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Heart of the

Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

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Heart of the Kingdom © 2011 Sarah Ann Watts

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978-1-920468-80-4

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Dedication:

To Lawrence, with my love

6

Heart of the Kingdom

by Sarah Ann Watts

When I heard the horse coming up the valley I came

out to meet you, my hands empty. The sun was in my eyes

so I couldn't see your face, but I saw that you were armed

and no casual traveller.

My own clothes had grown ragged— I knew I

looked like a peasant.

You drew rein and asked me for water. Then I saw

you were hurt. I fetched water in an earthenware cup. You

took it and drank deeply, and then the cup fell from your

hand and I caught you, staggering a little with my useless

arm, and laid you on the grass. I tethered your horse so she

wouldn't stray. Then I took your shield and sword from you

and half carried, half dragged you into my cave.

There I tended you. The hem of your cloak was wet

like your hair. I stripped the cloak and your shirt and saw

the jagged wound on your shoulder where the claws of the

beast had torn you. I laid my hand over the marks and

sighed. Then I heated water at the fire and crushed herbs to

make a poultice to draw out the poison. Even then, the

fever held you for three days before it broke. I thought you

would die, young and strong though you were. More

beautiful than memory. Your dark hair was forever wet,

though I did my best to sponge the heat of the fever from

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

7

your brow. I watched over you for three nights, bringing

you cool water to drink and feeding the fire to keep you

warm. Finally I rolled myself in your cloak and slept —

worn out— knowing I had done all I could and you would

live or die. After some hesitation, I laid your sword and

shield at your side.

When I woke there was light in the cave. The fire

had gone out, and you stood over me with the point of your

sword at my throat. I'd expected no less, though you were

unsteady on your feet and I could, I think, have

overpowered you. Having chosen to save your life, I wasn't

going to kill you now, so I asked you instead if you were

hungry. You withdrew the blade a little and watched me as

I rekindled the fire, taking care to use flint and tinder and

disguise the breath I used. I'd turned my back to you, a sign

of good faith, as I measured oats and made porridge.

Humble fare for a knight, but you took the bowl I gave you

eagerly enough and ate. I thought you might finish it all and

leave me hungry. Although you were famished, you handed

the bowl back before it was empty.

"My horse?"

I shrugged. "She is tethered outside. There is plenty

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

8

of grass, and I brought her water."

You nodded in curt acknowledgement. "I owe you

thanks for your care of her and your care of me." I could

tell it cost you something to thank me. You were a knight

and you had your pride. Then you pulled yourself

awkwardly to your feet, leaning on your sword, and limped

towards the entrance of the cave. I let you go.

After a few minutes while I considered what I

should do and came to no conclusion, I followed you out

into the sunlight. The horse raised her head and whinnied

softly, so I fetched her some oats from my store and then

went down to the stream to bring her water. You were

kneeling there with the ends of your hair trailing in the

water. As I watched, you raised your hands and water ran

through them, catching the light in rainbow colours.

Reflections patterned the metal of your sword. You were a

creature of water, and I was a servant of fire. There should

be enmity between us.

I watched you as you drank from the stream. After a

while I went back to the cave and kindled a small flame on

the hearthstone, stretching my hands out to warm them. I

used no art and felt only a small glow that was too weak to

renew my strength. I had already failed to kill you and

defend my territory. I was half hoping you might leave and

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

9

I could forget you, but I knew there was history between

us.

After a while the sun clouded over and there was

rain. I kept to the shelter of my cave, and after what felt

like hours you came in. I gave up my seat by the fire,

thinking you were cold, but you shook your head, water

falling from your hair like rain, and laughed. The fire

hissed and went out. You smiled at me and said, "My name

is Melior."

I took your dripping hand and held it. Raindrops

sizzled as they touched my skin and dried. Like the spark

that burns, my skin was liquid fire. You felt the shock. I

think you would have pulled away, but I held you and said,

"Elynas," waiting for recognition in your eyes that never

came. When I let you go, I saw the scorch marks where my

grip had touched your arm. They smudged like ink and ran

away in dark rivulets.

"That is a name of ill omen."

"Nevertheless, it is mine."

"I came looking for a monster, not a man."

"You found me." I was curious to know what you

wanted.

"I serve the queen."

This came as no surprise.

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Sarah Ann Watts

10

"She sent you to see if I still lived?"

The flame leapt then at my touch, and your cheek

was red in the light of the flames.

You shook your head. "I'm looking for the serpent

that murdered the king and stole the heart of the kingdom.

I've sworn to find it and return it to my queen."

I was angry then. "You're welcome to search for it.

Pressnyne, my gentle bride! Did she even tell you what you

were looking for? I gave her a kingdom— isn't that

enough? Go back into the shadows of the cave. See what

you find— chests of treasure, ropes of pearl, jewels that

grow like grapes on the vine."

I should not have taunted you, but your words had

hurt me and I hated to see the wary look in your eyes.

"They say the serpent guards it always. Would you

lure me to a dishonourable death? I think all I'll find in your

cave is bones."

"Are you afraid?"

You snatched up your sword then and lit a torch

from the flames. I went to sit out in the sunshine. You were

gone for some time. You must have crawled a long way in

the darkness, but you came out empty-handed and furious.

Water dripped from the hem of your cloak.

I was waiting for you, took the purse from my belt

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

11

and held it out to you. "This is all the treasure I possess.

Take it if you came to rob me. It's not enough to buy my

life."

You took it and opened it, and three silver coins

spilled on your palm. You held one to the light, looked at

the face on the coin and then looked again at me. "I could

almost believe your wild tale. You have a look of the dead

king. This one is a royal seal. I'm not a thief— or a grave

robber."

So you thought me some crazed halfwit wandering

the country, claiming the name of a dead king, a beggar

who had strayed into a serpent's lair.

"The silver is mine." I'd reigned by right of

conquest when I took the sea kingdom for my own. The

theft of the sacred fire was between me and my gods. You

stood there in your court clothes, and I faced you in my

rags.

"I think you already saw the serpent. Who wounded

you on your way here?" Then as you glanced nervously at

the sky I said, "You're safe for another three days. Then the

dragon will return. I'd suggest you leave now. You can ride

to safety before it wakes again. I give you my word, it will

not pursue you."

"I ride nowhere. Come with me and I will show

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

12

you." You led me out into the rain where the horse waited

patiently, its grey coat misted with rain. You spoke to her

gently and then you beckoned me forward. "Pull out the

peg that holds her."

I did as you said and handed the rope to you. You

placed your hand on the bridle, whispering to the horse

some invocation I didn't know. Then you drew your knife

and sheared through the rope. It parted in a wisp of vapour.

"Be free," you said.

The horse raised her head and then began to gallop

away over the mountain pasture towards the higher slopes

where the clouds were massing. She seemed to fly over the

long grass, and I feared for her, knowing the uneven ground

and the ridge that fell away into nothing. Then as I

watched, she blurred with the clouds and was gone. You

turned to look at me. "You're a brave man to put a rope on a

sky horse. You know she could have killed you."

"I tended her as I did you, knowing you were my

enemy. Remember, I was king, vessel of the sacred flame. I

give you leave to return to the one who sent you. You may

keep your life and your honour."

If I thought to scare you, I was wrong. You moved

more swiftly than I could and held me. I fought to get free

and my ancient robe ripped, exposing the scar that ran from

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

13

my shoulder down my back to my hip.

"Who did this to you? How can you fly, serpent,

with no wing?"

I tried to cover myself with the rags left to me.

Once, long ago, I'd worn coronation robes. "You saw for

yourself, I can't. That's why I left my kingdom. What use is

a wounded king?"

I walked past you into the cave, sat down by the fire

and held out my hands in a gesture of peace. "Will you hear

my story?"

You stood between me and the rain. I could tell you

were restless and eager to fulfil your mission and be gone.

But you couldn't be sure I was truly a danger to you. You

feared to shed innocent blood. I knew then you would

listen.

"Long ago I ruled over a kingdom by the sea. I had

a wife and a child. I also had a secret. Every seventh day I

withdrew to a cave under the castle, with those I loved to

guard and protect me. There was one I loved above all

others. I gave him the key to my refuge, and he swore a

solemn oath that he would never follow me or open the

door until I called him to me. My queen grew jealous— she

thought I betrayed her. She persuaded him, the youngest

and bravest of my knights, to break his vow and spy on me.

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

14

She lied to him, saying she feared I was in some danger and

he should protect me. He saw me in my altered form.

Knights are raised to slay dragons. He attacked me and

sheared the wing from my shoulder. After that I was

maimed."

"But this knight was too weak to slay you."

"No. When I was hurt I shifted back to my human

form. He should have killed me then, but he held his hand

and showed mercy to me. The serpent had left its venom in

his wounds. I couldn't heal him, so I sold his life to my

queen, knowing only her magic could save him. I gave her

the kingdom for his life. I offered her mine, but she would

not take it. I lived, but I was half mad with grief and pain.

In my fury and jealousy I unleashed a curse that drowned

my kingdom. I wandered for a long time until I came here.

The water from the stream healed me, as it did you, but it

couldn't restore what was lost. So I lived on. I dreamed that

one day you would remember and come looking for me."

"That I would remember?" You blinked in

confusion, and I saw doubt enter your mind like a shadow.

"I never saw you before."

You saw me three nights ago, but in my altered

shape I didn't know I hurt you. Aloud, I said, "I haven't

finished the story. Legend says when the king died the

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Sarah Ann Watts

15

serpent fled and took the heart of the kingdom with it. The

enchantress queen was angry with the knight because he

didn't kill the serpent and avenge the king. She bound him

in the shape of a tree to atone for his crimes until the king

he betrayed should cut him free of the living wood."

"You're lying!" You were shaking with fear and the

memory of torment and despair.

I spoke gently then. "Suppose you tell me your

story, as you remember it."

You shook your head as if to clear it. "It's true that

until recently I was caught in a snare. I was bound. I

couldn't breathe, couldn't feel— anything. My gentle lady

saved me. I was found by the queen's huntsmen and

brought to her in a net of gold. She tended me lovingly. I

owe my life to her grace. She told me a serpent caught me

in its coils and imprisoned me, a creature of water, burying

me in the earth beneath a tree. She said that she was sorry

for my pain but she did not have the power to break the

spell and set me free. The snake's venom ran deep in my

veins and I would die a slow and agonizing death. She said

that if I did as she told me, killed the serpent and brought

her the heart of the kingdom, then I could be free and return

to the waters I came from and find peace."

I should have liked to tell you that you were caught

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

16

in her spell, not mine, but I knew you would not listen. All

the same, I had to try to break it. "There is no heart of the

kingdom. There is only one heart she seeks. The heart I

couldn't give her because I had already given it. You don't

remember, do you?"

You passed your hand over your face and

shuddered. "I remember nothing except waking to pain and

the axe cutting into my flesh. I want revenge and to serve

my lady."

Revenge? You don't think that whoever took the axe

to free you from the earth deserves your thanks, not your

hate? I didn't say that to you— I didn't dare. I stared into

the fire, seeking images of the past. My thoughts were

bitter; foolish of me to think you could ever forgive me. I

knew that unless I could persuade you to go, we were both

doomed. Part of me welcomed that and part of me fought

against it.

"Why didn't you kill him?"

The question startled me. I raised my eyes from the

flames. "I'm sorry?"

"The young knight. You could have killed him

when he discovered you."

"He was the youngest and bravest of my knights

and the one I chose to guard me. I loved him."

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

17

"Did you ever tell him that?"

I shook my head. "No. He was a creature of water

like you, and I was a servant of fire. It's true, after the

serpent struck him there was venom in his wounds. I should

have killed him. I did worse. I let the witch keep him. It

was her twisted magic, binding his flesh to the tree until it

healed. She saved his life. I knew she'd be glad to take him

from me, and it was a price I was willing to pay. She loved

me once. I never thought she'd send him to kill me."

"I'm sorry," you said gently. "I think you believe

what you say, but living alone in the wild has turned your

wits. It is a hundred years since the king died, and surely

his bones are dust. Even if you were that man, and you

could live so long without aging, I have yet to see twenty

one summers. You mourn some other lover, and I am sorry

for your pain. For the sake of the care you gave me, I won't

harm you, but I will wait and kill the serpent when it

returns."

I laughed. "How long did you weep over a river,

your branches trailing like hair to reach the water you

longed for? What did it feel like to have your mouth

choked with earth and to feel life sprouting from you in the

shape of leaves that withered and died every year? No

wonder you remember nothing. You're like a child who

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

18

believes every lie simply because you are too afraid to go

looking for the truth."

You flushed then. "I could ask you a different

question. Once you say you ruled over a lost kingdom.

Now you share this cave with bats and beg for charity and

you have nothing. What does that feel like?"

"I'd rather beg for charity than rule over a kingdom

of the drowned."

You glared at me. "I'll stay and face the serpent

when it returns. I've sworn to kill it."

"I can't make you leave. I think it would be better

for both of us if you did. I have no power over you." So we

fought with words not swords.

You looked confused then and angry. The witch's

spell twisted and cut like a knife between us, severing the

past from the present. You were fated never to believe me.

I went to fetch my axe. Winter was coming and I

needed to stack dry wood at the back of the cave. There

was a good chance I wouldn't use it now, but at least it

might save the life of some future traveller, seeking refuge

in the snow.

When I came out carrying the axe, you flinched.

"You use that to cut wood? Where did you get it?"

For a moment I thought you'd recognized it, but

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

19

then I saw the blankness in your eyes.

I looked at you in despair. "I took it from a corpse."

True enough, if you didn't guess my meaning.

I'd said more than enough. I saw you hesitate,

remembering that you'd given your word not to harm me. I

went out, wondering if you would follow, but you let me

go.

I came back late with a dulled blade and a bundle of

firewood. Not enough to account for the length of my

absence, but I'd been delayed by my thoughts and a gift.

The villagers left food at the gate for those like me who

were outcast and tended the shrines of the old gods. It was

an offering to keep the serpent away from their homes and

livestock. Now I carried eggs and bread, and as you

watched, I lit the fire and began to cook for us. I took

solace in such a simple task, sharing a peasant supper with

you. I spared a wry smile for the days when we had feasted

together at a high table, when we had hunted together in the

royal forest and at night— but no, best not to remember

how I had longed for you but could never touch you,

knowing the flame that burned within me.

You took the plate from me and ate. I'd been

Heart of the Kingdom

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20

nursing the hope that maybe, finding only a ragged beggar

in place of a king, you might decide to move on and leave

me in peace, look for the serpent elsewhere, but I was

forgetting the vow that bound you. You were in thrall to

your pale mistress and could not go, even if you wanted to.

At the end of our simple meal you took the plates

and went to the stream to wash them. The light was fading

so I lit the lamp, and when you didn't return I went looking

for you. The plates lay on the bank, clean and dry beside a

pile of your discarded clothes. You had left your sword

standing in the earth like a cross to mark the spot. I couldn't

believe that you would have left it there for anyone to find

and use against you. So I took it to keep it safe. It was

concern, I told myself, that made me follow you through

the trees down to the pool again. I remembered seeing you

long ago, bathing in the moonlight, standing naked in the

pool, cloaked in your dark hair and laughing at me.

You'd called to me to join you, and I'd stood there,

hesitating, not daring to follow. I'd fled in shame from the

hurt in your eyes when you thought I had rejected you.

Tonight, I thought I didn't care. If you gave me a second

chance, I'd go to you and not care what the water did to me.

I could only die once, and I was beginning to feel I had

lived long enough without you.

Heart of the Kingdom

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21

The moon was shrouded in clouds. The briars tore

at the cloak I wore, and the nettles stung me. When I came

out of the woods I saw the surface of the pool was dark.

There was no sign of you, but there was a richly

caparisoned horse grazing at the edge of the pool.

I drew close to the horse; it seemed skittish and

nervous. I caught hold of the bridle with soft words and,

although the horse stood trembling, it let me mount it. I

leaned forward to pat its neck, and the horse raised its head

from the pool. A jewelled scabbard hung from the saddle,

and the sword slid into it as if it had been made for it.

The horse turned its head to look at me, eyes liquid

pearl as the moon came out from behind the clouds. The

scabbard lay close to my hand. I could have drawn the

sword and sliced quickly, severing the main artery in the

neck, but I could not do it. Instead I laughed, accepting the

adventure. I grasped the dark mane, leaving the reins idle

and said, "Take me where you will. I care not."

The horse whinnied gently; it was trembling, and

then, so suddenly that I was nearly unseated, set off at a

gallop heading downstream. It was a while since I had

ridden and I was hampered by the healer's robe I wore, yet I

dug in my bare heels and yelled, "Go!" letting the horse

take control.

Heart of the Kingdom

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22

In truth I had no sense of destination, and although I

kept my hands and feet still now, the horse galloped as if

pursued, keeping always to the bank of the river.

Then we rode through the mists and passed beneath

a waterfall into a different world where I saw a castle of

glass. I tried to slip from the horse's back, but something

like weeds from the river bound me, and so it was that I

rode across a bridge of ice and was delivered into the hands

of my enemy.

The weeds twisted around me, guards surrounded

me, dragged me from the horse and took me to a cave lined

with ice deep beneath the castle. There was a constant flow

of water from a subterranean stream, and water dripped

from the ceiling. I had this curious idea that the water

would drip on me until I became stone and was quite

forgotten. In this place of water my fire flickered and died,

and I was no more than human. My robe was ragged and

torn now— dripping and hardly covering my shivering

nakedness. There was a splinter of ice in my heart. I knew

that, left in this cave, I would die. Once I might have cursed

you for betraying me. Instead I cursed myself that I had lost

you again. Mostly I shivered and just waited for my heart to

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

23

freeze.

It was quite dark and there was no sound but the

dripping of water from the ice. I wondered what might

happen when the snows melted —if the cave would fill

with water and I would drown— but I didn't think I'd live

until spring.

Many hours later I saw the light of a pale, watery

torch. The door opened and you came in —black mane of

hair down your back— covered in the silver scales of your

armour. I tried to stand, but the ice held me and I couldn't

break free. My hands were still bound with river weeds,

and there were tears frozen on my eyes. You reached for

me and pulled me free, and the ice cracked and broke at

your touch.

"I'm sorry," you said. I couldn't reply.

I was hurried along corridors of snow, and finally

the ice walls began to melt as we reached the heart of the

queen's court and my altered kingdom. You placed a

helmet on my head so I could breathe. Fish swam among

the broken columns of the sunken throne room.

My former queen sat on her throne in her natural

form, bare-breasted with a king's ransom in precious gems

bound around her slender throat. Her silver hair floated

around her, and you fell to your knees. I had forgotten how

Heart of the Kingdom

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24

beautiful she was, yet hers was a cold beauty with nothing

warm and human in it.

"Pressnyne." I bowed my head.

"Elynas."

"Have you seen your broken kingdom and what you

did to your people?"

I suppose it had been a puny revenge on my part to

make the curse stick and hurl her and my fickle court back

to the depths they came from. I wouldn't give her the

satisfaction of knowing that I had hurt myself more than I

could ever hurt her. The tide ebbed around us, flowing from

the throne room to expose the sea-wracked ruin of my

former court. I lifted the helmet from my head and cast it

into the shallows. "What do you want from me?"

"I wanted you dead. This faithless knight disobeyed

my command. He was sent to kill you and cut out your

heart."

They dragged you forward and fastened a silver

chain to the torque you wore at your throat. A gift that

once, long ago, I had given you to show the love of a king

to a loyal knight.

She smiled at me, and then I saw that tears like

pearls spilled from her eyes. "Tell me, Elynas, why does he

always love you and betray me?"

Heart of the Kingdom

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25

I shook my head. "I don't know. He doesn't

remember me. Your spell made sure of that. Killing me —

cutting out my heart— won't save the kingdom from my

curse."

She looked at me, considering, and already I'd said

too much.

"What would save the kingdom? Can you break

your curse?"

"I could, but why should I?" I spat the words at her,

hating my helplessness and that she held you against me.

She leaned forward on her shell throne and smiled

at me. "For Melior. To save his life."

"Melior is yours, not mine. If I break my own curse,

I die."

"Then you have nothing to lose. You'll die anyway.

You can give back the flame or I will take the wood that

held Melior's soul and burn it on the altar in the temple of

fire. He'll die for you."

So she gave me a choice that was no choice at all.

"What kind of a monster are you?"

She stood up then, and her silver hair fell to her

knees. "You ask me that? You never cared about anyone

but yourself. You didn't love me enough to trust me, even

though you always knew my secret. You stole this kingdom

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26

from me. You don't love Melior either. Why did you take

your axe to the tree that held his life? How could you give

him to me as you did? You knew I'd hurt him and use him

against you. That was always going to be my revenge. How

many died for your kingdom, Elynas? You're like a child

playing with fire— strike a light and let the whole world

burn."

Her words hit me like a lash. I knew she was right

and I was an adventurer who had snatched my fate from the

gods. I bowed my head, accepting her verdict. "You can

keep the kingdom. Set me free, and I'll break the curse. Just

give me Melior, and all I had is yours."

Pressnyne shook her head. "All that you took was

already mine. You still don't understand. I can't give you

Melior. It took the strongest enchantment I had just to make

him forget you, and even then your fire melted the ice I'd

set around his heart. Now he is free of both of us. He can

choose to go with you, to stay here with me, or to go where

he wishes." She turned to you, "Melior, I give you my

solemn promise. When the curse is broken you will be

free."

"Heart of the kingdom," I said. You were always

that to me.

Your hair trailed on the floor, the hollows in the

Heart of the Kingdom

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27

rocks filling with water where you knelt. You didn't look at

me. Pressnyne held the silver chain that shackled you and

smiled at me. I thought there would be triumph in her eyes,

but then I saw she looked sad and older. I made up my

mind then to try to atone for the grief I had caused.

"Take me to the temple of fire."

That was where I had received worship and

sacrifice in the days when I was king. I knew that to restore

the kingdom I needed to give back the flame that was

within me— the sacred fire I had stolen from the sanctuary

so long ago. I knelt before the altar and held out my hands.

Then I let out my breath, kindling flames on my palms that

burned brightly but did not consume me. I let the flame fly

from my hands to the pattern etched on the temple floor.

The flames ran in flickering lines and coalesced in the

stones of power until finally the symbol of the dragon

glowed again on the altar and I was left with the ashes of

my mortality.

The curse was broken. The waters receded from the

lost kingdom and returned to the sea. When the city was

restored, my people unbound me and escorted me to the

gates through a city thronged with a quiet crowd. The gods

had marked me and no one would touch me.

They closed the gates behind me, and the mists

Heart of the Kingdom

Sarah Ann Watts

28

came down on the kingdom of the sea. I knew that I could

never return. After many days of lonely wanderings, I

found my way back to the cave where I will grow old and

die. But I have a life to live through first. I'd tried to run

away from death and change my nature, but in the end I

found that the death I'd tried to escape would follow me

and my heart was no longer flame. I was mortal and could

love without destroying my lovers, but I was forever alone.

Until today when I looked into the pool and saw

your face, not my own. I leaned forward, trying to touch

my lips to yours and reach for you, and your hands fell on

my shoulders, pulling me back. Even then I would have

drowned rather than lose you again, but you were always

stronger than me. You held me, and I knew I would never

let you go.

The End

About the Author

Sarah Ann Watts is a UK writer who writes fantasy,

science fiction, and romance. She lives in Yorkshire with

her family and grew up in a small seaside town with a

library and a bookshop. Early influences included Mary

Renault, Mary Stewart, and a teacher who encouraged her

to write. The rest is fiction.

Webpage:

www.sarahannwatts.com

Facebook:

http://en-gb.facebook.com/people/Sarah-Ann-

Watts/1440260200

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/#!/trismerlin

Email:

[e-mail]

Also by Sarah Ann Watts

Available at Silver Publishing:

Heart of the Kingdom

Available at All Romance Ebooks:

A Brush of Wings anthology

Available at Bridge House Publishing:

100 Stories for Haiti