Most coaches were born coaches. We naturally attract people who want our support and advice.
But, as is true with any profession, there is a learning curve in the process of mastering the coaching
skill set. This list is compiled from the experience of hundreds of coaches. All of these coaching
mistakes are fixable, once you become aware of them. As you find yourself making fewer and fewer
mistakes, your confidence will grow, thus adding to the power and effectiveness of your coaching.
Fortunately, we get to stand on the shoulders of hundreds of veteran coaches, a number of whom
helped compile this list.

Coaches generally make mistakes for two reasons. The first reason is that there has not been enough
formal or comprehensive training for coaches. A high level of competence can be reached via the
coach training available from one of the CoachInc.com training programs, accompanied by 2,000–
5,000 hours of coaching coachees. The second primary reason coaches make mistakes is because
we do not hear or see all that is occurring with the coachee, in the coachee’s life, or in a specific
situation. Situational training via CoachInc.com is very effective in helping the coach to easily and
immediately discern and assess the situation or needs. But we also need to evolve as human beings
in order to be aware of the many important nuances present in every coaching situation and in life.
This process takes time, individual coaching, and willingness. Having a mentor coach helps a lot
as well.

Coaching Mistakes:100
Mistakes You Can Avoid

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.

1. Wrong Focus

2. Weak Coaching

Focusing on the coachee’s goal or

achievement to the exclusion of the

person

Passively coaching and responding

during the coaching sessions instead

of asking for more (much more) from

the coachee

Working on wants and needs when, in

fact, the coachee’s integrity is way off

the scale

Focusing on tactical matters or details

when strategic coaching is needed, and

vice versa

Trying to help by sharing tips or tech-

niques when, in fact, the coachee just

needs to be heard

Being too nice or patient to the point

that you are not saying what needs to

be said

Getting led down diversionary tunnels

by your coachee because you can’t

see the real problem, opportunity, or

situation

Slipping into the role of motivator

or cattle prod instead of being the

collaborative partner

Letting coachees select goals that they

have not had much luck with in the past

Working too hard to make your

coachees successful instead of inspiring

or challenging your coachees to do that

for themselves

Getting sidetracked by a coachee’s per-

sonal stuff

Not setting specific enough goals or fo-

cusing enough on performance (unless

coachee wants a discovery-type focus)

Trying to push coachees through blocks

instead of helping them fully under-

stand the block’s dynamic

Not directly and immediately address-

ing the coachee’s personality problems,

communication flaws, bad attitude, or

resistance

Paying more attention to what the

coachee is saying than to his or her

behavior

Not knowing or asking the right

question(s)

Letting coachees set their coaching

goals without fully buying into them

Accepting what the coachee says at face

value, without clarifying or asking for

evidence

Forcing a topic the coachee does not

want to focus on, even if you feel it re-

ally needs to be discussed

Coaching all coachees the same way

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.

3. Communication Flaws

4. Egocentricity

Using jargon instead of simple words

Laying your tip, views, or agenda on the

coachee in your eagerness to help

Interrupting the coachee in a desire to

help or to save time

Not asking enough of your coachee be-

cause you are afraid of pushing him or

her too hard

Not interrupting a coachee who is

rambling on because you do not want

to be rude

Not asking your coachee to do more

than you would be willing to do in the

same situation (holding a coachee to

your limits)

Being blunt because you feel you are

correct, and not being mindful of its

possible impact on your coachee’s feel-

ings

Forcing your coachee to adopt your life

approach, principles, or beliefs

Using e-mail with coachees without

going out of your way to make sure

you add extra warmth, encouragement,

and respect

Getting your emotional needs met via

your coachees

Not taking responsibility for how you are

being heard

Taking or needing credit for your

coachees’ successes, even if you were

instrumental in the process

Not sharing the inklings you are hav-

ing—positive or negative

Thinking that your coachees should do

what you coach them to do because you

are the coach

Using a patronizing tone with coachees,

relating to them as people who need

what you have to say

Underestimating coachees’ strengths,

willingness, resources, and resourceful-

ness

Not hearing the often subtle clues that

coachees always give the coach about

what is most important to them and the

changes that they really want to make

Expecting more of coachees—because

you see their potential—than they are

truly capable of doing right now

Trying to teach a concept to the coachee

instead of just taking a piece of the con-

cept and showing the coachee how to

use it in a specific situation

Encouraging coachees to step out and

follow their hearts or pursue a dream

before they are emotionally ready or

financially responsible

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.

5. Coachee Management

6. Unprofessional Coaching

Practices

Letting the coachee consistently pay

late

Firing coachees because they are not

performing or succeeding

Trying to coach in a restaurant or other

public venue

Collecting a percentage or bonus based

on the coachee’s results

Not charging enough or charging too

much

Thinking your job is mostly to share

useful information and advice (as

opposed to being a full, collaborative

partner)

Assuming your coachees are not evolv-

ing and thus falling behind their chang-

ing or emerging needs

Telling coachees not to worry so much

or otherwise disrespecting them

Not tightly managing every logistical

aspect of your practice (billing, prompt

callbacks, etc.)

Taking sides with your coachee against

the coachee’s employer, spouse, friend,

or other person

Getting into business with your

coachees without first ending the coach-

ing relationship or having a very clear

partnership agreement

Getting emotionally invested in the out-

come of your coaching of a coachee

Assuming your practice will build

quickly and quitting your day job with

that expectation

Talking about a coachee to a third party

without having been cleared to do so by

the coachee

Telling the coachee about your personal

life, successes, failures, or problems, ex-

cept in the direct interest of the coachee

Hanging on to an unsuitable or unpro-

ductive coachee for the money

Letting coaching sessions run late or

making the coachee call back in a

“couple of minutes”

Fining coachees who do not take their

promised actions

Having call waiting or background noise

that the coachee can hear during the

session

Pigeonholing the coachee as a type

Coaching on a problem or subject that

you do not know enough about, unless

you first tell the coachee of your igno-

rance or lack of experience, and this

ignorance cannot hurt the coachee

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.

7. Marketing and New Coachee

Selection

8. Coachee Retention and

Coaching Flow

Overpromising results in any way

instead of underpromising or not

promising anything

Having even one bad coachee who is

causing you stress

Talking people into hiring a coach in-

stead of helping them to see or create

the value of coaching for themselves

Not continually planting seeds to help

the coachee see the next objective or

focus

Selling people on the value of coaching

instead of first selling people on them-

selves

Not helping coachees to see the con-

nection between a recent success and

the changes or evolution they have been

making

Working with a noncoachable coachee

or someone who is not emotionally

ready for coaching

Assuming that your coachees know or

remember how much they have ben-

efited from your coaching

Coaching friends or family members

Not periodically asking your coachees

to specifically tell you what to do differ-

ently or better so that they will better

benefit from your coaching because you

have become a better coach

Coaching coachees who need you or

coaching too much, thus creating de-

pendency or pressure.

Not knowing exactly what the coachee

feels you are contributing to the rela-

tionship and coaching process

Asking or pressuring current coachees

for referrals instead of finding more

professional ways to let them know you

have time for more business

Taking on more coachees than you have

the intellectual or emotional space for

(not just time for)

Not spending enough time learning

about your coachee’s learning styles

and ways of doing things

Failing to inquire why a coachee termi-

nates the coaching relationship and to

make improvements as a result

Not knowing what to say or do with a

potential coachee who calls you as

a result of a referral or web link

Assuming that, because you have made

a commitment to the coachee, the

coachee has made a commitment to

you

Assuming someone knows in advance

how to be a great or successful coachee

Not initiating or bringing up the themes,

issues, or foci that your coachees will

likely benefit from

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.

9. Erroneous Assumptions

10. Bad Advice

Assuming that X (situation, issue, stress)

is a problem for the coachee because it

is or would be a problem in your life

Telling the coachee what to do rather

than helping to create the plan/strategy

Assuming you can and should coach

anyone if they are ready, willing, and

able

Giving only one suggestion or option for

what could be done

Assuming that your coachees want or

are ready to be successful just because

they say they are

Giving the right advice at the wrong

time

Assuming that your coachees want to or

can hear your advice at any given point

if what you have to say is really good

Giving legal, psychological, or medical

advice without a license

Assuming your coachees are just like

you and need the same advice or type

of support that you would

Getting too personal with your coachee,

even if you are close

Assuming the coachee can get it quickly

instead of giving the coachee enough

time to process or accept your sugges-

tions

Referring coachees to other profes-

sionals when you are not adequately

familiar with their competency or

services

Assuming shared standards and bound-

aries

Using a one-solution-fits-all approach

for all coachees

Assuming that you are a terrific coach

and thus stopping your own learning

process

Making recommendations without hav-

ing all the relevant information and

knowing the needs of the coachee

Assuming that you have to know every-

thing about coaching before you can be

a really effective coach

Telling the coachee what will probably

happen as a result of following your

recommendation

Giving the same advice to all coachees

without customizing it

Copyright © 2005 by Coach U. Inc. www.coachu.com.