bass was droning in my ears. I was
seriously beginning to think I might be trapped in some highly fucked up dream
when the music stopped playing. The song was over and there was a temporary
break between tracks, but that never happens…one song just flows directly into the
next.

My head jerked up, looking in the direction of the DJ booth, and I was just in time

to catch it. The giant was signing, and to everybody else on the dance floor, he was
probably just playing around with his hands. But I knew better. He was talking to
Bella. I had no idea what he was saying, but I didn't fucking care. All I cared about
was finding her, and he had unknowingly just showed me how. Following his line of
sight to several yards from where I stood, I saw her.

- 55 -

Bella.

She stood there, in the middle of the dance floor, her hair a wild mess and her

skin damp with perspiration, and all I could think was that she looked fucking
gorgeous. I was vaguely aware of my cock taking notice of this fact too, but I didn't
care. In that moment, all I cared about was dancing with Bella. I wanted to move my
body in sync with hers and feel her rub against me. I wanted her to feel what she did
to me.

Yeah… part of that was probably the alcohol thinking, but I wasn't that far gone. I

wasn't even close to drunk - just a little buzzed, and well aware of what I was about
to do.

I had taken several steps in Bella's direction when the music started up again.

Clocks by Coldplay. It was an interesting choice, I thought, as I continued forward

on my path. My eyes never left Bella, and I was turning over my options for how to
get her attention when I stopped short in my tracks. Hundreds moved around me,
but it was the movement of one that entirely transfixed me. And as desperate as I
was to get to her, I couldn't help but to stop and stare. Bella was moving… her body
swaying and her arms snaking up into the air as she danced in time with the music.
The beat - she felt the driving beat, the reverberations traveling throughout her
body and allowing her to feel the music. She danced like everyone else around her,
no different from anyone on the dance floor.

She was uninhibited… she was free. And it was fucking beautiful.

Bella threw her head back, and I thought I might fucking lose it when her hands

wove into her hair. Her body turned slightly, allowing me to see her face, but still, I
didn't move. My motionlessness wasn't entirely welcomed on the dance floor.
Several people pushed into me, aggravated by my lack of movement, but I didn't
care. They didn't understand what stood before me. Bella was stunning, her eyes
shut tight as she allowed the vibrations from the music to surround her. I noticed
she'd applied make-up, a smoky grey shadow to her eyes. And with the way the
lights from the club played on her skin, she appeared almost ethereal. But she was
real, and she was here, right in front of me. Almost as if her sixth sense had kicked
in, alerting her to my presence, Bella's eyes slowly opened. Then she turned her
head, and her eyes met mine.

If Bella was surprised to see me, it didn't show. She smiled at me, a grin she didn't

even try to contain quickly spreading across her face. I smiled back, and when she
held her hand out to me, I wouldn't have been able to walk away from her even if I

- 56 -

tried. I moved forward, my breath hitching in my throat as Bella pulled me behind
her. My hands automatically slid to her waist, holding her close as we began to sway
together in time with the music. Again... I wondered if I was dreaming. Only this
time, it wasn't a nightmare. It was the best fucking dream I ever had. I couldn't
believe I was standing there with my hands on Bella's hips, dancing with her in the
middle of a club.

Bella's hands moved to mine where she threaded our fingers together before

reaching out and wrapping our conjoined arms around her waist. I was hugging her
now, and she was tugging me closer. I was fucking elated, and I wanted so
desperately to move closer to her, but I didn't want to scare her off. I was fucking
hard, and while moments before I had imagined myself grinding against her, now it
didn't seem like a very good idea. Bella and I were close. Physically speaking, we
were closer than we had ever been, and I didn't know what was going on, but I did
not want to ruin it by pressing my cock against her – even if it would feel fucking
amazing. So instead, I moved as close as I could get without pulling her directly
against me. Bella seemed satisfied, once again losing herself in the music.

As the music played on, Bella and I danced together, our bodies never losing

contact with each other. I had to give her credit - for someone who couldn't hear,
she had fantastic fucking rhythm. Clocks wasn't necessarily the easiest song to
dance to, but she danced to it anyway, and she was so incredibly sexy that I couldn't
help but to run my hand up her side to her shoulder and gently pull her hair from
her face. It was damp with perspiration, and she tilted her head to the side, seeming
to welcome the relief of the cool air as it hit her neck.

Knowing it could be a big mistake but willing to take the risk, I lowered my head

to her neck, burying my face there as we continued to dance. Bella stiffened a little
bit at our new, more intimate position, but she didn't pull away, and it took every
ounce of strength I could muster not to turn my head and kiss her.

God, I had never wanted to kiss a girl so badly before. My entire body was literally

vibrating with need and desire. I could almost taste the perspiration on her skin, and
the thought of her body, hot and sexy and moving in tandem with mine, was nearly
my undoing. My hips moved forward of their own volition, seeking relief from the
mounting pressure. If I didn't do something now, I was going to embarrass myself on
the dance floor. Thankfully, the song was coming to an end, and as much as it was
going to kill me to step away from her, I didn't have much of a choice. I needed to
get back to the booth where I could sit and calm the fuck down.

The music drew to a close. This time, there was no transition time and Clocks

flowed freely into the latest Lady Gaga release. It didn't seem as if Bella intended to

- 57 -

stop dancing, and when I stopped moving and took gentle hold of her wrist, she
turned around for the first time that night, looking straight into my eyes. She lay her
free hand in front of her, palm up, waving it back and forth.

*What?*

Thankfully, I knew enough sign language by now to know what she asked and to

tell her what I wanted.

I need to sit down and get something to drink.

Bella nodded in understanding, but instead of following me back to the booth, she

grabbed my hand and pulled me in the opposite direction. I felt ridiculously happy
that she was holding my hand, even though I suspected it was just to help navigate
us through the crowds. Then I noticed where we were headed, and I saw a pair of
coal black eyes fixing us both with a steely gaze. I had been so caught up in dancing
with Bella that I completely forgot about him. The fucking giant, who now looked as
if he might leap from behind the DJ stand and rip my head off my shoulders.

Bella came to a stop several feet before the stand and immediately dropped my

hand. I didn't like it, but I knew she needed her hands to speak. Her back was
turned to me, but I could see them moving furiously through the air as she signed
something… I had no idea what… to her friend. He signed back, just as animated as
she was, before finally huffing and turning away from her. Bella bent down then and
reached behind a very large speaker, pulling out her backpack. She flung it over her
shoulders before standing up. Raising the pointer finger of her right hand, she
wagged it back and forth in front of her.

*Where?*

Feeling confident, I took Bella's hand in mine and led her off the dance floor. She

didn't protest, but when we reached the booth she immediately let it go, which kind
of disappointed me. I don't know what I was expecting, but I thought that maybe
after the dance we just shared, our relationship might be heading in a new direction.
Friends didn't normally dance like that with each other, did they? One look at the
dance floor… to all of the people grinding their bodies against one another, and my
hopes faded. Maybe friends did dance together like that after all.

Bella and I took a seat next to each other, and I absently wondered where Emmett

and the others disappeared to. In no time at all, Bella removed her iPad from her
backpack and was diligently typing away.

- 58 -

*What a pleasant surprise! I never would have thought I'd find you here!*

Bella slid the iPad in my direction, offering me what I now knew to be her shy

smile. I looked down at what she had written and couldn't help but snort.

"You're surprised to find me here?" I asked, looking her directly in the eye. I

noticed Bella squinting as I spoke, and she shook her head, motioning to the iPad. I
realized then that it must be difficult for her to read lips in low light.

You're surprised to find me here? I believe it's the other way around…

Bella looked over at me, a genuine smirk tugging at her lips as she read what I

wrote.

*Why is that? You think a deaf girl can't dance?*

I read Bella's response, suddenly worried that I might have offended her, but

when I looked in her direction, I saw that she was smiling brightly. She nudged my
side with her elbow, letting me know she was only teasing. Before I had a chance to
say anything more, Bella grabbed the iPad back.

*Actually, I'm really glad I ran into you tonight. I was feeling kind of bad

about the way we left things this afternoon.*

Bella pushed the iPad in my direction, and at first I was confused by what she

meant. I actually liked the way we'd left things today. I still remembered the way her
lips felt, pressed against my cheek…

I don't mind the way you left things… quite the contrary. ;)

I wasn't sure Bella would understand what I meant, but apparently she did

because even in the dim light of the club, I could see her cheeks flush red. It was
beautiful, and it was all because of me.

*Well, I didn't mind that so much either. I was referring to my reluctance

to discuss my family with you. I want you to know, I wasn't trying to shut you
out. But my family life is complicated, and I wouldn't have been able to tell
you about it in the few minutes we had left.*

Bella nudged the iPad in my direction, and I could tell from her shifting eyes that

she was nervous about what she wrote. I couldn't imagine why, but I understood
better when I read her words. I paused for a moment before responding. I didn't

- 59 -

want to push Bella into discussing things she might not be ready to. Then again, I
wanted her to know that I was open to listening, if and when she wanted to talk.
Rather than take the chance of ruining what was turning out to be a pretty fantastic
night, I decided to play it safe.

I understand. I'm not upset, but thank you for thinking of my feelings. I

want to know you Bella, but on your own terms. If and when you want to
discuss your family with me, I'm all ears. Otherwise, I won't push. Deal?

Bella read my response and a huge grin broke out across her face.

*Deal. Thank you, Edward. You really are a good friend.*

I read Bella's response, and I had to fight back the frown that threatened to take

up residence on my face at the mention of the word friend. Again, I found myself
wondering if friends really interacted with each other the way the two of us did.
There was some definite tension between us, and I'm not talking the hostile type. I
knew that I wanted to be more than just friends with Bella, and if my head wasn't
sure, my cock certainly was. I couldn't believe that Bella didn't feel the same – that
she was only interested in me as a friend. Friends didn't assign nicknames like
Green Eyes to each other. Friends didn't kiss each other on the cheek before saying
goodbye. Friends didn't twine their hands together while dancing, pulling each other
close. Still, unless I was ready to do something to better define our status, I had no
other choice but to accept her use of the word friend. I would accept it… for now.
But I didn't have to like it.

Rather than dwell any further on the status of my relationship with Bella, I

decided to use her comment as a lead in into my next question. If I had any intention
of taking my relationship with her to the next level, it had to be asked.

Speaking of friends, what's the deal with yours?

Bella read my question before turning curious eyes my way.

*Who*, she signed, before finger spelling a name. I had to ask her to slow down so

I could understand what she was saying. She signed his name again.

*J. A. C. O. B?*

I pointed in the direction of the DJ booth so that there could be no

misunderstanding. Bella nodded in response. So the giant had a name… Jacob. I
immediately grabbed the iPad.

- 60 -

Yes, Jacob. This is twice now he's looked at me like he wants to kill me.

What gives?

I heard Bella chuckle softly beside me, as if there was some sort of inside joke I

was missing. I looked at her, to see if I could read what she was thinking, but she
was busy typing her response. Not for the first time, I cursed my inability to sign. I
really fucking hated having these types of conversations using an iPad. I desperately
wanted to see her face.

*Jacob is a friend… a good friend with even better intentions, but

sometimes he oversteps his bounds. He looks out for me.*

I read what Bella wrote, but I had to admit to being dubious. Friends didn't

normally act so put off when another friend appeared on the scene.

So, he's just a friend?

Bella's mouth pulled up into a grin.

*Yes, Green Eyes. He's just a friend.*

As if to emphasize her point, Bella scooted a little closer by my side so that our

arms were almost touching. I really wanted to reach out and grab her hand, and
hold it as I'd been holding it before, but that would prevent us from communicating.
So instead, I asked my next question. It was really a ridiculous question, because I
already knew the answer to it. But I was hoping it might prompt Bella to elaborate
on her relationship with Jacob. She might consider Jacob a friend, but did he
consider her the same in return?

A friend who knows sign?

I was pretty sure I heard Bella sigh beside me, but thankfully, she indulged me by

answering my question.

*Yes, a friend who knows sign. His sister is deaf. He's studying deaf

education, too. Why so many questions?*

And with that, Bella gently nudged my ribs. I guess it was obvious I was starting

to brood, even though technically I had no right to. But I didn't like the fact that
Jacob could effortlessly communicate with Bella while I struggled just to say hello. I
especially didn't like the fact that Jacob appeared to be dead set against our
friendship. Fortunately, Bella didn't seem to be influenced by him. She was without

- 61 -

a doubt her own person, doing things her own way. I admired that about her.

I turned and smiled at Bella, and she smiled back. Suddenly we were caught up in

one of those surreal moments where everything around you ceases to exist. Her eyes
were all I could focus on. They'd gone from brilliant and happy one moment, to
determined and hungry the next. I swallowed hard, torn between the desire to kiss
Bella and the desire to take things slow. I was almost certain she'd kiss me back if I
made my move, but I sat frozen in my seat, paralyzed by what ifs.

What if I was misreading Bella's signals? What if she didn't want me as badly as I

wanted her? What if Jacob saw us kissing and flipped the fuck out? What if I kissed
Bella, and she didn't return the sentiment? Fuck… my mind was spinning, and why
was this so god damned difficult? I had never struggled with women like this before;
it was always so easy. But even as I asked myself the question, I already knew the
answer. It was because Bella was somehow different… she was different from all the
others. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to fuck things up.

Bella cocked her head to the side, seemingly amused by the expression on my

face. She read me so well, and in an instant, the moment was gone. Now, in place of
hunger and determination was a super shy smile. It seemed Bella was nearly as
indecisive as I was. She must have known I was thinking about kissing her, and she
didn't seem entirely put off by it. But she clearly wasn't ready, and I was glad I
hadn't pushed the envelope.

*Do you want to dance?* Bella signed, saving us both from what could have been

an awkward moment.

I nodded and was about to lead her onto the dance floor when Emmett suddenly

appeared by my side. He looked at me curiously before glancing in Bella's direction.
Bella signed to me then, and Emmett's eyes grew wide as saucers.

*Who?* she asked, obviously referring to Emmett.

I looked back up at him and saw that his face was now covered in a gigantic

smirk.

"Um, Emmett," I said, looking between him and Bella, "this is Bella." I turned to

Bella and slowly signed Emmett's name. She nodded and reached out her hand,
moving to shake Emmett's. He looked a little dazed as he took it, but when she
smiled that brilliant smile of hers, he couldn't help but to smile back.

"Hey," he said, and of course, Bella could understand that. She waved back at him

- 62 -

before placing her hand in her lap. Emmett stood there awkwardly for a moment
before announcing that Tanya wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. This
didn't surprise me. She and Rosalie had been drinking all night long. But it did
depress me. I came with Emmett, which meant if they left now I wouldn't have a way
home.

"Are you all right to drive?" I asked. I was a little worried about the amount of

alcohol we had consumed. I didn't like to take chances. "We could take a cab."

Emmett shook his head.

"Nah, I'm fine. I haven't had anything to drink for awhile now."

I turned to Bella then, who fixed me with inquisitive eyes.

*What?* she signed, having been unable to follow our conversation.

I felt badly she was left out, but there wasn't much I could do about that. I

grabbed her iPad to explain what was going on.

I have to go. My friend isn't feeling well and she wants to leave. We came

together as a group, so I don't have any other way home.

Bella hesitated for a moment, as if thinking something through, before typing her

response.

*Well, I could drive you home, if you'd like.*

I couldn't believe her words. Bella could drive? My eyes flew to hers, and she was

giggling at me, shaking her head as if amused by a small child. She knew exactly
what I was thinking.

*I may be deaf, Green Eyes, but last time I checked I still had full use of

my hands and feet. Now if I were blind… that would be entirely different. ;)*

Guys aren't really supposed to blush – it's definitely a girl thing. But I was pretty

sure I blushed in total embarrassment at her words. I was a complete and total idiot.
I looked up at Emmett who looked just as confused as Bella had before. Jesus, it was
complicated to simultaneously communicate with both a deaf and hearing person.

I explained to Emmett that Bella had offered to take me home. Like me, Emmett

raised a brow at the knowledge that she could drive, but I shot him a warning

- 63 -

glance. He shrugged then and said as long as I was okay with it he would see me at
home. I asked him to say goodnight to both Rose and Tanya for me, and to tell them
I would see them after the school break. He agreed, and with one last smirk and a
wave in Bella's direction, disappeared into the dark of the club. Looking back over at
Bella, I shook my head at myself.

I'm sorry. I feel like an idiot. That was a really stupid question.

Bella didn't appear to be offended, but still, I wanted to apologize. Thankfully, she

smiled at me, and her fingers came to rest briefly on my forearm as they so often did
when we talked,

*No need to apologize, Green Eyes. Didn't your mother ever tell you that

there's no such thing as a stupid question? Relax… you didn't upset me. I
know that I'm different. Few people understand what it means to be deaf. I
would rather answer questions than have people make wrong assumptions.*

Bella continually amazed me with her tolerant nature. I imagined there were a lot

of misconceptions about deaf people, and she was all too willing to dispel them. I
appreciated that. I appreciated that she didn't get irritated by my ignorance. But I
wondered if people really took the time to ask her questions… took the time to get to
know her. She had been alone every time that I saw her. She didn't seem to have
many friends.

Do people do that?

*What? Ask questions?*

I nodded my head and Bella shrugged.

*To be honest, not really. Most are uncomfortable with trying to

communicate with me so they don't bother. Those that do are curious for a
bit… kind of like a new toy, but they quickly lose interest.*

My suspicions were confirmed, and my heart fell at Bella's words. While she didn't

appear to be upset, it didn't change the fact that her words carried with them a
distinct undertone of sadness. I found this happening a lot in my conversations with
her. She would say things that caused me to pause and consider whether or not her
words held deeper meaning. Bella seemed to gloss over many things. She could be
very blasé at times, and I wondered if she really didn't care or if it was just easier
for her to act like she didn't. Then I wondered if she thought I was one of those that
would quickly lose interest - because I wasn't. She had to know that.

- 64 -

I won't lose interest, you know. If you were implying that I am one of those

people, I want you to know that I'm not.

Bella stared at the screen of her iPad for a very long time. I could tell she was

turning my words over in her head, trying to determine whether or not she could
trust me. I knew this because her brows were pensive and drawn. Then, out of
nowhere, she started to grin, and I peeked over her shoulder as she typed out her
response.

*Green Eyes, why are we sitting here having such a serious discussion

when we should be out on the dance floor, celebrating the end of the
semester?*

This wasn't quite the response I had been hoping for. I wanted to hear her say

that she trusted me and my intentions. But again… I didn't want to push. I playfully
nudged her, grinning right back.

Are you avoiding the topic of conversation?

*Maybe, maybe not. You've given me something to think about. But, if you

don't mind, could we maybe just leave it at that for now? Because I really
want to dance.*

Bella slid the iPad in my direction and turned to face me with her flattened hand

slowly circling the center of her chest.

*Please?* She fixed me with deep brown, puppy dog eyes, and I was fucking

helpless to say anything but yes.

So I grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor, and for the next

several hours I was able to hold her and touch her as if she were my very own. I only
hoped that one day in the very near future, she would be.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 65 -

Coming Clean

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82,

JenEsme and b4bystar for pre-reading. The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz
created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 7 – Coming Clean

I was fucking tired. It was 7 a.m. and I was sitting on a plane bound for Chicago.

I had barely made my flight. I awakened this morning to the sound of Emmett

pounding on my bedroom door…

"Edward, wake the fuck up! You're going to miss your flight! The cab driver's been

knocking on the door for twenty minutes!"

I was vaguely aware of Emmett's obnoxious voice intruding into my sleep, and I

was doing my best to ignore him. But then the meaning of his words registered in

- 66 -

my head, and I shot up out of bed. I immediately looked at the clock. It was nearly
five thirty in the morning. I should have been at the airport by now, but I obviously
overslept.

"Shit!" I swore as I stumbled out of bed, yanked open my door and rushed past

Emmett into the bathroom. I knew I didn't have time for a shower, but I needed to at
least take a minute to brush my teeth. My mouth tasted like stale beer and cheap
bar top peanuts.

"Dude, what time did you get in?" Emmett asked while stifling a yawn.

"Don't ask," I groaned through a mouth full of toothpaste. "Way later than I should

have." Emmett smirked at me as I spit into the sink and grabbed a bottle of
mouthwash from the medicine cabinet.

"So, Bella drove you home?" he asked, trying to appear casual, but I knew better.

He wanted the lowdown on what happened at the club. I nodded at him in the mirror
and nearly choked on my mouthwash when my face involuntarily pulled up into a
grin.

"And..." Emmett prompted, clearly annoyed by my lack of details, but I didn't have

time to sit around and chat with him right now.

"And I have a plane to catch," I reminded him as I splashed several handfuls of

water onto my face. I ran my hand over my chin, wishing I had the time to shave, but
I knew I'd miss my flight if I did.

"That's it? That's all your best friend gets?" Emmett asked, feigning hurt. He

clutched his heart as if he was mortally wounded and I smacked his shoulder in
response.

"For now, yes," I hastily replied as I headed back into my bedroom.

"Well, for the record, Bella's fucking hot," he commented as he followed behind

me, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Told you so," I said with a smirk as I glanced around my room for some clothes to

wear.

"Yeah man, I know you said she was gorgeous, but there's a big difference. That

girl emits some serious sexual energy."

- 67 -

"Watch it, Emmett," I warned as I stripped out of my jeans. I grabbed another pair

off the floor, hoping they were clean, before pulling a long sleeved t-shirt over my
head.

"I'm just saying, Edward, it was rolling off of her in waves."

"That's probably because I was about to kiss her."

"Did you?" Emmett was anxious to know.

"No."

"Well, why the hell not?" he demanded.

"Shit, I'm going to miss my flight," I said as I reached for my wallet and keys that

were lying on top of my dresser. Thank God I packed my bag the night before.
"Listen, can we talk about this when I come back?"

I flung my bag over my shoulder and headed out into the hall where I found my

Nikes lying by the front door, unceremoniously abandoned there several hours
earlier. Emmett had left the door ajar, and I could see the cab driver sitting in the
front seat of his tax waiting for me, with the meter no doubt running.

"Well that depends…" Emmett said as I slipped on my shoes and scrambled to

make it out the door.

I raised a brow at him.

"Oh yeah? On what?"

I was out the door and about to climb into the cab when Emmett finally answered

me.

"On whether or not you're going to quit being a pussy and let the girl know how

you feel!" he yelled after me with a laugh. I flicked him off from over my shoulder
before climbing into the cab.

"Tampa International?" The driver asked as he backed away from the apartment,

and I nodded my head in response. I rolled my window down then, waving goodbye
to Emmett as we pulled away.

"Merry Christmas, bro!"

- 68 -

"Merry Christmas, lover boy," Emmett yelled back with a smirk before heading

back into our apartment.

Amazingly enough, given the fickle weather and time of year, my plane actually

touched down at O'Hare on time, just after nine in the morning. I yawned, doing my
best not to knock the elderly lady sitting beside me in the head as I stretched. I
managed to sleep the entire plane ride from Tampa to Chicago, and I felt marginally
more rested than I did before. But that didn't help my stomach much. It growled
rather loudly, earning me a shocked look from my seat mate. I mumbled an apology
while gathering my backpack from underneath the seat in front of me, but she
merely turned her head in the opposite direction, obviously put off by my stomach's
protests.

After what felt like forever, waiting in line with a large group of generally

impatient people, I was finally able to deplane. As I suspected, O'Hare was a
complete and total nightmare. There were people everywhere, most of whom were
carting around arms full of luggage and beautifully wrapped presents. I felt a stab of
guilt at not having bought anything for my parents or Alice yet, but I hoped to rectify
at least the first part of my problem this morning. I could worry about Alice
tomorrow.

It came as no surprise to find Alice waiting for me, immediately outside security.

She shrieked when she saw me - running up to me, throwing her arms around my
neck and engulfing me in a huge hug. From the way she acted, you would have
never known she had seen me only weeks before. I hugged Alice back with just as
much gusto before setting her down on her feet.

"Hey, short stuff," I said, ruffling her hair and going out of my way to tease her

with a nickname I knew she detested. But it wasn't my fault she stood nearly a foot
shorter than I did. I was all but convinced she was adopted, and I would routinely
tell her so when we were kids just to get a rise out of her.

"Hey, you…" Alice gleefully started, then paused as her eyes skimmed over my

body, taking in my appearance. "Good Lord, Edward, you look like hell!"

I threw my head back in laughter while flinging my arm around my sister's

shoulder.

"Merry Christmas to you too."

"I'm serious," Alice chided beside me. "You look like you just rolled out of bed

after a good fuck," she said as we strolled along.

- 69 -

"Jesus, Alice," I hissed. "Would you keep your voice down? People can hear you," I

pointed out as I furtively glanced around. Thankfully, the people surrounding us all
appeared to be focused on finding their gates or high tailing it to baggage claim.
They weren't in the least bit interested in my conversation with Alice.

"Well, it's true," Alice defended.

"It's also true you lack discretion," I mumbled. "I swear you and Emmett are twins

separated at birth."

Alice wrinkled her nose at that comment.

"Please, don't offend me dear brother. Not when you've just stepped off the

plane," she teased.

"So let me get this straight. You have free rein to make whatever comments you'd

like about me, but I'm not allowed to do the same?" I tickled Alice's neck and she
giggled in response, swatting my hand away.

"Stop that! There's a difference and you know it. I'm merely pointing out an

established fact. You look like hell. What's up with that, anyway?" she asked as her
eyes once again scanned my body from head to toe. "Mom's going to have a fit."

"Do I really look that bad?" I wondered out loud. I mean, my clothes were a little

bit wrinkled, but I had worn much worse.

"Edward… your hair's a mess, you haven't shaved, your eyes are bloodshot and

your clothes look and smell like you slept in them."

"Hey, I take great offense to that," I teased. "I actually picked up these clothes off

of my bedroom floor this morning. Believe me, they were a much better alternative
to what I wore last night."

"Ugh… gross… just gross," Alice said while trying to pull away from me. "What is

it with men and wearing whatever they find on the floor, anyway? I swear Jasper did
the same thing before he started dating me. Thank God, I was able to put a stop to
that."

I laughed out loud as we headed towards baggage claim, hugging my sister closer

to me and refusing to let her go.

"I've missed you short stuff."

- 70 -

"I've missed you too, Edward."

A little while later, Alice and I sat in a no-name diner in the middle of downtown

Chicago where I stuffed myself full of pancakes. I was on my third cup of coffee and
actually beginning to feel halfway human again when Alice started in with the
questions.

"So, are you going to tell me what you were doing last night?" she asked, all the

while enjoying her own breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon. She stared at me
expectantly, and I knew there would be no way to postpone this conversation. Not
that I wanted to, but I hadn't expected to have it in a diner in downtown Chicago,
either.

"What makes you think I was doing anything interesting?" I volleyed back,

wanting to tease her a bit before telling her about Bella, but Alice only rolled her
eyes.

"You were with another girl, weren't you?" she laughed. This was nothing new to

Alice. She knew my take on dating. She knew I enjoyed messing around but that I
wasn't interested in anything serious. Until now that is…

"Well, I was with a girl," I said, making sure to set the record straight. Bella

wasn't just another girl. Alice immediately caught on to what I said and her fork
stopped mid-air as she stared at me in stunned disbelief.

"What are… are you… Edward Cullen, have you been holding out on me?" she

accused while pointing her fork in my direction. She feigned irritation, but the wide
grin that spread across her face told me she was anything but mad.

"Well, not exactly,"' I replied. I knew I was being cryptic, but I wasn't quite sure

how to explain what was going on between Bella and me. I really didn't know, and
after last night, I was more confused than ever.

"What exactly does 'not exactly' mean," Alice pushed and I chuckled at her

tenacity. She wouldn't rest until she pulled every bit of information that she could
from me. I pushed my few remaining pieces of pancake around in the syrup before
popping them into my mouth. I took my time, chewing slowly before washing them
down with a swig of juice. I was driving Alice crazy, I knew. I was surprised she
didn't leap across the table and beat the answer out of me.

"I guess it means that I've met someone I'm interested in, in more than a casual

way," I finally said, choosing my words carefully. "But we're just friends," I quickly

- 71 -

added. "So technically, I haven't been withholding anything."

Alice raised a dubious brow at that, but for now she seemed willing to let my

silence on the subject slide. As long as I was willing to share details, that is. And I
did. I told her all about Bella. I told her how we met when I accidentally startled her
outside the Communication Sciences and Disorders building, and how from that
moment forward, Bella and I met before her class three times a week. I told her how
we laughed and joked around and how we enjoyed talking to each other. I told her
how easy it was to be with Bella, and how she was the first girl I had ever really
been interested in getting to know on a personal level. Alice beamed at me in
response, clearly pleased that her older brother was finally taking an interest in
more than a passing fuck.

"There's something else," I casually mentioned as I pushed my plate aside. I

reached for my coffee, taking a small sip from the recently refilled cup.

"Oh?" Alice replied. She was shamelessly munching on a piece of bacon, which

made me smile. Alice has loved bacon ever since we were small children. We had to
watch her on Saturday mornings when mom would make a full breakfast of
pancakes, bacon and eggs. If left unguarded, Alice would eat an entire pound of
bacon by herself.

I cleared my throat before continuing.

"What would you say if I told you Bella was disabled?"

I watched as Alice's eyes opened wide in surprise, and she slowly lowered her

piece of bacon to her plate. She didn't immediately respond, and I knew she was
searching for the right words to say.

"I'd say that was… unexpected," she finally said. "What's wrong with her?" she

asked before cringing at her choice of words. "Jesus, I'm sorry," she hastily
apologized. "I didn't mean it that way."

I chuckled softly at Alice's behavior. My sister didn't have a mean bone in her

body, and I knew she hadn't meant anything by what she said. Still, it was fun to
watch her flounder a bit.

"Bella's deaf," I eventually explained, and Alice's brows furrowed in confusion.

"She's deaf? But how… how on earth do you communicate with each other?"

- 72 -

"I've learned a few signs," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. "But mostly we

communicate by iPad."

Alice sat very still and quiet for a moment, absorbing what I said before speaking

again.

"Wow, Edward. I'm kind of speechless."

"You know, she's really no different from you and me," I pointed out, but Alice just

waved me off.

"I wasn't referring to the fact that she's deaf," Alice said. "I was referring to your

comment about learning a few signs. I have to say, I've never seen you make that
type of effort in a relationship. She must really mean something to you."

I lowered my coffee cup to the table before looking Alice straight in the eye.

"She does," I admitted without hesitation. "She's important."

"How important?" Alice wondered, but I didn't really have an answer for that. Not

yet, anyway.

I spent the next twenty minutes or so filling Alice in on everything, including

describing all of my interactions with Bella since we met, right down to the very last
detail. I figured it might be better to have a woman's perspective on this situation
rather than a man's. Not that I didn't respect Emmett's opinion, but I wasn't sure his
last words of advice this morning were necessarily my best course of action. I wasn't
sure I was ready to tell Bella how I felt. More importantly, I wasn't sure she was
ready to hear it.

Alice agreed that this situation required more thought than a traditional

relationship might. For starters, if I wanted to date Bella, Alice suggested I should
make a commitment to learn sign language. I would have to adapt to Bella's world
and not the other way around. Alice asked if I had plans to enroll in a sign language
course, and until she mentioned it, I really hadn't. But her suggestion got my wheels
turning, and before I knew it, I was formulating a plan.

Talking to Alice was helpful, and I was glad to finally be able to openly share

information about Bella with someone other than Emmett. Alice was supportive of
my interest in Bella, but she also worried about the difficulties the two of us would
face as a deaf/hearing couple. For example, how would we handle situations where
we were together in a group environment? None of my friends knew sign language,

- 73 -

and I was just learning myself, so it would probably be awkward for us to spend time
with each other's friends. Alice also wondered whether or not I would be bothered
by the fact that Bella would never be able to share my love of music. Alice knew how
important music was to me – I had played the piano for practically my entire life.
Would I be okay dating a girl who could never hear me play?

At the end of the day, all these things seemed unimportant to me in the whole

scheme of things. And I didn't want to doom a relationship before I had even given it
a chance. Besides, Bella and I weren't even dating yet, so all of this was just
hypothetical. But the truth of the matter was I didn't want it to be only hypothetical.
I wanted my relationship with Bella to be real, so from this point forward, I had to
figure out a way to make that happen.

After breakfast, Alice and I spent several hours shopping for presents for mom

and dad. Thankfully, it would just be the four of us this Christmas, so there was no
need to shop for anyone else. We settled on a charm bracelet with each of our
birthstones and some drafting supplies for mom, and a new leather briefcase and
subscriptions to some medical journals for dad. We were also going to present them
with a weekend stay at a little bed and breakfast in Vermont that they both loved.

Later that afternoon, Alice and I were on our way home when mom called, asking

us to stop by BJs to get a couple of bottles of wine and some appetizers for
Christmas dinner. I grumbled a little, really wanting to just go home and take a
damn shower, but I knew tomorrow would be hectic, so it was better to take care of
these types of errands today. When we arrived at BJs, it was, of course, packed to
the hilt. There were people everywhere, and the aisles were quickly being picked
clean. I wasn't one for warehouse shopping, and I wouldn't have been much help to
Alice anyway, so I hung back by the book section while she set about collecting
mom's list of items.

There wasn't much I was interested in as I browsed the tables full of books. I did

pick up a Biography of FDR for my father and a coffee table book of Chicago sky
rises for my mother, but other than that, nothing caught my attention. I didn't have
much time for pleasure reading, anyway. Not with my schedule. I was just about to
try and find Alice when something caught my eye. It was a box set of DVDs sitting
on a clearance table adjacent to the books. It was the picture on the front that
caught my attention – a small child signing the word "thank you". I moved a little
closer and picked the box set up.

Baby Signing Times

At first I felt a little ridiculous. These DVDs were obviously meant for young

- 74 -

children. But upon closer examination, they seemed like they could be beneficial t o
me as well. I turned the set of DVDs over in my hands and was surprised to find they
had been marked down to $19.99. That wasn't so bad, I reasoned, and it might give
me a head start on learning some more signs. I was standing there, debating
whether or not I should purchase the set when Alice walked up beside me. Without
even coming to a stop, she plucked the DVDs from my hand and deposited them into
the cart.

"Perfect place to start," she said with a wink, and with that it sort of felt like my

plan was officially set into motion. One way or another, I was going to learn sign
language.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 75 -

Rules of Engagement

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me. (A BIG Happy Birthday hug to JenEsme who is
celebrating her birthday this week!)

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me. Links

are on my profile.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 8 – Rules of Engagement

I scrubbed my hand through my hair, wincing when my fingers caught in the back

of my head. I went to bed with a wet head, only to awaken several hours later to a
tangled mess. I glanced in the mirror and my mother was right… I really did need a
haircut. That was the first thing she had said to me after wrapping me up in a huge
hug earlier today. That and I needed to shave. I chuckled softly to myself. Some
things never changed, and my mother was one of them. Even though I was 22, she
continued to worry over me like I was a child.

- 76 -

I didn't really mind. I would probably always allow my mother her stolen hugs and

kisses. I didn't even mind her passing her hand through my hair, trying in vain to
bring some order to it. That was what mothers did, and as far as mothers went, mine
was damn near the best. I loved and respected both of my parents, but I had always
had a special relationship with my mother. I was eager to discuss Bella with her, but
I hadn't found the proper moment yet.

Alice and I didn't arrive home until late in the afternoon. After pulling me into the

house and hugging me hello, my mother immediately set me to work rolling out
gingerbread dough in the kitchen. Meanwhile, she and Alice worked on cutting the
cookies into various Christmas shapes before baking them in the oven. While we
worked, we spent time catching up. Alice was right… when I was home over
Thanksgiving, I barely left my room. I had hardly seen my family at all. It was nice
now to be able to sit back and relax and casually chat about what was going on in
our lives. I considered mentioning Bella as we turned out batch after batch of
cookies, but I decided I wanted to wait until my mother and I were alone. I didn't
want to distract her from the task at hand. God forbid we burned the Christmas
cookies. That would be an absolute tragedy.

My father arrived home from his office a little after six. He had traded long days

and even longer nights as Chief of Staff at Northwestern Memorial to open up a
private practice several years ago. He never looked back. Both he and my mother
preferred the lighter work schedule, and it meant that barring any emergencies, he
would have plenty of time to spend with us over the holidays. My father brought
home pizza, and after placing the last batch of cookies on the cooling rack, the four
of us sat around the kitchen table and enjoyed a meal of pizza and salad. It was nice.
It was really nice, actually. I enjoyed spending time with my family, but I was
distracted. My thoughts kept wandering to Bella… to what she might be doing. If her
flight was on time, she was probably in Washington now, doing the same as me…
catching up with family and enjoying being home for the holidays. And I couldn't
help but wonder if she was thinking of me too.

After dinner, I finally managed to take a shower. Afterwards, I collapsed into bed.

I slept until a little after eleven, and ever since then I had been hanging out in my
room. I went downstairs to see if anybody was still awake, but the house was still
and quiet, so I grabbed a plate of cookies from the kitchen before heading back up
to my room. And there I sat, in an old pair of sweats and a University of South
Florida sweatshirt, feeling bored and restless until my eyes fell upon the set of DVDs
I had purchased from BJs earlier in the day. Alice must have brought them up while I
was baking cookies with mom, I thought to myself. Not having anything better to do,
I decided to break open the set and watch the first DVD in the series.

- 77 -

No sooner had I placed the DVD in the player than I heard a soft rap at my door.

"Come in," I called while finishing off my last cookie. Alice toed the door open with

her right foot before slipping inside. I wrinkled my nose as the most delicious smell
wafted through the air and it was then that I noticed Alice was carrying two bowls.

"That isn't what I think it is, is it?" I asked, hopeful that indeed it was.

"It most certainly is," she declared while plopping down on the bed beside me.

"Kraft macaroni and cheese – a staple of college students the world over," she
announced with a giggle.

"Well, I don't know about the world," I teased while eagerly grabbing a bowl. "But

definitely the United States."

"What is it about this stuff that's so addictive, anyway?" she wondered as she

tucked into the creamy dish.

"I don't know," I said through a mouthful of food. "But I'm fucking hungry, and

this is totally hitting the spot. Have I told you lately how awesome you are?"

Being the lady that she is, Alice waited until she finished chewing before

answering me.

"You haven't and you're welcome," she said while nudging her shoulder against

mine.

"So, where were you, anyway? I thought you were in bed asleep?" I asked

in-between bites.

Alice shrugged in response.

"I went over to Lauren's for a couple of hours. You were asleep, and with Jasper in

Texas for Christmas, I needed something to fill my time."

"You miss him, huh?" I said, though it was really a statement of fact as opposed to

a question. I knew Alice missed Jasper. They had practically been attached at the hip
since they started dating their senior year in high school. Of course, I never
understood their attachment to each other, even going so far as to roll my eyes at
their frequent displays of affection. I never had anyone in my life that I felt that
strongly about, so it was hard for me to relate. But I understood a little better now.
Alice nodded quietly before turning her full attention on me.

- 78 -

"You miss her too, don't you?" she softly inquired. I shrugged my shoulders, trying

to play it off as if it wasn't a big deal, but my sister knew me too well.

"Liar," she said while punching me lightly in the shoulder.

"Guilty as charged," I finally admitted.

"That's sweet," Alice said with a sappy grin plastered across her face, and I rolled

my eyes.

"It's kind of pathetic," I replied. "I'm pining after a woman that isn't even mine."

"But she will be," Alice assured me with a motherly pat on my shoulder. "I mean,

how will she be able to resist you? You're learning sign language for her," Alice said
before going all misty-eyed on me.

"Are you… oh shit, don't pull that crap with me. Why in the hell are you crying?" I

half laughed, half asked. I stared at Alice, thoroughly amused. Female emotions
never ceased to amaze me.

"They're happy tears, you moron," she said while wiping the moisture from her

eyes. "I just never thought I'd see the day you'd make this type of effort…"

"Oh Christ, shoot me now. I'm going to be trapped with a hopeless romantic all of

Christmas break," I laughed. Alice stood from where she was sitting, twisting my ear
before setting her empty bowl on my end table.

"Ow! That fucking hurt," I squeaked like a pussy, but Alice just smiled down at me.

"That's right, big brother. You are, and you'd better be thankful for it. I can tell

you a thing or two about love. Admit it, you're kinda out of your league here," she
said with a teasing smile.

"I suppose I am," I sighed. "So what would you suggest I do?"

"Well, for starters, watch these videos," Alice said while motioning to the set on

my desk.

"Actually, funny you mention it. I was about to do that when you walked in."

I powered the TV on and a picture of a small toddler signing a word I didn't

recognize appeared on screen.

- 79 -

"Mind if I join you?" Alice asked. She took a seat on the floor in front of the TV,

and I knew there'd be no denying her. Not that I minded; it might be fun to have a
partner in crime. It would be just like old times. I sat down next to Alice and pressed
play on the remote, and we both watched as multiple toddlers and a few brightly
colored pictures passed across the screen. In the course of ten minutes, these
toddlers managed to sign a song and teach the audience three new words: animal,
house and cookie. I paused the video part way through, casting an anxious glance in
my sister's direction.

"This is kind of ridiculous, isn't it?" I asked, but Alice was busy practicing the sign

for cookie. When she was finished, she looked over at me.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, maybe I should have purchased a different set. One meant for adults," I

offered.

"Nah," Alice waved me off. "This is perfect. It goes at just the right pace. I actually

remember everything we've learned so far."

"You mean all three signs in total?" I teased.

"But that's the point, isn't it? Taking it slow and giving it time to settle in before

moving on to something else." Alice's words were spoken sagely, and I wondered if
we weren't talking about two completely different things.

"I guess," I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Besides, you're going to sign up for a sign language course next semester,

anyway, so this is just a brief overview of what's to come, right?"

Again, the subject of whether or not I was going to officially learn sign came up,

and again, it set my wheels turning.

"Right," I agreed with a nod of my head.

"So relax big brother," Alice said. "And let's have some fun with this."

It turns out that Alice and I did have a lot of fun. We made it through three videos,

practicing many different signs with each other before finally calling it a night. It
was well after 3 a.m. when we finally went to bed, but it was worth it. It felt good to
share this with Alice. She was embracing sign language almost as enthusiastically as

- 80 -

I was, and I had high hopes that at some point in the future she would meet Bella,
and Bella would be impressed with the effort Alice put into learning to communicate
with her.

The following day went by in a mad rush. It was Christmas Eve, and I spent most

of the day running around town with my father, picking up last minute items for
Christmas dinner and selecting a present for Alice. I decided on a Dooney and
Bourke purse she had eyed while out shopping yesterday afternoon, but I knew she
would never buy for herself. It was a little on the expensive side, but I wanted to do
something extra nice for her. She had been so kind and supportive of me,
encouraging me in my relationship with Bella, and I wanted to show my thanks.

Upon arriving home, I wrapped Alice's present before seeking out my mother in

her study. We still had a few hours left before Christmas Eve service, and I figured
this was as good a time as any to tell her about Bella. I found her sitting at her desk,
poring over yet another set of plans for a home in Roscoe Village she was currently
working to renovate.

"Hey, sweetheart," she greeted me as I poked my head in the door. My mother

was dressed casually in a dark blue track suit, with her trademark pencils resting
behind either ear.

"Is this a bad time?" I asked, not wanting to interrupt her, but she waved me off.

"Of course not. I'm never too busy to talk to my favorite son."

"Mom," I rolled my eyes at the hackneyed line. "I'm your only son," I replied,

playing along. She loved it when I did.

"That you are," she agreed with a wide smile. "But even if you weren't, you'd still

be my favorite," she said with a wink.

I chuckled softly at my mother. She could be completely ridiculous when she

wanted, but on the other hand, when the situation called for it, she could also be as
serious as need be. On a whole, my mother was actually a very wise person. I
willingly sought her out for advice over the years, and now was no exception.

I moved to sit in the comfortable leather chair adjacent to my mother's desk,

reaching out to grab a photograph of her and my father in the process. I noticed
they were young in the picture. My mother couldn't have been much older than
twenty, which meant she had probably just started dating my father. She met him
her freshman year at college, but they hadn't started dating until the beginning of

- 81 -

her junior year.

"Mom?" I asked, continuing to stare at the photograph as I called her name.

"What is it, honey?" She looked up at me and turned her head to the side, noticing

that I was examining her photo.

"Did you have any serious relationships before you met dad?"

My mother's interest was piqued by my question, and she put aside what she was

working on to give me her full attention.

"Why do you ask?"

I shrugged my shoulders, and she continued to look at me. It was unusual for us to

discuss relationships. I never really talked about the girls I dated, and other than my
prom dates, I had never brought a girl home to meet my parents. Not in an official
capacity, anyway. My mother knew something was going on, but she didn't know
what.

"Well," she continued thoughtfully. "There was a boy in high school that I dated

for a year, but I went away to college, and neither one of us felt inclined to carry on
a long distance relationship. I met your father soon after, and I knew once I met him
there would never be another man for me."

"You knew right away?" I asked, surprised.

"I suppose," she answered me, hesitantly at first before affirming her statement

with greater confidence. "Yes. There was always a part of me that knew he was the
one for me. The question was, was I the one for him? Your father was very busy with
school. He didn't really have time for a relationship. We were just friends at first,
but it slowly developed into more. I guess when it comes down to it I always knew
we'd eventually end up together. Why all the questions, dear?" My mother appeared
slightly bemused by our conversation, and I sighed, deciding to tell her everything.

"I've met someone, mom," I said, and just like Alice, my mother's eyes grew big

and round. A soft smile spread across her face then, and she reached out and
grabbed my hand.

"Oh Edward," she sighed. "I'm so happy for you."

"Guess you thought it would never happen, huh?" I ventured with a laugh, but she

- 82 -

vehemently shook her head.

"Oh no, I've always had faith you'd meet the right girl. You've just been distracted

by your studies, and rightfully so. You've carried a very heavy course load these last
several years. It's no wonder you didn't have time for a relationship."

"Yeah, well this one kind of took me by surprise. And we're not technically dating

yet, although I'd really like to ask her out."

"Oh?" my mother said. "From the way you talk, it sounds as if you're already

together."

I shook my head.

"No. Not yet. I only met her a month ago, right after Thanksgiving. Her name is

Bella, and we've spent the last several weeks getting to know each other. But it's
complicated," I explained, my voice trailing off.

"In what way?" my mother wondered while furrowing her brows.

"Bella's deaf, mom," I said, looking her straight in the eye as I delivered the news.

My mother was quiet, but if she was shocked, she didn't let it show. Instead, she
thoughtfully pursed her lips, her eyes never leaving mine as she took a moment to
consider what I said. Finally, she spoke.

"Why don't you tell me about her?" she said with a kind smile, and I breathed a

small sigh of relief. At least outwardly so, my mother didn't appear concerned about
Bella's deafness. I spent the next several minutes telling her all about Bella, and
when I was through she reached out and squeezed my hand.

"She sounds lovely," she said, and I knew her words were genuine. But I also

detected a hint of worry in her voice, and I wanted to know what that was about.

"She sounds lovely, but…" I prompted, and my mother offered me an apologetic

smile.

"I'm sorry, honey. You're a grown man, and I don't want to interfere. I really don't.

I just wonder how long you can sustain a relationship with someone you're not fully
able to communicate with."

"Well," I offered. "The iPad works better than you might think, and I'm actually

considering enrolling in a sign language course next semester."

- 83 -

At the mention of the sign language course, my mother's eyes opened wide once

again.

"Isn't your course load heavy enough?" she wondered. "And what about your

volunteer time at the hospital? How on earth will you find the time to manage it all?"

My mother's words weren't delivered harshly; they were delivered in genuine

concern. She knew how stressful school was for me, and how I hardly had any time
to spare. I think my entire family thought that was why I never dated anyone
seriously… I just didn't have the time. But while that was part of it, the greater,
more important part was that I hadn't met anyone I cared enough about to make an
effort with… until Bella.

"I'll find a way," I said, but my mother still appeared uncertain.

"Edward, you've worked hard to get to where you're at. You've always had your

priorities straight, and because of that, you'll be graduating with honors with a
double degree and heading off to med school in the fall. I just… I don't want to see
you jeopardize everything you've worked so hard to achieve."

"Why would taking one extra course jeopardize everything I've worked for?" I

wondered aloud, feeling a bit put off by my mother's comment.

"Honey, learning a language takes a lot of time," my mother explained. "I know

you better than you think. You never do anything half-heartedly, and if you're honest
with yourself, you'll be hard pressed to disagree. You'll throw your entire self into
learning sign language as quickly as possible just to communicate with this girl."

"Bella," I huffed in annoyance. "Her name is Bella."

"I'm sorry," my mother said, shaking her head. "You'll throw your entire self into

learning another language just to communicate with Bella."

"It's my only option mom," I whispered quietly. "She'll never be able to speak or

hear. If I want to be with her, I have to be the one to make the effort. For what it's
worth, if the roles were reversed, I think maybe she'd do the same for me."

My mother was quiet for a moment before a soft smile started to play on her face.

"Of course she would," she said, and I could see she was trying to relieve the

palpable tension that had suddenly taken hold in the room. "You're a very special
boy."

- 84 -

"And she's a very special girl, mom…"

My mother nodded in response.

"I can see that. And please, I don't want you to think you have to defend Bella to

me. It's clear she's important to you, and because of that she's important to me. I
just want you to be careful, is all. I don't want you to lose sight of your goals. You
have one semester left in school, and now is not the time to become side-tracked."

Side-tracked? I thought to myself, annoyed with my mother's choice of words.

That was not how I viewed Bella…

"Trust me," I assured her. "Nobody understands my goals better than I do," I said,

sounding bitterer about it than I really felt, but I was starting to feel my frustration
with the direction this conversation had taken rise to the surface. "I've spent the last
four years working my ass off to get to where I'm at, mom. I know what I need to do
to stay on track, and I would never jeopardize that. I'm not going to drop out of
school or forgo pursuing a medical degree in order to devote every waking minute to
learning sign."

"Edward… I didn't…" My mother tried to interrupt me, her voice soft and

repentant, but at the risk of being disrespectful, I held up my hand to her and
continued speaking.

"No, mom. Let me finish. I know you didn't come right out and say that, but if feels

like that's what you're implying and quite frankly, it really bothers me. You should
know me well enough by now to know that I would never turn my back on
everything I've worked so hard to achieve. Yeah... learning sign will take a lot out of
me, but you know what? Some things are worth the effort… I think she's worth it."

My mother nodded slowly, her face shadowed over by regret. She knew that she

had upset me, and this was clearly not what she intended. Still, it didn't change the
fact that she didn't seem very supportive of my relationship with Bella, and this
made me sad. I had really hoped she would be.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to… I'm afraid I didn't express myself

very well," she said with a defeated sigh and a small shake of her head. "I was only
trying to say that there are times in our lives when we're forced to focus one
hundred percent of who we are on a specific task. I speak from experience, honey.
This was my life with your father when we first met. He was singularly focused on
his studies because he had no other choice. But eventually we decided we couldn't
be apart, and we found a way to make our relationship work, despite the demands of

- 85 -

school. We did it, and if this relationship with Bella is something you really want
then I'm sure you can do it too. But it will be challenging," she emphasized.

"I know it will," I agreed.

"That's all I'm trying to say, honey," my mother said, sounding relieved that I

understood her point of view. "It's just that I know firsthand how rigorous and
demanding medical school is. Your father barely had time to eat and sleep, let alone
give any part of himself to me. Add to that the difficulty of learning a new language,
not to mention adapting to the life of someone who is different from you, and well…
it's a lot to juggle, Edward. Even if you don't realize it now, it's a lot. You've always
shown good judgment, and I want you to know that I trust you to make the right
decision, but I wouldn't be a good parent if I didn't speak frankly with you about my
concerns. I just hope you're able to understand that."

"I do, mom," I said while moving to stand. I appreciated her efforts to smooth

things over, I really did, but I was starting to wonder if she really did trust me to
make the right decision or if she was just trying to placate me. Either way, I wasn't
really in the mood for talking anymore. This conversation hadn't gone exactly as I
had hoped, and now I was left wondering if maybe I was just fooling myself that I
had any hopes of making a relationship with Bella work. Because a relationship with
her would, no doubt, be a lot of work. My mother was right… learning another
language was time consuming, and I didn't have a lot of time to spare. Then again,
would there ever really be a right time for me to become involved with someone?
And how much less complicated would a relationship with a hearing girl really be?
These were questions I didn't have the answers to because I had never been in a
serious relationship before. But I did know one thing, getting to know Bella just felt
right, and that had to count for something.

"You know it's funny, mom," I said as I paused in the threshold of the door.

"Nothing about this situation is easy, but being around Bella… it's the easiest thing
there is. Kind of funny how things work out that way, isn't it?" My mother offered me
a small smile before I turned and walked away.

Several hours later, I stood outside the church, freezing my ass off in the middle

of a parking spot, saving it for my mother. I breathed into my hands in a futile
attempt to warm them against the cold night air, and even though it was probably
inappropriate given my current location, I found myself cursing my mother. I had no
idea where she was, but she had rushed out of the house earlier, barking orders at
the rest of us to meet her at church for the 8 o'clock service.

At 7:55 on the dot, my mother pulled into the lot. I moved aside so she could park

- 86 -

the car and we rushed inside the church, just as the service was about to begin.
Afterwards, we dropped my mother's car at home and drove around to look at
Christmas lights. By the time we made it back home it was after ten, and I shared a
glass of brandy with my father in front of the fireplace before heading up to bed. I
hadn't yet told him about Bella, but after my talk with my mother earlier in the day, I
didn't have much inclination to. Not that I wouldn't - I just needed some time to
think about what my mother had said.

As I lay in bed turning over my mother's words, Alice popped in and decided to

make herself at home beside me. She was dressed in a ridiculous pair of Christmas
pajamas covered in mistletoe, and I had no doubt she had purchased a matching set
for my mother. She used to force me to wear Christmas pajamas too, that was until I
turned fourteen. That year, my fuck hot next door neighbor stopped by on Christmas
morning to deliver fresh baked cinnamon rolls, only to find me standing in red, white
and green striped pajamas. Alice assured me they were masculine, but the look on
my neighbor's face told me otherwise. From that point forward, I refused to wear
Christmas pajamas.

"What's up, big brother?" she asked while staring up at my ceiling fan with me.

"Not much," I shrugged. "Just thinking about some things mom said earlier today."

Alice rolled on her side, propping herself up on her elbow and supporting her head
with her hand.

"Did you tell her about Bella?"

"Yeah… and it didn't exactly go over like I expected."

"What did she say?" Alice asked, suddenly concerned.

"I don't know… I guess she's concerned about the time commitment involved," I

explained.

"Time commitment?" Alice repeated, confused.

"Yeah. She's worried about the time it'll take me to learn sign language, on top of

all my classes. She doesn't want me to become too distracted."

"Well, she does have a point," Alice mused, and I sighed in resignation.

"You too?" I mumbled.

- 87 -

"Hey," she said softly while reaching out to touch my arm. "I'm not saying you

shouldn't ask Bella out. I'm just saying that I understand mom's concerns. But I'm
sure you'll find a way to make it work."

"That's what mom said too," I stated off-handedly, wondering if either one of them

really believed it to be true. Alice regarded me sympathetically and asked whether
or not I had talked to Bella since I left Tampa. I raised a brow at her question and
she punched me in the arm.

"You know what I mean. Have you texted her or sent her an e-mail or anything?

Maybe you'd feel better about things if you did."

"I don't even know if she has a phone," I admitted. I'd never really considered it.

"And I didn't think to ask for her e-mail," I added, sulking. I was a complete and total
fail at relationships.

"You're screwed," Alice said with a laugh, flopping onto her back. But she popped

back up again moments later, an irrepressible smile pulling at the corners of her
mouth. "What about university e-mail?" she excitedly asked.

"Huh?"

"University e-mail, Edward! You said she's a teacher. Wouldn't her e-mail be listed

on the university website?"

I sat up straight in bed. Alice was right. Moving quickly to my desk, I opened

Internet Explorer and navigated to the University of South Florida's website. I
clicked on the individual colleges tab before entering the Department of Behavioral
Sciences webpage. It took me a moment, but I was able to find a listing of all the
department teachers and the classes they taught. And there, at the bottom of the
page, listed under her last name was a picture of Isabella Swan. Beside her picture
was an e-mail address.

"Oh, Edward, she's beautiful." Alice was staring at my computer screen from over

my shoulder, and I couldn't help but smile. I honestly felt as if I had won the lottery.
Not only did I find Bella's e-mail address, I now had a picture of her as well.

"She is, isn't she?" I agreed, smiling up at Alice.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" she impatiently asked. "Click on the link and

send her an e-mail."

- 88 -

Suddenly I froze. Even though I was certain I wanted to talk to her, I wasn't sure it

was the right thing to do. Would she want to hear from me over Christmas break?
What if she didn't reply? There was a chance she didn't check university e-mail, but I
would never know if that was the case, and I would be left to brood, wondering if the
reason she didn't reply was because she didn't want to talk to me or because she
hadn't checked her e-mail.

"Edward!" Alice called my name before softly reprimanding me. "Would you get

out of your head and just send the damn e-mail?" she half laughed, half demanded.

"What if she doesn't want to hear from me?" I asked, feeling like a total pussy for

being so whipped by a girl. "I mean, what exactly are the rules of engagement for
this type of thing?"

"Rules of engagement?" Alice all but cried. "Edward, this isn't a fucking war. This

is just a girl, and you're just a boy… don't make this so complicated."

"Right, because it's already complicated enough as it is," I mumbled.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and send the e-mail. Trust me, there's no harm in

saying hello."

"No?" I asked, looking for assurance. I had no fucking idea why I was so nervous.

Then again, maybe I did. In the course of forty-eight hours, I had managed to
completely redefine my relationship with Bella without even consulting her about it.
I was getting way ahead of myself, and I knew it. I had to calm the fuck down. Alice
was right. Bella and I were friends. There was no reason whatsoever for me not to
drop her a line.

"Okay, I'm going to do it," I said, and before I could think anymore about it, I hit

send. I kept the message simple, telling her I just wanted to say hi and to give her
my e-mail address in case she wanted to chat over the break. I wasn't really
expecting an immediate response, but within ten minutes my g-mail account
registered a new message. I didn't recognize the address it came from,
thesoundofsilence gmail (dot) com, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it
could only belong to one person. I opened the message and smiled widely at the
words before me.

*Green Eyes, is that you?*

Endnotes:

- 89 -

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

Umm… so I think I told some of you that Bella came back this chapter. She kinda

does… but not in the manner in which I implied. I apologize. I got my chapters
mixed up. The good news is that next chapter starts out with the two of them
chatting with each other!

Rec: In Places No One Will Find by CarrieCee. This fic is absolutely amazing.

I've been searching for awhile for a fic that really makes me feel something, and this
story is it. The characters are richly developed, and the plot is tight and focused.
Not a word is wasted in this beautifully written coming of age story that has left me
laughing one moment and wiping my eyes the next. It's a stunning story.
Description: When a hazing prank goes wrong, troublemaker Edward is thrown
together with the unpopular daughter of the Police Chief. Bella Swan was the last
person Edward was likely to fall for. But Bella has a lot to teach Edward about
himself, love, life and loss.

- 90 -

Impasse

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 9 - Impasse

*Green Eyes, is that you?*

I grinned like an idiot at Bella's words. Even if I had wanted to, which I didn't, I

wouldn't have been able to contain my smile. Apparently it was contagious, because
I looked over my shoulder at Alice who was smiling just as widely as me.

"Green Eyes?" she asked, her smile quickly morphing into a smirk. "You failed to

mention she's given you a nickname."

- 91 -

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, are you going to respond?" Alice pressed. "Why don't you invite her to

chat?"

I did as Alice suggested, and a moment later, Bella's name popped up in the

bottom right hand corner of my screen.

11:05 PM:

Bella: Green Eyes! What a pleasant surprise! How are you?

Alice chuckled softly from over my shoulder, and I turned an evil eye on her.

"All right, all right, I can take a hint," she said with a wink. "You know where to

find me if you need me." Alice continued to laugh quietly to herself as she exited my
room. Turning my attention back to the computer screen, I briefly considered what I
wanted to say before typing out my response.

11:07 PM:

Me: I'm terrific now and grinning like a fool.

Bella: Lol… you're certainly in a good mood! (What has you grinning like a fool?)

Me: You. ;) I like your nickname for me.

Bella: Well, it's very apt. You have beautiful eyes.

11:09 PM:

Me: As do you.

11:10 PM:

Bella: Thank you, you're very sweet. But honestly, I've always thought they were

rather dull. Brown is kind of boring.

Me: Your eyes are anything but dull and boring. They're thoughtful and deep…

and so expressive. They're beautiful.

Bella: Green Eyes, you're making me blush.

- 92 -

Me: I think I like that…

Bella: :) Hey… hold on a sec…

11:17 PM:

Bella: Sorry about that. My mother was switching the hallway light on and off,

which is code for get down here right away!

Me: Uh oh, is everything okay?

Bella: Oh yes, she just wanted me to help put away the ornament boxes. We

finished decorating the tree a little while ago.

Me: You're just now decorating the tree?

Bella: It's sort of a tradition for us. Every Christmas Eve, my father and I go into

the woods and chop down a tree while my mother stays at home drinking too much
eggnog. You know… the spiked type.

11:20 PM:

Me: Ha… your mother and I would get along well!

Bella: I think you're probably right. ;)

Me: Maybe I'll have the pleasure of meeting her one day?

Bella: I'd like that.

Me: Me too.

Bella: So, I thought of you today…

11:22 PM:

Me: You did? Why is that?

Bella: Actually, to be honest, I've been thinking about you ever since I dropped

you off on Friday night…

11:23 PM:

- 93 -

Me: Really? Me too…

Bella: Edward? Can I ask you a question?

Me: Of course. You can ask me anything.

Bella: Are you interested in me?

11:25 PM:

Me: Umm…

Bella: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I'm too direct for my own good

sometimes.

Me: No – it's okay. Don't apologize. I just wasn't expecting it is all.

Bella: You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I didn't mean to put you on

the spot.

Me: You didn't… and yes, I'm interested in you. I had a really good time the other

night.

Bella: I did too.

Me: I'm glad. Can I tell you something?

Bella: Of course.

Me: I wanted to kiss you, but I was worried about how you would react.

Bella: I probably would have kissed you back… but I'm not sure it would have

been the right thing for me to do.

Me: Ahh… that's not exactly what I wanted to hear.

Bella: Ugh… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

Me: Why did you?

Bella: Because I'm confused. I really like you, Edward. I just wish things didn't

have to be so complicated.

- 94 -

Me: Complicated? How?

11:33 PM:

Bella: Do I have to point out the obvious?

11:34 PM:

Me: What? That we speak two different languages?

11:36 PM:

Bella: It's more than that, Edward, and you know it. Please don't pretend that my

deafness doesn't matter.

11:38 PM:

Me: I'm not pretending, Bella. It doesn't - at least not to me. Does it really matter

that much to you?

Bella: We have limited means of communication. You don't sign…

11:40 PM:

Me: I realize this poses a challenge, but Bella? I'm learning, and I want to

continue to learn.

Bella: Oh, Green Eyes, please don't take this the wrong way, but if I had a dollar

for every boy who's said that, I'd be a rich girl.

11:44 PM:

Me: I'm different than the others, Bella. You should know that by now. You're…

special to me.

11:45 PM:

Bella: I think that's what scares me the most. You're special to me too, but I'm not

sure it's enough. I know how difficult this type of relationship is. It hardly ever
works out…

Me: It doesn't have to be difficult, Bella. It's what we make of it, you and me.

- 95 -

Bella: I wish it was that easy.

11:47 PM:

Me: Isn't it? I like you, Bella. A lot. I think about you all the time. Why can't that

be enough?

11:51 PM:

Me: Bella?

Bella: Sorry… sorry. Just thinking.

Me: About what?

Bella: I wish I wouldn't have brought this up tonight. I wish I would have waited

until we're in Tampa. I want to see your face. I want you to see mine, so that you can
see how important your friendship is to me.

11:53 PM:

Me: Friendship, huh?

Bella: Edward, please. This isn't easy for me.

Me: It isn't easy for me either. I'm attracted to you Bella, in every way that

matters, and I think you feel the same.

11:55 PM:

Bella: It doesn't make a difference if I do. It doesn't change the situation.

Me: Why are you so resistant to this? I really don't understand.

Bella: I already told you. I know what it means to be in a deaf/hearing

relationship, and I don't want to risk losing what we already have. I'm sorry,
Edward, but as much as it costs me to say this, friendship is all I have to offer.

12:00 AM:

Me: For now…

- 96 -

Bella: For always, Green Eyes.

Me: We're at an impasse now, but…

12:02 AM:

Bella: Green Eyes?

Me: Yes?

Bella: Merry Christmas.

12:04 AM:

Me: Merry Christmas to you too, although technically Christmas won't arrive in

Washington for another couple of hours.

Bella: Well, I'll be tucked underneath my covers when it does, which is where you

should be too.

Me: Is this your way of saying goodbye?

Bella: Not because I want to, but I should really spend some time with my

parents.

Me: Okay.

Bella: Are… we okay?

Me: Yeah… yes.

Bella: Are you sure? You're not upset with me?

Me: No, I'm not upset with you. Disappointed, yes, but not upset.

12:10 AM:

Bella: So we're still friends?

Me: Of course we are, even though it's obvious we both want something more…

Bella: Edward…

- 97 -

Me: Bella…

Bella: You're incorrigible, you know that?

Me: I prefer tenacious.

Bella: Can we chat again tomorrow?

Me: I'd like that. Same time, same place?

Bella: Same time, same place.

Me: Okay. Have a good night, Bella.

Bella: You too. Sleep tight, Green Eyes.

The following morning, I awoke feeling much better than I expected. I was pretty

discouraged when I went to bed the night before, but a good night's sleep had lent
some clarity to my situation. Even though Bella insisted we could only be friends,
she had also admitted she had feelings for me, and that in and of itself was a victory.

As much as I wanted more, I could be Bella's friend, at least for now, because I

knew that she felt more, and it was only a matter of time before our relationship
evolved on its own. At least that's what I hoped for. Trying to think positively, I even
went so far as to tell myself that it was better our conversation had played out as it
had, because I was sure of one thing now. Although she would never willingly admit
to it, Bella needed someone to fight for her. She needed to feel like she was worth
the effort, and I was just the person for the job.

When I walked downstairs Christmas morning, I was greeted by the sound of Burl

Ives singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" on the stereo. A quick glance into the family
room told me that my father and Alice were already awake. I assumed my mother
was too, and I ventured into the kitchen in search of her. I found her, arranging a
plate full of cookies and fruit cake to carry into the family room.

"Merry Christmas, Mom," I said, bending to kiss her cheek. She looked up at me

and smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Honey. Did you sleep well?"

"I did, actually," I replied. "How about you?"

- 98 -

My mother sighed as she placed one final cookie in the center of the plate.

"I didn't sleep so well."

"Oh?"

My mother's eyes met mine, and I could see that they were troubled.

"I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday," she told me. "I think I focused too much on the

negative. I don't want you to think I'm not happy for you, Darling, because I am. All
a mother wants is for her child to find someone that makes them happy. If Bella's
that girl for you, it only makes sense for you to try to make things work."

"Thanks, mom," I said, surprised by, but grateful for her apology. I pulled her into

a side hug, telling her, "I needed to hear that."

"I needed to say it," she said, patting my stomach.

A few minutes later, we carried the plate of cookies and fruit cake into the family

room, only to be greeted by a loud round of applause. Both my father and Alice
practically attacked me, eager to get to the sugary goodness. Soon after, my father
donned a Santa hat and started distributing presents. There weren't nearly as many
as there were when we were children, so it didn't take as long to open them. Before
long, we'd run through the entire lot, and only a single present remained. It was for
me, and I looked on curiously as my father deposited the gift in my hands.

"This one's for you, from your mother and me," he said. "Although I have to admit,

I have no idea what's inside."

I looked at my mother questioningly, and she winked at me before leading my

father over to the couch where they sat down together side by side.

"Relax, Carlisle," I heard her whisper once they'd taken their seats. "He's going to

love it."

Thoroughly intrigued, I tugged at the gift wrap, only to find another layer of paper

underneath. Always the comedian, my mother had wrapped my present in not one,
not two, but six layers of wrapping paper. I was almost ready to throw the towel in
when a tiny logo appeared on the box. I knew that logo. It was the Apple logo. And
judging from the size of the box I was holding in my hand that could only mean one
thing. I ripped off the remaining paper with unrestrained gusto and gasped at the
gift in front of me.

- 99 -

"An iPad?" I exclaimed, completely taken aback. I wasn't expecting that. I looked

up at my mother, who was biting down gently on her lower lip, and then to Alice,
who looked as if she might cry.

My poor father looked thoroughly confused.

"An iPad, Esme?" he asked. "You thought he'd prefer an iPad over a Bose stereo?"

"Actually, yes," I said as I stood up from where I sat. I placed my new iPad on the

table beside me before walking over and pulling my father into a hug.

"Thanks, Dad," I said, releasing him and turning my attention to my mother.

"Mom, I…" I didn't really know what to say. I knew now, without a doubt, that she

supported my relationship with Bella. That was the most wonderful Christmas gift of
all. Of course, my father was still in the dark, and I knew I needed to tell him about
Bella as soon as possible, but first, I needed to properly thank my mother. Walking
over to where she sat on the couch, I pulled her up and into a big hug, whispering
my thanks into her ear.

"You're very welcome, Honey," she replied when she finally pulled away. "Now

you know why I was almost late to church. I had an important exchange to make,"
she said with a wink.

"Would someone please tell me what's going on?" my father asked from beside

me, and Alice, my mother and I all started laughing.

Later that evening, my father lay snoring on the couch, Alice was talking on the

phone, my mother was paging through a book, and I was sitting in the middle of my
most favorite chair in the entire house, playing with my new iPad. After receiving my
unexpected gift, I spent the next hour telling my father about Bella. He sat back and
listened patiently, waiting for me to finish before asking any questions. Surprisingly,
he didn't seem to have any reservations about her. He was curious about how we
communicated, but he was more concerned with my happiness than anything else. I
did take a moment to reiterate to both of my parents that despite my interest in
learning sign language, I wouldn't let it interfere with my grades. They both seemed
relieved to hear this, and l hoped that would put an end to any concern they might
have that I was biting off more than I could chew - because I wasn't. I felt certain of
that.

Glancing down at my watch now, I saw that it was still only half past seven. I

desperately wanted to talk to Bella, but we had agreed last night to chat at 11 CST.

- 100 -

That meant I still had four hours to kill. Not having anything better to do, I started
to map out my schedule for next semester. I had already registered for all my
classes, but I hadn't yet taken the time to work out the rest of my schedule. I would
have to find time for volunteering, piano practice and studying. Then there was the
sign language course I intended to take…

Figuring now was as good a time as any, I accessed the web on my iPad and

browsed the University of South Florida's class availability list. I already knew what
class I was interested in taking; I only hoped it was being offered. After a few
minutes of searching, I couldn't help the satisfied smirk that spread across my face
when I discovered that it was. Better yet, there was still space available. Not
wasting a moment's time, I began the online registration process, and within five
minutes, I was officially enrolled in Beginning Sign Language I. Quite satisfied with
myself, I set my iPad to the side. It had been a long and lazy day, and I figured I may
as well take a nap before signing onto g-chat with Bella. If nothing else, it would
help to pass the time.

I awoke several hours later to the tender touch of my mother's hand as she gently

shook my shoulder.

"Edward, Honey, wake up."

I grumbled a little, brushing her hand to the side in an effort to continue sleeping.

Then, suddenly, my eyes popped wide open.

"What time is it?" I asked in a panic as I sat straight up in the chair. My mother

stared down at me in amusement before informing me that it was nearly eleven. I
exhaled a small sigh of relief, thankful I hadn't slept through the night.

"You must have been tired," my mother noted. "You've been sleeping for hours. I

wasn't going to wake you, but I was afraid you'd get a kink in your neck."

I rubbed my hand along the back of my neck, kneading my fingers where it was

stiff.

"Yeah… thanks for thinking of that. Where is everybody, anyway?" I asked,

scrubbing my hands over my face.

"They're in bed already, Dear. It was a lazy day for us all. I'm heading that way

too. Is there anything I can get you before I go upstairs?"

I looked up at my mother and shook my head. She smiled down at me then and

- 101 -

bent to kiss my cheek.

"Goodnight, Honey," she murmured before heading towards the landing.

"Hey, Mom?" I called after her before she had a chance to make it very far. My

mother turned around and looked at me, and I thanked her again for the iPad. She
nodded at me, her warm, amber eyes looking through me as only a mother's could,
and then she was gone, upstairs, to join my father and sister in sleep. Not wanting to
be late for my chat with Bella, I made my way upstairs soon after, with yet another
serving of Christmas cookies in hand.

As soon as I powered on my laptop and navigated to g-mail, Bella's name popped

up. It gave me a small measure of satisfaction knowing that she had been the one to
initiate contact tonight.

11:03 PM:

Bella: Green Eyes? Are you around?

Me: Present and accounted for. How are you? How was your Christmas?

Bella: I'm great, and my Christmas was lovely. How was yours?

11:05 PM:

Me: Much better than I expected. You'll never guess what my parents got me.

Bella: What?

Me: That's no fun… you have to guess!

11:07 PM:

Bella: Um… new shoes?

Me: Too practical.

Bella: An electric toothbrush?

Me: Too boring.

11:09 PM:

- 102 -

Bella: Hmm… let's see… a golf club drink dispenser?

Me: Lol… what the hell is that?

Bella: I don't know. I saw it in the Sharper Image catalog on my flight out here. It

looked interesting.

Me: Too weird. Besides, I don't play golf.

Bella: Okay. I give up.

Me: Are you sure?

Bella: Yes. Tell me, please!

11:12 PM:

Me: All right, all right… I got an iPad!

Bella: Really? That's awesome! What a coincidence!

11:14 PM:

Me: Actually, not really. I told my family about you.

Bella: You did?

Me: Yeah. I hope that's okay.

Bella: Of course it's okay.

11:17 PM:

Me: My mother says you sound like a "lovely young lady".

Bella: That's kind of embarrassing.

Me: My sister can't wait to meet you, either. She's planning to visit over Spring

Break. If you'll be around, you can meet her then.

Bella: That would be really nice. And yes… I'll be around. That's the great thing

about living in Florida… the beach is right in your back yard. No need to leave the

- 103 -

state for Spring Break.

11:21 PM:

Me: I agree. So, did you get anything interesting for Christmas?

Bella: Nah… just a heifer.

11:24 PM:

Me: What? A heifer? As in, a cow?

Bella: Yep. I got a cow, my mother got a got a goat, and my father got a pig.

11:26 PM:

Me: You're not serious.

Bella: Completely.

Me: Really? Those are... rather unusual gifts.

Bella: That's diplomatic. ;)

Me: Do your parents live on a farm?

Bella: Lol… no. The gifts are only symbolic. We purchased them through the

Heifer Foundation. The actual animals are donated to people in Third World
countries.

Me: Oh! You had me wondering there. That's really nice by the way. (Is it wrong

that I keep reading the Hefner Foundation?)

Bella: Yeah… it's something we enjoy doing. There's no need to stress out over

what to get each other for Christmas, and we help others out in the process. It's a
win, win situation. (What's the Hefner Foundation?)

Me: It is. You have a very kind heart. (You know… Hugh Hefner?)

Bella: Thank you. (Who's Hugh Hefner?)

11:32 PM:

- 104 -

Me: Um... yeah. He's just some random CEO. So, how's the weather in your part

of the country?

Bella: You're asking me about the weather?

Me: Sure, why not?

Bella: You're a Playboy sort of guy, huh?

Me: What?

Bella: Gotcha!

11:36 PM:

Me: Hmm… well, I'd answer your question, but that's not really the type of thing

that *friends* discuss… ;)

Bella: Touché! You got me! ;)

Over the next ten days, Bella and I chatted online at the same time every night,

often times for several hours. It was nice to have so much uninterrupted time with
her, and I really felt that in that short period of time, we came to know each other a
lot better. I certainly knew more about Bella than I did before we left for the break,
that's for sure. Several nights ago, Bella had finally taken the time to explain a little
bit more about her past to me, and I felt privileged that she trusted me enough to do
so.

As it turns out, Bella was born completely deaf. Her deafness was labeled as

unexplained, which meant there was no known precursor to her disability. Her
mother, Renee, had an uncomplicated pregnancy and birth, and there was no history
of deafness in the family. Needless to say, Bella's deafness had come as a shock.
Luckily, her mother immediately recognized that something wasn't right, and from
the time that Bella was several months old, her parents were signing to her. They, of
course, had to learn to sign. Their world had been turned upside down by the birth
of a deaf child, and within a year of Bella being born, her mother quit her job as an
elementary school teacher in order to devote her full attention to raising her deaf
daughter.

When Bella was just two years old, she began intensive oral therapy, i.e. speech

therapy and lip reading. I was surprised to learn that Bella could actually speak
several words, she just chose not to because she claimed she was practically

- 105 -

incomprehensible. Rather than focus on learning to talk (which Bella would never be
able to effectively do), Bella's mother had chosen to push lip reading and mastery of
the English language. She spent several hours every day, teaching Bella to both read
and write, hoping that down the road these skills would provide her with the ability
to compete in a predominately hearing world. This was why Bella's written English
was nearly flawless, she explained. Apparently she was an exception; a majority deaf
people never mastered writing.

It had been hard for me to hear Bella speak about growing up deaf. The isolation

she felt was clear, and had eventually driven her to ask her parents to send her to a
school for the deaf. She'd persevered as the only deaf child in Forks until she was 13
years old, but her inability to effectively communicate with and bond with her peers
had eventually worn her down. She felt isolated and excluded, and she wanted to
feel like she belonged, she said. It all but broke my heart to know that she never felt
as if she did.

The summer before eighth grade, Bella's father, Charlie, took a job with the

sheriff's office in Jacksonville. They put their house in Forks up for rent and drove
cross-country to Florida, where Bella started attending The Florida School for the
Deaf and Blind. Bella hadn't said much about her years there, only that it hadn't
been the experience she'd been expecting. Nevertheless, she remained there
through graduation, after which she moved to Tampa to begin college. It was then
that Bella's father had been offered a job as Chief of Police back in Forks. After five
years away, he and Renee moved back home which is how Bella found herself in
Forks for the holidays.

It was now the night before I was set to leave for Tampa. While I had enjoyed my

time in Chicago, I was really looking forward to going back to school. There were
various reasons why, but the most important reason was Bella. I couldn't wait to see
her again. In fact, I could barely contain my excitement. It was going to be very
difficult for me not to pick her up off the ground and swing her around when I saw
her again. I wanted to do that. I wanted to kiss her too. But I couldn't… because we
were just friends. But starting Monday, I was hoping that would begin to change.
Operation Win Bella's Heart would officially kick into motion at approximately 4
p.m., and from that point forward, there would be no turning back.

One way or another, I was going to make Bella Swan mine.

Endnotes:

Wow. This chapter was a formatting nightmare. Fanfiction doesn't allow

you to do much in the way of indenting and underlining. Sorry if the g-chat

- 106 -

conversation was a nightmare to follow.

Thanks for all of your words of sympathy last week. You have no idea how

comforting it was for me to share stories of beloved pets with some of you. It
was very healing for me.

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 107 -

Surprise

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 10 – Surprise

I was nervous as hell.

It was the first day back to school, and I was sitting in class.

Teaching Assistant Isabella Swan's Introduction to Sign Language class, to be

exact.

Other students milled around me, but none of them had yet to take their seats. It

was still early; class wasn't slated to begin until 4 p.m., and it was just after 3:30. I

- 108 -

had decided to arrive early because I wanted to be seated up front, in the first row,
when Bella arrived. Or maybe it was better to sit in the back…

Fuck!

Signing up for Bella's class had seemed like such a brilliant idea over Christmas

break. I wanted to prove to her that I was serious about learning sign language, and
what better way to do that than to register for her class? But now I was worried.
Would she be upset with me for not consulting her first? I wanted my presence in
her class to be a surprise, but I couldn't push aside the nagging feeling that I should
have talked to her before making my decision.

In an effort to bide time until class began, I opened my newly purchased textbook

and started flipping through the pages. There were many signs that I already
recognized, but so many more that were foreign to me. I would definitely have a leg
up in this class, having already started to learn sign, but given the choice between
Sign Language I or II, I felt this class was most appropriate for me.

I was glancing over signs for different emotions when a sprightly young blonde

wearing a generic smile and a skirt that was border-line inappropriate entered the
room. I looked up without thinking, smiling politely when her eyes briefly met mine.
Unfortunately, she took that as an invitation to walk my way, and I inwardly groaned
when she sat down beside me, telling myself that I really needed to stop smiling at
unfamiliar women. It was an entirely harmless act that somehow always seemed to
be misinterpreted. I wasn't looking for company - I was merely trying to be polite.

I tried to ignore the girl as she shuffled through her things, but when she leaned

towards me and whispered, "I hear the teacher is deaf," I couldn't help but turn to
face her.

"So?" I huffed, slightly irritated. I didn't like her tone of voice. She spoke as if

Bella's deafness was some sort of shameful secret. I felt like I was in high school all
over again, where kids thought it was cool to make fun of other people.

"So, it means we won't get into trouble for talking in class. She won't be able to

hear us," the girl giggled. "I'm Jessica, by the way."

"Edward," I mumbled in response. "And you do realize she can read lips, don't

you? She's deaf, not blind," I tersely pointed out.

"Who can read lips?" Jessica dumbly wondered, and it took all the will power I had

not to roll my eyes.

- 109 -

"The teacher," I clarified.

"Really? How do you know? Are you two friends?"

Shit.

Suddenly, I was extremely uncomfortable. I had walked straight into that

question, but I had no idea how to respond to it. I didn't think there was any harm in
admitting that I knew Bella; we were friends, after all. But I was afraid that if I did,
Jessica might infer from my defensiveness that Bella was more to me than just a
friend, so instead, I decided to lie.

"No," I mumbled while turning away. "Most deaf people can read lips. I'm just

assuming she can too."

"Oh," Jessica replied, seeming genuinely surprised. "I didn't know that. I'm just

taking this class to fulfill my foreign language requirement. I figured it would be
easier than learning French or some other language like that. I took Spanish in high
school and I don't remember a thing!"

Why wasn't I surprised?

I forced a smile in Jessica's direction, simultaneously wondering if I should move

to another seat. I wasn't sure I could handle sitting next to her for an entire class
period. The problem was, if I moved, I would lose my place in the front row, and I
was no longer indecisive about where I wanted to sit. I didn't want my face to get
lost in the crowd; I wanted to be the first person Bella saw when she walked through
the classroom door.

In an effort to disengage myself from my conversation with Jessica, I turned away

from her and busied myself at my desk. Unfortunately, my deterrence strategy didn't
work for long, and soon, she leaned in towards me and started to chatter again.

"So why are you taking this class?" she asked. Her eyes traveled to where I was

intently studying my text before wandering back up to my face again. Sighing, I
turned back in her direction.

"Just interested in learning something different, I guess," I replied, lying through

my teeth.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it will be an easy A," she commented with a wave of her

hand. "I mean, how hard can it be to talk with your hands?"

- 110 -

"It's actually more difficult than you might think," I noted, somewhat annoyed with

her ignorant assumptions. "And it's not just about talking with your hands. You have
to use your entire body to communicate when using sign. Your facial expressions are
especially important."

Jessica stared at me with an amused expression on her face.

"Wow… you're like… really into this, aren't you?"

I shrugged my shoulders in response.

"I just figure if you're going to take a class, you may as well get as much out of it

as possible."

"Well, I can see that I chose the right person to sit by," Jessica laughed. She

surprised me by reaching her hand out and lightly touching my arm, and fuck me if
Bella didn't walk into the room just then. I tensed as her eyes locked with mine; they
opened wide with shock before narrowing slightly in unmistakable irritation. Though
I had quickly pulled my arm away, Bella had seen Jessica touching me, and I was
fairly certain she didn't like it. I tried to hold her attention, telling her with my
pointed gaze that the act was entirely meaningless, but as quickly as she had
appeared in the room, Bella walked to her desk, where she proceeded to unpack her
bag and begin making preparations for class.

I watched her as she powered on her laptop and sorted through a stack of papers,

hoping that she would look my way, but she didn't, and whether or not that was on
purpose, I didn't know. Regardless, I couldn't help but stare at her. It felt like
forever since I had seen her up close, and I'd almost forgotten how beautiful she
was. Bella had worn her hair down today, and it even looked as if she might have
straightened it. It was long, dark and sleek, and I wanted nothing more than to run
my fingers through it. And her face… fuck, it was gorgeous; I couldn't tear my eyes
away from the smoky shadow that painted her eyes. She must have noticed my
focused attention because suddenly she looked up, her beautiful brown eyes
meeting mine.

I tried to read her expression as she stared at me – tried to see if she was at all

upset or annoyed, but it was impossible to do. This woman, who was often so easy to
read, also had the frustrating ability to shut herself off. I supposed it wasn't fair for
me to expect anything more. Bella had a class to conduct, after all. Still, I worried
again that I had made a mistake by enrolling in her class; I didn't want this to be
uncomfortable for either one of us. Sitting there, I wished that she would offer me
something… anything to let me know that everything was all right. And then there it

- 111 -

was, almost as if she had read my mind, the tiniest pull of her lips let me know that
she was amused, if not pleased, by my presence in her class. It was a fleeting smile,
but it was there nonetheless, and I relaxed back into my seat, feeling marginally
better about my decision.

Class turned out to be a fairly low key event. Bella introduced herself by using

sign language and carefully finger-spelling her name. Several students attempted to
mimic her actions, and I wondered if I looked as awkward as they did when I signed.
Their fingers didn't seem to do what their brains were asking them to, and there was
a lot of amused laughter, Bella's included, as they tried to figure it out. Bella took
roll on her laptop, which was attached to a large screen projector. She pointed to
each student's name and had them raise their hands to indicate their presence in
her class. She followed that up by finger-spelling each of their names and asking
them to do the same. Every student struggled with this task – every student but me.

When Bella reached my name on the roster, I notice her pause, taking a deep

breath before looking up in my direction. Even though she already knew I was
present, I still had to play the part, so I raised my hand, watching with mild
disappointment as she finger-spelled my name. I didn't like that. I didn't want her
finger-spelling my name; it seemed so impersonal. Instead, I wanted her to use my
given sign name. Although I still didn't know the meaning behind it, it warmed my
insides to see her shake the letter "e" in front of her. But I realized it would have
been inappropriate for her to address me like that, especially on the first day of
class, so I did my best to remain stoic and not be bothered when she finger-spelled
my name.

After taking roll, Bella initiated a question and answer session, where every

student was tasked with asking a question about sign language or people that are
hearing impaired. Students were instructed to come forward to the front of the
room, where Bella demonstrated the art of lip reading by carefully watching each
student ask their question and then answering it with the help of her laptop.
Students were amazed by Bella's ability to read lips. Me? I was amazed by her.
Watching her teach was fascinating. Bella exuded confidence and enthusiasm, and
despite the fact we were a class full of beginners, she managed to communicate with
everyone just fine. Her warm smile and friendly demeanor immediately put the class
at ease, and by the time the question and answer session came to a close, students
were excited about practicing finger-spelling. Thirty minutes in, and Bella had
motivated her class to learn. That was the sign of a gifted teacher.

"You were right," Jessica whispered, leaning in towards me after we partnered up

to practice finger-spelling. "She can read lips."

- 112 -

Again, I did my best not to roll my eyes. This girl was really beginning to irritate

me, but unfortunately, I had been left with little choice but to work with her. The
boy that was sitting next to me obviously had eyes for the girl sitting adjacent to
him, and Jessica had turned to face me as if it was already decided that we would be
partners. So I worked with her, practicing the letters of the alphabet as we were
instructed to do, and partway through, I noticed Bella surreptitiously eyeing us from
the corner of the room. It made my heart go haywire, knowing that she was
watching me, and when Jessica wasn't looking, I managed to throw a smirk in her
direction. Bella barely suppressed a smile of her own before turning to assist
another student.

It's amazing how fast a class passes when you are interested in what you're

learning. Before I knew it, fifty minutes was over, and everybody was packing up
their things in preparation to leave. I was proud of myself. Both Bella and I had
managed to flawlessly act the parts of both teacher and student, even though every
part of me yearned to reach out and touch her. I wanted to hug Bella. I wanted to
kiss her hello (on the cheek, of course), but most of all, I wanted to make her smile.
It had been too long since I'd last seen her face light up in that special way that
made my heart skip a beat in my chest. Even though I had arrived in Tampa several
days before, Bella was busy preparing for her classes, and I was worried that if I
saw her before school started, I would give my secret away. So I waited, and today
was the first day I had seen her in several long weeks.

I hung back as the last of the students filed out of the room, waiting impatiently to

finally be alone with Bella. She turned to me after bidding the last student farewell,
and she sighed, biting down softly on her lower lip while simultaneously shaking her
head at me. A small smile formed in the corners of her mouth then, and that was all
the encouragement I needed to rise to my feet and make my way in her direction. It
was all I could do not to tackle her, so strong was my urge to take her in my arms,
but when I bent down to hug her hello, a slightly panicked expression flashed across
her face. Bella quickly shook her head no, and I immediately stepped away.

*Sorry,* she swiftly signed, regret rimming her apologetic eyes, and she didn't

need to say anything more. The way her eyes nervously darted in the direction of the
hall told me that she was anxious about being spotted.

It's okay, I reassured her, realizing that I needed to be more cautious. Bella was a

teacher after all, and I was her student, which meant that we had to be careful to
establish appropriate boundaries while in class. I understand. How are you? I asked,
and with those words, all of Bella's nervousness seemed to slip away. She raised a
teasing brow.

- 113 -

*Surprised. How are you?*

I smiled sheepishly at her.

Are you mad?

Thankfully, Bella shook her head no. Her expression softened and she smiled

tenderly at me as her fingers very quickly brushed against mine.

*I'm not mad. Surprised… yes. But not mad. You have a kind heart.*

My kind heart was currently beating wildly out of control. Just the brush of Bella's

fingers against my own was enough to make it skip several beats. Despite the fact
she didn't want me to, I really wanted to hug Bella… to whisk her away from here
and show her how happy I was to see her. We had spent too long apart.

Can you go for a walk? I signed with a hopeful expression on my face. Bella bit

down on her lower lip again, and I wished she would stop doing that. It was very
hard for me to control my body's reactions around her, and I didn't want to
embarrass myself. Bella smiled softly at me before nodding and motioning for me to
wait. I did so willingly, standing by patiently while she collected her things.

Do you have any more classes today? I signed once we finally exited the room.

Bella's amused eyes met mine, and she was barely able to contain her smile.

What? I signed, slightly bemused by her expression.

*You've been practicing,* Bella replied with a wide grin of approval, and I ducked

my head, feeling suddenly shy. I wanted so much to impress this girl and to show
her I was serious about learning sign; it made me feel good, if not slightly
embarrassed, that she had noticed.

Bella and I traversed the halls together, making our way to the front of the

building. Once outside, I paused and asked her where she wanted to go. She
motioned toward the library, and I nodded in response, following along beside her.
Bella and I didn't sign while we walked. I wasn't yet able to multitask like that;
simultaneously signing and walking proved to be very difficult for me. But while it
frustrated me that this restricted our communication, I also enjoyed the simple act
of being in Bella's presence. There was something nice about the easiness that
surrounded us as we walked; we didn't have to fill the space between us with
mindless chatter.

- 114 -

After a few minutes, we approached the entrance to the library, and I paused

outside, uncertain of what Bella intended to do. My face fell a little when I
considered that perhaps she wanted to study, but my concerns were quickly laid to
rest when she held up a single finger, signaling for me to wait while she hurried up
the steps and dropped some books in the repository. Turning back in my direction,
she smiled softly at me as she returned to my side.

*Do you want to walk some more?* she asked. Her eyes were hopeful, just like

mine, and I nodded yes without hesitation. I pointed in the direction of the
Engineering building, knowing there was a beautiful old oak tree under which we
could sit and talk. It was also private, tucked off to the side where few people ever
ventured. Again, we walked quietly, neither one of us attempting to sign. I'm not
sure I would have been able to anyway, with the way her body was brushing against
mine. We were walking closely together, our shoulders sometimes touching when
our steps happened to fall in sync. Several times her pinky finger brushed against
mine, and it was so goddamn tempting to link them together, but I didn't. I wasn't
sure my heart could handle it if she pulled away, and something told me that she
would. She wouldn't want to, but she would.

When we arrived at the tree, I asked Bella if she wanted to sit for awhile, and she

nodded in response. She slipped her bag off of her shoulder and was about to lower
herself to the ground when I surprised her by wrapping my arms around her and
pulling her close. I couldn't help it… I had to touch her. I had to hold her in my arms,
if only for a moment. Not being able to do so earlier was nearly my undoing.

Bella tensed at first, completely taken off guard by my impromptu embrace, and

she stood still for a moment, a statue in my arms, before slowly, tentatively, sliding
her arms around my waist. Settling herself against my chest, she exhaled a small
sigh, almost as if she was as relieved as I was to finally be in my arms.

Jesus it felt good to hold her like this. We had never touched like this before,

where the two of us stood chest to chest in an intimate embrace. Sure, I'd held her
from behind while dancing with her at Technique, but this? This was different.
Bella's head rested firmly against my heart, and I wondered if she could feel it
thumping madly in my chest. I could feel hers, and it was racing. I hugged her
closer, lowering my cheek to the top of her head and marveling at how perfectly she
fit against me with her head tucked comfortably under my chin. I wanted to stand
there, holding her like that forever, imprisoning her indefinitely in my arms, but
eventually she pulled away.

*What was that for?* she shyly signed after I reluctantly let her go. I noticed her

nervously glancing around, but I ignored it, focusing instead on my hands that

- 115 -

remained resting lightly on her hips. Taking a chance, I used my thumbs to rub
several tiny circles there, and I watched triumphantly as Bella's eyes momentarily
fluttered closed.

I missed you, I signed when she opened them again, causing another shy smile to

light up her face. Her eyes held mine for a moment before she slowly signed back.

*I missed you too.*

I grinned widely at Bella, overjoyed by her admission. Taking yet another chance,

I took her hand in mine, relishing in the feeling of our fingers linked together as I
tugged us to the ground. Once we were seated, we both reached for our bags, and
we laughed as we withdrew matching iPads and situated them on top of our laps.

Bella was the first to begin typing.

*You really surprised me today. I wasn't expecting you to register for my

class.*

I hope it was a good surprise.

*Yes, of course it was! I'm not sure how you managed to keep it a secret.*

Believe me, it wasn't easy. I registered Christmas day. I was so tempted to

tell you when we spoke that night, but I also wanted it to be a surprise.

*Well, it was definitely a surprise.*

I'm glad you're not upset with me.

*How could I possibly be upset with you?*

Earlier today… I started to worry, thinking that maybe I shouldn't have

kept it a secret. I should have included you in the decision…

*Oh, Green Eyes, it was a wonderful surprise. Do you know that nobody

has ever gone to the trouble of learning sign language for me? You
continually go out of your way to do nice things for me. To be honest, it's
kind of overwhelming… in a good way. I'm really flattered, but mostly I'm
just grateful.*

Bella peeked up at me, her cheeks flushing red with her admission. Unable to

- 116 -

control myself, I reached out and brushed my fingers along the edge of her jaw,
letting them linger there as I tilted her face in my direction. When her eyes locked
with mine, I clearly stated, "I told you before, I'm not going anywhere. If we are
going to be friends, I need to learn to sign."

Bella sighed, her soft brown eyes holding mine as she absorbed the significance of

my words. I could see that they affected her, stirring something deep inside, and I
hoped that meant she was finally starting to believe that I was different from all the
others; I wanted to be a permanent part of her life. Bella had never asked me to
prove this to her, and I knew she never would. Still, I hoped this gesture –
registering for her class, demonstrated my true intentions and showed her just how
much I cared.

My fingers remained resting on Bella's jaw, and I began softly caressing it, slowly

brushing my thumb back and forth along the line connecting her chin and cheek.
Her breathing quickened at my tender touch, her eyes falling closed as she exhaled
a slow, soft sigh, and I was so goddamn tempted to cross the line she'd drawn. I
wanted to kiss her. Our faces were so close. With a gentle tug, her lips would meet
mine, and I could show her how I truly felt. But then she reached up, gently
wrapping her fingers around mine and pulling my hand away, and the moment was
lost… gone.

Bella's regretful eyes met mine, and she slowly shook her head no before turning

to her iPad.

*You can't touch me like that.*

Why not?

I looked over at Bella, puzzled as to why she was pushing me away, only to see

that she looked truly upset. This surprised me, and I furrowed my brows in
confusion. Just moments ago, Bella had seemed perfectly contented, but that wasn't
the case anymore, and I had no idea why. As I read what she was typing over her
shoulder, I began to understand.

*Edward, please. If someone sees us, there's a chance I could get into

trouble.*

It didn't take much for me to read between the lines and figure out what Bella was

so concerned about. Truthfully, it had been lingering in the back of my mind since
she refused to hug me after class. Bella was my teacher, and I was her student, and
under certain circumstances, it was important for us to maintain clear boundaries. I

- 117 -

knew that, but I didn't understand why this was an issue right now. We weren't in
class. We were alone, outside, spending time together as friends.

We're alone, Bella. There's nobody around but us. Besides, we're just

friends.

The last statement wasn't entirely true, and both Bella and I knew it. But I had the

feeling that now wasn't the time to discuss that.

* I can't take any chances, Edward. My job pays for my tuition.*

I leveled my eyes at Bella then, concerned by what she was suggesting. Did she

feel her job was in jeopardy, simply because I was a student in her class?

What happens if someone sees us together? I'm a little confused…

*The problem is, I really don't know. Spending time with students outside

of class isn't against university rules, per se, but it isn't necessarily
encouraged either. I just want to be careful not to give anyone the wrong
impression. Teaching Assistants are easily replaceable, Edward, and believe
me, I've been fired before for lesser reasons.*

Bella's hand seemed to shake a little as she typed, and I reached out and stilled it

with my own. I had never seen her like this… so anxious and so worried, and I felt
bad that I was the one that had made her feel that way. Suddenly, I was second
guessing my decision to register for her class. I knew when I did that we would have
to exercise a certain amount of caution, but I hadn't considered that spending time
together outside of class would violate university policy. We were adults, for Christ's
sake. This wasn't high school. Still, I respected Bella's predicament, and I wanted
her to know that I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her job.

I understand. I won't touch you like that again.

Bella lifted her face to me, and I could see that my words were as difficult for her

to read as they were for me to write. She didn't want that. She didn't want me to
refrain from touching her… I was almost certain of it. But she wasn't in any position
to argue. Our relationship… who we were to each other was so poorly defined, even
more so after today, that I don't think she knew what to say. I wished we could just
be honest with each other about what was really going on, but it seemed Bella still
wasn't ready for this, so I didn't push.

She swallowed hard, bringing her fisted hand to her chest and circling twice.

- 118 -

*I'm sorry.*

It's okay.

*You could always register for another class…*

Is that what you want? Would that make a difference?

Bella knew exactly what I was asking. If I dropped the class, would she willingly

allow me to touch her? Was there a chance for us to be something more than just
friends?

To my great disappointment, Bella looked up at me and slowly shook her head.

No - it's not what you want, or no - it wouldn't make a difference?

I needed clarification.

*Both, Edward. Both.*

I sighed.

Okay. I'll stay in your class.

Bella smiled at me, though it was a weak smile, dampened by the frustrating

circumstances surrounding our relationship.

And we will remain as friends…

She hesitated only a moment before nodding yes.

Friends who need to be careful…

God this was exasperating, and even though it wasn't funny at all, I couldn't help

but crack a smile at the ridiculousness of it all. Bella caught onto my mood, and I
noticed an earnest smile tugging at her lips in return. I longed to reach out and
trace it with my fingertips, to softly kiss its edges, but instead, I scooted closer to
Bella until our shoulders were nearly touching.

We'll make this work, all right?

And I was pretty sure we both knew I was referring to much more than how we'd

- 119 -

manage a teacher/student relationship.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

Rec: The Other Side of Me by BelieveItOrNot. While the subject matter is a

difficult one to read (acquaintance rape), this poignant story is thoughtfully written
with both beauty and grace. It is perhaps the most intelligently written and
comprehensive look at the long and painful journey of healing that I have read in all
of the Fandom. Her characters are relatable and believable, and Bella and Edward's
efforts to overcome a traumatic act will both humble and inspire you. Give it a try.

- 120 -

Defining the Indefinable

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 11 – Defining the Indefinable

It is a funny thing, trying to define the indefinable. I had spent weeks trying to

make sense of my relationship with Bella, but I was no closer to being able to define
it now than I was five weeks ago at the beginning of the semester.

My first week back to school, I was hopeful that Bella and I were making progress.

She seemed just as happy as I was to see her after Christmas break, and my hopes
were actually buoyed when she reacted so cautiously to my presence in her class.
She was worried that our relationship would be misunderstood, but if we were just
friends, why should she be concerned? Both she and I knew it was because we were

- 121 -

so much more to each other than friends, but Bella was still not ready to outwardly
acknowledge this.

There had been one unexpected but extremely promising turn in our relationship

over the course of the last several weeks, and it had come at Bella's suggestion. One
week into my status as a student officially enrolled in her class, she had brought up
the idea of studying together – away from school, at her apartment, to be exact. Our
time together at school was limited now, and she seemed just as anxious as I was to
spend some time alone.

Our first night in her apartment was wonderful. Needless to say, we didn't study

much. We were too busy catching up with each other, excitedly discussing our first
week of classes and anything else that came to mind. Bella apologized that things
needed to be this way, but I was perfectly fine with the arrangement if it meant that
I could spend time with her in her own home. She told me she was going to talk to
her advisor to be clear on university policy, and I told her she should do whatever
she was comfortable with. I would support her decision either way.

*I hope you don't think I'm overreacting.*

Bella peered up at me from where she sat on the couch, her iPad situated squarely

in the center of her lap. I had accidently left mine at my apartment, but that just
meant that Bella and I had to sit closer together to share hers, which obviously, I
didn't mind.

I don't think that at all. I just wish I had thought things through before

deciding to enroll in your class.

Even though Bella and I had both agreed I would remain in her class, I still

worried that I had made the wrong decision, but when Bella reached her hand out,
resting it reassuringly on my arm, those feelings faded to black.

*You made the right decision,* she signed, and I could see in her eyes that she

was being honest with me.

Can I ask you something?

*You know you can ask me anything.*

Last week, when we were sitting beneath the tree, you mentioned being

fired for lesser reasons than hanging out with friends. I've been wondering
about that. Do you mind telling me what happened?

- 122 -

Bella sighed heavily, her face turning away from me as she gazed out her sliding

glass door. Her expression was suddenly somber, and I immediately regretted
asking my question, but then she turned back to me, smiling softly, letting me know
it was okay.

*I don't mind, Green Eyes. If you really want to know, I'll tell you.*

I do.

Bella nodded, and began telling her story.

*It happened several years ago, when I was a junior in college and I

decided I wanted to get a job. It was my first time applying to work
anywhere. I wanted to work in high school, but my parents wouldn't hear of
it. They thought I needed to focus on my studies. They weren't wild about
me applying for jobs in college, either, but they understood my desire to feel
like I was contributing something towards my education. I didn't like that
they shouldered the entire financial burden themselves, especially
considering the amount of money they had paid for me to attend the school
for the deaf.

I wasn't sure where I wanted to work, but Jake helped me out. He went

around town with me, collecting applications from potential employers.
Right out of the gate, I knew there were some jobs I probably wouldn't be
hired for. I can't speak and I can't hear, so that automatically limits my
options. But for all the things I can't do, there are that many more that I
can. All I needed was for someone to give me a chance.

I was given that chance by a copy shop. The day I applied for the job, a

corporate manager happened to be in the store, and he took a liking to me,
or so I thought. In retrospect, I think he was just trying to make it appear as
if he cared about diversity within his staff. He hired me as an example of
how *forward thinking* his company was. The problem was the store
manager didn't feel the same. He didn't like me from the start, and even
though my tasks weren't complicated, he made my job very difficult to do.

For example, he refused to communicate with me through writing, even

though the times I needed him to were few and far between. My job basically
entailed filling various copy orders for students and local businesses. There
were always clear cut instructions as to what the client needed, but
sometimes I had a question. He was always irritated when I approached him
with a piece of paper in hand. Back then, I didn't have my iPad, so I relied

- 123 -

more on pen and paper. I tried not to take his attitude too personally, but it
was hard not to. Some days he would follow closely behind me, watching my
every move, almost if he was waiting for me to screw up so that he could fire
me. Other times, if I made a mistake, he would call me stupid in front of
other employees, not remembering… or caring that I could read lips. Not
that I needed to read his lips; I always knew when he was making comments
about me because the other employees looked uncomfortable.

One day he took things too far. Businesses are required by law to supply

an interpreter for mandatory training and meetings. When I was first hired,
I had an interpreter with me during orientation and my first several days of
work. After that, it wasn't necessary, not until my manager called a meeting
to discuss changes in service protocol several months later. He conveniently
forgot to arrange for an interpreter that day, but luckily, I was able to call
Jake. He came right away and translated for me, but by the time he arrived,
several key changes had already been discussed that nobody bothered to tell
me about. At the end of the meeting, I approached my manager and asked if
there was anything I had missed, but he said there wasn't, and foolishly, I
believed him.

The following week, a huge order came in from a new client we'd just

landed an account with. Apparently, we were supposed to fast track any copy
requests from this client, prioritizing them above everybody else. The
problem was I never got that memo. I had *missed* that important part of
the staff meeting and was never told their orders were to be handled first.
So, when the secretary came looking for her copies at the end of my work
day and I hadn't even started the job, my manager fired me on the spot for
incompetency. He set me up to fall, Edward, and I fell right into his trap.*

I had been reading over Bella's shoulders as she recounted her story on her iPad,

and when she pulled her fingers away from the keyboard and swallowed hard, I
knew she was done. I was speechless, absolutely stunned by what had happened to
her. I had never really considered how difficult it was for a person with a disability
to get by in this world, but Bella's experiences were certainly an eye-opener for me.
I was completely disgusted by her manager, unable to believe that someone could be
so malicious and cold. Reaching down, I took her hand in mine, her eyes meeting
mine as I circled her hand in the center of my chest.

Sorry, I signed, her hand sheltered beneath mine. She offered me a sad smile,

finger-spelling with her free hand, *It's okay.*

I pulled the iPad from Bella's lap onto mine.

- 124 -

It's not okay. It's wrong. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. What did

you do? Did you report him to his manager? What about the ACLU? Couldn't
they have helped?

Bella shook her head, tugging the iPad back onto her lap.

*It wasn't worth it, Edward. Legally, I was within my rights to sue, but it

would have been his word against mine, and I didn't have the time or the
desire to become involved with a messy lawsuit. Sometimes, even though it's
hard to do, you just have to walk away.*

I can imagine that must have been very difficult for you to do.

*It was, but you know what bothered me the most? It wasn't the fact that I

lost my job; I really didn't care about that. What bothered me the most was
my manager's belief that simply because I am disabled, I am somehow
intellectually inferior. Never mind that I could probably kick his ass in
Calculus and English Lit., he never even gave me a chance to prove myself!
He just wrote me off as worthless based on his own misguided assumptions.
I'd like to say it doesn't hurt that people feel that way, Edward, but it does,
sometimes it really does. I have to work so hard to prove myself, and it can
be tiring after awhile, not to mention disheartening.*

Bella sighed, and instinctively, my arm came to wrap around her shoulders, as if a

warm and tender touch today could erase the pain of yesterday. She seemed
surprised by my gesture, at first gazing up at me out of tentative eyes before
accepting the comfort I was offering and resting her head on my shoulder. Without
thinking, I bent and placed a kiss to her temple.

"You're not worthless, you're perfect," I murmured to myself, my lips pressed

firmly against her skin, and while it didn't escape my notice that this was the first
time I had kissed Bella, there was nothing physical about it. Instead, it was my way
of letting her know that I sympathized and cared, and that I fervently hoped she
would never have to deal with that type of discrimination again.

After that night, Bella and I began meeting at her apartment on a regular basis.

The first week, I came over once. The second week, I was invited over twice and I
showed up on my own one other night. By the third week, Bella didn't even bother
issuing a formal invitation, rather she told me to come by whenever I wanted.
Tonight marked the end of the fifth week of our arrangement, and I had been over
nearly every night this week. If Bella minded, she didn't let it show. In fact, I think
she kind of enjoyed my company. I know I enjoyed hers.

- 125 -

I stood outside her door now, feeling a little ridiculous. I was holding flowers in

my hand, which was something I hadn't done since I was sixteen years old and
handing a corsage to my prom date. Still, I couldn't help but pull over to the side of
the road earlier, when I spotted the flowers on my way to Bella's house from the
hospital. They stood out amongst all the rest - tall, proud and purple. I picked a
small bunch, hoping Bella didn't think it was silly of me, and now here I was,
wondering if my flowers would measure up. I wanted to win Bella's heart; hopefully
she didn't think I was presenting her with a bunch of weeds.

I rang the doorbell, waiting patiently while the built in flashing light system

alerted Bella to my presence. It was Friday night, and she was expecting me. We
planned to order pizza then watch a movie together. This was a rare treat for us.
Mostly, we studied in our time together, which was rather ironic considering my
mother had been concerned about my grades. I was actually getting more studying
done now than before I met Bella. Her apartment was so quiet, uncluttered by any
background noise such as the stereo or television. During study breaks, we
practiced sign, and I was slowly but surely becoming more fluent. We still used our
iPads for more involved conversations, but Bella always encouraged me to use my
hands when I could. She was very patient with me, which helped. I never felt
pressured or embarrassed to practice with her.

In the midst of my musings, the door slowly opened. Bella stood there, an amused

grin on her face as she noted the flowers in my hand.

"These are for you," I said, holding out my hand and presenting the flowers to her.

I was thankful that she couldn't hear the tremor in my voice; I was ridiculously
nervous.

Bella's eyes lit up as she took them from me, thanking me with a sincere and

beautiful smile.

I saw them by the side of the road, and I thought of you. I had to stop to pick

them.

*They're beautiful.*

That's what I thought. Beautiful and unique, just like you.

Bella's cheeks flushed red at my words, and I shifted my weight awkwardly from

foot to foot before she stepped to the side and invited me in. Once inside, she
quickly hunted down a vase, filling it with water and depositing the flowers inside.
She set the vase in the center of her little kitchen table then, turning to me with a

- 126 -

shy smile.

*Thank you,* she signed, appearing just as nervous as me.

You're welcome, I replied, walking slowly in her direction. Her eyes tracked my

movement, and the closer I got to her the more nervous Bella seemed to become,
her chest rising and falling with increasing speed until I was standing directly in
front of her.

*What?* she nervously signed, her eyes following my hand as I reached out and

gently dragged my fingers through a lock of her unbelievably soft, brown hair. She
sighed when I touched her, her eyes fluttering closed before opening again and
locking with mine. My breathing was heavy too, matching Bella's own, and if she
hadn't appeared so uncertain, I might have chosen that moment to kiss her. But I
didn't feel like she was ready yet, so I waited, instead flipping my hand up in front of
me like a magician holding a suite of cards and presenting her with a tiny purple
petal.

"It was caught in your hair," I murmured, and Bella laughed softly, reaching out

and taking it from me, but not before I had a chance to take hold of her hand and
gently rub my thumb over the soft skin of her wrist. I caressed it for a moment
before letting go and asking Bella if she was ready to order the pizza. She gawked at
me, and it was all I could do to suppress a smirk. I was getting to her – breaking
down her resolve, and I was enjoying every last moment of the process.

After ordering a pizza loaded with every topping imaginable and eating more of it

than either one of us should, Bella and I retired to her couch for the evening to
watch a movie. As I settled in beside her, I smiled to myself because everything just
felt so normal... so right. Of course, it would have been better if I could have
wrapped Bella up in my arms, holding her close to me while watching the movie, but
I was satisfied just to be beside her. It was enough... for now.

Tonight we were watching Life is Beautiful - Bella's choice, not mine. I tended to

stay away from those types of movies. My life was stressful enough without
becoming emotionally overwhelmed by a film. But Bella liked these sorts of stories,
and I'd picked last week, so I sat dutifully by and watched her choice with her, just
as she had done for me.

Half way through the movie, I had managed to scoot a little closer to Bella on the

couch. Her legs were stretched out on the ottoman in front of her, resting
comfortably next to mine, and I was completely focused on the fact that our thighs
were nearly touching. Of course, I knew I shouldn't be thinking about this, as these

- 127 -

types of thoughts almost always led to involuntary reactions in my body. But I
couldn't help it. Bella and I might have been pretending we were just friends, but
the sexual tension surrounding us was through the fucking roof. Even Bella wouldn't
have been able to deny it… if I had been brave enough to ask, which I wasn't.

I was contemplating the possibility of casually draping my arm along the backside

of the couch and bringing Bella flush against my side when the flashing light system
in her apartment announced the arrival of a visitor. Bella stood up from the couch,
putting the movie on pause before walking over to the door. I followed behind her,
intending to grab a couple of beers from the fridge when I saw him.

Jake.

Even though I had no right to, I saw red. What the fuck was he doing here?I

hadn't seen Jake since before Christmas break, when he had nearly stared holes
through my head at Technique. These past few weeks, Bella had hardly mentioned
him, and even though I hadn't forgotten about him, I certainly wasn't expecting him
to show up at her front door. Standing to the side, I did my best to appear unfazed
as Jake drew Bella into a hug. I wanted to wrench her from his arms, but I realized
that would not have been appropriate. Jake hadn't seen me yet, but when Bella
released him from their embrace, he stepped inside, his eyes immediately meeting
mine and at first registering shock... then serious irritation. Bella noticed the
exchange and narrowed her eyes at Jake, warning him to behave. Turning to me, she
smiled lightly, but it was a nervous smile, and I wondered if she was as
uncomfortable as me.

*I've never introduced the two of you, have I?* she signed.

I shook my head, and Bella turned to position her body so that she faced both me

and Jake. She finger spelled my name first, followed by Jake's. Then, she waved her
hand between the two of us, indicating that we should shake hands. I did so,
grudgingly, knowing it was the polite thing to do.

"It's nice to meet you," Jake grumbled, his cordial words starkly contrasting with

his gruff tone of voice. I wanted to grumble back, but Bella was looking at me in an
expectant manner, so I decided to act civil. I could be the better man when
necessary, especially when it served my purpose.

"Nice to meet you too," I said while firmly shaking his hand. I let mine fall to my

side then, and an awkward silence fell between us. Bella stared at me, Jake stared at
Bella and I stared at Jake. As seconds ticked away, I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
This situation was fucking ridiculous. I was about to excuse myself, wondering if

- 128 -

maybe I should give Bella and Jake a moment alone, when thankfully, she started to
sign.

*Edward and I were just watching a movie. Would you like to join us?*

I inwardly balked at Bella's words, trying hard to hide my irritation. Seriously

though, what the fuck was she thinking? Unwelcome images of the three of us
sitting together on the couch, Bella tucked awkwardly between Jake and me,
invaded my thoughts, and I decided that if this was what it was going to come down
to, I would leave. I couldn't deal with that. Not tonight. Not ever.

Jake started to sign in response to Bella's invitation, but his hands were moving

far too fast for me to understand a word he said. A moment later, Bella signed back,
and soon they were engaged in their own private conversation. I felt like a total ass,
standing there and not understanding a word they were saying, but I didn't move to
interrupt until things looked like they were starting to get intense. Jake and Bella
were signing more animatedly now, each of them looking annoyed. I finally waved
my hand in Bella's face, catching her attention. She paused, and when she turned in
my direction, she appeared contrite.

*I'm so sorry,* she signed, her face clearly remorseful. *I didn't mean to exclude

you.*

It's okay, I signed back. It was a little annoying to be left out of the conversation,

but I couldn't always expect Bella to slow down for me. Jake, on the other hand,
could have made an effort to explain what the hell was going on. It would have been
much easier for him to do this than it would have been for Bella, but he didn't
bother. Big fucking surprise.

"I'll just be going," Jake said as he studied my exchange with Bella. He turned on

foot and was about to open the front door when Bella protested, asking him to
please reconsider coming inside and having a beer. Thankfully, Jake shook his head,
telling Bella he would see her in school on Monday. Bella sighed, clearly
disappointed, which definitely disappointed me. She obviously didn't want Jake to
leave, and this bothered me, even though it shouldn't.

Jake paused partway through the door, turning to briefly face me.

"I'll see you around," he said, holding my eyes with an uncomfortable gaze.

"Yeah..." I agreed while slowly nodding my head. "I guess you will."

- 129 -

I didn't mean for my words to come off as a threat, but I wondered if that's how

Jake perceived them. His eyes narrowed, pinning me with a coal black gaze before
he disappeared out the front door. Turning to Bella, I knew it was time for us to have
a conversation about Jake. She must have felt the same because she grabbed her
iPad from the kitchen counter before heading back into the living room. She sat
down in the center of the sofa there, sighing when I settled in beside her.

*I'm so sorry, Green Eyes. I didn't mean to ignore you. Jake was just

surprised to see you here.*

I stifled an ironic laugh. The feeling was definitely mutual.

I was surprised to see him too. Does he normally stop by like that?

Maybe I didn't have a right to ask that question, but I asked it anyway. Bella had

told me before that she and Jake were just friends, but he certainly didn't act like a
friend. He didn't seem to like Bella spending time with me, and the only reason I
could figure why was because he felt threatened. Again, the feeling was mutual.

*Not usually, but it's not unheard of. Jake's a good friend, Green Eyes.

We've known each other for a long time.*

I remember you said his sister's deaf.

Bella looked over at me and nodded.

*She is. I met her my first year at The Florida School for the Deaf and

Blind. She commuted to school from Orlando, and sometimes Jake would
ride along with their father when he picked her up in the afternoons.*

Words were left hanging, and I was pretty sure there was more to Bella's

relationship with Jake than she was letting on. I didn't think she would voluntarily
offer more information, but maybe if I asked...

Have you always been just friends?

Bella turned to me, studying me closely for a moment while her fingers hovered

over top her iPad. She didn't seem annoyed by my question, but she did seem to be
considering why I had asked. Of course, she had to know why. She had to know I
was sizing up the competition, because regardless of what she said about their
relationship, there was no doubt in my mind that Jake posed a threat to ours. Slowly,
she lowered her hands and began typing.

- 130 -

*No, we haven't always been just friends. Jake and I dated for three years

in high school and college, but our relationship was over several years ago.
He's dating a girl named Nessie now.*

Without even realizing what I was doing, I exhaled a deep sigh of relief. Jake had a

girlfriend, and my life had just become infinitely less complicated. Still, if Bella had
dated Jake for three years, her relationship with him was closer than I thought. And
even if he was dating another woman, did he still carry a flame for Bella? It wouldn't
be hard to understand if he did. Bella was an amazing woman, and any man would
be privileged to call her his girlfriend. I was certain Jake wasn't blind to that fact.

I sat quietly by Bella's side, contemplating my next question. I didn't want to

overstep my bounds, but I really wanted to know more. Hopefully, Bella wouldn't
feel like I was pushing her. I never wanted to push her.

Do you mind me asking about him?

I asked my question, hoping that Bella understood that while I was curious, the

decision was hers to make. If she didn't want to talk about Jake, I would accept her
decision without argument. I wouldn't like it, but I would accept it… for her. Bella
turned to meet my gaze, thoughtful brown eyes holding expectant green, and I
wished I knew what was going on inside of her head. She was silent to me in so
many ways, and it was a never-ending source of frustration for me. I watched as
Bella sighed and my hopes fell. But then she did something entirely unexpected,
something that caused my heart to hammer madly in my chest.

Slowly, carefully, Bella reached out her left hand and gently brushed the hair from

my eyes.

I froze.

Bella had never touched me like that... in such a tender and intimate way. My

heart beat wildly in my chest in response, my senses clouding over as I desperately
tried to make sense of what was going on. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as
Bella's right hand started to move, and as difficult as it was for me to focus on
anything other than her exquisite touch, I knew I needed to pay attention, or her
words would be lost on me.

*Not if it makes you feel better,* she slowly signed, her eyes never leaving mine.

I swallowed hard, unable to believe what was happening. Was Bella reassuring

me? Because it sure as hell seemed like she was, and I liked it. I liked it a lot,

- 131 -

actually, and I wanted so badly to kiss her in that moment, to firmly grip her
shoulders and tell her it did make me feel better. It made me feel better to know
that Jake was really just a friend. It made me feel better to know that she cared
enough about my feelings to reassure me of this. I could do it… it wouldn't take
much. I could lean forward just a little and press my lips To hers. But would Bella
kiss me back, or would she push me away?

Fuck! I was so goddamn confused, and it was so completely ridiculous because we

both knew that this thing between us was so much more... so much more than either
one of us would admit, but instead of facing it head on, we side-stepped it, just like
we were doing now.

Bella pulled her hand from my face all too soon, her fingers leaving a hot trail

down my cheek, but I refused to look away. She smiled timidly at me then, almost as
if she was embarrassed by what she had done, and in that moment, I knew. I knew
that if I tried to kiss Bella, she would push me away, and I didn't want that. When
Bella and I finally kissed, I wanted it to be on her terms, and I wanted her to be as
certain as I was that it was right... that we were right. So as difficult as it was for me
to do, I pulled back, giving Bella the space she needed to come to the decision to
kiss me on her own.

With the moment between us gone, I briefly considered changing the topic of

conversation to something less heavy, but Bella had given me an open invitation to
ask more questions, and I intended to do just that. Call me sick, call me twisted, call
me a fucking masochist, but I needed to know more about her relationship with
Jake.

Why did the two of you break up? Three years is a long time...

I waited patiently for Bella to respond, assuming she would need time to explain.

Break ups are hardly ever simple, after all. They are complicated and messy... just
two of the many reasons why I avoided relationships to begin with. But Bella
surprised me, taking only a moment to answer my question. Apparently, it wasn't as
complicated as I thought.

*I wasn't in love with him.*

Bella looked up at me, and I stared back at her in surprise. She wasn't in love with

him. It was such a simple, honest answer, though I doubted it had been easy for her
to come to terms with after dating Jake for so long. And I wondered, was the feeling
mutual? Did he feel the same about her as she felt about him? Or had she broken his
heart...

- 132 -

Is he still in love with you?

It was a difficult question, one that Bella might not want to answer and one that I

really didn't have the right to ask, but I asked anyway. Just as I expected, it took her
a moment to respond, and when she finally did, I could see it was with great
difficulty. Bella slowly pecked away at her iPad, the words not coming easily, only to
erase what she had written and start all over again. Finally, after starting and
stopping several times over, she pushed the iPad in my direction.

*To be honest with you, I don't really know. Sometimes I think that maybe

he is, but he's with Nessie now, and she makes him happy. I think it's just
hard for him to let me go. We were together for so long, and he still feels
protective over me. After we broke up, I dated several hearing men. None of
the relationships worked out, and one of them in particular really hurt me. I
think that's why he's so wary of you. It doesn't excuse his behavior, but he
doesn't trust hearing men. He doesn't want to see me get hurt all over again.
The thing is he just doesn't understand what's going on. I've tried to tell
him, but he doesn't understand.*

Bella watched me carefully out of the corner of her eye as I read what she had

written. When I finished, I turned my head so that I was facing her, and when her
steady gaze met mine, I slowly signed, What's going on?

The space between Bella and me was heavy with unanswered questions, but even

though she was putting forth a valiant effort to remain true to her assertion that we
could only be friends, her shell was slowly cracking. She wanted me... I could see it
in her eyes, in the way they begged me to understand, in the way they pleaded with
me not to hurt her if she succumbed to this thing that was happening between us.
And as certain as I was just moments before that Bella was not ready to kiss me, I
was even more certain now that she was. Her breathing was labored, her skin was
flushed, and her softly parted lips were waiting, just waiting for me to take them
with mine...

And then my fucking phone rang, and I tried to ignore it, God help me I did. But

Bella, ever the perceptive one, noticed my momentary distraction, and the moment
was gone.

*What is it?* she signed, shaking herself out of her daze and looking at me

curiously.

"Phone," I mumbled out loud as I pulled it from my back pocket. It was Emmett. I

debated whether or not to answer it, but when I glanced in Bella's direction, I knew

- 133 -

that it would be pointless to try and recapture the moment. I could try to kiss her,
but it wouldn't be the same. Sighing in frustration, I brought the phone to my ear.

"This better be fucking good," I barked into the phone, and I immediately

regretted my words. I was worked up, but that wasn't Emmett's fault. It wasn't
anybody's fault, really, and I needed to get my head back about me.

"What the hell?" Emmett huffed, less than amused by my surly mood.

"Sorry," I mumbled, rubbing my hand across the back of my neck. "You just

caught me at a bad time." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella staring at
me, and she looked concerned. She might not have been able to hear my outburst,
but she could certainly sense my frustration. I offered her a half-hearted smile,
mouthing "sorry" as Emmett spoke into the phone.

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to Technique, but now I'm not so

sure," Emmett said. "Where are you, anyway?"

"I'm at Bella's," I explained, and Emmett inhaled sharply.

"Oh shit, dude, did I... oh God, I did, didn't I? I just cock-blocked you…"

Emmett sounded so panic stricken, it was hard for me to remain upset with him.

"It's okay," I sighed. "It's probably for the better, anyway. I'm not sure that Bella's

ready to head where we were heading," I said, biting my tongue when I realized she
was probably reading my lips. Then I felt guilty for thinking like that. I shouldn't be
saying anything around Bella that I wouldn't want her to *hear*. That would be rude
on my part. I glanced in her direction, wondering if she had, in fact, read my lips,
but it didn't appear as if she had.

"So what do you think? You guys in?" Emmett pressed.

I sighed, not really sure what to do.

"I don't know. I'm not sure Bella would want to..."

"Have you asked her?" Emmett interrupted.

"Well, no..."

"Then ask. Don't go making decisions for her, assuming you know what she

- 134 -

wants."

"I wasn't doing that," I shot back defensively, but Emmett only chuckled.

"You were and you know it, and that's why you're acting like a dick. Come on,

man. You've been in this non-relationship for weeks now. Don't you think the two of
you should come out of hiding? I haven't seen Bella since before Christmas."

I sighed. Emmett was right. I was purposely avoiding bringing Bella around

because I didn't want to push her too far too fast. Her apartment seemed to be her
comfort zone, but maybe it was time that changed. Maybe we both needed to do
something different in an effort to push us past this maddening "are we" or "aren't
we" stage. I knew one thing for certain - I didn't want to continue watching Life is
Beautiful. Not after everything that had gone down tonight. We could both stand to
get out and let off some steam, so I asked Bella if she wanted to go, and surprisingly,
she said yes. In fact, she seemed excited, which caused me to feel the same in
return.

Thirty minutes later, we were out the door, a palpable energy crackling between

us. Things were finally beginning to shift in our relationship, and there was no
longer any sense in trying to deny it. Little did I know that by the end of the evening,
we wouldn't have to.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 135 -

Instigation

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 12 - Instigation

Stepping out into the dark, chilly night, I tried in vain to convince Bella to take my

Volvo into Ybor City; her outdated behemoth of a truck left a little to be desired. Her
father had bought if off of Jake's father during her junior year in High School, and
she'd been riding around in it ever since. She told me that even if she had the money
to buy a new car, she wouldn't. Her truck suited her just fine. She had no desire to
jet around the city in a tiny, foreign made car. And yes... that was a personal attack
on my Volvo. She loved to tease me about my "safe and practical" car, but two could
play at that game. Climbing into the cab of her truck, I cranked the outdated radio
up as loud as it could possibly go before settling back into my seat. Bella felt the

- 136 -

vibrations and turned to look at me, confused.

*Why is it so loud?* she asked, her brows furrowed tightly together. Her

expression caused me to chuckle softly. Bella was a master at doing this… furrowing
her brows, and I loved it. I loved how her facial expressions communicated almost as
much as her hands.

I shrugged my shoulders, barely able to contain my grin.

I had to turn up the volume. I can't hear anything over the roar of the engine, I

teased. Of course, my signs weren't nearly as eloquent as I would have liked, but I
did my best to communicate my thoughts. I was sure I got my point across when
Bella's face twisted up into a smirk.

*One of the benefits of being deaf,* she ribbed with a wink. *I can't hear a thing.*

I laughed out loud at Bella's comment, shaking my head at how completely

enamored I was with her. It never ceased to amaze me how at ease she was with her
disability. She knew precisely what it meant to be deaf, including the limitations it
sometimes imposed, but she hardly ever let it get her down, at least not as far as I
could tell. Bella was quick to poke fun at herself, and I liked that. I liked that she
didn't take life too seriously, unless, of course, we were talking about school. Bella
took her responsibilities as both a student and a teacher very seriously, hence the
reason we were avoiding being seen together on campus.

I did wonder why Bella had so easily agreed to go into Ybor City with me tonight.

Aside from grabbing coffee at a little shop near campus a few times, Bella and I
hadn't ventured from her apartment. I assumed that was because she was worried
about being seen together, but it occurred to me that I had never really asked her
out.

*What are you thinking about?* she signed as we merged onto the interstate.

I look over at Bella and grinned.

Isn't it dangerous to sign and drive? I teased.

Bella scoffed at me in mock offense.

*I can multitask,* she defended herself, returning my grin in kind. She wasn't

grinning moments later when I raised my brows in question.

- 137 -

"Multitask?" I repeated, watching in rapt attention as Bella blushed from her chest

to her cheeks. I could think of many ways that multitasking could come in handy,
and most of them did not involve clothes.

*Get your mind out of the gutter,* she teased with a nervous smile. She focused

her attention on the road then, but if she thought I didn't catch her furtive glances
in my direction during the rest of the ride into the city, she was wrong. I saw them
all.

When we arrived in Ybor City, Bella parked as close as possible to the club, but it

was Friday night, and the strip was crowded. This meant that we would have a
several block walk. Exiting the car, we moved towards the main street in town,
heading in the direction of Technique. As we wandered together down the street, I
let my hand rest gently on the small of Bella's back. I knew that in doing so, there
was a chance that she might shy away, but after everything we had been through
tonight, I decided it was a chance I was willing to take. My heart worked overtime in
my chest when Bella didn't protest my move, and it was all I could do not to wrap my
arm around her shoulder and officially claim her as mine. That might be pushing my
luck, though, and I was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even though
things between us were slowly changing, I realized that what Bella and I shared was
still tentative and fragile, and I didn't want to do anything that might rock the boat.
Bella and I were close... so close to redefining who we were, but if I pushed her, I
worried that she might bolt, so I played things as cool as possible.

As I expected, Technique was crowded, and Bella and I waited outside for nearly

twenty minutes before we reached the front of the line. Not that I minded. There
were so many people that we were forced to stand close, my chest pressed firmly
against Bella's back. Ten minutes in, I allowed myself to rest my chin atop her head,
relishing in the feel of her silky soft hair tickling my skin, and the best part was she
didn't pull away. She didn't do anything to encourage me, but she didn't pull away,
either. My hands were in my pockets, and I desperately wanted to remove them and
thread my fingers together with hers, but I was sure that would spook her, so I
accepted the closeness she was offering without complaint, sighing in
disappointment when it was our time to pay. I could have stood together with her
outside all night long, her back perfectly molded against my chest, and I would have
been perfectly, blissfully happy.

Once we were inside the club, my eyes scanned the crowd for Emmett and Rose.

Tanya had stayed back tonight, which I was kind of grateful for. Both she and Rose
had yet to officially meet Bella, and while I knew I shouldn't have anything to worry
about, the Tanya situation still made me feel slightly uncomfortable. At best, all of us
together at once would be awkward, and I was hoping to avoid that for as long as

- 138 -

possible.

A flash of brown, curly hair caught my eye, and I zeroed in on Emmett. He was at

the front of the club, leaning over the bar, chatting easily with the bartender there.
A few moments later, I spotted Rose. She was standing on the edge of the dance
floor, cocktail in hand, swaying in time with the music. I tapped Bella on the
shoulder, pointing in Emmett's direction, and she nodded at me in understanding,
leading the way through the crowd towards the bar. My hand never left her back,
and she never complained.

Emmett didn't notice us to begin with, but when Bella reached up and tapped him

on the shoulder, he turned around, smiling widely as he pulled her into a hug. I was
pretty sure Bella wasn't expecting his exuberant embrace. She gasped a little as he
hugged her tight, and I laughed out loud, the look of shock on her face absolutely
priceless. Slowly, Bella's arms came around Emmett's waist, and she hugged him
back, tentatively at first, then with more force.

"Hey there!" he boomed once he finally let her go. "It's nice to see you again," he

said, and I inwardly fist-pumped him for taking the time to enunciate and talk slow.
He was making an effort with Bella, and that meant more to me than words could
say. Bella smiled up at Emmett, offering him a tiny wave before he turned his
attention to me.

"Dude! You live! I was close to filing a missing persons report on you. You're never

around anymore!"

Bella must have caught at least some of what Emmett said, because she turned a

very enticing shade of red at his comment. I smirked, letting my hand press into the
small of her back with a bit more force. She knew she was the reason why I wasn't
around as much, but there wasn't any need for her to be embarrassed about it. In an
effort to reassure her, I started rubbing small, gentle circles in the center of her
back. I held my breath, wondering if she would mind, but Bella didn't disappoint me.

"I've been busy," I answered Emmett, continuing the motion with my hand, and he

smirked right back.

"I can see that," he replied with a wide smile. I looked down at Bella who was

laughing softly now, slowly shaking her head. She waved her hand between Emmett
and me, catching our attention.

*You do realize I'm standing right here, and I can understand everything you're

saying,* she pointed out, teasing us both good-naturedly. I laughed along with her,

- 139 -

surprised to find myself translating for Emmett without even giving it a second
thought. I was quite proud of myself for that.

"You know something?" Emmett said to Bella. "I think I like you. You're not afraid

to call us on our shit."

Bella grinned, a mischievous smile lighting up her face as she slowly pointed her

finger at Emmett.

*You remember that,*she signed.

Emmett barked out a laugh just as Rose joined us. She watched him closely as he

interacted with Bella, studying them both with guarded curiosity. I regarded Rose
the same way. She was tense, and I didn't like it. I wondered what put her on edge;
was it because Emmett was talking to Bella? Even though they hadn't been formally
introduced, Rose knew who Bella was, so that shouldn't be the case. And then I
noticed Rose's eyes move quickly between Bella to me, and I understood perfectly
what was going on. This was about Tanya. Rose was a notorious mother hen, and in
her mind, I had slighted her sister. I sincerely hoped this wouldn't translate into
unfounded hostility towards Bella, but I was afraid it would because Rose wasn't
known for diplomacy. She was brashly honest, often to the point of being rude.

"Rose," I said, calling her name and catching her attention. I fixed her with a

cautionary gaze, warning her to behave herself before turning in Bella's direction. I
tapped her once on the shoulder, and she smiled widely as I pointed to Rose and
made introductions. Rose smiled back, though it was forced, and both Bella and I
knew it.

"Nice to meet you," Rose said, acknowledging Bella with a curt nod of her head.

Bella was clearly confused by Rose's cool behavior, but she managed to keep a

friendly smile on her face when she signed, *Nice to meet you too.* I translated for
her, but Rose paid little attention to me. She was already grabbing Emmett's hand,
telling him she wanted to dance. Apparently, Rose didn't intend to stick around and
make small talk, which was probably for the better.

"Are you coming?" she pushed when Emmett seemed hesitant to leave. He looked

at me and I told him to go ahead. There was no sense in the two of them hanging out
with us if Rose couldn't behave cordially toward Bella. She and I were going to have
a talk about that, but now wasn't the appropriate time or place to do that. With a
shrug of his shoulders, Emmett let Rose lead him away, offering an apologetic
glance over his shoulder before disappearing into the crowd.

- 140 -

The space between Bella and I fell momentarily quiet as we watched them leave. I

felt horrible about how Rose had acted, and I knew I had some explaining to do.
Inwardly, I berated myself. I had known Rose for several years now, and this type of
behavior was not atypical of her. I should have spoken with her beforehand, warning
her not to be rude.

I was looking down at Bella, trying to decide what to say, when an emotion I

recognized as resignation flashed across her face. When she realized I was looking,
she quickly recovered and smiled, but I knew her well enough by now to know that it
was forced, and I didn't have to think hard about why. Not knowing my history, or
lack thereof, with Tanya, Bella probably assumed that Rose was uncomfortable with
her deafness. It was the most logical conclusion for her to draw, even though it
wasn't entirely correct. I knew I needed to say something and quick, but I needed an
iPad to have this discussion and neither one of us had one. Instead, I awkwardly
attempted to use my hands, but Bella reached out, halting their movement with her
own and slowly shaking her head.

*Don't,* she signed. *Please don't try to explain. Let's just dance, okay?*

I was reluctant to do as Bella asked. I didn't want to dance. I wanted to talk, but

her expression made it clear that she didn't. Bella surprised me by slipping her hand
into mine and tugging softly, and when her eyes met mine, pleading with me to let it
go, I did. I couldn't deny her wishes any more than I could deny her touch. My skin
tingled where our hands were connected, and as she led me onto the dance floor, my
body reacted instinctively, pressing closer to hers as we pushed past people until we
were standing together in the center of it all. God, it felt so good… so fucking right
to be with her like that, and I wondered if maybe that's how you knew when you had
found the right person; you knew because it just felt right. Every cell in your body
itched to be close to that person. Without even realizing it, you oriented yourself to
them, watching them, following them, doing whatever you had to in order to remain
by their side. I had never felt that way about anyone before, but I felt that way now,
and I never wanted the feeling to end.

A new song started to play, and as the driving bass of the music resonated around

us, I skimmed my hands the length of Bella's arms, pulling her against my chest as
we moved in time with the music. I wasn't afraid that she would deny me. She was
the one who had asked me to dance, and in doing so, given me unspoken permission
to touch her. Maybe that's why she had asked me, I thought. Maybe she wanted…
needed me to touch her as much as I did. I closed my eyes tightly, overwhelmed by
my emotions and relishing in the feel of holding her close. Her heart beat solidly
under our joined hands, her head was thrown back against my shoulder and my face
was buried in the crook of her neck. It was heaven… the most amazing, intense

- 141 -

feeling ever, and it was enough to make me hard. This time, I didn't pull away. I
wanted her to feel me. I wanted her to know how much I desired her, how amazing I
thought she was and how beautiful she was to me.

If Bella minded, she didn't let it show. In fact, she actually pressed her body closer

to mine, which drove me wild with desire. I nearly bit her neck, instead stifling a
groan and biting down on my lower lip to distract myself, but if she kept moving
back and forth in a pendulum motion across my groin like that, I was going to
fucking lose it. Momentarily pulling my face from her neck, I reached up, gathering
the hair there and draping it over her left shoulder. Bending back down, I pressed
my cheek to hers, and she leaned into me, seeking the same skin to skin contact I
sought from her. Her cheek, flushed red with perspiration and perhaps desire,
pressed back against mine, and our joined arms wrapped tightly around her waist.
Nearly every part of our bodies was touching now, and I closed my eyes, letting
myself get lost in the music... get lost in the feel of Bella wrapped up in me.

As we danced, I couldn't help but marvel at how uninhibited she was. Her body

moved sensuously in nearly perfect time with the music, and I wondered, not for the
first time, if this wasn't an escape for her, a way to forget about the real world and
get lost in sensations that felt good. Maybe that feeling of freedom gave Bella the
courage she needed to submit to what was happening between us, because right at
that moment, she seemed entirely unconcerned about us being spotted together.
This thrilled me and left my body aching for more. I only hoped that when the music
stopped, the moment wouldn't pass. I hoped she realized that she couldn't fight her
feelings for me any more than I could fight mine. She had to feel it… that sense of
inevitability that hung thick in the air between us. With that thought, I pulled Bella
closer still, as close as I could get without lowering her to the ground and covering
her body with mine, and for the length of six songs, I held her in my arms,
pretending she belonged to me.

Bella and I had been dancing for nearly thirty minutes when I spun her around

and pointed in the direction of the bar. We were both hot, our skin slick with
perspiration, and despite the fact I wanted to remain coiled tight around her the
entire night through, I also really needed a beer. Bella seemed to agree, and she
willingly followed behind me, her hand clasped tightly in mine as we made our way
to the bar, but when we stepped up to two empty stools, she let it slip away. I tried
not to focus on the feel of my empty hand as I ordered us two Heinekens, but it was
hard not to. She was pulling away from me again, and I didn't know how much more
of this indecisiveness I could take. Still, I didn't want to ruin our evening by wearing
a sour expression, so I pushed my feelings of frustration aside and smiled at her as I
turned and handed her the beer.

- 142 -

*I think we lost Emmett and Rose,* Bella signed before taking a firm swig. I took a

pull of my own before shrugging my shoulders and signing back. Is that bad?

As much as I liked hanging out with Emmett, I could do without Rose and her

attitude. Besides, I much preferred spending time alone with Bella. Bella must have
caught on to my train of thought, because she blushed, shaking her head slowly
back and forth as I grinned at her and took another pull of my beer.

I forgot to tell you. I talked to Alice yesterday, and she told me she bought her

plane ticket. She'll be here for one week in March, I signed, making casual
conversation. Despite the fact we were sans iPads, I was managing to get my point
across just fine. Bella smiled widely at me, obviously just as excited as I was for
Alice's visit. I had told her a lot about Alice over the last several weeks, and she
seemed to be looking forward to meeting her.

*That's wonderful,* she signed back. *We'll have to take her to Clearwater Beach.*

I nodded in response and was just about to mention taking a trip to Silver Springs

to snorkel with the manatees when an obviously drunken frat boy standing near to
Bella reached around from behind her, clapping loudly beside her right ear. Bella
reacted instinctively to his nearness, spinning around in her seat and staring the
asshole down.

"See, look, she's not really deaf. She's faking it," the boy announced to his posse of

nefarious friends, and I nearly fucking lost it. This asshole was fucking with Bella,
and all I could think about was breaking his fucking hands. Shoving my stool out of
the way, I abruptly stood up, adrenaline pumping furiously through my veins. It was
feeding my anger, driving my decisions, and I fisted my right hand, pulling it back,
readying myself to throw a punch, only to be stopped short by Bella's hand landing
squarely on the center of my chest. Pinning me with deadly serious eyes, she shook
her head no, very clearly warning me to back off. I was breathing hard, my body
screaming at me to defend her, but though it took every ounce of self-control I could
muster, I did as she requested and lowered my hand to my side. However, that
didn't mean I would remain silent.

"She's not faking it, asshole," I spat, stepping forward until I was just inches away

from his face. I was pretty sure I spit on him, but I didn't fucking care. "She's deaf,
not blind," I continued, reminding him of a simple fact that Bella had reminded me
of only weeks before. "She could see your fucking hands. It's a little thing called
peripheral vision."

- 143 -

The idiot frat boy narrowed his eyes at me for a moment before his mouth twisted

up into a sneer. He was ready to fight too, but his friends who had been laughing
only moments before were now looking on at us nervously. One of them slapped
their hand on his shoulder.

"C'mon man, you had your fun. Just walk away," he encouraged, a nervous edge to

his voice. He obviously didn't want to get into any sort of trouble.

"I think you should listen to your friend," I warned lowly, the tone of my voice

making the seriousness of my statement clear. But the arrogant boy completely
disregarded me, sneering again and shrugging off his friend. His eyes met mine in
challenge and his stone-hearted stare made my blood run cold. Whoever this guy
was, he was a sick fuck. I saw it in the way his eyes flitted in Bella's direction, slowly
raking up and down her body, leering at her as he memorized her every curve. Then
he looked back at me, and in a surprise move that caught me completely off guard,
he slowly backed away. Before I knew it, he and his friends had slipped into the
crowd. I exhaled loudly, my chest still heaving and my hands still fisted tightly by my
side. Bella noted my distress and started rubbing soothing circles in the center of
my chest. I had forgotten her hand was there, but was grateful for the comfort in
now provided.

"Sorry," I murmured, looking down into her worried, brown eyes. I hadn't meant

to get so worked up, but there was no way I could sit by and let that asshole treat
Bella that way. I think Bella understood, because she continued to comfort me, her
hands trailing down my stomach and across to my side where she covered both of
my tightly fisted hands with hers, gently kneading my knuckles until I slowly started
to relax. When my fingers melted into Bella's, weaving together with hers, she
squeezed them once before letting go.

*Don't ever apologize for defending me,* she signed as I let my forehead drop

against hers. I held it there for a moment, breathing her in before signing back.

I can't believe he did that.

*These things happen more often than you think,* Bella signed with a sad sigh.

*Clapping your hands by a deaf person's ears is the oldest joke in the book. People
think it's funny. They think that if they get a reaction from you, it proves a person's
not deaf. But you have to pick and choose your fights, Edward, and believe me,
those boys were not worth your time,* Bella told me through a combination of signs
and finger-spelling.

Maybe not, but it doesn't make what they did, right. You shouldn't have to put up

- 144 -

with that. It's not fair for people to treat you that way, I replied.

Bella sighed, gently reaching out to squeeze my hand before pulling hers away.

*Remember, Edward. You're the exception, not the rule,* she signed, her eyes

drawn and serious, and as much as I wanted her to be wrong, I knew she was right.
Granted, most people weren't assholes like that boy, but I was certain that Bella had
put up with more than her fair share of teasing throughout the years. The thought
simultaneously made my blood boil and my heart constrict in my chest, and I
realized I was starting to feel way more for Bella than I was willing to admit. I was
falling hard for a girl I had never even kissed.

Suddenly, I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I wanted to take Bella home,

and possibly even kiss her, ending the night in a much better mood than I was in
right now.

Are you ready? I asked.

*To go home?*

Yeah. Let's get out of here.

I didn't have to ask Bella twice. She nodded at me, her eyes flickering to my hand

before returning to my face. Without even giving her a chance to think about it, I
took her hand in mine. I was scanning the dance floor, hoping to catch a glimpse of
Emmett to let him know we were leaving when the fucking bastard frat boy had the
nerve to approach us again. Bella noticeably stiffened, and I pulled her slightly
behind me, hell bent on keeping her away from this prick. I would be damned if I
would let him say something else to her.

"What the fuck do you want, asshole," I hissed when he was standing before me.

Sensing my anger, Bella stepped forward again. Pulling her hand from mine she

signed, *Let's just leave. Walk around him. He's not worth it, Edward.*

I gritted my teeth. I knew Bella was right, but it was hard for me to ignore

someone who was obviously trying to instigate me. It was also hard for me to ignore
the pleading look in Bella's eyes, so I took a deep breath, signing okay and reaching
out to take her hand again.

That's when the asshole spoke.

- 145 -

"Aw look," he slurred, sounding even drunker than he did before. "The pussy has

to play a game of Guesstures in order to communicate with his girlfriend. How
pathetic is that?"

I wasn't sure whether or not he said anything more, and it really didn't fucking

matter. One moment I was standing beside Bella, her hand locked tightly in mine,
and the next my fist was connecting with the asshole's face. I heard the sickening
crack of bone, and I was pretty sure I'd broken his nose with my first hit, but I didn't
fucking care. I laid into him again, hooking my right fist up and under his jaw while
simultaneously ducking to avoid his sloppy throw. I continued to hit him, not really
thinking about what I was doing, although somewhere in the back of my mind, I
knew what I was doing wasn't right. This guy hadn't attacked me... at least not
physically. But he'd verbally attacked Bella twice and that was enough for me.

Somewhere in the midst of the chaos, I registered voices yelling and screaming,

pleading with the two of us to calm the fuck down. Hands groped and grabbed,
trying to pry us apart, but it was no use. We continued to fight, and suddenly, I
became aware of a throbbing pain in my left eye. I realized with a bit of surprise that
the asshole had gotten in a good hit. I stumbled backward as he hit me again, this
time with a half-filled bottle of beer. The bottle connected with the side of my face,
and I cried out in pain as jagged glass cut deep into my skin. Someone shrieked from
somewhere beside me, begging us to stop, but I refused. Nobody was going to treat
Bella like that; I would make sure of it. I screwed back my arm and was about to hit
the guy in the gut when a voice rang out above all the rest. A voice I had never
heard before but one I recognized nonetheless.

"Edward, no!"

I was stunned - frozen in place and unable to move. She had spoken... Bella had

actually spoken my name. My eyes shot to the side, searching for her face, but I
couldn't find her in the sea of people that surrounded me. Then, catching me
completely off guard, two sets of hands landed squarely on my shoulders, yanking
me backwards. Emmett pulled my roughly against his chest and bent to yell in my
ear. His voice was deep and panicked and I knew immediately we were in trouble.

"We have to get the fuck out of here now, Edward. The cops are on the way."

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 146 -

Changes

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 13 – Changes

Emmett's panicked warning and the sound of Bella's voice jolted me back into

reality.

What the fuck was I doing?

I stared down at my bloodied hands and across the way at the asshole frat boy

who had incited my fury. He was being held back now by a group of his friends, but
his eyes told me he was still begging for a fight. I wanted to give him what he
wanted... to finish what I'd started, but the mention of cops made my blood run cold.

- 147 -

I couldn't afford to do this. I couldn't afford to get arrested for beating up some
dumb punk, no matter how much he deserved it. I had a future to think about and an
arrest record didn't fit into that picture.

"We've got to get out of here, now," Emmett snarled in my ear, growing

increasingly impatient with my hesitation.

"Where's Bella?" I huffed out, my breathing still labored, because I wasn't leaving

without her. I didn't give a fuck if the cops showed up or not. I wasn't leaving her
here with that guy. Not if my life depended on it.

I felt a hand take firm hold of my forearm, and I glanced down to where Bella's

fingers wrapped around me. My eyes flew to hers, relieved to see her, and I
grimaced when I saw the wild fear there. She was scared. Scared for me. Her hand
reached up, her fingers tentatively brushing gently across my bloody brow before
Emmett yanked me towards the back door.

"Come on," he commanded. "We'll leave this way. Rose brought my Jeep around.

Bella can drive you home in my car and I'll follow in yours."

"I didn't drive my car. Bella drove," I said, tugging Bella along beside me. She

gripped my hand tightly, afraid to let go.

"Fuck..." He hesitated for only a moment before muttering, "I'll have to drive her

car then. It doesn't matter. You just need to get out of here, now."

I didn't disagree. Emmett pushed harder through the burgeoning crowd.

Thankfully, people were swarming towards the front of the bar, towards where they
thought the action was. Word must not have circulated yet that the fight had already
broken up.

Bursting through the back door and out into the alley, Emmett whirled around and

looked Bella straight into the eye.

"Can you drive a stick?" he asked, motioning with his hand to indicate shifting

gears. Bella nodded in response, her eyes moving quickly between him and me. Just
then, Rose pulled up and jumped out of the Jeep, leaving the driver's side door open.
Bella clambered in, settling her hand on the gear shift while I jogged around to the
other side.

"I need your keys," Emmett said, poking his head inside the driver's side window

and catching Bella's attention. She reached into her purse and pulled them out, her

- 148 -

hands shaking as she placed them into Emmett's.

"Are you okay to drive?" he asked, noting Bella's anxiety. She took a deep breath

before looking Emmett straight in the eye and nodding yes. He glanced in my
direction then, and I hurriedly explained where Bella had parked her car before he
smacked the roof of his Jeep and Bella pulled away.

As Bella turned out of the alley, I could hear sirens approaching, and I breathed a

shaky sigh of relief, knowing we had narrowly escaped being caught. I wondered
briefly if the asshole frat boy would think to press charges. I had thrown the first
punch, and there were probably plenty of witnesses who could testify to that fact,
but most… if not all, could identify me solely by sight and not by name, so I figured I
was safe. Besides, if the kid had any sense, he had probably gotten out of there just
as quickly as I did.

It wasn't until we were safely on the highway that Bella turned to look at me. I

could see that she was still shaking, and I immediately reached over and placed my
hand on her thigh in an effort to try and help calm her. She exhaled a shaky sigh,
swallowing hard before glancing in my direction, her face shadowed over with deep
concern.

*Are you okay?*

Her right hand shook as she signed, and on impulse, I reached up and grabbed it.

Threading my fingers through hers, I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, trying my best
to reassure her that I was fine, but Bella didn't look too convinced. Her eyes
flickered to the side of my face, where I could already feel swelling starting to occur,
but she quickly looked away, focusing her attention back on the highway.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at my apartment. Bella had never been there

before, but I lived right across the street from campus, and it hadn't been hard to
direct her there. I had offered to drop Bella off at her apartment, but she had
refused, worried about me driving the distance to mine. I felt certain I could make it
on my own, but I didn't insist. If Bella felt better driving me home, I wouldn't argue
with her. Truth be told, I was a mess. My head was fucking killing me, and it
occurred to me that I might even need stitches. I wouldn't know until I got a good
look in the mirror, but I was hoping that whatever the damage was, butterfly
bandages would suffice.

I was nervous as hell as Bella and I stepped up to my apartment door. Bella was

tense - she had been ever since we left the club, and it didn't take much to figure out
that she was upset about the night's events. We hadn't exactly been in a position to

- 149 -

talk about what happened in the car, but I was sure we would be talking about it
here. After unlocking the door, we moved inside, and when I flipped on the foyer
light, I watched as Bella immediately began taking note of her surroundings. She
took everything in with practiced precision, paying particular attention to where all
the light switches were located. Walking past me into the living room, she took it
upon herself to flip the switch beside the television console. Track lighting situated
in the ceiling above lit up when she did, and Bella nodded to herself, storing this
little slip of information away for future use. None of this surprised me; switching
lights on and off was the best way for her to capture my attention, and I suspected
she scouted out switches in any new environment she entered for the first time.

Turning back in my direction, Bella grimaced when she caught sight of me

standing fully illuminated in the foyer light. I must really look bad, I thought to
myself as she hurried back to my side. Reaching up, she touched her fingers to the
side of my face, tracing a soft trail down my cheek before gently cupping my chin. I
couldn't help but close my eyes in response, sighing and leaning into her tender
touch - craving the comfort it provided.

*We need to get you cleaned up,* she signed after pulling her hand away. I

nodded, wanting so desperately for her to continue touching me but knowing that I
needed to attend to my face. First things first, I needed some fucking ibuprofen.
Taking Bella by the hand, I led her through the apartment, pausing just outside my
bathroom door. I held up a single finger, asking her to wait a minute while I
gathered the necessary first aid supplies and brought them into the living room.
Bella nodded in understanding, and I slipped inside the bathroom.

Once inside, I shut the door, pausing a moment to quickly assess my injuries. I

grimaced as I surveyed myself in the mirror, realizing the asshole frat boy had done
more damage than I'd expected. I would definitely have a black eye tomorrow, no
doubt about that, and a laceration above my right cheek bone would require several
butterfly bandages. There were several other less prominent cuts and contusions
which all together didn't paint a pretty picture, but all in all, it definitely could have
been worse. I got off relatively easy considering the boy could have broken my nose.
Thankfully, he had missed that part of my face entirely. It also didn't appear as if I
would need any stitches, which was a blessing unto itself. Going to a hospital might
call attention to the fight, and I sure as hell didn't need that.

I decided to clean up a little before letting Bella help me treat my wounds. I took a

moment to carefully wash the dried blood from my face before pulling my
blood-stained shirt over my head. That proved to be a difficult and awkward task,
and I groaned in pain as the fabric of the shirt pulled against the laceration on my
cheek. I decided to forgo putting on another shirt after that. It made no sense,

- 150 -

seeing as that I slept shirtless anyway. Next, I stripped off my jeans. Looking around
the bathroom floor, I spied the cargo shorts I had slept in the night before and
slipped them on before popping 800mg of Motrin into my mouth and swallowing
them down with a big swig of water. Deciding I had done all that I could reasonably
do in order to clean myself up, I grabbed some antibiotic ointment and bandages
and headed back into the hall.

The hall was empty, and my eyes immediately flickered to the living room where I

assumed Bella would be, but she wasn't there. I momentarily panicked when I didn't
see her, overcome with the sudden and irrational fear that she had decided to leave.
I knew that I had lost control in the bar tonight, and even if I was defending Bella, I
wouldn't have been surprised if it was too much for her to handle. It was too much
for me to handle. I didn't normally act like that. I considered myself to be a pretty
reasonable guy, but I had completely lost my mind when that guy made fun of Bella
for the second time.

I was just about to grab my phone and text Bella when a flash of movement from

inside my room caught my eye. Curious, I peeked around the partially closed door,
inhaling sharply when I saw Bella hunched over my desk. She was turned away from
me, but even so, I could clearly make out the shape of a DVD case in her hand. I
swallowed hard. That could only mean one thing; Bella had stumbled upon my
collection of Baby Signing Times DVDs.

Suddenly, I felt very embarrassed. I had never intended for Bella to see those

DVDs, let alone the plethora of books on the hearing impaired scattered haphazardly
about my desk. I wondered if it would overwhelm her, or scare her away. One thing
was certain, if she didn't know I was committed to becoming a part of her world
before, she knew now. Tossing the forgotten first aid supplies to the side, I reached
my hand out beside me, feeling along the wall for the light switch. I turned it off and
on one time before letting my hand drop back by my side. Bella turned to face me in
response, her eyes briefly flickering to my bare chest before slowing rising to meet
mine.

*What's this?* she signed, slowly holding up the DVD in her hand, and I knew that

this was it.

This was the moment in which my relationship with Bella would change forever. I

could feel it in every part of who I was, right down through the thick of my skin, and
if Bella's quick and shallow breaths were any indication, she felt it too. I took a small
step forward, all the while Bella watching me, regarding me cautiously out of eyes
heavy with a look I knew well. It was a yearning for something just out of reach,
something she thought she could never have but was finally beginning to realize she

- 151 -

could. Bella could have me. She already had me. She'd had me from the moment
we'd first met.

I want to be with you, I signed, my eyes never leaving hers as I communicated my

deepest and most sincere feelings, and my words needed no further explanation. It
was clear what I wanted and Bella sighed, an act that caused her slight frame to
shudder. Slowly, she raised her right hand to her chest where she formed the letter
"e", shaking it gently in front of her heart.

*Edward.*

My name - she was signing my name, and in that moment I was reminded that she

had actually spoken my name in the club earlier tonight, but right now, that was of
little concern to me. I took another step forward, bringing us closer together, close
enough so that Bella could read my lips.

"What does that mean?" I whispered, wanting so badly to know.

Bella seemed surprised by my question, as if she hadn't even realized she had

signed my name. Glancing down to where her hand hovered over her heart, her
cheeks bloomed in a beautiful shade of red. She tried to look away, but I wouldn't let
her. Waving my hand in front of her, I caught her attention, and she cast a tentative
glance back in my direction.

Please, I signed, rotating my open palm in a clockwise motion over my heart. Bella

bit down on her lower lip, struggling with whether or not to answer me.

It's okay. You can trust me, I signed, hoping my unwavering gaze would convey

the sincerity of my words. Bella hesitated for only a moment before nodding slowly,
and I swallowed thickly, waiting with baited breath for her to answer…

*Your sign name... it means...* Bella exhaled a slow, soft breath, looking me

directly in the eye. *You've taken my heart, Edward. You've shaken it up,* she said,
her hands trembling as she signed. *Whenever you are around, it beats wildly in my
chest.*

I took one step closer.

You've taken mine too, I replied, assuring her that we were in this together.

At my words, Bella took a step in my direction.

- 152 -

*Things are changing,* she signed when she was standing right before me, and I

wanted to reach out and pull her into my arms, telling her there was no use in
fighting it, but Bella was a very practical girl; she wouldn't be swayed by emotion
alone.

We can make this work, I signed. I know you're scared, but we can make this

work.

I took a chance then, reaching out to take her hand. My fingers grazed hers and

she gripped them, causing my breath to catch in the back of my throat. I was so
fucking nervous. I wanted to do the right thing… say the right thing. I didn't want
Bella to turn me away. Then again, if she felt anything like I did, she wouldn't be
able to.

*This will be difficult. You know this,* Bella signed, making sure I understood

precisely what I was saying.

I understood perfectly well, and it didn't change a thing.

I tugged on Bella's hand, pulling her closer until she was just a hair's breath away.

I know.

*If this ends badly...*

"It won't," I murmured while gently extricating my hand from Bella's. I allowed

myself the luxury of skimming it up her arm and into her hair then, making sure to
keep my other hand free to sign. Bella sighed in response, her body unwittingly
reacting to my touch by leaning into me, seeking the warmth and reassurance I
provided. She wanted me to touch her, needed it just as much as I did; I could feel it
more strongly now than ever before.

Don't talk, just feel, I signed, taking one final step forward and closing the

remaining space between us. I lowered my head then, never hesitating as I slowly,
softly, ghosted my lips across Bella's. At first she held still, her body motionless as
my lips skimmed across hers, but then her lips, so soft and supple, started moving
tentatively against mine, and I groaned, overwhelmed by the sensation. I was
consumed by feelings of want and desire, yet at the same time humbled by the
reverence I felt for this beautiful woman standing before me. She was fucking
perfect, in every sense of the word, and perhaps now she would finally be mine.

The thought caused me to kiss Bella more forcefully, and she responded in kind,

- 153 -

taking my lower lip between hers and sucking softly. I exhaled a deep, shaky sigh,
winding my hand around her hair and tilting her head to the side so that I could kiss
her more soundly. Moments passed, and the only sounds to be heard were the soft
sighs and quiet moans of two people who had finally given in to the inevitable, and
though my body was coiled tight in anticipation, wanting more, more, more, I did my
best not to rush things. I was determined to take this slow. I wanted to show Bella
what she meant to me, that I would never hurt her and that she was the only one for
me, despite the obstacles we might face.

Pulling my mouth from her hers, I kissed along the smooth skin of her jaw,

downward towards her neck where I peppered the valley connecting chin and chest
with tiny, soft kisses. Bella whimpered in response, her hand reaching out to find
purchase in my hair, and to me, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. It rung
in my ears like a choir of bells and reminded me once again of the sound of my name
falling from her lips.

Bella had said my name. She'd actually said my name.

As distracted as I was by the magnificent curve of her neck, I forced myself to pull

back at that thought. Bella whimpered in protest, but relaxed when I cradled her
face between both of my hands.

"You said my name," I said, my voice filled with wonder and awe, and I knew that

Bella had understood what I said by the rose colored blush that worked its way
across her face.

*I've been practicing,* she signed in response, her eyes part nervous, part proud,

and I couldn't for the life of me understand why she would be nervous. Not wanting
her to feel this way, I gently brushed the pads of my thumbs across her cheekbones
in what I hoped was a reassuring gesture.

"It was beautiful... perfect," I murmured, my eyes focused intently on hers, and my

words caused Bella to blush again. "Could you... would you say it again?" I asked,
hopeful that she would. Bella's chest rose and fell in a deep sigh, and I could tell
that she wasn't sure. Whether it was from embarrassment or not, I didn't know, but I
did know that I never wanted her to feel like she couldn't share all of whom she was
with me. In an effort to encourage her, I briefly lowered my lips to hers, kissing her
softly and trying my hardest to reassure her with my touch. It must have worked,
because when I pulled back, Bella's lips pulled up in a tentative smile before forming
the single, most perfect word in the world…

"Ehhhhdwaaard"

- 154 -

I inhaled sharply, an uncontainable grin spreading across my face as I dipped

down to quickly kiss her lips. Bella giggled - her entire face lighting up at my
delight.

"Say it again," I encouraged her, and her smile widened.

"Edward"

"Again..."

"Edward"

This time when I kissed her, I didn't stop. I couldn't. My hands pushed past her

cheeks and into her hair, winding and twisting and securing her to me. Bella did the
same, taking care not to touch where I was hurt, and I groaned when she pulled me
closer. This kiss was different from our first - stronger, more confident and laced
with unquestionable desire. I wanted Bella so badly and she clearly wanted me. We
were through denying our attraction, our need, and I had never been so grateful.
Moving from her lips to her neck, I kissed across to her ear.

"You're beautiful," I whispered over and over again, even though I knew she

couldn't hear me. It didn't matter. I'd say it anyway. For me.

It was Bella who pulled away several moments later, her fingers gently tracing

across my battered face.

*We need to fix you up,* she signed, her face full of tenderness and concern, and

although she was probably right, I didn't want to.

Now that I knew what it was like to be close to Bella – to touch her, hold her and

kiss her, I wasn't sure I could stop. Not now… not yet. So I shook my head no, telling
her that I was fine and it could wait until tomorrow, but she ignored me, walking
past me to where I'd thrown the first aid supplies on the floor. She picked up the box
of bandages and an alcohol wipe, and beckoned me towards the bed where we sat
down together side by side. With tender touches and care, Bella quickly fixed me up,
cleansing my wounds before gently applying the butterfly bandages. Soon she was
through, and I reached out my hand, taking hers in mine and leading her toward my
bedroom door. I pulled it closed, pausing for a moment before switching off the
light.

Is this okay? I asked once our eyes had a chance to adjust to the darkness, and

Bella nodded her head. There was no hesitation on her part, which caused my heart

- 155 -

to soar in my chest. Tugging her over to my bed, we slowly lay down together,
situating ourselves underneath the blankets on our sides. Bella's hands peeked out
from beneath, soon finding their way into my hair where she scratched and kneaded
as her lips ghosted across my face. My eyelids fluttered closed as she kissed each
and every bruise, and I sighed in contentment, pulling her closer.

I've waited for this for so long, I signed, the moonlight filtering in through the

window enabling us to communicate in the dark, and before she had a chance to
respond, I captured her lips with mine, kissing her slowly, softly, tenderly. Our
tongues eventually tangled, our kisses becoming more heated, and I let myself get
lost in the sensation of being with a woman I felt more deeply about than I could
have ever imagined. My body tingled and buzzed as we kissed each other, the
euphoria of being with Bella overshadowing everything else that had happened that
night. Soon we grew tired, our kisses punctuated by lazy, satisfied yawns, and after
awhile, I fell asleep, holding what was rapidly becoming the most important thing in
my world securely in my arms. I only hoped this happiness, so fragile and so new,
had the strength and ability to last.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 156 -

Terms and Conditions

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 14 - Terms and Conditions

I never understood the desire to wake up with someone in my arms, to feel the

soft curves of a woman's body pressed against my own. The need to feel connected
to someone like that all out baffled me; I had never craved that type of intimacy
before. As crass as it sounds, prior to Bella, when I was with a woman it was only for
the sex.

This morning was different. I woke up to the most amazing feelings ever... the feel

of Bella's legs tangled together with mine, the feel of her soft breath tickling my
chest, the feel of her hand resting gently in the crook of my neck. They were the

- 157 -

most wonderful sensations in the world, and I literally pinched myself, thinking it
had to be a dream. But it wasn't. I clearly remembered kissing Bella the night
before, eventually leading her to my bed where we slept together the whole night
through. Other parts of me remembered it too, causing me to pull away from her
just a bit so as not to make her feel uncomfortable. Bella and I may have finally
moved forward in our relationship, but we weren't going anywhere in a rush. We
needed to take things slow. I knew that. Bella knew that. Honestly, I already felt as
if I had won the lottery. Holding her in my arms was as close to perfect as things
could get.

Not wanting to get up just yet, I laid in bed with Bella for several long minutes,

watching her sleep while gently pulling my fingers through her long, soft hair. I had
dreamt of doing this nearly every night since I met her, and now that I was finally
able to touch her like that, I found I couldn't stop. It was as close to a compulsion as
I had ever experienced… my need to be physically connected to Bella in every
manner possible, and it was exhilarating, thrilling and humbling all at once.

As I lay there, my thoughts drifted to the night before; if the splitting headache I

had wasn't reminder enough of the events that had taken place, the butterfly
bandages Bella had so tenderly put in place were. They were tugging at my cheek
now, and I grumbled in annoyance as I scratched around their edges. Thanks to the
ibuprofen I had taken, the swelling was going down, but I knew that I couldn't go
into the hospital today or tomorrow looking like this. I wasn't happy about that. I
volunteered twenty hours a week at the hospital, all on the weekends, and it
wouldn't look good for me to miss my scheduled shifts. Unfortunately, I didn't see
that I had much of a choice. If I volunteered at the hospital today, there would be
too many questions – ones I couldn't provide answers for.

I tried not to wake Bella as I gently extricated my arm from around her waist,

needing to call the hospital before it got too late. Alas, I wasn't very successful, and
she shifted in my arms, stretching like a contented cat before turning onto her back
and smiling softly up at me. I looked down at her, and God, she took my breath
away. Even at the break of day, after one hell of a night out, she was stunning. Her
tousled hair splayed wildly about was sexy as fuck, and her sleepy eyes, regarding
me so tenderly, caused me to swallow back a sigh.

You're beautiful, I signed, staring down at her in wonder. Bella sighed

contentedly, reaching up to cup my face in the palm of her hand.

"Good morning," I murmured, turning to kiss her sweet skin.

*Good morning.*

- 158 -

Bella touched the fingers of her right hand to her chin, pulling them forward in

front of her before dropping her arm perpendicular to her body and slowly raising it
in an arc. She had to improvise the sign for morning since her left arm was pinned
between us, but I understood her perfectly.

"It's a perfect morning," I said, not even trying to contain my grin. I bent over and

placed a soft kiss on Bella's lips, but before I could take it any further, she wiggled
out from underneath me, blushing while shaking the letter "t" in front of her. I
pouted, not wanting her to leave my side, but I pulled back the covers anyway,
releasing her to use the bathroom. Upon seeing my expression, Bella laughed.
Leaning over, she softly kissed my lips, teasing my frown into a smile.

*I'll be right back. I promise,* she signed with a smile before slipping out of bed,

and I couldn't help but smile after her.

While Bella was in the bathroom, I took a moment to call the hospital. The

volunteer coordinator was disappointed to learn that I would be absent from work
all weekend long, but I told her that it couldn't be helped. I assured her that I would
be in the following weekend, and I promised to make up my missed hours by taking
on extra shifts in the upcoming weeks. I knew this wouldn't be easy, as my time was
already stretched thin, but I didn't have much of a choice.

Bella appeared in the threshold to my doorway not long after I hung up. Her hair

was freshly brushed, and I really wanted her to crawl back under the covers with me
so that I could kiss her senseless, but when her pensive gaze met mine, I knew that
wasn't going to happen.

*Where is your iPad?* she asked, signaling me that it was time to talk. I didn't

have to think twice about what.

I tried not to let my anxiety show as I trod over to my desk and pulled my iPad

from my backpack, but it was difficult not to. I was nervous that Bella was upset
with me for what happened last night, even though her actions up until this point
hadn't indicated that she was. Walking back towards where she stood, I grabbed
Bella's hand and lead her back to bed, climbing in beside her and settling against
her side. I exhaled a small sigh of relief when she snuggled closer. If she was upset
with me, at least she wasn't pushing me away. This definitely helped to settle my
nerves. Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I kissed her temple as she situated
the iPad comfortably in her lap. Soon she was typing away, her first question to the
point and not unexpected.

*What happened last night?*

- 159 -

Bella slid the iPad into my lap, and I reluctantly removed my arm from around her

shoulder to respond.

I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say. I know that I completely

overreacted, but when that guy started making fun of you, I snapped. For it
to happen once was one thing. But I couldn't handle it the second time
around.

I wrapped my arm back around Bella, wanting to feel close to her as she read my

words. When she finished, she looked up at me.

*You hit him first,* she signed, though thankfully, there didn't seem to be any sign

of judgment on her face.

I know, I replied, hanging my head.

Even though the asshole needed to be put in his place, I did feel guilty for

throwing the first punch. The thing is I wasn't normally prone to violence, but I was
wound so tight, my instinct to defend Bella almost primal in nature… something that
I couldn't deny, even when she had begged me to walk away. I just couldn't. But that
didn't make what I did right, and I knew it.

Bella noted my brooding expression and gently skimmed her palm along the edge

of my wounded cheek, catching my attention. Her eyes, full of sympathy and
understanding, held mine for a beat before focusing back on the iPad.

*I know what you were doing, Green Eyes, and I appreciate that you

wanted to defend me. Believe me; I understand better than anybody the
desire to lash out against people like that, but you really scared me last
night. You're hurt now... because of me, and I don't like that.*

My head snapped up at Bella's words, surprised by what she had written.

"This isn't your fault," I asserted, confused by how she could feel that way, but

Bella obviously disagreed. Shaking her head sadly she wrote, *Indirectly, yes it
is.*

How can you say that? I signed back, slightly irritated. The notion that this was in

any way her fault was completely ludicrous, and I refused to pretend otherwise.

*Because if you weren't with me last night, none of this would have

happened.*

- 160 -

Bella looked up at me then, her strong and steady gaze meeting mine, and I could

see that she was entirely convinced of her own words. This worried me, as did the
unspoken suggestion that if we weren't together, these types of situations could be
avoided. But Bella was wrong. It wasn't just her I would defend; I would stand up for
anyone in her situation. Wrong is wrong, no matter who is involved. I pulled the iPad
back into my lap, a bit more roughly than necessary, but I refused to let her take
responsibility for something that wasn't her fault.

Let's not go there, Bella. Okay? Because regardless of whom we are to

each other, I would have defended you last night. I could never stand by and
watch someone treat you or anybody else so disrespectfully. Our relationship
has nothing to do with how I reacted.

Bella studied me thoughtfully for a moment, her brown eyes holding mine in an

intense gaze before slowly softening. When she leaned forward and brushed her lips
against mine, I kissed her back, slipping my hand behind her head and gently
stroking her cheek with my thumb. She pulled away, and I rested my forehead
against hers, continuing to caress her soft skin.

*I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that our relationship is solely

responsible for what happened. I know that's not the case. I just hate that
you're hurt, Edward, all because someone made a couple of tactless
comments. I just wish that you wouldn't have hit him is all.*

When Bella looked up at me, I could see that her feelings were sincere. She wasn't

judging me for my actions, but she wasn't pleased by them either. This bothered me
more than it should have. Even though I knew my actions were over the top, I didn't
like how Bella seemed to minimize what happened. The asshole hadn't just made a
couple of "tactless" comments. And his comments weren't directed solely at Bella…

Just out of curiosity, what do you think I should have done? Simply stand

by and let that asshole make fun of you... of us? Because it wasn't just you
he offended, Bella, he offended me too.

*I understand that, but do you always go around hitting everybody who

offends you?*

Bella's response was unexpected, and when I looked into her eyes, trying to gauge

her feelings, I was somewhat taken aback by what I saw there. Her gaze was hard
and firm and I felt myself flush with both anger and confusion. Whose side was she
on, anyway? Upon seeing my expression, Bella sighed, closing her eyes and shaking
her head in frustration. Before I had a chance to respond to what she'd written, she

- 161 -

took the iPad back.

*I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I'm not trying to point fingers here,

Edward. Believe me when I say that I appreciate your desire to defend me.
Knowing you care so much means everything to me. But if we're going to
attempt to be together, you're going to have to understand something.
There will be times when I will be teased. There will be times when people
will make rude and ignorant comments. It happened last night and it will
happen again. I may not like it, you may not like it, but there's not much we
can do about it, so we have to try our best just to ignore it.*

Bella pushed the iPad back in my direction, but if anything, after reading what she

had written, I was even more irritated than I was before.

So you're saying that if it was up to you, you wouldn't have said anything

to that guy? Nothing at all? You would have just let him get away with
treating you like that?

Bella didn't hesitate one moment in her response.

*That's exactly what I'm saying. Honestly, Edward, and I mean no

disrespect, but if you walked a mile in my shoes, you'd understand. I've said
this before and I'll say it again. Some fights just aren't worth fighting.*

I looked over at Bella then, and she looked up at me, and just like last night, a

resigned expression clouded her beautiful face. It fucking killed me to see her
looking like that. For someone so strong and so confident, at times Bella seemed so
powerless… powerless to stand up against something that was clearly wrong.
Reaching out, I pulled my fingers through the hair that hung by the side of her face.
I didn't want to fight with her, especially not now, only a few short hours after finally
giving in to our feelings. Bella must have felt the same way, because she snuggled
closer into my side, sighing as I bent to kiss her temple.

I really am sorry, I signed after a moment's time. I just didn't like watching him

make fun of you. It hurt me.

*I didn't like watching you fight with him. It scared me,* Bella signed in response,

and looking deep into her eyes, I could that see she was being honest. Even now, her
face was plagued by worry and remorse, her eyes constantly examining my battered
face. Her fingers came up, gently tracing the outer rim of my swollen eye, and I
honestly thought she might cry.

- 162 -

*No more fighting,* she signed a moment later. *I won't be the cause of you

getting hurt. Okay?*

I gritted my teeth, not wanting to lie to Bella, but not wanting to make a promise

that I couldn't keep either, because I knew that if someone made fun of her again, I
would be hard pressed not to say something.

*Edward,* she warned, noting my hesitation.

I'll try, I finally offered, but it seemed that that wasn't good enough. Bella

narrowed her eyes at me, and while they weren't angry, behind them laid an
unmistakable hint of warning.

*You don't need to fight my fights. I can take care of myself.*

Bella's gaze was steady and firm and I knew that on this matter, there would be no

compromise. Reluctantly, I nodded my head, and she nodded back, relaxing against
me and kissing my chest, bringing the conversation to a close… for now, anyway. My
hand rubbed soothingly up and down her arm, and soon the quiet of the early
morning and the comfort of lying in one another's arms lulled us both back to sleep.

I awoke a little while later to the feel of Bella's forefinger tracing lazy designs on

my chest and the sight of her sleepy eyes gazing thoughtfully up at me. I yawned,
still exhausted from the night before. The cat nap had helped to take the edge off,
but it was a fitful sleep for me. Even though Bella and I had discussed what
happened in the club the night before, I was keenly aware of the fact that we had
yet to discuss another important matter, namely, what happened between us. We'd
kissed each other for the first time, and she was currently lying in bed beside me,
wrapped up tight in my arms. I could only assume that meant we were finally a
couple, but I needed reassurance that this was indeed the case. I needed to know
that what happened last night wasn't a onetime event; I needed to know she was
finally mine.

"Hi," I whispered, reaching out to trace a line with my finger down the side of her

face. She smiled softly, her eyelids fluttering closed when I bent to kiss her
forehead. When she opened them again, she sighed.

*I wish we could lie here all day long,* she signed, and her words filled me with

such pleasure and relief, I had to close my eyes to process the feelings. Her words
were exactly what I wanted… needed to hear. I felt Bella tap me gently on my
shoulder, and I opened my eyes, only to see her looking worriedly up at me.

- 163 -

*Is everything okay?* she asked.

"Yes," I assured her with a kiss to the forehead. Everything is better than okay. I

was just worried…

Bella crinkled her brows in confusion, and I couldn't resist leaning in to kiss the

tiny creases that formed in the corners of her eyes.

*About what?*

I hesitated a moment before murmuring, "us."

Bella seemed surprised, so I clarified.

Last night was perfect… everything I've wanted for so long. But things are often

different by the light of day…

*Do you regret what happened?* Bella asked, her eyes growing wide with

concern, and I couldn't place my lips on hers fast enough, reassuring her that was
definitely not the case.

No, I shook my head upon pulling away. But I wondered if you might…

Bella reached out, her fingers leaving a hot trail along the path she traced across

my lower lip.

*I could never regret kissing you,* she signed, her eyes meeting mine in a

lingering gaze that left no doubt she was being sincere. I nodded, exhaling a deep
sigh of relief.

You're not going anywhere, are you? I asked, but I knew the answer to that

question before I even asked. I could see that Bella was just as wrapped up in this as
I was, and she could never just walk away. Thing had changed for the both of us last
night; there would be no going back to what we were before.

*No*, she said, shaking her head.

So where do we go from here?

It was a question that had to be asked. There was a lot to consider here, namely

the fact that Bella was my teacher and I was her student. We needed to decide how
to handle that. Bella's face grew pensive for a moment as she sorted through her

- 164 -

thoughts.

*If it's okay with you, I'd like to carry on as we are, at least until I speak with my

advisor,* she finally signed, and I nodded my head in agreement. *We have to
continue to be discrete,* she added, her eyes shifting away from mine as she signed,
*I can't let what happened last night happen again…*

Bella's words caused me to sigh in frustration.

I told you that wasn't your fault, I signed, but Bella's hands closed over mine

before I could sign anything more.

*That's not what I'm talking about. I let myself get carried away with you in public

when I shouldn't have. All the touching, the hand-holding...*

"Oh," I murmured before sheepishly adding, "I like holding your hand." I reached

out and took hers in mine then, bringing it to my lips where I placed a single soft
kiss to the smooth skin of her knuckles. Bella's breath quickened at my touch, and I
don't think she had any idea what that did to me.

*I do too,* she admitted, her shy smile making her all the more irresistible. *But

until I can get this straightened out with my advisor, I think we should stick to what
we were doing before.*

I leaned in, kissing Bella's lips before resting my forehead against hers.

Whatever you feel is best. All I want is to be able to see you… and touch you, and

kiss you…

I smiled as I captured Bella's lips in a playful kiss, and she giggled, kissing me

back with fire.

*Thank you,* she signed upon pulling away, her right hand weaving into my hair

and kneading softly as her grateful brown eyes met mine. *I'll speak with Shelly as
soon as possible, okay?*

Okay, I signed in agreement, and it seemed that at least for the time being, the

matter was settled.

After our talk, Bella put the iPad to the side and snuggled against me. We lay

together for awhile, my hand absently stroking the length of her arm while hers
roamed my chest, but soon she sat up, announcing that she needed to go home.

- 165 -

Bella had some studying to do, and since I wasn't going to the hospital today, I
decided to dedicate several hours to piano practice.

It was after eleven when we finally emerged from my room, and I scanned the

apartment for Emmett, but apparently he wasn't awake yet. I thought it was strange
that I hadn't heard from him since last night, but when I retrieved my phone from
the pocket of my jeans, I understood why. Emmett had actually called and texted
several times last night, but I must have inadvertently switched my ringer off, so I
didn't know. Thankfully, he had thought to set Bella's keys on the kitchen counter,
and I grabbed them on our way out the door.

When we arrived at Bella's apartment, I had a hard time saying goodbye. I

lingered on her doorstep, dropping mostly chaste kisses on her lips before asking if
she wanted to meet up for dinner later on. She said that she would text me, and with
a final kiss and a small wave goodbye, I reluctantly left her side. If it were up to me,
I would have spent the entire day with Bella, but unfortunately, we both had
obligations that needed attending to, so I would have to settle for spending time
together with her later.

Emmett was awake and eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes on the couch when I

walked back through my apartment door. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until
my stomach growled loudly at the sight of food, and I helped myself to my own bowl
of cereal before settling into the Lazy Boy across from him.

"Dude, what happened to you last night?" Emmett asked between bites of cereal,

his voice tinged with annoyance. "I must have called you seventeen times..."

"I know," I grimaced, feeling guilty about that. "I didn't realize the ringer was off."

Emmett had a hard time controlling the smirk that crept across his face.

"Are you sure it didn't have anything to do with entertaining a certain lady friend

of yours?" he teased and damn it if my face didn't turn beet red.

"How do you know she was even here?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him in

suspicion.

"I checked on you, of course," Emmett scoffed. "What type of a friend do you think

I am, anyway? I knocked on your door when I got home, and when you didn't answer
I opened it on my own. I wanted to make sure you were okay. From the looks of it,
you were just fine." Emmett waggled his eyebrows at me and I tossed a soggy
Frosted Flake in his direction.

- 166 -

"Shut up. I've told you before, it's not like that. I really care about her." My voice

grew quiet as I spoke, and Emmett's face immediately sobered, all teasing pushed
aside.

"I know you do," he said, leveling serious eyes on mine. "And you very nearly got

yourself arrested because of it."

I groaned at Emmett's words, once again reminded of last night's fiasco. Would I

ever live my momentary lapse in judgment down? I was beginning to think I
wouldn't.

"What were you thinking?" he pressed a moment later. "Seriously, man, you were

two seconds away from landing your ass in jail."

"I wasn't thinking," I said, shaking my head. "I overreacted. I know this. Bella and

I have already talked about it, and I'm going to try and reign in my temper."

"That would be advisable," Emmett said in all seriousness.

"I know, I know," I said with a shake of my head. "It's just… you have no idea how

hard it was for me to see Bella treated like that. I mean, imagine if that was Rose.
What would you have done?"

Emmett didn't hesitate in the slightest before offering me his response.

"I would have ripped his fucking head off," he half-laughed. Of course, neither one

of us found any part of this situation funny, but Emmett spoke the truth. It was
almost instinctual... the need to protect someone you cared about. I almost hadn't
been able to control myself last night. I'd never really felt that way before, as if I was
walking a thin line, teetering on the edge of a dangerous precipice. But I felt that
way now.

"I think I might be screwed," I sighed in resignation. I went to take another bite of

my cereal, but I realized I wasn't hungry anymore. I set the bowl aside and settled
back into the Lazy Boy.

"Why do you say that?"

Apparently Emmett's appetite wasn't affected in the least because he continued to

inhale his cereal.

"I don't know," I said, running my hand through my hair in frustration. "I guess I

- 167 -

never considered that Bella and I would be dealing with this type of thing. We're
adults for Christ's sake. What the fuck was that guy thinking, anyway? I can
understand teasing in grade school, but in college? And apparently it happens a lot.
Bella's fairly immune to it, so she says, but Jesus, it's got to hurt."

"I can only imagine," Emmett agreed.

"Bella said this is going to be hard," I absently added. "So I guess this is our first

test."

"This?" Emmett wondered, furrowing his brows.

"Her and me as a couple," I clarified, and he nodded in understanding.

"So you're together now…"

"Yeah, we are."

"Well it's definitely going to present some unique challenges," Emmett admitted,

"but if you really care about each other, you should be able to overcome those
challenges, right?"

"I hope so," I sighed. "I guess it'll just take time to adjust to living in each other's

worlds," I said, and while I'd thought about this ad nauseum over the last several
months, it wasn't until now that I felt the weight of what lay before Bella and I rest
firmly on my shoulders. But Bella was worth it. She was worth the effort. She had
said earlier that some fights weren't worth fighting, but some definitely were. She
was worth fighting for.

"You know, just in case you were wondering, I did a little asking around, and I

figured out who that guy was," Emmett said a few moments later, settling back
down on the couch after carrying his empty bowl into the kitchen.

"You did?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah... I did. His name is James. He's a sophomore at USF. Turns out that Rosie

recognized him. He dates some girl named Victoria, who happens to be in the same
sorority as Tanya."

"Apparently, he's a total ass," Emmett continued. "Rosie says that Vicky always

has a lot of unexplainable bruises…"

- 168 -

"Jesus," I said, wincing at his words. "He sounds like a real class act."

"Yeah, he's an asshole all right. Lucky for you, he split last night. The cops got

there moments after you left, but you were both gone. You did a number on his nose,
though. He could have pressed charges, Edward."

"I know," I said, not really needing any reminder of what could have happened.

"Do me a favor…"

"What's that?"

"If you happen to cross paths with him again, just walk away. Seriously, Edward, I

don't trust him, and he's definitely not worth getting into another fight over."

Again, Bella's words came back to me. Some fights aren't worth fighting.

In James' case, I was beginning to think she was right.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

Next Update: Two weeks. Sorry, but I have a lot going on over the next several

weeks, and there is some editing that needs to be done to Chaper 15 before it will be
ready to post.

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to aerobee82. I can't say enough about what an

awesome person she is, and I am so lucky to count her as my pre-reader and, most
importantly, my friend. Go check out her story, Antiques Roadshow. It's a welcome
change to your typical canon Vampward.

- 169 -

Forward Moving Motion

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 15 - Forward Moving Motion

I could not imagine a happier time in my life.

It had been two weeks since Bella and I finally gave in to our feelings for each

other, and we had been nearly inseparable ever since- off campus, at her apartment,
anyway. Today, I was crossing my fingers that would all change. Bella was currently
in a meeting with her faculty advisor, informing Shelly about our relationship.

I sat on the first floor of the library, attempting to complete my biology readings

while waiting for Bella to arrive, but I wasn't getting much done. I was anxious for

- 170 -

her meeting to be over with; I wanted to know the final outcome. I wasn't exactly
worried about Shelly's reaction. I'd done some research of my own over the past
couple of weeks, and I had discovered that technically, the university couldn't
prevent a graduate teaching assistant from engaging in a relationship with a
student. Bella was inclined to agree, but she still felt as if the best course of action
would be to inform her advisor that we were dating. If something were to come up,
she didn't want Shelly to be caught off guard. I respected her decision, wanting only
to do whatever made Bella comfortable. A comfortable Bella was a happy Bella, and
in my book, that's all that mattered.

Glancing out the window for the hundredth time that hour, I was able to make out

two figures in the distance, walking in the direction of the library. They were easily
identifiable as Bella and Jacob, and I frowned at the sight, not liking the fact that he
was walking alongside her. Despite the fact that Jacob and Bella were just friends,
his presence put me on edge, making me feel as if I had to compete for Bella's
affections, even though she had never once given me any reason to feel that way.
Heaving a deep sigh, I did my best to push my irrational jealousy aside. Whether I
liked it or not, Jake was an important part of Bella's life, and as hard as it might be
for me to accept this fact, I didn't have much of a choice. I might not like him, and I
sure as hell didn't trust him, but I would never ask Bella to exclude him from her
life. That would be selfish and unfair of me, and I couldn't expect her to make that
sort of sacrifice.

While sitting in my seat brooding, Bella and Jake approached the entrance to the

library, and I watched them as they paused outside the front door. Jake's hands
moved fluidly through the air, signing something to Bella that made her laugh
before pulling her into his arms. This caused me to frown. Though it was clearly an
innocent embrace, the fact that he held her in his arms bothered me. She was mine
to touch, hold and care for, but something in the way he looked at her as Bella
walked away told me that a part of Jake felt that way too. He cared deeply for her,
that much was obvious, and I realized I couldn't afford to let my guard down where
Bella was concerned, because if I did, I might lose her. I shook my head, outright
rejecting that thought. I couldn't afford to let that happen; my heart was too
invested to survive that.

Once I knew that Bella was inside the building, I began drumming my fingers on

the surface of the table, anxious to see her. I was eager to speak with her to discuss
the details of her meeting, but I was also keen on having a little bit of fun. Knowing
it wouldn't take her long to find me, I quickly opened my biology book, pretending to
be hard at work and completely uninterested in how her meeting went. When she
arrived at the table several moments later, I didn't look up. Instead, I remained
focused on my textbook, purposely ignoring her while at the same time trying my

- 171 -

best not to smile. A few moments passed, and I noted out of the corner of my eye
that Bella's foot was working overtime tapping out an unidentifiable rhythm on the
floor. A few more moments passed, and when I still hadn't acknowledged her, Bella
reached out and turned my book right side up.

Oops…

Looking up at her with an impish grin, I pushed my text aside. Bella shook her

head at my antics, pulling out the seat catty-corner to mine.

How did it go? I asked once she was seated, but there was really no need for me

to. Bella's magnificent smile told me all that I needed to know. It stretched from ear
to ear, brightening her entire face.

*It couldn't have gone better!* she excitedly signed before leaning over and

retrieving her iPad from where her bag lay on the floor.

*Shelly was very sympathetic. She said that while relationships between

teachers and students aren't exactly encouraged, they aren't frowned upon
either. She wants us to be sure to keep things professional in the classroom,
which I assured her we would, and she doesn't suggest openly exhibiting our
relationship on campus. Otherwise, she assured me I had nothing to worry
about. *

I read what Bella had written with great relief. She had been so worried about the

potential consequences of our teacher/student relationship, and now that worry
could be put to rest. Bella was obviously pleased. She was practically bubbling over
with excitement, and I decided this was cause for a celebration.

So, does this mean I get to take you out on an actual date?

I raised my brows in question, daring Bella to say no.

*If you'd like,* she signed, biting down softly on her lower lip, trying to be coy.

Reaching out, I tugged her lower lip free. Then, catching her completely off guard,

I leaned across the table and planted a solid kiss on the center of her lips. She
gasped in surprise, playfully pushing me away. Narrowed eyes were all I needed to
put me in my place. Apparently campus PDAs were still off limits. Still, she giggled
as I informed her that I would most definitely like to take her out.

As it turned out, Bella chose Denny's to celebrate our victory. I wasn't entirely

- 172 -

happy about her selection, preferring instead to go somewhere a bit classier, but I
had made the mistake of leaving the decision up to her, and Bella insisted she
wanted a Grand Slam breakfast... for dinner. In truth, I didn't think she liked the
idea of me spending a lot of money on her, which was fine. I respected her need to
assert her independence. It was rooted in something much deeper than money, I
knew.

True to her word, Bella ordered a Grand Slam breakfast, and when it arrived, she

had an unusually good time playing with her food. One extra large pancake, two
dollops of butter, a strip of bacon and an orange wedge later, Bella had created a
masterpiece - a smiling face worthy of display in The Louvre, or so I assured her
through my irrepressible grin. God, this girl made me ridiculously happy. Little
things, like sharing bites of our meals with each other, made me feel like a
sentimental fool. How could I not have known what I was missing? All those times I
rolled my eyes at couples who gazed lovingly into each other's eyes - that was me
now, and I wasn't ashamed to admit how much I enjoyed it. These feelings that I had
for Bella were all consuming, making me feel light-headed and heady whenever she
was around.

We were part way through our dinner when I became acutely aware of several

sets of eyes trained directly on Bella. She was right in the middle of teaching me the
signs for pancakes and syrup when I noticed them. Bella appeared completely
oblivious to their unwelcome attention, but I wasn't. Try as I might I couldn't ignore
their pointed stares.

*What's wrong?* Bella signed, looking on at me in concern. I had been happily

practicing signs only moments before, but I was scowling now.

People are staring, I explained, and Bella's smile slowly faded, causing me to want

to reach across the table and prop it back up with my fingers. Bella should always
smile.

*Does that make you uncomfortable?* she asked, her face falling at the thought,

and my eyes opened wide in surprise.

What? No! Of course not. It doesn't bother me, but I think it's rude, I explained.

Bella's gaze softened as she considered my response, and soon, a tender look I

was beginning to recognize as belonging only to me settled on her face.

*Edward, remember, we talked about this. There's no need for you to feel so

defensive all the time. People tend to stare... a lot. It really doesn't bother me. I'm

- 173 -

used to it,* she signed with a shrug.

You may be used to it, but I'm not, I replied, realizing that the pointed stares of

strangers did bother me, but not in the way that Bella was thinking. This wasn't
about me feeling uncomfortable; I was frustrated that Bella had to regularly endure
unsolicited attention. I sighed, annoyed with the situation. Without even realizing
what I was doing, I started drumming my fingers on the table top. Bella reached
across and stilled them, resting her hand loosely over top of mine.

*Ignore them,* she instructed, and when I felt the toe of her shoe travel up my

right calf underneath the table, I couldn't help but crack a smile. Bella was obviously
attempting to distract me, and I couldn't deny that it was working, at least for the
moment.

"Are you flirting with me?" I teased, and Bella giggled in response.

Strangely enough, there was something very erotic about her foot massaging my

leg, and I found myself becoming aroused. Unfortunately, the table of curious
on-lookers killed my momentary buzz. I really wished they would look away, leaving
Bella and me in peace, but they continued to stare, causing me to start to fidget in
my seat. Finally, after doing everything short of leaning across the table and kissing
me in an effort to distract me, Bella decided to take matters into her own hands.
Surprising everyone, she lifted her hand from the tabletop and waved in the
on-lookers' direction.

Two young girls, who looked to be in their teens, at least had the decency to

appear embarrassed. Much to my surprise, it looked as if they were with their
parents, which only served to annoy me even more. Didn't people teach their
children it isn't polite to stare? I remembered my mother drilling this very important
fact into my head when I was a young boy, but apparently not every parent did the
same. As Bella waved, the two girls timidly waved back, and then Bella surprised us
all again, motioning for them to come over. My head jerked in Bella's direction when
I realized what she was doing, but she just winked at me, asking me to translate for
her.

*Hello, my name is Bella. What are your names?* she signed with a smile once the

girls stood before her. They glanced nervously in my direction after she asked her
question, and I told them to go ahead and introduce themselves. The youngest one
appeared uncertain, but the oldest one didn't hesitate in the least.

"My name is Abby," she said. "And this is my sister, Alicia," she added, pointing to

the youngest girl.

- 174 -

*Nice to meet you, Abby. I didn't catch your sister's name,* Bella signed in

response. She looked over at me, and her eyes followed my fingers as I
finger-spelled Alicia's name. When I was through, she turned back in Alicia's
direction and finished introducing herself.

Over the next several minutes, Bella took the time to show the girls how to greet

each other in sign language as well as how to finger spell their names. Both of them
were entirely captivated by her, intently tracking the movements of her hands as
they attempted to replicate them with their own. At first their fingers wouldn't
cooperate, and there were some frustrated sighs as each girl worked hard to
properly position their hands, but soon these sighs were replaced by excited smiles
as both girls mastered finger spelling their own names. It wasn't too long after that
their parents joined us, apologizing profusely for interrupting our dinner, but Bella
dismissed their concerns with a genuine smile. She loved educating people about
the deaf, she told them, right before pulling out two laminated, wallet sized cheat
sheets of the ASL alphabet from her bag. She handed one to each of the girls, much
to their delight, and their parents thanked Bella kindly one last time before pulling
their daughters back over to their own table.

Funny enough, they didn't stare at us for the rest of our dinner.

You're amazing, I signed when Bella and I were once again alone. She was so

much more tolerant than I could ever hope to be, but true to her humble nature,
Bella simply dismissed my compliment with a shrug. She paused, taking a moment
to remove her iPad from her bag.

*You know, in my experience, the best defense against ignorance is

education. Most of the time when people stare they're just curious. Maybe
they haven't seen a deaf person before. If they have, it's almost a given
they've never communicated with one. But once they have, the mystery is
usually gone. They see we're just like everyone else, only we use our hands
to talk. It's simple, really.*

Bella pushed the iPad across the table. I read what she had written, but I didn't

think she gave herself enough credit. I didn't think things were nearly as simple as
she made them out to be. In my opinion, the more natural response for an individual
in her position would be to react defensively. Then again, Bella had been deaf her
entire life. She had obviously learned to deal with curiosity in a proactive way, and I
loved this. I loved her desire to put a positive spin on whatever circumstances she
found herself in. Bella was always so calm and collected. I could learn a thing or two
from her about tolerance, but I wasn't sure how easy those lessons would be.

- 175 -

I wish it was as easy for me to feel comfortable with the situation as it is for you, I

signed, shaking my head in awe at her.

Bella regarded me thoughtfully for a moment before responding.

*I wouldn't necessarily say it's easy for me, Green Eyes. Trust me when I

say I haven't always been so relaxed. One of the reasons we left Forks was
because people were always staring at me. It was a small town, and I was the
only deaf child for hundreds of miles. Imagine the attention I drew. It was
hard for me and my parents. I just wanted to feel like I belonged, like I
wasn't some sort of sideshow, and I thought I could find that at FSDB. What
I didn't realize back then is that it doesn't matter where you live – if you're
not comfortable with yourself, then nobody else will be comfortable with
you. Does that make sense?*

It makes complete sense, and I'm sorry; I didn't mean to minimize your

feelings. I just wish I was as tolerant as you are. I guess given more time, it
will be easier for me too.

After reading what I had written, Bella reached across the table, taking my hand

in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. Suddenly, I hated the fact that we were
sitting so far apart. Standing up, I moved quickly to her side of the booth where I
slid in beside her. Bella smiled up at me as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder,
offering me a sweet kiss on the cheek.

*I want you to know that you never minimize my feelings. You always

listen to everything I have to say. You're a wonderful man, Edward, and I'm
proud to be with you. But I will say that at least in my opinion, tolerance
isn't necessarily learned. It's a choice - a conscious choice. Once you make
the choice not to let others bother you, it's really very easy.*

Bella shrugged her shoulders and smiled up at me, and I was truly lost for words.

I don't care what you say, you're amazing, I finally signed, and Bella giggled. She

wasn't giggling for long because I captured her mouth in a not so chaste kiss. She
squeaked in surprise, but she didn't protest until I moved to slip my tongue inside
her mouth.

*Edward,* she warned with a nervous smile when she pulled away. Her eyes

widened when they met mine, her breath hitching in the back of her throat.

"Come home with me tonight," I murmured, taking her face between both my

- 176 -

hands. I looked Bella directly in the eye as I spoke, softly stroking the pads of my
thumbs back and forth across her cheeks. I didn't want for there to be any
miscommunication. I wanted her to know exactly what I was asking. I wanted her. I
wanted to be with her. I didn't want to wait any longer. Bella must have felt the
same because she didn't hesitate to nod her head in response.

*Do you want to go back to my place?* she wondered, worried about Emmett, but

I shook my head.

"He's away for the weekend, and my bed is bigger," I replied with a wink and a

smile.

Bella playfully slapped my chest as I flagged our waiter for the bill, both of us

anxious to leave as soon as possible, and soon we were on our way home, a definite
air of nervous anticipation accompanying the now familiar silence. A few blocks
from my apartment, Bella laid her hand on my thigh. It was an innocent move,
something she did out of habit, but Jesus did it ever turn me on. I couldn't help but
imagine her fingers inching upwards, towards where I ached for her to touch me,
and it took every measure of self control I possessed not to take her hand in mine
and place it over top of me. My foot pressed down on the accelerator, hastening our
arrival home.

Pulling up to my apartment, I exited the car, jogging around to open Bella's door

for her. Even though my thoughts were clouded with want and desire, I was still a
gentleman, and I would treat Bella with the respect she deserved. She smiled shyly
up at me as she placed her hand in mine, and I gave it a gentle squeeze before
leading her to my front door.

While I was fumbling with the keys, Bella wrapped her arms around my waist from

behind, hugging me tightly to her and distracting me from the task at hand. The feel
of her arms around me was amazing, and I paused, resting my forehead against the
weathered wood of the door, taking a moment to catch myself. I was definitely
anxious to get inside, but I didn't want to rush any of this. It had taken both Bella
and I months to get to this point in our relationship, and I wanted to savor each and
every moment of being with her. Taking a deep breath, I focused on the exquisite
sensation of her lips on my back, feeling myself relax underneath her attention. A
few moments later, she pulled her left arm from around me, asking me what I was
waiting for. Laughing, I slipped the key in the lock and let us both in.

Once inside, Bella continued to kiss me, slowly moving from my back to my front

where her hands skimmed up my arms, leaving a tingling trail of sensation in their
path. Moving past my shoulders, she stopped only when her hands cupped my face.

- 177 -

Bella reached up on tiptoe then, tenderly brushing her soft lips along the faint scar
lining my cheek. I shivered under her touch, the attention she paid to the only
remaining vestige of my altercation with James causing me to sigh. I struggled hard
to contain my emotions as her finger traced a whisper soft line along the same path.
Her hands and lips were so gentle and so loving, yet everywhere she touched me,
my entire body came alive. She electrified me, made me feel like no other woman
before ever had, and in that moment, the whole world slipped away. Nothing else
mattered but the two of us. Reaching out, I slipped my hand around the back of her
neck and guided her eager mouth to mine.

I kissed Bella gently at first, slowly moving my mouth against hers and savoring

the soft, sexy sighs that escaped her lips. I took my time memorizing the sounds,
each and every one of them significant to me, but I couldn't hold back for long.
Emotions I'd held at bay for months now were fighting their way to the surface, and
soon my lips were pulling and tugging at hers with increased urgency and desire.
She met me kiss for kiss, holding back nothing as she gave into our shared need,
and by the time we made it through my bedroom door, our hands were grasping, our
bodies were grinding and our breathing was labored and quick.

Bella's hands tangled in the hair at the back of my head as we tumbled to the

sheets, and I moaned as she pulled me closer, kissing her harder, intermittently
nipping and licking her lips. Pulling back slightly, I dragged my mouth from hers,
willing myself to slow down as I kissed along the line of her neck. I didn't want to
rush this, so I did my best to take my time, gently laving my tongue over the tiny
goose bumps that formed underneath my touch. Soon, Bella's breathing was ragged,
matching mine pant for pant, and she pulled her hands from my hair, sensuously
sliding them down my sides, squeezing and kneading as they skimmed along my
body. My breath hitched as they settled on my thighs, pulling my body flush against
hers.

It was hard... so fucking hard not to unbutton my pants, pull out my cock and push

into Bella just then. I wanted her so badly, and her soft, sexy sounds were driving
me to the edge of insanity. But I didn't want to lose this moment to lust, because
that wasn't what this was. That was never what this thing between us was. It was
always something more, something stunning and beautiful and meaningful in my
life, and I wanted, no… needed Bella to know this. I needed her to know that this
was it for me. As far as I was concerned, there could never be another woman in my
life. I couldn't fathom feeling for another soul the intensity of what I felt for her. It
would be impossible, because somehow, when I wasn't even looking, Bella had
stolen my heart. She was everything I wanted, needed and desired, and I needed her
to know that. With great effort, I drew my body back from hers, tenderly taking her
face between my hands.

- 178 -

"You're everything to me," I murmured, rubbing her cheekbones gently with the

pads of my thumbs, and it mattered not that I was putting everything out there,
putting my heart on the line, because the simple words were spoken in honesty. She
was everything to me. Bella swallowed hard at my admittance, her eyes flitting
between my lips and my eyes, and when she stared into them, returning my deep
and penetrating gaze, I knew she felt the same. Her eyes, so wide, so deep and so
expressive, told me so. They spoke to me in ways the rest of her never could.

Suddenly overcome by emotion, I leaned forward and touched my forehead to

Bella's who sighed and placed her hand over top of my chest. She let it rest there for
a moment, listening with her hand to the strong, solid sound of a heart that beat
only for her. Slowly, her fingers crawled upwards, stopping to trace along the wet
skin of my lower lip, and as I exhaled a deep and desirous sigh she captured it with
her hand. I moaned in response, literally aching with need, and I couldn't hold back
any longer. Tracing the soft curves of her concave waist, my fingers teased along the
hem of her shirt, causing Bella to lift her arms without direction. I slipped her shirt
up and over her head, afterwards reaching around behind her to undo the clasp of
her bra. The straps slid down her creamy white shoulders until she was bare before
me.

"Beautiful," I silently mouthed, shaking my head at the vision before me. I reached

out and ghosted my finger in a single concentric circle around Bella's nipple, and
she inhaled sharply. Her breathing was labored now, as ragged and needful as my
own, and I watched in wonder as her chest rose and fell in rapid succession with her
breaths. Slowly, I leaned forward, sucking a perfect, pert nipple into my mouth,
groaning at the soft whimpers that fell from Bella's lips. She buried her hands in my
hair, securing my face to her chest, and I licked and teased and suckled each of her
breasts until my cock was so hard I worried I might come in my pants. Pulling away
from her with a solitary, wanton sigh, I rested my hands on her thighs, wordlessly
asking permission to remove her jeans. Bella stared down at me with fingers still
knotted in my hair, quietly offering me her consent.

It didn't take long and her jeans and underwear lay by the foot of my bed. She was

gorgeous lying there, completely bare, and she watched me closely as I pulled my
shirt over my head and dragged my jeans down my thighs. Soon we lay naked
together, side by side, Bella's hungry eyes traveling from my face to my chest and
finally to my groin where she reached out, taking me in her hand and stroking me
softly, exploring my body, all the while holding my eyes in an unwavering gaze. I
moaned quietly at the feel of her touch, leaning forward and kissing softly down the
exposed skin of her neck. My fingers skimmed up her outer thigh, tracing inward
where I started touching her as she touched me, making her feel a million light
years away in a universe that belonged only to us. Jesus, it felt so good being with

- 179 -

Bella like that, and as her grip grew stronger, her breathing more ragged, I realized
I was completely powerless before her. Bella had me; she had all of me, and I
wanted all of her.

Rolling on top of her, I captured her lips in a heated kiss, gently rocking my hips

forward and settling myself between her thighs. She was warm and wet and inviting,
and we began a lover's dance, moving rhythmically against one another, sighing
softly, kissing soundly and rubbing our bodies together so that we both felt good.
Soon our kisses were punctuated by deep whimpers and moans, and I briefly lifted
my body off of her long enough to roll a condom on before pressing my body back
against hers. I hovered above her, my eyes holding hers as I slowly pushed inside,
and when I was fully sheathed inside of her, she wound her hands tightly into my
hair, slowly calling out my name…

"Edward..."

Her eyes locked with mine as I began to move, and I knew I could never look

away. Every part of Bella called to me, a soulful siren's song, and even amidst the
wordless silence that hung between us, I heard her. I heard her as clear as day
because she was the only woman who had ever spoken to my heart. Our movements,
finely orchestrated at first, were soon frantic and choppy, and with labored
breathing, I knew we were both on the brink of orgasm. Reaching between us, I
rubbed my thumb in tiny circles between Bella's legs, and moments later, her body
exploded around me, gripping me, holding me, binding me to her in every way that
mattered. Watching her face twist up in pleasure and need was the most beautiful
sight I had ever seen, and I cried out as my own release overtook me, sending me
plummeting over the blissful edge of orgasm.

A little while later, I lay satiated on my back, Bella snuggled tightly by my side.

Night was just falling, but even though it was still early, I found myself drifting off to
sleep. It wasn't hard to do. I held everything that was important to me tightly in my
arms, and as I turned my head and brushed my lips across the top of Bella's head, I
realized there was no longer any doubt in my mind.

I was falling in love with Bella Swan.

Endnotes:

Ugh. Sorry for the super late update. I really DO have 27 chapters pre-written, but

the problem is they were pre-written as of a year ago! I'm changing some things
around as I read back over what I've written, which means there may be times when
there is more than a week between updates. Sorry about that.

- 180 -

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

REC!

Okay, so this rec is not for fanfic. Instead, I'm recommending another

supernatural romance I fell in love with these past few weeks. It's a little on the
angsty side. OK, a LOT on the angsty side, but the premise is unique and the hero
gives Edward a run for his money. A well-paced and intriguing plot rounds this story
out. Check it out on Amazon! It's a trilogy! Providence by Jamie McGuire. (Some
of you may have already read her other popular romance, Beautiful Disaster. If
not, this is a fairly good read as well).

- 181 -

The Sound of Silence

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in

*stars*.

Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 16 - The Sound of Silence

Silence has a sound, one that isn't distinguished by tones or waves, rather by

vibrations that travel smoothly across skin, lending a soundtrack to the quiet of the
night. It's the sensation of Bella's breath as it tickles my neck. It's the feel of her
heart as it thumps rhythmically underneath my hand. It's the awareness of her lips
as they brush gently against my skin and the feel of her lashes as they flutter against
my cheek…

Bella lay beside me, her hand resting comfortably atop my heart.

- 182 -

*I can hear you,* she signed, smiling against my chest. Her hand tapped lightly in

time with the rhythm of my heart, and she giggled when her light kisses to my chest
made it race with desire. I flipped her on her back, leaning in to kiss her softly.

"My heart races for you," I murmured.

Bella smiled softly up at me, her eyes, so vibrant and alive, holding mine in a

tender gaze.

*You make me so happy.*

"You make me happy, too," I breathed, parting her legs with mine. I rubbed

against her, relishing in her sighs as she weaved her hands into my hair and pulled
my face close. She kissed me slowly, her tongue moving lazily against my own. I
wanted to make love to her again, but we'd been together twice during the night,
and I didn't want for her to be uncomfortable.

"How do you feel?" I asked, pulling away from her so that she could see me speak.

*A little sore,* she admitted, though her hips continued to move in tandem with

mine. I moved my hand seductively up and down her inner thigh, lowering my head
to suckle at her nipple. Gradually, my hand moved upward until my thumb was
rubbing tiny circles at the apex of her thighs. She squirmed beneath me, soft
whimpers and sighs escaping her mouth as I brought her to orgasm. She returned
the gesture, her hand on me as we lay on our sides. Afterwards, we showered
together, and it was as if we'd done it a thousand times before. Everything with
Bella was so natural, our lives having seamlessly blended together despite our
notable differences. This just served to reinforce what I already knew to be true;
Bella belonged in my life, and not just in a temporary way. I wanted her with me
forever.

I wish I didn't have to go to the hospital, I signed once we were dressed. We stood

together in the middle of my room, and I sighed, lifting my hand to swish my thumb
back and forth across Bella's cheek. I stifled a yawn with the other. We hadn't slept
much during the night, and I was tired, but that wasn't why I didn't want to go to
work. I didn't want to go to work because I wanted to spend every waking moment
with Bella. I craved togetherness with her, and it was such a new feeling for me to
want someone in that way that I didn't want to let it go. I wasn't ready to give her
up, not even for a few short hours.

*It's not much fun being an adult sometimes,* she agreed. *Too many obligations.*

- 183 -

I grinned, pressing my forehead to hers.

What are your plans for the day?

*Teacher planning, studying, the usual.*

"Can I text you later?"

*I'm counting on it,* she signed with a wink.

My hospital shift was fairly uneventful. I was currently assigned to the ER.

Periodically, I was able to observe an interesting case, but mostly, I dealt with
general, run of the mill situations. Broken bones, stitches, non-serious
communicable and non-communicable diseases... the list went on and on. Normally,
I was completely engaged in my activities but today my mind was elsewhere,
focused solely on brown hair, brown eyes, smooth legs and a smile that caused my
stomach to flip on end, even now, so many months later.

By the time I got off work, I couldn't think of anything other than seeing Bella, but

I also knew that I needed to practice the piano. I was well aware of the importance
of attending to all my responsibilities, so with a resigned sigh, I headed straight to
campus. I texted Bella when I arrived, letting her know I was off work. She
responded immediately.

*Where are you?*

On campus. I need to practice for a couple hours. Do you want me to come

by after?

Please say yes…

*Can I meet you there instead?*

What?

My face lit up at Bella's unexpected request, excited at the prospect of playing for

her. Even though music was such an important part of my life, Bella had never seen
me play before. I wanted more than anything to share that part of my life with her,
but I had to admit, up until now, I was reluctant to talk about it with her, her initial
reaction to finding out I was majoring in music always lingering in the back of my
mind. But things were different between us now. We knew each other much better,
and more importantly, we were a couple. As much as I wanted to know Bella's world,

- 184 -

I wanted her to know mine too.

I didn't have time to type out my response before my phone buzzed in my hand.

*I've never seen you play. I'm curious. ;)*

Do you know where the SOM practice rooms are?

*No.*

Why don't I meet you in the parking lot in 15?

*Sounds good!*

True to her word, Bella's age old truck rumbled into the lot fifteen minutes later.

On a Saturday night at nine, the lot was practically empty, and Bella was able to
park close by. She hopped down out of her cab, her backpack slung over her
shoulder and her hair wrapped up in a loose bun. Walking up to her, I tugged her
hair free, letting it fall freely about her shoulders.

Better… much better. Bella was always gorgeous to me, but she was particularly

beautiful with her hair down.

"I missed you," I breathed, leaning in and pressing a kiss to her lips. I wound my

hands into her hair, and she pulled me closer, sighing as my lips moved softly
against hers. I deepened the kiss, never able to get enough of her, wanting to stand
there kissing her in the parking lot the whole night through, but eventually, I had to
pull away. I didn't have a choice. If we kept this up, there'd be no practicing the
piano tonight, and as much as I wished otherwise, this wasn't something I could
afford to do. Placing one final kiss to her lips, I skimmed my hands down the length
of her arms, taking her hand in mine and leading her in the direction of the practice
rooms.

Once inside, Bella set her bag down on the floor, waiting while I took my seat at

the baby grand. Scooting to the far end of the bench, I patted the seat beside me,
inviting her to sit with me, but she shook her head no, moving to the side of the
piano instead.

*Help me up?* she asked, and I stared at her for a moment before moving to her

side. Placing my hands on her waist, I hoisted her up to sit on the edge, and I
couldn't resist leaning in for a quick kiss. Bella took full advantage, her hands
finding their way into my hair as her legs locked around my waist. Soon I was

- 185 -

kissing her back with equal fervor, all obligations temporarily forgotten as I lost
myself in her. It was impossible not to. She felt so good pressed up against me,
warm and soft and mine, but when my mind started to wander, to thoughts of her
laid out before me, naked and wanting on the piano, I abruptly pulled away. Chest
heaving, heart racing and mind full of nothing but Bella, I rested my forehead
against hers.

"We have to stop," I breathed, hating myself for speaking such words.

*Sorry,* she signed, flushed and shy and so goddamn gorgeous.

"I'm not." I kissed her lips again, pulling her lower lip between my teeth. "You're

the best type of distraction."

Bella giggled before asking me if it was okay for her to sit on top of the piano. She

said she liked to feel the vibrations, and I shrugged, not really seeing a problem with
it. She weighed all of 120 pounds, and besides, lounge singers propped themselves
up on pianos all the time. Situating herself cross-legged in the center, she waited for
me to take my seat.

Any requests? I signed once I was settled on the bench before her.

*Do you know Clocks?*

I nodded, somewhat surprised by Bella's request. But when I took a moment to

think about it, I really shouldn't have been. It was unlikely that she would be familiar
with Classical music. Not that she wouldn't know who Bach or Mozart were, but she
likely wouldn't have a favorite song. She was, however, familiar with Clocks. I vividly
remembered dancing to it with her at Technique. She seemed to have a fondness for
it, and I wondered absently if it had to do with something more than just the driving
base.

Bella smiled at me, spreading her hands out in front of her and waiting for me to

begin. From the very moment my fingers touched the keys, her wide brown eyes
held mine in a steady, burning gaze. She watched me intently as I played, almost as
if she was deconstructing my thoughts, turning them over in her head in an attempt
to understand my connection the music. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me
feel self-conscious; playing the piano while looking directly into the eyes of another
wasn't something I was used to. But I couldn't have looked away even if I had
wanted to. I knew that this intimate contact was necessary for Bella, allowing her
the opportunity to listen to the music the only way she knew how, by experiencing it
through me. Every now and then, her gaze would fall to my fingers, watching in

- 186 -

wonder as they traveled fluidly over the keys, but mostly, she just watched me.

Without even thinking, I started singing along to the music, serenading the

dark-haired beauty before me. Bella's eyes lit with delight, dropping to my lips as a
wistful smile spread across her face. She watched me sing, her gaze lingering on my
mouth, and I wondered what she was thinking. As I approached the final verse, she
closed her eyes, brows pulled tight in concentration, and whether she was focusing
on the words or the vibrations of the music snaking their way through the wood, I
couldn't really say. It didn't matter, I supposed. What mattered was sharing who I
was with Bella. Music was one half of my soul, Bella arguably the other. For these
two worlds to so seamlessly coincide was more meaningful to me than words could
express.

As the song drew to a close my fingers slid from the keys. Unable to keep from

touching Bella any longer, I stood up, moving to the side of the piano and tugging
her close to me. Gripping her calves in my hands, I wrapped her legs around me,
securing her against my body while gazing on at her in wonder.

"You heard me," I breathed, profoundly moved by the moment we'd just shared.

Bella nodded slowly in agreement, pulling her hands between us.

*With these,* she signed, gently shaking them in front of me. *And these,* she

added, pointing to her eyes. *And with this,* she finally signed, placing her hand
directly over her heart. *It was beautiful. Thank you.*

She had heard me. Bella had heard me. Silence really did have a sound.

"Why Clocks?" I asked, my gaze burning into hers. I was hungry for an answer,

but much to my surprise, Bella's eyes grew suddenly guarded. She promptly looked
away, and my pulse quickened with anxiety, only to steady moments later when she
turned to face me again. Her brown eyes rose to meet mine, still cautious, yet at the
same time open and honest, telling me she was willing to share what she was
thinking. Knowing that put my mind at ease.

*Could you get my iPad?* she asked, and I nodded, gently pulling her legs from

my waist. I fished her iPad out of her bag before returning to where she sat on the
piano, wrapping her legs back around me. I liked to feel close to Bella like this; I
liked having her body wound up with mine. It made me feel satisfied and complete,
as if somehow my life was brought into balance simply by touching her. Taking the
iPad from where I had rested it on the piano beside her, Bella propped it up in her
lap and began to type.

- 187 -

*Do you ever feel like you try so hard to make something work, but despite

your best efforts, you never succeed?*

True to form, Bella's answer to my question was hardly what I expected. In fact, it

wasn't an answer at all; it was another question, and a rhetorical one at that. I
looked to her, confused, but she just offered me a small smile, reaching out to trail
her fingers down the side of my cheek before signing, *Humor me?*

I quietly nodded and she continued.

*Sometimes I feel like I'm walking a thin line, Green Eyes, like I'm

hovering between one world and another. It's hard for me. It's hard to feel
pushed in one direction and pulled in another. Regardless of the path I
choose, there are consequences.*

Bella appeared lost in thought as she typed, almost as if she was speaking to

someone other than me. A rueful expression settled on her face, and I furrowed my
brows, not entirely understanding what she was trying to say. Her words were
somewhat cryptic, suggesting there might be something more, simmering beneath
the surface, but I wasn't sure she wanted to go there. I hadn't realized my simple
question would elicit such a complicated response…

"Go on," I gently encouraged when Bella appeared apprehensive about continuing.

I took her hands in mine, bringing them to my lips and kissing each one of her
knuckles before setting them back in her lap. She smiled appreciatively at me, my
gesture seeming to give her the confidence she needed to proceed.

*Sometimes I wonder how much easier my life would be if I could hear,

Green Eyes. I don't like to admit that because it makes me feel ashamed. I'm
proud of the person that I am. I'm proud to be deaf. I have never been
embarrassed by my disability, but I curse missed opportunities. I curse my
inability to hear with my ears, to use them as nature intended. I curse my
inability to lead a more normal life. Generally, these feelings of regret aren't
so pronounced, but sometimes, when I'm with you, I can't help but feel a
little sad. It makes me sad that I can't hear you play the piano with my own
two ears. It makes me sad that together we face obstacles most normal
couples never will. And I wonder, am I part of the cure? Can I make this
relationship with you work? Or am I part of the disease? Is it doomed from
the start because of who I am?*

Come out upon my seas

- 188 -

Cursed missed opportunities

Am I part of the cure?

Or am I part of the disease?

And there it was... the final verse from Clocks, the one that Bella had considered

so thoughtfully while *listening* to me play. My heart broke at her achingly honest
admission, but while I understood her interpretation of the song, I didn't understand
where all of this was coming from. Moments before, Bella had seemed fine, happy
even to *hear* me play. But now she appeared vulnerable and uncertain about our
relationship. This caused the breath to catch in the back of my throat and worry to
crease my brows. My heart momentarily constricted in my chest as I carefully
considered what to say.

"Bella, are you… are you having second thoughts?" I finally managed to ask,

swallowing back my fear while at the same time preparing myself for the worst. I
breathed a deep sigh of relief when she shook her head vehemently no.

*Are you?* she timidly signed, and she was so vulnerable in that moment that I

wanted nothing more than to fold her into my arms and hold her close.

"Never," I whispered, leaning in to press my forehead against hers. I sealed my

declaration with a gentle kiss and Bella sighed, her arms skimming passed my chest
and over my shoulders, clinging to my neck. Pulling her closer, I kissed her again,
this time more deeply, slowly stroking her tongue with mine as I desperately tried to
reassure her that she was the most important thing in the world to me.

*I'm sorry,* she signed when we finally pulled apart, her face clouding over with

regret. *Sometimes I just get preoccupied by our differences.*

I understand, but why not focus on our similarities instead? As far as I'm

concerned, we're alike in all the ways that count.

Bella considered this, and soon, a small smile was working to upend her frown.

*We are?* she wondered, nervously worrying her lower lip.

We are, I assured her, peppering tiny kisses about her face and causing her to

giggle softly. We like spending time together. We make each other laugh. We
support each other. But most importantly, we make each other happy. Isn't that
what matters most?

- 189 -

I held my breath, waiting for Bella's answer, and it came in the form of a wide and

glorious grin.

*It is,* she agreed, and just like that, things returned to normal.

For the rest of the week, Bella and I developed a new routine. It seemed she

enjoyed *listening* to me play, so instead of spending time together at her
apartment in the evenings, she met me at school, in the practice rooms, where she
stretched out across the top of the piano, doing her homework while I practiced. I
realized it was a bit unorthodox, but I liked having her there with me. I could play
for hours with her as my single source of inspiration. I just made sure to choose out
of the way practice rooms, where no one was likely to bother us.

Before I knew it, it was Friday again, and I sat in Sign Language class, helping

Jessica study for Monday's exam. Bella had assigned us a free period, encouraging
us to work together in pairs to review for the test. She was currently moving about
the room, providing assistance to those that needed it, but as much as I wanted her
to "assist" me, that wasn't likely to happen. To be fair, I didn't really need any extra
help. I was 100% confident I would ace the exam, and if Jessica would stop making
frivolous conversation, I could help her to do well too.

I flipped through the pages of our text, suggesting to her that we begin by

reviewing emotions before progressing onto giving directions. Jessica shrugged, not
seeming to care what we studied, and I inwardly sighed. It would have been nice to
have been partnered up with someone who was more interested in what we were
learning, but ever since she had sat by me in the beginning of the semester, Jessica
and I had been paired up for virtually every group exercise. It seemed everybody
always found someone else to work with, and it didn't help that she stuck to me like
glue. I didn't like this, but short of telling her to leave me the hell alone, which
seemed a little extreme, there wasn't much I could do about it.

"So, tell me. Is it just me, or is Isabella really touchy feely with men?"

"Excuse me?" I said.

Surprised by her unexpected comment, I looked up in Jessica's direction, watching

her motion over her shoulder to where Bella stood, helping an underclassman sign
the word "angry". The boy was having trouble manipulating his hands, insisting on
keeping his fingers extended outward when they should have taken on the shape of
a claw.

I rolled my eyes.

- 190 -

"It's easier for her to physically position someone's hands than it is for her to

explain what they're doing wrong," I pointed out, annoyed by her ridiculous
question, but Jessica wasn't satisfied with my explanation.

"Why couldn't she just demonstrate it for him? Why does she have to touch him?"

she wondered.

"Because that's what some people need," I stated as calmly as possible, doing my

best not to let my aggravation show. "Not everyone has an easy time signing. Their
hands don't necessarily want to do what their brains ask them to. It's Isabella's job
to help them learn how. She is our teacher, you know."

"I guess," Jessica replied offhandedly with a dismissive shrug. She was quiet for a

moment before adding, "It just seems like she does it on purpose. She's awfully
flirtatious…"

"No, she's not," I interrupted, not liking the direction this conversation was taking.

"Well I think she is."

And I'd had enough.

"What's your problem?" I demanded, turning in her direction and fixing her with a

steely gaze. I realized my composure was quickly crumbling, but Jessica's
comment… what she was obviously insinuating, really pissed me off. Still, I knew
that I couldn't afford to lose my cool. Overreacting had gotten me into trouble once
before, and I didn't want to go there again.

"Nothing – jeez, take it easy, Edward," she muttered in response to my terse tone

of voice. "Why are you getting so upset?"

"Look," I said, taking a deep breath and scrubbing my face with my hands. "Can

we please just review for the exam?" It wasn't worth my effort to point out how
insulting Jessica's comments were, so I didn't even bother. She wasn't the type to
listen or care.

She studied me for a moment before shrugging and saying, "Whatever." And with

that, she turned her attention to what she should have been focused on all along –
studying, and I sighed in relief, grateful that she had decided to let it go. I honestly
thought we had put the entire event behind us. We studied quietly for the remainder
of the period without any other mention of Bella. But when Jessica turned to me as
we were packing up to leave, I knew something was up.

- 191 -

"It's funny you don't notice it," she said, her eyes holding mine in an

uncomfortable gaze.

"Notice what?" I asked with a sigh, even though there was no need to.

"Isabella's obvious interest in you."

What?

"Jessica," I warned, trying to appear unaffected by her response when really it had

thrown me. What the hell was going on here, anyway? Had she somehow figured out
that Bella and I were dating? Was she now trying to bait me into an admission? If so,
I certainly wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

"No, really. I'm being serious," she continued. "She watches you. Did you know

that?"

Before I had a chance to respond, she leaned into me, whispering, "Maybe it's just

me, but I'm pretty sure she has a crush on you." She backed away from me then,
adding, "She's spent half the class looking in our direction."

I swallowed thickly, disconcerted by Jessica's comments. Were they the product of

casual observation or something more? Whatever the case, I couldn't let my unease
show. That would only serve to make her suspicious.

"She's probably just checking to make sure we don't need any help," I offered as

casually as possible, but even to me, my excuse sounded weak. It came as no
surprise that Jessica didn't accept it.

"Please," she scoffed. "You're like Wonder Boy when it comes to Sign. You're the

last person in this class who needs help."

"I think you're reading too much into this."

I shook my head, hoping to God Jessica would just let it drop, because honestly, I

wasn't sure how much more of this discussion I could take. I really hated not being
able to own my relationship with Bella. I knew that Shelly preferred we keep it to
ourselves until the end of the semester, but it would be a hell of a lot easier if we
didn't. We could certainly avoid the type of uncomfortable situation I found myself in
now.

"It would make sense if she did... like you, that is," Jessica said, pulling me from

- 192 -

my thoughts, and I realized with regret that despite my wishes, there was no way
she was going to let this go.

"I mean, think about it," she continued. "You're young, obviously good looking,

and you're entering med school in the fall. She could do worse..."

"Jessica," I warned again, my entire body tensing at her words. There was no

doubt about it; I was reaching my breaking point.

"I'm just saying..." she laughed, apparently not noticing that I wasn't laughing

along with her, "you'd be a sure thing for her. I mean, it must be kind of hard for a
deaf person to make any sort of a decent living…"

"Enough!" I finally hissed, trying hard to keep my voice to a forced whisper. I

didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to our conversation, but Jessica had
stepped over the line for the final time. I could handle a lot of things, but I would not
stand by and let someone continually make offensive comments about Bella.

"Edward?" Jessica asked, bewildered by my intense reaction, but I didn't respond.

I was too wound up, the desire to defend and protect Bella so strong that I had to
slam my eyes shut, reminding myself that I couldn't fuck this up. I couldn't lose
control. I couldn't make the same mistake twice.

Suddenly, an idea came to me.

"You do realize that Isabella is working towards her Master's, don't you? That

makes her one step ahead of us."

Fight ignorance with education. Bella would be proud.

Jessica narrowed her eyes at me, a smile cracking her face.

"God, why are you always so serious?" she laughed, and I stared at her in

disbelief, stunned by her abrupt change in demeanor. "I was just joking, Edward,"
she continued with a roll of her eyes. "Although I do think she's interested in you.
Maybe she likes your enthusiasm." Jessica winked at me then, moving to gather her
things from the floor. "Anyway, I guess I'll see you on Monday. Have fun this
weekend."

Talk about whiplash...

I didn't know what to say in response, so I didn't say anything at all. Instead, I

- 193 -

watched her leave, wondering what in the hell had just happened but thankful that I
didn't have to deal with her anymore.

"The nerve of that girl," I complained later that evening. Bella and I were sitting

across from each other on the couch, eating pizza and occasionally glancing at the
television as I recounted what happened with Jessica earlier in the day. Our legs lay
tangled together beneath a blanket, and while I would have preferred to have been
holding Bella in my arms, it kind of restricted our ability to communicate.

Bella laughed, rolling her eyes.

*She's ridiculous, Edward. Don't let her get to you. As long as she doesn't try and

touch you again, I don't have any problem with her.* she signed, obviously referring
to our first day in class when Jessica had had a hard time keeping her hands to
herself. I shook my head at the memory. To think that she had accused Bella of
being flirtatious; talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

You didn't like that, huh? I asked, grinning when Bella frowned.

*No,* she signed, feigning annoyance, but the tiny smile pulling at her lips told a

different story.

Are we jealous? I teased, pushing to try and get a reaction out of her. I poked her

with my foot.

*What would I have to be jealous of?* she wondered, grinning at me and jabbing

me right back. I set my pizza on the table then, crawling towards Bella until I was
practically on top of her, pinning her down with my weight.

"Absolutely nothing," I breathed against her lips, smirking when the breath caught

in the back of her throat. I kissed her thoroughly before sighing and pulling away.
Try as I might, I just couldn't get Jessica's comments out of my mind.

This is going to be harder than I thought, I signed while leaning back against the

arm of the couch. Bella pouted at me, obviously frustrated by my retreat.

*What is?* she asked.

Sensing I was out of sorts, she grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

I just wish people would think before they speak. They can be so insensitive…

- 194 -

Bella snorted, shaking her head at me in amusement.

*You're just now learning this?* she teased.

I poked her with my foot again.

I'm trying to be serious, I signed, though I was having a hard time suppressing a

smile.

It was Bella who crawled across the couch to me this time.

*I know you are,* she signed before leaning in to kiss the tip of my nose. *And

you're adorable when you try and defend me. But, Green Eyes? I don't want to talk
anymore.*

"Oh no?" I said, arching my brows. Bella bit down on her lower lip, shaking her

head no.

"What do you want to do?" I asked, my breathing already growing ragged. Bella

answered my question with a kiss, flattening her body against mine.

And we were done talking for the rest of the night.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

Rec: The Fantasy Basket by JenEsme. Summary: What happens after the

happily ever after? This is the story of two women, two generations, two marriages,
both on the brink of breakdown. It follows Bella who is struggling with the throes of
new parenthood, a new house, and a new attitude from her once-attentive husband
who is now more focused on his job and his image than his wife, and Esme, who
lived through much of the same 20 years ago. Can Esme's advice about commitment,
communication, and (gulp) sex help Bella save her marriage, or will she be written
off as a meddling mother-in-law?

The prologue to this story just posted. Chapter 1 will post tomorrow. It is a lovely

story written by an even lovlier woman. Check it out!

- 195 -

Baptism by Fire

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 17 - Baptism by Fire

"I can't tell you how ready I am to get out of here," Alice said into the phone.

"Another fucking blizzard! Can you believe it? It's almost April and I'm still shoveling
snow!" she complained, though I knew she didn't really mind.

She had killer arms, thanks in part to cruel Chicago winters. We used to shovel

snow together when we were younger, earning enough money to go to the movies
on the weekends. These days, Alice's expectations were a little bit higher – like a
plane ticket to Florida for Spring Break. Luckily, my parents were all too willing to
send her away for a week. This afforded them the opportunity to take a vacation of

- 196 -

their own.

"I can assure you, you won't see any snow here. The weather's been really nice,

actually. Bella and I are looking forward to taking you to the beach."

Alice sighed, a particular type of sigh I knew all too well. It was a dreamy sort of

sigh, one she reserved for Jasper and any talk of romance. She was such a girl.

"It's so nice to hear you say Bella and I," she said. "It makes it sound like you're a

couple."

"We are," I pointed out, laughing at Alice's silliness.

"I know, but when you talk like that, it makes it sound serious. I like that."

"I like it too," I quietly agreed.

Cue the sigh… and there it was. Alice always was so easy to please.

"Well, I'm super anxious to meet her. I can't believe I have to wait another week. I

wish I was down there now."

"Bella's looking forward to meeting you too. With any luck, she'll be able to come

to the airport with me to pick you up."

"That sounds awesome, Edward."

I glanced down at my watch and sighed when I noticed the time. It was after nine,

and I had to be at the hospital in an hour.

"Listen, Short Stuff, I've gotta run. Be sure to send me your itinerary, and I'll see

you next Friday, okay?"

"Okay, Big Bro. Is there anything you want me to bring from home?"

"Just yourself."

"Done deal."

Hanging up the phone, I headed out into the living room, deciding to grab a quick

bite to eat before going to the hospital. Much to my surprise, Emmett was awake, a
rare occurrence so early on a Saturday morning.

- 197 -

"Hey," I greeted him on my way to the kitchen.

"Hey, Bro. What are you doing here?"

"Excuse me?" I laughed. "I do live here, you know."

"Yeah, sorry," Emmett chuckled. "I just thought you would have spent the night at

Bella's last night, that's all. Isn't that sort of your thing these days? Pizza and a
movie on Friday night?"

"Jesus, am I that predictable?" I half mumbled - half laughed, shaking my head at

the picture of domesticity that Emmett had painted.

"Well... yeah. As a matter of fact, you are," he teased. "When's the last time you

went out anywhere, anyway?"

"Not since my run in with James," I admitted with a sigh. "But in my defense, this

semester is kicking my ass. I don't have much time these days."

"I know what you mean. I've had to step up my game too."

Reaching into the freezer, I grabbed a box of Toaster Strudels, selecting a

strawberry flavored one before popping it into the toaster.

"So what are you guys doing tonight?" Emmett asked as I poured a glass of orange

juice.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"We don't really have any plans. Bella's been meeting me on campus lately. She

keeps me company while I practice piano."

Emmett smirked.

"I'll be she does," he said, waggling his brows.

"Shut the fuck up," I replied, rolling my eyes and laughing at him at the same

time.

Emmett's mind was always in the gutter, but I would be lying if I said mine wasn't

too every time that Bella crawled on top of the piano. Jesus, it was such a turn on for
me. She had no conception how sexy she was, perched up there on her stomach,

- 198 -

chin resting comfortably atop her neatly folded hands. She always watched me as if I
were the most amazing thing in the world to her.

I knew exactly how she felt.

"Hey, what about having a BBQ?"

Emmett's question pulled me from my thoughts, and I cast a quizzical glance in

his direction.

"What... tonight?"

"Why not?" he shrugged. "Seems as good a time as any to me. Besides, we haven't

really had a chance to hang out together in awhile. I'll invite the girls… maybe some
others from here in the complex. What do you think?"

"I'm not sure," I began slowly, not really knowing what to say.

In truth, I wasn't sure how Bella would feel about this. For whatever, reason, we

hadn't spent a lot of time hanging out with each other's friends. To be honest, we
hadn't done it at all. It wasn't that I didn't want to. I was actually truly interested in
meeting Bella's friends, but between school and volunteering, I had little time left to
socialize. The same held true for Bella. She was just as busy as me.

"Can I let you know?" I asked, not wanting to totally dismiss Emmett's suggestion

but knowing I should speak with Bella first. "I had to pick up a shift at the hospital
last night, so Bella went out with some friends. She got in late, and I don't want to
call her just yet."

"No problem," Emmett reassured me. "I think I'm going to plan on it, even if you

can't come. It's been awhile since we've cooked out; I don't want people thinking
we've turned into responsible pussies or anything like that. We have a reputation to
uphold, after all."

I laughed out loud at Emmett's comment. It's not as if our apartment was ever

party central, but I had to admit, it had been awhile since it had seen some action.

"All right," I said, chasing down the last of my breakfast with a swig of juice. "I'll

give you a call later, okay?"

Emmett nodded, and with that, I grabbed my bag from the floor by the door and

headed to the hospital.

- 199 -

I waited until lunch time to call Bella. It was difficult for me to wait so long, but I

wanted to let her sleep in, knowing she probably needed it after last night. Besides, I
thought that at least one of us should enjoy a leisurely Saturday morning at home.

She answered after the first ring.

*Hey, Green Eyes. How are you?*

I was using the hospital's TDD*, which made communication with Bella so much

easier. Texting was great and all, but I already felt like I had carpal tunnel in my
thumbs; I much preferred utilizing the larger keyboard the TDD afforded me.

I'm good. Did you sleep well?

*I did. Thanks. I didn't get in until after 2 a.m., so I was tired.*

I know. You drunk texted me. Some pretty explicit stuff...

There was a short pause before Bella's response came over the TDD, and I wished

to God I could see her face. Knowing her, she was blushing.

*I did not...*

If you say so...

*Green Eyes, you're making me nervous...*

I chuckled softly. It was fun throwing Bella off of her game. She could be so

gullible, and I wasn't above taking advantage of that. All in the name of fun, of
course.

If I were you, I think I'd be nervous too...

Another pause.

*Oh, God. What did I say?*

It was me that paused this time around. For effect and all.

*Green Eyes?*

Well, you may have mentioned certain fantasies of yours. Naughty

- 200 -

teacher/student fantasies, to be exact.

Yet another pause and I was grinning from ear to ear.

*You're teasing me...*

Maybe...

*Green Eyes! You do realize you're going to pay for this later tonight.*

I laughed out loud, imaging Bella chastising me firmly for my transgressions.

She'd crack a smile though; I was sure of it. It took a lot more than a little teasing to
ruffle her feathers.

Oh, I'm counting on it. But that's after you come to a BBQ with me.

*BBQ? What BBQ?*

I nervously tapped my fingers beside the keyboard before responding.

The one that Emmett's throwing. He was hoping that we'd come…

There was another pause, one that was admittedly more nerve wracking than the

ones prior, and I worried that I should have spoken to Bella about this in person. I
had no idea how she was going to react, and I couldn't help but wonder if hanging
out with my friends would make her feel uncomfortable. But was Alice was coming
in a week, and we'd definitely be hanging out with them then, so I figured it was
better for Bella to have a chance to get to know everybody beforehand, even if it was
in a large group setting.

That's what I told myself, anyway.

More time slipped by, and I was beginning to wonder if I shouldn't retract my

request when Bella's response came across the screen.

*Sure. That sounds fine.*

Fine.

It wasn't exactly the enthusiastic response I was hoping for, but it was better than

being turned down. I did wonder whether or not Bella really wanted to go or if she
was just doing it for me, but I didn't press the issue. I didn't want to push my luck.

- 201 -

Bella agreed to meet me at my apartment at quarter past eight that night. I

offered to pick her up after my shift was over, but she said it wasn't necessary. This
worked in my favor. As it was, I would already be late. Thankfully, Nurse Turner cut
me some slack. She let me go a half hour early, which came in handy when Emmett
called, asking if I could pick up a case of beer on the way home.

When I arrived home, the apartment was packed with people, the BBQ already in

full swing. I quickly showered and had just stepped out of the bathroom when when
my neighbor, Eric, a junior at USF, yelled through the house.

"Hey, Emmett! Some mute girl is standing at the door!"

"Jesus Christ," I muttered to myself as I pushed past a group of girls standing in

my way. Eric passed me at the same time, and I threw my hands up in the air in
question.

"What the fuck, man!"

"What!" he challenged back, in my own fucking apartment, and if it wasn't for the

fact that Bella was standing at the front door, I would have thrown his ass out.

"That's my girlfriend, asshole!" I yelled after him.

Eric's face registered genuine shock, and not the type of shock associated with

shame. It was the type of shock that told me he couldn't believe I was dating a girl
who was deaf. This only served to piss me off even more, but I didn't have time to
bother with him right now. He wasn't worth the effort, anyway.

Emmett and I arrived at the front door at the same time. He mouthed "sorry" to

me, but I wasn't upset with him. It wasn't his fault Eric was a dick. Bella was
standing there, looking a little confused, and I immediately pulled her into my arms.
She hugged me back, standing on her tip toes to kiss my neck while running her
fingers through my hair.

*Your hair is wet,* she noted.

Yeah. I needed a shower.

I bent to kiss Bella on the lips and she smiled up at me.

*I missed you,* she signed, causing my heat to stutter in my chest.

- 202 -

Crazy what three little words could do.

I missed you too. Come inside.

I took Bella by the hand, noting how tightly she gripped mine as I led her indoors.

I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, reassuring her that I was right there by her side.
There was nothing for her to be nervous about.

You want something to drink? I asked, pausing in the kitchen where Emmett had

set up a makeshift bar on the countertop.

*A little liquid courage?* Bella teased, finger-spelling her words.

Though she'd obviously meant it as a joke, her anxious eyes gave her worry away,

and I wondered just how nervous she actually was. With the exception of Emmett
and Rose, Bella wouldn't know anyone here, and it's not as if her and Rose had hit it
off. Then there was the small matter of Tanya…

Are you okay? I asked, pausing to slip my hand under the hem of her shirt. I gently

rubbed the soft skin on the small of her back, and a lazy smile settled across her
face.

*I will be, as long as you keep doing that.*

I squeezed Bella's waist, bending to kiss the top of her head.

"I've got your back," I murmured before letting her go, just for a moment, so I

could mix her a drink.

Afterward, I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and we headed into the living room.

Someone had turned the music up, and it was loud… really loud, causing me to
wince as we walked by the speakers. I spent so much time with Bella now that I was
unaccustomed to this type of noise. She must have noticed my reaction because she
tugged on my hand, smiling knowingly up at me. I shrugged my shoulders and she
rested her head on my arm, sighing and holding me close.

I spotted another one of our neighbors, Tyler, a Philosophy major at USF,

mingling with some people outdoors, I decided to head in his direction. Anything
was better than being inside, struggling just to hear myself think, and I thought that
he would be the perfect person to introduce Bella to first.

"Hey, Tyler," I said, patting him on lightly on the shoulder as we approached him

- 203 -

from behind. He turned in our direction, beer in hand, smiling at us in greeting.

"Hey, Edward, long time no see! Great party, by the way."

I thanked Tyler before introducing him to Bella.

"Tyler, this is my girlfriend, Bella," I said, speaking and signing at the same time.

He looked slightly surprised when my hands started moving in front of me, but to his
credit, he didn't stare. He was the type of guy that took everything in stride.
Reaching out, he took Bella's hand in his, shaking it firmly while saying hello.

Bella smiled brightly at him in return.

*Nice to meet you, Tyler. How do you know Edward?*

I translated for Tyler while Bella signed, ignoring the temptation to answer her

question myself. It would have been easier than translating, but it also would have
been rude.

"We're neighbors, actually. I live just across the way. I'm more or less a regular at

their..."

Tyler paused mid-sentence.

"Aren't you going to translate?" he wondered. I went on to explain that as long as

he spoke slowly and addressed Bella directly, she could read his lips.

Just then, I felt a gentle tug at my sleeve. I turned to look at Bella, and when I met

her questioning gaze, I realized that I'd inadvertently positioned my body away from
hers and she had no idea what Tyler and I had just said. I apologized to her,
embarrassed by my gaffe, and proceeded to translate our conversation. I acted as a
go between for several more minutes before the conversation fell flat. I was a little
disappointed, but it was okay. I was just happy that Tyler had made an effort to
make Bella feel welcome.

For the next half hour or so, while Emmett single handedly took on the duty of

grilling chicken, Bella and I made our way through the crowd. I knew most of the
people there, but there were also a lot of people I didn't know that had decided to
show up. I supposed it was par for the course at college parties, and I didn't really
mind, but it did make it more difficult to try and carry on a conversation, especially
when several people started talking at once. Bella did her best to read lips, and I did
my best to keep up with the necessary translations, but soon I found I could barely

- 204 -

think straight, and I'd only had two beers. I realized I wouldn't be able to drink any
more if I had any hopes of translating for Bella. She must have felt the same,
because she never asked for another drink after her initial amaretto sour.

Do you want to go back outside for a bit?

Bella and I were currently hanging out in the living room, where the music had

thankfully been turned down, but it was getting a little stuffy. I felt as if I could
hardly breathe, and with every moment that passed us by, I regretted agreeing to
this BBQ more and more. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy hanging out with my friends,
because I did, and I was happy to have the opportunity to introduce Bella, but this
casual BBQ had turned into a neighborhood event.

Bella nodded in response to my question, and I took her hand in mine, leading her

through the thick crowd to the back of the apartment where we slipped through the
sliding glass door. No sooner had we stepped outside than Tanya and Rose rounded
the corner. They must have just arrived, because this was our first time seeing them
tonight.

Whether or not it should have been, it was awkward for me to introduce Bella to

Tanya. Bella knew everything about Tanya's one time interest in me, but this was
the first time the two of them had actually had the chance to meet. For some reason,
this made me nervous. Thankfully, it was a gracious exchange. Even Rose made an
effort to make light conversation.

Unfortunately, like most everyone else, Rose and Tanya tended to angle their

bodies away from Bella when they talked, practically ignoring her while directly
addressing me. I knew it wasn't on purpose; people just didn't realize they were
excluding Bella that way. I did my best to include her in every conversation, but
tonight had demonstrated to me just how far I still had to go before I could consider
myself fluent in sign.

This bothered me more than I cared to admit. I had honestly thought I was doing

so well, progressing much faster than I could have ever imagined, but I realized with
a sigh that it was one thing to sign with just Bella and me and another thing entirely
to sign in a group. When Bella and I were alone, I could take my time, and Bella was
always there to help me. But standing there in the middle of a group, we weren't
afforded this same luxury. Conversation moved too fast for that.

"Rose told me what happened," Tanya said when we'd all been standing outside

together for a few minutes. There was a lull in the conversation, and she turned to
me, eyeing my cheek thoughtfully. There was tenderness to her gaze that hinted at

- 205 -

her one time crush, and I averted my eyes, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. "James
is a real jerk."

At the mention of James' name, my whole body tensed, and I reached down beside

me, gripping Bella's hand tightly in mine. She looked up at me in question, and I
realized she hadn't caught Tanya's comment, so I translated for her. She offered me
a sympathetic smile in return, squeezing my hand back.

"Emmett says that he's dating one of your sorority sisters," I commented, just then

remembering the conversation we'd had several months back.

"He is," Tanya confirmed. "Her name's Victoria. She's a real sweetheart. I'm not

really sure why she's with him."

"Guess some girls are just attracted to assholes," I mumbled.

"Yeah, but you know, the good ones are a dime a dozen these days," she replied

before realizing what she'd said and shyly looking away. I swallowed hard, feeling a
shift in the mood surrounding us. Things were starting to feel awkward again, and I
didn't like it. As my eyes traveled from Bella to Tanya and Rose, it was clear they all
felt the same.

"Well, be careful around him," I warned in an awkward attempt to conclude the

conversation. I didn't want to be rude, but I figured it was probably time for Bella
and me to move on. Tanya smiled softly up at me, her eyes holding mine for a beat
too long before she slowly nodded her head.

"I will, Edward," she said. She turned to Bella then, very graciously telling her it

was nice to have finally met her. Bella returned the sentiment, watching after them
as both Tanya and Rose disappeared into the crowd.

*She seems to really care for you,* Bella noted absently once they were no longer

in sight.

She was very perceptive, so of course she had noticed the way that Tanya had

looked at me. I'd honestly thought that Tanya was past this, but now I wasn't so
sure. Thankfully, Bella didn't appear to be upset. Her comment had simply been an
observation.

She's a good person. We don't really see each other that much anymore, but I

wish her well. I wouldn't want her to get caught up in any of James' games, I signed,
feeling like I needed to explain my concern for her.

- 206 -

Bella nodded quietly in understanding, but when she looked away from me, I

sensed something was wrong. Reaching out, I placed two fingers under her chin,
gently guiding her head back in my direction.

"Hey," I murmured, holding her eyes with mine. She tried to look away again, but

I wouldn't let her.

You know there's nothing there, right? Tanya and I are just friends. That's all.

*I know,* she signed, pausing before adding, *I also know that I'm a lucky girl.*

Bella smiled up at me then, but there was a wistfulness there that tugged at my

heart.

"I think I'm the lucky one," I murmured, bending down to softly kiss her lips. She

kissed me back, but not in the same way I was used to. I didn't dwell on it though.
Tonight had been a stretch for the both of us, and I knew we were both tired.

It was close to midnight when Emmett kicked the last person out, and I couldn't

believe how exhausted I was, not just physically but mentally too. My mind was shot,
and I wanted nothing more than to decompress. Taking a seat on the couch, I pulled
Bella into my lap and pressed my face into her side. She kissed the top of my head,
settling back against me as I reached for the remote. I turned on the TV, and
without even giving it a second thought brought up the subtitles so that Bella could
watch too. It was second nature to me now, and while I'd found them distracting at
first, I was used to them by now.

The four of us watched TV for a little while, some nameless comedy that wasn't

really all that funny, but soon Bella was yawning and shifting around in my lap.

Turning to face me, she signed, *It's late. I should probably be going.*

Her words caught me off guard.

Why don't you stay? I asked, disappointed that she wanted to leave. If you're tired,

we could just go to bed.

Bella pushed her hand though my hair before kissing me softly.

*Not tonight,* she signed when she pulled away. *Maybe tomorrow.*

Maybe tomorrow…

- 207 -

I didn't like the sound of that. But while I wanted to protest, telling her that I

didn't want to sleep alone, I somehow got the feeling it would be best not to push.
Bella looked tired. In fact, she looked really tired, and truthfully, so was I. I had to
be at the hospital first thing in the morning, so maybe it was better that we spent
the night apart.

Are you sure you won't stay? I asked one last time when Bella and I were standing

out by her car. She sighed, shaking her head no.

*I'm tired. I think I need to sleep in my own bed tonight.*

I waited for an invitation to follow her home, but one never came.

"Okay," I finally murmured, my forehead pressed to hers. "I'll call you tomorrow.

All right?"

*All right.*

And with one last kiss to my lips, Bella climbed inside her truck and drove away.

When I walked back inside the apartment, I went and took a seat on the opposite

end of the couch from Emmett. I watched TV with him for a bit while Rose sat
quietly in the Lazy Boy, flipping through a magazine, but after about fifteen minutes,
I couldn't help myself anymore. I cleared my throat to speak.

"So," I began slowly.

Both Emmett and Rose looked in my direction, eyeing me cautiously as if I were

about to make an important announcement, and in a way, I guess I was. But it
wasn't exactly an announcement. Instead, I was soliciting opinions. Taking a deep
breath, I asked the question I'd been waiting to ask all night.

"What do you think?"

"About what?" Rose asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"About Bella," I clarified, wondering if she was just trying to be difficult. "How do

you think things went tonight?"

I shifted in my seat, anxious to hear their responses. Despite my frustrations with

translating, I actually thought the evening had gone pretty well. It felt good to finally
be able to introduce Bella to my friends and to hang out together as a group. It

- 208 -

really felt like we had taken an important step forward in our relationship. That is
until Rose spoke up.

"Honestly? It was awkward," she said, her voice disinterested and flat, and I felt

like I'd been kicked in the heart.

Truthfully, I was a little taken aback by her response. While Rose hadn't

necessarily been overly chummy with Bella tonight, she had seemed to warm up to
her a little. Tanya seemed to like her too, although the conversation between the
four of us had grown a little awkward towards the end.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, trying to keep an even tone. It was hard for me

not to be defensive, but I didn't want to fight with Rose.

She shrugged.

"Bella looked bored out of her mind most of the night."

"Rose," Emmett gently warned, but she only waved him off.

"No, Emmett. Edward asked, and I'm going to answer him honestly. Call me a

bitch, call me whatever you want, but at least I have the guts to tell him what I
really think."

"She's right, Emmett," I said, my eyes never leaving Rose's. "I asked, and she

answered. It's actually an interesting observation on your part, Rose. I just wonder;
if more people had made an effort to talk to her, maybe she wouldn't have appeared
that way."

There was an edge to my voice, but I didn't care. It bothered me that Rose had

noticed something that I hadn't. I supposed I was so wrapped up in trying to
translate all night that I hadn't really had a chance to look at Bella. Of course I'd
seen her, but generally only while trying to translate. I hadn't been studying her
from afar like Rose. I had really thought that Bella had a good time, but now I was
questioning that, all because of one simple observation.

"How?" Rose wondered, throwing her hands up in the air in question.

I blinked twice, having momentarily gotten lost in my thoughts.

"How are people supposed to make the effort to talk to her, Edward?" she

continued. "You're the only one who knows how to sign! I mean, I appreciate the

- 209 -

effort you made to help translate, but it's awkward having to go through another
person to say anything other than hello. I felt like I was choreographing a dance:
step here, move there, make sure to maintain eye contact and so on. I tried, Edward.
I really did. But it was awkward. That's the truth, and I'm sure I'm not the only one
who feels that way."

"There are other means of communication, you know," I pointed out. "Bella carries

her iPad with her everywhere."

"Yes, but that's not practical. At least not in the middle of a cookout."

"Jesus, what do you have against her, anyway?" I shot back, my emotions finally

getting the better of me. I hated that neither Rose nor Emmett seemed to have
anything positive to say about the evening. I had really been expecting something
different, and I couldn't help but feel bitter and disappointed.

"Look, Edward," Rose sighed. "Contrary to what you might think, I don't hate

Bella. She seems nice enough. But the truth is, unless we all learn sign language,
she's never going to fit in."

I bristled at Rose's words, and whether or not it was because I worried there was

a degree of truth to them or because I was simply pissed off that nobody seemed to
be able to see beyond Bella's deafness, I wasn't sure.

"Emmett? What do you think?" I asked, momentarily ignoring Rose and turning my

attention to him. He'd been uncharacteristically quiet thus far, and I wanted to know
what he thought.

Emmett sighed, seeming reluctant to share.

"Don't hold back," I said, unable to hide the derisive tone in my voice.

"Bro, you know I like Bella," he came back at me defensively, "so don't even go

there."

I sighed. Emmett was right. I was being unfair. He'd actually been very supportive

of my relationship with Bella thus far, but that was part of the reason why his
silence tonight bothered me so much. I expected more from him.

"Bella's a cool girl," he continued, "and it's obvious the two of you care about each

other. But I have to admit, it was kind of awkward tonight. After awhile, she hardly
said anything at all."

- 210 -

Again, there was silence, and then I couldn't hold back anymore.

"This is unbelievable," I said. "I mean - have either of you even stopped to consider

how overwhelming this was for both Bella and me? We did the best we could
tonight," I ground out, my anger and frustration with the situation showing. "I
actually thought things went well, until now."

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration before reminding Emmett that he

was the one that said if Bella and I cared about each other, we could overcome our
challenges.

"And I still feel that way," he cut in, his voice placating in tone. He obviously didn't

want me to be upset. "Listen, Edward. I'm not suggesting the two of you won't work
out. But Rose is right. Unless we all learn to sign, which isn't really practical, Bella
is probably always going to feel somewhat left out."

My heart sank at Emmett's words, and where I was angry moments before, I felt

defeated now. Had tonight really gone that badly? Had I only been kidding myself
that things had worked out? Did Bella really felt left out? I hadn't really thought
about it before, but now that both Emmett and Rose mentioned it, there were long
stretches of time when Bella said nothing at all. I'd tried... Jesus had I ever tried to
include her in all our conversations, but I couldn't always keep up. It was
impossible. As much as I sincerely wanted to, I couldn't translate multiple
conversations at once. Not now. Maybe not ever.

That thought really depressed me.

"Edward?"

Rose spoke up, her voice tentative and soft, immediately causing me to be

suspicious.

"It probably isn't my place so say this, but for what it's worth, my sister still likes

you. She'd never admit that to you, but she does."

Emmett groaned somewhere in the background, but I was hardly paying attention.

I was singularly focused on Rose.

"You can't be serious," I replied, even though somewhere in the back of my mind, I

suspected the same thing. The way she had looked at me tonight told me she still
cared for me as more than just a friend.

- 211 -

"It's true," Rose quietly stated.

"Rose, don't," Emmett said, but we both ignored him.

"Why are you telling me this?" I wondered, completely bewildered by her

intentions. Regardless of how Tanya did or didn't feel, it was of absolutely no
consequence to me. It didn't change a thing.

"Because you should know that you have options."

Options? Was she serious?

"Wow, Rose," I laughed, my voice hardened by sarcasm. "You must really think

highly of me to think that I would break up with Bella in order to date your sister.
That's what you're suggesting, isn't it?"

"I'm not suggesting anything," she answered with a shake of her head. "I'm only

trying to point out the fact that there are other people out there who are interested
in you besides Bella. Honestly, Edward, do you really believe your relationship with
her is going to work out? Can't you see how difficult it's going to be? Tanya's a good
person. Who knows? If you give her a chance, you might like her too. That's all I'm
saying."

I sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose between my two fingers.

"We've been here before, Rose. I don't know how else to make it clear to you that I

don't feel that way about her. Why would you even want me to consider dating her
knowing how I feel about Bella? How is that fair to Tanya? It isn't. Even you know
that."

Silence followed. Rose studied me quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

"All right."

"All right what?"

"All right, I understand. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't my

place."

"You're right. It wasn't," I said before turning in Emmett's direction. "Did you

know about this?"

- 212 -

He shrugged.

"Yeah, I knew. But I didn't say anything because it doesn't matter. I know how you

feel about Bella."

"Well apparently your girlfriend doesn't," I muttered, and Rose bristled at my

words.

"All right, all right," Emmett quickly interjected before Rose had a chance to say

anything more. "I think you've both made your points. Rose knows where you stand
now, don't you?" he asked, turning in her direction and pinning her with a serious
gaze.

While her jaw remained set and her expression hard, her head moved in an almost

imperceptible nod, and I was satisfied.

"Fine, but let me make myself perfectly clear. I don't want to have to defend my

girlfriend under my own roof again," I said, directing my words specifically at Rose,
because she was the one who had gone on the offensive.

"Fair enough," Emmett agreed.

Looking between the two of them, I sighed. What an exhausting fucking evening.

"I'm going to bed," I said, and without saying anything more, I headed into my

room. My phone beeped with a text from Bella just as I was falling asleep.

*Thanks for a fun evening. I'll see you tomorrow night?*

You're welcome. And of course you'll see me tomorrow night. Sleep tight.

I'll dream of you.

Closing my eyes, I couldn't help but wonder if Bella really did have a good time or

if she was simply telling me what she thought I wanted to hear. And while I hoped it
wasn't the latter, I had a sinking feeling that maybe it was.

*TDD is a telecommunications device used by the deaf.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

- 213 -

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 214 -

Beneath the Surface

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 18 - Beneath the Surface

Sunday was a disaster from the moment I opened my eyes. I hadn't slept well the

night before, for obvious reasons. My mind was working overtime, endlessly
replaying episodes from the BBQ. Were Rose and Emmett correct? Had it really
been that awkward? More importantly, had Bella felt left out? I hated the thought
that they could be right, and I knew I had to talk to Bella as soon as possible in
order to sort things out. The problem was, I had to work a ten hour shift at the
hospital and it would be evening time before I had the chance to see her. I
contemplated calling in sick but decided against it. I'd just finished making up the
hours I missed as a result of my run in with James; I didn't need to indebt myself

- 215 -

again.

Working at the hospital was absolute hell. From the moment I arrived until the

moment I left, the ER was in overdrive. A seven car pile-up on I-75 coupled with an
outbreak of food poisoning at Busch Gardens meant I didn't even have time to grab
a sandwich at lunch. When I finally got a break in the early afternoon, I immediately
went to text Bella before realizing I had accidentally left my phone at home. I tried
calling her using the TDD, but there was no answer. By the time I clocked out at
quarter after six, I was exhausted, not to mention slightly frustrated because Bella
still wasn't answering the TDD. This left me a little confused and more than a little
concerned. It wasn't like her not to answer her phone, and she hadn't mentioned
having any plans today. I just assumed she would stay home and study.

When I left the hospital that evening, I drove straight to Bella's, my face falling

when I saw her truck wasn't there. I'd been waiting all day to see her and now it
looked as if I would have to wait even longer. I briefly considered hanging around,
passing the time in my car while waiting for her to arrive, but I quickly decided that
wasn't my best option. Bella could be anywhere, and there was no guarantee when
she would come home. Instead, I decided to go back to my apartment and text her.
At least that way I could take a shower before hopefully meeting up with her later
on.

Turning left out of Bella's complex, I made my way onto Fowler Avenue. I had just

passed Publix when I spotted her truck rumbling down the road, traveling in the
opposite direction from me with none other than Jake behind the wheel. I did a
double take, gripping the steering wheel tightly. For a moment I thought I was
hallucinating, but I knew what I saw. Suddenly, I was overcome with jealousy. What
in the hell was he doing driving her car?

Of course, I knew that Bella and Jake were friends. As much as I didn't like it, I

wouldn't ask her to give that part of her life up. What I didn't understand was why
she hadn't mentioned anything to me about seeing him today. I trusted Bella, I really
did. She had never given me any reason not to, but after last night, I was feeling
insecure and full of doubts. Had I pushed our relationship too far too fast by
introducing her to all of my friends? Had I unwittingly drawn too much attention to
our differences? Our differences preoccupied Bella from time to time, and I could
only imagine what she must have been thinking last night, lying alone in her bed
with only her thoughts to keep her company. God, I was a fucking idiot. I never
should have let her leave. I should have insisted she stay with me. But I wanted to
respect her need for space. Nothing good ever came out of forcing someone to talk
when they weren't ready.

- 216 -

I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do or not, but I found myself making an

illegal U turn and following Bella back to her apartment. Maybe it wasn't the best
idea for her to see me when I was feeling so upset, but I couldn't have gone back to
my apartment even if I had wanted to. I had to see her. I had to know that we were
okay. I also wanted to know what she was doing with Jake.

By the time I pulled into Bella's complex, she and Jake were already out of the

truck. Jake was just about to get into what I assumed was his own car when Bella
noticed me driving up. She waved her hand in greeting, and the huge smile that lit
up her face helped to allay at least some of my fears. Bella was obviously happy to
see me, but I was still nervous and somewhat agitated.

Pulling in beside her, I placed the car in park and immediately exited the vehicle,

jogging to her side. Jake remained in place by his car, but that didn't keep me from
noticing the smug grin that pulled at his lips. The fucker knew I was jealous and he
was taking great satisfaction in it. Fortunately for me, Bella stood on tip toe and
kissed my lips in greeting, and even though it was probably an asshole thing to do, I
wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and kissed her back. Hard. Bella
obviously wasn't expecting me to respond with such enthusiasm, and she gasped,
pulling herself away. Looking up at me, she narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

*What's going on?* she asked, knowing immediately that something wasn't right. I

didn't like that she had pulled away from me, but the logical part of me realized it
was necessary in order for her to sign.

Nothing, I signed in response, trying to appear as casual as possible. It must not

have occurred to Bella that I didn't like seeing her and Jake together, and I didn't
want to discuss that in front of him. I got off work and decided to come over. I tried
calling you several times today, but I never got an answer.

*I texted you this morning,* Bella signed, appearing bewildered by my statement.

*Some friends from FSDB called and asked if Jake and I wanted to meet them for
lunch in Orlando. We just got back.*

"You went to lunch?" I repeated.

Part of me was relieved to hear that Bella and Jake had spent the day together in a

group, but the other part of me was angry as hell that it was him who had
accompanied her to lunch. I wanted to be the one to do that, the one to share that
part of her life with her. I wanted to meet Bella's friends just as much as I had
wanted her to meet mine. Standing there, listening to her tell me she'd gone to
lunch with Jake felt like a slap in the face, and I couldn't help but wonder, did she

- 217 -

want the same thing I did? Did she want me to meet her friends? If I wouldn't have
had to work today, would she have invited me to come to lunch with her too?

*I texted you,* Bella signed again, shaking her head in confusion.

I left my phone at home, I finally explained, trying hard not to appear too

disappointed that she'd spent the day with Jake. I glanced in his direction, certain
he'd still be smirking, but I was surprised to find that I was wrong. He was no longer
staring at me with a self-satisfied grin. Instead, he looked on with rather intense
interest as Bella and I conversed in sign. I wished I knew what he was thinking.

*Well I'm glad you're here,* Bella signed, pulling my attention back in her

direction. *Do you want to come inside? Jake was just leaving.*

I nodded my head, and Bella reached down and squeezed my hand before walking

over to Jake. They signed back and forth for a moment before she pulled him into a
hug. I watched closely as he hugged Bella back. I still didn't trust him, but the
embrace was friendly and brief and soon Bella was back by my side. She waved
goodbye to Jake, and moments later he was gone, his beat up old Volkswagen Rabbit
rounding the corner and disappearing from sight.

Turning in my direction, Bella smiled up at me. She slipped her hand in mine and

squeezed it gently again, causing me to breathe a sigh of relief. I hadn't realized
how tense I was until I felt myself physically relax under her touch. She must have
noticed it too, because she didn't let go of me, even as she fumbled with her keys to
unlock the door.

Finally we were inside, and I couldn't keep myself from pulling Bella towards me

and kissing her properly. She didn't resist this time, and I groaned in satisfaction,
giving myself over to the kiss and to the flurry of emotions that consumed me. She
responded in kind, and as my hands slid up her back and tangled in her hair, I
thought to myself it would never be enough. I would always want to be closer to
Bella. I would always want more, and the thought that anything or anyone might
stand in the way of that happening made me frantic with need.

Soon I was kissing Bella with complete abandon, my mouth moving forcefully

against hers in an attempt to show her what she truly meant to me. But instead of
thrilling her I must have worried her, because she slowly weaned me from her lips
until our mouths were no longer touching. Reaching up, she pushed her fingers
through my hair, her eyes seeking and holding mine, and the way she looked at me,
with such tenderness and concern, was nearly my undoing. Nobody had ever looked
at me like that before, like I was the single most important thing in their life and it

- 218 -

made me want to pull her into my arms and assure her that she was that person to
me too.

*Are you all right?* Bella asked, and I nodded, because I was now, at least for the

moment. Somehow, the weight of the real world slipped away when I held Bella in
my arms. Unfortunately, she knew I was only telling half truths.

*Does this have anything to do with Jake?* she pressed. *Because I tried texting

you to tell you we were going to lunch. We went with mutual friends.*

There was no anger or defensiveness in the delivery of Bella's words; she only

wanted to reassure me that I had nothing to worry about. And I appreciated that,
because I probably deserved to be called out on my jealous behavior. But the truth
of the matter was the situation was a whole lot more complicated than that. This
wasn't just about my jealousy, and both she and I knew that.

Why didn't you spend the night with me last night? I asked.

My question must have caught Bella off guard because she furrowed her brows,

staring up at me in confusion.

*Why are you asking me that?*

Because I want to know. Because I've spent the entire day worrying that maybe

last night was too much for you. I tried to get a hold of you so that we could talk, but
you didn't answer, and then I come to your house and find Jake...

Bella didn't let me finish.

*I texted you last night. I told you I had a nice time.*

I could tell she sympathized with me and that she felt badly that I had worried, but

I could also tell from the tension in her jaw that she wasn't being entirely
forthcoming.

Did you really? I wondered, because now more than ever, I doubted that she did.

Bella sighed. Taking my hand in hers, she led me into her living room where she

sat down with me on the couch. She sat cross-legged by my side, her knees pressing
into my thigh, and I took comfort in the fact that she was touching me. It seemed
she needed the physical connection just as much as I did. Unfortunately, we needed
to leave our hands free to talk.

- 219 -

*I did have a good time last night,* Bella began in earnest. *I really enjoyed

meeting your friends. They were all very nice, and I appreciate the effort they made
to talk to me, but to be honest, it was exhausting. I was so tired at the end of the
night, and I knew you needed to be at work early in the morning, so I decided it was
best to go home. That's all, Green Eyes. It didn't have anything to do with us. Okay?*

I stared into Bella's eyes, and I knew from the intensity of her returning gaze that

she was being honest with me. Her hand rubbed soothingly up and down my thigh,
an added reminder that she cared for me and didn't want me to be upset. I leaned
my head on the back of the couch and closed my eyes, allowing her touch and her
words to relax me before opening them again. When I did, I turned my head in her
direction and reached out, smoothing a lock of her soft brown hair between the tips
of my two fingers.

"It was exhausting for me too," I admitted. "I wanted it to be perfect, but I feel like

it wasn't."

*It was fine,* she assured me with a small smile.

But was it awkward? Did you feel left out?

Bella sighed before pulling up on her knees. Taking my face gently between her

two hands, she kissed me softly on the lips. But when I tried to deepen the kiss, she
pulled away.

*One moment,* she signed with an apologetic smile. She disappeared into her

room then, only to reappear a few moments later with her iPad in hand. I tried not to
look too disappointed when she sat back down by my side, but I was really
beginning to hate that thing. It was an unwelcome reminder of our limitations, and I
couldn't wait until we reached a point where we didn't need it at all. It was
frustrating having to communicate through a computer, especially when you were
trying to have a serious conversation. I fought back the sudden urge I had to throw
the damn device across the room and instead worked hard to conjure a smile.

*Green Eyes, I'm not really sure what you want me to say, so I'm just going

to be honest with you and answer your question. Yes, there were moments
last night that were awkward and yes, there were times when I felt left out. I
won't lie to you and say that there weren't. But what you need to understand
is that it wasn't through any fault of your own. You tried, I tried. We both
tried our best to make a difficult situation work. But what did you expect?
Out of thirty people, we were the only two who knew how to sign. The odds
weren't exactly stacked in our favor. I'm not surprised it was impossible for

- 220 -

the both of us to keep up.*

I made a mistake, I signed with a sad shake of my head upon reading her words. I

didn't think. I should have known it would be too much. I'm sorry I put you through
that. If I would have known all those people were going to show up I never would
have…

*Stop,* Bella interrupted, fixing me with a firm gaze. *Please don't. I'm not upset

with you and I'm certainly not sorry you invited me to the BBQ. It might have been
difficult, but it was a learning experience for the both of us. Wouldn't you agree?*

I just hate that you felt left out, I replied with a frown. You shouldn't have to feel

that way.

Bella sighed.

*I know you're not going to want to hear this, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

I'm used to it, Green Eyes. It's just a fact of my life.*

She was right. That was the absolute last thing I wanted to hear, but what

bothered me more was that it felt like she was making excuses. Something told me
she had simply grown indifferent to uncomfortable situations, and I didn't like that. I
didn't like it at all. I wished she weren't so apathetic.

I wish you wouldn't say things like that. It really bothers me, I replied, unable to

keep from expressing my thoughts. I tried hard to temper my emotions, but it was
clear that I was frustrated.

Apparently, so was Bella.

She pulled the iPad from out of my lap and began quickly typing away.

*Well what exactly do you want me to say, Edward? Do you want me to get

angry, like you? Shake my hands in the air, proclaiming it's not fair? Is that
how you want me to react? Because believe me, I've done that, more times
than I can count. I've been bitter and I've been mad. I was so bitter and so
mad that I traveled clear across the country to try and find a place where I
felt I belonged! You know this, Edward! You know all of this. You know that
there will be times when I feel awkward and left out. You know that there
will be times when I feel like I don't belong. It goes with the territory, and
the sooner you realize that, the better. If you're expecting the two of us to be
able to hang out together in social situations without there ever being any

- 221 -

sort of discomfort at all, well then, you're going to be disappointed. It's not
realistic, Edward. I'm sorry, but that's all there is to it.*

I stared at Bella's words in disbelief. Not because they were unexpected but

because the passion behind them took me entirely by surprise. Bella was always so
calm and cool and collected, but it was impossible for anyone to be so composed all
the time. I knew there had to be something more there, and in that moment, I finally
felt as if I really saw Bella. In some ways, I felt as if she were truly being honest with
me for the very first time. And rather than be upset by words that were obviously
spoken in irritation, they actually brought me a deep sense of relief. Knowing Bella
trusted me enough to let me in like that meant everything to me.

Reaching out, I took her hand in mine and brought it to my mouth. She seemed

surprised by the gesture, but she didn't protest when I brushed my lips against the
back of her hand. Pressing her palm to my face, I held her gaze for a long moment
before signing, I'm sorry.

Bella swallowed hard, her face swimming with emotion, and for a moment, it

looked as if she might cry. Instead, she managed to remained stoic, her eyes never
shedding a tear. She was always so well put together that I wondered if she ever
really did let go.

Eventually, I placed her hand back in her lap. I hated having to do it, but I needed

the iPad to speak.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you. I'm just frustrated, because

regardless of whether or not you're used to feeling left out, I don't want you
to feel that way. I don't think you have any idea how much it hurts me to
hear you say that you feel like you don't belong. It fucking kills me, Bella. I
care about you so much, and I really want the two of us to be a part of each
other's lives, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if situations like last night truly
make you feel uncomfortable, you're going to end up resenting me in the
end. You're going to resent having to spend so much time around hearing
people and you're going to resent me for putting you in that situation in the
first place.

Bella read along as I typed, looking up at me as soon as I was finished. I was

worried that she might be upset with me, but when she reached out and brushed the
back of her hand along the side of my face, all my fears slipped away.

*I could never resent you,* she signed, slowly shaking her head, and I was

absolutely certain she had no idea how truly meaningful those words were to me.

- 222 -

She leaned forward then, softly kissing my lips before gingerly removing the iPad

from my hand.

*You try, Edward. You try so hard to include me and to always make me

feel at ease. Did you know that you're the first man I've ever been with that's
done that for me? Not even Jake, whose sister is deaf, did that for me. So no;
I could never resent someone who is as kind and sweet and caring as you
are. I think we both just need to understand what our limitations are, both
individually and as a couple. Maybe going to large parties won't really be
our thing. Not that we can't, but maybe it would be better for the two of us
to spend time together in smaller groups, where it isn't so difficult for us to
talk. We're going to have to create our own rules, Green Eyes, ones that
work for us. Besides…*

Bella stopped typing mid-sentence, and when I looked over at her to see why, she

smiled shyly at me, slowly drawing her lower lip between her teeth while setting the
iPad down at her side.

"Yes?" I breathed as she crawled on top of me, straddling my hips with her thighs.

It was no surprise the effect her close proximity had on me, and I pulled her closer,
my body coming alive underneath hers.

*Besides,* she continued, dragging a single finger across my bottom lip. *I kind of

like spending time with you alone.*

And with that she kissed me - slowly, softly, her mouth moving lazily against mine

until I parted her lips with my tongue, swallowing her contented sighs. Kissing her
like this was always amazing, and we made out with each other for several long
minutes before kissing just wasn't enough. I wanted Bella. I wanted her badly. After
the events of the last twenty-four hours, she was the only thing I needed to center
me and remind me what was real. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold back,
so I didn't.

Running my hands up the length of her back, I tangled them in her hair, pulling

her closer so that I could kiss her harder. My emotions were finally catching up with
me, and I was beginning to feel slightly out of control. I was desperate to show Bella
what she meant to me, desperate to show her that we belonged together, that we
were right together, that no one else had ever made me happier and no one else
ever could. Silence wasn't meant to be a barrier between us; it was meant to bring
us together.

Underneath it all, I knew Bella felt the same.

- 223 -

Her hands were everywhere, as needy and as desperate as mine, pulling me

closer, closer and closer still, until our bodies felt as if they were one. She paused a
moment, breathless from my kisses, and I surprised her by thrusting my hips
upwards. A soft, sexy sound escaped through her lips, and when her eyes fluttered
closed and her head dipped back, it just about drove me wild.

Pulling her body back to mine, I kissed along the skin of her cheek, made warm by

the rush of desire, and when I reached her ear, I nipped it softly, tugging her gently
near.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, my voice low and rough.

I knew she couldn't hear, but it didn't matter. To me the words rang loud and

clear.

*What did you say?* Bella asked, pulling my face back to hers. She was breathless

with want, but she was curious still, and I smiled as I playfully nipped her lips.

"You're beautiful," I said, my eyes never leaving hers, and I grinned in satisfaction

as the breath caught in the back of her throat. My lips retraced their path then,
leaving a trail of dampness as they once again found her ear.

"I want to fuck you," I breathed, punctuating my words with an upward thrust of

my hips.

When she pulled my face back to hers again, she didn't have to ask.

Slowly, I licked my lips.

"I want to fuck you," I told her, my body wound tight with desire.

The words had barely left my mouth when Bella's lips came crashing down on

mine. I groaned loudly in response, taking hold of her by the waist and quickly
standing up with her before laying her down on the couch. Crawling on top of her, I
lowered my body, settling myself between her thighs, and I kissed her as if she was
the only thing keeping me alive, because in that moment, it felt as if she was.

"Off," I heard her murmur, causing me to lift my head in surprise. I was

momentarily distracted by hearing her speak, but Bella wasn't interested in talking.
She stripped me of my shirt, and I moaned softly when she traced her forefinger
down the center of my chest. She let it linger at the waistband of my pants, teasing
me by dipping it under, only to pull it right back out. I was so fucking hard that I

- 224 -

couldn't see straight, and I rushed to unbutton her blouse while she hastily
unfastened my jeans. I hissed in response when she finally pulled me free.

"Fuck," I breathed, closing my eyes at the overwhelming sensation of her hand

wrapped around me, and for a moment I let myself get lost in the feeling, in the
endless pleasurable sensations her touch elicited in me. I marveled at how it was so
different from how any other woman had ever made me feel.

I didn't have to think long about why.

"I want you," I murmured, opening my eyes again, because it was a sin not to look

at Bella. She was stunning beneath me, chest heaving, cheeks flushed, hair fanned
out all around her. Reaching out, I skimmed my hands along the smooth skin of her
breasts, stopping in the center to brush my thumbs across her nipples. Bella
whimpered softly in response, her head rolling back against the cushions.

*Please,* she signed with a shaky hand, her eyes glazed over with desire. A lazy

smile lit my face, and I bent down, teasing her by drawing a single, perfect nipple
into my mouth. Sucking softy, torturous in my light touch, I pushed her pants down
past her knees before giving her what we both wanted. Centering myself over her, I
slid slowly back and forth before pushing inside her with one solid stroke. Bella
gasped in reaction, her hands sliding down my waist and settling on my backside
where she gripped me tightly. Then I started moving inside her and everything else
was forgotten.

"Fuck, you're perfect," I breathed as my tongue traveled along the outer shell of

her ear, but this time Bella didn't ask what I was saying. She was moaning softly as I
kissed along her neck, and I buried my head there for a moment, nuzzling against
her skin and reveling in the sensation of being inside of her. I was moving slowly,
but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this pace up for long. My need for Bella was
simply too strong.

Pulling my face from her neck, I looked deep into her eyes, mesmerized by what I

saw there. They were pinning me, holding me, communicating her innermost
thoughts, and they were about to drive me over the edge.

The honesty there was overwhelming.

Bella swallowed hard, gripping the hair at the back of my neck and tugging me

closer, and I kissed her with an urgency that spun us both out of control. We
remained locked in a passionate embrace, moving and kissing and loving and
fucking until breathless, I tore my mouth from hers.

- 225 -

"Turn over," I growled, slipping from inside her. Bella's bright brown eyes glowed

with unbridled desire and without a word, she did as I requested. Soon she was on
her hands and knees, her behind pressed firmly against me, and when she turned
around to look at me, I couldn't help but grunt loudly and sink back in.

"Fuck," I whispered, the word leaving my mouth on a breathless sigh. Bella

watched me intently, and with her teeth pressing hard into her lower lip, she pivoted
her hips, driving me to action.

"You make me feel so fucking good, baby," I murmured as I began moving inside

her again, but I doubted she understood me. My hand had just found the spot where
she was most sensitive, causing her to gasp when my finger started swirling. With
her head hung low, she couldn't look at me any longer, so overcome with sensation
was she, so I leaned forward, pressing my back flush against hers, re-establishing
that sacred connection.

Together, we drew closer.

Panting, twisting, grunting.

Pushing, pulling, fucking.

I felt what I did to her as her body twisted then unwound, and I bit down on her

shoulder, crying out as I spilled inside of her. Breathless and satiated, I collapsed
against her, rolling to my side and taking her with me. I kissed her shoulder, the
spot where I'd left an angry red mark, and her hand came to settle over mine,
complete with a contented sigh.

We lay together on the couch for awhile before showering and ordering dinner in.

Not soon after, we retired to Bella's room. Though we tried our best to study, both of
us had a hard time focusing.

You never told me how lunch went, I signed after pushing my Ethics and Medicine

textbook aside. After reading the same paragraph five times in a row, I knew it was
time for a break.

Bella smiled mischievously at me before gently pinching my side.

*You never gave me a chance. You distracted me,* she signed in response.

Me? You're the one who crawled into my lap, I pointed out with a satisfied grin.

Not that I'm complaining…

- 226 -

Bella giggled, leaning in to press a small kiss to my lips.

*Lunch was fine. Thank you for asking.*

So you had a good time?

She nodded.

*I did.*

I was quiet for a moment before asking what was really on my mind.

Do you think I'll ever have a chance to meet these friends?

Bella seemed surprised by my question, almost as if she hadn't considered the

possibility that I would want to, which made me somewhat sad. She'd said before I
was the first person she'd dated who had ever gone out of their way to make her feel
comfortable, and I wondered, was I also the first one to openly show interest in her
world?

She studied me thoughtfully for a moment before answering.

*If you'd like to.*

Of course I would, I signed without hesitation. There was truly nothing I wanted

more.

*Then you will,* she replied with a soft smile, reaching out to touch her fingers to

my cheek. I sighed, turning to kiss her palm.

"Thank you," I murmured, causing her to shake her head in amusement.

*Why are you thanking me?*

I don't know, I shrugged.

*Edward…*

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, and I knew there was no point in hiding how I felt.

Can I tell you something without you becoming upset? I asked, and she tilted her

head to the side, regarding me curiously before slowly signing *yes*.I smiled at her

- 227 -

in appreciation, reaching across to where her iPad lay on her bedside table.

Earlier when you first told me you'd had lunch with your friends from

FSDB, I was worried that maybe you wanted to spend time with them
because you felt excluded with my friends last night.

Part of me was embarrassed by my admission, but I couldn't pretend it wasn't

true. Because I did worry that I was pulling Bella away from her world and that
regardless of what she said, she might eventually come to resent me for this. Her
reassuring gaze helped to convince me that wasn't the case.

*I wanted to spend time with my friends because I haven't seen them in several

months,* she patiently explained. *Not because of anything that happened last
night.*

"Are you sure?"

*Yes,* she reassured me, resting her forehead against mine. *So stop worrying,

okay? Or else you're going to drive us both crazy.*

Bella and I both laughed, but we weren't laughing moments later when she leaned

in and captured my lips in a heated kiss. Her enthusiasm was unexpected, but I
responded eagerly, kissing her back with all I had until she suddenly pulled away.
Breathless, she grabbed my hand in hers, placing it over top of her heart.

*Do you feel this?* she signed, her face focused and intense and so goddamn

beautiful. *My heart beats for you, Green Eyes, only you.* She pressed my hand
harder against her heart, and I felt it beating a million miles a minute. Bella leveled
her eyes at me then, holding me in an unwavering gaze before slowly pulling her
hand away.

*A very wise person I know once told me that it was best to focus on the

similarities in a relationship, not the differences. I don't want to think about what
makes us different anymore . I want to focus on what makes us the same. As far as I
can tell, we make each other happy, and that's what matters most, right?*

Bella looked up at me through a barely contained grin, and when she winked at

me I couldn't help but shake my head at her and smile. It wasn't so long ago I had
recited those same exact words. Now here she was, reminding me of what was most
important in our relationship and setting my heart and mind at ease.

"He is a wise man," I agreed as I moved her textbook out of the way. I dropped it

- 228 -

to the floor before rolling on top of her and kissing her long and hard.

A very wise man, indeed.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

Rec:

Olly Olly Oxen Free by Dandelion Mind. This fic is a conundrum, in more ways

than one. Romance (okay, well… maybe not yet, but I think it will get there), humor,
mystery, tragedy… it has it all, wrapped up nice and neat in a tight little snarky
package. This fic is different, and might not be for the faint of heart, but I am loving
it so far. Give it a try! Official Summary: Until the murders, it was difficult to enjoy
anything in this dull town. Now CSI has nothing on my life, and I have my own killer
to catch. I just wish I didn't have another mystery to solve. Bella. Just as puzzling,
only infinitely more annoying. AH ExB

- 229 -

Unexpected

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 19 - Unexpected

I breathed in a deep sigh of relief. Midterms were officially over. After dotting my

last i and crossing my last t, I rose from my seat to hand in my exam. As I
approached my professor's desk, I had to admit she was pretty fucking hot. She'd
worn her hair down today, and it hung loosely over her shoulders, creating a
waterfall of brown that hid her from view as she meticulously studied the papers
that lay in front of her. God she was beautiful, and the best part was, she was mine.

I slipped the written part of my Intro. to Sign Language exam in with the rest of

the stack, and Bella glanced up at me, favoring me with a brief but incredibly

- 230 -

alluring smile. I tried hard not to focus too closely on her lips, but it was nearly
impossible. She'd worn lipstick today, which was something different for her. She
usually didn't bother with make-up, and I wondered if it had anything to do with
picking up Alice at the airport later this evening. Bella planned on going with me,
and the three of us were going to grab a bite to eat together afterwards.

"I'll see you later," I silently mouthed, making my way slowly towards the door.

Bella discreetly nodded her head. She had to wait for the rest of the students to

turn in their tests, and I needed to run across campus to check and see if the grades
had been posted for my piano performance exam. I'd gone with a 20th century
composition this time around, which was risky for me considering it wasn't my
favorite era of music. There were exceptions, of course. I loved impressionist music -
Debussy and Ravel; who didn't love Claire de Lune? But I hadn't chosen to play
music from either one of those composers. I'd selected a concerto by Schoenberg,
which showcased the use of his twelve-tone technique. I'd definitely taken a chance
in choosing this piece, but something had driven me to break out of my box. I'd
wanted to do something different - try something new, and Bella had encouraged me
in my choice.

I had exited the classroom and was on my way outside when Jessica's shrill voice

stopped me in my tracks.

"Edward! Edward, wait!"

I rolled my eyes, wincing as she practically screeched my name. I really wanted to

pretend that I didn't hear her, but it would have been impossible, not to mention
rude. Of course, Jessica wasn't exactly the poster child for tact, but two wrongs
never made a right. Playing the part of the nice guy, I plastered a fake grin on my
face and turned in her direction.

"Hey, Jessica, what's up?"

She stopped in front of me, huffing in frustration and doing her best to wrangle

her hair from her face. It was a windy day outside, which I rather enjoyed but
apparently she didn't.

"How do you think you did?" she asked, securing her hair with a tie.

She was obviously referring to our sign language exam, but even though I was

pretty sure I had aced it, I didn't want to appear too cocky, so I simply shrugged my
shoulders.

- 231 -

"Okay, I guess."

"Liar," she teased. She reached out and lightly punched me on the arm and I

frowned. I didn't like the fact that she always seemed to find some reason to touch
me. I quickly stepped away, putting as much distance between the two of us as
possible without entirely walking away. Unfortunately, my withdrawal was less than
discreet, and Jessica narrowed her eyes at me, letting me know that she'd noticed.

"Um... some parts were more difficult than others," I offered, trying to dispel the

sudden awkwardness I felt. I wanted nothing more to get the hell out of there, but I
was well aware of the fact I had to endure this girl for the rest of the semester, and
as much as I disliked her, I didn't want to create any more issues between the two of
us than already existed. It was best not to make enemies is a class where you were
dating the teacher.

"Yeah, that was kind of my impression. The time we spent reviewing together in

class last week really helped, though. Thanks for that."

Jessica smiled at me, her appreciation appearing genuine, but her

uncharacteristic niceness only served to make me feel all the more uncomfortable.
Something was up, and when her eyes raked over me, lingering just a moment too
long on my lips, it wasn't hard to figure out what.

"So," she began before trailing off for a moment, and I inwardly groaned, pretty

sure I wasn't going to like what she had to say. She took a deep breath and then
continued.

"What are you doing over Spring Break? Because I was thinking that if you were

interested…" there was a pause, "maybe we could hang out."

The suggestive lilt to Jessica's voice told me she was interested in more than just

hanging out, and this conversation had just gone from bad to totally fucked up in a
matter of seconds. Of course, if I was being honest with myself, I shouldn't have
been all that surprised. There was a part of me that had been waiting for this to
happen; Jessica's tendency to flirt with me in class was anything but innocent. But
I'd hoped she wouldn't go there. Now I was faced with the uncomfortable task of
turning her down. Not that I minded setting the record straight, but I was worried
that if I admitted to dating anyone, she might put two and two together and figure
out that Bella and I were a couple. Still, I didn't see that I had much of a choice. I
didn't want to send her any mixed signals.

"Listen, Jessica. You should know I'm seeing someone..." My words trailed off, and

- 232 -

I hoped my vague admission would be enough to convince her that I wasn't
interested, but unfortunately she was undeterred.

"Well, is it serious?" she wondered, as if this might make a difference.

"Yes," I answered her without the slightest bit of hesitation.

"Oh."

Jessica's face fell. She hesitated, as if not sure what to say next, so I saved her the

effort by slowly backing away. I didn't want to be rude, but as far as I was
concerned, the conversation was over.

"Yeah, so anyway, have a good Spring Break, okay?" I said, trying to sound as

genuine as possible while offering a cursory wave goodbye. There really was no way
to gracefully bow out of this situation, so I didn't even try.

"Yeah... you too," I heard her say as she waved her hand lightly in return. And

before she could say anything else, I turned on my heel and headed in the direction
of the music building.

A little while later, I pushed open the door to Bella's office, bursting at the seams

with excitement. She didn't notice me at first; she was too busy pouring over her
students' exams. It was only when I reached out and flicked the light switch on the
wall that she looked up to where I stood, grinning from ear to ear.

"I got an A!" I exclaimed, ecstatic. I knew Bella couldn't hear me, but I couldn't

help but yell. I was so excited to have scored so well on Schoenberg. Bella read my
lips and immediately jumped up from her seat, running to engulf me in a huge hug.
It was brief, given our very public location, but filled with unmistakable emotion.

*I'm so proud of you,* she signed when she pulled away.

I beamed in response to her compliment.

I still can't believe it. I was so worried.

*You worked hard. You deserved an A.*

Moving a step closer, I took one of Bella's hands in mine. I really wanted to kiss

her, but I knew that would be pushing the limits so I didn't even try.

- 233 -

Thanks for encouraging me, I signed, appreciative of her support.

Bella smiled up at me.

*Sometimes in trying something different, we discover something we really love,*

she signed, and for a brief moment, my heart stopped beating in my chest. While I
knew Bella was talking about Schoenberg, I couldn't help but wonder if she was also
referring to something else... to us and our relationship, specifically.

I couldn't agree more, I signed back, holding her gaze steady with my own.

Bella's cheeks instantly warmed over, further convincing me her words held

deeper meaning. No longer able to help myself, I reached up, gently stroking the
thumb of my right hand across her cheek. Bella sighed in contentment, causing my
heart to work overtime in my chest. I loved that I was able to make her feel this way.
I loved that my touch alone was enough to put such a beautiful smile on her face. It
was humbling in the most surprising way. I never thought I'd be this person to a girl,
but I was now, and I never wanted to be the boy I was in the past again.

I waited while Bella finished going over a few more papers before we left school

together, on our way to pick up Alice at the airport. We had a little time before her
flight arrived, so we decided to grab a cup of coffee at a small shop on Dale Mabry.
After ordering our drinks, Bella and I took a seat across from one another in an
isolated booth. As we sat there, sipping our coffee and enjoying a rare moment of
rest, I considered whether or not now was the time to bring Jessica up.

I knew that I needed to tell Bella what happened. Sooner was always better than

later as far as I was concerned, but I didn't want to spoil the evening. Still, I wanted
to avoid any potential misunderstandings, so I decided to jump right in, not even
bothering to make small talk before cutting to the chase.

Jessica stopped me after class today, I signed just as Bella brought her cup to her

lips. The steam from her cup billowed up around her face, and I studied her
carefully as she blew it out of the way before slowly taking a sip. At first glance, she
didn't appear overly concerned by what I'd said, but I knew her better than she
thought; the small amount of tension visible in her loosely locked jaw signaled she
was more bothered than she was outwardly willing to admit. Raising both her brows
in question, she prompted me to continue.

She wanted to know what my plans for Spring Break were, I explained, faltering a

bit before admitting that Jessica had asked me out. I went on to explain everything
that had happened as succinctly as possible. There was no point in lingering too

- 234 -

long on an uncomfortable topic of conversation. When I was through, Bella sat still
as a statue, taking a few moments to quietly consider everything I had said before
offering a cursory shrug of her shoulders.

*Okay,* she signed, as if it wasn't a big deal, and though I should have been

relieved by her indifference, her reaction kind of unnerved me. I hadn't necessarily
been expecting Bella to be overly concerned with what happened, but I hadn't
expected her to shrug the situation off either.

You're not bothered, I commented after a moment's time, trying my best to see

beyond the unflappable expression she wore on her face.

*I didn't say that,* she replied, carefully choosing her words. I waited for her to

communicate something more to me, but instead she sat quietly by.

That's it?You don't have anything more to say? I signed when the silence between

us dragged on too long.

I was beginning to get frustrated. Bella was holding back again, and I didn't like

it. Every time I thought we'd moved past this, she turned around and shut me out
again. It felt like we were moving backwards.

*I trust you,* she signed with a heavy sigh, noting my concern. *Isn't that all that

matters?*

I thought about Bella's question for a moment before answering her. I supposed in

a perfect world the fact that she trusted me was all that mattered, but if she was
holding back, which I felt strongly that she was, that mattered too. I wanted Bella to
talk to me. I wanted her to tell me how she was truly feeling, not what she thought I
wanted to hear. The fact that she was currently fidgeting in her seat told me she
wasn't as unaffected by this conversation as she pretended to be.

Why doesn't anything seem to faze you? I pressed, curious as to how she was

always able to hold everything together so well, because I knew without a shadow of
a doubt that if Bella had told me some guy had asked her out, I'd be jealous. Really,
if I were to be entirely honest with myself, I kind of wanted her to be jealous. At
least then, I'd recognize it as an honest emotion and I'd know she wasn't holding
back.

Bella's eyes met mine, and I immediately knew she was aware of what I was

thinking. She was incredibly perceptive like that, sometimes seeming to read my
mind, which was unnerving when hers was so often a blank slate.

- 235 -

Setting her coffee down on the table, she reached into her bag and pulled out her

iPad, placing it on the table. Within moments, her fingers were fast at work.

*Do you honestly believe that nothing fazes me, Green Eyes? Because

believe me, nothing could be further from the truth. Did you know that I
look at girls like Jessica, hearing girls, all the time? Did you also know that
when I do, the only thing I can think about is how much easier a
relationship with them would be for you? So, yes... it bothers me to know
that Jessica is interested in you, but it won't do me any good to get upset
over something I don't have any control over. Girls are going to like you,
Green Eyes. I'd be a fool to believe otherwise. I can either trust you... trust
what I feel for you and what I know you feel for me, or I can drive myself
crazy wondering if you'd rather be with someone else - someone who isn't
deaf. I prefer the former, Green Eyes, because the latter is just too difficult.*

I stared at Bella's iPad, overwhelmed by a sudden rush of shame. I realized too

late I shouldn't have pushed her and that it was my own insecurity that was
prompting me to make remarks at her expense. I hadn't meant to draw attention to
the fact that Jessica was hearing and Bella was deaf. This difference was
meaningless to me, but not necessarily to her. Even though Bella was fiercely proud
of whom she was her deafness could still make her feel insecure. Honestly, I could
understand that, because the fact that I could hear elicited similar feelings in me. I
had worried on more than one occasion that a relationship with a deaf man might be
more appealing to Bella, but I never voiced those thoughts.

I looked up at Bella, my eyes meeting hers in silent apology.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of Jessica. Please

believe me when I say I wasn't trying to draw attention to the fact that she's
hearing and you're deaf. That was the furthest thing from my mind. I just
thought you'd want to know that she asked me out, because if someone
asked you out, I'd want to know too.

Bella read what I had written, afterwards slowly nodding her head. When she

looked back in my direction, she offered me a small smile, and I knew she wasn't
upset.

*It's okay, Green Eyes. I understand. I appreciate your honesty, but you

should know by now that I don't like to dwell on things that are out of my
control. I meant it when I said I trust you. That's all that matters to me.*

It was my turn to nod my head in silent acknowledgement of what Bella had said,

- 236 -

and I was ready to let the conversation go, but not before I set the record straight on
one particular matter.

Thank you. I appreciate the fact that you trust me because it's true; I do

want to be with you, more than anything.

But Bella?

Just because something isn't easy, doesn't mean it's not worth fighting for.

You're worth fighting for. We're worth fighting for. Please don't ever doubt

that. You say that a relationship with a hearing woman would be easier for
me, but I'm not looking for a relationship that's easy. I'm looking for one
that's meaningful. And I've found that... with you.

I watched closely as Bella read my words. When she was through, she looked up

at me, her big brown eyes soft and unguarded.

You are so important to me, I slowly signed, working hard to convey the depth of

my emotions. Hearing or deaf, it doesn't matter to me.

Bella sighed, her fingers reaching out to gently stroke my cheek.

*You are important to me, too.*

I struggled with what to say next. The overwhelming part of me wanted to tell

Bella that she was more than just important to me. I wanted to tell her right then
and there that I loved her, but somehow the moment just didn't seem right. I didn't
want her to think the words were offered in casual response to our conversation; I
wanted her to know they came straight from my heart.

Bella nudged me with her foot, interrupting my thoughts.

*We're going to be late,* she signed with a small smile, and when I glanced down

at my watch, I saw that she was right. We really did need to leave. I watched as
Bella packed her iPad away and stood from where she was seated, but before I had a
chance to slide out of the booth and join her, she slipped in beside me. Taking my
face gently in her hands, she kissed me softly, her lips moving in slow motion
against mine.

All too soon she stopped. Resting her forehead against mine, we gazed into each

- 237 -

other's eyes, and in that single, silent exchange, we conveyed more to each other
than a thousand words ever could. I smiled to myself. This quiet connection we
shared, this ability to communicate with each other even amidst the deafening
silence, made us so strong. I knew this, and I had high hopes it would always carry
us through.

*Ready?* Bella asked as we reluctantly pulled apart. I nodded in response, and

with one final kiss to her lips, we slid out of the booth and left the coffee shop.

It was nearly seven when we arrived at the airport. Bella and I made our way

through the terminal to Alice's assigned gate, and we stood together, hand in hand,
staring out the window at the runway, waiting on her plane to arrive. With each
passing minute, Bella's hand gripped mine tighter. I assumed she was anxious about
meeting Alice, so I did my best to reassure her, rubbing my thumb soothingly along
the tiny strip of skin separating her thumb and forefinger.

If it helps, Alice is probably just as nervous as you, I signed, turning to face her.

My words weren't entirely true. My sister was the very definition of extroverted,

so I doubted she was nervous at all. Still, I was willing to say almost anything to put
Bella at ease. I didn't want her to feel anxious about meeting my family.

She looked up at me, worrying her lower lip a bit before offering me a nervous

smile.

*Is it that obvious?*

I smiled down at her, squeezing her hand and drawing attention to her iron clad

grip.

She grimaced.

*I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was fine up until now,* she

signed.

She took a deep breath, releasing it on a shaky sigh, and it was then that I

realized just how hard she was struggling to remain composed. I frowned. This was
very unlike Bella. In fact, it was so out of character for her that I immediately began
to worry that something was wrong. Thirty minutes before, she had been fine. She
hadn't appeared anxious at all. But now, she was very clearly distressed. With her
hand firmly ensconced in mine, I led her over to a set of vacant seats nearby.

- 238 -

Is everything all right? I asked once we were seated.

I kept Bella's left hand threaded together with mine, choosing only to sign with my

right hand. While one-handed signing wasn't ideal, under the circumstances, I didn't
want to stop touching her.

*I'm sorry. I'm being ridiculous,* she replied, attempting to dismiss her feelings,

but I refused to let her do that.

Stop apologizing, I insisted. Tell me what's wrong.

When Bella didn't respond, I reached out, gently tilting her chin upward and

forcing her to look me in the eye.

Bella, please, I pleaded, anxious to know what was going on.

Alice's plane would be landing soon, and I didn't want Bella to use her arrival as

an excuse to avoid talking about what was bothering her. Her eyes bounced all over,
her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap before she finally began to sign.

*It hasn't always gone over so well when I've met family members,* she

reluctantly admitted.

Though she didn't come right out and say it, it didn't take a genius to figure out

she was referring to the families of other hearing men she had dated in the past. I
pushed back the jealousy I felt at the thought of her being with another man and
instead focused on what was important – her.

What happened? I asked, curious as to what had gone wrong. I honestly could not

imagine anyone not loving Bella. She was good and kind and funny and so easy to be
around. I'd fallen seamlessly into a friendship with her long before falling into
something more.

Bella frowned, her face pulled tight in consideration as she mulled over her

answer.

*To be honest, I'm not exactly sure. But I think when people meet me for the first

time, it all becomes real,* she signed after a bit, and her answer left me thoroughly
confused.

Real in what way?

- 239 -

Bella's eyes locked with mine.

*Real in the sense that their son or brother or grandchild is dating a person with a

disability. They worry about what that means, for their loved one to be involved with
someone who is handicapped.*

I slowly digested Bella's words. They were laced with a certain sorrow that made

my heart ache for her. But while I wanted to argue that people should be able to see
beyond what they labeled as a handicap, even my family, who had been mostly
accepting of my relationship with Bella, had had their concerns. I supposed it was
inevitable given the situation, but I didn't want Bella to be preoccupied by this. I
didn't want her to worry that as a deaf person she would never be accepted into a
hearing family, because it wasn't true.

The roar of a jet engine caused both Bella and I to momentarily look away, but I

quickly found her eyes again, imploring her to listen.

"You have nothing to worry about," I said, holding her gaze steady with mine.

I was sincere in the delivery of my words, and I hoped she understood that our

situation was different. The feelings I had for her weren't ones that could be
influenced by others. Even if my family was to be so close minded as to judge Bella
based solely on her disability, it would make no difference. My feelings for her were
too strong to be swayed by outside opinion. Resting my forehead against hers, I
sealed my promise with a kiss, and when I pulled away, I was relieved to see she
looked slightly more at ease. She even offered me a tentative smile, her moment of
panic seeming to silently slip away.

Just then, an enthusiastic squeal split the air. Alice appeared in front of me, arms

thrown up and looking for a hug. I immediately stood to embrace her, and she
laughed in delight as I spun her around in a small circle, the bracelets on her wrist
tinkling in my ear. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Bella's smile broadening,
and no sooner had I set Alice down on the ground than Bella was stepping forward
to greet her.

My girl found had found her courage after all.

"Alice, this is Bella," I began by way of introduction, but before I had a chance to

continue, Alice's hands started moving in front of her.

{It's nice to finally meet you! Edward's told me so much about you. I'm happy you

could come with him to pick me up,} she signed, as if it were the most natural thing

- 240 -

in the world, and if God himself had chosen that moment to appear before me, I
couldn't have been more surprised.

Alice was signing. Fluently.

I tried hard not to gape at her, but it was damn near impossible not to. She hadn't

so much as mentioned a word to me about learning to sign, but she had obviously
learned somewhere, and I was stunned and amazed, but mostly just grateful,
because this was exactly what Bella needed. If this wasn't confirmation that she was
accepted by my family, I didn't know what was.

Glancing in her direction, I watched as she brushed a tear from her eye. She was

as moved by Alice's gesture as I was, and in that moment, it occurred to me that I
had never actually seen her cry. Bella was usually so stoic and so strong, but not
today. Her rare display of vulnerability had me struggling to temper my own
emotions.

*It's nice to meet you too,* she signed with shaky hands, biting back a smile.

Alice opened her arms wide to her then, and Bella willingly walked into them, the

two girls hugging like long lost friends. When they finally parted, Bella's worry and
anxiety from before seemed nothing more than an afterthought. She was entirely at
ease, and I couldn't help but smile. Alice had been on the ground for less than five
minutes, and already she was working her magic, spinning an unsuspecting Bella
into her web of friendship.

{Did you wait for me to eat dinner? I'm starving,} Alice signed with a wide smile.

*Of course,* Bella replied. *We thought maybe we'd grab some Cuban food on the

way home.*

Bella made sure to sign slowly, and Alice watched her intently, wrinkling her nose

in concentration as she tracked her every movement.

{That sounds great! I'd love some black beans and rice. I just need to get my

luggage first,} Alice signed. She had to finger spell 'black beans and rice', but I was
amazed at how fast her fingers manipulated the letters. She was almost as fast as I
was.

Bella rubbed her belly, a huge grin spreading across her face. She loved black

beans and rice, and I was beginning to think these two might just be a match made
in heaven. She gave Alice a thumbs up, and Alice promptly linked her arm through

- 241 -

Bella's, leading the three of us on our way.

A little while later, we all filed out of the restaurant and into my Volvo. Dinner had

gone extremely well, with Alice and Bella getting to know each other over black
beans and rice and Mojitos. I had to admit, it had been surreal watching Bella and
my sister effortlessly communicate with each other in sign, but I'd quickly grown
accustomed to it, relishing in the fact that a member of my family had made the
effort to learn.

Bella sat beside me in the front seat on the way home, holding my hand in her lap.

She gazed out the window, up at the dark night sky, and it would have been
impossible not to have noticed the contented expression on her face. She was happy,
and Alice had made her that way. I didn't think a first meeting between her and my
family could have gone any better.

Despite my disappointment in having to do so, I dropped Bella off at her

apartment with a promise to pick her up first thing in the morning. I hated being
apart from her, but Alice was taking the bed at my place and I was being relegated
to the couch.

*Did you know?* she signed, turning to face me at her front door, and I knew she

was referring to the fact that Alice knew how to sign.

"No, I didn't," I replied, leaning in for a kiss. Bella ran her hand around the back

of my head, lazily scratching the hair at the nape of my neck.

*Your family must really love you.*

I thought about this for a moment before replying.

They do, I finally agreed. But that's not why Alice is learning sign.

*No?*

No, I shook my head. She's learning it because of you, Bella, because she wants to

know you.

Bella gazed up at me, her deep brown eyes heavy with emotion, and when she

pressed her lips to mine for the final time that night, there was a certain intensity
heretofore missing. Standing there, I felt a subtle shift in our relationship, as if
Alice's easy acceptance of Bella had imbued each of us with the belief that we really
could make this relationship work. I kissed Bella back soundly, and when I finally

- 242 -

stepped away, I saw a steadfastness reflected in her eyes telling me she felt the
same way.

Goodnight, I signed, slowly making my way backwards towards the car. She

offered me a little wave before disappearing behind her door.

"Spill it, Short Stuff," I said when I climbed back inside my car.

Alice had moved up front and was now seated beside me, wearing a smirk.

"What on earth are you talking about?" she wondered, playfully batting her lashes.

I chuckled softly, rolling my eyes at her and reaching over to pinch her arm, but she
was too quick for me. She instantly pulled it away.

"Hey," she reprimanded as I started up the car. "Is that any way to treat someone

who's just spent the last three months of her life learning sign in order to
communicate with your girlfriend?"

From the tone of Alice's voice, it was clear she was teasing, but my face grew

instantly serious.

"Alice, I..." I tried to continue, but I found myself getting suddenly choked up. I

wasn't sure what had come over me tonight, but my emotions were getting the best
of me. I turned away from her, embarrassed.

"Hey," Alice said, reaching out to touch my arm. Strong feelings of gratitude

swelled inside of me and I laughed a little, shaking my head at my own
ridiculousness.

"Thank you," I said, glancing back in Alice's direction. I held her gaze for a

moment, hoping she could see how sincere I was before turning my attention back
to the road.

"You're welcome."

"I still can't believe you did this," I mused, and my sister turned in her seat,

angling her body towards mine so that I could see her better.

"Edward, it was obvious when you came home at Christmas that Bella was

important to you. I have never seen you so worried about making a good impression.
I knew the moment you said Bella was deaf that I was going to enroll in a sign
language class. I'd like to think you'd do the same for me," she said with a shrug of

- 243 -

her shoulders.

Alice obviously didn't feel as if she'd done anything out of the ordinary, and I

supposed that maybe she was right. If she had chosen to date someone who was
deaf, I would have made an effort to learn sign too. Still, it was moments like these
that reminded me how lucky I was to have the family I did. I knew not everyone
would do what Alice had done for me.

"Well, thank you... again," I said. It didn't feel like enough, but it was all I had to

offer.

"You're welcome... again," Alice teased. "And don't thank me anymore. Seriously,

Edward, Bella's awesome. I really enjoyed dinner tonight."

"I'm glad," I said, not bothering to hide my satisfied smile. "I know she enjoyed it

too."

Alice settled back in her seat, reaching the back of her hand up to her mouth and

stifling a yawn. "I'm looking forward to spending time with her this week. We're
planning on the beach tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah," I said with a smirk.

I made a right hand turn into my apartment complex and parked the car in my

designated spot.

"Maybe we'll even run into a few sharks," I teased with a wink, recalling a time

when we were younger that Alice had fled the water at the sight of fins, only to
realize soon after they belonged to a pod of dolphins swimming by.

Alice scowled, and I chuckled softly. Hopping out of the car, I went to retrieve

Alice's luggage from the trunk. It was good to have her there. And, like Alice, I was
really looking forward to spending time together with my two girls this week.

Endnotes:

*Yikes! I'm showing my age. Way back when dinosaurs roamed the earth,

you could actually meet people at the gate in an airport. I didn't feel like
reworking that particular scene, so consider it my right to exercise literary
license. ;)

Thank you for reading.

- 244 -

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 245 -

The Ties that Bind

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 20: The Ties that Bind

As it turns out, Alice only spent one night at my apartment. She and Bella got

along so well that we ended up spending every night thereafter at Bella's apartment.
The day after Alice arrived the three of us went to the beach. It was a beautiful day
in Tampa. Although the Gulf was still on the cool side, we enjoyed our time by the
water nonetheless. Alice and Bella spent most of the day sunbathing, and I spent
most of the day ogling Bella. I couldn't help it. Her tiny blue bikini fit her perfectly,
accentuating all the right spots and leaving nothing to the imagination. She was the
very definition of sexy, and if Alice hadn't been there, I would have been proposing
that Bella and I do much more than just lay together under the warm sun.

- 246 -

Returning home from a long day, Bella suggested we order pizza, and after

showering and changing into comfortable clothes, we all sat down together in the
middle of her living room floor. I had to laugh at Alice, who was attempting to sign
while she ate. It wasn't quite working out for her, and Bella was in stitches across
from her, her eyes tracking Alice's breadstick as she waved it about in the air.

"Put the bread down before you douse one of us in sauce," I laughed, and Alice

turned frustrated eyes on me. She brought the breadstick perpendicular to her
sealed lips, and the message was clear; she wanted me to shut the hell up and
'speak' in sign.

This was something she'd come up with this morning on the way to the beach. She

wanted the three of us to communicate solely in sign, no exceptions. I'd raised a
brow at her suggestion, but I was certainly game. Bella was amused and clearly
touched by Alice's grand efforts to learn sign. She was also more than patient with
the both of us as we fumbled our way through conversations sans iPads and with
sealed lips.

*I want you to know, I'm so grateful you're learning sign,* Bella signed to Alice

once we'd eaten the last slice of pizza. Thankfully, Alice had ceased waving her food
around in the air, and we had all managed to avoid getting pelted by drops of pasta
sauce.

Alice shrugged her shoulders at Bella's comment, indicating it wasn't really a big

deal to her.

{I knew from the moment Edward told me about you that I was going to learn. I

could see he was set on winning your heart, and Edward generally gets what he
wants,} Alice signed with a smirk.

Bella raised both her brows in an 'oh really' type of expression before gesturing to

Alice to continue. Alice turned in my direction, winking at me, and I chuckled softly.
I knew exactly what story she was going to tell and there was no use trying to stop
her. She would tell it regardless of whether or not I wanted her to, and at the end of
the day, I had a good sense of humor. I could laugh at myself when necessary, and it
would most definitely be necessary tonight.

{So, when Edward was a sophomore in high school, he had a huge crush on a girl

named Kate,} Alice began with an eager smile. {She was popular and beautiful, but
she was a senior and also happened to be dating the captain of the football team.}

Alice paused for a moment and Bella looked in my direction. She smirked at me,

- 247 -

rubbing her hands together in anticipation, clearly looking forward to *hearing*
more.

{I was in the same grade as Kate's younger sister, Irina,} Alice continued. {She

was kind of a misfit, and the two of us didn't have anything in common, but Edward
decided I needed to befriend her.}

*He used you to try and get to Kate?* Bella signed, amused.

{Something like that,} Alice replied. {Although it was more along the lines of

acting as a spy.}

*A spy?*

Bella glanced back in my direction, and I rolled my eyes. My sister certainly had a

flair for the dramatic. Of course, everything she was saying was true.

{Yes, a spy,} Alice reiterated. {Kate and Irina were very wealthy, and they lived in

a mansion on a hill. Edward wanted to know which bedroom was Kate's, so he
enlisted my help.}

At that, Alice snickered, and Bella fixed me with a bemused gaze. Not having any

reasonable defense, I threw my hands in the air in a 'what can you do' type of
gesture. I was a teenage boy then after all, and I had my eyes set on Kate. Bella
giggled, rolling her eyes a little before reaching over and squeezing my arm. It
seemed my antics didn't bother her, which was a relief.

*Did you find out?* Bella asked, turning her attention back to Alice, and Alice

nodded.

{I did.} Alice paused then, growing suddenly quiet, her face set in a solemn

expression. {But at great personal cost to myself.}

I noticed that Bella appeared genuinely concerned by Alice's sudden change in

demeanor, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Again. Alice was really laying it on
thick tonight.

*What happened?* Bella wondered, her face now drawn tight with worry. She was

hanging on Alice's every word, and I wondered, not for the first time, why my sister
had never considered a career in theater.

{After spending several weeks hanging out with Irina at school, I was finally

- 248 -

invited to spend the night at her house. Imagine my surprise when I walked in her
room and discovered she collected snakes!} Alice shuddered at the memory, and
Bella looked on at her in disbelief.

*Snakes?*

{Yes, snakes! And one of them happened to get loose that night! It slithered into

bed with me, and I woke up when it began coiling itself around my leg!}

By now, both Bella and Alice looked completely horrified, but while I understood

that Alice had been slightly traumatized by what happened, she was being a little
dramatic. Yes, she'd suffered some, but the truth of the matter was she got me back
good.

I think now is a good time for me to finish telling this story, I signed, interrupting

Alice before she had a chance to begin signing again. She moved to protest, but I
held up my hand stopping her. Alice sighed in resignation before starting to giggle,
no doubt remembering what happened next.

So, Alice came home from Kate's the next morning, and she never mentioned what

happened. Instead, she told me she'd had a good time, also telling me which window
to stand outside of the following evening. I had my plan all laid out. I would wait
until after dark before sneaking onto Kate's property and standing below her
bedroom window, throwing a stone to catch her attention before serenading her
with my guitar.

*Wow, you really lay it on thick, don't you?* Bella signed with a grin. *What did

Kate think of your Casanova routine?*

Casanova? I signed, clutching my heart and feigning hurt. I reached out to pinch

Bella on the thigh and she swatted my hand away.

*I call them like I see them,* she signed with a shrug, and I pinched her thigh

again. Harder. She gasped and smacked my arm, but before she could take things
any further I threw my hands in the air in surrender.

Anyway, I don't know what Kate thought of my routine.

Bella furrowed her brows in question then, silently asking me why.

I never did get to play for her, I signed in response.

- 249 -

*Because she never came to the window?* Bella wondered, and I shook my head.

No. Because Alice sent me to the wrong room.

Silence fell across the living room. Bella peered in Alice's direction before staring

back at me.

*Whose room did she send you to?* she finally asked.

Kate's parents', I deadpanned, and Bella gasped. Turning in Alice's direction, she

gaped at her in shock, but Alice only giggled. As far as she was concerned, justice
had been served.

*What happened next?* Bella eagerly asked, barely able to contain her curiosity.

I chuckled softly at the memory.

I threw a few stones, but nobody came to the window, so I picked up a larger rock.

"It was a boulder, Edward!" Alice suddenly cried, splitting the quiet of the room

and temporarily forgetting her own rule of silence. Flustered, she waved her hand in
front of Bella, catching her attention. She then went on to explain in great detail the
exact dimensions of the rock I'd thrown. Although I didn't remember it being quite
so large, it had crashed through Kate's parents' window. Bella could hardly believe
it, but that was only the start.

The rock hit Kate's father in the head, I explained, and by now Bella's face was

permanently painted with disbelief. He stumbled out of bed and inadvertently
tripped and fell, cutting open his forehead on the end table in the process.

*This is unbelievable,* Bella signed while shaking her head. She was trying hard

not to laugh, but she wasn't meeting with much success.

I know, I know. But believe me; everything I'm telling you is true. Thankfully, my

father was working in the ER that night. He was the one to treat Mr. Denali. It turns
out the two of them knew one another from when they were kids. They belonged to
the same Cub Scout troop, believe it or not.

*What are the chances of that?*

I don't know, but I'm thankful. It meant Mr. Denali didn't go so hard on me.

- 250 -

*And what about Kate?*

I started dating her several weeks later, I signed with a wink.

Bella laughed quietly, gently shaking her head.

*Do you always get what you want?* she asked.

Scooting a little to the left, I pulled her between my legs, wrapping my arms

around her waist.

Yes, I normally do, I signed in front of her once we were comfortably situated. I

bent to kiss her neck, and she shivered a little as my lips made contact with her skin.
Drawing my arms more tightly around her, she moved her head to the side to allow
me easier passage. I continued to kiss along the smooth curve of her neck, oblivious
to everything around me until Alice's hands started flapping around in front of us.

{Hello! Remember me?} she signed in jest, interrupting my moment with Bella.

Bella laughed softly.

*Sorry,* she replied, although I didn't think that she was. Alice winked at her,

letting us know she was only kidding.

*Any more interesting stories to tell?* Bella asked as she settled back in my arms.

Her back was pressed against my chest, and it occurred to me that my
comprehension skills were improving because it wasn't difficult for me to
understand her, even though I was watching her sign from behind.

{Well, there was the time Edward convinced me that my mother would like it if I

trimmed her shrubs into topiaries,} Alice offered, and I heard Bella gasp. Turning in
my direction, she chastised me with her stare but all I could do was laugh. It was
funny as hell back then and it was funny as hell now. I mean really, they were just
bushes after all. They eventually grew back, even if it did take six months.

{Then there was the time that Edward raided my bathroom cabinet and used up

all of my good make-up for art class.}

Bella furrowed her brows in confusion and Alice went on to explain. I had been

instructed to use an alternative medium for my project, something other than paints,
pencils or pastels, and Alice's make-up just happened to fit the bill. How was I
supposed to know the blush alone cost fifty dollars? I saw that shit in Wal-Mart for
much less than that. Bella laughed along with Alice, who had long since forgiven me.

- 251 -

I chuckled softly too, but I was beginning to wonder how I had become the center of
attention tonight. Not that I minded, but still...

Hey, I may have done some crazy things, but I still think I was a pretty good

brother, I interjected, feigning hurt at Alice's selective memory. In a moment's time,
my sister's mood shifted, her eyes softening as a wistful expression settled on her
face.

{You were,} she agreed with a nod of her head, her eyes temporarily losing focus

as she reminisced about some long ago memory held dear. {You were the best
brother. You may have gotten me into all sorts of trouble,} she qualified, {but you
were the best brother.}

I smiled at Alice, happy to hear she shared the same sentiment as me.

{Did you know that Edward once drove straight through from Florida to Chicago

just to take me to a dance?} Alice asked. Bella blinked a few times in succession,
and I could see her doing the math in her head. It was a long fucking drive. She
turned and cast a disbelieving glance in my direction just as Alice caught her
attention.

{I promise you he did. He was a freshman in college at the time. It was my senior

prom, and Jasper came down with the chicken pox two days before. I remember
calling Edward, completely devastated. I'd worked so hard to design my dress, and I
really wanted to go, but I didn't want to go alone. As soon as Edward hung up the
phone, he jumped in his car and drove straight to Chicago. He didn't even tell me he
was coming. He just showed up on the doorstep two hours before prom started, with
a tired, dopey grin on his face.}

Alice finished telling her story while brushing tears from her face, and as I peered

around Bella's shoulders, I could see that she was getting misty-eyed too. I realized
this conversation had devolved into a sentimental story time, so I waved Alice off,
telling her it was nothing.

{It wasn't nothing, Edward,} Alice insisted. {It's just you. It's who you are. You're

willing to do anything for the ones you love.}

Alice caught Bella's eyes then, with some sort of silent exchange taking place that

ended up with both the girls in giggles. The rest of the evening played out in a
similar fashion. Alice shared long forgotten memories from our past while Bella
*listened* with rapt attention. Sometime after 1 a.m., I crawled onto the couch.
When I pulled an old blanket over my head moments later, Bella and Alice were still

- 252 -

sitting on the living room floor, signing away. A few moments passed, and Bella
pulled back the cover, offering me a sheepish smile.

*Sorry,* she signed. *Are you ready for bed?*

I smiled up at her, reaching out to smooth her hair from her face.

It's okay. You two stay up and talk.

*Are you sure?*

Positive, I signed. And I was. Nothing made me happier than to see my sister and

my girlfriend getting to know each other.

*Okay. Goodnight.*

Bella bent over me, pressing her lips to mine before pulling the cover up to my

chin and tucking me in. I smiled up at her before rolling on to my side. My eyes were
heavy and soon I was fast asleep.

The week flew by with alarming speed. Our days were spent relaxing on the

beach, with a mid-week trip to Busch Gardens, and our nights were spent hanging
out in Bella's apartment. We went into Ybor City several times, one of which
included me escorting two very tipsy girls home in the backseat of my car. It had
been hard not to laugh at Bella teaching Alice how to swear in sign, but when Total
Eclipse of the Heart came on the radio and Alice started signing along, I couldn't
hold back any longer. Bella was familiar with the song, and she joined in, giggling at
Alice's egregious errors while patiently correcting her.

By the time Friday rolled around, Bella had to spend the day at school. She

wanted to prepare lesson plans for her class on Monday, even though Alice tried to
twist her arm and convince her otherwise. She was leaving the following day, so
today was our last day to spend time together. I suspected this was part of Bella's
decision to go to school; she wanted to give Alice and me some time together alone.
While this wasn't necessary, I appreciated the gesture. Besides, we had plans to
cook out with Emmett later on, and Bella promised to see us then.

Alice and I headed into Clearwater Beach before lunch, although we didn't have

plans to go to the beach. Instead, we grabbed a couple of sandwiches at a small cafe
overlooking the water. Afterwards, Alice asked if we could browse the shops for a
new, sea-themed charm for her Pandora bracelet.

- 253 -

"It's been so good having you here," I said to her as we strolled side by side past

souvenir shops selling everything from sand dollars to flip-flops to tacky tees
emblazoned with Clearwater Beach. Alice swung sideways, nudging me lightly in the
arm.

"I've enjoyed it. I can't wait to tell Mom and Dad all about Bella."

"I'm excited for them to meet her at Graduation," I commented before admitting I

was a little nervous.

"Why?"

Alice turned her head in my direction, her eyes rimmed with curiosity.

"Well, I'm still not sure Mom's entirely convinced that Bella is the best thing for

me," I explained, choosing my words carefully. "We haven't talked much about her
since I left, so I really don't know."

"Does it matter?" Alice wondered.

She tugged on my elbow, leading me into a small jewelry boutique. It looked to be

upscale, and Alice made a beeline for the Pandora display.

"No," I answered her without even giving it a second thought. "It doesn't. I'm with

Bella now, and nothing's going to change that. But it would be nice if everyone was
as supportive as you."

"What makes you think they're not?"

"What are you, the devil's advocate?" I teased, and Alice just shrugged her

shoulders.

"It's not that," she laughed. "I just think you worry too much. Yes, mom was

concerned about your ability to juggle a relationship and school, but you've proved
yourself entirely capable," she explained. "You always did do well with a full plate,
Mr. Overachiever."

I snorted out a laugh at that comment.

"But seriously?" Alice reached out and lightly gripped my arm as her sympathetic

eyes met mine. "I do understand what you're saying, Edward, and I promise you
they're going to love her. Don't fret about it, okay? Now help me pick out a charm."

- 254 -

Alice winked at me and gave my arm a gentle squeeze before turning her full

attention to the shockingly large display of charms. I tried, but failed, to help her
select one. Every suggestion I made, she huffed at me and waved me off. After
spending ten endlessly long minutes loitering by her side, I decided to wander
around and see what else the store had to offer.

I had actually been thinking of buying Bella a necklace to mark our sixth month

anniversary of meeting each other, which would fall on the 30th of the following
month, and this store seemed as good a place as any to do that. I wasn't sure that
buying jewelry was the appropriate way to commemorate the occasion, but I wanted
to do something, and flowers just didn't seem Bella's style. Neither did jewelry
necessarily; it hadn't escaped my notice that she didn't wear much of it. But that
was part of the appeal to me. I wanted to buy Bella something she wouldn't normally
buy for herself. I also wanted her to wear something that I'd given her. In short, I
wanted the world to know she was mine.

Finding Bella a necklace proved more difficult than I thought. There were so many

styles to choose from, and I obsessed over finding one that was perfect for her. I
probably looked at twenty or more possibilities before one finally caught my eye. It
was a platinum and diamond encrusted pendant, and when the sales lady removed it
from the display case and rested it in the palm of my hand, I knew without a doubt
that it was the one.

"It's perfect," Alice murmured, approaching me from behind.

"You think so?"

My voice sounded uncharacteristically small and uncertain, and I cleared my

throat, hoping she hadn't noticed.

"Is that how you feel?" she quietly prompted, and I could do nothing other than

nod my head and smile. "Then it's perfect, Edward. She'll love it."

Alice smiled at me, and I knew I would buy the pendant for Bella. I also knew that

I wouldn't be able to wait a month to give it to her. I was anxious to give it to her
now, but the moment had to be just right. I would wait until Alice went home and
plan our date.

Alice and I made our purchases, and after making a mess of ourselves eating soft

serve ice-cream under the blazing hot sun, we headed home. Emmett was already
there, with a grill brush in hand, scrubbing the charred residue off the grill from our
cookout several weeks before. I could see him through the sliding glass doors,

- 255 -

standing on the patio, and much to my surprise, Rose stood by his side.

"Oh! I didn't realize Rose would be here tonight!" Alice exclaimed.

"Neither did I," I mumbled in irritation.

What the fuck was Emmett thinking? Ever since the last BBQ things had been

tense between Rose and me. I had no idea why she was here tonight.

"Edward? Is everything okay?"

Alice looked up at me in question, and I bit my tongue. I realized she had no idea

about the fiasco the last BBQ had been, and I didn't want to fill her in just now. She
knew nothing of my issues with Rose, and it was best to keep it that way. For
tonight, anyway.

"Everything's fine. It's just more complicated for Bella when there's a lot of

non-signing people around," I replied, offering her what was a best, a half-truth.

Before Alice even replied, I regretted my words. I shouldn't have used Bella as an

excuse.

"You underestimate her, Edward," Alice gently scolded, looking me squarely in the

eye. "I mean, she's been around hearing people her entire life, right? I think she'll
survive one small cookout," she teased before walking around me to grab a bottle of
water out of the fridge. "Lighten up, okay?"

With that, Alice exited the kitchen, heading out onto the patio and leaving me

alone to consider what she'd said. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard the sliding
glass door click open, and I looked up to see none other than Rose making her way
in my direction. She strolled through the living room, stopping short at the entrance
to the kitchen.

"Hey," she greeted me, her tone of voice surprisingly friendly.

"Hey," I answered back, wary. She reminded me too much of Jessica, even though

I knew it wasn't a fair comparison. I just didn't trust her; not after the comments
she'd made the last time we were together.

Rose eyed me cautiously before advancing in my direction.

"Can we talk?"

- 256 -

"What do we have to talk about?" I wondered out loud, causing Rose to sigh.

"I suppose I deserved that."

"Listen, Rose. Now's not the time to…"

She held up her hand, stopping me.

"Edward, please. Just hear me out, okay? I don't want to argue with you. Emmett

invited me over tonight because he thought I might like to see Alice before she left.
That's all. I hope that's all right."

I was quiet for a moment before speaking.

"Well, I guess that depends."

"On what?"

"On whether or not you can treat Bella with respect," I stated bluntly. I wasn't

rude about it, but I definitely wanted to make my point.

"I thought we already covered this," Rose said with an exaggerated sigh, as if I

didn't have any right to be concerned."The morning after the last cookout,
remember?"

"I remember," I replied with a nod of my head. "But the four of us haven't been

together since, so I thought it would be best if I reminded you."

"Well then, consider me reminded," Rose stated, and I couldn't be sure, but it

almost sounded as if she was teasing me, inwardly rolling her eyes.

"I'm not kidding, Rose," I said, feeling my heart rate spike in my chest. The last

thing I wanted was for Bella to feel uncomfortable tonight. I'd put her through that
once before and I didn't intend on doing it again.

Rose's expression sobered and she leveled her eyes at me, acknowledging my

warning with a silent nod.

"I understand, Edward."

"Okay," I said, feeling as if I'd gotten my point across.

- 257 -

We stood there uncomfortably for a few moments more before Rose turned and

walked back outside.

When Bella walked through the door nearly an hour later, she was full of profuse

apologies for being late. She had bumped into Jake, who had a question about a
class she had taken in a previous semester, and one thing had led to another causing
her to be late. I tried hard to smile and pretend that I didn't care, but the truth was I
found myself mildly annoyed that she had been delayed due to Jake.

Kissing her definitely helped ease my jealousy.

*You taste like cilantro,* she commented, signing with her right hand while

keeping her left arm wrapped securely around my waist.

"I made fresh salsa," I said, smiling when Bella licked her lips in excitement.

Unable to resist, I leaned in and kissed her again. While we were otherwise
occupied, I snuck my hand into the chip bowl on the counter nearby, grabbing a chip
and dipping it into the salsa. When Bella pulled away, I popped the chip into her
mouth, taking her by surprise. She laughed as she attempted to chew without
making a mess, and that's when Rose chose to make an appearance. I glared at her,
annoyed by the interruption, but my irritation quickly turned to surprise when Rose
not only smiled and waved at Bella, but also attempted to sign.

{How are you?} she asked, her hands moving tentatively in the air. As if on cue,

Emmett appeared behind her, murmuring assurances in her ear.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged. "Just like that."

To say I was shocked by the effort Rose was making was quite literally the

understatement of the century. I hadn't been expecting this, and I was left
speechless, gawking at Rose as if she'd grown a third eye. Bella, ever the composed
one in our relationship, stepped in on our behalf. It never ceased to amaze me how
she was never lost for words.

*I'm fine, Rose, how are you?* she replied with a warm smile. Rose studied Bella's

hands intently, but she appeared flustered, so Emmett came to her rescue.

"She said she was fine and asked how you are," Emmett explained with a proud

grin.

He was obviously pleased with himself, and I had to say, I was impressed. Where

was all this coming from? I didn't linger too long on that thought. In the end, all that

- 258 -

mattered was both he and Rose were finally making an effort to include Bella.

I looked at Rose, watching her as she very carefully signed the word fine, finally

answering Bella's question. She smiled nervously, but Bella jumped in, reassuring
her she was doing fine. Just then, Alice appeared in the kitchen.

{Hey, why don't we take Rose into the living room and help her practice the

alphabet?} she suggested, signing and speaking at the same time.

Bella looked to Rose, who smiled back at her in return.

*I'd be happy to,* Bella replied. *What do you think, Rose?* I translated for Bella,

and Rose nodded her head, indicating she'd like that. With that, the three girls left
Emmett and me to finish preparations for dinner while they practiced sign language
together in the living room.

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter and good times. The cookout went

much smoother than our last, with everybody contributing to the conversation.
However, despite the fact that Alice relaxed her rule of 'no talking', she stuck mostly
to signing. This meant that she, Bella and I outnumbered Emmett and Rose. The
three of us tried to include them in all our conversations, but as the evening
progressed, I couldn't help but notice there were times when they were left out. And
I wasn't sure whether or not I saw understanding etched on Rose's face partway
through the night, but at the very minimum, I knew she had a better idea what Bella
had to go through on a regular basis. This seemed to cause her to soften towards
Bella even more.

By the end of the evening, when Alice suggested a game of Guesstures, I was

cautiously optimistic that the antagonism between Rose and Bella had finally come
to an end. Rose chose Bella to be her partner, and Bella happily obliged. Of course,
Rose was very competitive, and Bella was obviously the perfect pick for that
particular game, but I tried to give Rose the benefit of the doubt and assume she
had chosen Bella for other reasons.

It was a bittersweet farewell when Bella finally announced it was time to call it a

night. Alice had an early morning flight, and I had to be at the hospital directly after
dropping her off, so for the first time in nearly a week, I kissed Bella goodnight at
my door. I gave her and Alice some time to themselves to say goodbye then, and
when I peeked out the kitchen window, I saw that they were tightly embracing. Alice
smiled warmly at Bella when she let go, leaving her with promises to e-mail as soon
as she got home. My heart warmed over knowing my sister and Bella were now such
good friends.

- 259 -

The following morning, I dropped Alice at Tampa International at half past seven.

"Thanks again for everything," she said as she drew me into a hug.

"It's me who should be thanking you," I replied, squeezing her back tightly.

"Nonsense," she argued. "You've given me a new friend, and for that I'll forever be

grateful." Alice winked at me and I smiled down at her.

"So, when are you going to give Bella her necklace?" she asked, craftily changing

the subject.

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe tonight, but I want to plan something special,

so maybe not. I don't want to wait too long though."

"I wouldn't," Alice agreed. "And just remember," she said, pulling me to her for

one final hug, "It's the sentiment that counts. Don't get hung up on the details, okay?
She's going to love it, I promise."

"Thanks, Short Stuff."

I ruffled her hair and she frowned.

"Stop that. I'm not a little kid anymore," she protested in a half-hearted whine, but

her smile was big and grand on her face, telling me she really liked it.

"Safe flight," I murmured, kissing her temple before she headed through security

to her gate, and with a small wave over the back of her shoulder, Alice disappeared
into the crowd.

Endnotes:

*Well, who would have ever guessed I could write an entire chapter of

fluff? Hard to believe. ;)

*I teleported us back to modern day this chapter. Edward left Alice at

Security this time around, lol.

Rec:

I am crazy wild about Jaxington's Under These Lights. I was a fool for her

other story Hallett Hall, and this newest story of hers is just as good. It's

- 260 -

angsty. Really angsty. But her Edward is all sorts of amazing. She has
seriously written my top two favorite Edwards in this Fandom. Anyway,
check it out. If you like angst, you won't be disappointed. Even if you don't
like angst, it's still worth checking out. There's a certain honesty to her
writing that really tugs at your heart. And her characters grow in such
amazing ways from the start to the finish of her stories.

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 261 -

Declarations

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 21 - Declarations

An interesting thing happened when Alice visited. Bella and I discovered that it

really was possible to communicate effectively without the iPad. Sometimes it took
us longer than usual to have an intelligent conversation, and sometimes there were
misunderstandings, but with hard work and determination on my part and a hell of a
lot of patience on Bella's, we muddled through. I couldn't even begin to verbalize
how liberating it was, to be able to communicate with my girlfriend in her own
language without having to reach for a computer every other sentence. Forcing
ourselves to communicate solely in sign was the best thing we could have done to
help my fluency along.

- 262 -

It was Thursday night, close to a week after Alice left, and I was planning a dinner

for Bella the following evening. I was going to give her the pendant I had picked out
while Alice was in town along with a simple platinum chain I'd purchased to go
along with it. I was surprisingly calm about the whole event, which only served to
reassure me I was doing the right thing.

A text came through from Bella, causing me to panic a little.

*What are you up to?*

I didn't want to lie, but I couldn't exactly tell her I was searching for the perfect

dessert. There was a high probability of failure for this mission, but I wanted to try
nonetheless. Anybody could buy a dessert from a pastry shop, but I wanted to show
Bella she was worth the effort to do more.

Doing some research online.You?

I typed my response, feeling pretty good about myself. I hadn't lied, after all.

*Sitting in class, waiting on the professor to arrive. I'm BORED!*

I wish you were here with me.

*Sigh. Me too.*

Tomorrow night, right? It's been too long.

*5 days. I know.*

I'm sorry. School was hell this week.

*Must have been for you to skip my class. ;)*

Believe me - it was unavoidable. Medical Ethics study group. Big exam

coming up.

*I know. It's okay.*

Am I in a lot of trouble?

*Guess that depends.*

- 263 -

On what?

*On what you're planning to do to make it up to me...*

I like the sound of that…

*Me too. ;) Gotta run. Professor's here.*

Okay. I miss you.

*I miss you too, Green Eyes.*

I set my phone down on the counter, continuing with my research. I was slightly

overwhelmed by my choices and was about to give my mother a call when Emmett
and Rose stepped through the door.

"Hey, bro, what's up?"

"I'm trying to decide on a dessert to make for Bella," I mumbled, scanning over a

recipe for pavlova. "I'm cooking dinner for her tomorrow night."

Emmett barked out a laugh, well aware of the fact that desserts were not my

forte. I could prepare a steak rivaling a five star restaurant, but I was hopeless when
it came to baking.

"All I can say is good luck with that. Maybe Rose has a suggestion."

He opened the door to his bedroom, swiftly swatting her on the ass as he passed

through. "I'll be right out, baby."

Rose jumped, narrowing her eyes at Emmett in annoyance, but the smile that

tugged at her lips told me she didn't really mind. Turning in my direction, she
walked over to where I stood in the kitchen, peering over my shoulder at my iPad.

"Oh, I definitely wouldn't mess with anything like that," she commented, offering

me some unsolicited advice. "Do you know how hard it is to make a good meringue?"

Meringue? I didn't even know what that was.

"What's a meringue?"

"It's essentially whipped egg whites and sugar - but trust me, it's a bitch to make."

- 264 -

"Bella likes fresh fruit. The kiwis and strawberries on top look good," I said,

pointing to the picture online and defending my choice.

"Pavlova is delicious," Rose agreed, "but there's not a chance in hell you won't

screw it up."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I muttered, deciding to momentarily shelve

the pavlova idea in favor of finding something that didn't require as much skill.

"Why not make something like a crème brûlée?" Rose wondered out loud a few

moments later when it was clear I was completely overwhelmed by my choices. "It's
moderately difficult, so you'll definitely impress her, and you could top it with fresh
fruit like the pavlova."

"I like crème brûlée," I said, turning to face her. "How difficult is moderately

difficult?"

"Well, it's kind of a process," Rose admitted, "but I know a recipe that is all but

foolproof. You just need to allow enough time for it to set."

I thought about it for a moment before deciding that crème brûlée sounded like

my best option. I only hoped Rose's fool proof recipe was as easy to follow as she
implied.

"I'm going shopping tomorrow morning. Do you think you can get it to me later

tonight?"

Rose nodded her head.

"Sure. Emmett and I are going out to eat. I'll e-mail it when we get back."

"Great," I said, relieved to have taken care of the issue and grateful to Rose for

her help. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Rose smiled at me before grabbing a copy of Mechanical Engineering from the

counter and going to sit in the living room. Closing my iPad, I followed along behind
her, taking a seat across from her in my favorite Lazy Boy.

"Hey, Rose? Can I ask you a question?"

- 265 -

Peering up at me from behind her magazine, Rose eyed me warily for a moment

before humming an affirmative response.

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

This was something I'd been wondering about ever since the cookout last

weekend. While I was happy that Rose was now putting forth an effort to get to
know Bella, I didn't understand what had changed to make that happen. I worried
that maybe Emmett had pushed her into the decision, and while there wasn't
necessarily anything wrong with that, I didn't want Rose to tolerate Bella simply for
the sake of someone else. I wanted her to get to know Bella because it was
something she desired for herself.

Rose's face grew thoughtful as she carefully considered my words. A few moments

passed before she finally set her magazine down and gave me her full attention.

"That's not a simple question, Edward, and I don't really have a simple answer,"

she began. "But I suppose you could say that Emmett helped me to realize that I was
being unfair to both you and Bella for all the wrong reasons."

"What were your reasons?" I wondered aloud, still at a loss for why Rose had

behaved so callously these past few months. I understood that she wasn't exactly the
most personable of individuals, but even for her, her behavior had been extreme.

Rose sighed, and I could tell that my questions were making her uncomfortable,

but it was also apparent she was willing to try to answer them for me, which I
appreciated.

"I wish I could come up with a better excuse, but in the end, I'd be lying if I said it

didn't come down to my sister."

Tanya. I suspected she was at the root of the issue, but it was still hard for me to

believe that Rose had taken my disinterest in her sister so personally. I had been
upfront with Tanya from the beginning regarding my feelings for her, and both she
and I were fine with remaining just friends. Why couldn't Rose just accept that?

"You were upset because I chose to date Bella instead." It wasn't a question,

rather a statement of fact.

Rose swallowed hard then nodded in agreement.

"Rose," I sighed. "That's incredibly unfair…"

- 266 -

"I know," she interrupted me softly, stopping me before I could continue. "I know

it was wrong of me, but please try to understand my position. Tanya's my baby
sister, Edward, and I love her with all my heart. She's a good girl, but somehow she
always seems to end up with the wrong guys. I know that you and I tend to argue a
lot, but that doesn't change the fact I think you're a good person. I know you would
have treated her right, and I sort of built up the possibility of the two of you in my
head without ever stopping to consider whether or not it's what you wanted. I have a
tendency to do that," she laughed rather humorlessly, "to make decisions for others
on their behalf. But I understand now that you don't feel that way about her and
never have. It was wrong of me to continue to push for something you clearly
weren't interested in. For that I apologize."

"You have a lot more to apologize for than just that, Rose," I pointed out. I

appreciated her attempt at smoothing things over, but I wasn't letting her off the
hook that easily. "You really hurt Bella's feelings with the way you treated her, and
I'm not too proud to admit you hurt mine too. I get that you want the best for Tanya,
but your behavior was out of line. I've always supported you and Emmett, and I
expected the same out of you. Instead, you made Bella and I both feel awkward
around the very people we should feel most comfortable with."

To my surprise, Rose didn't hesitate to agree.

"You're right," she said, bowing her head so that her eyes were no longer level

with mine. She seemed almost ashamed, which was very uncharacteristic of her. "I
didn't treat either one of you very nicely. The truth is, I was upset with you, but I
ended up taking most of it out on Bella."

"You did," I said in agreement.

"For what it's worth, it wasn't intentional," Rose continued quietly. "I didn't

purposely set out to hurt her. It was just hard for me to understand why you'd make
such an effort to date someone who's so different from you when in my mind, Tanya
was a perfect match."

"The thing is, Rose, you don't have to understand. It's my life, not yours. And for

the record, being with Bella is the most effortless thing I've ever done. You want to
know what actually takes effort?"

Rose looked up at me, and I held her gaze for a beat before telling her.

"Trying to convince the people that are most important in my life that Bella is no

different than you and me."

- 267 -

Rose sucked in a short breath, having the decency to look appropriately chagrined

by my comment. She knew my statement referred mainly to her, but in all fairness,
it extended to Emmett and even my mother to some extent.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You're right. I never gave Bella a chance, and that wasn't fair

of me. I wish I could rewind time and change the way I've behaved, but I can't. I can
only try to make things right today. And I promise you, that's my intention from here
on out. I'm not promising you that I'll learn to sign, but I do promise to do my best to
include Bella whenever we're all together."

"That's a start, Rose, and really, it's all I'm asking. It's all I've ever asked. I don't

expect you to learn sign language, but I do think that if you just give Bella a chance,
you'll see that it isn't necessary to know sign language to communicate with her.
Don't you remember how well we all got along last weekend?"

Rose nodded her head.

"It's not always about what we say to each other but how we treat each other

instead," I continued. "It's totally cliché, but actions really do speak louder than
words. Just the simple act of sitting together and watching a movie with subtitles
would be meaningful to both me and Bella. No verbal communication is necessary
for that."

"I hear you," Rose whispered, and looking on at her, studying the thoughtful lines

of her face as she listened to what I had to say, I really felt that she did.

Offering her a half smile, I scrubbed my face with my hands and decided that we

had probably hashed this matter out as much as we needed to tonight. I was pretty
sure we understood each other better now, and I was hopeful that as a result, Rose
and Bella would eventually come to be good friends.

"Thank you," I said, feeling genuinely grateful to have this burden lifted off my

shoulders. I had been carrying it around with me for months now, and it felt good to
finally let it go.

"You're welcome," Rose replied. She stood then, walking over to me and tugging

me up by the hand before pulling me into a hug. Her surprising display of affection
caught me off guard, but when she squeezed me tightly to her, I knew it was her
way of apologizing for the past few months. "Thank you for not kicking my ass clear
across Tampa," she laughed against my shoulder.

I chuckled softly, giving her a gentle squeeze in return.

- 268 -

"You're forgiven."

And I could honestly say that she was.

Less than twenty-four hours after talking things through with Rose, I found myself

slaving away over a hot stove, cursing her under my breath. Whoever said that
crème brûlée was easy to prepare was smoking crack. By some act of God, I'd
managed to separate the egg yolks from the egg whites, afterwards successfully
combining said yolks with heavy cream and freshly scraped vanilla bean. I wasn't as
confident in my ability to cook the resulting mixture in four small ramekins currently
positioned in a shallow pool of water in a pot atop the stove. I also wasn't as
confident in my ability to wield a blowtorch, but apparently this would be necessary
to caramelize the sugar once the custard had set.

Keeping a careful eye on my desert, I set to work chopping vegetables while

simultaneously trying to keep my nerves at bay. I knew I didn't have anything to be
anxious about, but that didn't stop me from worrying. I couldn't help but wonder
what Bella would think of her gift, including whether or not she would return the
sentiment.

I hoped so. God, I fucking hoped so.

As if she were aware of my need for reassurance, she texted me on the spot,

causing me to smile in relief.

*Hey, Green Eyes. T minus 4 hours and counting.*

I smiled at Bella's words. Actually, I smiled like a crazy fool every time she texted

me, which only served to remind me how right she was for me.

Still too long for me.

*Me too. I'm warning you, you'd better be prepared.*

Oh yeah? For what?

*You owe me, remember?*

I seem to have a vague recollection...

*Hey, now, don't tease. I'm sure you're just as anxious to see me as I am

to see you. At least, I hope you are…*

- 269 -

I paused a moment, taken a little off guard by Bella's sudden and unexpected

display of insecurity. Of course I was anxious to see her. Jesus, we'd been apart for
nearly a week, and it was killing me, not to mention my right hand.

Baby, you know I am. How could you even think differently?

*I'm sorry. I've just really missed you this week.*

Me too, sweetheart, me too.

I hit send without giving a second thought to the sentiment I'd just assigned Bella.

It wasn't one I had used before, but when she texted me back with multiple smiley
faces, I knew that she more than approved.

*So I'll see you later tonight at my place?*

I've got your key in my pocket.

*It won't be soon enough.*

I promise you it will be worth the wait. ;) See you soon.

I let myself into Bella's apartment later that evening, after picking up two USDA

Prime filets from the butcher. They were the last thing I needed to complete our
meal. I had brought everything else with me, including two crème brûlées that were
currently tucked safely inside of a cooler.

After placing our dessert in Bella's refrigerator, a sudden thought occurred to me,

and I ran outside to check and see if her grill had enough propane to cook the
steaks. This had been an oversight on my part, and I was about to panic, thinking I
would have to run to the gas station in order to fill the tank when I determined that
wouldn't be necessary. I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly in relief. I really needed
to calm down before I drove myself crazy. Reaching into my pocket, I felt around for
the tiny velvet box I knew was there and ran my fingers over it, reminding myself
what this night was all about. Just then, Bella walked through the front door. She
searched for a moment before her eyes met mine, and when they did, a magnificent
smile illuminated her face.

In a flash I was back inside. I had missed Bella so fucking much this past week

that I couldn't close the distance between us fast enough. She obviously felt the
same because she leapt into my arms, the force of her body slamming into mine and
causing me to stumble backwards a bit. Bella wrapped her arms and legs tightly

- 270 -

around me in response, laughing as I struggled to regain my footing, but neither one
of us were laughing moments later when our mouths came crashing together. All the
longing and desire I'd been forced to suppress all week long came rushing to the
surface, and I was helpless to do anything but give into it.

One hour was too long, one day nearly intolerable. But one week was simply an

impossible amount of time to be parted from the one you loved…

"God, I fucking missed you," I mumbled against Bella's mouth, biting down softly

on her lower lip. I was surprised when she pulled away from me, quickly signing that
she'd missed me too, but before I had a chance to say anything, her hands were in
my hair, eagerly pulling my face back to hers.

I gently pushed her away.

"How did you know?" I wondered.

I was continually amazed by Bella's ability to understand nearly every word I said

despite the fact she couldn't hear. She had seemingly just 'read' my lips, even
though they had been pressed against hers.

*Lucky guess,* she replied with a playful smirk before telling me to shut up and

kiss her.

Bella didn't have to ask me twice. I got lost in her kiss as I gently lowered her feet

to the ground. Walking her backward until she was flush against the wall, I pressed
into her, capturing her sighs in my mouth as her hands twisted up into my hair. The
sensation was fucking amazing, and I closed my eyes, focusing solely on the feelings
of desire licking through me.

I kissed Bella long and hard, my mouth moving in slow motion against hers, but

soon our bodies were begging for more, so I slipped my fingers beneath the hem of
her shirt, inching them slowly upwards. Bella gasped when my thumbs brushed
across the fabric of her bra, and I smirked as her nipples rose to attention
underneath. It was all I could do not to bury my face between her breasts and take
one into my mouth, but I had something else in mind I thought she might like more.

Pulling my mouth from Bella's, I stared down at her in wonder, at her face twisted

tight in anticipation. Her shallow breaths and heavy eyes told me she wanted me,
and in an instant, I was down on my knees in front of her. Bella's eyes opened wide
in surprise when she realized what I was doing, and the guttural sigh that fell from
her lips encouraged me in my actions. Licking my lips in anticipation, I reached out

- 271 -

to slowly unfasten her jeans. Her heaving chest was a noticeable distraction, but
when I sat back on my thighs, anchoring myself before her, I was instantly singularly
focused.

"So fucking perfect," I whispered as my thumbs brushed softly back and forth

against the baby soft skin of her hips. I could have sat there admiring her beauty for
several more minutes, but Bella didn't have patience for that tonight. She knew what
she wanted - my mouth on her right now- and her hands gently guided my head
forward until my tongue was settled snugly between her thighs. She whimpered at
the sensation, and I didn't even try to stifle my groan as I went to work loving her.

I made Bella feel good, so good. I took my time, fucking her with my fingers and

tasting her with my mouth, relishing in every whimper and sigh I drew from her. It
wasn't long before she fell apart around me, and when I sat back on my haunches,
she immediately tugged me upwards, kissing me as if I was the air she needed to
breathe. Soon her hands started to wander, and when she reached out to grip my
rock hard erection through my incredibly uncomfortable pants, I released an
involuntary hiss in response. Fuck, it felt so good to have her touch me like that, but
it felt even better when she reached inside my boxers, slowly stroking me with one
hand while winding the other into the hair at the nape of my neck.

"Yes," I moaned, following along with her as she awkwardly guided us towards her

room. She continued to touch me, and I was afraid I might come in my pants when
the back of her legs hit the edge of her bed and she released me. I watched as she
shyly gazed up at me, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, and then piece by
piece, she slowly started undressing. Her shirt went first, followed by her bra,
underwear and pants until she was standing naked before me. God, she was a vision,
enough to make me tremble in wonder, and I reached out, ghosting my fingers down
her cheek. It was times like these, when I was so lost in the moment that everything
else around me ceased to exist, that I knew what Bella and I had was right.

*Come,* she beckoned to me, pulling me with her as she lay back in the bed. She

giggled softly when my fingers tickled up her waist, but her laughter soon turned to
breathless sighs as I quickly removed my own clothes and slipped inside of her.
Bella's chest rose and fell in labored breaths as I rocked my body languidly against
hers, and as I stared into her eyes, moving rhythmically above her, all I could think
of was how hopelessly in love with her I was.

I wanted to say it - more than anything else in that moment, but the timing wasn't

right. It would ruin my surprise. So instead, I showed her with my body what she
meant to me until I couldn't hold back any longer. With her hands holding me close
to her and her eyes boring straight into my soul, I released inside of her with a

- 272 -

satiated, breathless sigh. Bella followed soon after, arching her back in pleasure as
she found her own sweet release.

After catching our breaths, Bella rolled to my side, and we lay together in bed for

awhile, her body pressed snugly against mine. We were quiet at first, but soon Bella
began tracing lazy circles around my belly button, and my stomach tensed, causing
her to giggle.

Be careful, I warned, moving my arm from around her waist to loosely grip her

hand. You're playing with fire.

Bella chose to ignore me, pulling her hand free to reach down and gently stroke

my returning erection.

Aren't you hungry? I wondered with a laugh as I rolled on top of her, pinning her

body underneath mine. Bella only smiled and shrugged her shoulders before
rotating her hips upwards.

*Hungry for something,* she replied before her hands wrapped firmly around my

bottom. And this is why it took us near to nine to finally crawl out of bed, but I was
certain that neither one of us cared.

After showering and dressing, we ate our dinner outside by the light of a full

moon.

*Who knew you were such a great cook?* Bella commented while dragging a piece

of steak through a puddle of béarnaise sauce. The light evening breeze blew her hair
in her face, and I reached out, tucking it back behind her ear.

Just wait till you see what I've got in store for dessert.

I wagged my brows and Bella arched hers in return, causing me to chuckle softly

at her obvious misunderstanding.

It's in the fridge, I clarified, though I'm open to other suggestions.

*I'm sure you are,* Bella laughed. * What did you make?*

Crème brûlée.

I smiled proudly, quite pleased with my accomplishment. I was happy to see that

Bella appeared duly impressed.

- 273 -

*That's quite a feat. I don't think I've ever made a crème brûlée before.*

Trust me. It's a lot of work. Next time I think I'll stick with something simpler, but

I wanted to prepare something special for you.

Bella set her plate aside, gazing warmly into my eyes.

*Thank you,* she signed, reaching across the table to give my hand a gentle

squeeze. *Tonight has been… perfect.*

In every way, I agreed.

*Hey,* she signed, her face suddenly alight with excitement. *Let's go to the

beach!*

What? I laughed, completely taken off guard by her request. The beach? As in

Clearwater Beach?

Bella jumped up from where she sat, moving quickly to my side. She situated

herself in my lap, bringing her left arm around my shoulder to play with the hair at
the nape of my neck.

*Clearwater or St. Pete, it doesn't matter.*

I glanced down at my watch, noting the time. It was a little before ten, which was

kind of late to be heading to the beach. I didn't mind going, but it would take a solid
forty five minutes to get there and it hadn't exactly been a part of my plan…

It's getting late, I pointed out.

*But it's such a gorgeous night out.*

Bella turned her face into the cool night breeze then, admiring the starlit sky. The

moon shone brightly above us, and I watched as her hair danced about her face. The
peaceful expression she wore warmed me all the way through, and I lay my hand on
her thigh, gently rubbing it back and forth.

I couldn't deny her request, even if I'd wanted to.

If you'd like to, we'll go, I signed with a soft smile.

Actually, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. The beach would

- 274 -

be the perfect place for me to give Bella her pendant - much more romantic than her
apartment. She smiled down at me in appreciation, adding a kiss of thanks to my
lips before hopping down off my lap and starting to clear the dishes from the table.

*I'll load the dishwasher, you bring out dessert, all right?*

I nodded my head in reply.

After sharing a single serving of crème brûlée replete with seasonal berries, we

set out for Clearwater Beach. Because traffic was light, the drive took less time than
expected, and a half hour later we stood hand in hand on the beach. If I'd wondered
before why Bella had wanted to come here tonight, I didn't wonder anymore. Staring
out at the sea as the mighty waves crashed upon the moonlit shore, I couldn't
imagine any place I'd rather be. Sand slipped between my toes, wind tickled my skin
and the smell of salty ocean air surrounded me, awakening each of my senses.

When I turned to look at Bella, she was positively stunning, her body humming

with excitement just like mine. Then she did something that took me entirely by
surprise; she sunk to her knees and stretched forward, slowly splaying her hands
out in front of her. Digging her fingers into the sand, her body stilled, the only
remaining movement being the nearly imperceptible expansion and contraction of
her chest as she inhaled and exhaled the surrounding air. She remained at rest for
over a minute before I cleared my throat, causing her to look up at me and offer a
bashful smile.

What are you doing? I signed, smiling down at her in curiosity.

Bella didn't answer me with words. Instead, she tugged gently on my hand until I

joined her by her side. Mimicking her position, I lowered my head to the ground.
The sound of the waves crashing down upon the shore echoed in my ears, but it was
the earth that trembled beneath me that most caught my attention. And in that
moment, it was instantly clear what Bella was doing. She was listening to the ocean
the only way she knew how, through the vibrations of the waves as they connected
with the shore. I looked over at her, as thrilled by the sensation as she was, and
found myself laughing more freely than I had in years.

That's incredible, I signed, shaking my head in wonder.

Bella nodded knowingly, a glimmer of exhilaration lighting her eyes. She took my

hand in hers then, linking us together as we experienced the world on her terms. We
stayed kneeling with our hands intertwined and our heads to the ground for several
long minutes before I finally sat up, pulling Bella with me. She smiled at me as we

- 275 -

seated ourselves across from each other, our legs folded together like pretzels, and I
knew that there would never be a more perfect moment for me to give her my gift.

*I have something for you,* I told her as I reached inside my pocket, withdrawing

the small rectangular box.

Bella eyed me carefully, her brows pulling together in curiosity as she studied the

object in my hand. I shifted closer to her so that our knees were touching, and,
taking a deep breath, slid my fingers along the top of the box, tugging it open. Bella
stared down at the pendant in awe, her hand traveling to her mouth as the breath
caught in the back of her throat. Her eyes started to water at the sight of it, and for
the second time since I'd known her, I watched as one tear followed by another
silently slipped from her eyes. They were happy tears, splashing onto her fingers
and into the box as her trembling hand reached out to touch the pendant. Her finger
lovingly traced over the recognizable design, the ASL symbol for I Love You, and
when her eyes finally found their way back up to mine, they were full of intensity
second only to my own.

"I love you," I whispered, verbalizing the sentiment as my hand came up to cradle

the side of Bella's face. She exhaled a soft, shaky sigh and ever so slowly, pulled her
hand from her lap.

*I love you too.*

Watching her sign the words back to me caused me to release a breath I didn't

even realize I was holding, though it wasn't relief that caused me to do so; I had
known for quite some time that what Bella and I shared could only be labeled as
love. What moved me so was the knowledge that I had won the heart of the woman I
had never even known I needed, and now that I had her I didn't intend on ever
letting her go.

My thumb gingerly stroked across the smooth skin of her cheek as I leaned

forward and rested my forehead against hers. Soon our mouths were melded
together, and I kissed her deeply, there by the ocean, surrounded by the deep, dark
night. Her arms wound around me, her hands gently caressing the back of my neck,
but when I tried to roll over and lay down with her, she stopped me, holding her
necklace out in front of her.

*Will you?* she asked with nothing more than a questioning gaze, and I nodded in

response, taking the token of my love from her hands. Moving behind her, I took
care to pull her hair to the side before gingerly stringing the necklace around her
neck. Afterwards, I bent to kiss either shoulder, and she shivered under my touch,

- 276 -

her skin coming alive at the feel of my lips. This time when I pulled her down on top
of me, she didn't try to resist.

"I love you," I said, again, because I could. And now that I could, I planned on

telling her all the time. I wanted Bella to feel forever beloved and cherished, all the
things she so deserved to be. Without pause, her hand hovered above me, returning
the declaration in kind, and I reached up, clasping it in mine and tugging it down to
my heart. It beat heavy and hard inside of my chest, and Bella smiled at the feel of it
as she leaned in to press her lips to mine.

We lay together under the stars until well past midnight when the wind and the

cold became too much. Bella fell asleep in the car on the ride home, and I woke her
with a kiss when we arrived. She smiled sleepily up at me as I pulled her to my side
and led her indoors.

She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when I noticed it; it was a rather

innocuous piece of paper to be sure. But something about it caught my eye and
whether it was right or wrong, I slipped it from the hidden confines of a notebook
that lay atop Bella's desk. At first I thought I was reading wrong, because surely she
would have told me, but when I double checked my watch, I saw that the date was
correct, and I was left feeling angry and bewildered.

I heard the door creak open, and I turned around facing Bella with the paper in

hand.

What's this? I signed, and Bella's nervous expression told me everything I needed

to know. I wasn't going to like what I was about to hear.

Endnotes:

I apologize for the long delay in updating. My daughter had her tonsils

and adenoids out and my husband was in town for several weeks. Hope you
all are still with me! For those who like to keep track of these types of
things, we're about 2/3 through this story. Thanks for hanging in there!

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 277 -

Immersion

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 22 - Immersion

Bella was nervous, which made me nervous, because she was never nervous. At

least not normally. She was the calm, cool and collected one in our relationship, so
why were her eyes anxiously shifting about?

And why were they now narrowing at me in accusation?

*Why were you going through my things?*

I wasn't, I scrambled to explain, feeling a lot guiltier than I should. It's not like I

- 278 -

was snooping around; I'd simply happened to notice a flyer tucked into a book on
her desk. I saw the heading on this paper and decided to have a look.

I waved the flyer in front of her, but it wasn't necessary. Bella knew exactly what I

held in my hand.

What's this about? I asked. I tried hard to remain even tempered, but I didn't

understand why Bella would keep something like this from me.

She shrugged, her demeanor quickly shifting from suspicion to nonchalance.

*It's nothing,* she replied, trying to appear as casual as possible, as if she hadn't

deliberately withheld something important from me. *Just a small deaf gathering.*

That much was obvious. Printed in bold letters the flyer read:

BAY AREA DEAF

Monthly Meet-Up

Time: 7:30 P.M.

Date: Saturday, April 15

Location: Starbucks on North Dale Mabry

What I wanted to know was whether or not Bella planned on attending this event,

scheduled for tomorrow evening, and if she did, had she planned on asking me to go
with her? My eyes locked with hers, full of hope that she had simply forgotten to
mention it to me, but when she stared back at me, her face plagued by anxiety and
guilt, I knew that wasn't the case.

It was a strange mix of emotions that gripped me when I realized that Bella had

been presented with the perfect opportunity to introduce me to her friends and had
chosen not to take it. She knew I was interested in meeting them. She knew how
important it was for me to be included in that part of her life, but she always seemed
to hold back, keeping me at arm's length, and I had no idea why.

Bella?

I didn't physically sign her name but I didn't need to. My face, heavy with

disappointment and confusion, said it all.

- 279 -

*What do you want me to say?* she finally signed in exasperation.

I want to know why you didn't tell me.

*I'm not going,* she signed, almost defiantly, and while it was somewhat of a relief

knowing she hadn't planned on going without me, it still didn't answer my question.

You could have at least mentioned it to me.

*I didn't mention it because it's not important, all right?* Bella huffed. *It's just

some silly get together. We're both so busy with school right now, and in case you've
forgotten, you work at the hospital tomorrow. I just figured we'd both be tired.
That's all.*

Are those really the reasons why? I pressed. Because it feels like a bunch of

excuses.

*Why are you making such a big deal out of this?* Bella shot back, surprising me

with the intensity of her emotions. She was upset. Really upset. Her breathing was
labored and her jaw was clenched tight and she was staring at me as if I had done
something wrong.

I was dumbfounded by her behavior. Didn't she think it strange that after nearly

six months together, the only friend of hers I had met was Jake? This gathering
would have been the perfect opportunity for me to meet more of her friends, but she
was brushing it off as meaningless. Meanwhile, I had introduced her to most
everyone who was important in my life.

That was when it hit me… and it hit me hard. All the time we'd been together, she

had made very little effort to immerse me in her world. Sure, I'd learned to sign, but
that was accomplished within the framework of the hearing world. Her world - the
world of the deaf was still completely foreign to me, and it seemed like Bella wanted
to keep things that way. She'd been shutting me out all along, and I never even
realized it until now.

I didn't know what to say, so I stood there quietly, hands by my side, not saying

anything at all. I willed them to move, to at least say something, but I was entirely
without words. My inability to fashion any sort of response must have worried Bella
because one moment she was standing across the room in the doorway and the next
she was directly in front me, her shaky hand outstretched as she tentatively reached
for mine. I let her take hold of me because God, I desperately needed to feel close to
her again. Somehow, in the course of less than an hour, I'd moved from declaring

- 280 -

my love for her to harboring doubts about our relationship, and that scared the hell
out of me.

We stood together quietly for a moment, taking comfort in each other's nearness

before I gathered the courage to ask a question that needed to be asked. I wasn't
sure how Bella would react to it, but I didn't care. I needed to know why she was
shutting me out.

Why don't you want me to meet your friends?

My question was blunt, and Bella visibly winced at my words, her sad eyes slowly

rising to meet mine. Out of nowhere, she pulled me into a fierce hug, and though it
took me by surprise, I hugged her back, folding her into my arms and squeezing her
tight. She rested her head in the center of my chest for a long moment, and I placed
my head on top of hers, running my hands gently up and down her back in a
soothing motion. Eventually, she pulled away, and when she looked back up at me, I
was glad to see some of the tension and fight in her was gone. Bella didn't want to
argue anymore than I did, and I was hopeful that now that we'd let off a little steam,
we would both be able to discuss the issue as two intelligent adults.

*It's not that I don't want you to meet my friends,* Bella sighed, reaching out to

stroke her fingers overtop my heart. *It's not like that.*

Then tell me what it's like, I implored with both my hands and my eyes. Why are

you shutting me out? I don't understand.

*I'm not doing it on purpose,* she tried to defend. *It's just… complicated.*

In what way?

When Bella didn't answer right away, I reached out to her, gingerly taking her

hand in mine and leading her over to the bed. I crawled into the center with her,
pulling her into a sitting position with me so that we faced each other, legs crossed
in front of us. Rather than wait for her to reply, I spoke again, deciding on a
different approach to our conversation.

I want to meet your friends, I signed, thinking it best I make my wishes clearly

known.

Up until now, I had just assumed that Bella realized how important this was to me,

but it occurred to me that maybe she didn't. We had only really discussed this
matter once, when she'd gone out to lunch with some of her deaf friends in Orlando.

- 281 -

The topic hadn't been brought up again since, which I supposed was just as much
my fault as hers. I should have said something about it before it came to this point.

*I want you to meet them too,* Bella assured me. *But the truth is I'm not sure

how accepting they'll be,* she admitted with a heavy sigh.

Of our relationship?

Bella nodded.

Why not? I wondered, fighting to dampen the dread that was slowly creeping into

my gut.

Bella hung her head.

*They're not very fond of hearies,* she signed, and with that one simple

admission, everything fell into place.

Do they even know about me?

*Some of my friends in Orlando do,* she hedged.

And here in Tampa?

Bella shook her head.

I stared at her blankly, uncertain of what to think about that. All my friends, all my

family... they all knew about her. I couldn't think of any reason why her friends
wouldn't know about me other than…

Bella, are you embarrassed by me?

It killed me to ask that question, but it was the only reason I could come up with

that would explain why she hadn't told her friends about me.

Her eyes flew to mine.

*What? No! Of course not. How could you even think that! I love you, Edward,*

she signed,and the look clearly reflected in her eyes told me it was true. She loved
me. Bella loved me and God knows I loved her too.

I love you to, I signed back, my hand hovering between us.

- 282 -

Bella stared at it, studying it intently as her lips started to quiver. She closed her

eyes, fighting back tears and struggling to gain control over her emotions, but even
though every part of who I was wanted to gather her into my arms and hold her
tight, I gave her a moment to collect herself instead. Regardless of how hard this
was on the both of us we needed to hash this matter out tonight. It would do us no
good to leave it until later.

Are you okay? I asked when she finally opened her eyes.

Bella sighed.

*I am. It's just… this is such a mess.*

It doesn't have to be. I just want to understand why your friends don't know about

me.

*It's not what you're thinking, Edward. The truth is I haven't seen most of them

since before Christmas. That's the primary reason why they don't know about you. It
has nothing to do with being ashamed of you. I could never be ashamed of you.*

You haven't seen them?

This surprised me. I knew how important being a part of the deaf community was

to Bella. It was the principal reason she'd moved to Florida…

She shook her head.

If you don't mind me asking, why not?

*I could make up excuses and say I've been busy, but in all honesty, I'm not really

that close with most of them.*

"Oh," I murmured, once again surprised by her answer. I just assumed that

because...

Bella interrupted me with a soft squeeze to my knee.

*You assumed that because I'm deaf, most of my close friends would be deaf too,*

she signed, finishing my thought for me.

I nodded in reply and Bella sighed.

- 283 -

*I get it, Edward. I really do. But that's not the case. Not that I don't enjoy

hanging out with them, but over the years I've come to realize I think differently
than a lot of them. I don't feel like we have very much in common anymore, other
than the fact that we can't hear, and that's not enough. It's just not enough. So in
general, I don't go out of my way to attend meet-ups. It has nothing to do with you
and everything to do with me.*

Okay, I signed. I understand.

*Do you?*

You're saying you've grown apart…

*Something like that.*

We were quiet for a moment.

So I guess that settles it then. You're not interested in going.

Bella sighed, her eyes holding mine for a beat before answering.

*Do you really want to?*

I perked up a bit at her question, having assumed the matter was already settled.

Cautiously, I nodded my head.

I do.

*It won't be easy,* she warned, but that didn't matter to me. It certainly wasn't

anything that would prevent me from going.

It's okay, I assured her. I think I can hold my own.

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, a teasing glint in them.

*You're awfully confident…*

I shrugged.

Your friends may think they know hearies, but they don't know me.

My comment caused Bella to grin, and I breathed a sigh of relief as the tension in

- 284 -

the room slowly started to dissipate.

*No, they don't,* she agreed, reaching out to stroke my cheek. I pulled her down

with me onto the bed where she rested her head on my chest. We held each other
for a moment before Bella lifted herself up on one arm. Leaning in, she pressed her
lips to mine.

"So you're really willing to go?"

She regarded me thoughtfully for a moment before slowly nodding her head. I

brought her face back to mine, kissing her soundly in appreciation.

"You're tired," I murmured when she pulled away. She was fighting a yawn.

*You are too.*

I couldn't deny that I was, but I was glad that we had talked things through.

Although I still felt there was more that needed to be discussed, Bella had agreed to
go to the gathering which was at least a step in the right direction. Pulling her to
me, I grazed her temple with my lips. I felt her body sag against mine, and I didn't
even care that the light to the room was still on. I covered us up with the blanket
and settled my arms around Bella's waist, pulling her close.

"I love you," I murmured, pressing my lips to her temple and nuzzling her cheek

with my nose.

She didn't need to see me to know what I was saying. Her hand settled over my

heart, her pinky, forefinger and thumb rubbing slowly back and forth, silently
relaying the same.

*I love you too.*

The following evening, I rushed to complete all my tasks at the hospital so that I

could get out of there a few minutes early. Bella had dropped me off in the morning,
and after consuming what must have been close to a half gallon of coffee, I was able
to focus on my work. Thankfully, the day was busy, which was always better for
keeping me active and alert. When seven o'clock rolled around, I grabbed a power
bar from the vending machine and stood outside the hospital doors, waiting for Bella
to pick me up.

She arrived at quarter past seven, driving my car. I jogged around to the driver's

side door, greeting her with a brief kiss to the lips.

- 285 -

*How was your day?*

It was long, but we were busy so it passed by faster than I expected.

*You look tired,* she commented, reaching up to trace her finger underneath my

eyes. *Are you sure you want to go tonight? There are other gatherings you know.*

I narrowed my eyes at her and she laughed softly.

*Before you go accusing me of anything, I'm not trying to get out of going. I just

don't want you to overdo it.*

Thank you for your concern, but I drank enough coffee to fill an Olympic sized

pool today. I think I'll be okay.

I winked at her and she rolled her eyes, but she accepted my decision without

argument. Walking around to the other side of the car, she climbed into the
passenger seat and we were on our way.

Forty-five minutes later, I stood amongst several dozen Deaf people in Starbucks

knowing one thing to be true: Bella had been very patient with me all these months.
Extremely patient was more like it. While I had honestly thought I could claim to be
at least somewhat fluent in sign, my experience tonight taught me otherwise. I still
had a long way to go. In fact, I could barely hold my own. Hands were moving
through the air with impossible speed, discussing everything from politics to
families to work place woes while I struggled just to tell everybody my name.

Part of my sluggishness could obviously be attributed to nerves. Bella wasn't

kidding when she said her friends might not be accepting of me. While none of them
had been outright rude, they hadn't welcomed me with open arms either. They
certainly didn't make any grand attempts to include me in the conversations. To be
honest, they seemed rather indifferent to my presence. So it was that in a sea full of
people I felt incredibly alone, and I wondered, was this how Bella had felt for most
of her life? The thought simultaneously saddened and humbled me. She was so much
stronger than I had ever given her credit for, and that was saying a lot because she
was probably the strongest person I knew.

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Bella tried her best to include me.

When we first arrived, she was hardly ever a step away. She introduced me to all of
her friends and was her usual patient self when I attempted to contribute to the
conversation. But the reality was I couldn't keep up, so after a while I encouraged
her to spend time with her friends and not worry about me. I knew that she hadn't

- 286 -

seen most of them in a very long time, and I wanted her to have this opportunity to
reconnect with them. Bella was initially reluctant to leave my side; she knew better
than anyone else what it felt like to be excluded. But I insisted I would be fine, and
despite her tenacity, she eventually gave in to my wishes.

I watched her as she mixed and mingled, scolding her with a teasing frown every

time she tried to make her way back to my side. I appreciated her loyalty, but I was
learning almost as much in my role as a bystander as I would if I were an active
participant in the conversations.

I learned that it was possible for my admiration for the woman I loved to grow

tenfold within the course of an hour. Somehow, she managed to slide from one
world into another as if it were the easiest thing to do.

I learned that it brought me immeasurable happiness to watch her when she was

truly in her element, effortlessly communicating with others in her own language, so
happy and full of life. Even though she said she had grown apart from many of her
Deaf friends, she was alive in a way I hadn't seen before, and I could only assume it
was because she was spending time with them.

I also learned what it was like to feel like an outsider looking in, longing to feel

like a part of a larger group but knowing I would always be different. Bella was a
deaf woman trying to make her way in a predominantly hearing world, a world that
didn't go out of its way to include someone that was different. I was a hearing man,
eager to be included in the world of the Deaf, Bella's world, a world that like my own
didn't go out of its way to include someone that was different.

All these thoughts and more filled my head as I watched the love of my life move

about the room. So lost in them was I that I jumped when I felt a tap on my
shoulder. Bella slid an arm around my waist, giggling at my reaction. She smiled up
at me, arresting me with her warm brown eyes. I loved the way she looked at me –
as if no one else existed. She loved me just as I loved her, and that simple
knowledge made me smile. I leaned in, brushing my lips against the whisper soft
hair that framed the edges of her face and she squeezed me tight in return before
motioning towards an older woman standing a few feet away. I immediately
recognized her as one of the people Bella had been signing with tonight. She looked
to be in her late 40s and was very attractive, her long brown hair and laid back style
similar to Bella's in so many ways.

"Hi, I'm Kate," she greeted me warmly, offering me her hand. I was so shocked to

hear her speak that for a moment, I forgot my manners. Thankfully, I quickly
recovered, taking her hand in mine and shaking it firmly before letting go.

- 287 -

I'm Edward, I signed before glancing to my side where Bella stood. She was

tapping me on my shoulder again, trying to catch my attention.

*Kate's hearing,* she told me. *It's not necessary to sign if you don't want to.*

Oh. That certainly explained the perfect English.

*Kate's on old friend. Her husband, Garrett, taught at the FSDB when I was a

student,* Bella explained. *I thought you might enjoy meeting her.*

"Bella's told me all about you," Kate chimed in. "I couldn't wait to meet the man

that finally managed to win her heart."

Kate winked, Bella blushed, and I stood by as pleased as could be. Finally, there

was someone else besides Alice who seemed genuinely happy for Bella and me. Kate
didn't appear to have any reservations about our relationship. There were no
uncomfortable pauses in conversation, no speculative once-overs and no
disapproving stares - just acceptance. It didn't seem to matter to her that I was
hearing and Bella was deaf. And it was so fucking nice.

"It's truly a pleasure so meet you, Kate. I've won Bella's heart, and I intend on

keeping it," I said, turning on the charm. That didn't change the fact that every word
I said was true.

Kate threw her head back in laughter and Bella stood up on tiptoe, kissing me on

the cheek.

*It's yours to keep,* she signed before telling me to enjoy my conversation with

Kate and disappearing back into the crowd. I was a little disappointed she didn't
stay, but then again, we had limited time here tonight and I wanted her to enjoy
what was left of it with her friends.

Turning back to Kate, I asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee. She seemed very

friendly, and truth be told, I thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to for
a few minutes.

"I'd love to," she said, accepting my invitation with a wide smile.

After making our purchases, we headed outside onto the terrace where it was less

crowded. We took a seat at a small table and started talking.

It didn't take me long to figure out exactly why Bella had introduced me to Kate.

- 288 -

The woman was a seemingly endless source of information about the Deaf, and I sat
in rapt attention across from her, soaking up every detail I could. What most
interested me was the fact that her husband, Garrett, was deaf. Like me, Kate was
on the hearing end of a hearing/deaf relationship.

"You know, I stopped referring to my relationship with Garrett as a hearing/deaf

relationship a long time ago," Kate commented after taking a sip of her coffee. My
own sat beside me, all but forgotten.

"Really? Why is that?"

"I think cross-cultural relationship better describes what we have," she answered

with a small shrug.

I considered that quietly for a moment. I was familiar with the term Deaf culture;

it was one that Bella sometimes used, but I'd never really stopped to consider what
it meant.

"It's true, you know," Kate continued, interrupting my thoughts. "The Deaf have a

culture all their own. They have their own language, their own ideologies and their
own customs. And if you haven't already noticed, most individuals who are hearing
impaired are Deaf first; all other identifying characteristics generally fade to black.
They're simply unimportant."

"You really think so?" I asked, not seeing the situation as being quite so black and

white. "At least in my experience, Bella isn't like that. She doesn't define herself as
Deaf; it's more of a physical condition for her than anything else."

"Well there are certainly exceptions," Kate agreed. "And you're right. Bella isn't

exactly what I would consider strictly Deaf. She doesn't see herself as belonging to
one community over the other. But make no mistake, Edward. Being Deaf is a part of
who Bella is, and it extends far beyond a physical impairment."

"I suppose there could be some truth to that," I reluctantly admitted. "To be

honest, she doesn't really talk about it much."

I was quiet for a moment as I considered the deeper meaning of my words. What

did being deaf really mean to Bella? Did she identify more with the Deaf community
than I originally thought? Had I just blindly assumed she felt most comfortable in my
world, the world of the hearing, simply because she'd adapted to it so well? These
were things I should have known about my girlfriend, but for some reason or
another we had never really discussed them, at least not in depth, and I couldn't

- 289 -

help but wonder why.

I raised my head, looking Kate directly in the eye.

"Bella didn't want to come here tonight."

I wasn't sure this was something I should be discussing with Kate, but the words

just seemed to slip from my lips. I thought that maybe she could lend a little insight
into Bella's behavior.

She didn't look surprised.

"Bella tries hard to balance herself between two worlds, Edward. It's not always

easy for her."

"I don't suppose dating a hearing man makes it any easier, does it?" I wondered

aloud, worried our relationship might be causing Bella to turn her back on an
important part of who she was.

"I wouldn't say that," Kate said, her voice soft and reassuring. "Bella obviously

cares a great deal for you."

"Then why does she seem reluctant to share such an important part of herself with

me?"

I had to ask because I didn't believe it was solely a result of Bella's claims that she

wasn't close to many of her Deaf friends anymore.

"I believe that's a question best left to Bella," Kate replied, making me feel guilty

for even asking. She was right. I should be asking Bella these questions and not her,
but it was so difficult to pull information from Bella sometimes, and Kate seemed to
have experience I sorely lacked. "But I could venture a guess and say that part of
her wants to protect you."

That comment caught my attention.

"Protect me?"

"She doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable, Edward," Kate clarified. "She knew

what would happen if the two of you came here tonight. She knew it would be hard
for you."

- 290 -

"It has been difficult," I admitted, "but it isn't necessary for her to worry about me

like that. Bella knows I can hold my own. I can take care of myself."

A knowing smile tugged at Kate's lips.

"Ah, but don't you worry about her the same way?"

I opened my mouth to argue, but I realized that Kate had a valid point.

"Touché," I replied with a reluctant smile. "I do worry about her same way. No

sense in denying that. I suppose when you love someone, the desire to protect them
is something you can't easily escape, can you?"

Kate shook her head.

"I just wish it was easier for us," I lamented with a sigh. "Like it seems to be for

you," I added. "How do you do it, anyway? Everyone here seems to accept you. You
look like you belong, unlike me."

Kate's face was kind as she regarded me sympathetically.

"You have to remember I've been married to a deaf man for over twenty years,

Edward. You're only just meeting everybody for the first time tonight. As hard as it
is, you have to try to be patient and give Bella's friends some time to learn to trust
you. Really, that's true for all people, regardless of whether or not they're hearing or
deaf."

"I suppose. I guess I just didn't expect for it to be so difficult. I don't feel like

anybody's even giving me a chance. I thought that at the very least, people might try
to get to know me, if not for my sake then for Bella's."

Kate nodded her head in understanding.

"It was a reasonable expectation, Edward. But here's the thing," she said, shifting

in her seat so that she was facing me straight on.

"When the Deaf come together in a group like this, they don't necessarily want to

spend time signing slowly so that people like us, hearies as they like to call us, can
understand. Think about it from their perspective. They spend many of their waking
hours surrounded by people who speak a different language. Can you really
begrudge them the opportunity to spend quality time in an environment where they
don't have to struggle to make themselves understood? Generally speaking, the

- 291 -

hearing world doesn't make accommodations for them, so why should they make
accommodations for you?"

"But is that really all it's about?" I wondered, because while I understood that it

was frustrating for Bella's friends to make accommodations for me, it seemed like
there was more to their detached demeanors than simply this. There was wariness
on many of their parts… almost bordering on suspicion that really bothered me. I
told Kate so, then immediately grimaced. I shouldn't be saying things like that. At
the very minimum, comments like those made me sound paranoid.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Maybe I'm reading too much into things," I said, trying

to dismiss my comment.

Kate fell silent for a moment, her eyes fixing on a far off point, giving me the

impression she was deep in thought. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet.

"Maybe, maybe not."

I looked up at her, surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"Listen, Edward, I don't presume to know what everybody here is thinking tonight,

but I can tell you there's a strong possibility that many of them have already started
presuming certain things about your relationship with Bella."

Kate's words were cryptic.

"I'm sorry," I said, confused. "I don't think I understand…"

"Let me put it this way," Kate said, meeting my questioning gaze. "From the

moment you and Bella walked through the door, people were sizing you up. They
were observing the two of you together –the gentle touches, tender gazes and warm
smiles. It's obvious the two of you are serious, which means some of them are
probably wondering what might happen if you were to marry and have children."

I choked on a sip of coffee. It was a completely involuntary reaction that couldn't

be helped considering those were the last words I was expecting to hear.

"I… I'm sorry," I was able to get out once I'd finally managed to compose myself.

"I just wasn't expecting…"

- 292 -

"You weren't expecting me to say something like that," Kate finished for me. "It's

okay, I don't imagine you were."

"It's not that I don't care for Bella in that way," I hastened to explain, not wanting

Kate to think this wasn't a possibility for us one day. "But we haven't even been
together six months, so marriage and children aren't exactly on our radar. Besides,
I'm not sure that's anybody's business but our own."

Kate nodded quietly, her features thoughtful and understanding as she listened to

what I had to say.

"In a perfect world, you'd be right, Edward. But I promise you there's a reason

why some of the people here feel like it is their business."

Yeah... nosiness, I thought to myself, though I wouldn't say it out loud. I didn't

know how involved Kate was with the Deaf community, and I didn't want to offend
her. Instead, with a pointed look in her direction, I invited her to continue speaking.

"They'll feel like it's their business because if you and Bella were to have children,

there's a chance they wouldn't learn how to sign."

"What?" I stared at Kate with my mouth agape. "That's the most ridiculous thing

I've ever heard. Of course they'd learn how to sign! How else would they
communicate with Bella?"

Kate shrugged.

"Bella reads lips. You could act as an interpreter and there are always computers,

handwritten notes... the list goes on and on. The point is, with one hearing parent it
wouldn't technically be necessary for a child to learn how to sign."

"Oh come on," I said with an exaggerated sigh. "Do you really think Bella would be

okay with that? Because she wouldn't, and neither would I for that matter. If we
were to marry and if we were to have kids, you can be damn sure they'd know how
to sign."

"And what if you had a child that was born deaf? Would you teach that child to

sign too?"

Kate wasn't challenging me. In fact, her tone was anything but. She was simply

trying to help me see how others might view me. It was an eye opening experience,
to say the least.

- 293 -

"Well, if we taught any of our children that were hearing to sign, I think it goes

without saying we'd teach a child that was born deaf to sign too."

"Don't be so sure of that, Edward. You'd be surprised how much pressure there is

to fit deaf children with cochlear implants. If done at an early enough age, there are
some that argue that learning ASL could interfere with the child's ability to learn
English."

"What? Why? That doesn't make any sense…"

"I'm not saying they're right, Edward. In fact, I'm of the opinion they're completely

wrong. I'm just pointing out reasons why you might not teach your children to sign."

I sighed, shutting my eyes and shaking my head. I didn't know what to say

anymore. What could I say? The truth was I hadn't even begun to consider all these
hypothetical situations, yet others already felt comfortable speculating what my
decisions regarding these situations might be. It was giving me a headache.

"Why does everyone care so much, anyway? What difference does it make?" I

finally asked once I'd opened my eyes again.

"It makes more of a difference than you might think," Kate quietly stated. "There

are a lot of people that worry that ASL is an endangered language. With cochlear
implants and an emphasis on oral communication, fewer and fewer people are
learning to sign. Because of this, some Deaf fear the death of their culture, Edward -
their rich and beautiful culture."

"Wow. This is all just…"

I couldn't find the to describe what I was feeling right then. The logical part of me

said it was ridiculous that after knowing me for less than an hour, people were
marrying Bella and me off and assuming we'd give birth to children who didn't sign.
But there was also a part of me that understood what Kate was saying. Bella's
friends - the Deaf community as a whole, didn't want to lose their identity, nor did
they want to lose the very thing that defined them apart from their inability to hear -
the beautiful language they spoke with their hands.

Sign language.

"I'm sorry," Kate said, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "I didn't

mean to overwhelm you and I certainly didn't intend for this conversation to turn so
serious. I just want you to understand where some of Bella's friends are coming

- 294 -

from, that's all. There are reasons why many of them act the way they do."

"So, in short, it seems there's little chance they'll ever accept me," I said with a

humorless laugh.

Much to my surprise, Kate shook her head.

"Actually, that's not the case at all. What I'm saying is that you need to give them

time. Time to get to know you. Time to see that you're in love with Bella and you
embrace their culture and who they are. These are all good people, Edward. They
really are. In time, I've no doubt you'll be an honorary member of the Deaf
community, just like me. You just need to be patient."

Kate winked at me and I managed to muster a smile for her in return. I was

grateful to her for all her wisdom and expertise, but this conversation had given me
a lot to digest and I needed a break. Scanning the thinning crowd for Bella, I caught
her eye and waved at her, offering her a tender smile. She waved back and
immediately starting making her way in my direction.

*You two having fun?* she signed as she approached. She moved to sit in the chair

beside me but I pulled her into my lap instead. This elicited a wide grin from Kate
and a playful smirk from Bella.

What? I innocently signed. I missed you.

Bella's face grew thoughtful as she pushed her hand through my hair.

I missed you too, she signed back.

Not wanting for Kate to feel left out, Bella turned in her direction and asked if

we'd had a nice talk.

Kate nodded in reply.

{I think I've given Edward some things to think about,} she signed with a smile.

Bella turned curious eyes on me, and I assured her I would explain everything later.
And I did, much later, after I'd made love to her several times over in my bed.

*Kate really talked your ear off tonight,* Bella commented with a little laugh. We

lay together in the dark, the ambient light of the moon making it so we could easily
communicate with each other without having to turn on the lights.

- 295 -

She did, I agreed. She provided an interesting perspective on the Deaf community.

She made me consider some things I hadn't given much thought to before, I
admitted.

Bella sighed.

*I hope she didn't scare you off.*

Nothing could scare me away from you.

I leaned in,nuzzling Bella's nose before pressing my lips softly against hers. She

held my face tenderly between both her hands, but I couldn't help but note a hint of
worry in her eyes.

I'm serious, Bella, I reaffirmed, not wanting her to worry.

*I know you are,* she sighed. I just wish the evening had played out differently. I

know it wasn't much fun for you.*

That's not true…

*Edward,* Bella warned, chastising me gently with her gaze.

I chuckled softly.

Okay, I admit it doesn't make my top ten, but you warned me ahead of time. I

knew what I was getting into.

*I just wish you wouldn't have insisted I run around and talk to everybody tonight.

I would have preferred to stay with you.*

Bella reached out, dragging a single finger down the center of my chest. I grabbed

it, bringing it to my lips and kissing the tip.

I know, and I appreciate it, but whether you agree with me or not, I think it was

important for you to spend time with your friends. If you could have seen yourself
through my eyes tonight, you might better understand.

Bella held my gaze, nodding knowingly. I didn't need to say anything more.

*Would you believe me if I said things will get better? I mean, in the long

run…You won't always be considered an interloper.*

- 296 -

My eyes opened wide at Bella's use of the word interloper, but the twinkle in her

eye told me she was only teasing.

"Interloper, huh?"

Bella giggled in delight as I rolled on top of her, pressing myself between her

thighs.

*My interloper,* she corrected with a soft smile.

"My everything," I breathed beside her ear in return, and moments later I was

inside of her.

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

*It should go without saying that I have the utmost respect for the Deaf

community. This chapter was in no way meant to generalize opinions or attitudes
within this community. It was only meant to provide some insight into why it's
sometimes difficult for a hearing person to be accepted into the Deaf world. Like any
other small, close-knit group, there are reasons for their apprehension about
accepting newcomers.

- 297 -

Red Sky at Morning

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 23 - Red Sky at Morning

The morning sun shone through the bedroom window, coaxing me from my sleep.

I could feel it as it warmed my face, a soft caress that caused my cheeks to flush and
my lids to flutter as I slowly opened my eyes. Bella was there, resting peacefully on
her side, and I propped my head up in my hand so that I could watch her in her
slumber. Unable to resist, I reached out and spun a finger through her brown, silken
hair, wrapping it up in a spiral before letting it bounce loosely free. The next time, I
tugged a lock to my face, tickling my nose with its wispy ends.

*That feels good.*

- 298 -

I paused, hair in hand, as my eyes tracked Bella's movements. I was situated

behind her so it was difficult to see, but I could have sworn she was signing. I
thought she was asleep, but I must have been mistaken. Scooting a little closer, I
slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her close. Her behind fit perfectly
between my naked thighs sending a wave of pleasure rolling through me. I didn't
even try and hide my arousal. That would have been pointless. It was morning after
all, and I was a man.

Good morning, beautiful, I signed, bringing my arm around in front of her. I didn't

realize you were awake.

I waited for Bella to turn and face me, but she never did. Instead, she lay perfectly

still in my arms. Thinking she was still tired and perhaps in need of a little
persuasion, I lowered my lips to the bare skin of her shoulder, kissing her softly. My
lips lingered there, unwilling to part with her delicate skin, and when I felt her body
shiver underneath mine, I was certain I had accomplished my objective.

*Touch me.*

Bella's hand moved in front of her again, instructing me to touch her, which

elicited a groan from deep within me. I pressed myself more tightly to her, flexing
my hips forward in an effort to gain friction against my growing arousal.

Where? I asked, completely turned on by this unexpected bout of foreplay.

I circled two fingers around her taught nipple before lazily dragging them down

between her legs. My mind spun. Fuck, she was so warm and wet.

Here? I asked, applying gentle pressure to her clit. When Bella didn't respond, I

paused, peering over her shoulder at her beautiful, angelic... and unmistakably
sleeping face.

I buried my head in the crook of her neck, hiding an amused grin. Bella was sleep

talking, or sleep signing, or whatever it was that deaf people referred to it as when
they talked in their sleep. Just to be certain Bella wasn't messing with me, I gingerly
lifted her arm only to let it fall lifelessly back by her side. She certainly seemed to be
asleep. Moments later, that same arm rose up high, winding through the air with
skillful grace.

*I like it when you touch me there,* she signed, and this time she whimpered, a

soft, shallow sound that spoke directly to my groin.

- 299 -

Where? I signed in front of her, though it was completely pointless for me to do so.

Bella was asleep, so she couldn't see the movement of my hands. I was so fucking
hard and half tempted to pull her leg over top of mine and enter her from behind in
her sleep, but I wouldn't wake her like that… not without her permission. As I lay
there, debating what to do, she talked in her sleep again.

*Slowly, slowly, not so fast,* she signed, her breathing now noticeably shallow.

*Touch me like this.*

I sucked in a deep breath, watching in awe as Bella's right hand slid along the

smooth skin of her stomach, traveling down, down, down through her dark colored
curls until it lay nestled in between her thighs. With practiced precision, her nimble
fingers went to work, slowly stroking her swollen clit, and when she started panting,
tiny sounds of pleasure escaping her throat, it was nearly my undoing.

My girlfriend was touching herself in her sleep, and it was hands down the sexiest

thing I had ever witnessed. It was all I could do not to take myself in my hands and
pump roughly a few times so that I could find my own release. But I didn't. Instead, I
watched in rapt attention as Bella's hips rocked forward, her movements growing
more organized as the tip of her index finger drew small concentric circles over her
tiny bundle of nerves. Soon her breathing grew ragged, and I knew she was close to
falling over the edge, leaving me torn between two choices. I could watch her fall
apart by her own hand, which in all likelihood would slay me, or I could finish what
she had started with my own hand, burying myself deep inside of her immediately
after.

In the end, the decision wasn't that difficult to make. I rolled on top of Bella,

replacing her hand with mine.

"Wake up, beautiful," I murmured, softly kissing her lips. I swirled my thumb over

her clit, her hips instinctively rising to meet my touch.

"That's right, baby," I whispered in her ear, rocking my body gently forward. "It

feels good, doesn't it?" I swirled my tongue in Bella's ear, and I felt her chest tighten
beneath me as the breath caught in the back of her throat.

"Hey there," I murmured, pulling back to look into her heavy lidded eyes. Bella

was still drowsy, but it didn't take her long to realize that I was on top of her, slowly
stroking her clit.

"You were touching yourself," I growled out loud, and even though I was unable to

use my hands to communicate with her, the soft shade of red that warmed her skin

- 300 -

told me she understood what I had said. She averted her gaze, biting down softly on
her lower lip. Leaning forward, I pressed my forehead to hers.

"Don't," I whispered, slowly shaking my head. When I pulled away, I stared deep

into her beautiful, brown eyes. "Don't be embarrassed. I do the same when I dream
of you." Bella's eyes opened wide, and I leaned in, capturing her lips in a swift kiss.

"It's true," I murmured as I continued to softly stroke her. "I think of you, naked,

underneath me, and I make myself come."

Bella arched her back in pleasure, her eyes fighting to remain locked with mine as

she gave herself over to the sensations building within her. Her chest was heaving
and her cheeks were flushed and I knew she was on the cusp of coming.

"Edwaaaarrrdddd..." she moaned as her body twisted up underneath me. Her nails

raked down the skin of my back, kneading and tugging and pulling as she forced our
bodies closer together.

"Come for me," I commanded, my eyes boring into hers. I pressed partway into

her with my swollen erection, and when her eyes slammed shut and the breath
caught in the back of her throat, I knew she was finally there. With one focused
thrust, I pushed fully into her, groaning in pleasure as her muscles contracted
around me.

"Fuuuccckkkk, you feel so good, baby…"

My words were drowned out by my heavy panting as I set a punishing pace. I was

hard and wanting, and when Bella wrapped her legs tightly around me, I knew I
wouldn't last long. Clasping my face between both her hands, she held my gaze as
she met me thrust for thrust. This was her normal, never breaking eye contact with
me, even during the most intense physical moments, and it left me feeling as if she
could see into the deepest parts of my soul. Her eyes called to me, centered me and
stripped me of my defenses, rendering me entirely at her mercy as my pleasure
overtook me.

I came abruptly, overcome by a powerful orgasm that left me shaking and weak.

Still, I never looked away. I couldn't. Finally, when my arms could no longer support
my weight, I collapsed on top of Bella's chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I
hugged her body close to mine.

"I love you," I whispered into the crook of her neck, her skin slick with moisture,

and it didn't bother me at all when I was met with nothing but resounding silence.

- 301 -

Bella's fingers tickled me awake a little while later.

*You're heavy,* she signed with a smile when I lazily lifted my head from where it

comfortably rested atop her stomach.

Sorry, I replied with my own sheepish grin.

*It's okay,* she assured me. *I like it, but it's been forty-five minutes and I have to

use the bathroom.*

Forty-five minutes? I shot up out of bed and glanced at the clock. I breathed a

deep sigh of relief when I saw that it was only half past ten.

I have to be at the hospital by noon, I signed, rolling onto my back. Bella

scrambled out from underneath me and jumped up from the bed. She held up a
single finger, asking me to hold that thought before dashing across the hall into the
bathroom. When she returned, she pulled back the covers and climbed in, snuggling
up to my side. I yawned, rubbing at my eyes.

*Are you going to be okay to work today?* she asked, pushing herself up on my

chest and taking note of my tired expression.

I'll be okay.

Bella didn't look convinced.

*We shouldn't have gone out last night,* she signed with a regretful shake of her

head.

Reaching out, I placed my forefinger under her chin, turning her face to meet

mine.

Don't say that. I'm glad we went. I think it was important. In fact, Kate mentioned

the group is meeting up again at the beach in a couple of weeks. If it's all right with
you, I thought I'd change my schedule at the hospital so that we could join them.

Bella's face grew at once, contemplative.

*Edward, I don't know…* she slowly signed, not seeming too keen on the idea,

which kind of disappointed me. I had hoped that after attending last night's event
we would be past this.

- 302 -

Why not? I gently prodded.

Her eyes locked with mine, and like she so often did when she was thinking hard

about something, she drew her lower lip between her teeth.

*Please don't think I'm not appreciative of the effort you're making…* she began,

hesitating a moment before continuing. *But it really isn't necessary. You don't have
to do this for me.*

What if I told you I was doing it for me? I replied in turn, offering her an

alternative justification for attending the upcoming event. Now that the ice has been
broken, it would be nice to have the chance to try and get to know everyone better. I
want your friends to like me, Bella, and that isn't going to happen if we avoid
spending time with them. Besides, weren't you the one that said things would get
better?

At my words, Bella sighed, her fingers coming up to brush across the skin of my

cheek.

*Does it really matter that much to you what they think?* she asked. *Because it's

just not that important to me. I love you, Edward. Everyone else's opinions are
inconsequential as far as I'm concerned.*

Actually, it does matter to me, I signed in response. It matters a lot, in fact. We're

together now Bella… a couple, and I want to be a part of your entire life, not just the
parts you pick and choose to share with me. I just… I don't want for us to shut
ourselves off from an important part of who you are - that's all.

I struggled a bit with my words. I didn't want to upset Bella, but I worried about

the consequences of holding ourselves apart from her deaf friends. At best we were
giving them a reason to be suspicious of me. If I never came around, I feared they
would interpret that as indifference on my part, and they would never know how far
from the truth that really was. At worst, I feared that Bella was denying herself the
opportunity to spend time with people who were similar to her in a very important
way.

*Is that what you think we're doing?* she asked, her eyes opening wide in

genuine surprise. *Shutting ourselves off?*

I shrugged my shoulders.

Seems that way to me.

- 303 -

Bella shook her head.

*That's just not true, Edward,* she signed with a heavy sigh. *I told you before, I

don't normally attend Deaf functions.*

That's another thing, I stated with a shake of my head. I still don't understand why

that is. It was obvious to me you enjoyed yourself last night. Conversation certainly
came easily…

*What's that supposed to mean?* Bella interrupted, narrowing her eyes at me in

suspicion. She had completely misinterpreted my words, and I scrambled to make
myself clear.

It means you are endlessly patient with me, I quickly explained, but I know that

spending time with me isn't the same as spending time with your friends. Can you
really stand there and deny that it wasn't nice to be able to carry on a conversation
without having to constantly adjust your pace or finger-spell every other word?

Bella froze, her eyes clouding over with some unrecognizable emotion.

*Don't do that,* she finally signed, her head moving back and forth in a nearly

imperceptible motion.*Please don't compare yourself to my deaf friends, because
that's what you're doing and it's not necessary. I don't have any issues with how you
and I communicate, Edward. You should know that by now. Honestly, I think we
communicate just fine, don't you?*

Bella looked concerned, as if she might have wrongly assumed how comfortable I

was with our relationship. Nothing could have been further from the truth, and I
immediately moved to put her fears to rest.

I think we communicate amazingly well, I reassured her, speaking nothing but

the honest truth. I think it's incredible that after only five months together, we're
talking solely with our hands, but that isn't the issue here.

*Then what is the issue?* Bella pressed. *Because this entire conversation is

starting to confuse me.*

I sighed. It was starting to confuse me too. I couldn't even remember the exact

point I was trying to make, other than I felt it was important for the two of us to
spend time with Bella's friends.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I saw how happy you were last night, and I

- 304 -

can't help it, I like seeing you that way, I began, trying my best to properly convey
my thoughts. If spending time with your deaf friends puts a smile on your face, then
it's important to me that I get to know them so that we can all spend time together. I
just want you to be happy, Bella, that's all. I know it sounds completely cliché, but
seeing you happy means everything to me.

Bella's features noticeably softened at my words, her eyes spilling over with deep

felt emotion, and before I knew what was happening her warm lips were pressed
tenderly against mine. She kissed me lazily for several long moments before finally
pulling away.

*Thank you,* she signed, holding me captive with her earnest, brown eyes. *I don't

think you'll ever know what it means to me that you care so much. But believe me
Edward, I know who puts a smile on my face, and that person is you, she signed, her
hand momentarily settling over top of my heart.*You may think that I identify more
with my friends who are deaf, but the truth is, I mostly identify with you.*

"I identify with you, too," I murmured, not wanting there to be any doubt in her

mind. But I don't think that precludes us from spending time with our friends…
yours included.

Bella sighed, and I was afraid that maybe she'd reached her limits in terms of this

discussion. I fully expected her to ask me to stop pushing her, but instead she
surprised me.

*You're right,* she signed, her hand stalling in the air between us as she took in

my shocked, if not amused expression.

I am? I teased, only half playing. About what, specifically?

*Everything, I suppose,* she admitted with a hesitant smile. *You're right in

saying I enjoyed myself last night, more than I thought I would, to be honest. And
you're right in saying our relationship with each other shouldn't keep us from
spending time with our friends. It's just difficult for me to balance both worlds,
Edward, for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I feel like I'm two different people…*

Is it because of me? I wondered, worried our relationship played a part in making

her feel that way.

Bella shook her head.

*Nothing could be further from the truth. It's me, not you. I've walked the line

- 305 -

between both worlds ever since I can remember….*

As if a switch had been flipped somewhere deep inside, Bella proceeded to tell me

things about her life we had discussed in passing here and there, but never in any
detail. She finally shared with me what it was like for her to spend so many years
being raised in a predominantly hearing environment only to begin life seemingly
anew at FSDB. While Bella had found comfort in being surrounded by others who
were similar to her in terms of hearing loss, she also found that her experiences
with the hearing world differed greatly from those of most of her peers.

To begin with, many of Bella's friends had never been mainstreamed, as she had

been for her elementary school years. They had been raised almost exclusively in
deaf environments and had a tendency to be wary of their hearing peers. What little
contact they did have was very often negative in nature; all of Bella's friends had at
one time or another been treated disrespectfully by their hearing counterparts. They
had been taunted, teased and treated as if they were mentally challenged simply
because they couldn't hear.

Many of her friends also came from environments where hearing individuals

routinely tried to exert control over their lives, a primary example being her deaf
friends with hearing parents. Some of these parents refused to give their deaf child
the freedom he or she needed to grow and develop into an individual, instead
making any and all decisions for them based upon what they thought was best. In
some cases, this meant her friends were at first denied the ability to learn ASL and
were instead encouraged to learn to speak and lip read English. I could not even
begin to understand how frustrating that must have been for them, to have been
denied the opportunity to learn ASL and instead be forced to adapt to a hearing
environment.

Luckily for Bella, she had never been routinely exposed to the types of

circumstances that seemed to harden her deaf peers to the outside hearing world.
While she was never particularly close to her hearing peers in Forks, she had been a
part of the small community for so long that she wasn't relentlessly teased. She just
never really felt as if she fit in. She had also had extremely pro-active and
understanding parents who had worked hard to give her the best of both worlds.
Charlie and Renee understood the importance of ASL as Bella's primary means of
communication, but they worked hard to ensure that she could read and write
English fluently and read lips as well.

When it came down to it, this experience was not one that was mirrored by many

of her peers. Most of Bella's friends were either placed in FSDB because their
parents were at a loss for how to communicate with or educate their deaf child, or

- 306 -

they came from generationally deaf families that shunned any form of implants or
oral education and communicated almost exclusively in ASL.

*So you can see now where the differences lay between me and many of my deaf

friends. I haven't had the types of experiences that cause them to prefer not to
associate with the hearing world. When I moved to Florida, I was just a child hoping
to have some friends that I could relate to, but I quickly found that being deaf is
where most of our similarities ended.*

Bella paused for a moment, reaching out and taking my hand in hers and tracing

each of my fingers individually before setting it back in my lap.

*I love my deaf friends, Edward. I really do. I understand who they are, the

environments they've all come from and why they believe in what they do. But our
notable differences sometimes makes it difficult for me to spend time with them.*

I understand.

*Do you?* she wondered, looking me straight in the eye, and I nodded my head.

I understand better now that we've talked. I never imagined how difficult it is for

you, I said, because it was true. Her life seemed infinitely more complicated with
each passing day. She truly was caught between two worlds…

*I've learned to adjust,* Bella replied with a sad smile, causing my heart to tighten

in my chest.

Can I make a suggestion?

*What's that?*

Maybe it's time to start anew… to build a bridge between both worlds instead of

erecting a dividing line. I know it won't be easy, but do you think we can try
together? Like we tried last night? I'm willing if you are….

Bella sat quiet for a moment, and I thought with regret that her answer would be

no, but when she looked up at me, out of eyes resolute and firm, I was relieved to
see that wasn't the case.

*Okay. If you're willing to try, so am I.*

I sat up from where I rested on the bed, hardly able to contain my excitement.

- 307 -

Really?

*Really,* she affirmed right before I pulled her into a giant hug. I buried my face

in her neck, kissing her softly there.

*You're going to be late for work,* she reminded me when I tried to take things

further.

I know. I'm leaving. I swear, I told her, but my actions spoke otherwise. Laughing

softly, she gently pushed me away before crawling off of the bed and reaching her
hand out to me, tugging me up to stand by her side.

I love you, I signed, bending my head to capture her lips in a heated kiss before

she had a chance to remind me of my impending work duties again. When I pulled
away, she was smiling up at me in amusement, gently shaking her head.

*I love you too. Now get into the shower before I decide to hold you captive all day

long…*

My eyes darkened at her words.

Don't tempt me…

Bella laughed, pushing me out her bedroom door and into the bathroom before I

had the chance to force her to make good on her threat. I took a very cold shower
and gave her a chaste kiss goodbye before walking out the door.

The following week was another one of those weeks when Bella and I hardly saw

each other. With less than six weeks to go in the semester, the pressure was on. I
was already beginning prep work for final exams and wondering how in the hell I
was going to juggle everything on my schedule without my fucking head exploding.
Bella and I tried to study together. We really did. Monday evening Bella came by the
practice rooms and we started out in our usual positions - me on the bench and Bella
flat on her stomach on top of the piano. It was a bit unconventional, but so far no
one had taken notice and if they had, they didn't seem to care. I enjoyed having
Bella around while we studied, but the problem was, part way through the evening
we couldn't keep our hands off each other. A harmless study break lead to a heated
make-out session and suddenly my mind was in the gutter.

Yeah - I wanted to take Bella against the piano. I wanted her on the bench, on the

keys, anywhere and in every combination possible. I was pretty sure she felt the
same, but I wasn't that much of an exhibitionist. I wouldn't take the chance of

- 308 -

someone walking in on us, not when I was this close to graduation and entering
medical school. I did, however, make a mental note to be on the look-out for used
baby grands in estate sales. If I had things my way, I'd be moving into my own
apartment sometime during the year, and if I had my own piano... well, the
possibilities would be endless.

Tuesday night ended in a similar fashion as Monday evening, only our late night

escapades featured a secluded nook in the library as opposed to the music school
practice rooms. After reluctantly admitting to ourselves that we weren't getting
anything done, we parted ways just after eleven, heading back to our respective
apartments to finish studying. Wednesday night we agreed not to meet. Bella had a
meeting with her advisor, after which she said it was imperative she complete lesson
plans for the remainder of the semester. I wanted to argue in favor of keeping each
other company, but I knew that would never work. So instead of occupying myself
with Bella's lips during study breaks, I perused the library's collection of books on
the deaf and hearing-impaired.

I really was hopeless.

There was one subject matter in particular I was interested in. Cochlear implants.

I didn't know much about them. Bella and I had never really discussed them, and
until Kate had mentioned them at the meet-up, I honestly hadn't given implants
much thought. My interest was piqued now, and so I found myself in a worn pleather
chair with my feet propped up on a table reading about them.

I had to admit, I wondered if Bella might benefit from implants, but after reading

up on the subject, I discovered that in order for them to be maximally effective, it
was necessary for the surgery to be performed as early as possible in a person's life.
This had to do with a critical period of language acquisition and development that
occurred between the ages of two and four. Children who received implants during
this period generally benefited from them more than those who received the
implants later in life.

Sitting there, book in hand, I wanted more than ever to meet Bella's parents. I

wanted to know if they had considered implants for her, and if not, why they hadn't.
They had recognized that Bella was deaf from a very young age, so there was the
possibility that implants could have benefitted her. Selfishly, there was a part of me
that wondered if Bella might consider getting implants now. I understood that she
would probably never be able to recognize speech, but she could at least hear my
voice... hear me play the piano...

My eyes started to droop. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was close to

- 309 -

midnight. The library would close then anyway, so I decided to pack up and head
home. On the way out, I checked out the book on implants I had been reading. It was
an interesting book, and I hoped to have more time to spend going though it before
the semester came to a close. When I arrived home, I was exhausted. After removing
my phone from a side pocket, I flung my backpack in the corner of my room and
stripped down to my boxers before crawling into bed. I immediately texted Bella.

You still awake?

*Yeah. Still working on lesson plans. Where are you?*

Home. In bed. Wanna come over?

*You know I want to, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea. I've still got

a couple hours of work ahead of me.*

A couple hours?

*Unfortunately, yes. I ended up meeting some friends from class for

coffee. We have a group project due in a few weeks.*

Oh... okay.

*You're upset with me.*

No... just disappointed. But I understand. I'm about to fall asleep, anyway.

*Long night?*

Lonely night.

*Edward...*

Sorry. ;) What do you think about going out Friday night? I need some

loud music and a couple of beers. Technique?

*Sounds good to me. I could use a good release.*

I could take care of that for you, you know. All you have to do is come

over...

*Green Eyes, stop! You're not helping matters!*

- 310 -

My plan is working perfectly.

*Goodnight, Green Eyes.*

You're cutting me off?

*Lol... yes. Unless of course you want me to stumble through the

remainder of the semester in sign language class.*

I'd catch you if you fell.

*Ha ha.*

All right, all right. I'll just lay here in bed, all alone, thinking about you

and...

*God, you really are incorrigible. :) Now, goodnight. I love you.*

I love you too. Sleep well.

Friday night, Bella showed up at my door looking hot as fuck. There was

something inherently sexy about skin tight jeans and form fitting tees...

And the shirt was blue. I fucking loved the color blue on Bella.

I instantly hardened at the sight of her, which wasn't a big surprise. Bella and I

hadn't slept together since Monday night, and four days was a long time for either of
us to go without sex. Bella noticed my situation and didn't need any encouragement
to step forward and place her hand on me. Her other hand twisted into my hair, and
suddenly our lips were locked in a heated kiss. As our tongues rolled languidly
against each other, Bella stroked me through my jeans.

Let's forget about Ybor, I signed between kisses. Let's just fuck.

Bella's eyes opened wide in surprise as she playfully smacked the back of my

head.

"Ow!" I cried, reaching behind me to rub the tender spot, and the both of us

started to laugh.

*That was crude,* Bella signed with a giggle.

- 311 -

Honest. It was honest, I corrected her. Don't tell me you don't want to.

*Oh I definitely want to,* Bella agreed, pressing her lips to mine in a searing hot

kiss. *And we will,* she added as her hand slipped between our bodies and settled
on my still rigid erection.

*Later.*

I frowned.

Come on. Look at the weather. It's been raining on and off all day. We could be

caught in a torrential downpour.

That was the truth. The morning had started out with a beautiful red sunrise only

to be followed by relentless rain. It seemed the old sailor's adage was in fact true.
'Red sky at morning, sailors take warning…'

*I'm not worried about the rain. We'll be inside. I want to dance... with you,* Bella

signed, pulling me close. *Like this,* she added, twisting in my arms so that her
behind was settled in my crotch, and holy fuck did it feel good. She began to sway
back and forth in slow motion, teasing me with her seductive movements. I wound
my arms around her from behind, holding her tight.

You're not helping matters, I signed, my arms moving in front of her. If she didn't

stop soon, I was going to have to jack off in the bathroom like some horny teenager
before leaving. Bella spun in my arms so that she was facing me again, her face
sheepish but far from contrite.

*Think of it this way. The sooner we get there, the sooner we get to come home,*

she pointed out with a devilish grin, and although I wanted to continue to protest,
her pouty lips and beseeching brown eyes won me over in the end.

"I'm driving," I told her, reaching into my pocket and producing a set of keys. We

leave when I'm ready to leave, fair enough?

*Fair enough,* she agreed, and we set on our way.

Ybor City was surprisingly crowded for a rainy Friday night. It seemed everybody

had the same idea - to let off some steam before the end of the semester crackdown
began. It was still hard for me to believe that in six week's time I would be a college
graduate. In some ways, it was anti-climatic for me because I would be starting med
school in the fall. I wouldn't really have a break from schooling, but the payoff would

- 312 -

be worth it. If all went as planned, I would be a doctor by the end of my 20s, which
was an enviable accomplishment as far as I was concerned. I was excited about med
school, but I was also excited at the prospect of having someone to share the
experience with. In the last five months, Bella had come to mean virtually everything
to me. I had fallen deeply in love with her, and I couldn't wait to share my life with
her.

Marriage.

The word jumped into my head from time to time. Not that I was anywhere near

ready to propose because I wasn't. Bella and I needed more time together. At the
very least, I wanted to introduce her to my parents, and I wanted to meet hers too.
But long term, I could definitely see the two of us together... married, eventually.
Everything just seemed to fit with us, despite our differences.

Bella held my hand tightly as we walked through the door of Technique, pulling

me from my thoughts. I noticed that her grip was stronger than usual, and when I
looked down at her to make sure everything was okay she smiled up at me
apologetically.

*I didn't know,* she signed with her free hand, and I didn't need to look at the DJ

stand to know that Jake was working tonight.

I had to admit, at first I was upset that he was there. Somehow, his presence

seemed like an intrusion. There was also still a part of me that was jealous of the
relationship he had with Bella. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I
was being ridiculous. At the end of the day, Bella was mine. She'd chosen me. There
had never really been any competition to begin with, anyway. To Bella, Jake was
never more than a friend. He had wanted more, but Bella didn't. The situation was
cut and dry as far as I was concerned. Keeping that in mind, I led Bella out onto the
floor and pulled her into my arms.

She danced with me exactly as she had promised, with her ass grinding against

my crotch for the better part of an hour. We were two people amidst a sea of
hundreds, but somehow it felt like we were all alone. It was just me and Bella in our
own little bubble, holding each other tight and swaying seductively to the music. It
was fucking perfect, and when Bella tugged on my hand, motioning that she needed
to use the restroom, I didn't want to let her go. I wanted to dance with her all
fucking night long, her body pressed tightly against mine.

*Bathroom and water,* Bella signed again with her left hand while twisting her

sweat dampened hair away from her face with her right. Tiny trails of perspiration

- 313 -

coated her face and neck, and I wanted to trace them with my tongue. My eyes met
hers, dark and hungry, and her returning gaze told me she was just as turned on as I
was.

*Five minutes,* she quickly signed. *Give me five minutes and we'll go home.*

I nodded at her, pulling her in for a heated kiss before reluctantly letting her go.

I'll wait for you at the bar, I signed as she slowly backed away from me.

*Five minutes,* she promised, and then she was gone.

After watching to see that Bella had made it safely to the back of the club where

the restrooms were located, I made my way over to the bar and ordered a beer. I
chugged it down in a matter of moments and was contemplating ordering another
when none other than Jessica appeared by my side.

"Edward!"

She yelled my name, ostensibly to be heard over the loud crowd, but really I could

see that she was just drunk.

"Hey, Jessica." I was polite, but I didn't attempt to engage her in any sort of

meaningful conversation.

It wasn't that things were awkward between us. In fact, since returning to class

after Spring Break, Jessica had pretty much kept to herself. She had cooled
considerably towards me, never picking me as a partner anymore and hardly paying
any attention to me. I assumed she had gotten the picture that I wasn't available,
but I still didn't think it was a good idea for me to be overly friendly with her, lest I
give her the wrong idea.

I glanced at my watch. It had been over five minutes since Bella had gone to the

bathroom and I knew she would be back any minute. I really didn't want to be
standing next to Jessica when she did.

"Technique is on fire tonight," she commented.

"Yeah. It's definitely busy," I absently answered her while scanning the crowd for

Bella.

"I'm here with my boyfriend," she added, and while this bit of information was

- 314 -

unexpected, I didn't give it more than a moment's thought as I was growing
increasingly anxious by Bella's absence. It was going on ten minutes now. It
shouldn't take that long for her to use the bathroom. I was beginning to worry that
something might be wrong. Maybe she was sick... or dehydrated. We'd danced for
nearly an hour.

I caught the bartender's attention.

"Give me a bottle of water, will you?" I asked. I slipped a five dollar bill in his

direction. "Keep the change."

The bartender tossed me the bottle and I turned towards Jessica.

"Listen, it was good seeing you but I've gotta run. I'll see you in class, okay?"

Jessica pouted, looking displeased by my hasty departure, but I didn't hang

around long enough for her to argue with me. By the time she opened her mouth to
speak, I was already making my way through the throngs of people to the back of
Technique, in search of Bella. The hallway was crowded outside the restrooms, and
even though the side door to the club had been propped open, it was still stuffy and
hot. Now, more than ever, I wanted to get the hell out of there and go home.

"Hey," I said, catching the attention of a young girl who was about to enter the

women's bathroom. "Can you do me a favor? I think my girlfriend's in there, but she
can't hear. Could you tell me if you see a woman with long brown hair wearing a
blue shirt, jeans and black Chucks?"

"She can't hear? As in... she's deaf?" the girl replied, confused, and though I

wanted to roll my eyes at her, I knew I needed her help, so I thought better of it.

"Yes. She's deaf. Now can you help me? I'd go in there myself, but..."

The girl regarded me skeptically as my words trailed off, and I began to worry she

wasn't going to help me, but she must have sensed how desperate I was because she
slowly nodded her head.

"All right. I'll be right back," she said before disappearing behind the door. She

returned several moments later, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, but there's no one in there by that description," she said, and my heart

skipped a beat in my chest.

- 315 -

"Are you sure?" I pressed, certain she must have made a mistake, but she nodded

her head.

"I'm sure. I checked all the stalls. There is definitely no one in there wearing black

Chucks. I'm sorry."

Her words rang out, reverberating through my brain and causing panic to

overtake me.

Where the fuck was Bella? She was here ten minutes ago and now she was gone! I

bolted back towards the bar, thinking that maybe she was waiting for me there, but
the only person I recognized was Jessica. I scoured the dance floor next, my heart
threatening to beat right out of my chest, but she wasn't there either.

Ten minutes. It took me ten minutes to search the club from top to bottom, and by

that time I was all but consumed with fear. This wasn't like Bella. This wasn't like
her at all. Something was very wrong.

Looking up, my eyes locked with Jake's. He was standing behind the DJ booth,

watching me from afar. He must have seen me frantically rushing about because
concern touched the corners of his eyes. Knowing I had no other choice but to ask
him for help, I pushed past person after person until I was standing below him.

"What the fuck is going on Cullen?" he barked from above.

"It's Bella!" I yelled in a panic. "I can't find her! She's gone Jake... she's fucking

gone!"

Endnotes:

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 316 -

Rising Storm

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 24 - Rising Storm

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jake asked as he leapt from behind the DJ

booth and onto the floor beside me. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"I mean she's fucking gone!" I yelled in irritation at his pointless question.

Suddenly he was in my face.

"What the fuck did you do?"

- 317 -

"Fuck you!"

I shoved Jake out of the way with my hands. "I didn't do anything! We were fine...

everything was fucking fine and then she just disappeared! Fuck!" I angrily yelled
while running my hands up through my hair.

"I don't have time for this shit! I need your help, Jake. Please, you've got to help

me find her." I was all but begging now, and Jake's face, angry and accusatory at
first, turned focused and firm.

"When did you see her last?" he asked distractedly, his eyes already scanning the

thick crowd.

"Thirty minutes ago."

Jake's eyes widened in disbelief.

"That long ago? Jesus. Have you tried texting her?"

"She doesn't have her phone," I said, shaking my head in frustration. "She left it

back at her apartment."

"Why the fuck would she do that! She knows better!"

"It was an accident!" I shot back in anger, quickly growing tired of arguing with

him. "Jake, please," I pleaded. "We've got to look for her."

"Where was the last place you saw her?" he snapped.

"On the dance floor, heading towards the back of the club," I answered in a rush.

"She said she needed to use the bathroom. I told her to meet me at the bar, but she
never showed up!"

"Did you check in the bathroom?" Jake asked.

"Of course!" I spat in defense. "She's not there."

Suddenly Jake was gone, running in the direction of the bathrooms at the back of

the club. He didn't take time to gingerly weave through the hundreds of bodies on
the dance floor, instead plowing right through them, pushing anyone and everything
aside as he raced to find Bella. I followed in his tracks, my body driven forward by
pure adrenaline. With each passing minute, I felt myself becoming increasingly

- 318 -

frantic. I knew in my gut that something was wrong. Thirty short minutes ago Bella
was wrapped securely in my arms, her body moving in time with mine. And now she
was gone. She'd disappeared, and I had no idea why or to where.

Jake reached the bathrooms first. One moment he was in my sight and the next he

had barged into the men's restroom, leaving a trail of terrified college students in
his wake. My stomach reeled at the sight.

He was in the men's bathroom.

Oh, Jesus Christ... I hadn't even considered...

I nearly turned and retched on the spot, a wave of nausea gripping my stomach

with such ferocity I had to steady myself with one hand against the wall. When Jake
reappeared a moment later, sharply shaking his head, I allowed myself to exhale a
small sigh of relief. Thank fucking God Bella hadn't been dragged in there by some
sick psychopath, but we were still no closer to finding her than we were before. Jake
sent another female patron into the women's restroom, double checking that Bella
wasn't inside before jogging to my side.

"Tell me exactly what happened, Cullen," he demanded.

"I told you! We were on the dance floor. We'd been dancing for a while and Bella

said she needed to use the restroom and get some water. I told her I would wait for
her at the bar. That was it! I watched her walk back here, man! I watched her until
she was safely inside! Then I went to the bar! Fuck!," I yelled, pushing my hands up
into my hair in frustration. "I should have gone with her and waited," I lamented,
berating myself for not being more responsible. "Shit!"

Turning to the side, I slammed my fist into the wall, needing some sort of outlet

for my anger. It was eating me up inside - making me feel desperate and completely
out of control. My fist made contact, punching a hole through the center of the wall.
When I withdrew it, tiny rivulets of blood ran down my hand.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jake screamed at me. "Don't be an idiot, Cullen.

We need to find Bella!" I was breathing hard, my body reacting instinctively to the
stress of the situation, but I realized I needed to pull it together and focus. I absently
wiped the blood from my hand onto my shirt.

"Did you check outside?" he asked, lowering his voice now so that he was no

longer yelling at me.

- 319 -

No, I shook my head.

At that moment, both our eyes traveled to the side door which remained propped

open. I'd noticed it before, but I hadn't given it more than a passing thought. Bella
had been overheated when she left the dance floor, stating that she needed some
water. Could it be that she'd simply stepped outside to cool down? It was still
raining, so it didn't seem likely, but we had already determined she wasn't in the
club. That left only one possibility... she was somewhere outside.

"You should go and check your car," Jake instructed. "I'll have a look around

outside. Meet me back here in ten minutes. If we haven't found her by then, I'm
going to enlist more help. Okay?"

"I don't think she's there," I said with a shake of my head. "The keys are in my

pocket. She wouldn't have any way of getting inside."

"Just check, Cullen!" Jake said, yelling at me again. "Let's eliminate all

possibilities!"

I wanted to argue with him - argue that Bella would never leave me in a club to go

stand outside in the rain by my car, no matter what the circumstances, but he did
have a point. We needed to eliminate all possibilities. It might not be logical that
Bella would be waiting for me by my car, but then again, it was far from logical that
she should just up and disappear.

"Okay," I nodded. I reached out and clasped my hand on Jake's shoulder, wincing

in pain from using my busted fist. "Thank you." Jake's eyes met mine, and he offered
me a curt nod before disappearing out the side door and into the dark alley beyond.

Ten minutes later, Jake and I reconvened by the side of the club, neither one of us

having had any luck in locating Bella. I wasn't the only one who looked panicked
now. Jake was trying hard to hold it together, but he was clearly just as worried as
me.

"What now?" I wondered while wiping my forearm across my face. The rain had let

up some, but I was still wet from running to and from the car.

"I'm going to ask a couple of my friends to check around inside the club. I'll alert

all the bartenders and bouncers, too. You and I are going to hit the streets. I
checked around the outside of the club, but I didn't see anything. I think we need to
spread out further, maybe canvas people on the streets."

- 320 -

I nodded in reply, agreeing with Jake that this was a good plan. He left me

standing there while he mobilized his friends inside, and when he returned he held a
couple of Tylenol in his hand.

"Here, take these," he said while absently handing me the small white pills. I

swallowed them gratefully before following him away from the club. "I'm going to
head left down 7th. You head in the opposite direction. I'll call you if I find anything
and you do the same, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. "We should set a time to meet back here."

"Thirty minutes. If you haven't found her in thirty minutes, meet me back here."

"What then?" I wondered.

Jake didn't hesitate in his response. "We call the police."

I searched the streets of Ybor City. I searched them like my life depended on it,

tearing down dark and deserted alleys, stopping people on the streets and speaking
with bouncers at nearly every bar and club I came upon, but nobody had seen Bella.
Nobody had seen a girl with long brown hair and even darker brown eyes who spoke
with her hands. It had been over an hour now, and what had at first started out as a
niggling sense of panic periodically nudging my gut had now transformed into
full-fledged, deep-rooted fear. I was terrified... afraid of what might have happened
to Bella. The possibilities were endless. She was an extremely attractive woman.
Who was to say that some sick fuck hadn't grabbed her? My mind was reeling at the
possibilities, conjuring up every worst case scenario imaginable, spinning
completely out of control. Thoughts of what might have happened propelled me
forward, my shoes slapping against the wet pavement, drops of water splashing up
onto my legs. It was no longer raining, but the sky was still dark - dark and ominous,
as if foretelling the future.

"Fuck, no!" I muttered angrily under my breath. "She's going to be just fine!" I

tried to convince myself, but even to me, my voice sounded shaky and unsure. A
passerby looked at me strangely and I stopped in place, leaning over and resting the
palms of my hands on my knees, desperately trying to catch my breath.

"Please," I begged through sharp, labored breaths. "Have you seen a young

woman? Long dark hair and brown eyes, she's deaf... God, she's deaf," I managed to
get out. The man looked down at me in apology, his eyes regarding me
sympathetically.

- 321 -

"I'm sorry, son. I haven't."

I nodded, feeling more and more hopeless with every minute that passed by. Just

then, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I jumped to attention, reaching inside and
gripping it in my shaking hand, but when I pulled it free, it tumbled to the ground. I
bent to pick it up, but the man in front of me held out his hand and stopped me.

"Allow me," he said, reaching down and plucking it from a puddle of water on the

ground. I was panicked that it wouldn't work, but when I saw that the screen was lit
up with a new text, I greedily grabbed it out of the man's hand.

The text was from Jake.

I found her. We're two blocks up from Technique on 7th. Get here, now.

I stared at the screen, tears stinging the corners of my eyes as I exhaled a shaky

sigh of relief. Jake had found her, he'd fucking found her, and I had never been more
grateful for anything in my life. I hastily thanked the man in front of me before
sprinting down the street in the direction I'd just come.

I ran. I ran hard towards Bella. Though my body was physically exhausted from

searching for her, I pressed forward, never stopping until I saw the lights. They
were red and blue and flashing, lighting up the dark night sky and striking fear into
my heart. There were several police cars and an ambulance, and there, sitting on
the curb, huddled by Jake's side was Bella.

My precious Bella.

"Bella!"

I screamed her name. It didn't matter that she couldn't hear me. It didn't matter

to me at all. I needed to say it. I needed to hear it fall from my lips. It affirmed that
she was still here and still alive. Jake's head jerked up at the sound of my voice, his
eyes meeting mine in a solemn gaze. Bella looked up immediately after, her eyes
filling with tears as she watched me approach.

"Bella!" I screamed again, falling to me knees on the wet, hard ground in front of

her. She threw her arms around my neck, holding me tight as violent sobs overtook
her.

"Who are you?" a gruff voice asked from somewhere behind. I couldn't see who

was speaking, but I assumed it was a police officer.

- 322 -

"It's okay. He's her boyfriend," I heard Jake answer in reply.

"We'd like to take a preliminary statement from Ms. Swan before she heads to the

hospital," the man continued to speak. "You told me you would be able to
interpret..."

"Hospital? Why does she have to go to the hospital?" I asked.

Without letting go of Bella, I turned in Jake's direction. "What the hell happened?"

Jake regarded me cautiously for a moment before answering.

"Edward, maybe you should let..."

"Just fucking tell me!" I demanded, unable to bear not knowing why the fuck Bella

was sitting on the side of the street in downtown Ybor City after having gone
missing for close to an hour. My mind started going to dark places made all that
much scarier by what Jake said next.

"Someone found her," he said, swallowing back a lump in his throat. "She was

bound, blindfolded and gagged, Edward… wandering in an alley a few blocks away
from here."

"Oh, Jesus," I breathed, choking back a wave of nausea that threatened to

consume me. If it weren't for the fact that I needed to be strong for Bella, I would
have thrown up on the spot. Instead I pulled her closer, reminding myself that
whatever had happened to her, she was safe and sound in my arms now. I took
several deep breaths, tucking her face into the side of my neck before turning to
Jake and forcing myself to ask the question that needed to be asked.

"Was she... was... she..."

But I couldn't say it. I couldn't fucking get the words out. I couldn't even think

about what might have happened...

"No," Jake rushed to reassure me, understanding exactly where I was going.

"There was no assault."

I nearly choked on my relief.

"Then why the ambulance?" I questioned, my eyes darting in the direction of the

vehicle parked a few feet away.

- 323 -

"She tripped and fell, or so she says," Jake explained. "She's got a good knot on

the side of her head, so they want to admit her for observation, just in case she's got
a concussion."

Bella shifted in my arms while Jake was speaking, and I turned my attention back

to her. Ever so softly, I threaded my fingers through her hair, combing it back and
out of her face before gently pulling her away from my chest. I needed to see her. I
needed to look into her eyes to see that she was really okay. I needed to see that the
steady glow of life and love that burned strong in her eyes every day was still there,
but she clung to me as if her life depended on it, shaking her head firmly no. She
didn't want me to let her go, so I didn't, instead holding her close for a few minutes
longer before trying again. This time I brushed the pads of my thumbs underneath
both of her eyes, tenderly wiping away the tears as I coaxed her face upwards. Inch
by inch, her eyes moved towards mine. When they finally met, I sucked in a sharp
breath. Her eyes were hollow and empty, the fire in them I loved so much gone.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," I murmured softly to her, not daring to take my hands off

of her to sign. "Can you tell me what happened?" I gently inquired, but Bella just
buried her head against my chest once again, shutting me and the rest of the world
out.

"Pardon me, Mr..."

The officer who had been speaking with Jake moments before spoke up again,

hesitating when it came to addressing me.

"Cullen. Edward Cullen," I said, filling in the blank for him.

"Pardon me, Mr. Cullen. My name is Officer Thompson, and I'm the one who will

be assigned to Ms. Swan's case. I know this is a difficult time for the two of you, but
we really need to get a proper statement from her," he stated in a voice that was not
unkind. "We'd like to do it now, while the memory of what happened is still fresh in
her mind, but if she would prefer to wait until after she's been seen by a doctor, we
can do that too."

"I think she needs to do it now," Jake said, offering his opinion. He turned in my

direction, looking to see whether or not I agreed with him, and I nodded my head. I
was worried that Bella might not share our opinion, but I hoped that if I continued to
sit with her while Jake acted as her interpreter, she might feel more comfortable.
Using two fingers, I gently lifted her chin so that her eyes were once again level
with mine.

- 324 -

You need to speak with the police. It's better to do that now while the details are

still clear. Jake will translate and I'll sit here with you. You won't be alone. Do you
think you can do that? Can you talk to them now?

Bella drew her quivering lower lip between her teeth, her ashen face worried and

uncertain.

You can do this, I signed, hoping that in my conviction she would find some source

of courage. "You have to do this, baby."

I lowered my forehead to hers, gently cupping her face in my hands. She exhaled

a shuddering sigh before slowly nodding her head. Bella's reluctance to talk about
what happened was clear, evidenced by the worry lines creasing her weary face, but
each of us knew she had no other choice.

"Let's begin with what you remember," Officer Thompson said once Bella had

turned to fully face him. "You say that you arrived at Technique sometime after ten
o'clock tonight. You danced with Mr. Cullen for an hour before deciding to use the
restroom. Is that correct?"

Jake translated the officer's words with greater fluency and speed than I could,

and I found myself feeling extraordinarily grateful to this man I once considered my
foe. One fateful night seemed to have changed everything between us.

Yes, Bella signed in response, her hand inching out from where it rested between

us to answer the officer's question.

"What happened next?"

*I walked to the back of the club and used the restroom. Afterwards, I decided to

step outside for a minute. It was so hot inside the club. I'd danced for nearly an hour
and I wanted a moment to catch my breath. The door to the side of the club was
propped open, and even though it was still raining, it had let up. I didn't mind
getting a little wet. In fact, I thought it might feel good.*

"So you went outside?"

*Yes.*

"Was there anyone else outside with you?"

Bella nodded her head.

- 325 -

*At first, yes. There were several college aged kids smoking cigarettes and

drinking beer, but I think they were all a part of the same group because almost as
soon as I stepped outside, they all started on their way back in.*

"Did you recognize any of them?"

Bella shook her head.

"Did any of them remain behind, or walk off in another direction?"

Again, Bella shook her head.

"So as far as you know, after they left, you were alone outside."

*That's correct,* Bella confirmed. *But only for a minute. I watched the rain fall

until I felt my body temperature return to normal. It couldn't have been more than
two or three minutes at the most. I didn't notice anything strange or different in that
time, but when I turned to walk back inside... *

Bella paused, burying her face in my chest as she choked back a sob. I held her

tightly to me, smoothing back her hair and soothing her with soft kisses to the top of
her head while she worked to compose herself. It took a minute, but she found her
strength again, and when she did, she looked back towards the officer and
continued recounting what happened.

*When I turned to walk back inside, someone reached out from the dark, grabbing

my shoulders from behind. Whoever it was pulled me backwards, away from the
light of the club and into the dark alley. I tried to scream, but they gagged me
before I even had a chance. I hardly had time to think about what was happening
before they... they blindfolded me.*

Bella started shaking, and it took an act of God himself to keep me from running

out into the streets in search of whoever had done this to her. Every part of me cried
out for revenge, the muscles in my body coiled tight and primed for an attack. I
knew one thing for certain - whoever had done this to Bella would pay. One way or
the other, I would hunt them down and make them suffer for their sick and twisted
deed.

Officer Thompson gave Bella a moment to collect herself before he continued with

his line of questioning.

"Ms. Swan, do you have any idea whether the perpetrator was male or female?" he

- 326 -

asked.

Bella didn't hesitate to answer.

*Male, definitely male. His forearms were muscular, like he worked out a lot, and

his hair was cropped short and rough in texture. His nose... it was crooked, like it
had been broken at some point in time, and he smelled like expensive cologne.*

The officer appeared impressed with Bella's description, asking if she had

managed to get a look at the perpetrator's face, but Bella hung her head sadly,
shaking it slowly back and forth.

*I didn't. I was able to reach back and feel for his features while he gagged and

blindfolded me, but after that, he tied my hands together behind my back.*

Bella's eyes flitted to her wrists and mine followed suit. Angry, red welts were

visible there, and I reached out, taking one of her hands in mine and softly kissing
her wounds, hoping my touch would soothe some of the pain. Her lips pulled
upwards in a fleeting half smile, but they quickly fell and her features were once
again defined by the deadened look in her dull brown eyes.

"You're doing well, Ms. Swan," the officer commented softly. "Really well. Can you

tell me what happened next? After he bound your wrists?"

Bella looked to both Jake and me, wiping away her tears with the pads of her

fingers before reluctantly continuing.

*Once my hands were bound, he turned us both around and started moving

forward at a brisk walk. I... I managed to keep track of all the turns. We walked for
fifty yards or so and then turned right. Another fifty yards and we made another
right, followed by an immediate left. We walked several hundred more yards before
turning right again, and that's when he pushed me up against a wall.*

I froze in place at Bella's words, my entire body going rigid.

Did he touch you? I signed, trying but failing to disguise my fear that she had been

sexually assaulted. Even though Jake had told me otherwise, I needed to hear from
Bella that he hadn't touched her like that.

*No,* she quickly replied, shaking her head firmly before looking back towards

the officer.

- 327 -

*He didn't assault me, but he did push me up against the wall, pinning me there

with his body. He leaned forward, running his nose along the edge of my neck,
breathing heavily against me. And then, just as quickly as he'd taken me, he was
gone. I thought at first we'd been spotted and he'd been scared off, but nobody came
to my rescue. So I started walking, trying my best to retrace my steps. I tripped over
the curb, and that's when I hit my head.*

"So the perpetrator didn't physically or sexually assault you?" the officer

reiterated. "The cut on your head occurred after he fled the scene?"

*That's correct. When he ran off, he left me blindfolded, bound and gagged. I

couldn't use my hands to remove the blindfold so I couldn't see, and while I was
trying to make my way back to the club, I lost my footing. That's how I fell and hit
my head.*

"Do you have any idea how far you walked before someone found you?" Officer

Thompson asked.

Bella shook her head.

*I don't know. Five, maybe ten minutes? I was so disoriented, it was hard for me

to tell.*

"I'm wondering if that was the perpetrator's objective all along," Officer Thompson

commented absently in response while scribbling some information into his
notebook.

"I'm sorry?" I replied, shaking my head in confusion at his statement. "I don't

understand…"

"I mean this could have been some sick joke, a hate crime of sorts, aimed at taking

advantage of someones who is handicapped," he clarified.

"Bella's not fucking handicapped!" I seethed, my anger over the evening's events

momentarily getting the best of me. I knew I was lashing out at the wrong person,
but I didn't seem to have control over my emotions at that moment. Jake turned
stone cold eyes on me, a silent warning for me to shut the hell up while Bella sat
motionless and silent.

"Son," Officer Thompson gruffly replied, sounding displeased with my tone of

voice. "I understand that you're upset by what's happened to your girlfriend so I'm
going to cut you a little slack. But I'll remind you that I'm an officer of the law, and I

- 328 -

won't be spoken to like that, regardless of the circumstances. Do I make myself
clear?"

I stared up at him for a moment, half tempted to lash out at him again because I

didn't like being spoken to like I was a child, but I realized that wouldn't do Bella or
myself any good, so I decided otherwise.

"Sorry," I grumbled in response. "I'm just trying to make sense of everything. I

don't understand why someone would do this."

"Neither do I," he replied, his tone softening. "But thus far, the evidence suggests

that whoever did didn't intend to physically hurt Ms. Swan." Officer Thompson
shrugged. "Maybe he was only interested in scaring her - shaking her up a little bit."

"Or maybe something spooked him and he ran away before he had a chance to do

anything more," I pointed out.

Bella, who had hardly said a word over the last several minutes, looked first to me

then to Officer Thompson.

*I thought he was going to, he was going to…*

I silenced Bella's hands by covering them with my own. We all knew exactly what

she was going to say, and I could almost feel my skin burn at the thought of what
could have happened. I could have lost Bella tonight - I could have easily lost her.
Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I pulled her tight against my side, kissing
her softly on top of her head. She took willing shelter in my arms, her body rapidly
shutting down following the trauma of the night's events.

"I think Bella's had enough for tonight," I declared, deciding it was time for us to

leave. If I never saw the lights of Ybor City again it would be too fucking soon.
"She's exhausted, and if we're going to go to the hospital, we should go now before
it gets too late," I added while gingerly running my fingers around the edge of
Bella's wound. She winced at my touch.

"I agree. I'm going to finish speaking with the young man who found her and then

head to the station to prepare my report. There are other officers canvassing the
club right now, looking for anyone who might have seen anything suspicious. If
you're feeling up to it, I'd like for the two of you to come down to the station
tomorrow. It would be good for us to go back over the information she's given to see
if maybe she remembers anything more that might be of some help."

- 329 -

Bella and I nodded in agreement.

"She'll require a translator. I can request one..." Officer Thompson started, but

Jake held up his hand, interrupting him.

"That won't be necessary. I can do it."

Part of me wanted to object, feeling confident that I could translate for Bella

myself, but then I considered that I would be better off acting as a support to her,
like I'd done tonight, so I gratefully accepted Jake's offer.

"All right then, I'll see the three of you tomorrow," Officer Thompson said before

moving to speak with several other policemen who were gathered around his car.

After taking a moment to thank the boy who had found Bella and led her to safety,

we headed to Tampa General. Bella didn't appear to be suffering from a concussion,
but the paramedics still recommended she have it looked at. Jake rode with us,
continuing in his role as translator at the hospital while Bella remained curled into
my side. When she was sent for a CAT scan, Jake and I stepped out into the hall,
leaning together against the wall.

"Jake, I... I don't know what I can ever do to thank you for what you did tonight,

but I want you to know I'm sincerely grateful."

Jake studied me intently for a moment, his piercing brown eyes a whirlpool of

emotions.

"I did it for Bella," he finally responded in a measured tone of voice.

"I know. But she's my girlfriend, so in a way, you did it for me too. And I won't

forget."

The feeling might not have been mutual, but at least for me, I knew that from that

point forward my relationship with Jake would be different. I was indebted to him
for helping me find Bella, and that was something that would never change. I held
his gaze, refusing to look away until he acknowledged my statement with a silent
nod of his head.

Bella wasn't discharged from the hospital until several hours later. It was past two

in the morning by the time we finally walked through her front door, and both of us
resembled the walking dead. We'd both been through so much, Bella much more
than me, and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull her to me, holding her

- 330 -

tight all the night through.

She had been quiet on the ride home. When we entered her apartment, she

immediately walked towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Moments
later, I heard the water running, and I knew she was taking a shower. I hesitated
only a moment before cracking open the door and flicking the light switch on and
off. I wanted to alert her to my presence before stepping inside; I didn't want to
catch her off guard.

When I entered the bathroom, I noticed that Bella had deposited her clothes in the

trash can. I could understand why, and I wouldn't say anything to her about it. This
was one night I was certain she would rather not be reminded of. I removed my own
clothing before pulling back the shower curtain, hoping that Bella wouldn't mind if I
joined her. She hadn't asked me to, but I didn't want to be away from her. I needed
to see her, feel her, breathe her in... remind myself that this awful night was over
and that the woman who meant more to me than life itself was all right.

Bella had been crying; I knew this the minute I stepped into the tub. She tried to

brush her tears aside, but I shook my head.

You don't have to hide from me, I signed.

Very slowly, I reached out my hands, running my fingers along the dark shadows

rimming the underbelly of her swollen eyes. Bella's lips began to quiver, and one by
one, her tears started to fall. I slid my hands along the contour of her cheeks,
brushing my thumbs slowly back and forth, collecting them as they fell.

"Come here," I murmured, pulling her gently towards me. She didn't resist,

allowing me to bring her into the safety of my arms where we both wanted her to be.

"I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so fucking sorry for everything you went through tonight,"

I spoke quietly against her head. My words fell on silent ears, but it didn't matter.
"I... I..."

Further words of regret failed me as my own eyes started to water, and I stood

there quietly, holding everything that mattered to me in my arms until the water
eventually ran cold.

Later, when all was silent and still and the morning sun hadn't yet risen in the sky,

I crept from Bella's room, leaving her curled in a ball on the bed, her back tucked
flush against the wall and her fists pulled tight by her side. Even in her sleep she
was tense, no doubt reliving moments from the night before. She had cried out

- 331 -

several times already, her trembling body instinctively seeking refuge in mine. I had
cradled her close for several hours, but sleep had yet to claim me. With every
passing moment, my body grew more anxious, still wound tight from the night's
events. I wasn't a fool. I knew that things could have ended badly. They didn't, but
they could have, and that thought alone had me tripping over my feet as I stumbled
into the bathroom and onto the floor.

I retched into the toilet, what little there was left in my stomach immediately

coming up followed by wave after wave of dry heaves. Once I started, I couldn't
stop, overwhelming anxiety causing my stomach to twist tight in knots. The fear I'd
felt when I first realized Bella was missing, the desperation that seized me and
drove me into the streets in search of her, the relief that washed over me the
moment I knew she was safe and the horror I'd felt when I realized what had
happened to her all battled for dominance inside me. My stomach felt like a war
zone, each emotion pitting themselves against each other, and I realized that
although I had been able to hold it together for Bella earlier, now it was my time to
fall apart.

So I did.

Endnotes:

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, disabled people are 1.5 times

more likely to be the victims of violent crime than people who are not
disabled.

Disabled women are 2 times more likely to be the victims of violent crime

than women who are not disabled.

I realize this story has taken an unexpected turn. I want to reiterate that

Bella was not sexually assaulted. There is a reason events are taking place
as they are; there are certain issues that Bella and Edward need to deal with
if their relationship is going to survive long term.

The next chapter is edited and ready to post. I will post again by the

middle of next week, after I have had a chance to reply to reviews. Thanks
for sticking with me. I appreciate all of your support.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 332 -

In the Eye of the Hurricane

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 25 – In the Eye of the Hurricane

One Day

It was just after nine in the morning when Bella gently shook me awake. I was

physically and mentally destroyed, having only fallen asleep just three hours before.

My exhaustion was nothing compared to Bella's. Her eyes were rimmed with deep,

dark circles, her irises vacant and tired.

*You have to be at the hospital in an hour,* she signed.

- 333 -

I looked at her, confused.

I'm not going in. I've already called and left a message.

*I'm fine,* Bella signed, though her shaking hands told me she was anything but.

*You don't need to stay with me.*

I sat up in bed, digging the heels of my palms into the hollows of my eyes, trying

but failing to wake myself up. I wondered if I pressed hard enough if it would erase
the images of the night before. The wet city streets, the flashing lights, Bella
hunched over on the curb…

I want to stay with you. Besides, I'm in no shape to work today and we told Officer

Thompson we'd come by the station to go over your statement.

*I haven't remembered anything else,* Bella signed before rolling over onto her

side, her back facing away from me. Her behavior was confusing me, and I reached
out, gently skimming my hand along the skin of her bare shoulder, trailing it down
along the length of her arm. She shivered under my touch, and I cautiously pulled
her to me, settling her body against my chest. It didn't take long before her tears
started to fall.

"Shh," I whispered in her ear, soothing her while smoothing her hair back from

her face. "Shh."

Gradually Bella's sobs subsided, reduced to intermittent gasps and sighs. When

her body finally quieted against mine, the shaking gone for now, I turned her in my
arms to face me. Reaching out, I tilted her chin upwards.

Are you okay?

Bella nodded, and with my right hand, I traced the circumference of her bruise. It

was situated to the left of her face, just below her hairline. Thank God she didn't
have a concussion. Even so, it was angry and swollen, an unwelcome reminder of
last night's horrific events.

Does it hurt? I bent to kiss around the edges, taking great care not to cause her

any discomfort. Bella smiled weakly at me in appreciation, her hand creeping up
from between us to smooth along the stubbled skin of my cheek.

*A little, but it's tolerable. It's my hands that bother me the most.*

- 334 -

I winced as my eyes scanned the bandages encircling both her wrists. The rope

that the perpetrator had used to bind her cut into Bella's skin, leaving behind
shallow trenches. I hadn't noticed how badly she was hurt when we were sitting on
the curb last night. It wasn't until we arrived at the hospital that I saw the full extent
of her injuries.

Come. Let's dress those wounds. Then I'll fix us some breakfast.

*You don't have to,* Bella signed with a shake of her head. *I can do it myself.*

I don't want you to do it yourself, I insisted, capturing her hand and tenderly

kissing her wrist. Please, don't push me away. Let me help you.

Bella reluctantly agreed, and I led her to the bathroom where she sat on the toilet

while I changed out her bandages. Afterwards she wandered into the living room
where she sat down in the middle of the couch, channel surfing while I scrambled
some eggs. It was hard for me to focus on what I was doing, and I accidentally
dumped the wrong seasoning into the eggs causing me to have to start over. Despite
the fact that Bella was safe inside the apartment with me, I was still anxious,
constantly looking over my shoulder to check up on her even though I knew she was
right there. Frustrated with myself, I flicked the hallway light, catching Bella's
attention. It pained me to see how red and swollen her eyes were when she looked
up. She'd spent the last twelve hours in tears, and it showed.

You want to watch me?

My odd question drew a tentative, curious smile out of Bella, and I thought for a

moment that my heart might beat out of my chest. It was good to see her smile, even
if seconds later it slipped away.

*Do you need my help?*

No, I shook my head. I just need you near me.

It was the truth. Even though Bella was just in the other room, she wasn't close

enough. After everything that had transpired, I needed her closer. Bella nodded
while rising from the couch, walking towards the kitchen, and I wondered if she felt
the same - if it was as difficult for her to be away from me as it was for me to be
away from her. At that moment, I just needed to be able to reach out and touch her.
I needed to be able to pull her into my arms and hold her close and reassure myself
that she was okay. I couldn't seem to get over the fact that I could have lost her last
night. There was also the nagging concern that whoever attacked her was still out

- 335 -

there. That thought alone made my blood run cold.

Bella approached me from behind, slipping her arms around my waist and

hugging me tight as I tended to the eggs. I could feel the tension slip away as she
molded her body against mine, and even though her binding arms restricted my
movement, if she hadn't come to me, I honestly wasn't sure I could have continued
to function. My body craved togetherness right now, her presence a comfort to me,
tangible proof of her vitality. If she ever let go, it would be too soon.

Order up, I signed while turning in her arms to face her. That trace of a smile

ghosted across Bella's lips once more, and I smiled down at her in return. Seeing
her happy, even if only for a brief moment in time, gave me hope that despite
everything that had happened, she was going to be okay.

Hopefully I would be okay too.

One Week

I switched the bedroom light off and on, alerting Bella to my presence. She was

getting dressed for class, her long, lean legs slipping into a pair of very flattering
jeans. I suppressed a groan at the sight. Bella and I hadn't been intimate since the
attack. She didn't seem to want that right now. Instead, when we went to bed
together at night, she clung to me, her legs winding tightly around mine, pinning me
to her. I didn't mind. All day, every day, my head was full of horrible thoughts of
Bella being abducted. I couldn't help it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't excise
the demons from my mind. They picked at me, taunting me, suggesting that the
woman I loved might not always be mine. She could be taken from me. She was
almost taken from me before, and it could happen again.

It didn't help that we still had no idea who had taken Bella and why. The police

had come up with absolutely nothing so far. Whoever had done this to her seemed to
have disappeared into thin air. If they did apprehend a suspect, there was talk of a
charge of Kidnapping with the intent to terrorize. In Florida, Kidnapping is a serious
felony, and this would likely mean there would be a long and tedious trial. Bella
would have to relive the horror of the night over and over again in the hope that
justice would be served. I shuddered to think what that would be like, but if it meant
whoever had abducted her was ultimately sent to jail, it would be worth it in the
end.

Bella turned and faced me, offering me a small smile when she saw me standing

there. One week later, her smiles were still few and far between, but with each
passing day, she slipped further back into her routine, her terror and anxiety over

- 336 -

what happened lessening, if only a little bit. I wished I could say the same for me.

I hate to rush you, but we need to get going. I have a meeting scheduled with my

piano professor in half an hour.

*I'm okay to drive myself this morning,* came Bella's unexpected response. *I'll

park close to the building and walk directly to class, I promise.*

I'd really rather drive you myself, I insisted. I didn't like the idea of Bella driving

to and from school alone. It was too soon. It would only be one week tomorrow that
she had been blindfolded, gagged and bound before being dragged through the
streets of Ybor City. I shuddered involuntarily at the thought, preferring not to think
about that right now. It was all I dreamt about at night, and I was barely able to
focus on anything else during the day.

*Okay, I'll just be one minute,* Bella acquiesced with a small sigh, thankfully

deciding not to argue with me. Not that I thought she would. Bella didn't want to be
left alone any more than I wanted to leave her alone, so I turned and walked away,
allowing her some privacy so that she could finish dressing.

This had been our routine over the course of the past week. I rearranged my

schedule so that I could escort Bella to and from school. Once on campus, I made
every effort to walk her to class myself. Emmett and Jake helped out, with Rose
filling in when the rest of us weren't available. Between all of us, we managed to
watch over Bella virtually round the clock. I never wanted her to be alone or out of
sight. I was panicked that whoever had gone after her in Ybor City was still out
there somewhere, lurking in the shadows and waiting for the opportunity to finish
what they had started. This fear I had was all but debilitating; whoever had taken
Bella had fucked with more than just her life. He'd fucked with mine and that of all
her friends too.

Bella emerged from the bedroom, her backpack slung across her shoulder and her

hair pulled back in a loose braid.

You look nice. I reached for her hand, linking our pinky fingers together and

tugging her gently forward. Our lips met and I kissed her softly.

You have the schedule for today, right?

Bella nodded, reaching behind her to pat her backpack.

*It's inside. I don't need it, anyway. You're taking me to school this morning, Jake's

- 337 -

meeting me for lunch and Emmett will be there to pick me up this afternoon.*

At 3:50 sharp. I'm sorry I can't be there, but I can't miss class.

*It's okay,* she reassured me, her hand coming up to settle over my heart. *I'll be

all right.*

I took a deep breath, doing my best to calm my nerves. It had been like this every

day this week. It was hard for me to leave Bella's side in the morning, my instinct
being to keep her near. I wanted to be with her at all times, to watch over her and
protect her. It was the only way I felt settled these days... when she was directly in
my line of sight. Being away from her was very difficult for me, but thankfully we
kept in constant contact via texting.

I'll be home no later than six. If you'd like, I could pick up some take-out.

*I thought I might go to the store, instead. My refrigerator's completely bare. We

don't even have milk to eat a bowl of cereal.*

By yourself? I asked, trying not to appear as nervous as I felt at her suggestion.

Bella nodded her head.

*It's just up the road, Edward. I'll be fine.*

Why don't you wait for me? I signed. I'll be home by six. That's plenty of time to

go to the store together. We can pick up some take-out after, or if you prefer, we can
cook something. I know this week's been kind of crazy. I could use a home cooked
meal myself.

Bella sighed, and I thought for a moment that she might stick to her guns and

insist on going to the store herself, but she didn't. Instead she just nodded her head
in reluctant acceptance.

*We'd better get going,* she signed, walking past me to the front door. *You're

going to be late.*

Later that night, Bella and I lay naked under the sheets. She had let me make love

to her, and I was slow and tender, giving her multiple orgasms before allowing
myself to let go. I ran my fingers along her hairline now, marveling at how fast the
knot on her head was healing. Her hands were healing too, no longer requiring
bandages. But though her physical wounds were well on their way to becoming no

- 338 -

more than a distant memory, the emotional wounds ran deep. This was true for both
Bella and me.

How are you feeling? I asked, gingerly stroking the side of her face. It's been a

long week. You must be exhausted.

*I am. But going back to school was the right thing to do. I think I would have

gone crazy sitting around the apartment all day. I wouldn't have been able to think
about anything other than what happened.*

I thought about it all week, anyway, I confessed.

Bella looked upon me with weary brown eyes laden with sorrow and regret.

*I'm sorry this has been so hard on you.*

I was so scared that night, I admitted. I don't ever want to lose you. The thought

terrifies me. I scooted closer to her, wanting to feel every part of her skin on mine.

*I'm right here,* Bella reminded me, reaching out to place her hand over my heart

as she centered me with me with her gaze. *I'm not going anywhere.*

I closed my eyes, letting her words ground me. They were exactly what I needed

to hear only I had a hard time believing them.

Make love to me again. I need to feel you. I need...

Bella silenced me with her touch, her fingers slipping below my waist and guiding

me inside her. I exhaled a shaky sigh when we were finally connected. If only things
could remain this way forever. If only we could remain locked inside our little room,
safe from the world around us.

If only.

Two Weeks

Tuesdays were one of Bella's long days at school. She was either in class or

teaching all day long. I was thankful for that. It meant she had little reason, if any, to
leave the College of Behavioral Sciences building which suited me just fine. I
worried about her less when she remained in one location throughout most of the
day. It was also easier for me. I didn't have to coordinate picking her up and
dropping her off several times a day.

- 339 -

Two weeks after the incident in Ybor City, I still felt the need to keep a watchful

eye over Bella, but all the schedule coordination and running around that entailed
was beginning to take its toll on me. I was fucking exhausted, in every sense of the
word. Today, I had dropped Bella off at class at eight in the morning, met her for
lunch at one o'clock, escorted her to the library at 2:30 and was now returning to
campus at 5:50 to pick her up after teaching her last class. I had skipped my own
last class of the day, opting instead to go home to try and catch a few hours of sleep.
I knew it was irresponsible of me, but neither Bella nor I was sleeping all that well
at night, and I knew I would be worthless later on if I didn't get some rest in the
afternoon.

I parked in the lot behind the College of Behavioral Sciences, entering the

building through a set of rear doors. As I strolled down the hall towards the front
lobby where Bella usually waited for me, I glanced in the classroom where she
taught her last class of the day, just in case she had to stay behind to speak with one
of her students. I saw that the door was left open, but the light was switched off, so I
continued forward on my path. Rounding the corner at the end of the hall, I fully
expected to see her waiting for me, only today she wasn't there.

I took a deep breath, reminding myself to remain calm. Just because Bella wasn't

waiting for me at the front of the building didn't mean there was an immediate
cause for concern. It was only 5:55, five minutes after her class had been dismissed.
Perhaps she had gone upstairs to her office to drop off some paperwork before
leaving for the day, or maybe she needed to have a few words with her advisor. I
darted up the stairs, jogging to the end of the hall where a small collection of
graduate student offices were located, but her light was off and the door was closed.
After a thorough check of the rest of the building, which included sending several
strangers into all the women's restrooms, I concluded that Bella wasn't inside.

My heart skipped a beat in my chest, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into my

veins and slowly taking hold of me. Whipping my phone out of my pocket, I sent
Bella a quick text.

Where are you?

I hit send, waiting a minute for her to reply, but I didn't hear anything back so I

texted her again.

I'm waiting for you inside the College of Behavioral Sciences. Please tell

me where to find you.

Again, I waited, this time for two painfully long minutes, during which time I tried

- 340 -

to come up with a logical explanation for why Bella wasn't there. I focused on
anything... anything other than where my mind was determined to wander on its
own. If I allowed myself to go down that road, I might have a nervous breakdown.

Fucking, please! Where are you, Bella? You're scaring me!

I texted her again as I bolted out the front door of the building. Damn it! She knew

how important it was for her to wait for me inside, and I couldn't for the life of me
figure out why she had left, not to mention why she wasn't responding to my texts.
In a matter of moments I was breathing heavily as I sprinted across the lawn. I
wasn't sure where I was headed; I just knew I needed to find Bella.

I was about to turn in the direction of the cafeteria, thinking that maybe she had

decided to grab a bite to eat, when I saw it - a small hand waving at me from under
the umbrella of a large tree standing fifty yards away. Relief immediately washed
over me, nearly bringing me to my knees, but adrenaline still coursed through my
body and my muscles were still wound tight. I marched over to Bella with an angry
scowl on my face.

What the hell are you doing? I signed in aggravation when I stood before her. The

smile present on her face only moments before quickly fell.

*Edward, what's wrong?*

What's wrong? What's fucking wrong? I was sure I looked like a complete lunatic,

waving my hands frantically about, but I didn't care. You scared the shit out of me,
Bella! I didn't know where you were! Why the hell didn't you answer my texts?

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, her indignation plain to see.

*Calm down,* she ordered, pinning me with a furious stare. *My phone is in my

bag. I didn't realized you'd texted me.*

Why didn't you wait for me inside? We have a plan, Bella, and we need to stick to

it!

*A plan?* she angrily shot back.

Yes, a plan. For the last two weeks you've met me inside the building. Why are you

suddenly sitting outside? It's not safe!

*Edward, this is getting to be ridiculous! You're not my keeper!* Bella sharply

- 341 -

signed, her face set hard in anger. *You can't keep me locked up just because you
think it's safe! I'm fine! I just wanted a little bit of fresh air, that's all. It's such a
beautiful evening out...*

Bella's hands fell to her side as she took in my bedraggled appearance. My face

was flushed, my breathing was labored and my eyes were wide with worry. Angry
and defensive one moment, she was sympathetic the next, reaching out with her
hand to calm me with her touch.

*Come sit with me,* she beckoned with a resigned sigh, and I grasped her hand

tightly in mine, holding onto her for dear life. Touching her, it was like someone had
plugged me back in. I felt connected... whole again. I sat down by Bella's side,
immediately pulling her into a firm hug. She returned the embrace, securing her
arms around the center of my back and guiding my head into the crook of her neck.
She held me there for several long minutes, her fingers pulling gently through my
hair in short and soothing strokes.

She was comforting me. Bella was comforting me.

I'm sorry, I signed when I had finally calmed down enough to speak. I... when I

couldn't find you, I panicked. You weren't in the building and I didn't know where
you were and...

*Stop.*

Bella's hands slipped overtop of mine, suspending them in midair. *It's okay. I

understand.*

My eyes fell closed as I struggled to remain in control of my emotions. I felt like I

was losing it... losing total control of my entire life. Two short weeks ago, everything
was as it should be. My life was as close to picture perfect as I thought possible. But
ever since Bella had been taken, I was increasingly preoccupied with thoughts of
what if, and these thoughts were slowly starting to eat me alive.

*Are you okay?* Bella tentatively signed once I opened my eyes again. Her own

were shadowed over by deep concern - concern for me.

I shrugged my shoulders, unable to articulate an honest answer. I didn't want to

admit how fucked up I really was - that even in his absence, the presence of the man
who had violated her was still so strong.

*Edward, we can't do this,* she continued with a sad shake of her head. *We can't

- 342 -

let some anonymous individual completely control our lives!*

I was really fucking scared that night, I signed in response, the feelings still so

strong inside of me that it felt like just yesterday that Bella had been taken. Why
does this seem easy for you? I wondered, my forehead falling against hers. You're so
pulled together, and I'm a complete wreck.

*It's not easy,* Bella signed, her eyes meeting mine in a pointed gaze. *Believe

me, it's not. But I won't let some person I don't even know invade my life and change
every part of who I am. I don't like feeling out of control, Edward. I don't like looking
over my shoulder every second of every day. I don't like feeling scared all the time.
I... I can't live my life like that.*

Bella stared deep into my eyes, a helpless expression etched deep into the lines of

her face. Although she didn't say it, I knew I contributed to her anxiety. I tried not to
hover too much, but the truth of the matter was I hadn't let her out of my sight more
than a handful of times since she had been taken two weeks prior. When she wasn't
with me, I made sure she was with someone else. I constantly hounded Bella,
reminding her to be watchful and to tell me if she saw anything out of the ordinary.
God only knows I gave her cause for being on edge, and I hated that, but I didn't
know what to do to change that.

*I need some space,* Bella signed, and I immediately froze at her words. *Not that

type of space,* she rushed to explain after seeing the panicked expression on my
face. *I just don't want to feel like I'm a prisoner anymore. The sooner we get back
to living our lives, the sooner we can put this episode behind us.*

I think it's too soon to let our guard down, I signed, feeling strongly that we still

needed to remain vigilant.

*Edward... whoever did this to me, they're not coming back. It was a crime of

opportunity, and the more I think about it, I'm willing to bet Officer Thompson might
be right. For whatever reason, the perpetrator was looking to put the fear of God in
me. He accomplished his objective and he left.*

But why? I signed in frustration. I still can't figure out why!

*I don't know!* Bella responded in frustration, just as fed up with the situation as

me. *All I know is that I refuse to give my life over to this monster. Two weeks... two
weeks, Edward, we've been running from our own shadows! It's not right. I want us
to be us again,* she pleaded, her hand coming to rest on top of my thigh. *Can you
please just try? Can you just try to relax a little? It's what we both need.*

- 343 -

I knew Bella was right. I really did need to try and let go. We both did, but I didn't

know how. I was still blinded by fear... the fear of losing Bella. As much as I hated to
admit it, for the first time since knowing her, I viewed her as handicapped. She
lacked a vital human sense - the sense of hearing. It had been taken from her before
she ever took her first breath. Now, she wouldn't hear if someone approached her
from behind. She wouldn't be able to react quickly enough to the presence of an
intruder. This meant that if someone came after her again, they might be successful
in accomplishing whatever sick objectives they set forth, and that thought terrified
me.

Still, I knew I needed to try, if not for my sake then for Bella's.

I'll try, I said, doing my best to appear as if I actually meant what I said, but Bella

is a keen observer, and she noted my lack of conviction.

*Promise me,* she pressed, her eyes boring into mine.

I will, I'll try.

One Month

I tried, I really did. I think even Bella would agree that after our talk under the

tree that evening, I tried to let go. I didn't hover so closely, and I didn't text her as
much. I still drove her to and from school, and I continued to do my best to ensure
there was someone available to escort her around campus once she was there, but
as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into a month, Bella seemed less
and less willing to comply with my wishes.

It all came to a head one Monday morning. I had another early morning meeting

on campus, and there was no one available to drive Bella to school later in the day. I
wasn't crazy about her spending the morning alone in the apartment. We had
installed a security system, but I preferred for her to be on campus, where I felt she
was safe. Bella protested when I told her she needed to ride with me, and this time
she put her foot down, telling me she was going to stay home and drive herself to
campus when she was ready.

I really wish you'd reconsider, I signed, trying not to appear too impatient, but I

didn't have time for this.

*I won't reconsider. I'm tired of depending on everybody else to watch out for me.

It was a comfort in the beginning, but now it's just a nuisance!*

- 344 -

A nuisance?

*Yes, Edward, a nuisance! I can't go anywhere or do anything without reporting to

you beforehand, and even then, you insist upon a chaperone. Four weeks ago, I
needed that. It helped me to feel safe. But I don't need it anymore. Can't you see? I
want to get back to normal, is that so much to ask?*

It's not safe, Bella. We still don't know...

*We'll probably never know!* Bella signed in frustration, waving her hands

angrily in front of me. *We'll never know who abducted me because it was a random
act! I've come to terms with that, Edward, and the police have too. It's past time you
did the same!*

So what are you suggesting? That we just go back to the way things were before?

*That's exactly what I'm saying, and it's not a suggestion. I'm telling you what we

both need, Edward, and that is to let the fuck go! These past few weeks, we've
turned into shadows of our former selves. We never go out anymore – we travel from
the apartment to campus and back again. Going to the grocery is a luxury! I
understand what happened affected us both, but for whatever reason, it doesn't
seem like you're able to let it go!*

You're right. I can't.

*Why not? Why are you making such a big deal out of this?*

Why am I making a big deal out of this? Are you even serious? Bella, you were

kidnapped!Why are you pretending like what happened isn't important? I countered
in angry disbelief. Oh, right, because that's what you do. You gloss everything over
and pretend things don't matter, even when it comes to your own safety! You have
no sense of self-preservation, Bella, and it's really starting to frustrate me!

*You're suffocating me Edward!*

I reeled in shock, Bella's exclamation taking me completely by surprise and hitting

me with a force I wouldn't have expected. I stepped back from her, affronted by her
words.

I love you! I signed, still trying to process what she'd just said. I want you to be

safe! How can you say I'm suffocating you when all I want is for you to be safe?

- 345 -

*But at what expense? Bella signed in response, her face twisted tight in

frustration. You're killing me, Edward... you're killing us! You tell me what to do on a
daily basis and I just... I can't live my life like that anymore. I won't be controlled by
you, Edward, I won't. I'm deaf, but that doesn't mean I'm defenseless or that I need
someone to direct my life for me. I've fought too hard and for too long not to let that
happen.*

That's not what I'm trying to do.

*But if feels that way to me.*

I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do.

*Ease up on me, Edward. Give me some room to breathe,* Bella pleaded.

If that means compromising your safety, then I'm not sure I can...

*Then I'm not sure we have a future together. I can't... I just can't...*

Bella please... I moved toward her, wanting desperately to fix this clusterfuck of a

situation we found ourselves in, but she backed away from me.

*I think we both need some time,* she signed while shaking her head sadly. *We

both need some time to figure things out.*

Are you breaking up with me? I asked, my hands barely able to form the words. I

was shaking now, my hands trembling uncontrollably between us.

*No, I'm not breaking up with you,* Bella signed in response. *But I need some

space.*

Two weeks ago, Bella had said the very same thing, only then she'd quickly

reassured me she didn't need space from me. She didn't do that now. Instead, she
just stood quietly in the hallway, watching me out of sad, resigned eyes.

*You're going to be late,* she said, and while I couldn't care less about my

meeting, it was clear she wanted me to leave. I could try to fight her, convince her
that she was being unreasonable, but I knew it would do no good. Bella had made up
her mind, and if I pushed her, I might lose her for good.

When will I see you again? I asked, swallowing back the thick lump that was

quickly forming in the back of my throat.

- 346 -

I wouldn't fucking cry.

*We'll know when the time is right,* came Bella's vague response.

I didn't want to, but I knew I had no other choice but to respect her wishes.

Stepping forward, I bent to kiss her temple, letting my lips linger for a long moment
before pulling back and stepping away.

I love you, I signed. Please be safe.

*I love you too,* she signed back, but for the first time since we'd exchanged those

sacred words, the sentiment didn't bring me any comfort.

Endnotes:

I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow and will be unable to reply to reviews

during the two weeks that I'll be gone. The only internet connection
available where I'm going is courtesy of a little coffee shop in the heart of
the one stop light town. I will do my best to try and post the next chapter
sometime next week. Thank you for your understanding!

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 347 -

Approaching Shore

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 26 - Approaching Shore

I didn't sleep the night that Bella asked me to leave, nor did I sleep the night after,

which meant that I was hardly able to function during the day. Studying was a lost
cause, which was an important concern seeing as that finals started the following
week. Finals, then graduation. My parents were scheduled to arrive in less than two
weeks' time, but at that point I wasn't sure whether or not I would have a girlfriend
to introduce them to or not. I tried not to think that way; I didn't want to be overly
pessimistic, but I knew that I had screwed up, and the only way to possibly fix things
would be to give Bella the space she needed in the hopes that she would eventually
come around. I just wished she could see that I was acting out of concern for her. I
had absolutely no desire to control her. I loved her, and I was terrified of her getting
hurt. That was the crux of the matter.

- 348 -

I didn't go to sign language class on Monday; I figured it was best to stay away.

Honestly, I was still so worked up over our disagreement that I wasn't sure I would
be able to give Bella the space she needed. I wanted to honor her request; as much
as it killed me to stay away from her, I wanted her to know that I had listened to
what she'd said. This included denying the almost overwhelming urge I had to
surreptitiously follow her from class to class. I was tempted to say "fuck it" and do
whatever was necessary to keep her safe, but I knew if I was caught she would be
angry with me, and I didn't want to give her any further reason to put space
between us.

I couldn't skip class on Wednesday. We had a final coming up, and I needed to

know what to study for the exam. When I stepped into the room, I was anxious and
on edge. I sat in the back, tucked away in a corner, not wanting to see or talk to
anybody.

When Bella arrived, I exhaled a deep sigh of relief. I hadn't seen her in over 48

hours, and they had been the longest 48 hours of my entire fucking life. Just
knowing that she was all right was enough to temporarily settle my nerves. Bella
looked up, her eyes scanning the room as she searched for me. Had she noticed my
absence on Monday afternoon? Had she missed me as much as I had missed her?

I wondered about all of these things as I anxiously waited for her to find me in the

crowd. When her eyes finally met mine, there was no need for me to wonder
anymore. She was visibly relieved to see me, which was all the confirmation I
needed to know that Bella didn't want to be away from me any more than I wanted
to be away from her. This knowledge buoyed my hopes, making me believe we could
work through our problems. My eyes lingered on hers, drinking the sight of her in
before wandering south to her chest. There, I spotted her pendant, nestled in the
valley between her breasts, and I had to swallow back the tidal wave of emotions
that crashed into me when I thought about the night I had given it to her.

For the remainder of the period, Bella's pendant shone like a beacon in a storm,

beckoning me forth and reassuring me that I still had something to hold on to. But
storms can swallow us whole, and I worried I might drown while following my
guiding light. How long was Bella going to make me wait? How long till I could hold
her in my arms again, till I could make love to her like my mind and body ached to
do? I needed answers to all these questions, but I knew I wouldn't get them today. It
was too soon. Class ended, and with a forlorn glance in my direction, Bella was
gone.

Friday played out much the same way Wednesday did. I waited a full ten minutes

after sign language class was dismissed before walking from the College of

- 349 -

Behavioral Sciences to the University Center. I knew if I left any earlier, I would be
tempted to catch up with Bella. At the very minimum, I wouldn't be able to resist
following her, so instead of creating more problems for myself, I directed my energy
towards studying. It was definitely the wiser of my two choices. Exams began
Monday, and I couldn't chance screwing up now, in my final hour. I had worked hard
to get to where I was, and as preoccupied as I was by everything that was going on
in my life, I couldn't let it derail my plans.

When I walked through the University Center doors, I briefly considered going

home to study instead. There were students everywhere, occupying nearly every
available table. But I reminded myself that was the reason I was there - because the
quiet of my home reminded me too much of Bella, rendering me useless. Taking a
seat at a small table off to the side, I opened my Biochemistry book only to be taken
by surprise when Jake appeared opposite me, pulling out a chair and turning it
around so that it was facing backward before swinging his leg over the side.

"What's up, Cullen?"

I looked up from my text into Jake's penetrating brown eyes, noting that his

expression was anything but casual. Over the last month, he and I had formed a
tentative friendship, so it wasn't unusual for us to stop to say hello when we ran into
each other, but today it was clear he had something else on his mind, and it didn't
take a genius to figure out what. He must have spoken to Bella.

"Not much," I cautiously replied. "Just trying to get some studying done."

"Where's Bella?" he pressed, wasting no time in cutting to the chase, and I sighed

heavily, not really wanting to hash out my problems with him.

"I'm not sure," I answered in an off-handed tone. I turned my attention back to my

text, hoping Jake would take a hint and leave, but that wasn't going to happen.

"Look, Edward," he sighed. "I know something happened between the two of you. I

realize it's probably none of my business, and if you tell me to 'fuck off', I'll get up
and leave, but Bella's hurting, and you know I don't like to see that. I thought at first
it might have something to do with the case, but when I asked her about it, she told
me that wasn't it."

"It's not," I confirmed with a resigned shake of my head. "In fact, she's all but put

the incident behind her," I muttered before adding, "unlike me," under my breath.

"What's that?" Jake asked, his brows pulling together in curiosity as he turned his

- 350 -

head to his side.

"Nothing," I mumbled, kicking myself for saying anything at all. I really didn't

want to talk about this.

"Huh, that's funny," Jake commented while slowly running his thumb and

forefinger under his chin in thought. "It doesn't sound like 'nothing' to me."

"Look, man," I said with a heavy sigh. "What do you want me to say? Do you want

me to tell you that Bella and I had a fight? Do you want me to tell you that I'm
scared shitless of losing her? Because we did and I am."

"What was the fight about?"

Jake's words were delivered softly, laced with genuine concern, and when I raised

my head to meet his solemn gaze, I realized he wasn't just worried about Bella - he
was worried about me too. In that moment, I waged an internal war, questioning
whether or not I should tell Jake what happened. I didn't like to openly discuss my
problems with other people and certainly not with the ex-boyfriend of the girl I was
in love with, but I had been trying to figure things out on my own for days now, and I
hadn't met with any luck. It occurred to me then that maybe I needed some
direction, some help in making sense of what had happened. Honestly, if this was
the case, Jake was the best person for me to be talking to. Aside from me, he knew
Bella better than anyone else. He was her best friend, after all, and had been for a
very long time.

"She thinks I'm overprotective," I finally admitted, and I watched as Jake slowly

nodded his head.

"You have every reason to be after what happened."

My eyes lit up in surprised relief.

"See? You understand! Why can't Bella understand too?" I lamented with a

frustrated sigh.

"I said you had every reason to be overprotective, Edward, not that you should

be," Jake qualified upon noting my reaction. He's words deflated me, and
immediately put me on the defensive.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," I growled. Jake threw his hands in the

air, signaling to me that he wasn't interested in a fight, and I felt guilty for snapping

- 351 -

at him.

"It means I understand that you're worried about Bella, but there's a difference

between demonstrating concern for someone and stealing their freedom."

"Did she say that?" I asked.

"No, she didn't, but she doesn't have to, Edward. I've been with you all month

long, coordinating my schedule with the both of yours so she never has to be alone,
all at your insistence."

Jake paused, searching for the right words to say before continuing. "I know

you've been keeping Bella close these past few weeks, and I understand why, but
she's never been one to respond well to being told what to do. She's an independent
woman, Edward, you know that. Maybe it just got to be too much for her," Jake
surmised with a sagely shrug of his shoulders.

"What do people expect from me?" I ground out, completely exasperated by the

situation. I understood what Jake was saying, I really did, but why couldn't he and
Bella understand where I was coming from too? Bella was everything to me. She
was the woman I'd fallen in love with, the only woman I could ever see spending my
life with, and I was terrified of losing that; I was terrified of losing everything that
meant anything to me. Why couldn't they see that? I didn't act out of some twisted
need to control Bella, I acted out of... out of...

"Jesus Christ," I swore under my breath as my hands found their way into my hair.

I desperately wanted to say that I had acted out of love, but I realized then it
wouldn't have been the truth for the reality was, all those weeks I'd been acting out
of fear. My overprotectiveness had been a reaction to the fear I felt that I might lose
Bella. But was that any way to live? I was wound up so tight lately that I could
barely think straight most of the time, so I knew I was miserable to be around. Add
to that my constant need to know where Bella was and what she was doing, and it
was no wonder she had asked me for space. The question was would things ever get
back to normal? Could I ever learn to let go?

"God this is so fucked up," I cried in frustration. "I just... I was trying to do what I

thought was best."

"Maybe what's best for you isn't what Bella feels is best for her," Jake spoke

quietly. "Try and think about things from her perspective," he continued. "Her entire
life, she's had to fight harder than most to prove herself as competent and capable.
You've seen it; I know you've seen the way some people view the deaf. They see

- 352 -

them as handicapped, as somehow lacking the ability to fully function in society.
Bella's worked hard to prove that's not the case, but now, here you are, telling her
precisely what she's fought so hard to deny - that she's not capable of taking care of
herself, that she needs someone to do it for her."

"I just want her to be safe," I whispered in a defeated tone of voice, because at the

end of the day, that's what this was really all about.

"I know you do," Jake replied sympathetically. "But at what expense?" he

wondered aloud. "You're killing her spirit, Edward, the most beautiful part of who
she is. Is it really worth that? Is it really worth losing her over?" he pressed.
"Because it's entirely possible you could. If you hover too closely and insist on telling
her what to do, you could lose Bella. She's loves you, I don't doubt that for a minute,
but there are some things I know she's just not willing to give up."

Jake's words hung heavy in my ears. As if I didn't have enough to think about

already, Jake had just given me more. I scrubbed my hands over my face in
frustration, wishing this fucking nightmare would come to an end. Knowing I would
never get any studying done now, I flipped my book closed and slipped it inside my
backpack. When I turned back to face Jake, his expression was firm.

"Don't screw this up, Cullen," he said in friendly warning. "Take it from me; you've

got a hell of a lot to lose."

"I know I do," I replied in all honesty before thanking him for his advice and

heading on my way.

Later that night, I lay in bed, thinking about everything Jake had said. My mind

was spinning in multiple directions, and now, more than ever, I needed Bella there
to ground me and to help me through. Five days... it had been five days since we'd
last spoken, and the silence was slowly killing me. Unable to resist, I picked up my
phone and sent her a text. I just needed to feel connected to her, consequences be
damned.

Are you still up?

I sent the text knowing there was a chance she wouldn't respond either because it

was late or because she didn't want to, so I couldn't contain the smile that crept
across my face when moments later a response lit up my screen.

Yeah. Still studying. How about you?

- 353 -

I resisted the urge to ask her where she was, even though I was dying to know. I

knew I needed to work on trusting Bella - trusting that she could take care of
herself, even though every instinct I had told me to do whatever was necessary to
protect her. It was a constant battle within me, one I wasn't sure I would ever win.

About to go to bed. I miss you.

I miss you too.

Her reply was instantaneous, which encouraged me a little. There was no

hesitation on her part to reassure me she felt the same way I did, so I staked my
hope to that very fact, praying that soon she would have no reason to miss me.

Promise me something, will you?

What's that?

Think about me tonight before you go to sleep.

I hit send, hoping I wasn't overstepping my bounds. Thankfully, Bella only took a

moment to respond, and when she did, her words were enough to soothe my weary
soul.

I will. But Green Eyes?

The screen went blank for a moment, and I lay in bed, anxiously awaiting the rest

of Bella's response. It was slow in coming, which made me wonder if she was at
home, tucked snugly underneath her sheets, and had fallen asleep while texting me.
The thought warmed my heart, but then my phone buzzed in my hand.

You don't have to ask me to promise you that. I think about you every

night before I go to sleep.

Uponreading her words, I exhaled a shaky sigh, my feelings collapsing in on me as

a rush of emotions consumed me. God, I wanted to be with Bella... needed to feel
her by my side. But I wouldn't go to her. Even though every part of me screamed to
be near her, I wouldn't go to her. Instead, I would give her the space she needed in
the hopes that my actions would speak as loudly as my words.

I think about you every night too. Goodnight, my one and only. I love you.

By Sunday evening, I thought I might lose my mind. I hadn't spoken with Bella

- 354 -

since our impromptu conversation on Friday night, and I hadn't touched her in
nearly one week. I wondered how much longer our self-imposed separation would
last. I didn't really have a clear idea of what exactly we were doing. I had been
waiting for Bella to approach me, to tell me that she was ready to work things out,
but now I wondered if maybe I was the one that would have to make the first move.
Maybe that's what she had been waiting for all along. I still wasn't sure I was ready
to tell her what she wanted to hear, but I knew I needed to tell her something. I
knew we needed to talk.

Emmett's boisterous voice boomed through our small apartment, alerting me to

his presence before he popped his head inside my room.

"Hey, Edward! Time for a break! You've had your head in your books and a stick

up your ass all weekend. There's a pre-exam party at Tanya's sorority tonight, and
you're going to tag along. I'm not taking no for an answer."

"A pre-exam party?" I questioned while looking up from my books. "That's an

oxymoron if I ever heard one."

"Whatever, dude. You need a serious break. You've been way too intense for your

own good this past week."

I started to protest, but Emmett held up his hand, preventing me from speaking.

"Look. I get it. I know you and Bella are taking some time to sort things through,

but you're wound up so tight you're never going to come to your senses. You need to
fucking relax."

"Oh yeah? And how exactly am I supposed to do that?"

"By going out with your best friend and drinking a couple of beers, that's how,"

Emmett snorted, as if the answer to my question was the most obvious thing in the
world.

"Em, look. I appreciate the offer, but I'm not sure that going to a party at Tanya's

sorority..."

"Oh, get over yourself you pompous ass," Emmett joshed with an intentional roll of

his eyes. "That girl is long over you. And thank God for that. Seems you're in love
with another woman."

"Tanya's dating someone?" I inquired with genuine surprise, and Emmett

- 355 -

confirmed my question with a nod of his head.

"For about a month now, oh ye who lives under a fucking rock. Nice guy, too. Rose

and I really like him."

"Well, I'm happy for her. I always liked her... just not in that way."

"Yeah, in retrospect, it was pretty obvious from the start that Bella was the one

that would own your ass."

"That is until I fucked everything up," I muttered.

"You didn't fuck everything up, Edward," Emmett interjected with a loud sigh.

"You and Bella are just taking some time to figure things out is all, and I don't
necessarily think that's a bad thing. Sometimes a little time and space can give us
the perspective we need to move forward."

I studied Emmett curiously, surprised by his thoughtful insight.

"Since when did you become so wise?" I wondered while cracking a smile for the

first time that night. Emmett returned my smile.

"Believe me, brother, there's much more advice to be given if you'll just follow me

into my lair... or Tanya's lair. Fuck, that came out all wrong," Emmett mumbled with
a hearty, embarrassed laugh. I laughed along with him, and I was pretty sure it was
the first time that sound had escaped my lips in more than a month.

"One hour, Em. That's all I'm giving you," I said as I pushed my books to the side

and stood from where I was studying at my desk.

"I can work with that," was Emmett's pleased response, and ten minutes later we

were on our way to a party.

Walking into Tanya's sorority house was kind of surreal and reminded me that I

hadn't lived much of a college life since I'd met Bella. I couldn't remember the last
time I had attended a sorority party; it was probably in the beginning of the
semester last year. Not that I cared. Pushing past the crowd of inebriated people, I
didn't miss a thing. There had been a point in my life when I enjoyed this type of
scene. Truth be told, I would have seen it as the perfect place to pick up a girl,
screw around a little and leave. But I wasn't that person anymore. The thought of
touching another woman repulsed me. There was only room in my heart for one
person now, and that was Bella.

- 356 -

I was a little surprised by the number of people out partying on the Sunday night

before exams started. Then again, I understood more than most the need to fucking
let go. The stress of school was enough to bring anyone down, let alone the stress of
a relationship piled on top of that. Still, I intended to stick to my word and only hang
out for an hour. A couple of beers on the back porch with Emmett and I decided I
would be ready to go. I was actually ready to go the moment I walked through the
front door, but I wanted to humor Emmett, who was trying, in his own way, to help
me.

As I stepped outside into the thick humidity of the night air, I spotted Tanya and

Rose standing off to the side with who I could only assume was Tanya's new
boyfriend. Both girls raised their hands in greeting, but they didn't make any move
to walk in my direction. That was okay. I wasn't up for small talk and instead let my
eyes aimlessly roam the crowd, people-watching while Emmett grabbed us
something to drink. There were a lot of fucking people out tonight, but it didn't take
long for me to notice a thick head of bouncy, blonde hair I knew all too well.

Jessica.

I groaned when almost as soon as I spotted her, she turned in my direction and

waved.

"Hi, Edward!" she yelled from across the lawn. Before I even had a chance to

acknowledge her, she was moving in my direction, drink in hand.

"What are you doing here?" she asked upon making her way to my side. Though

she wasn't drunk, she was definitely buzzed, a trademark goofy grin plastered
across her face.

"Taking a break from studying," I shrugged. "I came with some friends."

"No girlfriend?" she brazenly wondered, and I bristled at her words.

"No. She's home studying."

I wasn't entirely certain that was the case, but I sure as hell wasn't going to tell

Jessica that I was working through some issues with my girlfriend. Though she
supposedly had a boyfriend, the way her eyes lingered on my lips made me feel
uncomfortable, and I didn't want to give her any ideas.

"Oh, well I'm here with my boyfriend. He's around here somewhere," she said

while gesturing about with her hand. "Oh, there he is!" she exclaimed, and when I

- 357 -

looked in the direction in which she was pointing, my heart turned to stone in my
chest.

"What the fuck?" I growled under my breath as steely blue eyes locked with my

own. I'd know that face fucking anywhere.

"Motherfucker!" I swore out loud, and Jessica turned to me in alarm.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

"Jessica, please tell me you're not dating... James," I seethed. I saw him marching

in our direction with a smug expression on his face, and all the anger and rage I'd
felt that night in the club when he had mercilessly teased Bella came rushing up to
the surface.

"What's your problem?" Jessica asked, her eyes narrowing in annoyance at my

loathing. "Do you two know each other?"

Before I had a chance to answer her, Emmett appeared before me, worry etched

deeply in the lines of his face.

"Calm the fuck down, Edward," he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me he'd be here?" I snapped.

"I didn't know..."

Just then, James arrived at Jessica's side, interrupting our exchange. I watched as

his arm slipped possessively around her waist, and I had to stifle a revolted laugh.
As if I coveted her. My eyes traced the lines of his unfriendly face, my lips curling up
in disgust as he smirked in my direction.

"What's up, Cullen? How's that girlfriend of yours?" he asked while flashing me a

sinister smile.

Jessica stared up at her boyfriend in confusion.

"You know Edward?" she asked.

"You could say we're acquainted," James casually offered, his hand coming up to

rub along the crooked edge of his nose.

- 358 -

In that moment, time stood still as everything fell into place, and I couldn't believe

that I hadn't put the pieces of the puzzle together before. A rush of adrenaline shot
through my system, driving me forward in uncontrollable rage as my hand drew
back before throwing a punch. Jessica's shrill scream drowned out my furious cry.

"I'll fucking kill you, you motherfucker!"

My fist was millimeters away from James' face when I felt Emmett's rough arms

forcefully pull me back.

"What the fuck are you doing, Edward?" he screamed into my ear. My chest was

heaving, my eyes were wide, and my hands flailed helplessly by my side.

"Let me go!" I shouted, not caring that I was drawing the attention of every

asshole at the party. Meanwhile, James just stared on at me with the sickest, most
twisted grin I'd ever seen. "He's the one, Emmett! He's the one who fucking took
her! He took Bella!" I yelled.

Emmett's body tensed behind me, his breath catching in the back of his throat as

his chest tightened in alarm.

"How do you know?" he ground out, his arms still strong around me. I struggled to

escape, but he was too fucking strong.

"His nose, Emmett! His broken nose! Bella said... she said his nose was crooked.

And he was there that night, weren't you, you motherfucker!" I yelled in James'
direction.

"Edward, what are you talking about?" Jessica pleaded. Tears were shining in her

eyes as she looked between me and James. Spectators looked on, but none of them
dared to interfere.

"That night one month ago, when I saw you at Techinque in Ybor City," I seethed

while turning to face her. "He was there with you, wasn't he? James is the boyfriend
you were talking about..."

"Ye...ye... yes," Jessica stammered, and I noticed James' face fall just a little before

he composed himself again. The fucker was worried she would give him away.

"Your boyfriend is a fucking monster!" I yelled, still struggling against Emmett's

hold. "He's a fucking sociopath! He took my girlfriend and tied her up. He dragged
her through the streets of Ybor City and left her to fend for herself in an alley!" I

- 359 -

cried, my voice on the verge of tears.

"Are you crazy?" Jessica screeched. "What in the hell are you talking about?" From

the look of shock on her face, it was clear she had no idea what James was capable
of.

"I'm talking about James! He attacked my fucking girlfriend and I'm going to

fucking kill him for it!"

Emmett's arms tightened around me from behind.

"Stop making threats, Edward," he warned, and somewhere in the back of my

mind, I knew I needed to listen to him. From the smug look on James' face, I could
see that he was enjoying watching me fall apart. The fucker was baiting me, waiting
for me to take a strike so that he could call the police on me.

I didn't fucking care. Let him call the police. He wouldn't be so smug when his ass

landed behind bars on charges of kidnapping and false imprisonment!

"Who's your girlfriend?" Jessica cried, obviously distraught and trying as hard as I

was to make sense of the situation. When I told her it was Isabella Swan, her eyes
opened wide in horror. Her hand clapped tight against her mouth and she let out a
strangled gasp.

"You know, don't you," I challenged her. "You know he did it!" I screamed.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head and wiping at the tears that were now

streaming down the center of both her cheeks. "He, he..." Jessica turned pleading
eyes on James before her head snapped back in my direction. "He wouldn't do
that..."

"He would and he did!" I yelled before growling, "fucking let me go, Emmett!"

I needed to get to James. I needed to make him pay for everything he'd put Bella

and me through over the last month, but Emmett wouldn't budge.

"I won't let you go, Edward," Emmett growled right back, and before I knew it, he

was pulling me backward, around the side of the sorority house and through the
gate leading out to the front lawn.

"Jesus Christ, let me go, Emmett! Where are you taking me?" I started kicking and

hitting, doing my best to break free, but the harder I fought, the tighter Emmett's

- 360 -

hold on me was. Fuck football and all the years of physical training that went into
creating a fucking perfect athlete, I thought to myself, knowing I had no hopes of
escaping the grip of a man who played offensive tackle on his high school football
team. Knowing it was a worthless cause, I eventually stopped fighting him, letting
my back slump against his chest.

"Are you fucking done?" Emmett asked, his labored breathing causing his chest to

furiously pound against my back. He held me firm until I nodded my head. "Good,
because I'm not going in there and saving your ass again. What the fuck was that,
Edward?"

Stepping free of Emmett's iron clad embrace, I swung around and faced him.

"That sick shit took Bella!" I yelled, completely pissed off at the accusatory tone in

Emmett's voice. Whose side was he on, anyway?

"Do you know that for a fact?" he shot back.

"Yes... no... fuck!" I ran my hands up in my hair, tugging sharply in frustration. "I

don't know for sure, okay? What I do know is that asshole was goading me, begging
me to lose control. I saw it Emmett, I saw it in his eyes. He took Bella, I know it. She
said his nose was crooked... she said his nose was crooked..." I wiped furiously at my
face as angry tears unexpectedly sprung to my eyes and it was then that Emmett's
face softened.

"Shit, man, you're a mess," he said, shaking his head sadly.

"Fuck! I can't fucking do this anymore!" I cried. "I just want things to go back to

the way they were before, Emmett. I just want Bella back."

"I don't think you've lost her, Edward," Emmett quietly stated while stepping

forward and clapping a comforting hand on my shoulder. "It's just... shit...
everything's been so intense this last month. But do you seriously think she'd be
okay with you going off on James like that?"

"That sick fuck belongs in jail," I spat. "I'd be doing him a favor knocking him off

now because if people knew what he did to a completely helpless woman he
wouldn't last long behind bars."

"Jesus, Edward, you've got to shut the fuck up," Emmett snarled, his voice once

again cold and hard. "If someone hears you..."

- 361 -

"I don't give a fuck who hears me!" I shouted before realizing I was very close to

losing control again. I took a deep breath, sinking to the grass below me as I buried
my head in the palms of my hands.

Emmett gave me a few moments to collect myself before coming to sit by my side.

"If James did this, what do you think his motive was?" he quietly inquired. "Not that
he'd necessarily need one. I told you before, that boy's got serious problems. Thank
God Victoria got out of that relationship."

Yeah, Victoria got out and Jessica got in, I thought to myself.

"I don't know," I replied with a frustrated sigh. "Revenge maybe? For me breaking

his nose?"

Emmett considered this for a moment before slowly nodding his head. "I guess it's

possible. But if that's the case, think about it this way. Now we know. We know who
went after Bella that night and why, so there's no reason to continue walking
around, wondering who did it or whether they're coming back."

I looked up at Emmett in surprise. I hadn't really considered that point, though

even if it was true, it didn't necessarily make me feel any better. James seemed to
have some twisted fascination with Bella, and it scared the ever living fuck out of
me. But sitting there on the ground, one thing was slowly becoming clear...

I couldn't fucking do this anymore. I couldn't do this without Bella. I fucking

needed her with me and we needed to work this shit out together. So while a part of
me wanted to bolt back into that party and find James and pommel him into the
ground, the larger part of me knew I had somewhere else I needed to be.

"Em?"

"Yeah, man?"

"Can you give me a lift to Bella's?"

Emmett cautiously appraised me as he considered my request.

"Are you sure that's the best thing to do right now?"

"It's the only thing to do," I said with conviction as I stood from where I sat. And

when Emmett rose from the ground beside me, I could see it in his face that he
couldn't agree with me more.

- 362 -

Endnotes:

So, I really dislike when there's a lot going on in a story and I have to wait

weeks in-between updates, so I wandered into town to post this. Currently,
I'm gazing out at the wide expanse of Lake Erie, thankful to be free of the
stifling Forida heat. I've been coming to this sleepy little lakefront town for
30 years now. Some of you may remember Kelley's Island from Chance
Encounter - it's just a five minute boat ride away. I'll be going there on
Friday. It would be nice if life was always this simple. The Fandom fell into a
state of crisis this past week, and I've got to admit, I let it affect me way
more than I should. Maybe it's good that I'll be disconnected these next few
weeks.

Anyway, as much as I hate to say it, it will definitely be a minimum of 2

weeks before the next update, but at least you know that Edward is going to
get his girl back. ;) Hopefully that will be enough to make up for where
things left off last chapter.

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back!

- 363 -

The Calm after the Storm

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 27 – The Calm After the Storm

By the time we turned into Bella's apartment complex, I'd managed to temper

some of my emotional intensity. I was still a wreck; the confrontation with James had
really fucked with me. Just the thought that he had touched Bella, let alone violated
her by stripping her of her senses and dragging her through the streets of Ybor City
was enough to cause me to come completely undone. My entire body was vibrating
with an animalistic need to hunt him down and make him suffer for what he'd done.
But I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't chance alienating myself from Bella. Having to
face life without her this past week was enough to sober me up to reality and keep
me from doing something stupid. If I'd learned anything during our time apart it was

- 364 -

that I fucking needed her. I loved Bella, and it didn't matter what I had to do, I was
going to make certain we didn't let what happened swallow us whole. We couldn't.
We simply had too much to lose.

"You gonna be okay? You want me to hang around for a bit?" Emmett asked as he

pulled into a parking space in front of Bella's apartment. I was relieved to see that
her lights were on. I hadn't been sure whether or not she would be home when I left
the party, but I had decided against texting her to let her know I was on my way
because in the back of my mind, I was worried she might try to talk me out of it.

"No, man. It's all right. I'll be okay."

"You sure?" he pressed. He sounded worried. "What if she doesn't let you in?"

"She'll let me in," I replied, sounding more confident than I actually felt. The truth

was I didn't know for sure that she would, but I needed to talk to Bella, and I was
willing to do whatever was necessary to make that happen, even if I had to camp out
on her front step.

"Okay. Well, call me if you need me, all right? It doesn't matter what time."

I turned to look at Emmett, sincerely grateful for everything he had done to help

me tonight. Thank God one of us had kept our heads about us at the party. I didn't
even want to think about how Bella would have reacted if I'd landed my ass in jail
for attacking James. Not that the fucker didn't deserve it; he deserved all that and
much more as far as I was concerned, but I didn't have any actual proof that he'd
been the one to take Bella, and meting out justice on my own wouldn't solve
anything. I wouldn't make that sort of egregious error, not when it seemed my entire
life hung in the balance.

"Thanks, Em. For everything. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't

there tonight…"

"Don't thank me," Emmett replied with a shake of his head. "Just don't do anything

stupid, okay?"

"I won't," I promised before exiting his Jeep. I slapped my hand twice on the hood

before he backed away. When he'd disappeared around the corner, I took a deep
breath and walked towards Bella's front door.

"Don't fuck this up, Cullen," I mumbled to myself under my breath as I pressed the

doorbell twice in succession.

- 365 -

Through the window, I could see the lights in Bella's apartment flicker off and on,

alerting her to my presence. The blinds were drawn, so it was impossible for me to
see inside. They were supposed to remain permanently closed to prevent unwanted
persons from peering inside. It was a precaution the police had suggested we take.
Bella hadn't minded at first, but as the weeks wore on, she complained about the
dark. She didn't like it. It made her feel edgy and depressed. She wanted to let the
light in, but I'd warned her that I didn't think it was a good idea. Eventually, against
my wishes, she began opening the blinds during the day. I wasn't happy about it, but
she snapped at me when I suggested they remain closed. I was glad to see that at
least at night, she had enough sense to keep them drawn.

Rubbing my palms against the smooth grain of my jeans, I shifted my weight from

foot to foot as I anxiously waited for Bella to open the door. It seemed like forever
before I heard the all too familiar sound of the deadbolt and lock disengaging, and I
watched as the door swung slowly open.

When I saw Bella standing there, illuminated by the warm glow of the front stoop

light, I sucked in a ragged breath. I hadn't been this close to her in nearly a week,
and every part of me cried out to touch her. The pull was magnetic, north
connecting to south in an attraction neither one of us could ever deny. Bella felt it
too. It might not have been obvious to anybody but me, but the way her body
trembled with the effort it took not to immediately move into my waiting arms told
me she'd missed me as much as I'd missed her.

In the end, Bella couldn't stay away from me. She was as weak as I was, both of us

desperate for each other's touch, and I knew in that moment she wouldn't turn me
away. Stepping forward, I pushed open the door, closing the distance between us
and reaching out to cradle her face in the palms of my hands before leaning in and
softly brushing my lips against hers.

Stripped of her defenses, Bella's delicate lips molded quietly against mine. It was

a bittersweet kiss, tinged with longing and frustration and the desperate need to
reconnect with each other. Unable to hold back, I pulled her closer, deepening the
kiss. Bella's needy hands fisted into my shirt, fastening her body securely against
mine, and in a matter of moments, we were kissing each other with tameless
abandon, our mouths moving together with such force it elicited desperate sighs
from the both of us. In the back of my mind I knew that we needed to sit down and
talk, but I needed her so much in that moment that I didn't even think to question
whether or not we were getting ahead of ourselves. I just gave myself over to
instinct, to pure and unbridled desire and my singular need to be as close to Bella as
possible.

- 366 -

Never parting my lips from hers, I guided us into the apartment, pushing the door

closed with my foot all the while walking backward until Bella was pressed firmly
against the wall. She whimpered as I pressed the entire length of my body against
hers, her mouth stealing the breath from mine as she showed me with her body just
how much she had missed me. I'd fucking missed her too, and even though I knew it
was probably wrong, I wanted to be with her right then and there. I wanted to bury
myself inside of her. Everything else faded to black except her and me and our two
bodies that were screaming to be joined. I pressed myself harder against her,
eliciting a soft moan from her perfectly parted lips, but as I kissed her sweet face,
the salty taste of freshly shed tears brought me up short, and it was then that I knew
I had to pull back.

Leaning my forehead against Bella's, I took a deep and centering breath before

raising my right hand to her face and gently brushing the tears from her cheek.
"Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you," I whispered.

Bella's lower lip trembled as she quietly acknowledged my spoken words, emotion

hanging thick in her expressive brown eyes. For a brief moment, her hand moved to
cover mine. She held the palm of my hand tight against her cheek before slipping
both her hands between us to sign.

*I've missed you, Green Eyes. You can't begin to know how much. But…* Bella

hesitated before continuing. *We need to talk.*

I know, I acknowledged with a silent nod of my head, not bothering with trying to

delay the inevitable. While I would have much rather swept Bella off of her feet and
carried her into her room to make love to her, that wouldn't happen until we cleared
the air.

Bella gazed deep into my eyes. *Are you ready?*

I nodded my head again while waving the letter "r" between the two of us. A hint

of a relieved smile ghosted across Bella's face, and she took my hand in hers,
leading me over to the couch where we sat down across from each another, far
enough apart so that we could comfortably sign but close enough together that our
bodies were still touching.

*I'm glad you came,* Bella stated once we were finally settled together on the

couch. She never looked away as she signed, making sure to hold my gaze firm with
hers, and I was relieved to see that she was genuine in her words. The conversation
we were about to have would be a whole lot easier with the both of us acting as
willing participants.

- 367 -

This past week has been hell for me, I sighed.

*It's been difficult for me too,* Bella admitted. She paused for a moment before

signing, *Edward, I'm so sorry…*

Her apology took me by surprise, and I tried to interrupt her, telling her she didn't

have anything to be sorry for, but she wouldn't let me.

*Please, just hear me out,* she requested with pleading eyes, and I acknowledged

her request with a silent nod.

* I've been thinking a lot about what happened this past week. I was actually

going to come by your apartment tomorrow, but you're here now, so...*

*I realize now I never should have walked away from you, Edward. I had my

reasons, and they made sense to me at the time, but it was the wrong thing to do. I
should have recognized that we were dealing with an incredibly stressful situation in
two entirely different ways, and tried harder to come up with a solution that worked
for the both of us. But I didn't. Instead, I pushed you away. You're the one person
who means more to me than anything else, and I pushed you away. I'm so sorry.*

Bella hung her head in remorse, clearly repentant for the part she felt she had

played in our separation, but I couldn't stand by and let her shoulder the entire
burden when the truth was we both bore responsibility - me more so than her.

"Hey," I murmured, reaching out to tilt her chin upwards while shaking my head

slowly back and forth. Don't do that. Neither one of us are entirely to blame here.
You tried talking to me and telling me that I was being too controlling, but I
wouldn't listen.

I hesitated for a moment, trying to find the words I needed to help her understand

why I'd behaved the way I had.

I was driven by fear, Bella, I finally explained. I was driven by the fear that

something else might happen to you – that someone might try to take you again and
hurt you and… God… I paused, a small shudder running through my body. It got to
the point that if you weren't in my direct line of sight, I was completely overcome
with anxiety. It was like I couldn't function without having visible evidence that you
were safe. But, taking a step back, I see now how wrong that was. It's no way to live.
You kept trying to tell me that, but I wouldn't listen.

*You only wanted to keep me safe,* Bella replied with a sad shake of her head.

- 368 -

I did, but… listen to me. Tonight, I… I almost fucked things up, and I realized that

nothing was worth losing you…

Bella's eyes rose to meet mine.

*What happened?* she asked, her expression shifting to one of worry. I swallowed

hard before continuing.

I saw James.

No sooner had I signed his name than Bella froze in place, the breath catching in

the back of her throat as her eyes flashed wild with fear. Her reaction surprised me,
and I tilted my head to the side, curious as to how to interpret it. While I hadn't
expected Bella to react favorably to the mention of James' name, I hadn't anticipated
her appearing so unnerved by it either. I studied her carefully, trying to discern
between the astonishing array of panic-stricken emotions that were flitting across
her face when suddenly it dawned on me…

She knew. Bella knew about James. And from the way that she was pinning me

with her worrisome gaze, she knew that I'd figured her out.

How long have you known? I demanded to know, my entire body tensing with

stunned disbelief as I struggled to process this new information. I couldn't believe
Bella knew. I couldn't believe she knew that James was the one that had taken her
and she had never told me. I was left to wonder exactly how long she had known and
why the fuck she'd decided to keep me in the dark.

*Not for long,* she finally answered me. *Ten days, maybe.*

Ten days? Since before she had told me she needed space… Why didn't you tell

me!?

I tried to remain calm as I sat and waited for her to answer, I really did, but anger

and betrayal were sparking inside of me, causing me to rise from the couch and
pace the floor. I couldn't believe that Bella would keep something so important from
me. I felt hurt and confused, but most of all betrayed by her silence.

*I didn't tell you because I wasn't certain,* she finally replied, her expression

hardening for a moment as she watched me pace. It softened some as she tried to
explain. *It was just a feeling I had, based in part off of dreams I was having, and
there was no way to be certain. I was scared, Edward…*

- 369 -

She trailed off, momentarily closing her eyes. When she opened them again, she

appeared distraught. *I was scared of how you would react. God, you've been out of
your mind with worry this past month, and I was afraid that if I gave a face to the
person who assaulted me, you might do something we would all regret!*

I stood there, quietly shaking my head. You don't give me enough credit. I looked

Bella dead in the eyes, holding them firm with my own. I walked away from James
tonight, despite knowing what he'd done to you, because of you. You should have
told me. At least then, I would have known what we were dealing with.

*But would you have acted any differently?* she challenged.

What do you mean?

*Would you have stopped trying to control my every move?*

Would do you stop saying that!? I signed sharply in response, my face tightening

in anger as an unexpected burst of indignation flashed through me. I really hate the
way you keep throwing that word around. Is that really what you think? That I want
to control you? Because nothing could be further from the truth. Jesus, Bella… I love
you. I just want for you to be safe…

Bella's face cracked at my words, a long, frustrated sigh escaping her lips before

her eyes slowly fell closed. This conversation was obviously not turning out as either
one of us had intended, and I worried that if we didn't get back on track, I might be
spending another night without her. Bella stood there quietly for a moment,
breathing deeply in and out before finally opening her eyes. When she did, she
pinned me with a remorseful gaze.

*I'm sorry,* she signed, shaking her head slowly back and forth. *I don't want to

fight with you, Edward. I really don't,* she continued as her tired, pleading eyes met
mine.

*I know you love me, and I know you want me to be safe, but I can't pretend that

this past month hasn't been extremely hard on me, because it has. I have never felt
so out of control of my life before, and it isn't just a function of what happened. It's
how everybody, myself included, reacted to it. In the beginning it comforted me to
have you around all the time. It made me feel safe and secure. But somewhere along
the line our paths diverged, and we started coping differently. While I was trying my
hardest to regain some semblance of control over my life, you dealt with what
happened by undermining that control. I understand why you did it, Edward, I really
do, but when you started scheduling nearly every waking hour of my day, it just got

- 370 -

to be too much. I started feeling like I was trapped. Worse yet, I felt like you viewed
me as your responsibility… something you felt obligated to take care of. I had always
thought of us as equals before. You had always treated me like one. But now I'm not
so sure…*

Bella bowed her head, and guilt swept through me as the realization of how my

reaction to what had happened to her had affected her hit me head on. I hated that
she thought I no longer viewed us as equals because it just wasn't true. I had taken
on an increasingly protective role after James had taken her, but it had nothing to do
with any sense of obligation I did or didn't feel. Still, regardless of my intentions, I
couldn't discount the way I had made Bella feel. Taking a small step in her direction,
I reached out and took her hands in mine, rubbing the pads of my thumbs over the
soft ridges of her knuckles.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, my forehead falling against hers. "I never meant to make

you feel that way."

I reluctantly moved apart from her so that I could sign.

I know things have been difficult these last few weeks, and I'm sorry if the way I

dealt with it made you feel anything less than my equal partner, but I love you,
Bella, and for me, part of being in a loving relationship is taking responsibility for
each other's well-being.

Bella was quiet for a moment, her face contemplative, and then her hands rose

tentatively to fill the space between us.

*Do you really feel that way?*

That we're equals?

Bella nodded her head.

I just said that I did... I signed, a little confused.

Again, Bella stood quiet, and after a moment's time, it started to unnerve me.

Bella?

I questioned her with my gaze, pressing her to say something, and she took a deep

breath, sighing heavily before finally signing, *I saw the book, Edward.*

- 371 -

Her statement threw me completely for a loop.

The book? I repeated, thoroughly confused.

*The book on cochlear implants. It was sitting on your desk,* Bella clarified.

I blinked as I tried to determine what the book that I had checked out from the

library on implants weeks before had anything to do with our current conversation,
and for a moment I came up short, but as my wheels continued to turn, suddenly,
everything started to fall into place, and my eyes opened wide as I scrambled to
explain what that was about.

You've misunderstood, I signed, my heart breaking as I watched Bella reach up to

wipe away an errant tear sliding down her cheek.

*Have I?* she wondered. *Because it seems to me you've been researching

implants, and the only reason I can fathom you would want to know anything about
them is because your girlfriend is deaf and you'd like for her to hear. We'd be true
equals then, wouldn't we?* she questioned, looking at me out of eyes so broken and
so sad, I knew those caustic thoughts had been festering inside of her for weeks.
How had I not noticed before? More importantly, how could she ever think that she
was anything less than perfect in my eyes?

Standing there, I was left wondering what the issues between us really were. Up

until now, I'd thought our problems were isolated to differing reactions to a
traumatic event, but I was beginning to realize they might run much deeper than
that.

It's not like that, Bella, I signed with a shake of my head, hoping that in my eyes

she could see that I was being entirely honest. I checked that book out from the
library after the meet-up. Kate and I… we talked a little about implants, and I
realized that in all our time together, somehow, we'd never really discussed them. I
was curious, Bella. That's all, just curious. I'm not interested in changing you, and I
certainly don't view you as less of an equal simply because you're deaf. I love you,
just as you are. I should hope that by now you would know that.

Bella was motionless for a moment before sighing softly. *I do. I know you do.*

Then believe me when I say that there isn't anything that could ever change that.

But I won't deny being curious about implants. And I won't deny harboring hope that
you might one day be able to hear my voice. I thought… I thought that was
something you wanted too.

- 372 -

*It is,* Bella agreed, her face marked by a sadness I would never fully understand.

*But it will never happen,* she lamented, resignation rimming her tired eyes.

Why not? I gently pressed.

Bella didn't immediately respond, and when she did, it wasn't in answer to my

question.

*Why are you asking me this now?* she wondered. *Why didn't you ask me about

implants instead of referencing a book first? Do you have any idea how it made me
feel to see that book on your desk?*

When I didn't say anything in response, Bella continued.

*It made me feel like I was less than whole to you, Edward,* she told me, her eyes

having a hard time meeting mine.*And it made me feel…* She paused, wiping away
several tears that had collected in her eyes before continuing. *It made me feel like
you were making decisions about my life without consulting me. This past month,
you've been deciding so many things for me - where I can go, who I can go with…
and when I saw the book, it felt like you thought I wasn't capable of making
decisions for myself.*

Bella finished speaking, and silence hung heavy between us. Her hands fell slowly

to her side, but her eyes never left mine as we stood together, mere inches apart. I
wondered if she knew how much her words cut through me, how much it hurt that
she seemed to have so little understanding of how I truly saw her. She was taking
everything out of context, and it frustrated the hell out of me, but then again, I
couldn't say that I didn't understand where she was coming from. All of Bella's
insecurities and emotions were wrapped up in the events of the last month. Her
entire frame of reference for my actions revolved around what had happened and
how I'd reacted to it. And now, she saw this book as a sign of me trying to exert
additional influence over her life when nothing could have been further from the
truth. I hated that she felt that way, and I hung my head sadly, not even knowing
where to begin.

I wish you wouldn't assume the worst of me, I signed when I'd had time to gather

my thoughts. You assume that I think you're incapable of caring for yourself when
nothing could be further from the truth. You are the strongest, most amazing woman
I know, Bella, and that has nothing to do with the fact that I love you and everything
to do with the person that you are. But I do love you, and sometimes I feel like you
discount that. You've spent your entire life trying to prove how independent you are,
but now that the time has come for you to depend on someone else, I'm not sure you

- 373 -

know how. At least for me, relationships aren't about establishing independence
from each other. They're not about making decisions on our own. They're about
working together and sharing lives, and learning to trust that we have each other's
best interest at heart. Sometimes, I think you don't want that. If I'm being entirely
honest, sometimes I think it's you that's so desperate to keep control, not me.

A small gasp filled the space between Bella and me, and it seemed, in that

moment, like we were both holding our own breaths. Bella's slight form trembled
with the effort it took to control her emotions, but I could see that she was fighting a
losing battle. I'd struck a chord, and though I took no satisfaction in the emotional
toll my words might have taken, I hoped she was finally able to understand where I
was coming from – why I looked out for her and why I was so concerned with every
part of her life. I was hopelessly in love with her – that was why. No other
explanation was really needed.

Hating that Bella looked so lost, I reached out and tentatively brushed my fingers

down her arm, hoping to God she wasn't so upset with me that she would pull away.
She didn't, and when my fingers reached her hand, she threaded hers together with
mine, swallowing hard as her liquid brown eyes met mine.

*You're right,* she signed with her trembling right hand, her left still holding

firmly to mine. She squeezed my fingers gently before letting go. *I've spent so long
struggling to assert my independence and to prove to everyone that despite my
disability, I can take care of myself.* Bella's eyes spilled over with more tears as she
signed, and when I reached out to wipe them away, she smiled softly at me, turning
her head to lean into my touch.

*But then you came along, and turned my world on end.*

Bella laughed a little as she signed, the bright sound cutting through the room and

ringing in my ears like a choir of angels from on high. It had been too fucking long
since I'd heard her laugh and I couldn't help but laugh, too.

*I just need us to be true equals, Edward. Partners,* she continued. *Like we were

before all this craziness happened. I don't mind you looking out for me - in fact, I
love that you do. But I need to take back some control over my life. I think we both
do, and we've been trying, but in ways that haven't been helpful. We've been
fighting against each other, instead of for one another.*

We've both been stubborn, I agreed. But do you think we could try and meet in the

middle? I asked hopefully, my strong desire for Bella and me to reconcile written
clearly on my face. Because I can't be without you. You're everything to me, Bella,

- 374 -

everything. I realized that tonight when I was facing down James. I swear to God, I
wanted to kill him for what he did to you. But I knew… I knew that if I went after
him, I might lose you for good, and that thought terrified me. It terrified the fuck out
of me.

Bella's face fell at the mention of James' name, reminding me that despite

everything we had worked through tonight, we still had to deal with the fact that he
had given a face to Bella's attacker. I wasn't sure what we were going to do about
that, but it didn't really seem to matter as Bella looked me straight in the eye and
signed, *You'll never lose me, Green Eyes. You're everything to me, too.*

In that moment, any argument between us ceased to exist. We both stopped

fighting whatever it was we had been fighting against, and we surrendered
ourselves to each other once and for all, because really, we both knew there was no
other choice. Bella and I were in love with each other. We needed each other, and if
one thing was certain, we were stronger together than we were apart. We could
work through this… we would work this – together. It would require accommodation
on both our parts, but I felt certain we were both capable of doing whatever it took
to make things right between us. We had to – that was all there was to it.

"Come here," I murmured, unwilling to be separated from the woman I so

desperately loved any longer. "I need to feel you. It's been too long."

Bella didn't hesitate to bring her body flush against mine, and when she molded

herself against me, her mouth meeting mine in a deeply passionate kiss, I knew that
despite the fact we still had so much to work through, we wouldn't be working
through anything else tonight. Now, in that moment, we needed to be with each
other, to make love to each other and affirm with our bodies what our hearts already
knew - that our struggles might be many, but we would work them through. Because
I loved Bella, and she loved me, and it would be enough. It would be enough to help
each of us let go and give in. And when the breaking dawn shone through Bella's
bedroom window the following morning, I knew that it would bring with it greater
clarity, and that the warm body pressed against mine would be there to stay.

Everything else would be dealt with in time.

Endnotes:

So, long delay in posting. The following chapter (chapter 28) has eluded

me for nearly a year, so I didn't want to post 27 until 28 was further along.
It's nearly complete now, so with any luck, I'll post again next week. Thanks
for sticking with me.

- 375 -

Oh, and things should start looking up from here. ;)

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back.

- 376 -

Acceptance

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 28 - Acceptance

Five days and countless hours of studying later, I was on the brink of exhaustion.

It was Friday afternoon, and I was sitting on the bench outside the College of
Behavioral Sciences reviewing notes for my Intro. to Sign Language final. It was the
same bench Bella and I had occupied in the past when we were taking our first,
tentative steps towards getting to know one another. Now, nearly six months later,
this amazing woman was mine. She was everything to me - the center of my
universe, the force that grounded me, the only thing that truly mattered in my life. I
would never lose sight of that again.

- 377 -

Bella and I had spent the last few days continuing to talk our issues out, with most

of our conversations taking place late at night when we lay facing each other in bed.
It wasn't nearly as difficult for me to communicate with her this way anymore, and I
was grateful for that. I welcomed the intimacy it brought, the security I felt when
she was snuggled close to me. Lying beside her, our legs tangled together beneath
the sheets, I could reach out and caress her cheek, brush her hair from her face, or
steal a tender kiss. We needed that, the immediate ability to remind each other what
was most important, because some of our conversations were difficult.

Bella and I still had a lot to work through. She was convinced that a great deal of

my over-protectiveness stemmed from the idea that she was somehow less capable
of looking out for herself because she was deaf. This forced me to take a long, hard
look at how I truly felt, and I begrudgingly admitted she was partially correct. There
was a part of me that felt like she was fragile, and whether that was right or wrong,
I couldn't say. However, I mostly worried about her because I loved her, and that
was something that would never change. Hearing or deaf, I would always worry
about the ones I loved.

For her part, Bella admitted she had a tendency to be sensitive where this subject

was concerned. She had fought so long and so hard to establish her independence
that it caused her to panic slightly when someone wanted to take care of her. She
saw it as a sign of weakness on her part. She was also well aware of the fact that
many deaf/hearing relationships didn't survive because the hearing individual often
assumed the role of a caretaker versus that of an equal partner. She didn't want that
as our fate, but I assured her that could never happen; she was much too willful and
stubborn. That particular comment had earned me a slap on the chest, but she made
up for it by kissing me senseless moments later.

These were the types of discussions we'd had over the course of the last week. We

had also discussed how to handle James. After consulting with Officer Thompson, we
learned our options were limited. Without any hard evidence, the police had little
reason to bring James in for questioning. This really angered me, and on more than
one occasion I considered going after him myself, but Bella reminded me that
vigilantism wouldn't do anything to solve the problem. At best, James and I would
fight it out and the both of us would end up hurt. Worst case scenario, I could end
up in prison, and while I would gladly do whatever was necessary in order to protect
Bella, James no longer appeared to present a threat. It seemed he had accomplished
his objective by making Bella the victim of a vicious hate crime. This didn't mean
that we let our guard down, but at least we knew what we were dealing with now.
We knew whose face to look out for, and that helped both Bella and me to feel
somewhat more at ease.

- 378 -

We took additional steps aimed at increasing our sense of security. To begin with,

we enrolled in a series of personal safety classes run by the local sheriff's office that
would start in several weeks. We also registered for a personal defense class being
offered by the university over the summer. As a final measure, Bella relented and
agreed to let me install a security system in her apartment. I had offered to pay for
the monthly cost, something she could not easily afford; it was well worth the peace
of mind it would bring the both of us on the nights we spent apart. While none of
these things guaranteed that Bella would never be victimized again, they did allow
us both to feel like we were finally taking back some control over our lives.

"Edward?"

I jumped at the sound of Jessica's voice, so far lost in my thoughts that I hadn't

even noticed her approaching my bench. She came to a stop a few feet in front of
me, and I scowled up at her, displeased with the interruption.

"What do you want?" I asked through tightly drawn lips.

I was barely able to contain the anger that was currently gripping my gut. Deep

down, I didn't believe that Jessica had played a role in Bella's abduction, but the fact
that she was dating James made my stomach curl tight in disgust.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked. She was noticeably nervous, the slight tremor in

her voice giving her anxiety away. I wanted to tell her to "fuck off", but I took a deep
breath, doing my best to remain calm.

"I don't really think we have anything to discuss."

"I understand. I just…" She fidgeted nervously, seeming to have a hard time

finding the right words to say.

"Just spit it out," I snapped, and she jumped. She bowed her head, and even

though I shouldn't have, I felt a little guilty.

"I wanted to let you know that I didn't know about Bella…" she finally whispered.

I sighed.

"Jessica, this really isn't necessary…"

"No, please," she quietly interrupted. "Please just let me finish."

- 379 -

When I didn't object, she continued.

"James and I haven't been seeing each other for very long. We don't know each

other very well. I had no idea he even knew who you and Bella were. When I
defended him at the party… I did so without understanding the circumstances, and I
just… I wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what happened to her. I
didn't know. I really didn't know." Jessica's voice cracked at the end, and there was
a hint of desperation there, as if she was determined to make sure I didn't unfairly
judge her, blaming her for another's actions through guilt by association.

"He took her, you know. Even if there's no way of proving it, he took her as some

sort of sick way of getting back at me," I ground out, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.

This happened a lot. One moment I would be calmly discussing what happened

that night, and the very next, I would be taken back in time to when I saw Bella
sitting on the curb, broken and crying. I had been so fucking scared that night, more
scared than I'd ever been, and even though we were no longer living in that
moment, the feelings associated with it were not quick to fade.

"I believe you," Jessica whispered, eyeing me cautiously as I took a deep breath. I

was doing my best to hold myself together. "I didn't before, but I do now."

"Why?" I pressed, wondering if perhaps James had said something to her or she

had remembered something helpful about that night. I knew it was a long shot, but I
had to ask. "Did he say something to you? Do you know something that might help
us?" I asked, but Jessica shook her head.

"No, he didn't. It's just a feeling I have."

"So there's nothing out of the ordinary you remember about that night?"

Again, Jessica shook her head. "I'm sorry, Edward, but it was like any other night

we spent out. Yes, there's periods of time where I can't account for his presence, but
that's not unusual. He isn't exactly the most attentive of boyfriends."

While I didn't expect to hear any different, I was still disappointed that she didn't

have anything of greater significance to share with me.

"He's not a good person, Jessica," I finally said. "Bella and I might not be able to

prove anything, but there isn't a doubt in either one of our minds that he's the one
that took her."

- 380 -

"I said I believe you," she reiterated with more force before quietly adding, "I'm

going to break up with him. I'm going to tell him I'm not interested in seeing him
anymore."

This actually came as a surprise to me. I didn't consider Jessica to be all that

smart, but I was glad to hear she'd made the decision to leave James, because as
much as I disliked her, she didn't deserve to be caught up with the likes of him. I
only hoped she followed through with what she was saying.

"That's a smart decision," I said, and she acknowledged my reply by quietly

nodding her head.

Glancing down at my watch, I saw that it was after three. Our sign language final

would begin in twenty minutes, and I wanted to finish going over some notes
beforehand. I suggested that we start heading for class, but Jessica stopped me
before I could leave.

"Just one more thing," she said, pausing as I looked on at her expectantly.

"How come you never told me?" she finally asked.

I pursed my brows in confusion.

"About what?"

"About Bella," she clarified. "It's just… I never would have made the comments I

did if I had known you were dating her…"

Jessica's voice trailed off, leaving me standing there dumbfounded by her words.

Moments before, there had actually been a small part of me that was softening
towards her. As much as I disliked her type, I gave Jessica credit for recognizing
James for what he was and for making the decision to remove herself from a
potentially dangerous situation. But now, what little respect I had for her was gone.

"Are you serious?" I half-laughed even though her comment was anything but

humorous.

Jessica looked up at me, bewildered by my response. "I don't understand…"

Of course she didn't.

"Don't you see?" I pressed. "You never should have made those comments to being

- 381 -

with," I pointed out in exasperation. "God, Jessica. Whether or not I'm dating Bella is
completely irrelevant. The comments you made, they were totally out of line, no
matter what the circumstances."

When Jessica didn't respond, I shook my head in frustration.

"You do understand what I'm saying, don't you?" I pushed, but if Jessica was

repentant before, she wasn't any longer. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pressed
together as she surveyed me with contempt.

"I understand exactly what you're saying, but I don't see where you get off passing

judgment on me," she hissed in defense. "They were just comments, Edward,
harmless comments."

"But they're not!" I all but cried, incensed by her blind ignorance. "They're not just

harmless comments! They're hurtful, Jessica. Hurtful to Bella and to those that care
about her. For God's sake, she has feelings! How do you think it makes her feel
when people make flippant remarks about her disability? I can tell you now, even
though she tries her best to remain stoic and to rise above them, there are times
when they steal away her self-confidence and degrade her self-esteem, and that
really pisses me off. So no, Jessica, they are not just comments. Words cut deep.
You'd be wise not to forget that."

With that I brushed passed her, refusing her the opportunity to respond. I was

through with giving Jessica chances. I had already given her more leeway than she
deserved, including biting my tongue in reaction to her stinging comments early on
when I should have more vehemently jumped to Bella's defense, but I vowed never
to ignore derogatory comments like hers again, no matter what my relationship to
the person involved. Wrong was wrong, and if more people stood up and spoke out
against those who took satisfaction in ridiculing others, perhaps Bella, and any
others who had ever known any form of persecution, wouldn't have to contend with
it as frequently. That was my wish, anyway. It might have been overly idealistic, but
if one person took a stand, it could also inspire others to do the same.

Despite the fact my thoughts were understandably focused elsewhere, as I settled

into my seat in what would be my last Intro. to Sign Language class, I was able to
get my head back in the game, and it didn't take me long to complete my exam. I
was actually the first to finish, but the last to leave the room, waiting until all the
students had handed in their papers before approaching Bella at her desk. She
quirked a brow at me, smiling as she handed me back my exam.

*I suppose since you're already here, it wouldn't hurt to show you your grade,* she

- 382 -

smiled.

I had received an A. 100%. Of course, I hadn't expected anything less.

Well, would you look at that? And to think I didn't even have to sleep with the

teacher, I replied with a satisfied grin, tucking the paper into the side pocket of my
bag.

*Edward!* Bella quickly admonished, her eyes flashing towards the wide open

door before finding their way back to mine.

What? Oh… that's right! I DID sleep with the teacher, I continued to tease. I

couldn't help it. She was just so adorable when she was riled up.

Bella's eyes grew wide, and she reached across the table to playfully slap me, but

I was quicker than her and jumped lithely out of the way.

*Someone could have seen you!* she pointed out, struggling to appear stern,

though it was hardly believable given the smile that tugged at her lips.

So what if they do? I challenged, no longer teasing. I dare anyone to accuse me of

earning my grade through anything less than honorable means. Besides, as far as
I'm concerned, the semester is officially over. That means I'm free to tell the entire
fucking world that we're together, and I intend to do just that.

With that, I walked purposefully around the table, taking Bella by surprise when I

took her beautiful face between my two hands and kissed her thoroughly in the
middle of the classroom. My heart filled to capacity when she kissed me soundly
right back.

The following day, Bella was cleaning her apartment in preparation for my family's

arrival.

For the fourth time.

There were only so many pillows she could rearrange on her couch, only so many

times she could wipe down her kitchen counters and only so many times she could
straighten the spread on her bed before I feared I might slip into the realm of the
certifiably insane.

I wrapped my arms around Bella from behind, kissing her shoulder softly.

- 383 -

Leave the bed alone, I gently commanded, my arms moving in front of her. I

continued to kiss her silken skin, my lips lazily making their way along the thin line
of her clavicle, ending at the base of her throat. I tightened my grip around her,
smiling softly against her skin at her involuntary sigh.

Relax, I signed.

She turned in my arms.

*This is a big deal to me, Edward,* she admitted with a nervous smile. *This is

your entire family.*

One of which you've already met, I reminded her as I bent to capture her lips in a

kiss. She allowed me to deepen the kiss, but then the doorbell rang and her entire
body stiffened in my arms. I looked down into her wide, brown eyes, teeming with
uncertainty and fear, kissing each one of them before holding her gaze steady with
my own.

"It will be just fine," I murmured, taking her face between both of my hands.

*Okay,* she nodded, taking a deep breath. The doorbell rang again and I grabbed

her hand.

"Come on," I grinned.

No sooner had I opened the door than Alice was hugging me tightly, placing a kiss

on my left cheek before pushing past me to where Bella stood. The two girls were
smiling brightly at each other, laughing as they embraced, and I was so warmed by
the sight that I startled when my mother pulled me into a hug.

"Hi, honey," she cooed in my ear. "It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Mom," I said before finding myself wrapped up in my

father's arms. His embrace was brief but firm, and soon all eyes fell on Bella. My
mother looked nervous, as did my father I would have to admit, and I wondered
what was going on.

Mom, Dad, this is Bella, I signed, speaking at the same time for my parents'

benefit before turning in Bella's direction and repeating the introduction. Bella,
these are my parents, Esme and Carlisle.

My mother took a tentative step forward, and I noticed a glint in Alice's eyes just

- 384 -

as I watched my mother introduce herself to Bella in sign.

I was stunned, although maybe I shouldn't have been; Alice had made the effort to

learn, so why should it be so surprising that my parents had too? Whether or not
Bella had allowed herself to hope they might learn I didn't know, but from the look
on her face, she was entirely lost for words, as awed by the gesture as I was.

{Carlisle and I have been looking forward to meeting you,} my mother slowly

signed, and even though she struggled with it, all of us stood patiently by as she
shared her first words with Bella.

*Thank you. I'm... overwhelmed by the effort you've made to learn sign,* Bella

replied, with Alice jumping right in to translate for her before I even had the chance.

My father walked to my mother's side.

{We want to learn,} my father stressed to her. "It's the least we can do. Esme and

I don't have as much time to commit to it, but Alice puts us through boot camp each
night at dinner. We haven't spoken a word over dinner in several months," my father
stated, allowing Alice to translate for him, and I wasn't sure what impressed me
more - the fact that my parents were actually learning sign or that Alice's skills had
progressed to the point that she was actually translating conversations. She was
really throwing herself into this, which made me simultaneously proud and grateful
to call her my sister.

*Just the fact that you're learning at all is more than I could ever hope to expect.

Thank you. Thank you…*

Bella tried to remain composed, but I could see that her emotions were getting the

best of her. My mother noticed too and pulled her into a hug, holding her close. It
was hard for me to believe this was the same woman who had initially expressed
such concern over my relationship with a deaf woman, and I was relieved to see that
despite the difficulties Bella and I had encountered over the last month, everyone
still appeared to be entirely supportive of our relationship. This was meaningful to
me, and I was certain to Bella as well. She hugged my mother back, beaming at me
from over her shoulder.

The five of us went out to dinner, afterwards driving back to the hotel where my

parents would be staying for the duration of their visit. Alice had decided to stay
with Bella this trip, but my parents preferred the sanctuary of a hotel to the sparse
accommodations either Bella or I could provide. I sat with my father in the sitting
room adjacent to his and my mother's bedroom, drinking a beer while Alice and

- 385 -

Bella wandered downstairs to check out the amenities. It was a classy hotel, and
Alice had plans to set up a spa day with Bella on Saturday before I graduated later
that night.

"Bella's truly lovely," my mother commented as she passed into the sitting room

from the bedroom. "I know this past month's been extremely difficult for the both of
you, but your father and I are happy you were able to work things through. I'm sorry
we weren't able to be here to support you."

"It's okay," I replied. "It's definitely been a rough couple of weeks, but I think

we're through the worst of it."

My mother's face grew serious.

"So you're okay," she stated, looking pointedly in my eyes, "because your father

and I have been really worried."

"Yes, Mom, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Esme," my father gently chided.

"It's our responsibility to make certain, Carlisle," my mother answered back softly.

"It's all right. I understand," I reassured the both of them. "I know you've been

worried, but I promise you, both Bella and I are fine."

"I'm glad you decided not to go after that… that monster," my mother whispered,

and I could see the heartache on her face as she considered what could have been,
not only with me but with Bella too. I knew exactly how she felt. I considered what
could have happened that night every morning when I woke. Thankfully, it was
getting easier. With each passing day, I was learning to let go a little more.

"Believe me, it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make," I told her

in all honesty. "Everything in me wants to make him pay for what he's done. But we
can't prove anything, and I won't risk my future with Bella in a quest for vigilante
justice."

Both my father and mother nodded in agreement.

"You've made the right decision," my father stated with conviction. "I only wish

- 386 -

the authorities were able to offer more options."

"You and me both," I muttered. "But it doesn't look like that's going to happen, so

Bella and I are doing our best to move on with our lives."

"How is she?" my mother pressed. "She seems so… pulled together. I don't know

what I was expecting, but given all that's happened, she seems so composed. I'm
actually surprised by how well the both of you look," she admitted.

"Believe me, it hasn't been easy, but we're both in a better place now. In fact, if

one good thing has come out of this, it's that our relationship is stronger now than
ever before. When James took Bella…" I swallowed hard, his name still cutting me
hard every time I had cause to utter it. "When he took her, it forced us to take a long
hard look at our relationship, but we're in a better place now because of it. We're
not taking things for granted like we did before, and we're working harder to
communicate our feelings."

"That's one of the greatest challenges in a relationship, isn't it?" my mother

commented, casting my father a knowing glance before focusing her attention back
on me.

"It is," I agreed. "Particularly in our circumstance. Bella and I come from such

radically different backgrounds. Our life experiences are so dissimilar that I
sometimes forget how different we really are. But we love each other, so we're
learning to understand each other and work through those differences."

"You've grown so much this past year," my mother noted with a wistful sigh.

"I met the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with," I commented quietly. "I

finally understand what it feels like to have everything to lose. When that happens,
your priorities shift, and you begin to realize relationships take work… they take a
hell of a lot of work. But if you're willing to put in the effort…"

I trailed off, leveling my eyes at both my parents.

"I love her," I stated simply. "I love Bella, and one day I want to make her my

wife."

All the blessings I would ever need from them were given in their answering

smiles.

The next several days were a whirlwind of activity. Between trying to spend as

- 387 -

much time with my family and Bella as possible and simultaneously prepping for
graduation, I fell into bed with Bella at night, exhausted. Alice was staying with
Bella, sleeping on the couch, but she was good about giving us our privacy once we
sequestered ourselves behind closed doors. Not that we were doing anything sexual.
We were actually engaging in a far more intimate activity... continuing our heart to
hearts. I never thought I'd be the type for pillow talk, but I found that our late night
conversations, cocooned safely under cool, cotton sheets, were conducive to a
certain level of open communication not always favored by less intimate
environments. Apparently Bella felt the same, because we talked well into the night
Friday night before sleep finally claimed us.

Saturday afternoon I was getting dressed in slacks and a button down shirt,

readying myself for graduation when I heard my phone ring from the kitchen. I
asked Alice to answer it for me, assuming it was my parents calling, but a few
minutes later, she knocked lightly on the bedroom door before pushing it open, her
face alight with excitement.

"That was Kate," she said, which was entirely unexpected. "She was calling to see

if you and Bella would be attending the monthly deaf meet-up tomorrow night. I told
her I'd talk to you about it and you would call her back."

From the look on Alice's face, I could see this was something she wanted to do,

but I wasn't so sure about it.

"Alice," I sighed, right as Bella walked through the door. She had just finished

showering, her body wrapped up snug in a bath robe. The knowledge that she was
naked underneath caused me to stir in my pants, but I knew we didn't have time for
that right now.

*Everything okay?* she asked, noting the expression on my face.

Everything's fine. Kate called, inviting us to the meet-up tomorrow night. Alice

and I were...

{Just about to discuss the possibility of going}, she chimed in, a determined smile

on her face.

*She actually texted me earlier, but I figured with everything going on this

weekend, it wouldn't work out,* Bella replied.

{We don't have any plans for tomorrow night,} Alice reminded us both.

- 388 -

Bella smiled widely at Alice's enthusiasm.

*You really want to go?*

I was surprised that Bella seemed to be considering the idea. We'd attended

several more deaf events since the first meet-up, but it still wasn't her favorite way
for us to spend time together. She preferred a drive into Clearwater, sharing dinner
for two followed by a long walk on the beach.

{Of course!} Alice responded without hesitation. {I'd love to meet your friends.}

You think Mom and Dad would be up for it? I wondered,considering whether this

was a good idea or not.

{It would certainly give them a chance to practice,} Alice offered in reply.

I turned to Bella.

What do you think?

She shrugged.

*I say ask your parents. If they're game and you are too, I'll let Kate know we'll be

there.*

And so it was that less than twenty-four hours later, I found myself driving to a

deaf meet-up with my entire family in tow. Graduation had gone well the night
before. It was a proud moment for me, and for Bella and my family as well. When I
strolled across the stage with my diploma in hand, shaking the President of the
university's hand, I couldn't remember many other moments in my life when I felt as
hopeful as I did then. I literally felt like I had the entire world at my fingertips, and
the most amazing woman to share it with by my side. Bella cried when she held me
tight afterwards, tears of joy to be sure. I vowed to turn all of her tears to ones of joy
as we embarked on a future together. We dined out at a ritzy restaurant in Ybor
City, with Rosalie and Emmett joining us. It was a joyous affair, and everyone did
their best to communicate with each other in sign. Many laughs were had, and when
I caught a glimpse of Bella out of the corner of my eye late that night as we all sat
gathered around the table, I couldn't remember her ever looking happier.

That was last night. Now, I was slightly nervous as we walked through the door of

Starbucks. Although I was getting to the point where I felt somewhat comfortable
with a handful of the regular attendees to these events, tonight I would have to

- 389 -

juggle the added responsibility of playing host to my family. Some of my worries
were put to rest when several minutes after brief introductions were made, Alice
and my father immediately fell into conversation with a deaf doctor and his wife. I
could have guessed that Alice would effortlessly fit in with the deaf crowd - she was
never one to let another's reticence dampen her genuinely friendly and outgoing
nature, but I was pleasantly surprised, if not moved, by my father's identical
enthusiasm. Neither one of them seemed nervous at all, which helped me to feel
more relaxed. Scanning the room, I saw that Bella had taken my mother under her
wing, and the two of them were currently chatting up Kate and Garrett. I imagined
Kate would keep an eye on my mother tonight too, just as she had with me not so
long ago.

With the entirety of my family occupied, I found myself standing alone. There

were several of Bella's deaf friends that I now felt comfortable enough with to
engage in conversation, but the face of the man that approached me as I stood by an
empty table was not one of them. In fact, I didn't recognize him at all. He stopped in
front of me, introducing himself by the name of Peter before extending his right
hand.

{I've heard a lot about you,} he signed with a smile, and I couldn't help the look of

surprise that crept across my face. {My wife Charlotte and I haven't been able to
make the last few meet-ups, so we haven't had a chance to meet, but you've been a
hot topic of conversation amongst all our deaf friends.}

I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or amused by this bit of information.

Is that so?

Peter grinned.

{Indeed it is. You've made quite an impression, and when I saw that you brought

your family with you tonight, and that they're actually making an effort to learn sign,
I knew I had to introduce myself.}

Peter paused for a moment.

{You know that's highly unusual,} he stated, his face growing momentarily solemn

upon reflecting on something unknown to me. {Very few people go out of their way
to learn another language just to suit another.}

To be honest, it was kind of a surprise, I admitted. I knew my sister was learning,

but I had no idea my parents were learning too.

- 390 -

{That must be very meaningful to you,} Peter replied with a warm grin.

Yes, it is, I agreed. They know how important Bella is to me, and I suppose they

felt it would be the best way of demonstrating their support of me… of us, I added,
my face growing more serious.

{Has it been very difficult for the two of you?} Peter inquired, and for a moment, I

hesitated to answer. This was a personal question, and I didn't know this man. I
certainly didn't want to say anything he might deem offensive, but at the same time,
there was something about him that made me feel like I could trust him. He
appeared nothing less than genuinely interested in me, and I didn't for one moment
sense any amount of hostility or distrust.

It hasn't necessarily been easy, I slowly replied, looking Peter in the eye. Not

everybody is as accepting of our relationship as you seem to be.

A curt nod of Peter's head told me he understood exactly what I was saying. There

was no need for me to go into detail.

{Do you mind if I share a personal story with you?}

Of course, go right ahead.

Peter smiled at me, and again, I noted how warm it was. It touched the corners of

his eyes, where fine wrinkles hinted at his age but otherwise youthful features did
not. I couldn't help but smile at him in return. I was already making a mental note to
get his contact information before we left tonight. If his wife was as open and
friendly as Peter was, it might be nice for the four of us to get together some time
for dinner. Better yet, we could invite Kate and Garrett. Maybe even host a group
BBQ with Emmett and Rose and a few others. But I was getting ahead of myself.

I watched as Peter proceeded to tell me a story.

{I wasn't born deaf,} he began, a statement which definitely caught my attention.

{I actually lost my hearing when I was a young child. 6 years old to be exact. I
contracted meningitis and nearly died. I ended up surviving, but a high fever caused
me to lose hearing in both ears.}

I'm… I'm so sorry, I signed, saddened by Peter's words. He offered me a wistful

smile, as if there was a part of him that still held the memory of a time long ago
when he could hear.

- 391 -

{As you can imagine, it was very difficult for me, and unfortunately, my parents

didn't handle the situation very well. They were in denial for a long time.} Peter
paused and sighed. {To be honest, they're still in denial today,} he signed sadly.
{Because I was considered a 'normal' child for the first six years of my life, already
knowing how to talk, and to read and write on an elementary level, everybody just
assumed that I would adapt - that I would somehow find a way to read lips and keep
up with my peers, despite the fact I could no longer hear. They refused to let me
learn sign at first, forcing me to communicate through hand written notes.}

I gaped at Peter's words, unable to understand why his family would have made

such decisions, preventing their son from learning sign when it would have allowed
him to more effectively communicate with everyone. My face must have
communicated my unspoken questions, because Peter went on to explain that his
parents were worried that if they allowed their son to learn sign, it would be the
same as admitting to themselves and to everybody else that he was no longer
'normal'. They claimed to be afraid that he would be stigmatized, yet in truth, Peter
always knew their fear wasn't for him but for themselves. They didn't want to be
known as the parents of a deaf child. It didn't fit into their otherwise prototypical
family. So they attempted to strong-arm him into adapting to the hearing world.
They refused to learn sign – refused to let his siblings learn sign, though his sister
had learned in secret. Peter was understandably distraught by this, and as time
wore on, he acted out. Finally, when his behavior deteriorated to the point that his
parents could no longer control him, they sent him to FSDB. He'd remained there
for the duration of his school years and had had limited contact with his parents
ever since. That was over 20 years ago.

God, Peter… I shook my head. What did one even say to something like that? He

immediately dismissed my sympathy, his kind eyes telling me it wasn't necessary for
me to try and find words.

{It's okay, Edward. You needn't say anything. I only told you because…} He

paused, looking out at the crowd to where his eyes fell upon Bella and my mother,
standing in a corner with several other deaf women who were, to my surprise,
taking the time to sign slowly… very slowly… for my mother. A satisfied smile
settled on Peter's face.

{I wanted to share my story with you because your family is doing more for

Bella… the girlfriend of their son, than my own parents ever did for me. It's
bittersweet for me, but it also gives me hope that there are people out there who
understand that deaf people are no different from everyone else. It also tells me just
how much Bella and the deaf culture mean to you. And I'm not the only one that
feels that way. That's what I wanted you to know.}

- 392 -

There was a note of finality to Peter's words, and it was clear that he had shared

with me what he wanted to. To be honest, I was somewhat speechless. Somehow, his
story was so much more than the sad tale of a young boy who had seemingly been
forgotten by his parents. In his story was the hope for new relationships forged
between the hearing and the deaf… between Bella and myself and my family. I was
moved by his tacit approval of my relationship with Bella, and his suggestion that he
wasn't the only member of the deaf community that felt that way. Months ago I
might have wondered if I ever had a hope of fitting in to Bella's world, but tonight I
knew differently.

Thank you, I signed, clapping Peter on the shoulder with my hand. I appreciate

you taking the time to share your story with me.

{It was my pleasure,} he replied with a genuine smile. {Would you mind if I

offered you a bit of friendly advice?} There was a bit of a spark in Peter's eyes, and I
chuckled softly, nodding my head.

{Don't ever let that one go,} he said, tilting his head in Bella's direction. {She's a

keeper,} he winked.

{Who's a keeper?} an unassuming women with thick black hair draped loosely

over her shoulders asked as she sidled up to Peter's side. She smiled up at him, and
I could only assume this was Charlotte, the wife that Peter had spoken of.

{Edward, this is my lovely wife, Charlotte,} he said, confirming my thoughts.

Charlotte smiled at me.

{I met your father and sister tonight. I have to say, I'm quite impressed with

Alice's signing skills. She says she's only been learning since January.}

I chuckled softly.

Alice has a tendency to embrace her interests with an unusual level of enthusiasm.

It's very important to her to be able to communicate with Bella, I added, knowing
this was her primary purpose behind learning sign.

Charlotte's face softened.

{That's wonderful, Edward. You sister, father and mother…} She paused, looking

up at Peter's face. {I assume my husband's spoken with you about his family,} she
stated, momentarily changing the subject.

- 393 -

He has, I confirmed with a nod.

{So you see why it's so gratifying for him to see your family making such an

effort.}

I do. I really do.

Later that evening, we were all settled together in Bella's living room, the girls

drinking glasses of red wine while my father and I opted for beer. Everyone had
enjoyed themselves at the deaf gathering, including my mother who admittedly
struggled with sign language more than Alice or my father.

"I just don't seem to be able to make my fingers do what I want them to do," my

mother sighed in frustration as she ran through the alphabet for the tenth time in
the last half hour. Despite her determination to do otherwise, she continued to make
mistakes common to beginners. Specifically, she was mixing up several of the
letters, 'a' and 's' and 'd' and 'f', and she insisted on turning her wrist to the side
while signing 'c' and 'o'. Her frustration was apparent, so I went to sit by her side,
gently taking her hand in mine.

"Here, let me help you," I said, and I couldn't help but note the proud smile

radiating from Bella's face as she watched me teach my mother sign.

"Instead of signing the entire alphabet all at once, why don't we try breaking it

down into smaller pieces? Like when I was little and I used to get frustrated when I
couldn't lean my piano assignment for the week. You used to encourage me to break
the music down into a smaller number of measures, practicing only a few at a time.
Try to think of the alphabet as a sheet of music. By breaking it down into pieces, it'll
be easier to learn."

My mother looked on at me, impressed.

"Since when did you get to be so wise?" she teased.

"Turns out you were right about a few things," I winked in reply.

And she was. By practicing the alphabet a little at a time, she was executing it

nearly perfectly by the end of the evening, and by the time Bella and I bade farewell
to my family several days later, my mother had added several dozen words to her
vocabulary. She wasn't catching on as fast as my father or Alice, but she was making
the effort, and considering her initial hesitation six months earlier when I first told
her I was interested in a deaf woman, I considered that a big success.

- 394 -

So did Bella. My parents visit did something for us and for our relationship. There

was a subtle shift, and for the first time, I think we both considered that we really
could have an entirely fulfilling future together that included not just the two of us,
but our family and friends as well. Although I'd yet to meet her parents - that was in
the plans for later in the summer, I was hopeful they would be as accepting of me as
my family had been of Bella, and by the end of the year, I would be placing a ring on
her finger.

Life was good. Life was indeed, good.

I was now a graduate.

I would be entering med school in the fall.

But most importantly?

I had the love of my life by my side.

Endnotes:

Winding down here, folks. Next chapter the duo heads to Forks. It's

written and ready to post, probably by the end of next week.

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back.

- 395 -

Full Circle

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 29 – Full Circle

*You're fidgeting.*

Bella touched my knee, the same knee that had been vibrating with nerves ever

since our plane took off from our layover city of Dallas Fort Worth, en route to
Seattle, Washington.

"This is ridiculous," I muttered, gluing my foot to the ground with a huff. Out of

the corner of my eye, I caught Bella's lips pulling up into an amused grin.

- 396 -

*I can read lips, you know,* she teased. I shook my head, turning and smiling at

her despite myself.

*Why are you so nervous, Green Eyes?* she wondered. *My parents are going to

love you.*

I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers, distracting her with a kiss. I didn't have an

answer to Bella's question, despite knowing precisely where my anxiety stemmed
from. It had nothing to do with meeting her parents for the first time and everything
to do with the ring that lay nestled deep inside my pocket, in a tiny black box lined
with velvet. I had carried it with me onto the plane, concerned that if I checked it in
a piece of baggage, it would mysteriously disappear. Now, my only concern was
steering Bella away from my right side. I didn't want her accidentally brushing up
against me, wondering about the solid object hidden inside my pocket. It would be
just like her to ask.

Bella pulled back, reaching up to push her hand through my hair before signing,

*They're going to love you, just like I do. Quit worrying.*

"The shoe is on the other foot," I murmured, and she laughed softly.

*I survived. You will too.*

My anxiety dissipated a bit on our drive from Seattle to Forks. The new

surroundings coupled with fatigue from traveling all day long numbed my frazzled
nerves. My hand rested comfortably atop Bella's on the center console of the rental
car, and I gave it a small squeeze, capturing her attention. She turned to face me,
smiling softly as her right hand hovered by her heart.

*I love you,* she signed with a sigh, resting her head on the headrest and gazing

contentedly into my eyes. I smiled back at her, bringing our joined hands to my
mouth and kissing the soft skin between her knuckles before turning my attention
back to the road.

It seemed hard to believe it had been only a year since I'd met Bella, even more

impossible that I was only just now meeting her parents for the first time. We had
originally planned on visiting Forks over the summer, but the logistics of graduating,
volunteering at the hospital and apartment hunting left little time for a vacation.
Bella had flown home for several weeks in July, but I was unable to join her. Now,
we would be spending the days leading up to and including New Year's with her
parents, after having celebrated a quiet Christmas alone, together at home in our
apartment.

- 397 -

I shifted in my seat, all too aware of the ring. In truth, Bella's engagement ring

was the entire purpose of this trip - the timing of it, anyway. I had known for a while
that I wanted to make her my wife, and after everything we'd been through this past
year, I wanted to ring in the New Year with a proposal. I considered there was no
better place to do this than in Forks. It would allow Bella's parents, who hardly had
the chance to see her living so far away, the opportunity to be a part of a
momentous occasion in their daughter's life. It would also allow me the opportunity
to personally ask Bella's father for her hand in marriage. If anyone would have told
me a year before I would be doing something like this, I would have scoffed at them.
But things change… people change. Bella changed me. She made me want to give
her everything, because she deserved nothing less than the best. She deserved to
have her father asked for her hand in marriage, and I believed her parents deserved
the opportunity to celebrate our engagement, providing Bella said yes.

A smile touched my lips. She would say yes. I was certain of it.

Several hours later, when the final wisps of dusk gave way to a blackened sky, we

pulled into the driveway of Bella's childhood home. She eagerly unbuckled her
seatbelt, opening the door to the car before I had the chance to remove the keys
from the ignition.

"Bella!"

I was unprepared for the level of enthusiasm with which Renee greeted her

daughter. She flew out the front door, running down the concrete sidewalk towards
Bella's open arms, smiling widely as she pulled her into a tight hug.

"Oh, my baby girl, I've missed you so much," Renee exclaimed, holding Bella tight.

She didn't care that Bella couldn't hear her. Like many of mine, hers weren't words
spoken for Bella's benefit - they were merely an unscripted expression of how Renee
felt.

"Come here, come here, Edward," she half laughed, half cried, wiping a tear from

her face and gesturing at me to join them as I approached where they were
standing. She loosened an arm from around Bella's waist, pushing away another
errant tear before laughing and pulling me to her. I was a little shocked by her
geniality, given that we had never met, but I didn't protest as Renee included me in
their embrace.

"Renee, stop, you're going to scare the poor boy away." I heard a deep voice

chuckle from somewhere not too far away. I looked up from the tangle of arms to
see the spitting image of Bella standing lazily on the front porch, propped up by a

- 398 -

weather-beaten beam.

I cleared my throat.

"Hello, Sir," I waved. At that moment, Bella became aware of her father's

presence, and no sooner had she wiggled free from her mother's embrace than she
was running towards her father. He caught her mid-stride, beaming down at his
lookalike daughter with such fondness and affection it caused a small lump to form
in the back of my throat. Bella was treasured. Not only by me, but by two parents
who very clearly loved her beyond compare. I knew just how they felt.

*Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Edward,* Bella excitedly signed once she'd backed

out of her father's warm embrace. She motioned for me to come and stand by her
side, and I did so, bending down to kiss her forehead at the same time. Renee smiled
at the tender gesture, and Charlie extended me his hand, taking mine in a firm
shake.

{It's about time we get the chance to meet you. I was beginning to think we'd

receive an invitation to the wedding first}, Charlie chuckled. I gulped aloud,
noticeably flustered by his unexpected joke. Or was it a joke? Did he know
something? But how could he? Pushing back the sudden rush of panic that
threatened to consume me, I peeked down at Bella. Her face was flushed,
embarrassed by her father's words, and she was scolding him for his remark with
stern eyes. Renee laughed aloud at the spectacle before her.

{Stop it, Charlie,} she chastised with a smile. {Edward doesn't understand your

brand of humor. You'll scare the poor boy away before he ever sets foot in the
house.}

Not likely, I signed, relaxing when I noticed the mischievous twinkle in Charlie's

eye. Everyone laughed with me, following along behind Renee as she led us inside.

Walking through the door of Bella's childhood home, I was immediately distracted

by the countless pictures of her, spanning in age from birth to college graduation
that lined the hall leading into the living room. Pictures of a tired Renee with a
chubby infant nestled snugly atop her chest; pictures of an angelic baby making her
first sign – milk; pictures of a pig-tailed cherub screeching in delight as her father
tossed her high in the air and pictures of a dark-haired, brown-eyed beauty posing
for the camera at her high school graduation. An entire lifetime of pictures filled the
wall, and I found myself moving from one to the other, watching Bella's life unfold
before me like a chapter book. I stopped in front a picture of a gangly teenager,
complete with long legs and gleaming braces. Bella sighed beside me.

- 399 -

Braces, huh? I signed, and Bella just rolled her eyes.

*Everybody wears them,* she pointed out.

Not me, I replied with a wink. I was born perfect.

Bella slapped my arm, and we both laughed, stopping only when we noticed we

were being watched. Both Renee and Charlie smiled at us, exchanging a glance
between the two of them before beckoning us into the kitchen. The smell of freshly
baked lasagna filled the air, and my stomach growled, reminding me that we hadn't
eaten anything since grabbing a snack at SeaTac hours before.

{Hungry?} Renee asked, and both Bella and I nodded enthusiastically.

Dinner was a pleasant affair, with the four of us chatting amicably, getting to

know one another. I quickly found that both Charlie and Renee were friendly, easy
going people, and it was easy to see that Bella was the light of their lives. They were
so proud of her and her accomplishments; it was obvious she had been raised in a
loving, nurturing environment where her disability was never an issue. Charlie and
Renee had simply adapted to the situation, giving their daughter the tools she
needed to be successful in life. Their attitude had rubbed off on Bella, her positive
outlook no doubt molded by two loving parents.

After dinner, Bella made apologies, telling both Charlie and Renee that we were

tired. With a bit of trepidation, I climbed the stairs behind her, following her down a
short hall where we stopped in front of a door. I glanced around me, quickly
realizing this was a two bedroom house.

Where am I sleeping? I asked as she led me into her room. Bella sat down on her

bed, asking me to close the door behind me as she set to work unbuttoning her
jeans.

*In the bed, of course,* she signed with a funny look. I shifted uncomfortably from

foot to foot.

What about your parents?

*What about them?* Bella laughed. Her pants were off now, and I groaned, staring

at the tiny little bow adorning her blue, lace underwear. I loved the color blue on
her. She knew that. Why on earth did she choose to wear those today, of all days?

They don't mind me sleeping with you?

- 400 -

*Edward, we live together,* Bella reminded me, clearly amused by my sudden

discomfort. *Trust me when I say this isn't an issue. My parents won't even give this
a second thought.*

Your father's a cop, I pointed out. He carries a gun.

Bella laughed freely at my comment, and though I was only teasing, I was still

anxious about sleeping in bed with her. Her single bed, no less. We would be forced
to sleep close together, practically on top of each other, which wasn't necessarily a
bad thing if we were naked, which I wanted to be, badly…

Fuck! My mind was all over the place, jumping from one thought to another. Bella

noted my anxiety and rose from the bed, walking over to where I stood and placing
her hand on the side of my face. My skin warmed under her touch.

*You're a mess,* she grinned.

I really want to make a good impression, I sighed. I don't want to mess this up.

*Believe me when I tell you there is no way you could ever mess this up. You're

stuck with me, all right? It's just me and you, Green Eyes. It's just us.*

I closed my eyes, letting the truth of Bella's words sink in. She always knew just

what to say to bring me back around, to ground me when I let myself get too worked
up. I nodded, smiling down at her when I opened my eyes again.

*Let's go to bed,* she signed, and I willingly agreed.

I tried to sleep, I really did. I tried not to think of Bella's warm body pressed so

close to mine, how the curve of her bottom fit perfectly between my hips. I tried not
to touch her breasts as she slept peacefully in my arms. I tried not to kiss her neck,
at least not too much, but all of these things were nearly impossible. It was delicious
torture, sleeping together in her single sized bed, but eventually it got to be too
much for me. My mind was still racing, trying to work through the details of our
time together in Forks. When would I talk to Charlie? Where would I propose?
Admittedly, I hadn't given much thought to the logistics of the proposal. I only knew
I wanted to propose on New Year's Eve, so that Bella's parents could celebrate our
engagement with us. I thought maybe I would take Bella out to dinner somewhere,
and we could return home to ring in the New Year with her parents. I only had a few
days to structure my plan, though, which meant I could waste no time in talking to
Charlie. If only I wasn't so nervous…

- 401 -

Realizing that sleep was a hopeless cause, I gingerly slipped from bed, taking care

not to wake Bella in the process. I slipped on my jeans and t-shirt before peering out
into the darkened hall, passing quietly by Renee and Charlie's bedroom door on my
way downstairs. I paused at the foot of the stairs, surprised to see Renee snuggled
up in a blanket on the couch, an open bottle of beer in one hand and a book in the
other. I glanced at my watch, shocked to see it was past 3 a.m. I was in the middle of
deciding whether or not I should go back to bed when Renee took note of my
presence.

"Edward?" she asked, turning her head and squinting her eyes in an effort to

make out my shadowed form. I stepped forward so that she could see me better.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I didn't think anyone would be up," I

stammered.

"Couldn't sleep?"

I shook my head no.

"Grab a beer from the fridge. Come join me on the couch." Renee smiled at me,

and I hesitated only a moment before doing as she asked.

Sitting down at the other end of the couch, I couldn't help but snicker when I

glanced at the title of Renee's book.

"Twilight? Isn't that…"

"Yes, it is," she interrupted me with mock defensiveness. "Don't judge me. It's a

beautiful love story. I think we can all appreciate that, can't we?" Renee's eyes held
my own, and I thoughtfully considered her statement, smiling as I agreed.

"Yes, I suppose we can."

"Charlie teases me for staying up so late, reading romance stories. But I like to

remember what it's like to be young and in love. "

"It's amazing," I absently murmured, not even realizing I'd spoken the words out

loud until Renee's glowing grin caught my attention.

"Sorry," I apologized, at once embarrassed by my slipup.

"Don't ever apologize for loving my daughter, Edward." Renee's kind and knowing

- 402 -

eyes held mine, and I nodded, unable to hide my smile as I took a pull of my beer.

"So tell me, how have you and Bella settled into living together," Renee casually

asked, pulling the blanket more tightly around her and resting her feet atop the
ottoman situated in front of the couch. "I've talked with Bella about it at length, but I
wonder how everything's going for you."

I looked on at Renee, seeing nothing but genuine interest on her part, and it

warmed me to know that even though she'd only just met me, she already appeared
to care about me. It had been the same when my parents met Bella, as if an invisible
thread connected them the moment she became important in my life. It felt the same
with Renee and Charlie.

"It's amazing," I answered her honestly. "Things are going really well."

Renee grinned, bringing the bottle of beer to her mouth.

"Not too many difficulties adapting to a deaf household?"

"No," I chuckled softly, shaking my head. "It's not so different, really. I actually

appreciate the quiet. It's very conducive to studying."

Renee considered my reply with an approving smile, eyeing me thoughtfully.

"You know, I always wondered what type of man Bella would end up with."

"You mean hearing or deaf?"

Renee nodded.

"Did you have a preference?" I wondered, only half teasing. I really was curious

whether or not my relationship with Bella was unexpected on her parents' part.

"I've given it more thought than you might think," she replied, her expression

serious. "I've worried compulsively about Bella since the day she was born. I fought
hard to give her as normal a life as possible. That's all I've ever wanted for her you
know, the ability to live life like everyone else, regardless of the fact that she's deaf."

I was quiet for a moment, turning Renee's words over in my head before I turned

to her, leveling her gaze with my own.

"Do you believe that I can give that to her?"

- 403 -

"Do you?"

"I've never had any doubt," I answered with confidence.

Renee smiled.

"Then you have your answer."

"I'm sorry?"

Renee reached over and squeezed my arm. "It doesn't matter to me whether

you're hearing or deaf, Edward. All that matters to me is that you give Bella a
normal, happy life."

"I fully intend on doing so," I assured her, quietly adding, "she's the most precious

thing in the world to me."

"I know, Edward. It shows."

The following morning, I was roused from my sleep by the smell of bacon wafting

up the stairs. I turned on my stomach, glancing at the clock on the bedside table.
10:00 a.m. I'd slept in, having crawled into bed a little after four in the morning,
after chatting with Renee for over an hour. It had been a good discussion, a time for
the two of us to get to know each other a little better, even if it was somewhat
unconventional to do so in the middle of the night while drinking beer together on
the couch. When I went downstairs, I found her and Bella working side by side in the
kitchen.

"Good morning," I greeted Renee as I walked up behind Bella and slipped my arms

around her waist. I hugged her close to me, wanting to pull her hair away from her
shoulder and kiss down the side of her neck, but I opted for discretion instead,
merely kissing the top of her head. Bella turned in my arms, standing on tip-toe to
gently kiss my lips.

*Mom tells me you stayed up late last night reading romance novels with her,*

Bella signed, winking at me in delight. I laughed out loud, smiling and shaking my
head.

Actually, we stayed up late discussing your awkward teenage years. Any chance

you want to tell me about Tyler Crowley? I teased right back. Bella gawked at her
mother, feigning annoyance with her before turning her attention back to me.

- 404 -

*He was my first boyfriend. He was a terrific kisser,* she deadpanned.

"Is that so?" I said, narrowing my eyes.

"I'll take that as my cue to leave," Renee laughed, slipping out of the kitchen just

as I pulled Bella back into my arms, giving her a proper good morning kiss. My lips
moved against hers, hungry for something far beyond what was appropriate in that
moment. It would be a long five days not being able to make love to her, especially
on New Year's Eve, the planned evening of my proposal, but I would make up for it
when we returned home.

Bella's father cleared his throat, causing me to jump back and Bella to smile.

{Good morning,} he signed to us both, clearly amused by my reaction.

*Good morning,* Bella signed in response, grabbing my shirt and pulling me back

by her side. I straightened my back, vowing not to be so jumpy, and greeted Charlie
in kind. Renee walked into the kitchen then, and the four of us went about setting
the table for breakfast, signing easily amongst ourselves as we did. Although Bella
and I had intended for me to meet her parents before now, it occurred to me as we
all fluidly communicated with each other in sign that it was better for us to have
waited. It was meaningful to me that I could demonstrate my commitment to Bella
by communicating with everyone in her language. I wanted to show her parents that
I openly embraced her world and the entirety of who she was, and that I would
continue to do that as her husband, if she would have me.

{What are you plans for today?} Charlie asked as he slid his fork under the pile of

scrambled eggs sitting in the center of his plate.

*The weather's supposed to be nice for once, so I thought I'd take Edward to the

park. Maybe do a little hiking.*

I'd like that.

{Speaking of plans,} Renee interjected. {What are your thoughts on New Year's

Eve?}

I fidgeted in my seat, my eyes lifting upwards to Bella, who cocked her head to the

side, studying me curiously. She sensed my discomfort, and if I wasn't careful, she
would begin to suspect something. I cleared my throat, finishing my bite of food
before putting my fork down.

- 405 -

Actually, I was kind of hoping to take Bella out to dinner.

All eyes were at once upon me, and I suddenly realized how incredibly rude it was

of me to exclude her parents from the invitation. I hadn't thought things through
carefully enough, hoping it would be all right for us to catch up with them later in
the evening without consulting any of them about my plans. Clearly, this was a
grave oversight on my part.

*You're welcome to come along, of course,* Bella hastily added, looking quickly

between me and her parents.

"Of course!" I croaked, even though it really wasn't, but I panicked, not wanting to

make a complete and total ass of myself by insisting I take Bella out alone. I watched
in embarrassment as Renee and Charlie exchanged a glance.

{Actually,} Renee slowly began. {Your father has a police function he'd like to

attend at work on New Year's Eve, but we should be home early. Why don't I buy a
bottle of champagne, and we can celebrate the New Year together when you get
home from dinner,} Renee suggested. Charlie winked at her and nodded his head,
and I was beginning to wonder if they didn't suspect what I was up to. My suspicions
only deepened when Charlie cleared his throat.

{Speaking of nice weather,} he began, glancing between both Bella and me. {It's

supposed to be sunny with a high of 42 tomorrow, which is practically unheard of for
this time of year. I was wondering if you wanted to go fishing,} Charlie asked,
turning so he was specifically facing me. {Renee and Bella could head into Port
Angeles and do some shopping together, give us a little time to get to know each
other.}

I gulped, suddenly nervous at the prospect of having the conversation with Bella's

father, but this was just the opportunity I had been looking for. Granted, I hadn't
intended on asking him for Bella's hand in marriage while fishing, but I wasn't one
to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I found myself nodding in response.

That would be great.

{Good, it's settled then,} Charlie replied with a grin.

When breakfast was over, Charlie and Renee disappeared into the living room to

read the morning paper, leaving Bella and I alone to clean up. We worked together
quietly, neither one of us saying anything to each other, but afterwards, Bella pulled
me to the side, fixing me with an anxious gaze.

- 406 -

*Is everything okay?* she signed, worry creasing her brows.

Everything's fine, I assured her. Why do you ask?

*Why do I ask? Edward, you've been acting strange ever since we got here. You're

nervous… jumpy. You hardly slept last night. You think I didn't notice, but I did. I
don't understand what's going on. Are you uncomfortable?*

What? No! Of course not. I told you, I'm just nervous about making a good

impression.

Bella's gaze softened.

*They love you, Green Eyes, I promise. My father invited you fishing. He's never

invited any of my boyfriends to go fishing.*

Really? I exclaimed, more excited by that than I cared to admit.

*Really,* she signed. She angled her face upwards, kissing my lips softly and

gently scratching the hair at the nape of my neck before pulling away.

*Relax, sweetheart. There is nothing to be nervous about. They love you. I love

you. Okay?*

I sighed.

Okay.

The sun hadn't yet risen in the sky when Charlie rapped on Bella's door the

following morning. I stifled a yawn, bleary eyed and tired from another restless
night. Ironically, Bella had slept like a baby in my arms, never moving from the
position she fell asleep in. To keep my mind from racing, I'd watched her. Despite
being anxious about proposing, I was never surer about anything in my life than I
was about my sweet Bella. I loved her with all of my heart, and I wanted nothing
more than to make her my wife. It was hard for me to believe that if everything went
according to plan, in less than two days time she would no longer be my girlfriend
but my fiancé instead. I reasoned that's what had me so on edge. I just wanted it to
be official. That and I wanted to get passed the talk with dear old dad.

"Edward? You awake?"

"Up and at em' Sir," I replied.

- 407 -

Charlie chuckled from behind the door.

"Enough with that Sir stuff," he chided. "It's Charlie. Nothing more, nothing less."

"All right, Charlie. I'll be down in a minute."

"Sounds good. I'm going to load the gear into the car and we'll be on our way. I

figure we can run through a drive thru on the way out, pick up a couple of Egg
McMuffins if that's all right with you. It's better if we get an early start."

"That's fine with me," I answered, pushing off of the bed and blindly searching for

my jeans on the floor. I could have turned the light on, but I didn't want to wake
Bella. Luckily, she didn't move an inch when I tripped over the leg of the rocking
chair and went hurtling to the bedroom floor. One of the benefits of being deaf; you
weren't dragged from blissful sleep by the sound of your clumsy boyfriend cursing in
pain.

"Motherfucker," I hissed, grabbing my foot.

"Everything all right in there?"

Renee's voice caused my head to snap up.

"Ah… yes," I mumbled, embarrassed by my outburst. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to

wake you up. I tripped…"

"I heard. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine," I said, locating my jeans and sitting in the offending chair to pull them

on. I grabbed a thermal shirt and a sweatshirt from my duffel, pulling both over my
head before grabbing my toiletry bag and slipping out into the hall. Thankfully,
Renee was nowhere to be seen. I felt ridiculous for waking her up. The day wasn't
starting off as I had originally intended, but I took a deep breath, telling myself
there was nothing to be nervous about. Charlie and Renee had been nothing but
warm and welcoming to me since my arrival, and I was pretty sure that Charlie had
orchestrated this fishing trip to allow us the opportunity to talk shop. I wasn't sure
how they knew what my intentions were, but I was all but certain they did. This took
some - but not all of the pressure off.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I walked back into the bedroom

where Bella still lay fast asleep. I bent at the knees, smiling as I brushed her hair
from her face. Her sleepy eyes opened, and I pinned her arm by her side, shaking

- 408 -

my head.

*Don't say anything. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I'll see you

tonight.* I bent and kissed her forehead, and Bella smiled up at me, her eyelids once
again falling closed as I rose to my feet. With a single, backward glance in her
direction, sighing at the sight of her peaceful, resting form, I shut the door behind
me and descended the stairs. Renee greeted me at the bottom.

"Bagels and cream cheese for breakfast, and sandwiches with fruit and chips for

lunch," she said, pushing a small, handheld cooler into my hands. "Charlie insists I
shouldn't bother, but I prefer for him to stay away from fast food," she said with a
wink. "It's not good for him."

"But it sure does taste good," he said, sneaking up on Renee from behind. I

watched in delight as he wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, hugging her
close and kissing her cheek. "Thanks, hon. That was nice of you."

I wanted to be like them one day. Twenty years from now, I wanted to look at

Bella just like Charlie was looking at Renee right now.

"Ready?" I asked, suddenly eager to get on the road. I was ready to ask for Bella's

hand in marriage.

It was several hours later that Charlie and I decided to take a break from fishing,

settling back in our chairs and munching on some apples that Renee had packed for
us.

"Fishing's good today," I commented in passing, even though I had no idea if the

seven fish we'd caught thus far could be considered a fair catch or not. I really knew
very little about fishing and was only trying to make light conversation. Charlie had
been surprisingly quiet ever since we arrived, and it was beginning to unnerve me.

"It's not so bad," he agreed with a small nod, but his mind seemed elsewhere. He

took another bite of his apple, the sound of his teeth gnashing through the skin of
the fruit sounding even louder given the surrounding silence of nature. He chewed
his food, slowly reaching for his thermos of coffee and taking several deep drinks
before turning to face me.

"So tell me, Edward - how did you happen to fall in love with my daughter?" he

casually asked, catching me completely off guard. I'd expected him to ask me
something about fishing, or football, or some other safely masculine subject; I wasn't
expecting him to ask about Bella.

- 409 -

I cleared my throat, looking him straight in the eye as I answered him honestly.

"Would you believe me if I told you it was love at first sight?"

Charlie grinned.

"I would. Bella's a beautiful girl."

"That she is," I agreed.

"So that was it?" he pressed, taking another bite of the red fruit. "You fell in love

with her beauty?" He seemed amused by this, thinking he had me all figured out,
and I suppose in a way he did, but not in the manner in which he was thinking.

"I guess you could say that," I quietly agreed. "When I saw the person she was

inside, I couldn't look away."

Charlie paused, his eyes holding mine in a pensive gaze before a smile pulled at

his lips.

"Good answer, Son."

I chuckled softly, realizing that now was as good a time as any to broach the

subject of marriage.

"Sir… Charlie," I said, correcting myself.

He glanced in my direction, silently giving me permission to proceed. I took a

deep breath before continuing.

"Well, you see… this isn't exactly how I envisioned doing this, while fishing in the

forest, then again, I'm not sure I ever imagined I would be doing anything like this,
in fact, I can state with certainty it never crossed my mind, but that all changed
when I met Bella, because she's important to me… more than important to me, of
course, and I want to do right by her, always…" I stammered like an absolute fool.

Jesus, what was my problem? I stopped talking for a moment, trying to get my

head about me. Why was this so hard?

Charlie chuckled softly beside me, clearly amused by my discomfort. Thankfully,

he'd made enough assumptions based on my incredibly inarticulate speech that he
was able to step in and take over for me.

- 410 -

"Edward, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you have a question for me."

"Yes, Sir… Charlie," I nervously nodded.

Charlie's face grew serious.

"I see the way you look at my daughter, Son. It's clear you cherish her just as

much as her mother and I, and I want you to know that I'm willing to entertain your
request, but first, I want to ask you something."

"All right," I said slowly, uncertain as to what his question might be, but pleased

he hadn't immediately denied me his blessing. Not that it would change my mind if
he did; I intended to propose to Bella, regardless. But it would be nice to do so with
her parents' blessing.

Charlie settled back in his chair.

"Has Bella ever told you anything about her childhood?" he asked, again catching

me off guard with the unexpected change of subject. I thought we were discussing
marriage…

"Ah… yes. We've discussed it…"

"Then you probably already know that things haven't always been easy for her.

Her mother and I worked hard to give her as normal a life as possible, but there are
always unexpected challenges when you're dealing with a disability."

"I'm learning that every day," I murmured softly.

"Bella handled them all with remarkable dignity and grace," he continued, a proud

smile touching his lips.

"She's amazing," I agreed. "Every moment of every day we spend together, she

amazes me."

"She amazes us too, Edward, always has, always will."

Charlie chuckled softly to himself, momentarily lost in thought before turning to

face me.

"You know, Bella thinks the reason Renee and I never had more children is

because we were burdened with the difficulty of caring for her," he said, a certain

- 411 -

sadness touching his eyes. I nodded, because I remembered her telling me this in
the past.

"But nothing could be further from the truth," he continued, his voice taking on a

fervent tone. "We never had more children because we couldn't imagine loving
anyone else as much as we love Bella." Charlie's voice cracked, and my eyes
widened as I saw his own were wet with unshed tears. He laughed a little,
embarrassed by his display of emotion, turning from me to wipe his eyes before
staring across the stream to the trees on the other side of the bank.

"You're probably wondering why I'm telling you all of this," he said, shaking his

head at himself. I wasn't sure how to answer that question, but thankfully, I didn't
have to. He continued speaking before I had the chance.

"If the two of you are married, there's the possibility you could have a child that's

born deaf," he said, turning to face me with a serious expression. I swallowed hard,
my eyes never leaving his as I slowly nodded my head, acknowledging his words. "I
need your word," he continued, his voice still thick with emotion. "I need your word
that if that happens, you will love that child just as fiercely as Renee and I love
Bella… as you so obviously love her too."

I didn't even think twice about my answer, nodding my head in agreement. How

could I not love a child that Bella and I created together? It didn't matter whether
that child was born deaf or not. We would love him or her regardless.

"You have my word, Charlie."

"Thank you," he murmured gratefully, his face visibly relaxing in response to a

great weight that seemed to have been lifted from atop his shoulders. He heaved a
deep sigh before grinning in my direction. "Now, is there something you wanted to
ask me?"

"Yes, Sir, there is," I replied, all traces of nervousness gone. "I would like to ask

for your daughter's hand in marriage."

Charlie couldn't hide the satisfied smile that spread across his face.

"Well, Edward, provided that Bella says yes, which I have an inkling she will,

Renee and I would be honored to call you our son."

Endnotes:

- 412 -

One more to go, then two epilogues to follow sometime in the future!

Thanks so much for all your support!

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on Twitter - misgatoslocos! I'll follow you back.

- 413 -

Perfect

Author's Notes:

CONVERSATION KEY

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be

used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep
that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased

in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased

in {brackets}.

Many thanks to azure0610 for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to aerobee82 and

JenEsme for pre-reading for me.

The awesome Nayarit and FluffyLiz created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

Chapter 30 - Perfect

I wasn't nervous as I waited for Bella to finish getting dressed for our dinner date

upstairs. Never mind that her engagement ring, tucked safely away in my pants
pocket, was a constant reminder of the entire purpose of this evening. Never mind
that Charlie sat with his legs comfortably stretched out on the couch, a can of
Rainier in his hand, smirking at me out of the corner of his eye. Never mind that
Renee was hidden in the kitchen, humming along softly to the tune of "Going to the
Chapel"…

Okay – so, maybe I was a little nervous.

- 414 -

I peeked around the wall separating the kitchen from the living room, clearing my

throat to make my presence known. Renee stopped humming and looked up,
offering me a mischievous and far too knowing smile.

"Interesting choice of songs," I commented.

"It's one of my favorites," she replied with a wink.

Even though I'd said nothing of my specific plans to propose to Bella tonight, I

was all but certain that Charlie and Renee had figured things out. Humming aside,
Renee had saved me from my glaring faux pas at breakfast several days ago. I was
thankful to her for announcing that she and Charlie had plans to attend a police
function tonight, although I was beginning to suspect that might have been a lie.
Neither one of them was dressed for a formal affair, nor did they look in any hurry to
leave the house. I didn't ask, and I sure as hell hoped that Bella didn't notice.

"You two ready to go?" Renee asked, thankfully changing the subject.

"Bella's just finishing up upstairs."

"You're heading into Port Angeles, right?"

"Yes. Bella speaks highly of the Italian restaurant there."

Renee smiled.

"It's quaint. She loves the mushroom ravioli they serve. Did you manage to make

reservations?"

I nodded my head.

"I was lucky. They were booked, but they had a cancellation this morning and they

were able to fit us in. We should be back before midnight, so we can watch the ball
go down together and drink that champagne."

Renee smiled warmly at me, reaching out to gently squeeze my arm.

"We're looking forward to it, but don't rush your dinner," she said. "The

champagne will be chilled and waiting, regardless of the time you get in."

I nodded in response, just as the sound of Bella's shoes on the landing alerted me

to her presence. Renee turned away from me then, and began humming along to the

- 415 -

tune of "Going to the Chapel" again, causing my face to flush red when Bella strolled
into the kitchen. One look at me, and she immediately grew alarmed.

*Edward? Are you okay?*

Without giving me a chance to respond, her hand flew to my forehead, her palm

gently cupping the skin there, feeling for any sign of a fever.

"I'm fine," I assured her, reaching up to tug her hand away. In the background, I

could hear Renee laughing softly. Of course, Bella couldn't hear her humming, or
laughing for that matter, but it didn't keep me from feeling out of sorts. Thankfully,
Renee took pity on me. She turned and waved her hand in Bella's direction, catching
her attention.

{Edward's fine, dear,} she signed. {I sent him into the basement to retrieve some

of the homemade chutney Lauren Mallory's mother sent over this past summer. You
know how dusty it is downstairs. It caused him to cough a little, that's all.}

Bella seemed appeased by her mother's explanation, and I breathed a sigh of

relief, eager to get on our way before Renee decided to have any more fun at my
expense. She winked at me one last time as I guided Bella out of the kitchen, and I
couldn't help but smile and shake my head at her in return.

Bella's parents watched us as we carefully navigated the walkway to the car.

Where the weather yesterday had been temperate, overnight a cold front had
pushed through, bringing with it blustery weather and several inches of snow. Bella
and I had both dressed accordingly, with Bella sporting a new pair of UGGs her
mother had purchased for her while shopping in Port Angeles the other day. I'd gone
casual with jeans and a long sleeved button down shirt that Bella said accented my
eyes. Neither one of us were ones to dress up under any circumstance, so it seemed
fitting I would propose to Bella in a place where we could simply be ourselves.

Sliding into the front seat of the car, I glanced in her direction.

*Are you okay with driving?* she wondered. *The weather's pretty bad…*

She looked genuinely concerned, and for a moment I worried that she might try

and call off our dinner. That simply wouldn't do, so I smiled at her reassuringly.

It'll be fine. It's no different from driving in Chicago, really.

This was true. I really wasn't concerned about driving into town, despite the

- 416 -

inclement weather; Chicago winters could rival Forks any day. Besides, Renee had
offered to let us drive her car, a 4WD Grand Cherokee with tires more appropriate
for winter driving than the standard tires in place on our rental, so we were better
off than we would have been otherwise.

*Are you sure?* she pressed, still looking uncertain. Her eyes flitted from my face

to her window, where she watched the snow falling in spades around us. Reaching
out, I squeezed her thigh, causing her to focus her attention back on me.

I'm positive. Don't worry, I signed, smiling at her while tapping the tip of her nose

with my index finger. She swatted it away.

*All right then, drive,* she playfully teased, motioning to the steering wheel, and

with a smile and an acknowledging wave in her parents' direction, Bella and I pulled
out of the driveway on our way to Port Angeles.

We were both quiet for the first ten minutes or so of our journey, each of us

gratefully soaking up the warm heat that flowed through the vents and into the car.
It was unfortunate that the vehicle didn't have seat warmers. That was a luxury I'd
grown accustomed to in Chicago that Renee's older model truck was regrettably
lacking. When my fingers finally warmed to the point where I could feel them again,
I reached out, taking Bella's hand in mine. She looked over at me and sighed, a
beautiful, contented smile pulling her rose colored lips upward. She was simply
kissable right then, but I wouldn't chance taking my eyes off of the road, not even to
sign. It wasn't safe in the current weather.

We had just turned onto a dark, and on this night, seemingly deserted side road

that would eventually connect us to the main highway leading into Port Angeles,
when I heard a funny sound emanating from outside. Bella reacted to the vibrations
she felt passing through the base of the car moments before I realized there was
something wrong. She reached out and gripped my thigh in concern, while a quick
glance at the dashboard told me we'd lost air pressure in one of the tires. I
immediately put my hazards on, pumping the brakes softly and slowly pulling over to
the side of the road before putting the car in park.

I think we might have a flat tire, I signed with a frustrated sigh, turning to face

Bella before delivering the regrettable news. I couldn't believe this was happening.
Of all nights, why did something like this have to happen tonight, the evening of my
intended proposal? Bella nodded her head, and I tried not to think about what this
might mean for our plans.

*Have you ever changed one before?* she asked, worry creeping across her face.

- 417 -

I've assisted once or twice, I replied. Admittedly, I wasn't very handy with cars,

but changing a tire wasn't all that difficult. However, on this night in particular it
could be a messy affair, not to mention bitterly cold, given the current state of the
weather outside.

I'm going to get out and see what we're dealing with. Hopefully your mother has a

spare. Why don't you call your father and let him know what's happened. Maybe he
could drive out to help me change the tire.

Bella nodded and started searching in her purse for her phone while I braced

myself to face the penetrating cold.

"Fuck," I muttered as I opened the car door. My teeth instantly started to chatter

as cold air blasted across my face, causing me to suck in a sharp breath. Though it
wasn't likely, it seemed as if the temperature had dropped twenty degrees between
here and Bella's house. Slamming the door shut behind me, I was at least gratified
to know that Bella was cocooned safely within the warmth of the car. I'd left it
running for now; no sense in her having to suffer the cold until I could determine
what exactly needed to be done. However if it was indeed a flat tire, I'd have no
choice but to turn off the ignition before changing it out. Turning to my right, my
suspicion was immediately confirmed. The front left tire was completely flat, likely
the result of having driven over a nail, or some other sharp object. Whatever the
case, it definitely needed to be fixed. I strode to the tire's side, bending at the knee
to examine the rim for any damage before returning to the driver's side door,
opening it and settling back inside the car.

The front left tire is flat, I signed, filling Bella in on the specifics with a resigned

sigh. This did not bode well for the rest of our evening. Did you get a hold of your
father?

She shook her head, grimacing.

*I think I might have left my phone on the bathroom counter. I was texting with

your sister before we left,* she guiltily replied, worrying her lower lip.

This definitely was not good news. I pulled my own phone from my back pocket, in

the hopes that maybe I was wrong, but as I suspected, I had absolutely no cell
service. Fucking AT&T.

"Shit," I sighed, resting my forehead against the steering wheel and gritting my

teeth. "Shit, shit, shit."

- 418 -

*What's wrong?* Bella signed from beside me. She reached out, running her hand

through my hair and scratching my scalp softly, which under normal circumstances
would have worked wonders at settling me down, but not tonight - not when all hope
for proposing to the love of my life was quickly funneling down the drain.

I took a deep breath before answering.

No cell service.

Her eyes widened for a moment, her hand stilling in my hair before she retracted

it and asked if I could change the tire on my own. At that point in time, I didn't think
I had much of a choice, unless of course we wanted to wait around for a stranger to
pass us by. The problem was who knew when that might happen? We were on a
small, isolated back road, and we hadn't seen another vehicle for over fifteen
minutes. This led me to believe that our odds of encountering one anytime soon
were slim at best.

I can change the tire, I assured Bella, doing my best to exude confidence when

really I was starting to have doubts about my ability to do so, given the bitingly cold
weather.

*I can try to help,* she offered with a weak smile. *Maybe hold a wrench or

something? Like a surgeon's assistant…*

Her comment caused me to chuckle, and I reached over, taking her hands in mine

and kissing them.

No, I shook my head. Stay in here where it's warmer.I'll have to turn off the car,

but I'll try to be quick, and hopefully we can be on our way before you get too
chilled.

*But what about you?* she asked, obviously concerned about my well-being

outdoors. *It's so cold out there…*

Just think of it as extra incentive to be quick, I replied with a wink and a

half-hearted smile. It was forced, and Bella and I both knew it, but there was no
sense in stewing over circumstances that were out of our control.

*Okay,* she reluctantly agreed. She leaned across the seat to kiss my cheek, and

with the sweet memory of her lips on my skin, I clicked off the ignition and opened
my door.

- 419 -

I tried to stay positive as I stepped back out into the unwelcoming night air by

focusing on the lingering sensation of her kiss, but as I surveyed my surroundings,
my eyes landing on the offending tire, my dreams of proposing to Bella were all but
swept away, drifting on the invisible tail of the wind that sailed right by me, taking a
little piece of my heart with it. I shook my head in acceptance of probable defeat,
because even if I did manage to change the tire on my own, my clothes would likely
be soaked through from the snow, and we would have to return home to change. At
that point, it would be too late to go out to dinner, which meant my proposal would
have to come at a later time - perhaps Tampa, on Valentine's Day? With a resigned
sigh, I sullenly trudged to the back of the car, pulling open the hatch and extricating
the rusty old jack and other tools I would need to change the tire with before setting
to work.

A half hour later, I had proven myself a liar and a failure. I could not, in fact,

change a tire on a car. At least not this car, in what felt like subzero temperatures
under a dark, moonless sky. I had tried my best – persevered until Bella had dragged
me kicking and screaming back inside the car. She was horrified when she took note
of my fingers, ice-cold to the touch despite the fact they'd been sheathed in thick
gloves. Those same thick gloves had made removing the nuts from the tire
cumbersome, but I wouldn't have been able to remove them with my bare hands. It
was much too cold outside for that.

"What are we going to do?" I asked as Bella turned the key in the ignition, causing

a welcome blast of heat to burst through the vents. She reached out and took my
hands gently between hers, plucking off my gloves and blowing warm air over the
frigid fingers, causing my body to sag in relief. It felt so damn good.

She sat quietly for a minute, continuing to warm my hands before she finally

replied.

*Forks High is about a quarter mile away. It's the closest building around. If we're

lucky, there's a door open somewhere and we can get to a phone.*

And if we're not lucky? Because let's face it… tonight hadn't exactly gone

according to plan.

Bella shrugged, seemingly unconcerned.

*This is Forks, not New York City. There will be a door open somewhere.*

I wasn't so sure, but our options were admittedly limited, and sitting in the car,

waiting for the gas to run out while we waited for a car to happen by didn't exactly

- 420 -

appeal to either one of us, so we locked up behind ourselves and headed on our way,
with our jackets zipped up tight and our hoods pulled over our heads to shield us
against the cold on our journey.

Both of us kept our gloved hands shoved deep inside our pockets as Bella led the

way through the woods. Thankfully, we'd found a flashlight stashed in the back of
the glove compartment in the truck, which now lay tucked beneath Bella's right arm.
It wasn't much, but it provided enough light so that we could see where we were
going. Both of us walked with purpose towards our destination, however I did my
best to usher Bella forward at a quicker pace when I registered wolves howling
somewhere off in the distance. I tried not to panic at the sound of their soulful cries,
instead focusing hard on the single stream of light leading the way through the thick
gathering of trees, but I had to admit the sound was disconcerting. I'd seen enough
documentaries to know that a pack of wolves wasn't to be messed with. I debated
telling Bella about them, but ultimately decided against it. Though my omission
might not have been fair, I didn't see any sense in alarming her. From the sound of
it, they were miles away. Still, I was glad when I saw the outline of a building appear
through a clearing in the woods not too far away. Luck hadn't exactly been on our
side tonight, and the sight of Forks High was definitely a welcome relief.

Do you know where you're going? I asked as I moved up by Bella's side. She

glanced in my direction, little more than her eyes visible from inside her drawn
hood, and shook her head no, which didn't exactly inspire confidence. I pulled my
phone from my back pocket, praying that we might have reception here, but again, I
failed to find a signal.

Bella and I walked briskly to the front entrance, both of us reaching out to test the

door at the same time. It was locked, but Bella didn't seem bothered by that. She
didn't let it deter her from moving swiftly around the building, pulling forcefully on
every set of doors. We were nearing the end of available doors to try when one
finally gave way. Bella's eyes flashed to mine, and I grinned in delight as she pulled
the rusted metal structure open. I immediately felt along the wall, flicking the switch
on and illuminating the space, only to find that we were standing in the middle of a
band room.

What were the chances? My eyes bounced from the tubas to the drums to the old

baby grand piano tucked away in a corner before landing back on Bella.

Look around for a thermostat, I instructed her, knowing as well as she did that we

needed to take immediate measures to warm ourselves up. The room would provide
us shelter from the outdoors, but it was still intolerably cold. Bella nodded, clicking
the flashlight off and setting it down on a nearby desk before circumnavigating the

- 421 -

room. It took the better part of five minutes, but we finally located the tiny box,
hidden behind an old bookshelf packed full of dusty old sheet music. Both of us
sighed when I clicked on the heat, wisps of warm air pushing through a vent in the
ceiling located directly above us. I pulled Bella into my arms and she smiled up at
me, both of us basking in the welcome warmth.

Even though we needed to find a phone, I took a moment to hold Bella close,

kissing her temple and resting my wind chapped cheek against the top of her head.
Despite the unwelcome turn of events tonight, it was hard to feel anything but
contented holding her in my arms. Even if I wasn't able to slip a ring on her finger,
we would still ring in the New Year together. Whether that would be in the Forks
High School band room or the more desirable location of her living room remained
to be seen, but regardless, I wouldn't let this unanticipated detour prevent me from
making the best of our situation.

After a few minutes, Bella pulled out of my arms and began further exploring our

surroundings, poking around in the hopes of finding a phone. I joined her, but even
as she cleared away stacks of paper from a desk located at the front of the room, my
eyes kept shifting back to the piano I'd spotted earlier. It was definitely a relic of
times gone by – its many nicks and scratches a testament to its service, and I
couldn't help but wonder if despite all that, it might actually still be playable.
Crossing the room in curiosity, I pulled out the bench and lifted the fallboard,
revealing a row of chipped and cracked keys. I cringed at the sight, but was
pleasantly surprised when pressing a single finger to middle C rewarded me with a
perfectly in tune note. Encouraged, I played several more, and when two turned into
four turned into an octave, I couldn't help but smile. My mind was quickly spinning.

Perhaps all wasn't lost after all.

Curious as to what I was doing, Bella made her way over to the piano.

Hop up, I told her, reaching out to pat the top of the piano. It had been several

weeks since Bella had been in a practice room with me, and I missed watching her
while I played. I would never tire of watching her reactions to my music. They were
different every time, yet one thing always remained the same – her eyes were always
filled with deep admiration and wonder as she watched me, and truthfully, if I only
ever played for an audience of one for the remainder of my days, I wouldn't be
disappointed. I would much rather share my love of music with this girl who lived in
a world of silence than with anyone who perchance had the ability to hear.

*Don't you think we ought to continue looking for a phone?* Bella asked, raising a

brow at my suggestion, but I shook my head.

- 422 -

No. That can wait. Hop up. I want to play something for you.

Bella eyed me skeptically, but when I rose from the bench and placed my hands on

her hips, pressing a single soft kiss to her lips, she didn't resist when I lifted her
upwards. Instead, she settled herself in a cross-legged position in the front of the
piano, in a place where she could reach out and touch me if she pleased, and her
eyes tracked me as I took my seat back in front of her, watching me closely as I
stretched out my fingers, readying them to play.

*What are you going to play me?*she asked when I lifted my eyes to hers.

For a moment, I wasn't quite sure, but sitting there on the piano bench, regarding

the woman I loved with rapt adoration, my decision was all but made for me.

Bella was as beautiful as ever - her windswept hair hanging loosely at her

shoulders, tiny dampened strands made wet by snow clinging gently to her neck; her
porcelain hued skin, made bright by cheeks flushed with warmth; the elegant curve
of her faintly parted lips and the endless depth of her gorgeous brown eyes…
everything about her called to me. She was perfect.

Simply perfect.

Do you know Michelle Featherstone? I asked, knowing there was a good chance

she didn't but refusing to make assumptions. You never knew with Bella. She was
actually well aware of many musical artists, as well as knowledgeable about the
lyrics to their songs; she didn't need to listen to the notes to be inspired by music.
Unfortunately, she shook her head no, but I wouldn't let that deter me.

Watch my lips carefully, okay? I murmured, and she nodded, lowering her eyes so

that they were focused on the movement of my mouth. And with that, I let my hands
drift across the keys of the piano, playing the opening notes of a song that was the
very definition of the girl who sat before me.

Perfect.

I see you across a crowded room…

And I'm paralyzed…

- 423 -

I'm paralyzed…

Because you're perfect…

Bella's breath hitched in the back of her throat, her hand traveling to her lips

where they muffled a tiny sigh, and I knew… I knew that she'd understood every
word that I sung to her. This was just another reason why I was continually amazed
by her, and to think that everyone had once wondered how I would even
communicate with her. Little did they know, we weren't bound by the limitations of
spoken language. In many ways, we'd created a language of our very own.

I continued to sing to her, serenading her with words to a song that were the

embodiment of what she was to me, words that spilled from my lips in a reverent
homage to the woman I knew was nothing short of perfect.

Throughout the remainder of the song, Bella's beautiful brown eyes remained

locked with mine, never once daring to part from my face, and the depth of the
emotion reflected back at me told me she understood exactly what she meant to me.
She knew that in my eyes, she had always been and would forever be… perfect. And
when my fingers drew back from the keys, the final note echoing in the silence that
hovered between us, I knew that it was time, and it mattered not that our car had
broken down on the way to dinner in Port Angeles. It mattered not that we'd
trudged through the dark and cold, only to wind up in the Forks High School band
room. It mattered not that currently, we had no plan for how we would get ourselves
back home. All that mattered… all that really mattered was that Bella and I were
together. We loved each other and we were together; the rest were just insignificant
details. So, with trembling hand, I gingerly removed her ring from my pocket, and
with gentle care and utmost reverence, I reached for her hand, pulling the ring from
its velvet incasing and slipping it onto her finger. It fit perfectly, the solitary
diamond a testament to my love for her.

Bella's eyes spilled over with tears when she realized what I was doing- fat happy

tears that made my heart swim with joy as my hands began to move.

Bella… beautiful Bella. I still remember the day I first signed that word to you. I

was so nervous. But you were… and still remain… the most beautiful woman I've
ever seen, I remembered with a wistful smile. Bella smiled softly at me in return,
reaching up to dab at her eyes.

I'm not sure I could ever find the proper words to convey the depth of my feelings

for you, I continued. But if there was ever a word to describe what you are to me,
perfect would be it. From the moment I first met you, I've felt alive in a way I never

- 424 -

dreamed possible. You are the embodiment of all my hopes, my wishes, my dreams,
and you are the only person I will ever want to grow old with. Our relationship
hasn't been without its difficulties, but through it all, we've stood by each other,
supporting each other, encouraging each other and caring for each other in a way
that only two people that are deeply in love ever could. It is for these reasons that I
sit before you now, requesting you do me the utmost honor of becoming my wife.
Bella Swan, will you marry me?

Without missing a beat, Bella scrambled down from the top of the piano, settling

herself squarely on top of my lap, straddling my thighs with her legs. Reaching out,
she tenderly cupped my face between her two hands. The emotion swimming in her
eyes was overwhelming, and when she touched her forehead to mine, bending
forward to lightly brush her lips against mine, I thought I might die in anticipation of
her answer.

And then there it was… floating in the space between us, a deceivingly simple

word whose worth could never truly be measured.

"Yes."

Her lips touched mine one more time, and she murmured the sacred word against

them again.

"Yes, Edward..." She pulled back, bringing her hands from my face to in front of

her. *I will marry you.*

Bella and I didn't much worry about where we were or how we would get home

after she accepted my proposal. All we really seemed to care about was the fact that
from this point forward, we had the rest of our lives to look forward to together, and
nothing could have taken away from the happiness and exhilaration we both felt in
that moment because of that. For everything that had gone wrong tonight, the most
important thing had gone right… I was to be a husband, and Bella was to be my
wife. So it was that when Charlie eventually found us several hours later, after a
passerby happened to recognize Renee's car parked on the side of the road and
placed a frantic call to Charlie, that he found Bella and I holed up in the high school
band room, laughing hysterically at each other as we attempted to play the myriad
of instruments scattered about the room. At least I could hear to know how awful I
sounded when attempting to play the trombone. Bella was entirely oblivious, and I
thought she might just shatter glass when she blew forcefully into the piccolo.

We drove home in the back of Charlie's police cruiser, and as soon as he spotted

the ring on Bella's finger and realized that I had in fact made an honest woman out

- 425 -

of his baby girl, he flipped the switch on the lights stationed on the roof of the car,
escorting us home in grand police style. He added the siren when we pulled onto
Bella's street, and even though she couldn't hear to know he'd done so, she watched
closely as I covered my ears, shielding them from the loud sound, and figured things
out on her own. She hid her head against my shoulder in embarrassment.

"Charlie… er… it's really not necessary…"

But he cut me off, rolling down his window and waving politely at the neighbors as

they peered into the dark from the safety of their front porches, wondering what on
earth was going on. Charlie simply acknowledged them with a friendly nod, refusing
to share the good news with anyone else until we'd shared it with Renee.

We didn't have to wait long. Like everyone else on the small street in the tiny little

town of Forks, Renee was glancing worriedly out the front door as we pulled into the
driveway. Charlie turned the siren off, but left the lights going as Renee hurried to
the car.

"Oh, thank God, you found them! Is everything all right?" she wondered, and I felt

bad that Charlie hadn't called her the moment he had found us to let her know we
were fine. Then again, if he was using AT&T, it would have been pointless.

"They're fine, they're fine," he assured her as she pulled open the door to the back

seat. Bella peered up at her, and Renee sighed in relief just as her eyes caught sight
of Bella's hand. Her own hand moved to her mouth, capturing a quick intake of
breath before a brilliant smile lit up her face.

"Oh, oh…" she began to speak, tears of joy welling in her eyes as her hands

started moving frantically about in front of her.

{Come out of the car! Oh my God, come out of the car, the both of you, so I can

hug you both tight!}

We did as she requested, the three of us standing together in an awkward

embrace before Charlie reminded Renee that Bella and I must be starving, and it
was cold… so bitterly cold outside. We filed indoors then, soon after partaking in
leftover fried chicken that Charlie and Renee had made for dinner, which also
happened to confirm my suspicion that there never was a police affair for them to
attend. An hour later, the four of us rang in the New Year together, finishing not
one, but two bottles of champagne between us.

We had a lot to celebrate.

- 426 -

Later, much later when the house was still and quiet, I crept downstairs, guided

only by the light of the full moon shining softly through the living room bay window.
Bella was fast asleep upstairs, but I was too wired to sleep. So instead, I wandered
over to the well worn bench seat, tucked snugly beneath the window, and gazed out
at the gently falling snow, taking the time to contemplate just how much my life had
changed over the past year. It was incredible, really. In the span of twelve months,
the most beautiful, amazing and inspiring woman I'd ever had the privilege of
knowing had fallen straight into my lap, and now, on this, the first day of the New
Year, we were embarking on the first day of the rest of our lives together.

I smiled to myself, letting the reality of that thought sink in while reveling in the

quiet of the night that surrounded me like a warm winter blanket. There was a time
when that silence might have bothered me, made me ruminate over the fact that
while many of my friends and family had found that special person to spend their
lives with, I was still alone. Thankfully, that was not the case anymore. Now, the
sound of silence was the most significant and precious sound there was to me. It
reminded me, most importantly, of the woman I loved, and would continue to love
for the remainder of our days.

Yeah… I was a sentimental fool. And with an enormous sentimental smile, I

padded back up the stairs and slipped back into bed with my love, pulling her close
to me and whispering my endless devotion to her before drifting back to sleep,
swaddled by the comforting sound of silence.

Endnotes:

I guess I'm not so creative, but I love ending my stories with a proposal.

Looking forward, I will be posting two epilogues sometime in the future, but
I can't say exactly when. They are not written, but I know what I want to
write, so that's half the battle, right?

There are other projects on the horizon, so if you feel so inclined, place

me on author alert. I do hope to continue with The Preacher's Son one day,
but I'm still not sure that will be up to bat next.

Thanks so much for your support. It's been fun, and I've so enjoyed getting

to know some of you better (those that followed me here from Chance
Encounter), while also getting to know many of you for the first time. It's
always a privilege.

Peace.

- 427 -

Twitter - misgatoslocos

- 428 -

Document Outline

Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
Summary
1. Life as I know It
2. Setting the Record Straight
3. Life as She Knows It
4. Always on My Mind
5. Bizarre Love Triangle
6. Clocks
7. Coming Clean
8. Rules of Engagement
9. Impasse
10. Surprise
11. Defining the Indefinable
12. Instigation
13. Changes
14. Terms and Conditions
15. Forward Moving Motion
16. The Sound of Silence
17. Baptism by Fire
18. Beneath the Surface
19. Unexpected
20. The Ties that Bind
21. Declarations
22. Immersion
23. Red Sky at Morning
24. Rising Storm
25. In the Eye of the Hurricane
26. Approaching Shore
27. The Calm after the Storm
28. Acceptance
29. Full Circle
30. Perfect

Wyszukiwarka

Podobne podstrony:
The Sound Of Silence (Unspoken Heart) Wood, N(1)
THE SOUND OF SILENCE
Howard, Robert E Kull The Skull of Silence
James E Perone The Sound of Stevie Wonder, His Words and Music (2006)
Simon And Gartfunkel Sound Of Silence
Sound of Silence
Ankh The Sound of Ancient Egypt
The Moment of Silence poradnik do gry
The Sound of His Horn Sarban
521 Simon and Gartfunkel Sound of Silence
237 The Sound of Music
6 3 YPC The Sound of an Orchestra
Simon & Garfunkel Sound of silence
Bradbury, Ray The Sound of Thunder()
The sound of music Edelweiss
The Authenticity of Song Performance in Early American Sound Cinema
The Distant Sound of Engines Algis Budrys
Hudelet Incarnating Jane Austen The Role of Sound
Farina, A Pyramid Tracing vs Ray Tracing for the simulation of sound propagation in large rooms

więcej podobnych podstron

Besotted The Sound of Silence

Document Outline