Storyid: 5202133
FanFiction.net
Name: What I Failed to Realize
Author: Beautiful Figment
Chapter 1 to 17

“What I Failed to Realize” by Beautiful Figment is a sweet story about Jasper
discovering something in himself he had failed to realize existed-his attraction to his
friend and roommate, Edward.

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Chapter: 1


A/N – SM owns Twilight. I own absolutely nothing. Seriously I don’t have shit.

I’m probably gonna keep this story all in JPOV. Will give me an excuse to make EPOV its
own story. Why? Cuz I wanna. No, I don’t know how long I’m gonna make it. No, the
Jasper and Edward in this story aren’t anything like the Angelic Anomaly or the Beautiful
Asshole in LTW. No, I don’t have specific plans for this story. Totally winging it. Caffeine
helps a little. Last but not least, I will update as often as possible, but schedules don’t exist
for me. I have two small children who have caused me considerable brain damage and
there are just some things I do not have any control over.

So, on with the fic……

Christ, I can’t get this song out of my head. What’s even worse is I can’t, for the life of me, think
of the name of it. The melody just keeps spinning circles in my mind, driving me up the fucking
wall. The movie I’m watching isn’t even helping to drown it out. The fact that I’ve resorted to
humming the damned melody isn’t helping matters either.

I’m sitting in the basement watching Primal Fear. I’ve watched it eleventy hundred times
because it’s fucking epic. Now I’m watching it for educational purposes. We’re delving into
mental disorders in class right now and we have to present a case study on our chosen disorder.
Mine is Multiple Personality Disorder. My case study is Aaron. It doesn’t matter that he’s faking
– he’s nailed every aspect that makes this disorder fascinating to me.

Still, I can’t concentrate on the film for the fucking song that is looping through my skull.

I share this big ass house with my brother, Emmett and two of our mutual friends who we’ve
known since preschool, Edward Masen and Jacob Black. Emmett is at the gym, that fucking
meathead. Edward is God knows where – most likely squirreled away in his room with the latest
hottie he managed to dazzle in class. Jacob is in the basement with me. Throwing darts.

I don’t know why he keeps it up. His aim is impeccable. We all stopped playing against him
when we realized he could nail the bull’s eye from across the room – blindfolded. Fucking
showoff.

I resume my humming, certain that as soon as I remember the name of the fricken song, it will be
out of my head.

“What the fuck is it?” I mutter.

Thunk!

I hold my breath and hesitate before turning my head to look at the dart that is lodged in the wall
not half an inch from my ear.

“What the hell, Jake?”

The target is situated on the opposite wall, nowhere near the couch.

“That humming was getting on my nerves,” he responds, before resuming his assault on the felt
target.

“Shit. You could have just said something instead of trying to impale me. By the way – you
missed.”

He chuckles. “I wasn’t talking about your humming. And I didn’t miss.”

Huh?

Jacob walks back to the wall where the dart juts out from the dark wood paneling and he yanks it
out before showing it to me.

The remains of a housefly speckle the metal point.

Fuck. He caught a housefly. With a dart.

“I’m impressed, Jake.” Seriously. That’s fucking talent right there.

“Sure, sure.” He cleans the dart off with his shirt and throws it over his shoulder at the target,
keeping his eyes on me. He’s grinning like a jackass.

I know I should be used to this, but my eyes nearly fall out of my head, because sure enough -
bull’s eye.

“I am the fucking man. You can admit it, Jazz.”

“Yes, you are the fucking man because you can throw sharp objects at the wall. Good for you,
Jake.” He scared the shit out of me when he hit that fly. I’m still a little pissed for that.

He scoffs and walks over to the target to retrieve his weapons.

“The song’s by Muse by the way.”

“Excuse me?” What the hell is he talking about now?

“Supermassive Black Hole. The song you’re humming.”

Aha!

I chuckle. “Thanks, Jake. I needed that.”

“You’re welcome. Now kindly shut the hell up. You’re fucking with my concentration.”

And mine’s gone. I’m gonna finish the movie later. Time for a nap, because…well, just because.

I head upstairs to the kitchen and throw back a glass of iced tea. After refilling the glass, I toss in
a few lemon slices before making my way up to the second floor to my bedroom.

Climbing up the stairs to the second story, I hear laughter coming from Edward’s room. It’s
Edward and he’s chuckling and snorting with abandon.

“Stop! Stop it! You’re fucking killing me!”

I can’t help but snicker. Bella’s back. I knew he couldn’t stay away from her for too long and
she’s the only one I’ve known to make him laugh like that.

“Well, hey. Now you don’t have to stop that.” His chuckle drags out into a hum.

Now this just got interesting in a hurry.

I tiptoe up to his doorway. My intentions are to listen until he’s about to lose it and then poke my
head in and scare the crap out of both of them. Finally, I’ll be able to get back at him for pulling
a similar stunt with Alice and me.

Alice had been in Washington for a week visiting her parents and by the time she returned home
I had been going through some serious withdrawal. As a result, we wasted no time getting in my
bedroom and yanking off all our clothes for some frantic fucking. No foreplay, no sweet talking,
just grunts, groans, and skin slapping skin. I had Alice on all fours while I stood at the foot of the
bed, speeding towards what was sure to be a tremendous orgasm when I heard a shrill whistle
behind me.

“Hoooowee! Get her, John Wayne! Show her how the cow ate the cabbage!” Edward ducked out

of the room cackling just as I sent a throw-pillow careening towards his head.

That fucker.

Payback time. I quickly decide that instead of popping in and shouting “boo” or something
similarly lametastic, that it would be even sweeter if I dump my iced tea on that messy bed-head
of his. He hates tea of any kind. He refers to it as “rancid piss”.

Captain Cock-Block has some justice to dole out.

I hear some mumbled curses and words of encouragement from Edward. For the most part, all I
can hear are his hums of satisfaction.

Checking my watch, I see that I’ve been standing here for over five minutes, and he didn’t even
sound close. Edward frequently bragged on Bella’s fellatic skills and how she wasted no time in
sucking him into oblivion. The fact that he sounded like he was barely warmed up meant one of
three things: One – Edward exaggerated. Two – Bella was drawing things out for the fun of it.
Three – Bella’s losing her touch.

I begin to give up on the Adventures of Captain Cock-Block because I’m not going to wait all
day for this to reach its peak when I could be taking a perfectly good nap right now. And I am
not about to waste my tea on Edward unless he’s as close to the brink as I was with Alice. It
wouldn’t be nearly as much fun that way.

“Mmmm…there you go. Just like that,” Edward purrs.

I now hear muffled slurps and wet suction. It sounds like Bella’s under a blanket, which is quite
a shame because I absolutely love an audible, sloppy blowjob. The faint sounds drifting to my
ears are beginning to make me hard.

I look down at the bulge in my jeans and decide that when I finally get to my bedroom, my nap is
going to get put off for just a little bit.

Suddenly I hear Edward growl. “Fuck! Ung – don’t stop!” He starts breathing heavily through
his nose.

I cover my mouth to conceal the snicker threatening to bubble forth as I prepare to pounce in and
douse him.

“Whoa, whoa whoa. Slow down a bit, babe. No, don’t stop. Just slow down. There you go.”

What the hell? Come on, Edward! Captain Cock-Block has shit to do! I have a dick to yank and a
nap to take. Let’s get this show on the road!

“I smell that rancid piss you call a beverage, John Wayne. Get your ass in here,” Edward calls
out.

Fuck! Fuckin’ shit!

Oh, and did I mention that he has called me John Wayne ever since he walked in on us? Cock-
blockin’ fucktard.

I clear my throat, adjust the front of my jeans, and finally appear in the doorway. Leaning back
against the doorframe, I take a sip of my iced tea.

“I totally planned on pouring it on your head, Masen. I’m still pissed at you.”

The man has absolutely no shame, nor does Bella. He’s sitting in his bed with his back against
the wall and he’s not wearing a shirt. Bella remains under the comforter, hidden from sight.
What’s not hidden, however, is the fact that she is still very obviously bobbing her head up and
down in Edward’s lap. See? No shame.

Edward chuckles and his eyes roll back in his head.

“Fu-huck!” He bites his lip and squirms where he sits.

Shaking his head he finally says, “Jasper. Seriously. That was a fricken month ago. Certainly
Alice isn’t still carrying a grudge, and if she is that means you’re not doing your job very well.”

The juicy, wet sounds of an epic blowjob in progress start to drift into my ears once more. The
sounds are now amplified by my proximity and I now have to adjust my jeans again.

I clear my throat. “Well, on that note,” I say before I start to turn around.

My movement catches Edward’s eye and he glances at what is now an embarrassing bulge in my
pants. Thank you, Bella. Now Edward knows what I’m planning to do once I get back to my
bedroom.

A half grin appears on Edward’s face just before he bites his lip. Closing his eyes he says, “Wo-
ho-ho. Watch the teeth, baby.”

Rolling my eyes, I turn towards the door again before Edward speaks.

“So, you gonna ask Alice to come over and help you with your problem?” he asks, glancing at
my pants again.

“Might…might not,” I take another sip of my drink and head for the door.

“Well, if it’s……good God...if you’re leaning towards ‘might not’, you’re welcome to join us.”

I stop dead in my tracks. Hello. I am now totally considering my options. Prepare for my nap and
take care of things myself, call Alice and beg her to get her little ass over here, or hmmm…Bella.

Now there’s a thought. And she’s still going to town and didn’t even object to Edward’s
suggestion.

I know what you’re thinking. Alice and I aren’t exclusive. We’re both free to see other people
and she exercises that freedom frequently. I’m just happy having someone willing to scratch the
itch when I get one. She’s phenomenal in bed but annoys the shit out of me otherwise; we
wouldn’t last five minutes outside of the bedroom together.

So…Bella. A fucking peach if there ever was one. She has long, thick, mahogany hair, chocolate
brown eyes, the perkiest breasts, and legs for days. Hell yes, I’d tap that.

“Hmmm. Well, Edward, you might wanna get permission from your bashful partner there, first.”

Edward chuckles, squeezes his eyes shut, and bites his lip. “One step ahead of you. Permission
already granted.”

He was planning this? Hell, this will be very interesting, indeed.

Edward sneaks a peek under the comforter and says, “Why don’t you come out and say, ‘hello’
to Jasper?”

Edward draws the comforter back.

“Hello, Jasper.”

I suddenly choke on my iced tea and dart out the door. I’m flying down the stairs before I even
realize my brain issued the order to my legs.

That is definitely not Bella.

A/N: Oh, snap! Who’s hiding under the blankie? Reviews give me the warm fuzzies and
make me squeal hard.

Side note#1: Primal Fear is fucking epic…I own a lowly VHS copy of the movie, but that’s
it. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. Edward Norton (mmm…Edward…) is a genius.

Side note#2: Yes, I was totally head-farming on Supermassive Black Hole. Song’s been in
my head for three fricken days.

Side note#3: Don’t you love how Jasper likes a little lemon in his life? *swoon*

ANYWHO – Review! Pimp me! Please? :D


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Chapter: 2


A/N SM owns Twilight and everything related to Twilight. I just enjoy twisting her
characters and messing with their heads.

Thanks to everyone that was kind enough to bless me with reviews! I squealed like fucking
crazy with all the love that flooded my inbox.

I was tickled with some of the guesses I received for who was hiding under the covers. And
for that matter, I realized I didn’t specify strongly enough that Emmett and Jasper are
brothers…*ahem* So shame on those of you who guessed Emmett! Haha. Seriously, I can
see how that was overlooked, so no biggie.

Also, I apologize that I didn’t get this up when I said I would (technically…I’m only about
4 hours late…lol). I got distracted this evening when my hubby held me down and made me
watch Pineapple Express. Two words: James Franco. Again, I’m sorry. I can has
forgiveness?:D

Last but not least, I promised my Number 1 Warm and Fuzzy Producer (I currently have
two on staff…wanna apply? Inquire within;)) that I may reveal a “surprise” in this chapter
that will make things interesting in some future chapters. So, heads up to my new favorite
redhead: Surprise!:D

**********

Edward sneaks a peek under the comforter and says, “Why don’t you come out and say, ‘hello’
to Jasper?”

Edward draws the comforter back.

“Hello, Jasper.”

I suddenly choke on my iced tea and dart out the door. I’m flying down the stairs before I even
realize my brain issued the order to my legs.

That is definitely not Bella

**********

Oh. My. Word. What the hell was that?

And I almost…holy hell. I can only imagine what’s going through their heads right now.

After downing the rest of my iced tea and setting the glass on the counter, I scrub my face with
my hands. Without even thinking, I remove an extra thick lemon slice from the glass and suck on
it. Hard.

Now I hear the thunderous footfalls of Jacob hauling ass up the basement stairs.

“Dude…did you fall down the stairs? I thought I was gonna come up here to find that you broke
your neck.”

I shake my head violently, still sucking on the lemon.

Jacob clears his throat. “Um, Jazz. Are you sucking on a lemon?”

I’m sure my contorted facial features already answered his question but I nod my head and
answer anyway. “Sometimes a lemon is necessary.”

Okay, so that sounded better in my head, but right now I’m just trying to regain my senses. And I
was kinda hoping the lemon would have a brain bleach effect. No such luck.

He raises an eyebrow in response.

I hear the sound of bare feet tentatively padding down the staircase and I don’t even look up
because I already know who it is.

Jacob chooses this time to start rummaging through the fridge for something to stuff his face
with. He settles on some leftover pizza from God knows when and hops up on the counter,
casually nodding to the third party who has now joined us in the kitchen.

“I have a feeling you didn’t expect to see me, Jasper.”

Understatement of the century.

“Sure didn’t.” I still haven’t looked up. I just stand there staring at my shoes with the mangled
remains of my lemon in my hand.

Jacob is already working on pizza slice number two. “Wutter you doon hurr, Mocky?”* he asks
while attempting to process the cold pizza in his mouth.

Mike fuckin’ Newton. Newton and Edward. What. The. Hell.

“I was just visiting with Edward,” Mike responds with a smile.

“Oh.” Jacob nods and continues to demolish his pizza.

Jesus, Jake. If only you knew what I just walked in on.

My shock over what just took place was compounded by multiple factors. First of all, I was so
sure that Bella was back and it was her that had Edward twisted into a knot. She and Edward
have been together on and off for the last few years. When they were on, they were like giddy
children and fucking like God damned jack rabbits. When they were off Edward always made it
clear that he played the field and played it well. Second of all, even if it wasn’t Bella with her
head in Edward’s lap, I certainly never would have thought it would have been a dude. I mean,
what the hell? So now he’s gay? Third of all, that it was Mike Fucking Newton giving my best
friend a blowjob just blew my fricken mind.

The fact that Mike is gay wasn’t a surprise to me. I already knew he was because, for the past
two semesters he’s blatantly made it quite clear that he was into me. He was also very reluctant
to take, “no” for an answer.

Really, I don’t seriously dislike Mike. He’s a bit of an annoying goober and an attention whore,
but he’s really a decent guy. And I certainly don’t hold his sexual preferences against him; I just
don’t share those preferences, much to his dismay. For that matter, it truly doesn’t bother me that
he’s attracted to me. The fact that he pesters me frequently to give him a shot (and I’m putting
that nicely – he is a bit more specific about what he really wants me to give him) is what bugs
me to no end. Some people just don’t know when to quit.

My problem with Mike grew even bigger when Alice let it slip that she talked me into getting my
tongue pierced while we were in Mexico for Spring Break. I didn’t think it was that big a deal at
the time; I thought it was pretty fucking cool. That all changed when Alice had to open her
mouth in front of Mike which resulted in Mike asking me to marry him. Now he practically
salivates every time he sees me.

I shudder to think about what was going through Mike’s head when Edward proposed a fucking
threesome with him. Obviously this was thought out because after I suggested that he discuss the
possibility with the - at the time - unknown party he advised me that they were already on board.
Why the hell did Edward think I would go along with that?

And what the fuck made Edward lose interest in chicks?

Just then I hear Edward bounding down the stairs. Shit. Here we go.

He’s acting like nothing fricken happened.

“Hey, Jake,” he says before grabbing a beer from the fridge.

Turning to face the three of us in the kitchen he asks, “Anyone else want one while I’m in here?”
He then turns to me. “One can’t live on rancid piss alone, Jazz.”

I finally look up and flip him off.

This earns a snort of laughter from Edward and causes Mike to smirk.

“I’m good. I have to get going anyway. Got a project to work on for Psych. How’s yours coming,
Jazz?” Mike asks.

And now he wants to make polite conversation.

“It’s getting there. Reviewing a film for my case study at the moment,” I respond, trying to be
equally nonchalant.

Jake has finally concluded his massacre of the leftover pizza. “Well, I don’t have a project to
work on. I do, however, have a sweet little thang from my Chem class that is just dying to see
my new Yamaha. No time like the present to offer her a ride,” he says wagging his eyebrows.

“Chem class. You talking about that gal with the hippie name?” I ask.

“Renesmee. Hooo…that girl is something else,” Edward adds.

“Dude, don’t even tell me…” Jacob begins before Edward cuts him off.

“No, no, no. Never had the chance. Besides, I have it on good authority that she may want to ride
more than just your Yamaha,” Edward says with a wink.

“Well in that case, I believe I have somewhere else to be,” Jacob says, jumping off the counter
and wiping his hands off on the front of his jeans.

The next sound that registers with me is that of Jacob cranking up his bike. Apparently, I’m in a
daze because I haven’t even registered the fact that he left the room. What does register is the
fact that I’m now alone with Edward and Mike.

Fucking great.

However, now that Jacob’s gone, I don’t have to worry about giving away any information that’s
not truly mine to divulge. It’s time to clear the air and hopefully put all this shit behind us.

Shit. I’m gonna need an entire bottle of Captain and a whole lotta Alice to put this shit behind
me; I can see that right now.

Mike is the first to speak. “Jasper, are we cool, man?”

I take a deep breath and release it before I answer. “Mike, I had no idea that you and Edward had
a thing going on…” and then he cuts me off.

“Jasper, it’s not really a…” Mike starts.

“Let me finish, please. Whatever y’all have, it really doesn’t matter to me. I’m cool with it,
seriously.” I stop for a moment and look at Edward so he knows this is directed at him, too. He’s
my fucking best friend. I don’t want something like a completely shit-brained misunderstanding

to mess things up between us. “But, Mike, I want you to really hear what I’m saying to you.
Your come-ons and overzealous flirtations have got to stop. I. Am. Not. Interested. If you didn’t
get that before, please get that now. If what happened upstairs caused you to get your hopes up
for a brief moment that I finally came around, I’m sorry. I was considering it only because I
honestly believed there was a girl involved. I’m not into guys, period. Okay? Please tell me you
understand that.”

Edward clears his throat and Mike and I both look at him.

“Mike, I didn’t realize you were into Jasper. I really wouldn’t have put you in that position if I
knew that,” he explains.

Mike laughs. “Edward, really you can put me in any position you’d like.”

I can’t help but groan and roll my eyes at that comment.

He then turns towards me and completely rakes his eyes over my body. “Jasper just has that little
something…extra that just gets to me,” he says with a wink.

Fuck. This is not the time for him to be making a joke about my tongue ring. Please, not right
now. Unless Alice went bragging to everyone in the house about it, the only people besides her
and I that know what I got in Mexico would be her girlfriends and Mike. I can see things will be
completely awkward if this particular information is shared with Edward right now.

“Well, I’m gonna head outta here.” Thank God. “See you two in class on Monday.” He pecks
Edward on the cheek and raises two fingers to his forehead in a salute to me. He then pulls on a
pair of ratty brown flip-flops and lets himself out.

We both tell him goodbye and now we’re alone.

Edward finally pops the top off his beer and proceeds to take a long pull from the bottle.

“So,” Edwards says after he swallows.

“So,” I echo. Now what?

For a few seconds the ticking of the clock above the sink is the only sound in the room.

“For what it’s worth, Edward, I really thought Bella was in bed with you.”

He chuckles. “Now if that were the case, we wouldn’t have had time for me to ask you to join us.
She knows what gets me going a whole hell of a lot better than Mike does.”

“About that, Edward…Bella’s also a chick.”

Cue theatrical dorkus maximus Edward. He clutches his chest and his face contorts into an image

of sheer horror. “No fucking way, man! Are you serious?”

I just raise my eyebrow at him, wishing he could be serious for one fucking moment so we can
have a halfway mature conversation for once.

“I am well aware that Bella’s a chick. I also became aware several years ago that being bisexual
doubles my options,” he explains and takes another swig from his beer.

Did he just say he’s been bisexual for several years?

“Several years, Edward?” Just making sure I heard him right.

“Five, actually.”

I’m dumbfounded and can’t manage to do anything for a moment but shake my head in disbelief.
“I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused. This is news to me.”

Right then, Emmett comes through the front door bellowing, “Daddy’s home!”

Great. We’ll have to finish this conversation some other time now.

He saunters into the kitchen sweating and smelling like a dead fucking armadillo.

“Masen, what kind of establishment do you think we’re running here where you can just run
around the house half dressed?” he asks before grabbing a liter bottle of Powerade from the
fridge and guzzling half its contents.

It was then that I realized that Edward was leaning against the counter opposite of me wearing
only a pair of blood red boxers. Not that it matters.

I guess it doesn’t matter. Does it? No. It most certainly does not matter.

Edward swallows the rest of his beer and after tossing the empty in the trash he frowns and
furrows his brow.

Finally he looks up at me. “You honestly didn’t know?”

Is he kidding me? Did he think I was faking my surprise? And did he really wanna have this
conversation in front of my brother?

“Like I said, Edward, ‘news to me.’”

Emmett’s curious now. “Didn’t know what?”

Still looking at me, Edward replies, “That I’m bi.”

Wow. Okay. Wait. Does that mean Emmett knows?

Making me feeling like an even bigger dipshit, Emmett turns to me with an eyebrow raised.
“You’re shittin’ me, right, Jazz? You didn’t know that? I mean, Christ, the first person he ever
had the hots for was a guy,” he says with a chuckle.

“Fuck, Emmett,” Edward scoffs before stalking out of the room.

Now he’s bashful? Make that two bottles of Captain. One to understand shit, the other to forget
shit.

“So, I guess I’m the only one in the dark then?” I ask.

Emmett’s eyes are trained on the kitchen doorway that Edward just vacated.

“Well, apparently there are just a few things you failed to realize.

**********

*I totally tried that line with a mouthful of pizza. And that, my friends is pizza speak for
“What are you doing here, Mikey?”

A/N Yeah, so no cliffies or half-assed smexin’ this time. The boys just had some ‘splaining
to do. Yes, sometimes a lemon is necessary (right, Jasper?) but at this point it would be
gratuitous. I guess that wouldn’t be too bad though… *shakes head* No, must have a story
line…will not be responsible for poor written porno action for the sake of….shit…Adult
ADD acting up…sorry.

Please review! Pimp me out to your friends! Don’t make me beg…:(


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Chapter: 3


A/N SM owns Twilight and all related characters. I own nothing but the mind that sees fit
to make them do things she never intended.

Oh, and sorry for the delay in updating…this is why I don’t like the idea of setting
deadlines for myself. The sonic boom created as they fly by is down-right deafening.

**********

“So, I guess I’m the only one in the dark then?” I ask.

Emmett’s eyes were trained on the kitchen doorway that Edward just vacated. “Well, apparently
there are just a few things you failed to realize.”

**********

Well, ain’t this some shit?

“So, how long have you been aware that he’s also into guys?” A few things I failed to realize
indeed.

Emmett chuckles but doesn’t say anything.

“You think this shit is funny, Emmett? I’m serious. I feel like such an asshat that I didn’t know
my best friend as well as I thought I did.”

“Really, Jasper, what’s the big deal? I mean, it’s not like you just found out he’s into drugs or
something shitty like that.” He pauses briefly before continuing. “So, what did he say? How did
this conversation come about?” he asks.

I shake my head and wonder if I should really tell him. At this point, I really don’t know how
much information is too much. “It wasn’t anything he said.” That’s safe enough.

“Oh. Okay, so what did happen?”

“It really doesn’t matter, Emmett.” As well it shouldn’t. Yes, I’m shocked, but what kind of
friend would that make me if I dwell on something as inconsequential as his sexual orientation?

“I really should go talk to Edward. I don’t want him to think that this newfound knowledge is
gonna throw a wrench in our friendship.” I pause before looking back up at my brother. “Oh, and
Emmett?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re gonna take a shower, right? Because your scent could send sewer rats running for
cover,” I tell him, holding my nose for effect.

“Actually, I was thinking about rolling around in your bed and stuffing my boxers in your
pillowcase. Should keep you from snoring,” he says with a grin.

“Jackass.” I follow the witty comeback with a punch to his shoulder. Of course, he doesn’t feel it
because he’s fucking huge. I’m no slouch in the muscles department but if Emmett didn’t throw
his knee out in high school, he would have made a hell of a linebacker for some lucky team in
the NFL.

Just then I hear soft, flowing notes being coaxed out of the baby grand piano in the den.

“Uh-oh. He’s brooding,” Emmett observes.

Edward’s played piano as long as I’ve known him. Lately, though it seems that he only plays
when he’s upset. The last few months, he’s played a lot. Usually losing himself in his music
brings him back from whatever ledge he happened to be standing on at that point; it’s a kind of
therapy for him. I’m glad that he has that, but I’m certainly not glad for the fact that his therapy
sessions have been picking up in their frequency as of late.

He was in such a jovial mood earlier up in his room. Of course, it’s hard not to be jovial when
you’re getting head, but that’s beside the point. My running from his bedroom like a bat of out
hell and then giving Mike Newton a what-for in the kitchen probably made Edward think that I
felt different about him now because of who he is attracted to.

Lord knows I could have handled that all better. Instead of acting like a twelve-year-old who
caught his parents doing the nasty in the middle of the night, I could have simply said, “You
know what? On second thought, I think I’ll pass.” End of story. I didn’t have to explain myself to
Newton. He already knows and will still, most likely, ignore everything I told him today. He
wants what he wants, and too bad if you don’t want the same thing.

Edward, though probably now believes that, because of my actions, that I’m some sort of
homophobe and that things between him and I are going to be awkward. I can’t say with any
conviction that the latter of those two things certainly won’t be the case because of the fact that
he automatically assumed that I would be interested in an all-guy threesome.

That could only mean one of two things: One – the joke was on me and he knew I was going to
act like a dumbass about it. I can see it now…

“You should have seen the look on your face, John Wayne! Fucking priceless!”

That would have resulted in me throwing something at his head and all of us having a good
laugh. Then we would have had our little heart-to-heart.

“Jasper, this may come as unexpected but I wanted you to know that I’m bisexual. We’re cool
right?” he would have asked.

“Absofuckinglutely, we’re cool,” I would reply.

Instead, I followed my Flight of the Cowboy with a mini lecture at Newton’s expense. That
would certainly put a damper on a joke.

Two – he was the one interested in me taking part of an all-guy threesome that included him. If
that were the case, that would mean that he was into me.

Holy shit. That couldn’t be it, could it? I’m dense but I’m not that fucking dense. I can usually

pick up on the signals when someone is attracted me. Not everybody has to be as obvious as
Mike.

Emmett did say that there were a few things I failed to realize. That meant that his sexuality was
just one of those few. What else is there? Edward clearly didn’t want Emmett discussing his first
man-crush (or, as it were, his first crush in general) with me. Why didn’t he want me to know?

Jesus, could he be into me? That would definitely make someone upset to be attracted to
someone and not have that person return your affections.

No, no, no. I’m thinking too damned much. My mind is going on overdrive because I just got hit
with a shitload of potent information in a short amount of time.

Christ, the song he’s playing is killing me. Normally he starts playing some random original
piece that happened to be dancing around that brilliant mind of his. This song, however I’ve
heard before. I don’t recognize it as one of his, but I can’t place it.

What the hell is it with me and song titles escaping my grasp today? This is definitely gonna bug
me and I’ll be lying awake at three in the morning struggling with the mystery. However, I can’t
make myself interrupt Edward as his fingers flow across the keys.

The fact that I can’t place the song isn’t what’s killing me. The song itself is practically ripping
my heart out. I know I’ve heard it before and I know it’s not as sweet as it sounds. It’s a sort of
lullaby but it doesn’t sound quite right. It’s possible that I just haven’t heard it on piano before.

Give it up, Jasper. Just wait for him to finish and see if he wants to talk for Christ’s sake.

Standing behind him, I’m careful not to alert him to my presence and thereby causing him to
stop.

I then feel my cell phone vibrate in my jeans pocket indicating I have received a text.

Hey, baby. I’m lonely. Care for some company?

Ahhh, Alice. My little hummingbird. Most people refer to her as a pixie. She’s so tiny and petite,
has short, spiked-out black hair and a lilting voice. She reminds me of a hummingbird, though.
That is, if hummingbirds got their latte’s with a triple shot of espresso. That girl fucking bounces
off the walls. She never walks to her destination; she skips. Everywhere.

But, sweet Jesus, what that woman can do to me.

So needless to say, I can’t ignore her text.

Give me thirty, darlin’. I could definitely use some company.

Shortly after I send the text on its way, my cell buzzes once again.

I’ll be counting down the minutes until I’m in your bed…er…ARMS! lol

I smile at that. Naughty hummingbird.

We have been “seeing” each other (actually, we’ve been more like, kissing, licking, sucking, and
fucking each other) for the past two years. We met the first semester of our freshman year and it
wasn’t long before we found ourselves trying to keep quiet as we ravished each other in the
campus library right before closing time. We quickly realized, though that we were only
compatible in bed.

It doesn’t make much of a difference to me. I’m looking for a relationship and neither is she. We
both feed off of each other when the need strikes, which is often. She sees (and again, I use the
term loosely) other guys and I am completely okay with that. I don’t see other girls, though. Not
because I’m staying faithful to her, but I figure why try and fix something that isn’t broken? I’m
quite happy with our arrangement.

Just then, Edward’s cell starts ringing on the table beside me, just out of Edward’s reach. I’m just
preparing to reply to Alice’s text when he jumps up from the piano bench to grab the phone and
he bowls me over.

We land on the floor with Edward on top of me and I can’t breathe. The wind is knocked
completely out of me and I have what could only be explained as a pinched nerve…somewhere,
I don’t know where…because I feel what could only be described as an electric current that’s
pulsing through my entire body briefly.

Either that, or I inadvertently licked my finger and stuck it in the light socket on my way down.
With the way things were going, that was very probable.

“Holy shit, Jasper. Are you okay?” Edward asks. He still hasn’t moved from his position above
me and he’ bracing himself with his arms on my chest.

“Can’t. Breathe.” The words came out in a wheeze.

He scrambles to get off me and helps me to my feet.

“Expecting an important phone call, Masen?” I ask after finally finding my voice.

“Huh?” Edward asks, flustered. “Oh…oh yeah! My phone was ringing!”

He grabs it off the table as it starts to ring again.

I see his eyes light up like the Vegas strip when he realizes who’s calling him.

“Bella! Hey, baby girl. How the fuck are you?”

He starts to leave the room and I tap him on the shoulder, mouthing the words, “Can we talk?”

He shakes his head and mouths the words, “Later.”

Fine. Whatever. If we were gonna put this off, there’s no reason why Alice had to wait to come
over.

Screw thirty, baby. I’m ready whenever you are.

Not five seconds later, I get a reply.

Here I come! *wink wink*

I have to wait all of ten minutes before I hear the doorbell.

Opening the door I see my little hummingbird clad in a calf-length black trench coat. This can
only mean wonderful things in store for me.

“Has my Jasper been a good little boy?”

Oh, yes ma’am.

**********

A/N A couple days ago, I nearly had a heart attack when I saw I got a review from
AngstGoddess003 for my other fic Louder Than Words. Ms. Wide Awake, herself. I.
Squealed. So. Fucking. Hard.

So, once again……reviews make me oh, so happy. Review! Pimp! I just might throw in a
small yellow fruit in the next chappie (as if the last line of this one didn’t make that obvious
enough?)


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Chapter: 4


A/N Once again, I don’t own Twilight – SM has that privilege. I just see fit to bend her
characters to my twisted will.

Sorry this took so fucking long to get up. Life happens and I also decided at the last
possible minute to submit an entry in the Love Through Lemons contest. If you enjoyed
Louder Than Words, you can get a little extra by checking out my entry called Show Me.

And yes, this is a Jasper and Edward fic…I promise! Jasper just doesn’t know it yet. Give
it time. For those of you who are hardcore slash fans, beware…this chappie contains a
“het” lemon. These won’t last long though….don’t worry;)

Opening the door I see my little hummingbird clad in a calf-length black trench coat. This can
only mean wonderful things in store for me.

“Has my Jasper been a good little boy?”

Oh, yes m’am.

Alice stood in the doorway gently tugging at the tie of her trench coat. I could see that it wasn’t
zippered and the only thing keeping her covered was the tie closure.

I slowly drug my gaze from her sultry smirk down to her dainty toes that peeped out from a pair
of impossibly high-heeled ice blue fuck-me-pumps.

“Jasperrr,” she cooed. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, usually you ask me that before you come to see me,” I replied.

I should explain that. The answer to her question would determine what kind of “outfit” she wore
when she came to visit. If I was a “good boy”, it was something sweet and simple. Something I
could easily remove from her lithe little body and get straight to making her scream six ways
from Sunday. If I was a “bad boy”, she wore something a little more…complicated. Something
along the lines of corsets and garter belts…something with too many fucking buttons or hooks
for me to manage. Not that the visuals aren’t stunning. She would just take advantage of my not-
so-nimble fingers and perform a provocative strip tease, dragging out the delectable torture that
she calls foreplay until I felt that my balls would fall off for need of release.

I wasn’t in the mood to beg. I’m praying she felt that I’ve been a very good boy.

“What do you think, darlin’?” I asked, biting my bottom lip.

She glanced behind me. “Who’s home?”

“Emmett and Edward. Emmett’s upstairs in the shower and Edward’s upstairs talking on the
phone with Bella. Don’t think anyone’s coming downstairs anytime soon.”

She didn’t really care who was home. She was more concerned with the last part of my answer.

“Good,” and with that she undoes the tie of her trench coat and lets it fall to the welcome mat.

Apparently I have been a very good boy.

She is wearing the hottest little cami and panty…thingy. I don’t know what the hell it’s supposed
to be called, but fuck. It’s in the same shade of ice blue as the fuck-me pumps she’s wearing. The
top has satin ribbons that tie at the shoulder and there are little ruffles and bows…everywhere, I
realize as she turns around and wiggles her ass for me. Yes, there are ruffles on her ass. Praise
Victoria or Fredrick or whoever the hell it was that dreamed this wispy shit up!

That outfit is gonna look even better on the floor, I just know it.

She closed the distance between us and even though her heels added several inches to her height,
she still had to stand on tiptoe to reach up for a little kiss. Being the southern gentleman that I
am, I saw to it that she didn’t have to strain herself to reach my height. I reached down and
grabbed two handfuls of that delectable ass and hoisted her up so her legs could wrap around me.

Her hands find their way into my hair and she seals my mouth with hers, not wasting any time
before plunging her tongue inside.

I try to slam the door shut, but for some reason it won’t close. I break away from Alice’s kiss
long enough to see that her trench coat is still in the doorway. Thinking quickly, I reach out with
my foot and kick it into the air to catch it in my hand behind Alice. Wind chimes sound as Alice
giggles at my performance.

Christ, the thing weighs as much as she does.

After shutting the door with my foot, I chunk the trench coat on the hutch by the door and shuffle
towards the basement stairs.

It’s always best to have an entire floor between the two of us and anyone else in the house. The
last time we didn’t take such precautions, we were unceremoniously interrupted. I don’t want
that shit happening again.

Alice has started grinding her hips against my erection and I nearly dump us both down the
stairs.

“Patience, darlin’. This is gonna be hard to continue if we’re both in body casts.”

She answers by dragging her lips down my throat and moaning against my Adam’s apple.

I finally make it down the steps and Alice squeals as I toss her on the couch. She then stretches
her arms across the back of the couch and crosses her legs, wiggling her ass to get deeper into the
cushion while she watches me undress.

I peel my dark gray t-shirt off and drop it on the floor beside me. Alice hisses as she takes in my
now naked torso.

I’m not a muscle-bound gorilla like Emmett, but like I said earlier, I’m no slouch. My pecs are
well defined and I have a six pack that I’m thoroughly proud of. My jeans are slung low on my

hips, my belt not doing a good enough job of keeping them up far enough to cover the waistband
of my boxer briefs. I glance down and I can see the very top of my tattoo peeking out.

I got it the night I graduated high school. It was stupid really, but once Alice discovered I had it,
she went fucking nuts. The title of the design I chose at the tattoo parlor said it was a Gothic
Vampire Bat. I guess if you looked at it the right way, that’s what it was. It was pretty obscure
and abstract though which I found appealing. It was a silhouette of sorts, completely black with
horns on the head of the demon subject. Wings were spread wide and high and it was hard to tell
if they were made of black feathers or flames. The body was a sharp corkscrew of crisscrossed
angles that formed a point right at my thigh.

I slowly undo my belt and I can see Alice start to squirm. As I undo the button of my jeans and
lower the zipper of my fly, I ask her, “What do you want me to do to you, little girl?”

I should mention that she likes to give me instructions. And fuck it all if I ain’t her happy little
lap dog, eager to please.

Her eyelids flutter closed and she bites her bottom lip before she answers.

“I want you to slide my panties off and put that hot little tongue ring to work on my pussy. And I
want you to stroke your cock as you do it.” She started squeezing her thighs together and running
her hands over her breasts. I could see her nipples tighten to hard little peaks beneath the fabric
of her top.

Fuckin-A.

“Yes, ma’am,” I respond as I slide my jeans off and kneel down in front of her.

Alice opens her legs for me and I reach up to tug at the waistband of her ruffled panties. She lifts
her hips to help me draw them off her and I toss them to the floor on top of my discarded jeans.

I lean forward and plant a hungry kiss at the top of her naked, glistening slit.

“Mmmmm…you smell so fucking good, little girl. And you’re already so wet for me,” I groan
against her.

I glance up to see her tugging and pinching her nipples through her top. She’s watching me, her
eyes almost completely closed.

“Jasper,” she gasps.

I drag the flat of my tongue against the entire breadth of her wet heat, separating her folds, and
ending at her clit. I capture the tiny bud between my lips and hum, causing Alice to tremble from
the strength of the vibration. I finally give her what she wants by pressing the stainless steel ball
bearing of my tongue ring against the sensitive nub and she cries out.

“Fucking delicious. My tongue loves your pussy, Alice,” I declare, my words muffled against her
slick skin. Before she can respond I start rapidly tapping the ball bearing against her clit.

Even though she didn’t ask me to, I slip two fingers inside her wet sex and curl them to press
against the spot inside her that was just beneath where my tongue was continuing its relentless
assault on her clit. I rhythmically flick my fingertips in a “come-hither” motion and she starts to
buck her hips against me.

“Fuck, Jasper. Just like that,” she pants. “Are you stroking yourself?” she asked. I hear her
whimper.

Actually, I wasn’t. I was putting it off for at least a few more minutes because I was so aroused
at this point that I would shoot off in no time flat.

To distract her from her question, I purse my lips around her bud and suck it firmly. Alice arches
her back and presses her head into the couch cushion.

Seeing now that she wasn’t gonna last much longer, I reach into my boxer briefs and grip my
straining cock.

I know that it would feel a whole lot better burying myself inside her, but she didn’t ask for that.
And truthfully, at this point, I don’t give a shit where I get the friction to get off; I’m just grateful
to get it.

“Stop teasing me, Jasper. Fuck me with your fingers, baby,” Alice begged.

This is where having extra room between us and the rest of the world comes in handy.

I quickly withdrew my fingers and used the juices from her excited sex to lubricate my erection.
I then bring them back right where she wants them and do exactly as she asks, with a vengeance.

“Oh…God…fuck!” she cried.

I have not ceased my ministrations on her clit and I started to pump my cock with vigor.

In my state, I never heard that someone was coming down the basement stairs. I only realized
that something was up when Alice all of a sudden grew silent.

She dropped her voice to an angry whisper. “Jasper, if you stop what you’re doing I will inflict
serious bodily harm upon you.”

I hesitate for a moment and decide that my safety is more important than any embarrassment
from being caught. She’s not kidding. She is very capable of causing damage if she’s pissed
enough. Robbing her of an orgasm would definitely result in one pissed off hummingbird.

I also rationalize that if Emmett was coming downstairs for something, he wouldn’t be sticking

around for long. Catching your brother eating a girl’s pussy would probably not be something
you’d like to draw out. At least I don’t think it would. That would just be too fucking weird. In
addition, after our awkward afternoon, I couldn’t imagine Edward even trying to make a John
Wayne joke at this point.

I continue to work Alice into what is now a silent frenzy but the hand stroking my cock has
slowed almost to a stop.

I strained to hear who just entered the basement and work on my resolve to not give a shit what
happens if something embarrassing is said or done.

“Bella, let me call you back, sweetie.”

I hear a cell phone snap closed before he speaks again.

“Enjoying yourself, Tinkerbell?” Edward asks Alice, amusement evident in his voice.

I hear Alice giggle above me.

Don’t you do it, don’t you do it!

“I’m about to,” she coos as she grabs a handful of my hair. Apparently I slowed down enough
where she thought I was gonna stop after all.

“I can see that,” he says with a chuckle.

Why wasn’t he fucking leaving?

“Need an extra hand there, honey?” His voice dropped an octave.

He was aroused and he wasn’t leaving.

“Absolutely.”

Fuck me.

A/N Thank y’all so much for the wonderful reviews so far for this fic – I promise to be a
good girl and try not to let this much time go between updates again. I’m as anxious for
Edward and Jasper to get their shit together as much as y’all are – TRUST ME! I’m also
putting on my profile links for some visuals for this chappie: Alice’s trench coat and
lingerie and Jasper’s tattoo. Check it out if ya wanna, ignore it if ya wanna.

Review! Pimp! I’m not beyond begging this time……;)


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Chapter: 5


A/N SM owns Twilight and all related characters. She just doesn’t have a dirty enough
mind for my liking…I’m about to fix that.

Okay…so…where were we?

Why wasn’t he fucking leaving?

“Need an extra hand there, honey?” His voice dropped an octave.

He was aroused and he wasn’t leaving.

“Absolutely.”

Fuck me.

“Alice, what are you doing?” I ask, barely above a whisper.

I still haven’t moved my head from its place in between her thighs.

She answered my question with a less than gentle tug of my hair bringing my gaze to meet hers.
Okay, so hers was more a seething glare than a gaze, but regardless, our eyes were locked.

Really, it’s not her fault, she had no idea what transpired today.

Nothing has ever been out of bounds for us; group sex included. We’re a “don’t knock it till
you’ve tried it” kind of couple. This is different though.

Yes, Edward has been my best friend for as long as I can remember; it shouldn’t be a big deal.
Except that now, it is. Knowing now that Edward was also into guys would make this more than
just a bit awkward for me. To be honest, the idea kinda creeped me out a little.

Edward is already moving and I can’t bring myself to voice my objection. I can feel him standing
directly behind me now, the heat of his body coming off him in waves.

“Jasper,” Edward whispered.

The sound of him whispering my name like that made me suddenly gasp for breath.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

I squeezed my eyes shut before looking at up at Alice. Her response to the unspoken question in
my eyes was a pout.

Fuck me.

I could only manage to barely shake my head, “no”.

Edward comes around to stand beside me, facing Alice. He leans forward and places a hand on
the sofa cushion where her head is currently resting. She looks at him expectantly, sucking her
bottom lip into her mouth. I watch him smile at her as he reverently caresses her cheek with the
hand not supporting his weight against the sofa. Her eyelids flutter closed as he leans in to kiss
her.

Alice doesn’t seem to notice that I have completely stopped what I was doing to watch.

Edward gently kisses her lips and pulls back ever so slightly to take in a shuddering breath. Alice
gasps just before he crushes his lips to hers. Right before they connect, I catch sight of his tongue
darting into her mouth. It has to be some kiss because it elicits a throaty moan from her.

Suddenly, Edward breaks away, causing Alice to whimper.

Before standing up completely, Edward whispers in her ear, just loud enough for me to hear.
“Slide closer to the edge of the sofa for me, Tink.”

I rock back on my heels as Alice does what he asks. Her new position allows Edward to scoot in
behind her so she is seated between his legs with her back to his chest.

I watch Edward slide his hands down her arms in a gentle caress as he begins to kiss and suck the
skin at the crook of her neck. His hands work their way back up to her shoulders and sneak under
her arms to cup her breasts. She mewls at his ministrations and starts to rock her hips back into
his lap. Edward groans into her neck as a result.

“Alice, do you want us to make you come, baby?” Edward asked.

My breath catches in my throat listening to him talk to her.

Alice squeezes her eyes shut, pressing her hips back even harder against him.

Biting her bottom lip, she simply says, “Mmmhmmm.”

What? No instructions?

“Good. Now just relax and let us take care of you,” he croons, nipping at her earlobe.

He looks up at me and flashes a crooked grin before slipping the silk ties of her ruffled top off
her shoulders, pushing the fabric down to expose her breasts.

Now completely exposed, her nipples have tightened into tiny pebbles which Edward wastes no
time in manipulating with the thumb and forefingers of each of his hands. He alternates between
rolling them between his fingers and strumming them with his thumbs. The combination is
apparently driving her mad.

“Uhh…mmm…Edward!” she cries as she bucks her ass against his groin.

He growls into the skin of her shoulder and bites down on her skin causing her to yell his name
again.

Time to show Edward how she can really scream.

I position myself back between her parted thighs and seal my lips around her clit. Her sharp
intake of breath turns into a shout when I begin to nudge the underside of the tiny bud with my
tongue ring. I start out slow but quickly pick up the pace.

When I see the muscles of her thighs begin to quiver, I thrust my fingers inside of her again. My
rhythmic thrusting begins to match the pace of my tongue and I’m rewarded with a squeal,
quickly followed by my name.

“Fuck! Jasper!”

“Mmmmm…sounds like Jasper’s doing a good job,” Edward murmurs into her ear.

She responds by rapidly nodding her head in affirmation.

“I’m willing to bet you’re pretty close to coming on his face, am I right?” he asks before tugging
sharply on her nipples and dragging his tongue up the column of her neck.

“Oh, yes. I’m very close.”

“Describe it to me. What is he doing so well that it makes you scream, honey?”

I look up at her, anxious to see if she would be able to speak English let alone give him any kind
of description. The thought of her singing my praises while I continued to push her towards the
brink, however, is making my dick twitch.

Without thinking I reach into my boxer briefs and begin to absently stroke myself again.

“He’s…uugghhh…fucking my pussy with his fingers. So good, Jasper. God!”

“What else is he doing?” Edward whispers.

“Mmmmm…he’s…fuck! He’s…flicking my clit with his tongue ring.”

Well, shit.

So much for keep that a secret anymore.

I shift my eyes from Alice’s face to Edward’s to gauge his reaction.

His eyes squeeze shut for a fraction of a second before fixing them on me. I expected him to be
at least mildly amused with this little piece of information. I did not expect to see the unbridled
lust in his eyes that shoots right through me.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks. “Did you just say that Jasper has a tongue ring?”

Alice rapidly nods in response.

He turns his head toward her ear, keeping his eyes on me. “How very, very lucky for you.” He
thrusts his hips against her bottom and she cries out.

“Shit, Edward. You’re so fucking hard!” she growls.

Involuntarily, I groan deeply against her and increase the pace of my strokes in my underwear.

Why hearing her say those words has this effect is beyond me. All I know is that I’m not gonna
last much longer.

“Jasper! Ungh…fuck…coming,” she moans.

With one last flick of my tongue ring at her clit, I remove my fingers from inside her and replace
them with my tongue. I feel her inner walls clamp down as I continue to impale her. When she
cries out in release, I eagerly lap at the nectar that practically floods my mouth.

I’m so caught up in the moment that I barely hear Edward speak to her again.

“That’s it, baby girl, let it go.” I flick my eyes up in time to see him kissing her, Alice using the
hand closest to him to tangle in his messy locks. She finally draws back and works on catching
her breath.

Edward groans against her ear. “I bet you taste so fucking sweet when you come.”

She very visibly shivers at his words before giving him an absolutely wicked smile. “You want a
taste?”

Edward chuckles. “I couldn’t do that to you. I’m sure you’re more than a bit sensitive at the
moment.”

“I didn’t mean directly from me,” she responds, casting her eyes down to me.

What?

She fucking winked at me.

You have got to be shitting me.

Then she pouts.

Fine. Edward couldn’t take advantage of her in her sensitive, post-orgasmic state, but I decide in
that moment that she is gonna work for this.

With the fingers I just used to fuck her, I dip them just inside her dripping pussy to gather a bit of
her honey. She whimpers and bucks her hips in response.

I hesitate for just a moment before bringing my fingers up to Edward’s mouth. His eyes darken
slightly as he parts his lips. I gently run my finger tips around the soft, pink skin and I see him
tremble just before he closes his eyes. I gasp as he sucks my fingers into his mouth and slides his
tongue between them. Hearing my reaction, his eyes snap open. He then begins to suck on my
fingers in earnest.

Fuck.

Apparently, I said the word out loud because Alice giggles. A grin meant for the devil consumes
her face as she turns to whisper in Edward’s ear.

“You know, Edward. I’m pretty sure you can still taste me on Jasper’s tongue.”

My heart began to race. At this point I couldn’t tell if it was out of anger at what Alice was
proposing…or actually hoping Edward would test her theory?

Obviously my lust and desperation for release was getting the better of me. At this point, I need
some kind of interaction other than that of the solo variety to get off. Again, my need outweighs
my desire to choose just how I would achieve this.

“Come here, Jasper,” Alice coos.

She grabs my face and pulls me in for a kiss, her tongue slipping between my lips, briefly
dancing with my own.

“Mmmmm…yes. You can still taste it, Edward,” she whispers after pulling back from our kiss.

“Show him, Jasper.”

Hell.

Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, right?

I turn my head slightly to look at Edward. He’s breathing through his nose and I can see his pulse
pounding in the artery on his neck. I’m suddenly consumed with the desire to bite his skin and
suck on that very spot.

What’s wrong with me?

I push that urge aside and decide that if he really wants a taste, of Alice or me – I’m not sure
which at this point, I better do this quickly before I lose my nerve.

I close my eyes and gently press my lips to Edward’s. Suddenly that pinched nerve, finger in the
light socket sensation returns. It jolts my heart and my entire body thrums with its current.

Confused, I whisper Edward’s name.

He answers by grabbing the back of my head and stealing my breath with his kiss. My mouth
opens in surprise and I feel his tongue slip inside.

I hear Alice groan slightly.

She was actually enjoying watching the two of us kiss.

Naughty hummingbird.

I decide that if she’s looking for a show, that I wasn’t gonna disappoint. Of course, right now, I
wasn’t entirely sure if I would be doing this for her or for me.

Of course it was for her. Wasn’t it?

I feel Edward’s hand at the back of my head, grasping a handful of my hair. In response, I tilt my
head and deepen our kiss, groaning into his mouth. I then nudge the underside of his tongue with
my tongue ring and I hear him whimper.

Normally I think before I speak. Right now that’s not possible.

“You like that don’t you, Edward?” I ask him.

“Fuck yes,” he whimpers against my mouth.

“Tell me something. Is it Alice’s flavor that you’re enjoying right now or mine?”

Alice slips from between us and scrambles to the other end of the sofa, giggling.

Wicked fucking hummingbird.

Edward quickly slides to the edge of the sofa, taking Alice’s previous position.

Before I even realize what’s happening, he presses his boxer clad erection against me.

“What do you think?” he growls.

I don’t have time to respond before he grabs my head to kiss me again, causing me to
unconsciously moan into his mouth.

My hands start to move of their own volition as they reach behind him to clasp behind his back,
pulling him closer to me.

Edward whimpers as he pulls back to start kissing down my neck. He rubs his cheek against my
jaw and I shiver from the sensation created by his stubble rasping against my skin.

My fingers dance across the skin of his back and I feel him shudder as he lays a trail of open
mouth kisses on my collarbone. Reflexively my hips buck against his body, seeking friction.

I never even register movement as Edward pushes me onto my back on the basement floor. In an
instant he’s on top of me, holding my hands above my head. We both struggle to take labored
breaths and my brain has now gone into overdrive.

The lust radiating off the two of us is nearly tangible and all I can think about is how my best
friend has me pinned beneath him, looking at me as if I am something to eat.

I’ve never been this turned on before. Ever.

Edward pushes my legs apart with his knee and settles his hips in between my thighs. Pressing
his hips forward he grinds his erection into mine.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I arch my back and cry out through gritted teeth. Edward is still looking at me, his trademark
lopsided grin on his face.

Pressing his lips to my ear, he throws my words back at me in a deep purr. “You like that, don’t
you, Jasper?”

I whimper pitifully in response and strain against the hands that keep me pinned to the floor.

His voice turns to gravel as he continues to purr into my ear. “I’ll take that as a, ‘yes.’”

I’m gone. Fucking gone.

He brings his lips back to mine again and starts to rock his hips, our swollen cocks sliding
against each other. The friction of his movements combined with the tugging of the fabric of my
boxer briefs was hurtling me towards my climax.

The urgent way he kissed me, thrusting his tongue against mine, indicated that he was getting
close as well.

The movements of his hips are becoming more insistent and I start to grind into each of his
thrusts. I can’t hold back the grunts and moans that fall from my lips.

“Jasper, you look so hot under me like this. Your cock feels so fucking good against mine.”

“Uh….Ungh…Edward,” I gasp.

In a husky whisper, he says, “Come for me, love.”

Love?

I don’t have time to think about what he said. My orgasm rips through me and I strain against
Edward and scream.

He leans forward to close his lips on my throat and I feel the vibrations as he cries out against my
skin. His entire body stiffens and he shudders above me.

I start to come down from my high and relax against the floor beneath Edward.

The events of what just transpired start racing through my head at breakneck speed. I wasn’t
really dwelling on the threesome between me, my pseudo girlfriend, and my best friend, though.
My mind kept returning to the fact that I made out with a man, my best friend. He held me down
on the floor and made me come.

It felt good. Damn good.

So why am I crying?

A/N Thanks for all the reviews! I’m also thrilled to fucking pieces whenever I see that
someone has added this to their fave story list…and I won’t even get into what it does to me
to see someone add me as their favorite author. Let’s just say that I get more than just the
warm and fuzzies;)

Review! Pimp me out to your friends! I’ll love you forfuckingever, I swear!:D


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Chapter: 6

A/N SM owns Twilight and all related characters. And I quiver at the thought of what her
reaction would be to see what I’ve done with her boys….

Right about now I want to take a moment or two to thank some wonderful gals who make
me shiver with just how very good they are to me. First of all, I wanna thank laylastar for
pimping me on the House of Cards thread (and by the way…if you haven’t already, you
NEED to check out The Forbidden Room and House of Cards by DefinatelyStaying…these
fics fucking own me…). As if that wasn’t enough, I nearly creamed myself when I saw she
actually started a thread for WIFTR. It doesn’t fucking matter that it’s blatantly naked
right now (nothing wrong with naked, right?;)). However, if some faithful readers wanna
change that, please…be my guest:) So thank you, laylastar for being a fucktastic pimp! I
also wanna thank PolkaDotMama for giving me a sweet shoutout on her profile and
making my rainy day all better by whispering sweet nothings in my ear (okay…so she
PMed me, but I have an active imagination….;)) Last but not least, I wanna give my love to
C-Me-Smile – for writing such a heartbreakingly sweet Edward and Jasper in Begin Again
and for indulging my little dorktacular fangirl moments.

Oh, and this chapter would have been up a couple hours ago, except that DefinatelyStaying
distracted me with Brent Corrigan…it’s all her fault (and she doesn’t even know it!!)

**********

The events of what just transpired start racing through my head at breakneck speed. I wasn’t
really dwelling on the threesome between me, my pseudo girlfriend, and my best friend, though.
My mind kept returning to the fact that I made out with a man, my best friend. He held me down
on the floor and made me come.

It felt good. Damn good.

So why am I crying?

**********

What have I done? What have I done? What have I fucking done?!

My body is wracked with silent sobs as tears spill from my eyes. I feel Edward scramble off of
me. My eyes are squeezed shut, so I have no idea what his reaction looks like. I can’t bring
myself to look at him.

I hear Edward trying to catch his breath and he’s whispering my name like some kind of mantra.
Suddenly his hand is on my cheek and I recoil from his touch.

“Don’t, Edward…just don’t.”

“Jasper,” his voice sounds almost anguished. “I’m…I’m sor…I don’t know what to say. What

can I do, Jasper? Talk to me, please,” he says, barely above a whisper.

“No. I can’t talk to you right now. There is nothing you can do, Edward. And I pray that is
exactly what you do. Nothing,” I declared, standing to my feet and grabbing my jeans. I still
can’t bring myself to look directly at him.

I hear his throat click as he swallows. The only sounds that fill the basement at this point are
shallow breaths from all three of us and the sound of my jeans rustling as I rush to get them on. I
don’t even bother with the fucking shirt and I make a beeline for the stairs.

Fresh tears slide down my face, making me realize I am still fucking crying.

What the hell have I fucking done?

Passing the hutch in the foyer I see Alice’s trench coat. It’s still draped over the piece of
furniture where I tossed it earlier.

Fucking Alice.

I snatch up the heavy leather garment and start to head back for the basement stairs when I
almost slam into her.

Speak of the devil and POOF!

“Jasper, I want to talk with you,” she says with her eyes downcast and her arms crossed over her
chest. She is now wearing the t-shirt I left downstairs and still wearing the asinine fuck-me
pumps. I decide in this moment I have never seen anything so ridiculous.

I wanted to deck her.

“No, Alice. You want to talk at me. What I have to say in response won’t mean shit to you. It
never has. That’s why this fucked up relationship you and I have doesn’t exist outside of the
bedroom. So, kindly, just take your damned coat and leave.”

She lifts her chin in defiance and glares at me.

The self-righteous look she’s giving me makes me want to deck her twice as hard.

“For such a smart man, you are truly fucking stupid, Jasper,” she snaps.

Excuse me?

“First of all, we’re all consenting adults. You were not forced to do a damned thing just now.
And don’t even give me shit that Edward held you down or that I talked you into anything. At
any time, you could have said something to end it. Stop. No. Don’t. Something.”

Fuck you, Alice. I couldn’t think for Christ’s sake!

Did I actually say that? No. Because, apparently, I’m now a giant pussy.

“Don’t you find it a little odd that in the same afternoon that Edward comes out to you he
actually makes a move on you?”

“Wait…how did you know about that?” I ask.

“It doesn’t matter. I know a lot of things, Jasper…now stop interrupting.”

Now I have my arms crossed over my chest. If I don’t make a concerted effort to try and absorb
what she is saying to me, I am in grave danger of following through on my earlier desire to hit
her. Hard.

“Edward is very good at reading people, Jasper. He would never have been that bold had he not
gotten signals from you that it was okay. Whether you want to admit it or not, you were
practically drowning him in signals.”

Now I feel like I’m about to vomit.

“Second of all, Edward cares for you. Very, very much. It would literally kill him if this fucks up
your friendship. You owe it to him to sit down and talk with him like an adult.”

I draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Well, your get-to-know-your-best-friend-a-little-better exercise was a complete fuck-up, Alice.
Especially since you were really just using this to get your rocks off. This was just some fantasy
of yours, nothing else. And now, I’m all…fuck!” Here come fresh waterworks.

Great. Fucking great.

“Jasper, I’m not gonna lie and say that I didn’t enjoy myself. I was essentially killing two birds
with one stone in that respect. My main purpose was to try to get you to test the waters. To show
you what completely eludes you but is so fucking obvious to everyone else.”

“Just what the fuck is that supposed to mean, Alice? Don’t try to tell me that this was just some
altruistic way to get us to realize that deep down he and I have some kind of cosmic love
connection or some shit,” I snarl at her.

“Stop. Interrupting. Me. You need to talk with Edward. If you think you’re messed up now,
imagine what he is going through. Grow a fucking backbone and talk with him, Jasper.”

At that, I throw her trench coat at her, shock registering on her face.

I’m not sure if she heard me when I spoke next.

“Don’t call me again, Alice,” I whisper before heading upstairs to the shower.

I don’t hear her leave the house. Nor do I hear if Edward ever emerged from the basement. All I
can think about at this moment is getting in the shower, and finally taking that fucking nap.

I shed the two remaining articles of clothing I was still wearing and step under the hot, pulsing
spray of the shower head. Before I even register what’s happening, I’m sitting on the floor of the
bathtub with the water pounding my face. And I’m fucking crying again.

“Fuck! FUCK!!” I can’t help but scream at the tile walls surrounding me. I’m reduced to a heap
of child-like sobs. I’m so fucking confused, and right now it seems as though the only thing my
body can do to cope with that confusion is to cry like a God damned baby.

Just then I hear a knock at the door.

You have got to be shitting me.

“Jazz, you okay in there, bro?”

Thank God for small favors. It was Emmett.

“Seriously, dude. No need to cry over it. The sheets will come completely clean in the wash. I’m
fairly certain, actually,” he calls into the bathroom.

I snicker in spite of myself. I can always count on Emmett to at least partially drag me out of a
hole of misery.

“I’m only crying because I’ll have to wait another half hour before I’ll be able to make pissing in
your sock drawer worthwhile, you fuckwad.”

“So does that mean you’re okay?” Emmett’s tone has grown serious. He may be an asswipe at
times, but he knows when he needs to cut the shit. He’s a good brother. I think I’ll keep him.

“Yeah, I’m fine, big guy. I’ll be out in a few,” I say before dragging my sorry ass into a standing
position again.

I quickly scrub up and shut off the water. The entire bathroom is filled with steam, obscuring the
mirrors. I towel off and yank my jeans back on – no easy feat trying to wrap damp skin in denim.
I toss my boxer briefs in the hamper and turn to the mirror and look at my muddled reflection.

Using my forearm, I swipe some of the moisture from the glass and my true reflection comes
into focus.

“This is your brain,” I say in my best TV PSA voice. Stepping to the side, effectively blurring
my image in the mirror, I say, “And this is your brain on fucked-up-man-lust for your best

friend.”

I decide in this moment that I’m going to look at the basement fiasco logically. What started out
as a romp on the sofa with Alice turned into a joint effort between Edward and I to make certain
that she had an orgasm. That led to a makeout session with Edward followed by a dry hump on
the floor.

When I look at it logically like that, the whole situation seemed rather cheap.

I’m not cheap. Alice isn’t…really…okay, so she’s not cheap either. Edward is definitely not
cheap. He’s my boy for Christ’s sake.

So, now, I’ll look at the whole deal for what it really was.

It was fucking awesome almost-sex. And if I’m honest with myself, I’m not just referring to
Alice’s involvement. If I’m truly honest, I’m not referring to her involvement at all.

Edward knows what the fuck he’s doing.

So, I silently ask my reflection, does that mean I’m gay?

I had no trouble at all getting it up for Alice, so I find that hard to believe. What wasn’t there to
love about women? Alice knows what turns me on. She’s had a couple years to learn that.

That’s the thing though, isn’t it? She learned, over time, what I liked. Edward mastered it in just
a few minutes.

It makes sense when I think about it. Who better to know what makes a guy tick than another
guy?

I regard my damp likeness staring intently at me. So, does this mean I’m bisexual?

And what about Edward?

I need to talk with him. Now.

I use the towel and scrub my face free of what may have remained from my nervous breakdown
and leave the bathroom.

As I head for the stairs I hear grunts coming in rapid succession and distinct thuds coming from
Edward’s bedroom.

Ho, boy.

I walk down the hall, the grunts and the thuds growing louder as I reach my destination. When I
arrive at his door, I pause, seeing his door was slightly cracked. I slowly push the door open,

knowing full well that he isn’t paying a lick of attention to me and I regard his sweating, strained
form.

He is taking out his frustrations on Bob.

I desperately want to talk with him about what happened downstairs and clear the air. However, I
can’t bring myself to interrupt. Nor can I make myself leave.

So, in a state of fascination, I remain in his doorway.

And I watch.

**********

A/N *snicker* I know I’m just asking for a big ole spankin’ now. That being said, who’s
gonna step up and set me straight?;)

I mentioned to a few faithful readers that I was gonna introduce a rarely explored
character in this chapter. Said character has not been introduced yet. They’re coming in
chapter 7….most likely. So, confused? Who’s Bob? *evil laughter*

Okay – enough bitchery.

Review! Pimp me! Talk dirty to m…..uh…sorry..got a little carried away…;)


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Chapter: 7


A/N Blah blah blah….SM owns Twilight and all related characters.

No lengthy jabber this time….chapter is too angsty for that (I apologize for the entire lack
of funny in this chappy)

Now…who the fuck is Bob?

**********

He is taking out his frustrations on Bob.

I desperately want to talk with him about what happened downstairs and clear the air. However,
I can’t bring myself to interrupt. Nor can I make myself leave.

So, in a state of fascination, I remain in his doorway.

And I watch.

**********

His grunts are growing more insistent and I see the muscles in his shoulders straining with the
effort to maintain some semblance of control. Just moments later, his control slips and he lets out
a feral roar as Edward really lays into him.

I wonder how much more Bob can take before he needs to be replaced. Edward has had him for
several years and it seems as though the beatings he has suffered at the hands, and feet, of
Edward have only gotten increasingly worse.

I should probably explain that Bob is actually B.O.B., or Edward’s Body Opponent Bag. He’s a
lifelike mannequin in the form of a punching bag. Bob makes for realistic training sessions, or in
Edward’s case, total beatdowns. Right about now, I’m grateful that he has Bob on which to
unleash his vexations.

Edward is quite obviously pissed.

He still hasn’t revealed that he knows I’m standing in the doorway watching him work. Aside
from the fact that he is in his zone of fury, I also notice that he has a pair of ear buds in his ears.
He can’t even hear me.

Edward swapped his red boxers for a pair of white track pants with a black stripe running down
each of his legs. He is also now wearing a black wife-beater. The pants are baggy but you can
still make out the muscles in his legs with every twist of his hips and strike of his feet. The wife-
beater, on the other hand is practically painted on him. It leaves little to the imagination as I
watch the play of the muscles in his back every time his fist collides with the fleshy surface of
the mannequin. The black belt cinched around Edward’s waist sends a clear message: Don’t.
Fuck. With. Me.

I spent the entire summer following our freshman year of high school in Texas on my
grandparents’ ranch. When I came home just before the start of the semester, I was quite
surprised to discover that Edward had started Tae Kwon Do training during my absence.

Watching him now, I can see that he is a fucking natural. He stopped formal training once he got
his black belt and just trained independently when the mood struck, which was often. In the past
couple of years he started to drift from traditional Tae Kwon Do and began honing his
kickboxing skills.

I was surprised at his sudden fascination with the art because of the fit he threw when we took
Karate many years ago. When the four of us were in elementary school we were all enrolled in
karate classes; our parents felt we could use the discipline. Edward fought tooth and nail to drop

the classes because he had no interest in learning a contact sport of any kind. His passion lied in
track and cross country; he was an avid runner.

So to come home from my grandparents’ place that summer to find that he had been taking Tae
Kwon Do classes for a few weeks was more than a surprise to me. To see that he excelled so
quickly at a sport in which he previously had little interest was impressive. To see that he
enjoyed it and became more confident in himself as a result was inspiring.

When I asked Emmett what brought about Edward’s change of heart he simply said that Edward
wanted to be able to defend himself and that his new chiseled physique was definitely an added
bonus.

While I could understand his desire to get ripped, I didn’t, however, understand his desire to
formally learn a form of self-defense. Of course, no one should be without the knowledge of at
least basic self-defense, but I didn’t understand why Edward would want to have more than just a
basic knowledge, especially given his strong aversion to our grade school karate lessons. Besides
that, Edward was a pretty popular guy; he never had a beef with anyone in school.

Watching him, I could see that he now uses his training to unleash his pent up aggression.

Poor Bob.

Edward is now delivering swift blows to the midsection of the mannequin, causing me to wince
at the force. He follows the pummeling with a couple of roundhouse kicks to the shoulder.
Stepping back a bit, he bounces on the balls of his feet, fists in a protective pose in front of his
face right before he drives in and delivers three quick right jabs followed by a fierce left hook to
the face.

Bouncing back again he drops his hands, shaking the tension out of his shoulders and arms.
Standing briefly in place, he rolls his head about his shoulders, working out kinks in his neck.
Edward then darts back in and launches into a series of spinning hook kicks; each one hitting his
intended mark at the right side of Bob’s head. The force of each blow causes Bob’s neck to
nearly fold in half. With each kick, he lets out a breath in a punctuated hiss; much like a cobra
when it strikes.

I know we need to talk, but I’m starting to doubt my timing as I remain standing in his doorway.
Edward in Tae Kwon Do mode is not one to be messed with.

With one final kick to Bob’s head, Edward wheels around to face me. Shock registers on his face
as he steps back a little.

I’m speechless.

Edward’s chest if heaving and he is completely covered in sweat. The front of his wife-beater
has a crescent of deeper black around the collar where sweat had been skin glistens and I can see
droplets of perspiration clinging to the stubble on his jaw. His hair is now a deep auburn and

clinging to his scalp in messy, damp waves.

How the hell long was I in the shower? Edward worked himself into a frenzy in a giant fucking
hurry.

Fuck.

Again, I mistakenly think I didn’t mutter that word out loud. And again, I’m wrong.

God, I’ve been wrong about so many things.

“See something you like, Jasper?” He growls.

His name falls off my lips in a gasp.

He scoffs before speaking again. “Don’t start this shit with me, Jazz. I’m not falling for that
again.” He yanks out his ear buds and tosses them with his MP3 player onto his bed.

“Um…Edward. I…uh…I wanna talk to you about what happened,” I stammer.

“Oh, yeah? What do you wanna talk about? You wanna talk about me taking advantage of you?
Cuz you know that’s bullshit! I didn’t force you to do anything, Jasper!” he yells.

“Edward, I know…I…” I start to say before he cuts me off.

“I’m not a fucking monster, Jazz. I would never force anyone to do anything.”

“I never said you were a monster, Edward. Just calm down, please,” I beg him.

“Calm down. Right. I was so fucking stupid to think that you wanted…that you… But then you
looked at me like I fucking raped you…and…uggghhh!” His voice is growing shrill and
panicky.

“Edward, please. I didn’t mean…I…I don’t fucking know, man. I was shocked, that’s all. Maybe
we could just…um…I,” and he cuts me off again.

“Don’t you even start patronizing me, Jasper. That is the last thing I need right now. You know
what? Just…forget it,” he says before turning around.

“Forget it? Forget it? Edward, I don’t think that’s possible. I can’t forget it!” I shout back.

“What exactly can’t you forget, Jasper?” he asks with a sardonic smirk on his face.

“None of it. How you touched me. How you kissed me. How you…” I let my voice drop and
swallow hard.

He is directly in front of me in an instant, breathing against my neck. I can smell the salty musk
of his sweat and I am nearly overcome by the sudden urge to lean my head down to taste his
slick skin.

“How I what? How I made you say my name? How I made you come? How I made you scream
for me?” The last question is asked directly in my ear in a hoarse whisper.

My whole body trembles at the sound of his voice and my jeans are now incredibly
uncomfortable because of my raging erection.

My voice now drops to a whisper.
“I was about to say how you called me, ‘Love’, but I could never forget that either, Edward.”

He immediately draws back and looks me in the eye, his face reddening with embarrassment.
After everything he just said to me, now he’s embarrassed?

“That was just a slip of the tongue, Jasper. If I’m not mistaken, there was plenty of that going
on.”

“That’s bullshit, Masen, and you know it,” I snap.

“So it’s Masen, now? Well, fuck you, Cullen,” he snaps right back.

I take a deep breath and try to deescalate my temper before speaking again.

“Who was the first person you had a thing for, Edward?” I finally ask. It’s now or never.

His eyes grow as wide as saucers and the flush of his cheeks grows to a deep scarlet and creeps
down his neck.

I figure that is all the answer I need.

“What does it fucking matter to you, Jazz?” He quickly narrows his eyes and grits his teeth,
accentuating the sharp angles of his jaw line.

“It matters a lot if it’s something important to you, Edward. I’m not trying to be an asshole, I
swear. Emmett told me that I’ve been in the dark about a lot of things, and I guess I’m just
hoping you’ll shed a little light on some of those things for me.”

He snickers half-heartedly, looking at his bare feet.

“Another time, maybe. I’m not up for this discussion right now.”

“Why not? I’m here for you, Edward. I want you to talk to me, please.”

Edward shakes his head. “You know what? I can’t understand why all of a sudden you wanna

have a fucking heart-to-heart. You’ve never been the one to hash things out. I guess things are
different now that you have a hard on you can’t get rid of.” He runs his hands through his hair;
his laugh is bitter and acerbic.

Now I’m pissed.

“When the hell haven’t I been there for you, Edward? You are my fucking best friend….when
the hell haven’t I been there for you?” Scratch that. Now I’m fucking furious.

“It doesn’t fucking matter now. We can do this journey to enlightenment when I feel like it. And
right now, I don’t fucking feel like it.”

He turned back to start pummeling Bob again and I lose it.

“Look at me, damn it!” I grab Edward by the shoulder to force him to face me.

That mistake nearly earns me a broken nose. Luckily for me I dodge his left hook in just enough
time to feel the wind of his swing blow past my ear.

Thinking quickly, I duck my head and throw my body against his rock hard stomach, taking him
down. If Edward was shocked, I never knew it. I have him pinned for all of two seconds before
he clasps his hands behind my back, arches his back into my body, and effectively rolls me over.

He now has me pinned with his knees in my shoulders. He is sitting upright looking down on me
breathing like he just completed a suicide sprint.

“Now what, asshole?” he hisses.

I consider, briefly, crying, “Uncle.” We’ve never gotten in a fight like this. I don’t want this to
get out of control.

I consider it all too briefly.

As soon as the thought leaves my mind, I lift my legs off the floor, rolling my spine and placing
nearly all my weight on my shoulders before wrapping my ankles around his neck, jerking him
backwards off me.

We both scramble to our feet in a defensive crouch. Just as Edward launches himself at me,
slamming me into the wall, both Emmett and Jacob burst in the room.

Jacob thrusts his tree trunk arms under Edward’s and reaches behind his neck to clasp his hands,
locking Edward in a full nelson.

With a burst of adrenaline, I throw myself at Edward right before Emmett wraps me in a reverse
bear hug, pinning my arms to my sides.

“Cut the shit right now, little bro and maybe I’ll consider letting you go,” Emmett whispers in
my ear.

I collapse against my brother and allow him to support my weight. My anger has been replaced
by torment.

Now Edward will never let me in.

Looking across at Edward and Jacob, I see Jacob murmuring something in Edward’s ear.
Edward’s eyes squeeze shut and suddenly snap open. His breathing begins to accelerate and he
starts to emit rapid, panicky gasps.

Shit. I pushed him into a panic attack.

Several years ago, Edward started having trouble with anxiety. Panic attacks were a common
occurrence and he ended up taking a prescription for it before too long. Edward never wanted to
talk about what would trigger them and would lash out at me if I tried to talk with him about it
afterwards. He would only discuss the physical aspects of the attack itself. He’d break out in a
sweat, he would have trouble breathing, his heartbeat would become erratic and he would be
wholeheartedly convinced that he was dying.

I haven’t seen Edward’s terrified visage in the throes of a panic attack in over two years, but I
have no trouble recognizing it now.

I could never help him during an attack. If I tried to talk to him or touch him, I would just make
things worse. The only ones who could talk him down were Jacob or Emmett.

“Fuck,” Jacob mutters before releasing his hold on Edward. Just after Edward falls to his knees
on the floor, Jacob is on the floor with him, mimicking Edward’s pose behind him, and
mimicking the hold Emmett has on me. He leans forward, letting his long, ebony hair cascade
over Edward’s shoulder as he whispers in his ear.

I can’t hear what Jacob’s whispering, but I’ve seen it so many times, I know what he saying.

“Everything’s okay, Edward. You’re in a safe place surrounded by people who love you.”

“I’m dying. Help me,” Edward rasps.

“You’re not dying, Edward. You’re having a panic attack. Where are we right now?”

In between gasps, Edward answers, “We’re in my bedroom.”

“Who’s with you?”

“Jacob, Emmett, Jasper.” He chokes on my name and I nearly come undone trying to get out of
Emmett’s grasp.

Just then, Emmett growls in my ear. “You know better, Jazz. Just let it pass.”

“Name all the Seven Dwarfs for me.”

“Sleepy. Sneezy. Dopey. Doc. Happy. Bashful. Grumpy.”

His breathing is starting to settle slightly. We’ve discovered that after assuring Edward that he’s
in a safe place, the most effective way to ease him out of a panic attack was to have him focus on
his surrounds and then on mundane, trivial things.

“What’s the square root of pi?”

“One point seven seven two five.”

“Now give me the real answer, genius.”

Edward takes a shuddering breath before answering. He appears to have calmed down
significantly because now he is smiling.

“One point seven seven two four five three eight five zero nine zero five five one six zero two
seven two nine eight one six seven four eight three three one four. How’s that, fucker?”

“Perfect. How are you feeling?” Jacob asks.

“I’m feeling okay now, I think. Thank you.”

“Good, because now I don’t have a problem telling you that you need to get your sweaty ass in
the shower. You smell like a truck load of pterodactyl shit,” Jacob responds with a chuckle.

“Go fuck yourself, Jake,” Edward jabs back.

Jacob releases Edward from his arms, allowing Edward to sit back on his heels with his hands in
his lap.

That was the fastest I’ve ever seen Edward come down from an attack. Jacob quickly became a
pro at calming him down, and even though he’s been out of practice, he still has the magic touch.

Just then Emmett asks, “If I let you go, do you promise to play nice?”

“I’m fine, snot-rocket, just let me go.”

As he lets me go, I nearly fall on the floor in a heap. Instead I just stand there like an idiot with
my hands in my pockets.

Emmett is the first to speak. “Well, I have some schoolwork to do. You guys gonna be okay?”

Edward and I both nod in response.

Jacob pipes up next. “I’ve got a hot date with Renesmee tonight. She and her cousin wanna hit
that new club downtown. I gotta go hop in the shower.”

Again, Edward and I nod.

With the closing of the door, just like that, we’re alone again.

What’s that saying about the tension being so thick you can cut it with a knife? Well, this
situation could use a fucking chainsaw.

I chance a step forward in Edward’s direction and pray that I don’t set him off in some way. He
glances up at me and slowly stands up.

Okay, this is progress.

I take another step forward and seeing no resistance in Edward, I take another, followed by
another. Finally I’m standing nearly nose to nose with him.

“Edward, I’m sorry. I never meant for anything to go down like it did today. Please believe me
when I say that I am here for you. You’re my best friend, and I would do anything for you.”

After a very pregnant pause, Edward looks at me questioningly and clears his throat. “Anything,
Jasper?”

I release a quivering breath before nodding in response.

Edward tilts his head and parts his lips part in invitation. I’m now breathing heavily through my
mouth and my head is spinning.

He’s not pushing me away. Thank God.

“Edward,” I whisper before gently nuzzling his cheek.

“Damn it, Jasper. Tell me you want this as much as I do,” I swallow his last word with a kiss and
his groan is desperate against my mouth. What begins as a gentle caress of our lips turns into
a…I don’t know what you’d fucking call it. All I know is that my skin is buzzing with what I am
now recognizing as Edward’s electric current. I also know that the taste of sweaty, spent Edward
is so fucking delicious.

How could I have been so fucking blind for so long?

Edward gently grasps my arms just below my shoulders and I reach up to cup his face. I tilt my
head to gain better access inside his mouth and practically assault the velvet surfaces with my

tongue ring.

He whimpers against me and I can feel him tremble.

He pulls back from me minutely before whispering my name.

“Jasper, I’m…please don’t…God I…” and then I feel his body begin to convulse. He’s crying.

Fuck. Did I cause another panic attack? Way to go, fuckstick!

He wraps his arms around my ribs and buries his face in my shoulder. I wrap an arm around his
shoulder and my other arm behind his head, holding him tight to me.

The force of his sobs is radiating through to my body and I tighten my grip, afraid to let him go.

“I’m so sorry,” he whimpers.

“Edward, there’s nothing you need to be sorry for. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

I feel him shake his head against me.

“Everything’s okay, Edward.”

“I know.”

Okay, so he’s not having a panic attack. He’s just having the same kind of moment I had in the
shower. I can handle this.

“Just promise me that you’ll be honest with me. I’m here for you, I swear it. Whatever this is, we
can figure it out together, okay?”

He nods again against my shoulder and sweetly kisses my neck.

Just as I am about to return the sentiment, there’s a knock at the door.

“Yoohoo…ya gonna let me in sweetie?”

It’s Bella. Great.

This should be fun.

**********

A/N I have the youtube video link posted on my profile that gave me the inspiration for
TaeKwonDo-ward.

Also, as far as the square root of pi goes, (1.) in the words of AngstGoddess003, I Wiki’ed
that shit. I never even knew there was a square root till I saw the fricken movie.

Also – um…yeah…didn’t get a chance to introduce the new character this time. I did
allude to them though…it’s Renesmee’s cousin. Proper intro next time….I hope;)

As always, review! Pimp! Sing me to sleep…I’m fucking tired…


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Chapter: 8


A/N As always, SM is the genius that owns everything related to Twilight. I’m the dumb
slut that can’t keep her characters out of my sordid fantasies.

Thank you all so much for the glorious reviews! I’m also so very grateful for those of you
who added me to your favorite stories/authors list and put me on story alert. It thrills me to
no end and still surprises the shit out of me that y’all are enjoying this.

And thanks also, of course to MasterJasperWhitlock/Touchstone67 for rec’ing this little
ditty on Twislash Unveiled. That both exicted me (hee hee) and scared me to fucking death
since my story traffic has significantly increased and now there’s some added pressure for
me to…uh..perform well ;) That last part may or may not have contributed to my most
recent bout of writer’s block. Or it could have just been poor planning on my part. *shrug*
Regardless, THANK YOU, Touchstone for taking a chance on me even though I bashed
one of your hardlimits to shreds (and I will continuously try to make that up to you, I
swear it!)

Last but not least, I’m gonna issue a warning (see? I am capable of learning my lesson):
There is a bit of Jasper heartfail in this chapter (which is truly the reason why it was
difficult for me to write). But I swear on my life I WILL MAKE IT BETTER!!! I will also
happily answer any questions y’all have regarding this (well, as best as I can without giving
too much shit up). Feel free to PM me or come play on the not-quite-as-naked-as-it-was-
before Twilighted thread (link is in my profile).

To make up for my failure to update in a timely manner, this chapter’s a bit longer than
others….enjoy!

**********

“Just promise me that you’ll be honest with me. I’m here for you, I swear it. Whatever this is, we
can figure it out together, okay?”

He nods again against my shoulder and sweetly kisses my neck.

Just as I am about to return the sentiment, there’s a knock at the door.

“Yoohoo…ya gonna let me in sweetie?”

It’s Bella. Great.

This should be fun.

**********

“Oh, God…Bella,” Edward whispers against me. He then pulls away from me and scrubs his
face with his hands.

“I didn’t think she was coming until tomorrow,” he continues to whisper.

“What do you wanna do, Edward?” I ask, keeping my voice low.

“Um…” he says before squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head.

He keeps his eyes shut as he raises his voice to speak. “I’m sorry, Bella. You’re gonna have to
give me a little bit. I have to take a shower. Mind waiting for me downstairs?”

“Sure thing, sugar!”

My heart squeezed to hear that sentiment. What’s going to happen now? Even though it’s been
an erratic relationship, Edward and Bella have always been addicted to each other. She was like
his heroin and he always dropped everything to have his fix. Why they hadn’t settled down and
solidified their relationship is beyond me. Now that she’s here, and with what took place today,
I’m not sure if I would be able to handle that.

What are his intentions now?

I listen to her retreating footsteps and chance a look at Edward. He still has his eyes squeezed
shut like he’s fighting off a headache. He makes this analogy even more plausible by squeezing
the bridge of his nose.

It dawns on me that Bella didn’t just barge in or make some kind of comment about joining him
in the shower. That’s slightly out of character for her. I have to wonder if Edward noticed that,
too.

Edward runs his fingers through his hair, causing the damp tresses to shoot off his head in odd
angles. Finally he opens his eyes to look at me. That lopsided grin of his lights up his face and I
can’t help but smile back.

“Everything okay, man?” I ask.

His grin grows larger and I see the devil dance in his eyes for a brief moment before he pushes
me against the door.

Oh, hell yes. I can so get used to this.

He seals my mouth with his and he immediately slips his tongue across the quivering flesh of my
lips. Greedily, I open my mouth granting him entry. He grasps my head in his hands holding me
flush against him as I make fists in his sweat soaked shirt.

For several delicious moments we savor the depths of each other’s mouths, the air filled with soft
sounds of the parting suction of our kisses and the wet slick of our tongues skimming every
moist contour.

Edward pulls back to begin assaulting my neck with his lips and teeth.

“Oh, God. Edward.” The words escape my mouth in a heavy breath.

“Do you have any idea how good your skin tastes, Jasper?” He follows the question with a swipe
of his tongue across the hollow of my throat.

A knock at the door immediately clears the lustful haze that was beginning to cloud my vision.

Motherfucker!

“Jazz, you still in there?” Jacob asks.

“Um…yeah. What do you need, Jake?” Thankfully he doesn’t bother trying to open the door.

“Everyone’s cool?”

“Fine and…uh…fucking dandy, thanks…” I can’t think. Edward is currently distracting me. He
abandoned my neck for my…

Oh. My. Word.

Bring on the haze.

Edward’s body shakes with a silent chuckle as he sucks one of my nipples past his teeth and
gently nibbles the hardened nub.

I bite back a whimper as I struggle to regain the ability to form a complete thought and just
maybe be able to indicate to Jacob that I have the mental capacity of an adult…as opposed to that
of a three-year-old seeking instant gratification. Just as I open my mouth to speak, however,

Edward’s hands drift down my sides, gently tickling my ribs. It takes all I have to keep from
writhing like a fricken worm against the door. That would most likely give Jacob reason to try to
let himself in.

And just how would I explain the position we were in?

Well, more specifically the position Edward was in since he has now silently dropped to his
knees, his fingers dancing about the waistline of my jeans.

He pops the button above my fly and, folding back the denim, he kisses the spot of newly
exposed flesh.

Warning bells are ringing in my head.

Too much! Too much!

This is going way too far, way too fucking quick.

I panic and throw my hands up, frantically waving them in the air in hopes of catching Edward’s
attention without attracting Jacob’s. I’m successful in bringing Edward’s focus to my face
instead of the expanse of skin between my belly and my raging hard-on.

That success is short lived as he smirks before placing a hot, open-mouthed kiss on my tattoo.
When I’m certain that my knees are going to give out on me, he makes my predicament all the
worse by tracing the outline of my tattoo with his tongue.

“Holy fuck!” I scream.

All at once, the doorknob is rattling, Jacob is trying to open the door, and Edward has collapsed
on the floor in a heap of silent laughter with his knees up to his chest and his arms tightly
wrapped around his middle.

Just as the door begins to open, I slam my body back against it, effectively denying Jacob entry
into the bedroom.

“Jazz, what the hell? What happened? You okay?” he yells before pushing on the door again.

“Charley horse, Jake. I’m good. Be out in a minute.”

I hear Jacob release the doorknob and the door clicks shut once again.

Edward now has his hands clasped over his mouth as he continues to all but convulse on the
floor in his amusement.

“Ouch! Sucks to be you, huh? Well…um…come find me when you’re no longer suffering,
then.”

Huh. He gave up quicker than I thought he would.

Did he see right through me?

I listen to his departure momentarily before sliding down to the floor. I’m now eyelevel with
Edward, who has resorted to snorting, clearly still enjoying himself at my expense.

“I’m glad to see you’re having such a good time,” I scoff.

Edward slides over to me, sitting by my side against the door.

Chuckling, he says, “Well, I was having a good time.”

I take a deep breath before releasing it in a long, resigned sigh.

“Edward,” I whisper.

“Hmmm?” Edward has the back of his head against the door and his eyes are closed.

“I really think it would be a good idea if we just take this slow.”

Edward turns to look at me and a smile spreads slowly across his face.

“Yeah, slow. I can do slow.” His eyelids flutter closed. “But, can you?” His eyes open again to
look at me as his smile broadens and he moistens his lips with his tongue.

I answer his question with a smile and a not so gentle punch to the shoulder.

“I’m being serious, jackass.”

He laughs. “Okay, I gotcha. Totally serious now.”

“This has been a fuck of a day, man. A hell of a lot for me to process.”

“I understand completely. More than you know,” he says before leaning his head on my
shoulder.

“Well, I guess I better go find out what the hell Jake wanted and you need to get your ass in the
shower,” I say, pulling myself into a standing position.

“Sounds like a plan.” As he stands up beside me, I hear him chuckle again.

“What’s so funny?” I ask.

“I was just thinking that once I get in the shower, I will most likely be entertaining some impure

thoughts,” he replies with a wink.

I blush…yes, I fucking blush…and shake my head as I move to open the door. Before I can open
it completely, Edward presses his lips to my ear.

“You better button your pants, boy. What would everyone think seeing you come out my room in
such a state?” Before I can even think, he playfully swats my ass and darts out the door in front
of me, trotting towards the bathroom.

I’m not sure if he was really referring to the undone button of my jeans or the fact that the zipper
is barely containing my erection. Neither would look appropriate at this point, so I simply stand
in the doorway of Edward’s bedroom and take a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

Feeling confident that I can head downstairs without making it painfully obvious that I was very
recently in a more than heightened state of arousal, I seek out Jacob to find out what the hell he
wanted from me.

I reach the kitchen and find him eating. Again. I know he needs the extra calories to support his
massive frame, but God damn! First pizza and now Captain Crunch – in a medium sized mixing
bowl, no less – what happened to protein shakes?

“Need a stack of flapjacks to go with that meal, buddy?” I ask.

“Only if someone else is making them.” He laughs. “So, is your leg okay, man?”

I have already forgotten that I lied about having a charley horse and am momentarily stunned.

“Um, yeah. Much better, thanks.”

He raises his eyebrow and smirks. “So what were you doing to cause a cramp, Jazz?”

Oh, he saw right through me, alright.

“I don’t know. Breathing, blinking, metabolizing…take your pick. What matters is it’s gone
now.” I just want him to fucking drop it already.

“Whatever, dude,” he says, chuckling. “So, do you have plans tonight?”

Right now, I really have no fricken clue.

“Not really. No,” I reply.

“Well, you should come with us then. Renesmee and her cousin wanted to go to Midnight Sun
tonight,” he says right before inhaling another heaping spoonful of sugary cereal.

“Midnight Sun? Is that place even open? It looks like it’s still under construction.”

I’ve been catching advertisements everywhere for the opening of the new downtown club for
several weeks. The façade looked interesting enough but it appeared as though construction
wasn’t complete with unfinished wood framework around windows and doors, and patches of
brick showing through concrete. Of course, I have no idea what the interior looks like but I’m
willing to guess that it would probably have that same “in progress” look about the place.
Regardless, it seemed like a pretty promising venue. Advertisements boasted an upstairs dance
area with a DJ, downstairs offered karaoke and live music on select nights as well as pool tables
and darts. So, of course Jacob wanted to go just so he can show off like the big dork he is.

I really wasn’t in the mood for dancing tonight but I was interested in hearing whatever local act
would be playing. I love listening to live music, being a musician myself.

“Who’s playing tonight? Any idea?” I ask Jacob.

“Can’t remember the name of the band but I hear they’ve been known to cover a lot of Incubus.”

Fucking sweet.

“Count me in! Emmett going?”

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t. The girls will be here within the hour and I figure we can all head
down to Hale’s for some grub first.”

Hale’s is a greasy-spoon twenty-four hour joint that is immensely popular with the college
students. They make some fucktabulously huge burgers and various other artery clogging
delicacies.

Now I know for sure that Emmett will be joining us because he has a thing for one of the
waitresses. And by thing, I mean he’s made it clear that he wants to bend her over the first
available waist high surface and fuck her stupid.

Rosalie Hale is the owner’s daughter and has worked there since she was legally old enough to
do so. I would be lying if I said she wasn’t attractive. She’s tall, leggy, blonde, has a rocking
body, and the most acidic, “Fuck you” attitude that a woman could possess. So naturally,
Emmett wanted to marry her and make her have his meathead babies.

“Do you think Edward would want to go?” Jacob asked.

Would he? How is that gonna work? Would we go “together”? Did I want us to go together?
What about Bella?

“He’s in the shower at the moment. When he gets out I’ll ask him,” I replied.

Jacob merely nods as he wolfs down the rest of his cereal. After wiping his mouth and putting
the bowl in the sink to soak, he heads downstairs to the basement without another word.

I turn around back towards the stairs and almost run into Bella as she’s emerging from the
downstairs bathroom. She doesn’t look like herself. She looks tired, her eyes lack the usual
twinkle they normally possess, and she’s more pale than usual. She’s always been more on the
pasty side than most, but right now her pallor was borderline severe. She’s wearing a layered
tank top and yoga pants and has her hair up in a sloppy ponytail. In a word, she looks shitty.
Definitely not the norm.

“Hey, Bella. You feeling alright?” I reach out and touch her slumped shoulder. She offers me a
tired smile.

“Just a little under the weather and I’m tired from the drive. I planned on coming tomorrow, but I
was just outside of Bowie when I called. I was just so sick of driving that I didn’t wanna stop for
the night since I was only a few hours away.”

Bowie’s a three hour drive. I can’t believe it’s been three hours since she called Edward late this
afternoon. Time flies, I guess, when you’re having…hell, I don’t fricken know.

Bringing myself back to the issue at hand, Bella, I grow more concerned. She really didn’t look
well.

“Bella, you look like hell. Do you need to a drink or something?” I ask her.

She holds up a water bottle in response to my question.

“You really should sit or lay down or something, hon. You’re starting to worry me.”

“I’m fine, really, Jasper,” she replies with a weak smile. An instant later, she falls against me.

“Whoa…uh…okay. Bella? I’m gonna bring you to the living room so you can lay on the couch.”

She shakes her head against me.

“Right…I guess…um…a bed would be more comfortable. How ‘bout I bring you upstairs and
you can lay down for a bit on Edward’s bed?”

She nods against my chest.

I realize now she’s too weak to stand so I scoop her up in my arms bridal style. Christ, she’s tiny!

“Bella, have you lost weight? Do I need to call Carlisle?”

Carlisle is a doctor and operates a clinic here in Phoenix. He is also my father and is quite used
to getting calls from all of us for various things. I know he wouldn’t mind coming over to check
on Bella if we asked him.

“That’s not necessary, Jazz. I’ll be fine. I haven’t been feeling well and it was stupid of me to
attempt the drive all by myself, let alone not stopping for the night. And besides, the weight loss
is very common at first.”

At first for what?

“Honey, I’m afraid you’re not making much sense.”

We’re at Edward’s bedroom door now when I realize she has nodded off. I start to panic until I
hear her snoring softly against my chest.

I lay her down on Edward’s bed, set her water bottle on the bedside table and cover her with a
green throw blanket. I also start to wonder if I should call Carlisle after all.

I decide to let Edward make that decision as I gently stoke her hair before standing up.

Yes, I’m worried about what Bella would mean in regards to whatever is going on between
Edward and I, but knowing she’s not feeling well bothers me.

Over the past few years, to say that Edward has had a problem with mood swings would be like
saying that the sun was a little on the warm side. Bella never failed to even him out when they
were together. And since, in the past, I’ve never been able to reignite his spark once it’s dimmed,
I would always be grateful that she was capable. It would downright kill him if something was
wrong with her.

I slink out of the bedroom and begin to make my way towards my own. I almost pass up the
bathroom when I’m brought to a sudden halt.

The door is half open. Why the hell Edward would forget to shut the door while he was in the
shower escapes me. However, as I reach out to close it Edward’s voice drifts out with the steam.

Is he crying?

I poke my head just inside the door and realize I am not quite correct.

He’s whimpering. And I’m pretty sure I just heard something that sounded an awful lot like,
“Jazz”.

Ho, boy.* (I'd wait a bit before checking out this explanation in the A/N...trust me)

I thought he was joking when he mentioned that he was going to be entertaining some impure
thoughts in the shower. Okay, that’s not entirely true. What better place for such “entertaining”
was there? Really?

But did he really intend for me to listen….or catch him?

Now I can hear the distinct sounds of Edward rapidly pumping his erection, causing my own to
stir back to life in my jeans.

Great, now I feel guilty. Guilty because just moments, before I was (and of course, I still am)
concerned with Bella’s physical state. Guilty because I’m listening in on what should be a
private moment for Edward (or at least it’s supposed to be, regardless of what his intentions may
be). Last but not least, I’m guilty for just fucking eavesdropping in general.

After listening in on Edward and Mike earlier today and watching Edward beat the shit out of
Bob without immediately making my presence known, you would think I’m some kind of
voyeur. Truly I’m not, so I have no idea what’s come over me today. I’m also fairly sure this shit
is gonna bite me in the ass before too long.

I’m about to remedy the situation by leaving, and really, I need to get my ass dressed if I planned
on going anywhere tonight. Just before I do, I hear Edward turn the water off in the shower.

I never heard him finish.

Fuck, Jazz…why the hell does it matter? Start thinking with the head on your shoulders instead
of the one in your pants!

Before I even realize I’m doing it, I knock on the half open door.

“It’s open!” Edward shouts.

No shit, Sherlock.

“Edward, I just wanted to give you a heads up.” I barely poke my head through the bathroom
door.

“No need to be shy, Jasper. I’m decent.”

I hesitate before stepping in and find him standing on the bathmat with a towel wrapped around
his waist, barely dangling on his hips and covering what it should.

Lord, help me.

To draw his attention away from my current “state”, I reply, “Since when?”

He chuckles before running his hands through his hair, shaking water off in all directions. “Yeah,
I guess you’re right.”

He steps in front of the mirror and swipes the glass with his hand to clear his reflection.

“Don’t even start, Jasper. It’s my turn to clean the bathrooms this week; I think I’m entitled to
leave a few fingerprints.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” Truly…my attention was certainly not on the streaks
crisscrossing the mirror.

He examines the stubble on his face, turning his head to one side, then the other before
scratching his jaw.

“Ah, fuck it. I can get away with not shaving one more day.”

Good, because I kinda like the scruff.

Christ! What is wrong with me? Just yesterday, my thoughts would have been in a completely
different neighborhood than they are right now.

If it weren’t for the fact that I haven’t lost time** (I'd wait a bit before checking out this
explanation in the A/N...trust me) at all today, I would have started to fear that maybe I had
some form of multiple personality disorder.

“So, what did you want to give me a heads up about?”

“Bella really isn’t feeling well. She nearly fainted downstairs and I had to carry her up here.
She’s in your bed, sleeping.”

He immediately dropped his cocky demeanor and a look of concern consumed his face.

“Nearly fainted? Christ, is she alright?” he asks and starts for the door before I can answer.

I continue to talk as he almost jogs back to his bedroom.

“She said she was tired from the trip and hadn’t been feeling well. She also mentioned that she
lost some weight. Doesn’t seem to be running a fever or anything but I offered to call Carlisle
and she refused. I really don’t know what’s wrong.”

Edward knelt beside the bed and felt first her forehead, then her cheek.

“She’s flushed, but she’s not hot,” he assessed.

“Flushed is an improvement. She was awfully pale when I brought her up here.”

He nods in response before standing.

“Would you mind sitting with her a moment while I get dressed real quick? I’m fucking worried
now. I’ve never seen her sick with anything other than a head cold.”

“No problem, man.” I sit on the floor beside the bed and watch her sleep as Edward steps into his
walk-in closet to get dressed.

What seems like only seconds later, he emerges dressed in a pair of form-fitting black jeans
and….my Spin Doctors t-shirt?

“Dude, you know how long I’ve been looking for that?” I ask him, keeping my voice low.

He winks before answering. “Shut the fuck up, man. You know it looks better on me anyway.”

Was I about to argue? That would be a negative.

Just then, Bella begins to stir and our attention is immediately drawn to her as she starts to sit up.

Edward kneels beside me by the bed and cups her face in his hands.

“Baby girl, what’s wrong? What can I do? Should I call Dr. Cullen?”

She smiles weakly in response. “I already told Jasper that wouldn’t be necessary. This is all
normal, I promise. I just pushed myself a bit too far with the drive. Really, a doctor isn’t gonna
tell me something I don’t already know.”

Oh shit. She’s not fine. Oh, my God. What’s wrong?

“Jasper, I don’t want to sound rude, but I really need to talk with Edward alone.”

OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod.

“I can respect that, sweetie. But if you need me, I’ll be just down the hall, alright?”

Before I stand up, I gently squeeze Edward’s shoulder. He’s thinking the same thing I am, I’m
sure. He’s gone green around the gills and I’m really pretty nervous about leaving him alone.
This situation will not improve if he has another panic attack.

He nods as if to answer my unasked question about him being okay with me leaving.

I finally bring myself to leave the room and shut the door behind me.

If she’s sick…really sick…this is gonna be fucking awful. She already knows something’s
wrong and it’s not good. A list of terminal illnesses start running through my head and visions of
her in a hospital bed with various tubes connected to machines and bags of fluids begin to
overwhelm me. I cannot even imagine what is going through Edward’s head right now.

Truly terrified as to how this will affect him, and seriously concerned about Bella’s condition, I
make a liar out of myself and disrespect Bella’s wishes to leave the two of them completely
alone as I remain standing on the other side of the door.

I hear Bella start to cry softly and Edward shushing her and whispering, “Bella it’s okay. We’ll

make everything alright. We can take care of you, I promise. Please tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

Remember what I said about the whole eavesdropping thing coming back to bite me in the ass? I
swear I’m a fucking prophet, because the next three words that leave Bella’s mouth prove me
right.

“Edward, I’m pregnant.”

**********

A/N Once again, Renesmee's cousin hasn't been introduced...of course, more important shit
was going on.

* When I say, “Ho, boy” I’m not calling Edward a ho boy! Think of it as saying, “Oh, boy”
on an exhale…I do it a lot, personally, but after receiving several messages after using the
phrase in a previous chapter, I realized how it came across. I’m not calling Edward a ho.
Well, not then I’m not….but….oh, fuck it. Just wanted to kinda clear that up. ;)

** For people suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder, most are unaware of the
psychotic break that occurs and “lose time” (or black out as it is more commonly referred
to). If I didn’t stress it enough in the first chapter…watch Primal Fear. If nothing else, it’s
educational :)


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Chapter: 9


A/N Blah, blah, blah…SM owns Twilight and all related characters. I’m just the ne’er-do-
gooder who enjoys putting them in impossibly fucked up situations.

When I say that I was overwhelmed by the response I got from Chapter 8, I really mean to
say, “Oh my fucking GOD!” I certainly expected flames and rotten tomatoes for the
fuckery that was Bella’s news. Never did I expect the amount of love that flooded my inbox.
As you all know, I’m generally pretty good about responding to reviews….but with the
glitches that were popping up all over the place with FFnet the past few days, that was
more than difficult, so I apologize. I’ll do better next time just as long as everything is back
to normal ;)

**********

I hear Bella start to cry softly and Edward shushing her and whispering, “Bella it’s okay. We’ll
make everything alright. We can take care of you, I promise. Please tell me what’s wrong,

baby.”

Remember what I said about the whole eavesdropping thing coming back to bite me in the ass? I
swear I’m a fucking prophet, because the next three words that leave Bella’s mouth prove me
right.

“Edward, I’m pregnant.”

**********

Pregnant? Fucking pregnant? How the hell can she be pregnant?

Well, you see Jasper, when two people are attracted to each other, and things start to get hot and
heavy, and someone forgets a fucking condom…….

I don’t know whether I want to scream or just pound my fist into the door.

And really? Why does it matter? It hasn’t even been a full twenty-four hours since this whole
shit storm has started. It’s not like we’ve been dating…or…whatever. It’s not like I’m the one
who’s about to be a father. It’s not like he and I have shared anything truly special.

Right, Jazz you just keep telling yourself that.

I walk down to my bedroom, shut the door quietly, find the first available pillow and scream a
string of obscenities into the stuffing.

“Fuckin’ motherfucker, God damn stupid shit!”

To the innocent bystander, I probably sounded like a muffled temper-tantrum-throwing-toddler.
Of course, it didn’t help matters that my enraged state caused my voice to jump at least half an
octave.

I toss the pillow back onto the bed and rake my hands down my face.

Pull yourself together, Jazz. Do you honestly think he’s not experiencing the same thing right
now?

Do I give a shit? Right now, the answer would be, “no”. Of course, he had no idea that Bella was
coming here with the purpose of springing this news on him. I’m sure if that were the case, then
all the shit that went down today would never had occurred. At least I hope it wouldn’t have. I’d
like to think he would be more responsible than that.

And speaking of responsible, why did this happen? A condom is necessary. Always. Every time.
Surely he didn’t think he was immune to getting a girl knocked up. And of course, nowadays a
pregnancy is the smallest problem on the totem pole of shit-that-could-go-wrong-when-you-fuck.
If he didn’t protect himself with her, did that mean he didn’t protect himself ever?

If that were the case, I am fucking grateful this shit ended when it did. An STD would definitely
throw a wrench in my future plans.

I decide I’m gonna take Edward’s earlier advice and just forget it. All of it. Clean slate.

Fuck, I don’t think it’s possible.

I fall across the bed on my back and cover my face with my hands. I try to will my tears to
remain unshed, but quickly realize that it’s an impossible feat. They slide past my fingers, down
my cheeks to my ears, finally absorbing in my curls.

Damn it, give it up already! Why the hell are you crying over him?

I sit up on my bed and lean forward over my knees, gazing at my bare feet.

I have no idea why I’m crying over him. I’ve done enough of that shit today and I can’t fucking
understand why.

Yes, I like the way he touched me. Yes, I enjoyed his kiss and his lips on my skin. And fuck yes,
I loved it when he pinned me on the basement floor beneath him and made me scream.

And was I really the first person he had a fucking crush on? He never came out and said it, but
I’d like to think I’m perceptive enough to gather that much.

Would that matter?

And he called me, “Love”. I’ve never heard him use that term of endearment, ever. Not even
with Bella. Fucking Bella.

Does that matter?

No, it doesn’t. It’s not like he came out and told me he loved me. Clearly, he was embarrassed
that he said even that. He even told me that it was a slip of the tongue. He never told anyone that
he loved them. Not like that.

Fuck it. I’m twenty-one years old. I don’t need this lovey-dovey “you complete me” bullshit
right now anyway. I’m gonna go out with the boys, maybe hit on Renesmee’s cousin a bit if
she’s hot, throw back a shitload of beer, and listen to some good live music.

Edward can stay home with Bella and play Baby-Daddy and figure his shit out. If he wants help,
I’ll give it. If he wants to talk about “us”, fuck him. I’m done.

And tonight, I swear to God he will be the farthest thing from my mind.

I start pawing through my closet, looking for something half-way decent to wear. I settle on a

white, striped button-down shirt and pull a sage colored vest over it. Deciding to go with the I-
didn’t-feel-like-going-all-out look, I roll up the sleeves of the shirt and leave the vest unbuttoned.
I then pull on a pair of charcoal gray jeans and black cowboy boots and head back to the
bathroom to shave, brush my teeth and figure out what the fuck to do with my hair.

Twenty minutes later, my face is smooth, my teeth are brushed, and my hair won’t do a damn
thing I tell it to. My blonde curls have always been nothing short of unruly and no amount of gel
or, heaven forbid, mousse will tame it. My undisciplined locks spring every which way and
several strands hang in front of my eyes.

Oh yeah. The emo cowboy look does wonders for you, asswipe.

I decide that it’s a lost cause and I make my way back to the stairs, briefly stopping at the
landing to listen for anything that would be coming from Edward’s bedroom. The door actually
stood open and after making the short walk down to the door, I see that the lights are off and the
room is completely empty.

Did they just leave?

I slowly descend the stairs, reluctant to see that they may actually be in the kitchen or somewhere
else painfully public that will make this whole scenario that much more enjoyable. I just see
Emmett and Jacob leaning back against the island in the kitchen. Emmett was checking his cell
phone and Jacob was checking his watch.

“So what’s the deal, y’all?” I try to keep my voice as nonchalant as possible.

Jacob actually had his hair slicked back and in a ponytail. He normally lets it hang down, as if to
tell the world, “Yes, I’m a Native American. What of it?” Of course, the pony tail says
practically the same thing but gives the impression that you can take him home to Mama.

If Mama only knew…

“Renesmee and Dessert Girl should be here any minute. Then, if it’s just us, we’re gonna take
the Trail Blazer down to Hale’s and finally fucking eat,” Jacob spouts.

“Ok…two things. Dessert Girl? And I thought you just ate, Jake.” Fucking incredible, he’s still
hungry?

“Fuck you, Jazz, I’m starving.”

Emmett decides to put his two cents in.

“He calls her Dessert Girl because her name reminds him of a dessert.”

“Is her name Strawberry Short Cake?” I ask sarcastically.

Emmett’s booming laughter nearly rattles the dishes in the cabinets.

“No, it’s Claire. As in éclair.”

“That’s not why I call her that, dumbass. She works in a dessert shop,” Jacob scoffs.

“Right, you know damn well that you call her Dessert Girl because you imagine her to be a
French, cream-filled tart,” Emmett follows his statement with a punch to Jacob’s shoulder.

I roll my eyes at the big galoot before asking what I really wanna know.

Do you really wanna know?

YES!

“Any idea where Bella and Edward are? They’re not upstairs.”

Jacob’s the one who answers.

“I invited them to come with us, but Bella declined and Edward said that he was just going to
take her out for something to eat. He did mention that he wanted to talk with you when we got
back tonight.” He ended this statement with a raise of an eyebrow, silently asking me to
elaborate.

I just answer with a shrug and a blasé, “Okay.”

Yeah, I bet he wants to talk with me.

Let it fucking go! We don’t need to be thinking about the shit that will bring us down tonight.

Finally, there’s a knock at the front door.

Jacob all of a sudden turns into a giddy fricken girl and all but skips to the door to answer it.

What the fuck is wrong with him? Does Nessie have him whipped already?

Enter Renesmee, or Nessie as I’ve resorted to calling her because that ridiculous name is too
much for me. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in one of those intentionally messy buns and
she was wearing what could only be described as a little black power dress that came to about
mid thigh. And speaking of thighs, they were now wrapped around Jacob’s waist, making no
bones about the fact that she wanted to, uh, bone him. Jacob voiced no objection but that was
probably due in part to the fact that their mouths were otherwise occupied with each other.

I finally tear my eyes away from this scene and take in the girl behind her who I can only assume
is Dessert Girl.

And holy hell, what a vision.

She was smirking at the spectacle that was Jacob and Nessie, with the fullest set of lips I’ve ever
seen on a girl. She has shoulder-length chunky brown hair with bangs that fall just in her
eyes…and fuck! Those eyes! They were a cornflower blue that popped right the fuck out of her
head and were rimmed with long, thick black eyelashes. Across her cheeks and nose is the most
adorable dusting of copper freckles. If that weren’t enough, hearing Nessie squeal at God knows
what (far be it from me to pay attention at this point) Claire throws her head back and laughs
with abandon, displaying dazzling teeth and…fuck me. I know I just caught a flash of stainless
steel in that tongue.

Before I let my mind run off with visions of what those lips and that tongue were surely capable
of, I take in the rest of her. She is wearing a simple gray tank top that allows a quick glimpse of
the black bra she’s wearing if she turned the right way. I of course now have to unabashedly gaze
at her chest. It should be illegal for tits like that to be on such a petite gal.

Oh yeah. Those are real.

Her black lace and ruffle skirt comes to just above her knees and she wore a pair of thick,
brushed stainless steel cuffs on her wrist.

Surely to match the bolt in her tongue.

Looking down at her feet I see she finished the whole ensemble off with a pair of black fucking
flip flops.

I’m proposing before the night is over.

I clear my throat and Jacob turns to look at me with eyes that are now glazed over.

“Uh, Jacob?” I then motion to both of the girls indicating that maybe an introduction might be
proper at this point.

Nessie giggles before releasing Jacob from the death grip of her thighs and turns to smile and
Emmett and I.

Jacob clears his throat and finally begins introductions.

“Renesmee, these are my roommates, Emmett,” the two of them shake hands briefly and
exchange how-do-you-dos, “and Jasper.”

My parents raised me to believe that it was impolite to simply shake hands with a girl when you
meet her; a lesson that Emmett clearly didn't learn. So I take her hand gently in mine and quickly
kiss her knuckles. “Pleasure, ma’am.”

Nessie merely smiles and turns her attention back to Jacob.

“And this is Renesmee’s cousin, Claire. Claire, meet Emmett and Jasper.”

Emmett shakes her hand briefly and not giving her a second thought, heads for the door with
Jacob and Nessie.

I of course, give her the same treatment I gave Nessie with just a little more sugar.

I take her hand in mine and press my lips firmly to her knuckles, lingering for just a bit.

“Extreme pleasure, ma’am.” I didn’t expect my voice to turn gravelly so quickly, but I couldn’t
help it.

I’m rewarded with a furious flush of her cheeks and a sweet, demure smile before I finally
release her hand.

“A true southern gentleman, I see,” she says with a wink.

I decide to pull out all the stops right now. And since it’s been a while since I’ve come on this
strongly to a woman, I was more than a bit nervous that she might just deck me.

“I don’t know about gentleman, ma’am. A true gentleman wouldn’t be entertaining the thoughts
that I am right now.” Now there was so much gravel in my voice that I could pave a fucking
driveway with it.

She takes in a quick breath and bites her bottom lip before responding; her voice now just as
gritty as mine.

“On the contrary, Jasper. In my opinion, a true gentleman would do more than just entertain
those thoughts.”

Fuck me. I’ve still got it.

She winked before grabbing my hand in hers, and pulling me to the door.

“Now let’s get going, sugar. I’m fucking starving!” she announces.

Is Tiffany’s open this late?

**********

A/N Ok, so Jasper’s throwing a fit right now. He’s acting out rashly, not unlike a small
child, because he can’t have his way. Instead of being a rational adult and having a much
needed discussion, he decides that the best course of action is to say, “Fuck it” and does
whatever he can think of to prove that he’s still a man.

I promise you, there’s still hope ;)

Last but not least….there you have the mystery character I’ve been alluding to for the past
few chapters. Now why the hell would I put Claire in there? First of all, I don’t care what
SM says…that whole imprinting on a two-year-old shit creeped me the fuck out. I wanted
to make her all grown up. Second of all I had personal reasons for dangling this chick in
front of Jasper….and I welcome any speculation (of course, being the transparent dumb
slut that I am, I’m sure it won’t be hard to figure out those personal reasons) as to what
they might be. (feel free to share on the Twilighted thread….link is on my profile page ;) )

As always, review! Pimp me out! If you want me to beg, I will…I’m getting pretty good at
it….


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Chapter: 10


A/N SM owns Twilight and all characters related to such. I just want to take em out
drinking and toss them all in bed together.

**********

I take her hand in mine and press my lips firmly to her knuckles, lingering for just a bit.

“Extreme pleasure, ma’am.” I didn’t expect my voice to turn gravelly so quickly, but I couldn’t
help it.

I’m rewarded with a furious flush of her cheeks and a sweet, demure smile before I finally
release her hand.

“A true southern gentleman, I see,” she says with a wink.

I decide to pull out all the stops right now. And since it’s been a while since I’ve come on this
strongly to a woman, I was more than a bit nervous that she might just deck me.

“I don’t know about gentleman, ma’am. A true gentleman wouldn’t be entertaining the thoughts
that I am right now.” Now there was so much gravel in my voice that I could pave a fucking
driveway with it.

She takes in a quick breath and bites her bottom lip before responding; her voice now just as
gritty as mine.

“On the contrary, Jasper. In my opinion, a true gentleman would do more than just entertain
those thoughts.”

Fuck me. I’ve still got it.

She winked before grabbing my hand in hers, and pulling me to the door.

“Now let’s get going, sugar. I’m fucking starving!” she announces.

Is Tiffany’s open this late?

**********

Heading out to the car, I notice an orange hunk of junk sitting at the curb pretending to be a
truck. The Florida license plate indicates that it’s Bella’s. I think my grandfather may have
owned the very same vehicle when he was my age.

Truthfully, it looked to be a charming piece of machinery but I have to wonder what kind of
shape it’s in now since she drove here all the way from Jacksonville. Regardless of the state of
her transportation, she was most likely gonna be hanging in Phoenix for a while. No telling
what’s gonna happen now with this baby in the picture.

Was she here for good?

Are they getting married?

Is she even gonna keep the baby?

I really don’t take her to be the kind of person to struggle with the idea of having an abortion. I
mean, if she was considering it, would she have driven all this way to share the news with
Edward?

If today were any indication, though, what I think certainly doesn’t mean shit. Today has been all
about shooting my perceptions of people to smithereens. And this includes my perception of
myself.

Regardless of how everything ended with Bella’s arrival, I still have to come to terms with the
fact that I experienced certain things with a man which I have only, to date, experienced with a
woman. To say I’m confused about how this shit makes me feel would be like saying that Arnold
Schwarzenegger was only a mildly humorous choice for the Governor of California.

It was only this afternoon that I told Mike that I was not into guys. And damn it, I meant it!
Leave it to Edward to rock my convictions off their foundation and twist me like he has.

Could I see myself in an intimate relationship with another man?

Shit. I need to pay attention. Claire just asked me if I’d like to sit with her for the ride over to
Hale’s.

I should probably answer.

“I wonder if that would be such a good idea. I mean, did you plan on leaving the vehicle with
your virtue in tact?”

She chuckled lightly. Then she fucking floored me. “What virtue?”

Where has this little freak been all my life?

I drape my arm across her shoulders and watch as Emmett and Jacob flip a coin for designated
driver. Last time we went out, the task fell on me, so I am left out of the coin toss.

Jacob wins the toss which means, of course, that Emmett gets the immense pleasure of being the
sober one out of our bunch. This also means now, that Emmett will be playing chauffeur and
riding up front all by his lonesome as Claire and I slip to the back leaving Jacob and Nessie to
settle in the middle row behind him.

“Shouldn’t I have a hat or something for this job?” Emmett asks as he starts up the vehicle.

Jacob raises his chin before answering with a poor excuse for a British accent. “To Hale’s good
sir, and make it snappy! Greasy hamburgers and French fries await us.”

“Here, here!” I shout.

Emmett turns his head to grin at us. “Fuck you guys. All of you.”

Cackling ensues and we finally begin our journey towards increasing bad cholesterol levels,
annihilating brain cells, and rupturing ear drums.

The ride to the diner was pretty uneventful. We were all engaged in mindless chit-chat and
despite my earlier comment, I was on my best behavior, save for the fact that I had my arm
draped around Claire and kept leaning in to inhale her scent.

She smells like a fucking birthday cake.

Taking one last whiff of her tresses, I murmur, “You smell like sweet frosting, darlin’.”

She said nothing, but the little smile and heated flush of her cheeks tell me all I need to hear.

Yep, I’ve still got it.

We arrive at Hale’s finding it packed to near capacity, which is pretty typical for a Friday night.
Miraculously we find a circular booth in the back of the diner and squeeze in; there’s barely

enough room for all of us.

It’s not long before Rosalie saunters over to take our orders and glancing up from her pad she
sees Emmett giving her his biggest smile.

If eyes could make a sound when they rolled, hers would sound like a fucking rock slide.

“So what’ll it be boys?” she asks, rocking back on the heels of her tennis shoes. After taking in
the rest of us in the booth, she continues. “Well, well, well. Someone’s missing and there are two
new additions.”

Emmett decides it’s his job to clarify. Either that or he’s just eager for any bit of conversation he
could draw out of Rosalie, since she’s hardly forthcoming.

“Yeah, Edward bowed out tonight. Bella’s in town.”

Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. And damn it all if Claire didn’t catch it. She indicates as such
by poking me in the ribs with her elbow and raising an eyebrow at me. I ignore it.

Rosalie looks at me and notices my arm across the back of the vinyl seat around Claire’s
shoulders.

“And you aren’t Alice,” she points out to Claire with a smirk.

“Christ, Rose. I thought you only had it in for Emmett,” I hissed. Never a good idea to bring up
another woman in this situation.

Thanks a fucking lot, Rosalie.

Claire turns to me with a semi-worried look on her face.

Great, here we go.

“Do I have to worry about Alice?” she asks as Rosalie snickers.

You’re so not getting a tip outta me tonight.

“Seriously? Is she the type to carry a weapon on her person? Because I don’t know if I….” her
voice drifts off as she starts to rummage through her purse.

“Aha! Never mind, I have a screwdriver. I’m good.”

What??

Now I have to laugh.

“Did you just say you have a screwdriver in your purse?” I ask. Now everyone’s eyes are on
Claire.

“Yep! Phillip’s head,” she declares, pulling said screwdriver from her purse and dangling it from
her fingers.

“Why….?” I can’t wait to hear this answer.

“Does it matter? Now I don’t have to worry if this Alice chick goes all I’m-gonna-boil-your-pet-
rabbit on us.”

Raucous laughter erupts from everyone at the table as I lean in to give her a loud, smacking kiss
on her cheek.

“I fucking love you, you know that?”

Rosalie, slightly miffed at her thwarted attempt to create some drama, begins to take our orders.

While everyone else is telling Rosalie what they want, I lean over to assure Claire that she,
indeed, has nothing to worry about with Alice.

“If anything, she’ll forget all about me and wanna take you home.”

To this she raises an eyebrow.

“Is she as hot as this one?” she asks indicating Rosalie with a nod of her head.

Rosalie looks up from her pad at Claire.

“Not even fucking close,” Emmett snorts.

Claire winks at her then turns to me. “Well, then you don’t have to worry about Alice either.”

Dear Lord. Is Rosalie blushing?

Snickers ensue and Rosalie sashays off to put in our orders.

During the course of our meal, I discover that Claire is the cake decorator at the dessert shop that
she operates with her mother.

Fucking adoreable.

“Well, that explains why you smell like a slice of birthday cake,” I say before leaning in and
smelling her hair again.

Delicious.

“That, or it could be the buttercream scented body spray,” she says with a wink.

Good Lord, they bottle that shit?

It’s not long before everyone’s full to the point of bursting and ready to head over to Midnight
Sun, but just as Jake and I start counting out bills to pay the tab, Emmett is smacked in the head
with a balled up piece of paper.

“What the fu….?” he starts to ask as he opens the ball of paper and begins to smooth it out.

His face breaks out in the goofiest fucking grin as he reads what’s written on it. He turns to look
towards the kitchen and I catch Rosalie throwing him a wink and ducking inside.

He does a little happy dance in his seat and punches the air with his fist.

“Fuckin’ score! I finally got her number!”

“Congratu-fricken-lations, man. It’s only taken you what? A year?” I ask, slapping him on the
back.

He ignores me as he whips out his cell phone and programs her number into his contact list.

Jake and I toss enough bills on the table to pay for everyone’s meals, Emmett’s included since
he’s designated driver. I notice that Emmett’s not paying attention because he is still lingering
over his cell phone.

“What are you doing, bro?” I ask, looking over his shoulder.

“Mind your fucking business, punk!” he replies, pushing me away.

I watch his cell phone come to life as he receives a text. As Emmett reads it, I see his face light
up and he covers his mouth, uttering a muffled, “Fuck me.”

“Dude, I don’t even wanna know,” I say with a chuckle as Claire and I slide out of the booth.

We leave the diner and pile back into the Trailblazer to drive over to Midnight Sun.

From there, the details are a bit fuzzy.

Why?

Apparently, I got totally shitfaced.

I remember hanging out with Claire at the downstairs bar waiting for the band to start their set.
She and I nursed a couple of Amber Bocks and shot the breeze about trivial, getting-to-know-you

kind of stuff.

I remember asking for her ring size when she told me that she was a huge fan of VAST*. I also
remember her kicking my ass in a game of 8-ball and giving Jake a run for his money with a
round of darts.

I’ve had several Amber Bocks at this point and, according to sources, more than one Captain and
Coke.

I briefly remember the band playing a few Incubus tunes and Claire and I singing along. I also
remember asking her why she was only drinking water when I offered to pay for her drinks.

The next thing I remember is getting into a cab with her and heading back to the house. I
couldn’t wrap my mind around why we were leaving the rest of the group behind and why she
wanted to take a cab when Emmett was our designated driver.

“Don’t you worry yourself, babe. I’m just gonna get you home and put you to bed,” Claire said.

“Put me to bed? Will you be joining me?” I raise my eyebrows suggestively to further my point.

“Jasper, I want you sober enough to remember such an occasion,” she said with a snicker,
leaning into me.

Fuck me. I struck out tonight after all.

We pull up to the curb outside of the house and my head nearly hits the ceiling as I feel Claire
reach into my pocket.

I guess she changed her mind.

Sadly, this is not the case. She locates my wallet and hands a few bills to the driver and tells him
to keep the change.

She turns to me and winks. “Since you didn’t get to pay for my drinks I figured you wouldn’t
mind paying for the cab.”

“I don’t mind paying for anything, darlin’, just as long as you put my wallet right back where
you found it.” My voice is totally slurred at this point.

Shut up, Jasper before you embarrass yourself further!

It takes a lot of effort to get out of the cab and stand upright. Claire senses this and puts one of
my arms around her shoulders and supports some of my weight while we walk up to the house.

It’s all I can do to remain standing and poor Claire is doing her best to hold me up while trying to
open the front door at the same time. As she struggles to turn the knob, the door is suddenly

yanked open from the inside and we nearly fall over the threshold. If Claire hadn’t cut off her
alcohol intake so early in the evening, I’m fairly certain that we would have done just that.

Edward is standing at the door wearing a pair of gray, drawstring sleep pants and a big ass smile.

“Uh oh,” he says chuckling as he gets on my other side to help Claire hold me up.

“Thanks, man. This one’s no meatball, but he ain’t no lightweight either!” Claire said, chuckling
with him.

Somehow, we make it to the staircase without me falling on my face and they all but toss me on
my ass onto the bottom step.

“Have a little too much fun tonight, John Wayne?” By now his chuckle has tapered off to a
snicker.

“Fuck you, Edward,” I slur.

“Edward?” Claire asks.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m Edward. One of Sir-Drink-A-Lot’s roommates,” he says, extending his
hand to her.

Claire grasps his hand and gives it a firm shake.

“I’m Claire. And seeing you now explains a hell of a lot,” she replies with a smirk.

Edward cocks his head to the side and flashes that fucking crooked grin at her. I have to interrupt
this shit.

“Oh, no you don’t. Don’t even think about dazzling this one. I’ll have to kick your ass.”

Edward scoffs at me then turns back to Claire.

“Apparently Jazz thinks I have a habit of dazzling people. I’m not sure if there’s any truth to
that.”

Fuck my life.

“Oh, I can definitely see the potential,” she replies with a grin.

Potential? Does that mean she wasn’t automatically drawn in? With the way I’ve been such a
jackass over the course of our evening together, I am almost certain that just the slightest smooth
move out of Edward would have her wanting to jump in his bed in a goddamn heartbeat.

Regardless, I know I’m not getting any tonight and all I want to do is go the fuck to bed and

finally sleep. I knew I should have taken that nap this afternoon. Damn my fucking curiosity.

“Come on, cowboy, let’s get you to bed,” Claire says, gently taking my arm to pull me up.

Edward’s eyes dart back and forth between her and I while a look of concern crosses his face.

“Are you two…” He can’t seem to finish the sentence.

I look at him with a crooked smirk of my own. I would kill to know what he’s thinking right now
and I can only hope that his gut and his heart are as wrenched as mine have been since Bella
arrived today.

Claire hesitates before answering, giving us each a cautious look.

I know it’s wrong of me to leave her on the spot like that, but all I can manage to do is look at
her questioningly, waiting for her to respond to Edward’s incomplete question.

“Jasper had a little too much to drink and rather than make the rest of the group head home early,
I offered to get a cab to bring us back here. I’m planning on taking Nessie’s car back home, since
I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be spending the night here.”

God hates me. I’m pretty sure of it now.

Edward scratches the back of his head for a moment, seemingly unsatisfied with her answer. And
far be it from me to speak up at this point. I’m pretty sure whatever comes out of my mouth
won’t help the situation any.

“Um..okay. Well, how much have you had to drink tonight? Are you gonna be okay to drive
home?”

“I only had two beers. Last one was going on two hours ago, so I’m fine,” she replied.

“Okay then. Well, let’s get drunk boy up to bed now shall we?” he asks with his smile back in
place.

Edward turns around, giving his back to me and hunkers down into a crouch.

“Okay, John Wayne. Hop on.”

No fucking way is he gonna give me a piggy-back ride up the stairs.

“Dude, I’m not riding you up the stairs.”

Edward snickers before replying. “Would you rather ride me somewhere else then?”

Claire snorts and all I can do is mentally slap myself for leaving my comment wide open like

that.

“Get on or I’ll just sweep you off your feet and carry you up like a girl. You know I’m capable of
doing it.”

Not sure which option would be more embarrassing, I opt for the fucking piggy back-ride. It
takes me three fricken tries to successfully climb on his back and hold on.

He slowly stands up and shifts me around a bit to get comfortable. Of course, in doing so, my
dick starts to respond in the most embarrassing way possible; swelling in my jeans and pressing
right into Edward’s back. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything about it, but I’m pretty sure he can
feel it since he looks at me out of the corner of his eye and his cheeks flush slightly.

His bare skin is so fucking warm and soft that it’s all I can do not to bury my nose in the crook of
his neck and inhale deeply. Unconsciously, however, my arms clasp the tiniest bit tighter around
his shoulders and I sigh.

I can see Edward smile and bite his lip as he turns his head to look at me. “Shall we?”

I concede, pressing my face into his shoulder and nodding. I mentally slap myself again because
now I definitely can’t help but indulge in breathing in his scent.

“I’m gonna head out then. Good night, you two!” Claire calls out.

My head snaps around. “Wait, don’t go!”

Edward stiffens and stops mid step. After a moment he smiles and I know I’m fucked.

“Yeah. Don’t go just yet, I’m sure I’m gonna need help getting this boy undressed.”

Oh, I don’t fucking think so.

I can only pray that I drop my voice to a low enough whisper that she doesn’t hear me.

“What are you trying to do? Don’t you think one threesome is enough for one day?”

He whispers back to me, “It’s two in the morning. It’s a new day, Jasper.” He snickers, causing
his chest to vibrate under my hands.

I’m sure he can feel my heart pounding against his back.

“Okay then, boys. Let’s get this show on the road,” Claire replies, falling in step behind us up the
stairs.

“Yes, let’s,” Edward chuckles.

Fuck. My. Life.

Once we get up to my room, Edward turns around at the edge of my bed and lowers me gently to
the mattress.

Claire heads over to my dresser without giving us a second look. Apparently she is not on the
same page as Edward. I can’t decide whether this is a good or bad thing.

“What do you wear to bed, Jasper? And where can I find it?” she asks.

“He sleeps in his boxers,” Edward answers.

I mouth the words, “No, I don’t!” to him.

He mouths back, “You do now,” with the most devious smile.

Sweet Christ, I don’t know if I can handle this tonight.

I’m lying on my back on the bed with my hips at the edge of the mattress, my feet dangling off
the edge almost touching the floor.

I feel Claire hop on the other side of the bed and crawl towards me.

“Sit up, cowboy. You shouldn’t be lying flat on your back anyway with as much as you’ve had
to drink.”

She positions herself behind me, reaches her arms under my own, and pulls me back toward her
until the backs of my knees hit the edge of the mattress.

I’m helpless to give her any assistance. My heart is pounding out of my chest and my stomach is
churning.

This really isn’t a good idea.

She gently pulls me into a half sitting position with my head leaning against her shoulder and my
arms supporting some of my weight. In this position, she’s able to remove my vest and toss it to
the side on the bed. She tugs the hem of my shirt out of my jeans and starts to undo the buttons.

I feel Edward pull my boots and socks off and my breath catches as he positions himself between
my knees and starts to unbuckle my belt.

Upon hearing my reaction, Claire’s hands cease movement and her breaths make a staccato
rhythm in my ear.

Edward, however, hasn’t stopped what he was doing. He has already successfully removed my
belt, unbuttoned, and unzipped my jeans. He struggles trying to slide them off me. From my

position, however, it’s difficult for me to lift my hips and I start to tell him to forget about it and
to just leave me alone to sleep in my jeans.

This really isn’t a good idea.

“Can you lift your hips, Jazz?” Edward asks.

“Not without sliding off the bed, fucker.” Amazingly enough, I’m not slurring as badly as I was
earlier. It’s taking everything I possess to remain focused for….God only knows what. All I want
to do is fucking sleep, but now it’s becoming more and more apparent that my dick has other
plans.

“Well, I guess it’s up to me then,” he says with a smirk.

This can’t be good.

He grasps my hips and lifts my ass off the mattress before pulling me square against his groin.

And now it goes without saying that his dick has other plans as well.

I’m fuckdrunk and trying to balance nearly all of my weight on my arms on a mattress with my
crotch all but grinding into Edward’s erection. Without my knowledge, precedence was set
yesterday. I can see from now on that there will be no limit to how many times Jasper Cullen can
put himself in awkward positions, literally and figuratively.

“Can you wrap your legs around my waist, Jasper? I can probably get your jeans over your ass
that way.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Or I could just stand up, Edward.”

“Now what fun would that be?” he replies with a smirk.

Claire has still said nothing since Edward started unbuckling my jeans. Nor have her hands
moved from their place on my shirt. From my vantage point, I have no idea if she’s stunned,
disgusted, or excited. Or maybe she just might want to get the fuck home and get some sleep.

I decide since I can’t stand up with Edward holding me like this, and it’s not likely he’ll let me
go without doing something to piss me off, I oblige his obviously horny whim and wrap my legs
around his waist and squeeze his hips with my thighs.

It’s clear that he didn’t expect me to be quite so enthusiastic as he furrows his brow and let’s a
breath out in a gush before swallowing hard. After a brief moment he reaches his hands further
underneath me and grabs my ass instead of just my hips and hitches me up slightly on his waist.
Doing so causes me to rub up the length of his cock and forces my jeans and boxers to tug
against the head of mine. My arms nearly give out on me as I gasp from the insanely erotic
contact.

I forget briefly that Claire is in the room until she resumes unbuttoning my shirt.

Finally Edward moves to pull my jeans off my hips and then pulls my legs from around his waist
to lower me back onto the mattress. He then tugs my jeans off and tosses them in the hamper.

With my shirt now completely unbuttoned, Claire slides it slowly off my shoulders and it pools
on the mattress. I alternate leaning to each side to free my hands and she tosses the shirt on the
bed beside my vest.

“You okay, back there?” I ask her.

“Just fine, Jasper. Are you?” she whispers against my ear. I tremble at the contact and nod in
response.

Is this really a good idea?

“I don’t think this would be such a good idea, y’all,” Claire sighs.

Edward’s head snaps up to look at her. “I’m sorry. Are you offended? I…uh…” he stammered.

Claire chuckles. “You didn’t offend me, trust me. Under different circumstances, I would
definitely be on board, but Jasper here is looking a bit green around the gills and I doubt any
sudden movements would do him any good.”

Edward purses his lips and regards me. “You’re probably right.”

Claire clasps her arms around my chest before speaking low in my ear. “It is a shame though,
since he’s so responsive. Even in this state.”

Edward hops onto the bed beside me, facing the opposite direction.

“He certainly is responsive. No doubt about that,” he says, winking at me.

I finally understand what people mean when they say that guys think with their dicks. Not that I
let mine make all my decisions for me, that’s really not the case. However, right now, the head
on my shoulders didn’t have any plans that involve what I was about to say or do. I’m certain my
dick was in complete control at the moment.

“Responsive, huh? I’ll show you responsive.”

The words have barely left my mouth when I grab the back of Edward’s head and jerk him
towards me for a kiss. He gasps then responds by pressing into me and grabbing the back of my
head as well. Almost instantly our mouths part and my tongue plunges into his mouth causing
him to groan deeply. I angle my head to deepen our kiss as I tease Edward’s tongue with my
own.

Fuck it. Fuck it all.

Fuck Bella and her circumstances, fuck Edward becoming a father, and fuck wanting to sleep
tonight. My stomach upset will pass, I’m sure, but there is no way I’m willing to get rid of my
hard-on all by myself tonight.

“Mmmm…Edward,” I hum, pulling away briefly.

“I want you. Both of you.” I grasp one of Claire’s hands and kiss her palm before placing it on
Edward’s cheek.

Turning my head to look at her, I ask, “What do you say, darlin’?”

She nuzzles my neck and her voice is barely above a whisper in my ear. “Jasper, do you really
think this is a good idea?”

I answer her with a nip at her jaw and she reflexively turns her head towards me. I take
advantage by capturing her lips with mine. She whimpers against my mouth and I smile in
response.

She pulls away to look at Edward and I see he’s sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. He then
leans over me and I watch him hesitate briefly before kissing Claire. I can see her tongue dart
into his mouth and I hear his sharp intake of breath as he discovers that she and I have similar
tastes in body art.

He chuckles against her and whispers huskily, “What is it with you kids and your tongue rings?”

Edward reaches up with one hand and places it on my cheek, brushing his thumb against my lips.
He continues to kiss Claire in front of me and he gasps as I suck his thumb into my mouth and
press the ball bearing of my tongue ring into the pad.

I suck his thumb deeper into my mouth earning a moan from Edward. Claire giggles at his
reaction.

Wait. Something's not right. Oh, no.

All of a sudden my stomach lurches and I sit bolt upright; nearly pushing Edward off of the bed.

“Oh, God…” I moan.

With superhuman speed, Edward grabs my wastebasket from under my desk and thrusts it into
my waiting hands as I proceed to empty my stomach contents.

Claire sighs and rubs my back as I continue to embarrass myself further with a fit of dry heaves
after the alcohol is gone.

“I won’t even say it, sugar,” she murmurs.

After several gasps for breath, I manage a hoarse, “Thank you.” I am so not in the mood to be
playing the I-Told-You-So game right now.

Satisfied that I can stand up without heaving again, I start to make my way towards the
bathroom. I hear the padding of Edward’s bare feet across the floor and the tell-tale sound of
Claire’s flip flops as they follow me down the hall.

Do they think I’ll get lost or something?

I start to protest as Edward follows me into the bathroom, taking the wastebasket from me.
“I’ll take care of this, Jazz. You do what you need to do.”

“Dude, this is embarrassing.”

“Cut the shit, man. You’re my boy and you’ve done the same for me.”

I chance a glance at Claire leaning against the door frame.

“You gonna be alright, hon?” she asks. I wholeheartedly expected her to be kinda pissy about the
whole thing. I mean, talk about the ultimate disgusting cockblock. I’m pleasantly surprised to see
that she is actually genuinely concerned.

“I’ll be fine,” I tell her as I start brushing my teeth.

After rinsing about a dozen times, I lean back against the sink and hang my head.

“I’m so sorry y’all. I know that was pretty shitty.”

Edward slaps my back and Claire smiles sweetly.

“No worries, man. Happens to the best of us. Something like that is never timed well,” Edward
assures me.

“You really should get some sleep, Jazz. You’ll feel so much better,” Claire assures.

I can only nod my head in response.

She reaches out to take my hand and leads me back to the bedroom.

I sit on the edge of the bed and she kisses the top of my head before giving me a surprisingly big
hug for a girl with her frame.

“I already put my number in your cell. Call anytime, Jasper. I mean it, okay?”

Again, I can only nod in response to her inquiry.

Edward pokes his head in the doorway. “Come on, sweetie. I’ll walk you to your car.”

I make to stand up and walk her to her car myself but my whole body feels like a clumsy brick
pile.

“Get under those covers and get to sleep, sugar. Remember to call me if you need me,” Claire
reminds me with a wink.

Edward comes forward and squeezes my shoulder before leaning in to whisper in my ear.

“I won't be long. I want to talk with you when I come back.”

The two of them leave the room without further ceremony and I pull back the comforter and
sheets on my bed and slip beneath the covers. Edward's little talk is gonna have to wait because
within moments, I'm in a deep slumber.

**********

A/N So….Jasper didn’t propose to Claire and and he got drunk as a skunk instead. And as
badly as I wanted to continue that threesome, I just couldn’t deny the laws of alcohol
physics. Liquor on top of beer plus lots of movement……that could not possibly ever end
well. So for the sake of logic….Jazz, well…you read it, no need to rehash :)

*VAST is a fuckawesome band. I posted a couple youtube links on page 8 of the Twilighted
thread (link on my profile) for your listening and viewing pleasure;)

PSA Time: When you go out drinking, call a cab or use a designated driver, every time.
There is no excuse for drunk driving, I don't care how well you think you can hold your
liquor. In addition, take care of your designated driver. If you're eating, pay for their meal,
if you're going to a club, pay for their cover and soft drinks. It's the least you can do since
that person is making sure you get home safe.

Thanks again for the incredible reviews! I read each and every one and try my damndest to
respond to them all. There was no FFnet fail in the review department the last time around,
but sometimes my eyes get crossed when I try to respond to a review and…well…let’s just
say that I’m a certain kind of special and things may not work like they’re supposed to.


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Chapter: 11

A/N As usual, SM owns fricken everything, and I own nothing. Nothing save for the mind to
school her characters in the fine art of fellatio….

A lot of you will be absolutely thrilled to know that I now have a beta. Actually, I have two,
since someone couldn’t resist the pull to spill the blood of innocent muppets on my chapter
*snicker*. So thanks go to Dark Absynthe and Touchstone67 for helping this chapter suck
less (well, at least suck less where it shouldn’t ;) )

Now….about that little chat everyone’s so anxious for…….

**********

“Get under those covers and get to sleep, sugar. Remember to call me if you need me,” Claire
reminds me with a wink.

Edward comes forward and squeezes my shoulder before leaning in to whisper in my ear.

“I won’t be long. I want to talk with you when I come back.”

The two of them leave the room without further ceremony and I pull back the comforter and
sheets on my bed and slip beneath the covers. Edward's little talk is gonna have to wait because
within moments, I'm in a deep slumber.

**********

I sit up in bed, squinting at the sunlight pouring in through my window. Tossing back the covers
and standing, I’m fucking amazed at the total lack of hangover. No headache, no nausea, no
clothes.

Wait.

I’m in my boxers.

I don’t sleep in my boxers.

My mind flickers to an image of Edward mouthing the words, “You do, now!”

Oh, fuck.

I start to recall bits and pieces of what took place before I fell asleep and I can’t wrap my mind
around it.

Piggy-back ride. Claire and Edward undressing me. Kissing Edward. Kissing Claire. Edward
kissing Claire.

Shit. What kind of fucktard am I?

On top of that, I recall Edward saying that he was coming back to my room to talk after he saw
Claire to the door. I don’t know if he tried to wake me up after that.

Truthfully, I don’t even care.

I can’t continue doing this. By entertaining foolish whims like last night, or fuck, all day
yesterday, I’m only making it harder on myself. Bella needs Edward right now. Edward needs to
grow the fuck up. I need to move on and forget this ever happened.

And let’s not forget Claire. Christ, is there gonna be any fixing that? She must think I’m a
complete ass right now.

I make my way to the door trying to scrub the sleep out of my eyes and decide that at this point,
a shower would be the best course of action. My senses are dulled, but I can imagine that I smell
nothing like a basket of fucking roses. That being the case, I shuffle my tired ass to the bathroom
and after tossing my boxers into the hamper, climb into the shower. Making the water as hot as I
can stand it, I lean my head against the tile wall beneath the spray and let the scalding water
pound my shoulders and back.

As I begin to scrub the grime and self-loathing from my body, my thoughts drift back to last
night.

My intent was to get Edward out of my system. I couldn’t allow myself to get any more invested
in him after the complications that Bella’s arrival presented. He has different responsibilities now
and if he’s not going to make the decision to step up and be a man and instead, continue to be the
player he is, then I was gonna have to take myself out of the equation for him. I didn’t want to
come between the two of them and I certainly didn’t want this to affect our friendship.

Besides, the easiest way to ruin a friendship was to turn it into something more. Whether it’s
something simple like a one night stand or something more complicated like a full blown
romantic relationship.

We can’t have that now, can we?

Claire presented the perfect opportunity to at least take my mind off of him.

A hell of a lot of good it did when we had gotten home though. Meeting Edward at the door
aggravated me at first with the way he was all fucking grins and chuckles laughing at my socially
retarded state. But I was done for when he roped me into that fucking piggy-back ride.

To my chagrin, I start to grow hard at the thought. This will definitely not help matters.

Blatantly ignoring my “problem”, I turn off the water and step out of the shower.

I still can’t make sense of what’s happened between Edward and I. He certainly made it seem
like he was into me and had been for quite a while. However, I have to remind myself to take
that bit of information with a grain of salt given his promiscuous nature. In the course of twenty-
four hours, he’s had intimate contact with Mike Newton, me, Alice, Claire…and well, I would
certainly hope he didn’t try anything with Bella. I doubt he’s that much of a slut.

Why am I over-thinking this shit?

I just had a mindfuck of a day. Nothing’s different. I’m still the same man.

I’m putting my foot down now. Edward dazzled me, plain and simple. I’ve never been attracted
to other men. I was just confused, that’s all. Nothing’s different.

I. Am. Not. Gay.

I’m gonna call Claire and see if she ever wants to see me again and try to apologize for what
happened last night. If she’s not interested, I’ll just move the fuck on.

Then I’m gonna apologize to Edward and confess my lapse in judgment. And then we’ll both
move the fuck on.

I dry off and wrap the towel around my waist, standing in front of the mirror.

What the…?

There appears to be a sticker on the mirror. I lean forward to get a closer look and see that the
sticker is a fucking rainbow.

Who the hell would put this shit on the mirror? I try to pull it off but it’s stuck. I then try to
scratch it off with my nail, but it’s like it’s been superglued.

Whatever. I need to get dressed, so I’m not about to worry about kiddy stickers on the fricken
bathroom mirror.

I try to cinch my towel tighter and suddenly I’m brought back to the reality that I still have a
“problem”. Guess I’ll have to take care of that before I get dressed.

Upon leaving the bathroom, I literally slam into Edward in the hallway wearing a big fucking
smile on his face.

How the hell can he be so fucking chipper?

Oh yeah. That’s right. I’m wearing nothing but a towel and sporting a semi. Fuck my life.

If that’s not bad enough, I’m dazzled all over again.

“I was just looking for you, Jazz. We need to talk.”

I can’t help but sigh and try to remember the pep talk I was just giving myself in the bathroom.

Swallowing hard, I say the words that need to be said, “I just want to forget yesterday ever
happened.”

No I don’t! I’m lying! I’m a goddamn liar! Call me on it, I fucking dare you!

Edward staggers back a few steps, pain and confusion contorting his face.

“I don’t understand, Jasper.”

“What’s there to understand? We’re friends, Edward. That’s it. Things got weird, but I’m past
that.” I can only hope my words have as much conviction as I want them to.

Edward’s eyes dart all around the hallway, touching on everything but me as he processes this
information.

“When you said you wanted to take this thing slow…exactly how slow were you thinking?
‘Cause I thought that meant you didn’t just want to jump into a physical relationship. Now I’m
starting to think you were just being…I don’t know…polite? Well, you know I don’t do polite,
Jazz. I’d rather you just be up front with me instead of just fucking stringing me along.” I can tell
he’s getting pissed. His chest is heaving and his nostrils are flaring.

Fuck. I want him. What kind of man would that make me if I told him that right now? What kind
of friend would that make me, knowing this shouldn’t be going any further?

I have to end this conversation now. I’m still damp from my shower and my towel is clinging
precariously to my hips. I’m afraid to move my hand to grasp it and keep it from slipping, but
I’m sure in doing so, the movement would catch Edward’s eye and bring his attention to my
growing erection.

What has Edward done to me that makes it impossible for me to tame this fucking monster?

“Edward, there isn’t a thing,” I sigh when I really want to cry. “You and I have different
priorities. I don’t have time in my life for any complications.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Jasper?” he growls.

“It means that I don’t want what happened between us to ruin close to two decades of friendship.
It means that we need to step back and see what’s really important. It means that you need to
forget this shit ever happened.”

It would be so much easier if one of us could.

His head hangs for a moment before responding. Moments later he raises his head to look at me
and I see deep green pools of bitter sorrow that quickly cloud over with vehement anger.

“What exactly does she do for you, Jazz? Does she make you hard as a rock with just a look?
Did she offer to fuck you nine ways from Sunday once you got home? Or maybe she…”

“That’s enough, Masen. We just met for Christ’s sake but I won’t stand here and let you talk
about her like she’s just some sleazy piece of ass.”

“Well, for just meeting her, you were pretty gung-ho to get her into bed last night. Or was that
simply to get a rise out of me? You said you fucking wanted me, Jasper. Did you want her
more?” he snaps.

I admit, deep down, at first I wanted to turn his green eyes just a little bit greener. I’m kinda
pissed at myself, now that I did. I’m pissed because I used Claire like that and pissed that it
worked, because I can see now that it inflicted more damage than I wanted.

Still I couldn’t help the next two words that slipped out of my mouth.

“Jealous, Edward?” I asked.

Edward bites his bottom lip and looks up at the ceiling as if momentarily lost in thought.

“I probably would be except for the fact that I’m sure she doesn’t have quite the same effect on
you that I do.” He follows this statement with a lick of lips, his tongue barely slipping out of his
mouth before moistening the full, pink flesh. If his intention was to make it vividly erotic, he
nailed it.

He has me so fucking twisted at this moment, I can’t think of any other way to respond then to
just tell him to go to hell and hope he leaves.

I grasp the doorknob to my bedroom before doing just that, “Go to hell, Edward.”

He steps back, momentarily stunned. He then narrows his eyes. “You know what, Jasper? You
can fucking blow me, asshole!” he hisses.

I had every intention of turning my back on him and entering my room to slam the door in his
face. Instead, I snap.

Big mistake.

I grab the front of his t-shit in my fist and drag him close enough for me to feel his shocked
breaths bathe my face.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Edward? You’re just pissed because you want my lips wrapped

around your cock. You wanna see just how good my tongue feels against your skin, don’t you?”

I then make a point to lick my lips in the same manner he did just moments before. Only I make
damned sure he sees my tongue ring when I do it.

A low moan escapes his mouth and I release him from my grip.

I have to put a closed door between us now, before I truly lose it.

I leave him standing there, bewildered, as I open the door into my room and slam it for effect. I
then lean against it and rub my eyes with the heels of my hands.

Before I step away from the door and make a move to get dressed, I hear Edward mutter the
words that throw all my good intentions out the window.

“Fucking cock tease.”

I spin back around and whip the door open to see him still standing there. The motion causes him
to jump, as I’m pretty sure he hadn’t intended for me to hear that damning comment.

Not even thinking, I grab him by the shirt again and yank him inside my bedroom and shut the
door. As if his eyes weren’t big enough from shock, I decide to shove him forcefully against the
door and press the entire length of my body flush against his.

His eyes grow to the size of saucers right before squeezing shut as I angle my hips to press my
erection into his thigh.

I rest my cheek against his and growl in his ear. “I’m sorry. Did you just call me a cock tease? I
have to say I resent that because I fancy myself a man who puts his money where his mouth is.”

He takes a shuddering breath through his nose before releasing it through his mouth; his entire
body shivering with the effort.

After a few deep breaths he finally finds his voice, “If that’s the case, then why don’t you prove
it?”

I tighten the grip I have on his t-shirt before pulling back to look in his eyes.

Raising an eyebrow, I challenge him to clarify his request.

He voice grows firmer, more dominant.

“You heard me. Get on your fucking knees, Jasper and prove it.” His hands are already at his
belt, hastily working the buckle open.

Fuck it.

I swiftly drop to my knees, keeping my eyes locked on his as I grasp his hands and pull them
away from his pants. I then take over, popping the button above his fly and slowly drawing the
zipper down.

Edward’s hands dart to his head as he grips handfuls of his own hair and gazes down at me with
hooded eyes.

As I maintain his gaze, I try to tell him without words that I want him to forget everything I said
in the hall. I don’t want to forget what happened yesterday. I do want him. All of him. He may
belong to Bella, but I will gladly take whatever fraction of himself that he gives me. Even if it’s
just this.

I tug harshly at his jeans until they are resting on his thighs. Following suit with his white boxer
briefs, I pull them down just enough to free his straining cock. I slide my hands up the taut skin
of his chiseled belly underneath his t-shirt before charting the deep “V” of his hips with my
tongue. I make sure to press the ball bearing of my tongue ring into his flesh and, in turn, cause
Edward to arch his body into my mouth and emit a sharp hiss.

I pull back to take in the sheer beauty that is this man’s erection. It’s standing proudly at
attention, pointing towards his navel. An intricate network of veins work their way around the
shaft, visibly straining to pump blood to keep him at full mast.

Looking at the head of his glorious cock I can see that Edward is just as twisted with sexual need
as I am. It’s a dark rose, a nearly purple color with droplets of precum in small pearls
surrounding the slit. Just below the head is a prominent frenulum, begging to be licked.

And I am all too happy to oblige.

I can’t recall ever feeling this much wanton desire for a woman. If this is what Edward wants, I'll
give it to him for as long, and as often, as he wants it.

I grip his hips with my hands and drag the flat of my tongue up the entire length of his cock from
the base to the head, planting a kiss on the silken skin of the glans; slick with his desire. I chance
a look up at Edward to gauge his reaction.

He has pulled up his t-shirt, exposing his sculpted abs. His other hand remains in his hair. His
brow is furrowed, eyes are nearly shut, and his lips form a soft “O”; heavy breaths falling on me
with every exhale.

I’ve done this to him. He’s this turned on because of me.

I give him my biggest fucking grin just before I suck the head of his cock into my mouth,
swiping the slit with my tongue. I release him with an audible “pop” and he gasps.

“Oh fuck.”

I smile once more before taking him in my mouth again. This time I work to take in as much of
his length as possible. My mouth deliberately descends towards the base until the head hits the
back of my throat, making me gag. I come back up for a breath and try again to take in his entire
length. When I feel the head hit the back of my throat again, I relax my muscles minutely and
slowly slide my lips to the base of his cock.

I can think of no other place I’d rather be right now than on my knees for him.

Edward reaches down with one hand to stroke my hair.

“Fucking. Amazing.”

He whimpers my name as I slowly work my way back up to the head, sucking hard enough to
hollow my cheeks. With a swipe of my tongue across the head, I swallow his cock once again.

Both of his hands are in my hair now. I expect him to make fists in my curls, but instead, he
caresses me reverently.

“Perfect. Absolutely beautiful, Jasper,” he murmurs.

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

And I’m fucking enjoying it.

I begin to bob my head in a brisk rhythm on his cock and the sounds falling from his lips have
officially brought my semi into a full blown hard on. Reaching down, I slip one hand beneath my
towel, causing it to open and fall to the floor. Now I am kneeling naked before Edward, his dick
in my mouth and I’m stroking myself.

This is so fucking surreal.

Looking up at Edward I see that he’s now smiling at me. Suddenly he bites his bottom lip and
lets go of my head with one hand, lowering it to my shoulder.

Giving my shoulder a good shake he says, “Jasper. Wake up.”

I halt my movements.

Huh?

“Wake up, Jazz. Hey!” He emphasizes the last word with a gentle pat to my cheek.

I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment and open them again.

I’m in bed and Edward is shaking me awake. Glancing at my window, I see absolutely no

sunlight. Confusion starts to set in until I look at my digital alarm clock on the bedside table. It
tells me it’s a few minutes shy of four in the morning.

It was a dream.F

I look down to see that I kicked the covers off and my hand is in my fucking boxers.

Shit, shit, shit!

I quickly withdraw my hand and rub my eyes.

“Hey,” I say, sleepily.

Edward snickers. “You okay? You were moaning and talking up a storm so I came in here to
check on you and, well…” his voice trails off, thankfully.

Totally fucking embarrassing.

“I…um…brought you something. Figured you might need it.” He holds out a glass of water in
one hand and a couple of ibuprofen in the other.

I sit up and immediately wish I hadn’t.

“Holy fuck! Sweet Jesus, my head!”

I lean forward holding my head in my hands. Edward pries one of my hands from my head to put
the pain tablets in it. I look at the tablets grudgingly, not sure if I’m going to be able to swallow,
let alone keep them down. I finally relent and toss them in my mouth before taking the glass of
water from Edward and chugging the contents.

“Easy there, you don’t want to throw that up,” Edward warns.

I most certainly do not.

Edward is sitting on my bed next to me and I can’t help but lean my head on his shoulder. He
wraps an arm around me and gives me a gentle squeeze.

I snicker to myself as I remember a very similar situation that occurred when we were twelve
years old.

“What’s so funny?” Edward asks with a smile.

“Total flashback, dude.” I look up at him and with my best drunk cartoonish voice, I say, “I love
you maaaan!”

Edward throws his head back and laughs so hard that his body shakes around me. I can’t help but

join in his laughter, recalling that incident nine years ago.

We were playing video games in my bedroom after swiping a six pack of Coors from my parents.
We thought we were so slick knocking back some beers and playing Sonic the Hedgehog until we
realized why kids our age shouldn’t be drinking the shit. We got fucking plastered and Edward
got sick as hell. All over my bathroom.

I freaked out trying to tend to him and clean up the mess so my parents wouldn’t find out just
what we’d been up to. It didn’t matter though since our parents had ESP or some shit and
figured it out. Either that, or the fact that we were hungover at three on a Saturday afternoon
and reeked of beer clued them in.

After I finished cleaning up the mess, and Edward’s stomach was officially empty, I sat on the
cool tile floor of the bathroom with him and cradled his head in my lap. When he was finally able
to catch a breath, he looked up to me and slurred, “I love you maaaan.”

“My dad tore my ass up that evening. But, looking back, fuck that was funny!” Edward says,
laughing.

“Yeah. I was grounded for a month. Quite thoroughly, too, since they emptied my room of
everything but my bed and dresser.”

I close my eyes and absently sink into Edward’s half-embrace. I don’t even realize what I’m
doing until I feel Edward gently press his lips to the top of my head.

At his display of affection, I feel a tight squeeze in my chest and that buzz of electricity again. I
stifle a moan before sitting upright.

I can’t keep putting this off.

“Edward, we really should talk.”

Edward immediately straightens up and turns to me. “You sure you wanna do this now? It’s the
middle of the night. I can wait till dawn if you want,” he snickers.

“This can’t wait any longer.”

All traces of mirth are erased from Edward’s face as he absorbs the seriousness of my statement.

“Okay.”

“Edward, I am so sorry for all that’s happened…”

“Shit, last night? You were drunk, Jasper. I, of all people, am not going to hold that against
you…”

“Let me finish, please.”

Edward’s mouth shuts closed with an audible snap.

“I’m sorry about everything. I shouldn’t have led you on. I got carried away several times and I
shouldn’t have. This can’t continue, Edward. I’m too scared it may ruin our friendship and I love
you too much to want to risk that. On top of that, we both have plenty of things going on and,
I’m just not ready for something like this.”

Edward shakes his head, confused. “Not ready for what? A relationship with another man? What
difference does it make?”

“I meant what I said to Mike yesterday, Edward. I’m really not into guys. I just got carried away,
that’s all. I shouldn’t have.”

“Not into guys? Carried away? Jasper, you could have fooled me. Or did I just imagine your
erection every time I touched you?” Now he’s starting to get angry. “You can’t tell me there’s
nothing there, Jasper.” The anger gives way to hurt.

“Edward, please. I’ve been beyond confused….”

“No, no. I get it. Forget it. Let’s just forget it.” He hops off the bed and makes his way to the
door.

Looking back at me he lets his voice drop to just above a whisper, “Friends, right?”

“Of course. Always.” God, I didn’t want to hurt him like this. This is the last thing I wanted.

But this is what’s best for all of us. Edward needs to get his head in the game for Bella. I need to
let them get their shit together.

I need to forget the effect Edward has on me.

I flop backwards onto the bed and take several deep breaths. Tears start to form in my eyes and I
try desperately to will them away.

Moments later, I hear Edward downstairs.

He’s at the piano and that heartache of a song drifts to my ears.

Clutching my aching chest, I let the tears fall at will.

**********

A/N So…who hates me? :D

Review! Pimp! Please, please, please? Would it help to know I’m on my knees? *snicker*


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Chapter: 12


A/N Usual Disclaimer.....SM owns Twilight and all related characters. I own the laptop that
allows me to spin twisted tales that have nothing to do with her storyline, but allow me to
play with her pretty boys...

Oh...and I own a possessed, antiquated commercial mixer and a recipe for some fucktastic
lemon muffins ;)

Final disclaimer.... www(dot)tshirthell(dot)com owns the design for Edward's t-shirt in this
chapter (direct link on profile). If you like t-shirts that make others wonder, "WTF is
wrong with you??!!", check them out...they're fucking epic.

Thanks, of course go to two of my favorite ladies, Dark Absynthe and Touchstone67 for
being such awesome betas and refusing to let me run rampant with pronoun fail;) And
speaking of these two....they have very recently proven that they can not only talk the talk
but they can definitely walk the walk! Be sure to check out Dark Absynthe's The Italian
Job and Touchstone67's Safe and Sound and tell the ladies just how fabulous they are!!

**********

Looking back at me he lets his voice drop to just above a whisper, “Friends, right?”

“Of course. Always.” God, I didn’t want to hurt him like this. This is the last thing I wanted.

But this is what’s best for all of us. Edward needs to get his head in the game for Bella. I need to
let them get their shit together.

I need to forget the effect Edward has on me.

I flop backwards onto the bed and take several deep breaths. Tears start to form in my eyes and I
try desperately to will them away.

Moments later, I hear Edward downstairs.

He’s at the piano and that heartache of a song drifts to my ears.

Clutching my aching chest, I let the tears fall at will.

**********

I don’t know how long I lie awake in bed after Edward leaves. Long enough for the tears to dry
and for the sun to show itself, apparently. I really want to fucking sleep, but my mind won’t let
me.

I feel guilty about what occurred between Edward and I. Not just because of our most recent
exchange, but for everything that’s happened over the course of the past twenty-four hours. I
shouldn’t have led him on. What the fuck is wrong with me?

And now I’m more confused than ever. With Bella and her baby in the picture now, why would
he want to pursue something with me? Christ, for all I knew, she was right down the hall when
Edward, Claire, and I were messing around. How twisted is that?

Quite fucking twisted.

Apparently, my mind grants me a shred of mercy. I must have fallen back to sleep because the
next thing I know Emmett is shaking me awake.

“Dude. It’s five minutes till ten. Jake and Nessie are hitting up McDonald’s before they stop
serving breakfast. Want something?”

I blink a few times and looking at Emmett’s smiling mug, I can’t help but smile back.

“Mmmm….yeah. I need a McSkillet Burrito.”

The words are no sooner out of my mouth when my stomach turns.

“Uhhh…maybe just a couple of hash browns.”

This earns another turn from my stomach.

“Never mind. I’m just gonna skip breakfast this morning,” I say, grimacing.

Emmett laughs and ruffles my messy curls.

“Have too much fun last night, little bro?”

“You could say that,” I grumble.

“Time to get up, either way. I’m sure you‘ve got shit to do,” he says snickering before leaving
my room.

I flop back onto the mattress with a groan because I so don’t wanna get up.

Getting up, I rifle through my closet for something to wear, and make my way towards the
bathroom.

Only to run into fucking Bella.

Literally.

“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry, Jasper. I wasn’t paying attention.”

Don’t blame her. It’s not her fault. Don’t blame her. It’s not her fault.

“That’s okay, sweetie,” I say with a weak smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, thank you. “ She does look better this morning.

I hug her briefly with the arm that isn’t carrying my stack of clothes and quickly kiss the top of
her head. I continue towards the bathroom before she stops me.

“Jasper, I was kinda hoping we could talk when you have a minute.”

I inwardly groan and clench my eyes shut. All this talking isn’t doing one bit of fucking good.
The last thing I want is a heart-to-heart with Bella. What the hell does she want with me?

I turn around slowly to face her. “About what, Bella?”

She bites her bottom lip and looks down at her bare feet. “About Edward.”

Will this shit not end?

“Hold the thought, hon. I desperately need to shower and scrub this hangover out of my mouth,
first.” Without waiting for her answer, I turn on my heel and head for the bathroom.

Of course, I meet Jacob coming up the stairs. I don’t even give him a chance to say anything.
Holding up my hand I say, “I don’t care if a fucking volcano is erupting in the back yard…I’m
taking a shower first.”

I finally make it to the bathroom and slam the door, and in doing so it brings my headache
roaring back and I double over in front of the sink.

“Can’t a guy catch a fucking break?” I whimper against the counter.

After a few moments of groveling, I toss my clothes on the counter, strip off my boxers, answer
the call of nature, and finally turn the hot water on in the shower. I moan at the blissful feeling of
the nearly scalding water pounding my shoulders. Lowering my head, I let the water work my
neck as well.

And just like every morning, my dick is standing at attention. Damn monster needs a lesson in
timing.

I ignore it and work some shampoo into a furious lather on my head, scrubbing out the smell of
beer, cigarette smoke, and Lord knows what else. After rinsing, I grab my shower gel and
washcloth to clean the grime off of the rest of me. In the process, I actively avoid the monster at
all costs.

The last thing I need is sexual release. I don’t fucking deserve it.

And how do you expect to face Bella when you’re done? You think she’s gonna leave you alone?

Fuck my life.

I fix a baleful look at my betraying erection and resignedly decide that I should just get rid of it.

I squirt some shower gel into my hand and lean my head against the tile wall before giving my
dick a few tentative strokes.

Something quick…gotta make this quick.

I run through my mental catalog of erotic fantasies and settle on Jessica Alba. Envisioning that
little thing bouncing on my cock sends me over the edge like nothing else.

I’m sitting with my back against the headboard as Jessica throws her head back and squeals my
name. Her tits are bouncing just out of reach of my mouth…..

…and nothing. I’m going fucking soft.

What the fuck?

No…this isn’t happening.

Jessica coos, “I just love how your cock feels inside me, Jasper. Fuck me, harder!” I grip her
hips and forcefully, repeatedly, thrust into her as she sinks her fingers into my shoulders and
screams.

I am completely fucking soft.

How is this possible?

Now I’m pissed.

Groaning at the irony, I shake my head and rinse off. At least my erection’s gone.

I get out of the shower, towel off, and pull on my clothes. As I start brushing my teeth, there’s a

knock at the door.

At this point I want to fucking scream, “What the fuck do you want?”

Instead, with a mouthful of toothpaste, I grumble, “It’s open.”

I hang my head in defeat as Edward walks in. Looking up, I nearly spit out my toothpaste in
laughter as I read his shirt.

It’s black and in giant white letters, it screams, “FREE HUGS”. I’m laughing because I know
that on the back of his shirt is a trophy surrounded by the words, “World Champion Slut
Hugger”.

With him smirking at my reflection, I resume brushing my teeth.

I nod in his direction, gesturing for him to say whatever he came in here to say. Instead, he rakes
a hand through his hair and sidles up to the counter next to me, leaning his back against the edge.

Dragging his hand down his face, he sighs. “Jasper, can I ask you something, and have you
answer me truthfully?”

I frown before I rinse my mouth out. After wiping out the sink, I turn to him, frown still in place.

“Haven’t I been truthful with you up until now?”

No.

“Yes or no, Jasper,” he murmurs.

I throw my hands up, exasperated. “Fine. Yes, of course. I’ve been lying through my teeth up
until now. Why don’t we change things up a bit?”

Edward winces before continuing.

“What happened yesterday?” He asks, gazing at the floor.

“Fuck if I know, man. I told you I got all fucking confused. Can’t we just move past yesterday?”

He clearly has no idea what he’s doing to me.

“Well, I would except that you’re not the only one who’s confused here. I mean, yesterday, your
actions were all over the place. Discovering Mike in bed with me freaked you out. Not an hour
later, in the basement, you…”

“I know. I was there, Edward.”

Edward scoffed and pulled his hand through his hair again. “Did I imagine all of that? I have a
pretty vivid imagination, but that was out of the ballpark, even for me. “

I swallowed hard. I couldn’t offer him an answer without looking like the fucking liar that I am.
Why is he doing this to me?

“And later…in my room…you said you just wanted to take things slow. I agreed to that. I never
imagined you were fucking placating me, damn it!”

Looking off to the side, words that he shouldn’t hear slip from my mouth. “I wasn’t placating
you.”

He pushes off the counter and takes my face in his hands. “Then what happened? What did I do?
What do I have to do, Jasper?”

My skin is buzzing at his touch, my arms are itching to make their way around his waist and hug
him so fucking tight.

Resting his forehead on mine, his voice drops to a whisper. “Are you afraid of what people will
think? I’m not looking to out you, I just need you. I can keep us from the world for as long as
you want me to. Nobody has to know. This can stay between us; we can keep it a secret.” His
whispers are growing desperate and the need to wrap myself around him is almost too much.

“Edward, you shouldn’t have to sell yourself short like that. You deserve a hell of a lot more than
to just be someone’s dirty little secret. “

And you owe it to Bella to be there for her one hundred percent.

“Jasper, I would lay down and fucking die for you. If hiding this part of me from the world until
we’re old and gray would make you happy, I’d do it in a heartbeat. No questions asked. ”

“What about Bella? Hmm? Doesn’t she deserve more than that? When are you going to realize
that there are bigger things out there than just you and me?”

Edward takes a couple steps back. Good. Now I can think straight.

“I’m confused, Jazz.”

“What’s there to be confused about? You may be quite content with having a secret affair with
someone, but how do you think Bella would take that news?”

“Bella? We’ve been friends for years. She already knows how I feel about you. It doesn’t bother
her now; I doubt it will bother her down the road.”

How could this not bother her?

“Jasper, Bella and I are friends above all else. Things between us were casual, never serious.
Aside from our friendship, there is nothing going on between Bella and I. Nothing.”

At that precise fucking moment, Bella passes in front of the open door. She offers us a weak
smile and her hand darts to her belly. A new mother reflex, I’m sure.

That’s all I need.

There may not be anything romantic between them now, but creating a life is far from nothing. I
don’t have the right to sully that. Edward certainly doesn’t have that right.

I shake my head at Edward and struggle to keep my anger in check.

“That, Edward,” I say with a nod in Bella’s direction, “is as far from nothing as you can get.”
Leaving the bathroom, I slide past Bella. After retrieving my wallet, keys, and cell phone from
my bedroom, I race down the stairs and out of the house.

Cranking up the Silverado, I charge down the street. I make it three blocks before checking my
rearview mirror and seeing that nobody has followed me.

Good.

Now what? Where the hell am I gonna go?

It’s not long before I encounter a busy intersection and have to stop at the red light.

Should I go to campus?

And what do you expect to accomplish in this condition?

A whole lot of nothing, apparently.

I glance off to my left and see a bakery with a display case full of cheerful fucking cupcakes.

Fuck your cupcakes and your god damn sprinkles, too. Anything cheery at this point just pisses
me the fuck off.

Wait a second.

Is this the shop where Claire works?

I make up my mind to find out, and cut across the lanes to pull into one of several parking spaces
outside the shop.

Only paying attention to the sign that indicates that the shop is open, I let myself in. I wince at
the cheery little jingle of the bells indicating my entry and give the front of the shop a

perfunctory glance.

The air is thick with the smell of vanilla, cake, coffee, and every sweet thing imaginable. I
almost become lost in the smells barraging my senses when a woman’s voice from behind the
counter grabs my attention.

“Good morning, sir. Looking for something in particular?”

Jack pot.

I am looking into the eyes of a woman that could easily pass for Claire about twenty years down
the road. Her dark hair is pulled back into a ponytail under a pink baseball cap and a matching
pink apron covers her white t-shirt. The only differences I can see between her and Claire at the
moment are the charming smile lines that surround her lips and this woman’s eyes are green
instead of blue. She waves a hand, trying to get me to focus.

“Helloooooo?”

I shake my head, and grin before speaking. “I’m sorry ma’am. You just remind me of someone I
met recently. The resemblance is uncanny.”

She smirks and says, “Since there are few people out there with this mug,” she says, pointing to
her face, “I’ll take that to mean you’ve met my daughter.”

Before I can even reply, the woman shouts over her shoulder, “Claire, get your butt up here.
You’ve got a visitor.”

I start to protest. I don’t want to interrupt. I had only wanted to see if she worked here and if I
could speak with her on her lunch break.

“Oh, stop it, doll face. It’s not like we’re hopping at the moment.”

At that moment, Claire approaches the counter, her hair wrapped in a pink bandana instead of a
baseball cap, and she is covered almost completely in what looks to be powdered sugar.

“Mama, we need to replace that ancient mixer. It just vomited two pounds of 10X sugar on
me…..oh, my God! Jasper!“ Her face lights up like fucking Christmas.

Without even missing a beat, she hops up on the counter, swings her legs around and hops off the
counter on my side. Throwing me completely for a loop, she launches herself at me, wrapping
her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.

She hugs me tight and mumbles into my neck, “How the hell are you? You feeling better?”

Stunned at her enthusiasm, I manage to squeak, “Yes?”

She finally releases me from her grasp and hops down to the floor. “What? What’s wrong?”

I smile and shake my head. “I was in the neighborhood…thought I’d stop by. Do you get a lunch
break today?”

Shaking some of the excess sugar from her clothes, she says, “This is a family owned business.
We are dead right now and my lunch break starts,” she looks at a blank spot on her wrist, “now.”
She finishes her statement with a wink.

“Great, so….where you going?” I ask as she hops across the counter again.

“Getting some snacks. Meet me out back!” She calls over her shoulder.

I turn to her mother, “I’m sorry. I didn’t get your name, ma’am.”

“Just call me, ‘Nana’. Everyone does,” she says holding out her hand.

I take her hand, and gently kiss her knuckles. “Well, Nana, it was a pleasure meeting you.”

“Likewise, doll face. Now get your ass out back before she eats all the lemon muffins she’s
swiping from the warmer.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I reply and head out the door.

Making my way around the back of the building, I see Claire setting up a pile of what must be
the lemon muffins her mother was talking about, and a couple cans of orange Crush on a patio
table.

“Quite a spread you’ve got here, sweetie.”

She sits down in one of the chairs at the table and tosses me a muffin and a wink, motioning for
me to take the other chair.

I sit down across from her and unwrap my muffin. Holding it under my nose, I breathe in deep
before taking a bite.

Around a mouthful of lemon cake and streusel something-or-other I say, “My God. Did you
make these?”

“Yes. Did you come here to ask me about my muffins?”

I raise an eyebrow at her in response.

“Let me rephrase that…” she says chuckling.

“Don’t worry about it. I actually wanted to make sure you were doing okay today and hoping

that you didn’t think that I was a complete ass.”

She swallows a bite of her muffin before tossing the wrapper in the dumpster behind her.

“I’m doing great, and of course I don’t think you’re a complete ass.” She wipes her hands off on
her apron and scoots her chair closer to me. “So…you and Edward,” she says with a smirk.

I groan before falling back in my chair.

“No, no, no! Jasper, look at me!” She scoots her chair even closer and grabs my shirt to pull me
back up. When I finally look at her, she smiles and continues. “Do you have any idea how
fucking hot it was to watch the two of you kiss? Seriously?” She emphasizes her last word with a
tug on my shirt.

I’m fucking floored. “You have got to be shitting me, darlin’.”

“I shit you not, cowboy. That little visual kept me up for fucking hours last night. Hours!” She
finally releases my shirt and sits back in her chair. “Okay, got that out of my system.”

“Christ, if a fucking kiss got you all hot and bothered, I’m not even gonna get into what
happened in the fucking basement yesterday,” I joked.

“What?” She’s grabbing my shirt again.

“Claire, calm down,” I chuckle. “This is kind of a sensitive topic for me at the moment.”

She sits back with a dramatic pout. “You may not spill now, but you will later. I’ll make sure of
it. So what’s going on with you two? How long have y’all been together?”

I sigh and lean forward, hanging my head. Looking up, I see another lemon muffin dangling
from Claire’s fingers in front of my face. I take it with a smirk and decide that I might as well
level with her.

“We’re not together. We’ve been best friends for years and all of a sudden yesterday, things blew
up in my face.”

“Does it need fixing?” Claire asks.

“I don’t know if I can fix it. We sort of had a spat before I left the house earlier. I don’t know
where to go from here.” Can I fix this?

“I can be objective if you want to tell me about it.”

I look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I promise to keep my pervy thoughts to myself,” she swears with a wink.

Four and half muffins, and two cans of orange Crush later, I have managed to unravel the entire
day for her, up to and including the spat with Edward in the bathroom this morning.

“Wooooow. What a day, huh?”

I scoff. “You’re telling me?”

Claire screws up her mouth in thought. “So…Bella’s pregnant and just shows up out of the blue.
Is she planning on staying here?”

“I have no fucking clue.”

“Well, I can understand Edward not coming out and saying something about it to you. If he’s any
kind of friend to her, he will probably wait until she’s okay with people knowing about the
pregnancy and spill the beans later. I don’t think he’s deliberately trying to keep that from you.
He must know that you’d find out sooner or later.”

“True, but that doesn’t explain why he wants to start something with me knowing he’s gonna be
a father. That kinda complicates things.”

“Well, that indicates to me that he’s not planning to marry her. Nobody could be that much in
denial. It’s very possible that he was telling the truth when he said there’s nothing romantic
going on between them. It’s not just romance that makes babies, unfortunately.”

I simply nod. That’s certainly true enough.

“Does he really strike you as the type to shirk a responsibility of this magnitude?”

“He’s generally pretty responsible. Aside from getting a girl knocked up, I guess,” I chuckle.

“Fair enough. That being said, do you think that for a man to be a good father he has to be
romantically involved with the mother of his child?” she asks.

“I guess not.” Sad fucking truth.

“Welcome to the twenty first century, cowboy. Families aren’t all peaches and cream these
days,” she says with a wink.

Well isn't that the fucking truth?

“Would you ever be romantically involved with a woman that was a single mother?” she asks.

“I never really thought about it, but I don’t think I would hold that against her, so I guess it’s
possible.”

“So would this really be that different?”

Would it?

“I see your point.”

With a sigh, I continue. “It’s not just Bella, though. I’ve never once considered having a
relationship with another man. Edward has totally fucked things up in my head now and I can’t
figure out which end is up anymore.”

Claire takes another bite of her muffin and pauses before responding. “You’re attracted to him?”

I close my eyes and picture Edward’s emerald eyes glittering with laughter and that fucking
cock-eyed smirk.

I nod my head in response to her question.

“Look at me, Jasper,” she says, tipping my chin with one of her fingers.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. If someone says there is, then fuck ‘em.”

Fuck, I love this girl.

“Maybe what you should do is go home, and apologize for snapping at Edward. You have to take
into account that he doesn’t know you’re aware of Bella’s condition. Then you need to tell him
that you need a little time to sort things out before anything else happens between you two. If he
objects to that, then you should be the one to give him some space. He basically got rejected after
baring his soul to you, and I can tell you from experience that fucking hurts.”

“Yes, professor,” I say with a smirk.

“And remember, you will give me details eventually. None of this, ‘things got out of hand
physically in the basement’ bullshit, ya got me?” She has the most evil grin in place.

“Thank you, Claire. For everything,” I say standing up.

“Any time, cowboy,” she says, wrapping me in her arms for a hug.

I squeeze her tight and after a couple moments, release her.

I almost start to walk away before I remember something. “When you met Edward last night,
you said that meeting him explained a lot. Or something to that effect anyway…”

Claire chuckles before responding. “Every time someone mentioned Edward’s name, I could
hear you mutter under your breath, ‘Fucking Edward.’”

“Are you serious?” Fuck, how drunk was I?

“As a heart attack. Every time. I just figured he stole your girlfriend or something. Of course
when we got back to your place…” she let her voice trail off.

“I get it. I’m sorry, really.”

“Make it up to me with details, cowboy,” she says with a wink before tossing the rest of the trash
in the dumpster. With a wave, she heads back inside.

I walk back to the front of the shop and duck back inside.

“Nana?”

I see her at the counter, dangling a pink paper bag from her hands. Chuckling, I walk up to the
counter and take out my wallet.

“Sweetheart, put your money away. She makes a shitload of these every day; we can afford to
give away some. Just send your friends to Nana, doll face.” With a wink, she hands me the bag.

“Thank you very much, ma’am. I truly appreciate it.”

Not twenty minutes later, I’m pulling into the garage with a pink bag stuffed with Lord knows
how many dozens of mini lemon muffins. Judging by the wrappers on the seat next to me, I’ve
gone through five muffins on the trip back to the house. Regarding the bag, I decide they might
make a nice peace offering. One could hope, anyway.

I let myself into the house and see Jacob in the kitchen. His eyes nearly fall out of his head when
he sees the bag I’m carrying.

“Oh, honey! What’d ya bring me?” he asks, reaching for the bag.

“The bag is mine, but I can share.” I toss him a handful of muffins, hoping to keep his hand out
of the bag. “Where’s Edward?”

Jacob stops unwrapping his muffin to look up at me in surprise. “Actually, I think he’s upstairs
chewing Em’s ear off. Everything okay?”

Before I can even answer, I see Bella tread lightly down the stairs.

“Hey, girl. Want a muffin? I’m sure there’s one in here with your name on it,” I joke as she
breezes right by me.

“Thanks, but no thanks, Jazz.” She doesn’t even look at me as she heads for the door.

I start to go after her when I hear Emmett and Edward’s hushed voices drift down the stairs.

While I try to make out what they’re saying, Edward suddenly appears at the top of the stairs,
pulling on his black beanie.

“Conversation’s over Em. I’m done. Finished. Finito.” He trots down the steps and stops right in
front of me to adjust the beanie on his head. Looking at me with a smirk that’s betrayed by the
anger in his eyes, he repeats, “Done.” He takes two steps towards the door and halts. Turning
around he comes back to me and when I’m sure he’s gonna say something, he merely tips the
bag of muffins open, pokes a finger around to examine the contents, and then grabs a handful. He
tosses a, “Thanks,” over his shoulder and heads out the door.

Emmett bounds down the steps and before he even hits the bottom step, he cocks a finger at me.
“You. Basement. Now.”

Fuck.

I set the bag on the counter and it doesn’t escape my notice that Jacob slowly draws it closer to
himself, staking his claim.

I’m filled with dread with what’s to come as I descend the staircase into the basement. I’ve had
very few opportunities to see my brother angry. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m fucking
frightened when that anger is directed at me.

Seeing Emmett standing next to the sofa with his arms crossed over his chest, my blood runs
cold.

“Would you mind telling me what has Edward so fucking pissed that he’s considering moving to
Jacksonville?”

“Oh, god no…”

No…no…no..NO!

“Don’t worry, he only said he was considering it. He’s not sure if it would work though, because
of school. Now what the hell is going on, Jasper? I’m your fucking brother; I shouldn’t have to
drag shit out of you. If something was wrong, why couldn’t you come to me?”

“It’s…complicated, Em.”

“I’m a god damned engineering major, Jazz. I’m sure I can keep up.”

I plop onto the sofa and bury my face in my hands.

And for the second time today, I spill my guts. They say that unloading your burdens is supposed
to make them easier to carry. I have discovered today that unloading them twice just makes them
feel twice as heavy.

At the end of my tale, Emmett is at my side with a massive arm draped across my shoulders.

“Fuck, Jazz. Edward mentioned nothing about the baby. Fuck!”

“Please, keep that to yourself, Emmett.”

He just nods, looking deep in thought.

“So what now? I mean, you’re not gonna sit there and tell me you don’t have feelings for him.”
He follows the statement with an elbow to my ribs.

“Funny, Em. Truly. I don’t fucking know. It might be best to just let things boil over for a little
while. We both need some space, I guess.”

“While that may be true, I don’t think you should let it go for so long where you act like there’s
no such thing as the pink elephant in the room shaking it’s trunk at you. If he doesn’t come to
you first, go to him. Don’t let this ruin years of friendship, okay?”

“Got it,” I answer, leaning into him. “Thanks, Em.”

“No problem. Don’t ever think you can’t come to me with something that’s bothering you, okay?
Promise me?”

“I promise.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got finals to study for. And I believe you do, too.”

“Fuck yeah, better get on that shit. Gotta wrap up that damn Psych project, too, damn it.”

“Hop to it, little bro!” he says with a slap on my back before heading for the stairs.

I quickly realize, after spending the next several hours throwing myself into finishing my case
study and forcing myself to remember too damn many formulas for chemistry, that the easiest
way to get Edward off my mind is to absorb myself in class work.

And the easiest way to ruin it all is to stop.

I look out of my window and see that the sun has already set. Feeling my stomach growl I also
realize that lemon muffins aren’t enough to sustain me all day.

I don’t even look at the clock because I don’t fucking care what time it is. All I know is that I
haven’t heard Edward or Bella return and have no clue where they went.

At first I’m angry, but before long, my heart sinks because I actually started to allow myself to
hope on the ride back from Nana’s that Edward and I could work something out.

I wrestle with the thought of telling Edward how I feel about him. What would he think now if I
told him that I love how he makes me feel? That he makes my heart pound like fucking crazy?
That just the thought of his smirk makes me hard?

Great, good job there, Jazz. Now you’ve got an aching heart and an aching hard-on.

At first the thought of his hands on me terrified me. Now that thought has me wanting to jack off
like a mad man. How fucked up is that?

How fucked up is it? Really? I mean, it’s not like I haven’t masturbated to fantasy situations.
Generally, they play out a bit differently than the one in the shower this morning, but really.
What’s wrong with fantasizing? At the rate I’m going now, I’ll be lucky if that’s all I get.

And at this rate, I’m exhausted, and my brain is fried. If this is all I’m gonna get, I’m gonna
fucking take it.

I undo my belt, pop the button above my fly, and lower my zipper before palming my erection
while I contemplate this little fantasy in my head. I flash back to my dream earlier this morning
of going down on Edward. Yeah, that was hot, but I would much rather imagine him getting me
off instead of the other way around.

I let my mind drift back to when he had me pushed up against his bedroom door, teasing the fuck
out of me while Jacob was trying to talk with me.

Edward is on his knees kissing the sensitive skin below my navel and swiping his tongue across
the outline of the tattoo on my hip.

Whoa! Too much…too fucking fast. Thirty more seconds of imagining Edward’s tongue on me
and I’d be a goner.

What else?

The basement?

With Alice?

Fuck no…forget Alice.

Edward pushes me on my back, pressing me into the cold basement floor. I’m not shocked this
time. I want him to touch me. I want him to press himself against me.

Grabbing the back of his head and pulling him towards me, I taste his lips. So fucking delicious.

He groans against my mouth and instead of waiting for him to take the initiative, I thrust my hips
into his. Because he’s still straddling me, I have to arch my back to reach him, but I succeed in
making my point as he growls, “Fuck.”

My hands slide down his back and I sink my fingers into his ass pulling him towards me. Edward
responds by spreading his knees, nearly flattening his entire body against me before pushing up
slightly on his elbows.

With a slow roll of his hips, I nearly come undone beneath him.

“Is this what you wanted, Jasper? To feel how hard you make me? To feel my cock grinding
against yours?”

“Yes, Edward. That’s exactly what I want,” I reply, arching my back to press into him.

Edward drops his head slightly and a soft whimper escapes his lips.

Fuck, I need to hear that sound again. So sweet.

I tighten the grip I have on his hips as I press against him again.

“Edward, look at me,” I whisper.

After a slight hesitation, he finally fixes his brilliant green eyes on me.

“This is what you do to me,” I say just before thrusting against him, with a bit more force.

I’m rewarded with another sweet whimper from his mouth. “Jazz…”

He drops his head to nuzzle my neck, nipping gently at my skin. I groan in response and bite my
bottom lip.

Edward continues to roll his hips against me, making me fucking delirious with the friction
created. He is dragging his tongue against my jaw from my chin to my ear.

“Fuck…Edward…”

“Tell me you want me, Jazz. Tell me you want me to touch you, to taste you, to make you come.”

Those words make me whimper now, because each one rings true.

I let go of his hips and wrap my arms around his shoulders. Then, all but begging into his ear, I
whisper, “Edward, I do want you. I’m fucking lying when I say I don’t.”

I turn my head to kiss him and he immediately plunges his tongue into my mouth. I’ll never tire
of his lips on mine.

Arching my back into him, I meet every roll of his hips with a thrust of mine and before long, our
movements become erratic. My muscles are quivering, the muffled sounds coming from our

joined lips become clamant, emphatic.

Edward is the first to break our kiss and he presses his forehead to mine.

“Jazz, I’m….”

I echo the words he whispered into my ear the last time we were in this position. “Come for me,
love.”

“Fuck…” I mutter. My feverish strokes on my erection cause my back to arch.

Jesus…..almost….there…..

My eyes snap to my bedroom door and I feel the blood rush from my face as I now see Edward
standing in the doorway.

Fuck. My. God. Damn. Fucking. Life.

“Door….was open…” he whispers, face flushed crimson red and one hand gripping a handful of
his hair.

“Then shut it,” I growl.

I can’t fucking believe this.

I close my eyes and hear the door gently shut. I gasp, because the next sound I expect to hear is
not his footsteps coming towards the bed.

**********

A/N :D ---why am I smiling? Because I know what happens next!

Side Note #1 (because it's that important): I'm putting my ass on the auction block for the
September Support Stacie Auction. The auction begins on Friday, September 11th at
11:59pm CST and ends on Monday, September 14th 7:00pm CST. You can find my offer
at:
http://majiksfanfic(dot)com/phpbb/viewtopic(dot)php?f=115&t=2805&p=52762&hilit=bea
utiful+figment#p52762 (clickable link will be on my profile). I'm one of those people who
feels uberguilty because I can't lend monetary support for such causes, but I'm thrilled to
have the opportunity to give my time in lieu of dollars. Have a few dollars? Want me to
write a 2500 word fic to your specifications? Bid on me....I'll bend over backwards to make
it happen ;)

Side Note #2: I throw myself at y'all's feet begging for forgiveness for taking so dang long
to update. RL likes to shove sticks in my spokes and throw me somersaulting over the
handlebars whenever possible. I'm currently recovering from surgery for one thing

(nothing major...you don't need the details, trust me.....just know that Percocet makes
things muuuuch better!). I'm already working on Chapter 13 (shit...after that cliffie,
wouldn't you??!!)

Side Note #3: Last chapter threw this fic over the 500 reviews mark!! OMG!!!! I don't
deserve y'all, seriously.....I am so ecstatic to reach this milestone! That being said, I
sincerely apologize for being such total fail for replying to reviews this last chapter. But
know this, I read all your reviews....they're like my nourishment, I don't know what I'd do
without them :)

As always, review! Pimp! And for a bit of fun, visit the WIFTR thread on Twilighted....link
is on my profile.


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Chapter: 13


A/N SM owns Twilight and all related characters. I’m about to knock some heads together
and feed them a small yellow fruit.

Massively huge thanks, as always, go out to Dark Absynthe, my Junior Beta, and
Touchstone67, my Master Beta (*snickersnort*). In all seriousness, these gals keep my
chapters from being full of grammatical fail and give everyone the impression that I have a
firm grip (*snickersnort*) on the English language.

**********

My eyes snap to my bedroom door and I feel the blood rush from my face as I now see Edward
standing in the doorway.

Fuck. My. God. Damn. Fucking. Life.

“Door….was open…” he whispers, face flushed crimson red and one hand gripping a handful of
his hair.

“Then shut it,” I growl.

I can’t fucking believe this.

I close my eyes and hear the door gently shut. I gasp, because the next sound I expect to hear is
not his footsteps coming towards the bed.

**********

Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I ask in a strained whisper, “Edward…what are you doing?”

I have no idea what to expect of him. Does he want to stand by the bed and watch me jerk off?

The mattress lowers as he climbs onto the bed, and I nearly lose it when he actually straddles me.

Reflexively, my hands reach out to push him off me, but instead they make fists in his shirt. I
feel his breath hot on my neck and I can’t fucking breathe.

“Something on your mind, Jasper?” Hearing his voice grating with lust makes my aching cock
throb that much harder. It’s damn near excruciating because I was so fucking close to exploding
when he interrupted me.

After swallowing hard, I’m able to breathe again; however, I can’t bring myself to answer him.

“Tell me what’s got you so fucking hard. Who are you thinking about?” he demands in my ear. I
can only gasp for air wildly in response.

“Tell me who does this to you, Jasper.”

His fucking name is on the tip of my tongue but I can’t force it past my lips.

“Say it. Out loud.” His lips are now at my ear and each word is clipped. When I still fail to
answer, he finally growls, “Say it.”

“It’s you, Edward. You do this to me,” I rasp.

Quickly, I realize that the emotion in Edward’s voice isn’t lust like I originally thought. He’s
furious.

Pounding his fists into the mattress on both sides of my head, he growls, “Then why the fuck do
you keep pushing me away?”

Fear is now coiled in my belly because I know what he’s capable of when he’s this angry.

I begin to stammer, afraid of hesitating with my answer. “B..b..b..ella…”

He now pushes himself off of the bed slightly to look at me directly, seething, eyes wild with
anger.

“Why won’t you believe me when I tell you there’s nothing going on between us? Nothing!”

“Edward, the baby….” I choke out.

He pulls back from me a bit more, his t-shirt straining in my death grip.

“How did you know Bella was pregnant?” he asks, confused.

“I heard her tell you yesterday.”

Edward blinks a few times before his brows knit together. “And just what is it about Bella being
pregnant that bothers you so much?”

How the fuck can he ask me that? Does he not think that becoming a father might complicate
things? Does he not think that it bothers me knowing that no matter what happens between him
and I that she will always have a piece of him, even if I have nothing?

“Stop trying to look at the big picture, Jazz and tell me exactly what bothers you about Bella
being pregnant. I’m looking for a simple answer here.”

Suddenly I’m filled with the demanding urge to hit him as I realize I’m beginning to absorb
some of his anger; it's welling up inside me. In fact, I’m so angry, that I can’t open my mouth for
fear that I wouldn’t be able to stop with that and would actually strike him. I answer him simply
by gritting my teeth and breathing heavily through my nose since I’m not capable of much else
without inflicting some sort of bodily harm.

“I guess I’m gonna have to answer my own question then. The thing that bothers you so badly is
the fact that I knocked her up. Am I right?”

A strangled, groaning sob rips from my throat and I tighten the grip I have on his shirt, “Yes, God
damn it! It fucking kills me, Edward! How the fuck could you think it wouldn’t?”

My conversation with Claire suddenly seems ridiculous. I can’t compete with Bella and a baby.
They will always be his priority and I will be left behind. It’s inevitable.

“Jasper, if this bothered you so much, why didn’t you talk to me about it?” Even in a whisper, I
hear his voice crack. I’m a fool to think that this didn’t bother him as well. Regardless of his
irresponsibility with getting Bella pregnant, he didn’t intentionally do it to fuck with me.

Am I still mad? Fuck yes, I am.

“What good would it have done, Edward? She’d still be pregnant…”

Edward cut me off and got right in my face as he hisses, “With another man’s baby!”

Wait, what?

My shock at his words must register on my face his because his voice softens. “She was scared.
She came to me because I’m her best friend. Christ, Jasper. Why can’t you just open your
fucking mouth for once in your life?”

Oh my God, what have I done?

“Edward,” I choke. My body begins to convulse from the effort to contain the sobs threatening to
rend my chest to pieces.

How could I have been so stupid? To not even consider asking him if he was the father of Bella’s
baby? To think that he was just so cavalier with Bella’s feelings and his responsibilities?

“Do you think that I would be as careless as to not to protect myself from getting a girl pregnant?
Do you think I would touch you without knowing that I’ve done everything in my power to
protect you from getting sick? Do you think that little of me, Jasper?”

I can see tears swimming in his eyes and know he sees the same in mine. How could I have
doubted that he would do the right thing?

All I can do is shake my head and struggle to keep the tears from falling.

“If you have a problem, Jazz please, come to me. Talk to me. Just open your mouth.” With his
last words, he trails the fingers of one hand around my lips. I close my eyes and my entire body
shivers at his touch.

“Is there anything else bothering you right now that I should know about?” He’s now brushing
my lips with the pad of his thumb.

“Yes,” I whisper.

I hear Edward swallow and open my eyes to look at him.

“I…I was..uh…kind of in the middle of something when you showed up.” Well, he did want to
know if anything else was bothering me. The fact that I still have a raging hard-on despite our
conversation and the fact that I was so close to release is definitely bothering me right now.

“So I noticed,” Edward whispers, dipping his head down into my neck and brushing his lips
against me.

I release a shuddering breath and grip his shirt even tighter in my fists.

“In fact, I was watching for quite a while and it was all I could do to not do the same thing,” he
adds with a nip at my jaw.

A low, deep groan spills from my mouth.

Balancing his weight on one hand, Edward uses the other to drift down my side, the heat of his
skin penetrating the fabric of my t-shirt.

When his hand reaches the waistband of my open jeans, he gently digs his thumb into the “V” of
my hip and traces the line until he reaches my tattoo. Flattening his palm against the inked skin,
his hand slides his hand further down before he grips my thigh.

“Oh, God!” I cry out, and my hips automatically respond to his touch by nearly jumping off the
mattress.

“This looks like quite a big problem, Jasper. Did you need help working this out?” Edward
murmurs huskily before taking my ear lobe between his teeth.

The smallest bit of control I was struggling to maintain slips and I finally snap.

I push Edward off of me and, after sitting up, pin him on his back into the mattress. Before he
can even react, I shove the hem of his t-shirt up to his chest and begin to practically consume
every bit of flesh exposed to me, laving the chiseled muscles with my tongue, pulling his nipples
into my mouth, nipping the skin on his hip bones. I’m frantic trying to gorge myself on this man
who has altered everything I’ve ever known.

“Fuck…Jasper…Christ!” Edward gasps.

Suddenly, he pushes me back until we’re both in a sitting position with Edward straddling my
thighs. With lightening speed, he whips his shirt over his head and throws it across the room. I
start to mirror his actions but he beats me to it, grabbing the hem of my t-shirt and forcing my
arms up as he yanks it over my head to discard it with his own shirt.

My cock is now sandwiched between us, pressing against the skin of my belly and the fly of his
jeans. Desperate for release, I thrust my hips to meet Edward’s, the rough fabric of the denim
giving me much needed friction but causing me to hiss at the accompanying discomfort.

Edward falls back onto the mattress and in a flurry of motion, quickly releases his belt, opens his
fly, and shoves his jeans and boxers down his hips and ultimately, completely off, tossing them
on the floor with the rest of our abandoned clothing.

I begin to do the same thing when Edward is suddenly in my lap, straddling me again.

“No, keep them on,” he pants . “Just…this…” he whispers, dipping his hands into the back of
my jeans, slipping beneath the waistband of my boxer briefs and pushing both down, exposing
me completely.

I gasp at the feeling of his hands sliding down the cheeks of my ass and then groan when his
hands slide back up to squeeze me.

Slipping my arms beneath his, I wrap them around his back, pulling him tightly against me
before crushing my lips to his. Edward whimpers into my mouth as I slip my tongue inside.

My hands slide down his back, squeezing the quivering muscles beneath his taut skin. When my

hands reach his hips, I hesitate briefly before sliding lower to grip his ass. To this, Edward
groans into my mouth and grinds his hips into mine.

“Fuck,” I mutter against him. It had felt so incredible when he had pressed into me when we both
had on our boxers yesterday. The sensation created by feeling his bare skin sliding against my
own now, however, is unfuckingbelievable.

Edward brings one of his arms to hook around the back of my neck and he breaks away from the
kiss to sink his teeth into my shoulder. His name tumbles from my lips in a stuttered gasp as I
grip his ass harder and thrust into his hips. Leaning back, Edward brings his other hand to his
face covering his mouth.

I’m confused. “Edward, wha…?” but before I can finish my thought, he brings his hand down to
our laps and wraps his palm and fingers around both of our erections, pumping his hand a couple
of times.

My eyes roll in the back of my head as I realize he wasn’t covering his mouth but instead making
his hand slick with saliva before he gripped our cocks.

“God damn it, Edward, that feels so good,” I gasp.

He begins to stroke our erections in a swift, steady rhythm, stopping every so often to palm both
of the heads and spread the precum that has begun to accumulate. I can’t stop my hips from
trying to buck into his grip, which is made slightly difficult by our positioning.

Regardless, I’m in fucking heaven. I can honestly say that I have never felt anything this
amazing before.

Edward’s hand starts to increase the pace and he leans back, holding on to the back of my neck
with his other hand to brace his weight. His eyes are squeezed shut and soft grunts fall from his
lips.

“Edward,” I sigh, bringing his focus to me. I mimic his earlier move by bringing my hand to my
mouth, coating it in my saliva before brushing his hand out of the way to grip both of our
erections in my fist.

My self esteem shoots up a notch as I watch Edward’s head loll back on his shoulders and hear
him hiss, “Fuck, Jasper.”

Pulling him closer to me, I bring my lips to his ear, murmuring the same words he said to me
yesterday in the basement, “Your cock feels so fucking good against mine.”

Edward makes a fist in the back of my hair as my hand picks up the pace, becoming a blur as I
pump us both. Shocking the fuck out of me, he growls in my ear, “If you think this feels good
just wait till I’m fucking you.”

My stomach flips at his words and I can’t decide what shocked me more: his suggestion or the
fact that I didn’t object.

He pulls back and presses his forehead to mine as we both watch my hand stroking our cocks.
The visual is the most erotic fucking thing I’ve ever seen. That coupled with Edwards words
about what he wants to do to me cause the familiar burn of impending climax to tighten in my
groin.

The muscles in my arm are straining to keep up the frantic pace of my strokes and I can hear
Edward panting along with me. Right now, I can only pray he’s as close as I am.

My prayers are answered when he mutters, “Fuck, Jazz, I’m gonna come.”

I can’t even respond, my breath is officially gone.

“Look at me,” Edward grunts.
Doing as he asks, I look into his eyes and watch his face contort into a grimace as his release
draws closer.

“I want you to come with me,” he begs.

Licking my lips, I nod frantically in response.

Edward brings his hand back to his mouth before brushing my hand away to take over.

Finally finding my breath, I yell, “Oh, fuck!” just before Edward pulls me to him for a kiss.
Immediately, his tongue is in my mouth and I’m moaning pitifully into him, and he groans in
perfect harmony with my lustful lament.

My body stiffens as I feel the approach of my orgasm just as Edward’s body jerks against me,
the rhythm of his hand becoming erratic. My hand slides down his back once more to join the
other remaining at his hip and I squeeze his ass with both hands.

Edward practically screams into my mouth as his body stiffens, just before my body begins to
jerk with my orgasm when, finally, Edward’s strokes become a wet slick as we simultaneously
spill into his fist. The rhythm of his hand slows as he squeezes the remains of our orgasm
through the heads of our cocks. My body is suddenly so fucking weak that I wrap my arms
around Edward’s shoulders to keep from falling over.

Edward finally breaks our kiss and pulls back slightly to smile at me, his chest rising and falling
heavily with each breath. I return his smile just before he literally hops off my lap and off the
bed.

“Where you going?” I ask as my heart begins to fall.

Edward picks up one of our shirts off the floor just before he hops back onto the bed, and makes

quick work of cleaning off his hand and both of our softening erections before I speak. “Dude,
that better be your shirt.”

Edward snickers before answering. “It is…but I’m tossing it in with your laundry.”

Flopping back onto the bed, I chuckle. I can’t wrap my mind around what just happened. The
only thing clear to me is that this was hands-the-fuck-down, the most incredible sexual
experience I’ve ever had. And it was with a man….and I definitely want a repeat performance.

More than that, I want Edward to stay with me tonight. I have no idea if he just wanted to get off
and go, or if he’d rather actually sleep with me. I start to hope he will say something when I
realize that all the confusion over the past couple of days was caused by me not speaking up.

I’m not about to fuck this up already.

“Stay with me,” I whisper.

Edward’s face breaks into a grin and his eyes light up at my request. “If you didn’t want me to
sleep with you in your bed, I’d just drag you back to mine,” he jokes before leaning in for a kiss.

I taste his lips briefly, feeling that now familiar electric current pulse through my body at his
touch.

Since I don’t see Edward make a move to put his boxers or jeans back on, I decide to remove
mine. Now completely naked, I pull back the covers of the bed and slip beneath them. Edward
then tosses his t-shirt into the hamper and crawls in bed beside me, pulling me into his chest.

After breathing his scent deep into my lungs, I sigh against his muscular form. “I'm sorry I've
been such a dick, Edward. I should have said something.”

I can barely stay awake to hear his response after he kisses the top of my head. “It’s okay. We’ll
talk in the morning. Just sleep, love.”

**********

A/N See how much I love y’all? We get a little chat, AND a lemon! From here on out, I
promise to be a bit more generous with the citrus. Will there be more drama? Uh,
yeah….that’s just how I roll ;)

On a much more important note, I want to thank everyone who participated in the Support
Stacie Auction. I got to join some phenomenal authors on the auction block and Twific fans
did not disappoint! My Mistress, Definitely Staying, author of “The Forbidden Room” and
“A House of Cards” inspired fangirls to bid on her to the tune of over $2600.00! (In case
you’re wondering…that’s a fucking incredible amount for one author) And for those of
you who couldn’t hear my “squees” at the close of auction, she happened to make the
winning bid on my offer for her very own slash oneshot :D . *happy dance*

Ok…there’s my fangirl moment……

As always, review! Pimp! Send me naughty emails! (Can never have too many of those! ;) )


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Chapter: 14


A/N SM owns Twilight and all related characters. I own the ability to create scenarios with
her characters that would make her PTFO. Most likely. I have no idea how her mind works
when she’s not writing for the PG13 crowd, but it’s a pretty safe bet that she wasn’t
planning on Edward and Jasper getting frisky.

That’s totally my plan.

Thanks to the best fricken betas on the planet, Dark Absynthe and Touchstone67, for
making my stuff only suck where it’s supposed to ;) You ladies totally rock my socks -
*MUAH*

Last but not least, sooooo sorry for taking eleventy hundred days to update. Real life sucks
rotten donkey cock. Thank fuck for fiction…..especially the kind with boy smut; helps heal
my slash h00r wounds :D

**********

After breathing his scent deep into my lungs, I sigh against his muscular form. “I'm sorry I've
been such a dick, Edward. I should have said something.”

I can barely stay awake to hear his response after he kisses the top of my head. “It’s okay. We’ll
talk in the morning. Just sleep, love.”

**********

Warm. So fucking warm. Jesus, I haven’t slept this well in fricken ages. For once I hear the birds
chirping outside my window, and I don’t have the urge to shoot staples at them. All I want to do
is lie in bed all day, reveling in the most incredible fucking dream I have ever had.

Bella’s having someone else’s baby. Edward wanted to be with me even though I’ve been such a
complete fuckwit. And Edward….oh, Edward. I got more satisfaction out of a dream about
Edward than I ever got from actually having sex with someone. Fucking Christ that was hot!
Feeling my cock pressed against his, Edward’s slick fist wrapped around us…shit. It was such a

fucking vivid dream, that just thinking about it caused my usual morning wood to become a full-
blown hard on. Right now I’d love nothing more than to roll over onto my back to take care of
business, but I can’t move.

What the fuck?

“Mornin’, Jasper,” Edward murmurs, nuzzling my neck.

My eyes snap open and I flip over onto my back, jostling Edward in the process.

“Holy hell, Edward!” I grumble, scrubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. It wasn’t a
dream?

Edward’s panic is evident in his eyes as he begins to stammer, “What? What’s the matter?
Christ, Jazz, are you mad at me? Do you want me to…”

I cut him off by grabbing his face in my hands and quickly kissing his lips. Pressing my forehead
against his and closing my eyes I say, “I’m sorry. I was just so certain that last night was all a
dream. I’m not mad.”

He sounds relieved as he chuckles against me and returns my kiss, sliding his hands beneath my
back to hug me close. As I hum against him in satisfaction, my body practically fucking vibrates
with his electricity.

“Do you feel it, too?” I ask him, breathlessly.

“Feel what? This?” he asks, grinding his hips into me. A groan escapes my mouth as I feel his
granite erection pressing into mine. It’s now that I remember that we’re both still very naked.

“Well…that, too,” I reply, with a hum. “I was actually referring to the feeling I get every time
you touch me. It’s like electricity.”

“Mmmm…” Edward murmurs into my neck. “The Jasper Buzz. Of course I feel it,” he says with
a nip to the crook of my neck.

I can’t help but chuckle at the fact that he named the sensation after me. My chuckle is short
lived, however as he growls in my ear, “You think that’s fucking funny?” he asks, right before
raking his teeth against my jaw.

I wrap my arms around his shoulders just as I bring my hips up to meet his. Hissing against me,
Edward meets my thrust with one of his own.

Pushing his upper body off of me, he looks down at me with a smirk, “I have a question for
you.” He begins to roll his hips against me, driving me fucking insane to the point where I can
barely form thoughts, let alone words to answer his question.

“What’s that?” I pant.

Leaning forward, he traces the shell of my ear with his tongue, causing a violent shiver to ripple
through my body. “How long has it been since your cock’s received proper attention?”

I squeeze my eyes shut and gasp at his words. “Um,” I start to say before he begins to drag his
tongue down the column of my neck. “I…uh…I’m pretty sure….you gave it plenty of attention
last night, Edward.”

Sliding his body lower, he draws one of my nipples into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth.

“Jesus, fuck!” I cry out.

He abandons my nipple and continues to move farther down my torso, nuzzling his face into my
skin. The stubble on his face grating across my abs is maddening and I feel my entire body begin
to quiver. Reaching my excruciatingly hard erection, he teasingly blows against the head and my
hips jump off the mattress in response.

“That’s not the attention I was referring to, Jazz,” he says just before he touches the very tip of
his tongue to my slit.

“Shit!” I gasp just before fisting my hands in the sheet.

“So does that mean it’s been a while?” he asks with a sly grin.

“No, it’s just….fuck!” My thought process is cut off as he dips his head and begins to nurse the
head of my cock with his mouth. His lips constrict and release rhythmically around me as his
tongue flutters just beneath the head. Suddenly he releases me, the pull of his lips creating the
sound of a loud smacking kiss.

He looks up at me just before licking his lips. “It’s just what?”

“It’s you…I….I don’t think I’ll be able to last long,” I can barely breathe, let alone speak.

Grinning and holding my gaze, he returns his mouth to my cock. He swirls his tongue around the
head before slowly sucking in my entire length, causing me to cry out. It’s true; I’m not gonna
last long…at all. He immediately begins to bob his head along my rigid length, making the most
delicious fucking noises; slurping, sucking, moaning.

“Fuck, Edward! Christ, that’s perfect,” I moan.

My hands drift to his soft, messy, bronze locks and begin to massage his scalp. Apparently this
spurs him on because he closes his eyes before increasing the suction of his mouth and the speed
of his movements. Releasing, his hair, my hands slide down and caress the soft skin stretched
taut over his sinewy shoulders. I want to touch him everywhere, but it’s impossible with the way
we’re positioned.

“Wait, Edward. Hold up.”

He stills his movements and opens his eyes to look at me, stunned, before removing his wickedly
talented mouth from me. “What’s wrong? What did I do?”

I smirk at him before sitting up with my back against the headboard. After patting the spot on the
bed beside me, I raise an eyebrow at him. He hesitates briefly before crawling up the bed to sit
beside me. Leaning over, I kiss him on the lips.

So fucking warm.

“You did absolutely nothing wrong, trust me. I just want to be able to touch you, and I can’t with
your body angled that way.”

He gives me that sexy lopsided grin before responding. “You want to touch me while I suck you
off, Jasper?”

Smiling, I lick my lips and nod.

“Hell, I’m not about to turn that down,” he says before kissing me. Breaking away, his head
returns to my lap with his body now perpendicular to mine. Edward’s back is beautifully arched
as I run my hand over toned muscle and smooth, supple skin. Supporting his weight on one arm,
his opposite hand slips to my lap to begin caressing and tugging my balls. I bite my lip to keep
from screaming as my hand drifts to his ass to squeeze and stroke his flesh. Whimpering around
me, Edward begins to pick up the pace again, the sound of fervent suction growing more
pronounced.

I growl before bringing my hand to my mouth to coat it in saliva and reach beneath him to grasp
his hard cock in my fist. Immediately, Edward bucks into my hand and groans around me. He
hums low and deep around my erection, sending delirious vibrations straight through me. While
I’m stroking him with one hand, I bring my other hand to the back of his head, gripping his hair
as he continues to suck me. My head falls back slightly against the headboard and my eyes are
squeezed shut. This is, without a fucking doubt, the most incredible blow job I have ever
received. Ever.

I briefly entertain the thought about how much more lethal his mouth would be if he had a
tongue ring like mine. The thought makes my body tense up and my hips involuntarily buck into
Edward’s face. I’m about to apologize when I see that my actions don’t even cause Edward to
break stride. However, I do notice that he appears to be trying to smile around my cock.

“You think that’s fucking funny?” I ask, teasing him with his own words.

His movements falter as he struggles to laugh with his mouth full. While he seems to be
momentarily distracted in his amusement, I release his cock to bring my hand back to my mouth
for a little more lubrication and swiftly return my attentions to him with vigor. His muffled cry

nearly sends me over the edge and the hand I have in his hair tightens into a fist, making him
groan while the speed of his movements increase and he sucks me even harder.

“Shit, Edward…I’m about to come,” I gasp.

I expect him to move and finish me off with his hand. Not once has a girl ever let me come in her
mouth; not even Alice.

Edward. Doesn’t. Move.

Gritting my teeth, I groan, “Edward…fuck!”

He moans just before I feel him swallow around me as I shoot into his mouth. Quickly, I’m
reduced to a whimpering, panting mess as my balls continue to empty into him. For several
moments, my mind is filled with nothing resembling rational thought. Edward’s a fucking pro.

“Christ, Edward. So fucking incredible,” I whisper as my orgasm begins to subside.

As my heart rate starts to return to normal, I can’t help but think how baffling this is to me that
I’ve chased girls for years, had what I thought at the time was amazing sex…countless times, and
nothing, nothing compares to what I’ve experienced with Edward in the past couple of days.
Every woman I’ve been with, even Alice, who I’ve always considered top fucking notch, pales in
comparison. It slays me to think that the perfect lover has been right under my nose all this time;
Edward, my best friend. We’ve known each other for nearly twenty years and I’ve been so
fucking blind from the beginning.

Edward is now looking at me, cheeks flushed, eyes dancing with laughter and lust, and with
those lush lips parted in that sexy fucking smirk. His soft, pink tongue darts out to lick his lips
and the motion causes a shiver to wrack my body as he leans in for a kiss. Just before he touches
his lips to mine, he whispers, “Is this okay?” Smiling, I nod my assent before weaving my hands
into his hair and pulling him to me. Our tongues instantly meet and I taste traces of a salty flavor
that I realize must be mine. Thoroughly expecting to be repulsed, I’m actually quite shocked to
find that it’s not that bad. Different, yes. Something of an acquired taste, most definitely.

That last thought makes me chuckle against Edward’s mouth and he pulls back from the kiss,
raising an eyebrow. “Now what’s so funny?” he asks with a smirk.

“I was just thinking about how a guy’s cum may be an acquired taste,” I reply, rolling my eyes at
how ridiculous the statement sounds. Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks it sounds
ridiculous because he throws his head back and laughs heartily.

Edward’s now straddling my lap with his hands gripping the headboard as he leans in for another
kiss. His erect cock brushes my belly and I feel like an ass because I realize that he hasn’t gotten
off yet. My heart leaps in my throat at the thought that he may want me to reciprocate, and I’m
not quite sure I’m ready for that step yet. True, I dreamed about this very thing a little over
twenty-four hours ago, but that was just a dream. His hot, hard dick pressing into me right now is

a very stark reality, and my pulse begins to race as I wonder if I’m gonna have what it takes to
even make it worthwhile for him. Shit, it’s one thing to jerk him off, because I have plenty of
experience in that department in the fucking shower for Christ’s sake. It’s an entirely different
thing to give him a blow job. Could I do that? Would I even be good at it?

He places his hand on my chest and I’m sure he feels my heart pounding beneath his palm.

Snickering, he says, “Calm down, Jasper. I’m not about to ask you to suck my dick.” He leans
forward to gently kiss my neck, making my heart pound even harder.

For a brief moment, I wonder if I should offer to anyway. Thinking better of it, I decide not to. I
wouldn’t want to do something like that and have him think it’s only because I felt obligated.
That would certainly take the fun out of it.

Settling on the next best thing, I make a show of making my palm slick with my saliva before
gripping his cock again. His eyes flutter closed just before he begins to thrust into my hand.
Letting him control the movements, I squeeze my fist tighter around him, eliciting a low groan
originating deep from within his chest. My free hand slips down to squeeze his ass as I lean
forward to whisper in his ear.

“Does that feel good, Edward?”

“Ugghh…fuck yes,” he grunts.

“You wanna know what I was dreaming about when you woke me up yesterday morning, baby?”
My heart skips a beat at the ease with which the term of endearment slips past my lips.

Edward doesn’t verbally answer; he just nods his head furiously in response.

“I had you pushed against my door and I was on my knees before you,” I whisper before kissing
the sensitive spot just below his ear.

Edward’s head drops to my shoulder before he moans, “Oh God…”

“I had your dick in my mouth, sucking it hard and deep into my throat, pressing my tongue ring
into your flesh,” I let my voice trail off as I concentrate on Edward thrusting madly into my fist,
my hand a bit more slick now due to the precum that has leaked from him.

My name falls from his lips in a ragged whimper as he presses his forehead to the headboard.
Dipping my head to his chest, I let my tongue dart out to tease one of his nipples.

“Guh, fuck, Jazz!”

Encouraged, I press my tongue harder against the pebbled bud and manipulate it with my tongue
ring. Edward growls before pounding the wall with his fist. “Coming…”

After two more deep thrusts, I feel hot streams of cum hit my belly, causing me to moan against
his skin. His movements cease moments later and I turn my head to lean against Edward’s chest,
feeling his heart pounding, listening to the sound of his heavy breathing against my shoulder.

Before long, Edward collapses against me, arms tightly wrapped around my shoulders and lips
pressed to my neck. Wrapping my arms around him, I pull him close, completely ignoring the
fact that his climax made a bit of a mess.

Edward turns his head to kiss me just as there’s a loud pounding on my door.

What the fuck?

“Jasperrrr….guess what day it is?” Jacob calls out in a ridiculous sing-song voice.

I pull back from Edward and panic settles briefly in the pit of my stomach. What will Jacob think
if he knew that Edward and I were in bed together? Do I want him to know?

“Um…the day after yesterday?” I call back to him.

Edward, unfazed, begins to kiss and nibble my neck, causing me to squirm beneath him.

“Up and at em, man! It’s Sunday and I need pancakes!”

Hell. It sure is Sunday. About a year ago I made the mistake of making a shitload of pancakes for
the four of us a couple Sunday mornings in a row. A couple instances of generosity turned into
Jacob declaring it a tradition and not letting me skip a fricken Sunday. Whether I wanted to be or
not, I had become Jacob’s pancake bitch.

But, Christ! This morning of all fucking mornings? I’m more than just a bit reluctant to leave my
little bliss bubble at the moment.

“You want ‘em, you make ‘em, Jake. I’m sleeping in, damn it!” I’m forced to bite my lip as
Edward continues to practically worship my neck.

“I’m gonna give you to the count of ten and I’m coming in there and draggin’ your ass outta bed,
boy.”

He’s pretty fucking serious about his pancakes, and I have no doubt whatsoever that he’d make
good on his threat.

Edward gives me one last kiss before climbing off of me and getting out of bed. Following suit, I
get up and grab Edward’s slut hugger shirt out of the hamper to clean up before pulling on my
jeans that were still on the floor. Edward pulls on his jeans before flopping backwards back onto
the bed as I make my way towards the door. Glancing in my mirror, it’s very easy to tell that I
didn’t spend the night just sleeping. My hair’s fucking everywhere, my skin’s flushed and I’m
covered in a light sheen of sweat. Not to mention the fact that I have a nice little bite mark on my

shoulder; all courtesy of Edward.

Time to see how well Jacob’s paying attention.

I open the door far enough to stand in the doorway but not far enough so Jacob can see Edward
in my bed. After dragging my hand down my face, I say, “Jacob, really. It’s Bisquick. Follow the
directions on the back of the box and fucking quadruple the recipe for your hungry ass. It’s not
rocket science.”

Of course, he’s not paying attention to a word I’m saying because his eyes are giving me a once
over.

He totally knows.

Snickering, he says, “Dude, you’re post coital. Who’s here?” He tries to peek around me but I
shift my weight from one foot to the other to block his view.

“Oh, now I have to know!” he says as he pushes the door out of my grasp.

Holding my breath and looking down at my feet, I wait for his reaction.

“Well, I’ll be God damned. ‘Bout fucking time. Helping him work out another charley horse,
Edward?”

My head snaps up to look at Jacob as he throws his head back in laughter. Finally focusing on
me, he says, “Jazz, I may not be a rocket scientist, but I’m not stupid.”

Not missing a beat, he grabs me by the shoulders and looks me directly in the eye. “Now, Jasper.
I’m only gonna say this once. Hit the shower, de-sex yourself and then get your ass downstairs
and make me some pancakes.”

Before he can turn away, I flip him off to which he quirks his head and replies, “Now wouldn’t
that be Edward’s job?” With a wide shit-eating grin, he heads for the stairs, presumably to wait
at the table for his fucking pancakes.

I’m fucking stunned. Jacob wasn’t surprised, which now apparently makes me the fucking poster
child for “Oblivious”. Do they make drugs for this shit?

Turning around I’m hit with an episode of déjà vu as I see Edward curled into a fetal position,
convulsing in silent laughter.

“I’m glad you found that so amusing.”

His laughter is no longer silent as the air rings out with an enthusiastic guffaw. His face is nearly
scarlet and his eyes are squeezed shut while his arms are wrapped tightly around his middle as
his entire body seizes in his hilarity.

Oh yeah. The saying “ignorance is bliss” is a crock of shit.

Crossing the room over to the bed, I push Edward onto his back and climb on top of him. His
laughter dies off to choked snickers and he has to wipe tears from his eyes.

Leaning forward, I nuzzle the sweet spot behind his ear with my nose and whisper, “I’ve been
given orders to shower and ‘de-sex’ myself. Wanna join me?”

After taking a few beats to catch his breath, he murmurs, “Mmmm….very tempting. Wouldn’t be
wise, though.”

I suck his ear lobe for a brief moment before responding. “And why’s that?”

Edward slides his hands down my back and into my jeans, gripping my ass and causing me to
moan in his ear.

“Because I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from bending you over and taking your cherry.”

A couple of days ago, if someone were to even make a joke about dropping the soap, I would
have shuddered at the very least, and not fucking twenty minutes ago I was nervous about the
idea of giving Edward a blow job. So it surprises me to no end that Edward’s suggestion about
fucking me causes me to involuntarily whimper and bury my face in his neck, all the while
contemplating taking the decision out of his hands and begging him to do it right the fuck now.

And to top it all off, I just went from zero to hard in three point five seconds.

“Edward, that’s quite unfair. I have a bit of a problem now,” I whisper into his ear.

“Well then, I suggest you take care of that in the shower,” he purrs before turning his head to
kiss me.

I groan before pulling away from him and climbing back off the bed. Just before I reach the door,
I glance back at Edward over my shoulder and he gives me a fucking wink.

“Kiss my ass, Masen,” I grumble just as I grasp the doorknob.

In no time flat, Edward’s off the bed and behind me, slamming the door shut. I yank my hand
back and yelp because he came that fucking close to slamming the door on my fingers as I went
to open it.

Chuckling in my ear, he says, “You know damn well I want to do more than just kiss your ass,
Cullen.”

I practically melt as he grasps my hips and drags me into his body. Reaching around with one
hand, he deftly opens my fly and reaches inside my jeans to grip my cock. Using one of his feet,

he kicks mine apart to widen my stance, much like a police officer would before he frisks a
suspect. Both of my hands are planted on the door and my head is hanging between my
shoulders.

Edward uses the hand not grasping my erection to hold fast to my hip as he grinds his denim clad
erection….right there.

“Holy Christ….oh Jesus….fucking hell!” I can’t help but cry out to both deities and demons
alike because my body feels like it’s fucking possessed as Edward presses into me. My hips are
now moving of their own volition, pressing back as he repeatedly grinds himself against my ass.

“Shit, Jasper…I love how fucking sensitive you are. We’re not even undressed and you’re
dissolving.”

I jerk in his grasp as I feel him reverently kiss the small of my back. Without even realizing I’m
doing it, I lower my upper body so it’s nearly parallel with the floor. Edward sighs deeply while
stroking my back from my shoulders to the waist band of my jeans.

“So beautiful. Christ, Jazz I can’t wait to fuck you. Just like this.” To emphasize his point, he
releases my cock from his grip and, after firmly grabbing my hips in his hands begins to thrust
himself against me, over and over again.

My mouth falls open but no sound escapes because he has literally taken my fucking breath
away. I’m about to lose it. Again. I can’t fucking believe the effect Edward has on me.

Not even thinking about it, I drop one of my hands from the door and begin to stroke my cock
with a vengeance.

“Ung,” Edward grunts. “That’s it…pump yourself and imagine my dick buried inside you.”

“Oh, fuck…” I’m now jerking off like I’m trying to get in the Guiness Book of World Records
for ‘Fastest Wank Ever’. Edward has me so twisted, I just desperately need to come…right now.

Edward’s now slamming into me, his voice hoarse as various expletives pour from his lips. The
fact that it sounds like he’s about to come shoves me right the fuck over the edge.

“Ahh…shit!” I cry out as I explode in my hand.

Edward follows damn near immediately and he sounds as if he’s biting his bottom lip because I
hear a muffled scream as he thrusts against me one last time and falls forward onto my back.

I feel like I just ran the Boston Marathon right after swimming the English Channel. Fuck, I
don’t know if I’m gonna be able to stand upright ever again.

Edward’s cheek is pressed into my back and I can feel his breath in strained gasps across my
skin.

“You better….get in the shower….before we….fucking kill each other,” he pants.

He helps me stand up before handing me the slut hugger shirt of glory once again.

“You might want to consider keeping tissues or something in here, Jazz,” Edward snickers.

“Fuck, if last night and this morning are any indication, I’m gonna need to keep a fucking bath
towel on hand,” I respond while cleaning up the mess I made.

As I toss it back in the hamper, I hear Jacob’s bellows from downstairs. “Jazz…fuck later!
Pancakes now!”

Just as I roll my eyes, Edward’s behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Jasper, I hope you know I’m not gonna be able to stop myself from touching you now,” he
murmurs before kissing my shoulder.

“I don’t know if I want you to stop yourself,” I sigh, leaning into his touch.

Edward groans into my skin. “Jasper….you…you’re like a drug to me. Like my own personal
brand of heroin. I’ve wanted you for so long and now that I’ve had a taste, I’m fucking
addicted,” he whispers just before brushing his lips up the side of my neck and kissing me below
the ear.

My chest tightens at his words because I’m pretty sure he’s not just referring to my body.

And I’m fucking scared to death.

**********

A/N So….hope this chapter was worth the wait! Thank y’all so much for the reviews and
favoriting and all the fucking warm and fuzzies I get as a result!

You know what else gives me the warm and fuzzies?? The fact that WIFTR is creeping up
on 1000 reviews!! How fuckawesome is that?? Very. After chatting with beate73 about this
(ok, so I was gushing like a three-year-old and she was calmly chatting…), she suggested
that I should post an extra chapter/outtake to celebrate. I adore how her mind works.
So….once we hit 1000 reviews, I’m going to post a lil chapter….in EPOV. :D Anyone
excited? No? Well, I am, so there :P

In other news, my latest one shot-soon-to-be-multi-chapter-fic “Need an Excuse” is up for
voting in Round 2 of the For the Love of Jasper contest. Check out
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~fortheloveofjasper and click on the poll to check out all the
entries in Round 2. Read and vote for *cough*NeedAnExcuse*cough* your favorites! :D

As always….review! Pimp! Pic spam me with E/J Porn! :D


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Chapter: 15


A/N SM owns Twilight and all related characters.

Mucho thanks go out to my betas Dark Absynthe and Touchstone67 for helping me to be a
better writer…don’t know what I’d do without you ladies! Thanks also to beate73 for
coming up with the idea of the extra chapter and for all her help with suggestions to make
sense of the jarbled mess that floats around in my head. *tacklesnuggles all three gals in a
big ole slash h00r pile* MUAH!!!

Thank y’all so much for giving me reason to celebrate for getting WIFTR more than 1000
reviews! *huge hugs and sloppy kisses for the best fans ever*

The following mini chapter is a flashback in EPOV. This takes place in Edward and
Jasper’s sophomore year in high school; the semester immediately following the summer
Jasper spent in Texas visiting his grandparents.

Warning: 0% smut (oh, so sorry!), 100% angsty Edward, and brief use of hate speech
follow.

Now…let’s see a little of what makes our broody boy tick, shall we?

********

He hates me; I’m pretty sure of it. There’s no other explanation for what he’s doing right now.

Ok, I’ll admit it; that’s not entirely fair since I’m the chickenshit who can't bring myself to talk to
him. I had every intention of doing just that before he left for his grandparents’ place only to
completely lose my nerve when he invited me to go with him.

Those people would have eaten me for lunch. Bigots, all of them.

And let’s not forget straight; they wouldn’t hesitate to make an example out of me.

Lord knows he didn’t hesitate. He made it abundantly and horrifyingly clear that I’d forever be
punished for the way I feel about Jasper. He was a man I trusted, looked up to. For him to bring
me to my present state of confusion, shame, and utter fear of those around me filled me with
such a rage that I was shocked at how I was able to contain it. Sometimes it became almost too

much and I would give anything to share my burden, but just the thought of telling anyone, let
alone Jasper would send me into a panic attack.

My love for Jasper shouldn’t be a crime; my punishment was the crime.

While trying desperately to convince myself of this every time I look into Jasper’s jade eyes, I
fail miserably. His words play on an endless loop in my head practically screaming at me.

You’ll only taint him. Jasper's a good boy; not a faggot like you. God punishes faggots.

Right now I’m certainly being punished.

I’m sitting at my desk in Biology and the room’s nearly empty. Class isn’t due to start for a good
ten minutes and I’m just a big enough dork to have been here for nearly twenty. I left lunch early
since I couldn’t bring myself to swallow the rancid fodder the Board of Education had the nerve
to call “food”, so here I sit, with my face nearly buried in my folded arms, eyes peeking out and
over at Jasper talking with the new girl in the doorway.

He may or may not be flirting with her.

It’s hard to tell with Jasper. He’s so amazingly warm and friendly, so quick to smile and laugh,
and he’s “touchy”…much to my chagrin.

New Girl has her arms tightly wrapped around her middle and she’s looking at her shoes. She’s
also blushing.

He must be flirting with her.

Jasper throws his head back and laughs at something she said and when he turns his head, he
notices me sitting on the opposite side of the room. His eyes light up and his face is consumed by
his beautiful smile and dimples and I’m torn between being thrilled and heartbroken that he
reacts that way when he sees me. If he simply tolerated me, it would be so much easier to move
on. But no, he has to go and act like I’m fricken Elvis, back from the dead and offering to
autograph his guitar for him.

“And speaking of the devil…Edward, get over here!” Jasper calls out to me.

Wait…he’s talking about me…with her?

I’ve become a master at hiding my emotions, so he has no way of knowing that my smirk and
narrowed gaze has nothing to do with me being a smart ass and everything to do with me
desperately wanting things to be different.

Sauntering over to Jasper’s side, I keep my eyes on New Girl and, as if it’s possible, she blushes
even harder.

What the...?

After reaching Jasper’s side, he wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. I stiffen
as I feel his energy buzz right through me and can’t help but wonder if he feels it, too. Glancing
up at his face and seeing no reaction, I realize that it’s just me.

I’m the freak.

Deciding not to dwell on it, I turn my attention to New Girl and give her a half-hearted smirk.
Apparently it comes across as more than just a little half-hearted to her because she smiles back
and bites her lip.

Uhhh…why do I care?

Trying to pay attention to what Jasper’s saying proves to be fruitless however, as I’m simply lost
in the sensation of just being in his half-embrace. I can recall with perfect clarity every time he’s
had his arms around me and because I’m such a weakling, the opportunity has presented itself on
numerous occasions.

The first time was when he and I were both ten years old and camping out in his and Emmett’s
backyard. The four of us decided to have a small camp fire, roast marshmallows, make s'mores,
and tell ghost stories. The weather was beautiful, and we were able to camp out in our sleeping
bags under the cover of stars. Total kiddy fun crap; it was epic. That is, until I woke up in the
middle of the night to the most God awful howling, and Emmett and Jacob gone. In a sweaty
panic, I sat up in my sleeping bag and began to tremble furiously until I saw that Jasper was
sprawled out on top of his sleeping bag a few feet away. Kicking my way out of the vinyl covers,
I crawled over to him, shaking him awake.

“Jasper….Jasper! Wake up! Jacob and Emmett are gone and there’s something out there
howling. Please, Jasper, wake up!” I was near tears at this point, I was so scared.

Sitting up on top of his sleeping bag, Jasper rubbed his eyes and looked around. Before he could
open his mouth, the howling ripped through the air around us again and I launched myself at
him, scrambling into his lap.

“Good grief, Edward!” he squawked. He was scared too, though. My hand was on his chest and I
could feel his heart pounding.

After several moments, another howl erupted, followed by a couple of snickers. Jasper shook his
head and said, “They’re playing a trick on us. I can see y’all! You’re so not funny, you
nimrods!”

Following Jasper’s gaze, I could just make out the shapes of Emmett and Jacob in a tree,
laughing hysterically.

Regardless of knowing that there was no danger and that Emmett and Jacob were safe, I was still

terrified. All the creatures of the night seemed to be raising a ruckus and I couldn’t help but
wonder if we weren’t safe after all. This thought made my scrawny frame tremble even harder as
I remained in Jasper’s lap.

“Edward what’s wrong? They’re fine, see? There’s no big bad wolf out there so we’re all safe,”
Jasper assured.

“This was a bad idea. I don’t wanna camp out here anymore. I wanna go inside.” I was
blubbering like a fricken idiot.

“If we go inside right now, we’ll wake up my parents and get in trouble.” My body began to
shake even harder because I was ready to bolt for the door regardless of what Jasper had just
said.

With a sigh, Jasper offered, “Would you feel better if we shared a sleeping bag?”

I considered his offer briefly, feeling like such a baby for wanting to immediately say, “Yes”.
Swallowing hard, I nodded in agreement, and Jasper slipped inside his sleeping bag, holding it
open for me. Quickly, I climbed in, and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around me and pull
me into his chest. Immediately, I felt at peace and easily drifted off to sleep.

It was quite a bit further down the road from that night when I finally began questioning why the
feeling of being in his arms felt so right, and even further down the road when that despicable
man made me believe that it was so very wrong.

Bringing my thoughts back to the present, I realize that Jasper’s still chattering to New Girl with
his arm still wrapped around me.

“And you know what else?” Jasper asks. “He just started Tae Kwon Do training, so if anyone
messes with you, he can totally kick their ass, right Edward?”

Scoffing, I say, “Whatever you say, Jazz.”

Jasper laughs before pulling me closer. “So modest. I absolutely love this man,” he says just
before playfully kissing me on top of the head.

It was a miracle that I didn’t keel over right then and there, but something about New Girl’s
smile held my attention long enough for me to regain my senses.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I didn’t catch your name,” I say with a smile.

After biting her lip she replies, “Isabella Swan. But you can call me Bella.”

*********

A/N If you’re asking yourself, “WTF?” worry not…everything will be revealed in due time.

I just hope this mini chapter helps to explain a little of what’s going on inside Edward’s
head.

As always, review! Pimp! Give Edward a hug….he needs one desperately.


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Chapter: 16


A/N SM owns Twilight and all related characters. I own the sincere desire to see Edward
and Jasper get all snuggly making pancakes….

Thanks as always go to my fuckawesome betas Dark Absynthe and Touchstone67 who keep
me from overabusing certain words and pointing out the fact that I seem to be allergic to
commas…. Thank you for keeping my shit readable ;)

Thanks also go to all my peeps that so readily lend an ear and tons of wonderful
suggestions.

3 y’all hard….but you probably already knew that ;)

Now…I think Jacob’s still hungry…..

*********

Edward groans into my skin. “Jasper….you…you’re like a drug to me. Like my own personal
brand of heroin. I’ve wanted you for so long and now that I’ve had a taste, I’m fucking
addicted,” he whispers just before brushing his lips up the side of my neck and kissing me below
the ear.

My chest tightens at his words because I’m pretty sure he’s not just referring to my body.

And I’m fucking scared to death.

*********

Staring into the bowl of pancake batter, I start to panic a little. Did I already add the baking
powder? What if I leave it out? What would happen if there's too much? Suddenly, my second
tour of duty through Professor Banner’s Chemistry class proves to be just as helpful as the first.

It would serve Jake right if I put in too much and his pancakes explode in his face.

“Anything I can do to help?”

I turn my head slightly to see Bella at my side with her back to the counter.

“Hey, girl. I didn’t even hear you come in the kitchen.” How long has she been standing there?

“You looked pretty deep in thought there,” she says with a smile.

Oh, you have no idea.

“So, help? Need any?” she offers again.

“Um…yeah. Can you just grab the vanilla from that shelf right there?” I ask, pointing at the
small glass bottle on the shelf in the cabinet directly behind her.

As she turns to grab the bottle of vanilla extract, she says, “You know the basic recipe calls for
just eggs and milk. Maybe if you didn’t use the supreme crack recipe, Jake wouldn’t be bugging
you every week.”

Jacob’s voice calls out from the laundry room, “Don’t you go giving him any ideas, woman!”

Snickering, I add the extract to the batter before grabbing the electric hand mixer from the
cabinet above the stove.

“Really, I don’t mind. I just wanted to sleep in this morning. The last thing I felt like doing was
leaving my bed.” My face heats up at the mere thought of what I’d rather be doing at this very
moment.

After I turn on the mixer, Bella slides a bit closer to me, crossing her arms over her chest before
smirking and raising an eyebrow.

“That reminds me, I gave Edward a kick in the ass last night to talk to you. I waited up for him to
return to his room for quite a while but next thing I know, I’m waking up on his couch and his
bed’s still made. So, the fact that he never came back to his room would mean that things either
went very poorly, or very well. And I’m going to venture a guess, since you’re as red as a cherry
right now, that things went very well.” She finishes her statement with a wink and my skin heats
even more at her analogy since that’s the second time I heard the word, “cherry” this morning.
My dick begins to harden as I replay Edward’s words in my head.

“…I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from bending you over and taking your cherry.”

In an attempt to hide my problem from Bella, I press myself against the counter.

“Uh, Bella, I really don’t feel comfortable having this conversation with you.“ Having this
discussion with Edward's ex would probably be just as enjoyable as having it with my mother. I'd
love nothing more than to drop it.

“Oh please, Jasper. I’ve been on him to make a fucking move on you for months.”

Before I can open my mouth to respond, two warm, strong arms wrap around my waist, followed
by a clean-shaven cheek nuzzling my neck. I’m unable to keep myself from leaning into his body
and sighing happily. It amazes me that I’ve never know such contentment from being in
someone’s arms until now.

The metallic clanging of the beaters making contact with the side of the stainless steel mixing
bowl brings me out of my reverie as I remember that I’m in the middle of making pancakes, and
Bella’s standing there watching us. She ruffles the hair on both of our heads before getting a
glass from the cabinet and walking over to the fridge to grab the gallon of milk. After pouring
herself a glass, she practically inhales its contents. Refilling the glass, she empties the second just
as quickly as the first.

“Thirsty?” Edward asks with a chuckle.

“Can’t get enough milk lately,” she says, wiping the milk mustache off her upper lip with her
arm.

“Cravings already?” I ask with a smirk.

Bella raises her eyebrow and Edward suddenly stiffens against me.

Oh, fuck. She probably didn’t want me knowing about the baby.

“Wow, Edward. You didn’t even wait an entire day before spilling that little tidbit of
information, did you?” she scoffs.

Quickly, I backpedal and try to save Edward a bit of grief since it was my own damn fault for
being nosy. “Bella, Edward didn’t come out and tell me. I heard you tell him you were pregnant
the day you arrived. I was scared that something was wrong so I stood just outside the door after
you asked me to leave the room.” I can’t even bring my eyes up to look at her. Instead, I keep
them fixed on the bowl as I continue to beat the lumps out of the pancake batter.

Leaning in close, she drops her voice a bit and says, “Is that what your problem has been, Jasper?
When you found out I was pregnant, did you assume that the baby was Edward’s?”

I turn off the mixer, setting it off to the side and look down at my feet, still not able to make eye
contact with her.

“Well, that’ll teach you to listen in on other people’s conversations, then won’t it?” she
grumbles.

“Bella,” Edward cautions, “he just told you that he was concerned for you. Frankly, after the
state you arrived in, I’d be worried if Jasper wasn’t trying to find out what was going on.”

Grateful that he defended me, I finally bring my eyes up to look at Bella and instead of seeing
anger on her face, I see that her expression is laced with embarrassment. Truly, I can’t blame her;
it’s not the most ideal situation to find yourself in.

“Bella, I’m sorry,” I start to apologize.

“No, no…don’t apologize, Jasper. Keeping the baby a secret would mean that I was ashamed of
it, and I’m not. I’m just embarrassed by my lack of judgment, that’s all. I planned on telling you
guys before too long anyway."

Jacob comes out of the laundry room with a basket full of clothes and asks, “Telling us what?”

Bella toes the grout of the tile in front of her with her shoe before tucking a lock of hair behind
her ear. I haven’t seen her this nervous since her first day at school when she moved to Phoenix
from Jacksonville to live with her father.

“That...um…that I, uh…I’m having a baby,” she responds, looking at her feet.

Jacob raises his eyebrows and shifts the weight of the laundry basket in his arms as he processes
this information.

Edward releases me from his embrace and turns to lean his back against the counter beside me as
I glance back and forth between Bella and Jacob.

“Well, uh…congratulations?” His statement is more of a question as he follows it by mouthing
the words, “It is yours?” to Edward.

“Christ, can’t anyone ask me that question, please? No, Jake, it’s not Edward’s baby.” Clearly
she’s aggravated, and I really can’t blame her. Lord knows I should have asked her directly.

“Whew! That would certainly put a damper on things now wouldn’t it, guys? I mean, no offense,
Bells. Still congratulations, I’m happy for you.” In three long strides, he crosses the kitchen and
leans down to give Bella a small kiss on the top of her head.

In a deep, grumbling, grizzly bear voice, Emmett asks, “What would put a damper on what?
What are we celebrating? Are we getting pancakes this morning?”

“Morning, Emmett,” Edward says with a beaming smile as he hops up on the counter right next
to the mixing bowl.

Emmett is wrapped up in a gigantic blue fleece blanket that drags on the floor and barely allows
his face to peek out as he shuffles across the kitchen to the fridge. Pulling out a carton of orange
juice, he begins to chug heartily as Edward answers his questions.

“The fact that Bella might have been pregnant with my baby would have put a damper on me and

Jasper seeing each other. We’re celebrating the news that Bella’s pregnant. Yes, we’re getting
pancakes,” he answers all of Emmett’s questions in turn, matter-of-factly, which causes Emmett
to spray a mouthful of orange juice across the entire length of the kitchen.

Of course, Emmett already knew that Bella was pregnant because of our conversation yesterday.
So, he’s either feigning surprise over Bella’s pregnancy for my sake, or he’s as surprised as I was
to learn that it’s not Edward’s baby, or he caught on to the little subtle hint that Edward and I
have crossed the line of friendship into different territory. Of course, it could be all of these, but
it doesn’t really matter since everyone’s laughing at Emmett’s reaction as he sets down the
carton of juice to get something to wipe up the mess he’s created.

After the mess is dealt with, he turns to address Bella. “Wow, Bella. Congrats, hon,” Emmett
says, clearing his throat as he wraps her up in his blanket for a hug. Other than the blanket, he's
wearing a pair of blue boxers, and we should probably count ourselves lucky that he's at least
wearing those.

“Thank you, Emmett. And I must say, you’re incredibly warm, nearly naked, and smell like sex,”
she responds after pulling out of his embrace. Edward comes dangerously close to falling off the
countertop, rolling with laughter, while I almost drop the electric griddle after retrieving it from
its place in the cabinet beneath the stove.

“Well, Christ-in-a-circle-jerk! Are Bella and I the only ones who didn’t get any last night?
Where’s the fairness in that shit?” Jacob exclaims, heading up the stairs with his laundry.

Emmett chuckles, asking, “So, Jasper. Do I take that to mean that you and Edward…uh…got
some last night?”

I ignore him, coating the griddle in non-stick cooking spray.

From upstairs Jacob yells, “They were fucking like bunnies this morning, Emmett! Don’t let
them tell you any different!”

As I open my mouth to correct him, Edward shouts up in Jacob’s direction, “I didn’t fuck him,
Jake! If I did the neighbors would have called the cops in response to all the screaming!”

“Jesus, Edward!” I hiss. My skin is on fire from fucking embarrassment.

“Well, I heard plenty of carrying on this morning after I got up to use the restroom. And if Jasper
wasn’t caterwauling from getting fucked, then Edward must be one goddamned talented guy.”

Except for Emmett, who was currently wrapping her in his blanket, everyone else in the room
stares at Rosalie slack-jawed, either in response to her statement or the fact that Emmett’s
extensive efforts to get her in his bed finally paid off.

Clearing my throat, I finally manage to say, “Good morning, Rosalie.”

She simply wiggles her fingers at me in greeting since her mouth is otherwise occupied with my
brother’s and I turn to look at Edward, who has resorted to snorting while trying to conceal his
laughter.

“What?” he finally asks.

Smiling at him, I ignore his question and begin to spoon the pancake batter onto the heated
griddle. Edward dips his finger into the mixing bowl, gathering a bit of batter on his finger
before bringing it to his mouth and making a grand show of sucking it clean. I’m watching this
out of the corner of my eye, but if Edward was looking to get some kind of embarrassing
reaction out of me, like a groan, then mission accomplished.

“What?” he asks again. “The batter’s good with all that extra sugar and shit you put in it. You
know what would taste really good though?” He doesn’t wait for my answer before dipping his
finger back in the bowl and gathering more batter.

“You know, I’m sure everyone else would appreciate you keeping your hands out of the batter,
so…..Jesus!” Effectively cutting me off, Edward had taken his batter-coated finger and made a
trail on my neck that he quickly moved in to lick off.

“Oh, get a room, you two!” Bella chides.

“We had a room until someone decided to drag Jasper out to make some fucking pancakes, so
excuse me while I enjoy them!” he responds. Gathering some more of the batter with his finger,
he slides it across my lips before leaning in to kiss me.

For a few brief moments, I forget that we’re not alone in the kitchen, my entire body throbing
from Edward’s electric current. I get lost in the sensation of his soft, full lips moving against
mine and the firm flick of his tongue swiping the batter and sliding into my mouth. Grasping the
back of his head, I pull him closer and hum in sheer fucking bliss, pouring all of my nervous, and
once again aroused, energy into him. Finally, he pulls away from me, panting, as I smile and bite
my lip before returning to the task at hand.

Bella chuckles as she gets out plates and silverware and starts to set the table.

I hear Jacob bound down the steps, returning to the kitchen. After retrieving the butter and syrup
from the fridge, he lends Bella a hand with setting the table. Edward hops off the counter, and
once again, wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles my neck.

Earlier in my bedroom, I had been scared at what Edward was implying when he said that he had
wanted me for so long and was addicted to me. On the surface, I can handle the fact that he’s
lusted after me and was already addicted to my body following our encounters over the past few
days. What I'm not so sure that I can handle is that he was hinting at something much more
serious than just a physical relationship, which is all I’ve ever had up until this point. He likened
me to a drug; heroin of all things. People, once hooked, don’t take heroin because they want to,
they take it because they need to, feeling that without it, they would die. Is that how he sees me?

Regardless of what this could mean, I’m overwhelmed by the sheer rightness of being in his
arms. I’ve never been able to just melt in a girl’s embrace. Actually, I can’t recall ever being in a
girl's arms, other than during sex and that’s always been rushed; a frantic race to the finish line
followed by a, “Gimme a call some time,” from either the girl or myself. Even after being with
Alice for two years, we never just held each other. So, it doesn’t escape my notice that I’ve been
in Edward’s arms several times since just last night, nor does it escape my notice that I find
myself eagerly awaiting the next time he wraps himself around me.

As if reading my thoughts, Edward tightens his arms around my waist and practically buries his
face in my shoulder, breathing in my scent through my t-shirt. Turning his head slightly, he
whispers in my ear, “Is this okay? I realize it may be too late, but I don’t want to make you feel
uncomfortable. Should I back off?”

Burrowing back against him, “No, please don’t. I’m fine.” I turn my head to brush my lips
against his as he smiles and holds me tighter.

After flipping the first batch of pancakes onto the waiting platter, I hand it off to Jacob, watching
him grab four for his plate. Turning back to the griddle, I spoon on more batter while Edward
alternates between kissing my shoulder blades and brushing his nose against the back of my
neck.

It’s not long before I picture this being just us. It’s a completely foreign concept to me. I’ve
never once pictured any kind of future, wondering what it would be like if we had a place of our
own, with any of my past girlfriends. Foreign or not, it doesn’t stop me from imagining this very
scenario with Edward, making meals in a kitchen of our own, with his arms around me, telling
me about his day, talking about what we wanted to do over the weekend, or what he wanted to
do with me once we were done eating. Of course, this line of daydreaming leads me imagine the
two of us making love until we’re too exhausted to move.

Making love. That’s another foreign concept. Can I see myself loving Edward? I mean, I already
love him. We’ve been best friends since we were toddlers and have always been tight, but could
I love him romantically? You can’t make love with someone unless you’re in love with them,
right? Even, sweet, slow sex is just sex unless you love the person.

I’m quickly drawn from my thoughts by Edward’s hands slipping beneath the hem of my t-shirt
and beginning to play with the drawstring of my gym shorts. The tickling sensation causes me to
jump, nearly burning myself on the griddle.

“This griddle’s pretty hot, Edward and you’re distracting me,” I whisper.

“Want me to take over?”

“You wanna flip pancakes?” He’s never offered before, and his question caught me off guard.

“Yeah…outta my way, boy,” he says, chuckling as he pulls me from the counter.

Taking the spatula away from me, he takes my place in front of the counter and starts poking at
the pancakes. I mirror his previous position by wrapping my arms around his waist, feeling him
taking in a big breath and letting it out in a sigh. Of course in doing so, he lets the spatula scrape
one of the pancakes and smears it on the griddle.

Laughing, he says, “Oops!”

Laughing right along with him, I rest my head on his shoulder and give him a lesson on the fine
art of flipping pancakes. “You have to wait until the edges bubble up and dry out a bit. Once that
happens you then test it by gently slipping the spatula beneath it. If it lifts up, you can flip it.”
My tone grows husky, because I’m quickly realizing that as much as I enjoy being in his arms,
holding him in mine is just as sweet.

Edward tests a pancake and after lifting it easily, flips it. Clearly pleased with himself, he
punches the air with his other hand and shouts, “Score!”

While we both laugh at his newfound success, Jacob grumbles around a mouthful, “Don’t you let
your boyfriend fuck up my pancakes, Jazz.”

Pausing briefly, I wonder if I’m comfortable with the idea of having a boyfriend. All this shit
over the past few days has been so overwhelming and before I make myself an anxious mess, I
turn my head to address Jacob.

“Don’t you worry, Jake . Your pancakes are in very good hands,” I respond with a wink.

Almost under his breath he snorts in response, “I certainly hope he washed those hands.”

“Back up,” Edward whispers to me. Doing as he asks, I let him go and watch him grab an egg
from the carton on the counter and whip around to chuck it in Jacob’s direction. He nails his
target right in the forehead with a victorious 'splat'! Before Jacob can react, Edward darts around
me and makes a beeline for the living room, hopping over the couch that has its back to the
doorway.

“Oh, I’m gonna fuck you up, you little bastard," Jake shouts, laughing as he jumps up from the
table and takes off after Edward.

Edward’s not a short guy by any means; he’s a bit over six feet tall. Jacob however, is 6’7”, and
is certainly a force to be reckoned with. Briefly, I feel a wave of concern for Edward’s safety,
watching Jacob launch his massive frame over the back of the couch and tackle Edward to the
ground.

“What now, dipshit?” he asks when he has Edward pinned beneath him. “You’re not so slick
now that you’re not armed with eggs are ya?”

To everyone’s amazement, Edward wriggles free and gets up into a crouching position. Jacob

matches his stance and darts at him in an attempt to take him down again, just before Edward
drops to the floor, sweeping out his leg and knocking Jacob’s feet out from under him.

They’re both cackling hysterically as Edward succeeds in pinning Jacob beneath him, holding
him immobile with his knees pressed into Jacobs hips and holding his hands above his head.
“Look at that, Jake. Bet you never thought you’d be swept off your feet by a guy now, did ya?”

“Fuck you,” Jacob responds, snickering.

“Now, the important question here is, ‘Who’s yer Daddy, Jake?’”

Lifting his head off the floor to get right in Edward’s face he growls, “Billy Black, bitch!”

“Now you know the correct answer to that question is, ‘Edward Masen’s my Daddy.’ Am I
right? Come on, Jake. You can admit it.”

Jacob’s trying his damndest to get free of Edward’s grip but amazingly enough, he can’t free
himself.

“Bite me,” Jacob spits out, still laughing.

Shaking his head, Edward switches his hand position so he can hold both of Jacob’s wrists in one
hand. “Nah, I’ll settle for this, though. Wet Willie!” Edward sucks one of his fingers into his
mouth and after pulling it out of with a loud, ‘pop’, sticks it in Jacob’s ear.

“Dick head! Get the fuck off of me!” he shouts, finally successful in pushing Edward off of him.

Making their way back to the kitchen, Jacob wraps his arm around Edward’s neck and uses his
other hand to dig his knuckles in Edward’s hair.

I had taken over flipping the pancakes, not wanting them to scorch while Edward and Jacob had
it out in the living room. As I start spooning more batter onto the griddle, Edward slips between
me and the counter to take his previous spot. “Now, where were we?” he asks, taking the serving
spoon from me and dipping it into the bowl. My arms immediately wrap around his waist and I
bury my nose in his neck, inhaling his scent - shampoo, body wash, and sweat - deep into my
lungs. Neither one of us is paying any attention which causes Edward to succeed in slopping
some batter onto the griddle, creating a mutant Mickey Mouse shaped pancake. “Well, shit,” he
says chuckling.

Eventually, the rest of the batter makes it onto the griddle and finally ends up on the platter in
some semblance of breakfast. Rosalie, apparently born without any shame, eats her pancakes
while sitting in Emmett’s lap. Edward has his chair situated close to me with one of his legs
hooked around mine. Otherwise, we’re behaving ourselves. Bella seems to have lost her appetite
watching Jacob demolish another stack of pancakes.

“I don’t understand how you can just wolf that down and not have it come right back up. Are you

even chewing?” she asks.

He answers her by opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue, showing her a mouthful of
completely masticated pancake mush which immediately makes the poor girl turn green.

“Oh Christ, I’m sorry, Bells,” he mumbles through his food, covering his mouth.

“I think I’m just gonna go lie down for a bit,” Bella remarks, leaving the table and bringing her
plate to the sink.

“Smooth move, fucker,” Emmett scoffs.

Once Bella leaves, Rosalie says, “So, I’m curious.”

Oh great, here we go.

“Just the other night, I saw you with some chick, who wasn’t Alice, and now you and Edward
are all lovey dovey this morning. Mind you, he’s still not Alice. So that begs the question: What
the fuck is going on?”

“Wow, Rosalie. You don’t have a fucking tactful bone in your entire body, do you?” I scoff.

“Nope! Not a one,” she says, making absolutely no apologies.

I guess I have to give her some amount of credit for speaking her mind. Most people would just
be content to look on, speculate and start rumors surrounding their theories. Rosalie would rather
get shit straight from the horse’s mouth.

“Well, if you want the God’s honest truth, Alice and I were never really a couple. We were fuck
buddies, nothing more. Right now we’re nothing at all. The girl that was with me the other night
at the restaurant was Claire. We met that night and we’re friends. Nothing more. Edward and I
have been best friends since we were fricken babies and right now, we’re…um…I don’t know
what you’d call it.” I follow my half-assed statement with a forkful of pancakes, hoping that
explanation is enough for her.

And of course it isn’t.

“Fuck buddies? Boyfriends? Lovers? Friends with benefits?” she asks.

Dropping my fork to my plate, I prepare to let her have it before Edward interrupts. “Rose,
Jasper and I are still in the process of coming to terms with certain things. I’d appreciate it if you
didn’t try to trivialize what is or isn’t going on between us. Furthermore, I’m sure I can speak for
Jasper when I say that I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go running your mouth about something
we’re not even sure of in the first place, if you catch my drift.”

Rosalie nods her head. “Fair enough,” she agrees after taking another bite of her pancake.

“If you don’t mind me asking though, how long have you been into guys? Was this an all-of-a-
sudden thing?” she asks looking at both of us.

“Rose!” Emmett hisses.

“What? I’m curious. They have the right to tell me to fuck off if they want.” She follows her
statement with a raised eyebrow, silently asking if the question is okay.

Edward sits back in his chair and clears his throat. “Well, I discovered I was bisexual five years
ago when I was still in high school. However, I’ve been into guys for as long as I can
remember.”

I almost miss the second part of his statement while taking a drink of my orange juice. As the
weight of his words sink in, I almost choke.

Rosalie simply nods in response and neither Emmett nor Jacob says a word.

One more thing I had failed to realize.

Turning to me she asks, “What about you?”

I imagine I’m giving her a look that resembles a deer caught in the headlights and I can’t force
out any words. After several moments of opening and closing my mouth I finally manage to
simply excuse myself from the table.

Completely ignoring her, I turn to Jacob and ask, “You’ve got clean up, right?” I don’t even wait
for his answer before I bolt up the stairs to my room.

Edward immediately follows and shuts the door to my bedroom behind him, leaning against it.

“Jasper?” he whispers.

I can’t answer him. The only thing I can do is take deep breaths, try to calm myself down and
pace back and forth in front of him.

After several long moments, Edward speaks again. “Please, Jasper. Talk to me.”

Letting out a deep breath, I finally ask, “How long?”

“How long what?”

“You told me that you’ve wanted me for so long. You just told Rosalie down there that you’ve
been into guys for as long as you could remember. So tell me, how long?”

He closes his eyes and lets out a shuddering breath before responding. “I realized that what I felt

for you was more than simple friendship when I was ten-years-old. When we camped out in your
backyard that time and Jacob played that prank on us, remember?”

Thinking back, I do recall that night. Jacob and Emmett climbed a tree in the middle of the night
while Edward and I were asleep in our sleeping bags. Jacob started howling like a wolf,
frightened the shit out of the both of us, and Edward ended up sharing my sleeping bag because
he was afraid to continue camping outside, even after we realized it was all a joke.

“You holding me in your arms, it just felt right, you know?” His voice begins to waiver and I
stop pacing to look at him.

Of course I know. I was thinking that very thing while we were in the kitchen. However, there is
one thing that’s bothering me a great deal.

“How come you never said anything, Edward?”

Sliding against the door, he sits down on the floor before saying anything. “I felt like a freak. I
knew I was different and you know what kind of people my parents are. Hell, your father’s
family is the same way.”

It’s true. My father, Jebediah Whitlock was raised to believe homosexuals were deviants. I never
met the man since he died while my mother was pregnant, but I was around his parents and
siblings enough to know what they believed. Esme, my mother, met and married Emmett’s
father, Carlisle soon after I was born. Luckily for me, my mother judged a person by their
character, not by the color of their skin, their religious background or who they loved. Even
luckier for me, Carlisle believed the same things. I’m proud to call him my father.

“The blood that flows through my veins may be Whitlock’s, but that’s not what I believe and you
know it. You didn’t hide this from Emmett or Jacob, why hide it from me?”

“I was gonna tell you. I planned to that summer you went to stay with your grandparents in
Texas right before our sophomore year, but I lost my nerve. It just so happened that someone
else suspected the fact that I had feelings for you that weren’t purely platonic and it resulted
in…um…a pretty nasty fight.”

He got in a fight? Because of me?

“How nasty of a fight, Edward?” Anything I was feeling earlier is now clouded with anger at the
thought that someone hurt him because of me.

“Nasty enough to land me in the ER. Jacob and Emmett took care of me and they demanded to
know what happened, so I told them.”

Christ!

“And why the fuck didn’t they tell me?” I’m beyond pissed now.

“I begged them not to. The guy I got in the fight with said that I should be punished because I
was nothing more than a dirty faggot and that loving you would only taint you, and I made them
swear they wouldn’t say anything…”

I fall to my knees in front of him as he continues to stammer, clasping his face in my hands.

“Edward, stop. Please. You believed this guy? That you would taint me?” My heart breaks
watching his body crumple before me.

“God help me, Jasper, I believed every word. I was scared and I couldn’t defend myself, and I
was terrified that you’d never want to speak to me again…”

Cutting him off, I kiss him desperately and he immediately scrambles into my lap, clinging to me
like his life depended on it. This kiss isn’t passionate like the ones we shared up until now. This
one is necessary, like fucking air, and I’m reluctant to ever break away. He claws at my t-shirt
trying to pull me ever closer and my fingers dig into his back, surely marking his skin. His hands
move up to my hair, nails scratching into my scalp while I rock us in place on the floor. Each
whimper against my lips, bruised from our frantic kiss, causes a slight fissure in my heart which
continues to break for him.

Some bigoted son of a bitch beat the shit out of my friend because of me; sent him to the
emergency room and made him believe that because he wanted to be with me, that he’d taint me.
That loving me was wrong.

Christ, he loved me and I wasn’t there for him.

“Edward, I’m sorry…” I whisper against his lips.

Edward pulls away from our kiss and presses his forehead against mine. “Jasper, you have
nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong. I want to put that shit behind me once and for all
and look ahead, ya know?” I nod my head in response and pull him tighter against me.

“Jasper, you don’t have to love me back, I just wanna love you. Please, just let me love you,” he
whispers, pressing his lips to mine once more.

Tears fall from my eyes and glide down my cheeks as I think of how stupid I’ve been. How blind
I’ve been not to see what Edward’s been dealing with for years. The fact that he suffered
physical abuse because of the way he felt about me, and yet I was worrying myself over being in
something resembling a serious relationship because it was out of my element. How fucking
selfish of me to think that I have it hard trying to deal with unfamiliar feelings while this whole
time, Edward’s been in his own personal hell with nobody to help him make sense of anything.

And all he wants to do is love me.

I’m a fucking pussy for being scared of that.

I don’t have much to give, but I swear to myself at this moment, that whatever I have, I give to
him freely.

“Edward. Edward, I…I think I…”

With his lips still against mine he shushes me, shaking his head. He doesn’t want to hear the
words.

Edward, I love you.

*********

A/N Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing – I squee every time I get an alert
with for Faves and Reviews…and I squee pretty loud, too ;)

If you liked the last little EPOV chapter, we just might get another one once this fic reaches
1500 reviews! Edward keeps staring at the review count because he’s antsy and can’t keep
his mouth shut…so you know what to do, right??

One last thank you goes to beate73 for being such an epic cheerleader, a fucktastic
brainstormer, and helping me get through technical difficulties (like posting teasers on
Twilighted when my Interwebs goes missing….) *tacklesnuggles*

As always….review! Pimp! Collectively squee with me while waiting in line to see New
Moon! (can’t fucking wait!!!!)


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Chapter: 17


A/N SM owns Twilight and all related characters. I own the mind that sincerely believes
that SM should have written Edward and Jasper together.

I know I said I’d post another chapter in EPOV once this fic hit 1500 reviews, but….I’m
impatient and I figure “almost” is close enough for me :D Thank y’all SFM for the
wonderful reviews – warm and fuzzy doesn’t even begin to describe the feelings I get when
I read them :)

Thanks as always go to my fantastic betas, DarkAbsynthe and Touchstone67 for keeping
me in check. Thanks also to beate73 for helping me hash things out and for everyone else
who let me bounce off ideas and for helping me find what works. *hugskissesbootiesmacks*

Love all of y’all HARD! :D

The following is a flashback in EPOV and takes place on High School graduation day.

*********

After wiping the sweat from my hair and face with the t-shirt I had tucked in the waistband of
my jeans, I turn around to do a quick survey of what used to be my room. Now, once I load all
the cardboard boxes and trash bags into the moving van and say my final fare-fucking-well, it’ll
be yet another guest room. My parents already have two. Now they’ll have three, for I’m no
longer a member of this family. I’m not even a guest.

Good riddance.

If I hadn’t been such an emotional train wreck during graduation this morning, I could be
celebrating right now with the other guys. Instead, I spent the afternoon and evening packing and
getting ready to move into Em and Jake's house a full two weeks before I'd planned to.

He had the nerve to show up and then had the nerve to try and fucking apologize. At first, I tried
ignoring him, pretending to be thoroughly engrossed in what my parents had been discussing
with my guidance counselor outside of the convention center. I thought I had made my point
when he left me alone momentarily to greet another student. Not ten minutes later, however, he
was pestering me to talk with him, to hear him out and let him say his peace.

I didn’t wanna hear it.

“Back the fuck off, will ya? It’s over, it’s done, and I’m not interested in what you have to say. If
you want forgiveness, go back to your fucking church and beg your God for forgiveness. You’re
not getting it from me,” I hissed.

“Edward Anthony Masen! What the hell is wrong with you?” My mother snapped.

Of course, I wasn't about to have this conversation right now in front of my classmates, my
guidance counselor, and fricken nosy bystanders. Rather than continue to make a scene, I
stormed off towards the parking lot and, upon finding the car, leaned against it and waited for
my bewildered parents to catch up.

When they finally did, my father laid into me. "You have a lot of nerve speaking to an adult that
way! Your mother and I raised you to be more respectful. What in God's name did that man do to
deserve being treated with such disdain?"

"Dad, can we talk about this at home? This isn't something I feel comfortable discussing in such
a publi..." I couldn't finish because he cut me off.

"You're going to explain yourself right now, young man!" He finished his declaration with an
authoritative stance, glaring at me and crossing his arms over his chest.

The all too familiar feeling of panic nearly consumed me and I came dangerously close to
collapsing in the parking lot. Quickly though, I started telling myself that these people were my
parents. They were pretty close-minded folks but they certainly wouldn't accept their son being
fucking brutalized at the hands of anyone, regardless of the reason.

So, I told them.

I told them about Jasper, how I felt about him, and how that sadistic fucking monster suspected
that I had feelings for Jasper. I told them what he did to me and spared not one gory detail. I told
them how Jacob came looking for me and found me in a bloody heap amidst the outcropping of
trees just past the track and raced to the ER with me cowering on the floorboard of his pickup
truck, while he screamed and sobbed angrily over his cell phone to Emmett. I even told them
about how I decided against pressing assault charges, although I left out my reason for doing so.

The looks of shock were completely expected. Dad's response, however, was not.

"Well, I take it you learned your lesson, then?"

Wait...what??!!

"He punished you for your immoral behavior. Have you learned your lesson, Edward?" he
asked.

"Did you not hear anything I just told you? What he did to me? How can you think I deserved..."

"Edward, we raised you to be a respectful, hard-working, God-fearing young man. We did not
raise you to be a sniveling, weak-minded, sinful homo. If you ask me, you got no less thanwhat
you deserved. Now tell me, son: have you learned your lesson?"

And so began my epic mindfuck of an afternoon. I couldn't give them the answer they wanted. It
didn't matter that I was left a broken, bitter mess after what happened. It didn't matter to them
that I was also attracted to women; that Bella and I had been seeing each other off and on for the
past couple of years. All they saw was an impure faggot, and they were ashamed to acknowledge
me as their son.

After that enlightening proclamation, I was told to pack up and move out. Their words were
more creative and colorful than that, but the gist was that they just wanted me gone.

They agreed to give me space and privacy to pack and I spent the entire afternoon and evening
doing just that.

Alone.

I have no fucking clue where my parents went off to; all I know is that they're going to be gone
for the entire weekend, leaving me alone to erase myself from their lives. I was half tempted to

go through the house and remove all my photos and shit that would remind the occasional
visiting coworker or self-righteous Rotary Club member that my parents were, in fact, parents.
So tempting to go through the house and yank all reminders and make it as though I never
existed.

It just wasn't worth the effort.

Glancing at the clock, I see it's creeping up on 1:30AM and I'm ready to call it a day. Just as I
make my way towards the stairs, I hear frantic knocking at the front door, scaring the shit out of
me. When I glimpse through the peephole, I realize it's Jasper. I truly don't know whether to be
grateful or anguished that he's here.

After opening the door, I realize it won't matter how I feel, because he's drunk as a fucking
skunk.

"Dude!" he shouts. "You'll never guess what I just did! Where the hell have you been, man? I
can't believe we fucking graduated. Jesus H. Christ, I need to sit down." With that, he trods into
the living room, reeking of cheap beer, and plops down on the sofa, patting the cushion next to
him.

Great. He's drunk and wants to lean on me. Just what I fucking need right now.

Do I deny him? Absolutely not. I can deny him nothing.

As soon as I sit on the couch, he hops back up to stand in front of me. Glancing towards the stack
of boxes at the bottom of the staircase he mumbles, "Packing already? Couldn't wait, huh?"

"Something like that," I mutter.

Scrubbing his face with the heel of his hand, he continues, "So anyways...guess what I did?" To
my delight - or horror, I'm not sure which - he lifts up the hem of his t-shirt and begins to
unfasten the belt around his jeans.

"Jasper?" I gasp.

"I got fucking ink man. It's totally sweet...check this shit out!" he declares with a grin.

Standing so his hips are eye-level with me, he folds back the fly of his jeans. I struggle to
suppress a moan as I realize that he's not wearing a fucking thing underneath them, and I'm
paying absolutely no attention to the fact that he's peeling back the bandage covering the tattoo
on his hip as I'm captivated by the fine dusting of blonde curls disappearing into his jeans.

"So whad'ya think?" he slurs.

Snapping my attention to his face and praying that he can't see my desire through the thick fog of
whatever swill he got drunk off of, I respond, "Huh?"

Eloquent. Truly.

"The fucking tatt! Look! Whad'ya think?" he asks again.

Instead of answering, my betraying hand reaches out and caresses the inked skin of his hip.

What happens next makes me nearly come in my jeans. His body jerks right before he leans into
my touch and moans, "Fuuuuuuck."

Not bothering to try to cover up the lust in my voice, I ask, "Did it hurt?" My fingers idly trace
the black Gothic figure etched into his perfect skin, but I can't tear my eyes away from the
growing bulge barely concealed by the partially opened fly of his jeans.

"I...uh...I don't remember...." he chokes out.

Flattening my hand against his skin, I press my fingers into the tender flesh immediately
surrounding the tattoo. Jasper hisses, I look up and realize that his reaction wasn't from pain as
he leans into me again. His gaze is fixed on my hands while his are still holding up the hem of
his shirt. A soft whimper falls from his lips as he wantonly presses his hips into my hand.

This must be a dream. I was certain that he would have made some sort of comment about the
fact that I was creeping him out by touching him this way. Well, color me totally fucking
surprised that I managed to get such a positive response.

My heart is pounding so hard, I'm amazed that he can't hear it.

"Edward...I...uh...what...what're you doin'?" he sighs.

Swallowing hard, I realize I'm powerless to control myself when he's being so receptive. I know
he's drunk, but the tiniest part of me that remains optimistic is jumping for joy and I can't stop
myself from leaning forward and brushing my lips against the skin just below his navel. His
hands have released the hem of his shirt to make tight fists in my hair and he whimpers again.
The pitiful utterance is the sweetest music and I can't help but do the same with my lips pressed
to his belly.

"Jasper," I breathe. My hands apparently have minds of their own as they grip Jasper's hips and
pull him closer to me so I can nuzzle his heated abs.

"Edward...oh God. Do you...do you want me?" he whispers.

Squeezing my eyes shut and with my lips still pressed against his skin, I nod furiously. I nearly
come undone when he clumsily drops to his knees in front of me and tentatively takes my face in
his hands. My heart is racing and I can't catch my breath as I watch him bite his bottom lip.
Leaning in, he brushes his nose with mine and my breath hitches as I struggle not to cry from
sheer fucking joy. My eyes are closed and my lips are parted, waiting for the contact I've craved

so desperately. When his soft, warm lips sweep across mine in an almost kiss, my stomach
flutters maddeningly. I'm completely ignoring the fact that I have the biggest hard-on in history
because this is more important than simple physical pleasure. Jasper kissing me would be like
bringing me back to life, erasing all the hateful words, the physical pain, the God awful fucking
heartache. Having him kiss me would make me feel like a human being for the first time in
fucking years.

"Jasper, please," I beg.

Another whimper. Soft, pleading notes of barely restrained pleasure drift to my ears and it's all I
can do to not grab him forcefully and kiss him hard enough to leave bruises on his beautiful lips.
Brief, sensual touches may not have him running for cover, but an urgent kiss might. I'm not
about to blow this now.

Please don't let me blow this now.

Christ, Jasper...I love you. Please kiss me!

He brushes his lips against mine again, pressing a bit harder than last time and I feel what can
only be described as a fierce buzz ripping through my body and I lurch forward slightly and
almost fall off the edge of the couch. The most delicious moan that slips past his lips is almost
immediately followed by a sound that I will surely curse for the rest of my days.

Jasper's cell phone is ringing.

"I'm ignoring it," he mutters.

My resulting smile is all consuming but painfully short lived as his phone "chirps" indicating
someone contacting him in fucking walkie-talkie mode. Emmett is now currently trying to get
Jasper's attention from his jeans pocket.

Fuck, Em...how can you do this to me now?

Leaning back with a groan, he pulls his cell from his pocket just in time to hear Emmett yell,
"Jazz! Where are you, fucker?" As his finger hovers over the button that would break the
connection, Em squawks again. "Don't make me call Mom and have her come find your ass,
bro!"

"Well, shit. I better call him," Jasper mumbles. My heart sinks at the interruption, but at least he
hasn't moved away from me yet. After breaking the walkie-talkie connection, he calls his step-
brother. My attention is not on the conversation he's having, but on the movements of his lips as
he speaks. It's on his hand that reaches up to scratch the slight growth of stubble on his jaw. And
now it's on his lithe body rising to stand upright and walk towards the kitchen.

Uh-oh.

While I know he's just changing locations for the sake of privacy and not necessarily abandoning
me, I'm scared all the same and get up to start pacing the room. Several moments later, he comes
back into the living room murmuring, "Yeah, he's here. Hold on." Without another word, he
hands his cell phone to me just before stretching out on his back across the length of the couch
and closing his eyes.

"What's up?" I ask Emmett. Now I'm aggravated.

"Dude, did you lose your cell or something? We've all been trying to get a hold of you since you
left the ceremony this morning. What the hell, man?"

"I left with my parents and we've just been busy. I also decided to start packing up my stuff and
get ready for the move and next thing I know, I've got all my shit in boxes and bags and I'm
ready to head out." In an attempt to appear nonchalant about the whole situation, I chuckle.

"Shit, well you missed a hell of a party at Stanley's. Jasper got tore-the-fuck-up, but I guess you
already knew that since he showed up at your place. He didn't puke on your couch, did he?" he
asks with a snicker.

"No, thank goodness. He does seem to be passed out on the couch, though." Jasper has begun to
snore and my heart sinks at the thought of not being able to immediately pick up where we left
off.

"What an ass," he scoffs. "How did his tatt turn out? He said he was going to get some ink when
he left the party a few hours ago."

Swallowing hard, I answer, "It turned out very well. Odd design, but I guess it suits him. Some
Gothic-looking bat thing. I guess he fancies himself a vampire or something."

With a snort, Emmett replies, "I guess. Where did he get it?"

"On his right hip."

"Oh wow. Ummm..."

"Emmett, I gotta go, okay? See you tomorrow?" The last thing I want to do is have one of those
'how does that make you feel?' conversations with Emmett.

"Sure. I'll...uh...give you a hand with the move then, huh?"

"I'd appreciate that, thanks. Bye," I say before hanging up.

Looking over at Jasper and watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he sleeps, I want
nothing more than to curl up next to him and spoon him next to my body. Unfortunately for me,
the size of the couch he's occupying won't allow that, so instead I sit on the floor, leaning my
side against the couch with my knees pulled up to my chest. Despite the fact that his jeans are

open, showing off more than just his tattoo, his peaceful visage of slumber gives him quite an
angelic look.

"So beautiful," I whisper as I reach out to tuck a golden curl behind his ear.

Wanting to give him some shred of dignity when he finally wakes up, I decide to refasten the fly
of his jeans and buckle his belt. It doesn't escape my notice that every brush of my fingers
against his skin while I do so, causes him to contract the muscles in his belly and grunt in his
sleep. I want so badly to wake him up, but I don't dare.

Instead, I resume my position, leaning against the couch with my arms wrapped around my
knees and my head lying down on the cushion by his waist. Sleep must have claimed me almost
immediately, I realize, as I open my eyes after what feels like a moment to see the mid-morning
sun filtering in through the drapes and my body aching from remaining in the same position for
several hours.

My head is aching just as bad as the rest of my body as the obnoxious ringing of Jasper's cell
phone rings again. Turning to look at Jasper, I see him grasp his head in his hands and mutter
something unintelligible as he practically knocks me over in his attempt to get off the couch to
retrieve his cell.

"Aaaahh fuck, Edward. I'm sorry. What are you doing on the floor?" he asks while answering the
phone.

"What the hell, Em?" Pause. "Yes, I'm still at Edward's, about to head home for a bit though."

He's leaving?

"Well, I have to shower and slather some goop on my tattoo." As he pauses for Emmett's
response, he absently pulls back the waistband of his jeans and peeks at his new ink with an
impish grin.

"No, man...I walked here from the tattoo parlor. I was too fucking drunk to drive last night -
almost too drunk to walk!" he says with a laugh.

"I don't need a ride. Walk'll do me some good, I think." Pause. "Yeah, I'll be back later to help
with the move." He finishes his statement by wrapping an arm around my shoulder and hugging
me. Without even thinking, I bury my face his in his neck and inhale deeply through my nose.

"Whoa, Edward! What the fuck?" he asks, jumping back and raising an eyebrow at me.

Wait...what did I just do?

The confused, startled expression on his face answers my question.

I do believe I just blew it.

In an effort to save some face, I play it off as a joke and laugh at the "absurdity" of my gesture.
He responds with a shake of his head and a smile before ending his conversation with Emmett.

"Okay, I guess I'm gonna get outta here for a bit. Thanks for letting me crash last night, sorry
about that. Right now I need to get home and nurse this fricken hangover...ughhh!" He grinds the
heels of his hands into his eyes and I have to wince because it truly looks like he's in pain.

I doubt the pain he's in is any worse than the pain I'm in at the moment. Last night was just a
drunk lapse in judgement. Either he doesn't remember what transpired after he showed me his
new tattoo or he doesn't want to remember. I'm too terrified to ask him which. His instant recoil
from me may mean he's leaning towards the latter, and the thought makes me want to throw up.

"It's no problem, Jazz."

"Thanks. Again, I'm sorry. I came over here to show you my tatt and I don't remember much of
anything. That usually means I did something I shouldn't have, so needless to say, I can't be held
responsible for what may or may not have occurred last night," he adds with a chuckle.

That little half-hearted chuckle causes the tiniest fissure to make a path through my heart.

He doesn't want me.

After I move in with Emmett and Jacob, Jasper won't be too far behind. We'll be living in the
same house for at least four years while we go to school. I'm going to be living with a man I'm
unconditionally and irrevocably in love with, and that man does not love me back. I don't know
if I'm gonna be able to handle this.

As Jasper lets himself out the front door, I walk despondently over to the old upright piano in the
parlor that has been my outlet for venting more times than I can count over the years. Sitting
down on the bench, I feel the first of what will be many tears slide down my cheek as my fingers
find random notes with the keys. It's not long before a song actually begins to form. I heard it for
the first time just a few days ago and it's strangely coincidental that it has wriggled its way into
my brain at this moment.

Played on the piano, "Rootless Tree" by Damien Rice sounds almost like a lullaby, however,
knowing the lyrics to the song, I know better.

What I want from you is empty your head
They say be true, don't stain your bed
We do what we need to be free
And it leans on me like a rootless tree
What I want from us is empty our minds
We fake a fuss and fracture the times
We go blind when we've needed to see
And this leans on me like a rootless...

So fuck you and all we've been through!
I said leave it! It's nothing to you!
And if you hate me, then hate me so good that you can let me out...
Let me out of this hell when you're around!

Cutting myself off in the middle of the song, I'm pissed that I just went all fucking emo. I must
be just as pathetic as my parents think if I'm getting this way over a boy.

But, Jasper's not just any boy. I've loved him for years and have paid the price for that love more
than once, just to have my hopes dashed with him walking out that fucking door this morning.
He'll never feel the same way about me and I'm insane for wanting to commit myself to living
under the same roof with him for several years knowing that he won't love me back. A stronger
man would pick up and move on.

Closing my eyes and picturing his beautiful face, his green eyes bright with endless laughter, his
full, compassionate smile, I realize I can't just "move on". Above all else, he's my best friend; I'd
surely whither and die if he weren't in my life.

It's in this moment that I amend my previous thought. A stronger man would stick around and
face the facts. I resolve to be this man; the man who can deal with the fact that the world has not
been created fair and that we don't always get what we want. If all I can have is his friendship, I
should be fucking grateful to have at least that; I'll take what I can get.

And if the sweet day ever comes where he gives me more than just his friendship, I swear on my
life I won't ever let it go.

**********

A/N For those of you who may be wondering, yes, that is the same song that Edward’s been
playing on the piano when he’s feeling down. So…one more mystery solved ;) (I know…I
make it sound like this fic is chock full of intrigue…*snort*) Anywho, links to videos of
both the album version and a piano cover of “Rootless Tree” are on my profile. Check em
out if you feel the need (and I highly recommend it….Damien Rice is 16 kinds of awesome!)

Hope y’all enjoyed this additional peek into Edward’s life – show him some love! Review!
Pimp! Hug him and assure him that things will work out soon enough! :D