Later Than you think

K. Michelle

No part of this book may be used or

reproduced in any form or by any electronic or
mechanical means, including information storage
and retrieval systems, without written permission
from the author, except for the use of brief
quotations in a book review.

Cover: The Worst Book Club

Synopsis:

Is it possible for a shattered girl to love a

broken boy? Each of them marrying the chips and
holes in the cracks that are barely holding them
together. Drawn to each other like two magnets,
fighting for what they want. What is meant to be.
To be together.

Or are they just two broken people?

Lapping up the love that’s dripped down the side of
a knife, hoping they don’t get cut.

I lived in hell growing up. Trusting a man, I

believed to be a best friend, only to find out he was
the devil disguised as my savior.

I had a dad that cared more about his next

high, than he did his daughter.

I lost a sister, who is the only reason I’m

standing here today.

I love a man, that I won’t let myself have.

Unaware and unassuming, I have danger

staring me right in the eyes, oblivious to the
destruction looming ahead of me. Timing my
demise perfectly, never wanting me to have my

happy ending.

Because for people like me, the good things

in life come much later than you think.

Table of Contents

Chapter 36

For you.

The one with scars, whether they are visible, or

not.

When you are not fed love on

a silver spoon
you learn to lick it off
knives.

-Lauren Eden - The Lioness Awakens

Prologue

Present Day

Talia

You’ll lose everything you’ve ever loved.

You think you can live without me,

Sweetheart?

You thought fucking wrong. I will bury you

before I let you live without me.

Grinding teeth. Daisy tattoo. Sick to my

stomach. Blurry vision. Shuttering breath. Alone.

I can’t be here for this. I reach over and

squeeze Ryland’s hand for a quick second and
leave the church. I know he understands.
Mackenzie was our lifeline. She is the only reason I
was able to pick myself up. She is the only reason I
was able to be myself again after I was buried so
deep down, I thought I had lost myself forever.

Was. She was the reason.

And now she’s gone. Just like the piece of

my heart I can physically feel missing in my chest.

I try to shuffle my feet as quickly and

quietly as possible out of the church before I
breakdown in front of everyone. I can’t listen to
Ryland stand in front of the church and talk about
how his wife, my best friend, is dead.

I scoff. My best friend is dead. Taking her

last breath clutching my hand in one of hers, and
Ry’s in the other.

I feel the tears fighting to escape.

Not yet.

I get into my black Audi and go to the grave

site early. She’s not there yet, and it’s better this
way. I refuse to see her today. Fuck that. I had seen
Mackenzie die, that was enough. I blast Bury Your
Pain by Like Moths to Flames and try to let the
music console the deep ache that I can feel in my
soul.

Fitting.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m sitting in my car,

staring at an empty grave. I feel nothing, and then
everything all at once. A bomb is detonating in my

body and I let out a cry that I’m sure sounds like a
scream. Tears flow down my face as I hit my
steering wheel over and over again, like it can dull
some of the pain that is burning inside of me.

It was never supposed to be her first. My

whole life I thought it would be me leaving her. I
can’t make it without her. This is wrong, so wrong.
I grab my long black hair and pull it as hard as I
can, weeping for my best friend. Anything to try
and dull this horrific feeling.

I grab the daisies in my passenger seat and

get out of the car, making my way to her grave.
Once I get to the empty hole, I toss them in, piece
by piece.

“It wasn’t supposed to be you, Mac.”

Piece by piece.

“I was the one that was going to die, and

you saved me.”

Piece by piece.

“Why couldn’t I save you? Why?” I feel the

ground sway beneath my feet. My hands shaking in
desperation and anger.

Piece by piece.

“What the hell do I do now, Mac? What the

hell do I do?”

Last piece.

And right on time, the skies open up and

even they, cry for her.

I stand there, letting the rain beat down on

me, hiding the tears that are cascading down my
face. I fall to my knees, unable to hold back the
sobs. I need to pull myself together before
everyone arrives and get the hell out of here.

I try to stand but my legs are failing me. My

arms are failing me. Everything is failing again, and
she isn’t here to help put my broken pieces together
again. I jump and yelp when I feel arms wrap
around me, and a grunt lifts me into his arms.

I don’t have the energy to fight him right

now.

“Hang on to me, Angel.”

I wrap my arms around him and bury my

tear-stained face into his neck. He runs through the
rain to his car. His mint condition, 1970 Black

Chevelle. I don’t even get the goosebumps I
normally do when I think about that car.

“Angel, look at me.” I can’t move. “Talia.”

He grabs my face and my attention.

I stare at his eyes and see my opportunity. I

see it in front of me, like a golden egg on a pedestal
that holds all cures to my diseases. I see an
opportunity to feel anything but the pain I’m
feeling right now, even if it’s just for a short time.

I grab his face and slam my lips to his. He

opens immediately and kisses me back, but then
realizes what is happening and pulls away abruptly.

“No, Angel. Not like this.”

Coward.

“Then get the hell away from me, Preston.”

He’s glaring at me, slowly shaking his head.

I continue, “If you’re not going to give me

what I need, and what I know you want, there is no
reason for you to be here.” It’s a lie. He’s
everything I have ever wanted, but I won’t let
myself have, because of one small problem.

His past, and mine.

“Not happening, Angel.”

“I’m not your Angel.”

He cocks his head at me in warning.

“What the hell do you want, Preston?” I

relent with a sigh.

“Well, we both know the answer to that

one. Let’s not scratch the surface, give it to me
deep.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I’ve never denied that.”

I roll my eyes at him, realizing he gave me a

minute or two of distraction from the pain.

“Let me help, Angel.”

This is all it is. A distraction. I need it more

than anything right now, and he’s offering. I’ve
been dodging this man for three years, and I’m
going to absolutely give in now, because he is going
to distract me from the detrimental loss I feel.

“Take me to Black Lotus.”

He puts on a slight smirk, but right before

that, I caught it. I caught a snippet of the pain I
feel, in his eyes. I know he thought of Mac as a
sister, and he’s missing her too.

“Hell yeah.” The deep timber of his voice

creeps down my spine.

Time for another tattoo. I rub the daisy on

the inside of my arm. I feel myself unraveling at the
corners already. Anything beautiful about me is
becoming tainted by the black that has lived within
me. The black that I’ve fought my entire life. The
black no one fucking understands.

I guess the only way for you to grasp what’s

happening...

Is to start at the beginning.

Chapter 1

Six Years Old

Oh no. Daddy is home early and I didn’t

clean my room in time. I move as fast as I can and
push things under my bed and into my closet. I
shove all of my clothes in my dresser, even if they
were dirty. I’ll sort them out later after he goes to
sleep. I feel my heart racing and my little fingers
shake. I make sure to grab dolly and her brush and
put her in the closet where she is safe.

I’m trying to make my bed and daddy slams

my door open. I feel my tummy hurt just by looking
at him. He’s still in his uniform, but I can tell by his
eyes he hasn’t taken his white pills he always takes
yet. Daddy is a policeman. But I don’t feel safe
with him at all since mommy died. She died in a car
accident when I was four.

He hasn’t been my daddy since.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His

eyes are really really big. And his eyelids keep

twitching.

“Mak.. Making my bed, sir.”

He glares at me, and I flinch. I immediately

regret my action. Daddy gets mad when I flinch.

“Stop being such a damn baby, Talia. Grow

the hell up.”

“Yes, sir.” I stare at my feet.

Daddy has never hit me. But he isn’t very

nice to me. He yells at me a lot because I keep
messing things up. I accidentally put too much salt
on his food last week, and he screamed at me until I
was crying a lot.

He doesn’t stop until I’m in complete tears.

I miss mommy, and the daddy I used to have when
she was alive.

“Go put on your yellow dress, Talia. Meet

me downstairs when you’re done. And brush your
hair, you look raggedy when it’s messy like that.”
He slams the door and leaves.

I sigh in relief that he left, but he already

hurt my feelings. I look in the mirror in my room
and brush my black hair, so it isn’t so frizzy. I look

at my blue eyes. I have mommy’s bright blue eyes.

Daddy says that’s why he hates looking at

me.

I don’t know why he wants me to wear my

favorite yellow dress on a Tuesday night, though.
It’s almost bedtime. I feel sick again. I think
something is wrong, but I need to listen because I
don’t like getting yelled at.

Once my dress is on and my hair is brushed,

I slowly and quietly open my door, so I don’t upset
daddy in case he fell asleep. I hear quiet talking
downstairs and draw my eyebrows together in
confusion. Someone is here? No one ever comes
over.

I make my way downstairs and see that

daddy is drinking, but he has a friend over.

“Talia, I want you to meet someone.”

Daddy says as I walk into the room.

I look to the man that has long dark brown

hair to his shoulders and dark brown eyes. He’s
wearing a uniform too. He looks a lot younger than
daddy, though.

“Hi, Sweetheart. My name is Damon.” He

shines his straight, bright white teeth at me. My
cheeks feel super-hot. Not many people smile at
me, even at school. His friendliness warms a piece
in my chest that hasn’t been warm since mommy
was here.

“Hi, Mr. Damon.” I put my hand out to

shake his, and he chuckles at me. I kind of feel
embarrassed.

“You can just call me Damon, Sweetheart.”

I shake my head and give him my best

smile. “Okay.”

“Hey, your daddy has a couple of things he

needs to get done and wanted me to take you out
for ice cream. What do ya’ say?”

I want to jump up and down in excitement,

but I don’t know if this is a trick. I look at daddy,
“May I go, sir?” I am only supposed to call him sir.
He gets mad if I say daddy.

“Yes, Talia. And don’t act up, be on your

best behavior for Damon, or there will be
consequences. Do you understand?”

My eyes grow big in fear and I nod quickly.

“Of course. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Mr. Damon looks at daddy, “Jesus, Sawyer.

Take it easy on her.”

“Don’t tell me how to raise my daughter,

Damon. Do we have a deal or not?”

Mr. Damon looks at me again, and he keeps

his eyes on me when he says, “Yeah. Yeah we have
a deal.”

◆◆◆

I grab my booster seat and set it in Mr.

Damon’s back seat. He insists on helping me buckle
in. Once I’m buckled, he winks at me and I blush
again.

“Alright, Sweetheart. What’s your favorite

kind of ice cream?”

“Vanilla!” I yell excitedly from the back as

he is driving down our road.

“What? Just vanilla? Come on, you have to

like something other than vanilla, too!”

I pull my lips to the side and look down,

“I’ve never had a different flavor.”

He stares at me from the mirror up front,

“Well, how about this. You can try any flavor you
want tonight. Sound like a plan?”

I shriek in excitement and clap my hands

together. “Really?! You mean it?”

“I sure do, Sweetheart.”

“Wow! Thank you, Mr. Damon!”

He chuckles at me again, “Just Damon,

Sweetheart.”

I nod my head and give him my best smile

in the mirror. He turns up the radio and the fun
music I hear other kids at school sing, is playing.
This is the best night ever. We finally get to the ice
cream shop; I unbuckle, and Mr. Damon helps me
out of the car.

“I love your yellow dress. It looks very

pretty on you.”

“Thank you.” I say quietly, unused to

hearing such nice words.

We walk in the front doors and I smell the

sweet sugar, and my mouth waters immediately. I

look at all the choices of ice cream and feel
overwhelmed. I look up to Mr. Damon and he is
looking down at me with a nice smile.

“I don’t know which one to pick.”

“Would you like to try a couple, Sweetie?” I

look at the nice lady working behind the counter
that asked me.

“Yes, please.” She gives me several samples

on a tiny wooden spoon. I like cookie dough the
best.

“May I have cookie dough, please?” I look

to Mr. Damon.

“Sure thing, Sweetheart.” Then he looks at

the nice lady. “Two double scoop cones of cookie
dough, please.”

A few minutes later she hands me my ice

cream cone and we sit down at a table. I can’t get
enough of it and I wanted to try and savor my ice
cream, but I can’t help to eat it as fast as I can. It’s
so yummy.

“How do you like school, Talia?”

“It’s okay.” I shrug my shoulders, still

focused on my ice cream.

“Do you have a lot of friends?”

“Just one. Her name is Mackenzie. I call her

Mac, though. Like a Big Mac.” I giggle.

“That’s funny. Do you get to play together a

lot?”

“Only at school. Daddy says I can’t have

friends over, or go to their house, either.” I frown.

“Has your daddy always been not very nice

to you?”

I shrug my shoulders, feeling a little

nervous. I don’t want to get in trouble if he tells
daddy what I say.

“I won’t tell him anything you tell me,

Sweetheart. You can talk to me about anything.”

“Um, I think he used to be a lot nicer when

mommy was alive. When she died daddy got really
sad. And then mad. He yells a lot.”

Mr. Damon bobs his head up and down. He

asks me about my favorite subject in school, what
games I like to play, my favorite color and more.

He told me he was my brand-new friend now and
we were going to be best friends.

This is the best day ever.

Chapter 2

Seventh Birthday

It’s my birthday, but I get out of bed and get

ready for school like a normal day. Daddy won’t
remember, and even if he did, he wouldn’t do
anything about it.

I put on my jeans, favorite purple shirt that

has daisies on it and my shoes. I make sure to have
my homework and quietly step out of my room and
look around, trying not to make any noise. Daddy
was drinking a lot last night and took those pills. If I
wake him, he will be so mad, and I will be dead
meat.

His bedroom door is closed, and it’s

normally open so I think he is in there. I softly
tiptoe my way downstairs and into our dirty
kitchen. I try to clean as much as I can, but daddy
just messes it up and laughs. But if I don’t clean, he
will yell at me again, so I do what I can and try to
not let it frustrate me.

I have an hour before I have to be at school,

so I get out a pan to make some scrambled eggs,
but the front door opens. I already know who it is,
but what is he doing here?

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!” Mr. Damon

whispers. He has a big present in his hands. He is
wearing his police uniform, still.

“Damon! What are you doing here? What is

that?”

“A present, silly.”

“For me?”

“Of course. You didn’t think I would forget

my favorite girl, did you?”

I wasn’t expecting him to get me anything.

Mr. Damon and Mackenzie are the only two people
I love. My only friends. Mackenzie, I play with all
the time at school, hopefully someday I can go to
her house. And Mr. Damon comes over to my
house often to meet with daddy, and then we play
games for a bit.

Those are my favorite days.

“Thank you! Can I open it?”

“Yes. But not right now. Want to go get

some breakfast and you can open it there? I will
drop you off at school after.”

“Yes!” I whisper yell. “This is awesome!”

He laughs at my excitement and I grab my

backpack and present and we head out to his car. I
get in the front seat and buckle up, barely
containing my excitement. I don’t remember the
last time I got a birthday present.

We make it barely thirty seconds down the

road. “Okay, can I open my present now?” He
laughs and smiles at me with his pretty teeth, “Fine,
fine. Open it.”

I tear into the paper and open the box. My

favorite yellow dress that I outgrew is in the box,
but now it’s my size.

“Wow! This is great! Thank you so much! I

was so sad when my other dress was too small for
me.” I giggle.

“I know you were. I looked everywhere to

find the dress and get it in a different size.”

“This is awesome. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart.”

This is the best birthday ever. I get yummy

pancakes and I have a new dress. Thankfully I
know Damon, otherwise I wouldn’t have any
clothes that fit me, because daddy doesn’t like
spending more than he has to on me. After we eat a
bunch of pancakes and bacon, we get back in the
car and start to go to school. He turns on my
favorite music, and I smile, because I actually feel
happy. Something I only feel when I see Damon or
get to play with Mac.

We pull up to the school and he reaches

over and squeezes my hand. “Have a great day,
Sweetheart! Be careful when you walk home,
there’s a lot of bad guys out there.”

I roll my eyes. “I know, I know. Thank you

for my dress and breakfast! Bye!” I say as I shut
the door and run up to school and through the
doors.

I get to class just in time when the bell rings.

“Happy Birthday, Talia! My mom is

bringing your present after school.” Mac giggles
and whispers in my ear.

I give her a big grin. “Really?! This is so

exciting!” I whisper back.

The teacher clears his throat and we both

snap our heads up. But I don’t mind, because this is
the greatest day in all of the greatest days ever. My
teacher even remembered and brought me and the
whole class cupcakes and everyone sang me Happy
Birthday. I don’t know the last time I have ever felt
so special.

Nothing can ruin this day.

◆◆◆

After School, I follow Mac out to her

mom’s car in the parking lot.

“Hi, honey! Happy Birthday!” She gives me

a big smile and hugs me.

“Thank you, Mrs. Carson.”

She reaches in the back seat and gets out a

big box. My eyes open really big because I have
never had such a big present before!

“Is this for me?” I ask shocked.

“Sure is, Tali-babes!” Her mom calls me. I

chuckle at her nickname for me.

“This is nuts! Can I open it?!”

“You better open it! It’s your day, go for it!”

She returns my excitement. It makes me miss my
mommy.

I tear into the present and it’s full of clothes,

a new backpack, shoes, hair accessories, and really
cute jewelry. My eyes start watering because I feel
so much love that I haven’t felt in so long, that it’s
overwhelming.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong? Is it the wrong

size? We can exchange it.” Mrs. Carson looks
worried.

I look up to her, “No, ma’am. I love

everything in this giant box. Thank you so much.
This is the best present ever.” I give her a smile.

She wraps her arms around me in a hug,

“You deserve all of it and more, honey. If you ever
need anything, you just tell Mackenzie or I, okay?”

I nod my head, and then turn and give Mac

a big hug. “Thanks, Big Mac.”

“You’re welcome, dude.”

I pause for a moment, “Um, I have to walk

home, do you think you could bring this back in a
bag tomorrow? My backpack isn’t big enough…”

“Oh, honey. We will give you a ride. That

way you don’t have to worry about it!”

My heart skips a few beats. “Um… I think

it’s better if you bring it tomorrow…”

“Sweetie, it’s not a problem. We can take

you.” She grabs the box and puts it in the car. I look
at Mackenzie and she shrugs and gets in. I look
around and take a deep breath, then get into the
car.

“My house is on River Street. Not too far

up the road.”

“I know right where that’s at. Just tell me to

stop when we get to your house.”

I nod my head to her in the mirror. My

hands are sweaty and shaky. I really hope daddy
isn’t home, I don’t want to get in trouble for having
someone bring me home.

Once I tell Mrs. Carson to stop in front of

my house, she asks if they can help me bring in the
box.

“NO!” She bunches her eyebrows and I

clear my throat, “I mean um, no, thank you. I can
get it. Thank you, so much for the present and the
ride. It means the whole world to me.”

“Of course, Sweetie.”

I don’t see daddy’s car, so I grab my box

and run inside and up to my room. I quickly put
everything away, so daddy doesn’t notice anything,
and then I make sure to get my yellow dress out of
my backpack and put that away too.

I don’t think I’ve missed anything, but I still

feel super nervous and my hands are shaking. I
change into PJ’s even though it’s only four pm, I’m
not doing anything else besides making dinner, so I
might as well be comfortable.

I take a deep breath and make my way

downstairs to see what I can try and make. When I
get down the stairs and step to the kitchen, I see
something out of the corner of my eye. I look to my
right into the living room, and daddy is in the
reclining chair staring at me. Like he was waiting
for me.

“H.. Hi, sir.”

He just continues his glare at me, and I feel

like I’m going to get sick.

“I’m going to make dinner… want

spaghetti?”

“Who the hell was in my driveway, Talia?”

My eyes get big and I can feel my heart

beat fast in my chest.

“Mackenzie, from school, her mom insisted

on giving me a ride. I tried to say no, but-”

He shoots up out of his chair and starts

walking towards me quickly. His boots beating
heavy on the floorboards. I back up against the cool
fridge.

“What is the rule, little girl?” He growls in

my face.

“N-No one is to come over.” My chin

quivers.

“And what did you do?”

I feel the first set of tears start to stream

down my face. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!”

“Shut up, Talia!” He says as he starts taking

off his belt viciously. I cry louder and harder in
fear. He has never been physical before, just mean.

“Please, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again!” I

say putting my hands in front of me, praying and
hoping they can provide some sort of protective
barrier.

“I know it won’t.”

He grabs my wrist as he kneels and yanks

me over his leg. My stomach collides with his knee
so hard, I almost lose my breath. Then, all of a
sudden, I feel a burning, sharp pain accompanied
by a loud slap. I scream out in pain as he hits me
over and over again.

“Daddy, no! Please, I’m so… I’m sorry!” I

sob. The pain is unbearable. He’s grunting with
every hit, putting as much power into it as he can. I
scream with every slap, praying for it to stop.

After ten hits, it finally does. “Hopefully,

this will be a lesson you remember, Talia. Get
upstairs and don’t come back down for the rest of
the night.”

I try to run, but my backside feels like it’s

on fire, especially with my pants rubbing against
the welts. Once I make it up to my room, I lock the
door and lay on my bed, face down.

I cry into my pillow, wishing for my mom.

Wishing I had a different dad. Wishing Damon
would have walked in to stop him. I try to be a
good girl the best I can, but it doesn’t matter what I
do, my dad hates me.

Why does my dad hate me? I cry harder,

until I have no tears left. I fall asleep hungry, in
pain, and wondering why I ever thought my
birthday would be a good day.

Chapter 3

Eighth Birthday

Another birthday.

Another day hiding welts and bruises he

likes to inflict on my small, frail, body.

Ever since my seventh birthday, when my

dad decided to punish me with a belt, he has been
progressively more violent. It’s like he woke up a
demon that lived inside of him with every slap of
leather.

I woke up the next morning a changed girl.

Any sort of bubbly personality I had away from
home, had vanished. It’s better to not have friends,
to not talk, to not smile. It makes it easier. People
don’t ask me questions. People don’t talk to me. I
have less chance of being punished. Mackenzie
refuses to not be my friend though. Honestly? I
don’t mind it.

Having her sit next to me and talk to me

without expecting an answer is kind of nice. She
knows something happened on my birthday. I
wouldn’t tell her, but she has always told me I can
tell her anything in the whole world. I won’t tell her
this though. I can’t.

Twelve months of physical and mental

abuse. He doesn’t hit me every day. Mostly when
he drinks a lot. Which is the weekends. I try to
barricade my bedroom door so he can’t get in when
he gets home, sometimes it works.

Sometimes it doesn’t.

He is very smart about placement. In the

summer he keeps it mainly to my core. But during
the winter he has a wider canvas, because I can
cover up with long-sleeves and pants.

I hate him.

I hate this life.

Damon knows something is wrong too, but

he is the only person I try to put a smile on for,
because if I don’t and he tells my father… That
means a punishment.

I did tell Mackenzie not to get me anything

for my birthday. I begged her, silently telling her

with my eyes. She finally understood, and once she
did… She wrapped her arms around me gently and
just hugged me.

My best friend in the world just hugged me

and I cried because it was the first time, I felt safe
in a year.

I’m in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal

when the front door opens.

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!”

I give him a small smile, because that’s the

only kind of smile I can do anymore. “Thanks,
Damon. What are you doing here so early?”

“Taking you out for a birthday breakfast,

duh?” He looks at me like I’m crazy.

I look down to my cereal and back up to

him, “Sorry, I wouldn’t have had a bowl if I had
known…”

“Sweetheart, don’t apologize. And no

worries, you can have a double breakfast.” He says
with a wink as he sits down at the table with me.

“You look very pretty today, Talia.”

I slightly blush, “Thanks.” I braided my long

black hair. I’m wearing black jeans and a dark gray
t-shirt with my black converse. Normal me. Except
the braids. The braids are new. I don’t know why I
did them. I had a dream my mom used to braid my
hair, so I did it to try and feel close to her.

I finish my cereal and grab my bag and head

out to Damon’s car to go get breakfast. I don’t tell
him I’m thankful for this since I’m so hungry
because I had to go to bed without dinner again last
night.

We get to the diner and sit down. I order

French Toast, sausage and scrambled eggs with
chocolate milk. My favorite. Damon is smiling at
me while I order, then he places his and looks at me
again.

I squirm under his stare. I don’t like it when

people try to study me. I feel like they can see
through my act and will know what is truly going
on. That’s the last thing I need. If someone
questions my father about me, he will probably end
up beating me until I go into the hospital.

Damon reaches over and grabs my hand

with a worried look on his face.

“Is everything okay, Sweetheart?”

I look away and take my hand back and into

my lap. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“You seem… different. You haven’t been

yourself in a long time. You know you can tell me
anything, right? Anything at all. I’m here for you.
You can trust me with everything, Talia.” He tells
me this often, but he’s really emphasizing it today.

I nibble my lip and nod. “Thanks, Damon.”

I add a small smile at the end.

He still looks worried but drops it.

Thankfully.

The day goes on and nothing exciting

happens. The teacher doesn’t know it’s my
birthday, which I’m grateful for. Mackenzie didn’t
get me anything, which I’m also grateful for. And I
walk home in peace. Alone. Just me and my
thoughts.

I make it home and walk inside and my dad

is already there in the kitchen. He’s banging around
in there and my heart drops, what is he doing? I
walk in and there is flour, sugar and pans
everywhere. I go to look at my dad and realize it is
not my dad. At all.

“Umm… Can I help you?”

The lady in a short red dress yelps as she

turns around, her hand over her heart.

“Oh honey, you scared the daylights outta

me!” She says with a thick southern accent.

I scratch my head, “Who are you, again?”

“Oh! Silly me!” She dusts off her hands on

a towel, “I’m Lisa-May.” She adds a big beauty-
pageant smile.

I lift my eyebrows, still wondering why this

odd lady is making a mess in my kitchen.

“Your daddy invited me over. He mentioned

it was your birthday, so I wanted to make you a
cake!”

Oh boy.

“Oh, thank you. But you really don’t have

to do that. I’m surprised he remembered anyway.” I
immediately slap my hand over my mouth. I didn’t
mean to say that last part out loud.

She looks taken back, then smiles, “Your

secret is safe with me.” She winks. And I give her a

genuine smile this time, thankful she is keeping that
slip up between the two of us.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

We both turn around to the angry voice

coming from my dad. Not good.

“Sawyer, honey! I just wanted to make a

cake for Talia! For her birthday!” She smiles at him.

He’s keeping his glare at me, “Did you put

her up to this?”

My eyes get big, “No! I don’t even know

her! I just got home!”

“Sawyer, it was my idea!” She looks

confused at why he’s blaming me. He finally turns
his evil gaze to her.

“Get the fuck out, Lisa-May.”

“Excuse me-”

My dad turns and slaps her across the face,

and she lets out a wail. He then grabs her hair so
she’s looking him in the eyes.

“If you ever, talk back or question me

again… I won’t be as forgiving. Understand?”

She’s nodding her head violently, and I’m

shaking, scared about what is in store for me.

“Now get out and don’t call me, I’ll contact

you if I want to see you again.” He then throws her
by the hair towards the living room and she runs
out the door without sparing me a thought.

He turns his gaze to me. I try to shrink

myself as small as I can. Maybe I’ll slip through the
hits.

“You make me so frustrated, Talia. I ask

simple things of you and you are too stupid to
understand any of them!” He starts stepping
towards me, and then grabs the collar of my t-shirt
and yanks me towards him.

“Clean this shit up.” Then he throws me by

the collar to the hard floor. When I try to catch
myself, I feel intense pain in my forearm and let out
a scream. I know it’s broken without looking. Tears
are streaming down my face as I clutch my arm to
my chest, rocking back and forth on the cold floor.
Wondering why this is my life. I’m eight years old,
and I’m wondering why this is my life.

Our front door flies open, and Damon

comes barreling through.

“What the hell is going on in here?” He’s

yelling as he comes into the kitchen. His eyes grow
big when he sees me on the floor and my father
above me. I look to my father’s eyes and I can’t tell
if he is sad that he hurt me or that someone might
have caught him hurting me.

“Sawyer, what the fuck is going on?!” He

grabs my dad by the collar and slams him against
the fridge.

“Damon, get your damn hands off of me

before you regret it.”

“We had a deal.” He snarls in my dad’s

face.

“Still do. But that’s my daughter and I will

raise and discipline her as I please.”

They stare each other down for what feels

like a really long time, then Damon lets go. He
walks over to me and bends over to scoop me up.

“Come on, Sweetheart.” My arm gets

bumped around when he picks me up and I cry out
in pain. “I’m so sorry, I’m gonna take you to get it
fixed, okay?” I nod my head and bury my face into
his neck. The only safe place I’ve felt in years.

As we are walking out the door, my dad

speaks up, “Damon, if you ever try to interfere in
how I raise my daughter again, deal is off. I’ll find
my shit elsewhere.”

Damon freezes, and holds his breath, then

lets it out very slowly. I feel his chin moving, like
he’s grinding his teeth. After a few seconds, he
continues out the door into the car to take me to the
hospital.

Maybe now that Damon knows, things will

get better.

Chapter 4

Nine Years Old

“No! Please! I’m sorry!” I sob, tears rolling

down my face. My hands blistering over from the
burns he’s foolishly put there.

“No! No, no, no! Not again, it hurts too

much, please!”

He finally drops the scolding hot frying pan.

I accidentally burnt dinner, so he held my hand
down on the bottom of it to teach me a lesson.

“Burn cream is in the bathroom cabinet. Go

wrap it and stay in your room the rest of the night. I
now have to go buy food since you’re incapable of
making it.”

My hands are shaking uncontrollably. I

can’t see out of my eyes because of the tears, and
the pain is blinding me. I can handle the hits.

I cannot handle this.

I take an ice pack out of the freezer and

make my way to the bathroom and take some
Tylenol. I’ve had to take so much in my life, I
already know the proper dosage. I grab the burn
cream, gauze and a wrap. I’m going to try and
bandage myself up, but even a feather of a touch to
the blister on my palm causes more and more pain.
I don’t even know how to do this properly.

“Ow, ahhhhh!” I let out a silent scream. I

put a rag in my mouth to bite down on as I’m trying
to clean debris from the pan out of my blisters. I
feel my heart beating in my throat, and my limbs
feel weak. The pain is excruciating. I lightly apply
the burn cream, which is slightly soothing, but it’s
not helping the pain I feel all over my body. My
heart. The pain I constantly feel.

I take a minute to lightly blow over the

burn, before I wrap it. I take a deep breath and put
the gauze over the burn and start to wrap, but the
heat is trapped inside the bandage and it’s too much
right now. I decide to let it air out for a little while
and try to put the bandage on later.

I hobble to my room, lightly shut and lock

the door and slide down it to sit on my floor.
Turning on the fan in my room and holding my
hand by it. Sobs shake through my whole body;

I’ve never been in so much pain in my life.

Damon hasn’t come around as much this

last year. He still sees me, just not as often.

I’ve never felt so lonely in my whole life.

My birthday is in one month. Right after the

start of school. Sawyer gets more violent in the
summer when he doesn’t have to worry about
teachers or other kids questioning injuries.

When he whipped me with the belt, it woke

up a monster inside of him. When he broke my
arm, it woke up a demon inside of him.

I can only hope this one doesn’t make

things even worse. I don’t dare try to run away, too
afraid of the consequences. I have no money or
food to make it very far, anyways. I get up and go
lay on my bed, bringing the fan with me.

I look at my ceiling, take a deep breath, and

just let myself cry.

I wish I was where my mom is at.

Chapter 5

Eleven Years Old

“BIG MAC!” I yell down the school hall

from her. She turns around eyes wide, taken back
by my excitement. Probably because this is the first
time I’ve been excited since I was six years old.

“Okay, you’re scaring me.”

I laugh, “You are NEVER going to believe

this.”

“What…” She’s so shocked right now, it’s

so amusing.

“Sawyer said I can come to your house for

the weekend…”

“WHAT?!”

“I KNOW.” Mac starts jumping up and

down screaming in excitement. There she is.

Sawyer has never once in my life let me go

to a friend’s house. I don’t care that this is
suspicious as hell, I can get out of that hell hole for
a few days. I will sleep at a park if I have to, but I
am NOT going home.

“I already have a bag packed. I know your

parents might say no. But I am not going back to
that house until Monday.”

“My parents will definitely not say no! Oh

my gosh, this is going to be the most epic weekend
EVER.”

The last year has been… weird. The frying

pan burn is still at the top of the ‘worst of the abuse
list’, but it hasn’t stopped completely. Now that
I’ve grown a bit, he’s dialed it back a little. I only
worry about it getting physical when he’s really
drunk or high. I don’t know how he’s maintained
his job as a cop. But Sawyer has decided to stick
with the mental abuse route, for the most part, as of
late.

This morning is the most I’ve talked in one

conversation to Mac, in years. She is the main
conversation holder in this relationship. I’ve never
been more thankful for a human, than I am Mac.
Damon too, but that’s different. He’s stopped by
once or twice a week consistently. He’s quieter

lately though. But I’m quiet too, so I don’t judge
him.

After the last bell rings, Mac and I find each

other, and we run out to her mom’s car.

“Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom!!!”

“Mac, breathe.” She laughs at her daughter,

used to this level of peppy from her daughter. “Hi,
Tali-babes!” She turns her eyes to me.

I give her mom a small smile, “Hi, Mrs.

Carson.” I feel really nervous she is going to tell me
no, that I can’t come over. I would give anything to
sleep in a comfortable bed and eat a dinner that I
didn’t have to make.

“Mom! Sawyer said that Talia can come

over for the ENTIRE. WEEKEND. Please, please,
please, pleeeeease say yes!

She looks to me with wide eyes, also clearly

shocked. “He did, Sweetie?”

I nod my head quickly.

“Do you have clothes?”

I nod my head quickly again.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get in! We

have a fun girl’s weekend ahead of us!”

I could almost cry once she said that

sentence. My anxiety and stress deflate from my
chest and I hop in the car next to Mac. The next
two days, I will be able to breathe without the fear
of being berated or beaten.

This is the best gift I’ve ever been given.

And it’s not even my birthday.

◆◆◆

We get to Mac’s house, and it is so homey,

cozy and inviting. I take a deep breath, inhaling the
warm apple-cinnamon scent of their home. When
Mac brings me to her room, my jaw drops open. It
is awesome. She has dark gray walls, a massive
white fluffy bed, cool lights hanging across her
room, and posters of our favorite bands on the
walls. She even has her own bathroom! This is
madness.

I set my bag down. “Dude, your room is

awesome.”

She just smiles at me. “Maybe I can come

to your house one of these days, now?”

“No!” I clear my throat. “I mean, no, it’s

better if you don’t.” I lift one side of my mouth.

“I won’t mention it the rest of the weekend,

but like I always say, you can tell me, or my mom,
anything. Okay?”

I nod my head at her and her mom comes in

the room. “Alright, girls! Do we want to go out to
eat tonight or tomorrow?” She smiles warmly,
“What would you like Talia? I’m in the mood to
spoil my girls!”

“Could we stay here, and go out

tomorrow?” I ask her. I want to enjoy a normal
night in a normal home.

“Absolutely! How about I make my

homemade chicken fingers?”

Mac looks at me, “Tali-babes, they are

amazing. Like, drool-worthy.”

I giggle, “That sounds awesome. Thank

you.”

Her mom goes down to start dinner and

Mac shows me around their house. It’s not a

mansion, but it’s a decent size home. We go into
her back yard and jump on the trampoline and look
at magazines with cute boys. It’s the first time I’ve
ever felt like a normal girl in my life. I look around
her back yard and notice a garden of flowers. I
walk over to them, touching the petals gently,
admiring their beauty.

“Those are daisies. My mom is obsessed

with them.”

“They’re beautiful.”

“Girls! Dinner is ready!” We both run

inside, wash up, and sit at the table. Her dad and
little sister, Ashley, are already sitting down.

“Hi, Mr. Carson. Hi, Ashley.” Mac’s little

sister waves at me.

“Hey, Talia. It’s great having you over

here.” He smiles at me. I’m a little weary of him.
The only male I’ve ever been comfortable around is
Damon. I know I have no reason at all to fear him,
but I can’t help it.

We take a seat and her mom loads the table

with chicken fingers, mashed potatoes, corn on the
cob and stuffing. I’ve never seen so much food in
my life.

“Dig in!”

I grab a little bit of each. I’m not used to so

much food, and I don’t want to eat myself sick on
my first free weekend ever. I take a bite of the
chicken fingers and groan.

“Mrsh, Carshn, tshis is rlly good.” I say with

my mouth full. Everyone laughs and then I join
them.

“Thank you, Sweetie. Have as much as you

want. If you get hungry or thirsty at all, just come
down and help yourself to whatever we have.”

“Thank you.” I give them an appreciative

smile for making me feel so welcome.

After dinner, Mac’s dad took us to rent

some movies and get snacks. We stayed up late
eating junk food and talking, before we passed out.
I wake up the next morning well rested. I feel like
I’ve slept on a cloud, it was awesome.

I head to Mac’s bathroom and decide to

take a shower and get around for the day.

Once I’m done, I walk out and Mac is up

now, her mom is in the room and they are

whispering.

“Oh, Hey, Tali-babes.” Mac smiles at me,

and her mom gives me a sad smile. I feel a bit
insecure, then her mom speaks up.

“I was thinking about taking us to get our

nails done and a shopping trip. Dad is going to take
Ashley out today. What do you girls say?”

“I say heck yes!” Mac speaks up.

“Um, I didn’t bring any money…” Now I

feel really stupid.

“Oh, Sweetie. You don’t need any!

Remember I said I was in the mood to spoil my
girls? This is that. My treat.”

“Are you sure?”

“Without a doubt.”

I give her a smile, “Okay. That sounds

awesome. Thank you.”

Mrs. Carson took us to the mall and we

each got a couple outfits and new shoes. We got
our nails done while we were there and then
decided we needed to get our hair washed and

blown out. She asked if I wanted a trim, and I really
did. I don’t know the last time I was able to have
this done. By the time we’re done I feel like an
entirely different girl. I feel… happy. We end up
meeting Mackenzie’s dad and little sister at a
Mexican restaurant for dinner and it was so
yummy. We stayed up late again on Saturday night,
watching more movies and funny videos. Sunday,
we stayed home and hung out. We rode bikes
around the block and just had… fun.

This is definitely better than any birthday

I’ve ever had.

◆◆◆

We are all out to eat for breakfast this

morning. My last full day here at Mac’s. It feels like
I’ve been on vacation and as I think about returning
home, I feel my anxiety start to kick in. I fear what
Sawyer might have in store for me. But I will worry
about that tomorrow, I want to soak in the rest of
the time I have left, the best I can.

We actually end up at the diner Damon

takes me to for my birthday. I decide on an egg
scramble with toast. As we are all eating and

talking, I see something out of the side of my eye
and look up at the entrance, and there stands
Damon.

He spotted me immediately and he has a

very confused look on his face. He is in his police
uniform and approaches the table.

“Talia, what are you doing here?”

“Hey, Damon. Sawyer let me go to

Mackenzie’s house for the weekend…” I say, also
confused at why he’s being so weird and unfriendly.

“Hi, I’m Mackenzie’s dad, Oliver. This is

my wife, Erica.” They shake hands a greet each
other, then Damon swings his gaze back to me.

“Do you need a ride home?” What an odd

question, I just told him I was with them.

“No, I’ll be back home tomorrow after

school.”

He slowly nods his head and licks his lips.

“Alright, well have a fun rest of your weekend, and
you folks take care.” Then he walks back out the
door. That was so… different, Damon has never
been so weird before.

“How do you know him, Sweetie?”

“I’ve known him since I was six. He works

with Sawyer.” Always Sawyer now, not dad. He
stopped being that years ago.

They accept my answer and continue their

conversation; I look out the window and see
Damon standing next to his squad car staring at me
before he gets in and drives off.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Something is off.

Chapter 6

Twelfth Birthday

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.”

“Holy balls! Damon you scared the crap out

of me!” I put my hand over my heart, “I didn’t
even hear you come in.”

He just gives me a smirk and walks closer to

me, then pulls me into a hug.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“Giving my best girl a birthday hug. That

okay?”

I nod and return the hug, waiting for him to

release me, and when he doesn’t, I start to pull
away and then he lets go.

“Please tell me you’ve learned by now that

I’m taking you to breakfast.”

“Yup!” I give him a grin.

This last year has been very different.

Sawyer is hanging on by a thread. You can see the
effects of his addiction plain as day. Damon has
been a huge part of my life this past year. He has
been here for me anytime I’ve needed him, and
stops by the house three, four, sometimes five times
a week. Ever since that morning in the diner, he’s
been around way more. He says it’s to make sure
I’m safe, but I don’t mind either way. I’m a lot less
lonely when he’s around.

I grab my stuff and make my way out to the

car and hop in the front seat. He gets in and
automatically turns on one of my favorite bands,
Modest Mouse. They’re so fun and unique, I can’t
help but nod my head along. Damon reaches over
and grabs my hand. At first, I thought he was giving
me something, but then he doesn’t let go.

“I hate to say this again, but what are you

doing?” I give him a weird look, but the butterflies
in my stomach are going crazy. Not only has his
presence been growing, but apparently so has a
small crush. He may be older, but he’s my best
friend, and I feel like I can’t help it. I don’t want to
say he’s like a brother, because having a crush on
your brother would be gross. And I tell this to no
one. Not even Mac.

She doesn’t know much about him

anyways. She’s only seen or heard of him from the
diner. That’s it.

I keep my home life private. I don’t need

people snooping around and getting me in more
trouble. Just because Sawyer is less physically
abusive, doesn’t mean it can’t start again. I still get
the belt if it’s a severe consequence, but it’s back to
him telling me how ugly and useless I am, or how
much he hates me. The usual.

“We’re best friends, are we not?”

“Yeah…”

“You and Mac hold hands, or link arms

when you walk sometimes.”

“How do you know that?”

“I told you, Sweetheart, I always make sure

you’re safe. So, I check on you if I’m by the school
and I see you outside sometimes.” He shrugs as if
it’s completely normal. And I guess it is, because I
have no semblance of any sort of normal in my life.

I nod my head and try to calm my beating

heart.

Once we get to the diner, he releases my

hand and we head on in to get our breakfast. My
heart is still racing, and I keep looking around like
I’ve done something wrong. Which I haven’t, so
I’m not sure why I feel so… different.

We have breakfast and he tells me about the

crazy arrests and chases he’s been on. I listen
intently, fascinated he is a part of something so big.
After we eat, he pays and then drops me off at
school.

Drops me off as if he hasn’t just completely

changed the course my childhood, with just a few
touches.

◆◆◆

2 Months Later

The bell has rung and it’s officially

Thanksgiving break. I loathe the idea of going
home. Sawyer has been very speedy lately. Frantic
and jittery, I feel like he’s about to break mentally.
Which means he is going to take it out on me. My
stress has been through the roof, tiptoeing around

him. I feel like I’ve opened up a lot this last year. I
talk a bit more. I smile a bit more.

But his behavior is starting to revert any

progress I’ve made. I feel the storm coming, and I
have no shelter. No option but to just wait and
watch the destruction.

I’m grabbing the rest of my books out of my

locker, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn
around and see Lucas. My eyes pop open because
Mac is the only person in the school that talks to
me, the weird quiet girl.

“Um, hi…?” I look at him confused. Then

he smiles and my heart flutters. Oh no. Not good.

“Hi, Talia. You look pretty today.”

“I do?”

He laughs, “For sure.”

“Oh uh, thanks.” I look down and I push my

hair behind my ear.

“Can I walk you out?”

“Yeah, I guess. If you want to…” This has

to be a prank. I look all around, but no one is

looking at us. I look back at Lucas and he’s
grinning. Dang, he’s really cute. He has super light
blonde hair and blue eyes. He still has a slight tan
from the summer, somehow.

We start walking down the stairs, out the

doors, and outside it’s a bit quieter.

“What are you doing for break?”

“Oh, uh. Nothing. Just hanging out at home.

How about you?”

“We’re going to Connecticut. My mom’s

family is from there. Ever been there?”

“No, I haven’t. That sounds fun though.”

“It’ll be alright.” He does this weird thing

that boys do, run their hand through their hair and
flip it back. The sight makes my stomach flip and
roll. Oh man. “It would be better if I could talk to
you while I’m there, though.”

“Me?” I’m in disbelief, is this guy joking?

“TALIA!” I hear my name being yelled, I

look over and see Damon, fuming.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. I hope you have

fun on your trip!”

“Tal-wait!” But I don’t. I turn and start

walking towards Damon, which by the way, what
the heck?

“What do you think you’re doing? Who was

that?” He grabs my arm, and although it looks fine
from the outside, I feel the pressure of his squeeze.
He opens the door and leads me into the car.

“Ow, Damon! What is your problem?” He

slams my door and walks around the car to get in.
His nose is flared and he’s squeezing the wheel. I
decide to stay quiet. He finally speaks a minute
later when he pulls out of the parking lot.

“I will ask again, and you will not lie. Who

is the boy, and why were you talking to him?”

I look at him confused. “He’s just a boy in

my grade. His name is Lucas. I’ve never spoke to
him before today. What is the deal?” I ask with an
attitude.

“You will not speak to him again. Do you

understand?”

“No, I don’t understand. Why can’t I? He

was being nice. Mackenzie is the only person that is

ever nice to me, why can’t he be?”

“Because I said so, Talia. You will not talk

to him again, do you understand?”

I scoff and shake my head. “Why are you

being so weird?”

“Why are you being so weird, Talia?” Am I

acting weird? “Are you hiding something?”

“What?! No!”

His eyebrows go up and I see the anger rise

in his demeanor, he thinks I’m lying. It’s making me
nervous and on edge.

“Have you fucked him, Sweetheart?” He’s

snarling now.

I gasp at his language and the accusation.

My eyes go as big as they possibly can. “Wha-
What? No! I’ve never even kissed a boy. The only
boy I’ve ever held hands with is you!” What kind
of question was that?

He pulls into my driveway and turns to look

at me. “And that is exactly how it is going to stay,
Talia. You do not talk to other boys, you do not
look at other boys, you do not think about other

boys. Sawyer may be your father, but I am the only
other man that will be in your life. Do. You.
Understand?”

My hands are shaking. My lip is quivering.

This is not the Damon I know. I just want out of this
car.

“I-I understand.”

“Good. Now get inside. I have to run back

to the station.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep
breath, grabbing my arm gently before I get out.
“I’m sorry I got so angry. I just couldn’t stand
seeing him so close to you.” He puts his hand on
my cheek, but I flinch first, and his brow furrows.

“Sweetheart, I’m not going to hurt you,

okay? I promise. I just care about you so much.”

I nod my head, but I don’t believe him.

I don’t believe him at all.

Chapter 7

Thirteenth Birthday

I’ve closed up again.

I don’t smile. I don’t talk. It’s easier this

way. I don’t risk anything this way.

Only Mac. Mac is the only one. I know

she’s worries about me. I had a year or so where I
started opening up more, and she was so proud of
me.

Not anymore. Damon closed me right back

up.

He is fiercely protective. So protective that

Mac is the only person I am able to talk to. If I am
seen talking to anyone else, he goes off, yelling
about how stupid I am and how dangerous it is.
And if it’s a boy, he gets outraged.

So, I just stopped all together.

Sawyer just got fired from the station last

week. He’s been so drunk and high; it took a toll on
his work and they fired him after he made a
mistake.

I’m lucky to be able to buy bread most

days. That’s where Damon swoops in and saves the
day, his words not mine.

He used to feel like my best friend,

someone I could count on, now I’m just
uncomfortable. Now I feel sick when he hugs me or
holds my hand. I used to get butterflies, now I get
nauseous.

It’s Friday, and my thirteenth birthday.

Damon said he couldn’t take me to breakfast, for
which I was relieved. Then he said he was taking
me to dinner, for which I felt panicked. For being
thirteen years old, I’ve grown up fast. Faster than
any kid should have to. I’ve cooked dinner since I
could remember. I’ve basically been on my own,
and I’ve dealt with shit most adults don’t even have
to deal with.

Death, drugs and alcohol. The things I

loathe most in the world. They’ve taken away my
parents and delivered me a monster in the flesh. A
monster that would repeatedly bend me until I’m
just about to break. Always careful to never shatter

me, but damage me just enough to make sure that
no one will want me.

I get home from school and wait. I’m in a

black, Misfits tee and ripped jeans, which aren’t
ripped on purpose. I’m just lucky that style is in.
And my black chucks, my favorite. My long black
hair is down and straight, and I have black eyeliner
on my top lids with mascara. I’ve worn this makeup
for a couple of months now. Mac bought it for me
as a present and showed me how to put it on in the
girl’s bathroom at school. It’s great to hide behind, I
just wish I had more of it.

I’m sitting on my bed when my door opens,

and I see that it’s Damon. He didn’t even knock.
Blech.

“Hi, Sweetheart. Happy birthday!” He

opens the door to a bouquet of roses and a wrapped
box. I try not to show my distaste. His anger is a
hair trigger ever since he caught me talking to
Lucas.

“Wow. Thanks, Damon.” I give him a tight

smile. “I’ll go put them in something.”

I go to grab them, but he grabs me in a hug

first. I hold my breath and squeeze my eyes shut. I
push myself out of his hold and go to head

downstairs.

“Wait, open this first!” He laughs like I’m

funny. I’m not, I didn’t even make a joke. He takes
the flowers from me and I take the box and rip it
open. Tucked inside, underneath the tissue paper, is
a black dress. It fans out at the bottom and will
probably go to my knees; it has short sleeves.

“Wow, thank you. It’s pretty.” If I wore

dresses.

“I want you to wear it tonight.” I look at

him and he’s wearing a proud smirk.

“I’d prefer to wear this if that’s okay…”

His smile drops. “I’ll say that again. You

will wear that tonight.”

I gulp and nod. He closes the door and

heads downstairs. I change into it and I hate it. I
hate it because he got it for me and because it’s
something I would have picked. But the fact that he
bought it makes me sick. I make my way
downstairs and he has the flowers in a vase already.

“Ready to go?” I ask. I want to get this over

with and sleep.

“Wow. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I force out the words out of

my mouth. I want to throw up, I feel trapped in a
box with a lock that only he has the key to.

We get to a fancy restaurant and we’re

seated. It’s the most awkward dinner I’ve ever sat
through, and I’ve sat through some awkward ones
with Sawyer. He makes small talk and I respond out
of defense, preventing any anger. He insists on
ordering a dessert and orders a big piece of
chocolate cake. I do have to say though, it’s
delicious. I’ve had a fascination with baking for the
longest time. I hate cooking. Hate it. But I’m so
intrigued by baking, because I wish I could do it.
I’ve never told this to anyone because I don’t want
it to be taken away from me. This is my one thing I
can keep in a safe box, all for myself.

“Thanks for dinner. I’ve had quite the day, a

couple of tests, I’m feeling pretty tired.”

“I was just thinking about getting out of

here, too.”

Thank God.

We get into the car and he grabs my hand,

and I cringe on the inside. He pulls out of the drive

and heads in a different direction than the way we
came. I don’t say anything; he’s probably just
taking a different way. After ten minutes, I speak
up.

“Where are we going?”

He looks over and gives me a, what most

girl would think is a handsome, smile. But it makes
me squirm.

“I have a surprise for you.”

My heart stops beating and starts racing all

at once. I feel the hairs on my neck stand up.

“I would really like to go home, Damon.”

“I know, Sweetheart. But this was all a part

of the deal.”

“What deal?”

“Shhh. So curious. Don’t worry.” He says

patting my knee.

He pulls up to a huge brick house. It’s dark

so I can’t tell what it looks like too much, but I
think it’s pretty nice.

“I inherited this house from my parents

when they passed away. I was a teenager, but it’s
mine now.” He gives me a small grin.

I nod my head at him, but I’m way too

anxious to do anything else.

“Come on, I want to give you a tour.”

“Damon, I really want to go home.” I feel

so ill, knowing something is off right now.

He freezes and I see his nostrils flare.

“Talia. You will get out of this car and follow me
into that house. Do you understand?”

I feel tears start to well in my eyes. I know

if I go into that house, I won’t walk out the same, if
I walk out at all. He gets out of the car and comes
to my side and opens the door. He reaches over me
to unbuckle me, and I decide to fight it. I start to hit
him and scream, but he blocks me and puts his
hand over my mouth.

“If you yell one more fucking time, I will

lock you in my basement. I can assure you, you
won’t want that, Sweetheart. Before you think
otherwise, there is no out. I’ve flagged every one of
my phone numbers for dispatchers to ignore. So, if
you think about calling the cops? Sorry, Sweetheart,
you already have one.”

Tears are flowing down my face in fear. I’m

petrified of the man in front of me. I don’t know
who he is. This is not the Damon I know, or ever
knew.

“I will take my hand off of your mouth, and

you will not scream, or there will be consequences.
Understand?”

The word consequences puts me in a trance

from the beatings with Sawyer. I nod my head,
realizing every fucking man in my life has hurt me.
I thought Damon was going to be my savior.

Turns out he will be my demise, the evil that

will destroy me and the demon that will taint me.

Destroying an innocence, not his to destroy.

◆◆◆

Side by side.

Innocent touch of the arm, with vicious

intent.

Lingering glances.

Sipping whiskey.

Shaky fingers.

One-sided lust.

One-sided terror.

I feel like I’m floating outside of my body.

Watching from afar, seeing the scene in front of my
unfold. Watching by force, the night that will
forever change me.

Break me.

Piece by piece.

He lights candles and plays music.

He sits back down on the couch and looks

into my tear-filled eyes. Fear flowing out of them
like a river rushing downstream.

Hand on my cheek.

Unwanted touch of the lips.

Cries of my refusal.

Not enough strength to overpower.

I feel myself about to break.

Piece by piece.

He lays me back as I push and kick.

The sound of the slap to my cheek brings

me back. I’m no longer outside of my body and my
fight instinct kicks in even stronger. I scream at the
top of my lungs.

“No! NO, Damon, no. You don’t get to do

this!” I cry out in desperation, slapping any part of
him my hands will make contact with. I try to press
my thumbs into his eyes. I try to bring my knee up
to his groin.

He grabs my arms and violently brings me

up and slams me back down on the couch.

“Listen here, you ungrateful little brat. You

do not get to change what is happening tonight. You
do not get a decision here. Your father promised me
that you would be mine when you turn thirteen, and
in turn, I would fund his little addiction. He
basically sold you to me, Talia. You don’t have a
choice. So, I suggest you get on board.”

Then he slams his lips to mine again. I don’t

return anything. I try to push his hands away. Push
him away. It’s futile. He overpowers me without
even trying.

“Shhh, it’s going to be okay.”

I sob harder.

I focus on the song. Just focus on the song.

After the Storm by Mumford and Sons.

Focus on the Lyrics.

But there will come a time, you’ll see,

with no more tears
And love will not break your heart,
but dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see what you find there
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

Such a beautiful song, for such a grotesque

moment.

“You were meant for me, Talia.”

I shake my head. Tears flowing down my

cheeks. Begging him to stop what he’s about to do.

Crack.

Piece by piece.

No.

Break.

Piece by piece.

I wasn’t meant for you.

Shatter.

Piece by piece.

And he has just destroyed me.

Piece by piece.

Chapter 8

Fourteenth Birthday

I fucking hate my birthday.

I hate this life.

I hate Sawyer.

I hate him.

If people thought I was a recluse before? I

really showed them after my last birthday. I don’t
talk, not even to Mac. She hasn’t given up on me
though. Sawyer was competent enough to write a
bullshit letter saying I actually have a medical issue
and cannot speak. The idiots at school bought it,
too. I silently beg and plead people to see through
the act. Just look at my eyes. Look at my fucking
eyes.

No one does.

Because no one cares.

Because no one wants to believe things like

this actually happen to young girls and women.

Hell, boys too.

I don’t dare say a word to anyone about

what’s happened to me.

What’s happening to me.

Why?

Consequences.

They are always worse. And they will

always find a way to make you pay. Damon has
made that very clear. No one from 911 will answer
my calls. He’s made sure of it. He’s a dirty cop. A
disgusting, vile human being. Sawyer won’t do shit,
he’s the one that put me in the place I’m in now. As
long as he gets his pills, he doesn’t care.

Why don’t I tell Mac? Simple. Her safety.

Damon threatened he would hurt her, if I ever told
anyone. Damon has also become my disciplinary. I
never would have thought I would prefer Sawyer’s
beatings, but I do. I would rather my dad physically
beat me than to go through what Damon does to

me.

So, I don’t talk. And this has been the year

from hell. It wasn’t enough for Damon to shatter
me once.

No.

He makes sure he keeps breaking me. Over

and over again.

Piece by piece.

Every weekend, and sometimes during the

week. The worst part is, that sometimes he makes it
feel good. I don’t want it to, but he’s warped me.
He’s fucked up my mind. Ruined me. Painted me
black.

Piece by piece.

It’s Saturday, my fourteenth birthday. This

year will be different. I feel different. Not in the
sense that I was forced to grow up. No. It’s like a
new fire. The blackness inside of me has given me a
new door to open. One Damon doesn’t have a key
to. This will be the year I plot. This will be the year
I decide to take the demons he bore inside of me
and become their master.

I will play along.

I will play my part.

Until I don’t have to anymore.

A shattered girl has nothing to lose.

Chapter 9

Fifteen Years Old

“Happy Birthday, Talia.” I speak to myself

in the mirror. “You are beautiful, and worthy…”
Tears slip down my cheeks. My chin is quivering.
My eyelids flutter around my lifeless blue eyes.

“You are strong. You will rise above.” I

choke on a silent sob and wipe my eyes with the
back of my hand. “You are not trash. Someone,
someday, will want you. You do not… belong to
him.”

Tears keep coming no matter how hard I

hold them back.

“You are not ruined.”

Breathe.

“You have so much to offer the world.”

Breathe.

“You will fight.”

I back away from the mirror until my back

hits the bathroom door and slide down to the floor.
I look at my bare legs, filled with bruises and cuts
put there unwillingly.

Not by my choice.

Not by my consent.

Mackenzie gave me a piece of paper that

told me to say those words to the girl inside of me
every morning. She doesn’t understand what’s
going on. She thinks she has an idea.

But she doesn’t have a clue.

She also doesn’t know that doing this has

saved me.

She has saved me.

I just hope I live long enough to tell her.

Damon is more possessive and rougher than

ever, pushing the envelope just a little further each
time. Making sure to leave marks, bruises, cuts.
Something to visually leave on my body that he can
take pride in.

Little does he know, I may be broken, but

the fire inside is still there. The flame may be out,
but the coals are still hot. I just need a little wind.

For the last year, I’ve done pushups, squats,

sit ups, really anything I can do, every single night
in my room. Trying to gain as much strength as my
frail frame can. I’m not naive enough to think I can
overpower a man fifteen years my senior, but it
may help. Tonight, he’s planned something
“special”. But so have I.

I look down at my overnight bag. Packing

everything he instructs me to bring, plus the knives.

I don’t know how I’m going to use them, or

if I’ll be a coward and not be able to.

But I do know that I would rather die, than

continue living like this for much longer.

I change into the black dress he bought me.

Pack my bags, making sure to wrap the knives
discreetly. I have one big one, and the rest are
smaller ones I can conceal easily. I slip a
pocketknife into my bra under my arm.

Banging on the door makes me jump and

yelp. The reality of what the next twelve hours

could hold amps up my nerves like crazy, but I try
to keep calm and collected.

“Sweetheart, you ready?” I fucking hate

that nickname.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

I grab my bags and make sure no one can

see my hidden knife and open the bathroom door.

“Wow, you look gorgeous. Let me look at

you.” He takes my shoulders and spins me slowly.
“Tonight is going to be so special. I can’t wait to get
you home.”

I do everything in my power to not gag. I’ve

done it once before and he whipped me bare with a
cane ten times. Never again will I make such a
stupid mistake. I keep my composure and he leads
me out of my house with his hand on the small of
my back. All I want to do is squirm my way out of
it, but I have to keep my calm.

We get in the car and he grabs my hand,

pulling up to the restaurant he took me to the night
he stole the most precious thing I owned. What was
mine to give, but he forced from me.

As we get out, the valet is a younger kid.

Maybe a senior in high school or a freshman in
college. His eyes linger on me too long and Damon
comes behind me and squeezes me to his side.

“Get the fuck out of here, kid.”

His eyes go round and he takes the keys and

runs into the car to park it. Ever since I’ve slowly
developed the last few years, boys have taken more
of an interest. I make sure to disregard any
attention given to me because Damon always
knows. And it’s always my fault.

Damon brings me back to the moment by

squeezing my arm tightly, and I have to bite my lip
from yelping. “Do you know him, Sweetheart?”

I look up at him with a glare, “No, Damon.

I’ve never seen him before.”

“He sure looks like he’s seen you before.”

I shake my head. He is so deranged. How

can someone be so normal for so many years, and
then turn possessive and psychotic?

He drops it and leads me into the restaurant.

He orders us the same meal we had two years ago.
Then the same dessert. My stomach turns and I can
barely eat anything.

When we finish the meal, he pays, and we

head back out to wait for the car. The valet keeps
glancing at me and it’s putting Damon on edge. I’m
trying to silently tell him to stop fucking looking at
me. He leaves to get the car and when he comes
back, he hands the keys to Damon and looks me
dead in the eyes.

“Have a goodnight, beautiful.” Just above a

whisper, but loud enough for Damon to hear.

My eyes go wide as he has just delivered me

a death sentence. Shit.

“I suggest you get the fuck away from her

before I physically remove you, asshole.”

“Hey man, sorry, I was jus-”

Damon grabs him by the collar, “I don’t

care what the hell you were just doing. Get. The.
Fuck. Away.” Then he throws him to the ground
and turns his glare to me.

“Get your ass in the car. Now.”

I scurry into the passenger seat, hands

shaking, heart racing.

I don’t know what tonight holds, but it’s

going to be a shit-show.

◆◆◆

The whole ride home, Damon is quiet.

Eerily quiet. Eerily calm. It’s so unlike him. I
expected grinding teeth, white knuckles and heavy
breathing. But no. He looks calm, cool and
collected on the outside and it’s throwing me off
my game. We pull up into the driveway and he
parks his car. I can’t control my breathing and I’m
about to have a panic attack. His rage and anger is
normal and I know how to handle him when he’s
like that. This is new. I don’t know what to expect
and I’ve never been more terrified of him than I am
right now.

I look at him just sitting in the driver’s seat,

car turned off. Hands resting on each thigh, dressed
in a black suit. Near-shoulder length dark hair
slicked back. Dark eyes gleaming off of the light
from his home. He licks his lips, turns to me and
starts a slow smirk. He leans in towards me, putting
his calm and assured hand up to my cheek.

He whispers softly, “Oh, Sweetheart. You

have no idea what you’re in for tonight.” He cocks

his head. “Are you scared?”

My eyes flutter as I slowly nod my head.

“Good.”

He suddenly moves his hand into my hair

and pulls it hard, and I yelp in shock. He throws my
head back, so he has access to my neck, and he
drags his tongue up my neck, then making his way
back down to the crook of my shoulder and bites.

Hard.

I yell out in pain and tears start streaming

down my face. He pulls away and he has a little
blood on his lips. He fucking drew blood. My fear
amps up to a level I have never felt before. I know
Damon has some sort of evil or demon inside of
him, but I can actually see it in his eyes now.

I’m staring at my very own devil directly in

the eyes.

He yanks my head to his and we are nose to

nose. He drags his nose around my face, testing his
territory.

“This is what is going to happen. You are

going to get out of this car, and you are going to go

straight inside the front door and kneel.
Understand?”

My heart stops and I shake my head.

“Sweetheart, if you disobey, I promise you

will not like the consequences.”

And there’s that word. Like a tight leash

around my throat, it whips me back in line. I nod
my head.

“There’s my girl. Alright, let’s go.”

I get out of the car and I pause, debating on

making a break for it. Think, Talia, think.

Fuck it.

I sprint towards the road. High on the

adrenaline that has just spiked through my body. I
will my legs to move as fast as humanly possible.

“Dammit, Talia!” Then I hear him take off

his jacket before he races after me.

The fucker took his jacket off first. I try to

scream, and nothing comes out.

Nothing. Fucking. Comes. Out.

This is my worst nightmare. He has a long-

ass driveway and I finally reach the road and
decide to go right. Just keep running, Talia. I hear
him gaining on me and I do not look behind.

Never look behind.

I hear his footsteps pounding on the

pavement right behind me and then my voice kicks
in.

I let out a blood-curdling scream right as he

attacks me from behind and tackles me to the
ground. He flips me so I’m on my back and he’s on
top of me and I’m hitting him in every spot I can,
but he gets his hands to my face and covers my
mouth. He grabs a fist full of my hair, lifts my head
up and slams it back down on the pavement.
Excruciating pain fills my entire head and I try to
cry out, but his hand is still over my mouth. I can’t
buck him off of me, he’s too heavy. Then my head
lifts again and he slams it down once more.

No pain this time. Just black.

◆◆◆

Pain.

That’s the first thing I feel when I come

around. The next thing I feel, are the shackles
around my wrists and ankles. I snap my head up
once I realize I’m chained to a chair in a basement.
My head is in excruciating pain but that doesn’t
stop me from trying to free myself. Fear grips me
like a vice around my throat. My head starts
throbbing from unshed tears. The chair must be
bolted down, because it does not move an inch.

Calm down and look around you, Talia. I

look around at the unfinished basement and notice
the ground is concrete, the walls are big bricks, and
it’s one massive open room. There is a work bench
along the wall in front of me with tons of tools. I
look to my right and there is a small mattress, my
overnight bag, and nothing else. I forgot about my
bag, as long as he didn’t go through it, my knives
will still be in there. If only I could get out of these
damn shackles.

The door opens and the devil himself walks

through. “How are you feeling, Sweetheart?” He
asks as if he actually cares. He walks towards me
and kneels down, pressing his palm to my cheek. A
loving gesture for such a hateful man. I turn my
head away from his hand and he ‘tsks’ me.

“I know you’re probably upset. It’s okay to

be upset. But you wouldn’t calm down, I had to do
what I had to do. But you’re home now.”

I look at him in confusion and pure hatred.

“Sweetheart, that was my surprise. You

don’t have to be with Sawyer anymore, I got you
out of there.”

He’s expecting praise and thanks. I have

none to give.

“I know it’s a big change and it’ll take some

getting used to. But you’ll get there.” He brushes
the hair out of my face. “You’ve been mine since
you were six years old, Talia. You’ll always be
mine, Sweetheart. I love you so much.”

I spit blood into his perfectly groomed face

as a big ‘Fuck You’.

He takes a sharp inhale and I see the mask

switch like a light. He grabs my throat and
squeezes.

“Oh, baby. That was the wrong choice.” He

keeps applying pressure and I’m gurgling and
gasping, my eyes start to shut, and he lets go. I take
a deep inhale and then cough like crazy. He walks
behind me and unchains my ankles. My wrists are

still chained together behind me.

“If you decide to behave, I’ll chain you to

the wall by your mattress, which I’m sure is much
more comfortable. But for now, you’ll stay here. I’ll
be back in thirty minutes to see if you’ve decided
to cooperate. Then we’ll get to have some fun.” He
leans in and kisses my lips. I do everything I can
not to gag. He turns to leave and leaves me here,
still chained to this chair.

I try to wiggle around to see if I still feel my

pocketknife, and I do. I can’t do anything about it
right now though, with my hands behind my back.
I’m going to have to wait this out and play along.
But I do know one thing about tonight.

One of us will die.

Chapter 10

Damon enters the room again a little while

later, and I lead off. “I’m sorry I spit in your face.
I’ll be good.”

He smiles at me with his white, straight

teeth. “There’s my girl. I’ve been waiting to have
my way with you. Now that you’re compliant, it
will be so much easier.” He pauses and then stares
me dead in the eye. “But don’t forget, Talia. I like a
good fight. So, if you struggle and fight me? I’ll do
it right back, baby.”

He starts to unchain my hands from the

chair but keeps them behind my back.

“You might be a little wobbly, you’ve been

sitting here for about two hours, so lean on me if
you need to, okay?”

I nod my head at him. It’s so hard to plan an

attack when I have no clue what is going on or

what is going to happen. He leads me out of the
giant open room and into a hallway still in the
basement. There is a door directly across and he
unlocks it. Inside is a carpeted room with red walls.
A massive king size bed sits in the middle of the
room with a big chest at the end of the bed. My
eyes grow, and my hands start shaking. He leads me
to the bed and picks me up as if I weigh nothing
and puts me in the middle of the bed sitting up.

“Please, you don’t have to do this, Damon.”

He chuckles, “I like it when you beg,

Sweetheart.” My fear heightens even more. When
he unchains my hands, I try to fight him, but he
throws me back and pins my wrists down.

“I told you I liked a fight. Already testing

the waters?” He cocks his head at me and scoots up
to pin one of my arms down with his knee and
chains my other to the bed frame, then does the
same with my other arm. He moves down my body
until we are face to face and presses his lips to
mine. I don’t return it. I move my head back and
forth until he grabs my chin in a tight hold and
forces my mouth open. He sticks his tongue in my
mouth and I bite down as hard as I can.

“Ow, you bitch!” And then a slap rings out

and my cheek stings. “I see you’re going to go

about this the hard way. That’s fine, more fun for
me.” He gets off the bed and opens the chest and
pulls out a belt. I start shaking and crying. I kick my
legs at him, trying to break free from the chains
holding my arms up. He grabs ahold of my legs so
tightly, my muscles ache. He chains them down and
then he snaps the belt, and I still in absolute fear.
My dress has moved up my legs practically around
my waist, from trying to fight him off of me. He
walks around the bed, like a lion observing its prey.
Then out of nowhere, he slaps the belt down on top
of my thighs and I scream.

“That’s right, Sweetheart. Scream as loud as

you want.” Then he leans down and whispers in my
ear, “Not one soul will hear you, except me. And I
like your screams.”

I start sobbing and the screams continue, as

he whips every spot on my thighs with the belt.
Welts are raised and they’ve been whipped open.
Blood is dripping down my thighs from being hit in
the same spot too many times. The pain is unlike
anything I’ve ever experienced. I can’t breathe,
and the next whip he lays on my stomach, and I
finally pass out from the pain.

I wake up drowsy, back in the big room on

the small mattress. I’m not chained up, but my
whole body is hurting so much, I can’t move. I can

tell he kept doing what he wanted for long after I
passed out, because I’m so sore between my legs.
I’m completely naked now, which means my knife
isn’t on me anymore. I look down and my legs and
stomach are absolutely heinous. Blood and cuts are
smeared throughout my body. I throw up all over
the floor next to me, then I weep silently into the
mattress. Hopeless. Praying someone, somehow
comes looking for me. Hears me. Decides to visit
Damon. Something.

I’m so tired, but my body can’t fall back

asleep. A few minutes later, the door opens. “Oh
good, you’re awake.”

He comes over to me and my adrenaline

spikes yet again. I will fight my whole way through
this night. I will not give in. I can’t. I start kicking
him as soon as he’s close enough to me. It’s futile,
because I’m so weak, but I give it all I have. He
raises his fist and punches me so hard my vision
blurs.

“That all ya got, Sweetheart?”

I feel blood dripping out of my nose. Being

punched in the face is so much different than your
body. I know what to expect if it’s below my
shoulders, but Sawyer never touched my face.

“I hate you. Don’t touch me, Damon.” I say

through muffled cries.

“Is that any way to treat your host,

Sweetheart?”

He’s over me right now, unchaining my

arms and then pinning them to the mattress.
Somehow, right when he lifts his lower body up, I
raise my knee as fast as I can making contact with
his groin. He instinctively lets go of me and I get up
to run away. He’s too fast though, grabbing my
ankle causing me to fall on the concrete. He slides
me back towards him. I’m screaming, clawing at
the concrete floor, desperate to escape his hold.

“I see we’re due for another lesson, Baby.

You’ll behave eventually.”

He literally drags me by the ankle to the

bedroom he took me into earlier. He picks me up
and throws me up on the bed, but my head makes
contact with the headboard this time. I feel blood
trickle down the back of my neck almost right
away, as it reopened the wound from earlier. I don’t
feel the pain with the energy spiking in my blood
again, though. I hit and claw and scream at the top
of my lungs. He grabs one of my arms and bites my
forearm so hard, I lose my voice. I hear him spit
and look at my arm and he bit off a piece of my

skin when he pulled back, and it’s already bleeding
profusely.

He sits to my side on the bed wiping his

mouth clean of my blood. I use every ounce of
energy in me and kick him in his face as hard as I
can. It hurt like a bitch, but I made perfect contact.
I hop off the bed and run towards the door. Just as I
reach for the handle, he grabs a handful of my hair,
stopping me in my tracks. He walks me forward
and slams my head into the wall.

And it’s black again.

◆◆◆

I wake up drowsy, this time I’m back in the

chair. My ankles are tied down, but my hands are
tied together in front of me, by the grace of God.
My entire body hurts. Everything burns and throbs.
My right eye is swollen shut and my lip is fat and
puffy. My hair is ratted with blood. I look down and
my legs have cuts, bruises and dried blood covering
them. I see bite marks. I see open gashes. And then
I see it. On my right hip bone.

He carved his fucking initials on me. Damon

Xander. I look to the right and throw up once again.
The acid stinging the cuts in my lip. I’m shaky. I’m
dizzy. I have to get the fuck out of here. He moved
my bag this last time I was out, and I see it on the
work bench now.

I look down and see rope is securing my

ankles to the chair. I stay extremely quiet, trying to
hear if he’s coming yet, and I untie my ankles. As
quickly as I can, I run over to my bag and dig
through it. And then the heavens open up.

Bingo.

I grab my pocketknife that extends about

four inches when out, and make my way back to
the chair, lightly securing my ankles back to the
chair. I sit and flip open the knife and start cutting
the underside of the rope binding my hands, and
then wait.

And wait.

There it is. I hear him talking, I think on the

phone, as I don’t hear a second person. Then I hear
the footsteps down the stairs. Then nothing.
Silence. Dead silence. I feel like my heart is beating

so loud the whole world can hear it. It’s racing. This
is the only chance I have.

After what feels like an hour, the door

cracks open and I drop my head. He walks over to
me and lifts my chin.

“How are you feeling, Sweetheart?”

I glare at him through my half-open left eye.

He doesn’t deserve my words.

“Have you really not learned anything

tonight?”

I give him nothing.

“I didn’t want to have to do this, I really

didn’t. But you’re giving me no choice!” He yells
the last part in frustration as he pulls on his hair,
pacing in front of me.

“You think you’re clever? That you can get

out of this? I will make sure you don’t. You’ll lose
everything you’ve ever loved. You think you can
live without me, Sweetheart? You thought fucking
wrong. I will bury you before I let you live without
me.” He growls in my face, spraying spit all over
me. He has completely lost it now, and I’m
terrified.

He goes to his work bench and grabs a

blowtorch.

“Wha-What are you doing?”

“Oh, she can speak! Should have spoken up

sooner, Sweetheart. He flips the switch and pulls
the trigger and I hear the swoosh and see the flame.
Tears flow down my face in fear of what might
happen if I fail.

Then the next sixty seconds happen in slow

motion and hyper-speed at the same time. He
slowly approaches me and lifts the blowtorch to my
thigh. I feel the heat sear my skin, and then I
attack. I lift both of my hands, bringing the knife
down just below his collarbone. He screams and
falls towards me. The blowtorch burning and
blistering my stomach before he’s able to let go of
the trigger, and the flame goes out. I scream in pain
but am focused on the task ahead of me.

I’m on top of him and stab him once again. I

stab him six times in the torso and on the last
puncture, I leave the knife in there. I run out of the
basement and up the stairs. I go to grab the phone,
and I remember he said he flagged his number. I try
anyways, and it goes through. Of course, he lied to
me.

I’m able to say the address before I drop the

phone and see black yet again.

Chapter 11

Fifteen Years Old

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

My eyes flutter open. Where the hell am I?

My vision is blurry. I can only open my left eye. I
try to move and groan in pain. My whole body
hurts.

Then it hits me.

I gasp and sit up, on instinct I grab all of the

wires and try rip them off of my body, when hands
stop me. I jump away from the hands.

Don’t touch me.

“Tali! Stop! Talia!”

That voice.

I calm immediately. “Mac?” Tears start

flowing down my dry face, stinging the cuts on my

cheeks. “Mac, is that you?”

“Yeah, babe.” I hear the sadness in her

voice, “What can I do, Tal? What do you need?” I
can tell she’s crying. I still can’t see out of this dang
eye, though.

I let out a guttural sob in relief that I’m with

her. My hands are shaking and I sink back down to
my bed as Mac gently hugs me. She’s moving the
hair out of my face and is shushing me. I hear
someone else enter the room and gasp into tears,
and I know it’s her mom. They are both consoling
me as I bleed my heart dry of the sorrow. Of the
last nine and a half years of my life.

Tears for every bruise.

Every cut.

Every lie.

Every coercion.

Every moment he spent grooming me to

trust him.

Every time he raped me.

Tears for every word I didn’t speak.

Then I remember. Him.

“Where is he?” I ask frantically. Feeling

nothing but terror for what might lie ahead of me.

Mackenzie’s mom speaks up, “They

brought him in to the hospital, Sweetie, but he
didn’t make it. They pronounced him dead about
thirty minutes after they arrived.”

She moves the hair out of my face, “You

don’t have to be afraid anymore, Baby.” She says
with tears rolling down her beautiful, clean
cheekbones. “I’m so sorry, Tali-babes.”

I shake my head, “Sawyer, he was in on it.

You can’t leave me until they have him. Please
don’t leave me, please don’t leave me. Please. Pl-”
I’m rocking back and forth, squeezing her hand in a
death grip, begging her not to leave my side.

“Talia, I will not leave you. You’re not

alone anymore, Honey. I’m not going anywhere.”
She looks up at Mac and nods, and Mac exits the
room. “Honey, the cops are here. I know it’s hard,
but-”

I shake my head, “No, bring them in. I need

to tell them while everything is still fresh in my
memory.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

I nod my head, “What I have to say may be

hard for you to hear, but I don’t think I can do it if
you leave.”

She squeezes my hand.

“Then I’ll stay. Right here.”

Chapter 12

Present Day

Shattered Glass by Fit For A King is playing

through the speakers. I look at Preston and he gives
me a small, sad half-smile. I listen to the lyrics and
it makes my breath hitch. This song could be a
soundtrack for my life.

I can’t stop.

I can’t stop, my path is set,
All I know is violence.

The accuracy is almost eerie.

I know you’re rotting inside, but no one knows

you’re hurting
You’re searching for light but all you know is
burning
Can’t find the cure for something no one can see
Can’t find the answers when there’s no room left to

breathe

Preston reaches over and squeezes my

hand, and I let him. He knows I had a rough
upbringing, but I don’t think he knows the full
extent of it. Mac’s mom was one of very few
people to know everything, because she was there
when I told the cops. She was there when they
hurried out of the room to arrest Sawyer. She was
there for me during years of therapy.

But she’s gone, too.

The only woman to ever be a mom to me.

Mackenzie knew some. I would talk to her when I
needed. But I never wanted her to feel guilty about
anything. Because Mackenzie was selfless, and she
would have blamed herself for not speaking up.

But she’s gone, too.

We pull up to Black Lotus and run into the

shop since it’s still down pouring. My best guy,
Dunc looks up and his face falls. He immediately
steps out from behind his table and pulls me into a
big bear hug. He’s a 6’3”, 275-pound teddy bear.
His wife is the sweetest 5-foot-tall woman you’ll
ever meet. The visual contrast between them is
hilarious, but they were made for each other.

They are the other few to know.

Because they drew my stories and victories

all over my body, starting when I was seventeen. I
couldn’t stand looking at the scars that covered my
entire body. So, Dunc turned me into a piece of
artwork. And Liss was always there for me.
Holding my hand. Making me laugh. Crying for me.

“Just because your canvas has some rips

and tears, does not make the art any less
beautiful.”

That’s when I, too, fell in love with Liss.

Dunc just smiled at me, knowing how lucky he was.

“Baby girl, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks, Dunc. Liss here?”

“Yeah, let me text her.”

I wipe the tears collecting in my eyes and

give Preston a small smile. Him and Dunc do that
head nod thing guys do and shake hands to greet
each other. Then, I hear Liss come out.

“Talia?” I hear Liss yell into the shop

frantically looking for me. I give her a small smile

and she races over to me wrapping me in a warm
hug.

“What do you need, honey?”

Honey, sweetie, babe, baby... I don’t care,

but never sweetheart.

“Gonna get one for her. The spot I saved.

It’s hers.”

Her and Dunc nod and smile, leading me to

the table. They were going to come to the funeral
but had to cover the shop. I’m pretty sure he left
the afternoon open for me, knowing I would be
here.

I love them.

“What is gonna be, Baby girl?”

“Wings. Color.”

“You got it.”

Preston sits next to me, silent for once in his

life. I’m used to our normal cat and mouse banter,
but this whole situation is throwing both of us off
our game.

“You got time for another after, Tal?”

“Hell yeah, man.”

I smile as Dunc, Liss, Preston and I all talk

about Mac. It takes Dunc quite a while, the wings
are big and go across my upper back, it’s about nine
pm when he finishes, and they couldn’t be any
more perfect. Tears build, and I look at my friends.

“Thank you. This is exactly what I needed.”

I had always left my upper back bare.

Waiting for something special to fill the only place
on my body that was unmarked with scars. Now I
know why, it was always for her. My sister.

Preston takes off his shirt and my heart does

double time. It’s beating so fast and my face is so
red. Then he lays a full Preston-smirk on me, and I
really needed that smirk. It makes it feel like things
are normal again.

But they aren’t.

He gives his back to Dunc, and I look at his

full sleeves, and torso covered in tattoos.
Absolutely beautiful works of art on a beautiful
man. He has three perfectly spaced lines made up
of Roman Numerals on his right shoulder blade. He
gets another line right below those. I look at him in

question and he just lifts an eyebrow at me.

Guess I’ll get that story some other time.

I rub my daisy tattoo on my forearm. The

one that covers the bite mark of the chunk of skin
Damon bit off of my arm. The only colored tattoo
on my body. Mackenzie’s mom and I both loved
daisies, so I tattooed one on my arm in honor of
her, over the ugliest visible scar on my body.

Except my wings for Mac, now. Those are

color.

I look up and Preston is already staring at

me through hooded eyes. Looking at me like I’m
the only person he sees. Like I’m the only person
he wants to see. I deliver the stare right back. Like
he’s the only person I see. Like he’s the only
person I ever want to see. Like he’s the person I
want to be with.

There is something peculiar about denying

yourself love, because of who a person could
potentially be. Who a person used to be. Denying
yourself the love you know they would give you
because you’re afraid they will turn back into a
monster that you never even knew. Putting yourself
through hell anyways for not being with them.

I stare at the man I’ve wanted for years, not

even knowing it was him I wanted for quite a few
of them. I guess the only way for you to
understand…

Is to start at the beginning.

Chapter 13

Seven Years Ago

Ridge’s

“Tal, three o’clock. He’s not taking his eyes

off you.” My friend, Mia, says.

I casually turn around and meet the dark

brown eyes, shaded by an LVFT hat. I know those
eyes. Those are bedroom eyes. I look directly back
at him and give him a slow smirk, then turn back to
my friends.

“Talia Daniels is up to bat, ladies and

gentlemen.” Mac says and we laugh, “Are you
going to go over there, or what?”

“Eventually. Gonna make him sweat it out a

bit.” I wink at my best friend, making her and Mia
laugh.

“Ooh, hard-to-get route. I like it.” She says

as I smile, and we all laugh.

“Don’t know about you girls, but I need

another drink!” I go and grab another round from
our hot bartender. She’s here often and I always tell
her how much of a babe she is. She always rolls her
eyes at me and laughs. She’s got blonde hair and
piercings in her cheeks and some tattoos. My kind
of girl.

“Hey Briar! Can I get another round?”

“For sure, I’ll get ya now.” She smiles at me

and gets our shots. I down mine and when Mac
doesn’t drink hers, I do.

I don’t drink often, but when I do, I like to

have some fun. I never get so drunk I can’t be in
control of a situation though.

Never.

I feel my last shot of the night making me

hella brave. We pick our song for karaoke and
fucking nail it. Performance of the decade if you
ask me.

Mystery man in the back, giving me those

eyes the entire time. Sexy smirk decorating that
gorgeous sharp jaw line. Tattoos covering those
arms.

Gulp.

After a while of dancing with Mia, Mac

comes back to me.

“I’m leaving! I’ll see you Monday!” She

hugs Mia.

“What?! Noooo! We’re just getting star-

Ohh…” I see bakery man behind her. I’d leave if I
were her too. Smart girl, she is.

She hugs me as I tell her, “Don’t do

anything I wouldn’t do!” Which makes her roll her
eyes at me.

Usual.

Mia and I keep dancing, singing and

laughing. At around eleven we are about to leave;
she’s heading home with her man-friend. I’m
almost out the door when I hear a deep bravado
stop me in my tracks.

“Forgetting something?”

I turn around to my mystery man. Damn,

those eyes. Something about brown eyes, they get
me. He has one eyebrow lifted and a playful full-of-
shit smirk on that beautiful face. I want to run my
finger across his jaw to see if it would cut me. I

giggle to myself.

“I don’t know, am I?” I return with my own

eyebrow lifted.

He stalks forward backing me against a

wall, one arm up by my head. He dips down in by
my face.

“Yeah, Angel. You are.”

Holy Hell. This moment is so charged with

sexual tension, I let out a slightly breathy moan. He
brings his lips just a hairs length away from mine.
Close enough to touch, but not quite there. Mine
are already tingling, desperate to know what his
would feel like.

I lick my lips, dragging my teeth over my

bottom lip. Right when I release it, he goes in and
gently bites down on it.

Glory, glory, hallelujah.

He drags his teeth slowly back until my

tongue releases.

“Mine or yours, Angel?”

“Yours.”

He grabs my hand and leads me to the back

of the parking lot to his car. Holy. Fuck.

“Am I seeing things correctly or is that a

Black 1970 Chevelle?”

“Am I seeing things correctly, or did you

just guess my car?”

“Oh God, it’s so… beautiful.” I drag my

finger along it. I lift my eyes and give him a daring
look. I’m a car girl. Mac’s dad made me one. It was
something him and I did to bond. He became a
second dad to me, and this was our thing.

He returns the eyebrow and gives me an

evil glint, he’s toe to toe with me again.

“My Angel is a bit bad, isn’t she?”

I lift up, bringing my nose right to his and

whisper, “I never claimed to be good.”

He growls and devours me. Grabbing the

back of my legs and lifting me up before slamming
me against his car. I grab his hair and our mouths
are fused together. He opens the back door
simultaneously and tosses me in the back seat.

This man just fucking threw me in the back

seat.

Oh, hell yes.

He prowls in after me, but he’s way too big

to do it this way. Besides, I don’t do bottom. I’m in
control. I push him up into a sitting position and
crawl over him. We are frantic, taking clothes off as
fast as we can in between kisses. Once we’re both
free and he has a condom on, my legs are on either
side of his, and I slowly sink down onto him.

I see stars.

Let me preface this situation. I may be on

top, but I am definitely not in control, he is.
Honestly? I feel no fear.

He grabs my hair in a tight fist and yanks

my head back. He finds a spot and sucks on my
neck, traveling his tongue down to my nipple,
latching on. He’s controlling the pace, my
movements. Everything.

And I’ve never came faster.

“That’s it, Angel.” He says through gritted

teeth.

That voice. I shiver over again and it sends

him over the edge.

We both slow, but our breathing is frantic.

Never in my life have I experienced a

connection so charged like this with another
human, and so quickly. I will allow one night with
this man, and that’s it. Because I could see me
getting attached to this one.

And I don’t do well with a man having that

kind of power over me anymore.

“You don’t think we’re done yet, do you,

Angel?”

“I’d be disappointed if we were.”

He smiles at me, our banter feeling natural.

We throw our clothes on and hop in the

front seat to race to his house. Once we’re in his
driveway, we both get out and the moment we
reach his doorstep, it’s like the first time all over
again. He unlocks the door he throws me over his
shoulder and hauls me to his room, throwing me at
the edge of the bed, sliding my pants down.

I stop him on his journey, “I need to say one

thing, so you don’t fuck this up.”

He looks up at me with a questioning look.

Hair an absolute mess from my hands. Damn he’s
sexy.

“If you call me ‘Sweetheart’, I will get up

and leave faster than you can say condom. We
clear?”

“Crystal.”

He’s about to go down on me but stops. It’s

unfortunate.

“I feel like I should’ve covered this, but my

name-”

“Ah, ah, ah, ah.” I place my finger over his

lips. “Nuh-uh. No names.”

He looks shocked and doesn’t have a reply.

So, he does the next best thing.

Gets to fucking work.

Chapter 14

Greyson’s 1st Birthday

3 Years Ago

“Oh my gosh! Talia this is amazing!” My

best friend smiles at me as I bring the dump truck
inspired cake to the door. It’s in the middle of
summer and it’s bloody hot. But Greyson is turning
one today and there is a party to be had. I told Mac
I’m making my Godson’s cake. No option, I will
handcuff her if she tries.

“Hey, Bitch. You look gorgeous! Damn,

you’re glowing!” And she does. She’s in a cream
off-the-shoulder top that only comes down right
below her boobs, with a cream, boho high-waisted
skirt. Only showing a sliver of skin. She’s tan and
absolutely gorgeous.

I can’t get over her naturally blonde hair

now. Sometimes hair grows back different after
cancer, and my best friend is now a hot blonde.

“Oh, whatever. You’re lucky I’m not naked,

it’s too dang hot.” I laugh at her.

“Tali-babes, you look amazing. It’s because

Preston is gonna be here, huh?”

I wink at her, “Maybe. I’ve only been

waiting four damn years to meet the guy.” I say as I
smooth my light blue lace, strapless sundress with
peekaboo holes cut out around my sides,
showcasing my artwork. My long black hair is in a
loose, messy braid.

She shrugs as family and friends are running

around, laughing and playing games. Balloons and
streamers are hung all over the house. They were
going to do it outside…

But AC trumps heat.

“He travels like crazy for work. He’s hardly

ever here. And when he is, it’s for like 8 hours.
We’re even lucky to see him.”

I change the subject, “Where’s my little-

man? Aunt Tali has surprises for him!” I say
rubbing my hands back and forth, making her laugh
while Ryland comes up from behind, hugging her.

“Have I told you, you look sexy as hell

today, Baby?” He nibbles her ear. I want to
disappear, so I don’t have to witness their suck-fest,

and she forgets I’m standing in front of her
anyways.

“You have, but tell me again.”

“You look sexy as hell today, Baby.”

I make a gagging sound and they both look

at me and laugh.

“Hey Tal, you look beautiful, too.” He says

with a wink. “Planning on busting some balls
today?” Ryland says as he gives me a hug.

“Can’t a girl look good for herself? Damn…

But yes, I do plan on doing so. Now, where is that
fat baby. I got cheeks to kiss.”

“I think Richard has him.”

Bingo. I go and search for Ryland’s dad,

and when I spot him, I make my way.

“Sorry, Mr. Bennett. Aunt Tali has some

loving to give.” I say as I take my favorite fat baby
out of his arms. Greyson comes willingly, clapping
his hands.

“Tata! Tata!” And gives me a kiss.

My heart melts. I love this kid so freaking

much. I babysit and take him out as much as Ry
and Mac let me. My little squish.

“Hi, squish! How are you, Bud?” I say

smothering him with kisses, making him giggle like
crazy.

“Wanna go see your cake?!”

nods

his

head

and

down

enthusiastically.

“Wow! Tata! Boon!” He says pointing to all

the balloons as I make my way into the kitchen.

I show him his cake and he loves it. I made

him a mini cupcake to sneak. A pre-game to the
cake if ya get what I mean. As I’m trying to clean
the evidence off of his face before his parents catch
me, I hear the front door open.

“Where’s my little dude?!” I hear a deep

bravado right outside the kitchen.

I feel that voice in all the right spots at such

a wrong time.

No fucking way.

“Preston!” I hear Mac say from the living

room.

“Ah, my favorite girl! Where’s Ry, I’m

gonna wait and give you all my compliments when
he’s here just to piss him off.”

I hear her hit his arm. Or his chest. Not sure.

“You’re awful.” She laughs, “Ry! Pres is here!”

A moment later I hear Ryland, “Preston! So

good to see you! Damn, we don’t get to enough.” I
hear them do that handshake-one arm-backslap-hug
thing guys always do. I’m trying to busy myself
cleaning Greyson’s face and hands, even though
they were clean 2 minutes ago. If it’s not him? Then
I worried for nothing, no harm no foul.

If it is him?

Then… I don’t even know. I’ve thought

about him for four years. That’s how much of an
imprint he left on me. That night after Ridge’s is
engrained in my memory for the rest of time. I
think I got thirty minutes of sleep before I snuck
out and ordered an Uber. Never to see him again.

Until now.

“Talia!” My heart is beating like crazy. I

take a deep breath and put my confidence back

where it belongs.

I grab my little squish, turn around and walk

the five steps out of the kitchen to see them.

His medium length hair is pushed back on

his head by his Ray bans. He’s in a white linen
button-up and black shorts, with white running
shoes.

Tan.

Tattoos.

Delicious.

He was talking to Ryland, so once I stepped

forward, the wide white smile he was wearing as he
turned his head to me, completely disappeared once
his eyes met mine. They widened and I see his
throat bob.

Oh, yeah. He remembers me. At least I

wasn’t the only one.

“Preston, this is Talia. Talia, Preston.”

I put a smirk on my face.

“So nice to meet you, Preston.” I say with

my hand out to shake.

He envelopes mine with his and it feels like

Christmas morning. He gives me that beautiful
arched eyebrow and his own playful smile.

“I can assure you; the pleasure was all

mine.” He winks when Ry and Mac give each other
a look.

I see what he did there. We play it coy for

the next forty-five minutes and watch Greyson
blow out his candles, open his presents, and run
around the house soaking up the attention. We send
each other every wink, smirk, smile and glance,
giving away what’s on our mind. Every memory,
burned there, nowhere to go.

I’m in the kitchen cleaning up so Mac can

enjoy the day with her son, and I feel him behind
me.

“Angel.”

I smile at his nickname and turn around.

“I can’t believe it’s you.” I say with a slight

shake to my head and a light, humorous smile on
my lips.

“How is it possible you look even better

than I remember?”

“I could say the same.”

“I can’t believe you remember.” He

whispers in awe, eyes roaming my entire face.

“I couldn’t forget if I wanted to.”

He slowly licks his lips, and my eyes

automatically glance down to them. He smiles
knowingly. “See me later.”

He states it, not a question. A statement.

I click my tongue. “Sorry, I’m busy.”

His eyebrows draw up, and he cages me in

against the counter. “What will it take to change
your mind?”

I look at his eyes, then his lips, then back to

his eyes. “Guess you’re just gonna have to figure
that one out.” He smiles in humor and straightens
up; I turn and walk into the living room to join
everyone else. Taking one more look back, and he’s
already watching me. An up-to-no-good smile
gracing his face, looking at me with those same
hooded eyes as four years ago.

They say one thing.

No getting away this time, Angel.

Chapter 15

Ding.

I put down the mixing bowl and wipe the

flour off of my hands and look at my phone.

Unknown: Angel.

I feel myself smile.

Talia: Who is this?

Preston: Funny. You’ve got jokes, Angel.

Talia: I’ve been known for my humor.

Preston: Humble too.

Talia: ;) How’d you get my number, creepy

man?

Preston: I asked Ryland for it. Then when he

said no, I threatened him.

Talia: HA. I bet you’re harmless.

Preston: I only bite when asked. ;)

Queue the memories. Inappropriate feelings

going on in my kitchen.

Preston: You’re thinking about it too, aren’t

you?

Talia: Of course not. I’m baking. Focused on

mixing shit.

Preston: You really do have jokes.

Preston: I’ve thought about it for four years,

Angel.

Talia: I mean… it was alright.

Preston: Bullshit

Talia: Okay, I have too. That what you want to

hear?

Preston: That among other things. Go out with

me.

Talia: Gonna have to try harder than that, pretty

boy.

Preston: Okay, now you have me laughing.

Talia: ;)

Preston: See you soon, Angel.

I laugh to myself. Enjoying this giddy

feeling that I’ve never felt before. I spent countless
hours in therapy when I got out of the hospital.
Mackenzie’s parents became my guardians, and I
truly had never felt more thankful or lucky to have
them. Therapy was monumental for me. I’ve never
had a wallowing type of personality, but I had
absolutely no self-esteem. I used to say that Claire,
my therapist, put me back together. But she always
reminded me that I did that. I had the power to do
that, I just didn’t have the tools, so she showed me
them.

And I did, I put myself back together. Piece

by piece.

Then there was Danny.

Danny was the other monumental tool in

my healing. I met him through therapy, both
surviving abusive childhoods, and we clicked
immediately. He was an outlet I could talk to that
actually understood every feeling I had. Every
emotion.

He was the first person I had been intimate

with after that night. I was eighteen years old. He
was nineteen. I wouldn’t have trusted anyone else
to help show me what it was supposed to be like.

We have a very… strange relationship.

Although we had a sexual relationship for two
years… we knew it would never go further. We
always knew we would only be friends. But we
knew we could help heal each other.

So, we did.

He ended up getting an awesome job out in

Oregon, and eventually married a few years later.
We still keep in contact, but now he’s like a brother
figure, and I absolutely adore his wife.

Like I said, weird but he’s an important

piece of my puzzle and the reason I’m able to be
confident today with my body.

I get back to baking and once I’m finished, I

head in the office and go through my mail, file
some documents, check our marketing campaigns
and put the next weeks schedule together. This
bakery is my baby. Something I was able to put my
heart and soul into. Something I wouldn’t have
without Mac’s parents.

When they passed, they left their money to

Mac and her little sister, but since her little sister
passed, Mac inherited her portion. But then when I
was called into the room to go over the will, they
amended it and added me in there. I don’t know
what I did to deserve them, but I’m the luckiest girl
in the world that Mac never gave up on me.

So, we packed up, moved to Charleston and

I opened the bakery. Mac and I made the perfect
team. Everything fell together perfectly. We lived
together for a long time and then I wanted to try
and get my own space. It was a huge part of my
recovery that I put off for a long time, and I was
terrified at first, but I’m okay now. I take Krav
Maga and Jiu Jitsu two or three times a week, and I
have multiple locks on all my doors and windows. I
may check them several times, but it’s the one tic I
let myself have. You can never be too safe.

I decide to call Mac on my way home.

“Tali-babes!”

“Hey Big Mac. Tell that ogre of a husband

of yours to stop giving out my number.” I laugh.

“Hey, threats were involved. He knows

where to shoot his shot, that’s all I’ll say.” He says
over the speaker phone.

We all laugh.

“How’s the trip? How’s my squish?”

“Great! He’s sleeping right now. We’re

gonna take him to the water park when he wakes
up.”

“Awe, my fat baby in a swimsuit! Send me

lots of pictures!”

Mac laughs, “We will. Love you, Tal!”

“Love you guys, too. Have fun.”

They left the day after Greyson’s birthday

party on a little getaway. They deserve it. They’ve
been through a lot. I look at the clock and I have
about thirty minutes till BJJ, so I change, make a
protein shake and head off to kick some ass.

◆◆◆

I just sit down to eat dinner, self-defense

class killed me yesterday and I’m so damn sore.
Right when I sit down and turn on Netflix, there’s a
knock on my door. I freeze immediately, Mac
always texts before she comes, and no one else
comes over. Fear snakes down my spine. Irrational,
but I can’t help it. Then my phone beeps.

Mac: It’s me. Sorry, I forgot to press send that I

was coming over!

I take a deep breath in relief and get up to

get the door.

“You scared the hell out of me, and you

don’t even have my favorite fat baby?” I scoff and
open the door for her to come in.

She smiles, “He’s technically a toddler now

that he’s one.”

“He’s always gonna be my fat baby. Even

when he’s grown and has a six pack.”

She smiles, and then twists her wedding

ring.

I rub my daisy tattoo; she twists her ring.

Those are our tells.

“Alright, what’s going on?”

“Um, sit down, Tal. I wanted to talk to you

about something.”

I freeze. “It’s not back is it?”

“No! No. God, I’m sorry. No, I’m healthy.”

I exhale in relief. “You scared the fuck out

of me.”

“Sorry.” She shakes her head. “So, I was

talking to Ry, and I didn’t know any of this until
now. I don’t know why he didn’t tell me sooner; we
had a whole fight over it. Then make-up sex, which
was-”

“Mac. Spit it out.” I laugh.

“Right. Okay, so I feel like I need to talk to

you about Preston. With your… past and all.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s had… drug problems, Tal.” She says

with a twist to her lips. I told her he was the one

from Ridge’s and she died laughing. She knows
how I’ve always been hung up over mystery man,
and to find out it was Preston? Let’s just say she
was excited.

But that excitement just died.

“I see.”

“I’m sorry, Tal.”

“Is he sober?”

“Ryland says he’s been sober for a very

long time. He had a few slips when he was younger,
and he still talks to his sponsor regularly. But he’s
been clean for years now. I guess it started when he
was seventeen and had an injury. His dad was also
an addict. I don’t know the full story, just that.”

I nod my head, decision already made.

“Thanks for telling me, Mac.” I give her a

sad smile and she grabs my hand.

“Of course. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“I’d stay and eat your dinner, but I have a

pile of smelly baby clothes to wash. See how

domesticated I am?”

I laugh and shake my head, “I swear your

mom just came out of your mouth.”

She gives me a big smile, “Thanks, Tali-

babes.”

“Of course.”

She leaves and I lock my door and check it

three times. Then return to my couch and stare at
the dinner that no longer looks appetizing. I feel a
weight of sadness in my chest, settling in. Not
wanting to accept the hand I’ve been dealt, yet
again.

The man I’ve wanted for four years, the

only man I’ve ever yearned for, can never be mine.

Chapter 16

I am in an absolutely rotten mood.

Preston has texted a few times, playfully

teasing, then wondering why the hell I’m not
responding. The wound is still fresh and I’m not
going to keep picking the scab. All it does is
prolong the healing, and I need to heal the pride
and hope that have been hurt in this one.

Imagine being hung up on a figment of your

imagination for four years, finally coming face-to-
face, just to be torn down before you even get
another taste.

Ouch.

It’s two pm and I sent home Brooke, one of

my workers. I’d prefer to bake and blast my music
in a desolate state. I’m in the back and I hear
banging on the front door. I draw my eyebrows
together wondering what the hell is going on. Our

hours are posted on the door, surely, they can see it
literally in front of their face. I wipe off my hands
and make my way up front.

I see a delicious looking, yet forbidden,

specimen of a man looking for me. He’s wearing his
sunglasses so I’m unfortunate to not be able to see
those hooded bedroom eyes, that I’ve no doubt are
glaring at me.

I do a big sigh and unlock the front door and

open it. He walks right in.

“Sure, come in.” I say as I lock the door

again.

“Angel.” I turn around and he’s pushed his

Ray bans into his hair on top of his head and he
already has that impatient eyebrow lifted at me.

“Mind explaining to me why you’re

ignoring me?”

“Mind explaining to me why you’ve tracked

me down for this?”

“Yeah, I want answers.”

I sigh and wipe my forehead, then I rub my

daisy tattoo as I confess, “Whatever this is, isn’t

going to work, Preston.”

“And why is that?” He’s stalking towards

me.

I’m on edge, but not in fear. Oh no. I’m on

edge because of the lust coursing through my veins.

“I don’t have to explain anything to you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Angel. You

think after years of always looking for you in the
back of my mind, all over the world, that I’m going
to accept that answer?” He clicks his tongue. “Not
gonna happen. Now that I have you in front of me?
Close enough to devour you the way I want to? A
taste I’ve not had in four years… I’m starving,
Angel.”

He’s right in front of me now, backed up

against the bookcase.

Bookcase sex. Holy shit, there’s a new

fantasy. Focus, Talia.

I swallow the drool pooling in my mouth,

licking my lips.

“Trust me, Preston. I’ve wanted nothing

more than to taste you for the last four years. You

think I don’t want this? I do. I fucking do. But I
can’t, and you’re just going to have to accept that.”

He scoffs, “That’s a no-can-do. I’ll give you

some space, but that’s it.” He stands to leave. “See
you soon, Angel.”

Once he walks out the door, I let out the

breath I was holding and sink to the floor. I don’t
cry too often, but I feel tears knocking walls down
to make their way out. My head hurts from holding
them back.

That’s the funny thing about what your

heart wants, and what your brain thinks you need.
Your heart tells you where you want to go, and
your brain tells you where you should go. It’s up to
you, a decision that will either make or break you.
Protect one or the other. It will either fall together
or fold, and you won’t know until it’s too late.

A chance I wish I was brave enough to take.

Chapter 17

3 Months Later

October

Preston: I bet you have morning breath.

Talia: I’m flipping you off right now.

Preston: Angel is feisty today.

Talia: Please. I’m always feisty.

Preston: Go out with me.

Talia: NO.

Preston: So, you’re saying there’s a chance??

I smile at the fact he just used my favorite

movie quote. Ever.

Talia: Unfair. Now you’re using my lines against

me?

Preston: If I would have told you where we

would be going, it would’ve been a shoe-in.

Talia: Yeah, okay.

Preston: Fine. I’ll wave to you when the camera

pans over me on the Panther sidelines. I’ll even
blow ya a kiss.

Talia: …

Talia: Wait, what…

Talia: Preston motha-fuckin Taylor. Don’t be

lying to me.

Preston: I never lie.

Talia: UGGGHHHH

Preston: We can even go as friends, idc. JUST

GO WITH ME, DAMMIT.

Fuck it.

Talia: Alriiiight.

Preston: HELL YEAH, ANGEL.

Talia: I’m flipping you off right now.

Preston: I’m licking that finger right now.

Talia: Perv.

Preston: ;)

Preston: Sunday. Be ready at ten. Want me to

pick you up at the bakery?

Talia: Yeah, sounds good. Thank you.

He knows I’m weird about where I live, so I

appreciate that he offered to pick me up at the
bakery. The last three months he’s become a
welcome annoyance. He’s actually kind of funny. I
look forward to our texts back and forth, they
almost always make me smile.

Okay, they do every time. Whatever.

Doesn’t change anything. It’s kind of nice he
travels so much for work, because then I’m not
tempted by his face in person when he’s feeling
stalky. Rather, he texts all the time. Much easier to
play it cool.

I’m experimenting in the kitchen today; I

blast Loner by Yungblud and get back at it. I’m

testing recipes for the Christmas season. After
about thirty tries, I finally perfect a cupcake that
tastes like a thin mint. It’s so good, it’s mental. I
pick up my phone and make a call on speaker.

I hear giggles first, “Stop it, Ry.” She

whispers, followed by more giggles, “Hi, Ta-Tali-
babes.”

“Oh Lord, what are you doing? WAIT, don’t

answer that. I just need to know if you told Preston
that I’m obsessed with the Panthers?”

More giggles and a sigh, I’m gonna puke. “I,

uh, yeah, sorry.”

“I’m gonna get you back, bitch. Now I’m

getting off the phone, you two are worse than
teenagers.”

“Love you, bye!” Then she hangs up.

I laugh and shake my head. Kids.

◆◆◆

I park in the back of the bakery and Preston

is already here, leaning against that sexy car. I
smile, holding back laughter and wave at him. He’s

wearing a Panthers sweatshirt and beanie, black
Adidas sweats and white sneakers. And those sexy
sunglasses he’s always wearing. He gives me a big
smile when he sees my outfit.

We’re wearing the same fucking thing.

I finally let out my laughter and he busts out

laughing, and I even have to wipe away tears, we
laugh that hard.

“Were you watching me get dressed this

morning? The fuck?” I laugh, teasing him.

“Psh. I wish.”

I roll my eyes. I hop in the car, jittery with

excitement.

“You look gorgeous, Angel.” I raise my

eyebrow at him.

“Friends can complement each other.

Besides, you look too good not to compliment.” He
licks his lips.

I bite back my smile and shake my head at

him.

“I know we’re both metal heads, which I

appreciate about you by the way. But game-day
means trap music.”

I laugh, “I’m down with that.”

He awards me a gorgeous white smile that

makes me dizzy. It’s that pretty. We stop and grab
drive-through breakfast and a bunch of snacks.
Then when we’re on the road, he cranks up Run It
Up by DDG followed by the sickest playlist. We
laugh, dance and rap the whole 3.5-hour car ride. I
don’t know the last time I’ve had this much fun.
When we finally make it to Charlotte, we park and
head for the stadium. He takes a back entrance and
we skip all the lines, showing people our badges.

“Do you have special privileges or

something?” I tease.

He winks, “Or something.”

Damn, he’s pretty. That brown hair, those

brown eyes, those tattoos.

Breathe, ya horn dog.

He grabs my hand to lead me through the

crowd, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t get
butterflies. It’s like my hand fits perfectly in his.
We make it to our seats and holy shit. I could lick

the quarterback from here.

“Preston, seriously? This is insane! I can

smell the sweat!”

“You’re welcome… I think?” He looks

grossed out.

“Seriously, this is awesome! Thank you so

much!” I say jumping up and down.

They kick off and we spend the next five

hours yelling, cheering, laughing, booing and
smiling. We win in overtime, beating the Packers.

I hate the Packers. A hatred we both have

in common. We scream and I jump into his arms,
our fists pumping screaming in happiness.

“Oh my gosh, I’m on such a high right

now!”

“I have one more surprise for you, Angel.”

I look at him in confusion, and he puts an

evil smirk on. I give him a ‘what the hell are you up
to?’ look and he laughs.

“Follow me.”

He grabs my hand and we go out the same

exit as everyone, but we go through a door that
security let us in, and I stop in my tracks.

Holy Shit.

My mouth is open wide, and I can’t breathe.

He laughs. He laughs. Cam Newton laughs

at me.

“Holy Hell.”

“Hi, Talia. Nice to meet you. I’d give you a

hug but I’m sweaty.”

“I really, really don’t mind.” I say then I

plow into him and give him a hug. He’s so tall. I
look back at Preston and he has a new smile on his
face. One I’ve not been blessed with yet. I can’t
place what it means yet. But he looks… happy,
content even.

We all chat for about thirty minutes before

Cam has to leave, and we make our way back to
the car. I can’t speak I’m still in shock. We get into
the car and before we leave, I put my hand on his
to stop him from starting the car. I look him in the
eyes. My blues to his browns.

“Thank you so much, Pres. Seriously. This

has been… a dream today.”

He shrugs, “Pretty sure I’d do anything to

see you smile the way you did today, Angel.”

There it is. The tension. The same thick

tension as four years ago. My heart is racing, and
my hands are clammy. My breathing is rushed in
anticipation. My eyes drop to his lips and his do the
same to mine. His hand comes to my face and he
does that lip lick/bite thing that drives me wild.

He’s slowly leaning in as he says, “I just

need to see…”

And his lips touch mine. We don’t move,

just let our lips reunite, as if they’ve been deployed
and now, they’re home. Our lips part, and then he
follows it with a shorter lingering kiss before resting
his forehead against mine.

“I’ve missed this for so long…”

He’s about to kiss me again, but I put my

hand on his cheek and shake my head in regret.

“I’m sorry, Pres. You don’t know how badly

I want you. Want this. But I just… I can’t.”

“Why? I don’t get it. You know you can tell

me anything, right? Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

I look out of the window and sigh, leaning

back into my seat, laying my head back on the
headrest as he starts our journey home.

“Preston, what I’m about to tell you is very

ugly. It’s the worst of me. I keep it very private. It
scares me to share, not only because I don’t like
talking about it, but because I like this playful
dynamic we have between us, and I don’t want you
to look at me differently. I know it’s selfish,
because I keep saying this can’t go anywhere, but I
think you’ll understand why if I tell you.” I turn to
look him in the eye, “Think you can handle it?”

His face turns serious, “Talia, if you think

for one minute that what you’re about to tell me
could take away the beauty I see in you, then I’ve
not done enough to show you how I feel about
you.”

I give him a small smile, not letting him

know how much those words mean to me. How
much I wanted them. I sigh, and start talking,
starting from when I was six, to the day I appeared
in court to testify against my dad, to the countless
hours of therapy. He gripped the wheel in anger,
cried for me when I cried, and gave me a sad but
proud smile when I told him how I survived. I even

told him about Danny. I was expecting jealousy,
anger or judgment about my relationship with him.
But no. He graced me with the most beautiful
words he could have.

“I’m really glad you had him, Angel.”

◆◆◆

“Thank you.” I look at him with an

appreciative smile, “For not judging. Or making me
feel… I don’t know. Dirty?”

“That’s because you’re not, Angel. You’re

whole, pure. Fucking gold.” Then he scoffs, “I’d
bury anyone who’d say otherwise.”

I give a soft laugh. “So yeah, that’s why I

can’t be with you.”

“Why you won’t let yourself be with me,

you mean.”

“No, I can’t. I-”

“No, Angel. This is all in your head. You’ve

convinced yourself, on some preconceived notion
that Ryland must’ve told you, that I’m too…
dangerous, reckless. No, you’ve not even given me
the chance to show you the kind of person I am.

The kind of person I’ve fought to be. The kind of
person that would vow to never make you feel less
than treasured. No. You’ve already put me in a
category that I’ve not been in, in years.”

I swallow, taking in his words. The irrational

side of me knows I may have put him in a category
he doesn’t quite belong in, but the fear of relapse is
too great. I can’t live with another addict. I can’t do
it.

Then the other side of me knows what we

could be like. Knows we would shine like a
firework in the night sky. The spark burning hot to
shoot off and explode. Raining down beautiful
colors and love on everything we touch. The magic
of it outweighing any looming danger.

He clears his throat, “Are you even going to

ask my story? Or are you just going to keep your
assumption of me, Talia?”

I can hear the frustration in his voice, but

something tells me it’s not directed at me. He’s
ashamed of his past, and he’s frustrated he even has
to explain that he has one.

He starts before I have the chance to speak,

“I know what it’s like living with an addict. I grew
up with them. Stealing money, anything for a pill.

They lie, cheat, do anything they can to relieve the
pain that comes without the next pill. It wasn’t
even about the high, it was about not feeling. Even
if they had a little boy, desperate for parents to love
him enough to put him before the pills for once.
Desperate for parents to just love him.” He licks his
lip and shakes his head.

“Sports were my outlet. I played every

single sport there was that I could play, year-round.
Football in the Fall, Basketball in the winter,
Baseball in the spring. I made sure I was busy,
anything to not go home. I was good, too. Damn
good. I had scouts looking at me my sophomore
year. Not being cocky, it was just that I made sports
my life. I made sure I had good grades because I
never wanted to risk not being able to play.”

He takes a deep breath, “My senior year. I

was quarterback and it was at State. Final game.
None of my guys were open, but I knew I needed
to get rid of the ball, and I did. It was a beautiful
throw-turned-touchdown that won us the game. But
I got sacked long after the play. Broke my
collarbone.”

We pull into the bakery driveway, but we’re

not done talking. “It ruined me, Talia. Everything
was taken from me that night. Colleges didn’t want
me with a broken collarbone. I was out for the

basketball season. By the time baseball came
around, I was already addicted to narcotics, barely
making my grades. The detrimental loss of what I
love, my future, mixed with the physical pain. The
pills dulled it. So, I took my parents’ when I ran out.
Then I didn’t stop taking them. Soon I needed them
to avoid getting sick from withdrawal. Needed it to
function. I understood why my parents loved the
small white demons more than their son.” He looks
out the window, rubbing his jaw, “One of my
buddies found out after we graduated and got me
into a program. I’ve had two relapses, and they
were shortly after rehab. I’ve not touched a pill
since I was twenty, Talia. That doesn’t mean the
craving is gone, because it’s not. It’s not what it
was, but it does hit occasionally, I won’t lie. But I
have a sponsor, and I can identify what in my life
can be triggering it.”

He turns to look at me. “Look, Angel. I get

it if you can’t handle it. I do. And if you can’t, I’ll
respect that. It sucks, but I’ll respect it. You’ve
been through so much shit that no one, especially
you, deserves to go through.” He looks at me with a
sad smile. “You’re a remarkable woman, Talia
Daniels. Don’t ever let anyone, even you, question
that.”

He brings his hand to my cheek and I take a

deep sigh and nuzzle into it.

“I’m sorry, Pres.” I lick my lips, emotion

welling through me.

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. You

don’t have to.” He gives me a sad smile. “But if
you ever change your mind, you better tell me the
fucking minute you do it.”

A laugh bubbles out, shaking my head at

how easy it is for him to spin me into a fit of
giggles.

“I will do that.” I say, a faded smile

decorating my face. “Preston?”

“Yeah, Angel?”

“Things don’t have to change. We can

still… hang out, go to football games. Text.
Whatever. I just can’t take it further.”

“I’m not known to back off of something I

want. I still want you. I’ll respect your wishes, but
don’t think I’m not going to try an tempt you every
chance I get.” He ends with a wink and I roll my
eyes at him.

“When do you leave next?”

“Tomorrow morning. I have a huge six-

week audit in Portland, then I’m home for a few
days before I turn around for my next one.”

I nod my head; sad I won’t see him for so

long. He has a great job, traveling around the
country auditing and teaching training camps for
law enforcement departments.

“Travel safe. And thank you, for today. It

was… amazing. I had so much fun.”

“Me too, Angel.”

I go to get out of the car, and I hear him

speak up. “Talia? Everything you told me today…
All it did was prove my instincts about you, right.
You’re strong as hell, beautiful, and braver than
anyone I’ve ever met. I’m proud of you for making
it through that and being where you are today.
Just… just know that. You have me in your corner.”

“Thanks, Preston.” I say, biting my bottom

lip in shyness. “Have a good trip.” I shut the door
and make my way to my car. I drive home in
silence, death grip on the wheel. The moment I
make it into my apartment, I fall to the floor and let
the tears fall down my face.

The man of my dreams has the past of my

nightmares. All I want to do is wake up, so I can be
with him.

Chapter 18

10 Months Later

August

I have very mixed feelings about my

birthday. The memory of it comes with fear,
anxiety, stress and disgust.

Seventeen years ago, was the first time I

was sexually abused. The birth of an entirely
different girl. I can’t help but mourn for her. What
she had to endure for the next two years,
physically, and the rest of her life, mentally.
Mackenzie’s parents always did their best to
distract me, take us out, do fun things. But it’s a
day I’ve never felt right celebrating. It feels dirty.

And that’s exactly what today is. Dirty

thirty.

I cringe, but I feel like my thirties are going

to be monumental for me. I’ve grown, my business
is successfully established. I know who I am, what I
like.

Just one thing is missing.

Him.

Preston texts me often. Teasing, joking,

sending me pictures of wherever he is at that time.
He had a fling for a month or two a while back and
I completely stopped communicating. It hurt too
much to see another girl bask in the affection I so
desperately wanted.

I start my Kitchen aid mixer, making my

own funfetti birthday cake, my favorite. Right
when it’s done mixing, my phone chimes.

Preston: Knock, knock, Angel. ;)

Talia: Who’s there?

Preston: No, doofus. I’m here, open the door.

Talia: NO WAY.

I run to the front of the bakery and see the

God-like figure of a man standing there, waiting for
me. He’s in a cutoff that basically shows his
entirely sculpted core, black shorts and white
sneakers.

Yum.

I open the door and jump into his arms.

“What the hell are you doing here?! You

look great!”

“Please, don’t’ stop the compliments,

Angel. Keep em’ coming.”

I smack his chest and he pulls me to him

again giving me a hug. This is us. It became normal
at some point. I can’t quite pinpoint when it did,
but it’s fun, and funny and light, and everything I
need.

“You compliment yourself enough.”

“Have you seen this face? Hard not too,

Babe.”

I roll my eyes. “I didn’t know you were in

town.”

“Think I’d miss my best girls dirty thirty?

Come on.”

I freeze. “I don’t really like celebrating my

birthday. Or making a big deal of it, I guess.” I
shrug my shoulders, rubbing my tattoo, kicking and

imaginary piece of lint on the ground.

“Nuh-uh. Not anymore.”

I raise my eyebrow in question.

“Nope. Your birthday deserves to be

celebrated. You will not give those bastards
anymore hold over you than you already have
given them.” Then he pulls out a box wrapped in
black and gold paper.

“You got me a present?!”

A big smile takes over my face. “Hell yeah,

I did. Open it.”

I take it out of his hand and tear open the

paper to a velvet box. I raise my eyebrow at him
and now he’s rolling his eyes at me.

“Just open the damn thing, before I feel

stupid.”

I open it up and it’s a thin silver chain of a

necklace with a small, dainty lock on it.

“This is beautiful. Thank you, Preston.

Really, I love it.”

He gives me a shy smirk, and motions for

me to come there. He takes the box and I turn
around and lift my hair out of the way.

“There was also a key to the lock that came

with it. But I took it off.” He says it so matter-of-
factly.

“What? Why would you do that?”

“Because if anyone gets to have a hold on

you, I want it to be me.”

I turn around immediately and stare into

those gorgeous brown eyes. He’s making this so
hard and I’m at my limits end with saying no to
this. I grab the lock around my neck and rub it, a
smile growing on my face.

“Pack your shit we have a long drive ahead

of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a surprise. We’re gonna be back hella

late, so let’s go change and go.”

“I uh, kind of own a business.”

“Mac has it covered.”

I give him a suspicious look.

“Ugh, you’re making me ruin it. Okay. Two

words. Pre and Season.”

I jump up and down, screaming in

excitement and book it to the kitchen to grab my
shit so I can go home and change. “I could kiss you
right now, Pres!”

“Damn, please do. I don’t want to wait

another four years.”

I wink at him and let him take me to my

house. He’s officially entered the trust territory of
knowing where I live. I grab my bag and we make
the trek to go watch the Panthers Preseason game.
I’m bouncing in excitement. I threw on black cut
off jean shorts, and my Panthers tank top. It’s still
hot as hell out, so I grab a hair-tie and my shades, a
light jacket, and call it good.

I walk out of my house and he is leaning

against his car, and he’s changed too.

“Did you change out here?”

“Yeah, I almost broke an ankle doing it, too.

You look hot as fuck.”

“Such a charmer.”

“Whatever gets the point across.”

We both chuckle and hop in the car,

stopping to grab snacks and drinks, then on the
road blasting music. Keeping the tradition and
blaring DDG, the windows are down and we’re just
having fun. I feel like I’m turning twenty-one
instead of thirty. Only Preston has the ability to
make me feel like this. I look over to him, resting
my head back.

“Thank you, Pres. Really. Thank you.”

He returns my gaze and gives me the

dreamiest, sweetest smile, pearly whites shining,
before he returns his eyes back to the road. He rubs
his jaw between his thumb and forefingers.

“I’d do anything for you, Angel,” He looks

at me again. “Don’t you know that yet?”

I give him a small smile and shake my head.

Then Trophies by Young Money and Drake come
on and he turns it up, continuing our car jam
session. We get to the game, sideline seats again,
and have an absolute blast. Panthers won and we’re
riding cloud nine for the rest of the night.

This is a birthday for the books.

Chapter 19

6 Months Later

February

“I don’t get why he’s bringing her.”

Mac scoffs at me. “Maybe because she’s his

girlfriend, and it’s his birthday party?” She looks at
me questioningly, “What is your deal? What’s going
on?”

I give her my best exasperating expression

and she shakes her head at me. “Tali-babes, you
told him no. You told him there was no chance.
What do you think he’s gonna do, stay single
forever?”

“Yeah? If I can’t have him, I don’t want

anyone else to, either. Duh.”

“That, my dear sister, is where you are

wrong. You can have him; you just won’t let
yourself. It’s not only driving you crazy. It’s driving
me crazy too!” She whisper-yells the last part at
me.

“Whatever. Where’s my squish? The only

male I can count on.”

She shakes her head as if I’m being

unreasonable, “Ry should be down with him any
second.” Then right on cue, they come down from
upstairs.

“Tawi! Hi! See my tucks?!”

“I would friggen love to see your trucks,

Squish. Show me!”

He takes his chunky little fingers and wraps

them around mine. I look at this little boy and my
heart just explodes with love.

“You know how much I love you, Squish?”

“Yeah.”

I laugh at his short answer, and then

continue to look and ask all sorts of questions about
all his trucks. After about ten minutes, I hear the
door open. I hear Preston and Ry hug and greet
each other, while Mac greets his girlfriend.

Puke.

I’m not like Mac. I can’t just be nice to

everyone. I have chronic bitch face, especially
when I’m annoyed or frustrated. My face doesn’t
even have to be resting.

I hop up and check myself in the mirror

they have in the den. I’m in skinny jeans and a
chunky black sweater. My hair is in a high messy
bun and I have a cute headscarf on. I take a deep
breath.

Eh.

I pick up my favorite fat baby, and head out

to the living room, where they are all sitting and
talking.

Preston’s gaze snaps to me as soon as he

sees me, and he freezes. I make eye contact for
about 2 seconds and flick my gaze elsewhere. I’ve
seen him twice since my birthday in August, and
they were both quick trips. We texted all the time,
until about two months ago. When everything
changed.

I look down at my phone with a smile.

Preston: You should come visit me. When is the

last time you took a vacation?

Talia: In your dreams, sleigh boy.

Preston: No, seriously. Come out here. San

Diego is amazing, you’d love it. You can stay with
me, we can explore, you name it.

Talia: Pres…

My phone rings, it’s him. I pick it up.

“Angel. Come on. It’s been over a year. I

feel like I’ve proven that I’m not what you’re
afraid of. Have I not?

I sigh, “It’s the risk Pres. I just… I’m not

ready yet. I’m sorry…”

He’s quiet on the other end. “Will you ever

be ready for me? Or are you going to string me
along for the rest of your life? I see the way you
look at me, Talia. I see the way your breathing
changes. I see the glances. I see the longing,
because I know what it looks like. Because I feel
the same way. I know you want this, just let go and
fly with me, Angel.”

I want to say okay. Say yes. Anything. But I

can’t. I fucking can’t, because the fear of the
unknown cripples me. My throat is thick with pent

up emotion, trying to hold back the tears. My voice
cracks, “I’m sorry, Pres… I jus-”

“Nah, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have pushed. It’s

fine, really. Have a good night, Talia.”

*Click*

I look down at my phone, soaking up what

just happened. I squeeze my phone in anger that I
don’t have the balls to take or do what I want. My
heart dropping as I feel the shift our friendship
just did.

Pathetic.

Only took him a month to get a girlfriend.

And now, here we are. He’s texted once, a short
one. I didn’t respond because I was pissed he had a
girlfriend. I didn’t have a right to be, but I was.
Like I said, I’m not like Mac.

He stands to give me a hug, “Hey, Talia.”

Talia. Not, Angel. That one stung.

I return the awkward hug, “Hey, Happy

Birthday.” We let go and both scratch our heads, an
awkward silence between us and everyone else.
This is so weird.

Blondie taps his leg, “Oh yeah, this is

Laikyn.”

Even her name is annoying me. But I push

through the catty thoughts, smile and extend my
hand. “Hi, Laikyn, nice to meet you.”

“Hi, Talia, you too. I’ve heard a lot about

you.”

My eyebrows fly up at that piece of

information. That’s so damn weird he would talk to
her about me. His eyes go round and he shrugs,
unsure of what to do.

“Me and Squish are gonna check on…

the… food.”

“It’s all done, Tal-” Mac speaks up. Her and

her stupid perfect husband snuggling on the love
seat. I actually love them, but I’m bitter right now.

“Well, we’re gonna double check it.”

I grab Greyson and we head into the

kitchen. Everything is done and ready and there’s
really nothing I can do. I sneak a peek back into the
living room and Preston is sitting next to her, his
arm around her shoulders. Everyone’s laughing at

something Laikyn said. She really is nice, but she’s
occupying a spot I’ve longed for, for so long.
Preston’s gaze peaks up at me and we speak with
our eyes.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

This could be us.

I know.

I wish she were you.

Me too.

I lick my lips as my eyelids tremble, and I

turn away before I make a fool of myself.

“Okay, go tell mommy everything looks

perfect.”

“Otay, Tawi.” And he smacks a big kiss on

my cheek. Damn, I love that kid. He runs off and I
grip the counter, trying to get myself under control.
This is what I chose, I need to buck up and quit
being a little pansy-ass.

“Angel.”

His damn voice vibrates down my spine,

shaking each nerve on the way down. My breathing
increases, and I know he’s aware of the effect he
has on me.

“Now I’m Angel?” I say as I turn to him

with a lifted brow and crossed arms.

“What do you want me to do exactly,

Talia?” He comes closer, pushing me out of sight, so
no one sees us in the kitchen. Prowling towards me
like a starved animal. Caging me in against the wall.

“Does it kill you to see me with her? To

know every time I kiss her, I see you? Every time
we fuck, it’s still you? Every damn thing I do, it’s
always you?” He stalks closer, inches from my
face. “Huh? Does it anger you, Angel? Because it
fucking infuriates me.”

His mouth crashes down on mine. His hands

are in my hair and my hands are all over him.
Tongues are warring against each other and he
pushes me harder against the wall of my best
friends’ kitchen, while his girlfriend is in the next
room. What the hell is happening? You know what,
I’ll tell you what’s happening.

Magic. Magic is happening, dammit.

He pulls away abruptly, looking at me

through hooded eyes as he runs his tongue along his
lips, lapping up anything leftover. Then he does his
stupid, sexy smirk and turns around and leaves.

Leaves me a hot mess against the wall.

Mackenzie walks in as he walks out and

when she sees me her eyes go as round as saucers.

“Are you freaking kidding me?!” She

whisper-yells.

“He mauled me! Like the beast that man is!

I couldn’t even react!” I return the whisper yell.

“His girlfriend is here, you floozy!”

A smile grows on my face and I try to bite it

back, but I burst out in laughter. Mac is shocked at
first and then she starts to slowly laugh with me and
soon we are in a complete fit of giggles.

“Go fix your face. You look very…

ravished.”

“Because I was.” I wink at her.

I go into the bathroom and fix my bun, and

any smears on my face. I still feel him on my lips. I

bring my fingers up to touch the remnants that he
left behind. I can’t help but smile. But when I walk
out, my smile fades.

Everyone is in the kitchen getting food.

Preston and Laikyn are waiting and she’s hugging
him, her back faced to me and his eyes on mine.
Returning her hug, squeezing her tight as if he
didn’t just have his tongue in my mouth.

He’s doing this on purpose. Demonstrating

that that could be us, but I’m the one stopping us
from being happy. And here he is toying with this
innocent girls’ emotions, unaware of what this game
just cost him.

I suddenly hate her less and feel sad for her.

She doesn’t even realize she’s a tool in his arsenal
to prove a point, to me. Which also proves my
intuition, that we can’t be together, right.

I give him a disappointed look and slightly

shake my head, adding a scoff for effect.

Any and all magical feelings have vanished.

Asshole.

◆◆◆

After the emotional rollercoaster that dinner

was, I call it an early night, leaving before everyone
else. I kiss my squish and hug Mac and Ryland. I
turn to Preston and Laikyn, I give her a friendly
hug.

“Nice to meet you.” I smile at her.

“You too! Drive safe!”

I look at Preston, awkward and unsure what

to do. So, I give him a very odd hand wave. “Uh,
Happy Birthday. See ya.”

I cringe so hard when I turn and walk out

the door. Barely keeping it together. Such a dick,
I’m so mad at him right now. I’m about to get into
my car that’s parked next to his. I almost blow it a
kiss because I love his car that much.

“Talia! Wait!”

I groan, “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I

say in exasperation as I turn towards him. “What,
Preston?” I say as he runs to me.

“What is your problem?” He asks

incredulously.

“MY problem? Are you serious right now?

You are using that poor girl in there to get back at
me! That literally proves me right on why we can’t
be together! Seriously?!”

“What other way do I get it across to you,

Talia? You. Are. Meant. For. ME.” He says banging
on his chest as he says those last words.

My chin quivers and my heart wars against

my head.

“Preston. I need you in my life. But as a

friend. It is killing me to say this. Because I want
you too, but I just can’t. I can’t take that risk. If
you break me, that will be the end of me. I just… I
can’t.” I say the next words through my pleading
cries. “So, I need you to respect that, because I
need you in my fucking life.”

He walks up to me, hands cupping my

cheeks.

“Angel, when will you realize that you’re

the one with the power? If anyone breaks, it would
be you breaking me.” He rubs the apple of my cold
cheeks with his thumb. “No one will ever take up
the space in my heart that you own. It’s yours, Tal.
No matter who I’m with. It’s always yours.”

He leans forward and kisses my forehead,

feeling like a goodbye, lingering there for a few
minutes before letting me go and turning to go back
to the girl he came here with.

My heart, I feel it breaking again.

Piece by piece.

Chapter 20

Four Months Ago

“To Talia!”

I roll my eyes in embarrassment as we all

toast to Bread & Brewed. My baby. We won an
award for the best bakery in Charleston. I’ve never
been prouder of my bakery than I am today. I’ve
stepped back from the bakery quite a bit, mainly as
an overseer. I have a manager and full staff,
possibly opening a second location soon. I haven’t
decided yet, because I love my small nook. I love
that it’s only right here, if you want it you have to
come here. It’s my special little spot on the map.

I look at the eyes staring at me across the

table, “I’m so proud of you, Angel.”

I smile back at him, “Thank you. Thank you

for coming too.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Preston broke it off with Laikyn after

dinner that night, so long ago. He worked a lot
more and was rarely around, but he always texted
and called. He kept it light and never brought up us
being together again. Nor has he had another
girlfriend again. He has been an incredible friend,
and I couldn’t be luckier for the group of people
sitting at this table right now.

“Aunt Tali?”

“Yeah, Squish?”

“Can we bake cupcakes tomorrow?”

“Of course, we can. You’re looking at the

best baker in Charleston, little dude.”

He giggles and claps his hands together. We

have slumber parties every other week and I live
for them. We bake, play dinosaurs, build forts. You
name it, I’ll do it. I’d do anything for him.

I look back up and Preston is still smiling at

me. I blush under his eyes, not used to the look of
fierce pride. But he’s giving it to me, and it’s a good
look on him. When dinner is done and Mac tells me
she’ll drop off Greyson around two pm, I look back
to my last guest of the night and raise an eyebrow.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I tease him.

“Ridge’s.”

I almost spit out my drink, and he chuckles.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m thinking about Ridge’s.” He smirks.

“Preston…” I say in warning.

“You’re the one that asked, Angel.”

“Yeah, well…” I roll my neck around. “It

was a good night, though, huh?”

“The fucking best.”

I smile at him and we both laugh.

“Celebration round? Let’s go. Old times

sake.”

“Pres… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Angel, I never said you had to fuck me in

the parking lot. It’s just a drink, I swear.”

My eyes pop wide open, “Could you be any

louder? Good lord…”

“You asked for it. I NEVER SAID YO-”

I quickly put my hand over his mouth to

shut him up from yelling it across the entire
restaurant. “You’ve officially lost it. Let’s go, I
need to get you out of here, you’re a heathen.”

He just laughs and it makes me laugh too.

Our playful banter is back, and I love it. I love how
easy it is to laugh and joke with him.

We share a ride over to Ridge’s. Hey Mister

by Miss May I is playing through the speakers and
we’re both drumming our fingers along. Gifting
each other small side glances and smiles on the way
over. The parking lot is empty but decides to park
in the back in the same spot as all those years ago. I
raise my eyebrow and he just winks at me. He shuts
off the car, but neither of us move to get out.

“Penny for your thoughts?” The deep

timber of his voice, raising the hair on my arms.

I turn and look at him. “I’m really glad you

came tonight; I don’t get to see you much these
days.”

He runs his hand through the back of his

hair, “I know. I’m actually putting in a request for
less work. I don’t need it like I did when I was

younger. I don’t need the distraction anymore. I
don’t need the money like I did when I was
younger, either.”

“Wow, really?”

He nods his head. “Yep. Thinking I’ll be

away for only a few weeks of the year, rather than
the other way around.”

“That’s great news, Pres.” I smile at him.

Then our eyes meet.

Fuck.

Eyes always say the words our mouths are

too scared to say.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Boom.

We’re on each other, breathing each other

in, clinging to each other like a final lifeline.

“The same… You taste exactly the same.

I’ve craved you for seven years, Talia. Seven.
Years.”

I nod my head, our breathing is heavy, and I

pull away just slightly, spilling my heart. “I’ve tried
creating thousands of recipes to come close to the
way you taste, but nothing is as good as you.” I
relent, “You’re about to win, Pres. I don’t know if I
can keep fighting this.”

His eyes are all over my face, his breathing

increases and he brings my lips back down to his. A
minute later, he pulls his lips from mine, foreheads
resting together.

“Then I’m going to stop this right here.”

I pull back confused, “What?”

“I can wait a little longer, Angel. Why do

you think you can’t fight it anymore? I stopped
pushing and started being a friend. I let my actions
talk instead of my words. So, that’s what I’ll do
right now. I won’t devour you the way I want to,
until you tell me you’re mine.” He cups my cheeks,
rubbing his nose along the bridge of mine,
“Because whether you’ve figured it out or not,
that’s what you are. You. Are. Mine.”

He nips my lips one more time and I lick

them immediately.

I take a deep breath, and hug him, soaking

up his embrace. “Thank you, Preston. You don’t

know what that means to me.”

“I’d do anything for you, Angel. I’d pick up

every broken piece that’s too painful for you and
carry each one.” I exhale, letting each word soak
into my skin.

I think love this man.

Chapter 21

Present Day

One Week After Funeral

I roll over and stare at the ceiling. Numb.

My heart hurts. Everything hurts. I have no more
tears left to cry. A little girl that saw another sad
little girl and clung on. Like finding a lost puppy,
always providing an unconditional love. No matter
what happened, Mac was always there. Always.
Didn’t matter how many times I told her no,
ignored her, or maybe even snipped at her.

She knew. She knew I needed her even if I

tried pushing her away. And so, she stayed, always
there.

My phone chimes, snapping me out of my

memory.

Preston: Open up, Angel.

A small smile graces my face. It feels

foreign there, ever since Mac found out her cancer
came back, smiles have been a rare sighting. We
found out the week after my celebratory dinner
four months ago, that it was invading her whole
body, and her health would drastically decline, and
it would decline fast. She chose to let it take her
naturally, wanting to feel as good as she could for
as long as possible. Such a fucking warrior.

I don’t bother putting pants on, I’m in a

baggy tee shirt that comes to mid-thigh. I go
through my tiny apartment and open the door. He’s
in sweats and a tee, he looks tired too, but has
breakfast in hand.

I give him a tight smile and open my arm to

let him know to come in. He comes in and sets the
bag down on my counter and makes his way back
over to me, wrapping me in his arms. Trying to soak
up every ounce of sadness and pain I have to offer
him. I wrap my arms around his middle and hold
him back. I don’t know how long we stay there for,
but he doesn’t let go of me until I’m ready.

After a while I pull away, “Thank you for

bringing me food.”

“Of course.”

I pause, “We should eat and then bring

something to Ry. I want to see if he needs anything.
Needs me to take Grey. Something.”

“I tried calling him, but he didn’t answer.

That was my next stop, so I’m glad you said that.”
He lifts one side of his mouth.

I stop him before he turns, lifting my hand

to cup his cheek. “How are you? I know you loved
her too. We all did.”

“I’m okay. Just sucks. She was too good.

Didn’t deserve this. Ryland doesn’t deserve this.
My heart just breaks for him. For Grey.” He rubs
his hands up and down his face. “It’s just messed
up.”

I wrap in him a hug again and we just stay

like that for a bit. I have Kennedy, my manager
heading the bakery for me so I can take some time.
I’d be a goner without her.

We untangle and I get dressed and we head

over to Ry’s. We walk up to the door and knock.
I’m used to just walking in, but it feels… different
now.

Ry opens the door, he looks good

considering, but he looks overwhelmed and tired.
“Hey guys, what are you doing here?”

“Shut up, Ry.” I say, then bring him in for a

hug. He’s stiff at first, but then his arms wrap
around me, returning the hug and I can tell this is
what he needed. He needed his friends. I feel his
back start to shake and I feel Preston wrap his arms
around both of us. His body rattles with sobs,
mourning the loss of his wife. His best friend. The
other half of his soul.

Pres and I don’t let go until he starts to back

away. He wipes his eyes, “Jesus, sorry guys.”

“Don’t apologize. I think we all needed

that.” I say as I, too, wipe the tears from my own
eyes.

“Where’s squish?”

“Still sleeping. It was a rough night last

night, he just kept crying for Mackenzie. It killed
me.” He says as he runs his hand through his hair.

My heart cracks. “Dude, go take a shower,

take a nap. I don’t care, just take care of yourself
for a little bit. We’ll be here when little man wakes
up.” I say rubbing his arm.

I see the tension leave his body and he

looks down at the floor rubbing the back of his

head now.

“Thanks guys. Just… Thank you.”

“Of course, bud.” Preston speaks up.

Ryland turns and heads upstairs and I turn to
Preston.

“I think I just died inside again. That broke

my heart.”

“Me too.” He says, rubbing my back.

I look around the house and see it’s a bit

messy. He’s probably trying to keep as much
normalcy as he can, but he just lost his wife and
now has to take complete care of his son.

“I’m gonna get some stuff out to make

breakfast. Little man loves waffles.” Preston
speaks up.

I smile at him, “That’s a great idea. I’ll tidy

up a bit.”

We break off and I start in the dining room,

working my way into the living room and then the
kitchen. I look and take in every single picture in
this home. Her presence still gracing us. As I’m
back in the living room, I spot one picture I’ve

never seen before. I go over and pick it up and it’s
a picture of both of us in the bakery kitchen, a
mixing bowl and whisk in both of our hands and
both of our heads are thrown back in laughter. I
drag my finger down the picture, trying to
remember this day or moment. We had so many of
these I can’t pin-point it. And I’m so glad for that.

I hear Greyson squeak down the stairs, I

look at the clock and it’s ten am.

“Hi, you sleepyhead.”

“Hi, Tawi.” He says, dragging his feet over

to me then lifting his arms for me to hold him. I
smile at his nickname for me. Sometimes he
pronounces the L, sometimes he uses a W. It’s
adorable. I pick him up and sit on the couch. He
burrows into me.

“I miss mommy.”

My breath stops as sorrow fills me. “I miss

her too, Squish.”

“Why won’t she come back?”

“Remember what she told you, Baby? We

won’t be able to touch, or hug her… But we will
always be able to talk to her. We may not hear her,

but she will always speak to us in the things around
us. You see your favorite butterfly outside? That’s
her telling you she loves you. You really want to
play in the rain, and it starts raining? That’s her
playing with you.” I run my fingers through his
dirty blonde hair. “You can always talk to her. And
you can always talk to your daddy, me, or Uncle
Pres.”

He nods his head and hugs me. “I love you,

squish.”

“Love you too, Tawi.”

I smile and kiss his head, then Preston walks

in the room. “Little man! Hi, bud.”

Greyson jumps off of my lap and into

Preston’s arms, giving him a big bear hug.

“Oh man, you’re a load! What did you do,

gain twenty pounds?”

Greyson giggles. “No, you got weaker!”

“I got what?!” He teases back and throws

him on the couch to tickle him. Giggles fill the
room and you have to smile. I look out the corner
of my eye and see Ryland on the stairs, smiling at
his son, then speaks up.

“Man, something smells good!”

“Hi, daddy! Uncle Pres got weaker again!”

“I believe that.” He says with humor.

“You know what, neither of you are getting

the waffles I made. I’m gonna eat them all!”
Preston teases again.

“Waffles?!?! You’re the stwongest guy

ever! Daddy too!”

“Fine. I guess you can have some waffles.”

“Yay!” And then he darts off to the kitchen.

It’s hard not to smile watching Preston with

him. Then I feel it.

I feel another shift.

It’s like my heart just demolished the wall

I’ve had up my whole life, begging for Preston to
come in and make himself at home. To love me,
and for me to love him. My breathing increases as
emotion is surging through me.

Preston looks up at me before heading to

the kitchen to join Ryland and Greyson. “You

okay?” His brows are drawn together in worry.

I bite my lips together and shake my head.

He comes over to me, thinking it’s

Mackenzie. And it kind of is. I think she’s the
reason I feel like I’m able to open myself up to
love. She weaseled her way inside and knocked
down the damn wall since I wouldn’t. I choke out a
laugh.

As Preston tries to wrap me in a hug, I put

my hand on his chest. “I’m yours.” I say looking
back and forth between his eyes. “I’m yours. I
always have been. There was never a single doubt,
Preston.”

His eyes go wide and he grabs my face and

kisses me. Tasting every inch of me that he can,
savoring every delicious drop. We slow and break
our lips away, and his eyes come to mine.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to

hear that, Talia.”

“Seven years?” I tease.

He chuckles, “Yes. Seven years, Smart-ass.”

“You’ll have to get used to that.”

“Done.” He moves the hair out of my face,

and his hands come down on both sides of my
neck, his thumb rubbing my jaw. “I’m gonna give
you every ounce of love, you’ve ever missed out
on, Talia Daniels.” I close my eyes and allow
myself to soak up the love he’s giving me.

He’s putting me back together.

Piece by piece.

………………………………….

We spent the day with Ryland and Grey,

laughing, smiling, reminiscing on the beautiful soul
that we miss so dearly. It was a good day
remembering Mackenzie, all that she was,
everything she meant to us. I needed to check in on
the bakery. Preston dropped me off at my house, he
had to check in on his job as well, he does some
audit stuff for his guys on the field from home.

He kissed me stupid in the car before I got

out. Feeling giddy on love, and heartbroken over
loss is a strange, confusing emotion. But we both
lost her. Something we can both relate to and help
each other heal over. It’s comforting.

I unlock my doors and head inside. Walking

to my counter to check the mail I put there, but it’s
not there. My eyebrows draw together in confusion.
I remember specifically putting it here. I look
around my apartment, quiet enough to hear a pin
drop. An odd feeling washing over me, making my
hair stand on end.

There it is. On my coffee table. I swear I put

it on the counter, but I shake my head, clearing the
fog. I’ve been so out of it with everything going on,
I have been misplacing things left and right, lately.

I sort through the mail and throw away the

junk, putting the rest on the counter. I hop in the
shower and wash the day off. After I get around, I
go to leave and I lock all of my locks and triple
check them, and then head to the bakery. It closed
a long time ago, so I go in through the back and
turn on the kitchen lights, on my way to my office.
I turn on Of Monsters and Men, something chill to
relax me. I work on the schedule, answer emails,
catch up on things to do and get checks around for
bills to mail out tomorrow.

After an hour or so of office work, I head

into the kitchen and get started on inventory. I take
a list of things we need to restock and switch out
ingredients that need it. Make sure all dishes are

washed and put away properly.

For the first time in years, I don’t feel like

baking. At least not alone. I take out my phone and
make a call, he answers on the first ring.

“Angel.”

“Hey. I’m done with the boring work stuff.

Want to come watch me bake?”

“Hell yeah. Back or front?”

“Kinky.”

“Don’t tempt me, Baby.”

I giggle, “The back door, text me when

you’re here.”

“Will do, see you soon.”

“Okay, drive safe.”

I smile at my phone as I hang up and drag

my thumb over my background. It’s me and Mac,
giving each other a big bear hug, cheeks smooshed
together, the biggest smiles decorating our face.

“Love you, Big Mac.” I whisper, closing my

eyes, feeling her around me right now. I feel a grin

on my face, and I get out my ingredients and blank
recipe cards and turn on Back That Ass Up by
Juvenile. Pres texts me to let him in, and I do. He
starts laughing when he hears what’s playing.

“Is this what I’ve been missing out on?!”

I nod to him with a big smile. “In the mood

for some cheesecake?”

“Is that a trick question? Of course, I am.”

He rubs his hands together in excitement. “What
can I do?”

“You want to help?”

“Hell yeah. I’ll be your new protege.” He

winks and I giggle.

“Deal, but plug your football game playlist

in. We’re doing it Tali-babes and Big Mac style
tonight.”

“Now we’re talking.” He connects his

phone and Pills & Automobiles by Chris Brown
starts playing. We crank it up and I tell him what he
can start doing. We take numerous dance breaks
and laugh. I tell him stories about Mac and I in the
kitchen. He listens so intently, keen on every word I
say. We put the cheesecakes in the fridge and

decide to order take out. It’s 9:30 pm and we just
had pizza delivered and thank God this man likes
pizza. We’re both sitting on the counter, eating it by
the slice.

“Do you see your parents?”

“Nah. Don’t know where they are, honestly.

Don’t care to know. I’ve built a successful life
without them. They didn’t care anyways.”

I nod my head. “Sawyer is still in prison. I

hate that he’s even alive honestly.”

“Me too. I’d kill the bastard if I ever get a

chance.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t waste your breath.

He’s in there till he dies.” I hop down off the
counter to wash my hands. “They ended up finding
embezzlement and tons of fraud charges on top of
child abuse, endangerment, drugs, you name it.” I
look at him, “I was lucky to have the judge we
did.”

I return and we stare at each other for the

longest time, neither of us looking away.

“Thank you for being here, Preston.

Whenever I’ve needed you, you were there. Even

before Mac died, you were always there.”

He lifts his lips, “Nowhere else I’d rather

be.”

He hops off the counter and slowly steps in

front of me, pushing my back into the fridge.

“Put your hands in my hair, Angel.”

Hell yes. He always knows what I need.

And I need this.

He brings his lips to mine and my hands go

to his hair. He ravishes my mouth, hungry for more.

“Wrap your legs around me, baby.” He lifts

me and I do just that. “Don’t make a sound, or I’ll
stop.” I nod my head in understanding. I’m not
making a damn sound. His mouth travels down my
jaw, to right under my ear. My mouth falls open,
and I’m trying my best to not make a noise, but
having him like this, so unfiltered and free is
making it a challenge.

A very welcome one.

He turns and sets me on the counter,

swiping all the bowls out of the way. I laugh and he
has a big smile on his face. He grabs my jaw and

kisses me hard. Laughs are gone and the match is
lit. He pushes me on my back, fire in his eyes. He
slowly drags his hands from my knees up to the
band of my jeans, undoing them at the top. He
drags them down my legs, his touch light as a
feather. Once they are off, he lifts under my knees
to plant my feet on the table. Black thong still in
place, but I’m wide open to him and he looks like a
man starved, and I’m his dinner. My breathing is
quick, chest rising up and down.

“You’re so beautiful.”

I’m about to speak, but he puts his finger

over his mouth, “Ah-ah. No noise, Angel. I want to
see how well you listen.”

He wants to torture me. If he’s going to do

what I think he’s going to do, it’s torture.

I nod my head in understanding as he hooks

his fingers in the sides of my thong and drags them
down my legs. He throws them behind him, landing
on the other small kitchen counter.

OSHA’s gonna shut me down.

Worth it.

I’m watching him stare at me, waiting for

him to do something. I’m dying here. Then he licks
his lips. Licks his fucking lips. I have to do
everything in me not to come right then and there.
His hands slide up my body to my eyes. Those dark
hooded eyes with an evil smirk.

“Dessert’s ready, Baby.”

And then he covers me with his mouth. My

back arches off the counter, the heat of his tongue
sending every nerve in my body out of control.

“Holy shit, you taste like a birthday cake

everywhere.”

I silently chuckle, then he gets back to work

and he has me conquered in what feels like a matter
of minutes. My chest is heaving up and down, he
stands up straight, a knowing and proud smirk
shining on his face and he wipes his mouth.

He goes to turn around, and I stop him.

“What are you doing?”

“Grabbing your clothes…”

“Preston, I swear. If you aren’t inside of me

in the next thirty seconds, you’ll never have cake
again.”

His eyes narrow, “Did you just tell me what

to do?”

Now I’m smirking, “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“I’ll allow it this time.” Then he whips off

his shirt and the heavens have shined down upon
me.

Close your eyes, Mac.

“Ready, Angel?”

“God, yes.”

He gives me his eyes and doesn’t let me

close mine the entire time.

Let’s just say we spent an hour bleaching

the kitchen.

Worth it.

Chapter 22

Today is hard and I haven’t opened my eyes

yet. My chest hurts. All I want to do is call Mac
and give her a hard time, or make fun of her, or
hear her make fun of me. I text Kennedy, letting
her know I might be in a bit late today. She replies
right away.

Kennedy: No problem. Take all the time you

need.

I smile at the text, but only for a second.

My mood snapping me out of anything remotely
happy. I put on a sulking playlist, starting off with
Videotape by Radiohead. I stand in my small
bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I remove
my sleepshirt, then my bra, followed by my
underwear.

And I stand there. Looking at my body in

the mirror. Taking in each piece of art covering
each piece of scar. I turn my back and look at my
wings. Her wings. I turn back around. Watching as
tears force their way out. And I cry. I cry for her,
for Ryland, for Greyson, for Preston.

For me.

I turn to get in the shower and put the water

as hot as I can handle it. Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl
Jam plays through my speakers. I let the water
wash over me, scalding hot. I hold it back as long as
I can, but as soon as I slide down the shower wall,
balled up on the floor. I break, again.

Piece by piece.

Death has a way of stealing your breath in

the smallest of moments. The initial shock and blow
is devastating, then the day of the funeral in one
word is… catastrophic.

But it’s the day after.

The days after the funeral, everyone leaves

and goes back to their normal day to day lives. But
here you are. Expected to pick up the pieces and
move on like nothing ever happened, like they were
never here. You go to an empty home with an
empty heart, left to repair the monumental damage

that just played havoc with your life. No more calls,
no more texts, nothing.

And here I am, sitting on the floor of my

shower, breaking down, not a soul in sight.

I can almost hear Mac. “Get off the floor,

Tali-babes. No tears today, babe.”

I soak up the comfort, like salve to a

wound. I take a deep breath, stand up and wash it
away. I get out of the shower, dress in comfy
clothes and throw my hair up.

It’s a cleaning day.

I switch my playlist and Like A Stone by

Audioslave starts playing, and I start cleaning. My
apartment is small, so it won’t take long, but I plan
on reorganizing my kitchen. I start in my room,
then move to my bathroom. After that I straighten
up my already clean-living room and then my
kitchen. I take out every pot, pan and baking sheet
and clean. I put them back in a specific order, and
then do the same with every plate, cup, fork or
spoon. You name it, it’s in its proper spot. Once I
do the same thing with my fridge, I decide to text
Preston, so I grab my phone and see he texted me
half an hour ago.

Preston: Good morning, Angel.

Talia: Hey you. Sorry, it was a bad morning. So,

I’ve been taking it out on my house by cleaning.

Preston: What piece can I carry?

I smile at that, thinking back to his promise

he made me.

Talia: Lunch?

Preston: I’ll be there in ten. x

I laugh at the x he put in the text, shaking

my head. I throw on some shorts and a Black
Sabbath cut off and call it good. I look around my
crisp clean apartment, wishing Mac was here to
mess it up.

Deep breath.

I grab my phone, wallet and keys and lock

all my locks, triple checking them.

Right when I walk out of my building,

Preston pulls up. He puts his beautiful car in park
and hops out, running around to wrap me in a hug.

“Hi, Angel.” He says pressing his lips into

my hair.

“Hey, you.”

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You do, too.” I say with a

small smile.

“I knew you loved this face.”

I roll my eyes at him, and he opens my door

to hop in. We make our way to a small diner
outside of town and get burgers. Once we’re done
eating, we start to head back to town, but Preston
takes a right turn a little too soon.

“Where are we going?”

“To see our girl.”

I close my eyes, grab his hand and squeeze.

He squeezes back, keeping hold of my hand with a
steady pressure that’s holding me together more
than he knows.

We get out of the car and make our way

over to Mac’s headstone. There are flowers and
toys, a physical sign of Grey and Ryland being
here. I take a picture and send it to Ry.

Talia: Our girl looks good.

Ryland: She’s beautiful. Kiss her for me.

Talia: Always.

Talia: Kiss that baby for me.

Ryland: Always.

I put my phone back in my pocket and

Preston and I take a seat on the grass, letting the
humid summer day take hold of us. Just sitting in
the only physical presence of our girl, that we have
now.

I kiss my hand and touch the headstone,

then repeat the gesture. One from me, one from Ry.

“Love you, bitch.” I choke out with a small

laugh.

Preston chuckles. I stand up and he wraps

me in his embrace yet again.

“Thank you for this. For knowing I needed

this.”

“Anything, Talia. I’d do anything.”

My eyes move back and forth between his,

the words on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them
back and give him a small, sweet kiss instead.

“Want to binge watch The Office with me?”

“Hell yeah. Let’s go.” He throws his arm

over my shoulder and we head to the car. Seeing
her felt good today. I needed it. We’re in the car
and Send the Pain Below by Chevelle comes on. I
love this song. I love Chevelle. The band and the
car.

After we grab some take-out, we pull up to

my house and I unlock all of my locks. We walk in
and I set my stuff on the counter.

“Do you want something to drink? I made

sun tea the other day, it’s the best and only way to
make iced tea.”

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

I smile and open my double cupboards and

freeze.

One of my cups is missing. I know this

because I just cleaned and organized like a crazy
OCD person today, lining everything up perfectly. I

slowly turn, taking survey of my kitchen and see it.

One of the cups is in my sink.

Someone’s been in my house.

Hair on the back of my neck is raised. My

breathing increases rapidly, and my hands start
shaking. I start pacing and run to my door,
slamming it shut, locking and unlocking every lock.

Lock, unlock, lock, unlock, lock.

“Angel?”

I don’t say anything, I can’t. Something is

fucking with me. Someone. I finally see Preston in
front of me, he’s holding my shoulders slightly
shaking me.

“Talia, what the hell is going on? What’s

wrong?”

“Some… someone’s been here.”

“What do you mean, Baby? What do you

mean someone’s been here?”

“I mean someone was in my fucking

apartment. I cleaned everything this morning and
lined everything perfectly. When I went to get

drinks a cup was missing and it’s in the sink.”

I shake my head realizing how crazy I

sound.

“I swear I didn’t get a drink, Pres. I

swear…”

“I believe you, Angel. Just stay here I’m

going to check the place, okay?”

I nod my head and wait in the kitchen and

Preston looks in every single nook and cranny in
my apartment. He comes back itching his head.

“I didn’t see a single thing, Angel.”

I nod slowly, taking myself back through my

steps this morning. I’m sure I didn’t have a drink…
did I?

I slide my hands into my hair, “Fuck, am I

imagining this?”

“You had a hard morning. Give yourself a

little more rope. Do you want me to stay over? You
can come to my house? Whatever makes you
comfortable.”

I take a deep breath; I feel it though.

Something is off.

“You don’t mind staying?”

“Trust me. I don’t mind at all.” He says with

a gleam in his eyes, grabbing me by the hips, pulling
me to him.

The best distraction I could ask for.

Chapter 23

Mackenzie was with me the entire day

today. It almost felt… healing. The bakery was
slammed today, but it was so good. Everyone that
walked in, walked out with a smile. Everything
turned out great, it just felt like she was actually
here adding her touch to everything.

Preston is going over his schedule today,

figuring out when he has to go out of town for the
rest of the year. He should only have one or two
more trips, and then he’s switching positions for no
more traveling. He said being here with Ry, Grey
and I is more important than anything.

I get in my car and Private Fears in Public

Places by Front Porch Step comes on and it’s like
one big fat realization flashes before my eyes. I
love Preston Taylor, and it’s hitting me like a brick
wall. A hurricane on its destructive path, nothing
and no one can stop it. That’s exactly how it hit me.
All at once.

Talia: Hey, you :) Hope you had a good day.

The bakery was amazing today. On my way home.
xo

Preston: That’s great, Angel. Today was good.

Just wrapping up work soon.

Talia: Call me when you’re done :)

Preston: Of course.

I get home and grab the mail out of my box

and head to my apartment. I’m sorting through
them, and one envelope catches my eye. It’s sealed
but completely blank. Not even my name is
addressed on it. My eyebrows draw together in
confusion and open the envelope. A blank piece of
paper is inside of it. Who would put a blank paper
and a blank envelope in my box? I look around me,
feeling eyes on me. Fuck, I’m paranoid.

I hurry and unlock my door and then lock

each one, checking them. I shake off the weird
feeling and change into some leggings and a baggy
shirt. It’s five pm and decide to make some dinner.
I turn on Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton and
then get out my Instant Pot and throw some frozen

chicken breast in there with everything I need for
chicken tacos. Easy and quick.

I sit down with my food thirty minutes later

with my favorite book, music in the background
comforting me. My phone chimes a few minutes
later.

Preston: Open up, Angel. I brought you

donuts.

I hop up and run to my door, opening it up

as quick as I can.

“No way.”

“Had to finish the day the way you and

Mac would’ve.” He wiggles his eyebrows. I laugh
and jump into his arms, and he kisses my hair as he
walks into my apartment, me clinging to his tall
frame like a monkey.

“I made chicken tacos. Want some?”

“Does it rain in Seattle?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Always.” I smile and hop down. I grab a

plate and make him like, five stuffed tacos. The

man can eat. I sit back down next to him and we
spend our night cuddled up on the couch, binge
watching Netflix.

I doze off and I wake up to Preston carrying

me to my bedroom. He lays me down and turns to
leave.

“Where are you going?”

“I was gonna head home.” He says, running

his fingers through my hair.

“Why aren’t you staying?”

“I wasn’t sure…”

“You can always stay.” I roll to my back to

get a better look at him. He’s sitting on the side of
my bed, leaning over me with a content smile.

“Pres?”

“Yeah, Angel?”

“I love you.” I say, just above a whisper. He

closes his eyes, trying to keep this moment in his
memory.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I laid

eyes on you again, three years ago. It has always

been you. Only you.” His thumb rubs my cheek,
leaning closer to my face. “It was like coming
home. An aching chest and a sick stomach, from
missing a place you’ve longed for your whole life.
And there you were, standing in front of me, so
close, but still out of reach. But I knew you were it,
so I waited. I waited three years, but I would’ve
waited hundreds for you to come home, too.”

That’s where I am with him.

Home.

Chapter 24

We’re on our way to Ryland’s, to pick up

Greyson, I’m taking him out for a day of fun. I can
tell Ryland needs a little time to grieve, Preston is
gonna stay with him. He’s done phenomenal trying
to keep Grey’s schedule as regular as possible
without Mac. But it’s taking a toll. He’s tired,
drained and heartbroken. He needs some time with
Preston to just… be.

We pull up and Grey is already outside with

Ry. When he sees us, he starts jumping up and
down, waving his little arms in the air. It puts a big
smile on my face, I love this kid.

“Hi, Squish!”

“Hi, Aunt Tali! I’m ready! Let’s go!” He

starts booking it to my car.

I laugh, “Whoa there, partner. Let’s back up

a bit. I want to say hi to your dad, and you need to

say bye to him.”

He giggles, “Oops! I fowgot.” He says with

little chipmunk fingers.

Preston is already up on the porch sitting

with Ry, beers in hand.

“Bye, Daddy. I wuv you.” He says as he

gives his dad a big hug and kiss.

“Love you too, bud. Be good for Aunt

Talia, right?”

He gives his dad a big nod, “Right!” Then

he moves to Preston.

“Hi, Uncle Preston!” He gives him a big

hug, “Bye, Uncle Preston.”

“Bye, buddy. Have fun!”

I grab his hand and head back to my car. I

get him all settled in his car seat and we head off to
the city. Our first stop is to get some food. After
that we head to the Children’s Museum and I’ve
not seen such a big smile on his face in a long, long
time. He’s running, laughing, playing; you name it. I
love seeing him like this. Not weighed down by
what life has given him at such a young age.

When we are done at the museum, he

wanted to go for a walk downtown. I grab his hand
and make our way to look at all the shops. Then we
grab a hot dog and stop by the park.

“You having fun, Squish?”

“Oh yeah! Today is awesome!”

“Good. I’m glad. It’s good to see you so

giggly.”

He giggles again and I boop his nose.

“Auntie Tawi?”

“Yeah, Baby?”

“Daddy is sad.”

“Yeah, he is, buddy. But you know what?”

“What?”

“I know this for a fact, so listen good. You

make your daddy, so so happy. The happiest he can
be. He just misses mommy a lot right now. But you
always make him happy.”

“Hey! Dat’s what he says!”

“See! I told you! It’s those cute, chubby

cheeks of yours!” I say, tickling him, his laughter
filling the air.

“Mommy says she loves you and daddy, a

lot.”

“She told you that?”

“Yep! She told me yesterday!”

“She told you yesterday, huh? Where at?”

“In my dreams. She told me how much she

loves me and you, Daddy and Uncle Preston. And
that she misses us bunches, too!”

I feel the tears fighting their way forward,

but I hold them back. “Thank you, for telling me
that, Bud. I needed it. I miss mommy, too. When
you see her in your dreams again, will you tell her
for me?”

“Uh-huh!”

“Thanks, Dude. You ready to go home and

see Daddy and Uncle Preston?”

“Yeah!”

We make our way back to the car to go

back to his house. We pull up and the guys aren’t in
sight. I get Grey out and we make our way in the
house.

“We’re back!” I yell, but I don’t hear

anything. “Go put your stuff away and then we’ll
go see if we can find your dad and Uncle Pres.” He
runs off, only to come back downstairs a moment
later, grabbing my hand. We walk out to the
backyard, and I hear music coming from the pole
barn. We make our way out there, and when I walk
in, my eyes go wide.

“What is that?!”

“Oh, hey guys! Did you have fun, Bud?”

“I had a bwast, Daddy!” He says jumping

into his dads’ arms. But my eyes are still on the
motorcycle that is sitting in the middle of this room,
that Ry and Pres are working on.

For the record, those two men working on a

bike together?

Wow. What a sight.

“Ry, where did you get this?”

“I bought it.” He shrugs.

“You don’t take Grey on it, do you?”

He chuckles, “Nah. This is for me. I can’t

even ride it yet. Gotta fix it up. It keeps me
occupied; it helps. A lot. Grey’s too little,
anyways.”

I nod my head in understanding. “I didn’t

even know you could fix a bike. I better be getting
a ride when it’s ready.” I wiggle my eyebrows.

He laughs, “I didn’t know I could fix them

either. I’m just kind of guessing right now.”

I love bikes. Classic cars and bikes. Makes

me shiver.

Pres speaks up to Ry, “I want a ride too.

But I’ll take it on my own. I’m not riding bitch with
you.”

“Oh, now that, I would pay very good

money to see.” I say, my eyes growing in wonder.

We all laugh and decide to grill out. Our

own little family, minus one. Sitting at the table,
laughing, telling more stories of my beautiful best
friend. Shedding tears and healing our hearts.

Together.

I love these people.

◆◆◆

We get back to my place, and Preston just

drops me off. I told him I just needed a night to
myself. And what I love even more about him? He
doesn’t get upset or offended that I need my own
space occasionally. He gets it. I lean over and give
him a lingering kiss.

“I love you.”

“I love you, Angel.”

I smile against his lips, and give him another

small kiss, then pull away and head inside my
building. I turn back just before I walk in and blow
him a kiss.

He catches it and puts it in his mouth,

making me laugh and shake my head. I check my
mail on the way in, grabbing bills. I find another
blank envelope. My eyebrows draw together, a
haunting feeling snaking down my spine. I open it
up, and it’s another blank letter. Last time I was
thinking it was just a mistake, but a second time the

next day… My paranoia spikes up. I look around
me, seeing no one, but feeling eyes on me all at the
same time. I rip up the letter and throw it away and
make my way to my apartment. I unlock it and
hurry in, locking and checking my locks on my
door. I still feel a weight on my shoulders, knowing
something isn’t right. I take a deep breath and look
around my place, everything seems fine.

I set my stuff down and grab a knife out of

the kitchen to check. The silence is deafening, yet
my heartbeat is sounding like a siren. I walk down
my small hall; my bedroom is clear. I open the
bathroom and turn on the light.

I drop my knife.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t fucking breathe.

I start hyperventilating as I take in what’s

before me. It’s trashed, with lipstick on the mirror.

SOON.

I grab the knife and run back to the kitchen,

grab my shit and head to the car. Once I get in my
car, I check the backseat, and no one is there. I
lock the doors, grab my phone and call Preston,

tears streaming down my face.

“Miss me already, Angel?”

“Pres? I’m on my way over. Someone was

at my apartment. Someone was there. Oh God, it’s
happening.”

“Baby, what happened? Where are you?

Are you safe?”

“I’m driving right now. I bolted. Pres,

someone is watching me. Someone broke in my
fucking house.”

“Talia, I need you to be calm while you

drive. I can’t have you getting in a car wreck on
your way over here. Take a deep breath, Angel.”

I take one, trying to slow my racing heart.

“The last couple weeks, I’ve been getting weird
feelings. Just… off. I don’t know how to explain it.
There was that cup thing, and other random things
ending up in different places making me think I
keep losing or misplacing them. Then the last two
days I’ve gotten a sealed blank envelope with a
blank paper inside. Nothing on it. I didn’t think
anything of it at first, but I got another one today. I
felt it, Pres. Tonight, I felt someone. I fucking knew
it. I went inside and grabbed a knife to look around

my apartment. Everything was fine, but when I
checked my bathroom it was trashed, and someone
wrote ‘SOON’ with my lipstick on the mirror.” I
choke out a cry. “Fuck, Pres! I can’t deal with this
shit.”

I hear him take a deep breath. “Where are

you, Angel?”

“I just pulled in.”

“I’m coming out.”

I get out of my car and he runs out his door,

racing to me and wrapping me in his arms. His heart
is beating rapidly, and he grabs my face, kissing me.
Wiping my tears with his thumbs.

“You’re safe with me. Okay?”

I nod and exhale, resting my head on his

chest. I hear him dial a number.

“Yeah, I need to report a break-in.” I look

up at him, of course he’s calling it in. He knows
what to do in these types of situations. I rub my
temples.

Who the hell would do this? It has to be

Sawyer, somehow… But why now? Why at all?

What does ‘soon’ even mean?

“Angel, we need to go back. I’m coming

with you, so you’ll be completely safe. They need
to file a report, take pictures. Bag any evidence, if
possible. But I want you to pack a bag. You’re
staying with me.”

I nod my head again. Not arguing. To be

honest, I have absolutely no desire to be alone.
What if someone were in my apartment? I
completely froze up and forgot all my training. The
whole reason I took self-defense, completely flew
out the window.

Damn, none of this makes sense. I can’t

stop wracking through my mind, as we drive back
to my apartment. “I don’t understand what’s going
on, Preston. Who would do this?”

He licks his lips and shakes his head,

holding my hand tightly, “I don’t know. But we’ll
find out. I promise.” He says, looking me in the
eyes.

We get to the apartment and the police pull

up at the same time we do. I tell them in detail,
everything. The cup incident, the envelopes, little
things here and there that seem like they keep being
moved, feeling like I’m being watched. I disclosed

my past, that I was attacked, but he died that night.
That Sawyer is in prison. Other than that, I truly
don’t know who would do this. I don’t talk to many
people. I don’t have any enemies. It’s not adding
up. They write everything down and take pictures
of my bathroom. Taking my lipstick to look for
fingerprints. Once all done, they tell me they will be
in touch if they find anything, and if anything
remotely suspicious happens, to call them. I thank
them, pack a bag, and get the hell out of there.
Preston takes my hand, giving me the support and a
sense of protection that I’m not used to. Welcome,
but unusual.

I look out the window at the passing

streetlights, giving the night a warm dim light. I
knew I was right. I knew that something was
coming.

Something is coming.

Chapter 25

It has been three days since I’ve been to my

apartment. I was going to go back last night, but
Preston said absolutely not. Then I said, I can’t just
stay here forever. Then he said why not? Then I
said, WHAT?!

Yeah. It was weird.

What was weirder? The idea of it didn’t

scare me at all. It felt… right. But we both kind of
did a nervous chuckle, then changed the subject.
It’s not like I can exactly bring it up again. He
would have to. Hopefully.

I’ve been in the kitchen all day today.

Baking, restocking and inventory. It has been an
insanely long day, and I want to try and hit BJJ
tonight. At four, I lock up and head to Preston’s to
grab my gym clothes. He is at his company’s main
office, sorting through some issue. I leave him a
note that I’ll grab us takeout on my way home. I

hop in my car and head to my gym. It was a
grueling sixty minutes. My muscles are sore, my
instincts are back, and I feel… empowered. I don’t
know, but there is something to be said for
slamming grown men down and pinning them into
submission.

10/10 highly recommend.

After class, I grab my things, head to my car

and grab our Chinese. I say hi to the owner, she is
the sweetest lady I’ve ever met. They insisted on
making a fresh batch of my favorite chicken, and
Preston texted that he is just now leaving, so I
decided to wait for it. Ten minutes later, Chinese in
hand, I head to my car.

I make it to my door to get in, and freeze.

The food drops. My heart drops. My breathing
stops. My hands shake. My whole world has just
came crashing down with one small sticky note.

‘SWEETHEART…’

No. No. I look around me, grabbing my

phone out of my pocket as fast as I can, calling the
police. This one went way too fucking far. I ring
through to the cop that I met the first time, telling
me to call him if anything else happens.

“Hi, Miss Daniels?”

“Hi, um, something has happened again.”

“Are you in danger?”

“Um, I don’t know. I don’t think so… I’m

back inside the restaurant. But there was a note on
my door, it said Sweetheart. And while that may
seem insignificant, it is anything but. That’s what
Damon called me, and everyone in my life knows
not to call me that. It has to be Sawyer somehow.
No one else would know that that is a trigger for
me.” I say completely frantic. “I just… somethings
not right.”

“Miss Daniels, stay in the restaurant and I’ll

be there in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” I hang up and call Preston, he

answers on the first ring.

“Preston, it happened again.”

“What do you mean? What’s going on?” He

asks, completely in a worry.

“I was getting food and I came out, there

was a sticky note that said Sweetheart on my
driver’s side window.” I let out a pent-up breath.

“Who would do this? Why would someone do this,
Preston?” The fear in my body feels like its only
job right now is to suffocate me. I’m trying to keep
calm, but this is fucked up.

“Do not move, Angel. I’m on my way. Did

you already call the police?”

“Yeah, they are on their way right now.”

“Good girl. I’m on my way, I’ll be there in a

minute. Stay inside, do not go outside, got me?”

“Yeah. I won’t move.”

“I love you, Talia.”

“I love you, too.” I hang up, on edge.

Whoever it was, followed me. Because I know that
note wasn’t there after class. I sit in the restaurant,
shaking. Fear and anxiety seizing me, gripping its
wiry hands around my neck. I know one thing for
sure.

Sawyer is getting a fucking visit.

◆◆◆

I open my eyes, and for once, I’m not

scared or anxious.

I’m pissed. It’s like the Talia-attitude I had

before Mac died has returned. I’d like to think she’s
giving me some of my fire for today.

I look up to my ceiling and whisper to her,

“Thanks, Babe.”

Preston rolls over, “What, Angel?” He asks

sleepily.

I smile and give him a kiss, “Nothing. I’m

gonna make some breakfast for us.”

He mumbles something and burrows himself

back under the covers. I just shake my head and
chuckle at him. I stand up and take a deep breath,
making my way to the kitchen to start breakfast.

I have to figure this out. There is no one on

this Earth, besides Sawyer, who would know the
meaning behind this. But why? Why now, after all
these years? None of this makes sense. It has to be
him; I have no other explanation for any of it.

But why?

I shake my head, turning up Georgia by

Vance Joy, trying to distract myself. Preston comes

out and sits at the table, just in time. I set down our
plates, and just as I go to sit next to him, he snakes
his arm around my waist, pulling me into his lap.

“Thank you for breakfast.” He says into the

crook of my neck, peppering it with kisses. I giggle
and squirm because it tickles, before grabbing his
face to kiss his lips.

“You’re welcome. Thanks for being such a

good host to my sorry ass.”

He stops and looks me dead in the eye. “I

told you I want you here, Talia. For good. I meant
every word.”

I rub the daisy on my arm, “Yeah, I wasn’t

sure if that was a joke or not. And it’s a weird thing
to bring up again.”

“I know, I did that on purpose.”

“Why the hell would you do that? It’s been

nagging at me like a freaking parasite.”

He gives me a shiny smile, “Because I knew

you’d be apprehensive asking you straight out. So, I
hinted at it and let you work it out in your head,
before I brought it up again.”

He knows me. I cock my head to the side

and give him a small, but thankful smile.

“So, Angel, what do you say? Move in with

me.”

I take a deep breath, looking down at my

daisy, making him sweat it out a bit. Then a grin
graces my lips and I look up, “I would love to.”

He smacks my ass and kisses me stupid.

“You think that was funny, Angel?” He bites my lip
as I laugh.

“I mean, the look on your face made it

worth it.”

“Such a little shit.”

I kiss him again and give him my eyes,

“Thank you. For everything, Pres. You don’t know
what it means to me. For taking me today, being
there for me. Loving me. Just… Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, Angel. Loving you is

what I was meant to do.”

I close my eyes, letting his words wash over

me, snuggling into his hold. I take a deep breath,
letting his strength seep into my bones. I’m going to

need every ounce of it today. I honestly never
planned on seeing Sawyer again, and I was
absolutely fine with that. I had no desire for
closure, answers or a goodbye. I was ready to leave
that part of my life behind.

After we eat, we shower and get around and

make the four-hour trip to the prison that Sawyer is
sentenced at. We pull into the visitor’s lot, park and
make our way to the entrance. My hands are shaky,
and my breathing is rapid. Even though summer is
starting to change into fall, my hands are clammy,
and everything seems like it’s in HD and blurry at
the same time. Each step feels like a mile. We
check in, and they check my ID, comparing it to
the fucking application I had to fill out to see him. I
go through security, and then they lead me to an
empty room with a few tables.

It’s bland as fuck in here. Sterile. Kind of

cold. The nervousness tries to bubble up, but I do
my best to keep it down. I take slow, deep breaths,
knowing Preston is waiting for me. Giving me his
silent strength. I close my eyes and focus on my
breathing. My fingers going to my tattoo. I hear the
rattle of cuffs and my eyes spring open. The door
opens and he walks through with a guard behind
him. His eyes widen when he sees me, and then he
does something I was not expecting.

He fucking smiles, like he’s some proud

father.

And I get fucking pissed.

I don’t know what I was expecting him to

look like, but it was not… this. He’s aged in a
natural way, but he looks… good. Better. Clean.
Healthy, even. He’s put on muscle, probably from
having nothing better to do than workout. His skin
has cleared up, his hair is cut, and he is alert.

“Talia? Is it really you?”

I say nothing back as he sits across from

me, just staring at the stranger in front of me.

“Wow, it’s so good to see you. I honestly

wasn’t expecting this. But I can’t tell you how
happy-”

“Stop.” I grind my teeth together, jaw

flexing in anger. “Happy? You’re happy to see
me?”

His demeanor changes, “I know there is a

lot I need to apologize for-”

“No shit.” I say cutting him off.

“I deserve your anger. I deserve your hate. I

don’t deserve your forgiveness, but that doesn’t
mean I’m not utterly ashamed of how bad of a dad
I was to you, Talia.”

My nose flares and my heart rate increases

at the load of shit he’s spewing.

Our eyes lock, and he doesn’t waver his

stare, “Talia, I am so, so beyond sorry. I’m sorry for
hurting you, for not loving you. Everything. Every
single thing. I’m sorry swe-”

“STOP.” I give him a deathly glare, “Do

NOT say what you were about to say. You don’t
call me that. NO one calls me that. Ever.”

His eyes close, anguish taking over his face.

“I’m so sorry about Damon, Talia. I get absolutely
sick and ashamed thinking about what I’ve done,
what I put you through. Who I gave you to. What
kind of dad does that?” Tears build in his eyes and
fall down his face.

“A shit one, Sawyer. You were anything

BUT a dad to me. You get that, right? I was starved
for your love. For your affection. Anything but
what you gave me, and I didn’t know any better so
I turned to Damon.” I pull out my arm, “See these

flames?” I roll up my sleeve, showing him the black
and white flames on my arm, “That’s for when you
held my hand down onto a searing hot pan for
burning dinner. Burning. Fucking. Dinner, Sawyer.”
I show him a design snaked around my arm. It
looks memorizing, but it signifies a belt. “See this?
See the notches? It’s a belt. There are notches in
the entire length, because no matter what I did, I
never fit your mold, and you would punish me for
it. I lift up my shirt and show him the side of my
lower back, see the child praying? Ragged and
tattered clothes? That’s for every fucking meal you
withheld from me.”

Tears are freely flowing down my face,

showing him every indiscretion portrayed on my
body.

“See this fucking daisy? That’s where

Damon bit off a chunk of my arm. I have tattoos
covering my legs, hiding the welts and scars he put
there when he whipped me until I passed out. I had
to get a tattoo to cover his fucking initials he carved
into my body, Sawyer!” I wipe my eyes. “You truly
don’t understand the hell I went through. Not only
from you, but from thinking Damon was…” I take
a breath, “Thinking he was my savior, a best friend,
my way out. No. He was my end. One that you
sentenced me to.”

Sawyers tears soak his shirt, unbothered to

even try and wipe them, like he wants to remember
this moment. Let the tears slice down his cheeks,
wanting them to cause himself as much pain as he
caused me. If only.

Then I let the truth I have never once

spoken out loud out. “The fucked-up part of this?”
I sniffle and wipe my nose. “I fucking forgave you,
because that’s the kind of person I built myself to
be. Mackenzie’s parents did more for me in the
short time they were here, than you did my entire
life.”

He breaks down when I say those words,

head in his hands, sobbing. I give us both a few
minutes to collect ourselves before I continue to the
real reason I came here.

“This isn’t why I’m here though, Sawyer.”

His head rises, he wipes away the remnants

of his sorrow. “What do you mean?”

“Things have been happening. I place

something somewhere and it turns up somewhere
else. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but it
started getting more odd. I completely organized
my kitchen and when I came home, a cup was out

in the sink. I got a couple of sealed blank envelopes
with a blank paper. Then I came home another day
and my bathroom was trashed with the word ‘soon’
written with my lipstick on the mirror.” I take a
deep breath. “Then a few days ago, someone left a
note on my driver’s side window. All it said was…
Sweetheart.” I close my eyes. I hear Mackenzie tell
me, inhale - exhale. So, I do. “I need to know if
you’ve had something to do with this. And if you’re
any sort of a decent human being, if you’re actually
sorry like you say… Prove it right now. Tell me the
fucking truth.”

His eyebrows are furrowed together, he

straightens his back, his entire demeanor changed
into something very serious.

“Talia, I swear to you, on every life of

anyone who ever meant something to me, your
mom even, I have nothing to do with this. I have no
idea who would do this. Damon is dead, I’m in here
and I keep to myself as much as I can. I’m sorry, I
truly have no answers for you.” He licks his lips,
“Did you say you got blank letters?”

My head was in my hands, but at his

response I pop up in question, “Yeah, why?”

He rubs his jaw with his cuffed hands. “I’ve

gotten them too. I thought they might be from you,

symbolizing something. Or hell, even the guards
messing with me. I don’t know. I didn’t know what
to think, but it’s odd we’ve both received them.”

“When did you get these? Do you still have

them?”

“Maybe a month or so ago? No, the guards

threw them away.”

“Shit.” I mutter under my breath. “Who

would do this? You have no one else who knows
our past? Would want something from you? From
me, for some reason? A punishment, anything?” I
take a deep breath, pleading for answers. “I can’t
go through this, Sawyer. So, if you have any idea,
even a sliver of one, please tell me.”

He grabs my hands gently. It startles me at

first, and my first reaction is to pull away, but
something keeps them there. Maybe it’s the little
girl inside me that wanted nothing but love from her
dad. Maybe it’s stupidity.

“I swear, I don’t know, Talia. I’m so sorry I

don’t have more answers for you. But, if you want,
leave your number on my file, I can let you know if
I get more…” He clears his throat, “Maybe I can
call to talk to you sometimes, too?”

I bite my lip in contemplation. “Yeah, I’ll

leave my number. But I don’t know how ready I am
to talk to you like nothing happened, Sawyer.”

He nods his head, “I understand. I do. But I

won’t stop trying. I won’t stop trying to prove how
sincere I am.”

I take a deep breath, slowly nodding and

rubbing my hands down my face. Stressed over the
fact I still have no answers. Stressed over the
fucked-up visit this turned out to be.

What the hell do I do now?

Chapter 26

The moment I see Preston, I fall into his

arms and let out my sobs. He embraces me, always
holding me as tight as he can, which is exactly what
I need. I need the pressure around me, letting me
know I’m not alone in this. Reassuring he’s with me
every step of the way. Kissing my head, waiting for
me to come down on my own, the way I need to,
before he questions what the hell happened. My
cries calm, and I start to unwrap myself from his
arms.

“Come on, Angel. Let’s get out of here.”

I nod my head and clutch his hand as tight

as I can. Once we get into the car, I stare straight
ahead, still processing what the hell happened in
there. I feel so overwhelmed.

Mackenzie, this whole thing with the break

in, and now Sawyer. It’s so much to handle all
while grieving my best friend. God, what I would

give to have her here with me. I close my eyes and
take a deep breath, trying to ground myself for this
conversation.

“Preston, that was so fucking unexpected.”

I close my eyes and he squeezes my hand, giving
me time. “He looked… good. Normal. Sober.”
Then I scoff, “He apologized. For everything. He
even listed them, and I was so fucking mad. How
dare he apologize now, after all this time? All I
wanted from him as a little girl was love, and he
filled me with hate. I freaked the fuck out and
showed him my tattoos for the things he’s done. I
wanted him to feel the pain I did. The pain I can
still feel to this day. I can still remember the feeling
of the sting of every hit. The sear of every burn.
The throb of every bite. The ache of my innocence.
It’s burned in my memory.”

Inhale. Exhale.

“Long story short, he apologized, rather

sincerely. I told him I fucking forgave him, Preston.
I didn’t want to. But I did, because that’s the kind
of person I chose to build myself as.” I breathe in a
deep breath, “God, did that really just happen?” I
shake my head and drop it into my hands. “I left
my number for him. I don’t know if I’ll talk to him
any time soon, but that is only part of the reason I
did it.”

I look over to Preston, who’s been listening

intently the entire time. “He received blank letters,
too. He has no idea who could be doing this.” I
close my eyes, shaking my head in disbelief. “So,
we’re still at square one.”

“Fuck, Talia. This is crazy for so many

reasons. How do you feel? What are you thinking?”

“I don’t even know yet. Terrified about the

letters and no answers, but everything else? I really
don’t know. I wasn’t expecting that. I was
expecting the dad that was an addict and hated me.
I wanted him to look me in the eye and tell me it’s
him. That he is trying to terrify me, for old times’
sake.” I bark out a laugh. “What a dumb thought.”
I groan out loud, “What the hell do I do now,
Pres?”

“You come home, Angel. With me.” He’s

looking at me with nothing but love.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Let’s go. Ryland wants to

see us.”

My brain goes into overdrive on the way to

Ryland’s. I am at a complete loss.

Whoever is doing this, they have one hell of

an advantage.

◆◆◆

We pull up and Ryland is sitting on his front

porch.

“Where’s my fat baby?” I yell as I get out

of the car.

He gives me a big smile. “At my parents for

a few days. He was bouncing off the walls with
excitement.”

“Oh good, I know how much he loves going

over there.” Preston and I give him a big hug, and
we just hold each other for a bit, comforting one
another in the crazy, fucked up hand life is dealing
us. “You look great, Ry. How are you?”

“Getting there. Some days are better than

others. Greyson helps a lot. I won’t lie though,
there are some mornings and nights where the pain
is just too much. I miss her too much. My love has
only grown, and I can’t give it to her anymore. It’s
fucking hard to breathe without her. But those good
moments, I hang onto. That’s all I can do.”

I smile at him, resting my hand on his

cheek. “Love you so much, Ry. She did too. You lit
up her life like a firework. Day by day, right?”

“Right.”

We all take a seat on the porch and dig into

the bagels we brought over. I spill my insane
afternoon and update him on what’s going on.
Preston and Ryland both wear worried faces for
me, and I can’t help but be worried too.

“I just don’t even know what to think.

Someone has clearly pointed me out to do this. I
just don’t understand who. I’m constantly looking
over my shoulder. The anxiety makes me feel sick
all day long. I can’t relax, it’s just so much to
handle. Especially while I’m still missing and
grieving over Mac. Too fucking much.” I rub my
temples, elbows on my knees, my brain is going
into overdrive.

Ry grabs my hand, “You guys are welcome

here, anytime. Call me anytime. Whatever.” He
looks at Preston, “Watch her like a hawk, Pres. I
can’t lose this one, too.”

“Of course, brother. We’ll keep you up to

date, too.”

I look at Ry, and smile, he’s the brother I

never had. He smiles back, but we’re both aching
for a smile we’ll never get in person, again.

“Tell Greyson, I love and miss him. I don’t

want him to be around too much until we figure out
what the hell is going on. If any of this were spilled
off onto you guys, it would kill me.”

“Don’t even think like that, Tal. Preston and

I got you.”

“Thanks.”

We hang with him the rest of the day, the

game turned on and burgers on the grill. For a
moment, I forget about everything going on.

That was mistake number one.

Chapter 27

“Angel, are you sure?”

“Preston, yes. I am a big girl. Nothing has

happened in like, weeks. I have a taser and pepper
spray. I will be fine for a day.” I smile at him and
his overbearing mood. “I promise, I will call you if
anything even remotely crazy happens.”

“Ehh, I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Preston, it’s like twelve hours, I’ll be fine.

You’ll be home by ten. I’ll come straight here after
the bakery. I’m going to be there super late
anyways, I have a fuck ton to catch up on as it is.”

He’s staring at me, chewing a hole through

his lip. His company needs him to go two hours
North for the day to do an audit.

“I want to know, Talia. Even if it’s a fucking

hiccup and you feel odd after.”

“That’s weird, Preston.”

“Yeah, well…” He runs his hands through

his hair for the hundredth time this morning.

“Babe, I promise, I will call you when I get

there, on my break, when I close up and when I
leave.” I pick his chin up so he will look at my
eyes. “And then when you get home tonight…” I
kiss him. “I’ll show you how much I missed you.”

He growls, hands gripping into my hair,

pulling me tighter to him, devouring my mouth.

“Fuck. Fine. Call me, got it?”

“Got it. You’re gonna be late. Get goin’.”

He kisses me one more time, “I love you,

Talia. More than you could ever possibly know.”

“I spent my life without love, Preston. Trust

me when I say I feel every ounce of love you pour
into me.”

He smiles at that, giving me one more kiss

and a long hug. Then he grabs his bags and heads
off. I smack his ass on the way out the door,
because, it is an ass that needs to be smacked.

Often.

I finish breakfast and grab my stuff, making

my way out the door. It’s a beautiful day and it is
cooling off, still slightly muggy, but still beautiful. I
take a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air, closing
my eyes, looking up to the sky. She’s with me, I feel
her.

I smile, “I miss you, Big Mac.” I open my

eyes, a hummingbird floating right next to me.
Yeah, she’s here. These are the moments that get
me through the hard ones. I hop in my car, roll
down the windows and blast my music the whole
way to the bakery. I park in the back, text Preston,
grab my mail and head inside.

“Hi, Kennedy! How are we doing today,

Babe?”

“Hey, Boss. Great! Morning was busy, but it

ran perfect. Just finished putting out some of the
items we sold out of this morning. Been smooth
sailing.”

“Awesome, that’s what I like to hear.” I

smile at her, then head to my office. What I love
about Kennedy, there is no small talk. She tells me
what I need to know and doesn’t ask for more
information than what I give her. It’s the fucking

best, because I hate small talk. I spend an hour or
two sorting through mail, answering emails and
paying some bills. I take inventory in the back, then
place an order for things that we are low on. I
restock what we do have and make sure everything
is clean and up to code. I look at the kitchen island,
thinking of Pres. I smile and go over to the counter,
pulling my shirt down to show my cleavage, and
take a picture. It takes a few shots to get the one I
want, and when I do, I send it with a smirking
emoji, over to Preston. He answers almost
immediately.

Preston: Holy Fuck.

Preston: Angel.

Preston: You’re killing me. And giving me a

hard on in front of about fifty cops.

Talia: *winking emoji*

Preston: That’s where I fucked you on the

counter isn’t it, Angel?

Talia: Mmhmm.

Preston: I hope you’re ready for tonight like

you say you are.

Talia: Give me your worst.

Preston: *smiling devil emoji*

Talia: I’ll be waiting.

Preston: Damn, I love you.

Talia: Love you, too. Xx

I smile and return to work. I run to the post

office, and then to the store and back to the bakery.
It’s time to start baking for the next day, and
Kennedy and I are in the back doing our thing.
Metallica is playing in the background and we’re
both humming along. It makes me smile, thinking of
days Mac and I would do this. Around three pm,
Kennedy packs up to go home.

“Have a goodnight! Thanks for your help in

the kitchen.”

“Of course. Need anything else, boss?”

I smile at her, “No, I’m good. See you

tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

She walks out the back and I lock the door

behind her. I text Preston letting him know I still

have a couple more hours here at the bakery, and
Kennedy just left.

Preston: Okay, text me when you leave and if

you need me. We’re wrapping up in a few hours.

Talia: Will do. Love you.

Preston: Love you, Angel.

I start working on my list for our fall roll

out. Testing recipes to make sure they are what I
want this season. If I want to make any tweaks, etc.
I’m completely wrapped up in baking and singing,
and it feels nice. Almost normal. The song ends, but
a new one doesn’t start. I go over to the system we
had installed in the bakery, to check it out. It’s on,
but unresponsive. I was never good at working this
thing. I tap it a few times, pressing play. But
nothing.

“Damn.” I get out my phone to play music

on my playlist instead. I’m about to press play
when the music starts again over the speakers. I
was relieved at first. But the song.

This song.

Every nerve in my body is on alert as After

the Storm by Mumford and Sons plays over the

speakers, although I make sure to thumbs down this
song on every music platform I’m on, ever. My
heart is beating so loud, it’s deafening to my ears.
My chest feels tight and my hands are shaky. I run
to my purse and grab the pepper spray. I take out
my phone and call Preston. No answer, so I text
him.

Talia: Somethings wrong, Pres. Call me. Now.

I put my phone on vibrate and in my

pocket. I’m silent as I try to listen for anything in
the bakery. It’s hauntingly still. I look around up
front, nothing.

I head to go back into the kitchen, as I’m

pushing the door open, arms squeeze around me
and a cloth covers my mouth abruptly, hands
plugging my nose, forcing me to breathe through
my mouth.

I try to fight back, but my limbs go weak

almost immediately and I fall into familiar arms,
trying to make out the pair of eyes I see through my
own blurry vision. But I can’t.

Then it’s black.

Chapter 28

Preston

Fuck, that demo took too long. We are on

our way back to the office from the field we trained
in today. All I can think about is Talia and getting
home to her. I all but sprint my sorry, love-struck
ass back to get my bag, phone and keys, and get the
hell out of here. Two hours are all that’s separating
me from my girl.

I get back and grab my phone, I see two

missed calls and a text. I open the text.

Talia: Somethings wrong, Pres. Call me. Now.

Shit. I immediately call her number, but it

just rings. And rings. And rings. I grab the rest of
my things and sprint to my car. I peel out of the
parking lot, not caring if the cops I just audited and
trained pull me over. I call again. No answer. Anger
and fear take over, and I’m gripping the wheel

deathly tight. I call Ryland.

“Hey man. What’s up?”

“Ry, somethings up. Talia texted me that

something was wrong at the bakery and I’m two
fucking hours North. Can you check on her?
Something? I’m freaking the hell out.”

“Shit. Yeah, Grey is at my parents. I’m

leaving now. Call the cops yet?”

“No, I’m doing it now.”

“Okay, I’ll call you as soon as I’m there.

Get your ass here, Pres.”

“Call me when you get there.”

I hang up and call 911 straight away, cutting

off the operator.

“Yeah, sorry. My girlfriend owns a bakery

called Bread & Brewed. Someone’s been stalking
her, and she texted me while I was at work saying
something is wrong. I can’t get a hold of her, and I
need someone to go check on her, now.”

The lady tells me to remain calm, fuck that,

and tell her the address. She dispatches officers out

immediately, and then Ryland is ringing me back.

“What’s happening, Ryland?” I’m drilling

him as I’m speeding down the freeway, dodging in
and out of lanes as fast as my car will let me.
Which is fast.

“She’s not here, Preston. She’s gone.”

“What the hell do you mean, Ryland?”

“The back door was wide open, and her car

is still here, but she’s nowhere. I don’t know where
the hell she is, or if someone has her.” He sounds
panicked.

I grind my teeth together, rage and fury

blinding me. I had one job, to keep her safe, to keep
her mine. I take a deep breath, about to spew off
orders, but Ryland speaks up first.

“Cops are here, Pres. I’ll call you back in

just a sec.”

He hangs up and I’m still racing down the

freeway, drastically cutting the time to get home
down, but I’m still about an hour away. If a hair on
her head is harmed, I will freak the fuck out. I feel
adrenaline racing through my veins. I swear if she’s
just out and about and forgot to lock up and forgot

her phone, I’m gonna spank her ass.

But if someone has her…

I will go to the ends of this Earth, to bring

her home.

◆◆◆

I tear into the bakery parking lot, making

the two-hour trip in a little over an hour. How I
didn’t get pulled over is beyond me.

“Ryland? Do we know anything yet?” I say

as I get out of my car.

He rubs his hands down his face, “No man.

No clue. Her phone isn’t here, and they are trying
to track it down. They are also trying to access any
and all camera footage of the day to see if we can
see anything. Otherwise we’re at a complete loss,
with nothing to go on.”

“FUCK!” I punch the brick wall, trying to

feel anything other than what I’m feeling right now.
This is the first time I’ve craved a hit to calm me
the hell down in years. “What do we do, Ryland?
What the hell do I do? We can’t lose her, too.”

His jaw grates together, feeling the same

anger as I do. “I don’t know. But if these cops
move any slower, we’re taking shit into our own
hands.”

“Already done. Let’s go.”

He follows me as I go next door to ask them

for video footage of any outside cameras they have,
but they are closed. Everyone is closed. I take a
deep breath to collect myself. Spastic and irrational
behavior will not help me, I need to chill the hell
out and focus.

“Okay. Let’s go back inside the bakery, see

if we see anything even remotely odd. Then I guess
we’ll head back to her apartment and see if we see
anything out of the sorts.”

Ryland nods and we are already heading

back inside the bakery kitchen. We search
everything. Every nook and cranny, and absolutely
nothing is out of place. Someone definitely has her,
but who? “Let’s go to her house.”

We both drive over to Talia’s. We go into

her building and as I approach her door, it’s
cracked open. I feel my heart race faster with each
step I take. Ry and I both look at each other. We
slowly inch open the door, and once I slowly walk

in, my eyes adjust, and it’s trashed. I turn my cell
phone light on and raise my finger to my lips to tell
Ry not to make a sound.

My hand is on my gun, I almost always

carry, especially lately. I carefully walk around the
broken glass remnants of everything she owns. I tip
toe through to her bedroom, listening first, and then
gently opening the door. Once I’m in there, my
vision turns red. I feel my entire body shaking in
fury. I turn on her bedroom light and I hear Ryland
swear under his breath as we both take in the scene
before us. Her bed and pillows are completely cut
up, her clothes are all over, dresser tipped over. But
that’s the least of my concerns.

The massive word painted in red on the wall

above her bed, is what my eyes don’t move from.

MINE.

I don’t speak. Ryland is trying to get me

out, so we can call the cops for evidence or some
shit, but I don’t hear him. All I see, is someone
sending me a threat. Trying to warn me. They
messed with the wrong person.

Not only will I search this Earth until I find

Talia, but once I find who took her… I will rip their
fucking throat out.

I’m coming for you, Angel.

Chapter 29

Preston

Eight Hours. It’s been eight hours of hell.

Not knowing where my girl is, if she’s okay,
nothing. Not one fucking clue. The cops came and
swept her house for everything. This is now an act
of aggression, and we are on the lookout. Ryland
and I searched the entire city last night, asking and
looking for absolutely any crumb of information.

But nothing.

It’s six am and my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mr. Taylor. We were able to secure

video footage and we found something. Get to the
station as soon as you can.”

“On my way.” I hang up and grab my keys,

turning to Ryland. “They found something on
camera. I’ll let you know what it is.”

“I’m coming with you, dick-bag.”

We are both in the car and on the way to

the police station in a matter of minutes. We hurry
up through the doors and are led to a room with a
TV, it’s paused right now.

“Mr. Taylor, Mr. Bennett.” He shakes our

hands. “We were able to secure this from the
business next door, take a look. He presses play and
we see Kennedy, Talia’s manager, leave and then he
fast forwards a little bit. All of a sudden, the back
door opens, and a guy in all black and a black
baseball cap comes out, carrying Talia over his
shoulders, throwing her into the back of a van.

“Who is that?” I ask calmly with a note of

venom.

“That’s what we are trying to figure out.

From what we can gather from the videos, he’s
about late 40’s, around six feet in height,
approximately 215 lbs. Does that description bring
up any recognition of absolutely anyone?”

He rewinds the tape and zooms in on the

partial face frame they have of him. I shake my
head, “Not one fucking clue.”

“Me either.” Ryland speaks up.

“There is one person you need to show this

to, though. Sawyer Daniels. Talia’s father.”

“Isn’t he in prison?”

I nod my head, and the cop looks at his

partner then radio out to someone that they need to
contact the prison to talk to and show Sawyer the
footage.

“We will let you know what he says. We

will call you immediately with any new
information.”

“Hell no, I’m coming.”

“Mr. Taylor, even if I said it’s okay, you’re

not on the approved visitors list. They won’t let you
in.”

I exhale sharply, running my hands through

my hair, feeling so lost. “Fine. But call me the
minute you find something. It’s already been too
damn long that she’s been gone.”

They nod and we all get up to leave. Ryland

and I get back in my car, wondering what else there
is to possibly do. He gets out his phone to make a

call.

“Hey Mom. No, nothing yet. Okay, let me

talk to him.” He pauses, “Hey buddy, you’re gonna
stay a little longer with grandma and grandpa,
okay? Me and Uncle Preston have some important
work to do, okay?” He smiles, “Thanks, buddy. I
love you. Be good. Bye.”

“What if she’s hurt, Ry?”

“Shut up, Pres. Don’t allow yourself to

think that way. You can’t. It will eat you alive. The
ONLY thing you are to think about, is where the
hell she is so we can get her. Who does she know
that we can talk to?”

I hammer my brain for ideas, I close my

eyes and focus. Think, Preston, think. Then I get it,
my eyes pop open.

“Kennedy! We need to show this to

Kennedy. If he didn’t enter through the back, he
HAD to have come in through the front and hid
somewhere, somehow. That is the only way…”

“Brilliant, Pres. Better than the damn cops.

Let’s go tell them and then head to the bakery,
she’s probably there.”

I head back inside to tell the officers before

they make the travel to the prison. Then we drive
over to the bakery and start banging on the front
door. She comes up and once she sees it’s us, a
worried look overtakes her face.

“Guys, what’s going on?”

“Talia was taken from here last night. We

need you to come look at the footage and see if you
recognize the guy from yesterday.”

“What?! She’s gone?! Shit, let me shut

everything off and take me wherever you need me
to go.” She races to the back, gathering everything
she needs then meets us back up front. She locks
the doors and we head back to the station. Once we
arrive, we fill her in on Talia’s situation, then they
sit us down and show Kennedy the footage. She
gets up close to the screen, eyebrows furrowed
together, then her eyes grow big, her hand shoots
up to cover her mouth.

“Oh my gosh. I’m going to throw up. Oh

no.” She starts hyperventilating, about to have an
anxiety attack. Ryland steps over to her, wrapping
her in a tight hug, whispering something in her ear.
Mac used to get panic attacks often, so I think this
was a natural reaction for him to comfort her. After
several minutes, her eyes blink rapidly and she

controls her breathing, tears rolling down her face.
She shuts her eyes tight, then opens them again to
look at the screen.

“It all makes sense now.” She whispers.

“What does, Kennedy?” Ryland says as he

loosens his embrace on her, grabbing her shoulders
to look her in the eyes.

“This is all my fault.” She says so quietly, I

almost miss it. She takes a seat, buries her head in
her hands and sobs. I look at Ry, and he shrugs,
neither of us knowing what the hell is going on.

“Kennedy, what do you mean? Why do you

think this is your fault?”

She lifts her head from her hands and wipes

her tears. “I’ve been seeing him for three years. I
met him in Virginia, he convinced me to move here,
begged me to. Said he knew someone that owned a
bakery and could get me a job. Didn’t give me a
name or details, just told me to call and see if they
were hiring. Be consistent, because he knew I loved
to bake and wanted me to get a job where I could
get the best experience.” She scoffs, “He was too
good to be true. My family didn’t like that he was
twenty years my senior… but he took an interest in
me and I clung to it like a lifeline.”

“What does this have to do with Talia,

though?” Ryland speaks up, reading my mind.

She nods, “He started getting dodgy these

last few months or so. Controlling, demeaning,
rough, you name it. It was so unlike the Roger I
knew. He was obsessed with my work schedule.
Like freakishly obsessed, claimed he just wanted to
make sure I wouldn’t get mugged or whatever. But
he never once would visit if Talia was around. If we
were to stop in and she was there, he’d make up a
last-minute excuse to back out.” She takes a deep
breath. “Last week, I found a picture in a shoe box.
Multiple pictures. Of a little girl with long black
hair and icy blue eyes. I thought maybe it was a
cousin or a sister or a niece… I don’t know. But
then I found a picture of this little girl sitting on his
lap. Her arms around his neck, wearing a big smile.
Couldn’t have been more than six or seven years
old. I asked him about it, furious because of the
names on the back. Why would he lie to me? Why?
I didn’t understand. None of this clicked into place
until a few moments ago. Until I seen his face.”

“What were the names on the back,

Kennedy?”

She looks me dead in the eyes.

“Damon & his Sweetheart.”

Chapter 30

Talia

Pain.

That’s the first thing I feel when I come

around. The next thing I feel are shackles around
my wrists and ankles. Then my head snaps up,
realizing I’ve had those same exact thoughts
before. When I was fifteen. I blink a few times to
try and clear the fog from my eyes. My breathing
increases and I start shaking as I realize I’m in the
same fucking basement as I was when I was fifteen.
I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling my wrists against
the restraints as hard as I possibly can. Trying to
wake myself up from this nightmare. I can feel that
my lip is swollen, and the familiar ache of a broken
bone is radiating through my forearm. I remember
being groggy from whatever he subdued me with,
and then I remember him throwing me down the
stairs, but then nothing. I think I’ve been
unconscious for a while, but that is the least of my
concerns.

My clothes are still on, and I’ve never been

more thankful.

I look around the filthy basement, much

dirtier than it was seventeen years ago. I try pulling
on my restraints to break free, and I hear a chuckle
come from the dark corner. My eyes immediately
go there, unmoving. So still you could hear a pin
drop.

Then the demon from my very own past,

makes his way out of the shadows. Showing his
aged face. All I feel is confusion and fear. How is
he alive and what is going to happen to me?

“Tsk tsk, Sweetheart. No greeting? All these

years and no hello?” He cocks his head to the side
and smirks, “I thought I had trained you better than
that.”

“How are you alive? I killed you, I know I

did.” I say frantically.

“Come on, Sweetheart. You didn’t think I

had a plan in case things went wrong? You knew
your daddy and I were shit cops. I had several in
my pocket, just in case you wised up and called me
in. They took me in, got me treated at the hospital
and discharged me to be treated off site once I was
stable.” He prowls towards me. I have to try not to

gag.

“Why did the doctors tell me you were

dead, then?”

He smirks, “I had more than just cops in my

back pocket, Baby.” He says as he drags a finger
from my collarbone up to my ear. I turn my head to
get out of his grasp, and he pretends I hurt his
feelings. All of a sudden, he drops his joking smile
and grips my neck in his much larger than I
remember, hands. Squeezing, playing with my
oxygen, letting go so I can breathe, just to tighten
and grip again.

The one thing I have on him, is that I

prepared for this. I fucking prepared for this in case
it ever happened to me again. I know what to do, I
just have to keep my head on straight and get
through this. It is a million times harder than it was
in a harmless gym, though. I try to control my
oxygen intake in my body, but the fear of this man,
and the shock of him being alive, is distracting me.

“You think this is a game, Talia? You

thought I would actually let you live without me?
That was never in the cards for you.” Then he lets
go of his grip on my throat, and I desperately suck
in the air I needed. Trying to suppress my coughing,
my airways are burning.

“Why now? Why wait so fucking long? I

don’t understand.” I barely say.

“Don’t you remember? I’m a patient man. I

was willing to wait as long as I needed to. You
actually fucked up my nerve control in my right
arm and a bit in my leg. It took me twelve months
just to be able to wiggle my fingers. I knew that I
needed to be, without a doubt, completely back in
peak physical shape when I came back for you.
And there was never an if, Talia. Always a when. It
took me five years just to get the optimum control
of my arm and leg back. Then I had to focus of
rebuilding a, pseudo-life if you will, in Virginia. But
I was always keeping tabs on you, Sweetheart.
Making sure you never got too close to anyone.
Any man, at least. But then I also had to formulate
a plan. How would I easily be able to get as close as
I could without you expecting anything? How could
I start to fuck with your head?” He kneels down in
front of me, resting his elbows on my knees. Then
he sighs and smirks.

“That’s when I met a beautiful red-headed

girl named Kennedy.” My eyes snap to his and I
gasp in shock. “Oh yeah, she was an easy one.
Young, desperate for love and attention. But more
importantly, had a passion for baking. I met her
three years ago, got her to move back to Charleston

and keep applying for a job at your bakery. Which
you ate up like candy, by the way.”

He runs his hands through the ends of my

hair.

“Damn, you’ve grown to be such a

beautiful woman. The woman I’ve always dreamt
of.”

“I was a child, you sick fuck.” I spit in his

face, but he just smiles.

“A feisty one, at that. Your spit does

nothing but excite me, Sweetheart. So, save the
dramatics.”

I study the bastard in front of me. He

looks… healthy, for lack of a better word. He
clearly took his rehabilitation seriously. Even
though he’s in his late forties, he’s solid muscle. His
now short, salt and pepper hair is messy. And his
eyes? Dark as the devils should be.

“Damon, you don’t have to do this. Just…

What do you want? Money?”

He chuckles, “You are so cute when you try

to problem solve your way out of this. It’s you. All
I want is you.”

“Please just let me go, Damon. I’ve suffered

enough at your hand. Just, please don’t do this.”

He bends over, right in front of me, mere

centimeters from my face. “Sweetheart, we have
seventeen years to make up for. I hope you’re
ready. Oh! And you can kiss that boyfriend
goodbye. You don’t need him anymore.”

Fuck. Tears well in my eyes and I try to

break out of this damn chair.

My phone. I lean to the side trying to feel it

in my pocket.

“Looking for this?” I look up and he’s

waving my phone in the air. I blow out a defeated
breath. “It will be so much easier if you just
surrender. But if you remember correctly…” He
comes back in front of my face. “I love nothing
more than a good fight.” He licks me from my jaw,
all the way up to my hairline. I try to shrink away
but he won’t let me. I try and refuse to give him my
tears. He bathes in them.

“You think you’re clever, Damon? I have

people that care about me, that are looking for me
this time around. Right this second, even. You
realize that, don’t you? And if I haven’t killed you

by the time they get here. Trust me, they will tear
you to fucking pieces.” I snarl out at him.

Rage takes over his face, but I continue. “I

was never yours. I never will be yours. You tried
claiming something that you had no right to claim.
You may have taken my body and innocence, but
you’ve never had my heart. And guess what?
Someone else has it, it will always be out of your
reach.”

“You should know by now I don’t give a

shit about your heart, Talia. I’ve decorated your
body with not only scars, but tattoos. You’ve
dedicated your body to me. That in itself gives me
what I want.”

“You seem to misunderstand. I hid your

marks with my own. You didn’t put these on me, I
did. I re-wrote the story and inflicted the pain
myself. My. Choice. My body has never been
dedicated to you, nor will it ever be.”

“We’ll see about that. But I’m sick of

chatting. I’d like to start reacquainting ourselves
with one another. What do you say?”

“Screw you.”

“Your fire has grown. I love it.” He says

with a giddy smile, drumming his fingers together.

“You’re sick.”

He moves the hair from my face, running

his finger along my jaw. “That was never in
question, Sweetheart.” He leans down right in front
of me. “I am going to break every piece of your
soul and drink every drop of blood you give me.”

He growls as he puts his mouth over mine. I

try to turn away, but he grips my hair so tight, it
feels like he’s about to pull it out. I open my mouth
and bite is tongue, almost hard enough to take it
off.

He rears back in a yelp, then delivers the

first of many blows to my face. I don’t care, he can
hit me as much as he wants, as long as I can
prevent him from taking yet another piece of me
that isn’t his to take.

“You little bitch.” He’s collecting a pool of

blood dripping from his mouth. I snarl at him,
letting him know I’m not a malleable fifteen-year-
old girl anymore. He dives at me, squeezing the life
out of my jaw, my cheeks cutting into my teeth.
“You’re going to regret that, Sweetheart.”

He shoves the chair backwards, and I fall

flat on my back, head slamming into the concrete
floor. My skull is throbbing in pain, an instant
headache taking over. He kicks me over to my side,
releasing my binds from the chair, and pulls me up
by the hair.

“Time to play.”

Preston, please find me.

Chapter 31

Preston

Hang tight, Angel.

My head is in my hands. We are at a

fucking loss. The cops are visiting Sawyer to see if
we can gather any and all information we can. I’m
still shaking in rage; it’s been too long. I can’t
stomach the thought of him hurting her, again. My
heart cracks at the thought. I’m going to need to
call my sponsor after this shit is over with. I’ve not
felt so anxious in years.

Just because you are sober, does not mean

the craving leaves. Because it doesn’t, it lies
dormant in your body, wanting and waiting. The
perfect predator in the shadows, waiting to show its
face.

Shit. I can’t take this anymore. I’m about to

leave to go search for her. Search for anything, but
the cops walk back in the room. Ryland and I snap
our gazes up.

“Sawyer is devastated. Had no idea about

anything. He gave us any and all information he
could, mainly their old home address and Damon’s
old home address. It’s worth checking out. It’s
about an hour and a half drive, so we need to go,
now.”

We stand immediately and head out with

them. They make a couple calls to the police
department out there to get to the houses
immediately and force entry if they have to. I’m so
fucking on edge. I just want my girl back. I just
want her safe. Ryland pats my shoulder and
squeezes it.

“We’re going to find her, brother.”

“I know, but I’m scared of what I will find.

He’s sick, Ryland. The shit she told me? It’s so
fucked up. But I swear if he’s not dead when I get
there, he will be when I get my hands on him.”

The officers put on their lights and haul ass

to Talia’s hometown. Twenty minutes into our
drive, they get a call from the team out there. Her
house is completely empty and abandoned. They
are enroute to Damon’s as we speak. We are
making incredible time, and probably only have
twenty or thirty more minutes, max.

The cops are patched into their radio’s, and

another twenty minutes later as we are about to pull
into the neighborhood, I hear the words I was
dreading to hear through the speaker.

Requesting backup, shots fired.

Two victims.

Dead at the scene.

Chapter 32

Talia

If you cooperate, Sweetheart, I won’t make it

hurt as bad.

It’s okay, I like a little fight. But you already

knew that.

I already told you, Talia. I will bury you before

I let you live without me.

I said I wouldn’t give him any more of my

tears. But I was wrong. Tears roll down my face,
but not in fear. They stream down my cheeks, for
her. For the thirteen-year-old girl that cried every
single night, because someone robbed her of her
innocence. For the fourteen-year-old girl that yelled
out in pain, because he was too rough. For the
fifteen-year-old girl that endured this torture. For
the thirty-two-year-old girl, reliving her worst
nightmare.

I peeled back three fingernails trying to

claw my way out from his grasp. I chipped one
tooth, head-butting him to prevent my hands being
shackled to the bed frame. I dislocated my knee
kicking him so hard, trying to escape my legs from
being held down.

It wasn’t enough.

I used every single tactic I had ever been

taught.

It wasn’t enough.

I cried and begged for freedom.

It wasn’t enough.

I screamed and cursed in anger.

It wasn’t enough.

I squeezed my legs as tightly together as the

restraints would allow me.

It wasn’t enough.

So, I lay here, every wall of protection I’ve

built up, being violently torn through. There is no
escaping this physically, so I escape it mentally. I
close my eyes and see Preston.

I see football games and playful banter. I

see forbidden kitchen kisses and bakery visits. I see
Chinese food and date nights looking at the stars. I
see car sex and loud music with the windows down.
Best of all, I see him. Telling me how much he
loves me. That he’s coming for me, and just hang
on a little longer. Because he needs me, and I need
him.

Give me every broken piece, Angel. Give

me every single one.

So, I close my eyes and gather every

shattered bit of me and put it in a box.

I wrap it with a tattered bow, and I will offer

it to the boy who also has broken pieces.

I will carry his and he will carry mine.

If I make it out alive.

Chapter 33

Preston

I sprint out of the cop car as they carry a

body covered with a white sheet on a stretcher into
an ambulance. No.

No.

This is all wrong.

It can’t be her. I told her I would protect

her; I wouldn’t let anything happen to her. I can’t
fail her, I can’t.

My hands are shaking, and I feel sorrow and

dread fill my chest.

“No, please no.” I whisper out as I run up to

the paramedics. “Is this the female? Is this her?”
I’m frantic, begging and pleading that it’s not her.
Please.

“Sir, who are you? Are you family?”

“Just tell me! Fuck!” I’m pulling at my hair;

I can’t think straight to even answer.

The paramedic looks at me with sad eyes,

taking mercy on me, she places her hand on my
arm, “No. It’s not her. But she’s unconscious-”

Before she can finish the sentence, I run

inside the house, ripping through the caution tape. I
hear commotion downstairs and I race down the
steps into a hallway. Cops are holding me back
from going in the room.

“That’s my girlfriend, I’m her only family!

Let me the fuck go!” I’m growling. They release
their grip and I run into the room, only to stop in
my tracks. My chest has cracked open and my
heart has been decimated. The scene before me
makes me want to vomit. I don’t know whether to
feel absolute anger and fury, or absolute grief for
my beautiful girl.

She’s swollen and bruised. The blood

running down her thighs makes me see fucking red,
but I take a deep breath and I go over to her. They
have her on a stretcher, but are bandaging a few of
her wounds, stabilizing her.

“Angel? Can you hear me?” I say, trying to

hold back my tears, trying to be strong for her.

Her swollen, beautiful face relents in relief

the moment she hears my voice, “Preston? Is that
you?” She lets out a hoarse whisper, trying to look
at me through swollen eyes.

“Yeah, Angel. I’m here. I’m here and I’m

not going anywhere.”

“Please don’t leave me. Please. Please,

please.” She’s sobbing through her sentence,
breaking my heart with each word, with each plea.

“I’m not leaving your side. Ever. They’ll

have to tear me away.”

She exhales and keeps crying, either in

relief or pain. Probably a bit of both. A few minutes
later we take her upstairs and into the ambulance. I
don’t leave her side. I yell for Ryland to come in
here, but the paramedics try to stop him.

“That’s her brother-in-law. Please?”

“Sorry, we can’t have more than one. Can

he get a ride to the hospital?”

“We’ll bring him.” The officers that we

came with speak up and we both say our thanks.

We are on our way to the hospital, and I

don’t let go of Talia’s hand. I study it, noticing two
of her fingernails are bent backwards on the hand I
am holding. My nose flares and I have to give
everything I have, not to fly off the handle in anger.
I fear for what has happened to her, but I will never
leave her side. I meant what I said when I told her
I’d carry every broken piece.

And I will.

Chapter 34

Talia

“Ma’am, would you like us to perform one?

It is entirely up to you. The moment you say stop,
we stop.”

“He’s dead though, right? I’ve been told this

before, and he came back for me.”

The nurse covers my hand with her own.

“Honey, I directed his body to the morgue. He fired
a shot at an officer when they forced entry into the
home. The officer returned fire, and Damon was
shot in the head. Died immediately. He will never
come back for you again. I promise.”

A weight lifts off of my shoulders and she

pulls me into a hug, I sob into her chest. Preston is
squeezing my hand, never letting go, always giving
me strength. I let go of my nurse and wipe my tears.

“No. I don’t want one. I don’t need one. I

know he raped me.” I take a deep inhale, trying to

keep my voice strong. “Can I give my statement
now? I want this to be over with.”

“Of course. I’ll bring them in.”

I lay my head back, staring at the ceiling.

Fearful that like everything else, Preston will leave
me. I’m used up and worn out. I feel disgusting,
dirty. If I feel this way, I can only imagine what he’s
thinking.

“Pres, I don’t know if you should be in here

for this.”

“Angel don’t push me away. Hey, look at

me.” He gently directs my face to his. “I love you,
Talia. What you or I go through doesn’t determine
how much or waver my love for you. What you tell
those cops, will not change a single fucking feeling
I have for you. I just got you back, I refuse to lose
you again.”

Tears fill my eyes as I choke out, “I’m

broken, Pres. Used and beat up, why would you
still want me?”

“Just because a dollar bill gets stomped on,

crumpled up, washed, or thrown around… It is still
a dollar bill. It doesn’t lose its value. Baby, just
because you’ve been through something no one

should ever have to go through, doesn’t mean you
lose your value. And to me, you are priceless.
Don’t ever question your worth through my eyes,
Angel.”

After everything I’ve been through, how is

it possible to feel lucky? But that is an easy answer.
Preston. He’s everything good wrapped up in a
shiny bow. But, he too, has chips and cracks and
glued on pieces, and I love those the most.

“I love you so much.” I whisper to him.

“I love you more than you’ll ever know,

Talia.” He returns back, resting our foreheads
together, giving me the strength, I need to relive the
last twenty-four hours.

A knock sounds at the door, and two cops

come in. A man and a woman, wearing kind smiles.
“Hi, Miss Daniels. I understand this is very
difficult, but we do need a statement from you. The
nurse told us you are ready now?”

I nod my head and clear my throat, starting

from when I was in the hospital last time, all the
way to the missing items, threats and break-ins.

“Then when Kennedy went home, I can’t

remember how soon after, but the music stopped

playing. I tried messing with the control box, but it
wouldn’t work, so I just returned to the kitchen to
finish what I was doing. That’s when the song that
he played the first time he… raped me, started
playing. It was too eerie to be a mistake. I went to
check the front and when I went to go back to the
kitchen, the next thing I know, I feel him from
behind, placing a cloth over my mouth and plugging
my nose. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help but
breathe through my mouth. I got very weak and
groggy, very fast. I remember coming to when we
got to the house, and he threw me down the stairs.
That’s how I got this.” I wave my casted arm in the
air. “Then I must’ve blacked out again, because the
next time I woke up, I was in the same basement,
same chair, tied up. He told me he had cops in his
back pocket, they took him to the hospital and
somehow also had doctors, too. They relayed that
he was pronounced dead, but they actually
stabilized him then transferred him out of the
hospital to recover somewhere else. I don’t know
where. But he basically bid his time, preyed on
Kennedy, and used her to get close to me. Just
waiting for the right time.”

They are writing everything down, and also

recording my voice.

“And what happened after that, Miss

Daniels?”

“Um, he hit me a few times. And then

pushed me over in the chair. I hit my head hard on
the concrete, then he took me to the room you
found me in. Uh,” I clear my throat, forcing the
tears back. “He tie-tied my ha-hands down. I tried
t-to claw my way o-out, to ki-kick him. But it
wasn’t en-enough.” The sobs are wreaking havoc
on my battered body. “I tried to fo-focus on
something else. On the go-good things. It gets ki-
kind of blu-blurry after that. I just remember Pre-
Preston by my si-side next.” I try to wipe my tears,
so they don’t sting the cuts on my face, from being
hit. Preston is gripping my hand, shaking furiously. I
look at him and mouth, ‘I’m so sorry’. He just
shakes his head, palm on my cheek.

“I love you, so damn much, Talia. Fuck, I’m

so sorry. So, fucking sorry.”

I release the rest of my tears as he says the

words I desperately was needing to hear after my
confession. The cops let me know that they don’t
need anything else.

“You are incredibly strong and incredibly

brave, Talia.” The woman says. All I can give her is
a sad smile, because I feel completely opposite of
those things.

Once they leave, I doze off, still gripping

Preston’s hand. I wake up to two voices. I can’t
make out who very well because my eyes are still
so swollen.

“Hey, Tali-babes. Good to see you.” I hear

Ryland say, rubbing his knuckles gently on my
cheek. I grab his hand and squeeze.

“Thanks, Ry.”

“How are you feeling, Angel?” I give

Preston’s hand a squeeze for my answer. Honestly,
I feel like shit. My entire body hurts. Don’t even
get me started on how I’m feeling mentally.

“When can I go home?”

“Later this evening, as long as you are

feeling up to it. They said you can stay the night if
you are more comfortable doing so.”

I shake my head. “I want to go home.”

“Okay, Angel.”

“Need anything, Tal?” I look over to Ryland

and lift my lips.

“No. I’m all set. Only thing missing is Grey

and Mac.”

Ry takes a deep breath and nods in

agreeance. I slip in and out of sleep the whole day,
and around six pm, they discharge me. They wheel
me out to Preston’s car that Ryland returned to get
and drive all the way here. We have a long drive
back, but they set me up with pillows and blankets
in the front seat so I can be as comfortable as
possible. We drop off Ry, and he kisses my head
goodbye. Him and Pres give each other a long hug.
I think both of them are finally coming down from
the mess we’ve been in. Preston hops back in the
car to head home.

“Baby, we’re home. Let me carry you in,

okay?” I nod my head, too tired and too sore to
argue.

He carries me all the way to the bedroom,

lays me in bed and gets in next to me. I curl up in
his arms and he holds me as tight as he can without
hurting me. Then the real tears come, and there is
no stopping them.

Now, the hard part begins.

◆◆◆

It has been five days since I came home,

and I refuse to leave. I can’t walk out that door. I
know that it is irrational, because I know Damon is
dead. I even feel a difference this time, that I never
had felt before. But there are still bad people out
there, and it is all I can think about. Preston has
been so patient with me, understanding my fear, but
always encouraging me, supporting me.

“I’m so sorry, Preston. I can’t. I just… I

can’t.”

“Okay, we’ll try again tomorrow.” He says,

sealing the promise with a kiss.

I nod my head, “Thank you.”

“Of course, Angel. Ryland was thinking

about stopping by to bring dinner. You up for it?”

I rub the daisy tattoo on my arm. “I love

Greyson, you know I do. But I don’t want him to
see me like this.”

“I know, Angel. Ryland figured that too, so

his parents have him. They said they love you, by
the way.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

He goes to call Ryland, and I check the

locks on the doors probably forty more times. It’s a
very bad obsession I have, that my therapist is
helping me with. So far, she has come to me every
single time. She knows me and knows the best way
to get me to open up. She said I’ve done
remarkably well already. But it does not feel like
that. I feel like I keep slinking back, farther and
farther into this deep dark hole. The night terrors
come for me like clockwork. I told her that and she
prescribed me some sleeping medication, if I want
them. I didn’t at first, because the idea of being
medicated seemed ridiculous. But I am so
exhausted, so I took one last night. No nightmares
and I slept through the night. It’s not guaranteed
every time, but I’m okay with that, so I plan on
taking them as long as she thinks I should.

Preston builds me up, all day, every day.

The man is a saint, and I love him more than I ever
thought I could ever love anyone in my life. But
I’m terrified there is a strong possibility I might lose
him. I have to talk to him about it, but I’m so
incredibly nervous.

“Hey, Pres?”

“Yeah, Baby?” He comes running to me.

“Can you sit down for a second?”

“Of course. What do you need?” He’s so

concerned. I lift my palm to his face and give him a
grateful smile. He will never know how much he
has already helped me heal.

“We need to talk about something.

Something that is a very real possibility, and I don’t
know about yet.”

“What’s going on?”

I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.

I open them and begin, “There is a possibility that I
could be pregnant. Damon didn’t use a condom,
and I just… It is a possibility. I need to know where
you stand on this, if this were to be the situation.”

His frown is deep, but not in disgust. I think

he was expecting something else. “Angel, I told you
I would be here. I will carry every piece that is too
sharp for you, and that includes a baby. If you are
pregnant, I will support whatever your decision is.
I’m not going anywhere, Angel.”

“You mean that?”

“With my whole heart for my whole life.”

I exhale a huge breath in relief, wondering

how the hell I got so lucky to have this man. He
wraps his arms around me, kissing my head.
Always giving me the constant reassurance, I’ve
been needing.

“I love you, Preston. More than you will

ever truly know.”

“I love you. Even more than that.”

I roll my eyes at him. He tries to be playful

or teasing in the right moments. Trying to bring out
the smiles that are so easy for him to do.

I have the three best men in my life.

Preston, Ryland and Greyson. I look up to

the sky, or ceiling, rather, and give my love to my
missing link.

Love and miss you, Big Mac.

Chapter 35

Three Months Later

Talia

It’s Thanksgiving and Ryland’s mom and I

are in the kitchen getting everything ready for
dinner. All the guys are in the living room watching
football. We have a massive spread, and I made
about seven different desserts yesterday. I love this
time of year, and I am absolutely determined to
make this the best day. I begged Kennedy to come
and she said she’d think about it. I had a long talk
with her and told her she has absolutely nothing to
feel guilty about. She didn’t know who he was,
literally. She’s mourning the loss of a man that she
thought was someone else. Someone she thought
was good. My heart just breaks for her.

It took me a few weeks to actually get

outside of the house, but once I did. I cried tears of
joy, and so did Pres. Then it took a bit longer, but I
built up the courage to go into town, then
eventually the bakery. Which I have had top notch
security installed. Everything is about security now.

I am not sorry about it either. Thankfully, Preston is
one hundred percent on board with my security
obsession. He rarely leaves my side, and I am also
one hundred percent okay with that, too.

Sawyer had called several times, and I

decided to call him back a few weeks after
everything went down. It was awkward at first, but
we cried together. We both shared our broken
hearts, trying to start laying a foundation for us to
possibly build some sort of relationship. Now, I talk
to him every few weeks, each conversation getting
lighter and easier, but occasionally, my anger
bubbles and I take it out on him. But, its progress.
Baby steps.

I wipe my hands on the towel, finishing the

small details like the gravy and the sides. Just
before I bring it to the table, Ry’s mom stops me.
She puts her hands on my shoulders and gives me
that motherly look.

“I’m so proud of you, Talia. You have

defeated and overcome something that people
should never have to go through, and you have
done that twice.” She runs her fingers through the
ends of my hair. “You can always, always talk to
me if you need someone. I’m here, day or night.
We love you so much and are so thankful you are
here with us.”

I grab her and we embrace each other in a

tight hug, and I relish in it. There is something
about a hug that wraps your soul in warmth.

“Thank you. You’ll never know how much

that means to me.” We both sniffle and wipe the
tears that welled in our eyes.

“Alright, lets feed these boys!” I laugh and

as we start to take the food out, the doorbell rings. I
rush to the door, looking through the peep hole and
see a gorgeous, curly red head with blue eyes and
freckles. I hurry and open the door.

“You came! Come in, come in!”

“Hey, boss.” I smile at her name for me. She

hasn’t been back to the bakery yet, but I told her,
the job is still hers when she’s ready.

“Kennedy! You made it!”

“Hi, Mrs. Bennett.” She gives a small smile

and hands her a bottle of wine. “I wasn’t sure what
to bring or if you guys even drink. But I didn’t want
to come with nothing.”

“Oh, that was so sweet. Come on, we are

just about to eat!”

We go into the living room, where we have

a long table set up behind the couch, so that way
the game can still be watched while we eat. Big
football fans round’ these parts. Kennedy gives
Preston and Ry’s dad a hug. Ryland greets her with
a tight smile and a handshake. She blushes and I
chuckle to myself. He has that effect on most
women. Especially being a single father. I told Ry,
even though it’s almost been five months, he never
has to feel bad about getting out there again when
he’s ready, if he wants to. Mac would want him to
be happy, and so does his entire family. We all do.
But he completely ignores the advances of women.
And I get it, he is still grieving.

Hell, we all are.

Greyson comes running up and taps on

Kennedy’s leg.

“Scuse me. What is your name?”

She gives him a gorgeous smile and kneels

down to his level. “Why, hello there, handsome.
My name is Kennedy, what’s your name?”

“My name is Gwayson Bennett.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Greyson.”

My little squish giggles and blushes. I think

he has a crush. “You are weally pwetty.”

“What a kind thing to say. I think you are

very handsome.”

“I have my mommies nose. And her eyes.

But evwything else is daddies.” He says with a
shrug, and we all laugh.

“You do have your mommies nose and eyes.

She was so beautiful, huh?”

“The pwettiest!”

“I agree!” Kennedy smiles at him,

completely enamored with little squish, giving him
her full attention. She was a pivotal part of the
bakery when Mac got sick and I needed to take
time off. She was a pillar of strength I needed
desperately and was there every time I needed her.
I look up and see Ryland watching the exchange,
eyebrows furrowed together, eyeing Kennedy, not
taking his gaze off of her.

Interesting.

We all sit at the table, and my heart cracks a

bit. We are missing such a huge piece of this family.

We have her picture at the end of the table, still
giving her, her place. Damn, I miss her. Preston
throws his arm around my shoulders and brings me
to him, kissing the side of my head. I turn and look
up to him so he can press a kiss to my lips next. He
never disappoints. I grin at him.

“I love you, Pres.”

“And I love you, Angel.” He gives me

another quick kiss and then says, “Let’s eat. I’m
fucking starving.”

“Swear jar! You said a bad word!” Greyson

runs out of his seat to grab the jar that Preston and I
fill every time we are here. Everyone laughs and as
Greyson comes back, Preston asks.

“Can I just put a twenty in here and pre-

pay?”

“No. You need to learn a lesson evwy time

you’re naughty, Uncle Pwes.”

Everyone breaks out in laughter, and Grey

smiles. He loves being the center of attention. I
look around the room and the people that surround
me.

My village. I wouldn’t be where I am

without them.

◆◆◆

Today has been the lightest I have felt in

months. Even though Mackenzie wasn’t there
physically, she was with us in every other sense.
Everyone felt it. I think everyone smiled more
today than they have in a while, too. Preston and I
are on our way back home, hands held together and
grins on our lips. I haven’t told him yet, and he
hasn’t pressed it at all, but I’m finally ready.

I tried to make love to him a month ago, but

I freaked the hell out. All I could see was Damon’s
face. But I have made so much progress since then.
And I need this. I need him. We get home and into
the house and he plops on the couch and turns on
the TV.

“Need anything, Angel?”

“No babe, I’m gonna shower really quick,

though.”

He gives me a white smile. “Okay. Holler if

you need me.”

I turn around and a sneaky smile takes over

my face, anticipation and excitement filling me
more than anxiety and fear. And that is how I know
this is right. I hop in the shower but pin up my hair
because it’s already cleaned and curled. I wash and
shave, and once I’m done, I get out and lotion my
body. I put on my favorite lingerie I got before
everything happened and haven’t gotten to wear
yet. It’s a racy and lacy black bra, matching thong
and garters. Even I am impressed when I look into
the mirror. Tattoos decorating my body, long black
curly hair cascading down my back and a confident
smile on my face.

I spritz some perfume and enter the

bedroom and sit on my knees, hands on my thighs
in a submissive position, in the middle of the bed. I
take a deep breath.

“Hey, Pres! Can you come here?” I yell out,

doing my best to bite back a grin.

“Yeah, Angel!” I hear him shut off the TV

and I aim my head down but look at him through
the top of my eyes as he enters. He freezes and his
mouth drops open and he drops the remote.

I try my best to not laugh at his reaction but

having this effect on a man is fucking powerful.

“Holy fuck.”

A seductive smile grows on my lips, waiting

for his instruction. He walks over to me, lifting my
chin with his finger, looking me directly in the eyes.

“You’re ready.”

I nod my head, confirming his statement.

“Good girl.”

Those two words. Yeah, I’m so ready.

“You have all the control, Angel. I may give

you direction, but it is you that holds the power.”

I nod my head in understanding.

“Come to the edge of the bed, take of my

belt, Angel.”

My heart races faster in anticipation, my

hands are shaky. But I feel no fear. Absolutely
none, because I know this man would never hurt
me. He takes off his shirt and throws it across the
room. I lick my lips because he looks fucking
delicious. I see him smirk at my reaction and I
lightly chuckle.

“Take me out, Angel. Then back on the

bed.”

I do as he asks, mouthwatering, every nerve

in my body tingling. I lay back on the bed, my chest
rising and falling as Preston lays over me.

“Tell me to stop anytime, Angel. I mean it.”

“I will. But I need you, Preston. I need you

to erase what he did. I need it like my next breath. I
need you.” I say desperately. His mouth
immediately covers mine, teasing, nipping and
playing. I’m so ready for him, I can’t take it
anymore. He finally gives me what I’ve been
craving. And I feel no fear, no pain, no anxiety.

I feel loved.

I feel cherished.

I feel his.

Tears roll down my face, but it’s because

I’m so fucking lucky to have him.

“I love you so much, Preston.”

“I’ll love you for the rest of my life, Talia.”

Piece by piece. He holds them and puts

them back together.

Epilogue

Three Months Later

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife!”

Preston grabs my face and devours my lips

as Ryland, his parents and Greyson cheer us on in
the small Vegas chapel.

Yep, we eloped in Vegas. I’m wearing a

black strapless mermaid dress and Preston is in suit
pants, a black button up and a black leather jacket.
Weird, but it is hot as hell on him. We both sat each
other down a month ago because we had something
to “talk about”. Well, we both wanted to get
married. We laughed for thirty minutes and then
screwed on every surface of the house.

Priorities.

We leave to go to Ireland tomorrow. Pub

hopping and exploring. I am beyond excited to start
this chapter of my life. Ready to leave this last
season behind and move forward with the ones I

love. With the ones who mean the entire world to
me.

I had a checkup with my doctor recently. I

wanted to get tested and also do a fertility test.
Thankfully, I didn’t get pregnant from Damon. A
blessing I was so happy to receive, and I have a
clean bill of health. I think I cried happy tears for
two hours straight, not having to worry about
bringing something from my past into my future.
I’ve made remarkable leaps in my healing journey,
and it’s because of the people around me today.
And I’ve been down this path before. The person I
chose to grow into, wanted to be the person who
uses her trials to help others. I refuse to play the
poor victim. Even though that is exactly what I
was, I am choosing to use it to grow. Help others.
So now I am getting an online certificate to help
and mentor victims of abuse, and volunteer at a
local center.

I’ve never been prouder to help these young

women and men.

I look over at my beautiful husband and

smile.

“You put me back together. All my pieces

and all my chips, you mended them back together,
stronger than I ever was before.”

“No, Angel. You mended them. I devoted

myself to give you the love that you needed in
order to do it.”

“Fuck, I love you.”

“I love you, Angel.” His eyes scour the

room, “What do you say we sneak out and christen
the car as a married couple.”

“I’d say, hell yes. Take me, husband.”

“Good girl.” He growls into my ear as he

hauls me up over his shoulder and I laugh loudly in
surprise.

“You have a great ass, husband.”

“I can say the same thing to you, wife.”

We make it to the car, and we are sitting in

the back. Just like we did all those years ago. No
idea what was in store for us. And with everything
that has happened, and that has brought me to this
moment. This sweet moment with my husband…

I wouldn’t change a thing.

The End.

Bonus Scene

Ryland

“Hey Dad! I’m gonna be late for baseball!”

“I’m coming, bud!” I reassure my son as I

make sure I have all his gear. It has been a full year
since I lost the love of my life. To say it hasn’t been
a whirlwind would be a complete lie. I still reach
over and feel for her in the middle of the night, only
for my heart to ache and break all over again. I still
look for her, baking in the kitchen or making coffee
when I come downstairs in the morning.

I miss her in the little moments. When

Greyson gets an A or hits the ball during a game. I
look for her, but she’s not there. I feel her around
me though, and it brings more comfort than what is
normal, but it’s those moments I depend on to get
me through to the next moment.

“Alright, Grey, go get in the car-” I say but

I’m cut off by the knock on the door. “Hang tight,
bud. You’ll be on time, I promise.”

My son rolls his eyes at me. For a five-year-

old, he sure has an attitude.

I open the door and my eyes open wide

when I see that it’s Kennedy.

“Hey, I’m so sorry to drop by like this. But I

think I left my phone here last night. It was dead
though, so I haven’t been able to call it.”

“Oh, uh. Yeah, sure come in.” Talia,

Preston, my parents and Kennedy all came over for
game night last night. I think it was the first time I
allowed myself to laugh, and I mean really laugh,
since I lost Mackenzie. I stare the wavy, red-headed
woman in front of me. Soft blue eyes and a
smattering of freckles covering her face. As much
as I try to deny it, she’s damn beautiful.

I move to the side and let her in, and she

sees Greyson, “Hey bud!”

“Kennedy!” Grey yells and practically

jumps in her arms with an enthusiasm he rarely
gives me anymore. “Will you come to my game?
Please, please, please, please, pleeeeeease?” Wow.
He is laying it on thick.

She hesitates, “Oh, um. I don’t-” Flicking

her eyes between me and my son.

“You’re more than welcome to come,

Kennedy.” I speak up. She’s so nervous around me
it’s almost comical. I thought Mackenzie was bad,
Kennedy has known me for a long time, and still
stutters.

She looks to Grey who is now pleading with

his hands together and bottom lip pushed out. She
smiles, “Well, I can’t say no to that cute face, can
I?”

“Nope! Now let’s go, slowpokes!” We both

laugh.

“I’m just gonna check for my phone really

quick and I’ll be out.” I nod my head and make my
way out to the truck, throwing his gear in the back,
then back up to lock the house up. She comes out a
moment later waving her phone with a shy smile.

“In between the cushions.” She chuckles,

“Thanks. I’ll uh, I’ll follow you guys there?”

“You can ride with us, come on!” Greyson

yells out the truck window.

She goes to refuse, but something in me

speaks up. “He’s right. You can ride with us. We’re

gonna have burgers after too. It’s a nice day, you’re
welcome to join us.”

Her eyes open wide and her mouth slightly

opens, I almost laugh, but I keep it to a smile.

“Um. O-okay. Let me just grab my bag.”

She runs to her car and grabs her bag and jogs back
to me. “Are you sure? I can drive…”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure.”

She bites her lips and looks away, but when

she looks up, she’s wearing a shy smile I’ve never
seen before and it’s a little hard to swallow.

What the hell did I just get myself into?

To Be Continued…

Helplines

Mental, physical and sexual abuse, and drug

addiction, occurs every day in the lives of men and
women of all ages. It is extremely serious, and if
you or your loved one is suffering, please reach out
for help.

National Drug Helpline: 1-844-289-0879

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-

4673

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-

799-7233

Please reach out, there are so many who

believe you and will help you.

Your story matters.

You matter.

So much love to you <3

Acknowledgments

First off, thank YOU! For reading this book

and giving it a shot. I am so grateful you took the
time to read my words. I am truly humbled and
honored to put my words out there. This story
meant a lot to me on another level. I’ve been a part
of, and know people, who have been a part of these
experiences in this book. While fiction, serious and
devastating things such as these happen every day.
My heart breaks for every single boy, girl, man or
woman who has suffered at the hands of someone
else. Not only that, but if they have tried to reach
out, and either weren’t believed, or no one took the
time to help them.

My heart breaks for every addict, and every

family member of an addict. It is not easy, and it is
devastating.

Please, if you feel you have no one, email

me, DM me, or call the numbers on the previous
page. My ear is always available for listening.

Thank you again for giving life to Talia and

Preston. They will forever hold a piece of my heart.