ShotgunWedding

AinsliePaton

Thisstoryisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,placesandeventsaretheproductoftheauthor’svividimaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblancetoactual
events,places,organizationsorpeople,livingordeadispurelyco-incidentalandbeyondtheintentoftheauthorandpublisher.Copyright©2016

ShotgunWedding

AinsliePaton

MarryinHaste.Hell,Yeah

Warning:Donotreadthisbookifyoudislikeweddings.

ReidwantsaringonZarley’sfinger,butZarleydoesn’tneedaweddingtofeelmarriedtoReid.Owenis
readytostartafamily,butCaraisn’tsureshewantskids.SarinaispregnantandproposedtoDev,andhe
wantsawedding—bytheweekend.

Venue,guestlist,invitations,thedress,thesuit,rings,vows,catering.It’salottogetdoneinafewdays.
Whatcouldpossiblygowrong?

Onlyonethingiscertainwiththisshotgunwedding,loveisthetriggerandheartswilltakeadirecthitof
happiness.

Forbetter,forworse,forever.

ThisisforreaderswhoenjoycatchingupwiththeHEAsofcouplesintheSidelinedseries.Allthe
storiesinSidelinedcanbereadindependently,inanyorder,exceptShotgunWedding,whichismore
funifreadafterOffensiveBehavior,DamagedGoodsandSoldShort.

ShotgunWeddingincludesabonusSidelinedOriginsstory,RunningInterference,abouthowReidand
DevmetSarinaandOwen.

Acknowledgements

BetateamsaidtheywantedmoreofDevandSarina.

RhianCahillsaidthiswasagoodidea.Shewasright.

Here’showthatwentdown:

Rhian:Everybodylovesweddingandbabies.

Ainslie:I’msuchanon-girlIforgotaboutthat.

Rhian:LOL.Yep.That’swhyyouhaveme:)

Chapters

ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
RUNNINGINTERFERENCE
INCONSOLABLE
AboutAinsliePaton

ONE

Reid

ZarleylookedupfromherlaptopwhenReidwalkedintothediningroom,butitwasabriefflickof
lashesandbythetimethey’dexchangedagreeting,he’dalreadylosthereyes.

Anddidn’tthatsuckballs.
One,becauseitmadehimfeellikeaneedyfucktowantallherattention,whenheknewshewas

stressedbythefactshehadanightclubtoopen.Two,becauseSarinawaspregnantandholyshit,thatwas
abigdeal.Three,becauseDevfinallywisedup,andheandSarinaweregettinghitched—shotgunstyle.

Andfour,becauseReidwasaneedyfuckwhereZarleywasconcernedandhemissedher,andright

nowshedidn’thavetimeforhim.

Screwthat.
“Haveyoueaten,Flygirl?”Hewashomeatadecenthour,andshe’dchosentoworkhereandnotin

herofficeatLucky’s,leasthecoulddowasgetsomethingonaplateforher.

“No.Ineedto...”Shewavedahandatthestuffpiledonthetable.
“Getwhateveryou’redoingdone.”
“Ah-hah.TwoweekstothesoftopeningandIdon’tknowifwe’regoingtomakeit.”
Hedidn’trespond.Hehadnoideaifshe’dbereadytoopenthenewLucky’s.Hewassupposedto

saysomethingreassuring.Heknewthat,anditwasreinforcedwhenshelookedupexpectantly,buthehad
noideawhatwentintoopeninganightclubandheneverhadbeenamanforemptysmalltalk.

Andsheknewit.Sherolledhereyesathim,aquickuptickofherlipsandthenshewentbackto

whatevershewaswranglingonherscreen.

“Sarinaispregnant.”
Thatgotherattention.“Ohwow.”Shegavehimoneofherkneecaptighteningsmiles.“Sinceyou

choseherdonorthatmakesyoukindoflikeagodfather.Isshehappy?Isshewell?”

“Ididn’tchoosethedonor.”ThoughhehadhelpedSarinashortlistspermdonorsandselecttheone

sheintendedtofatherherkid.Buthe’dmissedatrickwhereDevwasconcerned.“It’sDev’skid.”

“Devwasadonor.Ithoughthedidn’tlikethewholeidea?”
“Hegotoverit.Madeadirectdeposit.”
“Awhat?”Shelaughed.“Oh.Really?DevandSarinadidthenasty.”
“Madeababy.Wantawedding.”
Zarley’seyeswidened.“Oh!”Thennarrowed.“Youdon’tlookhappyaboutthat.”
“I’mhappyforthem.”
“But?”
Butit’dbeennearlythreeyearssincehe’dfuckeduphisprofessionallife,turnedfull-timedrunkand

becomeobsessedwithhislittlepoledancer.Threeyearssincefallinginlovehadhelpedhimbecomea
lessdefectiveperson,lesslikelytobeanoutrightoffensiveasshole;sincehe’dgothisacttogetherand
gottenhiscompanyback.He’dproposedforfuck’ssake.Attheendoftheirfirstyeartogether,undera
spotlightonthestageintheemptied-outshellofLucky’s,andtheconcepthadn’tfrightenedZarleyaway,
butithadn’tgottenaringonherfingereither.

Thatring,speciallymadeforhersoitwasflashybutwouldn’tgetinherway,smoothedgesandflat

surfacesandenoughsparkletolightadarkroom,wasstillinitsbox.

“Butyouandme...”herubbedhiseyes.Hewasbeingadick.
“Arehappy,Reid.We’rehappy.”Shefrownedathim.“Oristheresomethingyou’renottellingme?”

“We’rehappy,butyouknowwhatIwant.”
“AndyouknowIdon’tthinkweneedaweddingtomakeusstrongertogether.”Hereyeswentback

toherscreen.

“Emptyritual.Igetit.”Notliketheyhadn’thadthisconversationbefore.“Doesn’tmeanIdon’twant

itforpracticalreasons.”

“We’realreadypracticallymarried.Whatrealdifferencecanaceremonymake?”
He’dgowiththat.“Lastweek,thatdayitrainedlikewe’dneverseesunagain,Inearlycameoffthe

bike.”It’dbeenaveryclosecall.Anotherinchortwoandhe’dhavemetthefrontgrillofanSUV.Her
spinestraightenedandsheclosedthelidofthelaptop.Hehadherfullattention.“Oilontheroad,theback
wheelkickedout.”Asitwashe’dfelttheheatofthecar’sengineonhisfaceandhisshoulderswerestill
tightwiththeeffortofwrenchingthebikeuprightandoutoftheslide.

“Younevertoldmethat.”
“You’vebeenbusyandnothinghappened.”Butitcould’vebeenbad.Trafficcametoastandstill,

hornsblared.Could’vebeenrealbad.

“Nottoobusytoknowyoualmostgotinanaccident.Reid,comeon.”Flashofangerinhereyes.

“That’snotfair.”

What’snotfairisthatZarleydidn’tseethereweregoodlegalreasonsforthemtomarry.“Ifanything

happenedtome,itwouldbedifficultforyou.”

“Ifanythinghappenedtoyou,BackBooth,itwouldbehellforme.”Sheshookherheadandthe

pencilholdingherhairpiledonherheadfellout,theglossylengthofitfallingoverherneckanddown
herback.Shepickedupthepencilandwaggeditathim.“Don’ttalklikethat.”

Shehadn’tusedthatoldnicknameforawhile.“Ididn’tmeanthat.”Butfuckerthathewas,thefact

shewasaffectedmadehimsmile.“Imeantlegally.”

“I’mnotwithyouforyourmoney.I’mmakingmyownwaybecausethat’simportanttome.We

agreedaboutthat.”She’dlefthimtodemonstrateit.Hewasneverforgettingit.

“Iknow,butit’snotassimpleasthat.Ihaveacomplexestateandmywillistricky.Idon’twantto

havetothinkaboutitbeinghardforyou.”

“Reid,wecan’tmakeusaboutyourassets.”
“Youwon’tletmemakeitaboutlovingyou.”Shecertainlydidn’tunderstandthealmostprimitive

instincthefelttomakeamarkonhersoshewasindisputablyhis.Hedidn’tunderstandithimself,buthe
feltit.Aneedtoclaim,brand,tiehersotightlytohisownlifehefeltsecureshewouldn’tevergo
missing.“Ialmostcameoffthebike.IalmostwentunderanothercarandallIwasthinkingaboutwhileI
foughtthegroundfortractionwasyouhavingtofightforwhatyoushouldinheritbecausewe’renot
marriedandanythingcouldhappenifI’mnotheretostopit,andfuck,that’snotwhatIwantforyou.”

Hepalmedhisface.Shoutingatherwasn’tgoingtogethimwhathewanted.
Therewasablitzed-outmomentofsilenceandthenshesaidsoftly,“Comehere.”
Shewasusingthebigglassdiningtableasadesk.Hestoodalittlewayinfrontofitandtheywere

separatedbypilesofpaperandtech,piecesoffabricandanarchitect’sphotoboard.Andagut-loadof
sexualtension.

Hedidn’tmove.Hewasangry.Angryabouthowvulnerableapatchofoilontheroadmadehimfeel,

abouthowanalmostaccidenthadlefthimgaspingforbreath,becauseallhecouldthinkaboutwasZarley
havingtofightwithcharitiesandotherbeneficiariesandGodknowswhoelse,nomatterhowcarefulhis
lawyerswere,tobefairlytreatedashisgirlfriend,whenshe’dshareeverythingwithhismomwithout
challengeifshe’dwearhisfuckingringandbehiswife.

Itwasn’tromantic,buthe’dtriedthat.He’dtriedlovingherintoacomplacentcoma.He’dtried

givingherthespacesheneededtomakeherownwayandnotbeswampedbytheoverwhelmingfactof
himbeingfuck-offwealthyinawaythatwasseriouslycomplicated.

DevhadlovedSarinaforalongtime.ReidneverthoughtaboutthatbeforeSarinaannouncedshe

wasgoingtohaveababywithadonorandthenit’dstruckhimhowmuchtimethetwoofthemhad
wastednotbeingfullytogether.

OwenwithCarabyhissidewasarebootedversionofwhathe’dbeenlikewhenthey’dfirstmetat

college.Theguywashappyanditflowedthrougheverythinghedid.Hewasanevenbetterleaderforall
thatlivingwithandlovingCaradidforhim.

ThiswithZarley,thisbeinginlove,cravingeachother’sbodies,makingalifetogetherwasalmost

enough,anditwasalmostanaccidentwaitingtohappen.Hestoodwherehewas,tryingtogetaholdof
therisingheatoffrustrationinhischest.Hedidn’twanttofightaboutthis.Hewantedhertowearhis
fuckingringandbehisgoddamnwife;ifnotbecauseitwouldmakeitharderforhertoleavehis
ridiculousass,forsensible,practicallegalreasons.

“Isee,”shesaid,standing.“It’slikethat.”
Sheworeaskimpywhitetankthatdidn’tmeethertinycut-offshortsandshewasbralessand

barefoot.Sheleanedonthetable,handswide.He’dlostcountofthenumberoftimesthey’dusedthat
tabletomakeamealofeachother.Theaccidentwaitingtohappennowwasthateverythingonthetable
wouldbeonthefloorinthenextthirtysecondsifshedidn’tstoplookingathimlikeshewantedtrouble.
She’dbenakedinlesstimethanittookhimtomutteracurse,andhe’dforgeteverythingthatwasfucking
himoffwhenhehadhermouthandherhandsandherlegswrappedaroundhim.

Itwaslikethat.Shecouldgivehimthatdetermined,goingtomessyouuplookandhe’dforget

everythingthatwasn’ttheburningneedtobeclosetoher,tobealloverher,withhermoansofpleasurein
hisearandherincredibleathlete’sbodyathisdisposal.

“Don’t,”hewarned.Unlessshedidn’tcareaboutwhatwasonthetable;didn’twanttofinishher

work.

Shearchedherback,thrustherbreastsout.“Don’twhat?”
Herockedbackonhisheels,hewasonunsteadygroundhere.Heshouldn’tgiveinsoeasily.“Think

youcanfucktheideaofmewantingyouwearingmyringoutofmyhead.”

Agrin,shewetherlips.“ThinkIcantry.”
Withonehand,shetoyedwiththeendofhertank,flashinghimherslenderwaist,thosefirmoblique

musclesandtheswellofherribcage.Madehisheartkick;excitementandrawdesire.Thisiswhatitwas
likebetweenthem.Thisdanceoflust,makingitimpossiblenottowant,nottoputeverythingelsegoing
onasidetofocusoneachother.Threeyearsandthey’dbeentogethereverywaypossibleandoften
enoughforittohavebecomeroutine,andstillfrombehindthetableshewasathreattohishealthand
wellbeing.

Shedidn’thavetotry.Sheonlyhadtobeandhewantedher,butinthreeyearsthathadchanged.

He’dstoppedfearingitwouldend,thatshe’dwiseupandleavehisdifficulttogetalongwithass,untila
wetnightandasidewaysslide,ashriekingengineandblindinglight,andhewasrightbacktothat
treacherousplaceoffearwherehehadeverythingtolose.Hefuckinghatedhowoutofcontrolthatmade
himfeel.

Hewasonhiskneebeforeherecognizedthemovementforwhatitwas.
Shedid.“Reid?”
“Marryme,Zarley.”
Shegavearesignedsigh.“YouhadascareandI’mmadwithyoufornottellingme.”
“Marryme,Zarley.”
“It’saformalityandwedon’tneedit.Andnotetoself.Don’taskawomantomarryyouwhenshe’s

madwithyou.”

“You’remadaboutmeandIfuckingneedit.”
Shecamearoundthetableandstoodinfrontofhim,handsjammedonherhips.“Youalreadyown

me,body,heartandsoul.Idon’tneedanythingelsefromyoubutwhatwe’vegot.”Shetookhischininher
hand.“WhatIknowwe’regoingtohaveforever.”

“It’snotenough.”Heintendedthattocomeoutwithforce,tomatchthewayhejerkedhisfacefrom

herhandsandgottohisfeet.Theystoodclose,body-brushingdistance.

Zarleywasforcedtotipherheadbacktolookhimintheeye.“Ifyoudieonme,lastthingI’mgoing

tocareaboutisafightoveryourmoney.”

“Sinceweagreeonthat,Idon’tseewhattheproblemwithsomepaperworkis?”
Sheglancedaway,amischievouslookonherface.“IguessIhavetoadmitIwanttokeepmyoptions

open.”

Somethinginsidehimfishtailedandslidsideways.Mercilesslittlewitch.Shewasplayingwithhim.

Hegotinherface.Itwasaprecursortogettinginsidehershorts.“Youroptionsclosedoutthemoment
youstoodinthewingsofthatstageandletmeseeyou.Themomentyouseducedmebybeingfearlesson
yourpole.Yousealedyourfatewhenyoupunchedoutanassholeinthealleyandcalledmeonbeinga
drunk.”

Shepushedhisfaceaway.“Ithoughtyouwereadrugdealer.”
“AndstillyoupickedmeupwhenIwasdownandputmetobedwheneveryoneelsewould’veleft

metorot.”Hesaidthatwhiletrailingafingerupherarm,fromwristtoelbow,intothedivotofmusclein
herbicepanduptohershoulder.Theybothwatchedhishand.

“Ididmorethanputyoutobed,”shesaid,asheflattenedhispalmoverherchest,thumbtothepulse

jumpinginherneck.

“Yourchoiceinthematterofuswasmadewhenyouwenttoyourkneesinmyshower.Whenyou

tookmetobedandshowedmewhattodowithmybodytomakeyourbodyfeelgood.”

Sheleanedintohishand.“Irockedyourworld.”Shediditeverytimeshesmiledathim.Everytime

hewenttobedwithherinhisarms.She’dtiltedhisworldonawholenewaxis,madeitrevolvearound
her.

“Itwasgameoverforyouwhenyoudrewupthatlistofallthewayswecouldpleasureeachother

andwhenyoutookmeplacesI’dneverhavegonealone,mademeavoyeurandamanwhoagreedto
shareyou.”

“Youdon’tshare.”Saidwithawickedpout,apracticekiss;theshapeherlipsmadewhentheywere

waitingforhis.

He’dsharedherthatonceintheparkinParis.“Notunlessyoumakeme.”Andshecould.Shecould

makehimdoanything,evengiveuponthisneedtotiehertohimlegally.Shewasright,itwasaformality.
Itmadehiswillatidierdocument,lessopentobeingfuckedwithifoneofthecharitieshegaveto
decidedtheydidn’tlikeacommonlawgirlfriendtakingthebulkofhisassets.

“YouscaredI’llleaveyou?”
“Nope.”Heronetruefailingwaslovinghimstupid.Andheknewwhattolookfor.Howtomeasure

hertouchandherkissandherwayofbeingwithhimagainstherowninsecurityandambition.Hewas
nevergoingtoletthosethingscomebetweenthemagain.

Shelaughed,putherhandtohisstomachwherehistemperstillroiled.“Thenwhatisthisabout?”
DevandSarinawouldmarry.IfOwendidn’tgetaringstuckonCara’sfingerbeforeSarina’sbelly

popped,Reidwouldbeforcedtoconcedehewaswrongabouttherightnessofthetwoofthem.Hewas
neverwrong.

“What’stheproblemwithamanwantingawomantobehisallthewaysthereare?”
“Noproblem.”Zarleyedgedclosersothatallalongtheirbodies,theygrazed.“What’stheproblem

withawomanwantingtobeaman’spartnerwithouthavingthatpartnershipdefinedintermsreligionsand
lawyersfindacceptable?”

Fuck,hewantedher.Hisspinewaselectricwithit,histhroatgonetightsohisvoicecameoutlow

whenhesaid,“Noproblem,”inawaythatmadehershiver.

Theystaredateachother.Iftheytouched,there’dbenomoredebate.Iftheytouchedthere’dbe

instructions,hers;assurances,his.There’dbebreathlessgruntsandinarticulategroans,alanguageall
theirswhentheycametogetherinaclarifyingrushofheatandtensionandfreedom.

“Youwin.”Heputhishandtoherfaceandsealedhislipsoverhers.Shewouldalwayswin,because

sheneveraskedanythingofhimhewouldn’tultimatelygive.

Didn’tmeanhe’dstopwanting.

TWO

Cara

Thethingaboutamanwho’dlearnedhowoftenhecouldmakeyoucomeinasinglenightwithouttaking
anythingforhimselfwasthathegotoffonit.Hothemmingtape,Carareallyshouldn’tcomplain.Multi-
orgasmic,gome.Buttonight,Owenwasweaponizingherorgasmsbecausehewantedsomethingshe
wasn’treadytogive,becauseDevandSarinawerepregnantandwantedaweddingandOwenwanted
onetoo.

“Areyoutryingtokillme?”shegasped,ashereachedforherfavoritewand.
“Youdiesogoddamnbeautifully,Starburst.”
Shecouldstophim.Shecouldleavethebed.Shecouldclaimhungerorexhaustion,backpainora

sewinginjury.He’dcoolit.He’dsettleforcaressesandkissesandcuddlinghertosleepwithouta
complaint.Reallysheshould,itwasgreedytowantwhathecoulddowiththatwandafterwhathe’d
alreadydonetoher;takenthereinstomakeherbodyspinandjerkandtumblewithoutleavinghis
embrace.

Hebroughtthetoytoherhipflexor,thattenderspotwhereherlegjoinedherbodyandsetittopulse.

Itwastoofarawayfromwhereshewantedit,butcloseenoughtomakehertwistagainsthim.

“Whynot?”hesaid,lipsmovingonherthroat.
“Becausewe’retoonew.”
“Youthinkthelongerwegoonthelesslikelywe’llwanttobetogether?”
Shedidn’tthinkanythingmuchbecausehemovedthewandtoherpubicmoundandmadeitbuzzin

erraticpatterns.“Idon’tknow.”Itcameoutawail.

Hetookthewandaway.“Letmeknowwhenyoudo.”
Shegroaned.Whatweretheytalkingabout?Sheonlyknewshewantedthewandbackorhisfingers

orhismouth,orthatveryfineerectionithadtakenhimawhiletogetbutwasnowpressedtighttoher
hip.

Sheturnedherheadandfoundhislipsandforthelongesttimehestoleherbreathwiththethrustand

suckanddragofhistongueuntilthewandwasback.Hebuzzeditlightlyoverhernippleandthen
followedtherewithhismouth,flickingtongue,whilehetraveledthewanddownhermiddle,satitover
herbellybuttonandthendown,down,overherbuckinghipstoherentrance.

Andthenheshutitoff.
Sheyelpedinfrustrationandheclosedhismouthoverhernippleandsuckedhard.
Shepushedhisfaceaway.“Wereyousomeanbeforeyouwerebroken?”Beforehisabilitytoget

hardandorgasmhadbeenstrippedfromhiminapileupofcrunchedmetalandcrushedvertebrae.

“It’sanewlyacquiredcorecompetency,”hesaid,rollinghishipssohisdickgroundagainsther

hipbone.Somenightshecouldn’tgethard.Ifhisbackgavehimpain,ifhewasovertired,butitdidn’t
mattertoeitherofthem.

She’dhadaboutathousandorgasmssincethefirstonetonight,fullyclothedonthekitchencounter,

andhe’dhadnone.Eventuallyhe’dhaveenoughoftormentinghersobrilliantlyandgivein,andthen
they’dbothbeecstatic,butfornowshesquirmedagainstthesmoothrubberofthetoy,gettingitall
slippery,makingherselftwitchy.

“Iwanttocallyourdadandask.Marryme.”
“Screwasequin.Don’tmentionmydadinbed.Turnthatthingonandfuckme.”

Histeethinhershoulder.“Please.”
Shestilled.Thatpleasewasoutofplace.Hewasn’taskinghertobepolite.Sheturnedherfaceand

openedhereyestoseehimstaringdownather.Thevibratorpulsed,hehaditonthesettingthatwould
increaseinferocityuntilitpeaked,stoppedsuddenlyandstartedthecycleagain.Hermouthdroppedopen
ashedraggeditthroughherwetness,herhipsjerking,settlingtoacceptthepressure,thesuddengroan-
makingelectric-likeshocks.Shecouldlookathisfaceforeverexceptshewasbeingtorturedbyamillion
eroticboltsandcouldn’tkeephereyesopen.EverythingaboutOwenhadshockedher.Hisdrugaddiction,
hiswillingnesstoacceptresponsibilityforhisshit,hishumilityandhisabilitytorebuildhislife,tostand
backandletherbuildhersherownway.

“We’restillnew.”Therewasamoanatthestartofthatsentenceandagruntatend.Butitmade

sense.Theybeganbadly,mega-distrustandgetmeouttahereawkwardness,stuckdespitethecan’thave
whatIwantcomplexityofthat,andthenbrokeupbecausehe’dliedandshutherout,andnowtheywere
sharinganaddress.

“Notsonewwedon’tknowhowgoodthisis.”
Tootrue.EverythingaboutOwenmadeherlovehim,fromthecasualwayhedealtwithbeingborn

wealthyandhavingmadehisownmoneyasacherryontop,toSammywhohe’dgottenfromashelter
becauseheknewsheloveddogs,whenhewasiffyaboutthemwithgoodreason.

Andthentherewasthefacthe’dcometoacceptnewwaystofeeldesireinsteadofragingatthe

worldfortheinjuryhe’dcarried,andhe’dpracticedthemonher.Overandoverand—oh—oh—thatfelt
good.“I’mnotsayingno.”

Hechangedthesettingonthewandtoafastconsistentrev,herfavorite,andpusheditinsideheron

withasinglefirmthrust.“I’monlyinterestedinyes.”

Shemight’vesaidyesthen.Shespokeinaboutfifteenforeignlanguagesathearing-impairedvolume,

ashetookherapartwiththeangleofthewandthrusts,awell-placedthumbandhislipsbehindherear.
Shecamedowntohissofthuffoflaughter.“What?”

“Foralittlefreckledthing,yousurearenoisy.”
Sweatytoo.Smellingofthem.“Youloveit.”
Hetookhermouthsoallhernextnoiseswereswallowedupandshegrippedhimtightlysoheknew

notsayingyesdidn’tmeanno.

He’dalreadygottenalotofyes.Yestomovinginwithhim.Yestosharinghisdogandhishouse,his

bedandhislife.Andnotyetwasn’tno.Notyetwasnextweekinsteadoftoday.Itwasimminent,justnot
rightnow.ItwasapromiseandahopeandmarryingOwenwasthebestthingshewasevergoingtodo.
Ortheworst.

Whatiftheyultimatelywanteddifferentthings?Whatifthisgooeyinthecentergoodstuffgottoo

sweetandsickly?Whatifheliedagain?Ifhedidn’tkeepontopofhisaddiction.Thathappenedtothe
bestrelationships.Ithadalreadyhappenedtothemonce.

Butshe’dneverlovedhimmorethanwhenhe’daskedherforpermissiontofatherSarina’sbaby.

Thatwasn’taconversationshe’deverexpectedtohaveinherlife.Honey,doyoumindifIfatherakid
withmybusinesspartner?Itrankeduptherewiththeonewhereshe’dsaid,Ibadlywantyourrigidcock
inmyvirginvagina,andhe’dsaid,I’dfuckingloveto,butIcan’tgethard.

He’dexplainedwhatSarinawantedtodoandwhyandthenaskedifCarawascreepedoutbythe

idea,asifitwasanythingtodowithherwhenOwenhadknownSarinasincecollegeanditwasnosecret
helovedandrespectedherdearly.

Shewasn’tcreepedout,butshe’dhadasuddenfitofirrationaljealousythat’dmadeherwanttotake

scissorstosilkforthepleasureofhearingitshred,untilhe’dmadesuresheunderstoodthere’dbeno
actualliveinsertionofanyofhistenderlyworkingbodypartsintoanyofSarina’s.

Itwasallaboutthetesttube,baby.

Howcouldanyonesaynotoamanlikethat?
ShewouldmarryOwen,butnotyet.Shehadthingsshewantedtodofirstandnoneedtorushthis

chewy,gooeychocolate-boxwonderfulthingtheyhadtogethernow.

ShewasmorethanreadyforOwentorearrangeherlimbs,tocenterhisbodyoverhersandpress

himselfinsidewiththeweatherwarninginhiseyesthattoldhertobattendownagainstthestorm.She
wrappedherarmsaroundhisneckandherlegsaroundhishipsandwhenheeasedanarmunderherback
shewassuspendedovertherumpledbedclothes,archingagainsthisthrusts,herfacetuckedintohisneck.

Yes,yes,yes.Yes.
Bothofthemsayingit.Ping-pongingthewordbetweenthem.Owenshakingandrocking,pantingand

thendroppingthemtothebed,ramminghishipsforwardonelasttimeandtensingallover,mouth
droppedopenonasilentcry,beforeshudderingthroughhissweetrelease.

Theylayinatangled,steamyknotastheirbreathingeased.Sarinawaspregnant,butnottoOwenand

partofCarawasdisappointed.Shewasn’tsureabouthavingkids,didn’tfeelthatmaternalkickSarina
hadspokenof.Didn’tknowwhetherbeingamomwouldgiveherthesamekindofsatisfactionasOwen
gotfromPlus,asshegotfrombuildingherownbusinessstitchbystitch.

Shedaydreamedabouthercostumesonastage,notchangingnappiesandcleaningupsick.She

wantedtocreate,butsendherworkoutintotheworldtobecaredforbyothers,notberesponsiblefor
tendingtoaworldforbabiestogrowupin.Didthatmakeherselfish?Didmenfeelthatsametension
whentheyplannedtheircareers?DidOwen?

Sherakedherfingersthroughhisdamphair.“HowdoyoufeelaboutSarina’sbaby?”
“Bestpossibleoutcome,”hemurmuredagainstherneck,andthenherolledthemsotheywereside

byside,legsentwined,armsdrapedovereachother.Hewantedafamilyandtherewasnoreasonhe
couldn’thaveonenow.Butthatwasabigfreakingimposition.Hecouldplantthatseedandstandaround
whileitsprouted.Shehadtobethegardenbed,dothesproutingandbeforeverchangedbythat.

Shestoppedabeadofsweatonhischestwithherfinger.“DevandSarina,huh.”
“Thattookforevertogel.”
“Howcome?”
Hishandplayedoverherscar,histhumbrubbinggentlybackandforthacrossitsraisedsurface.

“Let’sneverbetoobusybeingfriendsweforgettobelovers.”

Impossibletoimagine.CarahadwantedOwenasaloverbeforeshe’dconsideredthevalueofhis

friendship.“Isthatwhathappenedwiththem?”

“Twopeoplewhoneverstoppedtalking,butsomehowneversaidthethingsthatmatteredtothem

most.”

“Epicfail.”Elephantintheroom.
“Almost.”
“Anyonecouldfumblethat.”Trippingwasagymnast’shazard.Noonetrippedandlivedtoscore

well.“WouldyoureallyhavebeenhappyifI’dsaidnotoyoubeingSarina’sdonor?”

Hestalledbycominginforakissthatsheletgolushanddeepbecausetheywerebothanxiousabout

hisanswer.Shehadn’thesitatedtosayyesatthetime,didn’tthinkshehadtheright,tosayno,especially
ifitturnedoutshedidn’twanttocarryhisbabyherself.

Whenhepulledback,hebroughthishandtoherfaceandcuppedhercheek,hisexpressionsolemn.

“No.”

Honestwasbest.Ripthetapeoff.“CanyoubehappyifIdon’twantkids?”They’dpromisedeach

otherhonestafterwhathappenedinVegasandshedidn’twanttotripoverthatelephantandfaceplantthe
truth.

Hesighed.“That’swhyyou’renotsayingyes.”
Honestwashard.Toohardforactualwords.Shenodded,themovementturningintoacatlikerollof

herheadagainsthispalm.Thatwasthedowndeep,blackheartofit.Justbecauseshecoulddidn’tmean
shewantedto,evenifthatputheratoddswithaworldthatgenerallythoughtthat’swhatbeingawoman
wasabout.

“Isee,”hesaidsoftly,likehehadn’tmeanttosayanythingatall.
Itwasn’tnews.They’dhadthisdiscussion,butbackwhenOwencouldn’tgethardanditwasn’ta

possibilityforthem,backwhenhemighthavethoughtshewasonlysayingshedidn’tthinkabouthaving
kidstomakethingseasybetweenthem.Shehadsaidittoplacatehimthen,becausethefacthecouldn’t
fatherakidwithoutsomewhizz-bangmedicalintervention,meantshedidn’thavetobetheonewhosaid
notoafamily.Sincethen,he’drecovered,beenseducedtothebaby-makerdarksidebywatchingher
withGavin’skids,bywhateverDadhadsaidtohim,andSarina’splan,andshe’dbeenfumbling,tripping,
losinghergrip.

Shehadtobiteherliptostopherselfbacktracking,sayingsomethingtosoftenhernod,becausethe

disappointmentinhimhadaweightthatsettledoverthemlikeatooheavyblanketonastickyhotsummer
nightwhenyouknewitwouldbehardtosleep.

“It’sokay,darlin’.”
Butitwasn’t.Itwasenoughofanissuetowipeoutalltheaccumulatedpointsscoredbetweenthem,

andtheheatglowinherchestwasaheat-beadofanger.Whydidshehavetofeelthisway?Differentto
otherwomen.Selfish.Notlivinguptoherpotentialasabreeder.Unlessitwassomesuperscrewed-up
conspiracywherenoonewithawombwasbraveenoughtoshoutIdon’twantkids.Whydidshehaveto
trashherownhappiness?

“It’sthatit’sabigdealbeingamotherandIdon’tknowifIwanttodoit.”
“Isitbecauseyoudon’tthinkyou’dbeagoodmom?”Hesmoothedahandoverherforeheadasifhe

wastryingtoclearawaytoseeinsideherhead.

OwenhadbarelyseenhismomgrowingupandCara’smemoriesofherownwerestunted,butshe

hadmoreexamplesofmotherhoodinactionfromheryearsbilletingwithhostfamiliesthanmostpeople
hadtoes.Itwasn’taboutthat.

“IfIwantit,I’llgoafterit.I’mnotscaredofit.I’mnotscaredofanythingIcanlearn.”Shewasno

lesscapablethanthenextwoman.That’snotwhatitwasabout.

Hesmiledandsheputherfingertipstohismouth.“Butit’sthisverydefiniteforkintheroad.”He

tookherhandawayasthesmilelefthiseyes.“It’slarge,solargeandacommitmentforlife,andkidsare
awful.Youdon’tknowhowawfultheycanbe,becausethey’relearningandtestingandbecomingpeople,
andasaparentyou’resupposedtoputthemfirstandorganizearoundthemandlovedoingthatmostofthe
time.Idon’tknowhowpeoplemakethedecisiontohavekids,butIknowformeit’sthisbigpitofnope
rightnow.”

“Rightnow.”
Rightnowcouldturnintoforever.“WhatifIdon’teverfeeldifferently?”
“I’dbedisappointed.”
Honestwasalandingonyourheadafteratripletwistandwonderingifyourlungswilleverwork

again,rightbeforeyoublackout.

Theybothmoved.Foreheadscomingtogether,handssearchingandfindingtheirmates,fingers

locking.“IhatethatIfeelthisway,”hervoiceshook.“Thatitmightmean—”

“Itdoesn’t.”
Howcoulditnot?“Iloveyou.”Butmaybenotenoughtogivehimbabies.Hecouldn’tstillwanther

yes,whenyesmeantthepossibilityitwasnotohisownfamily.

“Wedon’tneedtodoallthisnow.”
Thethoughtofdoingitanytime,whentheyweren’tinbed,whentheyweren’twrappedsotightin

eachothertherewasnodesireforseparationmadehereyesgowatery.

“Youcan’tbetthehouseI’llchangemymindwhenI’mSarina’sage.”Shewouldn’tlethimkeep

lovingherifitmeanthemissedoutonfamily,butlettinghimgowas...was...

“Don’tcry,Starburst.It’snotthatbad.”
“I’mnot.Itis.”Sowasonbothcounts.Hemadehergetlikethiswhenheorgasmedhertodeath,asif

heroutershelldissolvedandallherfreakyinnerfearstweakedalloverherskin.“It’syourfault.”

“Myfault?”
“YoumakemewantthingssobadlyandIwantthemforyou.”
“IhaveeverythingIneed,andrightnowIdon’twantanythingmorethaneighthoursofuninterrupted

sleepwithyoubymyside.”

Needlestick.Youcouldjustslaphim.“Whatif—”
Hegroaned,grabbedandrolledhersoshewasproppedonhischest.“We’llworkitout.”
“Whatif—”
Heslappedahanddownonherass.“Christalmighty.Howdoyouhaveanyenergytoargue?”
Thatstungandknockedagaspoutofher.Oh,hewouldpayforthat.Sheusedwhatlittleenergyshe

hadtorockherhips,togoforhismouth,tostraddlehim,tokisshimlikeshebelievedshecouldchange
hermind;thattheywouldworkitout.

Becauseshelovedhimandshesimplyhadtobelievethatwouldbeenough.

THREE

Dev

Theyhadtotellpeople.Andbypeople,Devmeantfamily.HisandSarina’s.OnlyReidandOwen,andby
extensionZarleyandCara,knewaboutthem.ItwasthemostdelicioussecretandDevwasreluctantto
breakoutofthebubbleyet.Ithadonlybeentwodayssincehe’dknownhewasgoingtobeafather,two
dayssinceSarinaproposed.Twodayssincehe’dhadhisasskickedbythelifehewantedbutwastoo
muchofadamnfooltounderstandwashisforthetaking.

Hewastaking.Withgreatgreedyhandfuls.He’dfightforthemnow.Becomesomekindoflove

warrior,anavengerofeverythingcasuallycarelesshe’dbeenbefore.

Butbeforeallthechestbeating,machostuff,therewasallthesex.
WithSarina.
Whohadskinthathecouldnotgetenoughoftouching.Whohadanewwayoflookingathim,asif

she’dfoundtheplaceshecouldrest.

Notthatthey’ddonemuchresting.
Thesex.Holyshit,aguycouldonlydieandberebornsomanytimes.
They’dhadeachotherinthisnewrelationshipfortwodays,andthey’dbothhadtoworkandSarina

hadmorningsicknessbutthey’dstillmanagedtomakeeachotherhotandbotheredwithhandsandlips;to
fallintobedandcauseearthquakesinfar-offplacesbecausetheywerethatfuckinggreattogether.

Buttwodayswasn’tquiteenoughtimefortheshocktowearoff.Theybothworewhatjusthappened

expressions.Hekeptwantingtolaughatinappropriatemoments,andinherarmsthatfirstnighttogether
whiletheymadeslow,haltinglytenderlove,he’dwept.

Hemight’vefuckedthisup.Hislife,hers,theirs.Gotsoclosetomisinterpretingeverything,taking

whatwasmostprecioustohimforgrantedandignoringallthesystemalarms.He’dalmostlethergointo
anotherman’sbed,haveababyonherown.

She’dcomewithabreathysongandhefollowedher,histearsrainingdownonherchestandneck.

Hesobbedforthenearmissofatragedy,fortheluckthatputherinhisarms,puthischildinherbelly.

Theinappropriatelaughterwasbetterforhisego,butthetearshadwonhimkisseslikehe’dnever

experiencedbefore.Theyweretruthandtrustandforgivenessandjoy,andwitheachtongueflick,lip
suck,therewasatasteofthefuture.

He’dfightforthat.He’dbeundefeated.
ButafterhewatchedSarinavomitupsaltycrackers.
Shesatbackonherheelsonthebathroomtilesandheheldoutaglassofwater,notsureifitwasa

goodidea.“Doyouwanttogetup?”

Shestillhadagriponthetoiletbowl.“Iwanttodie.”
“Right,well,maybetrystanding.”
“Wecan’tbothbelateforwork.”
Helaughed,alittleuntimely,giventhewholeshewantedtodiething.“Noonecaresifwe’relate.”
Shetookthewaterbutlookedatitasifitwasouttogether.“Iwasn’treadyforthis.”
Hewas.Hesatonthefloorbesideher.Shewaspaleandsweatingandherhairwasamess,blue

piecesstucktoherneck.“Lemonsorbet.Wehavesome.Anawasabletokeepitdown.Wanttotry?”

Shescrewedupherfaceandclutchedherthroat.“Ohhh,notdairy.”
“Noticecream,flavoredwaterwithsugar.It’sgood.”

“I’msoqueasy.”Shelookedmiserable,slumpedonthefloor,clutchingattheporcelainasifitwould

protecther.

Hethoughtshewasbeautiful.“Orwecouldsitheretillyoufeelbetter.”
“Youhavetogotowork.I’mneverfeelingbetter.WhydidIthinkbeingpregnantwasagoodidea?”
Hecontainedhislaughter,butnothismirth.“I’mnotgoinganywherewithoutyou.”
“Yougotmesorbet?”
He’dgetheranycombinationofweirdfoodshewanted.He’dfeedherpregnancywithattentionto

allthenutrientssheandthebaby—hisbaby—theirbaby,needed.Hewasfeelingallhangthemoon,pull
downthestarsforherandhedidn’tthinkhe’deverstop.

“Ithinkit’ssafetogetyououtofhere.”Shelethimhelpherup,straightenherclothingandsmooth

herhair,washherfaceandneckwithawarmwetcloth.Helikedthathewasallowedtheseintimate
toucheshewould’vethoughttwiceaboutbeforebecausethey’dcrossedalinethat’dneverneededto
exist.Nowheruntidyhair,herclammyskinandoddlybuttonedshirtwerethingshecouldattendto;was
privilegedto.

“God,Dev.”Shegrabbedforhishand,eyeswidewiththatshockedWTFlookagain.“We’rehaving

ababy.”

He’dhavekissedthatshockintotranquilityifshedidn’tfeelbarfy,ifshehadn’tjustupchucked,if

theyweren’tstandingbytheunflushedtoilet.“Youwanttoothpaste?”

Thatwasadecisiontoofarforher,buthewentaheadandsqueezedsomeonhertoothbrushandthen

flushedandstoodbackwhileshebrushed,rinsed,gargled.

Shelookedathiminthemirror.“Youdon’thavetosuperviseme.I’vegotthis.”ColgateFreshMint

Stripehadgivenherbackherequilibrium.

“Ishouldbehereifyou’regoingtokickthebucket.”
Shespatmouthwash.“Vulture.”
“Anythingforyou.”
Eyesuptohim,andtheexpressioninthemnearlyputhimonthetilesagain.Lovewasthepersonyou

admiredmostintheworldtakingyourkneesoutwithagratefullook.

“We’rereallygoingtobetogetherwhenit’sallpukeandmegettingwhale-sized.”
Hesteppedforwardandthreadedhishandsaroundhermiddle,spreadthemoverherflatstomach,

methereyesinthemirror.“ThereisnothingIwantmore.”

“Wealreadymissedallthefuntimes.”
Hekissedherneck.“It’llbewayfunwatchingyouwaddle.”
Shetippedherheadbacktorestonhisshoulders.“Iloveyou.”Muchbetterneckaccesswhichhe

madeuseof,untilshesaid,“Areyougoingtotellyourfamilyorisityourintentiontoliveaduallife?”

Colgatehadsharpenedhertongue.Must’vebeenthecoolmint.“Areyougoingtoagreetoawedding

date?”

Shesmiled.Thefirstoneoftheday.Thatgotherturnedandmorethoroughlykissed:forehead,cheek,

lips.“Wehaven’tmissedthefunpart.It’swaitingforus.”He’dhavelingeredbutherstomachgurgled,so
heledhertothekitchensatheratthecounterandfedherlemonsorbetshekeptdown.

“Whatkindofaweddingwoulditbe?”shesaid,takingthespoonfromhim.
“Fast.Idon’twanttowait.”Toomuchwaitinginthisrelationship.
“Weddingstakeorganizing.”
“Iwantalegaljoining,notafour-dayextravaganza.”
“Becauseyou’reembarrassedabout—”
“No,because—”
“It’stheIndianthing.”
“Sarina.”

“Ididn’tthinkaboutthat,that’slikeabigdeal.”
“No,I’mnotembarrassedaboutyoubeingpre-whale,andit’snottheIndianthing.Ialmostlostyou

andIdon’twanttowasteaminutemorenotbeingwithyou.”

“Oh.”Sheflushedandlaughedatherself.“Okay.Butifyouwantedabigweddingwecouldwaittill

thebabyis—”

“No.”
“Butif—”
“No.”
“We’venevertalkedabout—”
Hegrinned,thiswastheirfirstargumentasapropercouple.“We’retalkingaboutitnow.IfIcould

marryyouthisweekend,I’ddoit.”

Shegrinnedback.“Okay.Civilorreligious?YouknowI’mnotreligious,butI—”
“Idon’tcarewhomarriesusaslongaswedoitasifwe’reonfire.”
Shelickedthebackofthespoonandblinked.Hefeltthat;throat,chest,dick.“Areyoustillfeeling

sick?”

“Notsomuch.”
“Areyoutryingtostartsomething?”
“Whome?”
“LickthespoonlikethatagainandI’llshowyouwhereelseyoucanputyourtongue.”
Shelookedatthespoon.Lookedathim.He’dshockedhimselfwiththatline.Hedidn’tevenhavea

petnameforheryetandthatwasclosetodirtytalk.

“We’relateforwork.”Shedidn’tquitepulloffinnocent.God,didshelikedirtytalk?Heknewher

sowell,exceptwhereitnowcounted.

“We’rehavingadiscussion,”hesaid.Ormaybetheywereabouttohavesex.
Shesnorted.Sonotothesex.“DoyourealizeI’veneverthoughtabouthavingawedding?”She

scrapedthebowlforthelastofthesorbet.He’dhavetopickupabiggertub.“Whatkindofawomanam
I?Areyousureyouwanttobewithawomanwhohasneverimaginedherownweddingday?”

Hetookthebowlandspoonfromherandrinsedthem.“You’regoingtoneedabetterexcusethan

that.”

“Whatdidyouimagineforyours?”
Hefrowned.LikeSarinahe’dneversparedhisownweddinganygraymatter.“IneverimaginedI’d

gettohaveitwithyou.”

“DevPatel,chiefsuck-up.I’mnottakingyourname.”
Hedriedthebowlandspoonandputthemaway.“Youdidn’tthinkIwasasuck-upwhenIputthat

sorbetinfrontofyou.Neveroccurredtomeyouwouldchangeyourname.”

“DoesGalloPatelworkforthebaby?”
Holymother,he’dgettonamehiskid.“PatelGallo?”Hedidn’tcarewhatordertheirnamescamein.
Sheclosedhereyesandscrunchedherface.“Areyouweddedtothat?”
“Onlytoyou.”
Therebeganthislong,nottheleastbituncomfortableperiodoftimewhichmight’vebeenweeks,

wheretheysimplylookedateachotherandagorgeousflushbuiltonhercheeks.

“Youcan’tlookatmelikethatatwork,Dev.”
“HowamIlookingatyou?”
“Likeyou’reseeingmenaked.”
ThatmightbeNSFW,butitwashardtocare.“Ineedtodothatawholelotmore.”
“Backatyou.”
Didtheyreallyneedtoleavethehousetoday?Pluswouldn’tfalldownwithoutthem.

“Soyou’renotgoingtorideinonanelephantandI’mnotgoingtowearasariandhennamyhands.”
“You’dlookamazinginasari.”He’dliketoseeherinasariandthentakethedamnthingoffher.
“ButI’dfeelstrange.I’mgoingtofeelstrangeanyway.I’mgettingmarried.”Shetuggedathershirt.

Shedidn’tlookpregnantbuttherewerechangesinherbody,thewayshemoved;shewassofteroverall
somehow.“Weshouldmakethisagiantparty,notsomeadministrativethingoraformalaffair.”

“Youknowwecouldhaveafrienddeputizedforthedaytomarryus.”He’dbeentoawedding

wherethebride’sstepfatherwasthedeputizedforthedaycelebrant.

“Ohplease,notReid.”Shecamearoundthecountertohim.
“Hecouldn’tbetrustedwiththescript.I’dendupmarriedtoalamporawallorsomething.”They

bothlaughed,imaginingReidastheircelebrant.“Owencoulddoit.Ormaybesomeonefromyour
family.”

Shewalkedintohisopenarms.“Oryours.”
“Wemightbebetteroffwithapro.Weneedalicenseandavenue.Weneedaguestlist.Weneedto

feedthem.”

Fingersslidingunderthehemofhispolo,shesaid,“Areyouokayifwedon’tmakethisahuge

thing?”andforamomentheforgottheyweretalkingaboutthewedding.“Ineedsomethingtowear.Could
weelopeinstead?”

“Ifthat’swhatyouwant.”Thehugethingwasthisnewfreedomtotouchandlookandspeakabout

everythingwitheachotherwithoutcensoringthemostintimatecontent.

Herhandstilled.“You’ddothat?Yourfamilywouldhateyouforit.”
Henodded.HisfamilywasstillfracturedfromAna’sshockpregnancy.Tellingthemthisnewswas

goingtobe...interesting.“Yourswouldgetoverit,butI’dneverlivetheribbingdown.”

“We’redoingthisthen,awedding.Holycrap,Dev,you’llbemyhusband.”
“Can’tbeworsethanbeingnauseous.”
Shedroppedherforeheadtohischest.“It’smakingmefeellight-headed.Ithadbetterbeanafternoon

thing.”

“Itoldmymomaboutbeinginlovewithyou.”
“When?”mumbledintohisshirt.
“WhenIthoughtyou’dhadthesecondinsemination.”Somanynewplaceshecouldputhishands

whentheystoodlikethis;hedidn’thavetosticktosociallyacceptableshoulders,hecouldstretchhis
handsoverherbutt.“Whenithadallgonebadbetweenus.”

“Onedaywemightlaughaboutthat.”
Hekissedthetopofherhead.“See,toldyouwehadn’tmissedallthefunparts.”
Shestraightenedupandhungherarmsaroundhisneck.“Soawedding,huh.”
Hebackedherupagainstthecounterandkissedhisanswerintoherneckandjaw.Madesureshefelt

himinhercheekbonesandtemples,andallalongherhairline.Hewentslowlyandsheseemedtolikeit,
pressingherbodyintohis,onehandcurledoverthewaistbandofhispantsandtheotherplayinginhis
hair,sobythetimehemadeittoherlipsshewasalittledesperate.

Theywerelatetowork.
Christophergavethemtheevileye.
Devhadmissedameeting,becausehe’dignoredhiscellbecausehiswife-to-bewashuggingthe

toiletbowl,andbecausemakingoutwithherpost-sorbetwastoogoodtoquit.Ordinarily,he’dhavefelt
badaboutthat;unprofessional,discourteous,flat-outpoormanagement.Heapologizedandrescheduled
andforgotaboutit.He’dprobablymissafewmoremeetingsthatwaybecauseSarinawasn’tdoing
morningsicknessorsorbetalone.

Hewouldn’tseeheralldayandthatwasn’tunusualbutitmadehimanxious.Madehimthinkabout

thelasttwonightsinherbed,howtenderthey’dbeenthatfirstnight,howwornoutfromthestressofthe

dayshewas.She’donlyrealizedshewaspregnant.Shehadtotalkhimoutofresigningandtellhimshe’d
screwedupandlethimknockherupatthesametime.

He’dneverhaveputherthroughthestressofthatifhehadn’tbeenabonehead,convincedshewas

pregnanttoherdonorandtwo-timinghimwiththecheeseman.Whataninsanemuddle.Butinherbedthat
night,allthemadnessburnedoffontheirskin.She’dbeenexhausted,fallingasleepoverhermealand
he’dbeenreticenttodomorethanholdher,touchherskin,kissherbreathless.Theyhadtime,allthetime
theyneedednowtocometogether.Butitdidn’tgothatway;gentleslippedintourgent,urgentcollided
withburnthehousedownbystartingablazeinthebed.

Andlastnight,whensheassuredhimshefeltfine,theyskippedaffectionate,scornedurgentandwent

straighttowildmonkeysex,andtheintensityofitallhadmadethosetearsfillhiseyes.He’dnevercried
duringsexbeforeandwhilehedidn’twanttomakeahabitofit,tofeelwhathe’dexperiencedinthat
momentofbeingwithher,knowingthey’dbetogetherforlife;hedidn’tregretit.

Hedidregretelopingwasn’tanoptionhisfamilywouldforgive.
HeshouldcallAnaatleastandletherknowwhyhehadn’tbeenbackhome,excepttopickup

clothes.WhatwashegoingtodoaboutAnaandherbaby?Leaveherinhisapartment,alone?No,that
wouldn’twork.He’dpromisedtobethereforherandeventhoughConnorhadsteppedup,andMomand
Raniwereontheteam,Anawasgoingtoneedhelp.HeshouldbuyabighousefortheGalloPatelsand
AnacouldhaveherownPatelGallowing.Wouldthatwork?Sharenanniesandhouseholdhelp.There
wasalottothinkabout.Gitawasrepairedbutstillgaragedandthenondescripthirecarhewasdriving
aroundwascrampinghisstyle.HealsohadtodosomethingaboutSarina’sjunkheapofacar.Declareit
scrapandhaveittowedwasthemasterplan.

Andontopofthathehadtoorganizeawedding.
Nowonderhewashavingtroubleconcentrating.
Somuchso,hejumpedwhenReidappearedinhislab.“Wherewereyouthismorning?”
Hesmiled.“Late.”
Reidgavehimhisthatrequiresfurtherexplanation,youdickheadlook.
“Fuckoff.”
Reidlaughed.“Okaythen.”Heturnedachairaroundandsatonitbackwards.“You’regoingtobea

dad.”Heshookhisheadasifthatdidn’tcompute.Devknewthefeeling.“Sarinaiswell?Sayssheis.But
whatdoIknowaboutpregnantwomen?”

ReidhadhelpedSarinachooseherspermdonor,butlikeDevhe’dbalkedatbecomingonebecause

theideaterrifiedhim.“Shehasmorningsickness,and—”

“Yeah,Iprobablydon’twanttoknow.”
“Goodplan.Avoiditwhileyoucan.”
Reidgaveanexaggeratedshudder.“Word.”
“Ineedtoplanawedding.”Hegoogledthatandupcamethemotherofallrabbitholes.
“Ineedatleasttenmorepointsonthestockpriceandfortheboardtosanctionthespendonthe

transformationprogram.”

Didheneedaweddingplanner?“Andyourpoint?”
“WhatwouldIknowaboutweddings?”
“Evenyou’vebeentooneortwo.”Devhadbeentoadozenatleast;includinglavishIndian

weddings,aGreekweddingthatsateighthundredfordinner,andmoreintimatechurchandbeachaffairs.

“I’veflowninajet.Doesn’tmeanIcanpilotone.”
“Smarterthanyoulook.”Surfingweddingsiteswasscaringhim.Weddingswereabeastthat

requiredmass-scaletamingandmonthsofprep.Holyshit,thepriceofthoseuglydresses.Andheneeded
rings,somethingcoolandfunkyforherandsomethingeasywearforhim.

“Howhardcanitbe?It’saparty.Foodanddrink,familyandfriends,abunchofvows.”TrustReid

tocutthefantasydowntosize.“JesusChrist,you’renotgoingtodothewholeBollywoodthingareyou?”

Deveye-rolled.“Noelephantsandnodancing.Atleastnotthatkindofdancing.”Hedidn’thavethe

patienceforaweddingthatneededaprojectplan.“Ineedalicense,acelebrant,aplacetoputeveryone.
Idon’twantfancy,Iwantfast.”

“Shotgunwedding,beforeshegetsbig.”
“Beforeshechangeshermind.”Hepalmedhisface.Isthatwhathewasdoing,rushingthings?That

wasridiculous.Itwasjustaceremonywiththeimportantlegalpartattached.Theycouldwait.They
couldplanthisproperlyinsteadofdroppingitontheirfamilieslikeawholeseasonofadramayou
weren’tsureyouwantedtowatchbutknewyou’dbingeanyway.

Reidrockedhischairontothebacklegs.“Lucky’s.”
Helookedupfromhisscreen.“Zarley’splace.Ididn’tthinkitwasopenyet.”
“It’snot.Butshewantstohaveatrialopeningbeforetheofficialonetomakesureallthebugsare

ironedout.”

“Whatareyouthinking?”Ifavenuefellinyourlap,wasn’tthatsomekindofasign?Notthathe

believedinsigns,buthecouldmakeanexceptionthistime.

“Thathertrialopeningisyourwedding.”
He’dseentheinteriordesigner’svideoplanforLucky’s.Itwasthirtiesglammeetseleganthigh-tech.

AndOwenhaddoneawalkthroughbecauseCara’sdesignstudiowasupstairsinthesamebuilding,and
ravedaboutit.Itcouldwork.Itwasavailableandcentral.Itwouldbeprivate;aspacetheycouldcontrol,
unlikearestaurantorapark.Itwouldbelikeapackagedealelopement.“I’llpaywhateverfeeZarley
needs.”

Reidtiltedthechairfurtheranditcreaked.“Weddingpresent.Savesmeshopping.”
“Youuseaservice,jerkoff.It’sWednesday.DoyouthinkIcouldbemarriedonSunday?”Noway

thatcouldhappen,evenadecentpartyneededmorethanfourdays’advancenotice.Butthiswasclose
friendsandfamily,howhardcoulditbe?

Reidshrugged.“Can’tseewhynot.”Hestoodtoleave.“I’llgocheckwithZarley,butunlessyou

hearotherwise,assumeit’salock.”

MarriedbySunday.Helikedthesoundofthat.Nofuss,overanddonewith.Nomorewastedtime.

HelikedtheideaofwakingMondaymorningandholdinghiswife’shairwhilesheyacked,beforehetook
herbacktobedandhandfedherstrawberrysorbet.He’dtaketherestoftheweekoff,convinceSarinato
aswell.Theyneededahotel,ahoneymoonbreak,twonewcarsandoneplacetolive.

ReidhadlefttheroomsoDevshouted,“Hey,Ineedabestman.”
Reidcameback.“Yeah?”
“Well,youknow,Owenisbetterlookingthanme.”
“Don’twannagetshownupatyourownwedding.Icanappreciatethat.”
Theygrinnedateachotherforanembarrassinglylongtime,thenReidsaid,“Zarleyeveragreesto

fuckingmarryme,I’llreturnthefavor.Idon’twantfuckingglamourboyshowingmeupeither.”

AndGodonanelephant,hewasgettingmarriedonSunday.

FOUR

Zarley

Hesaid,“Heya,Flygirl,”andZarleynearlydeletedthewholeliquorordershe’dbeeninputtingwitha
misplacedkeystrokebecauseReidwasinherLucky’sofficeinthemiddleoftheworkdaylooking
outrageouslysexyfornogoodreason.

Thishadtobebad.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”Likedidhecrashhiscareeragainbadbecauseit

wasthemiddleofthedayandhe’dbeenbannedfromvisitinguntilshewasreadytoopen.Buthedidn’t
looktense,didn’tbringfire-breathingdragonsintotheroomwithhim,thetemperaturedidn’tchange,the
sunwasstillout.

HestoodinthedoorwayofherbrandnewofficewithVi,wearinghisleatherjacket,bikehelmet

hangingfromonehand,hairmussed,weightononelongblackdenim-cladlegthatendedinabikerboot,
andacrookedsmirkthatalwaysmadeherpulsecartwheel.

Andthetemperaturedidchangeafterall,itchangedrightupanddownherbody.Thispullbetween

themsoreal,itwasstrangetoherthatitwasn’tvisible.Fineelectricstringswithenoughlengthtoenable
themtowalkaroundwithouttheotherbutalwaysbringingthemback,alwayswiththiseffortlessheated
connection.

“Toldhimtokeephisnoseout,”saidVi.SheslappedthebackofherhandonReid’sarm.“Gotwax

inhisears.”

Hegaveanindignantgrunt.“Yousaid,‘hellohandsome.Zarley’sinheroffice.’”Hepointedtohis

ear.“Perfecthearing.”

“Ialsosaidshe’sbusy,BackBooth,andyou’renotsupposedtobehere,butdidyoulisten?”
ReidopenedhismouthtoanswerbutVigotinfirst.“No,youdidnot.Typicalman.”
Thetwoofthemglaredateachother,neitherwillingtobethefirsttocrackasmile.IfZarleyhadto

placeabet,itwouldbeevenodds.ItwasalmostimpossibletostareReiddown,butinherhostessdays,
Vihadfacedeverysizeandscaleofdrunkfromdumbasabricktomeananddangerousandneverlosta
fight.Butthiscouldgoonalldayandshehadaliquorordertoplace.“Getaroom,youtwo.”

Vibroke.SlappingReidforasecondtimeandlaughing.“Idon’tknowhowyoulivewithhim,

Zarley.”

“Iwasyourfavoritedrunk,Vi,”saidReid.
“Youweren’ttheworst,cryinginyourbeer.”
Vihadthatright.“Zarleycuredmeofthat.”
“IfI’dbeentwentyyearsyoungerwhenyoustartedcominghere,I’dhavetakenacrackatcuringyou

myself,givenZarleyarunforhermoney.”

“Ifyouweretwentyyearsyounger,I’dbeterrifiedofyou,”hesaid.
Viflashedhimasmile.She’dhavetossedherhairtoo,ifitwasn’tsostylishlycut.“He’sallyours,

Zarleyhon.I’mofftothebank,I’llseeyoutomorrow.”

TheybothwatchedVileave.Threeyearsagoshe’dhadlinedskin,stainedteeth,unevenhaircolor,

cheapclothes,familywoe,andlimitedprospects.AndthenLoudiedandleftherhisconsiderable
propertyportfolioincludingthebuildingLucky’swasin,andVi’swholelifechanged.Zarleychangedit
againbybecomingherpartnertoopenthenewnightclub,whichneededaliquororderifitwasevergoing
toopenintime.

“Shehasitbadforme,”Reidsaid.

“Shescaresyoushitless.”
“ProvesI’mnotstupid.”
Nothingstupidaboutherman;offensive,insulting,abrasive,apainintheass,butinhisindustryhe

wasconsideredavisionary.“Youdostillhaveajob,yes?Showinguphereinthemiddleofthedayis
makingmewonderwhatnotgoodthingyou’vedone.”

Heslappedhishandoverhisheart.“Suchlittlefaith.”
Itwasn’treligionheinspired.Theliquorordercouldwait.Shehadhimunexpectedlyinheroffice

whenshewasdressedtokill.She’dbeensobusy,they’dseenverylittleofeachotheroflate,andshe
wasusuallyinsweatsbythetimehegothome.Heworkedevenlongerhoursthanshedid.Shecoulduse
this.Shepushedherchairbackfromthedeskatanangleandthenproppedherfeetontheedge,crossing
herankles.

Aswastheplan,hiseyeswentstraighttoherlegs,andthenflaredwhentheskirtofherwrapdress

gaveintogravityandslidoffherthighs.Shedidn’tadjustit.

“Doyouliketheshoes?”Theywerenew,stiltheel,hotpink,tooffsetherblackdress.
“Fucktheshoes.”
Tinglesallupanddownherspinebecausetherewasthatcrunchandgravelhisvoicegotwhenhe

wantedher,andtheheatinhiseyessethertemperaturetoshiver.Heshruggedoffhisjacketanddumped
thehelmet,tookthechairinfrontofherdeskandsat.

“Sodidyoudosomethingnaughtytoday,Reid?”
“Notyet.”
Oh,thatpromisemadeherbodygotight.Butsoonwouldbegood.Carawouldbebackshortly,and

laterthere’dbearoomfullofwomenlearningtopoledanceinthestudioacrossfromthem.He’dbeafox
inahenhouse,butforthehalfhourtheyhadtheplacetothemselvesandhewasherfoxtochasedownand
petasshepleased.“Doesn’ttellmewhatyou’redoinghere.”

“Can’tamancomeseehisgirlinthemiddleofthedayfornoreason?”
“You’renotamanwhodoesthingswithoutreason.”
“Fellforyouunreasonably.”
Heverymuchdid,andwhenshe’dgottenoverthefreak-outvalueofthat,itwasthebestthingthat

hadeverhappenedtoher.“Whatdoyouwant?”Apartfromsomethingnaughty,andthatwasa
consequence,notthereasonhewashere,becausethey’dhadsexthismorningbeforeheleftforwork,so
itwasn’tlikeeitherofthemwerestarvedforit.

“DevandSarinaaregoingtogetmarriedandIknowwhatIwanttogivethem.”
Hecould’vephonedthatin.“Whatareyouupto?”
“Devwantstodoitquicklysotheyneedaplace.IofferedhimLucky’s.”
Shetookherlegsoffthedeskandpulledherchairaround.“Withouttalkingtomefirst.”Hewas

unbelievable.

“I’mtalkingtoyounow.”
Hewasdoingasnowjobonher,tryingtobullyher.“Butyoualreadytoldhimhecouldhavea

weddinghere.”

“Toldhimifitwasaproblem,I’dlethimknow.”
“It’saproblem.”Andnothers.
Hemadeacomeon,tellmemoregestureandshebitdownontheurgetoshoutathim.
“Weddingsareheldinchurchesorfunctioncenters,ahotel,apark,abeach.Aregistryoffice.

Somewhereromanticor,attheveryleast,traditional.Youdon’tgetmarriedinanightclubthatfeatures
poledancers.”

“Youneedacrowdforasoftopening.”
“AndIhaveaninvitationlistforthat.”Shestood,satisfiedshehadn’tturnedthisintoashouting

matchwithprovocation.“IcangiveyouabunchofrecommendationsforDev,buthecan’thavea
weddinghere,andyouhadnorighttosuggestitwithoutspeakingwithmefirst.”

“Fuckit,Zarley.”Hepushedahandthroughhishairandlookedupather.“Aweddingisthepeople

youlove,foodanddrinkandsomethingtomakeitofficial.Helpstohavearoofoverit,butDevwilldoit
onastreetcornerratherthanwait.Hedoesn’twanttowasteanymoretimenotbeingwithSarina,andI
wantedtohelp.”

“Isthisaboutthebaby?”
Heshookhishead.“It’saboutbeinginlove.I’dmarryyoustrippednaked,onmykneeswithaknife

atmyheart,inagoddamndarkfuckingalleyatthreeinthemorning,withdrunksandcrackaddictsfor
witnessesifthat’sallyouofferedme.”

Shedroppedbackintoherchair,angerdissolvedlikesugaronhertongue.Reidcouldbean

obstinate,crash-tacklingdickhead,butshelovedhim,andwhenhesaidthingslikethatshehatedherself
forholdingoutonhim.“You’reahumanwreckingball.”

Shedidn’tneedaneventtomakethemrealandshedidn’tunderstandhisobsessionwithhavingone.

Paperpromisesdidn’tstopmarriagesfromgoingbadandbustingup.Weddingswerefantasiesandshe
preferredlifetofeelreal.Andtheywerealreadymarriedineverywaythatcountedasfarasshewas
concerned.

“LetmehelpfindsomewherebetterforDev.”Shecouldringaroundsomevenues,tapsomecontacts

andseewhatshecouldshakeout;maybeacancellationwouldfallintheirlapsbeforeSarinawastoo
heavilypregnanttowanttodealwithit.

“WherethehellisgoingtobebetterbySunday?”
“Sunday.Asintomorrow,Friday,Saturday,Sunday?”Sheshookherhead.“That’simpossible.”
“DevandSarinaspentadozenyears,fumblingaround,notgettingitright.They’dgivenuponeach

other.That’simpossible.”

“EvenifIwantedto,we’renotreadytoopen.”
“Ican’tbegintounderstandwhatthatwouldbelikeforeitherofthemtobesocloseandsofar,and

toalmostfuckitupentirelybecausetheydidn’tgetthewordstheysaidtoeachotherright,theydidn’t
listenwellenough.It’sfuckinginfuriating.”

Oh,thisman.Hehadsecond-handsocialskills,buthewassharpaboutreadingpeopleoncehe’d

cluedintothem,andbehindtheroughandawkward,hewasallintuitionandheart.

“Idon’tcareifyoudon’tmarryme,Zarley.Iknowyoulovemeforallmyfailings.Iwanteditfor

insurance.Itmakesiteasierlegally,sure,butIwanteditbecauseI’mafraidI’llgetthewordswrong.You
knowthat’swhatI’mlike.We’vebeenthere.We’retherenow.”

Hebrokeeyecontact,casthiseyesdownandshestoppedbreathing.Heneverdidthat.
“I’llsaythewrongthingorI’llnotsaywhatneedstobesaid,orI’llsaytoomuchortoolittle,orsay

ittoolate,orIwon’thearwhatyou’resaying,andI’llhavenowayofholdingontoyou.I’mabetterme
whenI’mwithyou.IwouldlosemyselfifIlostyou.Idon’twantDevandSarinatohavetowaitanother
daytogettheirinsurance,sotheyhavethebestchancenottofuckitupagain.”

Shestood,abruptly,thechairshootingoutbehindherandbouncingintothewall.Reidlookedup,

wary,andnothingseparatedthem,notthedesk,notthegearonit,nottheirverydifferentwaysoflooking
attheworld,nothisimpossiblerequestorhercontainedannoyance.

“Ihaven’tmadeallthehiresororderedallthestock.Thebarisn’tplumbed.There’snolightingin

eitherofthebathrooms.”Shecouldn’tcollectherthoughtsbutshehadtomove.Shecameoutfrombehind
thedeskandheturnedhischair.“Thisisadisaster.Idon’tneedamarriageceremonytobemarriedto
you.Itwouldn’tmatterifitwaswritteninblood,andcarvedonmyskin,ifIwantedtoleaveyou,I
would.ButI’mnotdoingthat.You’restuckwithme.You’llhavetoprymeoffofyou.Andyouneedto
buyacar.”

Hereachedforher,butdroppedhisarm.“What?”
“Nomorebikeintherain.Nomorenearlyhorribleaccidents.Idon’twanttoloseyourarrogantass

either.Ihappentoloveitandtherestofyoubesides.Iwanttohearyousayyestothat.”

“Allright,yes.Yes.I’llgetacar.Iwon’trideintherain.Youonlyhadtoask.”
“IhavenoideahowI’mgoingtopullthisoffbut,okay,DevandSarinagetaweddingatLucky’son,

ohmyGod,Sunday.”

“Zarley.”
Shesteppedbetweenhislegsandshovedherhandinhishair,yankinghisheadback.Hecouldmake

herfeelthemostintensecraving,likeshe’dlosehermindifhedidn’ttouchher.“Youneedtogetmesome
ideaofnumbersandthisisnotcomingoutofmyoperatingbudget,and,Reid,ifyoudon’tfuckmeright
now,I’mgonnabreakintoazillionpieces.”

“Jesus,”hesaid,handstoherass.“Marryme.”
“I’malreadymarriedtoyouwitheverythingI’vegot.”Shepulledatthetieonthehipofherdress

andletitfallopen.

“Youarefuckingamazing.”Heshiftedhercloser,pressedhisfacetoherbellyandbreatheddeeply.

“Contractkiller.It’stheonlywayyou’regettingridofme.”

“I’mgettingridofyouinthirtyminutesorCaraisgoingtowalkinonus.”
Hesmiledintoherskin.“Won’tbeanythingshehasn’tseenbefore.”Thenhelethergoandsatback.

“Loseeverythingbuttheshoes.”

Sheletthedresssliptothefloor,undidherbra.Hewentforhisshirt.“Staydressed.”Shehadthis

ideathatfuckinghiminherofficewhileshewasnakedandhewasdressedwouldbefun.“Butshowme
whatyou’vegot.”

Thetensioninhisfacefellaway.Buthewasn’tfasttoobey;shedidn’tdropherbrauntilheundid

hisbelt.Shesteppedoutofherpantswhenheunzippedandbroughthimselfout,fingersclaspedaround
hislength,eyesrazingalloverher,andshecouldn’tdecidehowtotakehim:hands,mouth,combination,
orallthewayinside.

“Yougetmorebeautifuleveryday.”
Decisionmade.Shesteppedaroundhislegsandbenttokisshim,hisfaceinherhands,hislipssofter

thaneverhiswordswere;nevermisplaced,sayingwhathehadtroubleexpressing,lettingherhearhis
truthsandfearsloudandclear.

Oneofhishandsspreadoverhertailbone.Heusedtheothertolinethemup,toteasewithaswipe,a

probeandthentoseatheroverhimandpushupinside.Theystilled.Likethishemadehersofull,she
neededamomenttoadjust.Hisclothingfeltroughbetweenherthighs,acrosshertorso,oneofhisshirt
buttonsgrazedhernippleandsheflinched.Hishandswerehot,andeverykisswasanotherzingof
connectionasshesoftenedaroundhim,knowinghe’dfeelitandtimehismovesotheirpleasurewasatits
mostintense.

“You’reperfect,Flygirl.”Hedraggedhislipsacrosshercheekandnuzzledherearbeforekissing

downhernecktoherthroat.

Inhisarmsshebelievedit,butshe’dspentthelastyearinalatherofterrorthatshe’dbittenoffmore

thanshecouldchewwithLucky’s.Therenovationwasonething,itwaseasytohireexperts,butthere
weresomanywaystofailasabusinesspersonandsheknewmoreaboutfailurethansuccess,because
whowasshereallybutabustedgymnastandasemi-retiredpoledancerwithabusinessdegreesonewit
wasstillunderwarranty.

Hebroughttheirfacestogether,ahandtothebackofherhead.“What’sgoingon?”
“I’mscared.”
Heknewherfearhadnothingtodowithsexinheroffice.“Youwon’tfall.”
Fallnotfail,buttheymeantthesamething.“Youcan’tcatchmeifIdo.”Shewasonherowninthis,

hehadnopartinLucky’s,andthat’sthewayshe’dwantedit.

Heflexedhishipsandpressedherbodydown,hittingaspotdeepinside,causingsharpripplesof

feelingtopulserhythmicallythoughher.Hediditagain;shedroppedherheadbackandhegroaned
againstthehollowofherthroat.“I’llalwaysbetheretopickyouup.”

“Iloveyou.”
“Holdthatthought,”hesaid,andstartedasteadygrind,goingforhermouthwithwildhardkisses,

andshedidbreakintoazillionglitterypiecesbutwasallthestrongerforitwhenhebroughtherback
togetherwithlazycaressesandmurmuredpraise.

Shecurledherarmsaroundhisneckandsnuggledunderhischin.“DidyouseducemesoI’dforgetto

beangrywithyou?”

“Diditwork?”
“I’llgetbacktoyou.”
Hisamusementrumbledinhischest.“Ilikeyouroffice.”
“I’msorryImadeyoustayaway,butIwantedittobeasurprise.”
Hestrummedherspine.“Workedoutswellforme.IwasthinkingIwasgoingtogetflayed,notlaid.”
Shepulledhiseartillhemadeaface,thenkissedhisjaw,andtheymight’vestartedupagainbutfor

footstepsinthecorridor,andCaracalling,“Zarley,Igotyouasandwich.”

Reidsaid,“Oops,”andspunthechairsohisbackwastothedoorasCaraarrivedinit.
“Holymotherofpearl,”shesaid.“Whatiswrongwithyoutwo?”
“Cara,”saidReid.“DoIgetasandwichtoo?”
“No,youdon’tgetadamnsandwich,youmaniac.”
ZarleytuckedherheadintoReid’sneckandlaughedasCaradrewbreath.Shecouldn’tcountthe

numberoftimesherbestfriendhadcaughtthemhavingsexandshereallyhadn’tintendedbeingcaught
again.Theyshould’veatleastclosedthedoor.

“Isnowheresacred?Youhaveawholeapartmentyoucanscrewlikerabbitsin.ThisiswhereI

work.Iguessyouthoughtitwastimetochristeneveryroomhere.Youcould’vewarnedme.Ohwait,I
betternotfindyou’vebeeninmystudio,thecuttingtableisnotstrongenoughforhumpingon.”

“Youknowthisbecause...”Zarleysaid,lookingoverReid’sshoulder.Behindhisbody,Cara

wouldn’tseemuchofher,exceptarmsandlegs.

“Shutup.Ifthereisoneboltoffabric,onethreadoutofplace,I’ll...Hey,”shepointedatZarley’s

feet,“coolshoes.Didn’tnoticethemearlier.”

“Thanks.“You’llwhat?”
“I’llinviteOwenoveranddohimonyourantiquebartop.”
“Nottillafterhe’sfinishedthequarterlyreports,”saidReid.“Hedoesn’tneedthedistraction.”
Caragroaned.“Whatareyouevendoinghere?DidyoubreaksomethingatPlus?”
Reid,puthisteethtoZarley’sshoulderandlaughed.Cara’sfumingwassocomic.“Whatareyou

doingSunday?”sheasked.

“Why?”
“DevandSarinaaregettingmarriedhere.”
“What?No.Here?You’renotserious?”
“Idon’tbelieveiteither.”
“Didhesexyouintothat?”
“Prettymuch.”
Reidmadethechairrock.“I’mstillhereyouknow.”
“Unfortunately,”Caradrawled.“Oh,shotgunwedding,doesSarinahaveadress?I’mgoingtocall

her.”Shetookoff.

“Shehasmysandwich,”saidZarley,asCara’sfootstepssoundeddownthecorridor.

“Shehatesme,”saidReid,disentanglingthem,re-zippinghimself.
“Eh,shedoesn’thateyou.It’s—”
“Yes,Ido,”Carashouted.
TheybothlaughedandZarleyputherunderwearonwhileReidheldoutherdress.“I’mgoingto

needhelpforSunday,”shesaid,slidingherarmsthroughthesleeves.

“Anythingandallthecostsareonme.”Hepulledthedressaroundherandtiedaclumsybowtohold

ittogether.“SorryIruinedyoursurprise.”

“Youdidn’t.”Shesteppedintohisopenarms.Herhairwastangled,whatlittlemakeupshewore

wouldn’thavesurvived,butwhenyourpartnerwasahumantornado,youhadtoexpectalittlerough
weather,andtheeyeofthestormwasalwaysdelicious;thecalmafteritrestoring.“I’llseeyouathome.”

Hekissedherforehead.“You’llbelate.Callmewhenyou’releaving,I’llrunyouabath.”She

watchedhimcollecthisjacketandhelmet.Bythetimeshegothome,hewould’veorganizeddinner,and
soakinginthehugetubwithhimwasagorgeouswaytoendalongday.

Hestoodinthedoorwayandlookedbackather.“Apleasuredoingbusinesswithyou,Flygirl.”He

grinnedandshewantedtokisshimagain,startupagain,butshehadtoputaliquororderin,andworkout
howtohostaweddinginfourdays’time.

Fingertipstoherforehead,shegavehimasalute.“Anytime,BackBooth.”
“Abouttheantiquebar...”Heletthesentencetrailoffasherakedherheadtofootwitheyesthat

saideverythingabouthowhelovedher.

Shepointedatthedoor.Theyweresogoingtotestoutthatbar.Makesureitcouldstanduptosome

heavydutybumpandgrind.“Getout.”

Heblewherakissandwasgoneandbeforeshecouldretieherdress,Carawasbackwiththat

sandwichandherlaptop.

“Awedding,here,onSunday.Heusessextodrugyou,doesn’the?”shesaid.
“I’mahaplessvictimofhisamazingwang.”
Caramadeagaggingsoundandthentheygotdowntoitandplannedawedding.

FIVE

Owen

Owenlookedattheagendaonhistablet.Fiveitems:ramificationsofCapExspendonquarterlyresults,
theboardreport,adiscussionaboutstaffbenefits,candidatereviewforthenewleadershiprole,andwhat
thehell?Nowheretherediditsaygetreadyforaweddinginfourdays’time,butthat’swhatDevhadjust
saidwashappening.

“Weneedsuits,”Owensaid,asReidwalkedintohisofficecarryinghishelmet.Itwasadefault

thought,itwastheshock,followingsocloselytoSarinaannouncingshewaspregnantwithDev’skid.

“Youhavemoresuitsthanyoucaneverwear,”Reidsaid.“Idon’tneedanothersuit.Ineedacar.”

HedroppedintotheseatbesideOwen,throwinghiskeysonthetableandputtinghishelmetonthefloor.

“It’sawedding.”HelookedatReidandgesturedacrossthetabletoDev.“You’rebuyingasuit.”

DevmadeasoundandOwencuthimoff.“Youbothare.”

“Listentoyou.”Sarinasaid.“Weddingsareallaboutthebride.Ineedadress.”
“Shealsoneedsabettercar,”saidDev.
Sarinaleanedintohisshoulder.“Youcangetmeacar.Caraisgoingtohelpwiththedress.Ifwe’re

goingtohavealeadershipmeeting,weneedtogetonwithit,becauseIsuddenlyhavealotofpersonal
stufftodowhenI’mnottoonauseoustostandup.”

Theyalllookedather.
“Okay,TMI,”shesaidwithalaugh.“I’mfine,Icansurviveonsorbet.”
“Youcannotsurviveonsorbet,”hesaid.“Dev.”
“Ithinkwe’vebrokenOwen,”Devsaid.“She’sjoking.She’stotallygoingtoeatproperfoodatsome

point.”

Owenpalmedhisface.“Ithinkyouhavebrokenme.”Hewasthefirstofthemtohaveaserious

relationship.Thefirsttobeengaged.Theonlyonetohavetoattendthefuneralofthepersonheintended
tomarry.HewasdelightedDevandSarinahadfinallygottenittogether.“AweddingonSunday.It’s
Wednesday.Iknowyoucangotothecourthouseandgetmarriedinanafternoon,butthat’snotwhatyou
saidyou’redoing.”

“We’rehavingapartyforourfriendsandfamily,”saidSarina.
“AtLucky’s,”saidDev,lookingatReidwhonodded.Sothat’swhereReidhadbeen,toputthe

squeezeonZarley.

“Really?No?OnSunday,”hesaid,asithithimthatthey’dbeunlikelytofindanywhereelse,withno

notice.“Didn’tknowit’dopened.”

“Ithasn’t.Mygirlisaphenomenon,”saidReid.
“Weneedtohitupthetailornow.CanCaramakeaweddingdressinfourdays?”hesaidtoSarina.
“Ifwecangetonwiththismeeting,Mr.Chair,Imightfindout,”Sarinasaid.
Themeeting,right,therewerethingstheyneededtodiscuss,buthecouldn’tthinkofanyreasonwhy

theyhadtodoitnow.“Meetingadjourned,”hesaid.“DevandSarinaaregettingmarried.”

“Let’snotgocrazy,”Sarinasaid.“Weneed—”
“No,no,whateveryouwereabouttosay.We’vegottimeforcrazy.”
“Yeehah,”Reidshouted,loudenoughforChristophertostandupinhiscubicleoutsideSarina’s

officeandglareatthem.“ButIdon’tneedanothersuit,”Reidsaidinhisregularloudvoice.“Irarely
weartheonesI’vegot.”

“Humorme,”Owensaid.“It’sourfirstwedding.”
“Ourfirstbaby,”saidDev.
OwenleantoverthetableandgrippedSarina’shand.“Whendidweallgetsogrown-up?”He

lookedbackatReid.“Evenyou.”

ReidgruntedacknowledgementandSarinasaid,“It’sjustaparty.”
“It’snotjustaparty,”saidReid.“Youtwoarefinallygettingyourshittogetherandyou’regoingto

standinfrontofeveryoneandpromisenottofuckitupagain.”

“Reid,”Sarinasaid,pullingherhandoutofOwen’sandscowlingatReid.
“Tellmethat’snottrue,that’snotwhyyouweren’tlookingforaspermdonorandDevwasn’tready

toquitoverit?”Reidglaredatthemboth.“Youfuckedupwitheachother.”Intothesilencethatfollowed,
hesaid,“Ah,screwit.Iftwosensiblepeoplelikeyoucanfuckitup,whatchanceisthereforanasshole
likeme?”Hehead-desked.His,“AndI’mfuckingjealous,”wasspokenintothefakewoodofOwen’s
meetingtable.

OwenreachedoverandshovedReid’sshoulder.Herealizedthat’swhathewasfeelingtoo,

jealousy.Whichwasridiculous.Hewasdeliriously,unexpectedlyhappywithCara.Hehadasecond
chanceatloveandfamilyandyethewasn’tbuyingasuitforhisownweddingbecausehedidn’thavea
dateforit.

“Whatdoyouhavetobejealousabout,dickhead?Ironically,youwerethefirstonetosettleina

relationship,post-college,”saidDev.“That’sendoftheworldthinkingrightthere.”

Reidstraightenedup.“Iwantthewholeprogram.”Hehelduphislefthand.“Iwantthering.”He

draggedhishandthroughhishair.“Iwantthestupidsentimentalvows.Iwantthelegallyarguable
paperwork.Iwantthefakesecurityofthehappyeverafterandtheidiotpromiseofforbetterorfor
worse.IwantZarleyboundsoclosetomeshehastothinktwiceaboutwalkingaway,andshe’stoosmart
togiveittome.”

“Shewon’tmarryyou?”Sarinasaid,shocked.
Heshookhishead.“Shesayswe’realreadyasgoodasmarried,butmaybeIkeepaskingwrong.”
“I’vegotthesameproblem,”Owensaid.
“No!”saidSarina,shockinhervoiceandintheshiftofherbrows.“GiveCaratime.You’restilla

newcouple.”

“It’scomplicated.”
ReidturnedtoOwenbutwavedahandatDevandSarina.“Nofuckingway.Girllovesyou.You’re

alloverher.Youcan’tbecomelikethem.”

“Dude,”saidDevwithhiseyesclosed.
Itwasfairwarning.He’dletCarathinktheirrelationshipbalancedonheruncertaintyabouthaving

kids.Thathavingafamilywasabreakingpointforhim.Hewantedhisownkids.HadLaceylived,he’d
likelyhavebeenadadbynow.WhenhefirstmetCara,afamilywasoffthetableanditalmoststopped
himcommittingtoher,forhersake,becausehedidn’tbelieveshewouldn’twantherownkids.Nowthat
hissexualfunctionwasrestoreditwasoffthetableagain,butthistimebecauseshewaspushingback.

“Caradoesn’tknowifshewantskids.”
“Andyoualwaysdid,”saidSarina.“Iseethecomplication.Whatdoesshesayaboutit?”
“Shefeelslikeit’sanexpectationandthatitmightstopherdoingwhatshewantswithherownlife.

But—”

“Stoprightthere.”Sarinaputbothhandsup,palmsflat.“Cara’sright.It’sastraitjacketwomenare

bornwith.”Shefoldedherarmsdefensively.“Don’thavechildren,you’renotaproperwoman.You’re
somekindofinhuman,unfeelingfreak,shallowandself-absorbed.Onekid,selfish.Two,stereotype
mom.Three,indulgent,four,irresponsible,adrainonsociety.Havethosekidswithmorethanonepartner
andwehaveawholeotherscaleofjudgmentandnoneofitgood.”

“Haveakidbyyourselfwhenyou’restillinschoollikeAna,”saidDev,“Yourownparentsmight

turnonyou.”

“I...”
Sarinacuthimoff.“Iknowyouloveher,butsheneedstoknowyou’llplayyourpart.She’shungryto

makeherbusinesssucceed.Shebackflippedoffadesktogetitstarted.Youalreadyhavethatinyourlife,
andyouneverneedtobreakforbabies.”

“ButIwouldifthat’swhatsheneeded.I’dbetheprimarycarer.”Anykidshedidhaveweren’tgoing

tobebroughtupwithhiredhelpactingthepartofparent,likehewas.

“Doessheknowthat?”
Heputbothhandstohishead.“IthinkIonlynowworkeditout.”Theassumptionbetweenthemhad

beenthatCarawouldbetheonetosacrificeherownambitiontobuildingafamily.Owenpressedhis
fingertipsintohisskull.Itdidn’tneedtobethatway.Honestdidn’tmeannocompromise.Hedroppedhis
handsandpickeduphiscell.“Ineedtomakeacallandthenwe’regoingtogetsuits.”Hecoulddistract
himselfwithsuitsuntilhecouldseeCara,talkthisout.“AndtellmewhateverelseIcandotohelp.”

Whenhehadhisofficebacktohimself,hecalledCara.Hercellrangout.ThetopfloorofLucky’s

whereshehadherworkshopwasalargespace.Shecouldbeanywhereinthebuilding.Hedialedagain.
Itcouldwait.Hewasn’tgoingtospillonthephoneanyway,buthewantedtohearhervoice.

Atthelastmomentbeforethecellswitchedonmessagebank,sheanswered,breathless.“Foundit.

Buriedunder...hello,lover.”

“You’rebusy.”
“SomeidiottalkedZarleyintohavingaweddinghereinlikethreeminutes.”
“SoIhear.”
“Meanttocallyou.SpoketoSarina.Shemightbewearingawhitesheet.There’snotimefor

anything.”

“Theyjustwanttobetogether.”
Shesighed,apuffofairinhisear.“It’scrazyromantic.Areyoucallingtocheckin?”
“Canwetalktonight?”
“That’s...aww.AmIintrouble?I’mgoingtobelate.”
“You’renotintrouble.”Buthewas.Hehadtomakeherunderstandshecamefirstforhimbefore

anythingelse.“I’llwaitup.”

“I’lltrynottobetoolate,butblameReidifIam.”Themostconvenientofscapegoats.“Alsoremind

metotellyouaboutZarley’santiquebartop.”

“I’mintrigued.”
“InsomeoneIhope.”
“What?”
“Gottago.”Shedisconnected.
Fifteenminuteslater,hewasintheparkinggaragewithDev.“Howdidyourfolksreact?”heasked,

unlockingthecar.

DevpulledafaceandopenedthepassengersidedoorasReidgallopedacrossthelottothem.
“Ohshit,theydon’tknow.”
“YourdadwillworrybutyourmomlovesSarina.They’llbefine,”Reidsaid.“Ineedalift,it’s

raining.”

Owenopenedthedriver’sdoor.“Yourbikedoesn’trunintherain?”
“PromisedZarleyIwouldn’trideintherainanymore.”
“That’swhyyouneedacar,”saidDev.
“Yeah.Isupposeit’sabouttimeIownedone.”
OwenlookedacrossthehoodtoDev.“Wow,hereallyisagrown-upboynow.”

“It’slove,”saidDevandgotinthecar.“Alsoshotgun.”
“Igottarideintheback?”Reidopenedthedoor.“You’vegotmebuyinganothersuitIdon’tneedand

nottakingthebike,that’senoughpainforoneday.”

“YousayingZarleydidn’talreadygiveyoupainaboutthewedding?”saidDev.
“Nopain.Nogain.”Reidgotinthecar.“Hey,thisisnotbad.Whatkindofcaristhis?”
TherewasathirtyminutediscussionaboutcarswhileOwendrovethemintothecityandthenDev

said,“HalfexpectedyoutotellmeIwasgoingtohavetomarrySarinaonthePlusrooftop.”

Owengroaned.“Leastromanticplaceonearth.”
“No,theleastromanticplaceisthestorageroomontwo,”saidDev.
Theyexchangedaglance.“Thetwoofyouhave...”HeletthattrailoffasamemoryofCara

conspiringtomeethimthereinvadedhisbrain.Thatdumpofaroomwaswherethey’dconfessedtobeing
morethanafling.He’dtoldherhelovedherinaroomwhereofficejunkwenttodie.Shedeservedso
muchbetterthanfeelingsheneededtosacrificeanythingshewantedforhishappiness.

“Oh,yeah.Itwas—”Devstarted.
Reidcuthimoff.“Notsuitableforwork.”Heleanedforward.“Jesus,amItheonlyoneofusnotto

makeoutinthedeadfurnitureshowroom.”

Oweneyedhimintherearview.“You’rebuyingacarnow.Yoursexinstorageroomdaysareover.”
“Youhadfull-onsexwithCarainthestoreroom?”HepokedDev’sshoulder.“WithSarina?”He

floppedbackintotheseatalookofdisgustonhisface.

“No,butitwasinappropriateanywayandnoneofusshould’vedoneit.Ihavetogetfacilities

managementtoclearitout.”

“Ohhell,I’mnotworriedaboutthat.I’mtryingtoworkouthowIcanlureZarleythere.”
“Shereallysaidnotomarryingyou?”Devsaid.
“Yeah,butthatwholethingisaboutmyinsecurities.I’llgetoverit.”
“Sogrown-up,”saidOwen.
“Whataboutkids?”DevtwistedtolookatReidthroughthegapinfrontseats.
“Man,it’sneverevencomeup.”
“Youdon’twantkids?”Devsaid.
“Zarleylostababy,that’swhysheneverwenttotheOlympics.It’sonher.Shewantstohaveakid

withme,I’monehundredpercentthere.I’vegotnoideaifIcandodad,butifshethinksIcan,I’mthere.
Otherwise,it’sherbody,hercall.”

OweneyedReidintherearview.“Doyoureallymeanthat?”
“Imeanit.”
Hegruntedinannoyance.“Howisityou’remoreenlightenedthanmeonthatcount.”
“It’samiracle.”
HecaughtReid’sshrugbeforehecheckedtheroad.“AndwhatdoyouknowaboutZarley’sbartop?”
Reidlaughed.“Morethanyou.ButIdisagreewithCaraabouthercuttingtable.”
“Ihavenoideawhatanyofthatmeans.”
Heknewaboutsuitsthough,andhowtodelightatailorwithapremiumurgentorder.Accordingto

Dev,thethreeofthemlookedboss.

Latethatnight,lyinginbedwithacopyofWiredopenonhistablet,waitingforCaratogethome,he

didn’tfeelboss.Hefeltuncomfortablyconflicted.HewasmorelikeSarina,wantingafamilysohardshe
waspreparedtodoitalone,thanReidwho’dtakeitasitcame,andhedidn’tknowhowtoreconcile
himselftoCara’sambivalenceorhisownselfishness.

Atmidnight,hestartedtoworry,andashewasreachingforhisphonetocallherSammy’sheadshot

up.Thedogknewshewashomebeforeherkeyhitthedoor.Hewokefromadeadsleepandwhined
beforeOwenheardasound.“Gogether,Sam.”

Sammyleftthedoorwaytothebedroomandtrotteddownstairswithawildlywhippingtail.Owen

heardCaramakeafussofSam,andthenherfootstepsonthestairs.Shecameintotheroom,strippingoff
herdress,flingingitonthefloorandface-plantingthebedwithamoan.

Heputhishandoverherstarbursttattoo.“Longday.”
“I’mdead.”
“Haveyoueaten?”Hecouldheatsomethingforher.
“Hmm.Yeah.”
Shewasexhausted.He’dbethemostselfishmanintheworldifhetriedtotalktoheraboutanything

asseriousaswhethertheystartedafamily.Heshiftedclosertoher,unclippedherbra,rearrangedthe
bedcoversandrolledhersoshewascurledinfrontofhim.Hekissedthebackofherneck.

Helovedher.Shewashisfamilyandhe’dfindawaytotellherthat,sosheknewnothingshewanted

forherselfhadtocomesecond.

SIX

Sarina

“Youtwo,gettingmarried.”Christophertouchedhisbun,notahairoutofplace.“Can’tsayitrocksmy
jocks,”hesaid,givingherside-eye.“Explainswhatyouallhavebeendoingthisweek.It’sbeena
madhouse.Allthatshockertension.Reidyahooing,likearodeoclown,”hepointedatSarina,acrossher
desk,“youcryingactualtears,andyou,”hechin-liftedatDev,whosatbesidehim,“losingyourcool.I
thoughtwewereabouttogoChapter11.IupdatedmyLinkedIn.”

Sarinaalmostlaughed.“You’renotsurprised?”
Christophercurledahandandlookedathismanicure.“Onlythatittooksolong.Whatwasupwith

that?”

SheglancedatDev,who’dsuckedhisbottomlipintohismouth.It’sliketheywerethelasttwo

peopletogetajokethateveryoneelsehadbeenriffingonforever.Likethey’dthought“winteriscoming”
wasliterallyabouttheseason.

“Isthatwhyyoukeptgivingmestink-eye?”saidDev.
“Ihadtroublewatchingyoufumblethepass,dude,isall.”
“Chapter11mightbelessembarrassing,”Devsaid.
“We’renotgoingintoChapter11,”shesaid,firmly.“YoucanignoreLinkedInandIneedyourhelp.”

Mightaswelldeliveralltheshocks.SarinaneededChristophertohelprescheduleherlife.“Also,we’re
pregnant,butit’searlysothat’sbetweenthethreeofus,ReidandOwen.”

ChristopherlookedatDev.“Impressive.Didn’tknowyouhaditinyou.”
Devunfoldedfromhischair.“Thisislikeapracticesessionfortellingmydad.”
“Dude,youhaven’ttoldyourfamily.”Christophermadeatongue-cluckingsound.“That’sseverely

lame.”

Itwaswrongtogiggleatthat,butshedid.Shewasn’tgoingtoadmitherfamilywereinthedarkas

welluntildinnertonight.

“I’mgoingtogousespacesinsteadoftabsinmycodeandbuyasuitnow,”saidDevinhomageto

“SiliconValley.”HestoodandlookeddownatChristopher.“We’recool?”

“I’llgetusedtoit,”Christophersaidwithoutlookingup,andDevexitedshakinghishead.
Oncehe’dgone,Christopherstoppedemotinglikeaspoiledkid.“Youneedmyhelp.”
Hewasthemostefficientandtrustworthyassistantshe’dhad.Beinghelpfulwashisjam.Hekepther

andOwen’sdaysinorderandwastheirfirstlineofdefenseagainsttime-wasters.Hecouldsniffouta
politicalplayattenpacesandfreezeoutanofficenarcissistwithasingleraisedbrow.Theonlyonewho
blewpasthimwithimpunitywasReid,becauseReid.ButChristophercravedinclusionandSarinahad
kepthimatarm’slengthwhereherpersonallifecrossedherprofessionalone.Nowthatlinewasso
blurredtherewasnopointnotconfidinginhim.

“Icouldn’ttellyoubefore.”He’dhavehadtwistedknickerstoknowshe’dsatherewithReid

developingaprojectplanforherpregnancyandselectioncriteriaforaspermdonor.“NowIneedyour
helptosortmylifeoutandmanageaninternalannouncement.”

“Soyouknow,Idon’tdislikeDev,Ithoughthewasdickingyouaround.NowIknowhe’sum...”
“Dickingme.”
Christopherwincedandtheybothlaughedandbalancewasrestored.Shetoldhimaboutthe

wedding,thatitwouldbeaprivateaffairandthenplottedwhatandhowtotellPlusstaff,which
inevitablymeanttheindustryatlarge.Tellingherfamilywouldbelesscomplicatedandshewouldn’t
haveChristopher’sprecisionskillfororganizationathand.

ShebeatDevtoherfolks’place,buttheywereallwaiting.Evenhernotoriouslylatefatherwason

time.Ofcourse,they’dguessedshewaspregnantwhenshe’dgotoffaplanefromLondonontheweekend
andstartedpukingoveraRuebensandwich,butshe’dneededtotakeatestandtalktoDevfirstandthen
livewiththerealityofitalittlebeforefacingtheonslaughtofhappiness.Theyhadnoideatheyneededto
cancelallotherplansforSunday,especiallyasherplanhadbeentobeasinglemomandtheyhadno
reasontothinkanydifferently.

“Youare?”saidRo,meetingherinthehallwayoftheirfamilyhome.
“Areyou?”saidDad,blockingthedoorway.
“Lookather,ofcoursesheis,”saidMom,peeringoverhisshoulder.
BehindMom,Brianheldhistonguebuthewasteary-eyed.
“CanwewaitforDev?”shesaid,pushingpasttheknotoffamilyandgoingthroughtothekitchen,

wheresomethingsmelledgoodenoughtomakeherhungry.

“ItisDev’ssprog?”saidRo,trailing.
“Thisbabyisgoingtobesoprecious,”saidMom.“IhopeittakesafterDev.”
“Mom,”sheprotested.“Traitor.”
“Hehaslovelyeyes,andyoursarelikeyourdad’s,kindofsquinty.”
“Squinty,”Dadsaid,affronted.“HaveyoualwaysthoughtIhadsquintyeyes?”
Ropluckedathers,fingerstothefaredges,pullingsohereyeswenttoslits.“Areminesquintytoo?”
Somuchfortellingherfamily,they’drunawaywiththerealityalready.Theywerebusyarguing

aboutfacialfeaturesandskintonesandsuggestingbabynameswhenSarinaheardDevatthefrontdoor.
Brianwastheonlyonewhosawhersneakawaytolethiminandraninterferencebyaskingwherethe
carvingknifewas.

Shesteppedoutontheporchandshutthedoorbehindher.“Hi.”It’donlybeenafewhourssince

she’dseenDevbutshelitupinsidetohavehimalone.

“Everythingokay?”Heputhishandstohershouldersandkissedherforehead.
“Ihaven’tsaidawordyetandalreadythey’replanningthekid’sfuture.”
Hesmiled,brightandtensionfree.“Iloveyourfamily.Leftofaverageandproudofit.”
“Theycanbeabitmuchallatonce.”
“Inagoodway.Whyareweouthere?”
“Ineededaminutewithyou.”
Hepulledherintohisarms.“Likethesoundofthat.I’lltakealltheminutesyou’vegotspareforthe

nextforever.”

Shegrinnedintohisshirt,breathedhimin.Thenoveltyofhearinghimsaythingslikethatwasgoing

totakealongtimetowearoff.“Didyougetanewsuit?”

“It’sboss,notthebrand,thelook.DoesChristopherstillhaveathingaboutme?”
“He’soverit.”Shelookedupathim.Cradledinthecomfortofhisembracesherealizedherhead

hadbeenspinningallday.Thepaceofchange,theeffectsofthepregnancy,themassivenewtodolist.
“Arewerushingthisfornogoodreason?Wehaveourwholelivestogettothedetails.”

Heheldheroff,thoselovelyeyesofhisgonebig.“Iwantthedetailsoverwithsowecangettothe

funstuff.Weshould’vegottenouracttogetherlongbeforenow.DamnReidbeingrightaboutus.Ifyou
hadaweddingdream,ifIdid,thiscouldbedifferent,andheck,I’llstoppushingifyouwantmetoslow
down,butforme,thesoonerweacethedetails,thequickerwegettohaveourlives.”

Shereacheduptobrushherfingeroverhislips.Shewasgettingherdreamwedding,becauseher

bestfriendhadgottenapromotionandanewportfolioaslover,husband,father.“Idon’thaveaproblem
withthat.”Henippedherfinger,soshehookedhimdowntoherandtheykissed,lazyandsoft,porch
appropriate,butDevmadeasoundinthebackofhisthroatandhepulledherbodycloserandporch
appropriatewentneighborhoodsoftporn.

Shepushedhimawaypanting.“Wehavetogetthroughdinner.”
Heblinked,shookhisheadandcameather,takingherfaceinhishandandloweringhislipstohers.

“Thisistherestofourlives.Thisisthefunpart.”Hecouldn’tmakeakissstickbecauseshewassmiling
toohard.She’dwatchedReidandthenOwenfindloveanddespairedofhavingthatforherselfbecause
Devwasscaredtoaskformore.She’dwantedafamilyandfiguredshe’dhavetomakethathappenfor
herselforriskmissingout.Ifitwaspossibleforahearttoburstwithemotionaloverloadastheirpeanut
babygestated,asDevkisseddownherneck,call911.

“Stop,stop.”Sheputherhandoverhisfaceandpushedhimback.“KeepthatupandI’llneed

medicalattention.”

Hemissedheramusement,grabbingforherhands,frowning.“Sarina,what’swrong?”
“Nothing,nothing,exceptI’msohungryIcouldfalldownandyou’remakingmesohotImight

combust.”Andsheneverrememberedeverbeingsotired.

“Oh.”Heeye-rolledathisownreaction.
“Andlook,ifwe’rehavingaweddingSunday,youhavetostopsleepingwiththebride.”
“Nothappening,”hesnapped.
“AccordingtoChristopher,thebrideandgroomarenotsupposedtoseeeachotherfromthenightof

therehearsaldinnertillthewedding.”

“Theguydoeshaveitinforme.I’mgoingtoseeyouatworkandwe’renothavingarehearsal

dinner.”

Sarinainclinedherhead.Therewasaroastcookingbehindthedoor,itwasascloseastheywere

goingtogettoapre-weddingevent.“YouneedtospendtimewithAna,andyouneedtoseeyourparents,
andI’mguessingyou’dratherdothatalone.Staywithmetonightandthenwe’llbetogetheragainon
Sunday.”

Hepouted,bringinghertohischestagain.“Ionlyjustgotinyourbedandyou’rekickingmeout.”
“Onlythisonce.”
Hegrunted,tippedherfaceupandkissedherandthedoorbehindthemopened.
“Getinhere,”saidRo.“BrianiscarvingtheroastandMomisgoingtomakeherselfsickwith

excitement.Hey,Dev.”

“Hey,Ro.”
“So,brother-in-law.Howareyourstraighty-one-eightyfamilygoingtocopewithallthis?Dothey

knowanyotherfamiliesfeaturingopenmarriagesandlesbiansiblings?”

Devsnorted.“Mypoorparents,youguysaretheleastoftheirconcerns.They’reabouttogetanew

daughter-in-lawandtwograndkids.”

“Ohfuck,you’rehavingtwins.”Rodisappearedinside,shoutingthenewsandDev’sbreathsnagged.
Sarinapattedhischeek.“WelcometotheGallos.”
Overdinnertheysettledthenothavingtwinsissue,remindingthemaboutAna’spregnancy.The

familyshowedinordinatetactbynotaskingforthespecificsofhowSarinacametobecarryingDev’s
babyandnotonefromthedonorspermshe’dbought.MaybeDevwasbuoyedbythat,andthejoyofa
home-cookedmealhehadn’thadtocookhimself,buthestoppedpretendingtomonitorwhatsheateand
somewherebetweenthemealanddessert,hescannedthetableandsaid,“I’dlikepermissiontomarry
Sarinaandjointhefamily.”

Theywentofflikeabottlerocket.
Therewasnomomentofsilencewhiletheydigestedthat.Noshockedexpressionsorgaspsof

surprise.Thefourofthemmadenoise.Forkshittingplates,knivesonglassware,chairlegsbarking,
shoutsofyes.Momcried.BrianandRohugged.DadshovedagainstthetableinanattempttoshakeDev’s
hand.

“That’sayes,then?”Devsaid,claspingDad’shand.Helookedbackather,eyesshiny,smileso

broaditalmosthurttoseehowhappyhewas.She’dhadnoideahewasgoingtodothat.Theask
permissionthingwasinsultinglyretro,packagedasitwaswiththenotionthatadaughterbelongedtoher
fatherbeforeshecouldbegivenawaytoahusband,buttheideaofaskingherfamilyforpermissiontobe
consideredoneofthemwassuchagorgeouslyDevthingtodo,herthroatclosedupandhereyesstung.

“It’sabsolutelyayes,”saidMom,asDadappearedtobespeechlessandthenDev’sarmswere

aroundher,pullinghertoherfeet,givingherhisshoulder,andshelaughedasmuchasshecriedwhilehe
heldherandherfamilycarriedonasiftheywerethelastcoupleonearthandmarriagewasararespecies
thatneededsavingfromextinction.

Whoknewjoycouldbesoexhausting.
TherewasanotherexplosionofactivitywhenDevsaidtheweddingwasSunday,butRo’svoicecut

throughthediscussionaboutwhoneededtobeinvitedandwhatneededtobedoneinahurry.“Whois
goingtomarryyou?”sheasked.

“Wehaven’tworkedthatoutyet,”Devsaid.“It’sonthelist.”
“Pickme,”Rosaid.“Please,please,Icangetdeputizedfortheday.Ialmostdiditforfriends

recently.IknowwhatIneedtodoandIreallywanttobeyourcelebrant.”

“Isthatallowed?”Momasked.
“Isthatwhatyou’dwant?”Dadsaid.
Devhadherhandinhisandsqueezedit.Thatmightbealeaptoofarforhim,forhisparents.“It’san

option,Ro,”shesaid.“LetDevandItalkaboutit.”Rogrinned,launchedintoanexplanationofhowcool
California’sDeputyfortheDayprogramwas.

SarinaleanedintoDev,“Isthattooweirdforyou?”
Hekissedherforehead.“Ilikeit.”
“Sure?”
“IaskedReidtobemybestman.IfRodoesthis,youmissoutonabridesmaid.”
“HowwouldyoufeelifIaskedOwentobemybridesmaid?”Hewasclosertoherthanany

girlfriendsandherbestfriendafterDev.

Heclosedhiseyes,buthissmilesaideverything.“He’dlooktragicinadress,butsure,Idon’t

mind.”

“Yourparents...”ItwouldseemlikeacircustothePatels,despitethenoelephantrule.
“Willcope,Sarina,stopworryingaboutthem.They’renotquicktoadjusttochange,butthey’renot

setinconcreteeither.”HeturnedtoRo.“You’reon.We’dbedelightedifyou’dmarryus.Justmakesure
it’slegal.”

Rostampedherfeetwithexcitement.“Thankyou,thankyou.It’llbelegalandbeautiful,Ipromise.”
“Honey,Iknowyouwon’twantmetogiveyouaway,butifthere’sanythingyouandDevwantfrom

yourmom,Brianandme,you’vegotit.”

AndwiththatfromDad,Sarinawasfullupwithfeelingandherheadfeltsoheavyshewasaface-

plantvictimwaitingtohappen.LasttimesheandDevhadleftherparents’placethey’darguedonthe
streetaboutwhowasdriving.It’dturnedintoafightaboutthedecisionsshewasmakinginherlife,Dev
hadwrong-footedthemwithadisasterofaproposalandit’dtornthemapart.Tonight,shedozedinthe
carwhileDevdrovehome,anditwasthedefinitionofhappinesstofallintobedtogether,curlupand
sleepinhisarms.

Itwasthedefinitionoflovethenextmorning,whenheheldbackherhairasshetossedhercookies.

SEVEN

Cara

“Whenyouthinkweddingdress,what’sinyourmind?”Caraaskedassheranatapemeasurearound
Sarina’sbust.Threeandhalfdaystogetaweddingdressmade.Itwasn’ttheOlympics,butitwasa
challenge.

Sarinawinced.“IfIsayabsolutelynothing,willyourunscreamingfromtheroom?”
“Noactually,thatmakesiteasier.Aweddingdressdoesn’thavetobeall,youknow,bridal.”Which

wasanoddthingtosay,evenaccompaniedwiththehandactionstoindicateabigpuffyskirtandlotsof
girlyfroth.

Sarinalaughed.“IthinkIknowwhatyoumean.I’mnotintofussyclothing.IfiguredI’dbebetter

buyingofftherackorwearingthereddressIworetothePlustenthanniversary.”

Carascrewedupherface.“Red.”
Sarinasnorted.“Yeah,Iguessnot.Noreasontoslapeveryonewiththescarletwomanalready

pregnantvibebeforeIhaveto.”

“Wecandobetterthanthat.”Sarinawasalittlehippiechick,alittleBohoinherstyle,maybelace,

maybeavintagefeel.CararanthetapemeasurearoundSarina’ships.“Owensaidyouhadmorning
sickness.”

“Didn’texpectit.Askmehowgoodmyabilitytopredictmylifehasbeenthislastyear.Igotalotof

thingswrong.”

ShemovedthetapetoSarina’swaist.“Butnottheoutcome.”
“Thebaby,marryingmybestfriend.I’minwonderland.Truly,mylifecouldnotbe—”Sarina

blinkedandshookherhead.“Sorry,everythingmakesmetearupatthemoment.”

“Hormones,huh.”
Sarinawipedhereyes.“Can’tlivewith’em,can’tfunctionwithout’em.”
Notifyouwantedtogetpregnantforsure.“Doyouworrythathavingkidswillstopyoudoingother

things?”Carablurtedthatout,whenshealreadyknewtheanswer.Sarinawassupremelyconfidentshe
couldbeamotherandasuper-successfulprofessional.“No,ofcourseyoudon’t.Sillyquestion.”Besides
that,she’dalreadymadeitcareer-wise.

“It’snotasillyquestion.YoucanonlyspreadyourselfsothinandIwasn’tintendingtosacrificemy

careertohaveafamily.WhenIdecidedtodoitalone,IknewIwasgoingtoneedalotofhelp.ButIcan
affordit,andmyfamilyweretotallyonboard.”

“Ifyouweren’tyou,competentandallIcandoanything,andalreadyabigshot,wouldyoustillhave

wantedtodoitalone?”

“Goodquestion.”
Caraletabreathout.ThequestionfeltmorepersonalthantouchingSarinatotakehermeasurements.
“IalwaysknewIwantedtohavekidsatsomepoint.Ididn’tthinkabouthavingafamilyasanend

goal,IfiguredsomedayIwouldandwhenthatsomedaydidn’tshowup,IstartedtothinkabouthowI’d
feelifitneverdid.That’showIknewwhatIwanted.”

Buckingbobbins.CarapulledoutapadandwrotedownSarina’smeasurements.Itmadesense

Sarinawouldhavethatcertainty,nothingaboutherwasaccidental,eventherelaxedwayshedressedwas
partofwhoshewas.

“ButIdon’tthinkyouhavetohavekidstoliveuptoyourpotentialasawomanoranythinglikethat.

Justbecauseyouhavethemakeababybodypartsdoesn’tmeanyouhavetousethem.Andalotofwomen
can’tconceivedespitethesciencewe’vegottohelp.Doesn’tmakethemanylessrealandvaluableas
humanbeings.”

“No,Iknowthat.”Samewayitdidn’tmakeOwenlessamanwhenhecouldn’tgethard.Butitwas

goodtohearitsaid,becauseevenherowndadwasconvincedshe’dwanttobeamom.Timetomovethis
conversationalong.“Howdoyoufeelaboutlace?”

“Cara,talktome.”
SheturnedbacktofaceSarina.“Idon’tknowifIwantkids.”There,firsttimeshe’dsaidthatquite

sodirectly.Nailedthelanding,nowobble.

“Becauseyou’reambitious.Igetthat.”
HerambitionswerenothinglikeSarina’s.Shedidn’twanttorunamajorcompanyorbea

billionaire.Shewantedtodesignbeautifulthingsthatmadepeoplefeelgood.Thatwasadreamjob,butit
wasn’tgoingtochangetheworldorfeedstarvingchildrenanditwasn’tanythinglikewhatSarinahad
achieved.“Oh,Idon’tknowaboutthat.”Ifshewasasurgeonoranastronaut,orapresidentialcandidate,
savinglivesorkickingasses,maybeshecouldjustifynotwantingtohaveafamily.

“Allthislookslikeambitiontome.”SarinaspreadherarmsandCaratriedtoseewhatshesaw.Her

bigcuttingtable,hertwomachines,thedressmakers’dummies,theshelvingforfabric,thepinboard
coveredwithsketches,thestackedboxesofthreads,buttons,jewelsandfixings.Itlookedlikecraft,a
waytomakealiving.

“I’monlystartingoutandI’mnotaimingashighasyouandOwen.”
“It’snotacompetition.Successmeanssomethingdifferenttousall.”
Andsodidfailure,beingincapacitated.Somepeoplenevergotbackupagain.
“MaybeIdon’tlovehimenough.”There,shesaidit.Isn’tthatwhatitmeanttolackthecommitment

tofamilyOwenwanted?“Idon’tknowthatI’mgoingtofeeldifferentlyinfiveyears’time.Itwasn’tan
issuewhenhecouldn’t.Nowit’smewhodoesn’twanttoandIhavetowonderifitmakesmethewrong
personforhim.”

“It’snotaterriblethingifyoudon’tknow,orifyoudecideyoudon’twantkids.Itdoesn’tmakeyou

afailureasawoman,andIdon’tthinkyoushoulddoubtthatOweniscrazybesottedwithyou.”

“You’vegottobekiddingme,”saidZarleyfromthedoorway,wearingworkoutclothing.Shewasan

excellentdiversion.

Carawavedherin.“Haveyousleptatall?
“Icrashedonthecouchinmyofficeforafewhours.”
“Byyourself?”Thisbigemptyplacewouldbescaryatnight.
“No,ReidshowedupwhenheknewIwasn’tgoingtomakeithome.Weneedabiggercouch.Once

weopenit’sgoingtobelikethat.He’llworkdays,I’llworknights.”Zarleylookedpensive.“WhatdidI
interruptotherthanyoubeinglittleMissDumbandDoubtfulaboutOwen?”

Bewilderedjoyandself-deprecatingfear.“Weddingdressprep,”Carasaid.
“Crisisofthefemaleheart,”saidSarina.“Thecanyouhaveitallargument.”
“Thedoyouevenwantitall,whateverthatmeans,”saidCara.
Zarleyyawned.“Samesamebutdifferent.Thisisaboutthehavingkidsthing.”Shecameintothe

roomandclimbedonthecuttingtabletositcrosslegged.“You’rerightaboutthistable.Notsolidenough
for—”

“Shutup,don’ttellmeyoutriedit.”
“Mischief.”Zarleyyawnedagain.“Iwasgoingtosaymischief.Andno,wetotallyrespectyour

space.”

Caracasthereyesaroundsuspiciouslyforanythingoutofplace.Nothingjumpedoutather.Butstill.

“We’retalkingReidheresothatstatementlackscred.”

“Andsodoesyoudoingthispoorme,I’mnotgoodenoughformymanroutine.”
“I’mnotsayingpoorme.I’msayingOwenwantskidsandIdon’tknowifIdoandI’mwonderingif

I’mbeingselfishtoholdontohimiftenyearsdownthetrackIstillfeelthesameway,andhefeelslike
he’smissedout.”Oh,thatwasdepressingtohearthatoutloud.Howwouldtheyevenlasttenyears
togetherwithoutstaggeringfromawoundlikethat?

“Ah.”Zarleyfrowned.“Okay,Igetthat.”
“PartofOwen’sdepressionwhenhelosthissexualfunctionwasthathavingkidsnaturallywasn’t

goingtobepossible.Itwasn’tcertainhecouldbeafather.Nowthat’snolongeraproblem.”Shelooked
upatthebeamsintheceilingbeforerefocusingonZarleyandSarina“I’mtheproblem.”

“It’sabigcall.”Zarleytippedherheadtothesideandstretchedherneck.“Lucky’sismybabyfor

now.Idon’tknowaboutthefuture.LastthingIwantedwhenIgotpregnantwastobeateenmombut
whenIlostthebaby,itwas...”Sherolledherheadforward,notsomuchpartofthestretchbutsothey
couldn’tseeherface.“Ineverwanttofeelthatbadagain.”Shestraightenedup,herexpressiongrim.Cara
knewallthis,butitwaslikelyanupdateforSarina.“Blamedmyselfforbeingstupidenoughtoget
pregnantandthrownofftheteam,thenblamedmyselfforlosingthebaby.”

Losingherbaby,hercareerasagymnastandherrelationship,hadsentZarleylookingfortrouble,

spelledsex,drugs,andalcoholuntilshe’dpulledherselfoutofthedownwardspiral,starteddancingat
Lucky’snights,andgoingtocollegeduringtheday.Carahadlookedoutforherwhenshewasbeing
scarilyirresponsibleandmarveledatherdeterminationtorebuildherlife.Forsomepeople,failurewas
likebeingbronzed.Itgavethemarmor.

“Reidmentioneditwhenhewashelpingmedecideonaspermdonor,buthetoldmeitwasyour

storytotell,”saidSarina.“Idon’tknowwhattosay,youweresoyoung.”

Zarleyresumedherstretching,butwithanonchalanceCaraknewshedidn’tfeel.“Nothingtosay.

Miscarriageshappentosomanywomen.Wedon’ttalkaboutit,likeit’snotarealthing,likeit’sbetter
nevertomentionit.It’sasifwehaven’tinventedtherightwords.Peoplewouldwhispertomeabouthow
luckyIwastolosethebaby,becausewhowantstobeateenmom,butDaltonandIwould’velovedthat
babyandtherewasnothingluckyaboutwhathappenedtous.”

Don’thaveakidyouwerecalledselfish,shallow,self-absorbed,butifyoumiscarried,youwere

ignored,expectedtosuckitupandgetonwithit.Whydidbeingawomanhavetobesuchano-winzone?

“I’mgladbeingayoungmomisgoingtobedifferentforAna,”Zarleysaid.
“Dev’sdadisstillnottotallyonboard,”saidSarina.“He’strying,butit’sallabithardonhim.”
ZarleyunfoldedherlegsandmovedbehindCara’sdesktolookatthequicksketchesshe’ddone

earlier.“IfmyfathercomesonSunday,itwillbethefirsttimewe’veseeneachotherinyears.Hethinks
I’maslutandthatI’mabouttoopenabrothel.”Zarleyshookherhead.“Sorry,youdidn’tneedtoknow
that.”Shepickedupasketch.“Ilikethis.”

SarinawenttoZarley’sside.“Solongasyoudon’tthinkyou’reaslutandI’mnotgettingmarriedin

abrothel.”

ZarleylaughedandhandedCarathesketchofafull-lengthfitteddress,withaV-neckandback,bell-

shapedsleeves.Simple,60sinfluence.Itwouldneedbeautifullacetobespecial.Sarinacouldwear
flowersinherhair.

“Ilikeittoo,”Sarinasaid.“It’selegant,kindoftimeless.”
“Itneedstherightfabric.”CaraelbowedZarleyasidesoshecouldgettoherlaptopandherkey

supplier’swebsite.Thisshecouldmanage.Orderthelace,makeapatterntoSarina’smeasurements,
createthedressandthefantasythatwentwithitandthenmoveontothenextproject.Evenifshedidn’t
loveit,shecouldbeprofessionalaboutit.That’snotthewayitworkedwithkids.Youhadnochoicebut
lovethemandtheywereaprojectthatneverended.

Overbreakfastthatmorning,Owenhadsaidthatifitwaslosingtimeawayfrombuildingher

businesstohavekidsshewasworriedabout,he’dbetheonetotaketimeout.He’ddothebulkofthe
child-rearing.She’dstaredathim,aspoonfulofyoghurtinhermouth,struckspeechlessbecausehewas
tryingsohardandbecausetimeoutwasn’ttheissue.Itwastheresponsibilityofbeingamotheratallthat
wasfreakingherout.

“WhatkindofdadisDevgoingtobe?”ZarleyaskedSarina.
“Awesome,”shesaid.“Wehaven’texactlytalkeditallout,buthe’llbethefatherwhowearsoneof

thosebabyharnessthingsandtotesthekidaround.”

“Socute,”Zarleysaid.“Icanseehimdoingthat.”
“He’llprobablybethefunparentwhileI’mthestickinthemud.”Sarinalaughed.
Owenwouldmakeagreatdadtoo.Hewascalmandpatientandpractical.Ifyoucouldorderupa

sideoffatherhood,Owenhadtheattributeswithextratopping.

“Owendidn’tseemuchofhismotherorfathergrowingup,andIknowthat’snothowhe’dwantto

raisekids,andIwanttoputoffthinkingaboutthis,butIknowthat’snotfairtohim.Whyisthissohard?
Otherpeopleseemtofallintoit,”Carasaid,awarehervoicehaddriftedhardintowhiningterritory.

“I’mnotfallingintoit.”Zarleymovedtowardsthedoortoleave.“Idon’tknowwhatkindofdad

Reidwouldmake.Heneverhadoneandhe’snotthemosttolerantperson.”Carascrunchedherface.Reid
andtolerancewerelikeicecreamandheat,notthebestcombinationwithoutpieinbetween.Whichmade
Zarleythepieinthatexample.

“Wemightendupbeingoneofthosecouplespeoplespeculateabout.Wonderwhen,wonderwhy

not.Idon’tknow.”Zarleyleanedonthedoorjamb.“Considermeonthefenceaboutit,andputReiddown
ascautiouslyterrified.”

“Ifyouaskme,notenoughpeoplethinkabouthavingkidsbeforetheydo.Youshouldhavetogeta

licenseforstartingafamily,”Sarinasaid.“Wedoitforcars,butwecan’tdoitforkids.Havingkidsisn’t
aonesizefitsalldecisionorelsewewouldn’thavesomanybrokenfamilies.Wewouldn’tthinkmenare
doingfinewhentheyhavemultiplemarriagesandkidswithdifferentpartnersandwomenaregold-
diggingscamartistsiftheydothesame.”

Zarleymadeawhoopingsound,butshemadeitlikeherbatterywasrunningdownandherwhoop

waswornout.“Thedoublestandardridesagain.We’reeithermothers,bitchesorwhores.”

Crotchsnaps,thatwasdepressinglikecouturethatwasugly.
“Yeah,butyouknowwhat,”Sarinasaid,“thethreeofusaredoingokay.Careersofourchoosing,

menwholoveandsupportus,timetodecidewhatcomesnext.”

“AweddingwithoutadressifIdon’tgettowork,”Carasaid.
ZarleytookofftocheckontheelectricalcontractorwhileSarinagotconfusedaboutdifferenttypes

oflace,butanhourlaterthey’dplacedanorderforagorgeouscreamycutlace,Sarinahadgonebackto
work,andCarahadstartedmakingthepattern.

Shewascuttingoutthepiecesforthesilkdressthatwentunderthelace,boppingitouttothe

soundtrackfromthepoledanceclassgoingonnextdoor,Rihanna’s“Work,”whenOwensaid,“I’vebeen
thinkingaboutyouallday,nothingisbetterthanseeingyou.”

“Whatareyoudoinghere?”Hishandswereatherwaistbeforeshefullyturnedtohim,stillholding

thescissors.“Issomethingwrong?”It’snotlikehedroppedinoften.

Heburiedhisfaceinherneckandranahandupherback,alongheroutstretchedarm,andtookthe

bladesoutofherhand,placingthemonthetablebehindher.“Gotitallwrongthismorninganddidn’t
wanttowaittoputitright.”

Whywasthatterrifying?“Everheardofthetelephone?”Hislipswereatworkandshehadto

concentratetoremembertherestofthesentence.“It’sthisamazingdevicethatletsyoutalktoanother
personwhenthey’renotinthesameroom.”Thatearnedherachuckleandanassgrab.“Idon’thavetime
tohangouttoday.”Andreally,thelastthingshewantedtodowasrevisitthediscussionthey’dhadover

breakfast.

“Iknow,Starburst.Ionlyneedfiveminutes.”Hepickedherupandputheronthetablesoshesat

nexttoapileofpatternpaperandarollofsilk,herlegsdangling.Theywereeyetoeyeandoncehe’d
maneuveredbetweenherthighsandcuppedherfacetostopherlookingdownatthepincushiononher
wrist,shewasinbigtrouble.Mother.Bitch.Whore.Shedidn’tseeherselfinthatarrangement.Ifshe
didn’twanttobeamotherandgiveOwenafamily,shewasautomaticallyabitch,whichleftwhoreasthe
otheralternative,awordforwhichtherewasnomaleequivalent,andthatjustmadeherangry.Hesensed
it.

“FiveminutesandI’moutofyourway,please.Idon’tblameyouforbeingmadwithme.”
“I’mnot.”Itwasn’thisfaulttherewasthispressure,thisweightofexpectationfromacompetition

thatwasstackedagainstherbygenderandhistoryandhardwiredsocialnorms.Itwasn’tOwen’sfault
noneofthesethingswereaconsiderationforaman;thatherbrotherGavinwasknowntotalkabout
babysittinghisownkids,asifitwasatemporaryoccupation.

“Here’sthething.”Hekissedherlightlyandreleasedherface.“Ifiguredyouwerecautiousabout

havingafamilyandthatwasareasonableresponse.Kids,youknow,it’snotlikethere’sapatentedrule
book.AndIgetthatmebeingreadyandyoubeingreadyaretwodifferentthingsandyouneededtime.We
havetime.”

“Owen.”Shewasn’tmadwithhim,buthewasmakinghernervous.
“I’mgettingthere.Fourminutes.Thenitwaspointedouttomehowunfairthewholehavingkids

thingisonwomen,howitwouldbeonyou,thetwenty-four-sevenexpectations.I’dneverthoughtaboutit
thatway,sothat’swhyItoldyouI’dbetheonewhotooktimeout.I’dbetheparentontheground,while
youdidyourthing.It’sonlyfair,I’vehadmyturntobuildacareer.ButIgotitwrong.That’snotwhat
you’reworriedabout,notwhatmadeyouchokeonyourpassionfruityoghurt,andmebeingonthe
midnightfeedorschoolpick-upisn’ttheissueisit?”

Shedidn’tfeelnervous.Shefeltlikeaprimedtimebomb.
Hewenton.“It’sbigger.It’sthedifferencebetweenbeingCara,whocandecidehowherlife

happens,andbeingamomwhohasresponsibilities,evensharedones,thatareallaboutsomeoneelse’s
safetyandhealthanddevelopment.”

Tick,tick,tick,they’darrivedatselfish.“Therearealotofchildrenwithoutgoodhomes.”
“Wecouldadopt.You’retheonewhoshowedmethereweremorewaystobeadadthangettingyou

pregnant.Iwassofocusedonmenotbeingableto,Ididn’tstoptothinkabouthowI’dfeelifyoucouldn’t
havekids.Andthere’stheconcernaboutwhatbeingpregnantmightdotoyourback.Pregnancyisn’t
alwayskindtoawoman’sbody,butIdon’tthinkthat’syourissueeither.”

Tick,tick,tick,nowtheywereatshallow.Shewasn’tworriedaboutfertilityorpain,wreckingher

body,orbringingkidsintoanuncertainworld.“There’snotimeoffinbeingaparent.Youcan’tdoitone
dayandthennotthenext.Youcan’tloseinterest,ordoabadjob,andIdon’tknow,Idon’tknow.These
thingssoundsosuperficial,butIdon’thavethatmaternalthing.Ilikekids.Ilovemynephews,butIdon’t
knowifthat’senough.”

“Idon’tknoweither,Starburst.Ialwayswantedmyownfamily,neveroccurredtomenottowant

kids,butyou’reright,wantingisn’tthesameasdoing.Idon’tknowifallguysfeelthesamethough.Dev
suredoes.MentionfatherhoodtoReidintheabstractandhe’sgotplentytosay,butaskhimaboutbeinga
fatherhimselfandsuddenlyhe’smadeofhesitancyandRiceKrispies.”Owengrinned.“OnlytopicI’ve
everseenhimrattledby.”Herubbedhisknuckleslightlyoverhercheekbone.“That’showyoufeelisn’t
it?”

Tick,tick,self-absorbed.Andthefirsttimeevershe’dagreedwithReid,andithadtobeover

somethingaspersonalasparenthood.

“Youfeellikeitwouldmakeyouawholedifferentpersoncalledmom.”

Hegotit.Herhandsome,toogoodtobetrue,lovingmanunderstood.Sheleanedherfaceintohis

openhand.Shedidn’tknowhowhe’dgottentowhereshewasstrugglingtogettoherself.Butthatwasit.
TherewasCaraandtherewasCarawhowasamomfirstandherselfsecondandshedidn’tknowifshe
wantedtobethatotherperson.

Hekissedhertemple.“Now,that’showyoufeelnow.”
Tick,tick.“Idon’tknowwhatwouldmakemefeeldifferently.”Sheputherfingertiptohislipsto

stophimprotesting.Tick,tick.“Mymomwasonlyayearolderthanmewhenshedied.Shehadthreekids
andsheprobablywantedtodootherthingswithherlife.Shenevergotthechance.”

Owentriedtowrapherinahug,butsheheldhimoffbothhandspressedtohischest,herelbows

locked.“Wewantdifferentthings.It’snotfairtoyou.”

“We’llworkitout.”Hewentforhispocketandsheknewhewantedhisphone.
“Owen,don’t.”Sheknewwhathewasgoingtosay,whathewasgoingtodo.
“Iloveyou.Youcomefirst.”
Tick,tick.Whatiftherewasn’tasecondplace?Hewouldcallherfather.Hewouldgetdownonhis

kneeandaskhertomarryhim,andshecouldn’tbeartohearit.Itwasnolongeraboutnotyet,howcould
itbe?

“No.”
Tick.Boom.

EIGHT

Dev

Smack.Ah.Pillowtotheface.Devcoppedamouthfulofstiffcottonandthenstumbledthroughthedoor,
onlytohaveAnahithimagainbeforehecouldvoiceacomplaint.

Whack.“Wherehaveyoubeen?”Whack.“What’sgoingonwithyou?”
“Stop,Ana.Letme—”
Shehithimagain,buthemanagedtodropthegroceriesandgrabthepillowtostopherreloading.

“QuithittingmeandI’lltellyou.”

Shetriedtotugthepillowoutofhishands.“Youcan’ttakeofflikethatandnotgivemeanymore

thanseeyouinafewdaysasareason.”

“LasttimeIlooked,Iwasanadultandyou—merechildwithchild—werelivinginmyapartment.I

don’treporttoyou.”

Shewrenchedthepillowaway.“Yes.You.Do.Iwasworried.”
HebenttocollectthegroceriesandspottedConnoracrosstheroom,watchingthemwithamusement.

Dudecould’vedoneasolidandsteppedin.Butthenagain,lasttimeConnortriedtointerveneonAna’s
behalfhegotablackeyeforhistrouble,sogooddecision.“No,youweren’t.”

“Look,Idon’tknowhowyoulivedbeforeImovedin,butsinceIgotpregnantyou’vekeptmein

touchwithwhatyou’reupto.Youfreakingdisappeared,Dev.WhatamIsupposedtothink?”

Heeye-rolled.“ThatI’matworkorwithSarina.”
“Iknewwhereyouwere.Iwanttoknowwhatyouweredoing?”
Didn’teveryone.“WhendidMomdieandmakeyouhersuccessor?”NotthatMomhadeverbeenup

inhisbusiness,butitgotAnatobackoffontheviolence.Shewasaslethalwithapillowasshewaswith
thewillowofacricketbat.

Anaflungthepillowontothecouchandleadthewayintothekitchen.“Tellmebeforetheyallget

here.”

Itwasanhouratleastbeforetherestofthefamilygotthere.Connortookthegroceriesfromhimand

unpackedthemontothebenchandDevfacedoffwithAna.Heregoes.“Sarinaispregnant.”

Ana’shandswenttohermouth,butshestillverbalizedan,“Ohwow.”
Waitforit.“Thebabyismine.”
“What?”Itcameoutlikeabark,becauseshedidn’tgetherhandsoutofthewayquicklyenough.
Bestforlast.“We’regettingmarriedSunday.”
Thesilenceofdeepspace.AnastaredathimwitheyesthesizeofSaturnandConnorfrozeintheact

ofdockingthecrèmefraîcheintherefrigerator.Andtheywerethepre-testaudience.Thebetateamwould
beblownaway.

“Well?”
Connorrecoveredfirst,pattinghimontheback.“That’swild.That’slike...fast.”
Itreallywasn’t.It’dbeencomingforaverylongtime,butthat’showeveryoneelsewouldseeit.
“Ana?”Ohbrilliant,shewascrying.“Ana?”
Connorwenttoher,butsheshovedhimawayandblubberedsomethingthatsoundedlike,“I’mso

happyforyou,”beforescootingaroundtheislandbenchandbarrelingintohim.

That’swhenRaniwalkedin,noearlywarning,becausethey’dleftthefrontdooropen.“Whatdid

youdotoAna,Dev?”

“Me?”
RanilookedatConnor.“Hewouldn’tupsetherlikethat.”
“Nothing.Ididn’tdoanythingtoAna.She’sfine.”ButAnawasdoinganimpressionofmywhole

familygotkilledinaplanecrash,soRanislammedthefrontdoorandadvancedonthem.

“Youdidsomething.Isshesick?Ana,areyousick?”
ConnorrelievedhimofAna.“She’sfine,”hesaid.
“Thenit’syou,”Ranipointedathim.“Areyousick,Dev?IsPlusbust?Isthatwhywe’veallbeen

invitedtodinnerallofasudden?Ithastobesomethingbad.”

“He’spregnant,”Anasobbedout.
DevflappedhisarmswhileRanilookedfromhimtoAna,withhermouthopen.“Sarinaispregnant,

soI’mpregnanttoo.”

“Youwereherspermdonor?”
“Inamannerofspeaking.”
“ThisisgoingtoblowthetopofDad’sheadoff.”
ThefourofthemconsideredthatandthenDevsnappedto.“IgotSarinapregnant.We’rehavinga

babyandwe’regettingmarried.”

“OnSunday,”Anachimedin.
RanididTheExorcist-inspiredheadswivelagain.“Haveyouallgonemad?Whenyousayyougot

herpregnant,whatexactlydoyoumean?”

“Sheesh,whatdoyouthinkImean?”
Shestaredathim,twobrightspotsofcoloronhercheeks.“YoupokedSarina’sbearandmadea

cub.”

“What?”
“YouputtadpolesinSarina’spondandmadeasprog.Youputyourpeckerinherbird’snestandlaid

anegg.”

“Seriously?”
“YouputyourdickinSarinaandmadeababy.”
“Rani.”HesnuckalookatConnor.Thiswouldbethefirsttimehe’dbeentodinnerwiththefamily;

ifhecouldstickbyAnawhilethePatel’smelteddownforthesecondtimeinasmanymonthssinceAna
announcedshewaspregnant,therewasachancehecouldgothedistance.

“Iwanttobeperfectlyclearwhatwe’retalkingabouthere,”Ranisaid.
“IloveSarina.HavedonesinceStanford.Wehadsex,ordinarypeoplesex.Shegotpregnant.We’re

gettingmarriedonSunday.Howisthatunclear?”

Ranithumpeddownonakitchenstoolandopenedhermouthtoprotestbutallthatcameoutwas

laughter.Anditwascontagioustothepointthattheywereallcryingadifferentkindoftears.Eventually
Ranisaid,“Shotgunwedding,”andthatstartedthemoffagain.Atthisrate,Devwouldneverhaveameal
organizedintime.

HestartedputteringaboutwithpansandthehotplateandRaniaskedaboutShush.“Doessheknow?

Youcan’tlanditonhersametimeaseveryoneelse.”

Atthisratehemightaswellsetupinhisofficeandhaveeachextendedfamilymembercometohim

fortheirindividualentertainment.He’dtriedtogetholdofShushearlier,butshewasn’tansweringher
phoneanditwasn’tthekindofthingyouleftonamessage.“IfIcanpullherasidewithoutafuss,I’lltry,
butyouknow,Shushandmewereneverreallyathing.”Exceptforamonthorsowhentheyhadbeenkind
ofathing.

“Yousleptwithher.”
“Anditwas...”Hewasgoingtosay,wrong,butitwasn’twrong,somuchasbadlytimedand

awkward.It’dbeenfun,buthisflingwithShushhadbeenadistractionandhadsignaledtoSarinathathe

wasoffthemarket,sendingherintothemuscledarmsofthecheeseman,andtheseductionofReid’s
spermselectiondatabase.Histhroattightenedthinkingaboutit.“ShushandIaregood.”Hedidn’texactly
gofromShush’sbedtoSarina’swithoutthought,butitmightlooklikethattoShushandherparents,
TavishandNita.

He’dplannedtofeedeveryoneintoastuporandthenlandthenewsontheminoneswoop,invite

themtothewedding,andthensendthemhometodigestitallintheprivacyoftheirownhomes.

Idiot.
Trainwreck.
Itwasnevergoingtohappenthatway.
“Shutupwheneveryoneelsearrives,okay.”
RanisnortedsoAnakickedher.Heavenhelphim.Thenthetwoofthemactedliketheywerehigh

whentheirparents,andTavishandNitaarrived.DadrefusedtosayAna’sname.Connorkeptwellaway
fromDadafterhegotasinglenodingreeting,Shushsentatexttosayshe’dbelateandtostartwithout
her,andDevhadneverbeensogladSarinasuggestedhedothisalone.Itwasakindoftorturetherewas
nonamefor.Slowdeathfromfamilyweird-out;suffocationbyparentalexpectation.

Theygotthroughthestarterwithalotofwildeyesandpeoplesaying,“What?”andwhenShushstill

hadn’tarrivedandthetensionwasatfirstmanevertogetmorningsickness,atnight,Devtappedhisglass
forattention.

“Abouttime,”Dadmuttered.
“Whatisit?”saidMom.
“Nothingtodowithme,”saidAna.
“Orme,”saidRani.
Hegavehissistersthenothelpingglareandclearedhisthroat.“Youknowmypartner,Sarina.”This

wasmoreforTavishandNita’sbenefit.

“Oh,Dev,didsomethingterriblehappen?”saidMom.
“No,no.Letmegettoit.”
“IssheleavingPlus?”saidDad.“Thatwouldnotbegood.”
“She’spregnant.”
ThedoorbellwentandAnagotuptoletShushin.Therewasthatinevitablechatterandmovement

thathappenedwhenapersonwhowaslatearrived.AnaservedShushherstarter,morewinewaspoured.
NoonementionedSarina.Connorgavehimanohdude,sosorrylook.

Shushsaid,“WhathaveImissed?”
Devclearedhisthroat.Taketwo.“AsIwassaying,Sarinaispregnant.”
“Yes,yes,gettothereasonwe’rehere,”saidDad.
“Keepingyouuppastbedtime,yaar,Vik,”saidTavish.
Anagiggled,whichmadeTavishbeam.Noneofthiswasfunny.“Sarinaispregnantandit’smy—”

Hisphonerangfromsomewhereinthelivingroom.

“Mypleasuretocookthemostexcellentmealformyfamily,”saidTavish.Themanthoughthewas

ComedyCentral.

“Nomorewine,Tavish,”saidNita.
Thetablefellsilentandtheyalllistenedtohisringtone.TheEagles,“WitchyWoman.”Hewinced.

“Letitgo.”ItwasSarinaandifhelivedthroughthishe’ddescribetheordealtoherinpainstakingdetail
later.Wait.Heshotoutofhischair.ItwasSarinaandshewaspregnant.“Ishouldgetthat.”

Hisphonewasonthecoffeetable.Hetookitdownthehalltohisofficeandhitcallback.
“Hi,howdiditgo?”shesaid.
“Er,stillgoing.”
“Whatwasthereaction?”

“WhenIsaystillgoing,whatImeanisIhaven’ttoldthemyet.”
Sarinalaughed.“OhDev.It’sthatbad.”
“No,no,it’sjustIkeepgettinginterrupted.”
“AndIinterrupted.”
“Iwasgoingtoletyourcallgo,butthenIrememberedyou’repregnantandyoumightneedmeand

therewasnowayIwasleavingyouhanging.AndbythewayIhaveprobablyneverlovedyoumorefor
suggestingIdothisalone.Itwould’vebeenacruel,cruelthingtosubmitthewomanIadoreto.”

Shemadeahappyhummingnoise.“IhopeyouknowhowdesperatelyIcraveyou,gorgeousman.”
Wow.Hesatonthecouchbecausehislegsdidn’tfeelallthatsteadyandhedidn’twanttogoback

intothediningroom.“Couldyousaythatagain?Imighthavemisunderstood.”

“DevPatel,Iloveyoudesperately,utterly,completely,withoutreservation,througheveryhardship,

aroundeveryobstacle,inspiteofanyinterference,tillIamcoldanddeadandburied.PSIwanttodie
beforeyoubecauseIcannotstandtobewithoutyou.”

Histhroathadgottentightbefore.Hewaschokingonemotionnow.“Havetoseeyoutonight.Be

thereinacoupleofhours.”

“Noyoudon’t.YouhavetobewithyourfamilyandI’mgoingtobednow.I’mexhausted.I’llseeyou

tomorrow.”

“I’llbetherewhenyouwakeup.”Tomakesureshewasn’taloneonthebathroomfloor.
“Youdon’thavetodothat,”shesaidsoftly.
“SarinaGallo,Iloveyouendlessly,impossibly,ridiculously.Youaresomuchbetteratthisthanme,

butyes,we’regoingtoneedadeathpactbecausethereisnolightintheworldformewithoutyouandthe
leastIcandowhenyouvomitisbetheretoflush.”

Hegotbackabreathywhimperandforawhiletheyjustheldonlisteningtoeachotherbreatheuntil

shesaid.“Isyourfamilywaiting?”

“Yeah.”Hecouldhearthemtalking,laughing,atipsyTavishtheloudest.
“Goinvitethemtoourwedding.”
Herangoffandwentbacktothediningroom.AnaandRanihadsteppedintoservethenextcourse.
“Everythingallright?”askedMom.
Itwasmiraculous.Itwasastounding.Itwasfrighteninghowclosehe’dcometoscrewingeverything

up.“Sarinaispregnantwithourbabyandwe’regettingmarriedonSunday.”

Allhellbrokeloose.
No,no,itdidn’t.
Talkaboutananticlimax.Theonlysoundwassomeone’sknifeclatteringonaplate.Eightpeople

madefishfacesathim,includingAna,ConnorandRani;whatwasupwiththat?

“Noonehasanythingtosay?”
ThenextsoundwasShush’schairtippingtothefloorassheshotupfromthetableandmadetoward

him.Hebraced.Shelookedupsetandgettingwhackedwithapillowmightbetheleastoftheviolence
he’dexperiencetonight.“Shush.”

Sheflungherselfinhisarmssohardhestaggered.“I’msohappyforyou,”shesaid.
“Youare?”Shewascryingherealized,wetnessonhisneck.
Shepulledaway.“OfcourseIam,dummy.We’refriends,we’refamily.I’mgoingtobeanaunty.”
Hehuggedherback.“You’llbeanexcellentaunty,”andwhenshelethimgoitwastomoveinto

Mom’sembrace.“Iloveher,Mom.”

“Youwillbesohappytogether,”shesaid.“Youmakemesohappy.”
Hemight’veheldontoMomalittletoolong,becauseTavishandNitawerelaughingwithShushand

Rani,andAnaandConnorweremovingdishesbackintothekitchen,butthere’dnotbeenasoundfrom
Dad.

“Don’tworryabouthim,”Momsaid,pullingaway,“He’llbefine.”
ThisDevhadtosee,becausehisusuallygenerous,gregariousDadhadnotbeenfineaboutAna’s

pregnancy,aboutConnor’spresenceinherlife,towhichablackeyewastestimony,andabouthisown
declarationhelovedSarinaandintendedtobetheretohelpwithherdonorbaby.Insteadoffine,he’d
beeninsultingandintractable,saidSarinawasunsuitable,becauseshehadahippiefamily,andstill
treatedAnawithpoliteformalityinsteadofshowingacceptanceandsupport.

“Well,Dad?”Werehiseyeswet?Hestoodawayfromthetable,silentandaloneuntilAnaplanted

herselfinfrontofhimandallthechatterandmovementstopped.

“You’dbetterbeokaywiththis,Dad.You’dbetter,becauseDevdidalltherightthings.Andevenif

thisisashotgunwedding,he’slovedSarinaforyearsandnothingelseismoreimportantthanfamily,”she
said.

“Ihearyou,daughter,”Dadsaid.
“Ana.MynameisAna.”
MomtensedbesideDevandheputhisarmaroundherandwhispered,“Lethergo.”Anahadthings

tosayandthecouragetosaythem.

Shespreadherhandoverherbelly,nowstartingtoround,butdidn’ttakeherfocusoffDad.“I’m

havingababywithConnoranditwasn’twhatweplannedbutit’shappeningandyoucan’tkeepignoring
it.Everyoneelsegotoveritexceptyou.Getoverit,Dad.Dealwithit.Stopshuttingmeout.Stopbeing
awfultoMom.StopbeingabastardtoConnor.TellDevyoulovehimandyou’reproudofhim.”

Dadopenedhismouth,shutit.Hiseyeswereredandshiny.Hepassedahandoverhisfaceandthen

hecrumpledforward,reachedforAna,sayinghernameoverandover.Analethimfoldherintoahug,
softeningintohisgripwithaloudsob,asRanisaid,“Thankallthedamngods,”andafewsecondslater
DadstoodinfrontofDev,withAnatuckedunderhisarmandhisfacewetwithtears.

“IloveyouandIamproudofyou,Dev.”HeheldahandupandDevclaspedit.“WhatIsaidabout

Sarina,thatwaswrong.Shehasbeenyourfriendyourwholeadultlife.Shewillbeawonderfulwifeand
mother.”

“I’mgladyouthinkso,Dad.”
Dad,squeezedAnaandturnedhertofacehim.“HowItreatedyou,Ana,thatwaswrong.Whenyou

neededyourparents,IabandonedyouandIamashamedaboutthat.Iapologizetoyou.”

“Iforgiveyou,”Anasaid.“Mybabyneedsagrandpa.”
DadlookedatConnor,who’dsensiblykeptthetablebetweenthem.“Iapologizetoyou,Connor,for

myrudeness.”

Anaelbowedhim.“Andforpunchinghim.”
“Andforpunchingyou.”Dadshookhishead.“Ihaveneverhitanyoneinmylife.IthoughtIbrokemy

handandLeelatoldmetofindsomeoneelseforsympathybecauseshedidn’thaveanyspare.”Helooked
toMom.“Leela,Iapologizetoyouforbeingadisrespectfulhusband.Imadeyouchoosebetweenmeand
ourdaughterandthatwascowardly.Ipromisenottomakeyouregretmarryingmeagain.”

“Idon’tregretmarryingyou,Vik.We’regoingtobegrandparents,”saidMom.
DadturnedtoTavish,NitaandShush.“Iwasabadfriend,pleaseforgiveme.”
“Solongasyou’renotbadgrandpa,”saidTavish,andNitahithimonthearmwhileeveryone

groaned.

“What?”hesaid,“It’samovie.Afunnymovie.Oh,isitDirtyGrandpa?Don’tbedirtygrandpa,Vik,

yaar.”

“Dad?”Shushhissed,“Bequiet.”
“It’sdon’tmesswithgrandpa,”saidConnor,makingMomcoverhermouthandDad’sbrowsjump.

Thiswasthefirsttimehe’dspokenupandAnabeamedathim.Livingdangerously.

“Tea,”saidRani.“I’mmakingtea.”

InDev’spocket,hisphonebuzzed.Whileeveryonechattered,pickedatfood,movedabout,he

lookedatthescreen.Sarina’swisewomancartoonavatar,andbesideitthewords:Deliciously,
deliriously,determinedlyinlovewithyou.Can’twaittomarryyou.Ifyouarecominginthemorning,
pleasebringmoresorbet.

Shotgun,andstilltheweddingdaycouldn’tcomesoonenough.

NINE

Zarley

Barefoot,Zarleypacedheroffice.Infifteenminutes,shehadtoputhershoeson.Intwenty,shehadto
briefthenewpermanentandtemporarystaff.Inanhour’stime,theweddingguestswouldstartarriving.
BytheendofthenightDevandSarinawouldbemarried,Lucky’swould’vebeenputthroughthepacesof
asoftopeningandanewphaseofherlifewouldhavebegun.

“You’regoingtoweararutinthatfloor.”
SheglancedatReid,seatedonhercouch.Heneverthoughtabouthowhelookedanditwasn’toften

heworeasuitandshecouldn’taffordthetimetotrulyappreciatehowincrediblyfinehelookedinit.No
tie,buttheshirtwascrispperfection,withFrenchcuffsandsilvercufflinks,andthecharcoalpantsdida
greatjobofemphasizinghislonglegs,oneofwhichheextendedtostopherprogress.

“What’stheworstthatcouldhappen?”hesaid.
Fire,flood,electrocution,plagueoflocusts.Notenoughalcohol,poorlybriefedstaff,stuff-upsinthe

kitchen,rubberychicken,toofishyfish,wrongchoiceofmusic.Anowner-managerwhodidn’thaveany
priorexperienceatthis.Thelistwasendless.

Reidreachedforher.“Fuckhim,Zarley.”
Shesqueezedhishand.“I’mnotworriedaboutthat.”IfDaddidn’tshow,therewasnothingshecould

doaboutit,andwhenMomcalledtosayshe’dcheckedintothehotelshedidn’tmentionDad,sothatwas
that.Fuckhim.

“Youdon’tneedhim.”
Herfatherhadcheckedoutofherlifealongtimeago.Itwasfinebyherifhedidn’twanttocheck

backin.“TheonlyoneIneedisyou.”AndhowwasthatgoingtogowhenReidworkeddaysandshe
workednights,whenherweekendwasMonday.Whenwastheregoingtobeenoughtimeforthem?

“AndIwon’tgetinDalton’sface,”hesaid,thelineofhislipstellingherhowmuchhedisliked

makingthatpromise.

HeroldsweetheartmightgetinReid’s.“Ididn’tthinkhe’dcome.”They’dmeshedtheweddingguest

listwiththeoriginalsoftopeningguestlistandshe’dhesitatedtoaddDalton,butnowshewasgladshe’d
doneit.“It’sbeensolong.”

“I’llbenice.It’sawedding.Besides,myMomwillbehereandshe’llhurtmeifImisbehave

tonight.”

Spatsbetweentheguests.Thatwasanotherthingthatcouldgowrong.ShepulledawayfromReid,

buthestoodandbody-blockedher.Hesmelledwonderful,somethingwarmandspicythatwasnew.She
wantedtowrapherarmsaroundhimandstoptheclock,preventitfromdeliveringhertothetimewhen
they’dbepulledsourgentlyindifferentdirections.Shewasjitteryandhefeltitwithhandscurvingover
herhipstopullherintohischest.

“Flygirl,Isthisstagefright?”
Itwasadrenaline.Itwasthathot,brainbright,toojangledmomentbeforeyouwentonstage,before

youcommitted,whentherewasnothingmoreyoucoulddobutgoforit.Anythingcouldgowrong,butthat
waspartofthethrill.Itwasheightenedawareness,sharpenedreflexesandbeingtunedupto
incandescent.Shelovedthismoment.She’dlivedforitasagymnastandasaperformer.There’dbeenno
betterhighinherlifeuntilshe’dmetReid.

“Ifeelgreat.”

Exceptfifteenminuteswasalmostup.Itwasalmostshowtime,andontheothersideofthisnightand

allitpromised,livedtherealfear;notseeingDaltonagainaftersolong,notbeingslightedbyherfather,
notlocustsorrunawaybridesorfoodpoisonedguestsandgoof-offstafforfaultyplumbing.

ShestoodonReid’sshinyshoesonhertoesandtippedherfaceup.Shehadexactlywhatshewanted,

herownbusinessandamanwhoexcitedher,wholookedather,touchedherwiththeforceofhowhe
lovedherinhishandsandeyes.

Butwhatifthethingsshewantedmostturnedouttobeincompatiblewiththelifethey’dmade?It

wouldtakepatienceonReid’spart,andthatwasn’tsomethinghewasfamousfor.Itwouldtakestrength
andflexibilityonhers,andshehadthoseattributestoburn.She’dfindawayifitmeantshegaveupsleep
todoit.

ShekissedthathopeintoReid’smouth,messinghishairandcreasinghisshirt,ruiningherlipstick,

butitwasworthitforthesatisfiedsoundhemade,thewayhewantedtocrushhercloser.

Hedidn’tknowshewasperforminglater.She’dkeptthatasecret.She’dmissedhertimeinthe

spotlightandshewastakingitback.Reid’sfavoriteboothnolongerexisted,butlater,whenthebrideand
groomdepartedwithstarsintheireyes,andtheguestshadbeenshownthedoor,whenthestaffhad
cleanedupandclockedoff,shehadadatewiththismanonanantiquebartop,wherenothingwouldcome
betweenthem.

Shepulledawayfromhimreluctantly.She’dbetoobusytospendtimewithhimfortherestofthe

night.“Ineedto—”

“Fixyourlipstick,”hesaid,wipinghismouth.“Andonceyoudothat,onceyouputyourshoeson,I

loseyouforthenight.”

Shefrowned.Didhemeananythingbythat?Itwasn’tonlyherperformanceshe’dkeptfromhim.

He’dbrushedoffeveryfearshe’dhadforrebuildingLucky’s,moreconfidentinherabilitiesthanshe
was.Ifshetoldhimshewasworriedabouttheimpactofherjobontheirrelationship,he’dhavedeniedit
wasanissue.Butthen,he’dmadeacareeroutofblastingobstaclesinhiswayintodust.Itwassomething
shestillhadtolearnfromhim.Sorightnow,thisanxietywashersalonetoworkthrough.

“Youwon’tmissme.You’llbebusytoo.Youhavebestmanduties,remember.”
HepattedhispocketwheresheknewhehadtheringsDevbought.“IalwaysmissyouwhenIcan’t

seeyou,Flygirl.”

“Ah,stopit,orI’llhavetofixmyeyesaswell.”Itmustbeweddingfeveraffectingthemboth.It’d

causedOwenandCaratohaveablow-up,andnowitwasmakingReidsaymushythings.

Sheslippedintothebathroomoffherofficeandfixedhermakeup,steppedintohershoesandwhen

shecamebackoutside,Reidhadhissuitcoaton.Heturnedtoherandshewantedtosmashtime,slamthe
doorandstripthembothtotheirthuddingheartbeats,butthatwouldhavetowait.

“Youlookgorgeous.”Heshiftedhisheat-filledlooktothedoorwayandshelaughedathowinsync

theywere.

Sheworeasilversatinsheathdresswithblackbeadworkandafringedhem.AllofherandVi’s

workclothingwasJazz-Ageinspired,aswerethestaffuniforms.They’dbeenCara’sbestcustomer.The
newLucky’sowednothingtoitsdivebarorigins,classyalltheway.

“Wecan’tmakeouteverytimewe’reinmyoffice.”
“Spoilsport,”hesaid,offeringhisarm.
TheywentdownstairstogetherandshelostReidtobriefingstaff,checkinginwiththekitchen,

supervisingthetablesettingsandmeetingwiththehouseDJ.

Thebargleamed,allthetablelampshadbeenlit,thekitchenwassteaming,thewelcomedrinkswere

readytopour,andEllaFitzgeraldsang“TheManILove”whenZarleytookaminutetostandwithViand
surveythescene.Viworeamossgreendrop-waisteddressthathadadeepVattheback,withasilver
fabricroseathershoulder.Shehadsmudgyeyemakeupthathadnothingtodowithartandeverythingto

dowiththeemotionofthemoment.

“Wedidit,”shesaid,takingZarley’shands.“Louwouldbeamazed.”
Louwouldbedrinkingstraightfromabottleifhecouldseehisdivebarreincarnatedasasexytake

onaspeakeasy.“Neverthoughtwe’dbesoftopeningwithawedding.”

Unexpectedly,ithadgiventhestaffabuzz.Itwasn’tanyopeningnightandeveryonethey’dhired

knewitwaspersonaltoZarley.Youcouldseeitinthecareandattentiontheybroughttobearandhow
theytoleratedCarapokingatthem,adjustingbracesandwaistcoats,fedorasandfeatherheadbands.

Forsomeonewho’dbeenuptilltheearlyhoursfinishingSarina’sdress,Caralookedamazingina

veryshort,fringedflapperdressinasoftmauvecolor.She’dteameditwithaclochehatsheinsistedwas
stayingonallnightbecausehathairwasnothappeninginpublic.

Sarinawascurrentlyupstairs,dressing,havingarrivedwithRoandhermombythebackentrance.
“Breakaleg,”saidVi,asshemovedtothedoortowelcomethefirstguestswhohappenedtobethe

girlsfromLucky’solddancecrew:Kathryn,LizabethandTherese.PouringinbehindthemwasDev’s
youngestsisterAnawiththreefriends.TheoneholdingherhandhadtobeConnor.ThensomefolkZarley
didn’tknowbysight,butReiddidsohetookcareofthem.Hewasfreebythetimehismomarrived,but
ZarleyonlyhadeyesforDalton.

Herhometownsweetheart,herfirstlove,greetedViwithabigsmileandsteppedintotheroomwith

ageewhizexpressionthatmadeZarley’spulsekick.Therewasnosignofalimp,nosignoftheanger
that’dmarkedhimafterhisarmyserviceandinjury.Theyearspeeledbackandsherememberedthe
unravelingexcitementofherfirstkiss,thetimesthey’dsnuckoutofwindowstobetogetherandthe
summerthey’dbecomeeachother’sfirstforsomanyritesofadulthood.Ifthingshadturnedout
differently,shewouldbewithDaltonnowandthey’dhaveaschool-agechild,maybemorethanone.
She’dneverhaveexperimentedwithtoomuchalcoholorflirtedwithdrugs,hadtoomuchsexthatwas
aboutbeingangryandlostandtryingtoforget.She’dneverhaveturnedtopoledancingforthemoneyto
fundschool,ormetVi.

Daltonfoundherbeforeshehadachancetoreact,nearlyknockingoverawaiterwithatrayofdrinks

onhiswaytoher,grabbingthewaiter’sarm,steadyinghistrayandgabblingapologies.

“Youlook...Aw,hell,Zarley.”Hisfingerswenttohislipsasifhewastryingtocoachthewords

out.Hehadthetannedskinofafarmer,theroughhands.Buthelookedgood.Helookedliketruelovetoo
young,andtheworstkindofheartbreak,butwhenhesmiledather,itfeltlikeanothermilestone.They’d
survived.They’dbothrebuilttheirlives.

WithoutlosingDalton,she’dneverhaveshovedadesperatelysickReidinacabandtakenhim

home,tohispalatial,hadtobeadrugdealer,hadnofurnitureapartment.NeverhavebeenReid’sfirstfor
alltheritesofadulthoodhe’ddeniedhimself.Neverhavefalleninlovewithhim.Neverwonabusiness
loan,orhadthecouragetotakeontherelaunchofLucky’s.

“Youcame.”
“Wouldn’thavemissedit.CanIhugyou?”
Shesteppedintohisspaceandhebear-huggedherboisterouslyoffherfeet.EverythingDaltondid

wasdonewithenthusiasm,includingthewayheflushedtohisearswhenherealizedhe’dbeenalittle
overzealous.

Heputherdownandtookintheroom.“Damnimpressive,thisplace.Youdidgood.”
“It’snotallme.Ihaveabusinesspartner.”
“LasttimeIsawyou,Zar,wewerebothinabadplace.Meansalottometoknowyou’redoingso

well.”

“Andyou?”Hedeservedtobehappy,afterthem,afterhistourofduty,thelandmineandlosinghis

foot.

“I’mdoingokay.Thefarmisminenow.Dadretired.I’mhappy.”

“Anyonehelpingyoubehappy?”shefished.
Heshookhishead.“YouknowwhatNiceislike.LakeCounty,smalltownnowhere.Lottapeople

wanttosetmeup,butthere’snooneI’minterestedin.”Hearinghimsaythatmadehersadforhim.He
neverwantedtojoinup,he’dneverwantedtoleaveNice.He’dwantedherandafamilyandthey’dbeen
tooyoungtohandletheconsequencesofallthat.

“Yourmanhere?”
ShelookedaroundforReidandspottedhimstandingwithhismomandPluschairmanAdnan

Kuchnitskiandhiswife,ignoringthemandtryingtoevaporateDaltonwithhislaser-beameyes.Probably
notthetimetointroducethem.Andsinceshespottedherownmom,standingnervouslyalonewitha
champagnecocktail,whichshenodoubthadwantedtorefusebutwastooembarrassedto,shehadbetter
usesforDalton.Shetookhisarm,andtogethertheygreetedMom.

“Zarley,youlookbeautifulandthisplace,it’sunbelievable.”
MomworethedressZarleyhadsenther.Formalenoughshe’dnotfeeloutofplace,butnottooover

thetoptoweartochurch.“Youlookbeautifultoo,Momma.”Shemotionedtoawaitressandswitchedout
Mom’scocktailforOJ.“Thankyouforcoming.”

“Yourdad,he—”
ShehuggedMom,thefamiliarscentofherlavenderperfumemakingZarleysqueezetight.“Don’t

worryabouthim.I’mgladyou’rehere.”Shepulledawaybeforeregretathowinfrequentlytheysaweach
otherhookedtoodeep.

“AndDalton,youdocleanupnice,”Momsaid.
Daltonbuzzedhercheek.“Thankyou,Tricia.Mindyoutellmymomwhenyouseehernext.”
Sheleftthemthen,knowingDaltonwouldlookoutforMom,andinstructedahostesstodiscreetly

removetheplacenamelaidforherfather,replacingitwithKathryn’s,andwonderingifseatingthe
gorgeousex-poledancerturnedchiropractornexttothepeachfarmerfromNicecouldpossiblylighta
spark.

Shehadgooduseforagroomaswell,buttherewasnosignofDev,orOwenwhowasarrivingwith

him.Dev’sparentswerehere,hissisterRani,andhisfriendShushandherparents.Owen’ssisterBrooke
washereandapileofpeoplefromPlusCaraknew,butnoOwenandimportantly,noDev.

ShemadeforReid,whostoodwithSarina’sparents,andmotionedhimaside.“HaveyouseenDev?”

Heshoulddefinitelybeherebynow.

Reidwouldn’tlookather,eyesflittingoverthefullroom.“Yourdaddidn’tshow.”
“ItoldyouIdon’tcareabouthim.”Shetouchedhischest,therewassomethingmorethanangerwith

herfatheraffectinghim.“YoucannotpossiblybejealousofDalton.”

Hepushedoutanoisysigh.“Youlovedhim.Hestilllovesyou.Thewayhelooksatyou.”Reid

scowled.Hewould’veseenthehug.“Couldsmacktheguy.Neverbeenjealousofanythinginyourpast.
Knewitwaswhatmadeyouwhoyouare,butseeinghimlookatyoulikeyouweretheonethinghe’ddo
anythingtogetback,”heshookhishead,andfinallymadeeyecontact,“Iknowwhatthatfeelslike.It
burns.”

Shemovedherhandfromhischesttohisface.“Ididlovehim.Istilldo,butit’snotthesameaswhat

Ifeelforyou.”She’dhavemarriedDalton,bigwhitedressandveil,bouquet,church,pastor,badorgan
music,riceconfetti,doves,cheaphoneymoon,thewholedrama.It’swhatyoudidinNice.Shefeltso
differentlyaboutthatideanow.Itwasafairytalethatbelongedtoayoungergirlwho’dwantedadifferent
life.

Reidtookherhand,broughtittohislipsforakiss.“Iknowit,butit’sstillakicker.”
AndshestillhadSarinaandDev’sversionofthefairytaletostage-manage.“CanyoufindDevfor

me?”

Hepulledhisphoneout,abluemessagelightflashing,andturnedthescreensoshecouldseeatext

fromDev:Gita’sdead.Grrr.Gettingjumpstart.Don’tstartwithoutme.Itwassentfifteenminutesago.
SoDevwasn’tarunawaygroom;hewasagroomwithamechanicalhitch.Itwasarelief,butReid
wasn’tsmiling.

She’dmakesureheknewwherehestoodwithhertonight.Sheturnedtogo,buthekeptherhand.
“Iloveyou,”hesaid,tryinghishardestnottosulkaboutDalton,tobeangryaboutDad’sno-show.

“You’rehardcodedinmyheadandyouowntheprogramtomybody.”

“Iloveyourightback.I’mplanningonspendingmylifewithyou.”
Thatgotagrudgingsmileoutofhim.“Iwon’thurthim.”Buthewasgoingtointroducehimselfand

sheshouldn’thavewatchedhimmoveacrosstheroom.WatchedhimgreetMom,whohemadeanxious.
WatchedDaltonstandandofferahandandthetwoofthemsizeeachotherup,withmeatyhandshakesand
hardstares.Shewassoengrossed,sheyelpedwhenOwentouchedherarm.

“We’rehere,”hesaid.Hefollowedhereyeline.“Needmetoruninterferencethere?”
“No.”Bothmenmighthaveresentfulthoughts,butMomhadstoppedlookinglikeshe’sratherbeona

GreyhoundbushomethansittingbesideDalton,andKathrynhaditallundercontrol,sendingZarleya
pantomimedwhistleblow,wellawareshewastherefereeinapotentialshowdown.Agoodevent
plannerpreparesforeveryevent.BriefingKathrynhadpaidoff.

SheturnedbacktoOwen,buthe’dalreadylostinterestinReidandwasscanningtheroomforCara.

“She’supstairswithSarina.She’sdonethemostincrediblejobwithallofourclothing,designingthe
uniforms,andmakingSarina’sdress.”

Hefrowned.“Imadeithardforherthisweek.Didshesayanything?”
Carahadstompedaroundandcursedatbeingawoman,attoughdecisions,unfairexpectations,

femaletimelinesandcompetingdesires—atlife.“It’sbeenaninterestingweek.”Itwasthemost
diplomaticthingshecouldsay.

“WouldyoutellmeifIwasintroublewithher?”
AffectingtoseeReid’sconfidencechallengedandoddtoseethenormallypoisedOwensoillat

ease.Weddingfeverhadbittenthemallhard.

Sheheldherhandout.“Comeon,let’sgoseethebride.”

TEN

Sarina

“Finallymychiefbride’smandecidestoshow,”Sarinasaid,whenOwenwalkedintoCara’sstudiowith
Zarley.

“Ipreferchiefbride’ssquire,”hesaid,stoppedinfrontofher.“I’msorry.”Heshrugged.“Car

trouble.Butwemadeit.Devisdownstairsbeingmobbedbyhisfamilyandyours.Youlookincredible.”

Shelookeddownatherself.Thedresswasamiracleofelegancewithoutbeingtoobrideortoo

stifflyformal,andshe’donlymanagedtogettangledinthelaceofthebellsleevesonce.“Ido,don’tI.”
TheybothlookedatCarawhoblushed.

“CanItouch?”heasked,glancebouncingbetweenthetwoofthemforpermission.Caranoddedand

OwenputhishandsonSarina’sshoulders.“Idon’thavethewordstotellyouhowhappyIamforyouand
Dev.He’swalkingtwofootoffthefloorandyoulooksoreadyforthis.Thisisjoy.”Heleanedintokiss
hercheek,andwhisperedinherear.“Ihopeitrubsoffonallofus.”

SheputherhandtoOwen’ssmoothcheek.Everyemotionherbodyhadevermemorizedwasstacked

insideherbodylikeaJengatower.Anticipationpackedonexcitement,layeredontopofcuriosityand
pride.Thejitters,adjacenttothegiddyneedtolaugh,proppedupbydelightandecstaticexpectation.
Therewasfeartheretoo,crowdedinwithdistress,sorrow,strain,andindecision,thosehardfeelings
containedbythesolidblocksofacceptance,contentment,optimismandhope.ButifOwenaddedone
moreblocktohertower,hemighttoppleitoverandmakehercry.She’dbedevastatedifheandCara
didn’tmakeit.

Robrokethetensionsayingtheword,“Buttonhole,”andOwensteppedback,allowingCaratopina

cheeryyellow-centereddaisyliketheonesstuddedinSarina’supdotohislapel.

“You’reaveryhandsomebride’ssquire,”Carasaidandonlygotherhandsoutofthewaybefore

Owenfoldedherintohischest,whilebringingherfaceupwithafingersohecouldseeunderthebrimof
herhat.

Theywereclearlyhavingamoment.
“Weddings,”saidRo,shakingherhead.“Emotionalwreckageinacan.”
Thataboutcoveredit.“Thatbetternotbealinefromyourscript.”
“Trustme,”saidRo.Shewaitedabeatthengaveanevilcackle,whichsuitedtheglamoroustuxedo

andsilversequinedgymbootsshewore,andthefactSarinahadnoideawhatshewasgoingtosay.When
theyallglaredather,Robackedupastepandsaid,“No,really,youcantrustme,I’vegotthiscelebrant
thing.”

“We’reabouttofindout.It’stime,”saidZarley,motioningtoRo.“I’llbebacktogetyouwhenwe

haveeveryoneinplace.”

“I’llseeyoudownstairs,”Carasaid,movingtofollowZarleyandRo,butSarinawavedahandto

stopher.ShewantedtogiveCaraandOwenanextraminutetothemselvesbecausewhateverwasinthat
achinginterchangebetweenthemhadputashadowinOwen’seyes.

“Ihavetopee.CanyoustayandmakesureIdon’ttuckmydressintomypants?”
“Owencan...”Carasmiled.“Ofcourse.I’llgiveyouafewminutes.”
Shedidn’tneedtopee.She’dpeedabouttwelvetimesmorethannecessaryalready,butshewent

nextdoortoZarley’sofficetopretendtouseherbathroom,leavingCaraandOwentogether,andtaking
onelastchancetocenterherself.

Thiswasit.Theendofhersinglelife.OnecompletedJengatowerandanotherabouttobegin.The

onewhereshewasformallypartneredwithDev.Therewasnothingshedidn’tlikeaboutthat.Noregret,
nofear.Theonlyanxietywasmakingitdownthestairswithouttrippingonthesmalllacetrainonher
dress.Shecouldn’twaittoseeDev,thoughit’donlybeenafewhourssinceshepushedhimoutthedoor.
He’dbeentherewhenshewoketohandheraglassofwater,putpasteonhertoothbrush,andspoon
sorbetinabowl.He’dwantedheropiniononbuyinganewhouse,somethingsuitablefortwonew
familiestostartin.BigenoughthePatelsandtheGallosdidn’tgetineachother’sway,smallenoughto
cometogetherwhenitmadesense.

Heropinionhadbeeninstantwateringeyesbecausefamilyandcommitmentwereimportanttoher

man,followedbysweet,sweetkissesthat’dworkedlikemagictonictosettlingherstomachandwerean
appetizerfortherestofthenight.

“Wereyoureallypeeingagain?”Carasaid,comingintotheroom.
“No.Iwantedaminutetomyself.Areyouokay?”
Caraflappedahand.“Me,ofcourse.”
“YouandOwen?”
Caramovedaroundher,ostensiblycheckingoverthedressandadjustingadaisyinSarina’shair,but

inpractice,avoidingthequestion.“We’refocusedonyoutoday.”

“Ifthere’sanythingIcandotohelp.”Sarinalettherestgounsaid,asCarastoppedinfrontofher.
“Pleasedon’tworryaboutOwenandme.Worryaboutgettingthroughyourvows.”
“Bride’sprivilege.Besides,IgettoworryaboutDev,ReidandOwenprofessionally.It’smything.”
Carapressedherlipstogether,andalongwiththelookonOwen’sface,itdidn’ttakemuchtoleapto

theconclusionthattheirrelationshipwashurting.“Youcan’tbreakuponmyweddingday.”

“Idon’twanttobreakupwithhim,but—”
“We’rereadyforyou,Sarina,”saidZarleyfromthedoorway,andablinklater,Owenwalkedinto

theroom.

“ComeandmakeDevthehappiesthumanbeingontheplanet,asidefromyou,”hesaid,offeringhis

arm.

ShetookOwen’sarmandlookedforCara,butshe’ddisappeared.“I’mtheBridezilla,Iwant

everyonetobehappytoday.”Andiftheguestsdidn’tliketheinformalityoftheoccasion,thefactshe
wasn’tcarryingflowersortherewasn’tgoingtobeabunchofspeechesthentheycouldcomplainto
someonewhogaveadamn.

“Yeah,”hesaidwithajumpedeyebrow.“You’vealwaysledbyexample.Let’sseehowyoudoit

now.”

ShestartedwithnotfallingdownthestairsandthennotlaughinghystericallyatRo’sdiabolicalgrin,

orlosingitaltogetherwhen,withherhandsomefriendandpartnerprecedingher,shecrossedthemiddle
oftheroomtostandinfrontofRoandatableladenwithfragrantwhiteflowers,byDev’sside.

Hisexpressionsaideverythinganyoneneededtoknowabouthappiness,andfromupclose,quitea

lotthatwasn’tsuitableforagatheringofmorethantwoconsentingadults.Shefeltherfaceheatfromthe
wayhesurveyedher,theurgencywithwhichhegrabbedherhand.

Sheshould’velookedforherparents,acknowledgedpeoplewho’dacceptedthehastyinvitation,but

shecouldn’tlookawayfromDev,dressedmoreformallythanshe’dseenhimsincethePlustenth
anniversary.Hereyeswenttohisshinyblackshoes,thenbacktohisface.Helookedheart-stoppingly
glamorousinhisdarkgraysuit,withacrispwhiteopen-neckedshirt.Nokookybowtieorcolored
sneakerslikebefore.

“Don’tworry,it’sme.I’mwearingfunkysocks.”Hepulledatthelegofhistrouserstorevealbright

stripeswithouttakinghiseyesfromherface,andtherewasarippleoflaughter.“Arewedreaming?”

“We’rereal.”

“We’regoingtohaveagreatlifetogether.”
“Shallwedothisthen?”sheteased.
“Ifyouletmegetawordin,”saidRo,andthereweresuppressedchucklesaroundtheroom.
“Wait,”saidReid,andtherewasacollectiveintakeofbreath.
SarinaleanedaroundDevandslappedReid’sarmandthatgotnervouslaughter.
“Oneminute,”hesaid,holdingupahandforattention.“Iwanttomakesureeveryoneknowshow

muchtheseguysmeantoeachother.Idon’twantanyonetobefooledbythespeedwithwhichthis
weddingcametogetherorbythefactthatthisisn’tachurchandRogotherlicenseforthedayfroma
PokeStop.”

“Ididnot,”Rospluttered.“Thisiscompletelylegal.”
Thelaughterwasgenuinenow.
Reidwaitedforittodieoffbeforehewenton.“NotwopeopleIknowhavebeenasdevotedtoeach

othersincethemomenttheymet.Thisweddingisn’tdaysinthemaking,it’stheculminationofmorethana
decadeoffriendship,workingtogether,andbeinginlove.Evenwhentheywerebothtoostupidtorealize
it.”

“Oh,hedidn’t,”saidOwen,coveringhisfacewithhishands.
“Getyourownwedding,Reid,”saidDev.
Reidrespondedwitha,“Huh,”thatwasallaboutthefacthe’dtriedthat.“I’mnearlydone.Ifyouget

tobehalfashappyasDevandSarinaare,you’vediscoveredthealgorithmforasuccessfullifeandyou
cancountyourblessings.Icountmineeverydayfromhavingthetwoofthemasmyfriends.”

Andthatgotapplause,asSarinaleantaroundDevagain,reachingforReid,andtheysharedanotat

allawkwardthree-wayhug,breakingapartwhenRosaid,“Clockisticking,people,”andsomeoneinthe
audience,whosoundedsuspiciouslylikeDad,said,“Getonwithit.”

ShefoundDev’shand,andheclaspedtightandRoclearedherthroatandbegan.“Welcomeandthank

youforjoiningusforSarinaandDev’swedding.AsReidsaid,itmight’vecomeaboutsuddenly,butit’s
beenalongtimecoming.I’mRosalieGallo.I’mSarina’syounger,morebeautifulandinfinitelymore
talentedsister.SoontobeDev’sabsolutelytop,favorite,downwithitsister-in-law.”

RogaveabowtocheerfulapplauseandtheloudwhistlewasdefinitelyDad.“And,yes,thatismy

embarrassingfather,”shesaid,lookingatDevandlaughing,“Yougettohavehimnowtoo.”

“Bringit,”hesaid.
“SarinametDevatStanford.Devtrippedoverher,isn’tthatright,Dev?”
“Iabsolutelyliterallyfellforher,”hesaid.
“Butthat’snotthewholetruthofit,”saidRo.
“What’sthewholetruthofit?”saidDevwithaconfusedlaugh,gazeshiftingfromRotoSarinaand

backagain,andshehadasecondtoguesswhereRowasgoingbeforeshesaidit.

“Sarinastuckherlegout.”
“No,”Devsaid,turningtoher,hisfacebrightwithlaughterthatcarriedtherestoftheroomwithit.

“Youdidn’t?”

Shenodded.“Iabsolutelydid.”
Towhistlesandcheers,Devlaughedsohardhenearlydoubledover.Reidhadtoprophimup.

“Wereyouevergoingtotellme?”hesaid,whenhe’drecovered.

“Iwasworkinguptoit.”
“Iknewit.Iknewshewantedme,”hesaidtoReid.
“Therearenosecretstoday,”saidRo,whenshecouldbeheardoverthewaveoflaughter.“Andyes,

Dad,I’mgettingonwithit.We’regatheredtodaytowitness,formalize,legalizeandcelebratethe
marriageofSarinaandDev.Todaytheywillofficiallycommittoeachother,affirmingtheirlove,trust,
devotionandfidelity.Solastchanceguys,becauseIhaveatwenty-four-hourauthorityfromthecounty

clerk’soffice,andI’mnotafraidtouseit.”

SarinaleanedintoDev.“Anysecondthoughts?”
Heturnedhisheadsotheybumpednoses.“Rohasfoundanewcalling.”Hesqueezedherhand.

“First,second,third,allmythoughtsbelongtoyou.”

TherewasacollectiveawandRobeganspeakingagain.“Sincelistsarethefashion,IthoughtI’d

startoffwiththesevenreasonswhymodernmarriagesdon’twork.Heretheyare:one,it’sallaboutthe
weddinginsteadofthemarriage.Two,welookatmarriageasacontractbuiltondistrustandprotecting
self-interestandnotacovenantaboutthebestinterestsofbothpeople.Three,wegethighonthe
pheromonesbecausepassionisfun,butcommitment,especiallywhenthingsarenotgoingsogreat,is
hardwork.Four,wethinkofamarriageasanequalpartnership,afifty-fiftydeal,whichmeansthere’s
troubleifsomeone’snotpullingtheirweightandwe’realwaysmeasuring.Five,lifeisdistracting.There
aresomanythingswewanttodoinadditiontobeingmarried.Six,sometimesmarriagebecomesall
aboutthekids.Seven,divorceiseasy.”

“Nothappeningtous,”Devwhispered.
SherubbedherthumboverthebackofhishandasRostartedupagain,intriguedaboutwhereshe

wasgoingwithherlist.

“Andnow,herearethesevenreasonswhySarinaandDevwillrockatmarriage.One,itissonot

aboutthewedding.”Ah,that’swhereshewasgoing.Rohadtostopforagreatgustoflaughtertopass.
“Two,aslong-termbusinesspartnerstheyknowthedifferencebetweenacontractandacovenantoflove.
Three,there’salreadyalifetimeofcommitmentbetweenthesetwoandfromwhatI’vebeenledto
believe,notalotofactualsexytime.”AnotherblastoflaughterduringwhichDevputhishandtoherface
andshecouldseehowwethiseyeswere.“Four,bothofthemgiveonehundredpercenttoeverythingthey
dosothat’salreadyalock.Five,thefactthatlifeisdistractingishowwegottomarryinhaste.”

“Hell,yeah,”someoneheckledtothesoundofapprovingcheers.
Rowenton.“Six,thebabiesaregoingtobedivineandsowellloved,butthey’llhavetolearnto

sharewithMomandDad.Seven,it’stakenthesetwosuchaverylongtimetocometogetherthatthey’ve
hadamarriageinpracticeforyears.There’snobetterproofthey’vegottherightstufftomakeitgold.”

TherewasasmatteringofapplauseandRoturnedtoher.“It’stimetoexchangevows.”Shestepped

forwardandhuggedSarina,thensaid,“Ladiesfirst.”

SarinaturnedtofaceDevandtookhisotherhand.Shetookabreathandhopedhervoicewouldn’t

wobblelikeherkneesdid.Dev’slasheswereclumpyandhehadtonarrowhislipstokeepittogether.If
hebrokedown,she’dbeapuddleandshewasdeterminednottocryatherownwedding.

“WhenIfirstsawyouacrossthelawnIthoughtcuteboy,he’sclearlylost.”Helaughedatthat.“I

thoughtI’dliketoknowhim,soIstuckmyfootoutandyoustumbledoveritandthenwetalkedforfive
hours.”Shehadtowaitfortheroomtoquiettogoon.“Iwassodevious.Youweresodelicious.Weboth
missedclass.Itwasdarkwhenweseparated.Wehadnothingobviousincommon,exceptwelaugheda
lotandwethoughtitmightbefuntostartabusinesstogether.Afteroneafternoon,IfeltlikeI’dknownyou
alongtimealready.”

“Iremember,”hemurmured.
“YouwereshyandIhadtheinsaneconfidenceofsomeonewhodidn’tknowshe’dmettheloveof

herlife.”Devtookalaboredbreathandherthroatgottight,hermouthdry,shehadtolickherlipsto
continue.“We’vehadanextraordinarytimetogethersofar.You’vebeenmystrengthandmycheersquad
andmycomfort,andalsomycook.”Helaughedandtheroomfollowedhim.

“ButIdidn’tbelievewe’dbestandinghere,andnowthatweare,I’mthatgirlagain.I’mfullof

sunshineandhappinessandI’mlookingatacuteboyI’mdeterminedtohaveandkeeptomyself,a
wonderfulmanwhoisthefatherofmychild.I’mstickingmyfootouttotripyouover.ButthistimeI’m
holdingmyarmsoutsotheonlyplaceyoucanfallisintothem,forallthegoodtimes,andthehardtimes,

andthestartofourfamily,andfortherestofmylife.IloveyouDev,Iwillsupportyouandencourage
youandannoyyouandstandwithyouandnevercomplainaboutanythingyouplateforme.I’msoproud
tomarryyouandhaveourbaby.”

OhGod.Shetookaquickbreathanditwasraggedonthewayinandshudderedonthewayout.She

couldn’ttakehereyesoffDev,hisfacesodeartoher,strugglingtocontainhisemotions.

“Dev,”saidRo,butshehadtotouchhisarmtogethimtorespond.
Heshookherhandsandcametolife.“Sarina,you’veknockedmeovereverydayI’veknownyou.I

hadnotes,Ihaditallwrittendown,evengaveReidacopyincaseIlostthem,becauseIknewI’dbehere
andseeyouandbegone.I’dforgetwhatIwantedtosay.AndIamgoneonyou,butIdon’tneedthenotes,
Idon’tneedwhatIwrotefrommyheadbecauseyouturnedakeyinmyheartandopeneditup,andIknow
exactlywhatIwanttosaytoyou.”

Ifherthroatgotanytightershewasgoingtoquitbreathingandpassout.
“Thefirstthingis,thankyouforpickingme.Ofallthethousandsofstudentsonthelawnthatday,of

allthepeopleyoucould’vechosentohangoutwith,youpickedme.AndIwasn’tsuchacatchbackthen
andyoualreadyknewOwenandhe’salookerandevenReidoccasionallyhadittogetherenoughtobe
moreinterestingthanme.”

SheonlyrealizedshewasshakingwhenshefeltOwenputhishandtohershoulder.
“Iwaslostthatdaywemet.Strugglingtocometotermswithcollege,andwithgirls.”Deveye-

rolledandtherewassoftlaughter.Shetookoneofherhandsbacktopressagainstherchest,tostopher
heartflyingoutofherbody.“Andthentherewasyou,thesexiestgirlwho’deverspokentome.Ithought
youfeltsorryformeafterIfellatyourfeetandyouwerebeingnice.Itwasoneofthebestthingsthat
happenedtomethatyear.IusedtohavethesefantasieswhereIthoughtyou’ddoneitdeliberately.Some
daysIwasconvincedyoudid.AndnowIknowforsure.”

“Nowyouknow,”shesaid,breathlessly.
Henodded,andhadtowipeahandacrosshiseyes.“Iwasinaweofyouthatday.Youweresocool.

Youstillare.IthoughtI’dfoundthesecretoflifewhenyoubecamemyfriend.Iwasinaweofyouwhen
wedidstartthatbusiness.I’minaweofyounowthatyoulovemeenoughtowanttohaveachildwith
me,makealifewithme.”

Shecoveredhermouthtomufflehershortingbreathcominginapainfulhiccup.
“Sohere’swhatyougetfortrippingaguyup.Yougetmeathousandpercentfocusedonyou,onus,

onbeingsecureandhappytogether.Yougetmeasyourcookandyourbestfriend,andyourlover.I’llbe
theonewhoistheretoholdyourhandorpushyououtthedoortodothegreatthingsIknowyou’re
capableof.”

ShehiccuppedandDevputhishandtoherface.“Youhavemydevotion,myundyingloyalty,my

admiration,respectandtrust.”Anotherhiccup.“Ipromisetotripwhereveryouwantmeto,tocarefor
you,andourfamily,growoldwithyouandloveyoualittlemoreeveryday.”

“Oh.”Shehiccuppedagain,andOwenputaglassofwaterinherhand,whichshedrankandthen

hiccupped.Thisiswhathappenedonlydaysagowhenshe’dhadtotalkDevoutofquittingPlusandinto
thefacthewasgoingtobeafather.Whenshe’dproposedandhe’dsaidyes.Romurmuredhernameand
Owentooktheemptyglass.Thiswasworsethancryingbecauseithurt.

Devtookherfaceinbothhishands.“I’vegotthis.Ipromisetoalwayscureyouofhiccups.”He

steppedcloserandangledhisheadandkissedher.

SheheardRosay,“Okay,thatworks,”followedbytherumbleofapprovalfromtheiraudienceand

thenitwasallaboutDev’slipsandhowgoodhesmelledandhowtightheheldherandhowfullupof
emotionshewas,bututterlyunafraidoftopplingover.

Hecuredherhiccupsandtheyexchangedrings,whichwasasurprise.He’dboughtherathick

multicoloreddiamondstuddedband,amatchingplainoneforhimself.Rodeclaredthemmarried;she

musthave,becausetherewascheering,andDevwrappedhisarmsaroundherandtheykissedandkissed,
untilOwenlaughinglybrokethemapartandtheyweresurroundedbyfriendsandfamily,andhandinhand,
luckyinhavingfoundthiskindoflove,theystartedtheirnewlifetogether.

ELEVEN

Owen

Itwaslikebeingdrunk,butonfeelings.OwenpassedahandoverhisfaceandsteppedawayfromSarina
asDev’ssistersswarmedthecouple.Hewasn’tentirelysureifhisbride’ssquiredutieswereoverwith,
butotherthankeepaneyeonSarinaincaseshetriedtoasphyxiateherselfwithhiccupsagain,therewas
nothingforhimtodo.

HecouldnolongerseeCara,althoughhe’dbeenabletowatchherduringtheceremony.Inthatsexy

swishylittledressandstratosphericheels,thetypesherarelywore,shewasavisualfeast,acresoftoned
bareleghewantedtogethishandson.It’dbeenhardtolookaway,especiallyaswhathecouldreadon
herlovelyfaceunderhercutehatwasdistress.

He’dputthatlooktherewhenhe’dtriedtomakethingseasierbetweenthemandendedupmaking

themworse.Shehadn’tsaidtheyshouldbreakup,buthewaswaitingforthewords.Itwouldn’tbe
becauseshedidn’tlovehim,heknewshedid.Itwasinthewayshelookedathim,howsheturnedher
bodyintohisatnight,howshestoletheTVremoteandtunedthesettowhathe’dmostwanttowatch.
Witheverysillytextmessageandeveryorgasmshegaveuptohim,shesaidsheloved,wantedand
neededhim.

Butiflovinghimcameatthecostofherowndesiresitwouldn’tbeenough.
HecaughtReid’seyeandtogethertheybackedofffromthehappycoupleandstoodsidebysideon

theedgeofthedancefloorasSarinaandDevsignedtheofficialdocumentsthatwouldmakethemlegally
wed.Hesnaggedawaiterandscoredthembothabeer.

“Thatmademefeelweepy,”heconfessed,becauseReid,chugginghisbeer,lookedaswreckedas

Owenfelt.“Areyouplanningongettingdrunk?”Reidwasn’tmuchofadrinkerandonewasOwen’s
limit.

“Nope,justbeingadumbbastardandfeelingsorryformyselffornogoodreason.IhaveeverythingI

needinmylife.It’sfuckingawesome.Fuckingweddings.”

Hah,thefeelingwasmutual.“Ifeelyou.”Thebeerwasn’twhatheneeded.“YoumetZarley’sman.”
“Dalton,yeah.He’sagoodguy,foradudeI’dliketosmother.Helovesherstill,buthe’snotbeinga

dickaboutit.”

AndluckilyneitherwasReid.
“Don’tlethergo,Owen.”
“Idon’t...whatdoyouknow?”HereactedtoReid’sprodasifitwasaboltofelectricityonhis

skin,fryinghissenses.He’dneverbeeninsecureinhisrelationships.Hedidn’tlikehowitfelttobeon
shakyground.“HasZarleysaidsomething,hasCara?”He’dtriedtotalktoCaraupstairswhenSarinaleft
themforamoment,butshe’dshiedaway,fussingwithbuttonholesforReidandDev.Shehadtobe
exhaustedandthetimingwasterriblesohe’dletitgo,butitwaseatingathim.

“Noonesaidanything.Thosegirlskeepitclose.IonlyknowwhatIseefromlookingatthetwoof

you.You’reamiseryguts,draggingyourchinontheground,andCara’sgotthisfragilethinggoingon.
Youdon’tweargloomwellandshe’snotmadeofglass.She’safighter.She’sworthfightingfor.”

Helookedathisshoesbecausehecouldn’tmeetReid’saccusation.“Iknowit.”
“Thenwhatthefuckareyoudoing?”
Helookedup.SarinaandDevwerekissingagain,andDev’sdadwasliningfamilyupfor

photographs.“Ifwedon’twantthesamethings,ifwe’renotlikeDevandSarina,isitbetterforhertoend

itwhilewe’restillfriends?”Hehandedawaiterhisunwantedbeerandneitherofthemtookanother
drink.“WhatamItalkingtoyouaboutthisforanyway?”

“Areyousayingyoudon’tseethesunriseinheranymore?”
“I’mfatallyinlovewithher.”Butwasthatwhatsheneeded?
Reidsaidnothing,buthecrackedOwenhardenoughonthebackoftheskull,hetookastepforward,

handgoingtohisheadbeforehespuntofaceReidwhogrinnedathimlikeafiend.

“Youfeelthat?”Reidsaid.
Helaughed,becauseyeah,hefelttheshockofthat.HewasallthewaygoneonCara,likeDevwas

aboutSarina.Therewasnocomingbackfromthat,certainlynowalkingawayuntilhewasconvincedit
waswrongforher.“Ifeelit.”

Ifitmeanttheydidn’thaveafamily,well,he’dfindotherwaystosatisfythatwant.Hecould

volunteer,hecouldBigBrotherorcoachasportingteam,maybesetuphisownlittlekids’techleague.
Thatwasagreatidea,heshoulddothatanyway,rope,ReidandDevin.

“Gonnafindyourgirlanddosomethingaboutit?”
“Ifyouwereme,whatexactlywouldyoudoaboutit?”
“Rohasalicensetowedforafewmorehoursandshe’snotafraidtouseit.”
Owensmiled.Yeah,Reidwoulddothat.Anditwastempting.TothinkhecouldtakeCarahomeas

hiswife,thathe’dneverneedtoworryshe’dtrytosidelinehimforhisowngood.

“Alternatively,thecouchinZarley’sofficeismorethanserviceable.Andatip,don’ttryanythingon

Cara’sworktableifyouhaven’talready.Thosetrestlelegs,someonecouldloseafoot.”

“Yousaythisfrom—”
“Personalexperience.”
Helaughed.Hedidn’tfeelemotionallydrunkanylonger.Hedidn’tfeelunbalancedorconflicted

either.Hehadanewkindofclarity.“Istandwarned.”

“IthoughtIdidatthetime.Tookagoodtenminutestoputthedamnthingbacktogetherafterit

collapsedandI’vegottwoblacktoenails.”

Owenlaughed.“Betthatcooledthingsdown.”
ReidinclinedhisheadinawaythattoldhimheandZarleyhadfoundasaferplacetogeteachother

off.

“Ineedtofindmygirl.”Hecouldn’tseeCaraandtheywerestartingtoservetheappetizer.
“Tellheryoucan’tlivewithouther.”
Hescannedthetables,thegroupattheotheredgeofthedancefloortowhereheandReidstood.

“Somethinglikethat.”

ReidnudgedOwen’sarmandjerkedhischin,andthereshewas,standingwithoneofherhostfamily

momslisteningintentlytosomethingBrookewassaying.Hestoppedawaiter,motionedforhimtohang
tenandgulpedanicedwater,returningtheglasstothetray,andinthesecondhe’dlookedawayfrom
Cara,she’dgone.Shit.Shecan’thavegonefar.

Hespentthenextfifteenfrustratingminuteslookingforher,includingmakingthetrekupstairstoher

darkenedstudioworkroombeforeitoccurredtohimshedidn’twanttobefoundandthatdrunkfeeling
fromearliercareenedintothehorrorofahangover.Hereturneddownstairsandtherewasstillnosignof
her,butashewasabouttotakehisseatbesideheremptyoneattheirtable,shefoundhim.

Thewarmthofherhandonhisback.“CanIseeyouprivatelyforaminute?”
HeexcusedhimselffromBrookeandKuch,whileCarayankedonhishand,halfofhimreluctantto

turnandlookathernowshewasfoundforfearofwhatherexpressionwouldtellhim.

Sheledhimbackacrossthedancefloor,thefringeonherdresskicking,thestrongmusclesinthe

backofherlegsflexingasshedraggedhimalong.Whenhethoughtshe’dtakehimupstairs,shejagged
sidewaysandherealizedtheywerebackstage.Itwasdark,itfeltalongwayfromeveryonethoughhe

couldstillheartheDJ’stunes.Ominously,MattSimon’s“CatchandRelease,”withitsrefrainabout
tellingsecretsandrememberinghowtolove.Itwasalongwayfromthechickendance,butthatwasthe
franticrhythmgallopinginhisheart.

Shedrewhimintowhatwasasmalldressingroom,litonlybylightbulbsaroundamirrorovera

counter,anddroppedhishand,steppingbackwithalookonherfacethatfuckingterrifiedhim.“Cara,”he
neededtostophersayingit.Stopherreleasinghimbecausehe’dbeadesperatemanwithoutherandhe
wasn’tsureofhisabilitytotalkheroutofitifshegotthewordsoutfirst.

“No,”Sheshookherhead.“Don’tsayanything.Ineedto...”Shewasvisiblystressedandcouldn’t

standstill,shiftingfromfoottofootandtwistingherhandstogether.“Oh,thisishard.”

“Thendon’tsayit.”
Sheblinkedtwice.“WhatdoyouthinkI’mgoingtosay?”
“Ithinkyou’regoingtobreakupwithme.You’regoingtotellmewe’vegotincompatiblelong-term

plansorsomeothershitthatIdon’twanttohearyousay.”

Shefoldedherarmsacrossherbody,theactionhitchingherdresshigheronherlegs.“Iwasn’t—”
“You’regoingtotellmeit’sformyowngood,thatyou’rereleasingme,thatyoulovemebutit’snot

enoughandyoudon’twantmetobedisappointedorgrowtohateyou,andthelongerwestaytogether,the
harderitwillbetoseparate.”

“Owen—”
“You’llsayit,anditwillbethoughtfulandsensibleandyouwillputmeonmyfuckingknees.”
Herhandsslappedagainstherthighsinexasperation.“That’sexactlywhereIwantyou.”
Helookedaway,abittertasteinhismouth.He’dbroughtthisonhimselfafterall.“Wedon’tneedto

dothisnow.It’sawedding,forGod’ssake.”

“WedoneedtodoitnowbecauseDadisoutthere.”
Hisheadswungbackaroundsosharplyhefelthisneckcrack.“Youwantyourdadtopersonally

knowwe’reover.”

“No,”sheflunganarmout,fingerpointing,“Iwantyoutogooutthereandaskpermissiontomarry

mebecausehe’dlikethatsomuch,andthenIwantyoutocomebackinhereandgetonyourkneeandask
mebecauseI’mgoingtosayyes.”

Hesaggedagainstthewall.“Youwhat?”
“I’mscared,butI’mnotbreakingupwithyou.Idon’tknowifIwantkids,Owen.”Shetookastep

towardhim.“Idon’tknowifIwilleverwantthemformyself.ButIdon’thavetodecidethatnow.”Her
heelsmadehertallerthanusualbutthebrimofherhathidherfacesohehadtoduckhisheadtoreadher
becauseitwasn’tenoughtohearherwords.“IdoknowthatIwouldhavekidsforyou,ifthat’swhatyou
wantinafewyears’time,andI’dbethebestdamnmotherIcanbebecauseIloveyou,andIknowIcan
loveachild.”

“You’renotbreakingupwithme.”Itborerepeating,likeinthatconflictresolutiontechniquewhere

youreframedyouropposition’sproblemsotheyknewtheywereunderstood.“You’renotgoingto
sidelinemeformyowngood.”

Shetippedherchinupandfrowned.“Notunlessyouwanttobreakupwithme.”
Hereachedforher,handstohershoulders.“Jesus,no.Cara.”
Shenodded,herhatshadingherfaceagain.“Good,becauseIthoughtwecouldgetmarriedtonight.”
Hedidn’thaveatechniqueforunderstandingthat.“Saythatagain,”hesaid,scanningherfaceforany

signofmonkeybusiness.Allhegotwasaprettyflushthattoldhimnothingdefinitebutloosenedtheknot
inhischest.

“I’dliketogetmarriedtonight.”
“Holdon.TwonightsagoIthought...andtoday...”Hegaveuplookingforthelogicofthisand

wentwiththefeeling.“Youwanttogetmarriednow.”

“Itseemslikeagoodsolution.”Shedippedherheadtostophisscrutinyasherconfidencetooka

slide.“Iunderstandifit’snotwhatyouwant.”

“It’snot.”Butitwasthefinestsliceofperfectionawayfromwhathedidwant.
Shepulledaway,takingastepback.“Youdon’twanttomarrymeanymore?”
Hedidn’tchaseher;he’dalreadycaughther.Hewantedhertowelcomethatcaptivity,asunbather

worshippingthestingofheat.“Idon’twantyoutohavetorushintothis.Iwantyoutohavethekindof
weddingyou’vedreamedof.”

Herhandswenttoherhat.“Thisisit.”Shepulleditoffandherhairfrizzedoutaroundherface.

“Youandme.Workingitouttogether.That’swhatyousaidwe’ddobutIdidn’ttrustit,andthenI
watchedDevandSarinagetmarriedandIknowtheynearlydidn’tworkitout.Butiftheycan,wecan.I
can’tthinkofanyoneelseI’dratherworkthingsoutwiththanyou.”

Carawastheacrobatinthefamily,butOwenwashavingtroubleknowingtherightwayup.Hishead

spun.Hemightwellhavebeenupsidedownfromtherushofblood.

“Exceptthatyourfamilyisn’there,andIdon’tknowifthat’simportanttoyou.”
“Idon’tneedtherestofmyfamilyhere.Brookeisenoughofawitness.Butwedon’thavealicense,

we’llhavetodoitagainforittobelegal.”

Slappingherhatagainstherleg,shesaid,“Soyou’lldoit?”
“Letmegetthisstraight.”Hesatonthecountertopframedbythelightglobesbecausewhoknewjoy

couldaffectyoulikegravity,makeyoudizzywiththepossibilities.“Youwantmetogooutthereandask
yourdadforpermissiontomarryyouandthencomebackhereandgetonmykneeandproposetoyou.”

“That’swhatIwant.”AslapofthehatforemphasisasifshewasinaWesternandshewasdoggone

gonnaseehimwedtoherorelserunhimoutoftown.

“Idon’thavearingforyou.Imean,Ihaveone,butnotwithme.”
SheFrizbeedthehattohim.“Youhavearingforme?”
Hecaughtitwithonehandandputitonthecounter.“I’vehaditsincethatdayIcameheretogetyou

back.”

“Owen.”Bothhandsuptocoverhermouth,allthestringsonherdressdancing.
“AndyouwantRotomarryustonightinfrontofourfriends,yourfamilyandBrooke.”
“Yes,please.”
Shelaunchedherselfathimandhecaughthertohischest,standingherbetweenhislegs.“Youdon’t

haveaweddingdress,Starburst.”

“Youdon’tlikethisdress?”Sheshimmiedhershoulders,“Becausethewayyouwerelookingatmy

legsduringtheceremonymademefidgetsobadly.”

Heskimmedhishandsdownherbodyandupunderherdresstocupherass,feelingthesilkofher

skinandfabric,butnotmuchofit,underhishands.Impossibletoimaginehe’devergrowtiredof
touchingher.“Ilikethisdressalot,butyou’readesigner.Don’tyouwantabigbridedress?”

“Iwanttogohomeandsleepinourbedashusbandandwifebecausethat’stheonlyimportantthing.”

Shetappedhimonthenose.“Didn’tyouhearwhatRosaid.It’snotaboutthewedding,it’saboutthe
commitment.”

Hecaughtherhandandhelditagainsthischest.“She’dalsosaiditcouldn’tbeallaboutkids.You

needtoknowthatrightbeforeIwasconvincedyouwereabouttodumpme,Ihadanepiphany,”ifaslap
totheheadcouldbecalledanawakening,“workedoutIcouldbehappywithouthavingmyownkids.”

“Youdid?”
Sheleanedintohimandheputhishandstoherwitchyhairandpulleditbackfromherface.“I’m

cookingsomenewplans.Noneoftheminvolveyouneedingtobepregnant.Butitseemslikeyoudid
somethinkingtoo.”

Hegotasolemnnod,andhebroughttheirfacesclose.“Iflippedacoin,”shesaid.

“Youwhat?”Thatputadeadstoptothekisshe’dangledtotake.Hepulledbacktolookather.
“Heads,I’dletyougo.Tails,I’dtieyoudownlikeananchor.”
“AllI’mworthtoyouisacointoss?”Shemighthavebeenhavinghimon,becausewhiletherewas

nosmiletoguidehim,hereyeswerealightwithfun.

“Itlandedonheads.Iwantedtobarf.”
“Youdecidedweshouldgetmarriedinstead?”
Shedrapedherarmsoverhisshoulder.“Idecidedwewereinloveandthatcamefirstandtherest

wecouldworkout,becauseItrustyou’dneveraskmetodoanythingIdidn’twanttodo.”

Becausehewantedthattobeabsolutelyexplicit,hesaid,“Youwillneverhavetohaveakidifyou

don’twantto.”

“You’resureyoucanlivewiththat?”
Itwasonlyatthebeginningoftheweekhe’dhesitatedaboutthis,nowheknewthey’dcometothe

sameconclusion.Thiswastheright-sideup.Therewasnowinnerorloser,therewasnofifty-fiftyinthis,
therewasonlywantingtheabsolutebestforeachother.“Onethousandpercent.”

Nowhegotthekiss;sweeterforthedelay,softerfortheagonizingthatledtoit.Ashy,freshkissthat

apologizedandpromisedandpreparedforthecelebrations.

“Youreallytossedacoin?”hesaid,takinghislipstoherjaw,tohercheek.
“Iwasfreakingout,okay.”She’dplantedherkneeseithersideofhishipsonthecounter.Hehadan

armatherbackbutlesstosteadyherthanhimself.“Itseemedlikeagoodideaatthetime.”

“Andwhattimewasthis?”
“RightafterInearlyfloodedtheroomwithtearswatchingyoustandbySarina.”
Epiphaniescameinpairsapparently,adouble-sidedcoin.“HowdidIgetsoluckytohaveyou

perseverewithme?”

“Iwasageekyvirgin,remember.”
“Nevergeeky.Wewerevirgintogether.”He’drelearnedeverythinghethoughtheknewabout

intimacywithher.“Butgettingmarriedtonight,you’resure?”He’dhavebeenecstaticaboutaformal
engagement.

“RememberwhenIbackflippedoffthedeskand—”
Heshuddered.“Neverforgettinghowmuchthatscaredme.”
“IknowitseemedsuddenbutitwasexactlywhatIneeded.AYurchencoLooptogetmestartedona

newlife.Iwantthatloopagainnow.Iwanttobackflipintolifewithyou.”

Hehadtohopeherfathersawitthesameway.Hecommandeeredakissforluck,forthelasttimeas

asingleman,andwentofftoorganizehiswedding.Must’veknownsomethingwhenhe’dinsistedonthe
newsuit.OnthewaytofindDarrenDouglas,hegotluckyandfoundZarleystandingwithRo.Hemade
ZarleyhootwithdelightandRolookslightlypanicked.

“Youdon’thavealicenseandIdon’thaveanywordsprepared,”Rosaid.
“Weonlyneedtheonestomakeitawedding,”heresponded.
NextstopBrooke,whoquitthinkinghewasjokingafterthethirdtimeherepeatedhimself.“Dadis

goingtobepissedthisisn’thappeningatoneofhiscasinossohecanturnitintoabusinessevent.”She
huggedhim,thenpumpedherfist.“Iloveit.”

Cara’sfathersawhimcomingacrosstheroomandmust’vereaddeterminationinhisbodylanguage,

excusinghimselffromthetabletomeetOwenontheedgeofthedancefloor.“Somethingonyourmind?”
heasked.

Nopointtakingthelongwayaround.“I’dliketomarryyourdaughter,sir.”
“Iknowthat.”Darrenlaughed.“I’veknownthatforawhilenow.Notthefirsttimeit’scomeup.”
“I’dliketomarryhertonight.”
Darrenrockedbackonhisheels.“JesusF.Christ.Isshepregnant?”

“No.”
“Soit’snotlikeforthisothercouple,ashotgunthing.”
“No.”
“Thenwhere’sthefire?”
Owenputhishandoverhischest.“Here.”
DarrenDouglasgavehimalooklikehewasmentallyimbalanced,buttheimbalancewasallCara

andwhatshedidtoupendOwen’sexpectationsabouthappiness.“Didshesendyououthere?”

“Shedid.”Itwasthebestinstructionhe’deverreceived.
Hisfather-in-law-to-berubbedathisjaw.“Keephersafeandhappy.Helpherbeherbest.”
“Icandothat.”
“Ican’taskformore.ButIwanttowalkherdownthe—”hewavedahand,takingintheroom,

“whatever.”

TheyshookonitandOwenmadehiswaybacktoCara,stoppingbySarina’stable.Hekneltather

side.“Happy?”

Shebeamedathim.“Hopeit’snotsomethingtheyputinthefood.”
“Ihaveafavortoask.”Shequirkedherhead.“Willyoubemygroom’smaid?”
“WillI...Oh,Owen.Yes,yes,ofcourse.”
Headjustedaflowerinherhair.“Rowill—”Hedidn’tgettherestofthesentenceoutbecause

Sarina’shugsaiditall.

LaststoponhiswaytoCarawasReid.Zarleyhadobviouslytoldhimwhatthedealwas.“Thisis

—”Reidstarted.

“Sudden?”
“Fuckingbrilliant.”Reidthumpedhimontheback.“Youmightneedthis.”Heputasmallredleather

boxinOwen’shand.Thesameredleatherboxthatlivedinhisunderweardrawer.

“Howdidyougetthis?”
“Educatedguess.That’swhereIkeeptheringIgotZarley.”
“No,Imean,howdidyougetinmyhouse?Whydidyoueventhinkto?”
Reidshrugged.“Tookagamble.SecuritycodeonyouralarmisthedatewestartedPlus.That

windowfromyourbackgardenneedsanewlatch.”

“YoubrokeawindowandransackedmyhousebecauseyoutookagambleImightwanttomarry

Caratonight.”

“Gotaproblemwiththat?”
Heshouldhaveaproblemwiththat.Itwasalunaticthingtodo.“Whatwereyougoingtodoifwe

didn’twantawedding?”

“IleftthewindowopenandSammyisnoguarddog.”
Hehadtheringhe’dhadmadeforCara.Hehadherfather’spermissionandCarawaitingforhimto

getonhiskneeandtellherhowmuchhelovedher.Sowhattheyweredoingthisbackwards.Hedidn’t
haveaproblemintheworld.

Andinthedressingroomwhenhewenttohisknee,andCarapromptlysatonitanddidn’tlethimget

awordoutforthehotkissesshelaidonhim,hehadzerocomplaints.

IttookZarleyarrivingandshovinghimoutsidethedressingroomtorecognizetheissuehedidhave.

Hehadthegirlandtheringandthecelebrantbuthedidn’thaveaweddingnightplanned.Fiveminutes
laterhehadalaughingDevonthecasewithChristopherstandingbytosortoutthedetails,andhiscredit
cardwouldpickuptheslack.Aprivatejet,aCaribbeanisland,aspotofshoppingtopickupwhatthey
needed.Oneofthosetimesbeingwealthyandwell-connectedwassuperconvenient.

WhenRoannouncedtherewasasecondimpromptuwedding,theguestseruptedintoapplause.

Zarley’sexcellentDJplayedSamSmith’s“StayWithMe”asDarrenwalkedCaratohisside.She’d

ditchedthehatandherhairwasbundledupwithjewelsandfeathers.Butitwashersmilethatwasthe
standoutfeature.He’dhelpedputthatsmileonherfaceanditcountedasoneofhisgreatestachievements.

“Ready?”shesaid,takinghishand.
Fromthemomenthe’dkissedherhe’dknownshewasunderhisskin.Shewastheactionmovieof

hislife.“Yippeekiyay.”

Sarinastoodonhisright.Thebestgroom’smaidandfriendamancouldhave.Zarleystoodon

Cara’s.HetookCara’shandandwhenRopromptedhim,heturnedfullytoherandtheheartsinhereyes
senthispulseintooverdrive.

Marriagewasn’twinnersandlosers;itwasn’toddsandevensorawell-placedbet.Itwasn’tfortune

orfashionorfate.Itwaslovingonepersonaboveallothersandwantingwhatwasbestforthem,knowing
thattogetheryoucouldmakethathappen,andbeingcommittedtoseeitthrough.

HetoldCarashe’dtaughthimtobelieveinhappinessagain,thatnothingwasworthmoretohimthan

herfairness,kindnessandhumor,thanherbraveryanddetermination,andthathe’dhonor,respect,
encourage,loveandenjoyherfortherestofhislife.

Shedidn’tcrytillaftershe’dpromisedtoannoy,comfort,excite,supportandcurlinhisarmsevery

night.UntilshesaidIloveyouandIdo,andshewaslookingatthesurpriseofthediamondringonher
hand.

Hedidn’tcryuntilRodeclaredthemmarriedandCaraleaptintohisarms,andhewassecureshe’d

bethereforever.

TWELVE

Reid

Fuckingweddings.ReidrubbedhiseyesandlookedawayfromCaraandOwen.Muchashisbreakand
enterwasvindicated,therewasonlysomuchloved-uphappinesshecouldtake.Hehadanoverwhelming
needtopullZarleyintohisarms,dragherupstairsandburyhisfaceinhernecktillhefeltmorelike
himselfagain,butshe’dleftCara’ssideandhecouldn’tseeheranywhere.Fuckingweddings.These
weddingshaddonesomethingtohisintestinalfortitudeandheneededadrink.

They’dstartedservingdessertandcoffeebuthetookanotherbeer.Drunkwasabadideaandthis

wasonlyhisseconddrinkforthenightbuttheideaofblankingouttheemotionaloverloadwasattractive.

ItwastheideaofthecenturywhenDaltonapproached.“Anymoresurpriseweddingstonight?”he

askedwithapointedlook.

Notgoingthere.“NonethatIknowof.”
Daltonwentthere.“Arethetwoofyouintendingtogethitched?”
ThisglassdidnotcontainenoughbeerforReidtohandlethiswell.“Notthatit’sanyofyour

business,butno.”

“Because?”
“Thepartaboutitbeingnoneofyourbusiness,Ididn’tsayitformyownamusement.”
Daltongrinned.“Yousureareahardhead.I’mmakingitmybusinessbecauseZarley’simportantto

meandIcanseeshelovesyou.I’mhopingyou’renotsomerich,entitleddouchewho’sgoingtowasteher
time.”

“YouhadyourshotwithZarley.”
“Ihadmyshotandyeah,Iblewit.Ishould’vestoodbyhernomatterwhat.Weweretooyoungto

knowwhatweweredoing.Butshe’sadifferentpersonnowandsoamI.I’mnotyourcompetition.I’m
standingheresoyoudon’tblowit.”

Heshouldwalkaway.Plentyofotherpeopletobeawkwardwith.“LikeIsaid,ZarleyandIarenone

ofyourbusiness.Backthefuckoff.”

“I’ddothat,Iwould,exceptImightactuallylikeyou.”
Theylockedeyes.Reidwasaccustomedtopeoplelookingaway.Daltondidn’tflinch.“Surprisesthe

shitoutofme,”hesaid.

Fuckingweddings,fuckingex-boyfriendswithhonorableintentions.“Look,youwanttoknowthe

truth.Shedoesn’twanttomarryme.I’veaskedherathousandtimes.Asfarasshe’sconcernedwe’re
alreadypartnersandnoceremonyisgoingtochangethewaywefeelabouteachother.”

Thatshuttheguyup.Italsoseveredtheireyecontact,butnotbeforeReidsawwhatlookedlikepity

passacrossDalton’sface.

“Marriageisnotsomethingsheneeds,allright.ThereisnothingIwouldn’tdoforher.”Sometime

tonight,whenhecouldgetheralone,he’ddemonstratethat.Andsowhatifitsoundedlikehewastrying
toconvincehimself.

“I’msorry,”Daltonsaid,withoutatraceoftriumphinhisvoice,andReidhadneverfeltmorelike

hittingsomeone,becausewhileheacceptedZarley’svisionoftheirfuture,apartofhimwisheditwas
different.

Daltonstuckouthishandandtheyshookforthesecondtimethatnight,butthistimetheyunderstood

eachother.TherewasstillnosignofZarleywhenDaltondisappearedintotheroom,andReidhadlost

theinclinationtosocialize.HewasheadedtothebarforanotherdrinkwhenCaraduckedinfrontofhim
andthrustahandtohischest.Shewasbarefootandworeadon’tfuckwithmelook.

“Hello,marriedwoman,towhatdoIowethispleasure?”
“Hello,yourself.Ineedtwothingsfromyou.”
“StillapushysquirtIsee.”
“One.”Sheheldafingerinfrontofhisface.“Iwantahug.”
Thatwaseasy.Hegatheredhertohim,Zarley’sbestgirlfriend,histwo-timeroommate,whogaveas

goodasshegot,whomadeOwenhappyinawayhehadn’tbeenforyears.

“Youandmearethesameinaway,”shesaid,whenhereleasedher.
Shewasafivefootnothingmuch,copper-haired,ex-gymnast,ex-helpdeskworkerturneddesigner.It

washardtoimagineabetteropposite.“This’llbegood.”

“Webothlovepeoplewho’veloveddeeplybefore.OwenlovedLaceyandZarleylovedDalton.”
“Yourpoint?”He’dhadenoughofDaltonforonenight
“Weboth,um,”shechewedherlip,“lackrelationshipexperience.”
Hegroaned.“Whatareyousaying?”Hewassuspiciouslyconsciousthatwhenshefinallygottothe

pointitwasgoingtobeagoodone.

“Theyknowwhatthey’redoingbetterthanwedo.Theyknowwhatthey’rechoosing.Wejustneedto

trustthemtochooseus.”

“Isthatmarriedpersonwisdom?”
“It’smetossingmybouquet.”
“Bouquet?”Agirlybridething.He’dseenthathappenatotherweddings.Neverunderstoodwhyit

wasdone,sameasthatludicrousthingwithgarters.

Shelaughed.“Tossingitstraightatyou.”Whenhelookedatherblankly,shesaid,“Ohnevermind.”

Shehelduptwofingers.“Two.Zarleyisperformingtonight.Sogetyourassbackinthere,otherwise
you’llmissit.”

Thatgothisattention.Zarleyhadkeptthatfromhim.
“Yes,shewantedittobeasurprise.”Shegavehimashove.“Goon.”
Hedidn’tneedasecondprompt,buthegotoneanyway.Caracalledafterhim.“Herfatherishere.”
Hemadeitbackintothemainroomasitwentdimandthelightsonthestagecameon.Therewasa

rippleofpianoandthenaspotlitdancerinareddresswithatorn-upskirtthatfellinunevenpiecesdown
hermuscularlegsmovedtothemusic.Itwasthesimpleststagecostumehe’deverseenherwear.Its
effectwasartistryoversex,balletnotburlesque.Herdarkhairwaspulledbackfromherbeautifulface
andherperfectbodytookhisbreathaway.Herecognizedthesong,JohnLegend’s“AllofMe,”thelyrics
sendingachilldownhisspinewhilethegirlspinningonherpolerobbedhimofthepowerofthought.He
wasreducedtoathrobofemotionsostrongitmadehimshake.HewatchedZarley’saerialchoreography,
thelovesongofherflyinglimbswithhisbluewhaleheartfittoexplode,hisheadfullofthememoriesof
howhe’dfirstfallenforherandhishandsachingtotouchher.

Hewasn’tawareoftheothermanuntilhespoke.“You’reReidMcGrath.I’mJoeHalveston,

Zarley’sfather.”

Hedidn’ttakehiseyesoffZarleytoanswer.Hedidn’tofferhishand.Thiswasthemanwho’dcut

Zarleyoutofhislifewhenshewassixteen.“IloveZarley.Ifyou’vecometoupsether,you’llneedto
dealwithme.”

Halvestondidn’trespondandReiddidn’twaitforhimtoregroup.AsJohnLegendsangaboutgiving

hisall,helefttheroom.HemadeittothebackstagepassagewayintimetoseeZarleytakeabowon
stage.Outofviewoftheaudience,heblockedherwaytothedressingroom.Shecameoffthestageblind
andbreathinghard,andranintohimwithashoutofsurprisethatmorphedintoagroanofdelightashe
liftedherinhisarmsandshewrappedherlegsaroundhimlikeshedidherpole.Hismouthfoundhers

andherhandswenttohishair.Hedidn’tneedtoholdher;hecouldusehishandstofeelher.Herskinwas
hotandslickwithasheenofsweat,hermouthhotter,hertongueseekinghis.Shewasbuzzingfromher
performance,andhewasedgyasfuckfromtheemotionofthenight,fromtalkingtoDaltonandCaraand
JoeHalveston,ontopofwhathewantedtosaytoZarley.

Hesuckedathermouth,sherolledherpelvisagainsthim.Togethertheyweremessyandnoisyand

achinglyfrantic,asifthey’dbeenapartforweeks,asiftheywerenewatthis.Whattheyhadtogetherwas
analgorithmicmagicheknewwasbrightandprecious,andsofreakingrarehehadatendencytomistrust
itsexistenceuntiltheywerelikethis,andthenheknewitwasrealalloveragain.

“You’reextraordinary.”Hewasutterlylostinher.
Sheputbothhandsonhisface,hereyesgoingwide.“You’retrembling,Reid.”
“Youkilledmewiththatroutine.”
“Iwantedtosurpriseyou.”
“Missionaccomplished.”Hebackedherupagainstthewall,impatienttofeelallofher.“I’mnot

goingtoenjoyyoudoingthateverynightforothermentowatch.”

“You’llgetoverit.”
“Likeyou’regivingmeachoice.”Hegroundagainsther,ahandbehindherheadtostopher

smackingitagainstthewallassheflexedaroundhim.

“It’swrongofmetolovehowyougetallgrowlyandpossessive.”
Nopointdenyingit.“Idon’tmindsharingyouwhenIknowyou’recominghometomeeverynight.”
Shestilled.“I’mcominghometoyou.We’llhavebreakfasttogether.”
“Aboutthat.”Timetotellher.“I’mmovingin.Whenyou’reworkingnights,I’llbehere.”Shewas

imagininghimcampedoutinherofficeandherexpressiontoldhimhowdoomedshethoughtthatwas.
“I’vegotplans,alreadydrawnup.Constructionatmyexpenseanditwon’ttakelong.”

“Putmedown.”Hesteppedbackandreleasedhersoherfeetwereontheground.Thefactherhands

wenttoherhipswasn’tagoodsign.“Plansyoudidn’tincludemein.”

“Iwantedtosurpriseyou.AndViapprovedit.”
“Exactlywhatarewetalkingabout.”
Withoutshoesshewastiny.Shecouldstillintimidatehimintofeelinglikehe’dgottenitallwrong.

Shewastheonlyonewhocould.“Convertingtheatticstoreroomtoaloftapartment.Poptheroof,putin
plumbing,abathroom,asmallkitchen,abedroomandanofficeforme.Whenyou’reworkingwelive
there.Wecangobackhomethenightsyouhaveoff.”

“YouwantmetoliveatLucky’s.”
“Idon’twantyoutravelingbackandforthaloneintheearlyhoursofthemorning.Idon’twantyou

sleepdeprived.Idon’twantyouworriedaboutnothavingtimeforus.”

Shefrowned.Hewasn’twinningheroverandyetthiswasthemostsensiblesolution.
“Youworknights,Iworkdays,butIhaveflexibilityaroundthat.Icannamemyhoursbutyoucan’t.

Especiallyintheearlydays,youneedtobehere.Idon’twanttobewithoutyou.I’mmakingiteasierfor
ustobetogether.”

“Reid,youcan’tjustdecidesomethinglikethat.”
“Youleftmeovernotwantingtohaveyourambitionconsumedbymine,becauseyouknewwe’d

havejobsthatmadebeingtogetherdifficult.I’mmakingitnotdifficult.I’mnotgivingyouanyreasonsto
leavemeagain.”

“Youshould’vetalkedtome.”
“Thewayyoutalkedtomeaboutwhat’sbeengettingtoyou?”
Sheputherhandtohischest.Hisoncecrisplyironedshirtlookedlivedin.He’dditchedthesuitcoat,

pocketedhiscufflinksandturnedhiscuffsback.

“Ididn’twanttomakeabigdealofit,”shesaid.

“Thecloseryougottothisplacebeingreadytoopen,themoreworriedyougot.Itisabigdeal.But

it’snotgoingtowreckus.NotifIcanhelpit.”

Shebrokeeyecontact.“Idon’tknow,Reid.Youmadeadecisionaboutmylifewithoutconsulting

me.”Thiswasnotthereactionhe’dhopedfor.He’dwantedmoreofthegrindingoneachotherandlessof
thisground-outirritation.“YouknewLucky’swasmybusinessandyouhadnosay,butnowIfindyou’ve
beenworkingaroundme.”

Fuck.“Zarley,I—”
Sheshiftedpasthim,movingtowardthedressingroom.“Ineedtochange.Ihavegetbackoutthere.”
He’dfuckeditupandhestillhadtotellher.“Yourdadishere.”
Sheturnedback,herexasperationwithhimtransformedintodismay,agasptotheleftofhorror.“Did

heseemedance?”

Twostridesandhehadherhandsinhis.“Hesawyoudance.Hetriedtostartaconversationwithme

butIwastoobusywatchingyoutogivehimthetime.”

Shetookadeepbreath.Hewatchedherface,herexpressionhardening.“Ineedtoseehim.”
“Notifyoudon’twantto.”
“Hemadetheefforttocome.TheleastIcandoissayhello.”
“Doyouwantmewithyou?”
Shehesitated,beforepullingherhandsawayfromhisandshakingherhead.“Ineedtodothisalone.”
Shelefthiminthecorridorwithquestionshecouldn’tanswerandthedesiretodrinkhimselfinto

oblivionsohecouldforgethe’ddisappointedher.Buthewouldn’tdothat,nomatterhowattractivethe
ideahadbeenallnight.Hehadn’tdoneitsinceshe’dpickedhimupoffthestreetandputhimtobed.She
mightwanttoseeherfatheralone,buthe’dbereadyforwhateverthefalloutfromthatwas.

Heplannedtodriftthoughtherestofthenight,avoidgettingtiedupwithpeoplehebarelyknewand

intoconversationshehadnoheartfor.HewatchedZarleyreturntotheroominhersilverdressandspeak
withViandthenCarabeforeshewenttothetablewhereherparentssat.HewatchedJoeHalvestonstand
butmakenoattempttotouchhisdaughter,whileTriciacoveredherfacewithherhands,hershoulders
jerkingwiththetearssheshed.FatheranddaughterspokefornomorethanfiveminutesbeforeZarley
turnedaway,thetensioninherpostureyankinghimacrosstheroomtoherside.

Shecameintohisarmsattheedgeofthedancefloor,whileLeonaLewis’s“BleedingLove”played.

Hecouldn’tdanceforshit,buthecouldholdher,strokeherbackandmurmurinherearwhilehermuscles
softenedandherarmsshiftedtowindaroundhisneck.Hehadaviewoverherheadofherparents.Tricia
lookingstoicwhilesheputhercoatontoleave.Joelookinglikehe’dbeensuckerpunched.

“They’releaving,baby.Doyouwanttosaygoodbye?”
Zarleyliftedherface.“HavesaidallI’mgoingtosaytonight.”Shesighed.“It’sastart.Maybeone

daywe’llbeabletoforgiveeachother.”

“Gotanyjuicelefttoforgiveme?”Hewasalameassholeforasking.
Shepinchedhischeek.“Youmeantwell.”
Hetrodonherfootandthenstoppedmovingsohedidn’tdoitagain.“It’sastart.”
“Ineedtimetotakeitin,Reid.It’salotmoreseriousthandumpingaweddingonme.”Shepulled

outofhisarms.“RightnowIneedtoseetoacakecutting.”

Andsohelostheragaintotwobridesandonecake.Thenextpersontoclaimhisattentionwashis

mom,praiseforZarley,ahugandakissandasshewasleaving.HenoticedthePatelfamilyfilingout,
andKuchgavehimanodfromacrosstheroom.DaltonleftatthesametimeasKathryn,whichmighthave
beencoincidentalbuthepreferredtothinkitwasprophetic.Sarina’sparentsstoppedtosaygoodnightand
ViwasbusyshowingarowdybunchofPluspeopleout.

Onhiswaytothedoor,Christopherstopped,lookedReidupanddownandsaid,“Ilikeyoubetter

nowIknowaboutZarley.”

“Ilikememuchbetterbecauseofhertoo,”hesaid,shockingChristopherintolaughter.
“Ifeellikewegotcheatedthough.”
Ofcoursehedid.“Howso?”
“Tellmeyoudidn’twanttomarrythatgoddesstonight?”
Hewantedconstructionstartedonthethirdfloorapartment.HewantedZarleyhappywiththeidea.

Hewantedhercurledupinhisarmsatwhatevertimeshecametobedatnight,andtousledinhersleep
whenhewokeinthemorning.Hewantedwhatshewantedandshedidn’twanttobemarried.
“Goodnight,Christopher.”

Eventuallythecrowdthinned,themusicwentsoftandhecajoledawaitressintobringinghim

whateverleftoversthekitchenwouldputtogetherbeforethechefquitforthenight.Heateatthebarwith
twobrides,twogroomsandtheircelebrant,whileViandZarleydidwhateverittooktocloseupforthe
night.Devwastipsy,Sarinahadtroublekeepinghereyesopenbutrefusedtogiveintoherexhaustion.
OwenworetheexpressionofaverycontentedmanandCaracomplainedofabackachesheblamedon
hershoes.

“Youcanhaveamassagewhenwegettotheisland,”Owentoldher.
“Whatisland?”shesaid.
“Theonewe’llbelandingatin,”hecheckedhiswatch,“sixhours,giveortake.”
“We’regoingtoanisland?”
“DidyouthinkI’dletyougowithoutaweddingdressandahoneymoon?”
Shejumpedtoherfeet,wincing.“WeneedtogosoIcanpack.”
Owendraggedherontohislapandshutherupwithakiss,makingtherestofthemlaugh.
“Weneedtogo,”saidDev,“orSarinawillneedtobecarriedtoGitaandI’mnotsureI’mthemanto

doit.”

“Wecanstaggertogether,”shesaid.“Hey,”shepointedatOwenandCara,“ifwe’realltaking

honeymoontime,thatmeans,”shepokedReidinthearm,“he’sincharge.”

“Thatwasbadplanning,”saidOwen.
“Trynottobreakanythingtooimportanttillwegetback.”Devyawned,andbothSarinaandCara

caughttheyawnbugfromhim.

“Dotheyallnotsosecretlyhateyou?”Roaskedhim.
“Wedon’thatehim,”saidSarina.“Weoccasionallyfearhim.”
“Withgoodreason,”saidDev.
“WouldanyofyoubehappilymarriedtonightifnotformeandZarley?”hesaid.
“Thereisthat,”saidOwen.HelookedatCara.“AreyougoingtobeaLange?”
“Willitgetmebetterpoolsideserviceontheisland?”sheasked.
Rocoveredherheadwithherarmandmuttered,“Aren’tyousupposedtohavestufflikethatsorted?”

Shepeeredoutfrombehindanelbow.“DidIjustmarrypeoplewhoaren’tprepared?”

“Iwasjoking,”Carasaid.“I’mkeepingmyname.”
“Youare?”saidOwen,lookingalittlehurt.
“I’mkeepingmine,”saidZarley.She’dcomeupbehindReid’sbarstoolandputherhandsoverhis

eyes.ItwaslikethemomentwhereDaltonleftwithKathryn.Itcouldmeannothingoreverything.But
beforehecouldworkoutifitwassimplysomethingshe’dsaidtojointheconversation,Viappearedand
thetwowomenwerepulledintochatterwiththehappycouples.

ThenightwasZarley’striumphandhewasproudofher.Everythinghadrunonschedule,nothing

moredisastrousthanafewdroppedplates,andapowerfailureinthemen’sbathroomthatwasfixedwith
acandle.WithVi,she’drescuedLucky’s,she’dsurvivedtherenovation,asoftopeningandtwo
weddings.Hewantedtotakeherhometoahotbathandtumbleherintobed,holdherwhileshefell
asleep,wakeherlateforbreakfastandkeepherbetweenthesheetsandhisownskinmostoftheday.

He’dhavetimetoexplainabouttheloftapartment,totalkmoreaboutherdadandDaltonandanything
elseshewasworriedaboutandfailedtomention.Hewasn’tlettingherupanddresseduntilheknewall
herrecentsecrets.

HewatchedherlaughwithSarina,leanoverCaratorubhershouldersandacceptathankyouhug

fromOwen.Hecouldwatchherallnight,whichishowhewasabletoreadherlipswhensheaskedRo
whattimeherlicenseranout.He’dhavethoughtitmeantsomethingcombinedwiththeearliercomment,
butthenRoonlyhadahalfhouronherdeputyforthedayclockandZarleydisappeared.Hewas
ridiculousandstillalittlehungrybutsurroundedbyfriendsonwhatwasoneofthehappiestnightsof
theirlives,hedidn’thaveasingleconcern.

Hedidn’thavehiswitsabouthimeitherwhenZarleycamebackbecauseshe’dchangedintoa

differentdress.Itwasacreamycolor,arichsheentoitliketheinsideofanoystershell.Ithadaneckline
thatswoopedbetweenherbreasts,anupside-downheart.Fromtheback,hell,italmosthadnoback,there
wasfabricperchedlow,huggingherstunningassinthesameheart-shapedline,beforeitfellstraightto
thefloor.Itwasalookthatcouldknockaguysenseless.

Everyoneelsefellsilentasshestoppedinfrontofhim.Hehadavaguesensationhewasbehindthe

curve.

“Doyoulikeit?”
Hemotionedforhertoturnaroundandshedid,lettinghimputahandtoherbareback.Hehadno

ideahowthisdressstayedonherbody.“Youlookbeautiful.”Ifsheworethisasaworkuniformitwould
pisshimoff.

“Caramadeitoriginallyformetowearhere,butitcameouttoomuchsomehow.”Thatwasarelief.

“Ithoughtitwouldmakeanamazingweddingdress.”Notachurch-readylook,thatwasforsure.

“Ithoughtitwouldmakeagreatweddingdressforme.”
HebracedagainstthebarandlookedatCara,whogrinnedback.Devwasmuckingaboutwithhis

camera.Rosaid,“Ohfuck,hurryup.”

“Flygirl,what’sgoingon?”
“Marryme.”
Hemoved,tookherbytheshouldersandhustledherawayfromthebarsotheycoulddothiswitha

bitmoreprivacy.“Baby,youdon’tneedtodothis.Ifuckedupnotconsultingyouontheloftidea.Ifucked
upputtingpressureonyouaboutgettinghitched.It’sbeenabignightandwe’veallgotweddingfever.”

Herhandswenttoherhips.“Ohreally?”
Hetuckedhishandsthroughherelbowsandaroundherback.“Yeah,really.DespitethefactIfuck

up,Iwantforyouwhatyouwant.”

“Thatmakesiteasythen.”
“Itdoes.”Hekissedherforehead.“Let’sescortthehappycouplesoutandgohome.”
“Iwanttogohomeasyourwife.”
Heflattenedahandonherbarebackandsliditdowntocupherheart-shapedass.“Noyoudon’t.”
Shepushedagainsthischest,archinghertorsoaway.“AreyoutellingmewhatIwant?”
“I’mconfused.”Hescrubbedahandthroughhishair,hopingitmightwakehisbrain.
“Youdidn’tfuckuptonightabouttheloft.”
“Ididn’t?”
“Yousurprisedme.It’sincrediblythoughtful,evenifyoushould’veconsultedme.”
Nowthat’smorelikeit.“I’llknownexttime.”
Sherolledhereyes.“Noyouwon’t.Iloveyouanyway.AndRoonlyhastwentyminutesleftonher

license.Marryme.”

“Zarley,baby,youdon’t—”
“Andcounting.”

“Why?”Fuckingweddings,theyscrewedwithyou.Madeyouwantthingsyoudidn’tneed.
“Becauseit’swhatyouwant.”
“That’snotenoughofareason.AndifI’mbeingtruthful,Iwanteditmostbecauseyoubringoutthe

cavemaninmeandmarriagemakesitapainforyoutodumpmyass.ButI’moverit.Youwereright.”
Andwasn’tthatabigdealtoadmit.“We’realreadymarriedineveryway,”he’dhavetoworkonthe
legalfront,“thatcounts.”

“I’mnevergoingtodumpyou.”
“YouheardwhatIjustsaid.Wedon’tneedawedding.”
“Yeswedo.BecauseI’mnotoveritandIknowyou’reonlysayingyouareforme.Itdawnedonme

tonightthatIconnectedmyweddingwithDalton,andthedreamsofasixteen-year-oldwhowasgoingto
beanOlympicgoldmedalwinner.Itwasgoingtobethewholeprincessfantasy.ButI’mnotthatnaive
kid,andIdidn’tthinkIdeservedaweddingwithyou.”

Heslappedahandagainsthisforehead.“That’sthe—”
Shegavehimashove.“Don’ttellmethat’sthestupidestthingyou’veeverheardmesay.”
Heshuthismouth,becausethat’sexactlywhathewasgoingtodo.
“Iwaspunishingmyselffornogoodreason.Punishingyoutoo.Dressingituplikeitdidn’tmatterto

me.Tryingtobeawomanwhodoesn’tneedthefantasy.ButtonightIrealizedit’snotafantasy.A
weddingdoesn’tneedachurchortwelvemonthsofplanningtobereal.Wecanmakeitlegallater.Isaw
twocouplesstartamarriageonnothingbutfriends,familyandlove,andthat’sthekindofweddingI
want.Justyouandme,ourclosestfriends,andourmoms,inmybartonight.”

“Ourmoms?”HelookedoverZarley’sheadandtheretheywere,standingtogether,fourshinyeyes.

“IwishI’dbroughtthegoddamnrings.”

Shelaughed.“Iboughttherings.Theunderweardrawer,really,Reid,themostobviousplaceinthe

world.”

Helaughed.“Youknewyouweregoingtodothistonight.”
“No.ButIwantedtobepreparedforanything.IthoughtmaybeI’dmakeyouhappyifIagreedtoan

engagement.”

“Youmakemehappywhateveryoudo,Flygirl.”
“OhmyGod,youguys.Ihavefifteenminutes,”Rocalled.
“Marryme,Reid.”
“Ithoughtyou’dneverask.”HetookZarley’sfaceinhishandsandwastedanentireminutekissing

herbeforeturningtoRo.“CanyouhandlethefastestshotgunweddingintheWest?”

Owensaid,“Yippiekiyay,”andeveryonemoved.Asmalltableappeared,abunchofflowersanda

litcandleonit.CarashovedmoreflowersfromatablesettingwrappedinabartowelintoZarley’s
hands.

Mombroughthissuitcoatandhelpedhimputhiscufflinksbackon.Shehadabadcaseofthe

sniffles.“Behappy,”shesaid,astheyhugged.

“Tenminutes,”saidRoandtheyclusteredaroundher.DevandOwenonhisright.CaraandSarina

onZarley’s.

VihadDev’scamera.“Ididn’tknowyouhadthiskindofromanceinyou,BackBooth,”shesaid.
“LearneditfromthewomanIlove.”
“Ihavetoask,areyousure?”saidRo.
Andthat’sallittookforhimtotakeZarley’shandandpromisetofuckupinwaysthatshowedhe

lovedherfortherestofhislife,andforhertopromisetoalwaysforgivehimforfuckingup.Theysaid
otherthingstoo,aboutbeingtruthfulandtrusting,aboutlisteningtoandrespectingeachother,andthen
DevhandedhimtheringandheputitonZarley’sfingerandkissedtheshitoutofherwhileRosaidthe
incantationthatboundthemforeverinawaythatwouldmakeitthatmuchhardertoquiton.

Sarinachosenowtocry,makingDevlookbewildered.ViopenedchampagneandCaracheered.

Owenlookedreadytoraiseatoast,butsaid,“Ohcrap,wecan’tallbeonhoneymoontogether.”

Zarleytightenedhergriponhishand.“Wecan’tgoanywhererightnow.”
“We’lloweyouvacationtime,”saidOwen.HelookedatVi,whonoddedheragreement,andnoneof

itmatteredtoReidbecausehe’dmarriedthewomanwhomadehimabetterman,whoownedhimbody,
brain,bluewhaleheartandsoul.

“Everyoneout.”
Zarleyleanedintohim.“There’snohurry.”
“Ijustgotmarried.Ihaveawife.AwifewhoisthesexiestthingI’veeverseen,wearingadressthat

shouldbebannedinallfiftystates.It’sbeenalongdayandfuckingweddings,andyouallneedtogo
homeandsleeporconsummate,becauseIhaveadatetochristenanantiquebar,”hedraggedZarleyinto
hisarms,“andIintendtokeepit.”

ASidelinedOriginsStory

RUNNINGINTERFERENCE

Food.Needfood.ThatwasthemantrainReid’sheadafterasix-hourcodingjag.Hisrighthandached
acrosstheknuckles,butthatwasmoreabouthowhardhe’dhitthebaglastnightthanthekeyboard.
Shouldtakebettercareofhishands.Neededthem.Running,lifting,kickboxingwouldbesafer.Food.
Needfood.

Hesteppedoutintothedayandshuthiseyesasthesunblindedhim.Whenwasthelasttimehe’d

stoodinthesun?Months.Beforethesemesterbegan.He’dbeentotingrooftiles,tryingtopayattentionto
whathewasdoingsohedidn’tstepoffabeamandgothroughtheinsulation,landinsomeunlucky
householder’skitchencoveredinplasterdustanditchyfibers.

Itsmelledgoodouthere.Airthatwasn’ttaintedbytheodorofstalecoffee,rottingfruitpeelanda

pileoflaundrythatneededdoing.Thatdidn’tsmelloftwostudentsworkinginasmallroomwithno
window,notdesignedasaworkspace.

“Heyman,yougoingtomove?”

Heshiftedtoletagroupofstudentsgetthroughthedoorandtippedhisfaceuptothesun,feelingit

prickleonhisskinandfilterthoughhisbody,forcingagroanoutofhismouth.Heshouldgetmore
sunshine.Itwasaffordable,aquickfixforachesandpains,andaspiritlifter.Notthathisspiritwaslow.
Thiswaswherehewasmeanttobe.

Hisstomachgrowled.Food.He’dcomeoutforfood,becausehecouldn’trememberthelasttime

he’deaten,therewasnomoreofthecurryDevmadeandhe’dstartedtofeellight-headed.

Nowhefelthotandlight-headed.

WherewasDevanyway?He’dbeenthere,ontheothersideofReid’sdeskandthenwhenReidnext

lookedup,hesimplywasn’t.Hehadn’theardhimgo.

Agirlbrushedhisarmasshewentpast.That’swhenherealizedhewasstandingonthewalkway

likeanidiotwhiletherestofStanfordnavigatedaroundhim.Butthat’sbecausehisheadwasn’there,it
wasbackinhisroom,tryingtofigureoutwhythatcodehadn’tdonewhathe’dwantedittodo.His
stomach,however,wasmostdefinitelystandinginthesunshineandrumbling.

Twentyminutes.That’sallheshouldneed.Findfood.Eatfood.Gobacktohisroomandgetthat

fuckingcodetowork.Atsomepoint,hehadtohandinanassignmentbecausehestillneededtograduate,
incasehecouldn’tcracktheunicornideaandcrashoutofschooltodoaGates/Zuckerberg.

Sofartheunicorncodecrackinghadbeenagiantstinkingballofshit.Therewasajobsearch

somewhereinhisfutureanditwasdumbtoresentthat.HavingadecentjobintheITindustrymeanthe’d
neverhavetogobackhomeandworkasaroofer,dooddlaboringjobsagain.Hestillresentedit.He
didn’twantajob.Hewantedtomoonwalk,dosomethingnooneelsehaddonebefore.

Hejustwasn’tsurehowhewasgoingtogetanyonetobelievehewascapableofbeinganything

morethanacrackprogrammer,anaceengineer.

ExceptDev.

Devalreadyhadhimfittedformoonboots.

Andtherewassomethingdisturbingabouthowthatmadehimfeel.Likeitmightlegitimatelybe

possibletobesomethingmorethantheweird,awkwardlonerwhosestudywaspart-fundedbyachurch
scholarship,whoforgottoeat,andstoodnumblyinthesunshinemakingpeoplewalkaroundhim.

Onefootinfrontoftheother,heatonthebackofhisneck.Heshould’veshaved,probably.Neededa

haircut.Neededanewlogicthat...

“Watchwhereyou’regoing.”

“Huh?”

“Lughead.”

Shortpeople.Theywereahazard.Theyhadnoideahoweasytheyweretowalkinto.

ItwastheshortpeoplewhoalertedhimtoDev.He’dhavewalkedpastotherwise.Healmostdid

anyway.Devwastalkingtoachick,lotsofhairandbigsunglasses.Theysatonthelawnandwhatever
Devwassayingmadeherlaugh.Devwasgoodatthat,makingpeoplefeelatease.Hewasakindof
savant.Itwasnoeffortatallforhimtomakeotherpeoplesmile,laugh,wanttospendtimewithhim.That
DevwantedtospendtimewithReidwasoneoflife’smysteries,buthe’dcometoacceptitlikehe
acceptedalienlifeexistedwithoutproof.Ithadaninternallogichetrusted.

Reidsquintedatthem.Ifhewentbackthewayhe’dcome,hecouldavoidthem.He’dseeDevlater

andhedidn’twanttointerrupt.MaybeDevwastryingtoscore.Heshouldwatch,itmightbeinstructive.
Hah.

Nope.Totaldistraction.

Heswungaroundtogobackthewayhe’dcome.Hehadenoughtoworryaboutwithoutsomechick

messingwithhishead.Once,he’dletthathappenonce.Thathadbeeninstructive.Andsex,halfhisclass
wereoutoftheirheadschasingtailandgettinglaid.Someonewasalwayscryinginthecorridors,smack-
talkinginthegym.Whoneededthehassleofthat?

“Reid.”Devwasonhisfeet,callingacrossthelawn.Anyoneelse,he’dkeepwalking,buthe

couldn’tdothattoDev.TherewasapossibilityhemightactuallystarvewithoutDevbringinghimfood
ontheregular.

Heliftedhishand,ahalf-heartedwave.“Checkyoulater.”

“Sandwich.”Devliftedapaperbagandwaggledit.

Hewassohungryhisstomachwasstucktohisribsandhecouldtastebile.Willsocializeforfood.

HepickedhiswayacrossthelawntoDev.

“SarinaGallo,thisismylabpartner,ReidMcGrath.”

Sarinasmiledupathim.Shepattedthegrassbesideher.“Sit.You’reblockingthesun.”

Hesat.Devhandedhimthepaperbag.HescarfedthesandwichwhileSarinaaskedhimquestionsto

whichhealternativelynoddedandshookhisheaduntilshesaid,“Whenwasthelasttimeyouate?”

Heshrugged.Devsaid,“Whenwasthelasttimeyouslept?”

“Sleepisforpussies,”hemumbled,butthefood,thesun;hecouldsleep,righthereonthelawn.“I’m

close.”Tooclosetostopnow.

“He’swrittenthisalgorithm,”Devsaid,“It’sgenius.”Reidtunedout,lettingthesunandthecalories

tricklethoughthisbodyasDevexplainedwhattheyweretryingtobuild.

“Yourownstart-up.Impressive,”Sarinaslidherglassesoff.“IshouldgetaphotowithyoubothsoI

cansayIknewyoubeforeyouwererichandfamous.”

“Onlythecodesofar,”saidDev.

Noteven.Thecodedidn’twork,andReidwasn’tnaiveenoughtothinkthecodealonewasa

business.

“Butit’sastart.Reidhasavision.”

Hehadaheadache.Heshouldgetapairofcheapsunglassesifhewasgoingtositaroundinthesun

wastingtime.Hedidn’tsomuchhaveavision,hehadanobsessionandhecouldn’tthinkpastitto
achievebasichealthandhygiene.Helookedaroundthelawn:groupslaughing,dudewithaguitar,a
couplemakingout.Adifferentexperiencetotheonehewasliving.Didhewanttositonthelawntrying
tolookcoolwithaninstrumentorargueaboutwhichsuperherowasprimo,likethetwoloserstohisleft?
Notafuckingchance.

“So,outwithit,”Sarinasaid.

Shedidn’treallywanttoknow,nooneoutsidethelabdid,butDevwasgrinningathimsomaybethis

waspartofthematingritualhedidn’tgrok,andhedidn’twanttofailDev,sohetoldSarinahewantedto
revolutionizethewaypeopleworkedinteams,makeitmoreefficient,logical,createtime-savingtools
andmechanismstoallowforcreativity,forhandingworkoffandallowingdeepcollaboration,andthe
surprisingthingisshetookhersunglassesoffandhereyesdidn’tglazeover.

“That’sit,”hesaid,knowinghestruggledtofindtherightwordstoexpresshimselfclearlyand

probablysoundedinsaneusingwordslikerevolutionize.“Don’texpectyoutogetit.”

“Hedoesn’tmeantoberude.He’snutrientdeficient,”saidDev.

Sarinalaughedandputherglassesbackon.Reidsquintedather.Mostlypeopledidn’tlaughathim.

Mostlytheyavoidedhim.Heneededtogetback.Hehadworktodo.Hedidn’thavetheluxuryofsitting
aroundinthesunlikealoser.

“Iknowyourtype,”shesaid.

“Type?Areyouoneofthosesocialsciencemajorswhothinkwe’reallmotivatedbythesamecore

valuesorcharactertraitsorsomecrap?”

“WhatifIam?”

“You’regoingtoputalabelonmeandexpectmetobehavelikeatextbookcutout.It’sbullshit.”

“Reid,”Devhissed.“Playnicewiththeotherstudents.”

“Vagueexperimentationandsubjectivity.Nevermadeanythinghappen.Wasteoftime.”

“I’msorry,he’sso,he’sso...hecan’tdopeople,”saidDev.

SarinalookedatDev.“Youdon’thavetoapologizeforhim,butit’scuteyouwantto.”

IfDevcouldseehisface—pink,andnothingtodowiththesun.“I’mout.”Reidgottohisfeet.He

couldeatagain,buthe’dratherbeworking.

“Won’tsurprisemeifyoudoit,”shesaid.

“Dowhat?”He’dalmostforgottenherexistence.Devlookedatherasifshewasthereasonthere

wasasun.

“Breakthings.Makenewstuffhappen.”

“Whywouldyousaythat?”He’dbeenrudetoherandshedidn’tcare.

“BecauseI’moneofthosesocialsciencewasteoftimemajorsandyouhaveawayaboutyouthat

makesmethinkyou’repartbulldozer.”

“Usuallythat’sacomplaint.”

“You’renottryingtodigtheusualhole.”

“Ihavetogo.”Heturnedtopickapathacrossthecrowdedlawn.Whatwereallthesepeopledoing

outhereinthemiddleoftheday?Didn’ttheyhaveclassestoattend?

“I’mkeepingDev.”

Heswungbackaround.Devhadneverwornasmilesofreakingenormous.“Whatdoesthatmean?”

“Hetrippedoverme.He’ssmartandfunnyandIlikehim.”

Devbattedhisbigcoweyesather.“Youdo?”Frickinghell,nowhe’dbeuseless.There’dbetime

wasted.There’dbecryingandsmacktalk.

“Ido.”Shelookedup.“Imightlikeyoutoo,Reid,ifyougavemeachance.”

“Idon’tneedtobeliked.”

“Youdon’tneedtowinapopularitycontest,butifyouwanttochangetheworldyou’regoingtoneed

peoplewhobelieveyoucandoittocomewithyou.”

“I’vetoldhimthat,”saidDev.

Sheshoulder-bumpedDev.“He’snotagoodlistener,ishe?”

Traitor.“Ilistentoyou,Patel.”

DevshoulderbumpedSarinaback.Theywerebothlookingathim.“He’sselective.”

Reidstaredthemdown.“There’stoomuchnoise,toomanyblowhards.”

“Iagree,”Sarinasaid.

Shewasright,anditannoyedhim.Hecouldn’tdowhathewantedtodoaloneandDevhadbeen

tellinghimthis.

“Icouldhelp.”

“Shecould,Reid.Sheknowspeople.”

HegesturedbetweenhimselfandDev.“Whywouldyouwanttohelpus?”

“Becauseyouareamess.”Hegruntedatherandshewenton.“Introverted.Sociallyawkward,

deeplyhiddeninferioritycomplex,massiveego.Butstubborn,focused,intelligencetoburn.”

Allthatfromhimblockinghersunandmaulingasandwich.

HeshiftedhiseyestoDev.“Whatdidyoutellher?”

“Wedidn’ttalkaboutyou,doofus.”

Hewenttohishaunches.“Isthissomekindofpartytrick?”

“Yes,it’showIpaymytuition.Igoaroundusingmybullshitsocialsciencemajortoguesspeople’s

underlyingmotivationandmygratefulsubjectsthrowmoneyatme.”

“Fuckoff.”Hewantedtolaugh,butDevwasdoingenoughofthatforbothofthem.

Sheshovedhiskneesohetippedbackonhisassandsat.“Youarehardcore.Ialreadylikeyou.”

“Areyouhigh?”Shehadtobe.Likeablewassomethinghe’dneverbeen.Scary,weird,obsessive,

loner;hehadalockonthoseattributes,butlikeablewasawholeotherstateofmind.Youdidn’tneedto

belikeabletosucceed.

“Highonsunshineandintellectualcuriosityandperfectlyseriousaboutwantingtohelpyoubothget

abusinessup.”

“Why?”

Shesmiled.“Whynot?”

“BecauseI’mamess,apparently.”

“ButDev’snotandhebelievesinyou.AndIcanintroduceyoutootherpeoplewhowill.Andthen

I’minonthegroundfloorwhenyoustartyourrevolution.”

Mercenary,notheartsandflowers.Thathecouldunderstand.

“DoyouknowOwenLange?”Sarinapointedtoablondguy.Preppy.Aviatorshades,brightwhite

Colgatesmile,aboutReid’sheight.Hestoodwithagroupattheothersideofthelawnlookinglikeatrust
fund.

Reiddidn’tknowanyoneoutsideoftheguysinhisownstreamandnoonehecouldcallafriend

otherthanDev,whotookonelookatthisOwenguyandtriedtoswallowhislips.Troubleinparadise
already.

“Financemajor.Hisfamilyisbigincasinos.Wantstostarthisownbusinesssohecangetoutfrom

underhisdad.”

Howfuckingnicethatmustbe.Comefrommoneyandwanttomakemorelikeitwasanoptional

extra,upsizingtolargefries.“Goodlucktohim.”

“Youknowhowtowriteabusinessplanthen?Howtofindbackers?”

No,buthe’dfindout.Howhardcoulditbe?“What’syourpoint?”

“Thenetworkeffectworkswithpeopleaswell.”

Noitdidn’t.Thenetworkeffectwasaboutscalingupnewtechnology,likehowaphonewasuseless

unlessyouknewsomeoneelsewithaphoneandthemorepeoplewithaphoneyouknew,themoreuseful
thephonewas.Hefrowned.Oh,wait.

Sarinatappedhertemple.“Nowhe’sgotit.Themorepeopleyouknow,themorelikelytofindthe

peoplewhoshareyourwayoflookingattheworld.”

“Andthatguy.”

“Owen.”

“YouthinkhemightthinkthewayIdo?”Fatchancethatguyworkedasalaboreroverspringbreak.

Hisbandt-shirtwasprobablymoreexpensivethanReid’swholewardrobe.Thatguydidn’tneedtomake

hisownrevolutionhappen,itwasjustanicetodo.

“Idon’tthinkanyonequitethinksthewayyoudo.ButIthinkyou’resmartenoughtoknowyouhave

failingsandyou’llneedtofillinthegaps.”

“Consultingyourcrystalballagain?”Itwasscarilyaccurate.

“No,Itakecloudreadings.”

“Funny.”Hedidn’tlaugh.Devdid.

Reidknewhewassmart,workedhard.Healsoknewwherehisfailingswere,he’dplannedtobluff

pastthem.“I’mnotinthemarketforpartners.”Easiestwaytogetrippedoff.

Sheslappedhisknee.“You’dbeanarrogantprickifyouweren’tsoinsecure.”

“Jesus.”

“Plusyourflyisundone.”

“Shit.”Heshovedhishandoverhiscrotch.Itwasentirelypossiblehe’dbeenexposinghisPikachu

undiestohalfthecollege.Buthishandclosedoverasafelyzippeddick.

“Madeyoulook,”thetwoofthemchorused.

“Whatisthis,juniorhigh?”Hegothisfeetbackunderhimandstoodagain.“Howlonghaveyoutwo

knowneachother?”

“Wejustmet,”saidDevatthesametimeasSarinasaid,“Forever.”

Hisalgorithm,whenhegotittoworkasaweb-basedservice,plusDev,plusthisSarinachickhe

didn’tintimidate,plusherblondfriend,Owen,whocouldworkabusinessplanplusmakesureDev
didn’thaveareasontogetdistractedoverababeandendupcryingwhentherewasnowayhecouldpull
heranyway.Itwassomethingbetterthanabluff.

“What’syourbusinesscalled?”Sarinasaid.

“Plus,”heshotback,asifhe’dthoughtaboutthatformorethanasecond.She’dsaiditfirstandit

wasagoodfit.Hecouldchangeitlaterifhehadabetteridea.

BehindSarina,Devmadeaface.“Didn’tthinkyouhadanameforit.”

“Idonow.”

“Ilikeit.”Shegrinned.Didsheguesshe’dpluckeditfromher?“Simple,easytoremember,

descriptive.”

“Whathappensnow?”He’dhavetofindsomewayofexplainingthesoftwaretopeoplewhodidn’t

code.Wasthisevenagoodidea?

DevgotupandgaveSarinahishand.Shetookitandstood.Hedidn’tletgowhilesheslippedher

shoeson.Shehadahoopthroughhereyebrow.Shehadanicesmile.She’dsaidstuffthatmadesense.She
hadDevhangingonhereveryword.Reidhadlefthiskeyboardandcomeoutsideforsustenance,because
hecouldn’tkeepworkingwithoutit.

“Weseehowwegobecomingfriends,”shesaid.

Notwhathe’dexpected.

“Don’tmakethatface.Youneedfriends,Reid.Youneedthemforwheneverythinggoesgreat,plus,”

shemadefingerquotesaroundtheword,“whenitallturnstoshit.”

He’dcomelookingforfoodnotfriends,andhisfacenodoubtwasmadeofhorrorshow.

“I’mnotgoodatfriends.Devwilltellyou.”

“You’reincollege,it’sallaboutlearningnewthings.”

“I’monlyinterestedinPlus.”

Shestudiedhim.Hedidn’tknowwhatshe’dmakeofhiswornjeanswiththewhitepaintstains,his

fadedtee,filthyrunners.Herubbedhischin.Lastshavewasdaysago.Butatleasthe’dshowered
becauseheneverwentadaywithouthittingthegymsoawashwasmandatory.She’dseehewasn’tput
togetherandpersonablelikeDev,orajuniortycoonwithdaddyissueslikeOwen.Buttherewasnothing
hecoulddoaboutthat.Hewasanarrogantprickandhewasinsecureandthatwasthebestofit,nopoint
pretendinghewasslummingit.It’sallhe’deverknownandshe’dseeitstraightup.Witch.

“We’llsee,”shesaid.

HelookedoverherheadatDev.Whatthefuckdidthatmean?Devgrinnedasthoughitwaspayday

attherestaurantwhereheworked.“Youcoulddowithhavingsomefun,Reid.”

Fun.Hewasn’theretohavefun.Pluswashistickettosomethingbetter.Hedidn’tknowthischick

andhedidn’tunderstandhermotives,andfuck,hisheadthumped,hishandached.Hewasn’thungry
anymorebuthecouldsleepfordays.Peoplewereoutinthesunandthefreshair,screwingaroundwith
guitarsandotherpeople’sprivateparts,havingalife.Thebestthingaboutthelastyearhadbeenhis
friendshipwithDev.WhatifhehadtwoDevsinhislife,three.

“It’sfriends,”saidSarina.“Startthereandwhoknowswhatcouldhappen.Itcouldbebetterfor

you.”

Bettertogetherinsteadofalone.

“Ihavetocode.”HewavedahandatDev.“Youruninterferencewithfriends.”

He’dwalkedoffbeforeherealizedhehadn’tsaidgoodbyetoSarina.Heturnedbacktofindher

watchinghim.Shewasacoolchick.He’dbeluckytohaveherasanacquaintance,letaloneafriend.He
gaveherasalutebecausehewasadumbass,butshesalutedback,comingtoattentionandsnappingoff
thegestureasifshewasmilitary,whileDevfellaboutlaughing.Herubbedhiseyes.Iftheyhadn’tbeen

talkingabouthimbefore,theysureasshitwouldbenow.

HelikedSarina’spiercedeyebrow.Helikedshedidn’tflinch.HerfriendOwenhadseenReidcheck

himoutandinsteadofignoringitorprojectingaggression,he’dgivenasmileandanod.Reidknew
nothingaboutbusinessplansandsure,hecouldlearn,butit’dtaketimehedidn’thaveandheonlyhadso
muchtimebeforesomeoneelsehadthesameideashehad.Hewasasingularnearfriendlessweirdobut
hewasn’tidiotenoughtothinkisolatinghimselfwasthewaytowin.

Plus.Friends.Potentialbusinesspartners.Fun.BetterTogether.

Hedidn’tknowwhatitallmeantyet,certainlydidn’ttrustit,couldturnouttobeaunicorn,analien

abductionexperience,butashehunkeredoverhiskeyboardinhismustydormroom,ittastedlike
nourishmentandfeltaswarmandhealingassunshine,andthatwasfoodforthought.

IfyouenjoyedSidelined:OffensiveBehavior,DamagedGoods,SoldShortandShotgunWedding,you

mightenjoytheangstyheroesofLoveTriumphs:Insecure,InconsolableandIncapable.

ReadonforasampleofInconsolable.

Youcanfindoutmoreabouttheseriesat:

www.ainsliepaton.com.au

Andifyoureally,reallyenjoyedShotgunWedding,oryouhaveacommentthatmighthelpanother

reader,thinkaboutleavingareviewatyourfavoriteebookretailerorGoodreads.

INCONSOLABLE

Asamplechapter

Sometimestheonlywaytoforgivenessisthroughlove

Foleyhasanewbossshedoesn’tlike,ahousematewho’sbeenknowntowearoddshoes,andacarthat’s
ready to pack it in. She hasn’t met a guy worth lipstick in forever, and though she planned a life less
ordinary,theonlythinguniqueaboutherisabadlythoughtthroughtattoo.

UntilDrum.

Drum wasn’t always the cliff guy, a homeless man sheltering in a cave tucked above a popular tourist
beach.Hewantedtogetasfarawayfromhispreviouslifeaspossible.Nowhewakeswiththesun,runs
onthebeach,doesoddjobsforcashtobuyfood,andisatpeace.
UntilFoley.

It’sFoley’sjobtofindDrumasaferplacetolive,buttheonlyhomeDrumwantsistheoneplacehecan
neverstay:Foley’sheart.

NowhereinFoley’sjobdescriptiondiditsayleanoverarailingontopofascaryclifftotalkahomeless
hermitsquatterintolivingsomewhereelse.

Communityrelationsmanagersdidn’tdospelunkingasarule,nordidtheyforceevictionsintheface

ofpendingpublicoutrage.

Foley’sjobdescriptionsaidsensible,definitive,measurablethingsthatyoucouldputakey

performanceindicatoragainstandbankasalaryon.Itsaidpresentthepublicfaceofcouncilwith
integrityandprofessionalism.Itwasaboutrecreation,communityengagementandtheenvironment.Itwas
parksandbeaches,family,historicalandculturalevents.

Itwasn’tsweatingandsquintingintheFebruaryheathazewithherstomachwhirlingandherpalms

soslipperytherailingmightaswellhavebeenmadeofbutterwhilesheyodeledoffintospace.

“Hello,areyouthere?”
Themiddaysunburnedherforeheadasshetriedagain.“Hello,I’mFoleyBarnes.I’mfromcouncil.

I’dliketotalktoyouifyou’vegotthetime.”

Gotthetime.Idiot.Hewasanunemployedsquatter,whatcouldhepossiblybedoingbut

deliberatelyavoidingher.Thiswouldbefunnyifitwasn’tsomethingGabriellawantedhertofailat.

Foleywipedherhandsonherpants,putthembackontherailingandleanedalittlefurtherover.She

couldn’tseetheman’scampsite.That’showhe’dmanagedtoliveontheclifffaceundetectedforsolong.
Hewastuckedawayinacavethatmustextendbackundertherockledge,perhapsevenbeneaththe
walkwayandMarksPark,whereshestood.

Ofcourse,nowshe’dsaidshewasfromcouncilhe’dprobablythinkhewasintroubleandhe’dstay

hiddenawaydownthere,sothatwasanotherdumbmove.

“Hello,you’renotintroubleoranything.Iwanttointroducemyself.”
Ohyeah,sure.Thatwasgoingtowork.He’dbesittingdowntherelaughinghishomelessheadoff.
Shesighed.EveninthisshewasFrustratedFoley.Natwasgoingtoloveit.
“Okay,I’llcomedowntoyou.”
Thereweretwowaysshecouldgoandtheybothinvolvedtherailing:underorover.That’swhythe

pantssuitandthesensibleshoes,insteadofalightweightdressandheels.Ifshehadtobeabillygoaton
worktime,she’dbeapracticallydressedone.

Sheclampedherbackteethtogetherandduckedunderthemetalrail,steppingoutontherockledge.

Oneoftheworld’smostfamousbeacheswasspreadoutinfrontofher,alongwithagooddealofthe
coastline.Itwasblueonbluewheretheskymettheseaanditsparkled;blindinglyawe-inspiring,
spectacular,andthoughshesawitoften,thebeautyofitnevergotold.Nowitwasespecially
breathtaking,butforalltheworstreasons.Fromthewrongsideofthesafetyrailingitwassimplybigger,
moreferociouslybeautifulandpotentiallydeadly.

Shetookasteadyinglungful.She’dwantedalifelessordinary.Shecould’vebeeninhercomfortable

air-conditionedoffice,atherergonomicallysounddesk,workingontheBeachFilmFestivalorthe
WinterWonderland,orshecouldwalkalongthecoast,averysafedistancefromtheedge,andcheck
Sereno,theheritage-listedhouseshewastryingtosavefromgreedyagentsanddevelopers,butno,here
shewas,backtothewall,thrill-seekingonarockledge.

Natwasgoingtopissherselflaughing.
FromhereFoleycouldseetheledgehadtwotiers.Theoneshewasstandingonandanotherthat

juttedoutbeneath.Thecavemustbebetweenthem.Theedgeandthedropoffintotheoceanwasagood
carlengthaway,butitwasstilltheedgetoasheercliffandnonextbirthday.Sensibleshoesornot,her
kneeslocked.

“Hello,areyouthere?”
Shebentforwardandtriedtopeeralongtheledgeandwasrewardedwiththesightofabluetarp.

Butnohermitsquatterman.Hecouldn’tkeepavoidingher,andsurelyhe’dbeabletohearher,unlesshe
wassleeping.Ifhewassleepingsheshouldlethimbe.Itwasn’tsmarttosneakuponasleepinghermiton
acliffface.Whoknowswhathemightdo?Theyknewsolittleabouthimanyway.Butyouhadtosurmise
whattheyknewdidn’tsuggestmodelcitizen.Hewasanunemployed,beardedstreetperson,who’dmade
apermanentcampsiteonacliffface.

“Hello,MrDrum.Areyouthere?MynameisFoleyandI’dliketovisityou.”
Wasthathissurname,Drum?Thelifesaversandtheparkrangerscalledhimthat.Itwasprobablya

nickname.Theyallspokefavourablyabouttheman.Agoodbloke.Maybesomementalhealthproblems,
buthedidn’tappeartobedangerousandwasalwaysreadytohelpout.Therewasprobablytruthinthat,
givenhe’dbeenlivinginthecaveforaboutayearnowandthere’dbeennoreportsoftrouble.

“MrDrum.Ifyou’rethere,Ineedtotalktoyou.”
Andheneededtotalktoherlikeheneeded...Hell,hemustneedalotofthings.Ahotshoweranda

home-cookedmeal.Ashave,haircutandajob.Aproperbedtosleeponandsomeformofcounselling.
Andwalls.Themanmustneedwalls,atnight,whentherewasonlythemoonandthestarstoseebyandit
waswindyorcold,orjustplainfrighteningtobelivingontheedgeoftheworldwithnothingtostopyou
fallingoff.

Ashudderstartedinherthighsandrippledthroughherbody,leavingatrailofgoosebumps.Imagine

beinghereduringastorm.Itcouldripyououtofthislifeandhurlyouintotheforgotten.Noonewould
evenknowithadhappened,unlessabodywashedup.OhGod.Whatifhesleepwalked?Whatifhewas
hurtorsickoralreadydeadinhiscampsite?

Orhereallywasdangerousandtheydidn’tknowityet.
Gabriellahadsuggestedshetakearangeroralifesaverfromthebeachwithher,butno,Foley

arguedthatmightscaretheman,andtheydidn’twantthat.Theywantedthistobeapeacefuleviction.Not
somethingthelocalpresswouldwriteup.Whichwastrue,butitwasalsoFoleybeingstubbornabout
doingitherownway,becausetwomonthsonshewasn’toverlosingthedepartmentdirectorjobto
Gabriella,andwasthoroughlyinfectedwithanoverwhelmingdesiretostickoneupherbybeingthe
singularlymostcompetentpersonontheentireplanet.

Andforallthatbravado,theman,thewholeideaofhim—whichinair-conditionedcomfort,within

solidwalls,wasentirelybenign,inawe’remorescarythanheis,andit’llbenotroubleformeto
manageway—wasfreakingherthefuckout.

Thesingularlymostcompetentpersonontheentireplanetprobablydidn’thaverubberknees.
That,andtheknowledgeshe’dhavetogodowntothelowerledgetofindDrum,orgobacktothe

officeandadmitdefeat,stoppedherretreat.Notanoption.Butneitherwasmovingherlegs.Herfeet
stucklikeseasnailstotherock,slimysuckersgrowingfromthesolesofhersensible,beforeyou
consideredrockclimbinginthem,shoesandstickinglikewetonwater.

Shelookedaroundforanythingresemblingstepsnaturallycarvedintherockface.Itwasn’tthatshe

wasscaredofheights.Shewasn’tbestieswiththem,butshewasn’tnormallyfrightenedrigidofthem,or
spiders,orsnakes,ortheDobermaninthehousenextdoortoherunitblockthattriedtoleapthefenceto
eathereverytimeshewalkedpast.Thoseweredecent,solid,ordinaryfears,butnotherfears.

“MrDrum,areyouthere?”
Sheshould’vethoughttobringabribe.Asandwich,acoffee,acashdonation.Withherbagstrapped

overherbody,shecouldstilldothelatter,butwasitsmarttoyelloutcomeandgetit,whenthegettingit
meantopeningherwalletinfrontofaquantityunknown,unemployed,homelessman?

Onacliffface.
Ohshit.Thiswasareallydumbidea.
“Please,MrDrum,ifyou’rethere.I’malittlescaredaboutcomingdowntoseeyou.IknowIsaidI

would,andI’vecomeundertherailing,but,um,I’mnotsurehowtogetdowntowhereyouarefrom
here.”

Ohbloodyexcellent.Tellthehomelessvagrantyou’reonhisturf,butspinningout.Thisishowsmart

peopleendupmurdervictims.Theymissoutonapromotion,takeanunreasonabledisliketotheperson
whogetstheirdreamjobandmakeidiotego-baseddecisionsabouttheirownsafety—becausethey’rea
flamingnumbskull.

“Okay,Icanseeaway.I’mcomingdowntoyou.”
Badkarmatoeventhinktheworddown,proofofinsanitytoshoutit.Hersensibleleather-soled

shoesreallyweren’tatall,inhindsight.Nogrip.Marvellous.Ifshesat,shecouldwiggleherway
forward,dropherfeetovertheedgeandpushofftojumptherestofthewaytothelowerledge.Shebent
forward,putonehandontotheroughrockandwenttoherknees.Fromhereitwasamatterofflipping
overtoherbumandbutt-walkingtherestoftheway.

Thatwasaworkableplan,exceptnowshewasinacrawlingposition,crawlingfeltsaferthan

flippinganywheresoshecrawledforwardandyes,thatrippingsoundwastheleftkneeofhersuitpants.
Fantastic.Thetoesofhershoeswouldbescuffedaswellandshe’dbepinkwithsunburn.Allthisand
she’dachievedzip.

Shelookeduptowardsthewalkwayandsafety.Therational,professionalthingtodowouldbeto

callthislittleadventureoff,andcomeagainanotherdaywithbettershoesandbackup.Sowhatif
Gabriellawaspatronisinglypleasantaboutit.Thewomanwouldprobablyofferupaloeveraforthe
sunburn,asewingkitforFoley’spants,andasmileyfaceinherfollow-upemail,askingpassively
aggressivelyifFoleywantedtopassthisresponsibilityontosomeonebetterqualifiedafterherhorrible
ordeal.

Shewasnotpassingthisresponsibilityon.DislikingGabriellawasn’tirrational,itwashealthy.The

womanswoopedinfromnowhereandtookFoley’spromotionoutfromunderherbecauseshewasa
friendofthemayor’s,andnowGabriellaveryclearlywantedFoleygone.

AndFoleywasn’tgoinganywhere.Whichwasthemetaphysical,andtheactualphysical,truth.She

wasinabattletothedeathatwork,andonherhandsandkneesonarockledge,suicidedistancefrom
plummetingtothesea.

Freakingsuperb.
ButpittingherselfagainstGabriellaandnotbeingabletofollowthroughwasdefinitelyacareer-

limitingmove.Shecrawledforward,tookholdoftheroughstoneedgeoftheledgeandbroughtherlegs
aroundtodropthemoverandsit.Shemadeahmmmnoise,asthoughshe’dactuallyachievedsomething
andlookedatherwatch.It’dtakenfifteenminutestotravelsidewaysmaybetwocarlengthsandsweat
wasrunningdownherface.

Nowshecouldseetherestofthetarp,arusty,wrought-irontable,andtwochairs,andanold

barbequecooktop.Shepeeredovertheledgeandadropofsweatrolleddownherjawandoffherchinto
splashontherockbelow.Thedistancebetweenherdanglingfeetandthesecondledgewasaboutthe
sameassteppingupontoakitchenstool.Theledgeshewassittingonwouldbeaboutchestheight.

“MrDrum.I’malmostthere.Sorryit’stakensolong.Iwascheckingouttheview.Icanseewhy

you’dwanttolivehere.Magnificent,isn’tit?”

Shesmackedherselfinthehead.Lame,solame.That’dsoundedallrightinthecaronthewayhere.

Shepushedofftheledgeandtherewasanothertearingsound.Shewassafelyonthelowerrockplatform
butnowfrozenwithadifferentfear.Herunsexyunderwearwouldbeondisplay.Shefeltherbackside,
screwingherheadaroundtolookandyes,she’dtornaholeinthebumofherpants.Couldbeworse.She
couldbewearingag-stringandthere’dbebarewhite,fleshy,backsideflashing.Asitwas,blackundies
underblackwasn’tsobadandherjacketcoveredthedamage.Ifsherememberedtostandstraightandnot
leanforwardshe’dbefine.Exceptshe’dhavetowalkbackacrosstheledgeorhe’dgetaneyefulof
BondsCottontails.

Shepattedherfacewithatissue.Shewasn’tgoingtothinkaboutthetripbacktothepath.Shewas

goingtogoflapMrDrum’starpandhopefullytakeaseatathistableandthey’dtalkabouthowitwas
dangerousforhimtocontinuetolivehere.She’dtellhimcouncilwasconcernedforhiswelfareand
readytohelphimmovetomoreappropriateaccommodation,especiallybeforeSculpturesontheCoast
kickedoff,whenthere’dbethousandsofpeople,includingthevisitingDanishRoyalFamily,troupingall
overtheparkandthecoastalwalkway.

“Hello,I’mhere.”
Shewalkedforwardandputherhandtothetarp.Theledgewasmuchwideranddeeperthanshe’d

expected.Hehadtobeasleep,ortherewasonebigcavebehindthetarpandhestillcouldn’thearher.

“Hello.”
Shesteppedaroundthetarp,whichwasmoreofawindbreakthananythingelse,andthecavecame

intoview.Shallowerthanshe’dthought,lesssheltered.Therewasacampbedandasleepingbag,a
zippedsuitcase,anesky,atorch,somekindoflamp,andapileofbooks.Norubbish,nodiscardedcrap,
nohoardedjunk.Notasingleemptyalcoholbottleorcan.Itwassurprisinglyneat,functionaland
heartbreakinglysadthatsomeonewouldwantthishunkofexposedrockfortheirhome.Itwasalso
annoyingfreeoflifeforms.

Whycouldn’tanunemployedhermitsquatterbehomewhenyouneededhim?

AboutAinsliePaton

Byday,AinsliePatonisamild-manneredcorporatestorytellerworkinginmarketing,publicrelationsand
advertising.She’swrittenabouteverythingfromtheAfricanrefugeecrisisandToxicShockSyndrome,to
high-speed data networks and hamburgers. Nights and weekends she writes cracking, hyper-real
romances. Her heroes are often tongue-tied and brooding, or heartbreakingly beta. Her heroines are the
wickedchallengetheydidn’tknowtheydeserved.

Youcanfindoutmoreaboutherbooksandnewsletterat:

www.ainsliepaton.com.au

.

Youcanchattoherwhenshe’savoidingworkon

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