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on June 6th, 2013, based on

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8309300/

The content in this book is copyrighted by knicnort3 or their authorised
agent(s). All rights are reserved except where explicitly stated otherwise.

This story was first published on July 11th, 2012, and was last updated on
October 17th, 2012.

Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated - please email any bugs, problems,
feature requests etc. to

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29. Lies
30. Predators
31. Family
32. What Matters
33. Every Way Possible
34. EPI

- 4 -

Summary

Bella was one of the popular sophomores in her high school, but when a class trip

goes awry she finds herself marooned on a tropical island with Edward Cullen, the
resident school geek. The two must overcome their differences and learn to work
together in order to survive. If you're a fan of 'Twilight' and 'Blue Lagoon', this is the
story for you! *more info inside* AH, AU, E/B

- 5 -

The Trip

Twilight on the Blue Lagoon

*Edward and Bella will definitely find some lemon trees on the island ;)

E/B, AH, AU, Rated M for sexual content and adult language.

Banner on my profile!

A/N: I have always loved "The Blue Lagoon" movies, so I was so excited to hear

that a new one was coming out. The made for TV movie "The Blue Lagoon;
Awakening" aired and left me a little….disappointed - Too little sex, only three
months on the island, and no surprise baby (how do you have teenage unprotected
sex for 3 months and no pregnancy?)

Needless to say, I spent the next few days thinking about how I would have made

it differently. So I'm taking the parts I liked (characters being in high school), and
changing it to fit my preferences. I really hope you'll come along for the ride!

Disclaimer: I do not own "Twilight" or "Blue Lagoon", but if you're a fan of both,

then this is the story for you!

Chapter 1 – The Trip

"So what are you taking?" Jessica asked me as we were walking to the cafeteria.

"I'm assuming you're asking about what I'm taking on the trip?" I asked slightly

annoyed. Jessica always seemed to begin conversations as if we were in the middle
of them, and it could be quite frustrating at times.

"Duh, what do you think I'm talking about? The trip is this weekend; don't tell me

you haven't packed yet?"

"Jessica, how long have you known me?"

"Exactly, so what are you bringing?"

"It's a class trip, it's not like I'm going to be sunbathing. I'm just bringing my

- 6 -

assigned T shirt, pajamas and some shorts."

"Ugh, you are so boring. I can't believe such a wonderful opportunity to get close

to Mike is being wasted on you. Why didn't I sign up for that stupid Marine Biology
class?"

"Because you're afraid of fish," I told her evenly.

"Right…but I would have sucked it up if I knew I had a chance to go on a cruise."

"It's not a vacation cruise, its a week on a glorified fishing boat to study deep sea

organisms, and believe me, I would change places with you if I could. I just really
hope they don't make us dissect anything there. I'm going to be sick enough and I do
not want to throw up in front of Mike."

"Oh, so you are interested in Mike," Jessica teased.

I rolled my eyes. "I have a boyfriend Jessica, and no, I'm not interested in Mike. I

just don't want to throw up in front of him. He's the captain of the football team so
word will definitely get out."

"You can't tell me you're not at all attracted to him though. He's a senior, and

everyone's been saying how he just took the class to get closer to you. He wants to
fuck you, be grateful."

"Oh, ok, I'll just ask Jacob for a hall pass," I said sarcastically. "I'm sure he

wouldn't mind if I screwed around behind his back."

"Oh, Jacob-Schmacob. He's just a sophomore, I'm sure he'd let it go after a while.

We're in high school Bella, no more childish puppy romances. You and Jacob were
cute in eighth grade, but now it's time to move on to bigger and better things. I
mean, you've been together for two years now and you still haven't had sex yet.
What does that tell you?"

"That we respect each other."

"No, it means that he's either screwing someone else, or he's gay."

"Oh, whatever. We'll have sex when we're ready."

"But…if Mike were to proposition you while on the trip…."

- 7 -

I couldn't help but smile. Mike was the hottest guy in school, and I was definitely

lying when I said I wasn't interested. Jacob was a good guy and my parents really
liked him, but we had already been together for so long that he was starting to feel
more like a brother than a boyfriend. Perhaps Jessica was right, maybe it was time
to move on to bigger and better things.

"Oh, I knew it!" she squealed.

"Why are you so happy about the idea of me and Mike anyway? Don't you like

him?"

"Yes, but he likes you and now I can live vicariously through you."

"Hurry, hide me!" Tanya said quickly as she ran toward us.

"What's going on?" I asked amused.

"That Eddie freak is looking for me," she said full of disgust.

"Why?" I asked with a giggle. "Did you forget to pay him for the homework he did

for you?"

"No," she said sourly. "I have him in my poetry class and he wrote a poem for me.

God, it was so embarrassing."

Jessica and I just stared at her in shock for a moment, and then we both busted

out and started laughing. Edward Cullen had to be the biggest loser in the school.
He was short and chubby with big geeky glasses and a retainer which made him
speak with a lisp and spit when he talked. But the fact that he was in love with one
of my best friends was the funniest thing I had ever heard. We were the most
popular girls in the sophomore class, how could a freak like him ever think he stood
a chance?

"Oh, I think you should be nice and kiss him behind the portables. It would make

his year," Jessica choked out through her laughter.

"Make his year? That would be the highlight of his life!" I added.

"Eww, I don't even want to think about it," Tanya said, disturbed by the thought.

"I'd rather kiss the pickled toads in bio."

"Oh look, here he comes now," Jessica said while we tried to control our laughter.

- 8 -

"Tanya, I just wanted to apologize for the poem; I didn't realize that it would be

embarrassing," Edward mumbled quietly while looking down at the ground. "I
should have given it to you in private….so here," he said and held out a piece of
folded paper.

I tried to hold it in, I even bit the inside of my cheek to try to let the pain

overcome it, but nothing worked and I broke out laughing again. Jessica laughed
with me, but Tanya just looked revolted.

"Um…I can see that now's not the best time either," he said completely humiliated

by our hysterics. His face turned a bright crimson and I almost felt bad for him –
almost. But of course my pity wasn't enough to stop the rolling laughter, and finally
Tanya saw the humor in it and laughed with us despite herself.

"Sorry," he mumbled and then turned and practically ran away.

"Wow, that was really mean," Angela came out of nowhere and said.

"What's it to you?" Tanya asked sharply. Angela was our friend freshman year, but

she broke away from the group because she thought we were all bitches, which I
guess we sort of were. I was never intentionally mean to anyone, but if something
was funny, I was definitely going to laugh.

"I just think you guys should really think before you talk. Someday your bullying is

going to come back to bite you in your asses," Angela said.

Bullying? Is that what we were doing? Bullying was pushing and sticking heads in

toilets and such, a little laughter never hurt anyone… at least that was what I told
myself.

"Oh, we're so scared," Jessica said mockingly. "Come on guys, let's ditch the rest

of the day and buy Bella a new bikini for her trip."

I spent the next few days thinking about my relationship with Jake. He really was

a great guy and there wasn't a girl in school who wouldn't want to be with him, but
Mike was just…Mike. He was a god on legs and the thought of being with him in
that way actually made me flustered. I wanted him, and if he made a pass at me
while on the ship, I'd definitely lose my virginity. Jessica was right, I needed to be
prepared for it and buy myself some sexy underwear.

- 9 -

When Friday finally came, the Forks High Marine biology classes went by bus to

the marina, where we boarded the ship and set sail for the horizon. Most of the kids
in the elective class were geeks and school losers, but Mike and a couple others
were hopefully going to save me from a dreadfully boring week at sea.

There were eight cabins for the students, each one was cramped and squished in

four kids. Even in the cold northwest, it was stuffy and hot inside the tight space, so
most of the kids spent their free time on deck and that's where I hung with Mike and
the rest of the tolerable kids.

"This is so boring," Vicky said one evening. "I swear I fell asleep during the lecture

today."

"You always fall asleep during lectures," James, her boyfriend said.

"Yeah well. The teachers here watch us like hawks. I tried to sneak into your cabin

last night but they wouldn't give us a break."

"You can always give me a BJ now," he said carelessly.

"There's nowhere to be alone," Vicky argued.

"Ah, don't worry about me and Bella, we won't watch," Mike assured them with a

grin. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and turned us so we were facing out
over the edge of the boat at the moon reflecting on the water.

"Wow, it's so beautiful," I said after an uncomfortable minute of listening to

James's moans behind us.

"Yeah, it's one of those dropping moons," Mike replied.

"Dropping moons? Don't you mean a crescent moon?" I asked with a flirtatious

giggle.

"No, a dropping moon, you know where it's so pretty that it makes people drop

their pants just by standing under it."

"Wow," I said after a moment.

"Yeah, that was kind of a bad one, huh?" he said with a laugh.

"Yes, definitely bad….Besides, if you wanted my panties down, you could have just

- 10 -

come out and said so," I said boldly.

He looked at me shocked. "Really?"

I shrugged. "Maybe if we were alone," I said suggestively. I couldn't believe how

forward I was being. I wasn't usually like that, especially when it came to hot guys,
but I convinced myself that this was my moment. After the trip was over I needed to
make a decision about Jacob and deal with the consequences; I needed to either
recommit and move to the next step, or move on and break ties with him. It was a
hard decision.

Mike leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips….and then there it

was….motion sickness. I pulled away from him just in time to vomit over the side of
the boat.

"Whoa, I didn't know you would be that disgusted by kissing me," Mike joked.

"You're really going to have to go back to your cabin and wash your mouth out
before we kiss anymore…and I definitely don't want my cock smelling like vomit so
just come find me when you've cleaned yourself up."

I felt terrible – literally. My entire body was trembling from the sudden nausea,

and all that jerk could do was think about his cock and make jokes? Fucking prick.

But because I still had a thing for him and didn't want to waste my chance, I

decided to head back to my cabin to brush my teeth.

As I was trying to make my way back to the cabins however, my head started

spinning and suddenly I felt like I was falling. The next thing I knew, I was waking
up on a dingy with the bright sun beating down on my face, and the boat was
nowhere in sight.

I had to be dreaming. It was just a terrible nightmare and I'd wake back up in the

cabin… only it didn't feel like a dream.

"Don't sit up too fast, you might start throwing up again," an unfamiliar voice said.

My vision was blurry, but I tried to focus my eyes and see who was there with me….
Yep, it was definitely a nightmare.

"Wha…what's going on, what happened?" I asked groggily.

"Mr. Molina and I were working on a ocean night project, so we were down here

in the dingy, but he left to get something out of his cabin and that's when you fell

- 11 -

out of the boat," Edward the Geek Cullen explained calmly.

"I fell out of the boat?" I said incredulously. "Well, how did I get on this dingy, and

WHERE DID THE BOAT GO?" I shouted. "I thought a dingy was supposed to be tied
to the boat, how did this dingy get untied?"

I was beyond pissed and beginning to panic.

"Well, I saw you fall in, so I untied the dingy to row over to you. You were

unconscious," Edward explained hesitantly.

"Why didn't you jump out and bring me back to the boat, instead of untying the

dingy?"

He shrugged sheepishly. "I can't swim."

"Great. Just fucking amazing. We're on a tiny blowup raft in the middle of the

Pacific Ocean somewhere, and you can't swim. Where's the paddle?"

"I dropped it in the water," he mumbled. I just glared at him so he explained. "I

tried to get to you with the paddle but then it slipped out of my hands. I see now my
mistakes and given the chance to do it over again I'm sure I would have been more
successful."

"What? Who are you; what kind of person talks like that?" I asked frustrated. I

didn't even realize Edward was even on the trip with us, not that I would have cared,
and I definitely wasn't surprised. Guys like him lived for geeky things like Marine
Biology and such. I just wished I was stranded with someone like Mike instead;
someone who was strong and could actually swim – then again, he's probably spend
that time trying to get me to give him a blow job instead of figuring out a way back
to the boat.

"Sorry, I've never really had any friends my own age before, so I don't really know

how to talk," he said while pushing his glasses up.

"Whatever. Just, tell me which way the boat went."

"That way," he said, pointing to his left. "Or maybe it was that way," he said,

pointing in the opposite direction.

"How could you not know?"

- 12 -

"It was dark, and by the time morning came the boat was gone."

"Oh my god, I'm going to die," I whined to myself.

"The probability is forty-sixty right now, but with each hour that passes our

chances of survival goes down," he said casually.

"No, someone will find us. I'm sure they know we're missing by now and they've

already called in the coast guard. We just have to sit back and wait. A boat, or a
helicopter; someone will come."

We waited…and waited….and waited some more.

The sun was so hot on my skin that I was sure I was turning into one big blister.

Edward took off his sweatshirt and kept dipping it in the water to try to cool off; he
offered to let me use it, but I was stubborn and refused. Everything about the guy
disgusted me, and I wasn't about to wrap his nasty wet sweat shirt on my head.

When the sun set with no sign of help, I started to panic again. "What are we

going to do? We can't stay on this thing forever. I'm hungry, my mouth is parched
and…"

"Just calm down," he said softly. "If you get yourself worked up you'll just waste

more energy."

"Calm down? We're in the middle -"

"Yeah, and we're never going to get home if you keep freaking out like that!" he

shouted at me. I had hardly ever heard him speak louder than a mumble before, so
his outburst was more than unexpected.

We didn't speak for the rest of the night; I just scooted down in the dingy and

tried to sleep. The fact that the small raft made it impossible to stretch or lay
anywhere that I wasn't touching Edward was disturbing, but after a few hours I just
lost the energy to care.

By the second day on the boat without food or water, I was starting to get

delirious. The sun and ocean was playing tricks on my mind and I could have sworn I
saw land.

"Is that…" My throat was so dry that I couldn't speak much, but Edward followed

my stare and saw what I was looking at.

- 13 -

"An island," he croaked. He didn't sound much better than how I was feeling, but

seeing land gave us renewed hope.

We both put our arms in the water and tried to paddle the dingy closer to the

island, but it wasn't working.

"Swim," I said as loud as I could.

"I can't," he replied in a panic.

"For heaven's sake," I said with a sudden bout of adrenalin coursing through my

veins. I pulled the sole life-vest out from under the dingy bench, and threw it at him
before jumping into the water. I wasn't sure if he jumped in after me or not, but I
refused to stop swimming. Nothing was going to keep me from that island; I only
hoped it had some fresh water and something edible…..

A/N: Well, Edward is a geek and Bella is a bitch, obviously we have a long

way to go with these two. Anyone interested?

- 14 -

Finding Water

Chapter 2 – Finding Water

The swim to the island was further than I anticipated, and by the time I made it on

shore, I could hardly breathe. My body felt limp and my lungs ached as I panted for
air, and then I passed out…again.

I woke up to something wet on my sandpaper dry lips, and I automatically

grabbed onto whatever it was and drank it ravenously.

"Slow down, you're going to make yourself sick," I heard Edward's voice say, but I

couldn't see him. My eyes hurt - well everything hurt, and the only relief came from
the cool liquid streaming down my throat. When the liquid flow stopped, I looked
around for more, but there wasn't any.

"It's gone, you drank it dry," Edward said.

"Where did you get…? What was that?" I asked, still having a hard time speaking.

"Liana," he said casually. "Or better known as 'water vine' to the less

knowledgeable. They grow in tropical areas….and apparently on uninhabited pacific
islands," he explained.

"Is there more?" I asked, not giving a crap as to what it was specifically. Only

someone like Edward Cullen would care about scientific names during a time like
that.

"Yeah, I'll go get some," he said before running off.

I had no idea how long he was gone for, but even with just that small amount of

sustenance, I felt strong enough to sit up and look around. The white sandy beach I
was on was beautiful, and if I was wearing a bikini and sitting under a beach
umbrella with a fruity drink I would have been perfectly content, but as it was, it
may have been hell on earth.

Where the hell were we?

I scanned the horizon before me, and there was just…nothing. I couldn't even see

the dingy we had abandoned.

- 15 -

When Edward finally returned with another water-thingy, I drank it quickly and

discarded the vine. "Please tell me you just pulled the dingy up on shore out of view
someplace?"

"No…I'm not sure where that thing went. I was just happy to make it to land

without drowning."

I rolled my eyes. I had never heard of a fifteen year old not being able to swim, it

was utterly ridiculous and I couldn't imagine a worse person to be stranded with.

"So, what now?" I asked after a few minutes of indignant silence.

"Well, we need to find some real water, and maybe some fruit or something. Then

we should try to make a shelter and start a fire for the night."

"Obviously…but how are we supposed to do any of that?" I didn't mean to be rude,

but it had to be the worst few days of my life and I was scared to death of never
going home. But then I thought about my dad; he was the Forks police chief, and
when a girl went missing a couple years prior, he made a comment about how he
would never stop looking if that were me. Help was coming, I had to believe that.

"I have this Swiss Army knife and it has a flint on it," Edward said unexpectedly

while pulling the knife out of his pocket to show me.

"You have a pocket knife?" I asked incredulously.

"It's a Swiss Army knife, but yeah. Why do you look so shocked?" he asked.

"Because…pocket knives are for guys like Danny Zuko, not for guys who look like

they would accidently cut their fingers off from such a thing."

"My dad gave it to me, ok," he said bitterly.

"Oh, I get it – Your dad wished he had a more….athletic son," I said harshly. I

meant it as a joke, but it came out sounding a little cruel.

"My dad died when I was six," he said quietly before getting up and walking

inland.

Crap.

I felt awful for my comment, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize. I just

- 16 -

followed him quietly into the trees hoping to stumble upon a fresh water spring or
stream. We walked for about twenty minutes but we were still weak from our time
on the dingy, and I just couldn't go on anymore.

"Edward, I have to stop!" I called to him.

He didn't turn back to me; he just stopped walking and leaned against a tree to

wait until I was ready to continue. But I wouldn't be ready to continue; I was
starving and I needed to eat something if I was even going to attempt to go any
further. "We need food," I told him.

"I saw some berries back there," he mumbled while walking past me back the way

we came.

"If you saw berries then why didn't you stop to get them?" I asked frustrated.

Edward really was an odd individual.

"I was trying to find water," he explained dryly. "We need water more than we

need berries."

"Can we just get the berries so we'll have some energy to search for water?" I said

through gritted teeth. For someone so smart, that was pretty stupid of him.

He didn't respond, he just led the way back to the berries… and they were

absolutely beautiful.

"Hold on," he said before I had a chance to eat any.

"What?" I asked irritated.

"I'm trying to remember the guide for berries."

"What guide?" I asked confused. "Berries are fruit."

"Yeah, and like mushrooms and flowers, some are poisonous," he told me. He

stood there and scratched his head while he thought about it. "White and yellow kill
a fellow, purple and blue good for you," he said to himself.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Boy scouts, 101."

- 17 -

Why was I not surprised he was a boy scout; all nerds usually were. "So, what

about red ones?" I asked, because that was the color of berries we had in front of us.

"Red can be poisonous or safe to eat."

"Great, so which are these?"

"Um….if they grow in bunches they're safe, but if they grow in singles they're

poisonous."

"Great, these are singles," I said irritated.

"Wait, no I got that backwards. Bunches are poisonous and the singles are safe."

"Which is it?" I asked.

"I don't know, just let me think….The bunches are poisonous, I'm almost sure of

it."

"Almost?"

"Eighty five percent sure."

"Well, those odds aren't good enough for me," I said feeling hopeless.

But then, without warning, he yanked a berry off the bush and popped it in his

mouth.

"Oh my god, what are you doing?" I asked in a panic. I may have been annoyed

with him, but I definitely didn't want him die leaving me stuck there alone.

He put up his finger to hush me while he chewed, and then he swallowed hard and

waited.

"Well?" I asked anxiously.

He shrugged. "Sour, but not bad. They're safe, start eating them."

It was obvious by Edward's weight that he ate a lot, so I should have trusted his

judgment when it came to food, but the truth was that I didn't. It may have been
wrong, but I planned to wait a little longer to make sure he wasn't going to get sick
before I started eating them.

- 18 -

"I think I'll just pick some and keep them for later," I told him.

"You don't trust me, do you?"

"I just don't want to get sick again," I said honestly.

"Fine, it's probably a good idea to take some with us anyway…just in case we don't

find anything else to eat for awhile."

We each took a big leaf from the foliage and filled it with as many berries as we

could, and then we continued to search for water. The terrain was hard to walk
through and we were both beyond exhausted, but we persevered because we had no
choice, we needed water.

"What are we going to do if we can't find any water?" I asked him as he was

wrestling with another water vine.

"There has to be some water; all islands have streams full of rain water that run

down from the highest point to the ocean….and if we can't find any then we'll just
have to stick to these vines for now and hope it rains soon."

"Um, no, I don't hope it rains soon," I said sourly. "What I hope is that a helicopter

flies above us and we get rescued soon. It can rain when we're safely inside a hotel
or something."

"The probability of getting rescued today is -"

"I don't care what the PROBABILITY IS!" I shouted at him, completely irritated by

all his probability and scientific talk.

"Ok, fine, let's just not speak while we look," he mumbled.

But after another couple hours of searching passed and we still didn't find

anything, I decided we had enough. "Edward, let's just go back to the beach. A ship
could be passing and we would have no way of seeing it from here."

"Yeah, and it's going to be getting dark soon," he agreed, taking me aback. I didn't

even notice the changing light, and regardless of what he had said, I still wasn't
considering the prospect of spending the night on that dreadful island. But it
seemed inevitable at that point, so I decided to look on the bright side - at least we
were off the dingy.

- 19 -

We looked around to head back, but suddenly we were completely lost. "It all

looks the same, which way do we go?" I asked in a panic.

"This way," he said uncertain. We continued to walk, and just as the sun sank

below the horizon, we found the beach…except it wasn't the same beach we started
out on.

"What difference does it make?" he said, sensing my aggravation.

"It makes a difference because we washed up on that beach, which means if

people are looking for us, that's probably where they'd look!"

"Well, we can go back that way tomorrow. As of right now, we need to make a

fire."

We didn't have time to build a shelter for the night, but it was warm enough so we

just laid out under the stars and took turns keeping the fire going. I was desperate
for food by then and since Edward had yet to get sick, I figured the berries were ok
to eat. But that just made me even hungrier, so I fell asleep with my head in the
sand to the sound of crashing waves and the constant rumbling of my stomach.

"Bella, wake up," Edward said while shaking me gently.

"What?" I asked groggily before opening my eyes. It was another new day and I

felt weaker than ever. We really needed to find something better to eat than possibly
poisonous berries.

"I was walking into the forest to pee, and I found it," he said excitedly.

"The dingy?" I said like a moron. He looked at me like the idiot I was, before

shaking his head. "Water…fresh clean water. Come on!" He pulled me up and we
moved faster than either of us had moved since first arriving there. I could hear it
before I saw it…rushing water. We rounded a bend in the trees and there it was, a
beautiful waterfall rushing into a crystal clear lagoon.

"How do you know it's clean?….Like, aren't there parasites in places like this?" I

questioned.

He shrugged and pushed up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "It's not

stagnant. See, the water flows out that way. We can't be sure, but I'm willing to give

- 20 -

it a try," he said before pulling off his shirt and wading in. Had we been at a public
swimming hole back with normal people, I probably would have laughed to myself or
whoever I was with about the way his boy-boobs rested on his gut in the most
nauseating way, but as it was, I was far too hot and thirsty to care.

"Is it cold?" I asked.

"Yep," he replied. "And it feels really good!"

He only stayed near the edge of the lagoon in case it was deep, but I wanted to

actually swim. So I kicked off my shoes and considered taking off my shirt to swim in
my bra, but that was way more intimate than I ever planned on being with Edward
Cullen, so I jumped in fully clothed.

And it felt amazing. The cold was a sharp contrast to the blistering heat of the

midday, but it was a welcomed relief and allowed me to forget my hunger for a short
time. The water was fresh and clean as far as I could tell, so as we swam we drank -
well, I swam, he just walked around on the shallow rocks - and it was as close to
heaven on that godforsaken island as I was going to get.

"I think we should make camp close by," Edward said awhile later as we relaxed

on the side with our feet still dangling in the water. "Ships can come from either
side, so the beach here is as good as the other but it's much closer to the lagoon."

I nodded in agreement. "Ok." He was right, but the truth was that I just really

didn't want to walk all the way back to the other beach anyway.

We had stayed at the lagoon all day, and as twilight fell over us, the changing light

made the lagoon a brilliant blue color. As much as I hated everything about being
stuck there, I took a moment to actually enjoy the beautiful sight of it.

"Ready to go back to the beach?" Edward asked as he put his shirt back on.

"Yeah, I guess we should build a fire for the night," I said reluctantly, not wanting

to leave the serenity of the lagoon.

We raced the darkness and gathered branches and twigs for the fire, which

caught easy enough with his flint, but then he did one of the most disgusting things I
had ever witnessed.

"What are you doing?" I screeched.

- 21 -

"We need the protein," he explained as he pushed what looked like a rather large

worm on a stick to roast on the fire. "I just ate one raw but I figured you'd want
yours cooked?"

"Uh, no. I am not eating that. I'll just stick to berries."

"You can't live on berries, especially after swimming most of the day. You need

protein."

I shook my head. "You eat it if you're so hungry. Unlike you, I don't need to eat so

much. Berries are fine."

"Was that a fat joke?" he asked offended.

"It wasn't a joke."

"You know what's so funny? People like you actually think that people like me

don't know that we're heavy. Do you really think that I'm unaware how disgusted
people are by me? But thank you for reminding me yet again. As if we didn't have
enough to deal with here."

Edward got up and walked back into the trees, leaving me alone by the fire….and

I felt like shit. I didn't mean to insult him again, but I guess I didn't try to not insult
him either. Our classmates had been calling him fat for as long as I could remember,
and I never cared enough to think about how it bothered him. I always figured if he
really minded being called names then he'd do something about it and lose the
weight. But after seeing the look on his face just then, I realized no one should have
to feel that so I decided to talk to him about it and apologize when he
returned….except he didn't come back.

I spent the rest of the night alone. I curled up into a ball as small as I could and

hid under a tree scared to death of anything and everything that made a noise in the
darkness of night. I hadn't been on the island long enough to know what kind of
animals or creatures resided there, and with my luck a leopard or something would
choose my helpless solitude as its moment to strike.

"Stupid fucking Cullen," I mumbled to myself as I tried to get comfortable in my

huddled state. "I bet you knew a leopard would attack a plumper-meatier person like
you over someone skinny like me, and that's why you left. Everyone out for
themselves, huh? I get it…" Even I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't snap
out of it. I was scared and cold, and the fact that he just ditched me was really
freaking me out, but when he didn't come back the next morning either, I really

- 22 -

started to panic.

"EDWARD!" I called into the forest. But there was no response. "Great, he fell and

broke his neck or some wild animal ate him. Now I'm stuck here all alone, and I
can't even remember the rhyme for safe berries."

It was safe to say I was feeling just a tad bit sorry for myself.

But the worst part was that he took his pocket knife with him and left me with no

way to start a fire. I was seriously screwed, and on top of everything else, he was
right, I was starving and the berries were definitely not cutting it anymore.

"What's the point really? I might as well just sit back and die." I said to myself. "I

can't believe I'm going to die as a pathetic virgin." And then I started bawling. I just
let it all out and cried like I hadn't in years. It actually felt good to cry, and I
wondered if I'd ever stop.

"Are you hurt?" Edward's voice said from behind me.

My head shot up and I looked at him. From my line of sight, the bright sun was

directly behind his head making his face shadowed in a way that he didn't look real,
but I knew instantly that I wasn't just imagining him."You're alive!" I shouted, and
then I stood and threw myself at him.

"Whoa…uh," he said uncomfortably as I hugged him.

I pulled back. "That was weird, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, just a little," he said as he pulled off his glasses to clean them with his shirt

before putting them back on.

"Oh, whatever. Where the hell have you been?" I asked with a mix of anger and

relief. My desire to apologize to him before had melted away sometime during the
night, and left me expecting him to apologize instead. What kind of jerk just walks
away from the only other person marooned on an island?

"I walked back to the other beach and wrote out a big SOS on the sand with rocks.

It took longer than I anticipated to get there so I ended up just camping there for
the night… I brought more berries," he said with a goofy apologetic grin, as if the
berries would make up for him abandoning me.

"Don't ever just leave like that again! I was going out of my mind here. There were

- 23 -

noises in the dark, and I think a leopard was stalking me, and -"

"There aren't any leopards here," he said with a laugh.

"There aren't?"

"Not in this region of the world," he said factually.

"Jaguars?"

"Closer. We were traveling south on the boat, but I doubt we went south enough

for jaguars. Besides, I'm ninety eight percent sure there are no big mammals on this
island."

"Why do you think that?"

"I haven't seen any droppings."

Ugh, why was he so gross? "So, we're safe from being eaten," I said, trying be

positive.

"I wouldn't say that," he replied casually. "Anacondas are pretty common on

islands like this."

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly to try to eradicate the thought of man eating

snakes out of my brain. "Can we just make a pact to stick together for our remaining
time on this island? I was really worried when you didn't come back."

"You were worried about me, or worried about yourself being alone?" he asked

evenly.

"Both."

"Sure," he said sarcastically as he walked past me to restart the fire.

"Look, we're not exactly friends here, but I still don't want you to die," I said

honestly.

He stood and turned to face me. "Well, I'm definitely not the one you should be

worrying about anyway, I'm actually getting protein. You, on the other hand, are at
risk for starvation."

- 24 -

I bit my lower lip anxiously. "You're really eating worms?"

"They're not so bad."

I whined before holding out my hand towards him. "Ok, give me one."

"I can cook it," he offered while gesturing towards our makeshift fire pit.

"Just give it to me before I freak myself out of it," I said in a rush.

I refused to look at it because I knew I'd never be able to go through with eating

the thing if I saw it crawling around. But nothing could stop me from feeling it as he
placed the cool, slimy insect in my hand.

"Don't think about it, just pop it in your mouth and chew," he encouraged.

I whined again and seriously thought about throwing the thing, but then I did as

he instructed. I chewed quickly and tried to swallow it down without tasting, but I
just couldn't get my mind out of it. "If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you," I
warned him as I fought the gagging reflex that was trying to overcome me.

"Right, and who would I tell? There's an iguana back there, maybe he'd be

interested in your worm consumption."

"You know what I mean…when we get back to the land of the living, you better

not tell anyone about this. I still have a reputation to uphold."

"Do you really think people would judge you because you ate worms to survive?"

he asked incredulously.

"Yes, all of my friends would freak, and there isn't a guy who'd want to kiss me

knowing what I just did."

"Wow, great group of people you surround yourself with."

I glared at him spitefully for his comment, and felt my temper boil. This obnoxious

chubby loner before me, whose hair was sticking out in all directions and his glasses
where falling down his face, had the nerve to judge my friends?

"At least I have friends, and I definitely don't go around writing ridiculous love

poems to people who are way out of my league!" I spat.

- 25 -

He nodded slowly, but had a defeated expression on his face as if I just kicked him

when he was down. "You know, there's a reason why we're not friends, so let's just
keep our conversation to survival purposes only," he said bluntly.

"That's probably for the best," I agreed. We only needed to survive together, being

friendly was definitely unnecessary. Soon enough we'd be back in civilization and
return to our normal lives; we'd never have to associate with each other again and
could just forget we were ever stuck in that horrendous position of relying on each
other for survival.

"Are there any more worms?" I asked reluctantly. The first worm I ate was

disgusting, and yet, because I was starving, it was one of the best things I had ever
eaten and I really wanted more.

He sighed. "Yeah, there's a ton. I just need to turn over some more rocks."

After eating a few more, we made our way back to the beach where we began

collecting branches and such to try to make some kind of shelter, but of course,
because of Edward's odd nature, he suddenly lost focus and began cutting wood
instead of just collecting it.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Do you want to keep eating worms for the rest of our time here?"

"You have a better idea?"

"I'm sure that reef out there has all kinds of fish, so I'm making a spear," he said

unexpectedly.

I wanted to laugh at the ridiculous notion of a guy like him attempting to make a

weapon, but I bit my tongue. If he wanted to waste his time whittling wood, that was
his problem; I, on the other hand, was going to make a shelter, so I just shook my
head and tried to ignore him.

***WARNING: I am in no way an expert on berries. Please don't take any of

this chapter as fact because that's simply not the case. If you have questions
on poisonous plants/berries, please ask an expert!

- 26 -

Breaking the Ice

Chapter 3 – Breaking the Ice

I needed a way to bind the branches together for our shelter, so I found some

dead vines in the foliage of the forest, and luckily they came apart easily so I was
able to shred them into thin strips. I started wrapping the strips around the
branches, when – "Ouch!" I screeched as a large splinter jammed into my finger.

"What happened?" Edward asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I said quickly, not wanting to admit that I was failing

miserably at making the shelter.

"And people say I'm weird," Edward mumbled under his breath while continuing

to cut the wood he was holding.

The splinter hurt like hell and my hands were throbbing after all the shredding I

was doing, so I got frustrated and gave up. If I had months with nothing else to do
but bind branches together, I was sure I'd eventually get around to finishing it, but
for the time being it was just too painful and time consuming, and I fully expected to
get rescued sooner rather than later. It didn't really matter anyway; it was warm
enough to just sleep out under the stars like we had been doing, so I figured it
wasn't important. Instead, I found myself just curiously watching Edward
concentrate so intensely on the wood he was whittling. I didn't think I had ever
worked so hard for anything in my life, and his determination was absolutely
fascinating to me.

Where was his newfound drive coming from? Perhaps he just really wanted more

to eat than berries and worms. The image of a little chubby bunny on a wheel with a
carrot dangling in front of it sprouted to my mind, but I quickly shook it away. I
really needed to try harder to not be so mean.

When he was finally confident it was sharp enough, he waded out to the reef in

order to test it out.

But of course, the stick broke.

However, Edward didn't seem too upset by his lack of success like I had been; he

just grabbed another stick and started whittling again. Six failed attempts later he

- 27 -

was able to make one strong enough to actually stab a fish, but learning to be
successful at it was a different story.

"You missed!" I shouted.

He looked back and glared at me for stating the obvious. "I'm just trying to figure

it out," he said as he walked further out on the reef.

"Oh, get that one," I said, but he just ignored me.

When he missed again, he actually showed some real normal emotions and yelled

out in frustration before throwing the spear towards the beach.

"Well, that's not very helpful," I said casually. "I guess its worms for dinner again."

"Can you just shut up for five minutes!" he said irritated. "At least I'm doing

something. I don't see you still trying to make the shelter."

"Fine, sorry," I said, and went to go sit on the rocks. I supposed he was right; I

gave up a lot sooner than he did so I had no room to talk.

Edward waded through the shin deep water back to the sand, and then grabbed

his spear before walking back to where he was. After another hour without any luck,
he got mad and gave up as well.

"I thought you said you wouldn't stop until you caught one," I teased him as he

pouted on the sand.

"There just isn't very many fish there," he said defensively. "Maybe instead of

making fun of me, you could try to help."

"How? There's only one potentially viable spear."

"I don't know….go do the girl thing a weave a bunch of palm leaves together to

make a net, or something."

"Weave? Sorry, I must have missed that part of Home Ec." I said with a laugh.

He huffed, and then a thought seemed to cross his mind.

"What?" I asked.

- 28 -

"There's another reef further out, but we'd have to swim to it."

"Oh no, don't look at me like that. Just because I can swim, doesn't mean I'm going

out there. There are probably sharks; besides, I don't know how you use that spear
thingy anyway. You're the fish expert, not me."

"What makes me a fish expert?"

"You were into the whole Marine Biology stuff. I was only there because the

counselor said it would look good on my college applications."

"Whatever….Fine, I'll go."

"How can you go? You can't swim," I reminded him.

He didn't answer; he just walked past me and into the trees. I didn't bother asking

him where he was going because it seemed as though whenever he was upset, he
went into the solitude of the trees to escape my presence. He promised he wouldn't
ditch me again over night, so I was confident he'd be back.

Usually during his alone time he'd be gone for an hour or two, so I was surprised

when he reemerged after just a couple minutes, and even more surprised that he
wasn't empty handed.

"Where have you been keeping that?" I asked surprised as he snapped on the life

vest.

"I got it when I went back to the other side of the island. I didn't think I'd need it

again, but I kept it under the brush back there just in case."

"And you're planning to use it to swim out to that other reef?"

"Yep."

"And how are you going to bring back the fish if you catch any? If there's not a

shark swimming around now, then there will be one once you spear a fish."

"I'll figure it out as I go," he said spitefully.

When he got to deeper water, he flailed around for a minute before finally

catching his balance and dog paddling out to the reef. Thankfully we didn't see any
sharks, but I still wasn't willing to follow him out there.

- 29 -

"There's a lot more fish out here!" he yelled to me as he struggled to pull himself

up onto the second reef.

"Well, get one!" I shouted back.

Even from that far, I could see the 'duh' expression on his face, but I just ignored

it. Edward stood there and watched the fish for several minutes, and then he jabbed
the spear.

"I got one!" he shouted.

"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief.

He held up the spear, and sure enough, there was a wiggling fish on the end of it.

Without warning, he pulled the fish off the end and chucked it at me.

I screamed and ran out of the projected path of the flying fish. "What the hell are

you doing?"

"Why didn't you catch it?"

"I didn't know you were throwing it, try warning me next time!"

"Well, pick it up before you lose it!"

I looked down at my feet and saw the dead fish turning in the waves, so without

thinking, I reached down and grabbed it. "It's all slimy," I complained.

"Don't drop it!"

"I'm not!" I snapped. The thing was disgusting, and if I wasn't so hungry there was

no way I'd stand there and hold it, but I supposed nothing was as bad as eating
worms. "What are you doing now? Come back so we can cook it," I said eagerly.

"No, I'm going to get a few more."

"Let's just eat this one first. It'll give you some energy."

"Just be quiet and let me spear some freaking fish!" he said assertively. I definitely

wasn't use to hearing him use that tone and it took me by surprise, but I did as he
said and kept quiet while he fished. But I wasn't the type of person to easily keep my
mouth shut when something was on my mind, so I decided to leave him to it and

- 30 -

tend to the fish we already had. I took it back to the cover of the trees and found
some more large leaves to place it on, and then brought it back to the beach.

"I have another one!" he shouted at me, and then of course, he tossed it, but I

surprised both of us and caught it. "Nice," he said enthusiastically.

"That's one each; come back now," I told him.

"Not yet," he replied quickly.

He looked absolutely ridiculous standing out there with a bright orange life vest

and large pointy stick…but he didn't seem to care. He was stranded on an island
with a girl who was sure to make fun of him and had in the past, but none of that
mattered to him. He was focused on getting fish and surviving the day, and I'd be
lying if I said it wasn't inspiring. He was right, none of that crap mattered and there
was no reason to be embarrassed on that island – there wasn't room for it, and we
sure as hell didn't have the extra energy to waste on something as superficial as
looking good and acting cool.

I decided then that it was time to pull my head out of my ass and do my fair share

of contributing to our survival… so I gave myself the nauseating task of cleaning the
fish he already caught. It was the last thing I really wanted to do, but it wasn't right
that he was doing all the work while I just sat there and watched.

I took out his knife, and winced as I cut the head off the first fish. "Ewww!" I

wanted to vomit. "Pull it together, Swan," I told myself with a deep breath, turning
my face so I didn't have to smell the stench of the bloody fish. But then something
clicked in my mind and I willed myself to just get through it. Once I was determined
to get it done, it was much easier and I realized it wasn't even as gross as I was
expecting. Next I cut open the abdomen, and rinsed it out in the waves before
bringing it back to the fire.

When I got both fish cleaned, skewered, and set over the fire, Edward returned

completely soaked.

"You cleaned the fish?" he asked surprised as he unsnapped his life vest. "How'd

you know how to do that?"

I shrugged. "My dad is an avid fisherman and used to make me go with him. I

always refused to clean them before, but I watched enough times to know what to
do," I explained.

- 31 -

"Cool," he said. When he opened his vest to take it off, two more fish fell out.

"Wow, you did well," I said impressed.

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be," he said with a smirk.

I cleaned the other two fish, and then roasted those as well. When they were

finished, we sat there and ate them feeling like it was Thanksgiving. The two
medium to small sized fish we each had wasn't much by normal standards, but we
were beyond stuffed and spent the rest of the evening throwing up.

"Ugh, were they poisonous?" I asked weakly.

"No, I think we just ate too much after not eating anything for a few days," he

explained.

I had already vomited in front of Edward once before, but doing it at the same

time as him, side by side, was absolutely disgusting and yet strangely cathartic. He
didn't comment on it, and neither did I. We just did what we needed to do and
waited for the other to finish as well. When we were both done emptying the
contents of our stomachs onto the sand, we helped each other up and walked slowly
back to where we had slept the night before. We laid down wishing for the horrible
feeling to just pass as soon as possible, and we drifted off to sleep for the night.

The next day came way too soon, and before I was even fully awake, Edward was

back in his life vest and back on the reef. I followed his lead and got ready for the
morning as well by rebuilding the fire and finding new sticks to roast the fish with.
He wasn't gone long before returning successfully with our breakfast, except this
time, we were more reserved with our consumption.

"Fish has never tasted so good," I said when we were done.

"Well, we'll be eating more for lunch…and dinner…and breakfast the next

morning. We're pretty much going to be eating fish until we're found," he replied.

I smiled; anything was better than worms. "When we get sick of eating fish, we

can always imagine it's something else."

"Like the Neverfood?" he said with a laugh, and I surprised both of us when I

knew what he was talking about.

- 32 -

"No, the Neverfood was completely imaginary; at least we have it better than

them."

"Wait, you've seen 'Hook'?" he asked.

"I loved that movie growing up," I told him.

"Me too," he said with a grin.

"I think most kids did - at least I know all my friends did," I added quickly, though

I wasn't exactly sure why I felt the need to say that. "So, what would be your
Neverfood?" I asked after a minute.

"Pizza," he said quietly. "I swear I could almost taste it right now. How about

you?"

"Doughnuts…no, chili cheese fries," I said, having a hard time deciding which I

wanted more at the moment.

"You like that stuff?" he asked surprised.

"My dad's the police chief and a huge sports fan, of course I like doughnuts and

chili cheese fries," I said with a laugh. "Why do you look so surprised?"

He shrugged. "I just thought girls like you only ate salads and tofu."

"I'm more of a ballpark food kind of girl," I admitted.

"So, you really eat those things…like more than just Neverfood wise? If we were

back home right now, you would actually eat chili cheese fries?" he asked
skeptically.

"I had some the day before we left on the boat."

He looked absolutely bewildered. "How do stay…looking like that?" he asked,

gesturing to my body.

"I just have a fast metabolism," I told him.

"That's so unfair," he mumbled.

"Well, I'm active too. Cheerleading isn't just pompoms and flirting with the

- 33 -

football players," I told him. "Maybe if you exercised more you wouldn't have so
much trouble with your weight."

I was in no way trying to be mean, and I chose my words carefully so they

wouldn't be offensive; thankfully he understood my innocent intentions.

"My mom is….a little over protective, and she doesn't like me doing sports and

such," he explained.

"Why?" I asked.

"I think it's about my dad….the way he died. She just doesn't want to lose me the

way she did him…." He let his sentence trail off as he realized that was exactly what
happened. His poor mother was probably out of her mind with worry for him at the
moment, especially considering her history with his father.

"How did he die?" I asked hesitantly.

"He drowned," he said, taking me aback.

"Are you serious?" I asked feeling worse than I ever had before. If his father

drowned, it made sense that his mother wouldn't want him in water to learn to
swim.

"He liked to surf…he was one of those physical-sporty types. He hit a rough wave

that knocked him out and dragged him under. His friends rushed out to try to save
him, but they couldn't find him. His body washed on shore sometime later. I don't
remember him much, but I do know that it changed my mom. She never wanted me
in the water or to do much physically."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea," I said regretfully.

"Why are you sorry? You didn't make him drown."

"No, but I thought your lack of swimming was just…."

"Pathetic," he finished for me. "Yeah, I know."

"So, why didn't you learn on your own? I mean, you're fifteen; you could have

learned at school or something."

"I've always been busy with other things."

- 34 -

"Like Chess Club and Marine Biology?" I assumed.

He shrugged. "I never really knew how to make friends, so those were things that

I could do alone."

"But you don't enjoy them?" I asked.

"There have been times when I wished I was into more…normal things. I think

having socially acceptable pastimes would make it easier for certain people to like
me."

"Certain people like Tanya," I guessed.

But then he got uncomfortable. "I thought we agreed to not speak unless it's about

survival," he said defensively.

"You know, unrequited love is pretty normal in high school," I assured him, trying

to make him a little less embarrassed about it. "Twenty years from now you won't
even remember her name."

"Yeah, and what would you know about it? There isn't a guy in school who would

turn you down."

"Well…I don't know about it personally….but a lot of my friends have had that

problem."

He shook his head. "Can we just stick to life and death topics please," he

reiterated.

"Fine," I said. "But…maybe since we're here for however long we might be here

for, I can work with you on swimming."

"Really?" he asked surprised by my offer.

"Yeah, I used to be an instructor at the swim school….I mean, I never taught

anyone over the age of ten, but I guess I can make an exception."

"Gee thanks," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, come on, I'm not trying to be mean."

"No, you're just teasing me."

- 35 -

"Well, if we can't joke around with each other, who are we going to joke with?"

He rolled his eyes. "When do you want to start?" he asked unenthusiastically.

"I'm still hoping to be rescued soon, so we'll start tomorrow and see how far we

can get. If you can't swim by the time we leave here, then I'll continue lessons at
home. We don't have to tell anyone."

He shook his head. "If I haven't learned by the time we leave here than I never

will. We don't have to have secret meetings back home."

"I didn't mean it like that," I told him honestly; he obviously misunderstood me. "I

just meant secret because your mom doesn't want you to take lessons, not that I
would be embarrassed to be seen with you."

"It doesn't really matter to me either way… And you don't have to automatically

pretend to be my friend when we get back either; just because we were stuck here
together for however long we end up being stuck here for, doesn't mean we're
bonded for life."

I didn't respond. It may sound mean and shallow, but the truth was that I didn't

want to be his friend, not really anyway. I wanted to just wake up in my bedroom
back home and realize it was all just a horrible dream. I wanted to go back to my life
and pick up right where I left off… but I wasn't dreaming, and I was secretly starting
to lose confidence that we would get rescued at all.

Daddy, where are you?

- 36 -

Hard Humor

Chapter 4 – Hard Humor

"If you're going to learn how to swim, you'll need to take off the life vest," I said to

him the next day.

"I thought we could just practice the basic moves first. Once I get the hang of

them I'll take it off," he replied nervously.

"It's a small lagoon," I argued. "If I was teaching you in the ocean I could

understand the need for the life vest."

"Fine," he said nervously, and then took off the vest.

"Are you going to swim with your shirt on?" I asked him.

"Are you?" he retorted. Edward hadn't taken off his shirt in my presence since I

made that comment about his weight; I felt bad, but he wouldn't listen to my
apologies either.

"Women don't usually swim topless," I told him.

"I didn't say topless, but you have a bra, right?"

"I'm not going to show you my bra," I snapped.

"A bra covers the same as a bikini, so what's the difference. Besides, I'm sure

you've had a lot more guys see you naked than I've had girls. It should be nothing
new for you."

"Are you calling me a slut?" I asked offended.

"No more than you called me fat."

"You know what, teach yourself how to swim!" I said angrily, and then stormed off

towards the beach.

I sat on the sand dunes and just watched the horizon, praying for a ship to pass. I

couldn't stay on that island with Edward the Freak Cullen - what the hell did I ever

- 37 -

do to deserve that? - Ok, I haven't always been nice to people, but I never broke any
laws and there were a hell of a lot meaner people at Forks High who deserved a fate
worse than mine.

An hour or so later I realized that Edward didn't follow me out, so I got concerned

that he ditched me again. I couldn't stand the guy, but I couldn't stand the idea of
being alone more, so I hurried back to the lagoon but then stopped dead in my
tracks when I saw him. He was actually trying to teach himself how to swim.

He was in the water up to his neck in the deepest part of the lagoon, and he kept

letting go of the rocky edge then he'd flail about to try to stay above water, before
grabbing a hold of the rock again.

"You're moving around too quickly," I said to him.

"What?" he asked confused.

"When you tread water, don't move around so fast. It takes up too much energy

and you'll just end up sinking."

"What am I supposed to do then?"

"Here, I'll show you," I said, and without allowing myself to over think it, I pulled

my shirt over my head and jumped into the water. When I came back up, Edward
had a stunned expression on his face. "It's easier to do without a heavy wet shirt
on," I explained. "Take yours off too."

"I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Oh come on, I've already seen you without your shirt. It'll be easier to learn how

to do this if you take it off."

"Fine," he said, but taking off his shirt without letting go of the rock was rather

difficult, so I tried to help him. "Ok, I got it!" he snapped at me. He obviously didn't
want me touching him, so I backed off and let him do it himself.

After flailing around, he finally wrestled it off and then turned and waited for my

instructions. If he didn't remove his shirt I probably wouldn't have noticed, but he
was definitely losing weight – He was still chubby, but just in the few days that
passed since I last saw him shirtless, he was visibly thinner. Of course, I had no idea
why I was surprised; exercise and an all fish diet would make anyone lose weight.

- 38 -

"Ok, now you want to make calm, smooth motions. Move your arms back and forth

horizontally and rotate your legs in a circular motion," I instructed.

He nervously let go of the rock and moved the way I had told him to, but he still

did it too quickly.

"Slow it down. Relaxed, even circles," I told him, and as I said the words, I

demonstrated exactly what I was talking about so there would be no confusion.

He emulated my movements, and surprising to him, he stayed above water. "Hey,

I'm doing it!" he said excitedly.

"And that's the first step of swimming."

"Really?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Well, usually I make the little kids learn to blow bubbles then float on their backs

first, but for you this is definitely a good starting point."

"Cool," he said before grabbing the wall.

"Hey, no holding on! You can tread water now, so start treading," I chided him

encouragingly.

"Well, I know I'm probably one of the fittest people you've ever taught, but I still

need to take a breather," he said lightly.

"Did you just make a joke?" I asked with a grin. It didn't sound like a snide

comment, so I took a chance and asked him if he was joking.

"See, only fat people can make fun of fat people," he said with a smirk.

"And only sluts can make fun of sluts," I joked back. He just stared at me, so I

sighed. "I started it anyway by calling you fat."

"You didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"No, I shouldn't have said anything at all. Sometimes I talk before I think and I'm

really sorry," I said sincerely.

"Yeah, well, we're both stuck here and we're two entirely different people so we're

bound to clash… I just need to not be so sensitive about it," he said.

- 39 -

"And I need to try harder to be nice," I added.

He nodded. "I'm sorry too; I didn't mean to call you a slut. I've never been the type

of person to say cruel things to other people."

"Ok, well, now that apologies are out of the way, let's get you to swim."

When the lessons were done for the day, we got out and both put on our shirts as

quickly as possible. My bra was white, and I wasn't sure if the water had made it
translucent or not and I sure as hell didn't want him seeing my breasts.

We dried off by the fire with freshly caught fish roasting on the flames, and we

spent the evening telling ridiculously cheesy, grade school level scary stories.

"So the ghostly voice kept saying 'bloody finger, bloody finger' until it was right on

the campers, and then…"

"What?" I asked impatiently. The stupid story was actually freaking me out a bit,

and I just wanted it to be over.

"The ghoul opened the tent and all the kids screamed, but he just waited for them

to stop and then asked 'what, I just wanted a band aid'," Edward said with a childish
chuckle.

"That is the stupidest thing I ever heard!" I said while throwing a fish head at him.

"That was gross," he complained.

"Well, you deserved it after your stupid story."

Suddenly we were both laughing, but our light mood was quickly

dampened…literally.

"Oh no!" I screamed as the rain pelted my face. Neither of us even saw the rain

clouds forming above, but the wind picked up and we were definitely in trouble. "Is
this a typhoon?" I asked before we ran for cover under the trees.

"I think it's just rain!" he yelled over the sound of the wind.

We should have known it would rain eventually; putting off building our shelter

was a bad idea and I took the blame entirely onto myself. But it wasn't just wet, it
was cold so we huddled together at the base of a tree and just waited out the storm.

- 40 -

If I thought I was miserable before that night, boy was I wrong.

After the worst night of our lives, we set out with a new determination. It didn't

matter if we were going to be on that island another day or a decade; we needed to
build a shelter.

Working together to strip the vines for the bindings made it go a lot faster, but

there still weren't enough hours in the day to make a complete sturdy structure, so
we opted for only making one wall. We got lucky and found a vacant shallow cave in
the rocks by the blue lagoon, and used our makeshift wall to close it off. I only
wished we found the cave the night before during the storm. It was probably one of
the busiest days I ever had. Not only did it take hours to make the wall, but we also
had to fish and build a fire which took a lot of time as well. By the time the sun set,
we were both exhausted…but of course, I couldn't sleep.

"Lay down," Edward told me after my antsy jittering woke him up for the third

time.

"I can't, it's all hard and rocky."

"The less you move, the easier it will be to fall asleep."

"I can't. There's a sharp rock where my head is supposed to go…and I keep feeling

things crawling on me," I complained while brushing off whatever was crawling up
my arm.

Finally he had enough of my whining and he once again, left me. Thankfully, he

returned right away and had his life vest.

"You're not going swimming right now, are you?" I asked confused.

"No, it's for you," he said while handing it to me.

"Uh…"

"To lay on," he said full of irritation.

"Oh…thanks," I said before gratefully putting it under my head.

"We'll figure out a way to make the ground more cushiony tomorrow," he said.

- 41 -

"Now, go to sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'm fine," he said evenly.

"No way, come over here and lay with me," I insisted.

"I'm not lying with you," he said sternly.

"Why? We're just sleeping."

"I thought you were repulsed by me?" he said bitterly.

"Why do you think that?" I asked guiltily.

"Oh, come on; I know how you and your friends talk about me."

"I thought we weren't going to think about all of that while were here," I reminded

him. "Besides, I'm sure I'm just as disgusting right now. The lagoon water isn't
exactly soapy, if you know what I mean. Come and rest you head on the other side of
this life vest."

"No."

"Fine, then I won't either," I said stubbornly and pushed the vest away.

It was almost pitch black in the cave, but the faint glow from the fire we had built

right outside was enough to allow us to barely see one another. He could tell by my
expression that I wasn't going to give in, so he huffed and spread out the life vest as
far as it would go before laying on the half closest to him. I smiled smugly and then
laid down on the other half, and willed myself to sleep….

I was in a warm tranquil spa with a virgin daiquiri in one hand, and a chocolate

covered strawberry in the other. I just laid down on the massage table while the
masseuse began rubbing me down with hot rocks, but then something poked me in
the back and I became seriously uncomfortable.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I tried to push away whatever it was that was

poking me. When it wouldn't move I suddenly realized I was dreaming, so I forced
my eyes open and remembered where I was. Morning was just peeking through the
slats of our handmade wall, but even though I was fully awake, the thing jabbing me

- 42 -

was still there.

"What the…?"

I was lying on my side, and Edward was pressed tightly into my back with his

heavy arm draping over me, and his groin was….

"Oh my god!" I jumped, which startled him awake.

"What?" he asked dazed as he tried to focus from the abrupt way he was woken

up.

"You…your…" it was too embarrassing to even say out loud, but he quickly caught

on to the issue.

"Oh shit!" he said horrified. He practically jumped out of the cave and ran off into

the trees.

I couldn't believe what had just happened. It wasn't like I hadn't encountered an

erection before; Jake and I dealt with it quite often, but still, the thought of Edward
Cullen's erection pressed against my back- albeit a surprisingly impressive size for
such a short guy - was definitely a surreal and disturbing moment. Had he been
dreaming about me? The thought was more than a little unsettling so I decided to
believe he was dreaming about Tanya, or perhaps it was just normal – everyday –
morning wood. It was natural for guys, right?

I guess the worst part of the whole thing was the fact that I had never really

thought of Edward as a 'guy'. Yes, he was a boy, and possibly even a few months
older than me, but I had always seen him as some asexual being that just hung
around in the background. It was a pretty shallow thought.

But the one thing I did know for sure was that the next few hours were going to be

uncomfortable….

I climbed out of the cave slowly, unsure if Edward was around or not, and when I

didn't see him I walked over to the lagoon for a morning swim. The water always felt
so refreshing in the morning and was my favorite part of the day on the island, but I
couldn't enjoy it the way I usually did.

After I was done swimming, I put my shirt on and headed out to the beach. I had

decided swimming in my bra was acceptable and I intended to swim that way from
then on, but Edward's morning surprise made me think twice about it. Was that why

- 43 -

he was aroused?

Edward aroused? – The thought made me shutter.

When I made it out of the forest to the sandy dunes of the beach, I saw Edward

back on the reef, and back in his life vest.

"Weren't ready to swim without the vest yet?" I called to him, but of course he

didn't respond. I already knew he wasn't ready because we only had one lesson; I
was just trying to think of something to say to break the ice. "Caught any fish?"

"Yep," he replied, and without really looking at me, he tossed the fish.

Catching the flying fish was reflexive at that point, so I immediately brought it

over to our fire-pit to begin cleaning it. Edward came up behind me just as the first
fish was done cooking, and handed me the rest of his catch.

"Here, you eat this one," I said while handing him the cooked fish.

"I'll wait until the other one is done; you cooked it, you should have the first," he

argued.

"Then this one will get cold….just eat it," I insisted.

"Fine….thanks," he said hesitantly before taking it from me and walking over to

the rocks to eat.

"You don't have to go so far away, you know," I called to him.

"I'm just sitting," he said defensively.

"Yeah, well usually we sit together to eat."

"Would it make you feel better if I came to sit with you?" he said condescendingly.

"Yes," I said, refusing to let his uncharacteristically sour mood get to me.

He grudgingly kicked the sand as he walked back to me, and then sat without

another word and still refused to look up at me.

"You really don't have to be embarrassed," I said uncomfortably.

- 44 -

"Can we just not talk about it!" he shouted.

"Ok," I said quietly.

"Just forget it ever happened," he added.

"Done," I agreed, though forgetting it was next to impossible. We sat in awkward

silence for the rest of breakfast, but then I decided it was time to get over it. "Ready
for more swimming lessons?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because I just don't want to."

"Oh, come on Edward; don't let something as….normal as morning wood stop you

from learning to swim. It's fine, really. I don't care, and neither should you."

He thought about it for a few minutes, and then he sighed. "What are you going to

teach me today?"

"Um….maybe we'll start working on the breath stroke. Once you can do that then

you can swim."

"Ok," he said, letting go some of his tension, but I could still feel it radiating off

him. "Whenever you're finished eating."

It wasn't that I was ever comfortable with him, but I worried that he'd never relax

again after that, and I was slightly concerned how bed time was going to be that
night, so I threw caution to the wind and decided to just say what was on my mind.

"So….did you whack off?"

"What?" he asked, stunned by my question.

"I'm only asking because I don't want to be trekking through the forest and run

into something sticky and wonder about it."

"Oh, you are sick," he said perturbed.

"No, I'm serious. God, what's the big deal anyway? So, you masturbate, who

- 45 -

doesn't?"

"Bella, just stop."

"Just tell me where you did it so I don't accidently walk there. Come on, we have

designated areas to pee and poop, might as well have a spot for cum too." I tried to
hold it in, but the ridiculousness of my comment was getting to me and I started
laughing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he said disturbed. "Like seriously, are you

mentally unstable?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation while I continued to laugh breathlessly. I was more

than mentally unstable, I was becoming uncontrollably insane. What the hell was I
talking about anyway? I was mortified by the garbage coming out of my mouth, but
it was like I was a twelve year old sitting through Sex Ed class; ridiculously laughing
to escape the embarrassment I was feeling.

"You're a moron," he mumbled, but then out of nowhere he started laughing as

well.

"I just don't want to get all sticky," I said with tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Yeah, it's hard to get it off without soap," he said through his own hysterics… and

that did it, I laughed even harder and I started getting dizzy. I fell over on my back
and started rolling around to stop the convulsing madness overcoming me, but it
was of no use.

I had thought the crying fit I had a few days prior was therapeutic, but I was

wrong - laughing felt so good that I even had a moment where I wasn't completely
hating life.

But rolling around in the sand wasn't the best idea because then it got in my lungs

and my laughing turned into coughing.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked after I caught my breath.

"Yeah," I said while inhaling deeply. "Sorry, I have no idea what that was about."

He shrugged. "That's ok. Sorry for the boner," he said casually, which set us off on

a new round of laughter.

- 46 -

When we were both finally calm again, I took another deep breath. "Ready to go

swim?"

"Yep," he replied.

We were covered in sand, but otherwise the discomfort between us from the

morning seemed completely gone, and I think we were both grateful for it. The last
thing we needed was for things to be even more awkward between us.

- 47 -

Adapting

Chapter 5 – Adapting

"Good, but make sure you rotate that arm all the way over your head…..Kick your

legs harder and faster," I instructed Edward. He was actually doing extremely well
and caught on quickly to everything I told him….Getting his confidence level up
however, was a different story.

"I just can't do it," he said frustrated.

"What do you mean? You are doing it," I said confused.

"But I can't do it for a long time; I keep getting tired and then I panic."

"Edward, you can do it, I know you can," I said encouragingly. Our eyes met

unexpectedly, and I curiously found myself locked in his striking gaze. I supposed I
never looked him in the eye before, not really anyway, and I was strangely
hypnotized by the depth of the intense green color.

Suddenly he nodded, breaking the odd connection we had been trapped in. "Ok,"

he murmured before turning and pushing off the rocks to practice the swimming
stroke once more.

After that, Edward seemed to become obsessed with swimming. Whenever he

wasn't fishing, he was swimming in the lagoon and I was beginning to worry he'd
shrivel up into one big prune from all the time he spent in the water. A few days
later I stopped with the lessons. There wasn't much more I could teach him and he
was getting frustrated by my juvenile level techniques anyway. I usually watched
him from the side of the lagoon to make sure he was ok, but after awhile I was
confident enough in his ability and I became too restless to sit there all day
anymore. I couldn't physically pull him out of the water if necessary anyway, so I
spent that time walking the beach and collecting shells.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I asked nervously before his first attempt to

swim to the further reef, sans life vest. "Swimming in the ocean is a bit harder,
especially while carrying a spear," I warned him.

"Undercurrents and drifts, I know," he said confidently. He looked at me with a

- 48 -

crooked reassuring smile, which oddly made my breath catch. He wasn't wearing his
glasses because he was about to swim, and his grown out hair was hanging in his
face which made him look different somehow…older. His features had changed
since arriving on the island as well - his nose was more defined, and his cheeks and
jaw line were becoming more angular. If I was being honest with myself, I might
have even thought he was almost beautiful. Almost. But it was Edward Cullen I was
talking about, and words like beautiful didn't make sense when describing him.

"I've been practicing swimming with the spear and I'm ready for the other stuff as

well," he added.

"Ok," I said, trying to ignore the unwanted thoughts circling my mind. But

suddenly I felt a little protective of him, sort of like a mother duck taking her
duckling out on open water for the first time, so I decided to swim with him….
Though I should have heeded my own warning – the undercurrent was strong and I
struggled a bit. But I was beyond surprised with the speed and ease Edward took to
the waves; I was still faster, but not by much.

"Wow, you almost beat me," I said when we were safely on the reef.

"Well, I could always feel the currents before, even with the life vest, so I knew

what to expect. Do you really think I did well?" he asked proudly.

"You did awesome….But since I taught you to swim and I came all the way out

here, it's your turn to teach me how to use that spear thingy."

"You want me to teach you to fish?" he asked surprised.

"I just really want to jab that thing at something," I replied, feeling slightly

sadistic.

"Ok," he said with a chuckle. He handed me the spear and told me how to aim it.

"No, hold it here," he said while repositioning my hands to the 'proper' location.

"Like this?" I asked.

"Yep, go for it."

I zeroed in on a nice sized fish, and then jabbed it as hard as I could….and missed.

"What was it you said about treading water? Smooth and calm," he instructed like

a smartass.

- 49 -

When I still did it too hard, he huffed then got behind me and placed his hands

over mine to guide me. His bare chest was pressed against my barely covered back,
and the position reminded me of the night he woke up with a hard on - but strangely
enough, it wasn't uncomfortable like I was expecting. I didn't have that same strong
urge to get away from him, and that superficial feeling of disgust was nothing more
than a distant memory. In fact, having him so close almost felt…good. I realized in
that moment that I had been craving to be touched since we got there, and not in a
gross sexual way, I just needed some normal casual human contact.

He jabbed our arms forward, smooth and precise, and amazingly there was a fish

stuck to the end of the spear.

"We did it!" I shouted in amazement. He smiled at me, and for once I forget where

we were. I wasn't the popular girl, and he wasn't the geek who wrote my best friend
love letters. We weren't even marooned on a deserted island right then; we were
just two people, feeling triumphant and way too happy about spearing a fish.

"See, now if I end up getting killed you'll still be able to fish for yourself," he said

unexpectedly, and the carefree moment was over.

"You better not die. Being stuck here is bad enough, there's no way I could do it

all alone."

He laughed. "Ok, then if I break my leg or something, you'll be able to get the

fish."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. Though, I'll leave it to you until then."

"And I'll leave the cleaning to you. I really don't know how you can stomach that,"

he said.

"You would do it if you had to….but you have yourself a deal. You fish, I cook. It's

very….domestic."

"Whoa now, don't go there," he said lightly. "I'd expect my wife to be a bit more

handy."

I stared at him in shock for a moment, and the smirk that crept across his face

made me break out and start laughing. "You're disgusting," I said between giggles.

"Hey, you started the dirty jokes," he said defensively, and he was right, I had. It

was a way to ease the awkwardness between us, and it worked. Besides, a little

- 50 -

crude joke never hurt anyone….as long as it was in good humor.

"Yeah well, if I was your wife you'd have to do a lot better than just bringing home

some fish."

"Like what?" he asked clueless. "Seaweed?"

I scrunched my face. "Eww, no…. How about….shrimp?"

He scratched his head. "That would be difficult. Shrimp usually stay near the

bottom of the ocean except at night when they come up to feed."

I rolled my eyes at his knowledge. Our playful joking had turned into a factual

lesson in Marine Biology. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for his knowledge, but
it did sort of take the fun out of the moment. "We should get back to cook up the
fish. I'm sure my fish will be the best we've had yet," I said with faux narcissism

"Ok, why don't you head back and start the fire; I'll stay and catch a few more."

"Are you sure you'll be fine swimming back on your own?" I asked.

"Definitely….although, I don't have the vest to stuff them in to swim back. I'm not

sure how to swim with the spear and the fish."

"That's easy, you can throw them at me," I said with a wink.

"Cool."

I handed Edward my fish so he could toss it to me when I got back on the beach,

but just as I was about to dive in the water, Edward caught me by the arm.

"What is it?" I asked confused.

"Shark," he said simply.

"Where?" I asked in a panic.

"There, see the dorsal fin? It looks like a Blacktip…. Man, that's so cool!"

"Never mind the coolness factor, what are we going to do?"

"Oh, right," he said, remembering how serious of a predicament we were in. The

- 51 -

shark was circling the reef and it didn't look like he was going to go anywhere
anytime soon. "I don't think we can out swim it, especially me….we might just have
to wait it out."

"How long will that be?"

He shrugged. "Depends. He probably came because he smelled the blood from

your fish….he could be here for awhile."

"Great. Why didn't he ever come before? You've been spearing fish out here for….

How long has it been, anyway?"

"Well, I was notching off days on my spear," he said while pointing to the small

cuts in the stick. "But I sort of lost count when I was learning how to swim."

"How long do you think it's been?"

He scratched his head. "Two weeks….maybe three."

"Three weeks?" I said to myself. In a way it felt like we had been there forever, but

at the same time I couldn't believe three whole weeks could have passed without
any sign of rescue. Were people even still looking for us?

We stood there quietly for awhile, and just watched the shark swimming around

the reef. Luckily, where we were wasn't deep enough for the shark, but I had no
idea how long we were going to be stuck there. Was the shark stalking us? Did he
even know we were there, or was he after something else?

"What are we going to do?" I asked. "We can't just stay out here forever."

"I know, I'm thinking," Edward replied slowly while studying the shark intently.

"This is really our only food source, we can't let this shark take it over," he said,
mostly to himself. "I can try to spear it."

"And then we lose a spear….and make the water all bloody and attract more

sharks."

"Our only other option is to distract it somehow and then swim as fast as we can."

"I'm a good swimmer, but I'm not sure how fast I am, and you're still new at it," I

argued.

- 52 -

"That's the only plan I have," he said with a sigh.

"That's it?" I asked in panicked disbelief. "How can that be you're only plan? I

thought you were like some super smart boy scout, or something. Shouldn't you be
able to come up with like three different ideas? Ones that don't include us trying to
out-swim a shark and probably get eaten."

He shook his head. "That's all I got…. But the probability of us getting attacked is

fifty/ fifty."

"Fifty/fifty as in…the shark will probably eat one of us."

He smirked. "Well, in that case you'll probably be safe. Like you said, I haven't

been swimming long and I'm more meaty."

"Can you stop?" I asked anxiously. He kept joking around and I didn't find

anything funny about the situation.

"Panicking isn't going to solve anything," he said calmly. "Besides I'm serious

about the plan, I really think it'll work."

"What, us swimming for it and the shark choosing the slower swimmer?"

"No," he said frustrated. Without anymore warning, he cut the fish's stomach so it

would bleed out and then he threw it out past the shark. "Swim now!" he shouted,
and before I could protest, he pushed me into the water.

I didn't have time to be upset by his ridiculously stupid move; we were swimming

in shark infested waters, so we were swimming for our lives.

When I reached the shore I went from panting from the exertion of the fastest

swimming I had ever done, to absolutely terrified when I saw Edward wasn't there
with me. I jumped up to look for him, and saw him just coming ashore with the shark
only a few yards behind him.

"Hurry!" I shouted, though I doubted the shark could get to him from there.

Without thinking about anything other than the fact that we were both alive, I
grabbed him and pulled him up before hugging him tightly. I couldn't remember
ever feeling that scared before - not even when we were dying of thirst on the dingy
in the middle of the ocean. I had needed that contact anyway; after such a brush
with death I just wanted him to hold me.

- 53 -

"It's fine," he said while breathing heavily and embracing me in his arms. "It

wasn't chasing us."

"It was right there!" I argued, still shaking from the horror of it all. "If you had

been just a little slower it would have gotten you."

"Nah, it never took an aggressive position. Besides, Blacktip Reef Sharks don't

usually go after large prey like seals or people. They only attack when provoked or
out of curiosity."

"So, you're saying we were never really in any danger?" I asked, pulling away and

getting angry. "What was with that whole fifty/fifty crap?"

"Well, it could have bitten us if it wanted to," he said casually.

"You jerk!" I said while slapping his arm.

"Ouch, what was that for?"

"Why didn't you tell me it wasn't a dangerous shark? You knew how scared I was!"

"It's not not dangerous," he contradicted. "It just wasn't dangerous right then."

I screeched out in irritation, and then stormed off towards the lagoon. I was so

beyond livid that I couldn't even see straight. And to think, I was actually worried
about him.

On top of everything else, that was the day I got my period.

FUCK!

I had no idea what to do without any pads or tampons, and I certainly couldn't go

swimming anymore - That would attract sharks for sure, and the lagoon doubled as
our drinking water, so both were out of the question.

I just sat in my designated 'bathroom' area of the forest with my shorts and

underwear pulled down around my ankles. Thank god we were smart enough to
separate our private spots, the last thing I needed was for him to walk up on me like
that.

I must have sat there for a few hours or so before a plan came to me. I had no idea

how well it would work, but it was all I had so I decided to try it. I kicked off my

- 54 -

shoes and removed my socks before lining my underwear with a long thick leaf…and
one of my socks. I figured once the sock was all soaked through I could wash it out
and use the other as it dried.

When I was convinced it was working, I grudgingly walked out to the beach.

"Are you ok, you've been gone for awhile?" Edward asked quietly. "I'm really sorry

about the shark."

I shrugged. "It's fine," I said, not wanting to relive it. "You cleaned fish?" I asked

surprised. He was sitting and fire roasting some fresh fish that I certainly didn't
clean.

"Yeah, well you weren't here…and I suppose I should do it every once in awhile,

just to make sure I know how….you know, like you did with the fishing," he
explained.

"What about the shark?"

He shrugged. "It must have left. I didn't see it anywhere and I was out there for an

hour."

I nodded absently.

"So, I went looking for you, but I couldn't find you anywhere….Where did you go?"

Edward asked hesitantly.

"Nowhere," I snapped at him, but then I sighed. Getting my period was a normal

event, just as morning hard-ons were for him. "I was in my 'bathroom'…. I got my
period," I mumbled.

"Um…Haven't you gotten one before?" he asked, not understanding the issue.

"Yeah, well I can't exactly go to the store for tampons, now can I."

"Oh…So...?" he let his sentence trail off. He didn't want to know, and I sure as hell

didn't want to tell him either.

"I'm using my sock," I said regardless. Why I told him that, I had no idea.

And of course, he started laughing. "That's gross!"

- 55 -

"Go ahead, laugh it up," I said, trying to contain my own smirk.

"If it'll help, here," he said while removing his shoes and socks. "I'll donate my

socks to the cause."

"I don't want your disgusting smelly socks on me there!"

"You could always wash them in the ocean. Saltwater is cleansing."

"I'll be fine with mine, thanks," I said mockingly.

My system of washing and drying one sock while pairing the other with a leaf as a

period pad seemed to work fine, and luckily, my period was surprisingly light,
though I wasn't exactly sure why. Was my lack of caloric intake causing issues with
me period? I had heard of athletes in training or girls that were sick losing their
periods, and if that was what was happening with me, I was more than happy about
it.

After three days, my period was done - which was about half as long as normal,

but another hygiene issue was driving me insane and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Where are you taking that?" Edward asked when I grabbed his Swiss Army knife.

"I need it…but I only need this one," I said while pulling apart the different knife

attachments. We had figured out brushing our teeth – Edward gave me a chewing
stick which I used with the saltwater of the ocean, and now the bathroom and period
thing was tolerable, but the fact that I hadn't shaved since we got there was
disturbing and I was starting to feel way too flower-childish.

I never shaved with a knife or straight blade before, but anything was better than

hairy man pits. My legs didn't bother me as much, I always had fine hair there that
wasn't really noticeable before I started shaving, no worse than the hair on my arms,
but the pits needed to be cleaned out. When rescue did come, I certainly didn't want
to be found looking like an uncivilized caveman.

I waded into the lagoon, but before I could get my clothes wet, I decided I really

just wanted to feel as normal as possible, so it was time for a real bath. I took off all
my clothes -underwear and all - and swam out to under the waterfall where it was
shallow and I could sit. Carefully I angled the side of the knife and proceeded to
shave my armpits. It was actually rather nerve-racking; one slip of my hand and I
could seriously hurt myself, but it all went smoothly enough. I curiously found
myself wondering if Edward was shaving the same way, or perhaps he wasn't

- 56 -

physically mature enough to even have facial hair yet. He certainly didn't have chest
hair, so it was possible he didn't need to shave at all.

It wasn't the first time I had gone skinny dipping in the lagoon, but usually I'd tell

Edward when I was bathing so he'd stay away, this time however, was a very
unwelcomed encounter. Just as I was heading over to where I left my clothes,
Edward walked up to the lagoon and stopped dead in his tracks.

He was just staring at me wide eyed like he had never seen a naked woman

before, and I guess he probably hadn't. And although I'd never admit it out loud, for
a brief moment I actually liked it. It was the way he was looking at me, something
that started out as shocked gawking turned into something more intense, something
almost animalistic; like the way a man would stare at the woman he was about to
make mad passionate love to. That raw desire was flattering….and almost erotically
enticing.

But then the moment passed and I remembered where we were and who we'd

never be. "Don't just stand there, TURN AROUND!" I screamed. - Fucking perve
would have a whole new image to wack off to now.

He quickly turned while mumbling some kind of apology, but all I really wanted to

do was escape his presence. How could I be stranded on some vacant island with
only one other person, and yet, still feel like there was nowhere I could go to be
alone.

I really didn't know why I was so pissed, it was obviously not his fault, but it only

left me feeling confused and questioning everything, and I couldn't shake the sour
mood that followed me for the next few days as I was trying to figure it all out….

- 57 -

Falling Apart

Chapter 6 – Falling Apart

It was clear skies above and plenty warm out, so rather than sleep in the cave

with Edward I decided to sleep out on the beach in order to get that distance I so
desperately needed. Ever since he saw me naked I had been having strange
thoughts that I couldn't really process, so I was trying to avoid him. When avoiding
him wasn't really possible, I just found myself getting irritated and snapping at him
for no particular reason.

"Why are you still sleeping?" I asked spitefully one early afternoon when he had

yet to come out of the cave. Unlike with his boner, we didn't talk about the naked
incident, and I never planned to either. It was just another natural fact of life, but
like winter turning into spring, something was definitely changing between us that
was both subtle and drastic at the same time. I just wasn't sure what it was or how I
felt about it, so bitterness sprouted from my confusion and I had no idea how to get
a handle of it.

"I don't know, I'm just tired," he said groggily.

"Are you sick?"

"No…I don't think so….but everything hurts," he moaned as he forced himself to

get up.

"Well, maybe it's because you've been exercising a lot," I said sourly. You would

think a guy who aced anatomy would know that exercise can cause muscle aches,
especially when the body wasn't used to being so active.

"It's not my muscles," he said, as if he heard my unspoken thoughts. "It's like…my

bones hurt."

"Which ones?" I asked, becoming slightly concerned.

"All of them."

I rolled my eyes. How could all of his bones hurt?

Despite his complaints, Edward got up for the day and stumbled across the beach

- 58 -

before carefully diving into the water, and swimming out to the reef to fish. As I
watched him it became obvious that he was in some pain, though I had no idea what
it could be from, and I definitely didn't want to think about it. If he was sick, then I
had no way of helping him; my chest actually ached from the thought.

He threw his catch at me, and because we were completely in sync with it by then,

I caught it easily. He threw a few more, and I was surprised that he continued to
fish.

"We have plenty, come back now!" I shouted to him.

"No, we need more," he said without looking back at me.

"They're just going to go bad," I reminded him. Neither of us could eat more than

two small fish per sitting and the ones we already had were rather large, so him
catching more was just a waste of time.

He threw two more to me before finally coming back, and I couldn't help my

scornful expression. "Why did you get so many?"

He shrugged sheepishly. "I'm hungry."

"We're always hungry around this time of day….but not this hungry," I argued.

"I'm really hungry," he replied.

"Why would you be so hungry? You've done nothing all day except sleep." All the

concern I had for him over his painful bones vanished. If he was really sick there
was no way he'd be hungry like that. He was probably just being lazy and lied about
the pain.

"I don't know why I'm so hungry, I just am," he said while grabbing his fish and

taking it to the waves to clean them himself.

We sat there together while he devoured all of his fish like there was no

tomorrow, and then he laid back for a minute looking a little dazed from his large
meal. It was rather disturbing.

"You're going to throw up now," I said to him.

He shook his head before sitting back up. "Nope, I'm fine….but I think I'm going to

go lay down in the cave for a nap."

- 59 -

"What?" I asked incredulously. "You ate all that and now you're going back to

bed?"

"What's the big deal? It's not like I have somewhere to be or we've been hanging

out together, so what the hell do you care what I do?"

"You've lost some weight here, but if you keep eating like that and being lazy

you're just going to put it all right back on," I told him harshly.

He glared at me full of hurt from my comment, but strangely his anger clouded

that hurt and I knew in that moment things were about to explode.

"Looks like we're both going back to how we were when we first came here," he

said heatedly.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked confused.

"I'm getting fatter again, and you're back to being a full time bitch."

I could actually feel my blood boil from his comment, and I erupted. "Screw you! I

have every right to be bitter about being stuck here!" I shouted. "It's been weeks,
and there hasn't even been a helicopter flying in the distance or a ship passing. I
don't want to be here forever with you!"

"You think I like being here with you?" he retorted. "I could think of a hundred

different people I'd rather be stranded with."

"Oh, let me guess, would Tanya be at the top of that list?" I screeched like a crazy

jealous person. Was I jealous of his high school crush thousands of miles away? The
thought made me even angrier.

He looked at me confused for a moment, as if he wasn't sure who I was talking

about, but then it seemed to come to him and he got angrier as well. - "Fine, if you
want to go there, then yeah; if I had to be stuck, I'd rather have been stuck with
Tanya! At least she had half a brain and was nice to people."

"Tanya is like…the stupidest, most stuck up person of our entire group," I argued.

"Maybe around you. She was always nice to me….always before that stupid poem

anyway. Maybe she would have continued to be nice to me if her bitch of a best
friend wouldn't have laughed at me so hard until she couldn't help but join in."

- 60 -

"Oh please, she would have laughed regardless of me. Your poem was pathetic,

and so were you!"

"I was pathetic? You were willing to give some brainless jock a blowjob even

though he was rude and disrespectful."

At first I didn't know what he was talking about, but then it came to me….Mike.

He was rude and disrespectful after I had gotten sick on the boat, I just had no idea
how Edward Cullen could possibly know anything about it. It wasn't like he ran in
our social circle to hear the gossip. "Who told you that?"

"I heard you guys up there. I was down in the dingy below, remember? The worst

thing I ever did was untie that stupid dingy to save you after you fell in the water, I
should have just…." He let his sentence trail off.

"Don't stop there - you should have just what? Let me drown?"

"No, I didn't mean that," he said regretfully.

"Whatever, you're absolutely right; you should have just let me drown because

dying would have been better than staying here with you." I said before storming
off. My chest was tight, my stomach was in knots, and every single muscle in my
body was rigid from the confrontation. I needed to flee; I had to get out of his
presence before I broke down crying and said something even worse that I'd forever
regret.

"Wait, where are you going? This is stupid; we're both saying things we don't

mean," he said as he followed me.

"Nope, wrong again; I mean every word I've said," I lied heatedly. It was going

way too far, but I couldn't stop it at that point; I was just too stubborn to give him
the satisfaction of knowing he was right. "This is a big island, there's no reason why
we need to stay together. Let's just agree that if either of us sees a boat, we'll make
sure the other gets rescued too."

"What? Bella, no, we're not separating," he said in a rush. "I'm sorry, ok. Let's just

forget this whole thing like we did when we argued before."

"I want to be left alone!" I shouted at him. "You disgust me. I hate you, I hate this

place, and I just want to be alone for the rest of our time here."

He pressed his lips, and then nodded. "Ok, fine, you can stay in the cave so you'll

- 61 -

be close to the lagoon; I'll go back to the other side of the island."

I was taken aback by his offer, and a flood of thoughts invaded my mind. I needed

to backtrack, I didn't want this. "What are you going to do for water?" I asked softly,
not sure what to say or how to take it all back. I didn't want him to go, but I just
couldn't admit it.

"Don't worry about me, I'll figure it out. If I can't find any other water source, I'll

come back to the lagoon when you're not around. You won't see me, I promise, it'll
be like I never even existed," he said solemnly. He pulled his knife out of his pocket
and proceeded to break it apart, dividing it between us. "Here, you can have the
flint."

"How will you start a fire?" I murmured, in complete shock it was actually

happening.

"I was a boy scout, remember? I'll figure it out."

He took one knife off the bunch and left the rest for me before disappearing into

the trees. And once again, I felt sick as my chest constricted and my stomach tied
itself into knots. I wanted to run after him and laugh it all off like it was just a joke,
but my legs wouldn't move.

What the hell did I just do?

We were just fighting, just like we always did before. It'll blow over and he'll come

back in a few hours, I was sure of it.

But he didn't come back in a few hours. I was alone all night, which really wasn't

bad considering I had been sleeping away from him anyway, but after the third night
passed, I decided it had gone on long enough and I set out to find him.

After trekking for a few hours through the jungle, I found the beach we had first

washed up on, but he was nowhere in sight. For a moment I thought I found the
wrong beach, but then I saw his big SOS written out with rocks on the sand. It was
half covered from the time that passed since he wrote it, but it only proved I was in
the right place.

"EDWARD!" I called to him, but he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere. That side of

the island seemed to be more exposed to the elements, so after a day and a half of
waiting around in the wind and rain hoping he'd turn up, I decided to head back to
the lagoon and my cave home.

- 62 -

What if he had gone swimming and drown? He left the life vest in the cave as a

pillow for me, so it was definitely a possibility. He was getting better and better at
swimming since we had started working on it, but he was still new at it. Maybe he
got caught in an undertow or bit by a shark. Or maybe he walked into a poisonous
plant or eaten by an anaconda. Maybe all his body aches before were signs of some
horrible disease which he succumbed to….There were a thousand possibilities as to
what happened to him, and each was more horrifying then the last.

It was all my fault. How could I have been so horrible to him? He was absolutely

right, I was the worst bitch imaginable and I deserved nothing more than to live
alone on that island for the rest of my life. Maybe nature would have mercy on me
and kill me sooner rather than later. I really didn't want to turn out like Tom Hanks
in the movie 'Cast Away' and be forced to give myself a root canal with an ice skate.
Of course, I didn't have an ice skate, but that was beside the point.

When more days passed than I was able to keep track of, I began to accept the

fact that I'd be spending the rest of my life alone. He wasn't coming back and I
doubted he ever would. I was on my own and it was only a matter of time before I
befriended a volleyball and named it Wilson….I only wished I had one.

God, I missed Edward. Like really missed him, not just missed being with

someone, but him personally. The way he'd laugh at the most ridiculous things, or
how his face would light up when he was passionate about something. I never gave
him enough credit, and I was sure I'd always regret that for however much longer I
had to live.

If help never came, I could have found a way to make life work on the island…but

not alone, not without him. I spent my time sitting on the beach, just staring out into
the horizon. I fished, I drank, I made fire, but all of it was empty and swimming for
fun was a distant memory. There was no fun left. Everything seemed pointless, there
was just nothing.

I didn't know how much time had passed, and there was no way of knowing

whether Edward was dead or hurt somewhere, but finally, out of the blue, he gave
me a sign.

I was walking aimlessly on the beach in an empty daze, when I decided to head

over to the lagoon for a drink. There, sitting on the rocks, was something so
incredible that I seriously thought I was imagining it. It was a giant dried palm leaf
knotted into a basket….which was full of the most beautiful fruit I had ever seen.
Berries, bananas, pineapple, mangos, papayas, and guavas. It was like heaven on
earth, and the best part was knowing Edward was out there somewhere, and he was

- 63 -

ok.

I quickly looked around in the hopes he was still there, but there was no sign of

him. I had no idea where he found the fruit because I certainly hadn't come across
any, but then again I had only seen a small portion of the island - basically the two
opposing beaches and the pathway between them. Obviously Edward had been
exploring, and I couldn't have been more grateful….I only wished he'd show himself
so I could beg him to forgive me and stay.

***Hmmmm, it's been awhile since she's seen him, I wonder how he's

changed ;)

- 64 -

Safe

Chapter 7 – Safe

I hadn't realized how malnourished I was from my all fish diet, until I started

eating the fruit. Fish was a good protein, but there were certain vitamins and sugars
that I supposed my body was lacking, and I felt so much better once I was able to be
more balanced.

Every few days or so, Edward would leave more fruit at the lagoon, but he never

made contact. I tried waiting around for him, but he never showed when I was there
and I could feel my previous anger towards him oddly seep back in. Why was he
being so elusive? I appreciated the fruit, but I'd rather starve than have him sneak in
and leave food like I was unable to fend for myself. I didn't need him to feel guilty
about leaving me; I didn't need anyone for anything. Despite my unhinged emotions
however, I lost the motivation to fish, and my all fish diet morphed into an all fruit
diet, which made me extremely tired all the time but I just couldn't force myself to
care.

I would go back and forth from not caring and being angry, to obsessing about

everything from my family and friends, to school and my future. Were people even
still searching for us, did anyone still care? But more than anything else, I still found
myself thinking about Edward. Whether I was hating him or missing him, he was a
constant on my mind.

I was so confused.

But then it hit me like a lightning bolt and everything became perfectly clear. It

was during a typical rainy night when I was huddled in my cave bed trying to sleep
away the thoughts, when I heard a noise outside the handmade wall. I looked up and
could have sworn I saw a figure outside looking in, but I turned away for a moment
and when I looked back it was gone. I convinced myself that I was just imagining it,
but I was on edge after that and I wished more than ever that Edward would come
back. And then, out of nowhere, I realized why I had been so emotionally
unstable…and it went far beyond the confines of the island.

The truth was, I was angry at myself about more than just my most recent cruel

tantrum towards him.

Edward was truly the nicest, most honestly good person I had ever known, and I

- 65 -

definitely wasn't worthy of being his friend…but I wanted to be, both on and off the
island, and that was the issue. Being Edward's friend meant my entire life back
home would be different. The people I hung out with would shun me for having such
a friend, and before long I'd be just as unpopular as Edward which meant everything
I had loved doing before would stop. No more parties, no more hanging at the mall
and flirting with guys, even cheerleading would end because of my friendliness to
someone deemed 'unworthy' by the popular crowd. It was an extremely shallow
concern, but that was the life of a typical teenage girl, and I knew in that moment
that I wasn't a typical teenage girl anymore and none of it would ever matter to me
again.

Something changed inside of me that started when we first arrived on the island,

but only then did I allow myself to realize it…to accept it. The whole social aspect of
high school was so beyond stupid that I hated myself for ever being a part of it. I
wanted Edward as a friend, in fact, compared to him, I never even had a real friend
before and I was fully prepared to give up all my other so called friends for him
when we returned. Never again would I tease him or allow others to. Edward didn't
deserve it. Even if he never forgave me for my bitchiness, I still refused to let
anyone push him around again. I just really wish he would allow me to tell him how
sorry I was.

But the longer I was alone, the more I worried about my sanity. Just a few days

prior I found myself befriending a little blue hermit crab whom I lovingly named
Bree….sadly I didn't realize until awhile later that it was actually dead. After giving
Bree a sad burial at sea, I moved on to a new group of friends….A lizard named
Leah, a snail named Seth, and a snake - yes a snake I named Sam. At first I was
rather afraid of Sam, but after several minutes of us not bothering each other, we
learned to appreciate the other's company and form a comfortable relationship of
me talking about Edward, and him listening.

But I needed more. I needed to hear Edward's voice again and laugh at his

ridiculous jokes. I wanted to fall asleep next to him at night and wake up in the
uncomfortable comfort of his heavy arm smothering me. I would even take his
morning wood every day for the rest of my life if he would just come back. So I
collected rocks and wrote out a message.

'TALK' – was all I was able to fit in the space where he usually left the fruit….but

the next day there was new fruit, and still no Edward.

"Come on Edward, I made a mistake!" I called out to him, wondering if he was

close enough to hear. "Well, I made a lot of mistakes," I added, mostly to myself.
When he still didn't turn up, I decided that I just couldn't continue to live alone

- 66 -

anymore, and I set out to look for him yet again.

As I trekked through unfamiliar parts of the island jungle, however, I was

beginning to rethink my idea of searching for him. It wasn't that I didn't want him to
come back, because I did more than anything, but it was one of the hottest days yet,
and I worried I'd never be able to find my way back to the lagoon. Though, dying
probably would have been better than being alone anymore, so I guess it was worth
it.

I had no way of bringing water with me on my journey, but I brought Edward's

knife and thankfully there were plenty of water vines along the way. And right when
I was aching from hunger, I saw the bananas. They were absolutely beautiful, but
more than that, it gave me hope I was on the right path towards Edward.

"Edward!" I called out to him, but there was still no answer. "Oh, where are you?"

I whined to myself. The sun was lowering in the sky, and I knew there was no way
I'd be able to get back before dark, so I just kept moving forward. I had to be closer
to Edward's camp than mine.

The lack of protein in my body was starting to have a serious effect on my system;

my feet were throbbing from all the hiking I was doing that day, and I was beginning
to get light headed. But when I glanced down at the ground in front of me, I noticed
a path. It wasn't a perfect, professionally cleared path or anything, but it was
definitely a route that had been taken multiple times so the vegetation was bent
over and crunched into a clear walkway. Edward was close, I could just feel it.

I followed the path around a bend and suddenly there was a break in the trees,

and between them I could see the picturesque view of another beach. The relief I
felt from getting out of the jungle was immeasurable, but then something caught my
eye and without having a chance to fully process what I was seeing, I ducked for
cover.

I had thought Edward and I were the only two people on the island, but I was

clearly mistaken. A man, wearing nothing but a pair of dirty ripped shorts, was
walking along the shore, kicking the water as waves crashed into his shins. A part of
me wanted to run out to him and beg him to help us - perhaps he had a boat, maybe
he was just taking a break from some sailing trip – but something made me nervous
so I stayed hidden and just watched him from afar. He could be a runaway convict
for all I knew.

His hair was a strange reddish-bronze color that hung to his chin, and he was

definitely well toned as the water droplets from the splashing waves sparkled like

- 67 -

diamonds on his skin. If I had been in a normal frame of mind in a normal civilized
place, I probably would have watched him with lust and drooled as he walked by,
but as it was, I just wanted the man to help us and dating of any kind didn't exist in
my world anymore.

But then it happened. The man went over to what looked like a fire pit, and then

he kneeled down and pulled out a pair of glasses. He was holding them in a way so
the sun would shine through the lens in order to spark a fire, but all I cared about,
the only thing that I could think of, was that they were Edward's glasses and he
stole them from him.

The thought of all the school jocks and bullies flashed through my mind – the way

they would push him in the halls, or flick his glasses off, even take things
aggressively out of his hands. He was always powerless against them, and I felt
absolutely sick that the Adonis wannabe had the audacity to take the defenseless
boy's glasses.

Well, I wasn't going to stand for it.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shouted as I stormed onto the beach in a sudden

rush of adrenaline. The man looked up at me bewildered, but I was in such a blind
rage that it was impossible for me to pause. "Where the hell do you get off – taking
those glasses like you had a right."

Edward had been pushed around enough in his life; pushed around by idiots like

me who were undeserving of his company, and I refused to stand by and allow it
ever again.

"What are you -" he asked, but I wouldn't stop to listen to him.

"Where is he? What did you do to him?"At that point, my irrational mind was sure

this man had done something horrible to Edward. Perhaps I was delusional and
dehydrated from my hike and solitude, maybe it had something to do with my
horrible diet, but I was out for blood and I refused to back down.

"Bella, are you sick or something?" he asked, and I could have sworn he almost

sounded concerned.

"Don't change the subject," I snapped. "Where is he?"

"Who?"

- 68 -

"Edward," I said strongly, but then I realized something. "Wait, did you just say

'Bella'?" I asked confused as to what was real and what I was imagining. I was
definitely losing it; perhaps I was dreaming or had a high fever that was causing me
to hallucinate, but suddenly Adonis kind of looked like Edward….well, Edward's
older brother in much better shape.

"Ok, you know what, sit down and I'll get you some water," he said while leading

me to a rock to rest. He was gone for a few moments, but then he was back in a
flash with a cup of some kind. "Take small sips, I think you're dehydrated."

"No…I had water vine thingies," I argued feebly.

"It's over 100 degrees out today; you need more than just water vines."

"Wha…what am I drinking?" I asked confused as he pushed the cup back to my

lips.

"Water," he said simply.

"Yeah….but how?"

"I just rolled this leaf into a tight cone and dipped it into the lagoon."

The lagoon? There must have been more than one, because there was no way he

could get there and back so quickly. "Where's Edward?" I asked, feeling like my
brain was going to explode from the pressure of my headache.

"You're not making sense," he said worriedly. "Just keep drinking until your mind

clears."

"No…you need to tell me where he is, before…." My sentence trailed off as my

vision blurred. I could vaguely feel myself falling backwards, but despite the rocky
terrain, I didn't land hard. Did he catch me from falling?

I woke up some time later to the calming sound of waves crashing and some sort

of lullaby being hummed softly. It was absolutely beautiful but somewhat
disorienting, and before I had a chance to really process my surroundings, the
humming stopped.

"You're awake? How are you feeling?" his voice said gently.

My eyes wheeled until I saw his face, and even though my vision was still slightly

- 69 -

hazy, I could think clearly enough to understand what had happened. He had
changed during our time apart, but it was definitely him and I was absolutely
ridiculous for not realizing it right away.

"Edward," I mumbled as I tried to sit up. He rushed to my side and helped me up,

but didn't let go until he was sure I was sturdy. "You're you…I mean, you're here."

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were sick, I should have talked to you

sooner."

"I'm not sick," I agued weakly. "I just….walked a really long way and it made me

delirious."

"A long way?" he said confused. "Bella, your beach is just right over on the other

side of that cliff."

"What cliff?" I asked, taken aback by his comment.

"Right there," he said, pointing behind me so I turned and looked over my

shoulder, and sure enough there was a large cliff that hugged the shoreline….and it
looked to be the same cliff that I had always noticed at the end of my beach, just the
opposite side.

Was he really that close all along?

"But I walked all day to get here," I said in disbelief.

"You must have walked in a huge U. Were you navigating with the little compass

on the Swiss Army knife I left you?"

I scrunched my face. "I didn't know there was one."

"Bella, I'm really sorry, if I knew you had no idea I was here, I would have made

sure to tell you. I honestly thought you just didn't want me around and that was why
you never came to talk to me."

"I left you a note," I argued lightly.

"A note?" he asked confused.

"Well, I spelled out 'Talk' with rocks where you usually left the fruit," I explained.

- 70 -

He scratched his head. "There were some scattered rocks there once….but they

didn't spell anything out."

I huffed. "Sam must have messed them up."

"Sam? Who's Sam?"

"My snake…just, never mind," I said dismissively.

"You shouldn't mess with snakes, they can be poisonous," he informed me. He

went on to describe the different ways to spot a poisonous snake which was
strangely charming, but I wasn't really paying attention. He was there, and I'd make
sure we never separated again. "Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked
unexpectedly.

"I just really missed you," I told him. "And I'm so sorry for being such a bitch

before."

He shrugged. "I get it…This would be hard for anyone."

He stood and walked over to his fire where he flipped the fish that I didn't even

notice were roasting there. They smelled so good that my stomach twisted into
desperate knots, and ached like I hadn't eaten in years. But I wasn't about to ask for
some, not after everything I had done to him – I didn't deserve his help.

"You seem to have adapted quite nicely," I said while watching him in awe. Gone

was the short chubby boy I had known, and in his place was this man with a
perfectly tone physique who looked to have grown several inches in our time apart.
But his looks weren't important; it didn't matter if he was the fattest man on earth or
had the looks of a super model, as long as he was willing to stay with me, I was
beyond ecstatic.

He smiled slyly. "I just choose to look at it as an extended camping trip. I was

never really allowed to camp so I would live through books and whatnot…..But here,
it's like living how I've only read about….what I was only ever able to fantasize
about before. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but I think being away from her is
actually turning out to be a good thing. I'm not happy about being stranded, but I'm
grateful for the freedom."

I nodded, understanding completely what he was saying. "I know what you mean.

I think being here…and being alone for awhile, gave me time to really consider
what's important in life."

- 71 -

"That's cool," he responded, and just like that, it seemed we were past our fight.

Edward wasn't the type to dwell on his anger or hold grudges. He was
compassionate and forgiving, and I was so incredibly grateful.

"So, why did you decide to stay here instead of the other side of the island like you

said you were going to do?" I asked.

"Oh, well I went there, but it was just too exposed to the elements to stay, so I

came here. Besides, if you were to get hurt or something, I thought it would be best
to stay close by."

"You're here to keep an eye on me?" I asked shocked. If I was still my normal

bitchy self I might have been offended by his thought that I couldn't take care of
myself, but now I was just appreciative because the truth was that I couldn't. "But I
called you a few times and you never answered."

"I never heard you calling, every time I checked on you, you looked fine….But it's

not like I've been sitting here doing nothing. I've been hiking all around the island,
so I may not have been here when you called. This is actually a really cool place. The
ecosystem is amazing."

"Your hair is a different color," I commented, unable to get his transformation

completely out of my mind. I wondered if I would have noticed it as much if we
never separated. As it was, his changes were very drastic, though not to the point
where I shouldn't have been able to recognize him. I must have just been too out of
it to realize who he was right away.

"Oh, well…maybe the sun lightened it," he said while pulling his hair down his

forehead in order to see what I was talking about.

"You've lost a lot of weight," I added absently.

He looked down at his muscular bare torso. "Yeah, well you were right about

being active, I feel so much better than I used to. More energy and such….I'd still
like some pizza right about now, though."

That made me smile widely. "And chili cheese fries."

He chuckled lightly. "Too bad all we have is fish," he said before putting the hot

fish on a leaf and handing it to me.

"No, that's yours…I'll fish for myself in the morning."

- 72 -

"Don't be ridiculous, you just passed out a little bit ago. There is no way you're

going into the ocean until you've gotten your strength back," he said sternly. I was
surprised by his tone; it was strong and almost domineering a way that I never
expected from him. I always hated controlling guys, and every time I encountered
one in the past I'd cut ties with them right away, but there was something strangely
alluring about it coming from Edward. It made my heart race, and I found myself
wanting nothing more than to do whatever he told me. It made me feel….safe.

So I took the fish.

"Thanks," I said softly, suddenly feeling shy.

Along with the fish, Edward also had fruit and some kind of green leafy thing that

he said was full of vitamins. We ate together and exchanged stories of our time
apart, and I could feel my strength returning quickly - though I wasn't sure if it was
physical, or if I was just feeling so much better from being with him again.

"So, do you want me to walk you back to your cave, or do you want to stay here for

the night?" he asked as the last colors from the sky were fading to black.

"Here," I said, without even taking a moment to think about it.

"Ok," he said casually. He laid back, and even though I wasn't tired, I followed his

lead and laid back as well.

"Do you have any more scary stories?" I asked after a minute of comfortable

silence. I had been alone for what seemed like a really long time, so really I just
wanted to keep hearing his voice.

"I've got all kinds of stupid scary stories," he said, and I could hear the smile in his

voice.

"Tell me?" I asked.

Edward began telling some kind of odd vampire story, but I couldn't hear him well

enough so I scooted closer which made him pause. "What are you doing?" he asked
after a minute.

"Nothing, I just can't hear over the waves and crackling fire," I explained, even

though that was only a small part of the truth. I just wanted to be closer to him, to
touch him and make sure he was really there. My mind had been playing a lot of
tricks on me lately, and I wouldn't have been surprised one bit if I was actually

- 73 -

imaging the entire thing and was really talking to a coconut.

He seemed strangely uncomfortable about our close proximity, but he continued

his story anyway. After it concluded, I pretended to be sleeping in the hopes he'd fall
asleep as well. And when I was sure he was safely unconscious, I scooted even
closer to him – close enough to feel his breath on my face and the heat from his skin.
I needed that contact, it was something that was as important as water, and I
wondered if I'd be able to lift his arm over me without waking him so we could be
even closer. But I didn't attempt it. He just looked so peaceful lying there in the
glow of the fire, and I just wanted to watch him for awhile without disturbing him.

I never felt myself fall asleep, but the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes to

a new day….and Edward's heavy hot arm draped over my shoulders. Did I move him
after all without realizing it, or did he put his arm there on his own? I couldn't be
sure, but I wasn't about to ask him either.

I got a little too comfortable and snuggled closer to him, burying my face into his

chest so I could inhale the sweet scent of his skin, but that move made him stir
before finally waking him.

"What are you doing?" he asked groggily.

Good question; what was I doing?

"I was cold," I lied, having no idea what else to say.

"Okay," he said awkwardly before scooting away and getting up to stretch. "I'm

going to go catch some breakfast."

He quickly picked up his spear, which I was grateful to see – he had left the other

one with me, so I was glad he was able to make another – and then he headed out to
the nearby reef.

"Can I go with you?" I asked while following him. I wasn't ready to be alone again,

even if it was just while he fished.

"Are you feeling up to it?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I feel great."

"Alright," he said unsure.

- 74 -

We didn't discuss if we'd be staying together after that, but I didn't think we had

to either. It was obvious that I wasn't going to let him get away again; I only hoped
my newfound separation anxiety didn't annoy him too badly and cause him to resent
me. He was use to his 'freedom' as he put it, and I really didn't want to change that,
so I promised myself I'd go along with whatever he wanted to do from then on out. I
owed him that.

But like with all my other unfulfilled self-promises, I soon realized that going

along with whatever he wanted was an extremely hard thing to do…

- 75 -

Wants

Chapter 8 – Wants

Edward and I quickly settled into a comfortable routine which was much like the

way we were before separating, except everything had changed. How could
something be the same and yet feel so new and different at the same time? It didn't
make sense, but it felt so entirely right that I decided not to worry about the
significance of it all and just try to enjoy our time together.

And enjoy our time, we did.

"Bella, wake up," Edward said excitedly one early morning while shaking me

gently. It had been a few days since reuniting and we were still sleeping on his
beach, although he had commented on the idea of us both moving back to the cave
eventually – he was worried about the weather changing.

"What's wrong?" I asked groggily. Dawn was barely starting to break over the

island, which meant he was waking us up just a tad bit early. Obviously, we had no
electricity so we basically rose with the sun and went to bed when it became too
dark to see. But he was clearly excited about something, which made me excited as
well. "What's going on?"

"You have to come see this," he said before grabbing my hand and helping me up.

I had no idea where he was taking me, but the fact that he didn't release my hand as
we went commanded all my attention.

We were holding hands….which was odd and amazing at the same time. Our

connection made my stomach flutter and sent electric waves running up and down
my arm. I wasn't sure how I honestly felt about our sudden physical closeness, but
when he finally did let go, my hand tingled and felt sadly empty.

"Look," he said quietly, knocking me out of the daze that remained from his touch.

My eyes followed the direction he pointed in, and there, hidden in the sand, was a

nest of newly hatched sea turtles.

"Oh my god," I said a little too loudly, and then covered my big stupid mouth with

my hands.

- 76 -

He chuckled. "Don't worry, you're fine," he assured me. "Aren't they awesome? I

found the eggs a few days ago and they must have just hatched."

"They're so beautiful," I said sincerely. "But where's their mother?"

"Turtles just lay their eggs then goes back to sea."

"When will she come back?" I asked worriedly.

"She won't. Her job is done, now they're on their own."

"That's horrible!" I said disturbed. "They're so….defenseless."

He shrugged. "That's nature. Come on, let's leave them alone."

"We can't just leave them to fend for themselves," I argued. "We have to help

them."

"Bella, only one in a thousand will survive, that's just the facts of life."

"One in a thousand? That's ridiculous! Well, our turtles are going to survive," I

said determinedly. "How do we make it happen?"

"We can't guarantee they'll live…."

"But?" I prompted because he had paused.

"But, we can make sure they make it to the water. The beach holds dozens of

dangers; predators like crabs and birds are just waiting for an easy meal like them.
Once they get to the water they'll have all new concerns…but if we can get them
there, that's half the battle."

I nodded. "So, we'll get them there."

We spent the next two days keeping guard of the little turtles, and even camped

around their nest to make sure they weren't killed while we slept. And when they
made their monumental trek to the ocean, we made sure each one lived long enough
to reach the water.

"Man down, man down!" I shouted when I saw that one of the turtles had

accidently flipped over on its back. It was dark out, but luckily the moon that
evening was so bright that our eyes could easily see their movements.

- 77 -

Edward grabbed it and flipped it over, but then the thing got stuck behind a stick

so Edward decided to just pick it up and carry it to the water, and I couldn't help but
smile at him. "Technically, we're screwing with nature here," he said sheepishly.
"They're not all supposed to survive the beach."

"Yeah, well we're not supposed to be stranded here either, and since we are, these

turtles are going to benefit from it," I replied.

He returned my smile with a huge grin of his own. "Well, I guess the entire

ocean's ecosystem isn't going to implode from a few extra surviving turtles. They're
sure lucky you're here."

"Why? You wouldn't have helped them like this without me?"

He shook his head. "Humans aren't supposed to intervene."

"So why are you going along with it then?" I asked quietly, feeling shy again.

"Because it was important to you," he said simply, and I couldn't help the sudden

rush of heat that devoured my face – it was a good thing it was dark out, because I
really didn't want him to see me blush.

"They did it!" I cheered when the last baby turtle shuffled itself into the waves. It

was more than a gratifying experience, it was downright magical which brought
tears to my eyes. I was so overwhelmed by the moment that I reached for Edward
and hugged him tightly. He returned the embrace, sending electric pulses through
every inch of my body, and neither one of us pulled away; we just stood there and
watched the moon dancing on the water with our arms wrapped around the other.
Our success with the turtles combined with our new closeness was an amazing high
that I couldn't properly explain. I never felt anything like it, and wondered if I ever
would again once we were finally rescued.

After an hour or so passed, we decided we'd better get to bed for the night, except

we had no way to start a fire. Usually we'd use the sun and his glasses to spark it,
but Edward said the fire could confuse the turtles so we never lit it. We could have
used the flint, except I left it back at the cave which was too far in the dark to get to,
so we just laid out under the stars and let the excitement of the evening course
through us until we were able to relax.

"That was so…thrilling," I said, unable to turn my brain off long enough to sleep.

Edward was lying on his back, but he rolled over on his side in order to see me

- 78 -

properly to respond. "See why I wanted to be a marine biologist? It's all so
fascinating."

"Yeah, I really do see it now…. Tell me something else," I asked eagerly. I had

always thought marine biology was pointless and boring, but seeing it all firsthand
was remarkable and so much more….real than anything else I had ever experienced
before.

Edward went on to explain different aspects of marine biology, some of which I

vaguely remembered reading about in class, but none of it had been able to stick in
my mind until hearing it in Edward's words. He then turned the lesson into a
fascinating lecture about the plant and animal life on our particular island, and I
knew I would never forget a word of it.

"So there could be some endangered animals on this island as well?" I asked him.

"Sure."

"Like the endangered….Cullen Swan?" I joked.

He laughed. "Yeah, that type of bird is really rare."

"I bet their numbers have really decreased in recent months," I added.

"I think they're down to the last two now."

We laughed for another moment, but after thinking about it, we both realized it

wasn't funny. We really were endangered on that island and I wondered how long
we could survive there. I missed my mom and friends, but most of all, I missed my
dad. I was always a daddy's girl growing up but we had hit a rough patch the year
prior after he caught me and my friends with pot and forced us to spend the night in
a juvenile detention facility. I hated him for months and things never really got back
to the way they were, but in that moment, I missed him like crazy and wished he was
there to tell me everything was going to be ok.

"Edward?" I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Yeah?" he asked softly.

"Will you hold me for a little while?" At any other moment I would have been

mortified to ask such a thing, but right then I just needed to be close to someone.

- 79 -

He didn't respond verbally, he simply scooted closer and draped his arm around

me while I cried soundlessly. I had been so empty during my weeks alone that it
wasn't until then that all my fears had really hit me.

What if we were never found?

The island had become a better place in the recent days since reuniting with

Edward, but the thought of never telling my dad how sorry I was, or how much I
loved him was just too much to handle and I began sobbing. Thankfully, I wasn't
alone. Edward held me tightly and rubbed my back until I eventually cried myself to
sleep.

After such a heavy emotionally charged night, I woke the next morning feeling so

much lighter and almost carefree in a way, which was apparent in our newfound
corporal closeness. We spent that entire day in the sun playing childish games like
Rock-Paper-Scissors and building sandcastles, all the while always holding hands or
sitting so close that I was practically in his lap.

Was I only imagining our new physical bond? I just didn't understand why he

never commented on it. Perhaps it meant something different to him, although I
wasn't exactly sure what it meant to me at that point.

"This is my room," Edward said while poking a hole for a window in the main part

of the sandcastle – rubbing his elbow on mine as he did so.

I moved my legs so they were lying across his lap, which he didn't seem to mind

whatsoever. "Well, what about me?" I asked while gesturing towards his castle
room.

"Here," he said while leaning over me so he could poke a hole in the neighboring

tower. "This will be your room."

"No way, I've been alone long enough, I'm rooming with you," I said assuredly.

"I told you already, you'll have to be a lot more handy if you're going to be my

wife," he joked….at least, he sounded like he was joking. Was it really an invitation
of some sort? Was he feeling me out to see if I'd be open to more? Would I be open
to more? The idea made my heart race.

"Well, I can't be handy from that far away, now can I?" I replied suggestively.

"True….but don't complain when all my wenches come in to take their turn," he

- 80 -

shot back with his same playful tone. Perhaps it was all just a joke to him.

But I decided to push him a little further -"Hey now, I never said I'd be willing to

share. If you're going to be the king of my castle you're going to have to be
monogamous."

"It's not up to you. You're just a mere woman, you don't make the decisions."

"Oh really?" I said with faux offense.

"Yep, and if you have a problem with that, you can move your stuff out to the

tower."

Ok, he was definitely just messing around, so I tried to get back into the game of

it, and forget about all the other stuff.

"I think you should move to the tower," I said, and then I moved off of him before

grabbing a handful of sand from the so called tower, and dumping it on his head.

He sat there stunned for a moment while the sand slowly fell from his hair, and

then he looked up at me with a sinister expression. "Oh, you are dead," he said
coldly, but I wasn't the slightest intimidated. I laughed challengingly, and then took
off running down the shore….and of course he chased me.

I really thought I had enough of a lead to keep away from him, but the next thing I

knew he was right behind me which made me scream out in surprise.

God, he sure as hell got fast.

He grabbed a hold of me and begun tickling my sides making my knees buckle,

but I wasn't going down without a fight so I pulled him down with me. We fell onto
the sand right as a wave crashed over us causing me to get a mouth full of water,
but it only made him hold onto me tightly until the water receded – which was more
than fine by me.

"Are you ok?" he asked while helping me up.

"Yeah," I said with a smile, though I would have preferred it of he held onto me a

little longer. I pulled my wet shirt over my head, and laid it on a rock to dry. I
usually swam in my bra so it wasn't something new for Edward, but when he saw me
that day I could have sworn he did a double take before letting his eyes linger a
moment longer than usual. Did that mean we should be expecting his morning wood

- 81 -

the next day? The thought made my stomach flutter.

"So…where's your shirt?" I asked. Since we had been back together, I had yet to

see him with his shirt, which I wasn't complaining about, I was just curious.

"Uh….I'm not sure actually. I took it off somewhere and have no idea where."

"Oh…well, I guess you don't really need it or anything," I said while watching a

droplet of water rolling down his collarbone towards his perfectly sculpted chest and
then follow the indents of his abdominal muscles before disappearing into the
waistband of his shorts.

"How do your shorts still fit?" I asked without thinking. The band seemed to be

resting perfectly on his hips which was mesmerizing and confusing at the same time.
He had lost a lot of weight, so how could they possibly still fit?

He shrugged. "I always wore them under my gut, so…" he let his sentence trail off

since he really didn't have an answer.

We sat shoulder to shoulder on the rocks and munched on some fruit, but I found

myself still unable to keep my mouth shut. "Whatever happened to your retainer?" I
asked after thinking about the way he used to be.

He looked at me questionably. "What's with the third degree?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "Got something better to talk about?"

"Yeah, I can probably think of something," he said with a laugh. He thought about

it for a moment, and then sighed. "I left my retainer in my cabin on the boat. Why,
are my teeth getting crooked?"

"Here, let me see," I said before grabbing his face by the jaw and sticking my

index finger in his mouth to trace his top teeth.

He growled at me then jerked his head so that he could bite my extended finger -

and he bit it hard.

"Ouch!" I screamed. "What was that for?"

"Me?" he said with a laugh. "Whatever happened to personal space and

boundaries?"

- 82 -

Thank god he mentioned that; I was starting to think he was oblivious.

"I think you gave up your rights to personal space when you threw me into the

ocean."

"I didn't throw you into the ocean. It's not my fault you can't keep your balance."

"It is your fault; you started it by saying you'd cheat on me," I argued teasingly.

"You're right, I apologize. But there's going to be a lot of wenches disappointed in

my monogamy."

I tried to think of a witty comeback, but suddenly I noticed the shape of his lips.

They were absolutely perfect, like the kind of lips that belonged on a GQ model, and
I wondered why I never noticed them before.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" I asked, shocking both of us. How the hell did I

allow that thought to escape?

He got uncomfortable and shifted his weight away from me. "Like…other than my

mom and my great aunt Maggie?"

"Like, really kissed someone….In a romantic way," I clarified.

His discomfort doubled. "No. I've never been the type of guy that girls wanted to

kiss. Why?"

Because I want to kiss you – Whoa, I really didn't expect that thought. "Are you

worried that we may never leave here and you won't get a chance?"

He was still for a moment, then he shook his head slowly. "I guess I haven't really

thought about it."

"I'm a virgin," I blurted out - I really needed therapy.

He looked at me surprised. "I thought you were with that Jacob guy?"

"Yeah, but we never…." I said while rolling my hand suggestively, not wanting to

say the actual word.

"What about Mike?"

- 83 -

I shook my head no.

He didn't seem to know how to respond to that. We were silent and that old

tension between us came back full force, except this time it was buzzing.

Suddenly he sighed. "I guess I was right before," he said quietly. "You just need to

be more handy."

And with that, the tension was gone and we both busted out laughing. We laughed

so hard that I clung onto him for support, but that move made me become far too
aware of the way our scantily clad bodies were pushed against each other. I lost all
control and logic and found myself pressing my lips to his…which resulted in him
freezing. It felt like kissing a statue, so I slowly pulled back and turned away out of
sheer embarrassment.

He didn't want me to kiss him - that much was obvious. "Sorry," I mumbled…and

then I started rambling. "I just thought it would be good to, you know, kiss you….just
in case we never leave, you won't have to say you've never kissed anyone. Because
everyone should know what it's like to kiss someone. People always worry about
their first kiss, and once they do it they realize it's really not that big of a deal. So I
just wanted to…."

Without warning, he shut me up by planting his lips to mine in one of the most

surrealistic moments of my life. Edward Cullen just kissed me. He pulled away for a
second, and then our mouths crashed back together and we were kissing like our
lives depended on it…and it was absolutely amazing. If I didn't already know that it
was his first kiss then I wouldn't have been able to tell, because he seemed to know
exactly what he was doing.

His tongue traced my lower lip seeking an entrance into my mouth, which I

eagerly allowed and greeted with mine. The fire burning between us was so hot that
I honestly wondered how we weren't combusting, but I wanted more.

Careful not to break my mouth from his, I pulled him down on top of me,

practically begging with my body for him to move closer, to kiss me even harder
-which he definitely did. His hand traced up my leg and continued over my shorts
and right up my bare abdomen. God, I wanted him so badly. I wanted him more than
I ever wanted anything or anyone, and nothing else mattered.

But when his hand reached the bottom of my bra he paused. I assumed he was

waiting for permission to touch me there so I arched my chest towards him as an
invitation….except he didn't.

- 84 -

Instead, he pulled away completely before quickly standing and looking out over

the water.

"What's wrong?" I asked, seriously hoping he was just trying to think of a better

place for us to resume.

"The tide's coming in," he replied evenly.

"We can just move further up the beach….or we can go back to the cave," I said

while standing and grabbing his hand.

But when he pulled his hand out of mine, I knew he had no plans on picking up

where we left off.

"You know, it's getting late, I better go fish before it starts to get dark. Can you

build the fire?"

"Sure," I said, feeling way too bewildered to say anything else.

What the hell happened?

Were we moving too fast? Did he get a hard on and worry how I'd react? Maybe

he really did just want to fish and then we'd continue afterwards – but what if he
didn't? What if he didn't want me at all and had just gotten lost in the moment? I had
promised myself that I would go along with whatever he wanted from then on, but
what was I supposed to do with all my desires for him if he truly wanted to keep our
relationship platonic?

Once again, I was so confused.

- 85 -

Poison

A/N: A word to the wise, take a deep breath before reading this chapter ;)

Chapter 9 – Poison

Edward didn't want to be with me.

I could accept that, I had to accept that.

There really wasn't a choice in the matter since it took two to be in a relationship

and he obviously had no intention of kissing me again. He went on with our normal
routine as if nothing happened, and even though it was hard for me to do, I went
along with it. I made a promise to myself, and for once I had to keep it. Besides, the
only other option was to get upset and storm off alone again, and I definitely wasn't
willing to do that.

The problem was, it was extremely difficult to ignore my feelings for him. I wasn't

exactly sure the extent of my emotions but I did know that it went far beyond purely
physical, so I supposed it would have to be enough to just be near him as a friend
opposed to not being with him at all.

We never spoke about it, which I was surprisingly grateful for. I didn't think I

could handle him telling me out loud the real reason why he didn't care for me in
that way, although I was afraid I already knew. He was still in love with Tanya – he
had to be, because I knew for a fact it had nothing to do with the horrible way I
treated him before. Edward didn't hold grudges; he wasn't like that, so the only
thing that really made sense was that he was still expecting to get rescued and then
he planned to pursue Tanya once again.

The thought made my heart clinch.

If we did get rescued, I wasn't sure I could stand the sight of seeing them

together, and of course she would go for him now that he was sexy as hell – she was
even shallower than I was. But she would never truly understand him the way I did.
She'd never appreciate his quirky habits or his charming awkwardness. She'd
probably screw around with him and then talk crap behind his back afterwards. She
was going to trample on his heart and kill everything inside him that truly makes
him amazing until there's nothing left except an empty shell. It was only a matter of

- 86 -

time until she broke him down and turned him into another brainless moron like all
the other guys she usually dated. I was sure of it, and I was getting pissed just
thinking about it.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked me suddenly.

"Nothing, why?" I asked, completely forgetting what we had been talking about.

"You just look….upset."

I forced out a smile and shook my head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course." – Of course I was upset. My heart ached every time he looked at

me indifferently, but I was too much of a coward to tell him that. We couldn't have
another big blowout; I needed him too much for that and it was a need that far
exceeded basic surviving. My soul needed him in my life – he was the best part of
me, and without him I was no better than Tanya. I couldn't go back to that.

"Ok, well I'll be back in a little while," he said before running off into the waves to

go fish.

I tried to busy myself with anything other than watching him fish out on the reef,

because watching him dripping wet with a spear gave me a physical reaction which I
was trying so desperately hard to ignore. But when he came back less than ten
minutes later, he made it absolutely impossible to ignore him.

"What the hell is that?" I asked disgusted.

"It's an eel," he said enthusiastically as he held the nasty creature up like it was

some prize catch.

"That's nice," I said sarcastically, but I couldn't entirely hold back a slight smile.

His zest for life was completely contagious…but that thing was still hideous. "Now
get rid of it."

"No way, eels are great eating. I can't believe I actually caught one."

"Eating? You have got to be kidding me."

"You're willing to eat worms, but not eel?" he asked incredulously.

- 87 -

"I ate worms out of desperation. But now that we have fish and fruit, I'm no longer

starving."

"Oh come on," he said with his irresistible crooked smile. "We could really use a

little more variety."

How could I say no to him when he looked at me like that? - "Okay," I said

uneasily.

"We just need to make sure to drain all the blood out…. 'cause eel blood is

poisonous," he said casually.

I blanched.

He laughed at my stunned expression. "Don't worry about it, I'll handle it."

"Edward, we really shouldn't be messing with poisonous things; we have no way to

get help if we screw up."

"I promise you, it'll be fine, I know what I'm doing. Besides, I've had eel before in

Japanese restaurants and it's really good. You're going to love it. Do you trust me?"

I sighed. "Yes, I trust you."

"You shouldn't," he said in an unexpectedly serious tone.

"Huh?"

"Bella, I'm joking."

"Oh…yeah, I know," I said with a forced laugh.

He cleaned the eel and told me we could eat it raw, but of course I opted for it

being cooked, and he was right, it was actually pretty good. But then again, he
seemed to be right about most things so you would think I would stop doubting him.

"Hey, do you want to have a race?" Edward asked after we ate.

I shook my head no.

"Do you want to build another sandcastle?"

- 88 -

"Not really."

"So, what do you want to do?" he asked frustrated.

I shrugged. I didn't really feel like doing anything because I couldn't get my mind

off the fact that once we got rescued he'd ditch me for Tanya's scheming ways. It
may have been immature of me, but I was upset about even the possibility of it, and
I couldn't shake the feeling. I couldn't let her hurt him like that, but how was I
supposed to prevent it? If he truly wanted to be with her, then was it wrong for me
to stand in their way? Perhaps she could develop real feelings for him if she gave
him a chance – I know I did.

I pictured the two of them holding hands and making out; I thought of him kissing

her the way he had kissed me….and it literally made me sick.

"I think I'm going to go to the cave to rest for awhile," I told the very adorably

bored looking Edward.

"Ok, are you alright?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, I just have a headache."

"Well, I think I'm going to go for a hike. Will you be ok alone for a few hours?"

I nodded. "I was alone for weeks, I think I can handle a few hours," I said with a

half smile.

We went our separate ways for the afternoon, but I couldn't sleep so I decided to

head back to the beach to collect more shells and try to clear my mind.

I had to get over my current feelings for him. He had quickly become the most

important person in the world to me and I couldn't see that changing even after we
were back in civilization, so I couldn't continue to let my pain and confusion come
between us. If he chose to be with Tanya when we got back, I had to keep being his
friend and supporting him. He'd need me to lean on once she shredded his heart into
pieces, and I had to make sure I was always there for him the way he's always been
there for me on the island….

But if we were never rescued, I would never have to worry about it. If we stayed

on the island forever, Tanya couldn't get her slimy bitchy hands on him and ruin his
spirit.

- 89 -

Like some otherworldly premonition, that was the moment that would affect the

rest of our lives. I glanced out towards the ocean, and there, on the horizon, was a
boat. It looked to be a large shipping vessel, and if I hurried to light our fire and
build it up so it burned high, they could possibly see it and come to our rescue.

But I didn't move.

I tried to convince myself to run down the beach and light the fire. I told myself

that my parents were waiting for me at home and I should jump around and scream
out to the shipping crew….but I was absolutely frozen.

What the hell is the matter with you? MOVE! – I screamed at myself internally.

But nothing worked. For whatever reason, I just couldn't do it and the mere thought
of leaving was giving me a panic attack.

As the ship passed by, and the tail end of it was getting smaller in the distance,

Edward came charging onto the beach.

"A BOAT!" he yelled. "Bella, there's a boat!" he called out as he ran passed me. He

frantically tried to light the fire, but it was too late. By the time the fire was lit the
boat was too far away to see it, so Edward got upset and threw his glasses across
the sand.

After a few minutes he took a deep breath and then sighed before getting up and

turning towards me. "Why didn't you start the fire sooner? Didn't you see the boat?"

But I didn't answer him. I couldn't even speak at that point because I was in such

shock from what I just did…or rather didn't do.

What the hell was I thinking?

"Bella? What just happened?"

I have no idea – I thought to myself; but he needed an answer, so I lied. "I didn't

see it until it was too late."

"DAMN IT!" he shouted unexpectedly, making me jump. "Sorry, I'm not mad at

you, I'm just so…. frustrated. This is all my fault; I should have never left on that
stupid hike."

There was no way I was going to just sit there and let him feel guilty about

something I did, so I took a deep breath and confessed. "I saw the boat when it was

- 90 -

there," I said, pointing to the part of the ocean I first saw it in – the part where they
definitely should have been able to see the fire.

Edward scratched his head. "Were you hurt….or sick and couldn't get to the fire

pit?"

"No…I'm fine. I don't know why I didn't light it," I said honestly.

"Bella that was our chance to go home. What if another ship doesn't come?" he

asked, struggling to contain his anger.

"I guess we're just going to have to make life work here," I said quietly.

"What?" he asked stunned. "You purposely didn't light it? What the hell, Bella?

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? I know you don't like being here so why
in world would you choose to ignore the ship?" He was absolutely fuming then,
which was something I had never seen from him before - at least not to that degree.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely – and I really was sorry. My insanity was

overwhelming me, and I was so incredibly regretful that Edward was stuck there
with me and I had forced that upon him by not allowing us to get rescued. I knew it
was wrong, but I was completely and uncontrollably fucked up.

"Gah, I can't believe this!" he yelled, and then stormed off towards the jungle. He

was livid, and he had every right to be.

I left him alone for the rest of the day so he could calm down, but by that evening

he seemed to be over it already…at least that was what he said. "There's no point in
staying upset. It's not going to bring the boat back," he told me. "We just have to
hope that another one comes."

A tear dripped down my face, though I wasn't exactly sure why, but I quickly

wiped it away so he couldn't see it.

Edward didn't hold grudges, except he wasn't the same after that so perhaps he

unconsciously held grudges after all. He didn't joke around, he didn't want to play
any games, and he hardly left the beach out of fear he'd miss another ship.

Did I poison his spirit? - The thought made me hate myself even more than I

already did. I had been so worried about Tanya screwing with him that I screwed
the both of us instead, and it was something so much worse than stupid high school
relationships. What if there was never another boat? What if I ruined our only

- 91 -

chance? The more I thought about it, the surer I became that the boat was the first
and last that we would ever see. I was suddenly certain that I got what I had
momentarily hoped for….to spend the rest of my life on that stupid island, and I
wouldn't blame Edward one bit if he never forgave me.

But I couldn't take it back; I couldn't turn back the clock and light that fire no

matter how much I wished I could….and I couldn't help being happy to have more
alone time with Edward, even if he was still angry at me. I had the rest of our lives
to make it up to him.

Thankfully, it rained most of that week, so Edward grudgingly slept with me in the

cave at night. Despite his apparent resentment, we woke up each morning
completely wrapped up together. His arms surrounding me and his legs twisted with
mine – it was the best part of my day. There was nothing better than sleeping
against his bare torso, and I began to wonder how I'd ever sleep without him again
once the evening rain finally stopped.

"Don't go," I mumbled one morning when he got up earlier than normal to head to

the beach. "Lay here with me a little longer."

"There may be a boat," he said emotionlessly. "That was a cargo ship so it was

probably taking a designated route, and if so that means there will be more."

"But we can't just sit around waiting for a boat all day every day. What if another

one doesn't come for months?"I asked him gently. I was still convinced a boat would
never come again, but I just went along with his denial to avoid dampening his mood
even more than it already was.

"We can't risk it. There may have been more boats and we just didn't know it."

"Well in that case then more will come. If we miss one, we'll get the next," I

argued lightly.

"Bella, what's going on with you? Seriously. You've been acting weird now for a

while and then you decide to just not light a signal fire and don't even have an
explanation as to why. That's not….normal."

For whatever reason, his comment made me angry. Did he really not know what

was going on with me? Really? I found that hard to believe.

"No, what's not normal is kissing someone passionately and then pulling away

with no explanation, and then go on to pretend it never happened!" I said heatedly. I

- 92 -

never planned on saying anything about that, but I couldn't help it. My brain to
mouth filter was long gone at that point.

He stared at me for a moment, and then he exploded. "That's what this is about?

You didn't light a signal fire because you were pissed that I kissed you? How the hell
does that even make sense?"

"I wasn't pissed that you kissed me," I shouted back. "I was pissed that you

stopped!"

"You said you only wanted to kiss me so I didn't have to worry about my first kiss,

or some crap like that," he retorted.

"Well, I lied. I wanted to kiss you because I wanted to kiss you," I said, though I

wasn't sure how much sense I made. "I want to be with you…more than friends," I
told him, letting my voice get quieter as I became increasingly horrified by my
admission.

His voice became softer as well. "Bella, we can't go there," he said unexpectedly.

"Why?" I asked so quietly it was only a whisper.

"We just can't. We need to focus on surviving so that when we finally do get

rescued we can go back to our lives and forget about all of this.

"But…"

"No, Bella, there's no buts!" he snapped, making me jump from the sudden

harshness in his voice. "We can't go there."

I started to breath heavy from the realization that I just messed everything up

again. I should have never said anything to him; perhaps we would have been able
to return to our previous closeness as friends if I would have just given him more
time to cool off from the boat situation. But now that was ruined as well. I told him I
wanted to be with him, and he rejected me; it was a blow that neither of us was
going to be able to recover from.

"Fine," I said with tears rolling down my cheeks. "You're right, we shouldn't go

there." I crawled out of the cave and planned to go find some place to hide, but if
course he followed me.

"Bella wait. Don't go running off, let's just talk about this."

- 93 -

But I was still far too stubborn for that. "No, we talked enough, just leave me

alone!" I shouted at him, but then I quickly turned back. "Just give me a couple
hours," I corrected, not wanting him to think I wanted to separate completely again.
He may have broken my heart, but I couldn't live alone again, not entirely at least.

"BELLA STOP!" he shouted with surprising urgency.

"What?" I asked, alarmed by his tone.

"There's a snake right there."

I turned to face the green snake which was hanging from the trees, and then

rolled my eyes at his concern. "It's just Sam."

"Bella that is a Boomslang snake. It's poisonous!" he said before grabbing my arm

and pulling me back.

"He never hurt me before," I argued while jerking my arm away from him. I just

needed to get out of his presence for a little while, why couldn't he just let me go?

"Wait, there's another one," he said, pointing to a second snake on the other side

of me.

Sam was twins? – I stupidly thought. Perhaps I never actually befriended a single

snake after all. God, I was such an idiot.

The first snake hissed at me, so I shrieked. Edward responded by quickly pulling

me behind him, but his bold move turned out to backfire on both of us, because he
pushed me right into a third snake….and it bit me.

"Edward!" I shouted. He looked back at me, and when he realized what had

happened his entire face distorted into a mix of panic and fear. Without another
word he, he scooped me up bridal style and ran us back to the cave. "It burns," I
cried. My wrist where I was bitten was on fire, and it hurt so badly that it was hard
to focus on anything other than the pain.

"I know," he said full of grief. "Just hang on; don't go to sleep." The desperation in

his voice was thick, but all I could think about was how I was going to die and he'd
never know how much he truly meant to me. It didn't matter if the feeling wasn't
mutual; I wanted him to know just the same.

"Edward," I croaked.

- 94 -

"Shhh, it's ok, it's going to be ok. I'm not going to let you leave me again; do you

understand? I'm going to make the pain stop, Bella, I'm going to make it go away,"
he said, but it was hard to focus on him. The burning was just too intense.

But then he did something I never would have imagined – he brought my wrist up

to his mouth and began sucking on the wound. I had no idea what he was doing, but
the next thing I knew the burning was receding.

He pulled his lips away from my skin and spit out a mouthful of blood, before

replacing them and continuing to suck. He repeated this three more times before
the burning was all but extinguished, and I felt myself drifting off into the
blackness….

***A/N:Oh yeah, I went there! *this is me hiding my face*LOL

WARNING: Trying to suck venom and/or poison out of someone's wound/bite in

real life DOES NOT WORK and can potentially be harmful to both people. Please do
not attempt this yourself. If you suspect you've been bitten by a poisonous
animal/insect, please seek professional emergency help.

(Yes, another seemingly unnecessary warning, but you know there is that ONE

person out there that can't understand the difference between fact and FICTION ;-)

- 95 -

Real Life

Chapter 10 – Real Life

I woke up some time later to the soft sweet melody of a lullaby being hummed by

the most beautiful voice in the world. And like the last time I heard the same tune, it
stopped when he realized I was waking up.

"Edward?" I asked groggily.

"I'm right here," I heard him say as he stroked my hair softly with his hand. Was

my head in his lap? It sure felt like it.

I tentatively looked up, only to see him looking back down at me with a warm

smile. I was definitely in his lap.

"How long have I been asleep for?" I asked.

"Two days," he said quietly.

"Two days?" I asked surprised. "Have I been laying on you that long?"

He laughed softly. "No. I had to make sure you got water so I've been going back

and forth to the lagoon. You haven't been sleeping the entire time, you woke slightly
when I got back here a couple hours ago – You moved yourself into this position," he
said with a smirk.

"Oh, sorry."

"I don't mind," he said taking me aback.

"I thought you didn't want me anywhere near you," I said while forcing myself to

scoot off of him.

"Bella, you're my best friend….well, my only friend. Of course I want to be near

you."

"Really?"

"How are you feeling?" he asked, changing the subject.

- 96 -

"Ok. A little tired, but surprisingly fine."

"You lost a lot of blood, but I think all the venom is out of your system."

"Thanks to you," I said graciously.

"Well, I wasn't about to lose you again, especially not like that….But you really

had me worried there for awhile."

"How did you know what to do to save me?"

"Boy scouts. Well, my troop leader said it could work in theory, but I think it's only

ever been done with rattlesnakes. Then again, I was never allowed to go on the
scout camping trips, so maybe there was more information that I missed."

"But couldn't that have made you sick?" I asked worriedly, thinking about the way

he sucked my venomous blood into his mouth.

"I didn't swallow any of it."

"But what if you did? Or what if you had a cut in your mouth or something?" I

asked in a panic.

"Bella, I'm fine. We're both okay, that's all that matters."

I couldn't believe he would do that. Regardless of the outcome, he had no idea if

sucking the venom out like that could hurt him or even kill him, and he did it
anyway. He knowingly put himself at risk to save my life, which made me
grateful…and so beyond angry.

"Thank you…for saving my life…..But don't ever do something that stupid again!" I

scolded him. "I couldn't take it if you died because of me."

"Well, I couldn't just sit by and watch you die either. Besides, it was my fault; I

pushed you into the snake."

"Only because you were trying to save me from a different one. If I would have

just listened to you and backed away from the snake right away, we probably both
would have been fine. Hell, if I would have lit that stupid signal fire we would have
been home by now."

"I'm glad you didn't," he whispered, completely flabbergasting me.

- 97 -

"You are?"

"I wanted to leave because that's what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to

want to leave. I just kept thinking about my mom and your family…it's not fair to
them if we actually choose to stay here."

Was that why he had pulled away - Because he felt guilty about wanting to stay?

"But what if we do? What if there's never another ship? I don't want to live every

day for the next indefinite amount of time just waiting to be taken back, and I'm not
going to beat myself up for being happy either."

"Bella, you don't want to be with me…not really," he said unexpectedly.

I furrowed my brows. "Yes, I do. I told you that I do."

"If we weren't stranded here together, I would be the last person in the world

you'd ever want to be with."

I wanted to argue with him, but the truth was that he was right.

"I have to tell you something," I said uncertain if I should tell him what I was

about to say or not. But I wanted to be completely honest, so I decided that
whichever way he took it, we both needed me to say it. "Once….my friends and
I….we played this game where we had to pick who we would only be with if there
were no other guys in the world….and I said you."

He laughed once humorlessly. "I'm sure I was all of the girls' picks."

"No….just mine."

"Well, that's exactly my point. You'd never even consider me if we were home."

"But back then I was a shallow, brainless…bitch. I'm so grateful that I got stuck

here, because it gave me the chance to get to know you, and you really are the best
person I've ever known. I feel things for you that I never even imagined could be
real."

"It's not real. Whatever you think you want right now…whatever you think you're

feeling, it's only because you're forgetting what real life is like….and when you
finally remember it'll be too late. We'll both regret it for the rest of our lives."

- 98 -

"Edward, you're wrong, this is real life. It may be a world away from everything

we thought we knew before, but it's what's real now," I told him with conviction.
"I've been so confused lately, but the one thing I'm sure about is my feelings for you.
I want to be with you, and that's the most real I've ever felt about anything."

"But when another boat comes, or a plane -"

"No one is coming for us," I interrupted him. "That boat isn't coming back and

others aren't either. They may not have even seen us from that far away anyway.
We're on our own here; I truly feel that, and I've accepted it. It's like we really are
the last two people in the world and there's no one I'd rather be alone with for the
rest of my life…than you."

We were both quiet for a few tortuously long moments, and then he sighed. "Well,

if you're going to be my wife, you'll have to be more handy."

"Ok," I said seriously.

He looked surprised by my response, so he responded by surprising me back. He

kissed me - and he kissed me hard. The intensity of his kiss took my breath away,
but I forced myself to find a new way of breathing because I wasn't going allow him
to back down again.

His tongue pushed into my mouth while his hands found their way under my shirt

to the base of my bra. Just like the time before, I arched my chest into his hand,
begging him to continue, but once again he pulled back. However before I had a
chance to protest, his hands moved to the hem of my shirt, and he pulled it over my
head.

"I don't want to hurt you," he mumbled against my lips, but his hands were right

back at my bra.

"I feel perfect," I said, knowing he was only worried because of the snake bite. "I

want you…I want you now."

My breathing spiked as his hands traced my bra around my body so he could

unhinge the back. And when he let out a low moan after exposing my breasts, I
couldn't help but smile. I'll never understand guy's obsession with boobs.

His lips met the skin on my neck where he began kissing down my body until he

reached my sensitive nipples, sending electric waves up and down my spine. God, I
never knew anything could feel that good.

- 99 -

He moved back up my torso, and then kissed behind my ear. "I want to be inside

of you," he said, no louder than a breath. His words made me squirm as the
pulsating between my legs ached with need. Oh yes, I wanted him inside me too. I
needed him inside of me.

I reached between us and unbuttoned his shorts, which he helped remove by

wiggling out of, and as he was working on my shorts, I grabbed a hold of his
hardness and was more than surprised by his size. His height wasn't the only thing
that grew since the last time I encountered his erection.

I began stroking him slowly, but he huffed then grabbed my hand to lock it above

my head while he finished removing my shorts. Despite his joking, he didn't want me
to be handy at the moment, he wanted the real thing and I wanted nothing more
than to give it to him.

When there was no clothing left between us, he positioned himself between my

legs, and looked me in the eye to make sure I still wanted to continue. But I was far
past having the ability to speak at that point, so I answered him by lifting my hips
towards him. I was ready to give him all of me, we both were.

I wrapped my arms around his torso as he pushed into me slowly, and the feeling

of it was like nothing I had ever experienced. I never realized how utterly empty I
was before that moment, but as he filled me completely I couldn't even remember
what it was like before him.

I had been expecting pain from losing my virginity, everyone said it would hurt,

but that's not what I was feeling. Perhaps my emotions were overriding any
discomfort, because the only thing I could think of was the fact that Edward was
inside of me. We were connected; perfectly fit together like pieces of a puzzle, which
only reaffirmed my belief that we were exactly where we were supposed to be. I was
always meant for him, and I had to believe that I would have realized that even if we
were never stranded together.

He moved slowly, pumping himself in and out of me in a gentle cadence until I just

couldn't take it anymore. It seemed like he just started, but I was so engrossed in
the gravity of what was happening that I lost control and I began to quiver around
him. He gasped as my pulsating caused him to stiffen before he let out a moan as he
convulsed inside of me.

It didn't last long, and yet I couldn't imagine it being more perfect.

We breathed together as we both tried to reclaim our wits, but I was so glad that

- 100 -

he remained inside of me while doing so.

He rested his forehead against mine, and looked deeply into my eyes. "Are you

ok?" he murmured.

I swallowed hard and then nodded. "Are you?" I whispered.

He grinned widely. "I've never been better….but I think I can do better," he joked

lightly.

I giggled knowing he meant how quick it was. "That was probably my fault."

"That was definitely your fault," he teased.

"I still thought we did amazing, so think how good it'll be next time."

"Well, we have all the time in the world to practice," he said playfully, but kept his

gentle tone.

"I do love practicing."

He pulled out of me slowly, and then we laid together side by side while silently

reflecting on what had just happened. But not having him inside of me strangely
felt…strange; almost too empty like I was missing some important part of me, so I
turned my head to look at him expectantly. I almost giggled to see him looking at me
exactly the same way, so without having to say a word, he was back on me and back
inside me.

I held onto him tightly as he slid in and out of me, but unlike the first time, he

wasn't gentle….not that I was complaining - His slow, even movements had erupted
into fast frenzied pounding that left me wishing he'd go even harder. My hands went
from knotted in his hair, to clawing down his perfectly sculpted back while I kept my
legs wrapped around his hips for support. Every time he entered me, I'd lift my hips
to meet his which only added to the feeling that much more. Before I knew it, there
was a tightening in my gut and we were coming undone together once again.

It was pure agonizing bliss.

After he pulled out again, he rolled back over on his back, and I rolled over as well

so I could lie across his still panting chest. We were both all sticky with sweat, but
neither of us cared; in fact, I think I preferred him that way. His sweat was so sweet
that I wished he could remain in that state permanently.

- 101 -

We laid there together in that way for hours, just basking in the glorious afterglow

of making love. But eventually my stomach growled so Edward chuckled and pulled
on his shorts before leaving to get me something to eat. I didn't want him to go, but
he didn't really give me a choice in the matter. He was back a little while later with
a plethora of fruit.

"The weather wasn't great for fishing," he said apologetically.

"I wouldn't want you gone that long anyway." I sat up to peel a banana, but

Edward didn't eat anything; instead he just sat there and stared at my exposed
breasts. "You're allowed to touch them whenever you want - it's not like you have to
look at them as much as possible before I put them away," I chided him.

His eyes moved up my body to meet my stare. "I'm not trying to fixate on them,

but…" his sentence trailed off as his eyes relocked onto my chest.

I threw my banana peel at him, which knocked him out of his stupor.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"You're such a pervy teenager."

"Yes…yes, I am."

I laughed. "Well, if your new obsession gets in the way of your eating, then I'll just

have to put my shirt back on."

"New obsession? It's not new in the slightest, and if you put your shirt back on, I

can't be held responsible if it ends up getting ripped off… And we don't want that to
happen…right?"

"No, we don't… Fine," I said with a sly smile. "I guess I'll just have to do this…" I

parted my hair in the back, and then brought both halves forward over my
shoulders. Luckily my hair had grown long enough to cover my breasts, which made
Edward give me his best sulking face. "Eat." I insisted.

"Okay," he pouted.

I had never seen anyone eat so quickly in my life.

When we were both finished, he pushed my hair back over my shoulder and

resumed kissing my entire body.

- 102 -

We spent the next couple days in the same fashion of making love, sleeping naked

while tangled up together, and parting only long enough to take care of basic facts
of life. We couldn't get enough of each other, but we still found time for the
occasional playful banter.

"So…I was honest with you about the whole boat situation…" I said one

morning….or afternoon, I wasn't quite sure. We were just coming down from
another love session, but something came to mind and I couldn't help voicing it.

He laughed. "Yeah, so?"

"So now you have to be honest with me."

"Okay, about what?"

"I wanna know about the time we were apart."

"Ok?"

"Did you ever…watch me?"

"Watch you?"

"Yeah, you said you would check on me from time to time. Did you ever check on

me when I was naked?" I asked while biting my lip to suppress my laugh.

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"Yeah…I saw you naked a couple times."

My smile grew. "Did you like what you saw?"

"Eh," he said with a shrug, so I punched him. "Yes, of course I like the way you

look naked. You should be naked all the time."

"Did you ever masturbate while watching me?"

He looked at me stunned by my question, but then he shook his head no.

"Oh, come on. Not even once?"

- 103 -

"Would you mind if I did?"

"No." I said feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't just sit there and masturbate in the

shadows while you bathed. I might be pervy, as you called it, but I'm not that
sleazily perverted."

"How about afterwards…after you saw me naked and you went back to your

camp…did you do it then?"

He tried to conceal it, but he smiled despite himself which was enough of an

answer for me - I absolutely loved that he had wacked off with me on his mind
before we got together.

"What about that time when you woke up with a hard on?" I asked, probably

pressing my luck. "Were you thinking about me then too?"

"Bella, you were prancing around in your bra….what do you think?" He rolled us

over so he was back over me, and then he left a trail of kisses down my bare chest.
"My obsession with your breasts has been going on for quite some time now. You
have no idea how much I wanted to touch you." He pulled his lips away so his hands
could caress my breasts as to demonstrate exactly what he meant. My nipples slid
between his fingers causing them to harden, and then he pinched them.

"Ouch," I protested playfully.

"I've imagined all kinds of things I wanted to do to you," he said, ignoring my

squeal.

"Well, why didn't you ever do anything about it?" I asked with a grin. "Chicks

aren't supposed to be the ones to have to make the first move."

But then he got serious. "Bella, I never thought in a million years that you would

ever let me do this to you," he said while rubbing his hand down my chest again.

"What about after we kissed?" We had already talked about it a little, but I still felt

like there may be some things left to say.

He shook his head. "I honestly thought you were just trying to be… nice. That is

what you said."

- 104 -

I kicked myself internally from the memory of it. I was such a moron. "So why did

you turn me down when I first told you I wanted to be with you then?"

"Bella, you had been acting irrational…I honestly thought you had developed

Island Fever," he said before kissing my forehead. "I didn't want you to regret it
after being rescued."

He had thought I was crazy for wanting him? The thought made my heart ache

because the truth was the exact opposite – I was crazy for ever not wanting him.

"But we already were rescued," I contradicted him. "Coming here was our rescue.

Falling off the Marine Biology boat was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"So…no regrets?" he asked with a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

"No regrets," I replied doubtlessly. I regretted a lot of things in my life, but I knew

that wasn't what he was talking about - I would never regret being with him. He
became my world, and it was so much more full of color than anything I had ever
encountered before. Our lives had quickly become pure and honest, and there was
nothing and no one back in the other world that I'd miss enough to ever make me
want to go back. I could foresee us growing old together on that island, and I knew
I'd never regret another moment of it.

- 105 -

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 11 – Saying Goodbye

After spending the afternoon skinny dipping in the lagoon, Edward and I were

relaxing on the rocks under the waterfall, when suddenly he sat up and began
torturing me.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled as he ran his finger tips slowly down my torso;

he had started at my neck, and then trailed his nails ever so lightly between my
breasts, down the center of my stomach, and finally towards my pubic region.

"Nothing to concern yourself with, now keep quiet," he said sternly…which made

me giggle. I loved it when he got all assertive.

When he reached the promise land, as he had previously called it, he didn't make

circular motions on my sensitivity like he often did before we made love; instead he
seemed to be fixated on something as his fingers caressed every part of my most
intimate area. He rubbed and traced my folds, which made my muscles tighten with
desire, but then he growled at me.

"Don't come," he warned me gruffly.

"What? Why?" I asked in an almost panic. Was I missing something?

"Because, I said not to."

"Edward," I whined. We had already made love a few times that day, but how was

I supposed to not come when he was touching me like that? I was about to voice my
complaint, but then he slid a finger into my moist entrance and my breath caught
making it impossible to speak. What the hell was he doing?

He moved his finger all around inside of me, rubbing up and down my inner walls,

but when they began to tighten and pulsate, he scolded me. "Don't come!"

"Why?" I managed to cry out, so thankfully he decided to have mercy on me and

explain.

"Because I'm studying."

- 106 -

"I aced Anatomy and Sex Ed, but researching in the flesh is so much more

enlightening," he said provocatively, making his demand that much more difficult.

"Why can't I come?" I asked desperately.

"Because if you do, I won't be able to understand what's really going on down

there. I want to see how everything works before an orgasm."

I wanted to roll my eyes at him – only Edward would care how it works – all I

cared about was that it did, and felt absolutely amazing. But Edward was Edward,
and I would never want to change him….even when he was performing his achingly
sexy nerdy stunt.

"Edward, I can't take it anymore!" I screamed out as he continued to torment me

with his path of erotic discovery. His hand had to have been completely covered in
my wetness by that point, but he didn't seem to notice or care. His assault wasn't
going to end until he got whatever it was that he was after.

I tried to hold on…I really did. I wanted nothing more than to help him with his

'studying', but I just couldn't do it for a moment longer, and I erupted feeling like I
was bursting from every pore.

Edward must have felt my imminent climax, because in one swift move, his fingers

were replaced with his impressive length and he was pounding into me, allowing my
orgasm to enhance his sensation.

"That was so mean," I said while panting after he finally finished and pulled out of

me.

He chuckled. "I'll make it up to you."

"I think you already did," I huffed.

In the days since first making love, Edward and I had rarely been apart, but we

didn't just stay in the cave. We had sex all over the island – on the beach, on the
rocks, in the jungle, in the ocean, and my personal favorite, the lagoon. We were like
animals and couldn't get enough of each other, but as time went on, we tried to
force ourselves to make some kind of 'normal routine'. We had been neglecting our
health and not fishing as often as we should, so Edward decided it was important to
separate a few times daily to do so; a decision that I wasn't too fond of.

But as more time passed, we found an acceptable balance of making love first

- 107 -

thing in the mornings, fishing, forcing ourselves to be dressed and find other things
to do, and then make love some more before separating long enough to take care of
dinner. We didn't always stick to the routine, but Edward seemed to think it was
important to try.

"We can't just have sex all the time. We have to keep being friends too," he had

told me, but he was far worse at it than I was. I wanted him all the time, but he had
the self control of every other teen boy.

But, eventually it got easier….I guess.

"I brought you something," Edward said enthusiastically with his hands hidden

behind his back.

"What?" I asked with a nervous grin. He had just left me on the beach to go

fishing, but the fact that he was already back and was that excited, I knew he must
have found something….interesting. The last time he acted like that he had an eel.

"You're really going to owe me some kind of sexual favor for this," he joked.

I rolled my eyes. "I do whatever you want already; favors aren't necessary."

He thought about it for a moment, and then nodded to himself. "Yeah….but this is

still really cool."

"Ok, show me already," I said, getting increasingly more anxious. Edward was my

favorite person in the entire world, but that didn't mean I liked everything he liked,
and I really wasn't looking forward to whatever he had.

"Just for you," he said with a smile before bringing his hands out from behind his

back to show me what it was.

I didn't know whether to run away screaming, or actually be just as excited as he

was. In his hands, was a large crab. And it wasn't just another hermit crab like we
had seen everywhere; it was a real crab, the kind I use to order in restaurants…and
it was ugly. I realized then that crab, shrimp, and lobsters were nothing more than
sea insects and I was pretty grossed out by all of them. Of course, then I thought
about my previous worm consumption and I decided to get over it.

"Wow, how did you catch it?" I asked.

"I was just heading out to the reef and I saw it there in the shallow water."

- 108 -

"That's great…but how are we going to cook it? Aren't crabs usually boiled?"

His face dropped. "Oh yeah…Well, I guess we're just going to have to roast it over

the fire and see how it turns out. At least we always have fish to fall back on."

I smiled at him again. Edward was such an optimist, which was one of the things I

loved the most about him. "Ok, let's try it."

I jammed a stick through the crab, which wasn't easy to do, and then I held it over

the fire.

"You know, there's something innately sexy about watching you cook," Edward

said in his sexiest voice. It was that voice he'd use when he wanted me, and it sent
vibrations throughout every inch of my body.

"You know, there's something innately sexy about you hunting for our dinner," I

replied. "I've always had a thing for you with your spear."

Edward stepped towards me with that hungry look in his eyes, but I had to stop

him before it got too far. "Nope, don't even think about it."

"Why not?" he asked confused.

"Because we're not going to waste this crab, and if we start having sex it'll burn

on the fire."

"I can always catch another one," he said unfazed.

I rolled my eyes at him again. He was such a horny teenager.

"Hey, you're the one that made up the 'rules' about not having sex every minute of

the day, and we're going to abide by them."

"I was so wrong," he whined and sulked like an unhappy child who just had a toy

taken away.

I laughed. God, he was so cute when he pouted. How could someone be sexy as

hell and still that adorable?

He managed to calm himself down, and when we figured the crab was ready we

cracked it open with a rock and tried it….but I think we took it off the fire too soon,
cause it was absolutely horrible.

- 109 -

"I should probably go spear some fish," Edward said after we disappointedly

discarded the crab.

"Or we can just skip dinner. I'm not really hungry anyway….at least not for food," I

said suggestively.

"Oh really? What happened to sticking with the rules and forcing ourselves to

eat?"

"We can do that tomorrow. Besides my duties as your wife include being handy

just as much as cooking your meals," I joked.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me surprisingly tender. "I couldn't

have asked for a better wife."

His words made me melt into a puddle at his feet…metaphorically, that is.

I kissed his chest. "I couldn't have asked for a better husband," I murmured back.

We were so cheesy, and I loved every moment of it.

He brought his hands up to cradle my face and kissed me one more time sweetly,

before letting his tongue morph it into a desperate fit of passion.

We made love right there on the beach, which wasn't my favorite setting due to

the fact that sand ended up in uncomfortable places, but more times than not, we'd
just have sex wherever we were when the urge came; we could rarely wait to get
back to more desirable locations. But the beach definitely had its perks – like
holding each other while we watched the sun set over the water. Though for some
reason, I caught a hint of sadness in Edward's eyes that night.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he said quickly, but I narrowed my eyes at him so he sighed. We swore

to never lie to each other, and we both knew he wasn't being completely honest, so
he confessed. "Nothing big. I was just thinking about the way my mom used to say
that when the sun sets over the water, it makes a sizzling noise that you could only
hear if you're so quiet that even your mind shuts up for awhile….I know it's just a
fun story without any logical truth behind it, but I still always tried to do it, and I've
never been able to."

"What? Quiet your mind?"

- 110 -

"Yeah. Getting my mind to shut up is something I just can't seem to accomplish."

"Maybe it's got nothing to do with the actual thoughts running through your mind,

maybe it's what you're thinking about."

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"Well, I bet I can guess what you think about when you see a sun set….Your mom.

You miss her, and that's ok."

"How lame does that sound? I miss my mommy…it's pathetic."

"It's not pathetic. Your mom has always been a very large presence in your life,

and even if she wasn't, it's still ok to miss the people we left behind."

"But I don't want to miss anyone. I hated everything about my life before, and I'm

more than happy to leave it all."

I was surprised by his admission, I knew he wasn't the happiest of kids back

home, but I never heard him say that he hated his life.

"Did you really hate it, or do you just prefer life here so you think you hated it?" I

asked him, unsure if I made sense or not.

But he seemed to understand me, and he sighed. "No, I guess I didn't hate my life

when I was living it. But I hate it now looking back on the way it was."

"And you still miss your mom," I told him. "Despite her being overbearing, you still

miss her because she is your mom and you know everything she did was out of love.
You can miss something, and still not want to go back to it."

He was quiet as he thought about it for awhile, and then he kissed my forehead.

"You are way smarter then you give yourself credit for."

"That's not being smart, that's just looking at it from an outside perspective."

"You are smart, and one day you'll realize it," he argued. "And you're absolutely

right, I think I do miss her, but I was confused because I always thought that
missing someone meant you had to want to be with them. I love my mom, but I don't
want to go back."

"I feel the same way about my parents," I told him quietly.

- 111 -

We made love again, shoving even more sand into unwanted places, but after

Edward fell asleep for the night, I found myself still thinking about our conversation.
We made the decision to not hope to be rescued, but we never dealt with the
emotions of what that meant. We were never going to see our families again, and we
needed a chance to grieve that loss if we were ever going to be truly happy together
on the island.

So I came up with an idea and hoped Edward wouldn't think I was a complete

idiot.

The next morning, after breakfast, I took Edward by the hand, and led him to my

intended location in the jungle.

"What's up?" he asked confused. I pulled him down to sit next to me, which only

confused him even more.

"I found these rocks that write like chalk, and I thought we could write down

everything we miss about being home." The rocks didn't work well enough to really
write anything substantial, but for my little exercise they would be fine.

He looked at me with a suspicious grin. "Why?"

"Just humor me."

"You're the boss," he replied. "But you have to go first."

"Ok…" I grabbed a piece of tree bark I had collected ahead of time, and then

wrote 'Charlie' with the chalk rock thingy. "I miss my dad," I said with a sorrow
filled smiled, before setting the bark aside and handing Edward a different one to
write on.

"Oh it's my turn now?"

I nodded with my best 'duh' expression.

"Ok," he said with a chuckle. "Um…My mom," he said while writing 'Esme'.

It was my turn again, so I took another piece of bark and wrote 'Renee'.

We each wrote out all our various family member's names, but then we started

writing other things that use to be important to us as well.

- 112 -

'The Mall' – I wrote. Edward laughed at that one.

'Marine Biology' – he wrote next.

'My bedroom'

'Books'

'Tampons'

'Chess'

'Cheerleading'

'Computers'

'My cell phone'

'Going to the movies'

We continued to write down everything that made us who we were, even the less

decent things like 'partying' for me, and then we started to get a little silly with it.

'Pizza' – he wrote.

'Daydreaming about Robert Pattinson' – Edward looked at me disturbed from that

one. "What, he's so sexy," I said defensively.

"And in serious need of a tan," he argued.

"There's nothing wrong with being fair skinned. You weren't so dark before

coming here."

"Yeah, but you would think a movie star would have enough money to go to a

tanning booth or something."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You know, you kind of look like him a bit."

He glared at me. "Please."

- 113 -

"You do," I said, surprised that I never noticed it before.

"Have you ever seen the movie 'Shallow Hal'?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked, confused by the sudden change in topic…or at least I

thought it was a change in topic.

"How do you know I'm not still really fat and atrociously ugly? Being stranded

with someone can really mess with the mind."

"That's not what happened in that movie. He had a spell on him, or brainwashed

or something."

"Yep, that's what it is. This island has brainwashed you. If we were ever taken

back and you were able to really compare me to people, I bet you'd feel differently
about me."

There were times when Edward was so sure of himself that I was starting to worry

about his ego, but every once in awhile he had the confidence of a paper bag. I
blamed myself for ever teasing him.

"Edward, you only think that because there are no mirrors here to look at yourself.

And for the record, you were never ugly. I think teenagers in group settings like at
school, just feed off each other's shallow cruelties. All it takes in one popular person
to not like you, and then no one likes you. It's really disgusting."

"Well, it's also true that when you care about someone, an attraction can grow,"

he said.

Of course he was right, I started having feelings for him before his

transformation….but my attraction for him now went beyond emotions. "Nope,
you've gotten seriously hot. I'm sure even the morons back at Forks High would
agree."

"So, you only want me for my appearance?" he challenged playfully.

"Naturally," I joked back. "Oh, and your adorably annoying Mr. Know It All

personality."

"Oh really?" he said before pushing me over and kissing me.

No matter how much I loved having sex with him, it also felt really good to just lay

- 114 -

there and make out for awhile. But I refused to allow us to deviate too far from the
task at hand. It was something important to me, so eventually we pulled away from
each other and continued.

'Dreams of being Prom Queen' – I wrote.

'Dreams of going to Cornell University' - He wrote next.

I already knew my life had been extremely shallow, but seeing our past goals next

to each other like that made me even more disappointed with myself than before.

When we were finally finished with writing everything we could possibly think of

that we missed from home, Edward looked at me expectantly. "What now?"

"Well, I dug this hole when you were fishing this morning," I told him while

moving the big rock I had used to cover the hole. "And we're going to bury it all."

He looked at me with an expression I didn't quite understand, but then he

smirked. "Burying who we used to be, huh?"

"Saying goodbye to who we used to be, and then letting it all go," I corrected him.

He nodded. "This is a great idea."

I shrugged. "It's ok to grieve all that we lost by being here…but it's time to move

past it."

"You're absolutely right," he said before helping me move all the bark into the

hole.

We covered our pile with dirt, and then stood over it for a moment to let it all

really sink in. Then we turned towards the beach, and walked away from our past,
hand in hand towards our future together. There was absolutely nothing in that hole
that was more important to me than my life on the island with Edward, and I knew
I'd never regret that feeling….not even when coping with unexpected bouts of
nausea.

- 115 -

Surprises

Chapter 12 – Surprises

"Are you ok?" Edward asked me one morning when he found me vomiting off the

rocks into the ocean.

"Yeah, I'm fine… You know, that fruit didn't taste right last night; maybe it was

starting to turn, or something. But I'm ok, I feel better already."

"I'm sure you could really use some Pepsid right about now, though," he said with

a smirk.

"Nope. I'm fine. I have everything I need right here," I said doubtlessly. "We're

bound to get sick every once in awhile, Edward. We just have to deal with it."

And I really was fine; I felt completely normal after that, and decided to go full

steam ahead with the exciting plans that I had for that day.

I didn't tell Edward, but before we buried our past selves, I secretly pulled one of

his pieces out of the hole. I was working on a surprise for him which meant he
couldn't leave that particular part of himself behind, but it was hard to finish when I
was rarely alone.

"I think you should go on a hike," I told him that afternoon.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I know you weren't feeling well, but are you that

sick of me already?"

Like I could actually ever be sick of him. "No," I said quickly. "But like you said,

we should make sure we have time to do things other than have sex all day every
day."

"You were sick this morning; I really don't want to leave you."

"I've already told you a hundred times, I'm fine. I feel completely normal…I

swear."

"Ok, but why are you trying to get rid of me?" he asked playfully.

- 116 -

"I've just been wanting to work on weaving, and you're so horny that I never have

any time." – We said we'd never lie to each other, so I told him something that was
true. Technically I did plan on doing some weaving while he was gone.

He chuckled. "Alright. I'll be back in a couple hours." He leaned in and kissed me

tenderly before slipping on his shoes and heading inland.

A couple hours wasn't much time, so I had to hurry. I collected dry palm leaves

and shredded them into strips. Since they were darker on one side than the other,
I'd alternate the strips and weave them in and out of each other making a checkered
pattern. Once my 'mat', as I chose to call it, was approximately the right size, I
brought out my shell collection to sort through and I picked the ones that best
matched the various necessary pieces.

When I finally completed the project, I hid it by our fire pit and anxiously awaited

Edward's return. It had been a long couple of hours, in fact it was the longest we
had been apart since being together, so I was more than ready for him to return,
and so glad when he finally did.

"Hey," he murmured as we held each other tightly. On an island where time didn't

exist, those few hours may as well have been days.

"I missed you," I mumbled into the crook of his neck. He smelled so incredible,

like the earthy mustiness of the jungle mixed with his sweet sweat - I wished I could
just bathe in him and live like that forever.

"I missed you too," he cooed back while stroking my hair as he held me. "Are you

ok?" he asked suddenly concerned by my emotional welcome.

"Yeah," I said with a smile, but then oddly felt a tear escape down my cheek. Why

the hell was I crying? "I just really missed you, that's all."

"Okay, well, I'm not going to leave again. Hikes are definitely not thrilling enough

for you to miss me this much," he said with a gentle laugh.

I rested my head on his chest for a moment. "No, I'm glad you went, I really have

no idea why I'm losing it here."

"You sure you're ok?"

"Of course," I said with a smile, and I really was. "I made you something."

- 117 -

He smiled like a kid at Christmas. "What?"

"Close your eyes," I instructed.

When he did as I told him, I ran to get my project, and carefully brought it back to

set it up on the sand in front of him.

"Ok, open," I said eagerly.

He stared at it for a moment in shock before a huge grin crept onto his lips. "You

made a chess board?"

Or mat…but whatever. "Do you like it?"

"Ah babe, I love it!" he said while kneeling down to get a better look.

That wasn't the first time he ever called me a pet name like 'babe', but I couldn't

help but smile widely from hearing it.

"But I left chess behind in the hole of things we miss," he told me.

"Yeah, but I took it out…See?" I said while showing him the piece of bark that read

'chess'. "You don't have to leave it behind after all."

"Did I ever tell you how amazing you are?"

"Maybe, but you can always tell me again," I said playfully.

"You are amazing," he said before pulling me in for a kiss. "Now let's play."

"Ok, but you have to go easy on me, I've never been very good at it."

"By the time I'm done with you, you'll be the second best around," he teased.

"Har har," I joked back. "Don't teach me too well though, I may just surpass you."

"Let's not get carried away," he said with faux seriousness. "We don't want to lie

to ourselves."

"We'll see. Give me a decade and I might surprise you," I argued playfully.

"Alright, you have ten years to beat me."

- 118 -

"And what if I do?" I challenged him.

"What do you want?"

"I'm not sure, but I have plenty of time to think about it….Of course, since we have

no way of keeping track of time, I might just take twenty years and you'll never
know the difference."

"Or I could challenge you in two years, and convince you it's been a decade."

I rolled my eyes at him.

We played a few games…and of course I lost each one, but since he was the best

chess player in Forks and I had only ever played my dad a few times, I didn't feel too
badly about it.

"Do you ever wonder if the world is still the same out there?" I asked as we sat

together while staring out over the ocean.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, like World War 3 could be happening and we'd never know. There could be

some massive epidemic or a major natural disaster affecting half the country. We
really are pretty lucky to be here, if you think about it."

"There are a lot of good things about being away from civilization….you know,

besides the obvious."

"And what's the obvious?" I asked with a giggle.

"You know, the fact that you walk around topless all the time. Technically we don't

need clothes at all. We could just walk around like cave people."

"We could….except there are a lot of little insects and various creatures that can

crawl into certain holes that may end up being a bit problematic."

He thought about it for a moment, and then a disturbed expression crossed his

features. "You're worried about a bug crawling up your ass?"

"It could happen," I said defensively. "But if you feel like risking it, I'll be more

than happy to watch you constantly running around buck naked."

- 119 -

"Maybe we can both just be topless all the time."

"Yeah, I'm sure you would enjoy that."

"I would, and I do."

"I am not topless all the time…just most of the time."

"You're such a heathen."

"Oh, shut up."

He laughed. "What, I'm not the one being distastefully uncivilized here. It's

perfectly acceptable for a guy to not wear a shirt."

"There are topless beaches in Europe and it's perfectly acceptable. But, if I'm

offending you, I guess I'll just have to go find my shirt and wear it for now on.
Including when we have sex."

"You can't wear a shirt when we have sex! That's just….insulting."

"Nope, that's the way you want it…" I said while getting up and walking towards

the cave where I left my shirt.

"No, no, no, baby come on, I was just joking."

I giggled at the way he went from kidding around to desperately trying to keep me

from covering myself. He was such a guy.

It wasn't like I was always topless. Every once in awhile I'd put my shirt on, but

honestly, it was just more comfortable and I loved the way Edward would stare at
me lustfully at random moments. I usually tried to keep my hair covering my breasts
though, just because I didn't want him to get too use to my boobs being exposed and
lose all his desire for them. Familiarity was often the reason why guys got bored of
their partners….at least that was what my aunt had told me once.

But thinking about hair gave me an idea. "Do you want me to cut your hair?" I

asked him. It was getting pretty long and I knew it bothered him.

He was confused by my sudden change in topic, but then he became curious.

"How?"

- 120 -

"Doesn't that Swiss Army knife have a little pair of scissors on it?"

"Yeah, but they're so small it'll take a long time to cut all my hair."

I shrugged. "I don't have anything else to do."

"Ok…if you don't mind. I certainly don't want it getting any longer than it already

is."

The scissors would only cut a small amount of hair at a time, but I was able to get

it finished a lot quicker than either of us expected. I didn't cut it too short, just
enough so it wasn't completely annoying the hell out of him the way he had said it
did. But after it was cut, it sort of became this messy, windblown mop on his head
that sometimes looked a little too much like a bouffant, though I'd never tell him
that. I actually kind of liked it, but I was glad there were no mirrors on the island
because I knew he'd hate it….I wonder how bad I looked at that point. The lagoon
was reflective, but not well enough to really see, which I guess I was glad about – I
really didn't want to know how I looked, seeing how I couldn't do much about it.

That night the moon was shinning so brightly that we decided to sleep out on the

beach again, which turned out to be a good idea because before Edward even
started to stir the next morning, my nausea returned full force. Thankfully, it was
gone just as quickly as it came, and I was able to crawl back into Edward's arms
without waking him.

But the morning vomiting kept happening, and even though I wasn't trying to hide

it from Edward, I didn't tell him either. I always felt ok afterwards, and I knew he'd
just be worried if he knew, which I was fairly certain wasn't necessary. I never had a
fever or felt sick much throughout the day, so it had to be something minor like my
body still adjusting to the food, or something like that. I was fine, I wasn't worried,
and I refused to let Edward worry either.

Except, one day, he caught me…

I was rinsing my mouth out with ocean water after throwing up, when I stood and

turned back towards the beach and saw Edward right behind me.

"Are you ok?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, totally. I already feel better," I said dismissively.

"That's what you said last time," he argued worriedly.

- 121 -

"It goes away. My system must be adjusting still, but I'm usually fine by the

afternoon."

"Usually?" he asked surprised. "Wait, this has been going on this entire time?"

"No," I said quickly. "Just since you saw me the last time," I mumbled.

"Bella, that was like….weeks ago, or something."

"Edward, I'm fine," I tried assuring him, but he didn't believe me.

"Don't give me that crap. If you were fine, this wouldn't be happening for so long.

People don't just vomit every morning for no reason."

"It's probably the flu," I said like a moron.

He shook his head. "You can't get the flu when stranded on an island. The virus is

passed from person to person and since there are no people, you can't get it here.
Besides, the flu doesn't even last that long, and you'd be sick all day, not just in
the….morning," he said strangely, letting his sentence trail off into a whisper.

"What?" I asked anxiously. He obviously thought of something, but it didn't look as

though he was going to tell me, in fact, he had completely stopped frozen. "What is
it?"

But he didn't answer – Was he in shock? It was driving me insane, so I tried to

think about what he said that would make him act that way. Something about being
sick in the mornings…..OH SHIT!

"Wait, you think I'm…." I couldn't even say it. It couldn't be true….except, it could.

Of course it could be true, and I was an absolute idiot for not considering it sooner.
"Edward," I whispered after a minute. "What are we going to do?"

The statue besides me that use to be Edward, suddenly blinked, and then he

exploded into a fit of fury that I never thought he was capable of.

"How the hell could I have been so stupid!" he shouted. "What the fuck was I

thinking? I should have known this would happen! Why didn't I know this would
happen?"

"Edward, calm down," I said soothingly, but he couldn't hear me. He was too stuck

in his haze of self loathing to listen to anything I had to say.

- 122 -

"I aced Sex Ed, for crying out loud, how the hell could I have overlooked this?"

"Edward."

"I've fucking ruined everything! We have to do something, we have to figure out a

way off this stupid fucking island," he said in a panicked rush.

First of all, I had never heard Edward cuss like that before; secondly, he was way

overreacting.

"Everything is going to be fine," I said in the most confident voice I could muster

at that moment.

Edward stopped yelling at himself, and then turned to glare at me. "How is

everything going to be fine?" he fumed. "I'm not a doctor Bella, we can't do this. We
have to get off this island."

"And how are we going to do that?" I asked incredulously. "If we could leave, we

would have done it months ago. Everything is going to be fine. People have been
doing this since the beginning of time."

Suddenly it all became perfectly clear, and surprisingly I still wasn't worried. We

were going to have a baby. I had a baby growing inside of me. Edward's baby. The
thought sent a warming glow over every inch of my body.

I clearly remembered some of my friends being worried that they could be

pregnant and how horrifying it was, but this was nothing like that. When you're a
teenager, there isn't much that's more terrifying than having a baby in high
school…but despite my age, I was definitely not having a baby in high school - I'd
rather be a world away from a hospital than that. Edward and I weren't kids, not
anymore, and I didn't have a doubt that we could handle it.

Edward, on the other hand, would need more convincing.

"Do you know what the mortality rate was before hospitals and doctors came

around?" he asked me heatedly. "I'm not a doctor, I can't help you if something goes
wrong."

"Nothing will go wrong. I know this seems unbelievable, but I just know

everything is going to be fine. We can get through this, just like we got through all
the other obstacles we've faced since being here."

- 123 -

"This isn't a snake bite, Bella. I can handle a snake bite. I could probably handle a

broken bone or even digesting poisonous plants…I have no idea how to help a baby
being born!" And there it was…he said 'baby' out loud, which suddenly made it more
real. I think the feeling was mutual – he became quieter after that. "We have to find
a way off this island… I can try to make a raft or something."

"Setting out on the ocean would be a lot more hazardous than giving birth on this

island without a doctor."

"We can't do this, Bella," he tried reasoning with me softly. "I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me….You know, they say the best age to birth a baby is

at 15. Physically, girls peak at 15 and have the easiest recoveries. Although, I could
be sixteen by now, I'm not exactly sure how long we've been here." I was starting to
ramble again, but then I looked up at Edward and became seriously worried about
him. The level of stress on his features made him look years older than he was.

"Things go wrong with deliveries all the time. That's why C-Sections are so high

now. I can't do that. I wouldn't even know where to start…. I just really don't know
how I didn't think about this sooner."

"Would you have really changed anything?" I asked him. "Would you really not

make love to me if you realized this was going to happen?"

"No, I wouldn't have," he snapped at me.

"Oh come on, Edward. We agreed that this is our world now. We decided to make

our lives here. I mean, eventually I would have wanted kids; wouldn't you?"

"One day maybe…not now."

"What difference does it make?" I argued.

"We're teenagers."

I rolled my eyes. "Our age means nothing here, and you know that."

"You're right. It doesn't matter here, but the fact that I can't help you if something

goes wrong does matter," he said a little more calmly again.

"We knew there were risks to choosing to stay here, this is just one of them."

- 124 -

"But that's the thing, Bella…we're not choosing to be here. We're stranded. We

have no way to change our minds."

His words took me aback, and actually hurt. I really thought he was on the same

page I was. He said he was happy to build a life there, but now he was taking it
back. We didn't technically have a choice to be there seeing how there hadn't been
another boat, but I honestly thought there was nothing that would ever change his
mind about being happy about it.

We were both in shock about the pregnancy. For whatever reason, we never

considered it; our minds never even played with the idea of us having a baby there.
It was stupid and reckless, but it didn't change the fact that we had to face it. We
were going to be parents, and we were going to do it without any help from anyone.

My heart swelled.

***A/N: Yeah, guys, I hear you – How could Mr. Aced Sex Ed NOT think about

pregnancy? But I had to add a little 'Blue Lagoon' type ignorance as well as Canon
Edward type pregnancy-guilt-meltdown. I justify it as them being so caught up in a
world that was nothing like what they knew that they just didn't think about it.
They've been so lost on the island that perhaps it's not terribly unlikely that they
never even considered it….Yes…No? Oh well, that's what I'm sticking to. LOL

- 125 -

Building a Future

Chapter 13 – Building a Future

The days that followed my pregnancy discovery were….tense, to say the least.

Edward and I hardly spoke, and it had definitely been the longest we had gone
without sex since we first started doing it. I suddenly felt like we were one of those
old married couples who, after so many years together, just had nothing left to
say…except we had a lot we needed to say, it was just neither of us could think how
to start. We obviously weren't going to agree about our course of action, but he
wasn't going to let that stop him from doing what he thought was right.

"What are you doing?" I finally asked him after the third day of him cutting wood

and making binds without explanation. He would fish, collect fruit, build the fire,
basically everything that needed to be done on a daily basis, but when he wasn't
busy with any of that, he was doing whatever it was that he was doing and it was
driving me insane.

He was sitting on the ground, but didn't look up at me - he just answered

mechanically without pausing his work. "I'm making a boat."

He couldn't be serious - I felt my anger boil up inside of me. "I told you, I'm not

setting out on a tiny makeshift raft…Especially while pregnant."

But he didn't answer me, he just continued to cut and shred as if I didn't even

speak… but I had enough of his silent treatment.

"So, do you hate me now?" I asked him boldly. I didn't really think he hated me,

but he was sure acting like it. "All of the crap I said to you, all the bitchy things I did
before – none of that made you hate me, but this…" I let my sentence trail off
because he finally looked up at me with a horrified expression.

"You think I hate you? How could you think that?" he asked me softly.

I shrugged. "That's what it feels like."

"No, Bella, no; I could never hate you," he said intensely.

"So you're just pissed at me then?"

- 126 -

"No, it's not you….I'm pissed at myself; I just can't believe I did this to you."

He did this to me? - For such a smart guy, he really was capable of making dumb

remarks. "Oh, I must have missed the part where you held me down and forced
yourself on me," I said condescendingly.

"What?"

"Well, I'm just saying, it takes two to conceive a baby, so if you're mad at yourself

then you have to be mad at me too."

"No, I'm not mad at you at all, this is my fault. I should have known better," he

said, making me even angrier.

"Why should you have known better when I didn't? Are you just that much smarter

than me that I shouldn't be held just as responsible for overlooking it?"

"That's not what I meant," he said frustrated.

"Well, what did you mean then?"

"I…" he was at a loss of words, and then he sighed. "It's my job to protect

you…and I failed. I failed with that stupid snake, but this is even worse. I don't know
how to do this. I don't know how to fix this and I just feel so helpless." His admission
was painfully raw, and he seriously looked broken. It was as if he had been using his
self-loathing as a crutch, but when I challenged him his cold façade crumbled away
to expose all his emotions.

I stepped into his lap before sitting on him and snuggling into his chest. I think we

both needed that closeness again. We were each other's lifeline, and the stress of
our recent realization had been taxing but we couldn't let it come between us
anymore.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed my hair, and just like that,

everything seemed worlds better. Yes, the issue was still there, but being confident
in our bond definitely made it easier to handle.

"It's not your job to protect me…it's our job to protect each other," I murmured

into his skin. "But we didn't do anything wrong. Having a baby is natural, and I'm
not sorry I'm pregnant. This is our world now, and everything is going to be ok.
You'll see, everything will be fine."

- 127 -

He squeezed me even tighter, almost as if he was holding onto me for dear life.

"Well, it has to be, because I can't lose you."

"You won't," I said confidently. I refused to let something as common as childbirth

separate us. I was going to be perfectly fine, and when it was over, we'd be parents
and I was beyond ecstatic.

I pulled back just enough to stretch up to kiss his lips, which he readily returned,

but the kiss didn't last nearly as long as I would have liked. "I really need to get back
to work," he said gently.

I huffed. "I told you, I'm not going out onto the ocean, so you're either going alone

or you're wasting your time."

He smiled halfheartedly. "You are so stubborn."

"Yes, I am."

He took a deep breath. "Well, if you refuse to leave then I certainly can't make

you."

"Thank you," I said relieved.

He kissed me again, and then gently moved me off of him before returning to his

work.

"Why are you still cutting logs and stripping vines if you're not making a boat

anymore?" I asked confused.

"Well, if we're going to raise a kid here, we're going to need a better house than a

little cave," he said with a smirk.

"You're going to make us a house?" I squealed excitedly. I suppose we should have

made a shelter a lot sooner, but with a baby on the way we never had more of a
reason to. "Can I help?"

"You can sit here with me and shred vines…but only if you're feeling up to it."

I smiled widely. "Of course I am; I feel great."

I was so excited by the idea of us building a house that I was almost giddy. We

weren't just making a temporary shelter; it was going to be a real home that our

- 128 -

baby would grow up in. It was a level of motivation that I had never felt before.

"What are you smiling about?" Edward asked me that evening when we finally

called it a night.

"Nothing," I said while smiling even bigger. "I'm just really excited. I think our

home is going to be incredible."

He smiled back at me, but it didn't reach his eyes… which was ok. I knew I

probably wouldn't see that twinkle that I had been so use to again for a while. He
was just too worried about the looming birth to really be the same enthusiastic
Edward that he was before. Once our baby was born and he saw how we're all ok, I
was sure that spark would return in his eyes.

"Hey, come here," I said while pulling him closer to me. He had been so distant

the last few days that I just needed to feel connected to him again. I kissed him
hungrily, but like before, he pulled away. "Do you not want to be with me anymore?"
I asked desperately.

"Having sex is how we got in this situation in the first place," he mumbled.

"Well, it's not like I can get pregnant again," I said jokingly, but he didn't take it as

a joke, in fact, it seemed as though once he realized I was right, it unleashed a fit of
desperation of his own.

He kissed me passionately, and it didn't take long for him to get both of our shorts

off.

"Tell me if I hurt you," he said in a rush. I nodded, so he got himself in position

and pushed into me with careful eagerness. Three days without sex was much too
long for us, and he was just as fervent for the connection as I was. But neither of us
really knew what the rule was for pregnancy sex, so we started out cautious…of
course, going so soft and slow was absolutely excruciating.

"Edward, faster," I panted. He reluctantly complied, but then he must have lost

control because a few pumps later all his inhibitions were gone as he pounded into
me like nothing had changed between us.

We had done different positions when we were feeling frisky and playful, but when

we were desperate the way we were that night, we found the standard missionary
position was most affective. I held on to him tightly as he continued his frenzied
thrusting.

- 129 -

"Are you ok?" he mumbled, short of breath.

"Yeah," I huffed back. I was fine as long as he didn't pull away before we were

finished.

It felt like it had been forever since the last time we were connected that way, and

like it had been forever, I took note of the amazing way his body felt while pressed
against mine. His lips were as soft as the inside of a conch shell, the skin on his back
was as smooth as an ocean polished stone, and I knew more than ever that we were
right where we belonged. The island was our own world, a small piece of heaven
without which I might never know the astonishing way we fit together so perfectly,
and I was suddenly overwhelmed by how blessed we truly were.

"Are you in pain?" Edward asked in a panic while freezing inside of me.

"No, I'm perfect," I murmured…at least I was until he stopped.

"Then why are you crying?" he asked gently.

"I'm just really…happy," I said honestly.

He smiled his first sincere smile in days, and then he kissed me tenderly before

giving back into our passion….

We spent the next several days building our house, and when it had four walls and

a palm leaf roof, we couldn't help but be proud of ourselves as we marveled at our
accomplishment.

"Wow," I said in awe. "I think it's beautiful."

"So far so good," Edward said, a little less thrilled.

"Oh, don't be so blasé. It's incredible."

We built it off the beach a few yards into the jungle, just to ensure the tide

wouldn't ruin the foundation, and looking at the tiny cottage in that way, almost
seemed as though it had grown from the tress itself. It was absolutely perfect.

Except when we went inside, the back wall fell over and the roof collapsed on top

of us.

- 130 -

"Well, that wasn't really planned," Edward said, completely stunned as we stood

there in shock.

I couldn't help but laugh. "At least we don't have to start over from the

beginning."

Thankfully, the wall was still intact so all we had to do was better secure it.

Edward decided it needed to be rooted, so he made a makeshift shovel and spent the
next few days digging down as deeply as he could, and buried the bottom of the
cottage. Since it was half underground, Edward got it in his head to add a second
story which he surprisingly figured out a way to make sturdy.

When the structure was finally complete for the second time, Edward went inside

first to make sure it was secure. It was even more beautiful than the first one, and
as he jumped around and pushed on the walls to test out the stability, I knew there
would be no more issues.

"Ok, I think it's safe," he said proudly. "I still have some interior work left to do,

but it's suitable to move into with the exception of one last thing."

"What's that?" I asked with a clueless grin.

He jumped off the second story deck he had built, which wasn't too high

considering half the house was underground, and then he ran off into the jungle
before reemerging with another wall….the same wall we had used to close off our
small cave.

"I figured we should keep this as a symbol of the beginning of our lives here," he

said while binding it to the opened door frame. Our first wall was now the door to
our future, and I couldn't imagine anything more perfect than that.

And, of course, the tears overtook me as I stood there watching him complete our

home. Damn hormones!

"What do you think?" he asked when he was finished.

"It's so amazing," I said like a blubbering idiot.

He smiled reassuringly and then wiped my tears with his fingers. "These are tears

of joy, right?"

"Of course they are."

- 131 -

"Good, then let me take you inside." He didn't give me time to reply; he just

scooped me into his arms and carried me in bridal style.

"Carrying me over the threshold, huh?" I giggled.

"Isn't that what a good husband does?"

"Well, as a good wife, I must be handy around the house and every inch of it needs

to be christened."

He nodded with a serious expression. "That's probably a good idea…. Just so we're

on the same page, by christened, you mean have sex, right?" he asked unsure.

I giggled again. "Yes."

"Ok, that's what I thought. Never really used that expression before, but I figured

that's what it meant. It's not like there's any priests here for the real definition of
the word." - There's my geeky innocent Edward that I love so much.

Before we could get around to christening the house, we took a few minutes to

really look around and think about where everything would go. The entire cottage
could probably fit inside my parent's living room, but compared to the cave, it was
huge which meant we would have space to have our bed as well as a living room
type lounging area.

"So, I figured when the baby is older, it could have the upstairs as its bedroom,"

Edward told me.

"That's a great idea," I said with a smile. The second floor was more of a loft than

a full floor, so when the baby was old enough to climb a ladder, it would make a
perfect bedroom – close enough to us, but still give him some space of his own.

Edward used a bunch of palm leaves wrapped together to make a bed for us,

which would probably feel dry and itchy under normal circumstances, but from what
we were used to in the cave, it was like sleeping on clouds.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked as we settled in our new bed for the night.

"Very," I said with a grin, though I wasn't really in the mood to be comfortable,

which he seemed to understand and agree with.

We made love that night and christened our new cottage, but the next morning

- 132 -

seemed to mark another new beginning…a new rounded beginning.

"Edward, look," I said when he got back from fishing for breakfast. I didn't have a

mirror, but I could feel my new protruding abdomen, which seemed to pop out
overnight. I rubbed my hand over my extended stomach to show what I was talking
about, which gave him a bittersweet expression. He looked just as in awe of it as I
was feeling, and yet it his eyes were clouded with even more anxiety than before.

He gently placed his hand on my tummy. "Can you feel it moving?"

I shook my head. "No. When my cousin had a baby, she didn't feel it move until a

while after she started showing."

He took a deep breath. "Wow, this really makes it more…real," he said nervously.

"We're going to be fine," I said reassuringly for the umpteenth time.

"I know…I just wish I had a handbook or something. I've always counted on books

for everything, and I just feel so vulnerable without them; like I'm just stumbling
through life."

"You've done amazing here so far," I argued.

"Yeah, 'cause it's all been stuff that I've already read about…stuff I'm comfortable

with."

"Ok, then let's talk about it so we'll be more prepared. First comes contractions,

which are like cramps, then wet stuff comes out….or does the wet stuff come out
first? And then I start pushing and you just have to catch the baby when it slides
out." – Seemed pretty simple to me.

"Then what?" he asked unexpectedly.

"Then the baby is here…what else is there?"

"Well, the cord needs to be tied off before its cut, and then the sack will come

out."

"Sack?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, the sack that the baby is in until it's born. It'll come out after the baby is

born so you'll have to be ready for that as well…."

- 133 -

The more Edward spoke, the more calm he seemed to become from realizing that

he knew much more than he had thought…of course I just got more nervous. I guess
I didn't pay all that much attention in those classes. But it didn't really matter.
Regardless of how difficult it was going to be, it would all be worth it once our little
miracle is in the world…

***A/N: Oh Bella, if only it was that simple - LOL

- 134 -

Moving Forward

Chapter 14 – Moving Forward

Being in a hospital was strange. I never really had a fear of hospitals per se, but

seeing all the buzzing machines and technology that went far beyond my intellect
was definitely daunting. Who was I kidding? I was absolutely terrified.

In addition to my fears, the artificial lights above were giving me a migraine. How

did people think straight under such conditions? Shouldn't a birth be in a more
tranquil setting? – I could only imagine how traumatic it would be for a baby to go
from a place that was warm and dark to such a cold and blindingly bright room like
that.

At seven centimeters dilated, the pain became too much and an anesthesiologist

was called in, which only scared me even more.

"Mom, I don't know if I can handle this," I said in a panic.

"Bella, you have to. Just take deep breaths; you'll be fine," Renee said soothingly.

But I didn't feel like I was going to be fine. I felt like I was going to pass out,

especially after the doctor came in to administer the pain medication. One look at
the needle and I felt like I was going to vomit.

"Bella, breathe," Renee said sharply.

"I'm ok," I tried convincing myself, but the moment the needle poked the skin,

everything went black.

….

"Bella," I heard a voice say gently. "Bella, wake up."

"I can't watch it," I whined, refusing to open my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I forced my eyes open, and was absolutely relieved

to see Edward smirking back at me. "Bad dream?" he asked.

I looked around, still slightly dazed, before finally shaking my head clear. I was

- 135 -

still inside our island cottage, nowhere near any hospitals.

"No, it wasn't a dream…Well it was, but not really; I was remembering

something." I sat up and rubbed my belly while recalling the vivid memory. "My
mom thought it would be a good experience if I witnessed my cousin giving birth. I
think she wanted to scare me into never wanting to do it," I said with a chuckle.

"But?" he asked, knowing there was definitely a but.

"But I only made it to her seventh centimeter because once the anesthesiologist

pushed the needle into her spine I fainted and missed the actual birth."

Edward stared at me in shock, and then broke down and started laughing. "Well,

you don't have to worry about needles here," he said between his hysterics.

"Good thing," I said seriously.

But then he became serious as well. "Bella, you do realize that the pain of giving

birth is going to be a lot worse than being poked by a needle."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Having a fear of needles is a normal thing. Even my

cousin said that was the worst part."

"She was probably joking."

"No, I don't think so, she seemed serious."

"And she gave birth while full of pain meds," he pointed out.

I rolled my eyes. "A lot of people pick to have a natural childbirth. I've broken my

arm, leg, several fingers, and I've been able to handle the pain of each."

Once again, he looked at me in shock. "Why the hell have you had so many broken

bones?"

I shrugged sheepishly. "I went through an awkward phase where I was a little

clumsy. It went on from when I was nine to around twelve."

"Being a little clumsy is accidently running into walls, not breaking bones," he

argued.

"I wasn't use to the icy conditions of Forks. I lived in Arizona before that, so I

- 136 -

never had to deal with it. I'd just run outside and slip on some ice and then…I guess
I was more than just a little clumsy," I admitted. "Once I got into dance and
cheerleading, I was able to keep better control of myself."

"But you still fell off that boat," he teased.

"Best fall I ever had," I said with a wink.

He shook his head. "You really are something else, do you know that?"

"Unfortunately, I do."

As my stomach grew, so did my desire to be more….domestic. I was constantly

working on my weaving, and I'd spend every free minute I had trying to make the
inside of the cottage absolutely perfect. I even made a bassinette which we hung
from the ceiling so it could rock the baby after it was born. Edward had tested it out
by putting rocks in it just to be sure it was safe, but we had other problems that
we'd need to figure out as well.

"What are we going to do about clothes?"

"Huh?" Edward asked confused. "We have clothes."

"Yeah, but what are we going to put the baby in? I mean, sure he can be naked

when he's little, but, you know, when he starts getting bigger he's going to want
something to cover himself."

"Oh…yeah, I guess I didn't think about the baby getting older. Yeah, we're going

to need something; maybe I should go looking for my shirt and we can try to make
something out of that."

"Well, our clothes are eventually going to wear out and rip as well. Maybe we

should try to make stuff…Sort of like this blanket," I said while holding up my
weaving.

"Seems like it may chafe," he said while scrunching his face.

"I think the more I work it in, the softer it'll get. We'll just have to make it work."

"You're the fashion designer."

- 137 -

I laughed once. "You know, I used to think that may be something I wanted to

do…be a designer." I shook my head. "I was such a moron."

"Why do you say that? There's nothing wrong with being a fashion designer," he

said encouragingly.

"No, it was stupid. I used to think all that crap was so important, but it's all

meaningless now."

"Now…here…But it would have been a good profession if we were back home.

They make a decent salary."

"Maybe...I just think I'm over all that stuff. In fact, the very thought of it all is

irritating."

"Can't really argue with you there."

….

By the time my bulge became a full, rounded belly, I had become a weaving pro

and our little home was full of my various blankets and such. They weren't warm
blankets or anything, but the smaller I made the dried palm strips and the tighter I
was able to weave them together, the more water resistant they became.

"What do you think?" I asked Edward with a proud grin.

He smiled widely. "Is that a diaper?"

I nodded. "I'm making a bunch of them. They're not going to be completely leak

proof, but I figured they'd give us enough time to clean the baby up without getting
it all over us."

"That's awesome….and they even have little ties on the side," he said while

examining it.

"Yeah, I made them from vine fibers; I figured they'd make it easier for quick

removal. Plus we have no way of knowing the exact size the baby will be so the ties
should make it work for all different sizes."

"See, you're way smarter than I am…I could never think of something like that."

I laughed. "No, I'm sure you'd just have the baby running around naked and

- 138 -

peeing and pooping all over the place. We'd constantly be covered in feces."

"You're probably right. But this is great 'cause it solves the clothes issue as well;

you'll just have to make bigger diapers as the kid grows."

"Diapers?" I challenged him. "Kids don't wear diapers."

"Diapers, clothes, same difference. It's going to cover their no nos, so it's the same

thing."

"No nos?" I said with another laugh.

"You know what I mean," he said with a huff.

"No nos, that's cute. Is that what your mom used to call privates?"

"Yeah," he admitted.

"Let me guess, you were always playing with it so your mom would say 'no, no'."

"Whatever, laugh it up. You're a girl so you don't know what it's like. If you had a

penis you wouldn't think it was so funny."

"But I do have a penis," I said suggestively before reaching over to grab his crotch

over his shorts.

"Hey," he said while blocking my hand. "You can't just take away my manhood and

claim my parts as your own."

"But they are my own. As your wife I own you and your parts," I said with mock

seriousness.

"You're right," he said after a moment. "I'm at your mercy."

I smiled widely, and then crawled over him, forcing him to lie on his back by doing

so. I leaned down and kissed him playfully, but then…..

"Oh my god, feel this," I said excitedly and grabbed his hand to place it on my

suddenly animated stomach.

"Whoa, was that?" he asked, at a loss for words.

- 139 -

"Our baby's moving…Do you feel it?"

He nodded, seemingly unable to speak at the moment.

It was a heavily emotional few minutes for both of us, and we just sat together in

an out of body daze from the gravity of it. It wasn't that feeling the baby made it
more real, but it was definitely just one step closer to becoming parents.

After a night of giggling from every little movement, Edward left early in the

morning but was back before I even got out of bed…and he had a surprise for me.

"Ugh. I'm not sure I want what you have," I semi-whined. None of his gifts ever

turned out badly, but I still had that moment of dread every time he brought me
something new. And since being pregnant, I wasn't sure I could stomach whatever
he wanted me to eat.

Except, that morning, he didn't have a new food item…

"Is that a…?"

"I've been working on this for a while now. I had to soak the twine in ocean water,

and then dry it for a few days before it would be hard enough to hold its shape," he
explained.

"Edward…it's a r-ring," I stuttered.

"Yeah, I figured, you know, we're having a baby and we're basically married

anyway…I mean, I know it's sort of a joke, but I thought…"

"I love it," I interrupted his rambling.

His island-made ring was made of dry hardened twine, which had been wrapped

intricately around a pearl. He obviously spent a lot of time on it, making it just right
so the pearl was secure, and it was honestly the most beautiful thing I had ever
seen.

"It fits," I said while wiping a tear off my cheek as he placed it on my finger.

"Yeah, I measured you while you were sleeping one night. Of course, I had to

factor in that drying the twine would make it smaller so I had to make those
adjustments." – God, I loved it when he got all brainy.

- 140 -

"Thank you," I said emotionally. "Not just for this, which is beautiful, but I've

never really thanked you for everything you've done for me. You saved my life…more
than once, and you forgave me for being such a bitch when you had no reason to.
I'm really afraid of what I would have become without you."

"You would have been absolutely fine," he said while wrapping his arms around

me tenderly. "You have always had a good heart, and you would have realized it with
or without me."

"No, see you're wrong….My heart only became good because of you."

"When will you ever see yourself clearly?" he said with his crooked smile that I

loved so much. He leaned in and kissed me sweetly, before rubbing my belly and
humming loud enough for the baby to hear through my skin.

"Mmm, I love when you hum," I murmured.

"Really?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah, you're really good at it. It really calms me too."

"Well, that's good to know – I'll make sure to hum for you when you're huffing

through labor pains," he said with a laugh.

"Good, I hope you do," I said sincerely. I was planning to come up with a snarky

comeback, but I honestly did love when he hummed and I really thought it may help
during that time.

"Then I will," he said softly, catching on to my serious mood. He was looking so

intensely into my eyes that I nearly forgot to breathe, and then suddenly I was
ravenous.

"I think we need to have sex now," I said seriously.

"Yeah, definitely," he agreed in a husky voice.

Our sex life hadn't faltered since my pregnancy, but my larger stomach did make

it a little more difficult so we had to become creative with our positioning.

I climbed onto his lap, and desperately planted my lips to his. We couldn't get our

shorts off fast enough, and he was obviously just as ready as I was. He grabbed my
bare hips with his hands, and guided me over him before pulling me down on his

- 141 -

length.

There was no greater feeling in the world than when he filled me completely in

those first few moments each time we made love. It was even better than the
orgasm itself, and perhaps had nothing to do with the physicality of sex. It was
about fully connecting and the feeling of being complete; as if without him I was
missing a limb or a vital organ. It was almost like I stopped breathing every time we
were apart, and the moment he was inside me again it was a sharp intake of
precious air into my lungs. Having him inside me was a drink in the desert, an
umbrella in the rain, or even a pillow to lie on after a tiring day. It was a relief in an
odd way, and I wondered if that feeling would ever go away – I hoped it didn't.

After another moment passed, Edward used his grip on my hips to lift me up, and

then pull me right back down onto him. I began moving, taking the work onto myself
but he could never yield the control completely, which was perfectly fine by me - sex
was always the best when we were both able to contribute to the cadence of our
motions. But to intensify the feeling even further, he brought his hands inward and
began rubbing achingly glorious little circles on my sensitivity with his thumbs.

"Oh Edward," I moaned, though I wasn't sure if the words were intelligible. I could

feel it building, the tightening in my stomach that spread through my entire body.

"Bella," he huffed gruffly, and I knew exactly what he wanted; what he needed. So

I forced myself off of him, and then rolled over onto my side so he could finish by
pounding into me from behind. It was something I had almost come to expect since
my stomach had gotten in the way of our simpler positions. He didn't always ask me
to roll over in that way, but sometimes he just couldn't stay pinned underneath me –
the feeling was so intense that he needed to thrust through it.

After our position change, it wasn't long before I couldn't hold on anymore and I

erupted into a fit of sizzling warmth that completely devoured me. His grip
tightened on my hips as he stiffened with a grunt, and then we both relaxed in a
languid pool of afterglow bliss before he finally pulled out of me.

And like always after we had sex, he asked "Are you ok?"

I smiled widely. "Oh yeah."

It was such a silly question because how could I not be ok after something like

that, but at the same time, I loved hearing it because it was just one more way that
he showed how much he cared about me.

- 142 -

He kissed my hair and wrapped his arms around me securely, and we just laid

there and spooned for hours. Having nothing to do really had its perks, especially in
amazingly lazy times like that.

As the months rolled on, our bond and closeness only grew. In fact, we became so

close that I honestly couldn't remember what my life was like before him. Was I even
alive before coming to the island? I found it hard to believe. I must have been a
hallow shell before Edward filled me both physically and emotionally, and I was so
grateful for my sudden bout of clumsiness that made me fall off that boat that day.
Everything before that moment was a blur, and everything after was the path I
needed to take to truly come alive. In a way, I felt like a new born – looking at the
world like a new place, just as my baby soon would be. We'd grow up together; the
three of us would make our world exactly the way it should be.

"How much longer, do you think?" I asked one evening as we laid in our bed and

felt the baby move from inside me.

"I'm not sure. It just keeps getting bigger," he said with a chuckle. "Are you

getting tired of it?"

"No, I love having him inside of me, but I am getting a bit…uncomfortable."

He took a deep breath. Edward always seemed to take a deep breath anytime I

mentioned the baby being born, and I knew it was because he was still so nervous.
But he was staying strong because he knew that was what I needed him to be. He
was my strength, and he needed to stay in control for all three of our sakes.

"You know what?" I said, thinking of something. "We haven't picked out a name

yet."

"We don't technically need a name for him. I mean, it's not like he's going to

school or living in a society where a name is important. We could just call him Baby,
and when he gets older we'll call him Kid. 'Hey honey, where's the kid?'- I think that
would work."

I stared at him incredulously.

"Babe, I'm kidding," he said with a laugh.

"Har har," I said, trying to keep my glare but smirking despite myself. "Seriously

- 143 -

though, we need to think of a name. We have no idea how much longer until it's
born and this is the only thing left we haven't done."

"Ok, so what name do you like?"

"I don't know…Do you have any ideas?"

He shrugged. "How about Alistair? That's cool."

I scrunched my face. "I don't like that."

"Ok, you pick something."

"How about…Garrett?" I suggested.

"Garrett? No way, how could he ever show his face around the island with a name

like that? All the birds will make fun of him. 'Garrett the carrot' and stuff like that."

I shook my head at him. "Fine, it's your turn to suggest something."

"Um…how about Benjamin, like you know, after Benjamin Franklin."

I thought about it for a moment. "I actually kind of like Benjamin. We could call

him Benny."

"Op, that one's out!" he said quickly.

"Why, you don't like Benny?"

"No way, it sounds like something you would name a pet."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh Edward," I said with a sigh. And then – "That's it! Edward."

"What?" he said confused.

"Edward Jr. and we can call him EJ. AWW, that's so perfect!" - And like a sign, the

baby kicked right at that moment. "See? You like that name, don't you EJ?" I asked
my stomach while rubbing it.

Edward didn't look too thrilled about naming the baby after him, but by that point

I had already fallen in love with the idea so he accepted because he knew just how
much I wanted it. He really was the sweetest person in the world.

- 144 -

"Well, we need a girl name too," he said, trying to get off the 'EJ' topic.

I was convinced we were having a boy so a girl's name wasn't really necessary,

but just to humor him, I threw out some ideas. "Jane."

"No, that's the name of a doll or something," Edward said. "How about Victoria?"

"Ew, I've always hated that name. I think that since we decided on a meaningful

name for a boy, we should do the same for a girl."

"Bella Junior, and we can call her BJ," Edward said mockingly.

"No," I said after pretending to think about it seriously. "BJ isn't a good name for

teenagers."

"Not that that matters here," Edward said under his breath.

I shook my head again. "Still don't like it. Besides my name is Isabella so that

would be IJ and that doesn't sound right."

"Your name is Isabella?" he asked surprised.

"You didn't know that?"

"No…Wow, I guess that sucks of me. I didn't even know your real name."

"Well, I don't know your middle name."

"It's Anthony – Well, Anthony Masen."

"You have two middle names?" I asked confused.

"No, well, kind of. My dad's last name was Masen, but then my grandma

remarried when he was little and they both took her husband's name Cullen."

"Oh, so they decided to hyphenate your last name?"

"Well, my dad's name was Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, so I was named after

him."

"So…our baby would be the third?" I asked.

- 145 -

Edward nodded.

"Can we still call him EJ if he's not technically a junior?"

"We can do whatever you want," Edward said carelessly.

"Ok, good," I said excited again. But all the talk about his dad gave me an idea.

"What's your mom's full name?"

"Esme Elizabeth Cullen. Why?"

"Well, my mom's name is Renee Marie Swan, so maybe we can like, combine their

names somehow for a girl's name. Esme Renee Cullen."

"Not a fan of my mom's name," Edward said honestly. "I don't think I could ever

call my kid Esme."

"Ok, how about Renee Esme Cullen….No, that doesn't sound right either. Hmmm,

how about smushing them together….Renesmee. Oh, I like that!"

"Maybe we should just wait and think about it for a while before we decide on

anything," Edward said carefully.

"You don't like it?" I asked disappointedly. "Too weird?"

"No, I think Rapunzel is fine, I'm just…"

"It's Renesmee," I corrected him. "Like Renee and Esme combined."

"Oh, that's what I meant. I think its fine; whatever you want is fine. I mean, we

can always think of a nick name. Ren, May, Nes."

I stared at him for a minute in disgust. I still liked Renesmee, but if he was going

to give our baby a nick name like one of those then there was no way I'd ever want
to name her that.

I shook my head at him and figured that deciding on a girl's name wasn't all that

important because I was so sure it was going to be a boy.

The days dragged on, and when my walking had turned into waddling, I seriously

had enough.

- 146 -

"Come on EJ, don't you want to come out soon?" I'd often asked my stomach.

"Let's just let him come out when he's ready," Edward would reply nervously. I

knew he was scared, and truthfully, I was beginning to be as well, but I still couldn't
wait. I was uncomfortable and ached all over, not to mention the fact that I didn't
even feel like having sex anymore, which was a major blow to me. Edward was fine
and supportive about it, but I just wanted to reclaim my body as my own and I
honestly missed making love to him.

There were times when I felt like I had been pregnant for far too long, but other

times, when the baby was moving around inside of me, I felt so much love that I
wanted to keep him inside me forever. But when my water finally did break, I
realized just how naïve I had been about the entire thing….

- 147 -

Faces

A/N: Wow, overwhelming hate for the name Renesmee. Well, I do have to say that

I planned the baby's name before I even published the first chapter, so I wasn't able
to take your opinions into consideration. Sorry…I hope you're not all disappointed -
Read on to find out ;)

Chapter 15 – Faces

"Oh, it's not so bad. See, I told you I could handle it," I said smugly as I breathed

through the first few contractions.

"I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but I think you've got a long way to go,"

Edward replied gently.

"I've got this," I said confidently, except I should have known that Edward was

right; Edward was always right. "SHIIIT! That one hurt," I said an hour or so later.
The contractions definitely didn't feel like period cramps, they were a whole hell of a
lot worse.

Edward's face had gone from scared shitless, to fixed in a determined hard mask -

he was focused on the task at hand, and he wasn't going to let his fears get in the
way of what needed to be done. He was as prepared as he could possibly be with our
limited resources on the island; he had his Swiss Army knife, which he sterilized
ahead of time by burning, and he already laid out one of my handmade blankets.

"Why don't you try getting in the water," he suggested after another insanely

intense contraction made me scream out a string of profanities.

We decided it would be best to stay by the lagoon while the baby was being born,

that way we'd have the water close by when we needed it.

"Do you think that would help?" I asked desperately.

"I don't know, try it."

"Come in with me!" I demanded.

"Ok."

- 148 -

We got into the water but made sure to stay in the shallow area, and thankfully, it

actually did help. The pain was still there, but it took the edge off and made it so I
could relax between contractions. Edward held me up while I leaned on him for
support, but the longer the pain lasted for, the less I was able to keep control of my
emotions.

"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?" I screamed out at him irrationally. I couldn't

think straight and my entire body felt like it was being shredded from the inside out.

"Oww, you're breaking my hand," Edward said quietly while I squeezed his hand.

But I wasn't sorry about hurting him; if I was hurting, he should be too.

During my pain induced delusions, I was pissed at the entire world. I hated

Edward for getting me pregnant, and I wished more than anything that that stupid
snake would have just killed me. But those feelings didn't last long, because an even
greater feeling consumed me...

"Ok, I think you're just about ready to push him out," Edward said, much more

calmly than I ever expected from him. He helped me out of the water to get into a
better position for the birth, but the pain just intensified. "When you feel like
pushing, go ahead and push."

"No, I can't," I said weakly, feeling completely defeated.

"Bella, you can! You are so much stronger than you think you are. You can do this,

you have to."

"I really can't," I cried.

"Think about the baby, do it for him!" Edward said sternly. It was a tone he rarely

used, but it was definitely one that demanded compliance, which was exactly what I
needed to do at that moment. I needed to do what he was telling me; I had to get a
hold of myself and remember why I was going through all that pain. I was bringing
our baby into the world, and I couldn't give up or feel sorry for myself. Our baby
needed me, and I would not fail him.

"I need to push now," I said, trying to control myself.

"Ok. Bella, look at me," he said quickly. "I'm here. I won't let anything happen to

you, ok?"

I nodded. Of course he was there for me, he had been there for me since the very

- 149 -

beginning and I knew he always would be. We were a team, and even though I was
the one giving birth, I didn't have a doubt that he was going through just as much of
emotions as I was. Suddenly a wave of calm came over me, and I was right back to
knowing for certain that everything was going to be fine. The pain didn't matter. I
could think around it, and I was able to keep focused on what needed to be done.

So I began to push.

The next several pushes were a blur. It could have lasted only seconds, or perhaps

hours, and everything seemed to be going in slow motion. I could vaguely see
Edward's face when he would talk to me, but the next thing I knew, the pain was
gone and Edward was looking down at something in his arms.

"Bella, you did it," he said with a tone I never heard from him before. It was a mix

of relief and absolute joy…he may have even been crying, I wasn't sure.

But I was sure that I was crying - I was absolutely bawling as he put the baby in

my arms. It was all gooey and screaming bloody murder, and the single most
beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"Oh, look at him," I said through my tears.

"Bella…it's a girl," Edward said so softly that I almost didn't hear him.

Strangely enough, my first reaction was - "Of course you're a girl." It almost felt as

if I always knew she was a girl, and I vaguely wondered why I had been calling her a
'him'. "She's so beautiful."

"Just like her momma," Edward said sweetly.

He began messing with something between my legs, but I wasn't paying attention;

I couldn't take my eyes off of her perfect little face… except, for whatever reason,
my eyes began to close without my permission and I was suddenly swallowed by the
darkness.

Passing out seemed to be a recurring thing with me since being on the island, but

this time it was unacceptable. How could I just fall asleep like that?

When I opened my eyes again, Edward was looking down at me full of relief.

"Bella, thank god."

- 150 -

"Sorry, I must have fallen asleep," I said groggily.

"You didn't fall asleep, Bella you lost a lot of blood and fainted."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"God, I wasn't sure you were ever going to wake up again. I can't believe I almost

lost you like that."

"What? No, I'm fine, I feel pretty good actually, just a little tired."

"You've been asleep for hours."

"Oh no! I was holding the baby, did I drop her?" I asked in a panic.

"No, she's fine…Hungry, but absolutely perfect."

"Where is she, I don't hear her?"

"She's sleeping, but if you're feeling up to it, we need to try to feed her." He

moved to get the baby, and I couldn't help but watch him. He held her so gently, and
yet he looked like he had been doing it for years. Her little body seemed to fit so
perfectly in his arms, and the sight of it made me cry again. "Can you hold her? I
need to get you a drink," he asked while placing her on my chest.

"I'm not thirsty," I said, though as the words were coming out I realized just how

dry my mouth and throat were.

"You won't be able to give her what she needs if you don't get what you need,"

Edward told me while putting his leaf cup up to my lips.

I drank slowly, but was glad when I was done because I just wanted to memorize

my baby's little features. She was still sleeping peacefully, but her little heart
shaped lips were set in a pucker and every once in a while she'd suck on her tongue.
Her skin was pink, she had the cutest little button nose, and her head was full of
dark curls. She was wrapped in one of my blankets, but Edward moved it away so
we could be skin to skin, and I was in complete and utter awe of her.

"Edward," I whispered emotionally. "Look what we made."

He smiled adoringly. "She's incredible."

- 151 -

But us talking seemed to have woken her up, because then she started making

noises and she actually turned her head towards me as if she knew I was her food
source.

"She's hungry," I said nervously. I always thought breastfeeding was odd, but

while marooned on an island without bottles we didn't have room for 'odd'. I held
her up to my breast and hoped she'd know what to do. Thankfully, her instincts
kicked in and she latched right on. "It's working."

"Thank god," Edward whispered. The relief on his face was immeasurable; we

survived, all three of us were going to be ok, which was all that mattered. "I had no
idea how I was going to feed her if you didn't wake up soon."

"She's clean," I noticed, trying my best to ignore how uncomfortable her nursing

was. I really wasn't expecting nursing to be painful, but man, my nipple was already
hurting so I decided to move her to the other breast.

"Yeah, I tried to rinse her off in the lagoon a little… She didn't like it very much; I

think she may have gotten cold. I felt bad 'cause she ended up crying herself to
sleep."

"Aww," I said while stroking her little hand.

"She seems pretty happy now though," he mused. "I guess she just wanted her

momma."

"She probably just wanted to eat," I said with a giggle.

"How are you feeling…really?" he asked, suddenly concerned again.

"Haven't you learned by now that I bounce back quickly?"

He snorted. "Yeah, I guess you do."

"Besides, there's no time to be sick or even weak, we have to make sure she gets

everything she needs….Including a name."

"I thought you wanted Rap...Reneeezemay," he said, having a hard time

remembering the name I made up."

"Renesmee," I said with a laugh. "But no, I changed my mind. It's just too weird."

- 152 -

"Well, we do live on an island, so weird works," he argued feebly. He obviously

wasn't trying to convince me to pick that name, but he was being supportive either
way.

"No, but I still wish we could think of a way to name her after our moms. I like

names that mean something; I mean, I have my mom's middle name so…so….I really
want her to have my middle nametoo," I said as it suddenly become clear. "My
middle name is Marie like my mom's, so I want her to carry that tradition too."

He nodded. "Ok, her middle name is Marie then, but she still needs a first name."

"What if we kept with the middle name theme and had her first name be your

mom's middle name."

"Elizabeth?"

"Yeah. I always liked that name….as long as you don't call her Lizzy. People used

to call me Izzy and I hated that."

"Ok, no Lizzy. But you're sure you like Elizabeth?"

I nodded. "Elizabeth Marie….Masen Cullen."

"Or we can go Elizabeth Marie Swan Masen Cullen," he offered.

I shook my head. "I think its long enough as it is. Elizabeth Marie Cullen….Wow, I

love it, but it sure is a mouth full."

"What if we just called her…Em," Edward said unexpectedly.

"Em?"

"Yeah, her initials are E M, so Em for short."

"Em…" I looked down at her and I swore she stopped sucking long enough to look

up at me, and she almost seemed like she was smiling. "She's definitely an Em," I
said with a warm fuzzy feeling spreading though out my entire body. Em was just
who she was, it wasn't even a choice anymore.

Of course her name would always be Elizabeth Marie Cullen, but by living on the

island, I wasn't sure how much we'd ever use her full name. Em was Em, and that's
what she'd end up answering to.

- 153 -

My blood loss didn't slow me down for long; by the time Em was three days old, I

was already feeling close to my old self again. Edward and I had adjusted to
parenthood rather easily. Sure, we were up every three hours at night, but Em was
an easy going baby and would always go right to sleep after she was fed.

It wasn't like we ever had anywhere we needed to be, so when she slept we slept,

and when she was awake we were up and going about our usually daily routine.
Edward fished and collected fruit, and I continued to weave whenever Em didn't
mind being laid down on one of my blankets. My woven diapers also worked just
fine, but Edward and I still had been peed on multiple times, not that either of us
really minded. We were just so serenely happy being together as a family that a little
pee could never get us down.

As the weeks passed by, Em braided herself so intricately with us that I almost

forgot what we ever did before her.

"So…want to go for a walk?" Edward asked me one afternoon.

"Ok," I said with a smile. I picked up Em and held her up on my shoulder, but

Edward had a different idea.

"I thought we could use your shirt as a baby sling," he said while ripping it and

tying it in a way that Em would be secured against me.

"That's a great idea," I said impressed. "But you just ripped my only shirt."

He shrugged. "You never wear it. Besides, you still have your bra around here

somewhere."

"True," I agreed. He helped me into my shoes, and then I curiously looked down at

his feet. "What happened to your shoes?"

"Well I had to cut them so my feet would fit. I've grown since being here," he

explained. "I did it a while ago, you just now noticed?"

"Yeah, I guess I never paid attention to your feet."

"I would just hike barefoot, but I'm not sure about walking around without

protection in the jungle…By the way, maybe you could work on weaving some kind
of foot protection of some sort. Em's definitely going to need something when she
starts walking."

- 154 -

"Oh, good thinking," I said as we started our walk. "So, what sprouted this?" I

asked, in reference to his sudden desire to trek through the jungle.

"Well, I was out fishing on the reef, and I just glanced back at the cliff and saw

something interesting. I wanted to check it out but there's no way I'm leaving you
two alone."

"What?" I asked, playfully offended. "Why?"

"Every time I leave you…even for a few hours, something always happens to make

me regret it."

I was about to dispute his comment, but then I realized he was right. Regardless

of his reasoning behind it however, I was happy to be on the walk with him. It felt
really good to get away from the cottage and off the beach…though, his little walk
was turning into more of a hike than I would have liked.

"Edward, where are we going?"

"I think we're almost there. Do you want me to take Em?"

"No, she's fine; the sling really works great, but she is going to get hungry soon

and I really don't want to be walking while feeding her."

"We can take a break whenever you want," he said with a heart stopping grin. And

that was the moment it happened; looking at his adorable face and achingly sexy
body all covered in sweat, my hormones jump started and got me thinking about sex
again. God, I wanted him. If we weren't in a jungle with potentially hazardous plants
and creatures around, I would just lay Em down and show Edward exactly the way I
was feeling.

But he must have misunderstood the look of desire I was giving him, because he

suddenly seemed nervous. "Do you want to feed her now, or should we keep going
for a while?" he asked uneasily.

"Um…she's still sleeping so we can keep going until she wakes up."

"Ok," he said, and then walked ahead a few feet as if he didn't want me too close

to him.

But I wasn't going to put up with any kind of weird behavior or strain between us;

we had come way too far for that. "Hey, what's wrong with you?" I asked.

- 155 -

"What? Nothing is wrong with me. Why?"

"You just seem….weird."

"Well, you were giving me that look."

"What look?" I asked innocently, but I couldn't help but smile because I actually

knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Oh, you know what look. That look where you don't care where we are or what

we're doing 'cause all you want to do is have sex. Yeah, I know that look from you,
and it's not going to happen."

I huffed. "I'm not a moron; I know we can't just have sex right here and now. We

don't have a safe place to put Em."

"We're not going to have sex when we get back either," he said unexpectedly.

"Why not?" I asked confused. We had messed around a few times since Em was

born, but we hadn't had actual intercourse yet and I thought he was just waiting for
me to tell him I was feeling up to it. But now he was acting like he never wanted to
have sex again, which was seriously upsetting me. Was he not attracted to me
anymore? Perhaps watching our daughter being born killed his desire for me, or
maybe it was seeing the afterbirth. Whatever the reason, I suddenly felt
self-conscious and insecure.

"Bella, Em was just born a few weeks ago…"

"But I feel good; completely back to normal," I tried assuring him. Was he just

worried that it was too soon? – I really hoped that was all it was.

"Even so," he said unexpectedly. "I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Like, not a good idea for a little while longer, or not a good idea ever?"

"Ever," he said quietly.

I could feel my eyes prickle and my nose tingle, but I refused to let myself cry.

"So, you just…don't want me anymore?" I asked, no louder than a whisper. I rubbed
Em's back for moral support.

"What? No," he said quickly. "Bella, of course I want you. I want you so freaking

- 156 -

bad all the time that it drives me insane. Trust me; I have had a hard time thinking
about anything else. It's not easy going from having sex all the time to…not, but we
have to be rational about this."

"Rational?" I asked confused. I mean, I was relieved that he still wanted me, but I

just didn't understand why he thought we couldn't.

"We don't have any form of birth control here. We can't just keep having kids."

I thought about it for a minute, and then asked "Why not?"

"Bella, jeeze, would you listen to yourself!" he whisper-yelled, trying not to wake

Em. "Have you already forgotten how much pain you were in, or the fact that you
almost bled to death."

"I'm fine…I was fine," I tried calming him.

He huffed, and then spun around himself completely exasperated before turning

back to me and running his hands through his overgrown hair.

"Almost time for another haircut," I said casually, changing the subject.

But Edward wasn't done with our conversation just yet. "Bella, I want to have sex

with you; God knows that I do, but we can't….I can't put you through that again."

"But we can't just spend the rest of our lives here and never have sex again," I

said incredulously.

"We can do other things," he tried reasoning. "How about…we can have sex when

you're on your period."

"That's gross," I said frustrated. "And I love being spontaneous; that's one of the

best parts of being alone on this island."

"Well, we're not alone on this island anymore," he pointed out. "Come on, do you

really think we can just have sex when ever and where ever still? We have a baby
now, who's going to be a kid soon so we can't just have sex any time we want."

"Maybe we can't be completely spontaneous, but not having sex at all…or just

period sex, is out of the question. We want to be together and we're young, so
there's no reason to be abstinent….but we can be careful, if you want. You can pull
out or we can try to keep track of my cycles and just not have sex when we think I'm

- 157 -

ovulating."

"It's not a sure thing," he said mechanically.

"No, but it's better than nothing. And if I get pregnant again, then we'll be fine

again."

"I can't lose you. We've taken too many risks already."

"And we've always ended up ok. As long as we stay together, everything will be

fine," I said gently. "Besides, wasn't there something about breastfeeding being a
natural birth control?"

He thought about it. "I'm not sure…but I guess that would make sense on a

hormone level."

"There, see?" I said with a smile. "We don't have to worry about it for awhile, and

when she's done nursing we'll figure out the cycle timing thing." I reached up on my
toes to kiss him, which he responded by kissing me passionately back…but then, of
course, Em chose that moment to wake up and want to eat.

"Ok, baby," I said with a giggle.

Edward didn't make any promises, but I was pretty certain that I had put forth a

good enough argument and he'd cave. The thought made me giddy with anticipation.

When I was done feeding Em, we strapped her back to me and continued with our

hike.

"We've got to be almost there. I saw the thing from the reef," Edward told me.

"What is it exactly we're looking for again?" I asked, though at that point I really

didn't care. I was just eager to be done with our hike so we could get back to our
cottage and I could find even more ways to convince him that our sex life needed to
continue…starting with that night.

"I'm not really sure," he said strangely.

We walked a little ways further, and then we finally saw it…

"What. Is. That?" I asked him in shock.

- 158 -

"I really don't know," he said absently.

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" I yelled at him when he reached out towards the thing.

Edward didn't even argue, he just pulled his hand back without another word.
"Please tell me I'm not really seeing what I think I'm seeing," I said, though I wasn't
sure if that was a rhetorical question or not.

"I…I…I'm not sure what we're looking at," he said honestly. "It's a…face."

"But it's just a random rock formation and our minds are playing tricks on us

though, right? I mean, weren't you the one who said the island can make us insane?"

Edward scratched his head and then began to walk a circle around the object, but

of course I grabbed his arm and followed him - there was no way I was going to let
him out of my sight, even if only for a few moments.

The rock formation was about ten feet tall and looked like a giant head complete

with eyes, a nose, and even lips. Of course, I was still convinced we were only
imagining it.

"It almost looks like a native tribal god statue," Edward said curiously.

"But there's no one else on this island…right?"

"No. I've hiked around the entire thing several times. No one else is here, but they

must have been at some time." He shrugged. "Maybe this is some ancient
prehistoric place, or something."

"What if people come back here from time to time," I asked nervously.

"We've been here for over a year at least. We would have seen them coming and

going."

A year?

"Have we really only been here a year?" I mused. It felt like much longer.

"Plus or minus," he said while still examining the rock.

"How do you know?"

"Well, how many periods did you have before we realized you were pregnant?"

- 159 -

"Um…three…or four, I don't remember exactly."

"And pregnancies usually last for nine months, so I'm estimating that we've been

here for just over a year…plus or minus."

"Huh," I said, slightly bitter -he made telling time sound so simple. "Yeah, I guess I

didn't really think about it."

"If people were coming to the island to…worship this, we would have seen them

by now. I really think this is just some…old thing that someone made centuries ago
and has long since been forgotten."

I nodded. "Ok, well, let's leave it be then," I said, still eager to get back to the

cottage to reconnect.

He laughed. "Ok, lets go."

***A/N:My regular readers KNOW I would never name a human baby

Renesmee, even Stephenie Meyer herself said Renesmee was a name for a
supernatural hybrid and she wouldn't name a real child that, so there you
go.

Anyway, I usually name their daughter Carlie because I like using canon names,

but since this is also Blue Lagoon, I thought Em was very fitting because that was
the name of Brooke Shields' character in the original movie.

-Hope you like it, and if not, well its already written so just deal with it! LOL

Spoiler Alert! – Anyone else sensing more big changes on the horizon? :o

- 160 -

Over the Water

Chapter 16 – Over the Water

"Edward, look!" I called to him. I was sitting in the shallows of the lagoon with

Em, and I was blowing in her face so she'd hold her breath, before gently
submerging her under water.

"You're teaching her how to swim," Edward said amazed.

"Well I told you I used to teach kids how to swim. The babies were always my

favorite class."

Edward swam over to us and I showed him what to do, so our little family spent

some time playing and splashing in the water.

"She's going to be a better swimmer than both of us combined," Edward said with

a huge grin.

"She's going to be better than us at everything," I told him. "Island life is all she'll

ever know."

And Em was remarkable. It seemed like she was just so tiny and helpless one day,

and the next she was smiling, holding herself up, and grabbing at everything. She
was naturally curious, and she had an entire island to play on and explore.

"Look Em," Edward said excitedly one morning. He was supposed to be fishing,

but he came back dripping wet and without any fish. It seemed his gift giving had
spread to her, which I was more than happy about.

"Whoa, what did daddy bring you?" I said in my eager baby voice.

Em had just started babbling, and she definitely liked what he had because she

began talking to it. It was a tiny starfish which was very much alive, and when it
started moving in Edward's hand, Em's chocolate brown eyes widened making us
both laugh.

"Is she scared?" I asked after a minute.

"Nah, I think she just wasn't expecting it to move and it surprised her," Edward

- 161 -

replied. "Do you like it, Em?" he asked her sweetly.

But then suddenly Em grabbed the starfish from Edward, and brought it right to

her mouth.

"No!" Edward and I shouted said at the same time. Em looked at us shocked by

our outburst, and her entire face dropped before she started wailing.

"Oh, baby we didn't mean to yell at you," I said gently, trying to calm her down.

Edward threw the starfish into the waves, and then looked at me sheepishly. "I

didn't think she'd try to eat it," he whispered apologetically.

I smiled and shook my head at him.

I didn't think she'd try to eat it either, but we both should have assumed that she

would because she had been trying to eat everything lately. She still wanted to
nurse, but it seemed whenever Edward and I were eating anything, she'd try to grab
it out of our hands and to put it into her own mouth. She was close to crawling, so
Edward and I were getting worried about her being mobile and eating things she
shouldn't. As of then, we had to pull rocks, shells, leaves, sticks, sand, and even my
hair out of her mouth, and I had a feeling it was only going to get worse.

But taking the starfish from her had upset her more than she had been in a while,

and my gentle back rub and cooing wasn't calming her, so that meant it was daddy's
turn.

Edward took her from me and held her close while humming my favorite tune into

her ear, which made me practically melt right then and there. There was little in life
that I loved more than watching Edward with our daughter. He was a natural, and I
was so grateful that Em was lucky enough to have him as a father. And of course she
calmed immediately - how could she not while being held and hummed to like that.

When he was confident that she was in a better mood, he brought her over to the

waves and pointed out birds flying over the water. Em loved birds, and we loved
pointing them out to her.

Later on that evening, after we put her into her daddy-made crib for the night,

Edward and I snuggled into our bed together and just enjoyed the peace for a few
minutes.

"You know, she's not going to want to nurse much longer," Edward said after a

- 162 -

while.

"That's fine by me," I replied casually. "Fish and fruit are soft enough for her

anyway, she'll be fine."

"Yeah, but no more nursing means no more natural birth control," he said

suggestively.

"Oh."

Our sex life had come back full force after we talked about it on that hike, and it

seemed like it was all going as planned, but he was right, we'd need a different plan
when Em was done nursing. She was already slowing down, so I was worried my
body might get confused and start wanting to make babies again.

I bit my bottom lip. "Maybe you should try pulling out?" I suggested, but I really

hated that idea. It would mean we'd never be able to fully let go and enjoy ourselves
properly if he was constantly worried about ejaculating inside me. "I think once I
start ovulating normally again, we should be able to figure it out. I mean, there's
only like, a few days a month that I can get pregnant, right?"

"I guess, but we've never really done a good job of keeping track of the days," he

pointed out.

"Hey, didn't they used to use sheep skin as a condom in the olden days? Maybe we

can skin a snake or something?"

He looked at me with a goofy expression. "You want me to put a snake skin on my

dick while I have sex with you?"

I shrugged.

"Wow, where's that freaked out Bella I knew from before?"

"She got horny," I said straight faced.

But he laughed. "I guess so. But, even if I was willing to do something that

disgusting, I doubt it would work. Snake skin is much thinner than sheep skin, and it
would probably leak."

"Ok. Well maybe we should rethink the whole 'making a boat' thing," I semi joked.

"I mean, if you're not willing to have sex with me anymore, we may as well try to get

- 163 -

off this island and back to a place that has birth control."

He laughed. "Oh my Bella, always thinking with your vagina."

"Whatever. I guess you're just going to have to find different places to stick it until

we get the Rhythm Method down…or we can just have more babies."

"The Rhythm Method?" he asked surprised. "Wow, something you actually

remembered from Sex Ed."

"You know, one day I'm going to get tired of you making fun of me," I joked.

"Then what? You won't speak to me unless you're horny?"

"Maybe."

"Well I guess we'll be speaking all the time then, so it won't be any different then

now."

"Hey, jerk," I said playfully before pinching his arm.

"Ow, you really should control your temper; I may have to report you for spousal

abuse," he whined.

"Oh really?" I asked while poking his ribs and making him squirm. "Who's going to

punish me?"

"I will. I'm not only the mistreated husband, but I'm the law in these here parts as

well."

"Ok sheriff, what's my punishment?" I said, giggling in spite of how serious I was

trying to sound.

"I may just throw you to the sharks."

I pretended to think about it. "No, you wouldn't do that; you enjoy the abuse too

much."

"I do like to be punished," he admitted.

I smiled sadistically before rolling over on top of him and straddling his waist. I

pulled down his shorts and then shimmied out of mine before hovering over him. He

- 164 -

was already waiting for me, so I took him in my hand and stroked it a few times
before positioning myself over him, and sinking down slowly.

His head fell back as he enjoyed the sensation, but I couldn't help looking down

between us. I loved the way we looked attached like that, and seeing it just added to
my arousal. His hands ran up my thighs towards my hips, and then he gripped on
intending to start upward thrusts, but he did say he liked to be punished so I was
definitely not going to let him move.

I pushed his hands away and then leaned forward to brace myself on his chest. I

smiled down at him, and then began to move. He bucked his hips, but I pushed down
against him.

"Punishment, remember," I whispered, knowing how badly he wanted to move.

He grinned, but he didn't speak – I was fairly certain he couldn't even if he wanted

to.

I moved on him slowly, then faster, then slower again. I moved my hips in circles

and back and forth, all the while he looked to be in blissful agony. But the erotic
expression on his face, mixed with the tense set of his muscles made me lose my
focus and I couldn't hold on any longer, so I erupted into a fit of euphoric ecstasy.

My climax had taken every bit of energy I had left for the day so I collapsed down

on his chest, not even caring that my hair was sprawled out all over his face.

"You are mean," Edward said with a laugh after a minute.

"Did you come?" I mumbled.

"Oh yeah."

"Then I'm not that mean," I joked.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed it, because you won't be able to be on top when I need

to pull out."

"I thought we were doing the Rhythm thing?"

"Oh…right," he said languidly. Neither of us really cared about what tomorrow

would bring at the moment, we were just both spent, so we decided to put off
further discussion on the matter until later.

- 165 -

All too soon, Em did stop nursing and my period returned which meant it was time

to be careful. Luckily for us, it wasn't as hard as we thought. Edward would notch
off days on a big stick, and at fourteen notches after my period we would resort to
other ways of making love that didn't include intercourse. But even more than that, I
began to recognize my body's clues as to when I was ovulating, and we were able to
navigate the Rhythm Method quiet well. We both understood accidents could
happen and we would handle the consequences, but until then we were happy with
our success and Edward would even hold little celebrations each time I got my
period.

"You are ridiculous," I said with a smile the first time he jumped for joy from me

getting my period.

"You know you're just as happy," he said excitedly. Em didn't understand what

was happening, but she laughed at daddy and bounced along with him.

We had experienced so many joys on the island, but I knew I would never forget

the day Em took her first solo step.

She had been walking with the help of our fingers, and considering it was usually

on sand, she seemed to have pretty good balance, but one day she got excited about
something and just let go of Edward's hand. We both just stood there in shock for a
moment, and then we started cheering which made Em realize what she was doing
and she ended up falling over.

But it didn't matter, she still walked, so we scooped her up and paraded around

the beach while celebrating. It was an amazing thing, and I was so glad we both got
to witness it.

That night we stayed out late and watched the moon beams dance over the water.

We usually tried to get Em to bed when it was dark, but it was a special night so we
made an exception.

"Cold?" Edward asked me after I abruptly shivered.

"No, I just got the willies all of a sudden."

"Are you feeling ok?" he asked concerned. "Are you pregnant?"

"No," I said with a laugh. He always asked me that every time I felt the tiniest bit

off. "I just had my period, remember?"

- 166 -

"Oh, right."

"I don't know what it is, I just feel…weird. Like something's about to happen."

"Hey, as long as it's not another pregnancy…or snake bite, or ingestion of

something poisonous….or broken bones, or deep lacerations, or tooth problems…I
think we'll be able to handle it."

I giggled. "Yeah, we'll be able to handle anything," I said while grabbing his hand

and weaving his fingers with mine….except I didn't feel very confident in that
moment. I just had an eerie feeling that seemed to follow me around for the next
couple days.

Em quickly became a walking pro, but I couldn't be completely happy with my

uneasy feeling.

And then it happened.

"Mama," Em said excitedly. Em couldn't talk much, but her babbling 'ma ma mas'

had quickly turned into mama, which I was over the moon about. After that she
started saying dada as well, but I got bragging rights since mama was first.

"What is it baby?" I asked with a smile. I smiled every time I heard her call me

mama.

"Mama," she said again, and pointed out to the ocean.

I turned around to look over the water, and there on the horizon, was a boat. It

wasn't a large shipping vessel like before, but it was definitely a boat…much like the
one I had fallen off of.

I immediately started breathing heavy as I considered what to do.

"Edward," I said quietly. He was up on the beach cleaning his latest catch, but he

was too far away to hear me. For a moment, I seriously considered letting the boat
pass the way I did last time, but it would be a mistake to not tell Edward, he
deserved a chance to help decide what to do. "EDWARD!" I yelled, loud enough that
he should be able to hear.

"What?" he called back. But I didn't have to explain, he saw exactly what I was

calling him about. He froze while watching it, but then he looked at me and we
locked eyes. We spoke volumes in that one look, and we didn't need words to know

- 167 -

we were on the same page.

I picked up Em, and then walked over to where Edward was working by the fire

pit. He already had a small fire going to cook the fish, but then he smiled at me and
bent over to scoop up some sand with a leaf…and poured in on the fire.

With the fire smothered, we went into our cottage and waited for the boat to pass

our little island by. Our cottage blended in with the foliage so we weren't worried
about it being spotted, but we both knew the gravity of what we just did. Maybe it
was stupid of us, but the cottage was our home and the island was our world; we
weren't ready to leave it, and I doubted we ever would be.

We didn't talk about it, but we went to bed that night and made love without a

care in the world. We had already made the decision to stay, but letting the boat go
made it that much more real. We were choosing our family and our way of life, and
that was an amazing feeling.

"We missed dinner last night, so I better get out there early," Edward told me the

next morning.

"You may want to shave as well, or are you going for the whole 'Castaway' look?" I

asked him with a giggle. Usually Edward took care of his facial hair the same way I
did with my armpit hair, with his knife, but for whatever reason, he hadn't done it in
a few days. Despite my comment, however, I actually did kind of like the stubble. It
was very….manly.

"Maybe I will," he said casually before kissing my forehead, and then leaving me

to wait for Em to wake up.

But even though it was early, I could never sleep without him so I sat up in bed

and stretched before going over to check on Em. She was still lying in her crib, but
her eyes were open and she smiled at me the moment she saw me.

"Well, good morning sweetheart," I said with a huge grin. I loved seeing her look

so happy in the morning.

"Mama," she said quietly.

I probably should have let her lay there for a bit, but I just wanted to hold her, so I

picked her up and hugged her tightly. "Are you hungry?" I asked her. She nodded so
I peeled a banana and handed it to her.

- 168 -

"Dada," she said, and I knew she was asking where he was.

"Daddy went to fish,"

"Fish," she repeated me.

"That's right; daddy went to go catch some fish for breakfast. Should we go

watch?"

She nodded, so I grabbed her blanket, and we walked outside…and into a world

that was nothing like I was expecting….

"Bella, stay there!" Edward shouted at me.

Since being on the island, we had experienced all types of life threatening

obstacles, but nothing was more terrifying then what was before me.

A group of men were on our beach….and they had guns…which were pointed right

at Edward.

Suddenly the men started shouting in what sounded like Spanish, but I couldn't be

sure, and then one of the men walked over to grab my arm.

"Don't touch her!" Edward shouted aggressively at him, but when he moved to

come to protect me, the men cocked their guns and screamed at him.

"Edward, please, just stay there!" I said desperately, not wanting him to get shot. I

held Em closer to me as the man pulled at my arm, dragging me out to the ocean
where a small raft was bobbing in the waves. "Where are we going?" I asked the
man, but he obviously didn't speak English so he didn't reply. "EDWARD!" I called
back to him anxiously as the man pushed Em and I onto the raft.

"It's ok Bella, just try to keep Em calm!" he called back to me.

But how was I supposed to keep Em calm when I was absolutely terrified myself?

What was happening, where were the men taking us? It was extremely frightening,
but it was also very surreal. It had been just us on the island for so long that seeing
other people was more than a little strange.

For Em's sake, I forced myself to keep it together, but as the man was rowing us

towards a bigger boat anchored in the deep water, I couldn't take my eyes off
Edward. The men were yelling at him, and he was replying heatedly. And then,

- 169 -

without a warning that I could see, one of the men kneed Edward in the gut.

"EDWARD!" I screamed out to him.

But I couldn't do anything but watch from afar, and I felt completely helpless as

the small raft took us further and further away.

"What are they doing to him?" I asked the man rowing us, but he still didn't

answer. Why the hell didn't I ever learn Spanish?

Em must have gotten scared at that point because she called out "Dada!" before

starting to cry. She had no way of understanding what was happening; she had
never even seen other people before so I knew she had to have been absolutely
terrified. She clung onto me for dear life, and hid in my hair as we reached the boat.
I couldn't see Edward anymore because we were too far and there were too many
men on the beach, so I had no choice but to focus on Em.

The man with us called up to the boat and seemed to be explaining why he had us

with him, and the people above spoke back before pulling Em and I inside.

I hadn't felt that confused since first getting on the island, and the fact that no one

spoke English just made everything worse.

"Please…uh, por favor" I said to a man who looked like he could be the captain of

the boat. "Please, my husband is out there…" I tried saying, but they weren't paying
attention to me, they were all just running around like we committed some huge
felony or something.

I was handed what looked like a T shirt and shoved into a tiny room, assumedly to

get dressed. I didn't even realize until that moment that I wasn't wearing a shirt -
not that anyone could have seen anything with Em pressed so tightly to my chest
and my long hair covering us both, but still, it seemed to offend them.

I pulled the large sized shirt over my head, which upset Em so I let her crawl

under the fabric to keep in contact with my skin where she felt safest. The T shirt
actually felt odd because I was so used to not wearing anything, but it also made me
feel better because Em was hiding inside it and I could keep her close.

We stayed locked in that tiny room for what felt like an hour before I could feel

the boat began to move.

"Oh no," I said to myself. There was a tiny softball sized window hole near the top

- 170 -

of the room, so I stood on the single chair and looked out to see our island home
disappearing in the distance. "No."

My heart leapt out of my chest.

I had no way of knowing if Edward was on the boat with us or not, and there was

no way out of the room. I considered banging on the door, but I worried that would
only scare Em even more, so I had no choice but to just sit in the chair and try to
rock her to sleep until I got some answers.

- 171 -

Doubt

Chapter 17 – Doubt

I had no idea how long Em and I were locked in that tiny room for, but every

second of it was agony. Besides being terrified and scared shitless for Edward, I was
exhausted but the room wasn't even big enough for me to lie down in. I moved the
chair closer to the wall so I could rest my head, and thankfully Em had fallen asleep
and she seemed ok for the moment under my shirt. I just wished Edward was with
us. He always knew exactly what to do to calm my nerves - God, he had to be ok.

I felt like I had just drifted off when suddenly the boat's loud horn sounded three

times, startling both me and Em awake.

"Mama!" Em cried, hiding deeper inside my shirt.

"It's ok, baby," I cooed while rubbing her back. "I hope," I added to myself

nervously. "Mama is just going to climb up here and look outside, Ok?" I told her as I
stood up on the chair. She was still clinging to my chest, but I figured talking to her
might help make her feel better. But when I looked outside the tiny window, my
stomach nearly jumped into my throat…We were docking in what looked like a busy
marina.

Civilization - It was absolutely terrifying.

People were moving about the marina in anticipation for the boat's arrival, and I

couldn't help but to just stare at them as if they were alien life forms. The language
and culture barrier wasn't what was strange to me, it was the people themselves; so
clean and clothed…it was just odd. But then I began wondering even more why we
had been taken prisoner. They obviously weren't pirates or criminals otherwise they
wouldn't dock in suck a public place, but why would they lock us up, and what did
they do with Edward?

After a little more time passed, finally the door began to jiggle. "Stay quiet baby,"

I murmured, hoping to god that she would understand enough to listen. And then
the door opened.

"Please sir, can you just tell me where my husband is?" I asked as politely as I was

capable of.

- 172 -

He said something that I didn't understand, and once again, he grabbed my arm

and led me out of the room.

"Where are you taking us?" I asked feebly, knowing he wouldn't answer. He pulled

us through a hall, around a corner, and finally down some stairs to a door that led
out to the docks. I couldn't help but squint when the bright sun rays hit my eyes
after being kept in that small room for so long, but I couldn't shield my face because
one hand was holding Em, and the other was still being held onto by the man.

At the end of the dock was what looked like an officer. "Oh, please help me," I

said, desperately hoping the officer spoke English, but of course he didn't.

He took my arm from the other man, the two spoke for a few minutes, and then

the officer brought me to his police car.

Regardless of my confusion, I couldn't help but be slightly relieved. The people

who forced us off the island were not going to hurt us…at least not Em and me. I
squeezed my eyes shut from the violent memory of Edward being kneed in the gut.
The thought made me want to vomit.

It had to have been hours since Em ate last so I knew she had to have been

hungry, but she was so afraid of what was happening that she never made a sound.
She didn't cry, she hardly moved, and I was so worried that she was going to have
lasting psychological issues from this event. When we got back to the island, Edward
and I would have to spend extra time trying to make her feel secure again.

When the police car stopped, the officer got us out and brought us into what I

assumed was a police station, where we were brought into what looked like an
interrogation room.

And then a woman came in. "Do you speak English?" the woman asked me with a

heavy accent.

"Yes, thank god some one understands me here," I said relieved. "Please, I have no

idea what's going on; why were we taken from our home?"

"Your home?" the woman asked. "We were told you were found on Zafrina."

I shook my head. "I don't know what that is," I said honestly.

"Zafrina is a sacred island protected by the Kachiri."

- 173 -

"Kach…huh?" I asked confused.

"The Kachiri are a native tribe who still practice certain ancient traditions, such as

visiting the Zafrina Island once every decade…which happens to have been
yesterday. When they went there to perform their ceremony, they saw that people
were hiding out on the island, and became very upset so they called in for back up.
It is against the law for anyone other than Kachiri to be on that land; they assumed
you were criminals running from the law. My job is to see if they assumed right."

Uh… "Ma'am, we didn't mean any disrespect or to break any laws. My husband

and I were marooned there a while ago, and we were just trying to survive."

The woman narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. And of course, that was when

she noticed the big moving lump under my shirt. "What are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything," I said defensively while cradling Em. "She's just

scared." I pulled Em's foot out from under my shirt to prove to the woman that I
didn't have anything dangerous.

"You have a child?"

"Yes, ma'am, she was born on the island."

But the woman suddenly became less friendly. She opened the door and shouted

to someone in Spanish, which of course, I didn't understand. Without warning, two
men came in the room and they definitely didn't look nice. One grabbed my arms,
and the other reached under my shirt and pulled Em out, making her scream louder
than I had ever heard from her before.

"NO! What are you doing?" I began thrashing around to try to break free from the

man's grasp, but he was too strong. "GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!"

But then the man holding me handcuffed my hand to the chair, and the other

disappeared out of the room…with my screaming baby in his hands.

"Where is he taking her?" I shouted at the woman.

"Relax, she will not be harmed."

"What's going on?" I asked with a mix of desperation and frustration.

"Sit down, and let us talk a while," she said more calmly, but the man who had

- 174 -

handcuffed me stayed in the room and watched me like a hawk.

"I'll do whatever you want, just give me my baby back. She's scared, she's never

seen people before. Please, I'm begging you, just give her back to me."

"I'm sorry, we cannot do that."

"WHY?" I cried out.

"Let's start with introductions. My name is Irina Volturi, and you are?"

I huffed but figured I better go along with what she was telling me to if I wanted

to get Em back. "Bella Cullen," I said without thinking, but then I realized my error.
"No, I'm sorry, my name is Isabella Swan."

Irina narrowed her eyes at me again. "Which is it?"

"Isabella Swan," I said assuredly.

"And your story is that you and your husband was marooned on Zafrina

Island…Where your daughter was born?"

"Yes…no, wait, let me think," I said, honestly having a hard time remembering

how Edward and I were stranded in the first place. "We're not married. We were on
a school trip and I fell off the boat, and Edward saved me on the dingy but we got
separated and then drifted at sea a few days before seeing the island."

"How long ago was this?" the woman asked skeptically while writing in a

notebook. She obviously didn't believe my story.

"Um…" I tried to think about how old Em was. I knew we were on the island for a

year before she was born, but… "I'm not sure…about two years ago, maybe three."

"You managed to stay on an island for that long?" the woman asked in disbelief.

I nodded.

"For two years…maybe three?" she asked condescendingly. "That is quite a

difference."

"We weren't very good at keeping track of time," I said irritated.

- 175 -

"Mm-hum," she said while writing more down in her notebook. "And what

happened to the dingy?"

"I don't know. We left it in the water when we spotted the island. We lost the

ores," I explained, but when the woman 'hum'd' again, I got even more upset. "Look,
we never meant to do anything wrong, and it's not like we had a choice. We were
there just trying to survive. Please, give me my daughter."

"Ms. Swan….if that is even your name. Your so called daughter meets the

description of a missing child in an international case from Alaska. I'm sorry, but
until your daughter is legally identified, we cannot give her back to you."

"What?" I asked at a loss. "We didn't kidnap her…I gave birth to her."

"Then surely you have her birth certificate and some ID."

She couldn't be serious. "No, she was born on the island; I don't have any legal

documents for her. Give me a DNA test, please. I'll do whatever it takes; just give me
back my baby."

"Fine, we will run the tests, and in the mean time we are contacting the American

authorities to try to verify your story. The parents of the missing toddler are also
being asked to look at the child's photo to see if she is theirs."

"Fine, they'll tell you she's not!" I said strongly. "Can't you just bring her here

until they get back to you? She's scared."

"I'm sorry. Until we determine that she isn't the missing child, we cannot let you

have her."

"This is ridiculous. Search the internet, I'm sure you can find something about us

being lost at sea a couple years ago. Our families must have been looking for
us…Please."

"Like I already said, we are checking out your story. Until then, we'll move you to

a more comfortable room."

"I'm fine here, all I care about is my family. Where is my hus…Edward, where is

Edward?"

"The man who was found on the island with you has been arrested for assault."

- 176 -

"What?" I shouted. "This is absurd, I saw that man kneeing him."

"He wasn't being cooperative, so he's currently sitting in a cell on the other side of

this building."

At least he was safe.

"Irina, please," I decided to ask one more time as she was walking out the door.

She stopped and turned back to me. "Please, just give me my baby back. I'm locked
in this room, I can't take her anywhere, so please, can I have her?"

"I am sorry, but no."

Tears fell down my face, but I wasn't crying because I was afraid I'd never see

Edward and Em again, I knew without a doubt that it would all get cleared up
eventually, but I just couldn't imagine how scared my little girl was at that moment.

"Her name is Em, and she has to be hungry," I said in a rush.

"She's in good hands," Irina assured me, but it didn't make me feel any better. The

moment I was left alone in that room, handcuffed to the chair, I started bawling.
What kind of mother allows someone to take her child from her? I should have
fought harder, I should have figured out a way to convince them I was telling the
truth. I failed as a mother - I failed Em – The thought made me cry even harder.

Eventually I was moved to another room, and although I felt completely helpless

and utterly worthless, I was grateful I wasn't put into a cell; I only wished Edward
was as lucky. The room I was taken to looked like a conference room, with a couch
and a small bathroom attached….a real bathroom, but not even the idea of toilet
paper could excite me. I needed my baby back in my arms, and until that moment, I
couldn't be happy about anything.

A person in a lab coat came and swabbed my mouth, assumedly for the DNA test,

and then I was brought some food but I couldn't eat. The fact that there was a clock
in the room only added to my anxiety. Six hours. It had been six tortuously long
hours from the time Em was ripped out of my arms, and I still didn't have any
answers.

But then the door opened, and a man walked into the room who looked

familiar…but I couldn't quite place him.

"Bella?" he said hesitantly.

- 177 -

And then it came to me; I did know him, but for a moment I was scared. Seeing his

face meant nothing would ever be the same again, but after that moment was over I
realized he was exactly the person I needed.

"Dad!"

"Oh, Bella, thank god," he said quietly before running to me, and wrapping me in

his arms. "I thought I lost you forever."

I couldn't believe it was actually happening. My dad was there, and he was

holding me just like I often wished he would after first being stranded. I felt like a
little girl again, just waking after a bad dream and my daddy was there to make all
my fears go away….Except I wasn't a little girl, I was a mother who needed her baby
back, and I was sure in that moment that my dad could get her for me.

"Dad, please, I need you to get my baby," I said desperately. "They took her; I

need you to make them give her back. Please dad, can you get her?"

He looked at me with a mix of shock and confusion, but I think he could tell by my

tone how serious I was.

"O-o-okay, just…stay here, I'll be right back."

I didn't even consider the fact that he would have no idea that I was a mother until

after he had left the room. Em had been such a large part of my life that I honestly
didn't remember what it was like before her. My life in Forks, my family, my friends,
none of it seemed real anymore; my life on the island was what was real and
everything else was just a distant memory or a dream. Except, now my dad was
there, and he was going to bring my baby back to me. I didn't have a doubt.

Charlie's POV

I didn't know how to survive those first few days after they called off the search

for Bella. When they found the remains of their dingy with no sign of them, everyone
told me she was in a better place and I needed to move on with my life. But she was
my only child, my baby, how was I supposed to just forget about her and move on?
The answer was that I couldn't, and neither could Esme. The two of us pulled our
money together and funded our own search for our missing kids, but after a year
passed, our money ran out and there was nowhere left to search, so we had no
choice but to go back home and try to piece together our lives again.

- 178 -

But then I got the call that I dreamed of.

"Mr. Swan, this is Irina Volturi with the American Consulate in Puerto Vallarta.

We have a young woman here who claims to be Isabella Swan. We've done our
research and got your number from the Forks Police Department….." – Everything
she was saying after telling me that my daughter was found was a blur. I didn't care
what else she had to say, my daughter was alive, except…. "Sir, you have to
understand that this could just be a false alarm or someone posing as your daughter.
We advise you not to get your hopes up, but we do need you to come down here to
positively identify the woman."

I didn't hesitate. I understood the risks of getting my hopes up, but if there was

the slightest chance that Bella was alive, there was nothing in the world that was
going to stop me from getting to her. I got on the next flight, and went straight to
the consulate.

"Where's my daughter?" I asked the first person I saw.

"You must be Mr. Swan?" a woman with a thick accent said. "I'm Irina, I believe

we spoke over the phone."

"Yes, where is she?" I asked impatiently.

"Sir, like I said over the phone, you'll need to positively identify her. Mrs. Cullen is

on her way as well, and was told the same thing."

"Was Edward found also?" I asked, feeling horrible that I didn't stop to think about

the boy even once.

"We do have a young man claiming to be Edward Cullen, yes."

"They're both ok, thank god," I said to myself.

"Sir," the woman chided me.

"Yes, identify," I said, just trying to appease her. But my daughter was in that

building, I could feel it.

"Her story hasn't been consistent, which leads me to believe she is lying. They

were found on Zafrina Island…" Irina explained as she led the way to where my
daughter was, but her comment just made me angry so I cut her off.

- 179 -

"Mrs. Cullen and I were told that there was no way they could have washed up on

Zafrina, and we were told that a search party looked regardless."

"Sir, I was not here during that time, but from what I was told, they did look

there…briefly. They were not allowed to go onto land because it is sacred grounds,
but they circled the island with their boats and saw no sign of them. The dingy that
the teenagers were supposedly lost on was found in pieces miles away on a
completely different island. Our coast guard still doesn't understand how they could
have ended up of Zafrina Island…which is another reason why I did not want you to
get your hopes up."

"Look, I don't care how they ended up on that island, all I care about is that

they're alive…and I don't need to see my daughter to know that she is," I said
confidently.

She didn't argue with me anymore because she could tell it was pointless. I would

not waver. She finally stopped in front of a door, and then told me - "I'll give you a
minute to talk to her. There will be an officer right outside the room."

I opened the door slowly; suddenly nervous and doubting my certainty, and then I

took a deep breath and went inside. She looked too skinny and much more tan than I
had ever thought possible….but it was definitely her.

Bella was alive.

She looked frightened at first, almost like she didn't recognize me, but the

moment she was in my arms I knew everything was going to be ok.

But then she asked me to find her baby – I wanted to question her, but the look of

panic and desperation in her eyes made me want nothing more than to give her
whatever she asked. It killed me to leave her alone in that room when I just found
her, but I had to stay strong and do what she needed me to do, and at that moment,
she needed me to find something for her.

"Excuse me?" I asked Irina. "My daughter is asking for her…baby?" I said, hoping

they would know what that meant. I honestly thought Bella was referring to
something she got attached to on the island, sort of like Tom Hanks in 'Castaway'
and his Wilson ball…but I was so very wrong.

"So are you telling us you're sure she is your daughter?"

"Of course she is. Look, I just want to get her home as soon as possible, but she's

- 180 -

insisting on getting this baby thing. She said someone took it."

"Look, Mr. Swan, we're still waiting for the couple from Alaska to review the

picture of the baby to be sure it's not the one that was kidnapped from there."

"Wait, we're talking about a real baby here?"

"Yes, sir. The child was found with your daughter, but until we prove that she did

not kidnap her, we cannot release her back to your daughter."

I was confused, but then I thought about how scared Bella looked and I became

angry. "How could she have kidnapped a child from Alaska when she's been
marooned on an island off the coast of Mexico?" I asked incredulously.

"Sir, we must."

"No! Where is this child? Bring me to her right away!" I demanded.

"There is proper protocol for these things, we can't…"

"You can. I am the police chief of my town, here is my ID and badge, you can hold

me responsible," I said while slamming my wallet on the counter. "Now, bring me to
that child!"

The woman stared at me for a moment, and then she sighed. "Right this way, sir."

I followed her down a hall, and then to an open door where four women were

surrounding a small toddler.

"Your daughter claims the baby has never seen other people before, but she

seems pretty friendly," Irina said as we watched the child interact with the women
surrounding her. She was sitting on the table and grabbing at anything the women
would hand her, and putting them into her mouth. They were all gushing over her
and talking to her in Spanish, but she didn't respond verbally whatsoever. Suddenly,
the little girl turned my way and looked me dead in the eye, and I knew. Of course
she was Bella's baby; her eyes were an exact copy.

"Mama!" the girl cried to me unexpectedly.

"That's the first sound she's made since we took her from your daughter," Irina

commented.

- 181 -

"Mama, mama, mama…" she began chanting while reaching for me. I didn't think,

I just reacted. I walked over to her and picked her up like I had a right to, and held
her close to me. She made my heart melt when she hugged me tightly like she knew
me, but then she looked up at me with a confused expression before grabbing my
mustache. "Mama?"

"You want your mama?" I said to her, fighting back my tears.

"Mama," she said again while pulling on my mustache even harder.

I looked at Irina. "I'm taking her to her mother," I insisted. I didn't wait for an

answer, I just walked her out of the room and back to where I left Bella. "Excuse
me," I said to the officer standing in my way.

Irina said something to him in Spanish, and then he nodded and moved out of the

way to let me inside. I opened the door, and Bella looked up at us. The moment she
saw the baby in my arms, relief flooded her features.

"Mama!" the little girl cried towards Bella. She practically jumped out of my arms,

but she didn't have to because Bella was right there to take her from me. They held
each other tightly, and Bella cried softly while whispering something in her ear and
rubbing her back.

I didn't understand exactly how that little girl came about, but the details didn't

matter right then; all that mattered was that I had my little girl….and she had hers.

…..

Bella's POV

"Thank you dad, for bringing her back to me," I said emotionally with tears rolling

down my cheeks.

Em was wearing clothes of some sort with what felt like a diaper underneath, a

real diaper, and she smelled like baby shampoo. Did they give her a bath? Someone
definitely combed her hair. All of those simple acts made me mad again because I
was sure they would be scary enough for her, but to have them preformed by
strangers had to have been traumatic. But at least she was safe and back with me,
and I wouldn't let us be separated again. She cuddled into my chest and knotted her
hands in my hair to comfort herself. It had been the longest I had ever been away
from her, and I was incredibly grateful that Charlie was able to do whatever
necessary to reunite us.

- 182 -

"Dada?" Em asked after she felt safe again.

I looked up at Charlie. I could only imagine what he was thinking from all of it, but

we would have time for explanations later. If he could bring me Em, maybe he could
help Edward as well.

"I'll go see what I can find out," Charlie said, without me even having to ask.

Charlie was a good man and I was lucky to have him as a father, but the only dad I

needed at the moment, was Em's…

...

***A/N: I strayed from BPOV, sorry, but I thought that little bit was

necessary. Won't happen again (I think ;)

- 183 -

Reunions

Chapter 18 – Reunions

While I was waiting for Charlie to come back with whatever information he could

find about Edward, someone came in and brought Em and I some food - jarred baby
something, a carton of milk, a water bottle, and a large slice of cheese pizza.

I tried to be strong for Em, I tried to hold it in, but seeing the pizza made me

break down and cry hysterically.

Edward had wanted pizza…and I wanted Edward. I was so grateful to have Em

back, but from the moment I saw those guns pointed at Edward, my heart stopped
beating and I wouldn't be ok until I could wrap my arms around him again.

Em didn't freak out from my sobs; she simply put her little hand on my cheek,

which was a gesture that was far beyond her years but I still couldn't stop crying.

I didn't hear the door open, I didn't notice Em's attention shift away from me, and

the moment he wrapped his arms around me, I didn't need to look up to know it was
him….but of course I looked anyway, because looking at Edward was one of my most
favorite things to do.

"Edward," I cried into his chest, inhaling his scent deep into my lungs; it was the

sweet familiar comforting scent of sweat and island flora, mixed with the mustiness
of what I could only assume was from the cell he was locked in. "Edward you're
here; you're really ok," I said while holding onto him with an iron grip.

"Oh Bella, you have no idea how worried I was about you two. When I saw those

men pulling you onto that boat….I didn't understand. I thought I lost my girls…" –
his voice broke at the end, and I could hear the raw emotions behind his words. I
knew how he was feeling, because I had felt it too; that utter hopelessness of not
understanding, the feeling of being torn from everything that matters. It was the
worst feeling imaginable and I prayed to god that we would never have to
experience it again.

My hysterical sorrowful sobs had turned into tears of joy as my family was

reunited, and I was sure we were going to be ok. Like all the other obstacles we had
faced together, we made it through; just like I was sure we would continue to do
thereafter.

- 184 -

"Everything is ok, now," Edward cooed into my ear after a few moments, while

rubbing both my and Em's backs. "I'm so sorry I let them get you," he said full of self
loathing.

"You didn't do anything wrong," I assured him. "We were outnumbered, they had

guns….but, like you said, everything is ok now, we're together."

But he shook his head strangely. "I shouldn't have let them take us off the island,"

he said through gritted teeth.

I didn't understand why he seemed to be angry in that moment. We were together

and safe, he should be just as happy as I was. "It doesn't matter right now, we're all
ok," I said again before kissing his shoulder.

"Dada here," Em said suddenly, breaking Edward's sour mood. Her timing was

oddly wonderful, almost as if she let us have our moment before she wanted hers.

"Of course daddy's here," he said playfully while taking her from me and hugging

her tightly. He then began peppering her face with kisses, making her giggle.
"Daddy missed you," he said to her after a minute.

"Mama," she said, pointing back at me.

"You want to go back to mommy?" he asked. She nodded so he went back to me,

but instead of her reaching for me to hold her, she just placed her hand on the skin
of my neck and was content in Edward's arms. She just wanted us both close, it was
the only way she felt comforted.

"Thank you," Edward said unexpectedly. I looked up and saw Charlie standing

awkwardly in the doorway with another man whom I didn't recognize.

"How did you get him out?" I asked Charlie gratefully.

"He's not officially free yet, but it pays to have friends in high places and I called

in a few favors," Charlie explained. "Since he's still a minor, he can't be legally
released until his mother gets here…Got the charges dropped against him though."

"Thanks dad," I said sincerely while snuggling in closer to Edward and Em.

Edward, Em and I just held onto each other for awhile, and basked in the serenity

of being together again, but then Em's curiosity got the better of her. "Dada, this?"
she said while pulling at the shirt he was wearing. She had never seen either of us

- 185 -

with a shirt on, and it was obviously confusing for her. Hell, I was a little weirded
out by it as well; I hated the fact that Edward was all covered up.

"It's a shirt," he told her with a laugh.

"Shirt," she repeated him.

"Yeah, a shirt. See you have one too," he said while tugging on the shirt she was

wearing.

"Mama shirt," she said excitedly.

"Yeah, mama has a shirt too," I said with a giggle.

"Eat," Em said, abruptly changing the subject. She leaned back in Edward's arms

to point behind them at the table where the pizza was still sitting untouched.

"Edward, they have pizza!" I told him enthusiastically.

"Why didn't you eat?" he asked disapprovingly.

"I couldn't, I was too worried about you. Did they give you pizza wherever you

were?"

"Yeah, they brought me food, but you should eat, it's probably cold."

"Eat," Em said again.

"Ok, baby," I said to her with a laugh. "Let's see what we have here." The jar of

chunky baby food was in Spanish so I had no idea what it was, but regardless, the
idea of feeding my daughter something from a jar like that was a little unnerving. I
hesitantly opened the lid, and nearly vomited from the stench. "How about pizza?" I
said to her.

I ripped off a little bit of the pizza and put it into her mouth, but the most hilarious

expression crossed her features – utter disgust.

"Oh, you don't like that?" I asked while trying to contain my laughter.

"Yeah, it wasn't the best," Edward mumbled.

I turned around and pinched him.

- 186 -

"Ow! What was that for?" he asked while rubbing his arm.

"You knew it was nasty and that was why you were trying to get me to eat it," I

said while poking him with each word.

"I did no such thing," he said playfully defensive. "And you better watch out, they

don't take spousal abuse too well around here."

"Oh, you think that was spousal abuse?" I asked. "Well, I'll show you spousal

abuse," I said while moving my hands under his shirt to reach his ticklish ribs.

"No, that's unfair….I can't defend myself I'm holding Em," he said while

squirming.

But then a throat clearing from my dad reminded us that we weren't alone, so I

promptly removed my hands from under his shirt.

"Sorry," Edward and I both mumbled.

"Um, is there something else we can feed Em?" I asked my dad, hoping he'd come

to the rescue one more time.

"I'll go see what they have," he said uncomfortably before leaving the room.

"It's not the best, but you still have to eat it," Edward said to me.

"What, no way. I'd rather eat worms."

"Come on Bella, when was the last time you ate?"

I thought about it. "On the island."

"Exactly. You don't want to get sick now, do you?"

I shook my head no, and then sighed. "Fine." But after three bites of the

cardboard pizza, my stomach started churning. "I'm going to be sick if I eat that," I
said while pushing it away.

Edward leaned into me and kissed my forehead, but I wanted his lips so I looked

up and him and puckered. He leaned down and kissed me tenderly, but before we
could deepen it, there was more throat clearing coming from the doorway.

- 187 -

"They said she just ate a little bit ago, but they gave me this banana," Charlie said

uncomfortably.

"Why wouldn't you know that she ate a little bit ago?" Edward asked me confused.

Crap. I didn't want him to get upset, but I refused to lie to him so I told him what

happened…and he was definitely pissed.

"Where are you going?" I asked as he put Em down.

"I'm going to go talk to someone about this," he fumed.

"Edward, no. It won't do any good," I told him in a panic. "We're back together

now, that's all that matters," I tried convincing him. The last thing I could handle at
that moment was for them to arrest him again for his outburst.

"No, it's not," he snapped. "They had no right to take her from you. They could

have done some serious permanent psychological damage to her."

"I've already given them an earful and plan to file a complaint," Charlie assured

him. "But it's best to keep calm and just get you all home before they give us any
more hassle."

"Yeah, none of this is going to matter in a few days anyway," I added. "Once we

get back to the cottage, we're just going to put all of this behind us. I'm sure Em
won't even remember it."

Edward and Charlie stared at me confused for a moment, which just confused me.

"What?" I asked them.

"Bella, we're not going back to the cottage," Edward said slowly. "We're back in

civilization now."

"Well, now….but we have to go back, that's our home," I said quietly, letting my

words trail off as I realized for the first time that we would never be going back to
the island. It was stupid to not think about it sooner; obviously we couldn't go back,
we were in trouble for being there in the first place, but I suppose it didn't really hit
me until that moment.

Our lives would never be the same.

Once again, I started crying. But I wasn't bawling like before, tears were just

- 188 -

streaming down my face which made me feel absolutely ridiculous. Edward and Em
were both there and safe, I should be happy, not crying like a child.

Edward wrapped his arms around me securely, and Em followed his lead by

walking over to hug my leg. I was expecting Edward to tell me something
encouraging, but he didn't say a word. He just held me and we took a minute to
grieve our loss.

The thought of returning to Forks was absolutely terrifying. I tried to remember

my life back then and I honestly couldn't, but I took a deep breath and decided that
it didn't matter. The island was our home because we were together, and as long as
we were able to stay together, it really didn't matter where we were.

"Edward?" a female voice said unexpectedly.

It was odd, but he didn't let me go when he heard his name, he just turned his

head to look in that direction.

"Hi mom," he said emotionlessly.

I turned to look at the woman, and although I had seen Esme Cullen before, we

had never really spoken so she was a virtual stranger to me….but I still couldn't
believe Edward wasn't more excited to see her.

When neither he nor his mom moved, I pulled out of his embrace and gave him a

nudge towards her.

"You've changed so much," Esme said absently. "If I didn't know any better, I

would have thought I was looking at your father," she said before finally breaking
down and letting her emotions get to her. She walked over and hugged Edward
tightly while crying into his shirt. Edward returned her hug, but it definitely looked
strained, like he wasn't completely happy she was there.

"Mama," Em said while reaching up for me to hold her. I bent down and picked

her up, but because I was still standing right behind Edward, Em grabbed a hold of
his shirt. She didn't seem to like Esme hugging him either.

"Oh, who's this?" Esme asked when she noticed Em.

Edward glanced back at her. "This is Em…our daughter."

Esme's friendly face fell flat. "Your daughter?"

- 189 -

Edward nodded, but kept his expression blank.

Esme looked at him strangely, almost as if she was searching for something in his

face - perhaps a glimpse of the boy he was before, but whatever she found made her
turn to look at me, and for a moment I could see a flash of pure loathing. Her icy
glare took me off guard and actually made my breath catch, but then she turned her
attention to Em and immediately warmed.

"She looks like you," she told Edward softly with a smile. "She's so beautiful….Hi

sweetheart. Can I hold her?"

"Oh…sure," I said uneasily. Of course I'd want Em's grandmother to hold her, but

there was something about the way she had looked at me that almost made me
afraid of her, so handing my baby over was rather difficult.

Em went to Esme, but then she immediately reached for Edward. "It's ok, baby,"

he said to her encouragingly.

"Dada," Em said before starting to cry.

"Ok," he said while taking her back from Esme. "She's just a little shaken up right

now," he explained to his mother.

"That makes two of us," Esme replied, but Edward just rolled his eyes at her

comment. "Well, Charlie, what do you say we go talk to them about getting these
kids out of here."

"That's a good idea," Charlie replied.

When they left the room, thankfully they took all the tension with them.

"Whoa, that was….weird," I said.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, as if he was oblivious to the awkwardness of

his reunion.

"Well, you didn't seem all that excited to see her. I mean, when my dad came in

here I nearly lost it."

He shrugged. "I guess you just have a different relationship."

"How so? We haven't seen our parents in…how long has it been anyway."

- 190 -

"Two years," he said with a sigh. "I saw a calendar."

"Wow….it felt like so much longer."

"And yet shorter at the same time," he added.

"Definitely," I agreed.

Our parents were gone for about half an hour, so we used that time to talk about

everything that happened while we were separated. Edward told me that after he
was 'arrested' on the beach, he was also kept in a tiny room on the boat until we
docked. He was scared to death for us and didn't understand what was going on
until an interpreter explained everything in his cell. The entire thing was horrifying
for all three of us, and I wanted nothing more than to get out of that stuffy building
and to put it all behind us.

"Your dad is really cool, though," Edward said after a minute.

"Yeah, I'm lucky to have him."

Edward laughed. "I think we all are. When he met me outside my cell, he just

shook my hand and said it was good to see me and that he'd make sure I got out to
you guys."

"Really?" I asked impressed.

"What did you think he'd do?"

"I don't know, you did get me pregnant. He used to warn any guy that came

around our house that he'd shoot them if I ended up pregnant," I said with a laugh.
"He has a lot of guns, so everyone always took him seriously."

"Huh….Well, he was nice to me."

"I think he just understands," I said while thinking about Charlie's behavior. "I

mean, it was only natural for us to turn to each other."

"Yeah," Edward mumbled, and then he sat on the ground and played with Em until

our parents came back.

"We're all ready to go," Charlie said with a smile. "We have temporary paper work

for Em which will get her over the border, but we'll have to file everything officially

- 191 -

when we get there. Birth certificates and such."

"But we do have your passports, so we'll be able to make the redeye tonight,"

Esme added.

"We're leaving tonight?" I said to myself. We had been in that building for far too

long, but the idea of flying back to Washington that night seemed overwhelming.

"If we get back before the media catches wind of this, we won't get bombarded

with news reporters," Esme explained. "Plus we have Forks Hospital on standby to
give you guys physicals and to check out the baby tomorrow," Esme told us.

I never even thought about the media being interested in our story, but I guess

that would make sense. But I couldn't help but moan from the hospital bit of
information; I hated doctors, though I guess it was a good thing Em would be seen.

"Ok, well, let's go. There's a van out here to take us to the airport," Charlie said.

"Hey dad, where's mom?" I asked, realizing for the first time that she wasn't

there. I felt bad about not thinking about her sooner, but everything had been so
crazy that she slipped my mind.

"Uh…she couldn't make the trip, but she'll be at the airport when we get there,"

he said cryptically.

"Why couldn't she make the trip?" I asked confused as we all began walking out of

the building.

"Well, I'll tell you on the plane."

"Um…ok."

The women at the consulate had fallen in love with Em, so a few of them cried

when we left, but they also gave us a care package which was basically a diaper bag
full of baby essentials.

The five of us piled into the van and were taken to the airport, where Esme and

Charlie checked us all into our flight.

"Well, it was a pretty full flight, so we couldn't get four seats together," Esme said

regretfully followed by her first smile of kindness directed towards me. Perhaps I
was just imagining her frosty glare before.

- 192 -

"At least we're on the same flight," I said with a returning smile.

Edward and I held hands, and he carried Em as we walked to our gate. It was

getting late and it had been a traumatic day and a half, so I wasn't surprised to see
her fast asleep on his shoulder.

When our plane was called to board, Esme handed Edward his ticket, and Charlie

handed me mine.

"Wait, we're not sitting together?" I asked like a moron. I honestly thought when

Esme had said we couldn't all four sit together, she meant we couldn't sit with them.
I didn't consider the fact they planned to separate us. Sure it was the same plane,
but….

"We're only a few rows apart," Esme told me.

"Yeah, but…"

"It'll be fine," Edward told me unexpectedly. "Your dad wanted to talk to you

anyway, right? This will actually be a good thing because I definitely need to talk to
my mom about some things also."

I wasn't happy about the arrangement, but it seemed I didn't have a choice in the

matter. Edward and Esme sat five rows in front of Charlie and me, and he was going
to take Em as well because she was sleeping on him, but I needed at least one of
them with me, so I took her from him and kept her with me for the flight.

Em stayed asleep, but I spent the first hour of the flight trying to see Edward's

head around the guy in front of me. I figured that as long as I could see him, we'd be
alright.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about your mother," Charlie said after awhile.

"What about her?" I asked absently, still trying to keep a visual of Edward.

"The thing is….it was a rough go there for awhile, and we sort of grew apart…"

"Huh?" I asked, realizing I wasn't really paying attention.

"Your mom and I divorced last year. She met someone and moved out of

state….When I got the call you were alive, I didn't even think about her, I just came
and got you."

- 193 -

"You're divorced?" I asked, completely flabbergasted. "She already moved

on….and you forgot to tell her I'm alive?" I asked incredulously.

"No, I called her from the consulate. Honey, she's over the moon ecstatic about

you being back, but we both figured that by the time she got to the consulate, we
would probably be back to Forks. So, she and her boyfriend are just going to meet
us in Forks."

I really didn't know what to think from all of that. Not only was I already going

back to a civilization that I hardly remembered, but it seemed the parts that I did
remember would be different as well. My parents weren't a couple anymore, and my
mom had a boyfriend? It just didn't make sense.

Just thinking about it was giving me anxiety, and I automatically started looking

for Edward again. He was my safe place, the one thing I could count on, and he was
too far away.

"It's all sounds worse than it is," Charlie said to me calmingly, he must have

sensed my panic. "It may take time to get use to, but soon enough you'll get back in
the swing of things…" He continued to talk, but I stopped listening. I was on edge,
and if I continued to listen to him I knew I would lose it.

Why couldn't I see Edward? – Stupid guy with the cowboy hat.

But then suddenly, like every other time I needed him, he was there.

"Hey," he said with a smile as he fastened himself into my dad's seatbelt.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a huge grin, already feeling better just from

his close proximity.

"You didn't see your dad get up? He came over and asked me to change places

with him."

"Really?" I said, smiling even bigger and cuddling in to him.

"Yeah, are you ok? You look really upset."

"My dad just told me that he and my mom got a divorce. I mean, it's stupid for me

to be upset about it right? I haven't seen them in years and I have a child of my own
now. I shouldn't be affected by this, right?"

- 194 -

He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "There's nothing wrong with being upset.

This would all be overwhelming for anyone, and with everything considering, you're
doing remarkably well."

"You really think so? I don't seem to handle change very well."

"Yeah, but remember the way you were when we first arrived on the island?"

I thought about it, and I couldn't help but laugh. "I was seriously pathetic." I used

to cringe from the thought of that version of me, but now I just thought it was kind
of funny.

"Look how far you've come. The old you would have been huddled in a ball

somewhere from such a stressful situation."

"True. And the old you would be telling me the exact velocity of this airplane."

He nodded. "I still could….but I won't."

We both giggled, and then suddenly we were in full make out mode. I didn't even

know who kissed who, but I really didn't care either. All of the tension, all of my
worry and stress disappeared as his lips danced with mine. If Em wasn't sprawled
out across my legs I probably would have ignored the offended onlookers and
crawled onto his lap, but then….

"Ow, hey," I said after a little old woman smacked us with a magazine.

"That's probably how you two kids got in that mess in the first place," she said

while gesturing towards Em. – What an old hag!

"Oh, she's not ours, we bought her from a souvenir shop," Edward whispered back

to the woman.

She looked appalled by Edward's joke, but otherwise left us alone after that.

I wanted to kiss Edward again, but I had to remember that we weren't on our

island anymore, and one part of being in civilization was knowing when and how
much PDA was appropriate. I settled for holding his hand, and leaning my head on
his shoulder as I tried to get some rest.

Despite being comforted by Edward's presence and words, I had a sinking feeling

that life was about to get a lot more difficult than I could even imagine.

- 195 -

I hated civilization already.

- 196 -

Getting Settled

Chapter 19 – Getting Settled

With the humming of the plane engine mixed with the hardness of Edward's

shoulder, I managed to drift off to sleep and didn't wake again until we landed.

"Mama!" Em cried, waking abruptly from the plane's rough landing.

"It's ok, baby," I said while lifting her up so she could look out the window.

"That!" she said, just like she always did when she didn't know what something

was.

"We're in an airplane," Edward told her. Em watched his mouth when he said

'airplane' but then she must have decided that she wasn't going to even attempt to
say it. She had seen enough, so she curled back into my lap and waited patiently
until we were able to get off the plane.

We were positioned further back then Charlie and Esme, so they got off the plane

first and waited for us at the end of the tunnel. Charlie had an odd expression on his
face when he saw us, but Esme looked relieved, almost as if she was worried we'd
get lost on our way out.

"Hey," I said, mostly to Charlie. He looked upset about something, which worried

me a bit. "What's wrong?"

"We just have some things left to work out," Charlie said strangely.

I automatically reached for Edward's hand, but he wasn't there, he was off to the

side in what looked like a heated conversation with Esme.

"Dad, what's going on?" I asked concerned.

Charlie took a deep breath. "Esme and I spent the last couple hours on the plane

discussing you and Edward."

"Ok," I said worriedly. "What does that mean?"

"You're both seventeen, so technically you're minors." He took another deep

- 197 -

breath. "Esme is insisting that means that Edward isn't capable of living away from
her."

"What?" I asked, legitimately confused.

"Look, we haven't talked about your relationship with Edward yet, but I

figured….you have a daughter together, you've lived together for two years, so I
suggested that we agree on a living situation that would keep you together."

My stomach dropped. He didn't have to say anymore, I understood…. Esme

wanted to separate us. "So…." I was utterly speechless.

"Since your mom left I have our house all to myself, so I suggested that Edward

could stay with us, but Esme isn't ok with that. She said Edward's been gone for two
years and she wants him home. So it killed me, but I suggested you and Em go stay
at her house with Edward then…you know, just so you could all stay together, and
she's unwilling to do that either."

I could feel my anxiety creep in again. I couldn't be separated from Edward; we

had to figure something out. I looked back at Edward and Esme, and their heated
conversation looked to be cooling down, so I relaxed just a bit - he must have gotten
through to her.

I watched them carefully, and then he nodded a few times before the two of them

walked back over to us. Edward bent down and picked Em up. "We need to talk," he
said to me slowly.

His tone scared me. "Ok."

"Em, can grandma hold you for a minute?" Esme asked her gently.

Em shook her head 'no' and then tried to lean away from her.

"It's ok baby," Edward said to her, and then he handed her to Esme despite her

protests. My heart sank as she cried, and I had visions of those people ripping her
away from me in Mexico as she screamed there in Esme's arms.

"Oh, I don't want to leave her like that," I said as Edward tried to pull me to the

side.

"Hey Em, come with grandpa to see the planes?" Charlie said, taking her out of

Esme's arms. Em immediately calmed with Charlie, and funnily tried to pull at his

- 198 -

mustache.

"She's ok," Edward assured me, and then led me towards a group of empty chairs.

"So what's the arrangement?" I asked, fully expecting him to tell me how he

convinced Esme to let us stay together.

He was quiet for a moment, and then he sighed. "My mom's not going to budge.

She said I have to stay with her, and you have to stay with Charlie."

I furrowed my brows. "So what are we going to do?"

"I'm going to stay with her, and you're going to stay with Charlie," he said

unexpectedly.

"That's not funny," I said getting upset that he would joke like that.

"I know….But it's basically at night and we can be together all day."

"Wait, you agreed to that?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella, we're technically not adults yet; we don't really have a choice here."

"I can't sleep without you," I said, forcing myself not to cry.

He wrapped his arms around be, and kissed my forehead like he always did when I

was upset, but this time, it didn't calm me.

"Hey," he murmured. "Don't worry about it, ok. Everything is going to be fine."

"I can't sleep without you. I can't live on the opposite side of town as you…it'll be

like us living apart on the island again. I can't do that. And what about Em?"

"She suggested that we spilt her nights between us," he told me. I was about to

have a panic attack, so Edward rubbed my shoulders soothingly. "I know, you can't
be that far from her, even for just the night."

"Can you?" I challenged him.

"No…so don't worry about it. You'll keep her every night."

"But…"

- 199 -

"And I'll wait until my mom goes to sleep, and I'll sneak over there."

Oh…um… I really didn't know how to react to that.

"Bella, she's not going to give in to this, so what she doesn't know won't hurt her."

"Our houses are too far apart," I said absently.

"I'll ride my bike until I can get a license. I got some money from my dad's death

so I'll buy a car."

"You're going to sneak out every night, and ride your bike all the way across

town?" I asked in disbelief. "Even when it's raining?"

"I'll leave a change of clothes at your house," he said with a laugh, but I didn't

think it was funny so he sighed again. "Look, I'll do whatever I have to; besides,
when we turn eighteen she won't have a say anymore."

I inhaled sharply. I hated the idea of Edward riding his bike across town just so I

could sleep at night, but I honestly didn't think I could handle the alternative. It
wasn't going to be easy, but it seemed we didn't have a choice. "Ok," I mumbled
reluctantly.

He smiled reassuringly. "No worries?"

"There's a lot to worry about," I pouted.

He laughed once, and then draped his arm over my shoulder to lead me back to

our parents and daughter. "Come on, we have a date with a doctor."

"Ugh! This just keeps getting worse and worse."

We headed towards the airport exit, but just as we were about to walk out the

door, we were spotted.

"Oh, there she is," I heard a familiar voice say. "My baby!" I turned just in time to

briefly see my mother before she slammed into me. "I always knew you were a
survivor," she said as she cried dramatically into my hair.

Was she always so….flamboyant?

"Hi mom," I said, trying to be happy to see her, but I couldn't help but notice the

- 200 -

younger looking man gawking at our reunion.

"Oh, baby, I want you to meet Phil," she said excitedly.

"Hi," I said, having a hard time containing my bitter tone.

"You can get to know each other later. Let me look at you," she said while holding

me at arm's length. "You. Are. So. Thin. Maybe I should go on an island diet," she
tried joking, but no one laughed. "Oh my god, is that my granddaughter?" she
squealed then ran to gush over Em.

"Sorry, kid, I thought it would be better to tell her about Em myself so she had

time to let it sink in," Charlie mumbled to me.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked him.

"She's changed almost as much as you have," he said with a mix of humor and

annoyance.

I looked back at Renee just in time to see her pick Em up, but I was surprised that

she didn't cry the way she did with Esme, instead she just looked…confused. My
mother was sort of like a clown, and Em didn't know whether to laugh or be scared
shitless.

"I'll take her," I said as I took Em from Renee.

"She's so beautiful Bella," Renee said, which was the first sane thing that came

out of her mouth since our reunion.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Hey, who's that hot guy over there who was with the baby?" she whispered.

"That's Edward," I said slowly, seriously wondering if she was high on something.

"Wow, when did he get sexy?"

I rolled my eyes. I would always love my mom, but at the moment I wanted

nothing more than for her to just…go away. But, it seemed she had other plans.

"Let's go get you guys a physical," Renee said far too loudly.

- 201 -

Esme didn't want me living with them, but she did let me ride with her and

Edward; Charlie had come from work anyway and only had his police cruiser. So
Edward, Em and I went with Esme, Renee and her new boy toy drove behind us, and
Charlie in his police car was behind them. It almost felt like a funeral procession,
and made me all the more nervous.

We rented a car seat for Em at the air port, so she sat between Edward and me in

the back seat. She absolutely hated being strapped in like that and cried for the first
ten minutes, but once she noticed that we were moving, she settled in and
proceeded to 'ohhhh' and 'ahhh' out the window as we passed things she had never
seen before. Edward and I couldn't help but laugh at her, and Esme giggled from the
driver's seat as well.

When the car took the exit into Fork, it was like revisiting a dream or almost a

déjà vu. I remembered everything, but it was as if I had seen it in photos instead of
actually ever being there. So when we pulled into a parking lot of some sort, I was
seriously confused.

"Why are we here?" Edward asked Esme.

"We want to make sure you are all healthy," Esme said gently.

"I'd rather have a shower first," Edward said bitterly.

"I know sweetheart, but like after any other life threatening event, you need to be

checked out here before anything else," Esme replied.

"Life threatening event? Since when is being arrested a life threatening event?" he

asked annoyed.

"Being stranded on an island is the life threatening event. Not everyone could

have survived that."

"She's right about that," I mumbled. "I know I wouldn't have survived without

you."

"Putting you in boy scouts was the best thing I've ever done," Esme said

complacently.

Edward rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.

"The sooner we get checked out, the sooner we can leave," I tried convincing him.

- 202 -

I would never admit it out loud, but I was also agreeing with Esme to get on her
good side. She obviously didn't like me, so it was in all our best interest for me to try
to change her mind.

"Fine," Edward said with a huff. He unbuckled Em from her seat, and then we got

out of the car, but to my horrification Renee got out of her car as well, and insisted
on accompanying me into my checkup.

"I think I can handle it," I said to her uncomfortably.

"Nonsense; I'm your mother, so I'm staying with you," Renee said unfazed.

Charlie and Boy Toy stayed in their respective automobiles, but Renee and Esme

escorted us inside.

We all sat in the waiting room, but Em was called first so Edward and I took her

back together, leaving our moms to wait until we were finished. They may have been
our parents, but we were Em's and neither Edward nor I were going to let them butt
into that.

"Well, she's a healthy one year old," the doctor said after looking her over, and

even though I already knew that, I was relieved. "Since we don't know her exact
birth day, I'd say to pick a date in the next couple of weeks and throw her a huge
bash."

"That's a good idea," I said quietly, suddenly feeling horrible because I didn't

realize before then that I didn't know her birthday. What kind of mother doesn't
know her daughter's birthday?

"Talk it over, and get back to us as soon as possible so we can file all the

necessary paper work for her birth certificate," the doctor told us.

And then my heart broke as Edward had to hold Em down so the doctor could

administer her first immunizations. She screamed, of course, but the look of betrayal
she gave Edward afterwards cut him deep.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," he said, begging her for forgiveness, but the damage was

done and she wasn't in a forgiving mood….that is, until he introduced her to stickers
and lollipops, and then she was right back to being a daddy's girl again. She was just
like him - she didn't hold grudges, at least not for very long.

We went back out to meet our mom's in the waiting room, and then my name was

- 203 -

called to be seen.

"Be strong, babe," Edward whispered with a supportive smile.

"Mama going?" Em asked alarmed.

"It's ok, she'll be right back," Edward assured her.

Renee insisted on going inside with me, though it was even more embarrassing

because I had to get completely undressed and wear one of those paper robes.

The doctor came in, and after introducing herself, she got right down to business.

"So you gave birth in an unsterile environment without any medical care?"

"Um…yes," I said, feeling insecure again.

"So we need to check that as well as get a blood test to see how your body has

coped with such drastic changes. Anything else I should know of about your time on
the island?"

I thought about it. "I was bit by a poisonous snake," I said casually.

The doctor and my mother looked horrified, so I showed them the scar on my

wrist.

"So you survived by having Edward suck out the venom?" Renee asked after I told

them the entire story.

I nodded, so the doctor began writing into her notebook. "Ok, let's start the

exam."

After getting a complete physical as well as an OBGYN checkup, Renee had one

more request for the doctor.

"So, we need to make sure to get her some birth control…because I don't know if

you've seen her baby daddy, but he is H. O. T. and it's only a matter of time before
baby number two will be on its way."

As embarrassed as I was from Renee's comments and all around presence, I was

glad she mentioned it. In fact, the mere thought of birth control was the best part of
being back in civilization.

- 204 -

"Of course," the doctor replied. She then proceeded to lecture me about the risks

of sex before handing me a prescription.

When that embarrassing but highly worth it event was finished, Renee and I went

out to the waiting room and saw Esme sitting there alone.

"Edward was called inside a few minutes ago," Esme explained.

Before I could ask about Em, I saw her standing a few feet away at a side table

ripping up a magazine.

"Oh, baby, no," I said, intending to take the magazine away from her, but Esme

stopped me.

"Don't worry; I've already given the receptionist money to replace it."

"Oh…thanks," I said, still feeling like I should be stopping her.

"What's the prescription for?" Esme asked when she saw the piece of paper in my

hands.

"Uh…"

"It's birth control," Renee stage whispered. "Em is the cutest thing in the world,

but we can wait a few years before we have another grandbaby, right Esme?"

I could feel my entire face burning from Renee's uncouth comment, but Esme's

reaction was the opposite; she looked at me with that same icy glare she gave me in
Mexico.

"I…the doctor just thought it would be a good idea," I said uncomfortably.

Thankfully, Edward came out then and saved me from embarrassing myself any

further.

"So what now?" he asked Esme as we all walked out towards the parking lot.

"Well I think we should all go home for a while…" Edward's face immediately

angered, but Esme put her finger up to stop him from protesting. "Just to get
cleaned up and settled in. I know Renee would like to take Bella shopping for some
new clothes, and we definitely need to get you some things…I doubt anything you
had before would still fit."

- 205 -

"I've worn the same pair of shorts every day for the past two years. I'm sure I can

find something I can wear…sweats or something. I have no desire to separate from
Bella and Em to go shopping."

"Edward, I just want to take you home to get a shower and reacquainted with the

house and your room and such. I've invited everyone over for dinner, so you'll see
them again in a few hours," Esme argued frustrated.

"This is a good idea kids," Renee jumped in. "We have a lot to do today, so let's

divide and conquer. Come on Bella," she said as she physically pulled my hand from
Edwards and began leading me towards her car.

"Wait," I said, feeling completely out of control.

Edward quickly caught up to us and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling

me to a stop. "The sooner we do what they want, the sooner we'll be back together,"
he murmured into my ear before kissing my neck.

"Can't we just steal my dad's fishing boat and try to find another deserted island

somewhere?" I whined quietly.

He laughed. "I'll see you in a couple hours. Just pretend I'm on a hike."

I guess I could do that. "Fine…but you were the one who said I always get myself

into trouble when you leave me."

"Well, lucky for us, we have Renee to babysit you," he joked.

"Har har," I said, and had to fight the urge to pinch him.

"Do you want me to take Em?" he asked.

I was carrying her on my hip, so I hugged her closer to me and shook my head no.

"Ok," he said while leaning in to kiss Em before kissing my forehead, and walking

off towards his mother's car. Charlie got out of his cruiser and helped Edward take
Em's car seat out of Esme's car, and then they put it into Renee's.

Thankfully, we dropped Boy Toy off at the hotel, and Renee, Em and I hit the local

Target.

"It's not Bloomingdales, but it's the best Forks has," Renee said of the store. "We

- 206 -

need to get you everything," she told me as we pushed the cart through the store.
"Bras, underwear, clothes, shoes, purses, make up….Oh, and you definitely need
some lingerie."

"Lingerie?" I asked surprised.

"Oh come on Bella, you have a child and you're almost eighteen, we don't have to

pretend like you're not going to have sex again. Look at this," she said while pulling
a black lacy negligee off the hanger. "You can show him exactly what he's been
missing on that island."

Once again, my face reddened, but as she continued to move through the section

and kept her light carefree tone, I managed to force myself to lighten up as well.
She was right after all, I was definitely still planning on having sex with Edward, so I
may as well make use of the positive aspects of being back – and fun undergarments
was definitely one of them.

When our cart was full of all my 'essential' beauty products and clothing items,

Renee told me to get another basked to fill for Em's stuff.

I actually giggled with my mother as we sorted through the baby clothes.

"Look at these shoes," Renee squealed as she held up a pair of tiny pink Mary

Janes.

"Do you like them Em?" I asked her, but she obviously had no idea what they

were. "They're shoes," I told her. She had seen Edward and I wear shoes from time
to time, but she never had a pair herself.

"Shoes," she said with sudden interest.

"Yes, shoes," I told her.

"Let's try them on her," Renee said excitedly. "Every girl's best friend is

shoes….Well diamonds, and then shoes."

Renee slipped the shoe on Em's foot and although it fit, she obviously didn't like

the way it felt.

"Well, I supposed she's just going to have to get used to wearing shoes," Renee

said unfazed. "Let's buy them anyway."

- 207 -

"Mom, how can you afford all this?" I asked concerned.

"Oh don't worry about it baby. Charlie gave me some money; besides, I've missed

shopping for you."

After paying for everything, Renee brought us home…Home, it didn't sound right;

it was my childhood home, but as we walked up the familiar steps towards the old
white house, it felt like the furthest place from home.

"Did you buy out the store?" Charlie grumbled as we brought in all the bags.

"Oh Charlie, you have to see what we got," Renee said excitedly.

Please don't show him the lingerie – I thought to myself. Thankfully she wasn't as

stupid as she sometimes acted, and she mainly showed him Em's clothes.

"So…did you by any chance pick up toothbrushes? How about real baby needs like

diapers and sippy cups?" Charlie asked incredulously.

I had to be the worst mother ever. "No," I said ashamed. "I guess we forgot."

"Don't worry about it. Why don't you go take a shower; I'll run out to the store and

pick up some things," he told me reassuringly.

"Oh that's a good idea. You were always better at buying that stuff than I was,"

Renee said enthusiastically. "Go up to shower and get pretty; I'll stay here with Em
and we'll play dress up."

I felt myself roll my eyes at her, but it surprised me. Before the island I would

have loved getting 'pretty', but the fact that my dad had to be the rational one really
threw me. I should have known to get the real daily essentials for my daughter, and
I was angry with myself that I had overlooked it.

The house hadn't changed whatsoever since I had been gone, so I found my way

easy enough, and the shower felt amazing. The waterfall from the lagoon was never
cold, but it wasn't warm either, and I had forgotten how great a shower actually felt.
"Shampoo," I said to myself as I noticed the bottles there. I realized I needed to
shave, so I carefully stepped out of the shower and found my dad's razor, and
thankfully, he had some new razor heads in the drawer.

I spent a little longer than I planned in the shower, so I quickly dressed and ran

down to check on Em. She was napping sweetly on the couch, but she was wearing a

- 208 -

huge pink tutu that I didn't even notice Renee had bought.

"She is just the sweetest little thing," Renee said adoringly.

"Thanks….how much stuff did you try on her?" I asked horrified as I noticed all the

tags on the floor and the huge pile of baby clothes sprawled out over the couch.

"Oh, I only got two outfits on her before she conked out…" She paused to look at

me strangely.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Honey….are you wearing a shirt?"

I looked down at myself and realized that I was just wearing the pants I had

brought up, and nothing else. My hair was covering my breasts, but it was still
terribly embarrassing.

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled before running back up the stairs. Thank god Charlie

wasn't home.

"Put on some makeup while you're up there!" she called after me.

I put a bra on for the first time in over a year, and then one of my new tops. It felt

strange, but then again, everything felt strange at that point. Then I took my
mother's advice and put on some makeup. It was nowhere near as much as I used to
wear, but enough to make me look a little less…blah. Having a mirror to look at
myself in made me realize just how plain of a face I actually had, and I wondered
how Edward was able to find me attractive at all.

Charlie came home a while later, and I was surprised by how much he bought. A

car seat, a high chair, sippy cups, formula – the doctor said she needed it for calcium
, diapers, wipes, and even a crib that he planned to set up in my room.

"Wow, thanks dad," I said quietly, not wanting to wake Em up from her nap.

He smiled kindly. "Well, I'm happy to do it. Having you two girls in the house is

going to be a really good thing."

Since Em was still sleeping, Renee convinced me to let Charlie stay with her so I

could get a haircut. Luckily the place wasn't busy, so I was able to get in and out
and back home to Em before she even realized I was gone.

- 209 -

"Looks great, kid," Charlie said when he saw my haircut. I only trimmed off a few

inches, but the woman had blown it out and straightened it, which made it look so
much more shiny and healthy.

"You'd never know she was just stranded on an island a couple days ago, right?"

Renee asked with a smile. "Well, besides that amazing tan and her killer abs."

After putting all our new things away, I couldn't help but look up at the clock.

"Can we go to the Cullen's yet?" I asked Charlie eagerly.

"I think that would be ok. I'll call Esme to make sure."

"I'm going to head out at pick up Phil. We'll see you there," Renee said to me with

a kiss to my cheek.

"Thanks mom."

Em was still sleeping, but I couldn't wait any longer so I woke her up. "Ready to

go see daddy?" I asked her.

"Dada?" she asked groggily.

"Come on, let's go see him," I said while peppering her face with kisses and

making her giggle.

Even though it had only been about three hours since I saw Edward last, it felt like

a long time and I just wanted to be in his arms again.

"They're ready for us," Charlie said after hanging up the phone.

I scooped Em up, grabbed the diaper bag, and then practically ran out the door….

- 210 -

Appearances

Chapter 20 –Appearances

I had never been to the Cullen's house before; in fact I wasn't even sure where it

was. But then Charlie drove to the outskirts of town before pulling into a driveway,
and I was surprised by the massive house stretched out in front of me.

"Whoa," I said, mostly to myself.

"It's a pretty big place, isn't it," Charlie replied. "Which is another reason why I

don't understand why you can't stay there with him," he grumbled.

I didn't understand it either, but I accepted it since it seemed there was no

changing Esme's mind. Edward promised to come to me every night anyway, so it
didn't matter anymore.

"That?" Em asked, pointing at the large house.

"That's Grandma Esme's house," I told her. "Daddy's in there."

"Dada!"

"Yeah, dada," I said with a smile.

We walked up the steps and I hesitantly knocked on the door, suddenly feeling

nervous. I didn't know what to expect, but I certainly wasn't expecting someone
other than Esme or Edward to open the door.

"Who are you?" the blonde supermodel-wannabe asked without any other form of

a greeting.

"Um…Bella," I said quietly, feeling a bit underdressed in comparison to what she

was wearing.

"Never heard of you….Oh, are you that girl that Edward was marooned with?"

"Um, yeah," I replied.

"I think you know who we are, Rose," Charlie said irritated.

- 211 -

"I was only joking Officer Swan," she said with a fake smile before moving aside

and letting us in.

"Bella, Charlie, so glad you could make it," Esme said while breezing in to greet

us. She too was dressed much fancier than the jeans and casual top I was wearing,
which made me slouch into myself as a way to hide my embarrassment of my
clothes. "There's my beautiful girl," she said to Em, but Em just curled into me shyly
and tried to hide also. "Well, I'm sure we'll get to know each other better when you
stay here with daddy."

I was about to tell her that Em wouldn't be staying there at all, but I figured I'd let

Edward handle that.

"Where's Edward?" I asked intimidated.

"My entire family has come over for dinner to meet you guys and welcome Edward

home…but he's being a little antisocial. I think he's in his room."

"Oh, is it up stairs?" I assumed, intending to retreat from her presence and go find

him.

"His room is upstairs, but you can just stay here while I go get him," she said

before turning and heading up the stairs.

Charlie, Em, and I stood awkwardly in the foyer, and listened to the loud chatter

of the group of people in the other room. I really didn't feel like meeting people and
socializing with anyone, but if that was the only way to see Edward at the moment,
than I could definitely handle it.

The fact that Esme was having a party and didn't warn us to dress appropriately

was really making me increasingly anxious, but I had to admit, I was more than a
little excited by the idea of seeing Edward all cleaned up and dressed nicely. I could
imagine how sexy he'd look in a pair of Dockers and a button down shirt, or even a
pair of really well fitted jeans.

Except…

"Hey," Edward said with a smile as he came down the stairs. I was absolutely

shocked by his appearance; he was wearing a pair of grey holy sweats and a faded
Van Halen T shirt, he wasn't shaved, and his hair was just as unkempt as when we
were on the island.

- 212 -

"Dada!" Em reached for him, so he smiled and took her out of my arms before

kissing her chubby cheeks.

"We missed you," I told him with a smile.

"I missed you guys like crazy," he replied while hugging Em closer.

"I'll give you guys a few minutes," Charlie mumbled as he put on a brave face and

walked towards the awaiting crowd in the kitchen.

I leaned over Em to kiss Edward's lips, but it stayed strangely chaste, and I

wondered if he was just as uncomfortable in the large stuffy house as I was.

"What have you been doing?" I asked.

He shrugged absently while tugging at Em's girly getup. "Is this Renee's doing, or

yours?" he asked, and if I didn't know any better, I could have sworn there was a
slight edge to his tone.

"Renee's, but I guess it's a good thing with the party and all," I said with a laugh,

struggling to keep my tone light. "You're not dressed for the occasion?" It didn't
matter what he was wearing, he was gorgeous in anything, but I had to ask.

He looked past me towards the crowd in the kitchen, and scoffed. "They're not

here to see me all fixed up, they came to gawk at the wild island boy. I'm just an
episode of 'Survivor Man' to them."

"Oh…" I said unsure of how else to respond.

"Come on, let's go up to my room," he said. He didn't wait for a response; he just

grabbed my arm and tugged me behind him.

"Um, I don't think your mom wants me upstairs," I said as we went.

"My mom doesn't 'want' a lot of things, but it's about time she learns she doesn't

always get what she wants," he replied carelessly.

Even the second floor of the house was huge, and by the time we reached his

bedroom I had no idea which way we had come.

"Wow," I said when we entered the room. He had six shelves full of books and

CDs, and hanging on the walls were things that looked like they belonged in a

- 213 -

museum.

"Oh, I told her that Em probably won't be staying here, but I think she bought that

just in case," he said, confusing me - but then I saw what he was talking about, there
was a crib in the corner of the room.

"Well, that's ok, she can nap in there when we're here," I told him with a smile.

Edward shut the door while putting Em down to explore the room, and then he

turned to me like he was going to embrace me, but instead froze and looked at me
oddly.

"What?" I asked, thinking I had something on my face….and I guess I did.

"Are you wearing makeup?"

"Oh, yeah…Renee bought me all new stuff, so I just figured…" I let my sentence

trail off with a shrug; Edward's expression was making me wish that I hadn't put any
on at all. "Does it look stupid?"

"No, it doesn't look stupid," he said quickly. "I'm just not used to it….It looks

good," he said with a pathetic attempt to sound sincere. "You cut your hair too?"

I bit my bottom lip. "It was really dry and tangled," I told him insecurely.

"It looks nice," he mumbled.

We stood there in an awkward silence for a few unbearably long moments.

But then – "Oh, baby don't do that," I said when I noticed Em destroying one of

Edward's books - she seemed to find tearing paper very interesting. I bent down to
take the book from her, and felt terrible about the amount of damage she had
already done. "I'm sorry, Edward. I really don't know why she did that."

"Bella, why are you apologizing to me?" he asked legitimately confused.

"Well, she…"

"She's my daughter too; you don't need to apologize to me for her behavior. She

didn't even do anything wrong anyway. She's one; I don't expect her to behave
perfectly, especially since she's never even seen stuff like this before." He sat down
on the floor and pulled Em on his lap before grabbing a different book and opening

- 214 -

it up to show her.

"I just didn't want her ruining your things," I said quietly.

"There is absolutely nothing in this room that I care about anymore," he said

honestly, taking me aback.

I understood what he meant, but it made me a little upset as well. I could see the

kid he used to be in that room from his boy scout medals, to his chess boards and
science books. Edward wasn't that guy anymore, but the fact that he didn't hold any
sentimental value in any of it was definitely sad.

"It's all really neat though," I tried convincing him as I looked through different

things.

"I used to wipe my boogers on that," he said of the chair my hand was resting on.

"What?" I asked disturbed.

He laughed. "I'm kidding. Wow, you actually believed that?"

"No…I..."

"Jeeze, Bella, I may have been a nerd but that doesn't mean I was

disgusting….well, at least not in the hygiene department," he said with another
laugh, but his words were definitely tainted with some underlying bitterness.

Em had gotten off Edward and wandered away to investigate something else that

interested her, so I used his empty lap to my advantage - I plopped myself down on
top of him, straddling his outstretched legs, and planted my lips to his. He was
surprised by my attack, but he grabbed onto me tightly and returned the kiss with
fervor.

I knotted my hands in his hair and his hands moved under my shirt to the skin on

my back, and all the stress of the past few hours melted away. Troubles always
seemed inconsequential when we were in each other's arms, and with the tension
that had been between us, I think we both needed that relief.

"Eh-hum," someone said abruptly, breaking our kiss. Edward and I both looked

towards the doorway and I was embarrassed to see Esme standing there looking
cross, especially since I didn't even hear the door open. "What is going on in here?"

- 215 -

"What does it look like?" Edward asked her condescendingly.

"I asked that you stay downstairs," she said evenly.

"How does it feel to ask for something and not get it?"

"Edward," she questioned him incredulously.

"Mom, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room - Oh shit, call the police, or

maybe you should call your shrink back over to reevaluate me some more because
I'm obviously insane and being manipulated. What was it he said I had – Post
Traumatic Stress Syndrome? Yep, that's got to be it. I mean just look at Bella, she's
been stranded on an island for two years but she definitely is a delinquent so I have
to be crazy to want to be with her."

"I just don't want the door shut," Esme said defensively.

"Oh, that's right; never mind that our daughter is right over there, the door was

shut so that has to mean we're in here fucking like rabbits, right? And why the hell
would you care if we were anyway? It's not like I'm some innocent virgin messing
with the town tramp. Trust me, Bella doesn't have syphilis."

"Wha…" Esme didn't know what to say to that, and frankly, neither did I.

"We're not doing anything wrong, so please just go make sure all the outlets are

covered. I may get confused and stick a fork in one or something," he said while
staring her down, challenging her to say anything else.

She looked at him like he just slapped her across the face, then she turned and

glared at me for a minute before slowly backing out of the room, making sure to
leave the door open as she left.

"Um… What brought that on?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Seriously? She was being ridiculous. It's bad enough that she won't let us stay

together, but she's got give me all these rules like I'm some kid up here with my first
girlfriend."

"I thought I was your first girlfriend?"

"That's beside the point," he said, trying to stay serious but smiling despite

himself.

- 216 -

"Did she really bring a shrink here?"

"Yeah, I said I didn't want to go shopping, so she called over some nut job that's

just as crazy as she is."

"Why would she do that?" I asked legitimately confused.

"She said it was just an initial meeting and he'd help ease me back into my old life,

or some shit like that. But the guy was a quack; he said I'm going to have a hard
time adjusting and relearning how to live in society. I mean really, how much could
the world have changed in two years?"

I shrugged. "It seems pretty different to me," I admitted.

"Only cause we're parents now…but having a kid is a life changing event for

anyone."

We both automatically looked back at Em, and she was chewing on something.

"What is she eating?" I asked, immediately getting up to take whatever it was from
her.

"Oh, I think it's just my leftovers. I was eating a sandwich a little bit ago."

"Oh, are you hungry, baby?" I said while picking her up.

"I can run down and get her something from the kitchen," Edward said while

getting up and heading towards the door.

"Why don't we all just go down?" I said hesitantly. "I mean, my parents are here,

and everyone else did come over to see you, so we may as well go put on a brave
face and see them."

He sighed. "I guess it can't be worse than trekking through a snake infested

stretch of jungle."

I laughed. "No, it can't be worse than that….but maybe just as deadly," I joked.

"Maybe this time you can suck me," he said casually.

I stared at him in humorous shock. "And I thought your 'handy' jokes were bad," I

said after a moment.

- 217 -

"What? Nah, we're past the handy stage."

"So now we're on the 'public blowjob' joke phase?"

"Who said I was joking? … Oh, don't look at me like that; you know I have no

problem dropping trou in front of everyone. Especially since the last action I got was
from a Mexican prison guard who wouldn't even give me his number afterwards.
Although, I have to admit, the cavity search was pretty fun."

"Oh, shut up, you did not get a cavity search," I said while laughing.

"No, but that would have been nice."

"You really are horny, aren't you? No wonder you're grumpy."

"I'm about two seconds from slipping my mom a sleeping pill and heading over to

your house right away. Em will be out for the night as soon as it gets dark out, but
don't plan on getting any sleep yourself."

I giggled. "Promise?"

"Just wait."

"Ok, well until it gets dark out, we have a little girl that wants something to eat, so

let's suck it up and get this party over with."

"Suck it up?" he asked suggestively with a smirk.

"Ugh, I think I liked the handy jokes better."

"Still not joking," he said with a serious tone as we grabbed Em and headed down

the stairs.

"Speaking of dropping trou though, where did you get these if you didn't go

shopping?" I asked while tugging on his sweatpants. They were holy, but fit him in
length which would have been way too long for him two years prior.

"Oh, they were my dad's. I'm about his size now; well I'm a little taller actually."

"Oh…that's cool...And it's great your mom kept some of his stuff after all these

years."

- 218 -

"Are you kidding? She kept all of his stuff. The woman hasn't gotten rid of

anything since he died; my bedroom hasn't been touched since I went missing
either. The woman doesn't know how to let go and move on with her life, and she
thinks I need therapy."

I bit my bottom lip. "Well, I don't know if I could either," I admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"When we were in Mexico and both you and Em were taken from me….that

feeling….it was the worst thing in the entire world, and I don't think I could have
been able to get past it if I didn't get you both back. I can't help but imagine that's
how she felt after losing your dad then thinking you were dead as well…Getting you
back now has probably just made her scared to death of losing you again."

I didn't understand Esme's hatred towards me, but I could sympathize with her

desire to keep Edward close by considering all she had lost.

He was quiet as he thought about it, but then his features hardened. "Being afraid

to lose something doesn't necessarily mean you're truly meant to have it….it can just
means you're afraid of change."

I didn't know exactly what he meant by that or who he was actually talking about,

but I didn't have time to question him either; we were about to step into the kitchen,
and officially back into society.

I squeezed Edward's hand, and held Em just a little closer.

Edward's great aunt squealed when we came into view, causing Em and I both to

cower. "A little jumpy, aren't you?" his aunt asked me as the crowd engulfed us.

"Oh Maggie, give the girl a break, this has to be overwhelming for her," Esme

surprisingly came to my defense. "She's not used to so many people."

"Is that why you didn't want us all coming over?" the chubby old busy body asked.

"One of the many reasons," Esme replied with a forced smile.

"I guess we shouldn't have insisted then."

After learning more names than I could possibly remember, I randomly locked

eyes with Charlie and couldn't help but feel slightly better that he looked just as

- 219 -

uncomfortable as I was; Renee, on the other hand, was loving all the company.

I rolled my eyes at my mother's enthusiasm for gossip. I realized then that I

probably would have ended up just like her if it weren't for the island - Thank god
for my clumsy fall overboard.

"Want to get Em some food then go outside?" Edward asked me quietly after we

greeted everyone.

"Yes please," I said eagerly.

But perhaps going outside was a bad decision…

"Bella, Bella, come sit with us," a girl with a high pitched pixy voice said as she

came skipping over to us.

"Um, ok," I said, looking at Edward questionably as the strange girl pulled me by

the arm towards the picnic bench on the lawn where three other people were
already sitting, including that Rose chick. Ugh!

"Bella, this is my cousin Alice," Edward introduced us.

"We know each other already," Alice cut him off. "You remember me, right?" she

asked me.

"Uh…of course," I lied.

"We had geometry together….well, I was a freshman and you were a sophomore,

but we sat two rows apart…" I guess she could tell that I still didn't recognize her,
so she added - "We were partners once for a project."

"Oh, Alice, right," I said with my friendliest smile.

"You still don't remember me, do you?"

"No, I'm sorry," I admitted. "But, to be honest, I'm just a little overwhelmed and

having a hard time remembering everything from before."

"Or, you don't remember her because she wasn't one of the popular kids," Rose

jumped in.

"Rose!" the guy sitting next to her chided her, and then he turned to me with a

- 220 -

smile and outstretched hand. "I'm Emmett…I see you named your daughter after
me. Emmett, Em…pretty close."

"I never even met you before today," Edward said to him incredulously while I

shook his hand.

"Oh, right."

"Emmett is Rose's boyfriend," Edward explained.

"And Rose is…" I asked, not knowing exactly how he was related to the super

model wonder bitch.

"My cousin….on my dad's side."

"Oh… So Alice is your cousin on your mom's side?" I asked unsure.

"Yep."

"And…" I said gesturing towards the other guy there.

"Oh, sorry, I'm Jasper…. Alice's boyfriend. Don't worry, I'm not a past

acquaintance that you don't remember, I moved here not long after you guys went
missing. Read about you in the newspaper though, pretty interesting…Well, not
interesting, but…you know."

"Yeah, I got it," I said with a smile.

"So are you guys going back to school?" Alice asked unexpectedly.

School?- something I thankfully hadn't given two thoughts about in years.

"We haven't even been back for twenty four hours yet," Edward told her. "Maybe

you can give us some time to decompress and think about everything."

"It's not like they could just waltz into the twelfth grade anyway," Rose said

smugly. "They've missed two years, they'd have to go back to being sophomores."

"Technically they could take an entrance exam and have tutors and extra classes

to help them make up the credits," Jasper told her. "They probably wouldn't
graduate on time, but with the extenuating circumstance the school may allow them
to walk regardless."

- 221 -

"Oh, say you'll come back to school with us, we can be best friends," Alice said

excitedly.

Uh….

"Well, I would say this has been fun, but it hasn't, so I won't," Edward said before

picking up Em, and grabbing my hand to lead me away from the group.

"Ok, just think about it though," Alice called after us.

"This," Em said as she crumbled a cracker all down Edward's back.

I giggled and brushed him off. "Well, your cousins are….nice," I said to Edward,

not knowing how else to describe them.

"I think the best description for Rose is 'bitch', and Alice is fit for a straight

jacket," he replied.

I wasn't paying attention to where he was leading us, but I suddenly realized no

one was around.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Oh, just the side of the house, I used to always come over here to hide," he

explained. He put Em back down to toddle around, so I decided to take a much
needed break from being civilized by burying my hands under his shirt and holding
onto his bare torso from behind. I already missed the feeling of his skin pressed
against mine, and if that incredibly long day didn't end soon so he could sneak over
to my dad's house to make love to me, I was sure to lose it.

"Mmm, that feels good," he said as I rubbed his stomach muscles.

I stretched up on my tip toes to kiss the back of his neck. "How many hours until

you'll be crawling through my bedroom window?"

He chuckled. "I'm not sure…but definitely not soon enough."

He turned in my arms so we could be face to face, and then he leaned down to

kiss me. But I was taken aback by the intensity of his kiss. What I thought was going
to be just soft tender had erupted into something else, something I never felt before.
It was more than raw passion, it was almost angry, possessive even, and it definitely
took my breath away.

- 222 -

I wanted to ask him about the kiss, but the moment he pulled back he said -

"Come on, we should get back before my mom sends out a search party."

"Oh…okay," I said feeling a little flustered.

We braved the crowd again, but I couldn't help but be grateful when Charlie asked

if I was ready to leave.

"Did you want to come over for awhile Edward?" Charlie asked. "I can bring you

back in awhile."

Edward took a deep breath. "No, I think I'm going to hang out for a little bit

longer and then go to bed early," he replied unexpectedly. I automatically looked
around for Esme thinking she had to have given him a look of disapproval or
something, but she wasn't around.

"You can ask your mom, she might say its ok," I told Edward.

But he shook his head no. "It's almost dark and Em will be going to sleep anyway."

"Well come over and tuck her in then," I said, sounding a little more desperate

that I intended.

"You have the phone number here, right? Just call me if she has trouble going to

sleep…But I have a feeling she'll be out for the night during the car ride there."

As if on cue, Em yawned widely so Edward gave her a bunch of kisses before

walking us out to Charlie's car, and snapping her in her car seat.

"Daddy will see you in the morning, ok?" held to her softly.

"Dada going?" Em said, but then she yawned again and was too tired to really care

what was going on.

"I'll see you later," Edward whispered to me after kissing my forehead.

I nodded absently, still confused as to why he didn't accept Charlie's invitation.

Em was fast asleep before we even hit the end of the street, so when we arrived at

Charlie's house, I carried her right up the stairs and carefully undressed her before
putting her in the crib.

- 223 -

I felt weird about leaving her in that room by herself, but I wasn't ready to go to

bed just yet, so I reluctantly walked downstairs to spend some one on one time with
Charlie.

"I ordered a pizza," he said when he saw me.

"Didn't we just eat?" I asked with a laugh.

"Was that even real food?" he joked.

"It was a bit…fancy," I agreed.

"I was thinking more like…small."

"Ok, well pizza sounds…good," I lied. Pizza actually sounded horrible, especially

after the nasty stuff we had at the consulate.

Charlie and I talked a bit, and laughed as we caught up. He told me everything

that had been happening in Forks since I was gone, and I told him different stories I
had from the island….well, the G rated stories anyway. He was very interested in
how we survived, so I told him about Edward's Swiss Army knife and how he made
the spear. I described our cottage, and even admitted to how much I missed it. I also
told him about Em's baby days, and how excited we were when she took her first
steps.

It felt good to talk about everything; it was almost like looking at an old photo

album or something, but it did make me miss the island even more and the fact that
Edward wasn't there at the moment only added to it.

After we ate pizza and watched a little TV, I decided to call it a night and

impatiently wait for Edward in my room, but that was when all the un-island-y food
hit me. I spent the next couple hours in and out of the bathroom getting so sick that
I could hardly see straight afterwards, and the next thing I knew I was waking in my
bed with the daylight seeping in through my window.

It had been a miserable night and I must've eventually fallen asleep without even

realizing it, but the worst part of the entire thing was that I was fairly positive that
Edward never came….

- 224 -

Fish

Chapter 21 - Fish

I didn't care that it was six in the morning; I called the Cullen house right away

after discovering that Edward didn't come.

"Hello?" Esme answered.

"Mrs. Cullen, hi….um, is Edward there?"

"It's six in the morning Bella, I'm sure he's sleeping."

"Oh…uh….do you mind waking him up?" I asked like a moron. I should have

known she's say no but I was anxious and desperate.

"Is something wrong with Em?" she asked worriedly.

"No, but…uh…I just really need to talk to him."

"You know, he was up late last night sick, so I think it's best to let him sleep for a

little while longer."

"He's sick? Oh no, I was too," I said, somewhat relieved that there wasn't a more

serious reason as to why he didn't show.

"Are you feeling ok now?" she asked, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think she

almost sounded concerned.

"Oh, I feel much better this morning, thanks for asking. Were you up all night with

Edward?" I asked, assuming her over protectiveness would keep her by his bed side.

"Well, I probably would have been, but he yelled at me and then locked me out of

his room," she said with a little laugh. "I'm glad you feel better Bella, and I'll have
Edward call you when he wakes up."

"Thank you," I said politely.

I went to hang up the phone, but before I could lift my hand from the receiver, I

was grabbed from behind.

- 225 -

"Ah!" I screamed startled by the unexpected embrace.

"It's just me," Edward hushed me.

"Edward? Oh my god, what are you doing here? I just called your house and your

mom said you were sick in bed."

He laughed. "I was sick, but I promised I'd be here, so here I am."

"You shouldn't have come if you were sick, how long have you been here?"

"I got here around one."

"One this morning? Why weren't you in bed with me?"

"I climbed through your window but you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake

you. Besides, I was still throwing up every hour or so and thought you might catch it
if I laid with you."

"I was sick too. I must have just fallen asleep right before you got here," I said

while wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tightly. "What were you doing
downstairs?" I mumbled into his neck.

"Uh," he said with a laugh. "Your dad caught me going in and out of the bathroom

and said I could just sleep on the couch if I was worried about waking you and Em."

"Oh," I said while hugging him even tighter.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked me.

"Yep, you?"

"I am now," he said while kissing my hair. "Is Em up yet?" he asked after a minute.

"She wasn't when I first came down; I better go up to check on her."

"I'll go," he said eagerly, so I smiled and waited there as he rushed up the stairs. It

was obvious that he had a hard time being away from her as well.

"Well, that was an interesting night," Charlie grumbled as he walked into the

room to make some coffee.

- 226 -

"Sorry dad, Edward and I were both pretty sick last night; we didn't mean to wake

you."

"It's not a problem. Just curious though, was his midnight visit going to be a

regular thing?"

I thought about fibbing, but Charlie didn't deserve to be lied to so I nodded

sheepishly.

"Now Bells, you know I support whatever you kids need, but I am a cop and he's

only seventeen, so…" he sighed. "I really have no idea where you found this," he said
while sliding me a small silver key over the counter.

I raised my brows at him.

"Now don't look at me like that; this isn't easy for me but I think keeping you apart

will only do more damage than good. I figure he'll be coming over here whether I
like it or not, so we don't need him breaking his neck while climbing up the tree to
get in through your window.

I smiled and then hugged him. "Thanks dad."

"I have no idea what you're thanking me for," he grumbled.

"Right," I played along.

"Hi!" Em said excitedly as her and Edward came into view.

"Hi baby!" I said just as excitedly back.

Edward was helping her walk down the stairs, which she was absolutely getting a

kick out of. "This," she said, pointing down to show me what she was doing.

"I see baby, those are stairs."

"Well, I'm going to be late for work," Charlie said while going over to kiss Em's

head, before kissing mine. "Edward," he said with a nod.

"See-ya, Charlie," Edward replied. "So…what are we going to do today?" he asked

me.

I shrugged and smiled. "How about…nothing?"

- 227 -

He smiled back at me. "Sounds perfect."

Edward and I still didn't feel well, so we fed Em but opted to skip breakfast

ourselves, then the three of us curled up together and watched a movie, but of
course it wasn't long before the phone rang and I had a pretty good idea who it was.

"Hello?"

"Bella, its Esme…Is Edward there?"

I looked over at Edward and he looked absolutely irritated, but he held his hand

out for the phone anyway.

"Yes mom, I haven't been kidnapped, I'm here so you can call off the

police…..Well, that's nice, I wanted to spend the day with my kid, so that's why I'm
here instead of there….Yep, sure," he said sourly before hanging up the phone.

"Does she want you to go back?" I asked concerned.

"Don't really care what she wants," he said evenly before changing the subject.

"Look at Em completely mesmerized by the TV, maybe there's truth to the whole 'TV
rots the brain' thing."

I laughed. "I doubt it; I never watched much TV and I was still pretty stupid

before."

He looked at me disapprovingly. "You were never stupid….Misguided, but not

stupid."

"I think we were both a little misguided by our mothers," I said suggestively.

"Touché," he agreed.

"It's kind of funny if you think about it, we both became completely different when

we were away from the people who influenced us the most."

"Yeah, well, who will we be now that we're back?" he asked absently.

"We are who we are," I said, confused as to what he meant exactly. "I mean, we

may change a little, but we'll always be us…right?"

"I hope so," he mumbled.

- 228 -

"You don't sound too sure?"

"If the island has taught me anything, it's that nothing in life is certain. I mean,

the future is always changing and I'm just not sure where we're going from here. On
the island it was simple, we were us and that's all we could be, but here…." he let
his words trail off.

"It doesn't matter where we are or where we'll go…we're a family, so we'll be

together," I stated – It wasn't a question in my mind, except the longer he hesitated,
the more I doubted he felt the same way. "Right?" I prompted him when he still
didn't reply.

"Of course we'll be together; we have Em," he said with a forced smile.

"And we have each other," I told him strongly.

He looked at me strangely and I felt like he said a million things in that one look,

except I didn't understand the words. After just a few days off the island, were we
already back to speaking a different language, and it absolutely terrified me.

"Each other is still all we'll ever have," I reiterated, much quieter and praying he'd

just nod or give me some kind of sign that he felt the same way.

He still didn't respond verbally, but he wound his fingers into mine and then lifted

our conjoined hands to kiss my knuckles. My chest tightened as a response. I
expected him to put my hand down after that, but instead he pleasantly surprised
me by kissing my wrist next, and then left a trail of kisses up my arm and onto my
shoulder before tucking his face under my hair to kiss my neck.

I shuddered….in the best possible way.

"How lone until Em's nap?" he whispered before kissing behind my ear.

"An hour or so," I said with a longing sigh.

"Ok," he said unfazed. He pulled back and lifted Em off my lap before moving her

to the other side of him. She didn't protest the move, she didn't even seem to notice;
she was still completely engrossed in the television.

Edward scooted closer to me, and I couldn't help but smile as he leaned in to

attach his lips to mine. We weren't about to leave Em to go have sex, but we could
definitely use her distraction to our advantage and make out like a couple of

- 229 -

teenagers.

God I wanted him. It had been far too long since we had sex last, and I just needed

to have that feeling again. Civilized life was hard, but add in the fact that something
was always getting between us and physical intimacy, and I was about to go crazy.
He was my soft spot, my safe place, and sex was more than just sex for us - it was
comfort - the feeling of being whole….We needed to be whole again.

I wasn't paying attention to the clock so I had no idea how long we were making

out for, but something made me glance at Em and thankfully she had mercy on us
and fell fast asleep.

"Make sure the door is locked," I said in a rush. Edward jumped up to check the

door while I put couch pillows all around Em so she wouldn't get hurt if she fell in
her sleep, and then Edward and I rushed up the stairs.

We didn't even make it to my bedroom before we had to stop to kiss again. He

pushed me against the wall and pressed his pelvis into mine, showing me just how
much he wanted me. I could easily feel his erection through our respective
sweatpants, and it made me whimper with desire even more.

Every inch of me was a live wire, so when he pushed his hand down the front of

my pants to grab a hold of my sex, I nearly exploded.

"We…need," I couldn't even talk, but he understood well enough so he pulled his

hand out so we could complete our whirlwind journey to my bedroom.

Our clothes seemed to peel away from our bodies as we finally made it to my bed,

but the bounce and squeak that the mattress made as we fell onto it suddenly made
us both laugh. It was an odd sound for us, something we had definitely never heard
from our time on the island.

"This is too soft," I told him.

"Definitely," he said huskily before lifting my naked body up, and plopping me

down on the carpeted floor next to my bed.

I giggled, but the anticipation was driving me crazy so the need to laugh quickly

dissolved.

Except…

- 230 -

"Crap!" I said remembering something.

"What?" he asked, sounding just as desperate as I was feeling.

"My doctor said I couldn't start the pill until after my period."

"Yeah, well my doctor gave me these," he replied with a huge grin as he pulled a

bunch of condoms out of his pocket and sprinkled them on the floor next to us.

It felt like Christmas.

"Open one!" I said eagerly.

Edward quickly tore one while I put the rest on the side table, but then he just

kind of stared at it.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Um…not really sure how to put it on," he admitted.

I laughed once. "I thought you aced Sex Ed?" I joked as I grabbed the condom

from him and slowly rolled it down his length.

"I thought you didn't?" he asked me strangely.

"I didn't ace anything, which is just one more of the million reasons why I'm glad

we were on that island."

I wasn't about to let any more awkward moments invade our time, especially not

right then, so I bent down and kissed his lower stomach before kissing up his body
towards his mouth. When my tongue met his, his momentary strange mood
disappeared like it was never even there. He flipped us over so he could be on top,
but when I playfully refused to open my legs for him, he growled making me
shudder…in the best possible way – I loved it when he got all assertive and primal.

He entered me slowly, savoring the feeling; of course it didn't feel as good as it

should with the barrier, but he was still inside of me, and there wasn't a better
feeling in the world than that.

We moved together with the perfect blend of pushing and pulling, giving and

taking, but as the sensation continued to build, I felt a brief second of that
aggressive possession that was in his kiss the day before. He didn't hurt me and he

- 231 -

wasn't physically forceful in any way, it was on an emotional level, which I couldn't
even begin to understand.

Edward was the sweetest most compassionate person I had ever known….except,

maybe there was something buried inside of him, something dark, something I was
only getting the tiniest glimpse of but had the potential to erupt and destroy
everything in its path.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared – not of him, but for him.

But all those thoughts and uneasy feelings only lasted a second, and then I was

right back in the moment with Edward. It didn't matter what I thought I saw or what
I wasn't sure I felt, all that mattered was that we were together in the present, and I
was definitely going to enjoy it.

The heat devoured me, searing through every vein until I was nothing but a

pulsating languid ragdoll, lying helplessly in his arms. After he climaxed, he
collapsed on top of me, covering every inch of me with his perfect form; it was
absolutely bliss.

We held each other for awhile, before finally convincing ourselves to pull away

and get redressed so we could go back down to check on Em.

"We're going to do this again later today, right?" I asked him, unsure if I could

stand to leave the room if he wasn't one hundred percent positive we'd have sex
again that day.

"Oh yeah," he said with his crooked smiled that I loved so much.

"Promise?"

"I promise," he assured me.

"Ok."

We walked down the stairs hand in hand, and then cuddled quietly on the Lazy

Boy, just watching our daughter sleep and waiting for her to wake up. We didn't
need to really speak right then, just being together and continuing to bask in the
afterglow of finally making love again was enough for us. But after a while, he began
playing with the twine ring on my finger.

"You don't have to wear this anymore," he mumbled unexpectedly.

- 232 -

"You made me this ring; it's a symbol of our perfect lives together on the island,

and I'm going to wear it all my life," I told him doubtlessly.

"Yeah, but eventually something made like that, something so fragile and organic,

it's going to fall victim to the harsh elements of living here, and it's going to break
down until there's nothing left," he said emotionlessly.

My heart jumped, and then suddenly I became defensive. "It most certainly is not.

It's strong, and it'll be absolutely fine."

"I hope that's the case."

"Well, I know that's the case," I told him assuredly.

Em woke up a little while later, and Edward and I decided we better attempt to

eat some lunch, though nothing sounded good whatsoever.

"Charlie really needs a personal shopper," Edward said as he looked through the

pantry.

"I think he mainly eats at the diner."

"Ok, what do you feel like?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I can't think of anything."

"We could go to the store and buy something," he suggested.

"Oh, well, Charlie said he'd leave me some money, but I think he forgot."

"I have money," he said while pulling a wad of cash out of his pocket to show me.

"Where did you get all of that?"

"I did….things," he said, playfully cryptic.

"Oh please don't tell me that you've turned to stripping," I teased. "I mean, I

would pay to see you take your clothes off, but I don't want anyone else to."

"I made this money before we were on the island, and I highly doubt anyone would

have paid to see me strip back then."

- 233 -

"So where did you get it?"

"You're going to laugh at me."

"I would never," I said, trying to force myself not to smile.

"I recycled cans….and did all my chores."

"Wait…this was your allowance savings?" I asked humorously. "What did you have

to do for it, keep your room clean and do the dishes?" I couldn't help it, I started
laughing.

"See, I knew you were going to make fun of me, but this is hard earned money;

you try making your bed when you have a rather large gut in the way."

"Ahh, honey," I said with faux sympathy. "Come here." I pulled his head down so it

was resting on my shoulder, and I rubbed the back of his neck soothingly.

"Doing chores is a respectable way to earn money when you're fourteen," he

mumbled into my shirt.

"That's right, it is…and recycling cans."

And like all the other times Edward and I embraced, Em came over and hugged

my leg to be part of it.

"Awww, look how cute the three of you are together!" Renee's voice squealed as

she unwelcomingly barged into the kitchen through the back door.

"Um, mom, you don't live here anymore, so shouldn't you…you know, knock?" I

asked, bitter that she interrupted us.

"Nonsense, your dad would never ask me to do that….Hell, I was the one who

painted that door, so why should I have to knock on it?"

I rolled my eyes. "What are you doing here?" I asked irritated.

"I came to see my girls…and their hunky guy," she said with a wink towards

Edward. "Oh, and here, I filled your prescription for you."

I took the brown bag from her hands and peeked inside at the best little pills in

the world.

- 234 -

"Now remember, you start taking them on the first day of your period, got it?"

"I got it, thanks mom," I said with an excited grin.

Renee offered to take us to lunch, so we piled into her old Vista and headed over

to the diner.

"So, where's Boy T – I mean Phil, where's Phil today?" I asked as we were seated

at a table and I noticed for the first time that she didn't have her arm candy with
her.

"Oh, he's watching some sporting event in the hotel. You know, we're thinking

about getting a little place here to be closer to you guys, what do you think?"

"Uh…you don't have to do that," I said uncomfortably. I loved my mother and all,

but I honestly believed seeing her a couple times a year would be more than enough.

"No, it would be great. I can work only part time at the boutique and then watch

Em when you're at school."

Edward looked at me stunned. "You're going back to school? Why didn't you tell

me that?"

"What? No, this is the first I heard about it. I'm not going back to school," I told

Renee assuredly.

"What do you mean; you have to go back to school. How are you ever going to get

a decent job and help support your family if you don't graduate? You have a
daughter to think of now."

"Dad said we can stay with him as long as we want, and when Edward turns

eighteen he'll come move in with us," I told Renee.

"Ok, but then what? You can't live with Charlie for the rest of your lives."

"Um, we can get our GED through independent study," I told her.

"Yeah, but I talked to the Forks High principal and he said it would be a good idea

for you to take some elective classes at the school in addition to independent study,
that way you can catch up on the necessary credits faster."

Edward shifted his weight in his seat uncomfortably, and then it returned - the

- 235 -

tension. I looked at his face and he was looking past me vacantly, but his jaw was set
in a hard line as he stewed over whatever was bothering him.

Renee must have sensed his discomfort as well. "Well Edward, how long until you

turn eighteen anyway?" she asked him.

"What month is it now?" he asked unsure.

"September…Your senior year just started so if you go back in the next couple

weeks, you won't be too far behind."

"We're two years behind," I corrected her, but then I thought about something.

"Hey, my birthday is in September."

"Yeah, honey you'll be eighteen next week."

"Wow," I said in disbelief, and then I suddenly became excited. "I always wanted

to be eighteen."

Renee and Em laughed at my enthusiasm, but Edward just seemed to get more

distant.

"How about you, sweetie, when's your birthday?" Renee asked him.

"My birthday is on the twentieth."

"Oh, that's close!" Renee said excitedly.

"Of June," Edward added.

"Oh," Renee and I said at the same time.

"Ha, I am older than you," I teased, but he didn't feel like joking. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said evenly.

"Something," I disagreed.

"No, I just hate that I have to wait nine more months to be eighteen."

But then I realized something else. "You're like….barely seventeen."

- 236 -

"So?" he said defensively.

"Wow Bella, you're a cougar; like mother like daughter," Renee joked, but Edward

and I just glared at her. "What? What did I say?"

But the truth was that it did freak me out a tad bit. Edward was almost a year

younger than me, which meant he was barely sixteen when Em was born, which also
meant he was just barely fifteen when we first got stranded. It didn't seem like it
should make much of a difference, but for some reason, it just did.

"Well, ok, what are we getting for lunch?" Renee asked, trying to break the

tension.

"Fish," I said, without even looking in the menu.

"Fish!" Em repeated excitedly.

"I'm not sure yet," Edward said with a strange undertone, and then he put his

menu down to look at me. "You're not even going to see what else they have before
you decide what you want?"

"I don't need to look, I already know."

"You only think you know because you haven't looked yet," he argued.

"I was sick all night last night from being forced away from my normal diet," I said

slowly, wondering why he cared so much. "My stomach knows fish, it wants fish."

"Ok, well how long before your stomach wants something else?" he asked

unexpectedly.

Uh…. "What makes you think it will ever want something else. I've already

convinced my body that I can only eat fish for the rest of my life, and every part of
me has accepted it."

"But that was before, when you didn't have any choices. We've had fish every day,

three times a day, for the past two years, and now that we have a whole menu of
options, it's only natural to want something different."

"But I don't."

"Well, once you've accepted that we're never going back to the island, you'll get

- 237 -

different cravings."

"I have accepted that we're not going back, but…"

"But fish is just what's comfortable, right? Well someday you're going to

remember that once, not that long ago, you didn't even like fish. You thought fish
was disgusting. And then you're going to wonder what else is out there and you'll
realize that you've wasted your time eating plain fish when you could have had
something better."

"Wait, you lost me….Is Bella the metaphorical fish here, or are you?" Renee asked

him hesitantly. "Please don't tell me you guys are already" - she covered Em's ears
with her hands – "having relationship troubles?"

"What?" Edward asked incredulously. "I just know that if she thought about it for a

few minutes, she'd want something other than fish, that's all."

"Fish," Em repeated again.

I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest and pumping numbing morphine

throughout my entire body. Even though I refused to admit it out loud, I knew that
conversation was about much more than just fish, but I was so confused by the
entire thing and that just scared me even more. What was Edward really talking
about? Maybe it was a lot simpler than I was making it out to be, but I just couldn't
wrap my brain around it and I refused to dissect his words to make sense of it. I was
happy in my bubble, and I wanted to stay there.

Edward seemed ok for the rest of lunch, and even joked around a bit with Renee,

but there was definitely something off with him.

Later on Esme practically begged us to come over for dinner and that invitation

included my parents, but Renee decided to meet back up with Phil so she just
dropped us off at the Cullen house, and Charlie met us there a little while after that.

Dinner was fine, there were no arguments or attitudes, but it still wasn't exactly

comfortable. Charlie took Em and I home afterwards and Edward secretly promised
to meet me later, but with how odd he was acting, I wondered if he'd follow through.

But Edward always kept his promises, and at eleven fifty five PM, I heard him

coming up the stairs towards my room.

"You used the key?" I asked groggily as he entered the room.

- 238 -

"Yep," he said before crawling into the bed with me. "Is it just me, or is this way

too soft?"

"It's way too soft…especially before you got here."

"Are you saying I'm not soft?" he asked playfully.

"No, you're not, you're hard and boney…just the way I like it," I said before

snuggling into his chest.

I knew he was tired from his trip over, hell I was tired just from the late hour, but

I couldn't stop my desires and I found my hand creeping towards the waistband of
his sweats.

"Oh, my Bella, always thinking with your vagina," Edward mumbled, already half

asleep.

"Yeah, well you promised me we'd have sex again today, and we only have four

minutes left before midnight."

"Well, we better hurry before I break my promise then," he said with a sudden

burst of energy.

Edward never broke his promises, and he certainly didn't break one that night. Of

course our love session ran all the way through the next day, which was the perfect
way to start any and every day.

….

The rest of the week continued on much like that day had gone - Edward, Em and

I would spend our mornings together as a family, Renee would pick us up for lunch,
and Charlie would meet us at Esme's house for dinner. Then Charlie would bring Em
and I back to his house to wait for Edward to return to us around midnight, thus
starting our daily routine over again.

It wasn't an ideal arrangement, but it was the best we could hope for at the time

until we could figure out something more permanent. The tension was still there
between Edward and me, but we didn't have any more disruptive subliminal
arguments, and tried our best to ignore the discomfort that neither of us were
willing to face.

But that Friday evening, after Charlie, Em, and I had gone back to his place after

- 239 -

dinner, I got a phone call from Esme - She wanted to arrange a time the two of us
could have a private talk - a 'heart to heart', as she called it. I had to admit, I was
nervous, but I couldn't help but wonder if she knew what was really going on with
Edward, so I was definitely willing to meet her.

I had spent three days lost at sea before washing up on an uninhabited island,

faced the prospect of spending the rest of my life away from civilization, got bitten
by a poisonous snake, gave birth without any medical aid, and was taken into
custody by foreign language speaking men who could have been pirates for all I
knew at the time, but having a solo talk with Esme Cullen was definitely one of the
most nerve-wracking things I ever had to face….

- 240 -

When it Rains

Chapter 22 – When it Rains

"Going somewhere?" Edward asked me curiously when he saw me getting my

shoes on.

"Um…yeah. Your mom asked if she could take me out to lunch. Charlie bought a

bunch of sandwich stuff in there or I can bring you and Em back something," I said
in a rush, hoping he wasn't going to freak out too much.

"My mom is taking you to lunch?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah, she said she wants to have a 'heart to heart'," I said as casually as possible,

even though my stomach was doing flips and my heart was racing - and not in the
good type of way. Even my palms were sweating from my nerves.

"You don't have to go, just tell her no," Edward said, pretending to be indifferent

but I could see a hint of anxiety from him as well.

"No, I think I should hear what she has to say. I mean, she doesn't like me, so if

she's going to tell me why then maybe I can defend myself or convince her that I'm
not some villain trying to steal your virtue."

He laughed. "Don't take anything she says personally, she thinks the entire world

is a villain out to steal her happiness."

"I'm not going to let anything get to me," I said convincingly, though I was fairly

certain I was trying to convince myself more than him.

"Ok, well…." He looked like he wanted to say something else to me, but instead he

just kissed my forehead and whispered "Good luck."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically before kissing his chest and then going over to kiss

Em's cheek. "Mama's going to be right back," I told her.

"Mama going?" she asked curiously.

"I'll be right back; you're going to stay with daddy, ok?"

- 241 -

"Dada!" she asked excitedly as if he wasn't already there with her.

"Yeah, dada," I said with a giggle.

"See, I'm her favorite person," Edward said smugly.

"Oh, shut up," I said playfully before giving him another quick kiss and heading

outside to wait for Esme to pick me up. She pulled up two minutes later, so I
reluctantly climbed into the front seat of her car and awkwardly struggled with my
seatbelt.

"Is everything ok?" she asked me concerned.

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm assuming Edward's staying with Em?"

"Yep."

"It's funny, I never see him leave in the mornings no matter how early I wake up."

"I think it's hard for him to be away from Em all night," I lied pathetically. I was

pretty sure she knew he slept at Charlie's with me, but I wasn't about to admit it.

We drove quietly to a little café downtown, and were seated at a table without

saying a word to each other, but we went there to talk, so I was going to make sure
that we did.

"So, what's good here? This place must've opened in the last two years because

I've never been here before," I said shyly. Ok, so it wasn't the type of 'talk' we
needed to be doing, but I was really nervous and couldn't think clearly.

"Yes, a good friend of mine opened it up. Do you remember Mrs. Newton?"

I thought about it for a minute; the name sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure I've met her but I really can't remember much from before. It all
feels like a lifetime ago."

"Well that's understandable. Bella, the reason why I asked you here is because I

really just want to get to know you better. This is a small town, and people…talk.
You have to understand something," she took a deep breath. "Edward was a very
smart, gifted child. I just knew he was going places in life, but since my husband

- 242 -

died…I became a little….paranoid. I'm sure being a mother yourself you could
understand that."

"Of course," I admitted honestly. "I worry about Em all the time too, and when she

was taken from me in Mexico I felt like I was going to die." – I cringed at the
memory.

"I can only imagine how awful that was for you."

I nodded, so she continued.

"Before Edward was lost, I worried about everything when it came to him. You

know, car accidents, getting sick, drowning, heck, even when he walked down the
street I would worry that a tree could fall on him."

I tried not to laugh, but it was fairly silly.

"I know, it's ridiculous," she agreed with my reaction. "But then I forced myself to

let go just a little and allow him take that Marine Biology trip. He wanted to go so
badly and had even put together a list of the reasons for me to consider, so I
caved…and then my worst fears were realized when he didn't come home," she
choked up.

I felt bad for her, her pain was written all over her face, but as sorry as I was that

she had lost her son in that way, I still didn't understand why she hated me.

"When I was told he was alive, it was like a second chance. I had my baby back,

except….he wasn't my baby anymore. He was this…man, with a baby of his own. I
understand that you turned to each other, and I'm glad; I'm glad you were able to
find some happiness….But with all my earlier worries, Edward becoming a teen
father was never one of them. I never expected that, and as much as I love Em, it
threw me a bit. And I have to admit, I listened to some of the gossip surrounding
you, and I was worried."

"Gossip? What gossip?" I asked confused.

"It doesn't matter. Regardless of what may or may not have been true, Edward

cares deeply for you and if I don't want to lose my son for a second time, I need to
accept you…to welcome you as part of my family and be glad that you make Edward
happy."

"So…?"

- 243 -

"He just turned seventeen a few months ago…and as much as I understand his

desire to be with you and Em, I just can't allow him to live with you at this point."

"We lived together for two years," I argued.

"And I didn't separate you to be cruel, but the truth is that you're not on that

island anymore, and it's time to reclaim your lives. If you were just normal teenagers
who had a child together, you would still need to live at your respective homes until
you finish high school and start your adult lives together."

"But we're not normal teenagers."

"I know, honey, I do, but in order to ease your way back into normalcy, I think this

is necessary. I'm not asking you to not see each other, heaven knows Edward would
never agree to that, but take a step back and remember that even though you're
parents now, you are still kids as well. You had your childhoods ripped away from
you, and you can be grateful for the path that brought you Em, but still allow some
of that weight to be lifted from your shoulders. This was not a choice, this was done
to you and you deserve to salvage what's left of your childhoods. But part of being a
kid is to build the foundation of your future which is what I think you both need to
be doing right now. Edward still has the ability to go to college and really make
something of himself….to support his family…. You both do."

"So…?" I asked again, unsure of what she was really trying to say.

"I spoke to your mom, and she said she's trying to convince you to go back to

school. I think it's a good idea. I tried talking to Edward about it, but he refuses to
listen to me about anything, so I'm hoping that if you go back, he will too."

I bit my bottom lip. "We have Em to care for, so we were just going to do

independent study."

"I understand that, but I only work three days a week, and Renee said she could

move here and take a few days off, and your father as well. We will all work together
to take care of Em during the day…At least until she's adjusted enough to play with
other children in a day care setting. But Bella, you and Edward…you live in
civilization now, if you just stay cooped up in your house all the time, how will you
ever function properly in society? Don't you want to set a good example and show
Em that the world isn't a bad place? I made that mistake with Edward, and if you're
not careful, you could do it with her."

I thought about what she was saying, and I actually understood it. I didn't want

- 244 -

Em to be afraid of the world, and with Edward and I too afraid to go back to school
and find some sort of normalcy, we weren't setting a good example for our daughter.
The thought of school was terrifying, but maybe that was ok. I refused to let my
fears force me into hiding. Edward and I did nothing wrong, so there was no point in
being shamed into never showing our faces again.

"Ok," I said with a deep breath. "I'll go back to school and try to convince Edward

to come with me."

"Thanks Bella; and I really am sorry if my actions have seemed…cold towards you.

It wasn't about you…not really anyway, it was just my own neurotic concerns and
the fact that I was allowing others to convince me that your relationship wasn't
genuine."

I didn't understand the genuine comment, but I decided that since she was

apologizing to me, that perhaps the meaning wasn't a bad thing. At least I hoped it
wasn't.

We ate our food and spent the rest of our time together talking about Em and

different funny stories I had about her from the island. She seemed honestly grateful
to hear the stories, and I was almost inclined to call our lunch pleasant.

"So, what did she want to talk to you about?" Edward asked the moment I walked

through Charlie's door.

"She just wanted to apologize for acting cold towards me, and she explained why

she did it….I think," I said, suddenly confused if that was the purpose of the
conversation or not.

"Oh…well good. Is she going to let me live here now with you?"

"No, she said we need to finish high school first."

"What?" he asked incredulously. "Wow, she's seriously delusional."

I bit my bottom lip.

"What?" he asked, knowing I had more to say.

"Well, I actually think going back to school is something we need to do."

He stared at me in shock, but there was serious hurt and anger behind his eyes as

- 245 -

well.

"I...I…I just think it's for the best," I stuttered, suddenly feeling anxious again.

"We need to set a good example for Em. We need to show her that the world…that
people aren't bad."

"You let her get to you," he said in disbelief.

"What? No, it just makes sense. Renee said we could just take a few elective

classes to help catch up on our credits. We'll probably only be there for half days
and we could be home with Em by lunch."

Edward shook his head angrily. "She manipulated you, Bella, don't you see it? She

knew just what to say to get you to do what she wanted. She's trying to tear us
apart."

"Edward, no, she said she understood us. She said she was going to be more

welcoming of me."

"But yet, she won't let us live together. Bella, she lied to you….She manipulated

you and you played right into her hands."

"No, that's not what happened," I said, getting upset. "It is important to get back

out there and graduate. I want Em to have a normal life."

He stared at me for a moment, and I could see that sliver of darkness there in his

eyes again. "Fine. Go to school. I hope you find exactly what you need there."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything; I just hope you're happy with your decision."

"Edward, I want you to come with me," I said, trying to soften the tone and make

him understand. "I'm sure our moms can even request to get us all the same classes
so we can ease back into society together."

"And what classes would we take together, Bella? Home Ec?"

I shrugged. "PE. Debate… We're pretty good at arguing," I said with a laugh.

"Maybe you can join the swim team, I bet you'd blow everyone else out of the
water…They wouldn't even know what hit them; they'd probably think you were on
steroids."

- 246 -

"See, that's the difference between you and me - I never cared what other people

thought of me and never will," he snapped.

"Ok, why are you so angry with me? I just want to do what's right. We need to be

responsible now for Em's sake."

"I'm not angry. You think being responsible for Em means going back to high

school, then great, go do that. But I have other plans."

"Ok, what are your plans?"

He huffed. "I'm still working it out, but they definitely don't include Forks High. In

fact, I can probably take an exam right now and get my GED. Maybe I'll just do that
and go straight to the JC."

And then I got angry. "Yeah, I forgot, you're a genius right? Well, guess what, I'm

not that smart, so don't get pissed at me because I need to graduate high school in
order to make something of myself."

"Mama back," Em said while toddling into the room.

"Yes, Mama's back," I said with a forced smile while picking her up and hugging

her tightly.

God, I wished we could just go back to the island. Everything was easier there,

just the three of us, but that was never going to happen so we needed to try to move
on with our lives, which was something we both needed to accept.

Edward and I weren't about to argue in front of Em, so we spent the rest of the

day pretending nothing was wrong, but we could definitely feel it. We didn't kiss, we
weren't playful, and when he came back to my bed that night, we didn't have sex.
We fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed with our backs turned to each other…but
I was still glad he came.

By morning the physical space between us was gone and I woke up tangled with

him and my head on his chest, but that didn't mean we were over it. We waited until
Em woke up before a single word was said by either of us.

Renee came over that afternoon like always, but this time she had an ulterior

motive.

"So, I was hoping we could go shopping today," she said with a smile.

- 247 -

"Mom, you already bought me everything I could need."

"Yeah, but you need school supplies….and party stuff."

"What party?" Edward asked bitterly confused.

"Well, Bella's turning eighteen."

"Nope," I said quickly. "Not having a party mom."

"Oh, you have to," she whined. "I was thinking we could make Em's birthday right

after yours, and we could have a joint party.

"Mom, I don't want a party for me…but, I would like to have a small get together

for Em….Just family."

"You're no fun…but I guess I can't make you party if you don't feel like it."

Edward and I discussed it, which was the most we spoke to each other in a day

and a half, and decided to have Em's birthday be on the tenth. It may have been
shallow, but I didn't want her birthday after mine - I wanted to think Edward and I
were both sixteen when she was born, even if it was only for a few days.

Esme offered her house for the party, but I wanted to keep it small so it wouldn't

be overwhelming for Em, so we decided to do it at Charlie's house. We decorated
and got balloons which quickly became a new obsession for Em. She had never seen
anything more magical than a balloon, and I loved the look on her face as she tried
to figure out what they were.

She also had her first taste of sugar…

"Every one year old needs cake and ice cream," Renee insisted.

Em tried the ice cream first and definitely didn't like the temperature, but the

cake made her face distort in a way that would have made me swear it was sour.

"Yeah, that's nasty, isn't it," Edward said playfully to her, but then she smiled and

reached for him with her messy hands, wiping frosting all over his neck and face.

"I don't know, looks kind of good to me," I said with a giggle.

All and all the party was a success and I was happy we did it, but after everyone

- 248 -

went home, Edward and I had another setback.

"So, tomorrow's Monday…and I've decided I'm going to start school," I told him

hesitantly. I wanted Edward to be prepared….well, I wanted Edward to see how
serious I was and decide to come with me.

"Well, I'm going to take Em to my mom's house for the day then. She had a

playground constructed in the yard for her," he said emotionlessly.

"Oh, ok," I said quietly. "Um, well since I'm turning eighteen in three days, my dad

said that if I pass both the written exam and the driver's test, I'll be able to skip the
permit stage and get my license right away…So I can just go straight there and pick
you both up after school every day after that…I mean, unless you decide to come
with me to school, then we can just go together."

"I'm not going to school!" he shouted unexpectedly. "You and my mother can put

your little heads together and plot a way to get me to go all you want, but it's not
going to happen. Jeeze Bella, I can't believe how easily you're influenced."

I wasn't going to have that argument with him again, so I just walked into the

other room, hoping that he'd follow and leave his bitterness behind him…except he
didn't follow.

"I think I'm going to go home."

I turned back to him. "Your mom said you could stay later today because of the

party and all. Charlie told her he'd bring you home after Em goes to bed."

"Yeah, well, it's been a long day, and Em will probably fall asleep sooner than

normal."

"I don't want you to go," I said quietly.

"I'll be back later."

"Ok," I whispered, realizing he just needed some time to cool down from our

argument.

But that night the typical North Western moist evening turned into a full down

pour, and regardless of my desire to have Edward there with us, I needed him safe
even more so I called his house before it got too late.

- 249 -

"I don't think you should come tonight."

"Why?" he asked guardedly.

"Edward, look outside, it's pouring."

"I don't care about the weather."

"But I do. I have school in the morning anyway, so…I'll just have Charlie drive us

there to drop Em off before he takes me."

He was silent for a minute, and then his heavy breath whistled through the

receiver. "Fine," he said and then hung up without say goodbye.

I didn't like the wedge that seemed to weasel itself between us, but I didn't know

how to remove it either. I honestly felt going to school was the right thing to do, and
Edward would just need to get used to the idea before he could be comfortable with
it. I wished he would go with me, but he was right, he could easily pass the test for
his GED and go straight to a JC. He didn't need the credits or the extra time to study
and be tutored, but I did, and I needed to prove to Em and to myself that society
wasn't as horrifying as I was expecting.

- 250 -

Looking Down

Chapter 23 – Looking Down

"Everything she needs is in here," I said to Edward awkwardly while handing him

the diaper bag.

"I know how to take care of her, Bella," he replied irritated.

"I know," I said quickly. "I'm just…" My nose started tingling and heat flooded my

face, but I refused to cry. If I started crying then I knew I wouldn't stop and I'd
never be able to go to school.

Thankfully, like every other time I needed him, Edward could see my distress and

he put his anger aside to wrap his arms around me securely. "Everything will be ok,"
he whispered supportively, even if we both knew he didn't believe it.

I buried my face into his shirt and wished more than ever that he wasn't wearing

one. I needed to feel his skin pressed against mine; it was my safe place, the only
way I truly felt whole. "Can we have sex before I go?" I murmured desperately.

He laughed halfheartedly. "Your dad is waiting right there for you."

Oh, right. "So…he'll continue to wait."

"I think we've taken advantage of his understanding nature enough already."

"You're probably right," I agreed.

"You'll be back around lunch, right?" he asked as if he was legitimately uncertain.

I nodded and hugged him tighter, and like all the other times we embraced in that

way, Em came up and hugged my leg to be part of it.

I didn't want to go.

I couldn't leave them.

But I had to be strong.

- 251 -

"It's just four hours," I told us. "I'll be back before you even have a chance to miss

me."

I picked Em up and kissed both her cheeks along with her nose and forehead, and

then leaned in to kiss Edward.

"Four hours," I said again.

"Four hours," he repeated.

Edward took Em from me and then I forced myself to leave, but the entire way to

the school I was coming up with all the reasons why it was a mistake.

"Kid, I have to tell you, I have no idea if this is the right thing to do right now or

not, but….I'm really proud of you either way," Charlie said unexpectedly. "I know
this can't be easy for you, but you're doing what you feel is right, and there's
nothing more respectable than that."

"Thanks dad," I said sincerely.

Charlie's words were just what I needed to hear to push myself forward. Edward

and Em would be there waiting for me when I was done, and as long as I kept
reminding myself that, I knew I would be ok.

But as I walked through the campus towards my first class, I suddenly felt like an

oddity as virtually everyone I passed turned to stare at me. So I kept my head down,
and prayed I didn't bump into anyone.

What the hell was I doing there?

Every few steps or so I'd look up and cautiously try to remember my way around

or recognize a friendly face, but all the halls looked foreign and the people were just
strange featureless beings which I couldn't differentiate one from another. Nothing
was familiar, and as hard as I tried, I just couldn't recall anything more than random
flashes of my time there.

My life didn't begin until arriving on the island, so trying to remember anything

before was like trying to recall something from a forgotten dream.

"Bella?" someone asked gently. I looked up to see a girl that I was sure that I

knew, but I couldn't remember her name.

- 252 -

"Hi," I said with a friendly smile.

"Hey, how are you? Um…I'm so glad you're ok," she said sweetly and somewhat

shyly. She looked like she wanted to hug me but held back, probably because she
wasn't sure I would be receptive to that kind of contact.

"Thanks…How have you been?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

She smiled. "Good. The faculty here announced that you might be coming back,

but they weren't sure when…Um, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but you look
a little lost. Do you want me to show you to your first class?"

I swallowed hard and curiously had to fight back tears. "That would be great,

thank you."

I handed her my schedule so she would know where to lead me, and thankfully

she didn't ask too many questions on our way there.

"So, um, I know we weren't really friends anymore the last time we saw each

other, but…we were close once and I was really happy when I heard you were ok, so
if you need anything at all….I'll be around."

I nodded with another smile. "Thanks…." Damn, what was her name?

"Angela," she said, sensing my stupidity.

"Angela Webber!" I remembered suddenly.

"Yeah," she said with a slight giggle.

"Thanks Angela, I really appreciate your help."

Angela left me at my first class, and I really hoped to see her later; she seemed

like a genuinely good person and I was an idiot for ever throwing away her
friendship, though at the moment, I couldn't remember why exactly that had
happened.

My first class was extremely uncomfortable as I heard snickers and tried to dodge

curious glares, but since I was in a lower level elective class, most of the kids were
freshmen and sophomores so I didn't recognize them and didn't worry that I should
either. But it all went downhill from there. On my way to my second class I was
looking down again as I walked through the halls, and clumsily ran right into an

- 253 -

opened locker making everyone in the area stop and laugh at me. And as if that was
humiliating enough, I then tripped over someone's backpack while heading to my
next seat, making me fall down to my hands and knees like a little kid. No one
helped me up, not that I wanted anyone to, and no one asked if I was ok; the room
just fell dead silent as they all watched the strange island girl try to navigate her
way to the back of the room. But none of that was nearly as bad as what happened
during break when I had my first truly unpleasant reunion.

I saw her before she saw me, and unfortunately I did remember her name and I

was seriously hoping to hide before she spotted me, except…

"Oh my god, Bella!" Jessica Stanley shouted excitedly before running over and

hugging me…which I was definitely not prepared for. I wasn't skittish and afraid of
physical contact or anything, but for whatever reason, Jessica's hug made me cringe
a little. "I overheard Angela mentioning that you were back. I'm Jessica, by the way."

"Yeah, I know. We've been friends since kindergarten," I said slowly, wishing for a

way to escape her presence. From what I remembered about Jessica, her and my
mother had very similar personalities and I wasn't sure I could handle that at the
moment.

"Oh, I know, I was just reminding you. Anyway, I'm so excited you're here! Just

look at us, together again and seniors, huh? Remember we always used to talk about
how excited we were to become seniors. And here we are."

"Well, technically I'm not a senior, I don't have enough credits," I told her

emotionlessly.

"Oh, well, you know what I mean. Anyway, I have to tell you, when the school

announced that you were alive and coming home, we automatically nominated you
for prom queen even though Eric pointed out that you might not be so hot anymore
because of your time on the island without any real food. But you look great, so no
worries."

"I don't want to be prom queen," I said robotically. Going to school was definitely

a bad idea.

She laughed. "Don't be silly, everyone wants to be prom queen."

I really didn't have the patience to stand there and argue with her, so I changed

the topic. "So, how have you been, Jess?" I asked, not caring in the least but trying
to pretend that I did so I could just nod occasionally and otherwise zone out.

- 254 -

Jessica did exactly as I was expecting, and proceeded to list every single guy she

dated in chronological order. God, she was annoying, but the worst part was
knowing that Jessica had been my best friend which meant that I was probably just
like her before the island. I was humiliated for myself.

"So, enough about me, I actually came over here to let you know that I was totally

going to come visit you at your house sooner but I thought you'd need some time to
get settled and everything…you know, relearn how to use technology and such," she
said with shallow regret.

"That's fine, I appreciate it," I told her.

I was actually very glad she didn't come for a visit sooner; I really doubted I could

have handled her before my new determination to fit back into society. But I did
wonder how everyone seemed to know about what had happened. Was our return in
the paper, on the news, the internet? However the case, I was just glad we were
never bombarded with news reporters, that would have really scared Em. Come to
think about it, I bet Charlie threatened them all to stay away. We were so lucky to
have him on our side.

"You know….there have been a lot of really strange rumors about the time you

were gone," Jessica said unexpectedly.

Esme had mentioned 'gossip', so I became curious and decided to push Jess a little

to see what she had heard.

"What kind of rumors?" I asked her.

"Well, for starters, people are saying you turned to cannibalism to survive. Is that

true?"

I didn't know whether to laugh or be seriously disturbed. "I did eat worms; I guess

that's similar," said sarcastically.

She nodded. "That's horrible. But even worse than that, people are saying you had

a baby."

Uh… "Yeah, I could see how having a baby would be worse than cannibalism."

"Well, is it true?"

"Yes."

- 255 -

"Oh wow, that's crazy! So did you put it up for adoption or something, 'cause I

haven't seen it?"

"You haven't seen me so how would you see my daughter?"

"Well I'm seeing you now."

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't have been that stupid, could I? The thought made me

angry and ashamed of myself even more.

"Yes, I had a baby, and no I didn't put her up for adoption."

"Oh, well that's cool; you're just like an episode of 'Teen Mom' mixed with

'Gilligan's Island'," she joked. "But…uh…who's the dad?"

I seriously wanted to pull my hair out. Why was I even standing there speaking to

her? I could actually feel myself losing brain cells by just being in her presence, but
I had to admit, I did become slightly more confident with myself at the same time –
If someone as stupid as Jessica could graduate, then I certainly should be able to
handle it.

"Who do you think?"

"Jacob? Or did you actually have sex with Mike on that trip?"

Jacob? Mike? - It took me a minute to remember the faces behind the familiar

names, and then I lost my patience.

"Ok, first of all, neither of them were on the island with me!"

"But you had to have gotten pregnant before, right? I mean, who else could have

knocked you up?" she interrupted me. "Oh…Natives?"

"Edward is my daughter's father!" I snapped at her.

"Edward who?"

For crying out loud. "Edward Cullen."

"Wait, that chubby science geek? When did you have sex with him…and why

would you?" she asked disturbed.

- 256 -

"We had sex on the island, and I did it because I wanted to." I tried to walk away

from her, but she just followed me.

"Wow, I mean I heard about getting drunk and screwing a freak, but wow. You

know, I actually forgot he was even on the island with you. Was he rescued too?
God, I feel so bad for you."

"You feel bad because I was on the island, or because I had sex with Edward?"

"The sex thing. I'm sure the island was just like an extended vaca, right? I mean,

Lauren got drunk once and thought she was sleeping with a nine, and then when she
woke up the next day the guy wasn't even a four. God, it took her like a month to get
over it."

"You know, sometimes sex isn't just about physical lust," I snapped at her, and

then I struggled to regain my composure. "Not that it's any of your business, but
Edward and I went through a lot together, ok."

She nodded apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it….But now that

you're back you can put it all behind you. There's a party on Friday, and…."

Ok, I had enough of the conversation. I didn't say anything, she wasn't worth my

breath, I just walked toward the bathroom hoping she'd get the hint and leave me
alone.

"Ok, we'll talk more later!" she called after me.

I finally understood Edward's protests about returning to school, but then again, I

always knew he was the smarter one of the two of us. High school was full of
morons, and I was an even bigger one for thinking I could handle it.

"Bella?" Angela said gently as she came into the bathroom. "Sorry, I saw you with

Jessica before coming in here. Are you ok?"

"Yeah," I said with a deep breath. "I'm just really not sure why I decided to come

back here," I said honestly.

"I can't imagine what you're going through right now," she said softly. "But, don't

let people like Jessica Stanley get to you."

"Why are you being nice to me?" I asked her. "I mean, I was just like Jessica

before and I'm sure I wasn't very nice to you, so why are you trying to help me?"

- 257 -

"We were friends once…and even though we grew apart, I always hoped we could

be friends again someday. Besides, it really has nothing to do with friendship; I
would try to help anyone."

I nodded. "I bet you would."

"Hey, I usually hang out at the picnic tables over by the portables with a few of my

friends, do you want to join us."

"Thanks," I said sincerely.

Angela's friends were a lot like her, nice and quiet. I could definitely handle being

around them, and I was grateful Angela offered the invitation.

When the bell rang, Angela walked me to my third class of the day, and offered to

give me a ride home after my fourth and final class was finished.

"I don't want you wasting your lunch break to take me home," I told her

graciously.

"Oh, I don't mind, I was going to run to a drive through anyway, the food here is

horrible."

"Thanks, but Renee is supposed be picking me up."

"Oh, ok, well if you want a ride tomorrow just let me know."

"Thanks," I said again.

After my first official day of school was done, I waited for Renee in front of the

school, but of course she was ten minutes late. Ten minutes of my Edward and Em
time that was wasted because of my harebrained mother.

"Sorry baby, time just got away from me," Renee said casually.

"It's ok," I mumbled.

"So, how was it?"

"Fine."

"Not much in a talking mood, huh?"

- 258 -

"Not really, I just want to get to Em and Edward," I said honestly.

We couldn't get to the Cullen house fast enough, and thankfully, the moment our

car pulled up, Edward was in the doorway with Em in his arms.

"Mama!" she shouted at me excitedly.

"Hi baby!" I said, nearly crying from how happy I was to see them. I was pretty

sure Edward was expecting me to take Em from him, but instead I left her in his
arms and wrapped my arms around both of them. "I missed you guys so much."

I moved my hand under Edward's shirt to reach my safe place, and I felt like I

could finally breathe again after spending half a day drowning.

I couldn't do it again.

I had to tell everyone that I just wasn't ready; I went, I tried it, but I didn't want to

go back.

"Are you hungry? My mom made lunch," Edward said as he led us inside the

house.

"Actually, I am pretty hungry," I realized.

"Oh, Bella, how was your first day?" Esme asked warmly as we walked into the

kitchen.

"Uh…it was fine, but it was a bit more overwhelming than I was expecting."

"You know, I was concerned that you'd spend the day worrying about Em, so I

hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty to buy a few cell phones."

Huh?

"They were having this wonderful 'Family Share Deal' going on, so I got four

phones with unlimited minutes between them, that way you'll be able to call and
check on Em during any part of the day." She handed me what looked like a mini
rectangular TV screen.

"This is a phone?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, it's the latest…It even has Skype so you can see Em as well. I've already

- 259 -

talked to the school and they agreed that you could use the phone anytime you need
to, you just have to step outside."

"Wow, that's awesome," I said halfheartedly.

"Oh, and all the contacts are already put in there for you. The number to Edward's

phone, mine, and Renee's are all in the contacts."

"Renee's?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, well I gave her the fourth….She said she didn't have one and I figured she

seems like the type of person who likes to talk," she said with a little giggle. "Plus, if
Edward can't watch Em for whatever reason, Renee and I will be taking turns with
her so it's good if we all have phones."

Crap. How was I supposed to tell her that I didn't want to go back to school after

she went to all that trouble?

"Thank you, Esme, I really appreciate it," I said sincerely.

"Anything to give you peace of mind," she said with a smile. "Well, have a good

lunch."

"You're not going to stay to eat with us?" I asked her.

"No, you guys need some family time," she said before grabbing her keys. Em had

toddled into the adjoining sitting room to play with what looked like a plethora of
new toys, so Esme went to kiss her head before heading out the door.

"So….How'd it go?" Edward asked me uncomfortably after a minute.

I shrugged. "I've had better days…But I guess it wasn't horrible." I reached for

him again, and moved my hands right under his shirt. "I hate your clothes."

"Well I'm still wearing my dad's old stuff," he said defensively, misunderstanding

my comment.

"No, I don't mind what you're wearing….just that you're wearing clothes at all," I

clarified.

"Oh….You know, we could always move to a nudist colony," he joked.

- 260 -

I shook my head. "No, I don't want anyone else to see you naked….and I certainly

don't want anyone else to see me naked."

"Why not? You look incredible naked," he said straight faced.

I laughed. "You only think that because you've never seen another naked woman

to compare me to."

"I'm not admitting to anything, but I may have seen a few 'Play Boy's in my time."

"Is that right?" I said with a giggle.

He shrugged playfully. "But you definitely have a great body."

"Well, if you're good, I may let you touch me later…and by touch me, I mean all of

me," I said with a wink.

"I'm good now….Hell, I've been good all morning," he said eagerly. "I would have

been good last night if you didn't tell me I couldn't come over."

"It was pouring out. If you had come and gotten sick or hurt, it would have been a

lot longer before we could have been 'good' together," I said suggestively.

"Well, what if it's pouring tonight as well?"

I huffed at the thought. "Then I guess we better hope Em takes a nap soon so it

won't be so hard if we have to miss each other another night."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Whatever," he mumbled.

"What?"

"What happened to you not being able to sleep without me?" he asked sourly.

"I can't, but I'd rather have you alive," I told him strongly.

"Oh please. With all that we survived, do you really think a little rain is going to

slow me down? We never stayed inside when it rained on the island."

"That was different."

"How so?"

- 261 -

"Because, one, there were no cars to potentially run you over, two, there was no

bike to slip down a cliff, and three, there was no flu to make you sick."

"One, there aren't many cars at midnight, two, I can always walk if you're that

worried about it, and three, rain doesn't cause the flu."

"Edward, just….please don't come if it's raining," I said seriously.

"It's always raining here, especially this time of the year; I guess that means I

won't be coming at all anymore."

I bit my lower lip anxiously. I hated not sleeping next to him, but nothing was

more important to me than his safety. It was only for nine more months anyway, and
then he'd be eighteen and we could live together permanently.

"We'll still see each other during the day."

"Oh you mean, after lunch time for a couple hours until Charlie takes you and Em

back to his place for the night," he said bitterly. "I'm sure you'll even start using that
time to do your homework as well. Yeah, that's plenty of time together."

"Edward, please, can we just not fight today. I really haven't had a good day and

all I want to do is be here with you and Em, but not like this."

"Well, this is how it is," he said stubbornly.

"Ok, well how much longer are you going to be mad at me for? Because I do have

homework and I'd rather be doing that then fighting with you."

"Why don't you do that then," he said before storming out of the room.

I sat there for a few minutes and just stared at the wall completely flabbergasted.

How the hell did we already get into a fight? I had only been there all of ten
minutes. I was upset, and angry, and confused, but most of all, I was scared. I didn't
know how to get back what we lost when we left the island, and I was worried we'd
never find that level of happiness again.

I really, really, hated civilization.

***A/N: Ok, all my angst worriers - I know, more angst and drama than you were

- 262 -

expecting, but as my regular readers know, I do tend to pile on the emotions in my
stories LOL. Anyway, have no fear because a big change in the right direction is
coming….and yes, I promise, as with ALL my stories, this too will have an HEA (not
much longer now *tear*).

- 263 -

love'

Chapter 24 – 'love'

I'd like to think it was determination, but maybe it was guilt, or maybe it was even

out of spite, but whatever the reason, I decided to continue with school.

My second day was actually a lot better than my first. I still got curious nosey

stares, but not nearly as many, and I didn't have any embarrassing accidents. I also
knew exactly where to meet Angela and her friends during break so I didn't feel
quite so alone, and when I got home that afternoon, Edward and I didn't
argue….well, we didn't really speak either.

But on Wednesday it was my birthday, and it also marked the beginning of a

whole new chapter in my life.

"Happy birthday," Charlie said with a smile after knocking on my bedroom door.

He had a wrapped gift for me, which made me sigh.

"I thought we agreed; no gifts."

"You agreed, I never agreed to that. Besides, you've been gone and I'm not about

to miss another birthday."

He got me a camera, which was actually perfect but made me sad knowing I'd

never have baby pictures of Em. I would never regret a moment of our time on the
island…I just wished there would have been a way to take pictures of her and
remember those days forever.

"Thanks dad," I said sincerely.

"Well, I hope you enjoy it," he said with a grin. "Now, hurry and get ready to come

down, you have a visitor."

A visitor?

I couldn't help but get excited. Edward loved gifts, so I had a feeling he thought

up something sweet or thoughtful because that was always the kind of thing be
brought me.

- 264 -

I rushed through getting dressed, carelessly pulled my hair through a ponytail,

and quickly changed and dressed Em before hurrying down the stairs….except, it
wasn't Edward.

Seeing the unexpected visitor made me freeze in place and automatically curl into

Em. Was I subconsciously trying to protect her, or was I looking for her protection?

"Hey Bella, how are you?" His deep husky voice was emotional, and I was

surprised to see tears building in his eyes.

"Jacob?" I questioned, because to be honest, I wasn't quite sure.

He smiled and nodded. "Wow, your daughter is beautiful, she looks just like you."

I smiled back politely. "Thanks, but I think she looks more like Edward."

His smile faded just slightly. "I didn't mean to come here and make you

uncomfortable, I just wanted to say hi and happy birthday." He handed me a huge
bouquet of flowers that I didn't even notice he had been holding.

"Um…thank you."

"I'll give Em breakfast, why don't you two go out on the porch to talk for a few

minutes," Charlie said while taking Em out of my arms.

"I have to get ready for school," I said in an almost panic. What the hell was

Charlie thinking, trying to give me alone time with Jacob? It was just odd.

Charlie pulled me to the side. "Look, he's been asking to come over and see you

since he found out you were home. He really took it hard when we all thought you
were killed; behind me and your mom, he took it the hardest. You two may have
been just kids when you were together, but he still cares about you very much and
the least you could do is talk to him."

"I'm with Edward."

"I know that, and so does he. He's not here to woo you; he knows you and Edward

are committed and have a child together."

"Then why is he here? And if he doesn't want to 'woo' me, then why did he bring

flowers?" I asked getting agitated.

- 265 -

"Because it's your birthday and he's a nice kid. Long before you were…a couple,

or whatever, you were very good friends, just try to remember that."

"I don't need any friends," I said stubbornly.

"I think you do and you just don't know it…Come on Em, let's get some breakfast."

"Traitor!" I whisper-yelled. So much for Charlie always being on my side of things.

UHG!

Not knowing what else to do, I reluctantly walked back over to Jacob. "So…how

have you been?"

He laughed. "I'm not the one that was stranded on an island for two years, how

have you been?"

"Good. Better than good. In fact, I wish I was still there," I admitted a little too

enthusiastically.

"Oh…cool. Hey, why don't we go sit on the porch swing like we used to. I brought

some of my Aunt Emily's muffins that you always loved so much."

"I really don't have a lot of time; I have to get over to the Cullens to drop Em off."

"Oh, your dad said that you don't usually head over there until around 8."

"Yeah."

"It's barely six. He said if I come over this early we should have time to…you

know, talk."

Crap. "What do you want to talk about?" I asked hesitantly.

He shrugged. "I still care about you Bella; I just want to make sure you're doing

ok."

"I'm fine."

"Really?" he asked skeptically.

"Yeah, really," I lied.

- 266 -

He laughed. "You know, you still do that thing when you lie."

"What thing?" I asked insulted.

"That thing where you raise your left brow just the tiniest bit every time you're

dishonest. I'm actually kind of glad; it makes me feel like I still know you a bit."

I scowled at him, I couldn't help it, he was absolutely pissing me off.

"Whoa, and there's pissed Bella."

"Shut up!" I snapped.

"And there's bitchy Bella…she was always one of my favorites."

I forced myself to calm down. "So you know my moods, what's your point? Did you

honestly come over here to try to prove the fact that you have always been able to
push my buttons?"

"No, Bella, I just came to see my best friend," he said sincerely. "And I'm glad

you're still you."

"Well, maybe I don't want to still be me anymore!" I shouted, taking us both

aback. "I know the kind of person I was and I don't want to be that anymore."

"And what kind of person were you?"

"The horrible kind! The kind of idiot that thought I was better than everyone and

enjoyed making others feel badly about themselves. The kind of moron that would
make fun of someone because they were overweight or couldn't swim. I don't want
to be that kind of person ever again, so don't come here and tell me that I'm the
same person!"

My emotional outburst had opened a floodgate of deep worries which I had kept

so bottled up that I never really knew were there. It may have sounded like a copout,
but the truth was that I didn't even think about the type of hostile relationship
Edward and I had before the island. That wasn't who we were together, and I never
even considered it to be an issue…But by seeing people like Jessica, and hearing
Jacob say that I hadn't changed, it finally got to me.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I knew I hated the person I was before, but

I never knew the extent of it until that moment and I never realized the fear behind

- 267 -

it either. I never wanted my daughter to see that pathetic side of me, and I feared
that one day she'd learn the truth…that I was a bully….and Edward was one of those
innocent kids that I unleashed my cruelty on. How could she forgive me knowing
what I had done to people like her daddy…how could Edward really forgive me?
Maybe he couldn't…maybe that was the truth behind his recent anger. Being back in
civilization probably reminded him of all the horrible things I had said and done to
him. What if Edward held grudges after all? What if he really did hate me and just
felt trapped because we had Em together?

"You know, the Bella I remember is someone who was feisty and stubborn…but

also fun and thoughtful. Maybe there was a short time when you were hanging out
with the wrong people and did some things you weren't proud of…but that wasn't
who you were," Jacob said unexpectedly.

Angela had said something similar, but it didn't make me feel any better. The fact

that I was capable of so much ugliness made my stomach turn…especially
considering the fact that Edward had been one of my targets. My Edward, my
daughter's father, the man who was so strong and took care of me on the island, the
person who saved my life more than once…the thought of anyone being cruel to him
made me beyond livid that I couldn't see straight, but what was I supposed to do
with all that anger directed towards myself?

"You know, I planned to cheat on you," I blurted out. Jacob was sitting there trying

to make me feel better about myself like a good friend would, but we weren't friends
and I wanted him to know just what a horrible person I had been.

"Huh?"

"With Mike Newton…On the Marine Biology trip. Don't you see what a horrible

person I am? I figured I'd sleep with Mike and then decide later whether I wanted to
break up with you or not."

"Well….that…sucks." We sat there silently for a few unbearably long minutes

before he sighed. "Did you ever love me, Bella?"

"What?" I asked, unsure if I heard him right.

"I mean honestly, we never had sex, we hardly kissed, and holding hands was a

laughable event. Did you ever love me?"

"We weren't together all that long," I said absently.

- 268 -

"Two years," he contradicted me.

I was completely flabbergasted. Had I really been with Jacob just as long as I was

with Edward, maybe even longer? It didn't seem possible.

"I've been with Edward for almost two years as well," I told him. But my

relationship with Edward was never really defined; we didn't have a real starting
date because time didn't exist on the island, so in a way, I felt like I had been with
Edward for decades.

He nodded. "But you still didn't answer my question. Did you ever love me?"

I bit my bottom lip and apologetically shook my head no. "Not the way I should

have. I think I always had more of a friendship kind of affection for you. I'm really
sorry, Jacob."

"I'm not here looking for apologies."

"Then why are you here?" I asked, wondering what the hell made me tell him

anything at all.

"Look, don't get pissed ok, but Charlie was hanging out with my dad at my place,

and I overheard how worried he is about you. I mean, I wanted to come visit you, but
I also thought maybe you'd open up a bit to me."

"Charlie was worried about me?"

"Yeah, he said he could tell your relationship with Edward was having a hard time

adjusting, and we both thought maybe I could help. I mean, despite having
more….platonic feelings for each other, we were pretty good at leaning on each
other. You were always the person I went to with my issues. Besides, I can give you
something no one else can."

"And what's that?"

"An unbiased opinion. I'm someone who doesn't really know Edward, so you can

say whatever you need to and never have to worry that it'll get back to him."

"But…we used to be together, so this is all…"

"I never loved you either," he interrupted me. "I mean, I cared about you as a

friend, still do…the best friend I ever had, but we weren't right for each other

- 269 -

romantically. We were so young, we were more like brother and sister than a
couple."

I laughed halfheartedly. "Yeah, that's a good way to describe it."

"I mean, it sucks you were planning to go behind my back and all, but I'm not

heartbroken over it. Now, if my current girlfriend did that…"

"You have a girlfriend? Do you love her?" I asked with a childish grin.

"Yes…but we're not talking about me here. Do you love Edward?"

It was such a simple question, and yet I couldn't give it a simple answer. "Edward

and I were….everything to each other. He was my family, my friend, my lover, and at
times we fought like crazy…but eventually…those different types of relationship
definitions faded away until we were just who we were. We would joke that we were
married, but…we didn't need titles, we didn't have to put anything into words. It was
like…did you ever hear those sayings 'without suffering, there would be no
compassion' and 'without hate, there wouldn't be love'?"

"Yeah, I guess," he said, but looked confused.

"Well…on the island…there was no suffering or hate, so there was no need for

verbal compassion or declarations of love. I mean, we felt it, but it was so unlike the
normal definitions of the words. The island was just this magical place that didn't fit
with the rest of the world, so we didn't have a normal vocabulary to properly
describe how we felt on it. I don't think I've even told Em that I love her."

"But do you feel the same way now that you're back?"

"Things are definitely so much harder here…and we've both changed since being

back. I can't read his thoughts anymore, he's just so…distant."

"But do you love him?" he pressed.

"Why are you asking me this?" I asked, wondering why he cared so much,

especially considering that I had just admitted my planned betrayal of him.

"Because, I think when you truly love someone, you have to love all of them. Even

the parts you don't particularly like so much."

I thought about Edward, and even though I knew I felt stronger for him than

- 270 -

anyone else, I wasn't sure it was 'love'. Love was so…basic. Love was something that
came and went and never seemed to last forever - my parents were proof of that.
Love was an invention of civilization that came nowhere close to describing my
feelings for Edward, which was exactly the reason why I never thought to tell him
that I felt that way for him.

But it seemed civilization would be our permanent home, and in civilization there

wasn't a word greater than 'love', so without having a better way to describe my
feelings for him, I supposed I would have to say yes… "I do love Edward."

Jacob nodded. "I also believe love can bring the best out of someone. So maybe

you were headed down a path that wasn't so great before and Edward was just able
to bring the best back out of you. I know you're not a bad person."

"Yeah, how do you know that?"

"Because if you were then you'd never admit it. Only good people feel remorseful

of their actions. And if it's any help, I forgive you for the cheating."

"Thanks Jake…and thanks for coming over. I have no idea how or why you were

able to get me to talk about all of this, but I appreciate it."

"Well, sometimes we need to talk to someone in order to sort out all our thoughts

and feelings."

I nodded. "I just wish I could talk to Edward like this."

"Why can't you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. We've never…I mean, we have a very deep relationship,

but we never spoke deeply about it. I guess it just goes with everything I was saying
before. We didn't need to have long winded conversations about our thoughts and
desires, because everything was right there in front of us. We were living what we
were feeling. We didn't need to say what we wanted, we'd just do it….we didn't need
to tell each other how we felt, we'd just show it."

"Well maybe you need to find a balance of both. Sometimes the words are good to

hear, especially in a place that isn't so…innocent and honest."

Jacob was right, I needed to have a real conversation with Edward. I needed to tell

him how I was feeling because with so many people around, I couldn't always show
him. I guess words were important after all, and despite being terrified that Edward

- 271 -

carried some deep rooted resentment towards me from our time before the island, I
needed to tell him out loud how much I 'loved' him….though that word would still
never be descriptive enough.

I thanked Jake again, and we made tentative plans to get our significant others

together for a double date, though I doubted Edward would ever really agree to
something like that.

But however helpful our conversation was, it had definitely lasted longer than I

anticipated and I was about to be late for school.

I hated doing it, but I asked Charlie to drop me off before bringing Em to the

Cullen's.

I quickly kissed Em goodbye, and then kissed my dad's cheek."Thanks dad," I said

with a bittersweet tone.

"For what?"

"For meddling."

Charlie was definitely not a meddler, but him having Jake talk to me was exactly

what I needed.

"I just knew you could use someone to talk to…I mean, I'm a good listener, but

there are things that I just don't want to know."

I laughed. "And there are things I definitely don't want to tell you."

I blew a kiss and waved at Em, then had to rush to my first class. I spent that

entire period being pissed that I had missed Edward that morning, and I seriously
considered blowing off the rest of my classes to go have that much needed
discussion with him. But since Renee was late that first day, Angela had been giving
me a ride home so I had no way to leave early….and it seemed even Angela wasn't
as reliable as I was hoping.

"Hey, happy birthday," Angela said to me at break.

"Thanks," I said uncomfortably.

"Listen, I hate to do this, but I have a mandatory student council meeting at lunch.

I can skip my fifth period to bring you home afterwards."

- 272 -

"Oh…" CRAP. I wanted to go home to Edward right that moment, but now it

seemed I wouldn't get to go until after lunch? It just wasn't fair. "That's fine, I can
wait…but I don't want you missing class."

"Don't worry about it, it's just my TA period. I can miss it without a problem."

"Ok. Thanks."

When my classes we finally done for the day, I tried to spend lunch break hiding in

the computer lab hallway because I figured no one in that area of the school would
bother me, except…

"Bella, there you are!" Jessica Stanley shouted at me. "I have been looking for you

all day." Oh, lord help me. "Happy birthday!" she said with a huge grin as she
handed me a gift.

"Um…thanks."

"Open it," she said eagerly.

"Oh, ok." I opened the small tissue wrapped gift and had to force myself not to roll

my eyes. It was a shot glass that read 'Girls Gone Wild'.

"You're officially legal!" she shouted.

"Yeah…" I said with forced enthusiasm. "But I won't be legally allowed to drink

until I'm twenty one," I told her slowly.

"Oh…right, I forgot," she replied. "Anyway, I'm glad I found you for another

reason. I just told Angela that I'm going to drive you home today because she's going
to be later than she thought, but I have to make a stop first."

"Wha…no…" I said, but before I could properly protest she had grabbed my arm

and began pulling me across campus. I had no desire to be driven home by her, and
even less of a desire to go with her wherever she was going. But then I remembered
that if Angela couldn't take me then I had no other ride, so I grudgingly went with
her. "Where are we going?"

"Tryouts," she said without stopping. "I'm on Yearbook, so I just need to take some

pics before I can take you home."

She pulled me into the gym, and although I seriously thought about running away

- 273 -

from her and walking home, I figured with the steady rain I'd probably not be able to
make it to the Cullen's before dark and I couldn't wait that long to talk to Edward.

"Why are the tryouts in the gym?' I asked confused, assuming she was talking

about football tryouts.

"This is Forks, if it wasn't indoors the rain would make it impossible."

But we didn't stop in the gym, we just walked through and straight to the Olympic

sized swimming pool.

"Uh…."

"Oh look, there's Tyler!" she pointed out. "Hi Tyler!"

There were about fifteen guys standing around in Speedos and swim caps, and

about thirty girls like Jessica ogling over them in the stands.

But as Jessica was towing me towards the other fangirls, I saw the last person I

expected there…

"Bella Swan, how are you?" Mike Newton said with a sleazy grin.

I hadn't thought about Mike Newton in years, but the fact that he was there after I

just admitted to Jacob that I planned on cheating on him with him, I fell into a
seriously bad mood. He was disgusting, and I was even more disgusting for ever
thinking he was attractive.

"Shouldn't you have graduated by now?" I asked repulsed, trying to force my

stomach not to come up through my throat.

"I'm the assistant coach…which is how I stay in such good shape," he said with a

wink before repulsively removing his towel to stand there in nothing but a Speedo –
Why would a coach have to wear a Speedo? "So, long time no see. Well, I guess I
was the last person to see you before you fell off that boat, huh? God, that really
sucked…But just so we're on the same page, you fell cause you got motion sickness,
right?" he asked oddly.

"Um…yeah." I shook my head wondering why he'd ask me something like that, and

then I turned to leave. I really had no idea how I found myself in those situations
when all I wanted to do was go home.

- 274 -

"Bella, come sit," Jessica demanded.

"No, I really want to go home," I replied.

"I told you I'd give you a ride, but I have to take photos first. It'll only be a few

more minutes."

I huffed and then grudgingly sat, but after a minute of absently watching the

scene in front of me, there was a commotion amongst the bystanders and swimmers
alike.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously, but not really caring at the same time.

"He's not wearing regulation!" I heard one swimmer protest.

"This is just a tryout so there's no regulation. It's in his best interest to wear the

Speedo and swim cap, so if he doesn't want to then he doesn't have to," the head
coach said. "Now take your marks!"

Suddenly the crowd parted and we could see what the issue was.

"Oh. My. God." Jessica said in shock.

"Holy shit!" another girl said.

"Who in Abercrombie Heavens is that?"

"I call first dibs!"

"Look at his hair…god, it looks soft."

"I really hope they don't make him cover it."

The comments from the overly horny teen girls around me continued, but their

voices were just background static because all I could focus on was the fact that
Edward was standing there, half naked, and ready to race….

- 275 -

Following

Chapter 25 – Following

I had made a joke about him joining the swim team, but I never thought in a

million years that he'd actually do it. Hell, I never thought he'd return to school at
all, but there he was, standing on the little platform thing and ready to dive into the
water.

Edward was the only competitor without goggles or a swim cap, and he was the

only one who wasn't wearing a Speedo. His swimsuit was just a black standard pair
of swim shorts, which weren't even tight fitting. His hair was his usual messy mop
on top of his head, and I quickly realized that I wasn't the only one who found that
incredibly sexy.

And his body….his perfect body put all the other guys there to shame.

"SET!" the coach called. All of the guys got into position, but Edward was

uninformed of the rules and procedures of the sport so he stayed standing casually.

There was a loud noise, and suddenly the guys jumped off their platforms with

their bodies in perfect tight lines as they flew through the air until they were
submerged under the water, but Edward jumped in after them in a far less elegant
way. I never taught him to dive, so it looked like he watched the others do it first
and then he tried to copy them. It was messy, but efficient enough.

My stomach twisted in knots.

I didn't know why he was doing it, but I was nervous for him; I just didn't want

anyone being mean to him and I was prepared to punch out anyone who tried. But
as the race continued, the crowd started getting excited when Edward picked up
speed. His late start had pushed him far into last place, but by the second lap he was
more than catching up. His form was horrible and he didn't do the little underwater
flip thing at the wall when changing directions, but it didn't matter, he was fast…so
much faster than everyone else in the race.

By the third lap he was neck and neck with the lead swimmer, and by the last lap

he was a full yard in front. He made winning look easy, and regardless of how
athletic the others were, they looked slow and weak in comparison.

- 276 -

The crowd was going crazy, the coaches were astonished, and I was in utter

shock.

"Man, think what that boy could do with a little training!" I heard the head coach

say as Edward and the other swimmers got out of the pool.

"I don't know, he's really rough technically," Mike argued. "He may never have

what it takes."

"I don't give a shit what his mechanics are. That kid is gold right there!" a third

coach said excitedly.

Edward had yet to notice me sitting there with my mouth just as far open as all

the other pathetic girls in the room, but as he took a towel from the rack, he
randomly glanced back and we locked eyes.

I expected him to walk over to talk to me, I expected him to smile and shrug

sheepishly, I expected him to give me a glimpse of the carefree guy that I loved so
much, I expected a lot of things, but instead he kept his face hard before turning
and heading into the locker room.

"Oh my god, now we can all breathe," Jessica said way too loudly. "Who was that

Adonis of a man?"

"I've never seen him before," another girl replied.

I would have answered them, but something made me bite my tongue. Did I forget

how to speak?

"I'm going to go ask Tyler," Jess said before running towards the swimmers.

Jessica was just gone for a minute before walking back with the dumbest

expression on her face…and she kept her eyes glued to my forehead.

"Well, what's his name?" one of the girls asked impatiently.

"Edward Cullen," Jessica replied without breaking her stare on me.

The girls were all speechless and turned to stare at me like they were starving

wolves and I was hiding a piece of meat.

"That's your baby daddy?" one finally blurted out.

- 277 -

"It's amazing what a little island sex can do," another chuckled.

I had no idea who any of those girls were besides Jessica, but they obviously knew

me and knew my story, which made me uncomfortable and also almost territorial in
a way that I never expected.

"Yes, he's my daughter's father," I said a lot more strongly than I planned. Oh god

I could already feel it - the insane jealousy as the salivating skanks plotted their
moves on my Edward. It was literally making me fume as hateful heat flooded my
face.

I really needed to get out of there before I exploded.

"Where are you going?" Jessica asked as I walked towards the exit.

I didn't answer her, and if she got too close I may have to claw her eyes out.

I couldn't believe how I was feeling. It was stupid and irrational, and for the life of

me I couldn't turn it off. I never had to worry about other girls with Edward before,
and the fact that I had no idea what his motives for being there were just made it
worse.

I needed to talk to him and it couldn't wait any longer, so I did the only thing I

could think of, I stood outside the boy's locker room to make sure I didn't miss him.

A few guys came out first, each smiling and making stupid faces at me, but I just

scowled and rolled my eyes hoping they'd get the hint to leave me alone. And then
finally Edward emerged, shocking me yet again.

I wasn't sure what I thought he'd be wearing, but since I had only seen him in

sweats since we left the island, I was more than pleasantly surprised to see him in
perfectly fitted jeans and a black V-neck sweater. His hair was already almost dry
and set in what looked like a controlled chaos, and he had a pair of expensive
looking sunglasses hanging from his collar. God, he was gorgeous. I mean, he looked
great in anything, but he was especially sexy dressed like that and it made me even
more anxious. What was he doing there?

Edward and I locked eyes and then he took a few more steps closer to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

He frowned in disapproval before shooting me his most adorable half smile.

- 278 -

"Happy birthday."

"You decided to come to school and join the swim team as a birthday present to

me?" I asked incredulously.

"No…coming here was a sort of a…last minute decision."

"Huh?" I asked confused.

Without warning, he closed the remaining distance between us and planted his

mouth to mine. His kiss was once again, angry and possessive, but it also felt
incredible and I almost whimpered when he pulled away.

"Ok, we need to talk," I told him, desperate to get to the bottom of whatever was

going on. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to a more obscured part of the campus,
and swore to myself that we wouldn't move again until everything was out in the
open. "Now, what's going on?"

"Lunch is over soon, I have class," he protested lightly.

"Edward, whatever is happening between us is really terrifying me, and we can't

fix it if we don't know what's wrong."

"Fine, if you want to do this here, then here it'll be…. I've been spending a lot of

time thinking about this, and I've finally accepted the fact that we've grown apart,"
he said abruptly, making my chest constrict. "Or maybe we were never really
together in the first place. I mean, we didn't choose to be on that island, we were
forced there and we turned to each other out of desperation and loneliness...We
would have never been together if we weren't stranded and we shouldn't have to
spend the rest of our lives paying for an accident. We have responsibility to Em, but
not to each other."

My heart was racing and I felt like I was going to be sick - Was he breaking up

with me? The mere thought of not being with him anymore made me panic. "You
don't know that," I argued, desperate to change his mind. "Maybe we could have
gotten together a different way…forced to be partners in bio, or something. We
would have found our way to each other eventually."

He shook his head slowly. "No, we wouldn't have, and that's ok… As much as I

didn't want it to be true and I refused to admit it, deep down I knew the moment we
returned that it was only a matter of time until we realized how wrong we are for
each other."

- 279 -

"We're not wrong for each other," I whispered, feeling like I was being strangled

and couldn't speak any louder.

"Bella, I hate everything about being away from the island. I was never like you, I

never fit in anywhere, I never had friends, I never knew how to talk to people. Then
we washed up on that island and it felt… right… like that was how normal should
be." He took a deep breath. "When we got back I just wanted to hide away in the
house and try to hold on to whatever time we had left together until the world came
in and tore us apart. But it happened so much faster than I was prepared for, and
you just…made this decision to return to school and I knew that was it. You were
moving on…and I just couldn't so I got angry and resentful. So I made the decision
to let you go."

I shook my head with tears forming in my eyes. "I don't want you to let go. I was

just going to school to set a good example for Em; I was trying to move on with life,
not move on from you."

"Don't," he said gently. "Don't be upset, the last thing I want to do is make you

cry."

I laughed once humorlessly. "You're breaking up with me, what do you expect?"

"No, Bella, no," he said quickly but gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, and I

never would."

"You're not?" I asked, feeling slightly relieved but confused more than ever.

"No…I was just explaining to you how I was feeling. I have been preparing myself

for what I figured was the inevitable…you finding someone else."

"What?"

"Bella, the people we were before…"

"I don't want to be the person I was before," I interrupted, feeling completely

defeated. I felt like I had been fighting my past all day, and it seemed like a losing
battle.

"All I'm saying is that we were one way before, and on the island we were

different. Now that we're back, we have no idea who we're going to be or if we'll still
feel the same way for each other."

- 280 -

"So…"

"Look, since you decided to go to school, I've been trying to prepare myself for you

finding someone else," he said again. "Someone who better fits the person you're
going to be next. But….I thought I'd have more time with you. Today's your birthday,
so I pushed all that crap to the side and decided to spend the day just…trying to
make you happy. So I got up extra early and bought some doughnuts…. 'cause I
remembered you saying how much you liked them.

Oh, no… "Edward," I whispered, already knowing what he was going to say next.

"I can explain…"

But he put his hand up to stop me.

"I bought one of everything because I had no idea what you liked, and then I

strapped the box to my bike and rode it over to your place. But when I got there, you
weren't alone."

Fucking Jacob! – I thought to myself. "That wasn't anything."

"Can I just finish?" he asked slightly irritated. I nodded so he continued. "I had

been preparing myself for you to leave me and find someone else…but when I saw
you with that guy, no matter what you were doing, I got a flash of what it would be
like to really lose you, and…" he shook his head slightly. "I can't do it. Bella, I can't
lose you."

"You're not going to lose me…ever," I told him with a new round of tears.

"The thing is, I haven't really given you a reason to stay with me. I've been stupid

and detached, but today I had a wakeup call and now I know what I have to do….I'm
going to fight for you. I'm not going to just let you go or give up, I'll do whatever it
takes to keep us together, and if that means going to this hell hole, then that's what
I'm going to do."

"And join the swim team?" I asked absently, still in a daze from everything he just

said.

He laughed. "You told me I should. Besides, the school counselor said it would

look good on a college application…. It was just a lucky coincidence that tryouts
were today."

"Why did you look upset when you saw me there?"

- 281 -

He sighed. "I didn't want you to know I was doing it. I mean, I would have told you

if I made the team, but I certainly didn't want you there to watch me make a fool of
myself."

"But you were angry?"

"I wasn't angry. Well….I guess today I learned something about the new civilized

Edward."

I couldn't help but smile. "And what's that?"

He looked away for a minute, and then back at me sheepishly. "I'm a fairly jealous

person. I really hated you there watching all those naked guys. Why were you there
anyway?"

I took a deep breath then explained how I got dragged in there, which he found

rather amusing. "You know, it is ok to tell people no."

"I just…I don't want to be that bitch I was before."

"There's a difference in being a bitch and just standing up for yourself."

"To be honest, I just really wanted her to take me home because I also had a

revelation today, and I needed to tell you as soon as possible."

"But I was here."

"I obviously didn't know that," I said, suddenly feeling nervous again.

"You have your cell phone, right? Why didn't you just call my mom or Renee?"

I huffed. "Because I'm an idiot and that would have been the smart thing to do," I

said frustrated with myself. "Talk about me leaving you? You should have seen all
those girls drooling over you, it's only a matter of time before someone attractive
and smart comes along and tries to get with you."

"Oh, Bella," he said before unexpectedly wrapping his arms around me. "When

will you ever see yourself clearly?" he murmured into my hair.

My hands automatically searched out the skin under his shirt, and once again I

could breathe again. As the surrealistic daze of our conversation finally began to
recede, I realized just how close we had come to losing each other, and it absolutely

- 282 -

terrified me.

"I don't care if you go to school or stay home every day for the rest of our lives, I'd

never want anyone else."

"Well, we can't predict the future, but I'm done taking a passive approach to our

relationship."

"I love you," I mumbled into his chest while squeezing him tighter. I didn't even

plan on saying it like that, I wanted to work my way up to it and explain everything I
had told Jacob, but at that moment, it just flowed out of me and felt completely
natural.

And, of course, he didn't understand me because of the way my face was pressed

against his shirt. "What?" he asked lightly.

I pulled back just enough to look up at him. "I love you…so much, and I realized

today that I never told you that."

He smiled at me emotionally. "We never needed to tell each other that," he said

unexpectedly. "We always just…showed it."

My chest tightened again, except this time it was in the best possible way. He had

felt the exactly way that I had all along, which just reaffirmed that he was wrong -
we were perfect for each other.

"But I love you too," he added. "And wherever you go, I'm going to follow.

Whether it be to school or to the ends of the world. I'm so sorry Bella, for ever giving
up, but it'll never happen again."

"I'm the one that's sorry. The way I treated you before…it's no wonder you didn't

want to come back to school."

"Ok, look," he said, pulling away and holding me at arm's length. "What we were

before doesn't matter, and we can't focus on our island lives anymore either. You
were right to move on…and we're going to figure it all out together."

"Promise me," I challenged him, knowing he'd never back down from a promise.

He smiled. "I promise."

I grabbed him again and kissed him, which he returned passionately. It was an

- 283 -

extremely intense kiss, but it was also happy and almost carefree at the same time.
We finally talked and everything was out in the open, and I felt light and stronger
than ever.

"I think lunch break ended awhile ago," he said against my lips while we

continued to kiss.

I locked my hands behind his neck. "I don't have any classes after lunch," I

reminded him between kisses. And then I pulled back to look at him again. "Why do
you?"

He shrugged. "I figured that Em usually takes a long nap in the afternoons so it

would be a good time to get some classes in while she sleeps."

Once again, I was an idiot. "Why didn't I think about that?"

"Because you've been overwhelmed and maybe even shell-shocked. You're so

much stronger than you give yourself credit for, but you're also so damn stubborn
that you refuse to slow down even when you need to…. I've left you alone in all this,
but I'm here now, and I'm going to make sure you don't completely wear yourself
out. Moving on is necessary, but we can take our time with it, and we need to."

I nodded and held him again. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," he said softly.

"Liar," I said with a smile.

"No, I am glad to be here…with you."

"I love you," I told him, thoroughly enjoying the way the words sounded on my

tongue.

"I love you, too," he replied with a grin. "Now let's go to the office."

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Because I need a late slip, and you need to move your schedule around."

"Oh, what are you taking? I want to be in your classes," I said excitedly as he put

his arm around my lower back and began leading us towards the office.

- 284 -

He smiled sheepishly and then turned his head away to try to hide it.

"What?" I pressed.

"I'm retaking Marine Bio 2."

I pulled him to a stop. "What! You're kidding, right?"

"Nope… I took Marine Bio 1 freshman year because I wanted to go on to Marine

Bio 2 as a sophomore…I'm sure I would have really liked it too if I got to actually
finish the class…But they did stop doing the trips because of a certain student who
fell off the boat a couple years ago, so it won't be as cool."

I giggled. "Well, I took Marine Bio 1 freshman year because I found out Marine

Bio 2 classes got to go on a trip," I joked. "If they're not doing the trips anymore
than I have no desire to retake the class."

He shrugged. "It may be a pretty easy A for you. I mean, you lived it."

"True… and I could always aggressively persuade you to do my homework for me."

"Aggressively persuade?"

"You know, by withholding sex."

He laughed. "You could never do that, you're hornier than I am."

"Yeah…well, maybe I'll just be on top and force you to hold still by tying you up.

We both know how you hate having to hold still."

"Please, you couldn't tie me up even if you wanted to. Maybe you missed the way I

kicked everyone's asses in the pool just now, but trust me, I'm pure muscle baby."

"I don't have to trust you, I know from experience," I said suggestively. "Speaking

of which, I'm fully expecting to get laid tonight…it is my birthday, after all."

"Actually, I have plans for tonight," he said cryptically.

"What kind of plans?" I asked anxiously.

"That's for me to know and you to find out later."

- 285 -

"Does it have anything to do with eels?"

"Ha, you wish."

...

- 286 -

Together

A/N: A special Thank You to ysar for creating a new banner! I love it

Chapter 26 – Together

After telling the office personnel that it was vital for our daughter's well being, I

was successfully put into the same Marine Biology 2 class as Edward. I also moved
the rest of my schedule to better match his, but we decided to officially start those
new classes the following day – we had a very special one year old to spend time
with before Edward's surprise evening plans.

"Say it Em," Esme whispered as she and Em met us at the front door of her house.

"Happy!" Em shouted excitedly.

"Birthday," Esme reminded her quietly.

"Bilbbay," she said with a huge smile that made her look so much like her daddy.

"Thank you baby," I said while taking her from Esme and holding her close.

Charlie had already gotten her to tell me happy birthday that morning, but it
seemed like Esme had been working with her on it for a while and I didn't want to
dampen it.

"Happy Birthday, sweetheart," Esme said with a hug before we walked into her

house.

"Thanks," I said sincerely.

"Have you had a good day so far?" she asked.

"Um…I've had a good past half hour," I said while grabbing Edward's hand. The

truth was, before we talked my day sucked, but since then I felt amazing. Edward
and I were happy and strongly united, and I knew we could handle whatever the
future held for us because we were going to do it together.

"Well, here," Esme said with a warm smile while handing me a shoebox sized

wrapped gift.

- 287 -

"Oh…thanks," I said slightly uncomfortable. Esme and I were better since our talk

as well, but I was still a little nervous around her and had no idea what kind of
present she would get me.

I slowly opened the gift, and inside I was stunned to see a vintage styled jewelry

box.

"I feel horrible because I just noticed that you don't seem to really wear jewelry

except for that pearl," she said apologetically. "But maybe you can put something
else inside it. It was my great great grandmother's which has been passed down
each generation. After Edward was born I had hoped to have a daughter next, but
then my husband… Well, anyway…I hope one day you'll pass it on to Em."

"I will," I said getting emotional. "And it's beautiful, thank you." It meant a lot to

me that Esme would give me something so important to her, and it definitely helped
me feel like she truly accepted me as part of her family.

Esme hugged me gently, but then Edward got restless.

"Ok, ok, bonding moment is over," he said before picking up Em and grabbing my

arm to lead me away from his mother.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

"Upstairs," he said casually.

"I thought your mom didn't want me upstairs?"

"Yeah, well," he said carelessly as we began climbing the stairs.

"Edward," I protested.

"Oh, come on; don't let her think she's won just because she gave you some

heirloom thing."

"Won? I didn't know we were in a competition."

"Life is a competition," he said with a light laugh. "And it's you, me, and Em

against everyone else."

I couldn't argue with that.

- 288 -

We played with our daughter for a little while before she succumbed to her

afternoon nap, and then we proceeded to make out on his bed like the hormone
driven teenagers that we were.

"Nope, everything below the belt is off limits," he said unexpectedly when I tried

to unbutton his pants.

"What? Why? Oh I get it, now who's abiding by Mrs. Cullen's rules," I teased.

"I don't give a shit about her rules, I'm saying no because I don't want to."

"Ok, what are you up to?" I asked, knowing he had to have a reason for not

wanting sex.

"I'm not up to anything…..well, nothing except the fact that we need to leave soon

and if we start having sex, then there's no way either of us are going to want to go."

"I'm ok with that. I'd rather have sex than go anywhere anyway."

He raised a brow as if he was considering it, and then he smiled and shook his

head. "Nope, we're going out."

"Hey, I thought it was my birthday, shouldn't I get to do what I want?"

"No…nice try though."

I crossed my arms with a huff, and then sulked like a child.

"We need to be a part of society, remember?" he said before kissing my forehead.

"And people in normal society go on dates."

"Fine," I said stubbornly, but once I forced myself to accept the fact that he wasn't

going to have sex with me right then, I actually became excited. Edward and I had
never been out on a 'date', and I couldn't wait to see what he had planned. We had a
very deep relationship that stemmed from our time on the island, but this was the
beginning of our 'normal' lives together. It didn't matter that dating and acting like
every other teenager was shallow in comparison to what we had before, I think we
both finally realized that we could have both.

Charlie picked Em and I up a couple hours later, and took us back to his place so I

could get ready for my date….I couldn't help but smile every time I even thought the
word 'date'.

- 289 -

"Are you sure you got this, dad?" I asked Charlie slightly concerned.

"You may have forgotten, I raised a little girl already," he replied like a smartass.

When the doorbell rang, I looked up at Charlie questionably. Edward wasn't

supposed to arrive quite yet, so I had a feeling our visitor was there for my father.

He laughed once sheepishly. "I believe that's for me," he said while rushing to get

the door. He was back in less than a minute with a beautiful woman with long dark
hair. "Um…Bella, this is Sue Clearwater, Sue this is my daughter Bella."

"Hi Bella, I've heard so much about you," she said with a friendly smile and an

outstretched hand.

I took her hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you," I told her, but shot Charlie a

confused smirk.

"Ok, so I admit it, I was a little nervous about a late night alone with a one year

old. I'm may be a little rusty on the whole diaper changing and putting to bed stuff."

I laughed. "Ok dad…But no funny business you two," I joked, suddenly feeling like

I was leaving my baby with a teen babysitter and his girlfriend. But on a seriously
level, I was actually really happy that Charlie seemed to be moving on with his life. I
hated the fact that my disappearance had caused my parents to divorce, but the
more I got to know them again, the more I realized that they were probably never
right for each other in the first place. Perhaps they had only stayed together for my
sake and when I was gone they didn't feel the need to keep up with the charade
anymore, so in a way, my disappearance was a good thing for their relationship….at
least that's what I told myself.

Edward arrived a few minutes later looking even more gorgeous than he did at

school. Black pants and a grey button down – Man, was I glad I decided to wear one
of my 'Renee approved' dresses. It was a tight black cocktail dress that made me
feel completely uncomfortable but sexy at the same time.

"Wow, you look…" he let his sentence trail off.

I giggled. "You don't look so bad yourself," I said before kissing him lightly, not

want to mess up my makeup. "Where did you get these clothes, anyway? I thought
you said you refused to let your mom take you shopping?"

He huffed. "I didn't go shopping, so don't blame me if I look like an idiot. My mom

- 290 -

took my cousin Alice and they just bought me a bunch of stuff."

"Do you even own a mirror in that big house?" I asked incredulously. "You

definitely don't look like an idiot; you're seriously hot, and it's time you kill that low
self esteem and just accept it."

"Still rather wear holey shorts," he mumbled under his breath.

Honestly, I preferred him in his holey island shorts and nothing else as well, but I

wasn't about to tell him that and screw with his confidence even more. I mean, he
looked gorgeous, but I'd always have a soft spot for the way he looked when we fell
in love. "So…who's driving us to wherever we're going?"

"Well, I didn't have very many options."

We kissed Em goodnight, and then walked out to the awaiting car.

"Hello Ms Swan, I'll be your chaperone for the evening," Emmett said with a

cheesy grin. I actually didn't mind Emmett, but the fact that Rose was in the front
seat next to him made me slightly anxious. But I refused to let her or anyone else
spoil the evening.

Edward and I climbed into the back seat of the very luxurious black Mercedes,

and then he leaned in to whisper – "I swear, I'll have my license and a car by your
next birthday, but for now just pretend they're not there."

"Hey, I heard that," Emmett said.

"You know, you could be a little more appreciative," Rose added sourly.

"I don't have to be appreciative; I paid you, this is a job so suck it up," Edward told

her.

"You got paid?" Emmett asked Rose quietly.

"So…where are we going?" I asked Edward, trying my best to pretend like his

hostile cousin wasn't sitting in front of me.

"It's a surprise," he replied.

"Oh, I hate surprises," I whined.

- 291 -

"No you don't…you only pretend like you do."

"I like surprises when it's an actual surprise and I don't know it's coming, but I

hate waiting, and I really hate knowing you planned something and won't tell me."

"Don't worry love, it's a good surprise," he said while weaving his fingers into

mine and moving in a way so I'd know he wanted me to lean against him.

It had been a long day and I hadn't been sleeping very well since Edward had

stopped coming at night, so I undesirably found myself falling asleep to the
humming of the engine and the sound of Edward's steady heartbeat. I missed
everything about sleeping with him, but I certainly didn't want to fall asleep on our
date.

He woke me up sometime later.

"We're here," he said softly.

"Huh? Oh sorry," I said while sitting up and wiping my face. Oh god, please tell me

I wasn't drooling!

Edward laughed. "Don't worry, I'm used to it."

"Used to what?" I played dumb.

"Your drool," he said quietly so that Emmett and Rose wouldn't hear.

"I do not drool!" I shouted a little too loudly.

Emmett snickered so Edward responded by kicking the back of his seat, shoving

him into the steering wheel.

"Ow, jerk!" Emmett complained.

"Thanks for the ride," Edward said smugly.

"Hey Edward," Rose said as he opened the door to get out.

"What?"

"You have our number for when you're ready to be picked up, right?" she asked in

a strangely concerned voice.

- 292 -

"Yeah."

"Ok…Oh, and Edward….be careful, ok?"

"Sure mom," he said annoyed before getting out and hurrying over to open the

door for me.

"What was that about?" I asked Edward as the Mercedes drove away leaving us

finally alone.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Rose's comment. She doesn't strike me as the overly protective type."

He shook his head. "I swear, I have all these women around me all the time

sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong; I should have just made life easier on
myself and become gay….no offense."

"Don't lump me in with your mom and cousins," I said defensively.

"No, but just wait, it's only a matter of time before you start doing that shit as

well. Hell, Em will be doing it too. It's my lot in life."

I giggled. "I promise, I won't be overly concerned when there's no reason to be."

"I'll hold you to that promise."

"Good… So, where are we?" I asked with a smile.

"A restaurant," he said slowly, as if it was obvious…which I guess it sort of was.

"Well, we're in Port Angeles if that's what you're asking. Your dad told me your
favorite was Italian food, so I decided to bring you here. It got four stars…and it's
right on the water."

"Have you ever been here before?" I asked feeling slightly giddy as he held open

the door for me. I couldn't even remember the last time I had Italian food, but I
knew for a fact that it was my favorite type before. Plus, it was a real restaurant, the
kind with cloth napkins and waiters wearing ties.

Edward had made reservations so we were shown immediately to our table – a

table adorned with a dozen long stem roses and petals scattered about.

- 293 -

"Oh, it's so beautiful," I said teary eyed. In addition to the roses, we were seated

at a window overlooking the ocean and the sky above was full of pink and orange
clouds, and I suddenly had a flashback. Just for a moment I was back on our island
and Edward and I were sitting on our beach enjoying our solitude. I never thought
back then that we'd ever be sitting at a restaurant together like that, and I suddenly
felt very bittersweet about the entire thing. I missed the island, but I was slowly
becoming excited about being back as well.

"Are you happy?" he asked unsure.

"Yes, I'm very happy. Thank you."

I ordered the mushroom ravioli, which I suddenly remembered was my favorite,

and Edward ordered a steak, but it seemed he had also preordered a couple
appetizers before we got there.

The waiter came out with a platter of raw oysters and a side of escargot.

Uh…

"Don't look at it like that," Edward said with a grin, already knowing I would have

an issue with it.

"I get that these are a delicacy and all that but…."

"Worms Bella," he reminded me with a smirk.

He was right, nothing could be worse than worms. The shallow Bella who refused

to try new things was gone, and I had Edward and the island to thank for that.

"Ok," I said, suddenly eager to taste the far too expensive -semi objectionable

food. "Have you had these before?"

"Nope…but I thought it would be fun to try them together."

I smiled at him. "Together," I repeated.

We each picked up an oyster, and stared at them confused.

"How do we eat it?" I asked with a giggle.

He shrugged. "I think you're supposed to slurp it."

- 294 -

"Ok, on three," I said. "One. Two. Three…." We both slurped our oyster, and I was

stunned by the flavor. It tasted like the ocean, which made me miss the island all
that much more.

"Not bad," Edward said while nodding. "You know, they say oysters are an

aphrodisiac."

"Well, we don't need them," I said suggestively. "Oh, and by the way, my pill is

fully effective now."

"Check please," Edward said, even though there was no one around and we hadn't

eaten our actual meals yet.

I giggled.

We forced ourselves to stay and finish our food, and even ordered dessert -

Zeppole, which Edward had insisted on getting seeing how they were like doughnuts
– he was still a little bitter about missing breakfast with me that morning, which I
completely understood.

"Thank you for dinner, it was amazing," I told him as we walked hand in hand out

of the restaurant. "Although, I do hate that you spent your hard earned allowance
money on me," I teased. "I mean, what were you saving it for back then anyway?"

"Honestly?" he asked. I nodded so he sighed. "I really wanted to buy a sailboat. I

never told my mom because I knew she'd flip, but I hoped that by the time I was
eighteen I'd have enough money and go on a summer long sailing trip before I
started college."

"Wow," I said surprised. "I never took Pre-Island-Edward as the sailing type," I

said gently, not wanting to offend him.

"Well I wasn't, which is kind of why I wanted to do it. I mean, as you know, I was

terrified of the water, but I also loved it and was desperate to go off on my own
somewhere."

"I guess you got what you wanted."

He smiled. "Definitely."

"Oh, now I feel bad that you've been spending that money even more, especially

on me," I told him.

- 295 -

"Are you kidding? I'm sure that if Pre-Island-Edward could have spent some of

that money on dinner with you, he would have in a heartbeat… And
Pre-Island-Edward would have fallen over and died if he knew he was going to get
laid afterwards."

I giggled again. "Oh, come on, you really thought no one would ever have sex with

you?"

"No…at least not in high school. I don't know, I guess I figured I'd be one of those

forty year old virgins or marry some fellow geek after college."

"And look at you now, seventeen and father of a one year old," I said before

skipping around him to kiss his neck.

I hated that he had felt that way, but I knew he wasn't telling me it to make me

feel sorry for him; it was a good night, and he had kept his tone light so I followed
his lead and did the same.

"Come on," he said before pulling away from me but keeping his hand locked with

mine.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously as he began leading us down some dark

road. "You know, my father always taught me to never go down dark alleyways, and
if anyone tried to force me down one I should knee them in the balls."

"You would never knee me in the balls," he said unfazed.

"How can you be so sure?" I joked.

"Because then your next kid would come out deformed," he said casually, making

me smile even bigger.

"So….can I go off birth control and get started on baby number two right away?"

"Let's get through college first."

"Fine, if we have to," I said with a laugh.

The next thing I knew, our strangely obscured path opened up into the dark but

beautiful ocean right in front of us. The tiny beach was hidden from everything
around it, and wonderfully felt private.

- 296 -

"Wow," I said before kicking off my shoes and burying my bare feet in the sand. It

wasn't as soft as what we were used to, but it was still heaven. "Can we go skinny
dipping?"

"I guess we could," he said while looking around to make sure no one was in

viewing range. "But it would sure be cold."

"Oh, right."

Edward took off his shoes and socks as well and we walked down to the waves,

and as he predicted, the water was absolutely freezing….

So we settled for sex on the beach.

It wasn't as great as the sex on our island beach was, but considering everything

that had happened between us over the past few days, it was absolute magic.

After we were finished, we just cuddled and watched the moon over the water for

a while, before Edward remembered something abruptly.

"God, I'm an idiot!" he said, being way too hard on himself.

"What?" I asked.

"Hold on." He dug in his coat pocket -which we had just finished having sex on –

and then pulled out a rectangular box with a tiny bow on it. "I didn't wrap it…cause I
don't know how and I definitely wasn't about to ask my mom."

"Edward, this whole night was more than enough," I said, wishing he didn't buy

me something on top of it all.

"As much as I don't get along with my mother, we had somewhat of the same idea.

This belonged to my grandma…my dad's mom. Well, it partially belonged to her….I'll
explain after you open it."

I opened up the box and was surprised to see a beautiful silver charm bracelet.

"See, I bought the bracelet, but this was my grandmother's," he said of the

heart-shaped diamond hanging from it.

"It's so beautiful, thank you," I said emotionally.

- 297 -

"Wait there's more," he said, pointing out the other charm dangling there. It was a

silver starfish with a brilliant blue sapphire in the middle. "See, the heart represents
me…cause well, you know, and the starfish is for Em and it has her birthstone in the
middle."

I could feel the tears building in my eyes, and then they rolled over on my cheeks.

I couldn't imagine a more perfect gift, and I knew I'd wear it for the rest of my life.

"It's not as glamorous as that ring I made you, but," he said jokingly.

"I love both of them….equally," I told him seriously as I looked at them together on

my left hand and wrist.

We stayed there together for a little while longer, and then finally decided it was

getting late and we should get back. Edward texted Rose and Emmett, who he
explained were also enjoying an evening out close by, and then we walked back to
the restaurant to wait for them.

Edward and I held hands all the way back to Forks, and when we arrived at

Charlie's house, I was ecstatic but surprised when he got out with me.

"I'm sure Em is asleep by now," I told him, thinking he was planning to run in just

to see her before he went home.

"No, I'm staying the night…if you don't mind. I already cleared it with Charlie."

"Forget Charlie, what about your mom?"

He shrugged.

"Edward, this isn't a good idea," Rose said, butting in to our conversation from her

opened car window. "Esme is going to be pissed if we leave you here."

"Don't really care," he replied while surprising me again by pulling his backpack

out of the trunk. Rose stared at him incredulously. "What? Fine, I'll text her so she
knows I'm alive and not kidnapped by aliens or blood sucking demons."

"When you play with fire you're going to get burned," she told him slowly,

apparently hoping to get through to him.

"And who's going to burn me, Rose?" Edward said condescendingly. "Don't worry,

my mom will get over it. Thanks for the ride, you can leave now."

- 298 -

Rose shot me one of Esme's famous glares, and I couldn't help but wonder if Esme

taught it to her. Rose was Edward's father's niece so she wasn't related to Esme by
blood, but that look would make me think otherwise. She then shook her head at
Edward before Emmett finally drove them away.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked him reluctantly. I wanted him to spend the

night more than anything, but I was finally getting in Esme's good graces and I
didn't want to ruin that either.

"Look, I had a talk with her after you left this afternoon."

"Okay?" I said slowly. But we had arrived at the front door so we decided to put

off the conversation until we went inside; Em slept like a rock so I knew we'd have
no trouble talking in my room with her there.

Charlie and Sue were both asleep on the couch, so I woke them gently and told

them we were home so they could go to bed.

"Did you have fun?"Charlie asked groggily, but he wasn't really awake enough to

expect an answer.

Edward and I went upstairs and kissed Em's angelic head, and then I waited for

him to finish what he was telling me.

"It's not a big deal, I just told her that I'm not putting up with her rules anymore,

so she backed off."

"Really? Just like that?" I asked skeptically.

"Eh," he said causally. "There may have been a few threats involved."

"Threats?" I asked concerned.

"I merely brought to her attention that I would be eighteen soon enough, and if

she continued to hold stupid childish rules over me then I'd cut her out of my and
Em's life."

I gasped. "Edward."

"What…well it worked. I should have thought to threaten her from the beginning."

I shook my head at him disapprovingly, but couldn't help but smile at the same

- 299 -

time. "So you traded you overprotective mother for an overbearing cousin?"

"I told you, it's my lot in life….But I'm tired of it; the only woman that I'll let

control me anymore is you," he joked. "And I'm sure one day Em."

I giggled and then shut off the lights before pulling him to bed…

- 300 -

Trust

Chapter 27 – Trust

The morning after the best birthday ever, was so great that I started feeling like

nothing was going to get us down again. We weren't just strong, we were
unbreakable and there wasn't a better feeling then that.

But even though the morning was amazing, it wasn't exactly perfect. I had made

an appointment to get my license that afternoon, so my father decided to surprise
me with what he called a belated birthday present, but I just called it an old beat up
truck.

"Wow Charlie, this is awesome!" Edward said excitedly when he saw it.

"Uh… thanks dad," I said, far less enthused than my better half. I mean, I was

grateful and all, but the thing was hideous and I was worried that it may scare
oncoming traffic and cause a massive pileup.

"Now, I know it doesn't look all that nice, but it's strong and dependable," Charlie

explained. "You could get a head on collision with a logger truck and you'd still be
ok."

"It's perfect for her," Edward said casually.

I glared at my two favorite men for a few moments, before sighing and deciding

they were right. The old me would have snubbed my nose up and refused to be seen
in it, but the new me refused to care how the truck looked just as long as it was safe
enough for Em.

"So, what do you say we go find a parking lot and go through a refresher course?"

Charlie offered.

"Uh…" I checked my watch. "I guess we have a little time."

Since changing my schedule, Edward and I both started school at ten and would

go until two. It was actually perfect considering Em's most active playtimes were in
the mornings between seven and nine, and the afternoons from three to six. We still
hated leaving her, but we were ecstatic to be with her when she was the most awake
and happy.

- 301 -

"Ok, now buckle up," Charlie instructed.

"Dad, I do remember how to drive," I told him. I had my permit before being

stranded, and like most teens I had driven as much as my parents would allow so I
was still confident in my ability.

"Yeah, well you seemed to have a hard time remembering a lot of things when you

fist got back," he argued.

"That was only because my brain was on island mode and I had let go of

everything else…but now that I'm back, I remember everything again….Including
how to drive."

"It's not riding a bike, Bella…and just so we're on the same page, I remember

everything from before as well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked with humorous offense.

"Everyone in Forks remembers how you drove back then…especially the owners of

the four different parked cars you had hit."

Oh yeah, I guess I did forget about those minor incidents.

"I'm more responsible than I used to be," I tried to assure both of us.

"Well, you have to be, you're a mama now."

"Exactly, so have a little faith."

Charlie was right, I wasn't the best driver but I'd be damned if I failed. Driving

meant independence, and my little family needed our independence.

"You need to try to park inside the lines," Charlie said slowly after my second

attempt.

"Didn't I?"

"Well, no, you parked on the line."

Crap.

So I tried again and eventually got it right. We drove around a little, and Charlie

- 302 -

even broke the law for me by allowing me to drive on an actual street. Once I
calmed down and settled into all the motions again I did fairly well, but I was still
worried about the test.

We were only gone for about thirty minutes or so, which gave me plenty of time to

play with Em for awhile before school.

"So how'd it go?" Edward asked.

Charlie sighed.

"That bad huh?" Edward said with a laugh.

"No, not that bad; she definitely could have done worse," Charlie said playfully

before grabbing his keys and leaving for the day.

Edward wrapped me in his arms and kissed my forehead. "Maybe getting your

license isn't the best idea."

"It's going to be fine," I said assuredly. "I can't stand being at the mercy of other

people to drive us everywhere anymore."

"Ok," he said with a smile. "Speaking of which, how are we getting to school

today?"

"Renee," I said with a huff.

"So…can she stay with Em today then as well?"

"But your mom was supposed to watch her on Thursdays."

"I'd rather my mom not watch her anymore…At least not for a while."

"Was she really that mad when you told her you weren't going to follow her rules

anymore?" I asked incredulously.

"It's not about that, she… I just don't want her watching Em for awhile, ok?"

"Um…ok," I said, taken aback by his strange tone. I planned to ask him more later,

but at that moment I could tell he wasn't in the mood to be discussing his problems
with his mother and I didn't want to push him.

- 303 -

Renee came and took Edward and me to school, and was more than happy about

spending the day with Em.

"We'll go shopping," Renee said excitedly.

"You sure Esme can't take her?" I whispered to Edward.

"She'll be fine," he replied. We kissed Em goodbye and then walked towards our

Marine Biology class together.

Of course, the moment we entered the classroom all the other students gawked

and snickered, and surprisingly, since I had Edward there with me, I wasn't
bothered by it. Edward chose to ignore those around us, so I followed his lead and
did the same.

"Now, as most of you are aware, Marine Biology 2 classes used to go on a

weeklong trip at sea to study marine life firsthand and we based the rest of the
semester on our findings there," the teacher said to the class. "But two years ago
the boat returned with two less students; thankfully, they have finally returned."
Then he turned to us. "I was thinking as a way to make up some of your missed
credits, the two of you could answer questions about your time on the island."

I glanced at Edward horrified, but he didn't look concerned whatsoever.

"No problem, Mr. Molina," Edward replied.

The first kid raised his hand. "Uh, when you have sex on a beach, does sand really

get in all your various crevasses?"

"Steven!" the teacher chided. "You can take a trip to the principal's office for that

one."

"It's ok, Mr. Molina," Edward said casually. "The answer is yes."

"Ok, ok, let's keep the questions and answers about Marine Biology," the teacher

said irritated.

The next kid raised his hand. "If a seat turtle were to …go down on another sea

turtle in the ocean, would they inhale a bunch of water?"

"That's enough!" the teacher shouted irately. It was safe to say questions were

done – Thank god.

- 304 -

After that horrific exercise was over, our disturbed teacher resorted to making the

class watch a video on the ecosystem of tropical reefs. It was odd but everything on
that video was familiar and almost felt like watching an old home movie, and
learning the scientific names of everything was actually quite fascinating as well. At
one point I glanced over at Edward expecting him to be just as entranced with the
video as I was, except he wasn't.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I whispered.

"Nothing," he said like he was half asleep.

"Oh, did I keep you up too much last night?" I asked playfully.

He smiled. "Not nearly enough."

"Mr. Cullen," the teacher said suddenly. "I realize being in class is not what you're

used to, but if you don't mind, I'd appreciate you keeping quiet while the video is
on."

"Sorry," he mumbled and then proceeded to watch the screen blankly.

I was enjoying the show, but at the same time I was glad when it was over – I

really wanted to talk to Edward and see what was going on with him.

"So, what was that about?" I asked him as he walked me to my next class.

"What?" he played dumb.

"Oh, I don't know; the part of class where you answered questions about our sex

life without batting an eye and then you almost fell asleep during the video?"

"Questions about our sex life? I didn't mention anything about our sex life."

"The sex on the beach thing. I surely hope you haven't been having sex on the

beach with anyone else."

"It was just a general question."

"That was asked of you because they all know you've done it….with me."

"So you're upset because everyone knows we've had sex on a beach?" he asked

clueless.

- 305 -

"No, I'm not upset, just surprised that you would even answer the question."

"Bella, we have a daughter who was born while we were stranded on an island, I

think everyone came to the conclusion that we've had plenty of sex on a beach."

"That's not my point, and I'm not upset."

"So, what's your point then?"

What was my point? Oh right… "You're just acting strange, and you looked really

tired…or were you bored?"

"Man Bella, I swear, I never remembered Marine Biology being so boring and I

have to admit that I'm regretting taking it again."

"You always loved all that stuff…and whatever happened to 'we should take the

class together because we lived it'?"

"I know, but there was nothing on that lame video that I didn't already know. It's

like…being able to read at a college level but only having preschool books
available…. I don't know how else to explain it."

"Oh….well, some of us need to start with preschool level books," I said slightly

bitter.

"No, babe, I wasn't trying to knock you or anyone else, but for me it's just all stuff

I already know."

"So are you going to drop the class? I mean, it's still early in the semester, maybe

there will be stuff later that you haven't learned yet."

He smiled at me. "I'd rather be bored out of my mind with you by my side then

being intellectually stimulated somewhere away from you."

I smiled back at him, because let's face it, it's was impossible not to. "Thanks…. I

think. That was a good thing, right?" I asked unsure.

"It's definitely a good thing," he said before leaning in to kiss me. "I'll see you at

lunch. Where should we meet?"

I looked around and realized just at that moment that we had arrived at my

classroom. "How did you find my class so easily?" I asked, not exactly knowing

- 306 -

where we were myself.

"I was a geek, remember? I knew this entire place like the back of my hand…" he

shrugged. "I didn't have anything else to do but walk the halls back then. Kind of
like our time apart on the island; it wasn't long before I had the entire place
memorized."

I nodded like I understood, and then I wrapped my arms around him to kiss him

goodbye. "Meet me at the picnic tables behind the cafeteria."

"Ok," he said before kissing me one more time. "I love you."

I grinned widely. "I love you too."

My next class went slowly, and I was just as bored as Edward looked during

Marine Bio. Thankfully, lunch was next and I'd only have one more class before my
appointment to get my license.

"So, how was math?" I asked Edward as he walked up to our meeting place at

lunch time.

"Boring," he said flatly. "How was Spanish?"

"Hard…but pretty boring as well. I hate that I have so much trouble paying

attention in such an important class."

"Why is it so important?"

"When we were in Mexico, I swore to myself that I'd learn the language if ever

given the opportunity. But it's like…my brain just shuts off when trying to absorb the
information."

"Well, maybe it's just too much too soon. I think we need to take a vacation."

"A vacation? I think we just got back from a two year vacation."

He nodded. "True…Maybe next time we'll go somewhere with snow…How about a

ski resort?"

"Do you ski?"

"No, but there's a first for everything."

- 307 -

"Ok, we'll try skiing next…even though it snows here and a vacation in the snow

will probably be the last thing we'll want to do."

"I want to do it all."

I smiled. "Me too. Together though, right?"

"Of course, that goes without saying."

We walked hand in hand through the cafeteria and pretended to not see the

intrusive stares as we went, but we ultimately decided we'd rather eat worms then
whatever was being served for lunch. So instead of eating, we decided to spend our
free time lounging on the big grassy hill on the backside of the quad. We weren't
completely alone, but most people around were just passing by or minding their own
business.

We started out just having a light conversation about nothing in particular, but

then, of course, things turned for the worst….or maybe it was for the better, I wasn't
quite sure.

"Can I ask you something?" he said hesitantly.

"Sure, you can ask me anything."

"Ok, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but….why the hell are you

wearing that skirt?"

I looked down at my Renee approved-but perhaps a little too short -skirt. "What do

you mean?" I asked innocently. I used to wear things much more revealing to school
before, but I did feel odd in it with my new found modesty.

"You're really driving me crazy with it, and I think you're doing it on purpose."

"Hey, this is practically a nun's dress compared to what I wore on the island," I

said defensively.

"If more nuns dressed like you then every man in the world would become

Catholic."

"Is this one of those New Edward personality traits?" I asked playfully.

"Well I did tell you that New Edward definitely has some jealously issues, but no.

- 308 -

You're just too freaking sexy and all I want to do is ditch the rest of the day and go
have sex somewhere."

I giggled. "But I have my driving test soon."

"Crap! And I have swimming practice."

"So, we'll have sex tonight after Em goes to sleep."

He huffed. "How the hell am I supposed to concentrate on anything else until

then?"

I laughed at the adorable way he was pouting, and then climbed onto his lap.

"Oh this is not helping," he said evenly.

I pushed him back so he was reclining on the hill, and he responded by caressing

his hands up my bare legs and right under my skirt to the crease at my inner thigh.
Very slowly, both his thumbs slid under the elastic of my panties.

"You're really asking for trouble," I warned him.

"Why, no one's paying attention," he said before lightly pushing his thumbs in

further.

I glanced around to make double sure that no one was watching, and then looked

down at the way my skirt was covering us. "Alright, just remember you're the one
who started this."

"Started what?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

I could feel his growing erection through his pants, and as the good girlfriend that

I was, I just knew I had to take care of it for him….that, and the fact that the feeling
of his hardness had certainly turned me on even more than I already was. So while
continuing to look around, I slid my hand between us under my skirt, and undid his
pants.

"Uh…"

"You started it," I reiterated while shoving down his underwear just enough to free

him.

- 309 -

"Bella, wa-" he didn't have time to finish his protest because in one swift move, I

pushed my panties to the side and sunk down onto him. "Holy shit," he grunted.

My breathing sped and I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement from the way

we were attached in a very public setting.

After recovering from the initial shock of it, he got control of himself enough to

speak again. "You're fucking crazy."

I smiled and then very slowly lifted myself up, only to push right back down on

him again.

"Oh my god," he moaned.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked seductively.

"No," he choked out.

If anyone did take notice of us, they'd probably just think we were just playing

around because we weren't making out or even holding each other close; the only
visible contact between us was my legs straddling his seemingly fully covered lap,
and his hands in the region of my thighs. We both took turns looking around
regardless, but after a few minutes I decided to forget there were any people around
at all. I continued my subtle movements, but if we were to get caught I doubted I'd
even care; it felt amazing and the excitement only added to it. Sex outside was what
we were used to, and not even the threat of expulsion could dampen it.

As the intensity grew, I could feel Edward guiding my rhythm with his hands still

on my hips, which was more than fine by me. He could never relinquish control
completely and I secretly loved that about him.

But then…

"Oh fuck Bella, I swear I'm about to roll over and start pounding into you."

I giggled. "I think people would notice that."

"Don't really care."

"We'd get expelled," I said as I continued to move slowly on top of him.

"Good," he huffed.

- 310 -

"I'm eighteen so I'd probably get arrested for indecent exposure or committing a

lewd act in public," I warned him.

"Shit," he said. "Well I can't get you arrested; your dad would never forgive me."

"Right, so just shut up and take it," I said with another giggle.

I moved a few more times, but then he lost it. "Nope, can't do it, get off."

"What? No way."

"I will push you off," he threatened. "I'm sure your dad can get you out of jail for

the lewd whatever."

"No, I don't want to stop," I said strongly. I was so close to the edge and stopping

right then would ruin the rest of the day for me.

But I should have known he was serious about pushing me off - he just couldn't

stand being pinned underneath me, which was the way he had been from the first
time we made love.

He lifted me off of him just enough to fasten his pants under my skirt.

"So you're going to go to your next class with a hard on?" I asked him.

"Nope," he said before scooting me off of him. He stood and pulled me up as well,

and then rushed us to the nearest bathroom…except it wasn't empty.

"Ok, your hands are clean, now get out," Edward said impatiently to the guy at the

sink.

I had never been in the boy's bathroom before, but I was definitely excited to be

there knowing what was about to happen. The guy looked at me confused, but then
shrugged and went outside.

"I don't think this is sanitary," I joked but was serious at the same time.

"Don't worry; the only thing that's going to actually touch your skin is me."

He pulled me into him and crashed his lips onto mine before lifting me up against

the wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he held me up with one hard while
undoing his pants with the other. And as promised, he slammed into me.

- 311 -

We were already so close to the edge before so it didn't take too long for our

climax to overtake us, which was perfect timing since the first bell rang as we were
finishing and pulling apart.

"You know, I walked in on someone having sex in this bathroom before," he said

unexpectedly.

"Really? And what, you just wanted to try it?"

He laughed. "No, I actually found it disturbing and rather disgusting at the

time…But it was the only private place I could think of."

"Well, after I get my license we'll have the car."

He nodded absently. "I really hope you pass."

"Me too, and then I'll drive back here to pick you up afterwards."

"Can't wait," he said with a breathtaking smile.

We kissed goodbye and then went to our separate classes, and afterwards I

headed to my DMV appointment.

"So, are you nervous?" Charlie asked as he drove me there.

"No….Well, I guess a little," I admitted.

"So what's Edward doing right now, I thought you two had the same schedule?"

"We do, but he has swimming today so it works out. I'm planning to pick him up

afterwards."

"I'm sure you're going to do fine. You can do anything you set your mind to."

"Thanks dad."

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was beyond nervous. Failing wasn't an

option for me, and I refused to allow it to happen. Fortunately both the written and
the driving tests went smoothly and I passed with flying colors. I was so excited that
I nearly ran three stop signs on my way back to school.

I felt like I was flying. Everything was finally going right again, and I couldn't wait

- 312 -

for the more independent stage of our lives.

I figured Edward would just be finishing his practice, so I practically ran to the

boy's locker room hoping to catch him on his way out, but when I got there I felt like
the wind had been knocked out of me – Edward was standing there with a very
animated Tanya, and he was smiling at whatever she was saying.

A part of me felt like running away and crying, another part felt like hiding around

a corner and trying to hear what they were talking about, but when she handed him
a folded piece of white paper and then put her sleazy hand on his arm in a flirtatious
way, my claws came out.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked while grabbing the same arm that Tanya had

touched. Edward was mine, and I wasn't about to let some skank come in and try to
get between us.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Edward asked me enthusiastically as he pushed the paper into

his pocket.

"Great, I passed," I said evenly.

"Seriously? That's awesome!"

"Bella, god, it's been forever," Tanya butted in. Without warning she leaned in and

hugged me against my will. "I've missed you so much, and I can honestly say there
hasn't been a day that's gone by when I haven't thought about you."

"Hmm, well, I haven't given you a single thought since the last time I saw you, in

fact, I forgot you even existed until this minute," I said harshly. "We should be going;
our daughter is waiting for us at home."

"Uh….well, it was nice talking to you," Edward said to Tanya.

"You too," she said, and I could have sworn she was about to try to hug him too so

I pulled him away before she had a chance.

"So how was practice?" I asked casually as we headed towards the parking lot.

"Whoa, back up, what was that about?"

"Oh come on, she was totally flirting with you so I was just making sure she knew

you were mine."

- 313 -

"She was not flirting with me," he said defensively. "We just ran into each other

and got to talking."

"Talking about what?"

He shrugged. "Nothing in particular."

"You looked really into whatever she was saying."

"No. Look, I told you before that she was really the only person that was nice to

me at this school, so she was just saying hi and whatnot."

"And she wasn't flirting?" I asked skeptically.

"No."

"And what was that paper she handed you?"

"Oh," he said pulling it out of his pocket. "She actually kept that old poem I wrote

her. Isn't that hilarious?"

I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"I was actually just going to show you and then throw it away."

"Why'd you put it in your pocket then?"

"I don't know, I did it without thinking. Jeeze Bella, what the hell is with the third

degree, you're acting like I cheated on you or something."

"No, I just know how Tanya works, and I don't like it. The fact that she gave you

back your old love letter after all this time is just proof that she wants you."

He thought about it for a moment, and then shook his head. "It wasn't like that. It

was just a casual conversation between…old friends."

He was so innocently naive when it came to dating in high school, but I needed

him to understand exactly what she was up to.

"She was only nice to you back then when no one else was around, and it was

probably just to get you to do her homework. That doesn't sound like the kind of
person you should want to be friends with. She knows you had a thing for her, and

- 314 -

now that you've grown into yourself she's going to use that to get to you… God, I
knew this was going to happen."

"You're acting irrationally. If that was true before, maybe she's changed. People

do change, Bella; we're both proof of that."

"Oh, she hasn't changed," I said with a humorless laugh.

"And how would you know that when you just admitted to not seeing her since

we've been back? Besides, even if she was flirting and wanted me or whatever, what
the hell difference does that make to us?"

I sighed. "It doesn't. It's just…she was your first love so seeing you together like

that just freaked me out a bit," I admitted.

He cradled my face in his hands gently. "Tanya wasn't my first love...she was just

a childhood crush, nothing more. A crush that disappeared a long time ago when I
did fall in love for the first time... You are my first and only love, so give me a little
credit and trust me."

"I do trust you," I said much calmer and couldn't help but smile despite myself. I

was still sure Tanya was going to try to get between us, but Edward was right, it
didn't make a difference. We had been through so much together and there was no
way someone as insignificant as Tanya could ever pull him away from me.

- 315 -

Whiplash

Chapter 28 – Whiplash

Thankfully, we rounded out the rest of our school week without any issues, and

spent that weekend making up for our time away by taking Em to the zoo, just the
three of us. Edward and I loved watching our daughter's face light up as she saw
new animals for the first time; it was probably our best family day since leaving the
island.

But when it was time to go back to school on Monday, we had to ask Renee to

babysit yet again, which was a less than desirable arrangement.

"Maybe I can talk to Esme about you living with us…You know, try to make her

feel a little better about it," I suggested to Edward, really hoping the strain in his
relationship with his mother would end soon so she could watch Em again. I loved
my mother, but I wasn't too happy about her bird-brained antics caring for our one
year old every day.

"Bella, I told you, I'm not going to let her babysit anymore," he said irritated.

"But you never told me why."

"Because it's not important," he snapped at me, but then sighed. "Just drop it, ok?"

he said, a little softer.

"Ok," I found myself agreeing. I hated that he was keeping it from me, but I

trusted him more than anyone in the world and if he had a reason to keep me in the
dark when it came to his mother, then I chose to not push the subject.

Now secrets when it came to other women would never be tolerated.

"Can you just tell me if Tanya tries to talk to you again?" I asked carefully, not

wanting to sound like a jealous paranoid freak.

"We only talked that once, and the times we've crossed paths since she didn't even

attempt to say hi. It's really not anything to worry about," he assured me.

"I know…but I still don't trust her. I'll bet you anything she'll find a reason to be

close to you."

- 316 -

I did sound like an idiot, but thankfully Edward just laughed at me and pulled me

in close to him so he could kiss my forehead. "I love you," he murmured into my hair.

"I love you too," I replied while inhaling his scent deep into my lungs.

That afternoon Edward had his first swim meet, and as much as I wanted to get

home to Em, there was no way I was going to miss it. Charlie was off work early and
would be able to relieve Renee with babysitting duties, so I felt a little better about
it.

The bleachers were jammed packed, and as I sat there with Angela I could hear

bits and pieces of people's conversations…all of which were centered around the '
island boy who probably raced sharks to get so fast'. A part of me wanted to confirm
their gossip and tell them that he did in fact out-swim an occasional shark, but when
it came down to it, I really didn't care what they thought or said, and I knew Edward
didn't either. But even more than that, I was becoming increasingly more nervous
with every passing minute.

"Do you think he's not going to do so well?" Angela asked hesitantly after noticing

the anxious way I was bouncing my knee and chewing on my thumb nail.

"No, I think he's going to do fine… It's just…" I actually wasn't sure why I was so

nervous.

"You're worried about him," Angela guessed.

"Yeah. I guess I've had a bad habit of worrying about him," I admitted while

suddenly having a flashback about his first swim out to the island reef sans life-vest.
And then I thought of something horrifying. "God, I'm such an idiot."

"What?" Angela asked concerned.

"Poor Edward had to grow up with an overbearing mother and cousins, and now

he's stuck with someone just like me who's just as paranoid. God, he wasn't kidding
when he said it was his lot in life."

"Oh Bella, I really don't see how that's the same thing. I mean, a motherly concern

is definitely more suffocating for any guy than a girlfriend's concern. You love him
and just want him to be ok, whereas his mom….loves him and just wants him to be
ok," she said, realizing that perhaps it wasn't that different after all.

- 317 -

"I just wish he would tell me what's really going on. He seems more upset than he

should be from her smothering."

Angela didn't know everything about the situation but I had told her enough for

her to vaguely understand. It actually felt really good to have a normal girlfriend
after so long, and I was glad to have her to talk to.

"Wow, speak of the devil," Angela said suddenly. "Well, I don't think she's a devil,

but you know what I mean."

I turned to see Esme hovering in the back as if she didn't want anyone to see her –

or perhaps she just didn't want to see a certain someone to see her. Had their
relationship gotten so bad that he'd be upset if he knew she was there? It was
actually quite sad.

Edward emerged from the locker room with the rest of his team as well as the

opposing swimmers. I wasn't exactly sure how meets worked, but when Edward took
off his robe thing, I really didn't care about the logistics.

God, you would think I had never seen him without a shirt by the way I

uncontrollably ogled his perfectly toned torso. He was just beautiful; there was no
other way to describe him. But as I began to accept the fact that I wasn't the only
chick there who saw Edward in that way, a new feeling devoured me…Was it pride
for my boyfriend, or was it something a little more shallow like smugness? He was
mine, and I secretly loved the satisfaction of that. Out of all the girls who wanted
him, he only wanted me, and that was more than a little heady.

The team seemed to switch from the skimpy Speedos they wore during tryouts to

the tight shorts type, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was by Edward's
persuasion. He had made it perfectly clear that he wouldn't wear the other type;
however he did compromise by putting on a swim cap.

"Aw, why the hell would they make him cover his sex hair?" I heard a girl say over

the chatter of the crowd.

I couldn't help but giggle by her comment. If Edward wasn't hot as hell, his so

called 'sex hair' would just be considered 'a mess'. It goes to show how fickle some
girls could be.

When Edward and the other racers were told to take their marks, I was pleasantly

surprised to see Edward conform to the same position as the others, and when the
loud noise sounded, Edward dove in the water just as gracefully as the more

- 318 -

experienced competitors….but he hit the water much further away from the sheer
strength of his jump.

"Oh, he should slow down," Angela mumbled shyly. "He's going to burn out before

the last lap….My brother used to race."

"He hasn't been doing this very long so I'm sure he's still learning," I said absently

as I stayed fixated on my Edward. Angela didn't see him swim before, and didn't
realize the immense power that he was capable of so she based her comment on the
swimmers she knew before – And Edward didn't burn out, or even slow, if anything
he only picked up speed.

But as I watched him cut through the waves like a knife to butter, I noticed

something strange. He was using anger as fuel…

Since our talk on my birthday, Edward had seemed happy. We had been really

happy together. Nothing had changed since then, but watching him swim like that
was making me think otherwise. He reminded me of when Charlie would come home
from work after a particularly rough day, and he would take out his tension on his
punching bag in the backyard. Renee had always told me it was his way to unwind,
but as I grew up I figured out what it really was… A way to release the suppressed
rage so that he could remain even tempered the rest of his time. Is that what
Edward was doing? Burying all his remaining anger until it was time to swim.

Charlie's anger had come from stupid criminals which were forced upon him as

part of his job as a police officer, but why was Edward still so angry? He had me and
Em, we were together and that was all he really wanted, right? There had to be
something that I was missing, and even though I highly doubted it was because he
missed his mother, I had a sick feeling that she was a part of it or at least knew
where it came from.

I made up my mind right then that if Edward wasn't going to tell me, then I was

going to question Esme - I met her when she asked; she owed me the same courtesy.

Edward won the race by a half of a pool length, which Angela was astonished by,

but I already knew he'd do remarkable. After just a few practices, his form and
mechanics had improved tenfold and he looked like he had been swimming in that
way for years. But as proud of him as I was, my mind was stuck on Esme and I really
needed to catch her before she left.

She had already walked out of the building, but I was able to get to her before she

made it to the parking lot.

- 319 -

"Esme, wait," I said, but she didn't stop so I grabbed her arm gently and forced

her to look at me.

The moment her eyes met mine, I let go of her arm as if she physically shocked

me. Her face…. Her eyes….she just looked so…sad. But she only let her emotions
show for a moment, and just like her son, she buried them deep down and put on a
perfect mask of happy friendliness.

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," she said with a smile. "How are you

sweetheart, and how's Em?"

"Em's good. I'm sure she misses you though," I said, trying to break the ice.

"Well, I definitely miss her little angel face like crazy. Will you give her a kiss for

me?"

"Of course….Though, I wish I knew why you can't kiss her yourself," I said

suggestively, hoping she'd get the hint and tell me what was going on. I actually felt
horrible for going to her, but after watching Edward swim like that, I knew whatever
it was would only build until it exploded. Something was definitely very wrong, and I
couldn't just accept Edward's choice to keep me out of the loop any more.

"So…Edward hasn't…talked to you…at all?" Esme said uncomfortably.

"No, so I was hoping you would."

She stared at me for a moment and looked as though the words were right there

on the tip of her tongue, but then she sighed. "Honey, if there's one thing I've
learned about Edward since he's been back, it's that he doesn't like people going
behind his back. You need to talk to him."

"I tried, but he just keeps telling me it's not a big deal and I should leave it alone,"

I said frustrated.

"He may think it's not a big deal now, but….deep down…I think he knows that it

is. Keep trying; maybe he'll open up. I just really hope it doesn't come out another
way." She reached out and squeezed my arm tenderly. "I want you to know that
regardless of what happens, I care about the three of you immensely and I only pray
we can have some kind of relationship again someday."

Esme's words only added to my concern. What the hell was going on?

- 320 -

After the swim meet, Edward was back to his happy self and we were both eager

to get home to see Em, so once again, I wasn't really able to question him more.

We had a really good evening, and Edward almost seemed even more attentive to

me and Em than usual – if that were even possible. We played and laughed and
Edward even blew up an entire bag of balloons for Em to chase around the house.
He obviously had great lung capacity, but I honestly didn't know how he didn't pass
out from all that blowing.

"This!" Em squealed as she chased the bright yellow balloon.

"It's a ba-llooon," Edward told her slowly as she watched his lips.

"Whoonn," she tried repeating.

We both laughed. "Ba-lloon," Edward said again.

"Whoon," she repeated excitedly before throwing it in the air. "This," she said

pointing up at it. She then ran around saying "This" at all the other balloons in the
room. Edward and I chased her and kept hitting them all up in the air so that we
could dance through them. It was another of those perfect magical times that I knew
I'd remember for the rest of my life.

It had been such a wonderful day that I decided to put off the 'Esme talk' until

later – I just didn't want anything dampening it. But then Edward shocked me more
than ever with a simple question…

"Hey, would you mind if I… went out….for a little while?" he asked hesitantly.

"Out?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, I guess its tradition or something for the swim team to go out to celebrate

after a big win. I told them no, but they just keep texting me all this crap about
camaraderie and strengthening the team bond."

"Well, you should definitely go then," I said with a forced smile. I wasn't upset by

it at all, in fact, I thought it was a great idea for him to make some friends, but I was
more than a little surprised that he'd be willing to go since he hated everything
about high school.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "It'll probably only be a couple hours or so."

- 321 -

"Yeah, totally. Do you even know where they're going?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. What do guys like that do to celebrate?"

I thought about what I used to do with my friends after a big football win. "Party?"

I assumed.

He shook his head. "No, I told them I don't do that crap. Besides, if it was a party

then they'd want girls there. They specifically said no girlfriends…. Oh shit, do you
think it's going to be some freaky initiation thing where they make me run around
naked through town?"

I laughed. "If it is then text me so I can go watch."

"Ha ha," he said sarcastically.

About an hour later there was a car honking outside. "I love you," Edward said

quickly before kissing Em and I goodbye.

Em and I spent the next three hours having some quality mother-daughter time. I

tickled her, and giggled at the way she giggled, and I even did her nails – which she
surprisingly sat still for.

"This!" she said as I painted them, but when they were finished, she rubbed them

excitedly and got nail polish all over the place. Perhaps she was a little too young for
painted nails.

I tried to keep her awake long enough to see Edward when he got home, but she

was too tired from all the playing that day and fell asleep on the couch while
watching a show. After I carried her to bed, Edward finally came home.

"Hey, how'd it go?" I asked as I welcomed him inside.

"It was fine," he said vaguely. "How was your one on one time with Em? Is she

already sleeping? Man, I really was hoping to get back in time to tuck her in. I'm
going to run up there and kiss her anyway."

"Um…ok," I said as he disappeared up the stairs.

When he didn't come right back down again, I got curious and decided to go up

and check on them. I had put Em in her crib, but when I got to the room, she was
sleeping on the bed with Edward lying behind her rubbing her back.

- 322 -

"Did she wake up?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, I kissed her and then she stirred and wanted me to pick her up. She fell

right back to sleep but I wasn't ready to put her back in her bed yet."

"Oh," I said before lying down on the other side of Em. Some of my favorite times

on the island were when the three of us would lay together and just enjoy the quiet,
so it felt really good to do that again.

I never felt myself fall asleep, but the next thing I knew Em was pulling my hair

and the bright sun was shining through the window.

"Good morning, baby," I said groggily as Em's hair pulling turned into her patting

my face.

When she was satisfied that I was awake, Em turned her attention to her daddy

and proceeded to poke at his face until he woke up as well. "Hey princess," he said
lovingly before sitting up and peppering kisses all over her face.

"Ah dada!" Em squealed.

We ate breakfast together before heading out to school for the day. "Maybe we

should think about daycare," I suggested, still having an issue with Renee
babysitting.

"Do you think that's a good idea? She's never been around other kids," Edward

said concerned. "What if they're mean to her?"

"She's going to have to learn to play with others eventually. I mean, I'd rather her

stay with…." I was about to say 'Esme' but I let my sentence trail off because the last
thing I wanted was to get into an argument at the moment. Instead, I tried a
different approach. "I just wish we had someone in the family that was more
qualified to watch her some of the time."

"Well, your dad works so I have no idea who else could do it… Maybe a daycare

wouldn't be so bad after all. Especially since we're only gone for four hours a day."

"Except when you have swim meets," I pointed out.

"Maybe you shouldn't go to those anymore. It's not a big deal anyway, and I could

get one of the guys to take me home afterwards."

- 323 -

"But I like going," I said quietly.

"Why?"

"Because you're my boyfriend and I love watching you do whatever you're doing."

"Boyfriend?" he said with a smirk. "Why does that always sound so weird?"

I smiled. "It's just like saying 'I love you'. They're just words that don't properly

describe how we feel about each other."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Or maybe it's just because I was so used to calling you

my wife on the island. It kind of feels like a downgrade."

"Well, hurry up and turn eighteen so we can make it legal," I said jokingly but was

completely serious.

"Getting closer every day," he said with a chuckle before hugging me tightly. "Just

think, by this time next year we could be married and living in a little two bedroom
apartment by the JC."

"That would be nice…but we need jobs too. With school and work, when will we

ever see each other or Em?"

"You have no idea how much money I'm getting from my dad when I turn

eighteen. We won't have to work, especially not full time; we can just focus on
school and Em. It'll all work out, you'll see," he said excitedly. "We could even have
another baby and still be fine financially."

"Well, I can't wait," I said before stretching up on my toes to kiss him.

"Me either. The sooner we get away from this shithole town, the better," he said

unexpectedly. I had really thought he was beginning to like being back since fitting
in so well at school, so his comment took me by surprise.

"The JC isn't that far from here," I pointed out.

"Well, it's still out of Forks and away from the stupid people here. Maybe after the

JC we'll transfer to a school even further away. Preferably out of state."

As much as I didn't like a lot of people in Forks, I wasn't sure moving so far away

was the best idea. It would devastate Charlie and even Esme if they ever reconciled.

- 324 -

But we had plenty of time to figure it all out, so I wasn't the least bit worried.

A few days passed, and there was suddenly another change happening, and I

wasn't sure if it was a good change or a bad one.

"Yo Edward," a jock wearing a varsity jacket said while giving Edward a hi-five as

we walked by. Since word spread of his amazing swimming skills, Edward had
quickly become the guy in school that everyone wanted to be friends with whether
he liked it or not.

But it seemed the more friends he got, the more time he spent away…

"You're going out again?" I asked that night after hearing a honk outside the

house, and then Edward grabbed his coat.

"Just for a short time," he said apologetically. "I'll be back soon."

"Whatever happened to wanting to get away from the 'stupid people in Forks'?" I

asked him because his change in attitude towards it all was giving me whiplash.

"I do, but going along with it is easier then saying no. If I had it my way, we'd still

be alone on the island."

I smiled at him. "Well, hurry back so we can pretend to be there again until

morning," I said suggestively.

I almost expected him to get excited by what I way implying and decide not to go

out, but he just smiled and kissed me quickly before leaving.

Did he really just choose to go out with friends over staying in to have sex with

me? I supposed we had sex all the time and it could wait until he got back, but it still
freaked me out a little.

….

"Is everything ok?" Angela asked me later that week. Edward had gone off

somewhere with some of his friends, so I was having lunch with her and I was more
than a little distracted.

"Yeah, sorry…It's just, Edward has been out three times this week, and now he's

- 325 -

spending lunch away from me too. I just….miss him."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like your relationship is

becoming…normal," Angela said slowly. "My boyfriend is always off with his friends
too. We don't live together or have a child, but I think it's healthy to spend some
time with other people."

I guess she was right, we were becoming more of a normal couple…and I hated it.

"What's important is that everything is ok when you are together," she added

encouragingly.

"Yeah, I guess, and things a good when we're together…really good. I mean, we

never fight and we're really happy. But it's weird, it's like…he drops everything
when one of his friends wants to go out. The other night he left right in the middle of
dinner."

"Have you asked him about it?"

"No, I don't want to discourage him."

"Well, having friends is new for him; I'm sure it's all just innocent fun – Didn't you

say he's always been surrounded by women? I bet he's just enjoying the guy time.
Why don't you go out with friends as well? Me and the girls are going to the movies
this weekend, why don't you come with us? I really think that if you went out
sometimes as well, it won't be as hard when he does. And when was the last time the
two of you went out together as a couple?"

"My birthday... I guess you're right," I said with a sigh. "He's not doing anything

wrong; I just need to find time to go out too."

So I made plans to go with Angela and her friends, which Edward was completely

supportive of.

"Ok, I'll be back in two hours," I said to him anxiously. I still wasn't too thrilled

about leaving them to go hang out with friends. It just didn't feel right.

"Babe, you never go out, just relax and have fun. Go to dinner afterwards,"

Edward encouraged me.

"But I need to come back and cook for you."

- 326 -

"We'll be fine," he assured me before kissing my head and practically pushing me

out of the house.

But the movie was slow, and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to be

home with my family.

"I think I'm going to go," I whispered to Angela after just a half hour into the

movie.

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Yeah, sorry."

Luckily, I drove there and Angela could get a ride home with one of her other

friends. I just couldn't justify sitting there and watching a boring movie when I could
be playing with Em and Edward. When I arrived home however, I was completely
stunned by what I saw - There was a car in the driveway, and I was fairly certain it
was Tanya's.

...

***A/N: Don't worry!I have two rules when it comes to ALL my fics. One - They

always have an HEA. Two - NO cheating!

** To Those Wondering: The story is coming to an end soon, but when it does

you'll definitely know because it'll say 'The End'

*FYI: There are a couple abbreviations that I keep using that I realized some don't

understand. Sorry about that, I hope this helps

JC= Junior College/community college

HEA = Happily Ever After

If anything else confuses you, please feel free to ask and I'll get right back to you.

- 327 -

Lies

Chapter 29 – Lies

Maybe it was immature of me, but I decided to park my truck around the corner

so they wouldn't hear me pull up, and then I snuck up to the house to listen to what
was going on. A part of me wanted to barge in there and ring Tanya's fucking neck,
but more than anything, I just needed to know what was going on once and for all.
Esme's estrangement, Edward's angry swims and his sudden nights out, and now
Tanya; they were all connected and I was terrified to find out the truth, but I needed
to know just the same.

As I walked closer to the house, I became even more scared as I thought about all

the different scenarios. Esme had said that Edward was hiding something important,
was it that he was having feelings for Tanya and too afraid to tell me? Had he been
seeing her when he said he was going out with his teammates?

The thought made me sick.

If they were in there doing…things, I wasn't sure I could ever recover from seeing

it. I seriously considered going back to my truck and forgetting I saw anything at all.
Surely if I left and came back when I was supposed to she'd be gone and I could go
back to living in denial…but there was no going back. Edward knew she was the one
person I didn't want him talking to. He swore he'd stay away. How could he do that
to me? How could he bring that bitch to my house, especially with our daughter
there?

Now, I was pissed.

But just as I was about to storm into the house and make some heads roll, I heard

the yelling…

"Edward, just calm down," the bitch said anxiously.

"The hell I will!" he shouted at her. "You have the fucking nerve to come over here

with this shit? To Bella's house? What the fuck is wrong with you, seriously!"

"I knew she was going out with her friends tonight, and I just wanted to warn you

about…."

- 328 -

"I don't need you to warn me about shit! I told you and your idiot friends last week

to mind your own fucking business!"

"Edward look, Jessica has already blabbed it to everyone she knows, so I think it's

time you tell her."

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!" he yelled angrily. "I had to have my mother

in law take my daughter to her hotel room because of your dumb ass! And I swear to
god, you're lucky she stopped by when she did because if she wasn't here when you
came, I would have physically thrown you out."

"I only came because I didn't want you to be blindsided. The truth is coming out,

there's nothing you can do about it."

There was a loud crashing noise, which sounded like something was thrown hard

against the door, and then there was a moment of silence.

"For what it's worth, I'm really sorry Edward," Tanya said gently.

"Just get the hell out," Edward replied, sounding defeated.

"What are you going to do?"

"What the hell do you care?" he yelled again.

"I was horrible to you before, and you died right after that!" she cried out. "I've

lived with that guilt for two years…Wishing I was nicer to you that day, that I could
have told my moron friends to shut the fuck up. I swore to myself that I'd never do
something like that again. That I'd be brave enough to stand up to people like
Jessica and Bella who bullied others just for the fun of it."

"Don't talk about Bella like that, you have no idea who she is," Edward warned

her.

"I'm glad she's changed. I really do think it's awesome that you were able to drag

that out of her. But it doesn't undo the facts."

"I know what the facts are…For crying out loud, get the hell out of here and leave

me the fuck alone!"

"I'm sorry," she said again before I heard light footsteps walking towards the door.

Without thinking, I hid around the side of the house so I wouldn't be seen. I was

- 329 -

probably even more confused than before, which devoured all my desires to beat her
down at the moment. Whatever was going on had nothing to do with Edward having
feelings for her, and for whatever reason, I didn't think she was trying to steal him
from me either.

It was time to talk to Edward.

I waited until Tanya drove her stupid car away before taking a deep breath and

walking back up the steps to the house. But right as I was about to open the door, a
different car pulled up behind me, and honked its horn.

The headlights were shining in my eyes so I couldn't see the driver, but when the

front door opened, I knew Edward saw me there.

"Shit," he said under his breath.

"What is going on?" I asked desperately.

He stared at me for a moment with a mix of emotions, before looking behind me at

the car waiting.

"I have to go. Em's with your mom," he said quietly before walking past me and

getting into the car.

I was so lost and confused, and suddenly I felt like whatever was going on was

going to ruin everything. My entire world seemed to be crashing down and I had no
idea why or how.

Tanya had mentioned something about Jessica, so I decided to call her. But she

didn't answer. I figured Esme had to know what was going on, but her phone went
straight to voicemail as well. So I called Renee and thankfully she picked up.

"Hi honey, how was your night?" she asked casually.

"Why do you have my daughter?" I asked in almost a panic.

"Oh, I stopped by to bring them dinner but then some girl came over and Edward

seemed pretty upset, so I offered to take her for a while. Is everything ok?"

"No….I don't know what's going on."

"Well, Em's sleeping, why don't I just keep her here tonight so you can have some

- 330 -

time to figure it all out."

"Thanks," I said before hanging up.

I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't just sit around and do nothing, so I got in

my truck and decided to drive around until I figured it out. I went to Esme's but she
didn't answer her door, and then I found myself driving past Jessica's. I wasn't
surprised to see her street jammed packed with cars, her parents were always on
vacation so she was always having parties, but what I did not expect to see was
Tanya's car….and the car Edward had left in.

I felt like I couldn't breathe, but then something Edward said to me on my

birthday resounded in my head. "I'm going to fight for you," he had told me, and for
whatever reason, that gave me the strength I needed to get out of that car and go
inside. He said he was going to fight, so that meant I had to be willing to do the
same. What we had was far too important to let something get between us,
especially with how happy we had been lately; none of it made any sense so I would
fight everyone in that party of I had to in order to get some answers.

"Hey, Bella, welcome back," Jessica said with slurred words as I walked into her

house.

"Cut the bullshit. Where's Edward and what the hell do you know about him?" I

said strongly.

"Whoa, you are coming at me like this," she said while waving her hand in front of

her face. "You need to be coming at me like this," she said while waving her hand a
little slower before falling completely over. "I'm ok," she said from the ground before
giggling to herself.

"Bella, hey," Tanya said gently while walking up to me. "I'm glad you're here, can

we talk?"

"I don't know, can we?" I asked her. She looked confused from my question so I

explained. "I'm not exactly sure if we can talk or not, I may have to just punch your
fucking lights out depending on what you say."

"Let's go outside," she said before grabbing my arm and tugging me out the door.

"You have five minutes before I just start swinging."

"Wow, I don't remember you being so…tough before," she said nervously.

- 331 -

"I've faced starvation, sharks, poisonous snakes, and giving birth without medical

aid. I think I can handle something as pathetic as you."

"Look, I'm not interested in Edward and I'm not trying to take him from you. I've

only spoken to him three times since you guys came back. The first time was at
school when you walked up to us, the second time was last week, and
then…tonight."

"So what happened last week?" I snapped at her, seriously having a hard time

controlling my rage.

"I overheard Jessica talking about something, and I just wanted to warn him. The

thing is, he seemed to already know but he got really defensive and really angry.
This was obviously not something he wanted coming out."

"Just tell me what it is before I lose my patience!"

"Ok…. this isn't easy to say…"

But she didn't have a chance to say another word because suddenly two police

cars pulled up with their lights flashing.

"Uh oh. My parents are going to kill me if they find out I was here. I'll call you

later," Tanya said before running off towards her car.

"SHIT!" I called out in frustration.

"Bella!" I heard a familiar and very angry voice say from behind me.

"Hi dad," I said shamefaced.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked angrily, and I understood his anger.

I was supposed to be with my friends having a good innocent night out, and there I
was at a high school party with underage drinking, and from the smell of it, illegal
substance abuse going on as well. It was sophomore year all over again, and he had
every right to be pissed.

"I just came here to find Edward," I said pathetically. It was the truth, but it

sounded really stupid.

"Get home now!" he shouted at me.

- 332 -

"I need backup in here!" the other officer yelled at Charlie.

"Now, Bella!" he insisted before going inside.

I needed to find Edward, but after everything I had put Charlie through in the

past, I needed to do as he told me and get home. He had been supporting my family
one hundred percent, so I had no choice.

I went home and cried out my frustrations. In one night everything came crashing

down; not only was Edward involved in something and lying about it, but now my
dad was disappointed in me as well - I was a troubled teen before the island, and I
hated that Charlie was thinking that I was falling down the same path.

Not knowing what else to do, I just laid on the couch and waited for someone to

come home. And when the key jiggled in the lock, I prayed it was Edward, but
somehow I knew it wasn't.

"Dad, I'm really sorry. That wasn't what it looked like, I swear," I said

apologetically the moment he walked into view.

"Where's Em?" he asked evenly.

"With mom at her hotel," I told him.

He nodded, and then sat down on the couch. "Well, I had to arrest Edward."

"WHAT!" I spat.

"He and Newton were fighting at that party. Not just throwing punches, there

was…blood everywhere. It looked like a cage fight."

"Oh my god," I said to myself. What the hell was going on? "I have to go see him,"

I said before getting up to grab my keys.

"Not tonight Bella," he said strongly. "I called Esme and she came and picked him

up. He's in a lot of trouble. Newton is pressing charges."

"How could he press charges when they were both fighting?"

"Apparently, Edward started it. All the witness there said he just jumped him from

behind."

- 333 -

"What? Dad, come on, you know Edward. Why would he do that? None of this

makes sense."

"I tried to ask him what the hell happened, but he wouldn't talk. He wouldn't even

look me in the eye. Bella, what the hell is going on?"

"I wish I knew," I said honestly.

Charlie was upset, but after explaining everything that I did know, he huffed and

told me that he trusted me. It meant a lot.

I then tried calling Edward's cell, but he didn't answer, so once again, I drove over

to Esme's and kept my hand pressed on the doorbell until she finally answered.

"He's not here," she said, looking like a complete mess.

"Charlie said you picked him up," I argued.

"I can't physically make him stay here," she said with a fresh round of angry tears.

"I'm not blaming you for all of this but….It's your bad decisions that led us here!"

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't know a lot of things, do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" But she didn't answer me; she just shook her

head and shut the door in my face.

I stood there for a few minutes completely dumbfounded. Why wouldn't anyone

tell me what was going on? But on my way back to Charlie's house, I saw someone
walking along the road. My high-beams illuminated him like an angel in the
darkness, and without knowing anything about the situation, I was suddenly sure
everything was going to be ok.

Whatever was going on, we'd fix it together.

I pulled over the car, and without even looking at me, Edward opened the door

and climbed in.

"Did my mom call you?" he asked without any other greeting.

"No," I said softly, but then I noticed his face. He was bruised and his bottom lip

- 334 -

was split, but his injuries weren't nearly bad enough to justify the amount of blood
on his shirt. "Now tell me what's going on?"

He wet his bottom lip with his tongue, but still wouldn't look at me. "It wasn't a

big deal and I didn't want to upset you," he mumbled. "But then it sort of….got out
of control."

"What?"

He took a deep breath. "It started out as just gossip. Jessica told a few people that

Newton had mentioned that you two…had sex on the boat."

"What?" I asked disgusted. "That's ridiculous! Why would you believe that when I

told you I was a virgin?"

"I didn't believe it," he argued. "But then they started saying you were too drunk

to remember…. Look, it was all just stupid gossip and I didn't listen to any of it,
but…"

"But what?"

"But then they started in with the questions about Em."

"What kind of questions?"

"About her paternity. About Me," he said, taking me aback. I remembered Jessica

mentioning something about that during my first day back at school, but I just
thought she was being an idiot and dismissed it. I thought that would be the end of
it, but the fact that Edward had listened to that crap really pissed me off.

"You were the one who said to ignore them, that it didn't matter what people said

about us," I told him.

"I can take a lot of shit, Bella, really I can, but when they started to bring Em into

it… I just…I can't sit back and let that go."

That was the issue all along? Seriously? It just pissed me off even more. "We both

know Em is yours, so what different does it make who says what?" I asked heatedly.

He stared at me for a minute.

"Wait, you do know she's yours, right? You know this is all stupid lies. I mean,

- 335 -

even if I had sex with someone else on that boat, which I didn't, I had like three or
four periods on the island before I got pregnant."

"I know she's mine, but…"

"But?" I asked incredulously.

"I hate this fucking shit," he mumbled to himself under his breath while looking up

at the ceiling. "You wanted to know why I was pissed at my mom, well, here it goes.
The head doctor at the hospital is a friend of hers, and after reevaluating Em's
record…he thinks she's older than a year. Her development is more like a year and a
half year old."

"How could that be?" I asked confused.

"We never kept track of time, Bella. Days, weeks, months, we couldn't tell the

difference."

"I had my period…three times at least."

"That's what I told my mom, but….the doctor also said that it's common during the

first trimester to have some bleeding like that….You did say that your periods were
much lighter than normal, right?"

"Ok, let me get this straight," I said while scrunching my brows. "First, I don't

remember having sex on the boat, and now I'm mistaking periods for early
pregnancy spotting?"

"I know it's stupid… but there's more." He took another deep breath. "My cousin

Rose graduated the same year Newton did, and apparently when the boat came back
without us, Newton was really freaked out. He told some people that you had just
had sex before it happened, and he was worried your body would wash up and
authorities would find his DNA all inside you and think he had something to do with
you falling overboard. Rose caught wind of it and mentioned something about that to
my mom, so that combined with the conflict in Em's age, she tried convincing me
that I should just get a paternity test to settle it…So I got pissed. I told her that I
didn't need a stupid paternity test, and I haven't spoken to her since…"

I felt my stomach drop.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this was happening?" I whispered, unable to speak

any louder.

- 336 -

"Because it was all bullshit and I didn't want you stressing about nothing, you had

enough to worry about. I thought I could handle it on my own, I thought it would die
down and eventually go away, but when Tanya told me last week that she had heard
about it, I knew it was getting way bigger than I thought. And then tonight she
stopped by and told me that she heard Mike saying he was actually going to formally
request a paternity test, and I lost it."

I was speechless. I knew the social gossip of a small town was bad, but I never

thought it could be that painfully destructive. Those people and their lies were like a
pack of wild hyenas –circling their prey and looking for weaknesses. How could
anyone be so cruel as to try to rip a family apart?

But the most troubling part of the whole thing is Mike's claims. Why would he

request a paternity test if he knew we never had sex? Why would he tell people that
we had unprotected sex right after the boat returned without us? Rose was a lot of
things, but she wouldn't lie about something like that, especially when she knew it
would hurt her cousin. Could it have happened the way Mike said? I thought about
what he said to me that day at the pool – "Just so we're on the same page, you fell off
the boat yourself, right?"

Oh god, no.

"Em looks just like you," I said in a rush, trying to grab onto anything that would

prove that it wasn't even slightly possible.

"I know," Edward said soothingly. "I'm not worried about the results of the test,

it's just….You don't know what it's like, you never had anyone question if she was
yours."

"I do know what that's like, they did that to me in Mexico," I told him.

His jaw locked, and then he looked down for a few moments before finally looking

back up at me.

"I just couldn't let Newton go through with the request….So I went to find him. I

don't know what I was planning to do once I got to him, but then I heard him
laughing at that party and I lost control of myself. Every swim practice he had that
same smug laugh whenever he made me do something, and I couldn't take it
anymore."

"So…all the times you said you were going out with the swim team?"

- 337 -

"I never went out with the swim team," he admitted. "I was trying to get to the

bottom of everything and fix it before it got out of hand…Emmett has been driving
me wherever I needed to go."

"So, you lied," I said absently. Him lying was nothing compared to everything else

that was going on, but for whatever reason, that was the only thing I could grasp at
the moment.

"I didn't want you to know about any of it," he said again. "I thought I could

protect you…It's my job to protect you."

"None of it would have mattered if you knew without a doubt that she was yours,"

I said quietly. "We would have just done what we have been doing – ignoring them
and refusing to allow anything to come between us. But instead, you chose to lie and
sneak around when we swore to each other we'd never lie. So be honest with me
now. Are you having doubts? Because we can go get the paternity test done right
away if you are."

"I don't want a paternity test because it doesn't matter either way. If it is all true,

it wouldn't change anything," he said slowly. "I delivered her, I was the first person
to hold her, and I took care of her for those horrible hours after she was born when I
wasn't sure you were going to wake up again… We raised her for a year on that
island together, and there is nothing in the world that would change how I feel
about her."

"If it doesn't matter to you either way, then let's just take the test to end the

public speculation."

"No," he snapped. "Let's just say that in the point zero one percent chance that

Em isn't… I'm not going to let anyone come in here and try to tell me that I don't
have a right to her. She's mine. You're both mine, and I refuse to share either of you
with anyone. I don't have a plan B, Bella. You and Em, you're my entire life.
Everything I do, every minute of the day, I'm thinking about ways to keep us
together, to plan for our future together. If I lost you…" he let his sentence trail off.

"You would never lose us," I assured him softly while reaching my arms around

him. "I don't know why any of this is happening, but I know in my heart that it's all
bullshit. Em is yours… in every sense of the word. But if you don't want to take the
test then I understand that too. I wish you would have told me what was going on,
but now it's my turn to handle it."

"What? Bella, what are you going to do?"

- 338 -

I bit my bottom lip. "I'm not sure yet, but I swear to you, I will fix it and find out

why Mike is lying."

- 339 -

Predators

Chapter 30 - Predators

"Bella, there is no way I'm going to leave you to handle this," Edward said

strongly.

"Well, you know what, you don't have a choice."

"Oh, I don't?" he challenged me.

"Nope. You didn't give me a choice by not telling me what was going on, so now

it's my turn. Besides, I'm a lot more skilled at handling gossip than you are."

I started the truck and began driving again.

"Where are we going?"

"Home," I told him.

"Is Em back there yet?"

"No, she's staying the night with Renee."

"Well, why don't you drop me off at Emmett's house then."

I slammed on my breaks and stared at him for a moment. "So you only want to

come home if Em is there?"

"At the moment, yes. Bella, Charlie just arrested me…"

"So now you're pissed at him? He was just doing his job."

"No, I'm not pissed at him at all….But I'm sure I'm the last person he wants to see

right now."

"Don't be a coward," I told him. I meant it to sound like a joke, but it came out a

little harsh.

"Ok, fine. But don't be mad at him if he kicks me out. I mean, I would if I were

- 340 -

him."

When we got to the house, Charlie stood and stared down Edward. "Are you ok,

son?"

"Yeah…Sorry about that," he replied.

"Well I reckon high school can't be easy after what you've been through."

"I'm not making excuses for my behavior, Sir. I screwed up, and I'll handle

whatever punishment I get."

"Mistakes happen, it's all part of growing up. Newton was saying he was going to

press charges, but I don't think you have to worry too much about it. He was at a
party with a bunch of underage kids doing illegal things. He's in a worse position
then you are, you can be sure about that," Charlie told him. "Now if everything is ok,
I'm going to head back to work."

"Thanks," Edward said sincerely.

"Be safe dad," I said as he left.

When we were alone, Edward and I went upstairs to our room and just sat on the

bed together, trying to get a grasp on all the day's events. It had all been too much.
Even though we discussed the major points in the truck, I still had more questions
for him; the problem was that my mind was just too jumbled to think clearly enough
to know what I needed to ask.

I looked at him, searching for the right words to begin, and he looked back,

waiting for me to say what I needed to say. But I felt like I was about to drown. The
gravity of the situation had pulled me to the bottom of the ocean, and I was stuck in
that haze of confusion that people get right before they lose consciousness from a
lack of air.

I was honestly dizzy.

He must have known how I was feeling, and he definitely knew how to fix it;

Edward always knew exactly what I needed, no matter what the issue was….

He placed his hand gently on my cheek, and then leaned in for a tender kiss. I felt

slightly better from the contact – it was like someone pushing air into retracted
lungs…but I needed more and I needed it desperately.

- 341 -

We took each other's clothes off like a well orchestrated dance, and after he

pushed into me, I tightened my thighs on his hips and then pulled him even further
into me, trying to get him as close and as deep as humanly possible. He rested his
forehead on mine, and we both stilled. We just held each other like that for an
immeasurable amount of time, and suddenly I could breathe again. It seemed we
were always just holding our breaths until we were connected again, and it was a
relief that couldn't properly be described.

"No more secrets, no more lies," I murmured after some time. "You're the only one

who's ever been inside of me," I assured him doubtlessly.

"I know. I'm so sorry, Bella," he replied softly.

"I'm sorry too… We can't let anything come between us again. I need you forever."

"Forever," he repeated.

He kissed me sweetly again, and then our passionate desperation took over. He

thrust into me roughly and tenderly at the same time, and I met his movements with
upwards thrusts of my own as I held onto him so tightly that my limbs were sure to
ach afterwards.

Each time we made love it was so much more than physical, but that time it was

almost a ballad. The emotions of life, all the good, all the bad, the highs and lows,
they all had a place in the way we moved together. And like any other beautiful
song, there was definitely a powerful crescendo leading to the ultimate climactic
ending.

How was it possible that I loved him even more than I did that morning? It seemed

that every obstacle we faced, we only became closer and that much more in love. It
was unyielding and irrevocable, and my confidence in us grew with every struggle.

We stayed tangled all night, and only broke apart when we heard Renee's car pull

up in the driveway. I was thankful that Renee had come to bring Em home though,
because our daughter was the only thing we'd be willing to pull ourselves apart for
at the moment, and I needed to be spending that day trying to come up with some
sort of plan to fix the mess we were in.

But of course, I couldn't spend the entire day plotting, my family needed my

attention as well, and I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Sunday then with
my little family at the beach.

- 342 -

Em was so happy at the ocean, and seeing her that happy made Edward and I

happy. Life was so much simpler when it was just the three of us, and I was missing
our island more than ever.

"Maybe we should move to some remote area…like a ranch on a hundred acres,

and then home-school Em," I suggested to Edward as we walked barefoot through
the waves with our arms wrapped around each other. Em was dancing ahead of us
excitedly, and collecting shells that she'd put in her bucket.

"We could do that," Edward said absently.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him concerned.

He shook his head. "I really hate people. I hate them so much and it kind of makes

me feel bad for Em."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want her to feel that way. I want her to grow up and have

friends…I want her to fall in love and have a family of her own."

I leaned my head onto his shoulder as we walked. "I want that too. It's just Forks.

The people have nothing better to do then mess with other people's lives... But I do
think there is a positive from all of this."

"What's that?" he asked, honesty baffled.

"Well, it's toughened us up and strengthened us as a family. I doubt there's much

more that will shock us anymore."

"Daddy, bird!" Em shouted excitedly, grabbing our complete attention again.

"Yeah, I see it, baby!" Edward said just as excitedly back.

"Fish!" she then said while pointing at the sand in front of her.

I narrowed my eyes to try to see what she was talking about, and sure enough,

there was a dead fish on the sand. Its head was missing and its stomach looked like
it had been eaten out, and surprisingly, the sight of it made me want to vomit.

"Eat it?" Em asked.

- 343 -

"No," Edward and I said at the same time.

"It's yucky, baby," I told her.

"Cook it," she said excitedly before running to grab the stick we had passed a bit

ago.

"Maybe we should go on a camping trip before the weather gets too bad," Edward

suggested. Your dad mentioned a lake he used to always take you to when you were
little…We could fish, build a fire…sleep under the stars."

"Or the rain clouds," I pointed out.

"Ok, maybe we'll bring a tent," he said with a laugh.

I smiled. "That would be nice. But I have to admit, that dead fish is kind of

grossing me out…. So maybe we can bring a cooler full of food."

"So your fish cleaning days are over, huh?" he said amused.

"It's funny how having options can make certain things less appealing…. Food

wise," I clarified, not wanting him to think I was talking about him.

"And having options can make you grateful for what you already have…. Romance

wise," he joked, but was serious.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too," he replied adoringly. It didn't really matter what was happening

in the world around us, we were on our own island completely safe from everyone
and everything. It may have been a metaphorical island, but it was still an oasis in
the middle of social hell.

"Hello my loves!" Renee said overly excitedly when she came to watch Em on

Monday. "So is everything back to being perfect in the Cullen/Swan world?" she
asked us.

"Our world has never been the issue….it's the world around us that sucks," I said

vaguely.

- 344 -

We kissed Em goodbye, and then headed to school.

"So, what's your plan?" Edward asked me as I drove.

"Still figuring it out," I said honestly. I had a few ideas, but nothing really set and I

knew I'd end up having to wing it. But I was still extremely confident that I would
succeed. The more time that I had to think about it, the more of that boat trip I
remembered. As strange as it sounded, being on the island made me forget a lot of
things….well, maybe it wasn't forgetting, it was more like….slipping my memory. I
had to actually try to dig in my mind and think about things in order to recall them,
and I was saddened to remember that I definitely got a little drunk on more than one
night on that boat – but drunk and wasted so badly that I blacked out were two
entirely different things.

I never had sex with Mike Newton. I was sure of it. I was already sure that

Edward was Em's father, but being sure that I never had sex with that disgusting
prick was a relief, and it also added to my anger. What the fuck was he up to? I
knew a lot of guys would lie about having sex with certain chicks, but why request a
paternity test? It just didn't make sense and I was going to make damn sure he
explained himself.

"Bella, just don't do anything…."

"Stupid?" I said with a smile.

"Yeah, don't do anything stupid," Edward replied before we kissed and walked

away to our separate classrooms.

"Don't worry, I'm done being stupid," I said to myself as I went.

My first idea was to question Jessica now that she was hopefully sober and away

from her party, but I couldn't find her. But as I was walking to my second class of
the day, I spotted him. The jackass was just walking into the boy's locker room, but I
couldn't risk losing my chance to confront him, so I followed him in.

I ducked into a toilet stall and waited until the locker room cleared out, and then I

slowly searched out my target. Apparently Mike was having some prep time, or as I
called it, janitor time as he was bringing used towels out of the showers to be
washed.

"Well, well, if it isn't my potential baby daddy," I said mockingly.

- 345 -

"Bella!" he squealed as if I scared him. "Wha...what are you doing in here?"

I almost laughed at how messed up his face was. Edward really did a number on

him, and I wanted to rub salt in his wounds by making fun of him, but that wasn't
important at the moment.

"I just saw you come in here and I wanted to talk to you about your paternity test

for my daughter."

"How did you know about that?" he asked nervously.

"Oh you know how high school is, good news spreads like wildfire."

"So…what do you want to talk about?" he asked while standing up straight to try

to create faux confidence.

"We never had sex," I said evenly. "So why the hell would you request a paternity

test?"

"Look Bella, it's not my fault you can't remember what we did when you were

drunk. You should be grateful that I'm willing to put my life on hold to step up and
do the responsible thing. Never mind the fact that anybody would be a better father
for your kid than that loose cannon freak Cullen."

"Oh, I get it, you're jealous," I said, suddenly having it all become clear. "You're so

jealous of all the attention Edward is getting that you just tried to think of the one
thing that would bring him down."

"I don't give a shit about him or his attention," he said straight faced.

"Then why are you lying?" I asked, getting frustrated.

"I just want to do the right thing," he said.

"The right thing?" I asked incredulously. "Edward is my daughter's father. She's a

year old, which means that there is no possible way you could be her father
regardless of whether we ever had sex or not."

"Yeah well, from what I hear, her age isn't exactly certain, now is it?" he said

smugly.

"WE NEVER HAD SEX!" I exploded, losing my patience. "I was never drunk

- 346 -

enough to not remember something like that."

"Think about it for a minute, if you can't remember it, then you wouldn't even be

able to remember that you don't remember it," he said slowly.

"What? That doesn't even make sense!" I said irately.

"Look, that's my story and I'm sticking to it," he said carelessly. "By the way, we're

going to have to schedule the test soon, I'm taking a trip at the end of the month and
I'd really like to get this all handled before then."

"Ugh!"

Obviously, I wasn't going to get anywhere with him, so I needed a new strategy. It

was right in the middle of class time and the halls and courtyard were virtually
empty, so I walked around aimlessly while I tried to come up with something. I had
needed Edward's protection on the island, but back in the land of the cold and
heartless, it was my job to protect him and I would not fail.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that school and the island

dangers weren't much different. Both were full of predators that tried to tear us
apart. Real snakes, people snakes, they were both equally poisonous….which
suddenly gave me an idea, but I'd need a little help.

After a quick stop to get the help I needed, I went back to the locker room.

"You know, I could have you suspended for coming in here," Mike threatened me

when I walked back up to him.

"I'm not leaving until I get the truth."

"Well…good luck with that," he said with a sleazy smile.

"Can you at least tell me where we had sex?" I asked a little more gently. "I mean,

was it on the deck, in the cabins? I think if you told me I might be able to
remember."

He looked at me suspiciously for a moment, and then smirked. "Yeah, I bet you do

wish you remembered. You know, I would love to give you a refresher."

"Really?" I asked while stepping closer to him with a seductive grin.

- 347 -

"Oh yeah…you are eighteen, right?"

"Of course." I took two more steps closer... The smell of his breath reminded me of

the worms I had lived on for awhile, but I forced myself to ignore it because
throwing up on him wouldn't be the best thing at the moment.

I reached my arms up to his disgusting shoulders, and then I grabbed a hold of

him like I was going in for a kiss….and kneed him in the balls.

"SHIT! You fucking whore, what was that for?" he asked angrily as he dropped to

the ground and writhed in pain. When I was satisfied that he was incapacitated
enough, I pulled out my accomplice from my bag.

"What…What are you doing?" he asked in his high pitched voice of genital pain.

I kneeled down so he could look at me. "I want you to meet a friend of mine. This

is Sam," I said while putting the snake on his chest.

"Holy Shit!"

"Oh, don't move!" I warned him. "Sam is a Boomslang Snake, very

poisonous…Trust me, I know." – Technically, 'Sam' was really a harmless science lab
pet which definitely was not a Boomslang, but Mike didn't need to know that.

"Get it off of me!" he cried out.

"Nope, not until you tell me the truth."

"You're fucking crazy!"

"Yeah, I am….but being on an island for two years can do that to you. Now start

talking. I think Sam here is getting hungry."

"Ok, we never had sex!" he screeched. "I was lying, alright; now get it off of me!"

"Why would you lie about that and then ask for a paternity test?" I asked calmly,

moving the snake so it would stay on his chest.

"What difference does it make? It would have come back negative and Cullen

could just go back to being the kid's dad, so no harm done, right?"

"Mmm, nope, not buying it," I said, moving the snake once again. "Why go to all

- 348 -

that trouble?"

"Because Cullen is a freak and I wanted to get into his head and screw with him.

There is no way someone like him should be doing so well with swimming, it's just
not fair," he said in a rush.

I cocked my head to the side and I could see my reflection in the sunglasses

hanging from his shirt. I looked bat shit crazy…It was awesome.

"It's funny, I would believe that, except for the fact that right after we

disappeared….long before Edward joined the swim team, you went around telling
people you were worried about my body washing up and finding your DNA on me…
Now, what was that about?"

"Just get the snake off of me."

"Nope." To put just a little more pressure on him, I moved the snake to his neck.

"You know, the largest artery in your body is right there in your neck…which is why
all those vampire movies show them biting there. I'm sure this snake would do the
same." - I really had no idea what I was talking about, but I was positive that in idiot
like Mike wouldn't be any wiser.

"OK!" he wailed. "I was worried about them finding your body because they would

figure out that I ruffied you right before you fell overboard. I was freaking out and
Jessica noticed and questioned me, so I lied and said it was DNA from sex that I was
worried about instead. I never meant for it to get so out of control but then everyone
said I should ask for a paternity test and when I said no they started to question my
story….Fuck, it's the truth, Ok. Now get this fucking thing off of me!"

"You ruffied me?" I asked in utter shock. I felt like I was going to be sick. Not only

was the bastard planning to rape me, but he was the reason why I fell overboard in
the first place.

"Look, I didn't know it was a ruffie until afterwards. My friend Eric said it would

just loosen you up a little. I wasn't going to force myself on you, I swear, I…."

I couldn't listen to anymore, so I kicked him hard in the gut.

"You Bastard!" I screamed, and then turned to leave before he got the satisfaction

of seeing me cry.

I had always thought getting motion sickness and passing out that day was

- 349 -

destiny…the path I needed to take to lead me to Edward and Em…but it wasn't. It
was just some disgusting guy's plan to have his way with me.

It didn't change the way I felt about my family, nothing ever could, but it seriously

punctured a hole in my chest.

"BELLA!" he called, but didn't attempt to stop me physically because the snake

was still on him. "It's my word against yours, and I will deny it until the day I die. DO
YOU HEAR ME?"

Keep walking, Bella – I thought to myself, but I stopped and turned back to him

despite myself.

"You have no proof to what I just told you," he added strongly. "It's your word

against mine. I can find multiple witnesses to back up the fact that you can't
remember shit from before. And it's completely understandable that you've been
overwhelmed and may not be thinking clearly now. If you get this snake off of me,
we can keep all this between us and no one has to know what a fucking nut job you
are."

I bit my bottom lip and considered what he was saying. He was probably right, no

one would believe me over him; he was a socially loved swim coach, and I was a
former fuckup who had been taking some time to get readjusted to society, but…

"The thing is Mike, I am thinking clearly. I'm thinking so clearly in fact that I just

recorded and sent this entire conversation to my father over my cell phone. I hope
your ass can take prison, you son of a bitch, I hear pretty faces like yours are really
popular amongst the inmates."

"Oh shit," he whined, and then he actually started crying like a little girl. "Can you

please just take this thing off of me?"

As much as I didn't want the snake to suffer in Mike's presence, there was no way

I was going to take it off of him. That snake was the only thing keeping him away
from me, and I was not going to risk removing it.

Without another word, I turned and walked out of the locker room feeling a mix

relief and horror. I wasn't lying about sending the conversation to Charlie, but I still
felt sick about the entire thing. There was nothing beautiful or innocent about the
way we ended up on the island. I was drugged with the intent of screwing me, and
Edward was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He chose to save me because
he was a good person, but because of Mike, his life was forever altered as well, and

- 350 -

it just wasn't fair.

But the worst part was the guilt I was feeling. Mike wanted to take advantage of

me like that because I had opened myself up to it. I had flaunted my body around
like a slut but refused to ever give it up to anyone, thus making sleazy guys like
Mike think that he had to drug me to get into my pants. And to top it all off, I had
actually wanted to have sex with him back then.

"Bella, calm down," Edward cooed after I pulled him out of his class and told him

everything that happened. I could tell he was pissed and it took every ounce of self
restraint to keep him there with me instead of running after Mike and beating him
down yet again, but I needed him more so he wasn't about to leave me.

"I can't calm down," I said through my tears. "It was all his doing. We weren't

meant to be on that island; and you…you were just an innocent bystander to all the
insane stupidity. How could you not be angry with me after all of this?"

"Angry with you?" he asked incredulously. "Baby, you did nothing wrong."

"Yes I did. I was on the boat deck when I shouldn't have been, and messing around

with the prick. If I had just stayed in my cabin that night, if I would have just
remained friends with Angela and stayed clear of Mike and Jessica and all those
other idiots, then none of it would have happened."

"So…should I be sending all of them 'Thank You' cards?" Edward asked

unexpectedly.

I looked up at him, unsure I heard him right.

"Look, I won't hesitate to kill that fucker if I ever cross paths with him again, but…

none of that makes what we had on the island any less special or meant to be.
However the hell we got there, we were there, and that was exactly where we
needed to be. We washed up on that island as people neither of us was proud of, and
when we left…we had Em, and we had each other. Nothing and no one can ever take
that away from us."

Of course he was right, but that was what was so great about our relationship.

When one of us would get down or start having stupid ridiculous thoughts, the other
would know just what to say to fix it.

"So, what now?" I asked with a sigh.

- 351 -

"Let's go home."

"But schools not done for the day yet," I said.

"It is for us… Let's take the rest of the week off and take Em on that camping

trip."

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Really. We don't need to be here, it's not like we're going to fall behind from

missing."

I giggled lightly. "We're already behind."

"Exactly; this has all been overwhelming. We should have taken it a little slower

from the beginning, but since we didn't, we need to take a break now."

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have rushed back into school so soon."

"Stop beating yourself up over everything. You were right to want to move

forward, and us taking a breather isn't a step back."

"What about your swimming?"

"One, I don't really care about swimming, and two, I'm the best they've ever had,

what are they going to do, kick me off because I missed a few days?"

I smiled, suddenly feeling worlds better. "Ok, let's do it."

But on our way to the parking lot, my stomach jumped a little to see two police

cars and Charlie stepping out of one.

"Bella, are you ok?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah… I'm just glad you heard all of that."

Charlie wrapped his arms around me gently. "Don't worry honey, Newton will

never bother you again."

"Thanks dad."

"You taking the rest of the day off?"

- 352 -

"I think we're taking the rest of the week off. We're going to go pick up Em and go

camping up at the lake."

He nodded. "Ok, that's a good idea. Make sure you take your phones and chargers

though." Then he looked at Edward. "Take care of them."

"Always," Edward replied with a polite smile.

"I know you will," Charlie said confidently before saying goodbye and heading

onto campus to make an arrest.

- 353 -

Family

Chapter 31- Family

"You know, if you'd just get your license already, I wouldn't have to do all the

driving all the time," I teased Edward as I drove us through the woods to get to our
camping location.

He responded by leaning back in his seat and putting his legs up on the

dashboard. "Why would I get my license when I have my suga-mama to drive me
everywhere?"

"Mama, sugar?" Em asked excitedly from the back seat.

"Yeah, I bet you've had way more than enough sugar to last a lifetime from

Grandma Renee, huh?" I said while looking at her in my rearview mirror.

"Em want sugar," she squealed happily. Since Renee had been watching her

fulltime, Em started referring to herself in the third person, which was both
adorable and slightly annoying at the same time. I tried telling my mom to say 'you'
and 'me' when talking to Em, but she didn't listen. Instead of saying something like
'Do you want me to get you a cookie?' my mother would say 'Does Em want grandma
to get her a cookie?' It was rather frustrating. And Renee also had a bad habit of
thinking everything was better with sugar, which was one more reason why we were
looking for a different option for Em's daily care.

"Doesn't Charlie own a real map?" Edward asked frustrated a little later while

trying to mess with the electronic navigation device we were using.

"You would think," I said with a laugh. Charlie was never one for the latest

gimmicks, but he was definitely more up to speed with such things than we were. It
was amazing how far technology had come in just the two years we were gone for.
They had similar electronics before we left, but not many people had them whereas
now you rarely saw a car without one.

Obviously the navi couldn't take us all the way to the lake since it wasn't on a

normal road, but the thing wouldn't even show us the nearest highway turnoff. After
four separate phone calls to Charlie for directions, we finally pulled up to the lake
just as the sky was beginning to change colors above us.

- 354 -

"I need to hurry and put up the tent before it gets dark," Edward said as he began

unloading the truck.

"Ok, I'll help in just a minute," I replied while unbuckling Em from her car seat.

"This!" Em questioned excitedly when I stood her down outside.

"We're camping," I told her.

"Caping," she repeated, and then she saw the lake. "Ocean!"

"It's a lake," I said with a giggle.

She began running around the campsite, which I decided was fine since there was

no one else around, so I went to help Edward.

"You know it's funny, building a house from sticks and twine is a lot easier than

this," he said with a mix of humor and frustration as he wrestled with the tent poles.

"You are such a man," I teased. "There are instructions."

"I hate instructions," he pouted. "Instructions are for people who don't know what

they're doing."

"You don't know what you're doing."

"I'll figure it out," he grumbled.

We had to remove the poles and switch them around three times before finally

getting it right, which meant Edward had to light the fire in the dark.

"Hey, you're using matches?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah well those guys who took us off the island weren't really patient enough to

let me grab my Swiss Army knife," he explained, still sour from the memory.

"Oh, that was your dad's too," I said sympathetically. I hadn't really thought about

his knife since being back, but I was really sad from the realization it was gone. That
thing had helped us so much, in fact, it was probably the reason we were able to
survive at all.

He shrugged. "The only two things I really care about did come off that island with

- 355 -

me, so I'm not going to waste any time being ungrateful."

I smiled at him. "You're right."

The three of us sat on a log and enjoyed the fire by roasting hotdogs, and yes, he

even told some cheesy scary stories. But after Em fell asleep on Edward's lap, we
decided to turn in as well.

The next morning, Edward was hoping for better luck then we had with the navi

and the tent, and he attempted to fish.

"Nothing is biting, huh?" I asked after an hour or so.

"It's not my fault," he said defensively. "I've never used a fishing pole before….You

know, I think it's just poles in general that I have issues with."

I laughed. "I guess we need to find pole-less tents and forget fishing altogether."

"No, I just need to find a stick and make a spear," he said with sudden

determination.

"And what are you going to sharpen it with?" I asked him.

"Hey, I may not have my Swiss Army knife, but I'm not completely inept," he said

while walking to the truck and pulling out Charlie's tackle-box. Inside the box was
several different knifes usually used to cut line and skin fish, and Edward picked the
one he thought would best work for whittling wood.

While Edward stubbornly worked on carving a stick that he found into a sharp

point, I got a carton of milk out of the cooler and fed Em some cereal.

"Daddy, fish?" Em asked me as we watched Edward take his new spear into the

water.

"Maybe," I said, not wanting to tell her that he was fishing just in case he didn't

catch anything. It wasn't that I didn't have faith in his fishing skills, but I had to
admit, I had a feeling he was going to come back empty handed….which after about
two hours of trying, he did.

"I'm a complete failure," he said sadly after finally giving up.

"No, baby, you're not a failure. If it was a matter of life and death I'm sure you

- 356 -

could figure it out, but this is supposed to be a fun, relaxing week and we have lots
of food, so don't worry about it," I said supportively while rubbing the back of his
neck as he leaned his head down on my chest.

And of course, like every other time we embraced, Em wanted to be a part of it so

she grabbed onto our legs and hugged them tightly.

"Daddy, sad?" Em asked concerned.

Edward then surprised both Em and me by grabbing her and tossing her into the

air before catching her and peppering her face with kisses. "How could I be sad
when I have my girls here?" he asked her before moving his kisses onto my face as
well.

Edward snapped out of his sullen attitude after that, and we just enjoyed a little

relaxing time together, exploring the area around the lake. But when I decided to
take advantage of the abnormally warm day mixed with our obscure location by
removing my shirt, Edward looked at me like he'd never seen me half naked before.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked with a giggle when he added

drooling to his gawking.

"Huh?" he asked as if he didn't understand the question or couldn't hear what I

was saying.

"Stop it," I said, suddenly becoming self-conscious.

"Stop what?" he asked clueless.

"Stop staring at me like that."

"I….can't," he said absently. He then raised his hand towards my breasts like a

brainless oaf moving against his will.

I just dropped my head to the side in annoyed amusement, and let him grope me

like a horny teenager having his first experience with boobs.

"This is kind of silly," I said after a minute when his hands went from light

touching to full on kneading and massaging. "You're acting like you've never seen
breasts before."

"It's been a long time," he said evenly.

- 357 -

"Yeah….like a few hours."

"When did I see them a few hours ago?" he asked, as if he honestly didn't

remember.

"Uh…in the tent….before Em woke up this morning," I said slowly.

He thought about it for a moment. "Oh, right…But that didn't count."

"Why not?"

"Because we were inside. This," he said while rubbing my breasts again. "This

is….something else."

"This is how I lived every day on the island since before Em was born," I reminded

him. "Now stop acting like a horny teenager and take off your shirt too."

"I am a horny teenager," he mumbled while complying with my request and

pulling his shirt over his head.

"Mommy no shirt, daddy no shirt, Em no shirt. Off," Em said excitedly while

pulling at the bottom of her pink Princess Rapunzel T-shirt.

"Ok, baby," I said while taking off her shirt and giving Edward a warning glare. He

needed to get a hold of himself and control his teenage hormones….at least until Em
went down for her nap. He understood my look, and of course he agreed and forced
himself to ignore my exposed chest.

For the next few hours we did our best to pretend like we were back on our island

again, and when Em fell asleep for her afternoon nap, Edward was rewarded for his
patience by getting to do whatever he wanted to me. He started with his lips and
tongue caressing my nipples, and ended with us making love in the lake. The water
was cold, but we hardly noticed and couldn't bring ourselves to care. Besides, we
kept each other plenty warm by all the heat we were making between us.

But as the weather in Washington often did, the sky closed in and the clouds

brought the cold back before releasing a gently steady rain upon us. So the three of
us put our shirts back on and spent the evening cuddled together in the tent, just
basking in the serenity of being together as a family.

That was the way life was supposed to be: calm, innocent, honest, and so full of

love that no one or nothing could come between us or would even try. But as a

- 358 -

couple more days passed of wonderful quality time, I was beginning to dread our
inevitable return to society.

"Can't we just stay here forever?" I asked Edward hopelessly. "Maybe get a little

cabin out here somewhere and just live away from everyone else. Our family can
come and visit."

"And bring us food and supplies," Edward said with a chuckle. "But what about

working?"

"We don't need to work. We'll just live off the land like we did on the island."

"I think my lack of success with fishing proves that's not the best idea."

"But if our lives depended on it…." I let my sentence trail off because I realized

how silly I was being. Our lives didn't depend on it, and choosing to move so far
away from any kind of medical care and even grocery stores wasn't the best idea.

"Let's just enjoy the time we have left, and make a point to take these little

camping vacations as often as we can," Edward suggested.

"Promise?"

"Of course," he said with a smile before kissing my forehead.

We had three days left of our 'vacation' camping trip, when suddenly our family

quality time was cut short.

"Oh no," I whined disappointedly as a jeep pulled up in the camp site across from

ours. It was a public camp ground, but it was such a remote location and off season
that I figured we'd have the luxury of solitude until we left. I guess I was wrong, but
I didn't realize how wrong I was until the people got out of the jeep.

"It's party time!" Emmett's loud voice boomed through the woods as he jumped

out of the car with Rose exiting the passenger side.

"What the fuck?" Edward said quietly to himself. "Please tell me you just have

some kind of urgent message and you're going to leave after you say it?" he asked
them.

"Nope, we're camping the weekend." Emmett said excitedly.

- 359 -

"And you just so happened to have picked the same location as us?" Edward asked

skeptically before turning to Rose. "And you hate camping."

And then a second car pulled up and Alice and Jasper stumbled out. "Don't be

mad," Alice said quickly. "I was worried when I didn't see you guys at school, so I
begged Charlie to tell me where you were."

"Ok, so why did you come?" Edward asked her. "I'm sure Charlie told you we were

fine."

"Dude, how could you guys go camping without even inviting us?" Emmett asked,

as if he was honestly offended.

"Because we wanted some family time," Edward replied shamelessly. "Without

other people."

"Oh….shit," Emmett said, sincerely surprised. "We didn't think about that."

"Yeah, we'll totally go," Jasper added.

"Cool," Edward replied casually. "See ya."

"No, wait," I said with a sigh. "You guys don't have to go." I had no idea why I

opened my big fat mouth, but I found myself feeling bad that they had driven all that
way to hang out with us and we were just sending them away. We had already spent
four days with just the three of us, and Edward did say we would be vacationing
regularly, so perhaps it was a good chance to get to know them a little better.

"Really?" Emmett asked hopefully.

"Really?" Edward repeated with a more disturbed tone.

"They came all this way," I told Edward.

"Well, they shouldn't have," he replied sourly.

"Hey Bella, I actually came because I really need to talk to you," Rose said

unexpectedly.

"I don't think there's anything Bella needs to hear from you," Edward said

defensively.

- 360 -

"It'll only take a few moments," Rose insisted.

"Then it could have waited until we returned home," he argued.

"Charlie wasn't sure how long you were planning to be gone for," Alice jumped in.

"He said a week, but you may decide to stay longer."

Edward rolled his eyes and was about to respond with another bitter comment,

but I stopped him. "Ok, Rose, if you have something to say to me, go ahead and say
it," I told her. I was done being left in the dark when there was something I should
know, and I refused to let it happen again.

"Can we speak in private?" she asked.

I glanced at Edward suggestively, so he huffed and walked over to where Em was

playing with rocks, and Alice, Jasper, and Emmett joined them; we vowed not to
keep anymore secrets so he knew I'd tell him whatever Rose had to say anyway.

I had no idea what Rose wanted to talk to me about, so I braced myself for more

bad news. It seemed whenever things were going good, something horrible always
came along to threaten our peace.

Thankfully, this time, Rose didn't have anything negative to say. "Bella, I believe I

owe you an apology. I'm really sorry for going to Esme with what I heard about
you…I should have just kept it to myself or came to you with my concerns."

"Yes, you should have," I said boldly.

"I'm not trying to making excuses, but I was just honestly worried about Edward.

We may not always get along, but he's like a younger brother to me and he's
so…naive when it comes to….well, everything. I just didn't want to see him get
hurt."

"Well, I do understand that, but what you and Esme don't seem to understand is

how much we've both changed since being on the island. Edward may not be as
experienced when it comes to the social aspects of high school and dating, but he's a
lot more capable then you guys give him credit for. He handled the situation the way
he thought was right, and even though I wish he would have done things differently,
how the hell is he supposed to know what to do if he isn't given the opportunity to
try."

"You're right, it's just that Edward is all we have left of my uncle, and it's hard for

- 361 -

us to just let him fail and get hurt."

"But Edward's not all you have left, Em is part of him too and you all basically

pushed us away," I argued.

"That wasn't what we were trying to do at all," Rose said quickly. "Esme adores

Em, and I know being away from her has been almost as difficult as it was for her to
lose Edward two years ago…She just wanted all three of you to be sure."

"To be sure of what?" I asked incredulously.

"Look, it wasn't even Esme. She's friends with Newton's mom, and when that

woman caught wind that he may be Em's father, she threw a fit. Esme knew they
were going to ask for a paternity test and she didn't want Edward to be sideswiped.
It would devastate Edward if he wasn't Em's father, and she was just trying to
protect him…give him time to accept the fact that someone was going to contest it."

"You know, the first thing she said about Em when she saw her in Mexico was how

much she looks like Edward, so why would she even question it?" I asked heatedly.

"She never really questioned it. She wanted Edward to get the test to protect him

and Em from the Newtons and all the speculations. Edward just didn't want to even
consider the test so he got upset and basically told her she wasn't welcome in Em's
life anymore. She's completely heartbroken."

"So heartbroken that she blamed me for Edward being arrested and slammed the

door in my face?" I said bitterly.

"Yeah, she told me about that too. You just have to understand how overwhelmed

she's been with everything. It's been…emotionally draining on our entire family."

"Yeah, on my family as well," I replied.

"I know it has, and I'm not excusing her behavior…or mine. I just wanted to come

talk to you and ask if you could ever forgive us. I know you know what it's like to live
with regrets."

Of course I had regrets, and of course I could forgive. I was still very angry with

all of them, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it just wasn't
worth holding grudges. Edward had forgiven me multiple times, and the things I had
done to him weren't any better than what Esme and Rose did to me. If Edward could
forgive my bullying and my past horrible actions, then I should be able to forgive

- 362 -

them as well. I had enough people in Forks to dislike, Edward's family didn't need to
be amongst them. Besides, Em was half them, and she deserved a chance to know
that side of her.

"Ok, I forgive you," I told her. "But, it's going to take Edward a lot more

convincing, and he needs to be ok with Em having a relationship with you guys
before she can have one."

"I know," Rose said with a friendly smile. "But thank you for listening. Regardless

of whether or not Edward can forgive us, I'm glad we were able to make some
peace. I can only imagine how rough this has all been on you."

"It has been rough, but…I think it's just made us stronger and we'll come out of it

all as better people," I replied.

Edward was still upset about his cousins' intrusions, but after they set up their

camps and we all gathered around the fire, it was actually almost…fun. I mean, don't
get me wrong, nothing beat our family time, but when Emmett began telling his
stories and cracking his jokes, I couldn't help but laugh and I suddenly felt strangely
comfortable with all of them. Emmett had helped Edward with the entire gossip crap
that happened, and though it was still something I wish he would have been honest
with me about, I was glad Edward had someone he could trust to help him. And
that's exactly what the four of them were, people we could trust. Everyone makes
mistakes, I know that better than anyone; Rose made hers and she apologized, so I
sincerely felt we could trust her moving forward as well. At the end of the day, they
all cared about Edward and would support anything and everything he did – so that
made them more then ok in my book.

"S'mores time!" Alice announced after dinner that evening.

"More?" Em asked clueless.

"You guys haven't been roasting marshmallows?" Alice asked me horrified, as if it

was a sin to go camping without them.

"We were trying to give Em a break from all the sugar my mom's been feeding

her," I explained.

"Oh come on, Em needs to have her first S'more on her first camping trip," Alice

insisted.

"Her entire first year has been a camping trip," Edward argued.

- 363 -

"That didn't count," Alice dismissed him. "Come on, it's the best part of camping."

"Ok," I said with a sigh. "I guess one couldn't hurt."

But, of course, after Em tried her first S'more, one wasn't enough.

"Em want more Mores," she asked.

So she had two and I began to understand why Renee always gave her so much

sugar – she was definitely hard to say no to.

When the melted chocolate and sticky marshmallows were cleaned off Em's face,

she ran around on a crazy sugar high making everyone laugh at her hysterics before
Edward finally got a hold of her and refused to put her down until she crashed in his
arms. We put her to bed in the tent, and then rejoined the group around the fire.

"So Bella, how about it?" Emmett asked me with a sinister grin.

"How about what?" I asked.

"An arm wrestling match."

"Between me and you?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, everyone here has battled me except you."

"Uh…"

"Emmett, she doesn't want to arm wrestle you," Edward said irritated.

"Well, maybe I do," I said.

"What's the point?" Edward asked me.

"Are you saying you think I can't possibly win?" I asked him with faux offense.

"Exactly," he replied audaciously.

"Well I think I have a chance…Nothing is impossible," I said with a grin. "Let's do

it, Emmett."

"Ok, but I've never lost," Emmett warned me. If he had never lost, then I didn't

- 364 -

really understand why he kept challenging people. Perhaps it was his strange way to
welcome me as one of them, and I wasn't about to back down from that.

"On three," Jasper said as our unofficial referee. "One, two…three!"

I used all my strength to try to move Emmett's massive arm, but he just smiled

and didn't even flex and I still couldn't make it budge. So then I got serious. I
grabbed onto our conjoined hands with my free hand, and stood to use my entire
body weight to push against him. Everyone laughed at my attempt, but Emmett was
obviously not expecting it and he let me move him half way over before finally
flexing his muscles and beating me regardless of my effort.

"Wow, I never took you for a cheater," Emmett said with a grin. "It didn't help you,

but I have to admit, I am a little impressed. Not many people would have the balls to
try to pull something like that with me."

"I don't have any balls at all," I replied. "Well, besides Edward's," I joked.

Emmett laughed. "See, I told you she owned your balls!" he razzed Edward.

"I never denied it," Edward responded casually. "The guys that deny being owned

by their woman are usually the most whipped. You're a perfect example of that."

Rose snickered at that one.

"I am not whipped," Emmett said defensively.

"Hey Emmett, will you paint my nails for me?" Rose asked him out of nowhere.

"No," he said automatically.

"Please? I'll do that thing you like afterwards," she said while batting her eyes at

him and leaning forward to squeeze her cleavage together.

"Ok," he said, suddenly eager to do whatever she asked.

"And you just proved Edward right," Jasper jumped in, making us all laugh

including Rose. I suppose that was her point.

We joked around a little while longer, and then all turned in for the night. When

the camping trip was finally over, I felt completely rejuvenated and clear headed
after all the muck the past few weeks had caused. We had our family time, and some

- 365 -

time to get to know Edward's extended family as well. I couldn't have asked for a
better week, and we left that campground ready to face the world again.

- 366 -

What Matters

Chapter 32 – What Matters

Going from our family time alone in the wilderness to back to high school was so

vastly extreme that it almost felt like traveling to an entirely different planet, and I
was already feeling homesick.

"When can we go back to the lake?" I asked Edward as he walked me to class.

He smiled. "Hopefully soon…but it's creeping closer to winter so we may have to

wait until the spring or go somewhere else entirely."

"I vote somewhere else," I said quickly. It really didn't matter where we were, as

long as we were together and away from Forks.

He chuckled. "Ok, we'll think about it and make some plans…. Hey, how about a

road trip down to California?"

I grinned widely like an idiot. "As long as you get your license first. I'm tired of

doing all the driving."

"I'll make an appointment at the DMV as soon as we get home this afternoon."

"Ok," I said overexcitedly.

The wonderful thoughts of going on another family trip were happily filling my

mind throughout my first couple classes, but when lunch break arrived, I realized
there were even more intrusive glares directed towards me than normal. What the
hell was going on?

"So is it true?" a sour voice sounded from behind me. I turned around and saw

Jessica's face distorted in bitterness as she glared at me with her arms crossed in
front of her.

"Is what true?" I asked, slightly annoyed by her tone.

"You made up a bunch of lies then had your dad arrest Mike, just because you

didn't want him doing the paternity test?"

- 367 -

"What? Who told you that?" I asked angrily.

"Mrs. Newton. I called his house when he didn't show up to school last week, and

she told me everything."

"Ok, first of all, Mike Newton is in jail because he admitted that he roofied me on

the Marine Biology trip, which was the reason why I fell overboard. My parents,
along with Edward's family, thought we were dead for two years because of that
bastard, and jail is exactly where he should be."

"He roofied you?" Jessica asked in shock. "He admitted it?"

"Yes, I recorded the entire thing."

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry," she said sincerely. "He told me you two just had sex and

that was why he was worried when you went missing. I can't believe he'd do
something like that…Oh my god, did he rape you?"

"No. Thankfully the drug took effect as I was trying to walk back to my cabin on

the boat, and I fell overboard. I'm just glad Edward was there to save me….hell, I
would have rather drowned then let that prick have his way with me."

"So…there's no way he could be your baby's father?"

"Nope."

"God, what a fucking prick!"

"You're telling me."

"Really Bella….I'm really truly sorry. I believed his story and I may have told a few

people."

"Yes, I know. But he's paying for it now, and that's what truly matters."

"No, he got out of jail on bail and plans to fight the charges."

"How can he do that?" I asked appalled.

"Sometimes recordings aren't admissible in court. If that's the case, then it's

basically his word against yours."

- 368 -

"What?" I asked incredulously. "How do you know so much about it anyway?"

"My dad's an attorney, remember?"

"Shit," I said to myself. I wanted justice for what happened, but even more than

that, I wanted Mike to be punished so that he could never do something like that
again to a different unsuspecting girl. The son of a bitch worked at a high school,
and I would bet that he was messing around with some of the students there. What
would happen if one of them denied him or played hard to get? Would he slip them
something and take what he wanted anyway?

I started off blaming myself for the incident, but at that moment I completely

changed my mind. It didn't matter how a girl dressed or acted, she still had a right
to choose who she was with and when. No one deserved to be taken advantage of in
that way.

"What are you going to do?" Jessica asked me.

"Fight him," I told her. "Even if he gets off, everyone is going to learn what he did

and hopefully that way people will know what he's capable of and stay away from
him."

"Well, let me know if you need any help," she offered. "I owe you big time for what

I did."

I couldn't think of a way for Jessica to help, but she took it upon herself to do what

she did best and spread the word about Mike. By the time I was able to tell Edward
about the possibility of Mike getting off, it seemed everyone in school knew what he
did and had already turned their angry glares into supportive ones.

"I'm proud of you, Bella," Edward said unexpectedly.

"Why?" I asked clueless, but smiled in embarrassment just the same.

"You have become such a strong person since all of this. The hits just keep

coming, but you refuse to back down from any of it. You've turned into a fighter, and
that's an amazing thing, especially considering how far you've come from that girl
who first washed up on that island."

I bit my lower lip. "I'm only strong because you made me that way. Without you,

I'd still be that girl."

- 369 -

He shook his head. "It has always been inside you. This is who you were always

meant to be."

I wove my fingers in with his. "You're right, it is," I said meaningfully. Edward

made me a better person, but perhaps I made him one too. Perhaps we made each
other who we were supposed to be, because it was our love for each other that made
us strong. It gave us something worth fighting for, and we would continue to fight as
long as there were battles to be won.

….

Later that week we were informed that for reasons I didn't understand, Jessica

was right and my recording could not be used in the case against Mike, so all that
was left was my claim; it was back to my word against his, but I refused to stop then.
We would have to go to court and I would be forced to testify, but I was definitely
willing to do it.

"The problem is that this was two years ago," my lawyer said as we were going

over the case. "There's just no evidence. He's claiming that you brought these
charges against him because you were upset that he was asking for a paternity test.
Without the recording, there's not a lot we can do here."

"Maybe you're just not skilled enough to figure something out," Edward told him

angrily.

"Well, you're welcome to try to find someone who is," the lawyer replied carelessly

before getting up to leave.

"Good, we will," Edward replied strongly.

"Edward," I chided him quietly. As disappointed in what the lawyer had to say as I

was, I didn't think it was his fault and I definitely was embarrassed by the way
Edward spoke to him.

"That guy has to be the worst lawyer in the area," Edward said defensively.

"Well good lawyers are expensive and I'm not willing to spend all of our savings on

this. I want to see Mike pay more than anyone, but I'd also like to have some money
to take care of our family after graduation as well."

"I know, but we can't just let him get away with this," Edward said with quiet

frustration.

- 370 -

"We're not; we just have to figure something out."

But the longer Mike went unpunished, the more we lost hope that he'd ever be.

And then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, we got a break.

"There's a new development and the trial is finally moving forward," Charlie

informed me.

"What… how?" I asked.

"Eric Yorkie has admitted to selling Mike the drugs, and claims he sold them to

him more than once."

"Seriously?" I asked reservedly, worried about getting too excited and then being

disappointed when it doesn't actually help the situation. "But won't it be his word
against Mike's?"

"Between your testimony and Eric's, they should have enough to convict him,"

Charlie told me. "Plus, there may be another girl coming forward to say he did the
same thing to her….Well, obviously not the same exact thing, she didn't lose two
years of her life from his actions."

I sighed. "I didn't lose two years of my life either dad. I know we have never really

gone into much detail about it before, but I want you to know… we were ok on the
island. I mean, once we settled into a routine and got used to everything…we had a
good life there."

He smiled halfheartedly. "Well, I'm glad it wasn't all bad for you. I'd hate to know

every day was a horrible struggle."

"We definitely had our trying times, but we would have been ok if we never left. I

mean, don't get me wrong, I would have missed you terribly, but…we would have
been happy there together."

"Well, I'm just happy you're all safe. That's what matters."

I nodded. "So, what made Eric come forward?" I asked curiously.

He shook his head in astonishment. "You'll never believe this, but Esme convinced

him somehow."

- 371 -

"What?" I asked flabbergasted.

"Well she's known Mike and Eric's families for a long time, and somehow got Eric

to admit to everything. I mean, we gave him a plea bargain for his testimony, but
he's still in trouble as well so whatever she did must have been a big deal to get him
to fess up."

"I have to go tell Edward," I said quietly. Edward had finished his homework early

that afternoon and took Em to the park so I could concentrate on the rest of mine,
but with news like that I decided to head out to tell him right away instead of
waiting for him to return.

Needless to say, Edward was just as shocked as I was.

"How the hell would she convince the moron to come forward?" Edward asked,

not really expecting an answer.

"I don't know…but I really think we should go over and talk to her. Regardless of

what she's done in the past, she's still your mom and this rift has gone on long
enough."

"I'm not going to just forget it all so quickly," Edward argued.

"I'm not asking you to forget it, but the biggest thing I've learned in the past two

years is that holding grudges isn't worth it and doesn't solve anything…. And I
learned that from you. If you can forgive me for the things I did, then surely we can
move past the things your mom has done."

"The difference is that I didn't have anything to protect when I forgave you before.

The things you did never threatened my family. It's nowhere near the same thing."

"Our family was never threatened at all. It didn't matter what anyone did or said,

you weren't going to let anything come between us, remember. You were doing
whatever you thought you had to do to fix it, but you never thought about ending
things with me or walking away from us. I sure as hell never had those thoughts
either, so if we aren't willing to let anything come between us….then nothing ever
will."

He thought about what I was saying for a bit, and then sighed. "You're right,

nothing can ever come between us, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to sit back and
let someone try."

- 372 -

"She made a mistake, and she obviously tried to fix it by helping us with this. Let's

just drop Em off with Charlie and then head over to see your mom. If things don't go
well, we'll leave and not give her another thought for a while."

"Why do you keep giving her chance after chance?" he asked a slight smirk.

"Because she's your mom," I said respectfully. "However misguided and

unjustified her actions have been, I believe deep down she did it all out of love for
you. I think being a mom myself has taught me that it's all just a guessing game. I
really don't know what I'm doing with Em, and I know it's just going to get harder
the older she gets. What if I do something wrong with her? What if we make a
mistake that she deems unforgivable? God knows my mom has made her share of
crappy decisions while I was growing up, but I haven't cut her out of my life…. Look,
she's your mom, so this is your decision and I'll respect whatever you decide….but I
just think you should realistically consider what it would be like to never speak to
her again."

"I've already done that. I said goodbye and made my peace while we were still on

the island…. But perhaps you're right. I guess I never thought about the possibility
of Em hating us one day." He took a deep breath. "I would hope she would forgive us
or at least give us a chance to apologize properly….Of course, I doubt we'd ever do
something like what my mom's done."

"No, we'll make some other kind of stupid mistake and not even realize what we're

doing until it's too late. Although, I can imagine your protective side coming out
when Em chooses a boyfriend that's not up to your standards of who you think is
worthy of her."

"No one will ever be worthy of her," he said quickly.

"Exactly." I said with a smile.

….

Walking up to the Cullen house hand in hand with Edward was strangely

cathartic. I wasn't walking up to Edward's house wondering what kind of mood he'd
be in or worried that Esme may concoct some kind of issue about me being there
and seeing her son, instead we were walking up to the house as a united force –
confident and assured that we'd be leaving in the same manner. Esme couldn't keep
us apart, nothing or no one ever could again, and I truly believed she finally
understood that otherwise I'd never encourage Edward to give her another chance.

- 373 -

Edward knocked on the door as any visitor would, and waited for his mother to

answer it.

She opened the door casually, and legitimately looked shocked and beyond

grateful to see us there.

"Edward, Bella….come in, please," she said in a state of surprise.

Our hands stayed linked as we stepped inside, and then we stood in the foyer as if

we were strangers waiting to be shown where to go. It wasn't Edward's home
anymore, maybe it never was – at least not the home of the man Edward had
become.

"Please, have a seat," Esme said courteously after ushering us into the formal

living room. Edward and I sat on the stuffy loveseat and awkwardly accepted the
refreshments that seemed to magically appear out of nowhere.

"How's Em?" Esme asked, trying to sound as casual as possible but failing

miserably. She was obviously eager to hear anything we'd be willing to tell her
about her granddaughter, but also didn't want to push and scare us away by asking
too much too soon.

"She's good; learning new words every day and constantly surprising us by how

much she knows," I told her. I had promised myself that I'd take a backseat in the
conversation and just support Edward, but he hesitated in answering the question so
I jumped in hoping to break the ice.

"She's at such a special age; her brain is like a sponge soaking up all the

information the world has to offer," Esme said with a kind smile.

"Makes me a little self-conscious," I admitted. "I'm always worried she's going to

pick up on something I do that I don't want her to."

She smiled again reassuringly. "You can only do your best and hope she takes the

better qualities from you and become all that she can be."

"Ok, let's drop the friendly pretenses and cut to the chase," Edward jumped in.

"How did you get Eric to come forward?" His guard was definitely up, and it was
making him slightly agitated.

"You heard about that?" Esme said quietly, but then she went in a different

direction by turning her attention back to me. "Before we get into anything else, I

- 374 -

need to say this - Bella, I know I've apologized for the way I've treated you in the
past….but I am truly, truly sorry. The last time I saw you I was…not in a good place
and I treated you poorly. My behavior was inexcusable and I'd understand if you
couldn't forgive me, but I hope that you can."

"Well, I do forgive you, but we're not here about me."

She nodded. "I know, you're here to ask about Eric." She looked past us

reflectively, as if she was trying to recall her memory of the event. "I've been friends
with Mrs. Newton and Mrs. Yorkie for a long time, and this is a small town so things
don't tend to stay secret very long. When I heard about what Mike did to you, I went
straight to his mother. She was immediately defensive and refused to speak any
more on the subject, but Mrs. Yorkie is very honorable and believes in tough love.
She admitted that Eric has had issues with drugs and had been caught selling
before, so we put two and two together and confronted Eric. After a little pressure,
Eric admitted it and agreed to take a plea bargain and testify against Mike."

"What kind of pressure?" I asked.

"The kind that involves scaring him shitless by hiring an amazing lawyer to lay out

all the potential charges against him if he doesn't cooperate."

"Why?" Edward asked unexpectedly. "Why go to all that trouble to help Bella?"

"Because it was the right thing to do," Esme said slowly.

But Edward shook his head. "No, you did it to try to get back in my favor. Do you

honestly think that one good thing can undo everything you've done to us in the
past? All the manipulating and scheming to break us apart…."

"I was never trying to break you apart. I know that doesn't sound believable

considering everything that happened, but honestly Edward, all I've ever wanted to
do was protect you."

"And yet, all you've ever done is suffocate me," he said, taking her aback. Edward

surprised me as well by not blowing up at her. He reined in his sour tone and spoke
clearly and self-assured. "I'm not my father. I'm not going to spend all my time doing
things I know are dangerous just for the thrill of it, but I'm not going to spend my
life afraid either. His priority was his next adrenaline rush, but mine is my family –
that's something I got from you. Dad was reckless, but even if he wasn't, you can't
anticipate every danger in the world, and you definitely can't protect me from my
own family. Bella is my family. Even if you don't trust her, you need to trust me and

- 375 -

the choices I've made. I'm not a child anymore. I've lived more than you could ever
imagine, and I've survived. We've survived together and we've grown together so
irrevocably that separating us would only destroy everything we've become. I can't
go back to the kid I used to be, and you trying to force me into it has only pushed me
further and further away."

She wiped a tear from her cheek and let out a heavy smile full of emotions. "I've

never heard you speak that way before." She nodded to herself wistfully. "You really
have grown up, haven't you?"

It was as if she was sincerely astounded by Edward's demeanor and words, and I

suppose that made sense. He had been extremely defiant, bitter, and hostilely
defensive with his mother from the time he first saw her in Mexico, but in that
moment he spoke to her like the man I knew him to be. He was calm and confident
and demanded respect, which Esme had no choice but to give.

"Bella and I are a packaged deal, so if you can't accept that…"

"I can accept that, and I have. Bella is an amazing young woman and I'm very

honored to have her as a daughter in law. It was just my natural pessimistic side
coming out. I assumed whatever could go wrong would, and I treated her unfairly
because of it. As much as I wanted to know her as the person you were choosing to
spend your life with, I couldn't help but unjustifiably project my insecurities onto
her. For that I'll be forever sorry." She locked eyes with me again and repeated her
apology once more. "I'm so sorry."

I nodded my acceptance because I had already told her verbally, and I had a

feeling she was going to continue to apologize to me until she was certain Edward
and I were both fully past it.

Edward reiterated the fact that we wouldn't tolerate any type of negative behavior

from her again, and then we left the house with the plans to tentatively move
forward with our relationship with her. We would take things slowly and bring Em
over for a casual visit later on in the week. Life was too short to live with anger and
resentment, and we refused to allow it to be an issue in our lives anymore. Edward
and I were going to be fine no matter what ended up happening with Esme, and that
was what we chose to focus on.

- 376 -

Every Way Possible

Chapter 33 – Every Way Possible

Progress with the case against Mike was slow going, but while we waited for a

resolution, Edward and I got to celebrate Em's first Halloween…

"Why is she a vampire?" Esme asked me after Em made her grand unveiling to all

our family and friends at Charlie's house.

I shrugged. "We took her to the Halloween store and this is what she wanted.

Renee tried convincing her to be a princess, but she's a girl who knows what she
wants…and I think she may be a little tired of dresses."

Esme and I giggled as we watched Edward put in a pair of plastic vampire teeth

and pretended to bite Em's neck. She didn't even know what vampires were, she just
liked the costume, but that didn't stop Edward from playing the part. The two of
them were hilarious together, and watching them was still my favorite thing in the
world.

…..

When Thanksgiving arrived, we all went to the Cullen house for a huge family

dinner, and Esme actually completely surprised everyone by picking that event to
introduce her new boyfriend.

"Um, this is Carlisle," she said, slightly uncomfortable. Apparently Carlisle was the

hot shot lawyer she had hired to pressure Eric into testifying against Mike. He was
actually rather attractive and seemed like a very nice man, and I couldn't help but
think their budding romance had helped ease her attitude a bit. She hadn't been
with anyone since Edward's father, and having someone else in her life probably
helped her let go of Edward a little more and begin to focus on herself for the first
time.

For a moment, when they first met, I could see that protective look from Edward

as he sized up the new man in his mother's life. But all it took was me grabbing his
hand for him to relax and shrug away the irrational feeling; Edward was not going to
overreact and be possessive the way his mother was with him. For the rest of the
afternoon, Edward was friendly and welcoming of Carlisle, just as the rest of us
were.

- 377 -

We had a lot to be thankful for that year, so the holiday was even more meaningful

than ever before. As we all sat around the table together for a huge turkey dinner,
everyone got their individual turns to state what they were personally thankful for in
their own lives. Each one of them added our return to the family as part of their
speech.

"I'm thankful for Bella and Em," Edward stated during his turn. "And for the

health and happiness of everyone in this room. Readjusting to life back in Forks
these past few months has been trying at times, but I'm thankful to be given the
opportunity to do so. If we were never rescued, Em would never have had a chance
to get to know any of you, and never had the opportunity to find the level of love I've
been blessed to have with Bella…. Of course, in about thirteen years I may change
my mind about that and decide to move to another deserted location to avoid all
potential male suitors until Em is thirty."

Everyone laughed, but I just smirked and shook my head. I was the only one there

who knew how serious he actually was.

…..

Christmas was another big deal for our extended family. We spent the morning

being way more excited than Em by all her Santa gifts…. She liked the wrapping
paper bows and boxes more than the actual presents. When Edward's cousins came
over for Christmas brunch, Emmett and Jasper decided it was a good idea to play
with all of Em's new things, just to make sure they were "safe".

"Hey, these sorts of things get recalled all the time," Emmett said defensively.

"They always wait until some poor kid gets hurt before realizing how unsafe they
are, and I'll be damned if Em is one of those kids."

"O-kay," I said with a laugh as Rose rolled her eyes at him.

…..

New Year's Eve brought the realization that despite our age, Edward and I were

parents first and foremost and when it came down to it, we just couldn't stay awake
until midnight to celebrate. Em woke up at the crack of dawn every morning, and
our rest was more important to us than ringing in the New Year. So we made love
for the last time of that year and then held each other all night, just as we did every
night, and woke up the following year just as we always would for the rest of our
lives – wrapped up in each other's arms, together and unbreakable.

- 378 -

…..

Valentine's Day was sweet when Edward bought Em a giant heart balloon with a

pink teddy bear, and then took me out for a date in the city. He was at his romantic
best by making reservations and having a bunch of little loving surprises preplanned
along the way.

"I can't promise our lives will always be perfect, but I will always love you

perfectly," he told me over dinner.

God, I loved him. Not just for his romantic side, but for everything about him.

Every day was Valentine's Day for us, just as every day was Thanksgiving because
every day we were extremely thankful for each other and made a point to show our
love in a big way.

…..

By Easter Em had regrown her love for all things girly, and she picked out the

most frilly dress I had ever seen.

"We have to get the bonnet and tights with the lace butt," Renee had argued when

we were at the store. I scowled and then looked over to my mother's new shopping
buddy for help. Of course, Alice agreed with my mother and even added to the outfit
by insisting we get the lace gloves and white patent leather Mary Janes.

"No Easter outfit is complete without the perfect pair of shoes," Alice told me.

Em loved her dress. She danced around and kept grabbing the bottom hem and

pulling it up so she could look at it better. Of course, that move just made Edward
nervous.

"Baby, always keep your dress down," he told her. "You never want to show off

what you have under there."

"Have underwear?" Em asked excitedly while lifting up her dress again and

pulling down her tights to show Edward her 'underwear', which was technically a
diaper cover.

"No, baby, that's not what I said," he said while giving me that 'oh shit' look. Em

was all too willing to show her underwear to anyone, and it freaked Edward out.

"She's eighteen months old," I told Edward. "If she's still doing that at sixteen we

- 379 -

can be concerned."

When it was time to hunt for eggs, Em was the only kid there so basically the four

dozen eggs that were hidden throughout the yard were all waiting for her. Of
course, after she found the first one she was so excited that she didn't care about
finding anymore.

"Ok, go for it," I said to Emmett and Jasper while handing them empty baskets.

"Really?" Emmett asked excitedly.

"We certainly don't want a bunch of rotting eggs left in the yard," Charlie

grumbled.

"Whoever finds the most wins," Emmett said to Jasper.

"Wins what?" Jasper asked.

"Wins that giant chocolate bunny that Renee bought," Edward said while grabbing

a basket for himself.

"Hey, you're playing too? No fair, you probably saw where the bunny hid them

all," Emmett whined.

"I only 'saw' a couple of them before Charlie took over on the hiding – I mean

'observing'….and I really want that chocolate bunny."

"Fine, you're on," Emmett said determinedly.

"Man, I'm going to kick both of your asses, and I don't even like chocolate," Jasper

said smugly.

"If you don't like chocolate we can compete for something else," Edward offered.

"No way, I want that bunny," Emmett protested.

"It's fine. Alice loves chocolate so I'm going to win it for her."

"On three," I told them. "One…" The guys got into a ready position as if they were

about to begin a serious race. "Two…" Even the expressions on their faces were set
in hard determination. "Three…" And they were off – charging into the yard like
ravenous monsters hunting their prey.

- 380 -

"They are a bunch of morons," Rose said with a smile.

"Yeah, but we love them anyway," I replied.

"And I'll love Jasper even more when he wins me that bunny," Alice said with a

serious tone. "In fact, I'm going to help him." She ran out and began grabbing eggs
and slipping them into Jasper's basket.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Rose called before deciding to run out and help Emmett.

"Aw, isn't that cute, all the kids are hunting for eggs," Renee said with a giggle.

"They're teaming up. There's no way Edward can win that way."

"I guess you better go help him," Renee said to me with a nudge.

"I never liked hunting for eggs," I grumbled before huffing and joining the others

in the yard.

It was actually a lot of fun pretending to be a kid again, even if it was only for a

few minutes, but the boys got way more into it then the girls did. They actually
began wrestling around over the last remaining eggs. It was rather ridiculous.

"I have thirteen," Jasper said.

"I have seventeen!" Emmett cheered.

"I have seventeen as well," Edward informed them.

"Shit!" Emmett shouted.

"Dude, Em is right over there, watch the language idiot," Edward chided him.

"Sorry…. So how are we going to break the tie?" Emmett asked.

"Well….since we ended up playing as teams, I'd say we won," Edward said

arrogantly.

"What? How do you figure that?" Emmett asked him.

"Em, come here baby!" Edward called to our daughter who was still clutching onto

her one egg. "Technically the Cullen team has eighteen, so we win."

- 381 -

"Aw man," Emmett pouted.

"It's ok, don't cry about it," Edward said with a sigh. "Lucky for you I'm trying to

raise a child and teach her the right things, so I'm willing to share." He went into
the house and brought out the giant bunny, which he then divided up and gave
everyone a chunk. Even Charlie went off his 'Sue enforced diet' to have a piece.

All of our holiday celebrations were events that Edward and I never thought we'd

get to experience again when we were on the island, and in May we attended yet
another of those events which couldn't have happened if we weren't in Forks.

It was an event which had been so important to me before, one that I had dreamed

of since adolescence – prom.

I was actually surprised when Edward asked me to go. I wasn't that girl anymore

who obsessed about such things and I didn't even really want to go at all, but he
insisted saying it was an important part of high school and he didn't want me
missing it.

So we got all dressed up, and Edward seriously took my breath away when I saw

him in his tux. Our parents snapped a bunch of pictures and our moms cried as
Edward presented me with a corsage. It was everything I had always dreamed it
would be, and so much more. I never even knew that level of happiness existed
when I used to imagine prom.

"Let's dance," Edward said to me with his irresistible crooked smile.

"I thought you didn't dance," I said with a wide grin.

"I didn't…until recently."

"What happened recently?" I asked as he led me to the dance floor.

He made my breath catch as he twirled me around before bringing me in close. "I

may have asked my mom for a few lessons. But don't make a big deal about it
because I'm embarrassed enough as it is."

I giggled. "You shouldn't be embarrassed, that's so sweet. Oh…" I said while he

dipped me.

- 382 -

"Well, I'm only willing to suffer through dance lessons with my mom for your

sake."

"And I'm definitely appreciative," I said with another giggle.

The Royal Prom Court was announced, and I was more than stunned to learn that

I was amongst them as a Prom Princess. Jessica, of course, ended up winning Prom
Queen.

"Don't be mad, but I voted for Jessica," Edward admitted after the crowning.

I laughed. "How dare you."

He shrugged. "I'm not trying to be mean, but being Prom Queen will probably

always be the highlight of that girl's life."

I hugged him tightly and rested my head against his chest. "And you and Em are

mine."

He held me back and kissed my hair. "Exactly."

As happy as we were, the month of May also brought our first major low since

putting all our negativity behind us, which consisted of me having to testify against
Mike in court. It wouldn't have been so bad except his defense attorney was quite
harsh and manipulative, and left me questioning certain things. Carlisle assured me
that I did a good job, but I wasn't so confident.

…..

When June rolled around, I put the court case behind me and returned to being

blissfully happy; in fact, June turned out to be the best month yet.

On the sixth we were invited to walk in the graduation ceremony with our class.

Technically we wouldn't be getting our diplomas until we completed our necessary
credits, but the school officials thought we deserved to celebrate with the rest of our
friends as we would have if we were never stranded. We did it mostly for our
parents, who had also dreamed of that day since we were kids, and seeing their
proud faces as our names were called was beyond priceless.

Of course our family took full advantage of the occasion and threw another big

- 383 -

party, and it was at that party that we got the best graduation gift imaginable -
Carlisle informed us that Mike had been convicted and sentenced to five years of
jail, plus he'd have to register as a sex offender. I was happy about him going to jail,
but the registered sex offender thing was even better. He'd never be allowed to
work at a school again, and people would always know what he did.

And a couple weeks later, things got even better when Edward finally turned

eighteen….

"Happy birthday," I said softly as I woke him up bright and early with kisses all

over his face.

"Mmmm, it's definitely a happy day when it starts like this," he replied by running

his hand under my t-shirt to grope my bra-less breasts.

"For you and me both," I moaned full of pleasure from his touch. I'd never fully

admit it to him, but I loved the feeling of his hands on my boobs just as much as he
did. "And just think, now it's not against the law anymore," I teased.

"Hey, it was never against the law; seventeen is past the age of consent," he

argued playfully.

"I know, but it's still nice that you're officially an adult now…. I only wish I could

have gotten you more for your birthday," I said while handing him my gift.

"You didn't have to get me anything…well, anything other than this," he said while

rubbing his hand back up my chest.

I rolled my eyes. "Just open it."

I never got a job and I didn't have a savings the way he did from before, so I didn't

really have any money for a gift like I would have wanted to get him; instead I had
spent the last several weeks making secret trips to the beach to collect new shells. -
He had loved his island made chess board and unfortunately we couldn't bring it
with us, so I decided to make him a new one.

"Are you kidding me? How'd you get this?" he asked, thinking it was the same one

I made him before.

"It's a new one. I made the board from the leaves of the palm tree outside the

Forks Golf Course, and the shell pawns are from the local beach."

- 384 -

"This is awesome, thank you," he said sincerely.

"Hopefully next year I'll actually be able to buy you something."

"Well, what's mine is yours, and that includes money, so…."

"So…?" I asked, unsure why he paused.

"So I may have bought myself a gift from you."

"Huh?"

"Get dressed," he said with a grin before rolling out of bed.

When I was ready and finished getting Em ready as well, the three of us went

down the stairs and were surprised to see Esme and Carlisle there.

"Happy birthday," she said with a smile.

"Thanks mom," he replied before going over to hug her. She cradled his face in

her hands for a moment, and then took a deep breath before handing him a manila
envelope. "Thanks," he said before taking it from her. Strangely, he didn't look
inside; it was as if he already knew what it was. He grabbed my hand again, and
began leading me towards the front door.

"Wait, I have a gift for you too," Esme called after him.

"Oh... sorry," Edward said before pulling me back towards her. She smiled and

then handed him a small silver key with a bow on it.

"Mom," Edward chided her, already knowing what the key meant as well.

"Oh, hush now - It's your eighteenth birthday and you just graduated high school,

besides its from Carlisle too."

He smiled at her. "Thanks," he said again before thanking Carlisle as well.

"Well, go look at it," she encouraged.

Edward towed me outside, and in the driveway was a shiny new Volvo with a giant

bow on the top.

- 385 -

"It has great safety ratings, perfect for your family," Esme explained from behind

us.

It was an absolutely beautiful car, and Edward was actually super excited about it.

He had his license for a few months but hated driving my truck so much that I still
usually did most of the driving; he had plans to buy a cheap car soon, but Esme's gift
was so much better.

After admiring the car for a bit, Edward asked Esme to babysit Em while he and I

went for a drive, but instead of going on a random test drive, he seemed to have a
destination in mind.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I told you, I bought myself a gift from you and we're going to get it."

"Well, what is it?"

"It's a surprise," he said with a smirk.

"How is it a gift from me if I don't even know what it is?"

"Just…go with it," he said stubbornly.

We drove to Port Angeles and pulled into the parking lot of that Italian restaurant

he took me to for my birthday.

I smiled. "I love this place, but this is your birthday, not mine."

"We are not going to the restaurant," he said before helping me out of the car and

leading me down a path away from the restaurant.

"Oh, I see…." I said with a grin, remembering our little love session on the

obscure beach there. But when we walked in a different direction than that area as
well, I seriously became confused.

"What's going on?"

But of course her didn't answer me; he just kept walking and pulling me along

with him. After another minute of walking, we arrived at a marina where a bunch of
big sailboats and yachts were tied to the docks.

- 386 -

"They're so beautiful," I said while looking at the boats. I always did love boats;

Charlie used to always walk me by docks like that one and we'd dream about
someday owning one. It was one of my favorite things to do with my dad as a kid.

"Let's go get a closer look," Edward said before opening the gate to the dock.

"It says private property," I told him.

"It's not locked," he said dismissively.

I was sort of paranoid about trespassing, but after walking a past a few boats I

calmed down and just enjoyed it.

"Hey look at that one!" I said while pointing to a particular boat. It wasn't a

sailboat or a ritzy yacht, but it was extremely charming and had a strangely
beautiful white bird painted on the back. "It's a swan – how funny."

"Do you like it?" Edward asked me.

But before I could respond, a man came out from the cabin of the boat, scaring me

shitless. I couldn't help but wonder what type of punishment we'd get for
trespassing.

"Hello, you must be the Cullens?" the man asked. "You look so much like your

father," he said suddenly, completely flabbergasting me.

"Uh, thanks" Edward said with a polite smile. He pulled out that manila envelope

from inside his jacket, and then opened it and handed the man a white piece of
paper.

"Perfect," the man said after examining it. He held out his hand, and Edward

shook it.

"Thank you," Edward said to him.

"I'm glad to do it. Edward Senior was a good friend of mine and I'm happy I was

able to help you with this. Let me know if there is anything else I could do for you."

Edward nodded and then the man gave me a smile before walking past us and

leaving.

"What just happened?" I asked baffled.

- 387 -

"That was an old friend of my dad's. My mom gave me his number a couple

months ago and we were able to come up with a deal."

"A deal?"

He raised his brows at me excitedly. "Surprise! What do you think?"

"I'm not sure what I'm thinking… So, you…bought this?" I asked, still unsure.

"Yeah, it's 'The Swan'," he said with a chuckle. "I had an artist come out a few

days ago and paint that on there," he pointed at the bird painting on the back. When
I didn't respond because I was still in utter shock, he got nervous. "If you don't like
it I'm sure I can get him to take it back. I know I should have talked to you about
this first, I just really wanted it to be a surprise."

I actually didn't know how to think or feel about the entire thing. On one hand, it

was amazing and absolutely incredible, but at the same time he knew I was worried
about spending too much money and not having enough for us to get a place of our
own. I could only imagine how much a boat like that cost.

"I got a really good deal on it," he said quickly, as if he could read my mind. "The

guy just wanted to get rid of it and he was doing me a favor because of my dad. Plus,
since today is my eighteenth birthday I just got my inheritance. We're good
financially for a while, trust me."

"But…."

"Let's just go look inside," he interrupted me.

I tentatively followed him in, not wanting to completely fall in love with it because

I still wasn't exactly sure about anything. Edward said he just inherited more money,
but enough for a boat and an apartment while we go to school? The entire thing
made me nervous. But once inside, I realized there was so much more to the boat
then it appeared.

It was a houseboat.

There was a full kitchen, bathroom, living room, and even two bedrooms. The

rooms were small, but more than enough for us. "Wait, you want us to live here?" I
asked.

He shrugged with a nod. "At least for a little while. You know, until we decide to

- 388 -

have more kids or find another reason to move. We can stay anchored to this
marina, or go to a different one depending on where we end up going to school and
working. We don't have to pay rent because the entire thing is paid off, we just have
a small docking fee which is nothing compared to the cost of apartments. Plus, we
were planning to go on that road trip but we've been too busy, so I thought it would
be cool if we spent the summer on an ocean trip. Look, there's even maps and
electronic navigation!" he said excitedly.

"So…." Suddenly a huge smile broke free and spread across my face. "This is real?

This is really going to be our home for while?"

He smiled back at me. "Only if you want this too. We're in no means stuck, we can

return it."

"I think I do want it….I think I want it very much," I said, having a hard time

containing my enthusiasm.

"Ok, let's take this baby for a spin," he said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just need to go untie it."

He disappeared out of the cabin and the boat swayed as he got off to untie it, then

it swayed again when he got back on. I went up the stairs to where the steering
wheel was, and wrapped my arms around him from behind as he drove us out of the
marina.

"We're not going far, right?" I asked, suddenly feeling some separation anxiety

from not having Em with us. If she was there and we got lost I would be ok, but
without her I was anxious.

"No, we're not going far," he assured me.

We stayed in sight of land and followed the shore line for a ways before he

stopped and dropped the anchor.

"This is so beautiful," I said as he surprised me yet again by bringing out food so

we could have a picnic on the boat dock.

"I thought you'd like it."

- 389 -

"Yeah, but this is your birthday," I said again. "And I still don't see how this could

possibly be 'from me'."

"Oh, well this isn't," he said casually.

I looked at him curiously realizing he had something else up his sleeve.

He dug into his pocket, and unexpectedly pulled out a small black velvet box. "The

gift you're going to give me is….saying you'll marry me."

My breath caught, and then tears flooded my eyes. I knew we'd get legally

married eventually, but having him propose in that way, on that day, was just so
perfect that I couldn't contain myself.

"I'm already the happiest man in the world, but the only thing that would make me

even happier is if we make it official." He pulled me up to a standing position, and
then he kneeled down in front of me. "Isabella Swan, will you marry me?"

I nodded due to my momentary loss of words, and then I found my voice again and

said – "Yes, yes of course I'll marry you."

He placed the gorgeous sparkling diamond ring on my left hand finger behind the

twine pearl ring he had made for me on the island. I had sworn to him and to myself
that I'd never move that ring from that finger, so I was so happy that the two fit so
perfectly together. It was even more special because it symbolized our past and our
future, and I knew I'd wear both of them like that for the rest of my life.

…..

Edward and I considered getting married at the courthouse because we didn't

care about a big wedding, we just wanted to be husband and wife, but Renee laid on
a dramatic guilt trip…

"But we all want to celebrate with you. We thought you guys were dead….dead

….and I lost the hope of ever seeing my baby walk down the aisle. And think about
Charlie. This is his only chance to give the bride away. Every father of a girl should
get that chance."

Renee wasn't the only one upset by the idea; Alice pouted, and although Esme

wouldn't say anything, I could tell she was disappointed as well. So, we decided for
them, that we'd have an actual wedding. I left Renee, Esme, Rose and Alice in
charge of making all the arrangements, and we set the date for the end of summer

- 390 -

after we returned from our family trip on the ocean.

"Now, you are coming back, right?" Charlie asked anxiously as we were saying

goodbye.

"Yes dad, we're coming back."

"It's just…the last time I watched you get on a boat you didn't come back for two

years."

"We'll be fine," I promised.

We all said our goodbyes, and then we were off. Edward had mapped out our

route and had alerted all the right people of our plans so they'd know where to look
if something went wrong.

Getting used to being in the confined space of the boat cabin was so easy that I

wondered how Edward would ever convince me to move away from it. It was about
the same size as our little island cottage, so the three of us immediately felt at home
– although, it was nice having a kitchen and a refrigerator full of stuff. The boat was
completely stocked with everything we needed food-wise, as well as all of Em's
essentials like diapers and powdered milk. It was all perfect.

The first week we spent completely at sea; nothing but the open-ocean and quality

family time. And then we went in towards land and found a harbor to pull into so we
could sightsee a bit. We figured that despite not really being married yet, the trip
was basically our honeymoon, and I couldn't imagine a more perfect way to spend it.

"Seeing Mexico this way is so different," I mused as we browsed the street

venders.

"You mean, seeing Mexico on vacation is better than being locked up inside the

consulate?" Edward joked.

"Yeah, just a little."

We bought some souvenirs, had a delicious authentic Mexican meal, and then

went back to our boat home.

"Where are we going next?" I asked excitedly as we headed back out to sea.

"Oh, we're so close, so I figured we'd do a drive by."

- 391 -

"Seriously?" I shouted, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "How do you

know where to go, I thought it wasn't on any commercial maps?"

"I may have connected to a few people here with inside knowledge."

"What, who?"

"Let's just say Irina from the consulate felt really bad about the way we were

treated there."

I was so excited that I was actually giddy; I could hardly sit still as we made the

trip out to our island. When we finally got there and we could see the land that we
had called home for so long, I lost it and began crying. I wanted to go onto shore so
badly, I wanted to go inside our cottage and take pictures so we'd never forget - not
that we ever could - but I knew it wasn't possible.

"I wish we brought some binoculars, I can't see the cottage….Do you think the

Kachiri Natives took it down?" I asked worriedly. It would have been heartbreaking
to know our first home together was no longer there.

"Why don't we get in the dingy and go ashore to see," Edward said unexpectedly.

"You know we're not allowed to, we could get arrested again," I said, though I was

tempted to risk it. "We have to be responsible for Em."

"Oh, come on," he urged me. "The Kachiri only come once every ten years, right?

There's no one around."

I huffed. As much as I wanted to, as much as I ached to, we couldn't risk it.

"Alright, you've totally ruined the surprise," Edward said with a laugh.

"What surprise?"

He grabbed a piece of paper that was taped under the counter, which was more

than a little odd. I guess he really didn't want me to find it…

"We have permission to go on land," he said, knocking the air right out of my

lungs.

"What, how?"

- 392 -

He showed me the paper which granted us permission. It basically said that since

Em was conceived and born on the sacred land, the Kachiri had made her an
honorary and revered member of the tribe, thus allowing her along with us, her
parents, on the land whenever we wanted.

"This is… I have no words for what this is. I can't believe you got them to do this."

"I didn't get them to do anything. The letter was sent to my mom's house and she

gave it to me. This is how I first got the idea to buy the boat."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise." - Edward and his crazy astonishing surprises. "Good

surprise?" he asked.

"The best."

We anchored the boat once more, and then got in our little motor powered dingy

so we could get to land. The moment we got on the beach, I had to fight the urge to
fall to my knees and kiss the sand….hell, who was I kidding, the urge was too strong
to fight. I let myself fall, and then I rolled in the sand like a moron. Edward laughed
at me, but Em was just concerned.

"Momma fall down?"

"No baby, I'm playing. Come roll with me," I told her. Edward put her down and

they joined me in the sand.

Em didn't seem like she really remembered the island, which made me sad, but

then suddenly she pointed behind us and said "Daddy, home!" and she ran towards
the cottage which we didn't even realize was there. We had known the island like
our back yard, but the beaches did lookalike and we were just so grateful to be there
that we didn't notice we were on the exact right beach.

Edward and I followed Em to the cottage, and anxiously went inside. It was very

dirty and various insects had claimed the place as their own, but it was still
standing, just as strongly and proudly as ever. It had survived all the winter storms
that it faced without us, just as we survived the social storms without it. But no
matter where we went in life, that would always be our home.

Em patted her old island-made crib and asked Edward to put her inside. He did a

quick check for insects before lifting her over the rail.

- 393 -

"This!" Em shouted excitedly. "Em's bed!"

"Yeah baby, that's your bed," I said with tears streaming down my face.

And then I turned to Edward. "Can we stay here for a while? Like a few days at

least?"

He smiled and then nodded. "We need to do a sweep to make sure there's nothing

poisonous first."

"Ok," I said with a grin. We spent the next couple hours cleaning the cottage;

while Edward de-bugged it, I swept and then hung the old blankets I had woven
outside and beat them with a stick to try to get all the dust out. I suppose we could
have gone to our boat and got real blankets and pillows to sleep with, but we didn't
want to. For the time we were there, we just wanted it to be like it was before we
left…. Well everything except the woven diapers; I certainly didn't want Em to get
chaffed for nostalgia purposes.

"Look what I found," Edward said amazed as he held up the pieces of his father's

Swiss Army knife.

"We really are home," I replied.

It was a hot summer day on the island, but just when I was about to remove my

shirt the way I used to, Edward stopped me. "I wouldn't do that just yet," he said
strangely.

"Why?"

"We have visitors," he said while pointing out to the incoming rafts full of people.

For a moment I thought he had surprised me again and invited our family for

some odd reason, which would have really upset me - the island was our place, and I
didn't want to share it with the outside world. But as the rafts got closer, I realized
they were all strangers…. Strangers dressed in native coverings.

"The Kachiri," I said. "We are allowed to be here, right?" I asked nervously.

Edward chuckled. "Relax, I knew they were coming. They just want to welcome

us."

The tribal leaders came off the rafts first, and greeted us with a bow of respect

- 394 -

and then shook Edward's hand.

The man who had the largest headdress on said something in his native language

that we didn't understand, and then a different man stepped forward to translate.
"Welcome," he said.

"Thank you," Edward and I replied at the same time.

The presumed tribal leader continued, as did the translator. "We would like to

solidify you as members of our tribe with a naming ceremony. When you are given a
Kachiri name, you will be official."

Edward and I smiled and agreed graciously, and then we were given a gift that we

weren't expecting, one that was also necessary to become members…. A traditional
Kachiri wedding.

"Marriage is sacred for us, and to make the child complete, we believe her parents

should be married. As members of this tribe, that is what is expected of you."

Edward and I couldn't be happier. It wouldn't be a legal union with documents

making our marriage official, but it was so special and we were beyond grateful.

We were separated into different areas of the beach, and each surrounded by the

natives so we couldn't see one another. All the women were around me and helped
me dress into traditional wedding garb, and Edward was surrounded by the men
doing the same. Even Em was changed into one of their traditional children's dress.

When we were ready, everyone gathered on the sand and began chanting and

singing as Edward and I walked towards each other. He had the biggest smile that I
had ever seen on his face, and I must have had the same because I could actually
feel myself glowing.

The tribal leader preformed the ceremony in his language, but the translator

stayed quiet, allowing us to get lost in the moment. It didn't matter that we didn't
understand what was being said, all we cared about was the fact that we were
celebrating our love and finally getting married.

When everyone started cheering signaling the end of the ceremony, Edward and I

did what felt natural to us, and kissed.

I had considered Edward to be my husband since before we left the island, but

being married in the eyes of the tribe was an amazing feeling. Legal or not, I

- 395 -

suddenly had spiritual feeling overcome me and believed God now recognized our
union. I was never particularly religious, but there was no denying the divine,
otherworldly connection we were feeling in that moment.

"We're married!" I said to Edward emotionally.

"Yes, we are," he replied, just as emotional. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed

me more tenderly than ever before. "I love you so much, my little Graceful Bird."

During the wedding ceremony, we were given our tribal names. I couldn't

pronounce any of them, but we were told that mine meant 'Graceful Bird' which I
suppose was fitting since my last name was Swan. Edward's name meant 'Master of
the Reef', which was perfect for him, and Em's meant 'Little Star', which was also
meaningful because of her affinity for starfish.

It was a perfect magical day, and after a large traditional meal of fresh fish and

island fruit, the Kachiri left the island with a promise to not bother us again since it
was our 'honeymoon'.

For the next two weeks, we rediscovered our love for the island and found our old

rhythm again; all three of us spent our days topless, we built fires, hiked, and swam
together in the ocean and the lagoon. Edward fished every day, and I forgot my
short-lived aversion to cleaning the fish. It was complete heaven.

But as much as we wanted to stay there forever, Em deserved a chance at a

normal life….we all did, so we said goodbye.

"Is there anything you want to take with us?" Edward asked as we walked through

the cottage one last time.

I took a deep breath and then shook my head no. "Everything here belongs

here….and when we return next summer for a visit, it'll all be here waiting."

Edward smiled at me. "I love you."

"I love you too."

….

We spent another week at sea before finally arriving back at the marina in Port

Angeles, and as homesick that I already was for the island, a part of me was glad to
be back. We weren't the people we were before the island….but we weren't really

- 396 -

the people we were on the island anymore either. We were something else,
something we were still discovering, and we were more than eager to continue to
discover it.

Our family welcomed us back with open arms and open ears. They wanted to know

everything that happened while we were gone, and we wanted to tell them. That was
what you do when you're part of a family – you talk and fill each other in on
everything they missed when apart. They were beyond thrilled for us when we spoke
of our native nuptials, but they were also grateful that we still wanted to go forward
with the wedding they planned as well.

Edward and I were husband and wife, no one could tell us otherwise, but we still

needed to make it legal so we might as well do it with our family there for support.

And the wedding was beautiful. It was held in the yard at the Cullen house, and

everyone we had ever known was there. My dress was gorgeous. For never seeing it
before, it fit like a glove and was the perfect mix of little girl fantasy and womanly
elegance. I couldn't have picked out a more perfect dress for myself; Alice was truly
amazing in that department. Em was dressed up in a white flower girl dress with a
lavender sash, and Edward looked even more handsome in his classic tux then he
did at prom.

Everything about the day was perfect, and even though it wasn't as meaningful as

our first wedding on the island, it was special because of the fact that our family got
to share in our love and we were finally married in every way possible. Legally,
spiritually, emotionally, I belonged to Edward, and he belonged to me.

We had no idea what our next step in life would be or where the road…or ocean

would take us. The only thing that was sure, the only fact we could ever truly count
on, was that the future would not find us separated.

***A/N: I hope most of your questions have been answered and that I did

these characters justice with a complete journey. I will be posting an
Epilogue soon, which will take place a few years later to show how their lives
have progressed. Thank you so much for all the support with this story, I
doubt I'll ever have another with as many reviews and that's really special. 3

- 397 -

EPI

EPILOGUE

"Daddy, daddy, it's happening!" Her little eyes were glowing so brightly with

excitement that it wasn't even necessary to grab the flashlights in order to see.
"Hurry!" she shouted when Edward didn't get up fast enough.

"Ok, ok," he said with a light chuckle as he rolled out of our bed. He paused, only

to kiss me tenderly. "Are you coming?"

I smiled. "Wouldn't miss it."

I checked on Masen, still sleeping peacefully in his crib, and then followed them

out to the beach. The moon was bright that summer evening, and the ocean waves
rolled in and out in a calming steady cadence as if it was calling to the freshly
hatched sea turtles, lulling them towards it.

"Do you think they'll all make it?" she asked worriedly as the first one began its

monumental trek to the sea.

"Technically their chances are…"

I put my hand on Edward's shoulder to shut him up. "We can't be sure what

happens to them once they make it to the water, but we're going to make sure they
all make it past the beach," I assured her.

"This seriously goes against nature's law," Edward mumbled. "If the guys at work

knew what we were doing…"

"Oh hush," I chided him playfully. "What was it you told me before, these few extra

turtles aren't going to throw off the ocean's ecosystem."

"Yeah, I said that the first time we did this…but every time, every summer, is a

different story."

"This is her first time, give her a break."

"She saw it last year…. and the year before," he argued as we watched our

daughter dancing around turtles protectively.

- 398 -

"But this is the first time she actually understands it," I pointed out. "Remember

how excited Em was the first time she really got to participate in this?"

"Yeah," he said with a crooked smile. "She refused to go to bed until every last one

of them was in the water out of sight….but then she stopped caring."

"Oh, she still cares, she's just really tired from how busy we've been, and she

knows there will be more turtles later."

He shook his head in disagreement. "It's already happening. Just wait, a couple

more years and she's going to want to stop coming altogether; she's going beg us to
let her stay home in the summers so she can hang out with her friends and hate us if
we say no."

"We'll deal with that when the time comes," I said with a sigh. I was trying to think

of ways to convince him he was wrong, but Em was a social butterfly and I was
secretly worried that he was more than a little right. If Em didn't want to go to the
island anymore, it would be heartbreaking for both of us.

"Dad!" Anthony shouted from a few yards down the beach. Edward and I both ran

to our oldest son to see what was wrong. "A snake just chased a turtle into this
hallowed log. I have its tail so it can't go any further, but I'm not sure what type of
snake it is so I don't want to pull it out."

"Ok," Edward said before taking the snake from Anthony. "Back up," he instructed

us.

"Edward, be careful," I said concerned.

"What is it?" Little Carlie asked curiously. I grabbed her by her waist and pulled

her back so she wouldn't get in the way.

Slowly, Edward pulled the snake out of the log, and then smiled as he examined it.

"Oh, it's anEpicrates Cenchria Maurus; I didn't even know these were on the island."

"Really?" Anthony asked excitedly.

"Uh, English please?" I asked them.

"It's a Rainbow Boa, mom," Anthony told me enthusiastically. "Usually found in the

Colombian rain forest."

- 399 -

"Cool, is it poisonous?" I asked.

"Nope," Edward assured me.

"Can I hold it?" Carlie asked eagerly.

"Sure," Edward said before handing it to her. "It may still bite so hold it behind its

head."

Carlie's face lit up as she held the slithering creature in her hands. - Out of our

four kids, she was definitely the biggest animal lover.

"Ok, let it go now so it can go back to its home," Anthony insisted.

"I don't want it to eat the turtles," Carlie protested.

"Fine, give it to me," Anthony said with a huff before taking the snake inland into

the trees.

Carlie nearly cheered. "Now we can make sure the rest of the turtles are safe too."

Edward and I wrapped our arms around each other and watched our two middle

kids continue their mission to save the sea turtles, but I couldn't help but think of
Em. Time was racing forward and I wondered how many family summers on the
island we had left together.

Em had turned eleven that year, and even though I was in denial, I definitely

noticed the way her face dropped when we were first making preparations to come
to the island that summer. She never actually said she didn't want to come, but she
wasn't thrilled about it either.

Thankfully, our other children were still more than eager to spend as much time

on the island as possible.

Anthony was eight, and he was born almost nine months to the day after our

native wedding. The Kachiri were thrilled to hear of his birth because even though
he was born in an American hospital, they were certain he was conceived on the
island, which Edward and I had to agree with. I was on birth control at the time, but
the sacred island was known by the natives to have mystical powers that included
fertility; it was the only explanation that I could come up with for his existence.

Edward and I had planned to wait to have more kids until after college, but as

- 400 -

we've learned on our journey along the way, life doesn't always follow plans, and
somehow everything seemed to work out for the better. And having Anthony at that
time was definitely a blessing in disguise….

Eight and a half Years Prior – A month after the wedding.

"It doesn't make sense for you to go to the JC with me when you made it into the

UC," I argued. We had both completed our high school equivalency and received our
GED, but after taking the SATs, Edward had scored so high that he was basically
accepted wherever he applied and I didn't want him holding himself back just to go
to school with me.

"I can get all my basic courses done at the JC just as easily as I can at the UC," he

insisted. "I already told you, wherever you go…"

"Yeah, you'll go too, I remember, but this is different."

"No, it's not," he said stubbornly.

"Ok, how long are we going to stay together in that way? Are you going to go into

the same career as me so we can work together as well?" I pointed out. "You could
be anything, and you're just going to throw it away for no reason. We need to
support our family, and you're passing up on a chance to be able to get a well-paying
job just to stay with me all day every day. We're married now, we'll still be together
no matter what so it won't be any different than every other couple who goes to
separate jobs during the day. Everything will be fine."

He didn't have a proper argument for that, but he huffed anyway and refused to

budge. I wished we could spend all our time together just as much as he did, but it
wasn't about us, we needed to build our future for our family and he knew it… it just
may take a little more time for him to accept.

But a couple weeks later the morning sickness set in.

"Could be the flu," Edward said quickly. "We're not stuck on an island away from

civilization, so it could definitely be the flu."

I shook my head slowly. "I'm late."

"But you're on birth control."

I shrugged. "Didn't the Kachiri say something about how the island has fertility

- 401 -

powers or something?"

"Yeah, but that's just ancient mythology. It's no different than the Greeks

believing in Zeus and whatnot."

"Well, we don't have to sit and wonder about it, I can go buy a test and we'll know

one way or the other."

We bought the test and Edward was so anxious that we didn't even wait until the

next morning like the box recommended. It didn't even take three minutes for the
bright pink double lines to show up in the little window.

"Holy crap," Edward said to himself….and then he got excited. "We're going to

have another baby!"

But for once I was the more sensible one. "We were supposed to wait… Going to

college is going to be hard enough for me, and what about Em?"

"What about Em? She's going to be ecstatic to be a big sister."

"Yeah, but these next few years are going to be so busy, and now we're going to

have to divide our time with her even more."

"Bella," he said softly while holding me at arm's length so he could look me in the

eye. "We'll figure it out…We always do."

His conviction calmed my nerves, just like it always did, and then I took a deep

breath and allowed myself to be just as happy as he was. Of course I was thrilled to
have another baby, I wanted a bunch of kids, it was just the timing that I was
worried about. But of course he was right, we would figure it out, that I could be
sure of.

But as the days past, my mind stayed busy on the baby and I realized something –

"I don't think I want to go to school," I told Edward one evening.

He was definitely surprised, and frankly, so was I. I was the one who had pushed

us to go back to school in the first place, and it was still something I wanted to do,
but being pregnant forced me to think of a new path for me…well, for all of us.

"People are pregnant in college all the time," Edward told me. "It's not the same

thing as being pregnant in high school."

- 402 -

"No, I know, that's not it…I just…don't want to. Our moms aren't going to be close

enough to watch Em and the baby during the day anymore, and I don't want to leave
them with a sitter….I don't want to leave them at all."

He stared at me for a moment, as if he was trying to really understand what it was

I was saying, and then he nodded. "Ok…whatever you want to do."

But I didn't want to stop my education altogether, so after some more thought and

discussion, I decided it would be best to enroll in an online college, that way I could
still be home and get my credits at the same time. The arrangement also helped my
argument with Edward about him going to a UC; with me being home, he'd have no
reason not to go.

We moved our houseboat to a marina in Seattle and Edward enrolled in the

university, majoring in science with a special focus on bio chemistry and animal
sciences. Marine Biology as a career was hard to break into since there were few
jobs for such a degree, but with his background and intelligence there were already
organizations lining up to employ him after he graduated.

Edward took on a full load at school, hoping to get through it as quickly as

possible, and luckily we had enough money from his inheritance that neither of us
needed to work. His school was paid for by a college fund that Esme had set up
when he was a child, so basically all we had to worry about was our family and
getting through our courses.

Our son was born several months later, and we named him Edward Anthony

Cullen the Third, and called him by his middle name 'Anthony'. He was just as
beautiful as his big sister, but I had to admit, I missed the tranquil solitude of the
island during his birth. Sure, there were doctors and pain meds, but I couldn't help
but think that Em had less of a traumatic entrance into the world – of course,
Edward disagreed; his stress over the event was nothing compared to what it was
when Em was born.

We settled into a comfortable routine as a family. Edward would go to school in

the mornings and I'd spend that time with Em and Anthony. We'd go to the park and
play dates, and I'd just watch them grow into little people. In the afternoons Edward
would come home and we'd all have quality family time together, and when the kids
went to bed, Edward would do homework while I caught up on my online courses.
And every night, when everything was finished for the day, Edward and I would
reconnect and make love before falling asleep in each other's arms.

It was a busy and hectic couple of years, but we knew it would be worth it in the

- 403 -

end….and it definitely was.

Edward graduated with honors in only three years, and I discovered a love of

writing. After taking a few creative writing courses, I wrote an autobiographical
novel about our time on the island. It began the week before we left on our class
trip, and ended with our wedding at home with our family. It was our story; the
good, bad, and even the ugly. It was as honest as I was capable of being, and every
word was sincere. 'Twilight on the Blue Lagoon' made the New York Time's best
seller list and there was even talks of a movie deal, which was absolutely amazing.
But the best part was the reaction our family had from the book. It was a way for
them to really see firsthand what we went through, and to truly understand the love
I have for my husband. And even more importantly, it was something my children
would always have – the story of how they came into existence.

Since that novel was a hit, I was also able to write fictional novels, each based on

romance and adventure, and each making the top seller's list. It was a perfect career
for me because it allowed me to stay home with the kids and take off with Edward
on his work travels whenever I wanted.

Eventually our little family outgrew our houseboat and we moved to a real house,

but we never sold the boat. It was old but reliable, and even though it was a tight fit
for our growing kids, it was a fun and crazy time when we did set sail on it. No
matter how busy we got, we always found a few weeks every summer to return to
our island home.

When Anthony was three years old and Em was six, we welcomed Carlie into our

family. She too was conceived while I was on birth control and was born nine
months after a summer trip to the island. And little Masen, our youngest, was born
three years after that…nine months after a summer trip to the island. - We just
laughed about it.

Each one of our kids were three years apart, and each conceived on our island

which only made the Kichiri that much more enamored with our family - I had to
agree with them, our family was amazing.

Present Day – On the island

After the success of the turtles the night before, Edward decided to spend that day

teaching the kids about the importance of the ocean's ecosystem. I just rolled my
eyes at him. Luckily, Anthony and Carlie were both fascinated with every aspect of
the island and what Edward did for a living, but Em and obviously our youngest, had
better things to do.

- 404 -

"Where are you off to?" I asked Em as she walked past me with a pad of paper in

her hands.

"I'm going to write my friends a letter," she said with that 'duh' expression.

"Ok, watch for…"

"I know what to watch for, mom," she said irritated.

"Ok, sorry," I said defensively, and just to annoy her even more, I added - "I love

you honey. I'll miss you until you get back."

"Whatever," she replied bitterly. Jeesh, and I thought the teen attitude thing

wouldn't start until she was thirteen.

While she was off doing whatever it was that she was doing, and Edward was

lecturing Carlie and Anthony, I took that time to bring Little Masen into the lagoon
to work on his swimming. He was just two years old and was already pretty good for
his age, but of course he still needed the practice. All of our kids learned to swim in
that lagoon, just as Edward did, which was remarkable and I wouldn't have wanted
it any other way.

About a half hour later, Edward brought the other kids to join us for a swim.

"How's he doing?" Edward asked as he waded in the shallows with us. The older

kids just cannon balled right in the deep part; even Carlie at five years old was a
great swimmer.

"He's doing great," I said with a smile. "Do you want to swim to daddy?" I asked

Masen.

"Daddy, catch me," he said excitedly.

"Ok, I'm right here," Edward replied just as excitedly.

Masen pushed off my lap and swam with his face in the water all the way to

Edward a couple yards away.

"Wow, good job," Edward said enthusiastically while bouncing him in his arms.

"Hey, where's Em?"

"She's off writing somewhere," I said dismissively, hoping Edward wouldn't freak

- 405 -

out too much about it.

"I hope she gets bit by a snake," Carlie interjected.

"Hey, don't say that about your sister," Edward chided her.

"Yeah, that's terrible," Anthony agreed. "I hope she just gets stung by a bee."

"Guys," I scolded. "That's enough."

"She's just so grumpy all the time," Carlie said defensively.

"Yeah, she's been mean since we got here," Anthony agreed.

"Em yells at me," Masen added.

Edward and I looked at each other and knew we needed to have a talk with her.

We thought we'd give her some time to work through her issues, but our past lack of
communication had taught us that talking it out was always best. So that night, after
the other kids went to bed in their cottage add-on rooms, we took Em to the rocks so
we could talk.

"So, what's going on? I asked her.

"Nothing," she said sourly.

"Obviously something," Edward said. "Do you not want to come here anymore?"

She sighed. "No, I like coming here, it's just…"

"What?" I asked because she had let her sentence trail off.

"Em, you can tell us anything," Edward assured her.

"Well, everyone at school makes fun of me and calls our family weird. They even

say I'm not American because I was born on an island."

I looked at Edward and I could tell he was upset; it was his childhood all over

again…except it seemed so different. Em was a beautiful girl who seemed to always
have friends around, so to hear she was having trouble with kids at school was more
than shocking.

- 406 -

"Who's saying things like that to you?" I asked, knowing her friends wouldn't be so

mean.

"A lot of people…but mainly this boy. Everyone always follows his lead and does

whatever he tells them to. He doesn't like me, so now everyone doesn't. When I go
back to school this fall, people are going to ask me what I did over summer, and I'm
just going to lie because I don't want him making fun of me even more."

I really didn't understand why any kid would make fun of another for going to an

island every summer. We didn't do anything odd, we didn't even do the topless thing
anymore, though I did live in my bikini when there; I just didn't get it, unless….

"Honey, I bet he just likes you," I said, surprising both her and her father.

"How do you figure that?" Edward asked me confused.

"A lot of times when kids are mean, it means they actually like that other kid and

are embarrassed or just don't know how else to act."

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"I think so. Just ignore him for a while and wait and see what happens. If he likes

you he'll start to be nicer and if he doesn't then he'll leave you alone."

"Ok," she said after a minute. "And I'm sorry for being grumpy. I really am happy

to be here; this place still feels like home and I think it always will."

She gave us both a hug before running back to the cottage to go to bed for the

night, but Edward and I hung back and decided to go for a little walk – far enough so
the kids wouldn't hear us talking, but close enough that we would know if they
needed anything.

"I don't think I agree with that whole 'if he's mean it's cause he likes her' thing,"

Edward said as we walked along the beach. "I've been bullied, and I highly doubt
any of those kids liked me."

"Eleven year olds are different than teenagers," I told him. "But, being bullied by

kids of the opposite sex doesn't change very much. They either bully because they
like someone, or they do it to go along with the crowd. Usually the instigator is the
one who has the secret crush."

"I had girls pick on me, and none of them liked me like that," Edward argued.

- 407 -

"Tanya definitely had a thing for you, even before we got back from the island, she

was just too much of a coward to admit it."

He wrapped his arms around me. "Well I'm glad she was a coward."

"Why, you would have fallen for her?"

"I was young and easily manipulated," he said with a smirk.

"We both were," I agreed. "It's just a good thing fate stepped in and forced us to

grow up."

"Growing up with you has truly been the best experience of my life," he said

sincerely.

"I love you so much."

He smiled that crooked smile that still took my breath away. "I love you too."

For the rest of the week Em was back to her happy carefree self that we loved so

much, and the six of us just savored the time in our own piece of heaven together.
We may have knocked Em's bad mood this trip, but we weren't stupid enough to
believe the kids would always want to visit the island with us so we weren't going to
take that time for granted.

…..

The years passed quickly, and before we knew it, our kids were grown and

beginning families and lives of their own so they couldn't always make our annual
summer trips to the island. As much as we missed our time with them, Edward and I
couldn't help but enjoy our solitude on the island once again. We were back to
skinny dipping and making love under the stars, which was something that we
missed when the kids were young. But every few years or so, our children would
bring their families to the island with them, which was odd for us in the beginning.
It almost felt wrong to have 'outsiders' there, but we quickly realized that our
children's spouses and their children were all extensions of us, therefore absolutely
belonged.

The Kichiri had told us the island contained the magic of fertility, but when

actually dissecting the word I realized that it also had other meanings - fruitfulness,
abundance, richness, fecundity, luxuriance, productiveness - The island wasn't just
sacred in reproduction, it was sacred in living life to the fullest.

- 408 -

I had no idea why the island had pulled Edward and me there so many years ago,

but it saved our lives and gave us everything we had, and I was forever grateful. It
was our home, the core of our lives, and it was where we would always return to….

THE END

- 409 -

Document Outline

Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
Summary
1. The Trip
2. Finding Water
3. Breaking the Ice
4. Hard Humor
5. Adapting
6. Falling Apart
7. Safe
8. Wants
9. Poison
10. Real Life
11. Saying Goodbye
12. Surprises
13. Building a Future
14. Moving Forward
15. Faces
16. Over the Water
17. Doubt
18. Reunions
19. Getting Settled
20. Appearances
21. Fish
22. When it Rains
23. Looking Down
24. love'
25. Following
26. Together
27. Trust
28. Whiplash
29. Lies
30. Predators
31. Family
32. What Matters
33. Every Way Possible
34. EPI

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