Profess Your Love

An interracial erotic romance (BW/

WM)

--Renee LaRuse--

Professor Rakell Dunn, 34, is one year into

being single after the end of an unhealthy 13-year
marriage, and seven years into a comfortable
teaching position at a community college in Phil-
adelphia. Her nonexistent love life and her hum-
drum work life are transformed once her hot Pol-
ish American student Jerzy Piotrowsky, 23, se-
duces her. His maturity, thoughtfulness and suc-
cess take cynical Rakell by surprise. Their strong
connection quickly leads to sizzling sex. Just
when Rakell and Jerzy profess to each other their
mutual desire for commitment, they learn that

their secret affair might be revealed to the school
and to the public. Their trust, confidence, and
loyalty are put to the test. If they can pass it, the
prize is an unforgettable lasting love.

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A ReneeRomance eBook

ReneeRomance.com

Copyright © Renée LaRuse 2011

All rights reserved. No part of this

publication may be reproduced, stored in a

retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form

or by any means, electronic or mechanical,

by photocopying, recording or otherwise,

without prior permission in writing from the

author.

5/275

I

On the first day of the spring

semester, Professor Rakell Dunn’s dark
brown eyes scanned the pictures of Russian
museums, palaces, gardens and city squares
on the computer screen in front of her. Her
elbow on the computer stand and her fist un-
der her chin, she glanced away from the
screen and at the students trickling into the
lecture hall. Every year, every semester, the
group of new students looked exactly the
same as the one before. And it had been sev-
en years. Seven years of her life had been
spent teaching to the underwhelming stu-
dents of the Simmons County Community
College in Pennsylvania. Seven years of
wearing a uniform of long pencil skirts and
demure heels, and wearing her hair up in a
claw clip. Rakell’s focus drifted back to the
images on the computer. Since she was a

junior in high school she had dreamed of
backpacking across Europe. She’d start in
Spain, go to France, hop over to the Nether-
lands, say hello to the Swedes, explore Rus-
sia, tour Turkey, fatten up in Greece and
then walk it all off in Italy. The nations in
that part of the world had such a richness of
history and culture and a simple approach to
happiness: food, fresh air, and family.

She’d wanted to go Amsterdam for

her honeymoon. She mentioned it whenever
possible after Marshall proposed to her. One
of the reasons she married Marshall was be-
cause he was successful enough as a lawyer
that he could travel every year if he wanted
to. Rakell had never had the time or the
money during college and graduate school to
visit her favorite continent. After the wed-
ding, Marshall surprised Rakell with a hon-
eymoon trip to Vegas. Looking back, that
honeymoon was the first red flag that their
entire marriage was going to revolve around

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his needs. Her bank account was always at
six digits, but her emotional and physical
needs were swatted aside, including her
dream of traveling and her desire to have
children. Marshall was disgusted by what he
coined her “needy, miserable bullshit”. Like a
forgotten house plant, she withered away in
the large house they shared. She’d been di-
vorced from him a year and a half and now
lived in her own townhouse, but she still felt
like Marshall’s wife, a woman who should be
grateful for whatever someone was kind
enough to fling her way.

Her eyes brightened as she scrolled

down a webpage full of photographs of St.
Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow. Its whimsical
domes, shaped like pearl onions and decor-
ated with bright colors, made it such a ma-
gical and iconic building. Rakell thought it
looked like a place chocolate and candy
would be made. A trip to Europe would be
amazing…if she were 15 years younger and

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20 pounds lighter. At 34 years old, she’d only
make a fool of herself trying to keep up with
the other young trekkers. Her left knee was
going bad, she couldn’t handle her liquor and
her bedtime was 10.

The sound of whispers pulled Rakell’s

gaze away from the computer screen. She
was surprised to see the room was filled with
students. She looked at the time on the com-
puter screen: 9:35. Class was supposed to
start at 9:25. Her face went hot. How long
had all these kids been staring at her? She
immediately

straightened,

closed

the

browser and walked from behind the com-
puter stand. Tugging nervously at her dark
gray pencil skirt, she put on a smile. “Wel-
come, class, to English Lit 2016. I’m Profess-
or Rakell Dunn…” Her bare feet stepped onto
the laminated wood at the edge of the plat-
form. She looked down at her naked feet.
“And I should be wearing shoes,” she
thought aloud. The students chuckled as she

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ran tip-toed back to the computer stand and
slipped her feet into her black suede kitten
heels. “Where was I?” The blush on her
cheeks slowly faded away as she gave the stu-
dents an introduction to the class, explaining
the syllabus and answering questions about
what to expect of exams and writing assign-
ments. Lastly, she began the mandatory first
day roll call. There were 92 students in her
class. Roll would take a while. Three quar-
ters of the way down the list, she came upon
a decidedly western European name.

“Jerzy Piotrowsky?” She smiled a little

at how the name felt rolling off her tongue.
Rakell looked down from the platform to see
a handsome young student sitting in the
front row smile at her and nod. Rakell’s eyes
danced down his form, from head to toe, tak-
ing it all in. Short dark brown hair in sleek
waves, sparkling green eyes, soft lips,
chiseled jaw and cheekbones, a light beard,
toned biceps and long legs; all of it made her

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jaw go slack. When he spoke, the timbre of
his voice made her stomach flutter.

“I appreciate that you said it correctly,

with the J pronounced like a Y, but I actually
prefer it to be pronounced incorrectly. I’ve
gotten used to it,” he chuckled. He didn’t
have much of a European accent. His speech
was very American, but there was still an
exotic air about him, a unique cadence to his
voice.

Rakell felt her face heat up for the

third time that morning. She smiled shyly.
“Jerzy it is.” She saw his green eyes trail
down her smooth brown legs. He met her
eyes again. His gorgeous friendly smile be-
came seductive. Rakell looked quickly down
at the attendance sheet. It took her longer
than it should have to find where she’d left
off. She could feel all the students staring at
her, especially Jerzy. She cleared her throat.
“Jenna Polito?”

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At the end of class, Rakell walked

down the steps from the stage to the lecture
room floor and stood waiting for any stu-
dents who might have more questions. She
fiddled with her nails as she held her hands
behind her back. From the corner of her eye,
she noticed Jerzy standing up from his seat.
She didn’t let herself look at him. Most of the
students bustled out the door, but a
studious-looking redhead walked up to her
while adjusting his loaded backpack.

“Hi, Professor Dunn. Tim McAllister.

I’m really looking forward to your class. I
was wondering…” His nervous eyes fell to the
shoulder of Rakell’s white blouse. “Would
you happen to have a copy of the first book
on the syllabus that I could borrow for the
beginning of the semester? I won’t be able to,
um, afford any more textbooks. I just started
a new job and I won’t get paid until next
week, and my financial aid…”

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“Tim, I understand. No need to ex-

plain. I was a college student once. I
wouldn’t mind giving you a copy of mine, but
it’s at home. I promise to bring it to campus
tomorrow during my office hours, 3:30 to
4:45 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I could
give it to you then. Is that okay?”

“Excuse me,” Jerzy interjected. Rakell

held her breath as he walked towards her. He
wore a burgundy V-neck shirt and dark
jeans. The strap of his khaki messenger bag
hugged across his broad chest. He glanced at
her a second and then turned his eyes to
Tim. “I couldn’t help overhearing. I could
buy the books for you if you want, dude. If
you’re like me you want your own book. You
want to be the first person to truly appreciate
it, to scan your eyes across the smooth crisp
pages, bury your nose in it for the new book
smell, have the authority to be a little rough
with it if you want, you know, dog-ear some

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pages, underline good lines, and write your
name inside the front cover so that everyone
knows it’s yours and yours alone to enjoy.”
Jerzy gave Rakell a quick, hot glance.

Rakell swallowed. Everything about

her new student was dangerous and sensual.
The way he described a new book… Rakell
sobered herself. He couldn’t have been sug-
gesting something about her. She wasn’t a
‘new book’. She was an old, banged-up book
with a creased cover and yellowing pages.

Tim looked at Jerzy, shocked by his

offer. “I appreciate that you want to help, but
I can’t accept it. That’s too much, man. I’ll be
okay.”

“No, it’s not too much. Don’t think

about the money. I run my own business, I’m
good, trust me. This is a win-win situation.
It’ll make my day.”

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“Uh…” Tim looked at Rakell for guid-

ance. She shrugged her shoulder and nod-
ded. “Okay. Okay, I’ll take you up on that.
Thanks!” He held out his hand to shake
Jerzy’s. “Tim McAllister.”

“Jerzy Piotrowsky, but you can call me

JP.” He shook Tim’s hand firmly. “I’ll meet
you at the bookstore in five minutes. I need
to speak with Professor Dunn here.”

“Alright. Have a good day, Professor

Dunn.”

“You too, Tim.”

As soon as Tim turned around to walk

away, Jerzy stood directly in front of Rakell.
His height and beautiful green eyes made her
nervous.

“Mrs. Dunn. I’m very excited about

taking your class this semester.” He smiled.

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Her jaw clenched. “It’s Ms. Dunn.”

“Mmm. Divorced?”

Rakell narrowed her eyes. “Yes. How

did you know that and why is it any of your
business?”

“I assumed that a woman like you had

men chasing her down the street with en-
gagement rings.”

“You assume wrong. Bookish black

women are not a hot commodity. Never was
and probably never will be.”

“A beautiful woman is a beautiful wo-

man, no matter her skin color and no matter
how much she tries to hide behind her
work.”

Rakell swallowed. “You should go.

Tim is waiting for you.”

“Tim can wait.”

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“Then I’ll go.” Rakell walked quickly

to the platform steps. She felt Jerzy’s eyes on
her as she climbed them, went to the com-
puter stand, and gathered her things. As she
walked out the back door of the lecture room
she heard his disappointed goodbye.

“See you later, Professor Dunn.”

17/275

II

The following day, Rakell sat at her

desk in her small office. Bored, she opened a
drawer in the desk and fished out a bottle of
pink grapefruit colored nail polish. She
kicked off her tan kitten heels and propped
her foot up on the side of the open drawer.
Rakell leaned over and began to paint her
toes. It was the beginning of the semester.
Students never visited her during office
hours unless they had a grade to complain
about. She’d have almost two hours to do ab-
solutely nothing. And as always, when she
had nothing to do she thought about abso-
lutely everything. Back in college, she’d ima-
gined that in her thirties she would be living
a vibrant life full of love, success, adventure

and family. In all four of those areas she’d
failed.

Family: Her mother and older brother

were still in Texas and still zealots. Growing
up in a strict, evangelist home had pushed
her to the edge of insanity. Guilt, fear, shame
and self-hatred birthed suicidal thoughts.
When she’d finally had enough of her mother
and brother’s damnation rants, she took a
hint from her absent father. She packed her
meager belongings, got into her ’89 Nissan
Pulsar and started driving north. The goal
was New York, but her car conked out in
Pennsylvania.

While waiting tables in Philly to save

up money for NY, she met Marshall. He was
handsome, well-off and interested in her. He
flew her out to New York for a shopping
spree on their second date. It wasn’t long be-
fore she lost her virginity to him. When he
asked her to marry him, she agreed partly

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because she felt a moral obligation to do so.
Marshall changed after they got married. Be-
fore, he wanted lots of kids. After, he said he
wasn’t ready, too busy with work and later
said he didn’t want to have kids because he
didn’t think she was competent enough to
raise a child since she didn’t cook or clean
“like his mother did”. Yet, somewhere in
between their arguing about starting a fam-
ily, Marshall managed to get another woman
pregnant during their marriage.

Success: Rakell could’ve been teach-

ing at a university and making a bigger
salary a long time ago, but Marshall had re-
fused to move. Now, her self-esteem was so
low that she wasn’t sure she could handle the
rejection if she applied to a university and
was denied. In her mind, it was better to stay
here at the community college where she felt
safe…even if she was also miserable.

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Adventure: Besides her road trip from

Texas to PA, a shopping trip to New York
and a honeymoon in Vegas, she hadn’t ex-
perienced her idea of an adventure. She
wanted to go to other countries. See more of
the world. But she didn’t want to do it alone.

Love: Maybe she would always be

alone. After her divorce was final, she went
on a dating spree. What she found was pig
after pig, dog after dog. She didn’t want to
have sex until she knew more about a guy,
but the guys she met wanted it the other way
around and grew bored with her and acted
downright disrespectful when they couldn’t
get any. She thought she was once in love
with Marshall, but it hadn’t been true love.
Rakell was looking for real love, like two
puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. Mag-
netic, electrified puzzle pieces. Magnetic,
electrified, puzzle pieces that had glittery
wings and Cupid arrows. Rakell laughed at
her weird imagination. Her smile faded

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away. It seemed like true love was just as
imaginary as the puzzle pieces. Men didn’t
want anything beautiful and lasting. They
just wanted to screw and have fun. Rakell
was beginning to think she should, too.

Why was she acting as though she was

still a virgin? Her body wasn’t going to look
any better with each passing year, so why not
enjoy it now? Why not celebrate her freedom
and femininity? It was a waste of time to sit
around and be consumed with passion, wait-
ing for Mr. Right, when all she would ever
get was a Mr. SlamBamThankYouMa’am.
What she needed was a Mr. SBTYM who
could make her grin and say, “No. Thank
you!” And if he looked like that Piotrowsky
kid, she would greatly appreciate it. An older,
more mature, much less arrogant and non-
student Piotrowsky would be perfect. Or
would it? She’d probably feel just as insec-
ure, uncomfortable and afraid as she felt
around her sexy student.

22/275

A knock at the door startled her. Her

hand jumped, causing her to paint her entire
pinky toe with nail polish. “Damn.” She
reached across her desk and quickly grabbed
a tissue to wipe it off. “Come in!” she called
to the person at the door as she bent over her
foot and cleaned away the excess nail polish.
She sat up in her chair to find Jerzy standing
in the doorway, wearing an open blue vest
over a white V-neck shirt and light blue
jeans. A small black knapsack was hanging
off one muscled shoulder. Rakell’s face
drained. She swiveled too quickly when she
turned her chair. Her bad knee smacked into
the side of the desk. She gasped, balled her
hand into a fist and then bit down on it to
stifle a cry of pain.

Jerzy closed the door behind him.

“Are you okay?” He rushed around the desk
and knelt beside her. “Was it this knee?” He
massaged at her knee with the warm

23/275

fingertips of his large hand. The sensation
was electric. Rakell gave his hand a hard
slap. He pulled the hand away, but he re-
mained on his knee in front of her, watching
her face. Eventually she dropped her fist
from her mouth and inhaled a few breaths.

“Better?”

She nodded, not looking at him.

Jerzy’s eyes scanned down her body

as he stood up and walked from behind the
desk. He smiled. “I like the new color on
your toes.”

“What do you want, Mr. Piotrowsky?”

Her eyes snagged onto the sight of his white
shirt sleeves stretched by his lightly tanned
biceps, and the way his jeans hugged just
right onto his backside.

24/275

He plopped down into the chair in

front of her desk. “That’s a deep question.
Could you be more specific?”

She rolled her eyes. “What do you

want from me?”

His green eyes sparkled with mischief.

“I want you to know that Shakespeare,
Milton and Swift are my favorite writers, so I
am sure I’m going to love being in your
class.”

Rakell chewed on the inside of her lip

and blinked at him. “That’s nice. Those are
some of my favorites as well. Is that all you
wanted to say?”

“No.” His expression became serious.

“I think that…there is something you need
that I would be more than willing to give
you.”

25/275

Shivers traveled up Rakell’s legs. “W-

what?”

“You just have to tell me what it is.”

She stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Don’t you think we would very much

appreciate each other on an intimate level?
I’ve already planned some passionate even-
ings for us in my mind, but I’m always will-
ing to negotiate.”

“Holy shit! You’re a gigolo?!” Her fiery

Texas twang emerged. “How dare you! Just
because you’re young and attractive you
think you can take advantage of older wo-
men? Get out of my office!”

A boyish grin lit up his face. His eye-

brows rose. “You find me attractive?”

“Oh my goshhhh. Pleeeease, leave!”

“But I’m not a gigolo. I swear.”

26/275

“Oh. You’re just sleazy for no reason?

That’s wonderful. Get out.”

“Sleazy?” Jerzy frowned with his per-

fect lips and rubbed at his stubbly chin. “I
thought you would find my approach sexy
and mature. And refreshingly honest.”

“There is nothing refreshing about

your game. Same game, different guy, differ-
ent day. I’m sick of men trying to take ad-
vantage of me. Do I have Desperate Divorcée
written on my forehead?”

“How can I take advantage of you

when my feelings are on the line as well?”
The sincere look on his handsome face made
Rakell’s body feel weak.

A lump formed in her throat. She

laughed nervously. “You’re not going to quit,
are you? You think I’m that stupid.”

27/275

“No, you’re intelligent, which I find

incredibly sexy. Your skin is perfect, your
body is shapely, your features are striking…I
think you are a beautiful woman that doesn’t
know herself, and I want to be the one to
teach you a new way to feel. You should be
smiling every day.”

Rakell sprang up from her chair and

stood frozen. “Stop doing this to me.” Her
eyes watered. “Please.”

He stared up at her a few moments.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke softly. “It was never my
intention to make you cry. I thought compli-
menting you would make you smile, but you
don’t believe a word I say.”

“You’re damn right I don’t believe a

word you say! And even if I did, you are my
student. This is severely inappropriate. I
don’t ever want to see you in my office again.
Is that clear, young man?”

28/275

Jerzy clenched his chiseled jaw. “Crys-

tal clear.” He stood up from the chair and left
her office, closing the door quietly.

Rakell fell into her chair and stared at

the door. Still shocked, she grumbled, “How
old is that bastard anyway?” A quick search
in the school database from her computer
answered her question. “Twenty-three!”

Later, after most of her nerves re-

settled, Rakell grabbed her purse and left the
office for the day. She saw Alisa, a reception-
ist and a college junior, at the front desk.
Rakell’s office door was straight down the
hall from the front office, so as soon as she
opened her door, Alisa would look up at her
and Rakell would have to smile at her, awk-
wardly, until she walked down the entire
hall. Alisa refused to break eye contact like a
normal person.

29/275

“What’s that guy’s name that just left

your office?” Alisa’s big blue eyes grew bigger
with curiosity.

“Jerzy Piotrowsky.”

Alisa wrinkled her button nose.

“That’s very ethnic…No offense.” Alisa’s face
brightened. “He’s hot though, so I’ll make an
exception.” She toyed with the tip of her
blond hair which was in a side ponytail.

“Did he ask you out?” Rakell inquired.

“No,” the receptionist pouted.

Rakell looked the blonde over. She

was an aerobics princess, perfectly toned,
petite with big boobs, bubbly and flirtatious.
“That’s strange.”

“I know! I think maybe he’s shy or

something.”

30/275

Rakell nodded. Not even, she thought.

“See you tomorrow, Alisa.”

“Smooches, Professor Dunn!”

31/275

III

Rakell sat cross-legged on her couch,

nibbling at a flavorless microwave dinner
and discussing the events of the last few days
with her best friend Darcelia Hutchinson.
Darcelia was a broadcast writer for Channel
9 News. The two ladies met one another at a
company dinner. Darcelia was married to
Neil Hutchinson, a lawyer at Marshall’s firm;
Dunn, Hutchinson and Locke. Dee reminded
Rakell of Selma Hayek, except taller and
thinner with a short black Halle Barry hair-
style. They tried to have lunch once a month,
but Dee was so busy with her career, her
husband, her three kids and her meddling
mother-in-law to guarantee Rakell even a
monthly lunch date.

“…and earlier he’d told Tim that he

ran his own business, so when he told me all
this shit about ‘There’s something you want
that I can give you’ and ‘plans’ and ‘negoti-
ations’, I was like, ‘Oh my god, you’re a
gigolo!’”

Darcelia laughed loudly. “Hermana,

you didn’t!”

“Yes! He denied it and said some non-

sense about having his feelings on the line,
but I don’t believe that crap. What does a
student want from a teacher other than a
passing grade? What’s a 23-year-old boy
want with a 34-year-old woman other than
sex or money?”

“Wait. He said he had feelings for

you?”

“No, no. He said, um, something like

‘How can I take advantage of you if my

33/275

feelings are on the line, too?’ He even said he
found me sexy. Complimented my body and
my features. Said a woman like me should be
smiling every day. I called bullshit on his
flattering lies then I kicked his perfectly
sculpted ass out of my office.”

“Oooo. Wow, he sounds really hot,

even though he’s not your usual type. I don’t
know how you stopped yourself from jump-
ing him in your office.”

“I’m not in the habit of straddling

men that bring me to tears.”

“Well, there was Marshall.”

“Shut up, Dee.”

“Sorry. When did Pretty Boy make

you cry?”

34/275

Rakell sighed and shoved a piece of

cold chicken into her mouth. “When pretty
lies came out of his pretty mouth.”

“Uh oh. I know that crying makes you

angry, Kellie. Maybe your reaction was be-
cause of how you were feeling, not necessar-
ily what he said.”

“Maybe,” she grumbled. Rakell felt

guilty as she remembered glaring down at
Jerzy and belittling him. She’d been harsh.
“It’s because he embarrassed me. I already
feel lonely and past my prime. I don’t need
him to remind me of everything I don’t
have.” Tears came to Rakell’s eyes.

“Chica, sweetie, listen to me. You’re

not going to like what I’m about to say, but
you need to hear it…Marshall trained you
well, but he’s moved on, so tell me why
you’re still acting like his bitch?”

35/275

Rakell gripped the phone tight as

tears cascaded down her cheeks. “How ‘bout
you tell me why you’re being such a bitch to
me, Darcelia?”

“Because I love you,” she answered

gently. “That’s why I’m going to let you live
after calling me out my name. I love you.”
Darcelia chuckled.

“Love you, too.”

“Think about what I said, Kellie.”

“Okay.”

“Rakell?”

She sniffled. “Yeah?”

“You should be smiling every day.”

With that she hung up. Rakell dropped the
phone onto the empty couch cushion beside
her. She’d been going through the motions of
being a single woman. She moved into her

36/275

own place, bought a new car, and started
dating, yet she didn’t feel free. Her life still
wasn’t hers. Dee was right. Mentally, she was
still on a leash, confined to running the same
circular patch of lawn, repeating the same
tricks Marshall had taught her: Down, girl.
Bad, girl. Sit. Stay. I said stay! Bad, girl!
You’re no thoroughbred. No one else wants
a disobedient mutt like you! You ain’t been a
puppy for years. It’s not cute anymore so
quit your yapping! Stupid bitch.

“Marshall still owns me?” A shiver of

disgust snaked up her spine. “Get out, get
out, get out!” she shouted, as if it would ex-
pel the remainder of Marshall’s brainwash-
ing from her mind. Restless and feeling viol-
ated, Rakell got up from the couch, threw
away the rest of her dinner and headed for
the bathroom to take a shower. As she let
down her shoulder-length hair and un-
dressed, she tried to look at herself in the
mirror. Every time her eyes fell to a part of

37/275

her body she was insecure about, intense
anxiety caused her to look away. Her ex-hus-
band had made her feel so undesirable that
for years she couldn’t bear to see herself na-
ked. Tears came to her eyes. “This is my
body, dammit,” she whispered. She forced
her gaze to remain on her body in the mirror,
frightened to have to really look at the im-
perfections she knew were there. The longer
she looked, the higher the anxiety climbed,
but then it began to lessen. Her breathing
slowed. Her heart rate came down. Then her
jaw dropped. It wasn’t so bad!

She turned to the left and to the right.

She held out her arms. She poked out her
butt. She sucked in her stomach and let it
back out. Yeah, she had fleshy thighs that
had a little cellulite on them, yes, her hips
were wide for someone who’d never birthed
a child, yes, her stomach wasn’t perfectly
flat, and, yeah, her breasts were on the small
side. But it wasn’t half as bad as she’d felt it

38/275

was all this time. “I can’t believe it. I have a
figure.” Rakell put a hand on her hip and
posed in the mirror. “I could really be hot.”
She imagined herself in a formfitting red
dress and sexy stilettos. She felt…stupid.
Where was she going dressed like that? With
whom? What did it matter if she went out on
the town in such fabulous attire? She’d be
approached by the same old shitheads. Even
if she began to feel attractive on the outside,
there was still the same woman on the in-
side. How do you change your insides?
Rakell didn’t know where to start.

Jerzy said that he could teach her a

new way to feel, but she was sure he was only
suggesting sex. Mostly sure. She’d only been
with one man; Marshall. Would sex with an-
other man give her confidence? If her new
lover decided to be done with her, would the
self-confidence leave with him? Rakell didn’t
want to end up more broken than she
already felt. She just wanted to feel good for

39/275

once, from her head down to her toes. She
remembered

Piotrowsky’s

words:

“I’ve

already planned some passionate evenings
for us…”

Rakell stared at herself in the mirror.

She imagined Jerzy standing behind her,
caressing her naked body. He had one arm
around her waist, pressing her tight against
his frame, and the other arm was across her
chest, his hand claiming her left breast. His
green eyes met hers in the mirror. He set her
body afire with his gaze. That seductive smile
of his stretched across his lips as he lowered
his mouth to her neck. Rakell blinked and
Jerzy vanished. She stood there breathing
hard for a moment, then ran as quickly as
she could into her glass shower. The cold wa-
ter blasted onto her skin. “Ay!” She shivered
under the freezing spray. Rakell sighed. A
cold shower was supposed to calm her lust,
but it just made her nipples hard and made

40/275

her wish for the comfort of a warm male
body even more.

The next morning in class, Rakell

began her lectures on Shakespeare. With all
her effort she tried to keep her gaze away
from the front row, but Jerzy’s rugged mas-
culine energy could not be ignored. Ten
minutes into the lecture, Rakell found herself
staring into his eyes from where she stood on
the stage. Her stomach jumped and then her
face flushed with shame. Her gaze had drif-
ted in his direction because her weak ego had
hoped he’d give her a seductive smirk or sul-
try stare. Instead she was met with an innoc-
uous expression, the same half-engaged look
she got from all the other students. Class
after class, she was faced with her own des-
peration when she looked over at her stu-
dent, wishing more from him than was fair

41/275

to ask of the young man she’d verbally as-
saulted for saying she was beautiful.

Rakell assigned the first writing paper

to her English Literature class three weeks
into the semester. Their grades were disap-
pointing. The highest grade was an 82 per-
cent. Thursday afternoon, Rakell sat in her
office and braced herself for a blitzkrieg of
whiny, neurotic students. She left her office
door cracked open and went about entering
the new grades into the computer. A head-
ache began to form at the center of her fore-
head as she squinted back and forth from the
grade spreadsheet on her desk to the com-
puter monitor. There was a soft knock on the
door. Rakell leaned back in her chair and
rubbed at her temples. “Come in,” she called.
Jerzy stepped into her office holding a bou-
quet of bright pink daisies with yellow cen-
ters. He smiled and shut the door behind
him. Rakell’s heart began a happy dance in

42/275

her chest. She swiveled her chair away from
the computer.

He pointed at her. “Watch your knee.”

Rakell grabbed onto her desk to stop

the chair’s movement. She looked down at
her bad knee. It was an inch away from col-
liding with an edge of the solid wood desk.
“Thanks,” she whispered. She stood up from
the chair. “Can I help you?”

Jerzy walked around the desk to her,

his green eyes never leaving hers. He filled
out his simple blue t-shirt and jeans in a way
only an impeccably fit male can. He stood
before Rakell. She could smell his sumptu-
ous cologne. “I know you said I wasn’t wel-
come in your office, but I wanted to give you
these.” He handed her the bunch of cheery
flowers.

Rakell tried to hide her smile as she

accepted the bouquet. “What are they for?”

43/275

“To apologize for what I’m about to

do.” He stepped closer, gently gripped her
waist with one hand and pulled her to him.
With the other hand he cupped the side of
her face and then he pressed his lips to hers.
The strength of his hand at her waist and the
power of his kiss caused Rakell to melt into
his warm body. Her now sensitive breasts
were pressed against his hard chest. Her
whole body was thrilled by the feel of his
tongue sliding across her bottom lip and
then diving inside of her mouth. She kissed
him back, hungrily. His light beard brushed
against her chin, sending a hot shiver up her
spine. Jerzy broke the kiss, pulling his in-
credible lips away from hers. He searched
her eyes. His thumb caressed her cheek. He
smiled some, seeing that Rakell was just as
out of breath as he was. “You’ve been driving
me crazy, Rakell,” he whispered. “The way
your skirts show off just the right amount of
your legs, so sexy but still classy. Your lips

44/275

are softer and sweeter than I’ve been imagin-
ing every day that you’ve graced the
classroom with your smile. And it’s not fair
that you set your sad eyes on me in class. I
can’t help but give you what you want when
you pout at me like that.” He studied Rakell’s
face. Her eyes were round with surprise and
wet with emotion. She had a vice grip on the
green stems of the pink daisies. Rakell swal-
lowed. “Sorry,” Jerzy said as he stepped
back. “I don’t mean to overwhelm you.”

Rakell looked away. She reached for

the arm of her chair. Her legs still weak, she
carefully sat down in the chair and set the
flowers on her desk. “Please, sit down,” she
offered in a quiet voice, and waved a shaky
hand toward the chair in front of her desk.
Her thoughts were a wild jumble of shock,
longing and fear. It scared her how deep her
desire and affection was for him. Something
inside her began to blossom when he
touched her. Even though she knew it was

45/275

impossible for a young man like Jerzy to be
sincerely interested in a woman like her, in-
tuitively she trusted him. Still, whether she
trusted him or not, it was wrong to think of
him as anything more than her student.

Rakell finally lifted her eyes. “I know that

you’re just trying to pass this class,” she said
gently. “You shouldn’t have kissed me and I
shouldn’t have kissed you back. I’ll pretend
that this never happened if you do the same.
Okay?”

Jerzy was sitting at the edge of the

seat. His brows wrinkled, then relaxed. He
chuckled. “I have an A in your class.”

Rakell opened her mouth, but she was

speechless.

He shook his head. “Why is it so hard

for you to believe that I honestly like you?”

A lump formed in her throat. She bit

at her bottom lip. “We’re so different...”

46/275

His mouth bent into a slight frown.

“How do you know?” He combed his fingers
through his dark brown hair as he leaned
back in the chair. “We haven’t had the op-
portunity to really talk. I would love to take
you out to dinner tomorrow night.”

“Dinner?” Rakell’s heart fluttered.

“Where?”

“It’ll be a surprise.”

“If you don’t tell me, I won’t know

what to wear.”

“That’ll be a surprise, too,” he

grinned. “So you accept?”

Rakell contemplated Jerzy. He was

very handsome, but, strangely, he didn’t
seem to know that about himself. For reas-
ons Rakell hardly understood, he was inter-
ested in her. And his plans for tomorrow

47/275

evening were a secret. He was a mystery she
craved to solve. A date with him was an ad-
venture she couldn’t turn down. She smiled.
“I accept.”

When Rakell left the office for the day,

Alisa looked at the pink daisies with curiosity
and a hint of jealousy in her blue saucer eyes.
“Why did he bring you flowers?”

Rakell erased the silly smile from her

own lips. “Students really know how to suck
up these days.”

Alisa

nodded.

“Daisies,”

she

whispered to herself, followed by a pout.
“Smooches, Professor Dunn.”

Keep your smooches. Jerzy

already gave me some.

48/275

IV

Jerzy arrived at Rakell’s townhome at

exactly 7 o’clock, dressed in gray designer
slacks, a black short sleeved button down
and black boots, and carrying a large white
boutique shopping bag. He smiled at Rakell,
taking in her blue tank top, white yoga pants,
light makeup, and curled hair, and then gave
her a kiss on the cheek. “Hi, Beautiful.”

“Hey, Handsome,” Rakell smiled as

she stepped aside and allowed him into the
house. She was surprised to see him lower
his eyes. His cheeks even became a little pink
under the brown facial hair. She was taken
aback by his humility. “Have a seat on the

couch.” She closed the front door and then
sat beside him on the cream suede loveseat.

Jerzy smiled and shook the shiny

white bag in his hands before handing it
over. “I hope you like it.”

“If there’s a G-string and two pasties

in here, I’m going to smack you.”

He smirked. “Damn. I didn’t even

think of that. It would have been worth the
pain.”

Rakell pulled the white tissue paper

out of the bag and her fingers touched silky
fabric. The garment was a deep red color.
She held her breath as she lifted the delicate
dress from the bag. She gasped when she
held the dress up with both hands and
watched the fabric unfurl. “Jerzy…It’s
perfect.”

50/275

“I described your figure to the sales-

woman. I hope you feel comfortable in it.”

Rakell smiled playfully, tempted to

ask Jerzy how he described her body to the
saleswoman. “I’ll go try it on and we’ll see.
Would you like something to drink?” She
stood.

“I’m fine, thanks.” He rubbed his

hands together. “I’m just ready to see you in
that dress.”

Rakell laughed and walked away to

her room with an extra swish to her hips. She
rolled her eyes and chuckled at herself when
she realized how she was acting. She’d never
been so sexually flirtatious with a man be-
fore. Probably because she’d never felt so
sexually frustrated before. Growing up in a
religious and authoritarian home, she’d
learned to repress carnal desires. Even after
a year and a half now of no sex, her latest

51/275

experiences dating men did not leave her
wanting them the way she wanted Jerzy.
Though her eyes appreciated their hand-
someness, her body remained cold. There
was something more between Jerzy and her
that Rakell couldn’t explain. Rakell went into
her bathroom, removed her casual wear and
slipped into the red dress in front of the wide
bathroom mirror.

The dress had wide shoulder straps as

well as a halter strap that went behind the
neck. The bodice fit her chest perfectly and
the tailoring of the dress slimmed her
middle. The luscious red fabric floated away
from her body at the hips and ended just
above her knee. Rakell turned around and
looked over her shoulder. The dress had a
long inverted triangle cutout made of red
lace that started at the neck, went down her
back, and ended at her tailbone. She studied
her butt in the mirror. “It’s never looked bet-
ter,” she whispered to herself. She faced the

52/275

mirror again and grinned. How did he pick
out such a perfect dress for me? It was like
he knew her body, knew her better than she
knew herself. It was a frightening, beautiful
feeling. Rakell found some bobby pins and
put her hair up in the back, leaving the curls
out around her forehead and at her temples.
She ran to her closet and found a pair of
bronze open-toed heels. As she moved
around her room for her clutch and an extra
spritz of perfume, the fabric of the dress slid
across her thighs and hugged at her breasts
in a way that stirred her longing. It was like
Jerzy was touching those places of her via
the dress. With a confidence she’d never felt
before, she went back to the living room to
reveal her dress to Jerzy.

His mouth fell open when he saw her.

His warm green eyes scanned over every part
of her again and again as he stood from the
couch and walked towards her. Rakell turned
in a circle so that he could appreciate her

53/275

from all angles. Smiling, Jerzy stood a foot
away from her with his hands held in loose
fists at his sides, as if to restrain himself
from touching her. Speechless, he closed the
space between them and leaned in for a kiss.
Rakell lifted her chin and parted her mouth
in anticipation. She was caught off guard
when he kissed her on the cheek instead.
“We’ve gotta make it out of this house,” he
murmured against her cheek.

Rakell laughed. “Okay.” She took his

hand, he laced his fingers with hers, and she
led them out of the townhouse. In her drive-
way, parked behind her red Acura TL, was
shiny all-black new model Camaro. Jerzy
opened the passenger door for her. Rakell
slid into the warm black leather seat. Jerzy
got in and started the car. The deep rumble
of the engine took Rakell by surprise. As
Jerzy reached for the gearshift, Rakell saw
his eyes sneak a glance at her thigh. She
turned her face and looked out her window

54/275

to hide her grin. She expected him to peel
out of her neighborhood and show off the
power of his Camaro, but Jerzy rolled out of
the driveway and began a smooth ride to the
city.

“Can I get a hint about where you’re

taking me?”

“You’re going to the best Polish res-

taurant in Philly.”

“Mmm, I love pierogies. So, are

you…?”

“Polish? Yes. Third generation.”

“Do you speak Polish fluently?”

“Yep.”

“I could tell that you speak another

language. You have a very faint accent at
times.”

55/275

Jerzy glanced at her and thickened his

accent considerably. “Do you like it?”

She pressed her lips together to quell

her smile. “I think you know the answer to
that.”

Jerzy turned his smiling eyes back to

the road and gave the Camaro more gas. Fif-
teen minutes later they were downtown.
Jerzy drove up an alley behind two buildings
and parked his car in a spot marked
‘Reserved’.

“You’re not afraid you’ll get towed?”

“Not from my own parking space.”

Jerzy could see the questions rolling around
in Rakell’s mind. He didn’t offer any answers
for fear it would ruin the surprise. He got out
and opened her door. She stepped out, her
bronze heels sparkling in contrast to the
black asphalt. With his hand at the small of
her back, they walked toward the busy

56/275

sidewalk at the end of the alley. Rakell could
see older couples dressed in suits and
dresses going past on their way to a restaur-
ant, museum or a show. She saw groups of
twenty-somethings hurrying to bars and
clubs in their tight jeans and leather jackets.

A young couple walked past, arm in arm.

The boy was tall, lean, and pale with tattoos
that went up his neck and met his curly black
hair. The girl was blond and reminded Rakell
of Alisa the receptionist.

A sudden spike of anxiety hit Rakell in

the chest and sucked the air from her lungs.
Her legs came to a halt and tears clouded her
eyes as her mind received a dose of reality: If
anyone from the college saw her with Jerzy
tonight, she could be fired. She doubted
she’d be able to quietly resign. The story
would be too juicy to keep under wraps, es-
pecially because of the color of her skin. It
would hit campus, the local news, even the
national news. It would reach Marshall, her

57/275

mother and brother, and the deans and pres-
idents of other schools. This could haunt her
and Jerzy for the rest of their lives.

“What’s wrong, Rakell?” Jerzy stood

in front of her, his back to the bustling side-
walk ahead, and searched her eyes.

Standing in Jerzy’s shadow, Rakell

began to tremble. “I can’t.”

“You’re shaking.” Jerzy gently rubbed

her shoulders. “Talk to me.”

“Take me home. I can’t be seen with

you.”

Jerzy paused. He nodded, under-

standing. “Where I’m taking you there won’t
be anyone from school. I promise.”

“They’re going to think I’m irrespons-

ible, immoral, a whore…” Rakell could barely
catch her breath.

58/275

“You’re not any of that, Sweetheart.”

Rakell felt dizzy. She grabbed onto the

waist of Jerzy’s black button down shirt. “I…I
need to go…I think I’m gonna faint or
something.”

“Rakell, you need to breath.”

She felt lightheaded. Jerzy’s face

began to blur and sway in her vision. “I…”
Her legs began to go limp.

Jerzy wrapped his arm around her

waist and held her against him. “No, Rakell.
Breathe, please. You gotta breathe.” He
began to panic as he watched her eyes be-
come unfocused. Jerzy shoved his hand
between her thighs. He got the desired re-
sponse, a gasp. His hot fingers moved further
up her red dress. He found the crotch of her
panties and massaged his thumb against her
lips. He found her clit. Her response was a

59/275

bigger gasp and her eyes widened and fo-
cused in on his. He added a little more pres-
sure and speed to his intimate touch.

Rakell dug her fingers into his side

and grabbed his wrist with the other hand.
“Stop,” she breathed. She was panting. Her
body was hot from arousal and shame.

The palm of his hand and the pads of

his fingers brushed across her inner thigh as
he slipped his hand away. “I didn’t want you
to pass out. Please don’t be mad at me or feel
embarrassed.” He hugged her closer.

Rakell looked away from him and

down at an oily puddle on the ground. “How
can I not be embarrassed? I let you put your
hand up my dress in a dirty alley in front of
dozens of people.”

“Look at me. No one saw anything.

And if there’s anyone that you should think

60/275

less of for this, it’s me. Not you.” He sighed.
“I’m sorry. I’m stupid.” He frowned.

A small smile pulled at Rakell’s lips.

“No you’re not. Not more stupid than I am,
anyway. I don’t know why I agreed to go out
to dinner with you. If anyone sees
us…”

“I know.” Jerzy held her face in his

hands. “I promise to protect you, no matter
what. Do you trust me?”

“I trust you,” Rakell heard herself say.

“Okay. Come on. Let me feed you,” he

smiled. He put his arm around her shoulder
and Rakell ducked her head against his firm
chest as they walked to the end of the alley
and entered the current of people on the
sidewalk. A few strides later, Jerzy stopped
in front of a restaurant with soft white light
glowing behind the white rice paper shades
in its windows. The name of the restaurant

61/275

was in a clean black contemporary font,
framed by a red kiss print.

“Smak,” Rakell read the name aloud.

“It means ‘flavor’ in Polish.” Jerzy’s

arm slipped from around her waist to reach
inside his pants pocket. He pulled out a set of
keys and began to unlock the door.

Rakell’s eyebrows jumped up. “This is

your family’s restaurant?”

He smiled. “This is my restaurant.”

“Wow! You own this?” Rakell stepped

inside the restaurant.

“This place is

beautiful.”

“Thank you.” He locked the door be-

hind them.

The dining furniture was all black teak

and black leather. The square tables were
covered with pristine white table clothes.

62/275

Red and clear crystal chandeliers hung from
the ceiling and a few accent walls were wall-
papered with a modern European folk art
flower pattern in white and red. The place
was classy and inviting, but it was empty on
a Friday night.

“Why haven’t you opened yet? It’s

already 8.”

He took both her hands in his. “I

closed the restaurant for a private dinner
with a special guest.”

“What?” Rakell shook her head.

“Don’t do this. Don’t let me interfere with
your business, your livelihood, and your em-
ployees’ livelihoods. I’m not that important.
I’d rather have dinner at my place.”

“I let my evening staff have the night

off, paid vacation. Two of my chefs and my
best waiter are here. I wanted you to feel
safe. Essentially, it’s just you and me in this

63/275

restaurant. I promised to protect you, right?
That’s what I’m doing. I’m also spoiling you,
which can’t be helped.” He brought her hand
up to his mouth and kissed the top of it.

Despite the joyous fluttering in her

stomach, Rakell was afraid. She pulled her
hands away. “I’d prefer that you didn’t spoil
me. It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want
to feel like I owe you, and I definitely don’t
want you to feel that I owe you something at
the end of the night.”

Jerzy shrugged his shoulders and

shook his head. “I thought you said you trus-
ted me. Now suddenly I’m sleazy again?”

She felt guilty at the sight of his disap-

pointed expression. She hung her head. “It’s
not you. I do feel like I can trust you, but I
don’t trust my feelings. My trust has been be-
trayed too many times.” She lifted her gaze.

64/275

“I understand completely.” Jerzy

studied her sincerely. His deep voice warmed
her. “Have dinner with me.”

“Yes,” she answered.

He directed her to a table at the

middle of the room. There was a single red
rose lying on the white table cloth. Once
Jerzy pushed her chair in and she was
seated, she picked up the rose, inhaled its
fresh fragrance and pressed its soft petals
against her lips. Jerzy sat across from her
and admired her for a moment before calling
the waiter from the kitchen. Jerzy ordered
wine, pierogi and quite a few other dishes
Rakell had never heard of before.

“How did you come to own this amaz-

ing restaurant? You’re only 23.”

Jerzy chuckled. “Apparently you’ve

done some research on me already. You
know my age.”

65/275

She laughed. “You caught me. I looked

up your age in the school database, but that’s
all I know. I didn’t Facebook stalk you, I
swear.”

“I’ve made my own money since I was

12 years old reselling videogames and action
figurines I bought at thrift stores and garage
sales. I was always a bright, resourceful kid.
One entrepreneurial business led to another
and another until finally when I was 19 I was
making six figures as founder of a dating
website and owner of two music stores in Al-
lentown. For two years I did whatever I
wanted. I thought I was invincible. I moved
to Philly, rented a penthouse apartment, I
drank, I partied, I wrecked my Thunderbird
twice, and my parents were reasonably wor-
ried about me. Especially my mother. A few
days after my 21

st

birthday, my mother was

diagnosed with cancer. Three months later
she was gone. It took her passing to wake me

66/275

up to see how self-centered and stupid I had
been. I realized that I could have shown
more gratitude to my mother for being my
rock and I could have given her more. I could
have helped her with the dream she had of
opening her own restaurant, but I always put
it off, thinking I had more time.” He paused
to finish his glass of wine. “Last year, I sold
the music stores and the website and decided
to open Smak as a tribute to her. I made my
dad the manager and my younger brother is
the promoter and PR rep.”

“Jerzy, that’s incredible. I’m sure your

mom would be very proud. I admire you. I
wish I had your initiative.”

“Thanks.” He smiled but Rakell could

tell he wasn’t comfortable taking the
compliment.

67/275

“You have this successful business.

Why are you taking classes at a community
college?”

“It’s a combination of boredom, a

longing for a little of the college experience I
never had, and still wanting to make my
mom proud. If I’d paid attention in class and
made better grades back in high school I
could’ve been accepted to a university. But
then I wouldn’t have met you.” He flashed
his handsome smile.

The waiter returned and soon the

table was crowded with plates of food. Rakell
tasted some of everything. She learned how
filling Polish food was, with its various meat
dishes, potato dishes, and cream sauces.
“Everything is so good! Stop me if I start
clearing a plate all by myself.”

“These are all my mother’s recipes

with a few modern twists.”

68/275

“I don’t know how you ate like this

every day and didn’t have to roll yourself
from the table.”

“I was very overweight as a kid,

actually.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. You’re so fit now that I

assumed you were always, um, healthy.”

“I started hitting the gym when I was

18. I lost 60 pounds of fat, and I’ve gained 20
pounds of muscle, but I’m still that chubby,
insecure kid inside.” He puffed out his
cheeks.

She laughed. “Aww. I had the opposite

problem. I was very, very skinny as a teen-
ager and I got picked on for that. I’m cer-
tainly not skinny anymore.”

“Nope. You’re just right.”

69/275

Rakell looked down at her food, feel-

ing shy.

“Do you have kids, Rakell?” Jerzy re-

filled his wine glass.

For some reason the question stung.

“Would it be a problem if I did?”

“Not at all. I love kids.”

“No, I don’t have any. I wanted chil-

dren. My ex refused. I see now that it’s a
blessing I didn’t have kids with him. He
wasn’t a good husband so why did I think he
would be a good father? I hope he turns out
to be a good father because he got a girl
pregnant while we were married.”

Jerzy gripped the stem of the wine

glass between his thumb and pointer finger
and started to slowly spin the glass back and
forth. “I’m glad you’re not with him

70/275

anymore. Do you still want to have children
someday?”

“Yes.”

He smiled. “Good.” Jerzy finished off

his glass of wine and poured himself
another.

Rakell was surprised by his reaction.

Why was he pleased to know she wanted
children? Was he thinking about settling
down with her? Rakell had assumed that his
intentions only extended into the near fu-
ture. Though it would be wonderful to fall in
love and be loved by the handsome, well-off,
intelligent, mature and charming young man
sitting across from her, it was too dangerous.
She’d be taking a risk with her heart and her
reputation.

“Jerzy,

I

need

to

know

something. Tell me honestly, what do you
want with me?”

71/275

His striking green eyes softened. “I

want to make you happy.”

He sounded so sincere. Rakell felt the

stirrings of tears behind her eyes. “And then
leave, right?”

He hesitated, looked down at the sip

of red wine left in his glass. “If that’s what
you want.”

She crossed her arms across her chest.

“Why on earth would I want that?”

“Every woman I’ve been with wanted

out eventually.”

“How many women have you been

with?”

“Four.”

“Only four?” Rakell had only been

with one man but Jerzy was gorgeous. He
could have a different woman every week.

72/275

“You’ll be surprised to hear that I am

usually a gentleman. I don’t see sex as casual
or recreational and I like to take things slow.
You, however, are an exception to my slow-
and-steady practice. Something about you
sends me into overdrive, makes me reckless,
impatient, a beggar.”

Rakell’s heart raced. A current of heat

swept down from her chest, across her stom-
ach and made contact with the sensitive
areas that Jerzy had awakened in the dark-
ness of the alley. To know that she was driv-
ing Jerzy wild was just as empowering as it
was weakening. In that moment, she admit-
ted to herself that his male urge to take her
was equally as strong as her womanly desire
to be taken by him. Both of them were strug-
gling to maintain control of the attraction
flowing between them. “Why did they want
to leave you?” she asked out of confusion.

73/275

He sighed. “Um…,” he scratched at his

cheek, “I want to say that they just weren’t
right for me, but I’m the one that made them
not right. I pour my entire self into the rela-
tionship. All my efforts go into making my
woman feel beautiful and strong. I spoiled
them and complimented them until they
were built up so tall that they started to be-
lieve they deserved someone better than me.
Or they can’t accept how deeply I care about
them. Lots of women say they want a guy like
me, but when they have me they walk all
over me or run away. Either I’m too good to
be true or too nice to be respected. It’s the
bastards they want to stay with. It’s the
dudes that make them feel like shit that get
ten years of their devotion.”

“In my case, thirteen years.”

Jerzy’s mouth tightened into a disgus-

ted grimace. “I’m letting you know right now,

74/275

for his safety, you shouldn’t ever tell me his
name.”

Rakell smiled, flattered by his loath-

ing of the man who hurt her. Her smile faded
as she thought of Jerzy’s heartache. “I under-
stand how you feel about your past relation-
ships. It’s torture to give and give and give,
only to be spat on and thrown away.”

He nodded. “Sometimes I wish I knew

some other way to be.” He poured more wine
in his glass.

“Are you sure you should drink anoth-

er glass of that wine? You have to drive me
home.”

Jerzy froze in the middle of bringing

the glass to his mouth. “You’re right. I’m
sorry.” He put the glass down and pushed it
away from him. “I swear I’m not a drunk,” he
laughed, “I’m just nervous.”

75/275

“Nervous?”

“Yeah.

You

make

me

nervous,

Beautiful.”

She blushed. “Oh come on! You have

been nothing short of bold from the day we
met.”

“Yeah, well, lust makes a man very

bold. But I’m feeling something deeper than
lust right now. Something important. I sus-
pected there would be a connection. Now I’m
sure. I’m nervous I’ll say the wrong thing,
come on too strong and scare you off.”

Her smile was soft and loving. “I’m

still here.”

Jerzy exhaled a silent sigh of relief

and contentment. He grinned. “I’ve been
bold, yes, but if I had approached you in a
sweet and quiet way, you would have treated
me like a sad, misdirected little puppy.”

76/275

“You’re right. You know me so well,”

she laughed.

“It feels that way.” He nodded.

Rakell fell silent.

“I have accomplished a lot in my life

already, but there is still a piece missing. One
missing puzzle piece. I wonder if it’s you. I
hope that it’s you.”

Rakell’s heart leapt.

“Sorry. That was an example of me

being too intense. It’s customary that you
sprint out of the restaurant now,” he
chuckled.

“Don’t be sorry. You’re being honest.”

She drank some water and dried her lips
with the white cloth napkin. “Jerzy, you
are…the strangest man I’ve ever met,” she
chuckled lightly.

77/275

Jerzy laughed. “I’ve heard that one

before!”

“By strange I don’t mean weird. I

mean that you’re different than most men
I’ve known. It’s hard to believe that you’re
real…let alone believe that you’re interested
in me.”

“I’m real and I’m incredibly interested

in you, Rakell. And it’s hard for me to believe
that you’re interested back.”

“You are the sweetest man I’ve ever

met.”

He nodded and smiled some, uncom-

fortable with her praise.

“I can’t make you any promises, Jerzy.

I’ve only been with one man. I’m not sure I
know how to be in a good relationship. I’m
not sure what I’m doing with my life or even

78/275

who I really am. I know that there’s an
emptiness in my heart that craves attention,
appreciation, respect, generosity, and love
from a good, trustworthy man. From
someone like you. I hope I can accept what
you are offering me.”

“The only way to find out is to keep

walking down this path together.”

At the end of the night, Jerzy held her

hand in his as he walked her from his car to
the front door of her townhouse. Rakell held
the long stemmed red rose in her other hand.
His hands settled comfortably on her waist
once they were standing on the porch. The
heat of his hands and the circular movement
of his thumbs enlivened her whole body.
“May I have a good night kiss?” he teased.

“Of course.” Rakell kissed the side of

the rose and then pressed the rose against
Jerzy’s lips. They laughed.

79/275

“Rose petals do not compare to your

sweet mouth,” he complained.

Rakell giggled. “Okay, okay. You can

have a taste if you’d like.”

He pulled her in against his body,

gazed into her eyes for a few long hot
seconds, leaned in and gave her a mild peck
on the lips. He pulled away and smirked.

Rakell blinked up at him. “That’s it?

But—”

Jerzy’s lips crashed against hers,

silencing all complaints. His tongue delved
into her mouth and Rakell submitted to his
skill. He slowly sucked at the tip of her
tongue, coaxing her tongue into his mouth.
He stroked at it again and again, elevating
her excitement with each flourish of his
tongue. His hand was gliding sensuously
across the silky fabric of her little red dress,

80/275

up and down her back, closer and closer to
her backside. He pulled his tongue away and
gently nibbled and sucked at her bottom lip.
Rakell shivered, struggling to reign in her
lust. Her legs were parting. Her groin was
pressing closer to his. She wanted to invite
him to bed, but she was afraid and ashamed
to allow it. She needed some time to think, to
process what their conversation at dinner
meant without his charming smile and firm
body clouding her judgment. She broke the
kiss. “I can’t,” she breathed.

“Okay,” he whispered. He planted an-

other soft kiss on her lips before loosening
his hold on her and letting his hands slip
away from her body. “Dobranoc.”

“Dobra…?”

“It means ‘Good night’. Dobranoc,

Rakell.” His eyes were dark with desire.

81/275

“Dobranoc,” she repeated with a

dazed smile on her face. She opened her
clutch purse and fumbled for the key to the
front door. She could feel Jerzy’s fiery gaze
on her back. Finally she had the right key in
her hand. As she pushed it into the lock she
felt Jerzy near her. Before she could turn
around his hand was on her stomach and he
pulled her behind firmly against his groin.
Rakell’s abdominal muscles tensed and her
eyes fluttered closed as pleasure shot
through her body. His hardness was pressed
against her backside. He graced the nape of
her neck with a touch from his warm lips.
“I’m ready when you are,” he whispered. He
rubbed his hand on her stomach in a slow
circle. He could feel her tension. His touch
was not relaxing her as he’d hoped. His need
for her was agonizing, but he wasn’t going to
pressure her. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Beauti-
ful.” Reluctantly, he released her and went to
his car.

82/275

Though her fingers were shaking, her

panties were damp, and her thighs were
quivering, Rakell managed to open the front
door and retreat into the house just as the
rumble of the Camaro’s engine cut into the
quiet night air.

83/275

V

Early Saturday morning, Rakell sat at

her dining room table with her legs curled up
in the seat of the wooden chair. She nursed a
lukewarm cup of green tea as she stared
down at the blank piece of paper sitting in
front of her on the table. She hadn’t slept
well. At around 6:30 in the morning, she got
out of bed determined to make a decision
about Jerzy, about continuing down the
path. It was now almost 9 o’clock. The paper
and pen sat untouched, with a plate of toast
crumbs and a half empty mug keeping it
company. She’d intended to make a Pros and
Cons list, but found herself afraid to start. If
she began the list, she might find that the
negatives outweighed the positives and her
heart wasn’t ready to face that. Instead, over

and over again she replayed her interactions
with Jerzy, from the second her eyes met his
on the first day of class, up until their con-
vergence last night outside her front door.

Rakell had never wanted a man the

way she wanted Jerzy Piotrowsky, to the
point of stubbornness and recklessness. Her
whole life she worried about what other
people would think of her. She’d almost fain-
ted last night thinking about how others
would react. But today she didn’t care. Her
life was empty of the family, adventure, suc-
cess and love that she dreamed of. What did
it matter if her life as she knew it crumbled?
Maybe something beautiful and strong
would rise from the ashes. For so many years
she’d followed someone else’s rules. It was
time she followed her own. Rakell picked up
the pen and began scribbling the first rule
down. She read it aloud. “Rule #1: As long as
you’re not hurting anybody, do what makes
you happy.” She smiled and dropped the

85/275

pen. Rakell realized that no other rules were
necessary. The one person she worried about
hurting was Jerzy. If their thing became pub-
lic it might ruin his business reputation. She
couldn’t live with herself if she destroyed his
passion. As long as she kept their meetings
private, Jerzy would be safe. Other than that,
she saw no reason she shouldn’t continue
seeing him. Happy tears trickled down from
the corners of her brown eyes. “He makes me
happy. Fuck the rest.”

Jerzy called Rakell that afternoon

while she was out buying groceries. She
could detect the smile in his voice.

“Hello, Beautiful. Did you sleep well

last night?”

She grinned. “No, thanks to you.”

“Sorry. I didn’t either, thanks to you.”

“It’s only fair.”

86/275

He laughed. “I can’t get you out of my

mind, Rakell,” he sighed in his deep voice.

Butterflies took flight in her stomach.

“It feels good that someone is thinking of
me.”

“I owe you an apology for my behavior

last night. I genuinely like you and respect
you. I just wasn’t thinking with the right
head. I will never attack you like that again.”

“Hmmm. Never say never.”

There was a pause. “Are you joking?”

She giggled. “Nope.”

“Where are you? If you’re home I can

be there in twenty minutes,” he laughed.

“I’m at the grocery store. Sorry.”

87/275

“So, um, I was wondering if you’d be

busy this evening, around 6? My aunt is on
vacation and she left me the key to her apart-
ment to keep the plants watered and make
myself at home if I choose. She lives on the
top floor of her building and she has this
beautiful terrace garden I want you to see. I’ll
feed you, too. How’s that sound?”

“Suddenly my schedule is empty.”

“Awesome,” he chuckled. “I can’t wait

to see you.”

“Be patient.” Rakell stopped her shop-

ping cart and stooped down to pick up a sack
of flour from the bottom shelf.

“Alright. I’ll pick you up at 6. Take

care.”

“Okay. See you later, Jerzy.” As she

stood with the flour in her hand, she lifted
her eyes to see her red-haired student Tim

88/275

McAllister standing right in front of her
shopping cart. She gasped.

“Professor Dunn. How are you?” He

smiled uncomfortably.

“Good.” Rakell swallowed, shoved her

cell phone into her purse and put on a smile.
“I’m just getting my shopping done. How are
you?”

“I’m great, stocking up on Ramen.

Were you…were you just on the phone with
JP?”

“JP?” She feigned confusion.

“Yeah. Jerzy Piotrowsky?”

“Oh! Yes, that, uh, that was him. If I’d

known some of my students would be so
neurotic about my assignments I would have
never put my number on the syllabus.” She
forced out a chuckle.

89/275

Tim smiled. “I see. Well, enjoy your

weekend Professor Dunn.”

“Thanks. See you Monday.” Tim con-

tinued walking down the aisle. “Shit,” she
murmured under her breath. She needed to
be more careful. No using Jerzy’s name
while out in public. She’d told Tim a little
white lie. Her office number was on the syl-
labus, not her cell number. Hopefully Tim
wasn’t so nosy that he’d ever figure it out.
Rakell started to feel the weight of guilt and
shame, but pushed the inclination away. I
didn’t hurt Tim. I’m not hurting anyone.

Half an hour later, Rakell was home

putting the groceries away. Her cell phone
rang. It was Jerzy.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Hey, Sweetheart. Uh, I’ve got bad

news.”

90/275

Rakell’s heart sunk. “What? Did Tim

say something to you?”

“Huh?”

“I…I ran into Tim McAllister at the

grocery store while I was on the phone with
you.”

“No, I didn’t talk to Tim. You think he

knows?”

“I’m not sure. I told him you were

calling me about schoolwork.”

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart. He’s cool.

Even if he knows, he wouldn’t talk about it.”

She exhaled in relief. “Okay.”

“The bad news is that I’m going to

have to cancel our date tonight. I got a tip
from a friend of mine, another restaurant
owner, that some really important food

91/275

critics are going to be making their way
downtown tonight to checkout Smak. I’ve
gotta be there to make sure everything goes
well. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m sure the critics

are going to fall in love with the restaurant
the way I did, so don’t worry too much,
Honey.”

“Thanks. That’s just what I needed to

hear. Are you home right now? I have a gift I
want to give you.”

“Is that what they’re callin’ it these

days?”

“No!” He laughed. “Nothing like that.

It’s a consolation gift since I’m canceling on
you.”

“I see. Yeah, I’m home. When will you

be here?”

92/275

“Forty minutes or so?”

“Okay. I’ll be waiting, Santa.”

He smiled. “Christmas comes early for

you because you’ve been a very good girl.”

“Hmm. Or is it because I’m very

naughty?”

“Mmm. I’m learning that you are a

perfect combination of both. See you soon,
Beautiful.”

Grinning, Rakell ended the phone

call. She was really enjoying herself with
Jerzy now that she had The Rule firmly
planted in her mind. Playfulness and affec-
tionate words naturally flowed throughout
their conversations. As she put away the last
of the groceries, she worried about what she
should change into. She wished she had time
to go to the mall and buy a new outfit. Noth-
ing she owned seemed good enough. “Wait a

93/275

minute,” she grumbled to herself. “I’m happy
in my tank top and jeans.” The only change
Rakell made was to change her stud earrings
to a more stylish pair of blue and white
feather earrings to match her white tank top
and light blue jeans. When she answered the
front door, Jerzy kissed her on the cheek and
walked into the house wearing a black Ar-
mani suit with a white dress shirt, no tie. A
small blue gift bag dangled from his hand.

“You look so handsome,” Rakell

smiled as her eyes appreciated his thick
shiny brown hair, neatly trimmed facial hair
and the impeccable suit he was wearing.

Jerzy grinned, crinkling the corners of

his expressive green eyes, and closed the
front door behind him. He kissed her on the
cheek again as he squeezed her in a tight
hug. “Thank you.” He stepped back from her.
“This is for you.”

94/275

She took the tiny blue gift bag and

searched inside of it. Her eyes widened at the
gold plastic card in her hand. “A credit
card?”

“It’s a gift card. I want you to go out

with your girlfriends to the mall, shop and
have fun today.”

She held the card from one corner like

it was contaminated. “Um…how much is on
here?”

“15.”

She sighed. “That’s a relief. Thanks.”

She smiled. “I’m sure I can find a really cute
top for 15 bucks.”

Jerzy laughed. “No, hundred.”

“What?! $1,500? I thought I told you

that I don’t want to feel like I owe you

95/275

anything. All I want is to spend time with
you. You don’t have to spoil me like this.”

He rubbed her bare shoulder. “And I

told you that I can’t help myself. You deserve
much more than these little things I’m giving
you, but it makes me truly happy to see you
appreciate them.” His warm hand slid down
the length of her arm and caught her hand.
He pressed his lips to the top of it. “I’ve gotta
get to the restaurant. Relax and pamper
yourself, okay?” He headed out the door.

Rakell finally unfroze and started to

chase after him. “Wait, I can’t accept this!”

“Yes you can. You want to. Have fun,

Sweetheart, and I’ll drop by as soon as I
can.” He got into his black Camaro and drove
away. Rakell broke into a cold sweat. Her
throat was constricting. Thirty minutes ago
she was wishing she could hit the mall. Jerzy
was giving her exactly what she wanted, so

96/275

why was she panicking? She went back into
the house and called Darcelia.

“Hi Rakell! What’s up?”

“I went on an intense date last night

with that student I told you about. Jerzy. I
thought about it, and I’ve decided I’m going
to keep seeing him. I want to be happy, and
as long as we stay safe it shouldn’t be an
issue.”

“Oh my gosh! Yesss! I’m so excited for

you! You need this, Rakell. You need
something

new,

something

daring,

something freeing and sexy.” She lowered
her voice. “Did ya’ll have sex yet?”

“Almost.”

“No? So why do you sound so guilty

right now?”

97/275

“Turns out he owns Smak, that amaz-

ing Polish restaurant downtown. He’s got
money and he loves spending it on the spe-
cial girl in his life. He just stopped by and
handed me a gift card with almost two grand
on it and told me to go have fun at the mall
with my friends.”

“I love him already!”

“Instead of feeling happy, I feel naus-

eous. What’s wrong with me, Darcelia?”

“You’re scared because he’s reminding

you of Marshall.”

Rakell squeezed her eyes shut. “Yeah,

you’re right.”

“That bastard thought that he’d

bought you or something. Then when you di-
vorced him, he had the nerve to weasel his
way out of alimony when you earned triple
the little amount you were asking for after

98/275

suffering through thirteen years of his bull-
shit. Do you really see similarities between
Marshall and Jerzy, or are you just having
flashbacks?”

“Jerzy is the sweetest guy I’ve ever

met, Dee. Ever. Marshall gave me gifts and
credit cards because it made him look good.
Jerzy…It’s hard for me to believe it, but he
wants to see me smile. It makes him happy
to make me happy.”

“There’s your answer. Shop ‘til you

drop! Haha!”

“Come with me! What are you doing

today?”

“Oh, mi amor, I wish I could! But the

twins have a soccer game today. They’ll be
really upset if I miss it, and I know monster-
in-law will never let me hear the end of it.”

99/275

“Fine. I don’t need you. I can do the

damage by myself, girl.”

“Make me proud!”

“Okay. Tell Rex and Ricky that their

auntie says good luck, and tell Margaret to
eat more fiber. It’ll help get the stick out of
her ass.”

Darcelia burst out laughing. “Bye,

Loca!”

Rakell strutted out of the mall with a

big smile on her face and her hands loaded
with shopping bags. Brand new Ray-Ban
sunglasses with brown lenses and a leopard
print frame shaded her bright eyes from the
afternoon sun. She’d gotten her nails done,
bought three new outfits and two dresses,
two pairs of heels, a set of silver bangles, a
body wash and lotion set, perfume, and a

100/275

surprise present for Jerzy. All she needed
now was a bikini wax.

She got home with her purchases

around 6 PM and spent all evening pamper-
ing herself. She ate chocolates and drank
some wine as she soaked in a warm bath
bubbling with strawberry scented soap. She
exfoliated every inch of her skin and rubbed
rich, creamy body butter all over. Feeling
soft, smooth and generally delicious, Rakell
hoped that Jerzy wouldn’t be too tired to
drop by that night after work. If he did, her
evening would end as perfectly as her luxuri-
ous day had begun.

“Hello, Rakell,” Jerzy greeted over the

phone at a little after 11 PM, “I’m not calling
too late, am I?”

“No. You didn’t wake me. I was hop-

ing you would call.”

He grinned. “Really?”

101/275

“Yeah. How did dinner go? Did the

critics show up?”

“My friend was right. The critics ar-

rived. I made sure my chefs used the freshest
ingredients and were cooking at the highest
level of their skill. I inspected every dish be-
fore it left the kitchen. I’m confident that we
gave them our best. Now we have to wait for
Thursday’s paper to read the article.”

“I can’t wait to read the rave reviews.”

“Thanks. I hope it’s good. How was

your day, Beautiful? Did you do some dam-
age with the gift card I gave you?”

“Haha! I sure did! I had to get my best

friend to talk me into it, but I did buy some
new outfits, got my nails done, etcetera. I
had an amazing day. I feel great. I really ap-
preciate it, Jerzy.”

102/275

“I knew you would. I’m glad you and

your friend had fun.”

“Unfortunately, my only girlfriend

was too busy to enjoy the day with me, but I
still had fun.”

“What’s your girlfriend’s name?”

“Darcelia.”

“I’m sorry Darcelia wasn’t able to keep

you company today. Anytime she’s free and
you and her want to have a spa day or
something like that, let me know. I’ll take
care of everything for you two.”

“Free spa day? I think I need to marry

you, boy.”

Jerzy laughed.

Rakell inhaled a calming breath. “I

bought a little somethin’ for you, actually. I

103/275

really want you to drop by tonight, if you’re
not too tired.”

“I could never be too tired to see you.

I’m driving out of downtown now. I’ll be at
your place soon.”

Her heart began to pound in her

chest. “I’ll leave the door unlocked. Let your-
self in.”

“See you soon,” he said softly.

Rakell hung up and hurried to her

bedroom. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. I
can’t believe I’m doing this!” She went into
her bathroom and locked the door. As she
changed into Jerzy’s present, she continued
to argue with herself. “He’s gonna think
you’re such a ho! I mean, who does this?
Really? He’s gonna laugh at you. He’s gonna
laugh! This is so cheesy. You really are des-
perate, huh? You’re gonna ruin everything.
Everything’s going good so you decide to

104/275

fuck it up by trying to pull this nonsense?”
Rakell covered her mostly naked body by
slipping into her favorite pink robe which
was frayed in places after ten years of use.
Her hands were shaking as she tied the
robe’s cloth belt. When she looked into her
eyes in the mirror she was startled by the
fear in them. She looked like a child about to
burst into tears after getting caught breaking
a number of household rules.

There’s only one rule now. Remem-

ber? You’re good. Calm down.

“Rakell?” Jerzy’s voice called from the

foyer.

“Shit!” Rakell whispered. She ran to

the bathroom door and cracked it open. “I’ll
be there in a second! Have a seat!” She scur-
ried back to the mirror for a pep talk.
“There’s a fine young Polish American stud
downstairs right now and you’re about to

105/275

give him exactly what he’s been want-
ing…and what you’ve been wanting. No one
owns you anymore. Don’t be ashamed of
what you really want and don’t be too scared
to go after it.”

“You look so cute and comfy,” Jerzy

grinned as he stood from the couch when
Rakell walked into the living room. His
sleepiness deepened his voice and weighed
down on his eyelids, making his gaze softer,
sultrier. Rakell smiled shyly and reached out
her arms for a hug. Jerzy pulled her close,
warming her body with his. “A hug from you
is the perfect end to a long day,” he sighed at
the crook of her neck. He breathed in her
scent. “You smell so good.”

“It’s my new perfume, courtesy of

your gift card.”

106/275

“You have great taste.” Jerzy lifted his

face and kissed her cheek before stepping
back. “You said you had a gift for me?”

“Yes. Um…Sit down, please.”

Jerzy seated himself on the couch.

He stared up at her, curiosity in his green
eyes.

Rakell fought against the fear that

threatened to paralyze her. She made herself
smile and walk forward. She toyed with the
cloth belt of the pink robe. “Jerzy, your
present is underneath this robe.” She
grinned though her nerves were going
haywire.

Jerzy didn’t even smile. He blinked at

her, concerned, and his mouth hung open in
shock. “Are you serious?”

107/275

Rakell’s stomach dropped and she

went silent. She looked down at the hard-
wood floor to hide the hurt in her eyes.

Jerzy stood from the couch. “I didn’t

mean it like that, Rakell.” He gazed at her
until she met his eyes. “What I mean is, are
you sure? I just never thought I’d be so lucky
tonight,” he smiled.

She nodded slowly. “I want this,” she

answered quietly.

He stroked her jawline with his

knuckles. “You want me to make you feel
good?”

Rakell’s thighs quivered. “Yes,” she

whispered.

“Okay. I’m ready for my present.”

Rakell held her breath as she watched

his hands begin to undo the bow at the front

108/275

of her robe. Jerzy undid the first loops. See-
ing that she was tense, he paused to kiss her
face. He planted delicate kisses on her
temple, on her cheek and finally on her trem-
bling mouth. Once he felt her relax and lean
into the kiss, he pulled his lips away and un-
tied the belt completely. Slowly her robe fell
open to reveal the red sequined flower-
shaped pasties on her breasts and a red G-
string, all shimmering against her radiant
brown skin. Jerzy groaned appreciatively
and bit at the flesh of his bottom lip. A big
smile pulled his lip away from his white
teeth. He pulled his hungry eyes away from
her thighs, hips and breasts, met Rakell’s
smiling eyes and laughed. “I get it! Two pas-
ties and a G-string.”

“Yep,” she grinned.

He pressed his lips firmly against hers

and reached his hands into her open robe to
wrap his muscled arms around her curvy

109/275

waist. He broke the kiss as he lifted her off of
her feet and swung her around in a circle.
“You’re smart, sexy, and bold, and you have
the best sense of humor,” he smiled. Rakell
giggled and wrapped her legs around him.
Jerzy stopped spinning and repositioned his
hands to her naked bottom, supporting her
thighs with his forearms. He gave her rear
end a soft squeeze. They stared into each
other’s eyes, their hearts racing and their
breathing picking up speed as their lust
began to build. “Where’s your room?” he
whispered.

Rakell nodded her head toward the

hall. “That way.”

While he carried her to the bedroom

his mouth went to work on her earlobe.
Rakell gasped as his soft lips and hot mouth
traveled from her ear to the side of her neck.
Rakell’s legs tightened around his tapered
waist when he sucked at her collarbone. He

110/275

carried her into her low lit bedroom, toward
her queen-sized cherry wood sleigh bed.
Jerzy began to loosen his hold on her legs to
lower her to the ground. Rakell buried her
fingers in his dark hair and brought his lips
to hers. He leaned forward and lowered his
head to maintain their connection as her feet
reached the plush rug.

Jerzy’s hand pulled away from her

back and slipped under the shoulders of her
robe. He pushed the garment down her arms
and it fell to the floor, leaving Rakell in the
pasties and underwear alone. He felt the in-
tensity of her kisses slow and knew she was
feeling nervous. He broke the kiss and began
to remove his clothes to change her focus.
Gazing into her eyes, he removed his jacket.
During the few seconds it took to take his
jacket off and toss it to the floor, he found
himself missing intensely the feel of her lips
and her soft body. He went back for more,
sucking at her lips as he kicked off his shoes,

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unfastened his belt, and stepped out of his
pants.

A glimpse of the bulging crotch of

Jerzy’s black boxer briefs propelled Rakell to
break the kiss and begin unbuttoning his
shirt. As his smooth, broad chest was re-
vealed, her hands tingled with a craving for
contact. Quickly, she opened his shirt. As
Jerzy held his hands behind his back and
pulled the shirt from his arms, Rakell rubbed
her hands up and down his chest, feeling the
solid swell of his pecs and the definition of
his stomach. Jerzy drew in a breath and
grabbed her to him. His chest was pressed
against her chest, his muscular thighs
against her thighs and his firm stomach
against her belly. The heat of his body
branded her skin and soaked through her
own, meeting the burning need that was
swirling, tingling and intensifying within her
own yielding flesh. Jerzy plundered Rakell’s
mouth a minute more and then pulled away

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to rid her breasts of the concealing flower-
shaped pasties.

His fingers found the edge of the red

sequined sticker and carefully peeled it back.
He pulled at it so that the pasty tugged at the
sensitive skin of her nipple before coming off
completely. Once both pasties were off,
Jerzy admired her breasts. Her nipples were
hard. “Beautiful,” he whispered. Rakell
chewed at her lip, dying for Jerzy to touch
them or take them into his mouth. Instead,
Jerzy spun her around and hugged her from
behind. Embraced within his powerful
physique, Rakell’s desire doubled, and then
it tripled as he played out her fantasy by
claiming her left breast with his large hand,
wrapping his arm around her waist and nib-
bling at her neck. A throaty moan escaped
her mouth. Jerzy squeezed her breast a little
harder and rubbed his hardness against her
bare behind. Rakell arched her back and
pressed back against his groin. He moaned

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against her neck. His hands converged on
her inner thighs, stirring her need with his
fingertips, smoothing his hands up and down
them. One hand returned to cup her breast
and the other hand slid to the back of her leg
and gave her supple thigh an appreciative
squeeze.

The memory of a demeaning com-

ment Marshall once gave her caused Rakell
to panic. She tensed. “I know my thighs have
more jiggle than they should. I haven’t been
working out as much as I used to,” she blur-
ted. Jerzy’s hands paused. Rakell’s face
burned with humiliation.

He spun her back around to face him.

Shaking his head as he stared into her eyes,
he held her chin and smoothed his thumb
across her lips. “Shhhh. Don’t say another
mean word about your body. I’m seeing an
exquisite sculpture for the first time and the
moment is being ruined by a misinformed

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critic.” He pressed his cheek to hers and
caressed her back. “Believe me, your figure is
exactly, exactly, the way I want it to be,” he
breathed. He brushed his lips against her
earlobe and whispered, “I want you, I’m go-
ing to fuck you well, and you’re going to love
it.”

Rakell gasped. Her whole body flamed

with renewed passion. Silence hung between
them, heavy with anticipation and their soft
panting. Jerzy lifted his face away from hers.
The silent moment continued as they stood
staring into one another’s dark eyes. Then
Jerzy dove in. He attacked her mouth and
pushed her toward the bed. She fell back
onto her bed and moved herself up until her
head was on a pillow. Jerzy followed her
onto the bed and positioned himself over
her. He began circling his mouth on the skin
around her nipples, tickling her breasts with
his smooth lips and the roughness of his fa-
cial hair. He finally sucked a nipple into his

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hot mouth. Rakell sighed with pleasure. He
very slowly pulled off her little red G-string
panties so that she was completely naked be-
fore him. As he nibbled and sucked at her
other nipple, he rubbed circles against her
clit with his thumb until she was writhing
with the need for him to enter her. “Jerzy,
please,” she whimpered. Finally he pulled off
his black boxer briefs. Rakell looked down
and her eyes widened. She propped herself
up with her elbows. “Um…I—I don’t think I
can, um…handle you,” she stammered, un-
able to peel her eyes away from his member.
“You’re so…big.”

He laughed. “What did you expect?

That I would be small?”

“No, not small…just less big.” She

swallowed.

He grinned. “It really turns me on to

get such a reaction from you, but I have to

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admit that I’m not that big. I’m guessing
your ex was decidedly small,” he chuckled.
He kissed at her lips. “I won’t hurt you,
Sweetheart. I promise. Just let me inside
you,” he growled softly. His deep seductive
voice made her drowsy with desire again.
She nodded and lay back down on the bed.
He lowered his body onto hers and she felt
his hardness press against her inner thigh.

“Wait, wait.”

“Shhhhh, you’re overthinking this

again.”

“Stop shushing me and listen! Do you

have protection?”

“Yes, of course.” He laughed.

“Well, put it on now.”

“Okay, Boss.” Amused, he reached

over her head for the condom on the corner

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of the bed. She hadn’t noticed him toss it
there. “Hmmm, I kind of like it when you’re
bossy, Rakell.” He smiled as he opened the
foil wrapper and slid the condom down his
shaft.

“Really? Then shut up and do me.”

She smiled seductively up at him.

“Yes, Boss.”

She laughed and suddenly she was be-

ing filled with him. He entered her smoothly
but quickly. “Oh!” she exclaimed from pleas-
ure and surprise. His thickness stretched her
adequately. She was speechless. She’d never
before felt so complete in all her life.

“See…you

were

relaxed…and

wet…Didn’t hurt you…Damn, you’re so
tight.” His hand gripped the bed sheet over
her shoulder and the other hand grasped her
hip more firmly. Jerzy took a moment to re-
gain control of his body after the overload of

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pleasure signals he was undergoing. He
leaned forward and gently kissed Rakell on
the mouth, then kissed a trail from her
throat down between her breasts. He paused
again and lifted his head. He gazed at her a
few long seconds, the green color of his eyes
darkened by lust and shadows, and then he
began to move. He thrust into her, controlled
but eager, in and out.

Rakell grasped onto his back as his

length skillfully stroked her inside. Every
nerve laden centimeter of her inner walls
and every inch of her sweat-misted skin was
enthused by the slick, searing friction cre-
ated by the joining of their bodies. Jerzy
watched her face to make sure she was en-
joying everything he did. As he worked into
her, his right hand ran up and down her
torso, pinching her nipples, caressing her
breasts and rubbing her stomach. His left
hand remained pressed into the bed by her

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shoulder to help him keep his balance and
continue a steady rhythm.

His faintly rough hand moved down

from her stomach, slid down her right hip,
down her thigh and to her calf. He cupped
her calf and pushed her right leg up until she
naturally bent her knee. He pushed her knee
closer to her stomach so that he could grasp
her foot. He massaged the arch and heel of
her foot with his thumb, adding another level
of delicious tingling sensations to Rakell’s
experience. He grasped her ankle and
straightened her leg some. He brought his
mouth to the back of her knee and started
gently sucking and tonguing her skin. A new,
powerful flourish of pleasure ran through
Rakell’s body as his mouth delighted the
sensitive area behind her knee and as his
strokes reached deeper inside of her. “Oh
my—Oh, Jerzyyyy,” she moaned. His
rhythm increased speed.

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His hips moved faster. Jerzy’s skin

glistened with beads of sweat, defining his
straining muscles even more. He was in
heaven as he studied the erotic expressions
on Rakell’s face and listened to the sounds of
satisfaction he was eliciting from her as he
pushed inside of her. He groaned as he drove
into her again and again, deeper, rougher,
wilder, until finally Rakell cried out his
name.

Intense waves of pleasure zoomed

through her body. Her sexual gratification
had reached a new and incredible height. She
watched Jerzy’s abs ripple and tense as he
came soon after. He moaned loudly with
each jolt of his orgasm and then collapsed
slightly on top of her. They lay there, winded
and tingling from the aftershocks. As Jerzy’s
breathing calmed he began to reposition
himself and pulled out of her. Rakell auto-
matically rolled away from him. She turned
her back to him and nestled her head into a

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pillow. Jerzy reached for her. He slung his
arm around her waist, dragged her back to
him, and sighed once she was cradled
against his body. Rakell stiffened, but even-
tually relaxed. Tears began to spill from her
eyes.

“He didn’t hold you like this, did he?”

he whispered.

She shook her head. Jerzy held her

tighter. He kissed her neck and her shoulder.
“I don’t want you to cry no more. Don’t think
about anything. Just feel.”

Rakell closed her eyes and melted into

his body. His soft breathing whispered
against her neck and his strong body was
wrapped around her protectively. He kissed
the top of her head. “I’ll be right back.” He
went to the bathroom to dispose of the con-
dom and then returned quickly to the bed.
He pulled the covers over them and Rakell

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snuggled backward into him. Jerzy rubbed
her side until they both fell asleep.

In the morning, Jerzy woke up with

Rakell sleeping in his arms. He nuzzled her
shoulder and inhaled the delicate strawberry
scent of her dark skin. A tender feeling
warmed his chest as he admired her elegant
neck, her messy hair and her peaceful face.
He wanted her to turn over and face him so
that he could have full view of how cute she
was when she was asleep, but he didn’t want
to wake her up. He also didn’t want to move.
He needed to get up and go to the bathroom,
but his bladder could wait. It felt so good to
shelter her warm, soft body with his. Too
good. Rakell had warned him that she
couldn’t make him any promises. If there
was anything he’d learned from past rela-
tionships and from losing his mother, it was
that nothing was guaranteed. All he could do

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was make the best of the moments he was
sharing with Rakell. So stop imagining a fu-
ture with her. She’s finding herself, she’s ex-
periencing new things. She’s your professor.
Can’t get more temporary than that. But he
was drawn to her in a way he’d never felt
before.

Rakell began to stir. Jerzy watched

her eyes open and saw a smile stretch across
her lips once she was conscious of the mus-
cular body enveloping her. Jerzy smiled and
kissed her shoulder. “Good morning,” he
murmured. Rakell quickly rolled over to face
him, a big sleepy smile on her face. Jerzy’s
stomach fluttered. “Hey,” she whispered. Be-
fore Jerzy could process the shock he felt
over the butterflies in his stomach, Rakell
kissed him, a firm peck on the mouth. She
pulled away and threw her leg over his. Her
hand smoothed up and down his bicep. “Last
night was amazing,” she whispered. “You
made me feel so good,” she beamed.

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“That’s always my goal,” he answered,

fighting back a goofy grin.

Rakell looked directly into his green

eyes but her gaze was demure and vulner-
able. “I felt you everywhere, Jerzy.”

Jerzy was speechless. His heart

swelled with contentment. He wanted to be
inside her again immediately.

What was happening? Was he react-

ing this way because her words hinted at the
possibility that she’d be ready for a serious
relationship soon, his selfish hope? Was he
just so desperate after repeated heartbreak
that her admiration and honesty was like a
gift of gold coins to a bankrupt pauper? Was
his sexual chemistry with her so fiery and ad-
dictive that his lust was starting to feel like
the stirrings of something more profound?
Or was he falling for Rakell because she was
someone genuinely and uniquely special?

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The truth was, he felt her everywhere,

too. Mind, body and spirit, she felt right. He
didn’t want the trust and intimacy between
them to end, but it was probably going to
end. He couldn’t even go out with Rakell in
public. There were quite a few things stacked
against the two of them having any real fu-
ture. All he had were these private moments
with her, so he was anxious to make the best
of them. He inhaled a calming breath and
smiled at her. “I want to ask you something,
but you have to promise not to freak out.”

Her tired eyes became more wakeful.

“What is it?”

“Are you…on the pill or anything?”

Horrified, Rakell dug her fingers into

his arm. “The condom broke?!”

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“No!” His cheeks colored. “Damn. I

should’ve asked you that a different way.
Nevermind, Sweetheart. It’s a ridiculous re-
quest anyway.”

Rakell turned onto her back and

rubbed both hands on her face, taking slow
breaths to release the fear from her body.
Under the covers, Jerzy rubbed her hip and
her stomach to soothe her. Eventually she
looked back at Jerzy. “It’s not a ridiculous re-
quest to ask that I be on birth control as an
extra precaution. It’s a smart request. I’m
ashamed I didn’t require it of myself.”

“That’s not what I was trying to say

exactly.”

“Then tell me exactly.” Rakell re-

turned to lying on her side. Their heads were
resting on the same pillow. Jerzy lowered his
eyes, contemplating what to say and whether
he should even say it. “Come on,” Rakell

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teased. “I embarrassed myself last night let-
ting you know what I wanted. Now it’s your
turn.”

“Okay.” He smiled with uncertainty in

his eyes. “The thing is…At the end of the
night when we’re finished enjoying each oth-
er, I want to be able to stay in bed with you
and hold you instead of worrying about what
to do with the condom. I want to be able to
roll over in bed on mornings like these, ad-
mire you until you wake up and give me your
pretty smile, and then enter you without a
thought other than I want to please you until
I hear you scream my name again. What I’m
saying is I’m ready to physically commit to
you.”

Awestruck

and aroused,

Rakell’s

mouth went dry. “Wow,” she whispered.

“I know that sounds crazy and like I’m

moving too fast, but life’s too short to let

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good moments go to waste, right? I know
myself. I’m hooked on you and my impulse is
to keep you for myself, but I’m not going to
coax you into a relationship. I’ve made that
mistake too many times. I don’t want you to
resent me later like other women have. Let’s
focus on now. Let’s build our own dream
world together, and be as intimate and care-
free as we can in it before we have to wake
up.” Jerzy brushed Rakell’s hair back with
his fingertips. “Does that sound like
something that would make you happy?”

She swallowed away the lump in her

throat. She couldn’t believe how open and
thoughtful Jerzy was. “Yes, that’s perfect,”
she grinned and cupped his face.

“Good,” he sighed. Rakell slung her

leg over his again and ran a hand up and
down his smooth torso. “Mmm. Shit, you
can’t do that to me just yet.” He grabbed her

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devious hand and removed it from his abs.
He sat up and got out of bed.

Rakell chewed at the inside of her lip

as she eyed his muscled back and the firm
mounds of his butt while he grabbed his box-
ers from the floor and pulled them on. She
pouted. “Why?”

Jerzy turned around. “For one thing,

I’m an idiot that only brought one condom
with me. Besides, I don’t want any barriers
between us when we go at it again. You’ve
got the birth control thing to take care of and
we should both get tested. Then it’ll be
perfect.”

Rakell nodded. Her eyes trailed down

the veins in his solid arms and surveyed his
flat stomach. Then her gaze fell to his groin.
Her special place began to weep for his hard-
ness. She burst out laughing at her own frus-
tration. “Get out of my house then!”

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“I’m sorry,” he chuckled. “It’s hurting

me, too. Believe me.” Jerzy left for the bath-
room. He returned to the room and found
the rest of his clothing which was scattered
all over the floor. Rakell sat up in bed with
the sheet wrapped around her and watched
him get back into his black Armani suit.

“I was kidding. Stay for breakfast, at

least. I’ll bake muffins. Lemon poppy seed.”

He grinned. “I love lemon poppy

seed.”

“Milk, cranberry juice or coffee?” She

asked once she was in the kitchen, dressed in
sweatpants and a tank top with her hair in a
messy ponytail.

“Juice.”

Jerzy was quiet as he sat on a stool at

the breakfast bar. He watched her pour him

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a glass of juice and begin mixing a batter for
the muffins. She wasn’t a careful cook. Flour
got everywhere, she left eggshells on the
counter and she splashed milk onto the floor.
She was a messy cook, just like his mother
had been. Jerzy and Rakell chatted for fif-
teen minutes while the muffins baked. Soon
Rakell handed him a plate with strawberries,
cantaloupe and a fresh baked lemon poppy
seed muffin on it. “Here. Nibble on my
muffin top, Baby,” she said in a throaty se-
ductive voice.

He laughed. “I’m happy to nibble on

you wherever you’d like.”

She waved a wooden spoon at him.

“Don’t start what you can’t finish.”

He bit into the warm, airy muffin.

“Wow. These are really good, Rakell. Way
better than mine.”

“You bake?”

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“And cook.” He popped a strawberry

slice into his mouth.

Rakell shook her head. “Strange,

strange, strange. You must have been created
in a lab by a team of horny female
geneticists.”

Jerzy laughed. He couldn’t remember

the last time a woman made him laugh so
much. “Nah. Why is it so hard to believe I’m
a decent guy who is very attracted to you and
can also cook?”

“Why is it so hard for you to believe

that I’m a decent woman whose attracted to
you and won’t eventually run away?” she
countered in a soft voice.

He smiled. “Because, Rakell, you have

flour on your chin.”

133/275

VI

Rakell expected Monday morning to

be awkward, seeing as she had screwed one
of her students. In distressed jeans and a
graphic t-shirt, Jerzy looked like just another
college kid. It was a shock to see him blend
in so well with the students sitting in the lec-
ture hall. When she and Jerzy were together,
she completely forgot about their differences.
Now, under the fluorescent lights of reality,
their difference in age, and skin color, was
clear. Her heart filled with sadness, until
Jerzy smiled at her from the crowd. Then the
clouds in her mind parted. She began her
lecture on literary devices feeling relaxed and
confident. It wasn’t awkward to have her
secret lover in the audience because she
didn’t feel ashamed. She felt like…Like a
pimp! More so, she felt meaningful. Her life

had potential again now that she was aware
of the pleasure to be had.

At the end of class, Jerzy strode to the

front of the room. “Hey,” he said with a
dreamy smile. His broad, beefy shoulders
stretched his tight blue t-shirt, making
Rakell’s fingers antsy.

“Hey,” Rakell grinned.

“I’m taking you to Eden tomorrow

night. I’ll pick you up at eight.”

Rakell’s brows bent as she wondered

what Eden was. A bar? A club? An art gal-
lery? Her face lit up once she remembered.
“The garden terrace,” she smiled. Jerzy nod-
ded, glanced desirously at her lips, and
walked away as soon as other students
swarmed the front of the room to speak to
their professor.

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“It’s so romantic here,” Rakell cooed.

The reflection of the Christmas lights and the
glow of the white paper lanterns glistened in
her dark eyes. Flowering vines and a variety
of lush green plants thrived in the small
rooftop oasis. The air smelled earthy and fra-
grant. Jerzy kissed her temple and led her to
a corner of the beautified terrace. He wore
well-fitting jeans and a light pink button
down with the sleeves rolled up to his el-
bows. Rakell wore a yellow strapless dress.
The bright color and sweetheart neckline
made the dress girly and cute, but the slit up
the thigh gave it some spice.

His hand at the small of Rakell’s back,

he guided her toward the picnic he’d set up
on the plot of grass at the corner of the ter-
race. A crystal pitcher of sweet sangria was in
the middle of a checkered mint green
blanket. Tapas-style food surrounded the
burgundy pitcher: a glass bowl of shrimp and

136/275

scallop ceviche, a cloth-lined basket of fresh
baked tortilla chips, a plate stacked with
little beef empanadas, and a dish of green
olives stuffed with herbed goat cheese and
wrapped in prosciutto.

“You made all this, Jerzy?”

“I used pre-made empanada dough

and I bought the sangria, but everything else
was from scratch. Have a seat.” They sat
close on the blanket. Rakell nestled into his
side. She breathed in his cologne. Jerzy took
a savory empanada from the plate and fed it
to her.

“Mmm! I really need to marry you,

Boy. Let’s elope.” She gave him a big kiss on
the cheek.

Jerzy grinned and his face warmed

with a faint blush. Rakell admired his face as
he poured her a cool glass of sangria. She
loved how his dark lashes framed his

137/275

dazzling green eyes. Her heart surged with
gratitude. She laid her head on his shoulder
and sighed, looking up at the canopy of dark
green vines above them and at the healthy
foliage around them, while her taste buds
were delighted by each new bite of food. The
impulse to give each other delicate kisses on
the neck or on the lips was the only thing
that distracted them from eating. When most
of the food was done, Jerzy took Rakell’s
hand and helped her stand up. He kissed the
inside of her wrist. “Let’s walk around a little
bit.” Side by side, an arm around each other’s
waists, they took a leisurely walk around the
garden, ending up at the brick banister at the
edge of the roof to take in the million dollar
view of the city.

Jerzy

stood

behind

Rakell

and

wrapped his arms around her waist. He res-
ted his cheek against her hair as they quietly
appreciated the dreamlike glimmering of the
city at night. He squeezed her softly. “I want

138/275

to know your whole story, all the way up un-
til you found yourself here in my arms.”

“It’s a looong story,” she quipped.

“Over a decade longer than your story, in
fact.”

“I don’t care how long the story is. I

just care that it’s yours.”

Rakell’s throat became irritated with

an emotional lump. She blinked away tears.
She’d wished for a man to be loving,
thoughtful, and attentive, but receiving that
attention was uncomfortable. She still felt
undeserving. Rakell swept her fingers back
and forth against Jerzy’s forearm which was
held across her stomach. “I was born in
Texas to a controlling mother and an alco-
holic father. My father left when I was six
years old. Even though he was a drunk, I re-
sented that my dad didn’t take me with him.”
Rakell told Jerzy her childhood stories of

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loneliness, humiliation and intense shame
perpetrated by the religiosity of her now es-
tranged mother and older brother, and how
her judgmental family prompted her to run
away across the country, ending up in
Pennsylvania.

Jerzy kissed Rakell on the shoulder.

“You’re going to start your own family one
day. All the love you missed will be returned
to you twofold.”

That was exactly what Rakell’s heart

ached to hear. Her fragile self-image craved
more of Jerzy’s remedying words, so she he
told him all about her marriage to Marshall,
from naïve start to shattering finish. Jerzy
listened quietly. Whenever Rakell mentioned
a detail of how her ex-husband mistreated
her, she felt Jerzy’s body tense behind hers,
but then he would tighten his embrace of her
and warm her shoulders with caresses of his
hands. After Rakell finished the account,

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Jerzy was silent. Finally, he spoke. “You nev-
er have to feel that way again.”

Rakell had an epiphany when she

heard those words. Her limited perception of
the size of her world instantly expanded. For
once she was certain, truly certain, that she
never had to experience the pain of her past
relationships again, because life was too
short and the world was too big to accept the
same self-centered people into her life. Never
again would she let any person have preced-
ence over her contentment, her self-esteem
and her freedom just because they said they
loved her. Actions really do speak louder
than words. So far, Jerzy’s actions showed
her that he was a man deserving of her affec-
tion. It was all about now. She was happy
now. If he changed, if her needs changed,
then she’d let him go and not waste any time
finding someone who could fulfill her
desires.

141/275

Rakell turned around to look into

Jerzy’s eyes in the relative darkness. “And
you…You don’t have to feel used ever again.
If a girl doesn’t appreciate what you do for
her, if she takes your kindness for weakness,
don’t try to change her. Let her go and allow
yourself to be happy.” She placed her hands
on top of his shirt and rubbed both sides of
his collarbone. “Okay?”

He nodded. “Okay.”

Rakell admired his masculine, angular

jawline and the feel of his solid physique be-
neath her hands. His honest green eyes could
make her wet with one suggestive glance. His
pink pillow lips were soft but powerful, and
in that mouth was a tongue that was more
fun than any amusement park ride. But his
heart, that’s what sent Rakell’s passion soar-
ing. He doted on her, touched her, listened to
her, and held her. She felt precious and sen-
suous in his embrace, and she wanted to

142/275

return the favor by letting him have his way
with her tonight and many more nights.
Take me. She cupped his face and lured his
head down for a passionate kiss. While her
tongue began a playful, erotic tussle with his,
her hand slipped under the front of his shirt
and found the button of his jeans.

Jerzy broke away from her and took a

step back. “No, Rakell.”

Rakell was startled by his rejection.

All her tests came back negative and she was
on birth control. What was the problem?
“Don’t you want me?”

Jerzy looked away from her hurt ex-

pression. “Baby, of course, but I want to wait
for my test results so you and I can feel one
hundred percent safe and comfortable.”

“You can use a condom tonight. I

won’t mind.”

143/275

He shook his head, staring at the

buildings behind her. “I’ll mind.”

Rakell stepped close to him. “What if

we just…touched each other?”

He threw his head back and laughed

at the night sky. “God, now I know why
Adam ate the apple.”

“Why won’t you look at me?”

He covered his eyes with both hands.

“Because your doe eyes are my kryptonite.”

She giggled and relaxed. “Two nights

ago, you…” Rakell trailed off, searching her
mind for the precise words to describe the
pleasure and fulfillment she’d experienced.
Jerzy’s hands were still on his eyes. Her hand
tightened on his shirt. “You made my body,
my being, sing the highest note it’s ever
sung. I want to have that moment again.
Please.”

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He groaned and his hands fell from

his face. He gazed down into her hopeful
eyes. Though terribly weakened and guilt-
ridden due to his natural urge to spoil and
please her, Jerzy managed to stand his
ground. “Soon, Rakell, soon. In a couple
more days. I promise.”

Rakell hung her head, disappointed.

Jerzy lifted her face by her chin. His

smile radiated affection. “Aw, don’t look like
that.”

“You like seeing me like this, don’t

you?” she whined.

“A little. Yeah.” He chuckled.

“Jerk.”

Jerzy’s hand caressed the side of her

neck. “I like seeing that you want me as
badly as I want you.”

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She rolled her eyes. “A jerk with a sil-

ver tongue.”

“You love my tongue.” His hand found

her hip.

Rakell hit him on the chest and then

buried her face in it. She felt his hard chest
tremor with laughter. “Shut up,” she
mumbled against his cotton shirt. He
smelled so good. She lifted her head away
and peered up at him. “I’m sorry that I kept
pressuring you.”

Jerzy gave her a kiss to express that

he accepted the apology.

Rakell continued. “We’re supposed to

build a dream world together, but I’m only
thinking of myself. You don’t want us to have
any barriers, right?”

He nodded. “Right.”

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“Because in your dream world,

we’re…married,” she suddenly realized.

Jerzy swallowed, shocked. Subcon-

sciously that’s exactly what he was trying to
create, but he hadn’t admitted it to himself
until now. How had Rakell known? He
searched her kind eyes and his embarrass-
ment ebbed. He exhaled and finally
answered. “Yeah.”

She smiled. “Where was our wedding?

I don’t quite remember.”

“Uh…” He laughed, and then thought

about it. “It was in a little church in the Pol-
ish countryside.”

“And our honeymoon?”

“Paris. And here, because the honey-

moon never ended when we got back from
France.”

147/275

“Damn, Jerzy,” she sighed. She

hugged him around the waist and rested her
cheek against his chest. Jerzy rocked her
gently side to side. He started humming a
song that sounded very familiar, but that
Rakell couldn’t place. Jerzy reached behind
him for one of her hands. He intertwined his
fingers with hers and held it over his heart.
Their rocking became a slow dance on the
rooftop. Rakell admired their joined hands,
the difference in size and the contrast of
their skin. He started singing the words
aloud. She grinned. It was that Elton John
song, “I Guess That’s Why They Call It The
Blues”. She always thought of the song as
cheesy, but it was totally transformed
through Jerzy’s voice. His singing voice
wasn’t perfect, but it was smooth and earn-
est. When he got to the chorus, the lyrics
warmed her all over. At the end of the song,
she was surprised to find herself on the brink

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of tears. “Thank you,” she whispered so
quietly she didn’t think Jerzy heard.

“No. Thank you.”

“Hello, Alisa,” Rakell smiled as she

walked past the reception desk on the way to
her office on Thursday afternoon.

“Hi, Professor Dunn!” The blonde

grinned. “You look different today.”

“How so?”

“Hmm…” Alisa looked Rakell up and

down with her large blue eyes. She gasped. “I
know what it is! It’s your face! Your bad age
lines and frown lines don’t look so noticeable
anymore…No offense.”

Rakell softened her murderous glare

and forced a smile. “Well, ever since I’ve

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added more meat to my diet I’ve been look-
ing younger and younger.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I find that Polish sausage gives

the most amazing results.”

“I’ve never heard that before.”

“It’s one of those European beauty

secrets.” Rakell winked and continued walk-
ing to her office. Rakell’s amusement only
lasted as long as it took for her to reach her
office, close the door and sit behind her desk.
Alone in her office, she was overcome with a
feeling of worthlessness. That perky blond
twit was right. She was old and it showed.
She could never be Jerzy’s girlfriend. Only in
a dream world could she fit into his life.
Jerzy already knew that. His friends and
family would laugh if they learned about
their affair. The whole thing was a joke, espe-
cially her new ‘It’s all about how I feel in the

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moment’ philosophy. How she felt in the mo-
ments she shared with Jerzy had everything
to do with the small hope she held that he
could become a constant source of joy in her
future. But could she ever truly be his? Did
she have any place in his heart, or were the
gifts, dinners and affection all a part of his
marriage fetish?

The door to her office swung open

without warning. Her heart skipped a beat. It
was Jerzy. He was dressed for work, in a
black button down and gray slacks with a
black leather belt. “Hey, Beautiful.” He shut
and locked the door and waved the papers in
his hand. He lightly tossed them onto her
desk.

Rakell looked over the papers. They

were medical lab test results. “Everything’s
negative. That’s great.” She forced a small
smile.

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Jerzy walked around the desk. He

grabbed her wrist and pulled her up from her
chair. He held her face in his hands, gazed
into her sad eyes and saw that she needed
him too. “I’ve gotta have you. Right now,” he
whispered before stealing a lustful kiss. His
large hand squeezed her buttock as he de-
voured her mouth. Rakell was powerless to
the trembling fire his touch ignited within
her body, and only Jerzy could quench it.
Wild with need, he tore his mouth away from
hers to eagerly suck on her neck and collar-
bone, and then he snatched open her
buttoned blouse. Before she knew it he’d
worked both her breasts out of the cups of
her white bra.

Rakell knew it was irresponsible to

have sex in her office on school grounds, but
all restraint slipped away as her ardent greed
for Jerzy took over. She sighed and
whimpered and gripped at Jerzy’s dark hair
as he tortured her dark nipples with his teeth

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then soothed the pain with sweeps of his
tongue. He let her breast fall from his mouth
and then stunned her by putting his hand up
her skirt and grabbing her crotch. His finger-
tips raked over her sensitive folds through
the thin, dampened fabric of her white
thong. He stared into her eyes. “This is mine.
Say it’s mine.” The authority in his rough
voice and the lust in his eyes made Rakell
tremble in his hand.

“It’s yours,” she breathed.

With that he turned her around, made

her lie face down over the back of her desk
and elevate her hips by standing on the balls
of her feet in her kitten heels, and then he
pulled her A-line skirt up over her bottom.
He kneaded one soft buttock and then
spanked her. It drew a small yelp from
Rakell. The novelty and danger of his domin-
ant behavior and the new environment in
which they were expressing themselves made

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Rakell’s body heat spike four degrees from
the excitement. Jerzy rubbed away the gentle
sting his firm hand had caused, and then he
tugged down on her white thong so that it
fell around her ankles. Rakell tensed and
sighed in anticipation as she heard him undo
his belt and open the zipper on his slacks.
Jerzy grasped her by the hips and spread her
legs further apart with his knee. He moved
his hips forward, but paused with his head at
her slick entrance. “No one else gets to fuck
you but me, right?”

“N-No one else,” she whispered.

“Louder,” he commanded.

“No one else gets to fuck me but you,

Jerzy.”

He didn’t move.

She squirmed. “Please, fuck me,” she

whimpered.

154/275

Then he drove into her fully. As soon

as he entered her she was on the precipice of
an orgasm. She moaned. He started off with
a slow teasing stroke.

“Nooo,

faster,”

she

insisted,

breathless.

He didn’t alter his pace. He continued

a steady stroke, moving only some of the way
in and almost all the way out of her. After
twenty long seconds of this Rakell was so
frustrated she pushed backward against him
to make him go harder and deeper inside of
her. Jerzy reacted by stopping completely.
He was silent. She could hear his heavy
breathing, but he was motionless. She felt
him so solid and hot inside of her. Her heart
was racing. “Give it to me,” she begged him.

His fingers pressed into her hips and

he abruptly began pounding into her.

155/275

“Yes!” she cried and shivered.

“Shhhh,” he urged. He bit down on his

lip to contain his own guttural moans as he
worked his hips to stroke all areas of the ero-
genous surface inside of her with his rigid
member.

Rakell kept getting louder. The angle

of Jerzy’s thrust resulted in blow after deli-
cious blow against her sweet spot. She
couldn’t help but cry out in pleasure.

“Rakell…You gotta be quiet, Baby,” he

warned her in a strained whisper. He
reached his hand out for the yellow pencil at
the end of her desk. He pressed the pencil to
her lips. “Bite down on this.”

Rakell obeyed. She tasted the wood of

the pencil as her teeth clamped down into it.
Her bare breasts warmed the surface of the
desk. Her hands, resting on scattered papers
and folders, were balled into fists as the

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magnitude of her pleasure climbed higher
and higher, her climax approaching.

“You can touch yourself, Baby, if you

need to,” Jerzy groaned. “I’m almost there.”

She reached a trembling hand down

between her legs. As soon as Rakell’s finger
touched her clit she came. Her startled cry
was muffled by the pencil in her mouth. The
pulsing and contracting of her hot walls
pulled at Jerzy’s member and set off his or-
gasm. “Rakell,” he moaned louder than he’d
intended. The intensity of his release rocked
him. He held on to the edge of the desk to
maintain his balance. He stood there shaky
and panting. Piece by piece, his surround-
ings came back into focus. Once he’d re-
gained control of himself, he leaned closer to
Rakell’s limp body. He slowly kissed a trail
down the length of her spine as she floated
back down to earth. He pulled out of her.
After he zipped his pants, he bent down and

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picked up Rakell’s lacy white thong from
around feet, taking time to massage her
ankles before sliding the underwear back
onto her hips. He fixed her skirt. Gently, he
lifted her up from the desk and turned her
around to study her face. The regular attent-
ive tone returned to his voice. “Did you like
that?”

She responded with a slow nod and a

smile, still seeing stars.

He smiled. “Good.” Jerzy hugged her

to him. He loved holding her. When she was
secure in his arms, that’s when he felt like a
man. He spent a long while holding her and
rubbing her back. He kissed her temple, but
couldn’t end there. He kissed her forehead,
her eyelids, her cute nose, her cheeks, and
her lips. He wasn’t sure he’d ever have
enough of her. Rakell pulled away to fix her
clothes. Jerzy stroked his knuckles down the
slope of one of her lovely breasts as she

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readjusted her bra. Rakell buttoned up her
blouse and puckered her lips for a kiss. Jerzy
gladly granted her wish. He broke away with
a smile on his face.

“I want you to visit my restaurant to-

night. I’ll give you a tour of the kitchen so
you can see all the action behind the scenes.
It’ll be fun. You could meet the chefs and get
a cooking lesson or sample a few new dishes
and desserts. And…you could meet my
brother and my father too, if you’re ready for
that.”

Rakell’s mouth fell open in astonish-

ment. “You want me to meet your family?”

“Only if you want to.”

She shook her head. “What are you

going to introduce me as? Your professor?”

“I’ll introduce you as Rakell. They’ll

know what you mean to me.”

159/275

Rakell couldn’t hold back the ques-

tion. “What do I mean to you, Jerzy?”

Jerzy’s green eyes conveyed a shy sin-

cerity. “You mean a lot more to me than
either of us are willing to have complete faith
in.”

Rakell closed her eyes. His words

were a balm to her doubts and insecurities.
She opened her eyes to him kissing her on
the forehead again.

“I’ve gotta head to work. Call me later.

Let me know what you want to do.” After a
long kiss, Jerzy exited the office. Rakell re-
laxed into her chair. The air smelled of a
mixture of her and Jerzy’s fragrances. She
studied the chewed yellow pencil on the
desk, picked it up and ran her fingers along
the grooves her teeth had created. She
shivered and smiled, experiencing a flash-
back of the intense sex she’d had just

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minutes ago. After placing the pencil at the
top of her computer keyboard as a memento
from her first office tryst, she began updating
grades and attendance.

When Rakell left her office for the day

and headed down the hall she was surprised
that Alisa didn’t give her the usual bug-eyed
beauty pageant smile the whole walk. The
girl didn’t look up from her computer until
Rakell walked past her desk. Alisa looked
sad.

Rakell smiled. “See you later, Alisa.

Everything okay?”

“You lied to me, Professor Dunn,” she

answered coldly.

Rakell was taken aback by the storm

in Alisa’s eyes. “What?”

“A European beauty secret?”

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“Oh.” Her shoulders slumped with

guilt. “It was only a joke, Alisa. I didn’t—”

“I’m not stupid,” the girl snapped.

“People think I am because I’m blonde and I
smile all the time. I used to respect you, Pro-
fessor Dunn. You had the courage to leave
that sorry-excuse-for-a-man Marshall so that
you could be liberated and independent like
all women should be. I never thought you
would insult me this way.”

“I’m really sorry. That was mean and

immature of me.”

“There was a lot of noise coming from

your office. I could have called security on
you two.”

Rakell’s face drained of blood. The

room shrank considerably. “It won’t happen
again,” she promised, shaking her head.
“Let’s keep this between us girls.” Her moist
eyes begged. “Please.”

162/275

Unmoved, Alisa raised one eyebrow.

“I take pride in being a very honest person.
Lies and secrets aren’t my thing.”

Rakell stepped closer to Alisa’s desk.

Her stomach was rolling with nausea. This
couldn’t be happening. Alisa needed to un-
derstand that the relationship she had with
Jerzy wasn’t some shady arrangement. “He
and I really care about each other. We don’t
want to keep it a secret or lie to people, but
we have to right now.”

Alisa rolled her big blue eyes. “I’ve

been with lots of guys. It doesn’t matter how
blonde I am, how perfect my body is, or how
much hot sex we have, they all get bored or
obnoxious eventually. Men are just toys that
shouldn’t be taken seriously.” She shrugged.
“If you want to let some boy ruin your repu-
tation, that’s on you.” She turned back to her
computer and continued her work. Numbed

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by shock, Rakell stood staring at Alisa for a
while. Alisa ignored her. The phone on Al-
isa’s desk rang. Alisa put on her pageant
queen voice and cheerleader smile and
picked up the receiver. “Faculty offices. This
is Alisa. How may I help you?” Rakell finally
walked away. When she reached the glass
exit doors, Alisa called out to her. “Your skirt
is wrinkled in the back, Professor Dunn.”

Rakell continued out the door without

looking back. As she walked across campus
to her car she was sure everyone walking
around her was seeing her crumpled skirt
and realizing exactly what she’d been doing
in her office that afternoon. Mortified, she
smoothed her hand down the back of her
skirt and hurried to the parking lot.

Home, Rakell lay in bed suffering

from a terrible stress headache. How the hell
could Alisa get that insulted by my joke
when she’s the one that insults everyone

164/275

around her with her blunt, insensitive com-
ments on a daily basis? Maybe the reason
you can’t keep a man, Alisa, is because
you’re a rude, conceited one-dimensional
slut! It didn’t matter that Alisa was being a
bitter bitch. The girl had dirt on Rakell and
Jerzy.

The thought of telling Jerzy of the

danger they might be in made Rakell’s head
throb and her heart ache. She didn’t want
Jerzy to get hurt. She didn’t want to lose
him.

They’d both been stupid to fool

around at school. Whatever consequences
resulted from their carelessness they would
have to take it sitting down.

However, it was possible that Alisa

would keep her mouth shut. Maybe Alisa just
wanted Rakell to know she had the upper

165/275

hand so that Rakell would think twice about
insulting her again.

Jerzy didn’t need to hear her specula-

tion about Alisa. Rakell would spare him the
worry. If she found out something more def-
inite, she would let him know. For now, she
wanted nothing more than to enjoy him to-
night. If she was going to have a grenade
thrown into her personal life as soon as to-
morrow, she wanted some good memories to
hold onto in the aftermath.

Jerzy, wearing a white, long-sleeved

button-down and black designer jeans, took
Rakell’s hand as she stepped out of the pas-
senger seat of his black Camaro. She was his
fantasy made flesh, in a smooth black dress
with long sleeves, shiny black high heels, and
with her hair in a sleek chignon. Sexy, but
sophisticated; his favorite flavors.

Her

166/275

brown skin was radiant, even under the dim
lights in the alley beside the restaurant. Jerzy
gave her his arm, she took it, and he walked
them to the side door of the restaurant, ac-
cessible from the alley.

“Why didn’t we go through this door

last time I came here?”

“That would have ruined my surprise,

Sweetheart.”

Rakell grinned. She dropped her smile

and squeezed his arm to get his attention be-
fore he unlocked the door. Her eyes twinkled
with naughtiness. “I’m scared, Jerzy. I can’t
be seen with you. I feel like I’m going to
faint. Is there anything you can do to calm
me down?”

Jerzy smirked. “Here. This might

help.” He cornered her until her back was
pressed against the door and kissed her,
sucking at her bottom lip whilst his hand

167/275

crept under her dress. He rubbed a circle on
her inner thigh with his palm. Then his hand
traveled higher. His fingertips slid across her
skin along the top of her panties.

Rakell giggled against Jerzy’s mouth.

“That tickles.” Jerzy’s hand slid lower and
touched her intimately through the lacy fab-
ric. “Mmm. That doesn’t tickle at all,” she
whispered.

He slowly drew his hand and mouth

away. “Let’s go to my place after dinner.”

She smiled. “Sounds good to me.”

Jerzy opened the side door and they

stepped from the dark and empty alley into
the bright bustling kitchen. Rakell immedi-
ately felt the change in energy. There was
glistening stainless steel, billowing steam
and blue flames, and the mouthwatering
aroma of browning meat. The diverse res-
taurant crew, all in crisp white and black

168/275

uniforms, flowed in, out and around the kit-
chen, their voices calling out dinner orders
and instructions over one another. The activ-
ity seemed chaotic, but everyone in the crew
was working together toward the goal of cre-
ating memorable food and service at Jerzy’s
restaurant.

Jerzy introduced Rakell to Chef

Anderson. He had long curly blond hair like
a hippie and a dark handlebar mustache like
a villain in a silent film. His individual style
was a reflection of his unique creative talent
in the kitchen. Even though the kitchen was
busy and hectic, Chef Anderson happily took
time out to give Rakell a lesson on how to
create rose shapes with a piping bag. He
filled the piping bag with garlic and truffle
butter mashed potatoes and demonstrated
how to hold the bag, where to apply pressure
and how to move the tip to create a rose on
the plate. He let Rakell have a try. Jerzy’s
hand rested on the small of her back, a sign

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of his support and affection. Rakell concen-
trated and moved slowly with the piping bag,
following Chef Anderson’s instructions.
When she finished the rose, the chef gave her
a high five and nodded at Jerzy. “She’s a nat-
ural,” Anderson smiled. “You’re not gonna
replace me with her are you?” He winked.

“I don’t think I can pull off that mus-

tache,” Rakell joked. Anderson laughed and
wiggled his whiskers.

Jerzy’s hand was ever-present at her

back as he guided her through the kitchen.
They watched the cooks flip and toss food
from the pans into the air. As they continued
through, Jerzy pulled a waiter aside and told
him to get two place settings ready in the
Blue Room. Rakell got to see prep cooks
kneading fresh dough and feeding it into the
pasta machine to be flattened into sheets and
cut into circles for dumplings and pierogi.

The

dessert

kitchen

was

a

sugary

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wonderland. Jerzy introduced Rakell to Chef
Pillet who was making chocolate garnishes.
Using white and milk chocolate, he created
anything from flames and lightning bolts, to
lip prints and butterflies that would top the
cakes, ice creams, crepes and mousses served
at Smak.

Chef Pillet smiled at Rakell. “How is

your name spelled, mademoiselle?” The chef
wrote her name in chocolate on a silicone
baking sheet. Once the chocolate cooled and
set, he carefully lifted it from the sheet and
handed to her. Rakell held it in her palm and
admired the delicate flourishes of each letter
of her name written in dark chocolate.

“It’s beautiful,” she smiled, and then

took a big bite out of it.

Chef Pillet laughed. “I like her, Mr.

JP!”

Rakell blushed. “I’m a little hungry.”

171/275

Jerzy laughed as well and rubbed her

back. “I hear ya. I’ve got dinner waiting for
us in the private dining room.”

The private dining room, called the

Blue Room, was as the name described. The
walls were a vibrant sky blue. The tray ceil-
ing was stenciled with blue silhouettes of
jungle animals in motion. The long antique
dining table was topped with a custom-cut
pane of indigo blue glass and the regal high
back chairs were painted chrome blue. Even
the lit candlesticks were blue. White and sil-
ver details throughout the room softened the
intensity of so much blue; white flowers on
the table, silver candleholders, and white
sconces.

Jerzy smiled at Rakell’s amazed ex-

pression. “You like it?”

“Yes! It’s stunning! Like something

out of an art installation.”

172/275

He pulled out a chair for her. “It was

my idea. I’ve been getting a lot of reserva-
tions for dinner parties in this private room
ever since I had it redesigned.”

“You’re a brilliant man, Baby.” Rakell

sat down.

“Thank you.” He leaned over and

kissed her on the cheek after pushing in her
chair. He poured two glasses of Merlot and
uncovered one of two silver platters at their
end of the table. Two warm plates of breaded
pork cutlets, truffle mashed potatoes, and
sweet and sour red cabbage. Getting their
fill, they moved onto dessert. Jerzy removed
the silver lid on the second platter to reveal a
dessert of crepes filled with bananas in but-
ter rum sauce. White chocolate and dark
chocolate hearts and wedding rings were
doodled all around the rim of their dessert
plates.

173/275

“Awww, how cute!” Rakell squealed.

“I think Chef Pillet is trying to tell us

something. I wonder what it is,” Jerzy joked.

Rakell took a bite of her dessert.

“Yummmyyy! I think Chef Pillet was trying
to tell you that I would marry him after a
taste of this crepe.”

“I’m not going to let you go that

easily.”

“Really?”

“Of course not. I’d have to kick him in

his…croissant.”

“Ooo. Well at least you’re not gonna

kick him in the baguette.”

“Whoa. A baguette? You’re way too

generous. An éclair maybe.”

174/275

Rakell burst out laughing and ex-

claimed, “I love you!”

Jerzy smiled at her and studied her

eyes, searching for truth in them. “I—”

“I mean that I love how you always

make me smile,” Rakell interrupted, so as
not to have the conversation move into awk-
ward territory.

“I want you to smile every day. That’s

how it should be. That’s my mission.”

“So far, mission accomplished.” She

raised her wine glass.

“My brother took the night off, but my

father is here. Would you like to be
introduced?”

She shook her head. “Are you sure you

want him to know about me?”

175/275

He leaned forward and held her gaze.

“I’m not ashamed of you.”

She looked away from his green eyes

and nodded. “I guess I should meet him to-
night and get it over with.” She gulped down
the remainder of her wine.

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry. First, I want

to show you my office.”

Down at the end of the hall from the

blue room were three offices. Rakell read the
nameplates on the two doors on the right
wall of the hall, Yuri Piotrowsky and Michal
Piotrowsky. She wondered which one was
Jerzy’s dad and which one was his brother.
On the left side of the hall was the door to
Jerzy’s office. The décor matched the style of
the restaurant. The office furniture was
black, and the same red and white wallpaper
decorated the walls. What personalized
Jerzy’s office were the plants in two corners

176/275

of the room and the pictures on the wall.
Rakell felt his energy change when she took
notice of the pictures. He pulled away from
her when she began looking at the framed
family photos of vacations, birthdays, holi-
day dinners, and graduations. “I’m going to
check on my portfolio,” he said. He went to
his computer and checked the status of his
investments online.

Rakell wanted to ask him questions

about the moments captured in the photos
and about his stunning, stylish mother, but
she could tell he would not be comfortable
reminiscing. He was emotionally detached as
his eyes scanned the computer screen. She
went to him and sat gently on his lap. She
kissed at his pouty mouth. Jerzy’s hand
abandoned the computer mouse to grasp her
waist. Rakell rested her head in the crook of
his neck and played with the white pearly
buttons on his white shirt. “I wish I had the
happy family you had,” she confessed.

177/275

He sighed and rubbed her

shoulder. “I wish you had that, too. But noth-
ing lasts forever, and it hurts like hell when it
ends.”

“It’s better to have loved. Right?”

“Maybe.”

“If something happens, and you

and I aren’t able to be…what we are to each
other, would you be satisfied that at least we
met each other, shared laughs and comfort-
ing words and, I must add, had some great
sex?”

“No.”

Rakell’s heart fell. She lifted her

head from his shoulder and looked at him.
“No?” She wanted him to say yes. She was
trying to stay optimistic, to tell herself that if
tonight was their last night together she

178/275

would move on with her life a more complete
person or some shit like that. She wanted to
believe she wouldn’t feel empty or sad or
lonely at all. Gratitude was what she wanted
to feel when they came to the end of the
road.

“I know I said that I wanted a

dream world with you, but now I’m being
moved to bring you into my reality, into my
everyday life.”

Rakell immediately kissed him.

God, do I love his mouth! The things it can
do, and the things it can say… Rakell tried
to break the furious kiss but Jerzy moved
forward when she pulled backward, determ-
ined to keep possession of her lips with his.
Determined not to get caught up in another
embarrassing in-office session, Rakell even-
tually broke away. “You were saying?”

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Jerzy licked at his lips. “I can’t profess

my feelings for you to the entire city, but I
can introduce my family to you so that you
can have the true sense that you are import-
ant to me. We can go see my father across
the hall right now. Ready?”

She nodded. “Nope.”

Jerzy laughed. “He’s harmless.”

Mr. Yuri Piotrowsky had a shaved

head, pierced ears and dark brown eyes. In
an all-black suit with a red pocket square, his
look was intimidating. He looked up unsmil-
ing when Jerzy and Rakell walked into his
office.

“Hey Pop, this is Rakell. Rakell, this is

my father Yuri.”

The tall man stood from his desk, met

Rakell’s eyes and gave her a big smile. The

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smile transformed his face. He greeted her.
“Hello, Beautiful.”

She shook his hand. “Hi. Nice to meet

you, sir,” she said shyly.

He studied her eyes. “You’re older

than my son, aren’t you?”

Rakell hesitated. Was she prepared to

defend herself? “Yes, sir,” she answered,
ending the awkward silence.

“May I ask what you do for a living?”

“I’m a college professor.”

“A teacher. Very admirable. I’m glad

Jerzy’s with a woman who is mature and in-
telligent, unlike those girls he dated who
wanted some kind of sugardaddy rather than
a meaningful relationship with my son. He
doesn’t deserve to be used. He’s a good
man.”

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“I couldn’t agree more.”

Yuri sat down on the corner of his big

desk. His gaze moved back and forth from
Rakell to his son. “I’ve been worried about
my son ever since his mother passed away.
He opened Smak in Halina’s memory, but he
approached it as a business venture. He
committed to it in his mind and not his
heart. I don’t mean to shame you, Jerzy, by
saying that, not at all.”

Jerzy nodded.

“I’ve noticed lately that my son has

had a spark of warmth again, like he had
when his mother was here. His attitude has
changed. He’s excited about the restaurant,
he’s been experimenting with new menu
items, and even interacting more with the
customers. I’ve seen him asking our custom-
ers about how to improve their experience so
that they can feel welcomed the way my late

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wife welcomed everyone around her dinner
table. I can see that Jerzy’s heart is in it one
hundred percent. I now see why. He’s mov-
ing on from the pain of the past and believ-
ing in a brighter future, thanks to you. You
woke up his heart, Miss Rakell.”

Her hands were shaking. She was

already astonished that Jerzy’s father had
nothing negative to say about her. Hearing
from him that Jerzy was happier because of
her was unbelievable. She only saw herself as
a woman holding Jerzy back and putting him
in harm’s way. What had she done to deserve
this praise? “If—” She had to stop and clear
the lump from her throat. “If that’s true, I’m
happy I’ve been a positive influence on your
son and your family’s beautiful restaurant.”

Jerzy kissed her temple. “Of course

it’s true,” he whispered.

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Rakell fought back tears. “You’re very

kind, Mr. Piotrowsky.”

“I hope that we can all have dinner to-

gether soon as a family, with my other son,
his wife and my two grandchildren. Halina
would have liked something like that.”

“I’d love that. Thank you.”

Jerzy brought Rakell to his penthouse.

The apartment was clean and airy, and a mix
of modern and traditional design. The view
of the cityscape through the wall of windows
in the living area was breathtaking. Dark and
light grays and white were the main paint
colors throughout the open floor plan. A red
brick wall, brown leather couches, circular
lamp shades, and round rugs softened and
warmed the space. Wordlessly, Jerzy took
her hand and led her to his bedroom. The
view of the city in his bedroom was more

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magnificent than in the living room. The en-
tire wall behind his spacious bed was glass.
The shades were open, allowing in the view
of the darkened buildings around them.
There was just enough light from the waning
moon to illuminate the room. Jerzy slid his
hands down her sleeved arms and grasped
her soft hands. He pulled her towards him.
Rakell moved her hips in a brief salsa step as
she neared him. He smiled and lifted her
hands to his shoulders. She locked her fin-
gers behind his neck and their bodies
pressed together.

Jerzy tilted his head and studied her

face. “You are so sexy. Remind me to take
you out dancing.”

“That would be fun,” Rakell smiled.

She dropped one hand from the nape of his
neck and rubbed her hand in a circle on his
firm behind. “I already know that you can
move your hips,” she whispered.

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Jerzy drew in a slow breath. His lust-

ful gaze intensified. The memory of taking
Rakell while she was bent over her desk that
afternoon excited Jerzy. He pressed his groin
closer to hers.

Rakell felt him against her thigh,

growing, getting hard. She wanted to savor
every inch of him. “I’m going to take care of
you tonight, Jerzy.” She moved her thigh to
brush across his hardness.

Jerzy smiled seductively. “How so?”

Her fingers softly gripped his hair. “I

want to ride you. Nice and slow.”

“You can have the reigns, Baby,” Jerzy

whispered. He kissed her softly.

Rakell had never dared to take control

in the bedroom before. She was very excited
that Jerzy was accepting. She wanted to be in

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control and she wanted to please him. Rakell
kissed him, tasting his tongue and nipping
gently at his lips. She broke the kiss and
turned her back to him. “Help me out of this
dress.”

Jerzy carefully unzipped the back of

her black dress. Slowly, Rakell pulled her
arms from the sleeves and pulled the dress
down her hips, enjoying that Jerzy was
standing close behind her, watching. She felt
his hands begin to unfasten her strapless
bra. “No,” she said. She looked over her
shoulder. “No touching. Just watch.” She
reached behind her back and unfastened the
bra herself. She pulled down her panties,
slow and deliberate, arching her back a little
to show off her ass. She heard him exhale
deeply. She turned around to face him. His
eyes appreciated her naked body, especially
her chest. She stepped forward and he
reached his hand out for her breast.

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She brushed his hand away. “I said no

touching.”

“You’re being cruel.”

“I like seeing that you want me as

badly as I want you,” she smirked.

Jerzy shook his head at her, smiling.

Rakell stepped closer, a few inches

away from him. “Remove your clothes,
please.”

Jerzy unbuttoned his shirt, removed

his shoes, removed his pants, and finally
pulled off his boxer briefs. His member
sprang forth. Rakell’s special place began to
throb with need. She ran her hands up and
down his sculpted body. Her palms rubbed
down his taut nipples and his abdomen. She
enjoyed the feel of his hot skin. Feeling ad-
venturous, she grasped his hardness in her
hand. She looked up at him as she tentatively

188/275

ran her fingers along his shaft. Jerzy tensed
and an agreeable groan rumbled in his
throat. She traced the ridge on the underside
of his member and circled her thumb on the
head. Jerzy clenched his jaw and sucked in a
breath through his teeth at the pleasurable
sensation.

Emboldened,

she

reached

between his legs and fondled his sack. He let
out a moan. Rakell’s excitement soared in re-
sponse. “Lie down on the bed,” she urged.

Once he was flat on his back on the

big bed, she hurriedly got on all fours over
top of him and engaged him in a hungry kiss.
She moved her lips from his mouth down to
his chest, kissing his skin and teasing his
nipples with her tongue. Jerzy’s large hands
grabbed on to her behind. She nibbled at his
skin and then sat back in his lap to rake her
fingernails down his chest and smooth her
hands down his muscular thighs. As her
hands moved back up his thighs and over his
hip bones she noticed that he arched his

189/275

back slightly. She immediately brought her
mouth down to the sensitive spot at the
meeting of his thigh and hip. She kissed at it
and licked at it, eliciting a sigh of pleasure.
Unable to wait any longer, Rakell positioned
herself and clutched his hard member to
guide it. Her eyes locked on his, she slowly
lowered herself, taking the thick length of
him deep inside of her. For a moment she sat
motionless, holding onto the initial feeling of
total fullness. Then she began a slow, steady
ride, allowing both of them to enjoy a sear-
ing, gradual ascent to a splendid release.

Jerzy’s hands were all over her, loving

her soft brown skin. As she rode him, he
caressed her behind, her back, her shoulders,
her breasts, her stomach and her hips.
“You’re so beautiful,” he uttered.

She believed him. Rakell believed for

once in her life that she was beautiful. She
also felt powerful, yet vulnerable and fearful.

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She feared that she would not have him in
her life for much longer and that her heart
would be left severely weakened. Being in-
timate with him was a divine experience. She
felt loved from all angles. She didn’t want to
let go. Rakell blinked away the tears that
were beginning to form. She placed her
hands over his as he caressed her breasts.
She closed her eyes and added gentle gyra-
tions to her movement. She moaned as she
found her sweet spot and then angled her
hips to continue the stimulation.

Once she began to bounce eagerly on

top of him, Jerzy knew she was close. He lif-
ted his hips up from the bed to meet her
downward motions.

Jerzy’s thrusts soon sent Rakell over

the edge. “J!” she exclaimed as her body was
racked with pleasure. She slumped forward,
zapped of energy.

191/275

Jerzy hadn’t finished yet. As Rakell

caught her breath, he caressed her face,
kissed her wrists and felt her pulse against
his lips, and stroked her breasts as he waited
for her nerves to cool down.

She finally looked at him with a shy

smile. “Sorry.”

He chuckled, finding her sudden coy-

ness adorable. He pulled on her arms. “Come
here, Baby.”

With him still hard inside her, she

leaned forward and kissed him, lying on top
of him with her legs cradled between his.
Jerzy embraced her and flipped her over on
her back as they kissed. He allowed his body
to rest fully against hers. Rakell was pressed
firmly into the bed by his weight. She felt
safe and aroused as her entire body was in
contact with his. He began to rock back and
forth inside of her. Rakell was surprised to

192/275

feel tension building between her legs again.
As Jerzy moved, his body slid against hers,
rubbing her nipples, belly and thighs with his
skin. Both of them moaned at the pleasing
friction. He kissed at her jawline as he drove
into her. Jerzy’s rocking felt very good to
Rakell, inside and out. Since they were sand-
wiched so close together he was brushing
against her clit with the base of his member
with each thrust. Rakell was struck with a
second rapturous orgasm. “Yes, yes!” she
cried and grasped at his back. Tears spilled
from her eyes as the waves crashed through
her body. Jerzy fists clenched the sheets and
he moaned her name as he came hard inside
her.

He rested his forehead on her

shoulder as he recouped. Drowsy with affec-
tion for him, Rakell kissed Jerzy’s shoulder
and languidly rubbed his damp back. Jerzy
lifted his face and studied her moist eyes
with his tired ones. He smiled and kissed

193/275

her, wagging his tongue side to side in her
mouth until she laughed against his lips. He
pulled away and admired her smile. “That’s
what I love to see.” He pulled out of her and
transferred most of his weight to his left side
to lie beside her. Rakell turned onto her side
and they cuddled up, her back to his front,
and, after Jerzy gave Rakell a final kiss on
the cheek, they fell asleep.

In the morning, gentle sun rays

stirred Jerzy from his sleep. He woke up with
a beautiful woman in his arms and a hard-on
between his legs. He nuzzled at Rakell’s
shoulder until she opened her eyes. He
hugged her and waited for her to smile. He
needed that smile. It reassured him that he
was still welcomed in her life. He believed
that her most honest assessment of him was
when she was just waking up to him touch-
ing her. At that moment he was the first and
only thing on her mind. Her response to his
presence in her mind and her presence in his

194/275

arms needed to be a smile. Otherwise, he
knew it was time to leave. He ignored that
warning sign in past relationships. Rakell
smiled and his heart fluttered. He nudged at
the meeting of her thighs with his hardness.
Instantly Rakell drew her right leg back and
rested it on top of his to part her thighs and
give him access. He reached his hand down
her front between her legs and worked her
button until she was warm and wet for him.
Remaining in the spooning position, he
entered her from behind while cupping her
breast. They made love, moving together,
meeting each other’s bodies in their prac-
ticed rhythm. Rakell learned that Jerzy’s
stamina was incredible first thing in the
morning. There was no need for a cup of cof-
fee to remove the sleep from her eyes. Her
body was awakened by the slightest touch of
his loving hands. She became charged when
he was near, and once they were together it
was difficult to pull away. Like two magnets.

195/275

Wearing Jerzy’s white button-down

and nothing more, Rakell went to Jerzy’s
side as he cooked omelets and hash browns
in his gourmet kitchen. She readied cups of
hot green tea to complete the morning meal.
They sat at the dining table and ate. Jerzy
was quiet. He studied her messy hair, her
feminine curves filling out his white shirt,
her stunning dark eyes, her glowing brown
skin, and her lips that could part into the
most captivating smiles. She was humble,
funny, smart, sensual and adventurous.
Rakell had passed every test his heart ad-
ministered, but he found himself still doubt-
ing the truth.

Rakell frowned. “Is everything okay,

Jerzy?”

He shook his head. “I’m being

haunted by the past.”

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Rakell’s heart hurt to see the sadness

in his troubled eyes. She went to him and
straddled him in his seat. His hands found
her hips. Rakell ran her fingers through his
hair and stroked his ears. “The first time we
made love and you held me afterward, I star-
ted crying because I was thinking about the
past. In the past, I was made to feel like my
body was undesirable and that all I had
between my legs was a convenient recept-
acle. Now I know that my body is a source of
pleasure and a vessel for new life. I’m beauti-
ful in my eyes now, because I am beautiful in
yours. Don’t think. Just feel. That’s what you
told me our first night together. We’ve got to
let go of the past to really appreciate what we
have in this moment.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I know.” Rakell initiated a tender

kiss. She felt his longing and vulnerability as
his lips sought hers.

197/275

Jerzy wrapped his arms around her

waist and gazed into her eyes. “Nothing in
the world makes me happier than to see you
smile. I keep getting worried that you’ll leave
like other women in my life have, and that
some other guy will get your smiles, your
laughs, your hugs and your kisses. I can’t get
enough of you. I honestly don’t know if I
could take it if you weren’t in my life.”

Tears spilled from Rakell’s eyes. Her

lips and her stomach were trembling. Her
thighs squeezed closer to his sides. “Jerzy,
I…” She stopped herself from confessing the
depth of her feelings, stopped herself from
saying those three dangerous words. She
shook her head. “Jerzy, I don’t want to go.
I’m so blessed to have you in my life. I’ve
been thinking that maybe I’ve been so at-
tached to you because you’re the only man
I’ve shared myself with completely, other
than my ex. But really I feel so close to you

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because you’ve shared yourself completely
with me, too. Not just your body, your time,
or your money. You shared your heart. I
don’t know if I could have survived another
aimless year without you. I never imagined I
could be this happy. I could be right here
with you forever,” her voice broke.

Jerzy clenched his jaw to control his

emotions. His eyes were wet. “I feel the same
way.”

Rakell smiled through her tears and

hugged him around the neck. Jerzy buried
his face in her neck, breathing in her scent,
holding her close. For once the feelings he
had for the special woman in his life weren’t
lopsided. He didn’t feel obsessive, too in-
tense, clingy or needy. He wanted…No, he
needed her the same way she needed him.
He grinned and kissed at her neck. He was
ecstatic, but fearful. Now what? We want to
be together, but I’m still her student. Maybe

199/275

if he dropped out of school that would solve
everything. It was time he seriously looked
into the college’s policy on students dating
faculty members, so he could take Rakell out
on little adventures any time of the day he
wanted.

Rakell used to think she had a low li-

bido, but what she’d actually been suffering
from was low satisfaction. Now that she was
with a passionate man who knew her body,
who wanted her satisfaction more than his
own, and who was well-endowed, she wanted
sex all the time. Jerzy had no problem meet-
ing her needs. Rakell and Jerzy spent the en-
tire weekend together between her place and
his penthouse, and at his restaurant, enjoy-
ing good food and enjoying each other.
Returning to work Monday morning was like
walking the plank over shark-swarmed

200/275

waters. Imagine her surprise when one of the
sharks smiled at her.

“Hello,

Professor

Dunn,”

Alisa

beamed.

“Hi?”

“How was your weekend?”

“Very good. Thanks.”

Alisa nodded. “So you did the right

thing?”

Rakell blinked. “You mean ending it

with you-know-who?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Sure. It’s over, so you don’t have to

worry your pretty little head about it ever
again.”

201/275

Alisa grinned and sighed with relief.

“Thank you.”

Rakell continued to her office. “Wow,”

she murmured under her breath. Seated be-
hind her desk she immediately noticed
something missing. She looked behind the
keyboard, underneath the papers on her
desk and in all the drawers, but couldn’t find
her special yellow pencil anywhere. “That
damn cleaning lady,” she grumbled. This
wasn’t the first time her personal property
was regarded as trash and removed by the
cleaning lady. Rakell should have put the
pencil in one of the drawers instead of on top
of the desk to keep it from that old woman’s
indiscriminate eyes. Annoyed, Rakell went
about her usual tasks. She was startled
twenty minutes in by Alisa’s voice bursting
from the intercom speaker on the telephone.
“Professor Dunn, there’s a delivery here for
you,” the receptionist spat, barely concealing
her anger.

202/275

Rakell opened the door and smiled

when she saw the bouquet on the corner of
Alisa’s desk. She knew immediately who they
were from. Alisa glared at Rakell as she
walked down the hall to claim her gift, but it
didn’t faze Rakell. She picked up the gor-
geous arrangement of delicate pink Oriental
lilies and pink roses. She touched her nose to
a rose and inhaled its gentle scent. The card
tied to the vase simply read:

Smile!

Love,

JP

Rakell grinned. Feeling the hole that

the blonde was burning into her face with
her gaze, Rakell finally looked at the girl.
Rakell shrugged. “What can I say? The boy is
hooked.”

203/275

Alisa’s

jaw

dropped.

Her

nose

wrinkled in disgust and confusion. She
huffed and puffed but had nothing to say.
Rakell chuckled and sashayed back to her of-
fice, sniffing the precious flowers in her
hands.

As soon as Rakell closed the office

door behind her, Alisa picked up the phone
and called the dean’s office.

The next day, Rakell found Alisa in a

good mood, bubbly, just like her usual self.
You are freakin’ bipolar, little girl. At least
that meant Alisa wasn’t holding a grudge
against her any longer.

“Good morning, Professor Dunn!”

“Good morning, Alisa.”

204/275

Rakell went to her office. She tried to

grade some papers but her mind was else-
where. She hadn’t spent any time with Jerzy
yesterday except for a couple minutes after
class. He hadn’t made any plans with her for
today either. She missed him terribly after
only one day apart, and her skeptical mind
was having a field day analyzing Jerzy’s
words and actions and interpreting them in-
to evidence that his interest in her was de-
teriorating. Was he bored with her already?
Was he about to do what her ex-husband
did, doing a 180 degree personality change
now that he knew he had her wrapped
around his finger? Maybe he’d come to the
realization that being in an outwardly mis-
matched relationship with her was more
work than he was willing to do. In her heart
she knew if she called Jerzy up and ex-
pressed her concerns he would gently scold
her and lull her fears with adoring words in
his deep soothing voice. Still, she needed to

205/275

actually hear it or she’d drive herself crazy
the rest of the day. As she reached for her
handbag to get her cell phone, there was a
knock at her door. She sat up straight in her
chair, hoping it was Jerzy. “Come in,” she
called.

It was Fiona Guzman, assistant dean

of the college. The heavyset woman adjusted
the jacket of her red pantsuit after locking
the door behind her. Her long, wavy black
hair was always kept in a braided ponytail.
“Hello, Rakell.”

“Good

morning,

Mrs.

Guzman.

Um…What brings you to my office?”

Guzman sat in the chair in front of

Rakell’s desk. “Professor Dunn, I got an an-
onymous phone call yesterday from a person
who accuses you of being involved with one
of your male students. What do you make of
that?”

206/275

Rakell’s chest burned with anger. “Did

she—or he—tell you the name of the
student?”

“Piotrowsky.”

Rakell nodded though her heart was

sinking. “Piotrowsky visits my office a lot.
He’s an interesting young man and I enjoy
talking to him. I can see how our casual
banter would raise questions.”

“I see. I’m inclined to believe you.

You’ve been an asset to this college for the
last seven years. However…”

Jerzy decided to take the chance and

visit Rakell at her office. He’d have to be
strong and make sure they kept their hands
to themselves. They’d been lucky not to get
caught the last time he visited her office.

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Now that he’d done some research, he knew
the frightening details of what could happen
to Rakell in terms of her teaching career and
her life. Simmons County Community Col-
lege could even take legal action against her.
Dropping Rakell’s class and ending his en-
rollment at the college was the smart thing to
do. He was headed to break that news to
Rakell.

He would miss sitting in her class and

watching her lecture. She was a great teach-
er, and he had to admit it was beyond sexy
being the teacher’s pet. Rakell seemed to
really enjoy giving him private tutoring. He
grinned as he walked across campus toward
the faculty office building. He missed Rakell
badly. He’d never ached for a woman this
much after only one day apart. He’d been
keeping some distance from her lately be-
cause, after reading some horror stories on-
line, he was worried. He was probably over-
reacting—I’m not a teenager being taken

208/275

advantage of. No one’s going to jail.—but he
couldn’t live with himself if Rakell was hurt
in any way for wanting to be by his side.

Jerzy entered the faculty building and

received the usual fake smile from the recep-
tionist, but he noticed the smile was extra
painful for her to do today.

“Professor Dunn is busy right now,”

she said.

“Oh. Is she talking to someone?”

The receptionist’s phony smile be-

came a smug smirk. “I heard some telltale
sounds coming from Professor Dunn’s office
last week. The assistant dean is having a
word with her about it.”

Jerzy stared at her in disbelief. He

shook his head. “No.”

209/275

“I warned Professor Dunn what would

happen if she didn’t end her disgusting rela-
tionship with you.”

His top lip curled. He jabbed his fin-

ger at her. “You don’t know shit.” He strode
down the hall to Rakell’s office. He put his
ear to the door, praying that Alisa was lying.
His stomach dropped as he heard a woman’s
authoritative voice. Alisa opened her mouth
like she was about to rat on him. Jerzy threw
Alisa a vicious look, daring her to say
something. Her mouth snapped closed and
her whole face blushed red. Indignantly, she
went back to typing, and Jerzy continued to
listen in on the conversation.

“…as vice dean of Simmons County

Community College, I have to take a com-
plaint about possible inappropriate teacher-
student relationships very seriously. Such
conduct would reflect poorly on this school.
Unfortunately, I will have to conduct a very

210/275

thorough investigation. The investigation is
confidential. None of your peers will know
about it. If I find anything during my invest-
igation, I will meet with the dean to decide
what disciplinary actions to take. I hope it
doesn’t come to that. I’ll be keeping an eye
on you for a while.”

Jerzy’s green eyes burned with anger

and sadness. He wanted to scream. Rakell
hadn’t done anything wrong. He was the one
who propositioned her. He was the one that
pushed her into having sex in her office. This
was all his fault. He could only imagine how
humiliated Rakell was feeling right now. Ur-
gently he wanted to hold her, kiss her, and
comfort her, but he had to leave. He exited
the building, but not before saying a few
words to the blonde at the reception desk.
“I’m in love with her. Think about that be-
fore you go to sleep tonight.” Alisa was pleas-
antly silent.

211/275

Jerzy left campus on edge. He sat in

his Camaro in the parking lot with no will to
go anywhere. Guilt and worry were paralyz-
ing him. If he quit school now, it would look
suspicious. If he called Rakell, that could be
used against her if the vice dean requested
her phone records. Was the vice dean al-
lowed to do that? He wasn’t sure. Could the
dean hire a private investigator to watch
Rakell’s home or question her neighbors? I
don’t know. I don’t know anything. I’m a
fucking idiot. He couldn’t risk it. No more
visits to her home. No more phone calls.
He’d find some other way to talk to her.
Jerzy sighed. “I need to see her. I need to
know if she’s okay.”

When Mrs. Guzman left her office,

Rakell was pissed off, but relieved. She was
confident that the vice dean would find noth-
ing. Rakell never used the office phone to call

212/275

Jerzy and never sent him any emails from
her school email account. She’d even taken
the flowers he’d sent her yesterday home
with her. Alisa’s account was the only thing
Mrs. Guzman could hold against Rakell and
that was as flimsy as the blonde’s false
lashes. Determined not to let Alisa trip her
up, Rakell remained in her office for thirty
minutes more to grade a few papers. When
she left her office she had a few things for Al-
isa’s stubborn ears to hear. Rakell rested
against the front of the reception desk. She
saw that Alisa’s eyes were red, but she didn’t
care why. Rakell glared down at the girl.
“Nothing is going to come out of this, Alisa.
There’s no proof. In the end, he and I are go-
ing to be together. And you? You’ll still be
you. How sad.”

Eyes wet and lips trembling, Alisa

jumped up from her seat. “You are screwing
one of your students, Professor Dunn!” she
exclaimed, trying to shame Rakell and

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hoping other faculty and staff in the building
would hear.

Rakell kept her voice even. “Bitch, you

just wish you were me.”

Alisa paused, blushed, and then

laughed, unsmiling. “Be you? Become the
laughingstock of this college? No thanks,
honey. Even if you don’t get fired, the gossip
that’s gonna spread across campus is going
to make you wish you had been.”

Rakell stepped back from the desk

and pointed to her butt. “Smooches.” She
strutted out the door and went to her car.
She rested in the driver’s seat a moment to
regroup. A chuckle burst from her mouth.
Because she was lucky enough to have a guy
like Jerzy in her life, what other people
thought about her didn’t matter so much
anymore. Losing her job wasn’t scary any-
more. So this was the new way to feel that

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Jerzy had described. It was like having the
world at your fingertips and realizing that it’s
made of clay. She could mold her world into
what she wanted it to be. Nothing Alisa had
started was permanent. Rakell could reshape
her life and make it better than before. She
wanted to be with Jerzy tonight. Rakell star-
ted her car while she called him with her cell.
It rang and rang and eventually went to
voicemail. “Hey Baby. It’s me. I’ve had a
crazy day. I need to see you tonight. Call me
back as soon as you can.”

While driving home, Rakell glanced

up at her rear view mirror. Her heart jumped
at the sight of the black Camaro behind her.
“Jerzy?” She wasn’t sure it was him until she
made a couple more turns and saw that the
car was still behind her. She smiled. He was
following her. Rakell wished his windows
weren’t so tinted so that she could see his
face.

215/275

Jerzy followed Rakell into her neigh-

borhood. He slowed as she parked in her
driveway and stepped out of her car. As she
walked to the end of the driveway in the dir-
ection of his vehicle, he saw that her beauti-
ful brown eyes were bright and dry. She was
even smiling. He exhaled, reassured that
Rakell was a resilient woman who could
handle the investigation and keep her head
up until he could be with her again. Then he
did one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

Rakell stopped in her tracks as she

witnessed Jerzy drive way, right past her
without any acknowledgement. She stared at
the receding black car. “What is he doing?”
She stood there a while, but the car rounded
a corner and disappeared. She hurried to the
passenger side of her car to get her cell
phone from the front seat. She called him, a
few times, but there was no answer. Con-
fused, she went into her house. She
wondered if it was a case of mistaken

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identity, but in her heart she knew without a
doubt that it was his car and that Jerzy was
driving. The rumble of Jerzy’s car was dis-
tinct, and she’d felt his gaze.

Her confusion depreciated into empti-

ness as the night went on without so much as
a text message from Jerzy. She bathed and
ate and straightened up around the house
while she dealt with the rollercoaster of
thoughts in her head. Her mind peaked with
heated accusations, fear and insults and
plummeted into numbness, rushed upwards
again fueled with adoration and trust in his
sweet words, then zoomed back down from
overwhelming longing. She managed to fall
asleep that night by convincing herself things
would become clear in the morning, but
when her eyes opened to the morning light
her vision was clouded with tears.

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VII

Before class the next morning, Rakell

called Jerzy again. When it went immedi-
ately to his voicemail greeting she knew he’d
turned his phone off. Wounded, she left a
message.

“Jerzy…I…Jerzy, just call me. Please.”

She entered the lecture hall a few

minutes late because she needed a moment
to fully gain composure before speaking in
front of her class of nearly one hundred stu-
dents. She wasn’t surprised to see Jerzy’s
seat in the front row empty. Rakell put on a
smile and began giving the second half of her
talk on Paradise Lost. A female student
leaned toward another and began whispering
something in her ear. Rakell did her best to

ignore the suspicion that she was the topic of
the discussion. She turned her head to look
at the other side of the crowd. Her eyes
scanned the room and saw two guys whisper
about something and then look at her with
curious smiles on their faces. Rakell heard
her own voice begin to tremble. She paused
to clear her throat and then continued speak-
ing. Her gaze trailed across the back of the
room and froze on a familiar face. Her voice
crumbled into silence. Jerzy looked away
from her, down at the floor. He’d been sitting
in the back row all along.

In an instant, things became clear. Al-

isa had probably made good on her promise
to spread rumors about Rakell and Jerzy’s
relationship and somehow Jerzy caught wind
of the gossip yesterday, most likely from Tim
McAllister. That’s why he wouldn’t answer
her calls. Rakell thought they would brave it
together when the storm came. Instead, he
abandoned her at the first hint of trouble.

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Someone who really loved her wouldn’t pre-
tend he never knew her. Someone who loved
her wouldn’t sit back and watch her be fed to
the lions. No, he doesn’t love you. He never
told you that. You only assumed. He prom-
ised to protect me no matter what. That was
nothing but a lie. He’s just a sweet talker. ‘A
jerk with a silver tongue.’ Rakell looked
away and raised her chin. A boost of right-
eous anger helped her finish the morning
lecture.

Her drive home was an eerie replay of

the afternoon before. The black Camaro was
her car’s shadow, turning down the same
streets, following her into her neighborhood.
He could follow her home but couldn’t give
her a call? Was it possible that he still cared?
She parked in her driveway and stepped out
of her car, hoping like hell that he would stop
this time. Her spirit dimmed watching him
drive away, deserting her once more.

220/275

Rakell spent a miserable day in her of-

fice. She and Alisa ignored each other and
her colleagues were nervous, awkward, or icy
when she attempted to have any sort of con-
versation. Borrowing a bottle of whiteout
was a crash course in politics. The notion
that she’d escape campus for the weekend
kept her sane. Sitting peacefully at home,
doing nothing at all and talking to no one at
all would be paradise compared to this ex-
amination and judgment. A promise of
solitude was waiting for her at home in the
form of her favorite robe and her favorite ice
cream. Her plan was to hold on to her dig-
nity until she could be miserable in private,
but like Lot’s wife she looked back. There
Jerzy’s black Camaro was, leaving the cam-
pus at the same time she was, right behind
her. It made her skin crawl to be under his
surveillance. She’d had enough. Let me for-
get about you!

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Her body were sizzling with fury when

she got to her drive way and threw her car
door open. She ran to her porch to pick up
the blue blown glass globe that was held by
an angel lawn decoration. She snatched it up
and ran down the driveway, throwing it at
the back of Jerzy’s car without a second
thought. It crashed against his rear wind-
shield, littering his trunk and the road with
glittery blue shards. The car came to a sud-
den stop. “Come back and talk to me, you
coward,” she whispered through gritted
teeth. The car sat in the middle of the road,
engine rumbling. “Come on. Come on!” She
waited for Jerzy to put the car in reverse. In-
stead, he drove away. Bastard! Hot tears ir-
ritated her face and angered her even more.
She grabbed her things from the car and
stomped into her house with her cell phone
at her ear. Jerzy, as usual, didn’t answer so
she left a message. “Stop spying on me or I’ll
call the cops on your stalker ass!”

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Then Rakell became the stalker, un-

able to calm her ire and quit making calls to
his phone. Over the next two days, she called
him incessantly to irritate him, to leave
scathing messages, and, in weak moments,
called just to hear his voice on the voicemail
greeting. By Saturday evening, the number
was disconnected.

Rakell remained restless and mad.

Unlike when she was betrayed by her ex-hus-
band, she wasn’t feeling weak and humili-
ated. What she wanted after this betrayal
was to get even. But there was nothing she
could do to get back at Jerzy without losing
her dignity and class. The best revenge is
moving on, right? But I can’t. Her heart was
still hurting. Her resentment was still burn-
ing. Frustrated to tears, she went to her stor-
age closet to dig for the exercise bike hidden
behind boxes of holiday decorations. She and
exercise weren’t good friends, but she had an

223/275

urge to move, to fight. Negative energy was
poisoning her and a healthy way to release it
was to break a sweat. Plus, she’d end up with
a nice firm ass. Now that is the ultimate
payback.

She woke up Sunday morning with

very sore legs, but knowing precisely how to
get over Jerzy. She’d have to fake it until she
could make it. Time for a makeover.

Rakell stood at the edge of the lecture

hall stage feeling like a queen. Underneath
her usual motherly smile was a conceited
smirk. Her students slowly filled the room.
Each surprised set of eyes, every appreciative
once-over, and all the whispered wow’s and
whoa’s added more steel to her spine. There
were some chuckles of disbelief in the crowd
as well, but Rakell felt too good to let it both-
er her. The students and staff had been

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gossiping about her for days. Her new ap-
pearance would answer their questions and
give Jerzy the slap in the face he deserved.
She was coming out as the naughty teacher.

Sleek black four-inch heels gave her

an instant sense of sensuality and domina-
tion. Her chic black faux leather pencil skirt
ended above the knee and had a generous slit
up the thigh. The pink blouse she wore
tucked into the skirt could’ve been modest,
but she was wearing a black leather corseted
underbust vest over it and the top buttons of
the blouse were open to show off her cleav-
age, for once. The matronly bun in her hair
was long gone, replaced with an edgy, short
style, a lustrous deep brown “Posh” bob.

When Jerzy walked into the lecture

hall he almost tripped over his gaping
mouth. Anger, lust and a hint of fear were in
his green eyes, exactly what she wanted.
Rakell got an incredible adrenaline rush. Her

225/275

classroom had never been so well-behaved,
respectfully waiting in silence for her to start
her lecture. She’d taken her power back from
everyone.

Yes, boys and girls, I had sex with my

student, ‘cause I got it like that. No, Jerzy,
you will never get to have all of this bent
over a desk for you ever again. You’ll never
get this image of me out of your mind and I
hope it hurts.

She began the day’s lecture, inwardly

delighted with how Jerzy couldn’t sit still in
his seat or take his eyes off of her for more
than two seconds. His fingers kept rubbing
at his mouth and his knee was bouncing. She
made a loud victory cry inside when Jerzy
stood from his seat ten minutes in and strode
out of the classroom.

226/275

Jerzy was livid. She looks good. Too

fuckin’ good. Her legs were out, her breasts
were out. What the hell is she doing? He
didn’t want other guys looking at her like she
was ripe for the picking. She’s mine. He knew
Rakell was trying to piss him off, but she was
adding fuel to the rumors, too. She deserved
respect, and he worried that her anger and
frustration with this whole situation was
spoiling her good judgment.

She doesn’t trust me. She probably

thinks I’m lying to her or cheating on her
like her ex did. Her insecurities and mistrust
of men were getting to her, blinding her from
seeing the truth. His words to her meant
nothing because he wasn’t there. He prom-
ised her on their first date that he would pro-
tect her, no matter what. This was the ‘no
matter what’ part; he was going against his
unrelenting yearning to be near her. She
wasn’t seeing that keeping his distance from
her was hurting him, too. He drove by her

227/275

house or followed her home because it was
something both of them needed. She’d
threatened him to stop, but he couldn’t stop.
He needed to see her. Whether she protested
his patrolling or not, he knew Rakell desired
the evidence that she was on his mind every
day, and that he’d never let go.

Teaching her class that morning was

exhilarating for Rakell, but afterwards the
low was crippling. For the first time, she seri-
ously contemplated quitting her job and nev-
er teaching again.

Rakell walked into the faculty office

building. Seeing Rakell’s new look, Alisa’s
eyes widened then quickly relaxed into their
standard haughty glare before turning back
at her computer.

She was tired of dealing with Alisa.

Kiss my ass, you jealous tattling skank…No

228/275

offense. Ugh! She was tired of being on the
defense, tired of the urge she had to be extra
polite to gain the favor of colleagues who she
never liked in the first place. Did she ever, in
the seven years she’d been at Simmons
County Community College, truly enjoy be-
ing there? Rakell remembered the first year
being rewarding. After that, her feelings fluc-
tuated in correlation with the state of her
marriage. Rakell separated her unhappiness
with her personal life from her experiences
as a professor and saw that she still loved
teaching. She just didn’t love teaching at this
school.

Besides, she’d look guilty if she sud-

denly quit. Instead, she would turn in a letter
to human resources letting them know she
wouldn’t be returning after the completion of
the semester. In her office, she typed up the
letter, printed it out and signed it. There was
a twinge of sadness in her heart, but no fear.
Her fear of change had diminished because

229/275

the challenge of the latest events had re-
vealed her strength. When she stopped by
Alisa’s desk on her way out, she was sur-
prised to find that her hatred of the girl had
also disappeared. The intensity of her stress
had fallen now that she knew a peaceful day
of voluntary departure was possible.

“Alisa, I need this sent to human re-

sources. I’m not sure to whom in the depart-
ment. I assume you know.”

Alisa scanned the entirety of the letter

and cleared her throat. “Yes. I know,” she
answered solemnly, still staring down at the
resignation letter. “I’ll fax it to Maurice right
away.”

Rakell nodded. “Thanks.”

On the way home, Rakell committed

to sending a letter of inquiry to Penn. Hope-
fully the university needed a literature pro-
fessor. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if

230/275

she didn’t get hired there. Rakell was struck
by a wonderful idea. Maybe I could teach lit-
erature or English in Amsterdam! That
would be amazing! Soon Rakell was think-
ing over her dream of traveling through
Europe. Money wasn’t an issue. She had a
good amount of savings and a credit card she
could use. Concerns about her age and rela-
tionship status had stopped her from consid-
ering the vacation seriously in the past, but a
trip out of the country next month would be
nice if she got fired before she could resign.
Being 34 years old, divorced and single
wasn’t going to slow her down. She’d kept up
with a 23-year-old, hadn’t she? A summer
getaway in Europe would put substantial dis-
tance between her and the decade of negative
history written in Pennsylvania. She’d feel
freer to be Rakell. And, who knows, she
might find romance abroad.

Rakell parked in her driveway and

casually flipped Jerzy off as he drove by in

231/275

his Camaro. She went inside, did some re-
search online about travel agencies in her
town, gave one agency a call and made an
appointment with a travel agent for the next
afternoon. Excited about her travel plans,
she was itching to get out of the house. She
called Darcelia to see if she might have din-
ner with her tonight.

“Hey chica! How are you? Enjoying

your cougardom?”

“The thing with the kid is over. His

balls haven’t dropped yet. Let’s go to dinner
tonight, just us girls.”

“Shit. How are you feeling, Kellie?”

“I’m feeling like I want some Chinese

food. Sound good?”

Darcelia was quiet. She could tell her

best friend needed her. “Yeah. That sounds

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good. I’ll ask Margaret to babysit for a few
hours.”

Rakell feigned a gasp of horror. “You

wouldn’t dare. Won’t your mother-in-law
throw the voodoo doll she has of you into the
pot the next time she’s frying chicken?”

Her friend sighed and laughed a little.

“I’ll do what I have to do. I haven’t seen you
in ages. I need some girl time. Let’s go to the
spa first for a foot massage and a pedi.”

Rakell remembered how Jerzy once

offered to pay for a spa day for her and Dar-
celia. She rolled her eyes. Every little thing
reminded her of Jerzy. It pissed her off. “I
want a facial, too. Something to get the
lingering crud out of my pores.”

“Alright. I’ll meet you at Escape in an

hour.”

233/275

Rakell snacked on grapes and potato

chips while she watched some television for a
half hour. Then she re-glossed her lips, ad-
justed her hair, put on her leopard print
shades and drove downtown to the spa.

“Rakell, your hair! Your outfit! You

look like you should be on a platter! Amaz-
ing!” Darcelia exclaimed when she saw her
naughty teacher outfit. They embraced each
other in front of the spa entrance.

“Thanks. You look fabulous as always,

Darcelia. I love the shoes.”

Darcelia posed her feet to show off her

suede electric blue wedges. She wore blue
denim jeans that were cuffed at the ankle, a
yellow button-down shirt and a Bohemian
flower patterned fabric necklace with match-
ing button earrings. The cherry on top was
her signature curly pixie haircut. Her brown
eyes were bright with anticipation. “What

234/275

did you do? What did he do? I missed
everything! Tell me, tell me!” Darcelia
dragged Rakell into the spa and interviewed
her as they received their pampering.

“¿Qué diablo? He’s stalking you?”

“Yes. I sure can pick ‘em.” She sipped

her sparkling mineral water and shifted her
weight to get more comfortable in the re-
clined heated massage chair.

Darcelia pouted. Her face was painted

green by a facial mask. “No hot young guys
are stalking me.”

Rakell laughed. “Stop.”

“Okay, but, honestly, it sounds like he

decided to end the relationship once all the
drama started because he couldn’t take the
heat, but he still cares about you. He’s wor-
ried about you. That’s why he keeps an eye
on you.”

235/275

“How does that benefit me? He

gets to feel like he’s doing something nice for
me. Meanwhile, I’m alone, I’m stressed out,
I’m hurting, I miss him…” Rakell took a mo-
ment to rub her moist eyes and control the
swell of her emotions. “I want him to go
away so I can forget about ever feeling as
though I needed him.”

“I understand. If it makes you feel

any better, I think he was a good influence
on you while it lasted. He burst the cramped
bubble you’ve been scared to come out of. I
can tell that your attitude toward yourself
and your future is brighter. You’ve got a
spark in you now, a confidence that you
didn’t have before.”

Rakell was quiet, ruminating on

the coincidence that Yuri Piotrowsky had
made an assessment of his son so similar to
Dee’s assessment of her. “Maybe. That spark

236/275

you see is probably just my undying fiery
hatred for egocentric little boys. Doesn’t the
saying go ‘The best way to get over a boy is to
find a man’?”

Darcelia laughed. “Something to

that effect. Ooo! You should go out tonight.
Don’t let your sexy go to waste.”

“I agree. I don’t want to go alone,

though. It’ll be much more fun if we go to-
gether. How ‘bout it?”

Darcelia frowned. “I can’t.” She then

burst into tears. It caught Rakell off guard.
“I’m such a lame-ass best friend,” Darcelia
blubbered. “I barely call you. I hardly hang
out with you.”

Rakell reached over and squeezed her

friend’s hand. “Dee, it’s okay. You don’t have
to go out on the town with me every night to
be my best friend. I know you’re busy. You’re

237/275

a mommy, you’re a wife, and you’re an
award-winning media writer.”

“Exactly! I’m always Mommy or

Honey or Ms. Hutchinson. I want to be Dee
for one minute without feeling guilty about
it!”

“Dee, I’ve come to accept a new rule

for making life’s decisions. If there’s
something you want that would make you
happy, and it doesn’t hurt anyone, you de-
serve to have it. Who are you hurting if you
take some time for yourself once or twice a
week?”

“My babies and Neil.”

“Do you honestly think that Ricky,

Rex and Neil are going to cry themselves to
sleep thinking ‘She doesn’t really love me.
She went to the spa for two hours! How
could she do this to our familyyyyy!’”

238/275

Darcelia giggled. “Neil, maybe.”

Rakell cracked up. “Neil is the only

man I know who cries every time he sees an
ASPCA commercial, but you know the man
isn’t going to be hurt if you go out for a drink
once every quarter. A happy wife means he
might get some legs wrapped around him
more often.”

She laughed. “True true.” She sighed

happily. “It’s settled then. Tonight, it’s on!”

The girls had dinner at their favorite

Chinese restaurant and then went home to
shower and change. Rakell slipped into the
red dress Jerzy bought her. It fit her perfectly
and it would be a sweet revenge to net a big-
ger fish by wearing it.

Rakell and Darcelia strode into the

Blue Flame, turning heads as they walked to
the bar. A live band was performing a rous-
ing Latin jazz song. The girls enjoyed a drink

239/275

and basked in the dim lighting and the ap-
preciative glances from interested men.
Rakell held Darcelia’s arm and pulled her out
to the dance floor. Shy about dancing, Dar-
celia took a few minutes to loosen up. Rakell
made sure to make her laugh by sometimes
imitating the moves of bad dancers nearby.
They enjoyed moving to the music, feeling
sexy and feminine in their stilettos, wearing
smoky eye shadow, lip gloss and hot dresses.
Rakell kept a smile on her face even when
sadness emerged. She’d forgotten about the
unique way the silky fabric of the red dress
skimmed her skin, bringing to mind the lov-
ing ways Jerzy used to touch her body.
Rakell did her best to concentrate on spend-
ing time with her best friend and scoping out
a new man to appreciate her company.

Before their perspiration levels be-

came unacceptable, the two women went to
the bar for another drink and sat down on a
comfortable, S-shaped blue suede sectional.

240/275

Rakell and Darcelia weren’t the only people
who’d enjoyed their dancing. A string of men
introduced themselves to the two women.
However, all of them were interested in Dar-
celia. Rakell couldn’t blame the dudes. Her
friend was a beautiful Latina, inside and out.
Rakell watched Darcelia let the gentlemen
down easy, letting them know she was mar-
ried. Rakell giggled at their disappointment
and at the way Darcelia’s posture became
straighter and straighter with each flattering
comment. Rakell was sure the gorgeous guy
heading their way would make Darcelia be-
come as poised as a ballerina.

He was a tall, broad-shouldered man

with caramel skin, dimples in each cheek,
and a fresh buzz cut. His black slacks and
dark gray V-neck hugged his muscular body
well. His male model looks were causing all
the ladies in the club to dab drool from their
chins with their napkins. He stood in front of
Darcelia and Rakell, looking from one

241/275

woman to the next, smiling, giving the full
effect of his dimples and his hazel eyes. He
stunned them with his British accent. “How
are you doing, ladies?”

The girls exchanged pleased glances.

“Very good, thank you,” Darcelia smiled, her
spine perfectly aligned. “Would you like to sit
with us?”

He looked at Rakell. “Actually, I was

hoping I could have a dance with your friend
here.” He smiled.

Surprised, Rakell smiled shyly. “Sure,

if you tell me your name.”

“Gerald.” He held out his hand. Rakell

placed hers in his. He kissed the top of her
hand as she stood. “And yours?”

“Rakell.”

242/275

“Happy to meet you, Rakell. May I say

that you look stunning in that red dress?”
His eyes trailed down her figure.

“You may. With that accent you could

tell me anything at all.”

He chuckled. “You Americans are the

ones with the accents,” he teased.

Rakell looked over her shoulder at

Darcelia and mouthed “Ay ay ay!” Darcelia
made a kissy face and laughed. Gerald
walked Rakell to the dance floor and imme-
diately pulled her close. Rakell’s whole body
blushed. They moved together to the alluring
Latin rhythm of the jazz music. He was a
smooth dancer. The beat inspired his mo-
tions and he was unafraid to caress her body.
He touched the small of her back, felt out her
hips and traced the length of her arms, all
while hypnotizing her with his smoldering
gaze. Rakell did her best to avoid looking at

243/275

his eyes. And his mouth. And his dimples.
After two songs, Rakell feigned being thirsty
to exit the dangerous situation on the dance
floor. Gerald went to the bar with her and
bought a drink for each of them, including
one for Darcelia. They returned to the couch
where Darcelia was still sitting and began to
converse. The women learned that he was 31
years old, born to a mother from Ghana and
a British father of Italian descent, was well-
educated, a personal trainer, a travel writer
and occasionally a model. He was in Philly
for a three-day vacation.

He was funny and charming. Rakell

welcomed the distraction from the drama of
the last few days. His laidback personality
and love of travel was refreshing. He seemed
like a fun guy to meet up with during her
Europe trip. Maybe he could be her romance
abroad.

244/275

“Kellie, I should head home now,”

Darcelia pouted. “I miss my babies and I
don’t want Neil to worry.”

“Okay, Dee. Did you have fun?”

“Yes, of course! Thanks to you.” Dar-

celia gave Rakell a hug. “Goodnight. You
reeled in a big one tonight,” she whispered.
“Have fun with this, ‘kay? Ciao.”

“Goodnight, Dee. Drive safe.”

“It was nice to meet you,” Gerald

smiled.

Darcelia blushed, nodded. “Bye.”

Rakell sat with Gerald for a while

longer, listening to his entertaining travel
stories, but she was very aware of the time
that passed as they talked. It was nearly 1
AM. The longer Gerald remained focused on
her, the more nervous she felt. Finally, she

245/275

had to wrap things up. “Gerald, I’ve enjoyed
dancing with you and talking with you, but I
think it’s time I called it a night.”

“I must admit I’m not ready for my

evening with you to end so abruptly. You are
right gorgeous.” He skimmed her bare
shoulder with his knuckles. He smiled.
“Couldn’t we go to your flat and let the night
continue to unfold?”

Rakell was mesmerized by his sexy

smile and gleaming eyes. “Um…” Rakell
needed to see what other men had to offer so
she could stop idolizing Jerzy and move on
with her life. However, she’d never had a one
night stand before. Would she regret it? His
good looks, strong physique and dance skills
suggested she wouldn’t.

Gerald’s smile waned. “Rakell…I fi-

nally ended a long, maddening relationship
back home before I took this holiday in the

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states. I’m all sixes and sevens right now, I’m
a mess. I’m looking for a gal like you to take
my mind off it, at least for tonight. Sex ther-
apy, you might say. You have my word you
won’t be disappointed.” His lips stretched in-
to a seductive smile.

Rakell nodded. “I think one of those

therapy sessions would be good for me, too.”

He grinned, then leaned closer and

kissed her on the cheek. “Let’s go.”

A few minutes later, the strapping

biracial Brit was following Rakell’s car in his
rental. Her palms were sweating as she
gripped the steering wheel. When they
parked in her driveway her heart was racing.
I can’t believe I’m doing this. He is hot as
hell. I better keep the lights off so he doesn’t
see too much. She saw Gerald get out of his
car. Rakell put on a confident smile and got
out of hers. She hung onto Gerald’s left arm

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and walked him up the driveway. The hairs
on her neck stood on end when her ears
caught the sound of a Camaro’s engine. She
looked over her shoulder and saw Jerzy’s car
come to a slow stop on the other side of the
street. Her breathing paused. For a few
seconds she was ashamed and worried that
Jerzy’s feelings would be hurt, but she imme-
diately corrected herself. Good. That’s what
he gets for being nosy and for being a lying
chickenshit. She resumed breathing, led Ger-
ald into the house and shut the door.

Jerzy stayed late at the restaurant.

He’d been having trouble sleeping and he
had no urge to go home to his empty, quiet
penthouse. The place was like a coffin when
Rakell wasn’t there to brighten it with her
smile and her big laugh. At around 1:30 in
the morning he left his office at Smak. He
decided to swing by Rakell’s house, because,

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as Rakell had put it, he was a stalker. Poss-
ibly getting a glimpse of her shadow against
the curtain as she walked across a room in
her home wasn’t even worth the pain of hav-
ing to eventually drive away, but he made the
trip anyway because it was better than noth-
ing. As he neared her house he saw a
stranger’s blue car in her driveway. He saw a
man step out of the car. Rakell stepped out of
hers, in the red dress. She looked beautiful.
Delectable. Jerzy felt a stab in his heart as he
watched her wrap her hands around the
man’s arm in a way that wasn’t familial. Is
that…? He saw Rakell look over her shoulder
at his car. He couldn’t see her eyes in the
dark, but her body language revealed a guilty
conscious. Still she went into the house with
the man.

As he sat in his car watching the lights

in her house turn on and shadows move
across the window shades, his body burned
with rage. His fists craved making contact

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with something hard; maybe with a wall or
with her ex-husband’s jawbone. How could
she throw him away like that? She moved on
from him that quickly?

And with your ex, of all people! I’m

the one who comforted you while you cried
over what that asshole did to you! I’m the
one that respects you and would do any-
thing for you! How could you wear that
dress for him? I gave that to you. I give and
I give and some other guy reaps the bene-
fits. I told you how much that hurt me, but
you’re doing it anyway. I’m so fucking tired
of selfish bitches like you.

Jerzy paused. It felt wrong to call her

that. Why? She’s exactly the same as the oth-
er girls I’ve been with. Jerzy closed his eyes.
Jaw clenched, he sighed. No she’s not. He
turned off the car. He wasn’t going to let her
go so easily.

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Gerald started kissing Rakell in the

living room. She tried to kiss him back and
get excited about the handsome guy that was
touching her, but her body was cold. The
urge to cry burned at her eyes and her chest.
She wanted Jerzy. Gerald took off his shirt,
murmuring sweet nothings in his sexy Brit-
ish accent. He sucked on her neck and
squeezed at her breast. She felt dirty and
used. If she hadn’t seen Jerzy outside, maybe
she would be enjoying herself. Rakell jumped
at the sound of loud knocking on her front
door. She knew who it was. She stared at her
front door, wanting the interruption to es-
cape Gerald but dreading a confrontation
with Jerzy. The front door shook with anoth-
er round of poundings.

Gerald stared down at the side of

Rakell’s

face.

“Were

you

expecting

someone?”

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“Uh, sort of. I should…” Her voice

trailed off as she went to the door. She
steeled herself and pulled the door open. The
shadow of Jerzy’s tall frame fell over her. His
hand was on the top of the doorway. The
sleeves of his white button-down were rolled
up and his gray slacks were wrinkled from a
long day at the office. His brooding green
eyes met hers for a second and then shot
daggers at the shirtless man standing behind
her in the living room. She narrowed her
eyes at Jerzy. “Yes?” she asked coldly.

He ripped his eyes away from Gerald

and gazed intensely down at Rakell. “What
are you doing, Rakell?” Paralyzed by his dis-
appointment, she said nothing. Jerzy’s glare
whipped back over to Gerald. Jerzy pushed
past her into the house. He rushed toward
Gerald. The Brit flexed his muscular chest,
ready for a fight. “You grimy motherfucker,”
Jerzy growled. “Didn’t you do enough

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damage to this woman in thirteen years?” he
spat.

“Jerzy, that’s not Marshall,” Rakell

called out.

He paused. His eyebrows furrowed.

He looked Gerald up and down. “Then who
the fuck are you?!”

“I’m Gerald. You?” he responded, his

voice dripping with annoyance.

Jerzy imitated the British pronunci-

ation of Gerald’s name. “Who’s Gerald,
Rakell?”

Rakell shut the front door and leaned

her back against it. “I met him at the club.”

He bellowed in disgust. “Are you

serious?”

Rakell looked away, down at the floor.

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Jerzy looked back at Gerald. “Hey,

Gerald? Keep your hands off my wife, man!
Get out of my house!”

“Your wife?”

“Jerzy!” Rakell admonished.

Gerald pulled his shirt back on. He

nodded at Jerzy. “My apologies, yeah? I had
no bloody idea.” He walked toward the door.
Rakell opened it for him. He brushed past
Rakell on the way out. “You could get a man
killed, lady,” were his harsh words. She
closed the front door behind him. Rakell
walked slowly back to the living where Jerzy,
still keyed up, was running his hand through
his dark hair. Rakell and Jerzy stood staring
at each other in silence for a moment. Rakell
was so happy to see his face and look into his
eyes, to have him standing in her house right
in front of her, so close, but she was also very
angry that he had the nerve to barge into her

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home and kick out her guest. “Who the hell
do you think you are?” she finally said.

“Why are you doing this me?” His

reddened green eyes were fierce with hurt
and anger.

Rakell swallowed. “You don’t own me,

Jerzy. We’re not married. There was no wed-
ding in Poland and no honeymoon in Paris,”
she needled. “You’re not allowed to get com-
fortable in my life as though you’re my man
if you can’t really stand up and be my man.
So leave! You’re so damn good at it!” Her
eyes brimmed with tears. “You’re not about
me anyway!”

“I’m all about you, Rakell! All I think

about is you! I can’t imagine being with any-
one else but you! I told you that in the letter,
but you never believe what I say if it’s any-
thing good! You think I could live with my-
self if you lost your career?! The reason I left

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the way I did was so that you could keep your
job. I heard the assistant dean talking to you
in your office, Rakell. That receptionist ad-
mitted to me that she alerted the assistant
dean about us. I don’t want you to be humili-
ated and have your name in newspapers or
on TV for sleeping with your student. I don’t
want what we have together to be ridiculed
by people who have no clue how much love is
between us. The last thing I wanted to do
was to leave you or hurt you, but leaving was
the first thing I had to do to make sure you
had a happy future, with or without me.”

Rakell hugged herself. Tears ran like

rivers down her face and over her trembling
mouth. Her eyes searched his. “What letter?”
she whispered.

His shoulders slumped. “You didn’t

get my letter? I left it in your office…I slipped
it under your door.”

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She shook her head. “I didn’t get it.”

Rakell gasped. “The cleaning lady must have
thrown it away. Dammit! I hate that lady! I
never got your letter, Jerzy. And I had no
idea you knew about the investigation. All
this time I thought you didn’t...” She closed
her eyes and cried. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been
calling you some very, very bad names.”

Jerzy chuckled and finally went to

her. He wrapped his arms around her and
clutched her to him. Rakell’s fingers gripped
at his back. Their bodies relaxed and became
warmed with contentment. To be in each
other’s arms was a precious reprieve. Experi-
encing each other’s touch again caused the
stirrings of need they’d been suppressing to
surge full force. Rakell trembled when she
felt Jerzy’s mouth press behind her earlobe.
His lips skimmed her cheek as he made his
way to her mouth. He gently kissed away the
salty tears from her lips until he could

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appreciate the natural sweetness of her
mouth to which he was addicted.

Rakell parted her mouth for him, will-

ing to give herself to him completely, trust-
ing him more than anyone she’d ever known.
Never before had her body and her heart
been afire with such penetrating amour. I
didn’t realize how empty my life was until I
met him.

Jerzy pulled his lips away and cupped

her face in his hands. “This isn’t your fault. I
should’ve left the letter at your house or
something, or gave you a call from another
phone, but I was so freaked out. I’m sorry.
I’m stupid sometimes.”

A small smile brightened Rakell’s

face. “Not more stupid than I am, Baby. I
want us to be together.” Her voice quaked
with emotion. “I missed you so bad.”

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Jerzy sighed, disappointed with him-

self for causing her any sadness. He caressed
her cheekbones and her jawline with his
thumbs, remembering how empty he’d felt
inside when he wasn’t able to touch her. He
swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m so
sorry you ever thought I didn’t love you.”

Her mouth opened in surprise. She

breathed his name. “Jerzy…”

Jerzy kissed her forehead.

“I love you, too,” she whispered.

“Let me show you how sorry I am. Let

me show you how much I love you.” Jerzy’s
hands dropped to her bottom. He rubbed his
large hands up and down her curves through
the silky material of her red dress. “Put your
arms around my neck.”

Rakell smiled and followed his

instructions.

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Jerzy hugged her waist and lifted her

off her feet. Rakell wrapped her legs around
him. Jerzy smiled. “Good.”

Rakell studied Jerzy’s face with curi-

osity when he started walking them to the
dining room. She was too eager for him to
make love to her to ask any questions.

His hands pushed the hem of her

dress up to her hips before he sat her on top
of the wooden dining table. “Lie back. I want
to make you feel good.”

With her ankles crossed behind his

thighs, she reclined onto the table top. She
arched her back and raised her hips for Jerzy
to pull off her black thong panties. He
handed the panties to her. She balled them
up in her hand and lay there, fidgeting in an-
ticipation. Her eyes fell to his black leather
belt, wanting to see him undo his pants next
so that she could be filled with him as soon

260/275

as possible. Rakell watched him and
whimpered as he kissed the side of her knee
and made his way down her inner thigh. His
kisses trailed lower and lower, sucking at her
skin, nearer and nearer to her wet petals. A
panicked gasp sounded from Rakell’s mouth
when she realized where Jerzy’s mouth was
headed. Her entire body trembled and
burned. Her cry of protest was cut off with
her own loud moan of pleasure once she felt
his lips press against her aching clit. He
opened his mouth and began to suck and
slather her clit with his hot slippery tongue.
Pleasure shot into her toes. “Fuck, yes!” She
had never experienced this intimate favor
before. The sensations were reducing her to a
howling writhing fiend.

Rakell tightened her legs around him

and grabbed onto a handful of his hair as his
tongue danced in circles all around her
thrilled nub. He moved down to her entrance
and thrust into her with his tongue. He

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lapped at her warm nectar. “Oh! Oh! Yesss!”
Every flourish of his tongue said “I love you.
I love you” to every cell of her body. “I love
you,” Rakell whimpered in return. His
tongue returned to her clit. She reached her
peak and screamed out in ecstasy.

Bliss brought tears to Rakell’s eyes.

She’d never felt a love so raw and deep be-
fore. Jerzy lifted his face and licked his lips.
He smiled and kissed her mouth. When he
broke the kiss Rakell cupped his cheek. His
low facial hair tickled her fingers. “No one’s
ever done that for me before.”

“Really? No one’s ever eaten at this

dining table before? But it’s such a nice
table.”

Rakell laughed. She gave his cheek a

few pats. “Way to ruin the moment.” She
yawned, and then smiled with hooded eyes.

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Jerzy chuckled. Rakell was worn out.

He picked her up from the table with one
arm around her back and one under her
thighs. Rakell rested her head against his
shoulder. Jerzy carried her to her unlit bed-
room. In the dark, he undressed her, taking
off her stiletto heels, kissing the top of her
foot as he went, opening the zipper on the
side of her dress and pulling it over her head,
and lastly removing her bra. He stopped
himself from kissing her breasts. Instead, he
stood and pulled down the covers on her
bed. He tucked Rakell in before removing his
shoes and getting in bed beside her. They
were facing each other. Something about her
completely bare dark skin pressed against
his fully clothed body made Jerzy’s heart
skip a beat. Jerzy stroked her hair, enjoying
the new style. “As soon as the semester ends,
I’m ending my enrollment. Then we can be
together.”

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“Why do we have to wait? Everyone

already believes we’re together, so why
should we put us on hold?”

“Because I don’t want this to be like

when you left your family back in Texas.”

Rakell’s eyes squinted in confusion.

“You moved on to better things after

you left home, but there will always be a dark
place in your heart because you still have an-
ger and still feel rejected. If you got fired and
then started a new life, the shame of re-
peatedly running away from a dark past
would linger. I want you to feel free and have
no regrets about leaving this time.”

“You’re right. You’re always thinking

of me,” she admired.

His green eyes softened even more.

“Always.”

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“My mind’s made up to leave the col-

lege no matter what. I already gave the
school my letter of resignation. I’m done at
the end of spring. I want to explore my op-
tions. I want to see more of the world, you
know?”

“Yeah. That’s great, Sweetheart. You

should travel and discover more things that
make you happy. If you ever need help with
that, money, anything at all, I’m here.”

Rakell kissed him. “Thank you.”

“Until the semester ends, we can’t vis-

it each other, no calls unless it’s from
someone else’s phone, no emails, nothing
that could be used against you. Okay?”

The thought of being apart from Jerzy

again made her anxious. “I need you,” she
whispered.

265/275

“No you don’t. You’re strong. Look at

you. You’re so confident now. The way you
dress, the way you walk with your head held
high. You didn’t need me for that. That was
in you all along.” He rubbed her back. “We
can do this. Three and a half more weeks,
Baby.” They kissed again. He sighed. “I
should go home now.”

Her fingers crushed the fabric of his

shirt. “Please stay a little longer.”

Captivated by her brown eyes, he was

unable to say no. “Okay. But I have to leave
before sunup. We need to be careful. I don’t
want anything to happen to you.”

Happily, Rakell snuggled against his

chest with her head under his chin. Jerzy
held her close. He listened to her breathing.
It slowed and she soon slumbered. He felt
his own eyes start to close. It was time to go.
He gently—and very reluctantly—untangled

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her arms and legs from around his frame,
kissed her forehead, and slipped out of the
house as the horizon began to yellow.

VIII

On the last day of school Rakell fin-

ished entering grades and cleaned out her of-
fice. All of her personal belongings fit into
one medium sized brown box. The vice
dean’s investigation found nothing. Rakell
was making a clean break. She talked to a
few good colleagues who wished her well and
gave her cards, homemade cookies, and
books for leisure and inspiration. She shed a
few tears as she said her goodbyes, but her
heart was light with love and optimism. As
Rakell walked down the hall from her office
for the last time, she was startled to see Alisa
with tears in her big blue eyes. Rakell

267/275

stopped at the reception desk holding her
box of belongings. “You okay, Alisa?”

Alisa began to bawl. “I’m so sorry I

did this to you,” she cried. Her shoulders
shook with sobs. Rakell was moved by Alisa’s
remorse. She sat the box on top of the desk
and walked around to where Alisa was sit-
ting. She bent and hugged the petite young
woman. “I forgive you. I needed the push
anyway,” Rakell sighed. She gave her a
squeeze. “Good luck.” Rakell stood.

“Thank you,” she blubbered. Alisa

yanked a tissue from the tissue box and blew
her nose. “I love your dress, by the way. It’s
ageless,” Alisa smiled and chuckled, intend-
ing the pun. She admired the classic gray
sleeveless dress with a thin black and gold
belt and the black round-toed patent leather
pumps that Rakell was wearing.

268/275

Rakell laughed. “Thank you.”

Rakell lifted the box. “Bye, Alisa.”

“Smooches.”

Rakell smiled. “Smooches.”

Jerzy was waiting outside for her. He

stood up from a bench by the walkway when
he saw her walking out of the faculty build-
ing. He went to her, his hands in the pockets
of his slim dark Hilfiger jeans. His brown
cashmere sweater clung to his muscular
build. He smiled. “Hey, Beautiful.” He kissed
her cheek and took the box from her hands.
With his hand on her hip, they walked to his
black Camaro. He dropped the box into the
trunk. Rakell squealed with delight when he
suddenly grabbed her up and swung her
around in the parking lot, kissing her all over
her face. It was the first time they’d engaged
in such a display of affection out in public, in
the light of day, and it felt good. He took her

269/275

out to a Cuban place for lunch. He was free
to reach over and touch her face and caress
her hand on the table as they ate in the
crowded restaurant. After lunch, he took her
to the penthouse. They naturally found their
way to his bedroom. Jerzy was very pleased
to find that Rakell was set on returning a
special favor.

“Ohhh, Rakell.” Jerzy smoothed her

hair back and gripped gently at a handful as
the pleasure became more intense. “Do
you…do you want to swallow?”

She increased the suction of her lips

on his solid erection.

“Mhmm,” she

answered.

The vibration of her voice teased his

shaft. A deep moan escaped his mouth.
“Rakell,” he breathed. “That’s so hot. You’re
amazing.” He drew in a breath as she took
more of him into her mouth. “But I can’t let

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you do it. You’re my lady, not a tissue.”
Rakell swirled her tongue around his thick
rod before touching the sensitive slit on the
head of his member with the end of her
tongue. He tensed and closed his eyes at the
pleasurable assault. “Oh shit.” He was losing
control. “Rakell…Let me finish inside of you,
baby,” he panted. “No place else I’d rather
be.” Rakell released him and crawled on top
of him, urgently wanting him inside. Jerzy
rolled her onto her back and found his place
inside her. Because of Jerzy, Rakell now
knew what making love and being loved felt
like with a real man. He was very attentive
and loving, but also strong and aggressive
when she needed it, both inside and outside
the bedroom. Gradually, Jerzy’s deep pound-
ing rhythm took them both home.

Rakell rested her head on his chest

while they both lay in bed, languid in the af-
terglow. She gave his skin a playful nibble.
Jerzy chuckled. Rakell pressed her cheek

271/275

against his chest again and he squeezed her
affectionately. Rakell sighed. “Say I was leav-
ing in…seven days, on a vacation through
Europe, and I invited you along. Could you
possibly go with me?” She lifted her head to
see his eyes.

His green eyes brightened. “Yeah!

That would be awesome. I’d make sure you
had lots of fun. I have family all over. In Po-
land, the Netherlands, Russia, even some in
Italy.”

Rakell grinned. She kissed his smooth

chest, over his heart. “Perfect.”

******

More books by Renee Lewin A.K.A. Ren-

ee LaRuse:

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Arizona Allspice

To twenty-year-old Elaine Roberts, the

red-headed soccer jock Joey Kinsley is a hot-
tempered womanizer with a maddening abil-
ity to catch her eye. In Joey’s eyes, Elaine is
an intelligent, unattainable, military boot
donning beauty whose skin color he affec-
tionately compares to the aromatic allspice
powder. Joey fears for her safety when,
without hesitation, Elaine becomes caregiver
to her mentally unstable father after her
mother passes away. Joey is the only one
who knows the secret Elaine’s mother took to
the grave. A scuffle between Joey and
Elaine’s twin brother, Manny, escalates into
a catastrophe that separates the Roberts
family. As Elaine fights to reunite her family,
she learns the history and depth of Joey’s ad-
miration and must face that the lives of her
brother and father, as well as her own, will
have to change in order for love to grow.

273/275

Let’s Be Mature About This

Nineteen-year-old Sydney Lenton meets

handsome Gavin Caselle after a minor shop-
ping cart accident at the grocery store where
Sydney works.The two are immediately at-
tracted to each other, but their age difference
and Sydney's faulty gaydar almost ends the
romance before it can get started. Once the
two begin dating they quickly realize they
can't imagine a future without one another.
Sydney's humor and sincerity is just what
wary-hearted Gavin needs. However, both
will have to make it through a shattering
oversight to reach their happily ever after.
Hilarious, sweet, startling and emotional,
Let's Be Mature About This is a satisfying
read.

274/275

@Created by

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