BooksByDianaPalmer
ABOUTTHEAUTHOR
Donovan(12-1991)SR
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ABOUTTHEAUTHOR
GotherstartinwritingasanewspaperreporterandpublishedherfirstromancenovelforSilhouette
Booksin1982.In1993,shecelebratedthepublicationofherfiftiethnovelforSilhouetteBooks.
AffairedeCoeurlistsherasoneofthetoptenromanceauthorsinthecountry.Belovedbyfans
worldwide,DianaPalmeristhewinnerofnumerousnationalWaldenbooksRomanceBestseller
awardsandnationalB.DaltonBooksBestsellerawards.
Donovan(12-1991)SR
SilhouetteRomance843
ChapterOne
Fayfeltasifeveryeyeinthebarwasonherwhenshewalkedin.Ithadbeenpurelyanimpulse,and
shewasalreadyregrettingit.Alonefemalewalkingintoabaronthewrongsideoftowninsouth
Texaslateatnightwasaskingfortrouble.Women'slibhadn'tbeenheardofthisfarout,andseveral
pairsofmaleeyesweretellingherso.
Shecouldonlyimaginehowshelookedinhertightdesignerjeans,herfeetencasedinsilkhoseand
highheels,asoftyellowknitsweatershowingthefaintswellofherhighbreasts.Herlongdarkhair
wasaroundhershouldersinsoftswirls,andhergreeneyesdartednervouslyfromonesideofthe
small,smoke-filledroomtotheother.Therewasajukeboxplayingsoloudthatshehadtoyelltotell
thebartendershewantedabeer.Thatwasajoke,too,becauseinallhertwentyyears,she'dneverhad
abeer.Whitewine,yes.EvenapinacoladadowninJamaica.Butneverabeer.
Defiancewasbecomingexpensive,shethought,watchingaburlymanseparatehimselffromhis
companionswithamumbledremarkthatmadethemlaugh.
Heperchedhimselfbesideheratthebar,hisnarroweyesgivingheranappraisalthatmadeherwant
torun."Hello,prettything,"hesaid,'grinningthroughhisbeard."Wantadance?"
Shecuppedherhandsaroundthebeermugtostopthemfromshaking."No,thankyou,"shesaidin
hersoft,culturedvoice,keepinghereyesdown."I'm...waitingforsomeone."
Thatwasalmosttrue.She'dbeenwaitingforsomeoneallherlife,buthehadn'tshownupyet.She
neededhimnow.Shewaslivingwithamercenary,social-climbingrelativewhowasdoinghisbestto
sellhertoarichfriendwitheyesthatmadeherskincrawl.Allhermoneywastiedupintrust,andshe
wasstuckwithhermother'sbrother.Rescuewascertainlyuppermostinhermind,butthisrowdy
cowboywasn'therideaofawhiteknight.
"Youandmecouldhaveagoodtime,honey,"heradmirercontinued,unabashed.Hesmoothedher
sweater-cladarmandshewithdrewasifhisfingersweresnakes."Now,don'tstartbackingaway,
sweetthing!Iknowhowtotreatalady."
Noonenoticedthedarkfaceinthecornersuddenlylift,orsawthedangerousglitterinsilvereyes
thatdominatedit.Noonenoticedthelookhegavethegirl,orthecolderonethathegaveher
companionbeforehegotgracefullytohisfeetandmovedtowardthebar.
Heworejeans,too.NotlikeFay's,becausehiswereworkingjeans.Theywerefadedandstainedfrom
work,andhisbootswereahowlingthumbednoseatcitycowboys'elegantfootwear.Hishatwas
blackerthanhisthick,unrulyhair,alittlecrumpledhereandthere.Hewastall.Verytall.Leanand
muscularandquitewell-knownlocally.Histemper,infact,wasaslegendaryasthebigfistsnow
curledwithdeceptivelaxnessathissidesashewalked.
"You'dlikemeifyoujustgottoknowme—"Thepudgycowboybrokeoffwhenthenewcomercame
intohislineofvision.Hebecamealmostcomicallystill,hisheadslightlycocked."Why,hello,
Donavan,"hebeganuneasily."Ididn'tknowshewaswithyou."
"Nowyoudo,"herepliedinadeep,gravellyvoicethatsentchillsdownFay'sspine.
Sheturnedherheadandlookedintodiamond-glintedeyes,andlostherheartforever.Shecouldn't
seemtobreathe.
"It'sabouttimeyoushowedup,"hetoldFay.Hetookherarm,easedherdownfromthebarstoolwith
agripthatwasfirmandexciting.Hehandedherbeermugtoher,andwithalastcuttingglareatthe
otherman,heescortedherbacktohistable.
"Thankyou,"shestammeredwhenshewassittingbesidehim.He'dleftacigarettesmokinginthe
dentedmetalashtray,andahalf-touchedglassofwhiskey.Hedidn'ttakeoffhishatwhenhesatdown.
She'dnoticedthatWesternmenseemedtohavelittleuseforthecourtesiesshe'dtakenforgranted
backhome.
Hepickeduphiscigaretteandtookalongdrawfromit.Hisnailswereflatandclean,despitetraces
ofgreasethatclungtohislong-fingered,darkhands.Theywerebeautifulmasculinehands,withno
jewelryadorningthem.Workinghands,shethoughtidly.
"Whoareyou?"heaskedsuddenly.
“I’mFay,"shetoldhim.Sheforcedasmile."Andyou...?"
"MostpeoplejustcallmeDonavan."
Shetookasipofbeerandgrimaced.Ittastedterrible.Shestaredatitwithanexpressionthatbrought
afaintsmiletotheman'shard,thinmouth.
"Youdon'tdrinkbeer,andyoudon'tbelonginabar.Whatareyoudoingonthissideoftown,
debutante?"hedrawled.
"I'mrunningawayfromhome,"shesaidwithalaugh."Escapingmyjailers.Havinganightonthe
town.Rebelling.Takeyourpick."
"Areyouoldenoughtodothat?"heaskedpointedly.
"Ifyoumean,amIoldenoughtoorderabeerinabar,yes.I'mtwomonthsshyoftwenty-one."
"Youdon'tlookit."
Shestudiedhishard,suntannedfaceandhisunrulyhair.Withalittletrimmingupandproper
dressing,hemightberatherdevastating."Areyoufromaroundhere?"sheasked.
"Allmylife,"heagreed.
"Doyou...work?"
"Child,inthispartofTexas,everybodyworks."
Hescowled."Mosteverybody,"heamended,lettinghiseyeslingerpointedlyonherdiamondtennis
bracelet."Wearingthatintoacountrybarisaskingfortrouble.Pullyoursleevedown."
Shedid,obeyinghiminstantlywhenshewasknownforignoringanythingthatsoundedlikea
commandathome.Sheflushedatherinstantdeference.Maybeshewasdrunkalready.Sure,she
mused,ontwosipsofbeer.
"Whatdoyoudowhenyouaren'tgivingorders?"shetaunted.
Hesearchedhergreeneyes."I'maranchforeman,"hesaid."Igiveordersforaliving."
"Oh.You'reacowboy."
"That'sonenameforit."
Shesmiledagain."I'venevermetarealcowboybefore."
"Youaren'tfromhere."
Sheshookherhead."Georgia.Myparentswerekilledinaplanecrash,soIwassentoutheretolive
withmyuncle."Shewhistledsoftly."Youcan'timaginewhatit'slike."
"Getout,"hesaidsimply."Peopleliveinprisonsoutofchoice.Youcanalwayswalkawayfroma
situationyoudon'tcarefor."
"Wanttobet?I'mrich,"shesaidcurtly."Filthyrich.Butit'salltiedupinatrustthatIcan'ttouchuntil
I'mtwenty-one,andmyuncleishopingtomarrymeofftoabusinessassociateintimetogethis
handsonsomeofit."
"Areyouforreal?"heasked.Hepickedupthewhiskeyglassandtookasip,puttingtheglassdown
withasharpmovementofhishand."Tellhimtogotohellanddowhatyouplease.AtyourageIwas
workingformyself,notforanyrelatives."
"You'reaman,"shepointedout.
"Whatdifferencedoesthatmake?"heasked."Haven'tyoueverheardofwomen'slib?"
Shesmiled.Atleastonepersoninthebarhadheardofwomen'slib."I'mnotthatkindofwoman.I'm
wimpy."
"Listen,lady,nowimpygirlwalksintoaplacelikethisinthemiddleofthenightandordersabeer."
Shelaughed,hergreeneyesbrilliant."Yes,shedoes,whenshe'sdriventoit.Besides,itwassafe,
wasn'tit?Youwerehere."
Heliftedhischinandadifferentlightcameintothepale,silveryeyes."AndyouthinkI'msafe,"he
murmured."Or,moreprecisely,thatyou'resafewithme?"
Herheartbegantothudagainstherribs.Thatwasaveryadultlookinhiseyes,andshenoticedthe
correspondingdropofhisvoiceintoasilky,softpurr.Herlipspartedassheletoutthebreathshe
washolding.
"IhopeIam,"shesaidafteraminute."BecauseI'vedoneastupidthingandeventhoughImight
deserveahardtime,I'mhopingyouwon'tgivemeone."
Hesmiled,andthistimeitwaswithoutmockery."Goodgirl.You'relearning."
"Isitalesson?"sheasked.
Hedrainedthewhiskeyglass."Lifeisalllessons.
Theonesyoudon'tlearnrightoffthebat,youhavetorepeat.Getup.I'lldriveyouhome."
"Mustyou?"sheasked,sighing."It'sthefirstadventureI'veeverhad,anditmaybethelast."
Hecockedhishatoveroneeyeandlookeddownather."Inthatcase,I'lldomybesttomakeit
memorable,"hemurmureddryly.Heheldoutalean,stronghandandpulledherupwhenshetookit.
"Areyougame?"
Shewasfeelingherwaywithhim,butoddly,shetrustedhim.Shesmiled."I'mgame."
Henodded.Hetookherarmandguidedheroutthedoor.Shenoticedafewlooksthatcametheirway,
butnoonetriedtodistracthim.
"Peopleseemtoknowyouinthere,"sheremarkedwhentheywereoutsideinthecoolnightair.
"Theyknowme,"hereturned."I'vetreedthatbaratimeortwo."
"Treedit?"
Heglanceddownather."Brokenitupinabrawl.Mengetintotrouble,younglady,andwomenaren't
alwayshandytogetthemoutofit."
"I'mnotreallyhandy,"shesaidhesitantly.
Hechuckled."Honey,whatyouareiswrittenalloveryouingreenink.Idon'tmindalittleadventure,
butthat'sallyou'llgetfromme."Hissilveryeyesnarrowed."Ifyoustayaroundherelongenough,
you'lllearnthatIdon'tlikerichwomen,andyou'lllearnwhy.Butfortonight,I'minagenerous
mood."
"Idon'tunderstand,"shesaid.
Helaughedwithouthumor."Idon'tsupposeyoudo."Heeyedherintently."Youaren'tsafetobelet
out."
"That'swhateverybodykeepssaying."Shesmiledwithwhatshehopedwassophistication."Buthow
willIlearnanythingaboutlifeifI'mkeptinaglassbowl?"
Hiseyesnarrowed."Maybeyou'vegotaheadstartalready."Hetuggedheralongtoaraunchygray
pickuptruckwithdentsalloverit."Ihopeyouweren'texpectingaRolls-Royce,debutante.Icould
hardlyhaulcattleinone."
Shefeltterrible.Sheactuallywincedasshelookedupathim,andhefeltatwingeofguiltatthedry
remarkthatwasmeanttobefunny.
"Oh,Idon'tcarewhatyoudrive,"shesaidhonestly."Youcouldberidingahorse,anditwouldn't
matter.Idon'tjudgepeoplebywhattheyhave."
Hispaleeyesslidoverherfacelightly."IthinkIknewthatalready,"hesaidquietly."I'msorry.I
meantitasajoke.Here.Don'tcutyourselfonthatspring.ItpoppedoutandIhaven'thadtimetofix
it."
"Okay."Shebouncedintothecabandheclosedthedoor.Itsmelledofthewholeoutdoors,andwhen
hegotin,itsmelledofleatherandsmoke.Heglancedatherandsmiled.
Hestartedthetruckandglancedather."Didyoudrivehere?"heasked.
"Yes."
Hepausedtolookaroundtheparkinglot,pursinghislipswithfaintamusementwhenhesawthe
regalblueMercedes-Benzsittingamongthedentedpickuptrucksanddustyfour-wheel-drive
vehicles.
"That'sright,youdon'tneedtoaskwhatIdroveherein,"shemutteredself-consciously."Andyes,it's
mine."
Hechuckled."Bristlingalready,andwe'veonlyjustmet,"hemurmuredashepulledoutintotheroad.
"Whatdoyoudowhenyouaren'ttryingtopickupstrangemeninbars?"
Sheglaredathim."Istudypiano,paintalittle,andgenerallytrytostaysanethroughendlessdinner
partiesandmorningcoffees."
Hewhistledthroughhisteeth."Somelife."
Sheturnedintheseat,likingthestrengthofhisprofile."Whatdoyoudo?"
"Chasecattle,mostly.Figurepercentages,decidewhichcattletocull,hireandfirecowboys,goto
conferences,makefinancialdecisions."Heglancedather."OccasionallyIsitontheboardof
directorsoftwocorporations.''
Shefrownedslightly."Ithoughtyousaidyouwereaforeman."
"There'salittlemoretoitthanthat,"hesaidcomfortably."Youdon'tneedtoknowtherest.Wheredo
youwanttogo?"
Shehadtoreadjustherthinkingfromtheabruptstatement.Sheglancedoutthedarkwindowattheflat
southTexaslandscape."Well...Idon'tknow.Ijustdon'twanttogohome."
"They'rehavingafiestadowninSanMoreno,"hesaidwithanamusedglance."Everbeentoone?"
"No!"Hereyesbrightened."Couldwe?"
"Idon'tseewhynot.Thereisn'tmuchtodoexceptdance,though,anddrinkbeer.Doyoudance?"
"Oh,yes.Doyou?"
Hechuckled."Icanwhenforcedintoit.Butyoumayhavetroublewiththebeerpart."
"Ilearnedtolikecaviar,"shesaid."MaybeIcanlearntolikebeer."
Hedidn'tcomment.Heturnedontheradioandcountry-westernmusicfilledthecab.Sheleanedher
headbackontheseatandsmiledassheclosedhereyes.Incredible,shethought,howmuchshetrusted
thismanwhenshe'donlyjustmethim.Shefeltasthoughshe'dknownhimforyears.
Thefeelingcontinuedwhentheygottothesmall,dustytownofSanMoreno.Abandofmariachis
wasplayingloud,livelyMexicanmusicwhilepeopledancedintheroped-offmainsquare.Vendors
soldeverythingfrombeertotequilaandchimichangasandtacos.Themusicwasloud,thebeerwas
hot,butnobodyseemedtomind.MostofthepeoplewereMexican-American,althoughFaynoticeda
fewcowboysamongthecelebrants.
"Whatarewecelebrating?"FayaskedbreathlesslyasDonavanswungheraroundandaroundtothe
quickbeatofthemusic.
"Whocares?"Hechuckled.
Sheshookherhead.Inallherlife,shecouldn'trememberbeingsohappyorfeelingsocarefree.If
shediedtomorrow,itwouldbeworthit,becauseshehadtonighttoremember.Soshedrankwarm
beerthattastedbetterwitheachsip,andshedancedinDonavan'slean,strongarms,andrestedagainst
hismuscularchest,andbreathedinthescentofhimuntilshewasmoredrunkonthemanthanthe
liquor.
Finallythefranticpacedieddownandtherewasaslowtwo-step.ShemeltedintoDonavan,sliding
herarmsaroundhimwiththekindoffamiliaritythatusuallycamefromweeksoftogetherness.She
seemedtofitagainsthim,likeasoftglove.Hesmelledoftobaccoandbeerandthewholeoutdoors,
andthefeelofhisbodysoclosetoherswasdelightfullyexciting.Hisarmsenfoldedher,bothof
themwrappedclosearoundher,andforafewminutestherewasnobodyelseintheworld.Sheheard
themusicasifthroughafogofpurepleasure,herbodyreactingtotheclosenessofhisinawayit
hadneverreactedbefore.Shefeltatensionthatwasdisturbing,andakindofthrobbingacheinher
lowerbodythatshe'dneverexperienced.Beingclosetohimwasbecomingintolerable.Shecaught
herbreathandpulledawayalittle,raisingeyesfullofcuriousapprehensiontohis.
Hesearchedherfacequietly,awareofherfearandequallyawareofthecauseofit.Hesmiledgently.
"It'sallright,"hesaidquietly.
Shefrowned."I...Idon'tquiteunderstandwhat'swrongwithme,"shewhispered."Maybethebeer..."
"There'snoneedtopretend.Notwithme."Heframedherfaceinhisleanhandsandbent,pressinga
tenderkissagainstherforehead."We'dbettergo."
"Mustwe?"shesighed.
Henodded."It'slate."Hecaughtherhandinhisandtuggedheralongtothetruck.Hewasfeeling
somethingofthesamerecklessexcitementshewas,exceptthathewasolderandmoreadeptat
controllingit.Heknewthatshe'dwantedhimwhiletheyweredancing,butthingsweregettingahead
ofhim.Hedidn'tneedarichsocietygirlinhislife.Godknew,onehadbeentheruinofhisfamily.
PeoplearoundJacobsville,Texas,stillrememberedhowhisfatherhadgonepell-mellafteralocal
debutantewithoutanyscruplesabouthowheforcedhertomanyhim,rightontheheelsofhiswife's
funeral,too.Donavanhadturnedbittertryingtolivedownthefamilyscandal.MissHighSocietyhere
wouldfinditouteventually.Betternottostartsomethinghecouldn'tfinish,evenifshedidcausean
inconvenientacheinhisbody.Nodoubtshe'dhadhalfadozenmen,butshemightbeaddictive—and
hecouldn'triskfindingoutshewas.
Shewaspleasantlyrelaxedwhentheygotbacktothedesertedbarwhereshe'dleftherMercedes.The
spellhadwornoffalittle,andherheadhadcleared.Butwiththatreturntorealitycamethe
unpleasantnessofhavingtogohomeandfacethemusic.Shehadn'ttoldanyonewhereshewasgoing,
andtheyweregoingtobeangry.Reallyangry.
"Thankyou,"shesaidsimply,turningtoDonavanaftersheunlockedhercar."Itwasamagicalnight."
"Forme,too."Heopenedthedoorforher."Stayoutofmypartoftown,debutante,"hesaidgently.
"Youdon'tbelonghere."
Hergreeneyessearchedhisgrayones."Ihatemylife,"shesaid.
"Changeit,"hereplied."Youcanifyouwantto."
"I'mnotusedtofighting."
"Getusedtoit.Lifedoesn'tgive,ittakes.Anythingworthhavingisworthfightingfor."
"Sotheysay."Shetoyedwithhercarkeys."Butinmyworld,thefightinggetsdirty."
"Itdoesinmine,too.Thatneverstoppedme.Don'tletitstopyou."
Sheloweredhereyestothehardchestthathadpillowedherheadwhiletheydanced."Iwon'tforget
you."
"Don'tgetanyideas,"hemurmureddryly,flickingalongstrandofhairawayfromherface."I'mnot
lookingforcomplicationsorties.Notever.Yourworldandminewouldn'tmix.Don'tgolookingfor
trouble."
"Youjusttoldmeto,"shepointedout,liftingherfacetohis.
"Notinmydirection,"heemphasized.Hesmiledather.Theactionmadehimlookyounger,less
formidable."Gohome."
Shesighed."IguessIshould.Youwouldn'tliketokissmegood-night,Iguess?"sheaddedwithlifted
eyebrows.
"Iwould,"hereplied."WhichiswhyI'mnotgoingto.Getinthecar."
"Men,"shemuttered.Sheglaredathim,butshegotintothecarandclosedthedoor.
"Drivecarefully,"hesaid."Andwearyourseatbelt."
Shefastenedit,butnotbecauseofhisorder—sheusuallyworeaseatbelt.Shesparedhimonelong,
lastlookbeforeshestartedthecarandpulledaway.Whenshedroveontothemainhighway,hewas
alreadydrivingoffintheotherdirection,andwithoutlookingback.Shefeltasenseoflossthat
shockedher,asifshe'dgivenuppartofherself.Maybeshehad.Shecouldn'tremembereverfeeling
soclosetoanotherhumanbeing.
Herfatherandmotherhadneverbeenreallyclosetoher.They'dhadtheirownindependentlives,and
theyalmostneverincludedherinanyoftheiractivities.She'dgrownupwithhousekeepersand
governessesforcompanionship,andwithnobrothersorsistersforcompany.Fromlonelychildto
lonelywoman,she'dgonethroughthemotionsofliving.Butshe'dneverfeltthatanyonewouldreally
mindifshedied.
Thathadn'tchangedwhenshe'dcomeouttoJacobsville,Texas,tolivewithhermother'sbrother,
UncleHenryRollins.Hewasn'twell-to-do,buthewantedtobe.Hewasn'taboveusinghiscontrol
overFay'sestatetoprovidethemeanstoentertain.Fayhadn'tprotested,butshe'djustrealizedtonight
howlaxshe'dbeeninlookingoutforherowninterests.UncleHenryhadinvitedhisbusinesspartner
tosupperandhadn'ttoldFayuntilthelastminute.ShewastiredofhavingSeanthrownather,and
she'drebelled,runningoutthedoortohercar.
Ithadbeenalmostcomical,bowleggedUncleHenryrushingafterher,huffingandpuffingashetried
tomatchhisbulktoherslenderswiftnessandlost.Shehadn'tknownwhereshewasgoing,butshe'd
woundupatthebar.Fatehadsentherthere,perhaps,toamanwhomadeherseewhatadocilechild
she'dbecome,whenshewasanindependentwoman.Well,thingsweregoingtochange.Startingnow.
Donavanhadfascinatedher.Shetingled,justrememberinghowhehadn'tevenhadtoliftahandinthe
bartomakethemanwho'dbeenworryingherbackdown.Hewasthestuffofwhichromantic
fantasiesweremade.Buthedidn'tlikerichwomen.
Itwouldbenice,shethought,ifDonavanhadfallenmadlyinlovewithherandstartedsearchingfor
her.Thatwouldbeimprobable,though,sincehedidn'thaveaclueastoherrealidentity.Shedidn't
knowhis,either,cometothinkofit;allsheknewwaswhathedidforaliving.Buthecouldhavebeen
stretchingthetruthalittle.Hehadn'tsoundedquiteforcefulwhenhe'dsaidhewasaforeman.
Well,itdidn'treallymatter,shethoughtsadly.She'dneverseehimagain.Butithadbeenamemorable
meetingaltogether,andsheknewshe'dneverforgethim.Notever.
ChapterTwo
Thefeedlotofficewasquiet,andFayYorkwasgratefulfortherespite.Ithadbeenahectictwoweeks
sinceshestartedthis,herfirstjob.Shewasstillfaintlyamazedatherowncourageandgrit,because
she'dneverthoughtshe'dbeabletoactuallydoitShe'dsurprisedherUncleHenryasmuchasherself
whenshe'dannouncedherplanstogetajobandbecomeindependentuntilherinheritancecame
through.
IthadbeenbecauseofDonavanthatshe'ddoneit.Hereveningwithhimhadchangedherlife.He'd
madeitpossibleforhertobelieveinherself.He'dgivenherakindofself-confidencethatshehadn't
thoughtpossible.
Butithadn'tbeeneasy,andshe'dbeenscaredtodeaththemorningshe'dwalkedintotheofficeofthe
giganticBallengerfeedlottoaskforajob.
BarryHolman,thelocalattorneywhowastohandleherinheritance,hadsuggestedthatsheseeJustin
Ballengeraboutwork,becausehissecretarywasouthavingababyandCalhounBallenger'swife,
Abby,hadbeenreluctantlyfillingin.
Shecouldstillrememberhershockwhenshe'dgonetoMr.Holmantoaskforalivingallowance
untilherinheritancecamethrough,somethingthatwouldgiveheralittleindependencefromher
overbearinguncle.
Thatwaswhentheblowfell."I'msorry,"Holmansaid."Butthere'snoprovisionforanyliving
allowance.Accordingtothetermsofthewill,youcan'tinherituntilyou'retwenty-one.Untilthattime,
theexecutorofyourparents'estatehastotalcontrolofyourmoney."
Shegasped."YoumeanIdon'thaveanymoneyunlessUncleHenrygivesittome?"
"I'mafraidso,"hesaid."Irealizeitprobablyseemsterriblyunfairtoyou,Fay,butyourparentsmust
havethoughttheyweredoingtherightthing."
"Ican'tbelieveit,"shesaid,feelingsick.Shewrappedherarmsaroundherbody."WhatwillIdo?"
"Whatyouoriginallyplanned.Goaheadandgetajob.You'llonlyneeditforacoupleofweeks,until
yougetyourinheritance."
Thestatementhelpedherfightoutofhermisery.Involuntarily,shesmiled,likingtheblondattorney.
Hewasinhisearlythirties,verygood-lookingandsuccessful.Hewasmarried,becauseonhisdesk
wasaphotographofayoungwomanwithlong,brownhairholdingababy.
“Thankyou,"shesaid.
"Oh,it'smypleasure.Don'tworry,youwon'tevenhavetolookfarforajob.Ijusthappentoknowof
anopening.Knowanythingaboutcattle?"
Shehesitated."Notreally."
"Doyoumindworkingaroundthem?"
"NotifIdon'thavetobrandthem,"shemurmureddryly.
Helaughed."Itwon'tcometothat.TheBallengerbrothersarelookingforatemporarysecretary.
Theirfull-timeonewaspregnantandjusthadacomplicateddelivery.She'llbeoutabouttwomonths
andthey'relookingforsomeonetofillin.CalhounBal-lenger'swifehasbeentryingtohandleit,but
you'dbeagodsendrightnow.Canyoutype?"
"Oh,yes,"shesaid."Icanhandleacomputer,too.Itookseveralcollegecoursesbeforemyparents
diedandIhadtocomeoutheretocomplywiththetermsoftheirwill."
"Good!"
"Butsurelythey'vefoundsomeone..."
"Therearen'tthatmanypeopleavailableforpart-timework,"hesaid."Mostlyhigh-schoolstudents,
andtheydon'tliketheenvironmentthatgoeswiththejob."
Shegrinned."Iwon'tcare,aslongasImakeenoughtopaymyrent."
"Youwill.Here."Hescribbledanaddress."GoandseeJustinorCalhoun.TellthemIsentyou.Trust
me,"headded,risingtoshakehandswithher."You'lllikethem."
"Ihopeso.Isuredon'tlikemyunclemuchatthemoment."
Henodded."Icanunderstandthat.ButHenryisn'tabadman,youknow.Andtherecouldbemoreto
thisthanmeetstheeye,"headdedreluctantly.
Thatstatementgavehercoldchills.ThewayUncleHenryhadbeenthrowingherheadlongatarich
bachelorfriendofhismadeheruneasy."Isupposeso."Shehesitated."Doyouknowjusthowmy
uncle'sbeenmanagingmyaffairsinthepasttwomonths?"
"Notyet,"BarryHolmanreplied."I'veaskedforanaccounting,buthe'srefusedtoturnoverany
documentstomeuntilthedayyouturntwenty-one."
"Thatdoesn'tsoundpromising,"shesaidnervously."Iunderstoodmyfathertosayhehadatleasttwo
milliondollarstiedupintrustforme.SurelyUncleHenrycouldn'thavegonethroughthatinafew
weeks,couldhe?"
"Ihardlythinkso,"heassuredher."Don'tworry.Everythingwillbeallright.Goandseethe
Ballengers.Goodluck."
"IthinkI'llneedit,butthanksforyourhelp,"shesaidasshelefttheoffice.
TheBallengerfeedlotwasamammothoperation.Duringtheshorttimeshe'dbeeninJacobsville,Fay
hadnevergottenagoodlookatit.Now,upclose,thesheerenormityofitwasstaggering.Sowasthe
relativecleanlinessoftheoperationandtheattentiontosanitation.
ItwasJustinBallengerwhointerviewedher.Hewastallandrangy,notatallhandsome,butkindand
courteous.
“Youunderstandthatthiswouldonlybeatemporaryjob?"heemphasized,leaningforward."Our
secretary,Nita,isonlygoingtobeoutlongenoughtorecuperatefromherC-sectionandhaveafew
weekswiththeirnewbaby."
"Yes,Mr.Holmantoldmeaboutthat,"Faysaid."Idon'tmind.IonlyneedsomethingtemporaryuntilI
getusedtobeingonmyown.Iwaslivingwithmyunclebutthesituationwasprettyuncomfortable."
Withoutmeaningto,shewentontoexplainwhathadhappened,findinginJustinasympathetic
listener.
Justin'sdarkeyesnarrowed."Youruncleisamercenaryman.Ithinkyoudidtherightthing.Make
sureBarrykeepsaclosewatchonyourholdings."
"He'sdoingthat."Shegnawedherlowerlipworriedly.“Youwon'tmentionittoanyone...?"
"It'snobody'sbusinessbutyours,"heagreed.“Asfarasweknow,you'restrictlyaworkinggirlwho
hadaminordisagreementwithherkin.Fairenough?"
"Yes,sir,"shesaid,smiling."I'mnotreallymuchmorethanaworkinggirl,sinceeverythingistied
upintrust.Butonlyforafewmoreweeks."Shesmiled."Moneydoesn'treallymeanthatmuchtome.
HonestlyI'drathermarrysomeonewholovedmethansomeonewhojustwantedaneasylife."
“You'reawisegirl,"herepliedquietly."ShelbyandIbothfeltlikethat.We'renotpoor,butitwouldn't
matterifwewere.Wehaveeachother,andourboys.We'reverylucky."
Shesmiled,becauseshe'dheardaboutShelbyBal-lengerandthecircumstancesthathadfinallyledto
hermarriagetoJustin.Itwasareallovestory."MaybeI'llgetluckylikethatoneday,"shesaid,
thinkingaboutDonavan.
"Well,ifyouwantthejobunderthoseconditions,it'syours,"hesaidafteraminute."Welcome
aboard.ComeonandI'llintroduceyoutomybrother."
Heprecededherdownthehall,whereatallblondmanwasporingoverfiguresonsheetsofpaper
scatteredalloverhisdesk.
"ThisisFayYork,"hesaid,introducingher."Fay,mybrother,Calhoun."
"Nicetomeetyou,"shesaidsincerely,andshookhands."IhopeIcanhelpyoukeepthingsinorder
whileNita'saway."
"Abbywillgetdownandkissyourshoes,"Calhounassuredher."She'sbeentryingtokeeponeofour
boysinschoolandtheothertwoindaycareandtakecareofthehousewhilesheworkedinNita's
placethisweek.She'salreadythreatenedtoopenallthegatesifwedidn'tdosomethingtohelpher."
"I'mgladIneededajob,then,"shesaid.
"Soarewe."
Abbycamebarrelinginwithanarmloadoffiles,herblackhairaskewaroundherface,herblue-gray
eyeswideandcuriouswhentheymetFay'sgreenones.
"Pleasebemyreplacement,"shesaidwithsuchfervorthatFaylaughedhelplessly."Doyoutake
bribes?Icangetyourealchocolatetrufflesandmochaicecream..."
"Noneed.I'vealreadyacceptedthejobwhileNitaisoutwithherbaby,"Fayassuredtheotherwoman.
"Oh,thankGod!"shesighed,droppingthefilesonherhusband'sdesk.ShegrinnedatCalhoun.
"Thankyou,too,darling.I'llmakeyouabigbeefstewfordinner,withhomemaderolls.".
"Don'tjuststandthere,gohome!"heburstout.HegrinnedsheepishlyatFay."Shemakesthebestrolls
intown.I'vebeeneatinghotdogsforsomanydaysthatIbark,becauseit'sallIcancook!Thishas
beenhardonmystomach."
"Andonmystamina."Abbylaughed."Theboyshavemissedme.Well,I'llshowyouwhattodo,Fay,
thenI'llrushrighthomeandstartdoughrising."
FayfollowedherbacktothedeskoutfrontandlistenedcarefullyandmadenoteswhileAbbybriefed
herontheroutineandshowedherhowtofillintheforms.Shewentoverthebasicsoffeedlot
operationaswell,sothatFaywouldunderstandwhatshewasdoing.
"Youmakeitsoundveryeasy,butitisn't,isit?"
"No,"Abbyagreed."Especiallywhenyoudealwithsomeofourclients.J.D.Langleyaloneisenough
tomakeasaintthrowinthetowel."
"Ishearancher?"
"He'sa..."Abbyclearedherthroat."Yes,he'sarancher.Butmostofthecattlehedealsinareother
people's.He'sgeneralmanageroftheMesaBlancoranchcombine."
"Idon'tknowmuchaboutranching,butI'veheardofthem."
"Mosteverybodyhas.J.D.'sgoodathisjob,don'tgetmewrong,buthe'saperfectionistwhenitcomes
todietandhandlingofcattle.Hesawoneofthemenuseacattleprodonsomeofhisstockonceand
hejumpedtheman,rightoverarail.Wecan'taffordtoturndownhisbusiness,buthemakesthings
difficult.You'llfindthatoutforyourself.NobodycrossesJ.D.aroundJacobsville."
"Isherich?"
"No.HehasplentyofpowerbecauseofthejobhedoesforMesaBlanco,butit'shistemperamentthat
makespeoplejumpwhenhespeaks.J.D.wouldbearrogantinrags.He'sjustthatkindofman."
Abby'sdescriptionbroughttomindanotherman,arangycowboywho'dgivenherthemostmagical
eveningofherlife.Shesmiledsadly,thinkingthatshe'dprobablyneverseehimagain.Walkinginto
thatbarhadbeenanactofdesperationandbravado.She'dneverhavethenervetodoittwice.Itwould
lookasifshewerechasinghim,andhe'dsaidatthetimethattherewasnofutureinit.She'ddrivenby
thebartwoorthreetimes,butshecouldn'tmanageenoughcouragetogoinagain.
"IsMr.Langleymarried?"Fayasked
"There'snowomanbraveenough,anywhere,"Abbysaidshortly."Hisfather'smarriagesouredhim
onwomen.He'sbeensomethingofaplayboyinpastyears,buthe'ssettledsomewhatsincehe'sbeen
managingtheMesaBlancocompanies.There'sanewpresidentofthecompanywho'sahard-line
conservative,soJLD.'stoneddownhisplayboyimage.There'stalkofthepresidentgivingthatjobto
amanwho'smarriedandsettledandhaskids.TheonlychildinJ.D.'slife,ever,isanephewin
Houston,hissister'schild.Hissisterdied."Sheshookherhead."Ican'treallyimagineJ.D.witha
child.Heisn'tthefatherlytype."
"Ishereallythatbad?"
Abbynodded."Hewasalwaysdifficult.Buthisfather'sremarriage,andthenhisdeath,leftscars.
Thesedays,he'sadangerousmantobearound,evenforothermen.Calhounleavestheofficewhen
he'sduetocheckonhisstock.Justinseemstolikehim,butCalhounalmostcametoblowswithhim
once."
"Ishehereveryoften?"Fayaskedwithobviousreluctance.
"Everyotherweek,likeclockwork."
"ThenI'mverygladIwon'tbearoundlong,"shesaidwithfeeling.
Abbylaughed."Nottoworry.He'llbarelynoticeyou.It'sCalhounandJustinwhogettherange
language."
"Ifeelbetteralready,"shesaid.
Herfirstdaywastiring,butbytheendofitsheknewhowmanyrecordshadtobecompiledeachday
ontheindividuallotsofcattle.Shelearnedvolumesaboutweightgainratios,feedsupplements,
veterinaryservices,dailychoresandformfiling.Ifitsoundedsimplejusttofeedcattle,itwasn't.
Therewerehundredsofdetailstobeattendedto,andprintoutsofdailyaveragestobecompiledfor
clients.
Asthedayswentbyandshefellintotheroutineofthejob,Faycouldn'thelpbutwonderifDonavan
evercamehere.Hewasforemanforaranch,he'dtoldher.Ifthatranchhadfeedercattle,thiswas
probablywherethey'dbebrought.Butfromwhatshe'dlearned,itwassubordinateswhodealtwiththe
logisticsofthetransportingoffeedercattle,notthebosses.
Shewantedbadlytoseehim,totellhimhowbiganimpacthe'dhadonherlifewithhispeptalkthat
nightshe'dgonetothebar.Herhorizonshadenlarged,andshewasindependentforthefirsttimein
herlife.She'dgonefromfrightenedgirltoconfidentwomaninaveryshorttime,andshewantedto
thankhim.She'dalmostaskedAbbyadozentimesifsheknewanyonenamedDonavan,butAbby
wouldhardlytravelinthosecircles.TheBallengerswerehighsocietynow,eveniftheyweren't
socialtypes.Theywouldn'thangoutincountrybarswithmenwhotreedthem.
Herunclehadtriedtogethertocomebacktohishousewhenwordgotoutthatshewasworkingfor
aliving,butshe'dstoodfirm.No,shetoldUncleHenryfirmly.Shewasn'tgoingtobeathismercy
untilsheinherited.And,sheadded,Mr.Holmanwasgoingtoexpectanaccountinginthenearfuture.
Herunclehadlookedveryuncomfortablewhenshe'dsaidthatandshe'dcalledBarryHolmanthenext
morningtoaskaboutheruncle'sauthoritytoactonherbehalf.
Hisreplywasthatheruncle'spowerofattorneywasaverylimitedone,anditwasdoubtfulthathe
coulddomuchdamageintheshorttimehehadleft.Faywonderedaboutthat.Herunclewasshrewd
andunderhanded.Heavenknewwhatwheelinganddealinghemighthavedonealreadywithouther
knowledge.
Pressureofworkcaughtherattentionandheldituntiltheearlyafternoon.Shetooklongenoughto
eatlunchatanearbyseafoodplaceandcamebackjustintimetocatchthetailendofaheated
argumentcomingfromCalhoun'soffice.
“You'rebeingunreasonable,J.D.,andyouknowit!"Calhoun'sdeepvoicecarrieddownthehall.
"Unreasonable,hell,"anequallydeepvoicedrawled."YouandImayneverseeeyetoeyeon
productionmethods,butwhileyou'refeedingoutmycattle,you'lldoitmyway."
'”ForGod'ssake,you'dhavemeouttherefeedingthedamnedthingswithafork!"
"Notatall.Ionlywantthemtreatedhumanely."
"Theyaretreatedhumanely!"
"Iwouldn'tcallanelectriccattleprodthat.Andstressedanimalsaren'thealthyanimals."
"Haveyoueverthoughtaboutjoiningananimalrightslobby?"cametheexasperatedreply.
"Ibelongtotwo,thanks."
ThedooropenedandFaycouldn'tdraghereyesawayfromit.Thatcurtvoicewassofamiliar...
Sureenough,thetall,lithemanwhocameoutoftheofficeinfrontofCalhounwasequallyfamiliar.
Faycouldn'thelptheradianceofherface,thesoftnessofhereyesastheyadoredhislean,darkface
underthewidebrimofhishat.
Donavan.Shecouldhavedancedonherdesk.
Butwhenheturnedandsawher,hefrowned.Hissilveryeyesnarrowed,glittered.Hepausedbyher
desk,hisheadcockedslightlytooneside,alitcigardanglingfromhisfingers.
"Whatareyoudoinghere?"heaskedherbluntly.
"I'mfillinginforNita,"shebegan.
"Don'ttellmeyouhavetoworkforalivingnow,debutante?"heaskedinamockingtone.
Shehesitated.Hesoundedasifhedislikedher.Butsheknewhe'denjoyedthefiestaasmuchasshe
had.Hisbehaviorpuzzledher,intimidatedher.
"Well,yes,"shestammered."Ido."Andshedid.Forthetimebeing.
"Whatahellofacomedown,"hemurmuredwithpatentdisbelief."StilldrivingtheMercedes?"
"Youknoweachother?"Calhounaskednarrowly.
Donavanliftedthecigartohismouthandblewoutthicksmoke."Vaguely."HeglancedatCalhoun
untiltheothermansighedangrilyandwentbacktohisofficewithamutteredgoodbye.
"You'vebeendrivingbythebarfairlyregularly,"heremarkedcurtly,andsheblushedbecauseshe
couldn'tdenyit.She'dbeenlookingforhim,hopingtohaveachancetotellhimhowhe'dhelpedher
turnherlifearound.Butheseemedtobeputtingatotallydifferentconnotationonheractions."Isthat
whereyoufoundoutIdidbusinesswiththeBallengers?"Hedidn'tevengivehertimetodenyit.
"Well,nogo,honey.Itoldyouthatnight,noboreddebutanteisgoingtotrytomakeaminor
amusementoutofme.Soifyoucameherehopingforanothershotatme,youmightaswellquitright
nowandgohometoyourcaviarandchampagne.You'renothardontheeyes,butI'moffthemarket,
isthatclear?"
Shestaredathiminquietconfusion."Mr.Holmantoldmeaboutthejob,"shesaidwithwhatdignity
shehadleft."Idon'thaveadimeuntilmytwenty-firstbirthday,andI'mlivingonmyownsoIhaveto
payrent.Thiswastheonlyjobavailable."Shedroppedhergazetohercomputer."Idrovebythebara
timeortwo,yes.Iwantedtotellyouthatyou'dchangedmylife,thatIwaslearningtostandonmy
ownfeet.Iwantedtothankyou."
Hisjawtautenedandhelookedmoredangerousthanever."Idon'twantthanks,teenageadulation,
heroworshipormisplacedlust.Butyou'rewelcome,ifitmatters."
Hesoundedcynicalandmocking.Fayfeltchastised.She'donlybeengrateful,buthemadeherfeel
stupid.Maybeshewas.She'dspunafewmidnightdreamsabouthim.Exceptforsomeveryinnocent
dateswithboys,she'dneverhadmuchattentionfromtheoppositesex.Hisprotectiveattitudethat
nightinthebar,hisquiethandlingofwhatcouldhavebecomeabadincident,hadmadeherfeel
feminineandhungryformoreofhiscompany.Hewastellingherthatshe'dmadetoomuchofit,that
shewasofferinghimaffectionthathedidn'twantorneed.Itwasprobablyakindness,butithurtall
thesame.
Sheforcedasmile."Youneedn'tworry.Iwasn'tplanningtofollowyouaroundwithaweddingband
onahookoranything.Ijustwantedtothankyouforwhatyoudid."
"You'vedonethat.So?"
"I...havealotofworktogetthrough.I'monlytemporary,"sheaddedquickly."JustuntilNitacomes
back.WhenIgetmylegacy,I'llbeonthefirstplanebacktoGeorgia.Honest."
Hisdarkeyebrowsplungedabovethestraightbridgeofhisnose."Idon'trememberaskingforany
explanations."
"Excuseme,then."Sheturnedherattentionbacktoherkeyboard;herhandswerecoldandnumb.She
forcedthemtowork.Shedidn'tlookup,either.He'dmadeherfeellikewhatcameoutofasausage
grinder.
Hedidn'treply.Hedidn'tlinger,either.Hismeasuredfootstepswentoutthedoorimmediately,
leavingthepungentscentofcigarsmokeintheirwake.
Calhouncamebackoutfiveminuteslater,checkinghiswatch."Ihavetobeoutoftheofficeforan
hourorso.TellJustinwhenhecomesback,willyou?"
"Yes,sir,"shesaid,smiling.
Hehesitated,hisnarrowedeyesregisteringthehurtonherfacethatshecouldn'thide."Listen,Fay,
don'tlethimupsetyou,"headdedquietly."Hedoesn'treallymeanthingsaspersonallyastheysound,
butherubseverybodythewrongwayexceptJustin."
"Hesavedmefromabadsituation,"shebegan."Ionlywantedtothankhim,butheseemedtothinkI
haddesignsonhimorsomething.Mygoodness,hethoughtIcametoworkherebecausehedid
businesswithyou!"
Helaughed."Can'tblamehim.Severalhave,andno,I'mnotkidding.Themorehesnarls,theharder
somewomenchasehim.He'sacatch,too.HemakesgoodmoneywithMesaBlanco,andhisown
ranchisnothingtolaughat."
"Mesa...Blanco?"shestammered,aspuzzlepiecesbegantomakeapatterninhermind.
"Sure.Didn'theintroducehimselfbefore?"Hesmiledruefully."Iguessnot.Well,thatwasJ.D.
Langley."
ChapterThree
Faygotthroughtherestofthedaywithoutshowingtoomuchofherheartache.She'dhadhopesthat
Donavanmighthavefeltsomethingforher,buthe'ddashedthoseveryefficiently.Hecouldn'thave
madeitmoreobviousthathewantednopartofherorhermoniedbackground.Hewouldn'tbelieve
thatshehadtowork.Well,ofcourse,shedidn't,really.Buthemighthavegivenherthebenefitofthe
doubt.
Ithadn'tbeenaterribleshocktolearnthathewasJ.D.Langley.Hedidlivedowntohispublicity.
Later,she'dfoundoutthatDonavanwashismiddlenameandwhathewascalledlocally,exceptby
peoplewhodidbusinesswithhim.ShecertainlyunderstoodwhytheBallengershatedtoseehim
coming.
Shewassorryabouthishostility,becausethefirsttimeshe'deverseenhim,therehadbeena
tendernessbetweenthemthatshe'dneverexperienced.Itmusthaveallbeenononeside,though,she
decidedmiserably.
Well,shetoldherselfasshelaytryingtosleepthatnight,she'ddobettertostopbroodingand
concentrateonherownproblems.Shehadenough,withoutaddingtheformidableMr.Langleyto
them.
Butfatewasconspiringagainsther.Thenextday,shetriedanewcafeteriainJacobsvilleandcame
face-to-facewithJ.D.Langleyasshesatdownwithhertray.
Hegaveheraglarethatwouldhavestoppedtraffic.He'dobviouslyjustfinishedhismeal.Hewas
draininghiscoffeecup.Fayturnedherchairsothatshewasn'tlookingdirectlyathimand,with
unsteadyhands,tookherfoodoffthetray.
"Itoldyouyesterday,"Donavansaidathershoulder,"thatIdon'tlikebeingchased.Didn'tyoulisten?"
Thewhipofhisvoicecut.Notonlythat,itwasloudenoughtoattractattentionfromotherdinersin
thecrowdedroom.
Fay'sfacewentredassheglancedathimapprehensively,hergreeneyeshugeastheymetthefierce
silveryglitterofhis.
"Ididn'tknowyouweregoingtobehere..."shebeganuneasily.
"No?"hechallenged,hissmileaninsultinitself."Youdidn'trecognizemycarsittingintheparking
lot?Giveitup,debutante.Idon'tlikeboredlittlerichgirls,sostopfollowingmearound.Gotthat?"
Heturnedandleftthecafeteria.Faywastoohumiliatedbytheunwantedattentiontoenjoymuchof
hermeal.Sheleftquicklyandwentbacktowork.
Followinghimaround,indeed,shemutteredtoherselfwhileshefeddataintohercomputer.She
didn'tknowwhatkindofcarhedrove.Theonlyvehicleshe'dseenhiminwasabatteredgraypickup
truck,hadheforgotten?Perhapshethoughtshe'dseenhiscarwhenhe'dcometothefeedlot,butshe
hadn't.Themoreshesawofhimthelessshelikedhim,andshe'dhardlybeenhoundinghim.She
certainlywouldn'tagain,hecouldbankonthat!
Abbycameinthenextafternoonwithaninvitation."CalhounandIhavetogotoacharityballtonight.
Iknowit'sspur-of-the-moment,butwouldyouliketocome?"
"Willmyunclebethere,doyouthink?"Fayasked.
"Ihardlythinkso."Abbygrinned."Comeon.You'vebeenmopingaroundherefortwodays,itwillbe
goodforyou.Youcanridewithus,andthere'saverynicemanIwanttointroduceyoutowhenwe
getthere.He'sunattached,personable,andrichenoughnottomindthatyouare."
"Uh,Mr.Langley...?"
"IheardwhathappenedinCole'sCafe."Abbygrimaced."J.D.doesn'tgotocharityballs,soyouaren't
likelytorunintohimthere."
"ThankGod.HewassokindtomethenightImethim,buthe'sbeenterribletomeeversince.Ionly
wantedtothankhim.HethinksIhavedesignsonhim."Sheshuddered."AsifI'deverchasedamanin
mylife...!"
"You'renotJ.D.'skindofwoman,Fay,"theolderwomansaidgently."Yourwealthalonewouldkeep
himatbay,withoutthedifferenceinyourages.J.D.'sinhisearlythirties,andhedoesn'tlikeyounger
women."
"Idon'tthinkhelikesanywomen,"Fayrepliedwithasigh."Especiallyme.ButIwasn'tchasinghim,
honestly!"
"Don'tletitworryyou."
"You'resurehewon'tbetheretonight?"
"Absolutelypositive,"Abbyassuredher.
Propheticwords.AbbyandCalhounpickedFayupatherapartmenthouse,anddrovehertothe
elegantWhitmanestatewherethecharityballwasalreadyinprogress.Faywaswearingalongwhite
silkdresswithoneshoulderbareandherhairinaveryelegantbraidedbunatopherhead.Shelooked
youngandfragile...andveryrich.
TheywentthroughthereceivinglineandFaymovedaheadofCalhounandAbbytotherefreshment
tablewhiletheyspoketoanacquaintance.Shebumpedintosomeoneandturnedtoapologize.
"Again?"J.D.Langleyaskedwithaviciousscowl."MyGod,doyouhaveradar?"
Faydidn'tsayaword.SheturnedandwentbacktowardAbbyandCalhoun,herheartpoundinginher
chest.
AbbyspottedJ.D.andgrimaced."Ididn'tknow,"shetoldashatteredFay."IswearIdidn't.Here,you
stickclosetous.Hewon'tbotheryou.Comeon,I'llintroduceyoutoBartandthatwillsolveallyour
problems.I'msorry,Fay."
"Itwasn'tyourfault.It'sfate,Iguess,"shesaiddryly,althoughhereyesweretroubled.
"Arrogantbeast,"Abbymuttered,sparingthetall,elegantmaninthedinnerjacketaspeakingglance.
"Ifhewerealittlelessconceited,youwouldn'thavethisproblem."ShedrewFayforward."Herehe
is.Bart!"
Athin,lazylookingmanwithwavyblondhairandmischievousblueeyesturnedashisnamewas
called.HegreetedAbbywarmlyandglancedatFaywithopencuriosityanddelight.
"Well,well,Greekgoddessesarebackinstyleagain,Isee.Dofavormewithawaltzbeforeyouset
offforMountOlympus,fairdamsel."
"Thisisournewestemployee,FayYork,"sheintroducedthem."Fay,thisisBartlettMarkham.He's
presidentofthelocalcattlemen'sassociation."
"Nicetomeetyou,"shesaid,extendingahand."Doyouknowcattle?"
"Igrewuponaranch.Iworkforafirmofaccountantsnow,butmyfamilystillhasapretty
formidableSantaGertrudispurebredoperation."
"Idon'tknowmuch,butI'mlearningeveryday,"Faylaughed.
"I'llleaveherwithyou,Bart,"Abbysaid."DokeepherawayfromJ.D.,willyou?Heseemstothink
she'sstalkinghim."
"Dotell?"Hiseyebrowsleveredupandhegrinned."Whynotstalkmeinstead?I'mamuchbetter
catchthanJ.D.,andyouwon'tneedpreventiveshotsifyougooutwithme,either."
InsinuatingthatshewouldwithJ.D.,shethought.Rabiesprobably,shemusedvenomously,incasehe
bither.ShesmiledatBart,feelinghappieralready.
"Consideryourselfontheendangeredspecieslist,then,"shesaid.
Helaughed."Gladly."Heglancedtowardtheband."Wouldyouliketodance?"
"Charmed."Shegavehimherhandandlethimleadhertothedancefloor,wherealivebandwas
playingabluesytwo-step.SheknewexactlywhereJ.D.Langleywas,asifshereallydidhaveradar,
soshewascarefulnottolookinthatdirection.
Henoticed.Itwasimpossiblenotto,whenshewasdancingwithoneofhisbitterestenemies.Hestood
quietlyagainstawall,hissilvereyessteadyandunblinkingasheregisteredthefluidgracewithwhich
shefollowedherpartner'ssteps.Hedidn'tlikethewayMarkhamwasholdingher,orthewayshewas
responding.
Notthathewantedher,heassuredhimself.Shewasnothingbutanothertroublesomewoman.A
debutante,atthat,andovertenyearshisjunior.Hehadnouseforheratall,andhe'dmadesureshe
knewit.Theironeeveningtogetherhadsenthimtearingawayintheoppositedirection.Sheappealed
tohimterribly.Hecouldn'taffordaninvolvementwithasocietygirl.Heknewhewasbetteroff
alone,sokeepingthistemptinglittlemorselawayfromhimbecameimperative.Ifhehadtosavage
hertodoit,itwasstillthebestthingforbothofthem.Shewasmuchtoosoftanddelicateforaman
likehimself.He'dbreakherspiritandherheart,becausehehadnothingtogive.Andhisfather's
reputationinthecommunitymadeitimpossibleforhimtobeseeninpublicwithherinanycongenial
way.He'daccusedherofstalkinghim,butgossipwouldhaveittheotherwayaround.Another
money-crazyLangley,criticswouldscoff,outtosnarehimselfarichwife.Hegroanedatjustthe
thought.
Hedidn'tlikeseeingherwithMarkham,buttherewasnothinghecoulddoaboutit.Heshouldn'thave
cometonight.
HeturnedawaytotherefreshmenttableandpouredhimselfaglassofScotch.
"Youaren'treallyafterDonavan,areyou?"Bartaskedhumorously.
"Heflattershimself,"shesaidhaughtily.
"That'swhatIthought.Likefather,likeson,"hesaidunpleasantly.
"Idon'tunderstand."
Hemadeagracefulturn,carryingherwithhimasthemusic'stempoincreased."AfterDonavan's
motherdied,RandLangleygotintoafinancialtangleandwasabouttolosehisranch.Myauntwas
veryyoungthen,plainandshy,butshewasfilthyrichandsingle,soRandsethiscapforher.Hekept
afterheruntilheseducedher,sothatshehadtomarryhimordisgraceherfamily.Shewascrazy
abouthim.Worshipedthegroundhewalkedon.Then,inevitably,shefoundoutwhyhereallymarried
herandshecouldn'tlivewithit.Shekilledherself."
Faygrimaced."I'msorry."
"Sowereallofus,"headdedcoldly,glaringatJ.D.Langley'sback."Randdidn'tevencometothe
funeral.Hewastoobusyspendinghermoney.Hediedafewyearslater,andbelieveme,noneofus
grievedforhim."
"Thatwasn'tDonavan'sfault,"shefeltboundtopointout.
"Bloodwilltell,"cametheunbelievingreply."You'rewell-to-do."
"Yes,buthecan'tstandme,"shereplied.
"Idon'tbelievethat.Ican'timagineJ.D.passinguparichwoman."
"Howmanyhashedatedovertheyears?"sheaskedwithfaintirritation.
"Idon'tkeepupwithhislovelife,"hesaidtersely,andallhisprejudicesshowedquiteclearly.Fay
couldseethathewouldn'tbelieveakindwordaboutJ.D.Langleyifhehadproof.
"Thetwoofyoudon'tgetalong,Igather."
"Wedisagreeonjustabouteverything.Especiallyonhisridiculoustheoriesaboutcattleraising,"he
addedsarcastically."No.Wedon'tgetalong."
Shewasquietafterthat.Nowsheunderstoodthesituation.Itcouldn'thavebeenmadeclearer.
Shedancedwithseveraleligiblebachelorsandseveralmarriedmenbeforetheeveningended.It
surprisedherthatJ.D.Langleywasstillpresent.Heremainedonthefringesofthedancefloor,
talkingtoothermen.Heaskednoonetodance.Faywassadlycertainthathewouldn'taskher.
Butinthat,shewassurprised.ThebandwasplayingasoftlovesongandshewatchedBartglancein
herdirection.Butbeforehecouldgetacrosstheroom,Donavansuddenlyswungherintohisarms
andontothedancefloor.
Herheartskippedwildlyasshefeltthefirmclaspofhishandonherwaist,hisfingerssteelyasthey
linkedherown.
"Thisisnotagoodidea,"shesaidfirmly."I'llthinkyou'reencouragingme."
"Notlikely.BynowBart'sfilledyouin,hasn'the?"herepliedwithamockingsmile.
Sheavertedhereyestothewhiteruffledshirtheworeunderhisdinnerjacket.Onanothermanit
mightlookeffeminate.OnDonavan,itlookedmasculineandverysexy,emphasizinghisdarkgood
looks."Igotanearful,thanks,"shereplied.
Heshookhergently."Stiffasaboard,"hemused,lookingdownather."Areyouafraidtoletyour
guarddown?There'sverylittleIcoulddotoyouonadancefloorinfrontofhalfofJacobsville."
"You'vemadeyouropinionofmecrystalclear,Mr.Langley,"shesaidwithoutlookingup."Ihaven't
beenstalkingyou,asyouputit,butyou'refreetothinkwhatyoulike.DotrytorememberthatIdidn't
askyoutodance."
"Thatwasthewholepurposeoftheexercise,"hesaidcarelessly."Tomakesureyoudidn'tsetyour
capforme."
"Thenwhyareyoudancingwithme?"
Hisleanarmwhippedhercloseonaturn,buthedidn'tlethergoafterward.Hisdarkfacewasalltoo
close,sothatshecouldsmellhistangyafter-shave,andhissilvereyesbitintohersatpoint-blank
range."Don'tyouknow?"heaskedatherlips.
Herhearttrippedasshefelthisbreath."Oh,Isee,"shesaidsuddenly."You'retryingtoirritateBart."
Heliftedhisheadandoneeyebrowquirked."Isthatit?"
"Whatelse?"sheaskedwithanervouslaugh,avertinghereyestoafumingBartnearby."Listen,I'm
notgoingtobeusedforanyvendettas,byyouoryourhissingkin."
Hisfingerscurledintohersanddrewthemtohisbroadchest.Itroseandfellheavily,andhestared
overherdarkheadwithoutseeinganything."Idon'thaveanyvendettas,"hesaidquietly."ButIwon't
beaccusedoffollowinginmyfather'sfootsteps."
Shecouldfeelthepaininthosetersewords,butshedidn'tremarkonit.Hereyesclosedandshedrank
inthedeliciousmasculinescentofhim."Iwon'tberichforanotherweekortwo,"shemurmured.
"Untilthelegalworkgoesthrough,I'mjustatemporarysecretary."
Helaughedinspiteofhimself."Isee.Fortwoweeksyou'reonmylevel.NoMercedes.Nomansion.
Nopaddedcheckbook."
"Somethinglikethat."Shesighedandsnuggledcloser."Howaboutawild,passionateaffair?We
couldthrowthecoatsontheclosetfloorandyoucouldhaveyourwaywithmeundersomebody's
silverfoxstole."
Heburstoutlaughing.Hissteelyarmdrewhercloseashemadeasuddenturn,andherbodythrobbed
withthesensationsitcausedinheruntriedbody.
"Hasn'tanyonetoldyouyetthatIbelongtotwoanimalrightsgroups?"
"Soyou'reoneofthosepeoplewhoprotestlabanimalexperimentsthatsavelittlechildren'slivesand
throwpaintonpeoplewhowearfurcoats?"sheasked,hertemperrising.
"Notme.I'mnofanatic.Ijustthinkanimalshavetherighttohumanetreatment,eveninmedical
facilities."Hisarmtightened."Asforthrowingpaintonfurcoats,afewlawsuitsshouldstemthat
habit.Theideaistostopfurtherslaughterofwildanimals.Afurcoatisalreadyadeadanimal."
Sheshivered."Youmakeitsoundmorbid."
Onesilvereyenarrowed."Doyouwearfur?"
Shechuckled."Ican't.Furmakesmebreakoutinhives."
Hebegantosmile."Arichgirlwithnofurs.Whatatragedy."
"Ihaveplentyofvelvetcoats,thanksverymuch.Ithinkthey'remuchmoreelegantthanfurandthey
don'tshed."Shemovedcloser,shockedwhenhishandcaughtherhipandcontractedpainfully.
"Ouch!"sheprotested.
Hemovedherbackaninch."Don'tpushyourluck,"hesaid,hisvoicelowandfaintlythreatening,like
hisglitteryeyes."You'reprettysexyinthatlittlenumberyou'rewearing,andI'measilyaroused.Want
metoproveit?"
"No,thanks,"shesaidquickly."I'lltakeyourwordforit"
Helaughedashespunheraroundinaneatturn."Forasophisticateddebutante,sometimesyou'rea
contradiction.Isthatablush?"
"It'shotinhere."
"Ah.Theconventionalexcuse."Heleanedcloseandbrushedhischeekagainsthers."Toobadyou're
rich."
"Isit?Why?"sheaskedinatonethatsounded,unfortunately,alltoobreathless.
Henibbledgentlyonherearlobe."BecauseI'mdynamiteinbed."
"Dotell?"Shehidherfaceagainsthim."Areyou?"shewhisperedshakily.
Hisleanhandslidupherbackandintothecoiledhairathernape.Hecaresseditgentlywhileheheld
her,themusicwashingovertheminasultrysilence.
"SoI'vebeentold."Hischinrubbedsoftlyagainsthertemple,hisbreathcomingroughly."Butwhy
takesomeoneelse'swordforit?"
Sheforcedalaugh."Isn'tthisalittlesudden?Imean,justadayagoyouweregivingmehellfor
eatinglunchinthesamerestaurantwithyou."
"I'msureBarttoldyoutheproblem.Rich,you'rerightoffmyChristmaslist.Poor,you'rean
endangeredspecies."Hishandcontracted,coaxingherfaceuptohisglitteryeyes.
"ShouldIcutandrun?"sheasked,hervoicehusky.
"Doyoureallywantto?"hewhispered.
Ashespoke,hemovedcloser,andhispowerfulthighsbrushedhers.Eventhroughallthelayersof
fabric,shefelttheimprintofthem,thestrength.Hishandsliddownherbacktoherwaistandpulled,
verygently,sothatshewaspressedrightuptohim,weldedfrombreasttothigh.Hewatchedhereyes
andsomethingmasculineandarrogantkindledinhisgazeashefeltthefaintshiverofhersoftbody.
"DoyoulikeChinesefood?"heasked.
Shenodded.
"IliketodriveuptoHoustonforit.There'sagoodrestaurantjustinsidethecitylimits.Howabout
it?"
Herheartjumped."Areyouaskingmeout?"
"Soundslikeit,"hemused."Don'texpectsteakandlobster.Imakeagoodsalary,butitdoesn'trunto
champagne."
Shecoloredfuriously."Please,don't,"shesaidquickly."I'mnotlikethat."
Hetouchedherfacegently."Yes,Iknow.Itmakesitharder.DoyouthinkIenjoyedhurtingyou?"he
askedharshly,andforaninstantsomethingshowedinhiseyesthatstartledher.Helookedaway.
"There'snofutureforus,littleone."
Shefelthimhesitating.Anysecond,hewasgoingtotakebackthatsupperinvitation.
"JustChinesefood,"sheprompted,oneslenderhandpokinghimgentlyintheribs.
Hestarted,andshegrinnedathim."Andnomoonlightseductiononthewayhome,"sheadded."As
yousaid,itisn'twisetostartthingswecan'tfinish."
"Icouldfinishthat,"hemurmureddryly.
Sheclearedherthroat."Well,Idon'ttakechances.I'llriskmystomachwithyou,butnotmyheart."
Hecockedaneyebrow."Doesthatmeanthatmakinglovewithmemightenslaveyou?"heteased.
"Exactly.Besides,Ineversleepwithamanonthefirstdate."
Therewasthefaintestmovementofhiseyelashes.Heavertedhisgazetoapointbeyondherhead.He
couldn'tadmitthatitbotheredhim,thinkingofherwithothermen.Shewasadebutanteandfilthy
rich,surelytherehadbeenasteadystreamofsuitors.Shemighthavemoreexperienceeventhanhe
did.He'dneverthoughtaboutawoman'spastbefore.Ithadneveroccurredtohimtowonderhow
experiencedhisloveroftheeveningactuallywas.ButwithFay,hewondered.
"What'swrong?"sheaskedcuriously.
Heglanceddownather.Shelookedveryinnocentuntilshesmiled,andthenhereyescrinkledand
therewasasophisticationinthemthatmadehimfeelcool."Nothing."
"That'susuallythewoman'sline,isn'tit?"
"Equalrights,"heremindedher."Fridaynight.I'llpickyouupatsix."
"Idon'tlivewithUncleHenryanymore,"shebegan.
"Iknowwhereyoulive,"hereplied."We'lleatChinesefoodandyoucanshowmewhatyouknow.It
shouldbequiteanexperience..."
Longafterthedancewasoverandshewasbackinherapartment,sheworriedoverthatlaststatement.
Shefeltasifshewereabouttogetinwelloverherhead.
ShewantedDonavanmorethanshe'deverwantedanythinginherlife.Adatewithhimwasthegoldat
theendoftherainbow.Butshe'dpretendedtobesomethingshewasn't,andshedidn'tknowwhatshe
wasgoingtodoifhetookheruponit.
AbbynoticedFay'spreoccupationthenextdaywhenshestoppedbytoseeCalhoun.
"You'repositivelymorose!"Abbyexclaimed."What'swrong?"
"Donavanaskedmeout."
Hereyebrowswentup."J.D.askedyouout?Buthehatesrichwomen."
"Yes,Iknow.ItoldhimIwasgoingtobepoorfortwomoreweeks,soIguesshethoughtitwassafe
enoughuntilmyinheritancecomesthrough."
"Isee."Abbydidn'tsayanything,butshebegantolookworriedherself."Fay,Ineverthoughtto
mentionit,becauseJ.D.wasgivingyousuchahardtime,buthe'ssomethingofawomanizer..."
"Ifiguredthatoutformyself,"shemurmuredwithasmile."Itshows."
"He'sagentleman,inhisway.Justdon'tgivehimtoomuchrope.He'llhangyouwithit."
"Iknowthat,too.I'llbecareful."
Abbyhesitated."Ifithelps,Iknowhowyoufeel.IwascrazyaboutCalhoun,buthelikedadifferent
kindofwomanaltogether.Wehadaveryrockypathtothealtar."
"He'scrazyaboutyou,though.Anyonecanseethat."
Abbysmiledcontentedly."Ofcourseheis.Butitwasn'talwaysthatway."
"Donavanalreadysaidthathedoesn'twantcommitment.I'mnotgoingtogetmyhopesup.Butan
eveningoutwithhim...Well,it'sgoingtobelikebrushingheaven,youknow?"
"Ido,indeed."Abbysmiled,rememberingherfirstdatewithCalhoun.SheglancedbackatFay,her
eyeswistful.Sheonlyhopedtheirnewestemployeewasn'tgoingtobebadlyhurt.Everyonelocally
knewthatJ.D.Langleywasn'tamarryingman.ButAbbywouldhavebetherprizebullthatFaywas
asinnocentasAbbyherselfhadoncebeen.Ifshewas,shehadalotofheartacheinstore.WhenJ.D.
foundout,andhewould,he'ddropFaylikeahotrock.Innocentswerenothisstyle.
Faywentthroughthemotionsofworkinglikeazombieforthenextweek,withadullandtedious
weekendinbetweenthatdidlittleforhernerves.Donavandidn'tcomebythefeedlotatall,andwhen
shelefttheofficethenextFridayafternoon,shestillhadn'theardfromhim.Forallsheknew,he
mighthaveforgottenallabouther.
Thephonewasringingevenasshegotinthedoor,andshegrabbedupthereceiverasifitwerealife
preserver.
"Hello?"shesaidbreathlessly.
"I'llbebyinanhour.Youhadn'tforgotten?"Donavandrawled.
"HowcouldI?"sheasked,addingmischievously,"IloveChinesefood."
Hechuckled."Thatputsmeinmyplace,Iguess.Seeyou."
HehungupandFayrantodress.Theonlythinginherclosetthatwouldsuitafairlycasualevening
outwasapalegreensilksuitandshehatedwearingit.Itscreamedbigmoney,somethingsuretoset
Donavan'steethonedge.Butotherthandesignerjeansandasilkblouse,oreveninggowns,itwasall
shehad.Thecottonpantsuitshe'dworntoworktodaywasjusttoowrinkledandstainedtowearout
tonight.Itwouldn'thavebeensuitableanyway.
Sheteamedthesilksuitwithanicecottonblouseandsatdowntowait,afterrenewinghermakeup.
Sheonlyhopedthathewasn'tgoingtotakeonelookatherandrun.Ifhedidn'tthrowherover
entirely,shewasgoingtohavetoinvestinsomemedium-pricedclothing!
ChapterFour
JustasFayhadfeared,Donavan'sfirstglimpseofhersilksuitbroughtascowltohisface.
"It'sold,"shesaidinadequately,andlookedmiserable.Shelockedherfingerstogetherandstaredat
himwithsadnessalloverherface.
Heshovedhishandsintothepocketsofhisgrayslacks.Hewaswearingawhitecottonshirtanda
blueblazerwiththem,ablackStetsoncockedoveroneeyeandmatchingbootsonhisfeet.Helooked
nice,buthardlyelegantorwealthy.Hersilksuitseemedtopointoutallthedifferencesbetweenthe
life-styleshewasusedto,andhisown.
"Youlookverynice,"hesaidquietly.
"Andveryexpensive,"sheaddedonacurtlaugh."I'msorry."
"Why?"
"Ididn'twantyoutothinkIworethisonpurpose,"shesaid,faltering.
Heliftedaneyebrowandsmiledmockingly."I'mtakingyououtforaChinesedinner.Aproposalof
marriagedoesn'tcomewiththeeggroll."
Sheblushedfuriously."Iknowthat."
"Thenwhybotheraboutappearances?"Heshrugged."Adateisonething.Aseriousrelationshipis
somethingelse."Hissilvereyesnarrowed."Let'ssettlethatattheoutset.Ihavenothingseriousor
permanentinmind.Evenifwewindupasthehottestcoupleintownbetweenthesheets,therestill
won'tbeanythingofferedinthewayofcommitment."
"Iknewthatalready,"shesaid,steelingherselfnottoreacttotheprovocativestatement.
"Good."Heglancedaroundtheapartment,frowningslightly."Thisisprettyspartan,isn'tit?"he
asked,suddenlyrealizinghowfrugallysheseemedtobeliving.
"It'sallIcouldaffordonmysalary,"shetoldhim.Shewrappedherarmsacrossherbreastsand
smiled."Idon'tmindit.It'sjustaplacetosleep."
"Henrydoesn'thelpyoufinancially?"hepersisted.
"Hecan't,"sheexplained."He'sgothisownfinancialwoes.I'llbefinewhenheturnsovermyaffairs
toMr.HolmanandIcangettomytrust."
Donavandidn'tsayaword,butsuddenlyhewasbeginningtoseethingssheapparentlydidn't.IfHenry
washavingmoneyproblems,surelyhiscontrolofFay'sestatewouldgivehimthemeansofsolving
them,evenifhehadtopayherbacklater.Thefactthathewassufferingareversaldidn'tbodewell
forFay,butsheseemedoblivious.Perhapslikemostrichwomenshedidn'tknoworcaremuchabout
handlingmoney.
Hewasawarethathe'dbeensilentalongtime.Hetookhishandsoutofhispocketsandcaughther
slenderfingersinhis.Theywerecold,likeice.“We'dbettergo,"hesaid,drawingheralongwithhim.
Fayhadneverrealizedhowexcitingitcouldbetoholdhandswithaman.Helinkedherfingersinto
hisastheywalked,andshefeltthesensuouscontractionallthewaytohertoes.Itwaslikewalkingon
acloud,shethought.Shecouldalmostfloat.
Donavanwasfeelingsomethingsimilarandfightingittoothandnail.Hehadn'treallywantedthis
dateatall,butsomethingstrongerthanhiswillhadforcedhimintoit.Faywasadeliciouslittle
morsel,fullofcontradictions.He'dalwayslikedpuzzles.Shewasonehereallywantedtosolve,even
ifhisinclinationwastogetherintothenearestbedwithallpossiblehaste.
Shehadtobeexperienced.She'dneverdeniedthat.Hewonderedifpamperedrichboyswereas
anemicinbedastheyseemedwhenhesawthematboardmeetings.Hiscontemptfortheupperclasses
was,heknew,aresultofhisfather'sruthlessgreed.
Hecouldstillbarelybelievethewholeepisode,hisfatherrunningpell-mellafterawomanhalfhis
agewhenhiswifeoftwentyyearswasjustbarelyinhergrave.Ithaddisgustedandshockedhim,and
ledtoaconfrontationofstellarproportions.Hehadn'tspokentohisfatherafterward,andhis
presenceathisfather'sfuneraltwoyearslaterwasonlyanodtoconvention.Itwasn'tuntilmuchlater
thathe'dlearnedwhyRandLangleyhadbeensoruthless.Ithadbeentosavethefamilyranch,which
hadbeenLangleylandforthreegenerations.Notthatitexcusedwhathe'ddone,butitdidatleast
explainit.RandhadwantedDonavantoinherittheranch.Marryingmoneyhadbeentheonlywayhe
couldkeepit.
"You'reveryquiet,"FayremarkedonthewaytoHouston."Areyousorryyouaskedmeout?"
Heglancedather."No.Iwasremembering."
"Yes?"
Hewassmokingoneofthesmallcigarshefavored,hisgrayeyesthoughtfulastheylingeredonthe
longroadahead."Myfatherdisgracedhimselftomarrymoney,tokeeptheranchformeandmy
children,ifIeverhaveany.Ironic,thatI'venevermarriedandneverwantto,becauseofhim."
Shefoldedherhandsprimlyinherlap.Itflatteredherthathewaswillingtotellhersomethingso
personal.
"Ifyoudon'thavechildren,whatwillhappentoyourranch?"sheasked.
"I'vegotaten-year-oldnephew,"hesaid."Mysister'sboy.Hisfather'sbeendeadforyears.Mysister
remarriedthreeyearsago,andshediedlastyear.Herhusbandgotcustody.Buthe'sjustremarried,
andlastmonthhestuckJeffreyinamilitaryschool.Theboy'sintroubleconstantly,andhehateshis
stepfather."Hetookalongdrawfromthecigar,scowling."That'swhyIwassittinginthatbarthe
nightyouwalkedin.Iwastryingtodecidewhattodo.Jeffwantstocomeouthereandlivewithme."
"Can'the?"
Heshookhishead."Nochance.HisfatherandIdon'tgetalong.He'dmorethanlikelyrefusejustto
getatme.Hisnewwifeispregnantandhedoesn'tseemtocareaboutJeffatall."
"That'ssad,"shesaid."Doeshemisshismother?"
"Henevertalksabouther."
"Probablybecausehecarestoomuch,"shesaid."Imissmyparents,"sheaddedunexpectedly."They
diedinaplanecrash.EvenifIneversawmuchofthem,theywerestillmyparents."
"Whatdoyoumean,youneversawmuchofthem?"
Shelaughedsoftly."Theylikedtraveling.Iwasinschool,andtheydidn'twanttointerruptmy
education.Istayedathomewithanelderlygreat-aunt.Shelikedmeverymuch,butitwaskindof
lonely.Especiallyduringholidays."Shestaredoutthewindow,awareofhiscuriousstare."IfIever
havekids,I’llbewheretheyare,"shesaidsuddenly."Andtheywon'teverhavetospendChristmas
withoutme."
"Isuppose,"hebeganslowly,"therearesomethingsmoneywon'tbuy."
"Anendlesslist,"sheagreed."Beginningandendingwithlove."
Hechuckledsoftly,tolightentheatmosphere.Heglancedsidewaysather."Moneycanbuylove,you
know,"hemurmured.
"Well,notreally,"shedisagreed."Itcanbuytheillusionofit,butIwouldn'tcallatimedsessionin
bed'love.'"
Heburstoutlaughing."No,"hesaidafteraminute."Idon'tsupposeitis.Theysaythattypeof
experienceislessthansatisfying.Iwouldn'tknow.Icouldn'tfindanypleasureinabodyIhadtopay
for."
"Icanunderstandthat."
Therewasapleasanttensioninthesilencethatdroppedbetweenthem.Minuteslater,Donavanpulled
upinfrontofaChineserestaurantandcutofftheengine.
"Thisisit,"hesaid.Hehelpedheroutofthecarandescortedherinside.
Itwasaverynicerestaurant,withChinesemusicplayingsoftlyinthebackgroundandexcellent
service.
Donavanwatchedhercovertlyashesampledthejasmineteathewaitresshadserved."Tellmeabout
yourjob.Howdoesitfeeltoworkforaliving?"
Hereyesbrightenedandshesmiled."Ilikeitverymuch,"sheconfessed."I'veneverbeenresponsible
formyownlifebefore.I'vealwayshadpeopletellingmewhattodoandhowtodoit.ThenightImet
youatthebarreallyopenedmyeyes.Youmademeseewhatmylifewaslike,showedmethatIcould
changeitifIwantedto.Iwasn'tkiddingwhenIsaidyouturnedmyworldaround."
"Ithoughtthejobwasameanstoanend,"heconfessed,smilingathisownfolly."I'vebeenchased
before,andbywell-to-dowomenwhosawmeasachallenge."
"You'renotbadlooking,"shesaiddemurely,avertinghereyes."Andyou'reverymuchaman.ButI
meantitwhenIsaidIwasn'tchasingyou.Ihavetoomuchpridetobehavethatway."
Probablyshedid.Helikedherhonesty.Helikedthewayshelookedanddressed,too.Shewasn't
beautiful,butshewaselegantandwell-mannered,andshehadabigheart.Hefoundhimself
wonderinghowJeffwouldreacttoher.
Theyateinapleasantsilenceandtalkedaboutpoliticsandtheweather,everythingexceptthemselves.
AlltoosoonitwastimetostartbackforJacobsville.
"Howareyouandyourunclegettingalong?"Donavanaskedonthewayback.
"Wespeakandnotmuchmore.UncleHenry'sworriedaboutsomething,"sheadded."Hegetsmore
nervousbytheday."
He'dneverthoughtofheruncleasanervousman.PerhapsithadsomethingtodowithFay's
inheritance.
"Supposeyouinheritonlyafewdollarsandanapology?"heaskedsuddenly.
Shelaughed."Thatisn'tlikely."
"Butifitwas?"
Shethoughtaboutitseriously."Itwouldbehard,"sheconfessed."I'mnotusedtoaskingthepriceof
anything,ordenyingmyselfawhimpurchase.Butlikeanythingelse,IexpectIcouldgetusedtoit.I
don'tmindhardwork."
Henodded.Thatwouldmakeherlifeeasier.
HeturnedoffontoafarmroadjustattheoutskirtsofJacobsville.
"Wherearewegoing?"sheasked,glancingaroundatunfamiliarterrain.
"I'mgoingtoshowyoumyranch,"hesaidsimply.Hiseyeslancedoverherandhesmiledwickedly.
"ThenI'mgoingtoshoveyouintothehenhouseandhavemywaywithyou."
"Doyouhaveahenhouse?"sheaskedexcitedly.
"Yes.Andaflockofchickenstogowithit.Ilikefresheggs."
Hedidn'taddthatheoftenhadtobudgetinbetweencattlesales,evenonthegoodsalaryhemade.
"Iguessyouhaveyourownbeef,too?"sheasked.
"Notforslaughter,"hereplied."Ilikeanimalstoomuchtoraiseonetokill.MesaBlancohas
slaughtercattle,butIdon'tspendanymoretimearoundthemthanIhaveto."
Thepictureshewasgettingofhimdidn'thavealottodowiththeimageheprojected.Ananimal
loverwithacoreofsteelwasunusual.
"Doyouhavedogsandcats?"
Hesmiledslowly."Andpuppiesandkittens,"hesaid."Igivethemawaywhenthepopulationgetsout
ofcontrol,andmostofmineareneutered.It'scriminaltoturnanunneuteredanimallooseonthe
streets."Heslowedastheroadcurvedtowardasimplewhiteframehouse."Everhadadogorcatof
yourown?"
"No,"shesaidsadly."Myparentsweren'tanimallovers.Mymotherwouldhavefaintedatthethought
ofcathaironherLouisQuinzefurniture.""I'dratherhavethecatthanthefurniture,"heremarked.
Shesmiled."SowouldI."Hisheartlifted.Shewasn'tatallwhathe'dexpected.Hepulledupinfrontof
theranchhouseandcutofftheengine.
Therewereflowerseverywhere,fromshrubstotreestobedsofthemrightandleftaroundtheporch.
Shecouldseethembythefiercelightofthealmost-fullmoon."Howbeautiful!"sheexclaimed.
"Thankyou.""Youplantedthem?"
"Nobodyelse.Ilikeflowers,"hesaiddefensivelyashegotoutandhelpedheroutofthecar.
"Ididn'tsayaword,"sheassuredhim."Ilikeflowers,too."
Heunlockedthefrontdoorwhilesheglancedcovetouslyalongthelongfrontporchattheold-
fashionedswingandrockingchair.Somewherenearbycattlemadepleasantmooingnoises."Doyou
keepalotofcattlehere?"sheasked."IhavepurebredSantaGertrudis,"hetoldher."Studcattle,not
beefcattle."
"Whydoesn'tthatsurpriseme?"sheteased.Helaughed,standingasidetoletherenterthehouse.
ThelivingroomwasdoneinEarlyAmerican,anditlookedbothneatandlived-in.Forabachelor,he
wasagoodhousekeeper.Shesaidso.
"Thanks,butIcan'ttakeallthecredit.Myforeman'swifelooksafterthingswhenIcan't."
Shewasinsanelyjealousoftheforeman'swife,allatonce.
Hesawherexpressionandsmiled."She'sfiftyandhappilymarried."
Sheblushed,movingfartherintotheroom.
"Lookout,"hewarned.
Beforethewordswentsilent,herfootwasattackedbyatinyballoffurwithteeth.
"Goodheavens!"sheexclaimed,laughing."Aminiaturetiger!"shekidded.
"I'mtraininghertobeanattackcat.IcallherBee."
"Bee?"
Hegrinned."ShortforBeelzebub.Youcan'timaginewhatshedidtothecurtainsadayorsoago."
Shereacheddownandpickedupthetinything.Itlookedupatherwithacalicofaceandthesoftest,
mostlovingblue-greeneyesshe'deverseen,withblackfuroutliningthem.
"Why,she'sbeautiful!"sheexclaimed.
"Ithinkso."
Thekitten'seyeshalfclosedasitbegantopurrandkneadherjacketwithitstinypaws.
"She'llpickthatsilk,"hesaid,reachingforthekitten.
Shelookedathimcuriously."Thatdoesn'tmatter,"shesaid,surprisedbyhiscomment.
Hissilvereyesregisteredhisownsurpriseastheylookeddeeplyintohers."Thatsuitmusthavecosta
smallfortune,"hepersisted.Heextricatedthekitten,despiteherprotests,andcarrieditintothe
bedroom,closingthedoorbehindhim.
"Wantsomecoffee?"heasked.
"Thatwouldbenice."
"Itwillonlytakeaminuteorso."Hetossedhishatontothehatrackandwentintothekitchen.
Faywanderedaroundthelivingroom,stoppingataphotographonthemantel.Itwasofayoungboy,
astudiopose.HelookedalotlikeDonavan,exceptthathiseyesweredark,andhehadamore
roundedface.Helookedsad.
"That'sJeff,"hetoldherfromthedoorway.Heleanedagainstit,waitingforthecoffeetobrew.His
longlegswerecrossed,likehisarms,andhelookedverymasculineandsexywithhisjacketoffand
thetopbuttonsofhisshirtunfastenedoverathicketofjetblackhair.
"Hefavorsyou,"sheremarked."Didyoursisterlooklikeyou?"
"Quitealot,"hesaid."Buthereyesweredarkerthanmine.Jeffhashisfather'seyes."
"Whatdoeshelike?"sheasked."Imean,isheasportsfan?"
"Hedoesn'tcaremuchforfootball.Helikesmartialarts,andhe'sgoodatthem.He'sabluebeltintae
kwondo—aKoreanmartialartthatconcentratesonkickingstyles."
"Isn'tthatademonstrationsportinthesummerOlympics?"Hesmiled,surprised."Yes,itis.Jeff
hopestobeabletoparticipateinthe1996summergamesinAtlanta."
"AgroupofAtlantansworkedveryhardtogetthegamestocomethere,"sherecalled."Oneofmy
friendsworkedinthearchivesatGeorgiaTech—alotofthepeopleoncampuswereactiveinthat
committee."
"Youdon'thavemanyfriendshere,doyou?"heasked.
"AbbyBallengerisafriend,"shecorrected."AndIgetalongwellwiththegirlsattheoffice."
"Imeantfriendsinyourownsocialclass."
SheputthepictureofJeffbackonthemantel."Ineverhadfriendsinmyownsocialclass.Idon'tlike
theirideaoffun."
"Don'tyou?"
Hemovedcloser.Hishandsslidaroundherwaistfrombehindandtuggedheragainsthim.Hischeek
nuzzledhersroughly."Whatwastheirideaoffun?"
"Sleepingaround,"shesaidhuskily."That's...suicidalthesedays.Allittakesisthewrongpartnerand
youcandie."
"Iknow."Hislipssliddownherlong,elegantneck.Histonguetipfoundthearteryatherthroatand
pressedthere,feelingitacceleratewildlyathistouch.Hisfingersslidtoherslenderhipsanddugin,
weldinghertohishardthighs.
"Donavan?"shewhisperedunsteadily.
Hishandsflattenedonherstomach,makingoddlittlemotionsthatsenttremorsdownherlonglegs
andarushofwarmthintoherbloodstream.
Shedidn'tactveryexperienced.Thecamouflagewasonlygoodatlongrange,hethoughtashedrank
inthegardeniascentofherskin.Heshouldhavebeendisappointed,becausehe'dwantedherbadly
tonight.Butsomethinginsidehimwaselatedathisgrowingsuspicionthatshewasinnocent.Hehad
tofindoutifitwastrue.
"Turnyourmouthupforme,Fay,"hewhisperedatherchin."Iwanttotasteitundermyown."
Thewordssentthrillsdowntohertoesandcurledthem.Blind,deaf,sheraisedherfaceandturnedit,
feelingthesuddenwarmpressureofhismouthonherpartedlips.
Itwasn'tatallwhathe'dexpected.Thecontactwasexplosive.He'dbeenincompletecontroluntilhe
touchedher.Now,suddenlyhewasfightingtokeephisheadatall.Heturnedherinhisarmsand
caughthisbreathashefeltherbodymelthungrilyintohis.
Itshouldn'thavehappenedlikethis.Hecouldbarelythink.Hishandsbitintothebacksofherthighs
andliftedher,pulledather,needingtheclosecontactashe'dneverneededanything.Hislegsbeganto
trembleashisbodywenttautandcapable,andhishandsbecameruthless.
Faymoaned.Neveratanytimeinherlifehadshefeltsuchasudden,viciousfeveroflonging.She
couldalwayspullback,untilnow.Withatinygasp,sheliftedherarmsaroundhisneckandgavein
completely.Shefelthimagainstherstomach,knewthathewasalreadypainfullyaroused.She
couldn'tmanageenoughwillpowertodenyhim,whateverthecost,whatevertherisk.Hewasgiving
herakindofpleasureshe'dneverdreamedofexperiencing.
Heinvadedthesilkjacketandtheblousesheworeunderit.Heunbuttonedthemanddrewthefabric
asidesecondsbeforehismouthwentdownagainstthebarecurveofherbreastaboveherlacybra.
She'dneverbeentouchedlikethat.Sheclungtohim,shiveringashislipsbecameruthless,hisface
rubbingthebrastrapasidesohecouldnuzzledownfarenoughtofindthehard,warmnipple.
Shecriedout.Itwasbeyondbearing,sensationuponhotsensation,anguishedjoy.Herfingerstangled
inhisthick,darkhairandpulledatitashesuckledherinasilencethrobbingwithneed.
"Youtasteofgardenias,"hebreathedurgently."Softandsweet...Fay...!"
Hishandswereasurgentashisvoice.Heunfastenedherbraandslidit,alongwithherhalf-
unbuttonedjacketandblouse,rightdowntoherwaist.Hisglazedeyeslingeredforonelongminute
ontheuncoveredpinkandmauvebeautyofhernakedbreastswiththeircrownshardandtip-tilted.
Thenhismouthandhishandsweretouchingthem,andshewasgloryinginhisownpleasure,inthe
sweetdelightofhisardor.
"Sobeautiful,"hewhisperedashedrewhisfaceoverhersoftbreasts."Fay,youmakemybodythrob.
Feelit.Feelme..."
Onehandwenttogatherherhipsclosetohis,toemphasizewhathewassaying.Shemoanedand
searchedblindlyforhismouth,invitingakissasdeepandardentasthehandenjoyinghersoftbreasts
inthestillnessoftheroom.
"Littleone,"hesaidhuskily,"doyouknowwhat'sgoingtohappenbetweenusnow?Doyouwant
me?"
"Yes!"shewhisperedachingly,hangingathislips.
Hisbodyshiveredwithitsblatantneed.Ithadneverbeensourgentbefore,withanywoman.Hebitat
hermouth."Doyouhaveanythingtouse?Areyouonthepill?"
Shehesitated."No."
No.Thewordechoedthroughhisswayingmind.No,shewasn'tprotected.Hecouldhaveher,buthe
couldalsomakeherpregnant.Pregnant!Hesaidsomethingexplicitandembarrassing,thenheputhis
handsonherupperarmsandthrustherawayfromhim.Hewentblindlytowardthekitchenand
slammedthedoorbehindhim.
Faysatdownonthesofa,fasteninghooksandbuttonswithhandssounsteadythatshemissedhalfthe
buttonsandhadtostartover.Itwasalongtimebeforeshewasbackinorderagain,andonlyafew
secondsafterthat,Donavancameinwithatrayofcoffee.
Shecouldn'tlookathim.Sheknewherfacelookedlikericepaper.Shewasstilltremblingvisibly,
too,hermouthredandswollen,herbreathingerraticandirregular.
Heputacupofblackcoffeeinfrontofherwithoutsayinganything.
Shedidn'traisehereyeswhenshefeltthesofadepressnearher.Shereachedforthecup,barelyable
toholditfortheunsteadinessofhericyfingers.
Abig,warmhandcametosupporthers,andwhenshelookedup,hiseyesweren'tangryatall.They
werefaintlycuriousandalmostaffectionate.
"Thankyou,"shestammeredasshesippedthehot,blackliquid.
Hesmiled.Arealsmile,notthemockingonesshewasusedto."You'rewelcome."
"I'msosorry...!"shebegannervously.
Heputalongfingeroverhersoftlips."No.Iam.Ishouldn'thaveletitgosofar."
"Youwereangry,"shesaidhesitantly,hereyesglancingwithsheerembarrassmentoffhisbeforethey
felltohercup.
"IwashotterthanI'vebeeninyearsandIhadtostop,"hesaidsimply,andwithoutanger."Itdoesn't
putamaninasparklingmood,letmetellyou."
"Oh."
Heleanedbackandsippedhisowncoffee,hiseyesquietandfaintlyacquisitive."Whyareyoustilla
virgin?"heaskedsuddenly.
Thecoffeecupmadeanosedive,andsheonlyjustcaughtitintime.Hergazehithiswithstaggering
impact."Whatdidyousay?"
"Youheardme,"heaccusedsoftly."Youcan'tevenputonanact,canyou?ThesecondItouchyou
intimately,you'remine."
Sheflushedandlookedaway."Rubitin,"sheinvited.
"Oh,Iintendto,"hesaidwithmaliciousglee."I'mnotsureI'veevermadelovetoavirgininmylife.
Itwasfascinating.Youjustgorightinheadfirst,don'tyou?There'snotevenasenseofself-
preservationinyou."
Sheglaredathim."Havingfun?"
"Sure."Herestedhisarmoverthebackofthesofaandhisgazewasslowandthoroughasitfellto
herbreastsandwatchedtheirsoftriseandfall."Prettylittlecreature,"hemused."Allpinkanddusk."
"Youstopthat,J.D.Langley,"shemutteredhotly."Itisn'tdecenttoeventalkaboutit."
Oneeyebrowwentup."Thisisthenineties,"heremindedher.
"Wonderful,"shetoldhim."Lifeisliberal.Nomorerulesandcodesofbehavior.Nowonderthe
world'samess."
Heleanedback,chuckling."Asithappens,Iagreewithyou.Rulesaren'tabadthing,whenthey
preventthekindofinsanitythat'sgrippingtheworldtoday.Butperiodically,peoplehavetofindthat
outforthemselves.EverheardoftheRoaringTwenties?"headded.
"Ginflowedlikewater,womensmoked,sexuallytransmitteddiseasesranrampantbecauseeverybody
waspromiscuous..."
"You'regettingtheidea.Butit'snothingnew.Peoplehadcycleswhenrulesweresuspendedevenback
intheRomanEmpire.Therewereorgiesandeveryevilknowntomanthrived.Thensocietywokeup
andthecyclestartedalloveragain.Theonlycertainthinginlife,MissYork,ischange."
"Isupposeso.Butit'sdiscouraging."
"Maybeyouhaven'theard,butthemajorityofpeopleinthiscountryfeelexactlythesamewayyou
do,"hesaid."Americaisstillaverymoralplace,littleone.Butit'swhat'sdifferentthatmakesnews,
notwhat'straditional."
"Isee."Shesmiled."That'sencouraging."
"Youcomefromwealth.Oddthatyoudon'thaveanexaggeratedsenseofmoralitytogowithit."
"Youmean,becauseIwasrich,Ishouldbegreedyandpleasure-lovingandindifferenttomyfellow
man?"sheteased."Actually,that'sastereotype."
"Igetthepicture."Hestaredathersilently,hiseyesgrowingdarkwithmemory."Iwantedyoulike
hell.Butinaway,I'mgladyouaren'tonthepill."
Sheeyedhimcuriously."Youdidn'tsoundglad."
"Wantinghurtsamanwhenhecan'tsatisfyit,"heexplainedmatter-of-factly."Butyouweren'tonthe
pillandIdidn'thaveanythingwithmetoprotectyoufrompregnancy.That'soneriskI'llnevertake."
Shesmiledathim."Ifeelthesameway."
Hiseyeswanned."We'dbetternotcreateanyaccidentalpeople,"hesaidsoftly."That'swhyIstopped.
That,"headded,"andthefactthatI'mtooold-fashionedtodishonorachastewoman.Goahead.
Laugh,"heinvited."Butit'showIfeel."
"Oh,Donavan,youandIarethrowbackstoanothertime,"shesaidheavily."There'snoplaceforus
onearth."
"Why,surethereis,honey,"hedisagreed."I'llcarryyoutochurchwithmeoneSundayandproveto
youthatwe'renotaloneinthewaywethink.Listen,it'stheradicalswhoaretheminority."Heleaned
closer."Buttheradicalsaretheoneswhomakenews."
Shelaughed."Iguessso.I'dliketogotochurchwithyou,"shesaidshyly."Ihaven'tbeeninalong
time.Ourhousekeeperusedtoletmegotoserviceswithher,butwhenshequitIhadnowaytoget
there.ItwasbeforeIwasoldenoughtodrive."
"Poorlittlerichgirl,"hesaid,buthesmiledandthewordssoundedaffectionate.
Shesmiledback.Everythinghadchanged,suddenly.Shelookedathimandknewwithoutquestionthat
shecouldlovehimifshewasevergiventhechance.
Hereachedoutandtappedhercheek."Let'sgo.Andfromnowon,stayoutoflonelyranchhouses
withamorousbachelors.Gotthat?"
"Youweretheonewhodraggedmehere,"sheexclaimed.
"That'sright,blameitallonme,"heagreedafterhe'dputthecoffeethingsawayandthenescortedher
outthedoor."It'salwaysthemanwholeadsthesweet,innocentgirlintoalifeofsin."
Shefrowned."Isn'titthewomanwho'ssupposedtoleadtheinnocentmanintoit?"
Heraisedbotheyebrowsashelockedthedoor."Therearen'tanyinnocentmen."
"Alikelystory.Whataboutpriestsandmonks?"
Hesighed."Well,otherthanthem,"heconceded.
"Ilikeyourhouse,"shesaid.
Heopenedthecardoorandputherinside."Ilikeit,too."Hegotinandstartedtheengine,pausingto
glanceherway."Wemaybeheadingforafall,butI'mgameifyouare."
"Game?"sheaskedblankly.
Heslidaleanhandunderhernapeandbroughtherfaceunderhis,verygently.Hebenttokissher,
withtendernessandrespect."Intheolddays,"hewhispered,"theycalleditcourting."
Shefeltawaveofheatrushoverher.Wide-eyed,shestaredhelplesslyupathim.
Henodded,hisfacesolemn."That'sright,IsaidIdidn'tbelieveinmarriage.Butthere'salwaysthe
onewomanwhocanmakeamanchangehismind."Hiseyesdroppedtohermouth."IwantJeff.IfI'm
marriedIhaveagoodchanceofgettinghim.ButyouandIcouldgiveeachotheralot,too.Ifyou're
willing,we'llstartspendingtimetogetherandseewhereitleads."
"I'mrich,"shebeganhesitantly.
"Don'tworry.Iwon'tholditagainstyou,"hewhispered,smilingashekissedheragain.Whathe
didn'tmentionwasthathehadhisownsuspicionsaboutherfuture.Hedidn'tthinkshewasgoingto
inheritanythingatall,andthatwouldputherrightinhisleague.She'dbelostandalone,exceptfor
him,whentheboomfell.Shewassweetandbiddableandhewantedher.Jeffneededastable
environment.Itwouldn'thurthischanceswiththenewpresidentofMesaBlancotobeasettledfamily
man,either,butthatwasonlyaminorconsideration.Jeffcamefirst.He'dworryaboutthe
complicationslater.Rightnow,hewasgoingtogetinoverhisheadforoncewithoutlookingtoo
closelyathismotives.
ChapterFive
ItwasallFaycoulddotoworkthenextday.Shewassolightheartedthatshewonderedhowshe
managedtokeepbothfeetonthefloor.
HerdreamsofbeingwithDonavanhonestlyhadn'tincludedmarriagebecausehe'dsaidthathedidn't
believeinit.Infact,he'dgivenherhellforchasinghim.Howironicthatshe'dlandedinhisorbitat
all.
Probably,shehadtoadmit,heneededawifesothathecouldgaincustodyofhisnephew,andtohelp
himgetaheadinhisjob.Hedidn'twantarichwife..Butwhy,then,washepayingheranyattentionat
all?She'dbeenhonestwithhim.She'dtoldhimthatinacoupleofweeksshestoodtoinheritafortune.
Hadn'thebelievedher?
Workpiledupandsherealizedthatshewaspayingmoreattentiontoherownthoughtsthanshewas
toherjob,soshesettleddowntothejob-relatedproblems.
“How'severythinggoing?"AbbyaskedwhenshecamebytomeetCalhounforlunch.
"Great!"
Abbyliftedacuriouseyebrow."Really?"
Sheglancedaroundherandleanedforward.“Donavan'stakingmeout."
"J.D.?"
"Don'tlooksohorrified,"Faylaughed."He'sserious.Hewastheperfectgentlemanlastnightandhe
actuallytalkedaboutacommitment."
"J.D.?"
Faynodded."J.D.Didyouknowhehadanephewandthere'sacustodysuitintheoffing?"
"Yes,"Abbysaid,soberingatonce."Thepoorlittleboy'shadahardtime.Idon'tlikeJ.D.alot,butI'll
givehimcreditforcaringaboutJeff.Hereallydoes."Shefrowned."Isthatwhyhe'stalking
seriously?"
"Probably,"Faysaid,thenshesmiled."Idon'thaveanyillusionsthathe'ssuddenlydiscovered
undyingloveforme.Buthemightlearntolovemeoneday.Lovetakestime."
"Yes,"Abbysaid,remembering."Butyou'restillrich."
"Hesaiditwouldn'tmatter."
Abbydidn'tsayanotherword,untilshewasalonewithCalhoun."I'mafraidFay'sheadingforabad
fall,"shetoldhimwhentheyweresharingaquicklunch."J.D.doesn'tseemtomindabouther
inheritance,butyouknowhowheisaboutrichwomen."
"Ithinkhe'sgotsomesuspicionsthatherUncleHenryisn'ttellinghereverything.Ihavesomeofmy
own,"headded."IwonderifFayhasanythinglefttoinherit."
"Ihadthesamefeeling.PoorFay.J.D.doesn'tloveher,Iknowhedoesn't.He'stoomuchofa
womanizertofeelanythingdeepforawoman."
Calhounliftedaneyebrowandpursedhislips."Hemaybeareformingwomanizer."Hecoveredher
handwithhisandclaspeditaffectionately."WeallmeetourWaterlooeventually.God,I'mgladImet
minewithyou!"
"Oh,soamI,mydarling,"shesaidsoftly.Sheleanedforwardandkissedhimtenderly,despitethe
amusedlooksfromotherdiners."Youandtheboysaremywholelife."
"We'vehadagoodbeginning,"heagreed."Andthebestisstillyettocome.We'reverylucky."
"Very.IhopeFayfaresaswell,"sheaddedbeforesheconcentratedonherfoodinsteadofhersexy
husband.
Faydidn'tseeDonavanagainforafewdays.He'dphonedjusttosaythathewasgoingoutoftownon
businessandthathe'dcallherwhenhegotback.Hehadn'tsoundedanythinglikeanimpatientlover,
althoughhehadsoundedimpatient,asifhehadn'twantedtocallherinthefirstplace.She'dbeen
moroseeversince,wonderingifhe'dhadsecondthoughts.Herjoydeflatedalmostatonce.
FromthedayDonavanleft,herlifewentdownhill.TwodayslatershehadtogotoseeBarryHolman
aboutherinheritance.AnervousUncleHenrywasintheofficewhenshegotthere,andMr.Holman
didn'tlookveryhappy.
"Sitdown,Fay,"Barrysaidquietly,standinguntilshewasseated.
"It'sbadnews,isn'tit?"sheasked,lookingfromoneofthemtotheotherwithquick,uneasyeyes.
"I'mafraidso,"Barrybegan,andwentontotellherthebadnews.Shewaspenniless.
"I'msorry,honey,"UncleHenrysaidheavily."Ididmybest,honesttoGodIdid.IpushedyouatSean
becauseIhopedthetwoofyoumighthititoff.Sean'srich."Hisshouldersmovedhelplessly."I
thoughtifyoumarriedhim,youwouldn'thavetogiveupsomuch."
"Whydidn'tyoutellme?"sheaskedmiserably.
"Ididn'tknowhow,"hereplied."Yourfatherwasaspeculator,butforonce,hepickedthewrongthing
tospeculateon.Ididn'tknowuntilafewweeksagomyself,whenItriedtoliquidatethestock.Itfell
almostovernight.There'snothingleft.Justnothing."Hespreadhishands."Fay,youcanalwayscome
backandlivewithme..."
"Ihaveajob,"shesaidthinly,rememberingalmostatoncethatitwasonlyatemporaryjoband
wouldsoonend.Shefeltlikecrying.
"YoustillhavetheMercedes,"Barrysaidsurprisingly."Yourfatherhadtheforesighttotakeout
insurancethatwouldpayitoffifhedied.That'syours,andithasahighresalevalue.Icouldhandle
thatforyou,ifyoulike.Thenyou'dhavealittlereadycapitalandenoughovertobuyasmallercar."
"I'dappreciatethat,"shesaiddully."I'llgetthepaperstogetherandbringthembyinthemorning,if
that'sallright."
"Thatwillbefine.Therearejustafewmoredetails,andI'llneedyoursignatureinseveralplaces..."
Fayhardlyheardanythingelsethatwassaid.Shefeltnumb.Inshock.Justaweekago,she'dbeenin
Donavan'sarmswithawholefuturetolookforwardtoandaninheritancetofallbackon.Nowshe
hadnothingatall.EvenDonavanhadseemedtohavesecondthoughts,becausehe'dcertainlydropped
herflat.
Whatifhe'donlywantedherforthemoneyinthefirstplace?shethoughtwithhysteria.Ortohelp
himprovideasettledhomesothathecouldgetcustodyofhisnephew?
Themoresheworrieditinhermind,theworseitgot.Donavanhadn'twantedherwhenshewasrich,
he'dmadesuresheknewit.Thenallatonce,aboutthetimehedecidedtofightforcustodyofhis
nephew,hebecamesuddenlyinterestedinher.
Itallfit.Theonlythingthatdidn'twashisabruptlackofinterest.Hadhedecidedhedidn'tneedher
afterall?Well,shewouldn'tdohimmuchgoodnow,shethoughtwildly.Shewasjustanother
memberoftheworkingclass,andwhatwasshegoingtodowhenherjobfolded?
Shewentthroughthemotionsofherjobfortherestoftheday,white-facedandterrified.Calhoun
noticed,butwhenheaskedwhatwaswrong,sheonlysmiledandpretendeditwasaheadache.
Thatdidn'tfoolhim.Heknewtoomuchaboutwomen.HepickedupthephoneandcalledBarry
Holman.
"Iknowit'sallconfidentialandyoucan'ttellmeanything,"Calhounsaid."Butyoucanpausein
significantplaces.Ionlywanttohelp.Faydidn'tgetadamnedthingdidshe?"
Therewasalongpause.
"That'swhatIthought,"Calhounsaidquietly."Poorkid."
"Shereallyneedsthatjob,"Barryreplied."Knowingit'sonlytemporaryisprobablyeatingherup.
She'sneverhadtodependonherselfbefore."
"Noproblemthere,"Calhounreturned,smiling."Fay'sgotajobhereaslongasshecantype.We'll
findanicheforher.DamnHenry!"
"Nothisfault,"Barrysaid."Abadinvestmentgonesour,that'sall.Theoldstory,butatragiconefor
Fay.Allshe'sgotleftistheMercedes.Andyoudidn'thearthisfromme,"headdedfirmly.
"Ofcoursenot!I'lljustsortofmentionthatshe'sworkingouttoowelltoletgoandwewanttokeep
heron."
Barrychuckled."She'llappreciatethat."
"Weappreciateher.Foradebutante,she'sahellofahardworker."Hiseyesnarrowed."Seeyou,"he
said,andhungup.Hehadanothercalltomake.
HedialedJ.D.Langley'snumber.
"Hello?"cametheabruptreply.
"Ithoughtyouwereoutoftown,"Calhounsaidcurtly.
"Iwas.Ijustgotinfifteenminutesago.Iwashavingacupofcoffee.What'swrong?"heasked.
“Somethingaboutthecattle?"
“SomethingaboutFayYork,"Calhounsaid.
Therewasadeathlyhush."Hasanythinghappenedtoher?"heasked,feelingasifthegroundhadbeen
cutoutfromunderhim."Issheallright?"
Calhounfeltrelieved.Thatwasgenuineconcernintheotherman'svoice.Ofcourse,andhehated
himselfforthinkingofit,itcouldbethatJ.D.wascountingonFay'smoneytohelphimgethis
nephew.Ifhewas,hewasgoingtodoFayabigfavor.
"I'mgoingtotellyousomethingI'mnotsupposedtoknow,"hesaid."Youaren'tsupposedtoknowit,
either,sodon'tleton."
"What?"
"Faydidn'tgetapenny.Herfatherlosteverything.AllsheinheritsistheMercedes."
J.D.didn'tsayanything,andCalhounfeltsorryforFay.Untilthesoundofsoftlaughtercameoverthe
lineandeasedhismind.
"Soshe'sbusted,"Donavansaidwarmly."Ihadafeelingitwouldworkoutlikethat.I'msorryforher,
butI'mdamnedgladinaway.Iwouldn'twantpeopletothinkanotherLangleywastakingtheeasy
wayoutwitharichwife."
"You'rereallyseriousabouther?"Calhounasked,surprised.
"Whyisthatsohardtobelieve?Youmusthavenoticedthatshe'sgotaheartasbigasalloutdoors,"
hereplied.Thenhespoileditallbyadding,"She'sjustthekindoffostermotherJeffneeds."
"Youaren'tgoingtomarryheroveracustodysuit?"
"Whateveritis,isnoneofyourbusiness,Ballenger,"J.D.saidwithicypoliteness."IfFaywantsto
marryme,that'sheraffair."
"Andifshelovesyou,whatthen?"
"Sheisn'toldenoughtoloveanyoneyet,"Donavansaidcarelessly."She'sinfatuatedwithme,andshe
needsalittlesecurity.Icangiveherenoughtomakeherhappy."
Calhouncalledhimanamehewouldn'thavewantedAbbytohear."You'relowerthanIgaveyou
creditfor,"headdedcoldly.
"Andit'sstillnoneofyourdamnedbusiness.I'llbeintocheckontheMesaBlancostockinthe
morning."Hehungup,leavingCalhounfurious.
AfterhanginguponCalhoun,Donavansippedhiscoffeewithoutreallytastingit.HewasfondofFay,
andphysicallysheappealedtohimasnootherwomanhad.Shewasinnocent,andthataloneexcited
him.Hecouldmakeherhappy.
ButthethingwastogetJeff,torescuetheboywhowashissister'sonlychildfromthehellhewas
livingin.Ithadtakenallhispowersofpersuasionandalotoftongue-bitingtogethisvenomous
brother-in-lawtoletJeffcomeupherejustforthespringholidays.Possessionwasnine-tenthsofthe
law.HehadJeffandhewasgoingtokeephim.He'dalreadytalkedtothelawyerhesharedwithMesa
Blancoaboutfilingforcustody,sothewheelswereturning.
"Areyousureyouwon'tmindhavingmearound,UncleDon?"Jeffaskedfromhissprawledposition
inthearmchair.Withhiscrewcutandhuskyphysique,helookedtheverypictureofaboywhowasall
boy.
"No,sport,Iwon't,"Donavansaid."Wegetalongprettygoodmostofthetime."
Jeffsmiled."Surewedo.Canwegoridingtomorrow?"
"Maybe.Firstwehavetogotothefeedlotandcheckuponthefeedercattle.There'ssomeoneIwant
youtomeet."
"Fay,right?"heasked,smilingagainathisuncle'ssurprise."Shewasallyoutalkedaboutonthe
plane,"headded.
Donavanlitacigaranddidn'tlookattheboy.Hehadn'trealizedthathe'dbeensotransparent.He'd
missedFay,buthedidn'tlikeadmittingiteventohimself.He'dbeenfootlooseallhislife.Evenifhe
marriedFayforJeffssake,hedidn'tintendgivinguphisfreedom.
"Aren'tyougoingtocallher?"Jeffasked.
"No,"Donavansaid,frowning.Hedidwantto,buthewasn'tgoingtogiveintohisimpulse.Betterto
startthewayhemeanttogoon,andactinglikeaboywithacrushwasn'tgoingtokeephimincontrol
ofhislife.
"It'snicehere,"Jeffsaidafteraminute."Ihatemilitaryschool.Youcan'tdoanythingwithoutper-
mission.”
"Don'texpecttobeabletorunwildhere,"hisunclecautioned.
"No,Idon't.Butyoulikeme,atleast.Mystepfatherhatesmyguts,"headdedcoldly."Especiallynow
thathe'smarriedherandthey'reexpectingtheirownchild.Hedidn'tevenlovemymother,didyou
know?"
Donavan'sfacehardened."Iknew,"hesaid.Hedidn'telaborateonit,butheknewverywellthathis
brother-in-law'sblatantaffairshadallbutkilledhissister.She'dlovedtheman,buthiswomanizing
haddepressedhertothepointofmadness.Asimplecaseofpneumoniahadtakenheroutofthis
world,outofhertorment,leavingaheartbrokenbrotherandsonbehindtomournher.Donavanhad
hatedJeffsstepfathereversince.Betterhissisterhadstayedinmourningforherfirsthusbandthan
pitchheadlongintoasecondmarriagethatwasdoomedfromthestart.
."Whatdidsheseeinhim?"Jeffaskedmiserably."Hedrinkslikeafishandhe'salwaysoff
somewhere.Ithinkhe'srunningaroundonhisnewwifealready."
Itwouldn'tsurpriseDonavan.Afterall,hethoughtviciously,hewasrunningaroundwithhiscurrent
wifewhilehewasstillmarriedtoDonavan'ssister.
"Let'sforgetheexistsforafewdays,"hetoldJeff."Howaboutagameofchess?"
"Super!"
WhileDonavanandJeffwereplayingchess,Faywastryingtocometogripswithhernewsituation.
She'dalwayssecretlywonderedhowshewouldcopeifsheeverlosteverything.Nowwasherbig
chance,shethoughtwithblackhumor,tofindout.Ifshecouldconquerherfearofhavingher
livelihooddependonherownefforts,shecouldmanage.ThankgoodnessDonavanhadmadeher
takeagoodlookatherselfandstartlearningindependence.Ifshe'dstillbeenlivingwithUncleHenry
now,shereallywouldhavebeenterrified.
Sheunderstoodnowwhyherunclehadbeensoeagertopushherathisbusinessassociate,Sean.It
hadbeenoutofamisplacedprotectiveinstinct.He'dhopedshe'dmarrySeanandbesecurewhenshe
foundouttherewasnothingleftofherparents'estate.
Eventhoughshewasgratefulforhisconcern,shewishedhe'dtoldhersooner.Sheputherfaceinher
hands.Well,shecouldalwayswritetoGreat-AuntTessieandbegforhelpifthingsgottoobad.She
andtheoldladyhadalwayskeptintouch.Infact,therewasnooneelsewholovedTessiejustbecause
ofhersweetselfandnothermoney.Fayalwaysrememberedtheelderlywoman'sbirthday.She
wonderedifanyoneelseeverhad.Certainlynotherparents.
ShewipedthetearsawayandwonderedwhenDonavanwascomingback.Hemightnotwanthernow.
Shehadtofacethefactthatwithoutherwealth,despitewhathe'dsaidaboutnotwantingawealthy
woman,hemightwalkawaywithoutlookingback.Timewouldtell.Fornow,shehadenoughtokeep
herbusy.ShegotupfromherchairandwenttofindthepaperworkontheMercedes.Atleastitwould
bringatidysum,andgiveherabadlyneedednestegg—
Thenextmorningaftershe'ddroppedthepapersoffatBarryHolman'soffice,shewasworkingaway
whentheofficedooropenedandDonavanLangleycameinwithadark-hairedboyathisside.
Sohewasback.AndthathadtobeJeff.Herheartranwild,butshepinnedapolitesmiletoherfaceas
heapproachedherdesk.
“Goodmorning,"shesaidpolitely.
"ThisisJeff,"herepliedwithoutansweringher."Jeff,thisisFayYork."
"Nicetomeetyou,"Jeffsaid.Hewaswatchingherwithopencuriosity."You'repretty."
Sheflushed."Thankyou."
Jeffgrinned."Myunclelikesyou."
"That'senough,"Donavandrawled."Gooutandlookatthecattle.Butdon'tgetintheway,andstay
outofthepens."
"Yes,sir!"
Hewasoffatadeadrun,barelymissingoneoftheamusedcowboys."Keepaneyeonhim,willyou,
Ted?"Donavancalled.
"Surething,Mr.Langley,"thecowboyreplied,andturnedonhisheeltofollowJeff.
"He'simpulsiveandhightempered,"Donavantoldher."Ihavetowatchhimlikeahawksothathe
doesn'thurthimself."Hesearchedhereyeswithnoparticularexpressiononhisleanface,buthis
silvereyeswereglitterywithcontainedexcitement.Shestirredhimup.He'dmissedhermorethanhe
wantedtoadmit.Butshewasn'treceptivetoday.Thatsmilewasasartificialastheficusplantinthepot
besideherdesk.
"Didyouhaveanicetrip?"sheaskedforsomethingtobreakthesilence.
Henodded."JeffandIgotinlastnight."
Andhehadn'tcalled.Well,nowsheknewwhereshestood.Thefixedsmiledidn'twaver,evenifshe
hadgoneashadepaler."He'sanicelookingyoungman."
"Hefavorshismother.Howaboutlunch?Youcangowithustothehamburgerjoint."
Shewantedto,butitwasbettertobreakthisoffnowevenifitkilledher.Thingscouldonlyget
worse,andherlifewasinutterturmoil.
"Ican'ttoday,butthanksanyway."
Hestarted."Whycan'tyou?"
"IhavetoseeMr.HolmanaboutsellingtheMercedes,"shesaidwithstiffpride."You'llfindout
soonerorlater,soImightaswelltellyou.Idon'thaveanymoney.Myparentsleftmewithouta
dime."Sheliftedherchinandstaredathimfearlessly."AllIhaveistheMercedesandit'sgoingonthe
marketsothatI'llhaveanesteggforemergencies."
Hedidn'tlikethewayshesaidthat.Shemadeitsoundasifhisonlyinterestinherwaswhatshehad.
Didn'tsheknowitwasherwealththathadstoodbetweentheminthefirstplace?
Hescowled."Themoneydidn'tmatter."
"Didn'tit?"sheaskedbravely.
Hisgrayeyesnarrowed."SoyoudidbelieveBartafterall.YouthinkI'masmoney-crazyasmy
father."Hisexpressionwenthardwithcontainedrage.He'dthoughtsheknewhimbetterthanthat.It
hurttorealizethatshewasjustlikeseveralotherpeopleinJacobsvillewhotarredhimwiththesame
brushthey'dusedonhisfather."Allright,honey.Ifthat'sthekindofmanyouthinkIam,thentake
yourdamnedMercedesandgotohellwithit,"hesaidcuttingly.HeturnedandwentafterJeff.
Faycouldn'tbelieveshe'dsaidsuchathingtohim.Notthatitwouldmakeanydifference,shekept
assuringherself.Hedidn'twantherinthefirstplace,soallshe'ddonewassaveherselfalittlemore
heartache.
Donavandidn'tcomebackthroughtheofficeonhiswayout.HetookJeffwithhimthebackroute,
stormyandunapproachable,smokinghiscigarlikeafurnaceallthewaytothecar.
"What'seatingyou?"Jeffaskedcuriously.
"Nothing.Whatdoyouwantforlunch?"
"Acheeseburger.IthoughtyousaidFaywascomingwithus?Didn'tshewantto?"
"Shewasbusy,"hesaidcurtly."Getin."
Jeffshrugged.Hewonderedifhewasevergoingtounderstandadults.
CalhounpausedbyFay'sdesk,noticingherwornexpressionandtremblinghands.
"J.D.'sbeenby,Igather,"hesaiddryly.
Sheliftedhermiserableeyestohis."Youmightsaythat.HehadJeffwithhim."
"Andleftyouhere?"
Shesatupstraighten"ItoldhimIdidn'thaveanymoney.Heleft."
Hewhistled."Notawisemove,Fay,"Calhounsaidgently."Donavan'stouchyaboutmoney.Youknew
thathisfather—?"
"Yes,Iknew,"shecuthimoffgently."It'sforthebest,"shesaid."Hedidn'treallycareaboutme.Ifhe
wantedmeatallitwasbecausehehadabetterchanceofkeepingJeffifIwasaround.I'mnotstupid.I
knowhedoesn'tloveme."
Calhounwantedtodenythat,toreassureher,butitwaspatentlyobviousthatshewasright,J.D.
Langleywasn'tthehearts-and-rosestype,buthesuredidn'tactlikeamaninlove.
"It'searlydaysyet,"hetoldher,wantingtosaysomethingpositive."Givehimtime.J.D.'sbeenaloner
eversinceI'veknownhim.He'salotlikeJustin.Maybethat'swhytheygetalongsowell.Ihaveto
admit,heandIhaveneverbeenparticularlyfriendly,butthatdoesn'thaveanythingtodowithyou."
"IguessIshouldapologize,"shebegan.
"Oh,notyet,"hesaid,smiling."Lethimsweatforawhile.Itwilldohimgoodtobeonthereceiving
endforonce."
"Youmean,he'susuallytheonewhodoesthejilting,"shesaid,sighingassherememberedhow
experiencedhewas."Iguesshe'sdonehisshareofbreakinghearts."
"Becarefulofyours,"Calhounsaidseriously."There'ssomethingIwanttomentiontoyou.Itoldyou
thatthisjobwastemporary,justuntilNitacameback."Hehesitated,noticingherdepressedlookas
shenodded."Well,Iwanttoofferittoyoupermanently.Ineedasecretaryofmyown,andNitaworks
alotbetterwithJustinthanshedoeswithme.Whatdoyousay?We'vebeenthinkingofaddinga
secretary,butuntilyoucamealong,weweren'tsureexactlywhatwewanted.Yousuitmeandweseem
toworkprettywelltogether.Besides,"headdedonachuckle,"AbbymightdivorcemeifIletyougo.
Shethinksalotofyou."
"Ithinkalotofher."Faybrightenedmagically."Youreallymeanit?"
"Imeanit.Ifyouwantthejobpermanently,it'syours."
"AndNitawon'tmindworkingjustforJustin?"
"I'vealreadyaskedher.Shealmostkissedmyfeet.Itseemsthatshe'sonlybeenputtingonabraveface
abouthandlingtheworkloadforbothofus.Gettingsomereliefhasgivenheranewleaseonlife.She
saidshewasactuallythinkingofstayinghomewiththebabyjusttogetawayfromthework."
"ThenI'dlovethejob,thankyou,"shesaidbrightly."YouhavenoideahowmuchIenjoyworking
here.Besides,"sheconfessed,notrealizingthathealreadyknewhersituation,"I'mafraidI'mgoing
tohavetoworkfortherestofmylife.Myparentsdidn'tleavemeanything.I'mflatbroke."
"Inthatcase,we'llbehelpingeachotherout,"hesaid."Sowelcomeaboard."
"Thanks,Calhoun,"shesaid,andmeantit."Thanksverymuch."
"Mypleasure."
Sheturnedherattentionbacktohercomputerwithanimprovedoutlook.Atleastshehadajob,even
ifshedidn'thaveJ.D.Langley.Butthatmightstillbeforthebest.She'donlyhavebeenlettingherself
inforalotofheartache.Itwasbetternottoevenbeginsomethingthatwasblightedfromthestart.
Anditwasn'tasifhelovedher.Shehadtokeeprememberingthat.
Themandrivingbacktowardhomewastryingtokeepitinmindhimself,whilehefumedinwardlyat
Fay'sattitude.Hewasn'tmercenary,butshethoughthewas.Likefather,likeson.Hegroaned
inwardly.Wouldheneverbefreeofthestigma?
Jeffhadn'tsaidaword,andDonavancouldn'tbringhimselftotelltheboywhyFaywouldn'tcometo
lunchwiththem.Shethoughthe'donlybeenkeepingcompanywithherbecauseofhermoney,when
he'dalreadytoldherhedidn'tlikerichwomen.
Butinallhonesty,hehadtoadmitthathe'dgivenhernorealreasontothinkshewasofvaluetohim
asaperson.He'dtalkedmuchmoreaboutgettingcustodyofJeffthanofwantingherforherself.He'd
madelovetoherlightly,buteventhatcouldhaveconvincedherthatitwasdesiremingledwiththe
needforawomantoaidhiscasetokeepJeff.
Hefrowned.Hehadn'tgivenheranychanceatall.Tocompoundit,he'dtoldherthathe'dbeenbackin
townforalmostawholedayandhadn'tevenbotheredtophoneher.Hegroanedinwardly.He'dmade
somanymistakes.
Worstofall,hehadn'tconsideredherfeelings.She'djustbeentoldthatshe'dlosteverything.Allshe
hadtohernamewasaMercedes-Benzthatshewasgoingtohavetosell.Itwasmorethanan
inheritanceshe'dlost—itwasherwholewayoflife.Shehadtobeterrifiedatbeingresponsiblefor
herself.Shewasonlytwenty-one,andsoalone,becausesheandheruncleweren'tclose.She'dneeded
comfortandhelp,andhe'dtoldhertogotohell.
"Youlookterrible,UncleDon,"Jeffbrokethetensesilence."Areyousureyou'reokay?"
"Notyet.ButIwillbe,"hesaid,andabruptlyturnedaroundinhisownfrontyardandheadedright
backtowardtown.Itwasquittingtime,soFaywouldmostlikelybeathome.Hedidn'tknowwhathe
wasgoingtosaytoher.He'dthinkofsomething.
ChapterSix
Fayhadthoughtaboutstayinglateattheoffice,justtokeephermindbusy,butintheendshedecided
shewouldbeequallywell-offathome.Shesaidgood-nighttoherco-workersanddrovetheshort
distancebacktoherapartmenthouse.
TheMercedesfeltuncomfortablenowthatshewasaworkinggirl.ItwasjustaswellthatMr.Holman
wasgoingtohelphersellit.Therewouldbenomoreluxurycars,nomoreshoppingspreesthat
didn'tincludelookingatpricetags.Therewouldbenomoredesignerclothes.Nobottomlessbank
accounttofallbackon.Shecouldhavecried.Shewouldmakeit.Sheknewshewould.Butgetting
usedtohercircumstanceswasgoingtotakealittletime.
Shegotoutofthecarandwaswalkingontothefrontporchwhensheheardtheroarofavehicleand
sawDonavandrivingupnexttotheMercedeswithJeffbesidehim.
Notanotherfight,sheprayedsilently,herwanfaceresignedandmiserableevenifhereyesdidlight
uphelplesslyattheverysightofhimwhenhegotoutandapproachedher.
Hestoppedjustinfrontofher,hisownexpressionsomber.Shelookedbad.Thecamouflageshe'd
hiddenherfearsbehindhadvanishednow,becauseshewastiredandherguardwasdown.Hereached
outandtouchedhermouth,dryanddevoidoflipstick.
"I'msorry,"hesaidwithoutpreamble."Ididn'tthinkabouthowyoumustfeeluntilIwasbackhome."
Theunexpectedcompassion,ontopoftheemotionalturmoilshe'dbeenthrough,crackedinsideher.
Tearspoureddownhercheeks.
“I’msorry,too,"shemanagedbrokenly."Oh,Donavan,Ididn'tmeanit...!"
Hisbreathcaughtathervulnerability,andhewasgladhe'dmadethedecisiontocomeback.Withouta
word,hebentandliftedherinhishardarmsandstartedbacktowardhiscar,kissingthetearsawayas
hewent,whisperingcomfortingthingsthatshedidn'tquitehear.
Jeffsawthemcomingand,withagrin,movedintothebackseat.Donavanwinkedathimbeforehe
slidFayintothepassengerseatandtrussedherupinherseatbelt.
"Stayput,"hetoldher."We'rekidnappingyou."
"Whatwillmylandlordthink?"sheaskedwithawaterysmile.
"Thatyou'rebeingkidnapped,ofcourse.We'lltakeherhomeandholdherprisoneruntilshecooks
supperforus,"hetoldJeff,whowassmilingfromeartoear."Ifshe'sagoodcook,I'llmarryher
rightaway."
Faywastryingnottochoke."Butyoutoldmetogoto...!"shebegan.
"Notinfrontoftheboy,"hesaidwithamockglower."Heisn'tsupposedtoknowwordslikethat."
"Whatcenturyishelivingin?"Jeffasked,rollinghiseyes."Gimmeabreak,man!"
"ToomuchTV,"Donavansaid."We'llhavetotakeaplugoutoftheset."
Fay'sheadwaswhirling."But,Donavan,Ican'tcook.Thatis,Ican,"shefaltered,wipingathereyes.
"Butonlyomeletsandbacon."
"Noproblem,"hesaidashestartedthecar."Ilikebreakfast.Don'tyou,Jeff?"
"Sure!"
Shegaveup.Inthescantminutesittookthemtogettotheranch,she'ddriedhertearsandmanagedto
gatherhercomposure.Shestilldidn'tunderstandwhathadpromptedDonavantocomeafterher,
despitethewayshe'dinsultedhim,butshewasn'tgoingtoquestionakindlyfate.
JeffwasinaflamingrushtogettothelivingroomforoneofhisfavoriteTVprograms,leaving
DonavantoescortawornFayintothekitchen.
"MindBee,"hemurmured,steppingaroundthekittenassherushedtowardthem.
"I'lltakecareofher,UncleDon,"Jeffinterrupted.Hescoopedupthekitten,poppedbackintothe
livingroomandclosedthedoorbehindhim.Theblareofthetelevisioncouldbeheardeventhrough
it.
"Thenoisetakesalittlegettingusedto,"Donavansaidslowly.HestudiedFay,whosehairwas
stragglyasitcameloosefromitsneatchignon."Whydoyouwearitlikethat,anyway?"heasked
gently,movingfartooclosetoher.Hisleanhandsdeftlyseparatedhairpinsfromupsweptstrands,
looseningthedarkcloudofherhairaroundhershoulders."That'sbetter,"hewhispered."Nowyou
looklikemyFayagain."
Atinysobbrokefromherlipsatthetenderness.Somehowshe'dneverassociateditwithhimuntil
now.
"Isaidsuchterriblethingstoyou,"shewhisperedback,hereyeseloquent.
"Isaidsuchterriblethingsback,"hemurmured,smiling."Wehadalovers'quarrel.Nothingtolose
sleepover.Everything'sallrightnow."
"Wearen'tlovers,"sheprotested.
Hiseyessearchedhers."We'regoingtobe,though."
Sheflushed."I'mnotlikethat."
Hebentanddrewhislipswithachingtendernessoverherown,gentlypartingthem.Hishandswentto
herhipsandbroughtthemfirmlyintothecradleofhis,sothatshecouldfeeleveryvibrantmuscle
andtendonofhimclose,closeagainsthersoftness.
"Comeon,baby,"hebreathedintoheropenmouth."Don'tmakemefightforit...."
Shelostthewilltoprotestthesecondshefelthistonguegoingpastherlips,intothedarknessbeyond.
Awhite-hotflashofsensationrippledherbodyinhisarms,stiffenedher.Shecaughtherbreathand
thenreleaseditinalong,shudderingsighthathecouldfeelandtaste.
"Yes,"hesaidhuskily."That'sit.That'sit!"
Heliftedherbythewaist,turningherdeftlytothewall.Hepinnedhertherewithhisbody,hislong
legspushingbetweenherthighsashepenetratedhermouthwithquick,hardthruststhatsimulateda
kindofjoiningshe'dneverexperienced.
Whenhefinallyliftedhishead,shecouldn'tseeanythingexcepthisswollenmouth.Herbodywas
throbbing,likethetinybreathsthatpulsedoutofher,likeherheartinherthroat.
Heleanedcloserandbitherlowerlip,nothardenoughtohurt,butquitehardenoughtomakeher
awareoftheviolenceofhispassion.
Shecouldn'tmove.Hehadherpelviscompletelyunderhis,herlegssupportedbyhis,herbreasts
pinnedbeneaththeheavypressureofhischest.Behindher,thewallwascoldandhard,notwarmand
alivelikethemanwhohadherhelpless.
"Ithinkyou'dbettermarryme,Fay,"hesaidhuskily."Idon'tknowhowmuchlongerIcanprotect
you."
"Protectmefromwhat?"sheasked,dazedbypassion.
"Doyoureallyneedtoask?"hemurmuredagainstherbruisedmouth.
"Marriageisabigstep,"shesaidweakly.
"Sureitis.ButyouandIaregettingmoreexplosivebytheday.Iwantyoulikehell,honey,butnotin
thebackseatofmycarorsomeout-of-the-waymotelwhentimepermits.You'reavirgin.Thatputs
yourightofflimits."
"I'mpoor,"shesaid."No,don'tlooklikethat,"shepleaded,touchinghisthickeyebrowswherethey
clashedtosmoothawaythescowl."Imean,I'dbeaburdenonyou.I'llwork,butIcan'tmakemuch..."
"Howdoyouthinkothercouplesmanage?"heasked."ForGod'ssake,Idon'tcareifyou'repoor!So
amI,inalotofways.You'remuchmoredesirabletomewithoutmoneythanyouwerewithit,andI
thinkyouknowwhy."
"Yes.Ishouldn'thavesaidwhatIdid.Iwassoafraidthatyouwouldn'twantmeanymore."
Heliftedaneyebrow."DoesitfeellikeIdon'twantyou?"heaskedpleasantly.
Hehadn'tmoved,butwhathefeltwasratherblatantandsheblushed.
Helaughedsoftlyasheletherslidedownagainsthimuntilherfeettouchedthefloor.Heloomed
overherashesearchedherflushedfacewithindulgentamusement.
"You'repriceless,"hemurmured."Willyoufaintonourweddingnight,orhideinthebathroom?I'll
wageryou'veneverseenanakedman,muchlessanarousedone."
"IguessI'llgetusedtoit,"sherepliedgamely.
Hechuckled."Iguessyou'llhaveto.Yesorno?"
Shetookadeepbreath."Yes,then,"shesaid,refusingtoworryabouthismotivesorevenherown.
Shewantedhimandhewantedher.She'dworryabouttherestoftheproblemslater.
Hedidn'tspeakforsolongthatshewasfranklyworriedthathewasregrettingtheproposal.Thenhe
liftedherhandstohismouthandkissedthemwithbreathlesstenderness,andthelookinhissilver
eyesmadeherfeelhumble.Whateverhefeltrightnow,itwasn'treluctance.Herheartliftedandflew.
Jeffwascalledinminuteslaterandtoldthenews.Heliterallyjumpedforjoy."When?"heaskedthem.
Fayhesitated.Donavandidn't."Nextweek,"hesaid,hiseyesdaringFaytochallengehim.
"Then,"Jeffsaid,asifhewasreluctanttoputitintowords,"canIstayforthewedding?"
Donavanstudiedhiminasilencethatbecamemoretensebythesecond."AsfarasI'mconcerned,you
canstayuntilyou'reoflegalage."
"Thatgoesforme,too,"Faysaidwithoutprompting.
Jefflookedembarrassed.Hecoloredandavertedhiseyes.Likehisuncle,verylittleshowedinhis
faceunlesshewanteditto.Buthisuneasinesswasadeadgiveaway.
"I'dlikethat,"Jeffsaid."Butwouldn'tIbeintheway?"
"No,"Donavansaidtersely."Wewon'thavetimeforahoneymoonrightaway,andyou'llneedtobe
registeredinschoolhere,eventhoughit'salmosttheendoftheschoolyear."
Jeffseyeswidened."YoumeanIwon'thavetogobacktomilitaryschool?"
"Notunlessyouwantto,"Donavantoldhim."I'vealreadystartedcustodyproceedingsforyou."
"Gosh,UncleDon,"Jeffsaidenthusiastically."Idon'tevenknowwhattosay!"
"SayokayandgobackandwatchtelevisionwithBee,"Donavanmused,glancingwarmlyatFay."I
haven'tfinishedkissingFayyet."
"Oh.Thatmushystuff,"Jeffsaidwithaslygrin.
"Thatmushystuff,"Donavanagreed,smilingatFay'swild-roseblush."You'llunderstandinafew
years."
"Don'tbetonit,"theboymurmured.HereacheddowntoretrieveBee,whowastanglinghis
shoelaces."I'dliketostayhere,"hesaidwithoutlookingatthem."I'dlikeitalot.Butmystepdad
won'teveragree."
"Letmeworryaboutthat,"Donavantoldhim."We'llcallyouwhensupper'sready."
"Okay.Iwon'tholdmybreathoranything,though,"headdeddryly,andclosedthedoorbehindhim.
FaystaredupatDonavanandfeltasifeverydreamshe'deverhadwasabouttocometrue.Shehad
nothing.Butifshe.hadDonavan,shehadtheworld.
Shesaidso.Helookedbrieflyuncomfortable.Shedidn'tknowthathewasunsureofhisownreasons
forwantingtomarryher.HewantedtokeepJeff.Hefeltafuriousphysicallongingtomakeloveto
Fay.Butbeyondthat,hewasafraidtospeculate.He'ddonewithoutloveallhislife.Hewasn'tsurehe
knewwhatitwas.
"Ihaven'tembarrassedyou?"sheaskedworriedly.
Hemovedforwardanddrewherslowlyintohisarms."No,"hesaid.Hiseyessearchedhers."It's
goingtobehardforyougettingusedtomylife-style.Ilikemyownway.Ibudgetlikeamadman.
There'snoprovisionforprettydressesandexpensivecosmeticsandatriptothehairdresseroncea
week..."
Daringly,sheputherfingersagainsthishardmouth."Iwon'tmissthosethings."Shetracedhislean
cheekandhisfirmmouthandchin,lovingthewayhetoleratedherexploration."Oh,glory,"shesaid
onanunsteadybreath."I'llgettosleepwithyoueverynight."
Hestiffenedatthewayshesaidit,asifbeinginhisarmswouldliftherrightuptoheaven.Hebrought
hercloserandbenttokissherwithslow,expertthoroughness.
Shereacheduptoholdhimback,givinginwithexquisitedelightpulsingthroughherbody,loving
himasshe'dneverdreamedshecouldlovesomeone.
Heliftedhisheadfeverishsecondslaterandclaspedhershouldersfirmlywhilehelookeddownat
her."IhopeI'mgoingtobemanenoughtosatisfyyouinbed,"hesaidonahuskylaugh."Youareone
wildlittlecreature,Fay."
Sheflushed."Ihopethat'sacompliment."
"It'sacompliment,allright,"hereplied,fightingforenoughbreathtotalk.Sheconfoundedhim.For
aninnocent,whichhewasalmostcertainshewas,therewasnoreticenceinherwhenhestarted
kissingher.Shemadehiskneesweak.Inbed,shewasgoingtobetheendofhisrainbow.
Shestudiedhimwithsoft,worriedgreeneyes."Ihaven'teversleptwithanyone,"shebegan
nervously.
Hesmiledgently."Iknowthat.Butyou'vegotpromise,honey.Alotofit."Heleanedcloseand
brushedhislipsoverhernose."I'mgladit'sgoingtobewithme,Fay,"hewhisperedhuskily."Your
firsttime,Imean."
Herheartranwild."SoamI."
Hislipsprobedgentlyathermouth,teasingitopen."Doyouknowwhattoexpect?"hebreathed.
"I...thinkso."
Hiseyesopenedatpoint-blankrange,silverfiresthatburnedwhileshefelthiscoffee-scentedbreath
onherlips."I'veneverbeengentle,"hewhispered."ButIwillbe.Withyou."
"Donavan,"shebreathed,hereyesclosingasshepulledhimdowntoher.
Hedidn'tknowifhewasgoingtosurvivethesoftheatofherbody,theclingingtemptationofher
mouth.Hegroanedunderhisbreathasthekisswentonandon,burningintohisverysoul.
"Ican'tbearit,"hegroanedatherlips."Fay...!"
Thetormentedsoundgaveherthewillpowertopullgentlyoutofhisarmsandmoveaway.Herj
kneesfeltweak,buthelookedasifhewashavingahardtimestandingupstraight.
"It'slikebeingthirsty,isn'tit?"sheaskedbreathlessly."Youcan'tquitegetenoughtodrink."
"Yes."Heturnedawayfromherandlitacigarwithhandsthatwerejustfaintlyunsteady.
Shestaredathislongbacklovingly,atthebodythatwouldonedayworshiphers.Hewasgoingtobe
herman,herveryown.LosingherfortuneseemedsuchatinysacrificetomaketohaveDonavanfor
therestofherlife.
Shesmiledtoherself."Ifyou'llshowmewheretheeggsare,I'llmakeyouandJeffanomelet,"she
offered."I'msorryIcan'tcookanythingelsejustyet,butI'lllearn."
"Iknowthat.Don'tworryaboutit,"headdedwithafairlycalmsmile,"Icancook."
"Youcanteachme,"shemused.
"Tocook,"heagreed.Hiseyesfelltothevisibletautnessofherbreasts."Andotherthings."
Shesmiledwithbarelycontainedexcitementasshefollowedhimtotherefrigerator.
Supperwasagleefulaffair,withJefflaughingandjokingwithhisuncleandFayasifhe'dneverhad
asolemn,saddayinhislife.HerodebackwiththemwhenDonavaneventuallydroveFayhomeand
satinthecarwhiletheywalkedtothedoorofFay'sapartmenthouse.
"Ican'tbelievethechangeinJeff,"heremarkedastheypausedonthedarkenedporch."He'snotthe
sameboywhocameoutherewithdeadeyesandevendeaderdreams."
"Doeshisstepfathercareabouthim?"
"Notsoanyonewouldnotice,"hereplied."Hewasalwaysjealousofthewaymysistergotalongwith
Jeff,alwaysresentfulofhim.HemadeJeffslifehellfromtheverybeginning.Sincemysisterdied,
it'sbeenmuchworse."
"Willhefightyouovercustody,doyouthink?"
"Oh,I'mconvincedofit,"Donavansaidlightly."That'sallright.Idon'tmindagoodfight."
"That'swhatI'veheard,"shemurmureddryly.
Hechuckled."Igrewupswinging.Hadto.Myfathermadesureofthat."Hiseyesdarkenedandthe
smilefaded."You'llhavethattolivedown,too,ifyoumarryme.Somepeoplewon'tknowthatyou've
lostyourinheritance.Therewillbetalk."
"Idon'tmind,"shemurmured."Whilethey'retalkingaboutme,they'llbeleavingsomeoneelse
alone."
"Youdon'tgetdepressedmuch,doyou?"heaskedquizzically.
"Iusedto,beforeyoucamealong."Shetoyedwithabuttonofhisshirt,lovingthefeelofhimcloseto
her,thewarmstrengthofhishandsonhershoulders.Shelookedup,hereyesshadowedinthe
darknessoftheporch."I'mmuchtoohappynowtobedepressed."
Hefrowned."Fay...I'vebeenalonealongtime.Jeffstakingsomegettingusedto.Awife...well,Imay
makethingsdifficultforyouatfirst."
"Justaslongasyoudon'thavewomenrunningthroughthehouseintowelsoranything,"shesaid
withanimpishsmile.
Hechuckled."Nochanceofthat.I'vekepttomyselfinrecentyears."Hebentandbrushedhermouth
lightlywithhis,refusingtoletthekissignitethistime."Goodnight,littleone.JeffandIwillpickyou
upforlunchtomorrow."
"Cheeseburgers,right?"
"Right,"hemurmured."Iwishwewerealreadymarried,Fay,andthatwewerecompletelyalone.I'd
carryyouupthosestepsandtakeanhourstrippingtheclothesoffyou."
"Hush!"shegiggled."Idon'twearthatmany!"
"Youdon'tunderstand,doyou?"hewhispered."Youwill."
"Thatfirsttimewewentout,youwouldn'tevenkissme,"sherecalledsuddenly.
"Ididn'tdare.Iwantedittoomuch."Hesmoothedbackherhair."Ifiguredyou'dbeaddictive,Fay.I
wasright,wasn'tI?"
"I'mgladIam,"shesaidfervently.
"SoamI.Goodnight,sweet."
Heturnedandlefther,andhedidn'tlookback,notevenwhenhe'dstartedthecaranddroveaway.Jeff
waved,andshewavedback.ButDonavanhadn'tevenglancedintherearviewmirror.
Itmadehernervous,realizingthathedidn'tseemtolookback.Wasitanomen?Wasshedoingthe
rightthingtomarryamanwhoseonlyfeelingforherwasdesire?
Sheworrieditallnight,butbymorning,theonlythingshewascertainofwasthatshecouldn'tlive
withoutDonavan.Shewentintotheofficeresolute,determinedtomakethebestofthesituation.
"Isittrue?"Abbyaskedtheminuteshecameinthedoorlaterthatmorning,lookingandsounding
breathless.
Faydidn'thavetoaskanyquestions.Shelaughed.'Ifyoumean,amIgoingtomarryJ.D.Langley,
yes."
"Fay,you'recrazy,"Abbysaidgently.Shesatdownbesidetheyoungerwoman."Listen,hewants
custodyofJeff,that'sall.I'llabsolvehimofwantingyourmoney,butifyouthinkhe'smarryingyou
forlove..."
Fayshookherhead."No,I'mnotthatcrazy,"sheassuredherfriend."ButIcaretoomuchtorefuse,"
sheaddedquietly."Hemaylearntolovemeoneday.Ihavetohopethathewill."
"It'snotfair,"Abbyarguedworriedly.
"It'sfairtoJeff,"Fayremindedher."Hestandstolosesomuchifhehastogobacktolivewithhis
stepfather.He'sagreatboy,Abby.Aboywithpromise."
"Yes,Iknow.I'vemethim."ShesatdownontheedgeofFay'sdeskwithalongsigh."Ihopeyou
knowwhatyou'redoing.Ican'tseeJ.D.passionatelyinlove.Calhounsaidhewasactuallycussing
youwhenhelefthereyesterday."
"Hewas,"shereplieddryly."AndIwasgivingasgoodasIgot.Butwemadeuplater."
Abbyraisedaneyebrowattheblush."SoIsee."
"Ican'tsayno,regardlessofhisreasonsforwantingtomarryme,"Faysaidurgently."Abby,Ilove
him."
Theolderwomandidn'thaveanargumentleftShelookedatFayandsawherselfseveralyears
before,desperatelyinlovewithCalhounandlivingondreams.Sheknewthatshe'dhavedone
anythingCalhounhadasked,rightdowntolivingwithhim.
Shesmiledindulgently."Iknowhowthatfeels,"shesaidfinally."ButIhopeyou'redoingtheright
thing."
"Oh,sodoI!"Faysaidwithheartfeltemotion.
WhenDonavancametopickherupforlunch,theofficewasempty.CalhounandAbbyhadtheir
middaymealtogethermostofthetime,andtheofficegirlstookanearlylunchsothattheycouldbe
backduringtheregularlunchhour.
"Where'sJeff?"sheasked,surprisedthattheboywasn'twithhim.
"Gonetothemovies,"Donavantoldher,smiling."Hethinksengagedpeopleneedsometimealone.
Thatbeingthecase,"hemurmured,tuggingherupbyonehand,"supposewebuytheingredientsfor
apicniclunchandfindasecludedspotdownbytheriverwherewecanmakelovetoeachotherafter
weeat?"
Sheblushed,smilingathimwithherwholeheart."Okay."
Hechuckledashepulledheralongwithhim,standingasidetoletthefirstoftheofficecrewbackin
thebuildingbeforeheescortedherouttohiscar.
"We'reraisingeyebrows,"hemurmured."Dotheyknowwe'reengaged?"
"Everybodyseemsto,"shereplied.
"Smalltowngossip.Well,itdoesn'tmatter,doesit?"
Sheshookherhead."Notatall."
Theystoppedbyagrocerystoreinanearbyshoppingcenterandboughtlunchatthetake-outdeli,
addingsoftdrinksandiceforasmallcooler.Itwasn'tafancyorexpensivelunch,butFayfeltasifit
weresheerelegance.
"Youlooklikeoneofthoseposedpicturesofadebutanteatagardenparty,"heremarked,hiseyeson
thewayhergauzywhite-and-greenpatterneddressoutlinedherbodyasshelayacrossfromhimona
spotofgrass.
"Ifeelthatway,too,"shemused,tossingherlonghairasshearchedherbackandsighed.Hereyes
closed."It'ssopeacefulhere."
"Ifthat'sacomplaint..."
ThesoundofmovementbroughthereyesopenjustintimetofindDonavanleveringhisjean-clad
bodyoverhers.Hewassmiling,buttherewasakindofheatinthesmilethatmadeherbodybeginto
throb.
Hiselbowscaughthisweightasheeaseddownontopofher,hislonglegscradlinghersinasilence
tensewithpromise.Hiseyesdroppedtohermouth.
"Thisisasgoodatimeasanyforyoutostartgettingusedtome,"hewhispered.Hishipsshifted
slowly,firsttooneside,thentotheother.Thefaintmovementarousedhimandhetensedasthe
familiarheatshotthroughhimlikefire.
Faywatchedhisfacecontortslightlyevenasshefeltthechangingcontoursofhisbody.Herlips
partedonaheldbreath.
"Ahundredyearsorsoago,whenIwasyoungandhot-blooded,thatwasafrequentandworrying
occurrence.Thesedays,"hemused,watchingherflushedface,"it'smoreofadelightfulsurprise.I
likethewaymybodyreactstoyou."
"Itdoesn't...reacttootherwomenlikethis?"sheasked,tornbetweenembarrassmentandcuriosity.
Heshookhishead."Onlytoyou,apparently.Imustbegettingold.Eitherthat,oradietofvirginal
shockisrejuvenatingme."
"Itisn'tshock.Well,notexactly,"shefaltered.
"No?"Hebentandgentlypartedherlips.Onelong,powerfullegbegantoeaseitswaybetweenhers,
partingthemandspreadingherskirtonthecoolground.Hefelthergaspandliftedhishead."We
don'thavealotoftimeforcourtship,"hebreathed."Weneedtogetusedtoeachotherphysically
beforewemarry.Itwillmakeiteasier."
"I'veneverdonethis,"shesaidnervously.
"Noteventhisfar?"heasked,surprised.
Sheshookherhead."Myparentswereverystrict.SoweretherelativesIusedtostaywith.Theyall
saiditwasasintoletamandowhathelikedtoawoman'sbody."
"Perhapsinsomerespectsitis,"herepliedquietly."ButyouandIaregoingtobemarried.Oneday,
I'mgoingtoputmyseeddeepinyourbodyandyou'regoingtohavemybaby.Thatwon'tbeasinof
anykind."
Thewords,socarelesslyspoken,hadaveryun-carelessreactiononFay.Hereyeswentwideand
watchful,andherfacewentscarlet.
Hefelthersuddentension,sawitinherface."Thatexcitesyou,doesit?"hewhisperedhuskily.His
eyesfelltoherbreasts,andhewatchedthenipplesgohardwithquietpridebeforehecaughther
shockedeyesagain."Youhaveprettybreasts."
Theblushexplodedandhechuckled."Ishouldn'tteaseyou,Fay.Notaboutsomethingsoprofound.
Butit'sirresistible.Asirresistibleas...this."
Andashespoke,hebentsuddenlyandputhisopenmouthoverthehardtipofherbreast.
ChapterSeven
Faythoughtthatifshediedandflewintothesunshecouldn'thavefeltanygreaterexplosionofheat.
ThefeelofDonavan'shotmouthonherbody,eventhroughthecloth,wasincredible.
Shearchedagainsthimandmadeasound,halfgasp,halfgroan,whilehernailsbitintohishard
shoulders.
Histeethnippedherdelicately,beforehistonguebegantoswirlaroundthehardtipandmakeit
unbearablysensitivetothemoistheatofhismouth.
"Please,"shewhisperedhuskily."Please,pleaseplease...!"
Hebarelyheardherthroughhisownneed.Hisfingerswerequickandroughonherbodice,painful
secondspassingbeforehemanagedtodisarrangethehatedfabricthatkepthersoftskinfromhis
mouth.Hefoundherwithhislipsandhishandssimultaneously,andsheclungtohim,nothoughtof
protestinherwhirlingmindasshefedonthefeverishtastingofhismouth,thehotsensualityofhis
handsonherbody.
"Don...avan!"shesobbed.
Heliftedhisheadabruptlyandlookedather.
"MyGod,you'rebeautiful,Fay,"hesaidunsteadily."ThemostbeautifulcreatureunclothedthatI've
everseeninmylife!"
"Iwantyou,"shesaidweakly.
"Iwantyou,too."
"Here."
Heshookhishead,fightingforsanity.Hehadtodraghiseyesawayfromherbodytomeetherown.
"No.Notnow.Wearen'tmarried,littleone."
"It...doesn'tmatter!"shewept,herbodyrackedwithneed.
"Yes,itdoes."Gentlyhedisengagedherhandsandputherclothingtorights.Whenshewasdressed
again,herolledontohisbackandpulledherdownintohisarms.Heheldherwhileshecried,his
voicesoothing,hishandsgentlingherwhilethestormpassed.
"I'maluckyman,Fay,"hesaidwhenshewasquietagain."Averyluckyman."
"IthinkI'mtheluckyone,"shesaidbreathlessly,clinging.
Hebentandkissedher,hissilvereyeslookingstraightintoherswhilehisleanhandsframedher
flushedfacegently."We'retakingabigsteptogether,"hesaidthen,andlookedsolemn."Ihopefor
bothoursakes,andJeffs,thatit'stherightone."
"Itwillbe,"sheassuredhim.Somehow,sheknewit.Butitdidn'tescapehernoticethathelooked
unconvinced.
Thenextweekwentbyinapleasanthaze.FayspenteveryfreemomentwithDonavanandJeff,taking
justtimeenoughtogoshoppingwithAbbyforherweddinggown.Shechoseanoyster-huedsuit,
whichwassensible,becauseitwouldgowitheverythingshehadleftinherwardrobe.Shesplurged
onahat,too,andaveiltodrapeoverit.Sheworriedabouttheamountofmoneyshe'dspent,because
itwasnolongerpossibletobuywithoutlookingatpricetags.ButDonavanonlysmiledwhenshe
mentionedthat,andtoldherthatgettingmarriedcertainlywarrantedalittlesplurging.
TheceremonywasheldatthelocalchurchwhereDonavanwasamember,andhalfthepopulationof
Jacobsvilleturnedoutfortheoccasion.MosteveryoneknewbynowthatFayhadlosteverything,and
evenDonavan'scousinBartwasciviltohim.
JeffstayedwiththeBallengerswhileDonavandrovehimselfandhisnewbrideallthewaytoSan
Antoniofortheirtwo-dayhoneymoon.Theyhadsupperonthepaseodelrio,wherelightedbarges
wentpastwithmariachibandsandmusicfilledtheflower-scentedair.
"Therecan'tbeanyplaceonearthmorebeautifulthanthis,"shecommentedwhenshefinishedthelast
biteofherapplepie£lamodeandlookedathernewhusbandwithquietpossession.
Hecockedaneyebrow,veryhandsomeinthepalegraysuithe'dworntobemarriedin.Hehadn't
changed.Neitherhadshe.Shewasstillwearingheroff-whitesuit,becausetheyhadn'twantedtotake
thetimetochangeearlier.
"Aren'tyoudisappointedthatIcouldn'tofferyouaweekinNiceorSt.Tropez?"
Shesmiledandshookherhead."I'mveryhappy.IhopeIcanmakeyouthatway,too."
Hisreturningsmilebecameslowlywicked."SupposeItakeyoubacktoourroomnow?Iwanttosee
howmanytimesIcanmakeyoublushbeforeIshowyouwhatphysicalloveis."
Herheartbeatfaster."Allright,"shewhisperedwithbarelycontainedexcitement,andwasunableto
meethiseyesashepaidthebillandledheroutintothesweetlyscentednight.
"Areyouafraidofit,Fay?"heaskedintheelevator,wheretheywerebrieflyalone.
"Alittle,Ithink,"sheconfessedwithanervouslaugh.Shelookedupathim."Idon'twanttodisappoint
you.Iknowyouaren'tinnocent..."
Hesmiledgently."I'veneverbeenmarried,though,"heremindedher."Orhadavirgintoinitiate."
Thesmilefaded."I'lltrynottohurtyoutoomuch."
"Oh,I'mnotworriedabout...that,"shefaltered.
"Aren'tyou?"hemusedknowinglyastheelevatorstopped.
Theyenteredtheroomandhelockedthedoorbehindthem,butwhenhercoldhandwenttowardthe
lightswitch,hecaughtit.
"Itwillbeeasierforyouinthedark,"hewhisperedashebroughthergentlyclose."Idon'twantyou
toseemejustyet."
"Doyouhavewarts?"Shelaughed,tryingtomakeajokeofit.
"No.You'llunderstandalotbetterinthemorning.Fornow,"hesaid,swingingherupinhisarmsas
hestartedtowardthebed,"let'senjoyeachother."
She'dneverdreamedthatshecouldliequietlywhileamantookherclothesoff,butshedid.Don-avan
madewhatcouldhavebeenanordealintoabreathlessanticipation,kissingherbetweenbuttonsand
catches,strokingherbodygentlytorelaxherwhileheslowlyanddeftlyremovedeverystitchshehad
on.Thenhepulledheragainsthim,andshefeltthefaintabrasionofhissuitwhilehebegantokiss
her.
"You...you'restilldressed,"shewhispered.
Hebitathermouthwithlazydelight."Inoticed.Openyourmouthalittlemore.That'sit."Hekissed
herveryslowlyandhishandsmootheddownoverhertautbreasts,makinghergasp,beforeitlefta
warmtraildownherflatbellytothesoftinsideofherthighs."Don'tfaint,"hewhisperedashe
touchedherintimatelyforthefirsttimeandfelthertense."Relax,Fay,"hebreathedatherlipsashe
trespassedbeyondevenherwildestandmosteroticdreams.Shecriedoutandhemadearoughsound,
deepinhisthroat."MyGod,thisisn'tgoingtobethebestnightofyourlife.Listen,sweetheart,do
youwanttowaituntilyoucanseeadoctor?"heasked,liftinghishead."Idon'twanttofrightenyou,
butthisbarrierisn'tgoingtobeeasilydispensedwith.Youknow,don'tyou,thatI'mgoingtohaveto
breakitbeforeIcantakeyou?"
"Yes."Sheswallowed."Willithurtyou,too,ifyoudo?"
"Morethanlikely."Herolledontohisbackandpulledherclose,hisbodypulsatingwithitsdenied
needwhilehefoughthisinclinationtosaytohellwithitandgoahead.Heneededher,buthedidn't
wanttohurther,tomakeintimacysomethingthatwouldfrightenandscarher.
"Ididn'tknow,"shesaidhesitantly."I'veneverhadanyfemaleproblems,andIdidn'tthinkIneededa
prenuptialcheckup..."
Hesmoothedherlonghairgently."I'mnotfussing,amI?"hemurmured.
"I'llbetyoufeellikeit,"shesaidmiserably.Shelaughedandthenbegantocry."I'veruined
everything!"
"Don'tbeabsurd."Hisarmstightenedandherolledoveragainsther,hismouthwarmandsoftand
slowashishandmoveddownherbodyagain.Insteadofprobing,thistimeittouched,lightly,
sensually.Shegaspedandinstinctivelycaughthishand,butitwasalreadytoolate.Thepleasure
caughtherbysurpriseandforminutesthatseemednevertoend,shewasoblivioustoeverything
exceptherhusband.
Alongtimelater,hegotup,leavingherwide-eyedandmorethanalittleshakenonthebed.Heturned
thelightsonandlookedathishandiwork,fromthedrowsy,satedgreeneyestothepinkluxuryofher
sprawledbody.Shewastoofulfilledtoevenprotesttheintimacynow,andhisexpressionwasjust
faintlysmug.
"Noneedtoaskifyoulikedit,"hemurmuredunforgivablyandbegantotakeoffhisclothes.
Shewatchedhimwithvisiblepleasure.Hehadastunningbody,verypowerfulanddarklytanned,
exceptforapalebandwheresheimaginedhisswimmingtrunksnormallyrested.Hewaslightly
featheredalloverwithdark,curlinghair,exceptforhischestandflatstomach,whereitwasthickest.
Heturnedtowardherandshecaughtherbreath,unabletotakehereyesoffhim.Evenlikethis,hewas
anywoman'sdream.Especiallylikethis.
Hekneltoverher,hiseyesglitteringwithunsatisfieddesire."Nowit'smyturn,"hewhispered,easing
downbesideher."IwantwhatIgaveyou."
"Anything,"shechoked."Teachme...!"
Hismouthcoveredhers,andlessonsfollowedthatbanishedhershyness,herfear,herinhibitions.
Whenhecriedoutasecondtimeandwasstill,shelayagainsthimwithdrowsypleasureandclosed
hereyesinsatisfiedsleep.
Theywentbackhomethenextmorning.Donavanmurmureddrylythathewasn'tspendinganother
nightplayingatsexwhentheycouldhavetherealthingaftershesawthedoctor.Shedid,firstthing
Mondaymorning,althoughtheminorsurgerywasalittleembarrassing.Thedoctorwaspleasedat
Donavan'scare,because,headded,itwouldhavebeenanunpleasantexperienceforbothofthemif
hernewhusbandhadbeenimpatient.Hesentherhomewithasmileandshedreamedforthethree
daysittookforthediscomforttopass.
ItwasgoingtobethemostexcitingnightofDonavan'slife,Faypromisedherselfasshegot
everythingready.She'dalreadyaskedAbbytokeepJeffforthatoneevening,withouttellingherwhy,
andJeffhadagreedwithamurmureddryremarkaboutnewlywedsneedingsomeprivacy.Nobody
knewthatthemarriagehadn'tbeenconsummated.Buttonightitwasgoingtobe.
Fayhadabottleofchampagnechilling.She'dcookedaspecialmealandmadeacrepedessert,things
she'dhadAbbyshowherhowtodo.Everythinglookeddelicious.EvenFay,whowaswearingoneof
theonlysexydressesshepossessed,alittlestrappyblacksatinnumberthatshowedoffherfullbreasts
andherlong,elegantlegsinthenicestpossibleway.She'dleftherhairloosearoundhershoulders,
thewayDonavanlikedit,andsprayedherselfwithperfume.He'dbeenexquisitelypatientandcaring
forthepastfewnights,contentinghimselfwithafewgentlekissesandthefeelofherinhisarmsand
nothingmore.Tonight,shewasgoingtomakehimgladhe'dbeensoconsiderate.
Sheheardhiscarpullupinthedriveway,veryimpatiently,andheardtheviciousslamofhisdoor.
Somethingmusthaveupsethimatwork,shethoughtasshequicklylitthecandlesonthetable.Well,
shehadthecureforthat.
Sheturnedashethrewopenthefrontdoorandcamein.Thatwaswhensherealizedthatwhathad
upsethimwasn'tthejob.Hewasstaringatherwithundisguisedfury,hiswholelookaccusingand
violent.
"Youdidn'ttellmeyouhadagreat-auntwhocouldbuyandsellMiamiBeach."
Sheblinkedandhadtothinkhard."YoumeanGreat-AuntTessie,"shefaltered."Well,yes,but..."
Hisfacehardened.Hisleanhandalmostcrushedthehathe'djustsweptfromhisdamphair."Your
uncleHenryhadacallafewminutesago.Hewantedmetobreakthenewstoyou."Hetooka
steadyingbreath."Yourgreat-auntdiedlastnight.Youinheriteverythingsheowned,andthatincludes
millionsofdollars."
Hewaswhiteintheface.Nowsheknewwhy.Shesatdownheavily."Tessieisdead?ButIhadaletter
fromherjustlastweek.Shewasfine..."
"Youdidn'ttellme,"hegroundout."Why?"
Sheliftedhereyes."Ineverthoughtofit.Honestly,"shesaiddully.Tearsstunghereyelids.She'dbeen
veryfondofTessie."Ilovedher.Hermoneynevermadeanydifferencetome.Iexpectedshe'dleave
ittocharity.SheknewIdidn'tneedit."
"Didn't,asinpasttense."Henodded."Butnowyou'renotawomanofproperty.Orareyou?"
"Icanalwaysrefuseit,"shebegan.
"Don'tbother.Iassumeyou'llwanttoflydownthere,"hesaidshortly."Yourunclewillgowithyou.
Hesaidhe'dmakethetravelarrangementsandletyouknowlater."Hetuggedathistie,glaringather.
"It'snotmyfault,"shesaidhuskily,tearspouringdownhercheeks.
"Don'tyouthinkIknowthat?"hereplied,hiseyescoldanddark."Butitchangeseverything.Iwon't
staymarriedtoyou.Notnow."
"WhataboutJeff?"shegasped."Thecustodysuit?"
"Idon'tknow..."
Hewasuncharacteristicallyhesitant.Shewentclosertohim."Wedon'thavetotellanyone,"shesaid.
"I'llswearUncleHenrytosecrecy.WecanstaymarriedlongenoughforyoutogetJeffawayfrom
hisstepfather.Thenwecangeta...adivorce."
"Divorce?"heaskedwithacurtlaugh."Anannulment."Sheflushed."Hadyouforgotten,baby?"he
askedmockingly."Weplayedatsex,butweneverhadit.Nowit'sjustaswellthatwedidn't.Noharm
done.Youcanfindyourselfsomesocietyboyinyourowncircleandgetmarriedagain."
"Andyou?"
Heshruggedindifferentlyandturnedawaybeforeshecouldseehisface."I'llhaveJeff."
"Youdon'twantme?"
"WhatIwantordon'twantdoesn'tenterintoitanymore,"hesaidcoolly,carefulnottoletherseehis
face."ThelastthingIcanaffordistohaveJacobsvillestartgossipingaboutanotherLangley
marryingformoney,especiallywhenI'vegotJeffsfuturetothinkabout."
"Oh,Isee."
Shedid,painfully.Donavanwouldneverwantherwithmillions.Hewasaproudman.Muchtoo
proudtowithstandthesnideremarksandgossip.Evenifhewaslessproud,therewasJeff.Theboy
shouldn'thavetosufferforthingshe'dneverdone.
"I'll...justphoneUncleHenry,"shesaid,butDonavandidn'tanswerher.Hewentoutandclosedthe
door.
Thenextmorning,hedroveherandheruncletotheairportandputthemonaplane.TheBallengers
hadbeenveryunderstandingaboutherabsencefromworkforacoupleofdays,andAbbywasglad
tofillinforherunderthecircumstances.TheyallputdownFay'sapathytoherfondnessforher
great-aunt,soitwasjustaswelltheydidn'tseeherwithDonavan.Hisfiercescowlmighthave
changedtheirminds.
"Thanksfordrivingushere,"Henrysaiduncomfortably."Fay,I'llwaitforyouontheconcourse."
"Yes."ShewatchedhimgowithdulleyesbeforesheliftedherowntoDonavan.
"Youhaven'tslept,haveyou?"heaskedformally.Andhehadtoask,becausehe'dmovedoutofher
bedroomthenightbeforewithoutaword.
Sheshookherhead."IwasfondofGreat-AuntTessie.Weweregoodfriends."
"Iwasn'tverysympatheticlastnight,"hesaidstiffly."I'msorry..."
Herchinliftedproudly."Ihaven'taskedforanythingfromyou,haveI,Donavan?"sheaskedwith
expression."AndIwon't.I'llstaywithyouuntilthecustodyhearing.Then,asyousuggested,wecan
getanannulment."
"Whatwillyoudo?"heasked.
Sheonlylaughed.Shefeltamillionyearsold.
"Whatdoyoucare?"sheaskedwithoutlookingathim.Shepickedupthecasehe'dbeencarryingfor
her."Ihaven'ttoldtheBallengersaboutwhatI'llinherit,andIhopeyouwon't,"shesaidoverher
shoulder."UntilItalktoherlawyers,nothingisreallycertain."
"Don'tmakesomestupiddecisionaboutthatmoneyoutofmisplacedloyaltytome,"hesaidcoldly,
forcinghimselftosmileasifhedidn'tgiveadamnabouther.Lettinghergiveupmillionstolivea
modestlife-stylewithhim,outofnothingbutdesire,wouldbecriminal."Ionlymarriedyoutoget
Jeff.MaybeIwantedyou,too,"headdedwhenshelookedathim."Butbodiescomecheap,honey.I've
nevergonehungry."
Herfacewent,ifpossible,ashadepaler."It'snicetoknowthatI'llbeleavingyouheart-wholeand
unencumbered.Goodbye,Donavan."
"Notgoodbye,"hesaidcarelessly."Solong."
Sheshookherhead."No,Imeantit.I'llcomeback.I'llstay,forJeff.Butineveryotherway,it's
goodbye."Hereyesfellawayfromhisandshetriednottofeelthebitterwoundofrejectionthatmade
herinsideshurt.Everystepwasonelessshe'dhavetorepeat.Shethoughtaboutthatasshecounted
them.Shedidn'tlookback,either.Shewaslearning,asheapparentlyalreadyhad,nottoeverlook
back.
ThetriptoMiamiwaslongandtiresome.SheandUncleHenryspenttwodaysdealingwithGreat-
AuntTessie'spossessions,savingkeepsakesandarrangingfordisposalofeverythingelse.Thevery
laststopwasthelawyer'soffice,whereFaysatbesideherunclewithdeadeyes,hardlyawareofher
surroundings.
"Iknowthewillseemscut-and-dried,"theattorneysaidapologetically,glancingatFayand
grimacing,"butI'mafraiditwasalteredjustrecentlywithoutmyknowledge.Jessie'smaidfoundthe
newwillinherbedsidetable,witnessedandproperlysigned."
Henry'seyebrowsraised."Didsheleavethewholeshootingmatchtohercats?"heaskedwitha
chuckle.
"Oh,it'salittlebetterthanthat,"theattorneyreturned,readingoverthedocument."Sheleftittoopen
achainofhostelsthatwouldhousethefamiliesofchildrenwithincurablecancer.Itseemsher
housekeeper'ssisterhadachildwithleukemiaandwashavingtodriveahundredmilesadayback
andforthbecauseshecouldn'taffordtostayinahotel...Mrs.Langley,areyouallright?"
Faywasaghast.Delighted.Unbearablypleased.Shelookedattheattorney."Youmean,Idon'thaveto
takethemoney?"
Herwordingshockedhim,whenverylittleeverhad."Youdon'twantit!"
"Oh,no,"sheagreed."I'mquitehappyasIam."
"Well,I'mnot,"Henrymuttered."Shecouldhaveleftmeafewsticksoffurnitureorsomething."
"Butshedid,"theattorneyrecoveredhimselfenoughtoadd."There'saprovisionforthecontentsof
herapartmenttobesoldatpublicauctionandtheproceedssplitbetweenthetwoofyou.Ishouldsay
itwillamounttoverynearlyaquarterofamilliondollars.Thereis,too,herjewelry,whichshe
wantedtogotoMrs.Langley—providednoneofitissold.Heirlooms,youknow."
Faysmiled."SomeofthepiecesdatebackthreehundredyearstoEuropeanroyalhouses.I'dnever
sellit.Itshouldgotodescendants."Sherealizedthatshewouldn'thaveanynow,andherfacefell.
"Atleastwegotsomething,"Henrytoldheroncetheywereoutside."Idon'tfeelsobadthatyour
inheritancedidn'tcomethrough,now."
"Therewasnothingyoucouldhavedone,"Fayassuredhim."Idon'thaveanyhardfeelings."
Hestaredathercuriously."Youdidn'twantTes-sie'smoney?"
Sheshookherheadastheywalkedbacktotherentedcar."Notatall.Donavanwouldneverhave
marriedmeinthefirstplaceifI'dbeenrich."
"Yes.Hedoeshaveasorespotabouthisfather."Heglancedather."Well,thisslightinTessie'swill
shouldmakeyourmarriagealittlemorestable.IcanimaginewhatJ.D.Langleywouldhavethought
ifyou'dinheritedallthatmoney."
"Yes.Can'tyou,though?"Althoughshewasthinkingthatifhe'dlovedher,moneywouldn'thave
matteredatall.He'dtossedheroutonherearbecausehethoughtshewasinheritingTessie'smoney.
Hedidn'twantherrich.Well,thatwasallrightwithher.Arelationshipbasedonmoney—nomatterif
itwastoomuchortoolittle—wasn'ttherightkind.She'dgoonwithherjobatthefeedlotandtellhim
thatherinheritancewasgoingtobetiedupforatime.Beyondthat,hedidn'treallyneedtoknow
anythingelse.He'dthrownherout.Shehadtoconsiderthatmaybehe'ddoneherafavor.Shewas
fallingmoreinlovewithhimbytheday.ButasidefromhisneedtokeepJeffandhisdesireforher,
therewasnothingonhissideworthfightingfor.Ashe'dalreadysaid,hecouldhaveallthewomenhe
needed.WhatwouldhewantwithFay?
ShedidfeelsomewhatresponsibleforJeff,though,sinceshe'dagreedtothemarriageinthefirst
placepartlytohelprescuehimfromhisstepfather.Shelikedtheboy.Forhissake,shewasn'tgoing
towalkoutonJ.D.Langley.She'dstickwiththemuntilthecourtcasewassettledonewayorthe
other.Thenshe'dmakewhateverdecisionshadtobemade.
Itwasironic,though,thatshe'dgonetohermarriagebedavirginandleftitstillavirgin,evenifshe
hadlearnedquitealotaboutpleasureintheprocess.ShewonderedifshecouldgetintoTheGuinness
BookofRecords?
ShepackedherthingsandgotreadytoheadbacktoJacobsville.Shedidn'tseemfatedtoberich
anymore,andshewasrathergladaboutit.Itwasonethingtobebornintomoney,quiteanotherto
learntomakeitintheworldwithoutabigbankrolltofallbackon.
IfDonavanhadlovedher,she'dhavehadeverything.Sherememberedsomanygoodtimeswithhim,
somuchsweetnessandpleasure.He'dgenuinelyseemedtolikeherattimes,andhisdesireforher
hadbeenquiteunmistakable.Butdesirewasn'tlove.
Shecouldn'tsettleforamanwholookedatherasaninfrequentdessertthathecouldlivewithout.She
wantedtobelovedaswellaswanted,tobecherishedjustforherself.Donavanhadputconditionson
theirrelationshipthatshecouldn'tmeet.BepoorandI'llwantyou,he'dasgoodassaid.Ifhe'dloved
her,whethershewasrichorpoorwouldn'thavemattered.Andallthegossipintheworldwouldn't
havemadeanydifference.
Donavanhadneverloved,sohecouldn'tknowthat.ButFaydid.Shehadtogobacktohimnowand
pretendthatshedidn'tlovehim,thattheyweresimplytwopeoplelivingtogetherforthesakeofa
child.Theyweren'tevenlegallymarried,becausethemarriagehadn'tbeenconsummated.She
laughedbitterly.Jeffsstepfathercouldhavehadplentyoffunwiththatchargeincourt,butnobody
knewexceptDonavanandherself,thankGod.
Sheclosedthecaseshe'dbeenpackingandwenttophonethebellhopstation.Shehadtogohomeand
faceDonavan,andthefuture.
ChapterEight
WhenFayandherunclearrivedattheairport,itwasashocktofindDonavanwaitingforthem.
Sheshotacuriousglanceatheruncle,buthelookedassurprisedasshedid.
"Wecouldhavegottenacab,"shebegan,herverycalmvoicebelyingtheturmoilthatthesightof
Donavanengenderedinher.
"Itwasnohardshiptopickyouup,"hesaideasily.Hewassmokingacigar,wearingworkingclothes
thatwerecleanifnotnew.HisStetsonwascockedoveroneeyesothatitwasn'tpossibletoseethe
expressiononhisleanface.Justaswell,too,hethought,becausehewasn'treadyforFaytofindout
howgladhewastoseeher.Thedayshadbeenendlesssincesheleft,andhisconsciencewashurting
him.He'dbeenunkindtoheratatimewhenshe'dneededcompassionandashouldertocryon.
"Thisisdecentofyou,Donavan,"HenrysaidasheshoulderedcasesandfollowedDonavanouttothe
car."Ihatecabs."
Faydidn'tcomment.Sheclutchedherpurseandherovernightbagtightly,notreturningDonavan's
quiet,closescrutiny.Shedidn'tcarewhathedidorsaidanymore,shetoldherself.He'dhurtherfor
theverylasttime.
HedroppedHenryoffandnotawordwasspokenuntilheescortedFayintothehouse.
"Jeffsinschool,"hetoldherwhenshenoticedthesuddenhushinthehouse.OnlyBee,thekitten,was
inevidencewhenDonavancamebackfromdepositingherbagsinherroom.Hepickedherupwitha
faintsmileanddepositedherinachair.
"YouenrolledJeffinschoolhere,then?"sheasked.
"Yes."Hestoppedjustinfrontofher,hissilvereyesprobingashelookeddownatherintheoff-
whitesuitshe'dbeenmarriedin.Itbroughtbackpainfulmemories.
"Howareyou?"heasked.
"Stillkicking,"shereplieddryly."I'mnotbleeding,Donavan,soyoudon'tneedtoworryoverme.I
won'tbeaproblem.Now,ifyou'llexcuseme,I'llunpackandchange.ThenI'llseeaboutstarting
somethingforsupper."
"Youdon'thaveto..."hebeganirritably.
"Idon'tmind."Sheturnedaway,cuttinghimoffbeforehecouldswayherresolve."You'vesaiditall
already,"sheaddedwithoutturning."Let'sjustleaveitalone.Haveyouheardfromyourlawyerabout
thecustodyhearing?"
"Yes,"hesaidafteraminute."It'sscheduledfornextweek."
Shedidn'tknowwhatelsetosay,soshenoddedandlefthimthere.Itwassomesmallconsolationthat
heseemedasillateaseasshefelt.Theirmarriagewasoverbeforeithadevenhadachancetobegin.
Shewishedtheycouldstartagain.ButshedoubtedthatDonavanbelievedinsecondchancesanymore
thanshedidherself.
Itwasasilentmeal.Jefflookedfromoneofthemtotheotherwithcuriosityandfaintuneasiness.
"I'msorryaboutyourgreat-aunt,Fay,"Jeffsaidwhentheywereeatingthepuddingshe'dmadefor
dessert."Iguessyou'restillsad."
"Yes,"sheagreedwithoutargument."Great-AuntTessiewasspecial.Shewasarenegadeinadayand
agewhenitwasn'tpopular."
"Wasshereallyrich?"
Fayhatedthequestion,butshecouldn'tverywelltakeoutherwoundsontheboy."Yes,Jeff,shewas.
Veryrich.Butmoneyisn'tthemostimportantthingintheworld.Itwon'tbuygoodhealthor
happiness."
"Yeah,butitsurewouldbuyalotofNintendogames!"heenthused.
Shelaugheddespiteherself.ButDonavanwassilentallthroughthemeal,andafterward.
WhileFaywaswashingdishes,hecameintotheroom.Hishandsweredanglingfromthethumbsin
hisjeanspockets,hissilvereyeswatchfulinafacelikeacarvinginastonecliff.
"IheardyoucallAbbyBallengerjustbeforesupper.Why?Didyoutellheryouwereresigning?"he
askedslowly.
"I'mnotresigning.Youdorealizethatpaperworkandsoforthtakestime?"sheadded,playingfor
time."Idon'tautomaticallyinherit.NeitherdoesUncleHenry."
"Youwouldn'thaveknownthatbythewayhewastalkingonthewaytohishouse,"heremindedher
withacalculatingsmile."He'salreadygothismoneyspent.Orhewillhave,bythetimeheactually
getsit."
Shedidn'tspeak.Hemadehernervous.Itwasimpossibletobeinthesameroomwithhimandnot
rememberhowithadbeenbetweenthemthatonenightoftheirhoneymoon.Evenwithouttheultimate
intimacy,she'dhadatasteofDonavanthatstillcouldmakeherheadspin.Shelovedhimwithallher
heart.Itwouldn'thavematteredifhe'downedseveralmultinationalcorporationsoronlyarope'and
anoldhorse.Shelovedhimsomuchthathiscircumstanceswouldneverhavemadeanydifference.
Buthedidn'tfeelthesameabouther,andshedidn'tneedhimtoputitintowords.Shehadmoney—or
sohethought—andhedidn't,sohedidn'twanther.Nothingwouldalterhisopiniononeiota,andshe
knewthat,too.
"Ishouldhavestayedtherewithyou,shouldn'tI?"heaskedunexpectedly."Youlookworntoanub,
Fay.Allthatgriefandyouruncletodealwithatonce.Isupposeallthedetailswereleftuptoyou."
Itwasaquestion,shesupposed."Yes,"shereplied."UncleHenrywasabletomakethefuneral
arrangements,though,withtheattorney'shelp.Isortedoutthethingsintheapartment—"Shestopped,
blinkingtostaythetears.Shewashedthesameplateagain,slowly."Itwassoemptywithouther."
Hehesitated."Sowasthishouse,withoutyouinit,"hesaidgruffly.
Sheswallowed.Shedidn'tdareturnaround."Thanks,butyoudon'thavetopretend.Ihaven'tlived
herelongenoughtomakeanyrealdifferenceinyourlife,orJeffs.You'reabettercookthanIam,
andyou'vehadpeopletohelpyoustraightenup.I'mjustatemporaryconvenience.Nothingmore."
Hewasconsciousofaterriblewoundinginherandinhimself.Hadhemadeherfeelsoinadequate
thatshethoughthewasbetteroffwithoutherthanwithher?
"Theboywantstoseethatnewadventuremoviethatjustcameout.It'splayingattheLongview.Want
tocomewithus?"
"Oh,no,Idon'tthinkso,"sheforcedherselftosay."I'mverytired.Youtwogoahead,andenjoy
yourselves.Ijustwanttogotobedandsleeptheclockaround."
Hehesitated."Fay,wecanwaituntilyou'rerested."
"Idon'tlikemovies,honestly,"shesaidquickly."Butthanksallthesame."
Hemovedcloser,hiseyesnarrowandconcerned."You'vehadaroughtimelately,andIhaven'tbeen
muchhelp.Listen,Fay..."
"Idon'tneedpity,"shesaid,hervoicesteadydespitetheturmoilhisnearnessaroused.Shedriedher
handsandsidesteppedawayfromhim."I'mlearningtostandonmyowntwofeet.Iwon'tpretendit's
easy,butIthinkI'mfinallygettingthehangofit.Afterthecustodyhearingnextweek,Imayseeabout
movingbacktomyapartmenthouse."
"You'reassumingthatI'llwinit,"hesaidformally."There'sagoodchancethatIwon't.Andifyoutip
outthefrontdoorhourslater,Jeffsstepfathermayappealthecourt'sdecisionevenifIdowin.Proof
ofanunstablehomelifewouldcostdearly."
Incrediblethathesoundedsodeterminedtokeepherwithhim,whensheknewthatwasn't-whathe
wantedatall.Ofcourse,itwasforJeffssake.Helovedtheboy,ifhelovednooneelse.
"Allright,"shesaid,soundingandfeelingtrapped.Shesigheddeeply."I'llstayaslongasyouneed
me."
"Ifyoustaythatlong,you'llneverleave,"hesaidcurtly.
Heturnedandlefttheroom,withFaystaringafterhiminadaze,notquitesurethatshe'dreallyheard
himright.Probably,shethoughtlater,itwasonlywishfulthinkingonherpart.
Theyfellintoaroutineasthedayspassed.Faywentbacktowork,despiteDonavan'scommentthat
shewastakingajobthatsomeoneelsemightreallyneed,andJeffwenttoschooleachdayandbegan
tolooktheverypictureofahappyboy.
Fayworkedharderthansheeverhadbefore,deliberatelyputtinginlatehoursandpayingmore
attentiontodetailthanever.CalhounandJustinBal-lengerwerecomplimentaryandappreciativeof
herefforts.Donavanwasnot.
"Youdonothingbutwork!"hecomplainedoneeveningwhenshewasn'tworkinglate—ararityin
recentdays."Don'tJeffandIcountwithyou?"
"UncleDon,Fayhastodoherjobright,"Jeffpointedout.Hegrinned."Besides,Mr.Ballengersays
she'ssavedthemplentywithallthathardwork."
Donavanfinishedhisdessertandreachedforthecarafe,topourhimselfasecondcupofcoffee."SoI
hear."
"Youdon'tworkanylesshardyourself,"Fayaccusedhim."AndIdon'tcomplain."
Hissilvereyesmetherswithcoldimpact."Mostbrand-newwiveswould."
Hewasmakinganinsinuationthat,fortunately,wentrightoverJeffshead.ButFayknewwhathewas
reallysaying,andsheflushed.
"Yes,well,oursishardlyanormalsituation."
"Itcouldbe,"hesaid,startlingherintolookingup.Therewasnoteasing,nomockeryinhis
expression.Hewasdeadlyserious.
Fayflushed."There'snotime."
Heliftedaneyebrow."Ibegyourpardon?"
Theflushgrewworse.Jefffinishedthelastofhisdessertandexcusedhimself."Iwanttogetoutof
thelineoffire,"hesaiddryly,andclosedthedoorintothelivingroom.Secondslater,theTVblared
out.
"Turnthatdamnedthingdown!"Donavanraged.
"Youbet!"Jeffsaidirrepressiblyandbarelytouchedtheknob.
Donavan,placated,wasstillglaringatFay."We'rehusbandandwife,"heremindedher."There'sno
reasononearththatyoucan'tshareabedwithme."
"There'saverygoodone,"shediffered.Sheputdownhernapkin."WhenJeffssituationisresolved,I
don'tplantostayhereanylongerthanIhaveto.Iwon'triskgettingpregnant."
Hisfacedrainedofcolor.Helooked...wounded.Cuttothebone.Fayfeltsickatthecarelesscomment
whenshesawitsresults.Shehadn'tevenmeantit.Shelovedhim,butheonlywantedher.Shewas
fightingforheremotionalsurvival,withthefewweaponsshehadleft.
"Ididn'tmeanthat,"shesaidstiffly,avertinghereyes."Notlikeitsounded.ButyoumustrealizeI'm
right.Ababyrightnowwould...wouldcomplicatethings."
"Youdon'tthinkchildrencanbeprevented?"heaskedwithcuttingsarcasm.
Sheliftedhereyestohis."Iwon'tbearoundthatmuchlonger,"shesaidquietly."IrealizeImustbe
stiflingyoursexlife,andI'msorry,butverysoonI'llbegoneandyoucan...Yourlifecangetbackto
normal."
Hegrewcolderinfrontofhereyes.Hethrewdownhisnapkinandslowlygottohisfeet."Sothat's
whatit'scomedowntoinyourmind.I'mhotforawomanandyou'resomeoneIcanuseinthe
meantime,untilI'mfree."
Shewentscarlet."Youcan'tpretendyoufeelanythingotherthandesireforme,"shesaidproudly.
"Afterall,I'mrich."
Hisgazeavertedtothetable.Hestaredatitforalongmoment."Yes."He'dalmostforgotten.
Memoriescameback,ofhisfather'sgreed,thecensureafterRandLangley'ssecondwifehad
committedsuicide.
Heleftwithoutanotherword.Afterafewminutes,Faygotupandclearedawaythedishes.Well,what
hadsheexpectedhimtodo,denyit?Shelaughedatherownfollyandthenhadtobitebacktears.
Thecourthearingwasonlytwodaysawaynow,andbothJeffandDonavanwerelookingasifthe
pressureofitwasgivingthemsomeproblems.
Faywentbythevideorentalstoreandfoundthreemoviesthatwouldprobablyappealtothetwomen
inherlife—bothofwhomwereadventurefans—andpresentedthemaftersupper.
"Wow!"Jeffenthused."I'vewantedtoseetheseforages!Thanks,AuntFay!"
"Ididn'tthinkyoulikedadventurefilms,"Donavanremarked.
Sheshrugged."Icantakethemorleavethem.ButIthoughttheymighttakeJeffsmindoffcourt."She
lookedupathimcuriously."Haveyouheardanythingfromhisstepfather,eventhroughthelawyer?"
Heshookhishead."Itwouldn'tsurprisemetofindthathe'shavinguswatched,though."
"Why?"
"Lookingforanythingtofurtherhiscase."Helaughedcoldly."Itwouldbelikehim."
"Neitherofushasbeenindiscreet,"sheremindedhimprimly,butwithanervousglance.
Heglaredather."Itoldyou,Idon'thavewomenontheside.Aslongaswe'remarried,you'reit."
Sheavertedherface."Thankyou."
"IhopethatIcanexpectthesamecourtesy?"
Hereyesonhisfacewereexplosiveandexpressive.""Youdon'thavetoworryaboutthat.Idon't
attracttoomanymennowthatI'mnotrichanymore!"
TheslipcaughtDonavan'sattention."Youjustinheritedafortune,"heremindedher.
"Oh.Oh,yes,"shefaltered.Sheturnedawayquickly."Nevertheless,I'mnotgoingtobreakmy
weddingvows."
"Ineverthoughtyouwould,Fay,"hesaidunexpectedly.Hemovedclosebehindherandcaughther
waistgentlyinhisleanhands."Youneedn'tflinchlikethat."Hisvoicewasquiet,tender."Imaybea
14-karatheel,butIwouldn'thurtyouphysically."
"Iknowthat,"shesaidbreathlessly."AndIdon'tthinkyou'reaheel.YouloveJeffverymuch,don't
you?"
Heheardthejerkysoundofherbreathingandmovedevencloser,hispowerfulbodyallbutwrapping
aroundhersfrombehind.Hisfaceeaseddownsothathischeekwasagainsthers,hiswarmbreath
sighingoutatthecornerofhermouth.
Hercoldhandsresteduneasilyatophis,tremulousasthespellofhisnearnessmadeherpulserace
wildly.
"It'seasytoloveachild,"hesaidheavily."Evenaneglected,temperamentalone.Achildacceptslove
andreturnsit.Adultsknowbetterthantotrustit."
"Isee."
Hishandstightenedandhismouthdroppedtohersoftneck,pressingtherehotly."Youseenothing,"
hesaidhuskily."Liftyourmouth.Iwantit.",
Shestartedtoprotest,butthestarkneedofhismouthsilencedher.Hislipspartedhersruthlessly.He
whippedheraroundagainsthim,hisbodyhardeningasheheldherspossessivelytoit.Hegroaned
softly,andthesoundmadeherevenweaker.
Withatinysigh,hermindletgoandmadehervulnerableinhisarms.Shereachedup,openingher
mouthtotherough,insistentprobingofhistongue.Thesensationshewascausingmadeherknees
tremble,andeventuallyitwasonlythecrushofhisarmsthatkeptheronherfeetatall.
Thesuddensilenceinthelivingroomwasasblatantasagunshot.Donavanreluctantlyliftedhishead
justasJeffsfootstepsimpingedonthesilence.
Faytriedtopullback,butDonavanwouldn'tletgo.
"Heisn'tblind,"hesaidunsteadily."Stayput."Shedidn'tquitegraspwhathemeantuntilhemoved
deliberatelyagainsther,makingherrealizeatoncethathishungerforherwasblatantandeasilyseen.
Shesubsidedandlaidhercheekonhisbroadchest,relaxingagainsthimasJeffpushedop6nthe
kitchendoor,andmadeanembarrassedsound.
"Sorry,"hefaltered."Ineededasoftdrink."
"Helpyourself,"Donavansaid,chuckling."Wearemarried,youknow,"headded,lighteningthe
atmosphere.
"It'sabouttimeyoustartedactinglikeyouwere,"Jeffmurmuredwithagrin.Hegothissoftdrinkand
closedthedoorbehindhimwithafaintwinkatFay.
"I'llremindyouofthesamething,"hetoldherwhenhesteppedbackandherfaceflamedbeforeshe
wasabletoaverthereyes."Andyou'veseenmewithahellofalotlesson,inthiscondition."
"Willyoustop?"shemoaned.
"You'reveryeasilyembarrassedforanoldmarriedwoman."Hiseyesnarrowedashepausedlong
enoughtolightacigar.Hewatchedherclosely."I'llkeepyoufromgettingpregnant.Iwantyouinmy
bedtonight.Hearmeout,"headdedwhenshestartedtospeak."Sophisticationistheonethingyou
can'tfake.IfevenJeffrealizeswearen'tlivinglikemarriedpeople,hisstepfathermightrealizeitas
well.WecouldstillloseJeff."
Shehesitated."Irealizethat."
"Youcanpretendallyoulike,"headded,"butyouwantwhatIcangiveyouinbed.You'reasexcited
rightnowasyouwereinthemotelroomthenightafterwemarried.Thedifference,"hesaid
sensually,"isthatnowwecanexperienceeachothertotally,Fay.Icansatisfyyoutotally."
Herlipsparted.Shecouldstillfeelhimonthem,tastehimonthem.Helookedatherandknew,at
once,thatshewastotallyathismercy.
Slowlyheputoutthecigar.Heopenedthedoor."Jeff,we'regoingtohaveanearlynight.Bedby
eleven,gotthat?"
"What?Oh,sure,UncleDon,"hesaiddistractedly,hiseyesontheTVscreen."Sleepwell."
"You,too."
HeclosedthedoorandcaughtFay'scoldhandinhis.Hetuggedherwithhimtothehalldoor,opened
andcloseditbehindthem,andthenledherintothedarknessofhisownbedroom.
Heclosedthatdoor,andlockedit.Secondslater,inthewarmdark,Fayfelthimleverdown
completelyagainsther,pushingherbackagainstthecoolwoodofthedoorastheheatofhis
muscularbodyoverwhelmedher.
Whilehekissedher,hishandsslidunderthedressshewaswearingandplayedhavocwithher
arousedbody.Longbeforehebegantotakeherclothesoff,shewasbarelyabletostandalone.
Later,shelayquietly,trembling,inhisbedwhileheremovedhisownclothes.Shecouldbarelysee
himinthefaintlightfromthewindow,butwhatshesawwasdevastating,andherbreathcaught.
"Youknowwhattoexpectalready,"hewhisperedasheeaseddownbesideherandbegantoarouse
heralloveragain."Exceptthatthistime,"hewhisperedintohermouth,"I'mgoingtofillyou..."
Shecriedout.Hismouthhurt,hisbodywashardandheavy,butshedidn'tnotice,didn'tcare.She
welcomedthewarmweightofhim,thefiercepassionofhismouthandhands.Sheevenwelcomedthe
faintflashofpainwhenhecameintoher,herbodyarchinguptoreceivehim,hereyeswidewith
shockandaweasheslowlycompletedhispossessionandthenpaused,hoveringwithheronthebrink
ofsomesensualprecipice.
Oneleanhandhadherhipinitssteelygrasp.Helookedather,breathingunsteadily,hissilvereyes
glisteningwithexcitement,beadsofsweatonhislean,swarthyface.
Hishandcontractedandhemoved,sensually,justenoughtomakeherfeverishlyawareofhow
intimatetheirembracewas.
Shecaughtherbreathandhelaughed,deepinhisthroat.
"Yes,"hewhisperedroughly."Youdidn'trealizejusthowintimateitwasgoingtobe,didyou,little
one?"
"N-no,"shegotout.Shelookedathiminastonishment,feelinghimineverycellofherbody.Itwas
embarrassing,shocking,totalktoamaninthethroesofsuchintimacy.Andhewaslaughing."Itisn't
funny,"shechoked.
"I'mnotlaughingbecauseI'mamused,"hewhispered,andbenttonibblewithbarelycontainedhunger
athersoftlyswollenlips.Hishipscurleddownintohersandlifted,creatingasuddensensualvortex
thatcoaxedacryofshockedpleasurefromherlips."I'mlaughingbecauseyou'rethemostsensual
littlevirginintheworld,andbecausedespitethenewnessandfear,you'regivingyourselftome
withoutasingleinhibition.Liftyourhips.Letmefeelyouascloseasyoucanget."
Sheobeyedhim,herbodyonfire.Herdreamshadneverbeensoexplicit.Hernailsbitintohisbroad
shouldersashebegantomovewithexquisitedelicacy.
"Imaybealittleroughwithyounow,"hewhisperedintohermouth."Don'tbeafraidofmypassion.
Ifyougiveyourselftoit,tome,I'llgiveyouakindofpleasureyoucan'tevenimagine.Matchme.
Matchmyrhythm.Don'tpullback.That'sit."Histeethclenchedandhegroanedashisbodystiffened.
"Oh,God,I'mlosingit...!"
Hedid.Helostitcompletely,beforehecouldgiveherthetimesheneededtoexperiencefulfillment.
Hearchedaboveher,hisfacecontortedandterribleinitsunearthlypleasure,andhebitoffsomething
explicitandharshashegaveintothesilkyconvulsions.
"I'msorry,"hewhispered,lyingdrainedandheavyoverher."MyGod,I'msosorry!"
"Sorrythatyoumadelovetome?"sheaskedinacuriouswhisper.
"SorrythatIdidn'tsatisfyyou!"
"Oh."Shestrokedhisdarkhairgently."Youmean,thewayyoudidthenightweweremarried?"She
smiled."Nowyoucan,can'tyou?"
Hestaredatherpoleaxed."Youthinkthatwhatjusthappenedwasonlyformybenefit?"
Shefrowned."Wasn'tit?"
Hepulledhercloseandhisarmstightened.
"You'reoneinamillion,doyouknowthat?Liftthisleg...yes!"
Shegaspedashisbodysuddenlybecamepartofhers.Shehadn'texpectedthisagainsosoon.Weren't
mensupposedtobeincapableforseveralminutesafterintimacy?
Hemovedslowly,exquisitely,andherbreathcaught.Sheclungtohim,asthemostastounding
sensationsworkedthroughhertighteningbody.
"Donavan,"shebegan,andsuddenlycriedoutattheunexpectedspasmofstaggeringpleasure.
"Bequiet,sweetheart,"hewhisperedathermouth,hishipsmovingwithmoreinsistencenow,more
purpose."Holdontight.Yes,Fay,feelit,yes...yes!"
Sheweptbrokenlyasthepleasureburstinsideherlikeanoverfilledballoon.Shehadnocontrol
whatsoeveroverherbodyortheviciouscontractionsthatconvulsedherunderhisopenlywatchful
eyes.
Hewhisperedtoher,wordsofencouragement,praise,flattery,whilehismouthtouchedquicklyover
herflushed,tautface.Itwentonandon.Sheshudderedandclung,convulsedandclung,experiencing
sensationsbeyondherwildestdreamsofperfection.
Atlast,theworldstoppedrockingandwhirlingaroundher.Shetrembledhelplesslyintheaftermath,
drenchedinsweat,weepingsoftlyfromtheonrushofpleasureanditsabruptloss.
Donavancradledherinhishardarms,smoothingbackherdamphairashecomfortedher.
"This,"hesaidafterafewminutes,"iswhatintimacyreallyis."
"Ithought...before,atthemotel..."Shecouldn'tquitefindthewords.
"Analternatewayofmakinglove,"hesaidquietly."Butnothingliketherealthing.Wasit,Fay?"
Hewasn'tmocking,orteasing.Hisvoicewassoftanddeepandmatter-of-fact.
"We...werelikeoneperson,"shewhisperedintohiscool,hair-roughenedchest.
"Yes."Hischeekmovedagainsthersandhekissedher,verygently.
Herbodyfeltpleasantlytired.Shewentbonelessagainsthimandslidevencloser,herlegstangling
withhis."CanIstaywithyou?"sheaskeddrowsily.
Hisarmstightened."Letmeputitthisway—justtrytogetaway."
Shesmiledsleepily."Idon'tthinkIwantto."
Hebitthelobeofherearsoftly."Iwantyouagain,rightnow,"hesaidhuskily,feelingherheartjump
underhispalm."Butwe'llwaituntilinthemorning.Itdidn'thurt?Eventhefirsttime?"
"No,"shelied,andsnuggledcloser.Ithadn'thurtverymuch.Andthesecondtimehadbeenheaven.
"Fay,"hesaidhesitantly.Hisfingersthreadedthroughhersofthair."Fay,Iforgottouseanything."
Shedidn'tstir,oranswer.Helookeddownandrealizedbelatedlythatshewasasleep.
Hebentandkissedherclosedeyelids."Maybeit'sjustaswellthatyoudidn'thearme,"hewhispered.
Hisleanhandfoundhersoftbellyandrestedtherepossessively."You'dloveababy,Fay.SowouldI.
Maybeit'salreadyhappened.Ifithas,perhapsIcan
convinceyouthatitwouldbeabonus,notacomplication."
Faywaswaveringbetweenconsciousnessandsleep.SheheardDonavansaysomethingaboutabonus,
buthermindwasalreadyheadedforoblivion.Sheclungcloserandgaveintoit.
ChapterNine
FaywashummingsoftlytoherselfwhenDonavancameinfromthebarn.He'dgoneoutwithout
wakingher,andshewasdisappointed.She'dbeenhopingthatthenightbeforemighthavecoaxedhim
towantheragain,butobviouslythathopehadbeendoomed.
Shestoppedhummingwhenhewalkedin,hereyesalittleshyandnervous."Goodmorning,"she
began,searchingfortherightwords.
Hepausedinthedoorway,andhecouldhavebeenplayingpokerforalltheexpressioninhisface.
Herstiffcomposuretoldhimthingshedidn'twanttoknow.He'dpleasedherinthenight.He'dhoped
thatthingswouldchangebetweenthemnowthatsheknewwhatmarriedlifecouldbe.Buthewasn't
reassured.Shelookeduncomfortableandpoisedtorun.Ifshefeltanythingforhim,itdidn'tshow.
Andheneededsomereassurancebeforeheparadedhisownfeelingsinfrontofher;hispridewould
takeamightyblowifshedidn'tcareanymore.
"Goodmorning,"herepliedwithequalformality."Breakfastready?"
"Almost."
Heturned."I'llcallJeff."
Andnotawordwassaid,eitheraboutthenightbefore,oraboutwhathefelt.Faywatchedhim
surreptitiously,hopingtoseesomeflickerofwarmthinthosesilvereyes.Buttheynevermethers.He
waspolite,nothingmore.Fayleftthetableresolvednottoexpectanythingfromthatencounterinthe
darknessthenightbefore.Itwasjustaswell,becausethatnighthedidn'tcomenearher.
Thenextmorning,theywenttochurch,andthenspentalazyafternooninfrontofthetelevision
watchingoldmovies.TherehadhardlybeenthreewordsspokeninfrontofJeff,wholooked
worried.
"Somethingbotheringyou?"Donavanaskedcurtlyaftersupper.
Jefflookeduncomfortable."Yes,sir.Sortof."
"Whatisit?"
"It'syouandAuntFay,"hesaidmiserably,wincingatFay'sshockandDonavan'squickanger."I'm
sorry,butifyoutwogointocourttomorrowlookinglikeyoudorightnow,IguessI'llbebackin
militaryschoolbythenextmorning.Couldyoupretendtolikeeachother,justwhilewe'reincourt?"
"Noproblemthere,"Donavanassuredhim."Nowyou'dbettergetyourbathandgotosleep.We've
gotabigdayaheadtomorrow."
Whenhelefttheroom,Donavangotupandturnedoffthetelevision.HiseyeslingeredonFay's
flushedcheeksforafewsecondsbeforehespoke.
"He'sdeadright,"hetoldher."Ifwedon'tpresentaunitedfront,hewon'tbeabletostayhere."
"Iknow."Shefoldedherhandsinherlapandclenchedthem,staringathernails."Idon'twanthimto
havetoleave,Donavan,whateveryouthink."
Hisbroadshouldersliftedandfellinanoffhandgesture.Helitacigarandstaredatitstip."Ishouldn't
havelostmyheadnightbeforelast,"hesaidtersely."Itmadethingsworsebetweenus."
Shedidn'tknowhowtoanswerthat.Shepickedatoneofherfingernailsanddidn'tlookup."Itwas
myfault,too."
"Wasit?Youdidn'tseduceme,honey,"hedrawled.
Shesighedheavily."I'mnotonthepill,"shesaid.
Hehesitated."Yes,Iknow."
"Andyou...well,youdidn'tdoanything..."
"That'sright,"hereplied."Keepgoing."
Sheclearedherthroat,glancingupathim."Youmighthavemademepregnant."
Onecornerofhismouthcurvedgently."There'sanoldfamilychristeninggownaroundhere
somewhere.Mygreat-grandmothermadethelaceit'sedgedin.There'sahighchairandevenacradle
thatdatebacktothefirstsettlersinJacobsville."
Fay'sgreeneyessoftenedastheymethis.Hercheekswarmedasshelookedathim."I...Ihavea
baptismalset,too.Thefurniture'sallgone.Butthere'soneantiquethatGreat-AuntTessiekept-silver
baptismalbowl.Isaveditfromtheauction."
Thementionofherdeceasedrelativemadehisexpressionbecomegrim.Heavertedhisfaceand
smokedhiscigar,stillpacingslowly."Youinheritedalotofmoney,”hesaid."Can'tyoukeepthe
furniture,ordon'tyouwantit?"
"Ihavenoplaceforitinmyapartment,"shesaidsimply.
Hespunonhisheel,glaringather."Thisisyourhome.There'snowayonearthyou'releavinghere
untilIknowifyou'repregnant."
Shestarted."It'sunlikely..."
"Why?Becauseitwasthefirsttime?"heaskedwithmockingamusement.
Hissophisticatedattitudeangeredher."Can'twetalkaboutsomethingelse?"sheaskedstiffly.
"Sure."Heraisedthecigartohisfirmlips.Hefeltoptimisticforthefirsttime.Shestillreactedto
him.Shecouldn'thidethewayheaffectedher.Itmadehimfeelproudtorealizethatshewasas
helplesslyattractedtohimashewastoher.
Now,ifonlyherheartwasinvolved...
"Whydon'tyousleepwithmetonight?"heaskedsensuously."Afterall,onemoretimeisn'tgoingto
makemuchdifferencenow."
"Youdon'twantmetostayhere,"shesaid."Idon'twantachildwhohastogrowupwithouthis
father."
"Ididn'tsayIdidn'twantyoutostayhere,"hereturned.
"Youdidso!"sheraged,standing."Yousaidthatyoudidn'twantmeanymorebecausemygreat-aunt
diedandleftmerichagain!YouletmegotoFloridaallbymyself—"
"Notquite.Henrywentwithyou,"hepointedout.
Shecontinuedasifhehadn'tinterrupted"—andthenyousaidIcouldfindsomewhereelsetolive!"
"Ididn'tsaythat,"hemurmureddryly."Surelynot?"
"Yes,youdid!"
'"thatwasbeforeIsleptwithyou,ofcourse,"hepointedout,lettinghiseyespunctuatetheflat
statement."NowI'mhopelesslyaddicted."
"Anywomanwoulddo,"shemuttered.
"Notreally,orI'dhavehadafewinthepastyearorso.I'dallbutlostinterestinsexuntilyoucame
alongandknockedmylegsoutfromunderme."
"Alikelystory,afterthethingsyoudidtomenightbeforelast...!"
Shestoppedverysuddenly,herhandgoingtohermouthassherealizedwhatshe'dsaid.Shesatdown
again,hard.
"Ihadexperience,Fay,"hesaidsoftly.
Sheflushed."Inoticed!"
"Youmightconsiderthatthoseearlyencountersmadeyourlifealittleeasier."
Shestaredatherfeet,stillsmoldering."YoudidthingstomethatIneverevenreadinbooks."
"I'lltellyouasecret,honey,"hemused,puttingouthiscigarbeforehecametokneelbetweenherlegs
whereshesatrigidlyonthesofa.Hewasalmostonalevelwithhershockedeyesashelookedinto
them."I'veneverdonewithanyonesomeofthosethingsIdidtoyou.Andnevercould."
"C-couIdn'tyou?"shewhispered.
"No."Hishandscaughtherwaistandpulledgently,suddenlyoverbalancingsothatshelanded
breathlesslyonhischest.Herolled,pinningherunderhimonthebigthrowrug.Asheheldhereyes,
onelongleginserteditselfbetweenbothofhersandhemovedslowly.
"Iwantyouagain.Now,"hetoldher,hisbodyscreamingitintheintimateembrace.Hisleanhand
smoothedblatantlyoverhersoftbreastandthenbegantoslipbuttonsoutofbuttonholes.
"Butthedoor..."shebegan.
"Isn'tclosed.Iknow."Heslidhishandinsideherbodiceandunderhersoftbra,tofindevensofter
flesh.Hisfingersgentlycaressedit,andshearched,gasping."I'mgoingtocarryyoutobednow,"he
breathed."AndI'mgoingtodoallthosethingsIdidtwonightsago.Rightnow."
Hegottohisfeetandpickedherup,shiftinghergentlyashecarriedherdownthelonghallandinto
hisbedroom.Heplacedheronthebedspreadandwenttocloseandlockthedoor.Thenhestoodatthe
footofthebed,hisblackhairhalfinhiseyes,hisfacedevoidofexpression,hisbodyblatantly
aroused.
Sheeasedupontoherelbows,feelingfeminineandhotlydesired,hergreeneyeslostintheglitterof
hisgrayones.Henoddedslowly.Andthenhemovedtowardher.
Butjustashereachedher,bentoverher,warmedhermouthwithhisbreathinadeliciouslytensebit
ofprovocation—thetelephonerangnoisilyonthebedsidetable.
Donavanstaredatitblankly,asifforamomenthedidn'tevenrealizewhatwasmakingthenoise.
Impatientlyhejerkedupthereceiverandspokeintoit.
Afamiliar,sarcasticvoicecameovertheline—BradDanner,Jeffsstepfather.
"I'mlookingforwardtotomorrow,Donavan,"hetoldtheangrymanontheotherendoftheline."If
youthinkthatshammarriageisgoingtomakeanydifferenceinacustodysuit,you'reverywrong."
"Itisn'tashammarriage,"Donavansaidtersely,withoutlookingatFay,whowassittingshockedand
disorientedbesidehimnow,onthebed.
“I’llletyouprovethattomorrow.Takegoodcareofmystepson,won'tyou?I'mlookingforwardto
havinghimhomeagain."
"Yes,itwouldbesomethingofaluxury,wouldn'tit?"Donavanaskedicily."Whenyoustuckhimin
militaryschoolathisfirstshowofspirit."
"Oneofyouinafamilyisenough,"theothermanreplied,obviouslystrainingtokeephistemper.
"Allmymarriedlife,Debbiethrewyouuptome.NothingIdidwaseverright,everthesamething
youwouldhavedoneinmyplace.MyGod,youdon'tnowhowIhatedyou!"
"Debbiealwayshadatendencytoromanticizeeverything,"Donavansaidcurtly."AfterDaddied,I
wasallshehad.Asforheropinionofyou,"headdedwithmockingamusement,"Ihadnothingtodo
withit.Youwereaspinelesscomplainerfromdayone.Anddon'ttellmethedowryIgaveherwasn't
therealinducementtogetyoutothealtar.Youspenthalfofitthefirstweekyouweremarriedto
Debbie—onyourmistress!"
Theotherreceiverslammeddown.Donavanslowlyreplacedhis,chucklingwithbitteramusement.
"Jeffswould-beguardian,"hesaid,noddingtowardthetelephone."Hefancieshimselfaman.Imagine
that?"
"Hemighthavelovedyoursister,"shebegan.
"Really?Ifhedid,whywasheinvolvedwithanotherwomanbefore,duringandafterthemarriage?
Thewomanhe'smarriedtonow,bytheway.Debbie'sinsurancemoneysetthemuprealwell.He
madesurethatJeffwasn'tmentionedasabenefici-ary."
"Hesoundsverymercenary,"shesaidquietly.
"Hethinkshecanprovethatourmarriageisafraud,"hesaid.Hiseyesnarrowedonherface."It's
imperativethatweactlikelovers.Youunderstandthat?"
Shenodded.Hereyesfelltohisbroadchest,wherehisshirtwasunbuttonedoverathickmatof
curlingblackhair.
"Iunderstand."Herlipspartedwithhelplesshunger,butsheloweredhereyessothathewouldn'tsee
howshefelt."That'swhyyoubroughtmeinhere,isn'tit,Donavan?Sothatitwouldshow,incourt
tomorrow,thatwe'dbeenintimate."
Hehesitated,butonlyforaninstant."Yes,"hesaidcurtly."That'srightIwantedtomakeyoulook
loved,sothatIwouldn'trisklosingJeff."
"Isee."
Herdefeatedexpressionmadehimwild."Hemightrunawayifhegetssentback,don'tyousee?He's
high-strung.Ican'tletthathappen.He'sallthefamilyIhaveleftintheworld,Fay!"
Shestoodupwithalong,gentlesigh."Funny,"shesaidassheturned."Onceuponatime,IthoughtI
waspartofyourfamily.Itjustgoestoshowhowmoneycanwarpyou.Beingrichmusthavemade
mestupid."
Herammedhishandsintohispockets.Hefeltguilty,andhedidn'tlikeit.Shewasrich.Shehadthe
world.Shedidn'tneedapoorhusbandandaready-madefamily,anyway.Evenifhewantedherfor
keeps,whichhedidn't.Hehadonescandaltolivedown.Hecouldn'ttakeanother.
Heonlyhopedhehadn'tmadeherpregnantinthatfeverishcoupling.Itwouldmakeherlife
impossible,becauseheknewhe'dneverbeabletoturnhisbackonhisownchild.She'dbetrapped
then,andsowouldhe.
"It'sjustaswellthatBradinterruptedus,"hesaidtersely,thinkingaloud."I'vebeenunforgivably
carelessabouttakingprecautions.It'sjustaswellifwedon'ttakeanymorerisks.I'llseeyouinthe
morning,Fay."
Itwasadismissal.Helookedasunapproachableasaporcupine.Faycouldn'tunderstandwhyhe'd
botheredtryingtoseduceherinthefirstplace.Nowheseemedconcernedaboutnotmakingher
pregnant.
Shelefthimthereandwenttobed,hurtandbitterandtotallyconfused.
Shedressedverycarefullyforcourtthenextmorning,inheroff-whitesuitandleatherhighheels.
Shecarriedtheonedesignerpurseshehadleft,andworeaverybecomingandveryexpensivespring
hat.Shelookedwhatshewas—ayoungwomanwithbreedingwho'dbeenraisedtobealady.
Donavan,inhispalegraysuit,wasopenlyappreciativeofthewayshelooked.Infact,hecouldhardly
keephiseyesoffher.
"Youlook...lovely,"hesaid.
Shemanagedacoolsmile."Whythankyou,darling,"shesaid,playingherparttothehilt.Onlyher
eyesgavetheshowaway,becausetheywereliketwogreenpiecesofice.Hishot-coldattitudehad
wornherout.Shewasgivingupallhopeofahappymarriage,butfirstshewasgoingtohelpJeffout
ofhispredicament.Itwasamatterofhonor.She'dgivenherword.
"Verynice,"herepliedcurtly."You'llconvinceanyonewhodoesn'tlookatyourfacetooclosely."
"Icanhandlethat."Shepulledthehat'smatchingveildownoverhernose."Now.Onewife,properly
accountedfor,readytogoonstage."
Hestiffenedandturnedaway,hisangerevidentandblatant.
Jeffcameoutofhisbedroominasuit.HelookedfromFaytoDonavanandgrimaced."Well,Iguess
I'masreadyasI'lleverbe,butI'msurenotlookingforwardtoit."
"Neitherarewe,"Donavansaid."Allthemorereasontogetitoverwithassoonaspossible.Trynot
toworry,"headdedgently,placinganaffectionatehandontheboy'sstoopedshoulder."Andstandup
straight.Don'tlethimthinkhe'sgotyoubuffaloed."
"Yes,UncleDon."
HeherdedFayandJeffouttothecaranddrovethemtothecountycourthouseinasilencefilledwith
worriedlooksandcigarsmoke.
BradDannerwasn'tatallwhatFayhadexpected.Hewasshortandredheadedandlookedasifhehad
amassiveego.
"Soyou'rethebrand-newMrs.J.D.Langley,"Bradsaidmockingly,shakingoffthefirmhandofa
suitedmanwhowasprobablyhisattorney."Well,itwon'twork.Youmightaswellgobackto
whicheverbarhefoundyouatandthrowinyourchips.You'llneverpullthisoff.I'vegottoomuch
onyou!"
"Haveyouindeed?"Fayasked,enjoyingherselfnow."Actually,Donavandidfindmeinabar."She
leanedcloser."ButIdidn'tworkthere."
"Oh,ofcoursenot,"heagreedamiably,andlaughedasheturnedbacktothebleachedblondewiththe
overlipstickedmouthwhowasobviouslypregnantandalmostcertainlyhiswife.
DonavanmotionedforFaytositdownatthetablewithhim.Jeffhadalreadybeentakenawaybya
juvenileofficerforthecourseofthehearing.
Formalitieshadtobeobserved.Oncethosewereoutoftheway,Donavan'sattorney—anelderlyman
withkeeneyesandalarmingdignity—offeredBrad'sattorneytheopportunitytopresenthiscasefirst.
Donavanlookednervous,butMr.Floresonlysmiledandwinked.
Brad'sattorneygotupandmadealongspeechaboutthethingsBradhaddoneforhisstepson,most
recentlyhavingenrolledhiminatop-flighteducationalfacility,whichwouldleadhimtoan
admirablecareer.
"WedoconcedethatMr.Dannerhasnobloodrelationshipwiththeboy,asdoesMr.Langley.
However,despitehishastymarriageinanattempttopresentastablehomeenvironment,Mr.Langley
overlookedonesmalldetail.Heneglectedtokeephisnewwifeclosetohome."
FayandDonavanexchangedpuzzledglances.Theopposingattorneyopenedhisbriefcaseand
draggedoutseveralphotographsofFaywithheruncleonthewaytoFlorida,andatTessie's
apartment,wherethey'dstayeduntilthefuneralwasover.
"ThisisthekindofmonkeybusinessthenewMrs.Langleygetsuptowhenherhusband'sbackis
turned,"theattorneysaidhaughtily,glaringatFayasifshewereafallenwoman."Hardlyamoral
exampleforayoungboy!"
Donavanchuckled.
"Youfindthesephotographsamusing,Mr.Lang-ley?Youhadbeenmarriedforonlyamatterofdays,
Ibelieve,whenMrs.LangleyandhergentlemanfriendflewtoFloridaalone?"
"Youaren'tfromhere,areyou?"Donavanaskedtheattorney."Andapparentlyneitherisyourprivate
detective."
"Heisn'taprivatedetective,he'safriendofminewhousedtobeinintelligenceworkduringthe
KoreanWar,"Bradsaidstiffly."Butyouwon'tlieyourwayoutofthis.Thatmaninthephotographs
is...!"
"...myuncle,"Faysaid.SheglancedatJudgeRidley,whowasanoldfriendofherfamily—andwho
wasalsotryingnottobreakup.
"I'mafraidso,"JudgeRidleyagreed,wipingtheunjudicialsmileoffhisface."I'veknownHenryfor
years."
"Ifhe'sheruncle,whydoesn'thehavethesamesurnameshedoes?"theotherattorneyargued.
"HenryisFay'smother'sbrother,"JudgeRidleyexplained."Surelyyourdetectivechecked?"
"Hesaid.Donavanhadprobablyfoundheratabar,"Bradbegan.
"Mrs.LangleyandherunclewenttoFloridatomakethefinalarrangementsforMrs.Langley'sgreat-
aunt,"Donavan'sattorneyclarified."Asforyourfriend'sassertionthatMrs.Langleyworkedinabar,
letmeassureyouthatnothingcouldbefartherfromthetruth.Inpointoffact,shewasadebutante.
Andnow,withthedeathofhergreat-aunt,shestandstoinheritalargeshareoftheestate."
Bradlookedsick.
"Iamalsoreliablytold,"JudgeRidleyinterrupted,"bytheyoungboywhosecustodyisinquestion,
thathisuncleandMrs.Langleyhaveawarm,lovingrelationship,whichgiveshimamuch-needed
feelingofsecurity.Youraccusationthatthemarriageisfraudulenthardlyconcurswiththehomelife
theyoungmandescribes."
"He'ddoanythingtogetJeff,evenpretendingtobehappilymarried.Askhimifhelovesher,"he
challengedthejudge."Goahead!Heneverlies.Makehimtellherhowhereallyfeelsabouther!"
Faystoodup."Iknowhowmyhusbandfeelsaboutme,Mr.Danner,"shesaidstiffly."Ialsoknowhow
youfeelabouthim.Jeffisonlyapawntoyou.Buthe'saflesh-and-bloodboytoDonavan.They're
veryhappytogether.Jeffwillgetagoodeducationandcaringcompany,anditwon'tbeinamilitary
schoolwhereheisn'tevenallowedweekendvisitshomemorethantwiceayear!Ifyouwantedhimso
badly,whysendhimawayinthefirstplace?"
"Agoodquestion,"thejudgeagreed.HestaredatBrad,whowasslowlyturningred."Answerit,
please."
"Mywifeispregnant,"Bradsaidshortly."Jeffmakeshernervous.Isn'tthatright,honey?"
"Ifailtoseewhyyousoughtcustody,Mr.Danner,"thejudgepersisted.
"Oh,tellhim,Bradley,"theblondemuttered.Shesandedanailtoperfection."Heonlywantsthe
insurancemoney.He'safraidifhelosescustody,he'llhavetogiveJeffhisshareofit,andhe's
alreadyspentit."
"Youidiot!"Bradragedathiswife.
"What'ssoterribleaboutthetruth?"sheaskedwithcarelessunconcern."Youweresoscaredofyour
brother-in-lawfindingout.Well,nowheknows.Bigdeal.It'sonlyathousanddollars,anyway.Ifyou
hadn'tboughtthatstupidboat,youcouldhaveaffordedtopayitback."
Thecourtroomerupted.Beforethefurstoppedflying,FaygotaglimpseoftherealBradDanner,and
shewasverysorryforhissecondwife.BythetimeFayandDonavanleftthecourtroom,withcustody
ofJeffandthepromiseofrepaymentoftheinsurancemoneyJeffshouldhavehad,Fay'sheadwas
whirling.
"AuntFay,I'msorelieved!"Jefflaughed,andhuggedherimpulsively."Icanstay,isn'titradical?"
“Justradical,"sheagreedhappily.
"AndyouandUncleDonfooledthemall,"headded."Everybodythoughtyouwerethemostdevoted
coupleanywhere!"
"Thatwasthejokeofthecentury,allright,"Faysaidquietly,andmetDonavan'sangryeyesoverJeffs
head."Congratulations.You'vegotwhatyouwanted."
"Yes,"hesaid."I'vegoteverythingIwanted."
Shesmiledcoolly,gratefulfortheveilthathidhersadness,andputanaffectionatearmaroundJeffas
theywalkedtowardthecar.
Donavanwalkedalittlebehindthem.Hedidn'tknowhowhefeltexactly,butelatedwouldn'thave
coveredit.HewasgladtohaveJeffwithhim,ofcourse,butintheprocesshewascertaintoloseFay.
Thatshouldn'tbotherhim.Faywasrich;hewasn't.Theirlife-styleswouldnevermix,andeveryone
wouldthinkthathe'dmarriedherforhermoney.Hell,theyprobablythoughtitalready.Helaughedat
hisownfolly.Evenifhedivorcedherthey'dsayhewasafterabigcashsettlementinreturnforher
freedom.They'dsaylikefather,likeson.
Suddenlythepubliccensurethathadworriedhimsomuchbeforefellintoplace.Ifheknewwhathis
motiveswere,diditreallymatterwhatafewsmall-mindedpeoplethought?Itwasusuallythe
hypocriteswhogossiped,anyway—thepeoplewholivedpubliclivesofhighmoralityandprivate
livesofglaringimpurity.Thefewfriendshehadwouldn'tsitinjudgmentonhim.Sowhywashe
agonizingoverhisplight?
HeglancedatFayhungrily.Hell,hewantedher.He'dgrownusedtohavingheraroundthehouse.He
enjoyedwatchingherstumblingattemptstocookediblemeals.Helikedthesmellofherperfume
whenhestoodclosetoher,andthewayshefussedoverhimandJeff,asifitreallymatteredtoher
thatsomethingmighthappentooneofthem.Helikedher,mostespecially,slidingunderhisbodyin
bed,givinghimherwarmthandexquisitesensuality,givinghimecstasythateveninmemorycould
makehimweakintheknees.Hewantedtostaywithher.Hewantedachildwithher.Wasittoolate?
Hadhedonetoomuchdamage?
"Supposewestopoffatthepizzaplaceandgetasupremetogo?"Jeffsuggested."Afterall,weare
celebrating."
"Goodidea.We'llgiveAuntFaythenightoff,"Donavanagreed.
"He'sjusttiredofbouncingbiscuitsandblacksteak,"shetoldJeffwithasigh."Iguessonewell-
cookedmealwon'tkillusall."
Jefflaughed,butFaydidn't.NowthatDonavanhadJeff,shewonderedhowmuchtimeshehadleft
untilDonavanwantedheroutofhislifeforgood.
ChapterTen
Thepizzawasdelicious.Fayenjoyeditasmuchastherestofthefamilyseemedto,butherheart
wasn'tinthecelebration.Shewantedtostandupandscreamthatlifewasunfair,thatshe'dbeen
shortchangedallthewayaround.She'dalwayshadmoney.Butshe'dneverhadlove.Nowitseemed
thatshedidn'thaveeither.Great-AuntTessie'slegacywouldbenice,butitwouldhardlyallowherto
giveupherjob.Withsomecarefulinvesting,itwouldgrow,aslongasshecouldliveonwhatshe
made.
Sheworriedaboutthatfortherestoftheday,tryingtoputonahappyfaceforJeff.ButDonavansaw
throughit.HejoinedherintheporchswingwhileJeffplayedwithoneofthreenewsnow-white
puppiesinthebarn.
"Wewon,"heremindedherashesmokedhiscigar.Likeher,he'dchangedintocasualclothes—jeans
andacottonshirt.Heproppedonebootedfootontheswingandglanceddownather."Aren'tyou
glad?"
"Ofcourse,"shesaidabsently."IknowhowworriedJeffwas."
Hestaredoutoverthehorizon."Therereallywasn'ttoomuchtoworryabout,"hemused."Ihada
contactofminefeedhisKoreanWarveteranbuddyafewscandalousfactsaboutyouandUncle
Henry.It'snotmyfaultthemantookitforgospelanddidn'tdoublecheck.Hisloss,mygain."
"Donavan!"sheburstout."That'sdevious!"
"That'showIamwhenpeopleIlovegetthreatened."Helookeddownather."I'llfightunderthetable,
anywayatall,towinwhensomeoneelse'slifedependsonit.Icouldn'tletthatstruttingroosterget
Jeff.Itwasn'tatugofwarwithme—itwasJeffswholelife."
"Iknowheappreciateswhatyou'vedoneforhim."
"Idon'timagineyoudo.I'msorrytohavemadeyoulook,eventemporarily,likeafallenangel.ButI
hadnochoice."
"Iunderstood.Eventhejudgewashavingahardtimekeepingastraightface."
"Wheredowegofromhere,Fay?"heaskedsolemnly.
Shelistenedtothecreakasthewoodenswingpulledagainstthechainsrhythmically.
"I'llstayuntilyourbrother-in-lawissafelybackhomeandoverhisdefeat,"shesaid."We'vealready
discussedwhereI'llgo."
"Nowehaven't,"hedisagreed."YousaidyouweregoingtomovebacktotheapartmenthouseandI
saidyouweren't.MyGod,buyyourselfaplace,whydon'tyou?"
Herhandsclaspedtogetherpainfully.Didn'theknowhewastearingtheheartoutofher?
"Imight,lateron."
Shewasn'tgivinganinch.Hecouldn'ttellanythingbyhervoiceorherexpression.
"Youcouldstayonhere,"heremarkedcasually."There'splentyofroom.Jefflikesyou.Sodoes
Bee."
"I'veburnedupenoughgoodfoodalready."
"Wehaven'tcomplained."
Shesmiledtoherself.Amazinglytheyhadn't.Onlythreedaysago,Jeffhadcomplimentedheronone
smallsidedishthatwasactuallyfittoeat.
"Imightgetthehangofitoneday."
Hestudiedhisboot."Howaboutgettingthehangofmakingformulaandchangingdirtydiapers?"he
asked,hiseyesonthehorizon.
Shehesitated.Hesounded...serious."Whatdoyoumean?"
Heshrugged.Heliftedthecigartohismouthandtookadrawfromit,blowingoutalargecloudof
pungentsmoke."Imean,supposewestayedmarried.Ifyou'dletme,IthinkIcouldmakeyou
pregnanteventually.Wecouldraiseafamily,giveJeffastableenvironmenttofinishgrowingupin."
Shestudiedhisprofile.Nothingthere.Helookedasformidableashehadthefirsttimeshe'deverseen
him.Justashandsome,too,shethoughtwistfully.
Heglanceddownandsawthatwistfulnessandoneeyebrowwentup.Helookedatheropenlynow,
fromherforeheaddowntohermouthandbackuptohereyes."You'rethinner.I'vebeencrueltoyou,
Fay.Givemeachancetoputthingsright."
"Bymakingmepregnant?"sheaskedwithpretendedlightness.
"Ifit'swhatyouwant,yes.Ifnot,wecanputifoffforafewyears.You'restillveryyoung,littleone.
Youmightliketogotocollegeordosometravelingbeforeyougettieddownwithchildren."
"I'vealreadydonemytraveling,andIdon'twanttogotocollege.Ihaveanicejobalready."
"Youcanresignfromthat,"hesaid."Youdon'tneedit."
Shestaredathimforalongmoment,untilhescowled."Actually,"sheconfessed,"I'mafraidIdo."
"Ifyoujustwantawaytogetoutofthehouse..."
Sherestedhercoolfingersatoptheleanhandthatwasproppedonhisjean-cladknee."Donavan,I'm
notexactlygoingtoinheritafortune."
"Yes,Iknow.Henrysaidyou'llonlygetaboutathird,whenit'sallwrappedup.Itdoesn'tmatter,"he
saiddoggedly,avertinghisface."Idon'tgiveadamnwhatpeoplethinkanymore.Idon'tknownow
whyIeverdid.I'mnotlikemyfather.ImarriedyouforJeffssake,notbecauseIstoodtogaina
fortune."
Shefelttheimpactofthatstatementdowntohertoes.Ifonlyhe'dmarriedherforloveofher.She
sighed,audibly.
Hetiltedherfaceuptohis."Whatawistfullittlesound,"hesaidquietly."Youdon'tlikethinkingthatI
onlymarriedyouforJeff.Youlikeditevenlesswhenyouthoughtitwasformoney."
"Itdoesn'tbotherme,"shelied.
"Sureitdoes,"hecounteredquietly."Iwantedyou,"hesaidsoftly."Youknewthatalready,Iimagine."
"Yes."
"Youwantedmeback.Ididn'thavetocoerceyouintomybed.Youcamewillingly."
Sheflushedandlookeddownattheleanfingersthatslowlywrappedaroundhersinacloseembrace.
"Itwasnewand...exciting."
"Morethanjustexciting,Ithink,littleone."Hisvoicewassoft,deep,sensual."Ilostyouforafew
secondsjustasIfulfilledyou.ItmademefeelprettygoodtoknowIcouldgiveyouthatmuch
pleasure."
"Asyousaid,"sheswallowed,"you'vehadalotofexperience."
"I'vehadalotofbodies,"hesaidwithfaintcynicism."Justthat,Fay,alotofbodiesinthedark.Iwent
throughthemotionsandlearnedtherightmoves.ButitwasnothinglikewhatIhadwithyou,evenon
ourweddingnight,whenmyhandswereallbuttied.Iknewthenthatitwasmorethanphysical
attraction.ButIknewitforcertainwhenIputyouonthatplanetoFloridaandletyouwalkawayfrom
me.Ididn'tsleepallnight,forthinkinghowcruelI’dbeen.YoulovedTessie,andI’dgivenyouno
comfort,nosupportatall.I’msorryforthat.Iowedyoumorethanthat."
"Youowedmenothing,"shetoldhimdully."WegotmarriedforJeff,that'sall."
Hisfreehandspreadagainsthersoftcheekandliftedherface."Haven'tyoubeenlisteningtomeat
all?"heaskedsoftly.
"Yes,"shesaidnervously."You'vegotmeonyourconscience."
"Fay,listenwithyourheart,notyourears,"hereplied.Hesearchedherfacewitheyesthatadoredit
"Can'tyouseeit?Can'tyoufeelit?Fay,can'tyouputyourmouthonmineandtasteit...?"
Hepulledherlipsunderhisandkissedherwithsuchtendernessthatshefeltherbodyripplewith
sheerpleasure.
Histongueprobedinsidehermouth,increasingtheheat,makinghermoan.Whilehebuiltthekiss,he
liftedandturnedher,sothatshewaslyingcompletelyinhisarms,pressedcloseagainsttheheatof
hismuscularchest.
Unseen,hisleanhandeasedinsidehershirtandbegantotracethewarm,tautcontoursofherbreast
untilhemadethenipplegohardagainsthisfingers.
Heliftedhisheadminuteslater,andlookeddownatherswollenmouthanddazedeyesbeforehis
gazedroppedtothetautnipplesoevidentunderthethinfabric.
"YoulookasoutofcontrolasIfeel,"hesaidhuskily,hisgrayeyespuresilverinthedaylight."Ifwe
werealone,Iwouldn'tevenbothertostripyou.I’djustgetthenecessarythingsoutofthewayandI’d
takeyoulikeatornado."
Sheshivered,pressingherhotfaceintohisthroat
"Wantitlikethat?"hewhisperedatherear."Roughandquickandblazinghot?"Heglancedoverher
headatJeff,whowassprawledintheaisleofthebarnplayingwiththedogswhileoneofDon-avan's
olderhandswatchedhim.
DonavanstoodupabruptlyandputFayonherfeet.Catchingtheolderhand'sattention,heindicated
thathewantedhimtokeepaneyeonJeff.Thecowhandnodded,grinnedandwaved.ThenDonavan
turnedbacktoFay,hiseyesglitterywithintent
"Oh...wecan't,"shefalteredashecametowardherandshebeganbackingtowardthescreendoor.
"Surely,youwerekidding,withJeffrightoutside...!"
"LikehellIwaskidding,"hewhisperedagainsthermouth.
Hepickedherupandcarriedherstraightintohisbedroom,pausingjustlongenoughtolockthedoor
beforehebackedherupagainstthewaist-highvanityandopenedthefasteningofherjeans.
Shegaspedandstartedtoprotest,buthehadhermouthunderhis,andshecouldn'tmanagespeech.
Sheheardtheraspofanotherzipper,felthimmove,andthenherjeansslidoffherlegs.Histongue
wentroughlyintohermouth,inquick,sharpthruststhatwereunbelievablyarousing.
Heliftedhersharplyandshefelthimsuddenlyinanintimacythattookherbreath.Hehalfliftedher
fromthevanity,hisbodyleveringbetweenherlegswhileheinvadedherwithurgent,exquisite
mastery.Sheclungtohisneck,feelingtheforceofhisdesirewithfaintaweassheexperiencedfor
thefirsttimetheunbridledviolenceofpassion.
Hewasn'ttender,orparticularlygentle,butthepleasurethatconvulsedherwasbeyondanythinghe'd
givenherbefore.Sheheardhimcryoutandfelthimtense,thenhewasheavyinherarms,dampwith
sweat,tremblingfaintlyfromthestrengthhe'dhadtoexertintheuncomfortableposition.
"Ilikethenoisesthatboiloutofyouwhenwemakelove,"hesaidroughly."Youexciteme."
"Ican'tstopshaking."Shelaughedshyly.
"NeithercanI.Wewenthighthistime."
"Yes.Oh,yes!"
Hedrewback,finally,andlookedather.Hisfacewassolemn,hiseyesquietandgentle.Hebrushed
backherdamphairandsmiled."Thatwillhavetolastusuntiltonight,"hewhispered."Thinkyoucan
manage?"
"Ifyoucan,"sheteased.Hiseyesweretellingherimpossiblethings,toowonderfulforreality."AmI
dreaming?"sheasked.
"No,sweetheart.Notatall."
Heliftedher,separatinghisbodyfromhers,andgrinnedwickedlywhensheflushed.
"Youneedn'tlooksoshocked,"hechidedasherearrangedhisownclothing."Fiveminutesagoyou
wouldn'thavenoticedifwewerelyingunderatableinarestaurant."
"Neitherwouldyou!"sheaccused.
Hedrewhercloseandkissedhergently."That'safact,"hewhispered."God,Iloveyou,Fay."
Shestiffened.Shecouldn'thaveheardthat.Sheopenedhereyes,verywide,andstaredathim.
"Ihaven'tgivenyoumuchreasontobelieveit,butit'struejustthesame,"hetoldherquietly."You're
allIwant,youandJeffandhowevermanykidswecanhavetogether.Ifwecan'thaveany,thenyou
andJeffwillmorethansuffice."
"Howlong?"sheaskedgently,desperatenowtobelievehim.
"Sincetheveryfirstnightwemet,"hereplied."Ifoughtit.God,Idid!Butintheend,Icouldn'tdo
withoutyou.AfterImadelovetoyou,evenlightlove,Iwaslost.IknewI'dneverbeabletoletyou
go."
"ThenIinheritedTessie'smoney,"shebegan.
"Itoldyou.Itdoesn'tmatter.Iloveyou.Dowhateveryoulikewithyourinheritance."
"Inthatcase,"shemurmured,"I'llputitinthebankforJeffseducation.Itshouldjustaboutcover
college."
"Wherearewesendinghimtocollege—theWaldorfAstoria?"
Shesmiledwarmly,convincedatlastthatshewasawakeandaware."Ionlyinheritpartofthe
proceedsfromthesaleofherfurniture,"shetoldhim,andproceededtoexplainwheretherestofthe
moneywasgoing.
Hewassurprised,andfranklypleased,thatFay'sinheritancewouldn'tamounttoverymuch."She
musthavebeensomekindoflady,"heremarked.
"Shewas.Averyspecialone.MysharewilljustaboutpayforJeffscollege.NowyouknowwhyI
wouldn'tgiveupmyjob.Icouldn'taffordto."
"JustaswelltheBallengersmadeoneforyou,"hemurmured.Hesighedheavily."Iguessthismeans
thatI'llhavetostartbeing,ugh,nicetoCal-houn."
"Thatwouldn'thurt,"sheagreed.
"Andyouruncle,"headdedirritably.
"Alsoanicetouch."
Hesearchedhereyes."Iwon'treformcompletely.Youknowthat.I'mexactlywhatyousee.Iwon't
change."
"NeitherwillI,"shereplied."Imightgetalittleroundereventually,andhaveafewgrayhairs."
"That'sokay,"hesaidpleasantly."Imightdothatmyself."Hepulledhercloser."Fay,I'llneverbea
richman.ButI'llloveyou,andtakecareofyouwhenyouneedit.Ifwehavenothingelse,we'llhave
eachother."
Shehadtofighttearsatthetendernessinhisdeepvoice.Shekissedhimandthenreachedupand
lockedherarmsgentlyaroundhisneck."Ihaven'tsaidit,"shewhispered.
"Yousaiditthenightyougaveyourselftomecompletely,"hereplied,surprised."Don'tyou
remember?Yousaiditoverandoveragainwhileyouweretremblinginmyarmsatthelast."
"Imusthavebeenhalfoutofmymind.Lovingyoudoesthattome,"shewhisperedwithherheartin
hereyes.
"Andtome,"hereplied.Hebent,fusinghermouthwithhisinaslow,sweetexpressionoflove.
"UncleDon!"camealoudvoicefrombelowthewindow.
Donavangroaned."Whatnow?"
Heopenedthewindowandlookeddown.JeffwaswaitingwithtwoofDonavan'sforeman'ssons,
bothofwhomwerecarryingfishingpolesandtackleboxes.
"Please?"hepleadedwithhisuncle."Ihaven'tgottentogofishingsincethelasttimeyoutookme.I'll
bringhomesupper,honest,,canI?"
"Goahead,"Donavanchuckled."Butyou'dbetterbringhomesupper."
"We'llmakesurehedoes,sir!"oneoftheolderboyscalled."Evenifwehavetoswimunderhisline
andhookthefishonitourselves."
"Thanks!"Jefflaughed.
Theboyswereoutofsightinnotime.Donavanclosedthewindowandtookthephoneoffthehook.
Hemovedtowardherwithawickedsmile.
"Sometimes,"hetoldabreathlesslyexcitedFayashebegantocaressheroutofherclothing,"fate
canbekind."
AsentimentthatFaywouldgladlyhaveechoed,exceptthatDonavan'smouthwashardoverherown,
andsecondslater,shewasinnoconditiontothinkatall....
Thenextmorning,FaywashardatworkwhenDonavanshowedupunexpectedlyatthefeedlot.
Calhoun,justcomingoutofhisoffice,grimaced.
"Noneedtorush,findingexcusestogetoutoftheofficerightaway,"Donavandrawled."I'm
reformed.Ididn'tcometocomplain.Iactuallydroppedbytoseeaboutmovinginsomemorecattle."
Calhoun'seyebrowswentup."Youdon'tsay!"
"Ijustdid.WhileI'maboutit,Imightaddawordofthanksaboutkeepingmywifeon,"headded
ruefully."Wefigureherinheritancefromhergreat-auntwilljustaboutputonekidthroughcollege.
Sinceweplanonmorethanournephewtakingupresidence,everypennyisgoingtocount."
"WelikethejobFaydoes.Butit'stoughluck,"Calhounventured,"abouttheinheritance."
Donavansmiledlazily."Notinmybook.Iliketheideaofworkingtowardsomething."Heglancedat
Faywithhisheartinhiseyes."Strugglingtogetherbringstwopeopleclose."
"Indeeditdoes,"Fayagreedwithasigh.
"Ifyou'dliketotakeyourwifetolunch,wemightbeabletoletheroffalittleearly,"Calhounsaid.
"Iwashopingyou'dsaythat,"Donavansaidandgrinned.
HetookFaytothelocalhamburgerjointandtheyatecheeseburgersanddrankmilkshakesuntilthey
wereprettywellstuffed.
"Youwon'thaveaneasylifewithme,"hesaidwhentheywereoutsideagain.Hepaused,catchingher
handinhistostopandlookdownather."You'llprobablyalwayshavetowork.Icantakesomeofthe
burdenoffyouathome,becauseIcancookanddodishesandsweep.Butwhenthekidscomealong,
thingscouldgetprettyhectic."
"AmIworried?"sheasked,smiling."AmIcomplaining?I'vegotyou.Idon'tneedpromises,
assurances,oranythingelse.I'mhappierthanIeverdreamedofbeing."
"Areyousure?"heasked,andlookedworried."You'vealwayshadeverythingyouwanted."
"Istilldo."
"YouknowwhatImean,"hesaidirritably.
"Yes.Moneywasnice,butitwasn'tparticularlyeasytocuddleupto.Idon'tmindlivinglikeordinary
workingpeople.Infact,"shesaidhonestly,"Ireallylikethechallenge.It'snicetofeelindependent,
andtoknowthatyou'reearningwhatyouhave.Ineverhadtoearnanythingbefore."
"You'regivingmealottoliveupto,honey,"hesaidquietly."IhopeIwon'tletyoudown.I'mnotthe
easiestmantolivewith."
"Yes,youare,"shereplied.Sheputherarmsaroundhimandpressedclose."AslongasI'mholding
you,you'retheeasiestmanintheworldtogetalongwith.SosupposeIjustneverletgo?"
Helaughedandletouthisbreathinalong,contentedsighashepulledhercloseandreturnedthe
gentleembrace."I'lltellyousomething,sweetheart,"hemurmuredcontentedly."Thatsuitsmejust
fine!"
Andsheneverdid.
TableofContents
ABOUTTHEAUTHOR
Donovan(12-1991)SR
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen