Copyright © 2007, BBL America Corporation
“Badboy Lifestyle” and “BBL America” are trademarks used by The BBL America
Corporation, all rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in
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By opening this fi le, you agree that you will be held liable for civil damages in-
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Part I: BADBOY PHILOSOPHY AND THE SEDUCER’S MINDSET
Being Confident and Not Needy.....................................................................35
Body Language and Non-Verbal Cues...........................................................42
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Troubleshooting – Common Mistakes..........................................................78
LIVING THE BADBOY LIFESTYLE - ADVANCED TOPICS
Relationship Management Frames...................................................................95
Become the King of Your College...................................................................99
Other BadBoy Lifestyle Resources
If you are looking to get truly good, come to a world
famous BadBoy Lifestyle Seduction Workshop and
see the best in the world in action. Get hands on, per-
sonalized instruction that will kick your game up to a
new level. You can fi nd our current schedule
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To purchase the accompanying Badboy Style 3 CD Set
For access to more FREE resources,
http://badboyseduction.blogspot.com/
to sign up for our Newsletter.
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Preface
“You’re a big guy. You talk too soft”
“You got the girl, but it took too long”
“You’re very, very good. You could be a lot better”
Yeah, whatever. I’m Savoy. I run The Mystery Method. I’m one of the top
guys in the world. I’d known Badboy for all of a day, and he’s giving me
advice?
Who the hell is this guy?
I’d met Badboy that day when we both happened to be in London and he was
running a workshop. Professional courtesy; he invited me to sit in. He runs
workshops; I run workshops. Let’s meet. I love that.
I sit in on a lot of workshops, and most of them, to be honest, are crap. I’m
always skeptical going in, and was even more so based on what I knew about
Badboy Lifestyle. They don’t use routines? They don’t use structure? How
could that possibly work? At that point, I’d already spent a year teaching
hundreds of men to become superstars with women through The Mystery
Method. If you gave me any situation, I could tell you where you were with
the girl, what you needed to say next, and what the next 3-5 steps were.
We’d discovered the secret, and it worked. Most everyone else doing work-
shops was teaching some version of this (without really understanding it,
which is why most of them were crap). Why were these guys going in the
opposite direction?
I got to the workshop. A not very tall, average looking man with a limp
introduced himself as Badboy. But he conveyed authority. So did Cortez,
Badboy’s partner and trainer of their instructors, a teacher with more than a
decade of experience in seduction. When they told me that guests have to
participate in the program as a student, I didn’t argue. And within minutes,
we were off and running, as the instructors were simulating different social
environments and having us practice, over and over, what to do and how to
act. I liked the idea of fi xing guys’ problems before going out, but I wasn’t
sure about what I was hearing. Apparently, I talked too softly. I didn’t take
up enough space. I didn’t use my hands properly. My body language was
reactive and terrible. I listened, but at the same time I thought “the last few
women I met didn’t seem to mind”. After all, results speak for themselves.
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Still, we were going to a nightclub so I was going to try it out. I noticed that
the other students appeared to have been transformed. Nine students, some
shy, some outgoing, some nervous, some confi dent, some good looking,
some hot, turn into men with presence. Talking to these students at noon
and then again at 8pm was like talking to two different groups of people.
And I felt it too. Even walking into the club, I instantly felt more powerful.
From my fi rst approach, women responded quicker and more intensely to
everything I had already been doing. I thought I was good before, but I’d
had an upgrade. I was a master, but also a student.
Turns out, I couldn’t be both. Other students saw my game and started
treating me more as an instructor than a student. Just because I liked what
Badboy and Cortez were doing didn’t mean I could teach it. Their instruc-
tors went through about 6 months of training before being turned loose. So
I went back to my hotel. Not alone, but Badboy still thought it could have
been done much easier and faster. He was right.
The next day two of the students told me they’d gone home with women that
night. Neither had ever done anything close to that before. By the end of
the workshop, I saw amazing results among students. Badboy Lifestyles is
about as different as you can get from The Mystery Method, except in one
way. It works.
Going “Direct” works. Inner game works. Body language is huge. Badboy’s
unique seminar exercises work. He is a master and an innovator. But it’s not
just him. Having spent a great deal of his life with attractive women, Cortez
has got a unique insight in what works with them along with the mindset of
a natural seducer. All the other instructors were every bit as powerful and
inspiring. I think anyone who goes through their absurdly long instructor
training process is someone who could take on the world, and teach a great
workshop.
I’ve been a fan of Badboy Lifestyle ever since. I read their newsletters, read
their articles, and read this book. It deserves to be part of every man’s li-
brary.
Savoy
Hollywood, CA, November 2006
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Introduction
Welcome future playboys. You probably purchased this book to learn to
meet and seduce beautiful women. That is of course what we will teach you
to do, but The Badboy Lifestyle Seducer’s Guide is more than just another
“pickup guide”. It’s not a series of tricks and lines to help you fool a woman
into sleeping with you. It’s what the title suggests… A guide to living the
seducer’s lifestyle.
We will teach you how to literally change your life, and yourself, in a way that
will make you irresistible to women. Follow the advice in this book and you
will transform yourself into a master seducer.
The techniques you will learn here are mostly focused on seduction, but you
can also use them to improve your day to day interactions with people. They
will improve your confi dence, your communication skills and the way you see
the world.
That’s the good news. But there are a lot of things you need to work on to
become really good. We need to change the way you walk, the way you talk,
the way you think. You have been doing some things wrong for your entire
life and we need to change them. It’s going to take some time. Probably
about 4 to 5 weeks. But it’s worth it. Trust me.
To be successful with women you need to have a number of areas of your life
under control, internal and external:
First, you must change the way you think. Almost everything society teaches
us about meeting women is wrong. You need to understand how women re-
ally think, what really works and how to use that to achieve your goals. You
also need to change how you view yourself. Many of us have limiting beliefs
about who we are and what we are capable of. These limits are fl exible; de-
termined mostly by where you perceive these limits to be.
Next, you must have the right technique. You will learn how to approach a
woman fearlessly. How to use body language to increase your confi dence
and to convey power. You will also learn how to steer a conversation while
being spontaneous and unpredictable to build attraction and emotional com-
fort.
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Finally, we need to change the way you live your life. You must create a life-
style that a woman wants to be a part of. You must learn to manage your
women after you have seduced them and become the Master Player that you
have always wanted to be.
A friend of mine once said, “Pick-Up doesn’t start when you approach the
girl… It starts when you WAKE UP in morning!” That’s 100% true and that’s
how we will teach you to live in this book.
There’s a lot to cover so let’s get started.
BadBoy
PART I
BadBoy Philosophy and
the Seducer’s Mindset
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Think For Yourself
T
he fi rst thing you must learn to do is to think for yourself. Most of what
society has taught you about how to meet and attract women is based on
fairy tale ideas of what society thinks is politically correct. Reality tells a dif-
ferent story. Women are wired to fi nd certain qualities attractive and screen
for things that no one ever talks about.
Here are three of the most common bullshit ideas we are taught:
Girls Like “Nice” Guys
– Wrong. Girls HATE nice guys. A “nice guy” represents every average,
boring, predictable, monotonous, insecure, not fun, serious, without balls
guy she’s ever had the forgettable experience of meeting. This is not to
say you have to be an asshole to get girls but did you ever ask yourself,
why are many beautiful women are attracted to the jerk or the badboy?
Because he elicits powerful EMOTIONS from her and acts like HE is the
PRIZE. Two things the “nice guy” never does.
It’s sad, but true, that sometimes the more you disrespect them, the
more they like you. So don’t be afraid to be more selfi sh and genuinely
ask yourself what a particular girl can bring to your life to make you
happy besides tits and ass. When you operate from this mindset, you
will get results. This is the mindset of men who have plenty of women in
their lives and women instinctively pick up on it and fi nd it attractive.
Girls are also emotional creatures and they want to feel emotions. If the
jerk is going to give her love, hate, pain, pleasure, adrenaline, anticipa-
tion, excitement, all at the same time, she will be in a constant state of
excitement. He literally makes her high on emotions while making her
chase him to get more of these feelings. Which leads us to another com-
mon fallacy…
Women Are the Choosers
The “nice guy” supplicates himself and puts the girl on a pedestal in the
position of being the chooser. He puts her on a pedestal and says, “Look
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how nice I am to you. Choose me and I will treat you like a queen.” The
problem with that is that if you give yourself away easily, she won’t value
it.
The seducer, the badboy and the jerk succeed because they don’t kiss
ass. They go a step further by creating the frame that they are the one
who must be tamed and won over. They establish the rules early and
let it be known that they will not tolerate any bullshit. This makes her
intrigued by the challenge and subcommunicates that you have many
women you can choose from. Girls want to be with someone they per-
ceive as having more power than them. This is profoundly wired into
them for evolutionary reasons. Supplicating and kissing ass com-
municate the opposite of power.
What usually happens? A beautiful girl goes out. She wants to fi nd a
man who is worthy of her attention. A man that is a step above her.
Then when the guys approach they all try to kiss her ass and impress her
with money, drinks, cars, etc...
And just by qualifying themselves or trying to buy her they subcommu-
nicate that they are actually below her, that they need to do something
to reach her level, to be worthy… She is searching for somebody who
is above her, somebody who is dominant, so she brushes these guys
away.
Many hot girls already have a nice guy in their life who buys them things
and “knows how to treat a lady.” Usually this guy is not sleeping with
her and even if she decides to let him, she dumps him quickly because
he becomes boring and predictable. Eventually, she can spot this type of
guy right away at the bar and avoids him completely because she knows
the outcome. Boredom.
If you were a hot girl, would you choose the lame average guy who has
sex like a routine, brings monotony to the relationship, who you control
like a toy or would you choose an adventurous crazy guy who is unpre-
dictable, interesting, challenging and gives you crazy passionate sex?
Of course you would choose the second guy…just like most girls on this
planet. Being predictable is killer of attraction. Look at the romance
novels that many women read. On the cover is a mysterious, powerful,
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unpredictable stranger who sweeps the heroine off her feet. This is what
they fantasize about.
Our goal is to become this guy to the women we want to seduce.
Girls Don’t Want Sex
Take a look at how they dress when they go out…to show off their sex ap-
peal. Take a look at the magazines they read…full of sex advice. When
girls go out they subconsciously want to meet the right guy and fuck his
brains out. They will never admit this if you ask. In their conscious mind
they say they just want to “dance”.
Girls are VERY horny! They are just cautious about who they have sex
with, again for evolutionary reasons. Her sex drive is high, but so is the
risk of being stuck with the wrong guy’s baby. Therefore, women save
themselves for men who demonstrate that they have the alpha male
qualities to provide her with strong offspring and protect her once they
have mated.
These alpha qualities are what we communicate when we have all the
tools in place; powerful subcommunications, the right body language,
emotional connection, no supplication, a strong frame, an interesting
lifestyle -- when you have mastered all these things, the gates will open
and the girls are yours.
Remember
1) Don’t be the fucking nice guy. You can be charming and fun without being
a supplicating chump.
2) You are the chooser.
3) Girls are horny and want to have sex as much as you do. Don’t be afraid to
be sexual with them.
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What Women Really Want
So basically, society tells us that we should buy girls drinks and fl owers, be
polite, be “ourselves”, kiss ass and be an all around “nice guy”. But for some
reason when we follow this advice, we get terrible results. Why?
Because for millions of years women were searching for protection, power
and safety from their man. Over million of years, it became part of their
genes that they need a real man!
These are innate survival instincts. In primitive times, females were attract-
ed to strong guys with big muscles because back then a guy with big muscles
was able to protect his family from intruders and hunt for food. He also had
good genes, so if girl chose him to father her babies, her babies would have
a much better chances to survive. With time, this choosing of who she is
going to mate with became instinctual and wired into her unconscious selec-
tion process. Animals do the same thing. They don’t “think” about who will
provide the best offspring, they just feel something, some urge in their body
towards a particular mate…the same way a girl feels urges towards a certain
type of guy. We call that feeling ATTRACTION.
Hundreds of thousands of years ago, if a girl had the option to mate with a
strong, dominant, masculine guy or a weak guy with little power, of course
she would choose the masculine guy. Quick jump to our reality -- today,
girls still have attraction towards dominant males because it has become
wired into them through evolution. Things are a little different though… To-
day it isn’t just the most muscular guy who has the best chance for survival,
though women still fi nd this attractive. It is also the guy with the most social
power and confi dence who dominates in our world. The guy who is high sta-
tus, confi dent and able to get what he wants from the world is the modern
alpha male. And women are programmed to be attracted to men who dis-
play these alpha qualities, because it’s built into the right Hemisphere of the
brain for their protection and the protection of their offspring.
Today things like being rich, socially connected or well-built create automatic
attraction. But still the feeling behind both things, muscles and money, is the
same: SAFETY and PROTECTION.
The good news is that you don’t need to actually have lots of money or huge
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muscles to covey that you are the alpha male. You just need to learn to
convey through behavior the traits that signal that you are this type of male.
She is wired on an instinctual level to pickup on these signals and her body
will subconsciously respond with feelings of attraction.
Learn to behave like an alpha male, a real alpha male and not just some
posturing chump, and you can tap into the innate attraction circuitry of a
woman’s brain and become irresistible to her.
Left Brain/Right Brain Thinking
The easiest way to understand male/female interactions is to look at how
we think.
The human brain has two hemispheres: the left hemisphere and the right
hemisphere. On the surface they look the same, but they are highly special-
ized regions that serve very different functions.
The left side mostly deals with speech, logic, math and reasoning. It’s the
logical side of the brain. The right side deals with abstract things like emo-
tions, creativity, dreaming and imagination. It’s the creative\emotional side
of our brain.
All the things that we consider instincts, the things we do without thinking,
are stored in our right brain. This is where our animalistic unconscious mat-
ing patterns are stored. But we are not animals. We are also the only spe-
cies on this planet with a highly developed logical brain. That’s the reason
why we are controlling this planet. For hundreds of thousands of years we
had this logical brain, but only in the last few thousand years have we started
to use this power. Other animals also have logical brains, but they are not
developed as highly as ours. They are living mostly by their animal instincts.
When I say animal instincts I mean survival instincts like searching for food,
mating, and staying alive.
The difference between us and monkeys is that we developed the left, logical
side far more than they did. Everything you see around you; your computer,
your TV, the car you drive, our civilization are possible because of the logical
brain. If you were to remove that logical brain, with all the social program-
ming, behavior, knowledge, and the other things we learned from our soci-
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ety, we would behave like monkeys.
The easiest way to demonstrate how people behave without logic is to give
them a lot of alcohol. As we know, alcohol shuts down the logical brain. Take
a look at what happens at night clubs and bars when people drink a lot of
alcohol and it becomes clear.
Males try to protect their territory and their partners, they fi ght and display
for dominance and alpha male status. They seek out mates and try to attract
them. Just like any other animal does.
Females, try to gain protection and comfort from their group, so they circle
around their friends and keep strangers away. They dance to display their
physical attractiveness. With a lot of alcohol their social programming and
logic goes down and they start to behave more promiscuously, navigated by
their most basic instincts and sex drive.
This is why a lot of people get together when they are under the infl uence
of alcohol. People like to say that girls are easy when you get them drunk.
That is true, but it’s also not true. While their logical brain is down girls are
driven by their emotions and instincts. They aren’t thinking of a reason not
to kiss or have fun with somebody because reasoning is offl ine when they
are drunk. But this is also why they often don’t call or date guys who they
have drunken one night stands with. When they wake up the next day, they
realize they chose the wrong guy.
Men often think predominantly with left logical brain. But when it comes to
choosing a mate, women think mainly with their right emotional brain. This
is why we have communication problems between the genders. Most men
can’t understand why when they think they are doing everything “right” and
try to logically “talk” a girl into dating or having sex with them it doesn’t work
even though everything seems logically perfect.
Attraction is emotional and cannot be “reasoned” or “argued” into existence.
You must appeal to a woman’s right brain instincts and emotions to succeed
with her…
The main reason men and women don’t seem to “understand” one another
lies in this fact; guys are predominantly logical while Females are predomi-
nantly emotional. Many decisions women make depend on how to they feel
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in that particular moment. Their emotions play a dominant role in their deci-
sion making in a way that men can’t always relate to. They behave the way
they feel in the moment.
Here is a tip: Don’t ever try to change the decision a girl makes using logic.
Instead, change her feelings and her decision will automatically change. For
example, if a girl doesn’t feels anything towards you and doesn’t want to be
with you. Don’t try logically to change her decision to be with you. Instead,
behave and steer the conversation in ways that will change how she feels. If
you succeed in changing her emotions, her decision changes automatically.
Sometimes it’s really hard to explain female behavior, almost impossible,
because they are driven by emotions which are constantly changing. And
their behavior changes as soon as their emotions change. Their two parts
of their brain are constantly fi ghting with each other. This is the reason why
women, especially younger girls, behave so strangely. One day they like you
and next day they don’t answer your phone calls.
Some girls try to hide their emotional side and on the surface the only thing
that is visible is the logical side. But you must still operate with the objective
of appealing to her emotions. Under the surface, that is still what’s running
the show.
Nice guys have really big problems when they try to seduce women with logi-
cal bullshit. Girls hate logic. You can’t talk with them like your male friends.
You can’t engage their emotional brain with boring topics like business, your
job, sports, politics and your car. If you take a look at why they are attracted
to fast cars, you will also understand that besides social status, it drives their
emotions crazy: speed and adrenaline is a BIG turn-on.
Sometimes a girl will reject you and push you away even though she is at-
tracted to you. She doesn’t want to feel easy so she will put up resistance
because her programming tells her that if she is too easy, then she is a slut.
So, girls are forced to put some resistance, even with a guy they want badly.
They do this to prove that they are not easy and to make you work a little
harder… No doesn’t mean “never”. It means “try one more time.”
One of my girlfriends, when I met her, told me to fuck off three times. Then
a few weeks later she told me that from the moment I approached her she
wanted to have sex with me. I asked her why she tried to brush me off. She
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said that if she jumped on me right away she would be too easy. So, she
actually pushed me away to the point that most guys would give up. Doesn’t
make much sense, but it’s what happened. If I had bought into her frame,
however illogical, we never would have begun dating. Instead, I maintained
my strong frame and was able to steer things in the right direction.
You must understand that her brain is constantly fi ghting with itself; logic vs.
emotions. Whenever you talk with a woman be aware that things she says
may not always be what she really wants. Sometimes you will see they will
verbally tell you one thing and with their bodies indicate the opposite.
As a rule, things she says comes from her logical brain while things her body
does come from the emotional brain. Always trust body language and what
she does more than what she says. What she says comes more from social
programming and magazines than what she does, which is hard wired and
doesn’t lie. Trust what her emotional brain is telling you and use it to gauge
how you are doing and what you need to do next.
It’s really not hard to understand why most hot girls go for jerks, but let me
explain it to you even more. I can say from my experience, where I had a
few years of being Mr. Nice Guy, and a long history of being a jerk towards
women. A woman, when she thinks logically, would never consider being
with a jerk, but when she is, neither can she explain her actions. If you ask
them, they will tell you that these guys frustrate them and they still can’t
resist them. It’s stronger than logic. They simply feel attraction towards
those guys because they are more confi dent, they go for what they want,
and women unconsciously like to be controlled by more powerful men.
So, understanding these things helps us understand why a hot girl goes for
a jerk. He conveys, often accidentally, all of the alpha qualities she is wired
to seek out because of her evolutionary programming and at the same time
elicits lots of emotions in her. Nice guys convey nothing alpha and just give
her one emotion and that is love. Love is great, but after a while it becomes
boring and monotonous. And if it is given too early without the girl having
to earn it, its value is insignifi cant. If a woman were choosing guys logically
she would never consider being with a jerk, but we see it happen all the time.
Emotions rule their decisions.
There is a middle ground. A place where you can be alpha and take her on
the emotional roller coaster without being an asshole. That is realm of the
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Seducer. As a Seducer, I consciously convey all the powerful alpha quali-
ties she is looking for and make premeditated decisions that manipulate her
emotions without abusing them. I do it just enough to give her the thrills
she subconsciously wants but I don’t intentionally hurt her. It’s similar to
being a jerk in how we are assertive
and lead them, but with the idea of
making the interaction a win-win
situation rather than narcissistically
one-sided.
Power
P
ower is the biggest aphrodisiac.
Women in particular are hugely
attracted to power for the reasons
we have discussed. Throughout
history, the display of power took
many different forms; in prehistor-
ic days the most muscular hunter
had the power, in Rome the sena-
tor with the most connections, and
nowadays a combination of social
status, the car you drive and the
amount of money you have signify
your power. But the strange thing is
that there are tons of decent, smart
guys in today’s society who have
money, drive sports-cars but don’t
get laid. They are afraid of even
approaching hot girls. This is be-
cause they believe the women have
all the power.
If you could see me approach a hot
girl in a club you would see pow-
er. The girl I approach is going to
know she is not dealing with a weak
excuser. Especially in a night-time
venue, the way you communicate
Post from the
Carpe Diem Forum on
A Year in the Life of a BB Workshop
Attendee
By Mr. Brightside
Before I begin, I dont hold myself out
to be an accomplished PUA or a super
Pimp but in the past year Ive become
pretty good with girls. I still have chal-
lenges (approach anxiety with daygame
and sometimes in niteclubs is still a
stubborn issue that creeps up on me
from time to time and I got a bad case
of one-itis at the moment) but my love
life has really undergone a quantum
leap since the workshop.
Pre workshop: I was kinda a recover-
ing AFC. I was a shy, very insecure
teenager. David Deangelos Cocky Fun-
ny had kind of given me some sem-
blance of game. It would work most-
ly on party chicks but never really
on the girls I wanted however I felt
completely inadequate and undeserving
round 9s and 10s. My game took a
nosedive after doing an RSD workshop
and becoming absorbed in mASF a se-
rious case of paralysis by analysis. I
wouldnt approach unless I had my 79
canned openers, stories, DHVs and mag-
ic tricks worked out in my head..so as
you can guess I didnt do very much
approaching and I still felt very intimi-
dated by 9s and 10s. In fact I had
never even approached a 9 or a 10 in
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when you start your seduction must
be full of power; eye-contact, tonal-
ity, your posture, the way you move,
your attitude. As soon as a girl de-
tects she has more power then you
have, that she is stronger than you,
all your chances are destroyed. By
nature, the man is supposed to be
the stronger one, the one who has
the power. If she is the stronger
one, she will not fi nd you attrac-
tive.
When you approach a girl with the
mindset that you are weak and she
is strong, you are immediately push-
ing the girl into an unnatural posi-
tion for her, a position where she
is supposed to have the power. And
she instinctively knows that she is
not supposed to have the power.
Girls are fascinated and obsessed
by power. It makes them feel safe,
protected and therefore able to open
up sexually. Recent studies have
shown that orgasms take place in
the brain for women, and in order
to have an orgasm they must let go
of fear and anxiety and trust their
partner totally.
When a girl is around a powerful
man, she surrenders her body and
spirit to him. She is feeling safe, pro-
tected, and turned on by his power
all at the same time. Just take a
look how girls behave around celeb-
rities and other guys who possess
power. They don’t think, they just
my life, I only went for girls I abso-
lutely knew I could get.
Workshop: Initially I thought BB was
an asshole, he was sharp, abrupt and
nothing like that nice cuddly Mr. Tyler
and his sidekick Papa. (I realised later,
his manner was designed to shake me
out of my “excuzer” malaise.) I also
thought a lot of the exercises we were
doing were stupidbut somehow in spite
of my best efforts, they worked. I got
a kiss close my first night, on my
second night, a kiss and number close
from a Mexican/Korean exchange stu-
dent (beautiful and a HB9) and on the
final night I nearly fuck closed a nice
English girl (got stopped by a pesky
hotel receptionist..long story!). For me
the Badboy workshop wasnt a process
of learning new techniques (I dont think
I really learned any!) it was more a
process of unlearning..of unburdening
you of all the societal norms and rules
which tend to fuck you up!
Post Workshop: I wasnt sure how and
what Badboy had instilled in me but I
wasnt gonna mess with a winning for-
mula. I stopped visiting all the various
message boards (this one included) and
stopped reading any seduction related
material whatsoever. The firsy weekend
back from workshop I kissclosed a 9
and a 10 on consecutive nights ( I dont
tend to exaggerate, these girls were tru-
ly beautiful).whatsmore I did this sober,
quite an achievement for me. This gen-
erated a momentum that I managed to
keep up for most of the past year.
I moved to Dublin (Im Irish) for study
purposes for a while and there shit
really took off. I dont need to really
elaborate but during the few months I
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surrender their bodies and minds to
them.
Surrender is the key to female sex-
uality. Power is the cornerstone of
male sexuality. Yin and yang.
So how do you go from being weak,
afraid of approaching hot girls, to
being confi dent and radiating pow-
er? Think about approaches you
may have done in the past; you will
see that success or failure was often
all about your power, your convic-
tion. When you got blown out it’s
often because the girl thought “an-
other weak guy – get lost.” On the
same note, how sure you were of
yourself and how sure you were that
the girl would be open to you came
into play when you were success-
ful. You assumed success, just like
a true alpha male would.
Pull yourself out of the bullshit so-
cial Matrix – realize that you are
the prize, not her. The man is
the prize. This is how it has been
throughout the ages and this is how
women want it to be. They want
to be with the prize. Approach
and deal with girls from the mindset
of being the prize, the rock-star, the
king of the jungle.
Why do women spend hours get-
ting ready to go out, spend a for-
tune just to get their hair cut, read
beauty magazines and worry so
much about what they look like? So
was in the city, I had a number of
pretty cool experiences. I had sex or
fooled around with a number of girls
in various niteclub toilets (Classy!). I
got a blowjob from a stripper in an al-
leyway (again very classy!?!). I had a
threesome (I managed to get the girls
back to my flat by telling them I had
the biggest and most technologically
advanced George Foreman fat-reducing
grill in the world!). I guess my proud-
est achievement from my time in Dub-
lin was fooling around with a beautiful
South African/Irish law student/model
(well, she said she had done some mod-
elling and appeared in a music vide-
odoes that count!?). Since Ive been back
in my hometown, (I still live with my
parents!) Ive had sex a few times in
the back seat of my crappy beat-up car
(am I a classy guy or what!?).
Aside from the various sexual exploits,
lots of other weird shit has happened.
Girls will often come up to me and tell
me Im gorgeous (this RARELY IF EVER
happened before), others have come
up to me and started immediately rub-
bing my crotch (this NEVER happened
before). Others still, have just kinda
jumped me when Ive stopped them in a
club and started making out with me. I
would regard myself as a regular look-
ing guy so I can only attribute this to
a particular vibe or attitude I give off!
Any ideas?
Even more than that Ive found my
abilities with women have helped me
concurrently in other areas of my life.
Now that I have more of an outlet for
my previously pent up sexual frustra-
tions, my mind has become a lot quieter,
calmer and more purposeful. I can fo-
cus more on my career and other goals
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they will appear worthy of the right
guy when he comes along. They
are trying to prove themselves as a
valuable mate. If they wanted guys
who were below them in power and
status they would show up at the
club in sweatpants instead of in un-
comfortable three inch heels. They
know they have to prove themselves
if they want the truly alpha guys. If
you prove that you are this guy, that
you have power, that you are the
prize, then she will want to win you
over and be with you.
The choice is yours. She can only choose from the guys who approach her.
If nobody approaches her, she can choose NOTHING. If only weak beta guys
approach her, she will turn them away and end up with NOTHING. You have
all the power my friend, you are choosing who you are going to approach
and who you will be with. You are the one who will decide whether you will
see her again or not. You are the one who is going to say she is the chosen
one. Their job is to look beautiful and expose themselves to the market...
Oops... I mean club.
Stop thinking about your troubles – how unworthy you are, how terrible your
life is, your concerns about the future. There are plenty of guys with more
problems, less money and less status who are getting tons of girls. These
guys live in the moment and believe they have what it takes to be the prize.
The more you compress your life into the immediate moment and enjoy who
and where you are right now, the more power you are going to feel. Alpha
males always truly believe that things will work out for them in the long run
because they have what it takes to succeed. People sense this confi dence
and respond to it.
Power is just concentrated energy and we lose energy by worrying. Energy
fl ows where attention goes. I want you to not listen to your own thoughts,
which haven’t got you the success you’ve deserved, but instead to the
thoughts and mindsets I am describing to you here in this book.
When you turn a girl around with a sly smile on your face, when you tell her,
now. Also now that I have managed
to beat a lot of my fears and insecuri-
ties I am more accepting of myself and
generally more comfortable in my own
skin, I also stopped drinking completely.
Further now that I know I have the
ability to attract women, this has kind
of imbued me with an inner belief that
kind of radiates to other people. I dont
know how many times guys and girls
have said to me in the past year that
theyve never met anybody like me! Im
taking this to be a good thing.
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without any excuses, that you fi nd her beautiful and you will get to know her,
when you talk to her emotions and avoid boring talk -- these things are go-
ing to demonstrate your power as a seducer and a man; the powerful man
you are SUPPOSED to be.
Negativity and Weakness
O
ne of things that will destroy your game big time is a negative attitude
towards yourself and towards women. This is something that you must
really be careful about monitoring. People can smell negativity and weak-
ness; especially girls. If you approach thinking about how beautiful she is
and that you don’t deserve her or that all women are “stupid bitches” and
she will probably reject you, no matter how much you try to hide it, it will be
obvious.
Small body language clues will reveal it and you will destroy your chances
with the girl. If you think you don’t deserve her while talking with her, she
will pickup on that belief and start believing that you really don’t deserve her.
Then the game is over. If you have hostility towards women, you will say
something or act in a way that will let her know that and she will not want to
be around you. Being a misogynist is not alpha.
Everything starts from you. If you think you are loser who’s bad with woman
why would other people think differently? And we communicate these beliefs
right from the fi rst moment of the interaction. This is so obvious in clubs,
where girls get hit on every few minutes and they need to weed out losers as
soon as possible. Most of times they won’t even talk to guys just because of
the way they look, move, talk, etc. in the fi rst few seconds. They will fi gure
out what kind of guy he is just by glancing at his subcommunications. When
you get rejected it means that you didn’t convey enough power and confi -
dence -- you didn’t conveyed that you are the prize. A girl told me once, “I
am insecure, my life is boring. I don’t need an insecure boring guy around
me”. We must rid ourselves of these insecurities by fi xing our Inner Game.
Inner Game
I
nner Game is based is rooted in your confi dence, beliefs and your overall
attitude about life. Whether you realize it or not, your attitude is con-
stantly projected to the women you talk to. If you have a strong, assertive
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and positive attitude, women will naturally be attracted to you. That’s how
most naturals get laid. They develop these three aspects of their identity:
confi dence, beliefs and attitude. When this happens, they begin to feel more
confi dent and they start to behave like they’re the prize, which is exactly
what attracts women.
People in general love leaders, especially women. Leaders are naturally at-
tractive because they radiate confi dence and not easily concerned with out-
side criticism. They know exactly what they want and focus their energies on
achieving their goals. Learning how to become a leader, how to make people
follow you and respect you is essential to leading a successful life.
An observation I’ve made is that charisma does not exist. People do not know
how to describe something that is intangible, so they say this person has
“charisma”, or “this guy is a charismatic personality”. If you take the time to
observe charismatic people, you see that they actually have one big quality
in common. They have a frame (or point of view) so strong that people are
sucked into their reality. Everything they do refl ects an ultra-strong frame
that exists inside their individual reality. They tend to have a lot of rules that
you must follow when you are around them. They treat themselves with in-
tegrity and they absolutely will not tolerate disrespect; in fact they punish
it.
You can apply these characteristics to your own life. They are core lessons for
living successfully on this planet. Let’s take respect for example: How do you
ensure that the people around you show respect for you and your work? First
start to respect yourself and your work too. When you start to respect your-
self completely, other people will respect you as well. If you don’t respect
yourself, why in the world would anyone else? If you treat yourself like shit,
trust me, other people will do the same because you are sending a strong
signal to the world that shit is exactly what you are.
Next, what you must accomplish is to develop a set of unwavering rules in
your life that defi ne what people can and cannot do around you or to you.
You must punish any negative behavior that impedes upon your integrity.
Tell them you disapprove and make it crystal clear that they cannot behave
like that if they want to be in your company. Kick their asses for it. Make
them know they did something that you do not respect or tolerate. If people
treat you like shit and you let them get away with it, they will do it again and
again. Other people see this and learn to disrespect you also. Make personal
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boundaries for yourself and make it clear to the people around you that these
boundaries must be respected. Humans are social pack animals, meaning
they will accept the strongest frame presented to them.
For example, if my girlfriend fl akes on me, of course I will be pissed off, but
I will never act pissed off or angry. I will calmly state that I don’t respect
what she did and that it will not happen again. For everything that she does
that I do not like, I tell her she can do it only 3 times: the fi rst time, the last
time and never again! My rules are strict. People will enjoy the time they
spend with me. In return I will do everything I can for their happiness. I
will teach them and have fun with them but there are some rules you must
follow, otherwise you won’t see me ever again.
I make options for myself, so that you are not my only choice and I can go
out with someone else if I choose. For now, even if you don’t have other op-
tions, make it look like you do. Behave like you do. I am going to do every-
thing for my girls. I love them and will treat them like a queen…but only as
long as I think they deserve it. It is funny to see how, when women don’t
get what they want, they call me a jerk but always stick around... They may
not like your rules, but they will respect you if you stick to them.
Take a look at the police. They have strict rules. Break them and you’ll get
punished, and trust me, you won’t make the same mistake again in your life.
I want you to do the same in your own life. Let people around you know
what is allowed and what is not. Otherwise nobody is going to respect you.
It is funny, but people will test you from time to time to see if you are still
congruent with your frame. That is why I say that “shit tests” are not prob-
lematic. As long as you are congruent with your frame, shit tests are a non-
issue. In fact, they will reinforce that you are the real deal when you pass
them. Women will challenge you all the time when you are seducing them.
That’s just normal behavior.
My best friend has this cute little dog. The pet knows that it is not allowed to
sleep on the sofa because he got his ass kicked a few times, and still, months
later, he comes near the sofa with his cute little look. He glances at the sofa,
then his owner, the sofa, the owner, just waiting for a reaction. He might
even put one leg close to the sofa, the whole time looking at his owner. What
the dog is actually doing is testing his owner to see if he is still congruent
with his rule about sleeping on the sofa. Is he going to allow him to jump on
the sofa or is he going to yell at him? The dog is not giving his owner shit,
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he’s just making sure he is still congruent. Children will test you in the same
way. Every couple of days, or even hours, they will challenge you to see if
the rules have weakened or changed. You can observe this behavior every-
where in nature.
Now, let’s get back to charismatic people. The more rules charismatic people
have, and the more they punish those who break their rules, the more char-
ismatic they appear. Positive examples are Christ, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama
and Martin Luther King. A negative example would be Hitler. Being assertive
does not make you good or evil. It gives you power. How you choose to use
it is up to you.
With women, you give them pleasure and show them a really nice time when
they are with you, but you must also remember to punish any negative be-
havior or disrespect from her.
So the fi rst step toward developing confi dence, belief and attitude is to start
respecting yourself! If you have ever gone out with me, you will notice
something really unusual: as soon as I go into a set, I am not sucked into
their frame. I do not live in their world. You will see that they live in my
world. How do you see this? When I approach a set or any group of people,
I don’t position myself so the whole group can hear me. I don’t try to yell so
the whole group can hear me. First, I position myself in the most comfortable
position, where I feel the most relaxed. Then I reorganize the other people
around me in a way I like. For example, I approach them, have them open up
to me, sit down, and use the space around me to make myself comfortable.
Then, I might position the extra people to talk to each other, while the target
is left to talk to me. This behavior is not something I modeled or learned. It’s
been a part of my personality for a long time.
You will always see me in the most comfortable position you can imagine
while I am in a set or anywhere in life. Why? Because I operate from the
frame that I am the leader, I am the prize. I have the right to make myself
comfortable. I have no reason to ask permission or make excuses for any-
thing I do. When you TRULY begin to live in this frame, people will automati-
cally follow you because the powerful reality that you exude is irresistibly
attractive. This reality can only come from developing strong Inner Game.
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Frames
T
his is a concept from NLP that says that in any situation, there is a mental
“frame” that essentially sets what the reality is. The most simple ex-
ample is the glass half empty/half full analogy. Same situation; one person
sees a reality of abundance, the other scarcity.
How we frame things in our own mind literally shapes how we experience the
world. Winners frame situations in ways that are positive and productive,
losers frame things catastrophically and as a victim. Neither is more “right”,
but one is certainly more useful. We take for granted that how we feel or
view the world is true, but it is always subjective. Begin to consciously frame
your thoughts towards the reality that you are the prize, that you are an at-
tractive person and that you can take what you want out of the world, and
you will begin to feel and act differently, leading to better results. It takes
some work, but it is the difference between the winners and losers in life.
An important area of pickup that frames apply to is rejection. Rejection is a
part of the Game, so don’t let it bother you. In the beginning, girls will reject
you a lot because you will make mistakes. Just like playing any a sport, you
must fail fi rst to get better. Don’t let this discourage you.
You can frame rejection in two ways. You can personalize it and say, “There’s
something wrong with me, so they reject me,” or you can say, “These people
don’t know me to reject me as a person. I need to adjust my presentation.”
One is painful and limiting, the other is painless and productive. The latter
also helps you to fi gure out what went wrong, make adjustments and get
better. Same situation, different realities. Be aware of your internal frames
in every area of your life.
Frames also extend outside ourselves to our interactions with other people.
When you talk with another person, there is always an overarching frame.
In pickup, you can really see the power of frames at work. When a guy
apologetically approaches a girl like a pussy and tries to buy her a drink, the
frame he has set is “You are Better Than Me” and she will immediately turn
off. When you subcommunicate dominant qualities and are non-reactive to
her shit tests while being charming and fun, you project the frame, “I am an
Alpha male. You would be lucky to be with me.” All of this occurs subcon-
sciously on a macro level, controlling the meaning of the interaction. The
sum total of both people’s words, actions and mannerisms sets the frame.
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Sometimes frames come into confl ict. Whenever that happens, the stron-
ger frame will win. Your frame might be, “I’m the Alpha male,” and hers
is, “I’m above you. You’re not worthy of me.” What happens then? There
will be a test of wills that determines who’s reality is stronger. Whoever has
the stronger conviction and is more congruent to their frame will absorb the
other person. Either she will submit to your alphaness and begin IOIing you,
or you will fl inch and she will dismiss you as just another lame guy who’s
not worthy of her. Commit to your frames and don’t react to ones you don’t
like. The people with the most magnetic personalities are the ones who suck
others into their frames. Choose the right ones and stick to them to the end
because you really are choosing the reality that you are experiencing.
For more on the subject, check out Frame Games by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
Practice:
When you enter situations where you feel nervous or insecure, stop and think of
the frame you are operating in - name it, and write it down. Like “I’m not worthy
of her,” or, “I’m probably going to screw this up,” etc...
The act of becoming conscious and aware of these usually unconscious frames will
change your life. When we are not conscious of them, we take for granted that they
are reality, we don’t even necessarily think of them literally, but we feel and behave
according to their dictates on a subconscious level. By noticing and labeling them,
it becomes apparent that they are subjective - that they are not reality. A bad frame
is a stance you have unconsciously chosen to take. Once you are conscious of it,
it is easy to choose a different frame.
Do this every day for a month. Write down every bad frame you find yourself oper-
ating under and then write down a productive frame that would be a better alterna-
tive. Eventually, your mind will do this on it’s own and become self correcting.
Part II
Seduction Techniques
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The Structure of a Pickup
T
o understand the process of meeting and seducing a woman you must
fi rst know how to attract her and once she is hooked how to build wide
and deep rapport with her. The goal here is to create connections on two
emotional levels; fi rst on a primal /instinctual/ sexual level and then on an
emotional/ understanding/ commonalities level. If you learn to do this cor-
rectly and consistently, you will become a formidable seducer. In previous
sections we talked about why attraction happens. In this section we will
go further by explaining how it happens and the process of seduction as a
whole.
Imagine the seduction process like this -- there are 2 empty glasses, one
is attraction and the other is rapport. First you must fi ll up the attraction
glass. When it is full, you will start to notice indicators of interest. That sig-
nals it is time to fi ll up the rapport glass.
If you make the very common mistake of fi lling the rapport glass fi rst and
there is no attraction, she will start to see you as a friend and on your fi rst
move she will give you the famous, “Lets just be friends,” line. Why is that?
Because even though you connect with her on a lot of topics and you can talk
about lot of things, she doesn’t feel any kind of SEXUAL attraction towards
you.
It’s the same as buying a car or making any kind of major decision. First,
you feel an emotion towards the thing in question, then logic follows and
you make the decision. When someone tries to sell you a car the fi rst thing
he’s going to do is appeal to your emotions. He’ll talk about it in descriptive
terms and let you drive it and feel what it’s like to own it. Then once you
are hooked on the emotions, he’ll sit you down with the paperwork and talk
about numbers and logical points. If he did it in reverse, he’d never make
a sale. Seduction is the same. A woman will never want to bother building
real rapport with you and seek commonalities unless she feels something.
Emotion fi rst, then logic.
That’s why fi rst, we must create attraction. If you have sexual attraction,
she will want to know you better and connect with you. She will often start
asking for rapport by giving you leading questions or offering up personal
information. Then you can move into rapport together without having to
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force it.
On the fl ip side, many guys who are good at building attraction forget to
move into rapport and build a real emotional connection with a woman. They
become a shallow caricature of the cocky entertaining guy at the bar. Then
what happens is the guy gets a phone number, she goes to sleep and tomor-
row when she wakes up she doesn’t feel anything towards him anymore.
The feeling goes away, like all feelings do. It disappears with time like any
emotion and she has no logical justifi cation based on a real mental connec-
tion to justify calling him back. He was just some shallow hot guy who hit
on her last night. In order to lock in attraction and make it last, you must
create rapport. You must connect with the other person.
There is a crucial point where you must jump to rapport. If you pay attention
to the girl’s subcommunications you will notice that she will tell you exactly
what you need to do to seduce her. You can trust these signals because they
come from her subconscious.
They will tell you through their actions when they are really attracted, when
you have created rapport and when she is ready for the kiss. You just need
to be relaxed, and watch out for the signals. Once you create good rapport
with the girl (wide and deep) and reach the soul mate level that will guaran-
tee that you see her again.
So the basic structure of a good seduction is like this:
You approach and initiate the conversation. Then you move to a comfortable
position -- this means you position yourself in the conversation so that you
are physically comfortable and she feels comfortable talking with you. This
is a small but crucial detail before attraction happens. In order for her to be
comfortable talking with you, YOU fi rst must be comfortable talking.
Next, we develop attraction by conveying the personality traits of her ideal
guy. You can monitor attraction by the indicators of interest she subcommu-
nicates. Once we have attraction, we move into rapport which must be wide
and deep (which we will discuss later). And fi nally after we have rapport she
is ready for the kiss and eventually isolation to a different location.
Our main objective is to appeal to her emotional nature completely by satis-
fying her on the basic sexual level and on the more cerebral soul mate level
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at the same time. This is not only the secret to seducing a woman you just
met, but also to holding on to her once you have her which we will discuss
in later sections.
Attraction
A
ttraction is a feeling, and just like any other feeling it goes away with
time. Just like pain and pleasure you can feel it in your body.
Attraction is the feeling that you truly want something. We can go further by
separating attraction into two categories: sexual attraction, towards another
person, and normal attraction, towards an object or thing, like a car, a house
or a job. Here, we will concentrate on sexual attraction. Both can be created
with the proper strategies. Good salesmen are able to create normal attrac-
tion in people towards whatever it is they are selling. Seducers are able to
create attraction towards themselves.
As we all know sexual attraction can sometimes occur naturally with no ef-
fort. A woman talks to a guy she doesn’t know and suddenly starts feeling
attraction towards him. She WANTS him. She will start to show indicators
of interest towards this guy that will signal that she is interested in him.
Consciously or unconsciously, she realizes that he is a guy that matches
her criteria.
If we reverse engineer this process we realize that we can attract a girl if we
are able to recognize what she wants and convey those things.
But fi rst, let me tell you what they for sure don’t want. They universally
don’t want guys who are insecure, boring, monotone and have no sense of
humor. They don’t want guys who don’t respect themselves and who are
afraid to take what they want.
If this is what they don’t want, then again, by reverse engineering we can
fi gure out things that they universally attracted to. The opposite of the traits
above –- they are attracted to guys who are secure, confi dent, adventur-
ous, expressive, funny, who have self respect and take what they want out
of life.
When you talk with a girl you just met, she is going to screen you for your
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personality traits. She is going to fi nd out by your behavior if you are the
kind of guy she is searching for or not. Every time you talk with somebody
new, you are creating an image of yourself in their mind with what you do
verbally and non-verbally. Verbally by means of stories, jokes and other
things that you tell them and non-verbally by the way you behave; your body
language, voice, the way you move, the way you walk.
Basically, every time you talk with a new person you can be whoever
you want. You just need to know how to convey the traits that you would
like people to know you for. With time, they will become part of who you are
so that nobody will be able tell if you were always naturally like this or if you
worked to consciously achieve it.
It really doesn’t matter if you were once a nice guy or boring or something
else that girls don’t like. You just need to learn how to behave differently
and convey that different more positive personality you want and you can
become the prince that they have been searching after for years.
On the surface level, women like different things; they may like guys with
brown hair, intellectuals, muscle heads, but at the deepest most important
level all of them are searching for exactly same thing.
Write these things down on a piece of paper and memorize them so
that you can fi nd ways to convey these to every woman you want to
seduce.
Seduction Switches – All women are attracted to a guy who is:
Confident and not needy
Has a sense of humor
Knows what he wants
Adventurous and wild
Looks and dresses and smells nice
In control
Interesting and unpredictable
Sexual
Honest and bold
Wants a relationship with her
And most important, CARES about her and thinks she is SPECIAL!!
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If you convey these things successfully, a woman will start to feel attraction
in her body towards you because you appear to be the guy that she has
been searching for.
The easiest way to understand this is through something I call “Switch Theo-
ry”. Think of the on/off switches you have in your house for electricity? Now
imagine you have a bunch of them in one box that determines a woman’s
attraction to you.
Now, those switches can be either ON or OFF. There is no value in-between...
for geeks, it’s all off. What we are teaching you to do is fl ip all the universal
switches to ON that appeal to every woman.
What happens when you switch on most of these switches? She starts to be
show interest in you -- she starts to show IOIs (indicators of interest). When
she meets a guy who is funny, good looking, interesting, romantic, and not
needy, she becomes interested in getting to know him better and eventually
in sleeping with him.
How do you fl ip a switch? Let’s say you want to convey being romantic. You
can tell stories where you were romantic. You can hook her with interesting
snippets of your life and make her ask you questions where you get to reveal
your romantic side. The best thing is to never verbalize it at all and let her
conclude that you are romantic by your actions. For example, a week ago
I was driving a girl home and stopped the car in the middle of a busy street
and started passionately making out with her for a few minutes. People in
the other cars honked and went crazy, but I didn’t care. It was “our mo-
ment”. She loved it.
It doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as the you fl ip the romantic switch
to the ON position. Every story or action you take should say something to
her and fl ip her switches. When designing stories, you need to fi rst think of
what you want to convey and fi nd stories in your life you can tweak to subtly
communicate these. But make sure you avoid overt bragging, though. From
time to time make a joke about yourself to get a laugh and show that you are
not trying too hard to impress her.
We get attraction and hit these switches by using a combination of good body
language, stories, behavior and our sense of style.
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Being Confi dent and Not Needy
T
he fi rst section of the book covers a great deal of this but in addition to
fi xing your Inner Game you need to view each pickup without any needi-
ness or expectation. Even if you are lonely, there are tons of girls out there
and no particular set is important. Let go of your attachment to “winning”.
It’s very Zen. The less you “care” about the outcome the better you will do.
It’s because guys who have abundance in their lives don’t exude any needi-
ness.
A big problem happens when a guy is needy to get a girl in his life and thinks
she will solve all his problems. By being so desperate, every girl runs away
when she smells how unhappy he is. If he cannot make himself happy, how
he is going to make somebody else happy? If you want others to love you,
you must love yourself fi rst.
So the key is fi rst to fi x your life and prepare a kingdom where you are the
ruler and can receive girls into the kingdom. A fucked-up, boring life, or a life
full of anxieties and troubles which you haven’t dealt with is not attractive
for anybody, especially not for girls. But when a guy is confi dent and seems
to be exactly who and where he wants to be will draw women in just by the
way he subcommunicates abundance and success.
Being Adventurous
B
eing an adventurous guy represents good sex and a lot of adrenalin and
emotions in the relationship. Being with a guy who is adventurous is
always interesting, refreshing and full of new things. That’s why they have
such a turn on towards adventurous guys. You bring excitement to their life.
If you want to be a guy like that, for starters, simply don’t do things that
everybody else does.
That means if the normal date is to go for coffee or to the movies, do some-
thing different, something more physical. Take her to mini golf or bungee
jumping. You will be shocked by how much they appreciate this. This is
because they always get asked to coffee or a movie. I sometimes feel sorry
for them. Most guys have no imagination or creativity at all. Be different, do
something different. And tailor it to your life and who you are.
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I take girls rafting, to the zoo or watching the stars with a telescope. These
are things I want to do, so it’s part of my life anyway. I just invite them along
to it. They will see that you lead an interesting and unconventional life and
will want to become a part of it.
Looking Good
P
eople notice how you dress, and they will judge you on your choices. It’s
a fact of life, and you probably do it too. If you are walking alone in a
dark alley in the middle of the night with all of your money in your pocket,
who would you be most worried about? Stop and visualize each of these
people separately, and then think about how you feel about each of them.
•
•
A man in pressed and well-fi tted suit with clean shoes, a briefcase, and
a fashionable tie?
•
•
A man in ripped jeans, big boots with metal spikes, a bandana and a
leather jacket,
•
•
A man dressed in shorts, sandals a big sweater and swim goggles.
Keep in mind – I didn’t tell you anything about these men – I just said it
was “a man” each time. When you were imagining them, perhaps you also
imagined some physical characteristics. Was one man big while another was
small? Did they vary in strength? Were they of different races? Any differ-
ences in these three men apart from their clothes comes directly and only
from you – and shows how natural and normal it is to make judgments about
people based on how they choose to dress.
Let’s dig deeper. The fi rst man probably didn’t scare you, because he so ob-
viously belonged in a corporate environment. You can guess what kind of job
he might have, what kind of place he works in, what kinds of things he does
on his free time, and so on. You might be wrong, because individual people
do defy patterns, but you’d be right most of the time. This is because you’ve
met men who dress like this in the past or seen them on TV and in the mov-
ies, and you’ve learned about things they have in common.
The second man probably scared you. He’s dressed like we expect someone
who was violent might dress if he were going to be in a dark alley. Even if we
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don’t know any muggers personally, we have an idea of what we think they
look like from the media.
The third man probably scared you too, for a different reason. He might be
crazy or otherwise mentally unbalanced. The informal rules of our society
say not to wear outfi ts like that. Logically, if it’s warm enough for sandals
and short, it’s too warm for a sweater and there’s no reason to be wearing
goggles in an alley.
The purpose of this was to put you inside a woman’s head. This helps us
understand part of her thought process when she looks at how you dress:
•
•
She knows that your clothes didn’t fall on you by accident. You made
a choice to wear these clothes and she will use that information to make
assumptions about you.
•
•
She will make implicit assumptions about you without even realizing
it. Before she even really notices you, she may already think you are
“boring” or “sexy” or “creative”.
•
•
She is going to assume that you behave and live a lifestyle similar to
those of other men she has met who dress in a similar way
•
•
She is going to draw on stereotypes from the media, especially mov-
ies and television, and assume that you live like, or are trying to live
like, movie or TV characters who dress in a similar way.
So, how you dress is unbelievably important. Some things are up to
individual taste, but here are some rules which will always help you:
•
•
Make sure you clothes are clean, always. Ripped clothes can be fash-
ionable, if done right, but dirty clothes never are. This is especially im-
portant for your shoes. Women notice shoes. If yours can be polished,
polish them.
•
•
Don’t be too boring. If you dress the same as everyone else, she will
assume you’re like everyone else. Which would be a big waste, after
you’ve read this book and learned how to stand out from the pack of
losers.
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••
Don’t overdo your outfi t. If you have a couple of pieces that stand
out (for example, cool boots and a great jacket), then don’t wear pants
and a shirt that get too much attention. This will detract from the look
you’re trying to put together.
•
•
If you’re overweight, black clothes make you look thinner. If you’re
short, pinstripes make you look taller (and horizontal stripes make you
look shorter). If you have a nice body, show it off with your clothes, but
not too much – clothes that are too tight might make her think you are
gay.
•
•
Dress to fi t a stereotype. She is going to make judgments about you
based on how you dress, so dress in a way that helps her make the judg-
ments you want. For example, if you’re a musician, dress like one, but
make it look nice, so you don’t look like a starving musician. If you want
to communicate success, wear a nice suit, but if you don’t want her to
think you’re too boring, try a couple of pieces of jewelry. Dress like a
guy who gets laid and you will get start getting laid. Dress like a chode
and you will get the results of a chode.
At our workshops we always make sure to spend a lot of time with each
student individually so we can fi x what is going wrong with their clothes and
fi nd a dressing style that is perfect for them. I don’t know whether you are
young or old, rich or poor, creative or traditional, so, to get the perfect look,
you need this kind of personal advice. Talk to girls and look at guys who
have the identity you want to convey and copy what they are doing until you
develop your own sense of personal style.
Be in Control
G
irls love guys who are in control because it radiates confi dence. It sub-
communicates power and that she can rely on this kind of guy. You must
learn to become a guy who is always in control of himself and the situations
around him. How do we do this?
First, you must know what you want, and go for it without any fears. Then
it’s important to lead. Don’t expect her to make any decisions. The more you
lead her, like choosing where you will go for a date, when you will move to a
quieter location in the club, when you will kiss, the more you will exhibit the
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alpha qualities of a leader.
Never make them decide what you are going to do and where you are going
to go. Most women want these decisions to be made for them by a confi dent
guy. If she offers her opinion, be democratic, but still lead and decide what
the fi nal decision is going to be. They love when you decide for them and
when you take control of things. For example, let her choose the time but
you choose the location and the rest. It looks like fi fty-fi fty, but actually, you
have asserted that you are the one making decisions. And always be confi -
dent in your decisions. Let her know why you chose something and that it’s
going to be great.
This applies throughout your interaction with a woman. It’s very interesting
to see how much girls expect us to take initiative. Just watch them in clubs
when they stand in circles with friends and pretend to have fun, waiting for
something to happen.
In reality, they are there waiting for someone to approach them and sweep
them off their feet. It’s what they dream of. We must take control. The less
you expect from her and the less she has to do in seduction process, the
stronger your game will be. You will be much more successful when you take
control.
Never ask for permission when you decide to do something, i.e., “Would you
like to dance?” “Would you like to sit over there?” etc. Just make a state-
ment, “Let’s go sit over here.” “I’m going to take you to this amazing tapas
bar.”
When she is uncomfortable in a situation, take control and make the changes
required to make her feel comfortable. Example: You are making out with
her, but you can feel that the people around are making her feel uncomfort-
able. Take the lead and move her to a place where she feels more discreet.
You need to pay attention to how she feels all the time. Don’t ask her because
you will get the wrong answers. Instead, keep checking her body language
and try to sense how she feels. Watch, listen and be aware.
Every so often ask yourself, “Does she feel okay right now with me? What
I can do to make her feel even more relaxed and comfortable?” It will pay
dividends…
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When I say be a leader, that’s exactly what I mean. Pay attention to the
people around you, lead them and make them feel the best in every situa-
tion possible. If you see it hurts her to stand in high heels, don’t ask, “ Would
you like to sit down?” because she will probably say no because her friends
are over here, she doesn’t want to seem like she’s being picked up, or some
other reason. Instead say, “Lets go over there and sit down.” She will follow
because it’s simpler to follow than to decide and she REALLY wants to sit
down. You haven’t forced her to make a decision and by taking a little initia-
tive, you’ve isolated the girl from her group to a better seduction location.
Using the same principle… It’s 2 AM, and of course after clubbing everyone
is hungry. All you need to say is, “Hey, I’m hungry, lets get some food. You
can keep me company,” and you are halfway home. If you ask her, “Would
you like to get something to eat,” she will think of a million reasons why she
shouldn’t. Take the lead!
If you develop emotional intelligence, recognize how she feels, and have
the courage to be a man who takes initiative, you will become the man who
those girls are standing around waiting to meet. And when you take control
of all your interactions, you will fi nd that your results will improve dramati-
cally.
Being Unpredictable
A
big turn off to a woman is when she can predict a guy’s every step. This
is really boring for girls. And being boring is the enemy of attraction.
Being unpredictable is interesting, it conveys that you are not like all the
other guys. It drives them crazy. They think about you when they go home,
they wonder what you are going to do next. You become the most exciting
variable in their life.
How do you be unpredictable? From time to time do things that are the op-
posite from what you originally had planned. If she thinks you will take her
to the movies, instead take her rafting or to an art gallery. If you planned
to say I love you, say I HATE you, then hug her. Don’t always be like this,
because it can be confusing. She may think that you are insane or crazy. But
from time to time to mix things up. It’s OK to mess with her head a little bit.
If she thinks you will do something for her, surprise her, and do something
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for her but do something that is totally different from what she expected.
Let her keep wondering what you are going to do next. If nothing else, she
is thinking about you all the time and becomes more deeply invested.
Subcommunication
W
e have to not only pay attention to what we communicate, but just as
importantly, how we communicate it. Most people don’t understand
how to communicate effectively and control what they’re subcommunicat-
ing to others. If you want to be successful with women, and with people in
general, you must understand how people communicate.
8% of that communication is done with words. The rest is subcommunica-
tion; nonverbal signals such as the speed, pitch and tonality of voice, subtle
body language cues, eye contact, the way you walk, the way you move, the
way you dress.
So, we really have two layers of communication: VERBAL and NON-VERBAL
that we must manage.
What we say is very important, but the non-verbal layer is more important
because people will make a decision on whether they trust what a person
is saying by watching their nonverbal communication. When the two layers
don’t send same message, we say person is not “congruent” which means
the person is in some way lying.
For example, a guy says that he’s confi dent and calm while his legs and hands
are shaking. The verbal layer says, “I am confi dent and calm.” The nonver-
bal layer says, “I am insecure and afraid.” Which are you going to believe,
the verbal or nonverbal message? Non-verbal cues always dominate.
Women rely mostly on subcommunication in their interactions. The majority
of their communications to one another are nonverbal. For some men, it’s
like a secret code they can’t understand so they end up thinking women are
mysterious and unfathomable. Girls are masters at reading body language.
They can tell everything about you just by the way you walk, talk and the
way you are dressed. I personally don’t think its some secret gift they have,
its just part of their experience. They learn it culturally from other women
and from talking to people and being social for years. Guys start to hit on
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them at thirteen and try to pick them up, sell them stupid stories, ask for
dates, and sneak inside their panties. When they go to a club, they talk with
5-10 guys per night. Each guy is a different story. With time, they start rec-
ognizing patterns and are able to make predictions.
After a few years of experience they know when they see a guy dressed
poorly with weak body language that he is probably a geek with a boring,
predictable life and is not so good in bed. Of course if a guy like that ap-
proaches her, she is going to brush him off because she doesn’t need to talk
with him; she already knows everything about him. It’s really not hard to
recognize an insecure geek in a club.
Whatever this guy says to a hot girl, even if it is funny, cocky, interesting, she
is not going to believe it because she can see his legs are shaking, his hands
are wet and he doesn’t know how to dress. The nonverbal communication
must be congruent to what’s being said…it’s really hard to fake girls out on
anything. A few girls once told me that they can even recognize how good a
guy is in bed just be the way he walks. Subcommunications matter.
Body Language and Non-Verbal Cues
S
o how do we subcommunicate the right things? Through proper use of
body language and non-verbal cues. As I mentioned, facial expressions,
voice intonation, speed of speech, how you walk, the way you carry yourself
through the world, making eye contact, how fast you move, and even our
breathing communicate attributes to the people around you.
Start watching people closely as you go about your daily life. At work, in the
store, at the club; just sit back and observe what people are doing with their
bodies and guess what they are feeling. You can see when somebody is sad,
happy, excited, honest, or angry -- even when they are trying not to reveal
their emotions.
Look at somebody who rapidly moves his foot up and down and won’t look
people in the eyes. He is insecure and expressing nervous energy. Some-
body who is hunched over with her feet together is subconsciously trying
to not be noticed. A person who walks tall and relaxed, with his chest out
and head high is happy and comfortable. Watch people’s smiles. Some are
happy and genuine, others are fake and nervous.
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We can fi nd a wealth of information about people by their body language. In
terms of seduction, we learn to read what females are feeling on a deeper
level. A woman will do the exact same to you… tenfold. Their process of
screening by looks and body language is a self-defense mechanism. She
really doesn’t want to hook up with some low self-esteem loser. So, what
exactly are the non-verbal cues that women look for?
First, let me ask you who the really confi dent guys in our society are; the
ones with an attitude larger then life? Rock stars, CEOs, actors, artists, doc-
tors, politicians, eccentric millionaires, etc.
Take a look at how they walk, how they sit, how they speak, and you’ll notice
something really interesting. They are totally calm, like they control TIME.
They are not in hurry. The way they move and how they speak completely
radiates super-confi dence. They own the world they live in. No woman con-
trols how they feel and what their self worth is.
This is an aspect of body language not often noticed by many men… Emo-
tional projection. The emotion or feeling you are projecting when you ap-
proach a girl is the greatest factor that will determine the success or failure
of the approach. If you were to imagine yourself playing a character, what
emotions are you putting out to her? Seductive? Lusty? Cool? Are you pro-
jecting something positive and congruent or are you projecting emotions
that make you look like a nervous schoolboy?
If you project negative emotions on the approach, they will unconsciously re-
spond negatively. But if you project positive emotions, even if it feels forced
at fi rst, the dramatic results will surprise you. Positivity is contagious.
Most men have weak APOLOGETIC APPROACHES. If you are concentrating
on your words and approach girls with sweaty palms, a nervous voice and
bad body language, you will fail like the nice guys who came before you.
This is the same anchor has been set in her mind, triggered by weak ap-
proaches, over and over every night by all the other losers! She will reject
you automatically as soon as she sees the signs. You must control what you
are projecting emotionally with your facial expressions and body language.
I am going to give you very specifi c pointers in a moment, but more im-
portantly you need to understand the underlying principles of good body
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language. Emotional projection is the most important aspect of body
language.
•
•
You are not rushed.
•
•
You own the space around you…and the rest of the world for that matter.
•
•
You are happy with where and who you are.
Always keep these emotional principles in mind and make sure you move
slower, be cooler and own your space.
Here are some common ways guys violate this when trying to pick up a girl
and why:
•
•
Talking too fast (Being nervous)
•
•
Talking too much (Trying to impress her)
•
•
Struggling for what to say next (Not enough practice and not relaxed
enough to let the mind improvise)
•
•
Drinking too much (To become comfortable)
•
•
Asking too many questions (Trying to create rapport too soon, but she
doesn’t want your rapport unless you have attracted her fi rst)
•
•
Closed defensive body language; hands connected, feet too close, shoul-
ders down. (Trying to protect yourself)
•
•
Fidgeting – shuffl ing, playing with your drink, etc… (Unable to contain
nervous energy)
•
•
Leaning in – (trying to hard to hold their attention and focus) The more
you lean in, the more they will back away. If you lean back and
look relaxed, they will begin to lean in to you unconsciously be-
cause you are confi dently controlling the interaction and not trying
hard to build rapport.
Does any of this radiate confi dence? Of course not…every action here proj-
ects emotional INSECURITY!!
Here is what you should do:
•
•
Keep your hands out of your pockets.
•
•
Stand with your feet wider apart.
•
•
Never look down when you walk, look above the horizon
•
•
Stand with your chest pushed outwards
•
•
Keep your shoulders relaxed and back
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••
Walk confi dently and slowly with bigger steps
•
•
Take up lots of space, no matter where you are
•
•
Always lean back onto whatever is available and get comfortable
•
•
Touch people when you talk with them (non-sexual). It shows that you
are comfortable and is a subtle indicator of dominance. (And later
she is going to be used to your touch so it won’t be weird to hold
hands and kiss.)
•
•
Your body language and speech should be congruent. For instance, mov-
ing with confi dence is good, but it looks incongruent if you talk
fast and nervous at the same time.
You should work to be change your Inner Game and lifestyle to genuinely
increase your confi dence and happiness so that you begin to project these
emotions naturally. Until then, follow the rules above and you’ll fi nd that you
will begin projecting…and as a result, feeling, more confi dence right away.
The Approach
M
ost guys want to learn pickup so they can learn to approach girls confi -
dently and get better results at it. They are terrifi ed of opening and feel
like they don’t know what to do. This is bullshit. Once you have learned to
think about approaching in the right frame, it is probably the easiest part of
the pickup. Don’t give a lot of weight to the approach.
There is no perfect line or style of opener that is the best. Done with the
right attitude and following a few simple principles, every set will open easily
no matter what you say. Then the real work of seduction begins.
On our workshops, we give guys a random word out of which they have to
improvise an opener and open a set in the fi eld. And guess what… it works
just as good as any of the famous “canned openers” that guys use. As long
as their subcommunications are attractive and don’t convey neediness, girls
will respond to just about anything you say to them. They are screening you
for subcommunicated qualities, not what stupid line you are using.
So what should you say?
Whatever you want… Get that drilled into your head.
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Direct openers like “You are beautiful and I want to get to know you,” or,
“You are hot. You should talk to me,” work.
Opinion openers work like, “Hey, guys I need to get my fi ve year old niece a
birthday present, what should I get her?” work.
I’ve seen a student open with, “My best friend just died. How long do I have
to wait before I sleep with his girlfriend,” and have it work. The girls re-
sponded and laughed because the guy had a sly smile on his face and wasn’t
the least bit phased by doing it. The key is to be unapologetic, confi dent and
charming.
If they are positive or neutral, continue into your story as planned. If they
shit test you, simply laugh, pat her on the back, act like you are amused by
it and then proceed into your story. Their reaction is irrelevant and their shit
tests don’t affect you.
Don’t rush in like you are worried about using up their time. This will guar-
antee that you are not welcome to stay. If you rush the opener, they will give
you a quick answer and rush you back out. Own the space and the conversa-
tion. Take the time to be dominant.
Once you are into the conversation and telling a story, during the fi rst 10
minutes of conversation you must talk 80% of the time. Your job in fi rst 10
minutes is to get them comfortable and relaxed around you. Don’t expect a
girl to just open up completely to a total stranger. Sometimes it happens,
but they usually need some time to size you up and get comfortable with you
being there. In the fi rst 5-10 minutes, they won’t talk too much. Mostly they
will answer your questions and listen.
Then, you will see that as they get more relaxed they will start opening up
more and more. And they will talk more. Don’t try to keep the conversation
going by just asking lot of questions. It doesn’t work. Instead occasionally
ask a question to set yourself up to tell stories.
That is the model we follow. Ask a question – Tell a story. Your questions
at this point are to set yourself up for the next story rather than to really
learn anything about her. We are still in attraction here. The objective is to
convey attractive attributes and the right alpha energy. We will get to know
her better later, once we move into rapport.
APPROACH TIMELINE
The basic timeline of the approach consists of three parts – getting
their attention, delivering the opener and leaning back to continue the
conversation.
Getting Their Attention: Be dominant, but not aggressive. In the
beginning of your development as a seducer, be more forward than you
feel comfortable with. You will learn that it usually doesn’t violate so-
cial norms and is more effective than what you are comfortable doing.
There is a point where you can go too far into the aggressive zone, but
that is usually much farther than you think and the only way to learn
where the line is will be to experiment. Be bold. You can always pull
back later.
Your voice should be loud and dominant. Don’t worry about personal
space. The concept of personal space is subjective. They will generally
be comfortable with you touching them and stepping into close proxim-
ity if you are truly confi dent doing it. Don’t be afraid to tap them on
the shoulder, turn them around with your hands or move them around
like pawns. Doing this is not an issue if you don’t express apprehension
about doing it. If they feel like something exciting is going to happen by
reading your powerful subcommunications, they won’t even notice that
you are moving them because they will be anticipating what is coming
next.
Deliver Opener, Lean Back and Continue Conversation
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If they are positive or neutral, continue into your story as planned. If they
shit test you, simply laugh, pat her on the back, act like you are amused by
it and then proceed into your story. Their reaction is irrelevant and their shit
tests don’t affect you.
Don’t rush in like you are worried about using up their time. This will guar-
antee that you are not welcome to stay. If you rush the opener, they will give
you a quick answer and rush you back out. Own the space and the conversa-
tion. Take the time to be dominant.
Once you are into the conversation and telling a story, during the fi rst 10
minutes of conversation you must talk 80% of the time. Your job in fi rst 10
minutes is to get them comfortable and relaxed around you. Don’t expect a
girl to just open up completely to a total stranger. Sometimes it happens,
but they usually need some time to size you up and get comfortable with you
being there. In the fi rst 5-10 minutes, they won’t talk too much. Mostly they
will answer your questions and listen.
Then, you will see that as they get more relaxed they will start opening up
more and more. And they will talk more. Don’t try to keep the conversation
going by just asking lot of questions. It doesn’t work. Instead occasionally
ask a question to set yourself up to tell stories.
That is the model we follow. Ask a question – Tell a story. Your questions
at this point are to set yourself up for the next story rather than to really
learn anything about her. We are still in attraction here. The objective is to
convey attractive attributes and the right alpha energy. We will get to know
her better later, once we move into rapport.
Say whatever opener you plan to use and listen to their response. What-
ever they say doesn’t matter. If they are positive, neutral or shit test
you, you will do essentially the same thing. Open, listen and then tell a
story based on your opener while settling into a comfortable position. If
they are sitting, grab a chair and sit. If they are at the bar, lean against
the bar. If they are standing in the open, lean back and settle into a
confi dent stance.
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Approach Anxiety Is a
Myth
“A
pproach anxiety” as it is called,
is not really “anxiety” at all.
It is an emotion that has been per-
verted by society bullshit. When
you see a beautiful woman you
feel something strong, right? And
the hotter she is, the stronger the
emotion is. You want deeply from
the core of your being to approach
the woman to potentially mate with
her.
Do you think cavemen perceived
this emotion as fear? No, they inter-
preted it as desire and motivation.
But today, because of the repres-
sive nature of modern society we
are told to keep this emotion sup-
pressed and we become afraid of it.
We are told that it is “wrong”. This
is how society keeps us in check. If
you had two companies, one where
all the guys got laid all the time and
one where the guys never got laid,
which would be more productive?
Guys who don’t get laid are a lot
more motivated to work hard, buy
more things and follow society’s
bullshit than a guy who is complete-
ly satisfi ed and gets laid like a rock
star.
Do not buy into society’s message
that you shouldn’t feel these strong
Post from the
Carpe Diem Forum on
Badboylifestyle.com.
Skrpride:
...i just can’t seem to get my ass out
there and do it because i’ve linked so
much pain to sarging, when i think of
going out i feel pain and when i know
i have excellent opportunity to talk to a
girl i can’t do it because of pain, i feel
anxiety and frustration... with negative
beliefs in my head that the set wont go
anywhere.
i’m looking for some advice / guidance
from you guys especially badboy, how
do i get out of this pain and just do it.
I know logically i must start again but i
just can’t seem to do it, where should i
start with this sarging? i’m looking for
words of support from you guys...
BadBoy:
If you think that’s the biggest Emotion
you feel (pain when approching), go
jump from an Airplane with a Para-
chute and see how it feels for real.
After you experience such a wave of
emotions, and you conquer it, this will
be nothing.
what you must do is : do it no matter
what.
will some stupid molecules in your body
stop you from getting your life goals??
those stupid tiny fear molecules??
don’t behave like a girl, (relying so
much on emotions) and start behaving
like a MAN.
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emotions and act on them. They
are there to motivate you and help
you get the girl. Do not fear them.
They are rooted naturally in who
you are as a man and should be re-
spected.
That is why we advocate Direct ap-
proach; it is congruent with this
naturally occurring energy and
rooted in what you are really feel-
ing. Since it comes from a genuine,
honest place while at the same time
communicating alpha qualities, it is
a very coordinated and natural way to align your inner qualities and desires
with your external technique.
Even if you opt to open with an opinion opener, try going direct early in the
set. Open, tell a story about your question and then say, “Actually, that
question is bullshit. I think you are fucking adorable and I wanted to talk
to you.” It’s the truth isn’t it? And if you are confi dent, interesting and
unapologetic about it, she will appreciate it. You are also way ahead of the
hours of nonsense you’d have to go through pretending to be not interested
and playing games.
Don’t be afraid of your emotions towards hot women and don’t be afraid to
be direct about it… it works the best.
Energy Levels
A
lways calibrate your energy when you approach a girl. Your energy should
be 15-20% higher then hers or her groups is. Being higher energy makes
you look more dominant, making it harder for them to ignore you. Never be
lower energy than they are in fi rst 2 minutes or they will blow you off like
there is no tomorrow. Low energy approaches suck the life out of a girl and
make her want to get away from you and back to where it is fun.
No one wants to be around people with low energy who suck energy out of
them. Especially girls. They are used to receiving all the energy in their
If you don’t fight with this, you will
feel it for rest of your life. There is
only one way to solve this.
Declare a WAR to your stupid emo-
tions!
Whenever you feel pain, that means
YOU MUST do it.
From now on... Pain = I am gonna do
it !!
BB
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interactions and being passive in the pre-sex phases. Make sure you are at
least 20% higher than the group to hold their attention.
Having high energy not only captures attention also creates some attraction.
This is because it conveys that the person is positive and confi dent but also
because it subtly conveys that the person may be good in bed. Good lovers
aren’t slow, dull and boring.
Of course you can’t stay high energy forever. After you get their attention
and create some attraction you can lower your energy and go for rapport. If
you have problem with controlling your energy, I strongly suggest you learn
to play a sport or study martial arts or yoga to learn how to control energy.
Try different things in the beginning. Approach very high energy, then try it
lower, just above theirs, and see where you get the best reactions. It is dif-
ferent depending on your personality but in general if you cannot raise and
control your energy, you will have lot of problems controlling your interac-
tions and conveying the personality traits that will trigger attraction.
I notice that a lot of guys have the same, fl at energy levels no matter what
emotional state they are in; happy, angry, sad, excited, etc. Regardless
of what they are feeling, they have the same fl at tone, pitch, movements,
speed, etc. That’s not good. You must learn to be more expressive and
to use your body to communicate ideas and emotions. Get comfortable in
your body and in expressing things. Start playing sports, doing martial arts,
yoga, take a voice or acting class. If you don’t know how to control your own
emotions and reactions, how are you going to be able to control the emo-
tions of people around you?
The Go First Principle
A
really important and powerful principle in seduction that I love to use
is the Go First Principle. It comes from the hypnosis fi eld. Basically, it
says that easiest way to push somebody into some specifi c emotional state
is to go into that state yourself and then other person will pick up on it and
unconsciously follow you.
We see it all the time in daily life. When we hang around people we begin to
share their emotions. That’s why people like to be around fun lively people
and stay away from depressed boring ones. Emotions can be contagious and
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we want to feel positive feelings. We can use this to our advantage. In gen-
eral the Go First Principle happens on one condition. That your emotion is
stronger than the other person’s… The stronger emotion always wins.
Example: Imagine a guy comes home and sees his whole family crying.
Somebody died in their family. No matter what his emotional state is at that
moment, he’s immediately going to pick it up and start feeling sad.
Another example: You are kind of depressed about something. You go to
visit your friend and as you open the door he starts hugging you and jumping
up and down. He won the lottery. You don’t even know why but somehow,
you start jumping with him and give him high-fi ves. You can’t help but to
feel joy.
Situation three as it applies to seduction: A guy goes on a fi rst date with
beautiful young girl. They sit next to each other. He feels really nervous and
awkward because she is so beautiful. How does she feel after 5 minutes
around him? Nervous and awkward also. She doesn’t know why but she
simply feels nervous around him. So she goes to bathroom and goes home.
In order to prevent this kind of situation you must learn to control your emo-
tions. And trust me, if you cannot control yourself and your emotions there
is no way you’ll be able to control anybody around you.
Whenever you approach a girl, she is going to be little bit scared, so it’s your
job to make her feel relaxed. How to do it? You must be relaxed, FIRST.
People around you will feel more relaxed if you are relaxed.
Last situation: A guy goes on a fi rst date with beautiful young girl. He is re-
laxed and calm. She feels calm and relaxed and thinks to herself that it feels
like they’ve known each other for a while. His body language is comfortable
and laid back. He smiles and cracks jokes. She does the same. He leads
the conversation to intimate topics about their feelings and dreams. By him
sharing fi rst, she feels comfortable doing the same. He takes her hand and
kisses her. She eagerly responds…
By confi dently going fi rst and leading the interaction into relaxation, comfort,
intimacy and sexuality, we make it easy for her to follow us there. Choose
the emotional path you want the interaction to follow and move in that direc-
tion.
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Improvising
G
etting good at improvising stories and responses to what girls say is
essential to being interesting and being able to control your sets. We
cover this extensively in our workshops and spend a lot of time working on
exercises that help guys to learn to improvise in pickup situations learn how
to convey the right qualities without “canned routines”.
The key to learning to improvise well is being able to free up your mind and
trust that what you say will be good. You don’t need routines and made up
bullshit to keep a girl’s attention. Everything you need is already in your
head. You just need to learn to get out of the way and let it fl ow.
Grab a book. Open it to a random page and pick a random word. Now walk
to your kitchen table and role-play that word as an opener and launch into
a story as if there are girls there. Talk for 1 continuous minute. Start doing
this 10 times per day. Really do it – every day. Ten times. Random opener,
random story. Don’t worry if it’s outrageous or even makes sense. As you
practice, you will get better at churning out stories that are more compre-
hensible and entertaining.
Start doing this with strangers. Then at the bars with girls. Don’t worry if
what you say is silly at fi rst. Smile slyly and make it clear that you are jok-
ing, then change the subject to something else. You will fi nd that girls don’t
really care what you say as long as you are confi dent and don’t bore them.
Anything goes if it’s interesting -- and spontaneity is interesting.
Once you have freed your mind up and made it more fl exible, you need to
add the layer of being able to convey attractive qualities while improvising.
Start paying attention the kinds of stories that you tell. Steer them towards
things that hit the Attraction switches covered above. Start recognizing the
boring patterns of thought you keep going back to for safety and stay away
from them. Learn to be spontaneous and to trust that whatever you say is
exactly the right thing.
The next level is learning to use your body to subcommunicate while im-
provising. What you say really won’t matter if your subcommunications
are strong and you simultaneously get physically comfortable with her. The
words and stories are simply to distract her logical mind while you appeal to
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her on an emotional, instinctual level with your non-verbal communications
and physical escalation.
With practice (do it!) you will master this and become a great improvisa-
tional conversationalist. One last overarching rule is to pay attention to
emotional states. Keep it positive and fun. Have fun with improvising.
It allows you complete freedom and endless possibilities and is probably one
of the funnest parts of the Game. Enjoy it.
Contrast
H
aving a contrast inside your personality will improve your success with
women. In my younger days, the only thing I tried to convey was that I
was a Badboy type of guy and that mostly attracted party chicks who wanted
thrills and good sex. At the same time, a lot of girls used to run away from
me because it was written all over my face that I just wanted sex and was
probably trouble. The good girls were afraid of me.
So, I learned to add a new level to my game. I added an emotional level to
my personality, a more romantic side of myself. I think I always had this
part, but I just never let people to see it. I didn’t think it would help me and
that it would make me look weak. But I was wrong. That part got me the
other more emotional types of women.
Soon, I was able to attract any type of girl I wanted. Party chicks were at-
tracted to me because of the confi dence and Badboy image and then, once
Practice
:
Open a book and pick a random word. Role play by yourself and use that word to
make up an opener and tell a 1 minute story. Do not stop talking. Do not ask a ques-
tion that requires an answer. Place this scenario to different logistical situations.
Pretend the girls are seated, standing, moving, etc.
When you have become good at being spontaneous, start paying attention to finding
ways to insert the attractive qualities discussed earlier into these stories. Do it 10
times a day. It’s only ten minutes out of your life and you will become a much better
player in a short time if you put in the effort.
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I could talk about romantic things, feelings and create genuine rapport, the
emotional chicks would go crazy because I was exactly type of guy who they
wanted for a relationship.
Most guys have just have one side and that is usually the soft side. If that
applies to you, then you will need to work to develop the other more ag-
gressive, dominant side. If you are already a Badboy, you will need to learn
to talk to women about feelings, and emotions. Having a contrast is a very
powerful thing that makes women want to fi gure you out. They cannot un-
derstand how somebody can be such a badass and at the same time so ro-
mantic because they rarely fi nd both qualities in one man.
Indicators of Interest
L
et’s talk a little bit about indicators of interest and how to recognize when
a girl is interested into you.
Many guys have trouble recognizing IOIs from the girls they talk to. They
expect that a girl will express her interest verbally. They expect a girl will
say, “I like you, lets go to bed,” or something like that. Now, as we have
discussed, girls are not like that. If they really want to tell you they like
you they will subcommunicate it to you non-verbally and expect you to be
socially aware enough to pick up on it.
And often, women are not even aware early in an interaction of the non-ver-
bal messages and indicators of interest that they are sending. These early
signals come mostly from the subconscious when their primal emotions are
telling them they are attracted to you. They may not even have had a logical
thought, “I like this guy,” yet. So when you recognize some of those signals
you can be pretty sure that the girl is starting to feel something for you and
that you are on the right track.
Here are the most common IOIs:
When girl is interested into you, she is going to ask you questions in order
to get to know you better and move into rapport. “How old are you? What’s
your name? Where are you from?” and similar questions are all IOIs.
When a girl is attracted, she is going to lean towards you so she can be closer
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to you and she will fi nd reasons to touch you. It may be just an “accidental
bump” or she may put a hand on your arm or shoulder. Subconsciously she
is searching for physical contact. Touching is the biggest and most obvious
IOI.
When you are talking and something interrupts your story, she is going to
ask you to continue with your story. That means, she is really interested
into who you are and what you have to say. She wants to get to know you.
When girls aren’t interested they have a short attention span for stories and
conversational threads.
Playing with her hair, maintaining strong eye-contact and smiling are all
IOIs. They will sometimes fi x their hair, make up and lipstick right in front of
you just to look more beautiful so they can attract you. They may not even
realize how obvious it is. All these things come from the subconscious so
they don’t even think about.
They will introduce you to their friends. Girls care a lot about what their
friends think of them and the men they choose. She will only introduce you
to them if she likes you. Watch how they communicate non-verbally to each
other about you. They will give their approval or disapproval completely
non-verbally.
If you talk to a big group of girls and the group leaves you alone with the tar-
get, that is a big indicator that they like you. They want you to get together.
Girls do this kind of stuff to each other all the time.
Picking up on these small clues is an art. With time and experience being
around more women you’ll start to recognize these things naturally.
When you start spotting IOIs, go for rapport. If you are new to this game
wait for three different IOIs before transitioning. This way you can be sure
that you don’t try for rapport too early and that she is defi nitely attracted to
you.
Shit Tests
W
hen you talk to a girl, you are going to communicate things to her and
she will sometimes try to test you to see if you truly are who you say
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you are. Sometimes they will be diffi cult in how they do this. They are test-
ing your frame. They are making sure that you are legit, that you are con-
gruent and that you are not weak. Shit tests are often in reality, a form of
IOI. Sometimes they will shit test you from the moment you approach. This
is to weed out the weak guys who buckle under pressure.
As mentioned earlier, when girls shit test you right on the open, you either
simply ignore it or act amused. If a girls tells me to “Fuck off” or something
similar, I will often smile, pat her on the
back and say, “Shhhh…I’m still talking
to you darling,” and just jump into my
story as planned. As long as you don’t
seem reactive, hurt or angry you can
easily plow through an early shit test.
Often, if you steer it into the lightheart-
ed direction and make it funny, they will
start to laugh as well. It’s the Go First
Principle in action again.
Later in the set, when you get these
tests, you must understand that when
a girl is attracted to you she must check
the territory so she doesn’t get hurt.
Don’t think that she is trying to brush
you off when she asks you, “Where is
your girlfriend?” or “Do you do this to
all the girls?”
Now, you may wonder how to answer
these questions. There are two ways.
One, just tell her what she wants to
hear. Plain and simple.
If she asks you, “Where is your girl-
friend?” she probably wants to hear
that you don’t have one, so tell her, “I
am still searching for my soul-mate.”
Or two, you can use it as an opportunity to be funny and non-reactive. Make
a sarcastic joke and change topics. Say the thing that would be the absolute
Here are some common ques-
tions that you will hear:
•
• “How old are you?”
Translation: “I hope you are
around my age, if not a little
bit older.”
•
• “Are you here alone?”
Translation: “Do you have
friends, or re you some crazy
guy who goes out alone to pick
up chicks?”
•
• “Where is your girlfriend?”
Translation: “Are you avaiable?
Are you single?”
•
• “Are U a player?”
Translation: “Will you stay with
me after we sleep together, or
you will dump me?”
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worst answer. In this scenario, “Which one?” would be a good answer. Even-
tually, you will need to be more genuine, though. Never ending sarcasm
makes girls suspicious and keeps you from making a real connection.
Sometimes when you give a genuine answer they will bust on you for it, like,
“So how many soul mates do you have right now?’’ or something like that.
This is another test of your frame.
Your attitude should be, I am really searching for my soul mate and I never
found her, but I am still searching. If you are genuine and congruent with
this it will land powerfully and start to create the contrast to your player im-
age. It will fl ip the “He is romantic,” switch and help you get attraction.
Rapport
W
e’ve talked about the importance of developing Rapport at the right
time, but what is it? This may sound strange but there really is no such
thing as Rapport. It is just a word we use to describe a state shared between
two people where a number of different elements converge to create a con-
nection. When people can “sense” if the like someone, calling them “cool”,
saying that they “connected” or that they have a “good vibe” with someone,
they are in rapport. People experience rapport to some degree every day. It
isn’t a new skill or something that you learn formally. You already somewhat
know how to create and spot rapport… The objective now is to begin to un-
derstand how we create rapport so that we can do it at will and to a massive
degree.
While Attraction is a physical sensation felt in the body, Rapport is written
on the logical side of the brain and can last forever. It is not some fl eeting
emotion like Attraction. It is permanent. Look at the friendships you’ve built
in your life through rapport; they last for a long, long time unless something
dramatic causes them to end.
A number of things can contribute to the development of rapport but the
main elements are: Comfort, Trust and Connection.
When you have all three of these, you are well into rapport.
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Comfort
C
omfort is mainly built through non-verbal means. You develop comfort
by making the girl comfortable. Simple concept but body language is
crucial here. Make sure you are in a comfortable position that you can stay
in for a while. Make sure she is physically comfortable as well. If either of
you aren’t, move her close by to where you are or take her hand and lead
her somewhere else where she you can be comfortable and talk for a while.
Early in the interaction, this is ideally within view of her friends so you aren’t
creating a new source of discomfort through premature isolation.
Then relax. The whole point of rapport is to feel relaxed and familiar around
each other. Don’t drink caffeine. Don’t look around like you just escaped
from jail. Act like you’re in the most comfortable place on Earth with a close
friend. Create a place like that in your imagination and literally picture your-
self there.
Emotional comfort is created by the absence of awkwardness or
pressure. Don’t fumble around and get nervous. Speak slowly, be cool and
more real. You can lower your energy level and vocal volume here. Act like
you two are friends and have known each other for a while. The Go First
Principle goes a long way here. The more comfortable you feel in the situ-
ation, the less she can feel awkward and uncomfortable. Even if she seems
that way initially, it will wear off if you maintain the “I’m Comfortable” frame
and don’t follow her lead into the frame that things are awkward. You should
maintain this comfortable familiarity frame with just about everyone you
meet. The non-verbal subtext of familiarity and comfort is one of the most
powerful rapport builders there is.
Also, don’t start pushing her sexually until you are getting feedback that she
is comfortable. Watch her body language and her unconscious communica-
tions. Then gently throw things out there like high fi ves, playful shoves and
hugs to get her used to being physical with you. When she is responding
comfortably and enthusiastically to physical contact you can begin to get
more sexual with her.
For access to more FREE resources
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Trust
T
rust is partially a product of comfort, time spent together and accumu-
lated emotional commitments. If you begin to share things with her that
you wouldn’t (supposedly) share with anyone, she will begin to follow your
lead and make an emotional commitment to you by telling you things of
equal intimacy.
By each of you making this kind of commitment, you create a subtext that
there is genuine trust between you. Then, the more time you spend together
and the more things you share, the deeper the level of trust.
This should be obvious, but avoid saying anything that portrays you as a
liar or someone who plays with people’s emotions. This will immediately
kill whatever trust you have developed. Your communications should seem
honest and sincere and portray you in a trustworthy light. Telling a story
about a time you took a moral stand or stuck by one of your friends in a time
of hardship can go a long way here.
Connection
C
onnection is the fi nal and most important aspect of rapport. This is what
makes her wake up in the morning and think that fate brought you to-
gether. It’s a combination of comfort, trust, understanding, familiarity, simi-
larities and a feeling that things are just “in sync”.
Connection allows her to logically understand why she has these
feelings.
She has to FEEL you two are soul mates, like she knows you forever. When it
happens, you should hear things like, ‘’Oh my God I don’t know why I’m tell-
ing you this. I don’t even know you.’’ Why? She FEELS she knows you like
her best friend, but her logical brain supplies her with the information ‘’You
don’t know this guy!” She can then shut down this doubt by looking at
all the evidence that has accumulated in the conversation; the com-
fort, trust, understanding, familiarity, similarities, etc., and logically justify
the feeling of attraction she has towards you. Once you have done this, your
work is mostly done. It’s just a matter of getting her alone and in bed.
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Attraction is great, necessary and fun but rapport gets you the girl.
To develop a real connection you must lead the conversation through
Wide and Deep levels.
Wide means you cover a wide range of topics, while Deep means that you go
deeply into each topic, beyond the superfi cial, and talk on a genuine emo-
tional level.
Wide Rapport
T
opics you can cover to make sure you are going wide are; human nature,
relationships, music, hobbies, travel, childhood, pets, nightlife, and any-
thing else you might have in common.
Avoid boring and logical topics like work, school, politics, etc... I hate to talk
about her job because what she does may not perfectly fi t her as a person.
Sometimes there is no connection at all and just talking about it will turn her
off.
To make this easy, go through the following structure:
Open a Topic - Ask a big question to start conversation. “So what do you do
for fun?”
Find Out More Details - Based on her answer, you ask a sub question to get
more details. “How long have you skied?”
Tell a Story - Now, it’s time to tell a story. This is where your improvisational
skills will come in handy. It may or may not be a true story, but the impor-
tant thing is to keep the ball rolling. “I’ve been skiing once and it seems like
skiing is easy… It’s stopping that’s the hard part. I could go like 100 miles
per hour down the slopes but then at the bottom I’d have to wipe out or hit
a tree to stop. I think they should call it “stopping” instead since that’s the
hard part.”
It’s important to tell a story early, because otherwise if you keep asking
questions, you end up in Interview Mode. And Interview Mode never leads
to sex.
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You can’t wait for her to open up with a story, so you do it fi rst. What hap-
pens next is that she is going to tell a story about something that relates
to your story, and then you tell a story that relates to her story, and that’s
where the ping-ponging of stories starts. It’s what we call Story Exchange.
It happens naturally between people who like each other. Whenever you got
laid or made a new friend there was this Story Exchange that got rolling.
Now that you are aware of it, learn to instigate it in every conversation by
following this structure and knowing when to take control with a story.
Also, when you tell a story, make sure you say some personal things about
yourself, directly or indirectly, so that you subtly give her permission to re-
veal something about herself as well. She will open up as much you allow
her, which is generally as much you open up.
Take it where you want it to go. She will never feel comfortable talking about
oral sex if you are talking about Formula 1 Racing the whole time. Go fi rst.
After you go deeper into the topic (see below), do not let the topic dry out by
overdoing it. Instead, change the topic by simply saying, “Anyway…”
“Anyway…I like punk rock. What kind of music do you listen to?”
“Anyway” is very good transitioning tool. Every language has a word to fulfi ll
this purpose. “So” is also good connection word.
“So… if you could wake up anywhere on the planet tomorrow morning, where
would it be?”
Also, make sure the “opening topic” questions are not boring. Instead of
asking logical, boring questions she’s heard a million times, think of how to
make an ordinary question interesting.
Rapport Questions
For example:
You want to find out her hobbies:
A boring question would be: “So what are your hobbies?”
More interesting would be the above: “What do you do for fun?”
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Be creative, improvise and control where the conversation goes. If it goes
somewhere boring or that won’t help you, steer it back to something help-
ful.
Deep Rapport
T
he way to utilize Deep rapport is to use emotional states, yours and hers,
to amplify the power of the connection. In general we want to steer her
emotions in a positive direction which she will then associate with being
around you. You = good feelings.
Here are a few rules for accomplishing this:
1) Always talk about positive things. Make being around you an uplifting,
fun experience, not a drag. Portray yourself, your life and others in a posi-
tive light.
2) Share real emotions with her. Avoid everyday chit-chat. Weather,
school, job, newspapers, movies, etc., are not things that will build real
rapport with a girl. Talk intimately about yourself, how you fell in love fi rst
time when you were fi ve years old, tell her what you love to do and what
you believe about the world. Then ask her related questions to get her to
do the same.
Sometimes I will talk about negative emotions in order to let her experience
a wide range of emotions with me while we are in rapport. A story that
means something; like how you had a rabbit as a child and when he died
Even better: “If you have totally free day with no obligations, what would you
do?”
You want to talk about pets:
“You look like a cat person. How many do you have?”
“I have twenty-five dogs. I hope you like dogs.”
Or childhood:
“You were a brat growing up, weren’t you?”
“Were you a mommy’s-girl or a daddy’s-girl growing up?”
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you learned what loss was, can be powerful if it’s real to you... It shows
vulnerability and sensitivity. This is okay in small doses. A lot of guys are
afraid of feeling or displaying emotions around girls. We stifl e ourselves
to look good or we tell ourselves that we aren’t good at expressing them.
This will hurt your Game. The best players take girls on a full emotional
roller coaster.
The wider the range of emotions you display and share with her, the more
she will invest in you and the deeper the rapport will be. Women enjoy
emotions. They love feeling them… especially with men, since it is rare.
Your value in her eyes will increase dramatically and she will become liter-
ally addicted to you if you can giver her this roller coaster of emotions since
you are making her see and feel the world in a different way. Emotions are
a form of natural drugs.
3) Use your facial expressions and vocal tonality to convey emotions in a
powerful way. Again, this is not something that you have to learn from
scratch. You have all the tools already in you. You just need to start ac-
tivating them. Be more aware of how you present things physically when
you talk and be more conscious of the emotions you are conveying. Often,
guys just get hung up on the words… the logical component of the con-
versation. Pay attention to what you’re communicating emotionally and
start amplifying it. In the beginning, often what feels too far is still not far
enough.
“But how do I convey a particular emotion?” Write 10 basic emotions down,
like fun, sadness, love, fear, etc, and do the improvisation exercise from
earlier. This time, tell the story to a mirror and pick an emotion as well as a
random word to base your improvisation on. Pay attention to how expres-
sive and genuine you are. Experiment with different facial expressions, vo-
cal ranges and movements to sharpen your emotional communication skills
to a razor. Many actors do this to perfect their performances.
Then, get in fi eld and start using stories with emotional components and try
to lead the listener into your state. Watch if their state changes and if they
begin to feel the emotion that you conveyed in the story.
How do you know when you’ve “got it”? Easy…when you tell a joke, or a
sad story or a love story or and you are totally invested and totally con-
gruent and the message lands strongly on the listener. When people start
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following you into whatever emotional state you want them to, you have
mastered this. Girls want to feel these strong emotions and being able to
do this will get you laid.
4) Become a good listener. Listen closely when she is sharing something.
Leave comments aside. Don’t interrupt with, ‘’That’s good!’’, ‘’That’s funny’’,
‘’Oh, that’s so bad for you’’. Just listen. Don’t criticize or judge anything
she says.
Then, just let her know that you understand. It is important to women that
they be understood because most men don’t understand her. Just describ-
ing the emotional state she experienced can go a long way. “Wow, you
must have felt really proud,” or, “That must have been very hard for you.”
Remember, she thinks in emotions.
This leads to her feeling like you really GET her. If we do this repeatedly
she will feel there is a real connection and that there is no other girl that
has this kind of connection with you. This sensation is your goal; she must
feel singular, precious, understood, with you as the special Prince of her
dreams.
To be prepared, it’s good to have a list of emotions and
topics in your head that you want her to experience.
With practice you will develop a standard array of top-
ics/states that work best with the largest number of
girls. Practice and experience help you learn how to
modify this list to fi t the particular girl in front of you –
i.e. you will know when to talk more about wild things
with party chicks, destiny and soul mate stuff with new
age chicks, etc.
Be mindful that you don’t seem like you are trying hard
to fi nd common things between you. Don’t say things
like, “Me too!” Instead say, “Yes, that’s good, but you
know what I like even better…,” or even disagree with
her on occasion. Don’t overdo it and get into argu-
ments over things like politics or religion, but if you
disagree it’s okay to tease her or just playfully tell her she’s wrong about
something and move on. It shows you aren’t scrambling to build Rapport
Rapport Topics
Human Nature
Relationships
Music
Hobbies
Travel
Childhood
Pets
Nightlife
Movies
Gossip
Family
Outlook on Life
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with her and you think for yourself.
Treat rapport like you’re just learning about her and sharing your thoughts.
If you seem like you are trying hard to manufacture a connection, it removes
you from the role of chooser. There should be an underlying subtext in Rap-
port that you are screening her to see if she meets your standards, and that
the deeper you get, she is meeting those standards, which you will reward
her for.
Reward her with deeper intimacy and physical contact. Don’t wait too long
to get physical. Use the growing connection between you as a reason to
make a move. You must not become just an interesting conversation. A
physical move (hand hold, kiss, hug) should happen within fi fteen minutes
to two hours, and only in special situations longer than that. If you wait too
long without touching, holding hands or kissing there is the danger of losing
attraction and becoming stuck in the friend category.
The Cube and palm reading techniques can work if used in the right place at
the right time by a skilled person. I prefer something else though –- I use
experience and intuition to simply explain how she feels or what she thinks
or why she behaved in a certain way in a situation. You basically just use
the information she gives you and describe how she must have felt, what
motivates her and how she thinks. With practice, you will get good at this.
If you are right, it adds huge amounts of rapport, makes her think you re-
ally get her, and is quicker and less boring than stock cold reads. If you are
wrong, she will correct you by giving you intimate information about herself
which you can use to your advantage and use as an impetus to share infor-
mation about yourself. It’s a win/win situation.
Rapport is a natural process that occurs when people get to know each other,
so it must FEEL natural. Keep the guidelines above in mind as a rule try to
always steer her in the direction of positive emotions. From beginning
to end, everything should fl ow smoothly and naturally. Every step, from the
initial approach, to attraction, to kissing, to isolation, to sex must be smooth
and must look like it’s not planned. Girls love to say, “It just happened.”
When a girl smells that you prepared something or it’s obvious you are doing
premeditated things just to pick her up, it will destroy your game. Everything
must look like it’s happening spontaneously.
The real truth is that you must plan and know what is your next step is at
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all times. Everything we do in Rapport is carefully planned and executed to-
wards the goal of building an emotional connection and escalating physically
to sex. It’s so carefully planned, that from outside it looks like it’s happening
naturally.
Phone Numbers
L
ots of guys go out and make the game harder than it really is. They go out
and their goal is to get phone numbers and email addresses. Their whole
game is base around taking girls’ contact info.
Then what happens is, they get fake numbers, fl akes…etc.
Ideally, your game should be designed such that taking a phone number is
a last resort. Taking her contact info is something you do because there is
nothing more you can do.
Always, always, always try to get as much as possible from the situation you
have. Don’t limit yourself to phone numbers. Every guy can take her phone
number. It’s EASY. Can you fuck a phone number? No.
Then don’t try to take a phone number home. Take her home.
Always try to push it as far as it will go. If you cannot get her home and
have sex with her or have some other logistical problem THEN take a phone
number. ONLY then, when you see everything else is impossible.
What a good player aims for is the following: he fucks a girl, and if she is
good in bed, he will take her phone number to see her again. If she is not
good in bed, he won’t take her phone number. It doesn’t work out like this
every time but it’s the best attitude to have. You will be surprised how many
times you can get the girl home if you are willing to try and not just settle
for a number. Phone numbers are the very last thing you should go for. Only
when all other options are OFF, then you go for phone number.
If you must settle for taking contact info, avoid taking emails. Email is too
easy to ignore, makes it much harder to convey your personality and a con-
versation over email can take weeks.
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There is one big rule. Never ask for number directly, like, “Can you give me
your phone number?” or, “What’s your phone number?” It sounds too needy
and you’re giving her the opportunity to say no. Don’t ask for anything.
Never ask for permission, instead just do it. That is a general rule for life.
So how do you take a phone number without asking? Example: “This was
a really interesting conversation. Let’s continue it some other time… Here,
write down your number, I will call you”
I never asked for it and I still get the number. It’s more of a command. It’s
polite, but dominantly polite. Like all master persuaders say, “Assume the
sale.” When you get a phone number, don’t run away that same second like
it was your mission to get a silly number. Stay and talk for a few more min-
utes and then say goodbye and tell her you will call her in a few days.
Don’t mention any kind of dates or having a relationship. Don’t create pres-
sure with a dating frame. You are meeting her for a cup of coffee and inter-
esting conversation or whatever… That way there is no pressure on her that
will make her have second thoughts about meeting up. And whenever they
mention sex, dating or a relationship, tell them that YOU just want to get to
know her. Remember – you are the chooser.
Dating
W
hen you take a phone number from a girl, DON’T call her tomorrow
morning or as soon as possible. Try to stay congruent with your image.
I usually wait a day or two and call in the afternoon.
Keep that fi rst phone call short, a few minutes. Have something interesting
to say at the beginning of the call based on your previous conversation or
something that happened to you today. If you have to make something up,
go ahead. Just don’t be boring or put the burden on her.
After a few short minutes of chatter, arrange place and time to meet. You
must lead here while still appearing democratic. Like, “Lets meet Tuesday
evening at bar X…,” and let her choose the time. You choose location and
day and let her choose time. You aren’t asking if that day or bar are okay.
You assume they are and she is committing to meet you by choosing a time.
Don’t ask her when she wants to meet. Planting lots choices and ambi-
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guity in the process gives her opportunities to fl ake or make excuses. This is
a delicate time in the relationship. Often, they wake up and wonder if their
emotions were correct the night before. They start to have doubts. We pre-
vent these doubts from getting in our way by conveying personality on the
call and initiating a meet to continue escalating things.
Set dates for the weeknights and not the weekends when everybody goes
out. They are likely to be busy or have something come up and cancel
because they want to party with their friends. Plus, bars and venues are
more crowded on the weekends which makes it more conducive to being
intimate.
Be different. A fi rst date can be normal, like coffee, drinks or a movie. But
later, try to avoid these kinds of dates. It’s boring. Once you have her in your
life, keep things interesting if you want to keep her around. We’ll talk more
about this later.
During fi rst dates, avoid being insecure and don’t worry about whether she
likes you or not. If she is there, she likes you. Assume that things will go
well, that she likes you and use the Go First Principle. In your mind, pretend
that this is not a fi rst date and that she is not a stranger. She will pick up on
the sense of familiarity and become very comfortable with you.
Look at it from the girl’s point of view: They come on the fi rst date to see
if they really like a guy. Is he the same as the impression I got in club? If
he is then it’s okay to continue liking him. She wants to like him. Really,
ask yourself, if she doesn’t want to like the guy why would she come see him
again? She is hoping things go well and that it will lead to a second date.
So, keep this in mind, don’t be needy and have fun with her.
Another thing is to make sure you escalate the relationship into something
physical early on. Start touching, holding hands, kissing or more as the op-
portunity arises. If you don’t and three dates go by, you will fi nd that you
have become emasculated and are now nothing but a friend to her. If you
are the assertive male you takes what he wants, you will be unafraid to make
a move and let her know you are interested in her sexually. It is already
written into the subtext of the date. Not making a move is strange and con-
veys that you are afraid to take action. Again, lead confi dently and she will
follow.
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Understanding Flakes
F
lakes are a very interesting thing to analyze. Understanding what hap-
pened and where you went wrong will help your game tremendously in
the future. DON’T take fl akes personally. Usually it just means you made
a mistake somewhere. Mistakes are fi xable. Flakes happen to everyone at
some time or another. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you
personally.
For those who don’t know, a fl ake is a girl who avoids your phone calls, your
messages, won’t set up a date, doesn’t show up, etc.
I know for a lot of guys it can be very confusing, and lead to frustration, be-
cause even though a girl clearly likes you that night, she still fl akes and still
doesn’t want to meet you again. Let’s try to understand why.
Here are the two most common scenarios:
1) You completely hit it off with a girl in the club. She gives you multiple
IOIs and is clearly into you. You make out with her and she gives you her
phone number which you are sure will lead to sex the next time you meet.
Then she never answers your calls.
Explanation : She was obviously attracted to you but as we discussed ear-
lier, attraction is an emotion, and emotions dissipate over time. So, a few
days later she doesn’t feel much of anything for you. If this happens regu-
larly it means you are relying too much on High Attraction Game to seduce
girls. This can be effective in the club, but often leads to fl akes because it’s
one note and doesn’t motivate them to reinitiate contact because there is
nothing special about you on a deeper level. Also, the hotter the girl is, the
more likely this will happen. She meets a guy just about every time she goes
out and is juggling so many options at once that you really have to create
something different and memorable to cut through.
How to solve this : Don’t just rely on just Attraction. It is very tempting
to stay in Attraction for a long time because it is fun and validating and we
get showered with IOIs. Don’t fall for this. Instead start creating Massive
Rapport with girls. Use the rapport building techniques discussed earlier and
spend a lot of time connecting with her on a deeper level. Experiment with
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trying to create a real soul mate connection with every girl you game and not
just being a crazy player. It may feel weird at fi rst, but learning to do this
will pay big dividends once you’ve mastered it.
Remember: Rapport takes place in the logical brain. That means once you
create it, it stays forever. You can rely on it much more than attraction to
get you results.
Once you have enough attraction and you successfully connect with her, she
will like you forever. Fun is forgettable. A deep emotional connection is not.
If she just feels attraction and fun towards a stranger, you are just some
guy she was horny for that night. That might be enough for us, but it’s not
enough for her. Serious rapport prevents fl akes.
2) You set up a date with a girl, you talk, you text each other, everything is
perfect. There is sexual tension in air. You are sure it’s on. Then, 45 min-
utes before the date something comes up and she can’t come. The excuses
may vary, but this type of fl ake, just before the meeting, is very common.
Explanation: She likes you a lot and she wants you. While she’s getting
ready, she starts thinking about you and it starts turning her on and getting
her horny. She realizes that she may not be able to control herself and may
end up having sex with a stranger tonight.
She starts to release adrenaline and too much adrenalin leads to fear and
fear leads to a fl ake.
Thinking about sex J Horniness J Adrenaline J Fear J Flake
The fl ake at the end is not an emotion itself but rather a logical decision she
makes based on her emotions. The fl ake is a result of this chain of emo-
tions.
How to solve this: Prevent this chain of emotions from happening over the
phone. If this happens to you often, it means you are either too sexual or
too needy before sex actually happens. It means you are projecting over the
phone or text that you want to have sex with her too much. Even she wants
it, and she likes it, if you overdo it you risk bringing up resistance. It’s best
not to get sexual with her until you are physically together on the date. Not
before! This way her instincts kick in due to her attraction to your presence
and touch which reduces the resistance and you are there to comfort her if
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there is any. Needy guys will have this problem a lot because they go into a
feeding frenzy as soon as they think they are going to get some action. This
is not the behavior of guys who have lots of options with women. Play it cool
and sex will happen. Get desperate and you will blow it.
Also, for good measure, make sure that before sex actually happens you
deepen the rapport to insure that she feels special and that you aren’t just
looking to get laid.
Of course, every rule in this game can be broken. Many good Players can
actually talk about sex on the phone before meeting the girl and still get laid,
but to play it perfectly smooth follow the advice above. It will save you from
dealing with the frustration of fl akes.
Should I Kiss Her?
B
eing relaxed is one of the most important elements in pickup…and in life.
When you are relaxed, you are also naturally confi dent and spontane-
ous.
When your body is relaxed, your mind will follow. And when your mind is
relaxed, there are no limitations. You don’t over think -- you just do. When
your logical brain is working too much, you don’t listen to the things that
come from your unconscious. This is extremely important to learn to do. If
you listen your unconscious mind and your instincts, you will get laid like
crazy. That is what most “Naturals” do. They don’t think, they act from their
unconscious.
How many times you asked yourself while talking with a girl, “Should I kiss
her?” or, “How long should I wait before I kiss her?”
Here’s the rule guys: If she’s giving you attraction signals and your body is
telling you it’s time, GO FOR IT. Every time the window of opportunity ap-
pears, take it.
Let me explain what’s happening in your body at that moment. The girl
starts thinking about sex or kissing or just gives you strong attraction sig-
nals and you may not even be aware of it logically (girls can hide it beneath
surface very well) but your body receives signals from her body (emotions
are contagious) and the signal that she is attracted moves from your body
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to your brain. At this point you should trust your emotions and instincts, but
instead your overused logical brain starts to rationalize and doubt the signal.
Then you start asking yourself, “Should I kiss her?” etc…
This, “Should I kiss her?” didn’t come from nowhere. It was triggered by
something. It was triggered by her attraction to you and your body picked
that up. That’s one of biggest differences between guys who get laid and
guys who don’t get laid. One guy thinks and rationalizes while another guy
ACTS and does something about it.
To make it simple: When you start thinking about whether you should kiss
her or not, that means YOU SHOULD do it at exactly that moment. This all
starts with making yourself very relaxed in every situation so that you are
open to receive these subtle signals and respond genuinely from your uncon-
scious instincts instead of your logical mind.
Handling Other Guys
W
hen you start approaching girls and getting results, you will see that a
lot of guys get jealous because of it. Some will try to block you from
your goal. In 90% of cases, they will just try to annoy you. It’s nothing
personal. They will interrupt your conversation or do something stupid. It’s
funny, because they know they can’t get the girl themselves but when they
see somebody else is getting her, they get jealous and try to ruin it. They
can’t handle that somebody else is taking her.
In a small percentage of situations, the guy is actually her boyfriend. In
that situation, you have option to continue with him there or to eject. It’s up
to you. In both cases you can win. Stealing the girl when her boyfriend is
there can be tough so it’s best left for advanced guys who have developed
their skills.
In general though, there are three powerful strategies to get rid of these los-
ers.
The fi rst option is you can completely ignore him like he doesn’t exist. This
works best when the girl doesn’t know him. If you ignore him, she will also.
The guy will have to start talking over you and get very aggressive. The
more he does that, the worse he looks. Unless he is a total asshole or very
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drunk, he will feel very awkward by being ignored and be forced to leave.
The idea here is to ignore him like he’s a worthless gnat, not like he’s a threat
that you’re trying to block out. You can even glance at him, but it should be
a quick size up from a point of superiority and then more ignoring to let him
know he is not even worth acknowledgement.
She will never ignore somebody she knows, though. In that situation you
can use open-ended questions, which works beautifully.
For example: You are talking with a girl and guy comes and starts talking
with her and ignores you. Basically, you lost her attention and you need to
get it back somehow.
Ask the guy an open-ended question, like, “Hey, man, what’s you name?” or,
“How do you guys know each other?”
What happens is as soon he answers the question I am back in control. They
usually answer because he must look friendly in front of the girl. In order to
answer my question, he is forced to stop his conversational thread with her.
Then there is a pause after he answers me where I can steer things where
I want to. I can respond to his answer and jump into a conversation with
both of them, where I continue to steer it in a direction I want it to go and
convey the traits I would like, or I can subtly say, “Cool,” and simply switch
back to conversation with the girl, basically ignoring him. This works like a
charm. He usually will leave because he lost his original thread and is being
ignored.
The third thing that I love to use is the girlfriend destroyer.
After this, there is no help for him. I use this when I know the guy is hitting
on the girl I am talking to.
When a guy starts interrupting you, just ask him, “Where’s your girlfriend?”
or, “Do you have a girlfriend?” I like to use, “Where is your girlfriend?” be-
cause it presupposes that he has one. And it looks like I am totally friendly
towards him. At least that’s how it looks…
There is no good answer to it. Whatever he says, I win. If he says that he
has a girlfriend in front of her, he will lose his chances. If he says that he
doesn’t have a girlfriend, I usually hug the girl and say, “He’s not bad look-
ing, is he? He should have a girlfriend for sure. I don’t see why you don’t
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have one.”
If he says that he has a girlfriend, just ask him where she is. Probably she
is at home while he’s out hitting on girls. He is unfaithful, which will further
destroy all his chances. Mostly, guys become speechless. It’s excellent be-
cause you didn’t do anything harsh towards him and he feels stupid.
No matter what I do, as you can see, I always control the conversation. I
am the one who is asking questions, controlling threads and I am above him.
Just because he is answering my questions mean’s he’s under my control.
If I ignore him, I decide who is higher status. Whatever you do, just make
sure that you don’t fall into his reality, his world. Regain control by capturing
him into your conversation. Make him part of your conversation, your world,
your frame, your reality. That is what dominant people do.
Buying Things
B
uying things to get attraction is wrong. Buying drinks, fl owers, or what-
ever to get her attracted is counter productive to our objective to convey
that we are dominant and that we are the prize. Avoid it. You instantly be-
come needy, desperate and lower status in her eyes. What you are doing is
essentially paying for her time. Real alpha males don’t need to buy anyone’s
time. People always want to be around them because they have a magnetic
personality and they behave as though they are used to that. The concept
of buying a girl’s time should not even be in your vocabulary.
Everybody around you, those ten guys that approached before you and the
ten guys who will come after you, will try to get her into bed by buying her
drinks and eventually presents. Girls will sometimes entertain these guys to
get free things, but they have no real attraction or respect for them. They
are just using them. You must attract and seduce her with the strength of
your personality alone. Once you reach for the wallet to impress her or buy
her time the game is over.
You can buy her a drink, however, once you are deep into rapport. When
the two of you are sharing a meaningful connection and have expressed real
interest in each other it’s okay to buy her a drink just as you would a friend.
But the girl must be genuinely into you because of who you are and the con-
nection you’ve made, and not because she thinks you will buy her things.
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Dancing
I
f you don’t know how to dance very well, avoid it. It is not the best place
for pickup. The music, lights and motion are controlling their minds and
bodies, putting them into a form of trance that is tough to cut through. Mu-
sic is one of the strongest tools for controlling peoples moods and emotions.
We really don’t want to compete with it. Also, the dance fl oor is the loudest
area in club. We seduce women with our words and lose much of our appeal
when we have to scream… So basically, everything is working against you;
loud music, smoke, lots of people, distractions and the girl is basically in a
trance.
Sooner or later that girl from the dance fl oor will go for a drink or sit down.
She can’t dance the whole night. Even if the best looking girl in the club
is dancing, go have some fun with other girls fi rst, then approach her later
when she is off the dance fl oor.
If you are very good dancer, then you can get somewhere. With good danc-
ing you can create both attraction and rapport. You can create attraction by
leading, being dominant and exuding sexuality. You can create a little bit of
rapport by creating comfort and trust with the time you spend dancing to-
gether and communicating non-verbally through looks and movement.
Eventually you must sit down and talk with her before you take her out of the
club. Start building attraction briefl y to cement it and then move to rapport
quickly since you are both already comfortable with each other.
As a rule, use dancing as a way to demonstrate all the qualities we discussed
earlier. Never ask for a dance. Instead, just take her hand and lead her
to dance fl oor. Remember to be dominant. Lead the pace of the dancing,
where you go and how sexual it becomes. It is just one more way to dem-
onstrate that you are the alpha leader and the prize.
“I Have a Boyfriend”
O
ne of biggest mistakes guys make is asking whether a girl is single or if
she has a boyfriend. Then, of course, the girl tells him that she has a
boyfriend and he feels rejected.
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Most girls today are single. If you get a lot of “I have a boyfriend,” lines from
girls it means that you are not getting attraction from them. Something in
your game needs to be fi xed. Girls generally use this line to weed out guys
they don’t like.
Sometimes they won’t even give you chance to attract them. They will just
attack you with, “I have a boyfriend,” bullshit. In those cases, just ignore it
and continue to game. What she says doesn’t matter. They use this line so
much, that it becomes their automatic response to any guy that approaches.
Once you’ve had some time to attract her, the boyfriend will miraculously
disappear. A girl will never say she has a boyfriend to a guy that she likes.
Even if she really has a boyfriend, it still doesn’t matter. Most girls are al-
ways on the lookout for a better guy and yes, she will cheat on him when
she fi nds one that’s better than what she has. Whatever the scenario, your
attitude should be, “I am better then your boyfriend, you just need to realize
it.” Just stay there and give her a chance to fi nd that out.
When girls tell me that they have a boyfriend, I just say, “Nice, anyway…” and
I switch the topic to something else. My response is same as if she told me,
“I have shoes on”. Or if you want to be direct about it say, “I don’t even want
to be your boyfriend. I am going to be your (whisper in her ear) LOVER…”
Don’t talk about her boyfriend at all. First, because the guy probably
doesn’t even exist. It’s just a shit test early on. And second, if he does exist,
the more you talk about him the more you reinforce that it matters and that
she shouldn’t cheat. If you do a good job in sucking her into your reality, and
ignore the concept of the boyfriend, she will do the same and pretend he’s
not in the picture. Again lead and she will follow. The key to seduction is
how you make them feel. If you play it right and skirt around the boyfriend
concept with discretion, she will feel comfortable being with you whether he’s
real or not.
Resistance
I
f you’re lucky, the girl you pick is going to be up for a good time and there
will be a smooth progression from opening her to taking her home and
having sex with her.
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If you encounter resistance, especially when you start to become more phys-
ical, there are usually only two possible explanations. In the fi rst case she
simply doesn’t feel anything for you, there is no sexual tension, and so you
need to create more attraction. In the second case the resistance is logical.
Objections like, “I don’t know you yet. You don’t know me yet. I am not sure.
It’s too soon. I have a boyfriend,” are all examples of this. Logical objections
come from the analytical part of the brain and they are hard to deal with.
More then 80% of the resistance you get will be logical brain resistance.
Playing with the logical brain can be hard, even more so if you don’t know
how to control it. So, I am going to teach you something really important.
The fi rst and most important rule is not to wait until resistance happens in
the bedroom, and then deal with it. This takes a long time and is usually
complicated and messy.
Instead, take care of it while you are seducing her, way before sex is going
to happen. What I usually do is I create really good attraction, so the girl
cannot say, “I am not sure.” Emotions win over logic. Now, as she feels at-
tracted, half of her logical resistance naturally dies. Because she wants sex.
She wants it, not just me.
Other forms of logical resistance like “It’s too soon,” or “I don’t even know
you,” are caused more by a lack of rapport.
You should take care of all that before there is any question of sex, while you
are building wide and deep rapport. If you feel that some kind of resistance
is likely to happen, then start taking care of it before it happens. It’s much
easier to prevent things that may happen, than to deal with them when they
happen. Just like with money and health -- with seduction it’s good to think
a few steps ahead.
If you know that the girl is searching for her soul-mate, and you know she
will sleep only with her soul-mate, don’t wait until you’re trying to have sex
with her for resistance to happen. Instead, work on your rapport and con-
nection with her way before sex, become really good at connecting, and that
kind of resistance will never occur.
The rule for dealing with any resistance coming from the logical brain is to
change the way a person feels. Whenever you face some kind of resistance,
it’s very useful to change the emotion a person has. Because remember that
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every decision a person makes comes from how they feel in that particu-
lar moment. So if you change the emotion they feel, it’s likely that you will
change the decision they made a few moments ago also.
Another thing that I really like to do is to control what they think and feel by
the way I kiss them. I think kissing is the easiest way to control girl’s emo-
tions, because you are totally connected, lip to lip. So what I do is, I kiss the
girl really soon, within 30 minutes of meeting her. Sometimes it takes longer,
sometimes I kiss a girl immediately after meeting her. But after I kiss her, I
am totally in control. Whenever she disagrees with something I am going to
do, or her logic kicks in, I will kiss her to change her emotions a little bit, and
continue with whatever I was doing.
Guys often look at sex very differently from girls. We tend to see sex as the
ultimate goal and target, the successful outcome of a mission. Whereas girls
see it as another, more signifi cant, kind of rapport. If you think of rapport as
being like a spectrum, talking and connecting on hobbies and passions is one
kind of frequency, and the act of sex is another, higher frequency. But many
girls cannot give you the higher frequency until you’ve connected across the
whole spectrum. This is just a more detailed way of saying that you must re-
ally connect – widely and deeply.
Girls use sex to tie down the guy they want. They use sex to get the guy into
a relationship. While we guys have sex more because it feels good and for
fun. Because of the fact that by nature sex is far more signifi cant for women
than men – because if a girl gets pregnant, that has huge consequences for
her, whereas the man can leave and fi nd another mate – girls are genetically
programmed to test and really select a man that complements them well.
In general, girls will tend to have sex with a guy who they want to keep for
the future. So, if you want to have sex with her, you have to BE that guy to
he
Troubleshooting – Common Mistakes
C
alibrating your skills is a process of trial and error. You cannot learn
pickup by sitting at your keyboard. You will only improve by going out
and opening sets.
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Having worked with hundreds of guys all over the world, I’ve listed some
of the most common sticking points that beginners have and that you may
come across in the early stages of your game.
Mistake #1
Being Nervous Around Hot Girls
This is probably the easiest sticking
point to fi x, btw.
Problem: If you are nervous around
girls, you will subcommunicate that
emotion to them and they will start
feeling nervous as well. If that hap-
pens, girls will usually walk away.
Explanation & Solution: This is why
I pay so much attention to teaching
body language. If you make your-
self relaxed in set (lean back, get
comfortable), and use relaxed body
language, your mind will go into a
relaxed mode. The mind will follow
the body.
Remember: You can have only one
emotion in your body at time. So
either you are relaxed or nervous.
When the two compete, being re-
laxed will win, as it is an equilibri-
um state. Nervousness is a passing
emotion. Behave relaxed and the
mind will follow.
Mistake #2
Asking Too Many Questions
Problem: You don’t know what to
say, so you ask zillions of questions.
This is such a common mistake that
Post from the
Carpe Diem Forum on
Badboylifestyle.com
.
By Solid
LR: Every disadvantage is advantage
...I was in the club with my brother. I
see him talking with two chicks (Petit
Blond and Sexy Dark) I entered the set
and he isolated dark and I took blonde.
At the beginning she said that she lives
with boyfriend and comes from another
city ( first disadvantage - he controls
her time). I started to travel with her
around the club, stopped near the bar
ordered two beers and started to bla bla
bla. All guys left to the another club
and i was alone with her.
I lead her to the sofa and started palm
reading, went for kiss close and... she
turned her head FUCK... so I went an-
other time for kiss... She turned her
head and than told something like that:
U kiss all the girls like that, U are a
player!! So i replied: Fuck U, I only
want to get to know U and U heart
my feelings :) and left her. I went 10
meteres from her and she came to me
and we started kissing. I had no loca-
tion to fuck her this night so I took her
phone number and gave her my silver
ring telling: Think about me when I’m
not near U. It was really funny because
at the end of the night her boyfriend
came to the club. She was dancing with
him and sending smiles to me:) I came
back home alone :(
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some methods try to fi x it by teach-
ing routines and prepared stories.
Storytelling is very important here
(to be able to tell a story about any-
thing) but you can learn to do this
improvisationally.
Explanation & Solution: Be sponta-
neous. You can learn to do this. We
teach you exercises to give you the
power to talk, talk and talk without
saying anything particularly clever.
We say talk ‘bullshit’ just to occupy
her logical brain, while simultane-
ously you do things like isolate,
control her emotions, kiss close...
etc. Remember, she can process
only one thing at a time.
Remember: Stop asking questions,
instead tell a story. You have tons
of things that happened to you this
week and in your life. TELL THEM!
Mistake #3
Trying to Impress Her
Problem: This is because of brain-
washing from society. For some
reason, you feel that you need to
be cool or have a nice car or money
or something else to impress her,
so she will CHOOSE you.
Explanation & Solution: First, you
must realize that they are not
choosing anything. YOU are the
chooser. YOU are the one who has
the power. A girl can choose only from the guys who approach her. And you
can choose whoever you want in the club/street/bar. Whenever you feel like
Next week I meet her in front of the
same club. She was leaving. She gave
me back my ring and said: Let’s meet
tommorow bla bla bla So we met next
day in place where she works. She fin-
ished her job and was going home.
She started shittested me but I know
that it’s huge IOI.
Said something: U will walk with me to
my home and than I will have leave
U.
Replied: Fuck I came here to spend
some time with U not to go for a walk
to your home and than come back to
mine.
So on the way to her home I managed
to buy cheap champagne :) When we
were near her house she said another
bullshit: Stay here and wait for me.
Me: Fuck U, I’m cominig in to drink
champagne with U :) I won’t drink it
here.
I came to her home. Her boyfriend left
for 3 days so it was HUGE ADVANTAGE
that’s she lives with him....
...I fucked her in her boyfriend’s bed.
He was calling her but she didn’t an-
swered. He is total excuzer. I saw about
20 pc games on his desk. His girlfriend
gave me one of the best blow jobs in
my life. It’s big advantage that she has
a boyfriend because I have where to
fuck her :) She wanted to fuck from
the beginning of our meeting. She said
that she had thought about sex in 3
minutes of meeting me in the club....
thnx to BadBoy I’m much more cre-
ative. I can solve problems in just one
moment. Thnx Badboy one more time...
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you need to impress her, do the opposite. For example, when she asks what
you do, say “I am a toilet seat designer” or “I am a pizza boy” or anything
else that will show that you are not trying to impress her. You don’t care!
That is the right attitude. Answers do not need to even be funny. The point
is to subcommunicate, “I don’t care to try and impress you.”
Remember: Whenever you “try” to be cool in their eyes, you are actually do-
ing opposite.
Mistake #4
Not Approaching/Waiting for IOIs to Approach
Explanation & Solution: Most girls will never even look at you, even if they
fi nd you attractive. The more horny she is, the more she will try to hide it
and act cool (unless she’s really, really drunk). Girls think about sex as much
as we do. But the biggest thing they will do to make it happen is to dress
sexy & look hot. The rest of the work they expect from us. You are the one
who needs to approach and do your job. And if you do your job correctly, and
smoothly, she will spread her legs for you.
Remember: If you don’t play the game, you can’t win. If you just observe
the game, you will never learn to play it to win. So step out on the fi eld and
start playing game. There is no substitution for this.
Mistake #5
Hiding Your Intentions
Problem: You are afraid of what’s going to happen if she knows why you are
there and that you are interested in her.
Explanation & Solution: Be proud of who you are and what you do. Tell girls
why you are there. Tell them that you are going to seduce them. Girls love to
be seduced, girls fantasize about being seduced. Be honest, be open. They
will love you, because they never met someone so bold and full of confi -
dence. You cannot stay forever with the, “Let me ask your opinion,” or “Hey
girls, what’s the best club to go to?” frame. At some point you need to go
direct. You’ll be surprised how girls react. They will be all over you after you
go direct on them. Even if the direct opener doesn’t works for you, (it can
take some time to master) go direct somewhere in conversation. Be bold, be
super crazy direct. It works.
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Remember: Girls are attracted to confi dent guys who know what they want
and feel they deserve to have it.
Mistake #6
Talking Too Fast
Problem: A lot of guys talk too fast because they want to hide their insecuri-
ties. When people talk too fast, or too much, it often means they are hiding
something.
Explanation & Solution: It’s not important to say as many things as possible
in shortest period of time. Actually, the less you say, the more attractive and
mysterious you are. First, cut the speed of all your movements down to half
the current speed. Then do the same with your words. Say more with less.
And talk like that all day, not just with girls.
The point is to be cool, relaxed and confi dent all day and in your whole life,
not just around girls. You will notice the slower you talk and move, the more
relaxed you feel. So start working on that from the outside and it will change
who you are on the inside.
Remember: If you make a calm and cool impression, girls will be more in-
terested in you.
Mistake #7
Waiting for Her to Make a Move
Problem: This is one of the stupidest mistakes you can make. Never, never,
never wait for her to do anything fi rst.
Explanation & Solution: Lead by example. The less your game is dependent
on her, the more successful you will be.
Girls are by default pushed into the passive role when it comes to dating. For
evolutionary reasons, they are reactive by nature and guys are supposed to
take the proactive role. That means we are supposed to initiate things while
they respond to our moves. When you get rejected by a girl, it doesn’t mean
she doesn’t like you personally. It means you did something wrong in your
actions. If you do something right she will smile, give you an indicator of in-
terest or will just let you to continue seducing her. Then if you do something
that is miscalibrated, she will suddenly react with resistance. Seduction is
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about taking a sequence of right actions.
Remember: Always keep ball rolling and make sure that you are the one
who controls ball.
Mistake #8
Waiting Too Long to Make a Move
Problem: You get the famous, “Let’s just be friends,” line because you wait-
ed too long to make a move.
Explanation & Solution: If you wait too long, the tension and sexual options
will disappear and you will be labeled a nice, safe friend in her mind. Once
you are there it’s extremely diffi cult to switch out of that category.
When in doubt, and you’ve received indicators of interest, always opt to es-
calate. It’s better to try and fail, but set the precedent of romantic interest,
than to do nothing and be written off as a friend.
Remember: It’s easier to escape from Alcatraz than from the, “Let’s just be
friends,” zone. Escalate and make a move before it’s too late.
Mistake #9
Being Needy
Problem: You care too much about succeeding with a particular girl. The
more you appear to want her, the less she wants you.
Explanation & Solution: The less available you are, the more value you
have. The less you are needy and show you want her, the more she will want
you.
It’s insane, but that is how it works, like it or not. So, start dating multiple
girls. Never focus too much on one girl. Make sure she thinks you have
options…even if you don’t right now. She must feel that she needs to work
hard to get and keep you.
Remember: Girls love guys who have options and other women in their
lives. They dismiss guys who are lonely and desperate.
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Mistake #10
Being Predictable
Problem: The more predictable you are, the more resistance you will get.
Explanation & Solution: For girls, predictable means boring. And they hate
boring guys. They love when something new is happening. They don’t want
a boring life, so they will stick with guys who will push things beyond their
normal limits. That’s why they are attracted to unpredictable guys.
To become unpredictable, stop doing what you usually do. Do the opposite.
If you want to say her I love you, say I hate you. If you see you can com-
fortably get her phone number, push forward, and go for a kiss instead.
Remember: Make things exciting for both of you by being spontaneous and
unpredictable.
PART III
Living the BadBoy Lifestyle -
Advanced Topics
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Life Rules by Badboy
1) Girls Will Not Make You Happy
Happiness is inside YOU, not in other people… or stuff that you need to buy.
That is exactly society wants you to think; to look outside yourself to oth-
ers or things you need to buy for your happiness. But this can only bring
temporary happiness. Most girls out there are unhappy with their lives and
they search for a man to make them happy. Actually they search for a happy
man, to jump into his life, and enjoy his life. That is why you must focus on
yourself fi rst, before you bring someone else in your life.
2) If You Don’t Change You Will Stay Where You Are
This is simple. Same actions get same results. If you are not happy with
what you are getting from life, it’s time to change. Try anything, but don’t
stay where you are because it will lead you exactly to where you are now.
Moving in a new direction will lead to new results.
3) What Would You Do If There Was No Fear?
Can you imagine how your life would be if there were absolutely no fear in it?
Ask yourself, what would you do, how would you behave? Then start doing
those things, little by little, to decondition yourself from fear and reprogram
yourself to do the things you really want to do. When you beat your fear, you
will be FREE.
4) The Sooner You Forget Your Old Girlfriend, the Sooner You Will Find a New
One
Most guys, after they break up with a girl, they think about her for months.
It’s normal after long term relationships to have emotions for that girl, but
the sooner you forget about her, the sooner you will fi nd a new girl. Be aware
that an end is a new beginning. It’s smart to always have a backup girl in
your life, so when you break up with one girl, you can jump to the other one.
That is the reason why you should always stay social and go out, no mat-
ter how hot and perfect your girl is. There is always a chance you will break
up.
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5) Don ’t Wait for Girls to Come to You
You should always be pro-active. It’s a very bad idea to stay home and think,
“Its just going to happen.” That’s how girls think, because they generally
play a more passive role in society. It’s written in your genes that we are the
stronger sex, the hunters, the ones that make thing happen. That’s how it’s
been for million of years. Don’t betray your genes and evolution.
6) If You Think You Can Get the Girl, You Can
It’s very important to stay focused on positivity and be sure that for every
action you do, sooner or later you will be rewarded. Avoid negative thoughts,
girls can feel it, and as soon they smell you are a “bad thinker” they will
avoid you.
7) Go for Your Dreams
Never abandon your dreams. They will keep you motivated. There is nothing
on this planet that can stop you from making your dreams come true, except
you. There is nothing more important than your dreams. Life is too short to
not make yourself happy.
8) Start Chasing Girls and ENJOY It
Soon you will realize that the chase is so much fun it is often times better
than the actual sex is. In the long run, girls like sex more than guys do. We
get bored with one girl pretty quickly and our genes motivate us to a fi nd a
new girl, to spread our semen. While girls are programmed to fi nd that ‘spe-
cial one’ and raise kids with him. So enjoy the chase, enjoy going out, and
have fun doing it. It’s a natural instinct for us.
9) Life Is Constant Change
Those who cannot adapt themselves to new environments will die. To be
really successful in life and with women, you must use everything life gives
you. All your good and bad qualities. You must use all disadvantages to your
advantage. Loud music, dark clubs, your hobbies... everything! It’s a skill to
learn to use everything to your advantage. It’s different way of thinking than
you are probably used to but always ask yourself, “What can I do with this?”
and, “How can I use this in my favor?”
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10) The More You Worry About Getting Girls, the Less Success You Will
Have
Neediness is a big turn off for everybody. When you want something too
much, it lowers your value as a person. It means something is more impor-
tant then you are. So the key is: know what you want on the inside, but be
cool, like you don’t care too much on the outside or that it will come easily
to you. The less you appear to care and the easier things seem for you, the
better results you will get.
11) Every Girl Is a Potential Girlfriend, Whether You Realize It or Not
Everything is an opportunity. The girl walking down the street, two girls in a
coffee shop talking, the girl next door . If you take what life gives you and
make the absolute most of it, you will fi nd a lot of opportunities that you
never thought were possible. A new girl will come to you as a gift if you enjoy
it as a challenge, make the move and beat your fear.
12) Fear of Change Will Prevent You from Changing
People are afraid of change. Most of them are zombies, and they don’t want to
change because of a fear of the unknown. And of course if you don’t change
you will get what you’ve always got. You must SEE the advantage of chang-
ing yourself and take ACTION immediately, even if it is uncomfortable.
Go Out
I
f you don’t have enough girls in your social circle that you can seduce you
should start going out regularly and meeting new girls in clubs and bars.
It’s obviously not going to happen by itself.
Girls operate this way as well; they know that if they don’t expose them-
selves at clubs and similar venues, they will never fi nd somebody. It’s very
much like searching for a job; how are you going to get a job if you never
send out your resumé? But of course, in this case the resumé is yourself,
your image and your attitude.
So the girls’ mission is to look beautiful and expose themselves in clubs
and to give signs when they are attracted. They are in clubs, because they
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search for us and need us. They want to be approached. I prefer clubs to any
other environment, because the subtext is obvious. They are usually open
to socializing and meeting new people and to being seduced if the right guy
is there.
Of course, others prefer environments such as city streets or shopping malls,
because there’s less stress than in clubs. There is no deafening music, al-
cohol, or fl ashing lights. So experiment in all types of venues and fi nd the
place that works best and is easiest for you. This is up to personal taste. But
wherever you choose to go, make sure there are enough hot chicks for you
to approach and seduce.
If you want to fi nd the biggest collection of hot women go to clubs between
11.30pm and 1am. That is the peak time. Most really hot women won’t stay
longer because after 1 am guys start to get really drunk and hit on girls left
and right. That is the point where girls don’t feel comfortable anymore so
they go home or to another quieter place. Most girls who stay in clubs after
2-3 am are for sure searching for somebody and they want some fun.
Some girls go out just to fi nd good sex. They will choose the guy who can
give her the best sex that night. To do this they screen guys by body lan-
guage, dressing style and energy.
If you never go out and approach them, they will never have the chance to
go home with you and they will never have a chance to meet you. So, start
going out. Start exposing yourself to opportunities. Many times, I got a girl
just by being in the right place at the right time. There is nothing to lose; you
can only win. The only thing that can go wrong is for a girl to say no and that
shouldn’t bother you. It’s impossible to win every time. Every good sports
coach will say you that you must lose now and again and that you must learn
how to lose constructively. Every time you lose you will learn something. It’s
a new lesson. A new lesson that will prevent you from repeating the same
mistake in the future and will make you a better PUA.
Instead of reading more books and internet posts trying to learn everything
there is to know about seducing girls, you should go out and practice what
you already know. In just one night out you will learn more than you will
from months of sitting at home reading.
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Keeping the Girl
W
hen you become successful with women, there is going to come a time
when a special girl comes along that you would like to keep. For many
people, that’s why they study seduction techniques; not so that they can
sleep with a new hottie every day, but so they will be able to conquer the girl
that has something extraordinary about her. You should know, in as much
detail as possible, what you are looking for in a girl; they can sense when
you just want to get laid. And that may be fi ne for a ONS but not for building
anything more durable. In the beginning, many seducers hunt just for looks,
but as you get better you will have the luxury of having more options and be
less tolerant of bad behavior, even in hot girls.
When you fi nd a girl that you especially like, close to your ideal, you should
play a slightly different game than when you are just going for a one night-
stand.
If you sleep with this girl immediately, she is going to suspect that you are
looking more for adventure and excitement than for stability, trust, longer
rapport and enjoying different experiences together.
And for some people, establishing a relationship after a one night-stand can
be very hard. Why is this? Because if you slept together the fi rst night you
met, even if you do get into some kind of relationship, as soon as she goes
out with her friends or you go out with your friends, the issue of trust is go-
ing to rear its ugly head.
How can she trust that you are not going to have a one-night stand with
some other girl; how can you trust her that she won’t do the same with some
other guy? So trust is going to be very diffi cult to establish fully, and trust
is a crucial thing in long term relationships. So I’m going to give you some
advice about this problem. When you meet a girl you want to keep, a girl that
you want for a relationship, don’t sleep with her that same night. Instead,
just kiss her, or take her phone number after you have built wide and deep
rapport with her and then meet her some other day.
It is still possible to build a relationship when you have sex the fi rst night you
meet. But the key is to make sure you don’t let yourself go and shag her like
an animal that knows he is going to die after coming… Instead, be more at-
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tentive, more low-energy, have more love making than just pure crazy sex.
Cuddle her more, hold eye contact longer while having sex and also try to
give her lots of orgasms. Let her gain immense pleasure from being with
you. That will be some kind of guarantee that she will come back for more,
and also subcommunicate that you like her, and that you care about her and
how she feels.
One thing I did a few times that worked like a charm: I got the target into my
bed the same night I met her, and then did absolutely everything except for
actual penetration. That turned her on so much, that she came back a few
days later and told me she never met anybody like me and that she feels that
she must stay in my life. You can do this too, just use a little imagination…
Managing Relationships
A
s soon as you have made love with a girl, you can consider that as the
moment the relationship starts. It’s the biggest shift in momentum in the
interaction since you fi rst met and you need to decide whether you want to
keep her around or not.
If you decide that you want to keep her for a longer period of time after
you’ve slept with her – say weeks or months -- then the fi rst month is criti-
cal. The foundations of the relationship are going to be created within the
very fi rst month. Be mindful of what you do and how you behave towards
her in that time.
You see, women are programmed by default to have monogamous relation-
ships. You can do two things about this: accept it and go along with it, or
create new rules and reprogram the girl to follow them. Now if you really like
her, and want to stay in a monogamous relationship with her, it’s basically
very easy. Just see her a few times a week, and have sex with her regularly.
If you want to keep her, you will need to give her sex regularly. That means,
at least 2-3 times per week. If you are new to the game or really young I
suggest you experience a few monogamous long term relationships like this,
perhaps for 3-5 months. You will learn a lot about women.
But be careful if they start to go beyond 5 months. We are programmed by
nature to fall in love for a reason; so that we stay with a girl long enough
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that children can be raised. But that’s not a good thing if you want to be a
really good seducer. You have to be careful when your relationship starts go-
ing beyond 5 months, that you aren’t becoming emotionally enslaved by the
girl. Just pay attention, to who sets the rules in the relationship.
If you want to establish a relationship with two or more girls, the fi rst con-
sideration is your time. Trust me, it’s time-consuming. Seeing every girl
twice a week, and giving her 5-6 hours per meeting, your free time is going
to entirely disappear!! Anyway, if you decide you want this, begin your rela-
tionship with the fi rst girl so that you prepare the territory for the other girls
that you will add into your life. That means establishing rules and boundaries
in the relationship. For example; how much you are going to see each other.
If you see her every day, when will you have time for the others? Now it’s
important that you don’t discuss your rules verbally, because then she will
argue. Let her realize the rules by your behavior.
After you’ve slept together, don’t see her too often. Every day is way too
often, because once she gets used to seeing you everyday you will have
problems cutting it back to a few times per week. No matter how much you
like her, or love her, don’t do it if you plan to have other girls in your life or
you want to live a normal life with time for yourself. Set up your life, so that
you see her 1-2 times a week. That way you can have time for other girls.
You can do this just by being busy. You don’t need to explain to them why
you can’t see them, just be busy. For example, the girl asks, “When will we
see each other?”, then just say…Saturday afternoon, or Sunday, whenever
you wish. Of course, you must give her some time in the week because if you
don’t give her sex, somebody else will. But don’t think she is going to decide
by herself how much you want to see her per week.
If you don’t take control of the relationship, she is going to do it, because
somebody must. If you don’t want to take the ball and serve, somebody else
will. And if you allow the woman to control your relationship, then she will
do it the way she has been programmed by society and nature. And this pro-
gramming is powerful! So for example, she is going to control you by giving
or withholding sex, she is going to forbid you from seeing other girls, she is
going to give you powerful emotional outbursts like jealousy to rob you of
energy for doing anything outside the relationship, and other smart ideas
they usually use to control guys. Once you establish a relationship with one
woman and have some time to add a few more, you just need to fi nd a girl
you like and invite her into your life by giving her sex regularly.
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Once she suspects that you maybe do have other girls in your life besides
her, you have a choice; to be honest about your lifestyle, or to hide it. These
are two completely different styles. I prefer being honest, but I’ve also ex-
perimented with being dishonest which is actually more work.
You will lose some girls until you learn how to play it right. It takes some
time. Don’t let it make you frustrated, because time is necessary to learn
how to control a harem. If you choose to hide it, then that game is really
easy; deny everything and keep your place clean. They have the instinct of
marking their territory, by leaving their hair, panties, earrings, and other
things, to signify that you are taken. Again, they act according to animal
instincts. So always try to keep your place clean, otherwise you are in deep
trouble when one of them fi nds earrings or other things in your bed that
don’t belong to her.
If you choose the other path, and admit openly that you have been sleeping
with other girls, then you must be aware that lot of girls will not accept it.
But at least you won’t have to keep cleaning your place all the time! They
will not accept it, if they think you are not worth it. But if you give them the
best sex on the planet, and they are sure they cannot fi nd better, and they
love you, of course they will choose to stay with you no matter what. If you
go for it, you must be really strong and your attitude must be that you are
calling the shots.
If you do it strongly, they will accept it, because they know that’s the way
you are, and they cannot change you. So they are forced to accept it. If you
hesitate, or you are insecure, no way will it work.
This way is really good if you have a good lifestyle. A lifestyle that they want
to be part of. An excellent lifestyle is the foundation for long-term, crazy
success in this game.
I found for myself that being honest about my life and my decisions works
the best.
Being Honest
I
know it’s hard to say what you really think. This is because everything we
say fi rst goes through our logical fi lter which screens out what is smart to
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say, or not smart to say.
Usually that fi lter develops in puberty and is created by societal pressure.
You must learn to think for yourself and override this fi lter. If you observe
confi dent people, you will notice that they are very direct and demanding,
which radiates power to others. They think for themselves and ask for ex-
actly what they want. You need to do the same; especially with women.
When it comes to girls, it’s much better to honestly say what you think and
intend rather than play games and send mixed signals. Lying develops mis-
trust and drama and usually ends badly.
Once there’s mistrust, girls are always trying to fi gure out whether you are
lying to them. It’s normal for them to ask you where you’ve been and con-
stantly check for proof. Like a police detective, her mind will work and inves-
tigate all possible scenarios. She will ask why you stayed longer at the offi ce,
why you called your female colleague, why you look tired. They analyze your
answers, search your pockets and read messages in your mobile phone when
you’re are not around. It is diffi cult to hide anything from them. So you can
go one of two ways: scramble to come up with explanations for every situa-
tion or just be honest.
Both ways work – but lying only works until you get caught. Unless you are
a very imaginative and lucky guy, the honest way is easier and is not likely
to hurt anyone. When you are promising monogamy but not practicing it,
things get very diffi cult once you are caught with another woman. It won’t
go away without big drama and usually will fi nish the relationship. If you
promise she’s your only one and then begin acting suspiciously, she will look
for proof of your disloyalty, making your life hell. And when she gets some,
you are in trouble.
Just be honest. Do not make her believe that she is the only one if she is not.
Tell her that you are seeing other girls if she asks. You will be surprised by
how she reacts. If she likes being with you and you haven’t falsely led her to
believe differently, she will rarely cut off the relationship because her logical
brain can’t fi nd a reason to leave you or make too much drama because she
still wants to spend time with you and you haven’t done anything deceitful.
You are simply a high status male who enjoys the company of women -- her
being one of them in her own special way -- and you make no apologies for
it. She will respect you for this. And you can feel better for not living a dis-
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honest life.
Relationship Management Frames
N
o matter how many girls you have (even if you only have one), they must
always know they are replaceable. That helps minimize the power that
society normally gives them in relationships and keeps the frame going that
YOU are the prize. But the attitude alone that they are replaceable is not
enough, because if they think that you are using them just for sex, they will
disappear from your life.
I also make sure they know they are SPECIAL; special but replaceable. Re-
member that frame. Every girl, no matter how many you have, should know
that she is special. That will make her stick around; but at the same time if
she knows you have the skills to replace her, she will work hard to please you
and stay in your life. When a girl knows you can go out and get another girl
in 45 minutes, she will buy you things, pamper you and keep you oversexed
just to stop you from searching around for more.
A relationship is based on the same two things that pickup is based on -- At-
traction and Rapport. After a while, the attraction disappears and rapport is
the only thing that keeps it going. When I say rapport, I am referring to the
three things that build rapport: trust, comfort and connection.
For some girls, a longer relationship based solely on rapport is enough, but
for others it’s not enough and they will keep longing for the excitement of at-
traction. If they can’t fi nd it in the relationship they will search for it outside
because a relationship based solely on trust, comfort, and connection can
become boring after a while. She will then secretly fi nd somebody outside
the relationship who is going to give her adventure, wild sex, and dominance
but stay with the boyfriend because he provides comfort and she can rely on
him. Think about rich old guys that get married with young girls...this is not
a good situation to be in unless you don’t mind being cheated on. On the
other hand if you only give her attraction and excitement and no rapport, she
will fi nd somebody who is going to give her those secure romantic feelings.
The key to relationship management is to provide both attraction and rap-
port over a longer period of time. Then any girl will love you and stay with
you, because you are providing everything at once. If you achieve that, the
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girl will never cheat on you with anybody else and she will never search for
other things outside the relationship, because your relationship gives her
everything she needs.
Giving her wild sex, being unpredictable, and doing adventurous things will
give her the attraction she needs. Also, to cuddle and sweet talk and give
her romantic experiences, like a dinner with candles and wine or a surprise
trip somewhere, will turn on the sweet side of the relationship with you. The
relationship is well rounded and interesting.
This will help you to understand the most common situation that happens. A
girl is with a nice guy in a relationship, and he provides her with everything
she could want (logically), but she cheats on him anyway with some jerk.
We’ve all seen this happen over and over again and knowing what we know
now, it’s very easy to see why this happens.
One thing that I see a lot is when a guy makes his girlfriend the centre of
his life. This happens when the girl is your only source of happiness. So
when you get her, you build your whole life around her. This also means, by
default, that she is controlling your whole life because she is aware of the
power she wields; basically the power you surrendered to her.
Sooner or later, she will become unhappy, because of the feeling that she is
controlling you, and that she is the source of your happiness, is the opposite
of what she wants.
She wants a guy who controls her, and that the guy and his life are her
source of happiness. If you place them at the centre of your life, you are
giving them unbelievable power and control. If the whole of your life is built
around a girl and she leaves, (as usually happens) the whole of your life dis-
appears. Don’t put yourself in this precarious position.
A far better way is to build your life so that the lifestyle you live makes you
happy and girls are orbiting around you like planets orbiting around sun.
When you are the sun and girls are planets revolving around your day, you
are still the center of your own universe no matter what happens and no one
else can take your power or happiness away.
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Breaking Up
E
ventually you will fi nd women that you like a lot but it can’t quite work out
with for whatever reason. Then you have to make the diffi cult decision
to break up with them…
Breaking up hurts. Especially when you really care about the girl. You will
always feel pain when you break up. It’s unavoidable and there is no quick
cure for it. Your brain has attached so many emotions to this person during
your time together that you will experience pain, grief and withdrawal from
the loss of those emotions. But you must remain strong. If you’ve chosen to
break up with someone, you made the decision for a reason and must be a
man and see it through. Life is full of such moments. Be decisive and fi nal.
The worst thing you can do is drag it out for months in limbo. You only hurt
yourself worse.
Try to avoid fi ghting and other drama when breaking up… you don’t need it.
Try to stay on good terms with her so that one day you can be friends. Then
completely stop seeing her for at least a few months so that the emotions
between you disappear. Then, if you want, you can get her back into your
life as a friend. In my experience this is the best thing to do. Personally, if
I spend six months or a year with someone it seems weird that we shouldn’t
see each other ever again.
In the past I tried all sorts of strategies to ease into a breakup and make it
less painful. Eventually, I found the easiest and most natural way to break up
is to just stop having sex with her. You become less and less interested and
she will understand what’s happening. She will feel that things have become
less intimate and sense that the relationship has no future. As a result, it will
transition smoothly when you tell her that you don’t think it should continue.
This is probably easiest and most natural way of breaking up. It’s totally nor-
mal that partners get tired of each other. If things are still passionate, she
will think it came from out of nowhere and be confused and hurt.
Then give them three to six months and invite them for coffee. It’s always
interesting how their life went after you, what they were thinking, feeling
and how long it took them to fi nd somebody else. I love to explore these
things just to learn more about women.
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If you are going through a break up and it’s very hard on you, the best thing
to do is get busy and occupy your mind with something else. Your emotions
will stay in a bad cycle if you sit around thinking about it over and over and
don’t interrupt the pattern with a new stimulus. In my experience the best
advice is to go traveling for a while and fi nd a new girl. This jump starts you
towards beginning your new life without her.
Threesomes
I
f you want threesomes, it’s easiest if one of the women is someone you’ve
already had sex with at least a couple of times. It doesn’t have to be that
way, but this is easier. The second woman can either be someone she knows
or (more usually) someone you introduce to her. It could also be someone
else you’ve already slept with.
Women’s emotions can be very sensitive, and unfamiliar experiences like
threesomes can make them go crazy.
Usually there is a “# 1 girl” in a threesome. This is the one who feels that
she has the deeper relationship with you. Be careful! If you’ve been dating
two women for a while and try to set them up in a threesome, they will each
think that they are the “#1 girl” and it might not go as well. A threesome is
not where you want women to fi ght over you. Make sure there aren’t going
to be territory disputes going on when you should be having fun.
So let’s say that your threesome is with Alexandra, who you have been dat-
ing for two months and seeing and having sex with her twice per week, and
Eva, who you just met the week before and had sex with twice.
Alexandra will be your #1 girl. You have to watch her emotions carefully.
Eva hasn’t known you for very long, so unless you said something stupid to
her, she knows that she doesn’t have a right to feel things about you as if you
were her boyfriend, like jealousy.
Make sure that your #1 girl – if she wants – gets more of your attention.
Make sure that you don’t do anything more intimate with the other girl(s)
before you do it with her. Be mindful and make sure at some point that she
is okay with everything that is happening.
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Alexandra may be worried about losing you. That’s okay in a relationship,
but don’t make that feeling intense during a threesome; it will spoil the fun.
Sometimes we want to use jealousy as a tool and let them know that they are
replaceable, but during the threesome is defi nitely not one of those time.
It’s much better to suggest to Alexandra that you and her share a woman
together, or that you want to see her with another woman, than to suggest to
her that you want to have two women at once. Make sure she feels special
and not replaceable while this is going on.
Become the King of Your College
F
or you college guys, this is something that’s been tested and proved as
pure GOLD. This works only if you are going to a new college, where the
majority of people don’t already know one another. There’s no need to have
some crazy skills to do this, everybody can do it, and it’s simple. It’s basically
a natural human process that you can use to improve your social life.
When young people come to college, most of them don’t know each other, so
sooner or later they will need to make friends or join an already established
group. Usually it takes a few weeks for those friendship circles to be formed.
After a few weeks, you will see many circles with 5 to 10 members in each
group.
Once they are formed, some of them will last until the very end of college
days, until graduation. It’s hard to manipulate already established groups.
The only thing you can do in that case is to join the group, but then you can-
not establish yourself as the leader, as you are a new member. The easiest
way to join an already established group is to pick one person from group
and create rapport with them. She or he will invite you to go and hang out
with the rest of the group. Then slowly you can create rapport with all the
other members and that way you will become an intrinsic part of that circle
of friends.
But I must say that this is not the way I like to do it. My style is more creating
a group and controlling it and that’s what I want to teach you.
The fi rst 7-10 days are particularly crucial. In those fi rst few days social
circles will be created. The goal is to create a social circle of 6-7 hot girls,
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make them friends, and establish yourself as a leader of the group. Can you
imagine the respect and admiration you get going to a club with 10 hot girls?
Basically, with this kind of social proof you can have any girl in the club.
Or have a house party and have them invite their other girlfriends. Soon you
will fi nd yourself living your life surrounded with hot girls. That’s the lifestyle
I am talking about. So let me teach you how to do it…
During the fi rst and second day of college people will be extremely friendly,
because they will be nervous and anxious in the new environment, the new
context in their life. Some of them will look lost, like sheep that have wan-
dered from the fl ock. They will feel lonely and they will have an incredible
urge to meet new people and make friends in order to remove the unpleasant
feeling of isolation and aloneness. You can use this knowledge to make a dif-
ference in your own life.
Don’t be shy; be friendly and outgoing towards them, there is no pressure to
seduce them or anything like that. You can go straight for rapport without
concerning yourself with attraction. It’s just about being friendly, cool and
normal and getting to know the people that you will spend the next few years
with. That said, don’t be weird and don’t talk about your obsessive computer
gaming habit and addiction to internet porn. You still want to seem like a cool
person
Naturally during these fi rst few days there will be many events, introductory
sessions, initial lectures and so on. Information is normally advertised clearly
in the college so you should get there early and make sure you know what’s
going on. When you go to one of these events make sure you try to sit next
to a hot girl that you want to befriend. Start a conversation, exchange some
basic facts about yourselves. Where you’re from, your hobbies, your family;
get them into some kind of conversation. Tell her you are looking for cool
people to hang out with and she fi ts the bill. Exchange numbers, hang-out
with her after the class or lecture, go for coffee or a drink. Just be friendly and
try to make new friends. Don’t try to pick them up! Not yet, anyway... You
can meet them in class, in the hallway, inside dorms. Wherever.
The next day or at the next class, do the same thing with a new hot girl. Sit
down next to her in the class, talk for 20-30 minutes, build rapport, hang out
with her afterwards, but this time invite the girl from before to join you. Or
more of them if possible.
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You will see as soon as you sit down with two girls that they will start to
connect. They are extremely good at bonding and creating rapport with
each other if they have a reason to. Especially hot girls, because they
have so many things in common that no one else understands. So, all you
need to do is isolate two or more girls somewhere and let them connect by
themselves.
Don’t hit on them or try to seduce them during the fi rst few weeks. The
social proof you create for yourself by hanging out with these girls will get
you tons of other girls. This is all about creating a lifestyle that will perpetu-
ally bring you chicks by itself. If you decide you want to take advantage of
some girl’s loneliness in the new situation, then by all means fi nd one and
seduce her. But don’t bring her into your group. Bringing a girl you’ve slept
with into your social circle can be dangerous. The other girls will not help
you fi nd girls since you are “taken” or the girl you sleep with can spread
rumors about you and destroy your reputation if you dump her. It’s better
to keep the two activities separate.
So over the course of 5-7 days, you can collect 6-10 girls into a social circle.
Gather them together at regular intervals. Once they get together, and
know each other (which should take one or two meetings) they will become
good friends. They will exchange phone numbers, emails and keep in con-
tact. You will see how they will later plan to study together, to exchange
books, scripts and essays for class.
After 10 days, try to get them together from time to time to go out together
partying. The more things you all do together, the better friends they will
become. Try to create events that will bond them together even more.
Naturally the more experiences the group has together, the more things
they will have to talk about tomorrow and the more reason they will have
to hang out the day after that. In this way it becomes self-perpetuating. Be
the ring leader and arrange these things to do.
Start organizing house parties and let your new hot friends invite their
girlfriends to the party. Because everyone likes you and because you are
their LEADER, chicks that come from outside the group will have automatic
ATTRACTION for you.
You can also take them to clubs. Have fun with them. Hug them and lead
them around. Other chicks in the club will notice this and trust me, they
will start hitting on you. Chicks always want to have what other girls have.
You can easily get to the point where you don’t need to pick up chicks at all,
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instead, they will be around you and you just need to choose which one you
want. Maybe this all sounds a bit complicated at the moment, but it’s much
easier to set up than you might imagine.
It is sometimes hard to organize a group consisting solely of girls. Usually
you will have one or two other guys inside, and that’s just fi ne as long as you
are the leader and you approve of them. When you go out those are the guys
who will be buying drinks for the girls. Also they protect the girls from other
drunken guys inside club that may hit on them. So basically, they can be use-
ful.
So if you organize everything and make decisions for the group, you think for
them. They will see you as the alpha male and they will naturally follow you.
Later on, if you want to, you can leave that social circle for another one. Usu-
ally from the circle a new person comes forward that will becomes its leader
and starts deciding everything for the group. Then you can jump into and out
of new groups to give yourself an even greater variety.
Types of Girls
W
e’ve focused on developing the qualities that are universally desired by
all women, but as we get good at seduction, we can look at what type
of girl we are dealing with and make some adjustments to appeal to her even
more effectively.
Everybody on this planet is different and unique; at least that’s what our soci-
ety tells us. In some ways it is true, but we can make some generalizations.
There are two main categories that you can sort women with to help you cali-
brate your game more effectively.
The fi rst category is a woman’s age. Women behave a little differently and
have different criteria in what they want from their men depending on their
age.
Between ages 19 and 24 is the PEAK for most girls. Those are the years
where they are going to assert their power sexually and be with a lot of guys.
They will experiment and try everything. Usually in those years, their confi -
dence will reach its peak because a lot of guys hit on them and fl atter them
with compliments. They love this kind of attention and it makes them happy.
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They are in no rush to be in a commitment and just want to feel good. The
constant positive feedback and attention from guys becomes addictive and
they want more. They want to be around guys that are fun, that are sexual
but who are also “higher” than them, because this is another form of feed-
back that they are valuable and desirable.
Later, as they get older, their bodies don’t look as good as they used to and
they get more frustrated. Their confi dence goes down because less guys
approach them and they are not as attractive anymore. They have less
and less guys to choose from. At the same time, they start to think more
seriously about their future and change the values they search for in a guy.
They start to search for guys who are marriage material; that means they
don’t search for guys who are just fun, adventurous and give them good sex
anymore. They start to search for a guy who is going to be a good father,
a guy who loves and wants children, a guy who is intelligent who she can
trust.
So, as a rule, rapport and trust are important elements in gaming older
women, while younger girls need more fun and attraction.
There are also physical types and emotional types. I prefer to call them
Party Girls and Emotional Girls. You probably know what I am talking about
and in your life you have met women who fi t in both categories. People are
complicated, but we’re talking about what their dominant personality traits
tend to lead them towards.
Party Girls thrive on stimulation and excess and like to try everything, sex,
drugs, alcohol, threesomes, etc. They are impulsive and live for going out
and having fun. They dress provocatively and are very fl irtatious. Usually,
they have multiple partners and don’t like long term relationships because if
they step into a relationship they will lose their crazy lifestyle. Mostly they
go for one night stands or short term boyfriends and “fuck buddies”. Party
Girls are often younger girls but not all young girls are as extreme in their
excesses as Party Girls. And some women stay this way into their later
years.
You will get Party Girls by projecting your confi dence, attitude and domi-
nance above them. Don’t make the mistake of trying to create rapport with
party chicks early on. As soon as they smell this type of rapport, they run
away. You must keep the attraction and excitement high all the time and
make rapport secondary to that.
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Emotional Girls are more subdued and down to earth. They are generally
searching for long term relationships. They don’t like one-night stands, but if
you do it correctly and create a strong connection, they will do it. They hang
out with a lot of friends because they gain comfort from going out in a group.
They search for a guy who is like them, a person who understands them. You
get them by creating quality rapport that makes them fall in love with you.
Most girls fall into the Emotional category but if you are out in hot clubs all the
time, you will meet a lot of Party Girls. If you notice that a girl doesn’t want a
relationship, like if she’s a party chick, don’t try too hard to connect with her
because she doesn’t want a relationship. Just try to show that you are just
like her; you like excitement and adventure. With party chicks you can create
good rapport simply by giving them excitement and good sex. That is the only
way that you will guarantee that they will come back to you for more.
Girls Around the World
W
hile traveling around the planet teaching our workshops, we have learned
quite a bit about how girls of different nationalities behave.
At the core they are the same, but every culture, every country is a little bit
different in nuance and inhibition levels. Be fl exible and learn to adapt and
take advantage of the situations that you encounter. Here are some of our
observations on the best places to go:
Australia
Beautiful country with beautiful chicks. They are much more easy going
and looser about sex than in Europe (probably the effect of sun and good
weather). Local girls are massively attracted to dominant guys. They are an
adventurous people and generally have a great sense of humor. You can be
very aggressive with these girls and get physical early on.
Also, lots of Swedish girls go on their “fuck tour” down there to escape the six
months of darkness during the Scandinavian winter. If you meet any of them,
do not talk too much. It’s “sexy time” as Borat would say.
Brazil
Brazilian girls seem very easy for sex if you look at them from our Western
cultural perspective. I wouldn’t say they are easy; they just love sex and they
have no social barriers against taking pleasure when they want it.
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Why? They don’t read as many glamour magazines and watch as many
bullshit TV shows as we do. They live more by their instincts and less by
social programming. If you go to Brazil, you may fi nd girls in Rio a little bit
tough because of the tourists hitting on them all day long. But if you go to
the countryside, they get easier and easier to seduce. Some of them speak
English, some not, but they all love Westerners and they are very, very
hot.
Croatia
Eastern European genes. That means zillions of hot girls. Most people think
Croatia is a very easy country for seduction. I wish that were true. The
problem with girls in the Croatian region is that they search for boyfriends all
the time. It is a very traditional country with a lot of conservative religious
beliefs, so when you seduce girls pay attention to building a lot of rapport
and communicate that you will stay with them afterwards (Which is totally
the opposite of what you’ll do in Sweden.)
During the summer it’s party mode, especially if you go to the islands like
Pag, (Croatian Ibiza) or Hvar, where its party all day long and there is a big
chance you will get laid. Czech and Slovenian girls are very popular for one
night stands during the summer. During the winter, 85% of the hot girls are
in relationships. That’s very IN nowadays. So from October- March is not
the best time for sarging. Go in the summer when the odds are best.
United Kingdom
In London, stay away from Leicester square and the West End area. It’s very
hard to pull in that area. Full of tourists and the hot girls don’t go out there
really, so you end up fi ghting with tons of horny guys for average looking
girls. If you live in London, go to clubs in the districts, local pubs or cocktail
bars; those are best places to pull girls. In general, girls in the UK are very
easy to open and are good conversationalists. The nicer more exclusive
places are where the hot girls go and you can fi nd girls of every nationality
in the world in this one city.
Or just go to Scotland. They are some of the easiest in the world. Very
dirty. ;)
Sweden
Probably the hottest girls in the world. Also, a very interesting country be-
cause of it’s strange dynamics. It might be the complete darkness in the
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winter that makes them weird. During the daytime, Swedes are conserva-
tive and not very social. But then, after midnight, when they start drinking,
things get pretty crazy. The girls can be a bit frigid until they loosen up after
a few drinks.
Then, the girls are the dominant ones and the men take a passive role.
Swedish men hate approaching and being extroverted. Swedish women of-
ten complain about it and sometimes approach men themselves. The guys
are often searching for long-term relationships, while the girls just want to
have fun. The girls have no problem with taking you home and using you for
sex. They are not used to dominant guys who know how to take control, so
when you give them a taste of it you can’t get rid of them.
Japan
What you see is not what you get! If you are into Asian girls, this is the
haven for you. They all look very innocent and cute but when you approach
they are really easy to seduce and when you take them home, they are some
of the sluttiest girls ever. Its a country of extremes, on the surface the girls
they are subdued and conservative but in actuality they are some of the
horniest girls around. You just need to open up that side of them and if you
are a Westerner they will practically throw themselves at you.
Malta
A very good choice during the summer if you like outrageously hot Russian
girls. They are massively attracted to guys with money and extremely domi-
nant guys, so play it tough and pretend that you have a shitload of money.
That’s about all the game you need. Just take what you have learned in this
book to an extreme and you have a strong chance of scoring a 19 year old
Russian perfect 10.
Putting It All Together
E
very girl you try to seduce will in many ways be similar to other girls, but
also in many ways different. There is always something new in every in-
teraction because of the number of potential variables. That’s why this game
is fun.
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One set may be four college party girls in a club, another may be a thirty
year old lawyer in a coffee shop, another a waitress in a restaurant. The
overarching principles you’ve learned in this book apply to all these situ-
ations, but you must also learn to make the right adjustments to accom-
modate the situation at hand. Flexibility is one of the most important
things in pickup.
In order to understand what I mean, let’s look at a strategy for seducing in
one of the most complex situations you may encounter. The Mother-Daugh-
ter situation; where a hot target is accompanied by her mother. Probably
you have seen this situation a bunch of times but you never had clue how
to solve it.
When I say it’s complex, that doesn’t mean it’s harder -- it just means that
it’s different and has more variables in play. You will need to use your emo-
tional and social intelligence here and also to be a little bit sneaky.
Usually, you will see this situation during day and we can generally assume
that the mother will be a pain in the ass if you hit on her daughter directly.
The solution is simple -- everything goes through the mother.
First you need to win over the mother, to get permission to seduce her
daughter.
Now, the tricky part is that:
We all know young girls (17-26) are attracted to exciting men who are:
Masculine
Dominant
Direct
Adventurous
Unpredictable
But the mother wants something else for her. She wants to fi nd a trustwor-
thy guy for her daughter who is:
Charming
Reliable
Nice
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Innocent
Predictable
They want opposite things. So the confl ict is, if you convey too much of the
nice, reliable traits, the mother will love you but the daughter will hate you.
If you convey unpredictability and dominance, the daughter will be turned on
by you, but the mother will hate you.
The Solution: Be everything at the same time... but do it step by step in the
right order to allow attraction and trust to unfold simultaneously.
You need to play this very smooth and very smart for it to work, but done
correctly, it will work like a charm.
Lets break it down:
1) You approach them with something Indirect, like asking about buying a gift
for your little sister.
2) You pay 80% of your attention (talking) to the mother until you go direct
on the daughter.
3) Convey to the mother that you are charming, interesting, intelligent with a
touch of masculinity. During the 20% of the time you spend on the daughter,
begin to “recognize” good qualities in her; that she is smart, charming, funny,
whatever...
4) If you are being gentle with the mother and have won her over, you can
then go Direct on the daughter...but through the mother.
Address what you “recognized” that you like about the daughter (smart,
charming, funny) and say, “I really like your daughter, do I have your permis-
sion to get to know her?” Or, “You have a very charming, beautiful daughter.
I am falling in love, do I have your permission to get to know her?”
5) If you did everything right, the mother will push the daughter onto you.
I’ve gotten the response, “Oh yes, yes, she hasn’t had a boyfriend for a long
time... please.”
6) Then focus on your target building Attraction and a little Rapport as you
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normally would. You may even use palm reading or another quick rapport
builder to accelerate comfort.
7) Talk with her for few minutes, get the phone number from the daughter
and say, “I have to go, but let’s continue this some other day.”
8) Stay a little bit longer after you get the number and cement the relation-
ship with the mother one last time, then eject politely.
“It was a pleasure meeting both of you, I really enjoyed the conversation.”
Then to the daughter with a wink, “I’ll give you a call.”
This structure has worked every time for this situation. If you pay attention
and read between lines, you will see that I installed a fl ake-defender with the
mother. If the mother likes you, she will push the daughter to go out with you
and will ask, “Did he call you?”, etc. She won’t allow her to fl ake.
I hope this explains how complexity comes into play in every set. Seduction
is not a completely linear “if-then” type of method. It’s not a computer pro-
gram. Its requires your intelligence, fl exibility and resourcefulness. Some-
times you win, sometimes you lose. We all do. But at the end of the day its
just a GAME. It’s supposed to be fun and the more you work at it, the more
rewards and women it will bring into your life.
So, get out there, stop making excuses and get to work.
Best,
BadBoy
Document Outline
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Table of Contents
- Other BadBoy Lifestyle Resources
- Preface
- PART I BadBoy Philosophy and the Seducer’s Mindset
- Part II Seduction Techniques
- The Structure of a Pickup
- Attraction
- Being Confident and Not Needy
- Being Adventurous
- Looking Good
- Be in Control
- Being Unpredictable
- Subcommunication
- Body Language and Non-Verbal Cues
- The Approach
- Approach Anxiety Is a Myth
- Side bar 2: Post from the Carpe Diem Forum
- Energy Levels
- The Go First Principle
- Improvising
- Contrast
- Indicators of Interest
- Shit Tests
- Rapport
- Comfort
- Trust
- Connection
- Wide Rapport
- Deep Rapport
- Phone Numbers
- Dating
- Understanding Flakes
- Should I Kiss Her?
- Handling Other Guys
- Buying Things
- Dancing
- “I Have a Boyfriend”
- Resistance
- Side Bar 3: Post from theCarpe Diem Forum
- Troubleshooting – Common Mistakes
- PART III Living the BadBoy Lifestyle Advanced Topics
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