"Becarefulwhatyouofferme..
"You...makeitsoundlikeathreat,"shebreathed.
"Itisathreat,Amanda,"Quinnreplied."Youcouldstartsomethingyoumightnotwant
tofinish."
Shebitherlowerlipnervously.Helookedmorematureandformidablethanheever
hadbefore,andshecouldfeelthebanked-downfiresinhimkindlingevenasheheld
her.
"Okay,"shesaidafteraminute.
Helethergoandmovedaway,thenturnedandgaveheralong,speculativelook.
''It'sallright,"shemuttered,embarrassed."Iwon'tattackyouwhileyourbackis
turned."
Heliftedaneyebrow,buthedidn'tsmile."Youcrazedfemalesexmaniac,"he
murmured.
"Goody-two-shoes,"sheshotback.
ToBarryCallof
CharbonsinGainesville,GA
Manythanks
SILHOUETTEBOOKS300E.42ndSt.,NewYork,N.Y.10017
Copyright©1989byDianaPalmer
Allrightsreserved.Exceptforuseinanyreview,thereproductionorutilizationofthisworkinwhole
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ISBN:0-373-08670-9
FirstSilhouetteBooksprintingSeptember1989
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®:TrademarkusedunderlicenseandregisteredintheUnitedStatesPatentandTrademarkOfficeand
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BooksbyDianaPalmer
SilhouetteRomanceSilhouetteDesire
DarlingEnemy#254TheCowboyandtheLady#12
RoomfulofRoses#301SeptemberMorning#26
HeartofIce#314FriendsandLovers#50
PassionFlower#328FireandIce#80
SoldierofFortune#340SnowKisses#102
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"Calhoun#580TheTenderStranger#230
*Justin#592LovebyProxy#252
*Tyler#604EyeoftheTiger#271
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*LONG,TALLTEXANSFitforaKing§349
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SilhouetteSpecialEditionEnamored#420
Heather ’sSong#33ReluctantFather#469
TheAustralian#239
Hoodwinked#492
SilhouetteChristmasStories1987"
TheHumbugMan"
DIANAPALMER
isaprolificromancewriterwhogotherstartasanewspaperreporter.Accustomedtothedaily
deadlinesofajournalist,shehasnoproblemwithwriter'sblock.Infact,sheaveragesabookevery
twomonths.Motherofayoungson,Dianametandmarriedherhusbandwithinoneweek:"Itwasjust
likesomethingfromoneofmybooks."
ChapterOne
Thenoiseoutsidethecabinwasthereagain,andAmandashiftedrestlesslywiththenovelinherlap,
curledupinabigarmchairbytheopenfireplaceinanIndianrug.Untilnow,thecabinhadbeen
paradise.Therewasthreefeetofnewsnowoutside,shehadallthesuppliessheneededtogether
throughthenextfewwinteryweeksofWyomingweather,andtherewasn'tatelephoneintheplace.
Bestofall,therewasn'taneighbor.
Well,therewas,actually.Butnobodyintheirrightmindwouldrefertothatmanonthemountainasa
neighbor.Amandahadonlyseenhimonceandoncewasenough.
She'dmethim,iftheirhead-onencountercouldbereferredtoasameeting,onasnowySaturday
lastweek.QuinnSutton'smajesticranchhouseoverlookedthiscabinnestledagainstthe
mountainside.He'dbeenoutinthesnowonahorse-drawnsledthatcontainedhugesquarebalesof
hay,andhewasheavingthemlikefeatherpillowstoasmallherdofred-and-whitecattle.Thesight
hadtouchedAmanda,becauseitindicatedconcern.Thetall,wiryrancheroutinablizzardfeedinghis
starvingcattle.She'devensmiledatthetenderpictureitmade.
Andthenshe'dstoppedherfour-wheel-drivevehicleandstuckherblondheadoutthewindowtoask
directionstotheBlalockDurningplace,whichwasthecabinoneofheraunt'sfriendswasloaning
her.Andthetenderpicturedissolvedintostarkhostility.
Thetallrancherturnedtowardherwiththecoldestblackeyesandthehardestfaceshe'deverseen
inherlife.Hehadaday'sgrowthofstubble,butthestubbledidn'tbegintocoverupthefrank
homelinessofhisleanface.Hehadamazinglyhighcheekbones,abroadforeheadandajuttingchin,
andhelookedasifsomeonehadtakenastraightrazortoonesideofhisface,whichhadawide
scratch.NoneofthatbotheredAmandabecauseHankShoemanandtheotherthreemenwhomade
musicwithhergroupwereevenuglierthanQuinnSutton.ButatleastHankandtheboyscouldsmile.
Thismanlookedasifheinventedtheblackscowl.
"Isaid,"she'drepeatedwithgrowingnervousness,"canyoutellmehowtogettoBlalockDurning's
cabin?"
Abovethesheepskincoat,underthebatteredgrayranchhat,QuinnSutton'stannedfacedidn'tmove
amuscle."Followtheroad,turnleftatthelodge-poles,"he'dsaidtersely,hisvoiceasdeepasa
rumbleofthunder.
"Lodgepoles?"she'dfaltered."YoumeanIndianlodgepoles?Whatdotheylooklike?"
"Lady,"hesaidwithexaggeratedpatience,"alodgepoleisapinetree.It'stallandpiney,andthere
areastandofthematthenextforkintheroad."
"Youdon'tneedtoberude,Mr...?"
"Sutton,"hesaidtersely."QuinnSutton."
"Nicetomeetyou,"shemurmuredpolitely."I'mAmanda."Shewonderedifanyonemight
accidentallyrecognizeherhereinthebackofbeyond,andontheoffchance,shegavehermother's
maidennameinsteadofherownlastname."AmandaCorrie,"sheaddeduntruthfully."I'mgoingto
stayinthecabinforafewweeks."
"Thisisn'tthetouristseason,"he'dsaidwithouttheslightestpretenseatfriendliness.Hisblackeyes
cutherlikeswords.
"Good,becauseI'mnotatourist,"shesaid.
"Don'tlooktomeforhelpifyourunoutofwoodorstarthearingthingsinthedark,"headded
coldly."SomebodywilltellyoueventuallythatIhavenousewhatsoeverforwomen.''
Whileshewasthinkingupareplytothat,ayoungboyofabouttwelvehadcomerunningupbehind
thesled.
"Dad!"hecalled,amazinglyenoughtoQuinnSutton."There'sacowincalfdowninthenext
pasture.Ithinkit'sabreech!"
"Okay,son,hopon,"hetoldtheboy,andhisvoicehadbecomefleetinglysoft,almosttender.He
lookedbackatAmanda,though,andthesoftnesslefthim."Keepyourdoorlockedatnight,"he'dsaid.
"Unlessyou'reexpectingDurningtojoinyou,"headdedwithamockingsmile.
She'dstaredathimfromeyesasblackashisownandstartedtotellhimthatshedidn'tevenknowMr.
Durning,whowasheraunt'sfriend,nothers.Butshebithertongue.Itwouldn'tdotogivethismanan
opening."I'lldothatlittlething,"sheagreed.Sheglancedattheboy,whowaseyeinghercuriously
fromhisperchonthesled."Anditseemsthatyoudohaveatleastoneuseforwomen,"sheadded
withavacantsmile."Mycondolencestoyourwife,Mr.Sutton."
She'drolledupthewindowbeforehecouldspeakandshe'dwhippedthefour-wheel-drivedownthe
roadwithlittleregardforsafety,slidingallovertheplaceontheslickandruttedcountryroad.
Sheglaredintotheflames,consigningQuinnSuttontothemwithallherangryheart.Shehoped
andprayedthattherewouldn'teverbeanaccidentorareasonshe'dhavetoseekouthiscompany.
She'dratherhaveaskedhelpfromapassingtimberwolf.Hissonhadn'tseemedatalllikehim,she
recalled.Suttonwasasdangerouslookingasatimberwolf,withafacelikethesideofabombed
mountainandeyesthatwerecoal-blackandcruel.Inthesheepskincoathe'dbeenwearingwiththat
raunchyStetsonthatday,he'dlookedlikeoneoftheoldmountainmenmighthavebackin
Wyoming'searlydays.He'dgivenAmandasomebadmomentsandshe'dhatedhimafterthat
uncomfortableconfrontation.Buttheboyhadbeenkind.Hewasredheadedandblue-eyed,nothing
likehisfather,notabitofresemblance.
Sheknewtherancher'snameonlybecauseheraunthadmentionedhim,andcautionedAmandaabout
goingneartheSuttonranch.TheranchwascalledRicochet,andAmandahadimmediatelythoughtof
abulletgoingawry.ProbablyoneofSutton'sancestorshadthrownsomeleadnowandagain.Mr.
Suttonlookedalotmorelikeabanditthanhedidarancher,withhisfaceunshaven,thatwide,awful
scrapeonhis
cheekandhiscrookednose.Itwasanunforgettable
faceallaround,especiallythoseeyes
ShepulledtheIndianrugcloserandgavethebookinherslenderhandacarelessglance.Shewasn't
reallyinthemoodtoread.Memorieskepttearingherheart.Sheleanedherblondheadbackagainst
thechairandherdarkeyesstudiedtheflameswithidleappreciationoftheirbeauty.
Thenightmareofthepastfewweekshadfinallycaughtupwithher.She'dstoodonstage,withthe
lightsbeatingdownonherlongblondhairandoutliningthebeigeleatherdressthatwasher
trademark,andhervoicehadsimplyrefusedtocooperate.Theshockofbeingunabletoproducea
singlenotehadcausedhertofaint,totheshockandhorroroftheaudience.
Shecametoinahospital,whereshe'dbeengivenwhatseemedtobeeverytestknowntomedical
science.Butnothingwouldproducehersingingvoice,eventhoughshecouldtalk.Itwas,thedoctor
toldher,purelyapsychologicalproblem,causedbythetraumaofwhathadhappened.Sheneeded
rest.
SoHank,whowastheleaderofthegroup,hadcalledherAuntBessandconvincedhertoarrangefor
Amandatogetawayfromitall.Heraunt'srichboyfriendhadthisholidaycabininWyoming'sGrand
TetonMountainsandwasmorethanwillingtoSetAmandarecuperatethere.Amandahadprotested,
butHankandtheboysandheraunthadinsisted.Sohereshewas,inthemiddleofwinter,inseveral
feetofsnow,withnotelevision,notelephoneandfacilitiesthatbarelyworked.Roughingit,thebig,
beardedbandleaderhadtoldher,woulddohergood.
Shesmiledwhensherememberedhowcaringandkindtheguyshadbeen.Hergroupwascalled
Desperado,andherleathercostumewasitstrademark.Thefourmenwhomadeuptherestofitwere
finemusicians,buttheylookedliketheHell'sAngelsonstageindenimandleatherwiththickblack
beardsandmustachesanduntrimmedhair.Theywerereallypussycatsunderthatroughexterior,but
nobodyhadeverbeengameenoughtotrytofindoutiftheywere.
HankandDekeandJackandJohnsonhadbeentryingtogetworkataVirginianightspotwhen
they'drunintoAmandaCorrieCallaway,whowasalsotryingtogetworkthere.Theclubneededa
singerandaband,soitwasamatchmadeinheaven,althoughAmandawithhershelteredupbringing
hadbeenalittleafraidofhernewbackupband.They,ontheotherhand,hadbeennervousaroundher
becauseshewassuchafarcryfromtheusualsingersthey'dworkedwith.Theshy,introvertedyoung
blondemadethemself-consciousabouttheirappearance.Buttheirfirstperformancetogetherhad
beenaphenomenalhit,andthey'dbeentogetherfouryearsnow.
Theywerefamous,now.Desperadohadbeenonthemusicvideosfortwoyears,they'ddone
televisionshowsandmagazineinterviews,andtheywererecognizedeverywheretheywent.
EspeciallyAmanda,whowentbythestagenameofMandyCallaway.Itwasn'tabadlife,anditwas
makingthemrich.Buttherewasn'tmuchrestortimeforapersonallife.Noneofthegroupwas
marriedexceptHank,andhewasalreadygettingadivorce.Itwashardforahomeboundspouseto
acceptthefrequentabsencesthatroadtoursrequired.
ShestillshiveredfromthelookQuinnSuttonhadgivenher,andnowshewasworriedaboutherAunt
Bess,thoughthewomanwasmoreliberalmindedandshouldknowthescore.ButSuttonhad
convincedAmandathatshewasn'tthefirstwomantobeatBlalock'scabin.Sheshouldhavetoldthat
arrogantrancherwhatherrealrelationshipwithBlalockDurningwas,butheprobablywouldn'thave
believedher.
Ofcourse,shecouldhaveputhimintouchwithJerryandprovedit.JerryAllen,theirroad
manager,wasoneofthebestinthebusiness.He'dkeptthemfromstarvingduringthebeginning,and
theyhadanexpertcrewofelectriciansandcarpenterswhomadeuptherestoftheretinue.Ittooka
hugebustocarrythepeopleandequipment,appropriatelycalledthe"OutlawExpress."
AmandahadpleadedwithJerrytogivethemafewweeksrestafterthetragedythathadcostherher
nerve,buthe'drefused.Getbackonthehorse,he'dadvised.Andshe'dtried.Butthememorieswere
justtoohorrible.
Sofinallyhe'dagreedtoHank'ssuggestionandshewasofficiallyonhiatus,asweretheother
membersofthegroup,foramonth.Maybeinthatlengthoftimeshecouldcometogripswithit,face
it.
Ithadbeenaweekandshefeltbetteralready.Orshewould,ifthosestrangenoisesoutsidethecabin
wouldjuststop!Shehadhorriblevisionsofwolvesbreakinginandeatingher.
"Hello?"
Thesmallvoicestartledher.Itsoundedlikeaboy's.Shegotup,clutchingthefirepokerinherhand
andwenttothefrontdoor."Who'sthere?"shecalledouttersely.
"It'sjustme.Elliot,"hesaid."ElliotSutton."
Sheletoutabreathbetweenherteeth.Oh,no,shethoughtmiserably,whatwashedoinghere?His
fatherwouldcomelookingforhim,andshecouldn'tbeartohavethat...thatsavageanywhere
around!
"Whatdoyouwant?"shegroaned.
"Ibroughtyousomething."
Itwouldbediscourteoustorefusethegift,sheguessed,especiallysincehe'dapparentlycome
throughseveralfeetofsnowtobringit.Whichbroughttomindareallyinterestingquestion:where
washisfather?
Sheopenedthedoor.Hegrinnedatherfromunderathickcapthatcoveredhisredhair.
"Hi,"hesaid."Ithoughtyoumightliketohavesomeroastedpeanuts.Ididthemmyself.They're
niceonacoldnight."
Hereyeswentpasthimtoasledhitchedtoasturdydrafthorse."Didyoucomeinthat?"sheasked,
recognizingthesledheandhisfatherhadbeenridingthedayshe'dmetthem.
"Sure,"hesaid."That'showwegetaroundinwinter,whatwiththesnowandall.Wetakehayoutto
thelivestockonit.Youremember,yousawus.Well,weusuallytakehayoutonit,thatis.WhenDad's
notlaidup,"headdedpointedly,andhisblueeyessaidmorethanhisvoicedid.
Sheknewshewasgoingtoregretaskingthequestionbeforesheopenedhermouth.Shedidn'twant
toask.Butnoyoungboycametoastranger'shouseinthemiddleofasnowynightjusttodelivera
bagofroastedpeanuts.
"What'swrong?"sheaskedwithresignedperception.
Heblinked."What?"
"Isaid,what'swrong?"Shemadehertonegentler.Hecouldn'thelpitthathisfatherwasasavage,
andhewasworriedunderthatfalsegrin."Comeon,youmightaswelltellme."
Hebithislowerlipandlookeddownathissnow-coveredboots."It'smydad,"hesaid."He'sbadsick
andhewon'tletmegetthedoctor."
Sothereitwas.Sheknewsheshouldn’thaveasked."Can'tyourmotherdosomething?"sheasked
hopefully.
"MymomranoffwithMr.JacksonfromthelivestockassociationwhenIwasjustalittlefeller,"he
replied,registeringAmanda'sshockedexpression."SheandDadgotdivorcedandshediedsome
yearsago,butDaddoesn'ttalkabouther.Willyoucome,miss?"
"I'mnotadoctor,"shesaid,hesitating.
"Oh,sure,Iknowthat,"heagreedeagerly,"butyou'reagirl.Andgirlsknowhowtotakecareof
sickfolks,don'tthey?"Theconfidenceslidawayandhelookedlikewhathewas—aterrifiedlittle
boywithnobodytoturnto."Please,lady,"headded."I'mscared.He'shotandshakingalloverand
—!"
"I'llgetmybootson,"shesaid.Shegatheredthemfrombesidethefireplaceandtuggedthemon,and
thenshewentforacoatandstuffedherlongblondhairunderastockingcap."Doyouhavecough
syrup,aspirins,throatlozenges—thatsortofthing?"
"Yes,ma'am,"hesaideagerly,thensighed."Dadwon'ttakethem,butwehavethem."
"Ishesuicidal?"Amandaaskedangrilyasshewentoutthedoorbehindhimandlockedthecabin
beforesheclimbedonthesledwiththeboy.
"Wellsometimesthingsgettohim,"heventured."Buthedoesn'tevergetsick,andhewon'tadmitthat
heis.Buthe'soutofhisheadandI'mscared.He'sallIgot."
"We'lltakecareofhim,"shepromised,andhopedshecoulddeliveronthepromise."Let'sgo."
"DoyouknowMr.Durningwell?"heaskedashecalledtothedrafthorseandstartedhimback
downtheroadandupthemountaintowardtheSuttonhouse.
"He'ssortofafriendofarelativeofmine,"shesaidevasively.Thesledridewasfun,andshewas
enjoyingthecoldwindandsnowinherface,thedeliciousmountainair."I'monlystayingatthecabin
forafewweeks.Justtimeto...getoversomething."
"Haveyoubeensick,too?"heaskedcuriously.
"Inaway,"shesaidnoncommittally.
Thesledwentjerkilyuptheroad,aroundthesteephill.Sheheldontightandhopedthebigdraft
horsehadsteadyfeet.Itwasaharrowingrideatthelast,andthentheywereup,andthehugeredwood
ranchhousecameintosight,blazingwithlightfromitslong,widefrontporchtothegabledroof.
"It'sabeautifulhouse,"Amandasaid.
"Mydadaddedontoitformymom,beforethey
married,"hetoldher.Heshrugged."Idon'tremem-
bermuchabouther,exceptshewasredheaded.Dad
surehateswomen."Heglancedatherapologetically.
"He'snotgoingtolikemebringingyou___"
"Icantakecareofmyself,"shereturned,andsmiledreassuringly."Let'sgoseehowbaditis."
"I'llgetHarrytoputupthehorseandsled,"hesaid,yellingtowardthelightedbarnuntilagrizzled
oldmanappeared.AfterabriefintroductiontoAmanda,Harryleftandtookthehorseaway.
"Harry'sbeenheresinceDadwasaboy,"Elliottoldherasheledherdownabare-woodhalland
upasteepstaircasetothesecondstoreyofthehouse."Hedoesmosteverything,evencooksforthe
men."Hepausedoutsideacloseddoor,andgaveAmandaaworriedlook."He'llyellforsure."
"Let'sgetitoverwith,then."
SheletElliotopenthedoorandlookinfirst,tomakesurehisfatherhadsomethingon.
"He'sstillinhisjeans,"hetoldher,smilingassheblushed."It'sokay."
Sheclearedherthroat.Somuchforpretendedsophistication,shethought,andhereshewastwenty-
fouryearsold.SheavoidedElliot'sgrinandwalkedintotheroom.
QuinnSuttonwassprawledonhisstomach,hisbaremusculararmsstretchedtowardthe
headboard.Hisbackgleamedwithsweat,andhisthick,blackhairwasdampwithmoisture.Sinceit
wasn'thotintheroom,Amandadecidedthathemusthaveahighfever.Hewasmoaningandtalking
unintelligibly.
"Elliot,canyougetmeabasinandsomehotwater?"sheasked.Shetookoffhercoatandrolledup
thesleevesofhercottonblouse.
"Surething,"Elliottoldher,andrushedoutoftheroom.
"Mr.Sutton,canyouhearme?"Amandaaskedsoftly.Shesatdownbesidehimonthebed,and
lightlytouchedhisbareshoulder.Hewashot,allright—burningup."Mr.Sutton,"shecalledagain.
"No,"hemoaned."No,youcan'tdoit...!"
"Mr.Sutton..."
Herolledoverandhisblackeyesopened,glazedwithfever,butAmandabarelynoticed.Hereyes
wereontherestofhim,maleperfectionfromshouldertonarrowhips.Hewasdarklytanned,too,
andthick,blackhairwedgedfromhischestdownhisflatstomachtothewidebeltathiships.
Amanda,whowasremarkablyinnocentnotonlyforherage,butforherprofessionaswell,stared
likeastar-struckgirl.Hewasbeautiful,shethought,amazedattheelegantlinesofhisbody,atthe
rippleofmuscleandthesmooth,glisteningskin.
"Whatthehelldoyouwant?"herasped.
Somuchforheroworship,shethoughtdryly.Sheliftedhereyesbacktohis."Elliotwasworried,"
shesaidquietly."Hecameandgotme.Pleasedon'tfussathim.You'reragingwithfever."
"Damnthefever,getout,"hesaidinatonethatmighthavestoppedachargingwolf.
"Ican'tdothat,"shesaid.SheturnedherheadtowardthedoorwhereElliotappearedwithabasin
fullofhotwaterandatowelandwashclothoveronearm.
"Hereyouare,lady,"hesaid."Hi,Dad,"headdedwithawansmileathisfuriousfather."Youcan
beatmewhenyou'reableagain."
"Don'tthinkIwon't,"Quinngrowled.
"There,there,you'rejustfeverishandsick,Mr.Sutton,"Amandasoothed.
"GetHarryandhavehimthrowheroffmyland,"QuinntoldElliotinafuriousvoice.
"Howaboutsomeaspirin,Elliot,andsomethingforhimtodrink?Asmallwhiskeyandsomething
hot—"
"Idon'tdrinkwhiskey,"Quinnsaidharshly.
"Hehasaglassofwinenowandthen,"Elliotventured.
"Wine,then."Shesoakedtheclothinthebasin."Andyoumightturnuptheheat.Wedon'twanthim
tocatchachillwhenIspongehimdown."
"Youdamnedwellaren'tspongingmedown!"Quinnraged.
Sheignoredhim."Goandgetthosethings,please,Elliot,andthecoughsyrup,too."
"Youbet,lady!"hesaidgrinning.
"MynameisAmanda,"shesaidabsently.
"Amanda,"theboyrepeated,andwentbackdownstairs.
"GodhelpyouwhenIgetbackonmyfeet,"Quinnsaidwithfury.Helaidbackonthepillow,
shiveringwhenshetouchedhimwiththecloth."Don't...!"
"Icouldfryaneggonyou.Ihavetogetthefeverdown.Elliotsaidyouweredelirious."
"Elliot'sdelirioustoletyouinhere,"heshuddered.Herfingersaccidentallybrushedhisflat
stomachandhearched,shivering."ForGod'ssake,don't,"hegroaned.
"Doesyourstomachhurt?"sheasked,concerned."I'msorry."Shesoakedtheclothagainandrubbed
itagainsthisshoulders,hisarms,hisface.
Hisblackeyesopened.Hewasbreathingroughly,andhisfacewastaut.Thefever,sheimagined.She
brushedbackherlonghair,andwishedshe'dtieditup.Itkeptflowingdownontohisdampchest.
"Damnyou,"hegrowled.
"Damnyou,too,Mr.Sutton."Shesmiledsweetly.Shefinishedbathinghisfaceandputtheclothand
basinaside."Doyouhavealong-sleevedshirt?"
"Getout!"
Elliotcamebackwiththemedicineandasmallglassofwine."Harry'smakinghotchocolate,"he
saidwithasmile."He'llbringitup.Here'stheotherstuff."
"Good,"shesaid."Doesyourfatherhaveapa-jamajacketorsomethinglong-sleeved?""Sure!"
"Traitor,"Quinngroanedathisson.
"Hereyougo."Elliothandedheraflanneltop,whichsheproceededtoputontheprotestingand
veryangryMr.Sutton.
"Ihateyou,"Quinnsnappedatherwithhislastounceofvenom.
"Ihateyou,too,"sheagreed.Shehadtoreacharoundhimtogetthejacketon,anditbroughther
intomuchtoocloseproximitytohim.Shecouldfeelthehaironhischestrubbingagainsthersoft
cheek,shecouldfeelherownhairsmoothingoverhisbareshoulderandchest.Odd,thatshivery
feelingshegotfromcontactwithhim.Sheignoreditforciblyandgothisotherarmintothepajama
jacket.Shefastenedit,tryingtokeepherfingersfromtouchinghischestanymorethannecessary
becausethefeelofthatpeltofhairdisturbedher.Heshiveredviolentlyatthetouchofherhandsand
herlong,silkyhair,andsheassumeditwasbecauseofhisfever.
"Areyoufinished?"Quinnaskedharshly.
"Almost."Shepulledthecoversoverhim,foundtheelectric-blanketcontrolandturnediton.Then
sheladledcoughsyrupintohim,gavehimaspirinandhadhimtakeasipofwine,hopingthatshe
wasn'toverdosinghimintheprocess.Butthecaffeineinthehotchocolatewouldprobablycounteract
thewineandkeepitfromdoinganydamageincombinationwiththemedicine.Asipofwinewasn't
likelytobethatdangerousanyway,anditmighthelpthesorethroatshewassurehehad.
"Here'sthecocoa,"Harrysaid,joiningthemwithatrayofmugsfilledwithhotchocolateand
toppedwithwhippedcream.
"Thatlooksdelicious.Thankyousomuch,"Amandasaid,andsmiledshylyattheoldman.
Hegrinnedback."Nicetobeappreciated."HeglaredatQuinn."Nobodyelseeversayssomuchasa
thank-you!"
"It'shardtothankamanforfoodpoisoning,"Quinnrejoinedweakly.
"Heain'tgoingtodie,"Harrysaidasheleft."He'stoodamnedmean."
"That'safact,"Quinnsaidandclosedhiseyes.
Hewasasleepalmostinstantly.Amandadrewupachairandsatdownbesidehim.He'dstillneed
lookingafter,andpresumablytheboywenttoschool.ItwaspasttheChristmasholidays.
"Yougotoschool,don'tyou?"sheaskedElliot.
Henodded."Iridethehorseouttocatchthebusandthenturnhimloose.Hecomestothebarnby
himself.You'restaying?"
"I'dbetter,Iguess,"shesaid."I'llsitwithhim.Hemaygetworseinthenight.He'sgottoseea
doctortomorrow.Isthereonearoundhere?"
"There'sDr.Jamesintown,inHolmanthatis,"hesaid."He'llcomeoutifDad'sbadenough.Hehas
acancerpatientdowntheroadandhecomestocheckonhereveryfewdays.Hecouldstopbythen."
"We'llseehowyourfatherisfeeling.You'dbettergettobed,"shesaidandsmiledathim.
"Thankyouforcoming,Miss...Amanda,"Elliotsaid.Hesighed."Idon'tthinkI'veeverbeenso
scared."
"It'sokay,"shesaid."Ididn'tmind.Goodnight,Elliot."
Hesmiledather."Goodnight."
Hewentoutandclosedthedoor.Amandasatback
inherchairandlookedatthesleepingfaceofthewild
man.Heseemedvulnerablelikethis,withhisblack
eyesclosed.Hehadthethickestlashesshe'deverseen,
andhiseyebrowswerethickandwellshapedabovehis
deep-seteyes.Hismouthwasratherthin,butitwas
perfectlyshaped,andthefulllowerlipwassensuous.
Shelikedthatjuttingchin,withitshintofstubborn-
ness.Hisnosewasformidableandstraight,andhe
wasn'tthatbadlooking...asleep.Perhapsitwasthe
coldnessofhiseyesthatmadehimseemsomuch
rougherwhenhewasawake.Notthathelookedthat
unintimidatingevennow.Hehadsomanycoarse
edges__
Shewaitedafewminutesandtouchedhisforehead.Itwasalittlecooler,thankGod,somaybehewas
goingtobebetterbymorning.Shewentintothebathroomandwashedherfaceandwentbacktosit
byhim.Somewhereinthenight,shefellasleepwithherblondheadpillowedonthebigarmofthe
chair.Voiceswokeher.
"Hasshebeenthereallnight,Harry?"Quinnwasasking.
"Lookslike.Poorlittlecritter,she'swornout."
"I'llshootElliot!"
"Now,boss,that'snowaytotreatthekid.Hegotscared,andIdidn'tknowwhattodo.Womenknow
thingsaboutillness.Why,mymamacoulddoctorpeopleandsheneverhadnomedicaltraining.She
usedherbsandthings."
Amandablinked,feelingeyesonher.ShefoundQuinnSuttongazingsteadilyatherfromasitting
positiononthebed.
"Howdoyoufeel?"sheaskedwithoutliftinghersleepyhead.
"Likehell,"hereplied."ButI'mabitbetter."
"Wouldyoulikesomebreakfast,ma'am?"Harryaskedwithasmile."Andsomecoffee?"
"Coffee.Heavenly.Butnobreakfast,thanks,Iwon'timpose,"shesaiddrowsily,yawningand
stretchinguninhibitedlyasshesatup,herfullbreastsbeautifullyoutlinedagainstthecottonblousein
theprocess.
Quinnfelthisbodytauteningagain,asithadthenightbeforesounexpectedlyandpainfullywhenher
handshadtouchedhim.Hecouldstillfeelthem,andthebrushofherlong,silkysofthairagainsthis
skin.Shesmelledofgardeniasandthewholeoutdoors,andhehatedhermorethaneverbecausehe'd
beenbrieflyvulnerable.
"WhydidyoucomewithElliot?"QuinnaskedherwhenHarryhadgone.
Shepushedbackherdisheveledhairandtriednottothinkhowbadshemustlookwithoutmakeup
andwithherhairuncombed.Sheusuallykeptitinatightbraidontopofherheadwhenshewasn't
performing.ItmadeherfeelvulnerabletohaveitsunusuallengthondisplayforamanlikeQuinn
Sutton.
"Yoursonisonlytwelve,"sheansweredhimbelatedly."That'stoomuchresponsibilityforakid,"
sheadded."Iknow.Ihadmydadtolookafteratthatage,andnomother.Mydaddrank
s
"sheadded
withabittersmile."Excessively.Whenhedrankhegotintotrouble.Icanrememberknowinghowto
callabailbondsmanattheageofthirteen.Ineverdated,Inevertookfriendshomewithme.WhenI
waseighteen,Iranawayfromhome.Idon'tevenknowifhe'sstillalive,andIdon'tcare."
"That'soneproblemElliotwon'teverhave,"herepliedquietly."Toughgirl,aren'tyou?"headded,
andhisblackeyeswerefranklycurious.
Shehadn'tmeanttotellhimsomuch.Itembarrassedher,soshegavehimhermostbelligerentglare.
"Toughenough,thanks,"shesaid.Shegotoutofthechair."Ifyou'rewellenoughtoargue,youought
tobeabletotakecareofyourself.Butifthatfevergoesupagain,you'llneedtoseethedoctor."
"I'lldecidethat,"hesaidtersely."Gohome."
"Thanks,I'lldothatlittlething."Shegothercoatandputitonwithouttakingtimetobuttonit.She
pushedherhairupunderthestockingcap,awareofhiseyesonherthewholetime.
"Youdon'tfittheimageofatypicalhanger-on,"hesaidunexpectedly.
Sheglancedathim,blinkingwithsurprise."Ibegyourpardon?"
"Ahanger-on,"herepeated.Heliftedhischinandstudiedherwithmockingthoroughness."You're
Durning'slatestlover,Igather.Well,ifit'smoneyyou'reafter,he'stheperfectchoice.Aprettylittle
trampcouldgofarwithhim...Damn!"
Shestoodoverhimwiththeremainsofhiscupofhotchocolatealloverhischest,shiveringwith
rage.
"I'msorry,"shesaidcurtly."Thatwasadespicablethingtodotoasickman,butwhatyousaidto
mewasinexcusable."
Sheturnedandwenttothedoor,ignoringhismuffledcursesashethrewoffthecoverandsatup.
"I'dcuss,too,"shesaidagreeablyassheglancedbackathimonelasttime,hereyesrunning
helplesslyoverthebroadexpanseofhair-roughenedskin."Allthatstickyhotchocolateinthatthicket
onyourchest,"shemused."Itwillprobablytakesteamcleaningtoremoveit.Toobadyoucan't
attracta'hanger-on'tohelpyoubatheitout.But,then,youaren'tasrichasMr.Durning,areyou?"
Andshewalkedout,hernoseintheair.Asshewenttowardthestairs,sheimaginedthatsheheard
laughter.Butofcourse,thatcouldn'thavebeenpossible.
ChapterTwo
Amandaregrettedthehot-chocolateincidentonceshewasbackinthecabin,eventhoughQuinn
Suttonhaddeservedeverydropofit.Howdarehecallhersuchaname!
Amandawasold-fashionedinherideas.ArealcountrygirlfromMississippiwho'dhadnoexample
tofollowexceptaliberatedauntandanalcoholicparent,andshewaslikeneitherofthem.Shehardly
evendatedthesedays.Herworkinggearwasn'tthekindofclothingthattoldmenhowconventional
heridealswere.TheysawtheglitterandsexyoutfitandfiguredthatAmanda,orjust"Mandy"asshe
wasknownonstage,livedlikeheralteregolooked.Thereweretimeswhensheruedthedayshe'd
eversignedonwithDesperado,butshewastoofamousandmakingtoomuchmoneytoquitnow.
Sheputherhairinitsusualbraidandkeptittherefortherestoftheweek,wonderingfromtimeto
timeaboutQuinnSuttonandwhetherornothe'dsurvivedhisillness.Notthatshecared,shekept
tellingherself.Itdidn'tmattertoherifheturneduphistoes.
Therewasnophoneinthecabin,andnopiano.Shecouldn'tplaysolitaire,shedidn'thaveatelevision.
Therewasonlytheradioandthecassetteplayerforcompany,andMr.Durning'stasteinmusicwas
reallyextreme.Helikedoperaandnothingelse.She'dhavediedforsomesoftrock,orjustan
instrumenttopracticeon.Shecouldplaydrumsaswellasthesynthesizerandpiano,andshewound
upinthekitchenbangingonthecounterwithtwostainless-steelknivesoutofsheerboredom.
WhentheelectricitywenthaywireinthewakeoftwoinchesoffreezingrainonSundaynight,itwas
almostarelief.Shesatinthedarknesslaughing.Shewastrappedinahousewithoutheat,without
light,andtheonlythingsheknewaboutfireplaceswasthattheyrequiredwood.Thelogsthatwerecut
outsidewerefrozensolidunderthesleetandtherewerenoneinthehouse.Therewasn'tevenapack
ofmatches.
Shewrappedupinhercoatandshivered,hatingthesolitudeandtheweatherandfeelingthe
nightmarescomingbackintheicynight.Shedidn'twanttothinkaboutthereasonhervoicehadquit
onher,butifshespentenoughtimealone,shewassurelygoingtogocrazyrelivingthatnight
onstage.
Lostinthought,innightmarishmemoriesofscreamsandherownlossofconsciousness,shedidn't
hearthefirstknockonthedooruntilitcameagain.
"MissCorrie!"afamiliarangryvoiceshoutedabovethewind.
Shegotup,feelingherwaytothedoor."Keepyourshirton,"shemutteredasshethrewitopen.
QuinnSuttonglareddownather."Getwhateveryou'llneedforacoupleofdaysandcomeon.The
power'sout.Ifyoustayhereyou'llfreezetodeath.It'sgoingbelowzerotonight.Myranchhasan
extragenerator,sowe'vestillgotthepowergoing."
Sheglaredback."I'dratherfreezetodeaththangoanywherewithyou,thanksjustthesame."
Hetookaslowbreath."Look,yourmoralsareyourownbusiness.Ijustthought—"
Sheslammedthedoorinhisfaceandturned,justintimetohavehimkickinthedoorandcome
afterher.
"Isaidyou'recomingwithme,lady,"hesaidshortly.Hebentandpickedherupbodilyandstarted
outthedoor."Andtohellwithwhatyou'llneedforacoupleofdays."
"MrSutton!"shegasped,stunnedbytheun-
expectedcontactwithhishard,fitbodyashecarried
hereasilyoutthedoorandcloseditbehindthem.
"Holdon,"hesaidtautlyandwithoutlookingather."Thesnow'sprettyheavyrightthroughthis
drift."
Infact,itwasalmostwaistdeep.Shehadn'tbeenoutsideintwodays,soshehadn'tnoticedhowhigh
ithadgotten.Herhandsclungtotheoldsheepskincoathewaswearing.Itsmelledofleatherand
tobaccoandwhateversoapheused,andthefurrycollarwaswarmagainsthercoldcheek.Hemade
herfeelsmallandhelpless,andshewasn'tsureshelikedit.
"Idon'tlikeyourtactics,"shesaidthroughherteethasthewindhowledaroundthemandsleetbit
intoherfaceliketinynails.
"Theygetresults.Hopon."Heputheruponthesled,climbedbesideher,graspedthereinsand
turnedthehorsebacktowardthemountain.
Shewantedtoprotest,totellhimtotakehisofferandgotohell.Butitwasbitterlycoldandshewas
shiveringtoobadlytoargue.Hewasright,andthatwasthehellofit.Shecouldfreezetodeathinthat
cabineasilyenough,andnobodywouldhavefoundheruntilspringcameoruntilherauntpersuaded
Mr.Durningtocomeandseeabouther.
"Idon'twanttoimpose,"shesaidcurtly.
"We'repastthatnow,"hereplied."It'seitherthisorburyyou."
"I'msureIknowwhichyou'dprefer,"shemuttered,huddlinginherheavycoat.
"Doyou?"heasked,turninghishead.Inthedaylightglareofsnowandsleet,shesawanodd
twinkleinhisblackeyes."Trydiggingaholeoutthere."
Shegavehimaspeakingglanceandresignedherselftogoingwithhim.
Hedrovethesledrightintothebarnandlefthertowanderthroughtheaisle,lookingatthehorses
andthetwonewcalvesinthevariousstallswhilehedealtwithunhitchingandstallingthehorse.
"What'swrongwiththeselittlethings?"sheasked,herhandsinherpocketsandherearsfreezingas
shenoddedtowardthetwocalves.
"Theirmamasstarvedoutinthepasture,"hesaidquietly."Icouldn'tgettothemintime."
Hesoundedasifthatmatteredtohim.Shelookedupathisdarkface,seeingnewcharacterinit."I
didn'tthinkacowortwowouldmatter,"shesaidabsently.
"IlosteverythingIhadafewmonthsback,"hesaidmatter-of-factly."I'mtryingtopulloutof
bankruptcy,andrightnowit'satoss-upastowhetherI'llevencomeclose.Everycowcounts."He
lookeddownather."Butitisn'tjustthemoney.Itdisturbsmetoseeanythingdiefromlackof
attention.Evenacow."
"Oramerewoman?"shesaidwithafaintsmile."Don'tworry,Iknowyoudon'twantmehere.I'm..
.gratefultoyouforcomingtomyrescue.MostofthefirewoodwasfrozenandMr.Durning
apparentlydoesn'tsmoke,becausethereweren'talotofmatchesaround."
Hescowledfaintly."No,Durningdoesn'tsmoke.Didn'tyouknow?"
Sheshrugged."Ineverhadreasontoask,"shesaid,withouttellinghimthatitwasheraunt,not
herself,whowouldknowaboutMr.Durning'shabits.Lethimenjoyhisdisgustingopinionofher.
"Elliotsaidyou'dbeensick."
Sheliftedafacecarefullykeptblank."Sortof,"shereplied.
"Didn'tDurningcareenoughtocomewithyou?"
"Mr.Sutton,mypersonallifeisnoneofyourbusiness,"shesaidfirmly."Youcanthinkwhatever
youwanttoaboutme.Idon'tcare.Butforwhatit'sworth,Ihatemenprobablyasmuchasyouhate
women,soyouwon'thavetoholdmeoffwithastick."
Hisfacewenthardattheremark,buthedidn'tsayanything.Hesearchedhereyesforonelong
momentandthenturnedtowardthehouse,gesturinghertofollow.
Elliotwasoverjoyedwiththeirnewhouseguest.QuinnSuttonhadatelevisionandallsortsof
tapes,andtherewas,surprisinglyenough,abrand-newkeyboardonaliving-roomtable.
Shetoucheditlovingly,andElliotgrinnedather."Likeit?"heaskedproudly."Dadgaveittome
forChristmas.It'snotanexpensiveone,youknow,butit'snicetopracticeon.Listen."
Heturneditonandflippedswitches,andgaveaprettydecentrenditionofatunebyGenesis.
Amanda,whowasformallytaughtinpiano,smiledathisefforts."Verygood,"shepraised."Buttry
aB-flatinsteadofaBattheendofthatlastmeasureandseeifitdoesn'tgiveyouabettersound."
Elliotcockedhishead."Iplaybyear,"hefaltered.
"Sorry."Shereachedoverandtouchedthekeyshewanted."Thatone."Shefingeredthewhole
chord."Youhaveaverygoodear."
"ButIcan'treadmusic,"hesighed.Hisblueeyessearchedherface."Youcan,can'tyou?"
Shenodded,smilingwistfully."Iusedtolongforpianolessons.Itooktheminspurtsandthenbegged
a...friendtoletmeUseherpianotopracticeon.Ittookmealongtimetolearnjustthebasics,butI
doallright."
"Allright"meantthatsheandtheboyshadwonaGrammyawardfortheirlastalbumandithad
beenoneofherownsongsthathadheadlinedit.Butshecouldn'ttellElliotthat.Shewasconvinced
thatQuinnSuttonwouldhavethrownheroutthefrontdoorifhe'dknownwhatshedidforaliving.
Hedidn'tseemlikearockfan,andoncehegotalookatherstagecostumeandhergroup,he'd
probablyaccuseherofalotworsethanbeinghisneighbor'slive-inlover.Sheshivered.Well,atleast
shedidn'tlikeQuinnSutton,andthatwasagoodthing.Shemightgetoutofherewithouthavinghim
findoutwhoshereallywas,butjustincase,itwouldn'tdotoletherselfbecomeinterestedinhim.
"Idon'tsupposeyou'dconsiderteachingmehowtoreadmusic?"Elliotasked."Forsomethingto
do,youknow,sincewe'regoingtobesnowedinforawhile,thewayitlooks."
"Sure,I'llteachyou,"shemurmured,smilingathim."Ifyoudaddoesn'tmind,"sheaddedwitha
quickglanceatthedoorway.
QuinnSuttonwasstandingthere,injeansandred-checkedflannelshirtwithacupofblackcoffeein
onehand,watchingthem.
"Noneofthatrockstuff,"hesaidshortly."That'sabadinfluenceonkids."
"Badinfluence?"Amandawasalmostshocked,despitethefactthatshe'dgaugedhistastesvery
well.
"Thoseraucouslyricsandsuggestivecostumes,andsatanism,"hemuttered."Iconfiscatedhistapes
andputthemaway.It'sindecent."
"Someofitis,yes,"sheagreedquietly."Butyoucan'tlumpitallintoonecategory,Mr.Sutton.And
thesedays,alotofthegroupsareevenencouragingchastityandgoingtowarondruguse..."
"Youdon'treallybelievethatbull,doyou?"heaskedcoldly.
"It'strue,Dad,"Elliotpipedup.
"Youcanshutup,"hetoldhisson.Heturned."I'vegotalotofpaperworktogetthrough.Don'tturn
thatthingonhigh,willyou?Harrywillshowyoutoyourroomwhenyou'rereadytobeddown,Miss
Corrie,"headded,andlookedasifhe'dliketohaveshownhertoaroomunderwater."OrElliotcan."
"Thanksagain,"shesaid,butshedidn'tlookup.Hemadeherfeeltotallyinadequateandguilty.Ina
smallway,itwaslikegoingbacktothatnight...
"Don'tstayuppastnine,Elliot,"Quinntoldhisson.
"Okay,Dad."
Amandalookedafterthetallmanwithherjawhangingloose."Whatdidhesay?"sheasked.
"Hesaidnottostayuppastnine,"Elliotreplied."Weallgotobedatnine,"headdedwithagrinat
herexpression."There,there,you'llgetusedtoit.Ranchlife,youknow.Here,now,whatwasthat
aboutaB-flat?What'saB-flat?"
Shewasobviouslyexpectedtogotobedwiththechickensandprobablygetupwiththem,too.
Absentlyshepickedupthekeyboardandbegantoexplainthebasicsofmusic.toElliot.
"Didhereallyhideallyourtapes?"sheaskedcuriously.
"Yes,hedid,"Elliotchuckled,glancingtowardthestairs."ButIknowwherehehidthem."He
studiedherwithpursedlips."Youknow,youlookawfullyfamiliarsomehow."
Amandamanagedtokeepacalmexpressiononher
face,despitehertwingeoffear.Herpicture,along
withthatofthemeninthegroup,wasonalltheiral-
bumsandtapes.GodforbidthatElliotshouldbeafan
andhaveoneofthem,buttheywerepopularwith
youngpeoplehisage."Theysayweallhaveacoun-
terpart,don'tthey?"sheaskedandsmiled."Maybe
yousawsomebodywholookedlikeme.Here,thisis
howyourunaCscale__"
ShesuccessfullychangedthesubjectandElliotdidn'tbringitupagain.Theywentupstairsahalfhour
later,andshebreathedasighofrelief.SincetheautocraticMr.Suttonhadn'tgivenhertimetopack,
shewoundupsleepinginherclothesunderthespotlesswhitesheets.Sheonlyhopedthatshewasn't
goingtohavethenightmareshere.Shecouldn'tbearthethoughtofhavingQuinnSuttonaskher
aboutthem.He'dprobablysaythatshe'dgottenjustwhatshedeserved.
Butthenightmaresdidn'tcome.Shesleptwithdeliciousabandonanddidn'tdreamatall.Shewokeup
thenextmorningoddlyrefreshedjustasthesunwascomingup,evenbeforeElliotknockedonher
doortotellherthatHarryhadbreakfastreadydownstairs.
Shecombedoutherhairandrebraidedit,wrappingitaroundthecrownofherheadandpinningit
thereasshe'dhaditlastnight.Shetidiedherselfaftershe'dwashedup,andwentdownstairswitha
livelystep.
QuinnSuttonandElliotwerealreadymakinggreatinroadsintohuge,fluffypancakessmotheredin
syrupwhenshejoinedthem.
Harrybroughtinafreshpotofcoffeeandgrinnedather."Howaboutsomehotcakesandsausage?"
heasked.
"Justahotcakeandasausage,please,"shesaidandgrinnedback."I'mnotmuchofabreakfast
person."
"You'lllearnifyoustayinthesemountainslong,"Quinnsaid,sparingheraspeakingglance."You
needmoremeatonthosebones.Fixherthree,Harry."
"Now,listen..."shebegan.
"No,youlisten,"Quinnsaidimperturbably,sippingblackcoffee."Myhouse,myrules."
Shesighed.Itwasjustlikeold-timesattheorphanage,duringoneofherfather'sbingeswhenshe'd
hadtolivewithMrs.Brim'srules."Yes,sir,"shesaidabsently.
Heglaredather."I'mthirty-four,andyouaren'tyoungenoughtocallme'sir.'"
Sheliftedstartleddarkeyestohis."I'mtwenty-four,"shesaid."Areyoureallyjustthirty-four?"
Sheflushedevenasshesaidit.Hedidlooksomucholder,butshehadn'tmeanttosayanything."I'm
sorry.Thatsoundedterrible."
"IlookolderthanIam,"hesaideasily."I'vegotafrienddowninTexaswhothoughtIwasinmy
latethirties,andhe'sknownmeforyears.Noneedtoapologize."Hedidn'taddthathehadalotof
mileageonhim,thankstohisex-wife."Youlookyoungerthantwenty-four,"hedidadd.
Hepushedawayhisemptyplateandsippedcoffee,staringatherthroughthesteamrisingfromit.He
waswearingablue-checkedflannelshirtthismorning,buttoneduptohisthroat,withjeansthatwere
wellfittingbutnotoverlytight.Hedidn'tdresslikethemeninAmanda'sworld,butthen,themenshe
knewweren'tthesamebreedasthisTetonman.
"Amandataughtmeallaboutscaleslastnight,"Elliotsaidexcitedly."Shereallyknowsmusic."
"Howdidyoumanagetolearn?"Quinnaskedher,andshesawinhiseyesthathewasremembering
whatshe'dtoldhimaboutheralcoholicfather.
Sheliftedhereyesfromherplate."Duringmydad'sbinges,Istayedatthelocalorphanage.There
wasaladytherewhoplayedforherchurch.Shetaughtme."
"Nosistersorbrothers?"heaskedquietly.
Sheshookherhead."Nobodyintheworld,exceptanaunt."Sheliftedhercoffeecup."She'sanartist,
andshe'sbeenlivingwithherlatestlover—"
"You'dbettergettoschool,son,"Quinninterruptedtersely,noddingatElliot.
"Isurehad,orI'llbelate.Seeyou!"
Hegrabbedhisbooksandhiscoatandwasgoneinaflash,andHarrygatheredtheplateswithasmile
andvanishedintothekitchen.
"Don'ttalkaboutthingslikethataroundElliot,"Quinnsaidshortly."Heunderstandsmorethanyou
think.Idon'twanthimcorrupted."
"Don'tyourealizethatmosttwelve-year-oldboysknowmoreaboutlifethangrown-upsthese
days?"sheaskedwithafaintsmile.
"Inyourworld,maybe.Notinmine."
Shecouldhavetoldhimthatshewasdiscussingthewaythingswere,notthewayshepreferredthem,
butsheknewitwouldbeuseless.Hewassocertainthatshewaswildlyliberated.Shesighed."Maybe
so,"shemurmured.
"I'mold-fashioned,"headded.Hisdarkeyesnarrowedonherface."Idon'twantElliotexposedto
theliberatedoutlookoftheso-calledmodernworlduntilhe'soldenoughtounderstandthathehasa
choice.Idon'tlikeasocietythatridiculeshonorandfidelityandinnocence.SoIfightbackintheonly
wayIcan.IgotochurchonSunday,MissCorrie,"hemused,smilingathercuriousexpression.
"Elliotgoes,too.Youmightnotknowitfromwatchingtelevisionorgoingtomovies,butthereare
stillafewpeopleinAmericawhoalsogotochurchonSunday,whoworkhardallweekandfind
theirrelaxationinwaysthatdon'tinvolvedrugs,boozeorcasualsex.How'sthatforashocking
revelation?"
"NobodyeveraccusedHollywoodofportrayingreallife,"sherepliedwithasmile."Butifyou
wantmyhonestopinion,I'mprettysickofgratuitoussex,filthylanguageandgraphicviolenceinthe
newermovies.Infact,I'msosickofitthatI'vegonebacktowatchingtheold-timemoviesfromthe
1940s."Shelaughedathisexpression."Letmetellyou,theseoldmovieshadrealhandicaps—the
actorsallhadtokeeptheirclothesonandtheycouldn'tswear.Thewriterswereequallylimited,so
theycreatedsomeofthemostgrippingdramaseverproduced.Ilovethem.Andbestofall,youcan
evenwatchthemwithkids."
Hepursedhislips,hisdarkeyesholdinghers."IlikeGeorgeBrent,GeorgeSanders,Humphrey
Bogart,BetteDavisandCaryGrantbest,"heconfessed."Yes,Iwatchthem,too."
"I'mnotreallyallthatmodernmyself,"sheconfessed,toyingwiththetablecloth."Iliveinthecity,
butnotinthefastlane."Sheputdownhercoffeecup."Icanunderstandwhyyoufeelthewayyoudo,
abouttakingElliottochurchandall.Elliottoldmealittleabouthismother..."
Hecloseduplikeaplant."Idon'ttalktooutsidersaboutmypersonallife,"hesaidwithoutapology
andgotup,toweringoverher."Ifyou'dliketowatchtelevisionorlistentomusic,you'rewelcome.
I'vegotworktodo."
"CanIhelp?"sheasked.
Hisheavyeyebrowslifted."Thisisn'tthecity."
"Iknowhowtocutopenabaleofhay,"shesaid."Theorphanagewasonabigfarm.Igrewupdoing
chores.Icanevenmilkacow."
"Youwon'tmilkthekindofcowsIkeep,"hereturned.Hisdarkeyesnarrowed."Youcanfeedthose
calvesinthebarn,ifyoulike.Harrycanshowyouwherethebottleis."
Whichmeantthathewasn'tgoingtowastehistimeonher.Shenodded,tryingnottofeellikean
unwantedguest.Justforafewminutesshe'dmanagedtogetunderthathardreserve.Maybethatwas
goodenoughforastart."Okay."
Hisblackeyesglancedoverherhair."Youhaven'twornitdownsincethenightElliotbroughtyou
here,"hesaidabsently.
"Idon'teverwearitdownathome,asarule,"shesaidquietly."It...getsinmyway."Itgot
recognized,too,shethought,whichwaswhyshedidn'tdareletitloosearoundElliottoooften.
Hiseyesnarrowedforaninstantbeforeheturnedandshoulderedintohisjacket.
"Don'tleavetheperimeteroftheyard,"hesaidashestuckhisweather-beatenStetsononhisdark,
thickhair."Thisiswildcountry.Wehavebearsandwolves,andaneighborwhostillsetstraps."
"Iknowmylimitations,thanks,"shesaid."Doyouhavehelp,besidesyourself?"
Heturned,thrustinghisbig,leanhandsintoworkgloves."Yes,Ihavefourcowboyswhowork
aroundtheplace.They'reallmarried."
Sheblushed."Thankyouforyoursterlingassessmentofmycharacter."
"Youmaylikeoldmovies,"hesaidwithapenetratingstare."Butnowomanwithyourkindof
looksisavirginattwenty-four,"hesaidquietly,mindfulofHarry'ssharpears."AndI'ma
backcountryman,butI'vebeenmarriedandI'mnotstupidaboutwomen.Youwon'tplaymefora
fool."
Shewonderedwhathe'dsayifheknewthewholetruthabouther.Butitdidn'tmakehersmileto
reflectonthat.Sheloweredhereyestothethickwhitemug."Thinkwhatyoulike,Mr.Sutton.You
willanyway."
"Damnedstraight."
Hewalkedoutwithoutlookingback,andAmandafeltaviciouschillevenbeforeheopenedthe
doorandwentoutintothecoldwhiteyard.
ShewaitedforHarrytofinishhischoresandthenwentwithhimtothebarn,wherethelittlecalves
werecurledupintheirstallsofhay.
"They'reonlydaysold,"Harrysaid,smilingashebroughttheenormousbottlestheywerefed
from.Infact,thenippleswerestretchedacrossthetopofbucketsandfilledwithwarmmashandmilk.
"Butthey'llgrow.Sitdown,now.Youmaygetabitdirty..."
"Clotheswash,"Amandasaideasily,smiling.Butthisoutfitwasallshehad.Shewasgoingtohave
togettheelusiveMr.Suttontotakeherbacktothecabintogetmoreclothes,orshe'dbewashingout
herthingsinthesinktonight.
Shekneltdowninacleanpatchofhayandcoaxedthecalftotakethenippleintoitsmouth.Onceit
gotatasteofthewarmliquid,itwasn'tdifficulttogetittodrink.Amandalovedthefeelofitssilky
red-and-whitecoatunderherfingersasshestrokedit.TheanimalwasaHereford,anditsbigeyes
werepinkrimmedandsoulful.Thecalfwatchedherwhileitnursed.
"Poorlittlething,"shemurmuredsoftly,rubbingbetweenitseyes."Poorlittleorphan."
"They'retoughcritters,forallthat,"Harrysaidashefedtheothercalf."Liketheboss."
"Howdidheloseeverything,ifyoudon'tmindmeasking?"
Heglancedatherandreadthesincerityinherexpression."Idon'tguesshe'dmindifItoldyou.He
wasaccusedofsellingcontaminatedbeef."
"Contaminated...how?"
"It'salongstory.TheherdcametousfromdownintheSouthwest.Theyhadmeasles.Not,"he
addedwhenhesawherpuzzledexpression,"thekindhumansget.Cattledon'tbreakoutinspots,but
theydodevelopcystsinthemuscletissueandifit'sbadenough,itmeansthatthecarcasseshavetobe
destroyed."Heshrugged."Youcan'tspotit,becausetherearenodefinitesymptoms,andyoucan't
treatitbecausethereisn'tadrugthatcuresit.Thesecattlehaditandcontaminatedtherestofourherd.
Itwasliketheendoftheworld.Quinnhadsoldthebeefcattletothepacking-plantoperator.Whenthe
meatwasordereddestroyed,hecamebackonQuinntorecoverhismoney,butQuinnhadalready
spentittobuynewcattle.Wewenttocourt...Anyway,tomakealongstoryshort,theyclearedQuinn
ofanycriminalchargesandgavehimtheopportunitytomakerestitution.Inturn,hesuedthepeople
whosoldhimthecontam-inatedherdinthefirstplace."Hesmiledruefully."Wejustaboutbroke
even,butitmeantstartingoverfromscratch.Thatwaslastyear.Thingsarestillrough,butQuinn'sa
toughcustomerandhe'sgotagoodbusinesshead.He'llgetthroughit.I'dbetonhim."
Amandaponderedthat,thinkingthatQuinn'srecentlifehadbeenasdifficultasherown.Atleasthe
hadElliot.Thatmusthavebeenacomforttohim.ShesaidasmuchtoHarry.
Hegaveherastrangelook."Well,yes,Elliot'sspecialtohim,"hesaid,asiftherewerethingsshe
didn'tknow.Probablytherewere.
"Willtheselittleguysmakeit?"sheaskedwhenthecalfhadfinishedhisbottle.
"Ithinkso,"Harrysaid."Here,givemethatbottleandI'lltakecareofitforyou."
Shesighed,pettingthecalfgently.Shelikedfarmsandranches.Theyweresoreal,comparedtothe
artificiallifeshe'dknownsinceshewasoldenoughtoleavehome.Shelovedherworkandshe'd
alwaysenjoyedperforming,butitseemedsometimesasifshelivedinanotherworld.Valueswere
nebulous,iftheyevenexisted,intheworldwheresheworked.Old-fashionedideaslikemorality,
honor,chastitywerelaughedatorignored.Amandakeptherstoherself,justasshekeptherprivacy
intact.Shedidn'tdiscussherinnerfeelingswithanyone.Probablyherfriendsandassociateswould
havediedlaughingifthey'dknownjusthowmanyhang-upsshehad,andhowdistantheroutlookon
lifewasfromtheirs.
"Here'sanotherone,"Quinnsaidfromthefrontofthebarn.
Amandaturnedherhead,surprisedtoseehimbecausehe'driddenoutminutesago.Hewascarrying
anothersmallcalf,butthisonelookedworsethantheyoungeronesdid.
"He'sverythin,"shecommented.
"He'sgotscours."Helaidthecalfdownnexttoher."Harry,fixanotherbottle."
"Comingup,boss."
Amandatouchedthewirylittleheadwithitsroughhide."He'snotingoodshape,"shemurmured
quietly.
Quinnsawtheconcernonherfaceandwassurprisedbyit.Heshouldn'thavebeen,hereasoned.Why
wouldshehavecomewithElliotinthemiddleofthenighttonurseamanshedidn'tevenlike,ifshe
wasn'takindwoman?
"Heprobablywon'tmakeit,"heagreed,hisdarkeyessearchinghers."He'dbeenoutthereby
himselfforalongtime.It'sabigproperty,andhe'saverysmallcalf,"hedefendedwhenshegave
himameaningfullook."Itwouldn'tbethefirsttimewemissedone,I'msorrytosay."
"Iknow."ShelookedupasHarryproducedathirdbottle,andherhandreachedforitjustas
Quinn'sdid.Shereleasedit,feelingoddlittletinglesatthebriefcontactwithhislean,surehand.
"Heregoes,"hemurmuredcurtly.Hereachedunderthecalf'schinandpulleditsmouthuptoslide
thenipplein.Thecalfcouldbarelynurse,butafteraminuteitseemedtorallyandthenitfedhungrily.
"Thankgoodness,"Amandamurmured.ShesmiledatQuinn,andhiseyesflashedastheymethers,
searching,dark,fullofsecrets.Theynarrowedandthenabruptlyfelltohersoftmouth,wherethey
lingeredwithakindofquestioningirritation,asifhewantedverymuchtokissherandhatedhimself
forit.Herheartleapedattheknowledge.Sheseemedtohaveanew,built-ininsightaboutthis
standoffishman,andshedidn'tunderstandeitheritorherattitudetowardhim.Hewasdomineering
andhardheadedandunpredictableandsheshouldhavedislikedhim.Butshesensedasensitivityin
himthattouchedherheart.Shewantedtogettoknowhim.
"Icandothis,"hesaidcurtly."Whydon'tyougoinside?"
Shewasgettingtohim,shethoughtwithfascination.Hewasinterestedinher,buthedidn'twantto
be.Shewatchedthewayheavoidedlookingdirectlyatheragain,theangryglanceofhiseyes.
Well,itcertainlywouldn'tdoanygoodtomakehimfuriousather,especiallywhenshewasgoing
tobehisunwantedhouseguestforseveralmoredays,fromthelookoftheweather.
"Okay,"shesaid,givingin.Shegottoherfeetslowly."I'llseeifIcanfindsomethingtodo."
"Harrymightlikesomecompanywhileheworksinthekitchen.Wouldn'tyou,Harry?"headded,
givingtheoldermanalookthatsaidhe'ddamnedsurebetterlikesomecompany.
"OfcourseIwould,boss,"Harryagreedinstantly.
Amandapushedherhandsintoherpocketswithalastglanceatthecalves.Shesmileddownat
them."CanIhelpfeedthemwhileI'mhere?"sheaskedgently.
"Ifyouwantto,"Quinnsaidreadily,butwithoutlookingup.
"Thanks."Shehesitated,buthemadeherfeelshyandtongue-tied.Sheturnedawaynervouslyand
walkedbacktothehouse.
SinceHarryhadthekitchenwellinhand,shevolunteeredtoironsomeofQuinn'scottonshirts.Harry
hadtheironingboardsetup,butnottheiron,soshewentintotheclosetandproducedone.Itlooked
old,butmaybeitwoulddo,exceptthatitseemedtohavealotofsomethingcakedonit.
She'djuststartedtoplugitinwhenHarrycameintotheroomandgasped.
"Notthatone!"heexclaimed,gentlytakingitawayfromher."That'sQuinn's!"
Sheopenedhermouthtomakearemark,whenHarrystartedchuckling.
"It'sforhisskis,"heexplainedpatiently.
Shenodded."Right.Heironshisskis.Icanseethat."
"Hedoes.Don'tyouknowanythingaboutskiing?"
"Well,yougetbehindaspeedboatwiththemon..."
"Notwaterskiing.Snowskiing,"heemphasized.
Sheshrugged."IcomefromsouthernMississippi."Shegrinnedathim."Wedon'tdomuchbusiness
insnow,yousee."
"Sorry.Well,QuinnwasanOlympiccontenderingiantslalomwhenhewasinhislateteensand
earlytwenties.Hewouldhavemadetheteam,buthegotmarriedandElliotwasontheway,sohe
gaveitup.Hestillgetsinplentyofpractice,"headded,shuddering."OnoldIronsidepeak,too.
Nobody,butnobody,skisitexceptQuinnandacoupleofotherexpertsfromLarry'sLodgeoverin
JacksonHole."
"Ihaven'tseenthatoneonamap..."shebegan,becauseshe'ddoneplentyofmapreadingbefore
shecamehere.
"Oh,thatisn'titsofficialname,it'swhatQuinncallsit."Hegrinned."Anyway,Quinnusesthisiron
toputwaxonthebottomofhisskis.Don'tfeelbad,Ididn'tknowanybetter,either,atfirst,andI
waxedacoupleofshirts.Here'stherightiron."
Hehandedittoher,andshepluggeditinandgotstarted.TheelusiveMr.Suttonhadhidden
qualities,itseemed.She'dwatchedthewinterOlympicseveryfouryearsontelevision,anddownhill
skiingfascinatedher.ButitseemedtoAmandathatgiantslalomcalledforakindofrecklessskilland
speedthatwouldrequireruthlessnessandsingle-mindeddetermination.Consideringthat,itwasn'tat
allsurprisingtoherthatQuinnSuttonhadbeengoodatit.
ChapterThree
AmandahelpedHarrydodishesandstartaloadofclothesinthewasher.Butwhenshetookthemout
ofthedryer,shediscoveredthatseveralofQuinn'sshirtsweremissingbuttonsandhadlooseseams.
Harryproducedaneedleandsomethread,andAmandasettoworkmendingthem.Itgaveher
somethingtodowhileshewatchedayears-oldpolicedramaontelevision.
QuinncameinwithElliotafewhourslater.
"Boy,thesnow'sbad,"ElliotremarkedasherubbedhishandsinfrontofthefireHarryhadlitin
thebigstonefireplace."Dadhadtobringthesledouttogetme,becausethebuscouldn'tgetoffthe
mainhighway."
"Speakingofthesled,"Amandasaid,glancingatQuinn,"I'vegottohaveafewthingsfromthe
cabin.I'mreallysorry,butI'mlimitedtowhatI'mwearing...."
"I'llrunyoudownrightnow,beforeIgooutagain."
Sheputthemendingaside."I'llgetmycoat."
"Elliot,youcancome,too.Putyourcoatbackon,"Quinnsaidunexpectedly,ignoringhisson's
surprisedglance.
Amandadidn'tlookathim,butsheunderstoodwhyhewantedElliotalong.ShemadeQuinn
nervous.Hewasattractedtoherandhewasgoingtofightittothebitterend.Shewonderedwhyhe
consideredhersuchathreat.
Hepausedtopickuptheshirtshe'dbeenworkingon,andhisexpressiongotevenharderashe
glaredather."Youdon'tneedtodothatkindofthing,"hesaidcurtly.
"I'vegottoearnmykeepsomehow."Shesighed."Icanfeedthecalvesandhelpwiththe
housework,atleast.I'mnotusedtosittingarounddoingnothing,"sheadded."Itmakesmenervous."
Hehesitated.Anoddlookrippledoverhisfaceashestudiedtheneatstitchesinhisshirtsleevewhere
theriphadbeen.Hehelditforaminutebeforehelaiditgentlybackonthesofa.Hedidn'tlookat
Amandaasheledthewayoutthedoor.
Itdidn'ttakeherlongtogetherthingstogether.Elliotwanderedaroundthecabin."Thereare
knivesalloverthecounter,"heremarked."Wantmetoputtheminthesink?"
"Goahead.Iwasusingthemfordrumsticks,"shecalledassheclosedhersuitcase.
"Theydon'tlooklikethey'dtasteverygood."Elliotchuckled.
Shecameoutofthebedroomandgavehimanamusedglance."Notthatkindofdrumsticks,you
turkey.Here."Sheputdownthesuitcaseandtookthebluntstainless-steelknivesfromhim.She
glancedaroundtomakesureQuinnhadn'tcomeintothehouseandthenshebrokeintoanimpromptu
drumroutinethatmadeElliotgrinevenmore.
"Say,you'reprettygood,"hesaid.
Shebowed."Justoneofmyminortalents,"shesaid."ButI'mbetterwithakeyboard.Readytogo?"
"Wheneveryouare."
Shestartedtopickuphersuitcase,butElliotreacheddownandgotitbeforeshecould,abiggrinon
hisfreckledface.Shewonderedagainwhyhelookedsolittlelikehisfather.Sheknewthathismother
hadbeenaredhead,too,butitwasoddthathedidn'tresembleQuinninanywayatall.
Quinnwaswaitingonthesled,hisexpressionunreadable,impatientlysmokinghiscigarette.Helet
themgetonandturnedthedrafthorsebacktowardhisownhouse.Itwassnowinglightlyandthewind
wasblowing,notfiercelybutwithanipinit.Amandasighed,liftingherfacetothesnow,notcaring
thatherhoodhadfallenbacktorevealthecoiledsoftnessofherblondhair.Shefeltaliveouthereas
sheneverhadinthecity,orevenbackEast.Therewassomethingaboutthewildernessthatmadeher
feelatpeacewithherselfforthefirsttimesincethetragedythathadsentherretreatinghere.
"Enjoyingyourself?"Quinnaskedunexpectedly.
"MorethanIcantellyou,"shereplied."It'slikenootherplaceonearth."
Henodded.Hisdarkeyesslidoverherface,hercheeksflushedwithcoldandexcitement,andthey
lingeredthereforonelongmomentbeforeheforcedhisgazebacktothetrail.Amandasawthatlook
anditbroughtasenseofforeboding.Heseemedalmostangry.
Infact,hewas.Beforethedaywasout,itwasprettyapparentthathe'dwithdrawnsomewhereinside
himselfandhadnointentionofcomingoutagain.HebarelysaidtwowordstoAmandabefore
bedtime.
"He'sgonebroody,"ElliotmusedbeforeheandAmandacalleditanight."Hedoesn'tdoitoften,
andnotforalongtime,butwhenhe'sgotsomethingonhismind,it'sbestnottogetonhisnerves."
"Oh,I'lldomybest,"Amandapromised,andcrossedherheart.
Butthatapparentlydidn'tdomuchgood,inhercase,becauseheglaredatheroverbreakfastthenext
morningandoverlunch,andbythetimeshefinishedmendingawindowcurtaininthekitchenand
helpedHarrybakeacakefordessert,shewasfeelinglikeaveryunwelcomeguest.
Shewentouttofeedthecalves,thenicestofherdailychores,justbeforeQuinnwasduehomefor
supper.Elliothadlessonsandhewasholedupinhisroomtryingtogetthemdoneintimefora
science-fictionmoviehewantedtowatchaftersupper.Quinninsistedthathomeworkcamefirst.
ShefedtwoofthethreecalvesandHarryvolunteeredtofeedthethird,thelittleonethatQuinnhad
broughthomewithscours,whileshecutthecakeandlaidthetable.Shewasjustfinishingtheplace
settingswhensheheardthesleddrawupoutsidethedoor.
HerheartquickenedatthesoundofQuinn'sfirm,measuredstrideontheporch.Thedooropenedand
hecamein,alongwithafewsnowflakes.
Hestoppedshortatthesightofherinanoldwhiteapronwithwispsofblondhairhangingaround
herflushedface,abowlofwhippedpotatoesinherhands.
"Don'tyoulookdomestic?"heaskedwithsudden,bittersarcasm.
Theattackwasunexpected,althoughitshouldn'thavebeen.He'dbeenirritableever.sincetheday
before,whenhe'dnoticedhermendinghisshirt.
"I'mjusthelpingHarry,"shesaid."He'sfeedingthecalveswhileIdothis."
"SoInoticed."
Sheputdownthepotatoes,watchinghimhanguphishatandcoatwitheyesthatapprovedhistall,fit
physique,thewaythered-checkedflannelshirtclungtohismusculartorsoandlongback.Hewas
suchalonelyman,shethought,watchinghim.Soalone,evenwithElliotandHarryhere.Heturned
unexpectedly,catchingherstaringandhisdarkeyesglittered.
Hewenttothesinktowashhishands,almostvibratingwithpent-upanger.Shesensedit,butitonly
piquedhercuriosity.Hewasreactingtoher.Shefeltit,knewit,asshepickedupadishtowelandwent
closetohimtowrapitgentlyoverhiswethands.Herbigblackeyessearchedhis,andshelether
fingerslingeronhiswhiletimeseemedtoendinthewarmkitchen.
Hisdarkeyesnarrowed,andheseemedtohavestoppedbreathing.Hewasawareofsomany
sensations.Hunger.Anger.Loneliness.Lust.Hisheadspunwiththem,andthescentofherwaspure,
softwoman,driftingupintohisnostrils,cocooninghiminthesmellofcologneandshampoo.His
gazefellhelplesslytohersoftbowofamouthandhewonderedhowitwouldfeeltobendthosefew
inchesandtakeitroughlyunderhisown.Ithadbeensolongsincehe'dkissedawoman,helda
woman.Amandawasparticularlyfeminine,andsheappealedtoeverythingthatwasmasculineinhim.
Healmostvibratedwiththeneedtoreachouttoher.
Butthatwaylaydisaster,hetoldhimselffirmly.Shewasjustanothertreacherouswoman,probably
boredwithconfinement,justkeepingherhandinwithattractingmen.Heprobablyseemedlikea
pushover,andshewasgoingtousehercharmstomakeafoolofhim.Hetookadeep,slowbreath
andtheglitterinhiseyesbecameevenmorepronouncedashejerkedthetoweloutofherhandsand
movedaway.
"Sorry,"shemumbled.Shefelthercheeksgohot,becausetherehadbeenacoldkindofviolencein
theactionthatwarnedherhisemotionsweren'tquiteundercontrol.Shemovedawayfromhim.
Violencewastheonethingshedidexpectfrommen.She'dlivedwithitformostofherlifeuntilshe'd
runawayfromhome.
Shewentbacktothestove,stirringthesauceshe'dmadetogowiththeboileddumpling.
"Don'tgettoocomfortableinthekitchen,"hewarnedher."ThisisHarry'sprivatedomainandhe
doesn'tliketrespassers.You'rejustpassingthrough."
"Ihaven'tforgottenthat,Mr.Sutton,"shereplied,andhereyeskindledwithdarkfireasshelooked
athim.Therewasnoreasontomakeherfeelsounwelcome."Justassoonasthethawcomes,I'llbe
outofyourwayforgood."
"Icanhardlywait,"hesaid,bitingoffthewords.
Amandasighedwearily.Itwasn'therideaoftheperfectrestspot.She'dcomeawayfromthe
concertstageneedinghealing,andallshe'dfoundwasanotherbattletofight.
''Youmakemefeelsoathome,Mr.Sutton,"shesaidwistfully."Likepartofthefamily.Thanksso
muchforyourgracioushospitality,anddoyouhappentohaveajarofratpoison...?"
Quinnhadtobitehardtokeepfromlaughing.Heturnedandwentoutofthekitchenasifhewere
beingchased.
Aftersupper,Amandavolunteeredtowashdishes,butHarryshooedheroff.Quinnapparentlydid
bookworkeverynight,becausehewentintohisstudyandclosedthedoor,leavingElliotwith
Amandaforcompany.They'dwatchedthescience-fictionmovieElliothadbeensoeagertoseeand
nowtheywereworkingonthekeyboard.
"IthinkI'vegotthehangofCmajor,"Elliotannounced,andranthescale,completewithturned
underthumbonthekeyofF.
"Verygood,"sheenthused."Okay,let'sgoontoGmajor."
Shetaughthimthescaleandwatchedhimplayit,hermindonQuinnSutton'santagonism.
"Somethingbotheringyou?"Elliotaskedsuspiciously.
Sheshrugged."Yourdaddoesn'twantmehere."
"Hehateswomen,"hesaid."Youknewthat,didn'tyou?"
"Yes.Butwhy?"
Heshookhishead."It'sbecauseofmymother.Shedidsomethingreallyterribletohim,andhe
nevertalksabouther.Heneverhas.I'vegotonepictureofher,inmyroom."
"Iguessyoulooklikeher,"shesaidspeculatively.
Hehandedherthekeyboard."I'vegotredhairandfreckleslikeshehad,"heconfessed."I'mjust
sorrythatI...well,thatIdon'tlookanythinglikeDad.I'mgladhecaresaboutme,though,inspiteof
everything.Isn'titgreatthathelikesme?"
Whatanoddwaytotalkabouthisfather,Amandathoughtasshestudiedhim.Shewantedtosay
somethingelse,toaskaboutthatwording,butitwastoosoon.Shehidhercuriosityinhumor.
"'Therearemorethingsinheavenandearth,Horatio,thanaredreamtofinyourphilosophy,'"she
intoneddeeply.
Hechuckled."Hamlet,"hesaid."Shakespeare.WedidthatinEnglishclasslastmonth."
"Cultureinthehighcountry."Sheapplauded."Verygood,Elliot."
"Ilikerockculturebest,"hesaidinastagewhisper."Playsomething."
SheglancedtowardQuinn'sclosedstudydoorwithagrimace."Somethingsoft."
"No!"heprotested,andgrinned."Comeon,givehimhell."
"Elliot!"shechided.
"Heneedsshakingup,Itellyou,he'sgoingtodieanoldmaid.Hegetsallfunnyandredwhen
unmarriedladiestalktohimatchurch,andjustlookathowgrumpyhe'sbeensinceyou'vebeen
around.We'vegottosavehim,Amanda,"hesaidsolemnly.
Shesighed."Okay.It'syourfuneral."Sheflickedswitches,turningontheautorhythm,theauto
chords,andmovedthevolumetomaximum.WithamischievousglanceatElliot,sheswungintoone
ofthenewestrocksongs,byarivalgroup,instantlyrecognizablebythereggaerhythmandsweet
harmony.
"GoodGod!"cameamuffledroarfromthestudy.Amandacutoffthekeyboardandhandeditto
Elliot.
"No!"Elliotgasped.
Butitwastoolate.HisfathercameoutofthestudyandsawElliotholdingthekeyboardandstarted
smoldering.
"Itwasher!"Elliotaccused,pointinghisfingerather.
ShepeeredatQuinnoverherdrawn-upknees."WouldIplayakeyboardthatloudinyourhouse,
afteryouwarnedmenotto?"sheaskedinherbestmeekvoice.
Quinn'seyesnarrowed.TheywentbacktoElliot.
"She'slying,"Elliotsaid."JustliketheguyinthosetruckcommercialsonTV...!"
"Keepitdown,"Quinnsaidwithoutcrackingasmile."OrI'llgivethatthingthedecentburialit
reallyneeds.Andnomoredamnedrockmusicinmyhouse!Thatthinghasearphones.Usethem!"
"Yes,sir,"Elliotgroaned.
Amandasalutedhim."Wehearandobey,excellency!"shesaidwithadeplorableSpanishaccent.
"Yourwishisourcommand.Weliveonlytoserve...!"
Theslammingofthestudydoorcutheroff.SheburstintolaughterwhileElliothitherwithasofa
cushion.
"Youanimal,"heaccusedmirthfully."LyingtoDad,accusingmeofdoingsomethingIneverdid!
Howcouldyou?"
"Temporaryinsanity,"shegaspedforbreath."1couldn'thelpmyself."
"We'rebothgoingtodie,"heassuredher."He'lllieawakeallnightthinkingofwaystogeteven
andwhenweleastexpectit,pow!"
"He'swelcome.Here.RunthatGmajorscaleagain."
Heletherturnthekeyboardbackon,buthewascarefultomovethevolumeswitchdownasfarasit
wouldgo.
ItwasalmostninewhenQuinncameoutofthestudyandturnedoutthelight."Timeforbed,"hesaid.
Amandahadwantedtowatchamoviethatwascomingon,butsheknewbetterthantoask.
Presumablytheydidoccasionallywatchtelevisionatnight.She'dhavetoaskoneofthesedays.
"Goodnight,Dad.Amanda,"Elliotsaid,grinningashewentupstairswithabound.
"Didyoudoyourhomework?"Quinncalledupafterhim.
"Almost."
"Whatthehelldoesthatmean?"hedemanded."ItmeansI'lldoitfirstthinginthemorning!"Night,
Dad!"Adoorclosed.
QuinnglaredatAmanda."Thatwon'tdo,"hesaidtersely."Hishomeworkcomesfirst.Musicisanice
hobby,butit'snotgoingtomakealivingforhim."
Whynot,shealmostretorted,itmakesasix-figureannualincomeforme,butshekepthermouth
shut.
"I'llmakesurehe'sdonehishomeworkbeforeIoffertoshowhimanythingelseonthekeyboard.
Okay?"
Hesighedangrily."Allright.Comeon.Let'sgotobed."
Sheputherhandsoverherchestandgasped,hereyeswideandastonished."Together?Mr.Sutton,
really!"
Hisdarkeyesnarrowedinaveiledthreat."HellwillfreezeoverbeforeIwindupinbedwithyou,"
hesaidicily."Itoldyou,Idon'twantusedgoods."
"Yourloss,"shesighed,ignoringtheimpulsetolayalampacrosshisthickskull."Experienceisa
valuablecommodityinmyworld."Shedeliberatelysmoothedherhandsdownherwaistandoverher
hips,hereyesfaintlycoquettishasshewatchedhimwatchinghermovements."AndI'mvery
experienced,"shedrawled.Inmusic,shewas.
Hisjawtautened."Yes,itdoesshow,"hesaid."Kindlykeepyourattitudestoyourself.Idon'twant
mysoncorrupted."
"Ifyoureallymeantthat,you'dlethimwatchmoviesandlistentorockmusicandtrusthimtomake
uphisownmindaboutthings."
"He'sonlytwelve."
"Youaren'tpreparinghimtoliveintherealworld,"sheprotested.
"This,"hesaid,"istherealworldforhim.Notsomefancyapartmentinacitywherewomenlike
youloungearoundinbarspickingupmen."
"Nowyouwaitjustaminute,"shesaid."Idon'tloungearoundinbarstopickupmen."Sheshifted
herstance."Ihangoutinzoosandflashelderlymeninmytrenchcoat."
Hethrewuphishands."Igiveup."
"Good!Yourroomormine?"
Hewhirled,hisdarkeyesflashing.Hersmilewaspurelyprovocativeandshewasdeliberatelybaiting
him,hecouldsenseit.Hisjawtautenedandhewantedtopickherupandshakeherfortheeffecther
teasingwashavingonhim.
"Okay,Iquit,"Amandasaid,becauseshecouldseethathe'dreachedthelimitsofhiscontroland
shewasn'tquitebraveenoughtotesttheothersideofit."Goodnight.Sweetdreams."
Hedidn'tanswerher.Hefollowedherupthestairsandwatchedhergointoherroomandclosethe
door.Afteraminute,hewentintohisownroomandlockedthedoor.Helaughedmirthlesslyathis
ownrashaction,buthehopedshecouldheartheboltbeingthrown.
Shecould.Itshockedher,untilsherealizedthathe'ddoneitdeliberately,probablytryingtohurther.
Shelaidbackonherbedwithalongsigh.Shedidn'tknowwhattodoaboutMr.Sutton.Hewas
beginningtogettoherinaveryrealway.Shehadtokeepherperspective.Thiswasonlytemporary.
Itwouldhelptokeepitinmind.
Quinnwasthinkingthesamething.Butwhenheturnedoutthelightandclosedhiseyes,hekept
feelingAmanda'sloosenedhairbrushingdownhischest,overhisflatstomach,hisloins.He
shudderedandwokeupsweatinginthemiddleofthenight.Itwastheworstandlongestnightofhis
life.
Thenextmorning,QuinnglaredatAmandaacrossthebreakfasttableafterElliothadleftforschool.
"Leavemyshirtsalone,"hesaidcurtly."Ifyoufindanymoretears,Harrycanmendthem."
Hereyebrowslifted."Idon'thavegerms,"shepointedout."Icouldn'tcontaminatethemjustby
stitchingthemup."
"Leavethemalone,"hesaidharshly.
"Okay.Suityourself."Shesighed."I'lljustbusymyselfmakinglacypillowsforyourbed."
Hesaidsomethingexpressiveandobscene;herlipsfellopenandshegapedathim.She'dnever
heardhimuselanguagelikethat.
Itseemedtobotherhimthathehad.Heputdownhisfork,lefthiseggsandwentoutthedoorasif
leopardswerestalkinghim.
Amandastirredhereggsaroundontheplate,feelingvaguelyguiltythatshe'dgivenhimsucha
hardtimethathe'dgonewithouthalfhisbreakfast.Shedidn'tknowwhysheneedledhim.Itseemedto
beanewhabit,maybetokeephimatbay,tokeephimfromnoticinghowattractedshewastohim.
"I'mgoingouttofeedthecalves,Harry,"shesaidafteraminute.
"Dresswarm.It'ssnowingagain,"hecalledfromupstairs.
"Okay."
SheputonhercoatandhatandwanderedouttothebarnthroughthepathQuinnhadmadeinthe
deepsnow.She'dneveragaingrumbleatlittletwo-andthree-footdriftsinthecity,shepromised
herself.Nowthatsheknewwhatrealsnowwas,shefeltguiltyforallherpastcomplaints.
Thebarnwaswarmerthanthegreatoutdoors.Shepushedsnowflakesoutofhereyesandfaceand
wenttofixthebottlesasHarryhadshownher,butQuinnwasalreadythereandhaditdone.
"Noneedtofollowmearoundtryingtogetmyattention,"Amandamurmuredwithawickedsmile.
"I'vealreadynoticedhowsexyandhandsomeyouare."
Hedrewinafuriousbreath,butjustashewasabouttospeakshemovedcloserandputherfingers
againsthiscoldmouth.
"You'llbreakmyheartifyouuseungentlemanlylanguage,Mr.Sutton,"shetoldhimfirmly."I'll
justfeedthecalvesandadmireyoufromafar,ifyoudon'tmind.Itseemssaferthantryingtothrow
myselfatyou."
Helookedtornbetweenshakingherandkissingher.Shestoodverystillwherehetoweredaboveher,
evenbiggerthanusualinthatthickshepherd'scoatandhistall,grayStetson.Helookeddownather
quietly,hisnarrowedeyeslingeringonherflushedcheeksandhersoft,partedmouth.
Herhandswererestingagainstthecoat,andhiswereonherarms,pulling.Shecouldhardlybreathe
assherealizedthathe'dactuallytouchedhervoluntarily.Hejerkedherfaceupunderhis,andshe
couldseeangerandsomethinglikebitternessinthedarkeyesthatheldhersuntilsheblushed.
"Justwhatareyouafter,citygirl?"heaskedcoldly.
"Asmile,akindwordand,dareIsayit,aroundofheartylaughter?"sheessayedwithwideeyes,
tryingnottolethimseehowpowerfullyheaffectedher.
Hisdarkeyesfelltohermouth."Isthatright?Andnothingmore?"
Herbreathcamejerkilythroughherlips."I...havetofeedthecalves."
Hiseyesnarrowed."Yes,youdo."Hisfingersonherarmscontracted,sothatshecouldfeelthem
eventhroughthesleevesofhercoat."Becarefulwhatyouofferme,"hesaidinavoiceaslightand
coldasthesnowoutsidethebarn."I'vebeenwithoutawomanforonehellofalongtime,andI'm
aloneuphere.Ifyou'renotwhatyou'remakingyourselfouttobe,youcouldbelettingyourselfin
forsometrouble."
Shestaredupathimonlyhalfcomprehendingwhathewassaying.Ashismeaningbegantofilter
intoherconsciousness,hercheeksheatedandherbreathcaughtinherthroat.
"You...makeitsoundlikeathreat,"shebreathed.
"Itisathreat,Amanda,"hereplied,usinghernameforthefirsttime."Youcouldstartsomething
youmightnotwanttofinishwithme,evenwithElliotandHarryaround."
Shebitherlowerlipnervously.Shehadn'tconsideredthat.Helookedmorematureandformidable
thanheeverhadbefore,andshecouldfeelthebanked-downfiresinhimkindlingevenasheheldher.
"Okay,"shesaidafteraminute.
Helethergoandmovedawayfromhertogetthebottles.Hehandedthemtoherwithalong,
speculativelook.
"It'sallright,"shemuttered,embarrassed."Iwon'tattackyouwhileyourbackisturned.Ialmost
neverrapemen."
Heliftedaneyebrow,buthedidn'tsmile."Youcrazedfemalesexmaniac,"hemurmured.
"GoodyTwoShoes,"sheshotback.
Acornerofhismouthactuallyturnedup."You'vegotthatoneright,"heagreed."Stayclosetothe
housewhileit'ssnowinglikethis.Wewouldn'twanttoloseyou."
"I'lljustbetwewouldn't,"shemutteredandstuckhertongueoutathisretreatingback.
Shekneltdowntofeedthecalves,stillshakenbyherconfrontationwithQuinn.Hewasanenigma.
Shewasalmostcertainthathe'dbeenjokingwithherattheendoftheexchange,butitwashardtotell
fromhispokerface.Hedidn'tlooklikeamanwho'dlaughedoftenorenough.
Thelittlestcalfwasn'trespondingaswellashehadearlier.Shecuddledhimandcoaxedhimto
drink,buthediditwithoutanyspirit.Shelaidhimbackdownwithasigh.Hedidn'tlookgoodatall.
Sheworriedabouthimfortherestoftheevening,andshedidn'targuewhenthetelevisionwascutoff
atnineo'clock.Shewentstraighttobed,withQuinnandElliotgivingheroddlooks.
ChapterFour
Amanda
wassubduedatthebreakfasttable,moresowhenQuinnstartedwatchingherwithdark,
accusingeyes.Sheknewshe'ddeliberatelyneedledhimforthe
past
twodays,andnowshewassorry.
He'dhintedthatherbehaviorwasabouttostartsomething,andshewasanxiousnottomakethings
anyworsethantheyalreadywere.
Theproblemwasthatshewasattractedtohim.Themoreshesawofhim,themoreshelikedhim.
Hewasdifferentfromthesuperficial,materialisticmeninherownworld.Hewashardheadedand
stubborn.Hehadvalues,andhespokeoutforthem.Helivedbyarigidcodeofethics,andhonorwas
awordthathadgreatmeaningforhim.Underallthat,hewassensitiveandcaring.Amandacouldn't
helpthewayshewasbeginningtofeelabouthim.Sheonlywishedthatshehadn'tstartedoffonthe
wrongfootwithhim.
Shesetouttowinhimover,actingmorelikeherrealself.Shewaspoliteandcourteousandcaring,
butwithouttheroughedgesshe'dhadinthebeginning.Shestilldidthemending,despitehis
grumbling,andshemadecushionsforthesofaoutofsomeclothHarryhadputaway.Butallher
domesticactionsonlymadethingsworse.Quinnglaredatheropenlynow,andhislackofpoliteness
raisedevenHarry'seyebrows.
Amandahadasneakinghunchthatitwasattractiontoherthatwasmakinghimsoillhumored.He
didn'tactatalllikeanexperiencedman,despitehismarriage,andthewayhelookedatherwas
intense.Ifshecouldbringhimoutintotheopen,shethought,itmighteasethetensionalittle.
Shedidherchores,includingfeedingthecalves,worryingevenmoreaboutthelittlestonebecause
hewasn'trespondingaswelltodayashehadthedaybefore.WhenElliotcamehome,sherefusedto
helphimwiththekeyboarduntilhedidhishomework.Witharuefulsmileandaknowingglanceat
hisdad,hewentuptohisroomtogetitoverwith.
Meanwhile,HarrywentouttogetmorefirewoodandAmandawasleftinthelivingroomwithQuinn
watchinganearlynewscast.
Thenewswas,asusual,allbad.Quinnputouthiscigarettehalfangrily,hisdarkeyeslingeringon
Amanda'ssoftface.
"Don'tyoumissthecity?"heasked.
Shesmiled."Sure.Imisstheexcitementandmyfriends.Butit'snicehere,too."Shemovedtowardthe
bigarmchairhewassittingin,nervouslycontemplatinghernextmove."Youdon'tmindallthat
much,doyou?Havingmearound,Imean?"
Heglaredupather.Hewaswearingablue-checkedflannelshirt,buttoneduptothethroat,andthe
hardmusclesofhischeststrainedagainstit.Helookedtwiceasbigasusual,hisdarkhairunrulyon
hisbroadforeheadashestaredupintohereyes.
"I'mgettingusedtoyou,Iguess,"hesaidstiffly."Justdon'tgettoocomfortable."
"Youreallydon'twantmehere,doyou?"sheaskedquietly.
Hesighedangrily."Idon'tlikewomen,"hemuttered.
"Iknow."Shesatdownonthearmofhischair,facinghim."Whynot?"sheaskedgently.
Hisbodywenttautattheproximity.Shewastooclose.Toofemale.Thescentofhergotintohis
nostrilsandmadehimshiftrestlesslyinthechair."It'snoneofyourdamnedbusinesswhynot,"he
saidevasively."Willyougetupfromthere?"
Shewarmedatthetoneofhisvoice.Soshediddisturbhim!Amandasmiledgentlyassheleaned
forward."Areyousureyouwantmeto?"sheaskedandsuddenlythrewcautiontothewindandslid
downintohislap,puttinghersoftmouthhungrilyonhis.
Hestiffened.Hejerked.Hisbighandsbitintoherarmssohardtheybruised.Butforjustonelong,
sweetmoment,hishardmouthgaveintohersandhegaveherbackthekiss,hislipsroughandwarm,
thepressurebruising,andhegroanedasifallhisdreamshadcometrueatonce.
Hetastedofsmokeforthebriefsecondthatheallowedthekiss.Thenhewasallbristlingindignation
andcoldfury.Heslammedtohisfeet,takingherwithhim,andliterallythrewheraway,sohardthat
shefellagainstandontothesofa.
"Damnyou,"hegroundout.Hisfistsclenchedathissides.Hisbigbodyvibratedwithoutrage.
"Youcheaplittletart!"
Shelaytrembling,frightenedoftheviolenceinhisnowwhitefaceandblazingdarkeyes."I'mnot,"
shedefendedfeebly.
"Can'tyoulivewithoutitforafewdays,orareyoudesperateenoughtotrytoseduceme?"he
hissed.Hiseyesslidoverherwithicycontempt."Itwon'twork.I'vetoldyoualready,Idon'twant
somethingthatanymancanhave!Idon'twantanypartofyou,leastofallyouroverusedbody!"
Shegottoherfeetonlegsthatthreatenedtogivewayunderher,backingawayfromhisanger.She
couldn'tevenspeak.Herfatherhadbeenlikethatwhenhedranktoomuch,white-faced,icyhot,
totallyoutofcontrol.Andwhenhegotthatway,hehit.ShecringedawayfromQuinnashemoved
towardherandsuddenly,shewhirledandranoutoftheroom.
Hecheckedhisinstinctivemovetogoafterher.Soshewasscared,wasshe?Hefrowned,tryingto
understandwhy.He'donlyspokenthetruth;didshenotlikehearingwhatshewas?Thepossibilitythat
he'dbeenwrong,thatshewasn'tacheaplittletart,hewouldn'tadmiteventohimself.
Hesatbackdownandconcentratedonthetelevisionwithoutanyrealinterest.WhenElliotcame
downstairs,Quinnbarelylookedup.
"Where'sAmandagoing?"heaskedhisfather.
Quinnraisedaneyebrow."What?"
"Where'sAmandagoinginsucharush?"Elliotaskedagain."Isawheroutthewindow,tramping
throughwaist-deepsnow.Doesn'tsherememberwhatyoutoldheraboutoldMcNaber'straps?She's
headedstraightforthemifshekeepsonthewayshe'sheaded...Whereareyougoing?"
Quinnwasalreadyonhisfeetandheadedforthebackdoor.Hegotintohisshepherd'scoatandhat
withoutspeaking,hisfacepale,hiseyesblazingwithmingledfearandanger.
"Shewascrying,"Harrymuttered,sparinghimaglance."Idon'tknowwhatyousaidtoher,but—"
"Shutup,"Quinnsaidcoldly.Hestaredtheoldermandownandwentoutthebackdoorandaround
thehouse,followinginthewakeAmanda'sbodyhadmade.Shewasalreadyoutofsight,andthose
trapswouldbeburiedunderseveralfeetofsnow.Beartraps,andshewouldn'tseethemuntilshefelt
them.Thethoughtofthatmercilessmetalbitinghersoftfleshdidn'tbearthinkingabout,anditwould
behisfaultbecausehe'dhurther.
Severalmetersahead,intothewoodsnow,Amandawascursingsilentlyassheplowedthroughthe
snowdrifts,herblackeyesfierceeventhroughthetears.DamnQuinnSutton,shepanted.Shehoped
hegoteatenbymothsduringthewinter,shehopedhishorsestoodonhisfoot,shehopedthesledran
overhimandpackedhimintothesnowandnobodyfoundhimuntilspring.Itwasonlyakiss,after
all,andhe'dkissedherbackjustforafewseconds.
Shefeltthetearsburningcoldlydownhercheeksastheystartedagain.Damnhim.Hehadn'thadto
makeherfeellikesuchananimal,justbecauseshe'dkissedhim.Shecaredabouthim.She'donly
wantedtogetonafriendlierfootingwithhim.Butnowshe'ddoneit.Hehatedherforsure,she'dseen
itinhiseyes,inhisface,whenhe'dcalledherthosenames.Cheaplittletart,indeed!Well,GoodyTwo
ShoesSuttoncouldjustholdhisbreathuntilshekissedhimagain,sothere!
Shestoppedtocatchherbreathandthenplowedon.Thecabinwassomewheredownhere.She'dstay
initevenifshedidfreezetodeath.She'dshackupwithagrizzlybearbeforeshe'dspendonemore
nightunderQuinnSutton'sroof.Shefrowned.Weretheregrizzlybearsinthispartofthecountry?
"Amanda,stop!"
Shepaused,wonderingifshe'dheardsomeonecallhername,orifithadjustbeenthewind.Shewas
inabreakoflodgepolepinesnow,andacabinwasjustbelowinthevalley.Butitwasn'tMr.
Durning'scabin.CouldthatbeMcNaber's...?
"Amanda!"
Thatwasdefinitelyhername.Sheglancedoverhershoulderandsawthefamiliarshepherd'scoat
anddarkwornStetsonatopthatarroganthead.
"Eatsnow,GoodyTwoShoes!"sheyelledback."I'mgoinghome!"
Shestartedahead,pushinghardnow.Buthehadtheedge,becausehewaswalkinginthepathshe'd
made.Hewasbiggerandfaster,andhehadtwiceherstamina.Beforeshegotfivemorefeet,hehad
herbythewaist.
Shefoughthim,kickingandhitting,buthesimplywrappedbotharmsaroundherandheldonuntil
shefinallyranoutofstrength.
"Ihateyou,"shepanted,shiveringasthecoldandtheexertiongottoher."Ihateyou!"
"You'dhatememoreifIhadn'tstoppedyou,"hesaid,breathinghard."McNaberlivesdownthere.
He'sgotbeartrapsallovertheplace.Justafewmoresteps,andyou'dhavebeenuptoyourkneesin
them,youlittlefool!Youcan'tevenseetheminsnowthisdeep!".
"Whatwouldyoucare?"shegroaned."Youdon'twantmearound.Idon'twanttostaywithyou
anymore.I'lltakemychancesatthecabin!"
"No,youwon't,Amanda,"hesaid.Hisembracedidn'tevenloosen.Hewhippedheraround,hisbig
handsroughonhersleevesasheshookher."You'recomingbackwithme,ifIhavetocarryyou!"
Sheflinched,theviolenceinhimfrighteningher.Sheswallowed,herlowerliptremblingand
pulledfeeblyagainsthishands.
"Letgoofme,"shewhispered.Hervoiceshook,andshehatedherowncowardice.
Hescowled.Shewaspaperwhite.Belatedlyherealizedwhatwaswrongandhishandsreleasedher.
Shebackedawayasfarasthesnowwouldallowandstoodlikeayoungdoeatbay,hereyesdarkand
frightened.
"Didhehityou?"heaskedquietly.
Shedidn'thavetoaskwho.Sheshivered."Onlywhenhedrank,"shesaid,hervoicefaltering."But
healwaysdrank."Shelaughedbitterly."Just...don'tcomeanycloseruntilyoucooldown,ifyou
please."
Hetookaslow,steadyingbreath."I'msorry,"hesaid,shockingher."No,Imeanit.I'mreallysorry.I
wouldn'thavehityou,ifthat'swhatyou'rethinking.Onlyacowardwouldraisehishandtoawoman,"
hesaidwithcoldconviction.
Shewrappedherarmsaroundherselfandstood,justbreathing,shiveringinthecold.
"We'dbettergetbackbeforeyoufreeze,"hesaidtautly.Herverydefensivenessdisarmedhim.He
feltguiltyandprotectiveallatonce.Hewantedtotakehertohisheartandcomforther,butevenashe
steppedtowardher,shebackedaway.Hehadn'timaginedhowmuchthatwouldhurtuntilithappened.
Hestoppedandstoodwherehewas,raisinghishandsinanoddgestureofhelplessness."Iwon'ttouch
you,"hepromised."Comeon,honey.Youcangofirst."
Tearsfilmedherdarkeyes.Itwasthefirstendearmentshe'deverheardfromhimandittouched
herdeeply.Butsheknewitwasonlycasual.Herbehaviorhadshockedhimandhedidn'tknowwhatto
do.Sheletoutalongbreath.
Withoutaquiporcomeback,sheeasedpasthimwarilyandstartedbackthewaythey'dcome.He
followedher,givingthanksthathe'dbeenintime,thatshehadn'trunafoulofoldMcNaber'straps.
Butnowhe'dreallydoneit.He'dmanagedtomakeherafraidofhim.
Shewentaheadofhimintothehouse.ElliotandHarrytookonelookatherfaceandQuinn'sand
didn'taskasinglequestion.
Shesatatthesuppertablelikeastatue.Shedidn'tspeak,evenwhenElliottriedtobringherintothe
conversation.Andafterward,shecurledupinachairinthelivingroomandsatlikeamouse
watchingtelevision.
Quinncouldn'tknowthememorieshe'dbroughtback,thesearingfearofherchildhood.Herfather
hadbeenabigman,andhewasalwaysviolentwhenhedrank.Hewassorryafterward,sometimeshe
evencriedwhenhesawthebruiseshe'dputonher.Butitneverstoppedhim.She'drunawaybecause
itwasmorethanshecouldbear,andfortunatelythere'dbeenaplaceforrunawaysthattookherin.
She'dlearnedvolumesabouthumankindnessfromthosepeople.Butthememorieswerebitterand
Quinn'sbridledviolencehadbroughtthemsweepinginlikestormclouds.
Elliotdidn'taskheraboutmusiclessons.Heexcusedhimselfahalfhourearlyandwentuptobed.
Harryhadlongsincegonetohisownroom.
Quinnsatinhisbigchair,smokinghiscigarette,buthestartedwhenAmandaputherfeetonthe
floorandglancedwarilyathim.
"Don'tgoyet,"hesaidquietly."Iwanttotalktoyou."
"Wedon'thaveanythingtosaytoeachother,"shesaidquietly."I'mverysorryforwhatIdidthis
afternoon.Itwasimpulsiveandstupid,andIpromiseI'llneverdoitagain.Ifyoucanjustputupwith
meuntilitthawsalittle,you'llneverhavetoseemeagain."
Hesighedwearily."IsthatwhatyouthinkIwant?"heasked,searchingherface.
"Ofcourseitis,"sherepliedsimply."You'vehatedhavingmehereeversinceIcame."
"MaybeIhave.I'vegotmorereasontohateanddistrustwomenthanyou'lleverknow.Butthatisn't
whatIwanttotalkabout,"hesaid,avertinghisgazefromherwanface.Hedidn'tlikethinkingabout
thatkissandhowdisturbingithadbeen."IwanttoknowwhyyouthoughtImighthityou."
Shedroppedhereyestoherlap."You'rebig,likemyfather,"shesaid."Whenhelosthistemper,he
alwayshit."
"I'mnotyourfather,"Quinnpointedout,hisdarkeyesnarrowing."AndI'veneverhitanyoneina
temper,exceptmaybeanothermanfromtimetotimewhenitwascalledfor.Ineverraisedmyhandto
Elliot'smother,althoughIfeltlikeitatimeortwo,inallhonesty.Ineverliftedahandtohereven
whenshetoldmeshewaspregnantwithElliot."
"Whyshouldyouhave?"sheaskedabsently."He'syourson."
Helaughedcoldly."No,heisn't."
Shestaredathimopenly."Elliotisn'tyours?"sheaskedsoftly.
Heshookhishead."Hismotherwashavinganaffairwithamarriedmanandshegotcaughtout."
Heshrugged."Iwastwenty-twoandgrassgreenandshemountedacampaigntomarryme.IguessI
wasprettymuchasittingduck.Shewasbeautifulandstackedandshehadmeeatingoutofherhandin
notime.Wegotmarriedandrightaftertheceremony,shetoldmewhatshe'ddone.Shelaughedat
howclumsyI'dbeenduringthecourtship,howshe'dhadtosteelherselfnottobesickwhenI'dkissed
her.ShetoldmeaboutElliot'sfatherandhowmuchshelovedhim,thenshedaredmetotellpeople
thetruthabouthoweasyithadbeentomakememarryher.''Heblewoutacloudofsmoke,hiseyes
coldwithmemory."Shehadmeoverabarrel.IwastwiceasproudbackthenasIamnow.Icouldn't
beartohavethewholecommunitylaughingatme.SoIstuckitout.UntilElliotwasborn,andsheand
hisfathertookoffforpartsunknownforaweekendoflove.Unfortunatelyforthem,hewreckedthe
carinhishastetogettoamotelandkilledbothofthemoutright."
"DoesElliotknow?"sheasked,hervoicequietassheglancedtowardthestaircase.
"Sure,"hesaid."Icouldn'tlietohimaboutit.ButItookcareofhimfromthetimehewasababy,
andIraisedhim.ThatmakesmehisfatherjustassurelyasifI'dputtheseedhegrewfromintohis
mother'sbody.He'smyson,andI'mhisfather.Ilovehim."
Shestudiedhishardface,seeingbehindittothepainhemusthavesuffered."Youlovedher,didn't
you?"
"Calflove,"hesaid."ShecameuponmyblindsideandIneededsomebodytolove.I'dalwaysbeen
shyandclumsyaroundgirls.Icouldn'tevengetadatewhenIwasinschoolbecauseIwassorough
edged.Shepaidmealotofattention.Iwaslonely."Hisbigshouldersshrugged."LikeIsaid,asitting
duck.Shetaughtmesomehardlessonsaboutyoursex,"headded,hisnarrowedeyesonherface.
"I'veneverforgottenthem.Andnobody'shadasecondchanceatme."
Herbreathcameoutasasigh."That'swhatyouthoughtthisafternoon,whenIkissedyou,"she
murmured,reddeningatherownforwardness."I'msorry.1didn'trealizeyoumightthinkIwas
playingyouforasucker."
Hefrowned."Whydidyoukissme,Amanda?"
"Wouldyoubelieve,becauseIwantedto?"sheaskedwithaquietsmile."You'reaveryattractive
man,andsomethingaboutyoumakesmeweakintheknees.Butyoudon'thavetoworryaboutme
comingontoyouagain,"sheadded,gettingtoherfeet."Youteachaprettytoughlessonyourself.
Goodnight,Mr.Sutton.IappreciateyourtellingmeaboutElliot.Youneedn'tworrythatI'llsay
anythingtohimortoanybodyelse.Idon'tcarrytales,andIdon'tgossip."
Sheturnedtowardthestaircase,andQuinn'sdarkeyesfollowedher.Shehadaneleganceofcarriage
thattouchedhim,fullofprideandgrace.Hewassorrynowthathe'dslappedherdownsohardwith
cruelwords.Hereallyhadn'tmeantto.He'dbeenafraidthatshewasgoingtolethimdown,thatshe
wasplaying.Ithadn'toccurredtohimthatshefoundhimattractiveorthatshe'dkissedhimbecause
she'dreallywantedto.
He'dmadeabadmistakewithAmanda.He'dhurtherandsentherrunning,andnowhewishedhe
couldtakebackthethingshe'dsaid.Shewasn'tlikeanywomanhe'deverbeenexposedto.She
actuallyseemedunawareofherbeauty,asifshedidn'tthinkmuchofit.Maybehe'dgottenitall
wrongandshewasn'tmuchmoreexperiencedthanhewas.Hewishedhecouldaskher.Shedisturbed
himverymuch,andnowhewonderedifitwasn'tmutual.
Amandawaslyinginbed,crying.Thedayhadbeenhorrible,andshehatedQuinnforthewayhe'd
treatedher.Itwasn'tuntilsherememberedwhathe'dtoldherthatshestoppedcryingandstarted
thinking.He'dsaidthathe'dneversleptwithElliot'smother,andthathehadn'tbeenabletogetdatesin
highschool.PresumablythatmeantthathisonlyexperiencewithwomenhadbeenafterElliot's
motherdied.Shefrowned.Therehadn'tbeenmanywomen,shewaswillingtobet.Heseemedto
knowrelativelynothingabouthersex.Shefrowned.Ifhestillhatedwomen,howhadhegottenany
experience?Finallyhermindgrewtiredoftryingtoworkitoutandshewenttosleep.
AmandawasuphelpingHarryinthekitchenthenextmorningwhenQuinncamedownstairsaftera
wild,eroticdreamthatlefthimsweatingandswearingwhenhewokeup.Amandahadfiguredlargely
init,withherblondhairlooseanddowntoherlowerspine,hishandstwinedinitwhilehemadelove
toherinthestillnessofhisownbedroom.Thedreamhadbeensovividthathecouldalmostseethe
pinkperfectionofherbreaststhroughthebulky,white-knitsweatershewaswearing,andhealmost
groanedashiseyesfelltotheriseandfallofherchestunderit.
SheglancedatQuinnandactuallyflushedbeforeshedraggedhereyesbackdowntothepanof
biscuitsshewasputtingintotheoven.
"Ididn'tknowyoucouldmakebiscuits,"Quinnmurmured.
"Harrytaughtme,"shesaidevasively.Hereyeswentbacktohimagainandflittedaway.
Hefrownedatthatshylookuntilherealizedwhyhewasgettingit.Heusuallykepthisshirtsbuttoned
uptohisthroat,butthismorninghe'dleftitopenhalfwaydownhischestbecausehewasstill
sweatingfromthatdream.Hepursedhislipsandgaveheraspeculativestare.Hewonderedifitwere
possiblethathedisturbedherasmuchasshedisturbedhim.Hewasgoingtomakeithisbusinessto
findoutbeforeshelefthere.Iffornootherreasonthantosalvehisbruisedego.
HewentoutbehindElliot,pausinginthedoorway."How'sthecalf?"heaskedAmanda.
"Hewasn'tdoingverywellyesterday,"shesaidwithasigh."Maybehe'sbetterthismorning."
"I'llhavealookathimbeforeIgoout."Heglancedoutatthesnow."Don'ttrytogetbacktothe
cabinagain,willyou?Youcan'tgetthroughMcNaber'strapswithoutknowingwheretheyare."
Heactuallysoundedworried.Shestudiedhishardfacequietly.Thatwasnice.Unless,ofcourse,he
wasonlyworriedthatshemightgetlaidupandhe'dhavetoputupwithherforevenlonger.
"Isthesnowevergoingtostop?"sheasked.
"Hardtosay,"hetoldher."I'veseenitworsethanthisevenearlierintheyear.Butwe'llmanage,I
suppose."
"Isuppose."Sheglaredathim.
Hepulledonhiscoatandbuttonedit,proppinghishatoveroneeye."Inatemperthismorning,are
we?"hemused.
Hiseyeswereactuallytwinkling.Sheshiftedbackagainstthecounter,gratefulthatHarryhadgone
offtocleanthebedrooms."I'mnotinatemper.Cheaplittletartsdon'thavetempers."
Oneeyebrowwentup."Icalledyouthat,didn'tI?"Helethiseyesrunslowlydownherbody."You
shouldn'thavekissedmelikethat.I'mnotusedtoaggressivewomen."
"RestassuredthatI'llneverattackyouagain,GoodyTwoShoes."
Hechuckledsoftly."Won'tyou?Well,disappointmentisaman'slot,Isuppose."
Hereyeswidened.Shewasn'tsureshe'devenheardhim."Youwerehorribletome!"
"IguessIwas."Hisdarkeyesheldhers,makinglittlechillsupanddownherspineattheintensity
ofthegaze."Ithoughtyouwereplayinggames.Youknow,alittleharmlessfunatthehick'sexpense."
"Idon'tknowhowtoplaygameswithmen,"shesaidstiffly,"andnobody,anywhere,couldcallyou
ahickwithastraightface.You'reaverymasculinemanwithakeenmindandanoverworkedsenseof
responsibility.Iwouldn'tmakefunofyouevenifIcould."
Hisdarkeyessmiledintohers."Inthatcase,wemightcallatruceforthetimebeing."
"Doyouthinkyoucouldstandbeingnicetome?"sheaskedsourly."Imean,itwouldbeastrain,
I'msure."
"I'mnotabadman,"hepointedout."Ijustdon'tknowmuchaboutwomen,orhadn'tthatthought
occurred?"
Shesearchedhiseyes."No."
"We'llhavetohavealongtalkaboutitoneofthesedays."Hepulledthehatdownoverhiseyes.
"I'llcheckonthecalvesforyou."
"Thanks."Shewatchedhimgo,herheartracingatthelookinhiseyesjustbeforeheclosedthe
door.Shewasmorenervousofhimnowthanever,butshedidn'tknowwhattodoaboutit.Shewas
hopingthatthechinookwouldcomebeforeshehadtostartworryingtoomuch.Shewastooconfused
toknowwhattodoanymore.
ChapterFive
Amandafinishedthebreakfastdishesbeforeshewentouttothebarn.Quinnwasstillthere,hisdark
eyesquietonthesmallestofthethreecalves.Itdidn'ttakeafortunetellertoseethatsomethingwas
badlywrong.Thesmallanimallayonitsside,itsdull,lacklusterred-and-whitecoatshowingitsribs,
itseyesglazedandunseeingwhileitfoughttobreathe.
ShekneltbesideQuinnandheglancedatherwithconcern.
"You'dbettergobackinthehouse,honey,"hesaid.
Hereyesslidoverthesmallcalf.She'dseenpetsdieovertheyears,andnowsheknewthesigns.
Thecalfwasdying.Quinnknewit,too,andwastryingtoshieldher.
Thattouchedher,oddly,morethananythinghe'dsaidordonesinceshe'dbeenonRicochet.She
lookedupathim."You'reaniceman,QuinnSutton,"shesaidsoftly.
Hedrewinaslowbreath."WhenI'mnottakingbitesoutofyou,youmean?"hereplied."Ithurtslike
hellwhenyoubackawayfromme.You'llneverknowhowsorryIamforwhathappenedyesterday."
Oneshockafteranother.Atleastittookhermindoffthepoor,laboringcreaturebesidethem."I'm
sorry,too,"shesaid."Ishouldn'thavebeenso..."Shestopped,avertinghereyes."Idon'tknowmuch
aboutmen,Quinn,"shesaidfinally."I'vespentmywholeadultlifebackingawayfrominvolvement,
emotionalorphysical.Iknowhowtoflirt,butnotmuchmore."Sheriskedaglanceathim,and
relaxedwhenshesawhisface."MyauntisMr.Durning'slover,youknow.She'sanartist.Alittle
flighty,butnice.I've...neverhadalover."
Henoddedquietly."I'vebeengettingthatideasincewewoundupnearMcNaber'scabinyesterday.
Youreactedprettyviolentlyforanexperiencedwoman."Helookedawayfromher.Thatvulnerability
inherprettyfacewasworkingonhimagain."Goinsidenow.Icandealwiththis."
"I'mnotafraidofdeath,"shereturned."Isawmymotherdie.Itwasn'tscaryatall.Shejustclosed
hereyes."
Hisdarkeyesmethersandlocked."Myfatherwentthesameway."Helookedbackdownatthecalf.
"Itwon'tbelongnow."
Shesatdowninthehaybesidehimandslidhersmallhandintohisbigone.Hehelditforalong
moment.Finallyhisvoicebrokethesilence."It'sover.Gohaveacupofcoffee.I'lltakecareofhim."
Shehadn'tmeanttocry,butthecalfhadbeensolittleandhelpless.Quinnpulledherclose,holding
herwithquietcomfort,whileshecried.Thenhewipedthetearsawaywithhisthumbsandsmiled
gently."You'lldo,"hemurmured,thinkingthatsensitivityandcouragewasanicecombinationina
woman.
Shewasthinkingtheexactsamethingabouthim.Shemanagedawaterysmileandwithonelast,
pityinglookatthecalf,shewentintothehouse.
Elliotwouldmissit,asshewould,shethought.EvenQuinnhadseemedtocareaboutit,becauseshe
sawhimoccasionallysittingbyit,pettingit,talkingtoit.Helovedlittlethings.Itwasevidentinallthe
kittensandpuppiesaroundtheplace,andinthetendercarehetookofallhiscattleandcalves.And
althoughQuinncursedoldmanMcNaber'straps,Elliothadtoldherthathestoppedbyeveryweekto
checkonthedouroldmanandmakesurehehadenoughchoppedwoodandsupplies.Forataciturn
iceman,hehadasurprisinglywarmcenter.
ShetoldHarrywhathadhappenedandsniffedalittlewhileshedrankblackcoffee."IsthereanythingI
cando?"sheasked.
Hesmiled."Youdoenough,"hemurmured."Nicetohavesomehelparoundtheplace."
"Quinnhasn'texactlythoughtso,"shesaiddryly.
"Oh,yeshehas,"hesaidfirmlyasheclearedawaythedishesthey'deatenhishomemadesoupand
cornbreadin."QuinncouldhavetakenyoutoMrs.Pearsondownthemountainifhe'dhadamindto.
Hedoesn'thavetoletyoustayhere.Mrs.Pearsonwouldbegladofthecompany."Heglancedather
andgrinnedatherperplexedexpression."He'sbeenwatchingyoulately.Seesthewayyousewuphis
shirtsandmakecurtainsandpatchpillows.It'snewtohim,havingawomanabout.Hehasahardtime
withchange."
"Don'tweall?''Amandasaidsoftly,rememberinghowclearherownlifehadbeenuntilthattragic
night.ButitwasnicetoknowthatQuinnhadbeenwatchingher.Certainlyshe'dbeenwatchinghim.
Andthismorning,everythingseemedtohavechangedbetweenthem."Whenwillitthaw?"sheasked,
andnowshewasdreadingit,notanticipatingit.Shedidn'twanttoleaveRicochet.OrQuinn.
Harryshrugged."Hardtotell.Days.Weeks.Thisisrawmountaincountry.Can'tpredictachinook.
Plentythinktheycan,though,"headded,andproceededtotellheraboutaBiackfootwhopredicted
theweatherwithjarsofbeargrease.
Shewasmuchcalmer,butstillsadwhenQuinnfinallycamebackinside.
Hesparedheraglancebeforeheshuckedhiscoat,washedhishandsandbrawnyforearmsanddried
themonatowel.
Hedidn'tsayanythingtoher,andHarry,sensingtheatmosphere,madehimselfscarceafterhe'd
pouredtwocupsofcoffeeforthem.
"Areyouallright?"heaskedherafteraminute,staringdownatherbenthead.
"Sure."Sheforcedasmile."Hewassolittle,Quinn."Shestoppedwhenhervoicebrokeandlowered
hereyestothetable."IguessyouthinkI'mawimp."
"Notreally."Withouttakingtimetothinkabouttheconsequences,hisleanhandspulledherupbythe
arms,holdingherinfrontofhimsothathereyeswereonalevelwithhisdeepblue,plaidflannel
shirt.Thesleeveswererolledup,anditwasopenatthethroat,wherethick,darkhaircurledoutofit.
HelookedandsmelledfiercelymasculineandAmanda'skneesweakenedattheunexpectedproximity.
Hisbighandsbitintohersoftflesh,andshewonderedabsentlyifherealizedjusthowstronghewas.
Thefeelofhimsoclosewasnewandterriblyexciting,especiallysincehe'dreachedforherforthe
firsttime.Shedidn'tknowwhattoexpect,andherheartwasgoingwild.Sheloweredhereyestohis
throat.Hispulsewasjumpingandshestaredatitcuriously,onlyhalfawareofhisholdandthe
suddenincreaseofhisbreathing.
Hewashavinghelljustgettingabreath.Thescentofherwasinhisnostrils,drowninghim.Woman
smell.Sweetandwarm.Histeethclenched.Itwasbadenoughhavingtolookather,butthisclose,she
madehisbloodrunhotandwildasithadn'tsincehewasayoungman.Hedidn'tknowwhathewas
doing,buttheneedforherhadhauntedhimfordays.Hewantedsobadlytokissher,thewayshe'd
kissedhimthedaybefore,butinadifferentway.Hewasn'tquitesurehowtogoaboutit.
"Yousmellofflowers,"hesaidroughly.
Thatwasaninterestingcommentfromanonpoeticman.Shesmiledalittletoherself."It'smy
shampoo,"shemurmured.
Hedrewinasteadyingbreath."Youdon'twearyourhairdownatall,doyou?"
"Justatnight,"shereplied,awarethathisfacewascloserthanithadbeen,becauseshecouldfeel
hisbreathonherforehead.Hewassotallandoverwhelmingthisclose.Hemadeherfeeltinyand
veryfeminine.
"I'msorryaboutthecalf,Amanda,"hesaid."Weloseafeweverywinter.It'spartofranching."
Theshockofhernameonhislipsmadeherliftherhead.Shestaredupathimcuriously,searching
hisdark,quieteyes."Isupposeso.Ishouldn'thavegottensoupset,though.Iguessmendon'treactto
thingsthewaywomendo."
"Youdon'tknowwhatkindofmanIam,"hereplied.Hishandsfeltvaguelytremulous.He
wonderedifsheknewtheeffectshehadonhim."Asithappens,Igetattachedtothedamnedthings,
too."Hesighedheavily."Littlethingsdon'thavemuchchoiceinthisworld.They'reatthemercyof
everythingandeverybody."
Hereyessoftenedastheysearchedhis.Hesoundeddifferentwhenhespokethatway.Vulnerable.
Almosttender.Andsoalone.
"Youaren'treallyafraidofme,areyou?"heasked,asifthethoughtwasactuallypainful.
Shegrimaced."No.Ofcoursenot.IwasashamedofwhatI'ddone,andalittlenervousofthewayyou
reactedtoit,that'sall.Iknowyouwouldn'thurtme."Shedrewinasoftbreath."Iknowyouresent
havingmehere,"sheconfessed."Iresentedhavingtodependonyouforshelter.Butthesnowwill
meltsoon,andI'llleave."
"Ithoughtyou'dhadlovers,"heconfessedquietly."Thewayyouacted...well,itjustmadeallthose
suspicionsworse.Itookyouatfacevalue."
Amandasmiled."Itwasallput-on.Idon'tevenknowwhyIdidit.IguessIwastryingtolivedown
toyourimageofme."
Helovedthesensationhersultryblackeyesarousedinhim.Unconsciouslyhishandstightenedonher
arms,"Youhaven'thadaman,ever?"heaskedhuskily.
Theoddshadowofduskycoloralonghischeekbonesfascinatedher.Shewonderedaboutthe
embarrassmentaskingthequestionhadcaused."No.Notever,"shestammered.
"Thewayyoulook?"heasked,hiseyeseloquent,"Whatdoyoumean,thewayIlook?"shesaid,
bristling.
"Youknowyou'rebeautiful,"hereturned.Hiseyesdarkened."Awomanwholookslikeyoudo
couldhaveherpickofmen."
"Maybe,"sheagreedwithoutconceit."ButI'veneverwantedamaninmylife,tobedominatedbya
man.I'vemademyownwayintheworld.I'mamusician,"shetoldhim,becausethatdidn'tgiveaway
verymuch."Isupportmyselfbyplayingakeyboard."
"Yes,Elliottoldme.I'veheardyouplayforhim.You'regood."Hefelthisheartbeatincreasingas
helookedather.Shesmelledsogood.Helookeddownathermouthandrememberedhowithadfelt
forthosefewsecondswhenhe'dgivenintoherplayfulkiss.Wouldshelethimdoit?Heknewso
littleaboutthosesubtlemessageswomenweresupposedtosendoutwhentheywantedaman's
lovemaking.Hecouldn'treadAmanda'seyes.Butherlipswerepartedandherbreathwascoming
ratherfastfrombetweenthem.Herfacewasflushed,butthatcouldhavebeenfromthecold.
Shegazedupintohiseyesandcouldn'tlookaway.Hewasn'thandsome.Hisfacereallyseemedas
ifithadbeenchippedawayfromthesideoftheRockies,allcraggyanglesandhardlines.Hismouth
wasthinandfaintlycruellooking.Shewonderedifitwould
feelashardasitlookedifhewasincontrol,dominat-
ingherlips.Ithadbeendifferentwhenshe'dkissed
him
"Whatareyouthinking?"heaskedhuskily,becausehereyeswerequitefranklyonhismouth.
"I...waswondering,"shewhisperedhesitantly,"howhardyourmouthwouldbeifyoukissedme."
Hisheartstoppedandthenbegantoslamagainsthischest."Don'tyouknowalready?"heasked,his
voicedeeper,harsher."Youkissedme."
"Not...properly."
Hewonderedwhatshemeantbyproperly.Hiswifehadonlykissedhimwhenshehadto,andonly
intheverybeginningoftheircourtship.Shealwayspushedhimawayandmurmuredsomethingabout
mussinghermakeup.Hecouldn'trememberonetimewhenhe'dkissedanyonewithpassion,orwhen
he'deverbeenkissedbyanyoneelselikethat.
Hiswarm,roughhandsletgoofherarmsandcameuptoframehersoftovalface.Hisbreath
shudderedoutofhischestwhenshedidn'tprotestashebenthisdarkhead.
"Showmewhatyoumean...byproperly,"hewhispered.
Hehadtoknow,shethoughtdizzily.Buthislipstouchedhersandshetastedthewindandthesunon
them.Herhandsclenchedthethickflannelshirtandsheresistedsearchingforbuttons,becauseshe
wantedverymuchtotouchthatthicketofblack,curlinghairthatcoveredhisbroadchest.Shewenton
hertiptoesandpushedhermouthagainsthis,theforceoftheactionpartinghislipsaswellasher
own,andshefelthimstiffenandheardhimgroanastheiropenmouthsmet.
Shedroppedbackontoherfeet,herwide,curiouseyesmeetinghisstormyones.
"Likethat?"hewhisperedgruffly,bendingtorepeattheactionwithhisownmouth."I'veneverdone
it...withmymouthopen,"hesaid,bitingoffthewordsagainstheropenlips.
Shecouldn'tbelievehe'dsaidthat.Shecouldn'tbelieve,either,thesensationsripplingdowntoher
toeswhenshegaveintotheforceofhisardorandlethimkissherthatway,hismouthroughand
demandingasonebighandslidtothebackofherheadtopressherevencloser.
Asoftsoundpassedherlips,afaintmoan,becauseshecouldn'tgetcloseenoughtohim.Herbreasts
wereflattenedagainsthishardchest,andshefelthisheartbeatagainstthem.Butshewantedtobe
closerthanthat,enveloped,crushedtohim.
"DidIhurtyou?"heaskedinashakywhisperthattouchedherlips.
"What?"shewhisperedbackdizzily.
"Youmadeasound."
Hereyessearchedhis,herownmistyandhalfclosedandrapt."Imoaned,"shewhispered.Hernails
strokedhimthroughtheshirtandshelikedthefainttautnessofhisbodyashereactedtoit."Ilike
beingkissedlikethat."Sherubbedherforeheadagainsthim,smellingsoapanddetergentandpure
man."Couldwetakeyourshirtoff?"shewhispered.
Herhandsweredrivinghimnuts,andhewaswonderingthesamethinghimself.Butsomewherein
thebackofhismindherememberedthatHarrywasaround,andthatitmightlookcompromisingif
helethertouchhimthatway.Infact,itmightgetcompromising,becausehefelthisbodyhardenina
wayithadn'tsincehismarriage.Andbecauseitmadehimvulnerableandhedidn'twanthertofeelit,
hetookhergentlybythearmsandmovedherawayfromhimwithamuffledcurse.
"Harry,"hesaid,hisbreathcomingdeepandrough.
Shecolored."Oh,yes."Shemovedback,hereyesalittlewild.
"Youdon'thavetolooksothreatened.Iwon'tdoitagain,"hesaid,misunderstandingherretreat.
Hadhefrightenedheragain?
"Oh,it'snotthat.Youdidn'tfrightenme."She
loweredhereyestothefloor."I'mjustwonderingif
you'llthinkI'measy___"
Hescowled."Easy?"
"Idon'tusuallycomeontomen,"shesaidsoftly.
"AndI'veneveraskedanybodytotakehisshirtoff
before."Sheglancedupathim,fascinatedbythe
expressiononhisface."Well,Ihaven't,"shesaid
belligerently."Andyoudon'thavetoworry;Iwon't
throwmyselfatyouanymore,either.Ijustgotcar-
riedawayintheheatofthemoment___"
Hiseyebrowsarched.Noneofwhatshewassayingmadesense."Likeyoudidyesterday?"he
mused,likingthecolorthatcameandwentinherface."Ididaccuseyouofthrowingyourselfatme,"
hesaidonalongsigh.
"Yes.YouseemtothinkI'msomesortofliberatedsexmaniac."
Hislipscurledinvoluntarily."Areyou?"heasked,andsoundedinterested.
Shestampedherfoot."Stopthat.Idon'twanttostayhereanymore!"
"I'mnotsureit'sagoodideamyself,"hemused,watchinghereyesglitterwithrage.God,shewas
pretty!"Imean,ifyoutriedtoseduceme,thingscouldgetsticky."
Theredinhercheeksgotdarker."Idon'thaveanyplanstoseduceyou."
"Well,ifyougetany,you'dbettertellmeinadvance,"hesaid,pullingacigarettefromhisshirt
pocket."JustsoIcanbepreparedtofightyouoff."
Thatdrydrawlconfusedher.Suddenlyhewasadifferentman,fullofmalearroganceand
amusement.Thingshadshiftedbetweenthemduringthatlong,hardkiss.Thedistancehadshortened,
andhewaslookingatherwithanexpressionshecouldn'tquiteunderstand.
"Howdidyougettotheageyouarewithoutwindingupinsomeone'sbed?"Quinnaskedthen.He'd
wonderedathershynesswithhimandthenatthewaysheblushedallthetime.Hedidn'tknowmuch
aboutwomen,buthewantedtoknoweverythingabouther.
Amandawrappedherarmsaroundherselfandshrugged.Whenhelithiscigaretteandstillstoodthere
waitingforananswer,shegaveinandreplied."Icouldn'tgiveupcontrol,"shesaidsimply."Allmy
lifeI'dbeendominatedandpushedaroundbymyfather.Givingintoamanseemedlikethrowing
awaymyrightsasaperson.Especiallygivingintoamaninbed,"shestammered,avertinghergaze.
"Idon'tthinkthere'sanyplaceintheworldwhereamanismorethemasterthaninabedroom,despite
alltheliberationandfreedomofmodernlife."
"Andyouthinkthatwomenshoulddominatethere."
Shelookedup."Well,notdominate."Shehesitated."Butawomanshouldn'tbeusedjustbecauseshe's
awoman."
Histhinmouthcurledslightly."Neithershouldaman."
"Iwasn'tusingyou,"sheshotback.
"DidIaccuseyou?"hereturnedinnocently.
Sheswallowed."No,Iguessnot."Shefoldedherarmsoverherbreasts,wincingbecausethetipswere
hardandunexpectedlytender.
"Thathardnessmeansyoufeeldesire,"hesaid,grinningwhenshegapedandthenglaredathim.
Shemadehimfeelabouttenfeettall."Ireadthisbookaboutsex,"hecontinued."Itdidn'tmakemuch
sensetomeatthetime,butit'sbeginningto."
"Iamnotavailableasalivingmodelforsexeducation!"
Heshrugged."Suityourself.Butit'sahellofalosstomyeducation."
"Youdon'tneededucating,"shemuttered."Youweremarried."
Henodded."SureIwas."Hepursedhislipsandlethiseyesrunlazilyoverherbody."Exceptthatshe
neverwantedme,beforeorafterImarriedher."
Amanda'slipsparted."Oh,Quinn,"shesaidsoftly."I'msorry."
"SowasI,atthetime."Heshookhishead."IusedtowonderatfirstwhyshepulledbackeverytimeI
kissedher.Iguessshewassufferingituntilshecouldgetmetoputtheringonherfinger.Upuntil
then,Ithoughtitwasherscruplesthatkeptmeatarm'slength.Butsheneverhadmanymorals."He
staredatAmandacuriously,surprisedathoweasyitwastotellherthingshe'dneversharedwith
anotherhumanbeing."AfterIfoundoutwhatshereallywas,Icouldn'thavecaredlessaboutsharing
herbed."
"No,Idon'tsupposeso,"sheagreed.
Heliftedthecigarettetohislipsandhiseyesnarrowedashestudiedher."Elliot'salmostthirteen,"he
said."He'sbeenmywholelife.I'vetakencareofhimanddoneforhim.Heknowsthere'snobloodtie
betweenus,butIlovehimandhelovesme.Inalltheimportantways,I'mhisfatherandhe'smyson.*'
"Helovesyouverymuch,"shesaidwithasmile."Hetalksaboutyouallthetime."
"He'sagoodboy."Hemovedalittlecloser,noticinghowshetensedwhenhecameclose.Heliked
thatreactionalot.Ittoldhimthatshewasawareofhim,butshyandreticent."Youdon'thavemen,"he
saidsoftly."Well,Idon'thavewomen."
"Notfor...afewmonths?"shestammered,becauseshecouldn'timaginethathewastellingthe
truth.
Heshruggedhispowerfulshoulders."Well,notforabitlongerthanthat.Notmuchopportunityup
here.AndIcan'tgooffandleaveElliotwhileItomcataroundtown.It'sbeenabitlongerthanthirteen
years."
"Abit?"
Helookeddownatherwithacurious,mockingsmile."WhenIwasaboy,Ididn'tknowhowtoget
girls.Iwasbigandclumsyandshy,soitwastheotherboyswhoscored."Hetookanotherdraw,a
slightlyjerkyone,fromhiscigarette."Istillhavethesameproblemaroundmostwomen.It'snotso
muchhatredasalackofability,andshyness.Idon'tknowhowtocomeontoawoman,"heconfessed
withafaintsmile.
Amandafeltasifthesunhadjustcomeout.Shesmiledback."Don'tyou,really?"sheaskedsoftly.
"Ithoughtitwasjustthatyoufoundmelacking,orthatIwasn'twomanenoughtointerestyou."
Hecouldhavelaughedoutloudatthatassumption."IsthatwhyyoucalledmeGoodyTwoShoes?"
heaskedpleasantly.
Shelaughedsoftly."Well,thatwassortofsourgrapes."Sheloweredhereyestohischest."Ithurtmy
feelingsthatyouthoughtIdidn'thaveanymorals,whenI'dnevermadeonesinglemovetowardany
othermaninmywholelife."
Hefeltwarmalloverfromthatshyconfession.Ittookdownthefinalbrickinhiswallofreserve.She
wasn'tlikeanywomanhe'deverknown."I'mgladtoknowthat.ButyouandIhavemoreincommon
thanalackoftechnique,"hesaid,hesitating.
"Wedo?!'sheasked.Hersofteyesheldhis."Whatdoyoumean?"
Heturnedanddeliberatelyputouthiscigaretteintheashtrayonthetablebesidethem.He
straightenedandlookeddownatherspeculativelyforafewsecondsbeforehewentforbroke."Well,
whatImean,Amanda,"herepliedfinally,"isthatyouaren'ttheonlyvirginontheplace."
ChapterSix
I
didn'thearthat,"Amandasaid,becausesheknewshehadn't.QuinnSuttoncouldn'thavetoldherthat
hewasavirgin.
"Yes,youdid,"hereplied."Andit'snotallthatfarfetched.OldMcNaberdownthehill'sneverhada
woman,andhe'sinhisseventies.Thereareallsortsofreasonswhymendon'tgetexperience.Morals,
scruples,isolation,orevenplainshyness.Justlikewomen,"headdedwithameaningfullookat
Amanda."Icouldn'tgotobedwithsomebodyjusttosayI'dhadsex.I'dhavetocareabouther,want
her,andI'dwanthertocareaboutme.Thereareidealisticpeopleallovertheworldwhoneverfind
thatparticularcombination,sotheystaycelibate.Andreally,Ithinkthatpeoplewhosleeparound
indiscriminatelyareintheminorityevenintheseliberatedtimes.Onlyafooltakesthatsortofrisk
withthehealthdangerswhattheyare."
"Yes,Iknow."Shewatchedhimwithfascinatedeyes."Haven'tyouever...wantedto?"sheasked.
"Well,that'stheproblem,yousee,"hereplied,hisdarkeyessteadyonherface.
"Whatis?"
"Ihave...wantedto.Withyou."
Sheleanedbackagainstthecounter,justtomakesureshedidn'tfalldown."Withme?"
"Thatfirstnightyoucamehere,whenIwassosick,andyourhairdrifteddownovermynaked
chest.Ishivered,andyouthoughtitwaswithfever,"hemused."Itwasafever,allright,butitdidn't
haveanythingtodowiththevirus."
Herfingersclenchedthecounter.She'dwonderedabouthisviolentreactionatthetime,butitseemed
sounlikelythatacoldmanlikeQuinnSuttonwouldfeelthatwayaboutawoman.Hewashuman,she
thoughtabsently,watchinghim.
"That'swhyI'vegivenyousuchahardtime,"heconfessedwithnarrowed,quieteyes."Idon'tknow
howtohandledesire.Ican'tthrowyouovermyshoulderandcarryyouupstairs,notwithElliotand
Harryaround,evenifyouwerethekindofwomanIthoughtatfirstyouwere.Thefactthatyou'reas
innocentasIamonlymakesitmorecomplicated."
Shelookedathimwithnewunderstanding,asfascinatedbyhimasheseemedtobebyher.He
wasn'tthatbadlooking,shemused.Andhewasterriblystrong,andsexyinanearthykindofway.She
especiallylikedhiseyes.Theyweremuchmoreexpressivethanthatpokerface.
"Fortunatelyforyou,I'mkindofshy,too,"shemurmured.
"Exceptwhenyou'reaskingmentotaketheirclothesoff,"Quinnsaid,nodding.
HarryfrozeinthedoorwaywithonefootliftedwhileAmandagapedathimandturnedred.
"Putyourfootdownandgetbusy,"Quinnmutteredirritably."Whywereyoustandingthere?"
"Iwasgettingeducated."Harrychuckled."Ididn'tknowAmandaaskedpeopletotaketheirclothes
off!"
"Onlyme,"Quinnsaid,defendingher."Andjustmyshirt.She'snotabadgirl."
"Willyoustop!"Amandaburiedherfaceinherhands."Goaway!"
"Ican't.Ilivehere,"Quinnpointedout."DidIsmellbrandyonyourbreath?"heaskedsuddenly.
HarrygrimacedevenasAmanda'seyeswidened."Well,yesyoudo,"heconfessed."Shewasupset
andcryingandall..."
"Howmuchdidyougiveher?"Quinnpersisted.
"Onlyafewdrops,"Harrypromised."Inhercoffee,tocalmher.''
"Harry,howcouldyou!"Amandalaughed.Thecoffeehadtastedfunny,butshe'dbeentooupsetto
wonderwhy.
"Sorry,"Harrymurmureddryly."Butitseemedthethingtodo."
"Itbackfired,"Quinnmurmuredandactuallysmiled.
"Youstopthat!"Amandatoldhim.Shesatdownatthetable."I'mnottipsy.Harry,I'llpeelthose
applesforthepieifIcanhaveaknife."
"Letmegetoutoftheroomfirst,ifyouplease,"Quinnsaid,glancingatherdryly."Isawher
measuringmybackforaplacetoputit."
"Ialmostneverstabmenwithknives,"shepromisedimpishly.
Hechuckled.Hereachedforhishatandslanteditoverhisbrow,buttoninghisoldshepherd'scoat
becauseitwassnowingoutsideagain.
Amandalookedpasthim,thereasonforalltheupsetcomingbacknowasshecalmeddown.Her
expressionbecamesad.
"Ifyoustaybusy,youwon'tthinkaboutitsomuch,"Quinnsaidquietly."It'spartoflife,youknow."
"Iknow."Shemanagedasmile."I'mfine.DespiteHarry,"sheaddedwithachuckle,watchingHarry
squirmbeforehegrinnedback.
Quinn'sdarkeyesmetherswarmlyforlongerthanhemeant,sothatsheblushed.Hetorehiseyes
awayfinally,andwentoutside.
Harrydidn'tsayanything,buthissmilewasspeculative.
ElliotcamehomefromschoolandpersuadedAmandatogetoutthekeyboardandgivehimsome
morepointers.Headmittedthathe'dbeenbraggingabouthertohisclassmatesandthatshewasa
professionalmusician.
"Wheredoyouplay,Amanda?"Elliotaskedcuriously,andhestaredatherwithopenpuzzlement.
"Youlooksofamiliarsomehow."
Shesatverystillonthesofaandtriedtostaycalm.Elliothadalreadytoldherthathelikedrockmusic
andsheknewQuinnhadhiddenhistapes.IftherewasatapeinhiscollectionbyDesperado,itwould
haveherpictureonthecoveralongwiththatofhergroup.
"DoIreallylookfamiliar?"sheaskedwithasmile."MaybeIjusthavethatkindofface."
"Haveyouplayedwithorchestras?"hepersisted.
"No.Justbymyself,sortof.Innightclubs,"sheimprovised.Well,shehadoncesanginanightclub,
tofillinforafriend."MostlyIdobackup.Youknow,Iplaywithgroupsforpeoplewhomaketapes
andrecords."
"Wow!"heexclaimed."Iguessyouknowalotoffamoussingersandmusicians?""Afew,"she
agreed."Wheredoyouwork?"
"InNewYorkCity,inNashville,"shetoldhim."Allover.WhereverIcanfindwork."
Heranhisfingersupanddownthekeyboard."Howdidyoueverwinduphere?"
"Ineededarest,"shesaid."Myauntis...afriendofMr.Durning.SheaskedhimifIcouldborrow
thecabin,andhesaiditwasallright.Ihadtogetawayfromworkforawhile."
"Thisdoesn'tbotheryou,doesit?Teachingmetoplay,Imean?"heaskedandlookedconcerned.
"No,Elliot,itdoesn'tbotherme.I'menjoyingit."Sheranascaleandtaughtittohim,thenshowed
himthecadencesofthechordsthatwentwithit.
"It'ssocomplicated,"hemoaned.
"Ofcourseitis.Musicisanartform,andit'scomplex.Butonceyoulearnthesebasics,youcando
anythingwithachord.Forinstance..."
Sheplayedatonicchord,thenmadeanimpromptusongfromitssubdominantandseventhchords
andthesecondinversionofthem.Elliotwatched,fascinated.
"Iguessyou'vestudiedforyears,"hesaidwithasigh.
"Yes,Ihave,andI'mstilllearning,"shesaid."ButIloveitmorethananything.Musichasbeenmy
wholelife."
"Nowonderyou'resogoodatit."
Shesmiled."Thanks,Elliot."
"Well,I'dbettergetmychoresdonebeforesupper,"hesaid,sighing.HehandedAmandathe
keyboard."Seeyoulater."
Shenodded.Hewentout.Harrywasfeedingthetwocalvesthatwerestillalive,sopresumablyhe'd
tellElliotabouttheonethathaddied.Amandahadn'thadthehearttotalkaboutit.
Herfingersranoverthekeyboardlovinglyandshebegantoplayasongthathergrouphadrecorded
twoyearsback,asad,dreamyballadabouthopelesslovethathadwonthemaGrammy.Shesangit
softly,herpure,sweetvoicehauntinginthesilenceoftheroomasshetriedtosingforthefirsttime
inweeks.
"Elliot,forPete'ssake,turnthatradiodown,I'monthetelephone!"cameapleadingvoicefromthe
backofthehouse.
Shestoppedimmediately,flushing.Shehadn'trealizedthatHarryhadcomebackinside.ThankGod
hehadn'tseenher,orhemighthaveaskedsomepertinentquestions.Sheputthekeyboarddownand
wenttothekitchen,relievedthathersingingvoicewasbacktonormalagain.
Elliotwasmoroseatthesuppertable.He'dheardaboutthecalfandhe'dbeenasdepressedasAmanda
had.Quinndidn'tlookallthathappyhimself.TheyallpickedatthedeliciouschiliHarryhadwhipped
up;nobodyhadmuchofanappetite.
Aftertheyfinished,ElliotdidhishomeworkwhileAmandaputthelaststitchesintoachaircovershe
wasmakingforthelivingroom.QuinnhadgoneofftodohispaperworkandHarrywasmaking
breadforthenextday.
Itwasalong,lazynight.Elliotwenttobedateight-thirtyandnotmuchlaterHarrywenttohisroom.
AmandawantedtowaitforQuinntocomeback,butsomethinginherwasafraidofthenewwayhe
lookedather.Hewasmuchmoreathreatnowthanhehadbeenbefore,becauseshewaslookingat
himwithnewandinterestedeyes.Shewasdrawntohimmorethanever.Buthedidn'tknowwhoshe
reallywas,andshecouldn'ttellhim.Ifshewerepersuadedintoanykindofcloserelationshipwith
him,itcouldleadtodisaster.
SowhenElliotwenttobed,sodidAmanda.Shesatatthedresserandletdownherlonghair,
brushingitwithslow,lazystrokes,whentherewasaknockatthedoor.
ShewasafraidthatitmightbeQuinn,andshehesitated.Butsurelyhewouldn'tmakeanyadvances
towardherunlesssheshowedthatshewantedthem.Ofcoursehewouldn't.
Sheopenedthedoor,butitwasn'tQuinn.ItwasElliot.Andashestaredather,wheelsmovedand
gearsclickedinhisyoungmind.Shewaswearingalonggrannygowninadeepbeige,ashadethat
wastoomuchlikethecoloroftheleatherdresssheworeonstage.Withherhairlooseandthecolor
ofthegown,Elliotmadetheconnectionhehadn'tmadethefirsttimehesawherhairdown.
"Yes?"sheprompted,puzzledbythewayhewaslookingather."Issomethingwrong,Elliot?"
"Uh,no,"hestammered."Uh,Iforgottosaygood-night.Goodnight!"Hegrinned.
Heturned,redfaced,andbeatahastyretreat,butnottohisownroom.Hewenttohisfather'sand
searchedquicklythroughthehiddentapesuntilhefoundtheonehewanted.Hehelditup,staring
blanklyatthecover.Therewerefourmenwholookedlikeviciousbikerssurroundingabeautiful
womaninbuckskinwithlong,elegant,blondhair.Thegroupwasoneofhisfavorites—Desperado.
AndthewomanwasMandy.Amanda.HisAmanda.Hecaughthisbreath.Boy,wouldshebeinforitif
hisdadfoundoutwhoshewas!Heputthetapeintohispocket,feelingguiltyfortakingitwhenQuinn
hadtoldhimnotto.Buttheseweredesperatecircumstances.HehadtoprotectAmandauntilhecould
figureouthowtotellherthatheknewthetruth.Meanwhile,havingherinthesamehousewithhim
wassheerundilutedheaven!Imagine,asingingstarthatfamousinhishouse.Ifonlyhecouldtellthe
guys!Butthatwastoorisky,becauseitmightgetbacktoDad.Hesighed.Justhisluck,tofindarare
jewelandhavetohideittokeepsomeonefromstealingit.HeclosedthedoortoQuinn'sbedroom
andwentquicklybacktohisown.
Amandasleptsoundly,almostmissingbreakfast.Outside,theskylookedblueforthefirsttimein
days,andshenoticedthatthesnowhadstopped.
"Chinook'scoming,"Harrysaidwithagrin."Iknewitwould."
Quinn'sdarkeyesstudiedAmanda'sface."Well,itwillbeafewdaysbeforetheygetthepower
linesbackupagain,"hemuttered."Sodon'tgetinanuproaraboutit."
"I'mnotinanuproar,"Harryreturnedwithafrown."Ijustthoughtitwasnicethatwe'llbeableto
getoffthemountainandlayinsomemoresupplies.I'mgettingtiredofbeef.Iwantachicken."
"SodoI!"Elliotsaidfervently."Orbear,orbeaverormoose,anythingbutbeef!"
Quinnglaredatbothofthem."Beefpaysthebillsaroundhere,"heremindedthem.
TheylookedsoguiltythatAmandaalmostlaughedoutloud.
"I'msorry,Dad,"Elliotsighed."I'lltellmystomachtoshutupaboutit."
Quinn'shardfacerelaxed."It'sallright.Iwouldn'tmindachickenstew,myself."
"That'sthespirit,"Elliotsaid."Whatarewegoingtodotoday?It'sSaturday,"hepointedout."No
school."
"Youcouldgooutwithmeandhelpmefeedcattle,"Quinnsaid.
"I'llstayhereandhelpHarry,"Amandasaid,tooquickly.
Quinn'sdarkeyessearchedhers."Harrycanmanagebyhimself.YoucancomewithmeandElliot."
"You'llenjoyit,"Elliotassuredher."It'salotoffun.Thecattleseeusandcomerunning.Well,aswell
astheycanruninseveralfeetofsnow,"heamended.
Itwasfun,too.AmandasatonthebackofthesledwithElliotandhelpedpushthebalesofhayoff.
Quinncutthestringssothecattlecouldgettothehay.Theydidcomerunning,remindingAmandaso
vividlyofwomenatasalethatshelaughedhelplesslyuntiltheothershadtobetoldwhyshewas
laughing.
Theycamebackfromtheoutinginanewkindofharmony,andforthefirsttime,Amanda
understoodwhatitfeltliketobepartofafamily.ShelookedatQuinnandwonderedhowitwouldbe
ifsheneverhadtoleavehere,ifshecouldstaywithhimandElliotandHarryforever.
Butshecouldn't,shetoldherselffirmly.Shehadtorememberthatthiswasavacation,withthereal
worldjustoutsidethedoor.
ElliotwasallowedtostayuplateronSaturdaynight,sotheywatchedascience-fictionmovie
togetherwhileQuinngrumbledoverpaperwork.Thenextmorningtheywenttochurchonthesled,
Amandaintheoneskirtandblouseshe'dpacked,tryingnottolooktooconspicuousasQuinn'sfew
neighborscarefullyscrutinizedher.
Whentheygotbackhome,shewasallbutshaking.Shefeltuncomfortablelivingwithhim,asifshe
reallywasafallenwomannow.Hecorneredherinthekitchenwhileshewaswashingdishestofind
outwhyshewassoquiet.
"Ididn'tthinkaboutthewaypeoplewouldreactifyouwentwithusthismorning,"hesaidquietly."I
wouldn'thavesubjectedyoutothatifI'djustthought."
"It'sokay,"shesaid,touchedbyhisconcern."Really.Itwasjustalittleuncomfortable."
Hesighed,searchingherfacewithnarrowedeyes."MostpeoplearoundhereknowhowIfeel
aboutwomen,"hesaidbluntly."Thatwaswhyyouattractedsomuchattention.Peoplegetfunnyideas
aboutwomanhaterswhotakeinbeautifulblondes."
"I'mnotbeautiful,"shestammeredshyly.
Hesteppedtowardher,toweringoverherinhisdressslacksandgoodwhiteshirtandsedategray
tie.Helookedhandsomeandstrongandverymasculine.Shelikedthespicycolognehewore."You're
beautiful,allright,"hemurmured.Hisbighandtouchedhercheek,slidingdownitslowly,histhumb
brushingwithsoftabrasionoverherfullmouth.
Herbreathcaughtasshelookedupintohisdark,softeyes."Quinn?"shewhispered.
Hedrewherhandsoutofthewarm,soapywater,stillholdinghergaze,anddriedthemona
dishcloth.Thenheguidedthem,firstone,thentheother,uptohisshoulders.
"Holdme,"hewhisperedashishandssmoothedoverherwaistandbroughthergentlytohim."Iwant
tokissyou."
Sheshiveredfromthesensualityinthatsoftwhisper,liftingherfacewillingly.
Hebent,brushinghismouthlazilyoverhers."Isn'tthishowwediditbefore?"hebreathed,parting
hislipsastheytouchedhers."Ilikethewayitfeelstokissyoulikethis.Myspinetingles."
"So...doesmine."Sheslidherhandshesitantlyintothethick,coolstrandsofhairathisnapeandshe
wentontiptoetogivehimbetteraccesstohermouth.
Heacceptedtheinvitationwithquietsatisfaction,hismouthgrowingslowlyrougherandhungrier
asitfedonhers.Hemadeasoundunderhisbreathandallatoncehebent,liftingherclearoffthe
floorinabearishembrace.Hismouthbithers,partingherlips,andsheclungtohim,moaningasthe
feverburnedinher,too.
HelethergoatoncewhenElliotcalled,"What?"fromthelivingroom."Amanda,didyousay
something?"
"No...No,Elliot,"shemanagedinatonepitchedalittlehigherthannormal.Heranswerappearedto
satisfyhim,becausehedidn'taskagain.Harrywasoutside,butheprobablywouldn'tstaytherelong.
ShelookedupatQuinn,surprisedbytheintentstarehewasgivingher.Helikedthewayshelooked,
herfaceflushed,hermouthswollenfromhiskisses,hereyeswideandsoftandfaintlymistywith
emotion.
"I'dbettergetoutofhere,"hesaidhesitantly.
"Yes."Shetouchedherlipswithherfingersandhewatchedthemovementclosely.
"DidIhurtyourmouth?"heaskedquietly.
Sheshookherhead."No.Oh,no,notatall,"shesaidhuskily.
Quinnnoddedandsighedheavily.Hesmiledfaintlyandthenturnedandwentbackintotheliving
roomwithoutanotherword.
Itwasalongafternoon,madelongerbythestrainAmandafeltbeingclosetohim.Shefoundher
eyesmeetinghisacrosstheroomandeverytimesheflushedfromtheintensityofthelook.Herbody
washungryforhim,andsheimaginedthereversewasequallytrue.Hewatchedheropenlynow,with
smolderinghungerinhiseyes.Theyhadalightsupperandwatchedalittlemoretelevision.Butwhen
HarrywenttohisroomandElliotcalledgood-nightandwentuptobed,Amandaweaklystayed
behind.
Quinnfinishedhiscigarettewiththeairofamanwhohadallnight,andthengotupandreachedfor
Amanda,liftingherintohisarms.
"There'snothingtobeafraidof,"hesaidquietly,searchingherwide,apprehensiveeyesashe
turnedandcarriedherintohisstudyandclosedthedoorbehindthem.
Itwasafiercelymasculineroom.Thefurniturewasdarkwoodwithleatherseats,theremnantsof
moreprosperoustimes.HesatdowninabigleatherarmchairwithAmandainhislap.
"It'sprivatehere,"heexplained.Hishandmovedoneofherstohisshirtandpresseditthere,over
thetie."EvenElliotdoesn'tcomeinwhenthedoor'sshut.Doyoustillwanttotakemyshirtoff?"he
askedwithawarmsmile.
Amandasighed."Well,yes,"shestammered."Ihaven'tdonethissortofthingbefore—"
"NeitherhaveI,honey,"hemurmureddryly."Iguesswe'lllearnittogether,won'twe?"
Shesmiledintohisdarkeyes."Thatsoundsnice."Sheloweredhereyestothetieandfrowned
whenshesawhowitwasknotted.
"Here,I'lldoit."Hewhippeditoffwiththeeaseoflongpracticeandunloopedthecollarbutton.
"Now.Youdotherest,"hesaiddeeply,andlookedlikeamananticipatingheaven.
Herfingers,soadeptonakeyboard,fumbledliketwoleftfeetwhilesheworriedbuttonsoutof
buttonholes.Hewasheavilymuscled,tannedskinunderamassofthick,curlingblackhair.She
rememberedhowithadlookedthatfirstnightshe'dbeenhere,andhowherhandshadlongedtotouch
it.Odd,becauseshe'dnevercaredwhatwasunderaman'sshirtbefore.
Shepressedherhandsflatagainsthim,fascinatedbythequickthunderofhisheartbeatunderthem.
Shelookedupintodark,quieteyes.
"Shy?"hemurmureddryly.
"Alittle.Ialwaysusedtorunamilewhenmengotthisclose."
Thesmilefaded.Hisbighandcoveredhers,pressingthemcloseragainsthim."Wasn'tthereever
anyoneyouwanted?"
Sheshookherhead."ThemenI'musedtoaren'tlikeyou.They'remostlyrounderswithalinea
milelong.Everythingisjustcasualtothem,likeeatingmints."Sheflushedalittle."Intimacyisn'ta
casualthingtome."
"Ortome."Hischestroseandfellheavily.Hetouchedherbrighthead."Nowwillyoutakeyour
hairdown,Amanda?"heaskedgently."I'vedreamedaboutitfordays."
Amandasmiledsoftly."Haveyou,really?It'ssomethingofanuisancetowashanddry,butI've
gottensortofusedtoit."Sheunbraideditandletitdown,enchantedbyQuinn'sraptfascinationwith
it.Hisbighandstangledinit,asifhelovedthefeelofit.Hebroughthisfacedownandkissedher
neckthroughit,drawingheragainsthisbarechest.
"Itsmellslikeflowers,"hewhispered.
"Iwasheditbeforechurchthismorning,"shereplied."Elliotloanedmehisblow-dryerbutitstill
tookallofthirtyminutestogetthedampnessout."Sherelaxedwithasigh,nuzzlingagainsthis
shoulderwhileherfingerstuggedatthethickhaironhischest."Youfeelfurry.Likeabear,"she
murmured.
"Youfeelsilky,"hesaidagainstherhair.Withhishand,Quinntiltedherfaceuptohisandslidhis
mouthontohersinthesilentroom.Hegroanedsoftlyasherlipspartedunderhis.Hisarmsliftedand
turnedher,wrappedherup,sothatherbreastswerelyingonhischestandhercheekwaspressed
againsthisshoulderbytheforceofthekiss.
Hetastedofsmokeandcoffee,andifhismouthwasn'texpert,itwascertainlyardent.Sheloved
kissinghim.Shecurledherarmsaroundhisneckandturnedalittlemore,hesitatingwhenshefeltthe
suddenstarkarousalofhisbody.
Hereyesopened,lookingstraightintohis,andshecolored.
"I'msorry,"hemurmured,startingtoshifther,asifhisphysicalreactiontoherembarrassedhim.
"No,Quinn,"shesaid,resistinggently,holdinghisgazeassherelaxedintohim,shiveringalittle.
"There'snothingtoapologizefor.I...likeknowingyouwantme,"shewhispered,loweringhereyes
tohismouth."Itjusttakesalittlegettingusedto.I'veneverletanyoneholdmelikethis."
Hischestswelledwiththatconfession.Hischeekrestedonherhairashesettledintothechairand
relaxedhimself,takingherweighteasily."I'mgladaboutthat,"hesaid."Butitisn'tjustphysicalwith
me.Iwantedyoutoknow."
Shesmiledagainsthisshoulder."Itisn'tjustphysicalwithme,either."Shetouchedhishardface,
herfingersmovingoverhismouth,lovingthefeelofit,thesmellofhisbody,thewarmthand
strengthofit."Isn'titincredible?"Shelaughedsoftly."Imean,atourages,tobesogreen..."
Helaughed,too.Itwouldhavestungtohaveheardthatfromanyotherwoman,butAmandawas
different."I'venevermindedlessbeinginexperienced,"hemurmured.
"Oh,neitherhaveI."Shesighedcontentedly.Hisbighandsmoothedoverhershoulderanddown
herbacktoherwaistandontoherribcage.Hewantedverymuchtorunitoverhersoftbreast,but
thatmightbetoomuchtoosoon,sohehesitated.
Amandasmiledtoherself.Shecaughthisfingersand,liftingherfacetohiseyes,deliberately
pulledthemontoherbreast,herlipspartingatthesensationthatsteelywarmthimparted.Thenipple
hardenedandshecaughtherbreathasQuinn'sthumbrubbedagainstit.
"Haveyoueverseenawoman...withouthertopon?"shewhispered,herlonghairgloriously
tangledaroundherfaceandshoulders.
"No,"herepliedsoftly."Onlyinpictures."Hisdarkeyeswatchedthesoftnesshisfingerswere
tracing."Iwanttoseeyouthatway.Iwanttotouchyourskin...likethis."
Shedrewhishandtothebuttonsofherblouseandlayquietlyagainsthim,watchinghishardfaceas
heloosenedthebuttonsandpulledthefabricaside.Thebraseemedtofascinatehim.Hefrowned,
tryingtodecidehowitopened.
"It'safrontcatch,"shewhispered.Sheshiftedalittle,andfoundthecatch.Herfingerstrembledas
sheloosenedit.Then,watchinghim,shecarefullypeeleditawayfromthehigh,tautthrobofher
breastsandwatchedhimcatchhisbreath.
"MyGod,"hebreathedreverently.Hetouchedherwithtremblingfingers,hiseyesonthedeep
mauveofhernipplesagainstthesoftpinkthrustofflesh,hisbodytautwithsuddenachinglonging.
"MyGod,I'veneverseenanythingsobeautiful."
Hemadeherfeelincrediblyfeminine.Sheclosedhereyesandarchedbackagainsthisencircling
arm,moaningsoftly.
"Kissme...there,"shewhisperedhuskily,achingforhismouth.
"Amanda..."Hebent,delightinginherfemininity,theobviousraptfascinationofthefirsttimein
heractionssothatevenifhehadn'tsuspectedherinnocencehewouldhavenow.Hislipsbrushedover
thesilkyflesh,andhishandsliftedhertohim,archedherevenmore.Shetastedofflowerpetals,
softlytremblingunderhiswarm,ardentmouth,herbreathjerkingpastherpartedlipsasshelaywith
hereyesclosed,lostinhim.
"It'ssosweet,Quinn,"shewhisperedbrokenly.
Hislipsbrushedupherbodytoherthroat,herchin,andthentheylockedagainsthermouth.He
turnedherslowly,sothathersoftbreastslayagainstthemutedthunderofhishair-roughenedchest.
Hefelthershiverbeforeherarmsslidaroundhisneckandshedeliberatelypressedcloser,drawing
herselfagainsthimandmoaning.
"AmIhurtingyou?"heaskedhuskily,hismouthpoisedjustabovehers,afainttremorinhisarms.
"Amanda,amIhurtingyou?"
"No."Sheopenedhereyesandtheywerelikeblackpools,softanddeepandquiet.Withherblond
hairwavingathertemples,hercheeks,hershoulders,shewassobeautifulthatQuinn'sbreathcaught.
Hesatjustlookingather,indulginghishungerforthesightofhersoftbreasts,herlovelyface.She
layquietlyinhisarmswithoutaprotest,barelybreathingasthespellworkedonthem.
"I'llliveonthistherestofmylife,"hesaidroughly,hisvoicedeepandsoftintheroom,withonly
anoccasionalcracklefromtheburningfireinthepotbelliedstovetobreakthesilence.
"SowillI,"shewhispered.Shereacheduptohisface,touchingitinsilence,adoringitsstrength."We
shouldn'thavedonethis,"shesaidmiserably."Itwillmakeit...somuchmoredifficult,whenIhave
toleave.Thethaw...!"
Hisfingerspressedagainstherlips."Onedayatatime,"hesaid."Evenifyouleave,youaren'tgetting
awayfrommecompletely.Iwon'tletgo.Notever."
Tearsstunghereyes.ThesurplusofemotionsentthemstreamingdownhercheeksandQuinn
caughthisbreath,brushingthemawaywithhislongfingers.
"Why?"hewhispered.
"Nobodyeverwantedtokeepmebefore,"sheexplainedwithawaterysmile."I'vealwaysfeltlike
anextrapersonintheworld."
Hefoundthathardtoimagine,asbeautifulasshewas.Perhapsherreticencemadeheroflessvalueto
sophisticatedmen,butnottohim.Hefoundherapearlbeyondprice.
"You'renotanextrapersoninmyworld,"hereplied."Youfit."
Shesighedandnuzzledagainsthim,closinghereyesasshedrankintheexquisitepleasureofskin
againstskin,feelinghisheartbeatagainstherbreasts.Sheshivered.
"Areyoucold?"heasked.
"No.It's...sowonderful,feelingyoulikethis,"shewhispered."Quinn?"
Heeasedherbackinhisarmandwatchedher,understandingasshedidn'tseemtounderstandwhat
waswrong.
Hisbig,warmhandcoveredherbreast,gentlycaressingit."It'sdesire,"hewhisperedsoftly."You
wantme."
"Yes,"shewhispered.
"Youcan'thaveme.Notlikethis.Notinanyhonorableway."Hesighedheavilyandliftedher
againsthimtoholdher,veryhard."Nowholdon,realtight.Itwillpass."
Sheshiveredhelplessly,drowninginthewarmthofhisbody,initsheatagainstherbreasts.Buthe
wasright.Slowlytheachebegantoeaseawayandherbodystilledwithahugesigh.
"Howdoyouknowsomuchwhenyou've...whenyou'venever...?"
"Itoldyou,Ireadabook.Severalbooks."Hechuckled,thelaughterripplingoverhersensitive
breasts."But,myGod,readingwasneverlikethis!"
Shelaughed,too,andimpishlybithisshoulderrightthroughthecloth.
Thenheshivered."Don't,"hesaidhuskily.
Sheliftedherhead,fascinatedbytheexpressiononhisface."Doyoulikeit?"sheaskedhesitantly.
"Yes,Ilikeit,"hesaidwitharuefulsmile."Alltoomuch."Hegazeddownatherbarenessandhis
eyesdarkened."Ilikelookingatyourbreasts,too,butIthinkwe'dbetterstopthiswhilewecan."
Hetuggedthebrabackaroundherwithagrimaceandhookedthecomplicatedcatch.Hedeftly
buttonedherblouseuptoherthroat,hiseyestwinklingastheymethers.
"Disappointed?"hemurmured."SoamI.Ihavethesedreamseverynightofpillowingyouonyour
delicioushairwhilewemakeloveuntilyoucryout."
Shecouldpicturethat,too,andherbreathlodgedinherthroatasshesearchedhisdarkeyes.His
body,bareandmovingsoftlyoverhersonwhitesheets,hisfaceaboveher...
Shemoaned.
"Oh,Iwantit,too,"hewhispered,touchinghismouthwithexquisitetendernesstohers."Youinmy
bed,yourarmsaroundme,themattressmovingunderus."Heliftedhishead,breathingunsteadily."I
mighthavetohurtyoualittleatfirst,"hesaidgruffly."Youunderstand?"
"Yes."Shesmoothedhisshirt,absentlydrawingitbacktogetherandfasteningthebuttonswitha
senseofpossession."Butonlyalittle,andIcouldbearitforwhatwouldcomeafterward,"shesaid,
lookingup."Becauseyou'dpleasuremethen."
"MyGod,wouldI,"hewhispered."Pleasureyouuntilyouwereexhausted."Heframedherfacein
hishandsandkissedhergently."Pleasegotobed,Amanda,beforeIdoubleoverandstart
screaming."
Shesmiledagainsthismouthandlethimputheronherfeet.Shelaughedwhensheswayedandhe
hadtocatchher.
"Seewhatyoudotome?"shemused."Makemedizzy."
"Nothalfasdizzyasyoumakeme."Hesmootheddownherlonghair,hiseyesadoringit."Pretty
littlething,"hemurmured.
"I'mgladyoulikeme,"shereplied."I'lldomybesttostaythiswayforthenextfiftyyearsorso,
withafewminorwrinkles."
"You'llbebeautifultomewhenyou'reanoldlady.Goodnight."
Shemovedawayfromhimwithflatteringreluctance,herdarkeyesteasinghis."Areyousureyou
haven'tdonethisbefore?"sheaskedwithanarrowgaze."You'reawfullygoodatitforabeginner."
"Thatmakestwoofus,"hereturneddryly.
Shelikedthewayhelooked,withhishairmussedandhisthinmouthswollenfromherkisses,and
hisshirtdisheveled.Itmadeherfeelanewkindofpridethatshecoulddisarrangehimsonicely.After
onelongglance,sheopenedthedoorandwentout.
"Lockyourdoor,"hewhispered.
Shelaugheddelightedly."No,youlockyoursthewayyoudidtheothernight."
Heshifteduncomfortably."Thatwasalowblow.I'msorry."
"Oh,Iwasflattered,"shecorrected."I'veneverfeltsodangerousinallmylife.IwishIhadoneof
thoselong,blacksilknegligees..."
"Willyougetoutofhere?"heaskedpleasantly."IthinkIdidmentiontheurgetothrowyouonthe
floorandravishyou?"
"WithElliotrightupstairs?Fie,sir,thinkofmyreputation."
"I'mtryingto,ifyou'lljustgotobed!"
"Verywell,ifImust."Shestartedupthestaircase,herblackeyesdancingastheymethis.She
tossedherhairbackandsmiledathim."Goodnight,Quinn."
"Goodnight,Amanda.Sweetdreams."
"They'llbesweetfromnowon,"sheagreed.Sheturnedreluctantlyandwentupthestaircase.He
watchedheruntilshewentintoherroomandclosedthedoor.
Itwasn'tuntilshewasinherownroomthatsherealizedjustwhatshe'ddone.
Shewasn'tsomenicedomesticlittlethingwhocouldfitintoQuinn'sworldwithoutanyeffort.She
wasAmandaCorrieCallaway,whobelongedtoarockgroupwithaworldwidereputation.Onmost
streetsinmostcities,herfacewasinstantlyrecognizable.HowwasQuinngoingtotakethe
knowledgeofwhoshereallywas—andthefactthatshe'ddeceivedhimbyleadinghimtothinkshe
wasjustavacationingkeyboardplayer?Shegroanedassheputonhergown.Itdidn'tbearthinking
about.Fromsweetheaventonightmareinonehourwastoomuch.
ChapterSeven
AmandahardlysleptfromthecombinedshockofQuinn'sardorandherownguilt.Howcouldshe
tellhimthetruthnow?Whatcouldshesaythatwouldtakeawaythestingofherdeceit?
Shedressedinjeansandthesamebutton-uppinkblouseshe'dwornthenightbeforeandwentdownto
breakfast.
Quinnlookedupassheenteredtheroom,hiseyeswarmandquiet.
"Goodmorning,"shesaidbrightly.
"Goodmorningyourself,"Quinnmurmuredwithasmile."Sleepwell?"
"Barelyawink,"shesaid,sighing,herowneyesholdinghis.
Hechuckled,avertinghisgazebeforeElliotbecamesuspicious."Harry'soutfeedingyourcalves,"
hesaid,"andI'monmywayovertoEaglePasstohelponeofmyneighborsfeedsomestranded
cattle.You'llhavetostaywithElliot—it'steacherworkday."
"Iforgot,"Elliotwailed,headinhands."CanyouimaginethatIactuallyforgot?Icouldhaveslept
untilnoon!"
"There,there,"Amandasaid,pattinghisshoulder."Don'tyouwanttolearnsomemorechords?"
"Isthatwhatyoudo?"Quinnaskedcuriously,becausenoweveryscrapofinformationhelearned
aboutherwasprecious."Yousaidyouplayedakeyboardforaliving.Doyouteachmusic?"
"Notreally,"shesaidgently."Iplaybackupforvariousgroups,"sheexplained."Thatrockmusic
youhate..."shebeganuneasily.
"That'sallright,"Quinnreplied,hisfaceopenandkind."Iwasjusttryingtogetariseoutofyou.I
don'tminditallthatmuch,Iguess.Andplayingbackupisn'tthesamethingasputtingonthosegod-
awfulcostumesandsingingsuggestivelyrics.Well,I'mgone.Stayoutoftrouble,youtwo,"hesaidas
hegottohisfeetinthemiddleofAmanda'sinstinctivemovetospeak,tocorrecthisassumptionthat
allshedidwasplaybackup.Shewantedtotellhimthetruth,buthewinkedatherandElliotandgot
intohisoutdoorclothesbeforeshecouldfindawaytobreakthenews.Bythetimehermindwas
workingagain,hewasgone.
Shesatbackdown,sighing."Oh,Elliot,whatamess,"shemurmured,herchininherhands.
"Isthatwhatyoucallit?"heaskedwithawickedsmile."Dad'sactuallygrinning,andwhenhe
lookedatyou,youblushed.I'mnotblind,youknow.Doyoulikehim,evenifheisn'tMr.America?"
"Yes,Ilikehim,"shesaidwithashysmile,loweringhereyes."He'saprettyspecialguy."
"Ithinkso,myself.Eatyourbreakfast.Iwanttoaskyouaboutsomenewchords."
"Okay."
TheywereworkingonthekeyboardwhenthesoundofanapproachingvehiclecaughtAmanda's
attention.Quinnhadn'tdrivenanythingmotorizedsincethesnowhadgottensohigh.
"That'sodd,"Elliotsaid,peeringoutthewindowcurtain."It'safour-wheeldrive...Oh,boy."He
glancedatAmanda."Youaren'tgonnalikethis."
Sheliftedhereyebrows."I'mnot?"sheasked,puzzled.
TheknockatthebackdoorhadHarrymovingtowarditbeforeAmandaandElliotcould.Harry
openeditandlookedupandupandup.HestoodtherestaringwhileElliotgapedatthegrizzly-
lookingmanwholoomedoverhiminablackWesterncostume,completewithhat.
"I'mlookingforMandyCallaway,"heboomed.
"Hank!"
Amandarantothebigmanwithoutthinking,tobeliftedhighintheairwhilehechuckledand
kissedherwarmlyononecheek,hiswhiskersscratching.
"Hello,peanut!"hegrinned."Whatareyoudoinguphere?Theoldtrapperdownthehillsaidyou
hadn'tbeeninDurning'scabinsincetheheavysnowcame."
"Mr.Suttontookmeinandgavemearoofovermyhead.Putmedown,"shefussed,wiggling.
HeputherbackonherfeetwhileHarryandElliotstillgaped.
"ThisisHank,"shesaid,holdinghisenormoushandassheturnedtofacetheothers."He'sagood
friend,andaterrificmusician,andI'dreallyappreciateitifyouwouldn'ttellQuinnhewasherejust
yet.I'lltellhimmyself.Okay?"
"Sure,"Harrymurmured.Heshookhishead."Youforreal,ordoyouhavestiltsinthemboots?"
"IusedtobealinebackerfortheDallasCowboys."Hankgrinned.
"Thatwouldexplainit,"Harrychuckled."Yoursecret'ssafewithme,Amanda."Heexcusedhimself
andwenttodothewashing.
"Me,too,"Elliotsaid,grinning,"aslongasIgetMr.Shoeman'sautographbeforeheleaves."
Amandaletoutalongbreath,hereyesfrightenedastheymetElliot's.
"That'sright,"Elliotsaid."IalreadyknewyouwereMandyCallaway.I'vegotaDesperadotape.I
tookitoutofDad'sdrawerandhiditassoonasIrecognizedyou.You'lltellhimwhenthetime's
right.Won'tyou?"
"Yes,Iwill,Elliot,"sheagreed."I'dhavedoneitalreadyexceptthat...well,thingshavegottena
littlecomplicated."
"Youcansaythatagain."Elliotledthewayintothelivingroom,watchingHanksitgingerlyona
sofathathedwarfed."I'lljustgomakesurethattape'shidden,"hesaid,leavingthemalone.
"Complicated,huh?"Hanksaid."IhearthisSuttonman'sarealwomanhater."
"Hewasuntiljustrecently."Shefoldedherhandsinherlap."Andhedoesn'tapproveofrock
music."Shesighedandchangedthesubject."What'sup,Hank?"
"We'vegotagigatLarry'sLodge,"hesaid."Iknow,youdon'twantto.Listenforaminute.It'sto
benefitcysticfibrosis,andalotofotherstarsaregoingtobeintownforit,includingafewpretty
well-knownsingers."HenamedsomeofthemandAmandawhistled."SeewhatImean?It'sstrictly
charity,orIwouldn'thavecomeupherebotheringyou.TheboysandIwanttodoit."Hisdarkeyes
narrowed."Areyouuptoit?"
"Idon'tknow.Itriedtosinghereacoupleoftimes,andmyvoiceseemstobegoodenough.No
morelapses.Butinfrontofacrowd..."Shespreadherhands."Idon'tknow,Hank."
"Here."Hehandedherthreeticketstothebenefit."Youthinkaboutit.Ifyoucan,comeonup.
Suttonmightlikethesingersevenifhedoesn'tcareforourkindofmusic."Hestudiedher."You
haven'ttoldhim,haveyou?"
Sheshookherhead,smilingwistfully."Haven'tfoundtherightwayyet.IfIleaveitmuchlonger,it
maybetoolate."
"Thegirl'sfamilysentyoualetter,"hesaid."Thankingyouforwhatyoutriedtodo.Theysaidyou
wereherheroine...aw,now,Mandy,stopit!"
Shecollapsedintears.Heheldher,rockingher,hisfaceredwithmingledembarrassmentandguilt.
"Mandy,comeon,stopthat,"hemuttered."It'salloveranddonewith.You'vegottogetyourself
together.Youcan'thideouthereintheTetonsfortherestofyourlife."
"Can'tI?"shewailed.
"No,youcan't.Hidingisn'tyourstyle.Youhavetofacethestageagain,oryou'llnevergetoverit."
Hetiltedherwetface."Look,wouldyouwantsomebodyeatinghergutsoutoveryouifyou'dbeen
Wendythatnight?Itwasn'tyourfault,damnit!Itwasn'tanybody'sfault;itwasanaccident,pureand
simple."
"Ifshehadn'tbeenattheconcert..."
"If,if,if,"hesaidcurtly."Youcan'tgobackandchangethingstosuityou.Itwashertime.Atthe
concert,onaplane,inacar,however,itwouldstillhavebeenhertime.Areyoulisteningtome,
Mandy?"
Shedabbedhereyeswiththehemofherblouse."Yes,I'mlistening."
"Comeon,girl.Buckup.Youcangetoverthisifyousetyourmindtoit.Meandtheguysmiss
you,Mandy.It'snotthesamewithjustthefourofus.Peoplearescaredofuswhenyouaren'taround."
Thatmadehersmile."Iguesstheyare.Youdolookscruffy,Hank,"shemurmured.
"YououghttoseeJohnson."Hesighed."He'slethisbeardgoandhelookslikeascrubbrush.And
Dekesayshewon'tchangeclothesuntilyoucomeback."
"Oh,myGod,"Amandasaid,shuddering,"tellhimI'llthinkhardaboutthisconcert,okay?You
poorguys.Stayupwindofhim."
"We'retrying."Hegotup,smilingdownather."Everything'sokay.Youcanseetheletterwhenyou
cometothelodge.It'srealnice.Nowstopbeatingyourself.Nobodyelseblamesyou.Afterall,babe,
youriskedyourlifetryingtosaveher.Nobody'sforgottenthat,either."
Sheleanedagainsthimforaminute,drawingonhisstrength."Thanks,Hank."
"Anytime.Hey,kid,youstillwantthatautograph?"heasked.
Elliotcamebackintotheroomwithapadandpen."DoI!"hesaid,chuckling.
HankscribbledhisnameandDesperado'scurly-Qlogounderneath."Thereyougo."
"He'sabuddingmusician,"Amandasaid,puttinganarmaroundElliot."I'mteachinghimthe
keyboard.Oneofthesedays,ifwecangetaroundQuinn,we'llhavehimplayingbackupforme."
"Youbet."Hankchuckled,andruffledElliot'sredhair."Keepatit.Mandy'stheverybest.Ifshe
teachesyou,you'retaught."
"Thanks,Mr.Shoeman."
"JustHank.Seeyouattheconcert.Solong,Mandy.""Solong,pal."
"Whatconcert?"ElliotaskedexcitedlywhenHankhaddrivenaway.
Amandahandedhimthethreetickets."ToabenefitinJacksonHole.Thegroup'sgoingtoplay
there.Maybe.IfIcangetupenoughnervetogetbackonstageagain."
"Whathappened,Amanda?"heaskedgently.
Shesearchedhisface,seeingcompassionalongwiththecuriosity,soshetoldhim,fightingtearsall
theway.
"Gosh,nowonderyoucameupheretogetaway,"Elliotsaidwithmorethanhistwelveyearsworth
ofwisdom.Heshrugged."Butlikehesaid,youhavetogobacksomeday.Thelongeryouwait,the
harderit'sgoingtobe."
"Iknowthat,"shegroaned."ButElliot,I..."Shetookadeepbreathandlookeddownatthefloor."I
loveyourfather,"shesaid,admittingitatlast."Ilovehimverymuch,andtheminutehefindsoutwho
Iam,mylifeisover."
"Maybenot,"hesaid."You'vegotanotherweekuntiltheconcert.Surelyinallthattimeyoucan
managetotellhimthetruth.Can'tyou?"
"Ihopeso,"shesaidwithasadsmile."Youdon'tmindwhoIam,doyou?"sheaskedworriedly.
"Don'tbesilly."Hehuggedherwarmly."Ithinkyou'resuper,keyboardornot."
Shelaughedandhuggedhimback."Well,that'shalfthebattle."
"Justoutofcuriosity,"Harryaskedfromthedoor-way,"whowasthebeardedgiant?"
"ThatwasHankShoeman,"Elliottoldhim."He'sthedrummerforDesperado.It'sarockgroup.
AndAmanda—"
"—playsbackupforhim,"shevolunteered,afraidtogivetoomuchawaytoHarry.
"Well,I'llbe.He'samusician?"Harryshookhishead."Wouldhavetookhimforabankrobber,"he
mumbled.
"Mostpeopledo,andyoushouldseetherestofthegroup."Shegrinned."Don'tgivemeaway,
Harry,okay?IpromiseI'lltellQuinn,butI'vegottodoittherightway."
"Icanseethat,"heagreedeasily."Besomethingofashocktohimtomeetyourfriendafterdark,I
imagine."
"Iimagineso,"shesaid,chuckling."Thanks,Harry."
"Mypleasure.Desperado,huh?Suitsit,iftherestofthegrouplookslikehedoes."
"Worse,"shesaid,andshuddered.
"Strainsthemind,don'tit?"HarrywentoffintothekitchenandAmandagotupafteraminuteto
helphimgetlunch.
Quinnwasn'tbackuntillatethatafternoon.NobodymentionedHank'svisit,butAmandawasnervous
andhermannerwasstrainedasshetriednottoshowherfears.
"What'swrongwithyou?"heaskedgentlyduringalullintheeveningwhileElliotdidhomework
andHarrywashedup."Youdon'tseemlikeyourselftonight."
Shemovedclosetohim,herfingersidlytouchingthesleeveofhisredflannelshirt."It'sthawing
outside,"shesaid,watchingherfingersmoveonthefabric."Itwon'tbelongbeforeI'llbegone."
Hesighedheavily.Hisfingerscapturedhersandheldthem."I'vebeenthinkingaboutthat.Doyou
reallyhavetogetback?"
Shefeltherheartjump.Whateverhewasoffering,shewantedtosayyesandletthefuturetakecareof
itself.Butshecouldn't.Shegrimaced."Yes,Ihavetogetback,"shesaidmiserably."Ihave
commitmentstopeople.ThingsIpromisedtodo."Herfingersclenchedhis."Quinn,Ihavetomeet
somepeopleatLarry'sLodgeinJacksonHolenextFridaynight."Shelookedup."It'sataconcertand
Ihavetickets.Iknowyoudon'tlikerock,butthere'sgoingtobeallkindsofmusic."Hereyes
searchedhis."Wouldyougowithme?Elliotcancome,too.I...wantyoutoseewhatIdofora
living."
"Youandyourkeyboard?"hemusedgently.
"Sortof,"sheagreed,hopingshecouldfindthenervetotellhimeverythingbeforenextFriday
night.
"Okay,"hereplied."Afriendofmineworksthere—IusedtobewiththeSkiPatrolthere,too.Sure,
I'llgowithyou."Thesmilevanished,andhiseyesglittereddownather."I'llgodamnednear
anywherewithyou."
Amandaslidherarmsaroundhimandpressedclose,shuttinghereyesassheheldonfordearlife.
"Thatgoesdoubleforme,mountainman,"shesaidhalfunderherbreath.
Hebenthishead,searchingforhersoftmouth.Shegaveittohimwithoutaprotest,withoutathought
forthefuture,gaveittohimwithinterest,withdevotion,withardor.Herlipsopenedinvitingly,and
shefelthishandsonherhipswithasenseofsweetinevitability,liftingherintointimatecontactwith
thearousedcontoursofhisbody.
"Frightened?"hewhisperedunsteadilyjustoverhermouthwhenhefeltherstiffeninvoluntarily.
"Ofyou?"shewhisperedback."Don'tbeabsurd.Holdmeanywayyouwant.Iadoreyou...!"
Heactuallygroanedashismouthpresseddownhardonhers.Hisarmscontractedhungrilyandhe
gaveintothepleasureofpossessionforonelongmoment.
Hereyesopenedandshewatchedhim,feedingontheslightcontortionofhisfeatures,hisheavy
browsdrawnoverhiscrookednose,hislong,thicklashesonhischeekashekissedher.Shedid
adorehim,shethoughtdizzily.Adoredhim,lovedhim,worshipedhim.Ifonlyshecouldstaywith
himforeverlikethis.
Quinnliftedhisheadandpausedashesawherwatchinghim.Hefrownedslightly,thenbentagain.
Thistimehiseyesstayedopen,too,andshewentunderashedeepenedthekiss.Hereyesclosedin
self-defenseandshemoaned,lettinghimseethesamevulnerabilityshe'dseeninhim.Itwas
breathlesslysweet.
"Thisisaneducation,"hesaid,laughinghuskily,whenhedrewslightlyawayfromher.
"Isn'tit,though?"shemurmured,movinghishandsfromherhipsuptoherwaistandmovingback
astepfromtheblatanturgencyofhisbody."ElliotandHarrymightcomein,"shewhispered.
"Iwouldn'tmind,"hesaidunexpectedly,searchingherflushedface."I'mnotashamedofwhatIfeel
foryou,orembarrassedbyit."
"Thisfromaconfirmedwomanhater?"sheaskedwithtwinklingeyes.
"Well,notexactlyconfirmedanymore,"heconfessed.Heliftedherbythewaistandsearchedher
eyesatpoint-blankrangeuntilshetrembledfromtheintensityofthelook."Icouldn'thateyouifI
tried,Amanda,"hesaidquietly.
"Oh,Ihopenot,"shesaidfervently,thinkingaheadtowhenshewouldhavetotellhimthetruth
aboutherself.
Hebrushedalazykissacrossherlips."IthinkI'mgettingthehangofthis,"hemurmured.
"Ithinkyouare,too,"shewhispered.Sheslidherarmsaroundhisneckandputherwarmmouth
hungrilyagainsthis,sighingwhenhecaughtfireandansweredthekisswithfeverishabandon.
Aslight,deliberatecoughbroughtthemapart,bothstaringblanklyatthesmallredheadedintruder.
"NotthatImind,"Elliotsaid,grinning,"butyou'reblockingthepanofbrowniesHarrymade."
"Youcanthinkofbrowniesatatimelikethis?"Amandagroaned.''Elliot!''
"Listen,hecanthinkofbrownieswithafeverofahundredandtwo,"Quinntoldher,stillholding
heronalevelwithhiseyes."I'veseenhimgetoutofasickbedtopinchabrowniefromthekitchen."
"Ilikebrownies,too,"Amandaconfessedwithawarmsmile,delightedthatQuinndidn'tseemto
mindatallthatElliothadseentheminacompromisingposition.Thatmadeherfeellighterthanair.
"Doyou?"Quinnsmiledandbrushedhismouthgentlyagainsthers,mindlessofElliot'sblatant
interest,beforeheputherbackonherfeet."Harrymakeshisfromscratch,withrealbaker's
chocolate.They'resomethingspecial."
"I'llbettheyare.Here.I'llgetthesaucers,"shevolunteered,stillcatchingherbreath.
Elliotlookedlikethecatwiththecanaryasshedishedupbrownies.Itveryobviouslydidn'tbother
himthatAmandaandhisdadwerebeginningtonoticeeachother.
"Isn'tthiscozy?"heremarkedastheywentbackintothelivingroomandAmandacurleduponthe
sofabesidehisdad,whoneversatthere.
"Cozy,indeed,"QuinnmurmuredwithawarmsmileforAmanda.
ShesmiledbackandlaidhercheekagainstQuinn'sbroadchestwhiletheywatchedtelevisionand
atebrownies.Shedidn'tmoveevenwhenHarryjoinedthem.Andsheknewshe'dneverbeencloserto
heaven.
Thatnighttheywereleftdiscreetlyalone,andshelayinQuinn'sstrongarmsonthelongleather
couchinhisofficewhilewoodburnedwithoccasionalhissesandsparksinthepotbelliedstove.
"I'vehadarawdealwiththisplace,"hesaideventuallybetweenkisses."Butit'sgoodland,andI'm
buildingarespectableherdofcattle.Ican'tofferyouwealthorposition,andwe'vegotaready-made
family.ButIcantakecareofyou,"hesaidsolemnly,lookingdownintohersofteyes."Andyouwon't
wantforanyoftheessentials."
Herfingerstouchedhisleancheekhesitantly."Youdon'tknowanythingaboutme,"shesaid."When
youknowmybackground,youmaynotwantmeasmuchasyouthinkyoudo."Sheputherfingers
againsthismouth."Youhavetobesure."
"Damnit,I'malreadysure,"hemuttered.
Butwashe?Shewasthefirstwomanhe'deverbeenintimatewith.Couldn'tthatblindhimtoher
realsuitability?Whatifitwasjustinfatuationordesire?Shewasafraidtotakeachanceonhis
feelings,whenshedidn'treallyknowwhattheywere.
"Let'swaitjustalittlewhilelongerbeforewemakeanyplans,Quinn.Okay?"sheaskedsoftly,
turninginhishardarmssothatherbodywaslyingagainsthis."Makelovetome,"shewhispered,
movinghermouthuptohis."Please..."
Hegaveinwitharoughgroan,gatheringhertohim,crushingheragainsthisarousedbody.He
wantedherbeyondrationalthought.Maybeshehadcoldfeet,buthedidn't.Heknewwhathewanted,
andAmandawasit.
Hishandssmoothedtheblouseandbraawaywithgrowingexpertiseandhefoughtoutofhisshirtso
thathecouldfeelhersoftskinagainsthis.Butitwasn'tenough.Hefelthertrembleandknewthatit
wasreflectedinhisownarmsandlegs.Hemovedagainstherwithanewkindofsensuousness,lifting
hisheadtoholdhereyeswhileheleveredherontoherbackandeasedoverher,hislegsbetweenboth
ofhersintheirfirstrealintimacy.
Shecaughtherbreath,butshedidn'tpushhimtotrytogetaway.
"It'sjustthatnewforyou,isn'tit?"hewhisperedhuskilyashishipsmovedlazilyoverhersandhe
groaned."God,itburnsmeto...feelyoulikethis."
"Iknow."Shearchedherback,lovinghisweight,lovingthefiercemalenessofhisbody.Herarms
slidcloseraroundhimandshefelthismouthopenonhers,histonguesoftlysearchingasitslid
inside,intoanintimacythatmadehermoan.Shebegantotremble.
Hisleanhandslidunderher,gettingafirmgrip,andhebroughthersuddenlyintoashocking,
shatteringpositionthatmadehermindlesswithsuddenneed.Sheclutchedhimdesperately,
shuddering,hernailsdiggingintohimasthecontactrackedherlikeajoltofrawelectricity.
Hepulledawayfromherwithoutaword,shudderingashelayonhisback,tryingtogetholdof
himself.
"I'msorry,"hewhispered."Ididn'tmeantoletitgosofarwithus."
Shewastrembling,too,tryingtobreathewhilegreathottearsrolleddownhercheeks."Gosh,I
wantedyou,"shewhisperedtearfully."Wantedyousobadly,Quinn!"
"AsbadlyasIwantedyou,honey,"hesaidheavily."Wecan'tletthingsgetthathotagain.Itwasa
closecall.Closerthanyourealize."
"Oh,Quinn,couldn'twemakelove?"sheaskedsoftly,rollingovertolookdownintohis
tormentedface."Justonce...?"
Heframedhisfaceinhishandsandbroughtherclosedeyestohislips."No.Iwon'tcompromise
you."
Shehithisbig,hair-roughenedchest."GoodyTwoShoes...!"
"ThankyourluckystarsthatIam,"hechuckled.Hiseyesdroppedtoherbarebreastsandlingered
therebeforehecaughttheedgesofherblouseandtuggedthemtogether."Yousex-crazedfemale,
haven'tyoueverheardaboutpregnancy?"
"ThatconditionwhereIgettohavelittleQuinns?"
"Stopit,you'remakingitimpossibleforme,"hesaidhuskily."Here,getupbeforeIlosemy
mind."
Shesatupwithagrimace."Spoilsport."
"Listentoyou,"hemuttered,puttingherbackintoherclotheswithawrygrin."I'llgiveyoutento
onethatyou'dbeyellingyourheadoffifIstartedtakingoffyourjeans."
Shewentred."Myjeans...!"
Hiseyebrowsarched."Amanda,wouldyoulikemetoexplainthatbookIreadtoyou?Thepart
abouthowmenandwomen..."
Sheclearedherthroat."No,thanks,IthinkI'vegotthehangofitnow,"shemurmuredevasively.
"Wemightaswelladdawordaboutbirthcontrol,"headdedwithachucklewhenhewasbuttoning
uphisownshirt."Youdon'ttakethepill,Iassume?"
Sheshookherhead.Thewholethingwasgettingtobereallyembarrassing!
"Well,thatleavespreventionuptome,"heexplained."Andthatwouldmeanatripintotowntothe
drug-store,sinceIneverindulged,Ineverneededtoworryaboutprevention.Nowdoyougetthe
picture?"
"Boy,doIgetthepicture."Shegrimaced,avoidinghisknowinggaze.
"Goodgirl.That'swhywearen'tlyingdownanymore."
Shesighedloudly."Iguessyoudon'twantchildren."
"SureIdo.Elliotwouldlovebrothersandsisters,andI'mcrazyaboutkids."Hetookherslender
handsinhisandsmoothedthemoverwithhisthumbs."Butkidsshouldbeborninsidemarriage,not
outsideit.Don'tyouthinkso?"
Shetookadeepbreath,andherdarkeyesmethis."Yes."
"Thenwe'llspendalotoftimetogetheruntilyouhavetomeetyourfriendsatthisconcert,"hesaid
softly,"Andafterward,youandIwillcomeinhereagainandI'llaskyouaquestion."
"Oh,Quinn,"shewhisperedwithachingsoftness.
"Oh,Amanda,"hemurmured,smilingashislipssoftlytouchedhers."Butrightnow,wegotobed.
Separately.Quick!"
"Yes,sir,Mr.Sutton."Shegotupandlethimleadhertothestaircase.
"I'llgetthelights,"hesaid."Yougoonup.InthemorningafterwegetElliotofftoschoolyoucan
comeoutwithme,ifyouwantto."
"Iwantto,"shesaidsimply.Shecouldhardlybear
tobepartedfromhimevenovernight.Itwaslikean
addiction,shethoughtasshewentupthestaircase.
Nowifonlyshecouldmakeitlastuntilshehadthe
nervetotellQuinnthetruth__
Thenextfewdayswentbyinahaze.Thesnowbegantomeltandtheskiesclearedasthelong-
awaitedchinookblewin.InnotimeatallitwasFridaynightandAmandawasgettingintowhatElliot
wouldrecognizeasherstagecostume.She'dbroughtit,withherotherthings,fromtheDurning
cabin.Sheputiton,staringatherselfinthemirror.Herhairhunglongandloose,insoftwaves
belowherwaist,inthebeigeleatherdresswiththebuckskinbootsthatmatched,shewasthevery
pictureofasensuouswoman.Sheleftofftheheadband.Therewouldbetimeforthatifshecould
summonenoughcouragetogetonstage.Shestillhadn'ttoldQuinn.Shehadn'thadtheheartto
destroythedreamshe'dbeenliving.Buttonighthe'dknow.Andshe'dknowiftheyhadafuture.She
tookadeepbreathandwentdownstairs.
ChapterEight
Amanda
satintheaudiencewithQuinnandElliotatafartablewhilethecrowdedhallrangwith
excitedwhispers.Elliotwastense,likeAmanda,hiseyesdartingaroundnervously.Quinnwas
frowning.Hehadn'tbeenquitehimselfsinceAmandacamedownthestaircaseinherleatherdressand
boots,lookingexpensiveandfaintlyalien.Hehadn'taskedanyquestions,butheseemedasuptightas
shefelt.
Hereyesslidoverhimlovingly,takinginhisdarksuit.Helookedoutofplaceinfancyclothes.She
missedthesightofhimindenimandhisoldshepherd'scoat,andwonderedfleetinglyifshe'dever
gettoseehimthatwayagainaftertonight—ifshe'deverlieinhisarmsonthebigsofaandwarmto
hiskisseswhilethefireburnedinthestove.Shealmostgroaned.Oh,Quinn,shethought,Iloveyou.
Elliotlookeduncomfortableinhisbluesuit.HewaswatchingfortherestofDesperadowhilea
well-known
LasVegasentertainerwarmedupthecrowdandsanghisownfamousthemesong.
"Whatareyoulookingfor,son?"Quinnasked.
Elliotshifted."Nothing.I'mjustseeingwhoIknow."
Quinn'seyebrowsarched."Howwouldyouknowanybodyinthiscrowd?"hemuttered,glancing
around."MyGod,theseareshowpeople.Entertainers.Notpeoplefromourworld."
Thatwasafact.ButhearingitmadeAmandaheartsick.Shereachedoutandputherhandover
Quinn's.
"Yourfingersarelikeice,"hesaidsoftly.Hesearchedherworriedeyes."Areyouokay,honey?"
Theendearmentmadeherwarmallover.Shesmiledsadlyandslidherfingersintohis,looking
downatthecontrastbetweenhiscallused,work-hardenedhandandhersoft,paleone.Hiswasa
stronghand,herswasartistic.Butdespitethedifferences,theyfittogetherperfectly.Shesqueezedher
fingers."I'mfine,"shesaid."Quinn..."
"AndnowIwanttointroduceafamiliarface,"theLasVegasperformer'svoiceboomed."Mostof
youknowthegeniusofDesperado.Thegrouphaswoncountlessawardsforitstopical,hard-hitting
songs.Lastyear,DesperadowasgivenaGrammyfor'ChangesintheWind,'andHankShoeman's
song'OutlawLove'wonhimacountrymusicawardandagoldrecord.Buttheirfameisn'tthereason
we'rehonoringthemtonight."
ToAmanda'ssurprise,heproducedagoldplaque."Assomeofyoumayremember,alittleovera
monthago,ateenagegirldiedataDesperadoconcert.Thegroup'sleadsingerleapedintothecrowd,
disregardingherownsafety,andwasverynearlytrampledtryingtoprotectthefan.Becauseofthat
tragedy,Desperadowentintoseclusion.We'reproudtotellyoutonightthatthey'rebackandthey'rein
betterformthanever.Thisplaqueisatokenofrespectfromtherestofusintheperformingartstoa
veryspecialyoungwomanwhosecompassionandselflessnesshavewontherespectofall."
HelookedouttowardtheaudiencewhereAmandasatfrozen."Thisisforyou—AmandaCorrie
Callaway.Willyoucomeupandjointhegroup,please?Comeon,Mandy!"
Shebitherlowerlip.Theplaquewasashock.Theboysseemedtoknowaboutit,too,becausethey
wenttotheirinstrumentsgrinningandbegantoplaythedownbeatthatDesperadowasknownfor,the
deepthrobbingcounterrhythmthatwastheirtrademark.
"Comeon,babe!"Hankcalledoutinhisboomingvoice,heandJohnsonandDekeandJack
lookingmuchmorelikebackwoodsrobbersthanmusicianswiththeirhugebulkandoutlawgear.
AmandaglancedatElliot'srapt,adoringface,andthenlookedatQuinn.Hewasfrowning,hisdark
eyessearchingthecrowd.Shesaidasilentgoodbyeasshegottoherfeet.Shereachedintoherpocket
forherheadbandandputitonherhead.Shecouldn'tlookathim,butshefelthisshockedstareasshe
walkeddowntheroomtowardthestage,herstepsbouncingastherhythmgotintoherfeetandher
blood.
"Thankyou,"shesaidhuskily,kissingtheentertainer'scheekassheacceptedtheplaque.Shemoved
inbetweenJohnsonandDeke,takingthemicrophone.ShelookedpastElliot'sproud,adoringfaceto
Quinn's.Heseemedtobeinastateofdarkshock.
"Thankyouall.I'vehadahardfewweeks.ButI'mokaynow,andI'mlookingforwardtobetter
times.Godbless,people.Thisoneisforaspecialmanandaspecialboy,withallmylove."She
turnedtoHank,nodded,andhebeganthethrobbingdrumbeatof"LoveSinger."
Itwasasongthattouchedtheheart,forallitsmadbeat.Thewords,inhersoft,sultry,clearvoice
caughteveryearintheroom.Shesangfromtheheart,withtheheart,thewordsfiercewithmeaning
asshesangthemtoQuinn."Loveyou,neverlovedanybodybutyou,neverleavemelonely,love...
singer."
ButQuinndidn'tseemtobelisteningtothewords.HegottohisfeetandjerkedElliottohis.He
walkedoutinthemiddleofthesongandneverlookedbackonce.
Amandamanagedtofinish,witheveryounceofwillpowershehadkeepingheronstage.Sheletthe
lastfewnoteshangintheairandthenshebowedtoastandingovation.Bythetimesheandtheband
didanencoreandshegotoutofthehall,thetruckthey'dcomeinwaslonggone.Therewasnonote,
nomessage.Quinnhadsaiditallwithhiseloquentbackwhenhewalkedoutofthehall.Heknewwho
shewasnow,andhewantednopartofher.Hecouldn'thavesaiditmoreclearlyifhe'dwrittenitin
blood.
Shekepthopingthathemightreconsider.Evenaftershewentbackstagewiththeboys,shekept
hopingforaphonecalloraglimpseofQuinn.Butnothinghappened.
"IguessI'mgoingtoneedaplacetostay,"Amandasaidwitharuefulsmile,herexpressiontelling
hergroupalltheyneededtoknow.
"Hecouldn'thandleit,huh?"Hankaskedquietly."I'msorry,babe.We'vegotasuite,there'splenty
ofroomforonemore.I'llgoupandgetyourgeartomorrow."
"Thanks,Hank."Shetookadeepbreathandclutchedtheplaquetoherchest."Where'sthenext
gig?"
"That'smygirl,"hesaidgently,slidingaprotectivearmaroundher."SanFrancisco'sournextstop.
TheboysandIaretakingalatebustomorrow."Hegrimacedatherknowingsmile."Well,youknow
howIfeelaboutairplanes."
"ChickenLittle,"sheaccused."Well,I'mnotgoingtositonabusallday.I'lltakethefirstcharter
outandmeetyouguysatthehotel."
"Whateverturnsyouon,"Hankchuckled."Comeon.Let'sgetoutofhereandgetsomerest."
"Youdidgood,Amanda,"Johnsonsaidfrombehindher."Wewereproud."
"Youbet,"DekeandJackseconded.
Shesmiledatthemall."Thanks,group.Ishockedmyself,butatleastIdidn'tgodrythewayIdidlast
time."Herheartwasbreakingintwo,butshemanagedtohideit.Quinn,shemoanedinwardly.Oh,
Quinn,wasIjustaninterlude,aninfatuation?
Shedidn'tsleepverymuch.ThenextmorningAmandawatchedHankstartoutforRicochetthenwent
downtoabreakfastthatshedidn'teveneatwhileshewaitedforhimtoreturn.
Hecamebackthreehourslater,lookingruffled.
"Didyougetmythings?"sheaskedwhenhecameintothesuite.
"Igotthem."Heputhersuitcasedownonthefloor."PartatSutton'splace,partattheDurningcabin.
Elliotsentyouanote."Heproducedit.
"And...Quinn?"
"Ineversawhim,"herepliedtersely."Theboyandtheoldmanwerethere.Theydidn'tmention
SuttonandIdidn'task.Iwasn'tfeelingtookeenonhimatthetime."
"Thanks,Hank."
Heshrugged."That'sthebreaks,kid.Itwouldhavebeenaroughcombinationatbest.You'rea
bright-lightsgirl."
"AmI?"sheasked,thinkinghoweasilyshe'dfitintoQuinn'sworld.Butshedidn'tpushit.Shesat
downonthecouchandopenedElliot'sscribblednote.
Amanda,
Ithoughtyouweregreat.Daddidn'tsayanythingallthewayhomeandlastnighthewentintohis
studyanddidn'tcomeoutuntilthismorning.Hewenthunting,hesaid,buthedidn'ttakeany
bullets.Ihopeyouareokay.Writemewhenyoucan.Iloveyou.
Yourfriend,
Elliot.
Shebitherliptokeepfromcrying.DearElliot.Atleasthestillcaredabouther.Butherfallfrom
graceinQuinn'seyeshadbeenfinal,shethoughtbitterly.He'dneverforgiveherfordeceivinghim.
Ormaybeitwasjustthathe'dgottenoverhisbriefinfatuationwithherwhenhefoundoutwhoshe
reallywas.Shedidn'tknowwhattodo.Shecouldn'tremembereverfeelingsomiserable.Tohave
discoveredsomethingthatprecious,onlytoloseitforever.ShefoldedEIliot'sletterandputitintoher
purse.Atleastitwouldbesomethingtorememberfromherbrieftasteofheaven.
Fortherestoftheday,thebandandJerry,theroadmanager,gotthearrangementsmadeforthe
SanFranciscoconcert,andfinaltravelplanswerelaid.TheboysweretoboardtheSanFranciscobus
thenextmorning.Amandawastoflyoutonaspecialaircharterthatspecializedinflightsfor
businessexecutives.They'dmanagedtofitherinatthelastminutewhenacomputer-company
executivehadcanceledhisflight.
"Iwishyou'dcomewithus,"Hanksaidhesitantly."IguessI'moverreactingandall,butIhate
airplanes."
"I'llbefine,"shetoldhimfirmly."Youandtheboyshaveanicetripandstopworryingaboutme.
I'llbefine."
"Ifyousayso,"Hankmumbled.
"Idosayso."Shepattedhimontheshoulder."Trustme."
Heshruggedandleft,buthedidn'tlookanylessworried.Amanda,who'dgottenusedtohismorose
predictions,didn'tpaythemanymind.
Shewenttothesuiteandintoherbedroomearlythatnight.HerfingersdialedthenumberatRicochet.
Shehadtotryonelasttime,shetoldherself.TherewasatleastthehopethatQuinnmightcareenough
tolistentoherexplanation.Shehadtotry.
Thephonerangonce,twice,andsheheldherbreath,butonthethirdringthereceiverwaslifted.
"Sutton,"cameadeepweary-soundingvoice.
Herheartlifted."Oh,Quinn,"sheburstout."Quinn,pleaseletmetrytoexplain—"
"Youdon'thavetoexplainanythingtome,Amanda,"hesaidstiffly."Isawitallonthestage."
"Iknowitlooksbad,"shebegan.
"Youliedtome,"hesaid."Youletmethinkyouwerejustashylittleinnocentwhoplayeda
keyboard,whenyouweresomefancybig-timeentertainerwithacountrywidefollowing."
"Iknewyouwouldn'twantmeifyouknewwhoIwas,"shesaidmiserably.
"YouknewI'dseerightthroughyouifIknew,"hecorrected,hisvoicegrowingangrier."You
playedmeforafool."
"Ididn't!"
"Allofitwasalie.Nothingbutalie!Well,youcangobacktoyourpublic,MissCallaway,and
youroutlawbuddies,andmakesomemorerecordsortapesorwhateverthehelltheyare.Inever
wantedyouinthefirstplaceexceptinbed,soit'snogreatlosstome."Hewasgrimacing,andshe
couldn'tseetheagonyinhiseyesasheforcedthewordsout.Nowthatheknewwhoandwhatshe
was,hedidn'tdarelethimselfweaken.Hehadtomakehergobacktoherownlife,andstayoutofhis.
Hehadnothingtogiveher,nothingthatcouldtaketheplaceoffameandfortuneandtheworldather
feet.He'dneverbeenmoreawareofhisowninadequaciesashehadbeenwhenhe'dseenAmandaon
thatstageandheardtheapplauseoftheaudience.Itrankedastheworstwakingnightmareofhislife,
puttingherforeveroutofhisreach.
"Quinn!"shemoaned."Quinn,youdon'tmeanthat!"
"Imeanit,"hesaidthroughhisteeth.Heclosedhiseyes."Everyword.Don'tcallhereagain,don't
comeby,don'twrite.You'reabadinfluenceonElliotnowthatheknowswhoyouare.Idon'twant
you.You'vewornoutyourwelcomeatRicochet."Hehungupwithoutanotherword.
Amandastaredatthetelephonereceiverasifithadsproutedwings.Slowlysheputitbackinthe
cradlejustastheroomsplinteredintowetcrystalaroundher.
Sheputonhergownmechanicallyandgotintobed,turningoutthebedsidelight.Shelayinthedark
andQuinn'swordsechoedinherheadwithmercilesscoolness.Badinfluence.Don'twantyou.Worn
outyourwelcome.Neverwantedyouanywayexceptinbed.
Shemoanedandburiedherfaceinherpillow.Shedidn'tknowhowshewasgoingtogoon,with
Quinn'scoldcontemptdoggingherfootsteps.Hehatedhernow.Hethoughtshe'dbeenplayinga
game,enjoyingherselfwhileshemadeafooloutofhim.Thetearsburnedhereyes.Howquicklyit
hadallended,howfinally.She'dhopedtokeepintouchwithElliot,butthatwouldn'tbepossible
anymore.ShewasabadinfluenceonElliot,sohewouldn'tbeallowedtocontacther.Shesobbedher
hurtintothecoollinen.Somehow,beingdeniedcontactwithElliotwasthelaststraw.She'dgrownso
fondoftheboyduringthosedaysshe'dspentatRicochet,andhecaredabouther,too.Quinnwas
beingunnecessarilyharsh.Butperhapshewasright,anditwasforthebest.Maybeshecouldlearnto
thinkthatwayeventually.Rightnowshehadaconcerttogetto,asold-outonefromwhattheboys
andJerryhadsaid.Shecouldn'tletthefansdown.
Amandagotupthenextmorning,lookingandfeelingasifitweretheendoftheworld.Theboys
tookhersuitcasedownstairs,notlookingtoocloselyatherfacewithoutmakeup,herlonghair
arrangedinathick,haphazardbun.Shewaswearingadarkpant-suitwithacream-coloredblouse,
andshelookedmiserable.
"We'llseeyouinSanFrancisco,"Jerrytoldherwithasmile."Ihavetogonursemaidthesebig,
toughguys,soyoumakesurethepilotofyourplanehasallhismarbles,okay?"
"I'llcheckhimoutmyself,"shepromised."Takecareofyourselves,guys.I'llseeyouin
California."
"Okay.Begood,babe,"Hankcalled.HeandtheothersfiledintothebusJerryhadcharteredand
Jerryhuggedherimpulsivelyandwentinbehindthem.
Shewatchedthebuspullaway,feelinglostandalone,notforthefirsttime.Itwascoldandsnowy,but
shehadn'twantedhercoat.Itwaspackedinhersuitcase,andhadalreadybeenputonthelightaircraft.
Withalongsigh,shewentbacktothecabandsatdisinterestedlyinitasitwoundoverthesnowy
roadstotheairport.
Fortunatelythechinookhadthawedtherunwayssothattheplaneswerecomingandgoingeasily.She
gotoutattheaircharterservicehangarandshookhandswiththepilot.
"Don'tworry,we'reingreatshape,"hepromisedAmandawithagrin."Infact,themechanicsjust
gaveusanotheronce-overtobesure.Nothingtoworryabout."
"Oh,Iwasn'tworried,"shesaidabsentlyandallowedherselftobeshepherdedinside.Sheslidinto
anemptyaisleseatontherightsideandbuckledup.Usuallyshepreferredtositbythewindow,but
todayshewasn'tinthemoodforsight-seeing.Onesnow-coveredmountainlookedprettymuchlike
anothertoher,andherheartwasn'tinthisflightorthegigthatwouldfollowit.Sheleanedbackand
closedhereyes.
Itseemedtotakeforeverforallthebusinessmentogetaboard.Fortunatelytherehadbeenone
morecancellation,soshehadherseatandthewindowseataswell.Shedidn'tfeelliketalkingto
anyone,andwashopingshewouldn'thavetositbysomechatterboxallthewaytoCalifornia.
Shelistenedtotheenginesrevupandmadesurethatherseatbeltwasproperlyfastened.They
wouldbeoffassoonasthetowerclearedthem,thepilotannounced.Amandasighed.Shecalleda
silentgoodbyetoQuinnSutton,andElliotandHarry,knowingthatoncethisplaneliftedoff,she'd
neverseeanyofthemagain.Shewincedatthethought.Oh,Quinn,shemoanedinwardly,why
wouldn'tyoulisten!
Theplanegotclearanceandaminutelater,itshotdowntherunwayandliftedoff.Butitseemed
oddlysluggish.Amandawasusedtoairtravel,eventocharterflights,andsheopenedhereyesand
peeredforwardworriedlyasshelistenedtothewhinebecomearoar.
Shewasstrappedin,butagroanfrombehindtookhermindofftheengine.Theelderlymanbehind
herwasclutchinghischestandgroaning.
"What'swrong?"sheaskedtheworriedbusinessmanintheseatbesidetheolderman.
"Heartattack,Ithink."Hegrimaced."Whatcanwedo?"
"IknowalittleCPR,"shesaid.Sheunfastenedherseatbelt;sodidthegroaningman'sseat
companion.Butjustastheystartedtolayhimonthefloor,someoneshoutedsomething.Smokebegan
topouroutofthecockpit,andthepilotcalledforeveryonetoas-
sumecrashpositions.Amandaturned,almostinslow
motion.Shecouldfeeltheforceofgravityincreaseas
theplanestarteddown.Thefloorwentoutfromun-
derherandherlastconsciousthoughtwasthatshe'd
neverseeQuinnagain
Elliotwaswatchingtelevisionwithoutmuchinterest,wishingthathisfatherhadlistenedwhen
Amandahadphonedthenightbefore.Hecouldn'tbelievethathewasgoingtobeforbiddentoeven
speaktoheragain,butQuinnhadinsisted,hiscoldvoicegivingnothingawayashe'dmadeElliot
promisetomakenoattempttocontacther.
Itseemedsounfair,hethought.Amandawasnowildpartygirl,surelyhisfatherknewthat?He
sighedheavilyandmunchedonanotherpotatochip.
Themoviehewaswatchingwassuddenlyinterruptedasthelocalstationbrokeinwithanews
bulletin.Elliotlistenedforaminute,gaspedandjumpeduptogethisfather.
Quinnwasintheoffice,notreallyconcentratingonwhathewasdoing,whenElliotburstin.The
boylookedodd,hisfrecklesstandingoutinanunnaturallypaleface.
"Dad,you'dbettercomehere,"hesaiduneasily."Quick!"
Quinn'sfirstthoughtwasthatsomethinghadhappenedtoHarry,butElliotstoppedinfrontofthe
television.Quinnfrownedashisdarkeyeswatchedthescreen.Theywereshowingtheairport.
"What'sthisall—"hebegan,thenstoppedtolisten.
"...planewentdownabouttenminutesago,accordingtoourbestinformation,"theman,probably
theairportmanager,wassaying."We'vegothelicoptersflyingintolookforthewreckage,butthe
windisup,andtheareatheplanewentdowninisalmostinaccessiblebyroad."
"Whatplane?"Quinnaskedabsently.
"Torepeatourearlierbulletin,"themanontelevisionseemedtooblige,'aprivatecharterplanehas
beenreportedlostsomewhereintheGrandTetonMountainsjustoutofJacksonHole.Oneeyewitness
interviewedbyKWJC-TVnewsmanBillDonovanstatedthathesawflamesshootingoutofthe
cockpitofthetwin-engineaircraftandthathewatcheditplummetintothemountainsandvanish.
AboardthecraftwereprominentSanFranciscobusinessmenBobDoyleandHarryBrown,andthe
leadsingeroftherockgroupDesperado,MandyCallaway."
Quinnsatdowninhischairhardenoughtoshakeit.HeknewhisfacewasaswhiteasElliot's.Inhis
mind,hecouldhearhisownvoicetellingMandyhedidn'twantheranymore,daringhertoever
contacthimagain.Nowshewasdead,andhefeltherlossassurelyasifoneofhisarmshadbeen
severedfromhisbody.
Thatwaswhenherealizedhowdesperatelyhelovedher.Whenitwastoolatetotakebacktheharsh
words,togoafterherandbringherhomewhereshebelonged.Hethoughtofhersoftbodylyingin
thecoldsnow,andasoundbrokefromhisthroat.He'dsentherawaybecausehelovedher,not
becausehe'dwantedtohurther,butshewouldn'thaveknownthat.Herlastmemoryofhimwould
havebeenapainful,hatefulone.She'dhavediedthinkinghedidn'tcare.
"Idon'tbelieveit,"Elliotsaidhuskily.Hewasshakinghishead."Ijustdon'tbelieveit.Shewas
onstageFridaynight,singingagain—"Hisvoicebrokeandheputhisfaceinhishands.
Quinncouldn'tbearit.HegotupandwentpastastartledHarryandoutthebackdoorinhis
shirtsleeves,soupsetthathedidn'tevenfeelthecold.Hiseyeswenttothebarn,wherehe'dwatched
Amandafeedthecalves,andaroundthebackwhereshe'drunfromhimthatsnowyafternoonandhe'd
hadtosaveherfromMcNaber'sbeartraps.Hisbigfistsclenchedbyhissidesandheshudderedwith
theforceofthegriefhefelt,hisfacecontorting.
"Amanda!"Hebitoffthename.
Alongtimelater,hewasawareofsomeonestandingnearby.Hedidn'tturnbecausehisfacewould
havesaidtoomuch.
"Elliottoldme,"Harrysaidhesitantly.Hestuckhishandsintohispockets."Theysaywheresheis,
theymaynotbeabletogetherout."
Quinn'steethclenched."I'llgetherout,"hesaidhuskily."Iwon'tleaveheroutthereinthecold."He
swallowed."Getmyskisandmybootsoutofthestoreroom,andmyinsulatedskisuitoutofthe
closet.I'mgoingtocallthelodgeandtalktoTerryMeade."
"HemanagesLarry'sLodge,doesn'the?"Harryrecalled.
"Yes.Hecangetachoppertotakemeup."
"Goodthingyou'vekeptupyourpractice,"Harrymuttered."Neverthoughtyou'dneedtheskisfor
somethingthisawful,though."
"NeitherdidI."Heturnedandwentbackinside.HemighthavetogiveupAmandaforever,buthe
wasn'tgivingheruptothatdamnedmountain.He'dgetheroutsomehow.
Hegrabbedthephone,ignoringElliot'squestions,andcalledthelodge,askingforTerryMeadein
atonethatgotinstantaction.
"Quinn!"Terryexclaimed."JustthemanIneed.Look,we'vegotacrash—"
"Iknow,"Quinnsaidtightly."Iknowthesinger.Canyougetmeatopomapoftheareaanda
chopper?I'llneedafirst-aidkit,too,andsomeflares—"
"Nosoonersaidthandone,"Terryrepliedtersely."AlthoughIdon'tthinkthatfirst-aidkitwillbe
needed,Quinn,I'msorry."
"Well,packitanyway,willyou?"Hefoughtdownnausea."I'llbeupthereinlessthanthirty
minutes."
"We'llbewaiting."
QuinngotintotheskisuitunderElliot'sfascinatedgaze.
"Youdon'tusuallywearthatsuitwhenweskitogether,"hetoldhisfather.
"Wedon'tstayoutthatlong,"Quinnexplained."Thissuitisarelativelynewinnovation.It'ssucha
tightweavethatitkeepsoutmoisture,butit'smadeinsuchawaythatitallowssweattogetout.It's
likehavingyourownheateralong."
"Iliketheboots,too,"Elliotremarked.Theywereblue,andtheyhadaknobontheheelthat
allowedthemtobetightenedtofittheskier'sfootexactly.Bootshadtofittighttoworkproperly.And
theskisthemselveswereequallyfascinating.Theyhadspecialbrakesthatunlockedwhentheskier
fell,whichstoppedtheskifromslidingdownthehill.
"Thosesurearelongskis,"Elliotremarkedashisfathertookprecioustimetoapplyhotwaxto
them.
"Longerthanyours,forsure.Theyfitmyheight,"Quinnsaidtersely."Andthey'reshortcompared
tojumpingskis."
"Didyoueverjump,Dad,ordidyoujustdodownhill?"
"Giantslalom,"hereplied."StrictlyAlpineskiing.That'sgoingtocomeinhandytoday."
Elliotsighed."Idon'tguessyou'llletmecomealong?"
"Nochance.Thisisnoplaceforyou."Hiseyesdarkened."GodknowswhatI'llfindwhenIgetto
theplane."
Elliotbithislowerlip."She'sdead,isn'tshe,Dad?"heaskedinachokedtone.
Quinn'sexpressionclosed."YoustayherewithHarry,anddon'ttieupthetelephone.I'llcallhome
assoonasIknowanything."
"Takecareofyourselfupthere,okay?"ElliotmurmuredasQuinnpickeduptheskisandtherestof
hisequipment,includingglovesandskicap."Idon'tsayitalot,butIloveyou,Dad."
"Iloveyou,too,son."Quinnpulledhimcloseandgavehimaquick,roughhug."IknowwhatI'm
doing.I'llbeokay."
"Goodluck,"HarrysaidasQuinnwentoutthebackdoortogetintohispickuptruck.
"I'llneedit,"Quinnmuttered.Hewaved,startedthetruck,andpulledoutintothedriveway.
TerryMeadewaswaitingwiththeSkiPatrol,thehelicopterpilot,assortedlawenforcementofficials
andthecivildefensedirectorandtryingtofieldthenewsmediagatheredatLarry'sLodge.
"Thisistheareawherewethinktheyare,"Terrysaidgrimly,showingQuinnthemap."Whatyou
callIronsidepeak,right?It'snotinourpatrolarea,sowedon'thaveanythingtodowithitofficially.
Thehelicoptertriedandfailedtogetintothevalleybelowitbecauseofthewind.Thetreesaredense
downthereandvisibilityislimitedbyblowingsnow.Ourteamsaregoingtostarthere,"hepointedat
variousplacesonthemap."Butthishillisakiller."HegrinnedatQuinn."Youcutyourteethonit
whenyouwerepracticingfortheOlympicsallthoseyearsago,andyou'vekeptupyourpractice
there.Ifanyonecanskiit,youcan."
"I'llgetin.Whatthen?"
"Sendupaflare.I'mpackingacellularphoneinwiththeotherstuffyouaskedfor.It'sgotabetter
rangethanourwalkie-talkies.Everybodyknowwhattodo?Right.Let'sgo."
Heledthemoutofthelodge.Quinnputonhisgoggles,tuggedhisskicapoverhisheadandthrust
hishandsintohisgloves.Hedidn'tevenwanttothinkaboutwhathemighthavetolookatifhewas
luckyenoughtofindthedownedplane.Hewashavingenoughtroublelivingwithwhathe'dsaidto
Amandathelasttimehe'dtalkedtoher.
Hecouldstillhearhervoice,hearthehurtinitwhenhe'dtoldherhedidn'twanther.Remembering
thatwaslikecuttingopenhisheart.Forhersake,he'dsentheraway.Hewasapoorman.Hehadso
littletooffersuchafamous,beautifulwoman.Atfirst,atthelodge,hispridehadbeencuttoribbons
whenhediscoveredwhoshewas,andhowshe'dfooledhim,howshe'ddeceivedhim.Buther
adorationhadbeenreal,andwhenhismindwasfunctioningagain,herealizedthat.He'dalmost
phonedherback,he'devendialedthenumber.Butherworldwassodifferentfromhis.
Hecouldn'tlethergiveupeverythingshe'dworkedallherlifefor,justtoliveinthemiddleof
nowhere.Shedeservedsomuchmore.Hesighedwearily.Ifshedied,thelastconversationwould
haunthimuntilthedayhedied.Hedidn'tthinkhecouldlivewithit.Hedidn'twanttohavetotry.She
hadtobealive.Oh,dearGod,shehadtobe!
ChapterNine
Thesunwasbright,andQuinnfeltitswarmthonhisfaceasthehelicoptersethimdownatthetopof
themountainpeakwheretheplanehadlastbeensighted.
Hewasaloneintheworldwhenthechopperliftedoffagain.Hecheckedhisbindingsonelasttime,
adjustedthelightweightbackpackandstareddownthelongmountainsidewithhisskipolesrestlessin
hishands.Thisparticularslopewasn'tskiedasarule.Itwasn'tevenconnectedwiththeresort,which
meantthattheSkiPatroldidn'tcomehere,andthattheusualrescuetobogganpostedonmostslopes
wouldn'tbeinevidence.Hewastotallyonhisownuntilhecouldfindthedownedplane.Andheknew
thatwhilehewassearchingthisuntamedarea,theSkiPatrolwouldbeoutinforceontheregular
slopeslookingfortheaircraft.
Hesighedheavilyashestareddownattherugged,untouchedterrain,whichwouldbeabeginning
skier'snightmare.Well,itwasnowornever.Amandawasdowntheresomewhere.Hehadtofindher.
Hecouldn'tleaveherthereinthecoldsnowforalleternity.
Hepulleddownhisgoggles,suppressedhisfeelingsandshovedtheskipolesdeepashepropelled
himselfdowntheslope.Thefirstcoupleofminutesweretrickyashehadtoallowfortheslightadded
weightofthebackpack.Butittookscanttimetoadjust,tobalancehisweightontheskisto
compensate.
Thewindbithisface,thesnowflewoverhisdarkskisuitashewounddowntheslopes,hisskis
throwinguppowderedsnowinhiswake.Itbroughtbackmemoriesofthedayswhenhe'd
maneuveredthroughthegiantslalominAlpineskiingcompetition.He'dbeeninthetoponepercent
ofhisclass,adaredevilskierwithcoldnerveandexpertcontrolontheslopes.Thismountainwasa
killer,butitwasoneheknewlikethebackofhishand.He'dtrainedonthispeakbackinhisearlydays
ofcompetition,lovingthedangerofskiingaslopewherenooneelsecame.Evenforthepastten
yearsorso,he'dhonedhisskillhereeverychancehegot.
Quinnsmiledtohimself,hisbodyleaningintotheturns,nottoofar,thecuttingedgeofhisskis
breakinghisspeedashemaneuveredoverboulders,downthefallline,aroundtreesandbroken
branchesoroverthem,whicheverseemedmoreexpedient.
Hisdarkeyesnarrowedashedefeatedtheobstacles.Atleast,thankGod,hewasabletodosomething
insteadofgoingthroughhellsittingathomewaitingforword.Thatinitselfwasablessing,evenifit
endedinthetragedyeveryoneseemedtothinkitwould.Hecouldn'tbeartoimagineAmandadead.He
hadtothinkpositively.Therewerepeoplewhowalkedawayfromairplanecrashes.Hehadtobelieve
thatshecouldbeoneofthem.Hehadtokeepthinkingthatorgomad.
He'dhopedagainsthopethatwhenhegotnearthebottomofthehill,underthosetallpinesandthe
deadlyupdraftsanddowndraftsthathaddefeatedthehelicopter'sreconnoitering,thathe'dfindthe
airplane.Butitwasn'tthere.Heturnedhisskissidewaysandskiddedtoastop,lookingaroundhim.
Maybetheobserverhadgottenhissightingwrong.Maybeitwasanotherpeak,maybeitwasmiles
away.Hebithislowerlipraw,tastingthelipbalmhe'dappliedbeforehecameontotheslope.If
anyoneonthatplanewasalive,timewasgoingtomakethedifference.Hehadtofinditquickly,or
Amandawouldn'thaveaprayerifshe'dmanagedtosurvivetheinitialimpact.
Hestarteddownhillagain,hisheartbeatincreasingastheworrybegantoeatathim.Onanimpulse,
heshotacrossthefallline,paralleltoitforalittlewhilebeforehemaneuveredbackandwentdown
againinlazySpatterns.Somethingcaughthisattention.Asound.Voices!
Hestoppedtolisten,turninghishead.Therewaswind,andthesoundofpinestouching.Butbeyond
itwasavoice,carryinginthesilenceofnature.Snowblanketedmostsound,makinggraveyardpeace
outofthemountain'sspringnoises.
Quinnadjustedhisweightontheskisandliftedhishandstohismouth,theskipolesdanglingfrom
hiswrists."Hello!Whereareyou?"heshouted,takingachancethatthevibrationofhisvoice
wouldn'tdislodgesnowabovehimandbringasheetofitdownonhim.
"Help!"voicescalledback."We'rehere!We'rehere!"
Hefollowedthesound,prayingthathewasn'tfollowinganecho.Butno,there,belowthetrees,he
sawaglintofmetalintheloweringsun.Theplane!ThankGod,thereweresurvivors!Nowifonly
Amandawasoneofthem...
Hewenttherestofthewaydown.Ashedrewcloser,hesawmenstandingnearthealmostintact
wreckageoftheaircraft.Onehadabandagearoundhishead,anotherwasnursingwhatlookedlikea
brokenarm.Hesawonewoman,butshewasn'tblond.Onthegroundweretwostillforms,covered
withcoats.Coveredup.
Please,God,no,hethoughtblindly.Hedrewtoastop.
"I'mSutton.Howmanydead?"heaskedthemanwho'dcalledtohim,aburlymaninagraysuitand
whiteshirtandtie.
"Two,"themanreplied."I'mJeffColeman,andIsureamgladtoseeyou."Heshookhandswith
Quinn."I'mthepilot.WehadafireinthecockpitanditwasallIcoulddotosetherdownatall.God,I
feelbad!Forsomereason,threeofthepassengershadtheirseatbeltsoffwhenwehit."Heshookhis
head."Nohopefortwoofthem.Thethird'sconcussedandlookscomatose."
Quinnfelthimselfshakinginsideasheaskedthequestionhehadtoask."Therewasasinger
aboard,"hesaid."AmandaCallaway."
"Yeah."ThepilotshookhisheadandQuinnwantedtodie,hewantedtostopbreathingrightthere..
."She'stheconcussion."
Quinnknewhishandshookashepushedhisgogglesupovertheblackskicap."Whereisshe?"he
askedhuskily.
Thepilotdidn'taskquestionsorargue.HeledQuinnpastthetwobodiesandthedazedbusinessmen
whowerestandingorsittingonfabricthey'dtakenfromtheplane,tryingtokeepwarm.
"She'shere,"thepilottoldhim,indicatingamakeshiftstretcherconstructedofbranchesand
pillowsfromthecabin,andcoatsthatcoveredthestillbody.
"Amanda,"Quinnmanagedunsteadily.Hekneltbesideher.Herhairwasinacoiledbunonher
head.Herfacewasalabasterwhite,hereyesclosed,longblacklasheslyingstillonhercheekbones.
Hermouthwasaspaleastherestofherface,andtherewasabruisehighonherforeheadattheright
temple.Hestrippedoffhisgloveandfeltthearteryatherneck.Herheartwasstillbeating,butslowly
andnotveryfirmly.Unconscious.Dying,perhaps."Oh,God,"hebreathed.
Hegottohisfeetandunloadedthebackpackasthepilotandtwooftheothermengatheredaround
him.
"I'vegotamodularphone,"Quinnsaid,"whichIhopetoGodwillwork."Hepunchedbuttonsand
waited,hisdarkeyesnarrowed,holdinghisbreath.
Itseemedtotakeforever.Thenavoice,arecognizablevoice,cameoverthewire."Hello."
"Terry!"Quinncalled."It'sSutton.I'vefoundthem."
"ThankGod!"Terryreplied."Okay,givemeyourposition."
Quinndid,spreadingouthislaminatedmaptoverifyit,andthengavethereportoncasualties.
"Onlyoneunconscious?"Terryaskedagain.
"Onlyone,"Quinnrepliedheavily.
"We'llhavetoairliftyouout,butwecan'tdoituntilthewinddiesdown.Youunderstand,Quinn,the
samedowndraftsandupdraftsthatkeptthechopperoutthismorningaregoingtokeepitoutnow."
"Yes,Iknow,damnit,"Quinnyelled."ButI'vegottogethertoahospital.She'sfailingalready."
Terrysighed."Andthereyouarewithoutarescuetoboggan.Listen,whatifIgetLarryHaledown
there?"heaskedexcitedly."YouknowLarry;hewasnationalchampindownhillafewyearsback,
andhe'saseniormemberoftheSkiPatrolnow.Wecouldairdropyouthetobogganandsome
suppliesfortherestofthesurvivorsbyplane.Thetwoofyoucouldtowhertoapointaccessibleby
chopper.Doyouwanttoriskit,Quinn?"
"Idon'tknowifshe'llbealiveinthemorning,Terry,"Quinnsaidsomberly."I'mmoreafraidto
riskdoingnothingthanIamoftowingherout.It'sfairlylevel,ifIrememberright,allthewaytothe
passthatleadsfromCarawayRidgeintoJacksonHole.Thechoppermightbeabletoflydown
JacksonHoleandcomeinthatway,withouthavingtonavigatethepeaks.Whatdoyouthink?"
"Ithinkit'sagoodidea,"Terrysaid."IfIrememberright,theyclearedthatpassfromtheRidge
intoJacksonHoleinthefall.Itshouldstillbeaccessible."
"Noproblem,"Quinnsaid,hisjawgrim."Ifitisn'tcleared,I'llclearit,byhandifnecessary."
Terrychuckledsoftly."Halesayshe'salreadyontheway.We'llgettheplaneup—hellofapityhe
can'tlandwhereyouare,butit'sjusttootricky.Howabouttheothersurvivors?"
Quinntoldhimtheirconditions,alongwiththetwobodiesthatwouldhavetobeairliftedout.
"Toobad,"hereplied.Hepausedforaminutetotalktosomebody."Listen,Quinn,ifyoucanget
thewomantoCarawayRidge,thechopperpilotthinkshecansafelyputdownthere.Abouttheothers,
cantheymanageuntilmorningifwedropthesupplies?"
Quinnlookedatthepilot."Canyou?"
"IatesnakesinNamandBilloverthereservedinAntarctica."Hegrinned."Betweenus,wecan
keepthesepilgrimswarmandevenfeedthem.Sure,we'llbeokay.Getthatlittleladyoutifyoucan."
"Amen,"themannamedBilladded,glancingatAmanda'sstillform."I'veheardhersing.Itwould
beacrimeagainstarttoletherdie."
Quinnliftedthecellularphonetohisear."Theysaytheycanmanage,Terry.Areyousureyoucanget
themoutinthemorning?"
"Ifwehavetosendthesnowplowinthroughthevalleyorsendinasquadofsnowmobilesanda
horse-drawnsled,you'dbetterbelievewe'llgetthemout.TheSkiPatrolisalreadyworkingoutthe
details."
"Okay."
Quinnunloadedhisbackpack.Hehadflaresandmatches,packetsofhighproteindehydratedfood,the
first-aidkitandsomecansofsterno.
"Paradise,"thepilotsaid,lookingatthestores."Withthat,Icanprepareaseven-coursemeal,build
abonfireandmakeahouse.Butthosesuppliesthey'regoingtodropwillcomeinhandy,justthe
same."
Quinnsmiledinspiteofhimself."Okay."
"Wecansureusethisfirst-aidkit,butI'vealreadysetabrokenarmandpatchedafewcuts.BeforeI
becameapilot,Iworkedinthemedicalcorps."
"IhadrescuetrainingwhenIwasintheSkiPatrol,"Quinnreplied.Hegrinnedatthepilot."ButifI
evercomedowninaplane,Ihopeyou'reonit."
"Thanks.Ihopenoneofusevercomedownagain."Heglancedatthetwobodies."God;I'msorry
aboutthem."HeglancedatAmanda."Ihopeshemakesit."
Quinn'sjawhardened."She'safighter,"hesaid."Let'shopeshecaresenoughtotry."Healone
knewhowdefeatedshe'dprobablyfeltwhensheleftthelodge.He'dinflictedsometerribledamage
withhiscoldness.Pridehadforcedhimtosendheraway,todenyhisownhappiness.Onceheknew
howfamousandwealthyshewasinherownright,hehadn'tfeltthathehadtherighttoaskhertogive
italluptolivewithhimandElliotinthewildsofWyoming.He'dbeendoingwhathethoughtwas
bestforher.Nowheonlywantedhertolive.
Hetookadeepbreath."WatchfortheplaneandHale,willyou?I'mgoingtositwithher."
"Sure."Thepilotgavehimalonglookthathedidn'tseebeforehewentbacktotalktotheother
survivors.
QuinnsatdownbesideAmanda,reachingforonecoldlittlehandunderthecoatsthatcoveredher.It
wasgoingtobearoughrideforher,andshedidn'tneedanymorejarring.Butiftheywaiteduntil
morning,withoutmedicalhelp,shecoulddie.Itwasmuchriskiertodonothingthanitwastorisk
movingher.Anddownhereinthevalley,thesnowwasdeepandfairlylevel.ItwouldbelikeNordic
skiing;crosscountryskiing.Withluck,itwouldfeellikeanicelazysleighridetoher.
"Listentome,honey,"hesaidsoftly."We'vegotalongwaytogobeforewegetyououtofhere
andtoahospital.You'regoingtohavetoholdonforalongtime."Hishandtightenedaroundhers,
warmingit."I'llberightwithyoueverystepoftheway.Iwon'tleaveyouforasecond.Butyouhave
todoyourpart,Amanda.Youhavetofighttostayalive.Ihopethatyoustillwanttolive.Ifyoudon't,
there'ssomethingIneedtotellyou.IsentyouawaynotbecauseIhatedyou,Amanda,butbecauseI
lovedyousomuch.Ilovedyouenoughtoletyougobacktothelifeyouneeded.You'vegottostay
alivesothatIcantellyouthat,"headded,stoppingbecausehisvoicebroke.
Helookedaway,gettingcontrolbackbreathbybreath.Hethoughthefeltherfingersmove,buthe
couldn'tbesure."I'mgoingtogetyououtofhere,honey,onewayortheother,evenifIhavetowalk
outwithyouinmyarms.Trytoholdon,forme,"Hebroughtherhandtohismouthandkissedthe
palmhungrily."Trytoholdon,becauseifyoudie,sodoI.Ican'tkeepgoingunlessyou're
somewhereintheworld,evenifIneverseeyouagain.Evenifyouhatemeforever."
Heswallowedhardandputdownherhand.Thesoundofanairplaneinthedistanceindicatedthat
supplieswereontheway.QuinnputAmanda'shandbackunderthecoverandbenttobrushhismouth
againsthercold,stillone.
"Iloveyou,"hewhisperedroughly."You'vegottoholdonuntilIcangetyououtofhere."
Hestood,hisfacelikethestonycragsabovethem,hiseyesglitteringashejoinedtheothers.
Theplanecircledandsecondslater,awhiteparachuteappeared.Quinnheldhisbreathasit
descended,hopingagainsthopethatthechutewouldn'thangupinthetalltreesandthatthetoboggan
wouldsoft-landsothatitwasusable.Adropinthiskindofwindwasriskyatbest.
Butluckwaswiththem.Thesuppliesandthesledmadeitinonepiece.Quinnandthepilotanda
coupleofthesturdiersurvivorsunfastenedthechuteandbroughtthecontentsbacktothewreckageof
thecommuterplane.Thesledwasevenequippedwithblanketsandapillowandstrapstokeep
Amandasecured.
Minuteslater,thedroneofahelicopterwhisperedonthewind,andnotlongafterthat,Halestarted
downthemountainside.
Ittookseveralminutes.Quinnsawtheflashofrustthatdenotedthedistinctivejacketandwhite
waistpackoftheSkiPatrolabove,andwhenHalecamecloser,hecouldseethegoldcrossonthe
rightpocketofthejacket—aduplicateofthebigonestenciledonthejacket'sback.Hesmiled,
rememberingwhenhe'dwornthatsametypeofjacketduringabriefstintasaskipatrolman.Itwasa
specialkindofoccupation,andcountlessskiersowedtheirlivestothosebravemenandwomen.The
NationalSkiPatrolhadonlyexistedsince1938.ItwascreatedbyCharlesDoleofConnecticut,aftera
skiingaccidentthattookthelifeofoneofhisfriends.Today,theSkiPatrolhadover10,000members
nationally,ofwhomninety-eightpercentwerevolunteers.Theywerethefirstontheslopesandthe
lastoff,patrolingfordangerousareasandrescuinginjuredpeople.Quinnhadoncebeenpartofthat
elitegroupandhestillhadthegreatestrespectforthem.
Halewastheonlycoloragainstthewhitenessofthesnow.Thesunwasout,andthankGodithadn't
snowedallday.Ithaddoneenoughofthatlastnight.
Quinn'snerveswerestretched.Hehadn'thadacigarettesincehe'darrivedatthelodge,andhedidn't
darehaveonenow.Nicotineandcaffeinetendedtoconstrictbloodvessels,andthecoldwas
dangerousenoughwithoutgivingitanyhelp.Experiencedskiersknewbetterthantostacktheodds
againstthemselves.
"Well,Imadeit."Halegrinned,gettinghisbreath."Howareyou,Quinn?"Heextendedahandand
Quinnshookit.
ThemanintheSkiPatroljacketnoddedtotheothers,acceptedtheirthanksforthesupplieshe'd
broughtwithhim,whichincludedamakeshiftshelterandplentyoffoodandwaterandevenabottle
ofcognac.Buthedidn'twastetime."We'dbettergetmovingifwehopetogetMissCallawayoutof
herebydark."
"She'soverhere,"Quinnsaid."God,Ihatedoingthis,"headdedheavilywhenheandHalewere
standingovertheunconsciouswoman."Iftherewasanyhope,anyatall,thatthechoppercouldgetin
here..."
"Youcanfeelthewindforyourself,"Halereplied,hiseyessolemn."We'retheonlychanceshehas.
We'llgethertothechopper.Pieceofcake,"headdedwithareassuringsmile.
"Ihopeso,"Quinnsaidsomberly.HebentandnoddedtoHale.Theyliftedherverygentlyontothe
longsledcontainingthelitter.Ithadhandlesonbothends,becauseitwasdesignedtobetowed.They
attachedthetowlines,coveredAmandacarefullyandsetout,withreassurancesfromthestranded
survivors.
Therewasnotimetotalk.Thetrackwasfairlystraightforward,butitworriedQuinn,allthesame,
becausetherewerecruststhatjarredthewomanonthelitter.Hetowed,Haleguided,theirrhythms
matchingperfectlyastheymadetheirwaydownthesnow-coveredvalley.Aroundthem,thewind
sangthroughthetallfirsandlodgepolepines,andQuinnthoughtabouttheoldtrappersandmountain
menwhomusthavecomethroughthisvalleyahundred,twohundredyearsbefore.Inthosedaysof
poorsanitationandevenpoorermedicine,Amandawouldn'thavestoodachance.
Heforcedhimselfnottolookback.HehadtoconcentrateongettinghertotheRidge.Allthatwas
importantnow,wasthatshegetmedicalhelpwhileitcouldstilldohersomegood.Hehadn'tcomeall
thiswaytofindheralive,onlytoloseher.
Itseemedtotakeforever.OnceQuinnwascertainthatthey'dlosttheirwayastheynavigated
throughthenarrowpassthatledtothefifty-milevalleybetweentheGrandTetonsandtheWindRiver
Range,anareaknownasJacksonHole.Butherecognizedlandmarksastheywentalong,and
eventuallytheywoundtheirwayaroundthetreesandalongthesparklingriveruntiltheyreachedthe
flatsbelowCarawayRidge.
QuinnandHalewerebothbreathinghardbynow.They'dchangedplacesseveraltimes,sothat
neithergottootiredoftowingthetoboggan,andtheywerebothinpeakcondition.Butitwasstilla
difficultthingtodo.
Theyrested,andQuinnreacheddowntocheckAmanda'spulse.Itwasstillthere,andevenseemedto
be,incredibly,alittlestrongerthanithadbeen.ButshewaspaleandstillandQuinnfelthisspirits
sinkashelookeddownather.
"Thereitis,"Halecalled,sweepinghisarmovertheridge."Thechopper."
"Nowifonlyitcanland,"Quinnsaidquietly,andhebegantopray.
Thechoppercamelowerandlower,thenitseemedtoshootupagainandQuinnbitoffahard
word.Butthepilotcorrectedforthewind,whichwasdyingdown,andeasedthehelicoptertowardthe
ground.Itseemedtosettleinchbyinchuntilitlandedsafe.Thepilotwasoutofitbeforetheblades
stopped.
"Let'sgetoutofhere,"hecalledtothemen."Ifthatwindcatchesupagain,Iwouldn'tgiveusa
chanceinhellofgettingout.ItwasamiraclethatIevengotin!"
Quinnreleasedhisbindingsinaflash,leavinghisskisandpolesforHaletocarry,alongwithhis
own.Hegotonesideofthestretcherwhilethepilot,fortunatelynolightweighthimself,gottheother.
Theyputthestretcherinthebackofthebroadhelicopter,onthefloor,andQuinnandHalepiledin—
Haleinthepassengerseatupfront,QuinnbehindwithAmanda,carefullylayingskiequipmentbeside
her.
"Let'sgo!"thepilotcalledasherevveduptheengine.
Itwastouchandgo.Thewinddecidedtoplaytagwiththem,andtheyalmostwentintoalodgepole
pineonthewayup.Butthepilotwasatenaciousmanwithgoodnerves.Heeaseddownandthenup,
downandupuntilhecaughtthewindoffguardandshotupoutofthevalleyandoverthemountain.
QuinnreacheddownandclaspedAmanda'scoldhandinhis.Onlyalittlelonger,honey,hethought,
watchingherwithhisheartinhiseyes.Onlyalittlelonger,forGod'ssake,holdon!
Itwasthelongestrideofhisentirelife.Hesparedonethoughtforthepeoplewho'dstayedbehindto
giveAmandaherchanceandheprayedthatthey'dberescuedwithoutanyfurtherinjuries.Thenhis
eyessettledonherpalefaceandstayedthereuntilthehelicopterlandedonthehospitallawn.
Thereporters,local,stateandnational,hadgottenwordoftherescuemission.Theywerewaiting.
PolicekeptthembackjustlongenoughforAmandatobecarriedintothehospital,butQuinnand
Halewerecaught.QuinnvolunteeredHaletogiveanaccountoftherescueandthenheduckedout,
leavingtheothermantofieldtheenthusiasticaudiencewhilehetrailedquicklybehindthemenwho'd
takenAmandaintotheemergencyroom.
Hedrankcoffeeandsmokedcigarettesandglaredatwallsforoveranhouruntilsomeonecameout
totalktohim.Halehadtogobacktothelodge,tohelpplantherescueoftherestofthesurvivors,but
hepromisedtokeepintouch.Afterhe'dgone,Quinnfeltevenmorealone.Butatlastadoctorcame
intothewaitingroom,andapproachedhim.
"AreyourelatedtoMissCallaway?"thedoctoraskedwithnarrowedeyes.
Quinnknewthatifhesaidno,he'dhavetowaitfornewsofherconditionuntilhecouldfind
somebodywhowasrelatedtoher,andhehadnoideahowtofindheraunt.
"I'mherfiancé,"hesaidwithoutmovingamuscleinhisface."Howisshe?"
"Notgood,"thedoctor,asmallwiryman,saidbluntly."ButIbelieveinmiracles.Wehaveherin
inten-sivecare,whereshe'llstayuntilsheregainsconscious-ness.She'sbadlyconcussed.Igathershe
hasn'tregainedconsciousnesssincethecrash?"Quinnshookhishead."Thatsleighrideand
helicopterliftdidn'tdoanygood,either,"headdedfirmly,addingwhenhesawtheexpressionon
Quinn'stormentedface,"butIcanunderstandthenecessityforit.Gogetsomesleep.Comebackin
themorning.Wewon'tknowanythinguntilthen.Maybenotuntilmuchlater.Concussionistricky.We
can'tpredicttheoutcome,asmuchaswe'dliketo."
"Ican'trest,"Quinnsaidquietly."I'llsitouthereanddrinkcoffee,ifyoudon'tmind.Ifthisisas
closetoherasIcanget,it'llhavetodo."
Thedoctortookaslowbreath."Wekeepsparebedsincaseslikethis,"hesaid."I'llhaveonemade
upforyouwhenyoucan'tstayawakeanylonger."Hesmiledfaintly."Trytothinkpositively.Itisn't
medical,exactly,butsometimesitworkswonders.Prayerdoesn'thurt,either."
"Thankyou,"Quinnsaid.
Thedoctorshrugged."Waituntilshewakesup.Goodnight."
Quinnwatchedhimgoandsighed.Hedidn'tknowwhattodonext.HephonedTerryatthelodgeto
seeifAmanda'sbandhadcalled.SomeonenamedJerryandamancalledHankhadbeenphoning
everyfewminutes,hewastold.QuinnaskedforaphonenumberandTerrygaveittohim.
Hedialedtheareacode.California,hefiguredashewaitedforittoring.
"Hello?"
"ThisisQuinnSutton,"hebegan.
"Yes,Irecognizeyourvoice.It'sHankhere.Howisshe?"
"Concussion.Coma,Iguess.She'sinintensivecareandshe'sstillalive.That'saboutallIknow."
Therewasalongpause."I'dhopedforalittlemorethanthat."
"SohadI,"Quinnreplied.Hehesitated."I'llphoneyouinthemorning.TheminuteIknowanything.
Isthereanybodyweshouldnotify...heraunt?"
"Herauntisascatterbrainandnohelpatall.Anyway,she'soffwithBlalockDurninginthe
Bahamasononeofthoseincommunicadoislands.Wecouldn'treachherifwetried."
"Isthereanybodyelse?"Quinnasked.
"NotthatIknowof."Therewasabriefpause."Ifeelbadaboutthewaythingshappened.Ihate
planes,youknow.That'swhytherestofuswentbybus.Westoppedhereinsomehicktowntomake
sureAmandagotherplane,andTerrytolduswhathappened.Wegotamotelroomandwe'rewaiting
forabusbacktoJackson.Itwillprobablybelatetomorrowbeforewegetthere.We'vealready
canceledthegig.Wecan'tdoitwithoutAmanda.
"I'llbookaroomforyou,"Quinnsaid.
"Makeitasuite,"Hankreplied,"andifyouneedanything,youknow,anything,youjusttellus."
"I'vegotplentyofcigarettesandthecoffeemachine'sworking.I'mfine."
"We'llseeyouwhenwegetthere.AndSutton—thanks.Shereallycaresaboutyou,youknow?"
"Icareabouther,"hesaidstiffly."That'swhyIsentheraway.MyGod,howcouldshegiveallthat
uptoliveonamountaininWyoming?"
"Amanda'snotacitygirl,though,"Hanksaidslowly."Andshechangedafterthosedaysshespent
withyou.Herheartwasn'twithusanymore.Shecriedalllastnight..."
"Oh,God,don't,"Quinnsaid.
"Sorry,man,"Hanksaidquietly."I'mreallysorry,that'sthelastthingIshouldhavesaid.Look,go
smokeacigarette.IthinkI'lltieoneonroyallyandhavetheboysputmetobed.Tomorrowwe'lltalk.
Takecare."
"You,too."
Quinnhungup.Hecouldn'tbeartothinkofAmandacryingbecauseofwhathe'ddonetoher.He
mightloseherevenyet,andhedidn'tknowhowhewasgoingtogoonliving.Hefeltsoalone.
HewasoutofchangeafterhecalledthelodgeandbookedthesuiteforHankandtheothers,buthe
stillhadtotalktoElliotandHarry.Hedialedtheoperatorandcalledcollect.Elliotansweredthe
phoneimmediately.
"Howisshe?"heaskedquickly.
Quinnwentoveritagain,feelingnumb."IwishIknewmore,"heconcluded."Butthat'sallthereis."
"Shecan'tdie,"Elliotsaidmiserably."Dad,shejustcan't!"
"Sayaprayer,son,"hereplied."Anddon'tletHarryteachyouanybadhabitswhileI'mgone."
"No,sir,Iwon't,"Elliotsaidwithafeebleattemptathumor."You'regoingtostay,Iguess?"
"Ihaveto,"Quinnsaidhuskily.Hehesitated."Iloveher."
"SodoI,"Elliotsaidsoftly."Bringherbackwhenyoucome."
"IfIcan.Ifshe'llevenspeaktomewhenshewakesup,"Quinnsaidwithatotallackofconfidence.
"Shewill,"Elliottoldhim."Youshouldhavelistenedtosomeofthosesongsyouthoughtwereso
horrible.OneofherswonaGrammy.Itwasallabouthavingtogiveupthingswelovetokeepfrom
hurtingthem.Shealwaysseemedtofeelitwhensomebodywassadorhurt,youknow.Andsherisked
herownlifetryingtosavethatgirlattheconcert.She'snotsomeonewhothinksaboutgettingeven
withpeople.She'sgottoomuchheart."
Quinndrewdeeplyfromhiscigarette."Ihopeso,son,"hesaid."Yougettobed.I'llcallyou
tomorrow."
"Okay.Takecareofyourself.Loveyou,Dad."
"Me,too,son,"Quinnreplied.Hehungup.Thewaitingareawasdesertednow,andthehospital
seemedtohavegonetosleep.HesatdownwithhisStyrofoamcupofblackcoffeeandfinishedhis
cigarette.Theroomlookedlikehefelt—empty.
ChapterTen
It
waslatemorningwhenthenursecametoshakeQuinngentlyawake.Apparentlyarounddawnhe'd
gonetosleepsittingup,withanemptycoffeecupinhishand.Hethoughthe'dneversleepatall.
Hesatup,drowsyanddisheveled."HowisAmanda?"heaskedimmediately.
Thenurse,ayoungblonde,smiledathim."She'sawakeandaskingforyou."
"Oh,thankGod,"hesaidheavily.Hegotquicklytohisfeet,stillalittlegroggy,andfollowedher
downtotheintensive-careunit,wherepatientsintinyroomsweremonitoredfromacentralnurses'
stationandthehumandclickandwhiroflife-supportingmachineryfilledtheair.Ifshewasasking
forhim,shemustnothatehimtoomuch.Thatthoughtsustainedhimashefollowedthenurseinto
oneofthesmallcubicleswhereAmandalay.
Amandalookedthinnerthaneverinthelight,herfacepinched,hereyeshollow,herlipschapped.
They'dtakenherhairdownsomewherealongthewayandtieditbackwithapinkribbon.Shewas
proppedupinbed,stillwiththeIVinposition,butshe'dbeentakenoffalltheothermachines.
ShelookedupandsawQuinnandallthewearinessandpainwentoutofherface.Shebrightened,
becamebeautifuldespiteherinjuries,hereyessparkling.Herlastthoughtwhenshe'drealizedinthe
planewhatwasgoingtohappenhadbeenofQuinn.Herfirstthoughtwhenshe'dregained
consciousnesshadbeenofhim.Thepain,thegriefofhavinghimturnawayfromherwasforgotten.
Hewashere,now,andthatmeanthehadtocareabouther.
"Oh,Quinn!"shewhisperedtearfully,andheldoutherarms.
Hewenttoherwithouthesitation,ignoringthenurses,theaides,thewholeworld.Hisarmsfolded
gentlyaroundher,carefulofthetubesattachedtoherhand,andhisheadbentoverhers,hischeekon
hersofthair,hiseyesclosedasheshiveredwithreaction.Shewasalive.Shewasgoingtolive.Hefelt
asifheweregoingtochoketodeathonhisownrushoffeeling.
"MyGod,"hewhisperedshakily.
"I
thoughtI'dlostyou."
Thatwasworthitall,shethought,dazedfromtheemotioninhisvoice,atthetremorinhispowerful
bodyasheheldher.Sheclungtohim,herslenderarmsaroundhisneck,drowninginpleasure.She'd
wonderedifhehadn'tsentherawayinamisguidedbeliefthatitwasforherowngood.Nowshewas
sureofit.Hecouldn'thavelookedthathaggard,thatterrible,unlessshematteredverymuchtohim.
Herachingheartsoared."Theysaidyoubroughtmeout."
"HaleandIdid,"hesaidhuskily.Heliftedhishead,searchingherbrighteyesslowly."It'sbeenthe
longestnightofmylife.Theysaidyoumightdie."
"Oh,weCallawaysaretoughbirds,"shesaid,wipingawayatear.Shewasstillweakandsoreand
herheadachehadn'tcompletelygoneaway."Youlookterrible,mydarling,"shewhisperedona
chokedlaugh.
Theendearmentfiredhisblood.Hehadtotakeadeepbreathbeforehecouldevenspeak.His
fingerslinkedwithhers."Ifeltprettyterriblewhenwelistenedtothenewsreport,especiallywhenI
rememberedthethingsIsaidtoyou."Hetookadeepbreath."Ididn'tknowifyou'dhatemeforthe
restofyourlife,butevenifyoudid,Icouldn'tjustsitonmymountainandletotherpeoplelookfor
you."Histhumbgentlystrokedthebackofherpalehand."Howdoyoufeel,honey?"
"Prettybad.Butconsideringitall,I'lldo.I'msorryaboutthemenwhodied.Oneofthemwas
havingaheartattack,"sheexplained."Theothergentlemanwhowassittingwithhimalertedme.We
bothunfastenedourseatbeltstotryandgiveCPR.JustafterIgotup,theplanestarteddown,"she
said."Quinn,doyoubelieveinpredestination?"
"Youmean,thatthingshappenthewaythey'remeanttoinspiteofus?"Hesmiled."IguessIdo."
Hisdarkeyesslidoverherfacehungrily."I'msogladitwasn'tyourtime,Amanda."
"SoamI."Shereachedupandtouchedhisthinmouthwithjustthetipsofherfingers."Whereis
it?"sheaskedwithanimpishsmileasasuddendeliciousthoughtoccurredtoher.
Hefrowned."Where'swhat?"
"Myengagementring,"shesaid."Anddon'ttrytobackoutofit,"sheaddedfirmlywhenhestood
therelookingshocked."YoutoldthedoctorandthewholemedicalstaffthatIwasyourfiancée,and
you'renotduckingoutofitnow.You'regoingtomarryme."
Hiseyebrowsshotup."I'mwhat?"hesaidblankly.
"You'regoingtomarryme.Where'sHank?Hasanybodyphonedhim?"
"Idid.Iwassupposedtocallhimback."Hecheckedhiswatchandgrimaced."Iguessit'stoolate
now.Heandthebandareonthewaybackhere."
"Good.They'retwiceyoursizeandatleastasmean."Hereyesnarrowed."I'lltellthemyouseduced
me.Icouldbepregnant."Shenodded,thinkingupliesfastwhileQuinn'sfacemirroredhisstark
astonishment."That'sright,Icould."
"Youcouldnot,"hesaidshortly."Inever...!"
"Butyou'regoingto,"shesaidwithahuskylaugh."JustwaituntilIgetoutofhereandgetyou
alone.I'llwrestleyoudownandstartkissingyou,andyou'llnevergetawayintime."
"Oh,God,"hegroaned,becauseheknewshewasright.Hecouldn'tresistherthatway,itwaspart
oftheproblem.
"Soyou'llhavetomarrymefirst,"shecontinued."BecauseI'mnotthatkindofgirl.Nottomention
thatyouaren'tthatkindofguy.HarrylikesmeandElliotandIarealreadyfriends,andIcouldeven
getusedtoMcNaberifhe'llmovethosetraps."Shepursedherlips,thinking."Theconcerttouris
goingtobearealdrag,butonceit'sover,I'llretirefromthestageandjustmakerecordsandtapes
andCDswiththeguys.Maybeavideonowandagain.They'lllikethat,too.We'reallbasicallyshyand
wedon'tlikeliveshows.I'llcomposesongs.Icandothatatthehouse,inbetweenhelpingHarrywith
thecookingandlookingaftersickcalves,andhavingbabies,"sheaddedwithashysmile.
Hewantedtositdown.Hehadn'tcountedonthis.Allthathadmatteredatthetimewasgettingher
awayfromthewreckageandintoahospitalwhereshecouldbecaredfor.Hehadn'tlethimselfthink
ahead.Butsheobviouslyhad.Hisheadspunwithherplans.
"Listen,you'reanentertainer,"hebegan.Hisfingerscurledaroundhersandhelookeddownat
themwithahard,grimsigh."Amanda,I'mapoorman.AllI'vegotisabroken-downranchinthe
middleofnowhere.You'dhavealotofhardships,becauseIwon'tliveonyourmoney.I'vegotason,
evenifheisn'tmine,and..."
Shebroughthishandtohercheekandhelditthere,nuzzlinghercheekagainstitasshelookedupat
himwithdark,soft,adoringeyes."Iloveyou,"shewhispered.
Hefaltered.Hischeekswentruddyasthewordspenetrated,touchedhim,excitedhim.Exceptfor
hismotherandElliot,nobodyhadeversaidthattohimbeforeAmandahad."Doyou?"heasked
huskily."Still?EvenafterthewayIwalkedoffandleftyouthereatthelodgethatnight?AfterwhatI
saidtoyouonthephone?"headded,becausehe'dhadtoomuchtimetoagonizeoverhisbehavior,
evenifithadbeenforwhathethoughtwasherowngood.
"Evenafterthat,"shesaidgently."Withallmyheart.Ijustwanttolivewithyou,Quinn.Inthewilds
ofWyoming,inagrassshackonsomeisland,inamansioninBeverlyHills—itwouldallbethe
sametome—aslongasyoulovedmebackandwecouldbetogetherfortherestofourlives."
Hefeltarippleofpuredelightgothroughhim."Isthatwhatyoureallywant?"heasked,searching
herdarkeyeswithhisown.
"Morethananythingelseintheworld,"sheconfessed."That'swhyIcouldn'ttellyouwhoandwhat
Ireallywas.Ilovedyousomuch,andIknewyouwouldn'twantme,.."Hervoicetrailedoff.
"Iwantyou,allright,"hesaidcurtly."Ineverstopped.Damnit,woman,Iwastryingtodowhatwas
bestforyou!"
"Byturningmeoutinthecoldandleavingmetostarvetodeathforlove?"sheaskedicily."Thanks
abunch!"
Helookedawayuncomfortably."Itwasn'tthatwayandyouknowit.Ithoughtmaybeitv/asthe
novelty.Youknow,alonelymaninthebackwoods,"hebegan.
"YouthoughtIwashavingthetimeofmylifeplayingyouforafool,"shesaid.Herheadwas
beginningtohurt,butshehadtowrapitallupbeforeshegaveinandaskedforsomemore
medication."Well,youlistentome,QuinnSutton,I'mnotthetypetogoarounddeliberatelytryingto
hurtpeople.AllIeverwantedwassomebodytocareaboutme—justme,nottheprettygirlonthe
stage."
"Yes,Iknowthatnow,"hereplied.Hebroughtherhandtohismouthandsoftlykissedthepalm.
Thelookonhisfaceweakenedher."Soyouwantaring,doyou?Itwillhavetobesomething
sensible.Noflashydiamonds,evenifIcouldgiveyousomethingyou'dneedsunglassestolookat."
"I'llsettleforthepaperbandonaKingEdwardcigarifyou'lljustmarryme,"shereplied.
"IthinkIcandoalittlebetterthanthat,"hemurmureddryly.Hebentoverher,hislipshoveringjust
abovehers."Andnolongengagement,"hewhispered.
"Ittakesthreedays,doesn'tit?"shewhisperedback."Thatisalongengagement.Getbusy!"
Hestifledalaughashebrushedhishardmouthgentlyoverherdryone."Getwell,"hewhispered.
"I'llreadsomebooksrealfast."
Shecoloredwhensherealizedwhatkindofbookshewasreferringto,andthensmiledunderhis
tenderkiss."Youdothat,"shebreathed."Oh,Quinn,getmeoutofhere!"
"Attheearliestpossibleminute,"hepromised.
ThebandshoweduplaterinthedaywhileQuinnwasoutbuyinganengagementringforAmanda.
He'dalreadycalledandlaughinglytoldElliotandHarrywhatshe'ddonetohim,andwasdelighted
withElliot'spleasureinthenewsandHarry'steasing.Hedidbuyheradiamond,evenifitwasa
moderateone,andagoldbandforeachofthem.Itgavehimthegreatestkindofthrilltoknowthathe
wasfinallymarryingforalltherightreasons.
Whenhegotbacktothehospital,therestofthesurvivorshadbeenairliftedoutandallbutoneof
themhadbeentreatedandreleased.ThenewsmediahadtriedtogettoAmanda,butthebandarrived
shortlyafterQuinnleftandraninterference.Hankgaveoutastatementandstoppedthem.Theroad
manager,asQuinnfoundout,hadgoneontoSanFranciscotomakearrangementsforcancelingthe
concert.
TheboysweregatheredaroundAmanda,who'dbeenmovedintoaniceprivateroom.Shewas
sittingupinbed,lookingmuchbetter,andherlaughingdarkeyesmetQuinn'stheminutehecamein
thedoor.
"Hankbroughtashotgun,"sheinformedhim."AndDekeandJohnsonandJackaregoingtohelpyou
downtheaisle.Jerry'sfoundaminister,andHank'salreadyarrangedabloodtestforyourightdown
thehall.Thelicense—"
"Isalreadyappliedfor,"Quinnsaidwithachuckle."Ididthatmyself.Hello,boys,"hegreeted
them,shakinghandsashewasintroducedtotherestoftheband."Andyoucanunloadtheshotgun.I'd
plannedtoholditonAmanda,ifshetriedtobackout."
"Me,backout?Heavenforbid!"sheexclaimed,smilingasQuinnbenttokissher."Where'smy
ring?"shewhisperedagainsthishardmouth."Iwantiton,sothesenurseswon'tmakeeyesatyou.
There'sthisgorgeousredhead..."
"Ican'tseepastyou,prettything,"hemurmured,hiseyessoftandquietinastill-gauntface."Here
itis."Quinnproduceditandsliditonherfinger.He'dmeasuredthesizewithasmallpieceofpaper
he'dwrappedaroundherfinger,andhehopedthatthemethodworked.Heneedn'thaveworried,
becausetheringwasaperfectfit,andsheactedasifitwerethethree-caratmonsterhe'dwantedtoget
her.Herfacelitup,likeherprettyeyes,andshebeamedassheshowedittotheband.
"Didyousleepatall?"HankaskedhimwhiletheothersgatheredaroundAmanda.
"Aboutanhour,Ithink,"Quinnmurmureddryly."You?"
"Icouldn'tevengetproperlydrunk,"Hanksaid,sighing,"sotheboysandIplayedcardsuntilwe
caughtthebus.Wesleptmostofthewayin.Itwasalongride.FromwhatIhear,"headdedwitha
levellook,"youandthatHalefellowhadanevenlongerone,bringingAmandaoutofthe
mountains."
"You'llneverknow."QuinnlookedpasthimtoAmanda,hisdarkeyesfullofrememberedpain."I
hadtodecidewhetherornottomoveher.Ithoughtitwasriskiertoleaveherthereuntilthenext
morning.Ifwe'dwaited,wehadnoguaranteethatthehelicopterwouldhavebeenabletolandeven
then.Shecouldhavedied.It'samiracleshedidn't."
"Miraclescomeinallshapesandsizes,"Hankmused,staringather."She'sbeenours.Withouther,
we'dneverhavegottenanywhere.Butbeingontheroadhaswornherout.TheboysandIwere
talkingonthewaybackaboutcuttingoutpersonalappearancesandconcentrat-ingonvideosand
albums.IthinkAmandamightlikethat.She'llhaveenoughtodofromnowon,Iimagine,takingcare
ofyouandyourboy,"headdedwithagrin."Nottomentionallthosenewbrothersandsistersyou'll
beadding.Igrewuponaranch,"hesaidsurprisingly."Ihavefivebrothers."
Quinn'seyebrowslifted."Aretheyallruntslikeyou?"heaskedwithasmile.
"I'mtherunt,"Hankcorrected.
Quinnjustshookhishead.
Amandawasreleasedfromthehospitaltwodayslater.Everyconceivabletesthadbeendone,and
fortunatelytherewerenocomplications.Thedoctorhadbeencautiouslyoptimisticatfirst,buther
recoverywasrapid—probablydue,thedoctorsaidwithasmile,toherincentive.HegaveAmanda
awayatthebriefceremony,heldinthehospital'schapeljustbeforeshewasdischarged,andoneof
thenurseswashermatronofhonor.Therewerearecordfourbestmen;theband.Butforallits
brevityandinformality,itwasaceremonythatAmandawouldneverforget.TheMethodistminister
whoperformedithadawaywithwords,andAmandaandQuinnfeltjustasmarriedasifthey'dhad
theserviceperformedinahugechurchwithalargecrowdpresent.
Theonlymishapwasthatthepressfoundoutaboutthewedding,andAmandaandQuinnandthe
bandweremobbedastheymadetheirwayoutofthehospitalafterward.Thesizeoftheband
membersmadethemkeepwellback.Hankgavethemhisbestwild-manglarewhileJackwhispered
somethingaboutthebandleaderbecominghomicidalifhewaspushedtoofar.Theyescapedintwo
separatecars.ThedriveroftheonetakingQuinnandAmandatothelodgemanagedtogetthemthere
overbackroads,sothatnobodyknewwheretheywere.
Terryhadgiventhemthebridalsuite,onthetopfloorofthelodge,andtheviewofthesnowcapped
mountainswasexquisite.Amanda,stillalittleshakyandverynervous,staredoutatthemwithmixed
feelings.
"Idon'tknowifI'lleverthinkofthemaspostcardsagain,"sheremarkedtoQuinn,whowastryingto
findplacestoputeverythingfromtheirsuitcase.He'dhadtogotoRicochetforhissuitandachange
ofclothing.
"What,themountains?"heasked,smilingather."Well,it'snotabadthingtorespectthem.But
airplanesdon'tcrashthatoften,andwhenyou'rewellenough,I'mgoingtoteachyoutoski."
Sheturnedandlookedathimforalongtime.Herweddingoutfitwasanoff-white,averysimple
shirtwaistdresswithasoftcollarandnofrills.Butwithherlonghairaroundhershouldersanddown
toherwaist,framedinthelightcomingthroughthewindow,shelookedthepictureofabride.Quinn
watchedherbackandsighed,hiseyeslingeringonthesmallsprigoflilyofthevalleyshewas
wearinginherhair—apresentfromamemberofthehospitalstaff.
"Oneofthenursesbroughtmeanewspaper,"Amandasaid."IttoldallabouthowyouandMr.Hale
gotmeout."Shehesitated."Theysaidthatonlyafewmencouldskithatparticularmountainwithout
killingthemselves."
"I'vebeenskiingitforyears,"hesaidsimply.Hetookoffthedarkjacketofhissuitandloosened
histiewithalongsigh."IknewthattheSkiPatrolwouldgetyouout,buttheyusuallyonlyworkthe
lodgeslopes—youknow,theoneswithnormalskiruns.Thepeaktheplanelandedonwasoffthe
lodgepropertyandout-of-the-way.Ithadn'tevenbeeninspected.Thereareallsortsofdangerson
slopeslikethat—fallentrees,boulders,stumps,debris,nottomentionthethreatofavalanche.TheSki
Patrolmarksdangerousrunswheretheywork.They'rethefirstoutinthemorningandthelastoffthe
slopesintheafternoon."
"Youseemtoknowalotaboutit,"Amandasaid.
"Iusedtobeoneofthem,"herepliedwithagrin."Inmyyoungerdays.It'sprettyrewarding."
"TherewasajacketHarryshowedme,"shefrowned."Arust-coloredonewithabiggoldcrossonthe
back..."
"Myoldpatroljacket."Hechuckled."Iwouldn'tpartwithitfortheworld.IfI'dthoughtofit,I'd
havewornitthatday."Hiseyesdarkenedashelookedather."ThankGodIknewthatslope,"hesaid
huskily."BecauseI'dbetmoneythatyouwouldn'thavelastedonthatmountainovernight."
"Iwasthinkingaboutyouwhentheplanewentdown,"sheconfessed."Iwasn'tsurethatI'deversee
youagain."
"NeitherwasIwhenIfinallygottoyou."Hetookoffhistieandthrewitaside.Hishandabsently
unfastenedthetopbuttonsofhiswhiteshirtashemovedtowardher."Iwastryingsohardtodothe
rightthing,"hemurmured."Ididn'tthinkIcouldgiveyouwhatyouneeded,whatyouwereusedto."
"I'musedtoyou,Mr.Sutton,"shemurmuredwithasmile.Amandaslidherarmsunderhisand
aroundhim,lookingupathimwithherwholeheartinherdarkeyes."Badtemper,irritablescowland
all.Anythingyoucan'tgiveme,Idon'twant.Willthatdo?"
Hisbroadchestroseandfellslowly."Ican'tgiveyoumuch.I'velostdamnedneareverything."
"YouhaveElliotandHarryandme,"shepointedout."Andsomefat,healthycalves,andinafew
years,Elliotwillhavealotoflittlebrothersandsisterstohelphimontheranch."
Afaintduskycolorstainedhishighcheekbones."Yes."
"Why,Mr.Sutton,honey,youaren'tshy,areyou?"shewhispereddrylyasshemovedherhands
backaroundtohisshirtandfinishedunbuttoningitdownhistanned,hair-roughenedchest.
"OfcourseI'mshy,"hemuttered,heatingupatthefeelofherslenderhandsonhisskin.Hecaught
hisbreathandshudderedwhenshekissedhimthere.Hisbighandsslidintoherlong,silkyhairand
broughtherevencloser."Ilikethat,"hebreathedroughly."Oh,God,Iloveit!"
Shedrewbackafteraminute,hereyessultry,drowsy."Wouldn'tyouliketodothattome?"she
whispered."Ilikeit,too."
Hefumbledwithbuttonsuntilhehadthedressoutofthewayandshewasstandinginnothing
exceptasatinteddy.He'dneverseenonebefore,exceptinmovies,andhestaredatherwithhisbreath
stucksomewhereinhischest.Itwassuchasexygarmentlowonherlace-coveredbreasts,nippedat
herslenderwaist,huggingherfullhips.Belowitwereherelegantsilk-cladlegs,althoughhedidn't
seeanythingholdingupherhose.
"It'sateddy,"shewhispered."Ifyouwanttoslideitdown,"sheaddedshyly,loweringhereyesto
hispulsatingchest,"Icouldstepoutofit."
Hedidn'tknowifhecoulddothatandstayonhisfeet.ThethoughtofAmandaunclothedmadehis
kneesweak.Butheslidthestrapsdownherarmsandslowly,slowly,peeleditawayfromherfirm,
hard-tippedbreasts,overherflatstomach,andthenoverthepantyhoseshewaswearing.Hecaught
themaswellandeasedthewholesilkymassdowntothefloor.
Shesteppedoutofit,somuchinlovewithhimthatallherearliershynesswasevaporating.Itwas
asnewforhimasitwasforher,andthatmadeitbeautiful.Atrueactoflove.
Shelethimlookather,fascinatedbytheaweinhishardface,intheeyesthatwentoverherlikean
artist'sbrush,capturingeveryline,everysoftcurvebeforeheeventouchedher.
"Amanda,you'rethemostbeautifulcreatureI'veeverseen,"hesaidfinally."Youlooklikea
drawingofafairyIsawinanold-timestorybook...allgoldandivory."
Shereachedupandleanedcloseagainsthim,shiveringalittlewhenherbreaststouchedhisbare
chest.Thehairwasfaintlyabrasiveandveryarousing.Shemovedinvoluntarilyandgaspedatthe
sensation.
"Doyouwanttohelpme?"hewhisperedashestrippedoffhisshirtandhishandswenttohisbelt.
"I..."Shehesitated,hernerveretreatingsuddenlyattheintimacyofit.Shegrimaced."Oh,Quinn,
I'msuchacoward!"Shehidherfaceagainsthischestandfelthislaughter.
"Well,you'renotalone,"hemurmured."I'mnotexactlyanexhibitionistmyself.Look,whydon't
yougetunderthecoversandcloseyoureyes,andwe'llpretendit'sdark."
Shelookedupathimandlaughed."Thisissilly."
"Yes,Iknow."Hesighed."Well,honey,we'remarried.Iguessit'stimetofacealltheimplications
ofsharingabed."
Hesatdown,tookoffhisbootsandsocks,stoodtounbucklehisbelt,holdinghereyes,andslidthe
zipdown.Everythingcameoff,andsecondslater,shesawforherselfallthedifferencesbetweenmen
andwomen.
"You'vegonescarlet,Mrs.Sutton,"heobserved."Youaren'tmuchwhiteryourself,Mr.Sutton,"she
replied.
Helaughedandreachedforherandshefelthimpressagainsther.Itwasincredible,thefeelofskin
againstskin,hair-roughfleshagainstsilkysoftness.Hebentandfoundhermouthandbegantokiss
herlazily,whilehisbig,roughhandssliddownherbackandaroundtoherhips.Hismouthopenedat
thesametimethathisfingerspulledherthighsagainsthis,andshefeltforthefirsttimethestark
realityofarousal.
Hefelthergaspandliftedhishead,searchingherflushedface."Thathastohappenbeforeanything
elsecan,"hewhispered."Don'tbeafraid.IthinkIknowenoughtomakeiteasyforyou."
"Iloveyou,Quinn,"shewhisperedback,forcinghertautmusclestorelax,togiveintohim.She
leanedherbodyintohiswithatinyshiverandliftedhermouth."Howeverithappensbetweenus,it
willbeallright."
Hesearchedher.eyesandnodded.Hismouthloweredtohers.Hekissedherwithexquisitetenderness
whilehishandsfoundthesoftnessofherbreasts.Minuteslater,hismouthtracedthem,coveredthe
hardtipsinawarm,moistsuctionthatdrewnewsoundsfromher.Helikedthat,soheliftedherand
putheronthebigbed,andfoundotherplacestokissherthatmadethesoundslouderandmore
tormented.
Thebookhadbeenverythoroughandquiteexplicit,soheknewwhattodointheory.Practicewas
verydifferent.Hehadn'tknownthatwomencouldlosecontrol,too.Thattheirbodiesweresosoft,or
sostrong.Thattheireyesgrewwildandtheirfacescontortedasthepleasurebuiltinthem,thatthey
weptwithit.Herpleasurebecamehisonlygoalinthelong,exquisiteoblivionthatfollowed.
Bythetimehemovedoverher,shewasmorethanreadyforhim,shewasdesperateforhim.He
whisperedtoher,gentlyguidedherbodytohisashefoughtforcontrolofhisownragingneedso
thathecouldsatisfyhersfirst.
Therewasoneinstantwhenshestiffenedandtriedtopullaway,buthestoppedthenandlooked
downintoherfrightenedeyes.
"Itwillonlyhurtforafewseconds,"hewhisperedhuskily."Linkyourhandsinmineandholdon.
I'lldoitquickly.''
"All...allright."Shefeltthestrengthinhishandsandhereyesmethis.Sheswallowed.
Hepushed,hard.Shemoanedalittle,butherbodyacceptedhiminstantlyandwithoutanyfurther
difficulty.
Hereyesbrightened.Herlipspartedandshebreathedquicklyandbegantosmile."It'sgone,"she
whispered."Quinn,I'mawomannow...."
"Mywoman,"hewhisperedback.Thedarknessgrewinhiseyes.Hebenttohermouthandcaptured
it,helditashebegantomove,hisbodydancingabovehers,teachingittherhythm.Shefollowed
whereheled,gaspingasthecadenceincreased,asthemusicbegantogrowinhermindandfiltered
throughherarmsandlegs.Sheheldontohimwiththelastofherstrength,proudofhisstamina,of
thepowerinhisbodythatwastakinghersfromrealityandintoaplaceshe'dneverdreamedexisted.
Shefeltthefirsttremorsbegin,andworkintoherlikefierypins,holdingherbodyinapainful
archasshefeltthetensionbuild.Itgrewtounbearablelevels.Herheadthrashedonthepillowandshe
wantedtopushhimaway,tomakehimstop,becauseshedidn'tthinkshecouldlivethroughwhatwas
happeningtoher.Butjustasshebegantopushhimthetensionbrokeandshefell,cryingout,intoa
hot,wildsatisfactionthatconvulsedher.Aboveher,Quinnsawithappenandfinallygaveintothe
desperatefeverofhisownneed.Hedroveforhisownsatisfactionandfeltittakehim,hisvoice
breakingonAmanda'snameashewentintothefierydepthswithher.
Afterward,hestartedtodrawaway,butherarmswentaroundhimandrefusedtoletgo.Hefelther
tearsagainsthishotthroat.
"Areyouallright?"heaskedhuskily.
"Idied,"shewhisperedbrokenly.Herarmscontracted."Don'tgoaway,pleasedon't.Idon'twantto
letyougo,"shemoaned.
Helethisbodyrelax,givingherhisfullweight."I'llcrushyou,honey,"hewhisperedinherear.
"No,youwon't."Shesighed,feelinghisbodypulsewitheveryheartbeat,feelingthedampnessof
hisskinonherown,thegloryofhisfleshtouchinghers."Thisisnice."
Helaugheddespitehisexhaustion."There'sanewwordforit,"hemurmured.Hegrowledandbit
hershouldergently."Wildcat,"hewhisperedproudly."Youbitme.Doyouremember?Youbitme
anddugyournailsintomyhipsandscreamed."
"Sodidyou,"sheaccused,flushing."I'llhavebruisesonmythighs..."
"Littleones,"heagreed.Heliftedhisheadandsearchedherdark,quieteyes."Icouldn'thelpthat,at
thelast.Ilostit.Reallylostit.AreyouassatedasIam?"hemused."IfeellikeI'vebeenwalking
aroundlikehalfapersonallmylife,andI'vejustbecomewhole."
"SodoI."Hereyessearchedhis,andsheliftedalazyhandtotracehishard,thinlips.Afterafew
seconds,sheliftedherhipswheretheywerestilljoinedtohisandwatchedhiseyeskindle.Shedrew
inashakybreathanddiditagain,delightinginthesuddenhelplessresponseofhisbody.
"That'simpossible,"hejoked."Thebooksaidso."
Amandapulledhismouthdowntohers."Damnthebook,"shesaidandheldonasheansweredher
hungerwithhisown.
Theysleptandfinallywokejustintimetogodowntodinner.Butsinceneitherofthemwantedtoface
havingtogetdressed,theyhadroomservicesendupatray.Theydrankchampagneandatethick
steaksandwentbacktobed.Eventuallytheyevenslept.
Thenextmorning,theysetoutforRicochet,holdinghandsallthewayhome.
ChapterEleven
.ElliotandHarrywerewaitingatthedoorwhenQuinnbroughtAmandahome.Therewasabig
weddingcakeonthetablethatHarryhadmade,andaspecialpresentthatElliothadmadeHarrydrive
himtotowninthesleightoget—anewDesperadoalbumwithapictureofAmandaonthecover.
"Whatapresent,"Quinnmurmured,smilingatAmandaoverthebeautifulphotograph."IguessI'll
havetolistentoitnow,won'tI?"
"IevengotHankShoeman'sautograph,"Elliot
enthused."FinallyIcantelltheguysatschool!I've
beengoingnutseversinceIrealizedwhoAmanda
was."
"Youknew?"Quinnburstout."Andyoudidn'ttellme?Sothat'swhythattapedisappeared."
"Youwerelookingforit?"Elliotechoed.
"Sure,justafterwegothomefromthelodgethatnightIdesertedAmanda,"Quinnsaidwitha
ruefulglanceather."Iwasfeelingprettylow.Ijustwantedtohearhervoice,butthetapewas
missing."
"Sorry,Dad,"Elliotsaidgently."I'llneverdoitagain,butIwasafraidyou'dtossheroutifyou
knewshewasarocksinger.She'sreallyterrific,youknow,andthatsongthatwonaGrammywas
oneofhers."
"Stop,you'llmakemeblush,"Amandagroaned.
"Icandothat,"QuinnmurmureddrylyandthelookhegaveAmandabroughtscarletcolorintoher
hotcheeks.
"Youwereinthepaper,Dad,"Elliotcontinuedexcitedly."Andonthesixo'clocknews,too!Theytold
allaboutyourskiingdaysandtheOlympicteam.Dad,whydidn'tyoukeepgoing?Theysaidyou
wereoneofthebestgiantslalomskiersthiscountryeverproduced,butthatyouquitwithaplaceon
theOlympicteaminyourpocket."
"It'salongstory,Elliot,"hereplied.
"Itwasbecauseofmymother,wasn'tit?"theboyaskedgravely.
"Well,youwereonthewayandIdidn'tfeelrightaboutdesertingheratsuchatime."
"Eventhoughshe'dbeensoterribletoyou?"heprobed.
Quinnputhishandsonhisson'sshoulders."I'lltellyouforafact,Elliot,youwereminefromthe
dayIknewaboutyourexistence.IwaitedforyoulikeakidwaitingforaChristmaspresent.Ibought
stuffandreadbooksaboutbabiesandlearnedallthethingsI'dneedtoknowtohelpyourmother
raiseyou.I'dfigured,yousee,thatshemighteventuallydecidethathavingyouwasprettyspecial.I'm
sorrythatshedidn't."
"That'sokay,"Elliotsaidwithasmile."Youdid.""YoubetIdid.Anddo."
"Sinceyoulikekidssomuch,youandAmandamighthaveafewofyourown,"Elliotdecided."I
canhelp.MeandHarrycanwashdiapersandmakeformula..."
Amandalaugheddelightedly."Oh,youdoll,you!"ShehuggedElliot."Wouldyoureallynotmind
otherkidsaround?"
"Heck,no,"Elliotsaidwithgenuinefeeling."Alltheotherguyshavelittlebrothersandsisters.Itgets
sortoflonely,beingtheonlyone."Helookedupatheradmiringly."Andthey'dbeawfulpretty,if
someofthemweregirls."
Shegrinned."Maybewe'llgetluckyandhaveanotherredhead,too.Mymotherwasredheaded.So
wasmygrandmother,itrunsinthefamily."
Elliotlikedthat,andsaidso.
"HankShoemanhasapresentforyou,bytheway,"shetoldElliot."No,there'snouselookinginthe
truck,heorderedit."
Elliot'seyeslitup."Whatisit?Anautographedphotoofthegroup?"
"It'sakeyboard,"Amandacorrectedgently,smilingathisawe."Arealone,amooglikeIplay
whenwedoinstrumental."
"Oh,mygosh!"Elliotsatdown."I'vediedandgonetoheaven.FirstIgetagreatnewmotherand
nowIgetamoog.MaybeI'mrealsickandhaveahighfever,"hefrowned,feelinghisforehead.
"No,you'reperfectlywell,"Quinntoldhim."AndIguessit'sallrightifyouplaysomerock
songs,"headdedwithagrimace."Igotusedtoturnips,afterall,thattimewhenHarryrefusedtocook
anymoregreens.IguessIcangetusedtoloudmusic."
"IrefusedtocookgreensbecausewehadablizzardandcannedturnipswasallIhad,"Harry
remindedhim,glowering."NowthatAmanda'shere,wewon'trunoutofbeansandpeasandsuch,
becauseshe'llremembertotellmewe'reoutsoIcangetsomemore."
"Ididn'tforgettoremindyou,"Quinnmuttered.
"Youdidso,"Elliotbegan."Iremember—"
"That'sit,ganguponme,"Quinngloweredatthem.
"Don'tyouworry,sweetman,I'llprotectyoufromghastlyturnipsandpeasandbeans,"shesaid
withaquickglanceatHarryandElliot."Ilikeasparagus,soI'llmakesurethat'sallwekeephere.
Don'tyouguyslikeasparagus?"
"Yes!"theychorused,havingbeentheculpritswhotoldAmandaoncethatQuinnhatedasparagus
aboveallfoodintheworld.
Quinngroaned.
"AndI'llmakeliverandonionseverynight,"Amandaadded."Welovethat,don'twe,gang?"
"Wesuredo!"theychorusedagain,becausetheyknewitwastheonlymeatQuinnwouldn'teat.
"I'llgolivewithMcNaber,"hethreatened.
Amandalaughedandslidherarmsaroundhim."Onlyifwegettocome,too."Shelookedupat
him."It'sallright.Weallreallyhateasparagusandliverandonions."
"That'safact,wedo,"Elliotreplied."Amanda,areyougoingtogoontourwiththeband?"
"No,"shesaidquietly."We'dallgottentiredofthepace.We'regoingtotakeawell-earnedrestand
concentrateonvideosandalbums."
"I'vegotthisgreatideaforavideo,"Elliotvolunteered.
Shegrinned."Okay,tiger,youcanshareitwithuswhenHankandtheotherscomeforavisit."
Hiseyeslitup."They'reallcoming?Thewholegroup?"
"MyauntismarryingMr.Burning,"shetoldhim,havingfoundoutthattidbitfromHank."They're
goingtoliveinHawaii,andthebandhaspermissiontousethecabinwhenevertheylike.They've
decidedthatifIlikethemountainssomuch,theremustbesomethingspecialaboutthem.Ournext
albumisgoingtobebuiltaroundamountaintheme."
"Wow."Elliotsighed."Wait'llItelltheguys."
"Youandtheguyscanbeinthevideo,"Amandapromised."We'llfindsomewaytofityouintoa
sceneortwo."ShestudiedHarry."We'llputHarryin,too."
"Oh,no,youwon't!"hesaid."I'llrunawayfromhomefirst."
"Ifyoudo,we'llstarvetodeath."Amandasighed."Ican'tdocakesandroasts.We'llhavetoliveon
potatoesandfriedeggs."
"ThenyoujustmakeamoviestaroutofoldElliotandI'llstickaround,"hepromised.
"Okay,"Amandasaid,"butwhatalosstowomeneverywhere.You'dhavebeensuper,Harry."
Hegrinnedandwentbacktothekitchentocook.Ellioteventuallywanderedoff,too,andQuinn
tookAmandaintothestudyandclosedthedoor.
Theysattogetherinhisbigleatherarmchair,listeningtothecracklingofthefireinthepotbellied
stove.
"Rememberthelasttimewewereinheretogether?"heaskedlazilybetweenkisses.
"Indeed,Ido,"shemurmuredwithasmileagainsthisthroat."Wealmostdidn'tstopintime."
"I'mgladwedid."Helinkedherfingerswithhis."Wehadaveryspecialfirsttime.Arealwedding
night.That'smarriagethewayitwasmeanttobe;afeastoffirsttimes."
Shetouchedhischeeklightlyandsearchedhisdarkeyes."I'mgladwewaited,too.Iwantedso
muchtogotomyhusbanduntouched.
1
justwantyoutoknowthatitwasworththewait.Iloveyou,
reallyloveyou,youknow?"Shesighedshakily."Thatmadeitmuchmorethanmyfirstintimate
experience."
Hebroughthismouthdowngentlyonhers."Ifeltjustthatwayaboutit,"hebreathedagainsther
lips."Ineveraskedifyouwantedmetouseanything...?"
"SoIwouldn'tgetpregnant?"Shesmiledgently."Ilovekids."
"SodoI."Heeasedbackandpulledhercheekontohischest,smoothingherlong,softhairashe
smileddownintohereyes."IneverdreamedI'dfindanyonelikeyou.I'dgivenuponwomen.Onlife,
too,Iguess.I'vebeenbitterandaloneforsuchalongtime,Amanda.IfeellikeIwasjustfeverishand
dreamingitall."
"Youaren'tdreaming."Shepulledhimclosertoherandkissedhimwithwarm,slowpassion.
"We'remarriedandI'mgoingtoloveyoufortherestofmylife,bodyandsoul.Sodon'tgetany
ideasabouttryingtogetaway.I'vecaughtyoufairandsquareandyou'reallmine."
Hechuckled."Really?Ifyou'vecaughtme,whatareyougoingtodowithme?"
"HaveIgotananswerforthat,"shewhisperedwithasultrysmile."Youdidlockthedoor,didn't
you?"shemurmured,hervoicehuskyassheliftedandturnedsothatshewasfacinghim,herknees
besidehimonthechair.Hisheartbegantoraceviolently.
"Yes,Ilockedthedoor.Whatareyou...Amanda!"
Shesmiledagainsthismouthwhileherhandsworkedatfastenings."That'smyname,allright,"she
whispered.Shenippedhislowerlipgentlyandlaugheddelightedlywhenshefelthimhelpingher.
"Lifeisshort.We'dbetterstartlivingitrightnow."
"1couldn'tpossiblyagreemore,"hewhisperedback,andhishuskylaughmingledwithhersinthe
tensesilenceoftheroom.
Besidethem,theburningwoodcrackledandpoppedinthestovewhilethesnowbegantofallagain
outsidethewindow.Amandahadstartedit,butalmostimmediatelyQuinntookcontrolandshegave
inwithawarmlaugh.SheknewalreadythatthingsweredoneSutton'swayaroundRicochet.Andthis
time,shedidn'treallymindatall.
*****