Table of Contents

Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Epilogue
Loose Id Titles by Cassandra Gold
Cassandra Gold

Cassandra Gold

FOOL FOR LOVE

Cassandra Gold

www.loose-id.com

Fool for Love
Copyright © August 2013 by Cassandra Gold
All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original
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eISBN 9781623004446
Editor: Tamzin Mitchell
Cover Artist: Valerie Tibbs

Cover Artist: Valerie Tibbs
Published in the United States of America

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Dedication

For everyone who’s ever taken a risk for love.

Chapter One

“There is no cure for the common birthday.”

—John Glenn

The sounds of loud laughter and pounding bass greeted

Vincent Norton as he reached the second floor of his apartment
building. His neighbors across the hall, college kids, must be
having a party. The young men had moved in recently. So far
they hadn’t been bad to live near. They kept the noise level to a
minimum, for the most part, and they didn’t bother him, which
was pretty much all he asked for.

He’d nearly reached his apartment when he saw a young

man sitting on the floor near his neighbors’ door, his head resting
against the wall and his eyes closed. Having not seen much of the
four young men who lived in number 203, Vince wasn’t sure, but
he thought it was one of them.

“Are you all right?”

“Are you all right?”

The brunet’s eyelids lifted, revealing a pair of liquid brown

eyes. “I’m fine. I needed a little break from the party.”

To his surprise, Vince found himself stopping and smiling at

the young man. “What’s the occasion?”

“It’s my birthday.”

Oh, to be young enough to look forward to birthdays.

His smile widened. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks. I think my roommates just wanted an excuse to

have a party, though.” The boy shrugged, his expression rueful.

At that moment, the door opened and another young man

poked his head out. This one, a lanky redhead, was definitely
one of the neighbors. His eyes narrowed when he saw his
roommate on the floor. “Rob. What are you doing, dude? Get in
here. You’re missing your own party!”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” When the door closed again, the

brunet—Rob—rolled his eyes and stood. “It’s so crazy in there,
I thought maybe they wouldn’t notice I was gone.”

Looking at the way Rob’s T-shirt clung to his tall, well-built

frame and slimly muscled arms, Vince found it hard to believe
that anyone could not notice him. “How many candles on your
cake?”

“Twenty-one. Woo.” By the expression on Rob’s face, he

wasn’t all that enthusiastic about the party.

Great. I was checking out a kid less than half my age.

His own students were the age of this young man. Vince covered

His own students were the age of this young man. Vince covered
his discomfort with another smile and a shooing gesture. “You
only turn twenty-one once. Go enjoy your party.”

“I guess I’d better, or Dustin’ll be out here looking for me

again.” He sighed. Then he stuck out his hand. “I’m Rob
Bridges.”

Vince accepted the handshake. “Hello, Rob. I’m Vince

Norton.”

“You’re a professor over at Washington University, aren’t

you?”

Surprised, Vince nodded. His occupation wasn’t a secret,

but he didn’t go around announcing it to everyone in the building
either.

Rob gave him a wry grin. “I saw the faculty parking permit

on your car a few weeks ago.”

“And you and your roommates are at Saint Louis

University.”

“Yeah, we’re all seniors this year.”

For a moment, Vince thought back to his own senior year

in college, so many years ago. His senior year had been the year
he’d finally gotten up the courage to come out. Although his
parents had never accepted his sexual orientation, to the point
that he and his father still didn’t speak, he’d never regretted the
decision. After all, he’d met Dean that same year.

Thinking of Dean brought up a lot of memories, most of

them more sweet than bitter after three years. He smiled, shaking

them more sweet than bitter after three years. He smiled, shaking
his head at his own sentimentality. His neighbor probably thought
he was odd. Turning the smile on Rob, he said, “Good luck with
the rest of your senior year. And with the party.”

“Thanks. It was nice talking to you.”

“I’ve enjoyed talking to you as well.”

With a quick grin, the younger man turned and went back

into his apartment. Vince tried, and failed, to keep from glancing
down at Rob’s ass. Feeling like a dirty old man, he unlocked his
door and went into his empty apartment.

Chapter Two

“If youth only knew: If age only could.”

—Henri Estienne

“You need some help with that?”

Vince turned his head to see his one of his neighbors

jogging up behind him. He wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or
pleased at the young man’s offer of assistance. He wasn’t so old
as to need help carrying a single box of books. At least he didn’t
think so. His forty-five years probably seemed ancient to a
twenty-one-year-old kid. “No, this isn’t heavy. Rob, right?”

Rob grinned, looking pleased he’d remembered. “Let me

get the door for you.”

With as much of a shrug as he could manage with his arms

With as much of a shrug as he could manage with his arms

full, Vince walked through the outer door Rob held open for him.
Juggling the books to open the door would have been irritating.
He appreciated the thought even if he didn’t really need help.
“Are you trying to tell me I’m old?”

The younger man’s brown eyes widened with horror. “No,

not at all, Dr. Norton. I’m sorry. I was just—”

“I was joking, Rob. And you’re not one of my students.

You can call me Vince.”

“Okay. Vince.”

They walked through the entryway and up the stairs

together. When they reached the second floor, Rob nodded
toward the box. “Want me to hold that so you can get your
door?”

“Thank you.” Vince handed it over and fished his keys out

of the pocket of his slacks.

Once his apartment door was open, his neighbor handed

him his books, the muscles in his arms flexing. “You must be
pretty strong. That was heavier than I expected.”

Not sure how to reply, he smiled. Rob gave him a slight

smile in return and headed across the hall.

Vince watched him walk away for a moment before

pushing his door open and entering his own apartment. He
carried the books over to the kitchen table and set them down,
thinking about what Rob had said. Had there been a hint of
admiration in the younger man’s tone?

“Wishful thinking, old man,” he scoffed aloud. An attractive

young man like his neighbor would have no interest in a man
Vince’s age, even if he were gay, and Vince had no reason to
believe he was.

The boy had to be a heartbreaker, though, no matter which

sex he favored. With those big brown eyes and his toned body
—which Vince should not be checking out, he reminded himself
—Rob could probably wrap just about anybody around his little
finger.

But not me.

After all, he’d had his happily ever after. The twenty years

he’d had with Dean might not have been as long as he’d wanted,
but they’d been wonderful. In the three years since the accident,
Vince had never even been tempted to date or look for a new
relationship. Teaching and his friends kept him busy. He was
content with his life as it was.

Anytime a friend suggested he move on and find someone

new, he only laughed. Love was for the young, like he and Dean
had been once. Like his neighbors were. Men his age were
better off being satisfied with what they had.

* * * *

Running late for the night class he taught on Thursdays,

Vince hurried out of his apartment. He locked the door and
rushed toward the stairs, right into someone coming around the
corner. The man reeled back. Vince reached out and gripped his

corner. The man reeled back. Vince reached out and gripped his
arms, steadying him. It was the young man from across the hall.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Rob beat him to the

punch. “Are you okay, Doc—I mean, Vince?”

The concerned look on Rob’s face made him smile. “I’m

fine. Maybe this will teach me to watch where I’m going.”

The concern melted into a grin. “Nah. It’s more exciting not

to. You never know what’ll happen.”

He couldn’t help laughing at that. “I suppose not.” He

realized he still held Rob’s upper arms and dropped his hands. “I
think I’ve lived dangerously enough for one evening.”

Rob laughed with him. “Watch out on the stairs, then. The

guys are right behind me.”

At the first floor, he understood the warning. Rob’s three

roommates came charging up the stairs, but he was able to avoid
them.

On his way to the university, however, Vince’s mind

refused to consider possible topics for next week’s class
discussion. Instead he found himself thinking about a sweet smile
and a pair of warm brown eyes. He frowned at the turn of his
thoughts. He’d only spoken to Rob a few times, and for only a
few minutes, so why this strange, unwelcome attraction?

The man was good-looking. Anyone with eyes could see

that. He obviously worked out or played a sport of some kind.
And he had a boy-next-door face, handsome without being too
pretty. The thing Vince found most attractive, though, was Rob’s

pretty. The thing Vince found most attractive, though, was Rob’s
personality—or what he’d seen of it so far. Rob always seemed
to be laughing or smiling, and he was polite and helpful to a fault.
Something about his sunny happiness made Vince want to smile.

He groaned. How ridiculous would a crush on a neighbor

less than half his age be? Was he having some sort of midlife
crisis?

By the time he pulled into his usual parking spot in the

faculty lot a few minutes later, Vince was thoroughly disgusted
with himself. He was determined not be one of those men who
bought a sports car and found a pretty young thing in an effort to
reclaim his youth. He had a perfectly good life already. If he ever
decided to date again, he would find someone near his own age,
with similar interests and goals.

Chapter Three

“First weigh the considerations, then take the risks.”

— Helmuth von Moltke

Although he knew he should be focusing on the chapters he

was supposed to be reading for his Developmental Biology
class, Rob couldn’t concentrate. Instead of taking notes, he
doodled aimlessly in the margins of his notebook. Lately, any
time his mind wandered, there was only one thing it wandered to:
Vince Norton. Ever since he’d first noticed the man, the night of
his birthday party, Rob had been developing a big-time crush.
He felt like he was in high school again, the way he always

He felt like he was in high school again, the way he always
hoped he’d run into Vince in the hall.

His feelings weren’t much of a surprise. Vince was

seriously hot—tall, dark hair silvering at the temples, and those
pale blue-gray eyes. Yum. Sure, Vince was older than the guys
he usually dated, but he liked older guys. The times he’d dated
guys his own age, their immaturity had annoyed him. His last
boyfriend had wanted to have an open relationship so he could
screw around as much as he wanted and still have Rob waiting in
the wings. Yeah, right. Before that, he’d had a friends-with-
benefits kind of relationship with Mike, a fellow exercise science
major. Mike was fun and cute, but the guy couldn’t decide
whether he was gay or straight. He’d call wanting to get
together, and a few days later he’d freak out, claiming he wasn’t
gay and really needed to be with a woman. Rob had moved on
after only a few weeks, tired of being jerked around. He knew
what he wanted. Too bad none of the guys he’d dated knew
what they wanted.

The screech of squealing tires from the television jerked him

out of his thoughts. He glanced over at Dustin, who sat on the
couch playing an auto-racing video game. “What do you think
about our neighbor?”

His roommate kept playing the game. “Which one? We

have a lot of neighbors.”

Smart-ass. He scowled, pretty sure Dustin knew which

one he meant. “Vince, across the hall.”

One of Dustin’s eyebrows, a reddish-brown darker than

his bright hair, inched up a bit. “Vince, huh? You mean Dr.
Norton? Older guy?”

“He’s not old. Anyway, what do you think of him?” Maybe

talking to Dustin about this hadn’t been such a good idea after
all. Who else could he talk to, though? Cody and Joe were good
friends and roommates, but he didn’t feel comfortable discussing
some things with them. Dustin could be a pain in the ass,
especially when he pulled his dumb-jock, party-boy routine, but
he was a good listener. Despite being Rob’s opposite in pretty
much every way, Dustin was his best friend.

The sounds of shooting and squealing tires stopped. Dustin

put the game controller aside and turned toward him, eyebrow
still raised. “Why do you want to know what I think of him?”

Rob hesitated a little too long, not sure how to answer.

Dustin’s other eyebrow shot up. “Dude.” The single word

held a wealth of meaning.

“I don’t know, I was just curious…” Dustin’s skeptical

expression told him the other man didn’t believe a word he said.
He sighed. “Okay, okay. I think he’s kind of hot.”

Rather than changing the subject or being grossed out, his

friend had a thoughtful expression. “I can see that. He’s got a
silver-fox thing going on, sort of, I don’t know—”

“Distinguished?” Rob grinned, pleased he wasn’t the only

one who thought so.

Dustin nodded. “Yeah. Distinguished. But he is a little old,

don’t you think?”

He bristled. “He’s not old. He’s probably in his forties.”

“Forty is like twice your age. He’s old compared to you.”

“He probably thinks I’m some immature kid anyway.” He

slumped, his indignation fading. Why would a hot guy with a
doctorate and a successful career have any interest in a college
kid?

Dustin laughed. “Don’t be such a drama queen, dude. If

you like him, make him notice you. If he’s not interested, he’s
not interested. You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“That’s true.”

“And Rob?”

He looked up to find his best friend looking surprisingly

serious. “You know Mrs. Finley, from downstairs?” At his nod,
Dustin continued. “I was helping her move some stuff a while
back, and you know how she likes to talk about people. She
told me Dr. Norton moved here after his lover died, a few years
ago. She said they’d been together like twenty years or
something. Just so you know.”

“Wow. That really sucks.”

“Yeah.”

After a couple of minutes, Dustin picked up his controller

and resumed his game. Rob sat stunned. How terrible, to lose
someone after so long when you should have another twenty

someone after so long when you should have another twenty
years or more together. How would a person get through
something like that? He couldn’t imagine. The longest
relationship he’d been in had lasted a grand total of six months.

I guess I am an immature kid. I haven’t experienced

half the things Vince has been through.

The thought solidified his resolve. Immature kid or not, at

least Rob knew what he wanted. He wanted a stable relationship
with a person who cared about him and supported him, the type
of man he could respect. Maybe he hadn’t done that much in his
life—yet. Maybe Vince was out of his league. So what? That
didn’t mean he couldn’t try. He’d take Dustin’s advice to make
Vince notice him and see what happened. If his sexy neighbor
blew him off, he’d get over it sooner or later. He had nothing to
lose and everything to gain.

Chapter Four

“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner

peace.”

—Robert J. Sawyer

Pulling his car into the apartment complex at the end of a

long week, Vince heaved a sigh of relief. For some reason, this
week had been tiring. Every time he’d turned around, someone
wanted something from him. Coworkers had asked him for
favors. Students had needed extra help. His stack of papers and

favors. Students had needed extra help. His stack of papers and
exams to grade had grown exponentially. His briefcase felt like it
weighed a ton when he hefted it and strode toward the outer
door. All he wanted to do was grab a beer or a glass of wine
and relax for the rest of the evening.

In the vestibule, he paused to check his mail. The envelopes

he pulled out appeared to be bills or junk mail.

“Hey, Vince. How’s it going?”

He turned his head enough to see Rob coming in, carrying a

duffle bag. His hair was damp and stuck up in random spikes, as
if it had been wet and he’d toweled it dry. Somehow the effect
was attractive rather than sloppy.

“Hello, Rob.” Although he’d been planning to go straight up

to his apartment, Vince found himself waiting as Rob opened his
own mailbox and pulled out a big stack of mail. A bright pink
envelope slipped off and fell to the floor. Vince leaned down and
picked it up, wincing at the heavy scent of perfume coming from
the paper.

Snickering, Rob took the envelope. “Thanks. This one’s

from Joe’s girlfriend. She goes to Truman State, and she writes
Joe at least once a week. She also e-mails and calls. You should
see his cell phone bill.”

Vince attempted to be diplomatic. “She seems to like

perfume.”

The deadpan look he got in response made him laugh.

“She wears almost as much as she puts on the envelopes.

“She wears almost as much as she puts on the envelopes.

She’s a nice girl, though.” Rob shrugged, a “what can you do?”
gesture.

By unspoken agreement, they walked toward the stairs

together. Vince noticed the white Billiken logo with “SLU
Athletics” under it printed on the side of Rob’s bag. “Are you on
one of the teams at SLU?”

The younger man flashed him a quick, pleased smile.

“Yeah, swimming and diving. I do three-meter springboard and
some short distance and relay.”

That explained the wet hair. And his build, lean but broad-

shouldered, with strong arms. To distract himself from imagining
Rob in those little Speedo swim trunks, he scrambled for
something to say. “I watched a lot of the swimming and diving
during the Olympics.”

Rob’s face lit up. “The Olympic athletes always amaze me.

I really like watching the ten-meter platform diving. Those guys
can do things that don’t even seem possible.”

“It is pretty amazing. I get dizzy watching all those twists

and turns they do in the air.”

“Some of the moves aren’t as hard as they look. Some of

them, though…I couldn’t do them to save my life.”

While they talked, they had reached the second floor.

Reluctance to leave took Vince by surprise. Before he’d run into
Rob, all he’d wanted to do was relax at home. Annoyed at
himself, he dug his keys out of his pocket. “Here we are. Have a
good weekend, Rob.”

good weekend, Rob.”

He turned abruptly and let himself into his apartment, but

not before he caught sight of Rob’s face. Rob had looked almost
hurt. Closing the door behind him, he considered the younger
man’s expression. Guilt crept in. He had been rather rude, but
then again, maybe he’d read too much into what he thought he’d
seen. In all likelihood, the other man hadn’t cared a bit about his
hasty exit.

* * * *

On the way back to his apartment after spending much of

the morning in the laundry room, Vince spotted one of Rob’s
roommates in the hall. He smiled and nodded at the tall redhead,
trying to remember his name. Was it Derek? No, Dustin, that
was it.

Dustin nodded back. “Hey, Dr. Norton. Did you see Rob

down there anywhere?”

“No.”

Before either of them could say anything else, Rob

appeared at the top of the stairs. “You rang?”

Dustin rolled his eyes. “That joke is so old, dude. Anyway,

I ran into Mike on the way home. He told me to tell you
something.”

Rob’s face went from happy to not in about three seconds.

“What did he say?”

Glancing pointedly at Vince, Dustin asked, “You want to

Glancing pointedly at Vince, Dustin asked, “You want to

talk about this out here?”

Rob’s gaze darted from Dustin to Vince and back again.

Whatever Mike had wanted was clearly a private matter. Vince
gave them both a nod. “I’ll see you two gentlemen later.”

Although he went into his apartment as fast as he could, he

still heard Rob say, “I told Mike we had nothing to say to each
other. What did that jerk want?”

Vince couldn’t help his curiosity, but he was no

eavesdropper. He closed the door behind him before he could
hear any more. Then he sat at the kitchen table and graded the
rest of his students’ papers. He told himself he wouldn’t think
about Rob at all. He was mostly successful.

Chapter Five

“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great

enterprises.”

—Demosthenes

November’s nearly over and Vince still doesn’t know

I’m alive. They had talked in the hall several times, but Rob
didn’t really consider that progress. From his sprawled-out
vantage point on the couch, he peered down at his roommate.
“Your plan isn’t working very well.”

Dustin looked up from the papers he had scattered around

him on the floor. “What plan?”

him on the floor. “What plan?”

“You told me to make Vince notice me. I’ve been trying,

but he hasn’t.” Of course, if he wanted to be honest, he’d admit
he hadn’t tried as hard as he could have. A heavy course load
and four swim meets in one week hadn’t helped. Half the time
he’d been too tired to seek Vince out.

One of their other roommates, Cody, chose that moment to

walk in. “Who’s Vince?”

Dustin opened his mouth before Rob could tell him to shut

up. “Vince is our neighbor. You know, Dr. Norton? Rob likes
him.”

Cody stared at Rob. “Ew, man, he’s old! He could be your

dad. That’s really messed up.”

If looks could kill, Cody would have died on the spot.

“Shut up. He’s a great guy. I don’t care about his age.”

Holding out his hands in a placating gesture, Cody

muttered, “Jeez, sorry. I just didn’t know you had a grandpa
fetish.”

“This was a really good talk, Cody. Thanks so much.”

Angry and strangely hurt, Rob clambered up from the couch.
“Don’t expect any sympathy from me the next time you get
dumped.”

He stalked to the door, snatching his car keys off the

counter on the way. Behind him, he heard Dustin say, “Way to
be a dick, Cody.”

That almost made him smile.

That almost made him smile.

* * * *

His anger propelled him down the steps and out the door.

When he got outside, he was nearly running. The cool, crisp air
felt good on his flushed face.

Unfortunately, he ran right into Vince, knocking something

out of his hand. The object hit the ground with a crunch and a
sploosh.

Vince raised an eyebrow. “Living dangerously again?”

The crushed coffee cup lying at Vince’s feet seemed to

mock him. “God, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m fine. I don’t think my coffee is going to make it,

though.” Vince heaved a pseudo-mournful sigh.

Here was his chance, handed to him on a silver platter. Rob

made a show of looking down at the crumpled cup. “I think your
diagnosis is correct, Doctor.”

Laughing, Vince picked up the cup and tossed it into a

nearby trash bin. “Maybe that was a sign I should drink less
caffeine.”

To hide his nerves, Rob shoved his shaking hands into his

pockets. He couldn’t let this chance get away. “Or maybe your
clumsy neighbor owes you another cup of coffee.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I know, but I want to. Come on. What’s your favorite

coffee place?” He flashed his best grin. Please come with me.

coffee place?” He flashed his best grin. Please come with me.

For a long moment, Vince was quiet. Just as Rob was

about to give up hope, he finally nodded. “I like the little shop
right around the corner. They have great scones.”

Yes! By sheer will, Rob managed not to pump his fist in the

air or do a victory dance. He kept smiling and swept his arm out
in an after-you gesture. “Lead on. Do you want to drive or
walk?”

“Let’s walk.”

Although his inner five-year-old wanted to skip, Rob

walked beside Vince, maintaining the illusion of calm unconcern.
“How are your classes going?”

The way Vince instantly relaxed told him he’d chosen the

perfect topic. “They’re all going very well. For a while I wasn’t
sure about several of my British Lit students, but they’ve settled
in.” After a pause, he asked, “How is your season going? I heard
you had a meet at Wash U., but I had a meeting that afternoon.”

“It was great. I took first in diving, and my hundred-meter

relay team won also. I got third in the hundred free.”

Vince looked impressed. “Wow. Congratulations.”

He kicked at the crisp, dead leaves littering the edge of the

sidewalk. “Thanks. I’ve been swimming a long time.”

“And what do you do when you’re not swimming?”

The genuine interest in Vince’s voice made him want to

skip all over again, though he didn’t like talking about himself

very much. He ducked his head, suddenly shy. “Not much. I’m
on an athletic scholarship, so I spend a lot of time practicing.
And I go to class. I’m an exercise science major.”

“You can do quite a few different things with that degree.

What do you plan to do with it?”

Most people thought exercise science was a glorified phys

ed program for dumb jocks. Vince’s nonjudgmental question
surprised and pleased him. “I’m in the physical therapy program,
so after I graduate this spring, I’ll go straight into the doctorate
program. Afterward I’ll get a job at a hospital or clinic. I’m not
sure if I want to specialize in a specific kind of rehab or not. I’ve
got time to decide.”

“Yes, you do.”

Just then they arrived at the coffee shop. Vince reached the

door first and held it open for him.

“Why, thank you, sir.” He grinned and stepped into the

warm room. The rich scents of coffee, chocolate, and baked
goods washed over him, reminding him a little of home.

Vince rolled his eyes, but he laughed too. They walked

over to the counter together. Vince ordered a regular coffee, and
Rob ordered hot tea—decaf—and blueberry scones.

Vince tilted his head toward Rob’s cup. “Tea? Do you not

like coffee?”

Although he always felt silly explaining to people his own

age, he somehow knew Vince wouldn’t think he was weird. “I
don’t drink caffeine. Or alcohol. I decided when I started

don’t drink caffeine. Or alcohol. I decided when I started
swimming to stop drinking caffeine, and later I figured why not
stay away from alcohol too.”

They took their drinks and the scones and found a table by

the window, bathed in weak sunshine. After sitting across from
Rob, Vince looked skeptically at him. “Not even on your
birthday?”

He laughed. “Okay, you caught me. I had one drink. Dustin

told me everyone has to have a drink on their twenty-first
birthday.”

The older man gave him a mock-serious stare. “Well, of

course. It’s a law.”

They laughed together. Rob basked in the glow of their

easy companionship. Now he knew Vince was funny as well as
smart and sexy. Best of all, Vince seemed to like him, at least as
a friend. He had something to build on.

Their time together flew by. Vince told Rob more about the

classes he taught, and asked about Rob’s. They talked about
recent movies they’d seen. They even debated the merits of
movie remakes and cover songs, with Vince arguing for them as
a form of artistic expression and Rob arguing they were
derivative.

Neither of them noticed the time passing until the sky

outside dimmed. Vince glanced at his watch. “It’s later than I
thought. We’d better get back.”

Disappointment and elation warred in Rob’s heart. He was

Disappointment and elation warred in Rob’s heart. He was

sad to leave, but he’d made Vince lose track of time. That had
to be a good sign. To hide his conflicted emotions, he smiled.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve got a hot date with my Developmental
Bio book.”

“I certainly wouldn’t want you to miss that.” Vince stood

and gathered up most of their trash. Rob picked up the rest.

Then they headed out into the chilly twilight. They didn’t

talk much on the way home, but the silence was okay. Rob felt
comfortable and content.

At the second floor, they said good night. Vince

disappeared into his apartment. Rob watched him go, then
opened his door. He winced at the blast of sound that greeted
him. Ignoring his three roommates, who were noisily playing a
music video game, Rob slipped back to the room he shared with
Dustin.

He flopped down on the bed to think. Cody was wrong

about Vince being too old for him. He was sure of it. They’d had
a nice time together today. Vince didn’t treat him like a kid. In
fact, the older man listened to him and seemed to respect his
opinions. He knew they would be great together. Now he just
had to figure out how to show Vince.

Chapter Six

“I can resist anything but temptation.”

“I can resist anything but temptation.”

—Oscar Wilde

Bill. Bill. Junk mail. Bill. With a snort of disgust, Vince

stuffed the envelopes into his briefcase. Some days he didn’t
know why he bothered to check his mail at all.

“Hey, Vince. How was your Thanksgiving?” Rob rushed

into the vestibule, grinning, pink-cheeked from the cold
December air.

Boring. Lonely. “Fine. How was yours?” Despite his dull,

solitary weekend and a tortuously long Monday, Vince found he
had no trouble finding a smile for Rob. He hadn’t seen much of
his young neighbor since their excursion to the coffee shop a
week earlier. Rob had gone home for Thanksgiving a few days
later and returned yesterday evening. Not that Vince had been
paying attention. He hated to admit it, but he’d actually missed
the man.

“Good. I ate like a pig, though. My mom always goes all

out.” The young man patted his flat belly. “I’m going to have to
work out more.”

Somehow Vince doubted Rob would have any trouble

working off his Thanksgiving feast. He laughed. “Wait until you
get to be my age. Then you’ll see how hard it can be to stay in
shape.”

Rob stopped to look him up and down. “Looks like you do

a pretty good job of it.”

Shocked, Vince tried not to gape like an idiot. Was Rob

Shocked, Vince tried not to gape like an idiot. Was Rob

flirting with him? No, he can’t be. He’s just being nice. And
I’m sure athletes notice things like that, especially pre-
physical therapy majors who are athletes. Desperate to
change the subject, he brought up the one thing he knew was
guaranteed to distract Rob. “You never told me about your last
meet. How’d it go?”

Rob launched into an excited recitation of how the Billikens

had done. Vince heaved an inner sigh of relief. There was no
way Rob had been flirting with him. The holiday season must be
getting him down even more than usual this year.

* * * *

On Friday morning, Vince admitted his lonely feelings to a

friend and colleague, Dr. Edward Craig. By the end of Saturday
evening, he had cause to regret the admission.

Right after he told Ed about his boring Thanksgiving, Ed

decided Vince needed a date. Without quite knowing how it had
happened, Vince ended up agreeing to go out with Ed’s cousin
George, a lawyer. He didn’t want to go on a date, but Ed was
so insistent he couldn’t say no.

At seven o’clock, he met George at a nice restaurant on the

Hill. Italian food was one of his favorites. Apparently it wasn’t
one of George’s favorites, however, because the man
complained about the spices giving him heartburn before they
even ordered.

Vince knew the evening was going to be a failure before

Vince knew the evening was going to be a failure before

they were halfway through dinner. George seemed nice enough,
and he was in his early fifties, according to Ed, which put him in
Vince’s age range. That alone should have given them some
things in common. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to see eye to
eye on anything. George also didn’t get his sense of humor,
which made conversation awkward.

The death knell for their date was one simple fact: he didn’t

find George attractive. The man had clearly taken care of himself
and appeared to be in good shape, but he did nothing for Vince.
There wasn’t a spark of any kind.

To his horror, Vince’s mind kept wandering to his

afternoon with Rob at the coffee shop. Every time the
conversation with George lagged, he thought about the easy
discussion he and Rob had shared. Once again he wondered if
he was having some sort of midlife crisis. He shouldn’t be
thinking about a young man who was barely old enough to drink
while on a date with a perfectly nice man his own age.

Maybe this was a sign he wasn’t ready to join the singles’

scene. He hadn’t dated in well over twenty years. Apparently it
was nothing like riding a bike.

The waiter brought the check, breaking into his thoughts.

Guilt over his distraction made him offer to pay. George insisted
on paying half. They said good night at the door of the
restaurant.

On the drive home, Vince castigated himself. He should

have put more effort into the date. If he’d tried harder to find

have put more effort into the date. If he’d tried harder to find
some common ground, he and George might have had a better
time. Instead he’d spent the evening mooning over a young man
who most likely thought of him as a father figure of sorts. He and
Rob were wrong for each other in every way. The twenty-four-
year age gap was only the tip of the iceberg. Even if Rob were
closer to his age, he didn’t know if the man was gay. The best
thing to do would be to stay away from his too-tempting
neighbor for a while.

“You’re being an idiot,” he muttered to himself as he

stalked into the apartment building.

Of course Rob was coming out of the laundry room with a

basketful of folded clothes. “Hey, Vince. You’re all dressed up.”

I would run into him. Murphy’s Law in action. He

sighed, glancing down at the nice slacks and shirt he wore under
his best wool overcoat. The carefully chosen clothing hadn’t
done him any good. Before he could stop himself, he confessed,
“I had a date.”

Rob’s eyes widened. For a moment, Vince thought he

almost looked hurt. Then he grinned, and Vince decided he must
be imagining things again.

“Oh? How’d it go?”

“Not well. I didn’t want to go in the first place. A friend set

it up.”

Rob’s grin turned into a grimace. “A blind date? Ugh.

People always think they know what you want, but they’re

People always think they know what you want, but they’re
usually wrong.”

He nodded in agreement. “Exactly! We had nothing in

common. Half the conversation was awkward silence.”

“Ouch.” Rob paused for a moment, hefting his laundry

basket to get a better grip on it. “I know what will make you feel
better.”

Curious despite himself, he asked, “What?”

“Hot chocolate. I’ll make you a cup, with marshmallows.

My mom always says chocolate cures everything.”

Although he’d just been telling himself he needed to stay

away from Rob, he couldn’t resist that smile. “That would be
nice. Thank you.”

Vince followed Rob up the stairs and into his apartment.

He’d never seen his neighbors’ place before. The rooms he
could see were surprisingly neat for the home of four young men.
The kitchen was a bit cluttered, but the pile of dirty dishes he’d
half expected was absent, and the countertops were clean.

Rob waved a hand toward one of the barstools at the

kitchen counter. “Have a seat.” He turned and rummaged in the
cabinets.

Vince tried, unsuccessfully, not to watch him when he bent

over to pull a small saucepan from a lower cabinet. The way
Rob’s jeans hugged his ass was so distracting Vince almost
didn’t hear his next comment.

“My roommates are all out. Cody and Dustin are on dates,

“My roommates are all out. Cody and Dustin are on dates,

and Joe’s in Kirksville visiting his girlfriend.”

They were alone. There would be no one to interrupt if one

of them happened to lean across the small countertop island and
—No. Vince cut off the thought before he could go any further.
He was not a teenager without any control. He would sit here
and drink his cocoa like a civilized person and then leave.
Obviously coming here had been a mistake.

Trying to salvage what was left of his dignity before he did

or said something stupid, Vince focused on what Rob was doing
rather than the man himself. The other man had poured milk into
the saucepan and was adding cocoa powder. He raised an
eyebrow. “I thought you were offering me hot chocolate from a
packet. You make it from scratch?”

Rob ducked his head, looking almost shy. “Yeah, well, this

is how my mom always makes hot chocolate for me. It always
makes me feel better.”

The sweet admission touched him. “I’m sure it will make

me feel better too.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes while Rob stirred

the mixture, added a bit more milk, and poured it into mugs.
Vince had to grin when Rob topped both mugs with several
mini-marshmallows.

After blowing on the steaming drink a few times, he took a

cautious sip. “This is delicious.”

“Thanks.”

“Thanks.”

Vince took another sip, and another. The cocoa really was

delicious, hot, rich, and velvety-smooth.

Rob’s eyes twinkled at him over the rim of the mug.

“Feeling better yet?”

“Actually, I am.” Whether it was the drink itself, or the fact

that Rob had cared enough to make it for him, Vince could feel
his disappointment over the evening receding. A warm glow was
beginning to spread through him. Desperate for distraction, he
glanced around the room. One of the many photos on the
refrigerator caught his eye—a snapshot of Rob with an older
woman, a man, and several children. He gestured toward the
photo. “Your family?”

“Yeah.” Rob smiled. He took the picture down and put it

on the counter near Vince. Pointing to the man and woman, he
said, “My mom and dad. Stepdad, really, but he raised me. He’s
just Dad to me.”

The affection in Rob’s voice spoke volumes about his

feelings for his parents. He clearly had a good relationship with
them. Vince envied him that. “And the children?”

“My little brothers and sisters. They’re monsters, but I love

them.”

Vince chuckled. As an only child, he’d never had to deal

with younger siblings, but he could imagine. “And I bet they think
you hung the moon.”

Rob ducked his head. “I don’t know about that.”

“I may not know you well, but I can tell you’re a great role

model for them.” The second the words escaped, Vince worried
they were too revealing.

A tinge of pink spread over Rob’s cheekbones. “You think

so?”

Vince pressed on. “I do. You care about your family, your

classes, and your sport. And you’re nice enough to make hot
chocolate from scratch for your neighbor just because he’s had a
bad night. I’d say those are pretty admirable things.”

“That means a lot, especially coming from you.” Rob’s lips

turned up in a pleased smile. He hesitated a moment, then
continued, his words coming faster. “I don’t know if you noticed,
but I’ve, uh, been kind of trying to impress you.”

Trying to impress him? Before he thought better of it, Vince

blurted, “Why?”

There was a definite blush on Rob’s cheeks now, but he

plowed on, his expression determined. “I like you. As in, I’m
attracted to you.”

“You’re gay?” What a ridiculous thing to say.

Rob let out a surprised-sounding laugh. “You didn’t know I

was gay? I must have been doing a terrible job hitting on you if
you couldn’t even tell!”

“You were hitting on me?” Vince understood Rob’s words,

yet they didn’t make sense. He couldn’t believe his wishful
thinking had been accurate after all.

thinking had been accurate after all.

“Not very well, I guess.” Rob gave him a rueful smile.

An awkward silence fell over them. Vince sipped his drink,

more to have something to do than out of any real desire.

Finally Rob reached out to touch Vince’s hand. It was the

merest brush of Rob’s fingertips over Vince’s skin, but the
contact burned into Vince like a brand. Startled, Vince met
Rob’s gaze.

“It’s okay if you’re not interested in me. You can tell me

that, and I’ll stop my pitiful attempts at flirting.”

“No.” Once again, Vince’s mouth got ahead of his brain.

Something reckless seized Vince’s vocal cords. “I’m attracted to
you too. I shouldn’t be, but I am.”

“You shouldn’t be? Why not?”

Vince sighed. “I’m more than twice your age, Rob. “

“Why is everyone so hung up on age?” Rob sounded

exasperated. He seemed on the verge of saying something else,
but the creak of the door opening stopped him. He looked
toward the door. “Dustin. You’re home early.”

Vince glanced over his shoulder. Rob’s roommate was in

the living room, hanging his coat in the closet. “Yeah, Cathy’s
roommate got dumped and needed a shoulder to cry on.”

“That sucks.”

“No kidding.” Dustin’s eyes settled on Vince. “Oh, hey,

Dr. N.”

“Hello, Dustin. I’m sorry your evening got cut short.” He

“Hello, Dustin. I’m sorry your evening got cut short.” He

was sorrier his time with Rob had been cut short. He knew he
should be grateful to Dustin, however. Spending time with Rob
alone wasn’t a good idea.

The redhead shrugged. “What can you do? I can’t blame

Cathy for wanting to help her friend.”

Dustin’s philosophical words made Vince smile. “That’s a

good way to look at it.” He turned to Rob. “Thank you for the
cocoa. You were right, I do feel better.”

Rob’s deep brown eyes met his. “I’m glad.”

Uncomfortable, Vince broke their eye contact and stood.

“You gentlemen have a nice evening.”

Before the two young men could say anything else, he

turned and fled.

* * * *

In the shower that evening, Vince couldn’t stop thinking

about Rob’s words. “I’ve kind of been trying to impress
you… I’m attracted to you.” Of course Vince shared that
attraction. He would have to be blind not to notice Rob’s body.
Ignoring the pull toward the younger man would have been
easier if a great body was all Rob had going for him.
Unfortunately for Vince, he knew that was far from the truth.
Along with his physical assets, Vince was drawn to Rob’s
kindness and his open nature. That was much harder to discount.
He could actually imagine himself with a guy like Rob—if Rob

were fifteen years older.

Vince’s mind might not have been on board with the idea of

acting on his and Rob’s attraction, but other parts of him
certainly seemed to be. Reluctant arousal thrummed through
Vince as he stood under the hot spray. He considered turning the
water to cold and hoping that would take care of the problem,
but he didn’t reach for the faucet. It had been such a long time
since he’d experienced real desire. Part of him wanted to savor
the feeling.

He ran a slow hand down his chest and stomach, pausing

near his rapidly filling cock. Closing his eyes, he gripped his
erection. The light contact, even from his own hand, made him
shiver. He tightened his grip and gave a few experimental
strokes.

God, it felt good. Rob’s smile popped into his mind, but he

didn’t try to chase the image from his brain. He gave himself a
light squeeze, imagining Rob was touching him. Pinching his
nipple with his other hand, he sped up his strokes. Rob’s voice
whispered in his mind’s ear, telling him how much he wanted
Vince, how good it was to be with him.

In an embarrassingly short time, Vince’s balls began to

draw up. Tension born from anticipation built. He pinched his
nipple harder, pretending his fingertips were Rob’s lips, and that
was all it took. Sweet heat spread through him. He cried out as
hot liquid spilled over his stomach.

The sated lassitude following his orgasm lasted only about

The sated lassitude following his orgasm lasted only about

as long as it took him to rinse the evidence down the drain. He
toweled off and stared at himself in the mirror. The same face as
always stared back at him. The same silvered hair and laugh
lines.

What was he thinking, fantasizing over a young man who

should be dating people his own age and playing the field?

Mutual or not, Vince couldn’t act on his feelings. Rob

would get over his crush soon enough. People his age usually
did. Until then, Vince would have to pretend nothing had
changed between them.

Chapter Seven

“If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.”

—Unknown

“Come on, Rob. Haul ass, dude!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming. Keep your shirt on.” With a final

scowl at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, Rob stalked out
into the living room. Dustin and Cody both stood near the door,
waiting for him. He grabbed his coat out of the closet. “Okay,
let’s go.”

“It’s about time,” Cody groused as they headed for his car.

“We’re going to be late. I told Tina we’d be there at nine.”

Dustin snickered. “Are you scared she’ll be mad? You’re

so whipped!”

so whipped!”

“Shut up!”

Rob rolled his eyes and tuned out his roommates’

bickering. For about the millionth time, he wondered why he was
even coming with them tonight. It might be New Year’s Eve, but
he didn’t feel much like partying.

As he folded himself into a pretzel to fit into the tiny

backseat of Cody’s car, Rob thought about how much things
could change in a short time. A couple of weeks ago, he’d been
on cloud nine. Vince had finally noticed him. He’d gone out on a
limb and confessed his attraction, and Vince had admitted he
was attracted to Rob too. That was a huge step.

Then why is he avoiding you?

He wanted to deny that Vince was avoiding him, but he had

to face the truth. The age thing was a bigger obstacle than he’d
thought it would be. Since the night of the cocoa, Vince barely
acknowledged him. Any time they ran into each other in the
hallway, the older man would rush off like he was on fire.
Though he tried not to let Vince’s behavior get to him, he
couldn’t help being hurt each time. He needed to figure out a
way to show Vince that the age gap wasn’t as much of a
problem as Vince clearly saw it to be.

“Cheer up. We’re going to a party, not a funeral.”

Glancing up, Rob caught sight of Cody’s eyes in the

rearview mirror. They were locked right on him. He wanted to
tell his roommate to mind his own business, but he could see real

tell his roommate to mind his own business, but he could see real
concern in Cody’s gaze. He dredged up a smile. “I know. I’ll
have fun, I promise.”

“Damn straight,” Dustin agreed.

* * * *

They arrived at the party about fifteen minutes late. Cody

rushed inside to find Tina. Dustin trailed after him, still making
smart remarks about him being whipped. His two roommates
were already inside before Rob managed to clamber out of the
backseat.

Once inside, Rob made a beeline for the snack table. Not

only was he hungry, but the snack table was usually a good place
to people-watch. After snagging some cookies, chips, and other
goodies, he opened up a bottle of water and found a nearby
sofa.

For a while he stayed there, eating and saying hello to

people he knew whenever they came by. At one point a couple
sat on the other end and started making out. He almost left to
find a new place to hang out, but they finally moved on.

Watching everyone else having a good time made Rob wish

he’d stayed home. The festive atmosphere wasn’t rubbing off on
him at all. The opposite happened. Boredom and loneliness
seemed to isolate him from the people around him.

The cushion next to him was suddenly occupied. “Hey.

You’re Rob, right?”

Startled, he almost dropped his plate. The guy next to him

Startled, he almost dropped his plate. The guy next to him

was cute, with longish blond hair and dimples. He didn’t look
familiar. “Yeah, I’m Rob. Have we met?”

The guy grinned. “No, we’ve never met. I’ve been to

several of your swim meets, though. I’m Brian.”

“Nice to meet you, Brian.” He shook the hand Brian held

out, startled again when the other man didn’t let go right away.

“I wanted to come over here earlier, but I was too

nervous.”

Rob knew he wasn’t an intimidating guy. He laughed.

“Nervous? Why?”

Brian ran his thumb along the palm of Rob’s hand, which he

still hadn’t released. “Because I think you’re really hot.”

Rob shivered at the sensation of Brian’s thumb stroking his

skin. Seven months of celibate singlehood weighed heavily on
him, and it felt good to be touched. In his lonely state, Brian’s
dark eyes, full of admiration and heat, were temptation incarnate.

Although part of him wanted to take Brian up on whatever

he was offering, he knew he would regret it later. He opened his
mouth to tell Brian as much, but before he could say anything,
someone lurched to a stop beside them.

“Rob, I was lookin’ for you.” His ex, Mike, swayed on his

feet next to the couch, his expression mournful.

Rob sighed. “What do you want, Mike?”

Mike grabbed the hand Brian wasn’t holding. “I wan’ed to

Mike grabbed the hand Brian wasn’t holding. “I wan’ed to

tell you I’m sorry, an’ I miss you.”

If the slurred words hadn’t clued him in, the whiskey breath

would have. The last thing he needed was to have a
confrontation with a very drunk Mike in front of all these people.
“I’m not doing this right now. You’re drunk, and I already told
you I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Glaring down at Rob’s and Brian’s hands, Mike pulled him

up. “C’mon, Robby. I said I was sorry.”

What did I ever see in this guy?

Brian stood as well. “He said he didn’t want to talk to

you.”

“Fuck you! I c’n talk to him if I wanna.” Mike faced Brian,

an angry scowl twisting his features.

To Rob’s annoyance, Brian squared off with Mike like he

wanted to punch the drunken man. Rob moved to head off the
confrontation. “Stop—”

Mike’s fist flashed out as Rob stepped between them,

catching him at the top of his cheekbone. Even drunk, Mike
could throw a vicious punch. Rob stumbled back into Brian.

Seconds ticked by in absolute silence. He, Brian, and Mike

all stared at each other. Then his brain registered the pain in his
cheek.

“You hit me.”

Mike rushed over to Rob, face crumpling. “Rob, babe, ’m

sorry. I didn’ mean to.”

sorry. I didn’ mean to.”

He held out his hands to ward the man off. “I don’t care.

Don’t touch me.”

“Rob,” Mike whined.

“No. I’m done with you.” All the bad feelings he’d been

having over the past couple of weeks coalesced into an icy ball
of misery. Boredom, loneliness, confusion, and now the pain in
his cheek wrecked whatever chance he’d had of enjoying the
party. “I’m going home.”

When Brian touched his arm, a hopeful expression on his

face, Rob gave him a half smile. “It was nice to meet you, Brian,
but I don’t think I’d be very good company tonight.”

“Maybe I’ll see you around, then,” Brian offered.

“Sure. Good night.”

* * * *

Twenty minutes later, Rob climbed out of the cab he’d

called and slowly made his way into the apartment building.
Tired, sore, and crabby, he trudged up the stairs. He didn’t
really pay attention to the footsteps coming up the stairs behind
him until there was another person right next to him.

A quick glance out of the corner of his eye told him the

person was Vince. The thought of trying to talk to him and being
rebuffed made Rob’s heart ache, especially after everything else
he’d been through this evening. He decided to do what Vince
had been doing to him—give him the bare minimum greeting to
be civil. Only turning his head slightly, he muttered a hello.

be civil. Only turning his head slightly, he muttered a hello.

“Are you all right?”

A little taken aback by the concern in the older man’s

voice, he turned to face him.

Vince’s eyes widened. “What happened to your face?”

What do you care? You’ve been ignoring me forever .

Anger rising, he snapped, “I got punched. What does it look
like?”

Drawing back slightly, Vince gave him a level look. “I

didn’t mean to pry.”

Sniping at Vince hadn’t made him feel better at all. In fact,

being a jerk made him feel a whole lot worse. “And I didn’t
mean to yell at you. I’m sorry. I’ve had a really bad night.”

Vince gave him a tentative smile. “That’s understandable.”

He paused for a moment. “Did you have someone look at your
eye?”

“No. It hurts, but I’ll live.” He shrugged.

“I’m sure you will, but why don’t you let me look at it just

to be safe?”

He didn’t really know what good having Vince look at his

face would do, but he nodded anyway. “Okay.”

Vince unlocked his apartment door. Rob trailed after him,

raising a tentative hand to his cheek and hissing when he brushed
over his swollen cheekbone. “Ow.”

Pointing to the single barstool next to his kitchen island,

Pointing to the single barstool next to his kitchen island,

Vince said, “Sit. I’ll get the ice pack.”

He sat while Vince turned on the light over the sink and

rummaged in a drawer.

After a couple of minutes, the other man triumphantly held

up an old-fashioned soft ice bag with a screw-on cap. “I knew I
had one of these around here somewhere.” He crossed to the
refrigerator and started filling the bag with crushed ice.

With a soft, tired sigh, Rob planted his elbows on the

countertop and rested his chin in his hands. To distract himself,
he glanced around the parts of the apartment he could see.
Vince’s place was neat and kind of plain. There wasn’t much
decoration on the walls or anywhere else. Nothing about the
decor said “Vince” to him.

From across the room, Vince spoke. “Did you get into a

fight?”

A bitter little laugh escaped. “Not exactly. I was at a party

talking to this guy, and my ex showed up. He was incredibly
drunk and ready for a fight. I tried to stop it, and he hit me
instead of the other guy.”

Vince’s jaw tightened. “He hit you? Has he done that

before?”

The concern he heard in Vince’s voice distracted him

enough that it took him a few seconds to process the words.
“No. He was never violent or anything. He was just drunk
tonight.”

tonight.”

“Good.” Vince paused, frowned. “Not that he was drunk.”

“I know what you mean.”

They lapsed back into silence for a few minutes while Vince

finished his task. The quiet lulled Rob into a half doze. When
Vince appeared next to him, he jumped.

The older man laughed quietly. “I didn’t mean to startle

you. Let me get a look at that eye.”

A large, warm hand grasped his chin, tilting his face toward

the dim light. Vince leaned forward, peering at his cheek and
eye. “Well, your eye looks fine. No broken blood vessels or
other signs of bleeding. I imagine the whole side of your face will
be swollen and bruised for a while, though.”

He managed a smile. “I guess that’s what I get for getting in

the way of a fist.”

The corners of Vince’s mouth turned up. Rather than

removing his hand, he continued to hold Rob’s face. With his
thumb, he traced a slow, careful path just below the bruised
cheekbone. His pale eyes held compassion and something else
Rob was afraid to name.

Nearly undone by the tender touch and intent gaze, Rob

closed his eyes. Everything within him seemed to strain toward
that touch, that hand. Then Vince’s mouth brushed his.

At first, shock held him immobile. After all this time wanting

and hoping, he couldn’t believe Vince was actually kissing him.
A part of him insisted this couldn’t be real.

A part of him insisted this couldn’t be real.

Vince kissed him again, still so tentative. When Rob’s lips

parted on a whimper of pure need, Vince slipped his tongue into
Rob’s mouth almost shyly. The sensation of a tongue stroking
along his own, caressing the sensitive inner tissues of his mouth,
made him shiver.

Vince curled the hand that had been touching his face

around the back of his neck and began to kiss him in earnest,
devouring his mouth. Rob let him in, bringing a hand up to clutch
at Vince’s shirt to draw him closer.

Vince moved to stand between his thighs, their upper

bodies pressing together. Vince’s chest was warm through his
soft, well-worn shirt, and surprisingly firm. Rob cursed the
clothing between them, wanting nothing more than to be skin to
skin.

Needing more contact, Rob slid from the stool. He twined

his arms around Vince’s neck. Vince groaned and shifted, his
lower body brushing against Rob’s. Vince was hard. He wanted
this as much as Rob did. Rob’s cock, already interested, came
to full, aching hardness.

The sound Vince made was pure desperation. The kiss

went from sweet to carnal in an instant. Rob lowered his arms,
wanting to touch Vince.

Before he could put his thoughts into action, Vince jerked

back. Startled, Rob opened his eyes.

Several seconds passed. Vince stood staring, his breathing

Several seconds passed. Vince stood staring, his breathing

labored. Rob could see the moment regret set in. Those pale
eyes went from hot with desire to ice cold in an instant.

“Vince, what—”

The other man cut him off. “This isn’t going to happen. If

you’re looking for a daddy, you’d best look elsewhere.”

Rob gaped in shock, feeling like he’d been punched again.

What was Vince talking about?

Vince’s kiss-swollen lips twisted into a grimace. “You can’t

tell me you know what you want, Rob. You’re twenty-one years
old. Still figuring things out. You’re not ready for the kind of
relationship I’m looking for.” After a moment of painful silence,
he continued, “You need to find someone your own age.
Someone who won’t expect more than you can give.”

Someone who won’t expect more than you can give .

What did Vince know about what Rob needed, or what he was
willing to give? Each word Vince uttered stabbed at Rob’s heart
like a knife. Confusion, anger, and most of all, hurt, swirled
inside him, choking him.

To his horror, he felt tears welling up. Swallowing them

back, he stood. “I’m not looking for a daddy. I’ve got a dad
already. I’m looking for someone who doesn’t play games and
treats me with respect. I thought that could be you, but I guess I
was wrong. I’ll just go back to my playpen with the rest of the
stupid kids.”

His voice broke right along with his heart. Desperate to get

back to his apartment before he fell apart, Rob whirled and

back to his apartment before he fell apart, Rob whirled and
rushed out of there. His shaking hands fumbled, but he finally got
his apartment door open.

The short hallway to his and Dustin’s bedroom seemed

three times longer than usual. When he reached his room, he
curled up into a ball on the bed. The events of the past few
minutes replayed in his head over and over like a bad dream he
couldn’t wake up from.

How could things have gone so wrong? He’d thought

Vince liked him. Vince had kissed him first, and they’d both
enjoyed it. He knew Vince had enjoyed it. None of that
mattered, though. Vince obviously thought he was an immature,
flighty jerk of the lowest order.

The pain in his cheek was nothing compared to the ache in

his chest.

Chapter Eight

“At sixteen I was stupid, confused and indecisive. At

twenty-five I was wise, self-confident, prepossessing and
assertive. At forty-five I am stupid, confused, insecure and
indecisive. Who would have supposed that maturity is only a
short break in adolescence?”

—Jules Feiffer

By the second week of February, Vince had discovered a

painful truth about himself. He was an idiot. Not just an idiot, but

painful truth about himself. He was an idiot. Not just an idiot, but
quite possibly the biggest idiot in the state of Missouri, if not the
entire country.

Nothing else could explain the cruel way he’d treated Rob

on New Year’s Eve. He’d said patronizing, hurtful things. The
awful part was he’d said them on purpose, knowing the effect
they’d have, and knowing full well he was protecting himself
rather than Rob.

Since then he’d barely seen Rob. He knew the younger

man was avoiding him. When he did see Rob, Rob looked away
from him without speaking. Even though he had been the one to
cause the rift between them, Vince missed their talks.

Worst of all were the times he spotted Rob with other

young men who weren’t his roommates. In all the months they’d
been neighbors, he’d never seen Rob come home or leave with
anyone other than his three friends. Watching him do so now
continually reminded Vince of the kiss, and the aftermath.

He dreamed about that kiss. Most mornings he woke up

hard like he had when he was much younger. Unlike his younger
days, however, he woke up alone, missing something he’d never
even had.

On the way to his night class, he passed Rob coming up the

stairs, an attractive blond following him. Rob didn’t even glance
at him. Vince couldn’t help torturing himself with thoughts of the
other man being Rob’s new lover.

The mere thought filled him with an aching emptiness. After

The mere thought filled him with an aching emptiness. After

his class, he stopped by his office, ostensibly to work. In reality,
he just didn’t want to go back to his apartment yet. He sat at his
desk, thinking about the strange feelings plaguing him.

The framed photo of Dean he kept on his desk caught his

eye. Although he’d taken the picture more than ten years ago, he
still remembered the day. They’d been on vacation at the Grand
Canyon. Dean had been staring out at the canyon, his expression
full of awe and joy. Vince had snapped a picture when Dean
turned to him to share his excitement. Twenty years together,
and they’d gone by in the blink of an eye.

He picked up the photo and traced his finger over the

beloved face. What would Dean say about his attraction to Rob?
He knew his partner wouldn’t want him to be alone. Would
Dean think he was crazy to have feelings for someone so much
younger than him? Probably not. A true romantic, Dean would
have thought it was sweet.

Unfortunately, he’d missed his chance. He’d taken what

Rob tried to give him and thrown it back in his face, in the
cruelest manner possible.

* * * *

On Friday night, Vince took advantage of the empty

laundry room rather than attempting to go out. Ed had offered to
set him up on another date, an offer he’d turned down with
alacrity. Thinking about his last blind date led him to the cocoa
Rob had made for him, which reminded him of how foolish he’d

Rob had made for him, which reminded him of how foolish he’d
been. He didn’t need any more reminders.

While his clothing dried, he went back to his apartment and

attempted to grade some essays. He was relieved when the timer
he’d set went off, signaling the end of the dryer cycle. He
snagged his laundry basket on the way out the door.

The mindless task of folding his clothes proved to be

soothing. By the time he folded the last shirt and stacked it on
top of the others, he felt more relaxed than he had in quite a
while. His relaxed state was shattered, however, when the door
opened and Rob entered the room.

The younger man’s attention was focused on keeping hold

of the basket he carried, which kept him from noticing Vince
right away. Vince took the moment to study him. Faint circles
shadowed the skin beneath those big, dark eyes. Rob’s face
looked drawn and tired. Dejected.

Vince hated seeing upbeat, cheerful Rob looking so down.

He couldn’t help but feel that some of Rob’s unhappiness was
his fault, even though he knew the young man must have gotten
over the horrid things he’d said weeks ago. Hefting his clothes,
he decided to leave without drawing attention to himself.

His movement must have caught the other man’s eye.

Rob’s gaze fell on Vince, and he frowned. After a brief pause,
Rob half turned as if to go.

Though Vince knew he deserved such a reaction, it still cut

deep. “Stay. I’m finished.”

A few quick strides carried him past the younger man and

A few quick strides carried him past the younger man and

to the doorway. Once there, he couldn’t make himself leave. He
hated the painful silence between them, and the heavy regret in
his heart. I have to apologize. I may not be able to set things
right, but I can’t leave them this way either.

Squaring his shoulders, he turned to face Rob. “There’s

something I need to tell you before I go.” He took a deep
breath. “On New Year’s Eve, I said a lot of things to you. I
didn’t say them because I believed them. I said them because I
was afraid.”

Rob stared at him, expression skeptical, but said nothing.

Vince gave him a sad smile. “It’s true. I was terrified. I’m a

boring college professor almost twenty-five years older than you
are. The last time I started a relationship was before you were
born. We’re in different places in our lives. I couldn’t believe you
would stay interested in me for long, and the idea of being hurt
again… I just couldn’t face it.” He sighed, suddenly weary. “I
don’t expect you to forget what I said, or even forgive, but I
want you to know how sorry I am.”

Not daring to look at Rob for fear of seeing disgust or

dismissal in his face, Vince spun on his heel and tried to flee. A
hand on his arm stopped him. Still, he didn’t turn. Fear of what
he’d see froze him in place.

Voice low, Rob asked, “Are you sorry because you hurt

my feelings, or because you wanted to be with me?”

He closed his eyes and whispered the truth. “Both.”

He closed his eyes and whispered the truth. “Both.”

Rob pulled his arm, drawing Vince around to face him.

Vince took another deep breath for courage and opened his
eyes. Rob’s gaze met his. The emotion in those deep brown eyes
stunned him.

Rob reached up and cupped his unshaven cheek. “I want

to be with you too. And I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll show
you I’m going to keep you.”

“Rob.” An almost unbearable longing welled up. Words

fled, leaving him helpless.

Warm, firm lips covered his own. He groaned into the kiss,

opening to admit Rob’s questing tongue. The flavors of mint and
man washed over him. Of their own accord, his hands released
the basket he held. Thoughts of the safety of Rob’s toes flew
away as Rob kicked the obstruction aside and closed the
distance between them.

A desperate whimper escaped him at the press of Rob’s

firm body against his own. They stumbled back the few steps
into the wall, their lower bodies grazing. He thrust forward
instinctively, causing his cock to rub against Rob’s. The brief
contact sent pleasure coursing through him.

“God,” Rob choked out, pushing him harder against the

wall.

Almost painfully aroused, Vince speared his hands into

Rob’s short, dark hair and kissed him harder, devouring him with
lips and tongue. Rob tugged at Vince’s tucked-in shirt, yanking it

free. Air rushed over his back, cooling him, until Rob slid his hot
hands up the bare skin of Vince’s back. He shivered at the
exquisite sensation.

An unexpected voice broke into the haze of desire. “Hey,

Rob, have you—oh shit!”

They sprang apart, whirling toward the intruder.

Rob’s roommate Dustin stood staring at them, his eyes

wide as dinner plates. “Dude! You could warn a guy.”

Rob’s cheeks flushed crimson. “Has anybody ever told you

your timing needs work?”

The redhead cracked up. “All the time, bro.”

Charmed by Rob’s blush, Vince couldn’t get too upset at

Dustin. He laughed too.

Rob rolled his eyes. “What did you want, Dustin?”

Still snickering, Dustin managed, “I wanted to know if

you’d seen my MP3 player, but I can tell you’re busy.” He
grabbed Rob’s laundry basket from the table where he’d left it.
“I’ll take these upstairs for you. I’m thinking you might have
other plans now.”

With that parting jab, Dustin left.

Vince looked over at Rob. Rob peered back at him, eyes

wide, face still pink with the remnants of his embarrassment.
Several seconds passed while they stared at each other. Then
Rob’s lips twitched, just a little, and they were both laughing.

Soon Rob was doubled over with the force of his laughter.

Soon Rob was doubled over with the force of his laughter.

“Did you see Dustin’s face? Talk about surprised to see us!”

Thinking of the redhead’s astonished expression, Vince

broke into fresh chuckles. “I hope we haven’t scarred him for
life.”

Rob shook his head. “Nah, Dustin’s tough. He even sat

through Brokeback Mountain with me without giggling or
getting all grossed out like Cody did.”

Vince remembered the reactions of his friends and his

roommate when he’d come out his senior year of college. The
majority of them hadn’t taken the news well at all. They would
have been disgusted to walk in on him kissing another man, yet
Dustin had been amused. Maybe that was a sign of the times?
“Good for him. He doesn’t disapprove?”

“Of me being gay? No. We’ve been best friends ever since

we met on the first day of swim practice. I came out to him a
couple weeks later, and he was cool with it.” Rob shrugged,
grinned. “He knows he’s not my type.”

“And what is your type?” Vince teased, moving closer.

Rob rubbed his chin, pretending to think. “Hmm…I’m kind

of partial to sexy professors who live across the hall from me.”

“Doesn’t that limit your dating pool?” His question was only

half joking. A tiny part of him still wondered if their age
difference would one day be a problem.

Catching Vince’s right hand, Rob brought it up and pressed

a soft kiss to the palm. “Yeah, down to one, which is just the

a soft kiss to the palm. “Yeah, down to one, which is just the
way I want it.”

Although he usually considered himself to be more rational

and logical than sentimental—not that he’d been particularly
rational lately—Rob’s words touched him, melting the last of his
resistance. He squeezed Rob’s hand. “That’s the way I want it
too.”

“Good.”

There was a long pause while they gazed into each others’

eyes. Finally, Vince shook off his sappy trance. “As much as I
enjoy the laundry room, we should probably go somewhere
else.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Rob bent down and gathered up the

pieces of clothing he’d scattered when he kicked the basket out
of the way. When he finished, he lifted the basket. “Your place?”

Vince nodded, reaching for the laundry. “I can carry it.”

Rob held the clothing away with an impish grin. “I know,

but I want to impress you with my muscles and my incredible
politeness.”

Laughing, Vince gave up. “Well, you’re succeeding. Let’s

go.”

They left the laundry room and went upstairs. Once they

were inside the apartment, he took the basket from Rob and set
it in a corner where it wouldn’t get in the way. Rob perched on
the barstool, watching him.

Vince couldn’t help watching Rob right back. God, he’s

Vince couldn’t help watching Rob right back. God, he’s

beautiful. A mixture of awe, desire, and nerves filled him. He
hadn’t been with anyone since Dean. He hadn’t wanted to. Now
he had the desire, but he wasn’t sure he had the skill. He’d only
had one real lover, and his handful of other experiences had been
well over twenty years ago. What if Rob thought he was terrible
in bed? The thought made him cringe.

Rob’s eyebrows drew together. “What’s wrong?”

Embarrassed, he crossed the room to the kitchen. “Would

you like something to drink?”

Crossing his arms, Rob frowned. “No, thank you. Don’t try

to change the subject.”

His face heated. “I’m a little nervous.”

“About what, specifically?” Rob propped his elbows on the

countertop, leaning toward Vince.

His face felt so hot he was sure it would catch fire. How

could he phrase his fears without sounding completely ridiculous?
Once again, he felt much too old to be having such silly fears.
“I’ve been single for three years. Before that, I was with the
same man for twenty. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Rob considered Vince’s words. “I’m nervous too, Vince.

I’ve been single for eight months now, and I don’t have that
many years of experience in the first place. Plus…”

Rob paused for a long moment, as if debating with himself

whether to continue. After a deep breath, he did. “You were
with someone for twenty years. You must have loved him a lot.

with someone for twenty years. You must have loved him a lot.
It’s kind of intimidating trying to follow that.” He grimaced, his
eyes asking for understanding. “God, I hope this isn’t coming out
wrong.”

He’s nervous too. I never thought he might feel the

same way I do. Vince rounded the counter and stood beside
Rob’s barstool. “I know what you mean.”

Rob’s anxious expression turned into a wry smile. “I’m all

for laundry room make-out sessions, but maybe we should take
this a little slower. I’d rather take our time and do this right than
rush it and screw up everything.”

Rob was more patient than Vince expected, and wiser.

Taking their relationship slowly sounded like a good idea to him.
Or at least, it sounded good to his brain. At his age, he found
listening to his brain rather than other, lower, parts of his
anatomy wasn’t as difficult as it used to be. The intense attraction
he felt to the younger man would make resisting a bit tougher,
but he could do it. Sometimes anticipation made things sweeter
in the end. He smiled back at Rob. “I like that idea.”

“I’m glad.” Rob slid off the barstool and moved closer,

putting his arms around Vince’s neck. “How about we plan to
meet tomorrow night and do something together?”

Vince wrapped his arms around Rob and held him close,

the warmth comforting him. “Sounds good.”

“Okay, I’ll come over at six, if that’s okay?”

He nodded.

He nodded.

Rob gave him a wide grin. “Great. I’ll see you then. I’d

better get going tonight, though, or I’ll have trouble sticking with
the plan.”

Before Vince could say anything else, Rob leaned in and

kissed him gently. He drew back after only a moment. “Night,
Vince.”

“Good night, Rob. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Rob squeezed him tight for a moment. “I can’t wait.”

Chapter Nine

“Young people have an almost biological destiny to be

hopeful.”

—Marshall Ganz

On Saturday morning, Rob awoke early. He considered

staying in bed, but a quick glance at the clock told him his alarm
would be going off soon, anyway. With the A-10
Championships only a few days away, he couldn’t afford to miss
a minute of practice. Plus, he had the additional incentive of the
date he’d arranged with Vince tonight. He needed to start
thinking about what they should do. Rob stretched, yawning, and
climbed out of bed.

Dustin stirred in his bed across the room. From the

mountain of blankets he was encased in, he groaned. “Tell me
it’s not time to get up.”

it’s not time to get up.”

“Sorry, can’t do that.” Rob pulled on a Saint Louis

University T-shirt and a pair of blue-and-white warm-up pants.
Thinking of the cold weather yesterday, he tugged a hooded
sweatshirt over his head.

“Aw, I don’t want to.”

Dustin’s whining made him laugh. “You shouldn’t have

stayed up so late last night playing video games. I had a better
excuse to stay up late, and I went to bed earlier than you.”

More grumbles issued from the lump on the bed. “Just

’cause you didn’t get laid last night doesn’t mean you can take it
out on me.”

Ugh. He should never have told Dustin about his and

Vince’s agreement. At least he knew Dustin wouldn’t run his
mouth to anybody else, even if he would tease Rob about it
mercilessly. “Low blow, Dustin. Not everyone hops into bed
right away, you know.”

Finally, his roommate threw off the covers and sat up. “I

know.” Dustin’s bright green gaze met his. “I think Dr. N’s a
good guy. If you’re serious about him, don’t let anybody change
your mind.”

“I won’t. Thanks.” The show of support was nice. Not

everyone would be so accepting. He already knew Cody would
disapprove. Joe’s preoccupation with his own relationship might
keep him from having an opinion one way or another, but if he
wanted to be realistic, Rob would have to admit that many of his

wanted to be realistic, Rob would have to admit that many of his
friends and family members would think Vince was way too old
for him.

I won’t let them get to me. I know what I want . Vince

had the total package—the man was sexy, kind, intelligent, and
interesting, not to mention mature and responsible. While that
might not have done much for other guys his age, Rob valued
those things highly.

Noticing Dustin had dressed, he motioned for his friend to

precede him out of their room. “Get a move on, man. We don’t
want to be late to practice.”

* * * *

After practice, Rob and Dustin went back home. Rob still

didn’t have any idea what he and Vince would do later. Dustin
wasn’t any help either. All of his suggestions involved bars,
which Rob didn’t enjoy very much since he didn’t drink, or
places Vince probably wouldn’t like. A cheap hamburger joint
crawling with coeds or bowling at the local lanes didn’t sound
like Vince’s idea of a nice night out.

A little frustrated, Rob decided to work on homework for a

while instead of worrying. Musculoskeletal Pathology had been
kicking his butt lately, and all the swim meets hadn’t helped. He
opened up his book and focused on studying.

Hours later, the sound of the front door closing loudly

pulled his attention from his work. He looked at the clock. To his
horror, the bright red numbers read five p.m. He had to meet

horror, the bright red numbers read five p.m. He had to meet
Vince in an hour. Not only had he not thought of anything for
them to do, but he also had to get ready. He still wore the
clothes he’d worn to practice earlier.

Panic began to set in. He jumped up from the bed and

rushed down the short hall to the bathroom, which he found
already occupied. Annoyed, he made a detour to the living
room. Joe was on the phone while Dustin sat on the couch,
sorting through a pile of envelopes. Cody must be in the
bathroom.

Dustin looked up. “Mail call.” He tossed a stack of

envelopes at Rob. Rather than sticking together, they scattered,
landing on the floor.

“Gee, thanks.” Rob bent down and gathered up a catalog,

letters, and bills, too used to Dustin’s antics to get mad. A red
envelope caught his eye. He subscribed to a by-mail movie rental
service, and his latest movie had arrived. If he remembered
correctly, he’d requested a fairly new gay romantic drama.
Maybe he and Vince could watch it together.

The click of the bathroom door opening told him Cody was

done in there. He hurried in, stripped, and showered in record
time. He might have taken longer, but only a few minutes after he
started the water, Joe pounded on the door, yelling at him to
hurry up. He rolled his eyes but complied.

When he shut off the water and toweled himself dry, he

realized he’d forgotten clothes. Wrapping the towel around his
hips, he opened the bathroom door. Joe stood outside, tapping

hips, he opened the bathroom door. Joe stood outside, tapping
his toe and frowning. His expression went from impatient to an
amused smirk in about two seconds.

“Nice outfit.”

Rather than getting embarrassed, Rob struck a pose.

“Thanks. I’m starting a trend.”

Joe covered his eyes. “Aw, come on, man! Go put on

some pants, at least.”

Laughing, Rob left the bathroom and went to his room. He

dropped the towel in the hamper and put on a pair of his newest
boxers. A glance at the clock told him he had forty minutes to
get ready.

Despite the nervous paranoia telling him to hurry up, he

should have had plenty of time. Of course, Cody called his name
before he could find something to wear. He grabbed his best pair
of jeans, pulled them on, and went to answer the summons
shirtless.

Halfway down the hallway, he met Cody. His roommate

handed him his cell phone. “You left this in the living room again.
It’s your mom.”

He took the phone and flopped down on his bed. “Hey,

Mom. What’s up?”

“Your dad and I reserved our room for the championships.

We’re at the Holiday Inn, room 310.”

He scribbled the information on a scrap of paper. “Cool.

Are you bringing the brats?”

Are you bringing the brats?”

She laughed. “Jackson and Jaden tried to beg us into letting

them come, but they need to be in school. They’ll stay with your
grandma.”

He laughed, easily able to picture the twins begging to

come.

His mom continued, “You should have seen their puppy-

dog faces. I think your dad almost caved, they looked so sad.
Luckily they had a big field trip at school, and that distracted
them. I don’t envy their teacher.”

Rob didn’t either. The twins could be wild sometimes.

“Do you have all the times for your races yet?”

He shifted on the bed, wondering how hard it would be to

get off the phone. He didn’t have much time. “I’ve got most of
them. I’ll e-mail them to you later, okay?”

“That’ll be fine, honey. Oh, did you hear your cousin Ann is

getting married?”

Jeez. Like he cared. He hadn’t seen Ann in at least five

years.

Before he could say as much, his mom continued. “Your

aunt Candace called me yesterday and told me. It’s about time,
I’d say. Ann and her fiancé have been together for seven years.
Candace is so excited. She’s already picking out flowers and
who knows what else, even though Ann just told her a couple of
days ago. You know how she is.”

His mom went on about Ann’s wedding, and then started

His mom went on about Ann’s wedding, and then started

talking about something that had happened at some neighbor’s
wedding. Rob let her words flow over him. It was hard to
concentrate on something that held so little interest for him when
he had Vince to look forward to.

Another glance at the clock showed he now had ten

minutes. A surge of alarm made him jump up from the bed.
“Mom, I’ve got to go. I have a date tonight, and I’m going to be
late.”

His mom sounded pleased. “A date? That’s wonderful,

honey! Have fun.”

“I will. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He jabbed the button to end

the call. At the closet, he pulled out a white T-shirt and a khaki
sweater. A pair of khaki socks and his seldom-worn brown
Oxford shoes completed the outfit.

Dustin came in as he peered at himself in their cracked full-

length mirror, trying to make his short hair lie down. He grinned
nervously at his roommate in the mirror. “Will I do?”

After giving him a quick once-over, Dustin nodded. “You

look fine. Besides, I bet Dr. N would think you looked good
even if you were wearing your ratty old sweats.”

“I hope you’re right. I’m kind of nervous.”

Dustin shrugged. “Who isn’t, on a first date? It’ll be okay.”

Strangely enough, the little pep talk made him feel a tiny bit

better. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

On his way out, he picked up his coat, wallet, and keys, as

well as the movie. Maybe Vince had thought of something for
them to do, but if not, they’d have a backup plan.

He was across the hall and at Vince’s door in only a few

strides. He paused there to take a deep breath. He was still
nervous and full of anticipation.

Finally he knocked on the door. He didn’t have to wait

long. The door opened in less than a minute. Rob drank in the
sight of Vince standing in the doorway, dressed in a pair of khaki
slacks and a white button-down shirt. On him, the look was
effortlessly sexy. Taking things slowly would be even harder than
he’d anticipated.

“Hey.” Real smooth, dummy. The second his mouth

opened, he wanted to roll his eyes at himself. How inarticulate
could he get?

“Come on in.” Vince stood back to let him pass.

He came in, stopping just past the entryway. “After I left

last night, I realized we didn’t make specific plans. Was there
anything you wanted to do?”

Vince gave a helpless shrug. “Dinner? I don’t really know

what you like to do.”

Knowing Vince had grappled with the same problem he’d

had made him feel a lot less inept. He laughed. “I had the same
thought earlier. Dinner sounds great. If you don’t want to stay
out after, I have a movie we could watch. I don’t know if it’s
your type of movie or not…” He offered a shrug of his own.

your type of movie or not…” He offered a shrug of his own.

“It’s not a slasher movie or one of those awful teen

comedies, is it?”

He gave a theatrical shudder. “No.”

Vince smiled. “Then let’s watch the movie.”

Rob smiled back, pleased he’d be able to spend some time

with Vince alone. “Cool. Where do you want to go? I’ll drive, if
you want.”

“Do you like Thai food? There’s a little place on Delmar

that’s good.”

He nodded. “Thai’s good. I’ll eat pretty much anything.”

They left Vince’s place and walked side by side to the

parking lot. Rob pointed out his car and unlocked the doors with
the key fob.

As they got in, Vince gestured toward the rear window. “I

think I would have been able to pick out your car without you
pointing it out.”

“All the SLU and swimming stickers gave me away, huh? I

guess I’d better not use this as a getaway car, then.”

Vince chuckled. “I’m sorry your life of crime got cut short.”

“Oh well. I was too busy to fit a crime spree in this

semester, anyway.” He started the car and pulled out of the
parking lot.

The Thai restaurant was on the section of Delmar known as

the Loop. He’d always liked the Loop, with its eclectic selection

the Loop. He’d always liked the Loop, with its eclectic selection
of shops, restaurants, and clubs. Rob found a parking spot about
a block away from the restaurant.

“Brr. I’m glad I brought my coat.” Rob shivered in the cold

air.

“I’m looking forward to spring.” Vince finished buttoning

his coat, and Rob fell into step beside him. Within a few minutes,
they reached the small restaurant. Rob held the door open for
Vince.

Vince smiled his thanks. “Do you want to eat here, or

should we get takeout?”

Takeout? Did that mean Vince was as eager for them to

spend time alone together as he was? Rob smiled back. “Let’s
get takeout.”

* * * *

Half an hour later, they were back at Vince’s apartment

with a bag containing pad thai and several other dishes Rob had
never tried.

Vince motioned for him to put the bag on the coffee table

and went into the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?
I’ve got water, juice, milk, or iced tea. I made decaf, since I
knew you don’t drink caffeine.”

Rob paused in the middle of taking the food cartons out of

the bag, a little thrill going through him at Vince’s words. He
remembered. “Tea would be great, thanks.”

After a few minutes of rattling around in the kitchen, Vince

returned to the living room bearing a tray with two glasses of
iced tea, plates and silverware, and a sugar bowl. He set the tray
down and gestured at the bowl. “I didn’t know if you wanted
sugar or not.”

Rob shrugged. “I can drink tea with or without sugar.

Dustin always tells me the only real tea is sweet tea. He freaks
when I drink it unsweetened.”

Vince smiled. “Let me guess. You drink it that way just to

bother him.”

“I would never do such a thing,” he answered, unable to

hide a grin.

“Oh, of course not.”

Together they finished setting the containers of food out on

the coffee table. The scents of coconut, chili, and lime permeated
the air, making Rob hungry. They sat on the couch side by side,
each dishing up small portions of the different foods. To a guy
who generally ate pizza, cereal, and burgers, the flavors were
fascinating.

He also found Vince fascinating. He knew he had it bad

when just watching the older man eat was enough to distract him
from his own food. Vince’s hands were long and lean, with
graceful, tapered fingers. The thought of those hands on his skin
made him shiver.

Putting down his fork, Vince opened the last container,

seemingly oblivious to Rob’s stare. “Are you ready for dessert?

seemingly oblivious to Rob’s stare. “Are you ready for dessert?
The sticky rice and mango is excellent.”

“Sure.”

Vince scooped a small amount of fruit and rice onto his

plate. He picked up a bit of mango and popped it into his mouth,
humming with pleasure. “Mm, good.” He snagged another piece
and held it out toward Rob.

Rather than taking the bite with his fingers, he leaned

forward and took it with his mouth. His lips closed briefly around
Vince’s fingers, his tongue grazing them. Vince’s eyes widened.
He looked shocked but also kind of turned on.

Rob pulled back, surprised by his own behavior. His face

heated. He tried to be cool, like he’d planned what he’d just
done. The sweet flavor of the mango warred with the salty taste
of Vince’s skin.

They stared at each other for a long moment. Vince smiled

and picked out another piece of mango, one eyebrow raised as if
in challenge. This time Rob took the fruit with his fingers. Instead
of just eating it, he swiped it across Vince’s lips, laughing at
Vince’s expression. The man looked torn between being
affronted and amused.

Still grinning, Rob gave Vince what was supposed to be a

quick kiss. Vince’s lips were sweet and sticky, and he found
himself lingering, drawing out the kiss until they both groaned.

Then a little voice in his head reminded him they were

supposed to be doing dinner and a movie, not each other. Yet.

supposed to be doing dinner and a movie, not each other. Yet.
He broke away, trying to calm his pounding heart and act
normal. “You want me to put in the DVD?”

Vince’s cheeks were red, and he was breathing fast, but he

nodded.

Rob stood and went to the kitchen to get the movie,

grateful for the chance to compose himself. He found the disc on
the counter, and inserted it into the DVD player. By the time he
reached the couch again, Vince had dimmed the lights and turned
the TV on. Vince cleared his throat. “What movie are we
watching?”

“It’s called Shelter. I’ve heard good things about it.”

About half an hour in, Rob scooted closer to Vince on the

couch. “Is this okay?”

Vince gave him a soft smile and put an arm around his

shoulder, drawing him even closer. “It’s very okay.”

With a happy sigh, he snuggled into Vince’s side. He

savored the subtle scents of spicy cologne and warm man. After
a few minutes, Vince’s fingers started stroking his arm in an
almost absent fashion, as if the man wasn’t aware of what he
was doing.

The two men kissing and touching on screen made him

almost painfully aware of Vince sitting next to him, and the light
touches on his arm. A few times, during the hottest scenes,
Vince’s arm tightened around him, and once Vince nuzzled
against his hair. The arousal he’d managed to hold down flared

against his hair. The arousal he’d managed to hold down flared
up until he wanted nothing more than to push Vince down on the
couch and kiss him senseless. Only his promise to take it slow
held him back.

When the movie reached its happy conclusion, Rob

expected Vince to want to discuss the movie or something—
anything to dispel the tension in the room. Rather than shutting
the DVD player off and turning the lights on, however, Vince
turned to him, an intent look in his light eyes.

His heart pounding, Rob looked right back. Vince didn’t

smile, didn’t speak. He leaned down and took Rob’s mouth in a
sudden kiss.

Rob opened to him with a moan. Their tongues tangled,

slick and hot. Vince moved against him, and Rob let himself be
pushed down onto his back on the cushions. The press of
Vince’s weight above him was unbearably arousing. The feel of
one of Vince’s hands sliding along his shoulder and arms made
him shiver.

Finally, Vince broke the kiss and laid his head on Rob’s

shoulder, panting. Rob reached a hand up and stroked the soft,
dark hair, lingering on the silver at the temples. “Sorry,” Vince
whispered against his neck. “I didn’t mean to do that. I hope you
know I’m not trying to be a tease.”

Rob kissed the top of Vince’s head. “I know. I’m the one

who came up with the bright idea of taking it slow. Besides, I
happen to think you’re worth waiting for.”

Vince laughed quietly. “I hope that’s true.”

Vince laughed quietly. “I hope that’s true.”

Rob laughed with him. “I know it is.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Vince met his gaze. “I’m not

ready for you to go yet.” He bit his lip, an expression that made
him look much younger than his years. “And I don’t really want
to stop.”

“Me neither,” Rob confessed.

“It’s been such a long time. I didn’t realize how much I

missed being close to someone like this.” Vince glanced away,
his cheeks coloring. “Does that sound stupid?”

“Not at all. It sounds human.”

Vince smiled, a shy little lift of his lips. “You’ll stay a while

longer, then?”

As if he could have resisted. Rob grinned and kissed the

corner of Vince’s mouth. “Definitely.” There were a lot of things
they could do without breaking their agreement, and Rob found
himself eager to try a few. Feeling bold, he asked, “Did you ever
make out in your room at home, or in a dorm room, where
someone could come in at any moment?”

Vince’s brows drew together. “I wouldn’t have dared to at

home. I had a few close calls in college, though, when
roommates came home unexpectedly. Why?”

“Let’s play a game.”

“What kind of game?” The suspicion in Vince’s expression

deepened.

Rob gave him what he hoped was a sexy grin. “Your

roommate’s on the way home. We only have a few minutes
before he gets back, but we’re so into each other we don’t
care.”

“What?”

Further explanation would only make the scenario cheesy.

Rob would have to show Vince what he meant. He reached up
and pulled Vince down into another kiss—a little sloppy, a lot
desperate. Sliding his hands down, he grasped Vince’s hips.
Vince didn’t resist. He made a sound of pure need and shifted
against Rob. They were both hard, and the heat of Vince’s
erection radiated through the layers of clothing they wore,
kindling Rob’s desire to a fever pitch. He held on to Vince and
ground their bodies together, imagining someone on the other
side of the door, about to barge in.

Vince pressed down against him. At first he seemed to be

making a conscious effort to keep his volume low, but that didn’t
last. He grabbed Rob’s head and mashed his mouth to Rob’s, a
soft sound of want escaping him.

Encouraged, Rob shifted his hands from Vince’s hips to his

ass. He grabbed a handful of nicely rounded cheek and
squeezed. There was nothing quiet about the sound Vince made
in reaction. It was a full-on moan.

Still holding on to Vince’s ass, Rob teased Vince’s tongue

with his own, twining them together. Vince tried to return the
favor, but he seemed to be losing focus. Rob moved in for the

favor, but he seemed to be losing focus. Rob moved in for the
kill. He slid one hand around to brush his fingers over Vince’s
thigh, grazing his erection.

Vince’s entire body tensed. He seemed to be fighting to

hold himself back, but at the same time he kept grinding against
Rob like his life depended on it.

“Go ahead. Let it go,” Rob murmured against his lips.

Vince shuddered and let Rob guide his hips in a few more

thrusts before he collapsed onto Rob’s chest, panting. He stayed
there for several ragged breaths before he found his voice. “I
can’t believe we just did that.” He sounded embarrassed, yet
turned on. “I haven’t gone off like that since I was a teenager.”

Rob rubbed his hands over Vince’s back. He had to fight

to get his own breathing under control. Watching Vince lose
control had nearly made him lose his own. “It was hot.”

For some reason, that made Vince chuckle. “I’m glad you

thought so.” He paused. “I’m not sure what it says about me that
the idea of being caught was arousing.”

“It was for me too. And I think it says you can let loose and

have fun. That’s a good thing, right?” Rob watched Vince
carefully, waiting for signs of discomfort.

“Maybe I’m not so dull after all.” Vince smiled. He shifted,

and Rob could see the instant he noticed Rob’s erection,
because he frowned. “You didn’t—”

“That’s okay.” And it was. Desire still throbbed through his

veins, but Rob knew his limits. If they kept going, he would be

veins, but Rob knew his limits. If they kept going, he would be
tempted to take it beyond the point of no return. Vince wasn’t
ready for more, and Rob didn’t want to jump into sex that Vince
might end up regretting. “Your roommate will be here any
second.”

Vince laughed. “I can see things with you won’t be boring.”

“I had a really good time tonight.”

“Me too.”

“Kiss me good night?”

Vince lowered his head and kissed him again, a sweet,

gentle press of lips. One kiss melted into several before Rob got
the willpower to stop. This time he broke the kiss, and they sat
up.

Never one for beating around the bush, Rob came right out

with what he wanted. “I want to see you again. Preferably soon.”

“I’d like that.” Vince opened a drawer in the end table

beside the couch, reaching inside to grab something. It was a
business card. He flipped it over and scribbled some numbers on
the back. “Here are my home and cell phone numbers.”

“Can I borrow your pen?” Rob wrote his own number on

another of Vince’s business cards. “I’ve got the championships
in New York starting on Wednesday, so I’ll be out of town all
week. Can we get together when I get back?”

“I’m counting on it.”

Rob stole one last, quick kiss. “I’ll see you soon, Vince.”

The smile Vince gave him made him feel like he could jump

The smile Vince gave him made him feel like he could jump

tall buildings.

Chapter Ten

“Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path

of joy.”

—Sarah Ban Breathnach

Vince was in the middle of an incredible dream when the

slamming of a nearby door woke him. He groaned as the scene
involving himself and Rob on the couch vanished. The reality of
being in bed alone with a dream-induced erection was
disappointing at best.

He sighed and started to get up, but paused. The remnants

of the dream called to him, leaving his body clamoring for
release. For the first time in a long time, he wanted to do
something rather than just letting his arousal subside on its own.
Closing his eyes, he imagined Rob next to him in bed. The hand
he slid down his chest became Rob’s. When his palm grazed the
hardness tenting his sleep pants, he moaned at the jolt of
sensation.

Impatient now, he pushed his pants and boxers down over

his hips. Eyes still closed, he ghosted his fingertips over his bare
cock, letting his mind fill in the details.

Rob teased him with a few more featherlight touches,

laughing when he growled in frustration. “You want more?”

laughing when he growled in frustration. “You want more?”

“You know I do.”

“Your wish is my command.” The grip on his erection

went from teasing to firm instantly. Rob stroked him from
base to tip, adding a little twist at the head.

Gasping, he threw his head back. “God, that’s so

good.”

Rob’s slim, strong hand continued to work him with

hard strokes, keeping him on the edge. He couldn’t help
thrusting into the hand gripping him. It had been a long time
for him—he wouldn’t last long.

“I’m close.”

“Come for me, Vince.” As he spoke, Rob cupped

Vince’s sac with his free hand, massaging his balls.

His orgasm boiled through his veins, drawing him tight

as a bowstring. “Rob!” He cried out in a strangled voice,
hot ropes of semen coating his chest and stomach. The
pleasure seemed to go on and on, but finally he fell back to
the bed, panting, spent.

Awed by both the pleasure of his release and the vivid

intensity of his imaginings, Vince didn’t move for several minutes.
His body hummed with the aftereffects of his orgasm, while his
mind whirled with a mixture of confusion and… Was that
happiness he felt? How sad to think he’d been coasting along on
mere contentment for such a long time he almost couldn’t
recognize happiness when he felt it.

recognize happiness when he felt it.

He said the words aloud, testing them. “I’m happy.”

Then the absurdity of lying in bed half-naked and covered

in his own semen hit him, and he laughed. If Rob were here to
laugh with him, it would have been perfect.

* * * *

The sky had begun to darken by the time Vince returned to

the apartment building after his run, refreshed and pleasantly
tired.

He walked into the vestibule at a brisk pace, planning to go

straight upstairs, but the open doorway of the laundry room
distracted him. He peeked in on his way past. Inside, seated at
the tiny plastic table in the corner, was Rob.

He smiled at the sight of the younger man hunched over a

thick textbook, his head in his hands, an expression of intense
concentration on his face. Vince didn’t want to interrupt Rob’s
studying, but he couldn’t seem to make himself walk away. This
could be their last chance to see each other before spending a
week hundreds of miles apart.

Hoping his intrusion wouldn’t annoy Rob, Vince went into

the laundry room. He didn’t speak until he neared the tiny,
rickety table. “Finally getting to that laundry?”

Rob’s scowl of concentration disappeared, replaced by a

brilliant smile. “Hey, Vince. I’ve been thinking about you all
day.”

day.”

“You have?” The words warmed him more than he would

have thought possible.

Rob nodded. “I was wishing I could see you, but I figured

we were both too busy.”

Feeling a bit guilty, Vince looked down at the big textbook.

“I’m sorry if I interrupted your studying. You must have a lot to
do before you leave.”

“I’m pretty well caught up. I’m really glad you came in.”

Rob gave him another of those sweet smiles.

“I am too.” Encouraged, he dared to reach out and brush

his fingers along the top of the hand nearest to him. Rob turned
his hand over, catching Vince’s fingertips. Even such a small,
innocent touch made his chest tighten.

A sudden surge of courage made him grasp Rob’s hand

and pull the younger man up from his chair. Rob’s eyes widened
with surprise. Rather than explaining his unexpected move, Vince
kissed Rob’s open mouth. Rob melted against him, kissing him
back. The instant, passionate response made his insecurities
seem silly and unimportant. He smiled against Rob’s lips, happy
all over again.

When he drew back at last, Rob gave him a quizzical look.

“What was that for?”

He shrugged, still smiling. “I just thought you might need

something to remind you of me while you’re gone all week.”

Wrapping his arms around Vince’s waist, Rob hugged him

Wrapping his arms around Vince’s waist, Rob hugged him

tight. “Is it weird that I think I’m really going to miss you?”

“If it is, we’re both weird. I’m going to miss you too.”

Rob laid his head on Vince’s shoulder. “I’ll come and see

you as soon as I get back.”

Vince said nothing. Instead he concentrated on the warm

firmness of the man in his arms, breathing in the soft scents of
some kind of fresh, citrusy shampoo and Rob himself.

After several minutes, he sighed. “I should let you finish

your laundry and studying.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Rob drew back and gave Vince a quick

kiss. “Good night, Vince.”

“Good night.”

* * * *

As Vince had predicted, he didn’t get to see Rob again

before he left for New York. He had a full schedule of classes
on Monday and several meetings to attend. He imagined Rob
was equally busy preparing for his trip. By the time he got home
Monday evening, he was tired enough not to think too much
about Rob. He ate dinner, graded a few papers, and went to
bed early.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed in much the same, if less

busy, fashion. He went to work, taught his classes, graded
papers, and came home. His routine was the same as always, yet
he felt different. He missed Rob.

On Wednesday evening, his phone chimed, signaling he’d

On Wednesday evening, his phone chimed, signaling he’d

received some kind of message. Looking at the display, he saw
Rob’s name and the text icon. Curious, he opened it.

The short message read: Miss u.

If the warmth that spread through him at the two-word

message was disproportionate to its significance, he didn’t care.
Rob missed him. He could feel himself grinning like a fool, glad
no one else was around to see.

Despite his extreme dislike of text messaging, he texted

back: I miss you too. He could have saved time by sending
something like Miss u 2, but even in his sappy state he refused to
use poor grammar.

Thursday evening, the phone rang. He answered without

looking at the display. “Hello?”

“Vince, it’s Rob.”

At the sound of the younger man’s voice, his heart beat a

little faster. “Rob, hello. How’s the meet going?”

“Pretty good so far. I got twelfth in the 100 free. My relay

team took second. I don’t dive until Friday.”

Rob sounded tired but pleased. Vince smiled. “It sounds

like you’re doing well.”

“I guess so. My mom and dad are acting like I’m Michael

Phelps or something.” Rob laughed.

Vince heard the love behind his joking tone and marveled

at it. His own parents had always been cold, distant people. And

at it. His own parents had always been cold, distant people. And
that was before he told them he was gay. He’d thought his
mother’s death might soften his father’s stance toward him, but it
hadn’t. “Do your parents know?”

“About what? Me being gay?”

“Yes.”

“Sure. I told them a long time ago. They’re cool with it.”

Vince’s own parents could hardly have been less “cool”

with his gayness. He was glad Rob hadn’t had to go through
what he had when he came out. “That’s good.”

“My parents are awesome.” Rob paused for a moment.

“How’s your week going?”

“I’ve gone to work and graded a lot of papers. Nothing

exciting.”

“No hot dates while I’ve been gone?”

Was there a thread of actual worry in Rob’s voice? “The

men aren’t exactly lined up at my door, you know.”

“I don’t see how they aren’t.”

Vince laughed. “I don’t think you have anything to worry

about on that front.”

“Good.” Rob sighed. “It’s getting late and I have to be up

early. I guess I’d better let you go.”

The reluctance in Rob’s voice warmed him. “All right.

Good night, Rob.”

“Good night. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Good night. I’ll see you in a few days.”

When Vince hung up the phone, he couldn’t stop smiling.

* * * *

By Sunday afternoon, Vince was both bored and lonely. In

the past couple of years he’d grown used to being alone. Now,
after only a few days of having someone in his life, he’d
somehow lost the protective shell he’d built. It was
disconcerting, to say the least.

At lunch with Ed, his friend remarked on his restlessness.

“You’ve been different all week. Are you all right?”

He shrugged off Ed’s concern. “I’m fine.”

“Are you really?” The other man paused for a moment,

considering. “If you’re lonely, I could set you up again. I know
the first time didn’t work out, but—”

He cut his well-meaning friend off hastily. “No! Thank you

for offering, but, well, I’m sort of seeing someone.”

Ed’s salt-and-pepper eyebrows shot up. “You are? Since

when? Do I know him?”

“Since a few days ago. And no, you don’t know him.” He

hadn’t meant to say anything. Now he was stuck. He hoped Ed
would let the whole thing go.

“What’s his name? What does he do? And why haven’t I

met him?”

Vince had to laugh at the barrage of questions. “His name is

Rob. He’s out of town this week.” Maybe his friend wouldn’t

Rob. He’s out of town this week.” Maybe his friend wouldn’t
notice he hadn’t answered the second question.

“How did you meet this guy? And you didn’t tell me what

he does.”

A mixture of exasperation and annoyance made him frown.

“Are you my mother now?”

Ed’s eyes widened. He looked astonished and maybe a bit

hurt. “I’m sorry if I’m being too nosy. You haven’t dated in
years. I can’t help being curious about the man you’d choose
after all this time.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.

It’s just that Rob and I haven’t discussed our relationship yet. I
don’t want to go around telling everyone.”

Ed rolled his eyes in a surprisingly teenager-like fashion.

“I’m not ‘everyone.’ You know I’ll keep anything you tell me in
confidence.”

That was true enough. And Vince did want to tell someone.

“Rob is a neighbor. I met him a few months ago. He doesn’t
have a job right now. He’s a student.”

“A student? How old is this Rob?”

“He’s twenty-one.”

“Twenty-one?” His friend’s voice rose. People at other

tables turned to stare at them. Noticing them, Ed lowered his
voice. “What are you doing, Vince? At least tell me he doesn’t
go to Washington University. He’s not one of your students, is
he?”

he?”

“Of course not! Do you really think I’d do something like

that?”

“No,” Ed retorted, “but I didn’t think you would date a kid

less than half your age either.”

Vince stood, angry. “I thought you of all people would at

least listen before you judged. I see I was wrong.”

Ed held up a hand. “You’re right, I’m being judgmental.

I’m surprised. Wouldn’t you be, in my place?”

He thought of his friend, a confirmed bachelor, telling him

he was dating a twenty-one-year-old woman. He sat again. “I
suppose I would be.”

“Tell me about this guy. Help me understand what you see

in him.”

He told Ed about his initial attraction to Rob, and how he

had thought it wouldn’t go anywhere. He talked about their chats
in the hall, and the trip to the coffee shop. He even told Ed about
some of the more recent events, although he left out quite a few
details. His friend didn’t need to know everything.

When he finished, they sat in silence. After a few minutes,

Ed spoke. “If this guy makes you happy, I’m happy for you. Just
be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you hurt.”

He met Ed’s eyes. “I didn’t plan this. I’ve had the same

thoughts you’re having over and over for the past few months.
But I think I’ve made the right decision.”

Ed smiled. “Good. Now I can stop looking for dates for

Ed smiled. “Good. Now I can stop looking for dates for

you.”

* * * *

On Sunday evening, Vince heard a knock on his door. Rob

had said he’d come by when he got back. Could it be him?
Vince’s heart leaped at the thought.

Rob stood in the doorway, looking exhausted but hopeful.

“Hey. Sorry for coming by so late, but I wanted to see you
tonight.”

A rush of joy filled him. “I’m glad you did. Come in.” He

shut the door and ushered Rob toward the sofa. “Would you like
something to drink?”

Rob sat. “No, thanks.”

His host duties done, Vince sat as well, near the other man.

“How did the diving go?”

Rob’s whole face lit up. “I won! You should have seen my

last dive. I was trying for a high degree of difficulty, but I’ve had
trouble with the execution before. I was really nervous. Then I
got up there and dived, and I knew I’d nailed it.”

“You won? That’s wonderful!” Pride and happiness had

him sweeping Rob into a tight hug.

Rob returned the embrace wholeheartedly. “Thanks. The

entire SLU team did well. It was fun, but I’m tired. And I missed
you like crazy.”

“I missed you too.” He rested his cheek on Rob’s hair.

“I missed you too.” He rested his cheek on Rob’s hair.

Rob smelled like shampoo and a little like chlorine.

“I guess I’d better go home,” Rob muttered against his

chest, voice reluctant. “I’m going to fall asleep on you.”

Vince laughed softly. “We can’t have that.”

Rob sat up, stretching and yawning. “Want to get together

next weekend, when I’m caught up on work and sleep?”

He grinned. “Do birds fly? I’d love to.”

After Rob left, he thought about Ed’s warning to be careful.

It was easy to throw caution to the wind when he and Rob were
together. He’d acted like a teenager on the couch after they
watched the movie. He hadn’t come in his pants in close to thirty
years. Not that he regretted a second of their time together. He
hadn’t felt so alive, so wanted, in too long.

Fortunately Rob hadn’t pushed for more than making out,

and he still seemed okay with their arrangement. If they kept
taking things slowly, getting to know each other as they had
been, everything would be fine. Ed had nothing to worry about,
and neither did he. He hoped.

Chapter Eleven

“There is only one success: to be able to spend your life

in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening
claims upon it.”

—Christopher Darlington Morley

—Christopher Darlington Morley

On Saturday they went to a murder-mystery dinner theater.

It was held in a historic mansion that had been built in the 1860s.
Many of the family members who lived there had died
mysteriously or killed themselves, giving the place the reputation
of being haunted. The history of the building only made the place
more intriguing in Rob’s mind.

Inside the mansion, Rob looked around at the period

furnishings. “Wow. This place is really cool.”

Vince, who had already been to a dinner theater on several

occasions, grinned. He didn’t make fun of Rob’s enthusiasm,
though. He just said, “Very cool.”

The hostess smiled at them. “Hello, gentlemen. What name

is your reservation under?”

Vince stepped up to her. “Vince Norton.”

She peered down at the reservation book in front of her.

“Ah, here we are. You’ll be at table nine.” She handed them
each an envelope. “Your roles and lines are inside. Enjoy your
evening.”

Rob tore open his envelope, scanning the paper inside.

“I’m Herbert Lewis, a millionaire who made my fortune in shady
business deals.”

Vince opened his as well. “I’m Brock Ashton, a dimwitted

athlete.”

Rob snickered. “Do you want to switch, Dr. Norton?”

Vince rolled his eyes. “Hush, you.”

Rob might have said something else, but they reached the

dining room. The room had been divided into two seating areas,
each able to seat about twenty people. The tables were all
marked, so they found their table easily. A family of five was
already seated at one end.

Vince nodded at them. “Hello.”

They all nodded or smiled back. The man at the head of the

table wore a button with the words “Kiss me, it’s my birthday!”
printed on it. Rob grinned at him. “Happy birthday.”

The man looked down at the button and sighed, and then

he gave Rob a wry smile. “Thank you.”

Rob and Vince sat on one side of the table. A few minutes

later, a couple in their early thirties took the seats across from
them.

The woman smiled at them. “Hi. I’m Nina, aka Selena

Lewis, and this is Rick, who didn’t want any lines.”

Vince raised an eyebrow. “Lewis? Wasn’t that your last

name, Rob?”

Rob looked at his slip again. “Yeah, I’m Herbert Lewis.

You must be my wife.” He fake-leered at Nina, who giggled.

“I don’t think I could be your trophy wife, honey. I’ve got

at least ten years on you. You can be my trophy husband
instead.”

They all laughed.

They all laughed.

Before Rob could say anything else, waiters started

bringing out food. The steak, vegetables, and baked potatoes
were good, and conversation lagged while everyone ate. Rob
used some of the time to skim over the small playbill they’d been
given listing the names of the six actors and actresses who would
move the mystery forward in between guests’ lines.

Right after the waiters cleared dessert, a delicious

chocolate mousse, the mystery began. An actor in period dress
ran in, crying out that Mr. Dylan was dead, shot twice in the
chest.

Several actors and guests proclaimed their innocence. An

actor playing a policeman arrived a few minutes later, carrying a
notepad and scowling. “I’ve looked at the body and determined
Mr. Dylan was killed within the past few minutes. That means
almost any of you here at the party could have killed him.”

The birthday guy at their table spoke up. “Well, it wasn’t

me. I had no motive.”

Nina was next. “Except for the fact that he left you money

in his will, you mean.”

A woman at another table gasped and pretended to faint.

The action came fast and furious after that. One actor in
particular, the one playing Thomas Jackson, raised Rob’s
suspicions. He’d never considered himself much of a detective,
but he had a hunch the guy was guilty. The man had motive and
opportunity, and the means as well since his family owned a gun
factory. On top of that, he didn’t seem to want to cooperate with

factory. On top of that, he didn’t seem to want to cooperate with
the investigation.

The policeman interrogated several of the actors and

actresses and people at different tables before he stopped at
Rob and Vince’s. He glared down at them. “What about you,
Mr. Ashton? You were angry with Mr. Dylan because he
wouldn’t let you marry his daughter.”

Vince cleared his throat and looked at his paper. “It

couldn’t have been me. I hurt my hand in a tennis match, so I
can’t even hold a gun.”

The policeman rounded on Rob. “And you, Mr. Lewis. He

refused to sell his business to you.”

Rob scowled. “And now that he’s dead, I still won’t get the

business. His son will.”

Nina chimed in. “My husband would never stoop to

murder.”

The actor didn’t appear convinced. “Oh really? People

who don’t do what he wants seem to turn up dead a lot.”

Getting into his role, Rob sneered. “It isn’t my fault they

have bad luck.”

Next to him, Vince snickered. The actor moved on to

another table, and more clues came out. Rob scribbled
everything down with the stub of a pencil an actress had passed
out earlier.

At the last table, the policeman rubbed his chin. “I know

who the killer is, but do you? I will reveal the solution in ten

who the killer is, but do you? I will reveal the solution in ten
minutes. You have five minutes to write down your guess and
turn it in to a waitress, and then all will be revealed.”

Rob picked up one of the solution sheets from the table and

circled Thomas Jackson, the character he’d initially been
suspicious of. The promised ten minutes passed, and then the
policeman stood in the center of the room. “The killer is Thomas
Jackson! Mr. Jackson, you are under arrest for the murder of
Alonzo Dylan.”

“Thomas Jackson” glared at the policeman and the

audience. “I had to kill him! He was going to take over my
family’s factory. I couldn’t let him do that.”

“Save your story for the judge.” The policeman handcuffed

the other actor and dragged him out of the room.

Rob pumped his fist. “Ha! I knew it.”

Vince smiled. “Excellent deduction, Sherlock. I thought the

disgruntled ex-servant was the killer. It’s always the butler,
right?”

Rob had heard people say the butler was always guilty

before, but he wasn’t sure why. Was it something from an old
movie? Not wanting to let on that he didn’t quite get the joke, he
smiled.

“Well, I thought it was you.” Nina pointed across the table

at Rob. “You were at the scene of the crime, and you had
motive.”

Everyone laughed.

Everyone laughed.

“I am a pretty shady character,” Rob agreed. “But it wasn’t

me. Now, if this were real life…” He waggled his eyebrows in a
comically sinister way.

The waiters chose that moment to draw the names of a few

of the people who’d guessed the killer correctly. Rob bounced in
his seat like a little kid when he heard his name. Their waiter
handed him a coffee mug emblazoned with the mansion’s logo
and a drawing of the building.

“Check this out.” He turned to show the mug to Vince,

who was watching him, a warm smile on his face.

“Congratulations. You’ll have to start drinking coffee now,

since your swimming season is over.”

He grimaced. “Ugh, no thanks. I love the smell of coffee,

but it tastes awful. I’ll stick to hot cocoa.”

The woman from the family at the other end of the table

was looking at them. She had a sort of sappy expression. Rob
wondered what she was thinking. Then everybody started getting
up to leave, so he put the thought aside and followed the crowd.

He and Vince were a few feet behind her as she turned to

her husband and said, “Isn’t it sweet to see a father and son
coming to one of these dinners together?”

He cringed. Part of him wanted to correct her, but it

wouldn’t be worth the time. They would never see her again.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Vince’s expression
wavering between amused and horrified. Knowing how self-

wavering between amused and horrified. Knowing how self-
conscious Vince was about their age gap, he set a quick pace
out of the building and to the parking lot.

Once they were on the road, Vince spoke. “She thought I

was your father.”

“We know you’re not. Do you really care what other

people think?” He didn’t ask the question lightly—a lot
depended on Vince’s answer.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I tell myself I don’t, but if I’m

being honest, I have to admit it’s hard not to care. She was only
thinking what I’ve thought myself. I am old enough to be your
father.”

Rob sighed. “If we’re going to do this, we can’t always be

worrying what other people are going to think. They’ll think what
they want, no matter what we do.” Without taking his eyes off
the road, he laid his right hand, palm up, on Vince’s knee. “I was
upset at first when I found out Cody thought you were too old
for me. The thing is, I think us being together is right. I’m not
letting somebody’s disapproval get in the way of that.”

Vince grasped his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“But…” There was a long pause. “What if your parents don’t
approve? Then what?”

He could feel how important this was to Vince. He

considered his answer, determined to be honest and clear. “I
would be upset. I love my parents and value their opinions. In
the end, though, it’s my choice, not theirs. If talking to them,

the end, though, it’s my choice, not theirs. If talking to them,
explaining how I felt, didn’t help, I’d keep seeing you anyway. I
don’t want you to think I’d be trying to rebel against them or
whatever. I’m an adult, and I’m going to do what makes me
happy.”

Another long, oppressive silence filled the car. Vince

seemed to be mulling his words over. The lack of response made
Rob nervous, but he tried not to fidget. Vince needed to make
his own decision about whether or not their relationship should
continue.

After what felt like an eternity, Vince squeezed Rob’s hand.

“How did you get to be so wise?”

He shrugged. “I was just born that way, I guess.”

He could hear the smile in Vince’s voice as he replied.

“You’re right. We both need to do what makes us happy. And
you make me happier than I’ve been in a very long time.”

Relief burst over Rob, sharp and sweet. “I’m glad.”

Although he hadn’t meant to bring the topic up in the car, a
question popped out anyway. “So are we, like, officially together
now?”

The words hung between them. Did I just say “like?”

Wonderful. Could I sound any more like a teenager? Rob’s
cheeks burned, and he knew he must be blushing. The way he
was acting would definitely not impress Vince with his wit and
maturity.

Laughing quietly, Vince squeezed his hand again. “If by

‘officially together’ you mean, do I want us to see each other and

‘officially together’ you mean, do I want us to see each other and
no one else, the answer is yes.”

“Age difference and all?” he pressed.

Vince nodded.

Yes!

Inside, he was pumping his fist and jumping up and down,

but he just smiled. This time he would play it cool. “Good.”

Rob’s attempt to play it cool didn’t last long. Rather than

simply holding his hand, Vince was doing things with his thumb.
Rob’s growing arousal ratcheted up several notches when Vince
caressed the sensitive skin of his palm and wrist with his thumb.
Rob shivered.

Vince chuckled. “Am I bothering you?”

“No.”

Vince lifted Rob’s hand to his mouth. At first he only

pressed little kisses against it. He murmured, “What about now?”
as Rob pulled into the apartment’s parking lot and parked the
car. Then he teased Rob’s index finger with his tongue.

Rob whimpered, closing his eyes. “Vince.” His whole body

came alive at the sensation of Vince’s tongue against his skin.

Pulling his hand away, he put the car into park and shut off

the engine. More than anything, he wanted to go up to Vince’s
apartment. Was this Vince’s way of saying it was time to stop
taking things slowly? There was only one way to find out. He
turned back to Vince.

turned back to Vince.

Before he could say anything, Vince spoke. “I know it’s

late, but would you like to come over for a while?”

He couldn’t seem to get his mouth to form words. Instead

he nodded. They got out of the car and hurried to the vestibule.
If he hadn’t been so turned on, he might have laughed at their
haste. They practically ran up the stairs. Vince unlocked his
door, and they entered in silence, Rob pausing to place his mug
carefully on the kitchen countertop.

The instant Vince turned back toward him, Rob pounced.

Their near-matching heights made things easier. He just yanked
Vince to him and covered the older man’s mouth with his own.

Vince groaned against his lips and kissed him back. It

wasn’t a gentle kiss. It was all tongues and a hint of teeth, hard
and full of pent-up desire. He held the back of Vince’s head with
one hand to keep their contact, while Vince ran both hands up
under his sweater.

The touch of those warm, slightly calloused hands against

the smooth skin of his back made him want even more. He
mirrored Vince’s move, tugging Vince’s shirt free from his slacks
with his free hand. He explored Vince’s back, stroking his
fingertips over warm, sleek skin.

Vince let his head fall back, breaking the kiss. “Rob.”

The perfect column of Vince’s throat called to him. Rob

turned his attention to the sensitive skin there, dropping
openmouthed kisses from Vince’s jaw down to the collar of his
shirt.

shirt.

That seemed to energize Vince. He took Rob’s mouth in

another deep, almost desperate kiss. He didn’t back off until
they were both breathless.

They stared at each other, each breathing heavily. Vince

had never looked more attractive than he did at that moment,
with his cheeks flushed, his lips puffy, and his hair rumpled. Rob
wanted to tear off all his clothes, yet at the same time he wanted
to hold him and protect him. He’d never felt anything similar
before, but somehow he wasn’t scared at all. There was a sense
of rightness about the moment that filled him with certainty. It
also allowed him to put aside his desire a little to make sure
Vince felt the same.

He ran a hand through his hair and took a calming breath.

“This is putting a huge strain on my willpower. If you think we’re
going too fast, better tell me now.”

Vince held out his hand. “I think we’ve taken it slow long

enough, don’t you?”

Rob took the offered hand and let Vince lead him out of the

room.

Chapter Twelve

“There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety

always goes with it.”

—Ovid

—Ovid

Leading Rob down the hall to his bedroom, Vince tried to

stifle a sudden attack of nerves. He’d been celibate for three
years. That was a long time. Could he make this good for Rob?
And what would Rob think of his almost forty-six-year-old
body?

When they reached his room, he paused for a moment,

wondering whether or not to turn on the light. His inner debate
was abruptly cut off. As soon as they were through the doorway,
Rob kissed him again, busy hands going to work on his shirt
buttons. Shrugging off the lighting issue, he tugged Rob’s sweater
up. They had to break apart long enough for him to yank the
garment over Rob’s head.

The body revealed was a work of art. Broad shoulders and

a wide, strong, hairless chest tapered down to a flat stomach.
Awed, Vince reached out to touch, watching, fascinated, as the
muscles moved under the skin.

“You’re incredible.”

Rob ducked his head, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

“It’s the swimming.”

No matter what it was, it was sexy. Vince teased a nipple

with his fingertip, making the tiny nub tighten. Rob hissed.

In retaliation, Rob finished unbuttoning Vince’s shirt and

pushed the soft cotton over his shoulders. The garment fell to the
floor. Vince’s nerves surged full-force. He stood anxiously in the
dim light, knowing he was nowhere near Rob’s league physically.

dim light, knowing he was nowhere near Rob’s league physically.
He tried to keep himself in decent shape, but his stomach wasn’t
as flat as it used to be, and he’d been finding more and more
gray in his chest hair over the past couple of years.

Rob’s eyes showed only appreciation and desire. “I knew

you’d look good under all those conservative clothes, but I had
no idea how good.”

Now it was Vince’s turn to blush. Maybe Rob couldn’t see

him in the dark. “I look like what I am, a middle-aged man.”

In a flash, Rob closed the small distance between them.

“You’re exactly what I want. Now strip.”

Vince laughed. He unfastened his slacks and pushed them

down over his hips, along with his boxers. Rob did the same.
There was no awkward standing around naked. The ice had
been broken by Rob’s order. By unspoken agreement, they
went to the bed. Rob waited while Vince pulled the comforter
and top sheet down, and they climbed in.

Vince took a brief moment to gaze at Rob, the only man

who’d ever been in this bed with him. Something about that
simple fact warmed him. He reached out to cup the back of
Rob’s neck, drawing him in for a brief kiss.

“What do you like?”

Rob grinned. “Just about everything I’ve tried, and

probably a lot I haven’t. I’m easy.”

Rob’s answer made him laugh again. “I was trying to ask if

you’d like to bottom or top. I can do either, but I admit I prefer

you’d like to bottom or top. I can do either, but I admit I prefer
to top.”

Rob gave him a smoldering look. “Good. I want you in

me.”

Vince drew Rob into his arms. Their mouths and bodies

met at the same time. Two sets of hands set to work, exploring
and mapping warm, bare skin. Vince moaned when Rob ghosted
his fingertips over the spot on his hip that sent sparks of arousal
all through him. Rob squirmed when Vince smoothed his hands
over his chest.

Wanting Rob to come first, Vince broke the kiss. Without

warning, he moved down Rob’s body and latched on to a
nipple, continuing to tease the other one with his fingers.

“Vince, God, that’s—” Rob choked out.

Vince bit down lightly. An inarticulate cry—pleasure, not

pain—greeted the action. Encouraged, he continued to lick and
suckle the little brown bud. He kept going until Rob was writhing
beneath him.

Finally he moved farther down, where Rob’s erection

stood straight out from his body, clearly wanting attention. He
was just the man to give it. Keeping his eyes on Rob’s face, he
took Rob’s cock into his mouth, savoring the musky scent of
arousal and the nearly forgotten tastes of clean skin and salty-
bitter precum.

Rob sucked in a sharp breath, watching Vince with

something close to awe. “Don’t stop.”

something close to awe. “Don’t stop.”

Stopping was the last thing on Vince’s mind. All he wanted

to do was give Rob as much pleasure as possible. He started out
slow, lapping at the head and the very top of the shaft, not taking
much in. To add more sensation, he wrapped his hand around
the base of Rob’s erection, matching the movements of his
mouth to his hand’s stroking.

“More. Please.”

At Rob’s plea, he redoubled his efforts, teasing Rob’s balls

with his free hand. He traced tiny patterns on his skin with his
fingertips, then rolled his sac gently. Letting the sounds Rob
made guide him, he slid his fingers along his perineum, closer and
closer to Rob’s entrance. When he brushed the hole itself, Rob
let out a ragged cry and came.

Vince swallowed and kept sucking until Rob was

completely spent. After releasing the softening erection, he rested
his head on Rob’s thigh. His own body clamored for release, but
he was content to wait for a few minutes.

Rob reached down to pet his hair in silent appreciation.

Neither of them said anything for a while. Then Rob’s cock
twitched, trying to fill again.

This was obviously one of the pluses to having a much

younger lover. Vince grinned and peered up at Rob. “Again?
You’re going to wear this old man out.”

Rob smirked. “We haven’t even started yet, old man. I

believe it’s your turn?”

believe it’s your turn?”

“I believe you’re right.” Vince moved back up the bed to

lie beside Rob. “Roll over.”

Raising an eyebrow, Rob did as he was told, getting up on

his hands and knees. “Yes, sir!”

Vince smacked his butt hard enough to sting a little. “Brat.”

Undaunted, the younger man wiggled his ass, taunting.

“You like it.”

“I do,” he agreed. “But you’re talking too much.”

The best way to quiet Rob would be to get him too

aroused to talk. It didn’t take Vince long to think of the perfect
way to do just that. Grasping the taut globes of Rob’s ass in his
hands, he spread them apart. Then he leaned down and ran his
tongue between them, barely grazing Rob’s hole.

Rob tensed. “Vince!”

Vince did it again. This time, he went slower, tracing

around the edges of the tiny, puckered opening. Rob shoved
back toward him, making desperate little mewling sounds.
Taking pity on him, Vince pushed his tongue inside Rob’s body.

The sound Rob made was almost like a sob. “Oh fuck,

please.”

He’d never heard Rob curse. Pleased at the sign Rob had

lost control, Vince continued to tease his entrance with his
tongue, adding a spit-moistened finger. By the time he added a
second finger, Rob had lost any semblance of coherence.

With his free hand, Vince managed to fumble for the top

With his free hand, Vince managed to fumble for the top

drawer of his nightstand. He got the drawer open after a couple
of tries and fished out a tube of lubricant. He had a moment of
panic when he thought of condoms, but then he remembered the
five-condom sample pack Ed had given him a couple of weeks
ago. Although he’d been embarrassed at the time, now he was
grateful for Ed’s foresight. His floundering hand finally got one of
the condoms torn off the strip, and he was ready.

The snap of the tube’s cap opening got Rob’s attention. He

lifted his head and turned a wild-eyed gaze on Vince. “Now?
Please?”

Vince smiled. “Yes, now.”

Rob sighed. “Thank God.”

The eagerness was flattering. He sheathed himself in latex

and poured a generous amount of lube into his palm. Quickly he
slicked himself and pushed two well-lubricated fingers into Rob.
Rob’s body took the fingers easily, so he pulled them out and
replaced them with his erection.

Not coming within the first minute proved to be difficult.

The hot, tight grip of Rob’s ass on his cock felt incredible. Vince
closed his eyes, breathing deeply and concentrating on holding
back his climax.

Rob’s wiggling didn’t help. Vince slapped his butt. “Be

still.”

“God, that’s hot. Do it again,” Rob muttered.

Vince grinned and smacked him again, grateful for the

Vince grinned and smacked him again, grateful for the

distraction. His arousal subsided just enough for him to be able
to thrust the rest of the way in. “This is going to be quick.”

“S’okay. Just do me.” Rob shoved back to meet his next

thrust, and they were off.

The hot friction of each thrust tightened his balls, warning

him his orgasm was imminent. He moved faster, fucking Rob
deep and hard. Rob took what he gave and cried out for more.

When he knew he couldn’t hold back any longer, he

reached around to bring Rob off with him. One touch sent Rob
over the edge, spurting all over his stomach and the sheets.

Vince cried out as Rob’s body clamped down on him. He

came in a rush of white-hot feeling.

Several minutes passed before he could gather the

presence of mind to pull out carefully to take care of the
condom. When he came back to the bed, Rob was blotting
ineffectually at the sheets with some tissues.

Rob looked over at Vince and grinned. “Not bad, for an

old guy.”

He laughed. “For that, you’re sleeping on the wet spot.”

His grin not wavering in the slightest, Rob flopped down on

the bed. “If I get to sleep with you, I don’t mind.”

* * * *

The next morning, a soft rustling sound dragged Vince out

of a deep sleep. He opened his eyes, the bright light making him

of a deep sleep. He opened his eyes, the bright light making him
blink. He looked around in confusion.

“Good morning.”

Rob. He smiled at the younger man, who was about

halfway down the bed, lying on his side, propped up on one
elbow. “Good morning. What are you doing down there?”

“Let me show you.”

Without giving him a chance to think, Rob leaned down and

nuzzled his cock. He yelped.

Rob snickered, eying Vince’s rising erection. “Someone’s

glad to see me this morning.”

“Don’t make me spank you again,” he joked.

Rob’s dark eyes took on a wicked glint. “You say that like

it’s a threat.”

Vince went from half hard to fully hard in about two

seconds. Whether his arousal was from Rob’s expression or his
words was debatable, but he didn’t care to examine the reason.
Rob’s hot mouth took his erection in, and his brain shut down.

If watching his cock disappear between Rob’s lips was

incredible, what Rob did next blew his mind. Head bobbing,
fondling Vince’s balls with one hand, Rob reached down and
grasped his own erection with his free hand. He stroked himself,
keeping his hand and mouth in sync.

Vince stared down at him, speechless. Then Rob tensed

and came, his teeth grazing Vince as ropes of white shot onto the
sheets and Vince’s leg. His own orgasm hit him unexpectedly,

sheets and Vince’s leg. His own orgasm hit him unexpectedly,
wrenching a ragged cry from his throat.

Letting his head fall back, he stared at the ceiling. “I think

that might have been the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

After a few seconds, Rob appeared in his field of vision.

He was smiling. “I try.”

“Come here.” He pulled Rob on top of him and kissed him.

The kiss was sweet, tender, without the wildness of the previous
night. He liked knowing they could have both.

Rob broke the kiss and snuggled up against him. He

smelled like fabric softener, sex, and Vince’s new favorite scent
—the shampoo/man/chlorine blend that was uniquely Rob. “If I
didn’t have so much homework, I’d stay here in bed all day,
with you.”

The thought was tempting. Vince trailed his fingers over

Rob’s shoulder, enjoying the feel of his lover’s skin. “If I didn’t
have paperwork to do and lectures to plan, I’d take you up on
that.”

Rob sighed. “Stupid real life. I guess I’d better get up and

get back to it.”

“I suppose we both should.”

Neither of them moved. Rob nuzzled his chest. “We’re

going to do this again soon, right?”

You have to ask? He peered down at Rob’s face. The

younger man was smirking up at him. He laughed. “Brat.”

Chapter Thirteen

“Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.”

—Mark Twain

Rob felt like dancing, or maybe bursting into song, as he

walked across the hall to his apartment. His hair looked like he’d
slept in a briar patch, and he wore last night’s rumpled clothes,
but he couldn’t have been happier.

Whistling tunelessly, he unlocked the door and let himself

into the apartment. Dustin sat at the tiny kitchen table, eating.
From his zombie-like stare, he must have just gotten up.

He quirked an eyebrow at Rob. “Dude. Where’ve you

been? Wait, let me guess.”

Rob grinned. “You do that. I’m going to eat.” He poured a

big bowl of cereal and a bunch of milk and took the bowl to the
table.

Dustin scowled. “Oh man! Life’s so unfair. You got laid last

night, and I had to play video games at home because Cathy’s
parents are in town.”

“Aw, I’m so sad for you. Especially after all those times

you pointed out that you were getting laid regularly and I
wasn’t.”

His best friend adopted a wounded air. “That’s cold, dude.

Real cold.”

Real cold.”

“Yeah, you’re really hurt. I can tell.” Rolling his eyes, he ate

a big spoonful of his breakfast. He was suddenly ravenous.

Glancing around dramatically as if to make sure they

wouldn’t be overheard, Dustin leaned forward. “So, how was it?
Is Dr. N awesome in bed, or what?”

He smiled. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah.

Awesome doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

His friend hooted. “Ooh! That’s even more unfair.”

“Yeah, well. Not everyone can be as lucky as I am.” He

shrugged, grinning.

Dustin scowled, feigning anger, and flicked a piece of

cereal at him. Rob ignored it. Nothing could get him down this
morning.

* * * *

Rob’s elation carried him through a busy, tedious week. He

spent all day Friday on campus, first in class and later at the
library. By the time he got home, he was exhausted, but he
wanted to see Vince badly enough not to care. They were
supposed to go see some play being put on at Wash U. After the
week he’d had, he wasn’t looking forward to sitting through a
play, but he put on a pair of slacks and a nice shirt anyway. He’d
take a trip to the moon if Vince wanted him to.

A couple of minutes later, he knocked on Vince’s door. He

heard Vince call, “Come in,” so he obeyed. Vince was coming
from the bedroom as he walked in.

from the bedroom as he walked in.

Their eyes met, and Vince’s lips turned up in an almost shy

smile. “Hi.”

Rob took in the pale blue shirt and charcoal slacks Vince

wore. The shirt matched Vince’s eyes. “Hi yourself. You look
great.”

“Thank you.” Vince crossed the distance between them,

coming to a stop inches away. His brow wrinkled slightly as he
studied Rob. “You look tired.”

Rob might have been insulted if he hadn’t known it was true

—he knew he looked pretty close to as bad as he felt. “I am.
It’s been a rough week.”

Vince nodded, seeming to come to a decision. “Let’s skip

the play and stay in.”

Not wanting to ruin the evening Vince had planned, he

shook his head. “We don’t have to do that. You went to a lot of
trouble to make plans for us. I don’t mind seeing the play.”

Vince put a finger to Rob’s lips, shushing him. “I know you

don’t mind, and I appreciate that, but I can see how tired you
are. I’m tired too. The only thing I really wanted to do tonight
was spend time with you. I can do that here just as well as at a
play. Maybe better.”

“True.” Grinning, he unfastened the top button of his shirt,

then his cuffs, and rolled his sleeves up. If they were staying in,
he wanted to be comfortable.

Vince gave him an amused look. “Shall I call and have

something delivered?”

The loud growl his stomach made answered the question.

Vince went to make the call.

* * * *

“Rob.”

A gentle nudge woke him from a light doze. Confused, he

opened his eyes and blinked in the dim light. Seconds passed
before he realized he was at Vince’s, on the couch. He
remembered them stretching out to watch TV. He’d been half-
lying on Vince, his head pillowed on Vince’s chest…and
apparently he’d fallen asleep. Great. He hoped Vince didn’t
think he was bored. Embarrassed, he risked a glance up.

Vince was looking down at him, a soft smile on his face.

“Welcome back, sleepyhead.”

He grimaced. “Jeez, I’m sorry. I must have been more tired

than I thought.”

The arm around his chest squeezed him in a half hug. “I

won’t hold it against you if you want to go home and get some
rest. I can take a rain check.”

Vince’s words underscored how different he was from the

other men Rob had dated. In his experience, guys his age were
all about sex. They wouldn’t have been content with cuddling on
the couch. None of his previous boyfriends had even liked
cuddling after sex. The memory of one guy gathering up Rob’s

cuddling after sex. The memory of one guy gathering up Rob’s
clothes for him and telling him to drive safely—about five minutes
after they’d slept together—flitted through his mind. Vince would
never treat him that way.

His thoughts turned to the previous weekend. Just thinking

of the things Vince had done to him made him a lot less tired and
a lot more turned on. If he had the choice between going home
to sleep and staying here for a repeat performance, there was no
way he was going home. He met Vince’s eyes. “I was kind of
hoping I could sleep here, with you.”

“Just sleep?”

The teasing tone made him grin. “Eventually.”

Vince laughed. “Let’s go to bed.”

They stood, each stretching. Vince turned off the television,

casting the room into near-darkness. Together, they went down
the hallway to Vince’s room, lit only by the muted, orangey glow
of the parking lot lights through the blinds.

In silence, they stripped off their clothes and climbed into

bed. Vince reached for him, hands running over him with an
unexpected gentleness. Their lips met in a whisper-soft kiss. The
wild urgency of last week was gone, replaced by something
infinitely sweeter.

There was no rush to get to the finale. Vince pressed his

lips to Rob’s neck, making him shiver. Rob explored Vince’s
chest and shoulders with his fingertips, then followed the trail he
had taken with the tip of his tongue. The salty-sweet taste of

Vince’s skin, something he’d never bothered to pay attention to
with past lovers, was addictive. The soft sounds Vince made in
response to Rob’s touch proved to be even more so. Sensations
built on each other in a slow burn until they couldn’t hold back
any longer.

When Rob lowered himself onto Vince’s waiting erection a

few minutes later, it was more than sex, at least to him. He gazed
down at the body he was beginning to know, the man he was
beginning to care for, and knew this was different from anything
he’d felt before. Even his orgasm was better for being shared
with someone special.

Afterward, when Vince drew him into an embrace and

kissed the top of his head, Rob was sure he felt the same.

* * * *

The next few weeks only added to Rob’s certainty that

their relationship was special. Saturday morning, Vince
suggested he might like to leave a few things at Vince’s
apartment for when he stayed over. He brought a toothbrush and
a few items of clothing. Seeing his things next to Vince’s didn’t
scare him at all. No matter how corny the idea was, their things
looked right together.

He felt right when they were together. Despite the insane

amount of work he had to do for school, he spent quite a bit of
time at Vince’s place. He didn’t spend the night. Several
evenings a week he came over for a few hours and did his
homework while Vince did his own work. Vince came up with

homework while Vince did his own work. Vince came up with
the idea when he dropped by one Sunday and heard Rob’s
roommates playing video games loudly while Rob was hiding in
his room trying to concentrate. The peace and quiet at Vince’s
helped him concentrate, and the companionship was nice too.

At the end of another busy week, they celebrated by going

to a St. Louis Symphony Orchestra performance. Rob had
grown up listening to classical music in the car with his dad, so he
enjoyed the concert a lot. After the show, he spent the night at
Vince’s.

The next morning, he awoke to the scents of coffee and

something sweet. He considered going back to sleep but
decided to get up and see what the smell was. Stretching and
yawning, he padded barefoot into the kitchen.

Vince stood near the stove, sorting through a stack of mail.

His reading glasses were perched on his nose, and he wore
flannel pajamas. Unlike Rob, he never walked around in his
boxers. No matter what he wore when he went to sleep—which
was often nothing when Rob was over—he always put on either
pajamas or regular clothes before he left the bedroom. Rob
thought the habit was cute. The reading glasses only added to the
appeal in his mind. Vince looked so professor-ish when he wore
them.

Keeping his steps quiet, Rob approached Vince. When he

got close, he wrapped his arms around the older man and leaned
into his back. “Good morning.”

Vince put down the mail and turned, pulling Rob closer.

“Good morning. You’re freezing.”

He grinned. “You’ll have to warm me up.”

“Hm…tempting, but you’ll have to wait until the muffins are

done.”

The mention of food distracted him a little. “Muffins? What

kind?”

“Banana-walnut.”

Rob was about to mention how much he loved banana-

walnut muffins when a bright blue envelope with a big “Happy
Birthday” sticker on it caught his eye. It was addressed to Vince.
Would Vince really let his birthday go by without even telling
him?

He gave Vince a narrow-eyed look and pointed to the

envelope. “Is it your birthday?”

Vince’s cheeks reddened. “Almost.”

He frowned. “Almost? When is it?”

“Wednesday. I’m going to be forty-six.”

Wednesday. Wait a minute … “Your birthday is April

first?”

Rolling his eyes, Vince nodded. “Go ahead, make a joke.”

He figured he was mature enough not to call Vince an April

Fool or something like that. Besides, the man had surely heard all
the jokes before. Instead he hugged his lover tight. “I’m not
going to make a joke. You’re just about the least foolish person

going to make a joke. You’re just about the least foolish person
I know. Plus, I want some muffins.”

For a long moment, Vince just stared at him. Then he

smiled. “I should have known. You only want me for my
muffins.”

He nodded, trying to keep his expression serious. “Well,

the muffins and the incredible sex.”

Vince burst out laughing.

Looking at his happy, laughing lover, Rob’s heart swelled

with joy. For the first time in his life he had exactly what he
wanted.

Chapter Fourteen

“Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.”

—Don Marquis

On Wednesday morning, Vince didn’t wake up feeling

unhappy about being another year older, or being annoyed about
having such a ridiculous birthday. On the contrary, he awoke
cheerful from an enjoyable dream, and thinking of the day ahead
with anticipation. Rob had instructed him to keep his evening free
but hadn’t told him why. He couldn’t wait to find out.

Later that morning, Vince came home from his early class

to find the message light on his answering machine blinking. He
punched Play and started to fix himself a cup of coffee.

punched Play and started to fix himself a cup of coffee.

“Mr. Norton, this is Dr. Cohen at Boone Hospital Center.

I’m calling regarding your father, Caleb Norton. Please call me
as soon as possible.” The man gave a telephone number and the
hours he could be reached, and the message ended.

A kernel of worry blossomed in Vince’s chest. He hadn’t

spoken to his father in a very long time. What could have
happened?

He picked up the phone and dialed the hospital. Vince’s

anxiety built as the phone rang and rang.

At last the doctor picked up the phone. “Dr. Cohen.”

“This is Vincent Norton. You called about my father?”

“I called you because your father has been diagnosed with

a malignant brain tumor. We’ve determined that his cancer is
inoperable.”

The carafe slipped from Vince’s nerveless fingers,

shattering in the sink. “A brain tumor? You’re sure it’s
inoperable?”

“Yes. He’s elected not to take chemotherapy or radiation,

as neither would do much to extend his life at this point.”

Stunned, horrified, yet also strangely numb, he mumbled,

“How—how long?”

The doctor’s voice became even more sympathetic. “We

can’t say for certain, but I would estimate no more than two
months, probably less.”

Vince stared down at the broken glass, wondering how he

Vince stared down at the broken glass, wondering how he

was supposed to feel. He and his father hadn’t spoken in a long
time. Even before he’d come out, the man had barely seemed
interested in his only child. After he’d come out, his father had
been contemptuous of him. Why would his father want him now?
Perhaps the doctor had gone looking for Caleb Norton’s next of
kin and found him. “He asked you to call me?”

“Yes, Mr. Norton. He specifically requested we notify

you.”

No matter what his feelings toward his father were, he

couldn’t turn away when he was needed. He swallowed hard.
“Can you tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can?”

“I’ll tell him.”

“Thank you.” Vince pushed the disconnect button and

stood there for a moment. In the face of such horrible news, it
was hard to remember what to do. He wanted to run straight
across the hall, to Rob. If he did, though, he might break down.
He forced himself to pick up the phone and call the university, to
cancel his classes and make arrangements for a leave of
absence.

* * * *

Cody answered the door, frowning. “You want to talk to

Rob?”

Vince ignored the young man’s less-than-polite greeting.

He knew Cody didn’t like him very much, or at least didn’t like
him with Rob. “If he’s here, yes.”

him with Rob. “If he’s here, yes.”

“Hold on.” Cody didn’t invite him in. He just yelled, “Rob!”

and walked off, leaving Vince standing in the doorway alone,
holding his two houseplants.

A few seconds later, Rob entered Vince’s line of vision. He

looked annoyed. “What are you yelling about?”

Cody jerked a thumb toward the doorway. “You’ve got a

visitor.” Then he left the room.

The annoyance melted from his expression as Rob turned

and saw Vince in the doorway, replaced by a smile. “Hey,
Vince. I thought you had a class right now.”

“I did. I cancelled it.”

Rob must have noticed something in Vince’s face or voice,

because his smile faded. He closed the distance between them.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

The emotion Vince had been suppressing all day came to

the surface, brought up by Rob’s concern. He bit it back,
holding out the two plants. “Can you take care of these for me
for a while?”

Rob’s eyes widened, but he took the plants. “What’s going

on?”

“I—my…” He trailed off, swallowed hard.

“Wait.” Rob put the plants on the kitchen counter and

ushered Vince across the hall. Inside Vince’s apartment, he took
Vince’s hand. “Tell me what’s happened.”

Vince’s hand. “Tell me what’s happened.”

Clinging to Rob’s hand like a lifeline, Vince let the story

spill out. “I got a call from my father’s doctor. My father has
cancer. He’s dying.”

“Oh, Vince.” Rob hugged him tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

Somehow, Vince felt as if he had become the younger one.

He felt confused and scared and small. In Rob’s arms, he was a
little less afraid. “We haven’t spoken in years. I called him after
Dean died. He was…cold. I don’t understand why he wants me
now.”

Rob didn’t answer, probably because the question was

unanswerable. Only his father could tell him. Rob must have
understood, because he held Vince close, rubbing his back and
just being there.

Vince knew he needed to get going, but he was reluctant to

give up the comfort of home and Rob for the uncertainty of a
place he hadn’t visited in more than two decades. He finally
managed to draw back.

“I have to go to the hospital in Columbia. I don’t know

how long I’ll be gone.”

Rob gave him a wobbly smile. “Be careful. And—could

you call me when you get there? Just so I know you’re okay?”

He cupped Rob’s cheek in his hand. “Of course.”

He leaned forward and kissed Rob gently. Rob wound his

arms around his neck and clung. The kiss deepened, and for just
a moment, Vince let himself get lost in it. He wished he could

a moment, Vince let himself get lost in it. He wished he could
rewind the day, never get the phone call, and stay here with Rob
rather than leaving.

It was Rob who broke the kiss. He stepped back, his eyes

suspiciously shiny. “Be careful,” he repeated. He looked as if he
wanted to say more, but he didn’t.

Vince nodded. “I’ll call you.”

Chapter Fifteen

“The great gift of human beings is that we have the power

of empathy.”

—Meryl Streep

Back at his place, Rob stared at the plants Vince had

brought over. His chest hurt, and his eyes stung. He didn’t want
to admit how close he was to tears. A few minutes ago he’d
been excited about his plans for Vince’s birthday. He’d made
reservations for dinner at a restaurant Vince had mentioned
wanting to try, and he’d managed to get tickets to a lecture by
one of Vince’s favorite authors. Now everything had changed.
Vince would be gone for who knew how long. His father was
dying. He’d looked so lost earlier, so unlike how he usually was.
And he’d spoken as if he were afraid, almost. Worry for Vince
added to the tight ball of carefully stifled emotion in Rob’s chest.

At that moment, Cody walked in. “What did he want? And

what’s up with the stupid plants?”

what’s up with the stupid plants?”

Rob bit his tongue on the angry words he wanted to say.

He muttered, “He needed me to water them for him for a while.”

Cody rolled his eyes. “Why? It’s not like he ever goes

anywhere or does anything interesting. Oh, except you, I guess.”

Cody’s words were like a punch to the gut. Rob gave up

on trying to hold back his fury. “Fuck you, Cody! He’s going out
of town for a while because his dad’s dying. But I guess it’s too
much to ask for a little understanding from someone like you.”

Shoving past his roommate, he fled to his room, slamming

the door behind him. He fell onto his bed. Angry, hurt, and
already missing Vince, he let the tears prickling behind his eyelids
come.

* * * *

A few hours later, Rob forced himself to go to campus.

Cody was gone when he left the apartment. In the quiet of the
library, he tried to concentrate on the work he needed to finish.

His phone rang about an hour after he arrived. Ignoring the

dirty looks from the librarian and other students, he hurried
outside to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Rob?” Vince’s voice sounded tired and far away.

Relieved, he leaned back against the brick wall. “Vince.

Did you make it there okay?”

“Yes, I’m here. I haven’t seen my father yet, but I suppose

“Yes, I’m here. I haven’t seen my father yet, but I suppose

that will have to wait until tomorrow. I wanted to let you know I
made it safely, like I promised.”

“Thanks.” I miss you. I hope you’re okay. He held back

the other words he wanted to say, not wanting to make Vince
feel worse. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

He snapped the phone shut and went to get his things.

Staying would be pointless. He didn’t feel much like studying.

When he got home, all three of his roommates were sitting

in the living room, eating pizza. They looked up when he entered.
Apparently Cody had told them what was going on, because Joe
and Dustin had concerned expressions on their faces.

Dustin was first to speak. “Hey, man. Everything okay?”

Dropping his backpack on the floor, he went to flop down

on the couch beside Dustin. He didn’t want them to worry about
him. After all, his only issue was missing Vince, which seemed
pretty lame in the overall scheme of things. To get the focus off
him, he brought up the real problem. “I’m fine. I’m not the one
whose dad is dying.”

“That really sucks. How’s he doing?” Joe passed him the

pizza box, his expression sympathetic.

He shrugged. “He was trying to hide it, but I think he’s

pretty upset. He said he hasn’t talked to his dad in a long time. I
guess they don’t get along or something.”

All of them got along well with their fathers—or in Rob’s

case, with his stepfather. None of them would be able to

case, with his stepfather. None of them would be able to
understand what it must be like not to talk to your dad for years.
Even considering what it would be like if his stepfather was dying
made Rob shudder.

Dustin frowned, thoughtful. “Maybe his dad wants to fix

things while he still can. Why else would he want Dr. N there?”

Rob shrugged again and stood. He grabbed a piece of

pizza and took a bite. Hefting his bag, he headed down the
hallway to his and Dustin’s room.

He’d just opened his book when he heard a soft knock on

the door. He sighed. “Come in.”

The door opened, and Cody stepped inside. “I want to

apologize for how I acted earlier. I was being a total jerk.”

He closed the book. “You’ve been acting that way ever

since Vince and I got together. What is your deal with him?”

His roommate sighed. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t really

know him that well. I’m afraid you’re going to get hurt.”

“What? Why would I get hurt?”

Cody leaned against the door frame. “Look, I know you.

You really like this guy. When you care about something, you
put your whole heart into it. Eventually the age gap is going to
tear the two of you apart.”

He couldn’t decide whether to be touched by Cody’s

concern or annoyed. He settled on a little of both. “What makes
you think that’s going to happen? I’m not a kid. Neither is Vince.
We both know what we want.”

We both know what we want.”

“Yeah, and you’re at two different stages in life. What if

he’s having a midlife crisis or something? Dating a younger guy
might be his way of getting his groove back or whatever before
he jumps back into the dating pool. Or what if he’s on the
rebound from his last relationship?”

He looked Cody straight in the eye. “I don’t think he’s

having a midlife crisis, and after three years, I doubt he’s on the
rebound. I thought about those things, and I decided he was
worth taking a chance for. If I get hurt, I get hurt. I hope that
doesn’t happen, but if it does, that’s life. He’s the one I want,
Cody. And he’s a great guy. Maybe you could try being happy
for me?”

Cody gave him a tentative smile. “Okay, you’re right.

You’re a big boy now, so I’ll try to trust your judgment. Even
though you did tell me to date that crazy girl sophomore year.”

Rob laughed. “That’s what you get for asking my advice

about women.”

Chapter Sixteen

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is

unhappy in its own way.”

—Leo Tolstoy

After a mostly sleepless night, Vince stood, bleary-eyed

and anxious, in front of the hospital. He knew he should go in,

and anxious, in front of the hospital. He knew he should go in,
but something held him back. If he were honest with himself, he
would admit it was a mixture of fear and anger. Not knowing
why his father had summoned him, or what his reception would
be, scared him. Although he and his father had been estranged
for a long time, his father’s disapproval still hurt.

Part of him wanted to walk away, to just go home without

seeing his father. That hurt, angry part of him couldn’t forget the
slights of the past. Caleb Norton had hurt him many times,
whether on purpose or through a lack of interest in his only
child’s life. And there was the last time he’d tried to call…

He wouldn’t even talk to me after Dean died, when I

was alone and angry and scared. Why should I talk to him
now?

In the end he walked through the door rather than walking

away. His father may have been cruel to him when he needed
him the most, but he refused to do the same. He would do what
he felt was right, regardless of what his father said or did.

He approached the admission desk. “I’m here to see Caleb

Norton. Can you tell me where I can find his room?”

The nurse typed a few commands into her computer. “It

looks like Mr. Norton is in the oncology ward. That’s on the
third floor. He’s in room 318.”

“Thank you.”

Vince chose to take the stairs instead of taking the elevator.

He didn’t particularly like elevators, and the stairs gave him a bit

He didn’t particularly like elevators, and the stairs gave him a bit
more time to gather his thoughts before seeing his father.

Despite his stalling tactic, he reached the third floor within a

few minutes. He found the nurses’ station for the oncology ward
easily, since it was right by the stairs.

The nurse behind the desk gave him a professional smile.

“Can I help you, sir?”

“Yes. I’m here to see Caleb Norton.”

She glanced at some paperwork sitting on the desk. “Are

you his son?”

“I’m Vince Norton, yes.”

She nodded crisply. “The doctor wanted to speak with you

when you arrived. I’ll page him now, if that’s all right.”

“Thank you.”

He stood awkwardly for a few minutes until the doctor

arrived. The doctor wore a white coat and looked to be in his
midthirties. He held out a hand for Vince to shake.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Cohen, your father’s oncologist. I

understand you’re a doctor as well?”

Vince gave Dr. Cohen a wry look. “I’m a doctor, but not

of medicine. My doctorate is in literature.”

Dr. Cohen smiled at that, but he quickly sobered. “As I

told you on the phone, your father has an inoperable brain tumor.
His wish is to go home. Right now that’s not possible. He can’t
be alone, and twenty-four-hour nurses would not be an option
for him due to the high cost. Another possibility would be for him

for him due to the high cost. Another possibility would be for him
to go to a hospice. I know of a good one not far from here that
has an opening.”

The thought of his father dying surrounded by strangers

didn’t sit well. He frowned. “Have you discussed the options
with him?”

The doctor sighed. “I have. He refused to even consider

them until he spoke with you.”

Astonished, Vince stared at the other man. He felt as if

he’d stepped into an alternate reality. What was going on? “Let
me speak to him, and I’ll see what he wants to do.”

“Let me show you to his room. If you need to speak with

me again, have one of the nurses page me.”

“Thank you.” He followed Dr. Cohen down the hall to

room 318. The doctor knocked and opened the door, stepping
inside. “Hello, Mr. Norton. You have a visitor.”

Vince’s first glimpse of his father in years shocked him. The

man he remembered as tall and stern, with dark hair and piercing
eyes, light like his own, was almost unrecognizable. In his place
was a thin, tired old man whose thick white hair stuck up in odd
spines. The once-piercing eyes were dull and pain-filled.

Caleb Norton smiled wanly when he saw the doctor.

“Visitor?”

Vince stepped into his father’s line of vision. “Hello, Dad.”

Those dull eyes widened, seeming to hold both hope and

trepidation. “Vincent? You came.”

trepidation. “Vincent? You came.”

Dr. Cohen nodded to them both and slipped out of the

room quietly.

The moment the doctor was gone, Vince turned back to

the old man on the bed. He kept his voice neutral. “You asked
me to.”

Even the cold, stern voice he remembered had changed,

become weak and thready. “Yes, but you didn’t have to come.”

True enough. In the past, he would have used this

opportunity to strike back at the person who’d hurt him more
than any other. Now, however, he didn’t need to. He moved
closer to the bed. “You’re still my father, no matter what’s
happened between us.”

His father held out a thin, shaking hand, his eyes hopeful.

Vince met him halfway, grasping the frail fingers in his own.

* * * *

The day was busy and tiring. After some discussion, Vince

made the decision to take his father home. He would be staying
at his childhood home as well. Getting his father into his car and
driving the short distance to the house was an ordeal. The man
was exhausted and in pain by the time they reached their
destination.

Two hospice nurses would be coming out to check on his

father, one each on alternating days. One of the nurses came
over when Vince and his father arrived at the house. She helped

over when Vince and his father arrived at the house. She helped
him set up a hospital bed in the living room, where his dad could
watch television and not have to climb any stairs, and she told
him about the care his father would need. Caleb Norton went to
sleep soon after she left.

Vince picked up his cell phone and dialed Rob’s number,

hoping he would still be awake. The phone rang a few times.

“Hello?”

The sound of his lover’s voice, even one word, sent a shaft

of longing through him. “Rob.”

Concern and caring colored Rob’s voice, even over the

phone. “Vince. How are you? How’s your dad?”

“I’m holding up. Dad’s doing as well as can be expected at

this point.”

He asked about Rob’s classes, and they chatted about

term papers and projects for a few minutes. He closed his eyes
to listen, letting Rob’s voice wash over him.

It was late, and they were both tired. The conversation

wore down. He dreaded the prospect of hanging up, losing the
tenuous connection with Rob. The small talk suddenly frustrated
him. “I miss you.”

There was a split second of complete silence. Then, Rob

whispered, “I miss you too. A lot.”

That night he dreamed of Rob.

* * * *

Vince slept in his old room. His parents had redecorated it

completely, making him feel like he was in a different house. For
the first few days, he awoke disoriented, wondering where he
was.

During the day, he helped his father get around the first

floor, watched television or played games with him, and read.
Sometimes they would talk. His dad liked to talk about Vince’s
mom, who’d died twelve years earlier. They also talked about
Vince’s childhood. They hadn’t gotten around to discussing their
estrangement, or his father’s change of heart, but Vince knew
they would eventually.

One night, Vince and his father were eating soup and grilled

cheese sandwiches when his father suddenly put his sandwich
down. “I’m sorry about what I said, after your Dean died.” His
voice was gruff and low.

Vince set his spoon aside. He gripped the edge of the table

until his knuckles turned white and took a deep breath. “The
things you said that day really hurt me.”

His father met his eyes. “I know. I’m sorry about that too.”

Vince couldn’t read his father’s expression. Was that

genuine regret? Making an effort, he unclenched his hands from
the table and forced a smile. They finished eating in silence.

After dinner, his father went to bed. He went upstairs to his

bedroom and called Rob as soon as he was sure his dad was
resting comfortably.

Rob picked up on the first ring. “Vince, hi.”

Rob picked up on the first ring. “Vince, hi.”

He sat on the edge of the bed, already feeling better just

hearing Rob’s voice. “Hi yourself. How are you?”

“I’m good. Just working on some papers. How are you?”

He kicked off his shoes and lay back on the mattress. “I’m

all right, I guess.”

“Really?”

“I’m bored. And Dad sleeps a lot. I get lonely.” He

paused, trying to think of how to get back to a more pleasant
topic. “Dad and I talked about some things earlier. It was nice.”

“I’m glad.”

They were both silent for a long moment. He cleared his

throat. “What else have you been up to, besides homework?”

Rob’s voice grew more animated. “I’ve been filling out

paperwork and paying all my graduation fees. I can’t believe I’m
going to be graduating in a few weeks. My parents and all the
kids are coming. I’d really like you to be there too, if you can.”

Vince frowned at the thought of meeting Rob’s family.

What if they didn’t approve of him? And who would? He was
twenty-five years older than Rob. What parents would want that
for their son? “What will your parents think?”

“About you? I’m sure they’ll like you.”

Vince wasn’t so certain. Other fears preyed on his mind as

well. What if he got sick when he was old, and Rob had to take
care of him? Granted, his father was forty years older than him

care of him? Granted, his father was forty years older than him
rather than twenty-five, but it could happen. He sighed. “They’ll
probably think the same thing I’ve been thinking. That I’m too
old for you.”

“I thought we’d been through this. You’re not too old for

me.” Rob sounded confused, and upset, and Vince didn’t blame
him. They had been through this, but that was before his father
had gotten sick.

He wanted to argue, to spill out his fears, but he didn’t.

“I’m tired, and I’m sure you are too. I’ve got to go.”

Rob started to protest, but he cut him off. “Good night.”

He hung up the phone. For several minutes, he stared at it.

It didn’t ring, and he was grateful. He closed his eyes, trying not
to think of his kind, caring lover devoting years to being his
nursemaid when he got old and sick. He never wanted to make
Rob sad or tie him down.

Vince put his arm over his face. In his weaker and more

worn-down moments, he even worried Rob would meet
someone else while he was away. He trusted the younger man,
but Rob had to be as lonely as he was. Being surrounded by
men his own age, who were available and had less emotional
baggage, might tempt even the most devoted lover.

Rob had graduation to look forward to and a lot of

coursework still to finish. Vince didn’t want to distract him or
worry him. The next night, he didn’t call.

He told himself Rob would prefer it that way.

Chapter Seventeen

“In order for people to be happy, sometimes they have

to take risks. It’s true these risks can put them in danger of
being hurt.”

—Meg Cabot

Holding his cell phone to his ear, Rob sank down onto his

bed. “So we’ll be going to Aunt Joan’s the Sunday after
graduation?”

He could almost hear his mom nodding, the way she did

when she was agreeing, even over the phone, when the person
she spoke to couldn’t see her. “Her house is the closest and the
biggest. The whole family will be there to celebrate. And I have
good news. Your cousin Amanda is going to come to
graduation. She just found out she would be able to get the day
off.”

Exhausted, he let himself fall onto his back. Graduation was

less than two weeks away. He’d had his last class this morning.
Now all he wanted to do was sleep. Unfortunately he still had
finals to take. At least his favorite cousin would be at the
ceremony. The news cheered him up a bit. “I’m glad you guys
are coming.”

“Of course we’re coming! We’re all so proud of you. Your

brothers and sisters are very excited about watching you

brothers and sisters are very excited about watching you
graduate.”

“You’ll make the little monsters behave, right?” He grinned,

thinking of his four brothers and sisters.

His little brothers, Jackson and Jaden, were twins. At ten,

they still thought he was cool. Anytime he came home, they
followed him around. His sisters, Bella and Kylie, were seven
and five. He loved all his siblings to pieces. They were great
kids. His being eleven to sixteen years older than each of them
probably helped. He hadn’t had to deal with sibling rivalry or
anything. His mom and stepdad had met when he was three and
married when he was five, and then he’d had them all to himself
for six years before the twins were born.

His mom laughed. “You know very well the kids will

behave. They adore you.” She paused for a moment. “Will we
get to meet the boy you’re dating?”

Rob cringed, glad his mom wasn’t with him in person.

She’d see right through him to the part that was worried sick
about Vince. “Mom, he’s not a boy. And I don’t know. He’s
still staying with his dad. He might not make it back in time.”

Or want to come, if he does. Rob had noticed Vince’s

reluctance concerning graduation. He’d tried to chalk it up to
Vince’s exhaustion and his uncertainty about his father’s health,
but that was getting harder to do. Vince hadn’t called him in two
weeks, and when he called Vince, his lover barely spoke. At this
point, he couldn’t be sure if Vince was busy or just didn’t want
to talk to him. He hated the thought of Vince being alone and

to talk to him. He hated the thought of Vince being alone and
sad. If he could, he’d drop everything and go to him. But what
if he doesn’t want me there? The thought made his heart ache.

His mom sighed. “That poor man. I hope he’s remembering

to take care of himself while he takes care of his father.”

“I do too, Mom. I do too.”

* * * *

That night, he picked up his phone and dialed Vince’s

number, hating the sick, nervous feeling in his stomach as he did
so. Part of him was afraid Vince wouldn’t answer, or wouldn’t
want to speak to him if he did. The rest of him was worried
Vince wasn’t taking care of himself.

Several rings later, Vince answered. “Hello, Rob.”

He closed his eyes, relief filling him. “Hey, Vince. I hadn’t

heard from you in a while, so I wanted to make sure you were
okay.”

There was a slight pause. “I’m fine.”

Yeah, right. Vince sounded anything but fine. Rob couldn’t

let the polite social lie pass. “You don’t sound fine. Do you want
to talk about it?”

Vince laughed—an unpleasant, almost pained sound. Then

he was silent again. Finally, he said, “I don’t know.”

The raw, uncertain sound of Vince’s voice raked at his

heart. In all the times they’d talked on the phone over the past
few weeks, he’d never heard Vince sound defeated or

few weeks, he’d never heard Vince sound defeated or
despairing. Until now. “Vince. Talk to me.”

“I’m not sure I can. I’m not sure I have the words.”

The roiling mix of fear, sadness, and apprehension filling

him made it hard to speak, but he forced the words out. “Please
try.”

Vince sighed wearily. “You’ve got finals coming up, and

graduation. I haven’t wanted to burden you.”

“I want you to share things with me, Vince. Especially the

bad things. If we’re part of each other’s lives, we need to be
there for each other. Graduation isn’t as important to me as you
are.”

“I’m not sure that’s the way it should be.”

Surprised, he blurted, “What? Of course that’s how it

should be!”

Vince’s voice hardened. “You haven’t spent the past few

weeks taking care of a dying old man. You don’t know what it
could be like for you in twenty or thirty years, when I get sick
and you have to devote months or years to caring for me like I
was a baby. I don’t want that for you, Rob, and neither should
you.”

Taken aback by the coldness and anger in Vince’s voice,

and the harsh words, Rob couldn’t speak for a long moment. It
was at least a full minute before he was able to speak again.
“You’re trying to make decisions for me, based on things that
may not ever happen. What if Dean hadn’t died in that accident?

What if he’d lived but been paralyzed? Would you have left
him?”

“No, never.” Vince sounded horrified at the thought.

“Why not?”

“Because I loved him.”

Rob took a deep breath. “Exactly. When you care about

someone, you don’t leave them. Not even if things get hard.
Someday you might get sick. Or I might. I could have a diving
accident and be paralyzed. Either one of us might die tomorrow.
Am I scared? Sure. I’m terrified right now. That’s part of life. I
refuse to let fear of the future rule my life. If you don’t want to
take the risk with me, I’ll understand.”

“I need to think.” Vince’s voice held too many emotions for

Rob to decipher them.

Rob squeezed his eyes shut. The words seemed like a

good-bye. The pain he felt at the thought made it hard to
breathe. “Okay. Bye, Vince.”

He snapped the phone closed and stared at it for a

moment. Then he hurled it against the wall as hard as he could.
The case shattered, sending pieces of black plastic flying in all
directions. It didn’t make him feel better.

Someone knocked on the door. “Rob? You okay?”

Ignoring Joe’s concern, he rolled over to face the wall. “I’m

fine. Just…go away. Please.”

* * * *

* * * *

On Saturday afternoon, Rob’s stepdad came to take him

shopping for a suit for graduation, a trip they’d planned months
ago.

Rob was quiet during the ride to the store. He answered

questions but didn’t do much to keep a conversation going.
Although he knew he should be excited about graduating in a
few days, he was having a hard time keeping his mind off what
had happened with Vince. He cares about me. I know he does.
Is he really willing to throw that away because of something
that may never happen? Why won’t he at least call to let me
know he’s okay?

“Is something wrong, Rob? You’re so quiet.”

He smiled a little at the observation. He had to admit, being

quiet was unusual. “I’m fine, Dad. I was just thinking.”

His stepfather didn’t appear convinced. “Are you sure?

You seem down lately.”

“Maybe I am, a little. Graduating is a big change. It’s a new

beginning. And in a way, it’s an ending too.” Which was true, if
not relevant to his mood.

“I guess it is.”

They were silent for a couple of minutes.

“Will we get to meet the young man you’ve been seeing?

You haven’t talked much about him lately.”

Rob looked out the window to hide his emotions. “I don’t

Rob looked out the window to hide his emotions. “I don’t

think he’s going to be able to make it.”

That, at least, was true.

Chapter Eighteen

“If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give

love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be
empty, our loss greater.”

—Anonymous

Vince helped his father sit up by raising the hospital bed

and propping him up on the pillows. “Is that okay, Dad?”

“It’s good. Thank you.” When his father was seated

comfortably—or as comfortably as he could be, anyway—he
turned to Vince.

His eyes clear and sharp for the first time in days, he asked,

“You have a good life, don’t you, Son?”

Vince nodded. He did have a good life, for the most part.

Or at least he had, when he’d had Rob.

His father got a faraway look on his face for a moment.

“Your mother was a good woman. She made me happy for a
long time, or as happy as a man like I was could be. I wish I’d
told her more often.” He was silent for a moment before he
refocused on Vince. “Your Dean, the one you lost, you loved
each other? Made each other happy?”

Vince nodded again, glad time and new experiences had

Vince nodded again, glad time and new experiences had

dulled the ache of losing Dean enough that he could think of the
good times without feeling quite so sad.

“I’m glad.” Narrowing his eyes slightly, his father peered at

him. “What about now? Have you got anyone you care about?”

He thought of Rob. Despite what he’d said, he still wanted

to be with the younger man. He still cared about him. “I did, for
a while.”

He never would have thought his father’s eyes could be

compassionate, but they were right then. “What happened?”

“I said some things I didn’t mean the last time we talked. I

suppose I was trying to drive him away, because I thought he’d
be better off without me.” The whole idea seemed rather idiotic
now, especially after what Rob had said about people who care
about each other staying together through everything.

Caleb reached for his hand and grasped it tightly. For the

first time he could remember, he saw tears in his father’s eyes.
“Then you need to make things right. Life is better when you
have people to love. I lost more than twenty years with you
because of my own stubborn pride and foolish prejudice. Don’t
wait like I did, until it’s too late.”

His father and Rob were both right. He’d made a terrible

mistake. As soon as he could, he would tell Rob that, in person.
After all the things he’d said and done, Rob might not be willing
to listen, but he knew he had to try.

* * * *

* * * *

The next morning, his father died. Vince, unwilling to leave

his father alone, called the nurse from the other room. After
checking his vital signs, the nurse said he was gone.

The next few days passed in a haze of paperwork,

planning, and a strange numbness that wouldn’t go away. He
made funeral arrangements for Wednesday afternoon. His
father’s lawyer came over to explain the will to him. Vince was
the sole beneficiary, so it was up to him to deal with the house
and its contents. Photo albums and a few mementos went into a
box to keep. Other items he tagged for sale or charity donation.
The house itself he would clean up and sell. He couldn’t live
hours away from the university.

Many times he wanted to pick up the phone and call Rob.

He knew Rob had finals, however, and if he called, Rob might
want be here. He didn’t want to make Rob choose between a
final, which he needed to take to graduate, and coming to a
funeral.

At the funeral, Vince met several of his father’s friends. He

was shocked to learn that his father had told them a great deal
about him. Nobody mentioned his sexuality. Vince might have
been angry about that in the past, seen it as a slight, but not
anymore. Now he figured that his father would have seen that as
too personal to share. They did know he was a college
professor, and they all told Vince how proud Caleb had been of
him.

Thursday night, he finished closing up the house. After a

restless night, he got a late start the next morning. He loaded up
his car with his suitcase and the box of photographs and things
and started driving. He made a stop at the realtor’s office, and
the realtor promised to keep him posted regarding the house’s
prospects. Then he set off for home.

Hours later he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment

building. After so long, everything looked odd, foreign. He felt
strange and out of place as he lugged his belongings up the stairs
and let himself into his apartment. His home smelled musty and
abandoned. His eyes strayed to the windowsill where his plants
had been, and he wondered how they’d fared in his absence.
Better than he had, probably. With Rob to take care of them,
they were probably flourishing.

While he unpacked, he looked around his room, waiting for

the peaceful home feeling to come back. It didn’t. All he felt was
tired and alone. He put the last few items of clothing away, and
then he crawled into bed. He clutched one of the pillows Rob
had used weeks ago to his chest, imagining he could still smell a
hint of chlorine and shampoo.

Chapter Nineteen

“’Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive.”

—John Sheffield

Late Saturday afternoon, Rob, Dustin, Cody, and Joe piled

into Joe’s SUV, all dressed up and carrying their caps and
gowns. The day they’d worked for had finally arrived.

Rob tried to follow their conversation and be excited about

graduation. It was hard, though, when he still hadn’t heard from
Vince. He told himself to let go. Obviously Vince was busy with
his dad, and he probably didn’t have the energy to deal with
breaking up. Rob couldn’t really blame him for that. The man
had enough on his plate right now, and his love life should be the
least of his worries. Rob wasn’t even angry. He was just hurt,
and sad, and tired of worrying. Above all, he was praying Vince
was doing all right and taking care of himself.

He shook his head at his gloomy thoughts. This was

supposed to be a happy day. His family would be here, and
tomorrow was his graduation party. He would try to have fun
and appreciate what his family was doing for him. The rest of his
life would be sorted out soon enough. With the outcome he was
expecting, he wasn’t in any hurry.

At Chaifetz Arena, he and his roommates found their

disciplines and lined up. He listened to the excited chatter of the
other Exercise Science majors without trying to join in. One of
his classmates nudged him.

“We made it!”

He forced a smile. “Yeah, we did. That last final had me

worried, though.”

The guy laughed. “Me too.”

The guy laughed. “Me too.”

The music started then, and the different groups of students

began to file into the arena. Rob trudged along in line, not
stopping until he reached his seat. He zoned out while speakers
droned on and students’ names were called. He roused himself
enough to cheer when he heard his roommates’ names.

Finally, it was his turn. “Robert Anthony Bridges.”

He headed for the stage, a bit of pride rising at last. He

took the folder with his degree and shook hands with the
presenter. As he walked across the stage, he heard wild cheers.
He peered up into the crowd and easily spotted the twins, who
were waving signs that said GO ROB! Dustin’s family sat next to
his.

His gaze wandered to the right a few rows, and his heart

lurched. There, not far from his parents, sat Vince. He sucked in
a breath, his steps faltering. Vince had come.

* * * *

Rob’s heart pounded as he and Dustin left the mob scene

at the arena floor and climbed the stairs. He saw his family stand,
waiting for him. For a second, he almost ran to them.

“Can you tell my family I’ll be there in a minute?”

“What—oh.”

Rob noticed the direction of Dustin’s glance and nodded.

“Yeah.”

“No problem. Good luck.”

“No problem. Good luck.”

I’ll need it. Heart in his throat, Rob walked toward Vince,

who stood as he approached. “You came.”

Vince gave him a hesitant smile. “Of course.”

“Your dad?”

“He died last weekend.”

Rob flinched. “Oh. Wow. I’m sorry.”

Vince

inclined

his

head,

acknowledging

Rob’s

condolences. “He’s not in pain anymore. And we got a lot of
time to talk. I’m grateful for that.”

“I’m glad.” Rob looked away, his voice lowering. “Why

did you come, Vince?”

Vince raked a hand through his hair. “I came because I

couldn’t not come. You were right. My father said something
similar to me right before he died.” He paused for a moment and
took a deep breath. “Taking care of Dad was…hard. Very hard.
I was tired, and lonely, and seeing him that way hurt and scared
me. I didn’t want to think of you someday going through the
same thing I had to.”

Rob met Vince’s eyes again, anguished. “Why didn’t you

talk to me about how you were feeling? I wanted to help. You
could have called me. I wanted you to call me.”

“I know. I should have. I’ve been so used to being alone

the past few years, and all I could think of was not dragging you
down with me. I didn’t want to admit I needed you.” He
hunched like he expected to be shot down.

hunched like he expected to be shot down.

Rob almost couldn’t get the words out. “You needed me?”

“I needed you then, and I need you now.” Vince took a

deep breath and touched Rob’s arm. “I love you.”

He didn’t move his gaze from Vince’s, sure he couldn’t

have heard what he thought he’d heard. It must have been his
wishful thinking. “Wh-what did you say?”

Vince’s hand trailed down his arm and found his, twining

their fingers together. “I said I love you.”

Rob stood, silent and shocked, for a long moment.

Rob could read the certainty on Vince’s face, in his eyes.

The hurt and anger he’d been carrying fell away like weights,
leaving him free and light.

He smiled, squeezing Vince’s hand. “I love you too.”

Vince’s answering smile was the brightest Rob had ever

seen on him. He raised Rob’s hand to his lips and kissed the
knuckles. “You don’t know how happy that makes me.”

“I think I have an idea.” Rob felt the same joy himself.

The feeling of being watched distracted him from their

reunion. He raised an eyebrow. “Just how many of my family
members are staring at me?”

Laughing, Vince shrugged. “All of them, and half of

Dustin’s if the red hair is any indication.”

Rob sighed. “Great. I’d better go talk to them before they

start freaking out.” A little bit of insecurity returned. “Will you

start freaking out.” A little bit of insecurity returned. “Will you
come and meet them?”

“I’ll have to eventually, I suppose. I might as well meet

them now.” Vince looked nervous again. “What have you told
them about me?”

“Not much,” he admitted. “All they know is we’ve been

dating, and your dad was sick.” He suddenly wished he’d
prepared his family a little more for the age difference between
him and Vince.

“Hm.” Vince’s nervous expression didn’t ease.

Gripping Vince’s hand tighter, Rob led him toward his

family. Jackson and Jaden were play fighting with Dustin. His
parents, his cousin Amanda, and his sisters, Bella and Kylie,
were watching him and Vince approach.

Vince hung back as they stopped in front of his parents.

Rob made introductions. “Mom and Dad, this is my boyfriend,
Dr. Vincent Norton. Vince, these are my parents, Kathleen and
Donald Mabry.”

Both his parents looked a little surprised, but they smiled.

His dad held out a hand. “Nice to meet you, Vince.”

Vince shook his dad’s hand and then his mom’s, saying the

proper pleasantries. Rob’s dad asked about Vince’s father, and
both his parents offered condolences when Vince told them he
had died. His mom, especially, since her own father, Rob’s
grandpa, had died a few years ago.

With Vince occupied, Rob turned to Amanda, who’d been

With Vince occupied, Rob turned to Amanda, who’d been

waiting patiently beside his parents. She looked a lot like his
mom and her mom, Aunt Joan, who were sisters. He and
Amanda had been just about inseparable as kids, and he
couldn’t have been happier to see her. “Amanda.” He enfolded
her in a hug. “I’m glad you came.”

Amanda hugged him back. “I wouldn’t have missed it,

cuz.” She stepped back and met his gaze. Her smile faded,
replaced by a pinched expression he had never seen on her
before. Keeping her voice low, she said, “This is the guy you’re
dating?”

“Yes.” Rob felt his own smile faltering. “Why?”

“Don’t you think he’s a little old for you?”

Taken aback, Rob stared at his cousin. He’d expected

disapproval from some older relatives, but not Amanda. They’d
always supported each other. “No, actually. Not that it’s any of
your business.”

“I guess that’s true.” The look Amanda gave him was hurt.

“I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t care about you.”

“I know.” Rob took a deep breath and tried to push down

his defensive anger. “I understand where you’re coming from,
but Vince cares about me too. Give him a chance, Amanda-
panda.”

The childhood nickname made her smile, but she still

looked concerned.

A small hand tugging at his robe drew his attention away

A small hand tugging at his robe drew his attention away

from his cousin. Five-year-old Kylie was peering up at him, her
blue eyes wide. She whispered, “That man is your boyfriend,
Robby?”

He nodded. “Yeah, he is. What do you think of that,

munchkin?”

She gave him a sweet smile and peeked up at Vince from

underneath her pale blonde bangs. “He looks nice.”

He tweaked her nose. “He is nice.”

Bella joined the conversation. “I think he’s handsome. He

looks like a king.”

“Not a prince?” he joked.

His serious little sister shook her head solemnly, making her

dark blonde hair swish. “No. Princes are for silly old fairy tales.
Kings are way better.”

Hearing his own opinion put into little-girl speak made him

smile. “I think so too.”

* * * *

They were silent during the walk to Vince’s car, each lost in

his own thoughts. Once they were inside, headed home, Vince
spoke. “The last time I talked to my father, I told him about you
and how I’d tried to drive you away. He said something I’ll
never forget: ‘Life is better when you have people to love.’ I’d
been thinking a lot about what you said to me on the phone,
about not letting fear rule your life, and his words drove the point
home. Too many of my decisions in the past year have been

home. Too many of my decisions in the past year have been
based on fear.”

“I can’t imagine what it was like, seeing your dad dying and

not being able to help him. I understand why you were scared. If
we’re going to be together, though, you can’t shut me out like
you did. You have to let me share your burdens.”

Stopping the car at a red light, Vince turned to meet his

gaze. “I know. I wanted to, but I kept telling myself you had
your own concerns.”

He gave Vince a mock-stern stare. “From here on out,

your concerns are my concerns, and vice versa. Got it?”

Vince smiled. “Yes, sir.”

“That’s right. Don’t you forget who’s the boss here.”

When they pulled into the apartment complex and Vince

parked the car, he turned to Rob. His expression was almost
shy. “I know you have to be tired, but would you like to come
over for a while? I don’t want you to go yet.”

All the longing Rob had been trying not to feel came

flooding back. He wanted to be with Vince more than he wanted
his next breath. “I don’t want to go either.”

Vince took his hand as they entered the vestibule, and they

walked up the stairs hand in hand. Vince released his hand to
unlock the apartment door. Rob followed him in, noticing the
closed-up, musty smell right away. It reminded him how long
Vince had been gone and how much he’d missed him.

Seemingly reading his mind, Vince pulled Rob into a tight

Seemingly reading his mind, Vince pulled Rob into a tight

embrace. He rested his cheek on Rob’s hair and whispered,
“God, I missed you. I wanted to call you so many times. I wish I
had.”

Rob didn’t want to dwell on the past. He wanted to focus

on reconnecting in the present. “Shh. We’re together now, and
that’s all that matters.”

To forestall further discussion, he lifted his head and

pressed his lips to Vince’s. Vince responded with an almost
desperate passion, sliding his tongue into Rob’s mouth to tangle
with Rob’s own.

After weeks apart, it almost felt like they were kissing for

the first time. Rob took his time, relearning Vince’s taste, the soft
sounds he made, the way they fit together. One kiss melted into
another and another. Finally he drew back, breathless. “I want
you.”

Vince’s eyes darkened at his blunt statement. “Then take

me.”

Rob practically ran down the hallway to the bedroom. As

soon as they were in the doorway, he rounded on Vince. “Did I
tell you how sexy you look in this suit?”

Vince shook his head.

“Well, you do. Now take it off.”

Laughing, Vince took off his jacket. Rob attacked Vince’s

tie and shirt while Vince did the same with Rob’s. Fortunately
he’d removed his cap and gown before they got into the car. A

he’d removed his cap and gown before they got into the car. A
few awkward, clumsy minutes later, they were both naked.

Rob ran his hands over Vince greedily. Warm, smooth

skin, crisp, springy chest hair, and strong but subtle muscles
greeted his exploring hands. Somehow they fell onto the bed
together, Rob on top. He continued his exploration, enjoying the
quiet sounds his touch brought out.

Vince closed his eyes, his expression blissful. “I meant what

I said earlier. Take me.”

Does he mean…? Rob nearly swallowed his tongue at the

images Vince’s words put in his head. He’d topped a few times
in the past, but never with Vince. How much hotter would
topping be when he was topping someone he loved?

Aroused almost past the point of speech, he opened the

bedside table drawer and grabbed a condom and the bottle of
lubricant. He put the condom on, and then he handed the bottle
to Vince. “Could you—” he managed, motioning toward Vince.

Once again Vince seemed to read his mind. Smiling, he

asked, “Too close?”

Rob nodded. He was afraid if he touched Vince too much,

he’d finish before they got started. Even watching Vince prepare
himself was too much. He whimpered and closed his eyes,
shutting out the sight of Vince spread out on his back, impaled
by his own fingers. “God.”

Vince gripped his erection with slick fingers. His eyes

popped open, meeting Vince’s gaze. Those light eyes burned up

popped open, meeting Vince’s gaze. Those light eyes burned up
at him. “I’m ready.”

He didn’t ask if Vince was sure. He could read the need in

Vince’s face. Instead he let Vince’s hand guide him in.

His first impression was of unbelievable tightness, then heat.

He pushed with a slow, steady press, Vince’s body opening to
welcome him. He stopped for a moment to give them both time
to adjust to the invasion.

“My God.” Vince swallowed hard and gripped Rob’s hips.

“I’d forgotten.”

Rob had too, or maybe it had never been this way. He

waited for a signal from Vince.

He got the hoped-for sign when Vince pushed on Rob’s

hips. “More, please.”

Rob let out a long breath and drew back until only the tip of

his erection remained inside Vince. Vince hissed and yanked him
forward. A breathless chuckle slipped out, and Rob shook his
head. “Slow down. I want this to last.”

That was going to be difficult. Rob was already on edge.

The warm, snug embrace of Vince’s body on his cock created
incredible friction with every push and pull.

Despite his building need, Rob kept his thrusts deep and

unhurried. His gaze never left Vince’s face. The trust and love he
saw there awed him.

When he knew he was close, he reached down and

grasped Vince’s erection, stroking it in time to his thrusts. Vince

grasped Vince’s erection, stroking it in time to his thrusts. Vince
threw his head back, eyes closed, and moaned long and low.

“I love you,” Rob whispered, unable to hold the words in

another second.

As if the words were a trigger, Vince cried out Rob’s name

and came. Rob followed seconds later, his orgasm wrenched
from him by the tight grip of Vince’s body.

After a few minutes, he made himself go get rid of the

condom and bring Vince a cloth to wash up with. Then Vince
pulled him into his arms and kissed him gently. “I love you too.”

He nipped Vince’s chin. “Consider that the birthday

present I didn’t get to give you.”

Laughing, Vince pulled the sheet up over them. “Thank

you. It was just what I wanted.”

He was still smiling when he fell asleep moments later.

* * * *

In the middle of the night, a strange gasping sound pulled

Rob out of a deep sleep. He sat up in bed, blinking in the near-
darkness until his eyes finally adjusted.

Vince sat on the edge of the bed, head down. His

shoulders were shaking, and several confused seconds passed
before Rob realized what was happening.

Vince was crying, deep, near-silent sobs that wracked his

whole body.

The sight broke his heart. Rob slid over to Vince’s side,

The sight broke his heart. Rob slid over to Vince’s side,

wrapping an arm around him. “Hey. Come here.”

Vince turned toward him, letting Rob hold him. Rob rubbed

his back and tried to offer what comfort he could. He was
grateful his lover was getting some of the grief out. He was even
more grateful to be able to be there for him.

Finally Vince stopped shaking.

Rob eased him back into bed without breaking their

embrace. “This is the first time you’ve cried over your dad, isn’t
it?”

Vince nodded. When he spoke, his voice was raspy.

“Thank you.”

He smiled. “That’s what I’m here for.”

His lover gave him a small smile in return. “I thought you

were here for the great sex.”

“That’s one of the fringe benefits.”

Epilogue

“Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some

extent, protects you from age.”

—Jeanne Moreau

“Where’s that stupid tie?”

Vince shook his head as he knotted his own tie and

checked his handiwork in the mirror. Why Rob couldn’t come in

checked his handiwork in the mirror. Why Rob couldn’t come in
here and talk to him instead of yelling from the other room he’d
never know. He also had no idea where the tie was. “I don’t
know. Wasn’t it in the bag with the rest of the suit?”

“Never mind. Found it!” Rob appeared in their bedroom

doorway, brandishing the red tie, his dark eyes alight with
triumph.

Vince couldn’t help grinning at the sight. Rob looked

awfully pleased with himself. “Come here and let me tie that for
you.”

“I can do it.” Despite his denial, Rob crossed the room.

When his lover stood right in front of him, Vince took the

tie, looped the length of red silk around Rob’s neck, and pulled
him in for a brief but deep kiss. Then he pulled back and knotted
the tie quickly. “I never said you couldn’t.”

Rob narrowed his eyes in a way that promised retribution.

“I can’t believe how much of a tease you are. Just for that,
you’re not getting your birthday present. You know we have to
be at the church in half an hour or Joe’s going to kill me.”

His grin widened. It was his forty-seventh birthday, but

they’d been too busy with work, school, and the preparations
for Joe’s wedding to really celebrate. Rob had promised Vince a
“special” present tonight after the reception. “You’ll be no use to
me dead, so I suppose I had better get you to the church on
time. Put your jacket on and let’s go.”

Pouting, Rob went to the bed and grabbed the jacket.

Pouting, Rob went to the bed and grabbed the jacket.

Once he had the garment on, he turned in a slow circle. “Will I
do?”

Vince took in the sight of Rob decked out in the stylish

rented tux. “You look wonderful.” Good enough to eat.

Rob sighed. “Why did I agree to be a groomsman for Joe?

I hate wearing stuff like this.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Because he’s your friend?” He gave

Rob a sly look. “I happen to like the suit. I’ll show you how
much I like it when we get home after the reception.”

Rob whimpered. “You’re evil.”

Picking up his keys, he ushered Rob out of their bedroom.

“I know, but you love me anyway.”

* * * *

Vince watched the wedding party dance. Although he

knew he should have been watching the happy bride and groom,
his focus was on Rob. In a few minutes, Rob’s job as a
groomsman would essentially be over and he could come and
join Vince. For now Vince was content to be patient.

Watching Rob on the dance floor, he was struck anew by

how lucky he was. They’d been together for over a year. Rob
had moved into his apartment eight months ago. His sterile,
boring apartment had slowly been transformed into a place that
fit both their personalities.

Just as his father had told him, he really had been happier

with someone to love. The first few months had been rocky,

with someone to love. The first few months had been rocky,
partly because of the disapproval of a few of Rob’s family
members. Rob’s crotchety maternal grandmother had been easy
enough to win over. All Vince had to do was listen to her stories
and offer his arm to escort her to her car at the end of a family
gathering, and she’d decided he was a “nice young man.” Rob’s
cousin Amanda was a lot harder to convince. No matter what he
did, she remained skeptical of their relationship. It wasn’t until
Rob came down with a serious case of the flu and Vince nursed
him through it that Amanda conceded Vince wasn’t just looking
for a pretty boy to boost his ego.

The other major obstacle they had faced was getting used

to being in a relationship. Being alone for a few years had forced
Vince to learn to do things his own way rather than consulting
anyone else. He’d come to appreciate the freedom that came
with being single. Rob was equally independent. Compromise
had become their greatest tool. Vince had also learned to open
up and discuss things that were bothering him before they
became too large to deal with. Despite Rob’s youth, he had
taught Vince a lot about love and trust.

The music ended. Rob said something to the bridesmaid

he’d been dancing with that made her giggle. Then he, Dustin,
and Cody went over to Joe and gave him a group hug, hamming
it up for the wedding guests, who laughed and clapped. Finally
he turned in Vince’s direction.

When their eyes met, Rob’s face lit up. The way Rob

looked at him sometimes, as if he were everything, made him

looked at him sometimes, as if he were everything, made him
happier than any man deserved to be. His heart was so full he
thought it might burst.

Rob strode over to the table and leaned down close to his

ear. “My work here is done. Ready for your birthday present?”

He shivered at the sensation of Rob’s lips against his ear.

“Mm, definitely. Let’s go home.”

* * * *

Later, in bed after a truly spectacular birthday present

involving one of Rob’s old Speedo swimsuits and a bit of hot
role-play, Rob smiled up at him. “Not bad, for an old guy.”

He gave Rob a playful scowl. “Who’re you calling old?”

Rob snickered a little, then kissed his neck and fell asleep.

Gazing down at his lover snuggled against him, Vince

decided forty-seven wasn’t such a bad age to be. In fact, it
seemed to be just right.

Loose Id Titles by Cassandra Gold

Always a Groomsman

Fool for Love

The Cost of Secrets

Cassandra Gold

By day, Cassandra is a (relatively) mild-mannered middle

school teacher. She spends her days teaching grammar, grading
papers, and trying to get sixth graders to read.

At night, she lets the characters in her head out to play as

she writes stories of men falling in love. Unfortunately for her
husband, neither of Cassandra's personas enjoys doing
housework.

Main Web site:

http://www.cassandragold.com

Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/cassandra.gold.author

Table of Contents

Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six

Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Epilogue
Loose Id Titles by Cassandra Gold
Cassandra Gold