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E

E

n

n

d

d

i

i

n

n

g

g

s

s

I can still remember my

university days …

The next day I brought her a

w a t e rm e l o n .

What comes after six?

. . . . . . . . . .

I want to read a book … something

v e ry deep.

A blackboard .

. . . . . . . . . .

All three of them.

You idiot. Don’t you know you

can buy one for a fiver?

At the bottom.

. . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . .

N o w, class, are there any questions?

Yes. What’s the name of this course?

What about 20,000 Leagues Under

the Sea?

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© Sue Kay & Vaughan Jones, 2000. Published by Macmillan Publishers Limited. This sheet may be photocopied and used within the class.

School jokes

I N S I D E

O U T

R

e s o u rc e P a c k

P h o t o c o p i a b l e

O

O

p

p

e

e

n

n

i

i

n

n

g

g

s

s

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➧

B e f o re we begin this final exam, are

t h e re any questions?

The milkman.

➧

➧

I got an A in spelling.

Yes. They kept asking questions about
things that happened before I was born .

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➧

Who needs a dictionary ?

You fool. There isn't any A in

‘ s p e l l i n g ’ .

➧

➧

I’ll never learn how to spell.

Yes. Where do those words go when

you rub them off the blackboard ?

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What is black when clean and

white when dirt y ?

The teacher keeps changing the

w o rd s .

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➧

W h e re was the Declaration of

Independence signed?

You poor thing. Are you well now?

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➧

One day I brought an apple for the

teacher and she kissed me.

If you’ve read one you’ve read them all.

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I spent three years in college taking

m e d i c i n e .

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It took me a whole year to write

a book.

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So you flunked the history exam.

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✂

5B