Speed
Seduction
Seminar
Transcripts
Table Of Contents
Tape Contents Descriptions..........................................................................................................................................................1
Tape 1 – Side 1.................................................................................................................................................................................5
Tape 1 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................15
Tape 2 – Side 1...............................................................................................................................................................................25
Tape 2 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................36
Tape 3 – Side 1...............................................................................................................................................................................47
Tape 3 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................58
Tape 4 – Side 1...............................................................................................................................................................................68
Tape 4 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................76
Tape 5 – Side 1...............................................................................................................................................................................88
Tape 5 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................99
Tape 6 – Side 1.............................................................................................................................................................................113
Tape 6 – Side 2.............................................................................................................................................................................127
Tape 7 – Side 1.............................................................................................................................................................................136
Tape 7 – Side 2.............................................................................................................................................................................147
Tape 8 – Side 1.............................................................................................................................................................................163
Tape 8 – Side 2.............................................................................................................................................................................174
Tape 9 – Side 1.............................................................................................................................................................................185
Tape 9 – Side 2.............................................................................................................................................................................200
Tape 10 – Side 1...........................................................................................................................................................................214
Tape 10 – Side 2...........................................................................................................................................................................230
1
Tape Contents Descriptions
Side 1
The problems with dating
Basic SS rule: capture and lead her imagination
There’s no such thing...
Possible “newbie” mistakes:
patterns are made up
patterns are goofy... women won’t respond
using patterns as hi-tech begging
having unrealistic expectations on yourself
Will vs. willingness
Women’s compartmentalization; places in women’s minds
Side 2
Beautiful women place men in altered states
Overview of SS: 1) Designing your state
2) Seductive language
3) Conversational framework
The 4 doorways into a woman’s mind
Stories and descriptions; form vs. content
Building blocks of patterns: weasel phrases
Submission vs. surrender
Side 3
Brother John’s Italian girl story
-- finger pointing
Brother Dennis’ story and Ross’ commentary
Major Mark: the romantic hero
Side 4
Major Mark continued: his initial SS development
SS attitudes: Ross’ 10 Commandments
How sound influences your mindset
-- Ross working with a student on Rocky & Bullwinkle
Rocky & Bullwinkle exercise
Side 5
Rocky & Bullwinkle exercise continued
-- Ross working with students
Initial pickups
-- being outrageous: fake like you’re gay
-- general structure: interrupt her state, focus her attention on you, take
control of her internal reps
-- “I’m glad you laughed...”
Side 6
The Grapho deck
2
Initial pickups continued
-- pauses
-- seductive speaking pace
-- examples of effective approaches
Patterns/Discovery Channel pattern:
-- layer 3 deep
-- how to quote
-- conversational framework
-- ambiguity
-- time distortion
-- the contrast principle
Side 7
Looking vs. truly seeing pattern
Have you ever thought of the difference between x and y?
Thinking in themes: e.g., learning so much about people
Anchoring negative feelings to someone else
Conversational framework; transition phrases
Side 8
Major Mark: being a teacher vs. being someone you learn from
Transition phrases continued
Generating patterns:
-- spinning patterns off of "Fantasies"
-- guidelines for generating patterns
-- being a sorcerer vs. casting a spell
The AFC mindset
Patterns as a promise
Side 9
Major Mark: the importance of the call for action
Generating patterns continue
Ross about "letting go"
Ross working with Brother Pelone on getting intuitive
Thoughts have locations
Playing with her mental pictures
Ross' induction and exercise to build a powerful self-image ("aha! box"...)
Opening your intuition:
-- peripheral vision
Side 10
Ross working with a student to get rid of unconscious images
Orion's presentation:
-- the initial walk up
-- demonstrating patterns
Side 11
Orion's and Ross' presentation continued:
-- sincerity
3
-- patterns reflecting themes that are of deep passion to you
-- experience the pattern yourself; reciting vs. revealing
-- CLOSES: linguistic closes, strategic closes, dealing with boyfriend
objection, physical closes (physical clues, "surprise kiss" pattern)
-- personal space pattern
-- describe the process you want her to experience
-- massage pattern
-- relationships: honesty, never harming her
-- when she says “stop!”
Side 12
Orion's presentation concluded
Ross on creating themes
Major Mark
-- pathological trance (compulsion, dominance, obsession)
-- what does it mean to be a seducer?
Side 13
Major Mark continued: scoring with married women
Ross working with a student (swish and more)
Side 14
End of Ross' working with students
Content language vs. process language
The importance of mental rehearsal
Structure and form
"Manny the Martian" exercise
Ross working with a student on sounds that open better circuitry
Quotes
Side 15
Quotes continued:
-- Jokes. Voodoo Dildo.
-- Poetry. "Fascination" poem.
More pattern building blocks: Phonetic ambiguity, negation, hypnotic trance
words, softeners.
Working with "Drug of choice" student
"Shock therapy"
Side 16
Moving her energy into desired states
Useful questions to ask yourself
Structuring opportunities and offering challenges
Supplicating:
-- techniques on how to test for it
-- ways women get you to supplicate
-- ways to avoid it
Breath induction
4
Context:
-- in person vs. over phone
-- someone you know vs. a new person
Transition between patterns
Major Mark: the power of repetition
"You can make it be" poem
Side 17
Orion reading a poem to a girl
Kim's presentation: voice, tonality, breathing, etc.
Side 18
Kim's presentation continued: inflection, feeling what you say
Ross talking about his products
Orion's presentation:
-- discussing his poem presentation and his troubleshooter tapes
-- demonstrating patterns (IC, value elicitation)
Side 19
Orion continued: eliciting Kim's values
Ross demonstrating value elicitation with Brother Kathleen
Orion demonstrating the Blammo
Side 20
Conclusion: testimonials
5
Tape 1 – Side 1
Yates: Welcome to the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed
Seduction Seminar. This is Tape 1, Side 1
Ross: Speed Seduction Seminar
Audience: (applause).
Ross: Thank you. I know it's well deserved. I want to
start out this morning by talking about why dating
sucks and why you should not be dating and why
speed seduction has nothing to do with dating and
should not be used for dating. The problem with
dating and the problem that dating poses for most
men is, for most men dating is form of gambling.
Okay? How many have ever heard the phrase "I got
lucky"? All right. What does that imply? That means
that something good happened to you, but you don't
know how it happened, it was out of your control and
you don't know how to reproduce it at will. In other
words, it's pure roll of the dice. Dating is the
equivalent of playing darts by being blindfolded, put
in a dark room, spun around and throwing that dart
hoping it's going to hit the target. So if you're sitting
here in this room and you've tried everything you can
within the dating game to make it work, if you're at the
end of your rope, if you're feeling like a fucking
failure, well, guess what? The game was rigged for
you to fall. The game was never meant for you to
succeed at it. Dating was meant for certain people. It
was meant for the restaurant and the entertainment
and the movie industries to make a lot of money.
Okay? It was also designed for women to get free
dinners, free shows and lots of nice gifts. Now, I'm
not saying don't be generous. Being generous is fine
after you've established that she's attracted to you
and you're getting what you want from her. Okay? But
dating is the method for attracting women, for
seducing women, for creating an attraction, and
having sexual choice and power pretty much sucks.
Because dating requires that you supplicate. I want
you to look at a word. This is very important. That
word is supplicate. I want to tell you that he who
supplicates, masturbates.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Do we know what the word supplicates means?
Okay? Supplicate, to supplicate means to plea, to beg,
to make earnest entreaties. Picture a king who has the
ability to grant you a pardon or to kill you and you're
accused of the crime and you crawl on your knees to
the king and you supplicate him for a pardon. Just
look at some of the languaging. Before we examine the
languaging of speed seduction, let's look at some of
the languaging of dating. What are some of the
common terms? Ask her out, right? Okay. What else?
Ask her out what are some of the things you think of
when you think of dating? I have to ask her out.
Where should I take her? Is she interested? Exactly.
Will I get lucky? Does she like me? Okay. These are
all thought forms of a supplicant, someone who needs
to plea or ask or beg, and unfortunately the dating
game leaves you two choices, well three choices.
Choice number one is to be a nice guy, a. k. a. a
supplicant. Choice number two is to be a jerk, a. k. a. a
bully. Choice number three is sit it out and play with
Mr. Winky. Okay. Which, given the circumstances,
may not be that bad a choice considering the bullshit
you have to go through. Okay. Speed seduction
replaces dating. Dating is for what I call AFCs -
average frustrated chumps. And this morning what
I'm going to do is give you some basic
understandings about how and why speed seduction
works and then, later on, for the rest of the weekend
we'll get into the actual tools. But my belief is if you
understand what the tools are designed to do, and if
you understand each step you're step you're taking
and what it's designed to do, you'll be able to use the
tools much more powerfully. Does that make sense?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Now, they're different ways you can comment
this material. You certainly could just memorize it,
stupidly not understand what you're doing. And
you'll have more success than a guy out there who's
dating, but it's just not going to be nearly as
successful as if you understand what you're doing.
And one of the differences between me and other
people in the NLP world is I want you to consciously,
explicitly understand what you're doing step by step.
Okay. I also believe the unconscious can make use of
explicit to organize material. So, so far you following
me?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Make sense? Okay, good. So, you can either
be, in the dating game, you can either be a bully or
you can be a supplicant. To me, these are not good
choices. Now, I know a lot of people say, well the key
to being successful with women is being a jerk, and I
don't think that's true at all. I think that's the key to
being successful with the wrong king of women. I
think a key understanding for you guys to grasp, and
this is very powerful, I really want you guys to get
this. If you get this, if you get nothing else, if you just
6
get this one point, you will be so far ahead of the
game when it comes to understanding, and pleasing,
women and being successful with women, having
them want to please you, that you will not believe it.
Here's the understanding I want you guys to get.
Okay. There's a difference. I want you to contemplate
this. I'm not going to explain to you what the
difference is, but I want you to think about it through
the weekend. Through the weekend, I want you to
think to yourself - what is the difference between
getting a woman to submit and getting a woman to
surrender? And how many people here in this room,
honestly, have ever even thought about that
distinction before this moment? That one distinction,
I know you have Denny, that one distinction will take
you further than having a Rolls Royce, a five hundred
gallon drum of cocaine, or whatever it is you think,
you think, is the key to being successful with women.
Now let me make something clear. Within the confines
of the dating game, you do need these t hings. You do
need good looks, you do need a lot of money, you do
need a lot of social status to be successful. There's no
question about it. If you're going to play in that game,
you need those things. Otherwise, you're shit out of
luck. Okay. You're like a one-legged man in an ass
kicking contest. How many people have ever felt that
way when dating? Hey, I didn't feel I had a leg, I had a
stump. Okay.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: I'm serious. Let me explain to you some of my
own personal history here on wh y I'm doing this work
that I do. I used to get my ass kicked on a daily basis
when I was younger. I mean really badly. I didn't have
the slightest clue as to what to do, I had no
confidence, I didn't know what I was up to, and it was
a very bad thing for me, very bad time for me. So I
understand, I don't care where you are, I don't care if
you're a virgin and have never had a woman in your
life, or you're a guy who's doing pretty well, but you
wants to do better. I've been there. Wherever you've
been, whatever you think you're challenge or your
problem is, I've either had it myself or I've
encountered it in the five years I've been doing this
and I've solved it. Okay. We have a technology here
that's taking care of all of this, I can think it is, I can
promise you that, I can promise you that. But, here's
the thing. Here's one of the big mistakes guys will
make. I want you to avoid this. Guys will try to use
speed seduction for dating. If they're going to try to
use speed seduction to get dates and then they'll
come climb right back in the same old game and get
their butts kicked all over again. Let me give you sort
of a metaphor. How many people know how human
being survived before we discovered agriculture?
What did we do for food?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: We were hunters. Okay. Hunters and gatherers.
So what did that imply? If we were hunters and
gatherers, what did we have to do?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Right. We had to follow the game animals. So
we were a nomadic society in everything, all our
culture, a little introduction in elementary Marxist
sociology here. Ross Jeffries is a Communist. He
talked about - no I'm not. Okay. I'm a Libertarian. One
ism that I never, ever experimented with was
Communism. We were hunter/gatherers. Now, what it
- within the realm of hunting - what would be an
innovation, an improvement for a hunter? Someone
think of an innovation for a hunter.
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Sharper spear. Are we using these
microphones? Okay, an M-16 - not an M -16.
Audience: (Laughter from audience)
Ross: Okay. That's quite a - sharper spear, right?
Because the spear would do more damage to the game
animal, maybe a better way to sneak up on the
animals, better camouflage, okay, traps
Audience: (responses from audience),
Ross: bow and arrow, right. These are all great
innovations. But guess what? You're still a hunter.
Now, if you're trapped in the hunting mindset, and
one day some guy named Ross, caveman Ross,
comes up and goes "Ooh, ooh, I found this stuff
called seeds and you know what we can do with
these? You can plant them in the ground. I've been
growing these plants and the animals come and eat
the plants and I don't have to hunt. I just go right up
to them and slit their throats and I have all the meat I
want.” Now, if you were stuck in the hunting mindset,
what would you do with those seeds? You'd say,
"Oh, I know what I could do with these. I can eat them
for energy on the trail when I'm running after the
buffalo.”
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Okay. So, I have some incredible seed to give
you
Audience: (laughter)
Ross: and - you've got to watch the gestures, Chris
I've got some incredible seed to give you and I want
7
you to use it in the right way. Okay? I want you to
forget about dating. Dating is for women you are
already sleeping with. Okay. Let's say it with me
DATING IS FOR WOMEN I AM ALREADY
SLEEPING WITH
Audience: (audience participation).
Ross: One more time - DATING IS FOR WOMEN I
AM ALREADY SLEEPING WITH
Audience: (audience participation).
Ross: Right, okay. Now you think I'm kidding. You
think I'm kidding - I'm not. When you get good at
these skills, an hour or two over a cup of coffee and
she'll be saying - you wouldn't believe what women
do when they really want you. Okay.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: All the same, you know the bullshit mechanism
they use to spin excuses? "Well, I'd like to go out
with you but my parakeet's having an existential crisis
and I caught a tropical disease and I'm shrinking and
by midnight I'll be three inches high, and you don't
have car restraints to keep me safe at that altitude.”
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: The same mechanism works in your favor when
they want you. There is a story on the SS list about;
I'm trying to think which brother it was whose brother
- I can't remember which brother it was. Bohunkus -
Brother Bohunkus. Okay. That's what he called
himself - Bohunkus. He used this stuff on this girl and
she wants to go back to his place. So they go back his
place. She says, "You know, it's awful hot in here with
these jeans. Do you have a pair of shorts I can
change into?" He says, "Sure.” He goes to hand her
the shorts; she takes off her jeans - no panties. Okay.
Puts the shorts on. She says, "I'm feeling kind of tired.
Is there a place where we could lie down?"
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: I mean all this stuff, okay. So, see it all depends,
well let me give you another metaphor. Let me give
you a different metaphor. Let me talk to you a minute
about trains, because it actually ties in. I was in
Boston cause we were doing a seminar in Boston.
Remember the Boston seminar, was anyone there?
And what happened was, I made a promise to a
young lady who I was dating at the time that I would
take her to New York City, that we would take the
train to New York City because she's never been to
New York City, and I promised her and she was one of
those kinds of women who would consistently remind
you of your promise until you kept it.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: And if you didn't keep it, woe betide you. But
that's okay, I liked that. I need someone to keep me
honest like that. So, we know something very
interesting. We jumped on to this commuter train and
all the adults immediately got busy. They all had their
faces buried in some kind of reading material. They
were businessmen and women reading the financial
pages, there were students reading textbooks of
various kinds, I saw someone studying a history book
and then there was someone working on their
mathematics, but all of the adults immediately were
preoccupied. Now, sitting directly in front of us was a
mother with her young daughter. The kid was maybe
four years old - right around your age range, guys
Audience: (laughter)
Ross: and the kid was obviously excited about this
trip. She was dressed in her best dress, she had a
ribbon in her hair, she was just so excited. And her
mother was sitting by the window and this kid was
having a fit, going "I want to sit by the window, I
want to see, I want to see, I want to see.” So the
mother got up and the kid was wide-eyed and glued
to the window. And I thought what a great thing.
What a great thing to have that ability to look
through the window of wonder. And everything you
see in front of you is a miracle, everything you see is
an opportunity to learn and to be excited and to see
something new and interesting and different, to open
and expand your mind. And as we made our stops
along the way, when the train would pull into a
different station, the kid would go, "What's this,
what's that?" I was playing games with her. I'd say,
"Oh, that's a magic dragon's tail.” It was a piece of
paper fluttering. So, we had a really great time and as
we were exiting the train, I thought "What a
wonderful thing to have that ability to open your
mind to wonder, open your mind to a sense that
anything could be possible, that everything was
new.” And then, as I walked past the engine, I
thought, "You know, on the other hand, it's really
great to know that there's a very clear-headed,
practical-minded engineer running this thing.” Cause I
don't want this wonder-eyed kid pulling all the
switches. I don't mind if she goes up there and looks,
but I don't want her hands on the dials. So, it also
very important to, you know, with something like a
train, to have a very practical, analytical, practical
application mind. But I thought, what a wonderful
thing if a person could experience both of those.
That's when real learning would take place. And, the
thing about trains, I've always liked trains. I remember
8
when I was a little kid, we lived pretty close to a rail
line. And I could hear them at night. I could hear the
whistle going, "Whoo, whoo.” And I would imagine it
was a circus train pulling out to go to a new town to
entertain, and I thought man, that's really cool. Now,
there's all sorts of trains. In World War II they had
something called munitions trains. Now, munitions
trains were very interesting. They were essentially
five miles of target. Okay? And the first no smoking
compartment was created for ammunition trains
because, you know, they had bombs, and gas and all
sorts of things that were highly explosive. And, you
know, there are cargo trains of various, different
kinds, there are circus trains, and then, there's my
favorite kind of train, the bullet train. There's no need
to take notes here .
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: The bullet train, the bullet train, comes from a
country called Japan. Now, the Japanese, to my mind
have gotten a very bad rap, a very bad rap. They've
gotten a bad rap as being imitators and idea thieves
when, in fact, that's not true. In fact, what the
Japanese do is, they take what works, they only take
what works, from the best of everything and they take
the best of what works and that's what they use and
that's only what they use and they throw everything
that doesn't wo rk out. They put everything that does
work together into something that's wonderful. Now
here's the cool thing about bullet trains. Your average,
normal train does maybe 60-65 miles an hour tops,
maybe 70. Bullet trains can do 185, 190 - 200 miles an
hour. Now, how do bullet trains work? They actually
levitate above the tracks. Bullet trains do not run on
the tracks. They're magnetically levitated off the
tracks so there is no friction; cause friction is what
slows you down. Okay? Now, how many people think
a two-mile long train doing 195 miles per hour is
levitated? You got to figure it's levitated at least six
inches, right, maybe a foot? Uh uh. You know how
high they're levitated off the track?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Like a quarter of an inch, a fraction of an inch.
Just that much difference in perspective makes such
an incredible difference in performance. From friction
and problems and to, whew, smooth 195 miles an
hour. So, really the most important kind of train that
you need to concern yourselves with are trains of
thought, because it's your train of thought that
determines what destination you're going to reach.
And if you've been reaching a destination that's
wank-off city it's because the track you're running on
doesn't work for you. It's time to pull the switch and
create a new destination and lay some track that
works for you. And also consider that if that woman
hasn't yet discovered how wonderful and attractive
you are, guess what? Simply cause she's on the
wrong train of thought. It's your job with speed
seduction to put her on the right train of thought. So,
with that in mind, let me talk to you about the first rule
of speed seduction, the first rule of powerful
persuasion of any kind that you want to do. It sound
interesting?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: By the way, there will be times during the
seminar when it's appropriate to take notes. On the
other hand, there'll be other times when it's
appropriate to look up here. You can take notes right
now, this is okay. By the way, this is in the notes that
we're going to be handing out. Do we hand out notes
this time? They got them? I'll need a set during a
break. We'll take frequent breaks, so I don't need it
now, I'm cool now. The first rule I want you to get this
is profoundly powerful - you can look up here cause I
want you to understand it and then you can take
notes. This rule is profoundly powerful for any kind
of persuasion you want to do, but so important for
seduction. That rule is whatever you can get a person
to imagine, does everyone have an imagination here,
does anyone think they don't have one? I was told by
someone, "You can't talk about imagination to
engineers.”
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Well, engineers have great imaginations. They
have to picture all this shit. They've just been taught
that they're not imaginative, but in fact they are,
okay? That's essentially the Wright Brothers were
engineers, and damn good ones. By the way, they're
an inspiration of mine. Go get a biography on the
Wright Brothers to see all the technical challenges
and all the failures and learnings they had to
consistently overcome to create an airplane. They
were massive. And they were blazing a trail, there was
no one going ahead of them. Okay? Whatever you
can get a person to imagine will be perceived by that
person as being their own thought because they
imagined it, and, therefore, they will not resist it. I'll
say it again. Whatever you can get a person to
imagine will be perceived by that person as being
their own thought because they imagine it. Therefore,
the first rule in seduction is to capture and lead the
woman's imagination using your language. It's in the
notes there somewhere, don't worry about it though,
you need to be paying attention up here, okay? I'll
say it sufficient times and you'll have to plenty of time
9
to write it. But I want to explain it first. Here's the
problem with writing as you're listening. You're not
really getting the understanding. I'll give you plenty
of time to write. I'll want you to really make sure you
really understand what I'm saying. Okay? Capture and
lead the imagination with your language. Now, that's
not such a bizarre idea, its not so untested as you
might think. Think about it. It's the basis for political
oratory, I mean, may he bum in hell for all time in a pit
of feted cement, but Adolf Hitler captured and led the
imagination of a nation and made them all go
psychotic. Okay? Martin Luther King, a good
example, captured the imagination of a group of
people, led them to make massive change, okay?
Capturing and leading the imagination using language
is the basics of political oratory; it's the basis of
religious conversion. How many people here have
ever seen a really good Southern Baptist tent
revivalist preacher? Those boys make me look like a
piker. Okay. They are good. Now, I'm not mocking
anybody's religion, I'm just talking about the
methodology they use to deliver the message and
they are real - those of you at home will hear a sound -
it is me copiously ejaculating - no it's
Audience: (laughter)
Ross: I'm pouring water, I'm now changing it into jiz -
no. It's the basis of all good literature. What does a
good writer do? He captures and leads your
imagination using words. It's the basis of poetry, it's
the basis of theater. All I'm doing is coming on and
going, "Dumb shits, stop with this dating crap and
use something that's been used for thousands of
years in other areas. Let me show you how to use it
with precision so you can stop all the guesswork. By
the way, inevitably when I'm on the radio someone
says, "What about relationships, why are you against
relationships?" I'm not. But I am against relationships
through default because here's what happens for
most men. We can all share this in this room because
we know it's true for mo st of us at one point in our
lives or another. For most men, when we get into a
relationship it's because we accidentally found
someone who's attracted to us and will let us have our
sexual release. Okay? For most men, they don't get
into relationships because they have a lot of choice, a
lot of opportunity, a lot of power, and they finally met
someone who meets all their standards. They get into
what I call relationships by default. Okay? They're not
in that relationship because they have a lot of choice;
they're in there because it's the best they can do. It's
like you're starving in the desert and someone drops
you a frozen package of Kraft macaroni and cheese.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Now, Kraft company, I love your product, I eat
it, please don't sue me, but I'm saying you're going to
gobble that down and anyone who tries to take it from
you, you're going to kill them. And maybe if you see
the opportunity to go have some applesauce over
there, you'll lie and go, "Kraft macaroni, you're the
only one for me - I'll be right back.” Okay? The reason
why men behave unethically
Audience: (laughter)
Ross: well, the reason why men behave unethically
and they're dishonest is because they're in conditions
of scarcity. Okay? If you're a multibillionaire and a
quarter drops out of your pocket, you're not going to
go scrabbling and stomping on people to get it.
Okay? No one wants to talk about the sexual
starvation of men, but I will talk about it. Okay. And
it's there primarily because the system that you're
given to use to get your sexual satisfaction doesn't
work. It's not your fault. If there're people here feeling
like utter, abject failures with the dating game, wake
up, it's not your fault, the game is rigged against you.
Okay? So, the way to get out of all that is to learn to
capture and lead the imagination, and that's what all
of speed seduction is about. And, see, the AFC, the
average frustrated chump, who's still hunting the
buffalo, so to speak, is ignoring the seeds of wisdom I
want him to swallow, He asking himself questions like,
"Where should I take her? How much money should I
spend? How should I dress?" The questions I want
you to ask is the following question, learn to ask
yourself this question and you'll do wonderfully well.
The question I want you to learn to ask yourself is,
"How is this communication, " I will repeat this three
times so you'll have plenty of time to write it down,
"How is this communication structured to capture and
lead her imagination?" "How is this communication
structured to capture and lead her imagination?" You
see, part of learning a new set of skills is to learn to
think completely differently. What makes speed
seduction work is it's so outside the box. Now, for
those of you who at first will find this foreign
sounding and really strange and different, that's only
a measure of how powerful it will be for you. To the
extent that is completely different from the way you're
used to thinking and you're experiencing some
confusion, that's only a sign that it's completely
outside of what you've been doing and that's a
measure of the results you're going to be getting
because it is so different. Okay? If you're used to
riding a horse and buggy and I come along and give
you a horse with a whip, it's not that much of a
10
difference. If I put you into a Testarosa, okay, it's a
big difference and you're going to be confused by the
controls, but you'll go a fuck of a lot faster. And you
won't have to put up with the stench, okay? All right?
I teach a lot of metaphors and I'm vulgar cause I like it.
So, this is a very important question to learn to ask
yourself. So instead of thinking, "Where am I going to
take her on the next. no, how is this communication
structured to capture and lead her imagination? Now,
a couple of things about the language patterns. These
are some understandings I want you get, and you
don't need to write this down, this is something you'd
understand. Another problem that guys typically
have is they; they view the patterns as something
from Mars. When you first, and we'll being going
through at least half a dozen patterns here word for
word, when guys hear the patterns, they go, "Ross,
this sounds so strange, so foreign. Have you ever felt
an incredible connection with someone? You know
that click, right there, that just makes you feel totally
drawn to this person. I mean, Ross, that sounds so
goofy, that sounds fruity, it sounds gay, it sounds
completely outside the realm of anything human.
Where did you get this stuff' I was talking to Brother
Covey who's one of my marketing consultants and I
said, "You know, if I'd told people I'd channeled this
from a ten thousand year old alien from planet Bogo,
I'd probably get ten times the number of people in my
seminar.” Look, I didn't just make the patterns up out
of thin air. I got them from observing how women
think and speak in any case. And I them from
observing the natural processes of how things
happen. This is another point I want you to get.
There's no such thing as love, there's no such thing
as attraction, there's no such thing as seduction. And
I know for many of you, you're saying, "That's just
the problem, Ross, there's no such thing for me,
they're just playing with Mr. Winky.”
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Now here's what I mean. When I say there's no
such thing as attraction, there's no such thing as
confidence, there's no such thing as love, I'm not
saying that people don't experience these. What I'm
saying is they're not things like a glass or a magic
marker. Now, I know those of you who are
metaphysicians will say, "Well, Ross, these aren't
really things anyway, they're just an ongoing key to
the logical process in the intellect of human existence,
" in which case I'll slap you in the face very hard.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: But my point is, watch how language affects
you. I mean, the presupposition of our culture is so
locked into your thinking that it becomes impossible
to think outside that box unless you run into a maniac
like me who hammers you really hard for three days.
Think about it. Well, I wasn't attracted; she wasn't
attracted to me. What does that imply? It implies that
attraction is just a thing that is either there or it is not,
or it implies that attraction is like porridge in an
orphanage - you're only doled out so much on your
plate and the best you can do is go, "Please, sir, I
want some more.” And maybe you get a little bit more,
but usually you don't. Okay. Attraction is not a thing;
it is a process with a structure that takes place in the
human mind and body. This is a primary
understanding for those of you who want to learn
NLP, that everything that happens to and with
humans has a structure and a process. If you
understand the structure and process, then you can
recreate it at will - for the most part. Do you
understand?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Now, so another mistake guys will make with
speed seduction is they think the patterns, so the first
mistake is they think the patterns are stuff I've made
up out of thin air, and they're not. Okay. Second
mistake they make is, they think because if someone
talked to them that way, they won't respond well, that
women won't respond well. Okay? How many people
here have ever gone fishing? What did you bait your
hook with?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Worms. Do you like to eat worms? You don't?
What do you like to eat?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Why didn't you bait the hook with a baked
potato?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: That's right, okay, so. These patterns are not
designed to get man hot and horny, although I've had
some weird fan mail lately.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: By the way, people say, "Why don't you teach
with more reverence and seriousness? Don't you
know ...” Cause then I'd have your fucking voice in
my head and be a miserable, dried up old shrew.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Then it wouldn't be fun to teach. I mean, if I
can't offend people, what's the point?
11
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Someone who I'm deeply flattered and honored
to have as an admirer of mine said that Ross is gotta
be doing okay cause he's offending so many people,
so. Anyway, so, you have to understand these
patterns are not designed to appeal to men, they're
designed to appeal of women, and if you don't think
they have an appeal to women, I have an assignment
for you, which is go to your bookstore and go to the
romance novel section and watch how many of those
puppies go out the door. Okay? Romance novels
Major Mark will come in and to you about. By the
way, Major Mark will be here a little bit later. What a
dedicated guy. He cut short his honeymoon to come
and teach you guys. What do you think about that?
Major Mark, Major Mark, Major Mark.
Audience: (Applause)
Ross: Pretty cool, pretty neat, pretty good. I was at
his in a tuxedo, it was amazing. I was being blatant,
just absolutely blatant, with this stuff. So, anyway.
Well, I knew I'd never go back to Toledo, Ohio, for
Christ sake.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: So, anyway. The third major mistake you can
make with these patterns is to use them as a high-tech
form of begging, is to view them as a shield you put in
front of you - Gary, how are you? To use them as a
shield you put in front of yourself, okay? "Oh, please,
beautiful fox. You can accept me now cause I have
these language patterns. Ha, ha, ha.” Okay. If you
view the patterns as just a high-tech form of begging,
they'll have no power, or very limited power. You
have to use them with the right attitude. Understand
something. I want you guys to get this. Just, let's play
Let's Pretend. Let's play What if Okay? Can we play
What if for a minute?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: What if what I'm teaching is really true? What if
the patterns really do lead a woman into feeling
absolutely wonderful things in her body, in her heart,
visualizing amazing things, feeling all the things she's
always dreamed of feeling. What if, with your
language and language alone and your attitude, you
really can, make her feel things that no other guy can
make her feel? If you really can do that, do you have
to approach her with a fearful, begging mindset?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Who's doing whom the favor in that case?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Who doesn't get that? I'm not saying do you
believe you can go out and do that right now, but I'm
saying hypothetically, theoretically, that's what the
patterns really do. If I'm telling you the truth, if the
people who are in this room who have used them will
get up and tell their stories are telling you the truth,
without exaggeration, if the patterns really can lead a
woman into feeling really incredible things that no
one else can make her feel, are you hurting her,
should you feel guilty or scared or bad or like a
beggar?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Okay, I'm telling you that that's what the
patterns do do - ha _____ do do, yeah. Wow, wow,
that was cool, _____ do do.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Someone's going to say, "Ross, was that a
phonetic ambiguity you were using in an attempt to
create a negative anchor for people to move away
from when you said do do?"
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Cause, I notice you sort of like scratched your
ass when you did that. Well that's because I have 72
open anchors here and I've set them and this is one.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: No, my fucking ass itched, you know. You
know people who teach NLP, you know what, they're
human beings, a lot of them are fucked up
egomaniacs, I plead guilty. Okay? So, don't go out of
here ...
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: I do. Listen, I'm just a guy who, I'll tell you the
truth. I swear to you, I thank the universe, my higher
power, whatever you want to call it, every day for the
gift of being able to teach this and to learn this stuff. I
feel profoundly blessed in this room. You have no,
really, truly, you have no idea. That's one thing with
all my skills I could not convey to you, But, so those
are the ways to screw it up. Now the final way to
screw it up, so I'm giving you, if you want to screw it
up and make a mess of it, I'm giving you the formula
on how to do it. The final way to screw it up is to
have unrealistic expectations, on yourself. It takes
time to learn this and the way to learn it is piece by
piece. You do one little piece every day and then you
add on a bit the next day and the next day. If you lust
after results, you're going to fuck yourself up. Okay?
You want to give yourself an opportunity to learn this
at a pace that's a little bit uncomfortable. You want to
12
push outside of your comfort zone a little bit, but not
too much. And you must be willing to fuck it up. I
have said this over and over and over again and I'll
say it again. The difference between winners and
losers is that losers don't fail often enough, or they
fall in the same way over and over and over again.
Winners fail in different ways and often enough so
that they can learn to do what they need to do to
make things work. Now, the reason why I'm standing
up here and you're not is cause I have fucked it up ten
times more than all of you put together. I still go and
fuck it up, even though I know what works, I'll try
something new just to see if I can push the envelope
a little farther. I have no problem with it. I will call, I
will go on to listen, go ahead guys I tried this and it
failed miserably, what do you think? Am I lying?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Not at all. I have no problem with going, "Hey
tried that, didn't fucking work, what do you guys
think? What should I do differently?" Okay? You
must have the willingness. There's a difference
between will and willingness. Can anyone tell me
who's not a current student, someone who hasn't
already heard this before? Can anyone tell me what
the difference is between will and willingness? Take a
stab at it.
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Can we hear him with these microphones? Is
there someone who should be putting a microphone
in his face? Should he be standing there, who's doing
that?
Audience: "Willingness is being able to and will is
having it your way.”
Ross: I think that's pretty close. Will, to me, implies
that you're stealing yours elf, you're making yourself
ready to take that blow, okay? Like G. Gordon Liddy
holding the flame under his hand, you know, to prove
what a man he is. Something wrong with that formula.
I remember when I was a kid we used to have punch
in the arm contests. Well, if you're a man, you can
really take it. I go, "You win.” You know.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: No, to me a man who outsmarted the other guy.
He's walking around with a big, sore, fucking,
throbbing arm and I'm skipping along the playground
having fun. To me, will implies that boy that you're
going to have to grit your teeth, but willingness is
more of relaxed openness, that you're willing to pay
the price. I had someone call me up and, I know when
students are bullshitting me, so don't try it I've b een
in this game too long. He called me up, and he said,
"You know, I've got your home study course and this
and that course, but I'm having trouble memorizing
the patterns. I think I learn better visually. What video
tape course do you have that you would recommend?
Cause I'm really having trouble memorizing the
patterns.” I said, "No you're not.” I said, "It's not that
you're having trouble memorizing them, " I said, "you
haven't gone out and tried a single one, have you?"
He said, "No, how did you know that?" I said, "You
don't want to memorize better, you want a guarantee
that you'll do it absolutely flawlessly without fucking
it up in any way in the real world - and that's
impossible. What you need instead of a guarantee is a
willingness to screw it up a little bit. I guarantee you,
you're going to trip over your dick the first few times.”
Okay? Nothing to honk at.
Audience: (Laughter from audience - horn honking in
background)
Ross: That's called utilization. Ross, when you gaze
that way, you tilted your head at a certain angle. Was
that an analog mark to
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Yes, that one, that one there. I'm gonna get
lectured for doing that, but that's alright. Why don't
we take a five minute break.
BREAK
Ross: I thought of one other area where people can
fuck up with this, and that is, I guess way to illustrate
this is to tell you a story. I knew someone who lived
down in Kentucky and they wanted to learn how to
drive,
VOICES IN BACKGROUND
Ross: so they went to their grandpa. They said,
"Grandpa, what's the most important thing in
driving?" And Grandpa said, "Well, the most
important thing in driving is that you always check
your instruments and make sure the car isn't
overheating.” So they promptly climbed in the car and
were driving like this and _____ !!!
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Now, about six weeks later, after they were out
of the hospital, they went to their uncle. They said,
"Uncle, what's the most important thing to know
about driving?" The uncle said, "Always drive the
posted speed limit.” So they jumped on the freeway
and right in the middle of morning rush hour, they
were doing 65. _____ !! So after they scraped them
off the roadway, a couple of years later when they
13
were able to take another crack at it, they went to the
wise relative and they said, "What's the most
important thing to do when driving?" And the person
said, "Pay fucking attention and drive as conditions
permit you to do so safety.” Okay. Now. People say
to me, "Ross, I tried the pattern exactly the way you
told me to and it didn't work.” No, no, no, listen to me.
The patterns are not rules. The patterns are only
examples of the kinds of communication that you
want to be doing. Here's another key to
understanding. Remember the key to understanding?
I said there's a difference between getting a woman to
submit and getting a woman to surrender? Just very
briefly, let me touch on something else. It's what I call
- Major Mark taught me this - another great hurrah for
Major Mark. Major Mark.
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: I won't encourage him to talk more about this,
but Major Mark taught me a word. The word is
compartmentalization. Compartmentalization. Now let
me tell you what this means. It's not that women aren't
as sexual as we are. Women are equally sexual
creatures, but they're sexual in a different way. Men,
our sexuality is always there, it's always present. We
can be doing something and a beautiful babe walks
by and sproing we want to spray our seed. Okay? To
be crude about it. Women have sexual thoughts as
often as we do, but they compartmentalize them in a
different part of their mind. Our sexuality is diffused
all throughout our thinking, our breathing, our
moving, you know. Men will basically stick it in a tree
stump if they had to. Well, okay. It wasn't exactly a
tree stump. Was it a bush or a tree stump?
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: But anyway, ha ha ha, my point is, my point is
this. My point is this - that women's sexual thoughts
tend to be locked away in a different compartment in
their mind. So here's the thing I want you to
understand. There are different places in a woman's
mind. There's the place where she thinks about the
mundane, ordinary, day-to-day shit that she has to
get out of the way, like doing her laundry, like taking
her car to the mechanic, like paying her bills. The
problem when you're a dater is usually you get stuck
into that part of her mind, something she has to get
rid of or take care of. You get it?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: But the patterns are examples of the kinds of
communication that open up that other part of her
mind -that part where she puts her sexual thoughts
and fantasies and romantic ideas. You understand.
But they're not rules, only examples. Do you
understand me?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Are they examples that will work for you? But
they're only examples. That's why when we go
through them, I'm going to show you how I thought
them up and how they work so you can make up your
own. Do you get it?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: I know some people are sitting here thinking "Is
it important that I memorize all the patterns word for
word". Well, it's important to memorize at first, at first,
but then what you will find yourself doing is making
up your own stuff. That's what I want you to do.
When you can come back and show me something I
haven't made up, I jump for joy. That great cause I can
go out and steal it.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: I don't mean steal it to sell it. I mean steal it to
use it with women. Notice I didn't say on women, I
said with women. The patterns are not something you
do to a woman. Some of you still, I mean, I had a guy
say, "Ross, you know, I practiced. When I want to go
out in the real world, I just can't do it.” I said, "I know,
cause you think the patterns, running patterns with a
woman, is sort of like doing a minor crime, like picking
her pocket or stealing her watch or grabbing her ass.”
He went, "Yeah, how did you know that?" Cause I've
been doing this a long time. Okay? I've been doing it a
long time. Yes, you have a question - you're
scratching your head.
Audience: Would you give a brief definition of what
is a pattern for the newcomers?
Ross: A pattern is a language construct you use to
create a specific state of mind in that woman. For
example, you want her to feel fascinated, so you use
the fascination pattern. You want her to get horny,
you use the blowjob pattern. Okay? Whatever it is.
The pattern is a language construct that you use to
create a mindset, a certain emotional state or state of
mind in that woman. Okay? Yes sir, you have a
question?
Audience: By language construct, do you mean like a
series or combinations of phrases, words? Ross: Yes,
exactly right, exactly right. You got it. Okay? Now,
notice I said something there in answering your
question. This brings up another interesting point. I
said state of mind. Okay? Understand, there's a key to
understanding this, and that is altered states of
14
consciousness. Write down altered states. Now, all of
you have been subjected to some very serious mind
programming when it comes to the subject of altered
states. When I say altered states of consciousness,
what imagery comes into your mind, what thoughts
come into your mind, when I say altered states, what
do you think of, what do you picture ?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Drugs. What else?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Horror movies. What else?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Timothy Leary.
Audience: (Laughter and response)
Ross: Flotation chamber. Hysteria. Orgasm. That is an
altered state, isn't it? For the most part, were
programmed to view altered states as something to
avoid. And throughout human history, authorities
have attempted to control altered states. Churches
have told you any other altered state but praying
within the walls of their church is evil, wrong, bad,
and a thing of Satan.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: By the way, to borrow a joke from Richard
Bandler, a people said, "Ross, you're in league with
the devil.” "Well, I'm not in league with him, but I
have worked for him on occasion.”
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: I don't steal jokes, I give full credit to the big
guy for that. That's his. I don't know about you guys,
but I'm already having way too much fun. Hello John.
John: Hey.
Ross: Good to see you. John is one of our terror
students. He's really good.
Audience: (Responses)
Ross: So altered states of consciousness, altered
states are really neutral. You can use altered states in
a good way. Okay? Now I'm here to tell you that a lot
of speed seduction has to do with what altered state
you want to design for yourself and what altered state
you want to design for that woman. Now let me give
you an example. Pay attention up here and ignore him.
Let me give you an example of altered states of
conscio usness. Here's something you should
understand. Beautiful women put men into altered
states of consciousness. You can take a guy how
many here have a highly technical job that requires a
lot of focus and quick thinking? What do you do sir?
You, yeah you.
Audience: Computer programming.
Ross: Okay. Computer programming.
Yates: This is the end of side one.
15
Tape 1 – Side 2
Yates: This is Side 2 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed
Seduction Seminar.
Ross: Here's something you should understand.
Beautiful women put men into altered states of
consciousness. You can take a guy - how many here
have a highly technical job that requires a lot of focus
and quick thinking? What do you do sir? You, yeah
you.
Audience: Computer programming.
Ross: Okay. Computer programming. You need to
make - Hello Brother Amy - they'll leave you alone.
Come on and sit down. Okay. So. When you're doing
your computer programming job, you have to think
really clearly, don't you? Yeah, but if you took a
Penthouse Pet in a thong bikini, they put lee on her
nipples, they've rubbed her down with oil so she's
glistening as her taught, muscular body walks by.
Okay? Would you be able to focus and concentrate?
Audience: I probably make a lot of software with a lot
of bugs in it.
Ross: Yeah, okay.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: So, my point is this. What happens is beautiful
women tend to put men in a state of sputtering,
mindless lust. Just as an illustration here, I brought a
metronome. This is a really good tool that everyone
should buy. I got it at a music store, okay? Here's
usually the speed at which you speak, which is an
average looking woman. And here's the speed at
which you speak if she's somewhat attractive. Here's
the speed at which you speak if she like an utter ultra
babe. And here's what happens when she's a
goddamn goddess.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: You're flat-lined. Your brain waves are gone. So
granted that you're gonna go into an altered state.
Why not, why not design in the altered state you're
going to go in to. What if you could go into an altered
state that had maybe a little bit of lust, just to keep
you motivated, but also had a massive amount of
clarity, cockiness, intuition, having really great
intuition, creativity, fun, playfulness. What if you
could design in the altered state of consciousness
you were going to go into such that the more
attractive you found her, the more charming, the more
intuitive, the more creative you were around her.
Would that be great?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: And what if when you approached her, she
picked up on that energy so instead of her altered
state being one of terror, her altered state was one of
hmmm, this guy's cool, I've got to find out more about
him. Would that be cool?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: No, it wouldn't be cool? Well, you're not
answering.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: I'm gonna zap you. Okay. So. Does this all make
sense?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: No, someone said no? Okay. Understand, I'm
not asking can you do this now. I'm simply saying
does it make sense. Do you see how different t his is
from the dating mindset?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: We used to do it, I don't do it anymore, but,
you know, we used to do a contest. The contest was
who spent the most money on a woman and gotten
nowhere, gotten nothing.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: So, I'll open the bidding with about $350. Can
anyone top that? Who spent more than that? Come
on, fess up. Brother Phoenix, have much have you
spent and gotten nowhere?
Phoenix: I'd have to say about $5, 000.
Ross: $5, 000? Who, who was she, what was the
circumstance?
Phoenix: It was a dancer who was also a Playboy girl,
or Playboy Bunny at one of the Clubs, and when I
was younger and had lots of money, wined, dined her,
flew her places, never got anything.
Ross: Did you get a warm handshake goodnight?
Phoenix: The most I ever got was a kiss on the cheek.
Ross: Oh, you didn't even get the old warm
handshake, huh? Wow, okay. So, you know, we won't
have to worry about any of that. Now, loser, no - who
said that?
Audience: (Laughter)
16
Ross: Who said that? Bad boy. He said loser, oh, no,
no, no, no.
Audience: Ex-loser.
Ross: Ex-loser.
Audience: (Laughter and applause)
Audience: ... if the walls could talk.
Ross: Ali. Hi, my name is Bob and I'm a wankaholic.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Hi, Bob. Keep coming back- it works. Well, if it
works, why do you have to keep coming back? Uh, I
don't know, never mind. Okay. Now, I'm going to
e-mail, I'm going to get mail from AA, shit, that's all I
need. Okay, so. We're almost ready to get to the meat
of the seminar. There are basically, there are three
parts to speed seduction that we're going to be
teaching you. Throughout the weekend we'll be going
back and forth through all of these. Your state,
designing your altered state of consciousness that
you want to be in. The seductive language that lets
you capture and lead her imagination and third piece
of speed seduction, which to me is the most
important, actually, and the most difficult to design.
This of all the, I think, of all the challenges I
personally face, this is the most difficult. And this is
an example of how its continued to grow, the
conversational frameworks that let you do all this and
make it sound like an ordinary, normal, innocent
conversation. This is very important. You know, you
want to be able to Now I know some trainers who
have some good level of skill at teaching language
and languaging and language patterns, but they
conveniently leave this out. Now, they may be very
impressive in the seminar room. They can get you up
here and do all sorts of great language patterning, but
the problem is what works in the seminar room may
not work in the real world. Why? Because the
presupposition of being in the seminar is you're there
to cooperate with the instructor. Okay. If you walk up
to someone without the right conversational
framework outside of the seminar room and start
eliciting their values or whatever without any of the
right introduction or conversational framework,
they're going to look at you like you're fucking Charlie
Manson. Or they won't know how t o respond simply
because they don't know what you're talking about.
Okay. This is a very important piece and throughout
the weekend we're going to be going/alternating back
and forth between these three things. Does that make
sense?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: That okay with you? I don't care if it's okay with
you or not, cause that's what we're going to be doing.
All right, any questions so far?
Audience: No
Ross: You having fun yet?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Good. Man, we're going fast. All right. Couple
more big chunk pieces and then we'll be ready to go.
We'll get to actual patterns, weasel phrases, trance
words, all that other good stuff, Yes sir.
Audience: Are you going to indicate what is in the
notes and what we need to write?
Ross: I'll tell you when to write, okay? I'll tell you
when to write. There's going to be so much repetition
that you'll get this whether you write it or don't. The
important thing to me is not do you write it but do
you understand it. And they are going to be certain
things, in fact, there are going to be certain points in
the day where I'll say, "Okay, stop, pick a partner and
explain to him what Ross just said. Go teach your
partner what Ross just said.” The way to prove to
yourself that you really got it is if you can explain it to
somebody else. So, there will be points during the day
where I'll go, "Tell this person the most important rule
for persuasion and why it's important.” So, don't
worry about it. My answer is don't worry about it, but
if I need to you write, I'll tell you specifically you
should be writing. Otherwise, don't write. Okay? Does
that answer your question?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Good. Does it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Okay. Alright. Don't get mad at me, I'm just
trying to help. Yeah.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: You going to act impotent, you going to be
impotent. Just for a wee bit.
Audience: (Laughter) - That's why I don't act
impotent.
Ross: Good. Actually, Kim came up with a really
terribly terrific impotence pattern. I don't want her
doing that on me. She's ready to use it on any of you
guys who try to _____ her, so leave her alone. Okay.
I want to talk about the four doorways into any
woman's mind. There are basically four doorways and
the patterns I will teach you I will say, "This pattern is
good for this doorway.” Now, I know, you're going to
17
go, "Ross, what doorway should I use?" Well, if you
want to be able to get so much flexibility in your
conversation that you can experiment with different
ones. Okay? And, by the way, they're not in any
particular order, it's not like molecular element 10, 11,
12, 13. This is just the order in which I choose to write
them down, okay? For all you literal minded ... okay.
Doorway number one is the doorway of emotional
connections. If you get a woman feeling emotionally
connected, feeling strong, deep, positive emotions,
connected to you. Okay? An example of that kind of
pattern would be incredible connection, which we will
go through, word for word. Okay. That's a very
common doorway. For a lot of women, they will have
sexual feelings but in order to feel comfortable with
those sexual feelings, they have to feel this before
they act on it. They want to feel some kind of
emotional connection. Okay? Not like us. The second
doorway is getting her visualizing. Okay. If you can
get her to visualize scenes of terrific sex or you know,
fantasies, that sort of thing, you get it?
Audience: Yes. Ross: And, a lot of the patterns
partake in this. There's not, I don't know if there's one,
per se, that's only that. Number three is body
sensations. Now what do I mean by body sensations?
I mean a feeling of warmth flowing through her chest,
the feeling of her heart pounding with excitement, that
sort of thing, okay? Do you get it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: And, finally, the final doorway is asking
ques tions, asking questions, that require her to
access the core level of her identity to answer you.
Asking her questions that require her to access the
core level of her identify in order to answer you. Now,
we're going to be demonstrating this throughout the
weekend. This is basically eliciting her values. Now
let me give you an example, just very briefly. I'm not
going to do this pattern now, but just as a really quick
illustration, if I said to a woman, "What's your favorite
color?" She says, "Blue.” Does that really require her
to access who she is at a deep level of her identity?
Audience: No.
Ross: Some people didn't answer. Who didn't answer
that question?
Audience: No.
Ross: Does anyone disagree with that or not
understand? You think asking what you favorite color
is requires you to go into the core level of your
identity to answer?
Audience: Well, because colors have different
representations, like, they say
Ross: How long do you have to think about it to
answer the question?
Audience: Well, not very long, but you could turn
around and associate that question with ...
Ross: But I didn't. I simply said, "What's your favorite
color, Amy?"
Audience: I have ...
Ross: Purple, purple, right? Green? Right? Blue and
Ross.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: We're done. Okay. But if I said to you, but if I
said to you, "What's important to you about running
track?" then you have to think deeper, don't you?
Okay, that's what I mean. She's being feisty and
challenging now. I like that, good. You get this? So
everything we're doing, that we're going to teach you
in this seminar is designed to get into these
doorways. Now, here's the thing, here's the principle I
want you to get; this is very important. Very few
people, very few people know how to feel good on a
consistent basis, and even when they do, it's not a
very juicy good. Do we have lights here that fade? Let
me use this illustration. Those of you at home
listening, you're just going to have to imagine this.
We have some lights in the room that don't just turn
on and off, you can make them brighter or dimmer,
okay? These are the lights that do it? Look at these
little phony lights here, okay? All right?
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Very few people know how to feel good on a
consistent basis. They feel good when something
happens to them. But even if they do, they're feeling
good is like that. Maybe they're doing one of these
four things. But if you can get someone feeling
emotional connections and feeling great body
sensations and visualizing amazing things and feeling
in touch with the core of their identity, then you've
got their neurology doing that, and that's what
commonly known as being in love, okay? The
neurology cannot associate the difference between
and being madly in love with someone. Okay? So you
want to be careful, because you can, you're playing
with fire here, you're playing with nuclear energy. You
get it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: And you can look at different combinations of
patterns as different atom bomb designs, you know,
18
the fat man or the little boy, or you can just look at
them as different combinations of patterns. I've got
this sick, corny attraction to nuclear weapons, so,
that's how I look at it.
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: I'll tell you what really fascinates me about that
is they took the most abstract principles of physics,
the most abstract ideas about matter and energy and
they translated it into an actual, physical object that
worked. To me, that's magical. Forget about what they
did, it's a horrible weapon, but, fact is, they did
something very magical there, very magical. That's
what we need, we need that kind of thought
processing ability to solve the problems of the world.
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Yeah, it's alchemy. Yes sir.
Audience: (Question from audience)
Ross: So, I want to start by looking at some of the
basic building blocks of speed seduction which are
weasel phrases and trance words and those sorts of
things. You see, the way it works, the way we start to
capture and lead the imagination is we use stories and
descriptions. We use stories and descriptions. Now,
why it wouldn't it work ... Amy is at a party. Why can't
I just go up to Amy and instead of doing the
fascination pattern, why can't I just say, "Amy, in a
moment you're going to become totally fascinated
with me.” Everything else will fade away and just my
face and my voice will totally enrapture you, and you
will find my voice penetrating deep inside who you
are on the count three. One, two, three (snap of
fingers)" If someone walked up to you at a party and
said that, what would you do?
Audience: I'd think they're nuts.
Ross: You'd think they're fucking nuts, exactly. You'd
flee, you know. So, the thing is this. Stories and
descriptions are the vehicles we use to install states
of consciousness in people, because, there are a
couple of different reasons for this. First of all, you
tend not to resist a story. If instead I walked up to
Amy and said, "You know what I think is really
interesting about parties, is to watch to see who's not
connecting and who's really connecting.” I mean, you
ever been to a party and you didn't really know
anyone, so rather than trying to meet people, you just
sat back and watched people? You ever do that kind
of thing? And, you know, I think even though you
may not know the people, you can tell if they're really
connecting or not. You know what I mean? I mean, I'm
sure you've experienced that. You ever met someone
that just didn't, it just sssss, but on the other hand,
have you ever felt an incredible connection with
someone? I really don't know if you can imagine this
as I describe it but, you know that sense that just
feeling totally drawn, totally fascinated, okay. Now
the pattern itself is not important, but do you see how
I led into it? Okay. So, you use stories and
descriptions, because people don't resist those.
Something about the unconscious that I will teach
you, this is a very powerful lesson in any kind of
persuasion. The unconscious does not recognize
content. The unconscious recognizes form and
structure. Let me tell you what I mean by that. Listen
very carefully. Everyone knows the way stories start.
How do stories usually start?
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Once upon a time or a long time ago in a galaxy
far, far away, okay. What does that mean when
someone says a long time, and George Lucas knew
what he was doing? When they say a long time ago in
a galaxy far, far away, what part of your mind are they
turning off?
Audience: Conscious.
Ross: They're turning off the critical faculty and what
part are they telling to turn on?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: That's right. Okay, cause the mind, the
unconscious recognizes form, not content, so if you
present something in a certain format, the
unconscious goes, "Okay, time to turn off the critical
faculty and absorb everything.” This is very
profound, this is why we resist advertising, cause we
become so used to it we know it's designed to
influence and we shut off, okay? So, descriptions and
stories are far more powerful than just telling
someone, "You're going to feel this right now.” Ah,
shit, I have to feel like such a jackass, you know? So,
that's the vehicle that we're going to use to do this,
stories and descriptions. Now, there's no difference
between a profound and accurate description and a
powerful set of directions. Descriptions and stories,
when done properly, will be accepted by the
unconscious as directions, but the unconscious will
not resist it. Do you get it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Okay? So, this is what we're going to do. Now,
weasel phrases are the specific little pieces we use to
start this out. Now, there are all sorts of weasel
phrases. Those of you who have your Secrets of
Speed Seduction home study course workbook will
19
find them in here, but I'm going to go through some of
them right now. Weasel phrases are used to start this
process running. Now, one of my favorite weasel
phrases is "If you were to ...” Let's look at this phrase.
You're going to see this throughout the patterns I
teach you, you're going to see this occurring again
and again and again. So, this is the first little piece I
want you all to get. ”If you were to ... What does it
mean when I say, "If you were to think about the kind
of man you really are attracted to" what am I saying
there? I'm not, if you, if you were to imply, and I'm not
really asking you to do it, so you don't have to resist
it. You get it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: That's why I call it a weasel phrase cause like a
weasel coated with Vaseline, it just slips past any
resistance. Instead of saying directly, " I command
you to think of the kind of man you're attracted to" I
say "If you were to ...” You get it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: So, say it with me. ”If you were to ...”
Audience: If you were to
Ross: And then what you do is, you add in the
process you want them to undergo. So, if you were to
x or y or z, where x, y and z equals the process you
want them to undergo. So, let's say we wanted a
woman to get very aroused and feel horny, how
would we use this? Someone take a stab at it. Yes Sir.
Audience: You'd probably say, "If you were to get
very aroused and horny ...”
Ross: Right. Exactly. That simple. Now, we're going to
put some changes in there, we're not going to, you
now, you understand, but that's how you do it. So,
here's what you do, here's how this works. You think
to yourself, "What is the process I want them to
undergo, " and you write that process out, so "feel
real horny, become totally fascinated.” "If you were to
become totally fascinated with a person, would you
act on it right away, or would you let that urge build
and build and build?"
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Okay? Okay, if you were
to x or y or z. . Now, am I actually telling you to say x
or y or z?
Audience: No.
Ross: What are x or y or z represent?
Audience: Processes
Ross: Someone's going to yell, "Why can't it be a, b, c
or d?" It can be f u c k for all I care.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: These are just, these are just symbols. Do you
get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Okay, so if you were to. Now, I'm going to show
you some of the more popular ones. This one is really
good at getting away from supplicating. ”It's too bad
you can't ... , it's too bad you can't x, y, z. It's too bad
you can't" Now, what is "It's too bad you can't" do? It
creates a challenge, okay. Remember, here's a guide to
being incredibly successful with women. This is
important for you to understand and then write down,
so look up here. Never supplicate, never bully,
instead, instead, instead, what you have to do is
structure opportunities and offer challenges, structure
opportunities and offer challenges. And here's a good
way to do it with you language. ”It's too bad you
can't ...” Okay? Here's another weasel phrase I really
like. ”If I were to ...” What is "If I were to … imply?
Yates, you have a set of flash cards I can look at?
Cause that makes it easy to go through. No, okay. At
a break. Okay, "If I were to" what does that imply?
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Exactly. I'm not really doing it. Yes.
Audience: I was watching a movie the other night,
Indecent Proposal, and Robert Redford said
something along the lines of "Suppose, for example, I
were to offer you a million dollars" to the woman he
wanted.
Ross: Yeah. Exactly. He wanted to sleep with the
woman, he said, "Suppose I were to ... if I were to
offer you a million dollars" It's not like he really was.
One of the things that "if I were to" allows you to do
is it allows you to test a person's boundaries. ”If I
were to say to you I want to tongue your beaver till
you scream for mercy, would you beg me to start or
would you run away?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay, it's like, I didn't say that. Now, you can
put it in quotes. You can go "I can't believe how rude
some men are.” A guy walked up to a woman in a bar
and said, "If I were to tongue your beaver till you
scream for mercy" or "If I were to say to you I want to
tongue your beaver till you scream for mercy, would
you run away or open your legs and go ‘Get going,
big boy. ’"
Audience: Laughter.
20
Ross: So, with any of these, you can put them in
quotes. You can, I'm serious. You can put it in quotes
and say, "I can't believe what someone said. I was in a
bar and this person said" So, you can put it all in
quotes. Now, what's the purpose of quotes?
Remember what I said. Ask yourself what is the tool
designed to do? What is the tool designed to do?
What's the purpose of quotes? If you put something
in quotes, what does it let you do?
Audience: Distances yourself
Ross: It distances yourself from it, cause you're not
saying it. What else does it let you do?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: It lets you test boundaries, it lets you test to
see if someone's ready. So, you're there having coffee
and everything and you go, "You know, I know some
crude man at this point in the evening will look at you
and say 'I'd like to bang you till your head gets a welt
on top of it right now. ’" You know, forgive me.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Can you believe, can you imagine doing that
kind of thing all night long?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And if you see her go, if you see her go
(showing audience),
Audience: Laughter
Ross: That's You say, "You know, I have to go look at
apartments. Would you like to come with me?" and
then take her back to yours, okay?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: But, I'm serious. But if you see her going,
"Uh-huh" you know, then you know, "Of course, I
know a woman with class like you requires a much
gentler approach.” Okay. So, what are quotes.
Everything I show you, the key to getting it and to
remembering it is understanding what it's designed to
do. So, what are quotes designed to do? Say it with
me.
Audience: Distance yourself
Ross: And
Audience: Test boundaries
Ross: Who doesn't understand? If you don't, please
stop and I'll go over it until you get it. Or I'll ridicule
you till you shut up. No, I wouldn't do that. I really
wouldn't. I don't do that, I don't teach that way. I
despise people who teach that way, I think they're
pissing on a sacred obligation. Yes sir. I'm not kidding
about that.
Audience: Talking about testing, do you test with,
when I began with Yodi, if you were to say, "Would
you like to come with me" or hear, do you like look for
an unconscious response or?
Ross: Okay, let's talk about something. I understand
what you're asking, but the most important thing
about what you're asking is something else. You said,
he talking about phonetic ambiguity, which we'll get
to. Everything in a sense is a test if you're observing
for your response. If you're focused on the other
person, watching for a response, anything you do is a
test. Do you understand?
Audience: Yes
Ross: But, you said something unconscious
response. That's jargon. One thing I want to steer you
away from is jargon, okay? I know, there are people
who are looking at the 89 non-linear variables that
make up NLP. I'm going, "What the fuck you talking
about? Take an enema and try again.” Okay?
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Unconscious response, you know, just implies
that you're not getting this. I want a response that's
so strong you can be Helen Keller and see it. Okay?
All this stuff about " Watching for unconscious
responses by looking at it, what if the, you have to
look at the third quadrant of the upper eye to see if it
shifts color a little bit.” Well, if you have to look that
hard, start again and try to generate a more powerful
response. Okay? Yes. But, watching for responses,
unconscious or otherwise, is the most important
thing. We're going to give you an exercise to do later
in getting that. Okay? So, "If you were to, it's too bad
you can't, if I were to". Let's go through some more of
these. Thank you, Yates, by the way, for getting that
for me. You having fun so far?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Oh, I like this. I like this one. I like this one.
”You really shouldn't ...” Well, what does "You really
shouldn't ...” imply?
Audience: That she's going to
Ross: It means you're going to. Okay? I don't say to
you, "You really shouldn't go kick a polar bear in the
nuts" cause you're not going to do it. Okay? But
when I say "You really shouldn't feel that growing
sense of attraction now", I'm implying that it's going
to happen and she mustn't let it happen, so therefore
she's going to. This works really well with women I
21
call polarity responders, women who think the
opposite of everything you say. So, what you do is
you tell them what you don't want them to do and, in
fact, that's what you do want them to do, so they do
it, cause you told them not to do it. Yes sir.
Audience: Is it also kind of like the challenge aspect?
Ross: Yes, again it's a challenge.
Audience: Too bad you can't
Ross: Any time you structure an opportunity or offer
a challenge, you know you're on the right track.
Remember we talked about trains? You want them on
that track. Otherwise, you're going to get run over.
Okay? Here's another good one: "I invite you to
notice ... I invite you to notice" What does that
imply? It implies that whatever you mention after that
is going to happen. ”I invite you to notice what it's
like, as that sense of rapport between us grows
deeper and deeper" Okay? Another one is "Find
yourself " What does it mean to find yourself doing
something? It means it's going to happen. Okay? "It's
not important to find yourself growing really attracted
to me as the evening wears on.” You get it? These are
just the little pieces of the languaging that you are
going to see over and over and over again. Now, the
way to learn these things is to put them on flash
cards. Put them on flash cards and create your own
set of commands by going through them and going,
for each one create, think of the state you want to put
her in and then go through these and attach it to each
one of them. I don't want to spend too much time on
this. Another really good one is "Have you ever ...
have you ever felt that sense of incredible
connection.” When you say, "have you ever" what is
that really doing? "Have you ever" sounds like a
question, but it's not. It's actually a command to go
inside your imagination and remember a time when
you did. If I say to you, what's your name sir?
Audience: Dave
Ross: Dave, if I said, "Dave, I want you to feel that I'm
the most fascinating teacher that you've ever met and
you have to pay close attention and absorb
everything I teach" you're going to go, "Well, that's
nice.” But if I said, "Have you ever met someone who
is very influential in your life, someone who really
opened your mind to a new direction and really got
you thinking in a powerful way.” You know, as you're
remembering what that was like as I talked to you, as
you allow that state of mind to really grow and take
over your consciousness. If I were to say to you,
"just continue to allow that sense of absolute
fascination to grow as we talk together, I don't know
whether it will help you learn tremendously more or
just a hell of a lot more.” But it's a good thing to know
that you can take on that mindset, isn't it? Okay. So,
I'm just, I'm playing with the languaging there. You
see how it works?
Audience: Yes. That was a good one - I don't know
whether ...
Ross: Yeah, "I don't know whether ...” that's another
good weasel phrase. ”I don't know whether ...” and
then you describe what, then what you do with that
one, you describe two choices, both of which make
you win. Heads I win, tails you lose. Okay? "I don't
know whether you'll surrender to me completely by
the end of the evening or you'll just give yourself to
me with total, wild abandon.” Okay? Now, you
wouldn't just say that right up front, although you
could if you were blatant enough. One of things I
want to tell you, by the way, is the more humorous
you are, the more blatant you can be. The more
playful you are, the more blatant you can be. I'm
unbelievably blatant with this stuff. Women say,
"What do you do?" I used to hide it. But, do you
know what I tell them now? I say, "I teach hypnosis
and seduction. I teach men the difference between
getting a woman to submit and getting a woman to
surrender.” And you know what I see then? I see,
"Oooh"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Really? Tell me more.” "Well, step this way.”
And then I go right into it. I'll go, "Let me give you an
example the kind of thing I teach men to say. Boom"
It's a rough job. Someone's got to do it
Audience: Laughter. What did you used to tell
women before you told them the truth?
Ross: "Ah, well, you know, teach hypnosis, " which
is slightly true, "I teach NLP or I design nuclear
weapons.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I was in a strip club in Las Vegas in a very pissy
mood. I didn't want to go there, but my friend wanted
to seduce a stripper who works there. He gave me
some money, said "Buy some dances and just sit
there.” I was pissed off so. The stripper comes up to
me and goes, "Hi, honey, where are you in town
from?" I said, "Los Alamos.” She said, "Oh, where's
that?" I said, "Oh, it's up north.” "Well, what do you
do, honey? You a lawyer?" I go, "No, I build nuclear
weapons.” And then I looked at her and said, "You
think you're bad, don't you?" I said, "You think you
do naughty, naughty bad things for a living. You
22
think you should be ashamed of some of the things
you do, don't you? But you don't know what real
shame is. You don't know what bad is.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Bad is when you make something that could
kill millions of people, turn them into vapor in a
heartbeat.” And she's like, "Ahahahahah.” I said,
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I said, I said, "You see that table that's right
between us?" She went, "Yeah.” I said, "I built one
the size of that table that would turn the state of
Nevada into glass and every person in it into wisps of
vapor.” And she went, "Ahahahahah.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "You want a lap dance?"
Audience: Laughter. So, did she charge you for the
lap dance? Laughter
Ross: Ah, gee, oh golly, my. So, more weasel phrases.
Notice what, did we do "Notice what it's like"? I think
we did.
Audience: Yes
Ross: So, these are some of the basic building blocks
of what make up patterns. And the best way to drill in
this is to, again, go through the flash cards, make up
your own flash cards, take each weasel phrase, first
thing you do is you write down some of the states,
what are some of the states? Let's think about this.
Let's say, think of some woman who you'd really like
to sleep with. It can be someone you know, could be a
movie star, a TV actress, except Nev Campbell, leave
her alone.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: She's mine, mine, mine, all mine.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Or that contract doesn't get signed, signed,
signed. No, I'm teasing. Okay. So, imagine some
woman you'd really like to be with. You're going to get
your shot. You're going to get an hour alone with her
to talk to her. What are some of the states of mind
you want her to experience?
Audience: Fascination, connection
Ross: Fascination, connection. What else?
Audience: Oral fixation
Ross: Oral fixation? That's ...
Audience: Incredible lust
Ross: Incredible lust. Name some more.
Audience: Intrigue
Ross: Intrigue
Audience: Curiosity
Ross: By the way, what's the difference between
someone's who's interesting and someone's who's
intriguing?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: That's a very good principle for constructing
patterns. We'll talk about that later, the contrast
principle. What's the difference between one thing
and another? Okay.
Audience: An ongoing creativity of what could we do
together.
Ross: Ooh, so you want that mindset of her thinking,
"Ooo, what could I do with this guy?" Very good.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Okay. Now, some of you said oral fixation, lust.
The problem is, those are not the right things to aim at
right away, unless you're with a stripper. Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'm serious. Strippers you can aim at that right
away, but for most sane, healthy, balanced women,
for both of those women, the thing is this,
Audience: laughter
Ross: You're half of it, you're half of it, keep ... I'm
teasing. For most women, that's not the thing to aim at
first, and I'll tell you why. Cause it's just too
overwhelming. Here's the thing about speed
seduction you want to get. Speed seduction requires
you do things in the proper sequence or order. How
many people here have ever baked a cake or watched
a cake or eaten a cake that's been baked?
Audience: laughter
Ross: You want to ... For those of you heard trainers,
universal experiences, you know.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And just keep testing till you get one. How do
you know? "Well, I didn't calibrate their unconscious
...” You know, there's so much mythology and bullshit
in NLP, it's just remarkable. Oh, Lord help me to do
this job. Anyway. I'm serious, I pray before I teach
these classes, I do. I really do. It's a gargantuan task.
23
How many people here have had NLP training, by the
way? We will do our best to help you get past that
handicap. I'm serious. Okay, so, where was I?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Okay. You want to do things in the right
sequence. For most women, you want to start out by
creating a state of incredible comfort and connection
and fascination. Incredible comfort, fascination and
connection are the states you want to start with.
Why? Because that lays, haha, yeah, a sexual
metaphor you're using, Ross, it lays the foundation,
the groundwork for everything else you want to
insert, I mean everything else you want to do. Okay?
Now, how many here are self-styled nice guys? How
many people have ever been told by a woman,
"You're a nice guy"? When she's saying you're a nice
guy, what does that really mean?
Audience: Responses and laughter
Ross: Please don't say fuck in here, say bang, bump
uglies, screw, make, do the groan up.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: That's good.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Well, what it really means, that's partially what
it means, but also what it means is, look, translated
from the female languaging, what it means is, "look,
the only thing I feel around you is casual comfort and
enjoyment and that's all I reel around you.” That's
what she's really, the report that she's giving you with
her feelings is that. It's very important to take your
attention off what you want, off your own desire and
pay attention to how she's responding with her
imagination and her feelings, her imagination and her
emotions. Ask yourself the question, don't ask, "How
can I get into her pants" and don't think, "Oh my God,
my pink torpedo is ready to sail home.”
Audience: laughter
Ross: Instead, pay attention to the right thing.
Remember the guy who was looking at the
instruments instead of at the road and he crashed in
the story I told?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Okay. Forget about the fact that that person
has something you really want and instead, pay
attention to the structures in their mind that you can
use to lead them where you want them to go and that
implies that you're paying attention to them. Watch
how they're responding with their emotions and their
imagination. Okay? And the thing is this. When a
woman says to you, "I think you're a nice guy" what
she's saying is "I can't experience anything around
you except casual comfort and enjoyment.” Is that
correct Brother Amy, essentially? She's nodding her
pretty head yes. Okay? Now, understand something.
This is very profound. If you get this, it's a really big
piece. I'm talking about a huge piece that will do you a
world of good.
Audience: laughter
Ross: I want to erect a new structure for you to pay
attention to, okay? Cause, I really want you guys to
move in a new direction and the thing about new
directions, magnificent new directions, is this. You've
really got to grab hold of them, take them in as far and
as deep as they'll go, join with them, make them part
of who you are. You understand?
Audience: Yes
Ross: All right, good.
Audience: Response and laughter from audience.
Ross: Okay. The thing is this, is if the only ... Let's say
you're a really great looking guy. Let's say you
happen to have the exact fact and body she likes,
okay? What response will she have when you walk
into the room?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: She'll feel some physical sensations in her
body. You get one of the four doorways. Which of
the four door-ways do you get by virtue of the fact
that you're a really good-looking guy? Do you get
deep emotional connections?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Do you get, right, you get body sensations.
She feels that little buzz, you know, and maybe the
little man in the boat starts to rock a little bit.
Audience. laughter
Ross: For those of you who don't know what I mean,
we have a remedial class to teach ...
Audience: laughter
Ross: Okay? So. Okay, so, the thing is this, is, when
she tells you you're a nice guy what she's really
saying is she's giving you a report on her state of
mind when she's around you. Do you get it? So, what
you want to learn to do is create deeper states than
that. You want to learn to create states of feeling
totally comfortable like she's known you forever, like
she's meant to know you, and feeling totally
24
fascinated, feeling completely connected. Why?
What does that open her up to fe el next?
Audience: Deeper emotions
Ross: Deeper emotions and ...
Audience: Body sensations
Ross: Body sensations and it gets her visualizing,
okay? Here's the sad thing. Men have sexually
repressed women. Men have taught women through
enculturation that's it's not right or okay for women to
have sexual feelings simply cause they're sexual
creatures. And now we're paying the price. The price
we're paying is we have to create all those things first
for them to do the ugly with us. Okay? Do you get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: That’s our fault. When you oppress it comes
back to haunt you. Now we have to fix the problem by
giving them what they think they need first. But that
can be done without flowers, gifts, candy, dates. It
can be done through your language. Do you get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Okay, so. That's what we're going to aim at. So,
the first kind of state you want to aim at, unless you're
dealing with a stripper, now when you're dealing with
a stripper, they don't, in their mindset, in their model
of the world, there is no such thing as an emotional
connection. To them, connections have to do with
excitement and the next thrill ride. That's what you
have to offer them. If you talk to stripper about
incredible connections she'll look at you like you're
speaking Greek. She won't get it. But for, outside of
that, generally speaking, you want to create states of
fascination and connection. Yes.
Audience: It seems that when somebody tells you
you're a nice guy, they're saying also you're not
threatening, and t o what extent do you think that
having some element of danger or mystery is
important to also opening up ...
Ross: It is important. It is important. But look, what if,
what if you could have danger and mystery without
being an idiot? What if you could have danger and
mystery without being a bully? That's what I want to
teach you how to do. Cause here's the thing. If you
can make a woman on the one hand feel totally safe,
totally comfortable, and on the other hand feel totally,
wildly passionate, you're going to get quite a ride.
Okay? And this is part of the difference between
submission and surrender. Submission implies she's
been broken, she's been beaten, someone's broken
her will, someone's got power over her, she's been
defeated. But surrender, surrender is when she sighs
that sigh of relief because she's finally come home.
She's come home to someone who's mature enough to
see the woman that she is, experienced enough to see
the woman who's emerging and strong enough to
make her feel totally protected as he takes his
pleasure with her and leads her in a completely new
direction. Do you understand?
Audience: Yes Ross: So that's what I want to show
you - how to be that kind of man. Cause when you're
that kind of man, ... Yes?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Yeah, he was going "Mm hmm"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Now, when you meet that kind of man and you
know, ...
Audience: laughter
Ross: Have you ever wanted something really badly
and you just couldn't get it and suddenly it gets
closer and closer and closer
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'm not going to play with her because she's my
guest. I promised I wouldn't.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's hard to cross your fingers with these great
big rings. Okay? Does this make sense?
25
Tape 2 – Side 1
Yates: This is Side 3 of the Ross Jeffries Speed
Seduction Seminar
Ross: This is Brother John. Give him a big hand.
Audience: Applause
Ross: What I'll be doing is interrupting from time to
time to show you what he used, so this isn't just an
entertaining story. Go ahead Brother John.
Brother John: Well, I kinda tried to distance myself
from looking like I'm doing patterns. I do do patterns,
but they usually don't show because they're not a full
pattern. Not like this pattern or that pattern. Just
throwing little elements here and there, you'll be
surprised at the results you'll get.
Ross: Well, you had a recent success that you
shared, right, on the list. Is that correct? Was that
you?
Brother John: Oh, the Italian girl.
Ross: Yeah, talk about her.
Brother John: Well, we were walking down the streets
of Florence and, we saw this guy and a girl. They
were trying to pick people up to go to this bar that
was sort of an American sports bar. So, ah, I was
there with three friends, or two friends, there was
three of us, and we decided to go. She was gorgeous,
dark hair, beautiful eyes, um. So we decided that's
where we're going to go. So we went in and there's
nobody else in this place, just her and the owner. And
my friends were just hitting on her left and right,
telling her she's beautiful, telling her everything they
thought she wanted to hear, and that wasn't it. She
wanted more. She wanted to know that there was
something else because she thought she looked like
every other Italian girl. And she kind of did -long,
long dark hair. So, uh, did the finger-point thing. That
is great, that is surprising and she just melted. Her
eyes rolled up into her head and ... my friends were
looking at ...
Ross: That's a yes signal, by the way. That's a good
one.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: The finger-point thing, by the way, is when
you, is when you, for those of you at home, you have
to, you have to imagine this at home, Buy the
videotapes - you'll see it on there. It's when you talk
about how you can feel that wonderful connection
right (pause) there. And the finger goes right to her
solar plexus and what you have to do is, you have to
look at your finger. They will follow where you're
looking. So you don't go right there, you look at your
finger, you go right (pause) there. And this is where
they feel the connection. Yeah. So she melted.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Yeah, you can tell ... And here's the thing. This
is also what I call they think they're, you're about to
touch their breasts, so imagine he's a chick, with,
these are boobs, so you go right (pause) then they're
going, you'll see their chest start to heave like, "Is he
going to touch my tits?" And then you go, go ahhh,
the relief.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Go ahead. Yes, Chris.
Chris: What do you say right before the finger point?
Ross: You know, my sense, my sense about you is
when you feel a connection with someone, you feel it
right (pause), they go, "Oh my god, he's going to
touch my tits.” Yeah, oh, it's what I call the intrusion
principle. You intrude just a little bit. Go ahead. So
what happened?
Brother John: Just doing this brings on the
Ross: So what happened to her? So what happened
with her?
Brother John: Urn, well, you know, we talked awhile,
uh, she didn't have a boyfriend, 22, uh, fascinated by
blond guys. She said that that's, that was common
there because there's not so many blondes. So that
made it kind of fun. It was like being on the other end
of the stick.
Ross: Come one, let's get to the details, talking about
the end of the stick.
Audience: Laughter
Brother John: Hey, I was only in Florence two days. I
got a great kiss out of it, got her, got her address and
phone number, we've been talking, she's been
correcting my Italian.
Ross: Okay, good. Okay. Are there any more juicy
stories? Didn't you have more juicy stories than that?
Brother John: That was my favorite cause she was
absolutely gorgeous.
Ross: Ah, cool, okay. You don't want to tell the other
26
stories?
Brother John: No, not on tape.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Not on tape, okay, so he's going to be
conservative. Brother Danny, you come up. Okay.
Brother Dan. How old are you Brother Dan?
Brother Dan: 41
Ross: And how old is your girlfriend?
Brother Dan: 20
Ross: But she just turned 20?
Audience: Yeah
Brother Dan: She just turned 20.
Ross: So, you used, you rogered her when she was?
Brother Dan: 19
Ross: And you were how old?
Brother Dan: 40
Ross: But that's impossible - 40 year old men have to
spend six weeks of hanging out till they get a positive
signal that she wants to talk to you.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Never mind. Go ahead, tell the story.
Brother Dan: I saw these two really beautiful women
at this psychic fair and they were sisters. One was
very attractive and the other one was not so
attractive. So, I'm watching them and as they're
leaving, they're complaining and they're at the desk
trying to get their money back. And they're very
upset about it. So, I kind of just walked close to them
as they were leaving the psychic fair. And I just
walked up and I say, "Well, what am I going to say to
them that, you know, will catch their interest?" So, I
said, "So you're just at the psychic fair?" and I said,
"Did you just have a bad experience?" cause, and
they're going, "Well, yeah, we did.” So I said, "Well,
what am I going to do here?" So I went up to them
and I said, "Well, you very, very lucky because I have
a magical cure for that.” And I was thinking of this, so
we're walking down the street, side by side,
Ross: Stop. So, what's his formula? His first formula
is, I want you, this is why I interrupt. I interrupt to
give you what he's doing. First of all, he observes
what's going on. Then he says, he goes into his
intuition and then you said, what was the question
you asked yourself?
Brother Dan: Did you just have a bad experience?
Ross: So, what was the question you asked yourself,
though?
Brother Dan: What can I notice about them?
Ross: Yeah. What can I notice that I can use? Yeah.
What can I notice that I can. This isn't rocket science,
it's pretty simple. Now, notice what he didn't do. He
didn't look and go, "Oh my god, look at that fucking
ass. I can just imagine when I'm sticking my tongue so
deep in there that I'm massaging her inner, you know,
her small intestine, um urn um.” He didn't pay
attention to his feelings of lust and the other side of
the cover he didn't go into "Oh my god, look at them.
They're only 19 years old and I'm a 40-year-old fart. I'll
never get my ...” He just, instead, he focused outside,
he put his attention out here. He said, "What can I
notice that I can use?" Go ahead.
Brother Dan: So the next thing I did was I just, I sort
of reached into my side like this and I just said, "I've
got this light saber thing.” So I just went, you know
like the Jedi thing, and I went, buzzzz, and I threw her
my hand and I just, we were walking down the street
with these people talking. But I was bold and I
believed I could get away with it. I guess that was
something, my state was good. I had like a really
powerful state. But I took that thing and swung it
over their heads, right, and I said, "Now don't you feel
better?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And what did they say?
Brother Dan: Oh, they said, "Yeah, I feel better.”
Then, especially the really pretty 19 year old one that,
you know, had had the experience and she was
smiling and laughing.
Ross: That's called the light saber pickup. Now, you're
going to go, "Excuse me, mroing.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: There's something called context. Put it in the
right context. He noticed they were having bad
thoughts and images in their minds, so he went zoom.
Cut them right off. Now, notice when he said he had a
bold attitude. The bolder and more outrageous you
are, the better you can do with this. People want to be
led. People are also hypnosis machines, if you know
how to lead them properly. Go ahead. And you were
playful, too.
Brother Dan: Yeah, I was very playful. I ...
Ross: Were you lustful?
27
Brother Dan: I, she was, when I saw her standing with
her back to me at the counter, her, she had the, a
pouty, kind of round butt thing.
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Dan: I was a little bit lustful. But, I managed to
put that in its place so that I could enjoy it later.
Ross: Did you hear what he said? That's profound.
Say it again. You managed to what?
Brother Dan: I managed to put that lust in its place ...
Ross: So you could what?
Brother Dan: Enjoy it later.
Ross: Right. If you pay attention to your own desire
you will erect a barrier, I'm serious, between you and
her. You see, if you view people as a task that you
must complete, you'll break all rapport and they'll
resent you. Go ahead.
Brother Dan: So, we just continued walking down the
street and I had their attention and I was dropping in
weasel phrases and some trance words and I had their
attention for probably three or four blocks, and, but
then we realized that we were going nowhere. Right?
But they were entranced
Ross: What do you mean you realized you were going
nowhere? You were walking nowhere?
Brother Dan: We were just walking
Ross: Ah
Brother Dan: and
Ross: Right
Brother Dan: and directing, so I said, "Why don't we“
Ross: Wait a minute. You had two women there and
you were doing with both of them? "I thought that's
an insoluble problem. What if there are two girls there.
One of them is going to try and get in the way, and ...
I can't do this in front two women.” Yeah. Go ahead.
Brother Dan: So I said, "Let's go, why don't we go for
coffee?" So we walked another couple of blocks and
went for coffee. And, at that point, I was running
patterns on them, I was doing the blow job, I was
doing anchoring, I was doing all these things, and
Ross: Which we'll show you all.
Brother Dan: Particularly with the, with the younger
one, you know, I was doing anchoring till like, a really
great feeling,
Ross: Right.
Brother Dan: You know, where you loop it around,
that sort of thing, and getting amazing responses from
them, like they were trancing right out where they
were
Ross: How could you tell they were trancing?
Brother Dan: They weren't saying anything, they had
that, their eyes were fixed on me, and they weren't
blinking very much. They were just there.
Ross: Now. Did you have to look real closely to see
it? Did you have to put yourself in a super-attenuated
state of super observation and look at the little twitch
in the lower lip?
Brother Dan: No.
Ross: No.
Brother Dan: When somebody's, when somebody's
there,
Ross: Major Mark.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark,
Mark, Mark, Mark.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Now the gang's all here. Hi, buddy.
Mark: Yeah, how you doing?
Ross: He cut short his honeymoon to be here. How
do you like that?
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Go ahead.
Brother Dan: So, I mean, you realize it very, very
quickly because people don't usually like, you know,
Amy, when we were talking at lunch last year? I mean,
you know when somebody's going there. Their eyes
defocus and they, when it's profound, I mean, you see
it instantly and they just stop talking. They, and they
really pay attention. So, then
Ross: Then what did you do?
Brother Dan: Ah,
Ross: So, what is he doing? He's constantly focusing
outside, watching them. External focus. Go ahead.
Brother Dan: That little coffee thing ended up taking
about 2 hours. Ross: Two hours, wow.
Brother Dan: And they were just, they were, they
were gone and I said, "Well, you know, it was time for
us to go home now, blah, blah, blah.” So, I drive them
28
both home and I said, "You know, "
Ross: How old was the older one, by the way?
Brother Dan: 25.
Ross: Ahhhhh.
Audience: Laughter and response fro m audience
Brother Dan: So I said, "You know, " I did a negation
thing, I said, "It's really too bad that we won't have
another opportunity ...”
Ross: It's too bad that we don't, we won't have
another opportunity to connect. So what did he do?
Did he say, "I'd really like to see you girls again"? He
offered a challenge. What did I say to you? Structure
opportunities or offer challenges. So he said, the exact
language was, "It's too bad
Brother Dan: It's too bad we won't have another
opportunity like this to get together or something like
that.
Ross: Right. It's too bad we won't have another
opportunity to get together like this again. Now what
in the mind of any woman is that going to cause her
to do?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Oh yes we will.
Brother Dan: They said, "We want your number. We
want to talk to you again.”
Ross: Okay.
Brother Dan: So, about two weeks lapses.
Ross: Now, he could've blown it. He could have said,
"Well, you know, you girls, you girls are so great,
now I'd really like to talk to you again, and"
Brother Dan: About two weeks lapses and I get this
phone call.
Ross: So, you didn't hear from them for two weeks?
Brother Dan: Well, we were supposed to get together
a week later. They got, one of them got the flu and
then,
Ross: Yeah, that happens. By the way, that kind of
thing does happen.
Brother Dan: So, about two weeks later they phoned
me up, on like a Wednesday and they say, "There's
this birthday party and we'd like you to come to it,
you know. A friend of ours is having a birthday, so
come to this, it was like ...”
Ross: Where you can meet other 18 and 19 and 20
year olds?
Audience: Laughter.
Brother Dan: It was like a cigar, it was like a martini
cigar
Ross: No hard core _____ . Go ahead.
Brother Dan: So, I said, "Sure, why not.” So, I'm ...
Ross: I must admire
Brother Dan: So, I go there to pick them up and,
surprise, surprise. One of them's not there. Guess
which one?
Ross: The 25 year old wasn't there.
Brother Dan: That's right. And, the other one ...
Ross: Her parakeet had an existential crisis, see?
Audience: Laughter.
Brother Dan: Well, actually, she had gone ahead and
her sister was waiting for her, but she was really
excited and enthusiastic. So, we get, we get to this
bar, we park and we're walking along the street, and,
for some reason, I just put my arm out like this and I
said, "You know, I don't know, people are going to
start thinking that there's more going on here, you
know, if they see us together like this.” _____ goes
good.
Ross: Yeah, _____ which is good, a very good boy.
Audience: Laughter.
Brother Dan: And we're just ...
Ross: Very good.
Brother Dan: And she's smiling and laughing, you
know, and, she's like, cause she's getting into it. We
walk in, we sit down, and this was the clincher. What I
did, was I, I think it was kind of like part of the bj
pattern.
Ross: Yeah. Blow Job pattern. Thank you.
Brother Dan: And, you know, I said something about
chocolate, and I said, "You know what I especially
like? Is when I take that chocolate ...
Ross: Stop. He's describing his own experience. What
did I say? Stories and descriptions. By describing his
own experience, was does it allow her to do?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: She can imagine for herself, she doesn't have to
resist it, it's not about her. Go ahead.
Brother Dan: So, I said, "You know what I really love
29
to do? Is I like to take some of that chocolate that isn't
just too sweet and put it in my mouth and then I like
to take a sip of really wonderful red wine and mix
those flavors together inside my mouth.” And then I
go, "You know, and I'm sure and you can't imagine.”
And she says, "I love to do that, too.”
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: But I'm telling you, the way I described
it, and I'm not going into all the details, the pattern
and stuff
Ross: Right.
Brother Dan: But, I mean, at this point she's going,
"Don't do this to me, not here. Okay?"
Ross: Don't do this to me? Not here.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: What is she trying to tell me? Do this to
me, but not here.
Ross: What is she saying? Take me where we can be
alone. So what happened then? By the way, that's a
green light. Go ahead.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: So anyway, we, we went out dancing to
a club and she'd go, I mean at this point we did, I did
some safety things with her and she goes ...
Ross: Whoa. Would you explain your thinking behind
that? Why did you do safety things with her?
Brother Dan: Well, safety's really important, I mean,
there's, you know, women are, can be quite fearful
about their safety and the type of person that,
especially if they've just met them and talked with
them for 2 hours. That's not a long time. You know,
so, you want to make them feel comfortable so that
they can open up to more exciting adventures. And,
so we went to this club and it was interesting because
it was like the rest of the people in the club
disappeared and I said, ...
Ross: For whom? Who were the rest of the people?
Brother Dan: For both of us, because I went, I _____ ,
I go right there with them all the time.
Ross: Listen to what he just said. Say it again.
Brother Dan: I go right there with them every time.
Ross: One of the keys to leading someone into a state
to experience some of that state for yourself. Now, I
didn't say experience it fully cause then you might
lose some control, but experience some it for yourself,
and you go first.
Brother Dan: And I remember really clearly what I
said. I said, "Isn't it interesting ...”
Ross: Isn't it interesting.
Brother Dan: "how you can feel totally safe here in
this ...” And this is a place where they metal
detectors, okay. It was very alternative place, right?
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: And it ...
Ross: I should, we should get some of those.
Brother Dan: Just when you're, and when you're
together with someone, it feels like everybody else is
just out there and you're almost here on your own
with me. And, it really was like you could feel really
comfortable, like, I don't know if you've ever been into
a bar where there's lots of people drinking, and,
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Dan: And loud and things like that. And it
really just didn't matter. The rest of it was outside of
our experience at that point in time.
Ross: What did he do? He disappeared the world and
made it just her and him together in that special place
where they can explore anything that they can make ...
Brother Dan: And feel safe.
Ross: And feel safe doing it. He disappeared the
world for her. You ever heard of those songs, listen to
love songs. When you're, you disappear the world for
me, and all that other bullshit.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: So, you know, we went there, danced a
little bit. She was getting very, very provocative with
her dancing.
Ross: Oh? What does that mean?
Brother Dan: I don't know. It was another green light?
Ross: How was she being provocative?
Brother Dan: Urn, you know, she was like, arms up in
the air, lots of hip action ...
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Brother Dan: You know, it being very
Ross: Someone give me a towel. Go ahead.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: So we go to a, after that all ends, we go
30
to a friend's place for pizza and, you know, that's
when I spent, you remember you told me you'd slap
my hands for that? I spent like $3 and $5 for the pizza
or something.
Ross: How much did you spend?
Brother Dan: It was, I think the whole evening was
about $5 or $6 cause we bought drinks. I know, I
know.
Ross: You spent $5 to have beautiful 19 year old
goddess fall in love with you and ...
Brother Dan: They bought me drinks and I bought
them drinks and then, I threw in some, like, pizza or
whatever it was. It was under $ 10. And so, you know,
we get to the evening and I think I did a few more
patterns with her. She sat down with me. The, the next
thing that happened, she says, "It's time to go.”
Right.
Ross: It's time to go.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: And we were the first ones to leave ...
Ross: She's a 19 year old girl getting aggressive with a
40-year-old man.
Brother Dan: And so, and we go, and I said, "You
know, " I did something like, you know, I asked her,
you know, where would she feel comfortable about
going with me, right? And she says, "Well, let's go
back to your place.” We go back to my place and ...
Ross: Now, more green lights. Not "Oh, you know, I
have to get up early for work tomorrow.” All those
mechanisms are now working in his favor.
Brother Dan: Yeah. And I did lots of, some things on
the way home to sort of build it just gradually. We get
home. I did not ask for anything. And, remember, you
said, Ross says that ...
Ross: Say it again.
Brother Dan: I did not ask for anything.
Ross: When you ask, you're supplicating. Go ahead.
Brother Dan: Ross says if you have to ask, you're
doing it wrong.
Ross: Right.
Brother Dan: Right? So, you know, we're there and, I
think I poured some wine, and ...
Ross: Were you at any point thinking to yourself,
"Jesus Christ, this really works!"
Brother Dan: This really works.
Ross: She's like ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Ross wasn't lying.
Brother Dan: We poured some wine and I did some
Ross: By the way, hang on just a second.
Brother Dan: And then I used some of the gates, you
know. ”We really shouldn't be moving too fast, da da
da da.” So that I really distanced it from myself. The
next thing I know,
Ross: Slow down. Negation is, you say, you really
shouldn't be doing this, it's not important for you to
feel this, we can't do this. What are you doing?
You're taking all the resistance she would voice and
you're voicing it for her, so she doesn't have to, and
you can both push it out-of the way. Go ahead.
Brother Dan: At that point, she puts her hand in my
hand, and leads me upstairs, and ...
Ross: She leads you upstairs in your house?
Brother Dan: Yes.
Ross: How did she even know where the bedroom.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: She's done this b efore.
Audience: laughter.
Brother Dan: To be honest with you, she was not
very experienced. This was only her second time.
Ross: Okay. But she took you upstairs.
Audience: _____ sixth sense.
Ross: She took you upstairs and what happened
then? (Heavy breathing)
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: And, we made, you know, we
Ross: Was she aggressive when she took you
upstairs? Did she jump on you?
Brother Dan: She was, no, she was very, she, I mean,
she let me lead after that.
Ross: Okay. Those are green lights, you know. So.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: And, you want to know what? I've got
to tell you, I mean, this person is still involved in my
life. And you know what? We have, she can, she just
31
loves the experiences I give her. She just goes, her, all
of her friends go, I mean, they accept me completely
as being a very good thing in her life cause I do a lot
of wonderful things, I give her, I do patterns with her
to improve her school, to get her focused on right
things,
Ross: Yeah, you don't do that till after they're sleeping
with you.
Brother Dan: Yeah.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan; So I give her lots of good things
Ross: Trust me. I'm not trying to be fecitious or
sarcastic or ...
Brother Dan: Cause then you're her therapist ...
Ross: But then you're her therapist, and then, then
you don't get it.
Brother Dan: So I mean, just, just to add onto that, so
I do a lot of really positive things with her. And what
her girlfriends say is, and this is where, we're out at
another birthday party this last week, they go, "They
want what she has.”
Ross: Ohhhhh.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: I want what you and ...
Audience: Do you offer it?
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: I'm not going to use my name again, but
they, and I'm going, now, that's a, that's, that's really
Ross: Now
Brother Dan: that's a lot of ambiguity in there.
Ross: Now, has, is he hurting her, has he done
something terrible to her, has he tricked her or robbed
her of something?
Audience: No
Ross: No, he's done something wonderful that no
snot-nosed 19 year old punk her age could ever give
her. Yeah?
Audience: Unless they've been trained by Ross.
Ross: That's right. Thank you.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: What did it cost him? Five bucks.
Audience: He's communicated and he's connected
with her more than anybody else ever has.
Ross: Say it again.
Audience: He communicated and connected,
Ross: Not just that.
Audience: more than anybody else
Ross: He's communicated in ways that she
understands. Now to an outside observer who is
watching the first night he was talking to those girls,
they would think he was a fucking lunatic. They
wouldn't get it, okay?
Brother Dan: I had eyes closed, I bad them pointing to
pictures, I had them moving pictures around, I had
them zip anchor,
Ross: Now the fact, we'll, we'll
Brother Dan: People would've thought I was very
strange.
Ross: Now, now, now the fact that they were at a
psychic fair give you a clue that they're open to that
kind of stuff. If you were going to like the skeptical
inquirers meeting, you know,
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You might have, so you picked a good hunting
ground whether you knew it or not, but the fact is, he
went at it with the right attitude, which is not "Oh, I've
got to make it work, but _____ Right?
Brother Dan: Exactly.
Ross: I think you should give him a huge hand.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Microphone over there please. Could we get a
mike ... You can use my mike to answer, so, just talk
into my tit.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Yes.
Audience: Someone asked, this may be jumping
forward a little bit, but at any point does she know
that if you let on that you're doing any of these
patterns or have you informed her at all that you're
involved in this in any way?
Brother Dan: She knows that I do lots of mind things.
I tell her that very, very clearly. I've done things with
her mom, we’re just talking about almost therapeutic
things for her mom, and she, when she tells me ...
Audience: laughter
32
Brother Dan: I gave her mom hope at a Christmas
party. I don't know how, I know exactly how I did that
cause I planned to do that, that was what I wanted to
...
Ross: You gave her mom hope? What did hope say
about it?
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: Her mom ... Yeah, I know ... Her mom ...
Ross: _____
Brother Dan: Her mom was in a bad state, her mom
was in a bad state, and I did some change things with
her. But what she does is she goes, do you know,
you're amazing? And she goes you touch people
wherever you go and the reason she says ...
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: You want to know what I tell her?
Seriously, seriously. What I did, I say, and I, and I
touched them deeply inside.
Audience: Laughter.
Brother Dan: You know, I go on and on
Ross: He's not being, wait, you're not being ...
Brother Dan: But I do that, I really do that.
Ross: He's not being cynical, he means it, he means it.
Brother Dan: I don't know when, when we were at that
place, you know, that woman said, "You know,
remember we were by that shop in Hawaii?" and I
said, I walked up to her and I do use a lot of intuition,
I mean that's something you're going to find as you
start to pay attention, intuition is just awareness of
things that are there that you just haven't paid
attention to yet, but you will. I said, "It looks like
you've got a back injury, right, or you have some ...”
Remember she said that? She goes, "How did you
know?" I go, well she's like, I could see her neck was
stiff and things like that. She thought I was psychic,
blah, blah, blah, and, you know, what do we do with
her? We connected with her and we got her past her
fear. Her fear was she had been to a chiropractor who
had screwed her neck up. And it had been screwed up
for a year and I said, what I did was, we did some
change work, _____ during the week ...
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Dan: We moved some picture around where
she could have the courage to go out and find a
proper chiropractor. Okay?
Ross: Okay, you don't want to ...
Brother Dan: and get it taken care of.
Ross. - I don't want you to get into that. I want you to
stay out of the therapeutic mindset. This is. you
know' ...
Brother Dan: Okay. But I do touch people wherever I
go and I like playing, with this stuff, and the more I
play with it. the better I get at it.
Ross: He like playing with it. I want, one of the things
we're going to be doing today is installing that playful
attitude into you, getting you past the "Oh my god,
while I ---------------" Get you past all that.
Brother Dan: Ross, can I say one more thing?
Ross: That I'm great, I'm wonderful? Yeah, you may
say that
Brother Dan: The one thing that, you know, that Ross
talks about in terms of dating and things like that ...
Ross: _____
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: It is about choice. I was 39 years old. I
had gone out and, I had gone out and through my life
I said, "If I get better, if I make more money, if I drive
the right car, if I get the right degree, women will like
me.” And I fall, I fell into the trap of more better. If I
get more better, I'm going to finally get the success
with women I rightly deserve and so do you all. Do
you want to know what? I was really, I realized that
that game wasn't working and I came to Speed
Seduction by, by the greatest of good fortune. I'm
going to tell you that right now cause I've used it in
business, used it in my personal life,
Ross: It doesn't work for anything but getting laid.
Brother Dan: And they shouldn't think that over and
over again as they try to experiment with it every day
for the rest of their lives.
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Dan: The thing that I want to tell you today - I
have choice. I am not, I mean, how many people have
been in a relationship where they say, "I don't know if
I should get out of this because I don't know if I'll find
anything better?" Well, what if you had the choice,
what if you had the choice to go for more every time,
independent of how good things were today? You
had the choice. That is like one of the greatest gifts
that I, that I've, I've got at this point in my life. It
would have been great that if I had, if I had it 20 years
ago, but I look at my life as being a whole new
adventure from today forward.
33
Ross: A whole new adventure. Now, here's the thing
is, is, no understand. He has choice about being a
bully without being abusive, without exploiting
anyone, he has choice through doing wonderful
things for people, for making, for leading them into
feeling things they could never feel before. So, no one
loses when you do this. Everyone wins. That's the
really cool thing.
Audience: The first choice that he made was to
succeed because what mindset you described about
the more better, You were talking about, by definition
you can not win, because the condition for winning is
you must get more, which means you're not there yet.
Is that true?
Brother Dan: It's the trap of more better.
Ross: Who benefits by that trap? The people who are
selling you the more better things. So they want to
keep you in that mindset. I'm here to break you out of
it. So I'm fighting against however many years you've
been our culture exposed to this, but in three days, I'm
going to do it.
Audience: Applause.
Ross: Thank you.
Audience: Applause.
Ross: Now, since he talked about attitude, I want to
talk a little bit about the proper attitude and the right
attitude. Major Mark, would you come up just for a
minute? I just, this is my pal.
Audience: Applause.
Ross: He actually got to see me a tux. It was
wonderful, wasn't it?
Major Mark: We have photos.
Ross: You have photos. Talk a little bit about the
attitudes. We're going to do a module here on
attitudes. Talk about the attitude of the romantic hero
from, from romance novels, would you?
Major Mark: Okay, okay. Hi Amy.
Ross: She's cool.
Major Mark: Well, so are the rest of you.
Ross: She's really cool, okay?
Major Mark: How many here have heard, read, seen
me before so I know where to start? Okay, and the
rest of you should.
Audience: Laughter.
Major Mark: I did a research project because I study
people for a living, I play with people for a living. And
one research project I did was I was trying to figure
out why the hell do so many romance novels sell. I
mean, I don't know if you know this, but over half of
all books sold in North America today are romance
novels. Now think about that. That's 51% as of last
year. That means 49% of all books sold encompass,
are literature, politics, religion, all the forms of human
endeavor, 51% of all books sold are women's romantic
fantasies. Now, does this tell you something? Could
there be an unfulfilled yearning out there somewhere?
Audience: Laughter.
Major Mark: So, I said, I thought I'll find out all about
this, so I went out and I bought one, took it home, I
tried to read it. I got about five pages into it, I didn't
know what the fuck they were talking about.
Ross: Laugh Major Mark: Okay? It was like, it's in
English but it's a different language. Okay. So I
started trying to break the whole thing down because
that's what I do. I look for the building blocks of
human behavior. And what I found is that there's a
code to these things they're written in, and in fact,
there's a really, really good guide to this code. There's
a book out there called DANGEROUS MEN,
ADVENTUROUS WOMEN. Okay. It's a compilation
of essays published by University of Pennsylvania
and it's all about romance novels, written by the
women who write romance novels. And one of the
essays in there was absolute gold. Okay? It dealt with
what are characteristics, what are the attributes of the
romantic hero? And I thought, being a businessman
and an astute observer and someone who just loves
women, if I could just find out what it is that drives
these women to buy this huge number of books. I
mean, you go to a bookstore and you see these
women flocking into these aisles, you know, I mean,
they come in there, it's like a pornography reflex. You
know, they're checking out "Is anyone going to see
me buying this trash?" Okay? I mean, and it's who
you might expect. I mean, it's not the overweight
housewives with the three screaming brats or
anything. You see the sharp career women in their,
you know, their suits and their pumps and their
briefcases and all this. And they're coming in and
they're buying these romantic fantasies and they're
stashing three or four of these into their briefcase at a
time. Okay? They're getting their fix. Okay? It's true.
You can go in any bookstore. In fact, it's a great way
to meet women, is just walk up and say, "Excuse me,
you know, say, I'd like to read one of these. Can you
tell me which one of them is a really good one?"
Cause they all have favorites. Okay? And they come
34
in different flavors. , There's the soft romance ones,
there's the out and out fuck books. You know, I mean,
there's and everything in between. Buy anyway, the
romantic hero has certain well defined characteristics.
For example, the hero of these sorts of things is an
adventurer. Okay. He is not a man who is constrained
by his life, or by circumstance. Rather, he lives a life
of adventure. Okay. Now, it may that you are newly
minted accountant or something, and you say, "Well,
geez, adventure isn't part of my life.” That's not true.
It's the approach that you take to it. Okay? As Dennis
was just talking about, are you paying attention?
Because the world is speaking to you constantly. The
world is constantly putting little tests in your way,
saying, you know, is he awake? You know, is he
alive? Is he thinking, is he breathing, does he know
what is going on? Okay? The adventurer looks at
everything with a sense of passion, with a willingness
to take risks. Okay? And with this burning desire to
find out happens next. The romantic hero is cynical.
Okay? Not cynical in the sense of always putting
things down. Okay? It's rather, cynical in the sense of
hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Okay?
Knowing that the world is full of assholes and you're
not terribly surprised when you run across yet
another one right in front of you. Okay.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: But at the same time, within the heart of
the cynic is someone who is capable of love. Okay?
Think about it. Cynicism is a matter of contrasts.
Right? You can have the hardened, world weary
exterior. Okay? What you have to have, because the
world throws things in your way, there's not all good.
Okay? But, the cynic at heart is capable of love and
passion. And what is more inspirational to a woman
than to know that somewhere within this guy is true
passion if only she can be the woman who can spark
it and bring it out.
Ross: And that's called a big challenge.
Major: Yeah. And they love that. I mean that's doggie
biscuits in front of the starving Doberman, you know?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay? The romantic hero loves women,
appreciates women, is unafraid of women, appreciates
them for who they are. Okay? Enjoys their femininity,
enjoys the test of wills. Okay? Is willing to accept
them within their place, is open to the idea of being
conquered because that's the heart of these novels. I
mean, it's really an a, b, c type of plot in all these
things. I mean, it can be set in Victorian England, it
can have, what was that one? Celic Hard Rod?
Ross: Celic Hard rod.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Now there's a heroic name. I am Celic
Hard Rod.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: He was a fierce Viking adventurer, let's
see
Ross: Laugh
Major Mark: The whole thing involves women
bringing out love, conquering through love. Okay?
It's what they want to lead with, it's what they want to
finish with. Okay? But at the same time, you're
disassociated from outcome. Okay? In other words,
the romantic hero in these things is not just putzing
along, whining, thinking, "I don't have the right suit
or I don't have the right Viking boat in order to get the
chicks.” Okay, you know?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Yeah, I need a really big boat. Yeah. Let's
go downtown and pick us some oars. But rather, ...
Ross: That's going to be in a movie.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Do we have a writer in the room?
Major Mark: He's writing the Speed Seduction
screenplay.
Ross: You don't have to write, just take notes, it's
writing itself for you.
Audience: My hand's crippled already.
Ross: Laugh
Major Mark: That's the hand you use.
Audience: Laughter. I have an old friend who's
always thinking he going to score if he could just get
a hairpiece.
Ross: Yeah. Well, you know, maybe he should get a
helmet with horns. It works, it works.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: It worked for you Celic.
Ross: That's right.
Major Mark: But see, rather, the romantic hero has a
life, he is going about his life, and by chance, he
encounters this woman, and it's like, woooo, she's
interesting, and he starts paying attention. But he
doesn't devote all his attention, he doesn't hang
35
around, he doesn't keep his Friday night free on the
off chance that you know, her bustle's been repaired
and she's back in business. Okay? No, he's going
about his life and enjoying things as t hey happen.
And he becomes pursued by her. Okay? Key point. In
order to have a good life, you have to have a life in
the first place. All right? And the more of a life you
have, the more attractive you become.
Ross: And there's a point here because if you have a
passion other than her that you're devoted to, she'll
work like the devil to get that passion devoted to her.
And she'll give you everything she has to get you to
devote some of that passion to her. So, look where
supplication creeps into your life. Supplication is so
much a part of what men are conditioned to do in our
culture, that you must constantly check. And I'm
going to give you an exercise after lunch to check to
see when you're supplicating and when you're not, to
make sure that you never d o it. But part of
supplication is just devoting too much time to being
around women, to showing that you're always
available. ”Oh, yeah, sure, well call me and let me now
what you're doing Friday.” What is that really doing?
It's supplicating, it's saying, "Yes, you're the most
important thing.” I'm sorry.
Major Mark: When I met Ross and got into this, I had
the typical guy reaction about how I don't like
rejection. I just don't like rejection. It's not really a guy
thing, it's a human thing. Okay? And so, I decided my
hard and fast rule was that I would never, never ever
ever ask someone out on a date. Instead, I would only
invite them to join in something that I was already
going to do. Okay? Well, in order to have interesting
and tasty things to share with her, I had to get off my
butt and go out and find interesting and tasty things
to do. So I did things like I joined the volunteer
society at the Toledo Zoo. Big zoo, very nice zoo.
And I donated some money to the big cat exhibit and
got myself invited to do the things like go in for the
animal feeding, which is more of a guy thing, you
know, rip animals to pieces. But also things like, one
of my most memorable seduction tools was I invited
this very lovely woman to go with me to the vet
center and to pet the snow leopard while it was under
anesthesia.
Ross: Was that what you call it? The snow leopard?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Well, we did ...
Ross: it's an albino?
Major Mark: We did check out the lizard later.
Audience: laughter. What else was under anesthesia?
Major Mark: No, it was one of these things that all
animals are anesthetized and they go through routine
examinations because they're big important
investments for the zoos. Okay? And if you're a
member of the volunteer society, you get in on stuff
like this. So, here I'd met this woman, I think it was at a
Ruby Tuesday's. Okay? She was at one these lady
luncheons kind of things. I was chatting her up as she
was, you know, trotting back and forth between the
telephone and the ladies room and all this. And got to
know her and said, "Hey, you know, I don't have a lot
of time for you right now, "
Ross: Hold it. Repeat that phrase again.
Major Mark: I don't have a lot time for you right now.
Ross: Okay.
Yates: This is the end of Side 3 of the Basic Speed
Seduction Seminar
36
Tape 2 – Side 2
Yates: Welcome to Side 4 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar.
Ross: And, which is, I mean, well you laugh. These
things will come naturally after a little while. If I said,
"There's something that I need to do.” "Oh really?
What?" "I'm on my way to the zoo. I'm helping out
this afternoon and we're doing the annual exam for the
snow leopards. They'll be anesthetized, they'll be on
the table, and we'll have a chance to interact with the
animals, So, if I were to invite you to just drop what
you are doing, would you come with me?" "Why,
yes.” And we were off to Magic Mark Land.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: All rides free. Just one price for admission. You
can ride over and over and over again, as much as
you want.
Major Mark: That's right.
Ross: You know, and since we have you up here and
since I consider Mark to be the single most powerful
influence on my work and what I've done, I want to
ask you a question. You, you were viewed as one of
the Speed Seduction gods. Yes?
Audience: Yes
Ross: As something that we all aspire to. Except
you're married now. Gee, but notice, no ring. He's a
free-range husband.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Sure.
Ross: Laughing
Major Mark: Well, she married a hypnotist. She knew
what she was getting into.
Ross: Obviously, when you first learned Speed
Seduction, you were just Green Lantern, the Flash and
Thor all rolled into one, immediately out of the gate.
Major Mark: Instantly.
Ross: Instantly. I mean, you didn't go through any
kind of learning curve, did you?
Major Mark: Oh, just the opposite, just the opposite.
Ross: Tell them.
Major Mark: I ran across his stuff, it was probably the
gallery ad. Okay? Bought the first book, went through
it, read it, laughed, got mad. and decided that there
were some obvious flaws in his approach. Start taking
notes on what was wrong. Okay? Ordered the basic
tapes. Okay? I found out all the basic concepts and I
thought, "Well, geez, you know, how hard can this
be?" Okay? So I memorized a few basic patterns, went
out in the real world, walked up to a woman, couldn't
remember what the fuck I was supposed to be saying,
got all embarrassed, thought, "This is never going to
work for me.” Crashed and burned. Okay? Went back
to the apart ment, thought, "Well, I don't like failure.”
Okay? So, I memorized a few more patterns. This time
I practiced in the mirror. Okay? Which is kind of a
self-love thing, that's not a mistake, but, you know, I
was practicing in the mirror, looking, being confident,
went out, crashed and burned. Okay? I started getting
kind of irritated about this, so, I decided to go out and
talk to every woman I met. And for weeks, I would
walk up to any woman, anywhere. Okay? I was a
menace to society. Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: I was accosting women in ATM lines, I
was trapping them in the produce section at Kroger's,
I mean, I was, I was, you know, standing in line and
just started talking to the one in front of me, turned
around and talked to the one in back of me until I got
used to the idea of talking women. And, in fact, on the
list, we were discussing this earlier this year. It got to
the point where, honest to god, I would look up and
see this amazing and beautiful girl and my reaction
would be "Oh, fuck, another beautiful girl.” Cause I
had to go talk to her.
Ross: Laughing
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: This is called willingness. For those of you at
home, this is a very important point.
Major Mark: But the big conceptual breakthrough
was I -was out at this pla ce, I think it was a Friday's.
Okay? And I was at the bar and, of course, it's noisy,
it's smoky, it crowded and all this and I ran some
patterns on this one, you know, woman. And she
was, she was following along, and she was, "Uh
huhing" and I was getting the pupil dilation and all
this, but just wasn't a response. Okay? It was a
passive sort of thing. Like the more patterns I hit her
with, the deeper in she went, but she wasn't coming
back out. Okay? So I had another, "Oh, shit" kind of
reaction, excused myself, "hi, just thanks, good to
meet you, da da da da, " Went on and finished my
drink and about 15 minutes later, I go walking out into
37
the parking lot cause I was going to go home.
Another evening of failure, right? All of a sudden I
hear, you know, the distinctive tap of high heels on a
hard surface. Okay? I hear, it's well, I'm conditioned to
certain things, you know. And hear these, this
running feet in high heels coming up behind me and I
turn around and here's this girl from the bar, and she
launches herself at me, in the parking lot, all over me,
sucking my face, I mean, just groping me, just going
wild. I'm thinking, "This is cool.”
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Maybe this stuff works. The big
breakthrough for me was that I, I realized, there's this
thing called reframing, which is if you have any
attitude, belief, behavior, whatever, and it's not
working for you, there's always another way of
looking at It that works much better. Okay? And when
I was working on his canned stuff, which was more
direct and less subtle than it is now, it's true, and, ...
Ross: Sure, no problem.
Major Mark: and, and, still, it worked like a charm. It
wasn't working for me. But rather than say, "This stuff
doesn't work, " I said, "Wait a minute. This is working
for other guys.” Okay? "What's wrong with this
picture?" And I realized I was bringing too much of
my old self into the new situation. I was parroting the
words without feeling the feelings, thinking the
thoughts, and leading the life. Okay? There was a
remark earlier about, "Well, you know, didn't you ever
tell, " asking this, "Didn't you ever tell the girl what
you were doing?" Well, no, he didn't because he
wasn't doing something, he was being someone.
Okay?
Ross: Say it again. Major Mark: He wasn't doing
something, he was being someone. Okay. And so, I
decided to stop trying to be a master of speed
seduction and, instead, I was just going to BE a
master of speed seduction. And if it didn't work at
that particular point and time, then it was no big deal.
Cause after all, I was a master of speed seduction.
And I just started playing around with it. I started
doing partial patterns. Okay? I started doing
outrageous patterns. Okay? Walk up to married
women standing in there with their husbands and
start running patterns on them. Okay.
Audience: Yeah.
Major Mark: They're most well behaved. They rarely
hit you.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay. And once I started relaxing and
saying, "this is who I am, this is what I do, " man, it
was like throwing the switch on a nuclear reactor.
Everything worked after that.
Ross: Pretty cool, pretty neat, pretty good, pretty
cool. What an amazing thing we do. Any questions
for Major Mark? Cause he's going to be back here a
lot this weekend.
Major Mark: I'm here all weekend.
Ross: He's here all weekend. He's bringing his, and
you're going to do, we will do a segment on seducing
married women. Okay? Yeah.
Major Mark: I sleep with a married woman every
night.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Now you do. Okay. Thank you Major Mark.
Audience: Applause.
Ross; So, what I want to do before lunch, we're going
to take like another 15, take another 15 minutes and
then we'll go to lunch. I'm aware that tummies are
rumbling and people are hungry and all that. I tracking
the room, I've got you all. I want to talk a little bit
about ...
Audience: You said take a break.
Ross: No I didn't.
Audience: Laughter. _____ another 15 minutes.
Ross: I said we'll do another 15 minutes and then we'll
go to lunch, but, that's okay. I want to talk about
having the proper attitudes, the attitudes that really
make this work, the attitudes that really, really drive
this material. And, I have these rules that I came LIP
With. I was sort of' sitting there one night, going, I
heard like Moses, you know, "Thou shallot this. thou
blah, blah"
Audience: Sitting there with Your clay tablets.
Ross: Yeah. Hmmm, these would make good rules. Oh,
you know what? If I play this through here, it won't
pick up, will it?
Yates: Sure.
Ross: If I play the little tape through this,
Yates?: Go ahead.
Ross: Will it be, but will it be
Audience: Get a microphone, get a mike over there.
Yates?: Yeah.
38
Ross: Well, we're going to test this. Just to give you
an example of something.
?: _____ bigger stereo.
Ross: What's that?
?: I've got a bigger stereo.
Ross: You've got a bigger one? Where?
?: In the trunk of my car.
Ross: Ah, go get it. We'll play it after lunch. Good.
Okay. So let's get back to attitude. The first, most
important rule is "Thou shalt not supplicate.” That's
the first rule - thou shalt not supplicate. Okay? Very
important rule. Rule 2 "Thou shalt never ask.” Thou
shalt, thou shalt not, I want the little finger of fire
carving it. Thou shalt never ask, thou shalt only
structure opportunities and offer challenges. Now
throughout the week we're going to give you specific
language, word for word things you can say to do
that. Okay? Mark, talk a little bit about the difference,
when you structure, what's the difference between
asking someone out and structuring an opportunity?
Major Mark: Well, for one thing, if you ask them, they
can say no. I never give them an opportunity to say
no. That's a bad thing. Okay? There are good things
in life, there are bad things. That's a bad thing. Okay.
Structuring an opportunity means that if they don't go
for it, they miss out. Okay? Structuring an
opportunity means that there is something new,
different, exciting going on in the world that they
could make part of their lives. All they have to do is
say yes. If you're asking them something, it's like you
are picking an activity, or whatever out of the blue
that you think might interest them, you're dangling it
in front of them and you're giving them all the power.
Right? They can say back, "Well, I don't know, maybe
yes, maybe no.” They can slap you around, play with
you like they love to do. Okay? And instead, if you're
structuring an opportunity, it's this moving window.
Okay? It's that cubic centimeter of chance that
appears right in front of them and if they say no, it's
gone forever. But all they have to do is say yes, and
they get great stuff. Get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So, you want to make sure that you put in the
notion that if they don't take advantage of it, they're
going to get screwed over, cause they're going to
miss. You understand? Okay. Yes sir.
Audience: You said where you use being with
Ross: Yes, this is next thing we're going to get to.
Okay, so here's a killer. Yes sir.
Audience: How do you do that?
Ross: I'm going to show you, okay?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: We're going to show you. So, here's the next,
here's the next attitude/rule I want you to get is
"being with you, being with you is the best possible
thing that could happen to that woman.” Now, is this
something you want to talk about? Do you want to
say it out loud? "Hey, baby, being with me is the best
possible thing that could happen to you.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: No. You know. Cut this, just for a second would
you?
?: I got to believe in those best possible things that
you have. Now, you don't _____ it. It shows in your
attitude, in your voice, the way you carry yourself,
the way you make your approach about any _____ .
Ross: The next rule or attitude is
Ross: Okay. So the next attitude or rule is you give a
woman a little bit of what she wants and then you pull
away and make her work for more. The next attitude or
rule is you always give a woman a little bit of what
she wants and then you pull away and you make her
work for more. That's part of the structure of being a
challenge, but also, also what it does is, it gives you
more value in her eyes. There's a sick part of human,
not sick, it's just human nature, that what you obtain
too easily you tend to put a cheap value to. To me
something is valuable according to what I can do with
it, not how much I have to pay to get it, but I'm, I think
I'm exceptional in that respect. So, if you're too
available she's going to devalue what you have to
offer, so you give a little bit of what she wants and
you pull away and you make her work for more. Now,
later on in the weekend, pretty soon, you'll see how
we incorporate these so you actually don't just think
about them, they become who you are. I have very
specific techniques to get these inside your mind.
Okay? My next one is "I never get rejected, I only
discover if a woman has good taste.”
Audience: Yeah
Ross: I like that one. I never get rejected, I only
discover if a woman has good taste. Okay. The next
rule is "You always call a woman on her bullshit.” The
next rule is "You always call a woman on her bullshit.”
Look for the respect opportunity. You always call a
woman on her bullshit, look for the respect
39
opportunity. Let me tell you what I mean by that. Let
me tell you what I mean by that. Another way to say it
is "Thou shalt prepare in advance for bullshit so thou
doest not have to eat any.” So you can write that.
”Thou shalt prepare in advance for bullshit so thou
doest not have to eat any.” Cause women will test
you, human beings test other human beings, but
women will test you to see how strong you are. Now
here's the mistake, here are the 2 mistakes to make.
Okay? One is to appease her rather than to call her on
it. The other is to rage and lose you temper. Now,
there's a time and place to, to show anger, but the
best thing you can do is calmly tell her what your rule
is. Go, "Look, this is what you did, this is what my
rule is. If you expect to be with me, do something else
the next time cause I won't put up with it.” To do it
calmly, if you take a very strong message and you
deliver it low key and calmly, people aren't used to
that. It fries their circuits and they become very
suggestible. You understand?
Audience: Yes
Major Mark: If you're reacting out of anger, she has
the power.
Ross: Let me give you an example how, there's
someone I dated like 8, 8 years ago before I really got
into Speed Seduction and I recently ran into her
again. And I told her about the Rolling Stones story
and she never even bothered to pick it up. And she
sent me some e-mail and I said, "No, I don't want to
deal with you. Had you had some major breakthrough
in your career, I would have gone right to the
newsstand to read about it. And you're still the same
self-absorbed loser you were when I knew you, you
know, 8, 9 years ago and I'm not going to deal with it.”
And boy, from then on, she was just so eager to be
nice. I didn't, you know, put any profanity in there, it
was a simple message, both delivered in e-mail and
the phone when she called me to talk to me about it. I
said, "No, you're the same self-absorbed loser you
were.” I called her on it. Now, here's a weird thing,
guys. This is a really sick thing, but it's true. Women
want to be able to trust you. They trust what they
perceive as being sincere communication, so, look, I
didn't say it was sincere, I said what they perceive to
be sincere. So, "perceived sincere communication
leads to trust which leads to extreme comfort which
leads to her to be open to a lot more intense states.”
Here's the problem. I want you to really listen to me.
You nice guys who've ever done something nice and
you find she really rejects you for it and really doesn't
trust you, here's why. Pay attention. Here's the
structure of it. Look up here. Most women think that
when a guy who doesn't really know them is being
nice, their thought process is, "He's only doing this to
get into my pants.” And therefore, what is she
perceived? Does she perceive your communication as
sincere?
Audience: No
Ross: She perceives it's insincere so she doesn't trust
you, which leads to resentment. Now.
Audience: Right.
Ross: And she's right. But how many women would
ever think that you would be angry with them to get
into their pants? If you're angry with them and tell
them off, none of them are going to go, "He's saying
this just so lie can be, he's being angry just so he can
get into my pants.” They're going to go, "Oh, he
sincerely communicated with me. I trust him.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You disagree? You agree?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: You have to think about it, okay. I'm serious.
Audience: What's after trust,
Ross: Extreme comfort which means they're open to
more intense states with you, like sexual arousal and
all that other good stuff. Now listen to me. I'm not
saying you should rage at them or any, or get vulgar
or lose control. Within the bounds of your own self-
control, show some anger, when it's appropriate. Tell
them off.
Major Mark: Right. You're not looking for the first
opportunity to slap her around in order to fulfill to
checkoff list here, okay? But, just like Celic Hard Rod,
who is the cynical, world-weary kind of guy, you
expect the worst out of human nature cause you're
going to find it and you're not going to accept it in
you life. The first time it happens, this. You do have
to be angry about it, it's just like, "Okay, maybe you
didn't understand so here, explicitly is the rule. I don't
put up with this shit. Do it again and I'm out of here.”
Ross: I had a massage therapist fail to call me back in
time so I booked a massage with someone else. And
when she called to see if I wanted a massage, I said, "I
already booked. You didn't call me back, I didn't here
from you.” She's like really pissed; I could hear her
steaming on the other end of the phone. ”Well, well
...” I said, "Hey, you don't return my calls promptly,
my assumption is you don't care or you can't do it. So,
if you want to deal with me, I don't care what you do
with other people, " this is how I said it. I said, "It's
40
none of my business what you do with other people.
That's for you to decide. But when it comes to me, if
you're going to deal with me, this is my expectation.
You can meet it or not meet it. But the only way you're
going to deal with me is if you meet it.” She's like,
"Hmm, hmm, hmm, well, okay.” And by the way, you
owe people that. If you don't people what your rules
are, they won't know. And they're going to resent
you. Now the final one before we go to lunch. Okay?
This is a difficult one to grasp at first. It's "Never
attach excess meaning.” Let me tell you what I mean
by that. You ever wonder, other, other than the fact,
there's a lot of ways this, this, this works. Other one,
ever wonder, other than the fact that she makes you
go, "Uh uh uh uh" with sputtering lust, why guys
attach so much meaning to be accepted by a beautiful
woman? Let's say there are 2 women at a party. One's
something that out of the X-files. Okay? You run
away screaming. And then one's an absolute,
gorgeous, whatever your idea of the perfect, ideal
woman is. Who would be easier to talk to?
Audience: The X-files girl
Ross: The X-files girl? Yeah. Exactly.
Audience: There's nothing to worry about.
Ross: There's nothing to worry about. And if she likes
you, who cares? Her opinion doesn't carry much
weight. But here's the thing that men think. Men think
that if a beautiful woman likes you, there's some kind
of psychic friends network with all the other beautiful
women in the world and that means you've got a free
pass from there on in. Or, if she rejects you, that
psychically, I had some client tell me this. He really
believed this. That every other woman in the world
would instantly know that he was unacceptable.
Okay? This is the structure,
Audience: laughter
Ross: This is the structure of paranoia wouldn't you
say Dr. Mark?
Major Mark: Yeah. It's not a good place to start from.
Ross: So, I like to talk about one woman, one vote. I
tell this story a lot but
Audience: There's actually a Seinfeld episode that
_____ . I don't know if you ever saw that.
Ross: No.
Audience: Now, George dates this beautiful model
and he suddenly _____ all the good women in the
world. It's like a club he's in and they just are falling all
over him. Then, once he loses one of them,
everybody's lost.
Ross: Hmm. Seinfeld. Not reality.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? This is a true story. This is a New Year's
Eve many years ago and I went in to the party and,
right away, I saw the most beautiful woman and went
right up to her, without any hesitation, got her phone
number. She left the party. I thought, "My work is
done. I'll be nice.” I approach this huge blimp of a
woman and I asked, joked around with her, asked for
her number, she said, "No, you're not my type.” I was
like, "ehhhh.” So, it's one woman, one vote. But the
other thing is, you ever meet a woman and you click
in really well, you just feel great about her and you go
home and you imagine introducing her to all you
friends. And you think to yourself, "This is the girl for
me.” And you're convinced after that first date or first
meeting that she's the one for you. You ever do that?
Anyone ever do that? How many of you? Keep you
hands up. Of those of you, keep you hands up if
you've done that, how many of you were then able to
go on and control that relationship and have power
and choice in that relationship? Keep your hands up
if you were able to do that.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? So, you want to be able to do that with
her. Who's a big guy, who, who's, who out-muscles
me by a lot? Most of you do.
Audience: Hey, Ross.
Ross: What?
Audience: When that does happen, it's after a big
fight. When you're finally tired of it and you go, "Oh,
I'm done.” Then, you can go back and have control of
the relationship cause you lost excess meaning.
Ross: Yeah that's true. Someone's not, you're bigger,
come up here, you're bigger than me, come up here.
Come up here. We're going to have a fight right now.
So, you're a big guy, okay? But here's what I want
you to do. I want you to lean forward like this, put on
one foot, put one foot in the air, lean for-ward, put
your hand all the way out like this and punch me.
Okay? I got him. Okay? So, when you do that, when
you attach excess meaning, metaphysically, you're
leaning forward and you're about to get your head
bashed in. Okay? So never attach excess meaning,
being successful or not being successful, to any
particular woman. Women are like Doritos. Eat all you
want, we'll make more.
Audience: Laughter
41
Ross: Lunchtime.
BREAK
Ross: There, for those of you who are at home was
just some phone fun I was having. The whole point
being that you want to have fun with this. One of the
things I would like to help you install, we're going to
work on your self in the next hour or so, is to install
the right state of consciousness when you do this.
Now a lot of people talk about confidence and I know
I've talked about confidence, but to me, the problem
with confidence is it's so damn serious. The key to
doing this is having fun and being playful as you
heard on that tape. The more playful you are, the more
blatant you can be. I am absolutely blatant with this
stuff. I mean, you know. I was at Mark's wedding, just
having a riot of a time. I walked up to this girl; I went,
she said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm just
feeling your aura.” She said, "What?" I said, "I'm
feeling your aura.” I went, "You're multi-orgasmic,
aren't you?" And she started blushing. I s aid, "You
have a hot date tonight, don't you? There's someone
you're looking forward to getting with.” And she's like
beet red and turn, ***********************, and
Audience: Laughter
Ross: She said, "How did you know that?" I said,
"Oh, I can tell.” I know when people have that
mindset. I was fucking with her a little bit. so, you
have to forgive me. My voice is really _____ . It's
from allergies. We have terrible pollen counts in L. A.
I want to talk about sound, how sound is vitally
important in creating your mindset. This is not
something you need to take notes on. This is an
experiential part of the seminar, so there's no need for
notes. There's no need
Major Mark: Just a second.
Ross: for notes.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Huh? Okay. I'm sorry, what was that?
Audience: Response
Ross: Oh, you're French.
Audience: English is not my ...
Ross: Ah, se va , se va. I can't speak French worth
shit.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: My English is a little shaky, too. You look
intense. You not having fun?
Audience: No, I'm having a blast.
Ross: Okay. You're like, hmm, hmm, you're straining to
let one out.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I want to talk about sound. I had a client call me
up and he said, he said, "You know, Ross. I don't get
it. I practiced this and I've rehearsed it, but when it
comes time to use it in the real world, I just can't seem
to get myself going.” I said, "Okay. Well, what are
you doing to yourself on the inside? I want to be you
for a day. Since I don't have your problem, I need to
know how you produce it so I can be you. I'm a
method actor. I need to know what you do on the
inside of your head to get to have to problem.” He
says, "Well, I see a pretty girl.” I said, "Well, that's
okay. No problem so far.” He goes, I said, "Well, what
do you say to y ourself?" He goes, "Ah, " I said,
"Stop. Okay? You're dead in the water right there.”
Okay? Because the model I want to give you, and
whether it's true or not, I don't know, but the model I
want to present to you, is that there are different
circuits in the mind. And that different sounds turn on
different parts of that circuitry. Okay? So, what
circuitry do you think he turned on when he went,
"Ohhhhh" and he made that sound to himself?
Audience: Response
Ross: Well, was it the circuitry for bold action?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Was it the circuitry, was it the circuitry for
absolute playful, joyous experimentation.
Audience: No
Ross: Was it the circuitry for discovery?
Audience: No
Ross: What circuitry do you think he turned on inside
his mind?
Audience: Failure, supplication
Ross: Hesitation, supplication, "well ...” You ever ask
someone to do something, and they go, "Well ... ?:
You ever hear that? Okay. There are certain sounds in
the human consciousness that universally open up
certain circuits. Both in you and the person you make
the sounds to. Of course, this is the sound he's
making inside his head. He didn't walk up to her and
go, "aaaaahhhh", although he might have at that early
of a point in his career before he met me. So it doesn't
matter, you know, you see all these books. WATCH
YOURSELF TALK. Which is the wrong system. I
42
mean, how can you watch your talk? But if you've
ever seen these books it encourages you to pay
attention to how you speak to yourself? Yes, no,
anybody?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Well, the problem with it, is they're already too
late. The sounds you make on the inside before you
start a train of thought - remember when we talked
about trains - will determine what track you go on. So,
that being the case, one of the t hings I want to train
you to do is to experiment with what, what sequence
of sounds produces the right state of consciousness.
So when you see that woman, you're there
approaching her without any hesitation and the fact
you're having fun. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Yes?
Audience: Yes
Ross: If it doesn't make sense to someone, please
raise your hand. I'm willing to talk to you about it and
make it sensible. Cause there may be someone at
home equally dull. Just kidding.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. Does it make sense? So, we're going to
have some fun. We're gonna, you're gonna follow me
and then we're going to break up into groups and do
some experimentation. So, let's see, who is shy about
approaching women? Okay? Who else is shy about
approaching women? Who's shy about raising their
hand here in class?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You. Yeah, what's your name? Come up.
Audience: Andy
Ross: We're going to fuck with you. We're going to
fuck you up, Andy. This is the fun part for me, when I
get to interact with the chumps, ah, students. Okay.
So, how long have you had this problem?
Andy: Most of my life I'd say.
Ross: How old are you now?
Andy: 23
Ross: You ready to get rid of it?
Andy: Yes, I am
Ross: Okay. Sounds good to me. I, do you believe
him?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I believe him. Okay, cool. It's gone, just kidding.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You got it unconsciously. All right, listen,
here's what we're going to do. We're going, we're
going to have fun. Okay? Here's what we're going to
do. You ever watch cartoons?
Andy: When I was little
Ross: Yeah. Did you ever watch Rocky and
Bullwinkle?
Andy: A couple of times.
Ross: Okay. Do you know the Rocky and Bullwinkle
theme?
Andy: No
Ross: Okay. We're going to do it together, okay?
Now, when you do it, I want you to make the motions
in there, okay? I'm going to hum it for you first. It
goes, do you know it Chris, the Rocky and Bullwinkle
thing?
Chris: I can't, I can't picture it.
Ross: It goes, da, da, well, you don't picture a theme,
you hear it.
Audience: Laughter
Chris: I can't hear or picture it
Ross: All right, okay. It goes da da da da da da, da da
da da da da da da, da da da da da da da da ... You
know that one?
Andy: Yes
Ross: Okay. So, put your hands out like this. Boy,
people will do what you tell them to. It's amazing.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. I want you to, da da da da da da da, no
just your hands, you don't have to move your whole
body. Da da da da da da, hum it out loud.
Andy: Da da da da da da
Ross & Andy: Da da da da da da ...
Ross: Open your mouth. Da da da da da da ... like that.
Andy: Da da da da da da
Ross & Andy: Da da da da da da ...
Ross: I feel foolish.
Ross & Andy: Da da da da da da ...
43
Ross: Okay. Good. Now watch, we're going to do
another sound. So that's the first one. So the first just
one in the sequence, thank you Brother Brent, just
stay there, is Rocky and Bullwinkle. Okay? Okay?
Now I want us all to do it. You ready? So, put your,
hold that would you? Put your hands up like this and
go
Ross & Audience: Da da da da da, da ...
Ross: Okay. Okay, good. Okay, very good. You're
going to think this is a lunatic assignment.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. Feel good? You like that?
Andy: Yeah, it was cool.
Ross: Okay, now we're going to do another sound.
We're going to do another sound. Okay? Can you,
can you say, can you put your hand on your chest,
put your hand on your chest and you know Amazing
Grace?
Andy: Yeah
Ross: Amazing Grace has got great tits that I would
like to squeeze. I'm going to get a piece of it, because I
am a sleaze.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: So, hallelujah. I want you to hum Amazing
Grace, so you feel it resonating right in there. Hum
Andy: Da
Ross: No, hum. Hmm
Andy: Humming Amazing Grace
Ross: You hum wimpy. Come on, put it down in there.
Humming. Not you.
Andy: Humming Amazing Grace.
Ross: Good. Okay. Now, here's what I want you to do,
okay? Can you go, put your hand on there, and go
WOW.
Andy: WOW
Ross: So it resonates in there. WOW
Andy: WOW
Ross: Close your eyes and imagine a woman with the
nicest set of gazonkers the galaxy has ever seen. And
she just opens up her shirt and plops them into your
hands and now go, WOW.
Andy: WOW
Ross: Very good. Look at me. Follow my hands, wow.
Andy: WOW
Ross: Very good. Now, so the next sound is WOW.
Okay. We're going to do another sound. Is this fun so
far? Feel good?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Can you put those two together? Let's try it,
just you and me.
Ross & Andy: Humming Rocky & Bullwinkle theme,
Ross: Out loud.
Andy: Humming Rocky & Bullwinkle theme.
Ross: WOW
Andy: WOW
Ross: Good. Now, next you'll close your eyes, do it
inside your head. Do it on the inside, do both those
sounds on the inside. You can move your hands if
you want to. Good. Okay? Now we're going to make
another one, another sound. I want you to look at me
a minute. Can you put your teeth together like this?
Now can you go UMMMM.
Andy: UMMMM
Ross: UMMMM.
Andy: UMMMM
Ross: UMMMM
Andy: UMMMM
Ross: UMMM
Andy: UMMM
Ross: Good. UMMM, like you're growling. UMMM.
Make it come up from here. UMMM
Andy: UMMM
Ross: We'll have Kim work with you, okay? She'll
work with every UMMM. Very good, okay? Wow.
Okay. Now, can you say this? Can you say, "Let's go
have some fffff" almost like you're going to say fuck
but instead, god dammit, thank you brother, almost
you're about to say the word fuck, but instead say
fffffun. Can you say fffffun?
Andy: Let's go have some fffffun.
Ross: Okay. Fffffun.
Andy: Ffffun
Ross: Imagine this. There's a woman standing in front
of you. If you say it in the right tonality, her zipper's
going to open, her pants will fall off, her legs will open
44
into stirrups, and you'll have your way.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? Close your eyes. Remember a time when
you got that feeling right in there that you really
wanted to be with someone. And let that feeling guide
you as you say "ffffun.”
Andy: Ffffun.
Ross: Fffun. Ahhhh.
Andy: Ffffun
Ross: Can you go ahhh, ahhh? Just do that. Ahhh.
Andy: Ahhh
Ross: Ahhh.
Andy: Ahhh.
Ross: Ffffun.
Andy: Ffffun.
Ross: Better. He's getting there, okay? Alright. You
guys get it? Can you do it with me? So, I want you
guys to go, Ummmm. Ready?
Ross & Audience: Ummmmm.
Ross: And now I want you to say, "Let's go have
some ffffan.”
Ross & Audience: Let's go have some fffun.
Ross: Okay. Ummmin, let's go have some fun. Now,
there's another piece I need to do with him, cause I
can spot some things going on with him. Okay, here's
what I want you to do. Just to do a little testing, a
little calibration for all you NLP junkies ... Okay, and
_____ , heel, vocal cords. Here's what I want you to
do. I want you to imagine that there's an absolutely
stunningly beautiful woman that you have a huge
crush on and you want to go up and to talk to her.
Andy: Just imagine it?
Ross: Yeah, imagine it. Imagine what you do in your
head and feel what you feel if you had to go talk to
her. Okay. That's not that severe. All right. So we
don't need to work with that. All right. Here's what I
want you to do. Close your eyes. I want you to do
Rocky, I want you to see that g irl and I want you to
do Rocky and Bullwinkle, then go WOW, then go
UMMM, put your teeth together, go UMMM,
UMMM.
Andy: Humming Rocky and Bullwinkle theme,
Ross: Humming Rocky and Bullwinkle theme,
Andy: Humming Rocky and Bullwinkle theme,
Ross: Okay. WOW, UMMM,
Andy: UMMM
Ross: Let's go have some fffun. Andy: Let's go have
some ffffun.
Ross: Now how do you feel about going up to talk to
her?
Andy: Somewhat better.
Ross: Yeah, okay. Now we'll try it again. Keep doing
that. Close your eyes. Again. Do it real fast, Rocky
and Bullwinkle. Do it to yourself on the inside, cause
you don't talk out, when you see a pretty girl, you
don't say out loud, "Oh my god, I can't meet her.” So
do it the way you do it, close your eyes, and to
yourself, do Rocky and Bullwinkle, now do WOW,
now do WOW, do UMMM, say let's go have some
fffun. Yeah. Now how do you feel about meeting her?
Andy: Probably better than in the first example where
I verbalized it.
Ross: Yeah. Okay. Exactly. That's why I said you've
got to lead them to do it in your head. So close your
eyes. I, here's what you're doing. You're still
sub-vocalizing. Don't, I don't want to see any lips
moving, just do it all in your head now, okay? Do it
real fast. Now how do you feel?
Andy: About the same.
Ross: About the same as what?
Andy: As the second example.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Okay. So now, close your eyes, go
through this again and try to feel nervous about
meeting her while you make only these sounds and
only these sounds in your head. By the way, when
you do Rocky and Bullwinkle, you move your body a
little bit. Yeah. Do it real fast, real fast. Yeah. This is it,
_____ one of them back. Now, how do you feel about
meeting her?
Andy: A little bit nervous.
Ross: A little bit nervous. Are you doing anything
besides these sounds?
Andy: You're thinking about how nervous ...
Ross: Oh, I didn't tell you to do that. I said just do
these sounds. All I want you to do is do these
sounds and these sounds only. Push anything else
out of your head. Just do these sounds. Imagine she's
there in front of you. Okay? Close your eyes. Run
through the sounds real fast. Now,
45
Andy: Now I'm ready to meet her.
Ross: Now you're ready to meet her.
Audience: Laughter. Response from audience.
Ross: Right. Okay. Now, how long did that take? Now
watch this. Whistling. Now try to feel nervous. But
only do those sounds in your head. Close your eyes,
go through the whole sequence again real fast,
humming Rocky and Bullwinkle theme, WOW,
UMMM, let's go have some fffun. Now, how do you
feel?
Andy: Same as last time.
Ross: Good. Right. Now, the interesting thing about
feelings is how they can get better and better and
better and better the more your mind recognizes
there's a new direction to move in. And the thing is, is
once you set yourself in the direction that feels good,
it like, if you try to go back in the old direction, it's like
there's a plate of glass here, bulletproof glass, that
keeps you from getting to any of that. So all you can
do is look straight ahead, make those sounds in y our
mind, and if you even try to go back to old feelings,
what happens?
Andy: You can't.
Ross: I didn't hear you. Say it again.
Andy: You can't do it.
Ross: Well, try harder. You're not trying hard enough.
Andy: You'll still have the, the new feelings and stuff.
Ross: Well that sucks,
Audience: laughter
Ross: Oh, now, watch this. I want you something else
about you. I want you to get a little bit of the nervous
feeling back again. Just a little bit. Okay? Okay?
Where do you feel the nervous feeling in your body?
Andy: Where do I feel it? Ross: Where in your body?
Point with your finger.
Andy: Would it be ...
Ross: Point.
Andy: Around here, in my arms and shoulders and
stuff.
Ross: Okay. Okay. I want you to show me the
direction the feeling goes. Is the feeling, where does it
start?
Andy: It starts at the end of the fingers
Ross: Okay. And then in what direction does it move?
Show me with your ...
Andy: The same, like the same direction you were ...
Ross: Okay. And where does it go when it leaves?
Andy: When it leaves?
Ross: Yeah.
Andy: Up past the hand.
Ross: Okay. Now, I want you to do something. This is
going to be really weird, but I'm going to ask you to
do it. I want you to take those feelings and move them
out here like three feet away from your body. Okay?
Andy: Okay.
Ross: Move them out here. Can you move them out
here for a minute? Okay. See them going in the same
direction, then I want you to take your hand and
backslap them, like, boom, really hard. Boom, make the
sound. Do it with that hand, slap them out with that
hand. Boom. Do it again, do it again. Now try and get
the feeling back.
Andy: I can't do it.
Ross: Yeah, well try harder.
Andy: Try harder?
Ross: Yeah. Now close your eyes, close your eyes
and make the sounds, Rocky and Bullwinkle, WOW,
UMMMM, and notice how good this feels. SHHHH.
That's weird, isn't it?
Andy: _____ difference.
Ross: Now, now, how long have you, did you have
the problem?
Andy: About 22 years
Ross: How long did it take for us to do it, was anyone
timing that?
Audience: About 12 minutes.
Ross: Twelve minutes? I'm slow, cause my voice hurts
and I'm a little tired.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Well, I am. I'm a little slow. But, okay. Now, you
have to practice with this. If you practice these sound
sequences, we're going to show you more, this is just
the start of building the states, so give him a hand.
Audience: Applause.
Ross: Okay.
46
Audience: Hey, Ross.
Ross: Oh, uh, ... I'm only warming up and I'm not
exaggerating or kidding. I'm not, I'm really not. Okay.
So take that. So, we're going to work with these sound
sequences. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going
to take you, the entire group through this, and then
what we're going to do is we're going to break into
groups of 2 and you're going to test to s ee which,
everyone's different. You may find that a different
sequence works with these. Okay? This is my own
personal sequence that I do, so when I'm out bopping
around, I going (Rocky and Bullwinkle theme), I see a
woman I like, I go WOW, UMMM, let's go have some
fun, and I'm there. Okay? Now, let me ask you a
question. Before we go through that, what circuitry
do you think the Rocky and Bullwinkle theme opens
up?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Playful. Why is it important to be playful? What
happens if you're really serious?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: You shut down your resources, you attach too
much meaning, you scare them off, all bad outcomes.
All bad outcomes. What does WOW do?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: I think it opens up the sense of excitement,
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Excitement, amazement.
Audience: It definitely opens up
Ross: Excitement, energy,
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Adventure. Particularly adventure. Now what
does UMMM?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: I think UMMM is more the predator, so like
when you see a piece of chocolate cake and you
know you're about to eat it, it's like, UMMMM. You're
mine. So it opens up the predator. And what's let's go
have some fun? What does that get you to do?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Get's your ass moving. Now, I want you to
notice I sent the, the little piece of language in here.
Did I say, I should go meet her or you should go meet
her?" I said, "let's" as in let us, that means, it implies
that every part of you is working together to take the
action. You okay? Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: All right. So here's what we're going to do.
We're going to go through it as a group, together, one
time, and then what we're going to do is, we're going
to break up into groups of 2, a and b, a and b, a and b,
and we're going to test each, we're going test different
combinations. Okay? So, let's do it together. Put your
notes down. All right? So, we'll start with Rocky and
Bullwinkle. Okay?
Ross & Audience: Rocky and Bullwinkle theme, and
now, WOW, and then UMMM, let's go have some
ffffun.
Ross: Yeah, good. Okay. Here's what we're going to
do. We're going to try the following sequences, okay?
We'll start out with that one, so the first one is RB,
WOW, UMMM, let's go have some. Okay? That's
sequence number 1. Now's the time to take notes. So,
that's the first sequence you're going to test.
Yates: This is the end Side 4 of the Basic Speed
Seduction Seminar.
47
Tape 3 – Side 1
Yates: This is the beginning of Side 5 of the Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar with Ross Jeffries
Ross: By the way, for those of you at home who, of
course, couldn't see what I did with, what was your
name sir?
Andy: Andy
Ross: Andy. Yeah, Andy looks different already.
What you couldn't see with Andy is I took him back
to when he was having, I had him push it out 3 feet
away from his body and I had him knock it away with
his hand and he found that feeling couldn't come
back. Try and get the feeling back. Look,
Andy: Knocking it away?
Ross: Try and get the feeling of being nervous again.
Try and get it back. Ross: You can't do it. You didn't
see the look of amazement on his face. That's the cool
thing. You're missing the best thing about what I do is
that look of amaze, astonishment. See, that's why I do,
this is why I do what I do. It's the look of absolute
astonishment that they can't have the problem that
they had for 22 years. This is the start of destroying
the reality, cause part of what I'm doing, what Mark
and I do the whole week, the whole weekend, is a
structured assault upon people's limiting beliefs. If
everyone here can sit here and see that he had a
problem for 22 years and now it's gone, he can't even
have back, then it's a real, begin to take one leg of that
table and knock it out. It's an assault is what it is. But
you have to do that to get people out of their muck.
Okay. So that's the first one. It's a fun assault and no
one gets hurt, but it's an assault. Okay. That's the first
combination. Second one, let's try WOW, Rocky and
Bullwinkle, UMM, and let's go. Okay? That's the
second one. Does everyone get that?
Audience: Yes
Ross: We're going to try every possible combination.
I don't know how many we'll have here; I'm not a
mathematician. Huh?
Audience: 16
Ross: How many?
Audience: 24
Ross: Okay. We'll just try a few of them then. Okay?
Okay, let's try this one. Let's try UMM, WOW, RB,
and let's go. Okay? We're going to make, keep let's go
the last one for each of them, okay? How's that?
That'll limit it. Yes.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: How many does that limit it to?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Okay. Let's try, number 4 will be WOW, UMM,
RB, let's go have some fun. We'll do, we'll do a total 6
or should we do how many?
Audience: Can you do all six?
Ross: Do all six? What's the next one? My math skills
are pretty shaky. RB, UMM, WOW, let's go, and
what's number 6?
Audience: UMM, other responses
Ross: UMM,
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: RB, WOW, let's go. We'll keep let's go as the
last one. Okay? Here are the instructions. Put your
notes down. These are simple instructions. You're
going to pick a partner, a and b. Okay? We're going to
get an E meter out for each one of you. No, no, no.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Just kidding. Suppress a person order. Ross
Jeffries does hereby declare this suppress a person,
maybe trick, no I'm just kidding. Copyright 1998,
Religious tech ... no. Okay. Here's what we're going to
do. We're going to pick a partner a and b. A is goin g
to hold the list and he's going to, he going to tell the
person the first combination to do. So you're going to
say okay, I want you to do combination one. And the
combination is Rocky and Bullwinkle, WOW, UMM
and let's go have some fun. Okay? Tell the person
what the combination is, you don't have to do it for
him. Okay? Just tell him, here's combination one, do it
in your head. Tell the person to do it in your head and
have them notice what their response is, how it makes
them feel. Okay? Then you go, okay, let's move on to
number 2. Number 2 is WOW, tell them, number 2 is
WOW. Rocky and Bullwinkle, UMM and let's go have
some fun. Run them through each one and let them
decide at the end which one makes them feel the most
ready and the most able to go and actually go up and
talk to that woman. All right? Write it down, write
down the combination that works the best for them.
All right? And then switch sides and the other person
does it to you. Do you understand?
Audience: Yes
48
Ross: Who does not understand? Take about 15
minutes or so to do this. Find a partner and let's get
going.
Audience: Practicing combinations
Ross: _____ mentioned the different things and it's
your dials to twiddle. There is no right or wrong
answer here. So, what I'd like to do is, raise your
hands if you're one of the people when I asked are
you shy about meeting women. Raise your hands if
you raised your hand at that time. Okay. Those, I
know you're, let's hear, keep your hands up. What
combination works, worked best for you?
Audience: The fourth.
Ross: Number 4.
Audience: Uh, yeah.
Ross: So we have a vote for number 4.
Audience: WOW, UMM, Rocky and Bullwinkle let's
go.
Ross: Okay. Another person out there shot a hand
up. What combination?
Audience: Same one.
Ross: Four? Okay. Someone else who had their hand
up. Sir?
Audience: Number 1.
Ross: Number I worked best for you? I want you to
remember which combinations worked best for you.
Who else, one of the shy people, which one worked
best for you? Audience: One and six. Slightly
different
Ross: One and six. Okay. So, okay, another formerly
shy person that had their hand up? Sir, which worked
best for you?
Audience: Three
Ross: Three? Okay.
Audience: Three.
Ross: Three. Okay. Which one?
Audience: Six-way tie
Ross: They all worked?
Audience: They all had the same effect.
Ross: A good effect?
Audience: Yeah, yeah.
Ross: Someone else who had their hand up before.
Which combination?
Audience: Three and four.
Ross: Three and four. Oh boy, your brains are flexible,
finding lots of ways to work for you. Good, I like it.
You're not going to believe what I'm going to do next;
you're just not going to fucking believe it.
Oral Roberts has nothing on me.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Who else?
Audience: His name is Oral?
Ross: That's true.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Yes.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: But, you didn't have your hands raised as shy.
Yeah, you don't count. Only the shy people, who are
the people, who else had their hand up? Okay. We're
going to have some fun. Watch this. All the shy, all
the people that had their hands up, come up to the
front of the room. And line up, no you don't need to
bring your notes. Just remember which combinations
worked best for you, face the room. Line up shoulder
to shoulder. Okay?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: All right.
Audience: Question from audience
Ross: It doesn't matter. Can we, can you move down a
little bit, you want scooch down out of the way.
Move, move, move, I'm going to position, move,
move, move, move, move, move, move. You got it?
Are you okay there? Can you, you can sit if you want
to.
Audience: I'll bring some chairs up for you.
Ross: No, if that's more comfortable, you sit. You do
whatever you want. All right? It's important that you
be comfortable.
Audience: Okay, there was a gentleman,
Ross: You sit. Move the chair over here for him in
front of the TV so he can sit comfortably. You're
going, "What the fuck is he up to?" I always tell
Yates, "I'm going to surprise you this time.” All right.
Here's what we're going to do. All right. Do you
remember what combinations worked best for you?
All right. Okay. We're going to do our multiple group
49
shyness cure.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: First, what we're going to do one piece. I want
you to get a little bit of that shy feeling. So get a little
bit of the shy feeling and notice where it starts in your
body. Okay? Take it, put it three feet in front of you,
and go, Boom, backhand it real hard. Boom. Everyone
do that. So figure out where it is in your body, put it
three feet out in front of you, and go Boom it away.
Major Mark: They go, uhhhh.
Ross: Oh, get Out Of the way
Audience: Laughter
Ross: No, don't do push, go Boom. Boom, make the
noise. Okay. Now close your eyes, everyone close
your eyes, and to yourself, on the inside, do the
combination of sounds that works best for you. To
yourself on the inside, do your combination of
sounds that works best for you. Run through it three
times really fast. Okay. And you've run it three times
really fast, nod your head. Okay. Now I want you to
imagine there's one super-hot woman across the room
and whoever gets to her first gets her. Everybody's
going, okay?
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: All right.
Audience: Cheers and applause.
Ross: Okay. Now. Okay. Try to feel shy but do your
sound sequence.
Audience: Can't do it.
Ross: Try to feel shy but do your sound sequence.
Audience: Can't do it. A little.
Ross: Boom. And do your sound sequence. You all
right?
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: I don't believe you. So, take the feeling, put it
out here. This is not about making me right; it's about
serving you. Put the feeling out here. What direction,
where's the feeling start?
Audience: Response
Ross: What direction does it go?
Audience: It just stays there.
Ross: Okay. Watch. Put it out here. Ready? Boom.
That's right. See how he changed? Now try and feel it.
Now try to feel nervous. Do your sounds. Look up
and do your sounds. Close your eyes and disappear
the room and do it. WOW. There you go, that's better.
Okay. Do yours. Try and feel shy, do your sounds.
No, he can't get anywhere near shy. Go ahead.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Try it. You all right?
Audience: A little bit.
Ross: A little bit shy? Okay? Watch this. That's all
right. Watch, watch this. Take the, where's the shy
feeling start?
Audience: Right here.
Ross: Where does it go?
Audience: Up
Ross: Okay. Put it, put it out here, put it three feet out
in front of you. Boom, you almost backhanded me.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Now. That's all right. I'll take the sacrifices of
what's required to help him. Now try and get it. Do
your sounds and now try and feel shy.
Audience: I feel a lot better.
Ross: Yeah. A lot better. Okay. There you go. And
while you're waiting for it to be your turn, I only want
you to rehearse the sounds. That's all I wa nt you to
keep practicing. Go ahead. Try hard and vain to feel
shy as you do those sounds.
Audience: I still feel a little shy.
Ross: A little" flow much?
Audience: Urn, 20%.
Ross: Okay. Where's the feeling?
Audience: It's kind of right in here and everything
goes into it.
Ross: Okay. Put it out in front of you, watch my
hands. So it goes like that?
Audience: Right.
Ross: Watch, watch, watch. Boom. Now try and get it
back.
Audience: Should I try and get what back?
Ross: Try and get it back and see what happens.
Audience: I think remnants, most of it's gone.
Ross: Okay, now do the sounds. Now try to feel shy
while you're doing the sounds. Audience: Response
50
Ross: Moves down there?
Audience: Well, I don't know. I guess it was kind of
all in this area and so the part up here was gone, but
now there's a little bit.
Ross: What, what do you think you should do with it
then?
Audience: I should probably bring it out, - it,
Ross: Well, do it
Audience: Slap it.
Ross: Do it, do it.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Do it. Now what?
Audience: I feel better.
Ross: Yeah. Okay. There's still a little bit there, but
we'll find ... Okay. Now you do it. Do your sounds. He
looks a lot like you, Yates. That's kind of scary.
Audience: Laughter
?: Lucky you.
Ross: Well, try and feel shy.
Audience: Shy?
Ross: Yeah. Can you feel shy while you do your
sounds?
Audience: What does that mean?
Ross: Ah, good. He's got it. Okay. You do it. By the
way, hands in pockets is an apology, so take your
hands out of your pockets, There you g o.
Audience: I'm still shy.
Ross: Still shy? Okay. We're going to do something
with you, cause you're doing something else. So, you
hold on there. You try it.
Audience: What do I do first?
Ross: Do your sounds. Humming. The combination
that works best for you. And as you're doing the
sounds, try to feel shy.
Audience: It's difficult to do.
Ross: Yeah. Difficult what? To do the sounds or to
feel shy?
Audience: To do the sounds and feel shy at the same
time.
Ross: Exactly. That's my whole point. So what are you
going to do? Feel shy or do the sounds?
Audience: I'm going to do the sounds.
Ross: Ah, it makes sense to me, too.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Okay. You stay here cause I'm going to fuck
you up good. Everyone else sit down.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: This is what's fun for me. You know, I pound on
people. Sharp, ... Okay. So, sit up straight. Do your
sounds, we'll see just who, close your eyes, do your
sounds. Which combination works best for you?
Ross: Three? Okay, do them. I need my chair. Then
why did you hand them to me for? I don't need it. All
right. Sometimes more efficient means I'm required to
get cooperation from the _____ , ya? All right, stop
don't feel good. Stop it. Okay. So, so what happens
when You do your sounds?
Audience: I still feel shy.
Ross: Good. All right. Cool. Show me where you feel
It. I want to be shy like you, so where does it go?
Audience: Right here and it goes down.
Ross: Right here? Is it on the surface of your skin,
where, how deep does it go'!
Audience: I don't know, about, maybe about half way
through my body cavity.
Ross: Half way through your body cavity? Shit, okay.
Let me try that. I'm not making fun; I'm going to be
him. Wow, does that, does it make you kind of dizzy?
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, it made me dizzy, too. Well, I'm in
his body doing it. Okay, here's the first step. What I
want you to do is take that feeling. I'm not going to,
close your eyes. I'm not going to ask that feeling to
change any faster than you can do something. Take it
and only put it one-quarter of the way into your body
cavity. So instead of making it go halfway through,
same feeling, same, same direction, but only a quarter.
Now you probably couldn't make it only an eighth of
the way into your body cavity.
Audience: No, not at all.
Ross: Huh?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Okay. Now I bet you're probably not capable of
just putting it on the surface of your skin. Cause then
you might imagine a shower washing it off. Sssssss.
What's the sound of a shower running, cleaning and
51
cleansing you? That's right. Just rub it right off the
surface of your skin. What can happen IS You can
grow a new skin that keeps it from ever going back.
Sssss. Animals molt, did you know that? Animals, as
they grow, molt and leave their old skin behind. They
grow a new skin that fits the new animal that's larger,
stronger, more powerful, more mature. Once upon a
time, there were two caterpillars crawling along the
ground, happy to be caterpillars. And they saw the
shadow of something from overhead. And they
looked up and it was a butterfly. And one caterpillar
said to the other, "You'll never get me up in one of
them dangerous things.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. Now. Open your eyes, close them,
rapidly. Open, close, open, close, keep them closed.
Now, try and get the feeling halfway into Your body
cavity. Notice what happens with it. What happens
with it?
Audience: It won't go.
Ross. Where does it go now?
Audience: It feels like it's kind of mushing up against
me, or like ...
Ross: That's right. Now, then when you take your
hand ... First of all, put it three feet away from you,
take your hand and really backhand real strong and
go Boom out loud as you do it.
Audience: Boom.
Ross: No, what happens when it tries to come back?
Hit it again if you have to.
Audience: Boom
Ross: Now get the feeling back and see what
happens. Try and get it back.
Audience: It doesn't seem to be coming back.
Ross: That's right. But we're going to fuck him up. I
promised I'd fuck him up, so I'm really going to fuck
him up. Well, you put yourself in the seat, so now
you're in for it.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Cause now that he can't feel bad, I'm going to
show him how to feel wonderful. Don't you, watching
by unconscious example, learn to do this to
yourselves. It's only for him. I do not want your
unconscious mind, the part of you that sleeps and
dreams, the part of you that beats your heart and
breathes for you, to begin to do this for yourself, so
that you can do it in a dream tonight, over and over
and over again, cause that would be bad. All right.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Here's what we're going to do with you, my
good friend. What's your name?
Audience: Jason
Ross: Jason. Jason and the Argonauts. I like that.
Okay. Can you remember a time, I want you to close
your eyes, and remember a time when you were just
feeling ecstatically wonderful. It can be any
experience. I'll give you an example of an experience I
think of when I first did this. Kimmy and I, back when
we were dating, we went to Alaska. And we went
fishing. And after we caught our salmon. she caught a
salmon the size of her body. She's only four foot ten,
so, I have a picture of her holding that. We went
whale watching. We got within about 150 feet from a
humpback whale nursing its baby. And we went, we
were, ah, ah, ah, we couldn't even talk. And then it
turned around and it ponged the boat with its sonar.
Pong. And we were like, ahhhh. I'm telling you, one of
those. So, remember a time when you just felt so
ecstatically wonderful you couldn't fucking believe it.
I have a, I'm getting psychic stuff for him now. I'm not
kidding. I'm serious about this. Do you ever use
somatic expressions to describe how YOU feel, like
"It's a pain in the ass" or "it makes my skin crawl,"?
Jason: Sure.
Ross: Yeah. Or, "you've got, I've got her, she's under,
she really got under my skin" or that kind of stuff?
Jason: Not so much, yeah, pain in the ass.
Ross: Pain in the ass. Yeah. You, I bet you use a lot
kinesthetic sensations to describe the states. Okay.
Did you ever have an injury to your upper back or
neck area?
Jason. - Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, uh huh. This side?
Jason: In the, yeah, in the center.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Were you like somewhere between
5 and 7?
Jason: No.
Ross: How old were you?
Jason: I was 21.
Ross: Okay. Well, I got the number wrong. You didn't
have something when you were ... So, okay, if you
were 21, 20, then I'll just say, how old are you now?
52
Jason: 24
Ross: Okay, so it's close to being 21, 20, around that
area. I'm doing the math wrong. But, okay, five years, I
get five and seven for some reason, so maybe that's
how old the injury is. I don't know.
Audience: Maybe it's the vertebra number.
Ross: Maybe it's the vertebra number. I don't know.
But I'm getting five or seven. Okay. Okay. Now I'm
really in with him, so I'm going to zap, there are a lot of
ways I can do this. I can fuck with you so many ways.
I have many ways to hurt you. Okay. Okay. Close
your eyes. I want you to remember, remember that
situation, see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel
how it felt. Yeah. I want you to notice where that
ecstatic, wonderful feeling starts on your body.
Where does it start? Okay. And show me where it
goes as it continues. Show me the direction with your
hand, don't tell me verbally, show Inc. It rises LIP like
that. And then where does it go? In that kind of, so it
rises up, circles around Your head in that direction.
Then where does it go?
Jason: It just stays there.
Ross: Okay. I'm going to show you how to do
something. you ever see a loop-de-loop on the roller
coaster? Whoo, whoo. Okay. I want you to start it
going, make it circle around your head, then bring it
back through here, and get it going again. Okay? So
circle around your head, and then, put it right back
through here, loop it through here and start it going
again. Okay? And loop it real fast, over and over and
over again Yeah, that's right. A little bit faster. Faster.
Faster. Faster. Now you don't have to have a lot
sensory acuity to know that he feels good, right?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Faster. Oh, UMM, UMM, add in the sound
UMM, UMM, to yourself. Make it a female voice, oh,
umm, heavy breathing. And now, to yourself, I want
you to allow a word to come into your mind that
describes this state. Don't tell me what that word is.
Okay? Open your eyes, Close them. Okay, now. I
want you to imagine there's a beautiful woman in front
of you, say that word to yourself. Now, try to feel
nervous and bad. That's why I get paid the big bucks.
Okay, go sit down. Give him a hand.
Audience: Applause
Ross: I was telling Chris out in the hall that one of the
metaphors I used is the guys are in, You guys come
in, you've had this, you know, this problem your
whole life and you've tried your best to work out and
you couldn't do it. My view is to like, you're in a
wrestling match or boxing match and someone's been
beating the snot out of you and you get tag me. I get
to climb in the ring and beat the holy, fucking, living
shit out of this thing that's been tormenting you, you
know, and just show it no mercy. Break its back. I hear
its bones crunching as it expires in its death rattle.
You know, I stomp its face into curve. I like it. It's nice
and hostile.
Audience: laughter
Ross: If you're going to be hostile, be hostile in a
direction that serves people, right? That's way I say.
Okay.
Audience: Nuclear bomb
Ross: What's that?
Audience: Nuclear bomb
Ross: That's right. That's why I showed you that.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: That's why I showed you. So, one of the things
I want you to draw from this is not that I'm some kind
of miracle worker, because there's a structure to what I
do. What I want you to get is you can learn to do this
for yourself. Remember what I said. Granted that a
woman is going to put you altered state, why not
design in the altered state you're going to go into.
Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Now watch this. I'm not done. We're going to
play a little game. We're all going to go to the movies.
Sound fun?
Audience: Yes
Ross: All right. How many people have ever, oh my
God, how many people ever been, do they have
electronic stores here like Circuit City, Good Guys,
what do they have in Chicago?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: All right. Well, Best Buy, that kind of thing. I
went to buy a TV and they something called pip -
picture in a picture. So this is for you real fucking TV
addicts. You can watch the Bulls game here, here's
Babylon Five, over here is the tit channel,
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Here's Disney, CNN, the Discovery Channel,
thank god you can only hear one sound channel, but
... Okay. This is, and I have one on mine where you
can switch them around, so you can put this one in
53
the center, this one comes down here, that one goes
over there. You understand what I'm saying?
Audience: Yes
Ross. - It's not enough to be sucking on the glass tit,
You have to have, you know, the whole thing going.
So, we're going to play a little game. Doesn't this look,
who's Jewish? Doesn't this look like an ark?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Buzzo ta to rah. We're now going to read from
the book of Moses. Okay. So, here's what we're going
to do. I want you to imagine that your mind, that your
mind, I want you to imagine your mind is like a giant
movie screen. Okay? Can you do that? Now, by the
way, who here has trouble visualizing? Okay. All
right. We're going to fuck with you guys later, too.
But for now, what I want you to do is imagine you can
visualize. Now, for those of you who can't, who's
having trouble visualizing? What's your name sir?
Audience: Chris
Ross. - Chris, come up. Oh boy, Ross is going to fuck
me up.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: By the way, does anyone have anything for the
throat, like lozenges or ... No, I need something
stronger. What do you have? Huh
Audience: I got some
Ross: Will it help?
Audience: Yep.
you can suck on.
Ross: Get it. By the way, Mark is someone's who's
made tremendous improvements, hasn't he? He really
has. I can't believe it, man. We are fucking miracle
workers.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Lazarus, come out of the tomb. Yeah, we do, but
he's doing, he's doing much better. World's better. All
right. What's your name?
Audience: Chris
Ross: This your first time here?
Chris: No.
Ross: You've been to other seminars?
Chris: I've been to one.
Ross: When was that?
Chris: About a year ago.
Ross: Okay. All right, Here's what I want you to do.
Make a picture in your mind of anything. All right,
Now, I want to make a point. I'm not picking on him,
but, there's a, there's different physiologies
associated with different circuitry and different tasks
that you give your brain to do. That, if you notice his
posture, he's kind of like hunched forward. Okay. This
is a posture for accessing feelings. It's not a very
good posture for visualizing, so sit up straight, that's
right, look up, tilt your head to the side, look up. Now
close your eyes but keep your eyes turned upwards.
And now, can you make an image of a golden
triangle? Breathe from up here. Breathe high and
shallow up there.
Chris: I can imagine a triangle
Ross: Yeah
Chris: but I can't really see it clearly.
Ross: Well, how do you imagine something you can't
see? I don't get it. flow do you know, if you can't see,
how do you know you're imagining it?
Chris: I can see things in a dream state, like when I'm
in a conscious state, I just sort of know what the
triangle looks like.
Ross: Oh, dream state, huh? Really? Hmm, that's very
interesting to me. A dream state. Well, can you, how,
how quickly can you close your eyes. Go into that
dream state. If you were to put the dream state in your
right hand, turn your right hand palm up, put the
dream state in your right hand. Feel it like a ball of
energy. You ever hold a breast implant in your hand,
or a piece of meat or ... ? I'm serious, feel it, feel the
weight of it, the shape of it. Turn this palm up. Over
here, I want you to feel your normal waking state.
Now begin to slowly bring those two hands together,
very slowly. Such that any ability in one is accessible
from the other. Any ability in the other is accessible
from the one. You're not sure exactly what that means.
That's right, but keep doing it. What color is the
energy ball in that hand?
Chris: It just a bright silver.
Ross: What color is this one?
Chris: Colorless.
Ross: That's right. Now watch this. (Blowing) Let
some of the color from that one go into this one. Pull
your hands back apart. How much of the color went
into that one?
Chris: 20%
54
Ross: Pour more in. Take your hand and pour more in.
How much more is in there now?
Chris: 30 or 40%.
Ross: Okay, you get it 50/50. Get close but don't let
yourself get it all the way. All right. Now, put this
hand down, this hand down, keep this one up. Put
that on your forehead. Flatten your hand, take a deep
breath, now see a gold triangle clearly.
Chris: Yes.
Ross: You see it clearly?
Chris: Yes
Ross: Okay. Now, how quickly can you turn that gold
triangle into a gold square? Or maybe it will turn itself
into a gold square. Snap. By the way, notice if you
want more visualization energy, it goes right from this
hand and flows into that one and let's you see more.
You see the gold square?
Chris: Yes
Ross: Oooh, notice what it's like when it turns into a
gold circle.
Chris: It takes a while, but yeah.
Ross: Yeah, isn't that cool? How big can you make
that circle? How big can the circle make itself?
Chris: It's all around me.
Ross: All around you, huh? What would it be like
that, if the color of that circle began running all
through your body? Ooh. What would it be like if
suddenly you sprouted gold angel wings? What
would that look like? Put the ... All right. Now go back
into your seat. Okay. Now, I have no idea what I just
did. I was making it up. I was. Based on some things
he was showing me. Remember when I said, when I
asked him what color is, the one in this hand, didn't I
tell you, I said no color? Did you see me mouth it?
And what did he say?
Audience: No color.
Ross: Cause I was right in his head with him, seeing it
as he was seeing it. Yeah.
Audience: Were you trying to connect the two
hemispheres of his brain with that?
Ross: That's what I was doing. Urn hm. Yeah. I
wouldn't quite put it that way, but that's what I was
doing. So anyway. So, these are all things that you
won't dream about tonight. I forbid you.
Audience: laughter
Ross: And if I, if you do dream about it, I give you
amnesia so you won't remember you've dreamt about
it. You'll just find yourself doing it. Okay. Time for a 5
minute break.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Let's talk about initial pickups. I'd like to jump
back and forth between things. Its called
fractionation. So each t1me we go back to a topic, the
topic gets reinforced better, rather than if we just did
one thing all the way through, finished, and went to
the next one. Plus, it makes it more fun for me. Now, I
think the most important thing to do when you're
actually making your initial approach is to be
outrageous. When I build a state, I want to build a
state that's outrageous, engaging, cocky, and
outgoing. Those are my qualities I like to build in.
Now, you'll notice, nowhere in here, nowhere in here,
nowhere in here did I say serious. Okay? I want to
have fun. So, you're not going to believe this, but I'm
going to show you a really great technique for
meeting women who look bitchy or in a group of girls.
Okay? What if some of toughest situations, how
about a great looking woman who's stunning. She's
got like a very unfriendly look don't talk to me manner.
Would you like to learn how to get that one every
time?
Audience: yes
Ross: Okay. I'm going to show you. What about,
there's a group of like 5 or 6 girls standing there and
you don't know how to introduce yourself, would you
like to get that one?
Audience: Yes
Ross: You're not going to believe me.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Oh, that's fine. Pelone, have you seen me do
this?
Pelone: Oh, yeah.
Ross: Have any of you seen me do it? Okay. Here's
what you do. You're not going to believe it. Okay? I
swear to you, this is what works. I swear to you.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Well, try it. We're going to show you how to do
it. Okay? So, imagine there's really hot h. b. with a
don't bother me, I'm in a hurry thing. Okay? Here's
what I'll do. I'll walk up and go, "Excuse me, princess,
excuse me. Darling I am so sorry to interrupt you but
you are so precious. What is your name, you big, little
goddess you? Oh my god, my name is Ross. You
55
know, I must tell you, I hope your man is nicer to you
than my man is to me, cause men can be such p -r-i-c-k
pricks, can't they? My man is a prick with a capital K.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And they'll go, "Oh my god, yes.” "And you
know, the thing is we nurture, we nourish, but do they
appreciate it? No, they don't. Climb on, have their
way, boom, get me a sandwich and a beer. I hate it.”
Audience: laughter
Ross: "I just stamp my feet ...” and they're laughing
and being friendly. Oh my god, they're going, "Oh,
yeah.” I go, I'll go, "Let me ask You something. With
skin like that, you don't need makeup do you?" "Well,
I use a little foundation.” "Oh, come on. Just between
you and I. you don't really need anything, do you?"
"Well, no, not really.” "You know, look at you. You're
just a little waif. Do you eat at all?" I'll like pinch them
like this, they'll go "Give me a hug.” "Umm, you know,
you've got to put a little something on. You're just
going to blow away. So what do you do for a living?"
All this.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'll go, "Well listen. There's something I must
tell you. I must tell you I'm not really gay, but you
look so unapproachable I had to come over here ...”
Audience: Laughter and applause
Ross: They're like, aahhhhh.
Audience: Laughter. Where did, did you have that, in
the notes?
Ross: No, it's not in the notes.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: No, no, now, here's another story. Pelone and I
were in this restaurant in Manhattan Beach and
normally, they're real nice friendly women there. Real
nice place. But, tell them, did they have attitudes or
what?
Pelone: Everyone had attitudes. They were even, they
were barely friendly.
Ross: That's real bad.
Pelone: _____ friendliness.
Ross: We sat there for like maybe half an hour trying
stuff and nothing was working. So I said to him,
"Okay, it's time to pull out the weapon of last resort.”
Pelone: His secret weapon.
Ross: Now, you didn't know what I was going to do,
did you?
Pelone: I had no clue.
Ross: I said, "I haven't, I haven't done this in a while,
in like two years, but let's, let's go for it.” So I turned
around to these two girls and I said, "Excuse me,
angels. I am so sorry to interrupt but both of you, you
are just like butter. What are your names?" And they
introduced ... I don't even remember their names. I was
like kidding around with them. And I go, "Can you
believe the p-i-g pigs in this place? You know, they're
just staring at our crotches or our cleavage.” And
they were like wholly into it.
Audience: laughter
Ross: I talked to them, I did the gay act for what, like
10 minutes?
Pelone: About that.
Ross: And then I said, "You know, I must tell you that
I'm not really gay. You know, we wanted to see if you
had a sense of humor, cause all the other women in
here have bad attitudes.” And they're going, "No,
you're gay.”
Audience-. laughter
Ross: They didn't want to believe it. So, finally I said,
they said, "Well, we're inviting you to our next party,
cause you're just too much fun. You know. All the
other guys in here, ...” So, this is a really good
approach, it's a really, now it takes some balls. It's
absolutely outrageous.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Take some practice. Now let's all try it. Now
everybody. okay.
Audience: laughter
Ross: So, here's the
Audience: Response from audience.
… All right.
Ross: Now a really good way to do this,
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: excuse me, hush, I'm speaking now. Okay. A
really good way to do this, a really good, I'm going to
spank, pank pank you. Okay. A really good way to do
this is go get Saturday Night Live tapes and watch
Dana Carvey do Church Lady.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: That's what you gotta do. Okay? And you want
56
to make the transition going, "Now, there's something
I must confess, I'm not really gay.” Switch your
tonality like that. Okay? That's a really good
approach. The fake like you're gay tonality. It works.
Okay?
Audience: I'll try that when I'm out of town.
Ross: It's called ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: That's smart. No problem. Good strategy. I call,
I put this under the overall umbrella of put 'em on.
When I say let's go have some fun, I mean let's go
have some fun. Put 'em on. Okay? Here's the general,
the general structure for doing a pickup. The general
structure for doing a pickup is number 1, you want to
interrupt their current state. Second, you want to
focus their attention on you. Third, is take control of
their internal representations. By internal re
presentations I mean how they're talking to
themselves, the sounds they're making, what they're
visualizing. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Now, I like putting people on. I just like doing it.
It's a really good non-standard way to do things since
they're not used to it. One of my students came up
with this approach. He walked up to a woman and
really wussy, he'll go, he'll go, "Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me. Has anyone ever told you look like you
have a wonderful sense of humor?" And they go,
"Oh" and they'll laugh, cause ... I don't do that one,
but he does that. Okay. So, interrupt their current
state. I like putting them on. Here's another one that's
worked for me. Now listen. It really works for me. By
the way, another gay story, another of the gay things.
Another woman in a yogurt place. Yogurt places are
great to meet women the hours of 3: 30 and about 4:
45. There's a secret to meeting women. It's called
blood sugar. When blood sugar drops in the late
afternoon, they all go for their coffee or their sweets.
All right? This girl, by the way, we're going to call
here on the phone and say hello to her ... She wants
to talk to all you guys. She wants me to put the phone
up while you go hello, Gina. So, we'll do it for her.
What the fuck? Anyway, she walks into the yogurt
place where I'm sitting there with my publicist. . And
she's just glowing, and I forget what I said to her, so
I'm like, you know, "You look like you're glowing.
What's going on with you?" "Oh, I just finished
shooting my first feature film. It's a starring role with a
major star, so I'm really happy about it, blah, blah,
blah.” I said, "Really? Do you have a boyfriend? Do
you want a better one? Answer the second question
first.” She said, "No, I don't have a boyfriend. Here's
my number.” Then she left. Okay. So I called her. We
played phone tag. I could never get a hold of her.
Three months go by and I'm going through my cards
and here's her card. And for some reason it stuck to
my fingers. So I figured okay, what can I do? You
were there that night. Okay? And so I figured, all
right, what am I going to do here? I can't call up and
go, "Remember me? I met you three months ago and
we never got together?" Why wouldn't I, what would
that be all example of doing?
Audience: Supplicating
Ross: That's right. And he who supplicates, ...
Audience-. Masturbates.
Ross: That's right. And we've all done enough of that.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: All right. I mean, you've heard of double blind
studies? How do you think they got double blind?
Audience-. Laughter
Ross: I just keep getting better and better at this. All
right. So anyway. So I figured, just out of the blue, I
picked up the phone, you're a witness, I went, "Hi,
Gina. I met you about three months ago in the yogurt
shop, back when I was straight. But now I'm gay, the
tree's full of parrots. So listen, now that I'm totally
safe, let's get together over coffee, shoot the shit, we
can talk about what p-i-g pigs men are. I hope your
man is nicer to you than mine is to me and ... You
know, listen, because I'm _____ the only thing of
yours that I really want to get into is your wardrobe.
So give me a call back ...” She calls me back the next
day. Boom.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You know, boom. So, anyway. So, it's an
outrageous thing that works. Here's another way I put
women on. When I go Into a place I find what I call
the catbird seat. The catbird, everyone know what the
catbird is? The catbird is the bird that's assigned by
the flock to watch for the cat, so the flock can feed
peacefully. So the catbird has to sit in the place where
he can see everything. So I will sit so I'm facing the
door so I can see everyone coming in. Okay? Okay,
catbird scat. So, the woman will walk by me and I'll put
this look on my face, or I'll even walk up to her. Who
was there, who was with me when the Penthouse guy,
we're going to be, the story's being written about me
in Penthouse, too. So, I'm getting more and more
famous. You were there. There's a beautiful blonde
girl, what was her name? It starts with an E. Erin? It
57
was, it was, she was real cute, though. Okay? So
anyway, beautiful model turned out.
Audience: Major league
Ross: Major league h. b. Major h. b. She's sitting and
the guy says, "Go pick her up.” So I walk around and
I approach her from a 45-degree angle so she can't
really see me. I'll say, I walk up to her and I say,
"Excuse me. I know this is going to sound like to
oldest, dumbest pickup line in the world, but I know, I
know I've seen you somewhere before and it's, it's
killing me cause I can't figure it out.” I did it so
sincerely, she started trying to help me. Said, "Well
where? Where do you think You've seen me? Where
did you go to school?" I went, she went, "Did you,
was it at Santa Monica College?" I went, "No, no.” I
went, "Oh my god, I know where it was. I was reading
a book on angels and they had your picture on the
cover.” Now she laughed, of course. Right? She
laughed. Now that's not enough. I didn't want to leave
it there. I said, here's what I said, here's what makes it
work. Just that line alone, she's going to go "Thank
you" and walk off. Here's what made it work. So I
started out being funny, putting her on. So I started
out from funny and then where do you think I went
from there?
Audience: Sincere
Ross: I went to being sincere. I said, and then I to
being challenging. I said, "I'm glad you laughed
because I think you are absolutely breathtaking, but I
wanted to make sure you had more going for you than
just that before I introduced myself.” So the language
is, "I'm glad you laughed.” This isn't in your notes so
you can write it down. ”I'm glad you laughed because
I wanted, I'm glad you laughed because I think you
are absolutely breathtaking and I wanted to make sure
you had more going for you than just that before I
introduced myself My name is" - your name goes
here. Now, notice the dynamic there. I'm saying yeah,
you're breathtaking, so what, let's get it out of the
way, I acknowledge it, point over, let's go beyond
that. I'm not slobbering over her and I'm not
pretending I don't notice it either. Now, notice the
dynamic there. I'm saying yeah, you're breathtaking,
so what, let's get it out of the way, I acknowledge it,
point over, let's go beyond that. I'm not slobbering
over her and I'm not pretending I don't notice it either.
So, Amy, you could say, "God, I notice you look just
like that hunk of a stud Ross Jeffries, but I want to
make sure you had more going for you than just that
before I introduced myself. My name is Kathleen.
Excuse me, Brother Kathleen.” Whatever. Okay, get
it?
Yates: This is the end of Side 5 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
58
Tape 3 – Side 2
Yates: This is the beginning of Side 6 of the Ross
Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: My name is Kathleen. Excuse me, Brother
Kathleen. Whatever. Okay? Get it? Does that make
sense?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: And then I ...
Audience: Is this all-conscious level here, though,
right no"?
Ross: What?
Audience: Is this all-conscious level ...
Ross: I don't understand your question?
Audience: I mean, there's nothing covert about this?
Ross: No, no. No, you're being straightforward, blunt
and you're not making any apologies. See, I'm what
I'm doing is I'm testing to see if they have a sense of
humor. Then, as soon as I find out that they do, and if
they don't, I walk on. Chris, maybe they do. They just
don't like my joke. That's possible. Okay. So, I want to
interrupt their state. I'm testing to see what kind of
response I get. Then I go immediately to being sincere
and then I go to be challenging. Then I'll say to her,
"Look, " listen to me, listen to me guys. I'll say, "Look,
I don't have a lot of time right now, .” Did you hear
that earlier today?
Audience: Yes
Ross: "I don't have a lot of time right now, but I tell
you what. If you'll sit with me for 5 minutes, I'll
analyze your handwriting. I'll tell you secrets about
yourself that your best friends don't know, and I'll get
to learn if you're the kind of person I want to get to
know better.” Now, how many do you think actually
sit down and want to have their writing done out for
that?
Audience: 100'%?
Ross: About 85-90%. And the better looking they are,
the more they're willing to sit down. Cause no one's
ever challenged them like that. See, most of them here,
"Hey you, whoo, hey baby.”
Audience: So what's does "I don't have a lot of time
right now?"
Ross: But if you'll sit with me for 5 minutes. Who went
to get those lozenges or they haven't got any on
them? I'll be all right. Who here is a M. D. ? I need you
to look at my throat. Okay? Actually, my butt itches,
too, so I need you to ... just kidding. How will I tell
one from the other, Ross?
Audience: I'll show _____ .
Ross: Oh, no, no. If you sit with me for 5 minutes, I'll
analyze hand writing, you'll learn secrets about
yourself your best friends don't know, and I'll get to
find out if you're the kind of person I want to get to
know better. You get it? Do you hear the challenges
and the opportunities you're structuring there
throughout the whole thing? Are you, are you in any
way supplicating?
Audience: No.
Ross: Yes sir.
Audience: Do you have any _____ available so we
can learn how to analyze handwriting?
Ross: I think we may have a deck here. I think we
have product, yeah, we have a deck of cards called a
grapho deck that we can sell you. It does it for you.
You go right to the cards. They're like flash cards.
You match it. Within 2 or 3 weeks, you'll have them
memorized. They're great. Ebin, do you use them?
Ebin: They're awesome.
Ross: What's that? Louder.
Ebin: The singular best tool for reading women like
that is a prop.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. It's real good.
Ebin: It's a crutch you use.
Ross: Yeah. I didn't create it, someone else created it.
But, it's a great product and we sell it. Okay? That's
one approach. Now let me show you another
approach. This next approach only works if you
pause properly, okay? You must use pausing.
Because when you pause it creates response
attentiveness. So you want to learn to use your
pausing. And also learn to speak at a certain pace.
Okay. Here, look. Here comes Mr. Metronome. Is it
picking this up? Yeah? Okay. Most of you are talking
like here. Let me, let me do Mary had a little lamb at
this speed. Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white
as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb
was sure to go. Okay? Too fast. Mary had (pause) a
little lamb, (pause) it's fleece was white as snow,
(pause) and everywhere (pause) that Mary went,
(pause) the lamb was sure to (pause) go. So, you want
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to learn to speak at the right pace, which will give you
some ... Oh, it just died there. You want to learn to
pause p roperly, so, here's how you do it. You walk up
to a woman, and you say, "Excuse me, excuse me, "
brief pause. The dot is a pause, okay? Forgive the
interruption, brief pause, but you are so, pause,
pause, pause, pause, pause, so say, "Excuse me,
forgive the interruption, but you are so (pause).” And
they're like, "What?" Okay? They're wondering,
"What the fuck is he going to say? What? I'm on fire?
I'm a whore? What? I'm fat?"
Audience: laughter
Ross: "I've got cellulite?" So, this doesn't work. Going
tip, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption, but you are
so absolutely breathtaking I just had to meet you.”
Doesn't work. Why?
Audience: Too fast.
Ross: Too fast.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: But if I say,
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Right. But If I say, "Excuse me. Forgive the
interruption, but you are so (pause) absolutely
breathtaking, (pause) I had to take the risk to meet
you and find out what the person inside is like. My
name is Boom.” Okay? Now, notice how I say it. Am I,
yes?
Audience: At forgive the Interruption ...
Ross: I'm being excessively polite. I'm just being
polite.
Audience: and the softer in general?
Ross: Yeah
Audience: How do you use those without getting into
the mindset of someone you used to be?
Ross: Because my tonality isn't "Excuse me" it's "Hey,
I'm being polite.” What I'm saying is, "I know this is
kind of a nerve-racking thing, I'm a strange guy, we're
in the big city, I'm taking, " I'm pacing that. I'm going,
"It's okay, relax.” It sounds like I'm supplicating, but
really I'm doing is, "It's all right, relax.” You know, I'm
stroking the chicken's back. Well, I shouldn't say
stroking the chicken. I'm ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'm tickling the alligator's belly so it can go into
trance. You know? So, "Excuse me. Forgive the
interruption, but You are so (pause)"
Audience: Response from audience:
Ross: Say it, okay, so, say it with me.
Ross & Audience: Excuse me. Forgive the
interruption, but you are so (pause) absolutely
breathtaking, I had to take the risk to meet you and
find out what the person inside is like.
Ross: My name is so and so. That's another good
one. Now, here's one I've used. I've walked up, this is
a put-on. I've walked up and said, "Excuse me. I, I
know this is going to sound like a little, an odd
question, but can you think of the friend who makes
you laugh the most?" And when they think of that
friend, what are they going to do?
Audience: Probably start laughing.
Ross: They're going to smile. And I'll say, "Good,
because I had to see the smile that goes with that
absolutely perfect face.” "Excuse me. Can you, I know
this is going to sound like bit of an odd question. But
can you think of the friend that makes you laugh the
most?" If they don't smile, walk away. But most of the
time, they're going to smile and go, "Yes.” And go,
"Good. Cause I had to se the smile that goes with that
absolutely perfect face.” What?
Audience: I was thinking that when you're coming
back from the mall ...
Ross: Oh, okay.
Audience: And when, there's a car n ext to us that has
sonic girls in it and we started, we started yelling
something out the window to get their attention. Just
something real funny, you know, and joking, and they
just went, you know. And they were just like, then
they started joking around.
Audience: Response from audience
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Responses from audience
Audience: They didn't, I mean, I guess they're, I don't
know if they're threatened ...
Ross: We were driving around and we saw ...
Yesterday, we were coming back from the aquarium
and there's a dark-haired girl driving next to us. Hugh
_____ bouncing as she was driving. Yeah. I looked
over and I said, "Excuse me. Are you Jewish?" She
said, "No.” I said, "Never mind.”
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Could you repeat that o ne again, the last
one?
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Ross: Oh, "Excuse me. I know this is going to sound
like something of an odd question, but can you think
of the friend, but can you think of the friend, that
makes you laugh the most?" And then when they
smile, you say, "Good. Because I wanted to see the
smile that goes with that absolutely perfect face.”
Yes? Oh, I'm sorry. I already did it once, so, two times,
I don't need to repeat it. That's all right. Are these
good to you?
Audience: Yes.
Ross. - Another one I'll do is, if I notice a woman has
really good energy - don't ask me what that means but
if she looks lively and happy, I'll say, "Excuse me. I
just had to tell you, you have the most wonderful
energy. I had to introduce myself.” Now that line is
perfect. If it's true, if it's really true and you do
observe that, women love that line. They gobble that
line like candy. To tell a woman she has great energy,
it's an absolutely perfect line. If you mean it. What are
you laughing at? Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: If she's happy, she's lively. That's a very
flattering, thing to say to a woman. Oh, now here's
one. Here's an old standby if YOU can't think of
anything else to say. Find some article of clothing
she's wearing, and you say, "Where did you get
those x?" where x represents whatever the clothing IS.
Okay? "Where did you get those x? Where did you
get that x?" And when she tells you, you go, "Great.
Because I really like them.” And then you say, "Of
course, the person wearing them is a shining example
of genetic perfection.” Now you think that line is
stupid, but they always laugh. They always laugh or
are flattered. And then you say, "I'm glad you
laughed cause I think you are absolutely
breathtaking. And I wanted to make sure you had
more going for you than that b efore I introduced
myself.” That's a great standby. ”Where did you get
those?" You can always think of that right off the bat.
Now, you don't want to go up and say, "Excuse me,
but you make my dick harder than Chinese calculus.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Ye ah, you'd be off, you'd probably be off on the
wrong foot. Yes?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Excuse me, but, ... -
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: How do you know, like the genetic
perfection thing, how do you know that that's the
approach to use as opposed to the one like you
approached her before, where you ...
Ross: Good question.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Let me do this. Here's how I make a judgment. I
make a judgment based on a couple of factors, which
approach I'm going to use. First of all, I look to see
how open and friendly she looks. If she looks open
and friendly and happy, I'm going to use more of a
straight approach. I'm going to come up and say,
"You've got great energy" or "Excuse me, I, but you
are so absolutely breathtaking, I had to take the risk
to meet you and find out what the person inside is
like" cause I'm more likely ... If she looks a little less
friendly, or I just haven't had much of an opportunity
to observe her cause she's, she's g oing by in a hurry,
then I'll use the fake like I know her. Fake like I know
her. I'll use the fake like I know her or I'll use the gay
approach. Well, it's true. The more uptight and bitchy
she looks, the more gay I'm going to get.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yes, Mark.
Mark: With a really like tense, I found that if you can
find some kind of flaw and point it out, it knocks them
off completely.
Ross: Well, that's a, that's a risky thing to do.
Mark: Well, when you know they're going to be a
total bitch, ...
Ross: But you don't know.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: You can change states. I don't assume, she may
just be in a hurry or have a mask up cause she doesn't
want to get lilt on. But I'm not, I'm just saying,
"Precious, you are like butter. I had to meet you.
Audience: We don't get, is there any ...
Ross: Oh, you have to say it exactly right, you big
bitch.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: If you say it wrong, your eyeballs will get
scratched out.
Audience: flow about you write these out?
Ross: Huh?
Audience: How about you write these out?
Ross: Well, how about you write them down while I'm
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doing it?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Well, aaahhhh.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: What have you been doing?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: All right. Let's take, yeah, let's take 5 minutes.
BREAK
Ross: Now, I'm switching back and forth between
topics to kind of fractionate you a little bit. We will
thoroughly cover each and every one. I can guarantee
and promise you that. I want to start looking at
patterns now. Let's jump to patterns. Okay? I want to
do one of my absolute favorite patterns cause it's so
fun to do over the phone. Who's the brother, Brother
Ben uses this on the phone right off the jump when
he calls. It's the Discovery Channel pattern. How
many people have heard of or seen the Discovery
Channel pattern before? And it's in your notes, is it
not, word for word? It's one of the ones in the notes?
Yeah. It's in one of the handouts, word for word.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Those of you who are at home, you can find the
Discovery Channel pattern in your Secrets of Speed
Seduction Home Study Course Workbook on page
B85. That's B85 I think. We call it the Ideal Attraction
Pattern. Now let me talk to you a little bit about the
structure of the Discovery Channel pattern and how I
thought it up. You know how I thought it up? I saw it
on TV. Ha, Ha. I really did. One of the things I want
to, one of the reasons why I want to do the Discovery
Channel pattern first is because it helps you
understand one of the primary conversational
structures of speed seduction. So, I like to layer
patterns 3 deep. Okay? The first pattern really gets
you into her mind. The second one cements you and
the third one really gets her going. Now the
Discovery Channel pattern works with very common,
typical speed seduction conversational framework.
And that is it quotes something. Now, there are lots
of things you can quote. You can quote a TV show
you saw. And this sounds like the structure of a
normal conversation. flow many times have you ever
talked to a friend about a movie or a TV show you
watched? Anyone ever done that in their entire life?
Audience: Yes
Ross: When I was a little kid, we used to talk about
Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Did you see it hen
the shark was fighting the tiger or whatever the fuck it
was.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Oh yeah. Tigers can kick a shark's ass. Well, it
depends if they're in the water or not. Well, ... Okay.
So you quote a show, a book, you know what else
you can quote? A seminar. I went to this wacky
seminar on men, on how to understand women. It was
so ridiculous. The guy was saying it's very important
for a woman to feel an unbelievable connection. The
way he described it, he talked about, you ever feel
that click right (pause) there, that just makes you feel
totally drawn to this person. And on the one hand,
okay, you get it?
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Okay. Then what you can do, okay, then what
you can do is you can quote what a friend said on the
subject. My, now, my, I told this to my friend and my
friend said, and then you go into another pattern. Or
you just expand on the first one. And now, the final
part is, you, you say, you offer your own opinion.
Offer your own opinion. This is a very powerful
structure cause it lets you stack examples. Plus,
You're offering social proof. ”Well, I saw it on TV and
someone else had to say this about it, so it must be
true.” This is a very powerful structure. Now, I don't
always follow this, but, okay? So, the Discovery
Channel starts out very simply. Let's work on this
together. Okay? If you wanted to quote, talk about
how you, if you wanted to quote something you saw
on TV, what would you start out saying? A new
student. You were going to quote, you were going to
tell me about something you saw on TV, what would
you say to me?
Audience. When I was watching this show on TV last
week, ...
Ross: Right.
Audience: It was about lions and tigers and bears,
and how they rampage on the countryside after being
released from some cohabitual habitat zoo in
Afghanistan, and it was really interesting how they
contrasted the ... Ross: Very good.
Audience: So, something like that.
Ross: Very good. Sounds like we're being released
from our zoo.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Your unconscious is working. I like that. Okay.
So, its simple languaging, guys. This is not rocket
62
science. This is, this is the uranium gun weapon.
We're not showing you an H-bomb here. This is a
simple weapon. Okay? I was watching the most
interesting show on TV and they were saying ... By
the way, this is in your notes, word for word, so, it's in
your notes, the seminar notes, plus it's in the
workbook. So, you don't, "hat I want you to do Is
look and see what each piece is designed to do and
then we'll go through it, word for word. Okay? I want
you to get it. Okay? I was watching the most
interesting show on TV about x and they were saying
... Okay. So, the Discovery Channel pattern is an
interesting pattern because it's actually a pattern that
does a lot. It lets you get some feelings of emotional
safety and comfort and get body sensations. So, it's
getting into 2 doorways. Plus, it uses sexual
metaphor, too. So it's really exaggerating one of those
doorways. So the Discovery Channel pattern is g reat,
I really love this pattern, it's great to pick up the
phone and call, okay? So, it goes something like this.
It goes, and with each little piece, I want to stop and
analyze what each piece is designed to do. Fair
enough?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Can you tell me why I'm stopping to analyze
what each piece does? What is my purpose in doing
that?
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: To fill up time?
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: So you understand what you're doing. This is
so important. I'm the only person in this community
that will say, you need to understand what you're
doing if you want to do it well and you want to do
exquisitely and you want to make up your own stuff.
Okay? Huh?
Audience: Thank you.
Ross: You're welcome. You're welcome. I was
watching the most interesting show on TV on the
Discovery Channel and they were interviewing a man
who makes his living designing rides, attractions for
amusement parks. Okay? So far so good? Now what's
that first thing doing? It's just introducing the topic.
So that first bit of pattern just introduces the topic.
Why is it important to introduce the topic?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: So it makes sense, so it sets the stage and it
sounds like an ordinary, decent, normal conversation.
Right?
Audience: Right.
Ross: You ever see any of these bizarre schizophrenic
shitbums who walk up to you and go, "Helicopter,
pillow pilot, jet plane aspirin"?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And I'll go back and " _____ tweedle dum, Tom
Thumb, and dum de de dum.” You know, I'll do it back
to them, but ... You don't want to sound like you're
talking word _____ here guys. Okay? So the purpose
of the introduction is to make it okay to talk about
this. So are there any of you, any man, who makes his
living designing rides, attractions for amusement
parks? Okay. Now, here comes the first command.
And he said, and he said ... What are we doing? We're
quoting the person they interviewed on the show.
Okay? And he said when you, when you ... Here
comes the first command. Now when you're doing
patterns, it's very useful to do, sketch out the
following things. The first thing you want to sketch
out when you're designing a pattern is what's the
conversational framework? Okay? So what is the
conversational framework? Here we know what it is.
It's quoting a TV show. Okay? What are the
commands that you're going to put there? Write them
out, separately. Number 3 - what's the theme or
themes, okay? The overall theme of the Discovery
Channel pattern is how safety and excitement can be
experienced at the same time. That's the overall theme
of the Discovery Channel pattern. What's the overall
theme or themes? One of the questions I want you to
encourage you to ask yourself is, what are theme or
themes that would really intrigue this woman? What
theme or themes would really intrigue this woman?
Did you all watch the video, the cable show with me
and the actress and the, the guy on meth or
whatever? Did you see that guy? _____ I'm
something _____ . You all see it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Now what was the theme that intrigued that
actress?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: I know. What I said to her is, "Boy, I think
acting is interesting, too. The really interesting thing
about acting is you want to get to the place where
you're no longer giving a performance. You want to
get to the place where you step aside consciously
and you let that performance flow through you. And
really, that's about a moment of surrender.” So what
was the real theme? Moments of surrender, stepping
aside consciously. That was the real theme. Okay? So,
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the theme of the Discovery Channel pattern is safety
and excitement at the same time. Why is that an
important theme? Cause, isn't that what women want?
I mean, they want to be excited and thrilled, but at the
same time they want to know they're not going to get
hurt. Right?
Audience: Right
Ross: Yes?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I mean, if you can really deliver that to a
woman, that's a big deal. Safety is a big thing. They
don't want to be hurt. Who does? Well, if wear my
special outfit, I want to be hurt, but
Audience: Laughter. What is that, Ross?
Ross: Oh, never mind.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Oooh, oooh, oooh, only Kim gets to put it oil
me. No, no, just teasing. No, those days are gone my
friend, we'd thought they'd never end, but they did,
and now I am, anyway.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Okay. So, it goes, and were there any of you. a
guy who makes his living designing rides, attractions
for amusement parks, and he said when you stop and
imagination your ideal attraction. So that's the first
command. The first command is stop and imagine
your ideal attraction. Now let's have a look at this for
a minute. When you give the person the command to
stop, what are you commanding them to do?
Audience: Stop.
Ross: Stop every other train of thought and pay
attention only to what you're about to hear. Stop
pause and imagine your ideal attraction. Now, notice
this. When I say to her, "Imagine your ideal
attraction" am I saying "Imagine your ideal
amusement park ride?" Or am I saying "Imagine your
ideal attraction to a man?" Which am I saying?
Audience: Man, responses from audience.
Ross: It's ambiguous. It's both. Here's a general,
powerful rule of persuasion. If you want to be
hypnotic, be ambiguous and vague. If you want to
convey intellectual understanding, be specific. Now,
is the purpose of speed seduction to convey an
intellectual understanding to the woman of the topic
you're discussing?
Audience: No.
Ross: What's the purpose of your speed seduction?
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: To create a state. Okay? The purpose of your
communication is not to convey an intellectual
understanding. Believe me, I used to be great at
conveying intellectual understandings. I mean, I
could get a woman to understand U. S. nuclear arms
policy In southwest Asia. By the end of the evening,
she'd really understand it. She'd also understand that
she'd have to wash her hair.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay?
Audience: laughter
Ross: Okay, well it's true. I don't want, no, I'm not
saying, listen to me please. I'm not saying you
shouldn't appreciate a woman's intellect. I love
intelligent women. I'm not bullshitting here. The
smarter the woman, the sexier I find her. Truly. I love
bright women, they're challenging, they're interesting,
they're fascinating, they're better in bed. I love bright
women. All I'm saying is the purpose of my
communicating is not to give an intellectual
understanding. Now it may appear that way. On the
surface of the communication it may appear that I'm
teaching her something or helping her learn a skill, but
in reality what's going on here underneath is I'm
installing a series of states and linking them to me.
Okay? Do you get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: All right. So, when he said "Stop and imagine
your ideal attraction" he said there were three
elements involved. Okay? He said when you, okay,
look up here. He said when you take this ride, look
where I'm pointing. Okay? It's very subtle. I don't say
"When you take this ride ...” Can we all do this' Keep,
put our hands, put your hands here. Okay? Slide your
hands down to your belly button and point your
fingers, okay? So you want to keep your hands real
close to your body. Anything further than this they're
going. So, when you take this ride, you enter a state
of high arousal. Now, what's the command? There are
two commands there.
Audience: It's take this ride.
Ross: Take this ride.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: The sexual metaphor - enter a state of high
arousal. Now, let's look at this. I want you to
understand how each step drives the next step even
64
further. What? You have a comment?
Audience: Question from audience.
Ross: Okay. Enter a state of high arousal. So, I'm
giving them two commands. Now, what doorway are
we getting into here? Do we, let's do the four
doorways again. There's the, the doorways are
emotional connections, getting her visualizing, body
sensations, and asking her questions that make her
access herself in the deepest core of her identity to
answer. What doorway are we getting into?
Audience: Body sensations, sensory sensations.
Ross: Body sensations. That's right. Who didn't get
that? If you didn't get it, please tell me. I want you to
tell me if you're not getting, cause that means I can be
a better teacher by learning from you how to make
sure you get it. If you're not getting it, you're not
helping by staying silent. Okay? Okay. When you
take this ride, you enter a state of high arousal. And
then you say this. You say, "You know first long slow
vertical climb on the roller coaster? And you can feel
the adrenaline pounding through your body. The
closer you get to the peak, the faster your heart beats.
Your breathing starts to come faster and faster and as
you're reaching the peak and you begin to go down,
You're screaming with excitement.” Okay, now. What
am I doing here? I'm giving a description. I give a
description. Why do I give a description? Because if
she's in rapport with me and following along as I
describe that state ... Now, let's, let's help, let's have
you make it up. When you're on the roller coaster and
you're going up that climb, what do you feel in your
body as you're going up, hearing clack, clack, clack?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Describe it.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Tingling in your stomach. What else?
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross. - Shuddering with anticipation. that's right.
What else?
Audience: Growing excitement.
Ross: Growing excitement. So, okay. Exactly. How do I
come up with this? I say, "Granted, I've been there.
What does it feel like?"
Audience: What will it be like.
Ross: What will it be like? Okay? Give a description.
The description is x, y, z, a, b, c, whatever. And then I
add, threw in some more sexual metaphors. Then as
you reach the peak, the peak, that could mean what?
The peak of excitement before an orgasm. You're
screaming with excitement as you go down. Okay? Go
down? You get it? I swear, I've had women stop and
say, "It sounds just like sex or it sounds like orgasm.”
I go, "Wow, I never thought of that before.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: This is a great pattern. I challenge you, here's
what you do. To practice your first speed seduction,
practice, call some woman you know, go "How you
doing? You know, I was, do you watch TV? I was
watching the most interesting show on the Discovery
Channel" and do the Discovery Channel pattern on
her. All right? Now, I'm not done here. Now, I'm not
done here. I want, see, I'm taking this apart piece by
piece. I encourage you to go back to the patterns in
your, in your notes and in t he workbook and them
apart piece by piece and go "What is each piece
designed to do?" Design will tell you more than
anything else. In fact, we might hold a contest where
the winner gets a, some kind of prize of some sort
products or cash - where we have you design a
disgusting pattern, a pattern to make a woman feel
sick to her stomach and nauseated by you. Okay?
Just to show you that it's not the content but the
form. Okay? Like "I was watching this show on the
medical channel ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "And they were talking about genital warts.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "And the guy was talking about how incredibly
painful it is when you get a terrible rash down there.
You ever wake up with a burning sensation ...
Audience: laughter
Ross: And the mo re ...” You understand what I'm
saying? I can make them up like that, too. But notice,
the structure is the same. The content is different, but
the structure is ...
Audience: The same.
Ross: Right. I want you guys to get used, listen to
this. This is very important. Now I'm rolling here. We
live in a society that's totally focused on content.
What is it that you're saying? People are not trained
to look at structure and form, unless they're body
workers. Body workers get this stuff a lot faster.
They're trained to look at structure. Okay? What I'm
going to tell you is structure and form in our
communication is intensely powerful. There are
certain structures that are very powerful. If you learn
65
to communicate through those powerful structures,
you'll have an entirely different experience of life.
Yes? Phoenix. Can we get him on the mike? Yes.
Met-a-man.
Phoenix: Yes, one of the things that I've noticed cause
I'm really lazy at making patterns is there's like two
levels to the patterns that Ross has. There 's what I
call the met-a-level, which you have the introduction,
the metaphors, bring up to the close. And then inside
of that there's actually the linguistic or hypnotic
trance patterns that are being run. And for sonic
people they can actually take and g o from "I want to
start at a, I want to end up at c, and the You can
actually break it down even more to what sort of
trance words am I using, or trance phases. If you want
to get technical you can say, well a nominalization
there, I need to have an ambiguity there. You can start
to really get constructive down to the basic details
starting with the overall structures and getting more
specific. Ross: Yes. Once you understand structure it
becomes like designing a piece of art. I love designing
patterns cause they're like pieces of art. They're like,
do you know what they are? You know what you're
doing as a speed Seducer? You're creating mental
origami. Does everyone know what origami is? Does
anyone ...
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Origami is like when you do Japanese paper
folding. You take paper and You fold it into beautiful
ornate shapes. What we are doing is we' re creating
thought origami for women. We're taking their
thoughts and we're helping them to fold them into
shapes, beautiful shapes and configurations they've
never experienced before. We are artists with thought.
Audience: I call it experiential
Ross: You've been drinking too much of your own
tea.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: But anyway. So. Okay. So. And he said the
second element is there has to be a sense of overall,
there has to be a sense of overall safety. You have to
know that this attraction is so well designed, you're
not going to get hurt. And because you feel totally
safe, you feel that much more free to indulge and let
go with all of those exciting feelings. So what is the
second module designed to do? The sexual, the
second module is designed to create feelings of what?
Audience: Comfort and safety.
Ross: How do I do that? I talk about the metaphor of
the roller coaster. Well, and this is true, it is
absolutely true. You have to know deep down. I
remember riding a roller coaster, being, looking at
people whizzing by, going "I'm scared to go up there.”
I thought, "Wait a minute. It's got to be safe or their
insurance company wouldn't even let them, let people
get up there.” So I feel okay. Now, that's a bizarre kind
of logic but it makes sense. I figure no one's really
going to get hurt on that and their insurance company
would close them down. Wouldn't let them have it.
Yes.
Audience: _____ doesn't work at carnivals and state
fairs where the rides are put together by the
pot-smoking guys.
Ross: Okay. That's different.
Audience: Ross.
Ross: Yes.
Audience: Curiosity. I noticed that you put like a
sexual metaphor before the safety part.
Ross: Just cause it fit in to, that was the way the,
you're telling about the elements, that's just the way it
fit in. I really did see this on TV. Okay? So there has
to be a sense of overall safety. You have to know this
attraction is so well designed you feel totally safe. So
what's the command?
Ross & Audience: Feel totally safe.
Ross: And because you feel totally safe, you feel
completely free to indulge in all those exciting
feelings. So the other command is feel completely free
to indulge in all these exciting feelings. Do you get it?
Audience: Got it. Ross: Now. Finally. And he said the
final element is, there's got to be a sense of overall
fascination. This ride has to have so many different
twists and turns that as soon as you get off, you want
to climb right back on, you want to take this ride
multiple times.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? So, as soon as you get off, what is that a
command for her to do? Have an orgasm. As soon as
you get off, you want to climb right back on. What is
she going to be visualizing in her head?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: So now, what doorway ...
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: What doorway, okay. So what doorway are we
starting to get into here?
66
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Visual. Body sensations and visual. When you
get off you want to climb right back on. By the way,
when you say get off, she may be visualizing herself
getting off, too. Okay? You want to climb right back
on. You want to take this ride multiple times. And she
may be actually then visualizing herself on you
multiple times. Okay?
Audience: Do you sell Biagra?
Ross: Do I sell Biagra? No. What's the difference
between a Jewish woman and an Italian woman? An
Italian woman says to her husband buy viagra. A
Jewis h woman says buy Fizer stock.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Was that a no, no? You're looking at me with a
bad look. Okay? Now, watch this. Now I'm going to
show you how to transition from this into the
incredible connection pattern. Okay? I'm going to give
you a phrase, I'm going to tell you four words that \A,
III get you ]aid more than any four words in the
English language. Nah, you don't want to know.
Never mind, well let's move on.
Audience: Laughter. Ross: I have a gun. No, that's
not it.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: I have some cocaine. No. I drive a Porsche. No.
It's just like when ... It's just like when. What does that
phrase let you do? It's lets you transition any topic to
any other topic. I'm talking about elephant wards. .
Okay? It's just like when you see a beautiful sunset
and you know the sunset has a few imperfections.
And yet, you don't see that. They fade away and all
you see the beauty in front of you, overwhelming
you. Okay? It's just like when. Well, in this case, I
said, and as I thought about it, I thought, isn't that the
ideal description of the perfect connection between
two people. Okay? Isn't that the ideal description of
the perfect connection between two people? I mean,
you know that click right there that just makes you
feel totally drawn to this person. And on the one
hand, you feet totally safe, totally comfortable, like
you were meant to know this person, like you've
known this person forever. And on the other hand,
you feel all those exciting feelings of really wanting to
be with him. Like you've ever been waiting for
someone to pick you up for an evening and all of a
sudden you hear, knock, knock, knock, and your heart
leaps. You feel the adrenaline rushing through your
body. The closer you get to that door, the more
excited you are. Then when you open your door, it's
like what you want the most is right, right now, right
in front of you.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Can you feel that? It would be an amazing thing
to experience? I mean, I think sometimes when you
feel that connection, you can even stop and imagine a
time in the future, say years from now, still feeling this
amazing connection. And looking back on this
moment as having been the start of it. Now, let's talk
about a piece of the incredible connection. Did you
hear the incredible connection pattern there? Let me
talk about a little piece of this called time distortion or
pseudo-orientation in time is actually the proper name
for it. Okay? I'm going to give you a couple of
different ways to get into the incredible connection
pattern. Cause the way I first taught it, it wasn't
particularly conversational. Okay? So, I want to tell
you, show you some really good conversational ways
to get into it. Fair?
Audience: Yes
Ross: If I can give you three different ways to get to
the incredible connection pattern, would you be
happy?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Would you think "Ross, for the first day, I'm
really getting my money's worth?"
Audience: Yes
Ross: Don't You already feel that already?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Good. I'll see you later. No.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Oh, let me tell a joke. One way to get to the
incredible connection pattern is to start out with the
Discovery Channel pattern. And they you go into
saying "It's just, you know, as I thought of that, I
thought that it's just like when you feel that incredible
connection with someone.” And then you begin to do
that pattern. You get it? Now, there's a part of the
incredible connection pattern when you say,
"Sometimes the point where you can just stop and
imagine a time in the future, say years from now, still
feeling this incredible connection and looking back on
this moment as having been the start of it.” I want to
look at that languaging for a minute and show you
what you're doing. Okay? Sometimes to point where,
the point where is a weasel phrase. To the point
where means something's happening and it's
happening so strongly that you're about to have an
67
even better experience, or more intense experience.
Okay? To the point where you can just stop, what
was the comment you made? You said something to
yourself.
Audience: I did?
Ross: You went ...
Audience: I didn't know I did.
Ross: Oh, yeah. You did.
Audience: I didn't think you _____ for it, but I ...
Ross: You did. Sometimes the point where you begin
to talk to yourself unconsciously on the inside.
Sometimes the point where you can stop and imagine
a time in the future, say years from now, what are you
telling her to do? You're telling her to go into a deep
trance, imagine being in the future, imagine a time in
the future, say years from now, still feeling this
incredible connection, and looking back on today as
having been the start of it. You're saying, "Take the
present, make the present the past, and make the
future the present.” It's an incredible double
distortion. You're not just saying "Imagine a time in
the future still feeling this connection.” That would be
one distortion. You're saying "Imagine a time in the
future still feeling this connection and looking back
on this moment as having been the start of it.” So
you're saying go into the future, look back on today
as being already the past. You understand? You're
whamming her with a double distortion and her mind
cannot resist it. Do you get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So now you're not just some stranger who she's
suddenly feeling connected to, you're a stranger who
she's feeling the start of a connection she may feel for
years. So, you're getting her to attach all that meaning
to ...
Audience: Me.
Ross: Bingo. Now, here's two more ways to bring up
the incredible connection pattern. Okay? You want to
hear it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I don't want to belabor the incredible
connection pattern, but I do want to belabor the ways
of bringing it up. Fair enough?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Okay. Now I want to teach you an important
principle in pattern construction. You don't use it all
the time, but it is important and it is powerful. Can I
get some more water? Okay. Good. It's what I call the
contrast principal. If you contrast two things, one
with the other, it makes it easier for the person to
follow along. Okay? How would you like to know a
way to use the incredible connection pattern on a
woman who's highly visual? Wouldn't that be great?
Audience: Uh huh.
Ross: Okay. Here's what you say. It goes something
like this. This goes something like this. Pay attention
up here and then we'll go through it word for word.
Pay attention up here. Ricola, Ricola. There's no such
thing as anchors.
Yates: This is the end of Side 6 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
68
Tape 4 – Side 1
Yates: This is Side 7 of the Basic Speed Seduction
Seminar by Ross Jeffries
Ross: Ricola, Ricola. There's no such thing as
anchors. I have a great memory for cartoon theme
songs. For those of you at home, I'm soothing my
throat ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You're getting Kim's impotence pattern in
stereo. I'm going to sic her on you. He said short
women are dumb.
Audience: Laughter. Liar, liar.
Ross: Don't mess with her. Looking versus truly
seeing. Here's what, I did this with a highly visual
woman. She was going, I said, "Have you ever
thought of the difference between looking and truly
seeing?" Okay? So the pattern is, the general
structure of a pattern where you're comparing one
thing with another, here's the form. The form is have
you ever thought of the difference between x and y,
where x and y are two things that are similar but
somewhat different? Okay? It's, now, notice, you're
not saying have you ever thought about the
difference between fire and ice? Have you ever
thought about the diffe rence between love and hate?
Cause they're so exaggerated differences, it doesn't
require much focus. You want to take x and y; _____
got to be two things that are similar yet different. Do
you understand me?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Like hope and expectation. Okay? You ever
thought about the difference between the two? Now
one of the ways I came up with this is by watching
Richard Bandler. One of Bandler's major algorithms for
coming up with NLP patterns is to say how does a
person do something, what's something that similar to
that but different and how can we use that difference
in a pattern for positive, quick, rapid change? That's
his algorithin. Remember I said that to you Yates in,
in, in ...
Yates: Austin
Ross: Austin? And then, a couple of days later,
Bandler said that's how I do it? Remember? He made it
explicit for the first time? But I told you I figured that
Out like 5 years ago. If you know what to watch for,
you'll pick up people's thought processes.
That really gives you power. I'm telling you how I
think about things so you can go and construct it for
yourself Okay. You ever thought about the difference
between looking and truly seeing? Okay. And then
you want to describe ... That's step one. Step two is
describe x briefly. Why do you only want describe x
briefly?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Cause y's the one you really want to put her
into. Do you want to put her into x or y?
Audience: Y
Ross: Y. Okay. And then the next step is more
extensively describe why. Okay. So let me do it for
you. You ever thought about the difference between
looking and truly seeing? Looking, I think, is the
physiological process of light reflecting off an object,
entering your eye and the image being sent to your
brain where it's interpreted. It's the physiological
process of vision, but seeing, truly seeing, is when
you look past the surface and see something deeper,
see something that resonates deep inside, see
something that touches deep inside, something that
allows you to feel an unbelievable connection.
Sometimes to the point where you can just stop and
imagine a time in the future, say years from now, still
feeling this incredible connection and looking back on
this moment as being the start of it, cause you're
being touched in that place I call the secret core, that
place inside where anything can be possible, where
you keep your most exciting memories, when you
ponder fantasies and daydreams. Do you get it?
Thank you. So you start out by talking about looking
and then you talk about seeing, truly seein g is when
you, here's the command. Look past the surface and
see something much deeper. What are you
commanding her to do?
Audience: Focus inside
Ross: No. That's part of it, but listen. Look past the
surface of what? I didn't say look past the surface of
someone's appearance and see something deeper in
their personality. I was vague. But that's what they're
going to do. Look past the surface and see something
much deeper, something that resonates and touches
you deep inside where you truly are. Sometimes to the
point where you can just stop and imagine a time in
the future, still feeling that incredible connection. You
get it? I'm really giving Audience: Response from
audience.
Ross: Oh, I missed your pants. Good. I got that.
69
Audience: So the friends, the movie, the hours, the
big experience and all _____
Ross: Right. Okay? So we're going stack them. The
first example I used is if you've ever been out with
friends who you feel really comfortable with. Why am
I using that one? Cause I want her to feel really
comfortable with me. And that's what we call, how
many people have ever had that experience of being
out with friends you really like and time flies? flow
many people never had that experience? How many
people had the opposite experience? You're with
someone you can't stand, the evening is dragging?
Audience: laughter
Ross: What's that?
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: By the way, you notice how fast this day has
gone by?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Subjectively to me it seems about two hours.
I'm not kidding. Okay?
Audience: Which one, you wouldn't want to tell the
negative one, are you?
Ross: No, no, positive ones. Although where would it
be useful to tell negative examples?
Audience: Getting rid of somebody.
Ross: To get rid of someone or to anchor it to
someone else.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Like, let's say she has a boyfriend. She has a
boy friend Ralph. You go Ralph, huh? Tell me a little
bit more about Ralph. Okay? So Ralph's a doctor, um
um. And how long have you been seeing Ralph? Oh,
so this becomes her, your, whenever you do this
she'll think of Ralph and go "You know. You ever
been out with someone and you start to notice
imperfections in them?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's like the evening dragster. Boy, it grates on
you and you look at them, aaahhh, what did I ever see
in that person? You start to doubt your decisions
about that person. You understand?
Audience: yes
Ross: So you can stack them. But you just very
subtly make a gesture. ”Oh really. Ralph, Ralph.” You
can be more subtle like, "Oh Ralph, Ralph. So tell me
about Ralph ... ... Name a guy that you ... Dave. Really
Dave. Tell me more about Dave. Uh huh, uh huh. And
what does Dave do for a living again? And Dave does
what?" Then
Audience: Works
Ross: Yeah. Then like an hour later in the
conversation you go, "You know, you ever been with
someone and you start to really doubt them? It's like
every time you hear the person's voice you go,
uuhhb, he bugs me or you start to notice things he
does that really drive you up a wall?" You get it?
Audience: Like , laughter.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, that's fine. And I want to tell you,
she's going to start noticing her feeling for him really
changing. Unless he's meeting her core values, which
we'll talk about later in the weekend. Then nothing's
going to work. All right. So three examples. The first
example is being with friends. The second example is
peak experience. Notice we're getting progressively
more intense with these. And the final one is when
you meet someone and it just seems like you feel like
you've known this person forever. You stack three
deep and they're what we call universal experiences.
Audience: What was the second one? Ross: The
second one is peak experiences like climbing a
mountain or and how inside you slow time down and
stop the world and let yourself go with this. Does that
mean let yourself go with this connection she's
experiencing with me? Yes it does. What am I
commanding her to do? I'm telling her inside you slow
time down, stop the world and let yourself go with it.
I'm telling her go into a very profound hypnotic trance
and let yourself go completely with me when you
experience it. You get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Even though it seems like I'm describing a peak
experience, the peak experience I'm making her feel is
the one s he's having with me right here, right now.
Could that be useful?
Audience: Yes
Ross: You bet.
Audience: You got a third?
Ross: A third one? Very good. You're keeping me on
my toes. The third one is the experience of meeting
someone and you feel, even though you've only
known them by the clock a short while, you feel like
you've known this person forever, like you were
meant to know them. Okay. That's when you go into
70
the incredible connection pattern. Go it? Now let me
show you something else about themes. Yes Sir.
Audience: You said the first example would be the
experience of one of her friends or of yours?
Ross: You go out with a group of friends. Yeah. ”You
ever been out with a group of friends Debbie and
even though it seems like only an hour's gone b y, you
look at your watch and go, oh my god, five hours has
gone by? Time has just shot by?"
Audience: Right
Ross: "But within that space of an evening you can
be waiting in line at the movie for only ten minutes,
but that ten minutes seems like hours.”
Audience: I see.
Ross: Yeah. Okay? You want to give universal
experiences. So you don't want to say like, "You ever
been on the space shuttle ...” Audience: Laughter
Ross: "and you're re -entering earth's atmosphere ... or
"You know when you're kidnapped by aliens and
they're about to insert that anal probe ...”
Audience: Laughter. It's just like that.
Ross: "And it becomes 80 foot satellite dish and your
friends Kyle and Stan and Kenny don't believe you?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You guys, you're being dildos.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You guys are going a long way just to scare me.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: I can't do it. It'll really rip my throat to pieces if I
do that. Okay? Now watch this. So you've got her
feeling totally time distorted, she's slowed time down
and stopped the world and is indulging herself with
you. Now watch this. What have we been talking
about? Time, right? Now here's a real tricky one. Time,
now watch this, I'm going to say "The other thing, "
watch how I transition this sexual metaphor and body
feeling. You ready? I'll say, "The other thing, the
other thing, " notice the transition? "that I think
teaches you a lot about people, " Now notice before
we set up two themes. What teaches you a lot about
people and time? Now I'm going back to the overall
theme of what teaches you a lot about people. It's not
just people's sense of time but their sense of personal
timing. I'm using two things that sound alike but may
not have any relation at all. Okay? The other thing
that t eaches you so much about people is not just
their sense of time but their sense of timing. Their
personal rhythm. Now listen, look up here. Look up
here, don't write notes. Oh, you can write notes, it's
not important. I'm sorry, forgive. Merci beaucoup.
(French).
Audience: You have the music but not the words.
Ross: That's fine. I only need to fake the music.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Well, if you want to speak French you must
speak with your lips out here.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: That's one of the nicest compliments, that's an
excellent compliment to say I have the music and not
the words is a profound compliment and I thank you
for that. Everything in French sounds lascivious.
Can you say my hovercraft is broken in French? I'm
serious.
Audience: You what?
Ross: My hovercraft is broken.
Audience: Hovercraft is this boat ...
Ross: is broken. Yeah.
Audience: Au France?
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: spoken in French
Ross: hover craft
Audience: Laughter
Ross: How do you say I will not buy this record. It is
scratched? I'm serious.
Audience: Really?
Ross: Yeah
Audience: spoken in French
Ross: speaking in French
Audience: laughter
Ross: And German's more guttural in the throat. We
were with Germans yesterday, Austrian girls, and they
wouldn't sit down. I said, "Zit in ze zeat" and they
both sat.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I said you have to give Germans orders, true?
You were going, "Sit down, sit down, come one, stay
with us, " you were pawing their hands. I went, "Zit in
71
ze zeat.” Okay. The other thing I think that teaches
you is not just people's sense of time but their sense
of personal timing. Their sense of personal rhythm.
Okay? That's the transition. Are we out of tape?
?: No
Ross: We all right?
?: We're excellent.
Ross: Are we numbering these so we know where
we're at?
?- You're doing wonderful.
Ross: Good. Okay. Their sense of personal rhythm.
Listen to me, listen. There are all sorts of rhythms a
person has. There's the rhythm of their breathing,
there's they rhythm at which they speak, and then
there's the very personal, very private, very intimate
rhythm of in and out, back and forth, between being
outside in the world talking to people and being
inside in that place of fantasy, that place of daydream,
that place where you keep your most exciting
memories. I think you learn so much about people by
learning, not just how they enter that place, but when
they do, how they strike a balance between
anticipation and compulsion.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Now what pattern am I going into?
Audience: The blowjob.
Ross: The blow job pattern. Okay? For those of you
who don't know the blowjob pattern, we're going to
do it tomorrow. So I want you to look at the overall,
forget the content, look at overall thematic structure.
I'm belaboring this because I want you to understand.
I could whip through it and have you memorize it, but
it wouldn't be the same. So, so the first part is the
overall, overarching theme that surrounds everything
is what teaches you about people or what enables
you to learn some, what, what allows you to learn so
much about people. Here's how you bring it up.
You're over, you're having casual conversation over
coffee. You go "Do you enjoy learning about
people?" What is she going to say? "Fuck no, I'm a
dillweed. Take me home.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: "No, I enjoy making it an
exploratory of my nostril up to the third digit. That's
what I like to do. Of course she's going to say ...
okay? So the, so that's the metatheme. But the first
theme is people's sense of time. How time shifts and
changes o f people. And by the way, to the extent that
you, each and all of you, each of both of you, become
insatiably curious about human process, to the extent
that you genuinely are curious about this kind of
stuff, is the extent that your patterning will become
much more powerful. Because instead of being words
you're just reciting, it has meaning for you. I want to
encourage each and every one of you to become
connoisseurs of human subjective internal experience.
There's nothing more interesting to me than how
human beings do things. When I had people up here
and some of them weren't having the, as quick or as
strong as response getting rid of the bad feelings, did
I get angry at them? Did I?
Audience: No
Ross: Did I display any frustration?
Audience: No
Ross: Not really. I got curious. I had fun, I'm going to
have, what was my attitude? I'm going to really fuck
this person up. Right?
Audience: Right.
Ross: Cause I'm fascinated how people do things. I
really want to know. Even when they annoy me. Like I
remember talking to this girl who was an unbelievable
flake. I hate flakes. One thing, if you ever want to do
business with me, do exactly what you say you're
going to do, as you say you're going to do it. Cause
otherwise I won't be able to, I can't be bothered
having to track you. It distracts from my focus having
to see, "Well he hasn't done it yet. When is he going
to do it? And you're out. And you don't get any
chances. You're just out.” Do what you say you're
going to do or tell me in advance why you won't be
able to. Yes.
Audience: Is the looking versus really seeing, is that
part of this overarching thing?
Ross: No, that's different, that's a different way of
introducing. Okay? So listen. No, that's about
differences. The theme is the difference between x and
y. But you could say, "You know, I think you learn so
much by looking at the difference between one thing
and the other" if you wanted to bring that in. Okay?
Good. But you're thinking in terms of themes. Themes
are important. Themes will allow you to string
patterns together to the extent that you begin to think
in themes and really get interested in this. All right.
Really get interested. I think, don't you think its
fascinating how people work? I mean, there are five
billion of them surrounding you. Yo u may as well
figure out what's going on between their ears.
Particularly if you want to get into their wallets or
between their legs.
72
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Unless you carry a lot of firepower, and then
you can do what you want, but then you, there are
terrible consequences then. So anyway. Okay. So, we
talk about people's sense of time. That's one theme.
We, we describe all that. We give three examples -
okay - all relating here and then we go to the next
theme, which is people's sense of timing. Their
personal rhythm. Now, how do we get there? We say,
"The other thing I think that teaches you so much ...”
so we're back here again. We temporarily revisit here.
Then say "The other things that teaches you so much
is people's sense of personal timing, their personal
rhythm.” And then what are you going to do? You're
going to give a description. I gave three examples.
There's all sorts of rhythms. There's the rhythm with
which you breathe, there's the rhythm with which you
listen and then there's the very personal, very private,
very intimate rhythm of in and out -I lean out a little
bit - back and forth. Now what is she going to be
thinking when you're talking this way?
Audience: Sex
Ross: Fucking, okay? But when you switch over, see
I'm fucking, I'm kind of intruding a little bit, it's the
equivalent of putting your hand on her leg, no I don't
want to even do, even go that way with you, Okay?
See how I stopped myself so quickly? It's equivalent
of putting your hand on her leg right there and sliding
it further and further up. And suddenly you take it
away instead of going for the gold. Okay? So, it's the,
then there's that very personal, very private, very
intimate rhythm of in and out, back and forth, between
being outside in the world talking to people and she's
going to go "Oh" but the thought's still going to be
there. Okay? And being inside in that place of fantasy
and daydream. Okay? And then you go back to this
theme. ”I think you learn so much about people by
how they enter that place of fantasy and daydream
and how they strike a balance between compulsion
and anticipation.” Okay? So we keep going back to
this theme. And then we go into the blowjob pattern.
Do we all know the blowjob pattern?
Audience: yes
Ross: Some don't know it. Yes sir? Question ?
Audience: Like when you're using this in a
conversation ...
Ross: Yeah
Audience: When you're like plowing away with
patterns ...
Ross: Yeah
Audience: What need is there for small talk, like give
her a breather or just ...
Ross: No, don't give her a breather, keep going. Okay.
Come up here. Come up here. What's your name?
Audience: Matt
Ross: Matt what?
Matt: Gives last name.
Ross: Okay. So you and I are in a boxing match, okay.
I'm pounding you in the face, pounding you in the
body, pounding, pounding. I'm going to go, "Oh, I'll
hit him a few more times the next round. I'm going to
go sit in my comer.” No, you don't do that. As long as
you've got the opening you keep pounding and
pounding. Now they may interrupt you. If the
interrupt it's okay. They're only going to correct you.
It's like you've got your hand here, they go "No,
there.” So just go ahead and sit down. Feed their
words back to them. Do you get this structure?
Advanced students, do you see the structure clearly?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Yes. And you want to keep coming, the reason
I like this structure is it allows me to keep going back
and saying, "The other thing where you learn so
much is not just their sense of rhythm, the other thing
that teaches you so much is when they enter that
place of fantasy how they strike a balance between
compulsion and anticipation.” Now, or those of you
who haven't heard the blowjob pattern, here it comes.
Okay? "Compulsion is when you just find yourself
doing something without ever thinking about it, like,
you ever just suddenly find yourself reaching for the
refrigerator.” Now what am I doing? Compulsive
version anticipation. That's an example of comparing
two things that are similar but different. You
understand'! I'm using that. ”And you ever just find
yourself reaching for the refrigerator and before you
know it, you're looking in the refrigerator going, 'What
the hell and I doing? I'm not even hungry. Has
anyone ever done that?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Universal experience. Okay? "But anticipation
is when your mind anticipates a pleasure before it
already arrives.” Not how many examples am I going
to stack?
Audience: Three
Ross: Right. Why three? It just seems to work.
73
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Huh? More getting power.
Audience: Would that be like authority shift where
the, where the last _____ ?
Ross: Yeah. I'm getting, I'm going to get them
progressive so it's not anything to do with authority,
but I'm getting them more intimate. So I say like, for
example, "You ever come home from a really hot day,
a rotten hard day at work, and before you even get
home, you can already imagine dropping every stitch
of clothing and climbing into that steaming hot bath
or shower. Which do you like best?" Whatever she
uses. ”And before you even get home, you can
imagine that moment when you're standing there, the
steam is hitting your body, and then you can imagine
that heat working its way through every part of your
body.” Now what are you telling her to do? Feel the
heat ...
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: "And then there comes that actual moment of
sliding in where you surrender to it completely. Or do
you like chocolate? Oh yes, I love chocolate. Did you
ever have a piece of chocolate and rather than eat it
right away, you save it for yourself, you leave it at
home and it's your reward for a hard day's work. And
there comes that moment when you unwrap it and its
like, you slowly undress this treat, and you hold it
right in front of lips and you stop and you tease
yourself with it. You imagine that first soft brush of
the lips against it. That moment when you tease it,
just touch the slightest tip of it against your tongue.
Just that first molecule of sweetness and then it melts
in your mouth and its like an explosion of pleasure in
your mouth.” And often I'll go "It's like an orgasm.”
They'll go, "Yes.” I'll go "You ever been really
attracted to someone and you know there's an
incredible attraction here. But you haven't acted on it
yet. And then there comes that moment when you
stop talking and you just look at each other. And you
know something's about to happen. And you begin to
anticipate that first wonderful electric kiss. You know
that first soft brush of lips; it's so soft you don't even
know if you're kissing yet. And then, it's like this jolt
of pleasure and every bit of pleasure that you, that
you'll experience when that relationship is enfolded
into that first one amazing kiss. So I think what can
happen is, the conscious mind can go down into the
unconscious and come back up with all these
thoughts and id eas and fantasies , and being very
intellectual I used to think that my most important
thoughts come from above me. But Debbie, now I
know so many amazing thoughts come from below
me.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Cause you're coming from that much more
primitive place inside your mind.” Now, what does
that open her up to? What did you just finish talking
about?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Primitive places inside her mind, fantasies,
daydreams. What could you then move on to talk
about? You could say, "You know the thing about
fantasies is sometimes a person is having fantasies
and you don't even know it till all of a sudden they
blurt something out unexpected. Like, about two
weeks ago I was sitting with my neighbor, right in this
place right here, and she looks at me and she says,
'Can you imagine me going down on you all night
long, exactly the way you like it'! And you were so
hot, so turned on you knew you had to have me right
here, right now?" See how you're building on it? And
it all fits into a theme. Now you're transitioning to the
theme of fantasies, cause that's what you just finished
talking about. Do you see how all the themes can
work together and lock in? So, if you want to do
patterns in a sequence, think of the themes. And this
is a good one. What teaches you about people, what
allows you ... ? I think you really learn so much about
people by learning how they x. And the other thing
that's interesting about x when you learn so much, is
how they y. And notice how they y but how they z.
Cause when they z. You ever think about the
difference z and a? You get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Now look at the understanding you have now
and the understanding you had this morning. Think
about the difference you had this morning, the
understanding you had this morning and the
understanding you have right now. I wonder if the
understanding you have right now compared to the
understanding you're going to have tomorrow is like
the understanding you had this morning compared to
the understanding you have now. Do you
understand?
Audience: Right
Ross: Now?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Want to take a break? Five minute pee break.
Five minutes.
74
BREAK
Ross: People, realize I just gave you a pattern
sequence you can call any woman you know on the
phone and do. Any one of those combinations I
showed you, you can call her on the phone and talk.
It's the perfect sequence for a woman you already
know. If You already know her, "Oh, I saw this show
on the Discovery Channel" or "Have you ever
thought about the difference between looking and
really seeing" or "You know, I was thinking about.”
Here's how you bring up the time one. You want to do
this on the phone? "I was reading this book on
quantum physics and they were saying how time is
not just a linear thing but time exists simultaneously,
that the past, present and future all exist right now. It
got me thinking how you can learn so much about
people by learning how their sense of time
subjectively shifts and changes.” Then go right into
the pattern. I've just given you things you can use on
the phone tonight to test.
Audience: Ross,
Ross: What?
Audience: What do you want to do more at first
Ross: You can do this on ...
Audience: _____
Ross: Oh no you don't. Here's how you close on the
phone. So she's panting heavy, breathing heavy, go
"Well, I've got to go. The Three Stooges are on.”
Audience: laughter
Ross: I'm serious. Go, "I'm sorry. South Park is on.”
Yes.
Audience: Using the crazy _____ method where you
just dial up numbers randomly, can you use this
method for a person you don't know?
Ross: Yes, yes.
Audience: It looks like it's a little hot, too, but you
never know.
Ross: What?
Audience: You were saying
Ross: I said you can do it in person but I'm saying, I'm
saying, thank you, I'm saying if you want to test it
tonight and you know someone's number, pick up the
phone and call them. Call a voice mail message
service.
Audience: Question from audience.
Ross: You can do that, too. But all I'm saying is I've
given you a sequence where you can go set, one
doorway to the next . You can use this on the phone;
you can start tonight testing it if you want to. Do you
understand?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Yes
Audience: _____ . One thing with the patterns is
these are eliciting states. One of the things I do with
patterns is as I know a state's being elicited I'll also
set an anchor there, too, so later on I can fire off that
anchor cause if I'm telling a pattern and the woman's
getting all aroused, you know, heck, that's a resource
state.
Ross: You're missing the point. Your voice becomes
the anchor. I can call women up and just read from the
phone book and they go gaga cause they're
anchored into my voice. Cause my voice is what's led
them throughout these things. Yes.
Audience: You say when you throw in things like
UMM just at the right time, you get ...
Ross: UMMM
Audience: a particular _____ anchor ...
Ross: You go "UMMM, do like chocolate? UMMM.”
Audience: So there'd be no advantage in the aesthetic
anchor?
Ross: You can do it, but if you're on the phone, how
do you do that? Okay? We're talking about doing it
on the phone. See?
Audience: The next thing is she doesn't, she can do
whatever she wants, but think that you don't know
what she's doing. Laughter.
Ross: Yeah. That's the other advantage. When you're
on the phone, she's in the privacy of her own
bedroom ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And I'll even add in little things. If she's on the
phone, I'll say, "You know, sometimes you can't even
put your finger on why you really feel all that.”
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: "You can't put your finger on the source of all
that excitement. But when you do, UMMM.” What
am I giving her a command to do? Does anyone not
get it?
Audiences: Responses from audience
75
Ross: Okay? So, the other thing about being on the
phone is your, your mouth is right up to her ear, no
one's watching, she can feel free to have all the
responses she wants. And then when you're done, go
"Well, I've gotta go. South Park's on.” Or whatever
show's on, or "I gotta go, you know, someone's, I've
gotta meet someone for coffee.” "Who? Who?" "Oh,
never mind, I'll tell you about her tomorrow.”
Audiences: Laughter.
Ross: "Maybe, maybe I better wait until I'm rested Up.
I'll talk to YOU in two days.”
Audiences: Laughter. Response from audience.
Ross: Give a woman a little bit of what she wants.
then pull away and make her work for more. You See
how it ties in? Never supplicate. Only ever structure
Opportunities and, and, present challenges, offer
challenges. Now, the thing about patterns is people
will say, "How do I know where to start?" Start
anywhere. If you get flexible enough you can start
from any one pattern and go to any other using the
structure I just gave you. I just gave you a crash
Course on conversational flexibility. Someone, please
be quiet if you heard this story before. , Someone said
to me, "You know, Ross. You would have been so
proud of me. I went to this bar and I was talking to
this woman and she looked at me and said, 'You
know, you got me so hot by the way you speak, all I
would need right now to go home with you and bang
your headlights out and give you the best fucking of
your life is one more beer. ’" And he said, “Ross, you
would have been so proud of me. I went into my own
version of the blow job pattern, talking about a beer. I
found out wh at her favorite was, Amsdel Light, and
said 'Do you ever have that Amsdel Light, take it out
of the fridge and it's sweating, like someone who's
stepping out of the shower and beads of sweat and
the beads of water are slowly evaporating. And then
you open it up and the head begins to foam up. You
pour the golden liquid into the bottle. You imagine it
sliding down your throat. You want to lick the head a
little bit, suck down all the foam. ' And by the time I
finished, I looked up, she was gone. Ross, what
should I have said?" "Well, she looked at you and
said all she needed was one more beer to go home
and bang your headlights out, you know what the
pattern you should have done was?" He said,
"What?" I said, "Bartender.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Is that we h ad a line of people up here and
you'll notice that what happened is that some of them
were still having some shyness left over. And rather
than fake it and go, "Yes, Ross. Hallelujah, I'm cured"
and view me as some guru who they have to obey,
they were honest in their response and go no, and
they said, "No, I still have some of the shyness.” So I
was able to work with them. And that shows me,
rather than viewing me as some guru you have to
obey, you view me as a teacher who's generally
concerned with you getting the material. So again,
throughout the rest of the weekend, if you're having a
challenge, you don't understand something, this is
the magical thing. You raise your hand and we'll help
you out. Okay?
Audience: Okay.
Ross: What I want to start out doing this morning is,
yesterday someone was still a little bit lost about what
we did at the end of the day. So I want to go through
it again very rapidly so you get it. It's very important.
As I said, there are three big chunks to speed
seduction. Okay? And one of the big chunks is the
conversational frameworks. Conversational
frameworks - what is the purpose of a conversational
framework? Remember one of the big questions to ask
yourself in getting this material is "What is the
purpose of this?" "What is it designed to do?" Well,
the purpose of a conversational framework is to,
number one, let You bring up the topic in a normal,
ordinary-sounding conversation. The second
purpose of conversational framework is to allow you
to flow from one pattern to the next . How many
people here are familiar with Dr. Laturrett? Who's seen
Dr. Laturrett do this thing? I mean, he hits a lot very
rapidly, okay? Flow hitting. Well, I sort of compare it
to flow hitting in a fight. You want to be able to hit
more than once okay? So, how many people here
have ever tried patterns and they ran out of things to
say after the first pattern? It happened to me when I
really only experimenting, okay? That's because you
don't know where to go next. Well, conversational
frameworks allow you to always know where to go
next. Now, there's some major pieces to
conversational frameworks. The first piece you really
want to get is the overall theme. Remember when the
big overall theme we were doing the other day is how
you learn about people. Now, when you pick a
conversational framework, when you pick an overall
theme, you want to pick something that's really broad.
Why don't you want to pick the exact composition of
phonograph needles from 1963?
Audience: laughter
Ross: I think you learn so much about the exact
phonograph - I mean, because it doesn't really leave
you a lot to go. But, what teaches you about people,
76
how you learned a lot about people? I mean, that's
such a broad topic you could go anywhere with it. All
right? So, you don't want to paint yourself into a
comer. It's like, the only punch you have in the fight
is, you know, your arms stuck under your leg,
hopping up and down on one foot. Okay? You want
to give yourself a lot of space. Here's the metaphor I
use. I like boxing. I'm a fight fan. I enjoy boxing. The
metaphor I use is, you don't want to start out boxing
from a comer, okay? What I do is I start out with a
broad topic, so I'm in the center of the ring with the
person. Here's the metaphor I like to use. So, the first
few, the first round, what do boxers do? Do they come
out slugging with everything they've got the first
round?
Audience: They feel each other out.
Ross: Once in a while. But usually what they do is
they're feeling the opponent out. They're getting a
sense of what the person's rhythm is, where they're
strong, where they're off balance. They're dancing
around the first round. Okay? So, I kind of view it as if
we're in the center of the ring and the first pattern I
do, I'm like beginning to get their rhythm. I'm starting
to like get a few shots in, they're dropping their arms a
little bit. Okay? The second pattern I'm shoving them
more towards the comer. Okay? And now I really got,
I got, now, by the third pattern they're in the comer.
You ever see a good boxer who just gives body
shots? This is a hostile metaphor. I don't mean it's like
fighting, but this is just one metaphor I'm using to get
your understanding, cut the ring off conversationally.
Conversationally, I want to cut the ring off on
someone. Do you know what it means in boxing to cut
the ring off of someone?
Audience: There's nowhere for them to go.
Ross: Nowhere for them to go. They can't dance away
from you. You've got them in a comer. Okay? Well, a
good boxer will throw a lot of body shot and you're
thinking, "Why is he throwing body shots? You're
not going to knock the guy out.” Well, what
happens? What happens to a fighter who's been hit a
lot to the body?
Audience: Responses
Ross: They drop their arms and then, boom, they're
out of there, they're gone. So, conversationally, I want
something that let's me to move, that allows me to
move around and gradually cut the ring off on the
person. Okay? So, how you learn a lot about people is
a good overall topic. Okay? Why? Because it allows
you to go to this and here's the other thing that
teaches you about people.
Audience: Ross, are you saying that's the way to
open a conversation?
Ross: Yes. It's a good, it's not only a good way to
open a conversation, but it's a good way to go, it's a
good thing to revisit to introduce any other topic.
”And here's something else that teaches you a lot
about people" or "Here's something else where you
learn a lot about people. And not only do you learn a
lot about people that way, but here's another way you
learn about people.” So, write these phrases down.
These are transition phrases. ”And here's something
else that teaches you a lot about other people.” At
the top of your paper write "Transition Phrases.” And
underneath transition phrases write "And here's
something else where, here's another way you learn a
lot about people.” Transition. ”Here's another way
you learn about people.” You can say it like this,
"And the other thing that teaches you a lot about
people is ...” Or you could say "Not only do you learn
a lot about people by learning how they x, " which is
what you just talked about, "but also how they y.”
"Not only do you learn about, a lot about people by
learning how time passes for them subjectively, but
also about, but also their personal timing, their
personal rhythms.”
Audience: Would you
Ross: Sure.
Audience: Another way you learn a lot about people
is to what?
Ross: Not only do you learn about people from this,
this being whatever you just talked about, but the
other thing that teaches you a lot about people is ...
]'his is a great topic because, "Who's going to say
'No, I don't want to learn about people?’" And
second, it implies that you're teaching them
something, which means you're a great person, which
through the law of reciprocity means they owe you
something. Now, there's a difference between being a
teacher and being someone you can learn from. Major
Mark, you want to jump in here briefly and talk about
that difference?
Yates: This is the end of Side 7 of the Basic Speed
Seduction Home Study Course by Ross Jeffries
Tape 4 – Side 2
Yates: This is Side 8 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed
Seduction Home Study Course
77
Ross: When, the difference between someone who's a
teacher and someone you learn from?
Major Mark: Well, the biggest difference is that we're
culturally condition to understand or believe that
trainers or teachers are an "other.” Okay? They're
someone above you, they're someone Outside your
realm of experience, and they're not someone you're
supposed to fuck. Okay? Or to allow to fuck you. So,
when you come into the role as a teacher or a trainer,
in fact, you have set yourself in a lose/lose kind of
situation. Okay? If instead you are someone that they
can learn from, then you're in a position of being
fascinating, okay? You can exert a mesmerizing
influence, okay? And because you are someone that
can learn from, it's not longer an encapsulated lesson
or a teaching, but rather it's a process. The more
they're around you, the more that they are taking you
into themselves, the better they feel, the larger their
life becomes.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Exactly. Yeah, I like it. And when you have a
new understanding coming inside you that grows and
grows, you can conceive of something new and
different. No, you don't want to say that.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Growing inside you day by day.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Absolutely correct. Thank you Major. Yes,
Audience: So how would one distinguish one's
behavior between being a teacher and being someone
to learn from? What would one do to that would make
that difference?
Major Mark: Okay. _____ how you structure your
approach to the person. Okay? If you are coming
across as preaching, for example, or if you have this
attitude yourself that you are some kind of hot shit, I
understand more than you kind of person, then you're
going to impart a lesson to that person, to your
subject, to the woman. Okay? And this, they pick up
on this. Okay? I used to think that women had
antenna that men don't have, okay, because they were
always picking up on things, additional messages,
that I perhaps didn't intend or was kind of horrified
that it had gotten out. Okay? I later come to
understand that we all have the same antenna, it's just
that men switch it off most of the time. During the
early parts of our life it wasn't valued and so we didn't
practice it so much. If instead you approach the
interaction with the understanding and the belief that
"Oh, here's one part of our life where I may
understand something a little more fully than you,
here, I can help you along.” Okay? It's like imagine the
path of life being full of all kinds of twists and turns
and occasionally ...
Ross: I'm a turn, he's a twist.
Major Mark: Okay. I just came back from 5 days at
Disneyland, so I'm real familiar with things like
standing in line fucking forever. Okay? You know?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: That's right. You don't need to take these
things deep inside. Just don't pay any attention, it'll
come to you later.
Ross: That's brilliant. You know, I talk about your
trips, you know I went to Disneyland and we were
standing inline fucking forever.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: See? I open my mouth and these things
come out.
Ross: I know. And you know, we were arguing over
which attraction we liked the best and I saw this ride.
Did you ever look at a ride and you know, you got to
jump on this? And it looks so incredible you want to
ride it multiple times, you want to get off and get on,
get off, get on, anyway.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: As we were waiting in line, go ahead. I rip off ...
We're a great team, aren't we?
Major Mark: So?
Ross: Right Ed? Right Stan.
Major Mark: As you're standing in line, you have this
phenomenon where you'll be right across from
someone and then the line moves on, okay, and then
a few minutes later your paths cross again. Okay?
And sometimes when they start splitting you into
multiple lines heading the same direction, you're never
really sure of who's ahead or who's behind, just know
the relative position changes? Okay? Think about
that as a mindset when you're talking to someone who
doesn't currently understand what you understand.
At that point and time, you may be a little bit ahead. It
costs you nothing to lead them to a better, more full
understanding of what's going on because you know
that a little bit farther down the line you're going to be
learning something from her as well. Okay? You're not
teaching, you're sharing. What is the most interesting
and natural thing for her to do once you have shared
78
with her? The principle of reciprocity comes into
affect. She will want to share something with you.
Now, is there anything she might have or understand
that you might find of value? Perhaps, yes?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: How to swallow a banana sideways?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Hand her a cherry stem and say, "Do
you, do you do anything with this?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Tie a knot in it with her tongue.
Major Mark: That's right. Yeah.
Ross: Some people can do that.
Audience: Brooke Shields.
Major Mark: Brook Shields say that?
Audience: She did that on the Jay Leno show.
Major Mark: Brook Shields doing that, I mean, that
would probably send me right into a trance ...
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: It checks the position, you know.
Ross: But there's, there's another distinction between
a teacher and specifically us, is we're not, again, we're
not, when we do these patterns, we're not trying to
convey to her an intellectual understanding. What are
we attempting to do?
Audience: Get a result.
Ross: Get a result, to lead her into a certain state or
states of mind. So one of the other distinctions is
teachers traditionally are there to convey intellectual
understanding or to help you memorize something
you can regurgitate on a piece of paper and that's,
that's not our intent at all. It's not what we're about.
So let me get back to this. We have a little problem
with his microphone. That's all right, okay. Transition
phrases. Now there are other ways to do transition
phrases, no matter what topic you start with. You can
start with any topic and a good transition phrase "It's
just like when" or "it's just like.” So I'm talking about
rhino testicles, okay? And the real interesting thing
about rhino testicles is they're so huge and they look
so tough and yet they're so sensitive.” "It's just like
when you meet someone ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "and on the surface they seem one way, but as
you draw closer and you really begin to feel that
sense of a connection, that click right there, that
allows you to stop and look past the surface, see
something deeper, something you want to take inside
and allow to really resonate with who you truly are
and the deepest levels, deep inside your soul.” "It's
the kind of thing that can cause a person t come over
and over and over again to one conclusion.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "That there's a real opportunity here. And the
really interesting thing about opportunities is this.”
Okay? Or, "The other interesting this about
opportunities is this, " so here's another transition
phrase. ”And the other interesting things, " See, it
just seems to flow me like, I don't know, it flows, but
only cause I understand the transitions. And one, one
drill you guys can do, you folks at home can do, is to
take any topic and relate it to any other topic no
matter how ridiculous by using these transitional
phrases. And here's the other thing about transitional
phrases. ”It's just like, you know, you ever been
waking up and then rather than wake up all the way
you just begin to fall right back down to sleep and
you go into that state betwe en a dream and between
being awake? And in that state you begin to visualize
wild amazing things. You hear things very clearly, you
see things, you imagine body sensations. The
interesting thing to me about being able to enter that
state, well, its just like when you go on vacation and
you leave behind the part of you that has all the rules,
all the roles and instead you step into that part that
has wild desires, the fantasies, ideas. I mean, you ever
just find yourself thing about certain Subjects? The
more you think about that subject, the more the desire
to act on it, just begins to come into play. Well, you
know, I think you learn so much about people by
learning how they connect to that part of
themselves.” See where I'm going? I'm using
transition phrases left and right. You have a question
with this.
Audience: Yes. Basically, you just went through like
three or four ...
Ross: Yeah
Audience: parts just by introducing ...
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. You get a sense of real flexibility
with this and it begins to make you very Powerful in
your conversation. Okay? Now understand, this is a
part of it, another part which we're going to be dealing
with today is noticing responses and getting rapport
with people. I'm going to show you guys, now, I'm
going to show y ou guys some exercises where you
79
can sort of look at the person, briefly step inside
them, get a sense of what their emotional state is like,
and decide how or if you're going to approach. Okay?
Do you understand?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So this is very important. The other thing I want
you to think about, to begin to think about in terms
of, is to think in terms of, well, let me put it to you this
way. As I said the other day, women tend to
compartmentalize sexual thoughts. There are certain
themes they are going to let you get into that
compartment. And I know when you guys think of the
compartment you want to get into ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You're thinking about the wrong thing, Because
that's not where you put your attention. Okay? So
there's certain themes, even if you didn't know any of
the embedded commands, any of the patterns and
language, by virtue of being able to understand and
intelligently discuss those themes, you're going to get
a lot further. Okay? Now what are some of those
themes? Dryrot, fungus ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Trans Ams and IROCs. Unlikely, okay?
Audience: WWF
Ross: WWF. Yeah, the World Wrestling Federation.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: I remember this girl. I could not crack her but as
soon as I started talking about Andre the Giant, that
was it. I said, "You know, Andre the Giant ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: For those of you at home, I'm pointing at my
crotch. ”Andre the Giant, man, he was big. He was so
big that couldn't fit him in that little ring.”
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Don't try this at home. No. There's certain,
there's certain themes, you know, rather than me give
it away, I want you to think it, I'm not going to give
you the language. I want you to think about these
themes and really begin to explore it for yourself
because there are levels of understanding this. I could
spoon feed you. And through the weekend I have
been and will continue to spoonfeed you in some
respects, but to really encourage you to, to get his, I
want you to think about what it means to, t o, what
these themes are all about, what are these themes,
write little essays, you know. Mark and I will grade
them and then we'll laugh at you, ha ha ha ha ha.
We're not letting this person back in the seminar.
Major Mark: We'll laugh in a compassionate manner.
Ross: Yeah, right. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where like someone trips and breaks their nose. We,
you know what, we don't always take people's money,
we kick people out and give them their money back.
We've had some customers that we said "We're not
doing business with you, you're off the list. Here's a
refund, get out of here.”
Audience: For bad ass ass?
Ross: No, not for bad ass ass.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'll just have my mom come up, call up and bitch
you out, you know? How do you spell that word?
Audience: Laughter. What did you kick them out for?
Ross: If I got a Nobel Prize, my mom would go, "They
misspelled Nobel.” No, not really. Oh, bad attitude,
you know, like, "Well you have to show us. I don't
believe this. You show me now.” And we showed
them the door or, you know, if they call up on the
phone and go, "Well I think this is fraud, you better
show ...” Goodbye, I don't need you. And I've also
had people doing consults, forgive me, one second,
I've had people doing consults on the phone and
they're not willing to do the work. I'll go, "Forget it.
You're not willing to do the work, you're a lazy ass,
send it back, I don't want your money if you re not
going to get the results. Send back and I'll give you a
refund.” You know?
Audience-. How would you write the essay? How
would you ...
Ross: Well, I'll let's take, pick a theme. How about
fantasies? I'll give you some hints about fantasy.
Fantasies. Now, right there, that's a lot more
interesting than, than double blind she variable
studies on mice urine.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's more, it's got more ... I learned something
from comedy writing. I wasn't a very good comedy
writer, but I did learn to develop what, it's funny. The
guy who taught me comedy writing, Danny Simon,
Nell Simon's brother, he said, "When you write
comedy, you learn to develop a sense of smell he
actually had an olfactory sense. He would smell if a
subject was funny. He said, "That smells funny.”
Okay. You learn to develop sort of a sense of smell
about what topics have a lot of potential. I don't want
80
to get too ...
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: And I don't, ha ha, I don't want to get too far
into this, cause ...
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: I don't want to get too far into this because this
is a basic seminar and this is a fairly advanced topic.
We're just to touch on it, to touch on it briefly, cause
some things ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Somethings you just want to touch on lightly,
skim the surface, and then go back.
Audience: Laughter and response from audience
Ross: Yeah, yeah, well ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Well, if you don't, hey, if you want to blow this
opportunity, then fine.
Audience: Not on your life.
Ross: Yeah. I would rather grab a hold of this
opportunity, y ou know, expand it, make it bigger, you
know.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: That it in a new direction.
Audience: And see what can come up.
Major Mark: Well, you know, some people reach out
for it naturally, and other people, you've just got to
feed it to them.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: But don't ...
Major Mark: You're the expert.
Ross: You can reject it now, but you'll get it in the
end.
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Some fantasies ...
Ross: Aaahhh ... All right. But fantasies, let's think
about this. Let's see what we can spin or riff off of
this. Just if we have different little pieces floating out
here, floating out there. You know what? Fantasies.
How about, well, let me, let do this this chronic, a little
more . To stimulate your idea centers. Are fantasies
things that we have complete control over?
Audience: No.
Ross: What does that imply?
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Who said that?
Audience: Said what?
Ross: Say it again. What does it imply?
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Subconscious, okay. They're automatic. What
else about fantasies?
Audience: They're fun, responses from audience.
Ross: They're fun. That's true. Well it depends on ... If
you're Stephen King, they're not.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It would be fun to do the Stephen King pattern,
to take the part of someone's mind where they have
their sexual fantasies and put Stephen King in there.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: You could say it allows everybody their
own individual roles as opposed to force of evil to
live in the real world or ...
Ross: Ooohh, say that again. Say that out loud.
Louder.
Audience: It allows individuals to be in their own
world, because there's only one real world, and we all
have to live in it, but for a fantasy, create our own
world, and live ... Ross: Okay. Now listen to what he
said. That's ripe with possibility. I mean that is
pregnant with ... Okay? Allows you to be in your own
world versus the real world. What does that imply?
Audience: Anything goes, everything's possible ...
Ross: Different places in the mind, that's right. That's,
that's, hmmm, boy that smells like a good one to me.
What do you think? Different places in the mind,
okay? How about the fact that people can travel back
and forth between worlds? Yes.
Audience: It's also the origin of every invention that
was ever made.
Ross: That's true. It's, it's, it has an origin of
inventiveness.
Audience: Say what, origin ...
Ross: Well that, that, people tend to come up with
new ideas from special place of fantasy not the place
of the real world. Yes.
Audience: I'd say also fantasies develop as the
81
individual develops more experience, as the person
has widespread or ...
Ross: That's true. But you want to be careful with
languaging like widespread.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It could be a command for people to get fat. No,
...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I really have matured, haven't I?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: and go for it.
Ross: No, uh uh.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got control here,
uh, uh, ain't gonna happen. And that's the most
important thing about seducing women.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: How we think. Is that a great insight, what do
you think?
Audience: Applause, laughter, cheering, responses
from audience.
Ross: Can I borrow your pattern honey? And if you
don't get it, then you're dead meat.
Audience: Ow, ooohhh.
Ross: All right. Just kidding. So, these are, think
about this.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Sshhh. Think about this. They're automatic,
how about this? How about sometimes they take on a
life of their own? You ever had fantasies take on a life
of their own? I want you guys to ask the question,
okay, granted that fantasies take on a life of their own,
what is the structure of that? If I had to describe that
experience, how would I describe it? What happens
on the inside when fantasies take on a life of their
own? Where does that happen? Write this down.
Where does it happen, how quickly does it happen,
how intensely does it happen, when does in happen?
These are the things I talk about when I describe
something. How does it happen, when does it
happen, how quickly, how intensely, what is it that
triggers it?
Audience: The perspective you bring to it.
Ross: The perspective you bring to it. This is great,
this is really specific. This is, this is gold coin guys.
What does it lead to next? Okay? When you want to
give a description of anything, ask yourself these
questions and allow those questions to generate the
descriptions. Let's try this. So let's say someone is
having sexual fantasies. If you were going to describe
it by answering these questions, what descriptions
would you come up with? Yeah, answer that question.
You're lying there on a bed of nails with a flame-
thrower up your ass. Is that how it happens?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Answer that question. Where does it happen?
Use your words and tell me, where does it happen?
Major Mark: Think back. Have you ever had a sexual
fantasy in you life? And as you have it, where were
you? Not where were you physically, but what was
going on ...
Ross: No. I want to know where he was physically.
Major Mark: Oh. Okay.
Ross: I would say, start by saying I, I was ... where?
Audience: I was laying in bed ...
Ross: Good. Good. That's so you're laying there in
bed and we don't want to get into this because it's
getting kind of kinky, but here's my point. This is how
you build patterns for yourself By listing these
questions and then by answering them as if you were
describing it to a third party. You get it?
Audience: Uh hmmm. How would or what happens
next ...
Ross: How intensely ...
Audience: Would you give an example of that?
?: I told her or I told them or ...
Ross: You know Debbie, it's so interesting I think,
you know, when you have fa ntasies with someone,
it's like when you go home, you're lying there in bed,
you find that place in your mind where you think your
most exciting thoughts, where you keep you amazing
memories. And then you begin to picture this person
in you mind. Okay? And the more that happens the
more you begin to imagine their touch, you hear their
voice. And then its like anything in your environment
triggers it, like whenever you step into the shower?
Remember what triggers it in the environment. You
can put that down. What is it that triggers it in the
environment? These are examples of the kind of
questions you want to ask yourself in order to
construct your own pattern and language. You're
going to be using this. You'll be using this cause, to
82
write new patterns. I'm telling you how I think, I'm
lifting up my dress, going look. Anything you care to
add to that Major Mark?
Major Mark: The more evocative your language is,
even if you're thinking it to yourself, the more
evocative your language is, the more powerful the
descriptions, the more real the fantasy becomes and
when you're talking to a woman you want to lead her
to a new understanding or a new experience, you
want to make the fantasy as strong a reality as you
can. Get it? It must become real to be real. Okay?
There is a point, there's a, where you cross over that
dividing line between fantasy and reality and the
great truth, anchoring truth, is that all realities begin
as fantasies. Okay?
?: They didn't even hear it. They didn't even hear it.
?: Booo
Ross: You see, when Mark says something like that
and I hear a pattern, I like have detectors. I go dong
dong dong, did you see me guys. He said, "There's a
point where fantasy crosses over and becomes what
was exactly was the languaging you said?
Major Mark: That's it.
Ross: There a line you cross ...
Audience: Fine line
Ross: There's a fine line that you cross where a
fantasy becomes reality. Ooohhh, did you hear that?
That's a difference between a woman just thinking
about banging you and jumping your bones. Did you
hear that? That's a pattern. That's the subject matter
for an incredible pattern. He just drops it and you
don't even hear it, but I'm going dong, dong, dong ...
Audience: _____ reality.
Major Mark: It's a reality. You say the one reality that
we all share, now I could easily differ with you on that
one. Okay? But the thing is, you start there, then you
start moving to a conversation about fantasy, and
then the words imply that you want her to start
thinking about reality but the process drives her
deeper into a richer, more evocative fantasy.
Ross: Right. There's an, there's a big structure here.
Let this, this is great. This is where Mark and I do
gold together and you won't get this anywhere else in
the world. Listen, we're taping it. Listen. You start, it's
sort of a pace and lead. You start with one, with one
thing which is she's in one state and then by talking
about another state you bring her to the line between
them and you get her to cross over. Think about it.
It's one thing to talk about fantasy, it's another thing
to talk about reality. But when you talk about the
moment in time, the point where you cross over from
fantasy into reality, he didn't say from reality into
fantasy, he said from fantasy into reality, implying
that you're going t o act on the fantasy that you're
having. You understand? This is something Mark
said once to me. I was stuck with something,
remember? I was sitting there going, you know I sat
there on my vacation and I couldn't figure this out.
And you said, you quoted a famous figure from
history who we will not mention, cause we don't want
those neuro associations with us. But you said, "Try
asking this question Ross. Saying what is it that
compels us to do what we do? What is it that causes
us to take action.” And I riffed on it. I said, "Yes, what
is it that takes something that just one moment before
was a fantasy and the next moment becomes our
living, breathing, pulsating, energized reality?
Something that absorbs and lifts us into another You
understand?
Major Mark: Absolutely.
Ross: Yeah. And so I, this, this is so good. The point
where you cross the dividing line between fantasy
and reality. So one way to riff on the topic is to take
something that's different from that and then ... Yes?
You had a question?
Audience: Yeah. I'm sorry. It just reminds me so much
of why people are so fascinated with Disney movies,
adults ...
Ross: Are we getting him?
Audience: Because it's a cartoon on the surface and it
seems like it should be for kids, but the dialogue is
written so colorfully and so distinctly that adults are
able to get into it as well. So, while it seems like
childhood fantasy, it may be geared towards children,
it becomes an adult's reality. So therefore, they're into
it and they sell of these.
Ross: Now listen, listen. Very bright man. Cause what
did I say yesterday? That the subconscious, the
unconscious recognizes structures. ”Oh it seems
harmless cause it's only a cartoon, so it's okay to do
it.” If they made a movie with real people, not only
would it be too expensive, but the theme would be
way too controversial to touch it. You understand?
So in the sense you're like Disney, you're creating
these structure where it's okay for her to explore
themes and topics that she normally would never do
with anyone else. You get it? And there's something
else, The very fact that she is exploring this with you
makes her really think this must be the, someone very
83
special. She doesn't realize she's exploring it with you
cause you've structured her to do that. Do you
understand?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: This is the power of using the proper structure
in you communication. Does everyone, I know there's
at least one person here who doesn't understand the
distinction about structure. But he gave a very good
example. Now you know, Jonathan Swift was very
good at that. He would take a political point and he'd
put in into a fantasy tale. Gulliver's Travels was all a
political satire. You're a comedy writer, you know
about this kind of stuff.
?: Modest proposal?
Ross: Right
?: Modes t proposal.
Ross: Okay. Hang on.
?: The modest proposal's on Politically Incorrect,
where we would take a subject, satirize it and say, you
know, for example, a good solution to get people to
ride the subway is to make it a ride. That's the kind of
thing that Jonathan Swift would propose.
?: You don't want to put a loop in the subway.
Ross: Or, or take Animal Farm, the George Orwell
story, Animal Farm. He wrote a fictional tale of
animals who took over a farm but it was really about
totalitarianism and the dictatorial mindset. Because he
told it as a children's tale, he was able to get away
with it.
Audience: It's true. A lot of times the different animals
represent different races. But if you had different
races, people would get very offended.
Ross: Right, exactly, exactly, exactly.
Audience: A bunny rabbit and a bear ...
Ross: Yeah, exactly right. Okay.
?: Also, to take the Disney step one point further is
even The Simpson's, they gave you, which is far more
subversive than anything Disney
Ross: I love Simpson's
?: _____ subversive TV show in history to television
because they have this lovable kid and they're
hammering home themes like guns are bad and
nuclear power is ...
Ross: Guns are good, by the way. Guns are good, so
get out of here.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: In the hands of the right woman, guns are
good. Right.
?: But for example, Homer goes into, Homer goes into
the gun shop on a recent episode and they, and he's
pissed off and he needs a gun. And the guy said
there's a seven-day waiting period. And Homer goes
but I want my gun now, but I'm mad now.
Ross & Audience: laughter
?: And the guy goes I'm sorry, sir. You have to wait
seven days. And Homer goes, uhhh, if I had my gun,
I'd shoot you.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: No, I'm pro-guns, so we're going, we're going to
eliminate that. I'm pro-choice and I'm just prochoice so
one choice is to own a gun.
Major Mark: Well, people don't understand. It's not
the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.
Ross & Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Ohhh, Mark. We're getting racy here. So
anyway, let me get back to this. But you see, but you
see what can grow, do you see what can grow out of
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Proper discussion of fantasy. Okay? Are you
getting this? You're not looking very happy, you're
looking like, you get it? Okay. So, I like that, this
notion of a dividing line, cause what else does the
dividing line imply? It means you're standing right on
the edge. You can't sit there any more on your ass,
you have to go one way or the other. That's another
topic, okay? He was talking about the dividing line
between fantasy becoming reality, but how about the
topic of dividing lines in and of itself? That's an
interesting topic, isn't it? "You know, I was thinking
about Debbie? I was thinking about how much of our
lives is determined by what I call dividing lines. The
line between one thing and the very moment,
transitioning into another thing. Like the line between
hesitation and going for it.” Okay? This is how you
develop themes. This is how you get good at this
stuff. We'll spoonfeed you later in the weekend, but
right now, we really want to open up you
consciousness to learn to think. Now, stop a minute.
Compare this kind of discussion and this kind of
thinking, compare this kind of discussion and this
kind of thinking with what the average frustrated
chump does before he goes out on a date. What is he
thinking?
84
Audience: What am I going wear.
Ross: What I'm going to wear
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Yeah, I hope I look nice, I hope I get some,
when do I go for it,
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: How much should I spend tonight,
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Does she have a sister,
Audience: Got to go to the ATM
Ross: What?
Audience: Does Spanish Fly really work?
Ross: Does it?
Audience: Responses and laughter
Ross: Will that, will the makeup hide the chancre?
You know.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay?
Audience: What are rubies?
Ross: What are rubies.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Ooohhh, he's a bad boy. I don't know if we
want him in here any more. Well, he's working on a
screenplay. Yes, Dr. Kay.
Dr. Kay: We're talking about
Ross: Yeah, topic, theme. Yeah, uh hmmn, sure. Okay,
but see, a topic, a topic usually implies singularity.
Okay. It's a thing that you talk about, okay. A theme
is a direction. Right? A theme you can riff off
constantly. Okay? I want to return to an earlier
question. Yes, the fellow in the back wanted to know
what happens if, how you keep track of where you're
going. As you go into trance yourself, okay, as you
lead her into exciting new places, a possibility, how
you keep track of where you're going. Okay? Now,
you ought to know better than to ask that question,
cause in Hawaii I gave you the very specific example
of what I started doing this, I wanted, I wanted to
make sure I was tracking my ideal outcome and to
insure that the outcome I was going for was, in fact,
going to get me what I wanted. So, I would
hallucinate. Everybody know what a really nice TV
looks like? The clarity of picture, that crisp picture?
Okay? I would imagine right over her left shoulder
that I saw a monitor and on that monitor I would
display what it was I wanted as my outcome. Now,
being the crass individual that I am, okay, I would
often visualize her blowing me on this monitor. Okay?
And the amazing thing is that as I did this over and
over, of course I'd start out with these highly
idealized, you know, stolen images from some porn
film or something like that, okay. But the idea is to
imagine her doing it. And much to my surprise, I
would find out that I'd walk up, I'd introduce myself to
some fine-looking woman, start talking, and I'd realize
she was giving me this very awkward blowjob over
her left shoulder. And I'm thinking well she's not any
good, I don't want to talk to her.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay, so I excuse myself and go on. But that's
one of the ways, you have to keep an out, an outcome
in mind so that no matter what happens, no matter
which way the conversation goes, how she reacts to
the theme, whether you need to switch to another
theme, no matter what happens, you want to keep that
outcome in mind. Okay? Because that's where you
want to go. The whole purpose of your life is getting
to where you want to go. Right? Say yes.
Audience: Yes
Ross: Now, the second thing you can do is to trust
the teaching. Okay? Trust the technology. The reason
that we do things like conversational framework is
you no longer have to know where you're going.
Okay? So long as you understand transition phrases,
so long as you understand you’ll have a wide variety
of possible themes you can play with, and so long as
you trust the fact that you're playing, you're having
fun, you're discovering something about her and
discovering something about yourself and the way
that you respond to her, is you have a clear idea of
where outcome is or what your outcome is, it doesn't
really matter how you loop around in between.
Because you're going to get there, you're going to get
your outcome. That's the whole point. So, there are
ways to keep track of where you're going at same
time. It's not all that important to keep track and what
happens next. Frank?
Frank: When you say trust the technology, you're
saying, that just trust that your unconscious mind will
come up with this?
Ross: No. No, I, let me, if I may. Once you understand
the technology, then you understand that as long as
you know how to say, and the other thing I think is
interesting is, and then you'll be able to relate it to
85
something else. If you understand the theme, if you
really understand the theme and you're not just
parroting, then you know how to, how to transition
into something. If I'm talking about fantasies, right?
What I will do is, here's how I think about things. I'll
draw the word fantasy in a big circle and I'll draw
arrows. I'll go, okay, what about fantasies is
interesting to me? Okay? Well, they take on a life of
their own. And what would be a description of that?
So I'll write out the description. How do fantasies take
on a life of their own? Where does that happen?
What is that similar to that everyone's experienced?
Well, everyone's heard of a song in their head and
couldn't get it out. How can I use the fact that that's a
universal experience? Well, I'll go, "Hey Debbie, for
example, you know, I think fantasies are so interesting
how they take on a life of their own. Like you ever
have a song in your head and you can't get it out?
The more you try, it's just there. Everywhere you go,
everything you do, you hear that song? Well, it
would be like then, if you're fantasizing about a
person, you hear this person's voice right in that same
place where the song plays over and over and over
again.” Okay? But I am to generate that cause I asked
myself okay, where does this happen? What's
something similar to that that everyone's experienced
that I can use to get her into that mindset? Okay?
Audience: 'Men after that you move on to the next
step?
Ross: I'll say, then I move on and go well, I'll think to
myself, okay, what else about it, what else is there
about fantasies? I'll draw this for you. Okay? This is
really good. This is, this is solid gold stuff you guys
are getting this morning. And it's just, I know it may
be over some of your heads but we're going to go
back until you get it. All night? So look. So, I'll say, I'll
draw. This is what I do. I have charts on my floor. If
anyone's been to my house and seen my closets I
have stacks of charts where I've worked on these
ideas and certain people who helped me so much,
thank you, thank you, thank you. Clean up my place.
Girl: That's the night position ...
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Girl: You guys be on your knees ...
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Thank you. They were everywhere. And she
came in, and cause I have to move, she came in like a
tornado, drill sergeant, organized everything. Now
we're going to go through this part of the house, and
go over there. Well, I have, no, you're going to sit
there, you're going to go through every one of them,
every one and decide what you're going to throw out
now. (Girl in background talking) No I like it, it's not
mean, it's just nice and commanding, the way I like it.
Okay? You can either have a little tiny dainty dove or
you can have a falcon. What?
Audience: I have a question.
Ross: Yes sir.
Audience: Is there, do you guys recommend any
patterns to run actually during getting a blowiob or
by then is just ...
Ross: Yeah,
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah, it goes oohhh, uhhhh.
Audience: Just checking.
Ross: There are times when you don't really want to
distract her.
Audience: Applause and laughter.
Audience: There is a time not to run a pattern. This is
what I'm getting at.
Ross: But, you want ...
Audience: Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if they
were wanting to make her, like, you know ...
Ross: You, you ...
Girl: No wonder you guys talk so much
Audience: I have a similar question.
Ross: The outcome's about to come out. Yes.
Audience: Laughter. Let's say you spent a period of
time with someone, how many patterns, how long,
Ross: They, what did I say? Formula, patterns are not
rules, they're just examples, okay? You said
something. You don't want to continue the patterns.
Listen to me. You don't want to continue repeating
what I've written for you but you want to learn to
generate these kind of language for yourself. See, its
not a just, its not about casting. There's a difference
between being a sorcerer and someone who uses a
spell. A sorcerer is someone who always thinks about
this and lives it. Okay? You can be someone who
temporarily says my spells and get, gets an outcome.
But that's not as powerful as being someone who
moves through the world thinking in this way. Yes,
Brother Ryan.
Ryan: I think about it like this. When you, when you
86
make, when you seduce a woman, right, you're using
patterns, you make a promise almost. You, you know,
let her believe and you are this person and then if you
stop talking that way, you no longer fulfilling your
promise. So if you've been, as you move into, maybe
not when you're actually getting _____ , but even as
you move into that, you can continue to make the
experience pleasurable. Even as you develop, if you
develop a relationship, you know, you can still, you
can still talk in these themes and in this way, or she's
going to notice a difference and she's not going to
appreciate it. I mean, you know, it's not a one shot
deal. You want to keep reinforcing it, you want to
keep delivering what you've promised.
Ross: You want to become the kind of man who
thinks about the world in a different way. Now,
here's the way to do that. Grab a book and when y ou
see a theme in the book that interests you, underline it
and begin to do this. So let's take, okay. So this is
how I would do it. If you came to my house, you
would see this. Of course, you'd see my charts are
now chewed up and clawed.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: _____ my best research is, is fodder for her to
roll around on. Or I'll be drawing something, like I'll be
showing Brother Coby something, some really
important marketing point and she'll come and sit right
down on the charts so we can't see it.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: She's your cat.
Girl: Hey, Ross?
Ross: Yeah.
Girl: Reply
Ross: Yes, of course you may.
Girl: If he's going do what he's point out, is that the
difference between doing this for a little while to get
an outcome and make me a part of your life?
Ross: Right.
Girl: And if you're going to do this, you really have to
make it a part of your life in a way, the way you
communicate all the time, not just when you're trying
to get a chick in bed. And all that, all of the attitudes
and everything become part of your life, which is
much more effective.
Ross: And that's really sexy, cause then your whole
life is a wonderful, joyous event, so god dammit.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Would you stop steering them in the wrong
direction honey? That's my best friend in the whole
world back there. Right? Bunny.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Why is that . 9 I don't know. She's got me
hip-nick-otized. Okay. Fantasy.
Audience: Laughter
Girl: Really?
Ross: She used girlnosis on you. She used g irlnosis,
_____
Audience: Laughter. Responses from audience.
Ross: Okay. Did you say what I thought you just
said?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I know, you ever take nitroglycerin and like kick
it and throw lit matches at it?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Don't go there.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: She looks small but her arms are really strong
from doing all, look at the forearms. Go ahead, flex.
Her forearms are strong. She said to me today, she
said, you know, she said some women can only
damage body parts but I can rip them off. I went,
yeah, I know.
Audience: Laughter
Girl: I didn't say that.
Ross: Well, along those lines. Fantasies. Okay. So lets
go to fantasies. Okay. So I'll draw arrows. I like to
draw arrows and circles. Okay? So I'll draw an arrow
and I'll think to myself, okay, what about fantasies?
Well, they take on ... Here's the question I ask. I'll
write fantasies in a circle, and the big metaquestion I
ask is what's interesting about fantasies to me? Okay?
I'll just start thinking, well they take on a life their
own. They take on a life of their own. Okay? Are you
following my thinking? Not just writing but are
following how I think about it? Okay. What's
interesting about dwarfs? Well, lets see ...
Audience: You can throw them.
Ross: You can throw them.
Audience: Laughter
87
Ross: Okay.
Audience: That's sounded . Laughter. They start
small, responses from audience.
Ross: Yeah, I know. Okay? They take on ...
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: They're always sticking their nose in other
people's business.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. Okay, listen. They take on a life of their
own. Okay? Once I pick that topic, they take on life,
the subtopic, how they take on a life of their own? I'll
say to myself, how does that happen? How does that
happen? Okay? And then that in turn gives me the
description. So I'll write down, actually, the way I do
this is I do it half asleep. I'm lying there in bed and I
hear the words in my head, and then I begin to say
the words out loud. And then I run and I write them
down. So my process is I'm lying in like half a trance
state, I'll hear the words in my head, I'll hear myself
speaking the words, I'll speak them out loud, and then
I go and I write them down.
Audience: You should keep a tablet in bed.
Major Mark: He keeps _____ by the bed.
Ross: I, well, ...
Audience: Do you getup?
Ross: I get up and write them on a, on a, on my chart.
Okay? Well, usually what I do is I'll go through it like
three times. So I'll hear it in my head, repeat it out
loud, hear it in my head again to see if I want to
change it, repeat it out loud, and then run it through
my head and if it sounds right I'll repeat it out loud
and then I go and I write it down. Yes.
Audience: Ross, you hear what in your head? The
descriptions?
Ross: The description.
Audience: Okay.
Ross: Okay. Now this happens real fast for me. It
happens in the space of a second, but I'm giving you
my, my, my algorithm, showing you my strategy so
you know how do it yourself. Okay. Then I'll come up
with a description. Once I've got the description, I'll
say, what else is interesting to me about fantasies?
You all right?
Audience: Yeah, I'm fine.
Ross: You want, jump in at any time, okay?
Audience: Response
Ross: Okay. What else is interesting about fantasies?
Well, I'll think how fantasies become more and more
powerful the more you try to deny yourself. So, okay.
How they become more and more powerful the more
you deny them. And then I ask the same question,
how does that happen? So the basic questions I ask
are what is interesting to me about x? I write that
down, then I say, how does happen and that gives me
the description.
Audience: What's my last _____ , bottom _____ .
Ross: The description. Are you understanding this,
sir? How I come up with it? Are you understanding
the sequence? I say what's interesting to me about
this. Then I ask, I write that down, whatever it is, then
I say how does that happen. That gives me the
description. And the description is the actual pattern
language. This is what you're actually going to say to
the chick. Okay? You get it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I'm not hearing yes or no from you sir.
Audience: Yeah, I'm wondering what's in the ...
Ross: This one? Okay, this is the, I'll say, then the
next question is, I'll say what else is interesting to me
about this? Then I say, okay, how they become more
and more powerful the more you try to deny them.
And then I ask how does that happen, and then I give
the description of how that happens. I'm not going to
give you the wording. I want you to come u p with
your own. We're going to do an exercise after lunch.
Using this formula, I'm going to give you a topic and
you guys are going to come up with patterns. All
right? I'm going to drill you really hard. I want you to
be able to do this on your own? Yes? Good?
Different? Great?
Yates: This is the end of Side 8 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
88
Tape 5 – Side 1
Yates: This is Side 9 of the Basic Speed Seduction
Seminar by Ross Jeffries
Ross: Great? Language master. Time for a break?
Major Mark: No wait. One other thing. Wait, wait,
wait. Because when you, to my mind, my opinion, it's
not enough to give a couple different descriptions.
You have to include a call to action. Okay? And the
best call to action is a double bind question. Oka y?
So for example,
Audience: Explain double bind question.
Ross: Explain what it is.
Audience: double blind?
Ross: Double bind.
Major Mark: If I were to be given chance, I would,
okay? Now, when we're talking about fantasies and
we have two examples about how they take on a life
of their own or what was the other one?
Ross: They take on a life of their own and how they
become more and more strong the more you try to
deny them.
Major Mark: Oh, more and more strong. Okay.
Ross: One more thing. I would do three descriptions.
Major Mark: Right. Three. Okay. And then you ask a
simple question. Say, it's all interesting isn't it. What
is it about, well you know, those fantasies that are so
compelling? It's like, you have to ask yourself is it that
they draw you towards them with an irresistible desire
or is that you are just compelled to move towards
them out of something that's welling up within you?
Okay?
Ross: Oh, man. Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Let's do that, we need this word for word. This
is something where they need to be spoon-fed. Look
at the structure of what he does. I want to give you
the structure and then we'll do it word for word. Yes
sir, question.
Audience: by the time you fall for the double bind or
whatever that they're already in a trance and they're
not going to notice ...
Mark: Right. Well see, you don't want to give her
three killer examples of powerful compelling fantasies
and she goes, "Wow, that was great. Thank you.
Gotta go.” You know. Cause that is your most likely
outcome if you don't go to the call to action.
Ross: Okay, the general, the overall structure is what
is it about x, where x is the topic, is it y, where y is one
choice where's she's going to jump you, or is it z,
where z is the other choice where she's going to jump
you right there and then? So, if you would go through
the exact languaging again please, Major Mark?
Mark: What is it ...
Ross: Isn't Major Mark awesome?
Audience: Applause and cheers
Ross: I'm _____ , do like ... Is it time?
Mark: What is it about, well, those fantasies,
nonspecific, that is so compelling ...
Ross: If you don't slow down a little bit. I know the
speed at which they need to be spoon-fed. Okay?
What is it about those fantasies that is so compelling
... Yes sir
Audience: As far as either so compelling, or ...
Mark: No. No.
Ross: No. No.
Mark: You want to set up a predicate. Okay? What is
it about those fantasies, I'm being non-specific
because I want her to pick one, okay? That is so
compelling, that's the predicate, that you have to ask
yourself
Audience: Or one ask themselves.
Mark: You ...
Ross: No. Stop. This is disruptive. Let him continue.
Go ahead Mark.
Mark: Trust me. I actually know how to do this.
Audience: Laughter.
Mark: Okay. That is so compelling you have to ask
yourself is it that it draws you forward with an
irresistible impulse and attraction or you feel yourself
propelled towards it
Audience: I lost you on there
Mark: Impulse or attraction or
Audience: Either or
Mark: Yeah
Audience: Response from audience
89
Mark: Well, you could. Or you could say one or the
other. Or say something similar. As long as you don't
weaken it. Or you find yourself propelled towards it as
though riding an unstoppable urge from within?
Ross: Laugh
Audience: Responses from audience
Mark: Propelled
Ross: Propelled towards it
Mark: As though riding an unstoppable urge from
within.
Ross: Now listen, _____ . Unstoppable urge ...
Audience: Response from audience. It's just that you
lay them with a double binder so she doesn't have a
choice but don't you also want to anchor it to you
because she may take that choice and go do that with
somebody else or ...
Ross: Well, its anchored to him because of his voice.
But hang on, there's a point I want to make here. Hold
your questions a minute. I'm going to ask, hold your
questions just for a second. Cause there's some
things more to teach. Please pay attention up here
Phoenix. Okay? Understand, he's doing something
else. He's giving her a, there's a, there's a certain
aspect of motion here where he's saying you're either
going to be, are you being drawn forward or are, are
you, are you, are you, are you being pulled towards it
or is there something pushing you towards it? It's sort
of a propulsion system so in effect both are
happening. She's both being drawn towards it and
something inside her is pushing her towards it. So
she's being, it's a push her pull, it's a push/pull. She's
both being pulled forward and pushed from behind.
So Mark is saying it's not enough in his mind that she
be pulled towards him by urge. She also has to feel
that there's something irresistibly pushing her at the
same time so she's really moving forward.
Mark: I'm lazy. Okay? This is a recurring theme in my
work. I am really lazy. I don't want to have to care
whether she has a moving towards strategy or
moving away strategy. Okay? She can choose. I'm
offering her a legitimate choice. They all lead to me,
okay?
Audience: Laughter
Mark: She has a legitimate choice.
Ross: The real distinction here, Mark is making a
comparison. He's comparing being drawn with being
propelled. This is the key to Mark's pattern. The key
to the pattern that Mark just gave you in all that
languaging and all that beautiful, brilliant baroque
beautiful piece of languaging, a gem, is this. Drawn
and propelled. These two words are the key to that
pattern. Yes?
Mark: Yes.
Ross: Okay? So I can zero in and go, okay, what's the
key to what Mark's doing? Now I can spin my own
pattern on this. I can go, "What's the difference
between the things in life that draw us and the things
that propel us?" And I can go into a completely new
pattern. This is how I generate patterns cause I know
what to listen for and to see what is the most
important part.
Audience: Would you go through that once more?
Ross: Yeah. I can, I'll do it right now if you, you know,
I'm not gonna, I'm too lazy.
Mark: And besides. She will come across with a
response. Okay. It may be verbal, it may be nonverbal,
she is going to react to one of these choices. Okay?
And, if she goes, "Oh, well, It just, I see it and it's so
fascinating, I'm just drawn into it.” I'm going, hmmm,
what can I do with this? Okay. She's just given me
next five minutes of conversation. Or if she is like
being non-verbal but highly oral, do you just stop
there. Which is your point. You know, its
Ross: All right. Now it's time for a break. Let's take 10
minutes.
BREAK
Mark: So, is this clear to people? Do you understand
it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Okay. We understanding? My purpose here is
not to get you think about fantasies per se, but to
show you the overall structures to generate your own
patterns. Now someone said to me, "This is all great.
Here in the room I understand it. But what about
when I'm home?" Well, then you're fucked, no ...
Audience: laughter
Ross: When you g o home there's some things you
can do. One of the things we can do now is we're
going to do an exercise that Brother Coby told me to
do. Which is we're going to pick a partner, and what
you're going to do is you're going to take that partner
and you're going to explain to them the structure of
how to generate patterns. You're going to teach your
partner what the specific steps are to generate a
pattern. You're not going, now listen. I'm not saying
go generate a pattern. I didn't say that. I said you're
90
going to pick a partner and teach your partner what
are the steps to generate a pattern. And then your
partner's going to turn around and teach you. Okay?
If you can teach someone else then you know you've
got it. So here's what we're going to do. Pick a partner
that you haven't worked with before. Those of you at
home, if you have a friend you can discuss speed
seduction with, you can do it with them or you can
imagine someone and explain it into a tape recorder.
All right? So what we're going to do is we're going to
pick a partner, someone you have not worked with
before, okay? And then what you're going to do is
you're going to explain to them the structure of how
you generate patterns. And I'm going to go over it
real quickly. What you do is, you ask yourself the
question, you pick a topic, and you say to yourself
what is it about this topic that really interests me?
Let's go back to that one. What's interesting about
this topic to me? And then you write that topic and
you write that thing down, whatever it is, and then
you ask the question how does that happen and that
generates the description.
Ross: That's the process, okay? So pick a partner. I
don't want you taking more than 10 minutes to do
this. Pick a partner, teach them and switch. The
distinction that you need to get is between the
content and the process. I wasn't asking you to spin a
pattern about fantasies, I was asking you to explain
the process of how you come up with a new pattern.
That's what I was asking you to do. To get the
distinction between process and content is a very
important one. I wasn't asking you to generate a
pattern on fantasy. I was saying what is the structure
for generating a pattern? Okay? Very good. I want to
talk a little bit, take a few minutes, I'm going to take, I'll
take _____ from here for a while. You know, it's a, it's
a funny thing that when people are locked in struggle
that if you come along and give them a way to get out
of struggle, they're so used to the struggle it feels
uncomfortable to let go of it. That, you know, if you
take a, an animal that's born in the wild but you get it
as a cub and you stick it in a cage ... Well, I remember
watching this show – this is not a pattern, this is true
- where they raised bear cubs from captivity. They
were in captivity as cubs and it came to release them
and they didn't want to leave the cage, they wouldn't
go. Cause the cage was what was familiar to them. So
some of you here are, are, I know, have a I can't have
that Ebin. Some of you here are familiar with an
identity, an identity that says you have to lose, you
have to have the pain of struggle, you have to be a
victim, et cetera et cetera et cetera. I'm here to tell you,
you're absolutely right. I'm not going to try to
dissuade you from being that because as long as you
believe that that's the way you have to be, you're
correct. The notion I want to present to you is that
beliefs have a tremendous amount of power, that's
there no difference in, and Major Mark will back me
up on this, there's no distinction in terms of its power
and its effect, between a belief that you hold deeply
and a hypnotic suggestion that's given to you in deep
trance that you suggest. They both work the same
way and they have the same power. That's why you
don't argue with people who have a belief. For
example, if someone were sitting in this chair and I or
Major Mark had them in deep trance and I gave them
the suggestion that it was absolutely freezing cold in
here, sub-zero temperature, and we would give them
that post-hypnotic suggestion that wh enever they
heard the word dingleberry they'd feel it freezing cold.
They would feel it. And you'd say to them, "Why are
you shivering like that? It's not cold in here.” You
could try to argue with them and it wouldn't go
anywhere. So the notion our society that once
something happens to you, you're stuck with it is a %,
cry powerful notion and it's a very destructive notion.
I know a lot of you have had things happen to you in
your past. I had a very bad past with females, okay?
The thing is this, is your past isn't who you are and
it's not what you deserve, it's just what happened.
The minute you can really understand that, step into
that, and lock into that, the minute you realize the past
isn't who you are or what you deserve, it's just what
happened, then you can let go of it. Okay? There's a
story about, you know, the story about the monkey
that was terrorizing the village. Very clever little
monkey. This was a hyper intelligent monkey, a very
mischievous monkey. He liked to do things like pee in
the village soup right before they had a community
dinner and, you know, he'd run around and one of the
village leaders would be giving a talk and he'd throw
his poop right in the face, and he was a very mean
little monkey, you know? People would be about to be
making love and he'd jump on their back and bite
them. And they were all just beside themselves cause
they could not catch this damn little monkey. So they
got together the best hunters in the village and they
said, "We're going to get this monkey.” So they laid a
trap, a very clever trap. They dug a pit and they
camouflaged it with leaves and they put the monkey's
favorite foods, bananas and nuts and all this other
stuff, and the monkey very cleverly was watching. So
he swang from the vine, swung from a vine, grabbed
all the food and got away. So they were beside
themselves, they didn't know what to do with this
monkey. He liked to go to the best looking women in
the village and drop his little monkey ding in front of
91
them, they were going bananas. What are they going
to do with this monkey? Well, one day a wizard
wanders into town and he notices the people are just
beside themselves and he said, "What's going on?"
They told the story about this monkey. He said,
"Really? Show me where the monkey hangs out.” So
they take the wizard to the village square and there's
the monkey looking at the wizard thinking, "Oh, here's
a new guy I can play with. What am I going to do with
this guy?" The wizard said, "What's the monkey
really like to eat?" They said, "He likes a certain kind
of nuts.” He said, "Get me great big old handful.” So
the wizard walks over to a tree with a hole in it, starts
throwing the nuts down into the hole, cause he can't
fit his hand into it, so he's pouring them in like that.
And the guy said, " What are you doing? He's going
to see them going into the tree. You're not going to
trick him.” The wizard, "Don't worry about it.” So as
soon as the wizard walks away the monkey comes
swinging down, runs up to the hole in the tree, sticks
in his hand and gets a great big huge fistful of these
nuts and he can't pull his hand out. And the wizard
said, "Excuse me, give me a machete.” The monkey
sees the wizard coming with the machete. He says,
"I'm not letting go of this fucking meal. This is mine.”
The wizard's getting closer and closer and the monkey
goes, "These are my nuts, dammit.” Well, that night
they dined on monkey-head stew and the wizard got
the best looking women in the village, and he began
to teach classes -how to kill monkeys. The moral of
the s tory is what you refuse to let go is what keeps
you stuck. Now, you can continue to be raging and
angry at all the women who ever fucked you over, but
guess what? You're like, don't be writing here ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Guess what? If that's what y ou want to do, you
walk around with your hand stuck inside a tree stump
and you won't go anywhere and someone's going to
cut your head off sooner or later. It's totally up to
you. Now unfortunately we live in a society where
there are certain belief patterns that people are taught
to take on. Now, I understand that sometimes horrible
things happen to people. People go through terrible
things, you know, the Holocaust. I have relatives who
are Holocaust survivors and some of them, totally
bent by it. Totally bent by it. Others, well, that
happened to me, that was then, this is now, I'm going
to have a ferocious determination to live a good life
no matter what happened to me. Because if you don't,
guess what happens? You make the people who hurt
you continue to be present and in control of your life,
even if they're long dead. So if that's what you want
to do, if you want to walk around being a victim,
congratulations. You can take it and you can keep it.
Because the fact of the matter is a victim is someone
who makes their oppressor very important. The victim
in effect makes the oppressor their god. Because if
you think of the god as the one thing that's the most
present in your life, spiritually, emotionally and
physically, well, in order to define yourself as a victim,
you have to constantly keep the oppressor around.
So congratulations, you're your own twisted kind of
Satan worshipper if that's the way you want to think.
Cause you make the person in your life who hurt you
the most the person who's most present. Sounds
pretty twisted to me. But we live in a society where
we're taught to think that way, where you're given
rewards for being a victim. I'll give you a story. This is
a story that's absolutely true. Who saw the movie
BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY? I met that little
prick. Yeah, I met him back when I was a UCLA
student in the late, early 80s. And he was in some
rally just, there was some rally, I forget what the
nature was, exactly what it was about, it was when the
hostages were taken in Iran. I'm showing you how old
I am. And the Young Republicans were there and the
Communists were up there making speeches and then
Ron Covick wheels up in his wheelchair. And he's
saying the exact same things that the speaker before
was getting heckled for. When the speake r before,
who could walk, was saying the same things, people
were screaming at him. But Ron Covick comes up and
saying the exact same bullshit and no one's saying a
word. And I walked up to him and I said, "You are a
fucking bully.” I said, "The fact that you're in that
wheelchair doesn't mean that what you're saying is
true and you're relying on the fact that we're taught
not to challenge people who have a handicap, and I
think you're a fucking bully and you should be
ashamed of your fucking self.” Then I walked away.
See, there's an advantage to being the victim. If you're
a victim, then people can't confront you, people can't
tell you to shut the fuck up and sit down. People can't
tell you pull your head out of your ass. Okay? So, if
you want to think of yourself in that way, "Women
were mean to me, ahhh, I'm too fat, or whatever" go
ahead. Cause guess what? I don't give a shit. It's not
that I don't have compassion that you went through
pain, but what I'm trying to say to you is the way
you're thinking about it is keeping you stuck. Now,
there are organizations in this society that teach us to
think that way. Step programs. I don't think too highly
of Step programs cause Step programs teach you that
this is who you are and you can never be healed from
it.
Audience: I'm a recovering alcoholic.
92
Ross: Right. That means that's who you always will
be and you will never be healed of it. It is who you
are, it's inherent in your soul and you will always be
that way. Okay?
Audience: Now, you can be a recovered alcoholic.
Ross: Ahhh, good. There's a distinction between the
two.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: That's, there's a distinction between the two
and an important one.
Audience: But aren't you still defining yourself as an
alcoholic if you say you're a recovered alcoholic?
Ross: Whether it's an alcoholic, a fartoholic or
anything else, my point in this room is this. That
whatever happened to you in your life, if you want to
hang on to it all it does is it keeps you there like the
monkey and the tree. Okay. Now later on in the
weekend I will present some processes to you that
you can choose to participate in or not. I don't care. If
you choose to participate in them, I can show you
how to let go of all that. So you don't have to think
about yourself that way anymore. If you don't want to
and you want to hang on to your victimhood, have a
party. Just don't wave it in my face cause I don't care.
Okay? Get it? Now, let's move on to something more
constructive, but it has to be said. Now, one of the
things I want to talk about is flexibility. Okay? Cause
flexibility is extremely important. Now, Brother Pelone,
will you come up here a minute?
Pelone: Sure.
Ross: This is my friend and also _____ brother,
Brother Pelone. Brother Pelone, sit down.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Now, I'm extremely fond of Brother Pelone
because first of all, he's extremely sincere. He's a really
good guy. He really wants to learn, he's very
open-minded and Brother Pelone is absolutely
fearless. Brother Pelone
Audience: Absolutely.
Ross: Absolutely. Brother Pelone sees women, it's
charge, assault that beach. Okay? Now here's the
thing though. Here's the thing that, I, I, I, I want to
give you some gifts. I want to add in some things for
you because you're, you're a good loyal Student, yes9
Pelone: Yes.
Ross: That's right. And he's also sort of like my
bodyguard, so, it's good to have him here. The thing
is this, is part of being good with these skills is the
ability to recognize what response you're getting.
Okay? If you walk up to a woman and you say to her,
"You know, I have this intuition that when you really
feel a connection with someone, " and she's going,
okay, that means she's not down with it and you have
to back off and do something else. So, on the one
hand, Pelone has some thing that I want you all to get,
which is lie's fearless. You charge forward, yes?
Pelone: Definitely.
Ross: Now, I'm Curious about something. When you
see a woman that you want to meet, what goes
through your head that allows you to just go
charging forward? Do you say something to yourself?
Do you do something with her image? What do you
do just before you charge forward?
Pelone: I see her and I say, "Oh, an opportunity.”
Ross: Oh, an opportunity.
Pelone: An opportunity to give someone my special
gift.
Ross: Ahhh. Now, that's something very interesting.
An opportunity to give someone my special gift.
Now, the concept I want to present to you is the gift
you want to give the person may not be the gift that
they're, at the moment, open to accepting. That, it's
okay to finally give them your special gift, but you
want to start out with the gift that they're able to
accept. And that requires that you take a second step,
which is, before you go charging, to look at the
person, to open you intuition, and I'll show you how
to do that, and go, hmmm, who is that person and
what are they telling about themselves? And to allow
that to guide what your next step is going to be. Now,
some of you who are, who used to be so into
hesitation need to take on his strategy. But for
someone like this who's fearless in the first place, you
need to add in an intuition step first.
Pelone: That's correct.
Ross: Okay. He's a marine, he's not afraid, right? I
mean they charge you, they, don't they teach you ...
Pelone: I was brainwashed.
Ross: Ha, ha. He was in a ...
Pelone: It's the truth. He's a recovering marine.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: He's a recovering marine. Well, what did they
brainwash you to go ...
Audience: Laughter
93
Ross: What did they, what did they brainwash you to
believe?
Pelone: They brainwashed me to believe that when I
hear an order I respond without hesitation.
Ross: But, no one's giving you an order when you're
there seeing an h. b. , so what do you ...
Pelone: I give myself the order.
Ross: You give yourself the order. Okay. Now listen
to me. There's a difference between responding to an
internal order and being drawn forward by something
that you're perceiving and connecting with.
Pelone: Okay.
Ross: Okay? I want you to sit a minute and think
about that distinction. There's a distinction between
being, charging forward based on an order you give
yourself and being drawn forward by someone you're
perceiving and what you perceive that person to be.
Because one allows a connection to happen first
before you take action. The other is totally generated
by yourself That can work for you, it will get you
going quicker the way you're doing things, but it may
get you going in situations where the person is just
totally closed off to any communication, Not because
they have anything against you, it's just who they, in
the moment, they can be in that mood. And even if
someone is in that mood, okay, if you look at a woman
and your intuition tells you she's closed off right now,
that doesn't mean you don't approach. It means you
approach differently. So, let's say you're reading,
there's a woman in front of you ...
Pelone: Okay
Ross: You go a little intuitive. I'm going to show you
guys how to do this, okay? And your intuition says,
"Okay, she's open, happy, ready to meet people.”
Then it's okay to go up. What's your standard
meeting, greeting when you go up to talk a woman?
Like at that bar, the Friday's yesterday, what did you
say to her?
Pelone: I just walked up and said hello.
Ross: Just hello.
Pelone: Hello and I introduced myself and I asked her
where's a good place to go hang out and have fun. I'm
from out of town.
Ross: Good. Okay. Cool. Okay. Great. Okay. What if
there's, you could insert a step where you look at the
woman, you go into this intuitive state and you sort
of reach out and feel her with your hand and go,
"Hmmm, what's her energy like?" And then you say
to yourself, "Okay, granted that she's feeling a little
bitchy or she's a little cold, put her on.” Then to the
extent you see s omeone who's really closed, (noise in
background), oh, my agent.
?: Yes? I'm _____
Ross: Out to smoke, tell a dirty joke, and whistling is
prohibited. Anyone know that song?
Audience: No.
Ross: No one's allowed to tell a dirty joke, when
Groucho was appointed head of a country, Chris you
should know this, you're a comedy writer. Do you
know that movie? Duck Soup?
Chris: Yeah.
Ross: If any form is pleasure is exhibited report to me
and it will be prohibited. I'll put my foot down, so shall
it be. Okay?
Audience: Question from audience
Ross: Yes, and by the way, if you really want to build
a sense of humor, rent, go out and buy all the Jerky
Boy CDs.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: And before you out _____ , listen to them. Yes,
Brother _____ .
Audience: Do you have, do know of any resources,
books or anything about that, about how to develop
Ross: I don't think books are the best way to develop
a sense of ...
Audience: smiling ...
Ross: No
Audience, _____
Ross: No
Audience: _____
Ross: No. Go and get Jerky Boy CDs, the Jerky Boys,
what's up there fruitcake? And you also want to rent
some Marx Brothers movies. You gotta rent Duck
Soup, where Groucho becomes the head of a country.
And he's like the most corrupt politician that could
possibly be. The country's taxes must be fixed and I
know what to do with it. You think this country's bad
off now just wait till I get through with it. Da da da ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: He's just boldly proclaiming bow he's destroy
the entire country and you know screw everybody.
94
Audience: _____ to that, a particular movie is that it
still, we still have those guys in society, the guy
Ross: Well, what are you talking about? No we don't.
Monica, pick up. Hello.
Audience: Laughter. Yes we do.
Ross: No we don't. Monica.
Audience: I swear Ross.
Ross: I'll slur, do his voice, you do it well, do it.
Audience: We do not have those type of people in
this country.
Ross: Say, he's doing endorsement for me. Hi, this is
Bill Clinton and
Audience: This is Bill Clinton-,
Ross: Had I had speed seduction I wouldn't have had
to do that intern.
?: That was one of Ross' first students that I have to
say.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
?: His latest class has been such a help to me,
Ross & Audience: Laughter
?: I could have a group of interns walking by my
office and have one of them on their knees and
sucking my dick in minutes.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Thank you Bill.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Say hello to the president.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: That's very good. Okay.
?: _____ that's not an impeachable offense.
Ross: Not impeachable.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: That's really cool. We should have, you know
what? After hours, we should have his voice "You
have reached Bill representing Ross Jeffries.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "I used his stuff and wow, he sort of ...”
Audience: Responses from audience, yeah, yeah
there you go.
Ross: What?
?: I'm on Air Force One with Bon's Yeltsin actually
getting a woman
Ross &Audience: Laughter
?: He never stops before ...
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: You know, the other day I had, oh, never mind.
We're not going to go there. Okay. Very good, very
funny. Wow, you do better voices than the Rolling
Stone reporter did. Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I want to talk a little bit about sub-modalities.
There's a big mystery about sub-modalities and what
they are and all this other stuff. It's very simple. The
notion I want to present to you and look up here, you
can write later. This is in your notes so you can write
later. The notion I want to present to you is this. The
notion I want to present to you is that people don't
just have thoughts. The thoughts that people have
subjectively have locations. Just as an example, this is
not, now please, this is only an example, it is not a
rule. For the most part, when people visualize
something, they tend to think about the things that
are really important to them, real big right in the
center. If something is less important they tend to
picture it down here in a comer. Okay? Generally
speaking this is only an example, it is not a rule, okay?
Generally speaking as something becomes less
important to them it gets smaller and further away. Do
you understand? So they think of someone who's
really important, as that person becomes less
important the picture gets further away and smaller.
Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Okay. These are just general ideas, I'm not
saying everyone is this way. Some people are
different, okay? Now, this is also useful for you in
building a powerful self-image. So let me show you
how we do this. We're going to do a little exercise.
This requires you to take all notes and all writing
instruments, for the moment, and put them on the
floor. Just for the moment. Just for the moment. And
this is a participatory exercise, it's not about
intellectual understanding so you have to do the
exercise to get the benefit. Okay? Fair enough?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: All right. So, remember I talked to you
yesterday about picture in a picture?
Audience: yes
95
Ross: That sort of thing? Okay? We're going to do
some things sort of like that. By the way, who's the
person who before he came in yesterday had trouble
visualizing? How are you doing, bow are you doing
with that now?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Ha, ha, ha. Good.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Part of visualizing, part of visualizing is
knowing when to turn it off. So, if you were to reach
up, watch this, if you were to reach up to that dial that
controls the brightness of an image, I don't know
what side is that dial on?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: And reach up, put your hands on it, what
direction do you turn it to turn the brightness down?
That's right. Turn the brightness all the way down.
Now, can you see it? That's right. Now turn the
brightness up.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Isn't that weird? It's on my nose? Ahhhhh.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: That's pretty easy. Learn to play with your own
dials. By the way, I say this to chicks. I say, "You
know that dial that controls the speed at which
pictures are, " here's the story. True story. This was
years ago, early in my career. I was sitting at a party
trying to seduce this woman and she said, "Well, you
know, I'm pretty uptight about, about these things. I'm
Catholic and I suffer from obsession.” I said, I said,
"No, you mean, you mean, depression.” And she
said, "No, obsession. I have all these thoughts
running around in my head.” And so I grabbed her
arm, I said, "Start taking those pictures that you're
seeing ...” She's describing what her pictures were
doing, she had pictures running around like this. I
said, "Take those pictures you're seeing and start
doing them in the opposite direction.” So she did.
And I said (sneezes), excuse me, nothing to sneeze at
here. I said, they were spinning in the opposite
direction, I said, "Slow them down. Now take them
and move them out in front of you like an accordion
and look at all of them. I want you to reach out and to
do look at each one and if it's something you believe,
Is the put it back up there. If it's not something that
you really want to have in your life, throw it down at
your feet.” So she went into trance and she was doing
this for 15 minutes. And I was going, "No, stay away
from her.” She came out and she said, "Oh my god.
I'm not Catholic any more.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Wooo. So cool.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Now please, if you're Catholic, I'm not, you
know, Ave Maria, I'm not knocking you or anything.
I'm just talking about the fact that, that if you tell
people to do things with their pictures, they do it. I, in
fact, I've even asked, I reached out and grabbed her
hand and said, "Now move them the other way.”
Okay? Another girl. I said, well she told me that she
was having trouble concentrating. I could tell the
trouble was she, her pictures were going by too fast. I
said, "You know that knob that controls the speed at
which your pictures go by?" And she, and I, and I, I
showed her what I wanted to do. I said, "If you were
to reach out and grab hold of it, where is it?" She
reached out and grabbed hold of it. I said, "Now what
direction do you turn it to slow those down?" And
she went like this. I don't say "can you see the knob,
" I said, "you know that knob.” And they just go right
on with you, oh yeah, sure.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's that simple. Now, you, you guys don't
believe me yet, but you'll, you try this and they'll go,
"oh, yeah, sure.” It's that simple. Okay, so look. So I
want you to, close your eyes. Now some people
visualize better with their eyes open, by the way,
whatever you want to do. But I, let's just for this
purpose you close your eyes, okay? What I want you
to do is see that great big movie screen in your mind.
If you don't see the screen, imagine a frame or imagine
you can see a screen. I want you to stop and think do
you believe the sun is going to come up tomorrow?
As you believe the sun is going to come up
tomorrow, as you make an image of the sun coming
up tomorrow, you believe this. Say, "Yes, the sun will
come up tomorrow.” I want you to take your finger,
literally take your finger and point to where on the
screen you see that image. And with your hands, I
want you to take your hands and draw a frame around
the side of that picture. Okay? Now, I'm learning a lot
from watching people. I'm going to fuck someone up
good.
Audience: laughter
Ross: I'm going to have a victim coming up that I'm
going to play with. Okay. That's a nice star sapphire,
by the way. It's a beautiful ring. Okay. Now I want
you to remember this. What I want you to do is I want
you to imagine you got some liquid paper. You know
96
what white-out is, liquid paper? That's what blondes
use when they're on your computer screen and they
make a mistake?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? I want you to take some liquid paper and
literally, with your hand, imagine you're whiting out
that image of the sun coming up with that liquid
paper. Take your hand ... It's important that you wire it
in with your physiology. Are you having a challenge
with this? That's right. Okay? Just white it out. There
you go. What?
Audience: I have a problem with getting images that
are clear but they, they flee as soon as I concentrate
Ross: Slow them down.
Audience: They go away.
Ross: Well, reach out in your hand for the control
knob that stops them. Close your eyes, see an image.
Where's the knob of the control that makes images
stay? Here's what you do. Attach a rubber band to
the comers of the image, so the more it tries to pull
away, the more it snaps right back right in front of
you.
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: We're going to call this your "uh huh box.”
Ready? Ross & Audience: Uh huh.
Ross: And that's the place where you think about the
things you absolutely expect are going to happen. Uh
huh.
Audience: Uh huh
Ross: Notice what it's like is an image of you buying
more and more of my products sneaks itself ... no.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Just kidding, Just kidding. I'm not going to do
it. Okay. Now, put your hands down. Now we're going
to pick another place. I want you to think about
something that used to be true about you b ut no
longer is. Like, for example, in my case, I used to be six
feet tall, 125 pounds. Okay? I used to be rail, stick
skinny. So think about something about yourself that
used to be true but no longer it is, no longer is. I know
a person that used to be u ltra religious and now
they're a free thinker or whatever you want to call it.
So, something like that. Pick something that doesn't
have a lot of, that's mild. Think about something that
used to be true that no longer is and notice where you
see that image. Notice where on the movie screen you
see that. It could be anything. Maybe you used to like
hot dogs but now you can't stand them. Okay?
Everyone's had that experience of liking a certain food
when they kids, but now they won't go near it. I used
to not to like to drink wine but now I'm learning to
enjoy . That's weird. Okay? You got that? Point to
where you see it, And notice the difference between
the location and the size. Put a frame around the size
of it. Okay, this is simple. Okay. Now what I want you
to do is white that one out. You got it? We're going to
call that "uh uh.” Okay, point at it and go uh uh.
Audience: Uh uh.
Ross: All right. Good. Now we're going to do
something. Okay? Point again to the uh huh space.
Audience: Uh huh
Ross: Uh huh
Audience: Uh huh
Ross: And notice what it's like as an image of you
really understanding all the speed seduction attitudes
goes right into that place. I want you to point to that,
that, that place, seeing that image of you, the new
you. This is the you who understands that being with
you is the best possible thing that could happen to a
woman. If you're not pointing to the space, you're not
doing the exercise.
Audience: Which
Ross: The uh huh. Yeah.
Ross & Audience: Uh, huh
Ross: Close your eyes and point to the uh huh space.
Close your eyes and point to the uh huh space.
Audience: I'm confused.
Ross: Okay, I know you are. You know that space in
your mind where you think about where the sun's
going to come up? Yeah, close your eyes and point to
that. I want you to see the image of the you who
really understands the speed seduction attitudes and
not just understands them, but lives and breathe
them. This is the you who believes, who knows that
being with you is the best possible thing that could
happen to a woman. This is the you who has the
attitude that always call a woman on her bullshit. This
is the you who gives a woman just a little bit of what
she wants and then pulls away and makes her work
for more. Is there a reason you're not doing the
pointing? You need to point. If you don't point, it's
not wired in to your neurology. Point. Do it. Okay?
This is you who always demonstrates that willingness
to walk away. This is the you who never supplicates
only structures opportunities and offers challenges.
97
Okay? Why don't you just take a deep breath, and
then through your lips blow the breath out into that
image and see the breath going out golden. And fill
that image up with a gold color. Take another deep
breath and do it again. Now what I want you to do is
with both hands, with both hands, reach out for that
image, grab a hold of it and pull it down on top of
yourself. And now, keeping your eyes closed and
hanging on to that feeling, I want to tell you a story.
It's a story about something that happened to me one
morning just before I woke up during our Bahama
Seminar. Now the Bahama Seminar was a wonderful
experience for me cause it was 7 days on being, of
being on intuition autopilot. And I had a dream that
morning that I shared with the class. And the dream
was I was standing in a garden looking at a painter
and a sculptor. And they were talking about how they
do their respective things. And the painter said to the
sculptor, "How in the world do you take that block of
rock, cause you were standing in front o f huge block
of stone, and carve something out of it?" And the
sculptor says, "I don't.” He said, "The statue is
already alive inside the rock waiting to come out. All I
do is chip away at what doesn't belong and chisel and
refine what's already there.” So, if you were, begin to
understand that it's not that you become a speed
seducer, rock by rock, the way they build a pyramid
but instead you already are that and now all you have
to do is take the tools we're giving you today, today,
yesterday, today, tomo rrow and throughout the rest
of your life and chip away what doesn't belong,
eliminate what no longer fits, and chisel and refine
what's already there. So that each time you use these
tools, consciously or unconsciously, you're
continuing to refine the person that you're becoming.
Because I used to believe that you build the future
one step at a time. But I no longer believe that. I've
come to believe that the future is like an infinite
number of railroad tracks. There are infinite number of
possible definite destination. And what happens is
what you believe is possible for yourself, what you
believe you deserve at the deepest levels, determines
which future you're going to experience. And then
that future reaches back through time and shapes you
and molds you into being the kind of person who's
ready for it the day you meet it. So tonight when you
sleep and dream and you dream the dreams of the
sculptor instead of the dreams of the pyramid builder,
by the way, can you imagine hiring Jews to do manual
labor? The Pharaoh should have had them keeping
his books instead of out there, you know, toting
bricks.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's bad management strategy. Tonight as you
sleep and dream, tonight as you sleep and dream,
tonight as you sleep and dream, I don't know if you'll
see that image of the statue gradually emerging from
the stone. But what I want you to do is open your
eyes, look up here, stretch yourselves. Stand up, do a
little toney thing, like aaahhhhhh.
Audience: Aaaahhhhhhh
Ross: _____ , stretch yourself
Audience: Just as long as you
Ross: No, no, no, no, no one touches each other in
my seminar.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Sit down, please.
Audience: Pee break.
Ross: You need a pee break? Does someone need a
pee break?
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: Mark likes to hammer on it. I think it's very
important. I know some of you are, "Ross, where do I
start?" Okay? How do I know which pattern to use
under which circumstances? And rather than just
throw you to the wolves and go just try it, I want to
give you some clues as to how to do that. I think that
only fair and part of my obligation as a teacher. Okay?
Yes?
Audience: Yes
Ross: You don't want to know? Let me see, before I
do that, there's some people I need to pick on. You're
all right. I was going to pick on you for something,
but, yeah, come up here. I'm going to pick on you. Go
ahead and tape this, We may decide to cut it out later,
but go ahead and tape it as a record of my work. Sit
down here. And I'm going to pick on you. Yeah, you.
You, don't look away, yeah, you.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: That doesn't work. I like picking on people
cause I'm a hostile son of a bitch. I figure, since I'm
going to be hostile, I may as well channel it in the
right direction and use it to attack people's problems. I
think that's, of course, sometimes people don't want
me to bring up the fact that they have problems and
then we get into it, but ... We're going to pick on you
guys a little bit. Now, one of the things I want to
teach you how to do, and then we'll keep, we can
record this for my own purposes but I don't want it on
the course. I want to teach you guys how to do some
98
perceiving. Another way to open up you intuition is
to look at things peripherally. So take a glance at the
person straight on and then look away and look
peripherally to see what's out of the comer of your
and tell, and see what that tells you. Okay? Now, look
at me Just for a second. Hmmm, let me ask you a
question. I'm just curious. What's up with, are you,
when you look at yourself in the mirror, are you aware
that your eyes are like ... What's, I want you to
imagine something for me. Close your eyes a minute
and imagine something that would put you in stark
raving terror and then show me the expression you
have with your eyes.
Audience: About the same
Ross: About the same. Okay. Alright. So, I have some
intuitions about him.
Mark: Here's a clue.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: There's a clue. Okay. Alright. I'm going to have
some fun with him. We're going to fuck with him.
Then play around with him and see how he's
structured in his head. I don't know why I'm doing
this, but for some intuition ...
Yates: This is the end of Side 9 of the Ross Jeffries
Speed Seduction Seminar
(JME – Checked)
99
Tape 5 – Side 2
Yates: Welcome to Side 10 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: Was it the further away something gets the
smaller it becomes, subjectively speaking? I want,
why don't you just close your eyes. I want you to
imagine a very pleasant scene, okay? What I want
you to do is as you push it away from you make it
bigger. So push it across and make it bigger so the
further away it gets the bigger it becomes.
Audience: That's hard to do.
Ross: I know. Do it. Close your eyes and do it. Okay.
Now I want you to reverse it. Take something that's
big across the room, close your eyes, pull it towards
you but make it smaller, so the closer it gets to you
the smaller it is. Now push it away and make it bigger.
That's very uncomfortable isn't it? Disorienting?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Okay. Now open your eyes. Okay. Whoa, whoa
leave me a little bit. Okay. Now here's what I want you
to do. I want you to see an image of something. Close
your eyes. Pick something mildly unpleasant, I mean
mildly. I mean really mild like maybe you didn't even
stub your toe, you grazed it. Okay? I want you to see
an image of that and what I want you to do is push it
away from you and the further away it gets the smaller
it gets, till it collapses to a dot across the room, and
hold it there. And now that it's all the way out there,
what I want you to do is, you ever see the, keep your
eyes closed, you ever see Mr. Fantastic from the
Fantastic Four? He was the guy who could stretch,
you know, they had that rocky guy, and a human
torch, the invisible woman. Then they had the guy
who could stretch his arm ...
Audience: Oh, Plastic Man.
Ross: Well, he's the Marvel Comics equivalent of
Plastic Man, sure. What I want you to do is now that
you see that unpleasant thing across the room like
maybe the size of a postage stamp, extend your Mr.
Fantastic arm, you can hear the sound, rrrrrrrr, and
just put the tip of your finger into it to get just a little
bit of what the in that experience was. Okay? Now pull
your hand back but leave the feeling there. Okay? All
right. Now. Good. Now what I want you, look at the
image again the size of a postage stamp; drop it
through the floor. And as you drop it through the
floor, I don't want you to drop
through any faster than you can allow all unpleasant
feelings associated with it to detach. So as the picture
goes through the floor the feelings go flying away
into space. Can you do that? All right. Now, look at
me for a minute. We're going to do something real
fast. You ever see a toaster? You ever see a toaster
that has too strong a spring so that when the toast is
ready is goes, fffft. You ever do that with a piece of
toast as a kid? When I was a kid we didn't have toys, I
played with the toaster, the vacuum cleaner. ”Hey
Mom, watch. It's a toast launching contest.” Fffft,
fffft, up goes the toast
Mom's hand. It's time to hit me in the face just as the
toast hits the carpet.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: The woman had reflexes that Sugar Ray
Leonard and Muhammad All would've ... So, you
know how that happens? Something goes fffft.
Audience: Uh hmmm.
Ross: Okay? You know how that works?
Audience: Uh hmmm.
Ross: It just pops up. So, close your eyes. So, let's do
this thing again where you take a mildly unpleasant
thing, you push it away. Just touch a little bit of it,
drop it through the floor only as fast as the feelings
go flying off into space. Okay? Do it again, one more
time. Do it real fast. Okay, good. Now, close your
eyes. Now I don't know, I'm guessing here, I'm _____
, it may not be a fact at all. It may not be. But you
know if you would imagine a toaster, but inside that
toaster, rather the toaster's an image, there's an image
on the unconscious level you can been sort of
suppressing. But when I do this, it's going to pop up,
you'll see what it was that caused that kind of
stark-raving terror and then immediately you'll do this
with it. You know what that means, that you're
supposed to do with it?
Audience: Push it away.
Ross: Okay. And drop it and do the rest of it, okay?
So, I want you to, you take your, this hand, push
down on the toaster handle, so when I touch you here
the image is going to pop up. You understand? Fffft,
sssss.
Audience: I didn't get an image.
Ross: Okay. That's okay. There may not be anything
there. I'm just guessing. I could be absolutely wrong.
I've been wrong before. No problem. Okay. That may
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be just the way your eyes look. It could be you; it
could be you have a thyroid condition?
Audience: No
Ross: No? It's just your eyes.
Audience: No, not that I know of.
Ross: It's just your eyes. Yeah? Could be, I don't
know. I'm just playing with him, I'm not always right. I
test an intuition and it doesn't work then I throw it
away. All right. Go sit down. I don't have any problem
with that.
Audience: Thank you. Applause
Ross: Although some of you may have unconscious
minds that have unpleasant images that may find
yourself when you sleep tonight doing identical
process. Cause whether it works with John or not,
someone in the room can borrow it and use it. Okay?
Now, we're going to deal with you.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: He's going, "When is he going to get to me?" I
have a sense, I'm not sure about this. I may be wrong
again. I want you to stop and think about something
you know is going to happen, something you truly
expect is going to happen. Close your eyes. Point to
your uh huh space, where's your uh huh space? Uh
huh, ah right. And I want you to draw a picture
around the size of that.
Audience: Around the size of it?
Ross: Yeah, the size of the uh huh space. Wow, what
a huge sense of possibility you have in life. He's
spent a lot of the time being very motivated and
charging forward?
Audience: No.
Ross: No. Hmmm. So, would it be safe to say you
have a, your sense of what's possible for you in your
life is sort of limited?
Audience: Ah, in some ways, yeah.
Ross: Yeah, in some ways. Ah, what does that imply?
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Yeah. So, let's find a resource here. Rather than
look at the problem, let's find the resource. Well, I
want you to think of a place in your life where you
don't have a problem. Where your sense of possibility
in life is not limited. Okay? As you think about
something that's possible in that part of your life,
point to where you see that image. Now, there you go.
Okay. That, you drew a frame around it but that'll
work. Okay. So what would it be like if every part of
your life you were able to see that same sense of
possibility in that same place, same size, same
location? What would have to happen on the inside
in order for you to do that, such that when I said to
you, "Think about the possibility of really having all
these skills, notice what it's like as an image of that
sneaks right into that place, here, and locks itself ...”
What's the sound of the Tupperware lid locking
down? Okay? Now, how does that feel?
Audience: Bigger
Ross: Bigger. Yeah. Uh, hmmm. Now you might think
to yourself, "But what if it goes back?" You might
think that. You might think you might think that. But
notice the more it tries to go back, it's like there's
elastic attached to the back of it so it just come s right
back, and stays in that big place. Now, I don't want
this to take place any faster than you take any
experiences in your past that might have interfered or
interrupted or contradicted this and toss them into the
trash. You know, like when, you have a Mac or an
IBM? You have a computer?
Audience: No.
Ross: Oh, okay. You have trash in your house?
Audience: Uh, hmmm.
Ross: You have a trash compactor?
Audience: No. Ross: You ever see one?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Imagine you have one in your mind. And all
those limiting beliefs, all the things your folks or your
family might have told you, all the snippets of bullshit
you picked up go right into that trash compactor. And
you don't push the button, you kick it with your foot.
Kick it with your foot, kick the on button. Compact it
into a little tiny pellet, drop it into a fiery pit, that leads
straight into the mind of someone you really don't
like. So all those limits go into their brain, from the
base of their spine, travel up their spine and explode
in their brain, and you give them your limits. In fact,
for those of you who have been really hurt in your
life, what if you took all the crap in your life, all of it,
all the bad beliefs, all the self-hatred and you
compacted it into a cube and, since you can't get rid
of it, since your belief is it must be there, send it into
the person you hate the most. See it going right from
the base of their spine, up into their brain, expanding,
taking on three dimension powerful life. So, good,
give your crap to somebody else.
Audience: Response from audience
101
Ross: Huh?
Audience: You, too, can be an S. O. B.
Ross: That’s right. Why not? And why not be an S.
O. B. to someone who really deserves it?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: You can be their misery factory. Instead of
being your own misery factory, pass the favor on.
Rather than having to do all the crappy things to
someone, just put your own crap in their head. Save
yourself time. All right. Open your eyes. Now, I want
you to think about the possibility of really having
mastery of these skills, say two to three months down
the line. As you, as you look at that, point to where
you see it. Point to where you see it.
Audience: Point to where I think it is?
Ross: Yeah. And draw an image, draw a frame around
the size of it. That's pretty good. Oh, yeah, you're
right. Okay. My intuition just spoke to me. Okay, go
have a seat. Now, we're going to do something else,
one more exercise. Again we should keep this off the,
the tapes because ...
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: Brother _____ or Brother Orion, which do you
prefer?
Audience: Brother Orion.
Ross: Brother Orion, come up. Let me mike you.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Let me give you my mike. No, take this one so
your hands free. Now, Brother Orion is quite an
interesting guy. When did you come to the first
seminar in Cancun this last year or Chicago?
Brother Orion: One year ago. That's right.
Ross: Right?
Brother Orion: That's right. You want me to tell you
what happened after that seminar? That two days
afterward?
Ross: Yeah, here's what I want you to talk about. Talk
about your initial, talk about that ...
Brother Orion: Okay.
Ross: I don't want you to talk about this. I want you
to take them from start to finish, from when you first
meet a woman, to specific, what specifically you say,
all the way to the point where she, you do the initial
closing. Okay?
Brother Orion: That could take an hour.
Ross: Can you teach for an hour?
Brother Orion: You bet I can.
Ross: All right. I want you to do it ...
Brother Orion: But I'm going to tell you, I'm going to
focus mainly, like you said, on, on openings and
closings.
Ross: Openings and closings.
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Ross: So you know, and then I'm going to come back
and I want to talk about, someone throw me a, what
did we, did I misplace all those things already?
Mark: Markers?
Ross: Marker. I want to talk about context. What
context to use which patterns in. Context, so, let's say
you've already met her. Just meeting, in person,
_____ , would that be useful?
Audience: Yeah.
Brother Orion: You bet.
Ross: So we, so we could lay out to you which, what
to do with each context? Yes?
Audience: Yes
Ross: But, I want you now to give, now here's what I
want Brother Orion to talk. He has a different style of
doing this, he's taken speed seduction and adapted it
in the field to his own unique personality, his own
unique needs, want he wants, what he likes, so I want
you to talk _____ about what happened as soon as
you left that seminar. And then, _____ let's give a big
hand for Brother Orion.
Audience: Applause
Brother Orion: Thank you. Alright. Alright. Well, I
want, I want to let you know, a few of you guys were
there, right after the seminar about a year ago, when
we went across the street, you remember Yates, to the
TGIF and there was that cute girl sitting at the end
bar? We're all thinking about going over and talking
to her? I just jumped right into it. You know, a lot of
the lines I first thought were corny, you start to say
them and you get these great responses. And I, you
know, it's sort of like marketing. If you've got a
marketing letter that works, you know, why are you
going to change it? Why are you going to try, you
know, besides tweaking it a little bit, why are you
going to try throw it out and throw somethin g new in?
If it works, I'll use it a hundred times. No problem. You
102
know, just because you've used it on a hundred
different women doesn't mean that this woman knows
that, you know, its ever been said before to anyone.
And even if she does, part of what you do in the intro
is you set a context for the whole conversation. Now,
some people talk a lot about, sort of like an
environmental pace, where you say, "Ah, isn't it
beautiful weather here" or we're both here at this
restaurant and you talk about the environment around
you. Now that's a great way to get into a friendly
conversation, but it's a shitty way to start a
seduction. I think. It works for some people, but for
me I want to let the person know, at least to a certain
extent, what I'm about from the very beginning and a
line is great to do that. So I went up to her, I said
something about her just being a shining example of
genetic perfection. And she was loving it, she had
three guy friends who were sitting down the bar but I
had her attention wrapped, started giving her a
massage. She started to have a couple of drinks, a few
drinks, and I knew, I knew she was going to be
drinking so "I don't want to talk to a girl when she's
drinking.” You know, I knew she was going to have a
few more drinks. I wanted to get out of there, close, I
got a date to meet her, a time, an address.
Ross: All right, Ben, you need to, you know, I'm sorry,
Orion.
Brother Orion: Yes.
Ross: Orion. Brother Orion. Orion, so we can cut that.
Brother Orion: ... was a shining examp le of genetic
perfection and I had to come over and tell you that.
Ross: Say it the way you would say it if she were
actually here.
Brother Orion: I said, okay, I went up to her and I said,
"Amy, ...
?: _____ , music on.
Brother Orion: Cut, okay.
Ross: Cut.
Brother Orion: I went up to her, I went up to this girl
in this bar right after the seminar, this was half an
hour after the seminar was over, this gorgeous six
foot tall, very slender girl with a stylish hair cut, and I
went up to her and I said, "Pardon me, I have just got
to tell you, you are a shining example of genetic
perfection.” She said, "Thank you.” I said, "You
know, have you ever had your handwriting
analyzed?" And for anybody who hasn't seen this,
this is your, you ever see the movie WILLIE
WONKA? Where they have the golden ticket?
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: The handwriting analysis deck is your
golden ticket to getting laid, I'm telling you guys. And
it does more than that. It makes the whole much more
interesting, it makes a learning experience for you.
You have a lot of fun doing it.
And I, I have adapted it some to, including patterns
while I actually do the handwriting analysis.
Ross: Okay. So what specifically did you say when
you closed her?
Brother Orion: So, okay, then I went through the
handwriting analysis. Now the reason I want to talk
about openings and closings is that, is most of the
weekend is structured to learning how to do these
patterns, how to talk to women, and I figure once you
get a, this skillset down, that, the meat of it, you
know, the center of it will, will be stuff that you can
do. You can, you can riff on these themes, you can
use the memorized patterns, which I absolutely do
and I recommend, but it's the openings and the
closings that are really going to set the context and
close the deal. And, so when I close the deal, I said to
her, "You know, I would love to have a chance to get
to talk to you another time when there aren't so many
distractions and, " you know, something along the
lines of "get to know the inner you is as beautiful as
the outer one.” And she said, ...
Ross: Now, that sounds like a compliment but is, it is,
it's also a challenge.
Brother Orion: It Is a challenge. That's right. And I'll
tell you, a lot of these, a lot of these pickup lines I
hear them straight out of Ross' mouth and I think I'm
going to go out and try this out and see what
response it gets. The patterns, the same way. I don't
care if it's not my original words. If it works, if it gets a
response, you know, why should I have to reinvent
the wheel when you've done so much work to make
stuff that really works straight out of the box.
Ross: Well, the other thing is pioneers wind up with
arrows in their backs.
Brother Orion: That's right. But there's things I'm
willing to try and pioneer, you know. I will, I will try
things that are new and, and I've been trying a lot of
things new with closes but I'm going to get into, it's
just, more recently since last year. She got, okay, so
this was, what we got a meeting for Wednesday.
Tuesday night I went out to the same coffee shop I
was supposed to meet her at, 1: 30 at the morning, in
the morning, coffee shop closes at 2: 00. This
gorgeous girl comes up, I had to try this line, I said, I
103
said, "Pardon me, forgive me for interrupting you. I'm
sure that I've seen you before. I remember it now. I
was reading a book on angels and it had your face on
the cover.” And she backed away a moment. And I
thought oh, I blew it, you know, last chance to talk to
a girl tonight. And then she moved forward and said,
"Thank you.” I said, "Have you ever had your
handwriting analyzed?" She said, "No.” I said, "I'll tell
you what. Why don't we sit down for a cup of coffee?
Half an hour later, sure enough, the coffee shop is
closing, but I had already done these patterns on her,
the blamo pattern, the bj pattern, I'd really gotten her
going. I'd started doing a massage on her in the coffee
shop. And I said, "Listen, if I were to ask you back to
my place, would you come with me?" Thank you very
much, Major Mark. And she did and within two hours
...
Ross: "If I were to ask you, if I were to ...” Do you
hear the weasel phrase? That, write that down on a,
do you have, Orion, Orion, cut. Orion, write that
down, Orion ...
Brother Orion: I don't write very well.
Ross: Write that down "if I were to ask you, if I were
to ...” Do you see the weasel phrase there? Do you
see how it's beginning "If I were to ask you back to
my place, would you come with me?"
Audience: Response from audience, laughter.
Ross: A lot better than "You want to come back to my
place?"
Brother Orion; So, what I want to add to this, this is
the, this is the, at the time it was the best-looking girl I
had been with. She had a gorgeous body, she was a
really lovely, wonderful person to spend a couple of
hours with.
Ross: Response from Ross Brother Orion: Would you
come with me back to my place - I should write this
down - to my place ...
Ross: So you got her back to your place and then
what?
Brother Orion: And then, I, I basically got right into
giving her a massage and while I'm giving her
massage, I'm running patterns on her, I'm reading her
my poems, ...
Audience: Where did you give her the massage?
Brother Orion: On my bed.
Audience: On your bet
Brother Orion: On my bed.
Audience: Oh, on your bed.
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Audience: Laughter. What part of her body?
Brother Orion: Oh, on her back, on her back. Yeah.
Audience: On her back.
Brother Orion: You know, one of the things that I
think I don't necessarily know that it, oh, in, in the
restaurant, I'll massage her shoulders in the coffee
shop. I think it might, there might be a value, there's
different ways to play this, to massage and lay back.
Don't get sexual while you're massaging her. Give her
massage, give her a chance to just feel good and that
you're not coming on to her and then go in for it.
There's other ways to do it. If you're, if you're getting
a really strong response, you can go directly physical
without that.
Ross: Like she turns over and takes off her shirt and
says, "Would you do my front?"
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Green light.
Brother Orion: Green light. Or if she,
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: If she gives you this look afterwards
with glazed eyes and slightly puffy lower lip and that
just looks like, ummm, that look you love to get, you
know. So within two hours of meeting her, bam, we're
going at it.
Ross: Now ...
Brother Orion: Wednesday ...
Ross: Now, hang on. Did she give, offer any verbal
resistance as you were going at it.
Brother Orion: This particular one, no. That, at, at the
Palo Alto seminar, that was a very interesting case of,
of some verbal resistance that I continued to
overcome because she had obviously wanted, she, a
lot of times a woman will want you to expand her
model of the world enough so that she can do what
she really wants to do.
Ross: So resistance is not really resistance, it's a
quest, it's a request for assistance in surrendering to
you.
Brother Orion: And, and that's something I've really
notice with the kind of women that I wouldn't before
have approached, these sorority girl types, the girls
who have a lot money ... Like last night when I was
104
talking to girls who were out for, they were going after
the professional hockey guys who were in the bar
that we were in. And these were girls who were after
that particular _____ type of guy. But when I got
them going, man, they just wanted reasons that they
could step outside their model of the world and have
the kinds of experiences that they wanted to have,
and have the kind of gift that I could offer them. And,
and, and Brother Metaman saw that, you know, after
I'd been _____ this girl in front of her boyfriend, you
know, sitting close to her with my hand on her
shoulder, I walked away because she couldn't meet
with me because of her boyfriend, that's fine, but she
came later on to find me, with her friend, so that I
would talk to her some more. And she was the hottest
girl in the bar.
?: Do me, do me is what she said.
Brother Orion: That's night. Do me, do me.
Ross: But he said something very interesting. He said
often times a woman wants to be able to expand the
range of what she can experience. She doesn't know
how so ...
Brother Orion: That's right.
Ross: your job through a seducer is to lead her into
that place ...
Brother Orion: That's right,
Ross: where she finds, to her astonishment, that she
begins to create a new opening ...
Brother Orion: That's right.
Ross: for new experiences.
Brother Orion: She needs some help, she needs some
help receiving the gift that I have to give her. I really
believe that.
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Orion: And, they, Wednesday night the girl, I
thought she wasn't going to show up, she was maybe
five minutes late, sure enough, she showed up, I did
the patterns on her, I asked her back to my place, I
said, "I want to read you some poetry but I left it back
at my house.” Boom, again within two hours ... So this
was, you know, within a few days of the seminar, two
different girls who were just absolutely gorgeous ...
Ross: Now, now, if you would ...
Brother Orion: Please.
Ross: Have you ever heard this kind of thing where
she's says, "This is happening too fast?" What is
your response when you hear that? "This is
happening too fast.”
Brother Orion: Well initially, I, I actually change the
rate that I move at. I physically change, not
necessarily the rate that I move at. I mean, not
necessarily that I come on to her, but the rate that I
physically move at. And I back off a little bit, and then
I keep going. And you know I accept that she says
that, I can, I can, you know, without even necessarily
challenging her verbally, I can just keep going. I can
back up a little bit. Cause if it's happening too fast
that means she wants it to happen.
Ross: Yes. Yes. And I think what she's really, what
they're really saying in that case is, "Help me to feel
more comfortable with this.”
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: It's not that it's happening too fast, it's that it's
the comfort is not sufficiently there.
Brother Orion: Right. And you've gotta be
understanding of that. And the other thing is, if
they're saying that, it's largely because they're
thinking, "What would my friends be saying?" You've
gotta really think about, a lot about this. When I was
talking to this girl who was the hottest girl in the bar, I
was saying to her, "You know, you love to dance,
people love to watch you dance, people get jealous of
your energy, a lot of women are real jealous with you
...” All these things pace, you know, the experience
that she has and that keep her from having the kind of
intimacy she wants to have. I think, I think a lot of the,
you know, the women I wouldn't have approached
awhile ago before because of what you see on the
surface of them. But when you communicate in this
way with them, you get in touch with the kind of
woman that you want to hang out with anyway.
Ross: And this is a very important point, something
that Major Mark taught me. Actually, he, when we
were in, I'm getting old, when we were in, where were
we? Hawaii. When we were in Hawaii and Major Mark
was doing his, his thing on business, he made a very
important point. He said, "Forget about the fact that
person has something that you really want.”
Brother Orion: Uh hmm.
Ross: "Instead, pay attention to the predictable
structures inside their mind that you can use to get
what you want.” Now that means it doesn't matter.
Guys have said, "Ross, what about really beautiful
women? Does this work on them?" I said, "What
difference does, does that make? She still has an
unconscious mind. She's still a woman.” As Mark
105
would say, what did you say about really beautiful
women? You said, "Being beautiful, don't hold her
birth defect against her?"
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Being exceptionally beautiful is like she has a
birth defect, so
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: don't punish her for it.
Major Mark: She's had to struggle with it all her life
and the compassionate thing to do is just let it go, act
as though it doesn't even exist.
Brother Orion: Right. And, and she has had to
struggle it all, all of her life. I mean, beautiful women
have had different experiences in life. And so it's
something to realize. Of course this stuff works on
them. It direct, communicates with their unconscious,
it communicates with what they want to experience,
and what they're held back from because of the way
that the, that the world treats them for being beautiful,
which is a little bit different. So I try to focus on,
myself, on really beautiful women, on approaching
them and how they operate in the world. But you bet
it works on them. I think it works better on them.
Ross: Take it from me. Being exceptionally great
looking is not always an advantage.
Audience: Laughter.
Brother Orion: And I'll tell you ...
Ross: It's the price that we pay.
Audience: Part of the handicap.
Brother Orion: Part of the reason why is because
women are used to being hit on. Look, they're used to
it. You're not doing something alien to them. You're
going up to them and talking to them. You're doing it
in a, in a totally different and much more wonderful
and amazing way, you know, when you get, when
you, especially when you get really good at this. But
even when you just use the lines, memorized, you
know, you're complimenting them, you're giving them
a nice feeling. And you, and they're used to it.
They're, beautiful women especially are used to being
hit on a lot. So you're not doing something that's
foreign to them, if you're doing something that's okay.
Ross: Brother Orion, would you ...
Brother Orion: Please. Ross: If I could ...
Brother Orion: yes.
Ross: Brother Orion, Brother Orion, we can insert that.
Brother Orion. Could you talk about some of the, your
other lines that you use. Your shining examples ...
Brother Orion: I'm, I'm going to get into that ...
Ross: Okay.
Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Ross: Okay. I'm sorry. Go.
Brother Orion: Some of the, some of the lines I like to
use are, recently I've been just skipping the lines
sometimes. I'll go up to someone and I'll, and if they're
writing, I'll go, "Oh, oh, is that your writing?" Dah.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: "Why, yes ... ... Have you ever had
that analyzed? There's something really interesting
about you. Would you like me to analyze your
handwriting?" Or, you know, I've, or this line that you
say about, y ou know, "If you can spare a little bit of
time I'll tell you secrets about yourself that even your
best friends don't know. And I get to discover if
you're the kind of person I want to get to know
better.”
Ross: Yes
Brother Orion: Go ahead.
Audience: Do you find there's some example, or some
benefit to asking obvious question that you're certain
to get a yes answer from, like is this your
handwriting?
Brother Orion: Sure, there's, there's, there's absolutely
some benefit in that. I don't want to get stuck in it,
you know. There's the old sales courses that talk
about the yes set. You want to get someone saying,
"Yes.” "Is this your name?" "Yes ... ... Is this your
address?" "Yes.” There's definitely a benefit to that.
Ross: Are you annoyed by my questions? Yes.
Brother Orion: Exactly. Exactly. In and of itself, by
itself, it's not a very powerful question, but you can
also ask those kinds of things unconsciously. You
can, say, questions they don't actually have to
answer out loud. You know, they're, but, yeah, that
does help. Especially, you know, if you're trying to
get rapport with them at the very beginning. And I
think rapport is very important. So, I'll talk a woman,
and I'll say some lines like, "Pardon me, forgive me for
interrupting you.” And I must have used this
hundreds of times. ”But I just have got to tell you,
you are absolutely stunning, drop dead gorgeous
beautiful and I, I had to take a chance to get to know
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you. My name's Ben.”
Ross: That's so great. That's so
Brother Orion: God dammit. My name's Orion.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Do you want to do the whole thing over?
Brother Orion: Feeling schizophrenic today here. My
name's Orion. Now, another thing I want to talk about
is, I do want to talk a little bit about rapport. I have
seen some guys who are utterly, totally go for it,
unbelievable, they'll hit up on women way before I
will, and they don't bother to get rapport with them.
They go up to them, they stand in their face, they say,
they deliver the line, they might use great tonality, but
physically, they're way off. Especially, you, you get a
lot of big guys doing this. There was one guy over six
feet tall, bald guy, would come up in people, you
know, lean into their space and it's just like, you know
what? He had good skills but, you kn ow, you have to
be respectful of someone's space. So it's great to do
the predator but what you do is, you do the predator,
you, you know, you get that, that fierceness in your
attitude to go up and talk to them and then you stand
back and you say what you want say from, from, not
necessarily a far physical distance, but from a
physical posture that's more, less invasive.
?: This is too advanced to _____ , but one of the
things when people talk about personal space ...
Brother Orion: Right.
?: A lot of people wonder what determines personal
space.
Brother Orion: Right.
?: Well, what we found out what determines a lot of
people's personal space is the distance that they
normally put their pictures up when they visualize.
Brother Orion: Right. Right, yeah. You step in
people's pictures if you get close to them. That's
absolutely true.
Ross: The other thing, the other thing to keep in mind
and you, you're going to address it ...
Brother Orion: Yes.
Ross: We'll cut it, but ...
Brother Orion: Please.
Ross: But, when you approach someone, do not
approach like this, stay there, don't move.
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Ross: Okay. If you walk straight up to someone like
this, this is a threat.
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: They don't know whether they're going to flee,
fight, fuck or ...
Brother Orion: Angles.
Ross: Or appease. Okay. You want to approach at a 45
degree angle so they're seeing you peripherally.
Brother On on: Uh hmmin.
Ross: Okay? This is friendly.
Brother Orion: Right
Ross: Now face me. This is not, this is a challenge, ...
Brother Orion: Right
Ross: Like I'm going to get in your face and so ...
Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: If you're going approach, one of the things that
will increase your success, do not come, or, or if
they're, stand and fa ce the window ...
Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: Okay? Don't come-up like this. Hey, you know,
it's like, okay? The best thing you can do
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Position it so it's at a 45 degree angle so they
can see you, they can pick up the motion, see you
peripherally, and you're in, you know, stop like here.
Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: If you're going to come straight out ...
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Ross: on someone, that's an attack.
Brother Orion: And it does have to do with how
physically large of a person you are as well. You
really have to take your own size into consideration.
Major Mark: If I could just add something.
Brother Orion: Please
Major Mark: You mentioned something really quickly
in passing, which is you say, come up, be predatory,
and then back off? Okay? Well, have you ever been
around a woman and a very large cat at the same time,
like when they're looking at tigers, lions, leopards,
whatever? They're fascinated by this. Okay? Does
107
this mean that they want this animal leaping out of the
cage ripping them to shreds? No. Okay. The
fascinating thing about a predator is the realization
that this potentially dangerous but not now, not here.
Brother Orion: Right.
Mai . or Mark: Okay. It's like recognizing danger and
feeling safety at the same time. Okay. It's recognizing
this is a very bad boy, but I'm feeling pretty good
about it. Hmmm.
Brother Orion: And that has a lot to do with your
state that you get in before you go out to do this
stuff. I'll sit in my car before I go into a coffee shop
and get myself in a state. I'll run through the
unstoppable confidence exercises.
Ross: I'm sorry. He did it to me again. Because now
I'm spinning a pattern based on what he just said.
Major Mark: Yep, yeah.
Brother Orion: Cool.
Ross: "Do you, did you, you ever gone to the zoo and
look at a big cat or predator. Do you ever watch
people watching predatory cats? I think the real
appeal of the cat is to note that this is something
really dangerous, really powerful, but not right now.
At the moment, you feel totally safe with this, but you
know at the right moment, all that coiled power can be
unleashed and directed right at you. Almost like
you're something for them to eat.”
Audience: Laughter
Brother On on: Cool.
Ross: "And what is that like inside when you walk the
line between danger and safety, danger and safety?
And you feel the tug between the two forces deep on
the inside such that it opens up an entirely different
personality inside? A personality begins to emerge
and come forth. A personality that goes, ummm, I bet
you I could pet that tiger and make it roll over and
purr for me and only for me, ummm.” I'm riffing on
this, I'm making ...
Brother Orion: Cool.
Ross: it up on the spot. But see, he talks, I hear
patterns, he's a pattern generator.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'm sorry.
Brother Orion: That's okay.
Major Mark: That was excellent. You didn't work in
the raspy tongue thing.
Ross & Audience: Laughter and cheers. I'm not
worthy.
Brother Orion: So cool. There's a lot, there's a lot of
lines that work. And the reason I like lines, I don't
always use them, but the reason I like them you have
it worked out ahead of time. If you see someone out
of the comer of your eye and you want to jump to it,
you got, you know, it's like, it's like in TERMINATOR,
when he's got that little display up ...
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: I have one. BBBBBBBB. Fuck you
asshole.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: I have one and before I go out and sarge, I run
through six different possible responses before I even
walk out the door.
Brother Orion: Yep. Yep.
Ross: So when I see, I lock on and I know, I know
what choices I have available. Just like a fighter pilot
in a modem cockpit, he has to have situational
awareness. He has so many different weapons
systems t hat nowadays that don't have dials; they
have video display terminals that pop up. It shows
the status of each weapon and they even give you a
little cone, it's like represented in red, to tell you if the
target's within the, within the range of that weapon.
So you'll see here's the weapon, they'll have a little
cone-shaped pattern to tell you if they're within
missile range for that particular weapon. So you go,
"Oh, I can't use that, I can't, oh, I can use this one and
it's getting to the point I can use that one.” I'll show
you mine on after, later on in the afternoon. Go ahead.
Brother Orion: BBBBB. I have an intuition about you.
You are very visual. You make images very vividly in
your mind.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: You have the lines worked out so you
don't have to think about them, you don't have to
think about them and anybody who knows anything
about science which, somehow, you got a lot of those
people at your seminars.
Ross: Yes
Brother Orion: You have control groups. When you
do science, you have control groups. You control for
the factors to see what's working. You might
approach the same kind of girls, I love, I'm giving it
away here, but I love college campuses. I mean, you
get the, you get the same age, the same socio,
108
socioeconomic group, you get the same, you can go
for, I'm only going to talk to five foot six blondes
today. I mean, you can really control it. And then, ...
?: Smorgasbord.
Brother Orion: Smorgasbord. And then you have a
particular line or a few lines you use and you go and
try them again and again and again. You set out with
that outcome. You're not going out, "Gee I'm think I'm
going to go for a stroll in the park and if I happen to
meet a woman ...” And then you'll go out and you
think, "I'm going to go out and for three hours, I'm
just going to use these techniques, I'm just going to
try this line, I'm just going to talk to them and if goes
for more than half an hour, I'm going to make a date
for later.” Something, but get out there and try it. say,
"I'm going to make 200 glow today.” Okay?
?: 200?
Brother Orion: You can do it! Eight hours on a college
campus, how could you not talk to 200 women? I
mean, you know, when you do, when you do
marketing, how, how, what are, what's the percentage
of return you get? You know, two, five percent? Not
with your killer marketing, of course. But, you know,
most of, most mail order stuff, you know, you're
getting these low percentages.
?: And most mail order houses, in, to break even is
one percent.
Brother Orion: One percent? Is that right?
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Orion: Wow, wow.
Ross: But, but you're always getting something cause
you're always getting feedback and learning and
getting more confident.
Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: Every, you, you, so there's not a situation
where you don't get some positive stroke out of it.
Brother Orion: Yep. And I'm not saying to have
everything you have, you gotta say canned. But
when you know what you're going to say, you can
think about other things. Because one of the real
amazing things about a lot of what NLP does is it
forces you to pay attention to the person in front you.
Ross: Right.
Brother Orion: You've gotta pay attention to how
they're communicating. To get rapport, when I talk
about rapport, I'm talking mainly about matching and
mirroring their, they way that they stand, their
posture. You can match her pretty closely. I mean,
obviously these techniques aren't as powerful as the
language patterns and some of the other skills, but it's
important to be in rapport, use the same voice, general
voice tone, but of course, it'll lead into a more
hypnotic, you know, more seductive voice tone. Use
the same posture. And you're able to pay attention to
these things cause you're not thinking about the next
word out of your mouth. Yo u know, and when an
actor's up on stage, they're not trying to remember
their lines by that point, they remember their, they're
feeling the emotions.
Ross: Now, Ben, you, you said something about tone.
Kim's going to come tomorrow and teach us how to
improve our voice and our tonality. But I want to talk
a little bit about it cause ...
Brother Orion: Please
Ross: One of the things I've noticed about you is, you
don't do this thing where you really lean on the
commands, like it's important to feel horny, horny.
You tend to ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It seems to me that when you speak to women
...
Brother Orion: Echo, I'm bad.
Ross: When you speak to women, you have an
overall tonality that's hypnotic. Your overall tonality,
no matter what you said, it's a little quieter, a little
softer, a little more here than it is here ...
Brother Orion: yep
Ross: Which is ...
Brother Orion: And I, and, and what's interesting that
I've started doing is, I do fractionate. I do talk about, I
want to make a distinction between me and all the
other chumps out there. And I'll say, you know, "You
know, it's so interesting to be having a conversation
like this cause sometimes you talk to someone and
they could be talking about their car or their job and
it's so boring, but sometimes you start to think about
those other things.” And of course, Ross brought up
embedded commands. For anybody who doesn't
know an embedded command, you take a short
phrase, in, in the, in the tense of a command, you
know, feel really horny, get really turned on, pause,
drop your tonality, pause, it embeds it, it
communicates directly with the unconscious mind. It's
a short, short version of what an embedded command
does.
109
Ross: But what he's doing there is shifting his tone.
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: He talks about normal guys, he goes ...
Brother Orion: That's right.
Ross: Now the normal guys, but then there are the
other people ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: And, now, let me ask you a question, …
Brother Orion: Please.
Ross: cause I know there's a question. I'm, I'm playing
ventriloquist dummy here and they're ...
Brother Orion: Go for it.
Ross: operating my mouth. Hmmm, I don't know if I
like that image.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Urn, um, um, um, the question I have for you is,
well don't some women notice, don't women, some
women say, "Hey, you sure have a funny voice.
You're talking quietly. What's up with ... ? "
Brother Orion: They say, what they say is, "You're
good.”
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: In that tonality.
Ross: 'Mat's what they say to me.
Brother Orion: What's up with that?
Ross: That's what they say to you, "You're good,
you're really good.” I'll give you a story.
Brother Orion: Please.
Ross: I was sitting in, I was, this is how, we, we
interrupt each other and that's okay. I was sitting at
California Pizza Kitchen, this really hot looking black
actress, singer, dancer, whatever, sits down next to
me and I said, "That's a really great coat. Where did
you get it?" One of my famous lines, "Where did you
get that?" Sh e said, "Oh, my boyfriend bought it for
me. In fact, I didn't even have to go with him. I just
sent him out shopping and he knows what to buy.” I
said, "Oh really? So in other words, he knows how to
please the culturally programmed woman instead of
the natural woman?" And she looked at me, she said,
"Ooo, you're good, you're really good.”
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: I said, "Won't it be wonderful if she recognizes
it's just going to keep getting better and better and
better?" Shit. ”Who are you?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And then I went into what I do, but, go ahead.
Brother Orion: Cool. A few things I want to cover on
intros before I move on, and I've covered a lot here.
You might have to back the tape up and listen to
again because I went through some thin gs pretty
quickly without going into detail about them. And
that's, one of the things is that, you, that some of the
lines, the patterns are structured really well so you
don't have to think about the structure. It takes a
pretty good degree of skill to get to the level where
you can build patterns that are exquisitely formed. So,
you do spend them, the middle time talking, you
know, both in memorized patterns, if you can
memorize a few patterns, it'll help you out, but also,
you know, talking generally, but when you throw
those memorized patterns in there, they're all prepared
and ready to go, just ready to be shot out. And then
it's trial and error. It's really, when you use, you know,
lines, it is trial and error. You're, you, you're seeing
what works and what doesn't work, and it's
experimental, you know, when, when you step out of
being emotionally connected to every response you
get from a woman. Well, even if you are emotionally
connected to it, you get so much positive responses,
you know, cause you're coming from a positive place.
You're, you're really hoping to make the woman feel
good.
Ross: The mindset that you should take on is, did you
see, I'm sorry, did you see the movie THE RIGHT
STUFF?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Who has not rented that movie? Who h as not
seen THE RIGHT STUFF? Rent it and watch it. You
want to have the night stuff. Their whole thing is that
they want to see how far they can push it.
Brother Orion: Let me, let me get through this section
and take questions on intros and then I'll move on to
closes. I don't want to spend a lot time answering
questions, just simply because I have a lot a material I
want to get through.
Ross: Go for it.
Brother Orion: The other thing is your, is your
outcome, that you want to have an outcome in mind. I
mean, go out there, and your outcome could be to, to,
you know, make 20 women smile. That could be a
great outcome. Your outcome, I think, you know, a
110
great outcome to have is just to have fun. You know,
if you're going out and you have the outcome of
having fun, but you also should have an outcome, I
think, you know, if you leave your house. Actually go
out and use the skills and meet women. I mean, I don't
think you should just have an outcome, outcome of
having a nice afternoon. You know, if this is what you
really want to do, you should set aside a period of
time and really focus on it. And you should, you can
also have, you know, an outcome of getting results. I
want to get this far with someone. It's part of the way
that you can plan ahead is, you can, you know, plan
for the following day. What, what's my outcome, what
do I want to learn tomorrow, what do I want to plan
out, you know, for memorizing or practicing or for
building my state? And, and have a lot of fun with it,
that, the whole introduction, the whole idea. I also like
partial introductions where you just go up to a woman
and you say, "I have just got to tell you, I love your
shoes, you're really stylish, and you have great
energy.” And she'll say, "Thanks.” And I might even
say, "Have a nice day.” You know, and walk off. Part,
and but, I trick myself This is cool. I trick myself I
actually think to myself, you know what? This is
what's been happening with these really beautiful
sorority type, you know, athletic, rich women who I
just didn't think I have a lot in common with or I'm
really going to get on that well with. I go up to them
and I think I'm just going to go make her feel good
just so I can get used to talking to beautiful women.
So that it becomes part of my experience and my
everyday life is I talk to beautiful women. Tens. I just
do it. It doesn't make a big deal. And it, it increases,
you know, the way other people see you. It increases
your believability. When you're talking to beautiful
women, you know, psychological studies show that
you're move believable, and you're perceived as more
believable by the people around you. So I'll go up and
I'll just say that, but then when I get to the part of
"Have a nice day" a lot times, they won't let go of my
hand. They want to talk with me. They want to know
more of where I'm coming from. And part of it was
because, you know, that might see somehow that,
that I'm just there to make them feel good, and I can
walk away if they like. But that's not the best way. If
you actually want to go furt her, keep going, keep
going, and keep going and keep going. Just because
there's a pause in the conversation, doesn't mean you
have to walk away. Just because you, she's not
responding doesn't mean you have to walk away. If it
looks like she's listening and taking in what you're
saying, she might just be like going crazy inside of her
mind and not, and not giving you real vivid visual
signs. Especially before you build up the acuity to
notice what some of the signs are. So, having
wrapped up that section of intros, does anybody
have any questions? I'm just going to take a couple,
but let's go.
Audience: Well, first off, you keep talking about the
sorority girls and it sounds so familiar to them. The
movie LOVE' POTION NUMBER 9 where ...
Brother Orion: Yeah
Audience: you'll help me understand ...
Brother Orion: I haven't seen it.
Audience: the power ...
Brother Orion: But I've heard of it.
Audience: _____ college campuses ...
Brother Orion: Right
Audience: sorority scene. Anyway, also, you're
talking about the believability, what do you mean by
that, that Studies show that you're ...
Brother Orion: Oh, well, there, there have been
psychological studies that show if you, if, if You'll, if,
if two people look at someone, right, and, and they're
looking to see if they're believable, maybe they're
hearing a recording on a phone, and they look at a
picture of who they're supposed to be talking to, and
if the picture is a guy with a beautiful woman and it's
the guy talking, no matter what the guy looks like, if
it's a beautiful woman who's with him in the picture,
right, he's more believable. If you're around beautiful
women in your life, if you are, you and she have a
higher status in society. This is the, this is the, you
know, the down and dirty way to get alpha male
status.
Ross: Why do you think I'm giving I want to sleep
with copies of PLAYBOY magazine, with the article
about me in it? Because the first thing they do is turn
to the centerfold and the other pictures and go,
"Wow, look at her, look at her. He must be something.
He's in the magazine with all these nude girls;
therefore, he's with all these nude girls. Da da da da.”
Plus my trainer's absolutely fabulously babe-a-licious.
Cause I work out with her in the gym, all the beautiful
women in the gym will talk to me.
Brother Orion: That's night.
Ross: "Oh yeah. You're that guy who hangs out with
Molly.” Well, I pay her to train me, that's ...
Brother Orion: And as much as I think desensitization
is not the way to get over fear is, you know, ...
111
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Orion: It does help over a time, you know. If
you have a fear and you're going out and talking to
them all the time, you teach your mind that you can
do that, that it's part of your everyday experience. Did
you have a comment?
Audience: I just wanted to add a quick little
validation. I've only been playing with this stuff for a
couple of months, but, when I use something like
"You're a shining example of genetic perfection" and I
just stand back for a second? Probably a good 50% of
the time, they'd say, "What's your name?"
Brother Orion: Right.
Audience: They put their hand out and they ask, they
introduce themselves to me.
Brother Orion: Right. It's a great line. And, and, I don't
say it to women who aren't. I say other lines, ...
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: I don't. I don't. I don't. I, I say it to
women who are and I say other lines to women who
aren't. Those are great ...
Ross: You can adapt it. If you see an extremely
athletic woman, I'll say, "Excuse me, has anyone ever
told you you're a shining example of physiological
perfection?"
Brother Orion: Oooh. Or athletic perfection?
Ross: I've never tried that one but I have said
physiological perfection.
Brother Orion: Yeah. So, go ahead.
Audience: You mentioned the grapho-deck earlier.
Now, do you carry that with you and pull it out and
use it ...
Brother Orion: No. I don't. I don't. A lot of people like
to do that kind of thing and the reason is, even if
you've gotten to a level where you don't, you
memorize it, what you can do is, you can step back
from it. You can say, "The cards say, the cards tell
you, ...”
Audience: So it's repeating what ...
Brother Orion: "the cards tell me, " so you're, you're,
you can give authenticity to an expert in the cards
without having to say, "I'm the expert, I know.” And if
the challenge and say, "I don't believe it, " you go,
"Yeah, those cards.” Or if they, ...
Ross: They're easily memorized.
Brother Orion: you know, they say the really do
believe it, you can step in and say ...
Ross: They're easily memorized. I, you, you'll get all ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: _____
Brother Orion: But even when you've them
memorized, you can carry them around with you if
you like. Yeah, so. John?
John: Is there any advantage to carrying them with
you?
Yates?: If you can touch her and hand her the card
and she's handing it back to you so that natural
touching is taking place with the cards.
Brother Orion: Right. Right. I don't though. I don't
carry them around.
Yates: You don't really need them, but I mean, there is
some advantages of having them.
Brother Orion: John?
John: I guess this, this still gets me as the, how do
you maintain your sense of sincerity when you've
done a pattern a hundred times?
Brother Orion: Because it, because, if I have done a
pattern a hundred times, I have gone through the
motion, emotions of the pattern at least a hundred
times plus all the times that I went through to it to
memorize, I mean, "Have you ever felt an incredible
connection like maybe as you're there, " and every
time I say it, you cannot say the words without
experiencing some amount of the emotions. And the
more that you experience them, the more that you can
feel them. And so it is sincere, it's absolutely sincere.
Even if I didn't write it, I believe it.
Major Mark: YOU can't say it without feeling emotion.
My sense is there are guys in the room who see
patterns as I say them without necessarily being
connected with the emotion.
Brother Orion: Right.
Major Mark: Okay? Now, were, one of the additional
antenna that women have is they have got a terrific
bullshit detector, especially when it comes to men.
Okay? And if you come up and you lie to her face,
well guess what? She's not going to respond
favorably. Okay? We say this over and over and over
again. We talk about you must go first.
Brother Orion: Right.
Major Mark: This is, this doesn't just mean experiment
112
with all _____ the states, take yourself into trance,
and all this kind of stuff, but it also means that if
you're talking about an emotion, you've got to be
familiar with that that you're describing.
Brother Orion: Right.
Major Mark: That you must feel it. Now, the good
news is as you feel and as you describe it, it's not a
matter of how do I maintain my sincerity, you're just
talking, you are actually doing it. And that's what
they respond to.
Ross: Now, let me say this. You don't want to have
the full response that she's going to have. Just
enough of it to guide you.
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Tape 6 – Side 1
Yates: This is Side 11 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed
Seduction Seminar
Ross: Now, let me say this. You don't have the full
response that she's going to have. Just enough of it
to guide you. So, I'll, we're going to do an exercise
later in the weekend where I'll show you how to
briefly step into any emotion, have just a little of it,
just enough to keep you on track so that your words
are sincere, instead of it being just memorized script
that no relation to what you believe. And this is why I
say, eventually, to get really powerful with this, you
want to find patterns that reflect a theme that's deep,
passionate meaning to you. The reason why I'm better
with this if I'm blatant and blunt about it, is, cause
what my work is a deep, passionate concern to me.
Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Ross: When I talk to women about what I do and I
talk to about what I teach the guys and what I try to
get across and what my challenges are, I'm not
kidding them. This made me much more effective and
powerful with this to just flat out "I teach hypnosis
and seduction.” And to talk about what I teach and
why it's important to me, and of course I'm weaving
pattern language all throughout there. But I'm talking
about something of sincere importance to me.
Brother Orion: Yeah. I, I now would add this. When it
comes to sincerity and integrity, what, what we have
here is a roomful of people who have spent their good
money and taken their good time to learn how to make
women beautiful, you know, and how to make them
feel absolutely wonderful and experience what it is to
be, you know, human and feel incredible emotions
and feelings. We've, you know, and I've spent a lot
time studying it. Now my integrity in that is that I
apply it to making people feel really good in a way
that's in their own best interest. And if it's not, I walk
away from it. You know, I encourage everybody to
have that attitude because women have a bullshit
detector, they have an asshole detector that makes
the bullshit detector look like Stone Age technology.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: I'm telling you. They can tell assholes,
people who are out to hurt them because they haven't
resolved their own situations. We have an incredibly
powerful skillset here and if you need to apply it to
yourself first, before you start applying it to
everybody, I encourage you t o do that.
Ross: Yes. And see, and this is very important to see.
You could come in here on the first morning thinking
speed seduction is something I'm going to learn to
say to women. Well, that's not what it's about. Speed
seduction is about learning to think about the world
and think about people in a certain way, so that your
words reflect who you are as a person. So, yes, you
should memorize patterns as an example of the kind
the things, the kinds of communications that will
touch women in a certain way. But as you're
memorizing the patterns, also get a piece of that
experience for yourself. Imagine someone is reading
that pattern to you in a way that really touches you
and get a piece of that feeling for yourself. To the
extent that you step into an experience and have it for
yourself when you talk about it, you're not reciting,
you're revealing. I'll say it again. If you step into a
pattern and really get some of the experience yourself,
then when you talk about it you're reciting, you're
revealing.
Brother Orion: Uh hmmm.
Ross: What is the difference, here we go, contrasting.
Remember what's the difference between looking and
truly seeing? What's the difference between someone
who's interesting and someone who intriguing?
What's the difference between reciting and revealing?
Hold it. What's the difference between reciting and
revealing? Now, it's okay to recite patterns, to
memorize them. But you also want to put them
through the filter of revealing in as much that you
want to have a little bit of that experience for yourself.
Just a wee bit. I'm not saying go all way to _____ but
just have a little bit of it.
Brother Orion: And also you can weave in between
patterns and you weave patterns in between your
speech or however you want to look at it, that relate
back to the themes are being explored and the
patterns that you've memorized.
Ross: A lot of way I think is about the difference
between things.
Brother Orion: All right ...
Ross: That's the, that's the difference between me.
Right?
Brother Orion: That's right. I think. Yeah, a difference
between you, right. Okay, I'm going to move on to
closes because I, I, I can't take too much time here
today and I've got some things I want to let you guys
know about.
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Ross: Take as much time as you want to, by the way.
Brother Orion: Oh, fantastic, fantastic. Well I will and
I'll take ...
Ross: I'm tired ...
Brother Orion: some questions at the end of this. So,
even _____ if people have some questions about
intros that's great. But, there's other lines out there
you can explore. We've said other lines during the
weekend, so, I'm not going to go through a whole lot
them. I am going to get into closes because, you
know, let's say you've got the intro down, you've
gotten rapport with them, you've done tons of
patterns or whatever it takes and I keep going. I really
keep going. I mean, if you, you think about, just a
quick thing on memorizing. The average stage actor
can, you know, memorize his part very rapidly for a,
for a huge, I'm not going to say specifically, but, you
know, hours of talking, monologues, and strange
arcane forms of English. You can memorize these
patterns; they're real. You know? I mean, this is, this
is real experience. This is how things, how things
work inside someone's mind. And it takes a little bit of
time. There's different, you know, tools out there for
memorizing but, by all means, do it. By all means
memorize them, even if it's only so your unconscious
can generalize. But I use them; I absolutely use them.
And it comes down to the close. Okay, you've got her
into the state you want her in, you know, it's time for
whatever reason you've decided to, you know, to, to
put the rubber to the road and see what's going to
happen. What have you got to lose?
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Did I say that?
Ross: That, by the way, that, that's what Rex Sykes
said about speed seduction.
Brother Orion: That's right. Ross: He said speed
seduction is the place in NLP where the rubber meets
the road.
Brother Orion: That's right. And do wear rubbers
fellows. Okay. So, what have you got to lose at this
point? Okay? I mean, relationships don't start for the
most part with women, you know, being friends with
guys and then eventually falling in love with them. It
just doesn't work that way. That's why a lot of you
need to get over that woman that you think that you
seduce because you've been friends for so long. You
know, it's like Major Mark says. We give you this
brand new Ferrari and you drive it into the same old
brick wall. You know? I, I, I'm sorry if I'm being harsh
guys, but there's a lot of guys out there who have one
particular person in mind who they've been friends
with for a long time and they want to seduce. Well,
there's a hell of a lot more good women out there to
meet and when you've got these tools you can meet
the good part of the good women and that's
something you might never get to with those other
women. So, what have you got to lose? You know?
What, you're going to have coffee with her for
another couple of weeks, talk, sit down and talk to
her, try to think what you're going to come up with to
say. What have you got to lose? Go for it. See if she's
game, you know? I mean, the only thing you've got,
you know, you've got to lose is nothing. The
opportunity, but not even that. I mean, cause you can
close more than once. She says no, you keep going,
you make another try at it, you know.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: So, I'm, I'm going to say a first, a
couple of linguistic closes and then I'm going to talk
more into strategies for closing. One is, is that Brother
Kamal on our troubleshooter's tapes revealed this
thing he's been working with for a long time called
what would have to happen and listed her process. I
love it. I heard that and I lit up. What would have to
happen for us t o get together for coffee? What would
have to happen for us to laugh over a cup of coffee?
Ross: What steps would we have to take?
Brother Orion: What steps would we have to take.
Brother Coby, what would have to happen for you to
convince your wondrous self to join me for a cup of
coffee?
Ross: Yeah, Brother Coby says what would a guy
have to do to convince your wondrous self to have a
cup of coffee with me?
Brother Orion: Ah, I love it.
Ross: To go for a cup of coffee, is that what you say?
Brother Orion: Convince your ... Not just to convince
herself, to convince her wondrous self. Now, are you
saying that wondrous part of her or are you saying to
convince that wondrous person who she is?
Beautiful, exactly, yeah, it's beautiful. Those
ambiguities, they have to process it ...
Ross: Rather than saying "Who you like to go out
sometime or can I have your phone number?"
Brother Orion: Right. That's, that part of the reason
that Ross uses so many ambiguities is the
Unconscious mind processes all possible meanings.
So, the other thing is that a lot of these closes have
presuppositions in it; presuppositions just being
115
linguistic structures that have to be accepted in order
for it to make sense. So, you know, what, so when
you say something like "When would be a good time
for me to call you?" what does that presume? Can
somebody say what's it going ...
Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: What is it?
Audience: There might be a bad time.
Brother Orion: There might, no it doesn't mean that
there may be a bad, well, that does, okay. It does, but
when would be a good time presumes that you're
going to call her. And that she ...
Audience: And that there will be a good time.
Brother Orion: And that there will be a good time ...
Audience: She's going to g ive you her phone number.
Brother Orion: And that she's going to give you her
phone number. You know, a lot of times you say
things like that, or I say, "Have you got a pen?" And
if she says, "Yes" she's got a pen, she's on her way to
actually writing down her phone number.
Ross: And also when you say something like "What
steps would we have to take to make sure we get a
chance to talk again, " ...
Brother Orion: I should get back to that.
Ross: When she answer the questions and gives you
her phone numb er, that sets up the expectation that
giving the phone number, she's only giving it to you
because she wants you to call.
Brother Orion: Exactly.
Ross: Rather than just giving it to you to get you out
of the way.
Brother Orion: Hey, can I have your phone number ...
Ross: Right.
Brother Orion: There's no further step.
Ross: Yeah
Brother Orion: And, and it's, it's the one time when
I've started to actually be comfortable with women's
phone numbers. Cause if that's their process, that you
go up to someone and you say, you know, "What has
to happen ...” well, "I have to give you my phone
number.” And very rarely do they say, and they do
say it sometimes, "Oh, just give me your phone
number.” And then what, I'm sorry, can I hear your
response to that when t hey ask you for your phone
number? Is that okay? Where you say something
along the lines of, "Sure, I'll give you ...” This is
beautiful.
?: Basically, if someone asks me for my phone
number, I, I'm to the point now where I've given it out
enough times and not gotten calls back where I say ...
Brother Orion: Right.
?: I need to get their phone number, that's my mindset,
so I'll say, "Oh, sure I'll give you my phone number,
but I also need to get yours from you.” And it's like as
I'm handing my phone numb er to them, I put that
reciprocity in place.
Brother Orion: Right.
?: So I say, "Because I'm real serious about getting
together with you and I want to make sure we get
together.”
Brother Orion: And if they say no to that again? Your
response? Do you have another good response?
?: I don't even remember what it was.
Brother Orion: It was something along the lines, along
the lines, "Well, well, if you want to get together,
great.”
?: Oh, yeah. If they, if they won't give me their phone
number at all, I'll, sometimes I'll even take mine back
from them and I'll say ...
Brother Orion: Laughing
?: "You know, no is okay. If you don't want to give me
your phone number, no is okay, but I'm real serious.”
Ross: I take my card
Brother Orion: "Oh, no, no, " but you, but you say, "If
you want to get together, that, that's great, but I'm not
just going to give you my number.”
Ross: And I've also did, I did this with this h. b. at the
CPK _____ . She asked for my number. I said, "You're
not going to call me. I know you're not going to call
me.” She said, "I'll call you.” I said, "You're not going
to call.” She said, "Give me your card.” And I gave it
to her and I said, and I took it back out of her hand,
and said, "Nah, you're not going to call me.” Well, she
called me.
Brother Orion: Yep. Yep.
Ross: Long distance. She was, she, she sings for
somebody, she's in someone's band. She called me
from the road in Nashville, Tennessee.
Brother Orion: Ross has started working with some
great challenge patterns.
116
Ross: Yeah. As long as we're going
Brother Orion: Which really, really set you up. So,
once you get their phone number, with that particular
close, what has to happen? "Oh, here's my number.”
"Great. When's a good time to call?" Or, "Great. I'll tell
you what. When wo uld be a good time to get
together?" Don't stop. Because you've got their
phone number, you can go for more. You know?
You've got, you've got one piece, you can go for the
rest. ”Great. When, when do you want to get
together?" or "When should I give you a call about
getting together?"
Ross: The other aspect of this is, here's another
reason why you shouldn't just say, "Can I have your
phone number?" What if the only step that she needs
is, what if, in her mind, she's thinking, "Let's go back
to my place right now" and you ask, "Can I have your
phone number?"
Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Ross: You've interrupted yourself.
Brother Orion: Absolutely. And you get how excited
she is. ”Oh, nothing.” They'll, I've had that answer.
”What would have to happen for us to get together?"
"Oh, nothing.” "Great.” I, then I get to set the
direction. ”Great, let's together, let's get together
tomorrow, let's go right now, let's meet, you know, I'll
give you a call ...” Whatever, it's up to you. ”Nothing
would have to happen.” I hear it a lot Set a time. Try
to find out when they're going call. You don't want to
get into this technological warfare of caller 69, dot,
star 69, you know, which calls somebody back, star 67
which blocks caller ID. All this kind of ...
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Bogus game. I'm serious, you know.
It's ridiculous and then sitting there and, "Oh, is she
going to call me back?" Or, "Does she know that I
called?" And all this kind of stuff.
Ross: She's like you need a wild weasel phantom
aircraft for the electronic jamming equipment just to
talk to her.
Brother Orion: Right. I, I, I did this on this, on this girl
not so long ago and she said, I said, you know, I said,
"What has to happen?" "Well, here's my phone
number.” She said, "I'm off Monday and Friday.” I
said, "Great.” I already have her phone number. ”Why
don't we get together Monday.” So I'm going to get
together with her this Monday. So I made the plan,
you know, and I just did it. And the other thing I
should say, just going back real quickly to intros, is
it's not necessarily bad for women to see you hitting
on other women. It can actually be to your benefit.
They know you're not afraid of beautiful women and
you're talking to a woman who's hotter than she is
and making her smile and laugh and giving her a
massage. That can be a real green light.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: So, I think it's, I think to always close.
Always close; it's good practice. You know? And if a
woman's attractive and interesting enough for you to
be talking to her, why not? You know, get her phone
number, see what happens. Even if it doesn't seem like
you're getting the kind of response ...
Ross: Now, now, while we're on this, let me say
something, let me deal with the challenge you'll often
hear. ”I have a boyfriend.” Now oftentimes they're
just saying that just to give token resistance. They're
really saying, "Hey listen. I want to be with you but I
don't want you to think I'm disloyal and you're going
to find out anyway eventually, so, I'm just doing my
duty letting you know I do have one. And now that
I've done my duty, let's go big boy.”
Brother Orion: Yep. That's true. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Ross: Most objections are not really
objections, they're just requests for help. Here's a
belief I want to give you that I forgot to give you
earlier. Thank you Ben ...
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Ross: for being patient with me. The belief is that
every woman wants to be seduced by you, she just
doesn't necessarily know how.
Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Ross: Every woman wants to be seduced by you, she
just doesn't necessarily know how. And objections
are, in fact, just requests for help.
Brother Orion: Yep. And along the lines of
boyfriends, you know, you don't know what her
relationship is with this guy. You know, I have, there's
this girl staying at my apartment with my roommate
right now. And he tells me, he's like, he's like, "Yeah,
she's got boyfriend.” And I said, "Oh really?" You
know, "Yeah, but he hasn't called her in months and
he left town without saying anything.” So he's not
going to come on to this girl who's staying in his
room and you saw her. She's pretty cute.
Ross: Yeah, she's got a nice little, hot little thin body.
Brother Orion: He's not going to hit on her because
"She's got a boyfriend.” I mean ...
117
Ross: A borefriend?
Brother Orion: he didn't call her and ... a borefriend?
Ross: "How long you been going out your
borefriend?"
Brother Orion: That's right.
Ross: My response is, "Oh, borefriend? Does your
borefriend tell you he loves you all the time or just
when he senses you're really bored with him?
Brother Orion: Yep. And you don't know, right,
Audience: Responses from audience
Brother Orion: Oh, oh, this is a good one, this is a
good one.
Audience: Responses from audience
Brother Orion: Boyfriends; I used this last night.
Boyfriends. ”Boyfriends are so easy to forget when
they're not around.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: So I give you that again. ”Borefriend? Does
your borefriend tell you he loves you all the time or
only when he senses you're bored with him?"
Brother Orion: Look, you don't have a right to make
that decision for a woman. You know?
Ross: laughs
Brother Orion: I'm, you don't, you don't. She has a
boyfriend. What, are you going to be insulting
enough to tell her that she doesn't have the freedom
to talk to you and to have a wonderful experience with
you just because she's got some guy that, that, you
know, they have what's a nominalization called
boyfriend/girlfriend?
Ross: Or, or I'll say something like, "Boyfriend?" I'll
go, "Wow, that great. He must be the kind of man
who really knows how to touch the person you are
deep inside.”
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: "I'm sure he's not just someone you're keeping
around till you find someone better.”
Brother Orion: Right, right.
Ross: No, then I'll nod my head like this.
Brother Orion: And you can definitely approach
women who are with guys. They're not necessarily
with their boyfriends.
Ross: And I'll nod my head like this and if I see her go
like this me - he's outta there.
Brother Orion & Audience: Laughter.
Ross: So, I'll give you that response again.
”Boyfriend? That's great. He must be the kind of man
who can touch you, who are deep inside, instead of
just someone you're keeping around until you find
someone better.”
Brother Orion: Or, "It's so rare to find somebody who
meets all of your own special, unique values.” Major
Mark.
Major Mark: Orion's right. It's incredibly arrogant of
you to decide all the reasons why she must be ready
and willing reject you. Okay? Now, a lot guys fall into
this trap because they spent a lot of time and energy
thinking up all the reasons why she must be upset
with your kind of guy. Now, she must be the sort of
woman who would never, ever go for you or she's one
who's going to be impossibly loyal to this guy's
treating her like crap. Okay? Let her make up her own
mind; act as though women were people.
Brother Orion: That's right.
Major Mark: Okay? Brother Orion: And that's a lesson
that that guys, a lot of guys need to learn.
Ross: Another way to get past it since we're dealing
with this boyfriend challenge is to say, I've had this
work so many times, I say, "Boyfriend?" I'll go, "Hey,
that's all right. I can promise to control myself. I can't
control how naturally and easily you'll find all your
feelings changing for just, only the right reasons.” So
you say, "Boyfriend?"
Brother Orion: Nice.
Ross: "That's okay. I can promise to control myself I
can't control how naturally and easily you'll find all
your feelings changing for all the right reasons.” And
they go, "Oooh.” That's always what I hear. Oooh.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Okay. ”That's all right. I can promise to control
myself. I can't promise, I can't control how naturally
and easily you'll find all your feelings changing for all
the right reasons ... Oooh.”
Brother Orion: Now I want to get into physical closes.
When I mean that, I mean getting, getting the
physical contact with them. It's different than closing
for phone number or a date or another meeting. This
is the real deal.
Audience: Laughter.
Brother Orion: We go, we go back here,
118
Audience: Response from audience.
Brother Orion: We go back here, what did you say?
What's that?
Ross: I recognize that sound.
Brother Orion: We go back here to the, to the, for our
first clue to the father of modem hypnosis, Dr. Milton
Erickson, who said, who was asked once, you know,
how, how a person can know when to kiss a girl. And
he said, "When the, when her lower lip engorges with
blood and sticks out a little bit, she wants to be
kissed.” You know? It's a great, it really is a great
physical cue to look for. I, that doggie dinner bowl
look is a great one to look for ...
Ross: I've seen some serious nipple erections through
some very thick blouses.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: On the women I was talking to ...
Ross: No, I'm not, not trying to be vulgar here, I'm
seriously, ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'm not trying to be vulgar or crude, this little 18
year old waitress I ran into ...
Brother Orion: That's true.
Ross: Gave me a dirty joke to tell. So I ran back in
before my car was pulled up and told her and she
went, voom voom.
Brother Orion: And, and not every woman that you
get hot and horny is going to want to kiss you,
unfortunately, cause this would be a lot easier if it, if it
worked that way. Cause it's really easy when you
have the skills to get woman hot and horny, and it's a
little bit more challenging to actually get to the point
of physically closing.
Ross: Here's a body posture. Whenever I've seen it, a
woman has fucked me. Whenever.
Brother Orion: Wow.
Ross: When she's in the car, okay, hold that for now.
Okay, you're in the driver's seat and she's over here in
the right hand seat. If she tucks her legs up like that
and turns towards you and she's got her legs tucked
up like this, this totally turned toward you like this, so
I'm sort of like got my legs tucked up underneath me,
she's turned like this, you're going to get some.
Brother Orion: Yep.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: If the legs are up off the floor and they're
tucked under her on the seat ...
Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: So her feet are not touching the car floor at all,
instead she's got her legs tucked up under her and
she's turning towards the side facing you, sort of
sideways like this, you're going to get some.
Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: Yes, I have
Ross: Have you ever not gotten laid when that was
happening?
Brother Orion: I ...
Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: I don't think so. I haven't seen it very
often.
Ross: That's a very seriously ...
Brother Orion: I've certainly seen it out ...
Ross: You ever been in that posture with a guy?
Brother Orion: I definitely see it with, it with women
I've been sleeping with or in my car.
Ross: Yeah. Extremely comfortable posture.
?: Well, think about it. She's in this space where she
has a 360 degree panoramic view ...
Brother Orion: Right.
?: And she turns so that the only thing that is of
interest to her is you.
Brother Orion: Is you.
Ross: Right.
Brother Orion: And the other thing is, is when there
are pauses in a conversation; now pauses in a
conversation are okay. Again, fractionation, letting
her integrate what you said, you can have not just
pauses to create ...
Ross: Does everyone understand fractionation? Some
people may not ...
Brother Orion: Right. Well, you said what it was
earlier, so ...
Ross: Say it again. Some people ... Brother Orion:
Push the stop, rewind. Fractionation is you take
someone into and out of trance, or yes, you could say
into and out of different depths of trance. So you get
119
someone into a deep state, where they begin to focus
on every word, and then you talk about how other
conversations aren't like that, but then sometimes
when you really listen ... So you take them in and out
and it increases the depth of trance, very rapidly. Very
rapidly. And also there's a pause that happens when a
girl wants to kiss. She will stop talking; she will look
right at you, and put her head forward a little bit, lean
toward you, her focus fully on you and wait.
Ross: And turn her face ...
Brother Orion: Guys, fulfill your promise.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Please, don't get a, don't, don't, don't
get a woman turned on and then wimp out at the last
second. It's just not fair.
Audience: Laughter
Brother 0nion: You know. God. I mean maybe, you
know, maybe if she's like a, like a, a concert pianist
and she's got really strong fingers, you know, to last
her all night, you know, okay, you can do it with them.
But the one, the one, some of them just don't have the
manual dexterity to keep themselves happy the way
that, that they're going to need to after this kind of
patterning.
Audience: Laughter. Do you do those _____ ?
Ross: For enough batteries.
Brother Orion: Yeah. Stop, rewind. Okay, I'm going to
talk, cause I really don't know which, which clues?
?: Don't worry about it.
Brother Orion: Okay, yeah. Where there's a pause in
the conversation, where she leans forward, sorry,
where she leans forward, where she's focused totally
on you and where she's waiting, she's deliberately not
saying it. It's like, "Oh, my turn to talk?" You know?
There's another linguistic way I set it up. I talk about
kiss. ”Have you ever had a person give you a surprise
kiss? Like maybe you're there and you're thinking
about all the worries of the day or all the hassles or
problems? And suddenly, a person can lean forward
and look deep in your eyes, understand your distress
and give you a kiss that sends an electric thrill
throughout your spine, throughout your whole body
and just lift you up like a bed of clouds. Do you feel
that pleasure, that enjoyment of that kiss? You go
into a space where it's just, you feel so good. And as
you continue to let that happen, you can imagine six
months from now reaching back to recapture the
sweetness of that kiss.”
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: "And finding it just as fresh, farm fresh
...”
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: "Imagine, as it is in this moment.”
Ross: Yes.
Audience: When, when you said like there's a pause
and she's looking at you, even more specifically
looking at your lips ...
Brother Orion: Ooooh, nice, nice.
Audience: I don't know ...
Ross: You look at lips?
Brother Orion: Yeah. She's looking at your lips.
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Orion: Well, interestingly, dah, you're looking
at her lips, too, to see if they're engorged with blood.
That's cool.
Audience: Guys do that, too, and I can tell usually.
Brother Orion: Uh huh. Uh huh.
?: You're sighting the target ...
Ross: She has a lip on.
Brother Orion: She has a lip on. Nice, nice, nice. So, so
something along the lines of ...
Audience: Responses from audience
Brother Orion: I'm just going to run through it really
quickly again so you guys can hear it one more time.
Okay? And notice how similar it is to the first time I
said it, I memorized this pattern. ”Has anyone ever
given you a surprise kiss, like maybe as you're there,
thinking about the worries and stress of your day,
thinking about all the things that have happened?
And suddenly a person can look deep into your eyes,
understand your distress and take a chance with a
surprise kiss that sends an electric thrill throughout
your spine, throughout your body, that lifts you up
like a bed of clouds and lets you feel that wondrous
feeling. As you imagine a time in the future, it's like
you can imagine a time in the future, say six months
from now, reaching back to recapture the sweetness
of that kiss and finding it just as fresh and magical as
it is today. Cause that person was able to take a
chance on you with a surprise kiss.” It'll set them up.
Set them up and then knock them down.
Audience: Laughter
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Brother Orion: Okay? And knock them down. My
god, if you say that kind of a pattern, kiss her
afterwards ...
Ross: Is this fair? Is this fair? Yes.
Audience: Responses from audience. Absolutely.
Brother Orion: What's not fair is not at least taking the
chance. And I believe that, too. You know, a person, a
person has to take a chance at that point, I think, And
it's rigged. The game is rigged. You have to take a
chance. Now women, and it's happened to a lot of
guys I here, women will come on to you, will jump
your bones, it happens, okay? Sorry. You know. This
material might be outdated by other material. But, hey
it doesn't happen a lot of the time and you got to take
a chance. So, you, you can talk about kissing, you
can talk about kissing in a lot of different ways. I think
the blowjob pattern sets up those kinds of things that
kiss.
Ross: Now I'm going to show you a trick guys.
Someone. asked about anchors. I'm going to show
you a trick. Little Kim showed me this cause little Kim
had it done to her by someone else. Here's an anchor I
use. If I talk to a woman about sexual things, I'll make
this face.
Brother Orion: Like a rabbit.
Ross: What I'm doing is I'm biting my lower lip.
Brother Orion: Urn.
Ross: So what, after I get the response from her, let's
say I'm talking about the blowjob pattern and I see her
getting hotter and hotter, I'll go ... And whenever I
want her to go back into that state I'll just look at her
and go ... I've been doing that to you, have you
noticed?
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: You are relentless.
Ross: It's an easy thing to do. So you don't have to
do all these touch anchors or just do a little facial
expression,
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Ross: I'm sorry.
Brother Orion: One thing I forgot to say is that the, is
that the, the blammo pattern also sets you up for
closes pretty good. And when I've been able to get
the blammo pattern off and have them really get into
it, my success rate is very, very high.
Ross: Now, by the way. These patterns, we're going
to demonstrate all these patterns. In fact, he's such a
good teacher, if, with your, with your cooperation ...
Brother Orion: Uh hmmm.
Ross: I'm going to have you back later in the
weekend, to teach some of these patterns.
Brother Orion: Great. I'd love to. And I can teach them
very quickly, which might be helpful.
Ross: Yeah. I think, in fact, I think we may train you at
some point to, to be one of our front s eminar guys, go
out into the boondocks and do seminars for us? What
do you think?
Brother Orion: I could have fun.
Ross: He's pretty good, huh?
Audience: Applause
Brother Orion: Are the boondocks ready for me?
Audience: Applause
Ross: You know, like the Mormon missionaries?
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Who ride their bicycles with their ties ...
Audience: Cheers from audience
Ross: Who peddle into town, set up the tent, you
know?
Brother Orion: I have come to bring joy to, to the
women of rural America.
Audience: _____ Laughter
Brother Orion: I'm on a mission. Hallelujah. Can I hear
it? Hallelujah.
?: _____ Central Asia with that _____ .
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Central Asia?
Audience: Let the Mormons send him out.
Brother Orion: Right.
Audience: Response from audience.
Brother Orion: We are not the Mormons ...
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: We're going to start you out slow. You're going
to Kosovo.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Oh god.
121
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: No, I'm not going to the Central,
Central Asia. Enough with the Mormons. They don't
need the whore man's to ... Physical close. Another
brother used to work a lot with animals. Now, I
haven't seen this movie the, what is it - THE HORSE
WHISPERER? I really want to see it. There's some
great ideas about this guy had about how to
communicate with animals. But it's something that a
lot of guys who are, who are raised on farms are like,
"Yeah, of course, you know, you have to approach
animals with respect to their space.” And you have
to, you have to have a certain congruency. You have
to, which means that your words and behavior match
your action. Or match your, you know, your intention.
Everything is lined up. So when you move towards a
woman with congruency, you're not, you're not
tentative, although test closes are good. You can
move into her space to make a point. You can say,
"God, at sometimes people come to really close to
you, into your space and it feels really good.” Or you
can just do it, to whisper to them, you can use their
space around them and start to get comfortable and
work with that.
Ross: Here's a pattern, I'm coming up with it as he
says it. He said personal space, I really, I immediately
went into patternland. So you're there, back at your
place or her place, and you're ready to test this to see
if she's ready. You go, "You know where I think you
learn a lot about people?" Have you heard this theme
before? "You learn a lot by seeing what their personal
space is and how that changes according to how
comfortable they feel. Like you ever been with
someone ...” point away from yourself You always,
when you describe something you don't want her to
experience with you, point away from yourself "You
ever been with someone and you're not quite that
comfortable and you don't want them that close? So,
you let them know through your body language that
you want them to stay a distance? But then, you ever
been with someone and you just feel magnetically
drawn to this person? You know you're going to get
really close? And so, when they move into your
space, it's like, hmmm, you want more, you want it
closer and closer.”
Brother Orion: Oooh.
Ross: See how comfortable she is with you getting
close to her. And if she's real comfortable, you go ...
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Ross: "That could be a sign.”
Brother Orion: You can describe the process as you
do it.
Ross: The best way to have someone undergo a
process with you is to describe it.
Brother Orion: Uh hmm.
Ross: As part of an interesting topic about "Isn't it
interesting how things happen.” "Aren't things
interesting? You know what? You can learn a lot this
way.”
Brother Orion: And you can describe things as you're
doing them.
Ross: Right.
Brother Orion: And that can intensify the actual
experience they're having.
Ross: And the other thing you can do is if she says,
"We shouldn't be doing this" you describe what
you're not doing as you're doing it. You go ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: "You're right. I shouldn't be lifting up your
blouse ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "And licking your beautiful breasts. I'm not
putting my finger down into your pants.” And, I'm
serious. Have you done this before?
Audience: Yes
Brother Orion: You bet I have.
Ross: Yeah, it works. Just say, "Exactly, you're right,
I'm not, I should not be doing this. You should not be
feeling the intense pleasure ...”
Brother Orion: Okay.
Ross: Go ahead.
Brother Orion: Okay. Let me go ahead, I am going ...
So, moving, okay, using her personal space, testing
her personal space, again, angles are good; 45 degree
angle, 30 degree angle. Coming into her side you can
kiss her ear, her cheek, you can, you don't have to go
directly face-on to kiss her, her on the lips. It could be
ballsy, but it can also be confrontational. So, you
want to, you want to watch you're doing with space.
You want to experiment with different things. And
there's a certain amount of, even though you're
tentative, you're moving at an angle, you're
congruent. You know what you're doing. And you
can also do things like brush the back of her hair, of
her neck and say, "You know, the Japanese think that
122
the back of a woman's body is the most sensuous part
of her. And I don't know if it's because of all those
fine nerve endings.” I'm talking a little quickly here
guys so you can get all the information.
Ross: Ben, you can slow down. That just means the
time on the tape, not the time you can talk.
Brother Orion: Okay. Swap it over. Oh great, good to
know. ”And I don't know if, if it's the most sensuous
part of a woman's body because that's where the
nerve endings are or if it's because they believe that's
where the energy enters your body or if it's because
of all those soft, fine hairs or because they think it's
so attractive, you know, the low-cut kimonos where
you see that beautiful back of a woman's neck.” And
you can be brushing the back of her neck "Or maybe
it's because you can't tell whether it's the soft brush
of a person's fingers or the soft brush of their lips, the
kiss, the touch of your tongue.” Now, a little bit
underhanded here.
Ross: It works. Is, I, I've done this one. Is reach out
for a woman, just brush her, her cheek ...
Brother Orion: Ummm.
Ross: with the side of your hand. If she does this,
she's ready.
Brother Orion: Man, I learned that ...
Ross: That's a real good one.
Brother Orion: I learned that when I was in college
from a 13-year-old kid. I was blown away. This kid
said to me, "Hey, just go ahead and put your, " or,
you know the other thing you can do is grab the back
of their neck and put your hand underneath their ear.
Cup it, yeah, very, very powerful. And if they've, if
they're down with that ...
Ross: _____
Brother Orion: You know, so, so, no please, please.
You actually, you put your thumb on the front of their
ear, you put the rest, your forefingers cupped behind
the back of their head, base of their skull. And you
move them forward. Or if they're turned away from
you, you can take one finger, brush it along the edge
of their chin, and move it over to you. And if they're
moving, they're following your lead, their lips are
coming night to your lips, and boom.
Ross: Another thing you do is, you take their head in
your hands and you kiss the top of their forehead,
you kiss them on the forehead, and then as you go to
move, if, as you go to kiss their forehead they close
their eyes and do this, you know they want more than
a forehead kiss.
Audience: Response from audience.
Brother Orion: Okay. There's another, there's some
other things you can do here. And one of the really
good ones is to g et right into massage. I think
massage rocks. I want to learn more and more about it.
I think it's worth learning about. Books out there,
yeah, video tapes out there, classes out there. You
know, classes at local adult education centers where
you can take a class that's going to be mostly women
and inexpensive.
BREAK IN TAPE
Brother Orion: ... that you move. You carry tension in
a, everybody who carries tension in a different way.
And talk a little bit about the way she does carry
tension in her body.
BREAK IN TAPE
Brother Orion: It's physiological. And of course it
why back, why shoulder rubs are one of the most
popular places to massage. You, and you point, you
say, "You carry tension and you store it right there.”
And you lean over and you start to massage it. And
they almost always let you. Now, this, the reason I
love this, I love this, I love this, is that I can do it
when I'm out at a coffee shop. She doesn't have to be
home with me. And I can do it and they, I don't think
they've ever said no. They might have let me go for
ten or twenty seconds and then back off, but that's
only once or twice, and I've done it a lot. They almost
always let you give them a massage. You can have
them close their eyes, you can do some really heavy
trance stuff when they've got their eyes closed and
you're massaging them. ”You know, some people
think, some people, as they experience a massage and
really feel the pleasure of a massage from someone
who really knows how to give a wonderful massage
cause they've trained s o well. They're able to feel a
certain inside or associate a certain color with that
warmth. So, for example, if you were to think of a color
that you associate with the warmth of those relaxing,
wonderful feeling, what color might you tell me? Red.
And as you see that red getting bigger and brighter
and maybe even wrapping itself around you like a pair
of warm but strong arms, some people can even allow
those thoughts to just penetrate your and put that red
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deep inside you.” Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom. And you light them up. You really, I mean, it is,
it is super. It's one thing to give someone a massage
and have them just sit there, even if you're a really
good masseuse, but it's another thing to talk them
about the experience and connect it up with all kinds
of sexual thoughts, pleasurable feelings, intensity, the
sound of your voice. All kinds of wonderful things
that happen when you use massage effectively. Go
ahead.
?: Another thing about massage is, you can start to
use breathing cause breathing is very powerful ...
Brother Orion: Ummm
?: as it changes states of the body. And what I've
noticed with women as they're having some
resistance, not to, not to the massage, but the
resistance to relaxing the massage, is to start to coach
them in breathing, such as to breathe ...
Brother Orion: Ahhh.
?: ... tense up and relax. And if you think about that
breathing process, where else in the breathing
process of breathing in, tensing and relaxing occur?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Let me get off, let me get off ...
Brother Orion & Audience: Laughter
Ross: And say this. About half the time none of this
would necessary, cause they're going to jump on you.
Half the time, sex ...
?: You're off of ...
Ross: Are the microphones off?
?: It was.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. You're correct. I'm sorry. About
half the time, none of this will be necessary cause
they're going to jump on you. The first few times you
do this and it happens, you may be so -surprised
you're not going to be able to act on it. The famous
story we like to tell is the guy who tried this on a
woman and, at a church social. And they go out to
the parking lot and she says, "I want you to fuck me
right now.” He goes, "Huh?"
Brother Orion & Audience: Laughter
Ross: She says, "Put me on the hood of my car and
fuck me right now.” He says, "But, but the pastor's
going to be out any second.” She said, "I don't want
to fuck the pastor, I want to fuck you.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And, and so she couldn't do it, so she starts
going down on him, and he was so shocked, he
couldn't have any physiological response. It's, it's
fairly common that you're going to be so shocked the
first time this works, you're going to go, "Ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And then you're going to think, "Oh my god,
Ross was right.”
Audience: laughter
Ross: "Oh my god, Ross.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Was right.”
Brother Orion: So, one thing I want to add to that ...
Ross: Does this feel right to you?
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Is just something, it's sort of random
that came to me is that a lot of people are wondering,
well, you know, wonder when they see somebody
who's getting really good results, has he always been
getting these kinds results before he got this material,
is it his looks, is it how ... ? But I'm telling you, for
myself, I was not getting the results before I had
these skills that I'm getting now. Absolutely not. And
I've seen it happen with a lot of people who are just
not getting results. And they studied it and they
applied
themselves and they made a commitment to improve
this part of your life, which is a really important part.
And improve that part of a lot of women's lives. Or
maybe just that one special one.
?: That sacred space.
Brother Orion: That sacred space inside. Progressive
massage is really good because it, when you're out at
the coffee shop and you're giving her a massage like
this, you can start talking about, "Gosh, it's so much
nicer to give someone a massage when they're lying
down or, you know, I give really great full body
massages" that kind of thing. Yes.
Audience: Okay. You, you're in a relationship with a
woman that's ...
Brother Orion: Okay. That's sort of not what I'm
talking about, but okay.
Audience: Response from audience
Audience: ... did you, did you move into quickly and
124
then you realized, you know, she's not your type, you
don't like her that much. And, you know, how do you
move out of that one?
Brother Orion: You want a different kind of close.
Audience: Damaging her.
Brother Orion: You're asking about a different kind of
close than I'm teaching here. But okay.
Ross: I'll tell you what. That's an excellent question
but it's ...
Brother Orion: I'll, let me, let me just say a couple of
things about it, then I'm move in, move out of it. I
think you should find out that information before you
get into a relationship with her. Okay? I really do. I
think you should, that's why the handwriting analysis
cards are great. I don't think you should get in
relationships with people you don't want to be in
relationships with. However, you can structure it and
let somebody know in different ways how you want
the relationship to go and what kind of experience ...
Major Mark talks about, you know, having it
structured as you're the person who's mad, bad and
dangerous to be with, and who's not going to be
there. You know? And, so it's, it's up to you what you
communicate, but I think you have, you do have a
responsibility to, to let somebody know ultimately,
you know, what's, what your intention is. You know,
in terms of, of what kind of relationship you want to
have them. Especially with somebody who, that you
start to get involved in because a lot of people are
going to make assumptions if you don't tell them.
?: The lock-it pattern.
Major Mark: You have an obligation to be honest
with them, you know, about who you are and what
you're up to. And yet the obligation to respect them
enough to allow them to make their own decision and
to respect the decision they come to. Okay? Now the
fact is, because women are people, they are a lot of
them who are remarkably similar to us in their running
around and they're looking for different levels of
adventure at different types or different places in their
life.
Brother Orion: Yep. And I'm going to ask you also if
you, if you don't mind to, to go through the lock-it
pattern if you get some time to do that ...
Major Mark: Sure
Ross: That's what I want you to do, Major Mark, is do
an hour or so on structuring your seductions so that
you remain in control of the situation rather than meet
some _____ .
Major Mark: Okay, sure.
Brother Orion: He, he, Major Mark has a pattern
basically the lock-it pattern, which allows you to have
closure to the, to the, to the relationship, to leave
relationship and still let them have all those good
feelings and resources that you've let them have like a
treasure, like a gift, life a magic spell for them and
carry around for the rest of their life.
Ross: A quick answer though is the best way to avoid
harming them or damaging them in your world is to
never at any point do anything that is damaging to
them. It's really that simple.
Brother Orion: You don't seem convinced.
Audience: Well, if you're not there and _____ the
greatest thing that ever happened.
Ross: Well, you're not responsible for everything that
she thinks, feels, does, whatever, okay? Now, if you
show her an aspect of masculinity, if show her a type
of man that turns out to be something she's wanted,
needed, dreamt of for a long time, it's not your
responsibility to now hang around forever so that she
can continue to have this.
Brother Orion: Let me just say one more thing.
Ross: It doesn't make sense.
Brother Orion: Which is that, which is that if they've
left behind the best thing that's ever happened to
them, you know, well, is that such a bad thing?
Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: Well, I'm sorry, but I don't mean, I don't
mean, I'm not saying whether they left or you left, but
whether they had something that was wonderful and
it was the best thing that's ever happened to them,
they've learned something about what's possible.
And it think that, that a lot of women have available
to them resources to if they can't find the kind of
person they want to be with to, to create change in
people to have, women do it, project boyfriends, you
know? I don't want to be somebody's project
boyfriend anymore. But there are a lot of guys out
there who are perfectly willing to get adapted into the
kind of man that a girl wants him to be, wants him to
be.
Audience: Quick comment here. As far as damaging, I
was very lucky early on when I was in a relationship I
didn't want to be, was I was learning NLP and what I
did is I literally just took the anchor that she had set
to me and I set it to the concept of finding even more
of what she was looking for in ways she hadn't even
125
thought of yet.
Brother Orion: Yep. Yep.
Audience: So that way she went from he's a great guy
but what else is out there that I haven't considered
and I haven't experienced? And so she started to get
passionate off looking for that, that left me off the
hook, I was still a great guy, and her life was
improving.
Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: Just because what she had with you doesn't
mean that her ability to experience these kinds of
feelings again in her life is over. In fact, that you
structured it the right way, she'll draw the conclusion
that she can experience this again in different and new
and wonderful ways.
Brother Orion: Yep. I, I want to move on ...
Ross: Let's move on ...
Brother Orion: Which is great that the invitation, you
know, is, can often be something as simple as, you
know, "Do you want to come back to my house for a
poem? I write great poems.” "Do you want to come
back to my place for a massage?" I don't say it like
that, "Do you want to?" Bu t there's lots of ways to
use presuppositions of "How much fun would you
have coming back to my house for a massage?" Or
you can take them by their hands at some point and
lead them, if they're sitting on your couch, you can
just absolutely reach out and g rab their hands and if
they follow you, they're going to follow you.
Ross: Ask them, "Is this something you're ready to
act on?"
Brother Orion: Oooh, "Is this something you're ready
...” Yeah, that was a great one. Somebody said
something about ...
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: No, first thing, express, they'll express that, , ,
"No, you know, I'm, I'm very attracted to you.”
Brother Orion: "Is that, is this something you'd like ...”
Ross: That's something _____ you want to act on.
Now.
Brother Orion: Oooh, right. Now. Keep going. You
know, you can do things physically until she
expresses that you don't want her to do them. If
you're giving her a massage and she's letting you
keep going, but, when she says stop, you stop. You
absolutely stop.
Ross: There's a difference between, "Ummm, don't,
don't" and "DON'T.” Okay? Don't means you stop,
but "Umm, ummm ...”
Brother Orion: So, and, and women are not that
responsive physically or, or verbally in terms of they
can be really enjoying it, getting off on it, but they
just don't feel comfortable expressing it, so they're
going to let you keep going. I had this, I had this
experience Just recently, something that Metaman
and I have been working with is just going for it, you
know, an initial talk and just, you know, starting to
touch them in ways that turn them on and, you know,
even if it's a crowded room, a lot of times they'll let
you go for it. If it's feeling good and it fits in their, you
know, value set ...
Audience: _____ sparks off the guardrail.
Brother Orion: Yep. Put the fun meter to the red line
and make sparks off the guardrail.
Major Mark: It's very erotic to, to experience the
personal touch in a public place.
Brother Orion: And if I, if I see a woman's got, got a
_____ , got, has a, has, oh, physiological responses
like goosebumps, I'll ratify them. Ratify another
technical term. But if you, if you express that you
recognize the physiological change in a woman that's
an indication of trance or, or excitement, it intensifies
it. ”Oh, oh, I notice those goosebumps. I love giving a
woman goosebumps in public.” Those goosebumps
get bigger quick, or "Oooh, you're shaking. Wow, you
must really be enjoying this.” These kinds of things.
You, you ratify the experience that you're getting. So,
the other one that somebody just gave me this
weekend, I, somebody's got to tell me who it was, who
gave this, somebody's got to raise their hand, but
"Let's go for a walk. Gee, where are we going to walk
to?" You've got to give me five on that one. That's
awesome. ”Where are we going to take a walk to?"
"The cafe near my house.” "Hmm, we're going to take
a walk.” Gee, we'll just start walking and walk to my
house.
?: What happened, what happened was like, I met
this, this girl for coffee, I always have them meet me
near my house.
Brother Orion: Right.
?: And, you know, I develop a rapport and everything
is going really well. I say, you know, after, I said,
"Let's go for a walk.” And I just walked her right back
to my place.
Brother Orion: Yep
126
?: I find that if you ask, you're opening yourself up to
a problem.
Brother Orion: And, I've, I've been hanging out with
some guys, you know, who aren't into this stuff and,
and I've been talking to girls and they say, "Man, you
could have asked her back to her, back to your place,
you know, like right then.” And I was like, "Really? I
mean I got her phone number and the date.” But man,
they're right. You know, a lot of the times if you ask
them back to your place, you know, if you've been
doing this stuff right, they're going to go for it. If, and
especially if you structure it right, if you take them by
the hand and, you know, and if you are having fun
with it. And a lot of times you'll get some resistance
and you can keep going. Just because they say, "No"
you know, they might just be convincing themselves,
they might just need some help. Okay? All right. Well
a couple of people had questions.
Ross: Dr. Yates has a comment.
Brother Orion: Go.
Yates: When you're talking about closing, what's your
processes, all the ones that have _____ , great _____
at what a guy out in L. A. _____ . You know to, he
met the girl and they went out to dinner and over
dinner he says, you know, "What has to happen, you
know, before us to, you know, get more intimate.” She
says, "Well normally, you know, before I go to bed
with a guy, " says, says, "I have to see him at least six
times.” And he says, "Oooh, so if I go to the
bathroom and come back, that's twice.”
Ross/Brother Orion/Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Oh. Wow.
Yates: And he, he saw her at work over the next
couple of days and every time he saw her, he says,
"That three times.”
Audience: Laughter Yates: "That's four times.”
Brother Orion: Wow.
Yates: And she says, "And for you I might make an
exception.”
Audience: laughter.
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Ross: That kind of cocky, outrageous attitude, cocky,
outrageous, engaging, outgoing.
Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: We'll, we'll do an exercise with you.
Brother Orion: One other thing is that, is that this
stuff can often be fun with it, with another guy, you
know, hanging out with another guy.
Yates: This is the end of Side 11 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar.
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Tape 6 – Side 2
Yates: This is Side 12 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed
Seduction Seminar
Brother Orion: One other thing is, is that this stuff can
often be fun with it, with another guy, you know,
hanging out with another guy, big groups of people
you're not going to get a response, and when you
want to do it, a lot of times it's all about going out on
your own. You know? Not hanging out with other
people or to impress your friends, but going out by
yourself. And I recently had an experience when I was
with, with Brother Kamal over at his place and we had
a couple of girls there. One of them was not into the
fact that I was getting as far with her friend as I was.
She was very apprehensive about that whole
situation. I find it very interesting, but her friend was
really getting into it and like we were trying to be
discreet, you know. She was getting turned on. I'm at
the other end of the couch, her friend would lean
forward and I'd move back. So anyway, I said, I
whispered in her ear, "I'm going downstairs. I want
you to come with me.” And I grabbed her hand and
she let go. And so I just kept walking. I came back
and I was cold. I just, you know, there's your space,
there's my space. She went upstairs and she, she went
upstairs and we were watching a videotape and there
was a dog barking. And you know, we'd, we'd seen
the whole place. Obviously, the TV has the dog on it.
She goes, "Do you have a dog up here? Is there a dog
up here?" There will be.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Okay?
Ross: And now, there's a real interesting p. s. to this
story. You wound up telling her what you did.
Brother Orion: Yes.
Ross: And what was her response? Remember that ...
Brother Orion: Oh, god. She sent me a great e-mail.
She loved, okay, first of all, she said to me at the end
of the night, she said, "I have never even kissed a
guy that I haven't known for at leas t six months.”
Okay? She sends me an e-mail, okay, and her friend
knew about the, knew about the article, the ROLLING
STONE article, and, and, cause Kamal had given it to
her. And her friend wouldn't tell her about it. So I
figured why am I going to tell her about it. Her friend
doesn't want to tell her, fine. But at the end,
she wanted it, her friend wanted to give it to her, and
eventually she traced it down and got it, which was
great, I was going to send it to her. And she sent me
an e-mail. I was wondering, you know, what kind of
response is going to happen here. She sent me an
email and she's, she's saying, "Wow, it was a great
article. I really liked it.” She's saying things like, like,
"You know, I was wondering if it was, you know,
because of what, what you were saying because I
think you're really a cool guy, but ...” And she started
saying all these things about my personality like solid
things about what I've done in my life, the kind of
adventurous life I've lived. And saying, you know,
"Even if it wasn't for this, I'd still find you really
interesting and attractive.” She's not saying that that,
that it didn't work on her, but she is saying, you
know, she's, she's rationalizing, she's giving herself all
these reasons to have the intense response that she
had and it's really cool. And she says, and she says
things like, things like, "Now, I don't mean to, you
know, I don't mean to seem, I don't know, too ego, too
egotistical or something, but I'd be, I'd love to have a
chance to see you again.” It was very flattering. Yeah,
she's like, she's like almost self-deprecating in her, in
her, you know, if, you know, "I don't mean to, I'm not
the kind of woman, " what did she say? "I'm not the
kind of woman who wants to entrap you" or
something like that. Or you know, "tie you down, but
it would just be wonderful to get together with you
sometime.”
Ross: "I'm not the sort of woman who would throw
myself at you, but having said that ...”
Brother Orion: Right.
Audience: Laughter
?: _____ I don't know if this is real or _____ your
trance subject or something. Remember the name she
used?
Brother Orion: I don't think she said trance subjects,
but ...
?: It was a different name, it was really cute. She
basically said, "You know, I know you're doing this to
me, but I don't care because it feels ...”
Brother Orion: Right.
?: " ... so good ...”
Brother Orion: Right.
?: " ... I'm going along for the ride.”
Brother Orion: Exactly. Exactly. And the part that I
loved is where, you know, she's she's just giving
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herself all of the reasons to feel all the feelings that
she feels. And she specifically says that she's not
trying to tie me down or get me into a relationship.
She just wants to see me again. Okay?
Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: How, how about if I get a rousing
round of applause.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Arousing and arousing ...
?: Arousing applause.
Brother Orion: Aaah.
Ross: Aaah, you're always playing. We want to make
sure that we edit out the reference to the ROLLING
STONE article because it'll confuse people as to when
this set came out. Okay? What do I keep hearing?
Beep, beep?
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: What is beep, beep?
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Who's going beep, beep?
Audience: Somebody's cell phone or battery's low.
Ross: Okay, that's all right. That's not, I was just
wondering what the hell that was.
Audience: It's a time bomb. Responses from audience.
Ross: Ah, I don't have one ...
Audience: Yeah, I'm going to get one.
Ross: Ah, still on the _____ , ROLLING STONE is still
on the newsstands.
?: Hold it, Ross. Library, library
Audience: Responses from audience
?: February 98?
Ross: It was February and I think its issue 718.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Kate Winslet on the cover.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: I don't want to get into it. They just ...
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Time?
?: It took two hours.
Ross: Okay. Well, let's take a 10 minute break.
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: Let me just say, I don't install anything into
anyone. This is NLP mythology concerning _____ to
intimidate you _____ . Someone said earlier that he
was concerned that I installed something in someone
that was not useful or against their values. Well let me
just say, this is bullshit. This whole thing about
installing things, this is what NLP trainers use to
intimidate you into thinking, "You better not fuck with
me or I'll install impotence or whatever, you know.”
As a matter of fact, the only thing I can do is, any
hypnotist can do, is structure opportunities for your
unconscious to respond. If your unconscious doesn't
like what I'm offering, guess what? It has no power to
affect you in any way. If it does like it, it will pick it up
and run with it. Okay? And also I know, one of the
things about me is I don't offer a set of values for you
to operate off of. All I do is put a set of tools out on
the table. To the extent that they conflict with your
values, don't pick them up. To the extent, the thing is
you may not know how far you can go with it, so you
don't know whether it conflicts or not. But I'm not
attempting to tell you that you should use this to be,
you know, a sexual shark, swimming to the waters of
singledom, gobbling down every morsel you see. Nor
am I telling you to find that one monogamous, happy
relationship. All I'm saying is these are tools, go out
and use them. Okay? Now, we're going to bring up
Major Mark.
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Major Mark is going to take you through the
end of the day. Major Mark is going to go at n uclear
warp speed so, oh, you had a question. Yes, ask.
Audience: Well, two questions.
Ross: Ask.
Audience: Number one I wanted to ask you about
setting up themes to get the pattern ...
Ross: Uh huh. What specifically about that did you
not understand?
Audience: How to go about it.
Ross: Okay. It's a process of asking myself questions.
It's a process for you of asking yourself questions.
Okay? Now the question you want to ask yourself is,
you pick a topic and you say, "What's interesting to
me about this?" Okay? That's the first question. You
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write whatever answer you get down. And then you
write, "How does that happen?" Then you write that
down. And that answer to that question, the
description of how that happens, is what you will use
for your pattern. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Now the next question you ask is, "What else is
interesting to me about this?" And then you just run
it through the same thing. ”How does that happen?"
And you get another description. Do you get it? Does
that make sense? Does it? I'm not hearing a strong,
congruent yes. Does it make sense?
Audience: What you're saying is first I pick a topic ...
Ross: Yes.
Audience: And then I'm supposed to go, "What is
interesting about the topic?"
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: What do I find ...
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: that I ...
Ross: Right.
Audience: And I describe-the process ...
Ross: The way you describe the process is by asking
yourself the question, "How does that happen?"
"How does that happen?" Okay?
Audience: And I describe everything that I like about
it.
Ross: No, I didn't say like. You're confusion is with
the word like. I didn't say like. I said, "How does that
happen?" Okay? I'm not talking about preferences.
This is not about getting people to decide whether
they're going to make a choice or not. Okay? This is
about discovering what a process is. Okay. Listen to
me. Here's where your confusion is. You still think
that I'm trying to give people reasons to do
something. You still think that patterns are about
coming up for reasons to convince someone to make
a rational decision to do something you want them to
do. That's not what it's about. When I describe
something for you, what it does is, it installs a state.
Now let's talk about this. Do you understand what I
mean by state of mind?
Audience: Yes
Ross: What do you think I mean by state of mind?
Can you give me an example of a state of mind?
Audience: It means ready to accept something.
Ross: That's one state of mind. What would be
another of mind? How about fascination? Is that a
state of mind?
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Sure. Okay. If I wanted you to be fascinated, I
could give you reasons. I should go, "The reason you
should be fascinated with me ...” What's your name?
Audience: Amos.
Ross: Amos. ”The reason you s hould be fascinated
with me is what I'm going to tell you is really going to
help you improve your life and you're going to get
lots of women. So that's why you should be
fascinated with me.” Okay? That's not what a pattern
is. A pattern describes the process of how someone
becomes fascinated. So I would say, instead of giving
you reasons, trying to talk you into it, telling you
what I like about it or what you should like about it.
Instead, I'm going to describe how it happens. I'd say,
"You know, you ever been totally fascinated with
someone? You ever meet some and he continued to
listen carefully and really look? It's as if the rest of the
environment just disappears and your entire world
becomes this face, this voice, this learning experience
you're continuing to have. So that the more you just
keep looking, Amos, it's almost as if the rest of the
environment disappears itself and your entire world is
what you're experiencing right now. And the more
you continue to go into that place, all the way into
that place, I find, in my experience, when I just let go,
all the way, all the way deep inside.” Now, did you go
into that state?
Amos: Yes
Ross: Did you go in because I gave you reasons to
do it? Okay. So what you're misunderstanding was,
you thought it was important to say, to ask, what you
like about that. No, you want to describe the process.
The question is how does that happen? You
understand? Now is it cleared up?
Amos: Yes
Ross: Okay, good. We need to give him, for having
the courage to ask a question, we need to give him
some kind of prize. So, do you have THE
UNSTOPPABLE CONFIDENCE tapes?
Amos: Yes
Ross: You do. Do you have Kim's SUPER TONALITY
tape?
Amos: No.
130
Ross: Okay, we'll give, give him Kim's SUPER
TONALITY tape. I'll pay for it, Bunny, so you can get
your commission. Okay. I meant it when I said ask
questions; I meant it. Now what was your second
question? Real quick cause Major Mark's chomping at
the bit.
Amos: Okay.
Audience: Laughter.
Amos: _____ visualization on the pyramid. Now I can
see a
pyramid but part of it was light, part of it was dark and
it was absolutely no color.
Ross: Okay. You want to change that real fast? It'll
take me 30 seconds. May I cut into your time? Can
you see the pyramid now?
Amos: Yes.
Ross: Okay. Put your eyes at a 45 degree angle. Look
up, look, put your eyelids up at a 45 degree angle.
Now you have it, your eyelids. Take a deep breath
and with your lips blow the color into the pyramid. So
see the color going into the pyramid with your breath.
Inhale again. Now blow that color out through your
breath into the pyramid. You notice how that begins
to help?
Amos: Yes. The side that's dark is getting lighter.
Ross: Exactly. Okay. So learn to control your own
dials. Okay. I'm going to bring up Major Mark. It's my
honor and pleasure to bring up the person who has
so influenced my thinking. You going to give him this
one or mike him up, cause I'm going to sit down. It's
his stage.
Major Mark: Actually I prefer that one cause I live to
wave ...
Ross: Okay.
Major Mark: around a lot.
Ross: So let's ...
Audience: Laughter
BREAK IN TAPE
Audience: Applause
Major Mark: You looked very good in tux.
Ross: I looked good in my tux. Okay, ladies and
gentlemen, Major Mark.
Audience: Cheers and applause.
Major Mark: I always love these first parts of the
presentations. You know, the wild applause, the
screaming and all that, you know?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay, okay. And now for something
completely different. Okay, okay? What I want to talk
about is something, this may have been touched on
before, I don't know. I took a major nap yesterday, so
I'm not entirely sure what went on before. But
something that keeps coming up is the concept is
how does this stuff work? Why does this stuff work?
When will it work for me? I want to explain something
that is both very, very simple and extremely powerful.
Okay? And this is in line with what I do because I
mentioned yesterday I'm really, really lazy. Okay? I'm
also really, really impatient, okay? Everything I want, I
want now. If I've gone, to all the trouble of taking 5 or
5 nanoseconds to come up with an idea, I want it now.
Right? You know? Why wait? So, what I'm going to
be talking about are things that are both simple and
powerful. They apply to everything that you're going
to be learning throughout the basic course. They're
going to apply to everything that you're going to be
doing for the rest of your life. Okay? So let's start with
something really, really simple. And that is words
have power. Words themselves are sourc es of
enormous power. Okay? We're all wired in a certain
way. We all have a predisposition towards language
use. Every human brain, not the mind, the mind is the
part that's thinking and talking, making decisions, but
there's also this piece of flesh that house all these
neurons fining away here and there's all these cross-
connections. That's the brain. And the brain
accommodates what are known as deep language
structures. That is, we instinctively look for ways to
categorize and express that which we experience as
language. So while, if you grow up in a certain part of
Europe, you start out speaking French before you do
anything else. Okay? You grow up here, you start out
speaking English, maybe, depending on where you
live. Okay? Or you grow up in China, you're speaking
Chinese, but you grow up using language. Why is
this? It's because we need a way to structure our
experience of reality. Now there's lots of folklore
floating around like how many Eskimo words are there
for snow? Well, depending on which exp ert you talk
to, it's anywhere from a lot to a whole lot. Okay? But
they have, they have lots of different words to talk
about various specific things. Most of the time when
we use a word, we're working with a consensual or a
common definition. Okay? So if I say chair, you all
131
know roughly what a chair is. You don't know which
style of chair I'm referring to. It could be a Queen
Anne antique okay? It could be one of these
utilitarian chairs; it could be anything okay? You
don't know which chair I'm talking about; it's not
specific, but you've got a concept of chairness. Okay?
So we can start to use these very basic concepts to
communicate one another. It's what enables us to join
the information and the knowledge that we have to
work together and to benefit us all. Okay? Well
sometimes it's beneficial to come up with entirely new
words. Popular culture does this all the time. We do it
all the time. We've got a word that we call google.
Okay? Bow many people know what google is? Okay.
A little over half google is that state that you are in
when you no longer give a shit about self-confidence
and instead you're just going out to get the maximum
benefit and pleasure out of each and every moment in
your life. Okay? Self-confidence is no longer
necessary because if you have google, you're
automatically moving towards maximizing your
experience of life. So we can invent new things, but if
it didn't exist before, if it didn't have a name before,
how is it that when we come up with this word, all of a
sudden it's real, all of a sudden it's true? It's because
there's a very simple process that is part of these deep
structures I'm talking about that we go through. Each
and every one of us. It's the way we're wired. Okay?
He was talking earlier about something I like to talk
about a lot, which is forget outcomes, forget specific
outcomes. Instead look for very predictable structures
that everyone has that you can get, you can use to
get what you want. Okay? So, when we name a thing,
we make it real. If you know the name of something, it
exists. And you can convince someone else that it
exists as well. As you begin to describe it, it comes to
life. Think about this. Okay? If I say chair, you go,
okay, yeah chair, I got it. And I go, well, aluminum
chair, roughly three and a half feet tall, it's got a green
fabric pillow on it, maybe a red leather back. Okay?
And it's sitting three feet to you left oriented 45
degrees off towards the north. Well all of a sudden
you have a much better idea about it. Okay? If I say
can you rememb er a vacation spot? Ooh, yeah, they
can. Well maybe it was at the beach. And on that
beach you can feel white sand compressing from my,
underneath each and every step. You can feel the
onshore breeze with that tang of salt air, the birds
crying overhead, the rustle of the palm fronds, the
smell of the coconut oil is drifting on down the beach,
the snap of the bikini string as she unfastens to roll
over. Okay? Oh, yeah, it's getting better and better,
isn't it?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: It's becoming real because you're using
language in a very powerful way. Okay? Now, what
we aim at, what we talk about a lot is the way in which
you use language structures to create a beneficial
reality, a very pleasant reality. Okay? Is this the only
thing that we do? No. The reason we're in this line of
work is that each and every person in this room has,
at some in their life, used language in a bad way.
Okay? Let me give you an example. There's something
I was working on the plane as we were coming up
here. I have these interests and I have these
obsessions and I have these projects. Okay? Ooh,
they all came real, oh god. Okay. What I'm working on
these days is how to take bad things and turn them
into powerful good things. Okay? Cause I get, I have
a therapeutic practice. Okay? And it's because I'm
hooked on talking to women and I'm really lazy and I
only do things I get paid for. Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: So, what better line of work for a guy like
me than to have women pay me to listen to them
discover their innermost secrets and make them feel
wonderful. Okay? It's a good job.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: But, people come to me and they have
desires and behaviors that are not acting in their best
interests. There's this thing we have, back up, back
up, back up. Rewind. Thank you, Ben. All of us are
capable of going in and out of trance. We do it all the
time. Okay? That's why I work as a hypnotist and the
easiest thing in the world for me to do is to teach
people how to go into trance, cause all I have to do is
teach them how to recognize how they've been going
into trance all their life and then say, "Now, do it
again and listen carefully as I explain something.”
Okay? That's it. Okay? At 150 bucks an hour all day,
every day, right? So, there's this thing, people go into
trance all the time, they do it outside their conscious
awareness, they do it repeatedly. Now there are good
trances, like when you daydream about something
wonderful and you emerge from this daydream feeling
relaxed, refreshed, feeling great, new ideas about
possibilities in your life. There's this thing called
pathological trance. A pathological trance is a belief, a
behavior, a mindset, an attitude that acts in
conjunction with other things like this to limit your
choices. Okay? Now let me give you a really good
example. Okay? There's this thing called a compulsion
and a compulsion is defined as an irresistible urge to
perform an unnatural act.
132
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Every time I talk about this, sheep get
into the conversation.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: I don't know what it is. Okay? Okay.
Choices of language and here, ooh, I didn't spell that
correctly. Just assume this says irresistible. Okay? An
irresistible urge to perform an unnatural act. Okay?
So, if we were to look at this, many people think that
compulsions are bad. People come to me all the time,
they say, "How dare you work with compulsions.
These are bad things, bad, bad, bad, bad.” Okay?
People say that a lot when I'm talking. Okay? What we
have here is a failure to understand things clearly.
You look for perjoratives. Perjoratives are negative
connotations that are applied to words. Which if you
accepted that concept as true would tell you that a
word, a word exists, it refers to something that's real
as you u se it in description that brings it to life, well
you could start doing bad things. And that would be
a bad thing. Look at this one right here. Unnatural act.
What does unnatural mean? Well, in the popular
parlance, unnatural means deviant. Okay? It's a bad
thing, it's an unnatural act. What unnatural actually
means is it is not something that you would naturally
do. It is not part of the patterns in your life, the
patterns that you typically use as a substitute for
thought. Okay? There are a lot of patterns we use in
our life to avoid thinking. Okay. Belief systems are
patterns we use to avoid thinking. A dogma is
something we use to avoid thinking. Okay. So if we
look at this and said an irresistible urge to perform an
unnatural act, we could do a very rational thing, that
must have sounded wonderful, we could do a very
rational thing and simply redefine for everyone in the
room well unnatural means, but since we're all learning
how to be hypnotists and we're all already great guys
and we don't do negative things, what if you just
cross that part off? And I say compulsion, an
irresistible urge to' perform an act? Ooh, that sounds
pretty good doesn't it? That could be used as part of
a propulsion -system. That could move you
irresistibly into a , highly desirable future. Okay?
When we're building our pictures, we might want to
look and say, "Where have we had a compulsion in
our life?" Okay? "Where have we been compelled to
do something? Where do we keep that memory and
what would happen if in that very same spot we were
to just blank out the previous content, keep the power
and put in a new picture?" Oooh, yeah. And you
could make that picture bigger; you could move it
right into your immediate future? And you could turn
that fucker up?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: All right? Sounds good. Let's look at
another one, another example of sloppy, sloppy
language. Okay? Ooh, ooh, ooh, this is one of my
ail-time favorites. Constraint. A constraint, well it
means many things, but one possible meaning is a
repression of one's own feelings, behaviors or
actions. Okay. I used to do a lot of work with
engineers; I used to be an engineer, spent 18 years in
the software industry. This is after I stopped shooting
people and before I started healing people. Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: And one of the things you do as an
engineer is you're paid to solve problems. People
pose problems to you and then you go ahead and
you find a series of solutions and then you pick you
ideal solution. Well, as you do so, one of the first
questions you ask yourself are, "What are the
constraints?" If you're working on a product design,
for example, you want to know what is all the desired
functionality, what are the things it can't do, like in the
software world, what are, what are the things that it
must not do in order to keep the overall environment
running? You know, the Microsoft environment, so it
only crashes three times a day instead of twelve.
Audience: laughter
Major Mark: Okay? Or constraints can be
environmental factors like you could define, you
could design the best software product ever, but if it
would cost 3, 000 dollars a copy, you're not going to
sell all that much. But if sell it at $39. 95, you're going
to sell just a bazillion of these things. Okay?
Constraints are rules and boundaries that you place
around the area within which you solve your problem.
Okay? Well, gosh, constraints have another meaning
as well though. A constraint is a repression of one's
own feelings, behaviors and actions. So if you were to
look at how do I go about solving the problem of my
life, how do I go about designing new behaviors, new
belief systems, new attitudes and new actions so that
my life gets better than it, I ever, you know, imagined
in my wildest imaginings? Everyone starts out and
they build a box. Okay? And within this box is where
we're going to devise our solutions. The boundary of
the box is the constraint. Well, what is a constraint? A
constraint is that area in which you have a repression
of your own feelings, behaviors and actions. Okay?
Listen to yourself talk to yourself. Because if you
start thinking about constraints, not only do you say,
for example, that, you know, I'm inside a box but it's
133
attractive because it's my box. You know? You also
say that there's all this area outside the box. There are
a million, a billion potential solutions outside the box.
What keeps you from moving outside the box?
Constraints. What is a constraint? It's a repression of
your own feelings, behaviors and actions. We were
talking earlier today about obstacles. Okay? And how
obstacles are perceived. Obstacles are constructs in
our mind. There are very, very few natural obstacles.
I'll give you an example of a natural obstacle. Okay? I
used to be a top-ranked shooter. Okay? I could go
anywhere in the world, pick up my tool, compete, and
come out very, very well. Now, in the interim, I have
had two accidents, one of which damaged my left eye,
one of which damaged my right eye. Ooh, bad thing.
It's a physical constraint. There's absolutely nothing I
can do about that, So, I don't compete in that
particular level any more. Now they go out shooting, I
go talk to their wives. Right?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay. However, there are no other
constraints in the rest of my life. I can do anything I
want. I can think anything I want and believe
anything I want. I don't accept the idea of constraints.
When I find something that's an obstacle, the first
thing I do is I think, speed bump, okay? An obstacle
is this little blip in the road that let's me know that,
whoa, something just happened there, maybe I ought
to slow down, maybe I ought to go around next time,
maybe I'm driving down the wrong fucking street.
Okay? But, it's now longer this huge thing looming in
my mind because I have redefined it. And as I start
using new terms, as I use new words, I build new
realities and by describing it to myself, I bring it to
life. Does this make sense? Say yes.
Audience: Yes
Major Mark: I like this. Okay. Let me give you one
more example. Okay? People also get down on me
cause I like to talk about, well we won't do dominance.
We'll do obsessions. Okay? I'll make you do
dominance.
Ross: There's nothing wrong with dominance.
Audience: Do dominance.
Major Mark: Dominance, dominance is really simple.
The actual definition of dominance is to exert the
supreme or determining influence. Okay? It does not
mean to control. It does mean to, you know, hook her
up to a leash and drag her around the room. Instead, it
means you are the most powerful influence in
someone's life. Now, does that sound like a negative
thing? Well, maybe not. It depends on what you're
doing. All these things are value free, okay? Words
don't have anywhere near the power that most people
think, even though they control everyone's reality.
How can this be? Well, Lenny Bruce was right. And
Lenny Bruce made a very nice living off of talking
about things that you're not supposed to talk about.
Okay? Lenny Bruce used to be able to stand up in
front of an audience and say "fuck" and people would
applaud while even paying for it. You know? I think
I've got a good job, jeez. But the thing is, words are
value-free, it's the connotation and the notion of
reality that you bring to them that determine whether
they're helpful or they're harmful. Okay. Now let's do
obsessions.
Audience: Are _____ connotations, are they are
_____ .
Major Mark: Yeah. Perjority means negative and
negative in this sense means it hurts somebody.
Okay. I, I am a real big believer on good things, bad
things. I mentioned this before. In my life, good
things are that which expand your possibilities and
make you feel good. Bad things are things which
restrain your possibilities and hurt you. Now, I'm not
talking about did it hurt your feelings. I'm talking
about did it puncture this bag of fluids and you're
leaking. Okay? I'm not tremendously concerned about
whether someone has hurt feelings or not because I
can't control that. I have no idea what garbage has
been placed in your mind and you've been practicing
for the past 20 years. Not my problem. Okay? But, if I
haul off and I'm gesturing wildly and I whack you in
the side of the head, that's a bad thing. Okay? I've
entered into your personal space as Brother Orion
said and yeah, in a very direct way and it didn't turn
out very well. Okay. Obsessions. A persistent
disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable,
oh, idea or feeling. Okay. A persistent disturbing
preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or
feeling. Do you get the idea that the people who write
these dictionaries are like trying to get a point across?
You know? Persistent, disturbing, preoccupation,
unreasonable. Well, what does this really mean? You
know what an obsession is, right? It's a thought that
gets into your head and you just can't let go. All
right? I just came from Disney World and I really
worked hard to avoid anything that was going "It's a
small, small world.”
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Because these people are very clever.
That thing will stick in your mind for months. All
right. An obsession is an id ea that gets into your
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head from whatever way, whatever cause and it just
haunts you. Okay? You can't get it out of your head.
So, let's look at this again. Persistent, that's not too
bad. Disturbing; what does disturbing mean? It means
it is interrupted the normal progression or the normal
reality that you've got running inside your head. It
has disturbed it. If you go out to a flowerbed and
move the dirt a little bit around, you have disturbed
the dirt. Have you caused the dirt nightmares?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: No. Okay? All it means is to move out of
the normal order. Preoccupation; what is a
preoccupation? Or how does it manifest itself? If you
were to imagine the movie screen right in front of you
that you're playing your entire life, okay, and now
right in front of you, in your own person movie
theater, you have a large, unpleasant woman wearing
a large hat, okay, you would be preoccupied with the
fact that she was blocking your view. It takes a central
point, a focus within your life. Okay? Often
unreasonable, unreasonable; what does that mean? It
means it doesn't make a lot of sense. But wait a
minute. We've been talking about intuition. Intuition
is a good thing. We all want it; we're going to be
practicing it. But where is the rationale behind
intuition? Where is the clear and obvious mechanism
that intuition uses? Well, you can't see it, that's the
whole point. Okay? It's unreasonable. So, let's strike
out these things that have the messy, messy
ambiguities. Okay. We'll cross out disturbing, we'll
cross out often unreasonable and say an obsession is
a persistent preoccupation with an idea or feeling.
Okay? I've had the privilege of meeting some people
who have competed in the Olympics. My father
competed in the Olympics. Through him I got to know
a whole bunch of these people. Okay? When they talk
about doing their mental imagery, when they talk
about doing their preparation for their event, for their
competition, they talk about a single-minded focus on
an attitude, an action and an outcome. Okay? What
are they? They are obsessed with correct
performance. Again, this about a time in your life
when there were thoughts going through your head
that were persistent, they were outside your normal
order of things, you couldn't get them out of your
head and you really don't know why it's happening,
but god dammit, you just can't get it out of your head.
That's an obsession and you can use it on your own
behalf. Okay. Now, why am I telling you all this stuff?
First of all, it's true. These things need to be said.
You've been talking to yourself in bad ways. You've
been talking to yourself in ways that have acted to
close down your sense of possibilities. You've been
saying things to yourself like, "I'm not the kind of guy
who does x, y, z.” Or, "She would never be interested
in me.” Or, "I could never get all the way into wild,
screaming, rip-up the-sheets sex on the first date.”
Okay? All of these are examples of pathological
trance. None of them are true. Okay? You've been
using language in bad ways and it's time, this
weekend, now, to begin to think very, very carefully
about how you talk to yourself. What is it that you
say to yourself and how do you say it? What is the
tonality you use? Kim's going to come up and she's
going to be talking about tonality. Okay? I've had the
great pleasure of being around Kim for quite some
time now. She's fabulous. You're going to love it.
She's right. Okay? You could be telling yourself a
good thing in your head and if you're using this
whiny little tonality, okay, it's like the dentist drill.
Okay? That's what tonality is. You ever go into a
dentist's office and you're sitting there and you're
looking at some magazine that was old six months
ago, and in the background you hear this rrrring,
rrring, rrring? I'm convinced that they, I mean, they
don't even do the work. They just tape it and play it,
You know?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Because they, they get you into such,
such a deep trance state before you even hit the chair.
It's like I give up, do me, you know, rrrr, rrring.
Tonality sets the tenor of your response to a
message. Okay? So you, you choose your words very
carefully. You think about the tonality. You'll hear
people like Ross and myself, we'll be talking away and
we'll stop, we'll go, "Aaah.” Okay? It's a tension
release but it also moves us right back down into the
point where we can talk instead up here and really fast
like I often do. You go slow down. Okay? And you
get the tonality going and you're soothing yourself
Now, I told you all that to tell you this. There are a lot
of ideas that are going on in the world about what
does it mean to be a seducer? Okay? If you'd walk up
to the average woman on the street and say,
"Describe a seducer, " you're going to get a negative
response back. And yet, if y ou ask her, "Has ever
been a time in your life when you met a man who just,
out of the blue, appeared in front of you, the very
picture of someone you've wanted all your life,
someone who is blah, blah, blah, blah, " you just
describe them, "would you find that attractive?"
"Ooh, yeah.” Well, wait a minute. A seducer is bad
and yet the man who is capable of seducing them is
good. How does that work? You know? How can
these things both be true? And it's because there's a
connotation with the word. Words resonate with
135
people in certain ways. Now, some of the questions
that have been asked so far this weekend have to do
with things like where is it ethical to use these
technologies? Okay? How can you use it ways that
help women without hurting them? Okay? How could
you use it to fit within the social constraints so that
you don't, I mean, listen, I ... I do research projects. I
get bored really easily, so when I do a research
project, I don't just like go out and say, "Someone
told me this is true. I tried it and it's true. I'll try it ten
more times and see if it's still true.” No, no. I
immediately go back to my previous slide here and
say, "Fuck constraints.” Okay? "Where are the real
boundaries on this stuff So, as a result, I have, yes in
fact, jumped out a second story windows while
somebody else was coming up the stairs with a gun.
Okay? Bad thing, bad, bad, bad. Okay? I have had a
real problem with my landlord in an apartment complex
because women kept breaking the lock on their front
door and coming in and pounding on my door, cause
they wanted more. Okay?
Audience: Laughter.
Major Mark: This is no shit. I mean, it's, reality is far
stranger than any fiction you could ever come up
with. Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Once you learn this sort of stuff, there is
this natural tendency to go out and try it a lot. Okay?
You sit back and think, "I am a master speed seducer.
I have always wanted six foot athletic blondes.” And
see, you start to collect some. Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: And you forget the off switch. Okay?
And so all of a sudden, you've got this small stable of
athletic, you know, blondes who want more of what
they got before. Okay? It may be you got a little
sloppy and didn't redirect all that energy some place
else so they're still looking for you. Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: I was living in this apartment complex, no
shit, women were like breaking the locks on the
entrance door, coming upstairs, pounding on my
door, three in the morning, "I now you're in there. I
know you're in there with her.” Barn, bam, bam, ... I'm
thinking, "What the fuck is this?" And then my
neighbor starts getting really upset, not because of
the noise, but because his wife is sniffing around
saying, "What's so special about Mark that he's got
all these women?"
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay? This is a bad thing, bad thing.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Yep, good thing, bad thing. So I learned
to express myself in different ways.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay? I learned that there are ways of
being a seducer that do not slip into pathological
trance. There are ways of approaching seduction that
do not involve limiting anyone's options, harming
anyone at all. And the key to this is to (a) use your
language correctly, always be scrupulously honest
and actually do everything that you're talking about.
Brother Orion's main point, okay, you cannot crank,
somebody kick Brother Orion. Okay, there we go. You
cannot crank them up to nuclear pitch and then leave
them hanging there. Cause what happens? It pisses
them off. They're in a highly energized state, they're
paying attention to you and now they're pissed off.
Bad thing. Okay? You want, instead, to follow
through on everything that you promised, which
means you need to be very, very careful about what
you promise. You promise things, things through
words, you promise things through Implication,
through your use of ambiguity, you promise things
through your physical performance. Okay? You have
to fucking pay attention. You're always
communicating, inside and outside. Okay. Now, some
people come up and ask me and they say, well, oh, for
example, let's just use this few minutes here to talk
about one of my most famous research projects,
which is the scoring with married women book.
Yates: This concludes Side 12 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Home Study Course
136
Tape 7 – Side 1
Yates: Welcome to Side 13 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Home Study Course
Major Mark: To end it up, there's a public called THE
RENEGADE HYPNOTIST REVEALS AMAZING
TRUE SECRETS ABOUT SCORING WITH MARRIED
WOMEN.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: That's right. Hey, you know. And the
thing is the reason I started thinking about all this
was in my work as a therapist, I see anywhere
between, oh jeez, 40, 50 women a week professionally.
Okay? Out of those, at least half and this spans, this
is an average, this spans the last 10 years, I would say
at least half have either said they're going to have an
affair, they're having an affair, or they have had an
affair. And I'm thinking, "Well, now wait a minute.
How can this be when, in fact, the whole image of
married women is that marriage is sacred, it's forever,
it's true, it's permanent, it's concrete, you know, it's
titanium, not can possibly interfere with it.” Well, the
fact is as I mentioned before, women are people.
Okay? People are engines of infinite possibility,
including behaviors, including desires, including
needs. Okay? And we have a myth built up in our
culture that says before marriage women go through
predictable stages. Okay? They're little girls who are
dreaming about the future and what must be. Okay?
They're adventurous young women who are out
partying, dancing, flirting, experimenting with love
affairs, finding out what life is all alike, and then
suddenly at some point it's like they throw a switch,
boom, new path, and they decide they want to get
married. And marriage is something that is apart,
marriage is something different. Marriage means that
they go o ut and they decide "I'm ready to get married,
here's the kind of man I want to get married to, " and
heaven help the next poor sorry bastard who wanders
into their sights.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: You know? Because she's ready. Okay?
And she's going to girlnosis on you until ...
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: you just go ahead and you succumb.
You know? People ask me all the time, you know,
"Gee, you're Major Mark. You're this world famous
seducer, you know. If you can do anything in your
life you want, for Christ sake, look at everything
you've done so far, why did you get married?" And
the answer is really simple. Cassie's a much better
hypnotist than I am.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: But the thing is, our concept of marriage
includes pathological trance. This is a verifiable fact.
It closes down your options. And for most women in
our society they move into a predominantly sexless
role. Does this mean they don't have sex? No, it
means that that aspect of their life, they vibrant
sexuality that they reveled in just a year before, is
sublimated to the concept of marriage. Okay? They
are now a wife. So, you've all seen it. It's like you meet
some woman, she's very active, she's friendly and all
this kind of stuff. She goes and gets married and then
all of a sudden she can't go to lunch with you
because she's married. Okay? She can't talk to you at
parties, can't fool around and flirt like she used to
cause she's married. Okay? Women are taught to
protect themselves, to hold men not at an arm's
distance, more like a football field's distance, once
they're married. Because they want to avoid the
appearance of temptation, they want to avoid the
reality of temptation. Okay? Well, unfortunately,
women are just like people. This shit only goes so far.
Okay? A few years into this, maybe even sooner, they
start going, "Hey.” Because the woman they used to
be is still alive. Okay? That, that laughing, happy girl
who'd go out and dance all night and just love the
experience is still alive, she still wants to come out
and play. See, there's this very important truth, and
that is there's no such thing as a married woman.
There is no such thing as a married woman. We, we've
got the words all wrong. There are only women who
have gotten married.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay? There are women who have
changed t heir legal status and somehow wrapped up
in this thing is the whole idea that now I have to be
completely different person and shut down huge
areas of my life in order to be a happily married
woman. Who benefits from this? Married men. Okay?
Married men love this shit. Okay? Cause they can still
run around and do anything they want, they can be
masters of the universe, they can be in charge,
knowing that wifey is going to be home, wifey's going
to be a good girl. The one thing that terrifies a married
137
man the most is the idea that his wife is going to wake
up. Okay? She's going to say, "Hey, I've got desires,
I've got needs, I'm a human being, I want to have a
little adventure, I want to have a little passion, I want
to do something outside the box. I can see over this
constraint and see that it's just a line here, it doesn't
really exist.” Oooh, what starts to happen then? They
start looking for possibilities. Now, up until relatively
recently it was men who had greater possibilities for
infidelity. Oooh, okay? Infidelity means unfaithful and
that really refers back to what's the nature of the
promise you made, which is, you should be really
careful about it. I just went through this marriage
ceremony where half of it was in Hebrew and that
made me nervous as hell. You know? I mean, I have
no idea what the man was talking about, I just know,
you know, he was going on and on and the whole
congregation was going, yeah, yeah, and I'm going,
"What is this?" You know?
Ross: You waved your stock portfolio.
Major Mark: That's right.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Exactly right. I affirmed the second
mortgage and you know all that kind of stuff. But the
thing is there are, there are a couple of studies that
came out last year that have to do with married and
their, their sexual behavior. And the most
conservative study that came out of U. S.
Government, oddly enough, because they don't
publish the one's that aren't politically correct, I don't
know if you know this, but there's all this research
that never makes it outside the Library of Congress
because they don't want to admit it. Okay? But, the
most conservative study published for the past
couple of years said that one out of three wives will,
in fact, repeatedly have affairs while she remains
married. One out of three. Okay? Now, if that was the
only number, that means there's one hell of a lot of
women doing this. My experience as I said is that, is
roughly half The greatest predictor of infidelity is
opportunity. It's a fact, okay? You all know this is
true. You're men, you're dogs, you sniff butts, you
know?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: You know that if the opportunity
presents itself in front of you, you go, oooh, this is
nice. Okay? I can always think about how it's a bad
thing later.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Right now it's here. You know? I want to
hump her leg right here.
Audience: Laugher
Major Mark: You know? Okay? Well, as women in our
society take an ever-increasing role in everyday
activities, the broad-range activities, guess what?
Their opportunity goes up so the number goes up.
Okay? Is this a bad thing? Well, this is where people
argue. Okay? People have various opinions; they
have various beliefs, good thing, bad thing. I'm not
really qualified to judge. All I know is that in my
professional practice if a day goes by without
somebody hitting on me, I figure I must be on
vacation or I'm sure as hell not in the office. Okay? It
happens all the time, all the time. Now why do women
do this? Pause for reflection. Women do this because
they want the same things we want. Okay? They want
pleasure, they want passion, they want adventure.
And it's not that they have something specific in
mind. They want something that they associate with
those words. They want something that they
associate with those values that the culture has
pounded into them. Okay? When you want to keep a
wife from straying, you are actually running up into
this headlong confrontation with 20, 30, 40 years of
cultural conditioning to be just the opposite. Okay? I
mean, it is absolutely amazing. Now women are able to
compartmentalize their behavior in ways that men find
unnatural. What is unnatural? It's not bad, it just
means we haven't practiced it. Okay? Men are such
simple creatures. It's really true. I teach this course
called BUILDING A BETTER GIRLFRIEND. Okay?
And guys get wildly excited about it because it all
works. It works wonderfully well. Women don't even
blink. It's funny. Guys go, "Well, Jeez, you know,
does this really work? Can I do this, can I do this with
it, can I do that with it?" Women go, "Cool, where do
I sign?" Okay? They find out I teach this stuff, they're
reaching for their checkbook. Okay? They understand
this stuff cause they know that behaviors fall into
different categories in your life. Okay? And a way a
woman is going to approach doing something outside
her marriage, seeking pleasure outside her marriage, or
even worse yet, seeking meaningful conversation and
meaningful emotions outside her marriage, she'll do it
in a box. Okay? This is a question when I first started
doing the research, I couldn't figure out how is it that
women cheating on their marriage was such a bad
thing was so many of them appeared to be doing it.
You know? You would think that the countryside
would be just littered with destroyed lives. I mean if
one out of two women are doing it, you would think
that we would be totally fucked instead of mostly
fucked up.
138
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: All right? Okay. And what I found is that
the question I learned to ask, which is the killer, killer
question, is if there was a way that you could
experience a once-in-a-lifetime romantic or sexual
adventure, without it negatively impacting your
primary relationship, would you do it? Yes, the
answer would comeback just like that. Okay. Because
within those constraints I drew a bigger box. Right?
Within those constraints they all go for it. Well how
can this possibly be if it's a naturally bad thing? It's
because I used language that allowed a greater sense
of possibility. Okay.
Audience: Can you restate that?
Major Mark: Which part?
Audience: The part, if there was ...
Major Mark: Oh. If there was, ha ha, you want to use
this later, huh?
Audience: Yeah.
Major Mark: If there was a way for you to enjoy a
romantic or sexual adventure outside your marriage in
such a way that it would never negatively impact your
primary relationship, would you do it?
Audience: Thank you.
Major Mark: I've, I've asked tens of thousands of
women this question. I've not y et gotten a no answer.
Okay? This tells me I'm on to something.
Audience: Laughter. Would you repeat that one more
time?
Major Mark: It's actually all on a very fine course
called BUILD A BETTER GIRLFRIEND.
?: It's available.
Audience: Now, I ...
Major Mark: Yes I will.
Audience: When you ask that question, do you ask it
as sort of like research to find out or do you ask it as
part of a seduction?
Major Mark: Well, if I'm in the office its research.
Audience: Yeah. Laughter.
Major Mark: Uh huh. But, if I'm sitting at a restaurant
somewhere, I'll just ask it. I'll say, "Listen, as a man,
I'm curious about something that you can reveal to me
now and that is ...” boom, I hit them with the question.
”If there was a way for you to experience a romantic
or sexual adventure outside the realm of your marriage
in such a way that it would never negatively impact
your primary relationship ...” I mean, look at all the
qualifiers I'm using. Okay? Okay. ”Would you do it?"
Well, yes they would. Okay? Do I ever have to say,
"Would you like to go fuck?" "No!" Okay. If half the
married women in North America are either looking for
the opportunity, have the opportunity, have had the
opportunity, chances are all I have to do is be
available. The greatest predictor of infidelity is
Audience: Possibility.
Major Mark: Possibility. Opportunity. Right? Okay? If
you bring in a carload of starving women all I have to
do is look like the dessert tray.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: These women are going to go out and
they're going to be looking for that experience with
someone. Now, they could go out and find somebody
who hasn't been through this course before and so
isn't very skilled, isn't very knowledgeable, isn't very
mature, doesn't know how to do it in such a way that
doesn't hurt people, and so they can end up with
them.
Ross: There's a point I want to make here. And I hope
you can see this point. The point I want to make is
regardless of whether you're interested in seducing
married women or not, there's a, there's a much more
interesting thing going on here. In my opinion. And
that is Mark's ability to see beyond the box and refuse
to be, however temporarily at least, refuse to be
brainwashed by a set of word associations. The, the,
the, everything that he's doing here flows, and correct
me if I'm wrong, but I think I'm night, I think I know
how you think, at least I think I think I know how you
think, but then there's what you know that you know,
then there's what ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You don't know you know until one day you
suddenly realize you know you know it. And then
when what you don't know you becomes what you
know you know, then you just think things
differently. You know? So anyway, little confusion.
Here's the point. This all flows out of Mark's
understanding that there are no married women, there
are only women who got married. So he refuses to
have a category in his mind that says single
women/married women. To him they're all women.
And therefore he's able to reach the conclusion,
"Wait a minute. They still have the same response,
the same desires, the same mindsets as single
women.” So that ability to take a, a defining wordset,
139
a set of words that captures and traps people's neuro
associations and forces them along a narrow line of
thinking, so narrow that they can't even see the
opportunity that's over here. You really want to begin
to question for yourselves, even if you don't accept
that seducing married women is something you would
even step towards doing, at least ask yourself, "Okay,
what else is there in my life where I'm accepting the
definition that's so narrowing, so constricting?" In
fact, what Mark is really saying, if I might, he saying
that the very term married woman is a pathological
trance inducer.
Major Mark: Uh huh.
Ross: Why? Because it narrows the type of things
you can even begin to consider let alone act on.
Okay? Even if you would never seduce a married
woman, at least see how the very word, married
woman, is actually a pathological trance inducer,
cause it's taking away your choice to even think
about it in a different way. And a huge amount of the
control mechanisms in our society are pathological
trance inducers through words. If someone can
determine how you think about something, then they
can determine how far you think about something.
Okay? And the way they do that is through
languaging and through words. So look at this, even
if you don't agree with seducing married women or
not, look at this as an opportunity to begin to explore
how words induce pathological trance. And dating is,
in effect, a set of words that induce a pathological
trance. A pathological trance that requires men to be
supplicators, that requires men to be sex beggars or
bullies, or requires men to be, accept terrible choices
that you either do nothing o r you have to live on luck
and chance. Okay? You've been sold a huge amount
of pathological trance. A huge amount. And that
pathological trance is called dating. Am I correct
about this?
Major Mark: Yes.
Ross: Is this where you're driving with it?
Major Mark: Yeah. Cause see the thing is, I'm always
honest with you guys, but let me just abandon any
kind of sophistication and go right for the blunt edge.
The reason that I talk to people about my research
into this area is because the whole concept of scorin g
with married women gets people right by the balls,
gets guys right by the balls. Some guys go, "Oh,
yeah, I want to do that.” Other guys go, "You fucking
scum. How dare you even think this.” And then most
guys go, "Huh?" Cause it never even came on the
radar screen before. Okay? The thing is, this is a prime
example of how our cultural mindset and how we use
language exerts a powerful, powerful influence on
you. But the key to shatter, to break that control is to
just wake up, to look at what's _____ , to listen to
what is actually being said inside and outside your
head, and going, "Wait a minute. Is that true or not?"
Yes. Yes sir.
Audience: Yeah. I support your concept of breaking
out of the box. I started out with a thousand dollar
MasterCard loan and I built up a multi-million dollar
worldwide _____ .
Major Mark: Sure. Okay.
Audience: Breaking out of the box. Reading about
doing that and I like your openness, okay?
Major Mark: Uh huh.
Audience: And you talked about being honest ...
Major Mark: Uh huh.
Audience: Okay? And I respect that concept. But if
you promise somebody at the altar and you go and
break that contract, you are not being honest.
Major Mark: I understand what you're saying.
Audience: In my, you know, my ...
Major Mark: Okay.
Audience: Do you agree with that or not?
Major Mark: Uh, yes and no. Okay? I'm not trying to
dance around the question, Okay. The marriage
compact as we understand it in American culture is
one of the very few open-ended contracts you ever
enter in, enter into. Most contracts are bounded by
terms and conditions that are often bounded by dates
as well. Okay? Marriage is the one area where you
don't know what the hell you're doing with somebody
you don't really understand and you promise a certain
set of behavior forever. The fact is people change.
Okay? Now, if I were to look at anybody, male or
female, who looks at what they promised before and
says this binds my behavior forever, regardless of
how unhappy I may be, as someone who makes a
living out of helping people, I have to wonder about
that line of reasoning. Okay? I understand what
you're talking about because when I give somebody
my word, I go through, I mean, I will go through the
fires of hell to make sure that I promised. In fact, that's
one thing people will tell you about me is I'm very
careful about what I promise because I'm obligated to
perform. Okay? That's why when we got married, I
didn't make any promise to be faithful forever,
sexually faithful forever. It didn't even come up. What
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I explicitly promised and which I will honor to the day
I die is that I will never do anything to hurt her.
Audience: But if you have sex with another woman in
the age of AIDS, there's a chance. If your wife ...
Ross: Okay. Hang on a second, hang on a second.
There's a degree which an exchange degenerates into
a dialogue in an argument. You, he made, he, you
acknowledged what you appreciated about him and
where your difference was and he answered you back.
So we can keep going but, but, but, but, but ... I think
that the discussion has gone to the point where it's
getting extended to that. I don't want it to do that.
Major Mark: Right. It's a mistake to get too attached a
model ...
Ross: It's a mistake to but, but, but, let me say this.
There's, there's one point I want to make and then I
want to drop that. There's a concept in law, having
been a former paralegal, called an adhesion contract.
Do you know what an adhesion contract is? The law
frowns upon contracts of adhesion. It basically means
you're stuck with it. Adhesion, to adhere, it means the
contract is so binding and one-sided and oppressive,
you're basically forced into signing it. And the law
frowns upon that sort of thing. An example of an
adhesion contract is an insurance policy. If an
insurance policy has impossible conditions and you
still sign it, the law will look, look at that say it's
voidable.
Major Mark: Not enforceable.
Ross: Not void, but voidable. And there's an extent to
which marriage is an adhesion contract because the
norms of society will only confer certain benefits if
you agree to certain sexual restrictions that may not
be in the best interest of human beings. They may or
they may not . So there's an extent to which marriage
can be viewed as a contract of adhesion, you know,
that, that it's so binding and oppressive that to break
it is not necessarily, it may, and by the way, not all
dishonesty is bad. If you're, let me give you an
example where dishonesty would not be bad. You're a
German in World War II and you're sheltering Jewish
people in your attic. Okay? You decided that policy of
murdering Jews is not a good thing. I think you would
agree, murdering Jews is not a good thing. Yes?
Murdering innocent people is bad.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Okay? So you've got Jewish children hiding in
your attic and the Nazi official knocks on your door
and says, "Do you have any Jews in your home?"
Are you going to tell him the truth; yes I do or are
you going to lie?
Audience: I would say to him, "Are you crazy?"
Ross: Well, he says, "Do you have any Jews in your
home?"
Audience: "What a question to ask of a Nazi.”
Ross: Okay, good. So you would say no. Okay.
Audience: No, I wouldn't.
Ross: You would, you would not lie.
Major Mark: No, that dissembling. That's dissembling.
Ross: That's dissembling, that's not telling the truth.
Audience: I'm not saying no.
Ross: But if you said yes, if your only choice was yes
or now, I'm serious, if your only choice was yes or no,
would you lie?
Audience: I'd just, I'd go off on them. ”How dare
you?"
Ross: Listen to me and answer my question. If your
only choice was yes or no, would you lie?
Audience: Yes I would.
Ross: Okay. So being honest is not always the best
thing. Okay. Let's drop this topic.
Major Mark: Okay. Perhaps I can put some minds at
rest by saying I have never hit on a married woman in
my life. I've never set out to seduce a married woman
in my life. Have I ever had married women hit on me?
Yes, constantly. Okay? The thing is, once a woman
puts her mind to this, okay, once she's changed her
boundaries, when she has changed her constraints,
she's going to be out doing something, if she's
moving through society like a virus in pumps and
pearls. Okay? I mean, ...
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: That's right. And see, the thing is , she's,
she's going to go out and she's going to engage in
the behavior along with half of all her other married
sisters. Okay? The thing is if you were to get involved
in this sort of thing, the only that's necessary to do is
to become the sort of man that married women are
attracted to. Okay. Now, does this sound at all
familiar? Say yes.
Audience: Yes.
Major Mark: Because the whole purpose of speed
seduction is for you to transform yourself, transform
yourself into the kind of man that women find
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comp elling.
Audience: I have a question. If even with all the social
pressures and whatnot that come to bear with taking a
woman, you know,
Major Mark: Right.
Audience: Oftentimes still can't force monogamy, do
you think that it's, that in some way that it's a
commentary on how _____ transformation occurs
that it has to be an entire process over a period of
time because people aren't static _____ that ...
Major Mark: That is certainly true. But let me tell you
that women are far less resistant to stepping o utside a
marriage than men are. Okay? Honest to god. Okay?
In my professional opinion I experience women will go
for it at the drop of a hat. Okay?
Audience: On a different subject. The 64 thousand
dollar question. Of the thousands of women that you
interviewed you say that they all never say no ...
Major Mark: Right.
Audience: Do they ever say anything besides yes?
Major Mark: They might want to know more details
about how it could not affect their primary
relationship and I ask them, I say, "Are there areas of
your life where you're a mom?" Well, if they have
kids, they'll go, "Yeah.” I go, "Okay, there's clearly
accepted rules and roles of behavior within that.”
And they go, "Yeah.” And I go, "But there are also
areas where you're a wife.” And they go, "Yeah.” And
I say, "It doesn't always overlap does it?" "Well, no.”
There are different behaviors they keep in different
parts of their life. Then they've got their working life.
It's all the behavior that they associate with being in
the office, what you can and can't do, how they relate
to people, who their friends are, okay? Then they go
to church and they have the life of, "Well, how do I
_____ myself within the boundaries of the
congregation?" Women understand this stuff. They
compartmentalize their lives cause that's how they get
through all the demands in their life. Adding one more
box that happens to contain the possibility of wild
passion, a once in a lifetime romantic adventure, and
fulfillment beyond their wildest dreams, well, that's
not so difficult to do.
Audience: So, in other words, an affirmative response
means that they can put the extra box in?
Major Mark: Yeah. Yeah.
Ross: There's, there's, there's another thing to keep in
mind here. What if it were possible, just suppose, I
know this is outside of the box, what if, just suppose
as a result of this experience of wild and amazing
passion, she could take that passion back into her
marriage and re-energize and revitalize it?
Major Mark: What if she got it out of her system?
Ross: I'm serious, I'm not trying to be facetious, I'm
not being cynical here. I'm deadly serious. What if
passion were not just a limited thing she only has so
much of like porridge handed out at the orphanage?
This is another scarcity thing. What if passion were
something you could reawaken in her so she then
goes back to her marriage and takes it back into her
marriage and re-ignites it? He may be marching
around going, "Wow, must be the new cologne.” But
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And he never has to know. See it, to my mind,
to my mind, the important thing is not to violate or
disrupt a loving, good, healthy relationship. Whether
that's in the institution of a marriage or whether it's an
institution of people who are still single. But you
could be in a marriage where people absolutely hate,
what if they absolutely hate each other, make each
other miserable? Is that a bigger violation than to go
and try and break up people who are single but are
really deliriously happy with each other, simply
because there's a rule that s ays don't do it? But, but,
let, let's, if we can, get off of the, get off of that aspect
and move on to something else. Is it on this topic,
cause if it is, let's drop it.
Audience: I had a question about
compartmentalization.
Ross: Yes. Compartmentalization ...
Audience: When you were talking you mentioned
roles, it seemed like there was always a role name that
went along with the compartment. If someone, if
someone cheats, what's the role name for that that's
not, doesn't have any pejorative connotatio ns to it?
Major Mark: Lover. Lover. Okay, listen. There are lots
of examples of women loving someone deeply. In my
mind ...
Ross: In my mind, okay.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Women are able to couple the rational
with the emotional to a far greater degree night out of
the box than we are. I don't know why it is; it's just the
way it works.
Audience: The purpose of colossun is actually thicker
than our, so they naturally have an ability to send
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neurological signals back much faster and cleaner ...
Ross: Unless you're taking a lot of Porasitin then you
can, then you, then you get even with them.
Audience: Laughter.
Major Mark: The corpus colossun for those of you
who don't know is that little bundle of nerve fibers
that connect your two hemispheres, that allow your
two hemispheres to communicate. Okay? It's one of
the cool things about women. This is why they come
up with all these amazing insights all the time. Ross: I
would say that men are equally complex in different
areas, but when it comes to sex, men are not complex.
Okay? Men don't compartmentalize, sexuality diffuses
and infuses all throughout our waking, every, every
waking thought and every waking moment. But men
can be equally complex in other areas.
Major Mark: Okay, let, let me, let me tiptoe out of the
minefield here for a second here, okay, cause we were
in, perilously close to blowing ourselves up. Okay?
Again, why am I talking about all this stuff? Okay?
There is a world of infinite possibilities, most of which
we never see. Okay? It's like we're inside Carlsbad
Caverns only we forgot our flashlight, so we're
stumbling around, okay, we hold up a match and we
see the pool of light around us and we go, "Wow, this
is the world.” Okay? In the meantime, we've got this
incredible splendor and wonder all around you and
you don't see it because you're not capable of
perceiving it. Well, for those of you who've been
paying attention, what is the single most important
tool that we have that allows us to perceive reality?
Audience: Our eyes.
Major Marks: It's our words. It's the concepts we use
to define and structure the universe around us. Okay?
The universe is, the universe exists, it's there. It
doesn't know about us, okay? We are a biological
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infestation that got out of control. Okay? We are more
spools that got uppity and started thinking that, you
know, we're it.
Ross: Life is a sexually transmitted disease invariably
fatal.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: When you start to change the words
that you use, when you change how you string them
together, you change your very perception of reality.
And as you start to use words differently in your
communication with the ones you love, with the ones
that you may like to love, with the ones that you're
doing business with, with the person sitting next to
you on the subway, you're changing their reality, too.
Okay. I'm a hypnotist. He likes to say I'm one of the
best hypnotists, most powerful hypnotists he's ever
met. I don't know, they may or may not be true. I do
know that I'm real damn good at what I do. And the
only thing I have to work with is my voice and my
words. Okay? And I've found that all I have to do is
talk to someone, I can touch them, I can heal them, I
can change their life forever, and by listening to
myself do it, I've erased all the lines around my box.
Speed seduction context, I walk up to Freda here,
okay, and I am so engrossed with nipple distention,
green light.
Audience: Laughter.
Major Mark: If I am so engrossed in what's going on
in my head with, what was that transition phrase, how
does this pattern go? Okay? Am I doing this right?
What comes next, I'm not paying any attention to her,
okay, and I'm missing each and every message that
she's putting out for my benefit because she can't
stop communicating, none of us can stop
communicating. Okay? It's like we're a thousand watt
radio station and somebody welded that switch on.
Okay? There is no way that you can not
communicate. Now I was trained long ago and far
away to go as far as humans possibly can to not
communicate because if you're creeping around in the
bush and you're surrounded by well-trained, heavily
armed, highly motivated people who really want to kill
you, okay, you really don't want to be broadcasting a
lot of information. You know? Instead, you want to
just close that puppy down and make sure that you
just, like this little black hole, that you don't even
exist. Even so, you can be spotted, you can be
perceived cause you're sending out these messages.
Okay? You're affecting your environment in each and
every thing you do. So, it behooves you to be very,
very careful. Okay? You had the question earlier. How
do you do the speed seduction thing without hurting
people? And I gave you an answer that may have
sounded flip, but it's absolutely true. To make sure
that y ou don't hurt people, never, ever do a hurtful
thing. Concentrate on moving towards pleasure,
moving towards expansion of possibilities and
remaining highly sensitive and aware of the impact of
your thoughts, your actions and your beliefs. Mark?
Mark: When you were out there among those
dangerous people, were you also watching your
thoughts so that you weren't broadcasting ...
Major Mark: Yeah. Okay? The, well, the most
important thing I had to watch was doubts. Okay? Far
more deadly than the North Vietnamese were my self-
doubts. Okay. And I had to guard against that
constantly. Okay? Sneaky little fuckers in the bush
with guns, I mean, you can handle that. Okay. You're
trained for that. What you don't have a defense
against is the crap that is going on inside your head.
By definition that voice is already inside any
conceivable defense you might put up. So the real
defense against that kind of belief or that kind of
damage that is caused by those pathological trances
is to stay awake and just fucking don't do it. It means
you have to be awake and aware each and every
moment of your life. Okay? Now the good news is
that's how is defined. Okay. You are awake every
moment of your life, you're just not aware. Okay? So
you're half way there already. Cool. You know? Not
bad. The rest of the part is paying attention. Right?
Ross: What were you saying?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: That was easy. The rest of the part was
changing ...
Audience: Is it, is it the case that, that the stuff you
were talking about earlier, pejorative connotations of
any word is necessarily a pathological trance
induction?
Major Mark: Not necessarily. Okay. Let's take murder
as an example. Okay? You said I would never murder
anybody. Okay? And I'm not picking on you, but you
were just talking during this, so I'm using your
example. Okay? I used to murder people for a living. I
got paid for it, but I did it within a context where it
was okay. Okay? I was serving the national interest, I
was protecting my buddies, and ...
Audience: Response from audience
Major Mark: What?
144
Audience: Response from audience
Major Mark: No, by definition. I mean, the people who
run, if the people who run the country say you go,
you go. Now it may be really fucked, but that's how
you define the national interest. Okay? Words do
have true meanings. Okay? So, the thing is, you say,
pejorative, okay ...
Audience: I'm trying to think of a word that's
somehow, in my own mind, have a pejorative image or
idea in my own mind of that, does that necessarily do
some pathological trance on me?
Major Mark: Not necessarily. Okay? But let me ruin
the life you had up until this moment and I'm going to
ruin it forever. Okay? It is your responsibility to take
each and every input, whether You generate it
yourself or it comes from outside you, and to
determine its validity in your life. You are responsible
for accepting or rejecting each and every thing that
occurs to you. Okay? There are no rules, there are no
rules, we grew up, okay? We have rules for little kids
because you really don't want them running with the
scissors. So there's a rule; do not run with scissors.
And as hypnotists we know that makes them run with
the scissors because you imbedded the command run
with scissors. Okay? But all these rules are meant to
guide people who don't have a higher cognitive
sense. Okay? Well, past the age of 9, you've got it.
Okay? At that point, rules have less and less
relevance in your life.
Ross: But let me give you an answer, cause I know
how you're processing things and it's not useful. It's
far more, rather than sitting there obsessively
watching your own internal dialogue going, "Is that a
pathological ...” Fuck all that. Flush it down the toilet.
Instead think in what you want to design in that
would work best for you. Not just in what you say to
yourself, but the sounds you make, what imagery you
make, ah hah. Okay? The body feelings that you want
to build. Do you understand?
Audience: No, say it again.
Ross: I know, because it's so outside of what you're
used to ...
?: Laughing
Ross: Listen to me. Rather than sit there and watch
and listen to your own internal dialogue, and go, "Oh,
better watch out, that's a word I shouldn't use to
myself, then I'll do ...” Fuck all that. Instead think what
you want to design in. It's not just your responsibility
to be aware and alert to what's coming in, it's also
your responsibility to design in what you want to
have. To begin to think in terms of design, rather than
watching what's there. That's all well and good, but
what if you began to think what's not there yet, what
are you not thinking about yet, now? What imagery
have you not yet had in your mind now that would be
more useful than you only before used to have before
you walked in that door, but which now seem
impossible even to get near? Because the more you
move towards the direction of thinking what you want
to put in rather than how can I remove it, it's there that
doesn't serve, the more you begin to have only things
that do serve because you wired them in rather than
having them accidentally there. Cause see, you were
grown, you were born and you grew up and you had
lots of things put in there, and, you know, some of
them serve you and some of you don't, but what's
more useful is this; is to go, "Hey, wait a minute.
What's not there yet, what am I not thinking about
yet?" Because yesterday there was a time when you
didn't have the thoughts you've already had.
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: And tomorrow, there'll be a time when the
thoughts you haven't yet had will be thoughts you've
already did have. So why not determine what you're
going to design in. And what does it mean to
determine what you design in?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Yeah. I know. What does it mean to really stop
and think, "What imagery do I want to put in that uh
huh box? If I could see myself any way I wanted to
see myself just before I stepped off, up to talk to a
lady, what image would I like to see?" Now, you
probably couldn't see yourself 40 feet tall, laid back,
bulletproof, glowing with power. And it's absolutely
impossible, I'm sure you're way too, ... Huh?
Audience: I have difficulty seeing that.
Ross: Yeah, well of course you had difficulty and that
was the problem. But listen. If you were to take image
of yourself like this big and watch this. Watch this.
Watch this. We're going, you ever see a jack-in-the-
box and you put in back in the box, let's push it back
in the box, put the lid on, and now I'm going to step
on it. It's going to bounce up out of the ground.
Ready?
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Bing. Now, look at that. Now we're going to
push it down into the box again, give me a hand here.
This _____ .
Audience: Laughter.
145
Ross: Okay, put the lid on. Okay, now watch. I want
you to see an image of that beautiful woman and then
I'm going to step on this, and this image is going to
go whoosh ready to be caught. Ready? Bing.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Now you can do this and really enjoy yourself
and you can think . Now try and go back to thinking,
"Well, what if I say this to her? I don't know if ...”
Audience: I didn't think that.
Ross: Well, whatever it was you thought. Now this is
confusing because he's going to access where he was
and now he's going to access where you are. Okay,
yeah, so what am I going to do now? That's right,
okay. Yeah. Okay, now take that 40 foot tall image,
reach out, reach out with your hands, grab it, raise it
up above your head and pull it down on top of
yourself
Audience: Now I'm facing backwards.
Ross: Well, turn it around, that's all.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Now pull it down on top of yourself. Pull it
down on top of yourself. Pull it down on top of
yourself like this, whoosh. Yeah. Okay, now we've got
through 40-foot tall eyes at that beautiful girl.
Now remember the sequence of sounds you made in
your head that worked best for you?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Run them.
Audience: I can't remember Bullwinkle, I forget.
Ross: (Humming Bullwinkle theme). Shhh. Now watch
this. Let's stuff it back in. Okay. Stuff it back in, you
got it? Okay, now look here, look here, look up. Okay.
I want you to see the beautiful girl, look at her, narrow
your eyes a little bit, do the first of your sounds,
whatever it might be. Okay. That's the first one. Let's
do this. Okay. Stop. Do your sounds, now see the girl,
narrow your eyes a little bit, step on your jack in the
box, ding, make the other sounds.
Audience: Okay
Ross: That, that works pretty good?
Audience: Actually, the most powerful thing for me is
that, is that when, when you did the 40 foot tall thing
for the, for the very first time where something's, I
actually saw me as opposed to like yesterday where I
saw like Calvin in the in the comic strip who's, Calvin's
probably not the best in
Audience: Laughter. I mean, this is, this is real. I mean
like ... Kind of, kind of like a blondish guy who's
maybe that size or something. It's just like, but, you
know, if I were to look in the mirror, I would see what I
saw then, but that's one thing I had difficulties when I
visualized me I, what do I look like?
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: I really don't know, until now.
Ross: Until now.
Audience: Till now.
Ross: Look at it there. Now you're not looking it there.
Watch this. Take a deep breath. Now blow out
through your mouth and put a golden color to that
image. You don't need to touch it. Take another
breath, blow out again. Okay, let it out more easy than
that. you knock the stand ... Now look at it
Audience: Let's hope.
Ross: Yeah, we'll, well, I don't want to hope. I just go
out and ask for it. Okay? We're going to put this
together for all of you tomorrow. But see the thing is I
watch how people are talking and I want to see what's
more useful. I, I haven't grown out of it yet
completely. I have t do this. Someone came to me in
my gym. She's a friend of my trainer and she said, "I'm
going to take this NLP weekend course with this guy,
blank blank.” Okay?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And what do you think of Mr. Blank Blank?
And I said, "Well, you know, really ...” And my trainer
yelled at me. She says, "You're going to make her feel
like a dumbass.” I said, "If she goes to see what's,
what's this person's name, she is a dumbass.” She
said, "Well, you go tell her, go support her decision,
you were not nice.” So I went and, you know, cause
my trainer will beat me up if I don't. So, you know
what this guy did? He taught s omething called the
Metamodel. The Metamodel is a set of questions you
give to a client who comes in to help that client clear
up their internal dialogue. But it's not meant to be
used on yourself If you use the Metamodel on
yourself, what you do is wind up in this endless loop
of looking at your own internal dialogue to see if its
accurate, true or correct. So she was looping, it was
completely confused. And so you want to, when
someone asks for a change, you want to see if they're
stuck in a certain way of doing things. And it would
not be useful for him to loop on looking at what
thoughts or, or, or pathological _____ . Instead, it's
far more important to you if _____ what you want.
146
Okay? Oh, by the way, the more you find that the
images of what you want _____ do that, the more
motivated you'll feel towards moving towards things.
Do you ever have to argue yourself into doing
things?
Audience: Less so in the recent past than in the more
recent past.
Audience: yeah.
Ross: Whoosh, whoosh.
Audience: _____ t hat picture I see.
Ross: You know what? Do it with your own arms.
Take another picture that you can't see, very large,
pick one. Pick a picture that's small for you.
Audience: Okay. But, all my memories I can, I can see
them so ...
Ross: Okay, make it bigger. How would you make a
picture bigger? What would you do?
Audience: Okay.
Ross: Grab a hold of it. Whoosh.
Yates: This is the end of Side 13 of the Basic Speed
Seduction Seminar
147
Tape 7 – Side 2
Yates: Welcome to Side 14 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: Okay. But what if what you wanted to do was
so compelling and motivating, cause it's a big bright
picture.
Audience: Yeah, I have, I have hard time seeing big
bright pictures unless ...
Ross: Oh, yeah?
Audience: yeah.
Ross: Whoosh, whoosh.
Audience: _____ that picture I see.
Ross: You know what? Do it with your own arms.
Take another picture that can't see very large, pick
one. Pick a picture that's small for you.
Audience: Okay. But all my memories, I can, I can see
them.
Ross: Okay. Make it bigger. How would you make a
picture bigger? What would you do?
Audience: Okay.
Ross: Grab a hold of it. Whoosh. And then what?
Whoosh. Yeah. Does that make the memory more
vivid?
Audience: Oh, yeah.
Ross: More enjoyable?
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: And you'll notice that if you were to take each
and every memory that really serves and supports
your moving in a completely new way and found that
in your dream at night, you made those whoosh,
whoosh, whoosh, and all the ones that didn't work ...
Audience: Right. It's not the memories but the design
that, that I ...
Ross: Exactly.
Audience: the memories because I recall them to a
greater lesser extent. I can't picture those.
Ross: Right.
Audience: But the things that I want to design ...
Ross: The possibilities ...
Audience: I, I, I, I can't, I can think them, I can't see
them.
Ross: Oh yeah? Oh, see what he did. He said I can
think them _____ back here. God, you're fucking
stubborn. I'm going to ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: If I have to pull it out of you, I will. It's like
pulling teeth. You want to give me a hand, Kim? Let's
take this one. Pop.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Alright. Look at it.
Audience: Ah, it's pretty blank.
Ross: Okay, fill it in. Take the image here that's stuck
in your head ...
Audience: Uh huh.
Ross: Put it on a slingshot and ...
Audience: Uh huh.
Ross: Fling it out here.
Audience: Now it's like, color like a _____ .
Ross: Okay, good. Well good. So that means the
colors are there.
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Okay. So notice as they begin coalesce into
something.
Audience: Alright. Now I see your hand.
Ross: Okay. My hand is gone.
Audience: Okay.
Audience: laughter
Ross: What you can do this tonight in a dream.
Audience: Okay.
Ross: All right.
Major Mark: As to the original question, constantly ...
Ross: Oh, sorry.
Major Mark: To, ...
Ross: But it was useful.
Major Mark: Be that as it may, yeah it was. It was
great. But the thing is, constantly looking for
examples of pathological trance is a pathological
trance. Okay?
Audience: laughter
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Major Mark: Because ...
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: You're ...
Ross: Tie that knot tighter
Major Mark: You're focusing your awareness way
down too small. I mean you can easily recognize
everyone has the ability t o recognize when they're
being held back, when they're feeling bad, when
things aren't going the way you want. It's only
important to be able to recognize it long enough for
you to let go, Okay? You don't have to go looking for
it because your unconscious is a happy little slave. If
you want to go out looking for each and every
example of how you're, you hold yourself back, even
if you don't do it, you will. Because your unconscious
will generate lots of things for you to find. Okay? Be
careful about your language.
Ross: How are we doing here on presentation time?
You want to wrap it or you ...
Major Mark: No, I, I, I'm, I'm basically done.
Ross: Let's give him a thunderous
Audience: Cheers and applause.
Ross: Because it's process language. We are trained,
there's a difference between processed language and
content. Let me give you, content is facts, figures,
data that you can enter into a computer. Okay?
Anything that you could put in a computer database
in content. This pen is 50 percent more biodegradable
than the other leading brand. It comes in 10 designer
colors. Now what did I just say?
Audience: Was that a, you described all the
characteristics ...
Ross: Well tell me what I said. What, how many
colors does it come in?
Audience: 10 different colors.
Ross: How more, how, what percentage more
biodegradable is it than the other leading brand?
Audience: I believe it, that.
Ross: I said 50, but okay.
Audience: Okay.
Ross: Okay
Audience: But, but if it came ...
10 percent or something like
Ross: Okay, so I'm giving you content, But listen to
this. Here's process language. I'm going to sell you
pens. You work for some company that needs to buy
a lot of pens. I'll say, I'll say to you, "You know, I
don't know what it is you do when you go inside and
you think of the ideal pen product that you want for
this company, but as you think about that, as you
begin to really get clear on exactly the qualities and
characteristics of such a writing instrument, and you
begin to think of everything I say to you in exactly
that way, in exactly along those lines, I’m not sure
exactly what thoughts will begin to appear in your
mind, but I think it will help to make this presentation
a lot more enjoyable, a lot more fun and I want you to
realize that if you have any questions, just feel free to
ask me. Because understanding is part of the process
of making a good decision today with me.” So. what
did I just say?
Audience: I am completely tranced out.
Ross: I know.
Audience: Laughter and applause.
Ross: Now, now, can you repeat any of that?
Audience: Part of it was you couldn't, you didn't
know what factors, and that's it.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Now, but, but as I did that, were you thinking,
as I did that, what were you thinking in your head?
Audience: I, I, I was thinking it was good, but I
couldn't ...
Ross: Were you thinking of what kind of pen you
would like and what you would like in that pen?
Audience: No.
Ross: You may be, I think you were unconsciously.
See, here's the thing. When you use that kind of
vague language, people will go, "I don't know how
you were able to tell me exactly what I was looking
for.” And I didn't. All I did was tell you to think about
it. The reason why you can't remember it and why
they can't remember it, this is why I say don't worry
about it when you see articles where they give
patterns like, like the articles they write about me,
where they give away my patterns. People go, "Oh,
no. They'll recognize it.” No they won't. People have
amnesia for process language. They do not remember
it. They only undergo a process and wind up
wondering why.
Audience: I tried to recall what I actually said to the
girl 30 minutes later and I can't recall it.
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Ross: That's why I recommend you all keep a journal
and write down what you said so you can keep track.
I have seduction journals - you're never going to get
to see them - but here's one, no this is not one. I keep
a seduction journal where I write down exactly what I
said, what responses I got, and I date it. Keep a
journal. Keep a journal. Keep a journal. Keep a
journal. And by the way, go and buy a journal and
keep it. And make an entry every freaking day, even if
it's to say, "I did nothing today.” Or even if it's, even
if it's to say, "Today I just worked with one pattern. I
wrote it out and I spoke it out loud.” By the way, the
way, one of the ways to rehearse these patterns is out
loud. How do you rehearse the patterns?
Audience: Out loud.
Ross: It's okay to diagram them, it's okay to write them
out on flash cards, but you must rehearse them out
loud. Rehearse them out loud, listen, look up here, in
the exact posture you'd be in if you were using them.
So if you're going, if you want to rehearse walking up
and talking to women, don't rehearse it sitting down.
Rehearse it as if you're actually there, do, take some
steps, and imagine a woman in front and speak, and
Kim's going to show you how to do some of this,
speak with the pace and the tonality and the volume
you actually use if there were a real woman right in
front of you. Do not rehearse in the mirror. Why
should you not rehearse in the mirror? Because if you
rehearse in the mirror, it's telling your brain only do
this when you see yourself looking back at yourself.
Which means the only time you're going to be
seducing is when you're having an out of body
experience. And that's a different seminar.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? Yes sir.
Audience: How do you access them when you need
them?
Ross: You rehearse. Now this is a very, and listen to
me, this is important question. This is a big rule of
change. I want you to write this down. You get what
you rehearse. You get what you rehearse. If you want
a new behavior, you must rehearse it, explicitly and
vividly, over and over and over again. If you don't,
your brain won't know what to do different and it'll
just do what's familiar. This is the structure of a
slump. Let me show you something. Oh man, honey,
do I need some work here. I pinched something. Okay,
I can write on this. That's all right. This is the
structure of a slump. If you draw a circle, you at home
who are listening, as you reach for your wallet and
pick up the phone, draw a circle.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Hey, compared to some of these evangelists on
TV, I am a third-rate amateur. Oh, there's one of them
who I really admire because no matter how many
times he's convicted of a crime, he comes right back,
and I got to admire that man, that's faith.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "I'm sorry. I fucked it up so bad last time. Now
you got to send me more money cause I'm in more
trouble. Oh.”
Audience: Is that Jimmy Swaggert?
Ross: Ah, well, I don't want to name names.
Audience: Yeah. Comment from audience. Laughter.
Ross: "My legal bill's are huge. Satan is oppressing
me. It was only one prostitute, so what if she was five
and ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. You get, now this is a very important
principle for human change. I want you guys all to get
this. I want you to look up here and I'll give you
plenty of time to write it down, I'll repeat it three times.
I want you to look up here to really get it. I want you
to understand this. So, you know, as you think, now,
watch him go into trance again. I don't even have to
look at him or say anything. Cause some of you
probably didn't notice it as he was breathing, I was
pacing his breathing. That's right, with the movement
of the pen. I can look over here, I can stand up on one
foot like this, and talk to you about Bullwinkle, Rocky,
the situation in China, because what can happen
when a person can go all the way down, and this is a
magic pen. It's the pen of imagination and new
possibility and as you take it from me with your
imaginary hands, what does it mean to have imaginary
hands? And you close your eyes all the way, lids
down, now. And you find that movie screen in your
mind where anything can be possible, anything can
be tried on, anything can be tried out. All the way
down, You can take this magic marker, for that's what
it's called, and the magical thing about the marker is,
you can mark up new possibilities for yourself Okay.
Anyway. So, listen. This is a very important principle.
Look up here, I'll repeat it three times. Understand it
the first time. There's no difference between what you
dwell on mentally, between what you mentally review,
and what you're rehearsing to do the next time out.
This is why if you dwell on your mistakes, you know
what you're doing? You're inadvertently, without
knowing it, rehearsing those mistakes so your brain
150
will do them the next time around. That's how ...
Audience: Why do I always fuck up?
Ross: Yeah. If you ask questions like "Why do I
always fuck up?" you're going to review the times
you fucked up and the brain is an obedient little slave.
It goes, "Oh, he's giving me these images. It must be
what he wants me to do the next t ime around. So
that's what I do.” So you review, that equals shitty
behavior, that leads to limiting beliefs, that leads to
shitty questions which leads to shitty reviewing and
you're stuck in this shitty circle. It's actually, hang on
a minute. It's actually quite brilliant. There's a nice
structure there. Yes sir.
Audience: It's important, though, for me, to
acknowledge, okay, I made a mistake, that's over,
that's history, this is now.
Ross: Yes. That's, that's perfect. And you, you're
telling me congruently. See, you're much different
than you were the last two days. I appreciate this.
You, and also, his gestures told me that that's really
what he does. He takes it, throws it over his shoulder.
That's fine. But I'm talking about dwelling on
something. If you dwell on it over and over again,
there's no difference between what you dwell on and
what you rehearse. So watch what you put in there.
Okay? The same structure for the slump is the
structure for excellence. A structure for excellence
saying, "Hey, what did I do really well?" To review it
over and over and then when the, it comes time to do
it, your brain automatically does it for your, it builds
the belief that says, "Yes, I can continue' to improve
and learn to do anything well.” It's the same structure,
different content. See, you're probably well aware of
this, the content of your thoughts, but you probably
weren't aware of the structure. Cause the mind has
amnesia and is unaware of structure and, structure
and form. The more you become aware of the
structure and form of human thought rather than the
content, the more powerful you be, you begin to
become cause you see levels of experience that other
people aren't even aware are there. When you master
this stuff, you are operating at a different level of
understanding, cause, how many people were aware
of the exact nature of this structure before I just talked
about it? Okay? For a lot of you, it's the first time you
even realized that structure was there. Okay? Most
people in the world aren't even aware the structure is
there. They know they have these shitty thoughts,
but they're not aware, they're very familiar with the
content. If you ask them, "What are your shitty
thoughts?" they could tell you. But they're not aware
that this is the structure and the form. To the extent
that you become students of structure and form, you
not only learn how to do patterns but you learn how
to move people at a much deeper level. You becomes
masters of levels that most people don't even know
are there. And there are a lot of them. There are a lot
we won't teach in this seminar. Yes.
Audience: When we do behavior beliefs ...
Ross: And the questions you ask yourself Well, if I
say to you, what's your name?
Audience: Jason.
Ross: If I say Jason, ask your, close your eyes and
ask yourself this question. Why do I always fuck it up
with the women I really want? Ask yourself that
question. What pops into your mind, what image
pops into your mind when you ask yourself that?
Jason: Ali, the stuff we were doing yesterday when I
was up there. It seems to be an _____ bearing
question still.
Ross: Yeah. The questions you ask tend to generate
the imagery in your mind. Forgive me. My throat is
giving me some challenges today. By the way, the
guy, you guys look different today. Yo u look much
more alert.
Audience: On the pattern languaging does it, I
imagine it works well on a conscious level with
women, too, because they don't talk in statistics data,
they ...
Ross: Well, consciously, here's what they're aware of
Consciously what they're aware of is a sense of real
comfort that they met someone who talks about
things that interest them. But they still won't
remember what you said. And in fact, if you tell them
what you said, they don't care. I, when my early career
in doing this, I would tell women after I was sleeping
with them, here's what I did with you. And they went,
"No, you didn't do that. I, I, I love you cause you're
this and this and this.” And I go, "No, that's what I
did.” They go, and they just rationalize it. They go,
"Oh my god, someone who cared enough about me to
learn to talk this way. Wow, great.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: I'm not kidding. I'm not
kidding. They think it's wonderful that someone cared
enough about pleasing women that it would go to all
this trouble.
?: Cause he can talk for an hour saying nothing.
Ross: Ahhhh.
Audience: laughter.
151
Ross: You just got stabbed in the throat and in the
back.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Well, wait. He's making a good point. He, he,
he's, he's well, he's making a good point. Shhh. He's
making a good ...
Girl: He's implying that women are naturally better at
this than guys.
Ross: Yeah, There you go Bunny.
Audience: laughter
Bunny: Women are naturally, naturally master
bullshitters, we can talk on the phone, we can give
rapport to anybody, whereas guys are, can't do it.
We're better at this. That's what _____ .
?: _____ clueless about that and I'm learning how to
_____ .
Ross: But you're, but you're leaving that cluelessness
behind.
Audience: Comments from audience.
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Orion: And that's to think about, yeah, how
much energy women put into communicating in this
way, into understanding relationship. I mean the
relationship books are all bought by women for most
part to, you know, that's what they use to sell a lot of
the glamour magazines, and they're, and they focus as
they talk to other people about relationships, the way
people interact, what they could have done better,
what they could have done worse. And it's now
finally that, you know, some guys are, have gotten it
together enough, like you guys to come out here and
realize it's worth the effort as well. Ross: That right.
We came out from our underground lab in Los
Alamos ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Doctor Teller and I, yes sir. What's your name?
Audience: Roger.
Ross: What's up Roger?
Roger: There's a book by Deborah Tannin that talks
to it, I think the name is called WOMEN AND MEN
DON'T UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER.
Ross: Yeah.
Roger: It talks about how men, women communicate,
They speak on like higher _____ planes. They're
competing when they talk about sports or politics.
They're competing to show ...
Ross: Yeah. But women compete, too. You should
hear a woman talk about another woman's looks
behind her back.
Audience: Oh yeah. Laughter.
Roger: While women supposedly as the theory goes
speak more on a bonding terms, you know, "Oh, the
same thing happened to me yesterday. I, I, I
experienced what you're going through.”
Ross: Right.
Roger: So it's more of a bonding pattern.
Ross: Right.
Roger: Rather than a competing ...
Ross: Right.
Roger: Competitive pattern.
Ross: And ...
Roger: Men are supposedly ...
Ross: And, and, yeah, and therefore, yeah, I agree.
And the conclusion, I agree with you, you're right.
Roger: All I'm saying in terms of what we're talking
about it seems to work into it, if you can speak the
language, the so-called language of women which,
according to this theory, is that, you know, they like
to bond, they want to get to know one another, they
...
Ross: Well, but that's n ot quite what I'm talking about.
Listen to me. That's not quite what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the language of process. See, all
these books written for women don't really help the
women. If they did, they wouldn't need any more
books. Think about it. There are millions of books, ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: There are millions of books, there are, I would
say conservatively there are at least 500 different
titles on the subject of losing weight and making
money. But we don't have a world filled with skinny
millionaires. So something is wrong somewhere. Ah,
what's wrong is they're still giving content. These
books are content books where they give different
pieces of information rather than getting people to
focus on process and form. What I'm teaching is sort
of Zen-like. Zen is not about content. Zen is about the
process of thought and engaging in different kinds of
thought process. Okay? But let's skip; let's move on.
What I want to do now is take one minute to turn this
off and switch on to a t ape that we will not use as part
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of the course.
?: That's what we've done.
Ross: Oh, but I did want to use this part. I want ...
?: We'll transfer.
Ross: All right.
?: This may be _____ to edit.
Ross: Well, okay. Can you edit using this equipment?
?: It's a special type.
Ross: All right, okay.
?: You're
Ross: Okay, but the last part I want is part of the
course we're doing. Okay. I want to bring people up
now, I want to talk about Manny the Martian. How
many people did the exercise? Okay? All right, good.
How many new people who have never been to the
seminar before, this is their first seminar, did not do
the exercise?
Audience: I didn't do it, but I did something else.
Ross: Well, okay. All right, let's talk to people who ...
Audience: Comment from audience
Ross: I just went into trance there. Of course if I didn't
do it, then I like, implication, you had to do something
else. Let's talk to some people who did it and had
some fun learning it. Someone raise your hand if you
did it and had a fun learning. Why, I know you would
do it. One of you come up here.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You would go up and go, "My name is Peter
Penis.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I don't think ...
?: _____ let me show you _____ penis.
Ross: Ah, the battery on this is low. We need to have
a battery replacement. By the way, Brother Orion?
Girl: Now, how fast do you think I ...
Audience: I, I had no idea where to go from there.
Ross: There was no where to go from there.
Audience: I said, and I said, "Great. Would you like
some more?"
153
Ross & Audience: Laughter
154
Audience: And she said, "Sure.” I said, "Okay.”
Ross: Okay. Did you try it with anyone else?
Audience: I didn't try that but I did try something else
I'd never done before.
Ross: Oh. Follow directions. But tell us what you did.
Audience: The, the hostess who seated us, very
attractive young lady, and ...
Ross: I've noticed that's often the case.
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: The ugly ones are in the kitchen.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: And I said, she seated us, and asked blah,
blah, blah, blah. And I said, I put my hand to my
forehead to be, you know, making a gesture, I said, "I
know you.”
Ross: Ah.
Audience: "Have you lived around here for a while?"
And I kept my hand on my forehead. And she said,
"Yeah, a couple of years.” And I said, "I know where
it is. I've been reading a book on angels and you're on
the cover.”
Ross: Ha, ha, very good. And how did she respond?
Audience: And she was, and I was, I was shaking,
"My name's Paul.”
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: And I held on to her hand for a good
minute ...
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: And she's very, very busy, it was, you
know, Saturday night at ...
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: TGI Friday.
Ross: How did she respond when you said, "you
were on the cover?" Did she smile and laugh?
Audience: She smiled, she glowed ...
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: It was like she
Ross: Good.
Audience: tilted her head and it was ...
Ross: Now that's an example of the kind of thing
where if you tell a guy that would work, he'd go, "No
155
way, " but women respond to it. Excellent, very good.
Audience: I never would have tried that.
Ross: No. Well, good, good. Give him a big hand.
You're making good progress.
Audience: Applause.
Ross: Ah, the point of the exercise is, is to get you,
number one, to get you moving so you can actually
say something. And, by the way, this is another
exercise where we, where we're forgetting about the
content. We're giving you nonsense content so
instead you can focus on the process. And the
process is to go up, get moving without hesitation,
move, say something, and watch the response. And
to train your attention to go somewhere other than
inward into your own internal dialogue and instead
direct it outward and watch the response you're
getting. Those of you who did not do the exercise are
robbing yourselves of a very important skillset that
you need to learn. Speed seduction is not just about
knowing what words to say, it's also about noticing
responses and paying attention. Hang on. Okay?
Knowing what responses to look for and what to
listen for is as important a pattern of seduction as
knowing all the words. So, who didn't do the exercise?
My purpose is not to shame you but to find out if
there's something I can do to facilitate you're doing
the exercise. Is there something I could have told you
that ...
Audience: I was tired and went to sleep.
Ross: Okay. No problem. I understand, You?
Audience: I just, I don't know, I just didn't want to do
it. It seemed too goofy so I went up to a waitress ...
Ross: Goofy is the point.
Audience: Yeah, I guess so. So I went up to a
waitress and I, I told her she was ... Ross: No, I don't
want to hear this.
Audience: Okay.
Ross: This is not important. My point is I want you to
do something goofy because that takes your mind off
of having to g et a result and allows you, frees you up,
to pay attention to the other person's response. You
understand? Who else didn't do it? Well, that's okay.
You didn't do it? Bad boy. Why didn't you do it? By
the way, thank you for this. It's helping.
Audience: Because, I, I was, I got, I got _____ onto
the concept of frameworks and I got absorbed in that
whole idea which I hadn't understood before and I
wanted to practice that.
Ross: Okay. But you are, but you will do the exercise?
Do it several times. Yes sir.
Audience: I didn't do it.
Ross: Why not?
Audience: I thought it was goofy, but ...
Ross: It is ...
Audience: I, I should do it.
Ross: It, hang on. It is goo, wait. Let's get this out of
the way. It is goofy. I designed it to be goofy. I
designed it to be goofy. If it's goofy then you don't
have to worry about whether she accepts or rejects
you cause that's not the point anyway.
Audience: That's true.
Ross: That's the, I made it goofy okay?
Audience: I watched people get kicked out of the mall
being goofy.
Ross: You got kicked out?
Audience: Oh yeah. What?
Ross: All right.
Audience: Applause and cheers.
Ross: He gets some kind of tape or something. Get
him a tape. That's the whole point.
Audience: I ran into him when five security guards
?: What happened?
Ross: Would they physically grab you? They didn't
put their hands on you? Tell us.
?: Tell us the story. Tell us about it.
Audience: I went up to like five people, five women ...
Ross: In a group or separately?
Audience: Separately, and _____ I didn't make it like,
I made to a, I made it past like five stores, didn't
even go through the whole mall. And all of a sudden I
caught beautiful-looking woman in a black dress who
actually worked there in a store. And all of a sudden,
you know, all the responses were like, "uhhh,
I don't know what the hell you're talking about, you
know.” Now most of them said they, they don't see
any, they don't have any ...
Ross: Uh huh. So, get to the security guards. Do they
come running after you?
156
Audience: Twenty security guards come on to me and
store owner ...
Ross: What did they say?
Audience: Guy comes up and he's like, "Did you make
some vulgar remarks ...”
Ross: No.
Audience: "to a person?" I was like, "No.”
Ross: You should go, "We Martians don't understand
vulgarity.”
Audience: Laughter
?: Or you talk to him and say, "My name is Manny
Martian.”
Audience: I told him, and, the drill like, "Have you
been in the store?" I was like, "No, I didn't even walk
through the whole store yet. I was, I just walked in.”
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: You know, and they're, they're like, "Well,
let's go and find out.” You know? And go up there
and there she is, you know, standing there
putting up clothes on the rack, you know, and she's
like, "Yeah, that's him.” You know?
Ross & Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Good, good for you.
?: You know what I'd say to him?
Ross: Now, now ...
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Now, if you can do this, then you can, then, if
you can do this, then it's going to be easy to walk up
say, "Forgive the interruption. I just want to tell I
think you are absolutely breathtaking and I had to
meet you.” By the way, if you were to try this exercise
with a haircut and an Armani's suit? Different ball of
wax.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: What did you say to her?
Audience: I said, "Hello, . Excuse me. Can I tell you
something? Hello. My name is Manny Martian. What
flavor, flavor bowling ball do you like?"
Brother Orion: Then what did she say?
Audience: Response
?: _____ come on in.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: We're having fun. Oh my god, look. You walk in
and look at this wonderful scene. Look, look, look.
?: The ducklings.
Ross: The ducklings.
?: _____ two or three words wrong.
Ross: That's so cute.
?: I'll say _____ .
Ross: Look at that. He's out here, so mom's out with
her little ducklings.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Well, sit up here. Come on in.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Come in and have a seat. That's so funny. Get
him, give him a big hand.
Audience: Applause. Response from audience.
Ross: Did you?
Audience: The security guards were ...
Ross: We have a special guest. Come up just to say
hello just for a second. This is my good friend and
colleague and one of the most amazingly fantastically
gifted NLP trainers in the entire world. Rex Sykes. Say
hello Rex. It's so good to see you up here.
Audience: Applause.
Ross: It's so good to see him here. Rex is based in
Milwaukee.
Rex: Correct.
Ross: Yes. If you want to get trained in NLP, go here.
Did you bring any kind of ...
Rex: I brought some postcards on the home study
course.
Ross: Cool. So at the break if you want to get
postcards or talk to Rex ... When are you doing,
you're doing a practitioner training, what are you
doing?
Rex: On Friday we're doing a 14-day training, we've
got, I think, two spaces left. If that's, but our postcard
will have website contact information.
Ross: Cool. He's absolutely superb. He's an incredible
trainer. He's unbelievably good. Anyone here study
with Rex before? What do you think?
Audience: Hey, he allowed to get my trainers training
with Richard.
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Ross: Ha, ha. So Rex is going to be training with us in
Cancun, yes. So, I'm excited. Go have a seat.
Rex: Thank you.
Ross: All right. Good.
Rex: Good to see you all. I'll be here for a little while.
Ross: And Rex has also got some other cool skills.
He's an actor, he was a magician. The real cool thing
is Rex also used to be a street preacher. Yeah?
Rex: Yeah.
Ross: An evangelist? That's so cool. Do you ever run
into people who you converted back in your early
career?
Rex: Oh, yeah.
Ross: Really? This is cool. I got to ask you. Like, what
do you tell them? Do they say ...
Rex: I go, pray to God, keep going.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: That is so cool.
Rex: It's not my job to be a stumbling block. You
know? It's my job to allow people to grow and
develop in whatever way they choose for themselves
and so I go _____ , If they go, "Why are you doing
what you do?" I go, "Cause I'm moving on and
developing. God bless you.”
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: That's too funny.
Rex: I have _____ .
Ross: Cool. Yeah. You know, give them out at the
break. And also Rex is going to be a dad soon, right?
Rex: Yeah.
Ross: How's that going? When, when is Carolyn due?
Rex: July, towards the end of July. Ross: July. Cool.
Cool. His wife has the greatest voice. Okay? Do not
call 1-800-REXSYKES and try to speed seduce his
wife.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Cause she's used to it. Okay. Who else did the
exercise and wants to come up and share? Come on
up. Amos. Yes. Give him a hand. All right.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Rex? Rex? Just so you know what we're talking
about, I gave people the assignment, it's sort of, it's
an exercise in learning to pay attention to people's
responses. So I gave the assignment of going out and
saying, walking up to women and saying, "Excuse me.
Forgive the interruption. I just want to tell you my
name is Manny Martian. What's your favorite
flavored bowling ball?" And then their job was to
watch the response the person had when they went
inside to process it and what they looked like when
they came back out. okay? So, tell us about it. What
did you do?
Amos: Well, I didn't do it last night like I was
supposed to. I ...
Ross: Put your hand out. No, no. Like that. Aversion
therapy.
Amos: I tried, but I had problems. I had like about four
or five very good opportunities and I just didn't do it.
Ross: Okay, let's talk about that. Let's talk about it.
Stop for a minute. So, let's talk about how you know
when you have an opportunity. So what do you mean
by that? What was the opportunity?
Amos: Well, there were women walking by ...
Ross: Uh hmm.
Amos: And ...
Ross: Women were walking by.
Amos: Well I was going out ...
Ross: What neighborhood were you in? Cause I want
to go.
Amos: No, no, I was walking along the street and like
one instance, I was walking down the street and this
waitress was coming out of the restaurant.
Ross: Uh hmm.
Amos: She was going to get in a car to leave and
instead of me going, going up to her and s aying
something, I just heard a voice in my mind that said,
tin, no ...”
Ross: Stop.
Amos: "She wouldn't want ...”
Ross: Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, Stop, stop. Now
here's where we're going to deal with something we
did earlier. What did he say? He said, "I heard a voice
in her, my mind. It said ...” What was the sound the
voice made?
Amos: It said, "No.”
Ross: No. Before it said that, it made a sound. What
was the sound it made? Ahhhh.
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Amos: Ah, yeah, something ...
Ross: All right. I'm going, we're going to play a game,
We're going to play a ventriloquist dummy. Okay?
Amos: Ahh.
Ross: l have to do that sound. So put your hand on
my back. I'm your dummy. Okay? No, here's where
you operate the dummy. Okay? Now, l want to make
that sound in my mind exa ctly the way you made it.
So what's the sound I make?
Amos: It said, "Ahhh, no.”
Ross: Before you do the dialogue, just make the
sound.
Amos: Ahhh.
Ross: Like that? Abh?
Amos: Yeah.
Ross: Okay. I want you to try something. Close your
eyes. Say that sound again.
Amos: Ahh.
Ross: Ahh. Let's do it again.
Amos & Ross: Ahh.
Ross: I think I got it. Ahh, ahh. Okay. Now, can you
go, ah hah?
Amos: Ah hah.
Ross: Okay. Put your hand here. You want to help him
with this Kim? You want to help him a little bit now?
Before you do your major presentation? Yeah? Okay.
Kim'll come up and help me with this cause she's ...
Kim: We're going to do it.
Ross: Okay. Okay. Now, look at me. Can you go, "You
ever seen something so delicious that you really, you
had to put it in your mouth? It was really good to eat.
Ahhhh.” Or, "Have you ever come home from a really
hard day and relaxed completely and went ahhhhh?"
You ever done that?
Amos: Yeah.
Ross: Can you make that sound?
Amos: Ahhhh.
Ross: Ahhhh. Okay. So, I want you to put your hand
on my back. Okay, I'm your dummy. Okay, let's do the
sound that you made it the first way.
Amos: Ahhh.
Ross: Ahhh. Okay. Now can you do the relaxed kind
of ahhh?
Amos: Ahhhhh.
Ross: Ahhhhh. That's right. Now close your eyes.
Imagine you see those women and instead of making
an AHHH go ahhhh.
Amos: Ahhh.
Ross: Here watch this. Put your shoulders up like this.
Look at me. Now drop them as you go ahhhh.
Amos: Ahhh. Ross: Yeah. Exactly. Okay, now in your
head, exactly, this feels different. Now look. Close
your eyes. Now when you see the woman, instead of
going AHHH go, put your shoulders up and drop
them and go ahhhh.
Amos: Ahhh.
Ross: Yeah, make that sound in your head. There you
go. Want to do a little with him?
Kim: You already got him _____ .
Ross: You already got him, hahahaha. Okay? Feels
different?
Amos: Yes.
Ross: Now, remember what I said the other day. I said
the sounds you make on the inside will determine
what circuits you open, what dialogue you engage in.
It's not what you said to yourself It's that sound you
make before you start the dialogue that determines
what circuits are going to open. Now, given what you
did, no one could have done it. I guarantee you if you
took anyone off the street and had them make that
sound in their head, not a single person would have
been able to go up and do it. Absence and real
stimulus like a gun to their head. Cause then they
would have gone "AH my fucking god, I better go do
it!" Okay? So, granted that you made that sound in
your head, it is not your fault. It's the sound's fault.
Amos: Okay.
Ross: Okay? Granted it's the sound's fault, let's blame
the sound and tell the sound, "Fuck you, You're never
coming around again.” Okay?
Amos: All right.
Ross: It's like a, if you were driving down the street,
okay? And there's a little midget in the front seat and
every time you got near a car it went, "Oh my god.
Fucking look out. AHHH.” You know? You'd be
crashed.
Audience: Laughter
159
Ross: You know. It's not your fault. It's the midget's
fault. So you got a little midget sound and you're
going to get rid of it. Okay?
Amos: All right. Ross: All right.
Amos: had one. Do …
Ross: Oh. Let me show you how you do that. Here's
the thing that Kim is going to be teaching later today.
So when Kim comes up here, you really want to pay
close attention. Not just cause she's, looks
babe-a-liciously cute in that outfit. You do, Bunny.
Your legs are looking good. Ummm. When you look at
a pair of legs like that, what sound do you make to
yourself?
Amos: Uh huh.
Ross: Look at him.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Just look at him. What sound do you make?
Make it.
Amos: Ummmin
Ross: Unmmm. Yeah. Very good.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: She's, her legs are the instant tonality
transformer.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: I don't even need to talk. I'll just get up here and
flash my legs.
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: Laughter. Response from audience.
Ross: Yeah. Very good. See, now this is fun. Doesn't
it feel better to make those sounds?
Amos: Yeah.
Ross: Okay. Now part of the way you make sounds
and Kim is going to be showing you this in a very
exquisite way, she's very good at this. I'm thrilled to
have her here. Is, look at this. When you come home
from a hard day at work, where are your shoulders
usually?
Amos: Down.
Ross: If you, when you take, ahhh, when you really
sigh, what do you do?
Amos: up.
Ross: And then you relax them. Drop them, go ahhhh.
Do it again. Make the sound.
Amos: Ahhh.
Ross: Ahhh, ummm. Okay, Kim's going to work with
you more on this and the entire room. But here's the
thing. That is no problem. I understand how you
didn't do it. How you didn't do it is that sound that
was there. And that sound that was there was a big
problem. Right?
Amos: Right.
Ross: For anyone. Would you agree?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: I mean, but you know, if you, as you learn to
make different sounds in your mind you'll realize. The
question to ask yourself is what circuits do you want
to open in your mind? Because here's the thing. If you
can learn to open the night circuits in your mind,
guess what you can learn to do with her mind?
Amos: I can open up all circuits in her mind ...
Ross: That's right.
Amos: But, correct circuits.
Ross: That's right. And now when you think of, of a
woman who you're really attracted to and really think,
I don't want you to think of that woman right now, but
if you were to think about her, what circuits do you
think you'd like to have open in her mind?
Amos: Pleasure
Ross: Yeah
Amos: Fantasy, fulfillment
Ross: Yeah. Stop a minute. What if her mind was like
the magic door in the story of Aladdin? That if you
said the right word in the right way, the door would
open? How would you say pleasure in order to open
the pleasure circuit in her mind?
Amos: Pleasure.
Ross: Very good. Now, what if, that's exactly right. It
feels good. What are some of the other things,
circuits you want to open in her mind?
Amos: Pleasure, excitement.
Ross: Okay. How would you say excitement to open
the excitement circuit?
Amos: Excitement.
Ross: How about excitement?
Amos: Excitement.
Ross: Yeah, good. Okay. Kim's going to work with
160
you more, good, give him a hand?
Kim: That was more like it.
Audience: Applause.
Ross: That's good. You can stay up if you want, if
you're comfortable. Huh.
Kim: If I'm not doing anything.
Ross: Oh, okay. Well then, your legs are a good
change stimulator.
Kim:
Ross: No, woooo. Oooh, sit down.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Bad thing, bad thing. She knows where to hit.
Anyone else try the exercise? Come on up brother.
What's your name? Brother what?
Audience: Michael
Ross: Brother Michael, have a seat. I like this. What's
the vest made of?
Yates: Kind of a suede.
Ross: Suede?
Yates: Yeah.
Ross: I had a lamb suede vest. Women would come
up and go, where did they all want to feel this?
?: Yeah, that's how it works. Ross: Yeah. Okay, talk.
What did you do?
Michael: Well, I was going to do the exercise last
night, but I didn't have the opportunity.
Ross: Uh huh.
Michael: So, to, so I thought, well, I'm not going to
get to do the exercise so, but I was thin king about it
all the time, looking as I watched there with some
friends.
Ross: Hold on a minute. We're going to play a game
with you. Where's my metronome? Where's my
metronome? Is it here in the room? Okay. Well we
don't have it. You need to slow down. You're talking
so fast that even if people want to understand you,
it's going by way too fast. I mean, I'm pretty hyper,
but I'm going to have to make a cappuccino, cornhole
cocktail ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: to keep up with your speed. So, slow down;
we're all listening. Pace yourself. Go ahead.
Michael: Last night, I went out to dinner with some
friends and didn't have the opportunity. So, this
morning I decided I was going to have some fun if I
could find an opportunity that presented itself. And it
did.
Ross: Tell us about it.
Michael: As I came out, to check out the hotel
downtown, I, I was, didn't see anyone that looked
particularly attractive, just didn't present itself. So I
pretty much had given up.
Ross: Now, hang on just a minute. Nowhere in the
assignment did I say approach someone attractive. I
just said approach, but go ahead.
Michael: Anyway, well I choose to approach an
attractive person.
Ross: I understand.
Michael: So, as I'm getting out of the elevator, all of a
sudden there is s omeone there _____ at the door and
...
Ross: Isn't that interesting how opportunities just all
of a sudden they're there?
Michael: Exactly. And it presented itself and she was
startled and she was coming on to the elevator and
didn't see and she jumped back. And I said, "Oh,
excuse me.”
Ross: Could I ask you a question?
Michael: My name is Manny Martian.
Ross: No, but remember, the exercise was, "Excuse
me. Forgive the interruption. I just wanted to tell you
...” and you want to pause. Now what's the purp ose
of pausing? What does it do when you ...
Michael: Grabs the attention.
Ross: Right.
Michael: Well, I had her attention cause she was
startled and ...
Ross: Well, so would ...
Michael: that was the interruption.
Ross: So would Ted Bundy. You know.
Michael: Anyway, it worked. And so she, she rolled
her eyes back for a second ...
Ross: Now hold on. Show us what she did with her
facial expression and her body movements when she
went inside. What did she do? Show us.
Michael: She just went back ...
161
Ross: Like that.
Michael: and looked up for a second and then she
said, "I don't have any.”
Ross: I don't have any.
Michael: She didn't speak English very well. She got
the thing but she just basically said, and I said, "But
you have everything you need. Nice to see you.”
Ross: Cool.
Michael: So I did that.
Ross: Cool. Is that it?
Michael: That was my _____ . No, there were two.
Ross: Tell us the other one, ...
Michael: So I was about ready to ...
Ross: then we need to take a pee break.
Michael: All right.
Ross: Cause I hear bladders going uhhhh.
Michael: Should I go faster?
Ross: No. That's all right.
Michael: I'll slow down.
Ross: I, I ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I have trainer ears. When you have trainer ears,
you hear bladders squeaking and bowels rumbling
and people leaving the room. Go ahead.
Michael: Interesting. The second opportunity it was
actually checking out and they said, "What's your
room number?" and I said, "Fourteen ten.” And she
said, "Mr. So and So?" It was the wrong one cause I
had transposed the numbers.
Ross: Trance posed the numbers. Yeah, go ahead.
Michael: So, I said, "No my name is Manny Martian.
And I'm, well, I would like to ask you a question. Do,
what is your favorite flavor of bowling ball?" And
she's an African-American lady and she looked back
for a second and said, "Chocolate.”
Ross: Ali, good.
Michael: I said, "Me, too.”
Ross: Good.
Audience: laughter
Ross: All right. Have a seat. Ten minute ...
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: I want to go over some of the, the basic tools
like quotes, negation, embedded commands, trance
words, and most importantly I want to go through
context. Because a lot of you I know now have a basic
understanding of how patterns work, but you're,
you're still not sure exactly in what context which
patterns to start with. I know a lot of you would like
more of a road map. It's sort of right now you've
looked at the showroom floor, you've seen what the
car can do, now you want a map saying, "Ross, given
that I want to drive here, tell me which patterns to use,
" and I will do that, so that when you come out of
here, you have like two or three different game plans
that you can try. Fair enough?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: So, you're looking and it's second down, three
yards, what play do I use? Now, once y ou get familiar
with doing this, I want you to begin to write your own
playbook and call your own play, but I will provide
that for you. That's only fair, yes?
Audience: yes.
Ross: I know, even though you're going to lie to me
and tell me it's not true, I know that there's still a lot of
confusion and open loops in the room. I've done that
deliberately because I've sort of overloaded you and
now today's the day where we tie everything together
in a nice package and you're going to feel that sense
of completion getting stronger and stronger as the
day moves forward. Okay?
Audience: Okay.
Ross: Fair enough?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So, yes?
Audience: I had a couple of questions about
yesterday.
Ross: Okay. I'll tell you what. Hold that and we're
going to do this and then we'll go back to your
questions. So, one of my favorite tools as we
discussed yesterday is quotes. Now quotes does a lot
of things. You can use quotes to, as a conversational
framework. ”I was watching the most interesting show
on TV. They were interviewing a man on the
Discovery Channel who makes his living designing
rides, attractions. And he said boom.” Got it? You can
use quotes to test someone's boundaries. You know, I
can't believe, so you can use quotes as what I call a
sexual accelerator. -You know? Towards the end of
162
the time you're spending with her you can test to see
if she's ready. You can go, "You know, some guys are
so crude. I was at this bar and a guy walks right up to
this girl and he says, 'I want to tongue your beaver till
you s cream for mercy. ' Did he really expect her to feel
that and think about it all night long, Debbie.” Now,
do you hear the commands in there? Feel that, think
about it all night long? The thing to understand with
commands is low play, low key them. I step on them
here so you can hear it, but the more you put them in
quotes, the stronger you can be with it. Okay? If you
put something in quotes you can really step on it
cause it's not you saying it. So, here's an example with
the famous joke we call Voodoo Dildo. So, I'm going
to tell this joke. All right? And when I do a command,
I'm going to wave my hands like this so you can hear
it. Okay? Right?
Audience: Right
Ross: So, this businessman is leaving town and he's
kind of concerned because he knows his wife is a
nymphomaniac.
Yates: This is the end of Side 14 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
163
Tape 8 – Side 1
Yates: Welcome to Side 15 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: The famous joke we call Voodoo Dildo. So I'm
going to tell this joke, all right? And when I do a
command I'm going to wave my hands like this so you
can hear it. Okay? Right?
Audience: Right
Ross: So, this businessman is leaving town and he's
kind of concerned because he knows his wife is a
nymphomaniac. And he knows that as soon as he
leaves town she's going to think to herself, "You
gotta get some right now. Go for it.” So he goes to the
sex toy shop to see if he can find anything to keep her
occupied. He's looking around and amongst the
blow-up dolls, sheep and, you know, the different
little vibrators and balls, but he doesn't really see
anything that catches his attention or interest. He
notices behind the counter there's an ornately carved
wooden box. And he says to the proprietor, "What's
that?" And the guy says, "Oh, that's the Voodoo
Dildo. Let me show you.” He opens it up and there on
a bed of red satin is what appears to be an ordinary
white plastic vibrator. The guy says, "Voodoo
Dildo?" And the proprietor says, "No, watch this.” He
says, "Voodoo Dildo, door.” And with that the
Voodoo Dildo magically rises up out of the box, flies
across the room and starts slamming into the keyhole,
bang, bang, bang. Just as the door is about to splinter
off its hinges and go flying out into the road, the guy
says, "Voodoo Dildo, box.” And with that the
Voodoo Dildo magically flies back and like a leaf
coming gently to rest on the floor of the forest goes
back into the satin box. Well needless to say, he's
gotta have it. So, a thousand dollars later he wraps it
up in a package with a red ribbon, brings it home to
his wife, explains it to her, kisses her on the cheek and
off he goes. Now, for three days she thinks about it.
For three days she can feel the hominess building.
She can feel that growing desire, that hunger for
pleasure. Finally, she can't take it anymore, she rips
open the box, says, "Voodoo Dildo, my koochee.”
Now the Voodoo Dildo flies into her, its stroking her
at exactly the right angle, with exactly the right
pressure, exactly the way she loves it. And she starts
to have orgasm after rippling orgasm. She starts to
surrender to the amazing pleasure. Well this goes on
for five hours. At the end of five hours, she's a
nervous, jellified wreck. And she tries pulling it out
but the harder she pulls, the deeper in it goes, the
more she can feel that unbelievable pleasure. So she
figures, "Oh my god. I'm going to have to call 911"
And she picks up the phone, calls 911, they don't
believe her. She thinks, "Oh my god. I'll have to drive
to the emergency room.” She waddles to the garage
and she continues to have orgasm after amazing
orgasm. She's swerving all over the road. A copy
pulls her over. He says, "Okay lady. Let's see your
driver's license. How much have you been drinking
tonight?" "Officer, I haven't been drinking. It's the
Voodoo Dildo.” "Voodoo Dildo, my ass.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: So, and the interesting thing about dildos up
the ass that he is, no.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: No, no, no, no, no. So, one structure you can
use to embed things is jokes. Okay? Another one is
poetry, seduction poetry. Now if you're a member of
the SS list, we have seduction poetry we from time to
time. I'll tell you how to subscribe to that in just a few
minutes. It's free for paying customers at least.
Audience: Laughter. What is the SS list?
Ross: The SS list is a, that's a good question. The SS
list is a subscriber e-mail list. If you're on the internet
where students from all over the world, 15 different
countries I think we have, can exchange stories, can
exchange tips, information, what worked for them,
what didn't work, that sort of thing. And we'll tell you
how to subscribe to that later today. And again, it's,
there's no charge, I mean, you know, it's free. There
are some rules of etiquette that people have t o obey
or they get kicked off. I have kicked people off the list
before. Can I get some of that please? So jokes is a
good structure. Poetry is also very good. Poetry is
really, really good. Poetry may not be, you know,
technically quotes, but poetry is a way of talking
about a subject without you really being the one
saying it. I have a poem that goes something like this.
Chicks, who has ever used my fascination poem? Did
chicks eat it up?
Audience: Ooooh.
Ross: Now, poetry is really good for phone speed
seduction. If you call someone on the phone and go,
"Hey, listen to this Debbie. I just heard this amazing
poem. Someone sent me this on the internet.” Right?
So the poem goes something like this.
Have you ever been fascinated by someone who's
164
words just seem to captivate you? As you listen so
close and you start to wonder, "What would it feel
like to falling under a spell, ummm, so magic, being
spun by the sound of a voice who's rich was
spreading on down. Have you ever experienced
instantaneous connectio n to the point where your
thoughts moved in just one direction? People
sometimes say, "Please, just a kiss.” Funny how you
find yourself wishing the same wish. Your mind is
amazing when you really let it go, as you find yourself
picturing, ummm, you know. As those pictures get
bigger and that warmth starts to glow, spreading and
pulsing where you want it to go. Now what doorway
are we using there?
Audience: Body sensations
Ross: Body sensations. As those pictures get bigger,
visual doorway, and that warmth starts to glow,
spreading and pulsing where you want it to go, body
sensations, I will tell you all you desire me, I know,
you desire me? You step out of what was, invited,
slipped inside, what is that? Sexual metaphor. Feels
like warm rain between your sighs. And it's not
important that you find every inhibition has left far
behind. Now listen to this. We're going to do a little
boyfriend destroyer. And if in your mind another man
is around, watch as his picture drops straight to the
ground and gets smalle r and darker and fades into
space as a picture of us pops right in its place. What
did we just do? The boyfriend destroyer.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You, well that's what we did. We said, "And if
your heart there's another man around, " okay?
"Watch as his picture drops straight to the ground.”
Now, I didn't say, "Will his picture drop straight to
the ground, " I said, "Watch as his pictures drop,
drop straight to the ground, " meaning it's going to
happen. The only thing you can do is watch or not
watch. Okay? "Watch as his picture drops straight to
the ground and gets smaller and darker and fades into
space, as a picture of us pops right in its place.”
Audience: Where do we get a copy of this?
Ross: It's in your notes. I think the fascination poem
in our notes.
Audience: Is it? I don't think so. Responses from
audience
Ross: Is it in the notes or is it in one of the
workbooks? The fascination ...
Audience: It's in the little manual.
Ross: It's in the speed seduction book.
Audience: It's one of the news letters.
Ross: It's in one of the newsletters.
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Okay? It's in one of the newsletters.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: It gets smaller and darker and fades into space,
... What you've looked for so long you've finally
found, what you've longed for and hoped for has
finally come round. Okay? Now listen to me. You
could call her up, this is all quotes. You're not quoting
a person; you're just reading a poem. And now what
is the topic of that poem? Fascination? Connections?
You can say, and here's what you do. You say, "You
know Debbie. As I thought about it after I read that
poem, I thought, wow, isn't it interesting how people
connect with each other? Isn't it interesting?" This is
another great topic opener. Excuse me. Saying, "Isn't
it interesting. Isn't it interesting how people connect
with each other?" Now, what pattern would you go
into there? Incredible connection, which is in your
workbook. So, poetry is a great way, again, to quote
something. A. very interesting thing is that I and, and
we have a classically trained hypnotist here, I think
that jokes and poems and stories all work on the same
mechanism even though they appear different, one
from the other. They all work on the mechanism cause
they call connect with the deeper part of the mind.
They connect with the playful part of the mind, the
imaginative part of the mind, the part that's open to
suggestion, that's open to new possibility. ”And
when you open to nude possibility Debbie ...” Now,
that's called phonetic ambiguity. Phonetic ambiguity
in and of itself will not get you anywhere. Okay? It's
simply not enough to walk up to a woman and say,
"My best thoughts are not from above me, they're
from below me.” That's not going to get you a
blowjob, okay? And to talk about moving in a nude
direction; am I say new direction or nude erection?
Now, there have been people who have seen me do
this and I am blatant, I am clearly saying nude
erection. And I am doing this. Who is, some people
were with me in San Diego and I was doing this to a
waitress and I had my hands out like this. And I said,
"And you take this huge nude erection and you move
it deep inside.” And she wasn't getting it. She didn't
know that I was saying, they don't get it. But, in and
of itself it's not enough. You have to do it as part of a
chain of suggestions. Okay? But, so phonetic
ambiguity is used within a chain of suggestions to tell
the unconscious where they're going to go. All right?
165
So, some phonetic ambiguities are below me, like as in
the direction of above or below, and blow me, new
and nude. Someone else, what are some other good
phonetic ambiguities?
Audience: You're mine.
Ross: Yeah, that's another one. Your mind m-i-n-d or
you're, as in the contraction for you are, mine, m-i-n-e.
That's a very, very frequently used one.
Audience: Succumb
Ross: Succumb.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yes, when you succumb, that's yeah, succumb
is a good one. So you're saying suck come or
succumb. The Three Stooges used it, Curly said, "If at
first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do
suck seed.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's true. Yeah. Anyone else have a good one?
There, there are lots of them. Happiness or hap-penis,
you know.
Audience: Hop-penis
Ross: Hop-penis, yeah. Audience: Response from
audience
Ross: What?
Audience: Hot and ought.
Ross: Hot and ought? Ah, that's not a very useful
one, but okay.
Audience: Response from audience. By now
Ross: By now, yeah, okay. So, anyway.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Yeah, hot to know. Oh, ah, ah, harden me a
minute. I'll walk, get up and go to the bathroom and
go, "Harden me a minute.” Twat's that? I cunt hear
you. No.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: No, no, no. Don't use that. Don't use that. No,
do not. Okay. Speaking of saying do not use that, let
me show you another quick little tool, haha, quick
little tool? Negation.
Audience: You might want to drop the quick part.
Laughter
Ross: Yeah. You drop what you want; I'll drop what I
want. It's a repeater.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Not a breech loader, a repeater. Okay, look.
Negation. Negation is very simple. To negate
something you just put can't, shouldn't, mustn't, don't
... Now the purpose of negation is to, negation is
useful in a lot of different ways. One of the things
negation does is it takes any resis tance they might
express, expresses it for them and gets it out of the
way. So, for example, you can use this if she puts up
some last-minute resistance to your physical moves.
”Oh, this is going too fast. We shouldn't be doing
this.” Now the rule is to just agree with her. Now the
wrong thing to do is go, "Well, why do you think
that?" Why, why, why is that not useful to say,
"Why do you think that?"
Audience: Reinforces ...
Ross: It just reinforces the problem. She'll come up
with the reasons why she's right. So instead you say
something like, like this. Look up here. Ben, Brother
Orion. You're, you just, you guys are like noise
machines here. What is going on here? I know, but
now he's doing it.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: If you keep it up, you're going to be dead meat.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Cause if you're going to act impotent ...
Anyway. Never mind, ever again.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'm just kidding.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: No, I'm just kidding. Yes.
Audience: Could you restate the purpose of that tool?
Ross: Yes I can. Negation is useful for the following
things. It takes, it states someone's objection and
resistance before and, and dissipates it. ”You
probably couldn't ...” Let me put it another way. Let's
say you're making out with a woman. And she says
something like, "We shouldn't be doing this.” You
agree with her. Say, "You're right. I shouldn't be
putting my hand into your pants. There's no reason
for you, you absolutely mustn't feel the pleasure as
my finger goes here. I absolutely should not be taking
off your blouse and licking your beautiful nipples.”
Okay? You just tell her what you shouldn't be doing
and how she should not be responding as you
continue to do it. It, what it does is it dissipates
resistance. Now there's a second and equally useful
166
way to use negation. There's a class of women out
there that are called polarity responders. And a
polarity responder will automatically come up with
reasons why anything you suggest is incorrect. So,
negation is very useful for offering challenges.
Remember what I said. Do not supplicate, but instead
offer challenges and structure opportunities? So, if
you were to say to a woman something like this,
"You're probably not the kind of person who can look
past the surface and see something much deeper,
something really worth getting to know.” You know?
And then they're going to go, "Well, yes I am ... ...
You know, it's probably, you're probably not open
and adventurous enough to really want to explore this
kind of subject matter further with someone you
realize really understands it.” And they'll go, "Well,
yes I am. That's not true.” You understand? Now the
question is well, how do you know if someone's a
polarity responder? Okay? That's simple. It's a matter
of observation. If every time you say something they
say no it isn't or that's not true. Here's what a polarity
responder does. What a polarity responder does is
they look for differences. They look what, for what
doesn't fit. They take what you offer them and they
match it against what they already know and they see
what can't work or work, they disagree with. Now, that
can be useful. Understand that any strategy is useful.
That's particularly useful if you're in business. You
want a polarity responder at some point in the loop.
You don't want them when you're brainstorming
cause they'll kill the idea session, they'll kill the
creativity. But after you've come up with an idea, you
want the polarity responder to go, "Wait a minute.
You forgot about this where it could go wrong.” You
want someone to point out the pitfalls. You've just
got to keep them out of the loop where they're not
useful. Okay? But the problem with polarity
responders is they can't turn it off, they're stuck with
it. They're stuck with that strategy. Now the problem,
what happens is if someone comes along with
something that's so outside of their box, their circuits
fry because they have nothing to compare it against
and they shut down - ehhhhh. Okay? So, this is a
useful thing. So quotes, negation, what's another one
I can show you? Those are, those are ones we use
quite frequently when, when we speed seduce.
Major Mark: I have something on negation.
Ross: Yes.
Major Mark: If you were to this value say in hypnosis
for example, you'd find it a lively debate about
negation. Some people say that the unconscious mind
cannot process the negative. Others say that of
course it can process the negative and, in fact, both
of them are correct. If you have a strong sense of
rapport with a woman and you offer her a negation in
your speech, the sense of rapport allows you to
communicate directly with her unconscious mind and
the unconscious mind actually cannot discriminate
between the negative, the positive, it can't
discriminate between what is true and false, what is
fiction, what is reality. So when you offer a negation it
processes both sides. Okay? So your message
actually gets through. If, however, you do not have a
strong sense of rapport with a woman and you offer a
negation statement, they process the negative and
that's it. They agree with you. Okay? So, if you want
to work with things like, "Well, you probably can't
begin to feel that growing sense of arousal for
mysterious reasons.” Okay? Do that while she's not in
rapport and she will agree with you and she'll walk
out. Okay? If you do it while she's in rapport she will
follow right along because negation just drops out.
Ross: That's correct. Now there's something here to,
to realize overall. Overall everything we're showing
you for the whole weekend is designed to
communicate with that different part of the mind; the
part of mind where you bypass the critical factor.
Okay? With classical hypnosis what you're doing is
you're putting someone in an altered state that
bypasses the, the critical factor, the factor t hat says I
can't do this, I can't do that, this is what's possible,
this is what's not possible. And you take them into a
place where there're a whole new realm of possibilities
where anything can be tried on, where anything can
be tried out. So, I see you, hang on a minute. Just
wait. Okay? So, with the female what you're sort of
doing is you're bypassing what I call the criticism
factor. The criticism factor is that part of her mind that
says I only go for this kind of guy, I only go for a guy
who has this, I only have a, go for a guy who has
that, ah, I don't do this on the first date, I only do this.
Remember the story where the woman said, "I've
never done this with a guy I haven't known for at
least six weeks?" That's typical. Well the reason she's
doing it with the, the Brother who used that is
because he's bypassed that part of her mind. Now the
problem with the dating game is, you still have to deal
with that part of her mind. So you either have to
qualify yourself or you have to pretend to have those
things. When you use Speed Seduction you're
completely bypassing that part of her mind. You
understand? So all the tools we're showing you,
whether they're trance words, weasel phrases,
negation, embedded commands, quotes, the patterns
themselves, the conversational frameworks, they're all
167
designed to bypass those structures. And a lot of
what we've been doing this weekend has been
designed to bypass your structure in your mind that
before you walked in that door prevented you from
opening to new possibilities. Do you understand?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: So, we're in a sense speed seducing you into a
new realm of possibilities. We're doing to you in a
sense what you're going to be doing with women.
Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: And by the way, if you think I've been rambling
the whole weekend and jumping from topic to topic, I
have; but I'm doing it by design. Because today is the
day where everything gets tied up into a neat little
package and you're able to go out there and actually
use it. You understand?
Audience: Yes
Ross: And the other thing is, I want to bring up one
point, and Kim pointed something out to me. Thank
you, honey. Your observations are almost always
right on the money. She said there are a couple of
people in here who have a, the mindset of this is their
last ditch effort, this is it. And I'm here to tell those
people you may be correct, but nonetheless this is
not a magic bullet. Speed seduction is not a wonder
weapon in, in the sense that you're suddenly going to
be able to push a button and use it right away. This is
going to take time, practice and dedication. You will
get results. I will put you in touch with a community
of people who will support you in your ongoing
efforts. Okay? And understand that it's going to take
some time to get results. If you go out tomorrow and
walk up to the best looking woman in the world and
expect that you're going to take her home and ten
minutes later, your expectations are going to defeat
you. You must have the willingness to work with
these tools. This is not magic, it's mechanics. The
distinction is that magic you utter the words and you
get what you want. Mechanics means you have to do
the work. But there's a predictable structure to get the
results, but you must do the work. I saw your
question back there. Now you may ask it.
Audience: All right. With the ...
Ross: By the way, what's your name?
Audience: John Ross: Let me ask you a question. Are
you getting this?
John: For the most part, yes.
Ross: Okay. So let's talk about the part that you're not
getting, cause that's what I want to help you with. If
fact, come up here, come to the front.
John: My biggest problem is the negation button.
Ross: No, sit down. Now tell me what you were going
to say. What did you just say?
John: I don't know. The negation topic
Ross: All right. Actually, as a matter of fact, that's not
so.
John: It's like ...
Ross: Well, first of all I want you to ...
John: _____ .
Ross: I'm like the teacher. Spit out, spit out your gum.
Spit out your gum.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: There you go. All right. Now, what were you
saying?
John: Well, I, you know, I'm forward and all. I can ...
Ross: Hang on just a second. I'm not ready.
John: My question is ...
Ross: Well, I'm not ready. Wait.
John: Shouldn't, you really shouldn't ...
Ross: Good.
John: If someone says like a, you know, "No, I haven't
felt that instantaneous connection" you'd use,
"You're right, you really shouldn't feel that
instantaneous connection" and then go into the, if
they haven't felt and all ...
Ross: Yes, but you're starting from the wrong place.
And here's the wrong place you're starting from.
You're, let me say, the way you described your
problem is not what's really going on. I think you're
perfectly capable of communicating, you're perfectly
capable of describing what's going on, where you, up
until this moment have had a lack is what you
yourself can experience. See, it's not that you can't
communicate the patterns, it's that the patterns may
not resonate with something that you yourself have
experienced in here. So rather than giving you better
tools to talk, which I will give you and which you
have been getting, perhaps what you need to focus
on is learning to experience ... I have an intuition
about you. By the way, that's a very good pick-up
line, is to say, you know, "Excuse me. I know this is
going to sound strange, but I have an intuition about
168
you.” Why is that a good line? When you say to a
woman, "I have an intuition about You, " what state
do you put her into?
Audience: Intrigue
Ross: Intrigue and curiosity. So the moment before,
she was neutral. Now you've moved her into curiosity
and intrigue. I have an intuition about you. And we're
all safe here and no one's going to tell on anyone. My
intuition is that you have in your past experienced
some altered states of consciousness.
John: Definitely.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And, and, and, and by that I don't mean yoga or
meditation or ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: No, I'm just saying, my, my sense is that you,
that you're primary vehicle for having experience,
different kinds of experience in life, has been
chemically induced?
John: Yep.
Ross: Okay.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: No problem. We all go through that phase.
Some of us are stuck in that phase of development.
Some of us get out rather quickly because they don't
like it. That's no problem. You haven't lived till you've
seen me on magic mushrooms. Those many, many ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: What is that slime trail, oooo.
Audience: I will buy that video.
Ross: You know, if you ever ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah, I bet.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And you'd give it to the news. All right. By the
way, are you having a lot of fun? You look different.
You look like you're much more relaxed and enjoying
yourself. I'm glad. Good, good. You deserve that.
Good. Here's the thing. Well that can be very useful.
When we do our weeklong seminar, as we do
something called drug of choice, John Lavow, who's
Richard Bandler's training partner ... Has anyone ever
trained with John? Yeah. Is he awesome or what?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: John is incredible and he just keeps getting
better and better.
Audience: Like Doritos.
Ross: Yeah, like Doritos. Anyway, John does this
thing called drug of choice where if you've ever had
any drug experience, you can recreate it. Now
wouldn't it be great if you could smoke imaginary
marijuana or have imaginary LSD, imaginary ecstasy. I
mean, you wouldn't have to go out and score with a
dealer, right? You know? What are the cops going to
do? They pull you over, go, " All right. Get out of the
car. You're under arrest for using your brain.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Blow into this machine. Zero. It doesn't make
any sense. Well, look. I'm here to tell you that you've
been mistaken in what you believe about those
chemical experiences and here's what I mean. It's not
the chemical that gives you the experience. And
you're thinking, "Wait a minute. It sure is because I
bought a lot of them.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: No, no. It's not the chemical that gives you the
experience, it's your brain and body's reaction to the
chemical. Now let me give you an example of this. I'm
going to teach you a little something. I'm not a
particularly great artist, but the way it works is there
are receptor sites in the brain. Okay? So, if the
receptor site looks like this, imagine a jigsaw puzzle.
Okay? There are receptor molecules in the brain. And
that means the only drug that can fit in has to
chemically sort of look like this. Okay? So, what
happens is it's like when your brain has that response
its because the, the -drug fits in with the receptor
that's naturally there. Do you understand? Do you
understand?
John: Yes
Ross: And then the brain has a response. Well, what
does that imply? It implies that somewhere in your
brain or body there's a n atural version of that drug
anyway. Otherwise the receptor site would never be
there and the drug would have no effect. Do you
understand that?
John: Yes.
Ross: Okay. So if that's the case, that means your
brain already has all that stuff running around in the
first place. The reason why people take drugs is they
want the state and they don't know how to get to the
natural response in their brain. That means that you
169
actually have the ability to generate any set of
responses in there that you want to. Thin k about that.
That means that you can generate a million different
experiences for people to share with you. Right?
John: Right.
Ross: Exactly right. And with that realization what
would it be like if you closed your eyes for a second
and allowed that realization that you can generate
millions of experiences to share with people? That in
there you can learn to feel anything you want to, you
can build new feelings. Cause the interesting thing
about great nude feelings is to find a person to share
them with. Because if you were to go back, all the way
back, to the first time you began to ever use your
brain and you took this ability with you to generate
new thoughts, new feelings, new experiences, to
begin to pay attention. If you were to remember the
best ~ if you were to remember the best time that ever
happened and remember what that felt like, you could
begin to understand that you can track feelings in
your body. You can pay attention to where a feeling
starts, what direction it goes, and from doing that, if
you were to go back and read the incredible
connection pattern and as you read it, imagine that
you could feel what that would feel like from right in
there. Then you could use that feeling to guide your
words. There's a story called HANSEL AND GRETEL
where Hansel and Gretel didn't want to get lost in
forest, so they left a trail of bread crumbs that they
could follow back. What if these feelings in here were
that trail that you could use to lead people to share an
experience with you? And the method you used were
the words and the tools that we gave you? That
would be interesting wouldn't it? So, what I want you
to begin to realize is what you thought was a liability
and what can be a liability, given the social norms, we
have to watch those things, actually it's Just an ability
you haven't been using properly. Because your brain
has the ability to generate a zillion different states to
have all sorts of different feeling and experiences. You
can experience a lot of things; it's just up until now
you only had one way to do it. But what I want you to
know is, it's always been your brain doing it all along
anyway. Okay? Now, what else are you having a
difficulty with?
John: Just the communicating.
Ross: Okay. Well, communication is not a thing. This
is a thing. Okay. You hold it in your hand, you know?
John: Right
Ross: And you can't hold it in your hand while you
talk. Communication is a process. All right? And you
can learn to do it more effectively. So, of the tools that
we've reviewed so far ...
John: This and tools that, there, they, you know,
expanded my vocabulary.
Ross: Right.
John: It's good. It's definitely good.
Ross: Well, let me, let me explain something to you
then. This, yes it is good and let me tell something.
Let's use an analogy. Let's say you've never been able
to walk in your entire life. You've always lived in a
wheelchair. All of a sudden one day some mad man
comes along or something happens, you get up out of
the chair. All of a sudden you have a whole new set
of things to deal with. You have to learn how to, you
know, tie your shoes, you may have to learn how to
walk uphill, all of a sudden you could get lost
wondering around a neighborhood you've never been
before, but you're still better off than you were before.
So this, this, the distinction between a new direction
that you're efforting towards and having a problem, I
think what you're doing is, actually you're, you're
experiencing some growth and that's a good thing.
Okay? That's all I want to tell you, I mean, is there any
part of that has to do with clarity where you're not
understanding what's being presented? That's what I
want to know about.
Cause as you learn to do something, I mean, when,
anyone here play a musical instrument? When you
first learned to play, did you feel like a little klutzy, like
you didn't know what you were doing?
Audience: Uh huh.
Ross: Okay, but now, you, you can do it with, with
ease. Do you drive?
John: Yes.
Ross: Could they, they didn't take your license away?
No?
John: No they didn't.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: All right. Hold on sheriff. This man's insured
with Eastwood. Do do do do. I don't know if they
have those ads out here. Anyway. Well when I first
learned to drive I had to think of everything, I mean, I
had to think, "Oh my god. What do I _____ ?" Now
I'm just, you know. You don't have to think about it.
These tools will be become natural the more you
practice. All right? All right, have a seat. I'm done with
you.
170
Audience: Applause
Ross: Oh, oh. See. Now I wasn't paying attention.
Look what I did. that's all right.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Sorry about that.
Audience: Laughter
?: It's that sensory acuity.
Ross: Ah, shut up.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: All right. Now let me go through some more of,
few more basic pieces of the course. Okay? This is
important. By the way, I meant what I said to him.
And those of you who ...
BREAK IN TAPE
Audience: What are you going to teach ...
Ross: We'll do that later. We'll do that later. We're on.
All right. I just want to go through some trance
words. Trance words are words that tend to evoke an
altered state of consciousness. Now, it's not quite like
open sesame and the doors of the cave open, but
they do tend to as part of a train of suggestions
evoke an altered state. We'll just go through a few of
them. My favorite one is imagine. What is imagine
do? Imagine evokes that part of the mind that does
work on a rational basis. And I will frequently say as
I'm offering a chain of suggestions, I will frequently
use this phrase; it's one o f my most used phrases.
Reach for the sky but no.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: My, one of my most frequently used phrases is,
...
Mark: This is so ...
Ross: Is ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Is I don't know if you can imagine this as I
describe it. So I don't know if you can imagine this as
I describe it. What is the command?
Audience: Imagine, imagine as I describe it.
Ross: The command is imagine this as I describe it.
Now, do you have to say that in order for her to
imagine it? No, but why take, I, I really want to make
sure she does. So I'll say, "I don't know if you can
imagine this as I describe it.” The great thing about
this word is it tends to turn on and energize that, that
part of her mind that, that deals fantasies and that,
that sort of thing. Mysteriously. That's another
favorite trance word. What does it mean when
something happens mysteriously? What part of the
mind is being evoked or engaged when something
happens mysteriously?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: What's that?
Audience: Wonder, curiosity.
Ross: It's, it's that, yeah, the imagination. ”So notice
what it's like as your mind mysteriously begins to
think in a new direction.” Good morning
Brother Kathleen. What? You can come sit up here if
you want to. No? Another one I like. Instantaneously.
What does it mean when something happens
instantaneously? "Notice what it's like as your mind
instantaneously puts a picture of you and I being
together in a very special way, right there in that
place.” What does it mean when something happens
instantaneously? When something happens
instantaneously, do you have conscious control over
it?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: No, it's just happening. Okay? Another trance
word is suppose. ”Suppose you were to master these
skills of speed seduction so naturally and easily that
you look back on this weekend as having been the
best decision you ever made, wasn't it?" What is
supposed do? Suppose is really a command to get out
of your rational mind and get into the part of your
mind that considers new possibilities, new directions.
Picture. Well picture is just like imagine. ”I don't know
if you can picture the two of us together - fucking,
having an amazing time.” Boy, I better not go into
that.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: There's a book you should g et called
PROVOCATIVE THERAPY by Frank Farrelly. I"
repeat the title three times. PROVOCATIVE
THERAPY by Frank Farrelly. ”Can you spell
Farrelly?" Yes I can. I believe it's spelled
F-A-R-RE-L-L-Y. PROVOCATIVE THERAPY, last time
I'll say it, by Frank Farrelly. F-A-R-R-E-L-L-Y. Where
Farrelly found if he provoked and shocked his clients,
he got a lot better change than if he was like real
sweet and nice to them.
Brother Orion: Bandler
Ross: Yeah. Bandler, Bandler especially I think
171
modeled it.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Sometimes you can use shock on a woman if
she's resistant. I have done this before. I don't
recommend it for beginners. Please don't do this until
you've really gotten your feet wet. But I've looked at a
woman who was giving me trouble and said, "It's time
you and I started fucking (pause) around with the
idea ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "of your realizing that it's not about you making
me wrong or me making you wrong. But it's about two
people sharing something, that we each really want to
feel this. Don't you?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: nose of you at home when I said "feel this" I
grabbed my crotch area. Shock can be a way to get
through to people. There's some of us who are stuck
with that method and need to learn some flexibility. By
the s ay, she, this tends to be the meth, method of
confrontational training. It was like _____ or the
forum. They want to shock you. You know? It's the
only way they know how to teach you, "You're a
fucking asshole. What are you here ...” You know?
Now, I can be confrontational sometimes, and
sometimes it's useful. But if it's the only thing you
know how to do, you're stuck. Realize. The, the, these
are sort of the, the presuppositions of awareness, but
they also are trance words. Realize. What does it
mean to realize something? I suddenly, to suddenly
realize something. Does that mean it's something that
you worked out consciously?
Audience: No.
Ross: No. Yessir.
Mark: The nice thing about realize also ...
Ross: Yeah.
Mark: that it's a phonetic ambiguity. One thing that I
do is I point to my eyes and go "real eyes.”
Ross: Oh, by the way, I heard a good one, man. They
do, they have in Los Angeles, they have radio ads for
the laser eye surgery. Okay? And they, and, and, and
they said "the so-and-so clinic, remember, come to the
so-and-so clinic for people who special-eyes ...
?: Uh, got it.
Ross: And they did it very subtly. But they talked
about having special eyes. I'm going, "Whoa. That's a
real good one.” We did mysterious. Oh, here's one.
Convince yourself What does it mean to convince
yourself? What does it mean to convince yourself?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Go inside and change your own mind. Find
yourself This is a really good one. I use this all the
time. What does it mean to find yourself? "It's not
important, " there's negation, "that you find yourself
thinking about me in a completely new direction. If I
were to you it's not important that you find yourself
thinking about me in a completely new direction. If I
were to say to you ...” What is "If I were to say to
you?"
Audience: Weasel phrase.
Ross: Weasel phrase. What what is the purpose of, of
a weasel phrase? It sets up all the commands you're
gonna, you're gonna give. Are you getting this
Amos?
Amos: Yes.
Ross: Okay. We're going to bring you up later and
pick on you.
Amos: _____ .
Ross: Huh?
Amos: I said no problem.
Ross: Okay, good.
?: Weasel phrases are also softeners.
Ross: Yes. Softeners are anything you introduce or
use that makes the language you use acceptable. A
softener would be like, "You know, I know this may
sound a little strange" or "I hope you don't mind our
discussing this. It's very important that when I
understand someone that I find out what's really
important to them.” Okay? In a sense, with these
things what you're doing is you're stepping back from
it and making it more acceptable than going straight
up and saying, "Find me fascinating. Convince
yourself right now.” You know? Now, I know there's
some people out there in the NLP community who
teach that kind of thing, but let me suggest, that
works in the seminar room but not in the real world. If
you go up to someone in the real world and go, "The
more you listen to what I say, the more it will cause
you to find everything I say utterly and completely
true.” If you do that in the real world, what's going to
happen?
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Now, if you do that in the seminar room and,
with a bunch of cooperative zombies, they're going to
172
jump up and down and go, "Yea.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? But, but, you know, that, it doesn't work
in the real world. So, watch, yeah, that's right. So, if
someone's teach you, you know, some language
pattern mastery, you got to ask yourself, "Wait a
minute. So that really going to work outside the
seminar room?" And I hope you're applying that to
what I'm teaching you, too. I invite that kind of
mindset. I invite skepticism; as long as it's presented
non-rudely, you know, within some rules of decorum.
So you want to be able to ask yourself, "Hey, you
know, is thing going to work outside the seminar
room, Ross?" Yes. Greg.
Greg: Can you do softener again. ”I hope you don't
mind us talking about ...”
Ross: "You know, I hope you don't mind us
discussing this but it's really important when I meet
someone and, and I understand them, to find out
what's important to them.” Or you can say something
like, "You know, I hope you find this line of
questioning acceptable and respectable because I do
want to respect you as I learn about your cause it's
important when I meet someone who I like to learn
what's important to them. And I will equally share
with you what's important to me.” So, in a sense,
when you do this process of persuasion, one of the
things that you want to do, seduction, persuasion of
any kind, what you want to do is to pace their
ongoing reality and not jar it. Now, there's sometimes
when jaming their ongoing reality, as in shocking
them, is useful. Okay? There are times when you
_____ , when you want to interrupt the reality. When
you do a pick-up and she's walking along and doesn't
even know you exist, what's your state of mind
towards you?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Neutral. Okay? She doesn't even know you're
there. What you want to rapidly do is move her out of
that state. But, still, you don't want to jar her. If you
do jar her, you want to jar her with humor. That's why
when I walk up to that woman and I act gay, "Excuse
me, princess ...” I could jar her by walking up with an
axe. Right? And going ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Ted Bundy rules.” Okay?
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Would, it would, I'm serious. Would that break
her state?
Audience: Oh yeah.
Ross: I mean, remember the formula: break her state,
focus her attention on you, take control of her internal
representations. Okay, that's the pick-up formula. But
look, look. I could do that by walking up and, and,
and with my dick out going, "(panting) Hi there. Doc
say I need to get my inhibitions out.”
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: All right? I had a guy write me ... Listen. I had a
guy write me. He says, "Ross, you know, I've read
your books and stuff.” And he says, "I feel like a
coward cause I was on the subway and I really
wanted to show my dick to this girl, but I just couldn't
get my confidence up. Should I have shown her my
dick?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I swear. We get freak mail, man. We get some
very sick mail. We, I have a, I have, I'm very cog,
cognizant of my security. I have a, a little file where
I'm kind of like keeping track of the potential hazards.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: To give them to, to Brother Pelone. Hang on
just one second. So, so, he says, I wrote him back and
I said, "You're a very ill young man. You need serious
therapy. Under no circumstances are you to show
your dick to any woman unless it's behind closed
doors and she asks to see it. Or she is a licensed
medical professional.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? "And we're taking you off our mailing
list. I want no further responsibility ...” We kick
people off our mailing list. I mean, if we feel that, that,
you know, we ... Yes, question.
Audience: Yeah. I just wanted to break her states ...
Ross: Focus her attention on you. Well obviously
you don't want her attention focused on someone
else. Focus it on you, and begin to take control of her
internal representations. By internal representations I
mean how she pictures things, what she says to
herself and what feelings she's going to have in her
body. That's very simple stuff. Good question. 'thank
you. All right? Ah, let's see. What other trance words
are good? Wonder. I like the word wonder. Brother
Coby has this thing where he says to a woman, "So
let me ask you something. What would a guy have to
do to convince your wondrous self to have a cup of
coffee with him?" Okay? Wonder, wondrous. What
does it mean to wonder? When you wonder, are you
173
using your rational thought process? Remember,
picture it like this. Remember the other day we had the
Brother ... There he is. Look at me a minute. Was it
this hand? Okay? You want to consider people like
this. Consider this about moving energy around.
Yates: This is the end of Side 15 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
174
Tape 8 – Side 2
Yates: Welcome to Side 16 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: You want to consider people like this, Consider
this about moving energy around. I know those of
you with a scientific mindset will go what point of the
electromagnetic spectrum is that energy on? I don't
know. Okay? You want to move energy from one part
of her mind to another. So this is point, the critical
part of her mind, the part that's analytical and has all
the critical stuff in it. Like, "Well, he's got to have a
certain look, he's too old.” You want to take energy
from that and move more and more of that energy into
this part, the part that imagines, daydreams,
fantasizes, where anything can be tried out, where
anything can be tried on. Is there a possible pattern
here to be spun? Maybe. Some are listening and some
are really listening, and some are really not listening at
all. Okay? You want to, everything we're showing you
is a way of moving energy from one part of her mind
to another part. Now here's the really cool thing. This
part of her mind may not be very active. She may not
really know how to use it. you may be the very first
person to come along and really show her some
amazing tools to do that with. You're waking her up.
You're sort of like, anyone know the story of Helen
Keller and Anne Sullivan, THE MIRACLE WORKER?
Anne Sullivan taught Helen Keller, who is deaf, dumb
and blind, how to perceive the world. She gradually
put energy into that part of Helen's mind that could
perceive. That's sort of what you're doing, but some
of the women, you know, you're like THE MIRACLE
WORKER, waking this part up. ”Hallelujah. I can
see.” A nude possibility, moving in a powerful new
direction. Okay? I'm serious about this. It's an amazing
tool.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Right? That's right.
?: Wow.
Ross: Okay? So, those are trance words, those are
just some, some of the smaller pieces. How're we
doing? Anyone need a break? We doing okay? We'll
go for another like 15 minutes before we take a break.
What I want to do now is, Mr. Paul?
Mark: _____ started riots.
Ross: What's that?
Mark: Chopin started riots.
Ross: Did he really start riots? Are you kidding? Why
did he start riots?
Mark: Because he created some powerful emotional
music and he did it in a time of political upheaval. So
when he _____ , for example, it started riots and they
banned it. they, they ran him out of the country.
Ross: Wow.
Mark: Okay. Mozart had women throwing underwear
at him. I mean, that ...
Ross: He's, he was ...
Mark: _____ .
Ross: The underwear in those days is pretty big.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You'd have some muscular guy picking that shit
up. I just want to say ...
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: This is such a simple understanding doesn't
mean . Okay? If you pay attention to where something
is, it gives you the choice to move it somewhere else.
If you're not paying attention to where it is, you can't
move it, you can't do anything with it except _____ .
All right? Being able to pay attention to where
something is gives you the flexibility and the ability to
move it somewhere else. If you're not paying attention
to where it is in the first place, the only thing you can
do potentially is clash with it. so that's why doing that
exercise is important; so you can learn to pay
attention. See some of the useful questions to ask
yourself when you're doing patterning is to ask
yourself where is she now? To ask where to I want
her to go? In other words, the average frustrated
chump asks questions about where he physically
wants to take a woman. ”Should I take her to the
movies, should I take her to, should I take her to an
expensive restaurant, should I get my car washed?"
You want to ask questions where's her mind and
where do I want to take it? What are the series of
states I want her to experience with me? You look
confused are you confused?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: And what specifically is confusing you.
Audience: its such a broad question - where is she
Ross: Mentally, where is she? Is she neutral towards
me? Is she excited about me? Okay? Here's the thing,
you go, I want you guys to understand. Picture this.
175
Let's use this metaphor. Let's talk metaphor for a
minute. And I know what he met her for. Look up
here. I don't want any writing down. Okay. Look.
Let's, let's speak metaphorically. Let's say that she's a
car, okay? And you want her to drive the car into
your garage. That's sort of an opposite metaphor, but
let's say that's what it is, okay? Okay. Here's the car.
Let's say she's already highly attracted to you, she's
highly attracted to you, she's ready for a man in her
life, she's been alone for a long time and she really
wants to be with a man tonight. Okay? How mu ch
patterning do you have to do?
Audience: Very little.
Ross: Very little. Okay? Now let's say you're not her
type. Okay? She's just not physically attracted to the
way you look. And let's say she's kind of just a little
bit gun-shy. You're going to have to some more work.
Okay? So, it's important to be able to assess where
the person's at. Now. So, if she starts out, ideally
she's going to be highly attracted to you right off the
bat, but that rarely happens. So let's say she's neutral.
Her state of mind towards you is neutral. She doesn't
hate you, she doesn't love you. If you're lying on
ground on fire and she had a bucket of water, she'd
pour it on you. You know? She may not check on
your condition, but you go, "Yeah.” Instead of
whacking you with the bucket or going and getting
some lighter fluid ... Okay, so she's neutral. What's a
good state, realistically, what's a good state to move
her from, from being neutral, do you want to move, do
you think it, you can move her to absolute slobbering
lust feeling like you are the last piece of hot dog in the
world?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Yeah. Curiosity, intrigue, comfort ...
Audience: Loveliness
Ross: Now what happens if that's as far as it goes? If
the only state she ever experiences with you are
curiosity and casual comfort, where do you think this
is going to go?
Audience: Wrong, wrong, wrong. friends.
Ross: Let's be friends. Okay? Now the problem with
the old dating game that you used to do before you
walked in the door on Friday is the things that you
would have to do to get her out of this were all
guesswork. You're frantically trying to push the
button in the 747 that's crashing. You're in the control
panel going, "What does this button do?"
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Do I put on my parachute or do I try and get
the plane to fly?" You know? "The control inputs are
not working. What is this pedal for? What does 'Do
Not Push' mean?" You know? That's what you're
trying to do cause you have no idea. Do I, so, but
when you learn to use language, when you, first of all,
learn to pay attention to see where a person's at and
then you begin to think what states do I want them to
go through and you begin to move their states in a
deliberate way, then you begin to have a lot more
power and choice. So, if we want to create curiosity,
casual comfort, that's good. We can do that with our
opening line. You know, a good way to do that is say,
"Excuse me. Forgive the interruption. I just want to
tell you I think you're absolutely breathtaking. My
name is so-and-so.” You know? And then to create
curiosity and intrigue, a great line is to say is, "I have
an intuition about you.” Now, when you say, "I have
an intuition about you, " what does that do? Curiosity
and intrigue. She may have a little skepticism like
"Okay, tell me, buddy. Show me what it is.” Okay.
Now you can joke around. You can go, "My intuition
is that if I invited you to sit down and analyze your
handwriting and tell you secrets about yourself your
best friends don't know, you'd be smart enough and
open enough to accept that invitation right now.”
Okay? You get the kind of languaging? I'm not going
to repeat it word for word because the word for word
is not the point. The point is the attitude you want to
convey. The attitude is really are you smart enough to
do this. You're not really saying, "I think you're, I
believe you're smart enough.” You're really saying,
"Are you smart enough? Let's see if you can take this
opportunity.” Remember what I said. Never ask, never
supplicate. You didn't say, "Would you sit down with
me and let me do your handwriting?" Or, "Do you
want me to do your handwriting?" You said, "You
know, I have an intuition about you. My intuition is
you're smart enough and adventurous enough that if I
offered to sit down and analyze your handwriting and
tell you secrets about yourself your best friends don't
know you'd jump at the opportunity right now.”
You're challenging. Guys, you have no idea of the
power of this. If you use these patterns combined
with challenging and structuring opportunities. Okay.
Here's the wrong way to do it. ”Will you please sit
down and let me do your handwriting?" Or "Would
you like me to do your handwriting?" Never ask,
never supplicate. Instead, structure o pportunities and
offer challenges. It doesn't matter what specific
language is. As long as your attitude is, "Hey, are
176
you sharp enough to take this opportunity?" You
don't say it right out. You don't walk and go, "Are
you sharp enough and smart enough to take
advantage of this great opportunity in front of you?"
Okay? That's when you get the little, the little bird
waved in your face. Every time you structure you
structure your communication, if you can get into the
habit of asking, "How can I structure this so it
captures and leads the imagination and it either/or or
both, structures an opportunity or offers a
challenge?" If you don't structure an opportunity
what you're doing is begging. What you're doing is
saying, "I'm always available.” But if you're like
Mark's moving feast, here you are this movable feast,
is she fast enough to grab something really good off
the banquet table? Then, then my friend, you have
tremendous power. There are a lot of different ways to
structure a challenge; through the way y ou use your
language. I did this thing where I, where I called this
woman. Let me tell you a true story. Cause this is a
part I want to get into. In my original book I talked
about don't leave messages on answering machines.
But technology has changed since 1989. Nowadays a
lot women rely on voice mail and pagers. Yes?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: So, I had met this woman at a, originally, maybe
four months ago and I left a sincere message on her
voice mail. She never called me back. Ran into her
again about maybe six weeks ago, got her number
again, and through talking to her what I elicited from
her is she's very snobbish. She likes to believe she's
smarter than any other woman out there. She doesn't
like women. In her mind, these are her own words,
"Women are shallow and only look at the surface of
things.” She likes to think she
has more depth than that. So when I called her I left a
message along these lines. Now the words are not
important. What's important is the attitude that I
conveyed. I said, "This is so-and-so, blah, blah, blah,
you know. I don't know, I don't know for sure if you're
the kind of woman who can look past the surface and
see something deeper, something worth really getting
to know, but my bet is you are. My wager is you are
the kind of person who can stop and imagine being
together really enjoying each other's company. So if,
and only if, I'm right about you, you can reach for the
phone and call me at ... And I hope this, you know,
and this is all I can do right now cause this is the only
number I have to reach you. And I hope this message
has reached you.” Okay? You get it? She called me
back like boom. Okay? Now, I challenged her. I said,
"Are you, " I didn't say, "Hey, are you the woman
who's good enough to do this?" But that's what I did
say. And I said, "I wager that you are. My bet is that
you are.” Now what does that imply? It implies, "I'm
wagering, I'm, I'm putting my money on you. Now you
want to be a bitch and a shallow person who
disappoints me, that says something bad about you.”
You see what I'm saying? Now when I tried being
sincere with her the first go around, saying, "Hey, I
really enjoyed talking to you. I'd like to spend some
time with you without time pressures or
interruptions.” Never heard back from her. If you can
learn to structure your communication in a way that
offers a challenge or structures an opportunity, I
could do a whole day on this, you will go bananas.
Another way to offer a challenge or structure an
opportunity is to say, "Look, I don't have a lot of
time.” Oh, the other thing I said to her is, I said, "So
even though you realize I'm hard (pause) to get a hold
of and I'm ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "I'm probably too busy to spend too much time
with you, you can still feel enthusiastic about
reaching for the phone.” Okay? I'm telling you. This is
like, this is where your seduction skill will obtain
critical mass like these A-bombs you saw going off.
There's a reason why I kept showing you that. If you
can combine the language patterns with the attitude
of nerve supplicate, just structure opportunities and
offer challenges, boom. Now I'm going to offer a
challenge to you guys. Rather than give you specific
languaging on how to do this, I want you guys to
form your own support group. And the subject matter
of this support group for the next three months is
going to be "What language do you use in every
phase of seduction to structure opportunities and
offer challenges?" We're going to pass around a
sheet, exchange e-mails, that sort of thing, e-mail
addresses. I want you guys to form your own
workshop, your own braintrust and really work on
this. Rather than spoonfeed you, I want you guys to
come to understand that you are the source of your
own change. I'm like the irritant, I'm the little grain of
sand that gets into the clam and forms the pearl.
Okay? I like to view myself, my mom always used to
say, "You're a gadfly.” "So what's a gadfly?" She
said, "It's a fly that buzzes around and irritates people
and bzzzz.” "Thanks mom. I never thought of it that
way, but good.” You can see my mom saying that,
couldn't you Kim? I'm sorry. Yes? Brother Orion.
Brother Orion: I was just going to say, I've been to a
few of the seminars and, and started, you know,
meeting some of the people through you and getting
177
everybody's n ames down. And I've met some of the
coolest people, you know, through following through
on this. But what you can't expect, you can't expect to
get that call that says, "Hey, we're all getting
together" and here it just happens to be a day that
you're, you're going to be free anyway and just go
and do it. You got to take a little bit of effort, you
know, if you, or if you have a success, you want to
just talk to somebody about it, just put your name on
it at random, well it seriously, I mean, if you remember
the person that well. Some of the people I didn't
remember that well at the seminar, but we go together
and we had a great time and I'm still friends with them
from a year ago.
Ross: Yes, Brother Kathleen.
Brother Kathleen: Well, I have question about what,
what you said when you're offering that challenge on
...
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Kathleen: the phone because if somebody did
that to me, I would, and I, I, let's say didn't call them
back.
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Kathleen: And I didn't want to or ...
Ross: Yeah
Brother Kathleen: something. I would, I'd be more
likely to like to want to stay away from that person
because I'd be like they're trying to make me feel bad.
Ross: Well, you know this technology.
Brother Kathleen: And I don't want to feel bad.
Ross: You know this technology. You know this
technology. But most people are going, "Uh oh. I
don't want to feel like an absolute rude bitch. I better
call him.” You know. And most people, I'm, I'm just
saying that with a lot, and it doesn't work with
everyone. Okay? But with a lot of people it does work
to offer that challenge. So you like challenges in a
different way. And understand what I did with her is I
used her own languaging. Because this woman had
talked to me how most women can't look past the
surface and see something deeper. So I just mirrored
back her own language with her. Okay? I'm saying it's
not about the specific language, it's about the
attitude. Yeah?
Audience: It, it, it also, this is going to appear, this is
going to appeal to some p eople and it doesn't appeal
to others. Some people have kind of going towards
strategy and other people having a running away
from ...
Ross: Everyone, almost every woman is motivated by
a challenge. No woman, no woman is, is excited by
supplication. Except sadists who want to kick you
around for that. Okay? If you don't, if you do nothing
else but avoid supplicating, you will do fine. And
when you're going to make a move towards a woman,
there's an exercise you can do. If you imagine a circle
in front of you, everyone do this. Imagine a circle in
front you, like maybe three feet in front of you. I want
you to imagine yourself inside that circle. Okay? And
I, consider a move you're going to make towards a
woman, like picking up the phone and calling her, and
look at that one and hear that one doing that
particular move you're considering. And reach out
your arm, literally physically reach out your arm and
just touch a fingertip on that, and that you in the
circle and feel its energy and say, "Is this coming from
an energy of supplication or energy of challenge and
structuring an opportunity?" Okay? If it's coming
from an energy of supplication, you know not to do it.
If you do nothing, that's better than doing what's in
there. You understand? Sometimes I'll just do nothing.
If I can't think of something to do, circle's gone, if I
can't think of something to do other than
supplicating, I'll do nothing until my mind comes up
with a better alternative. You understand? If you, if
you're in the woods and the only thing you learn from
someone is what, where all the poison things are that
you shouldn't eat, then you're home free cause all you
have to do is don't eat those, eat anything else. Okay?
Stay away from supplication and you'll do, I'm telling
you. If you combine that, did you have a good night
last night?
?: Oh, I had some fun.
Ross: You had some fun. Okay. Yeah.
?- I had a kick-ass night.
Ross: He had a kick-ass night. We, we don't want to
get into it but you had a kick-ass night? Were you
supplicating?
?- You think I'm crazy?
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Were you running around with a black cape?
?- Yes I was.
Ross: Yes sir.
Audience: You mentioned safety.
Ross: What?
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Audience: You mentioned safety and curiosity ...
Ross: Ah ...
Audience: Casual comfort
Ross: Casual, no I said casual comfort and enjoyment.
Audience: Okay.
Ross: But safety goes along with comfort. Yes sir.
Audience: You had mentioned in getting what
language do you use ...
Ross: What language, I want you to explore. What
languaging can you use in every phase of seduction
from initially going up and meeting her to closing the
deal, to if you get a number calling her and getting her
to call you back that reflects structuring an
opportunity or offering a challenge? You can create
games, create a quiz game. Okay? Where you go, "All
right. Here is a response. Is it structuring an
opportunity or offering a challenge or is supplicating,
errr" Come up with a creative ways to drill among
yourselves for this. I do not want to be the person
responsible for your learning. Yes.
Audience: Explain supplicating if you would.
Ross: Supplicate means to, to entreat, to make
earnest, please. If you're the king and the king can
pardon you for a crime, you supplicate the king for his
pardon. Yes.
Audience: There was a couple of times last night
when I was running patterns and I noticed myself
slipping into that old mode of ...
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: Ask permission.
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: I'd just instantly stop it and turn it into a
challenge ...
Ross: Right.
Audience: The result on their face
Ross: Right.
Audience: was incredible. Ross: Right. Now, here's
the real key. Guys, here's the tricky part. This is the
tightrope. Okay? The key is this. Can you start with
the set of skills that you're not quite yet good at and
present that skillset without feeling the need to
supplicate with it? Just because, just because you're
not completely polished with what you're doing does
not mean that what you're doing has no value. I'll say
it again. Just because you're not, I don't want writing,
this is for you to understand and incorporate. Just
because the skillset you have is not yet perfected
doesn't mean that what you're offering, however
imperfect, isn't of extreme value anyway. Even if you
do these patterns n ot quite right and you flub it up,
you're still going to be creating states of mind and
feelings for her that no other guy can. So the
challenge is can you walk into a situation where
you're not quite sure if it's going to work and still do it
without being supplicating. Without going, "Please, I
hope this pattern works. Tell me I'm good at speed
seduction. Oh goddess, oh goddess.” I guarantee
you that will fuck it up. Okay? If instead you go,
"Let's have some fun, see what I can do, see how she
responds.” If your mindset is not "I've got to get her"
but "Hey, let's see what happens.” More progress has
been made in human existence through the mindset of
"Let's see what happens" than has been made
through "Oh my god, I've got to do it.” Let's see if
you can join the "Let's See What Happens Club.”
Write that, that one you can write down. The "Let's
See What Happens Club.” I hereby appoint everyone
members in good standing of the "Let's See What
Happens Club.” And the dues for staying in the
"Let's See What Happens Club" is at least once a day
you've got to as yourself, "Let's see what happens"
and you go see what happens. And then you share it
with someone who's also interested in this
technology. Okay? Cause the rest of the people in the
world are in the "Oh my god, I've got to make it
happen" club or "What the fuck just happened" club.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Or "I wish it hadn't have happened" club.
You're going to be in the "Let's See What Happened
Club.”
?: _____ .
Ross: That is a compliment of which I am not worthy,
but thank you. Thank you. That's a great compliment.
I'm not worthy but thank you.
Audience: What were the compliments?
Ross: Doesn't matter. Anyway, so, don't we have
something we have to do now? Okay. Are you going
to let me know when we have to do that?
Ross: Okay, let's do it. So how do we do it?
?: They'll walk in
Ross: Well, tell them to walk in.
?: I'm not ready yet.
Ross: Okay. You're not ready. You'll let me know
179
when you're ready. Okay? I'm serious. Let me know.
It's up to you, you're running this show. Okay. So,
does that make sense?
Audience: yes
Ross: When I first started doing speed seduction
there was a period for like two years where I would on
and off supplicate until I learned to stop it. Does
anyone know anything about or d o we have any
former pilots in here? Any military pilots who flew?
Audience: I'm one.
Ross: Urn, fighters? Did you ever fly, did anyone ever
fly anything that got shot at?
Audience: In _____ , I have.
Ross: Oh, you have been in planes that got shot at.
Okay. Well, one of the things they do with fighters is,
modem fighters have equipment looks to see when
radar is being turned on and is scanning them. Now
why would it be useful for someone in a fighter or
bomber to know that radar is sweeping their plane?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Well, it means you could be, you're about to get
shot at, okay? So they have a whole bunch of
systems in new, in, in, in aircraft to, what they can do
is based on the radar that's scanning you, they can
tell you the kind of weapon that's about to shoot at
you; whether it's anti-aircraft missiles, whether it's
guns, etc, etc. Okay? You need to build in an
antisupplication radar set - I'm serious about this -
that tracks whenever that supplicating feeling is
starting. Now women are experts at getting men to
supplicate. Here's some ways women get you to
supplicate. They don't do what they say they're going
to do. They don't call you back. You ever have a
woman say, "Call me at nine o'clock and we'll talk
about going out, " and you call at nine o'clock and
you get her answering machine? Have you ever had a
situation where she says, "Call me at nine o'clock"
and she's there to pick up?
Audience: No, once
Ross: Uh, uh, uh. Now is it, did it, sometimes but for
the most part, gee, if you think that's just coincidence
that she's not there? Chance will you at least 25
percent of the time she's there. So, if she's not there at
least 25 percent of time, guess what? She's fucking
with you. Okay? She wants you to be a supplicant.
Actually she doesn't. She's hoping that you won't.
What?
Audience: What happens when they tell you, well,
when you ask them out and, I know I'm not going to
be doing this anymore but I'm going to be challenging
them, but when you ask them out and they said,
"Well me back on a Wednesday ...”
Ross: They want to see if you'll be their spare tire. But
here's my point.
?: I'm not needing and buying insurance.
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: If nothing else comes up, they're available
to go with you?
Ross: Right. Right. So here's the thing, here's the
thing. You need to build in in your mind a
supplication warning system when ...
Audience: laughter
Ross: I'm serious. Go through, what you do is, you go
through with a piece of paper and write down all the
things that women d o that have triggered that in the
past and you wire, and you can tell your radar watch
for these behaviors and the minute you get the signal,
you step out of that and you move in to being
challenging and structuring an opportunity. Okay?
You need to build in, I have an enunciator that goes,
"Warning, warning, supplicant, supplicating ...” I do. I
have an enunciator. You know what an enunciator is?
Audience: Warning
Ross: You military people, what is an enunciator?
What's the job of an enunciator?
Mark?: It delivers a specific warning that's caused by
a specific cue.
Ross: Right.
Mark?: So, if it says for example, oil pressure low,
number two engine out, eject, eject.
Audience: It's the rocking robot.
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: Danger, danger.
Ross: Yes sir.
Audience: _____ the statement pay attention to
yourself.
Ross: That's a good one, too. That's a good one, too.
But I'll have one that goes ...
Audience: _____ .
Ross: Yeah, of course.
Audience: Laughter
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Mark: You might want to consider another one that
says stop paying attention to yourself _____ .
Ross: And pay attention to externally. That's another
good one that you need. Okay? Warning, warning. I'm
telling you. If you can move out of the energy of
supplicating and into the energy of challenging and
structuring opportunities, then I guarantee you, I
guarantee you, that even if you flub the patterns the
patterns will still have a lot of power. I would rather
have someone do a pattern half way right with the
right energy than do a pattern crystal perfect with the
wrong energy.
Mark: If you get half way through the pattern with the
right energy and _____ , she will correct you and she
will try to help you _____ .
Ross: Yes sir. Brother. Brother Kim? That's distracting
(pause) me.
?: Just an example, the last two days I've had
phenomenal success and I haven't been able to
remember any of the patterns. I'd be like getting into
about two sentences and I'd just start to have to go
impromptu and it was just using anchors, using
challenges. I found challenges would just light them
up. I'd start to go into, "Well could I ...” then I'd go,
"Wait a minute, that's supplicating.” I'd go, "You
know, well, what would it take for you ...” or I'd go, "I
guess we can't get together tonight.” And all of a
sudden they'd go, "Oh yeah we can.” And it was just
interesting to see them go from a point of, "well, " to
_____ , "I'm going to make sure this is going to
happen.”
Ross: You missed some great stuff.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Well, I'm serious.
Audience: I know. I'm serious, too.
Ross: We'll give you tapes.
Audience: Okay.
Ross: Okay? Yessir.
Audience: Okay. A lot of times when you maybe
calling a woman and she'll say "I'm on the other line,
can you call me back?" How do you know if she's
bullshitting you or not or if she's actually on the other
line? Cause she's been trying to get you to
supplicating or she could be actually wanting to have
you ...
Ross: He's got an answer.
Audience: Okay.
Mark: Okay, I tell her, "I understand. I don't have a lot
of time right now. If you can get right back to me at
this number ...”
Audience: And I call her again, once and a while I get
her. But she has it set up so that she's very
unavailable.
Mark: Okay, so what is the message? Okay, you hear
all this communicating and everything you say, think,
do is always a message, right? Now if in this day and
age she is not capable of acquiring a machine for her
phone, she's not terribly interested in incoming
messages. Right?
Audience: Right.
Mark: But she is interested in communicating with
you when she wants to with her message. Correct?
Audience: Right.
Mark: Is that the sort of person you want to be
associated with?
Audience: No.
Ross: Part of being a non-supplicant is knowing when
to go "I'm booting this ball.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Punt. Yes.
Brother Orion: There's just one last thing on this
subject ...
Ross: Yes, one last thing.
Brother Orion: This is just the reality of the situation.
There's so much of this kind of thing going on and
there's various stra tegies for dealing with it. But the
real way to deal with it, you know, if you're not, if
you're not in a relationship and you're looking to hook
up with someone is to meet a lot of people so that you
can play the numbers game and win it.
Ross: Right.
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Let's move on from this.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Let's move on from this. But I did want to
include that little section because it's important. I
want to talk a little bit about, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, I
want to talk a little bit about context. I know some of
you are still concerned about that and I promised I'd
cover it. And again, these are not the only
distinctions, these are just the ones that are occurring
to my mind right now as I'm teaching you in front of
181
the room and you're listening. Really listening. That's
right. Cause hypnosis requires you say the right
words or does it? It's called the breath induction. It's a
weird thing, I mean, think about it. If by your
communication you can control as intimate as in
private, and as private as how something is breathing,
that's pretty, that's pretty cool, isn't it? Oh, we'll go to
lunch in about 15 minutes. Okay? Let's talk about the
context of what you do in person versus what you do
over the phone. Okay? Now, basically you can do
everything in both contexts. But on the phone a very
good pattern to start out with, I really like, when I call
someone on the phone and Brother Orion can confirm
this, a great pattern to start out with on the phone is
the Discovery Channel pattern.
Brother Orion: You can jump right into it. You get to
say, "How're you doing. What are you doing today?"
Ross: Jump right into it. Cause it's typical for people
who call on the phone to talk to what they saw on TV.
From the Discovery Channel you can move on to
incredible connection. And from incredible
connection you can move on to the blowjob pattern.
Some other things you can do on the phone are jokes
and poems. They're really good ways to start out. I
want to give you guys this road map. Okay? And I
you guys, the other thing I want you guys to discuss
among yourselves is transitioning from one pattern to
the next. I've shown you that but I want you guys to
make that a sub-topic of what you discuss amongst
yourselves. Okay? Yes.
Audience: Okay. There can be, you can't see the
person, so there could be distraction at her end.
Ross: There could be but she'll let you know that.
Generally speaking there's not. And you can also hear
responses. When you hear, (deep breath), uh, I've
heard moaning on the phone, I've heard ah. When I
read the poems, I've heard oh, ah. Those are good
signs.
Audience: Oh yeah.
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: She's in the kitchen making something and
her mom's coming in ...
Ross: Well, pay attention to that obviously.
Audience: That's n ot a good time to run this?
Ross: Yeah, obviously.
Audience: You have a list of classical poems, like
Browning or ...
Ross: I don't do, we have our own on the list. I'll tell
you how to get on the list in a minute. Yeah.
Audience: Just a little technical note. Make sure your
phone is a good quality phone. I have a phone that
when I talk on and I had to get rid of it cause people
thought I was on a cell phone. I couldn't hear any
distinctions. I went out and I got some phones and
called them up, kind of run there and found out what
it sounded like at the other end when someone talked
on the phone it made a world of difference.
Ross: And by the way, make sure you turn off call
waiting, cause I hate to have, to be distracted by
boop right in the middle of what I'm saying to
somebody. Someone did that to me ...
Brother Orion: It's Star 70
Ross: It's 70 pound. It depends ...
Brother Orion: Star 70.
Ross: In L. A. it's 70 pound. Okay. Now, look at me,
look up here, look up here. The phrase you use, one
phrase you can use to transition from discovery to
incredible connection is "It's just like ...” And a
phrase you can use to transition from incredible
connection to blowjob is "The other interesting thing
...” Okay? In person, in person, in person, there are a
lot of different directions you can go in person. But in
person you can start with incredible connection, you
can go to discovery channel and you can go to
blowjob. This sounds so, to someone who doesn't
know what we're talking about, they go, "What in the
fuck is this?" Just give them this little section of the
tape.
Audience: Ross: Yes.
Audience: one of the patterns over the phone
Ross: Right.
Audience: And then you go meet someone ...
Ross: Okay. Now I'm going to talk about that. Okay?
Let's say you do all this on the phone and you set up
a meeting. The great thing to do at the subsequent
meeting is a pattern we call blammo. Now I'm going to
show you the blammo pattern later this afternoon.
The blammo is like your coup de Gras. Anyone ever
see bullfighting? What do they call that thing where
the, the matador puts the sword in the bull for the
final whatever that stroke is called? That's your ...
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Yeah. Brother Orion loves doing the blammo.
Okay. I'll show you how to do the blammo this
afternoon. The blammo is a massive sexual
182
accelerator. Okay? And you set up the blammo by
talking about how interesting it is that people do
things in their mind in a certain way. I'll show you
how to do that. And also it's always good to read
poetry in person. Poems, poems so on the, so you've
got, you've talked to her on the phone and then you
set up the meeting. Poems, blammo, jokes and quotes.
Remember, another sexual accelerator is quotes. ”I
can't believe it, Debbie. Men are so rude. I was in a
bar and this man walked up to a woman said, 'Can you
imagine me going down on you all night long exactly
the way you like it? Did he really expect her to think
about that and really enjoy those feelings all night,
Debbie?" Okay?
Audience: Where will you _____ .
Ross: You can do the poems in the beginning, you
can do the poems midway. Poems fit in anywhere.
Audience: You said jokes. Well, ...
Mark?: Poems all fit in the same category
Ross: Yeah. They all do the same thing. Yes, yes.
Audience: Between the Discovery Channel and
incredible connection, what are the themes that
connect the two?
Ross: Okay. What is the Discovery Channel about?
It's about how people can, what's the ideal attraction.
And you say, "And as I thought about it, as I
watched the show, I thought, isn't that just like ... the
ideal connection between two people.” Think of the
Discovery Channel pattern. You're talking about.
Okay, the Discovery Channel pattern you talk about
how you ride that roller coaster, you feel excited and
completely safe and you're fascinated? It doesn't
make sense to say to her, "You know, as I thought
about it, I thought, isn't that just like ideal connection
between two people?" And then you go right into
incredible connection. Yes sir.
Audience: When you use the incredible connection
patterns _____ slight variation from phone to in
person ...
Ross: Yes.
Audience:
Ross: Yes, yes. Repetition, yes, you can repeat. With
slight variations you can repeat the same thing. You
can say, "Remember when we talked on the phone
about incredible connections?" Here's how you
repeat something. You say, "Remember when we
talked about x.” And you just repeat x. Talk about the
law of repetition in suggestion in hypnosis if you
would for a minute. Mark: Oh, sure. Ross: Major
Mark.
Major Mark: 'Mere are laws of hypnosis. Okay? Like
all laws, all rules, there are exceptions. You use them
someplace where they're appropriate, other places
they're not appropriate. But where hypnosis really
gains its power is not in trance inductions, initial
suggestions or the responses to those suggestions.
Rather hypnosis gains power through repetition.
Okay? You can do this within a short amount of time
by cycling through the same suggestion over and
over again so that with each repetition it becomes
stronger or more powerfully implanted. It becomes
more native to their thoughts as opposed to another.
You can do it through a different type of repetition
that is spaced over time. For example, when I do
clinical work, I used to do kick-ass nuclear-powered,
single-session hypnosis work. They'd come in, they'd
tell me what they want to work on, I would fix it for
them, I'd show them how to do it themselves, and
send them out the door. Okay? And I was charging 75
bucks a session for this . Okay? I had tons of happy
ex-clients and I was going fucking broke. Okay? So,
this is not my business model. Okay? So, what I
decided to do instead was we only do programs now
where you come in and you talk about what you want
to do, what you want to accomplish and we'll sell you
programs. Almost like a health club. You ever join a
health club, you know, and they never want to tell
you exactly what it costs _____ talk about how good
it's be when you're all buffed up and you can see
through the window all these people who don't need
to be in a health club but they're out there anyway?
You know? So, what we do is we come in, we sign
you up. Our minimum period now is nine weeks.
That's what we consider really a short program and
we sell programs up to a year. Now, in order to
participate in the program, you must come in twice a
week for about an, well forty minutes to an hour and
we'll do trance work with you. Okay? Now people
come in with something a reporting problem which is
what they had on their mind in the first place. But,
let's say somebody comes in and they're a hundred
pounds overweight. Okay? And so they're thinking
weight is what I really need to change in order to
change my life. Well chances are there are many
things that need to change their life . You will never
run out of areas where you can improve in your life.
And so we want to get them hooked on the process
of change. And so we'll do repeated suggestions not
only within a particular session but also repeated
sessions over time. And you get phenomenal results.
In fact, I can still cure people of smoking in a single
183
session, for example. You just take the smoking away
and you give them something better; that we still got
nine weeks left. Where do you want to go? You
know?
Ross: Now, ...
Major Mark: You can ...
Ross: I'm sorry.
Major Mark: There's another way of compounding
through repetition and that is simply compounding
different suggestions. That is within a single session
or single trance induction or in this case a single
conversation, you want to give a series of
suggestions through these embedded commands.
Now, it doesn't really matter that they are different
suggestions. They can even be suggestions heading
in different directions. The unconscious mind doesn't
care, it is happy to do wh atever it is that it thinks it's
supposed to do, which is take this in and make it
permanent. So you can give suggestion number one,
fla, fla, fla, suggestion number two, fla, fla, fla,
suggestion number three. Okay? By the time you get
to three it's also reinforcing one and two. You hit four
and that not only goes in but reinforces one, two and
three at the same time.
Ross: Now the trick is, when you're doing seduction
is to come up with a structure that tricks her or
distracts her conscious mind long enough not to
recognize that you're repeating the same thing over
and over, And the way you do that, if I might now, ...
Major Mark: Uh huh.
Ross: This is exactly where I wanted to go with this.
The advantage about poems is, let's say you write a
poem based on the incredible connection pattern. You
can do the incredible connection pattern and say,
"Debbie, it's just like this poem I wrote.” Or, "It's just
like this poem I read.” You do the poem and it
reinforces every single thing almost word for word
that y ou just said in the pattern but because it's put in
the structure of a poem, she doesn't think, "Oh, this
guy is repeating to me.” You understand? That's the
beauty of it. If you take a slightly different format you
can say almost the same goddamn thing and reinforce
it. And then you can tell a joke based on the same
thing. Now we have poems, so let's say, ... let's say
you want to talk about incredible connection. We
have a poem on the SS list written by Brother Nick,
Brother Nick Fortune. Beautiful poem called YOU
CAN MAKE IT BE. So let's say you do the incredible
connection pattern. You go, "Debbie, it's just like ...”
remember I said those words - it's just like and it's just
like when - will really get you laid? "It's just like this
poem I read on the Internet.
Two eyes across a crowded room, ...
A spark electric in the gloom.
A fleeting glimpse of one with whom
You can truly feel free.
For one long beat the contact held
A time in which you are enspelled.
A time in which two souls can meld
If only this could be.
Then comes a smile to match those eyes
A gentle voice invites your sighs
A voice as soft as butterflies that brush you tenderly.
A voice that flows like liquid gold
And warms your senses in its folds
And gives in your heart to hold
The hope that this could be.
Okay. It's the same bullshit, different delivery vehicle.
Okay? So, here's what you do. You can call her up on
the phone, read her, "Hey Debbie, " quote the poem,
"I heard this most amazing poem, " and then go right
into the connection pattern. You can do the
connection pattern and quote the poem. Do you
understand?
Audience: yes
Ross: It allows you a structure for repetition. And
then you get the same effect as if you were a master
hypnotist and they were coming into your clinic.
Except when they come in your clinic it means
something's slightly different.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay? Are you get, or does it? Are you getting
this?
Audience: Getting the whole, weasel and vinyl seats,
by the way.
Ross: Is ...
Audience: laughter
Ross: Okay. Is it, is the methodology for doing this in
the context starting to become more clear?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Yes.
184
Audience: I've got a question.
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: The examples you gave of the different
patterns to use in ...
Ross: Yeah Audience: in person versus on the phone
Ross: Yeah
Audience: Are those just random examples or is there
a specific reason you chose those?
Ross: They're the ones I, they're ones that tend to
work really well. You could do the, here's the thing,
here's the thing. Let's say I walk up to someone in
person and say, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption.
I just wanted to tell you I think you are absolutely
breathtaking and I wanted to find out what the person
inside was like. My name is Joe Blowjob.” Okay?
Okay. What sense does it make to say, "You know, I
was just watching the most interesting show on the
Discovery Channel.” It only makes sense to keep
talking about her. And they way you keep talking
about her in transition into the incredible connection
pattern is to say, "I have an intuition. I know this is
going to sound a little funny, but I have an intuition
about you. My intuition is when you connect with
someone, someone who you really like, you know that
sense, that click, right there, blah, blah, blah, blah. My
sense is when that all happens you can imagine a time
in the future, say years from now ...” Get it?
Audience: Uh huh.
Ross: And then you say, "It's just like this show I was
watching on the Discovery Channel.” But it doesn't
make logical sense in the context of talking about
what you think about her to immediately go to that.
Do you understand?
Audience: Right. I got you.
Ross: Another context to pay attention is have you
already been in or do you already know her, or is this
the first time talking? And you can use the same
patterns, you just have to use them in different order.
Because, what's your name sir again?
Audience: Jason
Ross: Brother Jason. Doesn't it just make sense if you
already know someone, if you already know someone
and you can s ay, "I have an intuition about you, " but
you have to set it up different. You can't just blurt
out, "Hey, I have an intuition about you" to someone
you've known for three weeks. Or three years. What
you can do is say, "You know what? I was thinking
about the people I know in my life and just all of a
sudden I got this really powerful insight about you.”
So instead of saying intuition say insight and explain
the process that went, you went through beforehand.
Does that make sense to everyone?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Do, logically, do you see the difference
between walking up to someone you've known for a
while and saying, "I have an intuition about you.” It
just doesn't quite fit. Instead you say, "You know, I
was thinking about the people I know in my life and I
just got this amazing insight about you, this
incredible intuition.” You get it? You have to do a
little more setup. So, the only difference between
already knowing her and first time talking is, here's the
irony, if you already know her, you have to do more
of a setup. When you already know her, you need,
you need more setup. If you don't know her, you can
go right into this stuff.
Yates: This is the end of Side 16 of Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
185
Tape 9 – Side 1
Yates: Welcome to Side 17 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: If you don't know her, you can go right into
stuff. Yes sir.
Audience: Have you ever tried using song lyrics ...
Ross: I've tried everything.
Audience: _____ used poetry.
Brother Orion: Ross? You just mentioned poetry. Do
you mind if I read someone a poem?
Ross: Oh, no. Sure. But let's set up the context before
we do it. Come on up.
Brother Orion: Come on up.
Ross: How do you know Lisa? How do you know
Lisa?
Audience: Applause
Ross: Ben, Brother Orion, how do you know her?
Brother Orion: I just met her outside. I told her we
teach hypnosis and seduction.
Ross: Have a seat.
Brother Orion: And that we're teaching guys how to
communicate with women.
Lisa: Can I just stand?
Ross: Have a seat.
Brother Orion: Yeah, have a seat or stand, it's up to
you.
Ross: Have a seat.
Lisa: I'll just ...
Ross: Well, just calm down a minute. Have a seat,
have a seat and relax. You're a smoker, huh?
Lisa: Yeah.
Ross: Okay, now, here's the cool thing. We're going
to have fun. We are not going to embarrass you in an
unhelpful, and this is all going to be fun. What we're
talking about here, I need, I need to give a context and
then we'll turn you loose.
Brother Orion: _____ a lot of time, though.
Ross: I understand. We're going to move very rapidly
and yet very effectively. So here's what we're doing
here. What we're talking about and what we're
teaching this weekend is we're teaching men to
communicate in a way that captures and leads a
woman's imagination. The understanding that we've
been learning together is that men and women don't
think the same. That in order for a woman to feel
romantic about a man, he's got to touch her in a
different place mentally. He's got to open up, not the
part of your mind that thinks about the ordinary,
mundane things you have to get out of the way,
cause you have stuff like that.
Lisa: Right.
Ross: You have to do laundry? Right? Just cause
you're a pretty girl doesn't mean you don't have the
tasks of life. You still, I got to do your laundry. Right?
Lisa: Of course.
Ross: You got to pay your bills.
Lisa: Yep.
Ross: You got to do all that bullshit stuff. You got to
do tasks and you got it out of the way. And the
problem with most men who meet you is they
communicate with you in a way where you think
about them as a task that has to be gotten out of the
way. Okay? And no matter what they do, once you
put them in that part of your mind, as a task that has
to be rid of, there's, they're gone. There's nothing they
can do. They can beg, they can plead, they can
annoy, they can pester, they can give you presents,
but it don't mean jack shit. Right?
Lisa: Uh huh.
Ross: But the understanding I also want to give them,
and, oh by the way, I want you to express what you
really think. If you don't agree, let me know. It's fine. If
you agree let me know. You agree with what I just
said?
Lisa: Yes.
Ross: It's equally true, by the way, how old, young a
lady are you?
Lisa: I'm 22.
Ross: Twenty-two okay. It's equally true and this is
something they didn't know a lot of it until this
weekend, that there's another place inside the mind of
every woman, I don't care if she's young, old, pretty,
plain, there's that place inside where you keep your
most special memories? Yes?
Lisa: Uh huh.
186
Ross: That place inside where you explore new
possibilities, where you feel safe to imagine things, to
explore that place where anything can be tried on or
anything could be possible? The place where you
keep your best memories, where you ponder
fantasies, daydreams, unlimited possibilities. The
kinds of things you do, if no one ever found out, you
wouldn't even want your best friend to know you
longed for. You know that place?
Lisa: Yep.
Ross: When a man can learn to communicate with a
woman in a way that touches her in that place, don't
you think that guy has a different effect on you?
Lisa: Oh, yeah.
Ross: Isn't it different?
Lisa: Definitely.
Ross: And what happens is maybe you go home. I
don't know if you ever do this. You're lying in bed,
you find that place in your mind where you think
about the things you most want to experience and
explore, and it's like suddenly this person is present in
that place. You know what that's like?
Lisa: Uh huh.
Ross: Yeah. Can you feel that something you've
experienced before?
Lisa: Oh yeah.
Ross: Yeah. It's a good thing. So what we're talking
about is one way to do that is through poetry. That if
a guy reads you a poem, he can open that place in
your mind. Make sense?
Lisa: Uh hmmm.
Ross: Okay. So he's going to read a poem to you and
...
Lisa: Well, what am I going to have to do?
Ross: we're just going to want ... Just listen.
Brother Orion: _____ .
Lisa: I don't want to be asked anything.
Ross: Okay, no. We're not going to ask anything.
Brother Orion: Okay. Lisa, I, Lisa, you have just have
the coolest shirt. Is this not just the coolest shirt?
Ross & Audience: Yeah.
Brother Orion: I was telling her she got it at a store
called Rave and I, and I, and I stopped her because I
think it's really cool. I love fabrics like that. I bet it, can
I feel it?
Lisa: Go ahead.
Brother Orion: That feels really nice. And I, and I
think it's amazing how things that have that affect are
sort of your saying, you were comparing it to like, oh,
those posters that glow in the blacklight. They
capture your eye in a certain way or the way like when
you're driving along a country road and the sun, like
when the sun is setting and the sun filters through
the trees. It's like it captures your, your eyesight. It
captures your imagination. And when I read a poem,
that's what I'm trying to evoke. So, as you read it you
can just imagine the kind of imagery that comes to
your mind naturally. Okay.
Have you ever heard a voice that seems to draw you
near;
To feeling a connection, an image growing clear.
The more you see desire, me, I know that special
place,
The person who you've longed for
Now you see it in my face.
And you begin to notice how wondrous it can feel As
warmth inside just glows for us, so lustrous, so real.
A tidal wave comes crashing down, powerful and
foamy
And the tremors of an earthquake ripple up from
deep below me
Like sweet honey nectar flowing from my lips,
A tongue to lap up every drop as quickly as it drips.
The fountain of a fantasy, your eyes begin to close
As the musky scent of passion starts tickling your
nose.
When desire is matched with rhythm, a single distant
drum,
Overpowering sensations invited you can come
Along on a journey and deep inside your mind
Peaceful and secluded, on passion we can dine.
Aloft on the wings of rapture, together spirits soar
Wild, untamed and sensuous just like a lion's roar.
How long ago it seems since the two of us first met
As time is rendered meaningless or timeless better
yet.
187
Seize this opportunity, this day that we have danced
_____ as you sit there, so magically entranced.
Take with you this rose, a red remembrance of this
feeling,
To lead you back here now or whenever is
appealing.
Ross: Like that?
Brother Orion: Thank you.
Ross: Ah, she liked it.
Audience: Cheers and applause.
Brother Orion: How long _____ .
Audience: Applause
Ross: Nice, Paul.
Brother Orion: I just want to talk to you for a second.
Ross: Okay. Outside. Thank you very much.
Lisa: Thank you. Brother Orion: I really appreciate it.
Guys, give her a big round ...
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: Cheers and applause.
Ross: Now, now, wait until she's out of earshot. How
many people think she had a strong, positive
response?
Audience: laughter
Ross: Now notice what he did. He spoke very softly
so she had t o really listen. He spoke slowly so she
could have the responses he was describing, and
what did I do? I set it up so it was okay for her to
respond. What did I talk to her about?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: I talked about how, I paced her ongoing reality.
She's a pretty, young girl, mostly guys she meets,
they're tasks she has to get out of the way. But then I
talk about what it's like to access that different part of
the mind, the part where anything can be tried on. So
essentially I said, "go into that different place in the
mind and from there listen to his poem from there.”
Now, if he can do that in a roomful of horny guys and
get that result, what can you do in private, over the
phone or in person? All right, we're going to go to
lunch. It's now 1: 10, when should we come back?
BREAK IN TAPE
(VOLUME VERY LOW)
Audience: Applause.
?: Before she gets started
Ross: Before she gets started, let me just say a few
words about . When I heard, the first clue I got that
Kim was a woman of extraordinary intelligence, she,
she was terrific. She came to work with me and I was
talking to her and I said, "You know, it's not important
for people to feel connected.” And she said, "I can't
speak in the infinitive.” She named the exact
framework that's called the infinitive meaning ...
Kim: It means like if you to whatever.
Ross: Yeah, it's called the infinitive. She said, "I can't
speak Kim:
Ross: And I went, "Whoa. She's so sharp.”
?: It's mentioned that she's turned on, right?
Ross: Oh, okay.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: _____ for a minute.
Ross: Now there's a challenge _____ . She's on.
Kim: Isn't it? Oh no, it was on me. Okay.
Ross: It's on. Okay. Here's your, here's your marker if
you need to use it. Kim is going to talk to you about
one of the very most important things you can
possibly do which is to learn to use your voice.
Because, you know, if you don't use your voice,
you're going to be up the shit creek without a paddle,
so. Are you ready?
Kim: No, but that's okay. I'm up here, so I guess I
better do my best. Let's see.
Ross: Let's give her a huge hand.
Audience: Applause
Kim: Stay up here for a minute _____ .
Ross: Oh, I see.
Kim: Okay. So.
Ross: Doesn't she look a lot nicer than I do up here?
Audience: Yes.
Kim: I figured if I wore a skirt this short, if you didn't
like what I was saying, you'd be entertained anyway.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: So.
?: Thank you, Kim.
Kim: I know you appreciate the effort, huh?
188
Ross: I'm entertained already.
Kim: So, first let you guys know I am not a
professional speaker, so bear with me. If I'm not loud
enough, just tell me and I'll project better.
?: _____ .
Kim: No, I don't think you want to do, that to happen.
But, and the only reason I'm up here now is cause my
boyfriend told me if I didn't get up here, not to come.
So, I'm here. So ...
Ross: That's called the move-away-from strategy.
Kim: Yeah, it is the move-away-from strategy. So, let's
get started. First thing, how many of you guys here
have seen the movie THE TRUMAN SHOW? Did
anybody here s een it? Do you guys like it?
Audience: Yes
Kim: It's a great, great movie. And it made me think of
a lot of things. First, for the guys who haven't seen it,
let me give you a brief plot synopsis. In the movie
there was this guy Truman. And when he was born he
was adopted by a corporation. And this corporation
put him on a big, huge, gigantic movie set that
doubled for the real world for him. So, he's going
along and he hits about 30. And then he starts
realizing that something's wrong there and that things
are being choreographed around him. And he gets
really curious and starts trying to escape from where
ever he is cause he doesn't know what's going on at
all, so he keeps trying to get out and get out and get
out. And then they have the guy who created this
movie, this show that's on 24 hours a day, starts
taking calls from callers. Now the first caller is this
lady. And she says, "You know. I don't understand
how you had him set for all this time and he didn't
even realize that something's going wrong, that
something's not right about it.” And his response
was, "That people accept the realities that are
presented to them, " which is very true in our world.
And the second caller was an ex-cast member. And
she called in, she was all upset saying, "Well, I can't
believe you're doing this to him. This is horrible. How
can you do this to this guy?" And he listened to her
and he said, "Listen, I think you're more upset that
Truman is willing to, was more happy in his cell than
he is being out there.” And these two things really
made me think, because if you think about it, most of
the people out there do accept all the realities that
presented to them and they are happier being in a cell
than they are going out and exploring new things. But
then you have this percentage of people, such as you
guys here, who are willing to try new possibilities.
And you're willing to let go of the familiar and really
step in to difference realities, and that's very
important. It's like when you were a kid, and when you
were a kid, you're really willing to try on new realities.
One day you're an astronaut, the next day you were a
race car driver ...
Ross: I was always a transvestite, but that's ...
Audience: laughter
Kim: And you were bad. You were bad. But you were
whatever you wanted to be at moment, and as a
kid it was really easy to step into new realities and try
new things. And as an adult people kind of started
stick their little toe in the water and test things, but
they're not willing to step completely into a new
reality and try it on. So, it's something that kids have
that we could all really benefit from. And that movie
really made me start thinking about all that and it
started making me think about you guys. I was like,
"God, wouldn't this be great for Ross' students? All
these new ideas?" So, today we're talking about your
speaking voice. I _____ constrained right now cause
I'm very nervous, but ...
Ross: You're doing fine. Isn't she?
Audience: Yeah, applause.
Ross: Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Kim, Kim, Kim,
Kim, Kim, Kim. You're doing fantastic.
?: I thought you said you weren't a speaker.
Kim: I'm not, but that's okay.
Ross: You're doing great.
Kim: Okay.
Ross: You weren't, but you are now. Keep going.
Kim: Okay. So we're going to talk about your speaking
voice. Okay? And some of you might be wondering
why it's important to have a good speaking voice.
Well, of course, it's a nice thing, but isn't it more
important than what you say, right? But then, okay.
But actually your speaking voice is what first attracts
a person or what keeps them there. Cause people
want to be around someone who's appealing to them.
And if the voice sounds like nails scratching across a
chalkboard, then nobody's want to, going to want to
be around that person. Okay. So, and in Atlanta
where I live there are all these good old boys. All
right? Is anybody here from the south? Oh no. You're
from the south? Where are you from? You're from,
189
yeah, you're from Texas originally. Where are you
from.
Audience: Maryland.
Kim: Where?
Audience: Maryland.
Kim: Maryland?
Audience: It's on the Mason-Dixon Line.
Kim: Oh, god. I'm like that's the south? What are you
talking about?
Ross: That's not the south.
Kim: If you don't talk like this, you ain't from the
south, boy.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Audience: My family's from Louisiana.
Kim: Well, that's the south.
Ross: That's the south.
Kim: Okay. I lived there.
Ross: (Humming DUELING BANJOS)
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: President Clinton over there is from the south,
ain't you Bill?
?: I grew up in the south and I, many times when I was
a child sometimes _____ have intercourse with my
sister.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: _____ , there boy. But if you don't get up to the
level of your mother, you're not getting anywhere
now.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: But, now on with your speaking voice and how
important it is, cause there are all really big old, good
old boys in the south. And then you talk to them, you
go up and you hear, "Howdy, y'all. How y'all doin?"
Ross: Laughter
Kim: And it just takes this big guy and it turns him to
this little wuss right in front of you, you know. And
the women aren't much better sometimes. And there
are people with great voices there, but sometimes,
there's a woman at this bar and she is gorgeous. My
boyfriend told me before we went there, "You're going
to see this girl and she is just beautiful.” And he said,
"But her voice, nobody can stand her because of her
voice.” And you go and she's going, "Woo wee, y'all
good ole, howdy y'a ll" and it's just like to whole bar
sits and cringes when she opens her mouth. Okay.
Ross: I'd be gone by then.
Kim: Sorry about that. But that's why your speaking
voice is important because people do talk about it and
people do notice it. Okay? And now I'm going to refer
to my notes cause I forgot what I'm going to say next.
So ...
Ross: That just means the information you're
presenting is so amazingly valuable that you yourself
at times get overwhelmed by it. I think that's only a
sign to be even more enthused by what she's
presenting. Yes?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: That's all
Kim: Shut up. Okay. So there are many elements to the
speaking voice. There's pitch, pace, tempo, pitch,
tempo, resonance; your breathing and posture are
some things that are very imp ortant to your speaking
voice, believe it or not. I'm sure it doesn't seem like it.
Ross: I have a question. What about volume? That's
important, too, huh?
Kim: Volume's important.
Ross: Did you notice what Brother Ben did when he
was up here? Did he speak really loud like ... he was
like this, quiet so she had ...
Kim: Right
Ross: to really listen.
Kim: Well, volume's important in the sense that you
want to use different volumes for different states you
want to induce. But volume's important in another
way. Each person speaks at a different level. If you're
talking to someone who speaks really quietly, you
don't want to be blasting them away because people
tend to radiate toward people who are more like them.
So if someone speaks pretty quietly you'll want to
pace their loudness. And that's also something we'll
talk about in tempo later because someone who talks
really fast can't really communicate with someone who
talks really slow.
Ross: And this is very important ...
Kim: It's very difficult.
Ross: This is, and this is very important, thank you,
it's a good point. When you do the patterns, I had a
190
student demonstrate for me and the woman said, the
woman said to him, "Slow down. I want to understand
what you're saying.” He was talking so fast that she
couldn't process. So one of the things to understand
about people is they speak at the speed which they
understand.
Kim: Uh huh.
Ross: So, if you're calling someone on the phone and
they talk like this and you're trying to sell them
something ...
Kim: Then you talk like this.
Ross: Exactly.
Kim: Because they're going to understand, people
understand at the pace they speak, like you just said.
Okay?
Ross: Right.
Kim: And I'll give you, you're going to have that for
an exercise later all on your own. We're not going to
do that with me on stage here. It's something you'll do
in the real world out there. Not like it's not the real
world here, but, you know.
Ross: This is kind of ...
Kim: A little different.
Ross: storybook real world.
Kim: It's a little bit storybook. We're all here with the
same purpose. So the first thing we're going to deal
with is we're going to talk about posture, which I'm
leaning down right now. But posture is very important
because air is ammunition that you use to project
your voice into the world. And if you're all hunched
over, then you can't get enough ammunition to
project your voice into the world. So now what I'm
going to do is do a little extreme exercise with
everybody here right now to show exactly how, how
important it is. First I want everybody to try, touch,
try to touch their shoulders together in front of them.
Okay? Yeah, put your stuff down and lean your head
forward. Now, I want you all to say, "I have an
intuition about you.”
Audience: "I have an intuition about you.”
Kim: It's not that effective, is it?
Kim/Ross/Audience: Laughter
Kim: Now, a lot of you guys to a smaller extent are
doing that by leaning your shoulders forward and
leaning forward a little bit and closing off a lot of the
area where you need to get air so that you can project
your voice into the world. Now, we're going to do an
exercise and I'll have you come up because you talked
to me about breathing earlier. Do you want to come
up? Or, he'll, no, you have to have it for breathing.
What am I doing? I'm doing posture. I'm sorry. I keep
skipping ahead. First we'll do posture. I'll do it with
you later. I want, had a guy who wanted to _____
with posture. I don't, can't see him right now. He
wants to do it? Okay, come on up then. Okay. Stand
up though. Okay, you're going to have to stand up. I
might have to get on the stool so I can get above you.
Audience: laughter.
Kim: But, for posture we're going to do a really simple
exercise right now. And if anybody wants any more
help with it later, like any stretches or anything, come
to me afterward, because most of the people aren't
going to need that. But for people who do, come
speak with me. So, what I'm going to want you to do
is this. - get on my knees up here. First of all, stand in
front of me. Okay, Your shoulders are way forward.
There. Okay. Let me get down. First of all, you're
standing like, like this. You notice how far your head
is forward?
Audience: Right.
Kim: And how far your shoulder is forward? So I'm
going to have you just imagine some thing. And
actually if anybody's taken Tai Chi here or anything,
they've probably heard this before. What I'm going to
have you do is imagine a string right out the top of
your head. Close your eyes. And I want you to
imagine this string right through here and I want you
to imagine that string goes all the way down through
your neck, down through your spine and all the way
down. Okay? Now what I want you to imagine is that
someone starts to pull up slightly on that string to the
point where the head aligns with the neck and the
spine aligns all the way down, so that if you didn't
have the string, if you didn't have your ligaments and
muscles connecting your bones, that each bone
would sit right on top of the other until you were
straight. Okay. Now, I want you to feel this and get
used to this for a moment. And I want you to open
your eyes only as quickly as you find yourself
integrating part of this into the way that you stand
naturally and remembering the way this feels. Okay?
How does that feel? Does that feel different?
Audience: Yes.
Kim: Okay. And you will have to practice this and
remember it. But it's a much better way of standing up
and keeping yourself. Because now you'll be able to
speak different, you'll have a different resonance to be
191
able to project. So, does that feel better?
Audience: Yes. Kim: Okay.
Ross: Now, I want, I'm curious. Let's hear him, put him
back in that posture, let's hear him speak from that
posture.
Kim: We want to get him, we want to put, okay, now
speak from this posture first.
Audience: Hello. Oh, from the, from the posture I'm in
right now?
Kim: Right.
Audience: Hello, welcome.
Kim: Okay.
192
Audience: _____ hear something, I used to, you
mentioned you're not a professional speaker. I, I used
to teach high school students how to debate. And
I've got to say, your speaking is very, very good.
Ross: Yeah.
Kim: Oh, thank you. That makes me feel better. Okay,
it, it's up to you whether you want to do what he
says. Because I don't know if you, I mean, you can
always switch back and forth. I mean, you'll want to
eventually stay in this posture but if you want to try
speaking from another posture ...
Ross: No, I want see it, only for the people at home
who can't see him if I provide a dramatic
demonstration ...
Kim: Okay.
Ross: if you were to put him into the earlier posture
and say something _____ .
Kim: Okay.
Ross: and then get back into the other one. So this is
his early posture.
Kim: Okay
Ross: for Kim to have to correct.
Audience: I want to say I used to coach high school
debate and ...
Kim: That is different. Ross: Yeah.
Kim: Okay. Now close your eyes and go back into
that other posture. Remember the way it felt, right
there. Okay. Now how does that feel?
Ross: He's got to talk, _____ .
Audience: I used to coach high school debate and ...
Kim: Okay.
Audience: I want to say your speaking very good.
Ross: Wow, better.
Kim: It makes a tremendous difference.
Audience: Applause.
Kim: Thank you very much, for being my first speaker.
Yes?
Audience: That almost made him about two inches
taller.
Kim: You know, that is, _____ it does, it makes you
taller. Now, if only I could do it every day and make
myself two inches taller every day ...
Audience: Laughter.
Kim: I'd be like six feet tall, but it doesn't work that
way.
Ross: But you wouldn't be nearly as sweet. And cute.
Kim: Sweet? It's never been a word used to describe
me, but that's okay. So what I want you guys to do is
I want you all to do this exercise. I want you to break
up in pairs and do it with each other and do what I
did. You saw me push his shoulders back a little bit,
help him correct, show him down, where it worked,
and all you have to do is say, "I want you to pull up,
just put the string down through" okay, and then
have them be, be as if someone pulled up on that
string, putting, aligning the head with the neck with
the spine so that each, if there were no muscles, each
bone would sit on top of the next naturally and stay
there. What, you want to write it down? Okay. Ross:
As if the bones naturally aligned without any muscles
or ligaments ...
Kim: And as if they just sit there one on top of the
other ...
Ross: Because they sit atop each other so perfectly. I
want you to recognize in everything you learn there's
a potential to learn more. As if, that's a weasel phrase,
as if the bones, as if the bones were so naturally
aligned that any muscles and, without, as if the bones
were naturally aligned without any muscles and
ligaments because they sit atop each other so
perfectly.
Kim: And I change it every time I say it, so however
he words it, however it works for you, just do it that
way.
Ross: Right.
Kim: So.
Ross: And then it might be useful in this exercise to
have the person say, "The rain in Spain falls mainly in
the plain" in their beginning posture ...
Kim: Okay.
Ross: Have them say it again in the new, open erect ...
Kim: Okay.
Ross: posture.
Kim: Or just, "I have an intuition about you.”
Ross: Open and erect posture.
Kim: Oh, god. Okay, split up into pairs you guys.
BREAK IN TAPE
193
Kim: Uh huh, it does.
Audience: It's just natural.
Kim: Awesome. I'm glad you guys noticed that. That's
great. It does.
Ross: What did you guys notice?
Kim: That it moves the location of his voice.
Ross: Yeah.
Kim: Okay. So. Now we're going to talk about
breathing, which this part, this did help with already,
with your breathing and breathing deeper. We already
talked, okay. One second. Let me acclimate again.
Ross: We just did posture.
Kim: And now we're doing breathing.
Ross: Breathing. Do you want me up there or do you
want me off your stage? It's your choice.
Kim: You can stay, but, yeah, you can stay.
Ross: Okay.
Kim: I don't care. Okay.
Ross: Change microphones.
Kim: We already did. I have it over here. And I have it
ready to beat him on the head if he's too much. Okay.
That's it.
Ross: I like that. You know that.
Kim: I know. He likes it or else I would. So ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: The other is the Kim Shoulder Hair Pull Control
Method.
Kim: I haven't had to use that in a long time. I have
better ways of control now. So, now we're going on to
breathing. I wanted to stop that line a little bit. We
already talked about how posture allows you to have
the ammunition to project your voice into the world.
Now when you breathe, the air is the ammunition.
Okay? So where you put your ammunition is very
important. All right? No, not there Phoenix. Just cause
my hand's down there doesn't mean I'm gesturing.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Okay. _____ just so cute and you know it. No.
So we're talking about where you put the ammunition.
Cause I
shoot guns so I like this metaphor. Okay? Cause I do,
had to learn how to take care of my guns, clean them,
get
everything together and then I had to learn how to
shoot. Now, at first it was a little difficult and I had to
work at it, but
then it became natural just to pick up my gun and
know exactly how to work it. Okay?
Ross: And she's good.
Kim: I do okay. I'm sure Pallone could kick my butt.
But that would be natural. He's shot much more than
me. So, now when you're breathing, a lot of people
think, "Ha, I'm a man, I'm going to breathe into my
chest.” Okay? But that's not right because if you
breathe into your chest you talk like this and you
don't sound much like a man. So what we're going to
do ...
Audience: Laughter
Kim: I can't help it. I know I'm not as funny as Ross
but I'm trying.
Ross: No, you're good.
Kim: So, let's see. So what we want to do ...
Ross: It's hard to be funny when you're that pretty.
Kim. - Oh, god.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: So.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: So, what you're, I'm going actually want to do is
breathe in your stomach. Now I need another
volunteer. He's volunteering right there. And he's so
tall I will stay sitting in the chair cause I'm taller that
way. Actually, I don't need to. That's okay. I'm secure.
So you can stand up and you have your posture
thing going on.
Ross: Jeez, he is tall. How tall are you?
Kim: I know.
Audience: Six-five or six maybe.
Kim: You know, six foot five guys always like tiny,
short girls. Do you know that?
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Not all the time. But lots of them do and I don't
know why. I don't want to say I know, but I've heard
stories. So what I want you to do is first breathe, just
breathe naturally. Okay. I'm going to check something
here. Cause where he's breathing you can't, you might
not be able to see it. But he's breathing high in his
chest. So what I want, so I going to have you do is
194
first just breathe there, okay? And as you let out your
breath, I want you to let out a sound, ju st an "ah" like,
like "ahhh.” Okay? Now I want you to move down
here so, out, you're extending out here. Breathe right
into where my hand is, okay?
Audience: Breathing
Kim: Okay.
Audience: Too much drinking _____ okay.
Kim: Okay.
Audience: Ahhhh.
Kim: Okay. Cause then we're going to move it even
lower, down to your solar plexus. And I want you to
let this stay still and breathe right into where my hand
is.
Audience: Breathing
Kim: No, just keep, try it for a minute and let it, keep
this still, breathe in deeper right into where my hand
is.
Audience: Breathing
Kim: You don't have to let out a sound. Just, just
breathe into here. Concentrate on breathing into
where my hand is. Right into the solar plexus.
Audience: Breathing
Kim: Getting better. Calm down, you're shaking. I
know, it's harder when you're not calm. Okay. There
you go, you're getting there. You don't have to
breathe all the way up. Just calm down and just
breathe right into here while this stays still. There you
go. Okay. Now try breathing right into here, so your
stomach moves out as your breath goes in. If you
want, you can put your hand on my stomach and feel
how it feels when you do that.
Ross: Her stomach. Audience: Laughter
Kim: Can you feel that? The difference? Could you
feel right here on me? Okay? And I don't move. See
how there's no movement? Just breathe right into,
into _____ right here. Okay. You're getting better.
That's better. You don't have to fill your lungs
completely, just breathe lower. Okay. That's about
getting better. Calm down. Let it just drop. I might
need more with him, it's not going down. Don't you
know how to go down?
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Kim: I'm kidding. Kidding, I'm teasing you. I'm making
you, trying to make you less nervous.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: So ...
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Had the opposite effect, maybe, but I don't
know. So, okay. Now just try breathing right here. Fill
your stomach with air, close your eyes, cause there's
nobody here but us. Okay? And feel your stomach
move out as your breath moves in. Keep your chest
still. In, okay, there, you're getting there. Okay, that's
better. There you go. Now, I want you to let an
"ahhh" out with your, as you're, your breath out go,
"ahhh.” Okay, that's better.
Audience: Ahhhh.
Kim: Okay. Now you can stop. But you need to keep
breathing it to there, okay?
Audience: It's all right there, right?
Kim: It's all right and down. It's not that you're letting
in, it's not really that you're taking in so much more
breath, it's not deep breathing. Okay?
Audience: I notice when I lie down, it seems to ...
Kim: Exactly.
Audience: _____ , resonate more down here.
Kim: Right. And that's one thing I was, that, that's a
good point. Because that's another exercise. We're
going to do the breathing and having you, having
you guys do this, dropping the breath down. Now if
for any reason anybody needs more help what you
want to do is lay on the ground on your back. And
then it naturally, the reason it does that is because
you're, stand up straight, is naturally when you lay on
the ground it gives you perfect posture, or almost
perfect posture on your back. And that's why when
you lay on the ground the breath goes in deeper.
Okay? So what I want you guys to do ...
Ross: Oh, by the way, let me just make ...
Kim: Okay.
Ross: ... a comparison for a point. One thing you can
do when you approach an h. b. is if you focus on
your breathing ...
Kim: Uh hmmm.
Ross: ... make sure your breathing comes from here,
you cannot be nervous and it's an anchor to stand on,
relaxed ...
Kim: Right.
Ross: ... powerful, balanced state. So one of the
195
things, instead of paying attention to internal
dialogue, pay attention to your breath. If you keep
your breath here, this is very, by the way,
Kim: Okay.
Ross: Whoever is speaking ...
Kim: Right.
Ross: ... please turn off your piece of equipment.
Kim: And after you ...
Ross: _____ don't take it out of the room.
Kim: And after you've naturally started to breathe into
this area at all times, it's a good way to notice what
your state is. Because frankly, even when I get
nervous, I start to breathe a little higher and I can feel
the chest constriction. Okay? But when you're
naturally relaxed, when you relax, you'll naturally start
breathing just into here once you start doing the
exercises and getting used to it, okay?
Ross: And be _____ powerful state.
Kim: And then, and it'll make you a bit more aware of
your state at times. You can tell a lot by your
physiology what your state is sometimes, cause
sometimes people aren't quite as aware of their states
as they should be.
Audience: So you can't hide your beer gut, then,
right? I mean ...
Kim: It really doesn't make a difference. I mean, it's
like, I mean, I know I used to think that, too, cause I'm
kind of obsessed with having a flat stomach. But, it
really doesn't make a difference where you breathe. I
mean, it doesn't, people,
Ross: Most people ...
Kim: People are more aware of, of what, of it
themselves than anybody else out there because
people aren't going, "Hi. How are you doing?" and
staring at your stomach. They're looking at your face.
Audience: Comment from audience.
Kim: Well, yeah, but that's different.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Don't bring the rare exception up, okay? That's
the rare exception. So all I want you guys to do is
break into pairs and do the same exercise. The reason
I'm having you let out the "ahhh" sound is because
you can tell that the voice is dropping by the more
powerful sound. Cause when I breathe up here, I'll do
it for you guys. Okay. I'll change my breathing.
(Demonstrating breathing) Ahhh. That's about all I
can get.
Ross: Yeah.
Kim: Okay. And then here. Ahhh. There's a little more
power, but then when I bring my breathing all the way
down, ahhh, it has so much more power when you
breathe in deeper. Now you don't have to fill it, for,
what he was trying to do at first was to fill his lungs
all the way up through his chest, from down here all
the way up here. That's not necessary. You're Just
breathing deeper, not more necessarily. Your chest ...
Ross: Your chest
Kim: will be still. Your chest will be still.
Ross: Just breathing deeper, not more. Deeper, not
more.
Kim: I mean, by a little more maybe but it's mostly just
a change of location into where you're breathing.
Okay?
Ross: Now this is profoundly powerful. How many
here are martial artists, the study of martial art? How
many in your martial art teach you about the
importance of centering your breath? They call it the
Don Dien ...
Kim: Don Dien
Ross: They call it the Ha Ra, different spots in
different, in different cultures but they all talk about
breathing ...
Kim: Uh hmm.
Ross: from here. In the Hawaiian tradition of Huna
they talk about it. This has been around for
thousands of years in multiple cultures. Try it, okay?
Kim: Yeah. It's pretty ...
Audience: Comment from audience
Ross: Yes sir.
Audience: Also, from what I've read, two-thirds of the
lung vessels in your lungs are _____ of your lungs.
Kim: Oh.
Audience: _____ in order to get much better oxygen
exchange if you're filling the lower area of your lungs
with oxygen.
Kim: Wow. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. It's
good information though. It's more, it's convincing if
they don't care about their voice they care about their
body or something. Getting some oxygen, yeah.
196
?: More energy.
?: World class cyclists also use this. What it, what's
Ross: World class psychos?
?: Cyclists.
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Kim: No, not you Ross. They're not talking about you.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: There are already so many arrows in there
there's no room for ...
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Kim: At least I don't twist them.
Audience: Laughter.
Kim: No, I think I put them more
Ross: What did you just say?
Kim: in the front. I don't even bother ...
Ross: What did you just say?
Kim: Like I even bother doing toward your back. I just
do it right to your face. Come on.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Watch out for the little ones. They, cause they
got to make up for it with the attitude.
Kim: If we look this tall physically, we got to look ten
feet tall energetically or however you want to say it,
appear ten feet tall every other way.
?: What happens is your lungs are right on top of
your diaphragm and when you breathe from lower
down ...
Kim: Uh hmmm
?: instead of your lungs pressing against the top of
your diaphragm, your diaphragm goes down ...
Kim: Exactly.
?: and the air pushes it down and then it shoots it
back up.
Ross: Air is power.
Kim: Oh, okay. And that's why your stomach's
distending. You're not taking air in your stomach but
you're pushing t he diaphragm down with your lungs.
Ross: I thought you didn't use a diaphragm.
Audience: Ohhhhhh.
Kim: (slapping Ross?)
Ross: Ow. Okay.
Kim: On that note, let's ...
Ross: Laughing
Kim: all break up and get partners.
BREAK IN TAPE
Kim: (Speaking Spanish)
?: _____ A little bit.
Kim: Okay.
Audience: Comments from audience
Kim: Okay. There's a whole bunch of people out in the
hallway, so I guess I'm going to say it in class. We
were talking about stretching and working out as a, to
build good posture. Okay. Now the thing that's going
on in the world today is a lot people work on
computers. A lot of people are engineers, a lot of
people are at their desks a lot and a lot of people are
driving a lot. Now what naturally happens when they
do that is they're leaning for-ward like this all day
long. Okay? And they're working these muscles and
not working the back muscles. Okay? So what's
happening is the chest muscles tighten up and pull
the shoulders forward and the back muscles atrophy,
Okay. I think that's the right word, I don't know. So,
so, I was showing some guys a couple of stretches to
stretch out the chest and to strengthen some of the
back muscles. Now I won't be able to show you that
much in the class but I will show you a couple of
stretches. Does anybody want to come up and demo
for me? Ben, of course, always wants to demo. So, I'll
finally let him up. Come on, Ben.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: Ben's like, "Me, me, me.” You know? Okay. So,
what we'll do ...
Ben: Orion.
Ross: Orion.
Kim: Okay, I'm supposed to call you Orion?
Orion: That's okay.
Kim: What, you have a stage name? You're special,
nobody's supposed to know your real name?
Ross: laughing
Kim: He's incognito? All right.
197
Orion: Daaa
Kim: Do do do. There you go. Okay. So what we're
going to do is first do the wall stretch. I've already
showed it to you so I'll have you do it right here. This
is a stretch, yeah ...
Ross: For those of you at home ...
Kim: Now ...
Ross: what he's doing is ...
Kim: What you want to make sure is ...
Ross: standing at a 90 degree ...
Kim: lean like that ...
Ross: at 90 degree angle ...
Kim: and what I want to make sure ...
Ross: at the wall ...
Kim: is that you feel it right through there ...
Ross: putting his ...
Kim: Do you feel it?
Orion: Uh hmm.
Kim: Okay.
Ross: left arm behind him, palm flat against the wall
and stretching his shoulders.
Kim: Okay, put it a little, one inch higher, ...
Ross: so his arm ...
Kim: How's that?
Ross: is behind him ...
Kim: Is that a little more?
Orion: I feel it right _____ down there.
Ross: His arm is behind him ...
Kim: But do you feel it up front _____ around
Ross: palm flat against the wall, ...
Orion: Yeah
Kim: Okay.
Ross: stretching his deltoids.
Kim: Now
Ross: What is he stretching?
Kim: He's stretching his ...
Ross: Superior vena cava.
Kim: Pectoralis. I can't believe that muscle left my,
pectoralis.
Ross: He's stretching his ...
Kim: His pecs.
Ross: pectoralis.
Kim: He's stretching his pecs. Okay. So, what we're
doing
Ross: In his case it's the pectoralis minor.
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Kim: Ouch. So what we're doing here is, he has his
arm about three inches above his shoulder. Okay?
And what we're going for isn't him pressed up against
the wall, it's more of an angle right here. Okay? A
deeper, a more acute angle it would be, right here.
Okay? Because what we're
Audience: Turn him so we can see it over here.
Ross: That's not a bad suggestion actually.
Kim: Okay. How do we do it?
Orion: Shift to the other side now.
Ross: Do the other side.
Kim: Do the other side? Okay. Yeah, that's a good
idea. So what we're stretching out is chest muscles
that everybody sits and uses at work every single
day. Okay? There's another way to do it in a doorway
but some people were having trouble with that so I
chose this exercise instead. All right? And you want
to do that 60 seconds on each side every day. It's a
great stretch for the chest. All right? Yes Mark.
Mark: You were mentioning to him that he should feel
it in certain places. Where should he feel it?
Kim: You, okay, Oh yes. You should feel it, the way
you know you're doing the stretch right is you'll feel it
from about here all the way down to the middle of the
chest. Okay? And you can also do it at different, with
your arm at different levels to get different stretches,
but the main thing is you want to feel it from here all
the way down through here, the _____ .
Ross: Kimberly, for those who can't see you at home,
are listening to the tape, describe where here is _____
.
Kim: It's right under the clavicle ...
Ross: Which is the collarbone.
Kim: Which is the collarbone, about from the, the
sternum, which is the breastbone, the breastbone all
198
the way out to the shoulder underneath the
collarbone.
Ross: The shoulder bone to the hipbone, and the
hipbone ...
Kim: Okay. Now that you've had your anatomy class,
let's, okay. Does anybody else have a question? You
had a question.
Audience: I was wondering since we just talked about
breathing if there's any breathing that's appropriate
for doing the s tretches that makes it more effective.
Kim: I don't really, I mean, of course, you're always
better with deeper breathing. I mean, but that'll
become natural. I mean this is more so you can open
up enough to do the deep breathing. Okay. And have
the correct posture. Cause they go together so much.
Orion: My arms kind of fall ...
Ross: Does anyone have a hammer and a nail?
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Orion: _____ keeping it here.
Kim: No. Probably, let go.
Audience: Comments from audience.
Kim: It's probably from being high up. So that's one
stretch to stretch out the chest. Now after you've
done that what you want to do is take your shoulders,
hunch them up, back, and relax them down just like
that, because that's going to allow them to reset
further back. Once you've stretched out the, because
they've been being pulled up in the socket, you're
going to have them resetting lower, back in the
socket. I did a few stretches and my shoulders
actually in three weeks moved back over an inch.
From, there's one mo re stretch; we'll try it but it's kind
of difficult to show in front of a room. I don't know if
you need it and you won't be able to feel it, but let's
try it with you.
Audience: Okay.
Kim: What you want to do is put your, grab your arm
behind your back and you literally twist your arm
back in the socket. You're twisting it in the shoulder
socket. Okay?
Ross: Does it make cool noise to gross out your
nieces ...
Kim: Oh, yeah. But you make sure you keep your
lower back straight, twist the shoulder back in the
socket, ...
Audience: And you twist ...
Orion: Away from your body, you're twisting ...
Kim: Uh huh. You're twisting it back.
Orion: Back.
Kim: Back. Take your
Orion: _____ palm with your body ...
Kim: Yes. It helps very much to stand up. Okay. And
then what you want to do, and if somebody has
trouble doing that, just take your shoulder and twist it
back in the socket and feel to make sure it's moving
back in the shoulder socket. Okay? Cause sometimes
it's not so easy for some people to reach that far
behind their back. Okay?
Audience: All right.
Kim: Let me show, I'll show you how to do it. Stand
with your back straight, let your arm go. What you're
doing is literally twisting back at the shoulder like
that, okay? So you don't need to grab it. It's easier if
you can grab it, but if you can't, do that. Okay? And
now, what you want to do after you've done that, it's
not going to work in this room, I don't know.
Ross: Laughing
Kim: Cause it's too cramped. Hold on. Here we go.
Here we go. Okay, So what we're going to do ...
Audience: Laughter
Kim: is ...
Orion: Not me.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Lean back in the, you have it back in the socket
right?
Ross: Who's got those shoe mirrors?
Kim: Shush. And what you want to do is then take
your head, okay? Turn it away from that shoulder,
away from the shoulder you're doing with it. Okay.
Audience: Oh yeah.
Kim: Stop the stretch and look down, _____ towards
your shoulder.
Audience: Oh yeah.
Kim: And you'll feel it through this front.
Ross: Wow, that's a great _____ .
Kim: Okay?
Audience: Comment from audience
Kim: Then you just take it, okay? Take your arm,
199
watch me, and you literally, just watch it, just twist it
literally back in the socket. Okay? You can feel it. You
can feel each shoulder and see t he difference. Then
you do that, and look down. Okay?
Ross: Very good.
Kim: You, it's like rotating your shoulder back in the
socket is what you're doing. Just one at a time. Okay?
And then look over, like you're looking over your
shoulder, and look down. Can you feel that right
through the front?
Audience: Yeah.
Kim: The thing is for the people who can't feel it,
okay? For the people who can't, everybody's not
going to. If you don't need the stretch, you're not
going to feel it. Okay? But if you can feel it, you know
you need it. And it's for, the place you'll feel it is
there's a muscle here, muscles here called the scalines
in the front of the neck. Okay9 And these muscles are,
for the people, especially this exercise is for those
people whose necks go like that and you can see
them popping out all the time. If you can feel them
there, you do some, yes, and you were feeling it, too,
weren't you?
?: No, I was just checking to see if I ...
Kim: Were you feeling it though when you did it?
?: Oh yeah.
Kim: Okay.
?: For people whose necks go like what?
Kim: For people whose necks go forward a little bit
like that, those are the people who are really going to
feel this. If you can feel it through stretch, if you can't,
hey, you're lucky, you don't need it. Okay? And if you
have any questions about whether you need it, come
ask me afterward. Okay? Cause I'm perfectly willing to
talk to you guys outside of this, outside of being in
front of the room.
?: Cool.
Kim: Okay? Does anybody here have any questions?
Audience: Do the other side now?
Kim: You can do that on your own.
Audience: _____ .
Kim: Laughing
Audience: It's a good idea ...
Kim: It is a good idea to do the other side, but I think
you're the only one whose actually been sitting doing
it, Ben.
Ross: If you need help, I'm here.
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Kim: So, any questions? Everybody got it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Do you need help ...
Kim: No, you don't have it?
Audience: No I don't.
Kim: Come to me afterwards. Okay? Cause it's not the
easiest t hing to teach. That's why I was kind of
reluctant to do it in front of the room in the first place.
Audience: Form a line.
Kim: What? Form a line, yeah. Everybody come get in
the line. Okay.
Ross: You okay now?
Kim: Yeah. Not for that. Okay. So, next thing, really
quick cause this has taken a long, taken a ...
Ross: Uh hmmm.
Kim: is, the muscles in the front, you stretch them out,
right? The second part to that if you need this is
strengthening the muscles in the back.
Yates: This is the end of Side 17 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
200
Tape 9 – Side 2
Yates: Welcome to Side 18 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
Kim: I was kind of reluctant to do it in front of the
room in the first place.
?: Forma line.
Kim: What? Form a line. Everybody come get in the
line. Okay.
Ross: You okay now?
Kim: Yeah. Not for that. Okay. So, next thing, really
quick cause this has taken a long, taken a lot, is the
muscles in the front, you stretch them out, right? The
second part to that if you need this is strengthening
the muscles in the back. The rhomboids, the, I'd say
the rear delts and the rhomboids are the two most
important. Okay? In the back for this. Free weight
exercise for rear delts. So you _____ just like this,
straight back. Yeah. Well you can do it, you can either
do it with your arms, arms flexed or straight. I asked a
personal trainer, she told me straight was better,
straighter, just a little bit, straight back, and you're
going to feel it right there. Okay? Yeah?
Audience: Would it be better to do those like lying
down on a bench or, or bending ...
Kim: No, because you have to do it, they're the rear
muscle. If you're doing it on a bench, you're doing the
chest.
Audience: No, I mean laying, laying down on a bench.
Kim: No, you can't lay on a bench. You can do it
sitting or you can do it standing. You cannot do it
laying down. You can do it sitting and do it like that,
but you cannot do it laying, I wouldn't do it laying
down on the bench. I mean, that's kind of awkward
anyway. There are machines for it in the gym. And
rhomboids, quickly, hands behind back, like this. Can
you guys see or no?
Audience: No.
Kim: Well, you don't have to do it. Everybody just,
just sit down and watch for this one, okay? Cause
everybody, cause you're not going to be able to see if
you do it. Hands behind your back like this and you
squeeze your scapula, your shoulder blades together
and look up and hold it three seconds. And do that,
repeat it 15 times. And that'll get your rhomboids
strengthened, Okay? I knew this took a while but so
many people were asking about it that I knew we
should do it in the seminar.
Ross: Now, now the reason why all the posture is
important is remember, the posture is going to
determine how you can get to the breath ...
Kim: Uh huh
Ross: _____ determine how you're able to speak.
Kim: And that'll determine ...
Ross: _____ .
Kim: And we're not talking about pitch and resonance
today, but naturally from proper breathing and proper
posture, the pitch and resonance will start to follow. I
mean on the tape, our exercises, but we're limited ...
Ross: What tape would that be?
Kim: _____ to time today. My tape. How to Speak
with Voice.
Ross: Laughing
Kim: So. But on the other, but those that ...
Ross: Wait a minute. Are those tapes available?
Could they order them at, today some time? From Dr.
Yates?
Kim: Oh yes.
Ross: Laughing
Kim: From Dr. Yates in the back of the room right
there. So, now, but we're not going to have time to get
to those today, so we're just going to focus on a few
elements of the voice today. All the metaphors on the
tape, I'm not going to have time to do them today,
either. There's a lot more on the tape, but this is just
kind of a sampling and get you guys on the road to a
good speaking voice. And believe me, before I used
to have a horrible speaking voice. It was higher, no
resonance, I had horrible posture arid through these
exercises and all that, I changed my voice and I
changed my posture. It's very different. So it really
does work. I'm an example. So.
Ross: She liked it so much, she bought the company.
Kim: If I could afford to buy your company, hon, I
would be a very wealthy woman.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Okay. Now, the next thing we're going to talk
about is inflection, Now inflection's really important
for delivering your patterns correctly. There are three
ways of speaking. Okay? You can speak with in
201
command language, you can ask questions, or you
can make statements. Okay? Now statements are just,
you have a pretty flat tonality when you're making a
statement. You have a pretty flattened, flat inflection.
So we're not going to deal with that today. Cause
what I've seen with speed seducers a lot of the time is
problems with commands and questions. Okay? Yes.
Audience: Could you define what inflection means
please?
Kim: Inflection is just the raising and lowering of the
voice, the tone of the voice in a sentence.
Audience: Okay. Thank you.
Kim: Okay? And generally when you're making a
command, the inflection drops at the end of the
sentence. And when you're asking a question, the
inflection goes, goes up. So, for example, if you're
asking someone to go out with you and said,
"(Breath) Let's go out.” That's asking them a
question. But if you say, "Let's go out" you're giving
a command. Now the problem ...
Ross: "Let's go out?"
Kim: "Let's go out?"
Ross: That's a ...
Kim: That's ...
Ross: _____ .
Kim: Yeah. Because you're giving them the
opportunity to say no if you're asking them a
question, but if you're giving a command, they're
much likely to just, much more likely to go along with
you and just say, "Okay, let's go.” All right? So, let's
see, where am I?
Ross: Plus an example would be like, I don't know, so
Kim if you can ...
Kim: What?
Ross: Closing _____ language from a pattern and you
give the night inflection and correct _____ .
Kim: We're going to do that later.
Ross: Okay.
Kim: Okay. (Laughing)
Ross: _____ .
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Do that later. Yes, that is, that is command. For a
good example of command language versus
non-command language, on my way here I was in the
airport. I got there, my flight was leaving Atlanta an
hour late, right? So we get there, go have dinner and
come back 15 minutes before the flight and they go,
"Well, sorry ma'am, we gave your seat away.” Friday
night, I said, "No, cause I'm getting on this plane.”
And he looked at me and he said, "Well I'm sorry, can
you, you need to go in the morning.” And I said,
"No.” I said, "If I have to talk to you, your supervisor,
his supervisor, his supervisor, and owner of this
company, I'm getting on that plane.”
Ross: Laughing
Kim: And there was no question in my voice ...
Audience: Laughter
Kim: that I was getting on that plane that night, cause
I wasn't coming back the next morning. Okay? If I had
said, "Well, are you sure? I'm, no, I'm getting on the
plane.”
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Do you really think I would have been on that
plane or would I have been sitting my ass here
Saturday morning instead of Friday night? See? So it's
very important whether you, how your inflection is
when you speak to a person.
Ross: And by the way, she got on the flight. Tell them
what they did to get you on the flight.
Kim: Oh. They, they had already given away my seat,
they, they'd closed the doors and were about to pull
away. The guard started frantically calling on the
phone, said, "Okay, we're holding the plane for you,
holding the plane, " frantically calling, went, opened
the plane, pulled the guy off and gave me my seat.
Audience: Laughter and applause
Kim: Okay? And my, yeah, and my boyfriend was
there, who is a master persuader, and I was doing
such a good job he didn't even open his mouth.
Audience: Laugher
Kim: Okay. Do you have a pen, Ross?
Ross: Yes.
Kim: Here.
Ross: I almost said, "Yes, sir.” Yes, ma'arn.
Kim: Okay. Cause what we're going to do is, how are
we for time?
Ross: Ah ...
Kim: Now that's a question tonality.
202
Ross: Like a, like another ten minutes. Can you do it in
ten or do you need more?
Kim: Ah, I need more.
Ross: How much more do you need?
Kim: Ummm ...
Ross: Take a guess.
Kim: Well let's, well, I mean I can cut things short.
Ross: Well guess. How much more do you need?
Kim: Half an hour. Ross: Another half an hour? Can
you do it in another fifteen?
Kim: Well, we can skip some of the exercises and just
have them do them at home.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, okay. Do them at home.
Kim: Okay.
Ross: When you get the tape you'll be able to _____ .
Kim: Okay, what I want you guys to do is practice
command tonality. You can do this with each other
during breaks, but we'll give you a few sentences.
We'll start with simple ones. Okay? Like "Let's go
out.” Okay? You just write these down and practice
them. ”Let's go out.” Okay? I'll just write some down.
Okay. Let's see ...
Ross: How about, "Let's go clothes shopping.”
Kim: No, that's the one I use on you all the time.
Ross: Laughing
?: "I'm getting on that plane.”
Kim: "I'm getting on that plane, NOW.” Okay.
?: Whoa.
Kim: Just a couple of examples there. Just some short
sentences to practice using command language.
Okay? Because there's another thing about inflection
that's even more important, you guys, and that's
embedding commands. All night. Because what he
does in the seminar is embedding the verb, verbal
commands, like ...
Ross: "Feel horny.” _____ .
Kim: No. What's it like when you go inside and, okay.
So what you're doing in embedding commands ...
Ross: Ben
Kim: When he's embedding commands in front of the
room, you've got to remember that he is leaning very
heavily on that tonal shift. Cause what you're doing is
dropping your tonality Just slightly when you embed
a command. Ross: Why am I leaning on it?
Kim: He leans, I'm going to say, he leans on it because
he wants you to hear it consciously so you can
understand how to do it yourself But when you're
doing this with a woman, you only want to have it slip
'in unconsciously. She doesn't want, you don't want
her to hear that consciously. So you drop it maybe
just slightly in pitch for the verb that you're doing and
whatever command comes after it. Like you're saying,
"Feel horny.” You're dropping your tonality slightly
on those two words only. Just slightly. Cause it's like,
"What's it like when you go inside and come up?"
and, and not dropping it a whole bunch. Mark's a
perfect example. None of you hear when he drops his
voice up here. None of you do. It goes right in cause
he doesn't lean on it. Okay? So, what I'll have Ross do
is write a couple of sentences with embedded
commands ...
Ross: Okay.
Kim: and I want you to underline the embedded
command and the word that goes, whatever words go
with it. The verb. Yes.
Audience: Question from audience
Kim: I want you to go inside. You don't have to.
That's just the way of marching it out, the
unconscious mind can hear much smaller shifts than
the conscious mind. So it's not, it's very simple.
Ross: You can pause if you like. There are, there are
different ...
Kim: You can.
Ross: ways to talk out commands.
Kim: Uh huh.
Ross: You can even speak a little quieter ...
Kim: Yeah.
Ross: _____ .
Kim: Well, let's just give them ...
Ross: Okay.
Kim: the basics right now.
Ross: It's not important ...
Kim: They don't need to like hear every way of
embedding a command in the universe.
Ross: _____ .
Kim: Get confused, get confused. Mark only _____ .
203
?: _____ .
Kim: It's any shift in tone. The general way is to drop
because that is command languaging in dropping the
tonality. So if you're giving a command, you're
dropping it just slightly to embed the command.
That's the most common way, so that's the way we're
going to tell you guys today.
Ross: It's not important to get aroused?
Kim: Laughing
Ross: _____ .
Kim: It's not the point to get aroused. And find me
very fascinating. Okay. So ...
?: Very often ...
Kim: So just write down these sentences, sorry we're
starting to rush here, but ...
Ross: Very often ...
Kim: I thought I'd be too short in this, not in that way,
but I thought I'd ...
Audience: Laughter
Kim: I thought I wouldn't ...
Ross: _____ .
Kim: Do any of you guys have questions about
inflection? Okay? Yes.
Audience: Could you just do one line to show us ...
Kim: Uh huh
Audience: they way it should be?
Kim: Give me something to read, Paul, Ross. Let's see.
Let me see if I can find something in here that I
already have written. Cause I forget the patterns,
frankly.
Ross: How about this? How about these?
Kim: Okay. ”It's not important to get aroused. Very
often a person can feel fascinated. What's it like when
you desire more attention? Now, with me, when I
desire more attention, I just go inside and find a way,
" whatever. You know? You can hear me embedding
the commands right there. Could you hear me
embedding them? Just slightly, though.
Ross: Very slightly.
Kim: Okay.
Ross: You're barely stopping on it.
Kim: Cause you just, that's what you do is, you just
barely stop on it. They'll get it unconsciously.
Ross: When you start out exaggerating it and then
you gradually take it down as you practice _____ .
Kim: Right.
Ross: to the point where it's barely perceptible by
someone who's _____ .
Kim: Yeah. Because it's not, it's really not important to
stop on it, you really just need to do it very slightly.
And that's why I wanted to make the point about how
he speaks, because he's doing it for your benefit. Not,
he doesn't want you to repeat this.
Ross: Right.
Kim: Okay?
Ross: I want, yes sir.
Audience: With a very slight change in inflection
versus a very strong change in inflection, you're
mentioning that we don't have to make it a great
change but is it more impactful on the unconscious
mind if ...
Kim: No.
Audience: you really make a big ...
Kim: No.
Audience: change?
Kim: No.
Ross: No.
Kim: It's just the change, period. You can do tonal
anchors, any kind of anchors. If I touch him, look,
give me your hand real quick. Everything that impacts
the unconscious mind, okay? So I'm doing a _____
anchor, which, have, do you guys know what _____
anchors are?
Audience: No.
Ross: We're going to show them.
Kim: Oh, you're going to show them? Okay, well, he'll
tell you what they are. But suppose he's in a state,
okay, and I want him to remember that state by a
touch. Okay? And if I touch him, that connects that
touch with that state or, I was talking, I'm sorry, That
connects that touch with that state, right? Does it
make a difference if I touch him like that or if I go like
that? No, it doesn't. It's the unconscious mind picking
up on the difference.
Audience: I see. So it's just for the purpose of marking
it out that ...
204
Kim: Uh huh.
Audience: the greater the change isn't going to make
it any more powerful.
Kim: No. The unconscious mind will notice it and the
fact that you drop in tonality instead of going up
does make it a command language, but the slight drop
is fine.
Audience: I see. Thank you.
Kim: Okay.
Ross: And also, the, the other way to do things is
when Orion was reading the poem, his overall tonality
shifted.
Kim: Uh huh.
Ross: He was talking, not tonality, his volume. He was
speaking a lot more quietly.
Kim: But that's another issue.
Ross: Yeah, yeah.
Kim: Okay, so the last thing we're going to talk about
then is using emotion in your voices. Now I have
noticed that some people here have a little bit of a flat
voice no matter what they're talking about. Okay?
And especially if you guys are reading patterns or
you're trying to rehearse a pattern or rehearse
something you're not really feeling yet completely.
Okay? It's much harder to have people hear that
emotion in your voice. But you've been talking about
incredible connections. You want it to sound like an
incredible connection. Okay? So, what we're going to
do is have you guys, well, we're not going to have
time to do an exercise, night?
Ross: We can do another, one more.
Kim: We can do one more exercise?
Ross: Sure, sure.
Kim: Okay. And the emotion that you use in your
voice is very important. Like imagine when you were
all kids. Okay? Think about when you did something
wrong. Okay? Now imagine, I know, all these guys are
going, "I did lots.” Okay. So imagine if you went up to
your mom and went, "No, mom, I really didn't do it.
Kenny did it.” Would she have believed you?
?: _____ .
Ross: Oh my god, they _____ Kenny.
Kim: No, she, she wouldn't have believed you.
?: _____ .
Audience: Laughter
Kim: But if you went, "No, mom, I really didn't do it.
Kenny did it, I swear.” She's going to believe you
cause the emotion in your voice is very important. In
sales, especially when you're doing this kind of thing,
cause if you want someone to feel a peak experience,
you better be feeling it yourself first. Okay? You can't
expect someone to go there unless you go first.
?: Right.
Kim: Like Mark said, you don't have to be there
completely or as deeply as they are, but you have to
be there. Okay? Now let me give you a couple of hints
to doing this. Cause sometimes I know some of you
guys are going your heads and going, "Okay, what's
the next word of my pattern?" All right? First of all,
that's not the best way to do it. But if you're going to
have, if you're going to be rehearsing patterns, what
you want to do is think, "Okay, what am I talking
about? I'm talking about a peak experience.” And
what you want to do is use your visualization skills to
put yourself in a place where you are feeling a peak
experience. Like you want to imagine an amazingly
beautiful sunset if that's a p eak experience for you, so
you can lead her into whatever peak experience she is
feeling. Okay? Now, let me see. Like if you're
visualizing trying to make someone feel lustful, if you
guys in here are breast men, now you might want to
visualize the pair of tits you've ever seen.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: Okay? And you'll be able to sound really lusty.
All night? It's makes it
Ross: Watermelons.
Kim: easier that way.
Kim: Ummm,
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Watermelons. I mean, you're seeing some
watermelons.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: So, what I want you guys ...
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: What did he say?
?: What about _____ .
Ross & Audience: Laughter
?: _____ .
Kim: Oh god.
205
Ross: Watermelons. Kim: I don't have that aspect, but
I have the legs, so I don't know what you can think
about for that. So, what I'm going to do is, should we
do this exercise or should we skip it?
Ross: Yeah, do an exercise. Sure, do one more.
Kim: Okay. One more exercise.
Ross: You want to do another exercise ...
Kim: Do you want to do it
Ross: do you find it helpful?
Kim: or do you want to just
Audience: Yes.
Kim: Are you guys sure? Okay.
Ross: Begin.
Kim: What we're going to do is we're going to
compact two. Okay. I'm going to, first let me write
these up, cause what we're going to do is have you
guys split up and first we're just going to give you a
few emotions to work with, a few, well, they're not
necessarily emotions, I forgot to say that part.
Because another thing about this is words need to
sound like what they mean. Whether or not they're
emotions, if you're saying that, "It was a really long
day, " it doesn't express what you're saying. You want
to say, "It was a really long day.” Cause words need
to sound like what they mean when you're saying
them.
Ross: "I've got a really smalllllll penis.”
Kim: Uh huh.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: And that's ...
Audience: Laughter
Kim: And actually he's exhibiting another point I want
to make. Little does he know it now, but ...
Audience: Laughter
Kim: the point is also ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'm out of here.
Audience: laughter
Ross: I'll see you later.
Kim: That you don't have to be, people are anchored,
well, I shouldn't even use that word, certain, certain
tonalities say a certain thing to people. Okay? Like if
someone says, - _____ " like he says, they
automatically think of lust. So you can add in a feeling
to a word that, it doesn't necessarily correspond with.
Like a little, really tiny penis. He's adding the long,
people are thinking, "Okay, it's not real tiny if he's
saying it that way.” Right? So you can ...
Ross: I'm only speaking truth.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Okay. So let me write up the words real quick.
?: She's not denying that one.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: Okay.
?: Curious.
Ross: For those of you at home, the passwords are
curious, beautiful, amazing, anticipating, anticipation,
excuse me, ...
Kim: Okay. And, do all of you guys know the peak
experience pattern? Okay.
Ross: "Do you remember the last time you had a peak
experience? Like maybe you were climbing a mountain
or you saw a ...”
Kim: I'm not going to make it that long.
Ross: "beautiful sunset ...”
Kim: laughing
Ross: "or heard a piece of music that really moved
you? As you put yourself back into those feelings
while we're talking, the really wonderful thing is how
sometimes you can just stop the world and slow time
down ...
Kim: _____ .
Ross: "and let yourself go with this. And you know,
Kim: Okay. I'll just have you guys do one because we
don't have time.
Ross: Yeah, "an amazingly beautiful sunset.” Great,
very good. Good choice.
Kim: Okay. Yeah.
Ross: Very good choice.
Kim: There's another one here that's good, but that, it
exhibits saying thoughts with a lusty tonality, but
you already know that. You've heard it all weekend,
so.
Ross: Lusty, tttttt. Brother Jed used to say,
"Lustttttt.”
206
Kim: Lust.
Ross: "You're lusty, lusty, pervert.” What's that?
?: _____ .
Ross: Okay. We need a minute
Kim: Okay.
Ross: ... to change tapes.
Kim: Oh, is it done right now? Three minutes?
Ross: Three minutes ...
Kim: Okay,
Ross: and we have to change tapes.
Kim: we'll be ready, we'll be in the exercise by then. So
what I want you to do is split up into pairs and use
these words with each other, and you better convince
that person that you mean it. Okay? Cause if they
don't, if you don't convince your partner I expect them
to slam you. Okay? Frankly. And then do this
sentence using all the emotions with the different
words. If you need to visualize, visualize. I don't care
what you visualize as long as it puts you in that state.
That's up to you.
Ross: So here's what she saying. With this first part
you want to say the words with a, with a,
Kim: I'll, I'll ...
Ross: inflection and tonality.
Kim: ... do it right now.
Ross: Okay, go ahead, do it.
Kim: Um, curious. Whoa. Amazing. Why do I need
this? I have a mike on.
Ross: _____ .
Kim: Beautiful. Anticipation. Okay? And then, "Have
you ever had a peak experience? Like maybe you saw
an amazingly beautiful sunset?" Something like that.
Okay?
?: Something like that.
Kim: And that's, and, you know, everybody's going to
be a little different, but you better be convincing.
Okay? That's all I can say. Now split up into pairs ...
?: _____ .
Kim: _____ New York is different than the proper
tempo in
Texas. Okay? And Texas is more like a long, slow
tempo. And in New York you're going to be talking
like
this and you're going to fit in with
everybody there. Okay? So what you have to do,
what I want all you guys to do tonight, or wh enever,
when you have a chance, if you're watching the Bulls
game tonight, you're not going to get a chance, is to
go out in the world and listen to people. I don't care if
it's women, I don't care if it's men, I don't care who it
is, anybody, old people, young people, cause they're
all going to be different and match the pace that they
speak at. Okay? When you speak with them, I want
you to speak at the same pace they speak at and the
same volume. Yes, it's going to take practice. But
once you get there, y ou don't want people
missing every other word you say. Cause if you talk
like this and you're talking to a Southern belle, she's
only going to hear half of what you say, cause that's
the pace she understands at. Okay?
Ross: So, if you say, "I really hate assholes, " she's
going to hear, "I asshole.” Kim: Yeah.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And the other thing ...
Kim: yes.
Ross: And the other thing you might want to do is get
yourself a metronome.
Kim: Uh huh. A metronome's good. For people who
need to slow down in general, a metronome's very
good. Okay? It's, if anybody in here is like that, get
yourself a metronome. Otherwise, go out and pace
people in the world and that is pretty much all I have
to say today except for go out see THE TRUMAN
SHOW because it's a wonderful, wonderful movie.
?: So what's the tempo like? One and two and three?
?: One and two and three
Ross: Depends on the people ...
Kim: There's no proper tempo, to whoever you're
speaking to. Like if I spoke to you, I'd speak pretty
slowly with a lot of pauses.
Ross: And occasionally she'd go (deep breath),
"Well, here's what I want ...”
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Kim: Yeah, if I spoke to you, I'd speak slower with
pauses. Cause that's how you speak. So, and in
everybody else here, it'd be a little different.
Audience: What if I s-s-s-spoke like th-th-that?
Ross: That's Matthew.
Kim & Audience: Laughter
207
Kim: If it were you, I'd smack you. Yes, cause I know
you don't have to speak like that. So, I hope I did
okay, you guys. My first speaking engagement was
_____ .
Audience: Cheers and applause.
Ross: Remember this. This is _____ .
Audience: Applause
Kim: Like I said, if anybody has any questions later,
feel free to approach me. _____ . And I hope you
guys enjoyed my presentation.
Ross: We d id.
Audience: Comments from audience
Kim: Okay. Here you go.
?: _____ this is the first time.
Kim: Laughing
?: I can't believe how you'll be later.
Kim: I need that on tape to play for myself every day.
Ross: Okay, we need people back in their seats. Okay.
Oh, if that's, no, we've been up there for, for a
demonstration, for, okay. Is everyone back in their
seats? People have been begging me, bugging me all
day, "Ross, tell us about the products.” Well, ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Well, and my perspective is, I used to think,
you know, how can I get, I used to think how can I
get people to buy products now? But, I came to
realize that really we don't sell products, we don't give
seminars, we don't really, on one level we do, your
turn is over and your turn is yet to come. It's my turn
now. Okay? The thing is this, is, let me give you
something, a little something off the top of my head.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Just teasing. Okay. The thing is, is I really don't
think in, in a, in a, in a very major sense that we sell
any products. I really don't think we present any, any
seminars. What, what we offer is, I think what we offer
is way, a way to reach ultimately where you want to
go with women. A way to, not just understand things
on the surface level, but to understand things on a
very deep level. A way to open up new possibilities.
Do you understand what I'm saying? A way to reach
so far beyond what you thought was possible before
you walked in the door that that just seems ridiculous.
Okay? Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So, what we're going to be covering later in the
afternoon, we're going to bring Brother Orion up, he's
going to cover some basic patterns in the, in your
workbook, word for word, so you can see how they
work. We'll do a little bit more work with you. Okay?
And, by the way, one of the things I wanted to say is
that I'm very proud of all of you. I really am. I mean, I
was griping at Kim yesterday like, "These guys are
really the slowest group I've had in a long time.
They're not alert, they're not getting it.” But now, I
look at you guys and I think you're really getting a lot
more, aren't you?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So give yourselves a huge hand.
Audience: Applause
Ross: And, ...
Audience: Comment from audience
Ross: Yeah, very, very true.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: What ...
Audience: Comment from audience
Ross: No, one of the major by products of being, one
of the major by products of being here is that, by the
way, you realize you're not laughing it off, you're
laughing it in.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Because as Rex says, "When you're laughing,
you're not in the past, you're not in the future, you're
just completely in the present moment and every
muscle is working together to give you one amazing
feeling that you all want to have in your body.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's just the naked truth.
?: _____ . body? Damn.
Ross: It's just the naked truth. My personal
recommendations, by the way, we're going to come up
with some packages, we'll confer together, and we'll
offer some group packages that you can buy things
together. My personal favorites, we now have the
tapes from Hawaii.
Audience: Oh, yeah.
Ross: We have eight tapes of me teaching the latest
speed seduction, stuff I do not teach in this class.
This is a basic class. This is very advanced stuff. The
latest stuff plus we have me teaching marketing
208
secrets. If you want to learn how to market, knowing
my marketing secrets, it's on these tapes.
?: Oh yeah.
Ross: These are videotapes. This is one of my
absolute favorites. This is the seduction masters
weekend tapes. It's me and Major Mark and a couple
of other students just going deep shit, full bore, full tit
boogie for three full days, talking about war stories
and what we do in the field. People will often ask me,
"Is there different material on each tape set?"
Absolutely, yes there is. There's maybe 20 percent
overlap but generally speaking, whether you buy
audios or videos, you're getting 80 percent new
material with each set. That's a tribute to how
dedicated we are at stealing from all of our students.
No ...
Ross & Audience: laughter
Ross: No, it's a, it's, it's, seriously, it's a comment on
how we are dedicated to improving the material
constantly. We have my classic book, which I wish
would disappear, but it's still here, so, nonetheless,
here it is. There's a picture of me in my smoking jacket
with this hot date and a rib sticking out. Oh god, well.
Audience: Laughter
?: Ross, ...
Ross: You know ...
?: _____ .
Ross: Oh, yeah.
?: You need a mirror.
Ross: We have
?: _____ .
Ross: We have the skills builder tapes. Now, where,
are they here?
?: Right here.
Ross: Now I'm very proud of these. I got this idea
from a marketing expert. He said, "You know, Ross,
sometimes after I've reviewed your home study
course, I don't want to have to go through the entire
course just to brush up on one pattern.” He said, "For
example, let's say I know I really want to get some oral
sex, I want to just hear the blowjob pattern. Why
don't you create a wonderful set of tapes that has a
pattern per side repeated over and over and over
again'.”' So we came up with the skills builder tapes.
And what these, it has the incredible connection
pattern. Side One, the blowjob pattern, my favorite.
Side Two, incredible connection, Side Three, love
versus attraction, stack, Side Four, stacking realities,
Side Five, blamo, Side Six, peak experience, Side
Seven, setups, conversational setups, Eight, linkage
phrases, Nine, negation, and Ten is a special treat. So
if you want to review patterns without having to go
through an entire course, by the way, you can only
buy this if you've already bought a home study
course. This is used as a supplement, not as a
replacement for. Get these. These are really good.
There's a total of ten patterns and they're repeated
over and over and over again per side. Good way to
get it into your mind. One suggestion if you have a
light and sound machine, put it on the learn setting
and then listen to these.
?: Oh yeah.
Ross: It shows you how to custom design your state
of consciousness that you want to be on. And it's a
passive listening tape. I put you in a trance induction
as you listen and it shows you how to custom design
...
?: I have friends _____ .
Ross- I'm talking about bow to seduce strippers here.
Excerpt from tape (Ross talking): I'm curious about
something. I know that you have to walk a line. You
have to walk a line between enticing the customers,
getting them really hot and bothered, but not so hot
that they juice all over you or try to assault you, you
know? Or stalk you. How long did it take you to get
comfortable walking that line? And they always give
me a different answer. She, it took her like a couple of
tries of dancing before she, she got into the groove.
So immediately, she sees me as something other than
a, than a mark, other than a customer. What I do is I
just start talking to her about fantasies. I said, "You
know, see, this place is really about fantasy and the
world of fantasy really interests me. I think everything
is based on fantasy, even jokes. Let me tell you a
really good one.” I told her the Voodoo Dildo joke.
How many people here have heard the Voodoo Dildo
joke?
Ross: I'm talking on the exact sequence of things
seduce, to seduce strippers, but you'll just have to get
the tape to find out more. Okay? How, how many here
have the equalizer tape? Have you used it?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: What do you think of that?
Audience: It's pretty good.
Ross: I, that's one of my absolute favorite products,
209
so we ...
Kim: It's an awesome product.
Ross: Thank you. For Kim to give that kind of
compliment, that's no small ...
Kim: I think it's so important for all of you to get that
tape night away.
Ross: What the tape does is it drops you in a trance
and I show you how to custom design your own state
of consciousness. Remember I said that confidence
isn't really enough? That you want to design a state
that's part playful, part cocky, part outrageous, part
intuitive, part clear-headed, part determined? It'll show
you how to custom design that for yourself. I highly
recommend that tape. Huh?
?: Equalizer
Ross: Equalizer is ...
?: _____ .
Ross: Right here. Here's the equalizer.
Audience: You have a different order form than this? I
don't see it on here.
Ross: Is it on the order form, Dr. Ya tes?
Yates: We don't have any of the products on the
order blank.
Ross: Do you have to write down ...
?: That's not the catalogue.
Yates: There are no products on the order form.
Ross: Yeah, the products are here on display ...
Yates: The products are in the catalogue and you
have free catalogues _____ .
Ross: Yeah, it's in there somewhere. It's in there
somewhere. It's in there somewhere.
?: Happens when you use the blamo. ”I'm going to
knock you, wow!"
Ross & Audience: Laughter
?: "Mama said knock you, wow!"
Ross: Okay. And also we're going to do value
solicitation which is a very powerful pattern. You saw
pieces of value, value solicitation when I worked with
the lovely Brother Debbie. Right Brother Debbie?
Debbie: Right.
Ross: Right. How about that little Kim? Yaaa.
Audience: Cheers and applause
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: Oh, tell us a little bit about that woman, oh, talk
about troubleshooters and the woman.
Brother Orion: Okay. Well first, you know, obviously
the people who were listening to those tapes did not
see the girl that I had up on the stage, but some of
you saw the girl who I had up on the stage. Does
somebody want to tell me what they thought of her?
Audience: Hot, knock out.
Brother Orion: Knock out, one to ten, come on.
Audience: Comments from audience
Ross: She's about an eight-five, nine.
Audience: Seven and a half.
Brother Orion: What did you think?
Audience: Actually, she was a 10. She lit up a
cigarette, an 8. 5.
Brother Orion: Laughing.
Audience: _____ cigarettes lower.
Brother Orion: Okay, well ...
Audience: That's my opinion, but ...
Ross: She was a hottie.
Brother Orion: She was definitely a hottie ...
Audience: Comments from audience
Brother Orion: And, and she walked by the door, I
was outside the room talking to Yates and I, Yates,
you know, apologized, but I had to go off and talk to
her. Basically what I said to her is exactly what you
heard up here. Interestingly Ross said that, the same
patterns that I had already used on her. I was like,
"Oh god.” But ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Oh, that's what you did ...
Brother Orion: Oh yeah.
Ross: to get her to come into the room?
Brother Orion: I _____ natural versus culturally
programmed woman, so, I also did the thing about her
shirt. I said, "I really like your shirt.” She was with a
guy at the time down the hall and the guy thought I
was talking to her so they're both responding to me.
But like he walked off and she stayed. So I walked
210
down and I said, I said I was doing a, doing a training
at a, at a seminar on hypnosis and seduction and that,
you know, a lot of women read things in COSMO
about relationships and now finally men are getting
on it and finding out about it. She was fascinated.
And when she got up here, was she fascinated?
Audience: Yeah
Brother Orion: Did anybody notice any physiological
changes?
Audience: Oh, yeah.
Brother Orion: What's that, bro?
Audience: Her lower lip was swelled ...
Brother Orion: Oh, yeah.
Audience: She was ... Comments from audience.
Brother Orion: That's what she was thinking.
?: Breathing heavy and quickly.
Brother Orion: Breathing heavy and quickly. And now
...
Audience: Breathing slow. Comments from audience
Brother Orion: Breathing heavy and slowly. Yeah, the
deep, deep ...
Audience: It was, the upper part of her neck was kind
of moving around like Jell-O _____ .
Brother Orion: Ooo, like her pulse?
Audience: Yeah
Brother Orion: You could see her pulse pounding.
Audience: And she started to swallow harder.
Brother Orion: Now guys, I, I didn't ...
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Oh god. I did it, I did it exactly as I
would have done it if we weren't in a seminar room
because it was real. Okay? And, and afterwards the
reason I left, I didn't, you know, ask her how intensely
she responded was because I followed her out the
room, I had to get her to sign the nondisclosure
agreement, you know, or Yates would have been on
me about it. And then of course just as a slight
afterthought, I had to get her phone number so we
could get together. So, I wasn't able to get her
response, but it was, it was the real thing. I mean,
that's how much I step on it. You know? Sorry if
anybody couldn't hear but I dropped my tonality way
down, I embed my commands pretty intensely and,
and she went with it. It's cool. So that was a lot of fun.
One of the things that I've had happening during the
break since then and, I guess at most of the seminars I
go to, ...
Ross: Do you need something to write with?
Brother Orion: some people ask me ... Where are the
tapes? Somebody ...
Ross: Oh, ...
Brother Orion: Somebody have the troubleshooters?
?: _____ .
Brother Orion: I, did they leave?
?: Yeah.
Ross: Troubleshooters tapes, tell them about them.
Brother Orion: They already left. Well, the guys have
been, me and Kamal, who's one of Ross' best students
and a good friend of mine, get asked questions a lot
of times during the breaks in the seminar. People want
to know, you know, how is it that you do what you
do, what have you learned, what lessons are there?
We decided rather than answering everybody's
questions again and again, we're going to make a
product, we're going to sit down and record
everything we've learned, you know, assuming that
people already know these patterns, assuming that
you know the patterns which I'm about to teach, you
already know the tonality, what an embedded
command is, you know, what a presupposition is,
these kinds of things, what anchoring is; which is
basically, you know, anchoring is simply when you
get someone into a state, like when you're really
excited about something, like, ah, for example, these
tapes, right? When you're really excited, when you're
really excited about something, you know? Maybe
you can remember a time in the past like, like Kim was
doing earlier, remembering a really intense state and
right before the very peak of it, you anchor it with a
sound, a touch, or something visual and that triggers
off the state like Pavlov ring a bell? So this is the
basic structure of anchoring and it's in the home, it's
in the Secrets of Speed Seduction Home studies
Workbook, which I'm going to be referring to in a
moment. So, those are, those are the troubleshooters
tapes. We recorded four tapes, high quality and it's all
neat. We sat there and it wasn't a seminar. We were
able to just sit down and pour our hearts out and say
everything that we've worked and we've got some
great patterns in there. Has anybody listened to those
tapes?
Ross: I love them. They're, I listened to them like three
times, laughed my ass off at what balls out seduction
211
masters you guys are.
Brother Orion: Cool. I love hearing that. That just
makes me glow.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You are, I'm serious. You are worthy to receive
the ROS, the Royal Order of Sargie.
Audience: Oooo, ...
Brother0rion: Cool. Anybody else have any quick
comments about them?
BREAK IN TAPE
Audience: I think that the, that the best tape really
focus or have you think about is, is your own
flexibility because, you know, oftentimes if there's
certain things that, that we all do, like we all might
learn, you know, love versus attraction and the
Discovery Channel, but the point being is you can
really, you can really do this thing with just about any
topic you've had to experience in your life and just as
kind of a pathological example, Brother Kamal talks
about using the same sort of process to make a
pattern out of a dead fish.
Brother Orion: yeah.
Audience: Which, which, which is, is, is really kind of,
you know, not very, not very sensual ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Brother Kamal is quite a wild man. He even
quotes squirrels. ”A squirrel said to me the other day,
" ...
Brother Orion: Yeah. And when he was in the Hawaii
seminar, he was just blowing the brothers away.
Flexibility is a great one. I forgot to say when I was
talking about introductions just having flexible
approaches. Like with this girl, I talked about her shirt,
I talked about how it was hypnotic, that was, I was
repeating what I said to her when I initially talked to
her to get her attention. So, I'm going to move on and,
I'm going, I'm going to get into the patterns of the
actual wording. This is all in the Secrets of Speed
Seduction Home Study Course Workbook where,
where the patterns are all down there word for word.
So I'm going to move through them a little quickly. I
don't want you guys to write it down, I want you to
listen to me, focus on what I'm saying and how I'm
saying it more than the words that I say. Focus on the
tonality that I use. You'll have the words, you have
the words in your notes. Focus on the way I embed
commands. I embed them differently than other
people. People have their own unique style, but focus
on the way I speak and maybe the response that you
get as you listen to it. Because I am a neuro -linguistic
hacker.
9: Yeah.
Brother Orion: That's right. I'm going for it all the way,
the deep states, quickly. I might start off the
beginning of a pattern, if I'm first talking to her, using
a more conversational tonality. But as quickly as
possible I'm going to go from pacing the speed that
she speaks and talks and thinks at to leading her into
the states of mind that I want her to go into very
rapidly. The core, as far as I'm concerned, pattern of
speed seduction is the instantaneous connection
pattern. It's the core because it creates the bond that
lets all the other things work. Okay? So, I'm going to
go into it night now and I'll tell you what. I'll tell you
what. I'm going to have Brother Kim come up and do
a, a value solicitation on her in a minute. And if you
don't mind, you can come up and I'll read these other
patterns t o you, that I'm not pretending. Is that okay?
Kim: Laughing. Yeah, that's fine.
Brother Orion: Okay.
Kim: _____ use the metronome.
Brother Orion: If we were doing it, if I was reading
these patterns to you outside of the room would that
be okay?
Kim: No.
Brother Orion: I didn't think so.
Brother Orion and Kim: Laughing
Kim: People have tried.
Brother Orion: I bet.
Kim: Tried.
Brother Orion: Once.
Kim: It wasn't a situation in Atlanta that I had to deal
with once, so yeah.
Ross: And they were dead meat.
Kim: What?
Ross: And they were dead meat.
Kim: He got yelled at a little bit. But he thanked me
later.
Ross: Her nickname is Shredder.
212
Brother Orion: And now he's the keeper of the Kim
McFarland, Mistress of Speed Seduction Fan Club,
right?
Kim: Oh god.
Brother Orion: Kim, have you ever felt an
instantaneous connection, like maybe as you were
there looking at them, and you started to listen
intently; it was like there was a cord of light going
from you to them? And as you, as that cord began to
glow with the warmth of the connection, maybe you
were even able to imagine a time in your future, say
six months from now, still feeling that sense of
overwhelming connection and looking back on today
as having been the start of it?
Ross: Now, he's going a little fast. Do it at the right
speed.
Brother Orion: Okay. I just know there's a lot of
material to go through.
Ross: I understand, but I don't want you to go
Brother Orion: Okay.
Ross: _____ , I want you to _____ .
Brother Orion: Okay. I'm going at the night, oh, okay.
Ross: Okay?
Brother Orion: All right.
Ross: I don't care what anyone ...
Brother Orion: I understand.
Ross: _____ .
Brother Orion: I understand. See, what I think is so
funny is how some people can just do that and let it
happen instantaneously. Cause for me, it takes longer.
But I do find that during the course of an evening, as
you start to get to know this person better, as you
start to really recognize those values and qualities in
them, that you hold so dearly for yourself, with me,
that's when you can make that connection and really
feel that growing bond. Okay? So, there are variations
on that in the workbook. That's page 43.
Ross: What I want you to do is value solicitation in
one ...
Brother Orion: I understand.
Ross: Okay?
Brother Orion: I got it. I'm going to do the value
solicitation next. And I'm going to get into pretty
quickly without talking a lot about why it's important.
But it does get very rapidly at the very deep values.
You can use the words, you can use the ideas and
you can leverage them.
Ross: _____ . Then you're doing value solicitation,
when you're doing value solicitation it's the fourth
doorway. It's asking questions that touch her, touch
at core level, she has to go into a deep trance state to
find the answers. Okay? Now, you do value
solicitation after you've gotten deep rapport and done
some of the other patterns. I wouldn't start out with it
if I were you. I know there's some people who teach
you to start out with it right away but again, I don't
know how what they do in the real world outside of
their seminar room.
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Okay? And I'm going to write down her
answers for you.
Brother Orion: Okay. I do want to say that I can
actually write down the answers while I'm doing it. A
lot of the times when she looks up or something, I'll
just sit and I'll write it down or if I'm doing a
handwriting analysis, I want to have, or I'm going to
write these down as soon as she's done, as soon as
I'm done talking with her, cause I want to remember
these. I want to remember these for a couple reasons.
I want to remember the values, the words that she
says, the rules that she has because I want to use
them later. After the conversation I want to be able to
list them and, and anchor them and more importantly,
I want to, I want to remember them so that I can fulfill
them, so that I can decide if I want to fulfill them.
?: I'm just wondering what, when you elicit the values,
are the words that you get once you listed the values
also similar to their personal trance words?
Brother Orion: They are oftentimes their personal
trance words, especially when they start to talk about
the subject of what's important to them in a
relationship. You're going to start getting lots of
personal trance words. You guys listen for them.
Listen for the personal trance words and, and I will
make a distinction between a quality in a person and a
value in a relationship.
Audience?: Can you explain what you mean by her
personal trance words?
Brother Orion: These are the words that have special
meaning for her, that she will put a special meaning
on, that have a real punch to them, an emotional
intensity. And so when you use them back to her,
especially if you say them the same way, you're going
to re-evoke that emotional intensity and you can
leverage it. You can do, you can move them in
213
different directions and create new combinations.
Ross: Sometimes when you're doing the pattern, a
woman will interrupt you and say, "Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, destiny, da da da da da da da, energy,
blah, blah, blah blah, passion.” She'll give you her,
now what words did she say? Destiny, energy and
passion. They're words that mean something to her.
I'm sorry. Go for it. Brother Orion: Okay. So you, I
might, you know, I might start off talking to someone
about "Have you ever felt an incredible connection,
like maybe as you were there, really listening and
feeling that sense that you were just meant to be
together, that somehow destiny brought you
together, feeling that bond, that cord ...” and talking
about other things, getting her more connected and
then, later on, start to ask her about, "You know, I
think relate, I think that people make a big mistake in
relationships when they ...”
Kim: Hmmm
Brother Orion: " ... think about what's important to
them. They don't realize that, they don't, a lot of
people don't even think about what's important to
them in a relationship. And when they do, they
confuse a quality in a person with a value in a
relationship.” Now, I'm doing this a little bit differently
than the wording in the book, but it's basically the,
the important part is to ask her the question, word for
word, don't change this, "What's important to you in
a relationship?"
Ross: Not "Why are relationships important?" but
"What's important to you in a relationship?"
Brother Orion: I've found those key words, when you
stick to them, really keep you focused. The wording
that builds up to it is also important and there is
wording, you know, word for word, in the
relationship, I mean, in the book, about relate, in, in
the home study workbook about the pattern that
gives you a nice setup for it.
Audience: What page?
Brother Orion: On page 56, but the basic thing that
you're going for and it's called total fulfillment in a
relationship, so this is for, for especially, you know,
it's a good thing to look at for guys who are like, you
know, you're just going to use this like, like our man
here to hook up with three women in one night. You
know? But you know, you can find that one special
person and hook up for a relationship.
Yates: This is the end of Side 18 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
214
Tape 10 – Side 1
Yates: Welcome to Side 19 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
Brother Orion: Especially when you can fulfill them
and really keep them happy.
Kim: But if you use those to get someone and they
come after you and you don't really mean it, you
better watch Out, cause they will track you down.
There have been cases of people being attacked with
knives. So you better mean it. If you don't mean it, use
one of Mark's patterns.
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: Cause it does a completely different thing. You
don't want someone to feel an incredible connection if
you don't really want to.
Brother Orion: Right. Well, I mean, there's ...
Kim: You know?
Brother Orion: Yeah, that's right.
?: _____ .
Kim: There are other patterns
Ross: Tell them the leg story.
Kim: to use in that case.
Ross: Tell the leg story very rapidly.
Kim: No, uh uh, it's not appropriate, I don't think it fits
in right now, but ...
Ross: Okay.
Kim: No, I'm just saying, I mean, if you don't mean it,
don't do it because there are other ways to do it. Mark
does it all the time. Or used to.
Brother Orion: It's also what you, what you do with
the values when you have them and, and what, how
much respect, you know, you treat the person in the
relationship with. I don't think just eliciting the values
is going to get people chasing you with knives, but ...
Kim: Not just eliciting, but ...
Brother Orion: Right, it's ...
Kim: ... once you've elicited and ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: ... if you decide to convince all them and you
don't ...
Brother Orion: Exactly.
Kim: ... and you respect all of them and you don't,
then there's a problem then.
Brother Orion: Right, right, right.
Kim: So you just have to be careful how you use
them. So, ...
Brother Orion: Right. So you obviously have some
pretty strong ideas about what's important to you in a
relationship. I'm sure there's ...
Kim: Pretty strong ideas about everything.
Brother Orion: Pretty strong ideas about everything.
Kim: Laughing
Brother Orion: Yeah, I can tell. I can tell. Absolutely.
Absolutely. And, and it's something you've thought a
lot about.
Kim: Sometimes I do, but it changes a lot, too.
Brother Orion: Okay. Okay, it does change a lot and
it's important to be, to be flexible and in ...
Kim: Of course.
Brother Orion: Yeah. So if I were to ask you, "What's
important to you about a relationship" what might
you tell me?
Kim: Let's see. Respect.
Brother Orion: Respect. I agree with you. I think
respect, that's tremendously important. It really is one
of the, one of the keys for me. And like Ross says a
lot of the time, you know, people define respect in
different ways. So, ...
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: For some people, respect is that
they're, that they always open doors for you, they
always buy you dinner, but for other people ...
Kim: Because that's nice ...
Brother Orion: ... respect is this. Yeah, it's nice, it's
nice, but that's not, might not be what respect is.
Kim: No. No it's not.
Brother Orion: For me, respect is when people follow
through, when people, you know, are going to say
they're going to do something and they don't, it really
pisses me off and, and it violates. my personal sense
of respect. So what does a person have to do in order
for you, and I'm getting the rules for the value. What,
215
what does a person have to do in order for you to
experience respect with this person because I know
with me, that's an important value to have.
Kim: Experience respect. They can't be
condescending.
Brother Orion: Right. They can't be condescending.
Kim: They have to treat me as an equal.
Brother Orion: Okay. What we got two, we got two
there. We got the value for what must not happen ...
Kim: Uh huh
Ross: The rule for what must ...
Brother Orion: The rule for what must not happen and
the rule for what must happen, all in one ...
Kim: Those are pieces of it, yeah.
Brother Orion: Those are pieces of it.
Kim: I don't even, I mean, I, those are parts, yeah.
Brother Orion: Those are parts? Well, are those the
major part or are there other small parts?
Kim: Ummm.
Brother Orion: Or are there other bigger parts? Like
what's the, what's the, if you were ...
Kim: Treating me as an equal is very important, so
that's why ...
Brother Orion: Treating you as an equal is important.
You don't want someone looking down on it.
Kim: Never.
Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Kim: I'd shred them.
Brother Orion: Right. Absolutely.
Kim: Okay.
Brother 0rion: Okay. So respect is very important.
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: And, and you know, and, well let me
ask you, when someone, how do you know that
someone's treating you like an equal?
Ross: Did you hear the question? How do you know
that somebody's treating you like an equal?
Brother Orion: Is that one, I want to clarify that.
Kim: They respect my opinion, they want my opinion,
they look at it as something that is useful to them ...
Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: That would, things like that.
Brother Orion: Good. They see your opinion as being
useful. So they value your brains as well as your
beauty. You didn't say that. That's not, you know,
that, it's a different way of saying it, but it's like, you
know, they, they do respect your value, your
opinions ...
Kim: My intelligence, my opinions ...
Brother Orion: Yeah. Yeah, and they take ...
Kim: My talents, my skills, all that.
Brother Orion: Good.
Kim: It's very important.
Brother Orion: Excellent, excellent. So that they're, that
they are able to really appreciate your values, your
skills, ...
Kim: Uh huh.
Ross: Now what does that imply that somebody has
to do? They have to do what with it then?
Brother Orion: They have to listen, ...
Kim: Uh huh.
Ross: They better listen.
Brother Orion: They better listen, right, to what, to
what she's saying and appreciate it. You know? This
is not somebody who you, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, honey,
okay, but I'm going to do something else.” No.
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: You want somebody to listen to every
word ...
Kim: Yeah.
Brother Orion: and to appreciate ...
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: ... your, your skills ...
Kim: Yeah.
Brother Orion: ... and your ability and your opinion.
Kim: Yeah, and at least if I give an opinion, they don't
have to necessarily do it, but they at least have to
take it into consideration and look at it as valid.
Brother Orion: Right, right. And, and to be
considerate of your, of your opinion and to respect
that.
216
Kim: Uh huh. And respect my opinion, yes.
Brother Orion: Let me, I just want to stop here for a
second. Now, did anybody hear what I was doing
here? I was repeating back basically word for word
what You said.
Kim: Uh huh. Brother Orion: I wasn't adding my own
words, I wasn't re-interpreted, I wasn't active
listening, I mean, what a crock. You know? That's not
respecting someone's opinion, is it, if you rephrase
their opinion and so you, so what you really mean ...
Kim: Yeah, that's not.
Brother Orion: if you want somebody ...
Kim: I'd say, "No, what I really mean is what I said.”
Brother Orion: Exactly. And what I want to ask you is
when I repeat back your words to you, does it feel like
I'm doing something artificial, like I'm ... ?
Kim: No.
Brother Orion: No, not at all. Even though you know
exactly what I'm doing. You know, ...
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: ... you train this stuff.
Kim: Yeah.
Brother Orion: Okay.
Kim: Familiar.
Brother Orion: Let me, let me finish _____ this.
What else is important to your relationship?
Ross: Okay. So the questions are "What's important
to You in a relationship, how do you, " when she
names it, you say, "How do you know when you're
getting that, how do you know if someone is giving
you that?"
Brother Orion: Right. And what must not happen.
Ross: And why are you as king that? So you can find
out what behaviors you need to give her. So the first
thing that you're determining what it is she wants,
then you're determining how specifically she needs to
get it, to know she's getting it. Very good. _____
what else is there?
Brother Orion: What else is important to you in a
relationship?
Kim: Consideration.
Brother Orion: Consideration.
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: Yeah. Absolutely. And how do you
know when someone's being considerate of you?
Kim: Ummm
Brother Orion: And has that consideration?
Kim: That if something they're doing affects me or
even a time that they'll at least call to tell me what's
going on, ...
Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: Be respectful of, like say if they, I know that
they're getting home at a certain time ...
Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: ... and they know that I know and I might be
calling or something. And they're out five hours later
...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: I'll be worried if they don't call me.
Brother Orion: Sure, sure.
Kim: That they call me. Just, just considerate, just that
...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: They're considerate of my feelings, ...
Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: and think about how things will affect me ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: ... that they do.
Brother Orion: Right. How do you know when
someone's being considerate of your feelings?
Kim: That's mostly just, I guess, respecting my
feelings, acknowledging them, not saying that, "Oh,
you shouldn't feel this way.” Well, no, I should feel
this way.
Brother Orion: So, acknowledging your feelings.
Kim: Acknowledging that I feel that way, maybe
supporting, be supportive.
Ross: Now, sometimes what'll happen is you'll get
values that are really close, so, like she said, respect
and consideration. To me they sound really close, so
may I, if I may, ooooo (ringing in background).
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Bad thing, bad thing. If I, if I were to step in and
say, "What's, what's the difference between respect
and consideration, cause I'm confused here frankly,
217
what is the difference?"
Kim: Respect is just treating me as an equal, we're on
par.
Ross: Uh huh.
Kim: Okay? Consideration is when they're doing
things even when we're not together if they think it'll
affect me in some way. At least giving me a call to
say, "Hey, honey, I'm not dead, I've just been,
decided to hang out with some friends for a few
hours.”
Ross: So consideration has to do with those
behaviors that, that take place when the person is not
in your presence?
Kim: And. well, in my presence, too.
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: You know, I mean it, but just ...
Brother Orion: Well, this is the difference that I see
happening.
Ross: Okay.
Brother Orion: Is that, is that respect is more about
somebody, when you have an opinion, when you
have an idea ...
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: ... or skill and you express it ... Kim: Uh
huh.
Brother Orion: ... the people say, "That's valuable.”
Kim: Yeah.
Brother Orion: Consideration is when you have a
feeling, an emotional state, people say,
Ross: Very good.
Brother Orion: "That's important.”
Ross: It's a very good ...
Brother Orion: That your, your ...
Kim: That's part of it, yeah.
Brother Orion: ... feelings are important ...
Kim: That's ...
Brother Orion: ... but, but even ...
Kim: _____ .
Brother Orion: ... more importantly, that people don't
ignore your feelings, especially ...
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: ... when they're not around you, that
they don't think ...
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: ...” Whatever, I'm away from her, she'll
be fine on her own.” That you want people ...
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: ... to touch, to touch bases with you ...
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: To give you a call.
Kim: And if they say that I'm going to call, they'd
better call.
Brother Orion: They'd better call.
Kim: When they said they did.
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Kim: Or else I will scream at them.
Brother Orion: Well let me, let me ask _____ , let me a
different, a different way here. This is the idea of a
hierarchy of values SO that if you want to go up one
you might choose one of, of, you know, if there's one
that's interesting to you, like, I think, I think
consideration sounds like an interesting one. If I were
to ask you what's important to you about
consideration, what might you tell me?
Kim: What do you mean?
Brother Orion: Well. what I'm trying to get is, is, I'll
just tell you this structure here, is that I'm trying to
get a higher value. Well. consideration is important to
you, right?
Kim: Yeah.
Brother Orion: And when you're in a relationship that
has consideration, you know, you enjoy that, you
want to be ...
Kim: Well, I'm also more aware of what is missing
when you're in a relationship ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: Of course, respect is always as the forefront
because that's ...
Brother Orion: Ahhh.
Kim: Not because it's missing ever but because it's
very, just extremely important to me.
Brother Orion: It is important to use that.
Kim: But when something that people, since I'm in a
218
relationship, I guess, ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: ... things become more obvious in my forefront
when ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: ... they're not quite there ...
Brother Orion: Yeah, yeah.
Kim: or they're coming, yeah.
Brother Orion: Yeah. Absolutely.
Kim: So that's why consideration ...
Brother Orion: Absolutely. And, and of course I'm
trying to be, you know, trying to be, obviously get to
things that are both you know, things that you want
to have and things that you ...
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: ... you know, don't want to have as
well.
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: Let me ask you. What's important to
you about respect?
Kim: What's important to me about respect?
Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: What do you mean then?
Ross: Well, another way to put it, if I may, another
way to ask the question is, "What does having
respect ...”
Brother Orion: Allow you to experience.
Ross: " ... allow you to experience? When you're with
someone and you know you're being respected,
what's that ...”
Kim: Hmmm, what's it allow me to experience?
Ross: " ... allow you to experience?"
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: Umm, all I can think of is like total respected.
Brother Orion: Respected.
Kim: But I feel cared for of course.
Brother Orion: If you ...
Ross: _____ cared for.
Brother Orion: Cause respect could be a top value.
It could be for her.
Kim: It's very, it's very high.
Brother Orion: It's very high. But we can get one
higher. We can get ...
Kim: Maybe, let's see.
Brother Orion: We can get ...
Kim: What does respect allow me to feel?
Brother Orion: Or what's important to you about
respect?
Kim: Experience. Umm, ...
Brother Orion: Could be feeling cared for ...
Kim: It's pretty high up there.
Brother Orion: Yeah. Could it be feeling cared for?
Kim: Kind of, yeah.
Brother Orion: Kind of, yeah.
Kim: But it's also, I guess, no, no, it's more like respect
is just very important to me.
Brother Orion: Very important, yeah.
Kim: Laughing
Brother Orion: Well, let me ask you a question. Let,
can you remember a time when you felt really, really
cared for?
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: Was it because you felt respected?
Kim: No.
Brother Orion: Okay.
Kim: Laughing
Ross: My guess is if someone didn't respect her, they
wouldn't even get close enough to get a chance to
show that ...
Kim: That's very true.
Brother Orion: That's what I'm trying to say. That's
what I'm trying to say. I'm, what I'm trying to say is in
order for you to feel cared for you need to feel
respected.
Kim: No. In order for me to let someone close enough
for me to care about them, they'd better respect me.
Ross: Yeah.
Brother Orion: Okay. Now we're talking about caring
about other people rather than ...
219
Kim: Respect is this.
Brother Orion: feeling _____ yourself.
Kim: They'd better respect me. If someone doesn't
think I'm smart, someone doesn't respect my opinions,
they're out of there.
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Oh, man.
Brother Orion: Okay.
Kim: As a friend ...
Brother Orion: Okay, well, I'm going to respect
Kim: ... or a lover ...
Brother Orion: ... your opinions.
Kim: ... or anything, that's it.
Brother Orion: Laughing
Kim: I, I don't let people near me who don't, because
that's, it is disrespectful and it doesn't show any, any,
it doesn't show any care for me or any respect.
Brother Orion: Okay.
Kim: Respect, though, is the thing.
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: That's it.
Brother Orion: Well, let me, let me put it this way. I
think, I mean, you have thought a lot about, about
values. Maybe not directly, but in certain ways you
have thought about it a lot.
Kim: Well, I have.
Brother Orion: You've realized ...
Kim: But it's been a while.
Brother Orion: ... that respect is a real important one to
you. A lot of people that you do this to will give you
lower values. Feeling good, or something like that. Or,
or being comfortable. Well, when you ask them,
"What's important to you about being comfortable?"
"Oh, it allows me to feel loved.” You can get higher
values. But a lot of times, you know, in the original
structure of this, the structure in the workbook, is you
go across, laterally. You go for values ...
Kim: Okay.
Brother Orion: ... that are at the same level. Respect.
Kim: Well closeness is also important ...
Brother Orion: Closeness.
Kim: Being close.
Brother Orion: Okay. If I were to ask you ...
Kim: Feeling closeness, ...
Brother Orion: what else is important to you,
Kim: ... being close to someone.
Brother Orion: you'd tell me of feeling close to
someone.
Kim: Uh huh, yeah.
Brother Orion: And what has to happen in order for
you to feel close to someone?
Kim: There has to be physical affection.
Brother Orion: Physical affection. Yeah, yeah. And
you're not just referring to, well, I want to know ...
Kim: Not just sex. Brother Orion: Obviously. Not your
sexuality, maybe sensual touch, but also ...
Kim: Just touch.
Brother Orion: ... reassuring touch.
Kim: Yeah.
Brother Orion: Yeah, touch.
Kim: Touch.
Brother Orion: And you're a massage therapist as
well.
Kim: Yes, I'm a massage therapist.
Brother Orion: And that, that might connect to that.
Yeah, yeah. I know how that feels to, to really ...
Kim: It's very reassuring to be, you know, that they
care about you, to be touched. It's very reassuring.
Brother Orion: I agree.
Ross: Ile word reassuring.
Brother Orion: I just reached over and touched her.
Ross: Listen to this. We've got respect, we've got
closeness, we've got reassurance, we've got being
cared for.
Kim: Reassurance is quickly dropping, but of course,
as you guys know, I date an NLPer, so everything
changes all the time.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion & Audience: Laughter
Kim: That, that makes it a little different.
Brother Orion: Cool, cool. Well, well, how do you, you
220
know, how many, how do you, I want to get the
negative rule here, too, so how do you know that, that
someone, that you can't, that you're with the kind of
person you don't feel that closeness with? What must
never happen for you to have closeness?
Kim: What must never happen? Brother Orion: Uh
huh.
Kim: I can't think of something that can never happen
cause ...
Brother Orion: Well, well if somebody went for a long
time without ever touching you for some reason.
Kim: Oh, you mean, well, well, yeah, I wouldn't feel
close to them if they didn't touch me ever.
Brother Orion: Yeah, absolutely.
Kim: But there are periods where they can go through
that but it comes and goes, the closeness comes and
goes sometimes in a relationship.
Ross: Yeah, ...
Brother Orion: Cool.
Ross: _____ . You'll know, physical affection is very
important to her. You will, we're not dramatically
involved, but we're still very huggie.
Brother Orion: Right. Yeah.
Kim: Physical affection is very important to me, yeah.
Ross: _____ .
Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Ross: _____ get disgusted by it.
Brother Orion: Absolutely. Now it's interesting
because ...
Audience: Laughter
?: Absolutely right.
Kim: Do you want me to start giving you lower values
so you can elicit higher ones?
Brother Orion: No, no, no. This is what I wanted. This
is absolutely what I wanted.
Kim: Okay.
Brother Orion: I, I have three of your highest values
by asking what's important to you about a
relationship, okay? That's the first question. ”What's
important to you about a relationship?"
Ross: What's important to you in a relationship?
Brother Orion: "What's important to you in a
relationship?" "What's important to you in a
relationship? How do you know when you have it?
What must never happen?" Right? And then I can
either ask, "What else is important to you about, in a
relationship?" Or I can ask you, "What's important to
you about that?" to get a h igher value. So I've gotten
three values from you.
Kim: He had a question.
Brother Orion: Okay, I'm going, I'm going to answer
them ...
Kim: You're gong to answer them later? Okay.
Brother Orion: ... after I finish this, this particular
pattern because I do want to move through this. So I,
we've got three very important values here to you.
And, and I, I imagine that when you think about the
ideal relationship, the kind of person that you really
want to enjoy that kind of closeness with ...
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: ... and feel that kind of touch, that
physical touch that let's you just know that, you
know, you can feel close with someone, it's cause ...
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: ... they respect you. It's because they
respect not just, you know, the physical contact but
also that you have contributions to make, that you
have opinions to give, skills to share.
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: Abilities, you know, and it's what
allows you to really, you know, realize that someone
is considerate of you. That even, you know, even
when you have that, when they have that closeness
and that touch and also when you're away from them,
that they're still considerate enough to, to keep in
touch with you. Right? Even if they can't touch you,
they'll keep in touch with you. And they'll be
considerate of ...
Kim: Think about me.
Brother Orion: ... the way you feel.
Kim: Yeah.
Brother Orion: And they'll think about you. And when
you think about the ideal relationship and how much,
you know, how much closer you feel to someone
when you experience all those values, can you feel
that closeness as something you really want to
experience?
Kim: Now, does that feel right to you?
221
Brother Orion: Yes, it does.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: So, so ...
Kim: yeah.
Brother Orion: What I, what I, if any of you, if any of
you didn't see that, I, I, I went through, I listed the
values, I, her eyes were big and wide, and, and I
reached over and anchored it and "feel that" is an
ambiguity. Can you feel that? And it was, it was great.
I was working on a number of different levels cause
she loves the closeness, she loves the touching, and
because I was anchoring it and I was also, you know,
basically, putting, putting it all together and linking it
tome. Okay?
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: ... solicitation here and you'll learn it all. Okay?
Kim: Yes.
Ross: And we're going to have fun, there's going to
be no tears, it's all going to be good stuff, okay?
Kim: I'm in a good mood today.
Ross: Good, I'm glad. She was kind of, had some fun
chemicals that her body had produced and I wanted
to inject myself
?: Could you move forward just a little bit so she
could turn the chair just a little _____ .
Ross: No. Sure, actually, that's not a bad suggestion
actually. All right. What we're going to do is, we're
going to continue to learn here together and I'm going
to show you the questions. By the way, this is word
for word in your workbooks. The point here is not to
try and memorize but see It in action. So put your
notes down cause you have it word for word. Amy, I
mean Kathleen, Kathleen. We're working with Brother
Kathleen. We met at a party, we're talking, we feel a
rapport, you like me, I'm a bright guy, we're just
having fun, all right? I'd say something like, "You
know, I was reading the mo st interesting book on
relationships. It was talking about how so many
people just charge right into one without ever really
pausing to consider what it is that would really please
them, what it is they really want. Cause I think there's
a difference between what people are just to on the
one hand and what it is they really want on the other.
So, it just had some interesting questions in there
about if you ask yourself these questions, it'll help
you really find a better relationship and understand
the pers on you're with, so you're probably not the
kind of person who'd be interested in hearing what
these questions are. But, you know, well, I hope you'll
indulge me anyway cause I'd really like to talk to
someone about this. It really excited me. So, I'm just
curious. If I were to start, the question they said to
ask is, to start off asking, what's important to you in a
relationship? So if I were to say to you ...” Hear the
weasel phrase? "What's important to you in a
relationship? What would you say?"
Kathleen: Urn, friendship.
Ross: Friendship. Wow, yeah. Now the thing is I have
no idea what she means by that.
Kathleen: That's pretty broad.
Ross: It's very broad, so I'm going to start narrowing
it and I'm going to go, "Well, well, let me ask you
something.” That's so broad then instead of saying,
"How do you know when you have friendship?" I'll
say, "Well, well, " what I will say, "What do you
mean? How do you know when, when you're
experiencing friendship with someone? What has to
happen in order for you to know you have friendship
with someone?"
Kathleen: There's a sense of trust there.
Ross: A sense of trust. Okay. Now I've heard the real
one. So I said to her, "How do you know when you
have, what has to happen for you to know when you
have friendship with someone?" She said, "There's a
sense of trust.” Okay? And I, my belief is that trust is
a really powerful one. So I'm going to run with that. I'll
go, "Trust. You know, I agree with you. And, and I'll
just share with you that if I don't trust someone,
there's nothing I can have with them; friendship,
relationship, anything. It just, maybe they get to the
level of acquaintance and that's it. You know what I
mean? So, I'm just curious. For me, to know that I
have trust with someone is they keep my secrets, they
don't reveal what I tell them not to, and they do what
they say they're going to do. I'm just curious. What
has to happen, what has to happen, what to has to
happen ...” I'm finding out her rule now. Her value is
trust, now the rule is going to tell me what behavior
she needs to see and what behavior she must never
see. ”What has to happen in order for you to know
you have trust with someone?"
Kathleen: I'd probably agree with your second point.
They have to keep their word.
Ross: "Keep their word. Now I'm curious. Why I
asking this, I'm really getting curious. When you say
222
keep their word, do you mean all the time, 100 percent
of the time?"
Kathleen: Urn, it depends on how important the
situation is that can, they can probably vary and be
somewhat flexible.
Ross: "Hmmm. But it is important that people keep
their word and I agree with you. Cause otherwise,
what's the point? I mean, you might as well be by
yourself if people aren't going to do, follow through.
Don't you think?"
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Ross: "I mean, you may as well be all on your own. So
there's no point unless they do keep their word and I
agree with you. Well, that's real good. Let me ask you
something else. I'll share with you. I'm just sharing,
one of the things that's important to me in a
relationship is mutual fun, really enjoying the person's
company.” I'm just trying to prime the pump a little bit
here. ”So I'm curious, cause they said in this book I
read that you want to find at least three or four what
they call values, and so far I know that friendship and
trust are important to you. And I agree. What else is
important to you in a relationship?"
Kathleen: Um, that they lead an active life.
Ross: "That they lead an active life.” Now that really
is not a value in a relationship. She's describing
something, a quality about the person.
Now I want to chunk up a little bit, find out what that
does for her. Okay, so I'll say, "Well, having an active
life, when you're with someone who has an active life,
what does that allow you to experience?"
Kathleen: I think like a fulfillment because you can
experience a lot of new things with them ...
Ross: "Ah, so it allows you to experience new things
with them?"
Kathleen: Yeah.
Ross: "When you experience new things with people,
what does that allo w you to, what's, what emotion
does that allow you to feel, what does it allow you to
have when you experience new things with people? If
you could put ...”
Kathleen: Like adventure and fun.
Ross: "Adventure and fun.” So now we have another
value. The value is, twin value, it's adventure and fun.
So she started out by saying, "It's important to be
with someone who has an active lifestyle.” That
doesn't tell me what the value is. It just tells me what
the person is doing, it doesn't tell me whether that
does for her. Okay? It's like saying sandwich instead
of nutrition. Sandwich is the means, the value is
nutrition. Okay? "So what were you saying? What
was it? Fun and, fun and what? Adventure?"
Kathleen: Yeah.
Ross: "I've got to tell you. You know, I agree with you
because, otherwise I could watch Ren and Stimpy all
day, you know?"
Kathleen & Audience: Laughter
Ross: "And eat my cheesy poofs.” Okay? "Well, well,
you know, this book, it's kind of a fruity book. I don't
know if I believe it or not. We probably shouldn't talk
about this. You're not interested are you?"
Kathleen: Yeah, I'm interested.
Ross: "Yeah, I'm interested. Well, this book was
saying if you really want to understand someone, get
four of these values. Okay? So, besides trust and, and
friendship and fun and adventure, ...” Well fulfillment
was really her stumbling way of trying to say fun and
adventure. ”What, what else is important to you in a
relationship?"
Kathleen: Um ...
Ross: I had to, by the way, did you have any of the
passion fruit punch?
Kathleen: Oh, ...
Audience: Laughter
Kathleen: Gee, I don't know. _____ passion.
Ross: Oh ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: No, is it important to you?
Kathleen: Oh yes.
Ross: "Oh yes. Umm. So, passion ...”
Audience: Laughter
?: Is it a psychic exp erience _____ .
Ross: "Passion is important to you.” By the way, I
have an anchor I've set on, on Kathleen all weekend.
Whenever I talked about something sexual or
something like that, I'd go _____ .
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Does the anchor work?
Kathleen: Well, yeah. I mean it reminds me of that.
223
Ross: Oh yeah. I know.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Everyone's going to be walking up going
_____ .
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's going to be a roomful of fucking gophers.
For those of you a home, the anchor is biting my lip
with my upper teeth. Now we got a bunch of gophers.
Some of you are going to try and reverse it and go
_____ .
Kathleen & Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Well, so passion's important to you. Well let
me ask you a question. What has to happen in o rder
for you to experience passion, Kathleen?" Hear the
command?
Kathleen: Well ...
Ross: I'm going to turn on the projector. No. Well,
look where she looks. Well ...
Kathleen: I mean, there's one obvious answer.
Ross: Is there ...
Kathleen: Which would be like sex, but ...
Ross: "Sex.”
?: I like sex.
Ross: "You like sex.”
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: She just said she likes sex.
Kathleen: But it doesn't just have to be sex. It could, it
could be something like just if they have emotions
and they're not afraid to express them.
Ross: "Okay. So someone, I'm willing to bet that
someone's who's expressive in all ways allows you to
experience passion.”
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Ross: "So being with someone who's expressive
allows her to experience passion. You know, you've
told me so much about yourself, I must say that in
order for me to experience passion, it has to do with
rubber suits.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: "No, I think passion is a
great thing. l agree with you. I mean, wow. So, so, let
me ask you a question now. So, is there, I'm just
curious, this is my own way to clarify cause I don't
know. Is there a difference between friendship and
trust?"
Kathleen: Yeah.
Ross: "Well, can you tell me what that difference is?
Cause I'm curious. I'm not playing with you guys, I
don't know what she means, if there is a difference.”
Kathleen: There is something, I trying to figure out
how to put it, express it. Friendship is like a type of
relationship I guess. And trust is like more of a quality
...
Ross: Okay. So I would say her first ...
Kathleen: It's like a, more of a _____ .
Ross: Her first answer is really not a value in a
relationship. She's talking about a certain kind of
relationship. So I'd strike that one off. Yeah, I'd strike
off friendship. ”So let me ask you a question. In
addition to trust, fun and adventure and passion,
what else is important to you in a relationship? By the
way, it's fun that we're mutually learning together
tonight, isn't it?"
Kathleen: Yeah, and I keep wanting to say qualities
about p eople.
Ross: Well go ahead and say the quality and I'll help
you chunk up. Go, what's ...
Kathleen: Well, the one I've said before like, like that
they're intelligent.
Ross: "Intelligent. Okay. When you're with, " so she's
not getting me, do you understand the distinction
between a quality in a person and a value in a
relationship? A quality would be like intelligent,
daring, handsome, sexy, fun, okay? And, and the
value is what being with someone like that allows her
to experience inside. So when you're with someone
who's intelligent, what does it allow you to
experience?
Kathleen: Intellectual stimulation.
Ross: "Intellectual stimulation.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: "Intellectual stimulation.
Ah hah.”
Audience: It's a value?
Ross: For her it is, yeah. Stimulation, intellectual
stimulation, wow. There's a spot in the brain called the
bee spot.
Audience: laughter
Ross: It's up there, huh? You touched it. ”What
would it be like if every time you touched that spot
224
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Now, she knows what I'm doing but it's still
working. ”Well, I think that's good. You know, now
this book said something really fruity. I mean, I don't
believe it myself, but I just had to share it with you.
This book said that people actually put these values
in a certain and to find out this book said you should
ask, " what am I doing there?
Audience: Comments from audience
Ross: "This book said you should ask, of those
values, of trust, fun and adventure, passion, and
intellectual stimulation, which one must you
absolutely have to have, which is the most important,
which one would you absolutely not be able to do
without in a relationship of all of those?"
Kathleen: Passion.
Ross: "Passion. Oh yeah.” Watch out for these
Kansas girls. Okay. ”Passion. So, of fun and
adventure, trust and intellectual stimulation, which
one of those would you have to have? Fun and
adventure, trust, intellectual stimulation.”
Kathleen: Probably fun and adventure.
Ross: "Fun and adventure. Ummm.” We're learning a
lot about her values. Okay. ”Of trust and intellectual
stimulation ...”
Kathleen: Trust.
Ross: "Trust.” Boy, she shut me down fast there. ”So
now this book said something really interesting. This
book said if you name those four values all in a row,
people go into a massive pleasure state. I don't
believe it myself But according to the book, if I were
to say to you, you know, maybe what you're really
looking for, what would really fulfill you is a special
relationship. A relationship based on passion, fun
and adventure, trust and intellectual stimulation. Can
you feel that?"
Kathleen & Audience: Laughter
Ross: "Would it be something you'd like to create an
opening for?"
Kathleen: Oh yeah.
Ross: "And the interesting thing about creating
openings for things, openings to move in completely
new directions, is it's not enough ...” Now, okay. Do
you get the point?
Audience: Uh huh
Ross: Now, Amy's told us a lot about yourself, herself
One of the things I can generally say about Amy is ...
Audience: Kathleen.
Ross: Kathleen, Kathleen. We can edit out her name.
Okay. Kathleen has told us a lot about herself. One of
the things that Kathleen has told, I'm sorry, you're not
my servant, I'll do it myself One of the things that
Kathleen has told us about herself is Kathleen does
not want to be bored. Kathleen really seeks adventure
and excitement and if you bore her, boy, you're going
to be out of there right fast. Uh huh, uh huh. Right?
?: She will be out of there.
Ross: She will be out of there right fast.
Kathleen: I will run screaming.
Ross: "You will run screaming.”
?: Like a fucking _____ , out the door.
Ross: Now let me, let me deal with something else
with you. ”I know it's also very important to you in
your strategy for looking for someone that you find
someone who's really compatible right away. But the
challenge with that is compatible people may not be
terribly exciting. Maybe the most exciting thing is to
meet someone who's on your level and yet different
enough to lead you into new ways of excitement. So
maybe the process you've been using to look for that
person, the sort for them, is doing the very thing that
would stop you from finding someone who would
fulfill you much greater. So maybe the thing to think
about is to change your process and that's easy.” So,
she's done a great job. Give her a big hand.
Audience: Applause.
BREAK IN TAPE
Brother Orion: ... any of the, you know, other patterns
_____ you know, when I was doing like, like when
we were in Palo Alto, but at a, at, the first thing we did
when we were out in the hall and I started talking to
you and you hadn't seen this pattern yet. So it was
the way, you knew a little bit about the patterns,
instantaneous connection, but you hadn't seen this
yet. So it was my way to get to know you better
without, you know what I mean, doing something that
you would have recognized. And passion, fun and
adventure, trust and intellectual stimulation, cool,
cool. And you're able to feel really comfortable in
front of a group of people. That's nice, too. And what
I want to talk about is when I did the instantaneous
225
connection pattern with Kim up here before, I was
reading it out of the book. I have it memorized, but it's
memorized a little bit differently. Same thing with the
blamo pattern. And I'm not going to read it out of the
book. It's in there. I think it's page 59 and you can
read it word for word. It's almost the identical
structure to the way I read, but I want to do it more
natural, my own way. These patterns change, but I
have memorized it word for word from an earlier
version of it. So, the first thing you want to do is you
want to create comfort and a sense of, you know, that
you feel really comfortable, using fluff talk or
whatever it is that allows you, for all your own
reasons, to feel comfortable. And then the next thing
that you want to do is you want talk about an
instantaneous connection. And one of the things that
you do here, you can do here, you can, the whole
pattern of the blamo bring together a lot about of
what we've been talking about and it also moves from
being general to being specific and personal. ”So, you
know, I was talking to a friend of mine and she was
reading an article in PLAYBOY ...” Okay, maybe it
wasn't PLAYBOY.” She was reading an article in some
woman's magazine talking about the way that people
feel incredible connections. The way that with some
people, you know, just don't connect, but with other
people you feel almost like you were meant to know
them. Like if it's destiny. But some people say that it's
almost like there's a cord of light there, like you feel an
energy, the warmth, a cord of blue light, or it's almost
as if you just feel like as you talk to this person and
feel so comfortable, like you're meant to be together,
you can even imagine a time in the future, say months
from now, still feeling that wonderful sense of
connection that you deserve to feel it, and looking
back on this moment as having been the start of it.
Now, with me, I think being able to feel that kind of a
connection is such an incredible thing to experience
and it makes me think that, you know, as my friend
was telling me, she thinks things happen in a certain
way in your mind.” Now I'm going to talk a little bit
about the structure of experience. ”You know, they
don't just happen like all of a sudden, you know?
Connection is there. You actually go through the
process, you feel like you're, you know, beginning to
get that, to know this person better, beginning to feel
that powerful connection, see that cord of light,
Things in your mind happen in a certain way. Like, for
example, I was, I was reading an article in a
psychology magazine about the way that certain
things in our environment trigger off certain states of
mind. And it's interesting how people perceive things
in different ways. Like, do you like to ride roller
coas ters?"
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: "Uh huh. You do like roller coasters. I
went, I went and rode the most amazing roller coaster
last week and when I remember it in my mind, I
remember it in a certain way. Well let me show you
how this works. Can you remember a time when you
rode a, a really good roller coaster?"
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: "Okay, now, I don't know whether you
imagine easier, more easily with your eyes open or
your eyes closed.”
Kathleen: Umm.
Brother Orion: "Closed.”
Kathleen: Okay. Brother Orion: That's better.
Audience: laughter
Kathleen: _____ but _____ .
Brother Orion: "Close your eyes.”
Ross: I'll hold this for her so she doesn't ...
Brother Orion: I'll hold it for her, it's okay.
Ross: Okay.
Brother Orion: Okay, thanks. ”Okay, close your eyes.”
Kathleen: Uh huh
Brother Orion: "Forget everything, about all of that,
and what I want you to do for a moment is I want you
to see yourself, you know how on roller coasters
these days there's a camera up there that takes a
picture of you as you go on the ride?"
Kathleen: Uh huh
Brother Orion: "And you can look at the picture
afterwards. I want you to see yourself as if you're
sitting in that camera, seeing that Brother Kathleen,
on that roller coaster riding it. Notice how she takes
the ride for a little while. Now open your eyes and
look at me. Okay? And this time I want you to close
your eyes. But this time step into that person there on
that roller coaster to begin feel that long, slow ascent
to get to the top and come screami ng down. See what
you saw, hear what you heard and feel how it feels.
That's right. Open your eyes and look at me.” And
link all those wonderful feelings to me. Which is what
when you say open your eyes and look at me, it does.
Ross: You wouldn't say that.
Audience: Do you say that?
?: No.
226
Ross: He wouldn't actually ...
Brother Orion: I wouldn't say and link all those
feelings to me, no.
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: But I could. It's
been done. ”What I want to ask you now, cause I
think it's interesting how people experience things in
different ways.” Ah, no, that's okay. I was going to
hold it, but, or I was going to give it back to her, but
I'm going to have you close your eyes again in a
minute to show you something else. ”What's
interesting to me is you experience it in two different
ways. And what, what I'm curious about is when you
think about it, which one was more real for you, the
first one or the second one? Which one allowed you
to actually feel the feelings?"
Kathleen: Umm, when I was actually on ...
Brother Orion: "When you were actually on the roller
coaster. Right. Cause you're actually in the experience
now. I want to show something really cool about the
way the mind works. It's something called anchoring.
Something that allows you to reexperience a feeling.
So what I want you to do is I want you to remember a
time when you felt exquisite pleasure in your body,
now don't worry, you don't have to tell me what it was
at that time, right there, oh yeah. Close your eyes ...”
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: "Close your eyes.” Don't worry. None
of these guys know, oh my god. Only Ross and I can
see the images that she's seeing. Oh man. I'm just
kidding. ”Close your eyes.” It's not embarrassing
cause nobody else knows what you're thinking.
Kathleen: Now they do.
Brother Orion: No they don't.
Ross: _____ projector.
Brother Orion: _____ beautiful sunset. ”Close your
eyes and remember what you really want to remember
to feel wonderful, see what you saw, hear what you
heard, ooo, all right, take a moment in that time,
remember only the good parts, feel what you felt, see
what you saw, hear what you heard, and once it
reaches it's peak, just wiggle that thought just a little
bit toward me now.”
Kathleen: I'm giggling too much.
Brother Orion: Okay. Wait, just a minute. I get this
sometimes from people. Open your eyes. What I want
you to notice is that, the reason you're giggling is
because you have your giggle dial turned up a little
too high.
Kathleen: Laughing
Brother Orion: This happens a lot when you massage
people who are a little ticklish, a little sensitive. What
I want you to do is you see that dial there? Is it on the
left or the right side? On the left. Okay. Go ahead and
put your finger on the tickle, on the giggle dial, and
turn it down. And now you see right next that the
relaxed and comfortable dial?
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: Turn that one up only as slowly as you
feel more relaxed and comfortable, keeping your eyes
closed. Okay? Now, that's right. Go back to that
experience of exquisite pleasure; see what you saw,
hear what you heard, and feel how it felt. And as you
do that, once it reaches its peak, just lift your thumb
just a little bit to let me know you feel that now. That's
right. Take all the time you like. The next few seconds
to feel those feelings building into a peak. Great.
Great. And just once they reach the peak lift that
thumb just a little bit. Great. Okay. Now, open your
eyes and look at me. Now, you reached a couple of
peaks in there.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I was watching that movie.
Brother Orion: So I was, I was anchoring them as I
went. I was anchoring them as I went. Now put your,
now, put your mind back to that place. Close your
eyes and really see what you saw, hear what you
heard, and, ooo, feel how it felt and maybe even smell
and taste those smells, that's right, as you feel those
feelings building, only once they reach their peak lift
that thumb right there to let me know. Great. Hold on
to those feelings as you open your eyes and look at
me. All right. Now the third time is the magic time. So
close your eyes and allow yourself to enjoy that
experience so deeply. Notice how every single inch of
your skin feels. Notice every sound, whisper, sigh,
whatever sound you hear, every feeling, and all the
things you're seeing, the colors. And as it begins to
reach it peak and only once it really begins to reach
its peak, lift up that thumb to let me know. That's
right. Great. Now hold on to those feelings and really
enjoy them. Open your eyes and look at me. Now it's
so interesting how a certain feeling can happen in a
certain way. But your mind knows something else.
Your mind knows how to even intensify things. Close
your eyes for a moment. If that feels great and now
I've got my finger on her, just arbitrarily on her, in her
elbow, inside of her elbow. And now I'm going to
allow those feelings to intensify, cause you would like
to feel them intensify, wouldn't you? Okay? Now if
227
that feels great, you know, when you begin to
intensify it, it feels even better. That's right. Ummm.
And I'm moving my hand up her arm; a slight anchor
it's called. So if that feels great, you could feel even
better. Open your eyes and look at me. What's
amazing is sometimes you can just be talking to
someone in a, you know, just having a conversation
about some fascinating thoughts. And for whatever
mysterious reason, you just start to feel great and
even better, don't you? And you could even cycle
those feelings back inside yourself to feel great and
even better; great and even better. And I'm firing off
the anchor again and again and again and
228
it's intensifying each time. It feels pretty good, don't
you?
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: Yeah, uh huh. Okay. No, it's not done
yet, of course. The blamo pattern has even more
cause I, we're going to let them up now, not yet, okay.
Kathleen: No.
Brother Orion: This is where it gets interesting.
Ross: We're going to huff and puff and blow their
house down.
Audience: Comment from audience
Brother Orion: This is, it gets interesting because this
is where, where I, I get into some things that I think
are really fascinating about the way the, your mind
works, the way that a lot of people look at and think
about things. And that is that people need a way to
sort out their subjective experience, to see images in a
certain way in your mind. For example, if you, imagine
that your mind was a big blank movie screen. Right?
And you were to think of an experience that you had,
right, where you felt just somebody you really, really
liked. And as you think about that person, if you were
to take and point with your finger to where see,
Missy, that person's picture, where might you point
right now? Okay. You knew right where it's at. Right
there. And now I'm going, she's pointing and I'm
going to put my hand right where she sees it. Right
there? And I'm going to check. I've got it in the right
place? Treat the, oh thank you, see, she corrected me.
Treat the picture that it, like it's real. A lot of women
will say, "What do you mean?" or "I don't
understand.” Well, if you, if you could see an image
or if your mind was a big movie screen or if there was
an image, you suppose, where might it be? So is it
right here? Someone you really like? Okay. Now, I'm
going to leave that right there. But I want you to think
about somebody, either somebody you really don't
like or somebody you just don't care about. Someone
who's no big deal. Okay. And as you seem to, as you
seem to see an image of that person, where might you
point to that picture right at now. Ooo, it's behind
you.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: It's behind you. You know what's
interesting ...
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: _____ , no, no, no, it's not you.
Kathleen: It's not you.
Brother Orion: It's not you. But you know what it is.
Ross: I don't care.
Brother Orion: You know what it is? Amy took her,
took her hands, ...
Ross: _____ .
Brother Orion: Amy took her hand ...
Ross: Kathleen ...
Brother Orion: Sorry, Brother Kathleen, Brother
Kathleen took her thumb and pointed behind her with
her thumb with her hand curled. Does this look like
anything you've seen before?
Audience: Yes. Comments from audience Brother
Orion: Now what do you, what ...
Ross: Laughing
Brother Orion: Say it, say it. Go ahead.
Kathleen: Oh god. YOU'RE OUT OF HERE
Brother Orion: So you don't do it like that. You don't
say you're out of here like that?
Kathleen: No, I ...
Brother Orion: Okay.
Kathleen: ... pump it, pump it.
Brother Orion: Oh you pump it forward. So you don't
say you're out of it like behind you. Okay. But do put
people that you, that you don't care about behind
you. Right? Now if would've just take and just for no
reason whatsoever, just want to move that person's
picture, just try in vain to move that person's picture
from that place of someone you don't like into the
person you really like, just try in vain. Yeah. It's like it
doesn't, yeah, it, you're shaking your head no. It, it
doesn't want to move. Your mind needs a way to sort
out images in your mind. Isn't that interesting how
sometimes, and now I'm going to stand in front of her
picture if I can of someone she really likes, and you
know, use that space in the future.
Ross: _____ bite your lip.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: No, it's you. It's your lip. It's your lip.
Ross: Bite my lip?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Don't follow the suggestions.
229
Brother Orion: What I want you to do though is, I, is,
what I'm curious about is, is the way that people sort
things out in their mind is so fascinating. If you were
to, for example, have you ever fallen in love?
Kathleen: Uh huh
Brother Orion: Uh huh. Yeah. Felt pretty good. If you
were to, as you think about falling in love, if you were
to point to where you see him, to see a picture of
falling in love, where might you point right now? Ooo,
right in front of you. Right in front of you and a little
up. Is this the right place? Please. Oh, notice how she
corrected me. Okay. And you know what is so
interesting about the way that people make images in
your mind, for example, you know, think about the
way that people feel connections, the way that you
feel great and even better, and fire off _____ the
again. If you were to, for example, think, think about
my voice and hear my voice coming from that space
of falling in love, and maybe even feel a certain
warmth there, color, as you allow it to penetrate your
thoughts and move and swirl and feeling better and
better. What's amazing that I think is the way that a
person can allow yourself, give yourself permission,
to feel those wonderful feelings flooding inside your
mind, to let those feelings come from that place of
falling in love, penetrate your thoughts and feel you
up and they spread down through every part of you.
And now I'm going to intensify it using quotes _____
separating. Now, it's so interesting how sometimes
those feelings can cause a person to act in a certain
way. I mean, I was sitting in a bar once, went out, and
this woman next to me was just sitting there having a
drink and this guy came up to her and he'd been
looking at her, and he just said, "If I were to say to
you, can you imagine what it would feel like if I were
going down on you ...”
Ross: Uh, uh, uh, uh. We're, let's not, let's not go
there.
Brother Orion: Well, I won't say it to her, I'll say it to ...
Ross: Let's not say it to her.
Brother Orion: I'll say it to the lights up, up there. ”If
you'd imagine how it would feel if I were going down
on you for hours, exactly the way you like, and you
were so hot and so turned on, that you were begging
to have it, begging to really get it the way you've
always wanted it. Wow. I mean ...”
Ross: _____ muffins.
Brother Orion: Laughing
Kathleen: _____ muffins.
Brother Orion: "I mean, can you imagine that? Did,
did, you know, did she really, did he really expect her
to think about that all night long? And you know
what was so interesting? He actually, she actually
played along with it. She turned around and she said,
'You know that feeling you get right before you have
an orgasm and you feel those feelings pulsing and
swirling through every inch of your body? God, I
didn't know how much better she thought she was
making him feel but it was just so interesting.”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I think you're going beyond the blamo, though,
_____ and quotes. So you've done a great job.
Brother Orion: No, no. Blamo's, blamo in the book
includes the quotes at the end. And then you just
wait for them to pounce or you pounce on them.
Ross: Yeah. Let's give them both a huge hand.
Audience: Applause.
Yates: This is the end of Side 19 of the Ross Jeffries
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
230
Tape 10 – Side 2
Yates: Welcome to Side 20 of the Ross Jeffries Basic
Speed Seduction Seminar
Yates: This is the end of the Ross Jeffries Speed
Seduction Seminar for those basic students. And at
the end of this seminar what we did was we passed
the microphone around, after giving a little bit of
instruction, and we let any number of students who
would like to speak tell about their experience in this
seminar. And that is what follows on the next few
minutes of this tape. So stand by.
?: No.
Ross: You don't need to say your name. You can if
you want to, but you have 30 seconds _____ .
Audience: One of the things I got was the ability to
just walk up to any like really attractive woman and
not, not just talk to her or g et her phone number, but
then decide if I wanted her or not, like I had a choice,
so I said, "Ah, I don't want this. Forget it.”
?: That's great. Thank you.
Mark: Anyone else?
?: I have a great deal of experience with NLP and
hypnosis, but almost all the trainings I've gone to has
not taken the technology and applied so you can get
results. With Ross, you'll always get results.
Ross: Oh, I like that one. Anybody else? Yes.
?: I've been studying Ross' material for several
months now and it's literally made a change in my life
in that I've got the attitude that a lot of brothers will
have very soon. And it's also helped me in, in my
personal life in non, non-female situations such as my
business.
Ross: What about this seminar? Tell me what this
seminar _____ made a difference.
?: Coming to this seminar, it helped me tie up some
loose ends that I was having personal challenges with
and I will be working on them to improve it even more,
but it had, it has helped me.
Ross: Okay. Somebody else. Yes, brother.
?: Urn, I have had no prior materials that I have used
with this program. So I came into it really fresh. I
remember the moment I walked through the door I was
thinking, "God, I am really feeling uncomfortable
about this. This is probably going to be one of the
most embarrassing things that I've ever had to do in
my life. I can't believe I'm doing this.” And now, after
this is over with, I'm thinking, "I can't believe that I
wouldn't consider doing something like this.” This
stuff is real and the, the work that was done here over
the weekend is extremely incredible and, and this is
coming from someone who's had no prior exposure to
this stuff so I'm totally like I haven't been at all even
told what to say or by any means, and it's been great.
Thanks.
?: I would like to add that I met Ross just about a
couple of months ago. I got introduced to the
materials and before that time, I had a completely
different paradigm about women in general, just the
whole thing. This has not only changed my
perspective in giving me the tools and the confidence
but it's given me a new way to understand them. And
the seminar I thought, "Oh, you know, I'm going to go
to the seminar. I'm going to meet a bunch of people
that have, you know, tape on their glasses and they're
going to be very strange and probably the best thing
that's happened is I met a bunch of people, I have met
some of the neatest people that I've ever met here and
I've made some ...”
Audience: Applause
I've made some really amazing instant connections
with people ...
Audience: Laughter
?: ... who, you know, I know that I'm going to have
relationships for a long time and probably one of the
most powerful things is I know that I'm going to have
the support and I'm going to have community of
people who think like me of really intelligent people
that I can lean on and I can look to for support and
encouragement in the future.
Ross: That's more than 30 seconds. Ali, Willie, do you
want say something? Go as _____ , and then as you.
?: I would just like to say, is this on? No, I'm kidding. I
would just like to say that Ross' class is changed my
life and, well, I think you people can see the ways on
the new every night.
Audience: Laughter.
?: It's been a wonderful experience for me and, hah,
ow, the teeth, it hurts a little, so ...
Audience: Laughter
?: I just want to, I just want to close by saying that me
and my dog Buddy have both been getting laid much
231
more often because of Ross, and I would just like to
thank him very much. Let's hear it for young Ross. All
right.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Now what did you think of it? Tell them why
you came.
?: I came, I'm writing a screenplay about speed
seduction. I read the ROLLING STONE article and
said, "I have to meet this guy.” I called my manager,
had the meeting, we hit it off. Ross trusted me, we got
along well. And just as I've been telling people the
project and showing them the articles, people always
say the same thing. ”Oh, that's bullshit. It can't work.
It can't work, it's bullshit.” And I said, "Well, you
know what? I think there's a movie here. I think it's the
real deal, so I'm going to go check it out.” And it's
been amazing. I'm glad to say that I came. I'm glad to
say that I checked it out and I'm going to write a
kick-ass movie about it cause it's the real deal.
Ross: I told you, you didn't see what I did until you
came to see it.
?: Right. Now you can't see it by the articles. The
articles, the marketing, in the articles is, is just a way
to get your attention. Really, so much, so much more
interesting stuff goes on here. It's been terrific. Thank
you.
Ross: You're welcome. Anybody else?
Audience: Applause
Brother 0rion: I want to say that Ross tricked me. I
thought when I came into this material this is going to
be some way, you know, just to get women to get
horny around me. But it's done a lot more than that.
It's helped me to transform the quality of my life and
to help me learn how to transform the quality of other
people's lives and to give gifts that I can, you know,
not just to, not just to women who I meet to let them
have these incredible experiences, these incredible
states and learnings, but to give guys more tools.
Even if I just talk to a friend about relationships and
give them some more, you know, insight about them
without actually, you know, directly talking about the
material presented, you know, and especially when I'm
in here teaching you guys. It's just the best thing, it
feels so good to know that I'm sharing something
that's made such a tremendous difference in my life
and, and one thing that I thought was really
fascinating that happened this week is when I talked,
went out there and talked to Lisa and I told her, you
know, I, I teach, I'm teaching seduction and hypnosis
and I was able to tell her exactly what's happening,
bring her in here. I mean, for me, that was just an
epiphany to be, just, you know, that I could come that
forward with someone and still have them just
fascinated by me. It was amazing. Thanks a lot, Ross.
Ross: Yes, you're welcome. The more playful you are,
the mo re blatant you can be. Yes?
?: I've come to several of Ross' seminars and I have to
tell you that they really opened my mind and really
changed my life in a lot of different ways and I think
the people who have seen me over the last year have
seen tremendous changes and I really appreciate the,
the results I've received.
Ross: Yes, definitely. You want ...
?: Yeah, what?
Ross: You already did one.
?: _____ .
Ross: No, no, you already did one.
?: Looks good.
Ross: You already did one.
?: Okay, I'm very glad that I came to this seminar. My
uncle told me about it. I wasn't sure.
Ross: Who was your uncle? I'm just curious.
?: Fred.
Ross: Oh, I remember. Good guy.
?: Right. And this seminar has made me think about
things differently. Before I was concentrating on what
I would say or what I wouldn't say, how I felt. Now I
realize not to think about that and to pay attention to
how the other person feels and watch their reactions.
And not to hear a voice in my head. And I feel much
better about that. And I feel that I'll be able to do a lot
more things because of that.
Ross: You will. You will.
Kim: That's a good one.
Ross: Bunny, you want to say something? No?
Anybody else.
?: Here Ross.
?: Yes, Ross.
?: This seminar marks a year since I was first exposed
to Ross' ideas and instructions. And my social life has
been transformed completely. I, I started off using the
tools, in particular the jokes and the codes and people
who thought I was just somebody who fit in with the,
with the woodwork thought that I was a really
232
interesting guy. In addition to my social life also it's in
other areas I'm much more open and I'm, I have so
many possibilities in front of me. And I just want to
thank Ross for that.
Ross: You're welcome, _____ .
Audience: Applause.
?: Anybody else?
Ross: Anybody else.
?: He's already gone.
?: _____ two years ago, okay, I got out of a divorce,
okay? It was a pretty bad divorce and everything and
it took me a long time to recover from it. Anyway,
after I, I kind of dated for a long while and you went
out on a Saturday night and you always were hoping
to get lucky and find somebody, okay? A lot of the
somebodies that you took home or that you found
were people that you really wouldn't be satisfied with
or that you, that you would never date now. Okay?
Anyway, after getting Ross' course, I was able to
communicate with women much, much better. Okay?
And now the women that I talk to and that I have a
relationship with are just no where near the caliber
that I ever thought that I could. Oka y? Now I'm able
to find somebody that is worthy, okay? Somebody
that make something better out of me. Somebody
who's worth being with, okay? That is what your
course has meant for me. Okay?
Ross: Very cool. Thank you. Very cool.
Audience: Applause
Ross: "Before I came to Ross's course, my mother
said that I should do something about my social and
Ross, I want to say that thanks to you I have the
courage to approach that blow-up doll that I've
always dreamed of. Thank you, Ross Jeffries.” Yes
?: Just a note to, to anybody that's contemplating
coming to one of these seminars, sure, if you use
these tools, you are going to succeed in your
relationships with women. But one of the important
things that this seminar taught me is the fact that now
I know I can step outside the box and use my rules.
Ross: I, that's great. You can step outside the box and
use his own rules. Yes? Who's that?
?: You wanted it? You wanted it?
?: I'll take it.
?: Yep.
?: John.
?: Over here.
?: Ross' material gave me the choices and
opportunities that I never used to have in every way.
Coming to this seminar brought the technology to life,
sort of like standing, the difference between standing
on a beach and watching that sunset and looking at a
crumpled up black and white photograph or running
down on a football field scoring that touchdown and
reading about it in the next day's newspaper. And, so
if you want this to happen to you in the real world,
then you need to take this opportunity and go to a
seminar.
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: We've now let you, we're going to wrap it
because we've got to get out of this room. People
want to watch the Bulls and the Bears. Go for it.
?: There was a time in my life when I, when I'd get
excited about something that I'd actually become
physically ill as a result of it. Right across the street
from where this seminar is, is a place where I've
probably thrown up five different times in my life.
Fortunately, I've, fortunately, I've overcome that, but
at the beginning of this seminar I noticed myself
slipping back into those old patterns, because I was
so excited about the opportunities that I'd enjoy here.
On the second day of the seminar, ...
Ross: Like that character on South Park that throws
up whenever ...
?: Right. Kenny.
Ross: Wendy. Wendy Kesteberger.
?: Stan.
Ross: Stan is the one who throws up, it's Wendy
Kesteberger I'm talking about.
?: Blahhhhh.
Kim: Laughing
?: _____ .
?: But on the second day I volunteered to be a guinea
pig up in front of the whole seminar and the, the
techniques which were used on and with me and
which I, I participated in made me so excited about the
opportunities and the skills that I learned at this
seminar that the illness that I felt coming on totally
went away and now I'm just raring to go out there and
get some.
233
?: _____ with you?
Ross: Oh, wow. I don't even remember. Cool. I don't,
cool. Good, good, good, good, good. Anybody else?
Is that it?
?: Here, I'll do it.
Ross: You want to go?
?-. Sure, I'll go.
Ross: Okay, good. Social proof
?: Okay. Before I came to Ross, when I got his tapes, I
had some doubts about believing that this stuff
would work. But coming to this seminar has, he
proved to me that this stuff really does work and as a
person that grew up, you know, struggling to find
things, because I never got the best of anything, you
know, I always got the worst stuff. So I always tried
to get the best of everything I could and I feel that
Ross, if anything in your life that you want to get,
you have to go and meet Ross. He will definitely
change your life.
Audience: Applause.
LONG SILENCE ON TAPE (FOLLOWING MAY BE A
REPEAT OF PREVIOUS TAPE)
Brother Orion: Laughing
Ross: There's nowhere for _____ .
?: And I said, "Great. Would you like some more?"
And she said ...
Ross & Audience: laughing
?: "Sure.” And I said, "Okay.”
Ross: Okay. Did you try it with anyone else.
?: I didn't try that, but I did try something else I'd
never done before.
Ross: Oh, follow directions. But tell us what you did.
?: The, the hostess who seated us, very attractive
young lady and ...
Ross: I've noticed that's often the case.
?: Yes.
Ross: The ugly ones are in the kitchen.
Audience: laughter
?: And I said, she seated us, and asked blah, blah,
blah, blah. And I said, I put my hand to my forehead
to be, you know, making a gesture, I said, "I know
you.”
Ross: Ah.
?: "Have you lived around here for a while?" And I
kept my hand on my forehead. And she said, "Yeah, a
couple of years.” And I said, "I know where it is. I've
been reading a book on angels and you're on the
cover.”
Ross: Laughing. Very good. And how did she
respond?
?: And she was, and I was, I was shaking, "My name's
Paul.” And I held on to her hand for a good minute.
Ross: Yeah.
?: And she's very, very busy. It was, you know,
Saturday night at TGI Friday.
Ross: How did she respond when you said "You're on
the cover"? Did she smile and laugh?
?: She smiled, she glowed, ...
Ross: Yeah.
?: It was like she tilted her head and it was ...
Ross: Now that's an example of the kind of thing
where if you tell a guy that would work, he'd go, "No
way.” But women respond to it. Excellent, very good.
?: I never would've tried that.
Ross: No, well good. Good. Give him a big hand.
You're making good progress.
Audience: Applause
Ross: The point of the exercise is, is to get you,
number one, to get you moving so you can actually
say something. And, by the way, this is another
exercise where we, where we're forgetting about the
content, we're giving you nonsense content so
instead you can focus on the process. And the
process is to go up, get moving without hesitation,
move, say something, and watch the response. And
to train your attention to go somewhere other than
inward into your own internal dialogue. And instead
direct it outward and watch the response you're
getting. Those of you who did not do the exercise are
robbing yourselves of a very important skillset that
you need to learn. Speed seduction is not just about
knowing what words to say. It's also about noticing
responses and paying attention.
BREAK IN TAPE
234
?: _____ around the world and so far, so good, and
better days ahead. Thanks.
Audience: Applause.
?: Dear Ross. My life before speed seduction with,
with ...
Ross: _____ . Try doing this. Instead of _____ , say
what you think.
?: All right.
Ross: _____ .
?: Sure. My life before speed seduction with chicks
was pretty sad and pathetic. I would, every time I, I, I
was very angry with women because they would
always reject me and I thought that that was, they
were just re, rejecting my approach. So now I would, it
got to the point where I wouldn't even talk to them
and I went out of my way to avoid them. Now, I know
that I can approach and even, even if I do get rejected
I know it's not me, it's just my approach and I need to
work, and I keep needing to work on my approach. I'm
not angry at women any more, I don't think they're
bitches, it's just that they do, you know, I don't think
they're, so I'm not sad and lonely any more. I can walk
around life with a lot more happiness and joy cause
I'm not walking around angry at a certain part of my
life anymore.
Ross: That's cool.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Yeah. It's on.
?: Okay. Yeah, this, this seminar. It, it really clued me
in to the idea that, you know, as I stand here, I know
what's inside my own mind, but I have a very poor
idea about what I am perceived like by you all here,
you know. And it's a gap I, I, it's a gap that won't be
here in six months, or some length of time in the
future. And, you know, all of you are my brothers and
I want you to know that, you know, I need all of you
to let me know what it is that I really do because
otherwise I won't.
Ross: Thank you. Is that it? Are you done? One more
and let's get out of here.
?: The Bulls and the Bears.
?: This is the first of Ross' seminars that I've ever
attended and my first real exposure to speed
seduction materials and I just honestly say it was
quite worth it. I drove 350 miles ...
Ross: Whoa.
?: ... mostly in the rain to come here and I've been, I've
met so many new friends and had so many exciting,
fun approaches and experiences in the last three days
that I didn't have the courage to or the, the materials
and techniques to go about doing that before this
seminar. I've learned a lot about how to communicate
more effectively with people and to find the real
reasons behind my past relationships and my, my
past experiences with women that may have not have
gone to the extent that I wished them to go to or to
the length and this seminar has really opened my eyes
up to that. And I feel my communication skills are a
lot better as a result of it.
Ross: Good. Make it count and kick some ass. All
right. Thank you all for being here.
Audience: Thank you, Ross. Comments from
audience.
Ross: You're welcome.
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