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or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by
electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter
invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in
any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the
written permission of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents

are   either   the   product   of   the   author’s   imagination   or   are   used
fictitiously,  and any resemblance  to the actual  persons, living or
dead,   business   establishments,   events   or   locales   is   entirely
coincidental.

Other Books by Matt Zachary:

New Discoveries (Book 1 of the New Discoveries series)

Broken Hearts (Book 2 of the New Discoveries series)
Life Changes (Book 3 of the New Discoveries series)
New Beginnings (Book 4 of the New Discoveries series)
The New Discoveries Series: Complete Collection (All 4 Books)
12 Days of Craigslist
A Life For Nicholas (Book 1 of The Nicholas Chronicles)
A Home For Christmas (Book 2 of The Nicholas Chronicles)
A Year For Change (Book 3 of The Nicholas Chronicles)
The Nicholas Chronicles (All 3 Books)

www.PorterlanceBooks.com

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Chapter 1

Nicholas didn’t have many memories of his parents. He

remembered his mom had beautiful, curly, blonde hair.
He could still smell the lavender scent of it as it blew in
the wind as she hung clothes outside on the clothesline
so many years ago. It occurred to him that the lavender
scent probably came from the laundry detergent she
used, but he liked to think it was the smell of her hair.
All he knew was that the small purple flowers always
brought a picture of his mom into his head.

He didn’t really remember his dad. He had an image in

his mind of a man with very dark, wavy hair…a man that
smelled of alcohol and never wore a smile. He didn’t
know if the image was a memory or just something he
had made up in his mind after hearing stories from his
various foster parents.

“He’s probably dead in a drunken stupor somewhere,”

they would say when he would promise his dad was
coming for him someday.

According to the stories, he was a drunk with a temper

that just left Nickolas and his mom alone to fend for
themselves when he was just three years old. As nasty
as they made him sound, Nicholas would still prefer to

have a parent and a normal life again. It had to have
been better than the foster homes he had been placed in.

Nicholas thought of his dad as he lay on his top bunk

bed, writing in a notebook. He was thirteen but had
always been a quiet boy. Moving from place to place,
and school to school could do that. The way he
expressed himself was by writing in his notebook. Some
would call what he wrote poems, but he liked to just
think of them as his memories, his hopes, his fears, his
dreams. His notebook was everything about him, and he
kept it very private.

“Are you writing in that stupid thing again?” Archie, one

of the other foster children asked. Archie was a red-
headed ten year-old, and just one of the many foster
children living in the four bedroom home.

Mr. and Mrs. Williams had thirteen foster children in all.

The kids in Nicholas’ class joked that his house was an
orphanage. He didn’t mind, though. Even though the
Williams’ mostly ignored the children, and only used
them as a paycheck for the state and free labor around
the house, it was still vastly better than some of the
houses he was placed in.

“Yes, now leave me alone, Archie!” Nicholas answered

as he tossed his dirty socks in Archie’s face.

At school, Archie was known as a bully. He was always

getting into one fight or another with his classmates, but
Nicholas didn’t have any problems with him. He knew
what it was liked to get picked on in school for having
no real home or family. Archie was just sticking up for
himself.

“I know what you’re doing,” Archie declared rather than

leave Nicholas alone. “You’re writing love notes!”
Before Nicholas could deny anything, Archie started
singing, “Nicky’s got a girlfriend! Nicky’s got a
girlfriend!”

Nicholas jumped from his bed to tackle Archie, who ran

off laughing and singing his new song throughout the
house. Nicholas wanted to chase him, but wasn’t about
to leave his notebook out in the open on his bed. He
shared the room with Archie, and Benjamin, another ten
year old boy. Although they were young and naturally
curious, they both knew to leave his stuff alone.
Nicholas was only three years older, but much bigger
than the pair of ten year olds and he used his imposing
size to keep them in line.

They weren’t what worried him. It was the other ten

kids in the house, who constantly were in and out of his
room. It was hard to have any sense of privacy with so
many people around.

The only ones with any privacy were Jacob and Joshua,

a pair of twin brothers. They were almost seventeen and
got their own room. They pretty much did what they
wanted. In fact, they were rarely home which Nicholas
found to be the only good thing about them. When they
were home, they spent their time terrorizing the other
kids, especially Nicholas since he was the oldest of the
other children.

Luckily, that night at dinner, they were gone again…

probably out getting high with their girlfriends
somewhere. Archie started singing his song once again
as they ate a dinner of fish sticks, macaroni and cheese
and peas that he and Marcia, a twelve year old girl,
cooked. Nicholas knew if Jacob and Joshua had been
there, they would’ve spent the rest of the night messing
with him. With Mr. Williams passed out drunk on the
couch before seven o’ clock and Mrs. Williams out at the
casinos, where she spent every night, there would be no
one to protect him.

As the younger kids did the dishes after dinner, Nicholas

retired back to his bedroom where he finished his
homework before spending a little more time in his
notebook. He wanted to make sure to get in what
writing he could because the next day, a new boy was
coming. He didn’t know much about the boy, other than
that his name was Johnny and he was fourteen. He only

Chapter 2

“When do ya think he’s comin’?” Archie asked Nicholas

over and over, even before he had woken up the next
morning. Since school was out for the week due to a
holiday, Nicholas planned on sleeping in.

“I don’t know!” he finally answered as he threw a pillow

at Archie. He had tried to ignore him and pretend to be
asleep, but Archie didn’t know how to take no as an
answer. “Why are you awake so early anyways?”
Nicholas asked, noticing from the window that the sun
had just barely risen.

“I don’t know. It’s what time I always wake up,” Archie

reasoned.

Realizing that he would not be getting to sleep in,

Nicholas hopped out of his bed and threw a pair of jeans
on. He slept in a t-shirt and boxer shorts, as did most of
the boys. The only clothes they were given were the
underclothes the state gave them, and once a year, they
were taken to the Goodwill store to get new school
clothes…well, new for them.

The house was quiet as Nicholas made his way to the

kitchen fix himself a bowl of cereal. The only cereal the
Williams’ bought was bulk, generic, sugared corn flakes.

Most of the children had grown sick of the same
breakfast day after day, but Nicholas didn’t mind. He
had eaten worse in some of the foster homes he had lived
in.

“Hi Nicholas,” Marcia said in a syrupy-sweet voice as

she entered the kitchen. It was obvious to Nicholas that
she took the time to fix her hair before venturing outside
of her room. “Do you think you’ll like Johnny?”

“I don’t even know him,” he answered without even

looking up from his bowl of soggy flakes. He was
oblivious to the fact that Marcia had a crush on him.

Jacob and Joshua teased him about being a virgin, but he

was only thirteen and had no interest in sex. They would
taunt him by pretending to give him advice. “You
should get some of that pussy,” they would say in
reference to Marcia. At first, Nicholas would tell them
that Marcia was only twelve and that was gross, but
eventually he learned it was just easier to ignore them
and wait for them to go away. Either way, he usually
ended up getting beat on by one or both brothers.

Johnny didn’t arrive with the social worker until late

evening, just after dinner. “This is Johnny Hendricks,”
Ms. Faison, the social worker, announced to everyone.
Nicholas found it funny that social workers always used
that fake, cheerful voice when bringing kids to their new

homes, as if that were all it would take to make everyone
happy about the situation.

For only being a year older, Nicholas noticed that

Johnny was much bigger than he was. His shoulders
were broader, he was taller…he resembled Jacob and
Joshua more than he resembled a fourteen year old.

“Hey,” Johnny said to Nicholas as he unpacked his few

belongings, and made his bed. Of course, Archie was
right there telling him all about the house and the rules.

“Hey,” Nicholas echoed back, though he only flicked his

eyes away from his notebook for a second to look at
Johnny. He listened closely, though, as Archie
questioned the new boy about his various belongings.

“Do you like basketball?” Archie asked with amazement

in his voice. Anyone could tell he already looked up to
his new roommate.

“I like all sports,” Johnny announced. “I played on the

baseball and football teams at my old school.” That
explained his muscular build, Nicholas noted to himself
silently.

Once Johnny’s bed was made, he stripped off his shirt

and jeans. Nicholas raised his eyes and couldn’t believe
how different Johnny’s body was from his own. Johnny
had muscles everywhere. As Nicholas checked out his

abs, he noticed a small trail of hair running down to the
waistband of Johnny’s boxers. Nicholas barely even had
underarm hair yet. He put his notebook up and crawled
under the covers. With his eyes closed, he couldn’t stop
picturing Johnny’s body.

Once it was lights out, and Archie and Benjamin had

fallen asleep, Johnny whispered to Nicholas, “Hey, Nick.
You awake?”

Nicholas was tempted to just ignore his new roommate

and instead pretend that he was asleep, but something in
him made him answer. “Yeah.” It was faint, but it
served its purpose.

“You’re a quiet guy, huh?” Johnny asked. Nicholas

could hear a rustling of the covers. The next thing he
knew, Johnny had lifted himself up and was sitting on
the edge of Nicholas’ bunk. “Is this okay?” he asked.

“Sure.” Nicholas wasn’t able to say much. He wasn’t

quite sure how he felt about the intrusion, but he
remembered how he felt on his first night in a new home.
Having just one friend when you closed your eyes to
sleep made it a little less scary. So, he put in an effort to
talk more.

The two boys stayed up talking about their lives and how

they got where they were for the next three hours.

“Goodnight, Nicky,” Johnny said as he returned to his

own bunk, ready to finally go to sleep.

Nicholas wasn’t crazy about being called Nicky, but

hearing it come out of Johnny’s mouth, with his
Brooklyn-type accent, it sounded good. “Goodnight,
Johnny,” he answered before drifting off to sleep.

The next morning, Jacob and Joshua barged into

Nicholas’ room as he was just waking up. He thought it
was just Johnny coming back into the room. He had
gone to brush his teeth, but as he looked up, it was the
twins.

“Scram!” they ordered Archie and Benjamin before

closing the door. “So, Nicholas, we’re in a bind and you
can help us,” Jacob started.

“Help you with what?” Nicholas knew he wasn’t going

to like the answer, but he had to play along if he wanted
to get out of the room safely.

“We need some money, so hand it over!” Joshua was

probably the less smart of the two. He didn’t waste time
trying to play good cop, but rather jumped straight into
bad cop mode.

“I don’t have any money,” Nicholas answered, panic

showing on his face. “Where would I get money?” he

asked, but didn’t think ahead to check the tone of his
voice.

“Are you calling us stupid?!” Joshua demanded to know

as he grabbed Nicholas and yanked him off the bed.

“Just give us your money…we know you have a stash

hidden,” Jacob bluffed. “Or, we’ll have to rough you up
a little.”

“And, you better lie and say you fell off your bed or

something,” Joshua added as if Nicholas getting beat up
were already the decided outcome.

“I think you two losers better get your fuckin’ hands off

my friend!” Johnny said from behind the twins.

They spun around to see the new kid, who was just as

tall as them but in much better shape. “Who the fuck are
you?” Joshua asked with the bravado still in his voice.
There was no way he was going to be intimidated by one
kid. He and his brother could easily take him and
Nicholas if they had too.

Rather than answer, Johnny threw a punch as Joshua,

knocking the twin on his ass. As Jacob jumped in,
Johnny placed him in a headlock, cutting off his oxygen
until he was begging for air.

“Get out,” Johnny ordered after releasing Jacob. “Oh,

and if anyone asks…tell ‘em you fell out of bed.”

“Man, that was awesome,” Nicholas cheered after the

twins left the room with their tails between their legs.

“You just let me know if they bother you anymore,

Nicky,” Johnny said as he tussled Nicholas’ hair.

Chapter 3

For the next week, Jacob and Joshua stayed clear of

Nicholas and Johnny, who had become quiet close
friends.

A few times at dinner, Joshua would give Nicholas the

evil eye but as soon as Johnny made eye contact with
him, both twins made sure to avoid his gaze and focus
their hazing on the other kids instead.

It turned out that when school started back up, Johnny

was enrolled in Nicholas’ class. “Great. You can help
me with my homework,” Johnny said only half joking.
He was great at sports, but his grades were lousy.
Academics could never really capture his attention the
way sports could.

“Sure thing, I owe you that much,” Nicholas answered

although he was sure Johnny was exaggerating about his
trouble with schoolwork. He seemed good at everything.

During their Algebra class, though, Nicholas couldn’t

help notice the lost look on Johnny’s face as their
teacher, Mrs. Hefton, explained coefficients.

“What was that?” Johnny asked at lunch. “Was that

even English she was speaking?”

Nicholas laughed as he started to drink his orange juice,

“It’s not that hard. It’s just basic Algebra.” Nicholas
had already learned some Algebra from his last school so
it didn’t intimidate him. Besides, English and Math
were his two best subjects.

“Dude, you’re going to have to help me,” Johnny

begged. His mood, however, didn’t hinder his appetite.
He shoveled his lunch of a tuna sandwich, chips and a
pudding cup into his mouth in between asking for help.

“Don’t worry. I’ll help you. We’ll go over it tonight,”

Nicholas promised just as the lunch bell rang to signal
that it was time to get back to class.

Nicholas made good on his promise to help Johnny that

night. By bed time, Johnny even understood what he
was doing.

“See…I told you it wasn’t that hard,” Nicholas said with

pride in his voice both for his own teaching skills and for
Johnny’s hard work.

After that, the two boys became inseparable. Anytime

one did something, they both did it. They were together
practically from sun up until sun down. Johnny even
convinced Nicholas to join the baseball team. Though
Nicholas would be the first to admit he was horrible at
sports, there wasn’t a high turnout for the tryouts so
everyone who tried out made the team.

“Don’t worry about it, Nicky. I’ll turn you into a home

run hitter before ya know it.” Nicholas didn’t really care
about baseball. He really only joined the team so he
could spend more time with Johnny. It wouldn’t hurt if
he could build up his body like Johnny and the other
boys on the team though.

Every day after school, Johnny and Nicholas spent some

time outside throwing the ball and practicing hitting. It
took a while, but Nicholas actually got good at catching
the ball which he couldn’t do at all before meeting
Johnny. He was even able to bat decently. He didn’t
have the arm to be a pitcher though, but they already had
one on their team.

The fist few days of practice, Nicholas’ arms were like

jelly. He wasn’t even able to lift himself up onto his top
bunk, so Johnny offered to switch beds temporarily.

As he slept in Johnny’s bed, the sheets, blankets and

pillows smelled like Johnny. It made Nicholas feel
warm inside, and somehow protected, like he imagined
falling asleep in a parent’s arms would feel.

“What’s this?” Johnny asked in the morning, holding out

Nicholas’ notebook.

Nicholas forgot he left it when they switched bunks. He

had been spending so much time with Johnny that he had
barely written in it since the day Johnny moved in. “It’s

nothing…,” he started to answer, but Johnny already had
the book open and was reading.

“This stuff is great. Did you write this?” Johnny asked

as he read the last entry Nicholas wrote about him.

“That’s private,” Nicholas said as he snatched the

notebook back.

Neither boy spoke as they got ready for school, but as

they walked to the bus, Johnny pulled Nicholas aside.
“Look. I’m sorry,” he said. He didn’t mean to invade
his friend’s privacy and hoped it wouldn’t mess up their
friendship.

“It’s fine,” Nicholas explained. “It’s just that no one has

ever read it before. He felt bad for snatching the book
back, but knowing that someone had read his thoughts
and feelings made him feel vulnerable. Still, if there was
anyone who he would let read it, it would be Johnny.

“Well, for what it’s worth, it was good…really good,”

Johnny reiterated. “But, I won’t ever touch it again. I
just want to make sure you and I are good still. You
mean the world to me.”

“We’re good,” Nicholas said as he tried to smile and

fight back the tears of happiness that were trying to push
their way out from behind his eyelids. He had never felt

Chapter 4

Three weeks later, the happiness that Nicholas felt with

Johnny was tested. For the first time since their
friendship began, Johnny was starting to spend time with
someone other than Nicholas.

“It’s just an after school date,” Johnny explained as they

sat on the bus ride home. He had asked out Amanda
Nivel, the smartest and prettiest girl in their class. She
was captain of the Dance Squad, and Class President.

For weeks, Nicholas had to listen to Johnny go on and

on about how beautiful he thought Amanda was.
Nicholas didn’t really have anything to contribute to the
conversations because he had yet to become interested in
girls. But, he listened like a good friend would. It
wasn’t until the date was actually set that he grew
jealous. “But, you were going to teach me how to throw
a curve ball,” he reminded Johnny in hopes that Johnny
would cancel the date and instead continue spending his
time solely with him.

“It’s one date, and I can spend the next day with you,”

Johnny answered, not seeing it as any kind of a big deal.
To Nicholas, though, it was a big deal…a very big deal.
He felt as though he were being cast aside like a toy that

a kid no longer played with because he had a new
favorite toy.

After the date, Johnny returned to the foster home full of

excitement. “She took me to her house and played a
song on the piano for me,” he rambled, telling Nicholas
every detail of his time with Amanda. “And, then we sat
on the porch swing and held hands.”

Nicholas felt like his heart was being stabbed with a

sharp knife as he listened to every detail. He felt guilty
that he couldn’t be happy for Johnny. They were best
friends and he didn’t want to feel the way he did. He
knew Johnny would be happy for him if he had a
girlfriend.

The next day, Amanda joined them at lunch. “Isn’t

Johnny great?” she asked as she kissed him on the cheek.

“Yeah, great,” Nicholas agreed, but with not much

enthusiasm. Amanda was a nice enough girl, but he
didn’t see why she had to spend every second of her time
with Johnny.

Rather than feel angry and upset, he decided to just

discuss it with Johnny on their way home. “Johnny,
remind me to talk to you about something later,” he said,
hoping that after having brought it up he wouldn’t be
able to chicken out later.

“What is it? You can tell me now…I have no secrets

from Amanda,” Johnny replied as he made goo-goo eyes
at his new girlfriend.

Feeling flustered, Nicholas used the excuse that the bell

was about to ring. “We can talk about it on the way
home. Just remind me,” he said as he got up to throw his
trash in the bin. If he had to sit and witness the love
between Johnny and Amanda for one more second, he
was going to barf.

Before he could get far, though, Johnny told him that he

was going to go back over to Amanda’s after school.
“Can it wait til I get home?” he asked.

“Sure.” Nicholas had to turn his back on the table so

Johnny wouldn’t see the extreme disappointment on his
face. Johnny didn’t even remember he had promised to
teach Nicholas how to throw a fast ball after cancelling
on him the day before.

When Johnny got back to the foster home later that

night, Nicholas had already had dinner and had climbed
into his bunk. First, he did his homework on Johnny’s
bunk so he could try to recapture the warm feeling he
felt the first time he slept in Johnny’s bed. It wasn’t the
same though…nothing was the same. Nicholas returned
to his own bed where he once again brought out his
notebook.

He was in the middle of writing a poem about losing his

best friend when Johnny entered the room, tossing his
book bag at the end of the bed, and quickly stripping
down to his boxers and t-shirt.

“What’s up, homie?” Johnny said as he effortlessly

hopped up and sat on the edge of Nicholas’ bunk.

Nicholas kept his eyes glued on his notebook. He knew

if he looked at Johnny’s smiling face, he wouldn’t be
able to hang onto his anger. “You were supposed to
teach me how to throw a fast ball today,” he said without
looking up.

Johnny didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t stopped to

think about how having a girlfriend effected Nicholas.
He watched as a tear fell from Nicholas’ eye as he wrote
in his notebook. He felt horrible, but all he could say
was, “I’m sorry, Nicky.”

Nicholas didn’t reply or look at Johnny, but instead just

waited on Johnny to go back to his own bunk. When he
woke up the next morning, he found a note under his
pillow that read:

Nicky,

I’m sorry for not remembering our plans. If you
give me another chance, I’ll make it up to you.
Please don’t hate me. –Johnny

True to his word, that afternoon, Johnny rode home with

Nicholas and spent the entire evening teaching him how
to throw a fast ball and a curve ball. By dinnertime,
Nicholas had almost mastered the curve ball but was still
having some trouble with the fast ball.

From that day on, Johnny made sure to balance his time

with Nicholas and his time with Amanda more carefully,
and Nicholas made more of an effort to not be as jealous
that Johnny didn’t spend every ounce of his time with
him.

Chapter 5

“Hey, what do you want for your birthday?” Johnny
asked Nicholas as he lay in bed sick with the flu.

Nicholas was about to be fourteen. He gave up wishing

for things on his birthday long ago, though. When you
shared a foster home with thirteen other kids, you were
lucky if anyone even remembered your birthday. A cake
was a luxury, and presents were practically unheard of.
“Nothing really,” Nicholas lied. There were lots of
things he wanted….parents, a real home, privacy, more
time with Johnny…the list went on. As far as material
possessions, all he really needed was his notebook.

“Well, I’m getting you something anyways,” Johnny

said in between coughing.

Nicholas felt bad for his friend for being sick, but a little

sad for himself as well. He didn’t like having to go to
school without Johnny.

“I’ll see ya after school and bring you your homework,”

Nicholas promised as he gathered his book bag and
closed the bedroom door behind himself.

At school, Amanda was the first to ask if Johnny was

alright. “Let him know I asked about him,” she made
Nicholas promise.

“Sure.” Nicholas rolled his eyes. He didn’t get the

whole love-sick thing. Still, he figured it would be nice
if someone worried about him the same way whenever
he was sick.

At the end of the day, he was so anxious to get home to

Johnny that he almost forgot all about baseball practice.

Most of practice was spent just running the bases.

Coach said they had to work on their speed and
endurance.

“You run like a girl!” one of the boys on the team told

Nicholas in the locker room after practice.

“That’s ‘cause he is a little girl,” another guy said as he

laughed at his clever remark with two other boys.
Without Johnny there, it had become a free-for-all for
everyone to harass Nicholas. The more he tried to
ignore it and just hurry up and change so he could leave,
the more he was picked on.

“More like a little faggot!” the first boy replied as he

walked up to Nicholas and pushed him against his
locker. “Aren’t ya? Tell everyone what a little fag you
are!” the boy ordered.

“I’m not gay,” Nicholas said as he tried to control his

tears. He wanted to run but the boy had him blocked.

“Yeah right, we see the way you look at us when we’re

showing. Maybe we should beat the shit out of you,” the
second boy suggested and the crowd that had gathered
laughed.

By the time the coach entered and broke things up, tears

were freely running down Nicholas’ cheeks and he had
almost wet his pants.

He normally got a ride home with one of the boys on the

team, but since Johnny wasn’t with him he was forced to
walk home.

When he got back to the Williams’ house, dinner was

already in progress. “Where have you been?” Mrs.
Williams yelled.

Before Nicholas could explain, he was marched to the

living room where Mr. Williams was waiting with a
social worker.

“We heard about the commotion you caused at school

after baseball practice,” Mr. Williams said with a tern
look on his face. “Starting fights won’t be tolerated!”

Nicholas was shocked. He wasn’t sure what the coach

had told them, but he didn’t start anything. He wasn’t
given the chance to explain, though. It had already been
decided that he would be better off in a home where they
could take more time to work on his issues. “We’ll miss

you,” Mrs. Williams lied as she shed some fake tears.
Nicholas was sure that she was only feigning interest to
protect the checks the state was sending each month.

“Can I at least say goodbye?” Nicholas asked the social

worker.

“We’ve already packed your things and really need to

go, but if you make it fast you can have a minute,” she
answered.

Nicholas ran to his room to say goodbye to Johnny. For

the second time that day, his face was soaked in salty
tears.

“What’s wrong?” Johnny asked when Nicholas woke

him. He had been sleeping for the last several hours and
wasn’t even aware that Nicholas’ belongings had been
packed up.

“They’re taking me to live somewhere else,” Nicholas

explained. “I only have a minute to say goodbye.”

The two boys hugged and Nicholas gave his notebook to

Johnny to keep. “I can’t take this…it’s too important to
you,” Johnny said as he tried to hand it back.

“I want you to keep it so you always remember me,”

Nicholas replied. He told Johnny he could give it back
when they see each other again in the future, but he
knew the chances of that were slim.

“Wait!” Johnny said as Nicholas turned to leave. “Take

this with you to remember me.” He handed Nicholas his
favorite jersey. It was a little big for Nicholas, but
smelled like Johnny. “I love you, Nicky.”

It was the first time Nicholas could remember anyone

saying they loved him. It felt good, but was bitter sweet.
“I love you too, Johnny,” he reciprocated. He meant it
and didn’t want to leave, but had to.

He held Johnny’s jersey close to his face as he rode in

the backseat of the social worker’s car to his new home.

Chapter 6

Nicholas was dropped off at the O’ Malley’s house

shortly after eight o’ clock. The drive took over an hour
and with each passing minute, Nicholas knew he would
never see Johnny again. He had hoped he’d be staying
in the same school maybe, but that wasn’t the case.

Mr. O’ Malley wasn’t home, but Mrs. O’ Malley seemed

nice. They all seemed nice though in the presence of the
social workers.

“Well, we’re happy to have you hear, Nicholas,” Mrs.

O’ Malley said after introducing herself. She showed
Nicholas to his room. It was small, but he wouldn’t have
to share it with anyone else. The only other foster kid in
the house was an eight-month-old baby girl, named
Chelsea.

As Nicholas unpacked his book bag, he looked around

the small room. There was only a small night stand and
twin sized bed that looked like it was likely left on the
side of the road for the garbage men. Nicholas could
imagine Mr. O’ Malley pulling over his pickup truck and
throwing it in just so they could take in another kid and
collect another check.

Nicholas curled up in the bed, making sure to keep a

close grip on the jersey Johnny gave him. With the
lights off, he could at least imagine he was back in his
old bunk bed and that nothing had changed.

“Time to wake up,” Mrs. O’ Malley announced at five

thirty. She asked what Nicholas might want for
breakfast, and for the first time, Nicholas thought maybe
living there might not be so bad.

“Do you have some frosted flaked?” he asked. It wasn’t

his first time starting a new school but he always felt
nervous. Being able to hold onto parts of his old routine
calmed him.

“Of course, dear,” Mrs. O’ Malley said. She seemed

very meek and mild. He still hadn’t seen any sign of Mr.
O’ Malley, but his pickup was in the gravel driveway as
he and Mrs. O’ Malley headed to school to get him
registered.

He didn’t make any friends at school, though he liked

his teacher, Mr. Ford. He also didn’t make any enemies
that he knew of, so the day was a success. He told Mrs.
O’ Malley that he would ride the bus home and hoped
that he would remember what their house looked like.
He hadn’t really been able to see much the night before,
and only got a glimpse of it that morning.

“How was school?” Mrs. O’ Malley asked when he

walked in the door. She was busy feeding Chelsea.
Nicholas assumed she stayed at home each day and
didn’t work.

“It was okay,” he said. He still hadn’t warmed up to her

enough to shirk off some of his shyness. “I need some
school supplies for my classes,” he said and handed her a
list. On it, he included an extra notebook so he could
start writing his poems and thoughts again. Though he
wasn’t about to tell anyone that it was his birthday, he
considered it his present.

“Okay, dear,” Mrs. O’ Malley answered. “I’ll ask Mike

to leave some money so I can run to the store tonight.”
Nicholas thought it strange that Mrs. O’ Malley had to
ask for money from her husband. Didn’t it belong to
both of them?

They shared a quiet dinner together, after which

Nicholas retired to his room to do his assigned reading.
Just as he turned his light off and climbed into bed, he
heard the front door slam and a man yelling about
something. The conversation was too muddled for
Nicholas to tell what was being said, though. He closed
his eyes and tried to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night, he was awoken to a

bright light shining in his eyes. “So you’re the new

bastard?” Mr. O’ Malley demanded to know as he
hovered over Nicholas’ bed.

Nicholas could smell the alcohol from both Mr. O’

Malley’s breath and clothes.

“Ye-yes, sir,” Nicholas answered as he tried to focus his

eyes. The light from the hallway was blinding him. It
didn’t even occur to him that he was agreeing to being a
bastard, though, he technically was he guessed.

“Don’t take that smart assed tone with me boy!” Mr. O’

Malley said as he yanked Nicholas from his bed and to
his feet. It scared Nicholas so much that he wet himself.
“What the fuck?” Mr. O’ Malley shouted.

“I’m, I’m so- sorry,” Nicholas immediately apologized,

half stuttering. He was crying and shaking
uncontrollably.

“Shut your fucking mouth!” Mr. O’ Malley yelled as he

drew his hand back and slapped Nicholas across the face.
“I’ll give you something to cry about!” With that, he
ordered Nicholas to clean up the mess he made when he
wet himself.

It took Nicholas almost an hour to stop shaking. He

hoped he didn’t have a mark on his face from where he
was slapped, though if he did maybe he would get to go
back to the Williams’ and Johnny.

Chapter 7

Just like the previous morning, Mrs. O’ Malley woke

Nicholas up for breakfast. He had fallen asleep
eventually, but only got a couple of hours of sleep. As
he opened his sleepy eyes, his muscles ached from the
cramped position he fell asleep in.

At breakfast, Mr. O’ Malley sat opposite him at the

table. Although Nicholas made an effort to keep his
head down and not make any eye contact, he could feel
Mr. O’ Malley’s eyes drilling a hole into him.

“Why is half of your face all red?” Mrs. O’ Malley asked

as she put Chelsea in her high chair so she could eat
breakfast as well.

“I think I slept on it wrong,” Nicholas answered. As he

looked up at Mrs. O’ Malley, he caught sight of Mr. O’
Malley’s cold, bloodshot eyes sending him a message.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I picked up your school supplies.

I’ll be right back.” Nicholas didn’t like being left alone
with Mr. O’ Malley but he was too afraid to get up and
leave.

“You listen here you little shit,” Mr. O’ Malley

whispered loudly after making sure his wife was far

enough away to not hear him. “You better keep your
fucking mouth shut about last night, if you know what’s
good for you!”

For the second time in less than twelve hours, Nicholas

felt the need to wet himself. He was able to control it,
though.

As soon as Mrs. O’ Malley came back with his school

supplies, he quickly excused himself to his room so he
could get ready for school.

With shaky hands, he put one of the notebooks under his

bed’s mattress and shoved everything else in his worn
book bag. After getting dressed and ready, he planned to
remain in his room until it was time to walk to the bus
stop. At least that way, he could avoid another
encounter with Mr. O’ Malley.

Shortly before he had to leave for the bus stop, though,

he heard Mr. O’ Malley’s truck rev up and leave.

“Nicholas! It’s time for you to get to the bus stop,” Mrs.

O’ Malley reminded him. On his way out the door, she
kissed his forehead and told him to have a great day. He
wondered how such a nice, motherly woman could be
married to someone so opposite.

It would take a few days to get used to having the same

teacher for all of his classes. The other schools he had

been in for his eighth grade year required him to switch
classes with each subject.

“Welcome back, Nicholas,” Mr. Ford said as Nicholas

entered class and took his seat. As the day went on,
Nicholas liked Mr. Ford more and more. He never
expected that he would look forward to being at school
much more than his time at home.

During his English Composition class, Mr. Ford

assigned the class to write a poem about their favorite
person. Immediately, Nicholas thought of Johnny.
Although it had only been a couple of days since they
had seen each other, it felt like a lifetime.

Everyone was given time in class to write their poems.

“Remember class,” Mr. Ford warned, “if you don’t
finish these today, take them home and have them ready
for tomorrow.”

Unlike some of the kids in Nicholas’ class who were

joking around and trying to write funny poems, he took
the assignment seriously. By the end of class, he re-read
what he had written and decided that although it was
short, it was complete.

Brother o’ mine

You’ll always be with me
In the way you taught me to throw
And fought my many wars

Brother o’ mine
Oh, how I miss thee
But I cling to your jersey
Behind closed doors

That night, Mr. O’ Malley wasn’t home by dinnertime

which brought some relief to Nicholas. “I bought you an
alarm clock,” Mrs. O’ Malley announced as they ate
some sort of casserole. “That way, you can wake
yourself up in the morning. You’re a young man now,
you know.” If anyone else had said the same thing to
Nicholas, he probably would’ve felt like they were
talking down to him…somehow insinuating that he were
immature or forcing others to do what he could do
himself. Mrs. O’ Malley didn’t seem to have a mean or
spiteful bone in her body, though. Her tone was one of
encouragement.

“Thank you,” Nicholas replied. He knew Mrs. O’

Malley felt a little uncomfortable around him, mainly
because he was so quiet. They were still strangers, and
he told himself that he would try harder to open up with
her.

With the alarm clock set on his night stand, Nicholas

quietly walked over to the bedroom door and locked it
before climbing into bed. He knew Mr. O’ Malley
would be extremely angry to find the door unlocked, but
he reasoned that if Mr. O’ Malley was trying to come

Chapter 8

Nicholas slept through the night without interruption.

He made sure to set his alarm for fifteen minutes before
Mrs. O’ Malley had been waking him up so that he could
unlock the bedroom door before anyone had discovered
it was locked.

He was in for a surprise at school, though. Just before

lunch, Mr. Ford announced that it was time to turn in
their writing assignments. “Now, who would like to
come up first and read theirs?” he asked, shocking the
entire class.

Nicholas’ face showed the panic he was feeling. It was

bad enough that he was the new kid. He didn’t need to
stand out by having to read such a personal poem.

“Okay, if there are no volunteers, I’ll choose for you,”

Mr. Ford told the class. Luckily for Nicholas, he wasn’t
chosen until most of the class had already read their
poems.

A few of the kids in his class did write poems that were

just as personal as his, but most of them were girls.
Even they were teased by the rest of the class.

Nicholas shook as he stood and headed to the front of

the class. His palms were sweaty as he felt thirty sets of
eyes aimed directly at him. He swallowed hard, trying to
remove the lump that had formed in his throat.

He wanted to chicken out and run for the bathroom, but
that would get him teased more than if he actually read
his poem, so he bit the bullet and just read it as fast as he
could without looking up even once.

“Thank you, Nicholas,” Mr. Ford said as he excused
Nicholas back to his desk.

A few of the boys around him whispered and stared as
he took his seat, but his poem was quickly forgotten by
them once the next person got to the front of the class.

“Pssst,” Nicholas heard twice behind him before turning
around. It was a girl sitting two desks back and one row
to his left. “Here,” she said as she handed him a note.

Nicholas held the paper until the bell rang before reading
it. It read: I LIKED YOUR POEM. DO YOU WANT
TO SIT TOGETHER AT LUNCH? -TIFFANY

The previous day, Nicholas sat all alone at lunch and
figured that eating lunch with Tiffany had to be better, so
he walked to her lunch table after grabbing a tray. A
small part of him wondered if it were a prank just to
make fun of him. “Hi,” he announced shyly.

“Sit down,” Tiffany told him as her two friends
snickered. “This is Becky and Mary-Anne,” Tiffany told
Nicholas.

There were a couple of boys at the table, too, who
introduced themselves as well.

“Nice to meet you guys,” Nicholas said quietly.

“You don’t have to be so shy,” Tiffany laughed. “I
really liked your poem. I didn’t know you had a
brother.”

Nicholas was surprised she knew anything about him at
all. He had only been there a few days. He had been to
schools in the past, though, where everything about him
was public knowledge even before he set foot on school
property. “I don’t. He wasn’t my brother,” Nicholas
began before correcting himself. “We were foster
brothers,” he explained.

Tiffany acted as though she didn’t know Nicholas was a
foster kid without parents. He wasn’t sure if she were
just trying to be polite or not, but she had kindness in her
eyes. Normally, when people found out he was a foster
child, they would shy away from him as though he had a
terrible disease. That wasn’t the case with Tiffany.

It turned out that she lived a block away from the O’
Malley’s and Nicholas not only spent every lunchtime

with her and her friends but also spent most evenings
after school at her house.

Nicholas always made sure to go home first, and help
Mrs. O’ Malley around the house before heading over to
Tiffany’s. He felt sorry for her being stuck at home all
the time and wanted to make sure to spend some time
with her. Mr. O’ Malley was never home at that time, so
he and Mrs. O’ Malley were able to talk freely. He liked
to think his conversations with her helped brighten her
otherwise dreary life…and maybe made up a little bit for
the time she was forced to spend with her husband.

“You’re seeing a lot of this girl,” she asked one
afternoon as Nicholas helped her clean the windows.
“Do you like her?”

Nicholas blushed. He really didn’t know what he felt
about Tiffany. He knew he liked her, and she had
quickly become his best friend. Still, he hadn’t really
thought about her romantically yet. “We’re just friends,”
he assured Mrs. O’ Malley.

“Okay, well, if you ever need advice about girls, I’m

here,” she said with a wink. The more time he spent
with her, the more she seemed to come out of her shell.
He still wondered how she could love a man as mean as
Mr. O’ Malley. Perhaps he had judged Mr. O’ Malley
too harshly. What he did wasn’t right, but it could’ve
been a very isolated incident. Since then, there hadn’t

Chapter 9

“I really like spending time with you,” Tiffany told

Nicholas one day after school as they sat in the swing on
her porch.

“I do too,” Nicholas replied. He wished that he could

spend all of his time away from school at her house. Her
mom was always so friendly, and her dad was nothing
like Mr. O’ Malley. He even got along well with her
younger brother, Andy. They were the kind of family he
saw on TV shows or commercials but never thought
really existed, especially for him.

“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,”

Tiffany said, timidly. Nicholas watched as she fidgeted
with her fingers. After a long silence, Tiffany finally
seemed to grab a hold of the words she wanted to say. “I
thought maybe you’d like to be boyfriend and
girlfriend.”

Nicholas had no idea Tiffany liked him that way, though

he shouldn’t have been surprised. Everyone at school
and even Mrs. O’ Malley already thought they were
dating. “I don’t know what it means to have a
girlfriend,” he eventually answered. His mind flashed to
Johnny and how he was dating Amanda and seemed so

happy. Having a girlfriend would make him feel a little
more normal. Most of the time, he felt like a complete
outcast.

“It means we’d agree not to date anyone else, and we’d

hold hands and stuff,” Tiffany answered. She still
avoided making eye contact.

“I guess that would be alright,” Nicholas agreed as he

took Tiffany’s hand in his own. Both of their hands
were sweaty, and Nicholas thought it felt awkward, but
told himself that was just because it was a new feelings.

When he got home for dinner that night, it was just him,

Chelsea and Mrs. O’ Malley again for dinner. He started
to wonder if Mr. O’ Malley had another family on the
side because he was hardly ever home. It was likely,
though, that he just spent all of his time off work at the
bar.

“So how was Tiffany’s?” Mrs. O’ Malley asked. She

asked the same thing every day.

“I think we’re boyfriend and girlfriend,” Nicholas

confessed, knowing that Mrs. O’ Malley would
appreciate him telling her.

“That’s wonderful!” Mrs. O’ Malley put down the food

she was feeing Chelsea and moved towards Nicholas
where she kissed the top of his head. “Congratulations!”

“Mrs. O’ Malley?” Nicholas asked, again sounding shy

and unsure. “What does a boyfriend do?”

Mrs. O’ Malley was unsure of how to answer such a

question. While Nicholas was practically a young man,
it was still her responsibility to treat him as a child. She
tried to remember when she were in the eighth grade and
what the relationships she had were like. “Well,” she
began to answer, “I suppose you should spend time with
Tiffany…but you already do that.” She searched for her
next words, being careful with what she said. “You
should bring her flowers for any special days like
birthdays, or Valentine’s Day.”

“And we should hold hands?” Nicholas asked to confirm

what Tiffany had told him. He nervously shuffled
around the peas on his plate as he waited for an answer.

“Yes,” she laughed. “I suppose at times you will hold

hands and eventually even kiss…but you shouldn’t do
more than kiss.”

Nicholas wrinkled his nose at the thought of kissing a

girl. That was something he would avoid doing as long
as he could. He wished he had Johnny to talk to. After
clearing the table and helping Mrs. O’ Malley with the
dishes, he retired to his room where he closed his eyes
and imagined Johnny was there with him, giving him
advice.

Over the weekend, he spent most of his time as usual at

Tiffany’s house, where they practiced holding hands
more. Other than that, their relationship wasn’t any
different.

“What’s it like for you at home?” Tiffany asked as they

walked in the park around the corner from her house.

“What do you mean?” Nicholas asked. He never really

liked talking about what his home life was like in the
foster homes.

“Well, we never go over to your house,” Tiffany

explained. “Why not?”

“I just don’t want to get in Mrs. O’ Malley’s way,”

Nicholas lied. “She has to take care of Chelsea and
needs her rest when she’s not doing that or cleaning.”
The truth was that Nicholas was afraid of Mr. O’ Malley
being home. They seemed to have had an unspoken
agreement where they stayed out of each other’s way
and he didn’t want to mess with that. Besides, spending
time at Tiffany’s made him feel more like a normal boy,
with a normal family.

Tiffany let the subject drop. She could see the sadness

in Nicholas’ face and wanted to help make him happier
but didn’t know how other than to just laugh and play
with him.

By the time Monday rolled around, they had grown

comfortable hand holding and were the talk of their
class.

“Nick’s got a girlfriend!” some of the boys in his class

teased, but Nicholas no longer saw that as an insult so it
didn’t bother him like it once would have.

Chapter 10

Over the following few months, Nicholas had a few

more run-ins with Mr. O’ Malley that always ended up
in him getting hit or slapped. Most of the time, the
confrontations didn’t leave any marks. On the few
occasions where he did get bruised, it was always in
areas he could hide under his shirts. Each time, Mr. O’
Malley was stinking drunk and each time was when Mrs.
O’ Malley was out of the house running errands.

Even with the occasional abuse, Nicholas had grown to

like his new life. He still missed Johnny, but was finally
able to go several days without thinking about him. For
the first time in his life, he had a loving mother-figure in
his life, a girlfriend, and a teacher he liked. And, most of
the time he never even had to see Mr. O’ Malley.

That changed, though as the school year ended. With

the summer vacation, Nicholas was forced to spend more
time at home. Because of that, he also had more run-ins
with Mr. O’ Malley.

The most recent occurred when Mr. O’ Malley

discovered Nicholas had been locking his bedroom door.
Nicholas woke up to the sound of his door being kicked

in. Nicholas had forgotten to set his alarm and had
accidentally slept in.

“Who do you think you are, you little bastard?!” Mr. O’

Malley yelled as he drug Nicholas out of bed.

Nicholas knew better than to answer. In the past, that

had only made Mr. O’ Malley angrier. Instead, he just
tried to twist his body so that only his backside would
get hit.

Mr. O’ Malley yelled as he began beating on Nicholas.

After the tenth hit, Nicholas lost count. He wasn’t sure
when Mr. O’ Malley stopped because he passed out, but
found himself curled up in a ball on the floor when Mrs.
O’ Malley came home.

“Oh my god! What happened?” she yelled. Nicholas

was scared and didn’t know what to say. The doorframe
was shattered and his face was covered in dried tears.

“Oww!” he yelled as she tried to hug him. He didn’t

know it yet, but he had bruises covering his back.

Mrs. O’ Malley started sobbing as she lifted his shirt and

saw the black and purple marks that were painted across
Nicholas’ backside.

After calming down, Nicholas tried to come up with an

explanation as to what could’ve happened without

implicating Mr. O’ Malley, but none of them were very
believable.

“You can tell me the truth,” Mrs. O’ Malley told him.

“Did Mr. O’ Malley do this to you?”

Nicholas nodded as he kept one eye out the window and

on the driveway to make sure Mr. O’ Malley didn‘t
come back.

“And has this happened before?” she asked, trying to

control her sobbing and stay calm.

Nicholas finally broke down and told her that it started

right after he moved in, on his birthday. “But, it’s fine.
I can handle it,” he assured her which only made her
sobbing worse.

As hard as it must have been for her, Mrs. O’ Malley

stood up and picked up the phone, first calling for the
police and then the social worker.

The next few hours, the house was surrounded by

flashing lights, police officers and social workers…all
asking Nicholas and Mrs. O’ Malley to give statements
as to what had happened.

Nicholas was told that he would have to go to a new

foster home, but was given a chance to say goodbye to
Mrs. O’ Malley. “Are you going to be alright?” he asked
her.

Half laughing and half crying because of how Nicholas

was more concerned with her than himself, Mrs. O’
Malley hugged him tightly and said, “Don’t worry about
me. I’ll be fine. You just take care of yourself, okay?
Promise me.”

“I promise,” Nicholas replied. Tears fell from his eyes.

He was going to miss her. She had truly become like a
mom to him. “Can I say goodbye to Tiffany as well?”
he turned and asked the social workers.

“We’ll drive you over on the way out,” they promised.

Tiffany’s parents were surprised to see a government

sedan pull up…especially one where Nicholas got out
and was escorted to the door by two social workers.
After explaining everything to them, Nicholas was
allowed a few minutes alone with Tiffany.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of that,” Tiffany

said, though she had no idea what it must’ve been like
for him.

“It’s okay,” he said as if it were no bid deal. “I’ve been

through worse.” The sad part was that he had.

After saying their goodbyes, Tiffany hugged Nicholas

and finished with a closed mouth kiss on the lips. It was
Nicholas’ first kiss, but he had so many emotions

swirling around in his head that he wasn’t able to figure
out what he felt about it.

“I’ll miss you,” he told her before giving her one last

hug. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything,” Tiffany promised.

“Tell Mr. Ford that I really liked being in his class, when

school starts in the fall.” In spite of the bad memories,
Nicholas had a lot of good ones and a lot of people he
would miss. He thought about them all as sat in the
backseat of the black sedan on the way to his new home.

Chapter 11

The next foster home was similar to all of the others.

They only took Nicholas in for the check. As he was
shown his room, Nicholas counted that four other kids
were at the dinner table. Most of them appeared to be
very young. Nicholas didn’t really notice anyone his
own age.

He did have to share a room with the oldest boy of the

house who was seven. He didn’t really mind, though.
He wondered if the foster parents were expecting more
kids because the room he was assigned had two sets of
bunk beds in it, just like the room he shared with Johnny
at the Williams’ house.

As he unpacked, he could hear one of the social workers

whispering with the foster parents in the hall. “He’s a
good kid, we just had to get him out of that
environment.” She went on to convey the details of Mr.
O’ Malley’s behavior to the foster parents. Nicholas
really didn’t like being talked about behind his back or
having such private details of his life discussed as
though he were just facts on paper and not a real boy.
He did note that the foster parents’ responses seemed
genuine and heartfelt. That could all have been an act,
though.

“Nicholas?” one of the social workers called before they

headed out. They made the introductions to Mr. and
Mrs. Brewer who asked Nicholas to call them Sandra
and Hank.

“Nice to meet you,” Nicholas parroted back. It was the

first time he entered a home where he was asked to call
the parents by their first names. As he studied Sandra
and Hank as they sat on the couch, they did seem to be a
nice couple.

Since he had no friends and school was out for the

summer, he spent a lot of time with both Sandra and
Hank. He would help Sandra around the house with her
cleaning, and Hank would play ball with him in the large
backyard whenever he was off on the weekends.

“Do you like it here?” Hank asked him as they tossed the

baseball back and forth one Saturday.

Nicholas wasn’t sure how to answer. He really had no

complaints, but he was still lonely with no one his own
age to bond with. “Yes, you and Sandra have been very
nice,” he answered. He realized it sounded forced, but
he was being honest. He wasn’t sure Hank would
understand that as nice as they were, it would never be
like a real home and family to him.

“Well, thank you, Nick,” Hank replied. “Let us know if

you need anything.”

Even as shy as Nicholas was, he was ready for school to

start back up. Sandra took him to the store for new
clothes and school supplies the week before. It was the
first time Nicholas had ever been allowed to buy new
clothes. “You don’t have to look at all the price tags,”
Sandra laughed as he tried to pick the least expensive
clothes and shoes. “Just pick out what you’d like.”

“Are you sure?” Nicholas asked, sure that there must be

some strings attached to the offer. Even after living with
the Brewers for weeks, he still had a hard time trusting
people in general.

“Yes,” Sandra replied. After they paid for the clothes

and supplies, she and Nicholas went out to lunch…just
the two of them. Frank stayed home to watch the other
foster kids.

“Thank you,” Nicholas told her as they waited to be

seated at the restaurant.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Sandra replied. The

waitress came along and seated them in a booth, and
took their drink order before Sandra continued. “We
know what you went through at your old home and we
just want to make sure that you have a better experience
with us.”

Nicholas wanted to cry. Sandra was being so nice to

him. Luckily, the waitress came back with their drinks
and asked if they were ready to order.

“Do you know what you want?” Sandra asked, but

Nicholas hadn’t looked over the menu yet. “Do you
mind if I order for you?” Nicholas nodded his
agreement and Sandra ordered the unlimited pasta for
both of them, starting Nicholas off with the fettuccini
alfredo and herself with the spaghetti and meatballs. “If
you don’t like it, we can order something else,” Sandra
promised.

“Mmmmm,” Nicholas mumbled to signal his approval of

the fettuccini alfredo with freshly grated parmesan
cheese on top.

“Try some salad, too. They make the best salad here,”

Sandra suggested as she watched with a smile as
Nicholas shoveled food into his mouth as though he’d
never eaten before. She had to remind herself that he
was a growing boy.

Nicholas was skeptical of a salad that contained olives,

onions and peppers, but he gave it a try and loved it even
more than his pasta.

“Can we come back here again sometime?” Nicholas

asked when he was finally stuffed.

“Yes, honey. We can come back, maybe for your

birthday,” Sandra suggested. A flash of Nicholas’ last
birthday went through his mind but he quickly wiped it
away.

School was a different experience than Nicholas was

used to. He was a freshman which meant he was
amongst the youngest students in the school. He did
manage to make his first new friend, though, in his
homeroom class.

Danny was also new and knew no one at the school, and

had been assigned most of the same classes, so it was
easy for him and Nicholas to become friends.

“Where did you move from?” Danny asked Nicholas as

they ate lunch at a table alone in the cafeteria. They
quickly realized it wasn’t cool to eat in the cafeteria.
The only students who did were all freshman. Everyone
else spent their lunch period either outside or walking
the halls.

Nicholas quickly explained how he was a foster kid, but

didn’t go into the details of the abuse he suffered from
Mr. O’ Malley. Even though he liked Danny, he had
only known him a few hours. The last thing he wanted
was to have gossip about himself spread around the
school on his first day, making him an outcast.

Chapter 12

The first few months of their friendship went well for

Nicholas and Danny. They hung out mainly at school,
and occasionally on weekends. As winter approached,
though, Nicholas noticed that Danny seemed more
distant with him and wondered if he had done something
wrong.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked Danny one Friday at

lunch.

“No, why?” Danny asked, but he avoided making eye

contact. Nicholas pressed him for answers and finally he
admitted that there was something he wanted to tell
Nicholas about. “Come over to my house tomorrow,
okay?” Danny asked and promised he would reveal
everything then.

Nicholas spent the rest of the day and night wondering

what Danny would tell him the next day. That night, he
cleared it with Sandra and Hank so that he could spend
the night at Danny’s. “I think that would be fine,”
Sandra answered. She seemed happy that Nicholas had a
friend his own age.

Danny’s mother welcomed Nicholas in as Frank dropped

him off with his sleeping bag the next day. “Danny’s
upstairs,” she told him.

As Nicholas entered Danny’s room, he could tell his

friend was nervous. “Let’s go for a walk,” Danny
suggested. As they walked through a trail around a lake
behind Danny’s house, both boys remained quiet.

“Well?” Nicholas finally asked. “Are you going to

talk?” He didn’t want to pressure his friend but knew
Danny would feel better after saying whatever was on
his mind.

“It’s hard,” Danny answered.

“If you’re going to stop being friends with me, just tell

me!” Nicholas said a little too loudly. He was nervous
too and just wanted the conversation to finally be over
with.

“I’m not going to stop being friends with you,” Danny

replied, but continued. “You might want to stop being
friends with me, though, after you hear what I have to
say.”

Nicholas promised that there was nothing that would

make him stop being friends with Danny, but it still took
some time for Danny to finally open up.

“I have a boyfriend,” Danny finally blurted out, though

he had to do it with his back to Nicholas.

“What?” Nicholas asked, not quite sure what his friend

meant.

“I have a boyfriend….I’m dating a guy,” Danny tried to

clarify. “I’m gay, Nick!”

Nicholas wasn’t sure what to think or feel. Part of him

wanted to run away and have nothing to do with Danny
ever again, but as he stood there and looked at the scared
look in his friend’s eyes he remembered his promise. “I
told you I wasn’t going to stop being your friend,”
Nicholas finally said.

On the way back to Danny’s house, Danny explained

how he and David met. David was a sophomore who
rode the bus with Danny.

As he listened to the details of Danny’s romance,

Nicholas remained mostly quiet. “Do your parents
know?” he finally asked.

“No! And, you can’t tell them!” Danny answered,

sounding frantic. “You can’t tell anyone!”

“Okay, okay,” Nicholas agreed.

That night, he told Danny the truth about being abused

by Mr. O’ Malley. He figured if Danny trusted him with
a secret, he could do the same.

“I’m sorry, you had to go through that,” Danny said once

Nicholas was finished. He wanted more than anything to
get out of bed and give Nicholas a hug, but didn’t want
to give him the wrong impression.

“It’s okay,” Nicholas said before suggesting they turn

over and go to sleep.

“Thank you,” Danny whispered after a few minutes. He

wasn’t even sure if Nicholas was still awake, but it felt
good to be honest and still have Nicholas’ friendship.

The next day, Danny took Nicholas over to David’s

house and introduced his boyfriend and best friend to
each other.

Nicholas wasn’t sure what to expect. He wondered if

David would be really feminine like the gay guys he had
seen portrayed on television. David wasn’t anything like
that though. He was on the football team and just as
masculine, if not more, than Nicholas and Danny were.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,”

David said as he held his hand out for Nicholas to shake.

“Nice to meet you, too.” Nicholas felt a little

uncomfortable, but tried to hide it. He didn’t want

Danny or David to feel awkward. He didn’t really care
that they were gay, although that was new to him. He
felt more awkward just because he was the third wheel in
the group.

To show his acceptance, he invited David to his birthday

party the following weekend. “I’ll be there!” David said
with a genuine smile.

On the way back to Danny’s house, Danny thanked him

for David’s invite. “He’s out to his parents,” he told
Nicholas. “But, I’m not ready to make the relationship
public…so please don’t say anything at your party,
okay?”

Nicholas had no intention of outing the couple, and gave

Danny his word. “It’s okay with me that you’re gay,”
also told Danny. “Just know that it’s new to me and
might take me some getting use to.”

That night, the two friends made a pact to never let

anything come between them.

Chapter 13

Nicholas’ birthday landed on a Saturday and Sandra and

Frank threw him a party. It was more like a slumber
party. Nicholas invited Danny, David and three other
friends from school to stay over.

“You think this tent will be big enough for you guys?”

Frank asked as he and Nicholas set up a six-man tent in
the backyard. Nicholas’ party was going to be outside
since the weather was unseasonably warm. Everyone
agreed it would be best since there were other small
children in the house that would need their sleep.

“Yeah, it’s huge,” Nicholas agreed. He was excited for

his party. Frank had already built a fire pit so they could
roast hot dogs and marshmallows and put out a sound
system for some music. His and Sandra’s present to
Nicholas was a new ten-speed bike and a shopping spree
for some CDs. Nicholas was anxious to play the music
he chose for all of his friends.

Danny and David were the first guests to show up, just

before three. “Do you need any help getting anything set
up?” they asked as they each handed Nicholas their
presents.

“Thank you, and no,” Nicholas answered. “Frank and I

got it everything set up.” He helped the boys in with
their sleeping bags and showed them around the back
yard while waiting for his other friends to arrive.

A few hours later, everyone was having fun sitting

around the fire pit telling stories and listening to music.
Luckily, Frank and Sandra’s closest neighbor was a
quarter of a mile away, so the music wouldn’t bother
anyone.

Nicholas noted that during the night Danny made a point

to never sit or stand near David. If David sat down next
to him, Danny would make an excuse to get up and then
sit somewhere else.

“Is everything alright?” David asked Danny in a whisper

as everyone was gathering on the back deck for Nicholas
to open his presents and blow out his birthday cake
candles.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Danny answered, but quickly changed

the subject as he pasted on a fake smile. “Let’s go…
Nick’s about to open his presents!” Danny knew David
was frustrated. He just didn’t want anyone to know he
was gay and was afraid that David might accidentally try
to hold his hand or something.

After the presents and cake, everyone retired to the tent

and started spreading out their sleeping bags. As

expected, Danny made sure to put his next to Nicholas’
where there was only room for one sleeping bag. With
his brows furrowed, David reluctantly set his sleeping
bag up on the other side of Nicholas’.

In spite of the tension Nicholas could feel coming from

David and Danny, he managed to have a great time.
Everyone stayed up for hours telling scary ghost stories,
which made them scream and laugh.

The next morning, everyone but Danny left. Nicholas

was sad to see everyone go but thanked them all for
celebrating his birthday with him and for their presents.
As David left, he whispered something to Nicholas,
“Can you talk to him for me, please?” Nicholas
promised he would.

As he and Danny took down the tent, he waited to see if

Danny was willing to volunteer whatever was bothering
him. When it became clear that he wasn’t, Nichols
brought up the subject. “So….,” he began, “why were
you acting so distant with David?”

“You know…,” Danny answered, not wanting to spell it

out.

“He’s your boyfriend and you hurt his feelings,”

Nicholas explained. It was a conversation he never saw
himself having but he felt badly for David.

Danny admitted that he felt bad, but it was the first time

he and David had been together in public and he was
afraid of getting outed. “Do you think he’ll forgive
me?” Danny asked.

“You need to explain why you did what you did and ask

him to,” Nicholas advised.

“That’s not the only reason I was so distant,” Danny

confessed, though he suddenly seemed more nervous.

Nicholas picked up one end of the tent as Danny picked

up the other end, and headed to the shed to put it up.
“What’s the other reason?” he asked his friend as he and
Danny set the tent down in the corner of the shed.

Danny didn’t answer, but walked up to Nicholas and

kissed him on the lips. “You’re the reason,” he
answered as their lips parted. “I think I love you.”

Nicholas was stunned. He didn’t know what to do. He

didn’t think he was gay. He had a girlfriend before. As
he was being kissed though, it was different than the kiss
he shared with Tiffany. Maybe it was because he was
older, but as Danny kissed him, Nicholas felt a stirring in
his pants. He was aroused. He wondered if that was
why he didn’t push Danny away. He was confused and
had to be alone. “You need to go home,” he told his
friend before running to his room.

Thirty minutes later, Sandra knocked on his door to see

if he was alright. “Danny just left,” she told him. “Did
you two have a fight?”

Nicholas had grown to really care for Sandra but wasn’t

ready to tell her about Danny’s kiss. He didn’t want to
betray his friend’s trust, and he still didn’t know how he
really felt about it all yet. “I feel sick. I think I just ate
too much cake last night,” he lied. Once Sandra left him
alone, he replayed the events in his head. With some
time, he was sure he could understand it better. He
needed to figure out how to act normal around Danny the
next day at school.

Chapter 14

Nicholas wasn’t able to figure out his feelings, but was

in luck. Danny wasn’t in school the following morning.
He figured Danny was too embarrassed to show up, so
he played hookie.

At lunch, David caught up to Nicholas and asked him if

he was able to talk to Danny.

“Yeah. He just didn’t know how to act around all of our

friends,” Nicholas explained. “He was afraid you might
accidentally out him somehow.”

“I would never do that!” David replied. His voice was

angry. “I can’t believe he doesn’t trust me more than
that!”

Nicholas tried to explain himself better and calm David

down, but David was still upset when the lunch bell
rang. “I have to get to class,” Nicholas said. “But, call
him. You guys can work it out.” He said what he
thought David needed to hear, but he didn’t necessarily
believe his words. If David knew about the kiss he and
Danny shared, he would never understand. He would
leave the decision about whether or not to expose that
kiss to Danny.

After he got home from school, Nicholas asked Sandra if

he could ride his new bike over to Danny’s house. “He
wasn’t at school today and I got his homework
assignments for him,” he explained.

“Sure, just be home in time for dinner,” Sandra

answered with a soft smile.

As Nicholas approached Danny’s house, he saw there

were two police cruisers outside, and an ambulance with
its lights flashing. He cautiously walked his bike up to
the house, as the ambulance drove off. “What’s wrong?”
he asked Danny’s parents as he looked around for his
friend.

“It’s Danny….,” Danny’s mother sobbed. She was

shaking and had a lost and confused look in her eyes.

Nicholas didn’t understand. “What’s Danny?” he asked,

but when no one answered, he ran past them and ran into
the house.

“Son, you can’t go in there,” a police officer told him.

From the conversations around him, he pieced together
that Danny hadn’t gone to school that morning and had
instead taken a handful of pills and took his own life.

Danny’s father stopped him as he walked back to his

bike. “Do you know why he would do this?” he asked.
“Did anything happen at your birthday party?”

The only think in the world that Nicholas wanted to do

was ride far away from Danny’s house, but he felt he
owed Danny’s parents some answers. “He was gay,”
Nicholas attempted to answer, though the words barely
creaked out of his dry and horse mouth.

“What?” Danny’s mom asked. It was the first time she

seemed coherent of what was actually going on.

“I said Danny’s gay…or was gay,” Nicholas repeated,

the harsh reality finally hitting him fully. His best friend
was dead and he felt responsible.

He explained how Danny and David were dating and all

that happened both at the birthday party and the next
day. “I’m so sorry,” he cried. “It’s all my fault!”

“It’s not your fault, son,” Danny’s dad told him with a

hug. He left Danny’s parents sitting on the front steps of
their porch, crying and consoling one another.

He didn’t realize it, but as he rode his bike back home,

he didn’t stop. He just kept riding. The only thing he
could see was Danny’s face, and the kiss, and how he
left his friend standing alone in his shed.

His heart felt full of pain. He pedaled harder, hoping

that the speed would erase all of the hurt. Everyone he
had ever loved, he had lost. He was determined never to
let anyone get close to him again.

To Be Continued…

Make sure to read “A Home for Christmas”, the second

installment in the “Nicholas Chronicles” series to find
out what happens next.

OR, Buy the Complete Collection (All 3 Books) –

The Nicholas Chronicles by Matt Zachary

Chapter 1

“Naw. She’s okay.” I half managed to get out as my

friends were teasing me about having a crush on April
Powders.

“Yeah, you do! Ohhhh, yeah, you do! Jimmy likes

April. Jimmy likes April,” Mikey sang out loud while
dancing around our lunch table. I’m not sure how,
exactly, I became friends with Mikey. I suppose it was
because we had homeroom together since I could
remember. He was very tall for a thirteen year old and
built like a lumber-jack. And, like you’d assume from
looking at his unkempt hair and dirt-stained face, he had
absolutely no manners. He didn’t even care if there were
girls around when he needed to pass gas, or shoot a
booger out of his nose. And, he certainly didn’t mind
embarrassing me in front of April Powders.

I was quickly turning beet red, and wanted to die.

April was a girl who I sat next to each day in my English

literature and biology classes. She had curly, brown hair
that always smelled like roses. She was our class
president, and my lab partner in biology. The truth was,
I did have a bit of a crush on her, but I’d never tell
Mikey that. No need to give him more ammunition to

use on me later. It was always so hard to concentrate on
the biology lesson when I was sitting next to April. I
was magically transported into the wishful thinking of
my mind by the lovely, clean scent of April’s hair. I
would get so nervous, though, that I had to constantly
wipe the palms of my hands on my pants in class. They
would sweat so much when I was around her. I mean,
they would sweat a lot…so much so, that I felt like a
sweat factory in biology! I probably left class everyday
with pit stains under my arms too. I’m sure she thought
I was a complete and utter idiot.

Being thirteen and in high school was hard to figure out.

As a teen and high-schooler, I was supposed to hit on
girls every chance I got and try to get dates or more from
them…but, just last year I was made fun of if I even had
a crush on a girl, or a girl had a crush on me. I never
really knew what to do, and Mikey seemed to know that
and pounced on me every chance he got. Unfortunately,
for me, he got a lot of chances. I mean A LOT!

“Aww…leave him alone, Mike,” my best friend,

Connor, interjected. “Can’t ya see he’s embarrassed?”

Connor was everything I wished I was. He was taller

than me…standing at five foot nine inches. He was
athletic and toned. He had brown hair and hazel eyes
like me, but also kind-of a crooked smile that seemed to
make girls swoon. He was the kind of guy who was

smart, funny, witty, goofy, and outgoing. I felt very
lucky to have him as my best friend. I could tell Connor
anything and know my secrets were safe with him. He
was completely trust-worthy, and we had been friends
since I was nine years old. That’s when he stopped a
bully from beating my face to a bloody stump. I know
he was just trying to protect me this time too, but Mikey
was hard to reel in when he knew he was getting under a
person’s skin.

Just as Mikey was about to start in again, and likely

embarrass me to even greater depths than before, the
school bell loudly rang.

RRIIIINNNNNGGGGGG….

Saved by the bell, lunch was over.

I exhaled a huge sigh of relief, as I picked up my trash

and partially eaten sandwich and tossed them in the fly
ridden trash can. I missed while trying to shoot the
balled up wrapper into the can, as if it was a basketball.
I quickly looked around to make sure Mikey didn’t see
my failure, and it seemed that I was in the clear for once.
Now, I just had to make it through the rest of the day.

Connor and I told Mikey we would see him later since

he had Algebra class on the other end of campus. As we
walked away, Mikey yelled at the top of his lungs,
“Jimmy! See ya later, Loverboy!” and cracked up

laughing to himself as he blew a kiss in my direction.
About thirty kids stopped and started looking at me and
laughed…some hysterically.

“Don’t mind him, dude,” Connor offered, and playfully

tussled my hair as he broke away to his locker. He
always knew how to make me feel better.

The next few classes went well. I didn’t have any

classes the second half of the day with either Mikey or
April, so I could just focus on my schoolwork. I was
always a teacher’s pet type of guy. I naturally got good
grades, and was always polite and attentive to my
teachers. I didn’t brown-nose or anything, but I still got
singled out as the example to follow in quite a few of my
classes.

Finally, the last bell of the day rang and I couldn’t wait

to get home. Mom said that if I got my homework done
early enough, we could go look at Christmas lights
around town. I’ve always loved Christmas. Living in
Washington State, I was fortunate enough to get a white
Christmas every year. It just seemed to make everything
so much more magical. The lights seemed to twinkle
more, as they reflected off the snow and ice…and the
people became just a tiny bit happier, in spite of having
to drive in a foot of snow. The cold temperatures made
me wanna get a fire going in the fireplace, and drink hot
cocoa while watching my favorite Christmas television

special. I had to imagine the fire since we never had a
fireplace in our house.

Connor and I lived right next door to each other, so we

always walked home together and talked about our day.
It was actually the part of my day I normally looked
forward to most.

“Wanna have a snowball fight throw-down?” Connor

challenged as we passed the park near our houses. A
snowball fight throw-down is like the ultimate snowball
fight….winner takes all. The last three years Connor has
held the championship, but I was determined to beat him
one day. It would have to wait until some other day
though.

“Can’t today, bud. We’re going to go look at Christmas

lights tonight, so I gotta get my homework for Mrs.
Schiltz’s class done ASAP!” I answered. “Maybe
tomorrow.”

“Deal.” Connor said with one of his patented winks as

we each crossed our front yards.

As soon as I opened the worn and squeaky door, I threw

off my snow covered shoes and ran straight to the fridge.
I was fortunate enough to have a very good metabolism.
Though, sometimes, I wondered if I was too thin. I
weighed just under one hundred and thirty pounds. I felt
like that was a good weight for my age and height. I

grabbed some whole wheat bread, three or four ham
slices, colby-jack cheese, and some Cheez-Its and
headed to my room. I put a sandwich together quickly,
and got my books out of my hand-me-down book bag.

“Is that you, Honey?” I heard Mom yell from down the

hall. My Mom was a very pretty lady, who had to raise
two kids all alone. She worked hard as a deli manager in
our local super-market, and always seemed to have a
smile on her face. Sometimes, I worried that she worked
too hard. She was older than most of my friends’ moms,
and shouldn’t have been doing as much manual labor as
she did. My friends used to tease me when I was little
about my Mom being the same age as their grandmas,
but I still thought she was the best Mom around. When I
would see laundry detergent commercials on television, I
remembered my childhood being just like what was
portrayed in them. The rays of sun would be coming in
the windows, with a gentle spring breeze. Mom would
always have everything smelling so great, and welcome
me home from school with a perfect smile on her loving
face.

“Yeah. I’m starting on my homework now. Are we still

going to look at lights tonight?” I asked her.

“As long as you and your sister get your homework done

in time,” she hollered back from down the hall.

My sister’s name was Sarah. Don’t let the angelic

sounding name fool you. She was pretty…she definitely
got Mom’s looks. She had the same long, wavy, blonde
hair that shimmered, and eyes that changed between blue
and green depending upon which type of a mood she was
in. Her skin was very pale, almost porcelain-like. But,
my sister could be mean….to me, at least. I guess that
was to be expected from an older sister. She just turned
sixteen, and thought she was too cool to hang around her
dorky, younger brother. Even as kids, she seemed to
find ways to torment me while we played together.
When I was barely eight, she would only play with me if
I would pet and talk to her feet. She would pretend they
were turtles, and if I didn’t pet them, and snuggle with
them, their feelings would get hurt. On several
occasions, she made me eat the dead skin from her
feet…telling me it tasted like bacon, and that the turtles
made it for me. And, of course, she always got her way.
Anytime we had to pick a game to play or decide on
what to watch on TV, it was always what she wanted. I
always figured my mom loved her more, but it could’ve
just been that she was mom’s first-born, or because they
were both girls. Maybe it was just because my sister
threw the biggest fit if she didn’t get her way. One time,
we were having an argument at Wendy’s about
something and she took her packet of black pepper and
blew the pepper right into my eyes. Boy, did it burn! Of
course, she claimed it was an accident, but, I knew

better. I told myself that I hoped she wasn’t planning on
coming home late and messing up our trip to go see the
Christmas lights.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

I sprung up from my history homework, as my sister

barged into my room and collapsed onto my bed,
scattering my homework all over the place.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked a bit too rudely when

I heard my sister’s sobbing.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” she replied. I moved my

homework out of the way, because I thought her nose
was running and I definitely didn’t need snot all over my
report when I turned it in. “You wouldn’t even
understand,” she continued in between sobs.

“How do you know what I’d understand?” I asked,

defensively.

“Men!” she exclaimed. Before I could figure out what

she meant, she rambled on like I wasn’t even there.
“They will tell you they love you, and that you mean the
world to them…but, don’t you believe them. Oh no!
Don’t you believe them!”

I don’t really expect to ever be in that position with a

man, but okay…..

“They’re all the same and only after one thing. Why

can’t Andrew understand that I want to take it slower
than that? He tried to get me to hook-up last night, you
know?” she asked rhetorically to no one in particular, as
if I weren’t really even there. “And, then, when I said I
just wanted to kiss…he said he was fine with it. But,
today he gives me the silent treatment all day, and at
lunch I see him flirting with Angela ‘the slut’ Morgan!”

“Should I be hearing this?” I asked, but she continued as

if not even hearing me.

“If he wants Angela ‘the slut’ Morgan, well, he can have

her! I’ve got lots of guys wanting to date me. That’s
what I’ll do! I’ll go out with another guy tonight. See
how he likes it!” Before she could ramble more, I
stopped her and reminded her that we were all going to
look at Christmas lights. “Grow up, Jimmy! How can
you think of Christmas lights at a time like this???”
And, with that, she stormed out of my room, likely to go
repeat the entire thing to Mom.

Even if she decided she didn’t want to go look at the

lights with me and Mom, I was still excited. I spent the
next two hours doing my report until I smelled dinner.
As I was packing my books back into my book bag,
Mom yelled out, “Dinner time!”

I raced to the dining room, and saw we were having a

“taco night.” Not very Christmassy, but I loved Mexican

food. Laid out on the table were hard, corn tortillas as
well as soft, flour tortillas. There was ground, seasoned
beef, refried beans, two kinds of shredded cheese, black
olive slices, lettuce, onions, diced tomatoes, salsa and
sour cream. My sister was already seated at the table
and seemed to be in better spirits. As always, I started
loading up my plate first.

“Hungry much?” my sister asked in a sarcastic tone.

“You bet…” I replied with my mouth full as I continued

shoving the first bite in my mouth. The taco broke and
all its fillings dropped out onto my plate. Mom and
Sarah laughed contagiously.

After dinner, Sarah and I cleaned the table and dishes.

She made me wash because she said her hands were too
delicate for dish-water. Oh, brother! I didn’t mind
though because I never liked drying dishes anyways. I
always thought I was going to drop and break them
because they were so slippery. Once the left-overs were
put up and the kitchen was sparkling clean again, Mom
told us to get our coats and shoes on so we could get on
the road for some good ole Christmas light lookin’.

“You don’t have to tell me twice….” I hollered as I

raced to find my shoes.

“Jimmy! I’ve told you not to get snow all over the place

when you come in from school,” Mom complained when

she saw the mess the snow from my shoes made. “Go
get a towel and mop up the puddles, please.” I hurried
and cleaned up the mess, and we all hopped in the car.

Brrrr, rrrr, rrrr, rrrrrr….cachuk!

Mom’s car was an older, powder-blue, Chrysler station-

wagon that never seemed to want to start when it was
cold outside. Mom tried again, and it finally cranked.
“Oh my God…it’s sooooo c-c-coooollllddddd in here,”
Sarah complained. She always seemed to be
complaining about something. Mom turned on the
Christmas carols to take our minds off of the frigid car
while it slowly warmed up. Then, she stepped outside to
scrape the ice from the windshield. Meanwhile, I
bundled up in the blanket I kept on the back seat for long
trips. I got car sick very easily, so if we were going to be
in the car long, I always had to nap to prevent myself
from getting too nauseous. There was always a blanket
and pillow waiting for me, just in case.

“Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the waaaayyyy…”

I sang as we backed out of the driveway. The car began
to heat up and we started out to the first neighborhood.
The first few houses didn’t have any lights on, even
though their yards were decorated. We did manage to
find enough houses that had their lights on to make it
worth it, though. We sang along to the carols on the
radio, in between our trio of “ooohhhhs” and “aaahhhs”

as we saw bigger and bigger displays of lights. One
house even had wooden cut outs of cartoon characters,
and had re-enacted a scene from my favorite Christmas
special, involving a lonely Christmas tree.

Once we left a few of the smaller neighborhoods, we

made our way to the King of Neighborhoods, as I nick-
named the sub-division due to the enormous sizes of the
houses. I don’t know if you’d call the houses in Ashton
Woods Estate mansions, but they are certainly the
biggest houses I had ever seen. Each house was covered
in stone, and even had a smaller attached home for their
housekeepers or cooks. We weren’t what I would call
poor, but we rented our home…and had an older car.
Mom provided for my sister and I alright and we haven’t
been on welfare. Even so, money was tight. I could
never imagine living in a house as large and luxurious as
the ones I was looking at. There must have been at least
seven or eight bedrooms in each main house…and
probably just as many bathrooms. Imagine that….not
having to share a bathroom with Sarah anymore. It
brought a smile to my face.

The lights and decorations on the mansions looked so

elegant. It was my absolute favorite stop every year.
My mom always worried that we would get arrested,
because of the looks of our car. “Surely, they’ll think
we’re casing the joint,” she always joked. One of the
houses had a huge tree in the middle of the spacious,

front yard, and they always decorated it to look like a
Christmas tree, complete with the tree skirt and larger
than life presents underneath. It was so big, it reminded
me of the tree at the end of the How the Grinch Stole
Christmas cartoon special. If I would ever become rich,
I’d want to give my Mom a Christmas tree like that…
with just as many presents.

We continued looking at more houses and more pretty

lights, but I must have fallen asleep because I awoke to
my Mom tucking me in to bed.

“Sweet dreams, Jimmy,” she said as she kissed my

forehead.

“Goodnight, Mom,” I lazily muttered back.

BBBBBZZZZZ. BBBBBZZZZZ. BBBBBZZZZZ.

BBBBBZZZZZ.

I hated my alarm clock. Connor had an iPod dock that

would wake him to his favorite music. I didn’t have an
iPod or cell phone…hell; we didn’t even have enough
money for a generic mp3 player. I tossed my simple but
effective alarm clock across the room and slowly got out
of bed.

I had to bang on the bathroom door, repeatedly. “Hurry

up!” As usual, Sarah was in there doing her makeup.

“You can do that in your room,” I suggested for about
the millionth time.

“I have to look extra, extra hot today, you know…so I

can make Andrew jealous,” she explained as she exited
our only bathroom, “…so, chill out, dweeb.”

“Whatever…” I mumbled as I closed the door and

started the shower. I wasn’t really a vain guy. I didn’t
get haircuts every two weeks like Connor, or workout
religiously like Mikey. Most days I barely ran a comb
through my hair. But, I thought I was an attractive
enough guy, in an average sort of way.

After getting ready and grabbing my book bag, I made

my way next door to Connor’s so we could head to the
bus stop. We always rode the bus on cold mornings,
because it was just too cold and early to make a hike to
school in the snow and ice. Most of our friends got rides
to school from their parents, but Connor’s parents and
my Mom were already at work by the time school
started.

As we pulled up to the school, Mikey was there waiting.

“What took ya’ll so long?” he asked with a fake,
southern drawl.

“We’re here at the same time as always, Mikey,” I

replied. He just punched my shoulder and started telling
us about the cool, new tablet computer he got last night

for Hanukkah. Mikey lived on the wealthier side of
town. His parents were both doctors, so he tended to
always have the best of everything. I liked living
vicariously through him, especially when he would tell
us about all the new gadgets he got as presents. But,
after 10 minutes of him rambling on about this new $700
tablet computer, even I was jealous and ready to change
the subject. “So….how did you guys think you did on
yesterday’s English Lit test?” I offered to steer the
subject in a different direction.

“I aced that biotch!” exclaimed Mikey, even though he

rarely got anything above a “C.”

“I think I did pretty well, too,” I stated.

Of course, Mikey had to start in on me, again. “I’m

surprised you could concentrate on the test, what, with
you drooling over April all day.”

“I think that was you, Mike!” Connor interjected,

coming to my rescue yet again. “We’d better get to
homeroom, though, before the bell rings.” We took our
seats just as the second bell rang.

The rest of the day went by without incident. In

Biology, April even gave me a note that of course
smelled of roses. I waited until last period, though, to
read it:

Jimmy,

I think you’re really cute. I hope you think I’m

pretty, also.

I was hoping you’d ask me to the Winter Dance,

if you don’t already have a date.

Let me know…okay?

April

It was a short note, but one that made me very happy. It

got me equally as nervous, though. I had never even
held a girl’s hand…so how was I going to take one to the
dance? I had nothing to wear, and I’d have to get a
corsage. At the end of the night, she’d probably expect
me to kiss her. It’s not that I didn’t want to, but what if I
was bad at it and she told everyone at school? I
definitely didn’t want Mikey to know about this note, but
I’d probably tell Connor about it on the way home from
school.

“Hey, Connor,” I started as we made our way home,

“April gave me a note today in Biology.”

“No way, dude! That’s great….what’d it say?”

“She wants to go to the Winter Dance with me.” I

explained. Connor thought that was great. “But, I’m

scared. I have never been that close to a girl. How will I
know if I should kiss her?”

“You’ll just know,” he offered with confidence. Connor

had kissed a few girls over the last year, even though he
never really dated any of them.

“How will I know how to kiss,” I asked, “…so I don’t

gross her out?”

My best friend just started cracking up laughing. “You

know I’m your best friend and would do anything for
you, dude….but, I’m not kissing you!” he teased.
Hearing that made me laugh and lightened my mood.

That is, until we rounded the next corner. Blue and red

lights were flashing near my house. I could see a portly
police officer putting my Mom in the back of a squad
car. She was handcuffed!

I forgot about Connor and the note from April, and

sprinted to my house as the police car containing my
Mom drove off. I don’t know when I started crying, but
tears were streaming down my face. At first, I figured it
was just snowflakes that landed on me, melting. I was
screaming, trying to catch my mother. I didn’t know
what was going on. As I reached my house, a tall,
middle-aged, uniformed officer asked if I was James
Nelson.

“Where did you take my Mom?” I screamed, through my

sobbing and tears.

“It’ll be alright, son,” the officer told me. “Are you

James Nelson?”

“YES! YES! Why did you take my Mom away?” I

demanded.

“Because she isn’t your Mom,” the tall officer answered.

That’s all I remember before I fainted.

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