An Ellora’s Cave Romantica Publication

www.ellorascave.com

Past Lies

ISBN 9781419916380
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Past Lies Copyright © 2008 Shayla Kersten

Edited by Mary Moran.
Photography and cover art by Les Byerley.

Electronic book Publication April 2008

This book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written
permission from the publisher, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.® 1056 Home Avenue, Akron OH 44310-
3502.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales
is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously.

P

AST

L

IES

Shayla Kersten

Acknowledgements

To Cynthia D’Alba, a fantastic critique partner and friend.
To the ladies of Endurance Writing for cracking the whip during NaNoWriMo and

beyond.

Trademarks Acknowledgement

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the

following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

ACLU: American Civil Liberties Union
Arkansas Heart Hospital: MedCath Incorporated
Barbie: Mattel, Inc.
Botox: Allergan, Inc.
FedEx: Federal Express Corporation
Hampton Inn: Hilton Hospitality, Inc.
Mastercraft: MasterCraft Boat Company
Mercedes Benz: DaimlerChrysler AG Corporation
Mississippi State University: Mississippi State University Corporation
Hampton Inn: HLT Domestic IP LLC
Rolex: Rolex Watch U.S.A., Inc.
Velcro: Velcro Industries B.V. Limited Liability Company
Wal-Mart: Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

Past Lies

Chapter One

Paul Loughton checked his reflection in the mirror. Not bad for a thirty-eight-year-

old. He’d kept his body fit since high school. He could probably still squeeze into his
old football uniform, but the light blue polo shirt and khaki slacks would have to do.

As much as he didn’t want to go to this party, he had no choice. In a town as small

as Prestonville, everyone would wonder why the former captain of the high-school
football team and current mayor would skip an event such as his twenty-year high-
school reunion. The last three reunions—five, ten and fifteen years—hadn’t bothered
him. But then Randy Martin wasn’t expected to attend. Now…

Paul pushed errant thoughts back into the recesses of his mind and focused on the

other reason he dreaded the coming event. Now that word of his broken engagement to
Diane was all over town, every single female would be on the prowl.

His ego had nothing to do with his confidence regarding the opposite sex. His

family had practically founded the town. Preston Loughton was his great-grandfather
several times removed. He’d settled here with his family after the Civil War and a small
town built up around him. His eligibility was also enhanced by his family’s money.

Diane Warren had been more than politely curious about his family finances and

the size of Paul’s inheritance. A little crass on her part since his dad and mom were
alive and well, and probably would live another twenty years at least. However, money
wasn’t the only reason he broke off the relationship.

The more time they spent together, the more Paul realized he couldn’t live with

Diane. Her personality grated on his nerves. Under the same roof full time would never
work.

Now with a ghost from his past materializing at the reunion, his mind kept drifting

toward the other reason he’d never be happy with Diane, or any other woman for that
matter. Longings pushed into oblivion years ago insisted on resurfacing.

His feelings went deeper, so deep he didn’t want to examine them. Not now.

Especially with Randy Martin expected at the reunion. Paul shook his head. Not ever.

“Okay.” He sighed as he tugged the hem of his shirt into place. “Time to go.”

* * * * *

Randy Martin glanced around the simple hotel room. Two full beds with

substandard mattresses separated by a nightstand that hung from the wall. A dresser
with a television on it and an uncomfortable-looking chair finished off the furnishings.
Not many people traveled to Prestonville. The need for luxury, or even good
accommodations, didn’t exist.

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Shayla Kersten

He didn’t want to be here, but he’d make the best of it. Whoever invented high-

school reunions was masochistic—and not in a good way. The upper crust of his
graduating class had made Randy’s teen years miserable. Going willingly into the same
crowd, even twenty years and financial success later, filled Randy with dread. The
memory of him as a gangly teenager hiding an impossible crush threatened to dampen
his confidence.

Born and reared on the proverbial wrong side of the tracks, Randy had fled the

small-minded cliquish town as soon as he graduated high school. Coming back for the
reunion was his mother’s idea. She knew the way people had treated him back then and
she wasn’t above wanting to rub faces in his success.

So here he was. The short-sleeved pullover shirt and the dark slacks were high

quality, probably the most expensive in his wardrobe. If he had to be here, he planned
to make sure everyone knew he wasn’t the poor white trash most of his classmates
thought of when they heard his name.

With a quick glance at his Rolex, he took a deep breath and headed out to greet his

past.

* * * * *

A large banner across the front of Fenton’s Home Cooking welcomed the returning

class. Randy almost turned around and left, but a voice yelled his name from the
parking lot.

“Randy Martin! I’ll be damned.” Susan Jackson rushed down the sidewalk with a

clatter of high heels and barreled into his arms. “I never thought you’d be here.”

Her simple blue dress revealed a figure she didn’t have in high school. The plump

curves he remembered around her waist and hips were gone, although her bust didn’t
look as if it had lost any ground.

Susan had been his best friend, nothing more, although she had been interested.

Then again, back then, Susan had been interested in almost anything with a dick.
Another one of the social outcasts, she hung with the same small crowd as Randy.

Hugging her hard, he said, “It was my mother’s idea. She insisted.”
Susan laughed as she pulled away. “And when your mother gets an idea in her

head…”

“Oh yeah. She hasn’t changed.”
“So are you home visiting her or here just for the reunion?”
“Neither. I moved to Little Rock about six months ago from Chicago. When my

employer InfoTech opened a research and development division in Arkansas, I asked
for a transfer and they offered me the top job.”

Susan feigned awe with an over-exaggerated flourish of her hands before she

clasped them to her ample bosom. “Heading up divisions? So you’re some kind of
bigwig?”

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Past Lies

“Yeah.” Randy landed a gentle punch on her shoulder. “President, Research and

Development. I even have the business cards to prove it.” He joined her peal of
laughter. “What are you doing these days?”

“I live in Texarkana. On the Texas side, didn’t move too far from Arkansas. I’m the

head nurse of the pediatrics ward at a hospital there. I’m staying with Momma for the
weekend.”

“You—a nurse?” Randy shook his head. “Weren’t you the one who fainted at the

sight of blood?”

“Yeah, well, I outgrew it. Ended up taking care of my grandmother while she was

dying. It was a revelation.” A somber expression clouded her bright smile. Susan
hooked her arm around Randy’s. “Shall we face the lion’s den and prove everyone
wrong about us?” Her flagging smile returned as a broad grin.

“Wrong?”
“Don’t you remember? We were voted most likely to end up dead in a ditch.”
Randy burst out laughing. “I’d forgotten that! I’ve dreaded this weekend since I

finally caved and told my mother I’d attend. Now it doesn’t seem so bad.” Randy
pulled open the door and motioned Susan inside. “With at least one friendly face, the
night is looking up.”

The main dining area of the restaurant had a few patrons, mostly older people. The

red-and-white-checked vinyl tablecloths looked like the same ones he remembered
from when his mother waitressed here. Music filtered in from the small private room in
the back of the building. As they approached, the muffled sound of music clarified into
the soaring vocals of Whitney Houston.

Pushing open the door, the music of his teenage years blasted out into the open.

Randy hurried through, pulling Susan in before closing the door.

A couple of long tables lined one side of the room laden with finger foods. Purple-

and-gold-colored crepe draped down the front of the table. A portable bar was at the
end of the buffet. More people crowded around the bar than the appetizers. Not that
Randy blamed them. He could use a drink right about now.

The room looked as if it were exceeding maximum capacity. With around a

hundred students in his graduating class, he hadn’t expected so many people. Maybe
seventy or eighty filled the small space. Then again, if most people brought a spouse or
significant other…

“You want something?” Randy yelled over the loud music, and pointed at the bar.
“Yes please.” Susan led the way through swirling dancers and clusters of people

engaged in loud conversation.

Snippets of words and phrases made it through the mush of sound. Paranoid about

being here, Randy thought he heard his name several times, but when he glanced
around, no one seemed to be looking his way.

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Shayla Kersten

Arriving at the bar, a broad set of shoulders attached to a slim waist distracted him.

His cock twitched with interest but he pushed any further thoughts aside. Since he’d
never discussed his sexual preferences with his mother, the move home had made him
stuff his sexual needs into the closet. But an ass like that made his libido beat on the
door.

Randy tore his gaze away from the interesting view. “Scotch, neat,” he called out to

the bartender. “Susan?”

“Vodka tonic.”
Randy pulled bills out of his pocket and brushed aside Susan’s hand as she reached

for her purse. “My treat. I’m the bigwig making the bucks, remember?”

“No problem, sweetie. You can pay my way any day.”
The intriguing set of shoulders turned toward Randy. A flush of heat almost got

away from him. Of all people to lust after, Paul Loughton was as far from a possible
lover as they came. Not that his unavailability stopped Randy’s high-school wet
dreams. He’d lusted over the hottest guy in his class along with probably every female
in the school.

Paul’s reputation in high school as a ladies’ man was legendary. Any woman he

wanted, he got. With his sandy blond hair and deep blue eyes, all he had to do was say
“spread ‘em” and half the women in school, including his teachers, would have fallen
over on their backs and opened wide.

Randy felt like doing something similar right now. Except his mind tended toward

falling to his knees. Glad he’d left his shirt untucked, Randy gulped a mouthful of
scotch. When Paul’s gaze met his, he nearly choked on the fiery liquid.

Paul’s forehead furrowed and his eyes narrowed. “I remember you. Randy Martin,

right?”

“Right.” Randy shifted his drink to his left hand then extended his right to shake

Paul’s. “Long time. I’m surprised you remembered me.”

Paul shrugged. “I’ve always been good with names. A valuable trait when you’re in

politics.”

“Politics? Really?” Randy swallowed disappointment over the brief fantasy of Paul

in his bed. A politician, especially in the South, wouldn’t dare an indiscretion as severe
as a gay hookup.

“I’m the town mayor. Although I’m considering a run for state office.” Paul took a

long draw from his beer. “I have a law practice here in town as well.”

“Interesting.” An awkward silence ensued. Randy thought about moving on, but

Susan had struck up a conversation with some woman he couldn’t place. He didn’t
want to walk away without saying something but he didn’t want to interrupt her either.

“So what do you do?” Paul asked.
“I manage research and development for an information systems company in Little

Rock.” Randy didn’t understand the sudden need to downplay his position.

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Past Lies

“I’d heard you left the state.” Paul’s gaze darted away as if he regretted his words.
Randy nodded. “I did. I moved back here six months ago from Chicago. The

company I work for set up a division in Little Rock and my mother was having health
issues. It seemed like the thing to do. Be close to her.”

“Sorry to hear about your mom. Is she doing better?”
“Yes,” Randy assured him. “Nothing serious, but she’s getting frail. I feel better

being close by. How are your parents?”

“Good. Dad’s still a judge.”
“Good.” Once again an awkward pause. Randy tried not to look too close at Paul.

His blue eyes were dangerous. The intense attraction hadn’t changed in twenty years.
He could easily fall into them and drown, but there was a big “no swimming” sign
hanging around Paul’s neck.

Susan saved him by finishing her conversation and returning to his side. “Paul

Loughton! I’ll be.” Sarcasm sharpened her tone. “Be careful about associating with the
riffraff.”

A memory yanked from the mist of the past startled him. Susan and Paul had a bit

of a history. She loved to provoke the upper crust of high-school society and Paul was
one of her favorite targets. Some things evidently didn’t change.

Maybe he should distract her. “Suz, let’s go check out the food.” Randy grasped her

arm and steered her around. “See you later, Paul.”

“Why’d you do that?” Susan hissed.
“Because we didn’t need a scene. It’s a party not a brawl.”
Susan yanked her arm away. “The egotistical bastard—”
“You didn’t expect him to be here? He was the crème of the crop of our graduating

class. Why wouldn’t he show up for the reunion?”

“I know.” Susan’s lower lip stuck out in a brief pout before she stuck her tongue out

at him. “I thought I was over all the snubs from high school. I guess not.”

Randy laughed. “Is there anyone else we should be looking to avoid?”
“Nah, I’ll behave myself. I promise.” Susan grabbed his hand and danced

backward, tugging him along as she moved to the music of their youth.

* * * * *

Paul watched Randy and Susan as they moved in the tiny area cleared as an

impromptu dance floor. Susan’s harsh reminder of his arrogant attitude in high school
sent a flush of embarrassment rushing through him. It wasn’t until he left the small-
town hierarchy for college and law school that he realized he wasn’t better than
everyone else.

Shame couldn’t account for all the heat rushing through him though. Back then,

he’d noticed Randy. A polar opposite of himself, dark where Paul was fair, unkempt

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where Paul was clean-cut. Even Randy’s clothes tended toward black. Not quite Goth
but close enough to fascinate Paul.

He had refused to admit a fascination with the teenage Randy. Even now he pushed

aside thoughts he shouldn’t have.

He turned to the bartender. “Another beer—no, wait, make that a scotch.” He

needed stronger courage to face the rest of the night.

“Paul!”
His ex-fiancée’s voice turned his stomach. “Make it a double,” he said without

looking over his shoulder. With a deep breath Paul turned to face her. “Diane, how are
you tonight?”

“I’m fine. Why would I be anything else?”
“Just making polite conversation, Diane.” He sighed. He didn’t want a scene. “We

can do that, can’t we?” Turning back to the bar, he tossed some money and snagged his
drink.

“Of course.” The disdain in her tone gave lie to her words.
Before the night was out, he was sure she’d do something to embarrass him.
“Was that Randy Martin you were talking to?”
“Yes, it was. What of it?”
Diane nodded with a self-satisfied smirk. “I remember the rumors about him in

high school.”

“Rumors?” Paul feigned ignorance. The stories he’d heard were a big part of his

fascination with Randy. He had been in his own world back then, but Diane had
straddled the fence with friends on both sides. She made sure everyone knew what was
said about Randy Martin. “What rumors?”

“That he was into boys. Not girls.”
Paul forced a laugh even as his mind wandered into forbidden territory. “What…he

turned you down?”

Diane’s face hardened. “I never gave him the opportunity. But I bet he wouldn’t

have turned you down.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have given him the opportunity either.” Paul clenched his jaw as

he stalked away. She couldn’t know the things he hid deep in his soul. No one knew.
Most of the time he denied his own desires so well he was able to forget them. Tonight,
with past temptation wiggling on the dance floor a few feet away, his denial slipped to
a dangerous point.

This evening—the whole weekend—looked to be torture, but he couldn’t hide now

any more than he could avoid the reunion in the first place. Even less now with Diane’s
insinuations.

* * * * *

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Past Lies

Randy pulled Susan off the makeshift dance floor. “I need a break. You’re killing

me.” He pushed through the crowd toward the restrooms. “Grab me a drink, would
you?” He shoved some money in her hand. “Something cold and nonalcoholic.”

Susan nodded before she headed in the opposite direction.
Although he’d dreaded this weekend, Randy was having a surprisingly good time.

Susan was as much fun now as she’d been in high school. Even more since she wasn’t
trying to get into his pants. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent hours
dancing and just having fun.

Although Randy couldn’t get Paul Loughton completely out of his mind, he’d

managed to regain control of his libido. Randy laughed as he pushed open the men’s
room door. As if he’d ever have a chance of getting Paul in a clinch, much less
horizontal.

He stepped out of the way with a friendly smile as a familiar-looking man exited

the restroom. Of course everyone tonight seemed familiar. Some hadn’t changed much,
some drastically.

When he stepped around the corner into the main part of the restroom, he spotted a

more than familiar set of shoulders standing at one of two urinals.

Great… His cock jumped at the sight. Taking a piss was going to be difficult if his

interest kept rising.

Paul looked over his shoulder. His face paled when he saw Randy.
Or was that Randy’s imagination? Maybe it was the awful fluorescent lighting.
“How’s it going?” Randy asked. He stepped up to the empty urinal. Taking his time

opening his fly, he hoped Paul would finish and leave. Flashing a half-hard cock in a
public restroom could get a body arrested in these parts. Or worse.

“Good. It’s been…interesting.” Paul tucked his penis away before Randy could

sneak a glance.

“Yeah. I wasn’t expecting to have fun. I only came to the reunion because my

mother insisted.” Relief and disappoint warred within Randy when Paul moved to the
sinks. “She can be a little strident when she insists.”

Running water didn’t cover Paul’s chuckle. “I understand. My father is much the

same way. Except instead of pushing me to come here, he wants me to run for the state
house of representatives.”

“You don’t want to?” Randy tucked and zipped. When he turned around, he caught

a glimpse of Paul’s face in the mirror.

“Sure.” A quick flash of something resembling regret darkened his blue eyes. Then

he dropped his gaze to his hands.

“But?”
“It’s a big deal. I’m just not sure I want the public scrutiny.”

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Randy arched his eyebrow. Flipping on the tap, he reached for the soap dispenser.

“Skeletons in the Loughton closet?” He controlled the immediate urge to snicker at his
own choice of words.

“Not really. I’m just not the public speaker my dad is. I like things simpler, quieter.”
Rinsing his hands, Randy nodded. “I can sympathize. I’m not one for a lot of fuss.”

A slight burn of desire circled his stomach then dropped to his balls. For some crazy
reason, his body refused to recognize the impossibility of this ancient crush. “Guess we
should go back out there.”

“Yeah, it won’t last much longer.” Paul tossed the paper towel in the trash. With an

unsteady step, he stumbled toward the door.

“Are you okay?” Randy caught his arm.
Paul shrugged off his touch. “Yeah. A little too much to drink, I’m afraid.”
“Do you have someone to drive you home?”
“Nah, I’ll find a place to sit and sober up first.”
Randy shook his head. “I can drive you home. Can’t have Prestonville’s mayor

getting stopped for DUI.”

“Crap. That wouldn’t be good. I managed to piss off the police chief at the last

council meeting. He’d love to catch me under the influence.” Paul rubbed his eyes with
the heels of his hands. “I shouldn’t have let Diane get to me.”

“Diane?”
The door swung open and two men entered, talking. Paul slipped around them and

out the door before it closed. Randy followed.

“Look,” Randy said, “I’ll say my goodbyes to Susan then come back and find you.

Don’t leave.”

Randy waited until Paul nodded his agreement then he slipped through the crowd,

looking for Susan. He met her near the bar with another vodka tonic in one hand and a
bottle of water in the other. “Hey, I’m going to call it a night. You wore me out.” He
took the water out of her hand. “Are you okay to drive home?”

“I’m fine. Three drinks over three hours are nothing, especially as weak as the

bartender is making them.”

“Are you sure? I could drive you home. I only nursed the one scotch.”
Susan grinned and laughed. “If I thought getting you to drive me home would get

me anywhere, I’d lie and say I’m drunk. But alas, I don’t think I’d have any better luck
tonight than I did twenty years ago.”

Cautious of the drink in Susan’s hand, he pulled her into a quick embrace. “I’ll see

you tomorrow.”

Taking a quick drink of the cold water, Randy hurried back to where he’d left Paul.

As ridiculous as it was, he let his imagination get carried away with thoughts of the

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Past Lies

interesting things he could do to the former jock. After all, what man would turn down
a no-strings blowjob?

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Shayla Kersten

Chapter Two

Paul slipped out the front door and took a deep breath. The warm, humid summer

air didn’t cause the heat curling through his body, but it certainly didn’t help matters.
He wanted to leave before Randy returned, but common sense kept him from running
for his car. Drunk driving would not go down well with his father.

Too bad this backwater town didn’t have anything as citified as a taxi. Anyone he

called would make sure his father knew. His so-called friends were more concerned
with scoring points with Judge Loughton than actually being his friends.

“There you are.” Randy’s voice caught him off guard.
“Yeah. Needed some air.”
“It was getting a little warm in there. Not much better out here.”
Randy stood next to him, not touching, but near enough for Paul to imagine the

heat of his body.

“We need to go by the hotel. I left the car there and the keys in the room.”
Paul bit the inside of his cheek to keep a gasp from escaping. The thought of getting

Randy alone in his hotel room sent desire rushing through him and straight to his balls.
The lack of blood to his head aided the dizzy spinning brought on by the alcohol.

“Come on.” Randy stepped off the curb and took a few steps before he turned back.
Rooted to the spot, Paul forced his feet to move. An unsteady step and he almost

fell off the curb.

“Whoa!” Randy caught him before he hit the ground. “Evidently you had a little

more than you thought.” His hand held onto Paul’s arm.

“I’m okay.” Paul needed to sever the contact. Even a simple touch had his cock hard

and willing. Willing to do what? He’d had limited contact with men. Hand jobs,
blowjobs, always on the receiving end, far from home where no one knew him.

He knew Randy. Worse, Randy knew him. And his alcohol-clouded mind

wandered far from the normal path of his encounters. The idea of touching
Randy…memories of teenaged dreams and fantasies leaked out of where he’d locked
them twenty years ago. “I’m okay!” He yanked his hand away from the other man and
willed himself to walk straight. “Thanks.” His voice softer, “I’m okay now.”

Randy nodded then started across the restaurant parking lot toward the hotel.
Following behind him, Paul watched the ripple and play of Randy’s back muscles

beneath his shirt. His gaze dropped lower and a soft moan snuck out in spite of his best
intentions. His mind wandered through a minefield of ideas. The most dangerous
involved his cock and Randy’s ass.

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Past Lies

Crossing into the hotel parking lot, Paul looked around at the few cars. Not many

people stopped in the back of nowhere. Most of the current guests were probably here
for the reunion. “Where’s your car?” For his sanity’s sake, Paul should go wait by the
vehicle until Randy retrieved his keys.

“Over there. By the room.” Randy gestured in the general direction of two cars.

“The dark blue one.”

The dark blue one. Parking lot lights revealed a dark blue Mercedes S550. A ninety-

thousand-dollar car. Paul snapped his mouth shut before he started catching flies.

Paul did okay as an attorney, made a comfortable living, but without asking for

family money—something he’d never do—he didn’t have the income to afford a car
that expensive. “So I take it the information technology business worked out well for
you.” Proud of his even tone, he suppressed a twinge of jealousy.

“Yeah, it’s been good.” Randy opened the door to his room then stood waiting.
Although his mouth opened to tell Randy he’d wait outside, Paul walked through

the open door. The sudden chill of the air-conditioning sent shivers down his spine.
Terror and desire robbed him of breath. His mouth was as dry as a summer drought
and his heart threatened to beat a hole through his chest.

Randy walked in and let the door swing closed behind him. Pointing to a vague

spot somewhere in the room, he said, “Let me grab my keys.” His scent, a powerful
combination of expensive cologne and musky sweat, added to Paul’s intoxication.

Without thought of consequences, Paul reached out. His hand closed around

Randy’s wrist and swung him around. He slammed Randy against the door with a
thud. Before Randy could react, Paul pinned him in place with his body.

Reason fled as Paul rubbed against the hard body trapped between him and the

door. What little part of his brain function remained noted the hard bulge of Randy’s
erection.

Instead of pushing him away, Randy’s hands pulled Paul closer. One hand slid

down his back and grabbed his ass. Kneading fingers added to the heat of his arousal.

“Fuck…” Paul groaned. He set a steady rhythm against Randy’s body. With the

right pressure he would cream his pants in seconds.

“Slow down,” Randy whispered next to his ear.
Soft lips nibbled on his earlobe. The scratch of slight stubble against his face was a

sharp reminder of what he was doing, but he couldn’t stop now. Shivers of need raced
down Paul’s spine. His throat ached at the idea of those eager lips on his, but he didn’t
kiss. He didn’t touch.

His hands clenched Randy’s hips. Lean muscles instead of rounded curves—he had

to stop. Panic flushed through his body.

He needed to tell Paul the rules but words wouldn’t form. Then the teasing mouth

moved across his jaw and suddenly hard kisses and a warm tongue got in the way of

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Shayla Kersten

speaking. Scotch-tasting heat pushed aside his objection. A groan was all his brain
could manage.

Then Randy’s complacent body moved, pushing Paul backward until the bed

bumped the back of his legs.

Bed—fear threatened to grind everything to a halt until a strong hand slipped

inside the front of his khakis. Rough strokes pressed against his brief-covered cock.
“Yes…”

Paul fell. Fell from his high horse of denial and onto the hard mattress. Randy’s

body went with him, pinning him to the bed. Hands tore at his shirt, tugging the
material up around his chest.

Hot kisses trailed down his neck. A warm mouth sucked at his nipple. Teeth tugged

at the hardening nub. A shudder of helpless desire raced through him. The alcohol…

He’d drunk too much. His behavior wasn’t the result of real desire. Under the

influence…

With the flimsy excuse rolling around in his brain, Paul let his demons out of the

dark recesses of his brain. After this weekend, Randy would be gone. No consequences
would haunt him because the reminder would be in another part of the state. Although
an hour and a half away was far too close for comfort, he couldn’t stop now.

He ripped at Randy’s shirt, yanking and tugging until Randy leaned up enough for

him to pull it over his head.

Rippled abs and lean muscles showed in the dim light of a single lamp. Randy’s

dark eyes glowed with a lust Paul understood.

Rolling Randy off him and onto his back, Paul straddled his waist. Pulling his shirt

over his head, he tossed it to the floor. With slow, deliberate movement, Paul lowered
his chest to Randy’s. Skin on skin for the first time with another man, his strange
emotions threatened to close his throat.

With fingers laced through Randy’s dark hair, Paul pressed his lips against Randy’s

soft mouth and fell into a deep kiss.

Randy couldn’t believe his luck. When Paul slammed him against the door, he

almost came in his pants. Thank goodness he managed to control the urge.

Now with Paul ravaging his mouth, Randy held onto the hard body and enjoyed

the ride. It had been too long since his body soared like this and Paul was a twenty-year
dream come true.

“Yes…” Randy moaned between kisses. “God, you feel good.” He slipped one hand

between their bodies and tugged at the button on Paul’s slacks. “I want to touch you.”

Paul arched his body, allowing more room for Randy to maneuver, but his mouth

didn’t falter. Hot kisses with a wild, searching tongue put Randy on the edge of orgasm.
He needed to slow the proceedings or his little dream sequence would come to a
spectacularly messy end real fast.

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Past Lies

Yanking at the zipper, Randy shoved his hand inside the soft cotton briefs.
“Oh shit…” Paul’s mouth moved from Randy’s and down the side of his neck. Hot

breath gasped against his skin. “I’m going to…”

Randy circled the base of Paul’s cock with his fingers and squeezed hard. The

impromptu cock ring seemed to do the trick for now. “Roll over.”

Paul flopped to one side of the bed. His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths.
Rolling over and to his knees, Randy tugged at Paul’s khakis until he stripped them

down the long legs.

Paul toed off his shoes. They hit the floor with two loud thuds. His pants followed.
Thick muscled thighs topped the long legs. Paul’s long, hard cock peeked over the

top of his briefs, glistening with a drop of pre-come. A thin line of dark blond hair split
Paul’s abdomen as it climbed toward a hard chest covered in thick fur.

The man fit Randy’s fantasy right down to the heavy-lidded smoldering blue eyes.
“God, you’re hot.” Randy swiped a finger over the tip of Paul’s cock, gathering the

moisture.

Paul’s breath caught and held. His gaze followed Randy’s hand as he raised it to his

mouth. When Randy licked the clear fluid from his finger with the tip of his tongue,
Paul exhaled a long groan.

Placing his hand flat against the cotton-covered cock, Randy rubbed the length. “I

want to suck you.”

A moan stretched out into a sharp “Yes”.
Pulling Paul’s briefs down his legs, Randy resisted the temptation to take the thick

flesh in his mouth right then. But this fantasy was a long time in coming true. He
wanted to take his time.

Randy kicked off his shoes then undid his slacks. Shoving both his pants and briefs

down together, he pushed them off his feet.

Crawling back on the bed, he shoved Paul’s legs apart and knelt between them. He

ran his hands up and down Paul’s legs from groin to knee and back again.

Paul squirmed at his touch but didn’t say anything. His gaze never left Randy’s.

Although his lust was unmistakable, Paul’s frown seemed out of place. Unwilling to let
anything spoil tonight, Randy didn’t question his unexpected lover.

Randy leaned forward and ran his tongue around a taut nipple. A wiggle caused

his cock to bump against Paul’s.

With a loud groan, Paul arched up and pressed his erection against Randy’s. The

sound was louder when Randy pulled away. Paul threw his forearm over his face. His
teeth snagged his lower lip.

“I’ve…” Randy stopped before he admitted he had wanted Paul twenty years ago.

Instead, he ran his hands around Paul’s groin but avoided contact with the leaking

17

Shayla Kersten

cock. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered. A perverse need for acceptance by this
man, even now, made him hesitate.

“Oh God…” Paul tried to move his hips but Randy held him down.
“Tell me.” Instead of a soft, encouraging tone, Randy growled. His fingers clenched

Paul’s thighs.

As if waiting for the order, Paul capitulated. “Suck me.” The request opened a

floodgate of words. “Please. I need you.” Mumbling words of desire, Paul reached for
Randy. Pulling him down, Paul’s mouth caught Randy’s. “Please. Please.” He
emphasized his words with quick kisses. “I need to come.”

Randy had enjoyed mild domination games with lovers in the past. Seeing the

former football star begging for his touch, for release, was an incredibly arousing sight.
“But you can’t. Not yet. Not until I tell you.” His fingers couldn’t find a hold on Paul’s
short hair. He tightened his palm on Paul’s head. “Do you understand? You can’t come
until I tell you.”

“I understand.” Paul swallowed the words when Randy kissed him hard.
With a final tug on Paul’s head, Randy licked a wet trail down Paul’s neck. Nipping

his way across a hard biceps, he captured a tight nipple.

Paul arched into his touch with a moan and his hands grabbed Randy’s head,

holding him in place.

“Like that, huh?” Randy used teeth and tongue on the sensitive flesh. “I bet you’d

like nipple clamps.” Fingers dug into his scalp as he attacked Paul’s other nipple. “Too
bad I don’t have any with me.”

“Please—”
A not-so-subtle push against Randy’s head urged him lower. He kissed a path

down the treasure trail of fur toward Paul’s cock. “Impatient much?”

A moan turned into a gasp as Randy licked the soft crown. Fingers tightened on

Randy’s head.

Another lick, this time circling the glans. A quick flick of tongue captured more

salty pre-come and teased the slit.

“Fuck!” Paul’s body shook hard.
“We can, if you want.” Randy stuck a finger in his mouth and coated it with spit.

“You want a hard cock up your tight ass?” He slipped the wet finger between Paul’s
cheeks and circled the puckered ring of muscle.

“No!” was the panicked reply.
“Then you want to fuck my ass?” Randy circled the tip of Paul’s cock with his lips

and flicked his tongue along the underside, just below the crown. Pulling free, he
whispered, “We can do that. I’m flexible.” A shudder ran through Randy’s body at the
thought of Paul’s hard flesh pounding his ass.

“Yes. Yes.”

18

Past Lies

Randy took most of Paul’s length deep into his throat. He pulled back quickly to

avoid the inevitable lunge of Paul’s hips. “When was the last time you fucked a tight
ass?” He licked the length of hot flesh from tip to balls. “Tight, hot and more than
willing.”

Another long swipe of his tongue then Randy sucked Paul’s hot flesh deep again.

Releasing him, Randy growled, “Tell me what you want.”

“I want to fuck you! God help me, please!”
Randy wasn’t ready to put Paul out of his misery yet. Running his tongue down

Paul’s erection, he mouthed the tight balls. Sucking first one then the other, he kept a
tight hand on Paul’s cock.

“Please.” The strangled moan was enough.
Randy moved off the bed. He always kept condoms in his shaving kit, never knew

when he might get lucky. Lube was in there as well, more for aid in jerking off, but
whatever the reason, he was glad he had brought some. He stumbled in his haste to
reach his kit in the bathroom.

It had been almost a year and a half since his last lover. Randy didn’t normally do

casual but tonight was different. Even in high school, he’d dreamed about this man in
his bed. Back then, he probably wouldn’t have known what to do past a hand job, but it
didn’t stop him from dreaming.

Bringing the items back to the bed, he paused to look at Paul.
Sprawled out on the bed with his legs spread and his eyes wild, Paul’s gaze

followed Randy’s arm down to the lube and condoms. His Adam’s apple bobbed with a
hard swallow. His chest shuddered with each hard breath.

Randy climbed on the bed next to him, emptying his hand on the other side of Paul.

“You okay?”

His jerky nod wasn’t very reassuring.
Realization dawned on Randy. “You haven’t done this before, have you?”
Paul’s mouth opened and closed in a good impression of a fish. Finally he shook his

head, a quick almost imperceptible motion.

“We don’t have to. We can stick with the simple stuff.” Randy’s mind raced with

possibilities. He wondered about Paul’s experience with men.

“No. I want to.”
“Okay.” Randy let out a deep sigh. “You have to pay attention to me and do what I

tell you. If you get too enthusiastic, too quick, you can hurt me.” Randy stroked the side
of Paul’s face. “It’s been a while for me.” Leaning in, he planted a soft kiss on the
tempting lips.

Paul’s hand cupped the back of his head and pulled him closer. He kept the kiss

gentle, nibbling, then trailed off. Holding Randy’s head in place, Paul pressed his
forehead against Randy’s. “I haven’t done that until tonight either.”

Randy’s breath caught in his chest. “What have you done? With men?”

19

Shayla Kersten

“Not much,” Paul whispered. His eyes closed and the crinkle of a frown rubbed

against Randy’s skin. “I…never did anything. I let a guy…touch me.”

“Blowjobs?”
“Yes. And hand jobs.”
Randy stroked the back of Paul’s head. “Why is tonight different?” Randy knew he

was pushing his luck. Paul could have a fast revelation and hit the door running. Still,
he wanted to know—now—before things went further.

“I don’t know. I just…wanted you.”
“Wanted?”
“Still do.” Tilting his head until their lips met, Paul’s kiss was hesitant but it seemed

sweeter for it.

“And this isn’t because you’ve had too much too drink? You aren’t going to wake

up with a hangover screaming because you’re in bed with me?”

A soft scotch-scented chuckle blew Paul’s breath on his face. “No. But…”
“But what?”
“No one can know about this. I can’t… My family wouldn’t understand.”
“Yeah.” Randy could imagine the extremely conservative Judge Loughton’s face if

he had any idea his son liked men. “I’m not exactly out to my mother either. And she
still has a lot of friends here.”

Paul dove in for another kiss, this time hard and hungry, as if Randy’s words had

broken a restraint.

Bodies tight against each other, their cocks bumping and rubbing, Randy held on

and enjoyed Paul’s touch. Side by side, not enough pressure to get off, the teasing
touches kept desire simmering, almost irritating with need.

Randy reached behind Paul for the bottle of lube. “Hold out your hand,” he

whispered. Thumbing open the snap cap, he held the lube where Paul could see it.

A trembling hand presented itself.
“You need to open me first. Stretch me out before we can do anything else.” He

squirted some of the thick liquid down the length of Paul’s finger. Closing the lube, he
tossed it on the bed within close reach. Randy spread the lube around Paul’s fore and
middle fingers. “Reach behind me.”

Paul hesitated at first. Quickly glancing back and forth between his lube-covered

fingers and Randy’s face. With a hard swallow, his hand slid behind Randy. Slick,
trembling fingers pushed between Randy’s cheeks.

Smiling, Randy nodded to his uncertain lover. Cold lube pressed against his

opening. “Spread the lube around then push one finger inside.” Randy forced his body
to relax and wait for Paul’s intrusion. A long sigh accompanied the blunt finger. “Been
too long,” he whispered. He leaned into Paul’s chest.

“Does it hurt?” Paul paused, his finger barely inside.

20

Past Lies

“No, feels good.” Rolling his hips, he moved on Paul’s finger. “Deeper.”
Paul obeyed. “It’s so hot. I mean, heat hot.”
“I know what you mean. There’s nothing like it. Almost viselike tight and so very

hot.” As Randy spoke, Paul stroked his finger in and out of him. “Slip in another
finger.”

In spite of the length of time since his last fuck, Randy accepted the second finger

without any discomfort. “Paul, need more.” He snagged the lube again. His cock ached
with anticipation. The greatest feeling in the world was coming with a hot dick deep in
his ass. The idea of Paul’s cock in him aroused him even more.

Paul jumped when he snapped the lid open. “More lube? Am I hurting?”
“Yes, more lube, and no, not hurting. Not what you’re doing anyway. My dick is so

hard it hurts. Been too long.”

With a final stroke, Paul eased his fingers out of Randy’s ass.
“Don’t stop.” Randy’s moan was close to a whine.
Paul pushed at Randy’s shoulder. “Roll over.”
Settled on his back, Randy looked up at Paul as the man straddled his thighs.
His frown warred with the gleam of lust in his eyes. The hard cock jutted out proud

and glistening with pre-come. The crinkled forehead smoothed as Paul leaned forward.
His mouth brushed Randy’s.

Paul couldn’t stop now if the world were coming to an end. He needed to touch, to

taste. Randy’s lips fascinated him. Soft surrounded by the harsh grate of stubble.

Lean muscles, a flat chest… Paul licked a path down Randy’s neck. Each moan and

gasp from the other man increased Paul’s excitement. Using the hand not sticky with
lube, he reached between their bodies and grasped Randy’s cock.

Close to the same length, Randy’s cock was slightly thicker than his own. The idea

of hot flesh buried in his ass made his breath catch. He banished the temptation to ask
Randy to make the idea a reality. Tonight was already too full of firsts. His mind could
only handle so much. His body wasn’t going to take much more either.

“Randy,” Paul whispered. “Can I see you again? After tonight?” The words leapt

out without thinking. But then, Randy was hiding his sexuality from his mother. Lived
in another town. He would be safe. Paul circled a flat nipple with his tongue.

“Yes…” Randy arched into Paul’s touch.
Smiling against Randy’s skin, Paul pushed away the rising feeling of terror. He was

playing a dangerous game, but the feel of Randy’s body against his banished the idea of
never doing this again.

Leaving Randy’s nipple, he licked his way down Randy’s torso. Where Paul was

furry, Randy was smooth. Circling his tongue around Randy’s navel, Paul made a
decision.

21

Shayla Kersten

Scooting down until he was between Randy’s legs, Paul wrapped his hand around

Randy’s cock. Circumcised like Paul, the thick flesh was familiar but not. He knew what
to do here. Knew what he liked.

Long strokes with his thumb rolling over the head gathered moisture to ease the

next slide down the length. Leaning over, he swiped his tongue across the head and
sensitive slit. The salty taste of pre-come exploded on his taste buds.

Randy arched off the bed. His fingers fisted the bedspread under him. “Paul!”
This time Paul circled the crown, first with tongue then with his lips. A musky

smell mixed with the remnants of fragrant soap. He buried his nose in Randy’s pubic
hair and breathed deep. A familiar scent from so many years ago, a locker room full of
jubilant, sweaty football players… He pushed aside the thought.

Reaching for the lube, he coated his fingers again. Pushing Randy’s legs up so they

bent at the knee, he found the tiny puckered hole. This time he pushed inside without
hesitation. His mouth sucked the underside of Randy’s cock just below the crown as his
finger pushed deep inside the hot channel.

A strangled moan from Randy let him know he was doing it right. And he wanted

it right—good. For too many years, doing this—with Randy—had been the content of
his darkest dreams.

In spite of what he’d said to Diane, he remembered the rumors about the strange

kid all dressed in black. Incomplete stories, no details supplied but left to his
imagination. Randy Martin liked to suck dick… Randy took it up the ass… The whispered
gossip of clueless teenagers.

And every time he heard something, thought about it, his cock sprang to life hard

and needy. The vision of Randy naked against him had haunted his dreams through his
senior year and on into college. Hearing Randy would be at the reunion resurrected
those dreams.

Paul closed his mouth over the thick flesh. The taste of come teased his tongue. Half

of Randy’s length was all he could manage. Something that needed practice. Something
he was willing to do.

“Paul!” Randy’s fingers pulled at Paul’s hair. “I’m going to come.”
The words were slow to sink in. Paul moved his mouth away but the first spurt of

hot liquid caught him on his face. An automatic reaction, Paul licked his lips. The salty
taste wasn’t as bad as he’d thought it would be. Randy’s ass muscles contracted around
Paul’s fingers as he came.

His hand milked Randy’s cock as the fingers of his other hand eased out of his tight

ass. Rubbing most of the white fluid off the head of Randy’s cock, Paul leaned over for
one last taste.

“Shit.” Randy tugged his head up. “Too sensitive.”
Sweat glowed across Randy’s skin. His eyes were half lidded and a sleepy grin

twisted his lips upward. “If that’s your first time doing that, you’re a natural.”

22

Past Lies

Paul slid up Randy’s body, not caring about the slick come splattered across his

body. Soft kisses and caresses were good but he needed more. “I still want to fuck you.”
Paul needed relief. Watching Randy come, he’d nearly lost it.

“Oh yes. Right now is a good time. I don’t think I could be any more relaxed unless

I was unconscious.” His hand fumbled around for the lube. “Use lots of lube. You can
never have too much.” He grabbed a condom and handed it to Paul. Randy pulled his
legs up, cradling Paul’s body between his thighs.

“Right.” With a final kiss, this time deep and tongue twisting, Paul rose to his

knees. “You want to turn over?”

Randy shook his head. “Like this.” He hooked his hands behind his knees and

pulled his legs up. “I want to watch your face.”

The sight of Randy so open was nearly too much. Paul grabbed his balls and

yanked. The urge subsided some but he wasn’t sure he’d get very far before he
exploded. Ripping open the condom, he rolled it down his length quickly. Too much
more stimulation and he would burst.

He poured cold lube into the palm of his hand then spread it on his aching cock.

The chill helped take the edge off a little but not much. More lube on his fingers, and he
pressed into the puckered ring. Twisting his fingers around, he realized what Randy
meant by relaxed. The muscles gave easier than before.

A soft moan from Randy made him look up. With his mouth open and his eyes

closed, Randy looked as if he were in heaven. “Oh yeah. Fuck me.”

Twinges of curiosity played at the edges of his mind. He’d never considered anal

sex would be so pleasurable on the receiving end. “Does that feel good?” It had to feel
good or who would do it? Right?

“Yes… Turn your fingers up, just a little.”
Paul obeyed. As he grazed a hard knot of something, Randy’s body jerked.
“Fuck, yes. Right there.” Randy’s flaccid cock twitched and began to fill again.

When Paul pushed harder, Randy moaned and pulled his legs higher. “Oh, come on.
Fuck me already.”

“You’re getting hard again.” Paul was impressed. Fast approaching forty, he didn’t

have that kind of recuperative powers. And Randy was the same age.

“Prostate stimulation. Does it every time.” Randy’s eyes flew open. His dark hair

wild and his face flushed, he hissed, “Now will you stick your dick up there! Please!”

Paul laughed and poked Randy’s prostate a final time before he pulled his fingers

free. Wrapping his hand around his cock, he scooted forward until the tip touched
Randy’s anus.

“Just go slow,” Randy whispered. “I’m relaxed, but it’s going to be a tight fit. If I

say stop, you have to stop.”

23

Shayla Kersten

Paul nodded as he pushed forward. Tight wasn’t enough to describe the feeling.

The crown wasn’t completely in and the ring of muscle clamping down on him was
incredible.

Randy took a deep breath and exhaled a long sigh. The muscles gave and accepted

half of Paul’s cock.

The heat was unbelievable. Struggling to keep from coming, Paul stopped moving.

Panting for air and control, he held there for a minute.

“You okay?” Randy asked.
Nodding, Paul whispered, “You?”
“Oh yeah. Give me more.”
Paul closed his eyes. The sight of Randy, legs held high, sweat glistening across his

body along with come smeared on his stomach… It was too much.

Pushing forward again, he heard Randy’s deep breathing as he slid home. Balls-

deep in tight, velvet heat, he felt as if he’d come home. A lifetime of lying to himself
peeled away like a snake shedding its skin.

Opening his eyes, Paul came face-to-face with the truth. He was gay and nothing he

did would change that fact. No woman had ever made him feel half as good as Randy.

Emotion clogged his throat but his body knew what to do. Slow, short strokes with

Randy’s encouragement turned long and hard. Faster toward the edge of orgasm he
plunged. Deeper into hot depths.

And then it was over. With pleasure so intense it bordered on pain, he let go.

Randy’s body clenched around him. His legs wrapped around Paul’s waist, tugging
him forward. Jerking against Randy’s body, he fell forward. Pressing against slick,
sweaty skin, his mouth sought Randy’s lips.

Tongue and teeth clashed between moans and grunts. “You feel so…” Paul

clenched his eyes closed against a sting of tears. So much of his life wasted on what he
should do, should be. And now he could never go back to pretending, but neither could
he reveal the truth.

24

Past Lies

Chapter Three

Randy woke with a heavy arm slung across his chest and his legs pinned by a

muscular thigh. “Paul…” The small lamp on the bedside table was still on. The clock
showed nearly three in the morning.

Reviewing the night before, Randy couldn’t believe the incident wasn’t a dream.

But the slight soreness in his ass and the muscles in the back of his legs testified to
reality. Not to mention the naked man with his limbs sprawled across him.

Randy rolled out from under Paul’s arm and slipped out of bed. Moving quietly, he

went into the bathroom. Apart from a little beard burn and some serious bedhead hair,
he looked as he did yesterday. But now, he’d had Paul Loughton in his bed, in his ass.

A shiver ran through him that had nothing to do with the air conditioner. His cock

twitched at the memory of hard kisses and an even harder cock. The smell of sweat and
sex added to the excitement.

If he was going to pee, he’d better do it now before a hard-on interfered. He took

care of business quickly. He wanted to be back in bed, savoring the night. Although
Paul said he wanted to see him again, he wouldn’t hold him to it. Words said in the
middle of sex weren’t binding.

“Randy?” Paul’s voice floated through the closed door.
“I’m here.” He opened the door and came face-to-face with Paul. “I didn’t mean to

wake you.”

Paul’s gaze dropped to Randy’s half-hard cock. “I’m glad you did.” Hunger

clouded his eyes when he looked back up. He pushed into the bathroom, maneuvering
Randy against the sink.

“Round two, eh?” Randy wrapped his hand around Paul’s rapidly filling cock.
“Uh-huh,” Paul murmured as he pressed his lips against Randy’s.
A moist tongue swiped the seam of Randy’s mouth, urging him to open. Not that

he had a problem complying. He met Paul’s tongue with matching fervor. A battle
ensued but there were no losers.

When Paul broke the kiss for air, he nuzzled Randy’s neck. “God, we stink.”
Randy chuffed a soft laugh. “Yes, we do. Of course, there is a perfectly serviceable

shower right behind you. We could,” he stroked the length of Paul’s cock, “finish this in
there.”

“Oh yeah.” Paul tugged Randy forward as he shuffled backward.
Paul’s hands roamed down Randy’s back to his ass. Fingers parted his cheeks and

sought his entrance.

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“Are you sore?” Paul nibbled on Randy’s neck while his fingers played.
“Some. But it’s expected and it’s a good ache.”
“Too sore?”
Randy laughed at Paul’s implication. “You want to do it again?”
Nodding, Paul flashed a sheepish grin at him. “Can I?”
“Go find the lube and another condom. I’ll start the shower.”
With a quick kiss that missed most of Randy’s mouth, Paul took off on his mission.
Randy flipped on the water and grabbed a couple of towels, tossing them over the

shower-curtain rod. By the time the water was warm, Paul had returned.

Randy stepped into the spray and Paul followed.
Setting his prizes on the edge of the bathtub, Paul moved into the stream of water

with Randy. His body pressed against Randy’s back and his hands roamed up and
down Randy’s torso. “Does it always feel good?”

“Getting fucked?” Randy clarified.
“Yes. You seemed like…”
Randy leaned his head back against Paul’s shoulder. They were almost the same

height. Something Randy hadn’t noticed before. Paul always seemed bigger than life.
“Yes, it almost always feels good. Sometimes it can hurt with an inexperienced partner
or one in too much of a hurry. But most of the time the feeling is incredible.” Turning
his head toward Paul, he continued. “You felt amazing. Perfect.”

Paul twisted his neck until his lips met Randy’s. The awkward position didn’t

lessen the erotic sensation. Paul’s arms tightened around Randy, squeezing hard and
his cock lined up with the crack of his ass. Need seared through Randy and his cock
hardened.

“Shower,” Paul murmured. He released his hold on Randy and reached for the

soap. Rubbing the bar on Randy’s chest with one hand, he spread the slick lather
around with the other. Fingers tweaked his nipple then the soap moved lower.

Randy leaned into the hard body behind him and let Paul soap his dick. Long,

slippery strokes combined with the spray of warm water had him relaxed and tense all
at the same time.

“Feels good.” The early hour and comforting embrace held Randy in stasis, almost

afraid to move. He didn’t want to wake up to find it was just a dream.

Paul spun Randy around. His arms clamped around him and one hand dipped to

Randy’s ass. The soap teased his hole as the warm water soothed the slight ache.

His soapy front slid against Paul’s body. Randy reached behind him and relieved

Paul of the soap. Twirling the bar in his hand, he built a thick lather. Switching the soap
to his other hand, he reached between them. Grasping Paul’s cock, he slowly stroked
the suds along his length.

“Oh shit.”

26

Past Lies

“Too much?” Randy whispered.
“I want you again. Now.”
Randy nodded and stepped out of Paul’s arms. He let the water stream over his

shoulder, rinsing the soap from Paul’s cock. Then he let the spray rinse his back and ass.

Turning around to face the shower wall, he stuck his ass out in what he hoped was

a sexy temptation. It seemed to work.

Paul grabbed the condom and lube. The rip of the condom wrapper sounded loud

over the running water. Fingers coated in cold lube teased his anus.

“I’m stretched already. From earlier.” Randy glanced over his shoulder. “Just fuck

me.”

Paul’s face contorted in a combination of frown and grin.
Randy turned back to face the wall, resting his forehead on the cool tile. The blunt

tip of Paul’s cock pressed against his entrance. Exhaling hard, Randy relaxed his body
and Paul slid home in one stroke.

“Oh God.” Paul pressed his face against Randy’s shoulder. “Still so tight, so hot.”

He pulled almost free and slammed deep. “Need you…need this.”

His whispered moans sent tremors of need through Randy. “Fuck me hard.”
Paul didn’t hesitate. His body reared back and rammed in again. Faster, harder,

each stroke deeper, grazing past Randy’s prostate. Fingers dug into the flesh of Randy’s
hips. Bruising was guaranteed. Still Randy urged him on. “Harder.” His moan stretched
out into infinity and turned into a keen of pleasure.

Grabbing his cock, Randy stroked his length in time to the brutal attack on his ass.

He’d be sore for days after this, but it’d been so long since someone had ridden him
rough. “God, yes…” Randy’s semen splattered the wall, hard bursts of white liquid. His
ass clenched around the length pounding his ass.

“Oh shit, shit, shit…” Paul’s body jerked against him. His fingers dug deeper into

Randy’s flesh as Paul yanked him back on his cock. “Holy shit!” Paul came to an abrupt
stop, his groin pressed tight against Randy’s ass. Tremors of his orgasm teased Randy’s
abused passage.

Paul leaned heavy against Randy. His rapid breath warmed the skin of Randy’s

back. “That was… Oh shit, that was unbelievable.”

“Yeah, it was. But I don’t think I’m going to be able to sit down for a week.” Randy

buried his face in the crook of his arm.

“Are you okay?” Paul’s hold on Randy gentled. “Please tell me I didn’t hurt you.”
“No, you didn’t. Not really.” Randy’s legs trembled and his knees had turned to

jelly. “I wanted it hard. But I’m going to fall down any minute and that might hurt.”

Paul pulled away a little too fast.
“Slowly!” Randy hissed. “Slowly,” he said with less force.
Although Paul eased his cock out at a gentler pace, the sting wasn’t much better.

27

Shayla Kersten

“Yeah, not sitting down for maybe two weeks…”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Randy shook his head. “I pushed you because I wanted it. Silly concept that I

always pay for later, but sometimes rough is better than gentle.”

Leaning over, Paul snagged the forgotten soap after discarding the condom.

Lathering his hands, he gently washed between Randy’s cheeks. His fingers teased a
light touch over his sore anus.

Randy rested his forehead against the wall and let Paul take care of him. It was kind

of nice having someone who would. But that’s not what this was about.

He’d left behind the idea of an open relationship when he left Chicago. Even if this

thing with Paul lasted beyond the weekend, hell, beyond tonight, it would be a secret,
hidden from prying eyes. Paul could no more come out than Randy could.

Paul manhandled Randy into the full spray of the shower and ran his hands over

his skin, chasing away the remaining soap. He scattered kisses along Randy’s neck and
shoulder.

Wrapping his arms around Paul, Randy leaned heavy on the hard body. Confusing

thoughts—the sex, the early hour—all conspired against him.

“Come on,” Paul whispered. He leaned around Randy and shut off the water.

When he yanked open the shower curtain, chill air invaded his warm cocoon.

The rough towel grated against his skin but the sensation pulled him out of his fog

long enough to finish drying himself. He followed Paul out of the bathroom and to the
unused bed.

After switching off the lamp, Paul crawled under the covers after him. Snuggling

close, his warm body sent the chill away. His breath slowed as sleep tugged at his
consciousness.

Paul’s arms tightened for a brief second as his breath whispered against Randy’s

neck.

Sleep fled as the words sunk in. Paul did not just say that!

* * * * *

Randy woke to daylight shining through the curtains and an empty bed. He knew

last night wasn’t a dream. The ache in his ass was evidence enough, but when he rolled
over, a note propped against the lamp greeted him.

See you later— P
So he hadn’t run fleeing from his budding homosexuality. That was a good sign.

But maybe Randy had imagined Paul’s whisper in the dark. Wishful thinking for what
he had left behind?

28

Past Lies

But then, he hadn’t left a lot in Chicago. He and his last boyfriend split over a year

before the move six months ago. Randy hadn’t dated since then. Until last night. If a
night of fantastic sex could be called a date.

“Probably not.” Randy sighed. While the note gave him hope for a repeat

performance, date or not, Paul’s whispered “I love you” in the dark scared the shit out
of him.

* * * * *

The day looked to be as hot as Randy’s night had been. The temperature soared to

almost one hundred and it was just past noon. Although the picnic started at eleven,
Randy took his time getting ready. His mind kept getting locked in a circular argument
over Paul’s words.

If last night was his first full sexual encounter with another man, Paul could be

mistaking lust for love. But then again, why had Paul jumped him in the first place? The
man had too much to lose.

Prestonville’s collective small-minded attitudes had been one of the reasons Randy

fled as soon as he graduated. The town’s attitudes wouldn’t have changed much in
twenty years. The majority of the townsfolk wouldn’t accept Paul as gay and those that
would wouldn’t support him. Not openly anyway.

The short walk from the parking lot to the pavilion where the picnic was held left a

light sheen of sweat on Randy’s back and neck. He had hated the hot, humid summers
even as a teenager. Now after years in a cooler climate, he loathed the heat.

Glancing around from the edge of the picnic area, Randy sought Paul’s broad

shoulders. Instead he found Susan’s skimpily clad figure.

“Hey! I was beginning to think you were standing me up.” On her tiptoes, she

planted a quick kiss on Randy’s cheek.

“Guess I had more to drink than I thought last night. Woke up with a headache.”

The lie slipped off his tongue with such ease. He was good at hiding his private life.
“Took a couple aspirin and lay back down for a while.” His gaze ran down her body
and back up again. “Don’t you look hot? And I’m not talking about the temperature.”
Best way to deflect questions was turn the topic to the other person.

“Thank you!” Susan twirled in a slow circle. Her pale yellow bikini top set off her

tan perfectly. Her cleavage put in a rather spectacular showing as well. The bottom of
her suit was hidden by a long multicolored sarong-like skirt tied at the hip.

“Is my memory going or are those bigger than they used to be?” Randy arched an

eyebrow and wiggled his fingers in the general direction of her chest.

A small blush crept up her neck and teased the edge of her face. “Okay, I should

have known you’d notice.” She leaned closer. “Bought and paid for. Great deal. I was
dating the plastic surgeon.”

29

Shayla Kersten

Randy laughed and let her tug him by the arm toward the pavilion. As they drew

closer, he caught sight of Paul. Long, lean body dressed in dark shorts and a white T-
shirt. The pale material set off a wonderful tan. Randy hadn’t noticed last night, but he
hadn’t been able to see past the muscles and hard cock.

He puffed air in a short gasp. He needed to keep his thoughts clean. Already his

cock decided it was interested in a rematch with Paul. Good thing he stuck with loose
shorts and a long T-shirt.

“Didn’t I see you leave with him last night?” Susan’s gaze rested on Paul.
“He needed a ride. Drank too much.”
“Uh-huh…” From Susan’s tone, she wasn’t buying his explanation. “And you were

drunker than you thought last night, hence the hangover.”

“Susan, don’t go there.” He turned her around and marched her in the other

direction.

“Go where, Randy. I know you, remember? I know how you lusted after him in

high school and I’ve always suspected the proud scion of the Loughton family had a
thing for cocks.”

“Do what?”
“Oh, his gaze always lingered on your ass more than a straight man would consider

seemly.” Susan yanked her arm out of Randy’s grasp.

“Well, it’s not like that and don’t you start spreading around gossip.”
“I’m not.” She frowned and her eyes narrowed. “You like him. After the way he

acted toward anyone not in his clique in high school, you like him.”

“It was twenty years ago. People change, Susan. Look at us. I’m a respectable

businessman and you’re a pediatric nurse. Looking back, I’m surprised we didn’t end
up dead in a ditch. We changed. Maybe he did too.”

She shook her head. “Maybe, but watch your ass. He’s used people his entire life.

You probably won’t be any different.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him back
toward the party. “But for now, I’ll leave him—and you—alone. Now buy me a drink.”

Laughing as they walked back to the pavilion, he caught Paul looking at him. He

shot him what he hoped was a reassuring look then glanced away. He’d avoid Paul
today to keep the gossip from starting. Someone else could have seen them leave. It was
stupid to think they’d walked from the restaurant to the hotel without anyone noticing.

He had no idea how he’d contact him after the reunion. Last night, Paul said he

wanted to see him again. If there’s a will there’s a way, but it needed to be a cautious
way.

Randy waded into the crowd. Susan disappeared, waving and calling out to

someone.

Out in the sunshine, recognizing people was easier. Randy’s memory wasn’t what it

used to be. Familiar faces blurred by twenty years of life. Randy nodded and smiled at
each hello, each greeting.

30

Past Lies

“There you are.”
At first, Randy wasn’t sure where the female voice came from or even if it was

directed at him.

“Randy Martin.”
Turning he saw Diane Warren. This was one face he recognized. She hadn’t

appeared to age at all. “Diane. You’re looking good.”

“I should. I’ve worked hard enough at it.” She patted her jet black hair. “And I must

say you are no longer the gangly Goth boy I remember.”

“Fortunately.”
“I hear you’ve been wildly successful. Rumor has it, you may be the richest

graduate in the class.”

Randy shook his head. “I wouldn’t know. I don’t know how much everyone else is

worth.” Although she could be right.

When the company he worked for went public, his stock options alone had made

him a millionaire. Money didn’t mean much except he had the ability to take care of his
mother. His only real trapping of wealth was his car. His house was modest compared
to some of the mansions the realtor showed him when he moved here.

“Well, you know how rumors are. A little word here and there and suddenly

everything is blown out of proportion.”

“I don’t let talk bother me.” Her words seemed like a veiled threat, but what could

she know.

“Oh, but some people can’t handle even the slightest hint of scandal.” Her gaze

trailed through the crowd and settled on Paul.

“Guess it’s a good thing I don’t care what people think.” Anger curled through his

stomach. He didn’t know if she actually knew something, or if she was testing him. He
wasn’t playing her game. “It was nice to see you again, Diane. Hope to see you later.”

He strolled away as if he didn’t have a care in the world. His mind raced with

possibilities. Had she seen Paul leaving with him? Entering his hotel room? What could
she know? And how could she use it against Paul?

Shaking his head, he walked toward the refreshment table. Faced with a choice of

beer, soda or water, Randy chose water.

“Too much to drink last night?”
Randy tried to control his grin at Paul’s voice. He schooled his face to something

more neutral before he turned around. “A little dehydrated today.” From serious bed
calisthenics last night.

“Me too.” Paul raised his bottle. “I should watch how much I drink at these things.

Wouldn’t want to do anything I’d regret later.” The twinkle in his eye reassured Randy.

“I just ran across Diane Warren. Does she have a painting aging in a closet

somewhere?”

31

Shayla Kersten

Paul grimaced and his upper lip curled with distaste. “No, just a plastic surgeon on

retainer.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Watch what you say to her. She has an axe to
grind with me.”

“Oh?” Randy took a long drink of water.
“Yeah, she’s my ex-fiancée.”
Randy choked and sputtered water all over Paul. “Shit. She acted like she knew

something.”

“I have my boat here. Want to go out on the lake for a little while?”
“Are you sure? Diane was—”
“I’m not worried about Diane. She has her own secrets to hide.” Paul motioned

toward the lake and a Mastercraft ski boat.

Royal blue and highly polished, the boat looked as if it could hold eight to ten

people. Paul hurried through the crowd, almost losing Randy in his haste.

“What’s the rush?” Randy asked when he caught up to him.
“I don’t want anyone asking to go with us. I wouldn’t be able to say no.”
“Is this wise?”
Paul shook his head as he grabbed the rope mooring the boat to the shore. “Get in.”
Scrambling over the front of the boat, Randy settled next to the pilot’s seat. Paul

followed with more grace as if the boat were an extension of him.

“Where we going?”
The engine roared to life. “Just around the lake and back.”
Randy did a mental shrug and settled back for the ride. A perfect day for boating.

The cooling wind from the forward motion, the day clear and the sun bright…and a hot
hunk piloting the craft. Why complain? He’d find out what was on Paul’s mind
eventually.

Paul sent them across the lake at high speed. A few minutes later the boat eased

into a hidden cove on a small island. Although he remembered people talking about the
islands on this lake in high school, he’d never been to them. His crowd didn’t have the
money for boats.

“Come on.” Paul crawled out of the boat, pulling the rope until the bow scraped

across the soft soil on the bank. He tied it off on a tree.

“What are we doing here?”
Paul smiled. “Making out maybe?”
“Yeah. As much fun as that sounds, showing back up with kiss-swollen lips and

beard burn might give your ex a little too much ammunition.”

“Shit.” Paul’s face fell. “I didn’t think of that. Should have. I was a little rough this

morning.” He ran his hand across his jaw. “Sorry about running out. I woke up before
dawn and thought it would be a good time to leave. You looked so peaceful I didn’t

32

Past Lies

want to wake you.” A lustful grin replaced his crestfallen expression. “Maybe a little
kiss, no face touching?”

“You’re nuts.” Randy glanced around the thick foliage. No one could see anything

from the water. Looking up, or even from the air. He stepped into Paul’s personal space
and captured his face between both hands.

Lips barely touching and a hint of tongue produced the sweetest moan from Paul.

Randy’s cock took serious interest in the proceedings. He pulled back a little and
grinned. “And that is all we can afford right now.”

“Damn.” Paul adjusted his cock. “I need to see you later. Tonight.”
“Are you sure? Someone could have seen us going to the hotel last night. It might

not be safe.”

“I’ll be careful. I can park away from the hotel and walk over.” Paul’s fingers teased

Randy’s arm. “I just… I want to see you again.”

Still a little reluctant, Randy nodded. He couldn’t stop a grin as anticipation curled

through his groin. “We may have to limit some of our activity. I’m having enough
trouble walking. I’m not looking forward to the hour and half drive home tomorrow.”

“I can handle that.”
Randy slid his hand down Paul’s chest then to his shorts. “And I can handle this in

other ways.” He squeezed the hard bulge.

“God…” Paul wrapped his arms around Randy and buried his face in Randy’s

neck. “I had no idea…”

“That it could be so good?”
Paul sighed but kept his hold on Randy. “That I was gay.” He chuckled. “I’ve

convinced myself for years it was just a fluke—when I found myself turned on by
another man. I don’t know what happened last night, why I decided now is the time to
find out for sure, but I’m glad it was you.”

“Me too.”
“And while I can’t…come out,” Paul straightened and met Randy’s gaze, “I’d like

to see you again. I mean after this weekend.”

“I’d like that too.” Randy planted another careful kiss on Paul’s full lips. “And

today is going to feel like it’ll never end.” Pressing his forehead against Paul’s, he
whispered, “We should go back to the party. The longer we’re gone, the more ammo
you hand your ex.”

“Yeah… Come on.”
Climbing back in the boat, Randy forced himself to relax, especially his cock. His

mind kept teasing him with visions of blowjobs in the woods. If he didn’t control his
lust, he’d have a rough time mingling with his former classmates.

The short trip back to the party ended too quickly. As he climbed out of the boat,

Randy stumbled. Paul caught him before he hit the ground. Laughing at his own
clumsiness, Randy let go of Paul.

33

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Looking up, Diane Warren’s dark eyes flashed with anger before she turned and

stalked up the bank to the pavilion.

The woman was definitely trouble. Randy needed to make sure Paul understood

just how much.

34

Past Lies

Chapter Four

Paul stood outside Randy’s room, huddled close to the door in the shadows. A dim

light glowed behind tightly drawn curtains. As he lifted his hand to knock, the door
opened.

After slipping inside, the door shut behind him. Dressed in a robe with his hair wet,

Randy body slammed him against the wall.

“I’ve been horny all day.” Hard kisses punctuated Randy’s words. “Every time I

saw you walk past—all I could think about was getting you naked.”

“Me too.” Not to be outdone by the slimmer man, Paul turned the tables. Spinning

Randy around, he pinned him to the wall. His hands tore at the tie on Randy’s robe. “I
thought that damn party would never end.” The tie slipped free and the robe parted to
reveal nothing but skin. “And you, dancing with Susan. Shit. Did you have to shake
your ass so much?”

Randy grabbed Paul’s head and held him still. “I knew you were watching.” Hard

kisses rained across his face. “The idea of you drooling over my ass… I couldn’t help
myself.”

“I wasn’t drooling.” Paul laughed and returned Randy’s frantic kiss. “Well, not

quite anyway.” His hands wandered over Randy’s body—across the smooth chest,
down ripped abs, around to the tight ass.

A soft hiss breathed against Paul’s face. “Easy. I’m still sore from last night.”
“Sorry. I just…want you so much.” And he did. All his life, Paul had floundered his

way through relationships, numb. The aching emotion, the soul-searing sex he’d always
heard others talk about just wasn’t there. Until now.

Working his way down Randy’s chest, he licked a tight nub of a nipple. A hard

chest instead of soft breasts. He should be freaking out, like all the times he woke hard,
or worse, soaked in come after dreaming about a hard body and a thick cock. But with
Randy it was different. Or maybe the difference was because he’d finally admitted he
was gay.

He’d whispered “I love you” to Randy after he fell asleep just to try it on. See if the

mind-blowing sex and the almost instant connection between them made the words
seem real. Although he didn’t think he’d gone that far, the words didn’t tie his gut in
knots. Maybe the possibility for genuine emotion had finally shown up in his life.

But for another man. Hiding that fact from the world wouldn’t be easy. Especially if

he reacted to Randy’s presence as he did today. He’d force his gaze away only to find
himself looking at the man again. If someone noticed…

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“God, I need you.” Introspection shoved aside, Paul needed relief from his day-long

dance around Randy.

“Come on,” Randy whispered. Pushing Paul backward across the room, his hands

peeled through layers of clothes, leaving a trail from the door to the bed.

By the time they reached the first bed, Paul was naked and more than ready.
Randy pushed Paul down on the mattress then shed his robe. “I’m going to

introduce you to the fine art of frottage.” A grin quirked his lips.

“And what does that mean?”
“Fancy word for rubbing…”
With a single swift move, Randy flattened Paul to the bed. His hot body pressed

tight in all the right places. A thick cock lined up next to Paul’s. With long kisses as a
fine accompaniment, Randy moved against Paul.

Heat and friction sent frissons of desire through Paul from his mouth to his cock.

Not enough pressure though. Pulling his legs up, he wrapped them around Randy’s
thighs. “Oh yeah…” The immediate increase in contact made the vulnerable position
worthwhile.

His thoughts flashed on Randy. Last night, legs up and body open for Paul. The

intense heat in his eyes, the passion of his body caused a twinge of curiosity. A slight
shift, some lube and Paul could find out what put the look of ecstasy on Randy’s face.

Fear cooled his wondering.
“What’s wrong?” Randy stopped moving except for his hand against Paul’s face.
“Nothing.”
“You tensed up. Am I hurting you?”
Paul shook his head. “No. I just…”
“Just what?”
“Later…” Paul pulled Randy’s face down. Pushing past Randy’s hesitation, his

tongue searched the inside of Randy’s mouth. “I need you now,” he whispered,
pushing up into Randy’s heat.

The steady rhythm resumed. Tight bodies close together, cocks rubbing in frantic

friction. The long day of teasing foreplay ended with a mutual gasp, clashing tongues
and liquid heat smeared between their bodies.

“I like rubbing,” Paul moaned. “I never knew…”
“Why?” Randy smoothed his hand across Paul’s forehead.
“Why what?”
“Have you never been curious? Checked out the Internet?”
“I wouldn’t admit I was curious even to myself. And when the occasional stray

thought popped up, paranoia over getting caught pushed it aside.” Paul wondered
what he would have done if he had known. It wouldn’t change anything. He’d never

36

Past Lies

have had the courage to tell his father. Anyone he might have been interested in could
only be a long-distance relationship. He’d never dare do this with anyone in town.

“And now that you know?”
“I need to keep seeing you.” Paul stroked a finger down the side of Randy’s face.

“Discreetly.”

“Yeah.” Randy rolled off Paul and pulled a towel out from under a pillow.
“Wait.” Pulling the towel from Randy’s fingers, Paul set it aside. “Our come mixed

together.” He swirled a finger through the creamy mess. “So hot.”

“And so messy. You’re like a kid in a candy store.” Randy leaned back against the

headboard with a laugh.

“Does it bother you?” Paul stared at the mixed seed on Randy’s stomach then at

Randy.

Shaking his head, Randy pulled Paul closer. “No, I find it incredibly sexy.” A soft

kiss brushed Paul’s lips. “I find you incredibly sexy.”

* * * * *

The beeping alarm startled Paul from a dead sleep. A very masculine arm reached

across him and slammed the snooze alarm. Randy…

A shift of bodies and Paul’s back was lined with warmth. A thick erection nestled

between his ass cheeks. His own cock woke up, filling and lengthening as he pushed
back against Randy.

“I don’t want to get up,” Paul whispered in the dark. The clock showed four in the

morning. They’d agreed he should leave before dawn.

“I don’t want you to leave, but it’s better if no one sees you here.” Randy matched

Paul’s slow movements. “Come stay with me next weekend. My house is in the middle
of nowhere, no neighbors, no one to worry about.”

“Yes.” Paul pushed harder against the cock rubbing deep in the crease of his ass.

Randy’s balls brushed his opening with each stroke. A small fire ignited in Paul’s belly
and spread through his groin. “Will you fuck me?” He whispered the words so soft he
didn’t think Randy had heard him.

“If you’re sure…but not now. Next weekend.”
Paul couldn’t find his breath. Need and desire robbed him of the ability to think.

“Why not…now…”

“Because when I fuck you, I want to take my time, make it fantastic. Not a rushed

fumble in the dark.” His warm mouth nibbled at Paul’s neck. “Come visit me next
weekend.”

Nodding, Paul twisted around to meet Randy’s lips. His lover’s hand slid down his

stomach and wrapped Paul’s cock in tight heat.

37

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“Next weekend then. But now—come for me.” Long strokes accompanied by

Randy’s hard press against his ass pushed him toward the edge. “And next weekend,
I’ll fuck you into oblivion.”

Randy’s words pushed him over. His body convulsed in sweet contractions. Warm

liquid spurted on both his stomach and his back. “Yes!”

* * * * *

The intercom sputtered then came to life. “Paul, come in here.”
His father’s voice grated on his nerves. Since the reunion, Paul couldn’t help but

wonder if somehow Randy had marked him. Could someone tell by looking at him that
he’d had sex with a man? As stupid as the idea was, he’d avoided his father as much as
possible for the last two days. Not an easy task when they had offices together near the
courthouse.

He didn’t wait for a second summons. After hurrying the length of the hallway, he

poked his head around the doorframe to his dad’s office. “What’s up, Dad?”

“Did I hear right? Did you break off your engagement with Diane Warren?”
Paul moved into the office and closed the door behind him. This was not going to

be a happy conversation. No sense in the whole office hearing. “Yes, I did.”

“You know you’ll never make it in politics without the right wife. You have to start

talking up a possible candidacy for the statehouse if you are going to run the year after
next. And polls show married candidates are more electable.”

“Dad, she wouldn’t have worked out. She was more interested in the size of my

inheritance than in me.”

“So, the woman’s got a right to know she’ll be taken care of.” The old man stood

and paced in the wide space behind his desk. “I don’t need to tell you that you are the
last best chance for this district.”

He meant last best chance for his own dreams. His father had wanted to make it in

state politics but lost each of the elections he entered. All except judge.

“You need to clean up your life and get busy finding a wife. You aren’t getting any

younger. You should have given me grandchildren by now.”

So he would have more subjects to rule? No thanks.
“And what’s this I hear about you hanging out with that Martin boy at the reunion.

You don’t need that kind of trouble.” Judge Loughton stopped his pacing. Leaning
forward, he planted his hands on the desk. “He’s not the type of people you need to
associate with.”

“Trouble? Dad, from what I understand, he’s a millionaire. He’s president of a

division of an international company with major connections. Sounds like he’s the kind
of friend I’ll need in state politics.” Paul regretted spouting off as soon as he finished his
sentence. His dad didn’t need to know specifics, but something deep inside didn’t want
to hear Randy badmouthed.

38

Past Lies

“Really. Hmph.” His father shrugged. “Maybe the kid was redeemable after all.”
“Look, I need to finish some paperwork before the end of the day so if you’ll excuse

me.”

“No, I won’t excuse you. You need to straighten things out with Diane and soon.”
“I’m not marrying her. She’s nothing but a gold-digging, over-aged Barbie doll.

She’s not right for me.”

“I beg your pardon.” Judge Loughton’s gaze narrowed. “You are talking back to

me.”

“Oh good grief.” Paul stood then stormed toward the door. “I’m thirty-eight years

old, Dad. If you don’t pay attention, then yes, I’ll talk back. I’m not marrying Diane.
Have a good day.” Paul slammed the door behind him. Then the nervous sick feeling
twisted his gut.

For the first time in his life, he’d stood up to his father. Not gone around him, not

cajoled or reasoned with him, not waited until the old man calmed down—stood up to
him and said his piece.

For years Paul had chafed under the iron-fisted control of his father. But until now,

he’d had nothing worth fighting the old man about. He knew his father well enough to
know a serious conflict would have him disowned. Although his father’s money didn’t
mean anything to him, his mother’s happiness did. A rift between him and the judge
would cause Betty Loughton unnecessary pain.

The thought of leaving was tempting, but instead he stormed down the hall to his

office. He did have work to do. His job wasn’t just a front for the Loughton heir. He was
a damned good lawyer. If only he’d be left to do it in peace.

Bursting through the door, he groaned at the sight greeting him.
Diane… With her ass propped on his desk and a self-satisfied smirk on her over-

painted face.

“What are you doing here?” He’d never hit a woman before but right now…
“Why, I’m here to talk about a date for the wedding.” She slid off the desk and

sauntered toward him. “I’m sure your father has explained everything to you.”

“The only thing we discussed was the fact that I’m not marrying you.” Paul

sidestepped around her and sought the shelter of his desk.

A frown almost showed on her Botoxed brow. “But he said you’d listen to reason.”
Paul shook his head. “Your end run around me isn’t going to work. I don’t love

you, don’t want you and won’t marry you. How much clearer can I make it?”

“Your father said you wouldn’t risk your inheritance.”
“Then I guess he doesn’t know me very well.” Paul pointed to the door. “Don’t let

the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

Eyes narrowed, Diane stiffened her back and angled her chin up. “I don’t care for

your attitude, Paul Loughton.”

39

Shayla Kersten

“I don’t care for your presence, Diane. Now leave.” Paul held his breath until the

door closed behind her. Falling into his chair, he heaved a sigh of relief. Facing down
his father and Diane in one day? He needed a drink.

Rubbing a scrap of paper in his pocket, he decided he needed something more as

well.

* * * * *

For the third time today Randy looked at his cell phone to make sure it was on. Paul

said he’d call in a few days. Wednesday should count as a few, right?

“God, can I be any more pathetic?” He tossed the phone in the drawer next to him

and slammed it shut.

Sunday, before Paul left the hotel room, Randy had given him his cell phone

number. Paul hadn’t offered his in return, but he promised to call.

The computer code on his laptop screen mocked him. He’d been working through it

for more than an hour looking for the glitch causing an interruption in a subroutine.
Something like this normally took him minutes to find, but his thoughts kept straying.

With a long sigh, he scrolled back up several pages and forced himself to focus. He

had a meeting this afternoon and he needed this done before then. His gaze darted back
and forth along the lines of code. “Damn, there it is.” A few keystrokes and a couple of
minutes later, the program whizzed to a finish without breaking.

Randy leaned back in his chair and sighed. He didn’t believe in love at first sight.

Definitely not love at first fuck, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Paul. As distracting
as his thoughts were at work, it was worse at home. Especially at night when he needed
to be sleeping.

As much as Randy had dreamed about Paul in high school, and even sometimes

after, he never considered it to be love. A crush maybe. But love? Back then, he didn’t
know what love was. The feeling he had then had crept back into his life sometime
during the weekend. Or resurrected itself from wherever it lay dormant.

The hardest thing to forget was Paul’s wish to bottom. The idea of being someone’s

first, something he’d never had the opportunity to do, was daunting. Not every man
like anal penetration. If Paul didn’t, the shine on the budding relationship could dull
fast.

His phone chirped and vibrated with an incoming call. Yanking open the drawer,

he scrambled among pens and paper clips for the buzzing phone.

“Martin here.”
“Randy?”
A long sigh eased out of Randy as he collected his thoughts. “Yes. Paul?”
“Yeah… How’s it going?”

40

Past Lies

“Better now. I was having issues with a tricky program but I have it under control.”

After a brief hesitation, he continued. “And it’s nice to hear your voice.” Randy rolled
his eyes at his silly schoolgirl impression.

“Is the offer for this weekend still good?”
“Yes, absolutely.” Randy straightened in his chair. His mind flitted through a

laundry list of things he needed to finish at work so he could have an undisturbed
weekend.

“I thought I’d drive up Friday night.”
“That’d be great.” The idea of seeing Paul put a kick in his cock. Randy tried to

picture anything that would quell his rising erection. “Maybe I could call you back
tonight and we can figure out the details.”

“Oh… Okay.” Paul’s disappointment came through the phone line loud and clear.
“Is something wrong?”
“Nothing. We can talk tonight.”
“I don’t mean to rush you but I have a meeting in,” he glanced at his watch, “fifteen

minutes.” One he couldn’t show up for with a serious woody. “Can I call you back at
this number?”

“Yes. It’ll wait until tonight.”
“Good. I’ll talk to you then.” The phone went silent. Randy stared at the display to

make sure the call had ended.

Something about Paul’s voice didn’t sound right. If he was having second thoughts

about seeing Randy again, he wouldn’t be making plans to visit.

Randy shook his head to clear his mind of images of Paul. He needed to get his act

together for the meeting.

* * * * *

Paul stared at the disposable cell phone on the lamp table. He’d bought it after

work. Maybe he was paranoid or maybe very careful, either way he wasn’t taking
chances. Now he willed it to ring.

Hours had passed since he spoke with Randy. How long could a meeting take?

Unable to concentrate on work he’d brought home, he tried watching television.
Channel surfing through a hundred and fifty channels wasn’t helping.

Pushing his recliner back as far as it would go, Paul let his thoughts roam back to

the weekend. Visions of Randy, legs high, offering his body, or in the shower, ass out
and ready.

Paul’s cock twitched with interest, lengthening inside his jeans at an almost

uncomfortable pace. He adjusted his erection. Touching himself through the rough
denim sent a pleasurable twist through his balls.

41

Shayla Kersten

“Why not?” he whispered to the ceiling of his living room. Flipping the button

loose and unzipping his jeans, he slid his hand down the length his cock though the soft
cotton briefs. Arching his hips, he tugged some slack in the tight material around his
balls. The heel of his hand pressed against his cock while his fingers kneaded his balls.

Closing his eyes, his imagination pictured Randy touching him…rubbing his cock,

teasing his balls.

Paul ran his nails up the length then slipped his hand into his underwear. Heat

seared his palm as he wrapped his hand around his shaft and flicked his thumb over
the tip.

The trill of a phone interrupted his fantasy. He yanked his hand out of his briefs

and grabbed the cell phone, but it wasn’t ringing. Fumbling to pull the recliner upright,
Paul rolled out of the chair and stumbled to his feet. He grabbed his jeans and ran
across the room to his other phone. He didn’t stop to look at the caller ID.

“Hello?”
“Paul, honey, it’s Momma.” As if he didn’t recognize her voice.
“Hi, Mom.” Paul cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear while he tucked

and covered. Fastest way to lose an erection… “What’s up?”

“Your father told me about you and Diane.”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t love her and I don’t want to marry her

no matter how good a politician’s wife she’d be.”

“Well, good for you. I’m not calling to talk you into it.” Her voice was droll and her

tone almost sounded like laughter. “I don’t think she is right for you either.”

“Okay, then why are we talking about it?” Paul paced the floor, watching the cell

phone on the lamp table. His mind needed to be on his mother’s words not his lover’s
body.

Paul stopped short. His lover. Was that what Randy was?
“Paul?” Now his mother’s tone was aggravated.
“I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I said, you need to stick to your guns on this, but I wanted to warn you. Diane

stopped by here earlier. She said she wanted to let you know there’s been talk around
town about you. She wouldn’t say exactly what.”

“What the—”
“I know. She claims she came to me because you wouldn’t answer her calls. There’s

something not right about that girl.”

“You’re telling me? She’s been hounding my every step for the last two weeks—

since I broke it off with her. She wasn’t interested in me. All she’s concerned about is
how much money she might have access to.”

“Spending your inheritance already, eh?”

42

Past Lies

Paul laughed. “Yeah, I guess. Do me a favor, will you? Spend it all before you go. I

don’t want the responsibility of carrying on the Loughton fortunes.”

“Well, I’ll see what I can do, but your father usually tries to curb my excesses.”
The idea of his mother as a big spender cracked him up. “You are the soul of

thrifty.”

She was the only one in the family who could make his father back down, but she

left Paul to fight his own battles.

“I hear you stood up to your daddy today.”
Could she read his mind? “Yes, but it didn’t go very well. I retreated.”
“You know what they say…a good retreat is better than a bad stand.”
“True.” The trill of the new cell phone startled him. Randy… He turned to stare at

it, wondering how to hang up with his mother without being rude.

“You should do it more often. He needs to be shaken up every now and then. He’s

too used to getting his way.”

As the cell phone stopped ringing, Paul considered the one thing that would really

shake him up.

“Paul?”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“What’s wrong? Besides your father and your strange ex-girlfriend.”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing nothing or nothing you want to talk about now?”
A smile broke his suddenly solemn mood. She’d used that line on him all his life.

“Nothing now.”

“Okay. Tell me when you’re ready.”
Paul loved his mother, but he wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready to hear that her pride

and joy was gay. “Okay.”

“I’ll let you go. I love you.”
“Love you, Mom.”
The line went silent as the cell phone beeped to let him know he’d missed a call.

* * * * *

Randy waited through several rings. Instead of Paul, a generic voice answered and

asked him to leave a message. “Fuck.” He waited for the message to end and the
requisite beep.

“Paul, it’s Randy. My meeting is running late. Really late. We’re on a dinner break

now. A problem with a new program, big problem. And the client is coming in
tomorrow. I have no idea when I’ll get out of here.” A knock at the door preceded his
assistant’s entrance.

43

Shayla Kersten

“Food’s here,” Sarah whispered.
Randy covered the mouthpiece with his hand. “I’ll be there in a minute. Thanks.”

After she left, he continued his message. “Call me and let me know what’s too late to
call back. If we’re done early enough, I’ll call you tonight.” Randy wanted to say more
but he couldn’t be sure who would hear the message. “If not, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

He flipped the phone shut and debated shoving it in his pocket. Instead, he tossed it

back on his desk. The rule of no cell phones in the programming meetings was his. He
couldn’t very well break it.

Following the noise of his team, Randy headed to the conference room. The evening

was going to be a long one.

44

Past Lies

Chapter Five

Paul rolled over and stared at the ceiling. He refused to look at the clock again.

He’d left Randy a message that he’d be up until around midnight. He usually went to
bed earlier but knew sleep wouldn’t come easy. His body thrummed with excitement.

Safe from any more family phone calls, he let his mind wander back to his earlier

train of thought. Randy touching him and more.

The vision of Randy’s face as Paul penetrated him recurred more frequently than

others. The flushed face and glassy-eyed look of ecstasy taunted his curiosity. Randy’s
demanding need in the shower had been the most arousing sight Paul had ever
witnessed.

Paul kept his hands at his sides and let his imagination stir a flush of heat into a low

burn. His body responded and his cock twitched against the sheets. With a vision of
Randy’s mouth teasing him, tasting him, Paul gave in to the growing ache and brushed
his hand over his length. A feather touch that only made him want more.

The trill of the cell phone sent him rolling toward the nightstand. Instead of

interrupting his growing arousal, the sound added to it.

“Hello.” Paul held the phone away from his mouth to hide his panting breath.
“Paul. It’s Randy.”
“I know. You’re the only person with this phone number.” Paul didn’t really mean

to let that slip.

“Really?” A soft laugh followed a long pause. “I think I’m flattered.”
“I think I’m paranoid.” Paul plumped his pillow then lay back on the bed. “I bought

a disposable phone.”

“Might be a good idea, considering.” A soft chuckle came through the line. “So I

could have left any kind of message I wanted earlier.”

“What kind of message did you want to leave?” Amazed at how easy it was to flirt

with a man, Paul let the idea pass over him. One weekend hadn’t changed his sexuality;
it had only forced him to admit the truth.

“Something describing the things I plan to do to you this weekend.”
Paul ran his palm down his erection. “You could tell me now.”
“Are you in bed already?”
“Uh-huh. You?”
“Yeah.”
“So if we were in bed together, what would you do?” The image alone was enough

to send a shiver down Paul’s spine.

45

Shayla Kersten

“First, I’d kiss you. Long, wet kisses with lots of tongue.”
“Kissing is good.” Paul couldn’t help his raspy tone. His mouth had suddenly

become dry. “I liked kissing.” He also couldn’t keep from sounding like an idiot. All his
blood rushed south of the border.

Having never kissed a man until Randy, Paul had been surprised just how sexy the

rasp of a five o’clock shadow was against his face.

He wrapped his hand around his cock and squeezed. His thumb rolled over the tip.
“You did seem to get into it. I especially liked the first one.” Randy chuckled.

“Nothing like being slammed against a wall and pounced on.”

“I don’t know what came over me.” The truth of his statement dampened his

arousal a little. “I never…started anything. I mean, before…”

“I understand. But when you decide to do something, you evidently do it right.”
“This weekend.” Paul cleared his throat. “What we talked about.”
“Have you changed your mind? You can if you want. Some men don’t want to be

penetrated. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“No, I haven’t changed my mind.” If anything, Paul’s thoughts focused on the idea

and wouldn’t let go. “I just wondered…” How the hell did he talk about anal sex? The
idea scared him as much as it turned him on.

“Wondered what?”
“You were sore.”
“Yes, still am a little.” Randy laughed a soft, throaty sound. “And it’s a little

distracting because each ache and pain brings back the memory of you.”

“So it does hurt.”
“It can.” The phone was silent for a minute. “Like I said, you don’t have to bottom.”
“Bottom?”
“Bottom means receive. Top, gives. You really are new to the gay thing, aren’t

you?”

“Yeah. And as much as it scares me, I can’t help but be turned on by it.” Paul

palmed his cock, pressing down.

“Never felt the desire to do any research, look it up on the Internet?”
“I refused to think of myself as gay, Randy. I wouldn’t let myself consider it. I’m

still…” He realized he’d used present tense. Maybe Randy didn’t catch it.

“Sometimes it’s tough to admit. I’ve known men who fool around on the side while

telling themselves they aren’t gay because they screw women.”

“I guess in a way that’s me.” Paul’s erection flagged with the serious nature of the

conversation. “I was married, you know.”

“Really? I knew you were engaged.”

46

Past Lies

“I married a woman I met in college—Ann. She was sweet and didn’t demand

much. I think she went to college to find a husband.” Paul rubbed his forehead between
his fingers and thumb. “I needed a wife to prove the attraction I felt to one of my frat
brothers was just a passing thing.”

“Was he the one you…?” Randy’s voiced trailed off.
“Yeah. I let him give me hand jobs, blowjobs. No kissing, I barely touched him and

never sexual. I still don’t understand why he put up with me.”

Randy’s breath snuffled amusement against the receiver. “Many guys have

fantasies about doing a straight guy. He might have been one.”

“Maybe.” Paul exhaled a long sigh. “I haven’t thought about him in years, until last

weekend.”

“Why me?”
How did he answer that one? “Were you gay in high school?”
Fortunately Randy went along with the change of topic. “I’ve always been gay, but

I wasn’t really out until college.”

Paul nodded to himself. “I used to watch you.” He rolled over on his side. “I’d

heard the rumors and couldn’t get the idea out of my head. Watching you at the
reunion… I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And I was…” Paul swallowed hard then
exhaled softly. His voice lowered to a whisper. “So turned-on…”

“I’m flattered.”
“Maybe the alcohol gave me courage. Or just made me reckless. Add in Diane’s

taunting.”

“What did she say?”
Paul winced at the slip. “She just reminded me of the rumors.”
“She always was a bitch.” Randy’s sharp inhalation of breath sounded suspiciously

like a yawn. “How’d you end up with her?”

“Long story. And you’re already yawning.”
“I’m sorry. It was a bad day. Didn’t help that I was anxious to return your call.

Made the meeting seem like it would never end.”

“Did you work out your problem?”
“Yeah. The client will be there in the morning for a demonstration. After the hell we

went through, I hope he’s happy with it.”

As much as Paul didn’t want to hang up, the glowing red numbers on the clock

warned him it was almost twelve thirty. He had a court appearance first thing and it
sounded as if Randy had a big day ahead. “I should let you get some sleep.”

Another yawn distorted Randy’s voice. “I guess… I’m sorry. It’s not the

conversation, I swear.”

“I know. It’s late. We can talk tomorrow.” Paul worried he’d assumed too much. “If

you want.”

47

Shayla Kersten

“Yeah, but it will probably be late. I have to entertain the client tomorrow night.”

Randy huffed his dismay. “I prefer writing code.”

“Typical computer geek.”
“I guess. But you’re right. I need some sleep.” Randy laughed. “I was expecting a

different kind of conversation tonight.”

“Me too. We’ll try again tomorrow.”
“Good night. Sleep well.”
“You too.” Paul waited for the phone to go silent. He felt like a teenager, not

wanting to be the first one to hang up. Fortunately Randy didn’t hesitate.

Paul glanced at the display to make sure the call had ended. After tossing the phone

on the nightstand, he rolled onto his back. Randy planted the thought of the Internet
but Paul wasn’t sure he wanted to go that route. Somehow the idea of letting Randy be
his guide through gay sex seemed more appealing, definitely more arousing.

His cock seemed to agree as his erection returned. Stroking his length, he knew the

next two days would be an eternity.

* * * * *

The alarm clock startled Randy out of a great dream. Instead of Paul’s mouth

around his cock, it was his own hand. With the dream so vivid, Randy was already
primed and leaking. A few quick strokes and his come splattered on his stomach.

“Damn.” If he’d stayed asleep a few minutes longer, he’d have had his first wet

dream since his high school days.

Grabbing tissues from the box on his nightstand, he did a hasty cleanup before he

rolled out of the bed.

“Thank God it’s Friday, but this is going to be a long day.”
Hurrying into the bathroom, he stood for a long time waiting for his cock to finish

wilting so he could pee.

Paul would be here before seven this evening. Randy had stayed late every night

working on the high-priority projects so he could have an undisturbed weekend.

As much as he liked his job, the hours were long. Of course without a personal life,

other than his mother, it hadn’t really mattered. Diving into work had always been his
way of ignoring loneliness. With Paul’s rather spectacular entrance into his life, he’d
begun ticking off responsibilities to delegate.

Halfway through shaving, Randy stopped, razor in mid-stroke, and stared at

himself in the mirror. “Damn, I’m doing it again.” Falling too easy. Why did he go
overboard?

Paul was experimenting. If his words and actions over the last week were the truth,

he-man had been in denial for over twenty years. Even if he was ready to admit he was

48

Past Lies

gay, he might not be ready for a long-term relationship. Or any relationship beyond
physical.

In spite of his inability to tell his mother, Randy really wanted the happily ever

after. He’d fooled around enough in his youth, and even now the risks he took back
then scared the shit out of him. Not just worry about AIDS, but the drugs, alcohol and
partying. Although he and Susan laughed about the “most likely to end up dead in a
ditch” thing, it was too close to the truth. The fact he lived to see twenty had been a
miracle.

“Enough. Enjoy the now.” He continued his shaving and let his thoughts focus on

the work he needed to finish today.

* * * * *

Paul glanced at his watch again. Nearly four. This afternoon would never end. He

couldn’t focus on the legal brief he had been trying to work on all day. Fortunately, he
had Monday to finish it. Then again, after this weekend, there were no guarantees he’d
be able to concentrate.

The aftermath of the things he wanted to do, where his mind had gone all week,

could make Monday just as distracting. The half-aroused state of his cock wasn’t
helping matters. Every time his secretary came in to his office, his paranoia kicked in.
Could she tell he was aroused? He swore the smell of sex filled the office.

She never acted as if she suspected something, didn’t look at him funny. Each time

he’d pushed his fear aside and interacted with something close to normal.

Now with still an hour to go, he wanted to push everything aside and just leave.
“Paul,” his father’s voice preceded the old man’s entrance into his office.
“Yes Dad.” Great. As if his secretary wasn’t enough. And his dad never came to his

office.

“Stop by the house tomorrow about ten. I have some things I’d like to go over.”
Paul’s heart raced as he pushed aside a rush of anger. His father didn’t know he

had plans, but it was just like him to assume he’d obey. “Can’t. I have plans.”

“Plans? Well, cancel them.”
“I can’t.” Paul needed to tell him something, but what? Something close to the truth

was always better, easier to remember than a lie. “I’m going to Little Rock for the
weekend. Randy Martin is having a get-together at his place and invited me to join
them.”

“Randy Martin again?” His dad’s craggy white eyebrows arched then his forehead

settled in a heavy frown. “I’m not sure I want you hanging around with that boy.”

Paul choked on a laugh. “Dad, he’s not a kid and neither am I. I told you the man is

a millionaire. He’s well placed to help with any future campaign, getting in with all the
right people since he returned to Arkansas.”

49

Shayla Kersten

“Hmmm… Maybe you’re right.” The old man’s thoughtful expression faded into

one of suspicion as he glared at Paul over the rim of his glasses. “But why do you have
to go for the weekend?” His bushy eyebrows arched.

“Because he invited me. And it’s a lot easier than dealing with driving up in the

morning and back tomorrow night.”

“Humph.” His dad’s expression softened. “Are you taking Diane with you?”
“Damn it, Dad, how many times do I have to tell you I broke up with her? I never

want to be in the same room with her again.” The mention of his ex sent anger rushing
though him. Standing, he faced down the judge over the wide desk. “Why can’t you
drop this? I’m not marrying her and that’s the end of it.”

“Then you’d better find someone to marry. Because I want you settled within the

next six months. Otherwise, you’ll be butting up against the filing deadlines for
elections and the kickoff of your campaign. Can’t have a wedding pulling attention
away.”

“I don’t understand why I have to marry anyone. There is nothing wrong with

being single.”

“Yes, there is. You’re nearly forty years old and except for that brief fiasco in

college, you haven’t managed to keep a long-term relationship. Idle speculation can be
twisted into vicious mudslinging. I’ll not have the election lost because the voters think
my son is a pansy-assed fairy.”

Paul couldn’t respond. His jaw dropped open, he tried to form a denial but the

words wouldn’t come out. He also couldn’t stop the flush burning its way up his neck
and face.

“See what I mean. If someone accused you of that, your lack of a response could be

misinterpreted.” Judge Loughton’s eyes narrowed. His lips thinned as he pressed them
together. “You wouldn’t want that, now would you, son?” His words ground out from
between clenched teeth.

With that not-so-subtle threat, the judge stormed out of the office, slamming the

door behind him.

Paul stared at the closed door, his heart in his throat.
He knew. Somehow his dad knew the truth.

* * * * *

Randy glanced around the living room one more time. He’d gone through the

house four times already. His housekeeper had done a fantastic job as usual, but
nervous energy kept him from settling in one place.

He’d left the office the minute the clock struck five. His staff had strict orders not to

disturb him unless the business was going up in flames. He’d told them he needed to
regenerate. Things had been so hectic he wasn’t exactly lying. They didn’t need to know
the details of his regeneration plan.

50

Past Lies

The quick stop by the local Wal-Mart for supplies had been interesting. Thank

goodness for self-checkout lanes. Last weekend had used up most of his lube. If Paul
was serious about bottoming, they’d need lots of the stuff.

Lube and condoms were in the drawer of the nightstand. Groceries were stocked,

alcohol in the bar and a variety of the latest movies on DVD were stacked near the
television. As much as he’d like to spend the entire weekend in bed, physical limitations
had to be taken into account.

And it’s not exactly as if they could go anywhere. In Chicago, they would have had

dinner out, hit a few clubs, danced half the night. In between great sex. “Mustn’t forget
the great sex.”

Randy looked at his watch. Nearly seven. An Italian sauce simmered on the stove.

Water was ready to boil for the pasta. Once Paul arrived, Randy could have dinner
ready in half an hour or it could wait a while.

Randy’s cock was all in favor of the waiting a while. All day his unruly genitals had

reminded him of the possibilities of the upcoming weekend. At one point, Randy
thought he’d have to take things in hand in the bathroom, or at least make an excuse to
run home for something. As his mind began compiling a list of things guaranteed to
make him lose his hard-on, his mother called. Problem solved.

With another glance at his watch, Randy walked to the front window. The view

down the drive would show anyone coming for nearly half a mile. The house was
situated on a hill in the middle of twenty acres of nowhere and he loved it.

His cell phone trilled at his waist. He yanked it from his belt and answered before

the second ring. “Hello?”

“Randy?”
Randy let a soft sigh escape at the sound of Paul’s voice. “You need better

directions?”

“No, actually…”
“You’re not coming.” Randy didn’t realize until just then how disappointed he was

at the idea.

“I’m not sure I should.” Paul’s voice cracked slightly.
“Did something happen?”
“I’m not sure.” A raspy inhalation of breath.
“So you aren’t coming.”
“Actually, I’m here, at the end of your driveway… But maybe I should turn around

and go home.”

As let down as Randy was, he knew he shouldn’t push Paul to do anything he

wasn’t sure of. “If you think it’s best.” But he just couldn’t leave it at that. “You could
come on up for dinner. It won’t take long to finish.”

“You cooked.”

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Shayla Kersten

“Well, I figured we’d have to eat sometime and no one delivers out this far.”
A snort of laughter eased Randy’s mind. “I can see why. You are more in the

boonies than I am.”

“Ah, but I’m only twenty minutes from the big city. Best of both worlds.”
A big brown pickup truck eased into view on the long driveway. “You’re lucky.”

Paul’s wistful tone made Randy think he was talking about more than his housing
situation.

Randy willed the truck to keep coming. Something must have really scared Paul

since they’d talked this morning. Then his mood was light, playful, almost flirting.

Paul’s truck picked up speed on the graveled road until it finally stopped near the

house.

“Pull into the garage.” Randy had left the door open and made sure the space was

clear of the usual lawn equipment and stored junk. “I’ll be there in a minute.” He
flipped his phone shut and practically ran toward the stairs leading to the split-level
garage.

As he stopped at the door to catch his breath, he heard the truck door slam.

Gathering his composure, he pushed the door open and hit the two switches just inside
the garage. One started the rumbling garage door closing, the other turned on the lights
in the soon-to-be-dark room. “Hi there.”

Paul’s smile wasn’t exactly forced but there didn’t seem to be much joy in it. “Hi.”

He carried a small suitcase, like an airline carryon bag. Tight faded jeans and a loose
gray T-shirt made up his outfit. The casual look suited Paul.

As much as Randy wanted to steal a kiss—and more—he held back. Instead, he

motioned toward the open door and the stairs beyond. “Come on up. Are you hungry?
Dinner can be ready in twenty minutes.”

Although his house had three bedrooms, he’d planned on Paul sleeping with him.

Now with whatever was bothering Paul, he wasn’t so sure showing him to the master
bedroom was such a great idea. Until they at least talked.

“Set your bag over there. We can get you settled after dinner.”
Paul set the bag in the indicated corner of the living room then looked around. His

gaze stopped on the three large windows facing west. “Great view.”

“Thanks. It’s the main reason I wanted the house.” The scenery was phenomenal.

With the house set high on a ridge, the windows looked down on forest and fields and
just past them. The Arkansas River did a slow lazy curve around the edge of the
property. Right now the setting sun was putting on a spectacular orange, red and
yellow show.

Something in Paul’s bearing seemed different. His shoulders not held quite as high,

his head not tilted as proud.

Might as well bring it out in the open now. “Tell me what happened.”

52

Past Lies

Paul glanced his direction then back to the sunset. “I think my dad suspects

something.”

53

Shayla Kersten

Chapter Six

“Suspects what? About us?” A slight panic jumped through Randy’s stomach. His

mother still had friends in Prestonville. If rumors spread, his mother would be
knocking on his door with questions he didn’t want to answer.

Randy moved to one of the two chairs flanking the sofa. He needed to sit.

Motioning Paul toward the other, he forced his body to relax into the chair.

Nodding slightly, Paul took him up on the offer. The setting sun highlighted the

dark golden blond hair with hints of red as he perched on the edge of the couch. “Not
us. I think my dad knows about me.” All the stiffness in his posture faded and Paul
sank into the overstuffed sofa. “He said something today that made me think he knew
or suspected. And he’s pushing me to marry, whether it’s Diane or someone else, but
settle on someone soon.”

“It’s the twenty-first century, not the Dark Ages. He can’t very well force you to

marry.”

Paul laughed. “I don’t know. All my life I’ve done as my father told me. The only

thing I’ve managed to avoid is marriage. As much as he wants grandchildren—a
grandson, I should say—to carry on the family name, my marriage has been a constant
topic of conversation. The last year it’s only gotten worse. That’s why I asked Diane to
marry me.”

“Didn’t you two date in high school?”
“Yeah, but we broke it off when I left for college. Or I broke it off. She was ready for

the engagement ring as a graduation present. I wasn’t ready to be tied down.” Paul ran
his hand down his face and squeezed his chin. “She ended up marrying someone else
but he was killed in a hunting accident about three years ago. Dad put the notion in my
head that a widow would be a great wife for a political candidate. He pushed until I
was tired of hearing it. So I proposed about a year ago. And evidently he had been in
cahoots with Diane the whole time.”

“So what made you change your mind?” Randy wanted to move next to him and

offer comfort but was afraid Paul would bolt like a rabbit caught on the road.

Paul snorted an unamused laugh. “The reunion. Everything from the past coming

back. I just couldn’t keep up with the pretense. She wasn’t marrying me, she was
marrying the Loughton money. That may have been okay with her and my father, but I
couldn’t do it. I guess I can understand her position. Her late husband left her in debt.
His life insurance covered most of it and left her with an annuity to live on but not in
the lifestyle she wanted.” He glanced at Randy. “Plus the way he died was a big shock
to everyone. He fell out of his deer stand, his legs were twisted in rope and he was

54

Past Lies

found hanging upside down, dead. No one is sure how long he hung there before he
was found. He’d gone to the deer camp the day before alone.”

“Damn, what a way to go.” Randy shuddered at the idea.
“I think his death twisted her mind. She wasn’t as bad before he died.”
“You made the right decision regardless of her reasons.”
“But my dad came in this afternoon. He wanted me to stop by tomorrow so we

could talk. I knew it would be about Diane.” Paul looked directly at Randy for the first
time since he arrived. “I told him I was coming up here. Told him you’d invited me and
you’d made a fortune in the last twenty years. Said I needed to cultivate you as a
possible campaign donor.”

“Good cover story and one I’m willing to promote.”
“But then he said I had to marry, either Diane or someone else, it didn’t matter but

as a forty-year-old man with one brief failed marriage, people might talk. He said, and I
quote, ‘I’ll not have the election lost because the voters think my son is a pansy-assed
fairy.’”

Randy wasn’t sure what to say so he kept his mouth closed. Angry heat flushed

through Randy at the old man’s attitude, but then, he’d never told his mother for fear of
a similar reaction. “I’m sorry.”

“I was so looking forward to this weekend then he has to take all the wind out of

my sails. He’s done that to me my entire life. In high school, no matter what I did, it
wasn’t good enough—captain of the football team, top ten-percent GPA, scored high on
my college entrance exams—it didn’t matter. It was never enough. When I passed the
law school admissions exam in the top five percent, he wanted to know why I didn’t
have the highest score.” Paul stood and paced the length of the room in front of the
windows. “And now this? My God, if he finds out I’m…about you, there’s no telling
what he’ll do.”

Randy didn’t miss the quick rephrasing for the second time. For all they did last

weekend, for all their plans for this weekend, Paul was backpedaling into denial. “You
can’t let fear force you into a loveless marriage. Life’s too short to live a lie like that.
And don’t you think the voters would figure it out? Your dad needs to give the
electorate more credit.” Randy stood and moved closer to Paul. On the return leg of
Paul’s pacing, Randy reached out and touched his shoulder. “It’s your life. You can’t let
others force you to live it different.”

Paul yanked back away from Randy as if he’d burned him. Anger filled his blue

eyes with a harsh glare. “Aren’t you doing the same thing? Not telling your mother?”

“She may not know I’m gay but she doesn’t rule my life.” Randy’s situation was

nothing like Paul’s and resentment at the comparison riled up.

“But she wants you to marry, doesn’t she?” Paul stepped within arm’s reach of

Randy. His eyes flashed with turmoil.

“Yes, but not for fucking political gain. She wants me to be happy.”

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“But you can’t be with a woman and you won’t with a man. So you aren’t any

different than I am. Hiding is what we do best. Our whole fucking life is a lie.”

Fury boiled through Randy and he stepped into Paul’s personal space. “No, maybe

yours is. I know who I am. I live with restrictions because I don’t think my sick mother
could handle the news of who I like to fuck.” He poked Paul’s chest with his forefinger.
“You, on the other hand, still can’t admit you’re gay even when your plans for this
weekend include getting my dick up your ass.”

Paul’s face blanched white. His mouth closed until his lips were a tight, pale line.
“So don’t compare me to you. I admitted I was gay nearly twenty-two years ago.”

Randy flung an arm around Paul’s neck and yanked him close. His mouth pressed hard
against Paul’s lips.

Paul’s mouth stayed closed for all of ten seconds. His hunger matched Randy’s

anger as tongues clashed and battled for dominance.

Pulling Paul away, Randy growled, “You need to figure out what you want. Now.

Before we go any further.”

Instead of speaking, Paul dove in again for a bruising kiss. His hands ran down

Randy’s back to his ass. Grabbing hard, he pulled Randy against his body.

Paul’s hard cock pressed into Randy’s groin, clashing with his own aching flesh.

“I’ll take that as an answer.” Pulling Paul back toward the couch, he let his own hands
take advantage of the loose T-shirt Paul wore. Clawing his way up the warm skin of
Paul’s back, he lowered them to the couch.

“Oh God, I need you.” Paul’s admission was muffled in Randy’s neck.
“Need you too.”
His words must have fired something in Paul. The man became a flurry of hands,

peeling Randy’s clothes off without regard for buttons or appendages.

Without his shirt and with his jeans around his calves, Randy leaned back and let

Paul take the upper hand.

Hot kisses covered his neck and chest. Paul paused at one nipple and sucked hard.

His hand wrapped around Randy’s cock and squeezed.

Randy gasped for air at the onslaught but his hands ran up and down Paul’s strong

arms, encouraging him in his exploration.

Paul’s tongue licked a wet line through the fine hair trailing down the middle of

Randy’s stomach. Kisses and toothy nips teased at random spots—his ribs, his navel,
his hipbone—until Paul’s mouth hovered over Randy’s aching cock.

As Randy whispered, “Please…” his gaze met Paul’s.
Fear and lust warred within the dark blue eyes. The final rays of the dying sunset

highlighted his hair with tints of red. Paul nodded then lowered his mouth to Randy’s
erection. A teasing tongue circled the slit before warm lips closed around the head.
With slow, deliberate movement, Paul swallowed half of Randy’s length.

56

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Randy resisted the almost overwhelming urge to thrust. His fingers clutched Paul’s

T-shirt, but he didn’t pull or push his reluctant lover in either direction. Instead, he
encouraged Paul’s actions with words. “Feels so good,” he whispered.

And it did. In spite of his lack of experience, Paul’s warm, wet mouth felt

incredible. At Randy’s whispered words, Paul moved a little faster. His tongue taunted
the slit with each rise and took a little more length with each fall. His cheeks sunk in as
he sucked hard around the tip. His teeth gently grated the ridge of the crown.

Randy forced himself to relax into the sofa cushions. Paul needed to do this at his

own pace.

The hot mouth sped to a quicker stroke, not as deep but just as arousing. It

wouldn’t take much more for Randy to blow. Between the sexual tension of the last
week and the places his dreams had taken him, having a real live mouth around his
cock guaranteed some fireworks. But he’d better warn his skittish lover.

“Paul…” His hands tugged at Paul’s T-shirt. “Hey, you might want to pull back…”
Paul’s hummed response was unintelligible and the vibrations pushed Randy a

little closer to the edge.

“Paul, I’m gonna come.” His panted words didn’t faze Paul’s rhythm. He slid his

hands around Paul’s head, but Paul shook his head and kept going. Okay, guess he’s
going for another first… Randy eased his grip then stroked Paul’s hair.

The swirl of heat from his belly to his cock intensified. Letting go of what little

restraint he had left, Randy groaned as his come spurted into Paul’s hot mouth.

Paul’s small gag and choking sound had Randy worried for a minute, but Paul

regained his composure.

His tongue teased the sensitive head as his mouth sucked with gentle pressure.
Randy let the afterglow of his orgasm bathe his body with warmth. The tension

from the last week, from Paul’s reticent attitude and then his anger, all fled under the
hands of his hesitant lover. “That felt so good…” He petted the short locks of hair back
into place where he’d tugged. “So good…”

Paul released his cock and crawled up Randy’s body. Kneeling between Randy’s

splayed thighs, his hard kisses couldn’t pull Randy out of his languid state. He made an
effort to return Paul’s amorous mouth but was too relaxed to react with much force.

“Paul?”
“Yes…” he whispered between kisses.
“Fuck me.”
Paul’s fingers dug into the flesh of Randy’s arms. His kisses pressed harder, more

desperate. “I thought I was going to be the bottom.”

Randy laughed as he pulled Paul’s face away from his. “I need a little time to

recover.” He slid his hand down to Paul’s denim-covered cock. “And you look like you
need a little something to relax you.”

Paul’s groan confirmed his need. He pressed into Randy’s hand.

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“We have all weekend, right?” Randy rubbed Paul’s length down then back up. He

squeezed the tip gently through his jeans.

“Yeah…” Paul panted his need as he pressed harder against Randy’s hand. “All

weekend…”

Randy pulled Paul into a tight kiss. “My room…” he murmured between kisses.

“Now.”

Yanking out of Randy’s grasp, Paul stood then held out a hand to Randy. With his

jeans around his calves, Randy wasn’t getting far very fast. He released Paul’s hand
long enough to yank his jeans up.

Leading the way to the master bedroom, Randy sighed with relief. He was afraid

the weekend was over before it started. Now he just had to make sure this wouldn’t be
his last with Paul.

For some reason, the idea of not seeing him again didn’t sit well. Randy refused to

examine the feeling closer.

Paul’s gaze didn’t stray far from Randy’s ass hidden behind the loose denim of his

unfastened jeans. The whole drive up he’d rehearsed what he needed to say, about how
he couldn’t stay, how he couldn’t have an affair with another man, no matter how
careful they were.

Instead, here he was, following Randy to his bedroom with the taste of come in his

mouth. Surprisingly, the bitter, salty taste wasn’t unpleasant. He hadn’t been sure he
could swallow, and the kick of his gag reflex almost had him spitting come everywhere,
but he’d managed. Practice would…

After this weekend, he’d never do it again. He should turn and run right now.

Instead, he stepped into the large airy bedroom behind Randy. A small lamp on the
bedside table illuminated the king-sized bed. A large dresser, probably one of those
fake armoires that hid a television, stood against the wall across from the foot of the
bed. A small sofa and an armchair were almost hidden in the shadows of one corner.

His gaze wandered back to the huge bed. Thoughts of Randy’s tight ass gripped

around his cock sent chills and searing heat alternating through him. With his dick
already on the verge of shooting, he didn’t think he’d last long. One of these days, he’d
like to take his time.

Once again, he forced back the thought as something that implied future contact

with Randy. He should have left before things spiraled out of control. No, he shouldn’t
have come here in the first place. He could have called. Since he’d convinced himself he
could turn Randy down in person, he was exactly where he didn’t need to be. But if the
weekend was going to be the only contact with Randy—with another man, period—he
was going to enjoy what he could.

Randy had already toed off his shoes and shed his jeans while Paul stood in the

doorway lost in thought. A couple of condoms and a large bottle of lube lay on the
nightstand.

58

Past Lies

“Are you coming?” Randy yanked the covers down the wide bed and crawled into

the middle. His smile emphasized the double meaning of his words.

“Yeah…I am…” Paul stripped his shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor as he

crossed the room. His shoes followed on the trail he was leaving behind. Finally, as he
reached the bed, his jeans. He pushed them down his legs, yanking his socks off as he
pulled the hem of his jeans over his feet.

He stopped to gaze at Randy. His long, lean body was so different from Paul’s

bulkier build, his dark wavy hair not long by any account but longer and wilder than
Paul’s almost military-cut length. And the chocolate brown eyes… Paul always did
have a fondness for chocolate.

“I’m waiting.” Randy fondled his spent dick. His hand covered his cock while his

fingers kneaded his balls. “Are you going to fuck me or not?”

“I am. I just…” How could he tell him he needed to fill his memory with the

moments of this weekend? That after Sunday, Paul would never do this again.

But what did it matter. Randy was a man, not a woman who expected princes on

white horses and happily ever after. He’d understand and that would be the end of it.
And life would go on as before.

Paul shuddered at the thought of returning to his life as an obedient son. Pushing

the thought aside, he crawled onto the bed next to Randy.

Leaning over him, Paul kissed Randy’s lips, gentle and soft. Erotic in the slow build

to something harder, stronger. Although thinner than Paul, Randy’s body held a
surprising amount of strength and Paul welcomed his hard embrace.

The ache in Paul’s cock reminded him of needs beside the intoxicating taste of

Randy’s mouth. His hand fumbled across the sheets to the table seeking the lube. “Need
to…”

“Yes,” Randy growled. “Want to feel you in me.”
“Oh yeah…” Paul snagged the lube and dragged it over next to him. Need for

Randy’s tight heat took his breath away. A lifetime of denial loosed by one night and
too much scotch.

Randy arched up into Paul’s body. His groin rubbed against Paul’s erection.
Heat fired through his lower stomach and his cock. “Damn, I’m not going to last.”
“Doesn’t matter. Hard and fast is good.” Randy’s hand brushed against Paul’s as

they both reached for the lube. “I, ah… I’m already a little stretched. It won’t take much
prep.”

A rush of jealousy flew out of nowhere and splattered all over Paul. He lifted his

head to meet Randy’s gaze. “Stretched? By who?”

“By me…” Randy flushed a little but his grin was unrepentant. “A little stress relief

last night after we talked.”

Paul had to grab his cock and squeeze. He rose up from his position on Randy and

straddled his thighs. The idea of Randy playing with his ass almost did him in.

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“Fingers?” His mind pictured Randy with his hand curled against his balls, fingers
pumping his tight ass.

“At first…” Randy reached down and wrapped his hand around Paul’s. “Do you

really want to hear more right now?” His smile promised an interesting tale for later.

“No.” Paul shook his head. “No. Not now.” Much more stimulation and he’d pop.

Moving off Randy, he grabbed the other man’s legs and pushed them up.

Randy aided him by grabbing behind his knees. “Come on. Hurry.”
Snagging a condom off the nightstand, he ripped it open and slid it over his leaking

flesh with shaking hands. The cold lube was next and helped calm the overwhelming
need.

With fingers slick, he circled Randy’s puckered hole then pressed past the ring of

muscle. In spite of what Randy said, the tightness seemed the same as last week.

“Now, Paul. I’m ready.”
A final stroke then Paul lined his cock up with Randy’s anus. With the first push,

the tight muscles squeezed the head of his cock. “Almost too much…”

Randy breathed deep then exhaled. As his body deflated, the muscle gave.
Sliding deep into the gripping heat, Paul groaned. Completely sheathed in Randy,

he sighed his relief. He’d dreamed of this all week. And of Randy inside him.

He leaned forward, pressing Randy’s legs tight against his chest. “Feels so good…

Need this… Need you…” As awkward as it was, Paul needed Randy’s mouth against
his. He strained his neck toward the soft lips.

Randy obliged him by straining up to meet him.
The combination of hard kisses and the slick, tight heat of Randy’s ass were too

much. Pulling back, he slammed into Randy. Again… Randy grunted into Paul’s
mouth. Again… One more time and he couldn’t keep from coming.

A release of tension beyond sexual joined his orgasm. How could he deny this?

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Chapter Seven

Randy stirred the angel hair spaghetti into the boiling water. He’d grabbed a quick

shower and left Paul to clean up and settle in.

Footsteps walked up behind him. “Smells good.”
“Thanks.” Randy set the long wooden spoon on a small ceramic tray next to the

stove. He turned to find Paul close enough to smell the toothpaste on his breath.

“Kind of worked up an appetite.” Paul nuzzled a kiss against his neck. “For a lot of

things.”

“I like that idea.” Randy wrapped his arms around Paul and nibbled at his neck. “I

don’t want to spoil the mood but are you okay?” He ran his hands up and down Paul’s
back.

“Yeah. I…” Paul shook his head. “Let’s not talk about it now.” With a final squeeze,

he released him. “What can I do to help?”

Randy dropped the subject. Maybe he’d open up later. He planted a quick kiss on

Paul’s lips. “There’s salad in the refrigerator. Pick a dressing you like.”

A smile crinkled fine lines around Paul’s eyes. “Great.”
Returning to the pasta, Randy stared into the steam. Even after such a short time,

Paul had already found a way under his skin. He couldn’t decide if it was a good thing
or bad. They both had reasons to hide. Of course Paul’s were much more serious. A
budding politician in the Bible Belt of Arkansas couldn’t have a gay lover.

If they kept the relationship a secret, there was no reason it couldn’t continue. But

then how does one keep a secret in the information-driven world of the twenty-first
century? Randy knew exactly what technology could do. He’d designed enough
software to realize nothing was safe. Cameras were everywhere from cell phones to
satellites. Listening devices could record words spoken from hundreds of yards away
and not even be in the same room as the speakers.

Could they keep anyone from finding out about them? And what would happen if

they didn’t?

Although Randy wanted to spare his mother from any embarrassment or shame,

however undeserved, she’d probably forgive him. They’d been through too much
together and he was all she had.

For Paul, the stakes were so much higher. From what his father said, there was no

doubt he’d be disowned. Judge Loughton was never a forgiving man. He had a history
of coming down harder on anyone different. To him that included gays, poor people
and most races other than white. But in small-town Arkansas, he could get away with it

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as long as it wasn’t overt. All the rumors about his record were just that—whispers
among those he’d ruled against with no real proof of misconduct.

Sadness settled in Randy’s chest. This would probably be the end of any

relationship with Paul. He couldn’t risk exposing him to rumors and innuendo. Paul’s
hesitation earlier was proof he wouldn’t last.

So he’d just have to make the best of this weekend.
“Is it almost ready? You could probably hear my stomach from the dining room.”

Paul’s breath teased his ear.

“Yeah.” He used the spoon to capture a few strands of spaghetti. Pinching one free

of the others, he tested it between his front teeth. “It’s ready.” He slipped away from
Paul with the steaming pot and moved to the sink. He poured the hot water and pasta
into the stainless strainer already in one side of the double sink. The steaming water
swirled around and down the drain, much like this fleeting thing with Paul.

Pull yourself out of it. After all, it’s not as if they’d been involved for a long time. One

week wasn’t enough to mourn or moon over.

He put the strainer in the pot. When Randy turned around, he had a smile plastered

on his face. He’d make the best of things and be prepared to say goodbye on Sunday.

“Dinner’s ready.”

* * * * *

“So this crazy temp is spread across my desk in nothing but her garter belt and

handcuffs.” Randy laughed at the memory.

Paul added his guffaws to Randy’s. “Holy shit! Talk about stalker material.

Handcuffs?” He rolled more spaghetti on his fork.

“She’d been after me since she started the assignment two weeks before. For the

most part, I’d avoided her, but she wasn’t taking no for an answer.”

Paul shook his head, fork in midair in front of his mouth. “What did you do?”
“What could I do? I ran for cover and called security! We’ve never used that temp

agency again.”

His laugh rang out loud. “Lord, nothing like that ever happens in Prestonville.

Maybe I’m not cut out for the big city.” He took the bite of food from his fork.

“Chicago was interesting. In some ways I miss it.” Randy forked a piece of lettuce.
“So you’d move back?”
“Maybe, but my mom won’t move. She still regrets leaving Prestonville. All her

friends were there—some still are. But she needed someplace she could find better pay.
Even with scholarships and grants, I needed more money for college. My part-time jobs
weren’t enough. At least we didn’t have to worry about two rents with her here.”

“Sounds tough.” Paul leaned back in his chair. “College was such an eye-opener to

me.”

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“How so?”
“I was always told I was better than everyone because I was a Loughton. My dad

believed it, still does. And as a big fish in a little pond, I believed him.” He shook his
head. “Once I went to Mississippi State, I realized I was nothing.”

“Not nothing. Your dad and your name didn’t make you a good football player and

your grades were your own accomplishment.” Randy started to reach for Paul but
pulled his hand back.

“I know, but our family wasn’t the big deal my dad always ranted on about.” Paul

stared at his half-empty plate. “Once I came home after law school, I knew better, but I
never stood up to my dad when he started his usual diatribe. It’s always been easier to
let him rant.”

Randy didn’t know what to say. He’d fought every step of the way to be his own

person, but even he couldn’t tell his mother the truth.

“And now this…” Paul waved his hand in Randy’s general direction then back

toward himself. “I can’t…” His voice cracking, he pushed away from the table and
stood. “Excuse me.”

Unsure of what to do, Randy’s gaze followed him through the living room to the

glass doors leading to the deck.

After a brief hesitation, Paul opened the doors and walked out into the darkness.
Randy stared at the remnants of the dinner he’d painstakingly prepared for a

perfect evening. As much as he understood the turmoil his lover was going through, he
didn’t want to be the one to call the weekend quits.

Standing, he grabbed the wine bottle and glasses from the table and followed.

Warm, humid air drifted through the open door. The complete darkness of the
countryside made it difficult for him to find Paul. For a moment he worried Paul might
have left the deck. Not a good idea. Randy had issues with gophers and a gopher hole
in the dark was a broken ankle waiting to happen.

A shadow moved at the edge of the deck.
“Paul?”
“Yeah.” His voice didn’t sound as strained as earlier.
“Want some wine?”
“Sure.” As Randy’s eyes adjusted to the dim light shining from the living room, he

saw Paul turn around to face him. “Sorry about that.”

“I understand. And if you want to leave…” Randy sighed as the thought pressed a

heavy weight on his chest. “I’ll understand that as well.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to hide anymore.” Paul took

the glass Randy offered him. “Thanks.” He drained the glass in one swallow. “I want to
stay and I want to come back again.” Paul’s eyes squeezed shut. “If my father hadn’t
said anything…”

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“But how could he suspect when you’ve never done anything to clue him in?

Maybe he was just spouting off.”

Highlighted by the light from the door, Paul shrugged. “I guess his words got

under my skin because they hit so close to home.”

A light flashed through the dense trees near the driveway. Paul didn’t have a

monopoly on paranoia. “Why don’t we go back in?”

“Yeah. It’s a little warm out here.”
The humid air hadn’t cooled much with nightfall. A breeze teased but didn’t relieve

the heat. A thin layer of sweat already coated Randy’s neck and back. He nodded and
led the way back into the house.

Paul pulled the door closed behind them then tugged the drapes across the glass.

With his back still to Randy, he said, “I’m sorry I put a damper on the weekend. Not
what I had in mind when I woke up this morning.”

Setting the wine bottle and his glass on the coffee table, Randy retraced his steps.

With a cautious hand on Paul’s back, he whispered, “You’re here. Let’s just make the
most of the weekend. If you think you can’t come back, I won’t like it but I’ll
understand.”

Paul whirled around, his arms wrapping tight around Randy. His face nodded

against Randy’s neck. “Sounds like a plan…”

Paul’s mind was a jumble of fears, but the closeness of Randy, the slightly musky

scent, the warmth of his body, banished them to the back of his mind. He’d dreamed of
this weekend all week. And of the things he wanted from Randy…

He wanted to ask, to tell Randy that he needed to know the pleasure Randy

obviously experienced when Paul fucked him. Words wouldn’t form. Instead, he let his
mouth take a different route.

Kissing across Randy’s salty, damp neck, he moved up his jaw and across until his

lips covered Randy’s. With a soft groan, Paul fell into the sensation of kissing a man,
kissing Randy.

The scrape of stubble, hungry lips and strong arms wrapped around him scratched

the surface of his need. The hard masculine body against him ramped up his desire.
Tendrils of heat curled through his body reviving his cock. Moaning, he rubbed against
Randy’s lean body. His hands ran down the length of Randy’s back to the tight butt.
Yanking hard, he pulled him closer.

“Need you…” Paul whispered. “Need to feel you…”
“Come on.” Randy slipped away from Paul’s embrace and tugged his hand as he

walked backward toward the hall and the bedroom beyond.

Paul didn’t resist and a grin played at his lips. Tonight, this weekend, he’d let his

secret identity free. The gay man hiding behind the façade of a small-town lawyer and
obedient son wanted time in the real world and not just his dreams.

64

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The trip down the hall slowed as Randy pulled Paul in for another kiss. Eager lips

and strong hands sent Paul’s heart racing. Although only a couple of hours had passed
since their last encounter, Paul’s cock strained to be free of his jeans. He felt like an
eager teenager all over again—from the quick arousal to the roller coaster of emotions.

Shuffling toward the bedroom door, Paul pushed his hand down the back of

Randy’s jeans. He kneaded the tight muscles of his ass cheek. His musky scent
overwhelmed Paul’s senses.

“Want you…” Paul murmured between kisses. “Want to feel you—” He couldn’t

finish his sentence, but maybe Randy knew what he meant.

A strong hand worked down the back of Paul’s jeans. Shivers of need raced from

his stomach to his balls. Fingers traced the crack of his ass then pushed between. A
blunt tip pressed against his anus. Gasping with a mix of need and fear, Paul’s mind
pulled in opposite directions.

Just inside the bedroom door, Paul froze. He clenched his cheeks and pulled away

from Randy’s touch.

“It’s okay,” Randy whispered. “We won’t do anything you don’t want to.” His

hands fluttered at Paul’s waist.

“I want to but…”
Randy’s lips caressed his jaw. “It can be scary the first time. We’ll go slow, take our

time—and stop if you say so.” His hands slipped around Paul’s waist.

Paul nodded and continued the slow dance toward the bed. His emotions scattered

in so many different directions. He was grown man and he was as nervous as teenager
on his first date. But then this was a second date, of sorts, or third if he counted last
weekend as two. And so far, he hadn’t gone all the way.

The comparison lightened his mood and made him smile at the irony of his

situation.

They stopped near the bed. “Are you okay?” Randy whispered.
“Yeah. I think I am.”
Randy tugged at the hem of his shirt until Paul lifted his arms over his head. The

shirt slid off and fell to the floor. Next, his fingers tackled the button and zipper of
Paul’s jeans. With the fly open, Randy pushed Paul’s clothes down his hips. Warmth
encompassed Paul’s cock as a strong hand wrapped around it.

“Guh—” Paul didn’t have time to catch his breath when Randy sank to his knees.

Wet heat surrounded the tip of his cock. Fingers kneaded his tight balls. A flicking
tongue teased his slit.

His fingers found Randy’s unruly hair. Combing through the wavy curls, he

resisted the urge to clench and pull. The sweet sucking engulfed most of his length.
Panting for air, Paul struggled to stay standing. His knees considered mutiny. His entire
body shuddered with each stroke.

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Randy’s pace wasn’t fast enough to get him off quickly. A slow, steady rhythm

brought him close but not painful with need.

“Feels good…” Paul’s legs were slowly turning to rubber. “Need to sit…”
Randy released him with a soft laugh. “Sorry about that. I’ve wanted to drop to my

knees in front of you since the first night of the reunion.”

Moving to the bed, Paul tugged his jeans off over his feet before he sat down.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Randy didn’t bother to stand. Instead, he crawled over to where Paul sat. “I

saw this awesome set of shoulders near the bar. A trim waist.” Kneeling between Paul’s
legs, he ran his hands up and down Paul’s thighs. “Great ass. My first thought was with
my dick. Then you turned around.” He ran one finger up Paul’s cock. “My second
thought was how much I’d love to drop to my knees and suck you off right there.”

Paul shivered as Randy’s words caressed and stimulated his body. “I couldn’t think

those things. But I knew I wanted something…”

“How about this?” Randy’s head dipped into his lap. The moist heat engulfed his

length again.

“God, yes.” Paul leaned back on his arms and absorbed the sensation. As much as

he wanted to relax and enjoy the hot mouth tormenting his cock, Paul also wanted
more. He wanted to touch, to taste…to participate. “Randy?”

“Mmmm…” The vibrations teased his length.
“Can we…maybe…” Not sure how to ask, Paul had always been better at action.

Grabbing Randy by the shoulder, he lifted his mouth off him. “Come here.”

Paul tugged at Randy’s shirt until Randy pulled it over his head. Without more

hints from Paul, Randy stripped off his jeans and briefs, leaving them crumpled on the
floor.

Randy climbed on the bed, pushing Paul down with his weight. His mouth tasted

of wine and sauce and the bitter essence of pre-come. Paul’s own come.

Rolling him over onto his side, Paul whispered, “Hang on…” Paul sat up and

twisted around until he could lie down with his face near Randy’s cock.

Randy didn’t need more explanation. His mouth resumed his exploration.
Biting his lip to ward off a gasp, Paul noted the details of Randy’s cock—slightly

longer than Paul’s but thicker in girth. He wrapped his hand around the base then
stroked up to the crown. Cut and smooth, the head was silky under his thumb. The tip
glistened with a hint of pre-come.

He stuck his tongue out and swiped the moisture. The bitter flavor burst on his

taste buds.

A soft gasp from Randy encouraged him. Randy’s mouth sucked harder with each

touch.

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Paul mimicked Randy’s actions. Each lick and stroke, suckle and touch, Paul was

seconds behind Randy’s eager mouth. Paul’s need built as much from his own actions
as Randy’s.

“Stop…” Randy whispered. His hand rubbed Paul’s hair. “I don’t want to come

yet.”

Pulling away, Paul glanced at Randy’s face. “But…”
“I want to come inside you.”
“Oh God…” Paul’s cock jerked at Randy’s words. “Yes…”
“But I want you to come first.” Randy’s hand stroked him. “It’ll help relax you.”

Randy released him then slipped his hand under the pillow. “And I’m going to stretch
you using this.” He rose up on his elbow and opened the bottle. Squirting lube on his
fingers, he snapped the bottle closed and tossed it toward the pillows. “Now just relax.
When I push inside, breath deep and exhale.”

Paul tried, really tried, but the more he thought about it, the tenser he became.
With his arm over Paul’s hip, Randy’s cold, slick fingers slid between his cheeks.

His hot mouth swallowed his cock with one quick motion. The shock of heat took Paul’s
mind off the cold.

The blunt tip of one finger pushed against his anus. His gasp probably didn’t cover

Randy’s instructions. A long, deep breath didn’t slow his racing heart, but the
exhalation seemed to relax his muscles. Whatever it did, when Randy pushed his finger
against him again, it slid past the tight ring.

A weird feeling of intrusion, but not painful…not exactly comfortable either.

Definitely not the pleasure he saw written across Randy’s face.

Randy’s mouth distracted him from his analysis. Paul relaxed and let the wet heat

swirl through him.

The gel now warm, the forgotten finger began to move slowly, pumping in and out,

shallow. The intrusion became a welcome sensation…building anticipation. The strokes
lengthened and the finger curled, barely brushing his prostate.

Paul moaned with the first touch. Pleasure spread through his groin. His hips

flexed, pushing his cock deeper into Randy’s mouth.

The pleasure faded as a second finger wedged into his tight ass. This time, a

burning sensation joined the feeling of invasion. He almost called out for Randy to stop
but the fingers curled and pressed hard into the sweet spot. The bliss multiplied
exponentially.

Forgetting the burn, Paul pushed back onto Randy’s fingers. He needed that ecstatic

touch again. When he flexed forward, he buried his dick in Randy’s mouth.
Back…fingers, forward…wet heat.

Paul rocked back and forth, unable to decide which direction caused more pleasure.

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When Randy pushed a third finger inside, Paul didn’t worry about the initial

discomfort. If the pleasure multiplied in proportion to the pain, Paul wouldn’t last
much longer.

A constant pressure teased his prostate. The blanket balled in his fingers as he

moaned into the pillow. “God, yes…”

Randy pushed forward, burying Paul’s cock in his mouth. At the same time, three

fingers curled into the sweet knot of pleasure in his ass.

The world twisted, went white then faded to gray as his cock erupted. Randy’s

throat closed around the tip of his shaft and pulsed with each swallow.

“Fuck—fuck—fuck!” Biting the covers, Paul’s body tensed then went limp. He

wasn’t sure he could move. Or would ever move again.

Randy’s mouth released him slowly, teasing the sensitive tip as it slid free. His

fingers continued to prod and twist his opening but Paul was beyond caring. When
Randy’s fingers slid free, Paul wanted to protest but his mouth wouldn’t form words.

Gentle hands turned him onto his stomach. Kisses fluttered from his shoulders to

his ass and back up again. Strong hands kneaded any remaining tension from his body.
Then the hands disappeared. The only evidence of Randy’s presence was the heat
straddling Paul’s thighs.

The snap of the lube cap warned him of what was next but instead of fear, his body

hummed with anticipation. More cold lube slicked his ass, fingers pushing deep and
twisting.

The rustle of a wrapper, more lube… Then the thick, blunt tip of Randy’s cock

pressed against his entrance.

Paul’s fingers twisted the blanket under him. He pressed his face into the mattress

to keep from telling Randy no.

“Relax, baby.” Randy’s hand rubbed his back in long strokes then stopped on his

ass. “Breathe in, exhale hard.”

Paul chose to ignore the “baby” part and did as he was told. When he exhaled,

Randy’s cock breached the tight ring of muscle.

“You’re doing great.” Randy’s voice was tight and cracked a little.
Paul remembered the heat and viselike tightness of Randy’s ass. Randy was

fighting for control of his own body, just as Paul had when their positions were
reversed.

More breathing—long, deep inhalation, slow exhalaton. Three short pushes later

Randy’s balls teased his skin.

Warm moisture dripped on Paul’s back. A glance over his shoulder revealed a

sweat-covered Randy, his face red with strain.

“Fuck me,” Paul whispered. “Fuck me, Randy. Take my ass.”

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“Oh God…” Randy’s words exploded from his mouth. “You are so damn tight. I’m

not going to last.” Leaning forward on his arms, Randy lowered his face close to Paul’s.
“You feel incredible.”

Paul strained his neck around to meet Randy’s lips. Hard, salty kisses ravaged his

mouth. “Then fuck my ass.”

The fullness wasn’t enough. Paul needed more. The pressure of Randy’s cock only

teased his sweet spot. He wanted the aching sensation again.

Randy released his mouth. Rising up on his arms, Randy began to move. Long,

slow strokes, angling down and right at Paul’s prostate.

“Yes!” Paul couldn’t catch his breath. Pleasure so complete, so filling swept through

his groin then spread through his body. “Please…Randy.” His spent cock awoke from
the battering pressure. “Harder.”

The long strokes shortened. Faster, harder. Randy’s grunts added a soundtrack to

the intense beating of Paul’s heart. His blood fled for more southerly regions.

“More. Please. More.” A hard stroke punctuated each of his words. “Fuck. Me.

Randy!” He knew now what Randy meant by sometimes rough was better than gentle.
He wanted everything Randy could give him and more.

Hard rocking strokes rammed Paul’s ass. His cock ached with a different kind of

hard-on, one he liked very much. And wanted more of. Now. This weekend. Forever.

Randy slammed into him as his groin jerked against Paul’s ass. A loud grunt and a

series of tremors signaled Randy’s climax. For a moment Paul wished the hard cock in
his ass wasn’t covered in latex. He wanted the hot stream of come filling his ass instead
of a condom.

Paul’s cock jerked into the mattress and warm seed puddled around the tip.
Maybe next time… And without a doubt in Paul’s mind, there would be a next

time…and a time after that…and after that.

Randy fell forward on Paul’s prone body. He shouldn’t have been so rough with

Paul his first time, but he couldn’t resist the pleading cries for more. He’d probably not
get a repeat performance this weekend. If Paul couldn’t get past his fears, there
wouldn’t be another chance.

Between kisses on Paul’s sweat-soaked shoulder, Randy whispered, “You okay?”
“God, yes…” His voice cracked between gasping breaths. “I can’t give this up.” His

hand scrambled behind him, touching Randy’s side.

Randy eased his hand up next to him and covered it with his own.
“Can’t give you up.”
“We’ll work it out. No one has to know.” Randy wasn’t sure he could make those

words reality.

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Paul’s paranoia would make getting caught probably more likely. He’d react to a

wrong word or his father’s attitude too violently. Randy had seen it before with deeply
closeted men. All it took was one small slip and their worlds could collide in a
spectacular explosion.

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Chapter Eight

Paul woke with his back lined with warmth. An errant ray of sunlight invaded

through a small part in the curtains and teased his face. Either Randy’s bedroom faced
east or they’d slept the day away. More likely the former.

Randy’s arm draped over his waist and his breath teased Paul’s neck. The feeling

was comforting. Paul had never been one to snuggle. With the women he’d slept with,
he didn’t want them touching him afterward. Randy’s closeness didn’t seem an
invasion of his space as it did with them.

He was rested but his body ached, some places more than others. A smile teased his

mouth. The feel of Randy inside him was like nothing he’d experienced before. It wasn’t
as if he didn’t get off with women. He was a guy after all. When he was younger, he’d
been with quite a few women and the experiences had always been pleasurable.

But now…now he understood the saying “rocked my world”.
Randy stirred behind him then rubbed his hand on Paul’s stomach. “Mornin’.”
“Mornin’ to you too.”
Stubble scratched Paul’s neck as Randy planted a quick kiss. After a deep breath

and long exhalation, Randy murmured, “Gotta pee.” He rolled out of bed taking the
warmth with him.

Paul stretched then sat up. He hadn’t really seen the bedroom last night. With only

the small lamp, a lot of details were hidden in the shadows. Like the living room, large
windows lined one wall. Light tan curtains were drawn over them. The bedspread was
a combination of the same tan color and brown, the carpet a mix of similar colors.
Everything neutral, but several abstract paintings on the wall had splashes of reds,
blues and yellows. All together, the room was very calming.

The door to the bathroom opened. Randy’s hair stood up in a dozen different

directions. He scratched his balls as he walked back into the bedroom. “Gotta make
coffee.” Without putting on any clothes, he headed out into the hall.

Paul stifled a laugh. He couldn’t imagine getting away with Randy’s abrupt manner

with a woman. Especially not after “going all the way”.

Randy appeared around the edge of the doorway. “You drink coffee, right?” In his

hand was Paul’s bag, forgotten somewhere in the house last night.

“Yes.”
Dropping the bag inside the door, Randy and his bedhead hair disappeared again.
Paul climbed out of bed, snagged his toiletries bag and headed into the bathroom to

take care of his own call of nature. His ass ached but not in a bad way. The almost itchy

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aftereffects of sex only reminded him of the pleasure from the night before. Pleasure he
planned to indulge in again as soon as possible.

* * * * *

Randy watched the coffee brew. He needed a caffeine fix now. He hadn’t slept

much. Most of the night he’d watched Paul sleep, wondering about the things he’d
given up when he moved back to Arkansas.

Even if he could keep seeing Paul, where would their relationship go? In Chicago

they could have gone out to dinner, bars, clubs, dancing, even moved in together…
Here? They could spend time hidden in his house or a hotel somewhere.

And it had hit him, somewhere during the night, he wanted more. Not just more

out of any relationship, he wanted more with Paul.

High school hadn’t been the best of times for Randy. His mother had barely scraped

by with waitressing jobs. Randy had had to go to work at the age of fifteen to help keep
a roof over their heads. He attributed his determination to make something of himself
to the lack of things in his childhood.

Now he had every material thing he could want and it wasn’t enough.
The sound of the shower distracted him. The thought of Paul wet and naked

overrode the need for caffeine or reflection. He hurried through the house and back into
the bedroom.

The bathroom door was ajar in what he hoped was an invitation to join Paul.
“Paul?” He pushed the door open farther. The steam didn’t completely hide the

well-built body behind the frosted doors of the large walk-in shower.

Paul opened the door and stuck his head out. “Want to join me?”
“Yeah.” Randy stroked his already hard cock. “Hang on a minute.” He darted back

into the bedroom for lube and condoms. “Always be prepared,” he mumbled as he
headed back to the bathroom.

The steam of the shower swirled around Randy as he entered the shower. Paul had

his head back under the spray of one of the showerheads.

The shower alone was almost as large as the bathroom in the apartment Randy

grew up in. The six showerheads, two on each of three walls, could be operated
individually or all together. Randy had fallen in love with the house for a variety of
reasons but the shower was a dream come true.

Watching Paul rinse soap from his hair in Randy’s shower was a different kind of

dream.

Randy set the lube and condoms on a built-in shelf in the wall. Reaching out, he

placed the palm of his hand on Paul’s chest. “Morning.”

Paul shook water from his hair then used his hands to smooth it back. “Morning to

you too.” Without hesitation, Paul leaned in for a kiss.

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Maybe Paul meant for it to be a cursory peck on the lips, but Randy pulled him

closer and pressed for more. Paul opened with matching enthusiasm. He tasted of mint
toothpaste and heat.

Emotion gripped Randy’s chest. He wasn’t sure if he was falling for Paul, or if he

just wanted more from life, but the feel of the man against him was almost too much to
bear.

Desperation made his kisses hard and needy. His arms wrapped around Paul with

anxious desire. Fingers kneaded the hard, muscled ass.

Paul’s whimpered moans encouraged Randy. As Paul returned his need kiss for

kiss with equally hard embraces, Randy let his worries fall aside for now. Time enough
later for repercussions and reflection. Right now he had an armful of warm flesh with a
hard cock bumping against his erection.

“God, you feel good,” Randy murmured.
“Fuck me again.” Paul whispered the words against Randy’s mouth.
His words were almost enough to put Randy over the edge. “Are you sure? Aren’t

you sore?”

“A little but not much. Last night…I never knew. I never let my imagination go that

far. Until last weekend, that is. Even then, I had no idea what I was missing. I just knew
the look on your face when I fucked you was something… It was awesome.” Paul
paused for a long kiss. Tongue and teeth clashing to make his point.

Randy welcomed his rough desire. He understood the emotion pushing Paul.

Randy’s first time had been something of a revelation to him as well. “Okay…” His
hands cupped the side of Paul’s face. “But not in the shower. Let’s finish cleaning up
and go back to bed.”

* * * * *

Paul’s body was still damp from the shower when Randy pushed him down on the

bed. The chill of the air conditioner didn’t last long with a warm body on top of him.
Even without Randy’s skin against his, the hot kisses were enough to raise his body
temperature.

Long, lazy kisses, deep with tongues exploring, combined with the scratch of

unshaven faces generated enough heat to match the rising July temperature outside.
Randy’s cock slid alongside Paul’s creating an interesting friction all its own.

When Randy’s mouth moved away and started a path down his chest, Paul started

to protest, but the nips and licks on his skin kept him quiet. That is until Randy’s mouth
found Paul’s nipple.

“Ahhh…” The startling sensitivity snatched Paul’s breath. His hands found

Randy’s head and held him in place. “Shit.”

Randy paused and looked up. His lips were wet with saliva. “You want me to

stop?”

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“No… Hell, no…”
When Randy resumed, sucking hard and using his teeth to pull at Paul’s nipple,

Paul arched his chest into the wet source of pleasure. “Never been so…sensitive.”
Except last weekend. His memory dredged up the sensations from last week that now
seemed even more intense.

A few of his female lovers had played with his nipples, licking or sucking, but not

with the rough treatment Randy inflicted on him. From the way his cock strained for
more friction, it seemed he liked rough.

“I should dig out some nipple clamps,” Randy growled. “I bet you’d like those.”
Kinky stuff… Paul wasn’t sure he was ready for anything unusual. The thought

made him gurgle with laughter. As if getting his ass fucked by a guy didn’t qualify as
kinky. But it didn’t. Maybe to others, but now the idea didn’t seem so unusual.

But he wouldn’t ask. “Whatever.” His hands tightened on Randy’s head.
Randy slipped his hand up to the other nipple. Using his thumb and forefinger, he

rolled the tiny nub into a point. “Let’s see.” With a sharp pinch to one nipple, his teeth
tugged on the other.

“Oh fuck!” Pleasure whipped through Paul, twisting from his nipples through his

gut then his cock.

“Yep, have to find the nipple clamps.” Randy’s laugh vibrated against Paul’s chest.

“I wonder what other kinds of kinks you would get into.” Randy kissed his way back
up Paul’s chest and neck. With a quick kiss on his lips, he peered at Paul’s face. “Toys?
A thick dildo pumping your ass? Like the one I used on myself the other night?”

Was it possible to be jealous of a dildo? Paul arched his hips into Randy’s. “Oh

fuck.” His words were almost enough to make him come.

Randy’s grin was almost evil with one eyebrow arched. “I see you like that idea.”

He leaned over so his mouth was close to Paul’s ear. “How about I tie you up, plug
your ass with a fat dildo and then suck your cock until you flood my mouth with
come?” The growling whisper was too much.

Paul pushed into Randy’s hard stomach as his cock erupted. Jolts of pleasure shot

through his body. Heat wove through the fiber of his soul and seared his skin.

Randy held him down, grounding his body while his mouth swallowed Paul’s

groans. Hard kisses, rough with scratching stubble, increased the intensity of his
orgasm.

“Fuck…” The expletive was a whisper instead of a shout. Paul didn’t have the

energy left to do more.

“Yeah, fuck is right. I’m going to fuck you now.” Randy sat up, straddling Paul’s

legs. “I can’t believe you came like that.” His grin was a cross between pride and
amazement.

Paul wanted to object when Randy moved off him but he couldn’t find his voice.

Something deep inside him scolded for the thoughts Randy had planted. Another part

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of him wanted exactly what Randy described. Instead, he stayed quiet while Randy
grabbed the lube and a condom.

Settling between Paul’s thighs, Randy pushed Paul’s legs up until his knees were

bent and his feet planted on the bed. With a slicked finger, he circled Paul’s hole with
the cold lube before pushing inside. “You okay?” Randy asked.

“Yeah. More.” The tension from last night wasn’t there. Neither was the burning

when Randy added another finger. Paul exhaled and closed his eyes. His body relaxed
and let a third finger in without much resistance.

“Ready?” Randy whispered. His fingers set a steady rhythm.
Paul nodded. Ready for anything evidently, a sarcastic voice in his head taunted him.
Twisting his fingers, Randy prodded Paul’s prostate.
A shiver of pleasure banished the nagging voice. Whatever Randy wanted to do to

him, Paul was willing. If it meant the kind of pleasure he’d experienced so far this
weekend, he would let Randy tie him up, down, any way he wanted.

The fingers rotated one more time before leaving him empty. Not for long. Randy

pushed his legs up toward his chest.

Grabbing behind his knees, Paul pulled and opened himself to Randy. The blunt tip

of Randy’s cock pushed past the ring of muscles with less resistance than last night.
With a long sigh, Paul relaxed and Randy slid deep.

The angle was different from last night but the pleasure wasn’t. And now he could

see the blissful look on Randy’s face.

Had Paul looked like that when he was buried in Randy? No wonder Randy had

said he wanted to see Paul’s face. The look of pure ecstasy was as much of a turn-on as
the hard cock filling his ass.

“Are you okay? Not too sore?” Randy’s gaze was intent as he stared at Paul.
“Feels good.” Paul moaned. “A little sore but I can handle it.” He told the truth. The

slight itchy pain left over from last night seemed relieved by the slow rocking motion of
Randy’s cock. Almost like how scratching poison ivy felt. An intense relief. He
wondered if he’d regret it later as he had with the poison ivy. Didn’t matter.

Paul strained against Randy, urging him to move. Since his cock was spent, the

urgency of arousal wasn’t there. The desire to feel Randy moving inside him was a
different kind of need. “Come on,” he whispered. “Move.”

Randy’s teeth flashed in a grimace before he caught his bottom lip between the

pearly whites. His body jerking in reaction to Paul’s words, the strain of control on his
face set off an evil imp in Paul’s brain.

“Would you tie me up like this?” Paul moaned. “Legs high and ass open to you?”
Randy’s slow rocking changed to short strokes.
“Or would you have me spread eagle on my stomach? Exposed to whatever you

wanted to do?” Paul grunted when Randy slammed hard into his ass. “But then…how

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would…you suck my cock?” The idea of sucking planted a picture of Paul sucking
Randy in his mind. “Maybe…”

Randy’s body jerked into action. Long, hard strokes slammed into Paul. His body

hummed with arousal as his cock revived under the intense pressure on his prostate.

“Maybe. You’d tie me. Up. And stick…your cock…in my mouth…”
Anything else Paul might have said was lost as Randy leaned over and captured his

mouth. Hard kisses interfered with the steady rhythm of Randy’s strokes. The contact
of Randy’s mouth at the same time his cock filled Paul’s body heightened the pleasure.

His cock was caught and sandwiched between their bodies. Rubbing, kissing,

combined with Randy’s dick ravaging his ass sent pleasure swirling through Paul’s
body and mind. Pictures of Randy fucking him in every position he could think of
flashed like a slideshow through his brain.

Tied up, tied down, against a wall, on his knees sucking, tied up with a cock in his

mouth… Paul wanted it all. For most of his adult life, thoughts like those would have
sent him into depression because the small-town society he lived in said it was wrong.
That any man who wanted sex with another man was sick and twisted. In spite of some
progress toward tolerance, a little over a week ago Paul wouldn’t have let those
thoughts in, much less dream of doing them.

Now with a hard cock filling his ass and hungry, wet kisses given with the scratch

of a day-old beard, Paul knew he’d never be able to turn back. But could he go forward?

Randy’s moans interfered with his kisses. With a loud groan, he rose up on his arms

and slammed into Paul. One. Two. Three long, hard strokes and his body tensed against
Paul’s ass. “Oh God!” The strangled cry accompanied his jerking hips.

Paul let go of his knees and wrapped his legs around Randy’s waist.
Falling forward, Randy breathed heavy against Paul’s skin. “Fuck, that was good.”

With the change in position, Randy’s dick eased out of Paul.

Sweat and come slicked the contact between them. Paul laughed. “It was fucking

great. And very messy.” And already he missed the heat of Randy inside him.

“Yeah.” Randy panted hard then took a long, ragged breath. “Good thing I have a

great water heater. I think we’re going to need it.” Lifting his head, Randy gazed at
Paul. “And I haven’t even had coffee yet. You’ve found the perfect substitute for my
morning coffee. Too bad you can’t be here every morning. My staff would be forever
grateful for my improved mood.”

Paul laughed, but the idea of waking next to Randy every day filed in beside all the

other thoughts planted there. If only it were possible…

* * * * *

Randy watched Paul packing his small suitcase. The urge to stop him was nearly

overwhelming but he kept silent. He wasn’t sure he’d ever recover from this weekend.
Somewhere between Friday night and Sunday morning, Randy decided he wanted

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more out of life than secret rendezvous and hidden relationships. Even more surprising
was that he wanted more with Paul.

Maybe it was the newness of gay sex, maybe it was a lifetime of repression, but

Paul had embraced sex with Randy like a duck took to water. The enthusiasm and
willingness to try anything was refreshing. Most of Randy’s previous lovers had
preferences and limits. Not Paul. Although Randy didn’t want to push Paul too far this
weekend, the whole tying-up thing had haunted him since he’d said it.

Turning around suddenly, Paul said, “May I come back next weekend?”
Relief filled Randy. “Absolutely.” He pulled Paul into a hug. “Anytime. Doesn’t

have to be the weekend.”

Paul’s grip tightened. Turning his face, he covered Randy’s lips with his mouth. A

hard kiss, almost as starving as their first, bruised Randy’s mouth. Suddenly, he buried
his face in Randy’s neck. “Those things you said yesterday…”

The things they hadn’t talked about. “Yeah…”
“Maybe we could…you know…try some.” Paul lifted his head and gazed into

Randy’s eyes. A mix of hope and desire with maybe some fear mixed in reflected from
Paul’s blue eyes. “If you want to…”

A surge of excitement ripped through Randy. He’d played games before—toys,

mild bondage and the like. But the idea of playing those games with Paul after his
response yesterday aroused him in seconds. “Yeah…I’d like that.”

Paul ducked his head, breaking eye contact. As he turned back to his suitcase, a

flush of red graced his neck. Stuffing his toiletries bag in the remaining space, Paul shut
the case and zipped it closed. By the time he turned around, his face was calm.

After a quick hug and a peck of a kiss, Paul grabbed his suitcase. “Call you

tonight?”

“Yes.” Randy nodded with unnecessary emphasis. “I look forward to it.” He

followed Paul down the steps to the garage but didn’t touch him again. Once the door
opened, the outside world would intrude. Only here, closed away from everyone, could
they be open to each other.

He flipped the switch to the garage door. The wide door rumbled as it rose,

revealing the bright afternoon sunshine.

Only here, because Randy couldn’t tell his mother he was falling in love with

another man, and Paul would never accept an open relationship.

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Chapter Nine

Paul glanced at the clock again. He’d been home for hours but didn’t want to call

Randy too soon. Once again memories of teenage indecision mocked him. But in a way
he was a teenager. Dating men was new to him.

“Dating.” He snorted at the term. Sneaking around fucking wasn’t dating. When

Randy joked about Paul moving in so he could substitute sex for coffee, Paul had
wanted to take him up on it.

The freedom to do what he wanted, date who he wanted. Not just sexual freedom.

His law practice was a sham. His father chose his cases. Only people who could pay
well and were a guaranteed win would make it through Paul’s office door. The only pro
bono work was the kind involving good publicity—ones he couldn’t lose.

Paul’s regular client list was the cream of the county’s residents. Mostly friends of

his father’s. As a judge, his dad didn’t practice law anymore so he had his son take the
cases he would have.

And not all who got off were innocent. That’s what grated the most on Paul. He

wouldn’t have taken a couple of the cases if he’d had the balls to stir up trouble with the
judge. Now he wanted his way when it came to Paul’s personal life and Diane was
more than happy to play the game.

Admitting what he wanted, even if he could never tell a soul, hardened his

determination to stand up to his father, to Diane and anyone else who got in his way.

Grabbing his cell phone, he dialed Randy’s number. By the fourth ring, he almost

hung up then Randy answered.

“Hi.” Randy’s voice soothed some of the turmoil eating at Paul.
“Hello.” Suddenly Paul didn’t know what to say. Pacing his living room floor, his

mind whirled through a million ideas, each discarded as fast as he thought of them.

“Had a good time this weekend.” Randy’s words ended in a short laugh. “I guess

that was a stupid comment. I think it was obvious how much I enjoyed having you
here.”

“Or just having me?” Paul bit his lip as soon as the sentence was out.
“Yeah, that too.” A rustling noise crowded Randy’s laughter. His voice sobered as

he continued. “Wish you could have stayed longer.”

“Me too.” Paul took a deep breath. “I discovered a lot about myself this past week.”
“Like what?”

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“Like I’m tired of being the good, obedient son. Tired of dealing with my father

only on his terms. Tired of trying to live up to a public image that has nothing to do
with who I really am.”

“And the part about being gay?”
Paul shook his head. “That too, but I can’t…not yet. But admitting it to myself has

made a difference.” He paused in his pacing near the window. The streetlight reminded
him the world wasn’t just black and white but there were shades of gray. “Until now
I’ve always tried to live up to the image my father set for me—in my work, in my
private life, even in my attitudes. His world is so cut and dried. He and his ideas are the
only ones of value and leave no room for change—good or bad.”

“I’m glad my mom wasn’t quite so rigid. Of course being poor, you can’t be so set

in your ways. We always had to roll with the punches and deal with things.”

“See, I didn’t have that.” Paul took a deep breath. “Materially, I had everything I

needed or wanted within my dad’s idea of reason, but I had to play his game. Not that
hard to do when you’re a teenager who wants a new car. All I had to do was keep my
grades up and excel in sports. Since neither of those demands was difficult, I played the
game.” He walked back to the recliner and plopped down. His ass reminded him of
how much things had changed in the last week. “College was just high school
accelerated, but I began to notice I wasn’t the big shit I thought I was.”

“How so?”
“I met guys who were richer, who were better ballplayers. I joined a fraternity only

to discover I had to work to be a part of it. I wasn’t automatically accepted by the
highest social strata.”

“I never bothered with a fraternity,” Randy said. “Too much effort for too little

payoff.”

“You were smarter than me then. Of course my dad said I had to join. Said I’d make

valuable social connections that would last a lifetime. And he was right. I always hated
it when he was right. But there are some things he wants that I can’t give in to
anymore.” Paul leaned back in the recliner. As if saying it aloud relieved him of a huge
weight, his body relaxed.

“Like what?”
“I’m not running for state office. I never wanted it. Never wanted to be mayor or

have anything to do with politics. That was my dad’s dream and he didn’t make it.
Pushing me into it was a way to fulfill his broken dreams.” Paul exhaled a sigh of relief.

The idea of running for state politics always terrified him. His life under a

microscope wasn’t something he relished, not with his hidden thoughts about men. A
rather irrational fear since he didn’t know of any mind readers, but still the strain of
hiding his sexuality from himself was bad enough, from the rest of the world seemed
daunting.

“What do you want to do, Paul?” Randy’s voice echoed the question Paul had

asked himself for years.

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With his rebellion kicking into full gear, an answer finally clarified. “I’ve always

wanted to work for something more philanthropic, like a charity or the ACLU. Even a
public defender.” His excitement grew as he voiced the ideas to another person for the
first time. “Dad rarely allows pro bono work. Only select clientele for me. With him
doing the selecting.”

Standing, he began pacing again. This time not in frustration but from a giddy

enthusiasm for a dream he’d never voiced aloud. “I had everything growing up—and
thought I was entitled to it. For years now I’ve realized it was an accident of birth. I
never had the courage to stand up to my father and tell him what I wanted.”

“And what would he do if you did?”
Randy’s words stopped Paul dead in his tracks. He knew exactly how his father

would react. “Ridicule and deride my ideas. With threats of disowning me until I
changed my tune and toed the line.”

“Can you handle that?”
Paul returned to his seat. “I don’t know.” The wind in his sails deflated.

“Disowning isn’t a problem. I’ve made a good living and invested. I have money of my
own—not near as much as my inheritance would be, but I don’t need much. My client
list is mostly his friends. I don’t imagine I’d have much business left in Prestonville
afterward.” His mind churned through possibilities. “I’d have to have a new job lined
up before I did anything. A new place to live since his name is on the house I live in. I
pay him rent but I’m sure he’d throw me out.”

“You could stay with me…” Randy’s words were almost a whisper.
Paul wasn’t sure he heard correctly. “With you?”
“Yeah. With me.” This time Randy sounded more convincing.
“I wouldn’t want to impose.” Although the idea of being with Randy full-time was

appealing, they really didn’t know each other that well. Physical attraction brought
them together, but they hadn’t talked much about their lives. Then again, Paul was
comfortable revealing things to Randy he’d never told another soul.

“I have plenty of room, close to Little Rock, and if you want the kind of job you’re

talking about, you’ll need to move up here anyway. And it doesn’t have to be
permanent. Just until you get settled.”

“It’d be nice to know I had somewhere to go in a hurry.” Paul laughed at the

picture of him on the curb with his belongings. Not that it was so funny. His father was
ruthless when things didn’t go his way. Paul had seen him ruin other men for less than
the defiance Paul proposed.

Most people didn’t understand the dynamics of small-town politics. As cutthroat as

any politics, the small-town element made it much more intimate and easy to
manipulate. And his father was the master at it. Of course, not all of his father’s actions
were strictly legal, but no one could prove misconduct—or didn’t want to try. Even
Paul didn’t have proof enough to accuse the judge of anything.

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Paul tried to avoid the worst of the shit flinging and keep from anything remotely

illegal. Fortunately his father kept him out of those situations because of his plans for
his son’s future. Couldn’t have Paul with any skeletons in his closet.

His dad would have a rabid frothing at the mouth fit if he only knew exactly what

Paul was hiding in his closet.

“I liked having the company.” Randy brought him back to the phone call. “It gets

lonely here all by myself.”

“Did you have a…roommate in Chicago?”
Randy snickered at his hesitation. “For a while I had a boyfriend living with me. We

broke up about a year and a half ago. There hasn’t been anyone else since then…until
now.”

“Until me.” Paul’s mind raced with the information and collided with a thought

he’d had over the weekend. “Randy…” Paul worried his lower lip with his teeth.

“Yes?” Randy dragged the word out to two syllables.
“Have you ever…” Taking a deep breath, Paul plunged into the rest of his question.

“Had sex without a condom?” The line was quiet for a few seconds. Anxiety built as
Paul waited for an answer.

“Not since I was a teenager. And then I learned better.” Randy’s sigh rasped

through the phone. “Why do you ask?” His voice was almost neutral.

Paul didn’t know how to interpret his sigh or his tone. “Never mind. I… Just never

mind.”

“Do you want to? Go bareback? Skin to skin?” Randy’s low growl sent shivers

through Paul.

“I thought about it.” The words jumped out before Paul could put his brain in gear.
“When?” Randy whispered.
“When…” Paul couldn’t catch his breath. The memory of Randy buried deep in his

ass, his body jerking against him as he came, robbed Paul of the ability to speak.

“Maybe when I was coming inside you?” Randy seemed to be having a little trouble

breathing. Paul imagined Randy panting against his skin.

“Yes. I wondered what…how it would feel…if you…” The change in the

conversation made Paul’s cock wake up and take interest.

“If I were spurting come up your ass instead of inside latex?”
“God, yes…” Paul adjusted his thickening cock in his jeans.
“You do realize the dangers of HIV and AIDS?” Randy’s voice moved from a sexy

growl to a more normal tone. “Bareback isn’t a good idea with anyone. Much less
someone you don’t know very well.”

“I know. It’s just…the thought hit me when we were fucking and I can’t get it out of

my head.”

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“It’s a turn-on to think of fucking you raw. Nothing between my dick and the tight

heat of your ass…” The phone caught the sound of Randy sucking in air hard. “I’m
hard just thinking about it.”

“Me too.” Paul palmed his cock through his jeans and pressed hard. An aching

need grew with each thought, each word.

“I take a test every six months. A little paranoid, yes, because after the age of

nineteen, I’ve never had sex without a condom.” Randy’s laugh was shaky. “Blowjobs
are considered low-risk but you never know.”

“Well, you know my sexual history with men.”
“But a man can contract HIV from a woman, not as likely but still possible.”
Paul hadn’t realized that. But then, he hadn’t had sex without a condom in years.

Even with Diane, especially with Diane, he was overcautious. She claimed to be on the
Pill but he wouldn’t put it past her to get pregnant to force him into marriage. “What if I
got tested?”

“You’d risk someone finding out?”
“Yeah. I guess. Not that I know where to go or what to do.”
“Actually, there’s a home test you can buy. I started using it when I moved back

here. You do a blood sample at home and mail it off to a lab. Using a code, you get
results over the phone within three days.”

Paul’s initial fear of his own suggestion faded. “Where do I buy one?”
“Well, any drugstore, but I order them direct from the company. As a matter of fact,

I just received two in the mail. They’re cheaper when you buy two.” Randy snickered at
his words. “Guess a childhood of deprivation made me frugal. You’re coming up this
weekend. We could do the test together.”

“Three days for results?”
“Three business days after received. There’s an option to send it overnight. For

faster results.”

“What if I came up there tomorrow afternoon? Could you leave work early enough

to do the test and overnight it tomorrow night?”

“Yes.” Randy didn’t hesitate this time. “And maybe we’d have the results by the

weekend.”

One small fantasy with the possibility of coming true sent desire curling through

Paul’s body. “Maybe this weekend we could try a few other things as well.”

“Like the tying-up thing?”
“God, yes.” Paul rubbed the length of his cock through his jeans. He needed more

contact. Shoving the phone between his shoulder and his head, he ripped open his fly
and pushed his jeans down around his hips. He grabbed the slipping phone with his
left hand and his leaking cock with the right.

“You really like that idea, huh?”

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“Don’t know why. Not like it’s been a lifelong fantasy or anything…” Paul stroked

his cock. “It was something about the way you said it. And what you said.”

“What part? Tying you up, shoving a dildo up your ass and sucking you off?”
“Yeah, that would be the part.”
Randy’s voice almost whispered through the phone. “Turns me on to think of you

that way. At my mercy…able to drive you crazy and you can’t do a thing about it.”

Paul groaned and clenched his fingers around his cock.
“Sounds like you’re enjoying the idea right now. Are you hard?”
“Yes.”
“Are you stroking yourself?”
“Uh-huh…” Paul arched up into his fist. His body needed to move, but his

imagination supplied restraints, holding him in place. “Are you?”

“Hard?”
“Yes.”
“Very.” Randy’s voice cracked. “Leaking already. Thinking of your tight ass

clenched around a nice fat butt plug. Your cock shoved down my throat. And you
helpless to stop me with your hands tied to my headboard.”

“Fuck!” Paul’s strokes increased pace. His cock ached with need.
“Oh yeah. After you come in my mouth, I’ll fuck you. Nice and stretched by the

butt plug, I’ll ram into you in one long stroke. No slow pushing or prep needed.”

“Oh shit.” Tension pooled in Paul’s gut and wound through his balls.
“Fuck. You. Hard. Long.” Randy’s staccato words match Paul’s strokes. “My bare

cock. Skin. On. Skin. Fucking you. Rawww…” Randy’s last word turned into a howl.

Paul didn’t need imagination to know Randy was coming. His own groan joined

Randy’s as Paul’s cock erupted. Come spurted across his stomach, up his chest onto his
shirt. “Oh God…”

“Yeah…” Randy’s breath panted into the receiver.
“I’ll be up there tomorrow. Midafternoon.” Paul would leave the office early if he

had to kill someone to do it.

* * * * *

Paul turned into Randy’s long driveway at ten after two. He’d left the office at

lunch, telling his secretary he’d be out for the afternoon. His father had been in court so
he didn’t have to explain anything to him. However, his cell phone, not the one he
bought for Randy’s calls, had rung off and on for the last hour. Paul ignored it. After the
fourth call, Paul turned it off.

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The wide garage door was open. Randy’s blue Mercedes sat on the left side. Paul

eased his truck in beside it. He hadn’t turned off the engine when the door began its
rumbling slide closed.

Climbing out of the driver’s seat, he was attacked by a hard body and a set of

impatient lips.

Randy nearly knocked Paul back into the truck with his enthusiastic greeting. “I’ve

been hard all day thinking about you,” Randy growled between kisses. “Need you.
Now.”

Paul understood his impatience. It had taken all his self-control to keep from

jacking off on the drive up. He pulled at Randy’s polo shirt, tugging the hem up under
Randy’s arms. “Fuck me. Here.”

Randy’s hands were equally busy. Fingernails scraped Paul’s back and dug in. “I

was hoping you’d feel that way.” One hand left Paul’s back. Randy rummaged in his
jeans pocket and pulled out a tube of lube and a couple of condoms. “Turn around.”

Randy’s growl sent shivers down Paul’s spine but he obeyed without question.
“Drop your pants and bend over.”
Paul fumbled with the button on his slacks. Popping it free with shaking hands, he

pulled his zipper down. His slacks slid down his legs on their own. He pushed his
briefs to his knees. Leaning forward on the seat of his truck, Paul pushed his ass toward
Randy.

A cold, lubed finger pushed into him without ceremony. Randy went straight for

his prostate.

The intense pressure almost pushed Paul over the edge. He reached under and

grabbed his balls, tugging at the immediate desire to come.

A second finger rammed inside him. Hard, fast strokes alternated with twisting

fingers.

“Too much. Just do it.” Paul moaned against the upholstery of the seat. “Fuck me

already.”

The rip of the condom wrapper was followed by the absence of Randy’s fingers.

Coated in cold lube, Randy’s thick crown pushed against Paul’s anus.

“Yes.” He pushed back against the hard cock. With a sharp exhalation and another

push, one Randy met with a hard shove, Paul’s ass was filled with his lover’s full
length. “God, yes. Harder.” Paul held his cock in a viselike grip. He didn’t want to come
yet.

Each time Randy fucked him over the weekend, Paul had already come. Even

though he had become hard again, even ejaculated some, it wasn’t quite the same as the
first time he came. This time, he planned to come when Randy did.

Randy’s hands gripped his hips hard. Fingers dug into flesh and muscle. Without

another word, Randy did exactly as he was asked.

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Long, hard strokes, fast and deep, rammed into Paul. Each time Randy’s cock filled

him, the thick flesh battered his prostate. The bruising pace only added to Paul’s need.
His cock leaked a steady stream of pre-come over his clenched fist.

“Oh shit…” Randy’s brutal pace faltered. His hips slammed against Paul’s ass and

held tight.

Paul imagined Randy’s hot come flooding his ass, no barriers. With a strangled cry,

he came over his hand and probably on his truck seat. He didn’t care. Facedown with
his pants around his ankles and his ass impaled on Randy’s cock, he couldn’t care if the
world came to an end.

Kisses rained across his shoulders through his shirt. Randy murmured words he

couldn’t make out over the rushing of blood in his ears. His dazed attention focused on
the whispers.

“So good. Needed you so much.” Randy’s whispered stream of words made Paul

feel wanted in a way he never knew with women.

“I need you too.” Paul knew now just how much. He only hoped it would last.

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Chapter Ten

While he stirred a pan of sautéed vegetables, Randy kept an eye on Paul. He hadn’t

said two words since Randy came back from the FedEx box. Or since they’d done the
HIV tests for that matter. “Are you okay?”

Paul glanced over his glass of beer with a startled look. “What? Oh yeah. I’m fine.”
“What are you thinking about? You seem distracted.”
His lover sighed then took a quick drink of his beer. “Two weeks ago, I was so far

in denial I couldn’t admit even a passing attraction to another man. Now,” he shook his
head and chuckled, “I can’t wait to drop my pants and get your dick up my ass.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Randy hoped his answer was no.
Paul shook his head. “No, I’m tired of ignoring reality. But I just… Doesn’t it seem a

little much?”

“Not really.” Randy turned the fire off under the skillet. Walking around the

divider between him and Paul, Randy wrapped his arms around him. “When you had
sex with a woman for the first time, didn’t you want more? Wasn’t the feeling of
coming something you couldn’t get enough of?”

“Yeah, sort of.” Paul leaned his chin on Randy’s shoulder. “But it never seemed as

spectacular as all the other guys claimed it was.”

“Probably because you were doing it with the wrong gender.” Randy ran his hands

up and down Paul’s back. “Back then, if I’d approached you, offered to let you fuck me,
would you have done it? If no one would have ever found out?”

Paul’s breath huffed against Randy’s neck. “Probably. I’d have told myself that I

was a guy and a warm place to put my dick was just that.” His arms squeezed Randy’s
waist. “That’s how I justified the few hand and blow jobs I got in college.”

“And now that you’ve discovered sex with the right gender, don’t you think it’s a

little like being a teenager all over again?”

“Yeah, that’s how I feel. I’m thirty-eight and I’m tongue-tied talking to my…”
Randy smiled. “To your boyfriend.”
“That sounds so…silly.” Paul squeezed Randy as he laughed.
“How about lover?”
“Yeah, that sounds better. More…grown-up anyway.”
“There’s always partner.” Randy held his breath wondering if Paul would catch the

difference in the meaning of the word.

“Partner sounds more permanent.” Paul’s fingers dug into Randy’s skin.

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“Is more permanent a bad thing?” Randy leaned back so he could watch Paul’s

expression.

A smile curled the edge of Paul’s lips. “No, actually it doesn’t sound bad at all. But

it does seem kind of fast.”

“Well, it’s not like we can rush off and get married. Arkansas is not exactly up on

gay rights.” Randy ran his thumb across Paul’s lower lip. “But we are talking about
having unprotected sex and that means we need to avoid contact with other sex
partners. Be exclusive. And we can spend time together, maybe do something more
than hide out and have sex.”

“I’m not so sure—”
“Not here in Little Rock. Memphis has some nice places. We could find a hotel,

spend the weekend. Or Eureka Springs. They’re pretty gay friendly from what I hear.”
Randy brushed a kiss against Paul’s mouth.

Paul’s hands tightened on Randy’s waist and he leaned into the light kiss. Nibbling

bites and soft kisses started gentle then grew deeper, harder. When Paul pulled away,
he nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.” His hand dropped down to Randy’s ass then to his leg,
just below his shorts.

Fingers slipped up the leg of Randy’s shorts and prodded the crack of his ass.

Randy squirmed a little, pressing into the pressure of Paul’s fingers. “We should
probably grab the steaks off the grill before we get distracted.”

Paul laughed as he removed his hand. “I guess you’re right. I am like a teenager

first discovering sex. I can’t get enough of you.”

“And that is not a bad thing in my book because I like you groping me.” Randy

planted a kiss on Paul’s forehead. “Let me get the steaks and we can decide whether we
want dessert before or after the main course.”

“I love dessert.” Paul’s hand trailed down Randy’s arm as he walked away.
Grabbing a platter from the kitchen bar, Randy hurried out to the grill on the deck.

The sun was low but the trees near the entrance to his property cast long shadows. The
glimmer of headlights flashed as a car backed down the driveway.

Randy couldn’t make out the type of car from this distance. Somebody lost or

turning around. He shrugged off the incident and speared the two steaks onto the plate.
Turning off the gas grill and the propane tank under it, he turned back toward the
house. Another flash of light caught his eye as he turned. Looking back, the car was still
there, stopped just under the trees. Once again, the vehicle started backing down the
drive.

Moving to the deck railing, Randy watched until the car disappeared. His mind

mused over possibilities. His mother wouldn’t come by without calling and he didn’t
have any close friends who would either. His coworkers and staff didn’t know where
he lived. A slight paranoia crawled along his spine. Was someone following Paul?

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Randy shook his head and turned back to the house. Paul’s face appeared through

the glass patio doors. A frown creased his forehead.

The door opened as Randy approached. “What’s wrong?”
“There was a car down at the end of the drive. Couldn’t tell what kind. Too far

away.”

Paul stepped aside to let Randy in. His gaze locked on the trees in the distance.

“Maybe I should go home now.” He pulled the door closed.

“Why? Even if someone followed you, there’s no proof you are here as anything

other than a friend.” Randy turned to face his now pale lover. “If you leave in a hurry, it
makes you look guilty. Stay and eat dinner. You can leave later.” Although Randy had
hoped Paul would stay the night, drive home in the morning.

“You’re right. No one knew where I was going. They’d have had to follow me.”

Paul pulled the curtains closed on the patio doors then followed Randy into the kitchen.
“Smells good. Can I help?”

Randy decided to go with dinner and leave the dessert idea alone. “Salad’s in the

refrigerator.” He placed the porterhouse steaks on two plates and spooned some of the
sautéed vegetables next to them. Grabbing the plates, he headed for the dining room
table.

With the salad in one hand, Paul grabbed two salad bowls from the counter and

trailed along behind him. “I don’t think anyone followed me.”

“Did you tell anyone you were leaving?” He probably shouldn’t encourage Paul’s

paranoia, but he wasn’t the only one who needed to keep secrets.

Paul shook his head. “Just my secretary, and I didn’t tell her I would be out this

afternoon until I was leaving.”

“So no one would have known to look for you.”
“True.” Paul laughed as he set the salad and bowls on the table. “I’m just being

paranoid.”

“Well, we both need to be careful, but unless someone catches us in a passionate

clinch, the only thing they can do is spread rumors.”

“It’s been too long since you lived in a small town, Randy. In Prestonville, rumors

can destroy people’s lives.”

* * * * *

His hair damp from the shower and a towel around his waist, Paul flipped open his

phone and pressed the on button. He’d had it off since the drive up. He shouldn’t have
left it like that for so long.

The phone beeped several times then showed a readout listing eleven messages and

fifteen missed calls. He scrolled through the missed calls first. His office was most of
them. His dad’s cell phone was the last three.

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As much as he didn’t want to listen to his father’s ranting about him leaving early,

he pushed the dial button and let his voice mail start.

His secretary Liz left the first message. “Paul, your dad is back from court and he

wants to see you as soon as possible. I told him I didn’t know where you went. Call him
please.”

Paul grunted. Judge Loughton had probably made her life miserable all afternoon

for not keeping better tabs on his wayward son.

The next ten messages were from Liz. Paul skipped through them without listening.

They would only be more and more frantic versions of the first one.

The last message was his father doing his own dirty work. “Damn it, Paul. Where

the hell are you? Why did you leave the office early? And why aren’t you answering
your damn phone? Boy, you better call me immediately.”

He should just get dressed and leave now. Call his father on the way home, after

figuring out a feasible lie to tell him.

The shower stopped and Randy’s chipper humming bled through the closed door.
Paul suppressed the idea of leaving and turned his phone off. His father wouldn’t

rule his life anymore. He tossed his phone on the chair where he’d draped his clothes.
Randy had set the alarm for five in the morning. Paul would make the hour and a half
trip home in time to get ready for work. But for now…

The bathroom door opened and Randy walked out naked except for the towel he

rubbed through his hair.

Paul’s cock went from low simmer to high heat in seconds. His father, his job and

his life before Randy faded at the sight of the lean, muscled body. Need and something
he couldn’t quite name overrode all his concerns.

“God, you look good.”
Randy peeked out of the towel draped across his eyes. “You ain’t lookin’ so bad

yourself.” He pulled the towel off his head and tossed it toward the bathroom door.
“Actually, you look good enough to eat.” His eyebrows arched then waggled in an
exaggerated leer.

With flourish, Paul yanked the towel around his waist free. His cock bobbed up and

down, hard already. “So you want to taste this?” He fisted his length and wagged it at
Randy.

Not speaking, Randy stalked across the room and into Paul’s personal space.

Without touching and with a huge grin on his face, Randy dropped to his knees.

Paul groaned as wet heat engulfed his erection. Randy’s mouth took him so deep

his throat squeezed the crown of Paul’s cock. “Fuck. You do that so well.”

A vibrating moan was Randy’s only response. That and another mind-blowing

deep stroke.

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Knees quivering, Paul reached back for the dresser behind him. His hand steadied

him enough to keep him from stumbling, but he wasn’t sure he could stay standing
much longer. Not with the things Randy was doing to his cock.

As if he heard Paul’s thoughts, Randy released him. The air-conditioning chilled his

spit-covered cock but didn’t ease his desire.

“Come on,” Randy said as he stood. “I have a surprise for you.” He pulled him

toward the bed. He stripped the blankets and bedspread down and dropped them off
the foot of the bed. “Lie down. In the middle.”

Paul crawled across the king-sized bed and lay on his back. His eyes followed

Randy around the room.

First the nightstand and the lube and condoms inside. Randy tossed them on the

bed near Paul. Next, he went into the walk-in closet. From Paul’s position, he could see
Randy straining to reach something high on the top shelf. A blue plastic container,
about twice the size of a shoebox, rattled as it tumbled down and he caught it.

A shiver accompanied the certain knowledge of what the box contained. Paul’s dick

strained against his stomach. Pre-come glistened on the tip.

Randy shoved the box across the bed in front of him as he crawled toward Paul.

Leaving it within arm’s length, Randy straddled Paul’s hips. His hard cock bounced
against Paul’s.

Desire and need mixed with stronger emotions. Paul reached for Randy and pulled

him down. Skin on skin… By the weekend the test results should be available. This
weekend he’d know all the ways he could be skin on skin with his…lover.

Randy grabbed Paul’s wrists and pushed them up toward the headboard. Pulling

away from Paul’s kisses, his grin turned almost evil. “You ready for the surprise?”

His hands held Paul’s wrists in a tight grip. Paul pushed up but not with any real

attempt to dislodge his lover. “Yeah. As long as it involves my ass and your dick at
some point.”

Just the idea of Randy’s cock in his ass was almost enough to make him blow. Paul

couldn’t get enough and in spite of Randy’s reasonable analogy to a teenager, it worried
him.

Randy released Paul’s hands then reached down between the headboard and the

mattress.

Paul’s breath caught in his chest when Randy pulled out four nylon straps with

cuffs attached to the end. From under the pillow, he grabbed some white material.

Wrapping Paul’s wrist in the soft material, he stopped and stared at Paul. “Are you

sure you want to do this?”

His dry mouth wouldn’t let him speak but he nodded with vigorous enthusiasm.
“If you change your mind and want to stop, just say…purple.” Randy tightened the

cuff around the material and sealed the Velcro. “The material keeps the cuffs from
leaving marks if you pull too hard against them.” He made short work of the other cuff.

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“These are attached to the bed frame. I don’t think you can break metal and I’m sure
you can’t break the cuffs. So feel free to pull as much as you want.” He ran his tongue
across Paul’s lips but didn’t stop to take advantage when he opened his mouth.

Paul found out how strong the straps were when he tried to deepen Randy’s kiss.

His neck craned forward but the straps didn’t give his shoulders enough slack to lift.

Instead, Randy kissed a wet trail down Paul’s chest and torso. He paused to lick the

pre-come from the tip of Paul’s cock then continued down his legs. Pushing Paul’s
knees up, Randy reached for the remaining straps. This time, the material and cuffs
wrapped around his thigh just above the knee.

Circling the bed, Randy pulled on something Paul couldn’t see. The strap on his

right leg tightened, pulling his leg up toward his chest. Already feeling vulnerable, his
heart raced when Randy crawled over him and did the same to his left leg.

“You okay? Straps not too tight?” Leaning over the straps, Randy fluttered kisses

across Paul’s face.

Pulling with his arms and legs at the same time, Paul realized he was trussed up

tight and his ass was open to whatever Randy wanted to do. “I’m…okay.” His cock
ached with need and desire. “Do something,” he pleaded. “I need you.” Intense desire
racked his body. His hard-on was almost painful with anticipation.

Instead of joining him, Randy paced around the bed twice. His gaze was dark and

full of lust. “You look so fucking hot like that.” He tugged the leg straps holding his left
knee. “I could fuck you right now. Just like this.”

“Do it.” Paul didn’t want to believe the needy moan had been his. “Please, fucking

do it.”

“Not yet.” Randy crawled on the bed and sat cross-legged near the blue box. “First,

we need to get you primed.” Ripping the lid off, he tossed it on the floor. Randy flipped
through the box, rattling the contents as he searched for something.

Paul couldn’t see what was in the box but his imagination had taken off when

Randy wrapped the first restraint around his wrist.

“Aw, here it is.” Holding up a black rubber-looking device, Randy grinned.
Narrow at one end, it gradually grew thicker until it narrowed again sharply before

a flanged base. It looked as if it would stand up on the base. It didn’t look as long as
Randy’s cock but the bottom was thicker.

“Butt plug,” Randy announced. He started at the point and ran his finger down the

side. “This part goes in your ass.” He reached for one of the condoms. Ripping it open
with his teeth, he pulled the latex ring free. Looking over the plug, his gaze held Paul’s
attention. “And while it’s rammed inside you, I have plans for your cock…and your
mouth.” He slid the condom over the rubber toy.

“Oh fuck…” Paul clenched his ass. The idea of the black plug deep in him while

Randy… While Randy did anything.

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With a handful of lube, Randy coated the plug. Standing on the bed, he stepped

over the restraints. He kneeled between Paul’s thighs. Cold, lubed fingers pushed into
Paul’s ass without warning.

“You’re still stretched from your earlier fucking. Bet I could shove this plug inside

without any resistance.”

Paul rocked against Randy’s fingers. Biting his lip was the only way to keep from

begging Randy to do exactly what he said.

“Would you like that?”
Three fingers rammed inside Paul. Hard pumping met Paul’s feeble motion. The

restraints didn’t let him move much and it turned him on even more.

“Tell me what you want, Paul. You’re so open right now, I bet I could fit four

fingers inside you.”

A fourth finger wedged inside him.
“Do you want this,” Randy held up the plug so Paul could see it, “shoved inside

you instead of my fingers…instead of my hand?”

Much more and Randy would have his entire hand squeezed in his ass. Paul

nodded, his lip sore from biting it. His cock was so hard he was sure the slightest touch
would break him.

“You have to tell me what you want.” Randy’s tone was hard and commanding.

“The plug or my hand.”

“The plug. Shove it up my ass.” Paul startled himself with the hoarse yell. “Please

do something. I need to come.” The constant ache burned from his balls to the tip of his
cock.

A grin spread across Randy’s face. His fingers twisted around before he freed them

from Paul’s ass.

Paul closed his eyes when Randy lowered the plug out of sight between his legs.

The cold tip nuzzled his aching hole. His body pushed toward the invading force but
the restraints limited his motion. Too slow, Randy pressed the hard rubber inside him.

His greedy ass sucked in the tip with no effort. As the plug widened, a slight burn

teased his abused ass.

Randy stopped forward motion and tilted the tip up.
The point nudged Paul’s prostate. “Fuck!” Paul yanked at the restraints around his

wrists. He’d almost forgotten he was trussed up like a calf in a roping contest. His cock
jerked at the contact. Pre-come dripped on his stomach.

“Like that?” Randy wiggled the plug up and down.
Each touch to his prostate sent fire burning through his groin. “Please.” The plea

didn’t stop Randy from tormenting him. “Damn it, Randy, I need…need relief!”

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The plug slid home with a sucking noise. The base nestled against Paul’s ass. He

clenched his cheeks around the hardness and the wide part of the plug pressed against
his prostate again. “Suck me. Now.”

“In a minute, Paul.” Randy stood again. Stepping over the restraints, he walked up

the bed then he stopped with his feet straddling Paul’s head. “First, you suck me.”

As much as Paul needed to come, Randy’s words intensified a different need deep

in his stomach. Instead of arguing, he opened his mouth as Randy knelt over Paul’s
chest.

Leaning forward, Randy gripped the headboard with both hands. The angle put his

cock at Paul’s open mouth.

First licking the leaking pre-come from the tip, Paul strained his neck to wrap his

lips around the glans.

Randy teased him by pulling back, almost freeing his cock from Paul’s mouth.
Paul sucked harder, trying to capture his lover’s length. With a groan, Randy

lowered his body, filling Paul’s mouth with his flesh. Sucking with a greedy abandon
he’d never experienced before, he bobbed his head up and down. Randy caught his
tempo and Paul eased his head down on the pillow and let Randy control the
movement.

Never too deep, almost not deep enough, Randy fucked his mouth slow and steady.

The salty taste of pre-come splashed across his taste buds with each stroke. Paul lifted
his head and this time he matched Randy’s rhythm. The teasing touch of Randy’s cock
glanced against his throat with each stroke.

Sucking harder, Paul wanted to taste his lover’s come, feel it spurting into his

mouth and down his throat. Then emptiness as Randy pulled free.

“Damn.” Randy’s sweat-covered skin glistened above Paul. “Almost too much.”
“I wanted…to taste you.” Paul licked his dry, swollen lips.
“Shit.” Randy grabbed his cock. “Don’t do that. I still plan to fuck you with your

legs tied in the air.”

Paul needed to grab his own length. Instead all he could do was yank against his

restraints and grin at Randy’s shaky legs when he stood. “Having a little trouble there?”

“Yeah.” Randy stepped over to Paul’s right side and knelt. “That was so good.”

Leaning over, he brushed a gentle kiss. “But I’m going to be inside you when you come
screaming.”

“Yes. Do it. Because I’m going to come any minute now. With or without your

help.” Paul nipped at Randy’s lower lip before he moved out of range.

Randy grinned and moved down the bed to Paul’s groin. “You look like you’ve

already come.” Running a finger through the puddle of pre-come on Paul’s belly, he
raised his finger to his lips.

Straining against all his restraints, Paul clenched his ass around the plug. His cock

jerked with interest when Randy sucked the clear liquid from his finger.

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“Here,” he ran his finger across Paul’s stomach again, “taste yourself.” He pushed

his coated finger against Paul’s mouth.

He hesitated for only a second then swallowed Randy’s finger. His tongue twisted

around, gathering all the flavor of himself.

“You’re killing me,” Randy growled. He pulled his finger free. “And I think if I

don’t do you now, I won’t last.”

He stood again, stepped between the leg straps then kneeled. Reaching over Paul’s

leg, he grabbed the lube and another condom.

Paul could see the tip of his cock as he rolled the condom down his length.
Coating lube on his length, Randy hissed.
“What’s wrong?”
Randy shook his head. “Too close.” He ducked his gaze below Paul’s line of sight.
The plug wiggled free in a long, slow pull. The emptiness was almost unbearable.

Paul was ready to beg when Randy pressed his cock against his anus. His sigh of relief
was in stereo with Randy’s as his lover’s length filled him in one long, hard stroke.

“For God’s sake, move.” Paul needed it hard, rough.
“Oh, I love a pushy bottom.” Randy didn’t argue though. He pulled completely out

and slammed home again. After two more similar strokes, Randy pushed Paul’s legs up
higher and started pounding Paul’s ass.

Paul wrapped his hands around the straps and held on as Randy rode his ass hard.

Each stroke sent waves of pleasure washing over his body. His cock bounced against
his stomach with each blow. Need built in his balls, his gut, until his body lost control.

Come spurted across his stomach, his chest, even his face. Licking the warm liquid

from his lips, he groaned at the bitter taste of his own semen. His ass clenched around
Randy’s cock, squeezing hard.

Randy’s shout signaled his climax. His hips pressed tight against Paul’s ass while

his body jerked with tremors. “Oh fuck.” He fell forward between Paul’s thighs. His
stomach spread slick come between them. “That’s…oh shit.”

“Good?” Paul gasped. He reached for Randy but the straps kept his hands over his

head.

“Yeah. Understatement.” Randy fumbled above Paul’s head. Tugging one of the

cuffs, the Velcro screeched in release. He grabbed the other and ripped it open.

Arms freed, Paul wrapped Randy in a tight embrace. If his legs were free, he’d have

wrapped those around him as well. “Unbelievable.” He tugged at Randy’s short hair
until his lover lifted his face toward him. Kissing him, Paul fell harder for the man in his
arms, still in his ass.

But was it lust or love that tied him to Randy?

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Chapter Eleven

Randy watched Paul sleeping by the dim light shining from the bathroom. The

alarm would go off in another twenty minutes. He hadn’t slept well. Not because of
another body in his bed, but because he wanted that same body there all the time.

Somewhere in the middle of last night’s sexual escapades, Randy realized he

wanted more from Paul than the weekend fuck. He had to. Tests or no tests, Randy
wasn’t one to take chances with HIV. The thought of contracting AIDS terrified the shit
out of him.

Now Paul waltzes into his life and all his precautions and convictions fly out the

window. And what about his mother? Having a male roommate at his age is not exactly
normal. Especially if he didn’t need the extra money.

His mother had been his rock his entire life. He never knew his father—he had

disappeared when Randy was a baby. No siblings, no aunts and uncles or cousins. It
was as if his mother had fallen out of nowhere with him in her arms. The two of them
against everyone else. And he’d survived, spectacularly. She was so proud of him for
putting himself through college, becoming a success. She loved to brag to her friends
about how he had bought her a house, paid her bills so she didn’t have to work.

Would the pride in her eyes fade if he told her he loved another man? Could their

close relationship survive if he did?

Paul stirred in his sleep. His fingers scratched at his chest then slid down to do the

same to his balls.

With a smile, Randy slid his hand across Paul’s chest and followed his lover’s hand

lower. Pushing Paul’s hand out of the way, he wrapped his fingers around Paul’s half-
erect cock. It didn’t take much to manipulate Paul to hardness.

Small whimpered breaths eased from Paul’s mouth. His hand fumbled against

Randy’s then fell to his side.

Easing under the sheet, Randy snuggled against Paul’s thigh. Paul groaned when

Randy licked the tip of his cock. Randy held his breath for a second but Paul didn’t stir.
Easing up on his elbow, he captured the head in his mouth. He trailed his teeth in a
gentle scrap across the ridge of the crown while he teased the slit with his tongue.

Paul’s hand rose up and fondled Randy’s hair. A soft moan grew louder when

Randy took more of his cock in his mouth.

“Fuck!” Paul was awake now. His other hand joined the first. Cupping Randy’s

head, he mumbled something Randy couldn’t make out.

The sheet yanked off Randy. Paul’s eyes glittered in the dim light.
“Turn around.”

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Randy’s cock twitched with anticipation as he scooted his body around until his

groin was near Paul’s head.

“Straddle my face.”
It was Randy’s turn to groan. Scrambling over Paul, he planted his knees just above

Paul’s head.

Paul’s mouth caught the head of his cock. Sucking gently, he swiped his tongue

around the crown. Pulling his mouth free, he whispered, “I really liked having you fuck
my mouth last night.” He licked the length of Randy’s cock. “Do it again.” Wet heat
swallowed Randy again.

Kissing around the base of Paul’s length, he began moving his hips with a shallow

stroke. Paul’s head lifted to meet him and he hummed something around Randy’s cock
that he chose to interpret as “more”. When Randy lengthened his stroke, Paul rested his
head back on the pillow.

Paul’s hands rubbed Randy’s calves and the back of his thighs. After a few seconds,

he slipped his hands under Randy’s shins, pinning himself to the bed.

“Fuck…” Randy whispered into Paul’s scratchy public hair. Swallowing Paul’s

cock, he set a fast pace devouring his lover—the same pace he fucked Randy’s mouth.

At this rate, Randy wouldn’t last long. From the moans vibrating his cock, neither

would Paul.

Deeper he plunged with both his cock and mouth. As his throat tightened around

Paul’s length, his lover mimicked his actions. He pulled his mouth off Paul, his hand
still stroked him. “Damn, gonna come.”

Instead of pulling away or letting Randy lift off him, Paul pulled his hands free and

grabbed Randy’s hips. Two more deep strokes and Randy shot his come down Paul’s
throat.

Paul’s cock erupted on Randy’s cheek, spurting into his hair. Randy rubbed the tip

through the warm liquid on his face. “Oh God, Paul…” He bit off the other words
threatening to escape. It was too soon.

* * * * *

In spite of the early rising and the long drive home, Paul felt more relaxed than he

had in ages. Something about waking next to Randy gave Paul great satisfaction.
Waking with Randy’s mouth on his cock was even better.

One more discovery. Paul liked being held or tied down. Maybe because he’d

always been expected to perform—in all parts of his life. By his dad, his girlfriends,
even his mother, although her expectations were to get along with his father, teachers,
coaches, clients…

Letting go and giving control to someone else was almost freeing. Instead of feeling

shame for wanting to submit to someone else, he was turned-on.

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The front door of the office opened and closed. Paul had made it in early so he

expected Liz to poke her head in his door. Instead, his father barged into the room, his
face already red with anger.

“Where were you yesterday?”
Instead of shrinking back into his chair or sputtering apologies, Paul met his

father’s angry gaze and said, “I took the afternoon off. I told Liz I was leaving for the
day.”

“Where did you go? And why didn’t you answer your phone?”
“I wanted some time alone and I didn’t want to answer any calls. I turned off my

phone.”

“Alone? Time alone? What kind of answer is that?” The judge slammed both palms

on the edge of Paul’s desk. “I don’t know what’s up with you, Paul, but if you don’t
shape up—”

Paul stood so fast his father actually backed away. “Or what, Dad? The same tired

old line of disinheriting me? You know what, I don’t give a flying fuck about your
money and I’m tired of answering to you for every move I make.”

“Watch your language, boy!”
Rolling his eyes, Paul slammed his hands on the edge of his desk in perfect mimicry

of his father. “I’m not playing your games anymore, Dad. If you can’t handle that I’m a
grown man with a life of my own, or at least I want a life of my own, then the hell with
you and your money. I’ve spent my entire life kowtowing to you and what you think I
should be or do.”

“Don’t you dare talk back to me.” His father clenched his fists, raising one toward

Paul.

“Or what? You’ll beat the living mess out of me like you did when I was a kid?”
“You aren’t grown enough to stop me.” His father sputtered his words. His face

was beet red, almost purple.

For a minute, Paul’s mind yelled “Who cares” but as much as he disagreed with his

father, Paul didn’t wish the old man dead. “Dad, calm down. Your blood pressure…”

“Now you care about me!” His hoarse yell ended with a loud gasp. His eyes bulged

and for the first time in Paul’s life, the old man showed real fear.

Paul ran around the desk in time to catch him before he fell. As he lowered him to

the floor, Liz made an appearance. “Call an ambulance. He’s having a stroke or a heart
attack.”

She ran out of his office.
Holding his father in his arms, he whispered, “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m so sorry.”
With the fire station around the corner, the sirens didn’t take long to sound or

arrive. As the first responders burst into the office, Paul whispered again, “I’m sorry.”

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* * * * *

Paul paced the hall outside the emergency room. The police chief had gone to pick

up his mother. Paul couldn’t stand the idea of leaving his father. If he died…

His mother hurried into the hospital. Her limp from arthritis was more noticeable

when she rushed. Her pale face and grim expression let him know Chief Harsten had
already told her what happened.

“Paul, where is he?”
“In with the doctors.” Paul wrapped his mother in his arms.
“What happened?”
“It’s my fault. We argued. I should have backed down. I shouldn’t have provoked

him.”

“You actually argued with your father?” Her incredulous tone overwrote her

concern. “When did you start standing up to him enough to argue?”

“I…”
She shook her head. “Never mind that now. Your father is a tough old bird. And if

he lost an argument, he’ll live just for the rematch.”

Paul muffled a laugh. His mother’s attitude always amazed him. She’d put up with

his father for over forty years and never lost her sense of humor. “How have you lived
with him all these years?”

“Oh sweetie, he isn’t as bad as you think. His daddy was hard on him so he doesn’t

know any other way to deal with you. He can be an old softie when he gets the notion
in his head.”

“I still shouldn’t have argued with him.”
“I need to sit down.” She pulled away from him then hooked her arm near his

elbow. “Come on, Paul.” The urgency less, she walked steady to the uncomfortable
plastic chairs.

He let her hold onto his arm as she sat down. Once seated, she patted the chair next

to her. “Sit.”

Like a well trained puppy he sat.
“Now don’t you worry too much about causing this episode. Your daddy has been

having them off and on for a while now.”

“Why didn’t someone tell me?” Paul tried to think back for clues to his father’s

condition.

“You know how he is about illness. It’s a sign of weakness.” His mom laughed.

“And the last thing your daddy is going to show is weakness.”

“What’s wrong with him?”
“Arterial blockage. Dr. Barnes wants him to have bypass surgery but the judge

won’t hear of it. Says it’ll take him out of the action when he can’t afford it.”

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“What action? He’s a judge in a backwater county. What could be worth more than

his health—hell, his life?”

“Watch your language, son, unless you plan to spout Scripture.” Betty Loughton

didn’t like harsh language. Hell and damn unless used in the biblical sense weren’t
allowed.

“Sorry, Momma.” He ducked his head then peered up at her from under his lashes.
Her laugh rang out in the cold hospital hallway. “You still know how to get over on

me.”

“As long as it works.” Paul patted his mother’s arm. The same actions as a child

had saved him from many a spanking. “I wish I could have found a way to make Dad
laugh off his anger.”

“He’s not so much angry with you as he is at himself.” She leaned over closer to

Paul. “And if you tell anyone I said that, especially him, I’ll lie.”

“What’s he got to be angry about?”
She sighed as her hand squeezed Paul’s forearm. “So many dreams he had and he

never got around to doing them. His daddy had him tied up in the law firm until it was
too late.”

“Yeah. I know.” Paul nodded. “He wanted to be in politics.”
“Oh no. That was his daddy’s doin’. He wasn’t particularly fond of politics. But his

dad insisted. His granddaddy was a state senator in the first Arkansas senate. The
grand old tradition was supposed to be handed down to each son in the family. When
he couldn’t make a go of state politics, he felt he’d failed his family, his heritage. I guess
his pushing you was a way to make up for his failure.” She shook her head. “No,
actually your daddy wanted to make the military a career. Almost joined up when he
turned eighteen.” A soft laugh slipped out.

“Military? Dad would have made a great drill sergeant.” Paul leaned his head back

against the hard wall behind him. “Why didn’t he?”

“His daddy found out. And, woo boy, was he mad! Said he wouldn’t have an

enlisted man as a son. His grandfather was an officer in the Confederate army. Before
that, he had an ancestor who was a captain of a navy boat.” She leaned over and
whispered. “Although family rumor has it he was a pirate.”

Paul chuckled at the image of someone resembling his father dressed in tight pants,

boots and a frilly shirt brandishing a sword.

“Anyway, his daddy ‘convinced’ him to stay home and go to college, get his law

degree.” She smiled up at Paul. “I don’t think he completely regretted it. I probably
wouldn’t have met him if he had left for the big wide world. Never had you.”

“He’d probably be happier if you hadn’t had me. He never seems to approve of

anything I do.” He wondered what would happen if his father found out about Randy.
He might act as if Paul were never born.

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“Like I said, his father raised him stern and he doesn’t know how else to do it.

Although he is proud of you, of what you’ve done. Your grades and sports. Lordy, he
used to drive me crazy talking about your football prowess.”

“He never said anything to me.”
“And he probably never will. Too touchy-feely for him.”
And if he found out how touchy-feely Paul had been with Randy…
“But, Paul, he does love you in his own way.”
“Only if I do things his way and don’t stray from the chosen path.”
“Well, there’s that.” She patted his hand.
“Mom, there’s things… Things I can’t tell him, can’t tell you.” As much as he’d like

to do what he wanted, be with Randy without worrying about it, it would never
happen. If an argument could cause his dad to have a heart attack, what would finding
out his son was gay do?

The examination room door opened and saved Paul from saying something he

couldn’t take back.

“How is he?” He stood and helped his mother to her feet.
Dr. Barnes smiled. “He’s a tough old coot. But he’s not invincible.” The doctor took

Betty’s hand. “He needs the bypass surgery and he needs it now. He’s out of it right
now so I’m going to get some paperwork for you to sign for him.”

Relief spread through Paul that his father was alive. “Is this hospital equipped to do

bypass surgery?” he asked.

“No, we’re going to med flight him to Little Rock, the Heart Hospital.

Unfortunately, there’s no room for passengers. He’s stable so they probably won’t
operate until late this afternoon or even tomorrow. It depends on how he handles the
ride and if he stays stabilized.”

“Get the paperwork. I’ll drive Mom up there as soon as we grab a few things.”
Dr. Barnes nodded.
Betty shook her head. “You know he’s going to be one unhappy man when he

realizes what we’ve done.”

Laughing, Barnes patted Betty on the shoulder. “I know. But you can handle him.

You’re the only one who can.”

* * * * *

Paul had dropped his mother off at her house and raced to his. He’d throw some

clothes in a bag. No idea how long they’d be in Little Rock.

He pulled his secret cell phone out of his pocket and started to leave it on the table.

On second thought, he turned it off and tossed it in his bag. His toiletries and a book
followed the phone. Zipping the bag, he headed out of the house to his truck.

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The short drive back to his mother’s wasn’t enough to sift through all the thoughts

racing in his mind. One thought kept popping up and guilt flooded him every time.
This weekend with Randy was probably not going to happen.

“Maybe never again.” His courage to stand against his father failed at the idea of

losing him. Paul’s willingness to do as he was told was the only way they could get
along. The idea of killing his father was not a happy one.

When he pulled up to the house, Diane’s car was sitting in the driveway.
“Shit.” The last thing he needed was her interference. But he couldn’t leave. His

mother needed him.

Climbing out of the truck, he steeled himself for battle. Before he reached the door,

his mother came out with an overnight bag. Diane followed with a small suitcase.

“It’s okay, dear,” his mother was saying. “Paul will take care of me. There’s no need

for you to take time from your busy schedule to sit with me at the hospital.”

“I don’t mind, Mother Loughton. I wouldn’t be a very good daughter-in-law if I

didn’t put your comfort over my own.”

Paul shook his head in disgust. He yanked the suitcase out of Diane’s hand. “You

aren’t going to be her daughter-in-law. I’m not marrying you. Now leave us alone.”

“Now, Paul, darling, is that any way to act? I’ve decided to forgive you for

straying.” She arched her eyebrow as her mouth thinned into a sneer. “Everything will
be fine once we’re married.”

“Straying?” Betty Loughton’s eyebrows matched Diane’s. “You’ll have to tell me all

about your new girlfriend on the drive, Paul.”

Diane’s murderous glare softened into a smirk. “Yes, Paul, you do that. Tell your

momma all about her.”

“Maybe I’ll do that.” What could Diane know? Her emphasis on the word her was

intentional. She couldn’t know about Randy. Could she? Pushing Diane’s maliciousness
aside, he helped his mother to his truck. Tossing the suitcase and overnight bag in the
backseat with his, he helped her up the steep step to the seat.

With the door closed, Paul turned to Diane. “Stay out of my life and my business or

you’ll regret it.”

“And how do you think your father will handle knowing your foolin’ around with

that queer Randy Martin? Do you think your momma will appreciate you killin’ her
husband?” The more vicious Diane became, the thicker her accent grew.

“You have no idea what you are talking about. If you start spreading

unsubstantiated rumors, you’ll regret it.”

She grabbed his arm as he started around the truck to the driver’s side. “How do

you know I don’t have proof?”

Resisting the very strong urge to hit her, he yanked his arm away. “Because there’s

nothing to have proof of. Now leave me and my family alone before I do something
you’ll regret.”

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His words or the anger on his face must have had some effect because she backed

away. He almost ran around the truck and climbed inside. Starting the engine, he barely
resisted the urge to burn rubber as he started down the street.

* * * * *

For the first hour of the drive, Paul was grateful for his mother’s silence. Although

she wouldn’t have been able to hear what they said from inside the well soundproofed
truck, she knew Diane and he had had an argument.

The silence became unbearable after he calmed. He couldn’t think about his crazy

ex. His mother needed him. She didn’t need one more thing to worry about right now.

“You can slow down a little now, son. I don’t think she followed us.”
Paul smirked as he glanced at her. “Sometimes I feel like I’m being pursued by the

devil.”

“She is a real piece of work, that one.” Betty looked out the window at the passing

scenery. “What possessed you to start dating her again anyway?”

Shaking his head, he sighed. “I don’t know. She was available? Dad was after me to

marry appropriately?”

“Well, she would make the perfect wife, if you like them plastic.” She snorted, a

rude noise he rarely heard from his mother. “Does that girl have any of her original
parts?”

His laugh was genuine. His mother had a sharp wit when she cared to share it. “I

don’t think so. She certainly doesn’t look like she did in high school. Unfortunately, her
personality has only gotten worse.”

“I’m not sure how you’re going to get rid of her. She’s very…persistent.”
“Delusional is a better word.” Paul concentrated on passing an eighteen-wheeler.

At his current speed, he’d make Little Rock in a little less than an hour and a half. Great
time but he was exceeding the limit a little.

“She certainly believes she has something to make you take her back.”
Now past the big rig, he glanced at his mother.
“Does she?” she asked. “Have something on you?”
He focused his attention back on the road. “Nothing that I know of.” And he didn’t.

She couldn’t know about Randy. Other than the reunion, there was no way of knowing
he’d been seeing Randy.

Even the reunion wasn’t damning. She had been occupied with some of her old

friends when he left with Randy. In the dark parking lot, it would have been almost
impossible to make out his identity from a distance.

His trips to Little Rock had been unannounced. He’d left no word of where he was

going. Short of staking out his truck, she couldn’t know where he’d been. And even on
the off chance she’d found out, followed him, whatever, he and Randy had kept any

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damning behavior behind closed doors. But then the car at Randy’s yesterday could
have been… No, she couldn’t have known where he was going.

“You’re worried about something.”
“Of course I am. I’m worried about Dad.”
“Beside that.”
He couldn’t lie to his mother but he could prevaricate. “Nothing important and

nothing I want to talk about.”

“Very well. When you’re ready to talk, you know I will listen.”
“I know, Mom. I know.” He reached across the cab of the truck and patted her arm.

“Thank you.”

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Chapter Twelve

Randy looked at his phone for the umpteenth time that evening. He’d expected

Paul to call by now. He’d promised not to call him. Paul didn’t want to have to explain
the second cell phone.

Nearly ten, Randy was tired. Last night he’d stayed up longer than he was

accustomed and he was up this morning earlier than usual. Not that he was
complaining.

Paul’s obvious enthusiasm for a little bondage satisfied one of Randy’s few kinks.

Even this morning, Paul had restrained his arms under Randy’s legs.

The memory woke his cock up but ideas for future encounters had him hard in

seconds. He had some stuff in boxes hidden in the garage. The first one that came to
mind was the canvas sling rolled up and stuffed in a box labeled with an innocuous
“workshop” written across the side.

Having Paul’s legs strapped high, ass at the perfect level to fuck… He rubbed up

and down the length of his cock with the palm of his hand. How far could he push his
new lover?

His ex-boyfriend Javier had had a submissive streak and introduced Randy to the

joys of light bondage. They’d never done much past tying up, sling sex or some
spanking, but Randy found the whole situation fascinating. Something about having his
lover at his mercy revved his libido.

His cell phone buzzed him out of his thoughts. “Hello.”
“Hey.” Paul’s voice was low on the other end and there was a lot of background

noise.

“What’s up?”
“I’m in Little Rock. We had to fly my dad to the Heart Hospital.”
Randy sat up in his bed. “Is he okay?”
“He’s just out of bypass surgery.” Paul’s voice cracked on the other end of the line.

“I had an argument with him. How was I supposed to know he had a heart condition?
Neither he nor my mother said a word. The stubborn old jackass didn’t want anyone to
know because he sees illness as a sign of weakness. Wouldn’t even have the surgery
done when the doctor suggested it because he’d be out of the loop too long for
recovery.” A long draw of breath sounded through the phone.

“Are you okay?” Randy wanted to reach through the phone and hold him.
“Yes—no… I don’t know. I’m so tired. My mother wants to stay at the hospital with

him. They fixed her a bed near him.”

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“Where are you staying?”
“There’s a Hampton Inn a block down. I got a room there.”
“What’s the room number? I’ll come there.” Randy climbed out of bed as he spoke.

Shouldering the phone, he grabbed a pair of jeans out of the closet and stuffed his leg
into them.

“That wouldn’t be a good idea…”
With one leg in his pants, Randy stopped. Paul was right. Having his gay lover with

him at the hospital where his homophobic father was having surgery… “Okay.”

“But I’d like to have you here.”
“So I’ll be there.” Randy finished pulling his jeans on and grabbed a T-shirt.

“What’s the address and your room number?”

Paul rattled off the information. “Call me from the elevator. I’ll have the door

open.”

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes—less this late at night.”
“Thank you.”

* * * * *

Randy kept pushing his speed then easing off. He didn’t need a ticket tonight. The

delay would drive him crazy. Part of him needed to know more about Paul and his
father’s argument.

Would he have suddenly decided to tell his father he was gay? That would have

definitely sent the old man to the hospital.

He eased the car off I-630 and on to Shackleford Road. The Hampton Inn sign was

visible once he started up the long hill. Turning in to the parking lot, he headed for the
back row. Better to have his car a little hidden rather than parked next to Paul’s truck.

Hurrying across the parking lot and into the lobby, his mind worried about being

here. If anyone should see him… But if Paul’s mother was at the hospital, it should be
safe.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, he pressed redial on his phone.
“Hello.”
“I’m here.”
“Good. The door’s open. You don’t need to knock.” Paul sounded exhausted.
Randy almost sprinted down the hall to the room. Pushing the door open, he

entered quickly and shut it behind him.

Paul sat on the foot of one of the two queen-sized beds. His eyes were red and his

shoulders were sagging,. Exhaustion and tension radiated through him.

“You look like shit.” Randy sat down next to him.
Paul didn’t laugh at his poor attempt at a joke. “I shouldn’t have argued with him.”

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Slipping his arm around Paul, Randy whispered against his ear. “How could you

have known what would happen if they haven’t told you about his condition?”

“I know. I tell myself that and then I go back to blaming myself.” He leaned into

Randy and slipped his arm around his waist. “Thank you for coming.”

“Any time.” Randy kissed his forehead. “But you need some sleep. Come on.” He

stood then pulled Paul to his feet.

Tugging Paul’s dress shirt out of his slacks, Randy undid the buttons then pushed it

off his shoulders. Next he tackled the button and zipper on his slacks.

Paul toed off his shoes then sat down and let Randy slip his pants off.
Leaving Paul in his underwear, Randy ordered, “Come on.”
Paul obeyed without a word and let Randy lead him around to the side of one bed.

Waiting patiently, or just too tired to do anything, Paul stood there until Randy pulled
the covers down then he crawled in bed.

“You coming to bed?”
“Of course,” Randy whispered. “Give me a minute.” He set the air conditioner then

stripped off his clothes down to his briefs. Killing the light on the nightstand, he
crawled under the covers next to Paul.

Like a moth to heat, Paul scooted close to Randy and wrapped his arms around

him. With a few mumbled words, he fell asleep with his head on Randy’s shoulder and
one leg over Randy’s thighs.

“Good night to you too.” Randy stroked Paul’s hair and tried to keep his thoughts

out of forbidden territory, but he didn’t do a very good job of it. He liked being here for
Paul, being the one he called when he was troubled. His mind kept thinking about
things like living together, being able to be there for each other without worrying about
who might see, but he knew it couldn’t happen.

Instead, he welcomed the hard body next to him and tried to be glad he could be

some comfort even if it was in secret.

* * * * *

A trilling noise pulled Paul out of a dead sleep. Fumbling toward the sound, he

encountered a hard body between him and his cell phone. “Randy…” His memory
dredged up last night…tonight? It was still dark.

The hospital? His dad? Paul scrambled over Randy and grabbed the phone.

“Hello?”

“Well, hello. About time you answered the phone.” Diane’s voice drawled through

the line.

“Diane, what the fuck do you want and why are you calling me at midnight?”

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“I decided to do the daughterly thing and drive up. Thought I’d get a room so I

could be there for you and your mother first thing in the morning. And to my surprise,
whose car do I find in the parking lot?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Paul kept the edge of anger in his voice

although panic welled up in his throat.

“Why, Randy Martin’s pretty blue Mercedes. Imagine that. I wonder what he’s

doing here.”

“Diane, a lot of people have blue Mercedes. Now why don’t you turn around and

go back home? You aren’t wanted here by me or my mother.”

Randy sat up next to Paul but kept quiet.
“But I know this car is Randy’s. The parking sticker on the windshield is the same

company as his. I don’t think they all drive blue Mercedes. I also know you’ve been
visiting him on the sly. I just wonder what your daddy would think about your little
homo affair. Might put the poor man in his grave, don’t you think?”

“Diane, you stay away from my family, you hear, or I will—”
“Will what?” Her soft Southern drawl turned hard and concise. “Your only option

now is to find someone to marry real quick so these vicious rumors will be laid to rest.
Lucky for you, I don’t mind marrying a man who likes a little butt sex on the side. As
long as his finances are right.”

Anger and fear warred for top place. Anger won. “I’m not marrying you and you

can’t blackmail me into it. I can deny rumors. No one will believe the jilted ex-fiancée.
Everyone will say it’s a sad case of sour grapes. Now leave me alone.” Paul punched the
end button and threw his phone across the room.

“I take it Diane saw my car.” Randy rubbed his hand down Paul’s back.
Paul couldn’t stop a shudder at Randy’s touch. Nor could he keep from leaning

away from him.

“I guess I should go.” Randy started to climb out of bed.
“No.” Paul grabbed Randy’s forearm. “No, please. I’m sorry. She’s just making me

crazy.”

“What if she lures your mother over and I’m here?”
Paul knew Diane was capable of doing exactly that. He let go of Randy’s arm and

stood. Leaning over the second bed, he yanked down the covers and punched the
pillows a few times to leave a head-shaped indention. “There. I called a friend. The only
one I have in Little Rock. The room has two beds, so what of it?”

“Kind of a poor solution if Diane is spouting rumors.”
“At this point, I don’t care. She might go to my mother, but she won’t dare face my

father, not at this point. His health will keep her at bay. He’s her only ally in the battle
to marry me off.” Paul eased back down on the bed with Randy. He clasped his hand,
twining their fingers together.

“And your mother?”

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Paul shook his head. “I don’t think she’ll believe her. She knows what kind of bitch

Diane is and she can’t stand her either.”

“And other people in town?” Randy squeezed Paul’s hand.
“Like I said, they’ll think she’s being vindictive because I broke up with her.”
“Paul, some people will believe just because they want to. It can still cause you

trouble.”

“I know.” Paul’s gaze met Randy’s. “But she’s probably waiting outside for you to

make a run for it. My way,” he tilted his head toward the rumpled bed, “at least seems
less guilty.”

“Whatever you say.”
“Now I need to find my phone so I can call and check on Dad.”

* * * * *

Randy woke with warmth lining the front of his body. Legs tangled and cock

nestled against the crack of Paul’s ass, he couldn’t think of a better way to wake. Except
maybe if he could wake Paul by pushing his morning hard-on into his lover’s tight ass.
Too bad the circumstances of last night’s phone call from Diane prohibited leaving the
room smelling of sex.

Instead, he kissed Paul’s shoulder, slid his legs free and rolled away from

temptation. Climbing out of bed, he checked the time. Almost six in the morning. If he
grabbed a shower here, he’d have time to go home, change and be to work by eight.

A quick glance at the unused bed told him it wouldn’t fool anyone. Crawling in, he

pulled the covers up over him and twisted his legs through the tightly made foot of the
bed. He lay there for a minute, letting the impression of his head settle into the pillow.

“Whatcha doin’?”
Randy glanced over at a sleepy-eyed Paul. “Making it really look like it was slept

in.”

His lover’s smile crinkled his eyes almost shut. Batting his lashes until his sleepy

eyes opened again, he nodded against the pillow. “Thank you for being here. For
putting up with the bullshit.”

“Any time.” Randy swallowed against a lump in his throat. He wanted to say more,

such as how he’d do anything for Paul because he’d fallen in love with him. But his
words wouldn’t be quite true. He still couldn’t tell his mother.

A knock at the door startled both of them. Paul’s eyes flew open as panic shed the

sleepiness. “Who is it?”

“It’s your mother, dear.”
Paul flew out of the bed, grabbing his slacks from the chair where Randy left them.

Stuffing his legs in them, he reached the door before Randy could protest.

“Is Dad okay?”

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Mrs. Loughton’s voice drifted in from the hall. “Yes, he is. He woke up several

times during the night. I had serious words with him about getting so riled.”

“Mom, a friend of mine stayed here last night.”
“Really?” Her voice was closer.
Randy ducked all but his head under the covers just as she stepped out of the small

foyer and into the room.

“I recognize you. You’re the Martin boy.”
“Yes, ma’am. Randy Martin.”
She smiled as if she were greeting him in a receiving line at a ball. Paul’s mother

always had an antebellum elegance about her.

Paul moved beside her. “He’s the only friend I have in Little Rock, Mom. And I

needed to talk to someone.”

“Well, he’s a good friend indeed to come by so late. It was almost ten when you left

the hospital. Thank you, Mr. Martin, for being here for my son.”

“It’s Randy. And any time, ma’am.” Randy couldn’t crawl out of bed in just his

underwear, but he felt like a fool having a conversation with Paul’s mother from the
bed.

“I’ll go and let you boys get dressed. Join me for breakfast downstairs? Both of

you.” Her gaze flipped back and forth between Randy and her son.

“Yes, ma’am.” Randy and Paul answered in unison like two errant schoolboys.
Her smile was infectious and Randy couldn’t help but grin. Although he wished the

flush creeping up his neck would stop before it was visible on his face.

“I’ll leave you to it then.” She exited the room like a duchess leaving a ball.
Randy exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Damn.”
Leaning against the wall, Paul let go of the waistband of his pants and buried his

head in his hands in a poor attempt to stifle his laugh. His slacks slid down his legs,
turning his chortling into screams of laughter.

Randy joined him, pulling the blanket over his head to keep the noise level to a

minimum. What a way to start a day!

* * * * *

The dining room of the hotel was more elegant than Randy expected. His jeans and

T-shirt felt out of place, especially walking in beside Paul in his slacks and dress shirt. A
quick touch of an iron and Paul was looking good. Nothing could help Randy.

As if he’d been transformed back into the awkward high-school student out of his

element, Randy held back until he was following Paul.

No one would ever know Mrs. Loughton had spent the night next to a hospital bed.

Randy didn’t think she’d ever look worn or rumpled. Probably never had.

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He should have made his excuses and left. Maybe he still could. He held back while

Paul kissed his mother’s forehead then sat next to her.

“Have a seat, Randy.” She motioned for him to sit opposite Paul. “How is your

mother doing?”

“She’s good. A few health problems but it’s under control.” Randy eased into the

indicated chair.

“That’s good to hear. I haven’t heard from her in years.” Mrs. Loughton picked up a

carafe. “Coffee?”

“Yes, ma’am, thank you.” He held out the cup at his place setting for her to fill.

“She lives here now. Retired, has a house just outside of town.”

Replacing the carafe on the table, she turned the full effect of her smile on him. “I’m

glad she’s doing well. She was always so sweet whenever we visited. I’m sure she’s
happy to have you so close.”

“When you visited?” Randy had no idea his mother had ever met Mrs. Loughton.

Their social circles certainly didn’t cross.

“Yes, when she worked at that little coffeehouse near downtown. They had the best

breakfast in town. I’d go in for a late breakfast at least once a week. When things were
slow, she’d sit and talk with me. I missed our visits when she moved.”

“Really?” Paul seemed as surprised as Randy.
“Most of the time we’d talk about our sons. A mother’s pride always dominates a

conversation.”

“I never knew.” Randy tried to stave off the blush threatening his face again. For

some reason, the idea of his mother and his Paul’s mother talking about the two of
them, even twenty-something years ago, made him uncomfortable.

“Oh dear. Watch out, son, we have company.” Mrs. Loughton patted Paul’s hand

then glanced down at her coffee.

“Well, isn’t this just a comfy little situation?” Diane’s voice dripped sarcasm.
“Good morning, Diane.” Mrs. Loughton’s pleasant tone ignored Diane’s attitude. “I

didn’t realize you were in town.”

Without being invited, Diane pulled the last chair at the table out and sat. “I came

up last night so I could be here for Paul. However, I found he already had company for
his bed.”

“Yes, Randy was kind enough to come over and keep Paul company last night. It

was a rough evening for us both but I didn’t want to leave the judge alone.” She patted
Randy’s hand in the same motherly fashion she used on Paul. “He always was such a
nice young man.”

Diane’s face turned red and her mouth gaped open for several seconds. “A nice

young man? If you like fags, I guess so.”

Randy’s heart jumped in his throat. He never expected Diane to follow through on

her threat.

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Before he could speak, the formidable woman Randy remembered from his

childhood suddenly appeared. “Young lady, I will not have that kind of talk in my
presence. If you can’t behave in a proper manner, you may be excused from the table.”

“It’s a free country. I can stay if I want to.” Her eyes glared at Paul and then his

mother. “And I can’t believe you’d let your pride and joy hang around with a queer. I
can only imagine the things Randy Martin—”

“Ms. Warren, if you have any desire to remain in your current social circles, you

had better think twice before you continue speaking. One word in the right ears and
you’ll find every door in town, in this part of the state, slammed in your face.” Mrs.
Loughton’s voice held a coldness that sent shivers down Randy’s spine. “Now you may
leave and we will finish our discussion regarding proper behavior at a later date.” She
raised a hand toward the waiter.

The young man scurried over to the table. “May I help you, ma’am?”
“This young woman was just leaving. Would you please make sure she finds her

way out?”

“Yes, ma’am.” The waiter walked over to Diane’s chair and held the back. “Miss,

please come with me.”

Diane shot up out of the chair. “You can’t do this to me, you old tight-assed bitch.”
Almost knocking his chair over, Paul leapt toward her. “You don’t talk to my

mother that way. Now get out of here before I disappoint her by hitting a woman.”

The color fled from Diane’s face as the waiter grabbed her by the arm. Pulling her

toward the exit, another man joined him and took Diane’s other arm.

Mrs. Loughton took a dainty sip of her coffee. “Well, that was unpleasant. I’m going

to have to do something about her.”

Randy didn’t want to admit anything, but the intense need to apologize made his

skin itch. “Ma’am, I’m sorry about that. She’s just dredging up old rumors from high
school and—”

The older woman raised her hand. “Randy, I’ve known about you for more than

twenty years and it hasn’t affected my goodwill at all. You have no need to explain
yourself. Diane was being vindictive because my son had the good sense to fall in love
with someone besides her.”

It was Randy’s turn to go pale. And Paul’s. “Mom, I—”
“Oh sweetie, it’s okay. I understand. I think I’ve always known. Why do you think

Mrs. Martin and I had so much to talk about back then?”

“My mother?” Her words slammed into Randy as if a wall had fallen on him. His

breath whooshed out and wouldn’t come back. “My. Mother.” His gasps for air sent
Paul around the table to kneel at his side.

“Randy, you look like you’re going to pass out. Breathe. Come on. Breathe.” One

hand rubbed Randy’s back between his shoulder blades while the other cupped
Randy’s hand.

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“I’m so sorry, Randy. I didn’t realize you hadn’t said anything to your mother.”

Mrs. Loughton squeezed Randy’s other hand. “She’s always known, or suspected. I just
thought, with the closeness of your relationship, you’d have told her by now.”

Air began to filter back into his lungs. “She’s known…all along.”
Paul leaned his cheek against Randy’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Nodding slowly, his mind raced with questions. He thought he’d been so careful,

not letting anything slip around his mother. “What about you?” Turning to stare at
Paul, he watched Paul go from pale to ghost.

“How could you know anything, Mom? Hell, I didn’t even admit it to myself until a

couple of weeks ago.”

“Watch your language, son. And a mother usually knows. I think the biggest clue

was that you talked in your sleep as a teenager.”

“I what?”
Randy thought he’d have to pick Paul up from the floor.
“And instead of whispering your latest girlfriend’s name, which you went through

so many I lost count, you would whisper his.” She nodded at Randy.

“I what?” Paul’s gaze darted at Randy then his mother and finally the floor.
His mother leaned across Randy and patted the hand that still held Randy’s. “You

need to expand your vocabulary a little, son. We’ll have to work on that.”

“Mother!” Paul stood but wavered. His hand trembled as he released Randy’s.

“What about Dad?”

“What about him?”
Paul huffed an exasperated breath. “Does he know?”
“Your father is in denial. Like father, like son. I think his recent efforts to marry you

off to Diane were part of his inability to face the truth. And he may never admit he
knows but he’ll learn to live with it.”

Almost falling, Paul landed in the chair Diane had vacated. “So when he made the

accusations…”

“Accusations?” His mother’s eyes narrowed. “What did he say?”
“About me losing an election because the voters thought I was a pansy-assed fairy.”
“Your father was out of line and I will speak to him about it. Once he’s well enough

to handle a scolding.” She glanced at the jewel-encrusted watch on her wrist. “Speaking
of which, I need to go back to the hospital. I only came to my room to freshen up.”

“Mom, what about Diane? I’m sure she’ll cause trouble.”
Mrs. Loughton shook her head. “She won’t. She understands what will happen.

Without money to keep her in society, she can’t afford to alienate me. She’ll get over it.”

Both men stood as she did. Randy pulled her chair out.
“I think you two have some things to discuss then I’ll expect to see you, Paul, at the

hospital.” Without waiting for an answer, Mrs. Loughton made a graceful exit.

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“Holy shit,” Paul whispered.
“I second that.”

* * * * *

Paul closed the door to his hotel room behind him then leaned against it. Randy

hadn’t said two words. Now he fell back on the bed, his legs hanging off, feet still on
the floor.

“Are you okay?” Paul asked.
“I don’t know. My mother has known all this time when I struggled to keep my

sexuality a secret. What did I do to give it away?”

“You? What about me?” Pushing away from the door, Paul strode over to the bed.

He lay down on his stomach with his head raised up to look at Randy. “I can’t believe I
used to call your name in my sleep.”

A wide grin split Randy’s mouth. “I kind of like that idea.”
“You would.” Paul brushed a kiss on Randy’s forehead. “So the secret is out. Both

of them.”

“Yeah.” A frown creased Randy’s skin under Paul’s lips. “So what do we do now?”
Paul lifted his head until his gaze met Randy’s. “I wait until my father is better then

I tell him I’m not running for office. State or otherwise. And that I’m moving to Little
Rock so they’ll need to appoint an interim mayor.”

“Moving, eh?” Randy slipped his arm around Paul’s waist. “Got a house in mind?”
“Yep, comes with some of the most interesting amenities.”
Paul let Randy pull him down into a kiss.
“Tell me some of the perks of this new house,” Randy whispered between gentle,

nibbling kisses.

“It has a great view. Especially in the bedroom. A very talented roommate.

Lover…partner.” Paul sighed. “Boyfriend.”

“Oh really.”
“Yes, and the most interesting toy box I’ve ever seen.”
Randy laughed against Paul’s neck. “You haven’t seen the half of it yet. I have other

surprises in store for you.”

“I can’t wait to explore them all.”
“But first,” Randy planted a quick kiss on Paul’s lips, “I need to talk to my mother.”
Nodding, Paul returned his kiss then rolled off him. “I guess I don’t need to go see

my father with beard burn. No sense in starting something now.”

Randy slid off the bed then to his feet. “I’ll call you later? Or you can call me.

Whichever.”

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“We can see who calls first.” He laid there as Randy left the room. His decisions

were easier than he thought. As soon as he returned home, he’d put a résumé together
and see what he could find in the way of work.

Once his dad was better, Paul would explain to him that he was a grown man and

had to live his own life without parental interference. In spite of a newfound
confidence, he wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

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Chapter Thirteen

Randy wove through rush-hour traffic. Speaking aloud, he had his phone system

called his direct line at the office.

“Mr. Martin’s office,” his assistant Sarah answered with a chipper voice.
“Mr. Martin speaking.” The joke was old but Randy couldn’t resist. “How’s it going

this morning?”

“Fine, except our boss is AWOL. Any idea when he plans to show up?”
Randy laughed. “Probably not today. Something’s come up.”
“I can only imagine what.” Her voice insinuated something more fun than a long

overdue talk with his mother.

“Not what you think. I can be reached by cell phone if it’s an emergency, otherwise,

don’t call.”

“Aye, aye, sir!”
Randy pictured her saluting the phone. “Thanks, Sarah. Later.” He disconnected

without giving her a chance to say more. He needed to think about what he was going
to say to his mother.

It didn’t matter that she already knew. His throat squeezed tight at the idea of

talking about his sexuality. After all, it was his mother. The whole idea of talking about
sex of any kind, gay or straight, was something he didn’t relish.

The short drive to her house wasn’t long enough to come up with a plan. He’d have

to wing it.

As he pulled into the driveway, he saw her watering flowers near the garage. She

turned to see who it was then set her garden hose down in the flowerbed.

By the time Randy parked, she had walked over to the driveway.
He climbed out of the car and automatically gave her a quick hug.
“Randy, what a pleasant surprise! Shouldn’t you be at work by now?” Her smile

faded. “Is something wrong?”

“I guess that depends on your definition of wrong.” A jolt of anger welled up from

nowhere. “Why didn’t you ever tell me you knew I was gay?” He winced as soon as the
words were out. Not exactly tactful.

She shrugged. “I figured you either knew I knew and didn’t want to talk about it, or

you’d get around to telling me eventually.”

Randy shook his head. “I can’t believe you didn’t say anything. I’ve regretted

keeping this secret for most of my life, but I never knew how you would react. I’d do

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anything to keep from hurting you, even go back in the closet, and now I find out you
knew all along.”

His mother’s smile returned and she reached up to pat his face. “I’m sorry. I would

have said something sooner if I’d known.” She hooked her arm in his and pulled him
toward the house. “Come in for some coffee and we’ll talk.”

The small house was neat as a pin inside and out. Randy had been willing to buy

her something larger, more modern, but she fell in love with this little cottage. She
claimed she didn’t need anything big, and the location, overlooking a small pond and
pastureland, suited her just fine.

“So why are we talking about it now?” She set a coffee carafe on the table then

turned to a cabinet. While she retrieved cups, she continued. “And how did you find
out I knew?”

“Mrs. Loughton told me.”
“Betty Loughton? Well, I’ll be…” His mom sat in the chair across the corner of the

table from Randy. “How is she doing?”

“She’s fine. The judge had bypass surgery yesterday up at the Heart Hospital.”
“Oh, I hope he’s doing okay.”
Randy nodded. “He’s fine. Came through the surgery and is in recovery.”
“I’m so glad. She’s so attached to the judge, I don’t know what she would do if

something happened to him.”

“Can we get back to me?”
Her nose and eyes crinkled with a grin. “Of course, Randy.”
“How did you know?”
“Well, a mother knows these things, but you never seemed interested in girls except

for Sue, but she always seemed like one of the boys. Which under the circumstances, I
counted my blessings. No one to distract you from your grades and getting into
college.”

“That can’t be the only reason.” Randy didn’t think his mother was psychic so she

had to have had more clues.

“The little sketches you did were a dead giveaway.”
A sick feeling in the pit of his stomach made Randy swallow hard. “Sketches?”
“The stylized lettering of the name Paul. Teenaged girls do that when they have a

crush on a boy. I decided it meant you had a crush on one too.”

“Oh God.” His memory flooded with a picture of what she meant. For the first part

of his senior year, he couldn’t get the image of Paul out of his head. Or out of his
dreams. He’d not only drawn his name over and over, he’d had many a wet dream
thinking about the vague, impossible things he wanted to do with the high school’s star
quarterback. He covered his face with his hands to hide his embarrassment.

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“I guess I finally put it all together your senior year. Then I sat back and prayed

you’d be careful.”

“Oh hell, you did more than pray.”
His mother giggled and slapped her hand over her mouth. “I forgot about that.”
She’d given him a lecture on sex and the use of condoms when he turned fifteen.

Randy never understood why she felt the need to follow up with a refresher course
when he was a senior. He chalked it up to a new sexually transmitted disease everyone
was talking about—AIDS.

Her laughter tickled Randy and several minutes of hysterical laughter made talking

impossible. One of the reasons he loved his mother so much was her ability to act like a
friend instead of a parent.

“So why did this whole topic of conversation come up with Betty Loughton?”
“She kind of caught me in Paul’s hotel room this morning.”
His mother’s eyes went wide. “Oh my!”
“We weren’t doing anything.” Randy ducked his head and pushed down the urge

to blush. “Actually, I was in the other bed. But my presence didn’t faze her at all. She
even remembered my name.”

“I don’t see why she wouldn’t. We talked often enough about the two of you.”
Randy shook his head. “Why would you talk with the high-society maven of

Prestonville about your son’s sexual preferences?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “We figured we’d end up in-laws of a sort. You had it

bad for Paul and he for you. If you’d both gotten past your hang-ups about your
sexuality, you might have been together all these years.”

“I can’t imagine—and I don’t want to know—how the topic first came up. Some

things are better left unknown.”

“So,” she glanced up at him from her coffee cup, “are you two together now?”
“Yeah.” Randy smiled. “Yeah, we are.”
His mother’s smile split her face. “I’m so glad to hear that. Finally I get a…son-in-

law.”

“Right, Momma. Like we can get married in Arkansas.”
“It’s the thought that counts.” Her hand covered his. “I want to see you settled with

someone…someone you can love and who’ll love you back. You’ve been in love with
Paul since high school—”

“Probably more like in lust…”
“But it’s different now?”
“Yeah, Momma. It’s different.”
“Good.”

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Shayla Kersten

* * * * *

Randy stared out his front windows at the long slope to the end of the property. He

wasn’t exactly willing Paul’s truck to show up, but then again, he wouldn’t be
disappointed if it did. It’d been three days since he’d seen Paul at the hospital. He
stayed away because Paul didn’t want anything upsetting his father. Not yet anyway.
Randy needed him to find a job soon so he could move in.

He clutched his cell phone and debated calling Paul. Not wanting to appear too

needy, he’d limited his calls as much as he could stand. The phone startled him when it
rang. Glancing at the unfamiliar number, he almost didn’t answer it. “Hello?”

“Hey, Randy.” Paul’s voice sent a thrill through him.
“Different number. I almost didn’t answer.”
Paul’s laugh was low and sexy. Or at least it was to Randy. “I used my real cell

phone this time. The other one is…out of service.”

“I’m glad.” Randy paced the length of the living room. “How’s your dad?” They’d

taken him home from the hospital yesterday.

“Great. The trip home didn’t bother him at all. The old bastard will probably

outlive us all.”

“That’s good to hear.” Randy wasn’t sure what to say. Once again the memory of

teenaged nervousness crawled up his spine.

“My mom ran me off with her blessing. She said I didn’t need to stick around. Her

exact words were, ‘There are plenty of people around to fawn over the judge’. She said
she’d call me if she needed anything.”

Randy’s nervous feeling morphed into something more adult. “Where are you?” He

turned to face the windows in time to see the big brown pickup pull through the shelter
of the trees and start up the long drive.

“Going to visit my boyfriend. He said he had some surprises in store for me. I

wanted to check them out.”

“Oh yeah. Sounds like a great idea.” Randy took the stairs to the garage two at a

time. Slamming his hand against the switch, the garage door lumbered up just in time
to allow Paul’s truck to slide in next to his car. He pressed the switch a second time and
the door began to roll down.

He snapped his phone shut as he ran around the front of his car and Paul’s truck.
Paul slid from the seat then wrapped his arms around Randy in a tight bear hug.

“You feel good.” Randy couldn’t answer because Paul’s tongue got in the way.

Instead of protesting, Randy fell into the hard kiss. His hands roamed up and down

Paul’s back, fingers tracing the hard muscles.

The reality of their changed situation hadn’t quite hit him yet. His mother knew,

Paul’s mother knew, and somehow they both approved. His mind wouldn’t wrap
around the idea after a lifetime of lies. But his body could certainly wrap around Paul’s.

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“Come on. Let’s go upstairs. I wasn’t expecting you so I didn’t bring the lube.”
“We definitely need lube. Lots of it.” Paul pushed Randy toward the door. “And we

need something else.” Paul hit him with a fast, hard kiss.

Randy almost stumbled as he walked backward. “A butt plug.”
“That too. But something else.”
“Hmmm…” Randy smiled. “A big fat dildo?”
“We haven’t tried that yet so it’s a possibility. But no.”
As Paul pushed him through the door to the stairs, Randy grabbed hold of the

doorframe. “How about a nice sling I can tie you up in and fuck you hard and fast.”

“Fuck.” Paul let go of Randy and grabbed his cock. “I’m not even sure what that is

but I’d say it’s a definite yes. However,” he leaned in close to Randy’s face, “I’m
thinking more along the lines of a phone. We have calls to make.” He held up the strip
of paper from the home HIV test with the coded number needed for the results. “Then
you can tie me up to anything you want and fuck my ass raw.”

“Shit.” It was Randy’s turned to calm down. With everything else this week, the

tests had slipped his mind. “Yeah, phone. Now.” He turned, ran up the stairs then into
the bedroom. He’d left his number in the bathroom. Rummaging through the medicine
cabinet he found the scrap of paper.

When he emerged into the bedroom, Paul was lying across his bed, still clothed

with his hand stroking the bulge in his jeans. The scrap of paper was next to the
bedroom phone.

“You call. I’m too nervous.”
“Funny, you don’t look nervous.” Randy sat on the bed next to the phone. He

punched the speakerphone button before he dialed the 800 number. The recorded voice
walked him through Paul’s information. Although Randy was sure Paul would be
clean, a sigh of relief still escaped when the mechanical voice made it official.

He hit the speaker button again to disconnect then once more to open the line. He

hit redial on the phone and waited for the voice to answer. This time, he punched in his
information and waited.

“Your test result is negative.”
Before Randy could hang up the phone, Paul grabbed him from behind and

flattened him to the bed.

“Now you can bring out any toy you want as long as sometime tonight, your bare

cock finds its way into my ass.”

“Oh God, keep talking like that and I won’t last long enough to fuck you.”
Paul grinned and dove in for a kiss. “Then maybe I’ll fuck you.”
“Shit!” Randy hadn’t had someone inside him bare in over twenty years but he still

remembered the difference. “That can be arranged.”

“So where do we start?”

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Randy was so close to coming he wasn’t sure he could do much of anything. The

phone saved him when it started a loud repeating beep to indicate it was off the hook.
He rolled Paul off him and slammed his hand on the speaker button.

“How about we start with a shower?”
“Oh yeah, wet shower sex.” Paul nuzzled his ear.
“No, separate showers. I had one when I got home, but I have a few surprises up

my sleeve and I need a little preparation time.”

“Interesting…” Paul nipped Randy’s earlobe. “I’m off to the shower then. You’d

better hurry though, because I can take a fast shower.”

“Don’t need much time.” Just long enough to calm down and check the basement

one last time.

Paul leaned in for a kiss before he headed for the master bathroom.
With a sigh, Randy watched him go. Wet shower sex did sound good but later…
He jumped up from the bed, grabbed the blue plastic box of toys from the closet

then ran toward the stairs to the basement. The split-level house had a second level that
was only about two-thirds as wide as the upper floor. The garage was at one end but
the other had a room the previous owners used as a game room. They probably never
heard of the games Randy planned to play.

He’d set up the sling with its freestanding frame two days ago. Checking the canvas

for rips or tears and any sign of dry rot, he’d bounced on it several times once he set it
up to ensure its safety.

With no idea of when he’d be able to use the sling or the basement, he’d wanted it

ready just in case. He’d set up a dozen or so candles, stocked the bar refrigerator with
water and brought down some blankets for the couch he’d stored down here. He lit the
candles and dimmed the lights.

When he’d looked at the house, his mind had wandered to all the naughty things he

could do in this room, but he had pushed the ideas aside. He hadn’t planned to meet
anyone, much less someone he could trust to share his kinks.

He’d fix it up some more later on, but for now, he had enough for what he wanted

tonight.

And tonight he wanted Paul in the sling and his naked cock up his lover’s ass.

“Damn.” He needed to get it under control.

“Randy?” Paul’s voice called from above.
He wasn’t sure if he’d closed the door behind him.
“Are you down there?”
Guess not. Randy glanced around the room. Candles lit, toys on a table near the

sling, lube, but not a condom in sight. “Yeah, come on down.”

Paul’s bare feet showed on the circular stairway. “What’s down here?” Randy’s

dark blue silk robe came into view next.

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Randy squirmed at Paul’s choice of attire. The silk would feel so good against his

skin.

“I didn’t even realize there was a…” His voice trailed off when he descended far

enough to see the room. “Wow. Was this here all along?” He turned in a circle to check
out the room. His gaze darted back to the sling several times.

“No. I had some of the stuff but it was all in boxes.” Randy moved up behind Paul

and wrapped his arms around him. “If you don’t want to do anything, just tell me. We
don’t have to.”

Paul shook his head but didn’t speak.
“That’s the sling I mentioned. As you can probably guess, the loops up on the

chains are for your feet. It wraps around the ankles. There’re loops for the wrists but
you don’t have to use them.”

“Want to.” Paul’s voice cracked. He cleared his throat. “Want to use them.” He

twisted around in Randy’s arms. “Want to use them all so much it scares me. I had no
idea I was so…kinky.”

Randy grinned against Paul’s neck. “I didn’t know it about me until someone

showed me the first time. And I would never have shown you this except you were so
turned-on when I talked about tying you up.” Kissing a trail up Paul’s neck to his
mouth, he flicked his tongue across his lips. “And then when I did tie you up… You
were so damned hot and so turned-on. I wanted to share this with you.”

Paul bumped his hips into Randy’s. His cock poked Randy in the groin. “So start

sharing before I come all over your jeans.”

“Yeah… Come on.”

Paul let Randy lead him to the sling. He’d have to be stupid not to realize the

mechanics of the device. Simple design but it looked to be very effective.

“Hop up here.” Randy tapped a stool under the sling Paul hadn’t noticed.
He started to remove the robe but Randy stopped him.
“Leave it on, just open it.” The hunger in Randy’s eyes was incredible.
All of the lust and desire was for him—Paul Loughton. A man who wanted another

man’s cock up his ass, or in his mouth, or just rubbing against him. A gay man. With a
lover.

He stepped up on the stool then eased back onto the swinging material. “This is

safe?” Seemed shaky but then maybe it was him shaking.

“Yeah, I checked carefully then bounced around on it to make sure it wouldn’t

give.”

“Oh, I’d like to have seen that.”
Randy grabbed the chains hanging from the frame and leaned in for a kiss. “You

can if you want. My kink goes both ways. I like to be restrained once in a while.”

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“But you like it more this way. With me tied, bound, my ass yours for the taking.”
A flush covered Randy’s face. “Yes. I like it very much.”
“So do I. Which surprises me to no end. But I still may take you up on the role

reversal. After I get enough of your cock in my ass.”

“I hope that’s never.” Randy slipped his arms around Paul and pressed a gentle kiss

on his lips. “I want you around for a long time.”

“I want that too.” Still gentle, Randy pressed his tongue against Paul’s mouth.

Opening with enthusiasm, he let Randy explore his mouth while his lover’s hands
stroked his back through the soft silk.

Randy eased back on the kiss until it ended with soft nibbles. With his forehead

pressed against Paul’s, Randy whispered, “I love you.”

Paul nearly choked with emotion. He’d spent his life looking for someone he could

believe when they said those words. If only he’d admitted he’d been looking at the
wrong gender when he was in high school, maybe he could have been celebrating a
twentieth anniversary in addition to a twenty-year reunion. “I love you too.” He caught
Randy’s head with both hands and pulled his mouth against his. “I think I always
have.”

“Likewise.” Randy’s kisses were sweet, gentle and loving.
But Paul wanted something different and he needed it now. “Are you going to fuck

me or are we going to play kissy face all night?”

Randy sputtered laughter in Paul’s face. “I’m going to fuck you all right. Probably

all night. I’ll have you screaming for mercy before I’m done with you.”

“All talk, no action.” Paul scooted back on the sling and lay down. “Show me what

you can do.”

The evil leer on Randy’s face warned Paul he was in for an amazing night. “You got

it, babe.”

“Babe? Do I look like a pig?”
“No, but you’ll be squealing like one soon enough.” Randy grabbed Paul’s dick and

squeezed.

Before Paul could find any satisfaction from his grip, Randy’s hands slid away and

down Paul’s legs. Lifting one, Randy kissed the inside of Paul’s knee. A shiver started
where his lips touched and shot through Paul’s body as a hard shudder.

Randy bent his leg and slipped his foot through a leather loop. His hands ran down

his calf and back up again. Holding Paul’s ankle, Randy planted a kiss on his instep.

The soft touch created goose bumps up and down Paul’s leg. “Oh shit…”
Repeating the same motions with Paul’s other leg, he slipped the restraint around

Paul’s ankle.

Slipping his hands under Paul’s ass, Randy tugged him forward. Paul helped by

putting his weight on his ankles and wiggling down. His ass hung off the edge. The

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Past Lies

vulnerability of his position pushed his arousal into a deep ache. “I think I’m going to
like this thing.”

Randy grinned as his finger circled Paul’s anus. “Yeah, I think you will.” Leaning

over, he started at Paul’s balls and licked a line to the tip of his cock. “I know I’m going
to like it.”

Groaning, Paul arched up, chasing Randy’s tongue.
Randy laughed and walked around the frame until he was beside Paul. “You want

your hands restrained too?” His fingers ran a wavy line across Paul’s chest.

“Yes.” Paul licked his lips. His mouth was dry with anticipation.
Randy’s hand continued up to Paul’s shoulder then down his arm. Grasping his

wrist, he lifted Paul’s hand to his mouth. Sucking his index finger inside his mouth, his
warm, soft tongue twirled around, teasing. He pulled it out with a pop then reached for
a leather cuff hooked to the chain.

Unlike the nylon and Velcro cuffs from before, these cuffs were leather and had a

metal buckle like a belt. With Paul’s wrist wrapped in the soft leather, Randy buckled
the cuff closed.

“Too tight?” Randy asked.
Paul shook his head. He didn’t trust his voice to work. His body was primed for the

slightest touch.

Leaning down, Randy brushed his lips against Paul’s but pulled away before Paul

could deepen it. His grin was almost evil as he licked one nipple.

The touch was electric and must have short-circuited Paul’s speech functions. He

managed a moan and a stuttered “Y-Yes…” With his free hand, he reached for Randy
but his lover escaped before he could catch him.

Randy circled to the other side. “You look so hot like this. I could eat you up.” He

grabbed Paul’s cock and gave it a quick stroke. “And maybe I will.”

“God!” Paul arched into Randy’s hand but then it was gone. “Killing me…” He

grabbed for Randy and managed to snag his shirt. “Kiss me.”

Laughing, Randy leaned down and brushed his lips. “Any time.”
Paul wrapped his free arm around Randy’s neck and held him close. “Then do it

right.” His teeth nipped at Randy’s lower lip, tugging his mouth open.

Relief spread through Paul. Not enough, but the teasing had created an incredible

hunger for Randy’s touch, for his body against him. The deep-tonguing kiss made a
much-needed connection.

At the same time, the ache in Paul’s balls and cock intensified. His confused body

needed more contact. When Randy pulled away from his mouth, Paul whispered,
“Fuck me.” His hand caressed the back of Randy’s neck.

“Soon.” Randy pulled Paul’s hand free, kissed his palm then wrapped his wrist in

the restraint. “Very soon. I’m not sure I can stand to wait much more.”

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Shayla Kersten

Paul nodded but kept silent. He knew his words turned Randy on. If he wanted a

satisfactory finale, he might want to watch what he said.

Randy circled back around Paul the long way until he stopped, framed between

Paul’s thighs. Almost in slow motion, his hands rubbed a light touch over Paul’s inner
thighs until his hands framed Paul’s cock. His thumbs kneaded his balls for a few
seconds before one hand wrapped around Paul’s aching flesh.

A stifled groan snuck out as Paul clutched at the chains attached to his wrist

restraints. Rolling his eyes closed, he sank into Randy’s touch.

Warm skin, a little rough, the hand of a man. Long, slow strokes, first ending with a

thumb rolled over the top then a palm.

“Oh shit.” Warm, wet softness surrounded the head of his cock. He squeezed his

eyes tight to keep them shut. The sensation of Randy’s hands, his mouth, not knowing
where his lover would strike again, was a turn-on all by itself. Maybe he’d ask Randy
for a blindfold next time.

The thought shot a jolt of pleasure through him. Randy’s hand tight on the base of

his cock kept him from shooting right then. The chains bit into his palms as he clenched
around the hard links. “Randy…” The strangled cry slipped past his determination to
stay silent.

A wet finger circled his anus.
Flexing his legs, he pushed toward the possibility of relief but the blunt tip

disappeared and Randy’s mouth released his cock. “No…”

“Patience.” The hoarse whisper reassured Paul that Randy was having similar

difficulties maintaining control.

The knowledge that his intense need was shared made the wait easier to bear.
He jerked when warm, wet flesh slid down his cock to his balls. Soft lips nibbled at

his scrotum before Randy sucked one ball into his mouth. The heat was almost
unbearable but the prodding tongue was too much. Still the loss of his mouth when
Randy moved away was frustrating.

Once again, a wet finger teased his ass.
Paul’s eyes flew open. This finger was too soft, too flexible. “Oh fuck!”
Randy’s fingers dug into the flesh of his ass, parting his cheeks. A swipe of his

tongue sent Paul’s mind reeling with shock and desire. His cock bobbed on his stomach
leaving drops of pre-come on his skin. Thin strands hung from the tip to his stomach
like the silk of spider web. He watched another drop gather with the top of Randy’s
head bobbing behind his dick.

And the feel of Randy’s tongue prodding his ass.
Paul was beyond need and bordering on pain. It wouldn’t take much to bring him

off, a few quick strokes. Rattling the sling, he pulled against his restraints. “Randy…”
Paul’s determination to avoid speaking—avoid begging—disappeared when Randy
started licking his ass. “I’m hurting…”

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The soft, tormenting heat vanished. Randy stood, framed by Paul’s legs. “Hurting?”
“My cock…too much.”
“Okay,” Randy whispered. His hands ran up Paul’s stomach to his chest. “I’ll take

care of you.” He leaned over and kissed him, hard and fast.

His jeans scratched against Paul’s cock. Arching into the rough material, Paul

groaned at the relief of contact.

“Hang on just another minute.” Randy eased away from him.
“No…” He lifted his body by using his restraints for leverage.
“Soon, love, soon.”
Paul wanted to scream, shout, curse his lover, but Randy’s words had a mellowing

effect on him. Love, he said.

Randy reached for the lube. Coating his fingers, he pushed at Paul’s anus.
Relaxing some with the knowledge that release was close, Paul pushed into the

pressure. His body swallowed Randy’s finger with ease. “More.”

A second finger pressed in. Paul angled his hips, trying to force Randy’s fingers into

his prostate. He’d come before from the intense pressure alone.

“Not yet.” Randy pushed in with a third finger. “Soon. You’ll come shooting like

the Fourth of July. But when you do, I want my mouth around your cock.”

“Fuck!”
Randy reached for a realistic flesh-colored dildo lying on the table. The detail was

remarkable down to the thick vein running along the underside.

Clenching his ass, Paul needed something filling him. The dildo wasn’t Randy, but

Paul was desperate.

With his gaze locked with Paul’s, Randy coated the dildo with lube. “As soon as I

push this up your ass, I plan to suck you until you fill my mouth.”

“Oh yeah…” Paul’s heart raced. Each beat throbbed in his cock.
Randy pressed the dildo against Paul’s balls. The cold lube did nothing to ease his

aching need.

“Do it.” Paul lifted his hips. “Do it now.”
The slick, blunt tip slid down to his anus. “Now?”
“God, yes…”
Randy pushed and the tip slid in. He twisted the dildo around several times then in

and out just a fraction.

“More, damn it.” Paul glared at his grinning lover and yanked at his bonds. “You’d

better hope I never get you in this contraption.”

“I can’t wait. You don’t understand, but you will.” With a long, slow stroke, Randy

slid the dildo deep inside him.

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Shayla Kersten

The fake flesh rubbed against his prostate but not with enough stimulation to push

him over the edge. His eyes rolled back and he pushed into the fullness.

“You like that?”
“I need more.” The sling swung with his struggles. The motion pressed the dildo

deeper but didn’t set a satisfying rhythm.

“More is on the way.” His hand pumped the fake cock in and out of Paul’s ass,

slow, long strokes, deep into his ass.

When Randy’s lips surrounded the tip of his cock, Paul would have jumped off the

sling if he could have. Warm, wet heat with hard sucking pressure and just a little grate
of teeth was almost enough. Just a little more…

Randy began blowing him in earnest. Long, deep strokes matched the motion of the

dildo in his ass.

“God, yes!” Paul clenched his fists around the chains. His body jerked with

impending relief. A last deep swallow and Randy’s throat tightened around the tip of
his cock. A twist of the dildo and intense pressure racked his prostate. “Fuck!”

The long buildup ended with a pleasure so intense it almost qualified as pain. His

cock pulsed with each stream of come shooting down Randy’s throat. His sweat-slick
hands twisted on the chain. The ecstasy went on for an eternity. And then abruptly it
was gone.

The missing dildo left a deep void. His cock, covered in spit and come, chilled in the

air-conditioning.

Randy, still dressed, pulled his shirt up and fumbled with his button and zipper.

Pulling his erection free, he grabbed the lube and poured it directly on his cock. “I’m
about to explode,” he growled.

Then the void was filled again. Randy’s cock slid deep without resistance. The silky

feel of his bare flesh was so different from the dildo or Randy’s latex-covered dick.

“Damn, you’re so hot.” Randy wrapped his arms around Paul’s legs and pumped

into him hard. “Feels so good, just me inside you.”

“Yes…” Paul grunted with each deep stroke. “Fuck me…fuck me…” His chant

grew louder as Randy’s movement became more frantic.

“Damn!” Randy’s body slammed into him hard.
A warmth filled Paul’s ass. A new slickness eased the slight friction from Randy’s

ramming blows. Paul closed his eyes and memorized the feeling of his lover’s semen
inside him. The feeling of intimacy was incredible and soul shaking.

Finally, Paul found what he had been looking for all these years. Too bad he hadn’t

realized it had been in front of him so long ago. Instead of mourning for the lost years,
Paul planned to make up for them and looked forward to the next twenty with Randy.

His lover’s sweat-slick body leaned forward. Hungry kisses distracted Paul while

Randy’s fingers fumbled with first one and then the other cuff.

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His arms now free, he wrapped them tight around Randy and buried his face in his

lover’s neck. “I love you.”

“Love…you…too.” Randy’s pants teased Paul’s skin.
With a sigh, Paul melted into the warmth of Randy’s body. Past the lies—to himself

and to his family—keeping his life in stasis, his search for himself was over.

127

About the Author

By day, Shayla Kersten is a mild-mannered accountant. By night, she’s a writer of

sexy romances. Torn between genres, Shayla writes erotic stories about hot heroes and
their sexy women as well as hot men and their passionate heroes.

A native of Arkansas, Shayla spent four years in the Army as a missile specialist,

stationed in Germany and Oklahoma. After her enlistment was up, she spent eleven
years in New York City taking a bite out of the Big Apple. Even her love of theatre and
the nightlife of the big city couldn’t cure terminal homesickness for the Natural State. In
1995 she returned to her roots in Arkansas.

Shayla now divides her time between her mother, her spoiled-rotten dogs, her

dratted day job and her obsession—writing. And no, her mother doesn’t know what she
writes. That’s between Shayla, her dogs and her readers!

Shayla welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email

address on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.

Tell Us What You Think

We appreciate hearing reader opinions about our books. You can email us at

[e-mail].

Also by Shayla Kersten

Gaps in Your Soul
Hidden Force
The Cost of Eternity
The Rememdiu

Discover for yourself why readers can’t get enough of the multiple award-winning

publisher Ellora’s Cave. Whether you prefer e-books or paperbacks, be sure to visit EC
on the web at www.ellorascave.com for an erotic reading experience that will leave you
breathless.

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