Chapter 1 – Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
BPOV
Alice had that look of resolve on her face and her hands firmly placed on her hips. Obviously
she was not on board with my latest fund-raising scheme.
“No fucking way, Bella!” she practically shouted.
I cringed. It had taken me a few days to gather the courage to tell my roommate and closest
friend about my desperate plan to pay my looming second semester college tuition – not to
mention room and board expenses. I had eliminated all other options and if I wanted to stay
enrolled in Seattle University, or any college for that matter, I had no other choice.
But Alice would not relent, “Put your virginity up for auction? Sold to the highest bidder like
some prize broodmare or something! That’s just…so wrong!”
In the face of her harsh assault on my last ditch effort, I tried to appear confident, but I could
feel the sting of tears forming in my eyes.
Alice’s apparent fury melted as she read my emotions as usual and pulled me into a tight
hug. “We’ll find another way to keep you here, Bella. Don’t cry.”
Feeling a surge of determination, I pulled away to defend my decision. “Come on Alice, you
and every girl I’ve spoken to have said the first time sucks. So I may as well kill two birds
with one stone: get the awkward, messy, and most likely painful event over with and make
some tax-free money to pay for school,” I said in the most matter-of-fact tone I could
muster.
Alice looked skeptical.
“What?” I shrugged.
“You will always remember your first time, Bella. Don’t you want it to be special?”
My throat tightened and my resolve waivered just a bit. Of course I wanted it to be special.
Didn’t every girl fantasize about the fairytale first time – a romantic interlude with the one
true love of her life? But seriously, how often did that happen in reality? I had to be
practical! In just three weeks my tuition was due and sadly my virginity was the only thing of
value I had to offer.
But I only had myself to blame for the dire situation I was in.
Charlie and I had scrimped and saved to build up a sizable college fund. Charlie was even
willing to supplement my unmet expenses by dipping into his retirement fund. Knowing his
meager public service pension would barely support his needs as it was, I decided to take
matters into my own hands. I invested my whole college fund with an investment company I
found online – without Charlie’s knowledge. Three months later, the company’s site was
gone and so was my money – along with my future.
The thought of telling Charlie about my major fuck-up was almost as frightening as the
thought of being trapped in Forks for the rest of my life. Forks was a dying logging town, a
parasite sucking the life out of the forest that sustained it – doomed to extinction. I would
not go back – even if it took sacrificing my virginity to the highest anonymous bidder to
prevent it.
I needed Alice to understand I could better handle looking myself in the mirror having
whored myself out before I would be ‘that girl’ who couldn’t make it in the big wide world,
returning home with her tail tucked between her legs. Besides, my first time was bound to
be at very best non-earth shattering and at worst painful and embarrassing no matter whom
it was with. I might as well secure my future; in doing so I would at least have something to
offer the world someday by virtue of a first class education.
In effort to end the conversation, I stated resolutely, “I’m doing it Alice. There’s nothing you
can say that will change my mind. There just isn’t enough time for any other solution.”
EPOV
Cornish School of the Arts was by no means a hotbed of social activity. Most students were
of the introverted-type, focused on their dream of making it in the performing arts. As an
artist, this ‘dream’ was precisely the dangling carrot that kept so many striving toward its
illusive promise for more. No one wanted to admit only a fraction of us would actually make
a living doing what we studied so hard for all these years. In reality, the odds were better
stacked that the majority of Cornish’s graduates would end up, if lucky, music or drama
teachers struggling to keep their programs funded -- or at worst, in retail sales.
As I worked on my latest composition in our small dorm room, Emmett surfed the web. My
brother by adoption and roommate, Emmett, managed to squeak out a partial drama
scholarship, but his highest aspiration was to star in commercials for Red Bull or some other
product that featured very curvy women in their ads. At least he was somewhat realistic in
his goals.
“Dude! Check it out!! I found that blog site with girls willing to sell their virginity to the
highest bidder! We should sign you up; at least she can’t turn you down – guaranteed
pussy!” he crowed sticking his hand out for a fist bump.
Exasperated, I completely ignored his extended hand, “Emmett! I am NOT going to bid on
some girl’s virginity! I know it galls you that I’m not a man-whore you can live vicariously
through, but tough shit, man!”
Before he moved on to some other crazy-ass thing on the information highway to hell, he
added in a persuasive tone, “Too bad really. She’s kinda cute.”
I have to admit, curiosity got the best of me, Emmett was just too familiar with how to push
my buttons, and I glanced at the screen. What I saw all but stopped my heart beating in my
chest. It was a Glamour Shot, and probably not terribly recognizable to the casual observer,
but I'd know the curve of that cheek anywhere. It was the face I couldn’t forget…it was
Bella!
She hadn’t changed since I last saw her at our graduation from Forks High School. Her skin
was still perfect, her hair a luxurious brown with soulful eyes to match. Eyes so deep, even
on a computer monitor, they pulled me into reverie and transported me back to the last
time I really looked into them – it was the first and last time I tried to win her heart....
Since my junior year, when she moved to Forks, I had carried a torch for her. Admiring her
from afar, painstakingly learning her likes and dislikes, I planned the day I would ask her out.
But the days became weeks, and the weeks became months. Admiration quietly morphed
into love. I built a whole life around her in my mind, and my hesitation to ask her out
transformed into a paralyzing fear. The reality of rejection threatened to destroy the
happily-ever-after I had pathetically created in my imagination.
But when senior year arrived, I couldn’t push aside the fact time was running out. I would be
left with nothing but ‘what ifs’ after graduation if I didn’t summon the will to act soon. Bella
had applied to several universities and made it clear to her friends she would not be
returning to this ‘po-dunk’ town.
Mustering all the courage I had, I chose to express my feelings in the written word. I
thoughtfully selected Sonnet 116 by our favorite writer, Shakespeare.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
Bella, love is a constant guide to us as we move through life, but we can't really see its true
value even if we could quantify love somehow. Love doesn't vary with time; it stays constant
even until death. If I am wrong about love, then I never felt anything worthwhile…and
nobody has been in love. So are my feelings for you.
E.
Folding the note carefully, I slipped it into her locker and waited across the hall to monitor
her reaction as the final bell rang. The narrow corridor filled with the noise of chatting
students and clanging lockers. I watched through the crowd as Bella opened her locker
flanked by her constant companions, Lauren and Jessica.
When she opened the door, the note plunked onto the floor. Much to my horror, Lauren
and Jessica pounced and tore into it like it was an unexpected Christmas present. I held my
breath as my declaration of devotion to Bella suddenly became the object of amusement
and public derision as the two girls doubled over in wild fits of laughter.
“Oh, this is deep! What geek wrote this?” howled Lauren, between gasps.
“Oh my God, Bella,” Jessica chimed in, “some superfreak has a serious crush on you!”
“Yeah,” Bella laughed along, “how lame is that?”
Then she crumpled the note and threw it in her locker before slamming the door – both on
her locker and on my hopes. Too humiliated to say anything to her, I retreated back into the
comfortable safety of my empty, blissful musings, rigidly maintaining a perfect mask of
indifference and accepting the fantasy was all of Bella I would ever have…
“Yo, hey, virginboy!” Emmett’s jeering snapped me mercifully back to reality. “You givin’ this
auction some thought?”
“No,” I lied.
With shrug and a quick click he closed out of the screen. “I’ve gotta get to class. See ya at
the bar later?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” I mumbled distractedly as I watched him fling his backpack over his
shoulder and head out the door.
As soon as the door clicked behind him, I logged back on to the site and read the details Bella
had posted under the screen name ‘RareCherry’.
I glossed past the basics: details on her height, measurements, and even glowing GPA. My
stomach turned at the thought of my personal embodiment of perfection offering herself for
purchase.
Once the shock of what she was doing began to wane, I became very interested in the last
line of her posting -- the reason why.
She lacked the funds to stay in college.
Her desire to complete her education had pushed her into this desperate action?
Not if I had anything to say about it!
It only took me three seconds to decide on the course I would take…
Chapter 2 – Decisions
EPOV
I grabbed my cell phone. There was one person I needed to speak to. I waited nervously
through three rings before...
“Hello.”
“Dad, it’s me.”
“Edward, what’s up?”
Since I didn’t call home very often, I wasn’t surprised to hear my adoptive father, Carlisle,
immediately question my reason for calling.
“I need to talk to you about something, but I have to know we can talk about it in
confidence. You can’t say anything to anyone, okay?”
“You know you can always talk to me. This sounds serious."
“No. Well, maybe.”
“Start from the beginning, Edward,” Carlisle said in his calm, soothing doctor voice.
Patience was one of his best qualities…
“You remember Bella, right?”
“Bella Swan, the chief’s daughter?”
“Yeah. Well, she’s in a tough situation. She needs cash to stay in college. I want to use my
trust fund to help her do that.”
There, I put it on the table. No mincing words.
Carlisle silently contemplated my words. I knew he would help me think this out logically,
though I wasn’t completely sure logic was my ultimate motivating factor.
“You still have feelings for her?”
He knew me well, and I sighed, “Yes, I do.”
“She’s approached you for money?”
“No, not exactly. I kinda just…found out she needed help.”
“And I can kinda tell you aren’t giving me the whole story. But you have a good head on
your shoulders and a true heart in your chest. If your heart and mind tell you to help Bella,
then you need to do it. And you do know, you don’t need my permission to access the trust
fund your parents left for you – you are of age for that.”
“I know… I was just hoping you might tell me the right thing to do.” It was a difficult
confession considering I was an adult and should be making my own decisions.
He chuckled, “Any decision worth making is not easy. What’s your plan?”
“I don’t really have one and I don’t think she will just accept the money. She’s too proud for
a handout.”
“So…”
“So…I’ve got to figure that part out.”
“And what do you hope to gain for all your generosity?”
I paused. I had only focused on rescuing Bella from the demeaning act of subjecting her
innocence to some creepy stranger who just wanted to deflower her, giving no thought to
her feelings let alone provide her with the adulation she deserved. I hadn’t really thought
about myself.
So I answered honestly, “I don’t know.”
“You need to give that some thought too, Edward. Helping a friend is important, and
certainly more important than money, but be careful you don’t get yourself hurt in the
process, okay?”
“Okay. Thanks, dad.”
Ending the call, I caught Bella’s heart-shaped face smiling from the monitor. That’s all it took
for me to make my decision.
Logging in under the screen name CXVI, I typed in my bid: $500,000.
Under the specifics, I wrote: Meet me next Saturday at the Fairmount Olympic. Room
reserved under the name ‘Bard’.
Before clicking on ‘send’, I added one simple line: Love alters not with his brief hours and
weeks, but bears it out, even to the edge of doom.
BPOV
It was a beautiful day, warm and clear, and Seattle sparkled like a jewel ahead of me as I
took the exit off the highway politely commanded by the GPS in Alice’s car.
It had been just over a week since the winning bid was posted, literally knocking Alice and
me to the floor in hysterical screams of excitement. The quote the bidder included gave me
momentary pause, but it was quickly lost in the excitement of the moment.
Half-a-freaking-million dollars!
For seven days I blissfully lived in a bubble of joy planning my courses for next semester. My
money worries were solved! But the bubble suddenly burst when I saw the hotel come into
view. The full weight of my situation hit me square in the gut. A week was not long enough
to prepare for what I was about to do – to sacrifce! Trying to quell my sudden jitters, I
forced myself to focus my thoughts back on the rare sunny sky, desperate to ignore the band
of giant moths now fluttering in my midsection.
Pulling my small suitcase behind me I took a deep focusing breath and walked toward the
regal entrance of the Fairmont Olympic. I was awed by the gorgeous five-star hotel, yet my
stomach dropped and threatened to expel its contents as I walked through its doors.
You are so out of your element, Bella Swan…
Again desperate to compose myself, I ran through a mental checklist of what I had brought
with me. Most of it I hadn’t been sure I really needed, but Alice was adamant. Bath salts,
candles, negligee, matching robe and skimpy underwear set topped the list of my sexy
seduction “kit”. Then there was the rest of my supplies. The other purchases we’d made
just yesterday.
Alice had taken me to the local pharmacy where she “treated” me to about one-hundred
dollars worth of condoms, lubes and barriers in assorted textures, colors, flavors and
yes…sizes! She couldn’t stop giggling as she chose the box labeled “ribbed for her
pleasure.” Soon gold circle coin condoms, non-latex condoms (in case he was allergic to the
normal kind), lubed and non-lubed, ranging from small magnums to magnum XXL joined the
growing collection in the bottom of the basket.
She actually winked and nudged me in the ribs when she tossed in the XXL ones! “We can
always hope, right?” she asked coyly falling into another round of riotous giggles. My one
predominant thought: Please God, give me something to work with -- let him not need the
small size condoms!
Even now I rolled my eyes at the thought of the oxymoron of small Magnums! But as the
literature says, a proper fit increases the effectiveness of the condom in preventing potential
disease transmission and pregnancy, so I endured it with as much grace as I could despite
glowing like a stoplight the whole time.
My little jaunt down ‘Most Embarrassing Moments Lane’ was abruptly ended when the
Fairmont’s doorman politely greeted me. Nodding my thanks to him, I couldn’t help but
smile at the welcoming opulence of the hotel’s main lobby revealed to me as he held the
door open with a slight bow.
My eyes were immediately drawn to the curving staircase that served as the grand
centerpiece for the lobby. Admiring its graceful arc as I crossed to the reception desk, I felt
an irresistible urge to climb its graceful steps.
As I waited for the clerk assist me, I resolved to walk up the stairs rather than take the
elevator from the lobby.
Thankfully, I acquired the key to the suite without incident, even though I could feel my face
burning with embarrassment when the desk clerk eyed me dubiously. I couldn’t help but
wonder how many seedy scenarios he envisioned for why a frumpy college student was
requesting a key to a swanky hotel room under what was a somewhat obvious pseudonym. I
tried to smile warmly – and innocently – at him. Apparently it worked since he didn’t
question me and I quickly escaped, key card clutched firmly against my sweaty palm.
The embarrassing chore behind me, I crossed the room focusing on intently on slowly
climbing the ornate staircase and savoring each step of the experience. It did the trick; I was
completely diverted from the fears attempting to close in on me. The staircase was so
similar to the one I had frequently imagined in my fairytale dreams.
Just ahead of me, the grand piano at the top of the stairs was perfectly framed by the old
world banisters and rich silk drapes showcasing it. By focusing on the scrollwork of the
pillars, carved inlays, filigreed ironwork, cornices, wainscoting, and overall elaborate beauty
of the architecture, I was almost able to take my mind off of the absurd insanity of my
situation. I could pretend, if only for a few minutes, I was here for a true tryst, meeting a
sexy, secret lover who fulfilled my fantasies and thought about nothing except lavishing me
with all the pleasures life had to offer.
Savoring the lush smoothness of the polished wood handrail, I couldn’t help feeling a bit like
Cinderella rather than what I really was – a stupid, desperate girl about to whore herself out
to an absolute stranger. Silently growling at myself, I shook my head. If I wasn’t careful of
my musings I was liable to end up hyperventilating in a corner, sinking in self-recriminations
of just how dangerous and stupid what I was on the verge of doing really was. Seriously,
how was I to know if the stranger I was about to have sex with was not actually some sadistic
madman bent on raping and heinously murdering me before dragging my lifeless corpse off
for disposal?
Maybe I should have asked for the money up-front. Then at least Charlie would benefit
financially from my idiocy! What if all the precautions Alice and I had taken were for
naught? How soon could help really arrive if I missed one of the scheduled text check-ins
with Alice? Alice had instructions to call the police if anything went amiss. But was it
enough? I suddenly wasn’t as sure as I had been, my shaky-at-best bravado fading in the
face of reality.
Before I knew it, I found myself at the elevator and pressed the button to take me up to my
suite. Once inside its warm wooden walls, I tried to reassure myself by recalling every detail
of the instant messages I sent to CXVI trying to get an idea of his character. He seemed nice
-- famous last words of everyone who has ever been duped by one of the online sex
offenders caught appearing on Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” I’m sure! But, the bottom
line was my situation hadn’t changed, I needed the money. So I could only hope what little
he said was true -- that he was indeed a fellow college student -- a stinking rich college
student to be sure, but a peer none the less -- even though that sounded like another
oxymoron to me!
At least I could safely rule out old, right?
Still, I couldn’t help but consider at this late date: Could I really go through with this if he
disgusted me? Until now, I had romanticized my actions imagining the bidder as a savior in
my moment of need who would make me feel safe, prized and cherished in such a way I
would be glad to forfeit my virginity. Consoling myself, I thought at worst, he would turn out
to be some really pathetic guy whom I’d pity. After all, who was so desperate to get laid
he’d fork up half a million dollars for it, right?
But now, with the moment approaching all too quickly, I just felt like a fool who would be
lucky to escape the night with my life and an unpleasant memory. I felt trapped, afraid to
continue, but even more terrified of the certain consequences of bailing out.
The genteel ding of the elevator pulled me from my conflicting hopes and fears about this
evening. Taking another deep calming breath, I quickly noted of the sign on the wall telling
me the direction in which to turn for my suite, and strode determinedly down the hall,
wasting no further time on pointless worrying.
Once again wrapping myself in my bravado, I resolved I was in -- for good or ill.
Arriving at the entrance to the suite and opening the door, the sight before me took my
breath away. The cream and gold furnishings of the room were elegant and yet understated,
subtly accented with glowing wooden tables, bouquets of Stargazer lilies and lush
houseplants, creating a thoroughly welcoming and cozy tableau while remaining
unquestionably sumptuous. Wandering through the spacious suite, I drank in my
surroundings. The elegant prints of the stuffed chairs and drapes, as well as the way the
lamps and urns filled with flowers dotting the tables throughout the room all came together
to create a balanced ambiance that was both stimulating and soothing all at once. It really
was a very romantic setting, unfortunately making it even harder to keep my head in the
game -- after all, that’s all this was, a game between the haves and the have-nots.
I stopped my exploration next to the table in the center of the room. It was obviously meant
to capture my attention, and so it did. Arranged perfectly on a large silver tray, was a chilling
bottle of what I presumed was very expensive champagne, a covered tray of utterly sinful
looking ripe strawberries, and a vase of gorgeous deep red roses, bracketing a card
embossed with the hotel’s logo.
“Okay, I’ll play your game,” I commented to myself as I tore into the card. To my surprise,
and delight, it contained a reservation reminder to the spa and hairstylist. Hand-written on
the card itself, in an oddly familiar calligraphy, were two lines of cryptic instructions.
Meet me at symphony at 7pm. I will be he who wears the Rose of youth upon him.
Upon closer examination I discovered only 11 roses in the vase. At least this game was
getting interesting. My bidder was witty, had an eye for detail, a flair for the dramatic, and a
love of…Shakespeare?
Suddenly things began fitting together and I felt my breathing accelerate in response. The
bidder’s screen name – CXVI – 116. And his parting line: “Love alters not with his brief
hours and weeks, but bears it out, even to the edge of doom.”
Sonnet 116 by Shakespeare – The Bard.
Without my permission, the bittersweet recollections of that day in high school flooded my
mind. The lines were familiar because I had read them before. They were at the core of my
one and only romantic fantasy that started with a mystery letter. E’s letter…
Chapter 3 - Regrets
BPOV
I couldn’t name the number of times I relived that fateful day senior year, when I had
shamefully allowed my embarrassment and desire to please those close to me override my
natural reaction to the beautiful letter some tender soul of a boy had crafted for me. An
excerpt of Sonnet 116 was followed with a short personal message containing heartfelt
words of undying love. It was painstakingly handwritten in calligraphy on gorgeous paper
and sealed with a sticker meant to look like an “E” embedded in red sealing wax. The
beautiful letter was obviously not the result of a momentary whim, but spoke of careful
planning…and I had tossed it away with barely a glance.
As always, just thinking of it filled me with regret and shame and took me back as though it
was yesterday.
I’d been walking down the hallway with Jessica and Lauren at the end of classes for the day
near the beginning of our senior year. They’d stopped at my locker so I could get my biology
book before heading out to the parking lot. When I’d opened the door the piece of fancy
paper had fallen out. It was folded like an old fashioned letter and addressed to ‘Beautiful’.
Before I could pick it up, Jessica had snatched it up.
“Beautiful? I think Bella has an admirer!” Jessica taunted, reading the word written in a
crisp elegant script on the front of the letter.
“Come on Jess, let me see it.” I begged, trying to pretend I didn’t really care about it too
much, not wanting to fuel her interest further.
“Oh, noooo Bella! I definitely think I should give this a pre-read for you! What if it’s from
some pimply- faced, perverted freshman or something? What kind of friend would I be if I
didn’t screen your delicate eyes from potential filth!” she chortled, dancing away from my
outstretched hands as I tried to reclaim the letter. Whatever it was, I doubted I wanted Jess
to see it, and most especially, not before I did.
“No, Jess. Just hand it over. I’ll read it later!”
She completely ignored my outstretched hand, and ripped open the letter instead. She and
Lauren formed a human wall as they huddled together reading.
“Bella, love is a constant guide to us as we move through life …” she read from the letter
while barely containing her laughter. “What geek wrote this?” Jessica all but shouted before
reading more.
“Oh my God, Bella,” Lauren chimed in, “some superfreak has a serious crush on you!”
“Yeah,” I laughed along, “how lame is that?” I mumbled, my face flame red, and I was so far
beyond mortified, my extremities felt tingly and disconnected. Trying to cover my
embarrassment and save some sense of face, I crumpled the thick paper and tossed it into
the locker before slamming it shut and walking down the hallway.
Yet in all the ruckus, another set of eyes caught and locked with mine. His eyes were a
piercing green, colored by an emotion that reached out and grabbed my attention. The
moment was too intense for me and I averted my gaze to the floor. What was that about?
It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with me. I mean, he was by far the most handsome
guy in the school and he didn’t give any of the girls the time of day, keeping totally to
himself. My fantasies aside, I knew I had a snowball’s chance in Phoenix of being the girl he
chose to show interest in. But something about the look on his face made it so easy to
dream later the “E” from my letter was really Edward Cullen, hottest misanthrope at Forks
High.
Only somehow, if it was him, I knew upon later reflection, I had just destroyed any chance I
may have had by crumpling up that letter, a letter I still had to this day pressed in between
the pages of a scrapbook, careworn and ragged from frequent handling.
For weeks I’d all but stared at every guy in class whose first or last name started with an E. I
kept hoping my mystery man would send me another letter, meet me by my truck
afterschool some day, anything! But I never heard a peep from “E” ever again. Actually a
small part of me was glad for that -- the silence left me free to continue my fantasy
undisturbed –the one where my mystery admirer was actually Edward after all.
Having such a smart, attractive guy interested in plain old me would have been the best
dream come true ever. And it was just as ridiculous in the harsh light of day, as he
reconfirmed in Biology every day my hopes were indeed just fantasies. Edward remained
just as he had always been: aloof, brusquely professional, and rather cold.
And after the way I acted, I never could gather the nerve to ask if he had been the author of
the precious letter -- if he was “E”.
“Edward.”
His name left my lips as the stinging memories of regret filled my mind. I felt my chest
constrict painfully with the thoughts I tried desperately to shove back into the past. But
what if…. I felt tingles shoot up my arms and immediately scolded myself for being a fool.
It had to be coincidence…didn’t it?
Of course my bidder wasn’t the same person who sent me the cherished and much
lamented letter! Still, it was a tantalizing idea, especially since CXVI had included a line from
the very same sonnet with his bid.
I found my thoughts snapping back to when I first saw the bidding jump from $24,000 to
$500,000 in one bid. Until then I’d been a bit concerned by the screen name of the previous
leader: quiveringAro. Something about it gave me vivid nightmares that night, images of
some skuzzy old guy drooling on his keyboard over my picture while palming himself!
The new high bid, on the other hand, had made my heart skip a beat and felt inexplicably
familiar, safe even. Not trusting my luck to hold if I delayed, Alice had advised me to
immediately close bidding, locking in the current high bid as the winner, which I did. But had
my subconscious already made the choice – interpreting what it wanted from the most
tenuous of evidence – a chance to correct the wrong I had struggled to pretend I had left
behind in Forks.
As much as I wanted a second chance to make my most intense life’s regret right, I knew in
my heart of hearts Edward didn’t have the money necessary to place the winning bid. I was
just torturing myself by allowing myself to consider the idea it might possibly be him.
Anyway, I knew I didn’t deserve a second chance after showing such a lack of character, yet
standing in the fantasy surrounding of this high priced hotel suite, part of me clung to the
foolish hope the man with the key to my heart would somehow appear to save the day after
all.
I was suddenly an emotional mess. I told myself it was just the emotional stress of this
harebrained virginity auction come home to roost. Scolding myself, I pointed out to my
inner optimist it was childish of me to confuse fairytales with reality, and it was time to grow
up. I was about to do this for real; it was no longer just an intellectual exercise. With the
time upon me, I could no longer afford the luxury of denial.
Several hours later, well-massaged, primped, and coifed, I stood in front of the mirror in the
entryway. I smoothed the satin of the dress I was going to wear tonight. According to Alice
it was the perfect dress for an evening on the town. I had to agree. I actually felt classy and
moderately sexy in it, having only anticipated feeling awkward and unsure.
I made sure the card key for the room was securely in the little clutch purse Alice had lent
me and draped the matching thin black shawl around my shoulders. Donning the pretense
of a greater level of confidence than I felt, I marched out the door of the sumptuous suite.
As I walked the short distance to Benaroya Hall, my determination to follow through with my
decision was my only companion, but I was resolute to hold my head high whatever the
evening might bring.
I texted Alice informing her I was headed out.
Time to face the music.
Chapter 4 - Whatever Could go Wrong, Probably Will…
EPOV
It was a glorious night. Crisp and clear.
In my seldom-worn tailored black tux, I waited outside Benaroya Hall. It was a magnificent
structure of magnificence and technology, a flawless backdrop for (hopefully) the perfect
romantic reunion, the sting of the rejected letter now a suppressed memory. The dark sky
simmered with countless starts as light poured down on me from the four story windowed
atrium of the hall.
I fidgeted again with my bowtie. This was the first time my adoptive mom, Esme, hadn’t
been there to secure it for me. I thought of the scent of her hands and the smile she always
wore as she tied it.
Securing the red rose to my lapel, I checked my watch. It was 7pm.
My eyes began to search with growing anxiety through the finely-clothed crowd for Bella.
Suddenly I saw her weaving her way through the crowd. She was wearing a teal satin above-
the-knee dress with a black wrap with satin trim. Her high heels accentuated the exquisite
curve of her calves. Her hair was in an elegant up-do with tendrils that fell around the sides
of her face. I had never seen her look more lovely.
It hit me -- this was no longer my dream. She was here -- really here. And looking
expectantly...for me. Only, she didn't know it would be me.
The awareness of this struck me unexpectedly in the gut. I had been consumed with the
minute details of my fantasy evening with Bella: saving her from a lusting stranger and
rejoicing in the delight she would display when I handed her the check that would preserve
her desire of a quality college education, I didn't consider any other alternative ending. But
now...what if she rejected me...again. Carlisle's words rang through my head, and in
hindsight, I now realized what he meant. I didn't think I could handle the crushing rejection.
I was on a life-changing precipice. The question: would the fall be exhilarating or utterly
tragic?
Realizing my lack of control over the outcome of my mostly thought-out plan had me in
panic mode. I spun around, quickly turning my back to Bella.
Shit!
Maybe this was not a good idea...the notion of sliding the sizable cashier’s check under the
hotel room's door seemed like a very, very good option. Definitely less risky and Bella would
still get what she needed to keep her dream. In the end, I could also keep my fantasy alive
and unscathed.
Lost in last minute mental scrambling, I failed to notice Bella had approached me from
behind. When I turned around, I was horror struck to see Bella standing in front of me.
“Edward? I thought that was you. What are you…”
Her eyes strayed from my face to the rose on my label. She froze in mid-sentence, her eyes
flashing the same dread I was feeling. Buckle up, Edward, this was going to be one hell of a
ride…
“You! You’re the bidder?” She hissed before I could answer, her incredulous tone and
bright red face not remotely heralding the joyful reception I had hoped for.
Damage control!
“Bella, let me explain…”
“Explain what? That you thought this was a perfect time to exact your revenge? Humiliate
me? Make me pay for hurting you; I didn’t even know for sure you were the author! I’m
sorry about laughing at the letter, and letting Lauren and Jessica behave in such a hurtful
way, Edward, but this is real life, my life! Don’t fuck with it anymore, please.”
With tears welling up in her eyes, she quickly turned and ran toward the hotel.
Speechless, I watched her go as the pitying eyes of onlookers eventually averted as they
resumed their hurried journey to the hall.
I stood alone. “What a mess,” I groaned.
I was such a fool. Not only had I humiliated her by exposing her embarrassing money
predicament, but I had also made her remember a moment from her past she apparently
regretted as much as I.
I took the check from my left breast pocket. Holding it in both hands I prepared to rip it to
bits. It was then that Carlisle’s words resounded in my brain, “And what do you hope to gain
for all your generosity?”
Reflecting on my motives, I knew I had hoped to win Bella’s heart in the end. My last ditch
chance to make my dream a reality. But that hadn’t been my original purpose. I just wanted
to help her, protect her, and know she was happy. It may never come to pass that we would
be together, but I still could help her. I just had to do the right thing.
Tucking the check back into my pocket, I headed to the hotel. It was the longest walk I ever
took.
Arriving at the door, I sucked in a deep breath and knocked twice.
“Who is it?” Bella’s strained voice responded.
“Bella, um, it’s me.”
“Go away.”
“I just want to give you something and then I’ll leave. Will you open the door?”
“No. I’m packing. I’ll be leaving soon, so just go away, okay?”
“I’d really like to explain my actions, Bella. There’s been a misunderstanding…another
misunderstanding between us.”
I stopped my discussion with the door to politely smile and nod at the couple walking past
me in the hallway. As they strode by, I resumed my pleading in a more hushed tone, “If
you’d just give me a minute and open the door.”
“No, Edward. Go, so I can leave with a scrap of my dignity still intact.”
“The room is paid for. Just stay.”
“At least something is paid for! Your little trick cost me time and money.” She hissed, then
moaned, “Now what am I going to do?”
My palms began to sweat as I wondered what to do next. She hadn’t threatened to call
security, so I decided to confess everything – to hell with whoever heard. This was my last
chance…If I failed this time, I would not try again. Time had run out.
“Bella, I never meant to hurt you, I only wanted to help.” I slid the check under the door.
I waited in the empty corridor for some response from the other side of the door. After
what seemed like several minutes of silence, I turned to leave.
That’s when the door whipped open. Tears streaked her cheeks, but the look on her face
was a cross between bewilderment and anger.
“What the hell is this?” she exclaimed waving the check in my face.
“A deal’s a deal. It’s my offering bid.”
“It’s for a half a million dollars! Are you having delusions of grandeur or are you just plain
crazy?”
“Um… I …what?” I responded, genuinely confused on how to best answer her question.
“No one in Forks has this kind of money. What are you playing at?”
She shoved the check into my chest and slammed the door in my face.
Again, I resumed my conversation with the hotel room door.
“You know I am adopted. When my parents died, this was the value of their estate. I want
you to have the money. My family can afford my schooling – I don’t need it.”
I slid the check under the door – again.
This time it flew open more quickly. Actually too quickly. Bella hadn’t taken notice of the
woman approaching in the hallway with her young son.
“$500,000 for an amateur fuck?” she yelled at me.
The woman gasped, as did Bella upon seeing her. The obviously appalled woman covered
her child’s ears and hurried him past the door while shooting us a most perturbed glare.
“Shit!” She flushed a bright red before grabbing the front of my shirt yanking me in the
room. “Get in here.”
The room smelled of roses and Bella’s sweet fragrance. Her bag sat on the table next to the
flowers.
“Edward, I can’t screw you for money. We know each other -- our parents know each other,
for God’s sake! Forks is too small a town – I could never show my face there again. Just
forget everything, okay. Thanks, but no thanks.”
This time she offered the check out kindly and reluctantly.
“I’ve got to go,” she whispered as she turned to grab her bags.
“No, wait! Stay,” I blurted out.
Stunned by my commanding outburst, she looked back at me incredulously.
“Listen, we’ve been though a lot tonight. Can you give me a chance to explain? At least
have a strawberry and a glass of champagne – drown our sorrows? I promise, just five
minutes and one drink is all I ask.”
I felt like my whole life depended on this one moment, on her answer as I held my breath
and waited.
Chapter 5 - Second Chances
BPOV
He was right. I owed him at least that much after what I did to him back in high school, my
current humiliation and embarrassment aside. My gaze froze on the roses, the spa card, and
the chilled champagne on the table – suddenly seeing them in a new light. Maybe this
wasn’t about revenge or even sex; maybe it was another romantic offering, like the ill-
received letter.
If I let him explain, could I be brave enough to confess what I had felt for him in the first
place? Could I undo my mistake from the past? Could this disastrously awkward moment
really be a second chance?
I felt my shoulders relax in acquiescence.
“Fine. But just one drink.”
Desperately trying to hang onto my rage in order to keep myself wrapped in its protective
cocoon, I stalked across the room to the bottle chilling on the table. I couldn’t still the
trembling of my hands as I pulled the bottle from its icy nest, eased out the cork, and poured
the shimmering golden liquid into two flutes, proud I at least knew how to fake high-society
manners by repeating what I had seen on television shows.
Leaving one glass on the table, I snatched up a large red berry from the beautiful tray and
retreated to the couch, sitting with my legs curled up under me and crossing my arms. The
very image of reluctant impatience.
I had texted Alice when I was in the elevator. I told her the auction winner was a prank so
she need not expect any more texts from me tonight and I’d call her in the morning. I even
used the code word so she’d know the message was for real. Still, I kept my phone nearby in
case I needed it.
Edward warily took the other glass and sat across from me on the edge of his seat, inhaling
deeply. He was still so tense, a part of me incongruously worried I had scared him to the
point of reconsidering! I guess I really did want to hear his explanation even more than I
wanted to run and hide…
“I owe you an apology, Bella, and not just for tonight. If I hadn’t been such a
proud…chickenshit in high school, we could have avoided all this. But when someone I know
– who doesn’t know it was you by the way -- showed me your auction site, I just couldn’t sit
by knowing you could be hurt when I had the means to help. So I asked my dad if he could
see any reason I shouldn’t help…”
I shot up out of my seat, livid and panicked.
“You told your dad! Oh, my God! No one was supposed to know!” I wailed frozen between
the desire to run out the door and the need to retrieve my bag.
Before I could calm my thinking enough to take further action, Edward jumped up from his
seat and grabbed my shoulders, stopping me.
“No! You have to listen to me!” he begged, utter sincerity written large in his wide green
eyes. “I only told him I had heard you needed money to stay in college and I wanted to use
the money from my trust fund to help. I didn’t give him any details, I swear!
“He just asked if my intentions were honorable. I told him they were, and I meant it, Bella! I
wouldn’t take advantage of you like that. You mean more to me than that!”
“W-what?” I stuttered out in a soft, hushed voice, totally stunned. The shock of his words
sent a rush of adrenaline through my body.
Suddenly bashful from realizing what he had just blurted out, his chin dropped and he
looked away, as he whispered more to himself than to me, “It’s what I’ve wanted since the
first time I saw you and all I’ve been able to think about since. The idea of being with you --
it still fills my dreams.”
Somehow gaining confidence, he looked up and into my eyes now only inches from his.
“But your smile, your laugh, the shining spark of your mind and amazing wit, they were what
drew me to you…and what made it sheer torture to sit next to you in class believing you
thought I was lame for writing that letter. All I wanted was to touch you or make you laugh.”
His voice had risen by the end of his declaration but became even more muted than before
as he continued.
“It’s what haunts me even more than imagining the sweep of your breasts against my hand,
or the feel of your lips against mine.” His eyes fell closed at this admission. Bracing himself,
he finally risked another glimpse into my eyes.
“It’s YOU Bella. Not something as superficial as mere appearance. I love that about you too,
don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful but that only compliments the rest. I want you, Bella, I
want to claim all of you. You have no idea how much,” his voice caught momentarily,
causing a reciprocal twist in my belly, “but not like this…Not for money.
“If I win you, I want your heart and soul, the prize of your companionship, and the gift of
your intimacy to be given freely – never under duress from needing money or out of some
contractual obligation. I could never demean either of us that way!”
He took my hand, placing the check gently in my palm, “But I do want you to have the
money. Consider it a gift or an interest-free loan if you must, but don’t throw away your
future when the means to stay in school are in your hand, no strings attached.”
I could see the sincerity in his eyes as he turned to leave and as much as it killed me, I almost
let him go. My pride and fear almost won out, but just as he put his hand on the knob to
open the door, I knew if I let him leave, I’d regret it for the rest of my life. I would regret it
far more than I had regretted how I handled the situation surrounding the letter.
“Edward, wait…” I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, my voice soft and hesitant, “I don’t
want you to go.
“I can’t imagine a more perfect setting or a more perfect partner. The truth is I’ve always
wanted to be with you. You haunt my dreams, too.”
Turning to face me, Edward’s eyes widened at my hushed confession, utter shock on his face
quietly blooming into wistful hope.
“It was you I tried not to imagine as I prepared for tonight. I kept cursing myself as a fool for
wanting the lines from Sonnet 116 and the romantic gestures to add up to you,” I finally
confessed. “It was just such a shock actually seeing you and putting it all together – that you
were CXVI – One-hundred- sixteen,” my lips quirked up in an ironic smile. “My dream come
true.
“Then when I saw you…I couldn’t imagine you could possibly return my feelings. We didn’t
exactly finish hight school on good terms. I thought for sure you were just trying to ruin my
only chance to stay in college as retaliation for unknowingly stomping on your heart all those
years ago. You don't know how many, many times I've reread that letter, picturing you as
the writer, just to imagine how things could have gone.”
I took a tentative half-step toward him, but thought better of it at last second, hoping to
draw him toward me instead – this was all too good to be true. I still had my doubts. But I
couldn’t be anything less than as honest as he had just been with me if we were going to
have a chance to really make things right.
“We’ve wasted too much time already. I would like you to stay. I want you, Edward. Here.
Now. Like this. I was ready to give my virtue to a stranger tonight. I find instead I’m ready
to give my heart and whole self to the one it already has belonged to and if I’m lucky, I’ll gain
the same in return.”
I pled to him with my eyes, begging him not to reject me. The tension in his shoulders and
conflict apparent in his eyes conveyed to my insecurities the high possibility of a negative
outcome to the night, even after I had bared my soul so fully.
Was I too late to fight for him? Had my rejections hurt him too much? Now that I had finally
let him in would he leave me?
“Don’t leave… please,” I breathed -- tears filling my eyes, fear growing in my heart and
feeling more vulnerable than I ever knew it was possible to be.
Visibly trembling, he approached me, yet his expression gave nothing away. My heart was
pounding from the neighborhood of my throat as I waited to see what he would do or say.
My breath caught as he moved closer to me.
It was the moment of truth…
Chapter 6 - The Moment of Truth
BPOV
Edward lifted his hand and lightly ran the back of his index finger down the slope of my
cheek.
“As Shakespeare wrote, ‘Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.’ This is so much
better than a dream,” he murmured after a moment, the wonder in his eyes igniting joyous
hope in my own.
My pulse quickened as his hand cupped its warmth against my cheek. Tipping my face up,
his lips approached agonizingly slowly, before finally making featherlike contact with mine.
We both let out a gasp at the resulting bolt of desire that ripped through our bodies -- it
actually made my toes curl. Unwilling to release the contact, my arms wrapped around
Edward’s waist and fisted into his tux jacket. Our lips clung more firming, our breath
mingling as we began gloriously exploring and tasting each others’ succulent lips.
Soon our mouths opened, conscious thought a distant memory, as we welcomed the others’
tongue inside, occasionally sweeping forward to tentatively graze the other’s lips before
retreating. Panting, we finally pulled apart, eyes opening to seek the other's gaze; finding
passion, lust and burgeoning love written joyously in our eyes. My only fear now was not
being able to hold a candle to the Bella featured in his dreams.
Having divined the depth of his chivalrous character, I suspected I would need to make the
next step.
I took his hand, “Come.”
I led him into the bedroom. It was full of candles of all types: pillars, candelabras, and tea
lights floating in crystal bowls of water dotted with fragrant rose petals.
The bed had been turned down all the way to the foot in our absence. I released his hand as
we arrived at the bed. He watched me with rapt attention as I took up the long slender
lighter and lit each candle before switching off the harsh lighting of the lamp. Crossing the
room, I came to stand before him again. The flickering warm light of the candles was
reflected in his beautiful eyes, and I was overcome with want and need.
“I want to be yours, Edward. You have won my heart,” I admitted in a soft voice, knowing
desire and anticipation were written large in my eyes, for once grateful that my every
thought always showed on my face.
His arms rose up, seemingly of their own volition, to embrace me firmly. It felt like home –
safe, secure, an invitation to be completely open.
“I didn’t dare to hope…” he whispered into my hair, his voice thick with emotion and
longing.
We floated closer to the bed, neither fully aware of the motion while our lips danced in
glorious union.
Once again sensing I would have to move things along, I slid my hands under his jacket,
before following the curve of his ribs up to his shoulders to slip the jacket off and allow it to
fall to the floor behind him. I fought the urge to grin at his small grunt in response.
Emboldened, I slipped off his bowtie and began unbuttoning his shirt, amazed at my ability
to multi-task both lips and fingers. As we both became aware of the path we were taking,
our kisses became more heated, more urgent.
What felt like an eternity later, I had his shirt hanging open, my fingers trailing over the
undershirt covering his lightly muscled chest.
“Off,” I ordered softly into his ear. He wasted little time smoothly unfastening his cufflinks
and shrugging out of the shirt.
I allowed my hands to slide to the hem of his undershirt, dragging it up, my eyes never
leaving his in our slow dance of discovery. He courteously lifted his arms allowing me to pull
the stretched material over his head and drop it at our sides, his eyes blazing green with
passion.
Ungh. I’d imagined this so many times! I ran my hands over the planes, hills and valleys of
his bare torso, savoring the changes in texture, reveling in the slight trail of soft hair leading
from his belly button down past the waistband of his trousers.
Oh, God.
Feeling myself all but panting with anticipation, I allowed my thumbs one last swipe at his…
happy trail, and progressed up along the centerline of his body toward his pecs. I’d always
wondered if a man’s nipples were as responsive as a woman’s. To find out, I gently swept
my fingertips across their peaked texture. I delighted inside when they suddenly contracted
into sharp points and Edward gasped a small breath in; the instantaneous response making
me feel sexy and powerful. Leaning in, I placed my lips against his chest just below the base
of his neck then turned to lay my head against his shoulder, tipping my head back to breathe
in his glorious rich scent.
This was far and away better than any dream! I had absolutely no desire to pinch myself, for
if it was a dream, I wasn’t taking any chances on waking up!
Savoring his warmth and clean manly smell, I let my hands curve around the shell of his
body coming to rest just above the swell of his buttocks. Again wanting more I leaned back,
drinking him in with my eyes.
Lifting his hands from my shoulders at last, he gently caressed my face and neck, touching
the lobe of my ear, the curve of my jaw, brushing against the errant curls cascading from
atop my head, his eyes taking me in before moving in for another sweet, searing kiss. My
hands were cradled in the small of his back, running a short course up and down his skin
before pulling him firmly against me and sliding my hands down along the outside of his
thighs, stopping to grip the fabric just above his knees.
His hands slowly descended from my shoulders along the outsides of my arms and around to
my back while his lips descended along my jaw, past my ear and down to my collarbone. I
felt him take a deep breath in before his nimble fingers grasped the zipper on the back of my
dress to oh so slowly pull it down. When it was all the way down he paused, I assumed to
give me a moment to protest if I had changed my mind. I hadn’t.
I took a half step back, and looked him in the eye as I shrugged the slight sleeves off my
shoulders allowing the dress to pool around me on the floor. His breath caught briefly
before he quit breathing all together as his eyes widened slightly, yet remained glued to my
own. It was as if he were to look at my half-naked form, it would be his undoing.
My chest felt like it was a heaving bellows, as I reached out to unfasten his belt, and free the
clasp and zipper of his tux pants. They instantly fell into a matching pool of black around his
ankles.
Certain my heart was about to pound out of my chest, I sank slowly down onto the edge of
the bed and scooted back toward the center. As though he was tied to me with a chain,
Edward followed to settle on his side next to me kicking off his shoes and socks as he went.
His eyes followed his hands as they roamed the smooth expanse of my abdomen neatly
framed by black satin panties and matching bra. His breathing matched my own as he
leaned in to place a long lingering kiss just above my navel.
My flesh burned under his lips, and I swear a time-lapse camera would have shown the
ripple of goose bumps across my skin moving out from the epicenter of his kiss. Unbidden,
my body spasmed, reacting in a way I never knew was possible. He moaned, and I twitched
again.
I needed more. I had waited years to feel this, and I wanted more -- now.
“Undress me, Edward, please. I want you to touch me everywhere.”
The fire in his eyes made my chest constrict and my panties dampen. Such delicious torture.
Arching up, I let his hands reach under me to unclasp my bra, which after some fumbling he
managed to do. He grasped the shoulder straps and gently pulled them down my arms
before dropping the bra blindly behind him.
I felt suddenly exposed under his intense gaze, and my first instinct was to cover my
nakedness with my arms. But his eyes were so full of reverence that I laid my shaking arms
at my side allowing him to take in his fill.
Edward brought his hands to my neck before sliding them down the length of my body,
thumbs lightly brushing over my nipples making me gasp once again. When he reached the
edge of my panties, he hooked his fingers under them and pulled them down slowly leaving
me completely bare before him.
“Oh, Bella, you are so beautiful. Even more than I imagined.”
His husky voice shot through me increasing the tight burn that had begun smoldering
between my thighs.
“I want you to show me what you imagined doing to me all this time.” I could feel my eyes
glowing with an all but feral light. I had to know, had to feel what he had envisioned in his
haunting dreams or I would burst!
“Oh, yes,” he whispered climbing back into the large bed. My body rejoiced at his resumed
closeness.
His hands began moving across my skin in slow exploratory sweeps. Once his tactile desires
were satiated, he moved closer to taste my skin. His lips followed the path of his eyes to
languidly kiss circles around the heaving movement of my areolas before his mouth finally
opened to take the peaked nipple into the warm cave of his mouth. I cried out a deep
wanton sound that would have had me blushing to my roots if I weren’t so focused on
simply not hyperventilating from the pleasurable assault on my senses that was Edward
Cullen.
His hands roamed lower as he continued to sample my flesh, stroking the valley of my belly
just above my hips, his thumb dipping into my belly button before continuing lower.
“Lift up, Bella,” he instructed sliding the arm he was propping himself up on under my
shoulders to cradle me to him.
This done his lips sought mine again as his free hand descended over the curls between my
legs, gently cupping my heat. My hips bucked at the jolt of intense sensation, my mind
aswirl with desire and stimulation, the tension in my belly wound so tight it throbbed in a
demanding pulse of its own. I found my hands grasping at his back and shoulders, all but
devouring him with my unrelenting kisses.
His traitorous hand left my mound to continue down my thigh as far as his arm would reach.
I mewled my disappointment and writhed in encouragement for him to return back to where
I wanted him.
Instead he kissed down my chin and neck to the hollow at the base of my throat, his tongue
gently flicking out to send additional spikes of pleasure shooting through me.
I trailed my hands down his shoulders, skipping onto his chest and then lower to the top of
his boxers. Finding the snap, I fumbled to release the pressure his erection was creating
against the well-tented fabric. I peeled the flap back to expose his straining length.
“Take them off,” I breathed unevenly.
I hadn’t noticed him freeze as my hand reached his underwear. With his eyes closed, he
removed his hand from my thigh and shimmied the cloth down his legs before kicking the
interfering cloth to the floor. Edward lay, still cradling me, rigid with anticipation, as I
returned my hand to his hip. His skin was so smooth that the occasional hairs made an
interesting contrast as I trailed my fingertips back toward his waiting arousal.
I had never seen one, live and in person before, and found myself fascinated by the textures
and veins, the almost shiny quality to the skin of the shaft as it strained up toward us and the
more velvety texture of the tip. I had never expected the leaking fluid pooling at the slightly
gaping opening to call to me, begging to be treasured. I stared fascinated as my hand slid
over the coarseness of his thigh before lightly exploring the pouch at his base and stroking
up to the tip. He shuddered and groaned as I touched the tip, dipping my finger into the
gentle stream of flowing moisture. One day I wanted to taste it with the tip of my tongue, a
desire I would have found shocking before today.
In one quick motion, he pushed me firmly on my back as he attacked my mouth, his hand
reaching up to bury itself in my hair at my temple. I eagerly returned the kiss, sucking on his
lower lip and arching toward him -- my body determined to convey my need for him. His
hand left my hair to skim down my arm past my breasts and ribs to settle between my legs
again.
Ah, sweet success!
All my breath left me as his fingers dipped inside my well of wetness while applying pressure
with his palm to my swollen lips. Groaning again, he carefully, but thoroughly explored my
sex, my body quaking each time his fingers stroked the sensitive nub straining for his
attention. My body cried for release under his ministrations, but his tentative rhythm would
only drive me to the brink of insanity! Brazenly, I reached down, placing my fingers over the
top of his. I began guiding him, our fingers working in tandem to send undiluted pleasure
surging though my tightly coiled body.
We both began undulating, his penis pressing tightly against my hip with each thrust as he
leaned partially over me, our mutual focus on his fingers slipping briskly back and forth lifting
me to a height from which I longed to free fall.
My eyes clamped shut as my hands fisted into the bedding, surrendering to his fingers, the
feeling so different from when I had touched myself in the past. My mouth fell open as I
panted, low inarticulate moans piercing the quiet merging with his equally heavy breaths
and the gliding slick sounds of his hand moving against me.
Pleasure ricocheted through me, my hips bucking and spasming wildly. My hands moved to
clutch at his back and shoulder as my body strained toward a new and unfamiliar goal.
“Oh, God, Bella! You’re so close, aren’t you?”
His hoarse, tense voice pushed me over the edge, and I exploded. My legs clamped together
on his hand as my bottom arched off the bed, my chest constricted with pulsating steel
bands of pleasure, locking my cries in my throat. My mouth stretched in a rictus of pleasure,
every muscle tensed to the fullest, twitching rhythmically. As I returned to myself and drew
a deep shuddering breath I grabbed Edward’s wrist to still him.
My eyes opened, and I looked at him stunned and panting, aftershocks occasionally shooting
through me.
“That was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen, Bella.”
I regarded his comment and for a moment and thought to feel ashamed for my wanton
behavior, but then realized I was not remotely in the mood to argue about it at the
moment. There was more I wanted to accomplish...
Chapter 7 - Fairytales Really Do Come True
BPOV
“Drawer… Edward. Look in… the… drawer… I’m not… done… with you… yet. I need you,” I
pushed out, still breathless from the unexpected intensity of my first assisted climax.
Releasing me he wasted no time opening the drawer, his eyes bulging slightly at the wide
array of choices available. I blushed – I’d tell him that story later.
He grabbed a fairly standard one from the middle and shut the drawer.
I smiled sinfully – no smalls necessary tonight, that’s for sure!
Edward’s manhood looked just like I would have wanted it to -- not frighteningly long,
straight with a nice but not intimidating girth. It matched the beauty of the rest of him.
Unabashed, reveling in my newly discovered sexuality, I enjoyed watching it twitch as
Edward ripped open the packet and rolled the condom down his entire length, carefully
keeping the air out of the reservoir space at the tip.
My body still hummed with the pleasure Edward had given me, the flames of passion
banking into a deeper burn waiting to be reignited to higher peaks. I squirmed in
anticipation. Condom applied, Edward looked over at me laid out before him, basking in the
sight of his perfect male form.
“Bella, are you sure?”
His words spoke of his gentlemanly side, but I could see the fire blazing in his eyes was as
bright as the flaming tips of the candles dancing around us.
“Please, Edward.” I opened my arms to welcome him back to me.
"My heart is ever at your service," he quoted Shakespeare as he laid over me, kissing,
fondling, and reawakening my body to a blistering desire I never would have conceived
possible. I felt worshiped as his hands roamed my body, the reverent exploration leaving
tantalizing sensation in its wake, paying homage to me as he obviously strove to rein in his
passion.
I opened my legs wider welcoming his body between them, cradling him in a way I had only
imagined. It felt amazing. Fulfilling and incomplete all at once. My body twitched and
arched involuntarily as Edward gently grasped my earlobe between his teeth then suckled in
earnest on the soft, tender flesh.
I felt a dipping sensation in my belly as the coil again tightened when he brushed against my
need, causing us both to gasp anew.
“Yes, Edward. There.”
Pulling back to look me in the eyes, Edward began rocking against me, nestling deeper
between my silken lips with each movement. I began rocking as well, my hips marking my
pleasure as we synchronized our slight motion.
It was bliss.
The movement nearly satisfied the need my nether region had been screaming for since our
bodies first touched, but still wasn’t enough -- I wanted all of him. Even my flesh knew there
was more.
“More, Edward. I need you!” I wailed, frustrated and aroused almost beyond bearing.
He clenched his jaw and began rocking with more purpose, his tip hitting the edge of my
core, making me shudder.
“Tilt…up, Bella,” he instructed.
I bit my lip as I complied with his request, gasping loudly as I took a man inside for the first
time, the head of his penis stopping just inside my entrance.
This was it. It was really happening… and with the man of my dreams no less! All I could
think was: I do believe -- I do believe in fairytales!
Edward stilled, taking several deep breaths.
“So good,” he murmured, obviously struggling to stay in control.
I squirmed and moaned, my body tired of being in limbo. “More.”
“Please, Bella…” he quietly exclaimed, mimicking my early exclamation, before sinking
deeper into me; the pleasure and the pain combining into a single mind-blowing experience.
As I held him close, sharing the gift I could only give but once, I was suddenly struck by how
glad I was I had waited, understanding what people meant when they spoke of making their
first complete sexual encounter special. I could have had physical coupling with any number
of guys over the years, but knew to the core of my being, none of them would have
compared with this. It merely would have been a joining of bodies, pleasant, even satisfying,
but what I was feeling with Edward…because of Edward… transcended the physical to be a
physio-emotional wonder I would never forget. We were one in every way two beings could
be. How could the superficial slaking of desire possibly compare with the completion of a
deeper emotional connection?
I gasped at the pleasure and unusual sensation of being so filled as he pushed in a bit
deeper. I felt a slight twinge, but no tearing pain, the analytical side of my mind cataloguing
the differences between what I had always heard about the “first time” and the surprising
reality.
I think Edward noticed my distraction, because he stilled his movements and breathing
deeply through his nose began an assault on my neck and collarbones while his hand palmed
my breast deliciously.
Rational thought fled and the physical took over. My entire being drew inward operating
purely on a level of stimulus and response. I don’t think I could accurately describe what all
transpired in those next moments, but I do know Edward’s loving attention to pleasuring my
body while being deeply encased within me took me to a whole new level of arousal.
My hips began undulating in circles, encouraging him to match a rhythm I somehow
instinctually knew. He buried his nose in the crook of my neck and began pumping his hips,
slowly at first, but increased pace as we fumbled our way into a complimentary cadence.
It felt right to buck my hips up each time he was seated fully inside me, causing our pubic
bones to meet. The amazing thing about this discovery was the delicious way it caused the
rough curls at his base to strike against the inflamed moistness of my pleasure center with
every thrust. Our rhythm occasionally faltered, breaking our climb.
Edward picked up his pace, rearing back a bit, supporting himself fully on his extended arms.
I found myself gripping his biceps with a scream perched on my lips. This insane tension we
shared threatened to tear us to bits. The occasional moments when I would focus on
Edward straining and panting above me were incredibly erotic, feeding the madness within.
He had his eyes closed, his brow furrowed in concentration, his mouth streaming sounds of
pleasure and unintelligible words. I could smell his incredible warm, slightly musky man-
scent reaching up to surround me in its heated embrace. I was in absolute nirvana of the
senses.
I could feel the sweat building up between our straining bodies, making his pelvis slip and
slide against my own, adding even more glorious sensation to our increasingly strident
movements. It was almost too much, and I could tell if I kept thinking about it rather than
just surrendering to the experience to which I was rapidly building up, I would never reach
the ephemeral goal I could sense just out of my reach.
“So close,” I muttered, more to myself than to Edward, digging my heels into the cleft
between his thighs, striving to take every inch of him within me.
Flinging my head back I snuck another peek at Edward, only to discover him staring fixedly at
me, his eyes heavily hooded yet intense. Suddenly he kicked his thrusting into overdrive,
pounding wildly into me, flesh striking against flesh. I cried out as the taut thread of
pleasure inside me snapped without warning, throwing me over the edge of the invisible
precipice to which I had been clinging. It was shattering and glorious beyond my wildest
dreams; my climax earlier was inferior in comparison. Every fiber of my being constricted,
and just as quickly released, blinding me with the intensity of all encompassing pleasure. I
couldn’t breathe and felt my thighs become a vise around Edward’s pelvis.
As I came to and began breathing again, I became aware of him still buried deeply within
me, his body equally taut, shallow spasmic thrusts rippling through his torso as he ground
himself against me, a long high moaning bellow ripping from his throat. He too seemed to
be transported to another place outside of time for a few moments before collapsed
exhausted across my chest.
I adored the feel of the weight of him pressing me into the mattress, lying across me so
unguarded and spent. It was the perfect ending to an experience that was so far beyond a
fantasy only his weight upon me grounded me to the reality of the moment.
EPOV
The shattering strength of my release took me by surprise. I wasn’t sure how long I lay spent
over her body, murmuring words of adoration in her ear, but at some point I became
cognizant of the fact I might be crushing her.
I slid to her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her to my chest. With a
shudder, she rested her head against me and placed an arm across my midsection.
“Amazing,” I sighed, not sure if I was more mesmerized by the overwhelming physical
gratification of making love or the emotional climax I just experienced realizing my fantasy
had become a reality at last.
So much better than a dream…
As I continued to bask in completeness, I rested my cheek on the top of Bella’s head,
breathing in the sweet, warm scent of strawberries.
My Bella.
I could feel I was falling in love with her all over again, but this time it was consummated,
openly given.
Somewhere in my reveling, I realized Bella was trembling against me. Alarmed, I moved to
look at her face. Tears were streaming from her eyes as she now lay on her back.
As I hovered speechless over her, I felt a crushing blow to my chest and I knew I never
wanted to see her cry again. I felt the additional stab of guilt slice through my gut, “I’ve hurt
you.” It was more a statement than a question, and I quickly wiped away the tears as they
escaped her deep brown eyes, desperate to make her feel better in any way I could. She
shook harder and futile apologies continued to rush from my lips.
What had I done?
Bella bit her lower lip and placed a warm hand against my cheek. Taking several deep
breaths, she attempted to compose herself and I waited for her to speak.
“No, no, Edward! You haven’t hurt me. I guess they are tears of joy…or relief…or
frustration.”
“Okay…” I responded, more confused than relieved.
She rushed to clarify, “I guess I just can’t believe our stupidity!”
“Stupidity?” I questioned, now completely bewildered. How could the best night of my
entire life equate to stupidity?
“Don’t you see? Here we’ve been pining for each other all this time simply because we were
too stupid, prideful, embarrassed, and scared to tell one another!”
Her voice took on a seductive tone before she add, “Look what we’ve been missing…”
Her hand ran from my cheek to my chest and down to my upper thigh, her forearm brushing
slightly against my manhood.
“Yeah,” I sighed as comprehension bloomed -- along with a flare of desire.
Looking at me with narrowed eyes, she exclaimed, “’Yeah’? I confess to you from my soul,
and all you can say is ‘yeah’! Couldn’t you come up with something a little more profound,
Bard?”
I laughed at her sarcasm and attempted to don a look of serious pensiveness as I searched
for an appropriate Shakespearian quote to fit the moment.
Shrugging I added, “The course of true love never did run smooth…”
Slowly, a smile curved her lips upward and we both burst into laughter. I fell to my back and
we lay laughing until my sides hurt. When we finally drifted into silence, Bella rolled onto
my chest, propping herself up on her forearms. I gazed expectantly up at her.
Her skin was so radiant, and her slightly swollen red lips begged to be kissed. Her hair
framed her beautiful features, tumbling loosely around her face and shoulders.
“What now?” she quietly asked.
Forever flashed before my eyes, and I knew I wanted to spend every day of my life with
Bella. Starting with today…
“Do you trust me?” I asked her.
“Yes.”
“Hand me the phone.”
She reached across me to the bedside table and grabbed the receiver, handing it to me,
curiosity showing in her bright eyes.
“Press 0.”
She wordlessly complied, and we stifled a chuckle as the front desk attendant answered,
“Yes, Mr. Bard, how can I assist you?”
“I think I’d like to extend my stay for one more night, please.”
“No problem,” he said as I heard tapping on a keyboard in the background. “You are all set.
I hope you enjoy your stay.”
I looked at Bella smiling her approval down at me, her eyes shining with anticipation.
“Oh, I believe I will…”
Chapter 8: The Morning After
Bella took the receiver from my hand and pressed her warm body against me to hang it up.
The feel her firm breasts crushing against my bare chest sent my brain into overdrive,
memories of our recent lovemaking raced through my mind, accompanied by the music of
her pleasured sounds as she rode out the waves of orgasm. Her eyes had reflected an
incredible mixture of liquid satisfaction and blazing fire. Undoubtedly the most beautiful
sight I had ever beheld.
And I did that to her.
No one before me.
As she stretched out along my side draping an arm over my chest, I swore: No one after me.
I could never go back to what I had been before last night, nor did I ever want to. The
connection with Bella which I had created in my mind to be so pure it seemed an impossible
reality, did indeed exist. I had tasted heaven. But even more shocking than finding my
dream to be a truth, was my desire to please her in every way.
Suddenly the desire to know everything about her filled me with questions. What were her
hopes and dreams? Where she was most ticklish? What did every inch of her skin feel, smell
and taste like…. I wanted everything. Now. Always.
I was high on the experience of her: in my bed, by my side, confessing her want for me in
return.
Pulling her closer, she sighed and nuzzled into my chest. I kissed the top of her head and
breathed her in. All the years I had spent wondering what it would be like to hold her, kiss
her, to be inside of her. Now I knew and it felt…right. Every fiber of my being acknowledged
this was right.
“It’s still wrong, Edward.”
But it wasn’t going to be easy, was it?
“What could be wrong, Bella? Do you regret tonight? Should I leave?”
“No! Don’t leave!” She jerked her head up and her wide eyes flashed fear. Bella’s panic
actually gave me relief. She didn’t want me to go. Not earlier … and not now.
Taking a breath, she continued, “It’s the money. I can’t take your money. Our relationship
can’t be based on a check – on an absurdly large check. It’s something I could never repay. I
would always be in your debt. And that makes me…uncomfortable.”
Relationship! It was the only word I actually heard. Bella wanted a relationship!? In that
moment, the only thing that stopped me from jumping out of bed to shout a celebratory fist
pump was the image of how ridiculous I would look jumping around butt naked.
A more reasonable reply formed rapidly in my head: tell her the money doesn’t matter –
you love her! But fear caught the words before they could escape. Don’t push it…don’t
smother her or you might scare her off. Take it slow.
At a loss for how to appease her without declaring my undying love for her, I settled on
evasion. “It’s late, let’s talk about it tomorrow.”
To my relief, she smiled, “Tomorrow. I like the sound of that.” She laid her head upon me
again and sighed so beautifully. I reached to stroke her hair, speaking the words of affection
I could not keep at bay, “Sleep now, Bella. You’re safe here with me. Sweet dreams.”
The tension left her body and all too soon her breathing was slow and rhythmic. “I love
you.” I whispered into her fragrant hair. As if on cue, the last of the tealights in the room
flickered out and I drifted into the most heavenly slumber I could ever remember...
* * * *
“Edward? Edward!”
Bella’s frantic voice calling from the bedroom had me moving faster than I thought I was
capable of. Practically tossing the room service tray holding our breakfast across the foyer
table, I skidded into the room to see her sitting upright in bed, the sheet pulled tight around
her naked form.
“What? Are you okay?”
“Oh, oh, there you are. It’s nothing. I’m okay. Sorry to scare you.” A warm red hue colored
her cheeks and I put two and two together.
“Bella, did you think I left you?” I asked, feeling hurt she would think me capable of such a
thing.
Amazingly, she blushed an even brighter red. “I thought maybe…”
She hesitated as if to judge whether she could trust me with what she was about to say. “I
thought maybe I had dreamt the whole thing. You know, the whole fairytale come true bit,”
she admitted in a rush, the redness spreading down her neck as she began twisting the sheet
in her hands.
My jaw dropped at her words, stammering for what to say to ease her embarrassment, I
attempted humor. “Well, Sleeping Beauty, I’m no prince, but I did order breakfast. Are you
hungry?”
Relief lit up her face, and with a smile, she nodded enthusiastically.
“How about breakfast in bed for the princess?”
Sprinting back to the silver tray, gratefully noting it hadn’t taken any overt damage from my
rough handling, I slowly returned with it held high in front of me, trying to keep the juice
from sloshing out of the glasses.
Setting the tray in front of her I sat cross-legged on the bed across from her. Eyeing me, she
stifled a giggle.
“What?”
“That’s some fashion statement you got going, Mr. Bard.”
I had to look silly wearing only my wrinkled tux pants.
“I thought it would be too forward if I showed up with an overnight bag…”
There was an awkward silence until Bella filled it.
“So what’s on the menu?”
Grandly lifting the silver plate covers, I announced, “Scrambled eggs, wheat toast and fresh
fruit.”
“It looks delicious.”
I thought her smile was more tempting, personally.
We ate in silence, mostly. I wasn’t sure what Bella was thinking, but for me, the reality of
our situation was beginning to sink in.
The saying “Be careful what you wish for…” drifted through my mind as I looked at Bella
struggling to use proper table etiquette while eating her eggs off the plate in her lap. This
was the stuff of my dreams, yet I had never imagined the scenario any further than this.
So what do I do now?
Here we were, not quite friends, playing lovers in a posh hotel. I was in totally unfamiliar
waters…and I didn’t like it much.
“So, where are you ticklish?” I blurted out.
The sudden off-handed question caught her unprepared and she laughed, nearly ejecting
juice out of her nose. Covering her mouth with the cloth napkin, she exclaimed, “You aren’t
going to tickle me are you, Edward?”
I couldn’t tell, was that an invitation or a threat? “Maybe?”
Recovering her composure, she popped the last piece of toast in her mouth, and answered
my question, “I think not. I don’t like to be tickled.”
But again, I wasn’t quite listening. She had a thin smear of strawberry jam spread deliciously
across her top lip and it was commanding all my attention.
She noticed my distraction.
“What?”
“You’ve got…um…jam right…” I pointed to her lip and she ran her tongue tantalizingly over
her lips, but managed to just miss the sticky substance.
“Let me.” My voice sounded distant and slightly strained as I reacted without conscious
thought… Leaning very slowly toward her, I brought my lips in toward hers before gently
licking at the jam with a soft swipe of my tongue, before sucking her top lip in between my
own. The taste and texture of her mouth was utterly captivating – and the jam was good
too.
One hit of the drug that was Bella was all my system needed to gear up for more. My heart
raced and I was drawn to her. Shoving the tray roughly to the side, I closed the space
between us, lost in the overwhelming physical response to her taste. Like a switch had been
flipped, my mind moved on a one- track course straight to her. Higher-level thought was lost
in the haze of desire as I laid her beneath me, sinking gloriously onto her welcoming body.
Bella responded instantly, fisting her hands in the hair at the nape of my neck as she
returned my fervor, but then abruptly broke away, “Edward…I need to freshen up first, do
you mind?”
She struggled slightly under me. Rolling off her, I strove to find the gentleman Edward
within me once again. “Of course, whatever you need. I’m sorry.”
Awkwardly she moved to slide off the bed, pulling the sheet with her. Quickly I grabbed at
the tray before it had a chance to slide onto the floor. Bella blushed, mumbled some words
of apology, and hastily wrapped the sheet around her bare backside as she rushed to the
bathroom, the door closing with a loud click.
After a few deep breaths, I regained enough control to sit up. Adjusting myself, I gathered
up the tray and carried it to the foyer. Bella had seemed so thrilled to spend another day
with me, but maybe what I thought we’d do with another day in this room was different that
what she thought we’d do.
Again cursing my lack of planning and control, my eyes caught the bottle of open champagne
swimming in melted ice near the table.
“Maybe a little touch of liquid courage…”
Shrugging, I poured a glass of the celebratory liquid into my empty glass. Downing it quickly,
I poured another and threw it back as well. Only enough for one more glass remained in the
bottle. Reminding myself, I poured it for Bella, intent on making her a mimosa. Then I had
to stop and question if my motives were truly virtuous…
The sound of water bursting from the showerhead startled me out of my shameful
thoughts. Was she
“freshening up” or stalling? Struck again with uncertainty, I longingly eyed the last glass of
champagne...
“Edward? Are you there? I forgot to grab my shampoo and conditioner from my bag,” Bella
called out over the running water. “Could you get them for me?”
Her hastily packed bag sat on the table next to the breakfast tray in the foyer. Opening it, I
fumbled through her belongings. In my blind searching for plastic bottles, my hand brushed
against something very silky. Forgetting my original reason for manhandling her
possessions, I sought out the material that shot an electric pulse straight through my hand to
my groin.
Snagging a slender strap, I pulled my prize out slowly, appreciating every bit of its glorious
reveal.
It was a short slinky black chemise-style negligee with tiny little straps that slid in rippling
satin waves across my fingers. The thin straps taunted me with images of slipping them off
Bella’s shoulders while my lips worshiped the newly bared flesh… Oh, and how the lace at
the top would just frame the beautiful swell of her breasts, shrouding them in mystery
before dipping to accentuate the narrow curve of her waist. The hemline in the back was
slightly longer than the front, and would no doubt serve to subtly frame the holy triangle of
her feminine mystique when seen from the front
“Oh, God,” my knees weakened from the sudden smack of alcohol hitting my brain and
blood diverting swiftly to my swelling my need for her. The thought of Bella wearing this
and those heels from last night...
Provocatively her hips would sway, the slightly longer hem in the back beckoning to me,
begging me to reach out and touch from behind. Gently and, oh so slowly, I’d slide the
material up those graceful hips until just the slightest rounded curve of her ass would peek
out…
“Edward, are you coming?”
Yeah, almost.
Snapped out of my lustful reverie, I rifled through her bag once more, retrieving the bottles
of Suave Strawberry-kissed shampoo and conditioner. Then another image of Bella struck
me. “Maybe…”
I moved the bottles to one hand and optimistically snatched up the negligee and lukewarm
glass of champagne in the other before dashing to the bathroom.
Cracking the door open, a cloud of steam billowed out, bathing me in Bella’s scent. I wanted
her scent all over my skin again…
I poked my head in the door. The shower was to the right of the room, recessed so I
couldn’t directly see into its glass doors. But the mirrored wall on the other side of the room
provided a stunning, mesmerizing view.
Barely concealed by a thin veil of steam coating the glass doors, Bella’s silhouette took my
breath away. What I had mostly experienced through my hands last night was now on full
display for my eyes to feast upon through the semi-transparent barrier separating us.
Her head was tilted back and a low groan slid from her lips as she stood between the dual
showerheads. Her body took on a sleek S-shape, thrusting her breasts out while the water
flowed down her shoulders and hugged the sloping curve of her lower back. Her bottom, so
gently rounded, led graciously to the sculpted legs I admired and longed to stoke again.
Without thinking, I threw back the glass of champagne in my hand, setting the empty glass
on the sink counter as entered the room. Emboldened, I left proper decorum behind and I
allowed myself to be pulled toward her. Pulling the shower door open, I extended the
bottles to her, my fingers straining to grip the bottles.
“Here’s your shampoo, Bella…” I said, my voice barely making it past my lips as I soaked in
the sight before me.
My sudden appearance startled her and she jumped before shrinking back against the wall
and wrapping her arms across her nakedness. Redness bolted to her face.
I knew I should have averted my eyes, begged her pardon and left the room in
embarrassment for openly gawking at her exposed form. That would have been the proper
course of action for a gentleman. But I saw poetry before me – her form as lovely as the
words that flowed in smooth cadence over the lips. As such, she was to be treasured…
“Oh, Bella. Such beauty should never be covered.”
My intrinsic lust for her made my voice a low husky growl. It was unbearable for me to see
her react with fear and insecurity when I would give so much to just be able to drink in the
glorious glow of her bare flesh for the rest of my days.
I needed to be near her.
“Can I help you wash your hair, princess?”
She nodded mutely, eyes still wide; but the tension eased from her posture, and her arms
loosened from across her chest. Quickly shedding my trousers, I stepped into the steamy
embrace of the shower.
“Turn around, Bella” I instructed softly as I slipped the condoms onto the nearby shelf along
with the bottle of conditioner before pouring a generous portion of shampoo into the palm
of my hand. She obliged, but not before I noticed the way her chest was heaving ever so
slightly.
The view from behind was tantalizing. Water tumbled along her buttocks after free falling
from the ends of the long hair lying against her back. I envied the way the thin streams of
water caressed her skin as they glided down her body.
I ran my hands over her tresses, spreading the shampoo thoroughly and working it
methodically into a rich lather. Bella hummed in delight as I massaged her scalp and I smiled
knowing I was pleasing her. My focus moved to the large cascade of lather sliding down her
back. Spontaneously I reached out to stop its descent, and found myself marveling at the
silky texture of the soap against her porcelain skin.
Conscious thought fled as my hands became lost in the tactile experience. They began
spreading the soap from her hair all along her back, up over her shoulders, down her hips,
along the rise of her bottom before sliding up the front of her thighs to her belly. Her ribs
soon came under my wandering soapy ministrations before my hands ascended to the swell
of her breasts, their slight weight feeling right in my hands as I fully cupped them, my
thumbs sweeping out to run over the inviting buds of her now taut nipples.
Her body was responding to me and her slight gasp was music to my ears … and all I needed
to continue my ravenous exploration of her body.
Stepping in toward her until my skin brushed against hers, I began squeezing the supple flesh
of her breasts, savoring the way they felt moving against my palms and fingers. Our change
in body position redirected the trail of bubbles causing them to flow from her hair down the
center line of her body, between her breasts and toward the nest of curls between her legs.
Unbidden my right hand detoured to follow the same track toward her center.
She moaned a deep rich sound that echoed off the tile walls and filled me with delight. I
pulled her firmly against me, her body’s curves conforming, almost melting, into mine.
Fueled by my alcohol induced boldness and the feel of my hardness nestled against her, I let
my fingers dance across the planes of her belly, reaching the soft, springy texture of her curls
before they began their curious exploration of the slick, silky folds between her legs.
She breathed out heavily before leaning back fully against my shoulder her head turning to
nestle against my neck, faint sounds of enjoyment punctuating her rapid breathing. I tilted
us into the streams of water to gently remove the suds from her skin, until she was coated in
glittering droplets. I wanted to feast on the decadence of her skin in every manner possible,
to physically take her into myself and make us inseparable forever.
My hunger for her now was dipped in lust and need. My mouth languorously kissed, nibbled
and sucked at the jewel-like drops covering the skin of her shoulders, neck and jaw line while
my hands continued their joyous exploration of her body’s most secret places. I wanted her
to know what effect she had on me, so I pressed myself tightly against her allowing her to
feel how hard I had become.
As her hips began to rock, alternating pressure against my hand and my erection, I found my
tongue lapping at the gentle streams of water slipping from behind her ear and down her
neck. I consumed her eagerly now, for never had water tasted so good.
“Edward, more, Edward. I need more of you,” she panted, her voice still managed to be
vulnerable while containing a hint of steel underneath. It made my belly twist in pleasure.
“Your wish is my command, Love.”
As I removed my hand from between her legs, she spun in my arms, looking so amazing with
the steam rising around her. A long low sound of appreciation slipped past my quenched
lips, the humid heat making it difficult to breathe. I still couldn’t believe my good fortune.
She was mine. I would do everything in my power to deserve her.
Instinct took control and I pressed her against the tiles pinning her body with my own, our
lips melded together in searing needful kisses. Last night had been our first; it was the
purging of several years of wanting. But now it was about taking.
The gentleman had taken his leave. I needed her, and everything about her said she needed
me just as much.
Swiftly grabbing a condom off the shelf I tore the package and rolled it on. Now prepared, I
reached down between us and slid my hand along the inside of her thigh before hitching her
leg over my arm and drawing it up over my hip. Her arms clamped around my shoulders
tightly, but the angle from our height difference was still wrong; I couldn’t enter her. In
another heated attempted to give her what she wanted, I grasped her luscious bottom in my
hands and lifted her, sliding her up between the cool rough tiles and my overheated body. I
stepped in so that we were pressed firmly together, sounds of approval flooding out of my
mouth as my hardness pressed against her heat.
“Oh God, yes Edward!” Bella cried as her head fell heavily back against the wet wall. “How
do you know to do this to me?” she exclaimed, making me smirk. A feeling of control and
power washed over me, fueling the strength I needed to hold her in this position.
“Finally, I have a reason to thank Emmett for torturing me with all his porn!” I murmured
into the skin of her neck as I put more force into a bite on her shoulder, amusement heavily
lacing my tone.
The water pounded down on my shoulders, tickling its way down my legs leaving an erotic
trail of sensation in its wake. It heightened the already incredible feeling of Bella pressed so
tight against me, making me shudder. She gasped and bucked her hips causing us to almost
line up, so I pressed in and twisted my hips before thrusting into her. We both sucked in
deep breaths of appreciation -- to be so filled and so embraced felt so good.
Keeping her braced against the wall, I began flexing up into her, the difference between
doing this lying down, was incredible, but also difficult as hell! I knew if I tried to keep this
up for long I would feel like I’d been through a meat grinder the following morning, and the
angle was awkward enough that I couldn’t be at all certain Bella would really enjoy herself.
I enjoyed another few moments of sucking the tantalizing moisture from her neck, doing my
best to rub up against where I knew she needed me most, I finally told Bella to “hang on,
Love.” Pulling her more securely into my arms, I peppered her neck with two more kisses
before I turned exited the shower. She giggled as I bumped the doors with my hip and
stepped out onto the fuzzy bath mat on the floor outside the stall. I squeezed her bottom in
playful retaliation, making her laugh some more.
Doing my best to support her and maintain our deep connection, I took a step closer to the
sink counter where a fluffy oversized hotel robe laid waiting.
“Grab it and throw it on the floor, Bella,” my voice so rough I barely recognized it as my own.
She stared at me for a moment, as full comprehension of what I had in mind dawned on
her. Her lips curled up in a wicked little smile, and a new glint lit her eyes as she began
gnawing on her bottom lip in decided determination. She wrapped one arm more securely
around my neck before flinging the soft garment to the floor.
Unable to postpone my desire to move within her, I dropped to my knees, leaning to spread
Bella out before me as I nestled myself between her thighs. Knowing our relocation had no
doubt cooled the flames of desire for her even more than for me, I began kissing her ear,
neck and chest in earnest while letting my hands trail extensively over her sides, thighs and
breasts, feeling a surge of adrenaline when I felt her breathing become urgent once again.
That was all it took for me to be fully “operational” again as well, and I gave a firm thrust
forward in celebration.
“Awhh, yes! More, Edward, please.”
“Your wish, my sweet,” I murmured in her ear, taking her succulent earlobe between my
teeth and suckling tenderly. Her noises were just so lovely. I couldn’t resist seeking them
out. Playing her body, coaxing out the music from within her, was so much more satisfying
than playing the piano. She was the melody and the words yet to be sung. I could only pray
I would get the opportunity to learn every nuance of her body and how to illicit each sultry
sound she could produce. Remembering another maneuver I’d seen, and always wondered
about, I began rolling my hips in a circular motion as I thrust.
“Oh, Bella!”
My grin was enormous as Bella’s hips bucked in response. It did throw off our rhythm for a
few moments, but we’d liked it enough to keep trying until we were able to synchronize our
movements. I noticed when I was at the top of my “arc” was when she made her most
appreciative noises and I filed that bit of information away for later.
Soon the buildup was getting too much for me. I needed her to come soon for I wasn’t going
to last. Reaching under her shoulder blades, I curled my fingers up over her shoulders from
behind and began kissing her deeply trying to convey just how passionate she made me feel,
just how much I had longed to be with her, and most importantly, just how grateful I was to
have the chance to make up for all the years I’d wasted being afraid. I started slow, but
made each thrust as long and deep as I could now that I had her anchored to me. She in
turn was clutching at my back her fingers driving me wild, but also providing a much-needed
distraction to keep me in the game just a little longer.
One piece of advice I committed to memory whilst perusing women’s magazines at the
grocery checkout line was that to truly please a woman a man must keep his mind in front so
his body didn’t go off too soon. So far it seemed to have worked well for us, though just
barely. All the new sensations felt so good, it took all I had not to just let go and sink into
the moment like I wanted. I tried refocus, concentrate on her gratification, but I couldn’t
help but speed up, my own pleasure mounting whether I willed it or not and I became
desperate for both our releases.
“Bella…you feel so good!” In another time and place I would have been mortified at the
needy whine of my voice, but I did have to admit it was a tone that conveyed just how tightly
strung I was and how much she gave to me.
“Edward! Yes, yes, yes, yes…”she chanted, her hips snapping up with added force, until she
wrapped her legs around my hips and I could feel her thighs began to tremble. Internally
and externally, the way she clamped so firmly around me was heavenly torture. I wasn’t
going to last.
“Oh, God!” I cried in agonized pleasure, and by way of apology as I felt the erratic pulse
heralding my own imminent climax. Hoping to at least give her a last moment of pleasure, I
thrust in one last time as deeply as I could and ground my pelvis against her clitoral bud, my
body twitching with the release of my orgasm, and rubbing my rough curls against her
sensitive node. She cried out and then arched sharply underneath me, her legs squeezing
me tightly.
I almost cried in relief as all the pent up tension left my body in waves. Beneath me Bella
hummed in delight -- it had been good for her after all.
I panted into her neck, doing my best not to collapse completely and crush her against the
hard floor.
My breathing soon regulated and my eyes focused to take in our surroundings. What the
hell was I thinking – or not thinking! How could I make love to an angel on a bathroom
floor! Withdrawing quickly, mindful not to let the condom spill, I pulled back to rest on my
heels and tossed the used barrier into the trash.
“Bella, I am so sorry. I…” Unable to adequately articulate my meaning, I scrambled to get to
my feet. Snagging the other bathrobe, I reached to help her up and wrapped the pure white
robe around her.
“You sure know how to show a girl a good time,” she mocked, but the slight smile tugging at
the corners of her lips let me know I was off the hook.
She was right, though. My plan for this weekend was to make her feel special, but so far our
time together had been mostly spent horizontal and naked! I needed to rectify my oversight
immediately.
“Bella, I realize this question is a bit overdue, but would you like to go on a date with me?”
Chapter 9: To Be or Not to Be
EPOV
“Are you sure we’re ready for such a big step?”
The straight look on Bella’s face bewildered me for a moment before my brain caught up and we
simultaneously burst into laughter. Part of me couldn’t help but notice the laughter had an edge of
stressfulness to it for some reason.
I took a guess at where that tension might be coming from…
“What would you suggest we do with the time we have left? It is Sunday. I imagine the princess will
turn into a pumpkin if she is not back to school by Monday?”
I saw her face drop for a second before recovering – I had guessed right.
“I would really enjoy hearing the symphony. Do you think we could arrange something with the
tickets we didn’t use last night?”
That was an impossibility…
“I’m sure we can. Why don’t you get ready, and I’ll run across to the ticketing office and make
arrangements for us to attend today’s afternoon concert.”
Concern clouded her face again.
“Oh, but I don’t have anything to wear. I wasn’t planning on staying more than one night.” She
ducked her head slightly to hide the slight innocent blushing of her cheeks.
The thought of Bella looking so exquisite in the dress I saw her in last night made my brain hum with
delight. This time though, she would be wearing it for me.
“I’d like to see you in the dress from last night. You looked lovely, really.”
My thoughts raced to her suitcase and the silky chemise that lie in waiting… I’d like to see that, too.
This one little renegade thought sent my mind reeling in the wrong direction: screw the symphony! I
wanted to guide her back to the bed where I could indulge in her clean skin, warmth, and scent.
There I could continue to pretend the world outside this room didn’t exist…
There I could continue to deny we would part today and what would happen then was unknown.
BPOV
Though Edward stood just inches from me, he definitely was somewhere else entirely. But before I
could ask where his mind was, he abruptly turned and practically fled from the bathroom, mumbling
something about returning shortly. He closed the door behind him leaving me alone in the steamy
bathroom.
What was that about?
Completely baffled, I nervously cracked open the door to peer out hoping for some clues to what had
driven him from the room so suddenly. I was unexpectedly treated to a most spectacular and
completely diverting sight!
Edward had crossed the room and shed his robe. With his back toward me, he was unaware of my
eager voyeurism. Shamelessly, my eyes moved from his broad naked shoulders, down the long lines
of his lean torso and came to rest on his deliciously firm ass – only to marvel at how it flexed
wondrously with his every move. I longed to sneak over and press myself against him and run my
hands over the smooth planes of his warm skin, but I held myself in check. It was too good a sight
and he seemed to really want to take me to the symphony. All too soon, though, he slipped into his
pants and pulled on a t-shirt before raking his fingers through his damp hair. Damn, he was sexy…
He disappeared around the corner to the entryway moments later, and I heard the front door click
shut.
I had to share this little miracle with someone!
Like a shot, I flew to my cell phone impatiently turning it on. I cringed. It was worse than I thought –
Alice had sent me fifty-six texts since I texted her from the elevator the night before. She was
definitely not happy. I had some explaining to do.
Dialing I waited through only one ring…
“BELLA!” Alice shouted. “Where the hell are you? I’ve been trying to reach you all night! Do you
have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
“I know, I know. I, um, wasn’t able to get to my phone, exactly. I’m really sorry.”
“Well, tell that to our RA. I just threatened his nuts and his life if he didn’t loan me his car so I could
drive over there and look for your missing ass!”
Alice’s zeal always made me laugh, but this time I muffled it. I had no doubt she was pissed off
enough to still drive down here and kick my butt up and down the hall for causing her so much
worry. Alice was small but fierce. Never piss off the Pixie!
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry. I will apologize properly to you both – when I get back.”
“’When?’ What’s going on, Bella?”
Perceptive as usual, Alice waited for the dirt – and I unloaded it – in one breath…
“Alice! It’s him! The guy I told you about from high school, Edward… He set this all up… he’s loaded!
And he was so romantic,” my thoughts skittered around like a water drop on a hot skillet. Dragging
them back to the important part, I continued, hoping Alice was keeping up, “He has a check for the
whole freakin’ amount, but I can’t take it now of course… oh God, Alice – my first time -- we did it!
Actually a couple times…”
“It is? He does? You did? Was he any good? What size condom did you use – you know, Bella, size
does count!”
“Alice!” I screamed, mortified as she laughed wickedly.
“So when can I meet him? When are you two hooking up again?”
“Um…” I flopped on my back on the cold rumpled bed. I hadn’t given the future too much thought.
“I – I don’t know,” my voice cracked a bit as insecurity flooded in.
“He left you hanging? Was this his idea of a one-night stand? He breezes in as the hero and then
moves on? Does he know how you felt about him? That rich stinking bastard!”
Her mood changed as fast as she spoke. If I wasn’t used to following her rapid fire questions I would
have been left reeling. Instead I was quick to jump to his defense.
“No! He’s not like that, I mean, I don’t think he is… he wouldn’t, would he? Oh God, Alice! What
have I done? I acted on instinct, totally caught in the moment. I thought with my messed-up heart
and not my head!”
“If you did it a couple times, Sweetie, it was more like you were thinking with your vajayjay,” Alice
snickered.
“It’s not funny! I put – everything – out there, and I don’t know anything about him. I mean I’m still
wallowing in mushy high school memories! Where does he live? What does he do? He probably has
a girlfriend! No guy this gorgeous exists without a girlfriend with three-inch talons for nails to keep
him close and other girls at bay!”
I was in full panic mode. I tried to remember our conversation from last night. Our heated,
emotional confessions about our screwed up choices in high school, but I couldn’t recall many of the
details. They were lost in the blur of repressed emotions, discarded clothing and… oh my…
My fantasy bubble burst with a cold snap of reality. I thought I might see my breakfast make a
reappearance from my stomach.
Sensing my distress, Alice coached me through the phone, “Bella, breathe, honey. Take it one step at
a time. Where are you now?”
“In bed.”
“Niiiiice”
“Not like that! I just had… er, a shower, and I’m supposed to be getting ready for the symphony.”
“I thought that was the plan for last night… Oh! I get it… niiiice.”
“Stop it, Alice! I’m freaking out here! I can’t lose him again. My heart couldn’t handle it. And the
money!” I smacked myself on the forehead, “Ugh! We haven’t discussed that either. Is Edward my
boyfriend or my benefactor? I’m just so confused. Alice, what would you do?” I couldn’t remember
ever sounding so plaintive.
“Just let him take the lead. See if he makes any plans to see you again, then you’ll know if he’s really
into you—or not.”
Oh, he was ‘into’ me. But was that all he wanted? To be the first... The conversation suddenly
became too much for me to handle at the moment.
“Alice, I’ve got to go. I’m supposed to be getting ready.”
“Okay, but promise you’ll stay in touch – and you are coming back to the dorm tonight, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll be home later…”
My thoughts raced, and I hung up without saying goodbye. I hated feeling insecure, but successful
relationships with guys had always eluded me. Hell, Edward was a perfect example of that!
“Damn it!”
I jumped up out of the bed and immured myself in the bathroom intent on pushing my insecurities
aside and preparing for a nice afternoon. One look at my hair in the mirror, which looked most
suitable as a nest for birds, and I knew I’d have to shower again. Maybe the hot water would provide
some clarity on the subject… or at least a few pleasant equally heated memories.
EPOV
As soon as I left the room, I knew I wanted to take the stairs. I was wound tight and grateful for an
excuse to clear my head. It appeared space away from Bella was the only way I could achieve that
goal. Amazingly, she had the power to make me see clearly and yet completely be my undoing at the
same time.
This was insane.
In less than twenty-four hours not only was Bella back in my life, but I had offered to pay her a half a
million dollars, then pissed her off completely, and still managed to sleep with her -- twice! Oh, and
don’t forget getting buzzed the next morning and screwing her on the floor of the bathroom. What
the fuck am I doing?!
Messing things up, obviously…
My feet moved me quickly down the stairwells and out a back door of the hotel. As soon as the light
of morning hit me, I grabbed my phone. Carlisle would help me figure out what to do…
“Hello, Edward.”
“Hey, Dad, um, so how’s your day?”
“It’s 11am, so not too much has gone wrong yet. You?”
“I’m fine I guess.”
Then he laughed, “Edward, you suck at small talk. What is it you need?”
“I gave Bella the money last night.”
“And?”
“She’s reluctant to take it.”
“You knew she would be.”
“How can I convince her to take it? It's so important she stay in school like she planned. Believe me,
I know how really important that is to her. It would make her happy.”
“And you want very much for her to be happy, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“You told me you have feelings for her. How does she feel about you?”
“Um, do actions speak louder than words?”
“Most times.”
“Then I think she really likes me.”
“So maybe she doesn’t want to take the money because she doesn’t want to mix owing money with
a romantic relationship. She cares about you and wants to show you the money doesn’t matter.”
“So maybe it’s either the money or me – not both.”
“Could be. But you’ll have to talk honestly with her to find out.”
“Even if I know the better choice?”
“Better for whom?
“Thanks, Dad. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“You do that.”
“Bye.”
I snapped my phone shut already lost in thought.
Bella was willing to give away her virginity to stay in school… with a stranger she was willing to
sacrifice her most private self. Her education meant that much to her. I couldn't possibly stand
between her and what obviously meant so much to her. I wouldn’t be that selfish.
As much as it hurt, I knew what I needed to do: continue to protect her just as had been my mission
from the start of this venture.
It would have to be the money instead of me. I fought to breathe as I crossed the street.
* * * *
BPOV
Edward was gone for a long time.
When he finally returned, I was ready and waiting in the main room. The look on his face when he
flew into the room was priceless; I won’t ever forget it. His eyes moved quickly from first noticing me
sitting, not so patiently, in a chair, to soaking me in all the way down to my feet and slowly back up
my crossed legs before returning to my face. I flushed, feeling my breathing increase from being so
thoroughly scrutinized. His crooked smile said it all -- he was so mine! My heart soared.
“I’ve missed you. You were gone quite a while. Was there a problem with the tickets?”
“Uh, no, no problem with the tickets. I –“ His smile vanished, and I swear I saw him bite his lower
lip. “I just… had a few voicemails I had to follow up on, that’s all. It looks like you are all set to go.
Just give me a few minutes to get dressed.” He rubbed his fingers over his incredibly sexy scruffy
chin. “And get in a quick shave.”
He held up a generic shave kit he must have snagged from the front desk and retreated into the
bedroom, leaving me with my brow furrowed once again in confusion and feeling very uneasy. The
energy around him had changed significantly. Had I done something wrong? My thoughts ran in
circles as I waited for him.
After twenty minutes he reemerged looking just as handsome as he did last night.
“We’ll have to check out. Are you packed?” he asked without glancing in my direction. My stomach
tightened. I hadn’t thought about leaving. I should have. Did I really believe I could stay here with
him forever? I wanted to. It had felt so comfortable…
“Oh, um, check out. Right,” I stuttered standing up quickly. His mannerisms were so business-like
they caught me off guard. “It should only take me a minute. I didn’t bring much…”
I moved past him hastily, my heels clicking loudly on the hardwood floors.
I headed straight to the bathroom, sliding past the ironing board and iron he had set up. I rapidly
shoved all my toiletries back in their small travel bag and gathered the rest of my belongings from
the bedroom, before tossing them into my waiting suitcase. When I came back into the main room,
Edward greeted me in the foyer.
“Let me take those for you,” he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“No, that’s okay, I’ve got them.” Suddenly, I felt the overwhelming need to protect myself. I tightly
clutched the handle of my bag when he reached for it.
“Do you want me to call the front desk and have the bellman pack them in your car for you?”
I nodded, though I didn’t want to explain I didn’t own a car either. I didn’t want to give him yet
another reason to see just how unworthy of him I was. Things had suddenly become uncertain
enough as it was.
He looked at his watch. “Okay, we have a few minutes to spare before we need to leave.”
He purposefully moved to the phone and dialed. His words were drowned out by my worried
thoughts -- something had changed.
Almost immediately, the bellman knocked on the door. I described my car and handed him the keys
while Edward tipped him graciously. I was advised my keys -- Alice’s keys-- would be available at the
front desk for retrieval upon my final departure.
“Shall we go?” Edward asked holding out his arm and producing two concert tickets from his breast
pocket. His chivalrous behavior evoked a hot rush of blood to my cheeks. Maybe we were okay after
all. He’s just as nervous as I am. Right? He smiled as I again nodded and took his arm.
We engaged in small talk as we crossed the street and walked the short distance to Benaroya Hall.
“What are we going to be hearing at the concert?” I inquired a bit nervously.
“Rhapsody in Blue composed by George Gershwin. You seem to have chosen the appropriate dress
for the occasion. You are definitely a rhapsody in blue, Bella.”
I could feel the blush rise in my cheeks again and I distractedly smoothed my dress. I’d never been
one to particularly care for compliments, but from Edward, they felt different. For the moment, I had
to admit even to myself we were quite the handsome pair. “Thank you, Edward. You look very
dashing yourself.”
We entered the hotel lobby as the elevator doors parted and immediately caught the interested eyes
of many faces. The feeling was surreal. I clung a little closer to Edward’s side, uncomfortable with
the attention.
“Have you been to a symphony before?” Edward asked.
The blush remained on my cheeks, but this time it was due to my inadequate experience with the
arts.
“No. I haven’t.”
“May I give some background on the music we will be hearing today?”
“Yes, please,” I urged, happy for the distraction and conversation. I listened as his velvet voice
educated me on the sounds I would soon be experiencing shortly.
“Rhapsody in Blue was composed at the piano by George Gershwin in 1924 for solo piano and jazz
band. It combines elements of
-influenced effects. Gershwin had very limited
time to compose the piece, and on a train journey to
the ideas of Rhapsody in Blue came to
his mind. I guess there was something about the steely rhythms of the train on the tracks, he felt he
heard music in the very heart of the noise... and before him was the complete construction of the
Rhapsody, from beginning to end. He saw it as a sort of musical kaleidoscope of America, of our vast
melting pot, of our unduplicated national pep, of our blues, our metropolitan madness.”
Edward spoke so movingly I was quickly swept up in his enthusiasm and before long it jogged my
memory. “You played piano in high school.”
“I still do.”
I filed that tidbit away for further consideration and continued on with another line of thought, “So
why ‘Rhapsody in Blue’? Where did the title come from?”
Edward laughed, “Inspiration comes from the most unexpected places. Gershwin had named it
American Rhapsody during composition, but the title Rhapsody in Blue was suggested after his
brother had visited a gallery exhibition of
colors in their titles. Did you know Arrangement in Gray and Black was the original title for the
painting more commonly known as
“I had no idea,” I truthfully mumbled.
By this time we had arrived at the hall. Last night its surfaces of clear and frosted glass gave the
effect of a giant lantern illuminating the streetscape, but it was almost as stunning now as it
shimmered in the daylight.
We strolled past the ticket office, small shops, a cafe, and a coffee shop awaiting the call to be
seated. Edward purchased a glossy program for me from a nearby vendor.
An usher escorted us to our magnificent seats; box seating along the side walls oriented toward the
stage. I sat down nestling my clutch and keepsake program next to me. As I gazed around me, I
couldn’t help but feel energized by the hall’s beauty and detailed construction.
Edward seemed to understand what I was feeling. He pointed and began to explain the intricacies of
my surroundings.
“The hall's traditional shape is faceted and coffered to provide excellent acoustics and diffuse sound
effectively. Orchestral performances require long reverberation times, which require surfaces that
are heavy and dense to reflect sound and absorb as little as possible. The wood paneling on the walls
is subdivided into smaller panels, each one a different size so that each one resonates with a
different frequency of sound. The physics of the acoustical design is an important part of the
architecture. In addition, distractions such as earth-borne rumbles from surrounding streets, the
transit tunnel, or the railroad tunnel below the site have been eliminated by building the hall as a box
within a box, with the inner concrete box completely supported on rubber pads.”
“You know so much about this place. Do you come here often?”
“As often as I can. One day, if I’m lucky, I’ll be more than just an observer –“
Edward was interrupted as the orchestra began to warm up. An instrument I recognized as an oboe
set the pitch for the other instruments. The lights dimmed. Edward helped me remove my wrap and
settled into his seat – I felt him squeeze my hand. It felt so right. My earlier qualms were quieted as
I settled in for a perfect afternoon’s musical adventure.
EPOV
I was pleased Bella appeared to enjoy the music.
We spoke little during the concert, but I enjoyed holding her warm hand. It felt so right in my own as
I attempted to every aspect of it away for future reference.
At intermission, we stepped into the elaborate lobby and navigated our way through the crowd to a
small counter-height table at the coffee shop for a latte. When Bella stepped away to use the ladies
room, I slipped the check into her purse. She returned just at the sound of the bell summoning us
back to our seats.
As we waited for the second half of the concert to begin, I resisted the urge to take her hand in
mine. What I had to do after the concert would not be easy as it was, and I didn’t want to send her
any more misleading messages. I had to make it a clean break, like ripping off a band-aid. The music
around me became monotone and colorless as I tried to block out the sick feeling now filling my
chest. The thought of letting her go was slowly drowning me, and I found it difficult to breathe. Bella
glanced in my direction, but I shifted in my seat to hide my expression in the shadows of the
darkened hall.
When the music ended, all my feelings from that day in the hallway in high school returned ten-fold.
I fought with all my strength to keep the same tortured expression off my face this time.
The polite applause lasted several minutes before the lights rose in the hall. Stiffly, I rose from my
seat. I helped Bella with her belongings, and we lined up wordlessly with the rest of the audience in
a slow exit to the street.
Once outside the hall, Bella asked, “Did you enjoy the concert?”
“Yes, I did. Did you?”
“I liked it very much. I think I would like to come again sometime.”
She smiled hopefully, and the knife in my gut twisted, “Why don’t we grab a bite before we go? Um,
my treat?” her voice shook slightly as she spoke. Suddenly she seemed so small and fragile as she
looked up at me.
“Bella, I would really love to do that, but I have somewhere I really need to be today... And the drive
back and all…”
The glint of hope began to fade from her eyes, and the knife inched deeper.
“Oh, yes, of course. I really do need to get back, too. My roommate is beside herself with me being
gone so long -- presumably with a stranger.” She laughed nervously and sucked her bottom lip in
between her teeth before shifting her weight from leg to the other.
This was torture to watch. I needed to just rip off the final piece…
“Okay, well, I wanted to give you this phone number,” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a
business card and handed it to Bella.
Her eyes lit up until she read the card, then her brow furrowed. “Who is Daniel Marks?”
Chapter 10: Best Laid Plans
BPOV
“Daniel Marks is my family’s accountant. I know you are hesitant to take the money, Bella,
so I thought if you contact Dan, he’ll be able to help you invest the money. Who knows,
maybe you can use just the interest or dividends to pay your tuition. So you really wouldn’t
be spending the money – just borrowing it.”
At first I stood speechless staring at him until I finally I found my voice, “You want me to call
your accountant?”
“Yes. I know how important staying in school is to you.”
“Other things are important to me too, Edward.”
“I know. But this is your priority. The check is in your purse.”
“I never agreed to take your money. We need to talk about this...” Somehow, I needed
more time with him! It couldn’t end like this. Not again.
“We made a deal. We both met the terms of that deal. There’s nothing more to discuss.”
“And that’s it?” I blurted out in anger. “I promised a night of sex, and you promised a half a
million. So now do we shake hands as if this was just a business deal and go on with our
separate lives? Is that all this was to you?”
“Bella, please…”
“No, no. That’s fine. My mistake.”
The rage I felt inside over my foolishness and the sudden rush of shame made me light-
headed. My breathing quickened and I feared tears would betray my childish hopes. I
feigned interest in the brickwork beneath my feet.
Edward never made any promises except to honor his commitment – paying for my
schooling.
“Bella, I’m sorry. But if you want to make me happy, you’ll take the money and use it.”
“You’re sorry?” I huffed finally tapping into the burning fury underneath my humiliation. My
head snapped up so I could look into his eyes. “You know, you’re right. I will use the
money. I’ve earned it, haven’t I?”
My words struck him like a slap in the face. “Bella, it’s not like that…”
“Then what, Edward? Tell me!” I could feel the tears were threatening to fall.
“This is the best decision, that’s all.” He leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss on my
forehead. My heart dropped into my shoes and melted.
“Goodbye, Bella.”
And with that he turned and strode away. He never once looked back.
APOV
It was dark before Bella finally came through the door, with bare feet and red, swollen eyes.
She looked like hell had chewed her up and spat her out … and then stomped on her for
good measure.
In one hand she held the clutch I let her borrow and the heels she had carefully chosen, in
the other she dragged her suitcase behind her.
“Bella, my God, what happened to you?” I rushed over and took everything from her hands.
“I’m so glad to see you, Alice,” she tried to smile, but her chin began to quiver and her voice
cracked, “It happened again...”
Before I could ask for clarification, Bella burst into tears.
“Oh, Bella!” Dropping the stuff on the floor, I wrapped my arms around her as she clung to
me and sobbed uncontrollably.
We stood like this for several minutes in the middle of our room before Bella’s breathing
finally slowed enough for me to lead her over to my bed. We sat quietly on the edge until
Bella spoke between sniffles.
“It was so wonderful. He was so wonderful. But I guess it was only about the one night after
all.”
Bella got up and retrieved my clutch. She fished through it and pulled out a business card
and a check. “This was all he wanted to give to me.” She placed the items in my lap.
“Bella, this really looks like it’s a real check!” I held it up to the light in disbelief. “You had
great sex with a hot guy and came home with a half a million dollars! I understand you
wanted to keep the guy too, but, Baby, you ended up doing quite well.”
But my “look at the bright side” pep talk didn’t have the effect I hoped it would.
“I think I would have fared better if my bidder had been anyone else. Even a creepy
stranger.”
“Bella, I’m sorry, I just don’t understand.”
“Let me show you.” She went to her footlocker and began rummaging through her personal
effects. Bella loved memories, and it appeared she brought most of them with her to
college. She gingerly pulled out a piece of paper that looked as if it had been crumpled up
and then smoothed out again before being handled repeatedly.
“Remember I told you about the guy from high school that time you and I played truth or
dare. You asked me my biggest regret, and I told you about Edward, how I knew there was
something special about him but my pride got in the way.
“Yes, I remember.”
“I didn’t tell you the whole story. He wrote me this letter. But when my friend’s made fun
of it, I played it off and balled it up and tossed it in my locker. I believe Edward saw me do it,
and I never had the fucking guts to find out for sure, apologize and tell him how I felt. I let
him think I didn’t care to save face. How pathetic is that? Karma’s a real bitch.”
Taking the letter from her I skipped through the gooey prose, but read the final paragraph
out loud:
“Bella, love is a constant guide to us as we move through life, but we can't really see its true
value even if we could quantify love somehow. Love doesn't vary with time; it stays constant
even until death. If I am wrong about love, then I never felt anything worthwhile…and
nobody has been in love. So are my feelings for you.
E.
“Wow,” I exhaled heavily. “This guy is in love with you big time.”
“Was... then. Not now. Not anymore.”
“I don’t believe that, Bella. No one writes something like this and then changes his mind.”
“People fall out of love all the time, Alice. My parents did. Maybe Edward just thought he
still loved me, but then realized he didn’t feel the same once we were together.”
“But look, Bella, he showed up again when you needed him most. He found you and came
to the rescue.” I waved the check for effect. “That’s love in my book.”
“They why did I only get Daniel Marks’ phone number?”
“I don’t know. I guess that part doesn’t make sense,” I conceded to her logic but wouldn’t
give up the cause. “When you -- you know -- made love, what did your heart tell you? Did it
seem like he was just after a one-nighter?”
“No, Alice. It felt so real. So forever.” Bella flopped backwards on the bed and covered her
face with her hands. “Ugh! That’s why this stings so much. Why am I so fucked up? How
could I have so badly misunderstood his intentions?”
“You have to ask him, Bella. You deserve an answer!”
“How?”
“Well, what do you know about him? There has to be some way you can reach him.”
“I know where his family lives.”
“Okay, so call there.”
“And say what? ‘Hello, Edward’s dad, do you know why your adopted son screwed me so
passionately my toes curled and then left me with a half a million for school expenses
instead of his phone number?’”
“No, I don’t think you should say that, but you could ask his dad for a cell number reach
Edward.”
“Edward told his dad I needed money. What if his dad wants details… I’m not ready to
discuss that. Hell, I don’t even have the answers anyway.”
“We’ll figure this out, Bella. Somehow, okay?”
She looked at me and smiled kindly, “Thanks, Alice. You’re the best. But I don’t want to talk
about anymore. I think I’ll just climb in bed and try to shut my brain off.”
“I get it. No problem. I hope you sleep well, Bella.”
“Oh, Alice, one more thing.” She sat up, snagging my clutch. Turning it over she
unceremoniously dumped the contents on my bed. About a dozen and a half condoms
plopped into a messy pile. “I won’t need these again for quite some time. You may as well
enjoy them before they expire… or whatever.”
She stood up and handed me my empty purse before stripping off her dress as she headed
to her bed. “You can have that too, if it doesn’t fall off your minuscule body. I don’t ever
want to see it again.” Snapping off the light, Bella threw on her ratty PJs and climbed into
bed without another word – but she sniffled long into the night, and my heart just broke for
my friend…
* * * *
The next morning Bella slept through my preparations for work and classes. She was still
sleeping when I left.
The cloudy, overcast day matched my mood, and I didn’t try to hide my scowl from anyone
who passed me.
As I walked to work at the coffee shop where I worked pouring too many trendy, overpriced
lattes, cappuccinos and espressos to privileged and deprived college kids alike, I hoped no
one wanted to engage me in chipper Monday morning prattle.
Truly, I hated waitress work, but the shop was ideally located smack-dab between two
neighboring elite schools: Seattle University and Cornish School of the Arts. Two private
schools located just one and a half miles apart meant the tips were worth the torture.
As I tied on my apron, I dismissed the thought of making good tips on this shift though.
Today, I just wanted to make it through without biting someone’s head off – because
someone’s head needed to roll for the way my Bella was hurting. If I only could get my
hands on that fucker who --
“Morning, Pixie Stick,” came an oddly monotone, grumbling voice as gray as the day.
My eyes focused on the face in front of me sitting at the counter. His was probably the only
face I didn’t mind seeing. My favorite regular customer…
“Morning Maestro, what will it be today?”
“Got anything with a stiff shot of alcohol in it?”
“Only if a pour of Irish Coffee syrup in your usual is your bidding.”
“Don’t mention bidding,” he scowled.
“What crawled up your ass and died? You look like hell.” I quipped as I served him his usual
skinny latte.
“Do you think it’s possible to have the best weekend and the worst weekend of your life at
the same time?”
“Huh, I would have said no if it hadn’t been for what my roommate experienced this
weekend. What happened to you?” Just for shits and giggles, I wanted to know if it could
compare to Bella’s wretched experience.
“Eh, never mind. It’s too depressing. How was your weekend? Found a new boyfriend
yet?”
“Not unless you’re asking me out, Maestro.” I toyed with him, still planning to drag his
miserable story out of him. Maybe I could secure some fodder that might make Bella feel
her weekend wasn’t the complete shittiest out there.
“Trust me, you would not want me for a boyfriend. I don’t have a heart. It’s always been
hers. And this time I was so close. So close. But maybe after graduation… if she hasn’t
found someone else by then… fuck me!”
He dropped his head on the counter with a pathetic thump, drawing curious looks from a
few patrons.
“Dude, that’s just unsanitary,” I grumbled, looking down at the back of his unkempt bronze-
colored head.
“Sorry,” he mumbled into the counter.
“Just spill it! What happened?” Now I was getting frustrated. Fine to be so mysterious, but
if he wasn’t going to tell me, I wished he’d just move on. I could only comfort one person a
day, and today wasn’t his day. And tomorrow didn’t look very promising either…
“You really want to know?” His head popped up, and I saw a wild desperation in his eyes.
“Yeah, I really want to know.” And I did -- especially now that my curiosity was piqued.
“I fell hard for this girl in high school. She was smart, sweet and beautiful in a simple kind of
way. It just felt good to be around her, you know. But when I declared my feelings for her in
a letter, she chucked it. That was the first time I lost my heart to her.
“Then this weekend, I made, um, arrangements to see her again – Fairmount hotel, night at
the symphony and, oh, you’re gonna love this, I shelled out insane cash from my trust fund
to pay for her schooling! I was pulling out all the stops to show her again how I truly felt…”
The blood drained from my head all the way to my toes like the rush of a clogged sink finally
breaking lose, complete with the sucking sound at the end. My jaw dropped open as my
blood figuratively spilled out my feet even as he continued babbling on without noticing the
change in my expression.
“...and I did it! I finally told her. To her face this time. She told me the whole tossed out
letter was a mistake, and she had feelings for me too. And then we, well, that’s private, but
it was glorious.”
I just couldn’t hold back anymore… “But you left her?”
“I had to! I didn’t think she’d take the money for school if I stayed connected to it. And trust
me, after the stunt she tried pulling, she must really want to stay in school. I didn’t want her
to have to choose between me and the money,” he shrugged. “So the white knight gave
away his heart and fell on his sword, Pixie Stick. And that’s my massive sob story.”
I paused for effect and then added…
“That is the stupidest, most pig-headed, lame excuse I have ever heard for breaking a girl’s
heart! EVER!” I exclaimed, maybe a bit too loudly, provoked by emotion yet careful to not
reveal my “Bella connection”.
“What?”
“Do you really think that B – that girl – would rather have your money than you? If she loves
you, don’t you think that is more important?”
“She didn’t say she loved me.” He looked totally bewildered by my somewhat exuberant
outburst.
“But she does!”
“How – how do you know?”
“Okay," I sputtered, "then how about this, what if she does? What if she told you she loves
you – then would you let her keep the money and your dim-witted ass?” I was practically
begging even as I berated him…
He scratched his head looking at me like I had totally lost my mind. “Only if I knew she’d
keep the money and stay in school, I guess.”
“Great! Okay, then there’s hope, isn’t there?” I cheered.
“How many cups have you had today, Pixie Stick?” He backed away from the counter tossing
a ten spot on the counter. “I’ve got to go. Nice, um, talking to you…”
He turned for the door.
“Wait! Edward!” I shouted over the hubbub of the shop at his retreating form before
cringing for using his name. I had never asked for it in all the time I had known him as a
customer.
He turned, shooting me a confused look.
“Will you be back tomorrow?”
“Probably.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” he shrugged as he left.
Somehow fate had dealt me two separated pieces of a whole -- entrusting me to somehow fit
them back together – the sooner the better…
Unfortunately, I didn’t see Maestro – Edward—the rest of the week, which put a total crimp
in my plans. I needed to find him. From our conversations over serving his coffee, I knew he
was a classical piano student at Cornish, and figured finding him would be a snap if I could
get his last name out of Bella. But every time I tried to bring him up in casual conversation,
Bella refused to even speak his name. She tried to tell me she was “doing fine” and had
accepted she and “her free-ride” weren’t meant to be, and that he had probably gone back
to his girlfriend.
I let her think she was fooling me. She didn’t know I heard her quietly crying at night or
notice she was losing weight, too. The only thing not suffering was her studies. She had
dove headlong into her books and spent every waking moment committed to school work.
Out of desperation, I skipped classes on Friday and spent the afternoon inquiring at the
musical performance buildings at Cornish for Edward, purposely seeking out students of the
female persuasion…
Finally, I hit pay dirt at Raisbeck Performance Hall. A slender blonde’s eye glinted at the
mention of Edward’s name and description. Wearing a pair of painful looking stilettos she
was about a foot taller than me, and I doubted the authenticity of her barely contained…
upfront assets.
“Yes, I know Edward. But I haven’t seen him around lately. Which is so not good. He has an
important audition for the classical ensemble coming up soon. It’s rare for someone still in
freshman year to even get an audition. Missing all this rehearsal time – he’s gonna screw
himself right out of a once in a lifetime opportunity to get noticed and really have a shot at
something special.”
She eyed me warily. “Are you his girlfriend or something?”
Me-ow!
“Just a good friend and I haven’t seen him either. I was concerned.” I grasped at straws for
more information. “Do you know where I could find him, you know, to check to see if he’s
alright?”
“No, but his roommate Emmett is in the Drama Program. You can usually find him at Nick’s
Bar on Friday nights hamming it up on amateur night. You can’t miss him – he’s as big as a
bear and almost as easy on the eyes as Edward… but not as talented.” She winked before
she sauntered away, leaving me to contemplate the true meaning behind her last statement.
“Thanks, Barbie,” I muttered under my breath.
I had succeeded in finding a lead to Edward, if not finding Edward himself. At least I hoped I
had as I planned my attire for my evening at Nick’s Bar.
True to her new routine, Bella was spending Friday night at the library, so I didn’t have to
worry about making up some excuse as to where I was going. As soon as she left, I pulled on
a pair of black leggings, knee-high boots, and a long shirt cinched at the waist before making
the short drive just off campus to Nick’s bar.
Nick’s was a rathskeller with a hippie feel to it. It was dark, wooden and had a bit of a musty
smell – a combination of cheap beer, which was sold by the bucket, and the dampness of
being located in a basement.
Hoping Bosomy Barbie’s words would lead me in the right direction, I sat at the bar, ordered
a drink, and began my survey for a guy in his late teens or early 20’s who was good-looking
and resembled a bear. There were several large men milling about the dimly lit, somewhat
crowded space, but once the host announced the start of “open-mic” night, I crossed my
fingers my prey would soon reveal himself.
I sat through an acoustical rendition of “Puff the Magic Dragon” that I truly believed would
make my ears bleed and then cringed through two beatnik poetry readings before I saw the
sight of my life. There in front of the microphone stood a gorgeous, dark-haired, blue-eyed
masterpiece of a man. He was slightly more than six feet tall, wide as a football linebacker,
and sported a fine sculpted muscular build.
He was almost hot enough to pull off the ridiculous costume he wore: an oversized red
puffy shirt, matching feathered hat and -- oh no he didn't -- dark purple tights under his
getup!
He tapped the microphone amidst the hoots and whistles, obviously undeterred by the
audience’s behavior. I turned in my stool to face him and grinned. This was going to be
interesting to say the least…
Clearing his throat loudly, the noise in the room settled.
“Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II…
"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.”
At this point he looked dramatically into the audience before stepping among the patrons as
the spotlight followed him about the room. At last he stopped in front of a leggy red-head
dressed in a short tight dress. He took her hand and led her to back to mic and then got
down on one knee before her and continued…
“It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!”
“Oh, brother,” I groaned as I forecasted the inevitable.
What a ham.
The extra-large orator placed a kiss on the blushing girl’s hand, rose from his knee, and with
feigned hesitancy, reached to touch her cheek before the spotlight faded to black.
What a player.
Then my stomach flipped and I felt my eyes widen. Good-looking, larger-than-life, talented
in a way Barbie would appreciate... yep, all the qualities were there before my eyes. This
had to be the guy I was looking for! This had to be Emmett.
By the time the lights rose and applause morphed into chatter, Emmett was already guiding
his “victim” to the bar for a drink. As a psychology major, I was more than willing to sit back
and observe the time-honored mating ritual these two were about to engage in, but I had
more pressing matters to tend to – a weepy roommate and a depressed customer who need
a major intervention.
Downing the last gulp of my second Sloe Gin Fizz, I moved down the bar to find out if
Edward's hulk of a roommate was someone I could consider a useful ally or just another
pretty wanker.
Standing close to him, I truly appreciated his height. Raising my voice over the din, I called
up to him, "Hey, Romeo. Got a minute?"
He turned. "Did you hear something?" he questioned out loud, as his eyes searched the
room over the top of my head.
"Very funny," I rolled my eyes at the joke that lost its appeal years ago.
"Oh!" he exclaimed as he looked down. "It's a little person! I thought I heard a scene from
The Wizard of Oz was being done tonight."
"I'm not a munchkin, you titan in tights. They have no fashion sense."
He eyed me quizzically and then cracked a smile. "Can I help you, little lady?"
"Are you the Emmett with a very pitifully depressed martyr of a roommate?"
His eyes popped. "Yeah. You know something about how he got that way?" He raised an
eyebrow at me inquiringly.
It appeared he was involved...
"I think he's in love with my roommate."
"You don't say? Well, you know more than I do. But I can tell you, it's been hell living with
him. He's like a slow-rotting tomato, just oozing all over the place. Won't say why, but it's
obvious it has to do with a chick. It's pathetic really. He's usually just uptight -- you know, I'd
actually prefer that to what I've got now."
"Good, then are you willing to help me get them together, because my roommate is just as
oozingly pathetic." I was more than grateful to have another mind to brainstorm with.
"Can I buy you a drink?" He offered, much to the displeasure of the red-head he had been
wooing just moments ago.
"Sure."
After ordering us both a Bud Light, I followed him to a recently vacated table.
"So, tell me about your roommate," he said handing me my beer while taking a long swig
from his bottle.
"Her name is Bella. She and Edward apparently had a crush on each other in high school, but
nothing ever came of it."
"Not surprised. Edward seems out of touch with the whole dating scene. He's one of those
brilliant brooding musical types, mostly keeps to himself."
"Well, he must be a really nice guy. He actually saved Bella from auctioning her virginity for
college tuition..."
Oops, maybe I shouldn't have…
Emmett choked on his beer -- I even think some of it actually shot out of his nose before he
began howling in laughter, "That son-of-a-bitch!"
He started laughing harder.
"Um, could you let me in on the inside joke here?" I demanded, not finding humor in the
situation.
"Oh, little one..."
"My name is Alice," I corrected him.
"Alice," he managed to get out between wails. "I showed Edward that posting weeks ago.
You mean to tell me that was his long lost high school sweetheart? I thought I saw
something in his eyes! Oh, that tricky bastard. He finally got laid!"
"Ha, ha. Now could you please contain yourself," I was starting to get frustrated -- and Bella
was going to kill me for spilling the embarrassing beans.
"Sure, sure. I'm sorry, Alice," he began catching his breath as he held his sides. "Really. This
is just too weird. So let me get this straight, Edward bid on your roommate's virginity and
won?"
"Yes. But he didn't say who he was until he saw her. To make a long story short, it sounded
to her like he did it to protect her and to help her with school, which sounds like love to me.
She thought they were going to finally be a couple, but then he left. She's a damn wreck
because she loves him. Just by coincidence, he happens to be customer at my coffee shop,
but I didn't know his name until he told me the whole ridiculous story how he left this girl
because he didn't think she'd take the money for school if they were together. I put two and
two together."
"Well, it sure sounds like Edward's fucked-up, convoluted thinking,” he nodded then
shrugged.
For a full minute I watched him ponder the situation. Then with a shit-ass grin he began
rubbing his monstrous hands together enthusiastically, looked at me and with mischief in his
voice said, "So how do you propose we get our star-crossed lovers back together?"
Chapter 11: Charge of the Cavalry
EmPOV
Alice began talking... and talking... she was gesticulating wildly, and I knew I had a shit-ass
grin on my face. However, probably not for the reason she thought. I was actually picturing
virginal Eddie getting laid. Well, not in full detail… that would just be weird. I was sure his
tendency to over-think everything led him to scheme up some elaborate plan that was way
too complicated to go smoothly. Alice was probably going to be proof of that fact. When
was he ever gonna give up and just K.I.S.S -- keep it simple, shithead?
"Well? Hello? Is the air too thin up there, Romeo?"
"What?" My eyes refocused on her diminutive face, her crystal blue eyes riveted on me.
She huffed, "What are your ideas for getting Bella and Edward together? Between his
rampant martyrdom and her staunch denial, it should be quite a challenge to get them on
the same page."
"Don't you have a plan?"
"No, I don't -- why do you think I needed you?" She stated it as if it was a simple conclusion -
- the unspoken "duh!" might as well have been a neon sign blinking above her head.
"Well, all I know is we better act fast. Eddie has always been prone to moodiness, but he's
been sinking pretty damn low in depression lately. So low in fact, he has some big tryout
tonight, and I can’t see how it could possibly go well... he hasn’t been able to focus on
anything lately.
"WHAT?"
My, but she was excitable!
"What?"
"The audition is tonight!" she shrieked.
"You know about that?"
"Some silicone-bimbo told me about it, and how important it was, but I didn’t know it was
tonight! Hold up! What the hell are you doing here and not there supporting him -- what
kind of roommate are you?"
"What color was the girl's hair?"
"Never mind the bitch! What excuse do you have for yourself?"
Yes, she was very excitable. And kind of feisty...
"Well?" She glared at me with her hands on her hips waiting for a reasonable excuse.
"I'm not his roommate, well, not just his roommate; Edward is my brother by adoption."
The withering look Alice gave me immediately let me know I had indeed just stepped in it -
deep. Time for some serious shoe scraping…
"Hey, he told me not to go. He said he didn't want me to witness his major ‘crash and burn’.
I'm a guy -- I respected that, okay!"
She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Wrong choice?" I asked.
"Yeah, wrong choice," she stated flatly.
"Well, what do you suggest, missy?"
"It's Alice. And I think it's obvious what we need to do -- we've got to get Bella to that
audition right now! Maybe…” She got sidetracked in thought without losing an iota of the
frenetic energy surrounding her, “maybe if he sees her there, he will be able to concentrate
and pull off his performance!” Her gaze cleared, “That’s it! She will be his inspiration!"
"And then they'll live happily-ever-after? Seriously? That's your plan?"
"You got a better idea, Romeo?
"It's Emmett." Two can play that game...
"What time is his audition, Emmett?
I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. "In one hour."
In a speed that was almost inhuman, she was up out of her chair and racing to the door.
Seriously, I blinked and almost missed it. Damn.
"Hey! Wait up!" I jumped up to take off after her only pausing to slug down the rest of my
beer -- and hers.
Dashing out the door, I searched up and down the street. Fortunately, her short legs
couldn’t get her too far ahead of me, and I quickly spotted her crossing in front of several
honking cars. "Alice, wait up!" I ran to catch up to her.
"Get in," she ordered as the car ahead of us bleeped and the headlights flashed.
"In that?" She did not really think...?
Alice slid in and the car engine sprang to life. She lowered her window and widened her
eyes at me as I stood in the street. "Well?"
This time I gave her the withering look. “Yeah, I don’t do clown car. The tights say Romeo,
not Bozo!”
Confusion crossed her face for a split second, and then she rolled her eyes. “It’s a Ford
Fiesta. It may be small, but it is no clown car! Now take off that goddamn frilly hat and
squeeze your ass in here! We don't have time for this!"
Somehow I knew I would regret my actions, but tossed my hat in the back and folded myself
in anyway. As soon as my door shut, she hit the gas. The car was so unresponsive I checked
the rear-view mirror to see how big a trench we were digging behind us certain we were
dragging the ass-end.
"Where are we going? I'm not exactly dressed for general public consumption." Internally I
cursed my impulsive decision to dress-the-part tonight.
"We're going to get Bella at the library and then beat feet over to Raisbeck Hall."
She didn't take her eyes off the road as she wove her obnoxiously yellow, subcompact car in
and out of traffic, apparently trying to set a new metro land speed record. The intense look
of determination on her small face made me laugh. She punched me in the chest.
Damn, a woman who could drive and get physical all at once! I rubbed my chest and
wondered if she was single…
Thankfully it was a short drive to Seattle University’s main library, and Alice parked the “car”
in a spot I believe was reserved for bicycles only. Again, she was out and on the move,
clickety-clacking with surprising speed up the sidewalk to the entrance. I levered myself out
with a groan and closed the distance between us.
Alice charged through the doors of the quiet library like a bloodhound on the trail of a hot
scent – although, I couldn’t help but note that physically, she more resembled a terrier… or
one of those dogs that looked like they had their face smooshed by running into a wall…
I hung several steps back, leaving space between me and the crazed little person, but I
quickly noticed I was drawing considerably more gawking stares than she was.
A passing library page froze in her tracks, her stack of books nearly sliding off her cart. “Nice
tights, Hamlet.”
“Huh?” Shit! I forgot all about the costume. “It’s Romeo, thank you very much,” I retorted,
but turned red in the face none-the-less as I passed her. Catching up with Alice, I hissed in
her ear, “Can’t you hurry this up?”
She shushed me with a flick of her hand and marched on undeterred.
Another floor up and three wolf-whistles later, Alice gasped, “There she is!” and broke into a
run. I lengthened my stride to keep up.
“Bella!” she called out.
A brown-haired, brown-eyed girl looked up from her sea of open books and notepads.
“Alice? What’s wrong?” Her eyes widened in alarm.
Alice slid into the chair next to Bella and began frantically closing books and stacking Bella’s
belongings on the table. “We’ve got to go – quickly.”
“Go? Go where?” Bella’s voice had jumped several octaves. Then she leaned over to Alice’s
ear and whispered, “Does this have something to do with the large guy dressed like
Macbeth?”
“Romeo! As in ‘where the fuck art thou’!” I barked in frustration – maybe a bit too loudly as
eyes again darted in my direction.
“That’s Emmett,” Alice replied off-handedly and resumed packing.
Bella grabbed Alice’s hands tightly to still them – she obviously had experience with the
dark-haired hurricane. “What is going on?” she asked punctuating each word.
“Edward needs you – now!”
Bella blanched and released Alice like she’d been slapped before snatching back her bag.
Bella determinedly began unpacking it. “Edward got what he needed. He’s moved on, and I
need to do the same.”
I looked to Alice for her retort. She was right; this wasn’t going to be easy…
Unfortunately, Alice was glaring at me with wide eyes that screamed “Well? Do something!”
I stuttered, “Um, Bella, listen to Alice. She’s right. Edward needs your help.”
“And who are you?” she asked, clearly irritated with our cryptic antics.
“I’m Edward’s brother and roommate.”
Something flashed in her eyes, and her attitude changed abruptly. “Is he in danger?”
“No –“
“Yes!” Alice raised her voice over mine as she jumped to a stand.
A round of hostile “shhhhes” flooded the room and dispatched the fast moving “library
police”.
“Please!” the middle-aged woman with the shiny gold nametag spouted as she angrily
approached our table. “You are causing a disturbance. I will have to ask you ladies to take
your belongings and Porthos –“
“I am not a Musketeer for God’s sake! I. Am. Romeo!”
Alice cracked a smile then stifled a laugh, while Bella looked completely horrified. But it
worked; Bella was more than ready to leave. She shoved what Alice had not already packed
into her bag and swiftly led the way to the stairwell.
Once outside, Bella spun on her heels to address us, none too kindly…
“Well, is Edward in danger or not?”
“Quite frankly, Bella, he’s about to commit suicide.”
“What!!??” Bella and I shouted simultaneously, staring at Alice.
“Okay, sorry, a bit over the top. He’s about to commit career suicide unless we get you to
Raisbeck Hall! He’s about to screw up a once in a lifetime audition – and you need to tell
him how you feel about him before he does!”
Bella furrowed her brow. “So, telling him I think he’s a bastard will actually help him?”
“Bella!” Alice shrieked.
Knowing Edward was hell to live with in his current love-sick-puppy condition, and
foreseeing it only getting worse after the botched audition of a lifetime, thereby killing his
career before it even got started, I spoke up, “He’s been utterly miserable since he returned
from your weekend together. He has lost interest in everything. I hardly even recognize him
he’s so morose. And he was a moody little shit to begin with! Believe me, I know he has a
knack for screwing things up, but I can also tell you – he’s in love with you. Big time.”
Bella’s shoulders dropped, as did her defenses, and the tiny whirlwind took advantage of
Bella's vulnerability…
“Bella, Edward is a customer at the coffee shop, only I didn't know he was Edward, I called
him Maestro... anyway, he told me everything! He only left you because he was afraid if you
two were romantically involved, you wouldn’t have taken the money.”
“Is that true?” I asked her, genuinely interested in her reply.
“Well, how balanced can a relationship be if one person holds all the power?” Bella
reasoned.
Was I hearing her correctly? “Power? Is that how little you think of Edward that he would
act like you owed him? Do you really think that's what he's interested in? I saw the spark in
his eyes when he saw you on the computer screen -- he only wanted to help you.”
Bella swallowed hard and hung her head.
We stood in dramatic silence... breathlessly awaiting her response.
BPOV
It was difficult to think with the two of them staring at me, but the way I figured it, I only had
two choices.
I could play it safe, hide behind my facade of indifference, and try to heal from heartbreak.
In other words, continue to deny my longing for Edward's presence in my life... and my
desire to be held close in his arms...
Or I could take another risk. Put my heart out there. Just fucking tell him how I felt, and let
the chips fall where they may -- at the very least, I would say it, admit it to him and myself --
I loved him!
And, in all truth, I just couldn't be the cause of his all too real “career suicide”.
Raising my head and gathering all the strength I possessed, I felt myself ask, “How fast can
we get to Raisbeck?”
Alice jumped and squealed in elation while Emmett broke out in an adorable dimpled smile
and nodded his approval. Blushing, I shook my head in disbelief -- quite the team these two
made!
Glancing at his phone, Emmett cringed. "We are going to have to carjack a Porsche if we
have any chance in hell of making it on time!"
"Leave it to me!" Alice affirmed as she took off toward the parking lot.
Quickly shrugging off our shock, Emmett and I jogged along behind her. The further we
went, the more I started to get nervous. "Do you think she'll really steal a car?" I inquired.
He began to laugh. "I've only just met her tonight, but I can already tell she is a firecracker
full of surprises!"
To my relief, I saw she was headed for her car. Emmett groaned, "That car may be called a
Fiesta, but riding in it is no party."
Arriving at the car, he bowed gallantly to me before stuffing himself in the backseat.
"Son-of-a-Bitch!" he grumbled.
"Emmett, I'm sorry, really," I began to apologize.
"I just crushed my friggin' hat!"
"Now, that is the best news I've heard tonight," Alice deadpanned.
I began to giggle, just a little.
It was a nice stress release before my brain once again assaulted me with images of what I
was about to do.
"Alice, I don't know if I can do this," I backpedaled.
Emmett's large hand was suddenly squeezing my shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, Bella.
I know he wants to hear what you have to say. In fact I’d say it’s all but killing him not
hearing from you this long."
His words bolstered my flagging confidence. I took a few deep breaths and focused on my
determination to finally do the right thing even if it killed me...
That is if Alice’s driving didn’t do the job first.
"Holy shit, Alice! Slow down! You just ran a red light!"
"Listen, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few laws..." she retorted, eyes glued to
the road.
I flashed a worried look at Emmett's hunched over form in the backseat.
"Just hang on," he replied with a smile in his voice.
We cut down several narrow alleys, which frankly, only a car this size could probably do, and
skidded to a halt in the "no parking" zone in front of Raisbeck Hall.
"Get to the main auditorium! Go, Bella, go!"
I jettisoned myself from the car and ran full pelt up the stairs, bursting through the double
glass front doors, grateful not to have tripped. I had no idea which direction I should turn, so
I just kept moving.
Very quickly I noticed I was not dressed appropriately for the occasion. All around me, finely
clad people gave me appalled looks as I jostled between them. I paid them no mind; I had to
find Edward before it was too late.
I caught sight of signage on the walls indicating the direction I should take and lowered my
head as I picked up speed. When I got to the end of the hallway, I was met with a closed
door that bore a sign reading: "Backstage. Performers Only."
"Not today," I growled, throwing open the door. I barreled inside... and hit a wall... or at
least I thought it was a wall.
"Are you performing tonight, miss?" A deeply accented voice questioned, his tone positively
dripping with sarcasm.
I took a step back, and looked up. Then I took another step back. He was possibly the
largest man I had ever seen.
"Um, I need to speak to one of the musicians. It's imperative I speak to him before his
performance," I pleaded.
"No one is allowed behind stage unless they are performing. You will need to take your
seat."
"No, please!" I began to beg as the giant folded his arms over his chiseled chest and cast a
stern look down at me.
"She is my assistant. I will be performing tonight." A voice boomed authoritatively from
behind -- coming to my rescue.
"And who might you be?" Again, skepticism rained from the backstage guard's tone as he
eyed the person behind me.
"Obviously, I'm the Pied Piper of Hamelin. I will be playing the flute tonight," he said, subtly
nudging me with his elbow.
Yes! Interference…
In the moment of confusion, I ducked past the giant blocking me from getting to Edward,
and broke into a run. I had to give Emmett credit, he was a fast mover and an even faster
thinker... though I couldn’t say much in favor of his taste in wardrobe.
"Edward? Edward?" I called out as I rapid passed several rooms down the dark hall
backstage.
Panic rose in my voice each time I called for him. Was I already too late? Would he blame
me for what happened on stage? Damn my pig-headed pride!
I could hear voices mumbling in my wake. Performers were coming out of the rooms
wondering aloud at my spectacle of insanity.
Ahead of me, at the end of the hall, behind a door marked “stage,” I suddenly heard the
dreaded words being projected over a loud speaker, "Performing the challenging eighth
Sonata by Prokofiev, Mr. Edward Cullen."
No!
I slid to a halt as my mind wailed, whipping my head back and forth. Behind me, a crowd of
unknown faces stared at my back and ahead of me lay the final two rooms before I would
reach the stark terminus of the stage door. Where was he?
As if in slow motion, one of the doors slid open, and all the air in my lungs was suddenly
sucked out in a rush.
Edward stepped into the hall.
His eyes were downcast, and I only caught a brief unreadable glimpse of his face. He moved
gracefully toward the stage door. In his long black tails, he looked so handsome and
sophisticated. So perfect.
The sight of him looking so far out of my league made me pause to question my impending
actions. He was destined for different world than I. A place of wealth and refinement. In
my worn-out skinny jeans, Sketchers, and oversized flannel, I couldn't have been more his
opposite.
Time ticked in my head, and I waited for someone to appear to make the choice for me. I
couldn't afford to choose wrong!
However, I didn't hear the sound of Alice's heels clicking double time down the hallway or
Emmett's booming voice calling for Edward to stop. It was as clear as could be: It was up to
me this time to make things right.
"Edward?"
His name came out as a question, and my voice cracked with the strain of my uncertainty.
He stopped dead. Just froze in mid stride.
The stage door burst open. “Mr. Cullen… Mr. Cullen… You’re ON!" barked an anxious-
looking stage manager urgently gesturing toward the stage while clutching his headset to his
ear. When Edward completely ignored him, he hissed, "There is a whole auditorium of
people waiting for you!"
Suddenly the last few weeks of silence between us meant nothing. Edward’s last words
before our parting meant nothing. It didn't matter if he didn't want me. I couldn’t let him go
like this. I just had to take the chance and speak up...
Edward resumed striding toward the stage door.
Maybe he didn’t hear me. So this time I pushed the words out louder and braver. "No!
Edward, wait. Look at me. Please! I'm here. I needed to… I... I wanted to wish you good
luck tonight."
I bit my lip – that wasn’t what I was hoping to say, exactly.
He spun around in my direction, but his expression was so closed I couldn't read the look on
his face. My stomach dropped sickeningly into my shabby shoes as time stopped. We stood
just a few feet apart, staring at each other.
"Edward, I'm sorry," I croaked out, wanting to say the words I came across two campuses
and broke untold traffic laws to say, but my throat began to constrict and tears filled my
eyes. I felt I would crumble to the floor in an utterly embarrassing puddle of complete
weakness and self-serving fear.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" He began moving tentatively toward me.
"For not telling you how I felt that day I read your letter. And all the days after that when I
let my cowardice kept me from asking if you were the ‘E’ in the letter – as I had hoped."
The walls of the hallway were closing in on me, and I struggled to breathe. I tried to find
focus in Edward's intense green eyes.
"Hello!" interrupted the agitated voice of the stage manager, “It’s now or never! The judges
are waiting! Think of what is at stake here!"
"I know what is at stake. Now I see what really matters," Edward replied.
His words gave me the encouragement I needed. I was so close... just say it, Bella! "And
then at the hotel... when you rescued me and... changed me."
"My Bella..." he whispered, halting his movement in my direction.
"Edward... I love you. I always have even when it was from afar!" I began to shake and my
knees felt like they were made of Jell-O.
Just as the walls felt like they had completely closed in on me, and everything began fading
to black… he was there. Edward had closed the space between us and caught me in his firm,
warm embrace, which I willingly melted into.
"Bella," he spoke expressively into my hair, "I love you, too. I love you."
From behind us, the hallway burst into boisterous cheers and applause as our curious on-
lookers were swept up in our not-so-personal moment of honesty and joy.
"Way to go, you two!" Emmett's heart-felt congratulatory words filled my ears.
I felt Edward chuckle, and pulled away from his chest to look at my best friends.
"Awww. It's such a happy ending!" Alice squeaked as she wiped her eyes on the bountiful
fabric making up the puffy sleeves of Emmett's shirt.
“Pixie Stick? What are you doing here? Did you have something to do with this?”
“That’s Alice,” I beamed, “my priceless roommate!”
"And take a look at her partner in crime! Awesome Romeo costume, Emmett." Edward
nodded his approval. "Did you score a Juliet?" He grinned knowingly.
"Maybe, just maybe." Emmett glanced down at the emotional Alice, slinging an oversized
arm around her petite shoulders.
"Oh, goodie! All is well in lover-land!” the stage manager sneered. “NOW are you ready to
grace us with your performance, Mr. Cullen?" The man was obviously not the sensitive type.
Edward looked at me as if waiting for my permission.
With a smile I couldn't hold back, I told him, "Knock 'em dead, Maestro!"
Determination filled his clear, bright eyes as he placed his hands on my cheeks, planting the
most heated kiss on my lips. Heavenly!
He turned and marched confidently out onto the stage.
The manager abruptly closed the door on my still grinning face. But I lingered there. Along
with Alice, Emmett, and our new found well-wishers.
We all listened together.
And Edward played flawlessly...
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