When Cali Morgan kicks off her perfect post-college summer in
Lake Tahoe, she has everything she ever wanted: acceptance into a
top law program, a gorgeous boyfriend, and an incredible summer
planned with her best friend.
Confident about her place in the world, Cali makes it her mission
to be her friend's wingwoman and help her meet guys. What Cali
doesn't count on is running into Jaeger Lang, one of her older
brother's high school friends, or the sparks that fly when she's
around him.
Jaeger has changed, and it's not just the added height and muscle.
There's something about him that's deep and a little scarred. In
spite of the changes, Jaeger becomes a top pick for her friend—if
Cali can keep her hands off him.
But when Cali's boyfriend dumps her and her carefully laid plans
begin to unravel, she finds herself questioning what it is she truly
desires. In the midst of doubts about her future, one thing is very
clear: she wants Jaeger for her own. The question is, has her friend
already fallen for him? And will Jaeger's past come back to haunt
them both?


Deep Blue
by
Jules Barnard

Chapter One
My legs quiver like Jell-O as I clamber over the last boulder on the east
side of Eagle Lake. Eric reaches for me, his sandy blond hair slicked
back at the roots with sweat. This should gross me out, but for some
reason he looks really hot, all sweaty and disheveled. He's not wearing
his shirt, and the close proximity to his muscled chest and golden skin
ignites dirty thoughts of sneaking off behind a boulder and having my
way with him.
My gaze rakes his ripped abs. Long cargo shorts hang low on his hips,
providing a perfect view of the vee of muscles between his hipbones.
He squeezes my hand and I glance up. His mouth twists. "Naughty."
I grin. Later, I will investigate those muscles with my tongue.
Speaking of later, we'll be up here all day if Gen doesn't hurry. What is
taking her so long? It's our first hike since we arrived in Lake Tahoe a
few days ago, but I thought she'd be in better shape than this. She' s a
runner, and wearing track shoes, while I have on the requisite sturdy
hiking boots owned by every kid who grew up in Lake Tahoe. I should
cut her some slack, but her reactions are too hilarious when I don't.
I peek around the boulder. She's just now cresting the stones before the
lake.
"Light a fire under it, Gen," I call.
She glances up and swipes her forehead, her chest rising and falling
with each deep gulp of air. Her lips pinch and I think her nostrils flare.
She crosses her arms and glares at me. I smile back.
Instead of moving toward me, Gen drops her arms to her sides and
takes an unsteady step in the direction of the water. She crouches
among the large rocks and I can't see her anymore. A stone flies from
her direction into the lake, sending out tiny waves. I guess she's taking
a

break.
This could be a while. I turn and meander toward Eric, who's now
several feet ahead. The idyllic, small alpine lake provides a perfect
backdrop for his masculine beauty. I stop for a moment, taking in the
picture, and consider my plan.
My summer goal is to immerse Gen in Lake Tahoe and lift her spirits,
hopefully in the form of a cute summer fling. Gen just
discovered—brutally, embarrassingly—that the guy she dated during
our last year of college had a girlfriend back home. The bastard showed
up with the other girl at the local bar during our last week of school.
What a douche bag.
Gen didn't cry or drunk-dial him like any self-respecting
twenty-one-year-old would; she went quiet, which is worse. He totally
broke her heart, and I worry he broke her trust in men along with it.
The only positive is that she never has to see the A-hole again. We're
done with college, and thanks to my badassery, I've secured us jobs at a
casino for the summer before we head to grad school.
Grad school. Why does the thought make my stomach dip and weave
like a prizefighter?
I squeeze my middle and take a deep breath. Tahoe is the perfect place
to get Gen' s mind off the A-hole and spend quality time together
before we go our separate ways in the fall.
Eric stops at a swath of gravel ahead and yanks off his backpack. He
lays out towels and I make my way over. I sit and pull up my knees
below my chin, arms wrapped around my shins. I stare at the lake
without seeing it, my mind trapped in the future.
Several minutes pass and there's still no sign of Gen. Is she really that
tired from the hike?
I glance over my shoulder, but I can't see her and the water where she
crouched is like glass. My pulse flutters. It's been too long. Rocking
forward, I push to my feet. "Gen!"
She stands several yards away and raises her hand, ambling toward me
like she's on a Sunday drive.
I slump back to my spot and Eric steps beside me, his tall figure casting
a shadow. "Serves you right for teasing her." The sound of

crunching comes from above and crumbs rain down into my lap.
I flick off a few with my thumb and forefinger. "Tarzan, you want to
take your chow somewhere else?"
"Oh, sorry," he mumbles, granola sticking to his lips.
I shake my head and smile. "So, I forgot to mention, my work schedule
at the casino will be Tuesday through Saturday."
We' ve only been here a few days, but Gen and I start work next week
and Eric has driven up for a short visit. I have to say I'm mildly nervous
about the counting element of my job as a dealer, which makes me
sound mentally challenged. I'm not—I just seriously suck at math. I can
write a ten-page essay on the women's movement post industrialization
in under an hour, dissect a frog, or explain Keynesian economics, but
ask me to add numbers together and my brain blows a fuse. I tend to
overprocess the simple concepts.
The sound of mastication has ceased, the only sign that Eric heard me.
He's moved a few feet away, his back to me, staring out at the water. He
hasn't said anything.
"Saturdays will be good tip nights," I add, "but it stinks that my
schedule will cut into our weekends together." Weekdays were too
busy with classes and Eric's fraternity obligations back at school, but
we hung out every weekend.
He turns, unloads drinks from his backpack, and takes off his shoes. He
stretches his arms above his head with a lazy yawn.
"That won't be a problem, will it?" I persist. "You don't have classes
Friday through Monday. You can still visit on the weekends if you
want."
Though we're the same age, Eric has been a bit of a slacker. He's taking
summer classes so he can officially graduate.
He shrugs, eyeing the small rocks below us. He picks up a smooth, flat
one and flicks it with his wrist out at the water. The stone skips across
the surface in several beats before sinking. "Work as much as you like.
You want to save money for your fancy grad school. I'll be busy with
classes."
Okay-y-y. This is the first rancor I've detected from him about my
post-college plans. My graduate school goals never elicited his

enthusiasm, but he also never put them down. We haven't discussed it,
but I figured we'd do the long-distance thing while I'm away.
Suddenly, the rift between us these last couple of weeks, and the sexual
dry spell I'd attributed to end-of-school-year stress, take on new
meaning.
I don't do passive, so I ask, "You think you'll be able to make it up next
weekend?"
Eric rummages around in his backpack. "Probably not." He raises his
head and waves to Gen, who finally nears. He seems relieved to see
her. "I've been assigned my first project. I'm meeting with study
partners next weekend, and then there's a party with the guys."
We' ve been together for two years and have never been attached at the
hip, but the way Eric's avoiding my eyes and the tension I sense from
him sends a bad signal, like there's something he's not telling me.
Gen drops her backpack on my towel with a thud, her face red, her
mouth turned down.
I mentally pause from overanalyzing Eric to consider her. Was she
thinking about the A-hole? Is that what took her so long and why she
looks like someone has stolen her puppy? I lift my chin, brows drawn
together, questioning. She shakes her head, but the troubled look on her
face remains.
Eric sits beside me and rubs my shoulders a little too roughly. My
muscles tense. "Going for a quick dip—anyone want to join me?" He
looks from me to Gen.
"Too cold," I blurt, absently.
"Didn't bring my bathing suit," Gen says without looking. She picks up
a handful of gravel and pours it slowly onto the ground.
Eric leans over my shoulder and grins lewdly. "Feel free to go in the
buff, Gen. I don't mind."
I elbow him in the ribs. Ass. Can't he see something's bothering
her?
Eric laughs and jumps up. He strides to the water's edge.
His stupid comment has one positive effect. He's wiped the depressed
look from Gen's face. She shakes her head as he walks away. "Do your
hormones ever cease firing?" she says.

"Never," he shouts over his shoulder. He jogs the last few feet to the
water, his form tight and athletic, before he dives in. The water is cold
enough to shrivel his balls into tiny grapes, but he seems unfazed,
skimming the lake in smooth strokes toward a giant boulder in the
center.
Gen and I sit in silence as Eric climbs atop the rock like he's Columbus
discovering the new world.
She drops the gravel and brushes off her hand on her shorts. "How are
things with him?" Leaning forward, she balances her arms on her knees
in a pose similar to mine, and stares at her feet.
First, the thing she's not mentioning that's bothering her, and now the
random question about Eric?
She fumbles with the edge of my towel. "You ever worry about him?
With—I don't know—other girls?" She holds up a hand, her gaze
flashing to me. "He was joking earlier—about the naked swimming
thing. But ..."
Seriously, where is this coming from? I don't like the look on her face.
Worried. Sad. She must be projecting. She's had a shitty time of it, and
now she thinks all guys are alike.
"We're good, Gen."
She lets out a slow breath. "Cool." She smiles her warm smile and my
stomach sinks.
Shit. Are Eric and I fine?
Things didn't feel fine a moment ago. I've never worried about him, but
I've been busy. Now that school has ended ... have things changed?
No, they're still great. I'm overreacting. We'll spend time together at the
lake and get back on track.
I notice a crease between Gen's brows. I can't take that look. "What
about you? Ready to start dating?"
She digs her heels into the gravel. "Sure. If a good guy comes along."
Gen's said this before, but she seems uncertain. It's been a month since
she got her heart crushed. Not long enough to heal, but we've talked
about this. Sometimes getting back out there is the only way to

pull out of a slump.
Eric splashes toward us from the water, droplets running down his
toned pecs and abs. I will never tire of the sight. I smile at him and he
grins back.
Eric and I are good. Of course we're good. Gen will be good too. As
soon as I find her a nice guy.
She's smart, beautiful, and funny as hell, though she doesn't know it,
which makes her even more hilarious. I'm lucky to have a solid
boyfriend, and I want that for her.
With the extra seasonal help at the casino this summer, there should be
at least a few decent prospects. If not, we'll scout the local hotspots.
Most of my friends from home are either still in college or have found
jobs in the city, but the populace of a vacation town is ever-changing.
Lots of dating possibilities. I'll find someone for her, or at least distract
her from the slump she's in and show her a good time.
Lake Tahoe is all about the high. How can I fail?

Chapter Two
Gen and I approach the seamstress counter in the Blue Casino
basement, the hub of lower employee relations. The managers' offices
are located above the casino floor, where bosses peer at everyone
through stealthy security cameras. Blue stockpiles its uniforms in the
basement and allocates them to the minions at the beginning of every
work shift. To remove a uniform from the premises is considered
stealing. I don't get management's proprietary clamp on polyester, but I'
m happy to let them do my laundry for me.
I hand the attendant my claim check and she passes me a pair of black
slacks and a white button-down shirt. Boring, but I'll make it work with
a few buttons open at the top. Gen hands in her claim check next, and I
step away, searching for our lockers. After a long moment, I glance
back. She's still in front of the counter, staring at what I'm guessing is
her uniform. Her back's to me, so I walk up and look over her shoulder.
"Don't say anything. Anything, Cali!"
Oh, God. This is perfect. I couldn't have set things up better.
Now I remember why I chose the dealer position. I'm an absolute wuss
when it comes to the cold—I used to dress like an Eskimo during Tahoe
winters. Having grown up around the casinos, I know a thing or two
about the air conditioning and the cocktail uniforms. I didn't want to
freeze my nipples off every day.
I cover my smile with my hand. "It's pretty," I mumble through my
fingers.
The look she gives me ... appalled, peeved. She's seriously pissed. I
don' t know why, but seeing her like this always makes me want to
laugh. It's like watching an angry kitten or a furious fluffy bunny. It's so
out of character.
I squeeze my lips together and bend over, holding in a snicker.
Gen leans down, her mouth to my ear. "You. Suck. You did this on
purpose! "
I straighten. "How could I do this on purpose? You picked your job
position."

Aside from the freeze-your-nipples-off factor, I wouldn't have minded
the cocktail uniform. I hadn't warned Gen, because I didn't think it was
a big deal. She needs to loosen up, and I couldn't have arranged a more
perfect outfit to attract guys to my reserved best friend.
Gen's hands shake as she crushes the small piece of black, shiny fabric
in the shape of hot pants and the blue-and-black-sequined bustier to her
chest. She stomps away.
"Good luck tonight," I call out, a smile in my voice.
Without looking back, she holds her hand above her head and flips me
off.
I laugh out loud.
We' ve worked all week and tonight is my first actual night on the
casino floor at one of the blackjack tables. I've been trapped in
conference rooms, learning how to deal cards. So far, I haven't botched
my addition, and my riffle shuffle rocks.
The customer in front of me swigs his diluted complimentary drink.
He's in a red floral Hawaiian shirt that stretches over a massive beer
belly. I' m ignoring the coarse black hair poking through the gaps
between his buttons so I won't be forced to gouge my eyes out later. He
picks up all but one chip—my tip, bless him—and walks away, and as
he does, Gen signals to me from her elevated perch in the Blue open
lounge.
I'm not supposed to chat with anyone but my customers. I glance at the
pit boss. He's handing out complimentary drink tokens and what
appears to be a coupon for a free night's stay to a woman with a blond
bob haircut and a designer bag slung over her shoulder. The pyramid of
chips in front of her is worth about twenty grand, and while my pit boss
distracts her with a room comp, a new dealer replaces the old.
Pit bosses switch dealers when a customer gets too lucky. I have no
idea why, but somehow that can break a winning streak.
Sneaky casino bastards.
The pit boss is busy orchestrating the woman's downfall, and I have no
customers for the moment. I wave Gen over. Her job is more social and
fluid. As long as she slings drinks, she can talk to anyone,

though she does have to be careful about approaching tables outside of
her section, even if it's just to gossip with a friend. Higher-stakes
gaming goes to the veteran waitresses who've been around five years or
more, and those bitches are territorial as hell. And catty. As far as I can
tell, they've hazed Gen for no other reason than that she's young and
beautiful.
Gen skips the three steps down from the lounge and crosses the wide
lane separating us. Every guy she passes rakes his gaze over her, or
does a sly double take. Her nearly black hair, hazel eyes, and pale skin
are a striking combination. With my strawberry-blond mop, we're like
a giant checkerboard walking down the street.
Poor Gen. The universe put a reserved female in the body of a
knockout. Her pretty oval face and five-foot-ten, slender figure in the
skimpy cocktail uniform make her the focus of attention at the casino
and she hates it. Even now, she's avoiding eye contact and
speed-walking to my table. We'll have to work on that. Guys tend to
think you're not interested if you don't look at them.
She plops her round serving tray on the armrest of my blackjack table,
eyes flittering to the side as if she's nervous.
The casino floor is obnoxiously loud, with whistles chiming and bells
blaring. I've gotten used to elevating my voice just enough to hold a
conversation without announcing myself to the room. "What's up?"
"Don't look now," she says through stiff lips, "but the bartender at the
East Bar invited us to drinks with him and his friends tonight."
I stretch my neck like a flamingo and search him out.
"I said, don't look!"
"Why not?"
"Because he might think I like him."
"Do you?" I glance at the guy again and waggle my brows. Medium
brown hair, a dimple that flashes whenever he smiles at his female
customers—I couldn't have picked a better prospect. "He's cute,
Gen."
She fumbles with her cash caddy. "I don't know Mason that well, but he
seems nice ..." Her mouth twists and then softens. "It'd be good to make
new friends."

I nod soberly. "I support this endeavor." Project Gen Hook-up moving
ahead of schedule!
A few hours later, Gen and I pass through the sliding doors at Harrah' s
and the air conditioning suctions me inside, my ears popping from the
pressure.
"Wow," Gen says, eyeing a nearby cocktail waitress serving a slots
customer. "It's a good thing you had a contact at Blue and not one at
Harrah' s, or my ass cheeks would be on display beneath Cherokee
nylons."
"You're welcome," I say. She's been bitching all week about her
uniform.
She responds with a meek smile.
We walk to the center of the casino and Gen points out Bartender
Mason in the lounge. He's swapped the white and black casino uniform
for a pair of jeans and a dark button-down. Broad shoulders fill out the
shirt to hot-guy perfection. I nudge her in the ribs a couple of times,
signaling my approval.
She swats my elbow and glares. If we weren't close to her new friend,
she'd tell me I'm behaving like a twelve-year-old, which is why I do it
now, when I can get away with it.
Mason stands, a wide smile spreading across his face as he glances at
me and takes a leisurely look at Gen in her short denim skirt, T-shirt,
and sandals. Neither of us anticipated going out after work when we
dressed this morning, so we're both on the casual side, only I'm in
skinny jeans and a tank top. A couple of guys sit at Mason's table, along
with a girl.
"This is Adam—" He gestures to a dark-haired pretty boy with pressed
dress sleeves evenly rolled to his elbows.
Adam smiles and does a not-so-sly perusal of our bodies, lingering on
my chest. I'd like to say it's because I have a large rack, but really, it's
because I displayed my boobs nicely.
"—and Jaeger."
Jaeger? As in Mick Jagger, but with a long a? That name sounds
familiar, but I don't recognize the guy.
Jaeger is a head taller than Adam, wearing a casual T-shirt and

worn blue jeans, and his arms are as long as a basketball player's. His
light brown hair is cut close to his head, and though there's something
familiar about his face, I can't place him. He's cute, though, with a
strong jawline and symmetrical features that are too classically
handsome to lump him in with the meatheads; his brows don't protrude
enough. He's more genetically big than steroid-inflated.
Jaeger gives Gen a cursory glance, then looks at me. His gaze falters,
remains a second too long, eyes gleaming down my body and back to
my face. He half nods in acknowledgement and returns his attention to
his friends.
He hesitated when he looked at me. A sign I'm right about us knowing
each other? I can't tell for sure, nor can I ask him about it, because
Adam is talking to him.
I study Jaeger some more and my gaze catches on full lips, trailing
down to a very broad chest, muscled shoulders and arms, and—large
hands. The guy has strong, well-formed hands. A shiver racks my
body.
I have a weakness for men's hands ... and I've veered off course. I' m
checking out men for Gen, not me. But the only thing I'd complain
about on Eric's body is his long, thin hands. The rest of the package is
so good, however, that I happily overlook it.
This is beyond annoying. I swear I know this guy. Did we go to high
school together?
I wonder if Gen has noticed how amazing Jaeger's hands are. If Mason
doesn't work out, Jaeger should be put at the top of Gen's list of
prospects.
"—we worked at Heavenly together," Mason says, and I tune back in to
the conversation.
I take a seat beside Adam and Jaeger, leaving Gen the chair between
Jaeger and Mason.
Gen and Mason strike up a conversation about one of the supervising
waitresses from work, and I listen in as Adam continues what must
have been the conversation Gen and I interrupted when we arrived.
"I don't know what he was thinking." Adam shakes his head in
disbelief. "Why would he cheat with prostitutes? Groupies,
maybe—but

prostitutes? Germs, man. Disease." He mocks a shiver. "Just not right,
even for a celebrity."
Gen and I are entertainment news junkies. I run through my mental
Rolodex to ascertain which trashy celeb Adam's referring to. The pop
star? Or the athlete whose prior reputation was as a virgin former
choirboy? It's a tough call. I lean closer to catch details.
Jaeger eases back in his chair, his shoulder inches away. His body heat
crosses the space between us, a pleasant whiff of shaving cream filling
my senses, making my heart beat faster. He runs his knuckles down
firm thighs, and a ripple of attraction shoots through my belly.
What the hell? I sit up, eyes trained on Adam. I haven't noticed another
guy since before Eric, and here I am, checking out and feeling things
for one of Gen's prospects, like he's for me. Suddenly, I'm on edge.
My gaze darts to Jaeger' s face and I wonder again how I know this guy.
The more I look, the more familiar he appears.
Jaeger nods as if he's listening to Adam, but he doesn't contribute to the
conversation. Almost as though he knows Adam will continue without
input from others. Adam's overly chatty. That's annoying. It's a good
thing Mason introduced the girl Breanna beside Adam as his girlfriend,
and I already struck him from the list.
Gen and Mason's conversation dies down and Mason looks up. He
pushes a spear of olives from one side of his martini glass to the other.
"Why bother getting married? He should have stayed single." He lifts
the glass and takes a swallow. Mason has obviously been paying
attention to his friends' conversation while he chatted up Gen.
Gotta be the athlete. The pop star isn't married. "You're talking about
that basketball player, right?" I say.
Mason nods.
"He's a bastard."
A low rumble escapes from Jaeger. I glance up and catch a faint smile.
"His wife and kids will make out, no matter what he did. " With his
thumb and forefinger, Adam picks a loose thread from the back of
Breanna's blouse and flicks it to the floor.

She doesn't seem to notice his anal-retentive grooming of her. "Adam,
money isn't everything."
"I agree. I wouldn't consider that a good lot in life," Gen says, gripping
the glass the waitress placed before her. "The wife has a husband she
can't trust and small children to raise—probably by herself."
Ugh-h-h. Don't go there, Gen. You 're wearing your heartache on your
sleeve!
Mason shoots her a sweet smile. Good. He doesn't seem put off. The
conversation slowly turns to the lighter topics of skiing and
snowboarding.
Mason's head notches up, his attention on Adam. "Remember when
you thought you saw Gisele on the slopes a few years ago?"
Adam raises his hands for emphasis. "Man, it was her, I swear!"
Jaeger's shoulder dips closer to me. "How have you been, Cali?" His
deep voice turns my spine limp and spongy. I could melt from the
sound of it and happily live as a sticky puddle on the lounge floor.
We do know each other. "I'm sorry—you're familiar, but I can't
remember how."
He leans forward, elbows on his knees, head angled toward me without
directly looking. "Tyler." Tyler's my older brother. It all makes sense
now.
Images cross my mind of a tall, slender guy with blond, shaggy hair
who used to hang out with Tyler during my freshman year in high
school. My gaze rakes Jaeger's hard, well-defined, heavily muscled
body. Is it possible for a guy to add sixty pounds of muscle and a couple
extra inches of height between the ages of eighteen and—? I mentally
calculate. He's gotta be my brother's age, about twenty-three—no,
Tyler skipped a grade—Jaeger must be twenty-four.
His hair is darker, but it was longer and probably sun-bleached when
we were in high school. The guy I remember also had an unusual name,
though I couldn't say for sure that it was Jaeger. His family was
originally from another country. He was quiet, like this guy, and now

that I look closer, the face is similar. This must be the same person, and
if it is, he's filled out. A lot.
He was also a skiing champion and had a long-term girlfriend.
I never thought he noticed me.
"—you ran over a family of four and almost killed yourself on a
low-hanging branch to chase her." The corners of Mason's mouth turn
up as if merrily reliving the memory of Adam pursuing Gisele like a
jackass.
I glance at Jaeger. He's looking at Mason, a small smile curving his
lips. It's the cutest guy smile I think I've ever seen, and it transforms
him from large, enigmatic male into something more approachable and
appealing. He's definitely going on Gen's list.
"It would have been worth it," Adam mumbles. "If I could have talked
to Gisele, I know I could have gotten her digits."
Mason laughs and Jaeger shifts in his seat. His mouth morphs into a full
grin, and his gaze strays to mine, hovering. His smile reduces to
something sultry and curious. Heat rises from my girl parts to my chest.
I lose the ability to breathe.
Holy shit.
Jaeger hasn't looked at me dead-on since we arrived, and the impact
tumbles my brain. His eyes are dark green along the edges of the iris,
like the center of a pine needle, growing lighter toward the middle.
Abruptly, he looks down at his hands, before observing his friends
again.
I slump in my seat. This might be Tyler's high school friend, but he' s
changed.
I'm reeling. I mean, really freaking out right now. I've never felt instant
sizzle before, and with Jaeger—my brother's friend? That's a no-go
zone. I have a boyfriend!
I lift my hand and signal to the waitress. She sees me and walks over.
"Shot of Cuervo, please."
Startled faces peer at me from around the table. What? "Anyone else
want one?"
Jaeger and Adam order a shot.
Breanna purses her lips and glares. "Excuse me! " She pokes her

chest and flips her hand out at Adam. "Girlfriend sitting here. Why are
you talking about pursuing another woman?"
Oh right, the Gisele conversation. God, that seems trivial compared to
the mini-crisis going on in my head.
"Bree, that was way before we met." Adam squeezes Breanna's
shoulder.
"Right, 'cause if you saw Gisele now, you would totally ignore her and
have zero interest out of your love and respect for me. Is that what you
meant to say?"
"Uhhh, yeah. Absolutely." Adam smiles mischievously at his friends
while he pats Breanna on the back.
"I saw that! " Breanna snaps.
Mason coughs into his hand, the corners of his mouth upturned.
"Hey, what about you, bro?" Adam glares at Mason, who Adam seems
to think is the cause of the strife between him and his girlfriend.
"What about me? If I ran into Gisele, the real Gisele, and not some
pseudo-lookalike, I would have been a hell of a lot smoother than you."
"I'm talking about when you challenged Shaun White. I seem to recall
you getting your ass kicked all over the mountain."
Gen absently passes me the green olives from her martini. She must not
be too worried about Mason getting razzed by his friend if she's
thinking about my stomach. Grinning, I pop one of the olives into my
mouth and glance up.
I choke before the olive passes my tonsils.
Jaeger is staring at my throat.
His gaze lifts to my eyes and heat rushes my face. I'd like to say the
look he's giving me is one of observation, as though he's watching an
exotic bird eat an unusual food. Gen's informed me on more than one
occasion that my love of green olives is unnatural. But Jaeger looks
sexy, and hot, and his gaze is sending fiery signals to my girl parts
again.
"I remember you now," I say without breaking eye contact. "You had a
girlfriend."
The heat in his eyes disappears. He turns away. "That was a long time
ago."
An enigmatic response from an enigmatic person. This is the Jaeger

I remember. Quiet. Reserved.
Jaeger glances at Gen and his expression softens. There's no reason to
strike him from the list, not when I remember him as a good guy.
"He's an Olympic champion," Mason says, overriding my wayward
thoughts. "He had a few more skills than me, but I carved it up pretty
good—got in some decent tricks."
Adam frowns and rolls his shoulders. "I'll believe it when I see it."
"Guess you had to be there." Mason shrugs and finishes off his martini.
He has a fresh one in front of him he must have ordered with the tequila
shots.
I flag the waitress again and request another shot, chasing it with a
second martini to dull the hormones riding me. It's been almost a week
since I saw Eric ... and a lot longer since we had sex. My libido's been
neglected. Any hot guy could incite the reaction Jaeger does.
I listen to the others talk and lose track of the conversation. After a
while, I grab Gen' s chair. Or maybe her arm. Am I leaning on her?
She glances at me wearily. "Mason, we're gonna get going. Thanks for
inviting us tonight."
Crap, those shots that dulled my senses also made me forget to keep
tabs on the chemistry between Gen and Mason. Did they hit it off?
Mason smiles politely. "Great to meet you, Cali. I look forward to
seeing you around at Blue."
What a sweet guy. He's a keeper, and I'm going to tell Gen so, just as
soon as my tongue thins out. "Definitely!" I practically yell. It's the
only word I can get past my numb lips.
Gen's eyes widen. "I think we'll take a taxi."
I wave goodbye to the rest of them, and they return the gesture, except
for Jaeger, who observes my every uncoordinated move, his mouth
tense, brows drawn. I'm drunk, but not so drunk I don't know what a
loud, clumsy drunkass I am. Good thing I'm already in a relationship,
or there'd be embarrassment on the menu for tomorrow.
We leave Harrah's and I tell the cabbie to take us to the Last Stop.
They're open long after the casinos slow, with two a.m. breakfasts that
have just the right amount of grease.
Gen slides into a booth. I bump my hip on the table as I slither in

across from her.
"You're hammered, Cali."
"Yup." I hiccup, the foul flavor of vomitus and alcohol singeing my
tongue. "Need water."
Four glasses of water and a late-night breakfast large enough to feed a
two-hundred-pound man later, my mouth regains its dexterity.
"Mason's hot," I say casually.
Here's where I unearth the truth about Gen's feelings for Mason. "I' m
definitely going to keep my eye out for him at the casino. I need
something pretty to look at while I slave away shuffling cards."
I shift my gaze to catch her response. If one wishes to elicit a reaction
from the elusive species known as reservus quietgirlius, one must
poke.
Gen snorts indelicately. "Oh, it's rough for you, isn't it? Try carrying
around a fifteen-pound tray all night—in heels."
My brows pinch and I quickly smooth them out. I expected annoyance
at my checking out Mason, and she gives me nil. Not cool. Point one to
Gen, but I have more in my arsenal.
"Did you see his shoulders and arms? Those snowboarders are in good
shape."
"Okay—girl with a boyfriend."
Ouch. That one hit the soft spot. I already feel guilty about my
hormonal response to Jaeger. "I'm not actually interested. I just
appreciate a nice-looking guy when I see one. I think Mason likes you."
Gen swishes the ice in her clear plastic cup. "He doesn't like me. He's a
friend."
Okay, now I'm annoyed. She's not 'fessing up to anything. "He likes
you, Gen, and he's cute and sweet. What's wrong with him?"
"There's nothing wrong with him. I'm just wondering if maybe it's too
soon for me to date other guys." She thunks her cup on the table,
avoiding my eyes. "I haven't gotten over the last one that hurt me."
A perfectly valid point. So why do I feel like the A-hole isn't the real
reason she's suddenly shying away from dating? She needs to date
other guys in order to get out of her slump.
"I thought you were open to going out? Dating isn't a relationship,

it's just ... hanging. No strings, just fun."
Gen straightens. "I think maybe friendships are more my speed right
now." She shoves a forkful of hash browns into her mouth, shredded
bits dangling from one corner of her lips as she chews.
She doesn't fool me by shoveling in food like a toddler so she can't talk.
Gen's the consummate lady. I recognize avoidance tactics when I see
them.
"Enough about my dating woes," she finally says. "Let's get in a game
of table shuffleboard before we leave." She eyes the back wall where
it's located—changing the subject, dammit!
"Fine, but be prepared for an ass-kicking. You know how good I
am."
Gen chokes on her last bite. "That's absolutely not how I remember
your skills at shuffleboard, or Ping-Pong, or any other game or sport
requiring hand-eye coordination. Why do you think I want to play you?
I need an ego boost after being called Snow all night by the cougars."
The nickname Snow White is a part of Gen's hazing by the veteran
waitresses. "Cougars—are they hooking-up with younger guys?"
"One of them stared at Mason the entire time he and I shared our dinner
break. She wants to take a bite out of him badly. I don't think those
cougars are too happy we're friends. Can you believe it? Mason's gotta
be at least ten years younger than most of them."
Gen and Mason had dinner together? Nice. Maybe she'll change her
mind about this friends-only business.
"If I were their age and single, I'd be a cougar. So yes, I believe it." I
flex my fingers like I'm doing digit stretches. "I wouldn't be so cocky
about table shuffleboard if I were you. My dexterity and speed have
improved dramatically after long hours of dealing cards."
Gen rolls her eyes. "Uh-huh."
I shouldn't have goaded her. She gives me a Gen Shuffleboard
Smackdown of five-zip in under an hour.
By the time we return home, I'm not sure who's more nervous about
Gen's future dating adventures—her, or me as her wingwoman, thrust
in front of tempting, attractive men.
Or just one attractive man.

Chapter Three
I am officially the card-dealing samurai. I've gotten so good these last
two weeks that I multitask while I work and scope out the action inside
the casino. It's like watching Casino Real World. Right now, the sweet,
brunette swing-shift waitress is flirting with the tall, dark-haired
cashier behind the cage, while two other waitresses—who I'm pretty
sure have a thing for each other—chat by a row of slots. Over in Gen's
lounge, two youngish executives with loosened ties troll for women.
Their game is that they are there for an end-of-the-day drink, but I can
tell they're looking for a hook-up. One of them has been tracking Gen's
every move. It's making me nervous.
I deal my next hand and glance into the East Bar, where Gen's safely
ensconced, chatting up Mason.
My heart warms at the sight. I'm like a proud mama duck watching her
duckling venture into the world. Gen and Mason have been casually
flirting for a couple of weeks. Well, okay, I can't tell if the banter is
friendly or flirty, but at this point I don't care. Gen's laughing and
smiling more, and that's all that matters. This is the happiest I've seen
her in months.
Jaeger swaggers up to Mason's bar and my heart pumps an extra beat.
He's in a black T-shirt and dark jeans and my mouth goes dry just
looking at him—
"Hit."
Crap, I missed a customer signal. Too much casino-watching.
The woman glares. I quickly deal a card and count the odds, shoving
my head in the game. When I can no longer stand the suspense, I glance
at Mason's bar.
Jaeger is smiling at Gen, his forearm on the counter, body angled
toward her. I can' t look away. Corded muscles in his arm flex under his
weight, his hand casually curled.
Damn those hot hands. Visions of them grasping my flesh and
skimming over my body hijack my mind.
Eric hasn't called, and Jaeger's effect on me is inconvenient. I was

hoping Eric would visit and remind me why we're together, because I'm
not feeling the love.
I shift my feet, gaze shooting now and then to the trio at the bar. Gen
laughs at something Jaeger says and jealousy spears my chest.
This is ridiculous. I want Gen to have male attention. Why does this
particular guy's attention have me so upset? He was my brother's
friend, and for all I know, he's still in touch with Tyler. I should call
Tyler and get the scoop.
Two of my customers rise, gathering their chips. They've lost the last
three rounds.
I can predict with 99 percent accuracy when a customer will leave.
Three rounds of losses have a 50 percent probability, while five or six
rounds guarantee they'll be moving along.
Tonight I'm hot. No one stays at my table for more than a few hands.
My last two customers, middle-aged mother types, show each other
their cards. They've managed to break even for a half hour. The longest
stretch so far.
Dealer shows a ten. Not looking good, ladies.
The woman with frosted blond bangs scrunches her nose. She whispers
to her pal, her bright pink, fake nails shining in the overhead lights as
she cups her mouth. With a nod from her friend, she swipes the table,
indicating a hit.
I deal her card and her lips press together in a subdued smile, but her
eyes dart warily to my ten.
Her friend hits as well, then holds.
I flip my hidden card. Ace.
House takes all.
Again.
I' m even winning when it comes to getting Gen hooked-up, so what the
hell is wrong with me? Why does everything Jaeger does have me on
edge? I need to talk to Eric. He hasn't called since before his visit, and
that was three weeks ago. He's texted a couple of times, so I know he' s
alive.
My tight ponytail is giving me a headache. I hold my hands over

the table, clap them together, and show my palms to the ceiling—and
the creepy people watching from the surveillance system—before
tugging the strands loose near my temple.
The pressure eases, but the sledgehammer behind my scalp persists.
Flashing my hands again, I show I haven't pulled any cards from
behind my ears and deal another hand. A new customer sits at my table
while I' m looking down, and the fine hairs on the back of my neck
tingle.
Jaeger is seated in front of me, his shoulders practically taking up two
seat widths. My heart ricochets inside my chest like a pinball. I can't
control the smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth.
Stop smiling! I compress my lips in a straight line.
Jaeger doesn't say anything, and when it's his turn to hit, he swipes his
card. "What are you doing after work tonight?"
Where is he going with this? He can't be hitting on me—well, he's
hitting, but not on me. I pass him his card. "Um, not much."
Jaeger is here to flirt with Gen. There's nothing to worry about. I am not
cheating on Eric.
"You up for experiencing a Tahoe sunrise tradition?"
Sounds promising. Jaeger, or it could be Mason, probably wants to see
Gen tonight and Jaeger's checking in with me because she and I are a
package deal. I' m thinking champagne on the beach . he has skills, if
this is how he plays it with her.
"I'm game. What did Gen say?" I flip my hidden card and add a six to
my seven. I deal myself another. King.
Dealer busts.
And just like that, my winning streak breaks.
The frosted sisters lost as well, and have already abandoned the table.
Jaeger's eighteen is the winning hand.
"She says she'll go if you do." He scrapes up his winnings.
I search his expression, but he's not looking at me. All I see are the tips
of his lashes, a full bottom lip, and a square jawline framed by broad
shoulders. I can't tell if he's making sure I'm going so Gen feels
comfortable, or if he wants me there. Which is stupid. It doesn't matter
whether he wants me there or not. Gen's the available one.
Why the hell am I thinking about this at all? I need to talk to Eric.

"We get off at three. What time do you want to meet?"
Jaeger shoves his chips into his pocket, and I'm staring at the corded
muscles along his forearms again. Dammit! Can the guy wear
something other than flesh-baring T-shirts? What is this, a strip club?
"I'll pick you up at the front entrance at three-thirty."
I force my gaze up.
"Wear something comfortable." His eyes dip, only for a moment—a
glance that takes in my polyester uniform as if it were revealing. My
uniform is the same one every dealer wears—unsexed—and it's not
attractive. But that glance was proprietary. And hot.
Jaeger merges with the crowd and my pit boss hands me a new stack of
cards. I focus on my kickass riffle shuffle and not the beautiful man
striding away from my table.

Chapter Four
"Fishing? You're taking us fishing? "
In the time it took us to grab food before the "sunrise tradition," the sky
turned from black to dark blue. Four fishing poles glint like spears in
the predawn light of Jaeger' s truck bed.
I scratch my head, trying to figure out what the hell these guys are
thinking. This is not my idea of a good time. Was this Mason's or
Jaeger's idea? I'm adjusting my assessment of their seduction skills.
It's getting close to five in the morning and we're on a beach north of
Stateline I've never been to. Small rowboats are moored at a narrow
dock.
Hello? Anyone hear of boats with engines? What are we, in the
sixteenth century?
My mood is pissy, but I'm freaking tired. And it's cold out here.
Jaeger lifts a box I assume contains tackle and grabs the fishing poles.
I've seen people fish. I understand the requisite accoutrements. I just
never thought I'd be using them in this lifetime. There's a time and
place to acquire fish—laid out on ice in the meat section of the grocery
store is my preference.
"Scared?" Mason raises a brow, his dimple in effect. He's goading
me?
I cross my arms. "How hard can it be?"
Jaeger is wholly focused on putting together the fishing gear. He's not
saying anything, but I think he's aware I'm not excited about this. Could
be the extreme animosity I'm giving off.
Jaeger was vague when he invited me, and the two of them have kept
the details of our adventure a secret until now. Sneaky.
They walk to the water's edge and untie the twin drowning contraptions
from the dock, dragging them to shore.
I glance at Gen, who's watching intently. She looks at me, shrugs, and
heads for the boats.
Great. How am I going to find her a good guy if she doesn't have the
natural instincts to know when she's being properly wooed? The Last

Stop for a quick bite and a fishing trip are not what I consider wining
and dining.
"Have you done this before?" Gen asks after I reluctantly join her, her
face alight with excitement.
Am I the only one who doesn't find the idea of fishing at five in the
morning the least bit entertaining? "No. You?"
She peers out longingly at the water. "I used to go with my grandfather
when I was a kid, but I haven't been in a long time. This is going to be
fun." She wraps her arm around my shoulders and squeezes the blood
from my limbs.
Oh God. My headache is returning. I glance at the truck. Is it too late to
back out? There's something about luring innocent fish and then
manhandling their slimy bodies until they die that makes me want to
hide beneath a rock.
Mason turns around. "Gen, you and I are together. Hop in from here.
It's easier than from the dock."
Wait, what? I'm going with Jaeger? Alone? "Shouldn't Gen and I go
together? She's fished before. She can help me out."
Mason shakes his head. "She told me a couple of days ago that she
doesn't have a fishing license."
Gen shrugs and nods in agreement.
Wait, is this the reason we're out here at five in the morning? Gen and
Mason talked about fishing and now Mason's taking her? Not exactly
my idea of romantic, but if he was listening to something she wanted to
do, I can't argue.
"Technically, neither of you should fish without a license, but we can
probably get away with it if we split up. These boats are too small to
accommodate both me and Jaeger, and I don't want to leave you girls
alone."
I could admire Mason's protective nature if I wasn't so panicked about
being marooned with Jaeger. My stomach's doing its version of the
Harlem Shake, threatening to eject the large meal I just ate.
Eric would do this—be a friend's wingman and hang with a girl's best
friend so his buddy could get to know someone. That's all this is. That's
all Jaeger's doing too. He doesn't care if he's alone with me. Why

should I?
Releasing the clamp on my airways, I breathe deeply and approach
Jaeger's boat.
The fishing poles are loaded, along with a tackle box and a small
cooler. He reaches out and I take his hand. It's padded with muscle,
warm and firm, and it engulfs mine. A shock of heat rushes my chest.
Previous dreams of that hand on my body dive-bomb any hope of
rational thought. I stagger into the boat, my butt landing with a jarring
drop.
Jaeger passes me a paddle and I brace myself against the side, digging
my fingers into the metal. Fantasies aren't cheating. Still, this has got to
stop. Most hot guys drop about ten notches after I get to know them. I'll
ask Jaeger a few pointed questions. That should douse the ardor.
I dip my oar into the water and we attempt a rhythm, paddling out on
the lake. Jaeger focuses on something in the distance and I follow his
gaze.
"Head for the outcrop." He points to the dark rock wall a quarter of a
mile away.
We clumsily row to the peninsula. Okay, the clumsy part's on me; I' m
chopping and splashing, maneuvering my paddle like a hacksaw. The
sky is sapphire blue with the rising sun, which has yet to crest Tahoe's
circular ridge of mountains.
"Why over here?" I ask as we near. "Shouldn't we go deeper?" "This is
deep, and the fish like coves. It's also closer to shore—less labor on our
part." He sets his oar down, his gaze intent on my face. For a moment,
he doesn't move, he simply stares, his jaw working as if he's trying to
decide whether or not to say something.
Gen and Mason are closer to shore than we are. Hushed conversation
floats over from their direction, but nothing decipherable. Jaeger and I
might as well be alone. I glance away and focus on the obsidian water.
Jaeger's warm leg brushes my calf as he reaches for a pole. "You've
never done this before?"
For a moment, I wonder what he's talking about. The heat from his

leg and the proximity of his body has me thinking of make-out sessions
and cheating on boyfriends. Multiple yeses to the former—no to the
latter.
Then I remember we're supposed to be fishing. "No." "I'll bait your
hook."
"Excuse me?" Why does everything he says sound like a pick-up
line?
He raises an eyebrow and pulls a wiggling worm from a Styrofoam
container. He spears the worm on the end of a hook the size of my
pinky. I throw up a little in my mouth. Why am I here again? Gen's boat
drifts farther away. I can't hear anything from them
now.
"Here." Jaeger holds out the fishing rod with the worm still wiggling on
the end. "Press the button on the reel and drop the hook."
I'm trying to concentrate on his words, but I can't stop staring at the
impaled worm. I gingerly take the reel, holding it so Mr. Worm doesn't
touch me, or get knocked against the side of the boat, adding insult to
injury. Lowering the tip of the pole, I let him float on the lake's surface.
Maybe the little guy will get lucky and escape his torture device while
Jaeger finishes his instructions.
"After you drop the line, press the release when I tell you."
Bossy, are we? But I press the button and the line sinks, whistling as it
descends. Now the worm is drowning. Fishing cannot be humane.
Jaeger gives the signal and I press the button to stop the reel. I grip the
rod as if it were an ax and stare at the end, with no clue what I'm
supposed to be waiting for.
Jaeger pulls another worm from the Styrofoam container and I look
away. I know what's about to happen. I can't watch this one's fate at the
end of Jaeger's hook.
Why does that bring to mind my own destiny?
At the sound of his line going into the water, I peer over. He locks his
reel and reaches for a small cooler he loaded before we boarded. He
pulls out a Budweiser and pops the top, passing it.
Cheap beer at five thirty in the morning? I will gladly take said beer and
drink it like it is mother's milk. The carbonation might settle

my stomach. At the very least, a light buzz could dim the sexual tension
and sense of doom in the air—or make it worse. Jesus, that's all I need.
If I' m the only one with dirty thoughts, I can deal, but if Jaeger is
attracted to me, too ... we have a problem.
"How will I know when I've caught a fish?"
He shushes me and glances over like I've been naughty, which I
have—in my mind. "You won't catch a fish if you scare them away," he
whispers.
I lower my voice. "Are you going to tell me how this is done, or
what?"
His mouth twitches. Without looking at me, he says, "They
nibble."
A tingle shoots down my chest and past my thighs. I squeeze my legs
together. Again with the dirty fishing talk!
"It will feel like a vibration, maybe a few quick tugs. Don't react right
away. Let the fish take a nice bite, then jerk your hook. If you feel more
movement, you've caught something."
He pops open a beer for himself and we sit in silence, me chugging my
beer and waiting to be nibbled, he as still as a stone two feet away.
After a few minutes, I hold out my hand for another beer and my line
vibrates. I don't react right away, but my rod has all my attention.
Taking the second beer he hands me, I wait, sipping carefully and
white-knuckling my pole.
Another small jerk and rattle. With his gaze on his own line, Jaeger
doesn't seem to notice.
The next tug from the mysterious creature below the surface has my
rod slipping a fraction from my fingers. I lurch the pole up and wind the
reel a couple of times to take up the slack. The end jerks like crazy. I' ve
caught something for sure.
Spinning the reel with quick, uncontrolled strokes, I fight to bring in
the wild animal, my adrenaline kicking up a notch. I'm getting this
fishing business now. Woman versus beast!
What exactly is down there? Are there freshwater sharks? Because I
think I caught one. This fish is a wily bugger. I'm straining and not
making much progress.

Jaeger scoots closer, our arms brushing. I sense when he sets his pole
down, his gaze on me. "Need help?"
Before I can answer, the boat dips and my grip loosens on the pole to
correct my balance. Jaeger sinks behind me on the bench I'm
straddling, his front to my back.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Figured you wanted to know how to reel it in." His deep voice, the
light cologne he's wearing, and the feel of his body against mine has me
frozen in place.
I choke. "I think I know how that's done."
His hands cover mine and I instantly release the pole, putting my hands
in my lap. He draws in the line with quick, efficient strokes, and the
fish breaches the surface of the water.
It's the size of a minnow.
What the hell? I had a dolphin on the end of that line.
I scoot to Jaeger's previous position as he makes a grab for Mr. Slimy
and gently unhooks my fish's lip. He tosses the minnow overboard, and
the little guy arcs and swims away.
"Why'd you throw him back?" I worked hard for that fish, and Mr.
Worm sacrificed his life.
"Catch and release. We're not keeping them, even if you had caught one
big enough to eat." His mouth curves.
Sounds like a guy's dating motto. "Hey, now. I don't see a fish on the
end of your hook. I guess it takes a delicate touch."
His eyes dart to my lap and my fingers curled there. A tingly sensation
runs down my back, warming my belly. He looks me in the eye. "Feel
free to exhibit your delicate touch anytime you like."
It's official. Jaeger's brain is in the gutter too.
Now I' m in trouble.
He re-baits my hook and hands me my line.
Time to nip this attraction in the bud. "So whatever happened to you? I
thought you were a star athlete. Skiing, wasn't it?"
A beat passes. He stares at the water. "Downhill."
I wait for him to continue. He seems relaxed, but too still, like I've hit
on something important.

"I don't ski anymore," he says, and adjusts his feet into a wider stance
on the boat's metal bottom, elbows braced on his knees. "A bad injury
took me out of competitive sports."
Definitely a sore spot, though he appears calm enough. According to
my brother, Jaeger was an amazing athlete. He was on track for the
Olympics, from what I recall. That's a big deal in a small town. It's also
one reason I never thought he noticed me. I was Tyler's skinny little
sister. Jaeger had a serious girlfriend and barely glanced my way when
he visited.
"What do you do now?"
He takes a swig of the beer he's been nursing since we rowed out. "I
carve wood."
An image of logs with bear heads etched into them and wooden totem
poles on the side of Highway 89 flashes through my mind. Wow, this
poor guy's life has seriously declined since high school.
"What about you?" He looks over, studying my face. "You just
graduated. What's your next step? I'm assuming the casino gig is
short-term."
God, if it wasn't, my mom would kill me. She busted her ass at the
casinos for twenty-two years to keep us afloat. I have one of those
deadbeat dads who calls a couple of times a year, and despite his
brilliant brain, can barely hold down a job long enough to cover his
expenses, let alone pay child support. Dad's never had his shit together,
which meant my mom had to be the adult and raise Tyler and me. She
gave up asking Dad for help long before they separated when I was
two.
"Yeah, short-term."
Jaeger continues to stare and I realize I haven't exactly answered the
question. I clear my throat. "I've been accepted into law school." He
nods, but the gesture is stiff. "Where?" "Harvard." A long pause
follows.
Law school is what I've worked for, but somehow, it doesn't feel real,
or . right. My visit to the campus last semester solidified those
concerns. I've never seen so many preppy kids in one spot. Talk about
not fitting in. I grew up around the casinos with a single mom. I'm
smart

and scrappy, not privileged. The adjustment to campus life at Harvard
is going to be huge, the loans crippling. If I work my ass off this
summer, I' ll have enough for half of my room and board—for the first
year. That doesn't include tuition, which costs five times as much.
That's where my high-paying legal position will come in after I
graduate. I'll essentially be working to pay for my education.
"So, you'll be leaving soon?" His tone is flat.
I don't answer right away. I can't say anything, because even though I
pursued this path, I'm not excited about it. No one wants to invest a
fortune in school, but it's more than that. There are programs that cost
less. I'm just not excited about law, period.
There, I've allowed the thought nagging at the back of my mind to rise
to the surface.
My mom wanted her kids to be doctors and lawyers—important
people. I think that's why she went after my dad all those years ago.
He'd graduated from Berkeley with honors. Mom discovered too late
that sometimes a hardworking man is more successful than a brilliant
one.
She couldn't afford full tuition and board for college, but Mom paid
half of Tyler' s and my college educations by working two full-time
jobs at the casinos. She wanted better for us. We did well in school and
her efforts weren't a waste. Which is why I can't tell her I don't want the
brilliant future laid out for me.
"I guess."
Jaeger's gaze drills into me. "You—"
"Jaeger," Mason calls out in a loud whisper. "We'd better go."
Jaeger swivels his head and we catch the motorboat approaching. It's a
little ways away, but heading straight for us.
Jaeger reels in his line and drops his pole in the bottom of the boat. He
grabs both oars. "Hold on."
I set my pole down and Jaeger's first thrust of the oars jerks me back.
We're gliding across the surface fast enough to make hair sweep from
my face in the breeze. His arms are like machines, cutting through the
water, shoulder muscles bunched and rippling beneath the long-sleeved
shirt he threw on over his T-shirt earlier. I can't stop

staring. He may have given up the Olympics and professional sports,
but he's fit. Must be all that whittling.
Jaeger gets us back to shore in a tenth of the time it took us to get out.
He hops from the boat onto the sand and pulls me and the boat up the
beach until only half the vessel lies in the water.
He hands me his keys and reaches out. "Hurry. You girls wait in my
truck."
I pocket the keys and grab hold of his fingers, determining the best way
to jump to shore without dunking or injuring myself. Jaeger made it
look easy, but he's twice my size.
I brace my foot on the tip of the bow, but my sandal slips on the metal
surface. I overcorrect and fall backward.
Jaeger whisks his arm around my back and lifts me from the boat. For a
second, my feet are suspended, my face level with his. He's holding me
up with one arm like an embrace, palm flat beneath the side of my
breast. His chest is solid and warm against mine, but it's his mouth
inches away that has my complete attention.
My breath comes in short gasps. Everything else but hot attraction
escapes my consciousness.
Jaeger loosens his grip and I slide to the ground, my legs wobbling as
they hit the sand. I stumble toward Gen, glancing back once to catch
Jaeger pushing our boat toward the dock.
I link arms with Gen. "What's going on?" My voice sounds breathless.
"Mason says the boat on its way over is the ranger checking for
licenses. Nothing serious if we get caught, but the fines are steep."
We climb inside Jaeger's truck and I maneuver into the back seat of the
cab. It's light out and I can see his vehicle more clearly. Silver exterior
and clean. The truck is brand new. Not bad for a totem pole salesman.
"You catch anything?" Gen asks, her eyes glowing from our adventure.
"Yeah, but we threw it back. Catch and release." I don't mention the
size of my fish. "How about you?"
"Nothing. Mason says he'll get me a license and we can go another

time."
An hour ago, I would have considered that the worst form of torture,
but now the idea isn't so unappealing. There's something to be said for
sitting on a calm lake drinking beer as the sun rises. Or maybe it's the
company that makes the difference.
Even after he mentioned his carving career, I' m drawn to Jaeger.
Forced to give up his dream, he created a new life for himself.
"What about you? Did you have fun with Mason?" I quirk my brows.
Gen shakes her head with a bemused smile and looks out the window.
"He's a good buddy."
A good buddy? Jaeger's seducing my panties off with his dirty fishing
talk, and Gen and Mason are forming a friendship?
No, no, no. Either Mason steps up his game, or Gen and Jaeger are
getting paired next time. Let her panties drop for the guy. I have a
boyfriend.
"What about you? How was Jaeger?"
"He's a good guy, Gen. You should consider him if things don't work
out with Mason."
Gen tilts her head and eyes me. Her lips part, like she's about to say
something, but the passenger door opens.
"All good!" Mason announces.
Jaeger slides into the driver's seat and our gazes collide in the rear-view
mirror. I look away.
"Ranger checked our licenses and let us go," Mason continues. "We'll
plan ahead next time and get you one-day passes."
I don't say anything, because I like the idea of doing this again.
Only next time, Gen goes with Jaeger.

Chapter Five
I amble into the kitchen at close to two in the afternoon. We don't
usually arrive home from work at six-thirty a.m., but the fishing
expedition made our wake-up especially late. Gen's by the sink, her
eyes half-lidded, slowly scrubbing coffee stains in a trance-like state
from the Adult Sippy Cup mug. She yawns. "Eloww."
Translation: Hello. She hasn't had her coffee yet, so she's technically
not awake. I pour mine into the Sexy Bitch mug. There are about fifty
to choose from. We have more mugs than we do dishes.
I open the fridge and scan the door. There you are, my beauties.
I pop the lid off my favorite deli jar, spear a green olive with a fork, and
jam it in my mouth.
Gen gags. "That's revolting. Why are you doing this to me before I' ve
had my coffee?"
Innocently, I offer her some.
"Bitch," she says without much power behind it. If ever there was a
time to tease Gen, it's in the morning, when she's at her weakest.
I hold up my mug. "That's Sexy Bitch to you."
Thirty minutes later, Gen's eyelids are fully operational and she's
flipping through a People magazine propped on her lap in one of the
lounge chairs out back. I'm in the chair next to her in a bikini top I
threw on above my pajama bottoms, my sketchpad on the table beside
me. I started doodling in elementary school. It's turned into an
obsession.
My eyes are closed, body angled toward the sun. I have on SPF one
thousand so my skin doesn't crisp and fall off. I like the feel of the sun
on me. I' m a pretend sunbather.
The scrape of a page turning rustles beside me. "A waitress from work
invited us to dinner tonight."
I pop open an eyelid. "One of the cougars?"
Gen pulls in her chin and shakes her head. "No, definitely not one of
them. Nessa's our age and really nice."
"Sounds fun, but I've got a Skype date with Eric."
Finally, finally, I managed to pin down my boyfriend via text. I

glance at the exchange on my phone from earlier, a smile on my face.
Cali: Thinking of our tubing trip down the American River with all this
glacial water nearby. Totally your fault we tipped. Saving that beer
was not worth it!
Eric: Worth it.
Cali: Miss you. Skype tonight? 8 p.m.? Eric: Sure.
Gen shivers, elbows pressed to her sides. "In that case, I'm glad I won't
be around."
I set my phone back in my lap. Eric and I have been known to discuss
sex around Gen. It could be because we have no shame, or it could be
because it drives her crazy—okay, it's both.
Somehow, though, I don't think our conversation will cover
Sex-Skyping. We haven't spoken over the phone in weeks. I'm more
interested in getting reassurance that everything is okay. My instincts
were right that day on the hike. Something is up with him.
I smile anyway. "Probably so." No point in drawing conclusions until I
talk to Eric.
Mostly I'm nervous. We've never gone this long without talking. Once I
know everything is fine, I'm sure my head will clear over this thing
with Jaeger.
It's midnight, and I've officially been stood up.
I' ve never been stood up—and by my own boyfriend?
Friggin' hell!
Digging into my second pint of butter pecan ice cream, the sound of the
bolt scraping comes from the front door. Gen walks in. Well, stomps,
really.
I kick up my fuzzy slippers onto the retro wood coffee table (it's

actually old as shit, but I'm trying to think positive) of our rental cabin
and wait for Gen to tell me what's up.
She eyes my carton of ice cream and huffs out a sigh. "Out of every Ben
and Jerry's flavor in existence you picked butter pecan? What about
Cookies 'n Cream, Super Fudge Chunk, or, I don't know, vanilla?" She
tosses her purse on the floor and plops next to me on the couch, staring
straight ahead.
I glance at her, the discarded purse, and then the tub of ice cream
resting on my belly, the spoon sticking out like a flag. "Ouch. What's
wrong with butter pecan?"
Another long exhale, this time through her nose. "Let me have a bite of
your disgusting ice cream."
"Disgusting ice cream is an oxymoron. Get a spoon, and I may allow
your grubby fingers to grace the lip of my carton."
Gen hoists herself from the couch and shuffles into the kitchen. The
sound of drawers opening and closing and dishes clanking in the sink
comes from behind. There are no clean spoons. I know this because I
took the last one. If she succeeds in finding a clean spoon, I will happily
donate my firstborn child to—
Gen enters the living room holding up a spoon like it's a trophy. It' s
bent at a sixty-degree angle with divots on the sides from the garbage
disposal, but it's legit.
Damn. Bye-bye firstborn.
She plops next to me and digs a massive scoop from my carton. Easing
the spoon from her mouth, she considers her warped utensil. "I met
someone."
Ahhh, so that's what this is about. Sounds promising. I almost forget
my Eric misery with this news. "He didn't talk to me."
Okay, maybe not so promising. "And why is he of interest? Steer clear
of the A-holes, Gen. We're looking for good guys." "I know—believe
me, I know."
"But?"
"He kept looking at me, like he couldn't help himself, and then I
realized one of the girls at the party is his girlfriend."

I choke on a drizzle of butter pecan running down my throat. "Oh God,
no. Please tell me you are not interested in this guy. I thought the last
one was an anomaly. Are you attracted to two-timing bastards, or
something?"
Gen angles her head. "Let me finish." Her look is exasperated. "Once I
realized he had a girlfriend I wrote him off, okay. But—"
Oh, no. Nooo. She's rubbing the sharp divots in her spoon as if to
smooth them out, her train of thought lost. I'm afraid to think where this
is going, and refrained from exploding all over her ass by a hair. The
last thing she needs is the situation she escaped.
"—we sort of ran into each other in the hallway, like literally, we
bumped into each other." She turns to me, her eyes searching my face.
"Cali, I've never felt that before. When he touched me ... God, I don't
know how to explain it."
Oh, I think I know. I grind my teeth, vividly remembering when Jaeger
caught me from falling out of the fishing boat and the chemical reaction
that little embrace created. Hormones—pheromones—whatever. Lots
of them.
This is not good. It's all wrong. Neither of us should be feeling this
way. Not with these guys. It's my stupid advice coming back to bite me
in the ass. I pushed Gen to get out there and look what's happened. If
she hooks-up with A-hole number two, it'll be all my fault.
She shakes her head. "I've never felt that kind of attraction. Not with
anyone, especially not my ex. I can't stop thinking about this guy." Her
petite nose scrunches. "It's annoying."
I hear you, sister.
I shift until I'm square with her. "Listen to me—forget that guy. He's no
good or he wouldn't be staring at you with his girlfriend in the room,
and rubbing on you—"
"He didn't—"
"Whatever. Point is, you have the power to choose. You don't have to
fall in love with someone who will break your heart. That's not love."
She sniffs in a deep breath and nods.
"Don't forget Mason and Jaeger. They're both hot and single. Very

important detail right there."
Gen looks at me as if she's miffed. "It's not like I wanted a cheating
boyfriend." Her voice catches and now I feel bad.
I put my hand on hers. "No, but not all guys are trustworthy and you
need to be careful. Stay away from the ones who give you—" I shake
my head and look around. "—I don't know, a gut feeling that they're
hiding something. There's a good chance they are."
A vision of Eric flashes in my mind. I should take my own advice
"You're right."
I watch her, trying to detect what's going on inside her pretty head as
she chews the corner of her lip. "Eat more ice cream—it'll make you
feel better."
Gen digs her warped spoon into my carton, and I do too. Sugar-shock
therapy after the evening we've both had is in full effect.
"The good thing is, you never have to see this guy again."
She glances at me guiltily.
"What? You didn't make plans with him ..."
"No! But, I sort of made plans to meet Nessa tomorrow. They're
friends. He may be there."
"So, don't go."
"Awesome." She glares. "I'll just become a hermit. You're the one who
pushed me to get out."
Dammit, she's totally right. Foiled by my own advice.
"Look, come with me," she says. "They're going to that place you
talked about, Zephyr Cove. It'll be fun and you'll be there to intervene if
I need it, which I won't. The guy ... he doesn't seem the aggressive type.
This is probably all one-sided anyway. There's nothing to worry
about."

Chapter Six
Eleven in the morning is pretty early given our swing shifts. Even on
our days off, we stay up late and sleep in late. But some of Lake
Tahoe's best experiences occur in the a.m., which is why I'm on the
sand at eleven in the friggin' morning, waiting for Gen's friends to
arrive.
I'm face down on my towel and Gen's sitting next to me, fidgeting with
her purse and her trashy book, and anything else her hands graze. I so
have a bad feeling about this outing. It's her life, but it's hard to watch
someone you care for make the same mistake twice.
Nothing actually happened between her and the guy she met last night,
so I say nothing and attempt to simmer down. Matter of fact, I'll take a
catnap while we wait.
I'm just getting into pre-sleep body twitch mode when a shower of sand
splashes the side of my face, shattering the beginnings of a dream
involving me buck naked, sitting on the rock in the center of Eagle
Lake, completely alone. I'm not disappointed that one ended. It was one
of those anxiety dreams, but still. What the hell?
I sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep from my face, along with a bucket of
sand granules. Long, muscular golden legs with a dusting of blond hair
obstruct my vision. I gaze up, shading the sun with my hand.
Mason. Thank God. This is who I need to get Gen's mind off bad
influences.
"Cali! Sorry about that. You okay?" He squats in front of me, absently
grabs the football wedged in my armpit, and smiles at Gen.
Gen's leaning on her arms, grinning back. She looks comfortable and
relaxed. Which I can only assume means the fidgets earlier were
because of the other guy, not Mason. It's not like she knew Mason
would be here today anyway.
"I'm okay," I say, a sinking feeling settling in my belly. "No harm
done." I try to look around Mason, but his snowboarding behemoth
shoulders block my view. "Who are you with?"
"Jaeger." Mason plants the football in the sand beside him and drops to
a seated position. Guess he's staying a while. "Too beautiful to

go to the gym this morning. We came here instead."
I lean all the way to the side and that's when I see Jaeger—talking to a
petite brunette. She's wearing a tiny red bikini and smiling at him. The
dread from a moment ago vanishes, and my stomach tightens, chest
burning. Who's that?
Jaeger looks over and our eyes meet. My breath catches and suddenly
my heart's humming like he wasn't just talking to another girl, igniting
jealousy.
He says something to the brunette and walks toward us, his long stride
eating up the sand. The girl stares after him, her face a bit forlorn, and
then I don't know what she's doing, because my mind goes blank.
Jaeger is shirtless, his broad, muscled chest and shoulders lightly
tanned, narrowing to an eight-pack above low-slung swim trunks. His
legs aren't skinny like most tall guys, they're proportional and
well-muscled, just like the rest of him. Even the vertical scar down the
middle of his knee appeals in a rugged way.
My heart hammers. Suddenly, it's hot as hell out here, though my hands
are ice cold. I smooth out my towel and dust off the sand the football
splattered on me.
Jaeger walks up and sits in front of me, one arm on his knee.
"Hey."
I smile. It's all I can manage. He smells like sunscreen and something
so yummy ... I'm trying not to let it show, but I'm literally sniffing out
his scent. I have issues.
He grins playfully. "Been fishing lately?"
There are several ways to interpret that comment. Immediately, my
dirty mind goes to innuendo. "No, you?"
He shakes his head and grabs the football Mason has propped between
his hand and the sand. Mason doesn't seem to mind. Gen's telling him
about the friends we're meeting.
Jaeger looks over my shoulder to the barbecue section and I do too. It's
still early and no one's there yet. "Come on." He stands with the
football under his arm, hand outstretched.
I reach for it and he pulls me up. "Where are we going?"
"To toss the football around."

Oh shit. Shit, shit. "Uhh, probably not the best idea. I'm not good at
catch." Or sports, but no need to give him the dirty details.
He glances over his shoulder, increasing the distance between us along
an empty patch of beach. "I'll be gentle."
Why do I translate everything out of his mouth into something sexual?
I need to stay away from him. He's messing with my head.
Jaeger throws the ball. I lunge for it and miss. I pick it up, dust it off,
and throw it back—the way I always throw balls—like I'm launching a
grenade. I can't help it. Gen has tried to show me how it's done, but I
can't seem to get the hang of throwing.
My toss lands a dozen feet from Jaeger even though he ran for it. He
picks it up and stares at it, then turns and walks toward Gen and Mason.
"Where are you going?" I call.
He doesn't answer. He keeps walking until he reaches Mason and
firmly sets the ball beside him. Mason absently puts a hand on the
football while he continues chatting with Gen.
Jaeger turns and stalks toward me.
Oh shit. "What?"
He nears me like a lion preparing to pounce. "You're not allowed to
play catch. Ever."
My heart thrums in my ears. "I just need a little practice," I say shakily,
a combination of excitement and uncertainty bubbling inside.
He shakes his head. He's only a few feet from me now. "You need to be
punished for that toss. It was pitiful."
My jaw drops, but instead of fearing the overgrown male stalking me,
I'm turned on, and too curious to see what's he's going to do to care that
it might not be right. I shutter my expression. "You are mean, you
know that? Umff—"
Jaeger has picked me up and thrown me over his shoulder. "Hey! What
are you doing?" I quickly adjust my blue bikini top to keep my boobs
contained.
"Dunking you. That's your punishment."
I scream like a little girl. "Stop! The lake's freaking cold! Please don't."
But I'm giggling, and he's hot beneath my bare belly, and his

arm is wrapped around the back of my thighs, making my skin tingle.
My ass is bent in an unflattering position over his shoulder, flat and
wide, and I don't even care because I'm laughing so hard. "Jaeger, I'm
serious. I hate the cold."
"You grew up here—you can't hate the cold." The sand disappears
below us, replaced by clear blue water.
Shit, he's deep enough now that my toes graze the freezing surface. "I
do—I do—please stop," I say, but I'm smiling and I can hear it in my
voice, so he must too.
He glides me down the front of his chest, my breasts pushing up
between us. We're eye level, my legs submerged in ice-cold water to
my knees, but I'm hot as hell. He's warm, and we're warm, and my
breath hitches.
The corners of his mouth turn up. "What will you do to get out of your
punishment?"
My gaze flickers from his forest-green eyes, downturned slightly at the
edges, to his full lips. I want to kiss him. If I were single, I'd lean in and
gently kiss the corner of his mouth, teasingly.
I glance back to his sensual eyes. They're darker and his smile has
slipped, his chest rising and falling quicker.
I swallow. Shit. I have to stop this. "Please don't put me in the water."
He must read something on my face, because his brows pull together.
He stares for a long moment, then bends over. For a split second, I
think he's going to dunk me, but instead, he curls his arm beneath my
knees and cradles me to his chest.
His mouth curves and he leans down and dips my feet in the water. I
gasp, but he doesn't drop me, he carries me to shore.
Jaeger sets me on the sand. "You're safe. For now."
I don't know what just happened, but I think he sensed my hesitation
and backed off. I'm glad of that, but at the same time, I'm not. I should
tell him I have a boyfriend, but he hasn't asked, or made an overt pass
that would force the conversation. To say something now would be
presumptuous.
We walk silently to our friends. Gen's folding her towel. I look

past her and find the barbecue pits occupied.
Jaeger's quiet. He's got to know I'm attracted to him, but I can't tell if
his flirting is merely a wingman maneuver to keep me occupied while
Mason talks to Gen, or if he's seriously interested.
Mason looks over. "Cali, I was just telling Gen about the party we're
having next weekend. You guys should come."
Gen glances up while putting away her things and smiles. It's not a tight
smile, flagging me to come up with some excuse. It's friendly and
warm. Happy.
This could be a good opportunity for her and Mason to get to know
each other. "Sure. I'd love to go," I say.
Gen grabs her beach bag and swings it over her shoulder. We say
good-bye to the guys and make our way to the barbecue pits.
Halfway there, I glance back. Jaeger and Mason are jogging down the
beach, passing the pretty brunette Jaeger was flirting with earlier. She's
off to the side, smiling his way.
I don't know why I care. It's like some sick torture I'm putting myself
through. I shouldn't be attracted to him, but I am—and I can't help
feeling jealous over another girl who's able to flirt freely with him.
A handful of Nessa's friends at the barbecue are from the local Washoe
tribe. Nessa introduces us and I realize one of the guys is Zach, a
dark-skinned dealer from Blue whom I took for Mexican when I met
him at work. We chat for a half hour about which pit bosses are lax,
while I keep an eye on Gen.
Why?
Because that guy—Lewis, the one she had the spark with—is freaking
hot as hell. And his girlfriend, Mira, is here with him. She's a
bombshell with shiny, long black hair, and she's been sending eyeball
darts Gen's way for the past hour.
No joke, there could be a catfight. Gen's at the barbecue talking to my
dealer buddy, and Lewis, who's six and a half feet of deliciousness—he
might actually tower over Jaeger—walks up.
This is so much worse than Gen indicated. Lewis wants her and she has
no idea. Lewis has been playing it cool for the past hour, but he

watches Gen when she's not looking. Whenever he has an opportunity
to break free, he hovers around her. So not good!
I glance at Lewis's girlfriend. Oh yeah, Mira has her eye on them.
Nothing gets by that chick. She's sipping her beer and standing very
still, glancing at Lewis in between fake smiles with Nessa, who's
chattering on about who knows what.
Haphazardly tossing more chips on my plate at the picnic table, I
prepare to intervene if necessary. Lewis hands Gen a hot dog from the
meat he pulled off the barbecue after Zach stepped away from his
'cueing duties. Lewis leans down and says something into Gen's ear,
touching her shoulder. Gen's chest rises, her body leaning toward him.
I' m convinced I can see actual sparks.
Casino Real World has infiltrated the beach.
I glance at Mira. She's not even pretending to listen to Nessa anymore.
Nessa's brows pull together and she follows Mira's glare. Shit is about
to go down.
Gen's frozen in place, her chest rising and falling too quickly. She
glances up, her expression serious as she meets Lewis's eyes. They
stand like that for a few seconds. Mira looks ready to wrestle Gen to the
ground and I'm a breath away from breaking up the eyeball sex Gen
and Lewis are having, when Lewis's mouth kicks up at the side and he
walks away.
Damn, and I thought my situation sucked.
Eyes wide and unblinking, Gen scans the area and sees me. She says
something to Zach, who reappeared moments ago, and hightails it to
my side.
"I have to leave. Now. "
"On it," I tell her.
We thank Nessa while Lewis sips his beer from the side, subtly
watching Gen.
Oh, yeah. Gen definitely needs to stay away from this guy. She's no
match for him. With high cheekbones, a straight nose, masculine full
lips, and a smooth tan complexion, he's tall, dark and delicious, and he
wants her. No woman could fight that kind of attention.

Gen squeezes my hand and I glance over. Lewis has her in a staredown.
Damn, I wouldn't be able to look away either.
I grab her hand and haul her toward the car. When we're far enough
away, I ask, "You okay?"
She nods, but she's staring straight ahead and not speaking.
"Gen, what the hell was that?"
"Something that has to stop." She takes a deep breath. "I won't make
plans with Nessa next time unless I know he's not coming."

Chapter Seven
Gen and I lie low the next week. I run into Jaeger once at the casino,
and he reminds me about the party that weekend. I confirm we'll be
there, but my first priority is to talk to Eric. I can't stand not knowing
what's going on. Eric has avoided me for a month and I've had enough.
I'm driving to my old college, where he's living.
It' s Friday and I manage to get off early. Gen is letting me borrow her
car overnight and I'm crashing at my friend Reese's place near Dawson
University.
The drive down goes faster than I expected. That's what happens when
you spend the entire time trying to figure out how to ask your boyfriend
why he' s avoiding you without sounding completely pathetic. I've
decided it's impossible.
It's dark out, but all the lights are on at Reese's when I pull up.
Reese has a serious boyfriend, so I don't see her as often as I used to
when we were freshmen, but we've remained close. Conveniently, she
found a job on campus after graduation and still lives in town, while
most of my friends have moved on to greener pastures.
Reese answers the door to her apartment in black skinny jeans, heels,
and a designer sequined top.
"Bow-chica-bow-wow," I singsong. "Going out?"
She drags me inside. "Yes, and you are too."
"Actually—" I stop in the middle of her simple living room, consisting
of a plain, muted brown couch, a coffee table, and a television. It
always amazes me that someone as fashionable as Reese lives in a
place without flair, but her roommate is down-to-earth and Reese's
aesthetic obsessions tend toward clothing and accessories. "—I was
planning on finding Eric, then crashing early."
Reese's roommate Elena waves to me from the kitchen, her dark, wavy
hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head. She's in flannel
pajama bottoms and a ribbed tank top, stirring something that smells
like beef stew in a large pot. My mouth waters. I wouldn't mind
throwing on flannel PJs, forgetting this whole confronting Eric
business,

and joining her.
Reese studies my face. "What's going on? I figured when you asked to
stay here instead of with Eric, something was up."
"To be honest, I don't know what's going on." Which means there's a
strong possibility I'll be making a butter pecan run in the near future.
"Okay." Her eyes narrow. "So what's your plan?"
"Find him and figure it out?" Then eat my weight in butter pecan?
I'm pretty sure I know what Eric's going to say, but I still need to hear it.
When your boyfriend doesn't call for a month, doesn't return your calls,
and doesn't appear to care whether you breathe—what was that
ingenious book title?—oh yeah, He's Just Not That Into You. There's no
sense in pretending everything's okay, because it's not.
Reese drums her multicolored nails against her lips—are those
rhinestones on the tips? "What do you think about going to a bar?"
My upper lip curls. "Umm—"
"I only suggest it because I've seen Eric out a few times. Some of my
co-workers have run into him at the bars too."
Okay, that' s weird. I have no flippin' clue where Reese works on
campus. She's vague about it. "Your co-workers know him?"
She waves her hand absently. "Never mind that. The point is, you
might have better luck running him to ground at a bar."
And doesn't that just sound depressing? I have to hunt my boyfriend
down to get him to dump me. "I guess that's as good a plan as any."
A sad smile crosses her face. "Let's try Big Billy's. It's the new hotspot
on Friday nights." She scans my outfit. "Don't take this the wrong way,
but ... did you bring anything else to wear?"
I glance at the baggy jeans and T-shirt I threw on for the drive. "Are
you trying to tell me I look like crap?"
"If things are as bad as I think they are between you and Eric, you
should look hot. Make him see what he's missing."
Hot. Jaeger makes me feel hot, and desirable, but my boyfriend doesn't.
Something's wrong with that picture. "Okay." My voice comes out
weak and sad. When did I become this broken, pitiful thing?

"So, what did you pack?" I pick at my T-shirt.
She shakes her head and grabs my wrist. "Come on, we'll raid my
closet. My mom just sent a batch of new clothes from Rodeo Drive."
I forgot how rich Reese's Hollywood parents are. This should be
interesting.
An hour later, I' m dressed in a black mini, a butterfly-style top, and
five-inch heels, entering Big Billy's. My old college town is small, but
you'd be surprised how dressed up people get. The clothes I'm wearing
are mild compared to the short, sequined ensembles blinding me.
Reese and I squeeze through to the packed bar. We order Purple
Hooters and beers, and Reese lifts her shot glass. "Cheers!"
I gulp down the grape-flavored concoction, chased by beer that tastes
like piss. There's a special on tap and I'm trying to conserve money for
graduate school.
It isn't long before Eric walks in. He's dressed in faded jeans and his
favorite vintage 2006 World Cup T-shirt with an open short-sleeved
button-down. He's surrounded by a group of friends.
I don't feel the urge to run and hug him, which is what I would normally
do. Yes, he's been shitty and inattentive, to say the least. I'm not happy
about that. I don't like the limbo our relationship is in, but I've been
telling myself that my attraction to Jaeger is because I haven't seen
Eric. Well, I'm sitting here, staring at my boyfriend, and I don't feel
anything stronger than fondness.
What the hell?
Without the bond of school connecting Eric and me, it's like there's no
anchor and nothing is left. Was our relationship really that shallow?
Reese stares at me from across the booth. She glances from me to Eric,
but she doesn't say anything when I don't go to him. In the meantime,
Eric approaches the bar with his friends and immediately turns to a
leggy blonde in dressy shorts that ride up her crotch, while his friends
wait for their orders.
Eric leans in and touches the girl's thigh. A sharp burn sears my gut.
Eric's not here to help a friend hook-up, he's flirting to score. He

could have broken up with me at any point and moved on, if that's what
he wanted. Instead, he dragged things out.
Suddenly, I'm not sure what we shared together. I thought trust, at the
very least, but this is bad. Is it worse than me flirting with Jaeger? I
don't know. I question everything—my actions, Eric's actions—but
after the effort I made to have this confrontation, the idea of walking up
to Eric right now makes me want to hurl. I'd rather leave.
I don't.
Eric and his friends take a booth a few tables over. He's smiling at
something one of his friends says as I approach. The friend sees me
first. He elbows Eric in the arm and Eric lifts his head, the smile dying
on his face.
My heart squeezes. Despite everything, I thought Eric cared for me. He
seems shocked to see me, yes, but also annoyed. Like my presence has
ruined his night, and that feels like shit.
This is not love or caring. I don't deserve whatever this is.
Eric slides out of the booth and grabs my wrist. "Let's talk outside."
He's walking too fast. I yank from his hold and he glares at me as
though I' m being a defiant child. The bouncer at the door stamps our
hands and we exit Big Billy's.
Eric strides to a park bench at the far end of the block, as if he's afraid
someone will see us. He sits and waits for me to do the same. "What's
up?" The tone of his voice implies he wants to know why I'm here, not
how I'm doing.
"Seriously, Eric? I should ask you that question."
He lets out a tense sigh, leans on his knees, and drops his head in his
hands. "I'm sorry. I meant to say something when I visited you in Tahoe
. Fuck, Cali . " He looks up. "I chickened out."
Does he think our relationship will fade away into the ether like fog?
Son of a bitch. I'm not leaving till he says it. "Well, I'm here. Spit it out,
Eric."
He tenses, like he's bracing for a storm. "I—I want to break up." "No
shit?" I go heavy on the sarcasm, because what the fuck? Any sort of
confession that weekend he spent in Lake Tahoe would have been

better than dragging things out for as long as he has. "And you thought
avoiding me would be better than just saying so? A word of advice,
Eric. Give the girl you're dating a little respect and break up with her
before you move on."
"I haven't," he says quickly. "Moved on. Not really. I want to, though."
He looks down and sighs heavily. "Look, Cali, you're leaving, and I'll
find a job and all, but you're going to Harvard to become a lawyer.
We're just ... different. I can't see us together."
All of a sudden, memories like missiles blast my gray matter, as though
this is the end of my life instead of the end of a relationship . Eric
getting trashed and leaving me at a bar to find my way home . Eric,
more times than I can count, putting his friends ahead of spending time
with me . Eric never introducing me to his family.
Why didn't he ever introduce me to his family?
How in the world could I have imagined we had a good relationship?
Was I delusional? My perspective is turned upside down . or maybe
right side up. Eric and I shared good times, and he had his sweet
moments, but this is some important shit I've blocked, because of what?
Arrogance? Naivety? Avoidance?
Holy shit. What have I been doing? "Good-bye, Eric." I start to walk
away.
"Wait. I—we can still be friends."
I don't know how to read the expression on his face. It's not
hopeful—more like resigned, as though he doesn't want to be labeled
the bad guy.
"I don't think so." A part of me hurts at the idea of never seeing or
talking to Eric again, but I can't be his friend. First of all, he's a shitty
friend, considering how he broke up with me and thinking back to some
of the things he's done. Second, I need distance from him and the mess
that was our relationship.
Eric's jaw drops slightly, but he makes no move to stop me as I head for
the bar. Reese is waiting with another Purple Hooter. I don't feel like
drinking, but I down the shot, because she got it to cheer me up. She
doesn't ask what happened, but the look in her eyes says she already
knows.

Eric and his friends leave promptly after Eric returns. I stay as long as I
can without making it obvious I don't want to be there, which lasts
about twenty minutes.
Reese's blond Viking boyfriend gives us a ride home, and after
watching trashy TV for a couple of hours with Reese and her
roommate, the snot and tears and choking hiccups come. I silently cry
myself to sleep alone on their couch.

Chapter Eight
The return trip to Tahoe is therapeutic. I cry until I'm dehydrated. I
haven't decided if I'm weeping over the drama with Eric or my own
stupidity about our relationship. A bit of both, I think.
With a stop at a small sandwich shop in Placerville, I splash water on
my face. My turkey club is soggy and tastes like cardboard, my drink
like sugar water, but I chew and swallow and get back into the car.
Before turning the ignition, I call Gen.
"There you are," she says. "How did it go?"
"He dumped me." My voice comes out strong, but there's a slight
quiver.
Eric and I needed to break up, but I still care about him. Now that it's
over, I know I'll miss him. Not in an I'm in love kind of way, but in a
This is the guy I spent the last two years with way.
A moment of silence passes. "Cali—I—wow. I'm sorry. I know that's
what people say to make other people feel better—I've heard it enough
times these past few months—but in this case it's the truth. He didn' t
deserve you."
"I know. Now."
She lets out a soft sigh. "Where are you? I could find someone to take
me—"
"I'm fine. Just leaving Placerville."
"Okay." Her voice sounds hesitant, and then, "Oh, no."
"What?"
"We told Jaeger and Mason we'd go to the party tonight. But don't
worry. I'll text Mason and tell him we can't make it."
The part of me that hurts from rejection—which makes no sense, I
wanted things over in the end as much as Eric did, but there it
is—wants to crawl into bed and wallow. The other part, the part of me
that encouraged Gen to get back out there after her breakup, insists we
go to this party. "No, we'll go."
"Really? Are you sure?"
"It'll be good for us."

"Don't do this for me. I'm fine."
"I want to. I need to get out." Out of my head—away from the self-pity.
The steps up to Mason's townhouse are located just down from the
Heavenly Ski Resort. Dark, abandoned lift chairs glint in the
moonlight. Voices and music carry in the evening air.
Gen knocks and steps back, waiting. She's wearing cute jeans and
platform sandals. I'm in non-ass-cheek-baring dressy shorts, flats, and a
light, fitted sweater.
A minute passes. I shrug at her. "Try opening it."
She twists the knob and the door swings wide on oiled hinges. The
sound of music and talking elevates to ear-blasting proportions. Bodies
are everywhere.
I scan until I see Jaeger's head above all the rest. He's in the middle of
the room, talking animatedly.
That's weird. He's usually pretty subdued.
Warmth spreads along my limbs. I want to be close to him, to listen to
his deep rumbly voice, to get lost in the forest green of his eyes. Arms
linked, heads slightly bowed, Gen and I merge with the crowd,
charging through like a pair of mini-linebackers.
Jaeger glances up. A broad smile sweeps his face, sending my heart
into hyperdrive. Within seconds, he's by my side, dragging me to his
solid chest and draping an arm over Gen's shoulders. "Ladies! You
made
it."
This is where I want to be. Attraction aside, there's something about
Jaeger that's so comforting and natural, it's like I should have been here
all along.
Jaeger settles us under each of his muscled arms and guides us toward
the kitchen, illuminated like a beacon within the mood-darkened
apartment.
The volume in the kitchen is deafening, most likely an artifact of our
late arrival. People grow louder the more drunk they get and it's after
midnight. I got little sleep the night before, so a nap was mandatory, but
it made us late.

Jaeger pours two beers from the keg and nods to a corner in the dining
area where his friends are. The crowd parts for him as he walks over,
Gen and I tucked close behind.
Mason's hair and clothes are rumpled, as if it's been a rough night.
Adam stands beside Breanna, but she doesn't look happy. It could have
something to do with the fact that Adam is chatting up the girl next to
him.
God, I' m sick of shitty boyfriends.
Mason spots Gen and his slightly glassy eyes light up. "You made it! "
He grabs her waist and gives her a tight hug, taking a deliberate step
back to run his gaze down her body. "And you look really pretty."
A flush spreads over Gen's cheeks.
Nothing like Gen flustered over male attention to put a smile on my
face.
Mason steps closer and drapes an arm over her shoulders. Oh, yeah, he
wants her. Not that I doubted it, but with Mason in what I presume is a
drunken state, it's obvious.
Gen subtly leans away, which is baffling. Mason's a little tipsy, but he'
s hot and sweet. She should be all over that.
I nudge her closer, just to be annoying.
She reaches back and pinches the thin skin on my forearm. It hurts like
a bitch. I should never underestimate Gen in a test of physical prowess.
The girl may be all that is elegance and poise, but she's scrappy.
Point taken. Cali's matchmaking operation is shut down. I've proven I'
m a poor judge of mates.
I glance at Jaeger, who is inexplicably animated this evening. He's
actually doing the talking in a conversation with Adam. No matter what
mistakes I made in choosing Eric, there's no question that Jaeger is a
good guy. And to confuse the situation even more, I don't think Eric is a
bad guy. He just wasn't a good guy with me ... which means good guys
can be bad guys with the wrong girl .
My brain hurts.
I think I'll give up this whole dating thing. Take a vacation from it.
Focus on the future. Law school.

Okay, maybe just the immediate future, not the post immediate future,
where life takes the turn I'm not ready for.
A sharp heel punctures my musings and my ballet flats, breaking the
skin on the top of my foot. My gag reflexes activate. Mothereffer!
Before I can even hop on one foot and attempt recovery, I'm knocked to
the side by a bony hip as the wielder of the heel, wearing a
cellophaned-on dress, latches on to Jaeger.
"We're taking shots. Join us," says the girl with . crap, I'm not even sure
what color her hair is. It's sort of striped—brown? blond?—it's nearly
impossible to tell. She yanks Jaeger away.
Jaeger hesitantly follows, glancing back without making eye contact.
I sip my beer, fighting the urge to throw my cup at her head. She's all
over him, and I hate it. I hate it that I hate it.
Breanna and I talk for at least an hour, and I'm so proud of myself. I
don' t look for Jaeger once. This is a massive accomplishment, because
I' m obsessively glancing every few minutes at my iPhone to keep my
subconscious occupied. However, in my colossal effort to keep from
looking for Jaeger, I've lost Gen.
I remove my visual blinders in order to make sure my best friend hasn't
been roofied. I spot her a few feet away in a corner, loomed over by a
medium-sized guy with a lightweight black jacket and hair product
sculpted for the bedhead look. Gen in platforms is over six feet tall, so
she must seriously be leaning away from him for her to be hidden by
this
guy.
The place is crowded. I try to determine the most efficient way to reach
her when I spot Mason. He's facing my direction and I wave for his
attention. Amazingly, in all this chaos, he sees me and smiles. I gesture
to Gen with a distressed look on my face.
Mason glances over and frowns. He immediately navigates his way
through the crowd, slapping a large palm on the guy's back. He pulls
Gen out of the corner to his side. Casual words are exchanged between
Mason and the unnamed male, then Gen and Mason walk off.
I catch Mason's eye and give him a thumbs up. He nods in

recognition, but instead of bringing her over, he walks across the room
and up a flight of stairs. Gen doesn't seem distressed. She's grinning, so
I assume this is okay with her.
Several more minutes pass as I listen to Breanna complain about
Adam's flirting with other women before I decide it's time to check on
Gen. "Breanna, watch my cup?" I hand her the beer I've barely touched.
"I want to find out where Gen went."
"Yeah, no problem." She looks around, confused. "I didn't see her
leave."
"I think she's with Mason, but I want to make sure." Breanna's mouth
twists. "And interrupt? If she's with Mason, they might be . "
Gen is the last person to have sex with a guy at a party. I'm 100 percent
certain I won't interrupt anything like that, but there's a wide range in
between. I hate to ruin Mason's moves, but I'm not in the mood to trust
anyone right now.
"I'll cover my eyes before I walk through any doors."
Breanna laughs. As we part, she turns to say something to Adam a
couple of feet away, but he's talking to a different girl this time.
Breanna spins in the opposite direction and slams back her drink.
I do not see that relationship lasting. And I wouldn't blame Breanna if
she were the one to end it.
I round a corner at the top of the stairs and a hand reaches out and pulls
me inside one of the bedrooms. "Gahhh!"
"It's me," Jaeger chuckles in my ear.
Nice. He thinks this is funny. He almost stopped my heart with that
maneuver.
"What are you doing?" I punch him in the stomach, which only bruises
my knuckles.
He looks down and shrugs it off, as if I patted him on the belly like a
good boy. He guides me into the room by the shoulders. It's small—a
second bedroom that seems to serve as an office, with a couch against
the wall.
Before I know what's happening, Jaeger plasters me to his chest and
falls backward onto the couch.

I' m sprawled on top of him, legs sliding off his waist in an inelegant
partial straddle. He lies there with a goofy grin on his face, his arms
loosely draped over my back.
I could get up if I wanted to, but I don't. "Well, this is—" I glance
pointedly at my position atop him. "—interesting."
He squeezes me lightly.
Jaeger is enormous compared to most guys, but I've never felt afraid
with him. In fact, lying on top of his warm, utterly masculine body is
amazing, and oddly comforting.
I study the unguarded look in his eyes. He's not as rumpled as Mason,
but by my estimate, he's three sheets to the wind. "How many beers
does it take to topple a giant?"
Jaeger squints and raises one hand. His fingers flick as if he's counting.
After an absurdly long time, in which I yawn and examine my nails
while lying on my hot man-chaise, he finally says, "Twelve? No,
fourteen—we downed two this morning."
"Fourteen! How are you even conscious?" I press my fingers to his
neck, pretending to check for a pulse.
His baseball glove-sized paw captures my hand and flattens it against
his chest, his eyes closing contentedly. After a second of hesitation, I
lay my head below his chin and consider how strange this moment is.
I'm on Jaeger, in a loverlike pose, only he's my friend. And yet, this is
the only place I want to be. I won't analyze that thought too closely.
After a minute, Jaeger's breathing changes.
What the ... He did not just fall asleep. We may be friends, but I'm still
a woman, and, I like to think, fairly attractive.
I squirm a little to test my theory. He doesn't move. A light purr
emanates from his throat, growing deep and steady.
Goddammit, he did fall asleep!
Great. Just great. What does it say when a guy passes out with a girl
plastered on top of him? The hits to my ego just keep on coming.
I press one ear to his wide chest, listening to him breathe. After a while,
it grows creepy—on my part, not his—so I roll off my man-chaise and
stand, collecting the remains of my dignity. I wouldn't mind

cuddling longer, but in Jaeger's unconscious state, that would make it
weird.
Exiting the room quietly on a frustrated sigh, I close the door behind
me. This party was just getting fun, hanging out alone with Jaeger.
Down the hall another door opens. Gen walks out, followed by Mason.
She sees me and relief washes over her face.
What did Mason do? I spear him with a glare. He nods with barely a
glance at me, and continues down the hall and around the corner.
"Are you okay?" I ask Gen.
"Yeah." Her face is calm, so I relax a little. She glances after Mason.
"I'll explain in the car."
And she does. It turns out the party was a bust all around.
Mason tried to kiss Gen in his bedroom and she dodged it. I tried to
cuddle with Jaeger and he passed out. No one got lucky tonight. Not my
goal, but still.
My brilliant plan to help Gen is in a shambles and my own relationship
drama battles hers for biggest disaster.

Chapter Nine
"Yo, sis, what's up? I was just thinking about you."
My slightly overprotective brother, Tyler, is a slob, but he's a good
brother and I could really use his company. "What do you think about
coming for a visit?" I say over the phone.
Tyler is a community college teacher with summers off, so he's
available. As long as I don't tell him about Eric—he hates my
ex—having Tyler around will help take my mind off things. There's a
small voice in the back of my head that wants to pump Tyler for
information about his old high school buddy Jaeger, but I'm ignoring it.
He chuckles into the line. "Funny you should ask, because I'm here."
"What? Where?"
"With Mom. Came out to see her new digs."
My mom just bought her first house, in Carson City. She's rented her
entire life, so this is huge.
"You should check it out. It's not much, but she's proud. It would mean
a lot if you came."
Jesus, as hard as my mom worked at the casinos to put Tyler and me
through college, I'm proud. She only recently relocated to Carson.
She's got a stable job with benefits there. It pays less than what she
made in Tahoe, but Carson City has lower living costs. "I will, I
promise. I've been getting settled with my job and all, but I'll come out
as soon as I can."
"Well, don't take too long, or you'll be leaving again." For grad school.
How could I forget? "So, what do you think?" he asks.
"About what?" Tyler doesn't know about my reservations over school.
I'm avoiding thinking about them, but they're fixed in my
subconscious.
"Dude, what's up with you? About me driving out."
"Oh. I already said I want you to come."
"Cool. I'll be there in a couple of hours. Everything all right?"

I wouldn't call my brother the most perceptive male, but he can be at
inopportune times. "Yeah, fine."
And it will be. Now that things are officially over with Eric, I'll
eventually move on. It's everything else that has me screwed up. At
some point I'll have to address school. Just not now.
Two hours later, Tyler walks in the door and drops his duffel on the
dark brown wall-to-wall carpet of our rental house. We picked this
place for its proximity to the lake, but it' s the size of a dog kennel and
the furnishings look like something from a seventies sitcom.
Tyler lifts his brows wearily. "Where do you want me?" He peeks
inside the single bedroom. "I don't mind spooning with Gen, but you
snore."
"I do not snore!" I punch him in the arm and he grins. "You can sleep in
the loft." We both tip our heads back to view the alcove above the
kitchen.
We have a single bedroom, but there's a small loft up there with a
sketchy pull-down ladder. Neither Gen nor I wanted to risk our lives to
go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, so we share the queen
downstairs.
"Leave your stuff here, there's not much space up there." His gaze is
dubious. "Is there a bed?" "There's a full mattress on the floor. You'll be
fine." Tyler digs into his duffel, already spilling shit across our living
room floor.
"Tyler, our place is small. Rein in the clutter."
He bites into the PowerBar he unearthed from his crusty bag and
scratches his flat belly. "Can't. Not my nature."
This argument's a losing battle. He's totally right and sometimes I
wonder how he manages to attract as many women as he does.
Physically, I suppose he's good looking. His hair is wavy and a little
longish and hipster, especially when paired with his dark reading
glasses. I'm not going to call the color red, because he'd kill me and it's
not totally accurate. Let's call it chestnut—a medium brown with red
highlights. Lots of red highlights. Neither of us are carrot tops like our
mother. I am forever grateful for our father's plain brown hair.

Tyler and I both have pale blue eyes, and that's probably our most
redeeming physical quality. I often get complimented for mine by the
opposite sex. I assume he does too. Add to that a six-foot-two athletic
build, and I suppose some women might find him attractive, if you look
past his slovenly ways, flash temper, and myriad other annoying habits
I've had to live with all my life. As a brother, though, he's protective,
funny, and loyal.
Over the next couple of days, Tyler and I hit our favorite food spots and
he visits me at the casino. He brought his mountain bike, so when I'm
sleeping in the a.m. after working late, he entertains himself on the
trails with a buddy still living in town.
Having Tyler around has been good for my morale. I'm feeling sorry
for myself and Tyler keeps me distracted. He has no patience for
mopers and is highly vocal about it—usually in the form of an insult
that pisses me off and snaps me from my depression.
The weekend's almost here and I'm working tonight, but Tyler has
dropped in for a visit. He's gambling at my table and I'm kicking his
ass, which is sweet music because he always beat me at cards growing
up.
"Damn, Cali, when did you become a shark?"
I'm trying to act professional, but I can't help shooting Tyler a smug
look when my customers aren't looking. I have three decks in my
dispenser, which reduces a player's ability to make predictions. Tyler
counted cards when we were kids. He is disabled at Blue.
Despite my best intentions not to, I've obsessed over asking Tyler about
Jaeger. I don't want to give my brother the wrong impression. Knowing
him, he'd assume I had a thing for his buddy and get all overprotective.
But it's been long enough since his arrival that I think it's safe to
venture onto the subject.
My last real customer saunters off and I deal Tyler another hand,
ever-so-casually saying, "So, I think I ran into one of your friends from
high school. Do you remember that athlete, Jaeger?"
"Jaeg?"
Jaeg. That' s why his name was familiar, but not. He went by a
nickname in high school. "Yeah, isn't he the one you said was going to
the Olympics?"

"For skiing. Of course I remember him—he was one of my best friends.
But he's not going to the Olympics—or he didn't go." Tyler swipes his
hand for a hit, and then hits again after I deal the card. He busts with a
king, a three, and a nine. "Shattered his knee. Sort of dropped off after
that."
So that's how Jaeger's sports career ended. I saw the scar on his knee at
the beach, but didn't put the two together. Athletes are intense about
their sports. Olympic athletes border on obsessive. It had to have been
difficult for Jaeger to start over. My brother is by no means a champion
athlete, but even he gets aggro when it comes to training on his bike.
Jaeger's new wood-whittling profession should reduce his appeal, but
for some reason it doesn't. I'm not sure if it's the effort it must have
taken to reinvent himself that appeals, or if it's just him, in whatever
form, I'm attracted to. And that scares me. It's too soon for me to pursue
someone else.
"What's Jaeg up to?"
"His friend works here." I point to Mason at the East Bar. "Gen and I
have hung out with them a couple of times."
Tyler pockets his remaining chips and stands, glancing at Mason's bar.
Only a couple of customers hover in front of Mason and the other
bartender at the moment. "I'll talk to your friend and ask him about
Jaeg. Maybe we can get together before I go home."
The idea of me, Tyler, and Jaeger in the same room is unnerving. I'm
hoping Tyler's plans with Jaeger do not include me. The last thing I
want is for Tyler to pick up on my attraction to his friend and give me a
hard time about it.
Tyler sidles up to my table a little while later, but I'm busy and can't
talk. It's not until the next day that he brings up his conversation with
Mason.
He pulls milk out of the fridge and drinks from the carton like the
animal he is, while I paint my toes on the kitchen floor a couple of feet
away. "So, what's on the docket for tonight?" He shoves the milk back
on the shelf—mental note: Throw out carton with Tyler germs—and
drums his fingers on the counter. The high energy he's exuding leads
me

to believe he has something in mind.
I carefully rub a pink splotch off the tip of my big toe with a paper
towel. "Nothing. Why?"
"Your friend Mason gave me Jaeger's number. I got ahold of him and
he invited us to his parents' place for dinner tonight."
I mentally gasp. I'm not ready to see Jaeger. My newfound freedom
might propel me to do something stupid, like attack him for hot
rebound sex. "Umm—"
It's possible that the attraction I've felt for him stems from my
frustration with Eric. That I was grasping for attention and Jaeger was
the closest good-looking guy available. There's also the possibility that
Jaeger paid me attention to give Mason time to chat up Gen. He and I
were paired together in the fishing boat so Gen and Mason could be
alone. And later, Jaeger hauled me off at the party so Mason could
make his move.
"What's wrong? I thought you became friends with Jaeger this
summer?"
"I did." There's still a chance my attraction to Jaeger isn't an artifact of
Eric's neglect, or an illusion on Jaeger's part for the purpose of Mason
hooking-up with Gen. It's this possibility that scares the hell out of me.
Tyler rubs his forehead and looks around. "We don't have to go. I'd like
to see him, but I'm here to visit you."
Tyler leaves tomorrow. Today's the only day he has left to visit Jaeger.
They were tight growing up. I can't in good conscience say no. "You
should go, Tyler. You don't need me there."
"He invited everyone, and his mom's cooking her best dish. Just come,
Cali. It'll be fun. His parents and sister are great."
Saying no after that declaration might raise his suspicions. Maybe this
will work out. "Okay. I had been trying to set Gen up with Jaeger
anyway."
My stomach goes sour at the thought of Jaeger and Gen together. Now
that Mason is a no-go after Gen rebuffed his kiss, Jaeger is the only
person left on the list of prospects. I never should have starting that
stupid list.

I don' t want to rebound with Jaeger. I like him too much. Which is also
why I'm not eager to set Gen up with him.
Tyler squints. "You're setting those two up? Really?" I glare. "What's
wrong with my best friend?" "Nothing. She's fucking hot."
Sometimes it's difficult to believe my brother is a role model to
undergrads. He's 100 percent adult when it comes to his students. I'm
not even sure he notices the pretty girls who plant themselves in the
front rows of his lectures. It's like he shuts off his guy brain while at
work. But get him home, and he's as immature and horny as any
twenty-three-year-old.
Tyler's mouth twists as if attempting to reach some deep philosophical
conclusion, which for his analytical mind is probably a challenge. "It's
just ... well, I guess I can't see them together. They're both reserved,
you know? Aren't opposites supposed to attract?"
His assertion pleases me, and now I'm a terrible friend. But it makes me
physically sick to consider Jaeger and Gen in a relationship. I've gotta
scrap that idea.
I had everything figured out—life, love. It turns out I suck at
relationships and my plans for grad school might be my worst decision
yet.
"You might be right. Just don't discourage anyone I try to set her up
with. Gen's had a rough few months and she's only now coming out
of it."
He holds up his hands. "I want nothing to do with this." He points at
me. "And you should mind your own business. Let Jaeger find his own
woman. He doesn't need you meddling."
But what if he chooses the wrong girl? And what if she gives in because
she's messed up in the head and on the rebound?
Years ago, I visited Jaeger's parents' house when my mom asked me to
run up and grab Tyler for a soccer game. I waited in the entry while
Tyler changed into his uniform. As I recall, his parents were warm and
friendly, with awesome Austrian accents. Jaeger and his sister have
American accents, but they were born in the U.S., or moved here
shortly

after—I'm not entirely clear on the details.
Tyler does the honors and knocks on the large, elaborately carved
wooden door while Gen and I wait patiently beside him. I dip closer,
taking in the subtle design. A landscape of mountains juts toward the
sky, with streams and birds and all manner of wildlife. The door flies
open and I flinch, my nose too close to the surface.
Mrs. Lang ushers us inside and doesn't appear surprised at the fact that
I nearly fell into her home. She must be used to strangers gaping at her
front door. She grabs my brother in a bear hug. "Tyler, so good to see
you!" This actually comes out, Tylar-r, zo goot to see yu! with her
Austrian accent. "And Cali, such a beautiful, grown-up woman." She
hugs me too.
I introduce Jaeger's mother to Gen and we enter the cavernous living
room with its massive windows overlooking a breathtaking view of the
lake. I vaguely remember the floor plan of the first level, but the
furniture has been updated with plush leather couches, cream woven
throw pillows, and blankets in Native American zigzag patterns.
A beautiful girl with long blond hair rises from a barstool at the island
separating the living room from the kitchen. "Tyler, Cali, you
remember Jaeger's sister, Kerstin?" Mrs. Lang asks.
I don't, but my brother does. He's grinning like a boy with bag of candy.
Beautiful

blondes,

beautiful

brunettes—he's

pretty

equal

opportunity—beautiful being the main criterion.
Behind Kerstin, on the other side of the island, Jaeger opens a sliding
door, entering the room in front of a tall, handsome older man with
light, wavy brown hair peppered with white.
Deep in conversation, neither man notices us. Words like crushed
granite, compaction, and interlocking pavers fly from their lips as they
dust off their feet on a mat. Jaeger glances up, catches his sister
standing, and scans the room. His gaze lands on me and his mouth
twitches.
He walks over to my brother and they greet each other with a manly,
backslapping hug, the force of which would have knocked me over.
Introductions are made between me and Gen and Mr. Lang, and all of a
sudden I'm shy. That's not like me. But this is the first time I've seen
Jaeger since my breakup. The party doesn't count, because he was

so drunk I'm not even sure he remembers pulling me into the bedroom
and falling asleep with me on top of him—a humiliation from which
my ego will never recover.
We chat for a bit and it's not long before Jaeger's mom announces
dinner. She made beef stroganoff and we eat it family style around a
large trestle table made of what looks like reclaimed wood planks. The
food is delicious and Jaeger's parents and Gen, of all people, keep the
conversation going.
Gen and I have flip-flopped. Tonight she's the talkative one, while I'm
quiet. Or maybe she can tell I'm uncomfortable and she is doing her
best to make up for my conversational ineptitude.
"What made you decide to move to the States?" Gen asks Mr.
Lang.
He dabs the corner of his mouth with a cloth napkin. "We own a family
business that specializes in soft plastics. Two of our factories are
located in California. I work from home, but travel often to the
factories. We liked California and decided to move here when Jaeger
was a baby so that I'd have more time with the family."
A plastics empire. Explains the enormous home on the lake. The
timetable accounts for why neither Jaeger nor his sister has an Austrian
accent.
"Lake Tahoe provided an excellent training location for Jaeger when he
was competing," Mr. Lang continues. "My wife and I were very happy
with our decision to move."
The dishes are soon whisked away and Jaeger's parents disappear
downstairs, while Gen, Tyler, Jaeger, Kerstin, and I sit around the table
with a bottle of expensive wine. Mrs. Lang left a batch of apple strudel,
which Tyler and Jaeger are inhaling.
With his parents gone and Jaeger sitting across from me, I can't help
glancing over. He looks up at the same time I do and smiles. I return the
smile. His brows crease together, eyes scanning my face.
He stretches his arm across the table and tugs the sleeve at my wrist.
"What's wrong?"
I plaster another smile on my face more fake than the last. I shake my
head. I may be loud and outspoken, but it comes from genuine

conviction. I'm no good at lying, even when my best interests are at
stake.
From the moment Jaeger walked into the room with his dad, electric
zingers have been shooting through every cell in my body at strategic
moments. During chance eye contact—Jaeger tugging my sleeve—it
doesn't take much. It's like he's the plug and my body is the electrical
receptacle. And isn't that a raunchy yet accurate analogy.
I don't want this. The timing is off. I'm not ready for anything serious.
And for some reason, I get the sense that a casual hook-up with Jaeger
would destroy me in a way the breakup with Eric didn't.
Jaeger continues to stare, the puzzled expression shifting to mild
worry. I look down at the table, avoiding his eyes.
"Remember when you tried to grow sideburns, Tyler?" Kerstin says.
"All you managed were patchy blotches." She beams and my brother
frowns.
I like this girl. Kerstin must have spent time with Jaeger and my brother
in high school if she remembers Tyler's facial hair misadventures.
"He was so determined, he let them grow to his jawline," Kerstin
continues to regale Gen, "convinced that the added surface area would
thicken his burns." Kerstin snickers and I do too.
That shit was funny as hell. Tyler looked like a patchy Chewbacca for a
month. The best part is, Tyler's facial hair grows bright red. But even
that didn't deter him.
As funny as this conversation is, I can't sit while I sense Jaeger's
knowing eyes on me. I rise and walk a few feet to the large windows
overlooking the lake.
Nothing corrupts the electric vibe between me and Jaeger tonight—not
other relationships, not alcohol. What I'm feeling is pure and real. He's
even in tune with my conflicted emotions, and that can't be good. The
invitation to see if something could happen between us beckons, but I
can't give in to it. Jaeger is a temptation I'm not ready for.
"What's wrong with her?" my brother mumbles to Gen.
Bugger, no! I swing around, but before I can send Gen the evil eye and
warn her to keep her mouth shut, the new, more outgoing Gen

speaks.
"Her boyfriend broke up with her," she says under her breath, though
everyone hears. I can hear and I'm a few feet away. "How do you
expect her to act?"
"What?" Tyler says loudly, eyes flashing to me. "Is that true?"
Kerstin sits straighter. She glances hesitantly at me. Gen has her mouth
open, frozen in place, as if realizing her mistake.
I instinctively glance at Jaeger, praying he wasn't paying attention, but
he's holding a forkful of apple strudel near his mouth and staring at the
table. His gaze slowly moves to mine and his eyes darken. He sets
down the fork, jaw flexing.
"Tyler," I say quietly. "We'll talk later."
Tyler balls his hand into a fist on the table, his eyes narrowed. "I hate
that dipshit."
Excellent. Perfect time to hash this out. Thank you, Tyler. I will kill
you when we get home, along with Gen.
"You're not getting back together with him, Cali," Tyler declares.
I let out a long-suffering sigh and look to the ceiling. "Genevieve,
whatever happened to best friend confidentiality?"
Gen covers her mouth, grimacing. "I' m so sorry, Cali," she mumbles
through her fingers. She drops her hands helplessly. "I thought he
knew."
Jaeger looks off into the distance, his mouth tense. I never told him I
had a boyfriend. Why didn't I tell him? A million logical reasons kept
me from mentioning it before, but nothing comes to mind now. I feel
like I' ve betrayed him.
Jesus. I'm no better than Eric. If Jaeger and I are friends, which we are,
my relationship status should have come up. Now it's too late.
Jaeger stands and busses the last dishes from the table. He offers more
wine to everyone, his gaze barely touching me.
Tyler, Gen, and I leave shortly after the last drop of wine disappears,
and I want to throw myself into the lake. Getting dumped by Eric was
humiliating, sad, and enlightening in a painful, growing-up sort of way.
Our relationship was shallow. I realize that now.
But tonight—the betrayal on Jaeger's face? I'm devastated.

What have I done?

Chapter Ten
The casino's packed tonight. So packed, I'm having a hard time keeping
track of employee relations. And dammit, I need the distraction of
Casino Real World to keep my mind off my personal drama.
The waitress and her cashier lover have called it quits, considering the
glacial looks she's casting him, but the two cocktail waitresses, who
caress each other at every opportunity when they think no one's
looking, are going strong.
Personally, I don't understand it. Not the gay part—who cares about
that? But why the heck would you feel up your lover in front of the
black surveillance half-moons covering nearly every inch of the casino
ceiling? At least the cashier and the waitress were discreet about their
relationship. The other two tongued each other in front of the lounge
bartender tonight. I could have done without that visual.
The casino's primary focus is money, and making certain it doesn't flow
out faster than it flows in, but you've gotta be stupid to think the execs
aren't watching the employees. And call me prudish, but I sort of think
foreplay on the job is inappropriate.
It' s almost the end of my shift and the casino has slowed to a smooth
wave of customers. A group of college-aged guys slips past my table.
They look familiar. One of them stops in the middle of the aisle
separating my pit from the lounge where Gen works. His friends follow
his gaze and slap him on the back. They walk off to the roulette table,
while he saunters up the steps.
No. No, no, no. I glance around frantically, searching for someone,
anyone to help. I just took a break. I can't leave my table for another
hour, unless I feign illness, which I'm strongly considering.
Gen and Mason haven't been as friendly since the party, but I don't
sense animosity from him. At least, I hope his pride isn't so bruised he
wouldn't help Gen out, but he's slammed with customers, flipping
liquor bottles like a circus performer. My gaze catches on one of his
customers, because the guy literally stands out from the rest. I can't see
his face, but I'd know him from any angle. That's how aware I am of
Jaeger.

Jaeger glances up as if he senses me and nods, the gesture stiff. Before
he turns away, I wave him over. His brow quirks sardonically, an
uncharacteristically brassy response, but he grabs his drink and
saunters toward my table.
I shuffle three new decks and one of my customers leaves. Sometimes
they do that, as if the new cards will break their streak.
Jaeger's standing to my left. Even if I couldn't see him from the corner
of my eye, I'd know he was there. The air shifts when he's around.
"I need a favor," I say. I glance at the lounge. Gen's ex, the A-hole, has
her cornered and she doesn't look happy. "Will you go up to Gen and
pretend you're her boyfriend? Be obvious about it so she knows you're
there to help."
"You want me to be Gen's boyfriend." His tone is low, laced with
warning.
I glance up, startled. What? No, I don't want him to be her boyfriend!
"Look, I can't explain right now, but that guy she's with is a creep. I'd
rescue her if I could, but as you can see—" I sweep my hand in front of
my customers. "—I'm a little busy."
Jaeger stares at me, his masculine fingers dwarfing the cup in his hand,
the tips white as if he's a second away from breaking the glass. "What
do you suggest?"
I deal out a new hand. "I don't know ... just ... ah—" It's not easy to
multitask with my best friend's traumatic encounter unfolding.
"Grab her ass," my balding customer in dark sunglasses says. He
sniggers. "He'll get the message." His skin is shiny, the ice-cold air
conditioning no match for his girth.
I glare at him and glance back at Jaeger. "I don't think that's necessary.
Just treat her like you would a girl you're dating."
"Give her a sweet kiss," chimes the elderly woman in high-waisted
grandma jeans and a bright orange cardigan.
Holy hell, these people are killing me!
Jaeger slams back his drink and thumps it hard on the felt. I blink.
Mouth compressed, he spins and strides toward Gen.
Heat rushes up my neck. Shit. He won't ... he wouldn't ...

Jaeger closes in on Gen and her ex-boyfriend. Relief flashes across
Gen's face, swiftly replaced by uncertainty. Without breaking stride,
Jaeger wraps his arms around her waist from behind, leans down and
tucks his head against her neck. He cradles and rocks her hips toward
him.
I inhale sharply, a stab of jealousy so intense I can't breathe. My eyes
burn, my palms tingle where they're clenched. He's doing this because I
asked him to—and it hurts like nothing before.
I was right. Losing Eric was nothing compared to what it would be like
to lose this—thing—with Jaeger. This is fire and rage and sheer misery,
and I want it to stop.
Gen's ex steps back, gaping. He shifts his feet and seems to be saying
something to Gen, but she's not paying attention. Her head's tilted back
with a smile as Jaeger nuzzles her neck, whispering something into her
ear. She nods.
Son of a bitch!
"Oh, that'll convince the boy she's taken," says the woman with the
orange cardi. "Good for him! " She smacks the table, rattling the chips.
"Hey—" I snap my fingers at both my customers. "Pay attention,
people! "
I glare at Mr. Sweaty Sunglasses. "Hit or stay?"
What is wrong with me? I just asked the guy I'm infatuated with, who's
still mad I didn't tell him I had a boyfriend, to feel up my best friend? It
wouldn't be Gen's fault if she fell in love with him. Given the right
timing, I would.
I' m a blind dumbass.
The A-hole flings his hand in the air as if he's done with Gen and
stomps out of the lounge, his face contorted and flushed. I'm seconds
from clawing my way over the blackjack table to break up Gen and
Jaeger—players, pit boss be damned—when Jaeger looks directly over.
His mouth curves into a subtle smirk.
He knows what this is doing to me.
Jaeger loosens his hold on Gen and takes a step back. She looks
stunned and happily flustered.

Please don't let her want him, or my life is about to be miserable.
I' m in the employee basement, waiting at a cafeteria table for Gen to
meet me for dinner break. I have another ten minutes before I have to
return for my last hour on the floor, and I'm desperate to find out what
happened between her and Jaeger. I got the disturbing gist from the
vantage point at the blackjack table, but I want—no, need—to know
the details, and how Gen feels about him after he rushed in and rescued
her.
Gen enters the cafeteria and crosses the room with a smile on her face.
At least the encounter with the A-hole doesn't seem to have had any
lasting ill effects. That's something.
She points to the doodle I've been absently working on while I wait. It
vaguely resembles the mountain landscape etched into the front door of
Jaeger' s parents' house, only my doodle is made of shapes rather than
lines.
"That's really good." She looks closer. "Is that entire tree made up
of—" She cocks her head. "—triangles?"
"And squares and trapezoids. So what happened with the A-hole? I saw
him swoop in, but I couldn't get away."
"Oh, God! How does he know I work here? We stopped dating before I
decided to come to Tahoe. Weird. " She shakes her head. "Can you
believe he wanted to see what I was doing after work? As if I'd meet up
with him. Is he on something?"
"What did you say?"
"I told him I was busy, which isn't true. Jaeger walked up before he
could pester me about it." Neither of us are very good liars so I
understand her worry. Gen smiles. "Jaeger was so sweet, Cali."
I clear my throat. "So what did Jaeger do?"
A devious edge morphs her dreamy expression. "Put the A-hole in his
place. Nothing says I' m not interested more than I' ve moved on with a
smoking hot guy." She leans back in her chair, satisfied. "It was a
beautiful moment."
I'm sensing bloodlust from my gentle best friend, and I'm not sure
whether to be proud or fearful. "Yeah, I caught the tail end of that. The

A-hole looked pretty pissed."
She huffs out a breath. "You know what's funny? I don't even care, as
long as he stays away."
"I think it's a safe bet he will." I fill in the mountains on my napkin with
quadrilaterals, determining how best to go about asking my next
question. "What exactly did Jaeger say? I saw him whisper in your ear."
Her eyes squint and then soften. "Nothing, he just asked me to help him
with something tomorrow." She reaches across the table and steals a
fry.
I stop breathing and my hand stills on my sketch. He wants to see her?
Like, spend time with her?
I bite the inside of my lip until a coppery, metallic flavor runs over my
tongue.
Her eyes flicker to my napkin and she lifts her chin. "Hey, if you're
going to throw that one away like you do your other drawings when I'm
not looking, I want it."
Gen always asks for my doodles. I've never understood why.
I draw in the last shapes on my mountain—every square inch of the
napkin is covered in geometric shapes depicting the lake—but all I
think is it's done. Gen and Jaeger are going on a date tomorrow. That's
the end of any us.
It' s my own stupid fault. I hesitated, fearful of ruining things with
Jaeger if I acted too soon after my breakup. And then, like the dumbass
I am, I pushed Jaeger on Gen. It was the plan in the beginning, but the
more I thought about it, the less I liked it. I was finally sure at Jaeger's
parents' house that the attraction between us was genuine. Now, what if
all Jaeger and I can ever be is friends?
Men think they're exclusive with their man-codes, but women have
rules too. Even if Jaeger and Gen don't work out, dating your best
friend's ex is forbidden.
My stomach lurches under the fries I just ate. I pass Gen the napkin and
stand. "I'd better get back."
"Hey, is everything okay? You don't look well."
I smile reassuringly. I may not be the most altruistic human being on
the planet, but I' m devoted to the people I love. My goal was to see

Gen happy this summer and set her up with a nice guy. She seems
happy and Jaeger is a nice guy.
I got what I asked for.
And isn't that a bitch.

Chapter Eleven
I'm on the patio in my bikini top and pajama shorts, doodling. It's all I
can do to defuse thoughts of Gen and Jaeger's date today. I woke up
early, irritable and out of sorts, and found a plain notepad in a drawer in
the kitchen. My drawing this morning is larger and more elaborate than
my usual, depicting the casino in all its glory. There's a line of slots and
a waitress flagrantly leaning over her customer, sugaring him up with a
drink and a smile, and eying his pot of coins. A busboy wipes a table
behind the waitress, snatching a twenty from her cash caddy. In the
background, a man in a suit preys on a pretty waitress while sipping a
drink in the lounge.
The scene is my rendition of the casino subculture—what I've been
calling Casino Real World. Security guards the house's money, but not
the people within. The powerful prey on the weak or clueless and
everyone's out for themselves.
The sound of pipes rumbling from below the house erupts as I finish
my sketch. Gen's finally up and in the shower. She said on our way
home last night that she and Jaeger were going out around lunchtime
and it's already eleven-thirty.
Not two minutes after the pipes start their noisy caterwauling, the
doorbell rings. "Gen! Door!" I yell.
The last thing I want is to see Gen leaving with Jaeger. If they want to
date and make babies, fine, but I don't need to be a witness.
The doorbell rings again, followed by a couple of firm knocks. I lean
back and pull the screen door open. The water's still whining through
the pipes.
Shit. I hobble off my lounge chair and walk to the front. Jaeger's silver
truck is visible through the living room window. I take a deep breath
and calmly open the door, plastering on a bland expression.
Jaeger's wearing a red baseball cap and a navy T-shirt, his shoulder
muscles bulging from the way he hunches to get his hands tucked
inside the pockets of his jeans.
I swallow hard. Why does he have to look so good? The aftershave

he wears mixed with fabric softener and something unique to him wafts
toward me, and I want to tongue his neck. Damn him. I take a step
back. Everything about this situation is just cruel.
He leans on the doorjamb, eyes blatantly running the length of me
before resting on the pad in my hand.
"Come in." My tone is terse, but whatever. I'm doing my best here. I
toss the pad on the couch and walk to the bathroom door. The shower is
finally off. "Gen! Jaeger's here."
When I turn around, Jaeger is staring at my sketch. I sweep over and
pick it up, tucking it under my arm.
He looks me dead in the eye as if this, too, I've kept from him. "Nice
drawing."
"It's nothing. Doodles. So—" I'd better say it before I'm too angry to.
"—I wanted to thank you for helping out last night. Gen's ex is a jerk. I
didn't want him bothering her." I pause for a second, deciding how
much of my feelings to reveal. "You were very convincing."
Jaeger's eyes narrow and he scans my face.
I duck my head and tuck my hair behind my ear. I shouldn't have said
that. Sliding the pad face-down on the kitchen counter, I shift loose
papers around while we wait for Gen.
I always answer the door in my bikini top and it's never bothered me
before, but it does today. I should have put on a shirt, I think, adjusting
the strings along my ribs. When I look up, Jaeger's following the trail of
my fingers. He quickly looks away.
This is awkward. "Want something to drink?"
He shakes his head and sinks onto the couch. Gen walks out of the
bathroom in shorts and a T-shirt. She hurries into the bedroom, her wet
hair dampening the back of her top. "Be ready in a minute," she says,
smiling prettily at Jaeger as she passes.
A few seconds of uncomfortable silence later, Gen pops back into the
living room, hopping on one foot and fastening her flats, a small purse
dangling across her chest. "Ready. Sorry to make you wait."
Jaeger rises and moves to the door, opening it for her. He follows her
out. "See you later, Cali."
This is it. The defining moment when Jaeger goes from being an

available guy to off-limits forever.
"Good-bye," I say, but they've already left.
Instead of staring at the front door, waiting for Gen to return in order to
interrogate her about her date with the guy I have a crush on, I check
email. Two messages have arrived from Harvard Law, one with
information on orientation, the other on financial aid.
It almost makes me angry how much the program will cost. I've
considered deferring for a year, though that's almost more painful. Like
dragging out the inevitable. I never considered the money until this
summer, working full-time for the first time in my life. The tuition isn't
a problem for the trust fund kids, but it is for me. Maybe I shouldn't
have ruled out the less expensive programs. But that doesn't feel right
either.
Law school is everything I've worked for, but lately it feels like
someone else's dream. The cost to attend would probably seem worth it
if the program were something I felt passionate about. My mom used to
joke about Tyler and me becoming lawyers and doctors, but really, she
didn' t care what we became, as long as we made something of our
lives. Tyler was the science geek, while I latched onto the idea of
arguing for a living. That was a good enough reason ten years ago.
Now, with a future in law staring me in the eye, I'm having
second—and third—and fourth—thoughts.
My head's messed up. I'm so confused and emotionally wrung out I
don't know which way is up. I shut off the computer, change my
clothes, and grab the keys to Gen's car. It won't help my mood to be
here when they return.
I search the fridge and jot down a list of groceries we need. Before I
head to the store, I stop by the bank to deposit my tips, which consist of
a hell of a lot of singles. Most of my tips come in the form of chips, but
there are purists who give cash. According to the bank teller, I'm either
working at the casinos or I'm a stripper. I'm keeping her guessing.
A farmer's market is going on in the bank lot, so I park across the street.
As I exit my car, a man in crew sandals, beige shorts, and sunglasses
exits a motel nearby with a woman I recognize from the casino. She's
the sweet waitress who was crushing on the cashier.

Head down, she walks out of the motel room without a backward
glance at the man. There's a swagger in the man's step that's missing
from the woman's rapid departure.
I stare until they're gone, because the scene bothers me. The waitress
looked seriously upset. Obviously, she and this guy are having some
sort of liaison. What's disturbing, aside from the fact that the woman
didn't look happy, is that I think the guy is one of the executives from
the casino who trolls Gen's lounge.
I shake my head. I have too much to worry about without piling on
creepy Casino Real World drama.
The errands take less time than I anticipated and I return to the house
early—just as Gen exits Jaeger's truck.
My timing sucks.
Jaeger walks around the hood and nods. "Cali," he says, a happy little
smile curling his mouth. He walks with Gen toward the front door, but
reaches over as he passes and grabs one of the large grocery bags from
my arms. "Let me get that." He relieves me of the second bag as well.
"Okaaay. " I should be grateful for the help, but Jaeger looks too
pleased after his date with my best friend and I'm trying extremely hard
not to be jealous.
It' s not working.
I follow them inside the cabin and Jaeger sets the groceries on the
counter.
Gen and Jaeger look at me and then at each other, a secret message
passing between them. Gen grins warmly up at Jaeger, and that's all I
need to see.
"I'll leave you two alone," I say and cross to the back door. I want to be
anywhere but watching the two of them say their lovey good-byes.
"I'll see you later, Gen," I hear Jaeger say as I open the back door and
step onto the patio.
Gen joins me seconds later. "Hey." There's a quiver in her voice that
only comes out when she's nervous. "What have you been up to?"
What have I been up to? I' m fucking dying, trying to keep busy because
you' re with the guy I want to kiss and make out with and glue

myself to!
I wave toward the bags of groceries warming on the kitchen counter.
"Errands."
Gen sits in the lounge beside me and pulls up her knees, feet flat on the
plastic chaise.
"How about you. How was your date?"
She looks over nervously. "Fine. It wasn't a date, though. We were just
getting together. He wanted to show me something."
I'm sure he did. She doesn't elaborate and I'm feeling too stubborn to
ask for more information.
"Cali, I was wondering—can I have that sketch you did today?"
What? That's what she's thinking about? We are seriously in two
different worlds right now. In fact, there's a deep chasm in our
friendship that I'm responsible for. If I hadn't dragged Gen to Lake
Tahoe this summer, none of this would have happened. Eric and I
probably would have broken up, but at least I wouldn't be in a love
triangle with my best friend.
"Why?" I ask, because the request seems odd under the circumstances.
There's no way Gen can't feel the strain in our friendship. Or maybe,
because I'm the one who caused the problem, I'm the only one who
knows it exists. I never 'fessed up to my feelings for Jaeger. I've been
too busy denying them.
She brushes nonexistent dirt off her shorts. "I don't know. I just
liked it."
"Sure, Gen," I say harshly, rising as I do. I'm taking out my anger on
her and she doesn't deserve it, but I can't help myself. "Have whatever
of mine you want." I walk inside the house, grab the pad, and toss it on
her lap.
Her lips part, her expression shocked.
I don't say anything. I don't put away the groceries. I simply walk out
the front door and leave.

Chapter Twelve
I apologized to Gen for going off on her—after I spent three hours
throwing hand-sized rocks into the lake. My arm was sore for two days
after that. I told Gen I'd had a bad day, and though she inquired as to the
cause, she didn't insist I elaborate when I made it obvious through
avoidance tactics that I didn't want to discuss it. Not my most mature
moment, but what else could I do?
Gen said her afternoon with Jaeger wasn't a date, but why would Jaeger
ask her out if he wasn't interested? And he seemed so happy afterward.
I'm not convinced there isn't something there. I can't tell her how I feel
about Jaeger until I know nothing is between them. I won't put her in an
uncomfortable position.
Jaeger has come into the casino a couple of times this week to visit
Mason since his non-date with Gen. Each time, he's kept to Mason's
bar, which gives credence to Gen's assertion that they're not dating,
though she is busy at work. And every time he's around, my heart
quickens and my body heats. No matter what I tell myself—that it
won't work out, I screwed things up and he's not interested—my body's
visceral response doesn't care. It's infuriating.
I just got out of a relationship; I should be going all introspective and
loner. At the very least, deciding whether or not to follow through with
grad school. Instead, I'm conflicted about school and thinking clearly
about the kind of guy I want in my life.
Eric was good looking, but shallow and—I realize now—selfish. Why
I think Mr. Totem Pole Carver is any better is beyond me, but there's
something about him that's deep and a little scarred. Like he's been
through shit and come out on the right side. This, in addition to the fact
that puddles of drool form in my mouth whenever I look at him, and I'
m drawn—even though he may be dating my best friend. Maybe
they're not dating—yet—but she could like him. I never told Gen how I
felt about Jaeger. Nope, I pushed him right in her path. It's a freaking
mess.
This evening, Jaeger's been in Gen's lounge for the last hour with

an attractive, slightly older woman with long dark hair and a petite
figure. At first, I thought she was one of his mom's friends by the way
they greeted each other—cordially, but with familiarity. She's dressed
in a black sheath dress with diamonds the size of pebbles in her ears.
She's younger than his parents, but her expensive attire fits his parents'
upper economic bracket. The more I observe, though, the less certain I
am that they're only friends.
A man in dress slacks and a polo shirt passes my table and walks up the
stairs into the lounge to Jaeger and the woman. The pretty brunette
places a proprietary hand on Jaeger's arm and introduces the two men.
I' m ready to gouge her eyes out.
I glance at Gen, who laughs at something her customer says. She's not
paying attention to the Jaeger tableau, and I can't understand it. I'd like
to detach the roulette table and mow the lady down like a bowling pin
and Gen's all casual, easygoing. What the eff?
Jaeger shakes the man's hand and offers him a card.
He carries business cards? For his totem poles?
Jaeger is dressed in dark slacks and a white collared shirt, the top
button undone and revealing the edge of a white undershirt. I've never
seen him dressed up and the image disturbs me. His wide shoulders
strain the fabric along his chest, highlighting muscles while still
looking professional. He makes weathered jeans and T-shirts
unbelievably hot, but dressed up, he's like GQ photo-spread man
candy.
The woman he's with seems too old for him, but I have to admit they
look good together, and it's eating me up inside. The only positive I can
think of at the moment is that Gen and I get off early tonight and our
shift is about to end.
A cluster of new dealers approaches the pit and I finish my round.
Before heading to the basement, I walk over to Gen. "You almost off?"
I don' t glance at Jaeger, seated in the corner.
Gen piles four shots of bright green liquid on her tray. "In a
minute—just need to deliver these. You still up for the club?"
In spite of a herculean effort, my gaze strays toward Jaeger. The
business associate has left and the woman has her fingers on Jaeger's

forearm, using his body for support while she leans in to tell him
something. "Yes. I need—something."
Gen's eyes widen in approval. "I'm so happy you aren't letting things
with Eric get you down." She charges off and passes out the last of her
drinks, closing tabs.
Eric? Nope, not thinking about Eric—a testament to the tenuous
connection we shared and proof it wasn't meant to last.
Gen returns to the bar and wipes her tray. "You sure you don't mind if
Nessa joins us?"
"No," I say absently. "Hey—" I shrug my shoulder in Jaeger's direction.
"That doesn't bother you?"
Gen glances over. "What, Jaeger and that woman? Why would it?"
"I thought you guys were, you know, hanging out."
Gen hands a stack of dollar bills to the bartender. Waitresses give
bartenders a percentage of their tips at the end of the shift. Her gaze
flutters to me and her shoulders tense as though she's uncomfortable.
"We're friends."
Gen and I have never kept secrets from one another, but lately there's
an entire ocean of hidden truths. I'm not ready or willing to disclose
mine, and I've sensed for a while that she's keeping things from me too.
For some reason, this doesn't bother me as much as it should. I don't
know what revealing the truth would do to our friendship, and I'm not
ready to find out.
Gen and I change in the Blue basement, where we discover Nessa has
invited someone else to our girls' night. Lewis's beautiful girlfriend,
Mira, will be joining us.
This should be interesting.
I'm wearing heels, skinny jeans, and a blousy, low-cut tank. Gen's in
slim jeans, as well, but her top is less revealing. Her boobs are bigger
than mine, but she refuses to display them to full advantage.
The only way to get to the Blue nightclub is by passing the lounge. I tell
myself I won't peek, but of course I do. Jaeger is still sitting with the
pretty woman, only now his head is bowed toward her and she's leaning
on his arm, speaking into his ear.
I clench my fist, nails grinding into my palm. He hasn't once

acknowledged me or Gen this evening. I wouldn't have pegged Jaeger
for a player, but flirting with me, taking Gen out, and now hooking-up
with an older woman? What the hell?
Screw him! I'm single. I'm going out and having fun.
We walk inside the club, the steady pulse of dance music washing over
me in a wonderfully distracting way. The only thing that could make
the vision of Jaeger and the woman sliming on him less vivid would be
a shot of Cuervo, or Patron if I'm in the mood to pamper myself, which
I damn well am.
Fortunately, I'm with three attractive women. It doesn't take long
before men start buying us drinks. Mira may be hostile, but she's
unbelievably beautiful and luring all kinds of attention to our booth.
Before I know it, I've downed five shots. A warm numbness settles
over my limbs.
I slide from my seat. "Going dancing. Anyone wanna come?"
Gen shakes her head, posture slumped, eyelids drooping. She's well
past tipsy and teetering on hammered.
It's safe to say I'm not the most conventional female, but Gen is, and
seeing her drunk is funny as hell. I pull out my iPhone and snap a
picture.
Her mouth parts in slow motion. "Heyyy! "
Before she makes a grab for my phone to purge the awesome photo I
caught of her drunk off her ass, I swagger away, swinging my hips to
the music.
I don't care that I'm on the dance floor by myself, arms waving in the air
like a lunatic. I could be making a perfect idiot of myself, but all that
matters is that I don't feel anything.
Not a damn thing.
No humiliation over the way Eric dumped me, no fear about the future,
not even the jumble of emotions Jaeger elicits.
A new song transitions from the last and I shut my eyes, moving to the
rhythm. Within seconds my balance wavers and I blink, throwing out
my arms. I search for a visual horizon above the bodies to stop the
spinning. My gaze lands on the wide, overcrowded bar off to the side.
A tall blonde in a red dress looks over and our gazes connect. She looks
an

awful lot like Jaeger's sister.
I slam my eyes shut and twist around. When I open them, the Kerstin
lookalike is gone, but so is my balance. I stumble to the side like a child
in high heels. A pair of arms brackets me from behind.
I swivel my head up and around. I'm pretty sure the guy supporting me
is attractive, but the dance floor is dark, with blue and purple flashing
lights. Given the heavy buzz I have going on, I could be totally off base.
Then again, what has good-looking ever gotten me?
He smiles and slides his arms down to my waist. I spin around and
drape my hands behind his neck. He immediately pulls me close until
our hips grind, the scent of heavy cologne and perspiration choking me
as we sway to the music. Dampness seeps through his shirt and onto my
fingers, and though he doesn't smell bad, he doesn't smell appealing.
Without waiting for the song to end, I slip from his grasp and push
through the crowd to the nearest exit off the dance floor. Where I end
up is a different part of the club entirely, filled with lounge-style sofas
and small square tables. Did I enter a different room?
I glance around, searching for my friends, and recognize a different
person. Seated at the table in front of me is one of the executives who
hangs out after work watching Gen in the lounge. One of the trollers.
He and the buddy he often hangs with look alike from the distance
between there and the blackjack table. I can't tell if this is the guy I saw
leaving the motel with the waitress or if it's the other one. They both
have businesslike short hair and symmetrical features. The only reason
I can distinguish either of them from a million other preppy
professionals is because they're young for casino executives, and they
each wear Blue insignia rings.
I' ve only seen a few executives in possession of the Blue rings. Zach,
the dealer who's friends with Nessa, filled me in on Blue protocol and
how management receives thick gold bands with sapphires for
exemplary performance. The two trollers wear them, and that's how I
recognized one of them at the motel, despite his casual attire at the
time.
I' m buzzed and frustrated, and tired of preying men. I walk over. "Hey,
you're the guy who's been checking out my friend."
The man makes a slow perusal of me, his attention landing on my

chest. "And now I'm looking at you." His mouth kicks up at the side in
a charming smile that must hit the mark with the ladies more often than
not. "I've seen you around as well. What's your name, pretty girl?"
He's sleazy, but his smile comes across as guileless. And he called me
pretty. The attention is appreciated, a simple acknowledgement that I
matter in the world.
I' ll regret this tomorrow, but for now, I' m as big a sucker for flattery as
any other lonely female. Besides, I can handle his type. "Cali."
"Cali, I'm Drake." His eyes narrow as if he's trying to figure me out, or
maybe it's because I'm swaying. "Would you like to join me?"
Drake, the lounge-trolling executive, is pretty attractive up close, with
dark hair and whiskey-brown eyes. I'd put him in his upper twenties.
He's polished and smooth in his tailored shirt and pants. Different from
the guys I've dated. More mature. Worldly. A vision of Jaeger in his
GQ gear flashes like a strobe in my mind. But Jaeger and I have never
dated, so he doesn't count. I clench my fists.
"You look like you could use a drink," he says.
A good point. I don't need a drink, but I could use one.
I sit and Drake flags the waitress. "What would you like?"
I tell him my order and it arrives in record time. Given my level of
inebriation, which becomes more apparent with every attempt at
normal activity, like, say, walking, I sip my cocktail and order water.
Drinking is all fun and games until there's puking involved. Water
helps prevent the casualty. I'm buzzed and unable to think too deeply.
That's enough.
Drake asks me questions about my job at the casino and how I like
living in Lake Tahoe. I follow the flow of conversation until the topic
of summer excursions comes up and I happen to mention the fishing
trip.
Drake's hand squeezes my shoulder from the back of my seat.
"Cali, are you all right?"
I look up and blink. Images of Jaeger in the boat, talking dirty fishing
talk, leads to the most recent image I can't get out of my head—of him
with the older woman clinging to him like a barnacle. "Yes—" I
swallow the bitter flavor in my mouth. "Fine." My smile falters.
Drake doesn't smile back, though his expression remains kind.

"Would you like to leave?"
Leave? Escape the casino and Jaeger ... I nod eagerly.

Chapter Thirteen
Rational thoughts move like sludge, while a fast forward of
Jaegerathon plays in Technicolor inside my head. Drake gestures to a
back door. "Shall we?"
I follow him numbly from the club. He's been kind. Maybe I misjudged
him. He could simply be as lonely as the rest of us, sitting in Gen's
lounge, searching for someone special to come along.
It' s not until the door to the club closes and cool air nips my arms that I
realize I can't leave without Gen. And that maybe leaving with
someone I've just met isn't such a great idea.
"Wait." I stop and look around, my heartbeat quickening. I don't
recognize this part of the parking lot. "I came here with friends. We
have to go back." I reach for the door handle, but it's locked from the
inside.
"They keep these locked. We'll have to go in through the casino."
And see Jaeger with his cougar? No, thank you. I wrap my arms around
my middle, shivers vibrating my spine.
At my hesitation, Drake slips his jacket over my shoulders. "Do you
have a phone?"
I left my purse with Gen, but my phone is in my back pocket. I pull
it out.
"You can contact them from here and tell them I'm taking you home, or
we can walk inside. It's up to you."
The slow cog that is my brain on alcohol filters this information,
processing a slight sense of unease in the pit of my belly. Probably not
the best idea to go home with a guy I would have been leery of before
tonight. But the lights are bright in the parking lot, providing a sense of
security. I have no desire to walk past Jaeger with his woman.
It's a short drive to my place. I could call a taxi, but Drake's right here.
And besides, I don't have my purse and money. Drake works for the
casino as an executive—recognized for stellar performance, no less.
How dangerous could he be?
I shoot Gen a text.

Cali: I left the bar. Getting a ride from a coworker. Please bring my
purse when you leave. See you back at our place. Get some digits, will
you!
I don't wait for her response. If she worries about me, she'll check her
phone.
Drake leads me to a dark sports car. I have no idea of the make—that
kind of detail is beyond my cognitive ability at the moment.
He opens the passenger door and I ease onto tan leather seats, slipping
off his jacket and draping it over the center console.
"Where do you live?" he asks from the driver's side.
Another internal twinge hits me, as if beneath the alcohol haze,
common sense lies in wait. I don't like the idea of giving a stranger my
address, but I really want to go home. Besides, he works at the casino.
If he wanted my address, he could look it up. I smother my worries and
give him the information. He programs it into his GPS and we head out.
Within minutes, we pull into my driveway. I hop out of the car and
Drake does too. Maybe he's walking me to the door? I slip behind the
fence where we hide the spare key. When I return, Drake's waiting on
the darkened doorstep.
Gen and I forgot to turn on the porch light before we left. This wouldn't
be a big deal, except that having the lights off sets a certain romantic
mood I'd rather not encourage.
"Thank you for the ride. Sorry about zoning out at the club. I guess I' m
more tired than I thought."
Drake sidles closer, resting his hand lightly on my hip. He flashes his
charming smile. "How about a short visit?"
I step back, my shoulders brushing the door. "Not tonight. Another
time, maybe?"
He nods slowly. I can't see his eyes clearly in the dark, but I sense
calculations going on behind the pregnant pause. "A kiss good-night,
then?"
He leans forward and my hands flash to his chest, urging him back. "I
don't—"

Drake dips his head, my arms no barrier when he's half a foot taller. His
mouth closes on mine even as I'm pushing him away. He doesn't seem
to notice, or care, since he's too busy grabbing my neck and angling his
tongue inside my mouth.
Every danger instinct goes off. My brain moves in rapid fire,
registering each breath, a rough hand grabbing my wrist, pinning it
behind me in a gesture meant to be sexy or an assault—I'm not sure
which. Either way, it's unwelcome. Drake's body urges me flush with
the door. The only sounds are the shifting of our feet, and the smacking
of Drake's rough mouth amid the struggle for control.
A fine sweat breaks out along my back despite the evening chill. Rapid
footsteps penetrate the panic surging through my body.
"Off! " a deep, familiar voice shouts a second before Drake is ripped
from me. I step away from the door, my arms shaking from the effort of
pushing at him.
Jaeger stands between us, his back to me. I have no idea how he got
here, or why he's here. But the relief is unimaginable.
"Is there a problem?" Drake casually shifts his collar forward. Jaeger
must have wrenched it when he grabbed him.
Drake saunters closer, careful to remain clear of Jaeger. "The lady
came home with me. I don't see how this is any of your business."
"It's her home and she asked you to leave," Jaeger says. "Get. The fuck.
Out! " He steps back and drapes a long arm over my shoulders, pulling
me close. My heart slows, my breathing calms.
The threat in Jaeger's voice stuns me, but my body instinctively curls
into his. Frankly, I'm surprised anyone can garner this kind of response
from Jaeger. He's the gentle giant. But Jesus, is he scary when he' s
mad.
"Cali—" Drake steps to the side and grabs my wrist, tugging me.
I twist my arm away. Does the man have a death wish? Or is he just so
arrogant he thinks a guy twice his size can't touch him? "Please leave,"
I tell Drake.
His jaw clenches as if he's refusing to give up a toy.
Jaeger lets out an angry sigh, pushes me behind him—what the
hell?—and punches Drake in the face. Holy shit!

Drake lands on the ground, rolling, grasping the front of his face.
There's no blood, but that has to have hurt.
Jaeger leans over him. "Do. Not. Touch. Her. That was a warning tap.
The next one won't be."
Drake hastily rises and brushes the powdery Tahoe soil off his trousers.
He glares at me. "Not what I had in mind for tonight," he says and
stalks away. He fires up his car and tears out of the driveway in a spray
of pebbles and pine needles.
Jaeger tilts up my chin with his finger, searching my face. "Are you
okay?"
I nod, wondering what in the hell just happened. "What are you doing
here?" Drake's car rounds the corner at the end of my street, his
taillights disappearing. "How did you know . ?"
Jaeger rubs a hand down his face and lets out a tense breath. "Kerstin.
She told me you looked drunk and left with some guy from the club."
His face contorts. "What were you thinking, Cali?"
This side of Jaeger, the angry, protective side, is something I've never
seen before, and it's totally hot—not that I wish to ignite it unduly.
I wasn't thinking when I left with Drake. In fact, I purposely tried not to
think. About Jaeger. But that's not something I'll tell him. "I made a
mistake."
"You made a mistake? You—" Jaeger steps to the side and runs his
fingers through his short hair. "Do you understand what that—that
psychotic asshole could have done?"
Yeah, I kinda do, and I' m trying not to imagine it. The last half hour
has sobered me up.
I rub my eyes and move to the front door, unlock it and walk inside, my
fingers and arms still trembling. Jaeger lingers on the threshold. "You
can come in," I tell him.
I fill a glass of water in the kitchen and offer him one, but he shakes his
head.
"I'm sorry for yelling." He lets out another strained breath. "But you
can't go home with people you don't know. Matter of fact, don't go
home with anyone unless it's a friend."
I spin around. It was stupid to go home with Drake and I learned a

painful lesson tonight, but where does Jaeger get off telling me what to
do? "What about you? Did you take your lady friend home before you
came here? It s okay for you to leave with some random person, but not
me?"
"I m not a hundred-pound female," he growls. "He could have hurt you,
Cali."
Before I dated Eric, I d left parties a time or two with guys I had just
met. But in those cases, I knew the guy s fraternity brothers, or we had
friends in common. There were dangers in college, sure, but we lived in
a bubble where people knew each other. The risks were lower.
I ignored my instincts tonight and treated Drake like I would a guy
from school. It was foolish and dangerous, but that doesn t give Jaeger
the right to treat me like a child. "I said I made a mistake. I don t recall
having a second big brother. Why did you follow me, anyway?"
Jaeger sits in the center of the couch, taking up two-thirds of it, his legs
spread wide the way guys do because they don t wear skirts or feel the
need to hide their private parts. He leans his head against the wall
behind the cushions and stares at the ceiling. "I thought the guy could
be bad news."
I look around searchingly. "And you knew this how?" He glares at me.
"He s a guy and you d been drinking. I wasn t taking chances."
My brows furrow. Jaeger s earlier behavior was rather heated for
someone I m casually friends with, like he was taking things
personally. Why the hell would he leave his date to follow me home on
the off chance Drake was a serial killer?
"What about your lady friend?"
"Client. She's a client, Cali."
I raise my brows. "She s pretty handsy for a client. Do all clients feel
you up?"
A vee forms between his brows. He sits forward and grabs my waist,
pulling me between his knees until I have no choice but to shift and sit
on his leg or fall into his chest. I choose the leg, slowly sliding off onto
the couch beside him, my legs dangling over his lap. His arm braces me
from behind. "You scared the shit out of me tonight." His green eyes

are intense and worried.
"I m sorry," I say, surprised.
Jaeger presses my face to his chest, cradling my head. "Promise me
you'll never do anything like that again."
I ll promise him anything, as long as he keeps holding me like this. "I
won t. Totally stupid," I mumble, nuzzling his shirt and breathing in his
clean scent.
Jaeger leans back and our eyes meet for a long moment. The intensity
makes my breath quicken. He lowers his head infinitely slowly until a
puff of air from his nose tickles my skin. His lips graze mine, a delicate
touch that is the total opposite of Drake s mauling. Jaeger s gentleness
speaks of heat and longing, and something deeper I can t put my finger
on. But I want it.
If I thought the attraction between us was intense, the electricity his lips
generate is coiled, sizzling need. My fingers clutch his shirt. This is
what I've craved. All night, all week—since we first met.
Jaeger pulls back, keeping an inch of space between us. His breaths fan
my chin, thumb rubbing circles along my hairline. "Is this okay?
After—"
I lean up and fasten my mouth to his in answer. Whether I acknowledge
it to myself or not, I ve been waiting for this kiss for weeks.
His fingers slide into my hair, angling my head for better access, and I
m drowning. My belly tightens, body arching toward him. I wrap my
arms around his broad back and pull him close until we fall backward
onto the cushions with him on top.
His weight feels amazing. Not crushing or forced, but just enough to
fire more need. I m a sea of sensation and all we re doing is kissing. My
legs squeeze his hips, drawing him closer.
A short, guttural moan escapes his mouth and his hand drifts from my
hair, down my throat, to my chest, wrapping around my breast. He
pulls his mouth away and runs kisses along my chin and neck. "Cali,"
he whispers, cupping my breast and rubbing his thumb over my nipple.
It s not until he says my name again that the lust clears enough to
register that he s attempting to communicate with something other than

body talk. I look into his eyes.
"When is Gen getting back?" he says. Wha ...? Gen? Shit.
Panic spears my gut, and not because I'm worried Gen will walk in on
us, though she could. I forgot all about Gen and Jaeger and the
possibility that something exists between them. After all the
encouragement I ve given Gen to get back out there, here I am making
out with a guy she may like. The worst part is, I pushed Jaeger and Gen
together.
What am I doing? I squirm out from beneath him, my anger piqued at
myself and the idea that Jaeger could be playing me. I have to find out
what is going on between them. Gen is my best friend.
I swallow and attempt to gather the rest of my brain that scattered the
minute Jaeger loomed over me with his large, heated body. "I don t
know, but she was pretty drunk when I left. She ll probably be home
soon." What a night this has been.
"Maybe I should leave." He stands and adjusts his pants, which I realize
now house a very large, impressive bulge. I glance away.
If I ask Jaeger about Gen, I'm not sure I'll be able to tell truth from lie.
The subject needs to be addressed soberly, when I m not reacting
passionately to my protector. "That s probably a good idea."

Chapter Fourteen
This morning my head feels like I thrashed it against a sharp boulder a
few thousand times, but I've held back the queasies thanks to a few
green olives and dry toast. Gen, however, has not fared as well. She s in
the bathroom puking her guts out.
"You okay in there?"
She doesn t answer, so I open the door a crack and check on her. She s
hugging the bowl, her cheek affixed to the rim. I open the door wide.
"You don t look good. Do you want me to take you to Urgent
Care?"
"No," she says without moving. "Just need quiet time with the
toilet."
I grab two washcloths from the cupboard and soak them in cold water. I
drape one across the back of her neck. Gen moans. "Feels good."
"Here." I hand her the other. Her arm wavers unsteadily in the air. I
grab her fingers and direct them to the cloth.
I keep a close eye on her for the rest of the day, and by evening she s
eating. I don t bother asking how her night went. I m pretty sure she
won't remember, and to bring it up might encourage questions about
mine. I don t want to go there. Not until I m sure I ve not encroached
somewhere I shouldn't have.
Holy crap. The full force of what could have happened with Drake if
Jaeger hadn t shown up hit me this morning. I will never do anything
like that again. And afterward, with Jaeger? Clearly, I was not thinking.
I was feeling, and allowing it to control my actions. If there's something
going on between Jaeger and Gen, I could be the other woman this
time. Gen can barely trust as it is after the last A-hole played her. The
level of betrayal in this situation would be so much worse.
Gen and I spend the evening recovering from our hangovers with an
eighties chick-flick movie marathon. While Gen watches Mystic Pizza
with a pre-Hollywood, fuller-figured Julia Roberts, I attempt to figure
out when and how to mention Jaeger, because the only way to resolve

my problem is to find out the truth about them.
I asked Gen about Jaeger once and she denied a connection, while her
eyes told a different story. I m not sure why she d keep her feelings
about him—or any guy—a secret, unless she was waiting until the
relationship was on solid ground. Given her last relationship debacle,
that would make sense, but that type of tight-lipped attitude doesn t
help me.
It s a delicate situation. I can t tell Gen about Drake without lying about
Jaeger s involvement. And I can t tell her about Jaeger without letting
on that I have feelings for him, which could set off a friendship bomb.
The next day, I approach the seamstress counter at work scratching my
arms. I haven t figured out a solution to the communication roadblock,
and all this nervous energy is giving me hives.
"Sorry, honey," the attendant says to me after Gen leaves for her locker.
"Boss says you need to visit the supervisor. Elevators off the lobby,
second floor. They'll direct you from there."
That s weird. I ve only interacted with the head dealer and a pit boss
who manages new trainees. I ve never gone upstairs to the big
guns—the people observing Casino Real World through stealthy
security cameras.
There s no time to tell Gen where I m headed—I ll be late for my shift.
I nod to the attendant and jog up the stairs to the casino floor and the
wall of elevators off the lobby.
The second floor of the building could not look more different from the
rest of the casino. A section of cubicles takes up a good portion of the
space, which is so institutional and wrong compared to the high-end
décor of the gaming and customer areas, yet an upgrade from the
yellowing paint and metal lockers of the basement. Offices line three
sides of the floor, with one large double door labeled Security in the
center of an entire wall.
"I m Cali Morgan," I tell the receptionist. "The seamstress asked me to
come here."
The receptionist drums bright red nails and tucks a lock of wavy,
shoulder-length hair behind her ear. The nails disappear into layers of

reddish-purple locks that under no circumstances came from nature.
Those nails flash back out and pluck a sticky note from the desk. "Right
this way."
I follow the receptionist down the hall. Her heavy eye makeup and hair
are casino glam, but the modest skirt and blouse she wears keep her
respectable. I m going to take a wild guess and say she worked the
casino floor at some point.
We pass the security area and come to a different hallway lined with
offices spread farther apart. The receptionist knocks on a door with
Robert Middleton, Gaming on a metal plaque to the side and we enter.
Inside, a man of middling years with sandy blond hair and a dimple in
his chin taps a few last keystrokes on his computer. "Thank you." He
nods to the receptionist and she closes the door behind her.
I have a strange feeling about this.
What could I have done wrong or right to land me here? I m not the
fastest dealer, but no one has complained so far. I haven t miscounted,
which is more than I can say for other new dealers. If miscounting or
botching a riffle shuffle were cause for dismissal, half the summer
dealers would have been axed.
Robert Middleton stands halfway and gestures to a chair. "You must be
Calista. Have a seat, please." I never go by my full name, but I don't
correct him. Something in his voice tells me this is serious.
He sits down in his wide leather chair, a large picture window looking
over the mountains and lake in the background. Blood rushes through
my veins, pulse pounding at my throat. This guy is big time.
Leaning on his forearms, Robert Middleton steeples his fingers. His
jacket is off, but he s wearing a white dress shirt and a striped taupe
business tie so tight the skin at his neck folds above the collar. "I ll get
right to the point. We're going to have to let you go."
My jaw drops, eyes unblinking. What?
I mean, that thought occurred to me, given where I am, but I didn t
actually think it possible. I ve never in my life received anything less
than an A-minus, let alone been fired from an internship or work
position. "I don't understand."
"It s very simple. You are here as a summer employee. We have a

probationary period of three months for all employees. If at any point
during those three months we feel the collaboration isn t a good fit, the
casino may terminate without cause. It s been brought to my attention
that your conduct does not fit our culture and that you would do better
somewhere else."
His poker face is perfect. I get nothing from his expression. "What
conduct are you referring to? I m not trying to be argumentative, I just
don't understand what I've done that would warrant this."
"I d rather not go into specifics, nor am I obligated to. Your termination
is effective immediately." He stands and walks around his desk,
gesturing to the door, a waft of spicy aftershave making my stomach
roll. "Please return to the front desk. The receptionist has a packet of
closing forms for you to fill out."
Somehow I manage to rise, my legs shaking like crazy. Robert
Middleton holds out his hand. I stare at it for a moment, then snap out
of my daze. His handshake is firm and decisive. "Best of luck to you,
Ms. Morgan."
This cannot be happening. How is this happening?
My throat goes dry, and tears burn the backs of my eyes, but I walk to
the receptionist desk and the violet-haired woman.
When I finish filling out forms, I step inside the elevator escorted by
one of the security guards—as if I were a felon. The receptionist said
the security guard is customary, but I've never felt so low in my life.
The guard promenades me across the casino floor, past Gen handing
out drinks in the lounge. She doesn t see me, but Mason does. He
glances up from his bar in confusion.
I know the feeling. I swallow and keep walking, mortified. They told
me not to talk to anyone, and the last thing I want is to announce what s
happening.
After the guard leaves me in the parking garage, the tears I held back
spill down my cheeks. I shuffle, shocked and in a daze, toward Gen s
car, then halt.
Shit.
Gen has the keys and the receptionist said I couldn t return before

tomorrow, when my employment status would be announced.
I walk to the edge of the garage overlooking the fields of cars below
and lean my head on the cold metal bars. What am I going to do? I
needed this job for school. My savings from this summer would only
cover a fraction of the costs of my first year, but still. I'll have to request
more loans, which may take my entire life to pay off. I ll be a well-paid
corporate slave.
Opportunities like Harvard Law don t come around every day. I should
be grateful. And yet, I m not. It doesn t feel like a dream, it feels like a
burden.

Chapter Fifteen
I m sitting in my favorite spot in the backyard on the lounge chair,
where I ve been for the last half hour staring at the trees. I didn t bother
removing the purse from my arm. It seemed like a lot of work. I can t
wrap my head around the fact that I just got fired. It makes no sense.
A vibration zings my ribs where my purse rests. I reach inside and
grab it. "Hello?"
"Cali, are you okay?" Gen's voice sounds high-pitched and panicked.
"Mason said you left the casino escorted by a security guard."
"Yup," I choke. The rain of tears has dissipated, but my voice hasn't
fully recovered.
"What happened? Where are you?"
"Home. I took a taxi." I gulp a deep breath and rub my nose, which is
likely bright red from all the crying. "I was fired."
"What? Why?"
I'm about to say I don't know when a memory of the other night pops
into my head. No. He wouldn't ... would he? Drake was pissed when he
left. Pissed enough to take revenge?
"I—I don t know."
"This is crazy, Cali. You can t get fired. You haven t done anything
wrong."
I filter through the events of my last night of work, and the time I spent
at the club. Had I done something employees shouldn t? The casino
gives drink tokens to employees at the end of every work week, to be
used at Blue bars. Administration has no problem with drinking and
gambling at their facility. They d probably be happy if we blew our
entire paycheck on the house.
I drank and danced, which is no big deal. The thing that is a big deal
was getting a ride from Drake and Jaeger punching him, an executive of
Blue. Would Drake take that out on me? In this way? Male pride makes
men do stupid things. I sure as hell don t know Drake well enough to
say he wouldn t have had me fired. He proved himself a jerk, possibly
worse. Jesus.

And I can t tell Gen any of this, because I haven t told her about Drake
and Jaeger and what happened that night. "Supposedly employees are
provisional the first three months. The casino doesn t need a reason to
release me. The head of Gaming said—"
"You spoke to someone upstairs? They never bother with us."
"Yeah, well, this guy did. He said I don't fit the casino culture."
"Are you kidding me? You re a genius, soon-to-be Harvard Law
student. Not to mention, classy and beautiful. What are they looking
for? Dropouts with bedhead and poor manners?"
Hmm, interesting theory. Some employees fit that description. "No, I
don t think that s it, but I doubt I ll discover the truth. They re not
required to tell me."
"This is so weird ... and not right." She lets out a loud sigh. "Forget
about Blue, Cali. Who needs them? You have a bright future ahead."
I pinch my lips and breathe through my nose, holding down the ball at
the back of my throat. "Right." Having this job while I figured things
out with school was my buffer, and now it's gone.
Gen returned to work, but she promised to come straight home after her
shift. Talking to her had the positive effect of waking me from my
catatonic state on the patio.
I only spent thirty minutes in the casino, but my clothes and hair carry
the burnt tang of cigarette smoke. I want to purge every reminder of
that place. I grab my favorite threadbare sweats and T-shirt, and take a
shower.
Wet hair dangling down my back, I flip through television channels,
searching for a smutty reality show to make my life appear normal.
My cell phone vibrates. It's a text from Jaeger.
Jaeger: Have you eaten?
Cali: No. How did you get my number?
Jaeger: Gen. You like burritos?

Ah hell. Does Gen know he's texting me? She must if she gave him my
number.
He s catching me during a vulnerable moment. I can t say no. I want to
see him. Nothing s going to happen with Gen on her way
home—though that wasn t much of a deterrent the last time. I shove
that thought aside.
Cali: Chicken, please.
Twenty minutes later, a knock sounds at the front door and my pulse
jumps. It s probably Jaeger, but I peek out the window anyway. I ve had
too many surprises, and with my suspicions about Drake, anything s
possible.
Jaeger s silver truck shimmers in the light from the porch. I open the
door and find him standing there in blue jeans and a heathered gray
sweatshirt, a brown paper bag in his hands.
"Hey." He glances at my sweats and smirks.
After his text, I rolled the waistband so I wouldn t have a saggy butt and
put on a bra, but otherwise, I look like crap. "Come on in."
Jaeger sets the bag on the counter. "Cups?"
"Behind you." I point to the correct cupboard and reach for plates,
setting them on the table in the dining nook.
Jaeger walks over with a glass and two bottles of Dos Equis. He pours
me one and gulps from his bottle.
I take a large swig, the carbonation burning my oversensitized nose. It s
no longer bright red, but it s still stopped up from all the crying.
"Ahhh—" Even so, Dos Equis tastes like a little bit of sunshine.
"—I needed that."
Jaeger smiles and pulls out four bundles wrapped in white paper. He
sets three on his plate and one on mine. Neither of us wastes time
before digging into our food.
"So," I say in between bites, "I m guessing Gen told you what

happened?"
He nods. "Mason saw you escorted out. I talked to Gen."
My face warms. This entire evening has been one huge kick in my ass.
I m certain I did nothing to justify being fired, but it s still
embarrassing, like having my credit card refused at the checkout
counter because someone stole my card number. The finger points to
me.
"Did she ask you to check on me?"
His gaze rises. "No. I sent myself."
"And how did she feel about that?"
He stares at me for a moment, his gaze perplexed. "I didn't ask."
He doesn t seem guilty, just matter-of-fact. I take another bite of my
delicious burrito, stealthily studying his handsome face and broad
shoulders. I can tell by the sauce that he picked up the food from my
favorite taqueria. "Well, thanks. I appreciate you coming."
Jaeger s mouth pauses mid-munch. He stares at me for a moment
before lifting his beer and swallowing. "What will you do? Will you
look for another casino job?"
"I got the position through one of my mom's contacts. She told us about
summer hires and put in a good word. It s late in the season. I doubt
there are any left." I set my half-eaten burrito down and wipe my mouth
with a napkin. "I m supposed to leave for school soon. I ve saved
enough money to get through the summer. I won t make Gen pay our
rent by herself. My mom s in Carson City. I could always spend time
with her. She s been asking me to come out."
Jaeger polishes off his burrito and bites into a taco, drumming his
fingers on the table. "So you ll have time to kill."
I'm not sure why he sounds happy. "I guess." Nothing about being fired
seems positive.
Jaeger glances at my half-eaten burrito. "Finished? Ready for
dessert?"
"You brought dessert?" "Of course."
He downs his last taco and we wash the dishes. I m putting away
utensils with my back turned when I hear rustling sounds coming from
Jaeger's magical paper bag. I look to see what he's up to.

He sets a jar on the counter.
It's ... "You brought green olives?"
He slides the jar to me.
I m speechless. I look up and he s smiling. "How did you know?"
"I m observant." He must see the question on my face. "You gobbled
them like grapes at Harrah s."
This is the sweetest thing a guy has ever done for me. I want to wrap
him up, throw him on my bed, and have my way with him. I grip the
counter and slow my breathing. "Thank you."
Jaeger pops the jar open. He plucks an olive and stretches his hand to
my mouth. I part my lips and he slips the olive inside. My tongue
grazes his finger on the way out.
He stares at my mouth as I chew. "More?" he asks absently.
I nod. "What about you? You having dessert?" I pull out another green
beauty.
He clears his throat. "Watching you eat is dessert." He grins naughtily.
This is trouble. How am I supposed to stay away when he s like this?
My panties evaporate just looking at him, and then he s funny and
sweet and brings me green olives. I have no defenses.
"But, I brought something else for me. You mind if we go out
back?"
A change of scenery would be good. Outdoors—away from
bedrooms—even better.
When Jaeger asked me to carry the paper bag outside while he went to
his truck, I wasn t expecting him to return with a mini Hibachi
grill.
What the hell? "You cannot still be hungry after dinner. You ate half a
cow in carne asada."
He chuckles and sets the grill on the cement. He pulls a lighter along
with a protracting spear from his back pocket.
The man comes equipped.
He lights coals inside the Hibachi and waits for them to heat, then pulls
a bag of marshmallows from the paper bag. Now I know where this

is going, and I like the way he thinks.
I sit back in my lounge chair and wait for Jaeger to roast a
marshmallow. He s one of those golden brown all over kind of people,
while I typically set mine ablaze and see what happens.
By the time Jaeger deems the marshmallow baked to perfection, my
mouth is watering. He slowly eases the golden ball off the spear and
places it on a square of chocolate between two graham crackers.
He s been a complete gentleman the entire time I ve known him. He
won't try to eat that without offering me some ...
With deliberate slowness, he brings the s'more to his mouth—
I whimper, and he looks over, eyebrows raised, as if he knows I m
about to tackle him for his food. "Would you like some, Cali?"
He s teasing me. I ve had one of the worst weeks of my life, and he s
teasing me.
I pick up a pine cone and chuck it at his chest. He deflects it easily and
laughs.
"Give me a bite, dammit!" I say.
He shakes his head. "Bossy."
"Yes, I am. Let that be a lesson to you."
A crooked smile crosses his face. My palms sweat with the mischief
behind it. Instead of handing me the s more, he leans over until he's a
foot away and lifts it to my mouth.
I narrow my eyes at him. A smile curls my lips. "You like feeding
me."
He stares at my mouth and nods. "Mm-hmm."
That s dirty. I like it. Two can play this game. I lick the chocolate
dripping down his index finger, taking my time. Jaeger s face tenses
and he breathes in, his gaze on my tongue running along his long, thick
finger. I take a bite of the s more and lick my lips. "Mmm, good."
His mouth parts slightly. "You ve got some—" He indicates the side of
my mouth.
I intentionally lick the other side.
He looks in my eyes. "You re teasing me?"
I nod slowly.
Jaeger lets out a slow breath and sets the s more on top of the paper

bag. "I don't like to be teased." His face is devoid of emotion, and for a
moment, I think he s serious.
Before I know what s happening, Jaeger drops the head of my lounge
chair till I m flat on my back and climbs on top of me, lightly pinning
my arms above my head.
I let out a squeak. He grabs both my hands with one of his, licks the side
of my mouth where the chocolate was, and tickles my ribs with his
other hand.
"Stop!" I free a hand—he isn't holding tight—and grab his tickling
fingers, twining them with mine.
"What? You don t like the punishment for naughty girls who
tease?"
I m grinning, because despite my misery, I m having fun. I always have
fun with him. "This isn't punishment."
He smiles boyishly. "No, I guess not. I'm a lover, not a fighter."
His eyes grow serious and he leans down and kisses me softly. He
tastes like chocolate, and something else yummy that I associate with
him. The gentle kiss evolves, transferring into something hot and
needy. I wrap my arms around his back and he leans more weight on
me.
I love the way he holds me, the way his kisses are deliberate, not sloppy
and fast in order to get somewhere.
Jaeger shifts his hips between my legs and my breath catches, thighs
softening around his waist. He moans in my mouth and presses again—
The lounge collapses—well, the bottom half, anyway—and our legs
slam to the ground.
Jaeger laughs. "Shit. Are you okay?" He makes no move to get off me,
and I'm glad. I like him right where he is.
I look down at the damage. The bottom support posts are bent in half.
"Crap, how will I explain this to Gen?" I squeeze him tighter so he
knows I'm going to be very upset if he tries to get off me right now.
He kisses the side of my mouth and runs his hand down my ribs to my
stomach. "Blame it on me. Tell her I sat on it," he murmurs.
His tongue finds the inside of my mouth and his hands travel up and
down the length of my body for the next half hour on that broken

lounge chair—until the telltale sounds beyond the fence reach my ears.
Guilt flushes my chest and I push away lightly. "Gen is home," I
whisper. "We should get up."
I did it again. How could I do it again? I have to know without a doubt
that there s nothing between Gen and Jaeger.
Jaeger groans and pecks me on the mouth before pushing up.
"What s going on with you and Gen?" I blurt. I ve had no luck finessing
the truth out of Gen. Might as well be blunt with Jaeger and get to the
point.
He puts away s more paraphernalia, his head cocked to the side as if
confused. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, are you guys—um—well, hooking-up?"
Jaeger freezes. "What? Why would you think that?"
"You took her out the other day. I wondered . I mean, she said no, but I
have to be sure."
He looks away as if thinking, and then slowly shakes his head. "I
wanted her opinion about something I m working on. It s not . no, Cali,
I m not hooking-up with Gen. I can t believe you thought that after—"
His hand lifts to me and then drops. "I would never do that. I m not like
that."
I believe him, but I can t say I know him well. "What are you
like?"
He s quiet for a moment, replacing the top of the Hibachi. "I m not
going to lie. For a time I hooked-up a lot, but that was a while ago.
There were things going on—things I was trying to deal with.
Obviously, I didn t deal with them well, but I got over it and I m not like
that anymore. It wasn't the real me." He stares into my eyes. "But even
then, I would never have hooked-up with one girl and then turned
around and pursued her best friend." He rubs his jaw. "I also didn't,
ahhh—date—more than one girl at a time. Too complicated."
So he didn t screw more than one girl on the same day, but there
probably wasn t much lag time in between. I can deal with that. He was
younger then. It s slutty, but I don t expect less from a twenty-year-old
guy who was hot enough to have anyone he wanted. As long as he s not
like that anymore.

I'm not a virgin, but I'm loyal, and despite what Jaeger might think of
me after I let Drake drive me home, I don t sleep around. Make out, for
sure, but not sex. That I reserve for relationships. It s my one prim and
proper rule, if you can call it that.
Gen opens the screen door. "There you are. Hey, Jaeger. I didn t know
you were coming over." She looks at the lounge chair I'm sitting on and
the bent legs. "You eat too much tonight, Cali?"
"Shut up! " I toss a pine cone at her head, but she s farther away than
Jaeger and my aim is not exactly accurate. Gen doesn t bother
deflecting because the pine cone lands wide. Okay, it lands in the next
county.
Jaeger shakes his head and stands, holding the warm Hibachi by the
handles, the paper bag stuffed under his arm. "We re going to need to
work on that."
"I thought you said I'm never to throw anything ever again."
"And did you listen?"
Shit. He has me there.
Jaeger walks to the back gate. "Later, Gen. Cali, I ll see you tomorrow."
Tomorrow?
"Eleven a.m.," he calls from the driveway.
I trust what Jaeger said about him and Gen, so if he isn t hooking-up
with her, what is going on? There s something she isn t telling me.

Chapter Sixteen
"Friggin' hell," Gen growls. She's spilled about a thousand Cheerios
onto the kitchen floor.
A few roll out of the kitchen and I kick them back inside. "Better clean
that up."
She squints across the counter, eyes half-lidded, a lock of hair sticking
straight up on one side. "Why are you up? You re jobless. Shouldn t
you be sleeping until two or three, or job hunting?"
I deserved that. "Touché. Jaeger told me to be ready at eleven,
remember?"
She grumbles a response. Something about noisy roommates and
waking too early.
Oopsie, I might have made a little noise in my eagerness to get ready
for my date.
The coffee maker pours a stream of deliciousness into the pot. It s
almost done, but ... screw it. Gen's grumpiness is in top form and
requires evasive action.
I pull out the carafe—it's one of those auto-stop ones—and pour her a
cup. "Here."
She takes a sip, dustpan in hand. "Ahhh, gracias."
My cell phone rings. I grab my purse from the counter and toss
everything out until I locate my phone at the very bottom.
"Hey, sis."
"Tyler?" This is weird. He must be back in Boulder, but I don t usually
hear from him for a few weeks after a visit. "What are you up
to?"
"Still out and about," he says.
"What does that mean?"
"Well—um—I'm hanging with Mom."
Tyler visits in the summertime, but never for more than a couple of
weeks.
"Did you lose your job?" I say in a panicked rush. Great. Friggin great.
Both Morgan kids can t screw up their futures. It ll crush Mom.

"Relax. I didn't lose my job. Just needed a break from Boulder."
Tyler loves Boulder. "Okaaay. What s your plan?"
"Well, I was thinking I could come back out there for a bit. I m bored in
Carson. Mom s new place is nice, but it s too flat here. Nothing to do.
My buddy in The Keys wants to show me new bike trails. I could crash
with him, but he's got a girlfriend, and ... you know."
"Crowded."
"Right, so what do you think? Can I camp in your loft? I'll stay out of
your hair. Promise."
"Stay for as long as you like. You don t have to pretend to be invisible.
I like having you around—but don t tell anyone I said that."
He laughs. "Your secret is safe with me. But you might change your
tune if I see any guys sniffing around your place. I m still your big
brother."
And he s friends with Jaeger. That could get complicated. What would
Tyler think of us and whatever it is we re doing? "I m twenty-one,
Tyler. You can lock the big brother protective crap away. I'm not a
virgin."
He lets out a deep breath. "I m going to pretend I didn t hear that. And
you can tell Gen I ve got my eye out for her too. Any guys entering the
abode will have to pass the Tyler Detector."
"This should be fun," I say flatly.
"I knew you d agree."
Jaeger picks me up right on time and he cometh bearing gifts. "How did
you know I like lattes?"
He smiles from the driver s seat. "Green olives I deduced. The latte was
a lucky guess."
"You have good taste."
This time I get the full effect of his gaze. "Yes, I do."
My face grows warm and I peer out the window, hiding the flush I
know is there. Being strawberry blonde doesn t exempt me from
everything that comes with being a redhead. But at least I narrowly
missed freckles.
"So what are we doing?" We ve passed Stateline. Wherever we re

going isn't in town.
"I'm taking you to my house. I'd like to show you what I do."
We talked a little about ourselves last night, but showing is always
better. I have a good idea of what he does for a living—I ve seen the
wood carvings by local artisans littering the side of Highway 89 my
entire life—but if he wants to show me, I m game.
A few minutes later, Jaeger pulls into a long, gravel driveway, tall pines
towering majestically along the sides. A clearing at the end opens to a
house next to a square building with a similar pitched roof and
approximate size. Beyond the two structures, the lake peeks through
more pines. Most people with this real estate would have clear cut and
widened the view of the lake, but the owner has kept it fairly natural.
It s a nice house. Really nice. I didn t think Jaeger lived with his
parents, but I figured he rented an apartment like Mason. How much
does a bear- and totem-pole carver actually make?
Jaeger steps out of the truck and closes my door behind me. "Let s take
a look at the house first. I've got lunch ready." He moves ahead to open
the front door.
What is happening? Lattes and green olives, the home-delivered
meals—that s all A-game material.
Is he wooing me?
My memories of early dating rituals are hazy. Eric didn t make much of
an effort in that department. Both Gen and Jaeger have denied there s
anything between them, so that s no longer a barrier. Jaeger is Tyler's
friend, and I will for sure receive shit for that, but I can deal with my
brother. Eric and I are history, and I ve mostly recovered from being
dumped. By all accounts, I should be jumping all over Jaeger with
normal abandon, yet something still holds me back.
I don t want Jaeger to be a rebound. I worry about that some, but not as
much as before. He s different. We re different. If I allow it, I think this
could be something serious. But life is confusing right now. I don't
know what I want to do about school, but I also don't want to mess up
what s between me and Jaeger.
Jaeger walks up the steps to a small covered porch with logs for support
beams and a wide stone chimney with a built-in outdoor grill.

Picture windows off the porch face the lake. He unlocks the door and
we step inside the house.
It s not what I expected. The exterior was spectacular, but anyone can
rent a place that looks good from the outside. The interior and what you
do with it is something else entirely, especially when it comes to men.
There isn t a hint of guy-shabby-chic anywhere, not even your token
crooked wall hanging. A modern, comfortable-looking sable sectional
faces the hearth, a sixty-inch flat screen to the side of the fireplace. The
art around the room is the real deal, colorful, but masculine to match
the decor. There s a dining table like the trestle table inside Jaeger s
parents house, only this one is carved with Mission-style accents.
Jaeger strides past the kitchen island and opens a stainless-steel
refrigerator. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
My mouth is parched, but not from thirst. Nerves are getting to me.
Who is this person with the beautiful home, wooing me like I ve never
been wooed before? And am I ready for him?
He s everything I never knew I wanted.
I thought I was self-confident to a fault and that was how I ended up
with Eric. We fell into a committed relationship, because I persisted
and determined we would. I was at the top of my class, destined for a
great career. A guy s not sure? You charm him into being sure. I made
it easy for Eric to be with me. I didn t complain about him going out
with his friends. Didn t ask why he never introduced me to his family.
He didn't have to work for us. I made it happen.
But this thing with Jaeger is different. We re on equal ground
emotionally and intellectually, and it makes me nervous. What have I
to offer? I have no job, an uncertain future . it was all fun and games
when I thought I had a leg up professionally, but I m beginning to
wonder about his totem pole business.
"Just water, thanks."
Jaeger hands me a glass and pulls out a blue ceramic bowl from the
refrigerator, containing a fluffy green salad with sliced strawberries on
top. A plate of raw meat joins the salad on the counter.

He turns on a grill in the cooktop and spreads out slices of meat. "Make
yourself comfortable," he says over his shoulder. "This will take about
ten minutes. We ll eat, and then I ll show you around."
I glance at his immaculate home. It makes the cottage Gen and I live in
look like a shanty. "Do you mind if I go outside? I d like to take a look
at the lake." And gulp in air.
Jaeger gazes at me, his expression approving. "That s why I picked this
place. For the view." He smiles and wipes his hands on a dishtowel, his
shoulders tense. I wonder if he s nervous too. "I ll come get you when it
s ready."
The familiar scent of pines fills my lungs, grounding me as I walk to
the edge of the yard. I pass the workshop, curious—really curious—but
I don't peek in.
A log swing with plush cushions faces the lake above the stony shore. I
take a seat and tuck my legs beneath me, clenching my hands together.
Being with Jaeger is easy. I don t have to strategize to get him to want
to spend time with me. He makes it happen. I ve never had anything I
didn t have to work for. School was easier for me than for most people,
but I still put in time and energy. This thing with Jaeger is natural, and
it scares the shit out of me.
I m not sure how much time has passed when the swing moves of its
own volition. I glance up, and Jaeger slides in beside me, placing his
hand lightly on my ankle. We gaze at the lake together without talking.
I ve never felt this kind of calm and peace with another person.
He leans close, his chin above my shoulder, nose nuzzling the lobe
of my ear. "What do you think?"
I gather he s talking about the view and not his hand on my leg, which
is very distracting. "I love it."
He shifts and lifts me onto his lap, his arms a protective enclosure. "I
want you to be happy here."
I tense. This is so much. He s so much. I have nothing to offer.
His brow furrows as though he senses my thoughts. He kisses my cheek
and then my mouth, his hands running up and down my arms in a
soothing manner. I lean into him, my body going slack. Tingles spread

from my core as he deepens the kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck,
running my fingers through his short, soft hair.
Jaeger breaks the kiss first, but he doesn t pull away, he holds me close.
His pulse pounds against my lips at his throat. "We d better go in or I ll
want to stay here for a while. Our lunch will go bad. " He lifts my chin
and pecks my lips. "To be continued," he says with a knowing look and
leads me into the house, his hand wrapped around mine.
The tri-tip salad is delicious. The guy seriously knows how to cook,
while I ve been keeping the frozen meal section of the grocery store in
business. We finish our food with a glass of red wine, and he gives me
the tour of the house.
I ve already seen the great room, which includes the dining area,
kitchen, and living room. Down the hall, the master bedroom faces the
lake, while on the other end of the house sits a second bedroom and a
large office that holds a couch, a pinball machine, and a massive
flat-screen. In other words, a man-cave.
The man-cave is more in line with what I expected from the home of a
twenty-four-year-old. Medals and a few trophies are piled haphazardly
in a glass case, along with other odd guy curios, like signed
baseballs—and a pair of boxers with a woman s lipstick mark.
"Nice boxers."
"Oh—yeahhh ... That's from a while ago." "Yours, I assume?"
He nods, a sheepish smile crossing his face. "But someone else's
lipstick, I hope?"
Jaeger grabs my hand and pulls me to his chest. "One of the random
celebs that came through town."
I frown, imagining the female vacationers looking for hook-ups, and
spotting Jaeger. No one could pass him up.
He kisses my mouth, my lips stiff and unyielding. "That s in the past.
All of it," he says.
What does that mean? This entire date feels serious, like he s trying to
tell me something.
"Come on. I'll show you my woodshop."
Jaeger pulls me out a back door, across stone pavers, and into a

huge, open indoor space filled with machinery and some type of
ductwork sprouting from a table in the center. There s a
comfortable-looking leather couch to the side, and a couple of doors at
the back of the building.
He points to the doors. "One of those is a bathroom, the other a drying
room with fans."
In the corner of his shop stands an eight-foot carved winding trellis.
"What s that for?" It s bigger than anything I imagined him working on,
and far more beautiful.
"Wedding arbor I'm making for a client's daughter." He presses gently
on the curve of my lower back and guides me forward. "I ve done
cabinetry and other extras, but my bread and butter is over here."
Tiered slats built into the lower half of one of the walls are filled with
dozens of square and rectangular flat wooden etchings in every size.
Next to them, a display shelf with a square black velvet drape hangs
from the wall. Jaeger pulls out one of the smaller etchings, about two
feet by two feet, and places it on the shelf.
I stare for a long moment without saying anything, because my throat is
tight and I m not sure words will come out. I ve seen art in museums
and from local artisans—there s a boatload of shops in town. But I've
never seen anything like the carving in front of me.
At first glance, three deer graze in various poses, as if the artist pulled
them from a photograph. Upon closer inspection, the grain of the wood
is worked into the design, though the only actual carving is of the deer
and not their surroundings. The etching isn t cheesy or cheap. It s
beautiful. Elegant. Nature carved on nature, and I can t stop staring.
"Well? What do you think?"
"I—wow. It's nothing like what I imagined. It's real art." That sounds
lame, but it's the truth, I'm sorry to admit.
He chuckles and replaces the piece in its slot. "You thought less?" "I
thought you made totem poles and sold them on the side of the
road."
He shakes his head. "Cali, so little faith?"
"Well, how was I supposed to know you did this?" I wave my arms
wildly. "I don't know anyone with this kind of talent."

He picks me up and kisses my lips. "You think I m talented?"
My toes are a good two feet off the ground. I d be stupid to argue with
him in such a vulnerable position. I twist my mouth. "You know you re
talented."
He laughs again and whispers his lips across the sensitive skin at my
neck. "I like to hear it coming from you."
His mouth on my neck sends a shiver down my arms. I look into his
eyes. "Your work s beautiful, Jaeger."
An hour later, after Jaeger shows me several of his designs, holding my
hand and stealing kisses throughout, he drops me off at the cottage with
one last hot kiss on the doorstep and the promise of something special
tomorrow.
I walk into our outdated, oversized closet of a rental, my head spinning.
So this is what the expression swept off your feet means. I am floating,
and without Jaeger to keep me grounded, I feel like I could drift away.
What happened to my substance?
I m still hovering in the living room when Tyler walks in a few seconds
later. He dumps his duffel loudly in the same place as last time—the
center of the pathway. He stares out the front window. "What are you
doing with Jaeg?"
I sink onto the couch. "We're hanging out."
His mouth parts and his eyes narrow. "What do you mean, hanging
out?"
"Dating, seeing each other—you know that ritual men and women
do?"
Tyler steps closer. Here it comes, the you-can t-date-my-friend speech.
"Cali, I get it that you re going through a rough time. I know the
feeling." He does? He doesn't know I lost my job. He must be referring
to the breakup, but what does Tyler know about breakups? He hasn't
had a girlfriend since high school. "Which is why I want you to stay
away from Jaeger. He s a good guy. He doesn t deserve to get fucked
over on the rebound."
I stare, dumbfounded. "Are you warning him away from me? What
happened to the Tyler Detector and keeping guys away from your
innocent sister? And for the record, I am a nice girl."

Tyler sits next to me on the couch, the weight of his large body making
me bounce on my end of the cushion. "You are, but like I said,
you're—" He flaps his hand. "—messed up. Unstable right now."
I shake my head in exasperation. "Thanks, Tyler, cause I needed my
brother to turn on me in my time of need."
He nudges my shoulder. "I m not turning on you. It s just that I know
Jaeg. I know what he s been through. The Olympics were months away
when he had his accident. Not years—months, Cali. Training was his
life and he lost it all." Tyler rubs his mouth and shakes his head. "I saw
the way he watched you at his parents place. He s a serious guy, and he
likes you. If you're not serious about him ..."
I don t want to hurt Jaeger, but not being with him would hurt me. He
makes me happy and his kisses turn my limbs the consistency of
pudding. But Tyler s right. I m messed up. "Why are you really in town,
Tyler?"
He stands and rummages in his bag, his movements stiff and jerky. "I
had a similar situation with a girl. Nothing I want to talk about."
My big brother had his heart broken? That's a first.
I lay my head on the back of the couch and wince. My stomach is tied
in knots. "Well, you re welcome to stay as long as you want." I glance
over, and Tyler's staring at me.
"What s wrong? You sick?" he asks.
I rock my head from side to side and gaze at the ceiling. "I m a loser,
Tyler. I haven't told you or Mom yet, but I lost my job." He raises a
brow, and I wave off the questions. "Long story."
He sits beside me again. "You re not a loser. You re almost as smart as
me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet."
Confidence runs in the family.
In comparison to Jaeger and what he accomplished after adversity, I am
a loser. At the moment, I have nothing to offer but baggage.
Before I left his place, Jaeger told me he bought his house and
workshop with the money he earned. That beautiful place and the
property is his. He s wealthy—and I thought he was a side-of-the-road
salesman. I figured with my college degree, I had the upper hand.
I can t stay in Lake Tahoe forever. My mom would have a heart

attack, and I d never amount to anything working one of the myriad
unskilled jobs available.
If I obtain my law degree, that would be something. I wouldn't be a
loser with no future. I d have something to contribute to a relationship.
Eric booted me and I was his intellectual superior. How would a
relationship with someone like Jaeger ever survive?
I am nothing without that law degree.

Chapter Seventeen
The next day I do laundry and wait for Jaeger to call or text. Yes, that s
how lame I ve become. I m sitting around waiting for a guy to call. Gen
s having an early lunch with Nessa, and Tyler drove to his friend s
place. Not having a car bites now that Gen and I are no longer on the
same schedule.
I fold clothes on the bed and glance at the phone every few minutes. It
rings, or rather, chimes, and I launch across the bed in a
quasi-cartwheel and swipe it off the nightstand.
I take a deep breath and let it out easy. He doesn t need to know I just
sprinted to answer the call. "Hello?" I say calmly.
"Hey, Cali."
What the hell? "Eric?"
"Surprised?"
"Yeeahh. Kinda."
"I wanted to check in. See how you re doing." He sounds happy, which
is pretty annoying. It s not that I don t want him happy, but he doesn't
need to rub it in after the way he treated me.
"I'm good, Eric. Everything's good."
"Awesome. Things are going well over here too. I finish school at the
end of the month and just accepted a job with a start-up in Silicon
Valley. Great benefits package, vacation, the works. Some travel, as
well. It s a good opportunity. Lots of room for growth."
My loser ex has a life and he called to brag? "Good for you, Eric," I say,
attempting to mean it.
"When do you leave for Harvard?" he asks cheerily.
I rub my forehead with a fist. "Uhh, well, I m not sure. I guess I m
going." I should go. I need to go if I want a life.
"What do you mean, you guess?" His tone is critical.
"Well . I was sort of considering not attending. I m not sure it s the right
path for me."
"Are you insane?" His voice ends on a high pitch. "You re joking,
right?"

What the hell? Eric never cared about my plans. Not until he broke up
with me and indicated our different futures was part of the reason. "I
was considering deferring or maybe trying something else." I have no
idea what that something else would be, but with Eric acting
judgmental, I don t want to sound like an even bigger loser and admit I
don t have a plan. "In all likelihood, I ll end up going to law school."
"Yeah—well, good luck with that," he says insincerely. "I gotta go. I
need to wrap up finals and search for a place on the Peninsula. Me and
a couple of buddies are living together. It's gonna be rad."
Did he just use the word rad? He got his shit together, so I have to give
props for that.
My loser ex and I have switched places. How awesome.
Just—fantastic. "Okay, well, congratulations on your new job."
"Thanks. I'll see you around."
Will he? I doubt it. I click off my phone and toss it on the bed, planting
my face in the mattress. Payback is a biiitch.
Jaeger stuffs the sandwiches and drinks he bought at the marina
convenience store into his backpack. He called shortly after Eric did
and surprised me with a hike at Fallen Leaf Lake.
We climb down the steps to the beach and walk along the shore to the
trailhead. "My ex called today," I blurt.
His gaze slides to me, his pace slowing to a stroll.
"He called to tell me how great his life is." I sink onto the craggy
surface of a large rock. What I have to say isn t directly related to Eric,
but it needs to be said before things go further. I stare out at the water.
"I don't want to go to law school. Not even to one I can afford. I don't
want to go at all." Jaeger sits on the low stone beside me, which puts his
shoulders only a few inches above mine instead of a foot. "I might not
end up being who you thought I'd be when we started this." Silence. I
look over and he s watching me with a calm expression on his face.
"What are you thinking?"
Jaeger slides the backpack from his shoulder and sets it on the ground.
"I think you are who I thought you were when I saw you again,

and that you should do what makes you happy. You re a talented, smart
girl. You can do anything you want."
I choke. "Talented? I m not talented. I m good at school. Smart, yes,
although that s questionable at the moment. A smart person wouldn't
give up a top law program."
Jaeger s brows pinch together. "You re an artist too. Don t put yourself
in a box, Cali. And your ex—" He shakes his head. "Dumbass. Better
for me." He grins. "I never cared that you got into Harvard. I didn t
know that s what you were doing before . well, anyway. That s not what
impressed me about you, though your intelligence is hot." The corner
of his mouth kicks up, light stubble along his jaw flickering blond in
the light.
I grin. His words are like a warm blanket; they soothe and comfort. He
sees me for who I am better than I do. "What did you mean when you
said I m an artist?"
"Your sketches."
"My doodles?'
He nods slowly, as if considering something. "They're amazing."
Is he crazy? No one has ever told me my doodles are good, not that I
flash them around or anything. Gen likes them, but she also thinks
vampire romances are literature and sings along to "Islands in the
Stream." She's not a reliable source.
Jaeger rests his elbows on his knees, hands draped loosely between
them. "I thought skiing and the Olympics were everything I wanted in
life. That skiing was the only thing I could do. When it all fell away, I
thought I had nothing left. My knee was jacked from tearing it too
many times and my long-term girlfriend broke up with me." He looks
up. "I know what it s like to get dumped. I understand the doubts that go
through your head. Believe me when I say that your ex was an idiot
who didn t know what he had."
Those words are easier to believe about someone else. Why any girl
would let Jaeger go baffles me. I can t imagine giving him up. I can
barely take my eyes off him. "The girl you were with? She broke up
with you after your accident?"
"We were together in high school and our first year of college. She

broke up with me when I was in the hospital."
My throat tightens. It happened a long time ago, but I m angry for him.
"That s horrible," I finally manage.
He smirks. "It was. At the time. I eventually got over it. You remember
me telling you about those years—"
"When you were a man-whore."
He smiles, his eyes crinkling. "When I was a man-whore." Then his
face sobers. "It was a stupid, immature reaction, but I was crushed. Not
just because of her. When she broke up with me I wasn t that surprised.
Maybe with her timing, but not that it happened."
Hmm. A curious statement. I want to know more, but I won't push.
"You've handled the crap you've been dealt really well. Better than I
did."
I pick at a weed in front of me. "I haven't turned into a slut."
The corner of his mouth quirks. "Maybe, but that s not my point. You re
a good friend, Cali. You look out for Gen. I ve seen you with your
brother and the bond you share. You re a hard worker or you wouldn t
have gotten into law school . and I remember you when we were
younger. You ve always been feisty, with an underlying sweetness." He
shifts on the rock, planting his feet more firmly on the ground. "I had a
crush on you back then," he says faintly, looking out at the water.
My mouth gapes and I stare at him. After a moment, he glances over
and smiles at what I'm assuming is my stunned expression. "It's not
something I admitted to myself back then. I was young and stupid. I
thought I was in love with Kate. I was busy, training nonstop. I glossed
over things with her that I shouldn't have. I didn't trust my instincts.
The more I get to know you, the more I realize you re everything I
wanted and still want. I know you re going through a hard time, and
believe me, I'm trying to give you space, but it's difficult. I want to be
with you."
I stop breathing for a moment, my head spinning. I figured he liked me.
I wondered to what degree, with all the wooing. I never imagined his
interest stemmed from as far back as high school—when I had my own
little crush on the younger version of him. "What are you saying?"
His gaze shifts down, then out at the water. "Just that I m here. I m

not going anywhere." He looks back. "No matter what direction your
life takes. Things feel messed up, but you'll pull through this and you'll
have me."
As much as that statement comforts, I can t help but wonder . why? My
life s a wreck. I can t handle not knowing where I m headed. I need to
know, or I can't see a future with Jaeger or anyone.
God, I sound like a guy, needing financial security before I can commit.
But I was raised differently. My mom taught my brother and me to be
independent and to provide for ourselves instead of relying on others. I
can t simply wipe that program from my head. I have to figure out what
I m doing before I make promises, but I also don t want to lose Jaeger.
No more serious talks about the future or feelings come up during the
rest of our walk, which is a relief. I need time to process everything.
Jaeger holds my hand as we check out a small mountain chapel nestled
off the trail, but he doesn t kiss me. That doesn t stop me from drooling
every time he lunges over a boulder near the cascades, his shorts
straining against his perfect ass. The degree to which I lust after him is
embarrassing.
He drops me off at my house after the hike and pecks me on the cheek.
The gesture is friendly and platonic, and not at all in line with his earlier
words. Is he giving me space?
Jaeger said he d stand by me no matter what I decide, but the only
logical course is to plan for Cambridge. There are cheaper and closer
programs, but I d be a dumbass to pass up Harvard. Attending school
there is what an independent, intelligent woman would do. I can t stand
this fragile, broken thing I ve become.
It's the only way I can get back to being myself.

Chapter Eighteen
It s been over an hour since Jaeger dropped me off and Gen hasn t
returned from lunch with Nessa. I check my phone for messages.
Finding none, I open a new text, but stop typing at the sound of a car
easing into the driveway.
My eyes bulge. Gen s in the passenger side of a red Jeep in a heated
conversation with Lewis from the beach barbecue. Mira s boyfriend.
Where the heck is Gen s car?
I can t believe she s with this guy. He s the A-hole all over again. Is she
intentionally trying to ruin her chance for happiness?
I sink onto the couch and twist my hands together. I thought bringing
Gen to Lake Tahoe would be a good thing. I can t believe she s putting
herself back in the same situation she escaped.
Gen shuts the front door behind her and presses her back to it, her eyes
closed. I spring up in full attack mode. "What the hell, Gen? What are
you doing with that guy?" I point forcefully at the window and Lewis,
his head turned as he reverses out of the driveway.
Gen presses her fingers to her temples. "He s not that bad, Cali. Simmer
down." She looks up. "It's not what you think."
"You re doing it all over again!" I m stressed and taking it out on my
BF, but I can t stop. The stress of what I need to do—what I should do
to keep my independence—is making me crazy. "Did you learn nothing
the first time? Get a clue, Gen, this guy is using you!"
Her hands fist at her sides. "And you know so much about men? Did
you know Eric hit on me? He wanted to sleep with me, Cali."
Her words knock my head back. "What?"
"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner."
Gen s phone buzzes. She checks it, then storms into our bedroom while
I stand in the doorway, stunned. She takes off her sneakers—are her
clothes wet?—and pulls a pair of sandals out of the closet, along with a
fresh top and bottoms. "I tried to tell you that day at Eagle Lake, but
you said things were fine between you two." She puts on her sandals
and

pauses, hands on her thighs. "After you and Eric broke up, I told myself
I'd be kicking you when you were down. I didn't want to cause you
more pain. I panicked and more time passed ..." I'm frozen. "What are
you talking about?"
Gen whips off her T-shirt and pulls the new top over her head, arms
poking through the sleeve holes. She turns to me. "Do you remember
when I drove Eric to the store to pick up sunscreen while you were in
the shower the first weekend in town?" I nod. "He came up behind me
when we were there and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed
my neck."
My head thrusts forward like a hound s. "What the fuck! Why are you
only telling me this now?"
"I was still getting over the A-hole and not thinking clearly. It freaked
me out. I worried you d get the wrong idea and believe I led Eric on.
You don't know what it's like."
"Are you kidding me? You re seriously telling me that guys lusting
after you is a hardship that forces you to betray your
best—fucking—friend'' I can't help the F-bombs. They surface when I
m furious.
She shakes her head, her eyes agonized. "That s not what happened.
That s not what I m saying." "What are you saying?"
Gen grabs her purse and drapes it across her chest. Her cheeks are
attractively flushed from whatever the hell she was doing with her new
cheating boyfriend, and her pink blouse, shorts, and sandals fit her tall,
lithe body to perfection. I sort of hate her right now.
Her hands twist in the long strap of her purse. "He said he'd always
been attracted to me." She looks away, voice light, lips barely moving.
"That things were fizzling between you two and that you d basically
become friends."
I sink onto the mattress, my head in my hands. Bastard. I can't believe
he called me and I allowed him to make me feel bad. I don t care what
kind of job he got or how good his life is. He's a piece of shit.
I look up, pointedly. "What did you say to him?"
"No! I said no! I never wanted that. He made me feel . dirty. I

would never . "
That s what was bothering her the day of the hike when we first arrived
in Tahoe. Not thoughts of her A-hole ex, but that my shithead
boyfriend had made a pass at her.
She walks up and rests her hand lightly on my shoulder. "Cali, we need
to talk, but I have to go or I'll be late for work. I'm sorry, okay?"
I don t look up. I don t answer. Gen sighs and walks out of our
bedroom. The front door shuts a moment later, punctuating the finality
of this moment.
When Gen and I first arrived in Tahoe, she was the broken one and I
was her support. Now, we re both broken and there s a gulf between us.
What is happening?
I can t believe I m questioning Gen s loyalty. She s always been there
for me. It wasn t her fault Eric is a jerk. She was put in a bad position.
Who knows what I would have done in her place?
The more hours that pass, the more I regret my anger toward Gen. I
overreacted and took out my pain on her. I was hyped up and agitated
before she walked in the door for reasons that had nothing to do with
her. She should have told me about Eric, but anyone would be hesitant.
I could wait for her to come home to talk, but that doesn t seem good
enough. I m not excited to face critical looks from my old coworkers at
Blue, but I can't let things stand the way they are. I'll try to catch Gen on
her break and apologize for the way I reacted.
Tyler returns home, slumps on the couch, and flips on the television to
motocross. He's wearing the same shirt he had on yesterday and he has
a beer in his hand.
"Can I borrow your car for a little bit, Tyler?"
His eyes flick up. "Sure, what s up?"
"Nothing, just need to talk to Gen about something."
Tyler straightens his leg and pulls his keys from his pocket, tossing
them to me. "When will you be home?"
"In an hour, Grandma."
His mouth twists. "Don't crash my wheels."
I park in the Blue parking garage and walk in the doors closest to

Gen s cocktail lounge, hoping to avoid people. Mason spots me first,
smiles, then glances nervously across the room. I follow his gaze—to
Jaeger holding Gen in a corner of the lounge.
My feet stop moving, my heart drops into my stomach. Gen s arms are
around Jaeger s waist, his hand tucking her head close, comforting her
in the same way he s done with me. I try to swallow, but my mouth is
dry.
I don t know what s real. I thought I knew—thought I d jumped all over
Gen wrongly. Now I m twisted inside. Nothing makes sense. The guy I
believed cared for me in a way no other guy has, is embracing my best
friend. Right after she told me my ex-boyfriend betrayed me with her.
And there s been this distance between her and me.
Jaeger said there was nothing going on between them, but looking at
them . that s hard to believe. I have to clear my head, think rationally.
Whipping around, I stumble into a body, my arms tangling with hard
limbs. Drake uses my imbalance to haul me off the casino floor by my
waist, one arm across the back of my shoulders.
"Let me go, Drake," I growl as he carries me toward an elevator
cove.
"We need to have a little talk, pretty girl." His voice is calm, steady, but
his grip pinches the skin on my shoulder and he s hurting my ribs with
his tight hold.
If he tries to drag me into an elevator, I ll scream my fucking lungs
out.
Drake stops in a relatively quiet section beside the elevators, his chest
blocking my view of the rest of the casino. "I m surprised to see you,
Cali. Didn t think you d show your face after you were fired." Vodka
vapors waft on his breath.
He crosses his arms and shakes his head. His eyes leave me briefly to
glare over his shoulder—at Jaeger hunched protectively over Gen.
Drake s toxic breath, the image of the guy I m falling for with my best
friend, brings bile to my throat. I grab the wall and swallow the sour
taste in my mouth. And realize a moment later how weak that makes
me look.
Straightening my shoulders, I say, "What do you want?"

The look Drake levels at me is ruthless. "Your friend won't be able to
pull the same stunt in here that he did the other night." He taps two
fingers to his temples and raises them to the ceiling. "I m the eyes
inside Blue. One move out of line and I'll have him thrown out." He
cocks his head. "I could be persuaded to put in a good word for you.
Help you get your job back." His gaze trails my body, sending a shiver
of repulsion down my back. "With the right motivation."
I pinch my mouth and hold back a gag. "You re horrible. I must have
been drunk off my ass to let you take me home. Leave me alone,
Drake." I push past him, but he grabs my arm and squeezes until my
fingers go numb.
"Remember who's in charge here." He shakes me, wrenching my neck.
"Show a little respect."
My eyes open wide at the threat. I m not an employee. I have no rights.
This is Drake s world—his word against mine. What he s doing to me is
wrong and looks bad under any circumstances, but how do I know he
didn t drag me to the one place no one can see us? Or that he won t
tamper with the surveillance footage? "You made your point. Let me
go."
Drake releases his hold and plasters a charming smile on his face. "The
offer of help stands."
I don t trust myself to respond—afraid that whatever comes out will
make matters worse. I move toward the exit, glancing over my shoulder
to make sure I'm not being followed. Inside the parking garage, I run to
my brother s car and lock the door the second I m in. The tightening in
my chest from holding my breath ebbs, replaced by a sharp pain as
images of Gen and Jaeger blind me. It could have been innocent—him
holding her—but after what Gen told me this afternoon, doubt nags me.
My head sinks onto the headrest. I thought returning to Lake Tahoe
would help me work through my reservations over grad school. But it s
horrible here.
I have to get out.
The door to the cabin slams shut behind me, but my brother s gaze

remains fixed on the television. He hasn t moved from his position on
the couch. The only difference between when I left and now is that he s
watching a surfing flick instead of motocross. "Tyler, I need to leave."
"Okay," he says without looking up. "I m not planning on going
anywhere. Take the car."
"No. I meant get out of town. Go visit Mom or something, just get away
for a bit. She s been asking me to come."
Tyler lifts his gaze. "Uh, okay. When were you thinking?"
I close my eyes briefly and inhale. "Now?"
"Now. As in, right now? This minute?"
I nod.
Tyler clicks off the television and sets the remote on the couch s arm
rest. "What s up, Cali? What s going on?"
"Everything. Have you ever just needed to get away?" Tyler looks past
me. "Yeah."
"Well, this is one of those moments. I can t stay here another minute."
He slaps his knees with his palms and stands. "Okay, then. Pack your
stuff. We ll call Mom on our way."
Tears collect behind my eyes with love for my brother. Tyler knows
something s up, but he s not pushing for details. He s giving me space.
If I cry, though, he will ask, and I can't deal with that. I blink hard and
swallow. I need to pack.
An hour later, we pull into the drive of Mom s single-level house in
Carson City. It s dark and there s not much to see, but the neighborhood
appears quiet and safe.
My mom opens the front door, pushes out a metal screen, and takes the
first step onto the cement stoop. She clenches her cotton bathrobe
closed. "Nobody s sick or dying?"
"We're fine, Mom," I say as I walk up the driveway.
"All right, then. Tyler, show your sister to the guest bedroom. You can
sleep on the couch."
"The couch?" he groans. "Mom, last week I was in the guest room.
Now I m relegated to the couch?"

"Would you like to sleep on the floor? No? Then quit your bitching and
help your little sister with her luggage."
Tyler tosses my bag over his shoulder and disappears inside.
Mom grabs my hand before I pass. "We ll talk tomorrow about what s
going on."
She always knows when something s up. She s like a human lie
detector.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path
and leave a trail.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Chapter Nineteen
My mom s little rancher has blue carpeting and brown tile counters, but
it s hers. I can tell by the way she flutters around the kitchen the next
morning that she loves it. She s making her famous cheesy eggs while
Tyler sleeps in. After Mom and I woke and started banging around in
the kitchen, he wobbled into the guest bedroom.
She sets a cup of coffee and some toast in front of me, sliding the eggs
from the pan onto my plate. "Okay, Calista. Talk."
I m not sure if it s Mom s voice, her use of my full name, or the soothing
remnants of her perfume, but large tears gather behind my eyes,
creeping down the slope between my nose and cheek.
She rounds the table, scooches my butt over on the seat with her own,
and locks me in a hug. "Shhh. It can't be that bad, honey."
"It's bad." There's so much crap that's built up, I'm not sure where to
start. I begin with the most obvious. I ve gone back and forth, but my
instincts haven t veered. I take a deep breath and look up. "I don t want
to go to law school."
Mom stills for a moment, then rubs my arm. Up and down. Up and
down.
"Do you hate me?"
She pulls back. "Why would I hate you?" "Because I'm not living up to
my potential." She shakes her head. "Cali, you ve always lived up to
your potential. You've never failed at anything you put your mind to."
"Eric dumped me." Might as well get all the humiliating shit out
there.
She snorts. "Never liked him."
"You didn't?" I study her face. "You never said anything."

"I wanted you to figure it out on your own. A mother doesn t tell her
daughter not to date a guy. It's a sure way to push her into his arms."
She nudges me with a wink. "I speak from experience. At least your
father gave me you and Tyler. He also gave you his brilliant brain.
Thankfully, you have my common sense."
"Mom, you're smart."
She smiles. "Yes, honey."
I roll my eyes. This is a common argument. I hate it when Mom puts
herself down. She s had a rough life. She deserves more than she s been
given. She sure as hell doesn t deserve a daughter screwing things up.
Mom takes the seat next to me, giving my ass cheek its spot back on the
chair. "Now, what are you going to do? Would you like to stay here for
a while? I spoke to Connie. She told me you lost your job at the casino."
I spit the gulp of coffee I took back into the cup and pinch my nostrils.
Some of the liquid has gone up my nose. "She did?" My voice comes
out in a high squeak. "And you didn't call me?"
"Figured I'd hear from you soon."
I can't believe my mom isn't lecturing me.
"Didn t I warn you that place is a cesspool? Those people have no
morals."
There s the lecture I expected. All is well in the world. I m only
surprised she isn t accusing me of making a poor decision with school.
I wish she d had this attitude when I was sixteen. Tommy Parson would
have been to blame for sneaking in my window instead of me getting
grounded for allowing it. "Mom, I worked there. You worked there.
Not everyone at the casinos has low morals."
"Well, there are exceptions." She sweeps a lock of gold-red hair from
my eyes. "So, you lost your job, your boyfriend, and you don t want to
go to the school you've worked half your life to get into. Have I
got it all?"
"Shit, Mom. Do you need to spell it out like that?" "Language, sister,"
she scolds, which is as hypocritical as it gets. Mom is where I got my
potty mouth.

I frown. "There s one more thing to add to the list. I m not sure, but ...
there's something going on with Gen."
Mom leans back like she s farsighted. "She okay?"
"I don't know. She's been keeping things from me. I just found out Eric
hit on her while we were dating. She was kind of a mess at the time. She
said she didn t tell me because she was worried I would think she led
him on. I had told her things were great between me and Eric when they
really weren t."
Mom takes a bite of the eggs cooling on her plate and I glance at my
own. No one makes cheesy eggs like my mom. They re the perfect
comfort food.
"Cali, it sounds like she was caught in the middle and didn t want to
lose your friendship."
I spear a forkful of cheese heaven. "I know, but—" Mom sips her
coffee, then sets the mug down, waiting. "—she was with Jaeger and he
was holding her, and Mom, it made me sick," I say in a rush.
"Jaeger? The boy your brother was frien—"
"Yes, yes." I shovel the eggs into my mouth.
"Uh-huh. Okay. So you're with Jaeg now."
"No, Mom! This is not about my love life."
Mom pushes her plate across the table toward the sink. "Are you sure?
Sounds like there s something going on there."
"This is about trust. I don't know who to trust. Gen told me she wasn t
seeing Jaeger, even though they went out, and then I found him holding
her after I discovered she lied to me about Eric."
"And you don t trust yourself with your future. I think I m getting the
picture." She scrubs the dishes in the sink—no dishwasher in her new
digs. She places my toast on a napkin and steals my empty plate. "What
about Jaeg. Do you trust him?"
I press a finger to the napkin, picking up toast crumbs and licking them
off. "I want to. A part of me panicked when I saw them together. It's
partly why I came here." It was the main reason at the time—that and
Drake scaring me—but I m not saying that to Mom. "There s
something going on. I guess I'm afraid it's not going to be good. I
should talk to Jaeger, but I m so messed up, Mom, you know? He s this

accomplished artist with tons of money and I lost my shitty casino job.
If I give in to my reservations about a law career, I can add grad school
dropout to the list."
My mom rolls her eyes. "Oh, the drama. You can t be a dropout if you
haven t attended. Figure out what you want and don t worry what
anyone thinks. Your brother and I will support your decision. We d
rather see you do something you love than something you hate. Have
you any idea how difficult you are to live with when you're not happy?"
"Mom! "
"It's the truth. You're a very passionate person, sweetheart." My face
flames. The last thing I want is for my mom to talk about me and
passion in the same sentence. "You can either be passionately pissed
off, or passionate about something that makes you happy. It's your
choice."
One of my biggest worries was that my mom would be disappointed if
I didn't attend Harvard or some other brilliant law school, but she s
acting surprisingly cool about the whole thing. This should make me
feel better. It does. I just don t want to end up a loser by not going. Most
new college grads struggle to find jobs, often winding up at Starbucks
making minimum wage. Okay, I don t know that for a fact, but it s a
fear.
That afternoon, Tyler and I stretch out on aluminum patio chairs in the
backyard while Mom mans the barbecue. This is normal protocol in my
family. Mom cooks and Tyler and I eat. Neither of us knows how to
boil water. It s extremely hot that Jaeger cooks, and self-preserving on
my part to date him. Perks aside, I care for him and want to believe I
misinterpreted what I saw. Given my state of mind over Gen at the
time, I probably did, but I'm not ready to look into it. Fear is a fickle
bitch.
I dig a scooped chip into the dip and load as much salsa as possible to
piss my brother off. He frowns, hastily dumping more salsa from the jar
into the bowl. "If we run out, you re making a store run."
Bulls-eye. Point one to Cali.
I study the chip in my hand. "Tyler, do you think I m artsy?" He chews
a double-decker salsa-chip sandwich. "Sure. You make those
sketches."
"Doodles . "

If I don t draw, I get grumpy. The doodles are my therapy, but I never
thought about doing it for a living until Jaeger said I was talented.
Artists are poor, right? Well, except Jaeger. He seems to be doing okay,
which is a shocker.
Makes me wonder, though . if I got into an art program, could I do
something with it? I d have to moonlight in town to take art classes
during the day. It's not the worst idea.
Mom rotates the chicken kebabs on her rusted barbecue. She s wearing
a V-neck T-shirt and turquoise shorts. Her pale legs look pretty darn
toned for her forty-eight years. She tucks a lock of flame-red hair
behind her ear. "Have you thought any more about what you want to
do,
Cali?"
We ve been talking about Tahoe and jobs all day. After Tyler woke, I
mentioned the reservations I have regarding school. He shrugged and
said I should do what I want, so no help there.
"I enjoy the company and all," Mom says, "but you'll have to make a
decision soon. You can stay with me, but I doubt Carson has more to
offer than Lake Tahoe. What is it you really want?"
She sets the barbecue tongs on the handle of the grill and plops into the
chair beside me. She tugs my shoulders around so that my back faces
her, and she begins braiding my hair. It s our silent ritual. Mom says it
relaxes her, but it downright puts me to sleep.
"I'm not going to law school, Mom." There, I've said it. I'm making it
official. It was probably official the moment I told her I didn t want to
go, but this is definitive. I don't know why this big decision now, with a
tenuous love life and my livelihood and friendship in the toilet, but I m
taking a leap of faith it will all work out. Mom s hands still, and I look
over my shoulder. "Are you disappointed? You said you wouldn t
be."
She shakes her head and scoots closer. "No, I m not disappointed. Turn
back around." I do as she says, and she starts braiding again. "Tyler isn
t the medical doctor I envisioned the day he came home in sixth grade
and rattled off the name of every bone in the human body, but he s
teaching biology and living somewhere that makes him happy."
Tyler shifts. I wonder what he s not telling. There s a story behind

his long visit.
"I want that for you, sweetheart," Mom continues. "Trust me when I
say you won't be happy working at the casinos for the rest of your life."
From the corner of my eye, I see her shoulders rise and fall. "Do I feel a
sense of panic when you say you ll be staying on at the lake? Yes. It s
beautiful, but the lifestyle in that town can be crude. People come
looking for utopia and wind up broke with an STD and a drug
addiction."
My lip curls. "Gross, Mom."
"It's the truth."
I think about Drake and some of the other people I ve worked with. She
s totally right. The casinos attract people looking to make quick money,
not all of them trustworthy or moral.
"You re capable of so much more, but if you don t want to go to
Harvard, then you shouldn't." She swings the end of the braid over my
shoulder and stands. "I don t want you to ever feel alone in this life. As
long as there is air in my lungs, I'm here for you." She bends and kisses
my forehead, her perfume and the soft feel of her lips a balm to my
frayed nerves.

Chapter Twenty
I spend the next couple of days at my mom s kitchen counter using my
laptop to research art and design classes in Lake Tahoe. The more I
think about pursuing art, the more right it feels. Jaeger put the bug in
my ear during our hike at Fallen Leaf Lake, and if I think back, Gen
nudged me a time or two about my drawings as well, but I never took
her seriously—I wasn't ready.
I m ready now.
Once I knocked down the walls of the narrow corridor that was the road
to my future, possibilities opened up. Options I never considered, but
that were probably always there, waiting to be nurtured. What better
time to try something new than when you have nothing to lose?
I texted Gen when I first arrived to tell her I d be away, but I haven t
contacted Jaeger. He s called several times and left three messages. I
haven t returned a single one. A confrontation needs to happen, but I
have to figure myself out first.
By the time Tyler and I return to the lake, I have pages of information
on classes and informational phone interviews lined up with a couple of
local artists. I know zilch about what it takes to make a living in this
field. I m hoping that talking to other artists will help. I could talk to
Jaeger, but yeah, that s not going to happen. Not with things where they
stand. He and I have other stuff to talk about first. But I can t go there
until I m strong enough.
I ve been sketching like crazy. Now that I ve delved into it, I wish I d
considered a creative art career a long time ago. It still scares the shit
out of me. Art doesn t require a scholarly predisposition, which is what
I ve relied on to get ahead. Art is about creativity and imagination. A
career in this field is a leap of faith that could make me truly happy—or
could land me flat on my face. But considering that my nose has had an
up close and personal view of the gutter, thanks to my ex-boyfriend and
Blue Casino, how much worse can life get?
Since my brother and I have been back, Gen and I have cordially
avoided each other the last couple days. Neither of us has mentioned
the

argument we had before I left, and I haven t asked her why she was in
Jaeger s arms at the casino. Gen hasn t been the most forthcoming when
it comes to Jaeger; I think it's best to talk to him first.
Nearly a week since I fled the casino after seeing Gen in Jaeger s
arms—I muster up the nerve to visit him.
I make two wrong turns and find the correct driveway on the third try.
The particulars of Jaeger s house s location from that one visit are
vague, but I was too chicken to ask Mason for directions. Didn t want
Mason to give Jaeger a heads-up and a reason to refuse me after I ve
avoided him for a week.
I m in luck. His truck is in the driveway.
My heart speeds up and my hands shake. I m usually good with
confrontation, but facing Jaeger has me scared. I may have
misinterpreted what I saw going on between him and Gen at the casino,
but there s also a chance I ll get my heart broken. It s that potential
outcome that has my nerves in a bundle.
I ease Tyler s old Land Cruiser beside Jaeger s truck and step out,
gulping in the pine and earth scent, grounding myself. It s late
afternoon and the sun is low in the sky, casting shadows around the
front yard. A beam of light shoots past the swing where Jaeger kissed
me.
My heart thumps hard as I jog up the front steps to his house and knock
on the door. I pull my hair back and twist it behind my neck and out of
my face. After a long pause, I knock again. I gingerly lean over the
porch and peer in the window. The living room is dim and lifeless.
His car is here, but where is he?
Irrationally, I glance and confirm Jaeger s truck sits in the drive. The
buzz of insects and birds had blurred other sounds when I first exited
the Land Cruiser, my ears ringing from the noise of Tyler s beater, but
now I notice a soft hum coming from the woodshop. He's working?
I make my way around the side of the house and across the pavers. The
sound of a machine stirring the air grows louder.
I m not surprised when no one answers my knock, with the machine
running inside. He can t hear with that racket going on, so I twist the
knob and carefully push open the door.
Jaeger s back is to me. He s in blue jeans and a plain T-shirt that

fits loosely around his waist, hugging the muscles in his back and arms.
He s working with something that looks like a giant sewing machine
with a saw instead of a needle. Attention focused, his gloved hands
carefully maneuver the wood in front of him.
The urge to run to him and wrap my arms around his back overwhelms
me. I want to smell and touch him and be close. But I don't know where
we stand or what I witnessed at the casino. It s enough to watch. Plus, I
don t want him to cut off a finger. Lunging at him while he's operating a
saw probably isn't the best idea.
Jaeger shuts off the machine, squats to adjust something under the
table, and brushes wood shavings from his head. They fall like snow,
and I wonder if that's the point of keeping his hair short.
The air in the shop smells of burnt wood and a faint hint of Jaeger's
aftershave. I breathe in deeply and he stills. He pushes clear protective
glasses to the top of his head and turns.
"Hey," I say.
Expression blank, he doesn t move for a moment, seemingly stunned to
see me here. Slowly, he pulls off his gloves and tucks them into his
back pocket, his eyes darkening.
I move a few steps toward him. "I ve been out of town. I m sorry I didn
t call. I—I needed—"
He looks down my body, and reverence, appreciation, crosses his face,
cutting off whatever lame excuse I was about to give. His gaze stops on
my mouth, a look of hunger sending heated signals to my womb and
breasts.
My eyes widen. How does he do that? Against all rational thought, I
want to spring at him and kiss him all over.
Jaeger rubs his forehead and leans against the table.
"I had to figure some things out," I finish, crossing my arms
defensively.
He follows the motion, his gaze in line with my breasts, taking their
leisurely time back to my face. Naughty, naughty boy—putting dirty
thoughts in my mind. Okay—truth—they were already there.
Stay on track! "I wasn't sure I could trust you."
He gives his head a quick shake. "What?"

God, his deep rumbly voice. Focus! "I saw you with Gen," I say in a
rush. "At the casino. You were holding her."
Jaeger s brows furrow and he peers down, unfocused, as if
thinking. "When?"
"A week ago. I went to visit her and you were there. Your arms were
wrapped around each other."
"Cali, I have no idea—wait, do you mean after that piece of shit
touched her?"
Huh? Someone touched Gen? Like, groped her?
I have no idea what Jaeger's talking about, and that's just sad. It's a
testament to how far apart Gen and I have grown these last few weeks.
"What are you talking about?"
"Some co-worker at the casino groped her—I don't know. You'll have
to ask her for specifics. It happened while I was visiting Mason. She
was shaken up. I talked to her and gave her a hug."
"That's all?"
Jaeger lets out a long breath. "Is this why you ve been avoiding me?
You still think there s something going on between me and Gen?"
I blink several times. Why does it sound reactionary and ridiculous
when he says it? My logic seemed perfectly sound a moment ago. "It s
not as bad as it seems. Things happened. Gen and I are having trust
issues."
"But you can trust me." Anger and frustration fills his voice.
He s right. I had no reason not to trust him. "I m sorry. It s just, well, it
upset me—seeing you with someone else. And with my friend?"
Jaeger stalks across the room and I take a step back. I don t think he ll
hurt me, but instinct dictates I move out of the path of a large,
determined male. He stops abruptly and grabs my hips, pulling me
toward him. My hands fly to his arms for balance, and okay, because he
s hot and his biceps call to me. If the timing weren t so inappropriate,
I'd nuzzle his chest too.
"The only woman I think about is you." He pushes me back and cradles
my head before it slams into the wall. "I ve been pretty direct about my
intentions toward you." Jaeger skims his hands down and around the
backs of my thighs, lifting and wrapping my legs around his

waist.
I grasp his shoulders and he presses me to the wall, anchoring us. "I m
beginning to understand," I say in as calm a voice as I can manage. In
reality, my heart is rampaging inside my chest like a wild animal, my
entire body quivering like some virgin about to be deflowered.
Jaeger runs his nose down my neck, tickling my skin. "You sure? Need
me to be more clear?" His hands slide up my thighs to my ass and
squeeze.
I let out a breathy exhale, eyes unfocused. "It couldn t hurt," I say,
voice thready.
Jaeger kisses my neck, his tongue dipping to the hollow at my throat.
The scruff of his stubble brushes my skin as he drags his mouth to my
lips.
I moan and kiss him with everything I ve held back—everything I
haven t said that s simmered inside from the moment we met. His arms
tighten around me, chest rising and falling more quickly. He rocks his
length right where I want it. A ripple of pleasure shoots through me.
Using his shoulders for leverage, I mimic the move, but it s not enough.
I can t reach all of him while pressed to the wall and I want more.
"Go—" I say, between kisses. "—somewhere else." I wiggle to make
my point, hormones robbing me of speech.
He gets the gist. One arm snakes behind my back, the other under my
rear, carrying me.
Arms wrapped around his neck, I kiss and lick and distract him as best
I can. He s walking blind while kissing me, but I m feeling a tad
impatient. Clenching the back of his shirt, I tug upward, but the dang
thing gets caught on his arms.
He needs his arms to hold me—an obvious problem if more than a tenth
of my brain were operating. "Off," I mumble.
Where is he taking me? I hope it s close and not the house. That s like a
football field away. One of these nice wooden surfaces would—
Suddenly I m free-falling, gripping his shirt and not much else. I land
on soft cushions.
My hands pat the surface beneath me. The old leather couch. Excellent.

Jaeger follows me down.
Now we are getting somewhere.
I moan my approval about the new locale and whip his shirt over his
head, running my hands down his wide shoulders and thickly muscled
chest to the ridges of his abs. My finger traces the waistband of his
loose-fitting jeans, slipping between it and his stomach. His hand
freezes above the breast he's exploring and he lets out a slow breath.
I turn my palm flat—fingers pointed south—and slip beneath his boxer
briefs. The back of my hand grazes his long, hard length, and my
stomach flutters.
He presses his forehead to mine. "Cali," he says in warning.
I spread my fingers apart along his lower stomach and slide through the
hair of his groin, tugging at the skin and tightening places I know are
aching, because I m aching there too.
His arms tense and shake beside my head. He s holding his breath.
"This is it," he breathes carefully. "We re together. Okay? No more
trust issues."
I nod and leisurely lick his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue.
My shirt sweeps over my head in nearly the same second my pants are
yanked down and off my feet. I m naked in two-point-two seconds,
Jaeger s chest between my thighs as he takes my nipple into his mouth.
I moan and lock my legs around his back, rubbing against the muscles
of his stomach. If I weren't hormone-drunk, some of this might seem a
little fast, a little brazen—even for me—but this is Jaeger and I really
don t care.
Want him.
He reaches around and palms my ass before slipping a finger inside me.
In and out that thick, masculine finger goes, every third dip, curling and
slipping over the most sensitive spot.
Want. Now.
I yank beneath his arms to pull him up, but it s like trying to heave a
semi truck. He swirls his tongue around my nipple one last time, eases

his finger out with a couple of last swishes over the spot that has me
panting, and glides his hands up my body, shooting naughty messages
to every pore.
Damn it! His pants are still on. I flip open the snap and push them down
with my feet.
My knees drop to the side and his fat tip rubs at my entrance. I squeeze
his ass. He's huge and silky and I want him inside.
Jaeger breaks from a deep kiss. "Pill?" he whispers in my ear.
"On it. Have you been—?"
"Tested a year ago. The last time I was with someone." Screech. Whoa,
what?
He nudges in a couple of inches, and I lose that train of thought. A
gentle thrust and he s stretching me. He lifts his head and looks in my
eyes. He rocks slowly, going deeper with every movement. My legs
weaken, shaking with pleasure. Our breaths mingle, and I m clinging to
him, my arms like thin brackets around his large body.
I'm panting by the time the first spasm hits. Jaeger's gaze turns hazy and
unfocused, as if he feels my orgasm building and it pleasures him too.
Another spasm shoots from my core, and then I m bucking in
uncontrolled bliss.
Somewhere in the euphoria fog that keeps rolling, I sense Jaeger s pace
pick up. His head dips to the side, kissing my neck. He groans near my
ear, the sound so sexy and deep that another quick spasm rocks me. His
hips surge several more times and then slow, his breathing fast, his
body jolting every couple of seconds with aftershocks.
Jaeger s hand slides under my shoulders and cradles my head, tucking it
beneath his chin as his breathing calms. He wraps an arm around my
back and pulls me close, maneuvering to his side with me plastered to
his front.
I lie still, listening to his heart pounding beneath my ear, utter and
complete peace sweeping over me.
This wasn't sex, it was ... I don't know. Or maybe I do and I don't want
to ponder it.
My eyelids close, sleep pulling me under.

Chapter Twenty-One
I wake to a view of the lake through a window at the foot of the bed.
Faded light filters over the mountain ridges. Soft sheets whisper over
my palms. What the ... ?
I'm in Jaeger's bedroom? The last thing I remember is the couch in his
workshop.
Heat floods my face. That couch will go down in history. At least, it
will go down in my history. Wow—just, wow. Not that my past
experience is extensive, but I d like to think I was thorough with the
few partners I've had. None of them gave me an orgasm through
straight sex. But I should consider this very important finding later.
How the hell did I end up here?
I glance around the bedroom. It s cozy, with a Mission-style dresser
and plain but expensive sheets. I don t remember getting dressed and
walking over. Technically, I m not dressed . Did the man knock me out
with his lovemaking?
Jesus. I sit up and pull the light blue sheet to my chest. Why am I
calling our sex lovemaking? Eric and I never called it that. I tuck the
sheet beneath my legs and around my back as if to protect myself.
Jaeger walks out of the bathroom, a dark blue towel wrapped around
his waist, water beaded on his shoulders. My jaw drops, my breathing
speeds up. Steam from the shower and the scent of his aftershave waft
toward me. He's like a walking aphrodisiac.
His gaze takes in my clamp on the sheets. "Good morning. Everything
okay?"
"Yes, but—" My gaze darts around the room. "—how did we end up
here? I m pretty sure I was sober when I visited you this afternoon, so
"Yesterday afternoon."
Shit, it's morning? I shake my head. "I couldn't have passed out." He
smiles. "You were tired. I carried you here." Memories of the most
amazing orgasm flutter through my mind. He did that to me. Sapped
me of all energy and a little piece of my soul.

"I didn't wake up?"
He shakes his head, his gaze skimming over me again. Only this time,
heat emanates from those eyes. "Are you still tired?" The question is
addressed cautiously, as if he's trying to be sensitive to my needs—but
the man behind the question appears ready to pounce, evidenced by the
massive erection building beneath his towel.
This is dangerous, this attraction. I should be careful.
I shake my head, and he walks over, sliding off the only barrier to his
skin on the side of the bed. Muscles and long limbs, heat, and alluring
clean male scents smack my senses silly. He pulls the sheet from my
body and eases down beside me.
Goose bumps pepper my flesh. My hands go clammy, eager to touch
and be touched. I want to kiss his mouth, the lids of his eyes, his
temples—the place over his heart.
I m in so much trouble.
"Where the hell have you been?" my brother asks after I finally pry
myself from Jaeger s bed. It was not easy. The man persuades. I
honestly think he could have kept at it all day. Whatever happened to
recovery periods?
Gen looks over from the kitchen. She's actually awake, eyes alert,
which is proof of how late in the afternoon it is. "I stayed the night at a
friend's house." Gen s eyes widen briefly. My brother s frown deepens.
"Cali, if you re going to hook-up, answer your damn phone," he
says.
"Oh my God. You 're staying with me. I don't need to check in with you.
And how do you know I stayed with a guy? I could have been with a
friend."
"None of your friends are in town—" "I've made new friends." "—and
you're flushed. Post coitus flushed." Fuck! My lips pinch together. I
storm into the bedroom and close the door, taking a deep breath.
Leave it to my biologist brother to notice and technically define

afterglow.
A knock sounds a moment later. "Cali? Can I come in?" Gen says.
I pull my hair into a bun, open the window and fan myself, scraping
together the remains of my dignity. "Come in," I say.
She shuts the door behind her and sits on the bed. She looks down at her
hands twisted in her lap. "I know we haven t talked much. I ve been
working and you re going through a hard time. I feel like I haven t been
there for you."
Gen has known every guy I ve kissed since we met. She s never learned
about something secondhand, and though it seems right to keep what s
between me and Jaeger private, the strain in our friendship is obvious.
I sit across from her. "That s how I feel. Like I haven t been there for
you."
She smiles bleakly. "You have. You re the strong one. I ve pulled away,
because I—well, I want to be strong. It's in me ..." "Of course you're
strong."
She shakes her head. "No, you say what s on your mind and speak up
for yourself. I want to speak up. I don't want to be afraid anymore."
Gen is reserved and less outspoken than me—most people are—but I
didn't know she's afraid. "What's going on?"
She cradles her elbows and leans into herself. "You know how I don t
talk to my mom?"
I nod. The topic of her mother doesn t come up unless I pry it out of her,
and even then, I get nothing substantial.
"I won t blame my mom for the way I am and the choices I ve made, but
some of the hangups I have are because of our relationship. It s .
unusual. But that s not the point. The point is, I don t want to be afraid
anymore." She tucks a dark lock behind her ear. "There was an incident
a couple of weeks ago at Blue. One of the managers forced his hand
under my shorts and touched me. He would have done more if someone
hadn t interrupted. I m afraid to say anything to the casino. I m worried
that what happened to you—with you getting fired and all—will
happen to me. There are rumors—"
I wave my hands frantically. "Wait, wait, what? Jaeger mentioned

something about a jerk touching you. He didn t say it was one of the
executives or what he did." My mind spins, bits and pieces coming
together. "Who was it, Gen?"
"Some of the executives hang out in my bar after they get off work.
One of them asked me to serve a small group he was hosting. He took
advantage—put me in an uncomfortable situation."
"Who was it? "
"Drake Peterson." Shit, shit.
"I knew I shouldn t have gone up there alone, but I wanted the extra
money—"
I shake my head. "This is my fault." I could have warned Gen about
Drake if I d told her what he did. "Drake took me home the night we
went to the club and came on too strong. Jaeger showed up and
convinced him to leave." Would have beat the crap out of him had he
stayed.
Confusion and concern war on her face. "I didn t know . but this isn t
your fault. That s what I m trying to tell you. I rely on you to fight my
battles, when the reality is that sometimes it s my fault I get into
situations. Or maybe I make myself a target." Her brows furrow and
she clenches her fists. "I used poor judgment with Drake. And God,
Cali, so did you. What were you thinking, going home with him?"
"I wasn't. And I already heard the parental lecture from Jaeger."
Her eyes narrow, scanning my face and neck—very likely taking in the
post coitus flush, as my brother so elegantly put it. "Were you with
Jaeger last night?" she asks gently. I nod, and she shoves my knee
playfully. "Next time, text or something. We were worried."
No animosity fills her expression. I trust what Jaeger said about them,
but you never know. Anyone can hide their feelings. I did.
The not-calling thing was bad. I would have called if I hadn t passed out
from hot, mind-blowing sex.
"So what are these rumors you mentioned?" I say, forcing my mind off
Jaeger, where it s determined to drift, and back to the previous

conversation.
"People have asked me why you got fired."
That makes it sound so awesome. "Go on."
"There's a rumor one of the execs has it in for certain people."
"That s pretty much what they said when they let me go, only subtly. It
s done, Gen. I m not going back."
"Right, but ... if this has happened before—"
"From Drake?"
She stills. "Drake got you fired?"
I shrug. "I assumed. It happened after I rejected him—and Jaeger, well,
Jaeger made sure he remembered it."
I already suspected Drake had me fired. Hearing what he did to Gen,
the way he threatened me when I went in to see her—and saw Jaeger
comforting her. That must have been right after Drake touched her.
He s horrible. I wish there was some way to stop him, but he seems to
have a firm grip on management. They fired me for no good reason,
simply because he told them to.
"Look, Gen, this is bad. No matter what you do about Drake, there
could be repercussions. You have to decide what s best for you. As
much as I like to believe differently, I don't have all the answers." I
press my fingers to my eyes and sigh. "At the moment, I m not sure I
have any answers."
"You're right."
I look up, because ouch.
She sees my expression. "No, not that. You're smart, Cali, and you
usually have good ideas, but I need to make my own choices. I can do
this. I already decided my pride wasn t worth losing my job."
"You re staying on?"
She nods.
The idea of Gen staying at Blue after what Drake did to each of us
makes me leery. What if he touches her again, or worse? She shouldn t
have to hide sexual harassment in order to keep her job. That s horrible.
I don t tell her any of this, even though I want to so badly. I m finished
telling Gen what to do. She s stronger than she knows. At least

she s doing what s right for her and not what others think she should do.
It s more than I can say for myself.
"Hey." She walks around the edge of the bed and sits beside me. "I m
glad we re talking again." My back loosens and I lean into her, resting
my head on her shoulder. "No matter what happens, it s always ten
times worse if I can't talk to you."
"Ditto."

Chapter Twenty-Two
I draw the last shape on my sketch out in the backyard. It s a scene of a
rowboat on the shore of the lake with the sun rising in the background.
The water is made of squiggly circles and from the corner of my eye,
appears to move.
I m calling my drawings sketches instead of doodles after I spoke to a
professional artist yesterday. She told me I need to approach my work
like a business. Apparently, doodles isn t a professional term. The jury
is still out on whether or not I believe I ll thrive with an art career, but
I'm moving forward like the trooper my mom taught me to be.
For the first time in my life, I m not confident I ll succeed. It s scary, yet
surprisingly freeing. The idea of not following through with grad
school still causes me heart palpitations, but my gut tells me I m doing
the right thing.
Last night, I went online and signed up for an art class at the local
community college, as well as a CAD course. I learned during my
midnight Internet search that some of the patterned drawings I ve made
can be used to create textiles. CAD is a requirement for fabric art.
Whorls of heat rise from the cement patio in the late morning sun. It s
only eleven and already I m sweating in my pajama bottoms and bikini
top.
My phone buzzes. I dig it out from where it has migrated beneath my
thigh on the curved lounge chair. My smile grows a mile wide.
Jaeger: Dinner this evening?
Cali: Sure.
Jaeger: I'm taking you to Tao. Plan accordingly. I'll pick you up at 5. I
have something I want to show you.
Immediately, my mind wanders into naughty territory. But he

wouldn t plan that and then expect me to be presentable, would he? Tao
is the best restaurant in town.
What to wear? I pick up my sketch, padding on bare feet into the house.
It s quiet for once. Both Gen and Tyler left early for various reasons. I
find nothing in my closet that won t embarrass me in a nice restaurant. I
have a couple hours to spare. I ll swing by the local shops on my limited
budget and see if I can find a new top that won't break the bank.
My financial reserves are dwindling, but I don t have a
fifty-thousand-dollar annual tuition fee to worry about anymore. I'll
need a job to pay for living expenses and the classes I signed up for, but
I m optimistic that won't be a problem with my work experience at
Blue.
A prudent person wouldn t shop until she had something lined up,
but .
Later that night, I slip on heels, black pants, and a short-sleeved, light
blue blouse with a crisscross back that I found on sale at my favorite
boutique. The color offsets my hair, and the front dips low. The top
shows a respectable amount of cleavage, except I m wearing a push-up
bra, so the effect is just shy of obscene. I feel a slight twinge at
spending money on the blouse, but I ll start looking for a new job
straight away.
I walk into the living room, where Gen and Tyler are fighting over the
remote.
"You re here rent-free!" Gen says. "You don t get control of the remote
too."
"We re not watching What Would William Pelt Do? I might as well
de-ball myself right here."
Gen lifts a finger, her eyes closed. "A—that s gross. B—William Pelt is
a hockey player. He's an athlete. You love sports!"
Tyler looks to me in exhaustion.
"Leave me out of this," I say. "Gen, if he doesn't let you watch the
show, record that shit. William Pelt is hoooot." Not as hot as Jaeger, but
then again, no one is.
"Tyler," Gen singsongs. "If you let me watch this, I ll make you
popcorn."

His hand darts out and tickles her under the arm. She screams, and he
grabs the remote while she s disabled. "Dude, you re gonna have to
offer more than popcorn to get this back."
Gen glares at him, rubbing her armpit. Tyler s tickles hurt like hell. He
burrows deep. "You have the mentality of a fourteen-year-old. How do
your students take you seriously?"
"I ve got skills to pay the bills," he says, and flips through channels.
"I take that back. You re like, ten, because I haven t heard that juvenile
statement since fifth grade." Gen sighs and checks the time on the wall
impatiently. The show must begin soon. "Fine, I ll do a load of
laundry." Tyler keeps flipping. "Two loads?" Her face brightens and
she crosses her arms. "I ll set you up with one of the cocktail waitresses
at
Blue."
Tyler stops channel surfing and eyeballs her. I grab my purse and steal
a twenty from his wallet when he s not looking. He wouldn t want me
stranded without cash. I m doing him a favor by planning ahead. "Keep
talking," he says.
"One of the pretty ones." Her expression is all innocence in a way only
Genevieve can pull off, but I know better. She may not have gotten
straight As in school like Tyler and me, but that girl has street smarts.
All the exceptionally pretty waitresses at Blue are as dumb as
rocks—not that pretty girls are necessarily mentally hindered. Gen is
an example of gorgeous and intelligent mixed in one, but in the case of
the other Blue waitresses, the stereotype holds true.
"Done," he says, and hands her the remote. She does a victory dance on
the couch, complete with bouncing and fist pumping. Tyler stares at her
chest, his rapt expression indicating the victory dance alone was worth
the sacrifice. Gross.
A knock sounds at the door. My heart speeds up. "Okay, kids, I m off."
I lunge for the knob. I'm not ashamed of Jaeger or our relationship. I'd
just rather not face "the parents" on the couch.
Too late.
"And when will you be home?" Tyler asks, his domestic debate
forgotten. I glance back and he s scrutinizing me. He eyes my cleavage

and frowns.
"If I m lucky, not till tomorrow. Toodle-oo! " I pinky wave and open
the door. Stepping out, I bump into a confused Jaeger and yank the door
shut. I slump against the surface. "Don t go in there. It s dangerous."
He chuckles, "Okay." He grabs my hand and leans down, kissing me
softly on the lips. Tingles flutter in my belly just from that one delicate
touch. His gaze dips to my top, catching appreciatively on my chest. He
looks at the rest of my outfit and smiles. "You look beautiful."
Mission accomplished with the new top. I knew the expense would be
worth it.
Jaeger s wearing a button-down green shirt that brings out the green in
his eyes. He looks edible, and smells it too. I wrap my arms around his
waist and hug him tight. "I missed you."
His face dips to the top of my head and he breathes in through my hair.
"Same here." After a moment, he loosens his hold. "Come on. I've got
something to show you." Excitement and a bit of shyness play on his
face. He's often quiet, but I've never seen him nervous.
What is this surprise?
Jaeger drives us to his house and my original suspicions resurface. I
quickly reject them. Not that sex with Jaeger won t play a part in the
evening if I have a say, but Jaeger s tapping the steering wheel as if he s
jumpy. Something else is going on.
We walk around to the workshop. He unlocks the door and steps aside
for me to enter. The sun hasn t set, but lies low in the sky, leaving the
workshop shadowed without the overheads. He flips on the lights.
"Is this a replay of the other day?" I tease.
He looks at me, heat and desire flaming behind his gaze. "No, and you'd
better not put ideas in my head or we won't make it to dinner."
He rests his hand on my lower back, scorching the flesh beneath, and
guides me across the room to where he keeps his final works. Only a
few remain on the tiered shelves today, about half as many as last time.
I ll have to ask him how he sells his stuff. Good for research.
It s strange how we both turned to art after the life we d mapped didn t
work out. I d never considered art and design before I returned to

Tahoe, but I ve been thoughtlessly sketching since fourth grade on
napkins, notebooks, and just about any scrap of paper that falls into my
hands. Jaeger and I are so different on the surface. He s quiet and I m
outgoing, but underneath, our passions are the same. On many levels.
Jaeger steps away and pulls out a tablet about four by four feet in size
and covered with a painter s drop cloth. He sets it on the wall display
and removes the cover. For a moment, I think, wow, that black drape
really highlights the wood nicely, and then my focus settles on the
design.
What the ...? "Jaeger?"
"Gen happened to show Mason and me the design you made on a
napkin during one of your breaks. I asked her if I could borrow it." The
design is the abstract of the lake. "I also saw the sketch you left on the
couch when I came to pick up Gen. Cali, you have crazy talent."
A naughty glint flashes in his forest-green eyes. "I ve shown you how
special I think you are. This—" He points to the piece in front of us.
"—is my way of showing you how special I think your art is."
Gen ... sneaky, sneaky, wonderful best friend. A few things come
together. "Does this have anything to do with your clandestine date
with my best friend?"
This is more than Jaeger telling me he thinks I m talented. He s telling
me he likes me, elevating the wooing campaign—the one I only
recently realized exists—to new heights.
He smiles, exasperated, and shakes his head. "I wanted Gen to look at
the early version. I hadn't gotten your permission to use the sketch and I
wasn t sure how you d react. I brought her to my place to check it out
and tell me if she thought you'd be okay with it."
Well, shoot. How was I supposed to know their date was about me? I
believed Jaeger when he told me nothing was going on between them,
but I always wondered why they'd gotten together that day.
I feel like a total jackass. The amount of planning and work Jaeger must
have put into creating this piece blows my mind.
He shoves his hands in the pockets of his dark slacks when I don t say
anything. "Well? What do you think?"
The sketch, replicated on wood, gives the drawing dimension and

depth, with the outermost lines advancing as though the center is
pulling you in. "It s really good. Your carving, that is."
"Your drawing is really good. Look—" He steps closer and links our
fingers. "—I don t want to pressure you or anything, but I have a client
who commissioned my work. She s looking for something special. I d
like to show her your sketches as the design for a carving. Gen let me
borrow the few you ve given her, but I can show this lady whichever
ones you feel comfortable with."
"Yeah, sure," I say hesitantly. I can t see anyone wanting to buy a
carving of my work. But then, that s the point. To create designs people
will want in their homes and businesses. "Let me at least convert the
ones you have on napkins and on the backs of bills onto actual artists
paper before you show her options."
He laughs. "I really don t think she ll care. She s got a discerning eye."
He pulls me close until I bump into his hard chest. He wraps his arms
around my back, his long limbs flanking my hips. "She knows
something good when she sees it."
In heels, my mouth aligns with his jaw. I rise on my toes and kiss his
lips. "Thank you. For the carving."
"Oh, that's not for you," he grins.
My head tilts back in mock incredulity. "What do you mean, it s not for
me?"
"It's going above my bed, but you can visit it whenever you want." His
hands shift and squeeze my ass at the same time his mouth takes mine.
Thirty minutes later, we arrive for our reservation at Tao. I think I ve
met my match in the bedroom department. We didn t actually go there,
though Jaeger was ready and willing. After several deep kisses and
much teasing about who would get the carving—I won, of course—I
put the brakes on the heated make-out session. Not cool to walk into a
fancy restaurant with smeared mascara and bed head. Not when we can
continue what we started later.
I m looking forward to my new art. That puppy is going up right next to
the orange and yellow needlepoint of a sunflower in the chalet—Gen s
and my new name for the heap we live in.

Natural-modern meets horrifically outdated fusion. "Table for two,"
Jaeger tells the maître d'.
"Right this way, Mr. Lang. Good to see you this evening." The host, in
a dark suit, grins.
Does Jaeger come here often? Before I can ask, Jaeger raises his hand
for me to follow the maître d . The man holds two leather menus and is
rapidly walking away.
The maître d' escorts us past elegant, white cloth-covered tables.
Mirrors behind a full-length bar make the room appear twice as wide
and capture windows that look out onto the lake at the far end.
Geometric wooden chandeliers dangle in the center of the high ceiling.
Wood panels hang to the left—their style familiar.
I glance suspiciously at Jaeger. He s looking straight ahead,
maneuvering around our table to pull out my chair. Our section is
private, with the best view of the lake and mountains.
Menu in hand, maître d gone, I glance at the murals again. They re
larger than the ones in Jaeger s shop, but I recognize his stamp. "Jaeger,
are those yours?"
His gaze flickers to the wall, then back at the menu, as if his art on
display in one of the best restaurants in town is no big deal. "Tao is a
client."
Holy shit. My boyfriend is famous. Well, maybe not famous, but he s
an important artist to be on center display in a place like this.
I grab his hand and link our fingers while I peruse the menu. I have no
right to be, but I m proud of what he s accomplished. This summer has
challenged me with heavy decisions and painful low moments, but I
don t regret the time I ve spent with Jaeger. It s been some of the best of
my life.
He squeezes my fingers and smiles. "The scallops are excellent and so
is the—"
"Jaeger!" A high-pitched female voice violates our perfect bubble. The
woman, a few years older than me, stands behind Jaeger in jeans and a
T-shirt. I didn t see her walk up. Then again, when I m with Jaeger, it s
difficult to notice anyone else. She glances uncomfortably to the
patrons on her right, who are staring, then back at Jaeger.

His brow furrows. He shifts in his seat and looks back. The side of his
face that I can see pales, and he loosens his grip on my hand. "Kate?"
"Can we talk?" she says. She smiles at him as if to disarm, but there s a
plaintive desperation beneath. Alarm bells go off in my head.
No. Don't ruin this. Whoever you are, leave. Don't take away the best
thing that's ever happened to me.
Jaeger faces me again, his gaze fixed on the table. He glances up, his
expression haunted before his mouth turns up in a semblance of a
smile. "I ll be right back, okay?"
I nod stiffly. He grips my hand one last time before letting go and
following the woman to the entrance of the restaurant, where Jaeger s
sister stands with the maître d . Why is Kerstin here?
I pound my water and wait for Jaeger to return. Twenty minutes pass
before he walks down the aisle to our table, rubbing his brow. He looks
up, his eyes serious. "I'm sorry." He swallows, his gaze distracted.
"There s a family emergency. We ll have to do this another time."
"Is everything okay?" Obviously not, but what do I say without
sounding like I m prying, which is exactly what I m doing. Who is this
woman? And why is he ditching me for her? I stand and grab my purse.
Jaeger walks me out of the restaurant before answering. "That was
Kate. My ex-girlfriend." He opens the passenger door and helps me
into his truck, sagging against the frame of the cab as if he needs the
support to help him stand.
"Which ex-girlfriend?" Maybe there were a bunch and this one is some
random, innocuous ex who happened to be at the same restaurant.
Ex-girlfriend and innocuous don't exactly go together, but it could
happen. I m in full denial mode.
"Cali, you re the only girlfriend I ve had in four years. Kate s my ex.
The ex. The one who dropped me after my accident."
Of course his ex would show up after he s moved on. That s Murphy s
Law. But he moved on with me, and I m pretty damn happy

with him. I don t want to consider how happy, because it will probably
break me if it ends.
"She said—" He pushes off the cab and straightens, though he looks
about to topple. "She said she had a kid. That the girl's mine. She wants
us to be a family."

Chapter Twenty-Three
My mind goes utterly blank, and then a riotous array of facts and
questions, mixed with a few expletives, clamor to get out.
How could this happen? She can't have him. I—I ... like him. A lot. A
real lot. Why did she wait until now to tell him? It doesn't make sense.
She dumped him, and he was in and out of physical rehabilitation for a
year. He said he never saw her again ... he wouldn't have known if she
was pregnant.
Fuck. Just—fuck.
I don t remember the drive to my place. It passes in a flash, and then
Jaeger is walking me to the front door. "Let me find out what s going
on." He breathes in shakily. "What really happened ... I don't trust her.
There were rumors after we split that she was unfaithful. I'll find out the
truth, then I ll call, okay?" He pecks me on the cheek and walks to the
truck.
This is not how I envisioned our night ending. How could something so
right go so terribly wrong? Am I jinxed?
Jaeger looks up from inside the truck, a pained expression on his face,
before he turns the ignition and eases out of the driveway.
I swallow the knot forming in my throat and open the door to the chalet.
Gen s banging around in the kitchen while Tyler sprawls on the couch.
He sits up. "What happened? Why are you back so soon?"
I slump on the blue recliner, staring straight ahead, attempting to
process what I don't want to believe. "Jaeger's ex interrupted our date."
I wave my hand, a crazed sensation rising in my chest. "Just showed up
in the middle of the restaurant. Told him she had a kid—and it was his."
Tyler's eyes bug out. "What?'
Gen walks into the living room, an oven mitt on her hand. She doesn't
cook, so the image is absurd. Just like the rest of this evening.
I drop my face into my hands and squeeze my eyes closed. "Can we not
talk about this?" After a second, I realize hanging my head allows
gravity to pull the tears closer to the surface. I look up and swallow,

blinking several times.
Gen looks to Tyler, widening her eyes pointedly.
His mouth is still open. He sees her expression and nods. Pulling out his
phone, he starts feverishly tapping out a text.
"Leave him alone, Tyler," I say. "He s trying to figure out what s going
on. He doesn't know, either."
Tyler fingers continue flying over his iPhone.
I stand and walk to the bathroom. "I'm going to bed." I remove my
makeup, then change in the bedroom, hanging up the pretty blue blouse
I wasted my money on. I lie down, but I can't sleep. My chest hurts.
The sounds of Gen and Tyler chatting quietly in the living room filter
beneath the door. That's when the first tear rolls down my cheek.
I won t do it. I won t cry over another guy this summer. It s pathetic.
More tears roll, landing on the collar of my homely flannel pajamas.
Okay, I ll cry tonight, but that s it. No more after tonight, unless . please
don't let there be an unless. Please let this be a big, horrible mistake.
Jaeger hasn't called in two days. I'm dying.
I ve gone from staring at my phone, to spending hours sketching
beneath the trees, to walking aimlessly around the neighborhood until I
wind up at the lake. On the plus side, my arms are getting ripped from
all the rocks I m cathartically hurling into the water.
Every time I pick up the phone to call Jaeger, I remember he said he d
call when he had things figured out. He s never hesitated to get in touch
in the past. I can only assume he s still dealing with his ex. Or getting
back together with her. It s difficult not to think the worst, but a part of
me hangs on to the hope that this will all turn out to be some ginormous
mistake.
I ve scoured online job listings for South Lake Tahoe and have sent out
resumes and online applications. The waiting around is driving me
crazy; job hunting kills time and distracts me.
My classes don't start for a few more days. If I work at least thirty

hours as a waitress or a dealer at another casino, I can swing living
expenses and costs for community college. The student fees aren't
astronomical like they are at Harvard and other programs. With new
classes, a new job—basically a new life—I might survive getting my
heart crushed. Maybe.
Okay, I m not sure. Jaeger snuck up on me and now I have all these
feelings I ve never experienced before. It s going to break my heart if he
ends our relationship. Oddly, running off to a law program far, far away
would be easier than sticking around to watch the guy I ve fallen in love
with torn from my arms.
In love? Okay, that's enough introspection for one morning.
I walk inside the chalet—the patio has become my office and art
sanctuary.
"Where's Gen?" I ask my brother, who is sitting at the kitchen table,
typing on his computer. "Said she was going out."
"Did she say where?" Our talk helped heal some of the distance
between us, but we haven t had time to catch up on everything. These
past few weeks, I figured Gen was hanging out with Nessa, but now I
wonder.
Tyler pauses and takes a gulp from his coffee mug, the words World s
Best Cat Mom scrawled across the front. Either he s less choosy about
his mugs than either me or Gen, or he s being ironic.
"Nope. Hey, what do you think of that Nessa girl? She available?"
Okay, that came out of left field.
I walk into the kitchen and pull out ingredients for a sandwich. I have
an interview this afternoon with the casino across from Blue. It s a
smaller establishment, and I m being interviewed by the head of
Gaming. I have anxiety over this, considering the last head of Gaming
fired me, but these people don t seem to put on the same airs as the
management at Blue. Maybe talking to upper management at their
casino is a good sign.
"I don t know if Nessa s available. What happened to Gen setting you
up with a Blue waitress?"

Tyler s face contorts. "Shit, Cali. That girl was crazy. She got
hammered and crawled on my lap. In the restaurant. I felt like a virgin
preserving my virtue."
"You have virtue?"
"I guess I do," he says proudly.
I chuckle, inadvertently inhaling a piece of bread I had popped in my
mouth. I hack until it comes back up.
"Easy there, girl. Don't kill yourself. It wasn't that funny."
"I wish I could have been there."
"No, you don't. She was a damned piranha."
"A man-eater? Are you serious?"
"She tried to unbutton my pants!" Astonishment fills his voice.
"You're such a hot babe, Tyler. How do you manage?"
"Don t mock, Calzone. You can t see it because you re my sister, but I
am a commodity."
Complaining about that horrific nickname results in increased usage, so
I bite my lip. "If that s the case, why did you need to be set
up?"
He shrugs. "Gen offered, and I thought I'd give it a try." He wags his
head slowly. "Never again, Cali. Never. Again."
I laugh and walk into the bedroom to change and get ready for my first
casino interview.
Paul something-or-other, the head of Gaming at the casino across from
Blue, looks at his notes, his mouth pinched. "Ah, yes, Cali." He drums
his fingers on the desk and stops when he realizes he s doing it. "My
assistant just reached your previous employer. I apologize for having
you come all this way, but it seems . well, it seems we can t offer you a
position."
What? A fly could land on my tongue and I wouldn't be able to close
my mouth. With my experience at Blue, I m a shoo-in for the dealer
position.
An uncomfortably long pause ensues, while I attempt to process what
he said. "I'm sorry. I don't understand." The interview has barely
started. I haven't had a chance to screw up his questions.

Paul nods, his hands clasped together. The tic near his eye does not
bode well. He doesn t come from the same cold stock as the gaming
manager at Blue. He can't hide his discomfort.
"Because you came all this way, I ll tell you that Human Resources
confirmed your employment at Blue, then transferred the call to a
manager. The manager didn t go into specifics, but said he would not
hire you again. I apologize for the inconvenience, but that s reason
enough for us to eliminate you from consideration."
"But—but—"
I was told before I left Blue that the dissolution of my position wouldn
t reflect poorly considering it was an issue of fit, as long as I wrote a
letter of resignation. Which I did.
Paul stands and extends his hand. "I wish you the best, Ms. Morgan."
My legs lift me, slowly and hesitantly as if they, too, can t believe this.
I shake my interviewer s hand and smooth my navy skirt with
trembling fingers. Face burning, I pass the receptionist at the end of the
hall and press the elevator button to the bottom floor.
How will I find work if Blue doesn t give me a decent reference? My
other experience, working at a florist shop and as a tutor, won t help me
find a casino job that pays well enough. I got the position at Blue
through a friend of my mom s. I need the Blue reference as a stepping
stone.
The next day, two more casinos call and cancel interviews. The last
place asked a couple of questions and told me they d call after my
references had been checked. I haven't heard back.
A restaurant—I m getting desperate and put in a call to a friend of a
friend—said the same thing the first hiring manager did. That they
spoke to someone at Blue who couldn't recommend my work.
I didn't even do anything wrong at Blue—except piss off Drake.
Is he blackballing me? That would be just excellent.
I have no job, I m running out of money, and my future is tenuous. Add
to that the fact I haven t heard from my boyfriend in the four days since
his baby-momma came back into town, and I m ready to pitch a tent
near the ice cream aisle.

I broke down and called Jaeger this afternoon. I told myself I d wait
until he called, but he hasn't and I couldn't hold out any longer. Am I
being dumped? Again?
Jaeger didn't answer, so I left a message. He hasn't called back.
Four days. Four days since Kate interrupted our date at Tao, and no
word from Jaeger. Any normal human being would assume it s over. I
should have learned after Eric, but I can t wrap my head around it.
Everything with Jaeger was different. I knew it was over with Eric
when he didn t call. With Jaeger, I m not sure I can believe it s over
until I hear it from him.
I ve signed up for classes, but I have no way to pay for them. I refuse to
mooch off my mom after she spent years financing college. I m not
even sure she could afford to help me, now that she has a mortgage. A
crazed desperation drives me these days.
I work through the second pint of butter pecan and ponder the fact I
might end up attending law school after all. At least at Harvard I have a
loan established that will cover living and tuition. And isn t that ironic?
All this introspection and reinvention to end up right where I
started—miserable, but surviving. There s got to be more to life than
this.
The front door bolt scrapes and Gen walks in. It s after one in the
morning and she s dressed in tight jeans and a slinky tank. Tyler s still
out with one of his buddies.
I raise an eyebrow. Gen doesn t just look beautiful tonight, she looks
hot. Like, trying to impress a guy hot. I m instantly suspicious.
"Where've you been? Did you go out with someone?"
For a moment she looks like a teenager slipping in after curfew. She
sinks onto the couch, glaring at my ice cream. "How much of that have
you eaten this week?"
I study the carton. "This week?"
She lets out a nervous laugh. "Cali ..."
"Five pints?"
She pokes my belly. It s stuffed with slushy goodness. "I think you
need to cool it with that. Time for an intervention."
That s funny. I m usually giving Gen interventions about the

smutty books she s addicted to—trashy TV I fully support—and her
poor taste in men.
My, how things have changed.
I glare at her and reload my spoon, but I can't bring it to my mouth. I am
stuffed. I ve eaten so much ice cream these last few days I ve grown
immune to the sugar high, like a junkie. "I don t need an intervention. I
need a job. I need a life." My voice catches on that last
bit.
"I know, hon." She drapes her arm around my shoulders. "You ve had
some challenges, but it's time to pick yourself up."
"How?" I sink lower and curl into her. Being a loser sucks. "I don t
know what I m doing."
"Yes you do. You re an artist. You took all those fancy classes back in
college, because it was easy for you and it s what other people would
have done if they had your brains. But now you need to think about
how you want to live the rest of your life."
Gen s been dealing with the deep stuff while I ve lived a relatively
charmed existence. Finances were tight, but I had a smooth home life.
Gen, meanwhile, mentioned a few of the trials she grew up with living
with her mom, none of them good. It s a wonder she came out normal.
She s stronger and wiser than she knows.
"I have, and it s not working out. I should just go to law school," I
mumble stubbornly. "It's not too late."
Gen pinches my chin and lifts my head until she s staring me down.
"Don t throw your life away because you re scared." There s strength
behind her words. She s mentioned her fears before and how they
crippled her. She s speaking from experience.
I thought I had everything figured out, but it was artificial, shallow. I
should have focused on my own life and left Gen to deal with hers.
She's doing fine without me meddling.
Pity party is over. I squish the top of the carton back on the ice cream
and set it on the floor.
Gen watches me approvingly. She shifts and taps her toe, her chin
propped on her fist. She looks pretty and powerful. My BF has changed
these last two months. She s still her, just more confident. I thought I

was confident, and maybe I am, but it was because others told me what
I was doing was fantastic, not because it was what I wanted in life.
When I get out of this, I'll be stronger and it will be genuine. I'll have
confidence because I'm doing what makes me happy, not just what's
expected.
"I d bet money Drake has something to do with Blue giving you poor
references. You ll have a hard time finding a job."
"I know, and I've already considered he's probably behind it."
Gen s eyes narrow as she gazes absently across the room. She nods as if
she s having a silent conversation with herself. "I ve already put in a
call to Nessa. I'll follow up. We'll find something."
I close my eyes and let out a weighty sigh. It s difficult to imagine there
s a job out there that doesn t require references and still pays enough to
cover my expenses. As much as the job situation upsets me, it s not the
thing hurting me the most right now.
Gen squeezes my hand. "I don t know why he hasn t called, Cali," she
says softly. "He s dealing with stuff. Big stuff. Have you tried talking to
your brother? Has he heard anything?"
"Jaeger s off the grid. He s not taking calls. He never returned Tyler s
texts."
"Give him time. A few days isn t long, considering what he s dealing
with. He s one of the good guys."
"I know." My eyes bead up with tears. I shake my head. "This hurts
worse."
"Worse than Eric," she says, understanding without me having to say it.
"Losing Eric was nothing compared to the pain of . My pride took a hit
with Eric and I was sad, but this . this is like someone took an ice pick
to my heart and punched a few thousand holes in it." I buckle and lay
my head in her lap.
Gen strokes my head for several seconds. "There s only one thing to do
in this situation."
"Apply for a heart transplant?" I mumble.
She reaches over me, smashing my skull on her lap in the process. The
television clicks on and I look up. She s running through our DVR list.
The chalet is ancient, but it has a modern television system.

Obviously, a man owns the rental. What Would William Pelt Do? starts
up.
"We ogle hot William for twelve to fifteen hours until our minds go
numb," Gen answers.
As solutions go, this one isn t bad. Gen and I watch William s abs and
his dating mishaps for the next couple of hours. I end up laughing so
hard my ice cream gut cramps.
Life could be worse.

Chapter Twenty-Four
Jaeger finally called this morning while I was in the shower. It s what I
wanted and what I dreaded. I haven t called him back. I m scared. If we
don t talk, I can believe for a little longer that I still have a wonderful
new boyfriend. Focus on the positives, like the fact that Gen lined up a
job interview for me this afternoon. She was texting back and forth
with Nessa last night during our William marathon and apparently
scheming. I woke to a note tacked to the fridge that she must have left
after I'd passed out in bed.
Sallee Construction, Pinecone Chalet Business Center. Interview with
John Sallee at 2p.m. Mention me and Nessa and don't be late!
The irony of how this summer began, with me thinking I had
everything figured out, determined to help Gen, and how it s ending
with our positions reversed, has not escaped me.
I would have liked to have grilled Gen about this interview, but she left
early—Gen, the thou-shall-not-rise-before-ten person. Something has
gotten into her. She is not herself lately, but I'm not complaining
because she got me an actual interview. I managed to squeeze a couple
of details out of her via text before she said she d be going out of range.
Nessa knows the owner, and Gen said to bring my sketches. She didn't
mention what the position was for, but I imagine it has something to do
with art. Who cares if it doesn't? I'm desperate.
Fingers crossed, I pull up to the Pinecone Chalet Business Center. If
this job doesn t work out, I m not sure what I ll do. I threatened myself
with going to Harvard, but I won t. In fact, I notified the university this
morning that I won t be attending. If this job doesn t pan out, I ll find
another. It might not pay as much, and I ll have to put off art classes for
a while, but it ll be the beginning of something that feels right.
The receptionist at Sallee Construction has on a pair of light wash jeans
and a purple top, her blond, frizzy hair pulled back in a scrunchy. She s
the complete antithesis of the receptionist who handed me my

closing papers at Blue. I'm already optimistic.
"Just a moment, honey." She types on her keyboard with the tips of her
stubby finger nails and makes a note in a log to the side of her desk.
"Okay." She beams. "What can I do for you?"
"I m Cali Morgan. I have an appointment with John Sallee. Genevieve
Tierney and Nessa Villanueva referred me."
"He's expecting you. Go right on back. First door on your left." She
smiles and turns back to her computer.
John Sallee s office is open when I walk up. He s flipping through
documents on his desk as if searching for something. I knock. "Hello?"
He looks up, startled for a moment, before a wide smile sweeps his
face. "You must be Cali." He pushes the stack he shuffled to the side,
though I m not sure why. His desk is covered in papers and rolled-up
blueprints, as is the rest of his office. Shuffling things around won t
create space; he d need a shredder for that. "Come on in."
I take a seat across from John and sit up to see him over the mountain of
crap on his desk. He has one of those friendly faces with dark, tanned
skin and deep laugh lines that match his smile.
"So, I hear you need a job," he says without preamble.
I'm like a charity case. "Yes, sir. I do."
"And you re friends with Gen and Nessa?"
"Gen is my best friend. We went to college together at Dawson
University. I met Nessa through her." I don't mention the casino. John
can read about it on my resume—I m not hiding the fact that I worked
there—but I m not going to encourage him to contact them. He d
receive the same poor feedback about my employment every other
hiring manager did.
He nods, considering me from across the desk. "Gen said you re
passing up an opportunity to attend Harvard Law to pursue art." I
thought John was Nessa s contact? When would Gen have spoken to
him? John whistles. "You sure you want to do that?"
My chin tips up. "I've been considering a different career all year." The
truth is, I ve been considering how I wasn t looking forward to law
school all year. I didn t realize until this summer how much I d been
dreading it. In junior high, the fact that I liked arguing with people

seemed a good enough reason to pursue law, but not now. It's taken me
a while to figure that out. I'm stubborn that way.
"Mm-hmm. Well—" He looks at a piece of paper in front of him. "It
says here you're taking a CAD course."
"It begins tonight."
"And you took upper division economics at Dawson and are proficient
with mathematics."
"Uh, higher mathematics, yes."
If he wants me to perform advanced calculus, we re good. If he asks me
which way is left or to do simple addition, my brain might implode.
The only way I got away with dealing at the casino was by memorizing
the card combinations.
"Okay, well, I've got an in-house architect who's been riding me to hire
an assistant with CAD experience. Once you learn CAD, you ll work
exclusively with him. Until then, you ll do odd jobs for the architect
and engineer. An artist comes in handy more than you would think in
this business. You ll be asked to do anything from making coffee runs
to sketching a foundation. I ll pay you a base salary with benefits.
You'll get a raise with your CAD qualifications."
John goes over some figures, and with a few quick calculations on my
iPhone back at the car, I realize I can actually survive on the salary. It s
not as much as I made as a dealer, but once my pay increases with the
CAD skills, I ll make enough to live comfortably.
More important, it s a job. With health benefits. I could kiss Gen and
Nessa right now.
I m to start the day after tomorrow. John said he d schedule a staff
meeting and lay down the law so his co-workers don t pull me apart
assigning me to projects. He s actually eager to have me on board, and
I'll be drawing—okay, and making coffee runs, but still. This work will
pay bills and give me practical experience as an artist.
John never asked for references. My connection to Gen, the few
sketches I brought per Gen's suggestion, and my transcripts from
college were enough for him to hire me.
I'm so excited I'm shaking. I pull up to the chalet and Tyler is sitting on
the cement pad that is our front porch. His legs are outstretched

in the dirt. He looks up, and the permagrin I drove home with fades.
Something s wrong. His eyes are fixed and tense, his mouth stiff. I get
out of the car and cross to him. "What happened?"
Tyler picks up a brown pine needle and twists it in his fingers. "I spoke
to a friend who ran into Jaeger s sister."
My heart thumps heavily inside my chest. I drop beside him, dust from
the powdery soil smearing my navy interview skirt. "Just say it."
Tyler bends his legs and props an arm on his knee. "Jaeger s ex has
moved in with him."
The pain hits me like a bullet, instant and sharp. I swallow and wobble
to my feet, gripping the side of the house.
Tyler looks up. "Cali?"
I open the front door and walk into the bedroom, locking the door
behind me.
It s over. I don t need to hear the truth from Jaeger and allow things to
drag out the way they did with Eric. That would kill me.

Chapter Twenty-Five
Jaeger calls and texts several more times. I delete his number from my
phone.
During the next couple of days, I stay busy in classes and at my new
job, but it hurts. It hurts so badly. It s like the knowledge of Jaeger and
Kate together has charred my heart, and left an ugly, thick scar in its
place.
My first day of work, I met all the guys at Sallee Construction. That s
what my workplace consists of—a bunch of dudes, the middle-aged
receptionist, and me.
I get lots of attention.
The older men treat me like I m their daughter, and the younger ones
check me out when they think I m not looking. The architect and civil
engineer are among the older pack and keep me busy on various
projects.
I worried I d be fetching coffee and donuts until I learned CAD, but that
hasn t happened. Bill, the architect, saw my drawings the first day and
arched his brow. He immediately asked me to produce an artist s
rendition of an upscale strip mall for a project south of the casinos,
complete with landscape specifications. I ve had to look up various
regional flora, which give me ideas for new doodles—I mean,
drawings—in my free time.
I m taking one morning and one evening class and squeezing work in
between. I haven t figured out how I ll manage to get to and from either
place on a regular basis without a car, but between lifts from Gen and
Tyler and the bus, I ve managed so far.
Almost everyone in my morning art class is female, while everyone in
my evening CAD class is male. I ve talked to a couple of people from
both courses and find each group vastly different, yet equally nerdy in
their own right. I m the biggest nerd of all, because I m in both classes.
My geekiness spans the spectrum.
The evening CAD course is the most difficult to get to because Gen has
to work and Tyler wants a social life. I asked around on the first day,

and one of the guys in my class was willing to carpool. He lives fairly
close to the chalet and doesn't seem to mind picking me up and
dropping me off three nights a week.
It s Wednesday, and Leo, the CAD guy, is driving me home. "Are you
hungry?" he asks.
Leo s been really sweet, and I ve wondered on more than one occasion
if he s looking for more than a carpool buddy. Particularly given that I
can offer nothing in the way of reciprocation without a car.
"I d better get home. There s a project I need to put a few hours into."
It's really just a sketch of the cascades Jaeger and I hiked at Fallen Leaf
Lake. Why I m torturing myself with a drawing that brings only
bittersweet memories makes no sense. My feelings for Jaeger haven t
faded or changed. They are as stubborn as I am.
He glances over with a smile. "Maybe some other time."
Leo s cute, with a week s worth of stubble and shaggy blond hair. His
eyes are a bright blue and he s on the tall side, if a bit skinny. When I m
with him, I feel nothing. No zing, no spark. I find I have no interest in
men, and there are plenty of cute, rugged ones at work. Between my
new job and classes, I m surrounded by available men, and I can t
appreciate any of them. It s like Jaeger sapped me of the chemicals
needed for attraction.
Leo pulls into my driveway and I reach for my book bag on the floor,
shoving a pencil sticking out into the side pocket.
"You expecting someone?" he says.
I look up and my heart races. Jaeger is waiting at the front door. "No," I
say shakily.
Leo glances from me to Jaeger, his expression hesitant as he takes in
Jaeger's size. "You want me to stick around? I could—"
"It's okay. He's a friend." For some reason, I feel guilty calling Jaeger a
friend, like I m betraying him with another guy when that s not the case.
I can t exactly call Jaeger my boyfriend after his ex-girlfriend has
moved in. For all I know, Jaeger is here to downgrade me to friend
status in person.
Leo nods. "Okay, well, have a good evening. Pick you up same time
Friday?"

"Thanks, I appreciate the rides." I close the car door and wait for Leo to
reverse. He holds up his hand briefly before pulling onto the street.
I slowly shift, shoulders, then feet, then lastly my eyes from the gravel
to the house and Jaeger with his hands shoved in his jean pockets. His
elbows are bent, shoulders hunched to accommodate the length of his
arms, the muscles below the sleeves of his T-shirt tensed and corded.
His mouth is tight and twisted to the side in a concerned, edgy
expression.
I make my way over, passing him as I approach the front door. He
grabs my hand, but I slip it out of his grip. "Cali, please. We need to
talk."
"Tyler told me you're living with Kate."
Jaeger blinks, surprised, but not upset. He lets out a deep breath. "I
wanted to tell you."
"Does it matter how I found out? You've moved on. Obviously." I
unlock the front door and he follows me inside. No one s home, and
that makes me mad. I don't want to be alone with him.
All those chemical reactions that hibernate around other guys flared up
the second I saw Jaeger. I walk straight to the backyard. At least, out in
the open, I don't smell him, feel him so close to me.
"I m sorry it took me so long to call. I had a commission due, and then I
went out of town for a couple of days."
He went on vacation? With his ex? He thinks that s an acceptable
explanation for why he waited days to call? "Whatever, Jaeger. Why
are you here?"
He flexes his jaw. "I'm trying to tell you, Cali, but you're making it
difficult."
"Difficult? I' m making it difficult? Do you want to know what sucks?
Finding out your boyfriend has a child. Want to know what else blows?
Having him leave you for his ex-girlfriend. Get out of my house,
Jaeger!"
I'm hysterical. All that pent-up pain unleashing on him. At least it's
aimed in the right direction.
"I m not leaving," he says calmly. "We need to talk. You don t

underst—"
"What?" I hold up my hands. "That we re over? Oh, I got that when
Tyler told me you re shacking up with your ex. Not much to
misinterpret there."
"Cali—" His eyes are warm and soft. "—if I wasn t so frustrated, I'd
kiss you. I missed you, feisty."
I squint. "Have you lost your mind?"
He lets out a loud sigh, walks over, and scoops me up. "Maybe. I feel a
little crazed at the moment."
I glance at the dirt I m no longer standing on. "Put me the eff down, you
giant lumberjack!"
"Done." He swings around and stalks into the house.
"Wait, wait—" I say in a panic. Not the house! "Put me down here." I
wiggle to get loose. "Now, Jaeger!"
He shifts me over his shoulder, cups my ass with one hand, and opens
the bedroom door.
"Not there! We need to stay in the living room. I m not going near a bed
with—"
I land on my back cockeyed, my breath rushing out in whoosh.
"What. Are. You. Doing! "
"Trying to get my girlfriend to calm down and listen." Jaeger leaps on
top of me, bracing his weight on his arms on either side of my head.
He completely ignores my frown and pursed lips, and kisses me,
nuzzling my nose before his gaze goes distracted. I m too stunned to
speak. He hovers over me like he s going to camp out there for a while
and his mouth contorts. "Kate s up to something. I can t prove it yet. I
drove up to North Shore, where she supposedly lived for a couple of
years."
He s speaking as if we re having a normal couple conversation, not like
it s been an entire week since we spoke to or saw each other. Maybe he
has lost his mind.
He looks at my lips, my eyes, his thumb grazing the edge of my jaw. "I
tried to track down her friends, an old employer—I found nothing. The
woman I spoke to at the Chamber of Commerce said there s never been
a business by the name of the last employer she gave

me." He leans on his elbow and sweeps a lock of hair off my forehead.
I swat at his fingers. Just because he explained that his trip wasn't a
vacation with his ex, it doesn't justify his absence.
Jaeger s lips quirk briefly, then turn down. He plays with the collar of
my shirt. "Kate showed me a picture of the child." He lets out a puff of
air. Even his breath smells good and minty. I scowl. "The girl looks like
her, but I don t know. I can t tell if she looks like me. Kerstin saw the
picture, too, and thinks she could, but I don t see it. I ve told Kate I want
to take a paternity test. She raged, but finally agreed ... as long as we
live together."
And that s why this whole thing is so messed up. "Get. Off! "
Jaeger leans down and actually kisses my chin gently, as if I haven't
said anything. Dammit!
I could knee him in the groin, but I can t make myself do it. He s not a
bad guy, and that makes everything so much worse. It would be easier
to hate him if he were selfish and terrible, but he s trying to do the right
thing. Plus, he s extremely hot, and if I m being honest with myself, I
don't want him off me.
"She doesn't have money and says they took her daughter away
because she couldn t provide. The little girl lives with Kate s sister and
husband in Reno. Kate refuses to give me her sister s number for some
reason, but I discovered the address through a mutual friend. I m
driving up there tomorrow to hear the sister s side of the story. I m
positive there's something Kate's not telling me."
As mad as I am, I have listened, and the one thing that keeps relooping
is that he called me his girlfriend at the start of this discussion. He
meant it. In his mind, nothing has changed. "Why does she have to live
with you?"
He shakes his head, and suddenly I notice the fine lines at the corners of
his eyes. Dark circles mark the tender flesh above his cheeks. "She says
she has nowhere to go. If this little girl is mine, I can t do it, Cali. I can't
turn my back on them. That includes Kate."
I squirm and shove him with all my strength. "Get off! Get off me,
Jaeger."
He grabs my arms and holds me down. "No."

"You re living with your ex-girlfriend, you jerk! "
"It s not like that! You know I m not like that. I told you. I m with you
now. I want to be with you. I love you, Cali. Being away from you kills
me. The only thing that has kept me sane throughout all this is thinking
about getting back to you. About making all this right so that we can
move on together."
He loves me ...?
"You took your time calling."
"I've called and texted you numerous times." I send him a pointed
glare. "I should have called the day after our date. It wasn t intentional,"
he grumbles. "Have you any idea what a massive pain in the ass my ex
is? Trust me when I say I'm ready to move out. I've been sleeping on
the couch in the shop. I stay away from the house as much as possible.
As soon as I figure out the girl s paternity, Kate s gone. I ll pay child
support, whatever I need to do. But Cali—" His eyes are pleading. "If
the girl's mine, I can't abandon her. She didn't have a choice, you
know?"
I let out a deep breath.
"Please don t be mad. I mean, you have every right to be upset, but
please don't leave me over this." He rubs his nose along my jaw and
kisses below my ear. "I love you, Cali. I love you."
Oh, Jesus Christ. I want to be mad at him, but I can t! I believe him.
"I'm angry with you. You waited too long to get in touch."
He sighs. "I did. Not intentionally. My phone ran out of juice on the trip
to North Shore. I was in a hurry to get answers and forgot my charger. I
didn t bother buying another, just wanted to get back. My parents and
sister were ready to wring my neck. I'm sorry, babe." He brushes my
lips with his and my mouth softens.
I can t stay mad at him. Not when everything he says makes sense.
Jaeger doesn t give me uneasy feelings. He s all heart. "I missed you."
My words come out angry. "And I love you." This time my tone is
softer.
He looks in my eyes, searching, and then his mouth is on me before I
can get another word out. I m drowning and burning, a hot-cold fire
spreading from my chest to my toes. I clutch him with all my strength
and kiss him until we re both gasping. Jaeger wraps my legs around his

back and I arch into him, rubbing along his length.
He moans and kisses me harder. "Love you. Missed you," he says
between kisses peppered along my neck and the tops of my breasts. He
leans back and stares at my chest.
I prop up on my elbows, dazed. "What?"
"Are you wearing . a Wonderbra? Your boobs . "
My face heats. "I might have gained a few pounds. Like five," I admit,
chagrined. "I sort of ate a pint of ice cream every night for the last
week."
He lifts his brow.
"Can you really tell my boobs are bigger?"
He gives me a look that says come on, give me some credit.
"Guys can tell these things?"
He lowers his head, pushes my top and bra down and mumbles, "Yes,"
while kissing and licking my breast.
And, wow, that feels amazing, but . I m hung up on this boob thing. If
they look bigger . "Do I look fat?"
Jaeger groans. "I hate that question." He reaches around and cups my
bottom, pulling me against his erection. I slip off my elbows and land
flat on my back. "You feel incredible," he breathes into my neck. "You
smell unbelievable, and you re beautiful and feisty. Have I convinced
you how much I want you?"
I circle my hips. "Um, yes. As you were," I say and place his hand back
on my breast.
He grins eagerly and unbuttons my shorts with his other hand.
We make use of Gen and Tyler s absence. After an hour of nakedness, I
decide I d better not press my luck. "We should get dressed."
Jaeger looks up from his replete position at my side, one of his legs
with a light dusting of brown hair thrown over both of mine. He groans.
"I don't want to go home."
"Then stay here."
"Really?" He props up, head in his hand, looking down at me. God, did
I just ask my boyfriend to move in? I sort of meant for him to stay for
the next few hours, but I don't think that's how he took it.

I could never let him live here without talking to Gen first. Besides,
where would we sleep?
"Maybe not permanently. I have a roommate, and there s not much
space with my brother around. But you could crash on the couch for a
couple of days if you really don't want to live with Kate." The offer is
purely selfish. The last thing I want is my boyfriend living with his ex.
"Are you sure? Because if you are, I ll take you up on it. I was already
thinking of moving back in with my parents until I work things out, but
this is much better." He kisses my nipple.
"Jaeger! We can't do this with my brother and Gen around."
"I know, feisty." He grins. "But while they're gone, naked time is
in full effect."

Chapter Twenty-Six
"Are you sure you don t want me to go with you?" My legs are crossed
at the ankle over Jaeger's lap on the couch in the living room. He spent
the night, and we were perfect angels while Gen and Tyler were
around. Probably because we d taken care of our pent-up sexual needs
before they returned.
"You've got work, and I should do this on my own." Jaeger rubs his
forehead and runs his fingers through his hair. He lets out a breath, the
fine lines around his eyes deeper than ever. He doesn t seem convinced.
"You re worried you might meet your daughter and you want to keep
things simple."
He sucks in air through his nose and closes his eyes. "If I have one, yes.
I d bet anything, though, she isn t mine. If she is . I ll do what I have to,
but Kate s a liar. I haven t figured out why she d lie about this, but she
must be. We were—careful—or I was."
I hate thinking about Jaeger with another woman. "No need to
elaborate."
He pulls me to his chest and rubs his lips along my hairline. "I should
be back by the time you get off work. See you then?" I nod and he
kisses me on the head, then wraps his arms around my waist in a
lung-crushing squeeze. I love his hugs. I could stay in his embrace for
the rest of the day without food or water and be perfectly content
breathing in his scent for sustenance.
I m a mess at work. All I can think about is Jaeger and whether or not he
has a daughter. If he does, what does that mean for us? I like kids, but I
ve spent next to no time with them. I didn t expect to need a working
knowledge until I had my own—a loooong way off. What if Jaeger
realizes I m no good with children?
"Cali?" Architect Bill jars me from my bout of anxiety. I'm supposed to
be working on a new design for the company s business cards, but
instead I m staring off into space. "Do you have time to make

an artist's rendition of the Lakeshore property? We think it will help
with the planning council." "Yeah, sure."
"I ll send the principal your way. John s son. Have you two met? Great
kid."
Several of the guys that come through the office are on the younger
side, but they spend their days on job sites. I m trying to recall whether
any of them works regularly in the office, when a knock sounds in the
doorway.
My office is the copy room with a partition sectioned off for a teeny
desk that holds my laptop. Sallee Construction is located in a nice
office building, but space is limited. Most employees work on job sites
and don t require offices. The existing square footage is taken up by
blueprints and a place for client meetings. I consider myself lucky to
even have an "office." Plus, this way I get to chat with the receptionist
when she makes copies for John and the others.
I carefully finish the line I m working on and turn around, my head
notching back in shock. "You?" The word is out before I can stop it.
Lewis s brows furrow in consternation. "Gen s friend," he says as if
confirming it. "I've worked offsite the last several days. I didn't realize
you were the artist my father hired."
Lewis is Mr. Sallee's son? It makes some sense with the connection to
Nessa. Nessa s how Gen met Lewis. After a long hesitation in which I
attempt to process all this, I gesture to the one chair in my office.
Lewis takes a seat, looking like an adult in a toddler s chair and
consuming the room s limited breathing space. He isn t as bulky as
Jaeger, but he's athletically built and just as tall.
"How s Genevieve?"
The hair on the back of my neck prickles. Why is he asking about her?
"Good," I answer warily.
Lewis is hot. He s tall, with dark hair and tanned skin like his father,
though his face is free of laugh lines—probably because the guy never
smiles. Add high cheekbones and a strong, proud chin, and what s not
to like? But no way in hell am I throwing my BF back into the fire

with a cheater, and last I checked, Lewis was in some complicated
relationship with Mira.
If I ve learned anything though this summer, it s that Gen doesn t need
me to fight her battles. She s done just fine on her own. I should keep
my mouth shut.
Lewis pulls two reduced architectural CAD drawings from a file in his
hand. He explains the general aesthetic of the Lakeshore building and
shows me the landscape plan. The final product will be a multilevel
Swiss lodge with a modern bent and eco-friendly plants.
We discuss time lines.
"I'll get started right away," I tell him.
Lewis stands and walks toward the door. He glances back while I m
sorting through colored pencils from my stash of art supplies. Sallee
Construction could use software for artists renditions, but the old guys
are loath to learn it, and apparently I m cheaper and leave them time to
work on other stuff.
"Tell Gen . " His voice trails off and he grips the door frame.
"Tell her I said hello."
I hesitate, then remember he s my boss s son. "Sure," I say stiffly. I trust
Gen, but I don t trust this guy. He s uptight, and more important,
unavailable as far as I m concerned.
Lewis walks out, but I hear him talking in the reception area, which I
can see from my desk. His manner is clipped as he talks to the
receptionist, but she says something and his face softens. She has that
effect on people.
The front door opens and Mira walks in wearing a short summer dress
and platform sandals. She s breathtaking.
Lewis s body stiffens and he speaks so low I can t hear what he says to
her. She seems to ignore his words and greets our receptionist as if they
ve known each other for years. They probably have. After a moment,
Lewis pulls Mira aside. They argue, her voice rising, until she smiles
without it touching her eyes, and glides calmly out the door, the bells
chiming behind.
Lewis looks over and our eyes meet. I quickly look away, but I catch
him storming off out of the corner of my eye. A door slams down

the hall.
Very unavailable. I hope Gen stays away from him.
That evening, Gen s getting ready for work when I arrive home. I walk
into the bathroom and sit on the toilet lid. "Lewis works at Sallee
Construction. He s the owner s son."
Gen sets the hairbrush on the counter and stares into the mirror at her
reflection.
Not the reaction I was looking for. It answers the question of whether
or not she still thinks about him. "You don t actually care for
this guy . ?"
She sighs and walks out. "Leave it alone, Cali."
"Gen—" I trail after her. "I was stupid at the start of the summer. I didn
t really understand what you were going through, because I d never
been in love. You were more involved with the A-hole than I ever was
with Eric. I get that now. And I don t want to tell you what to do,
because when it comes to this, I m not as experienced as I thought, but
I'm scared for you."
Gen looks up from rifling in her purse and shakes her head. "Cali, there
s nothing to fear."
I lean my hip against the side of the couch and study her. "I m worried I
pushed you to date guys before you were ready and now you re running
headfirst into the same situation you escaped."
"You re giving yourself too much credit. I do actually select when and
who I want to date, and I told you, the situation with Lewis is not the
same as my past relationship. Besides, I'm not actually in a
relationship," she adds and heads into the bedroom while I stand in the
doorway.
Gen grabs a shirt from the closet and sinks onto the bed without putting
it on. "I can't help who I'm attracted to. That's just nature." She looks
up. "But I m not planning on repeating the past, if that s what you're
worried about. Even if I did, it wouldn't be your fault." She tugs on the
printed T-shirt.
"Okay. But Mira visited Lewis at work today. If you re spending time
with him, just—be careful."
Gen pauses. "I will," she says without looking. She pulls on dark jeans
and walks around the bed to the door. "Don't worry about me, Cali.

You don't need to protect me."
God, right now, I could use protection. Every day with Jaeger is a
lesson in what it means to care for someone. I want what s best for him,
even if it means not being with me. I deserve love, but we both deserve
to have our needs met. If I can t be the right person for him and his
daughter, he needs someone who can. And I need someone who doesn t
put me down for not making the choices they deem right.
The way Eric responded, I felt like an idiot when I told him I d given up
law. He never once asked what made me happy. Everything Jaeger
does is to make me happy. A profound difference.
Jaeger texts shortly after Gen leaves for work.
Jaeger: Trip unsuccessful. Kate's sister never showed. Stayed too long
waiting around. Have a project to wrap up ... could be late before I
make it over. Miss you.
So the wait continues. Not knowing where things stand makes me want
to throw a chair through a window.
Instead, I jump in the shower and get dressed. Tyler's friend picked him
up, so I have the car for the night. I ll visit Jaeger. I won t bother him
while he works. I just want to make sure he s okay and give him a quick
hug after his shitty day, and I don t want to have to wait until late to do
it.

Chapter Twenty-Seven
My stomach tightens as I pull into Jaeger s driveway. A black
Mercedes sports car is parked near his truck. Is that Kate's car? I
thought she didn't have any money.
I hadn t considered I might see Kate when I decided to come. It doesn t
matter that Jaeger isn t interested in her. The idea of an ex-girlfriend in
his home makes my proprietary instincts flare.
I breathe deeply and smooth the strands that pulled loose from my
ponytail into place. I check my teeth for lipstick stains in the visor
mirror. I m not walking in looking shabby. Kate needs to know she isn
t going to weasel into Jaeger's heart the way she did his house.
What kind of mother screws up her life so badly she loses her kid? And
why didn t Kate tell Jaeger she was pregnant? For as long as I ve known
him—which is a significant amount of time, given his connection to
my brother—he s been a good guy. He would have stood by her if she'd
told him. Why come out now?
My gaze darts to the sports car as I approach the front door. I shake my
head in contempt. Kate can t be that hard up if she s driving a new
Mercedes. The cost of that car alone would pay for the rent on a house
for two years and a used vehicle to get around town. No way does she
need to live with Jaeger in order to get her daughter back, but I don t
blame him for allowing it. Jaeger can t stir things until he knows what
he's up against. He won't risk losing his daughter.
The woodshop is silent today. I rap lightly on the front door and stand
for a minute looking out at the lake through the trees, attempting to
remain calm. Visit with Jaeger. Make sure he s okay. Go home. I won t
cause problems for him with Kate.
Nobody answers after several minutes, and the doorbell doesn t seem to
work. I m sure he s here. His truck is in the drive. I twist the handle. It s
unlocked.
Jaeger s my boyfriend, and he s practically living with me at the
moment. I'll just peek in and let him know I'm here.
But it s not Jaeger s presence that fills the house. A hushed female

voice floats from the back bedroom. Not Jaeger s room—thank
God—gotta be his office, the man cave. I don't see Jaeger anywhere.
He s not in the living area, and the door to his bedroom is open, the
lights off. The other two bedrooms are located at the other end of the
hall. I should call out, but there s something about the way she s talking
on the phone, quiet and professional, like she s conducting a business
transaction, that makes me hesitate.
I step inside and walk to the bedroom, making no effort to silence my
footfalls. I can't help it if my steps are quiet in the Keds I'm wearing.
I stop outside the partly open door to Jaeger s office. And okay, yes,
this time I really do eavesdrop, because it sounds like she's—shopping?
I peek past the door.
"I ll take the twistlock heel in blue and black," Kate says into a cell
phone, scrolling with a mouse on Jaeger s computer. "Size seven and a
half. And the Jennie stacked platform in red, same size."
Online shopping.
"I want the cutout sundress in a size four, and ..." She clicks the mouse
and pulls up another screen, "... the limited edition skater dress. I want
that in pale blue, along with the lightweight biker jacket." A pause.
"That's all for now. You can mail it to this address." She bends over to
fix a strap on her sandal and rattles something off. Her voice is slightly
muffled, and all I catch are the first two digits. Not very helpful. She
sits back up. "No, that's not the billing. Hold on a sec." Kate reaches
across the desk and lifts an envelope. She reads off Jaeger's street
address.
What the hell? If she's using his address for billing ...
Kate thumbs a plastic credit card. "Here's my card number." She reads
off a series of numbers, the expiration date, and a security code. "The
name on the card is Jaeger Lang. My husband and I have different last
names."
The bitch!
I ve had enough. I clear my throat loudly.
Kate s gaze darts to me. I cock my head. Her eyes widen a fraction, but
her expression remains calm. "Thank you," she says cheerily into the
phone and ends the call. For a moment we stare at each other.

"You must be Cali." Good, she knows who I am.
Remain calm. I promised myself I wouldn't cause problems for Jaeger.
"What do you think you're doing?" Okay, that didn't come out as
diplomatic as I had hoped.
Kate lifts her legs, bared to the rump in cut-off shorts, and plants her
feet on the corner of Jaeger s desk. Her shorts are so small the curve of
her butt cheek hangs out. She's pretty, with light brown hair tumbling
over her shoulder in soft waves, but the energy she gives off is cold as
that minnow I caught in Lake Tahoe.
"Jaeger said he had a female friend who might stop by from time to
time. I m Kate, the mother of his child."
My jaw clenches. Calm, must remain calm. "Why are you using
Jaeger's credit card?"
"Oh, just ordering a few necessities." She smiles prettily. "Jaeger told
me to make myself at home."
"That s interesting. I would think you d be spending less money on
necessities and more time figuring out how to get your daughter back."
Her brow puckers. "Oh, I am, but there s only so much I can do. I hate
this waiting around, but the court hearing isn't for another month."
A month! Freaking hell.
"The most important thing Jaeger and I can do is create a loving home
for our daughter."
No. Way. This has got to end. She's using him. "Where's Jaeger?" "In
his outhouse." Woodshop, dumbass.
I'm not leaving Kate in Jaeger's office. She might decide to use his
credit card to purchase a hot tub or a tropical island. "Do you think you
can show me the way?" I ask sweetly. "I always forget which door to
use."
Kate smirks. She knows I'm full of shit, but she lowers her slender,
mile-long legs and saunters into the living room and out the back door.
We pass her fancy sports car, and I do a double take at another luxury
vehicle in the drive, this one red. Who is this, now?

Kate raps on the woodshop door and walks inside, clearly having no
problem barging into his private space. It pisses me off, until I see
Jaeger—with another woman.
He s sitting on the couch with a beautiful brunette standing between his
legs in nothing but a bra and a short black skirt.
"Jaeger!" Kate exclaims in a nasal, high-pitched screech.
Okay, I can be understanding—my boyfriend s living with his
ex-girlfriend—but this is taking it too far. "Sweetie, you seem to have
one too many women in the house."
Jaeger glances over, his face startled and confused. He didn t budge
when Kate yelled, as if he s grown accustomed to tuning her out, but
my comment grabs his attention. "Cali?"
The woman in front of him eases back, making no move to cover her
chest. She s in a pretty black bra with perfect abs—noticing
meaningless details helps keep me from fleeing the scene in a huff of
indignation. I ve had my fill of shit, but I love Jaeger, and the
expression on his face is one of shock. He's as surprised as me, and I
don't think it's because I walked in on him.
Jaeger stands and staggers to me. He grabs my hand, angling toward
the woman. "Danielle, this is my girlfriend, Cali."
Kate snorts beside us, her face contorted in annoyance. Jaeger doesn't
introduce her.
Danielle lifts her purse from the floor beside the couch and casually
pulls out a silk tank. She turns and slips on her top as if she dresses in
front of an audience every day. "I see I've caught you at a bad time."
She walks over and squeezes his thick bicep. I m tempted to bite her
hand like a rabid animal. "Call me later."
I've gotta hand it to the woman—she's got balls.
Jaeger watches Danielle leave, then looks at me. His eyes widen.
"What? She ambushed me. I had no idea what she was up to."
"Jaeger—" Kate screeches. I d forgotten Kate, and at this point, I d
prefer to tune her out too. "—how can you do this? Think about our
daughter!"
"Kate," Jaeger says curtly. "Give me and Cali a moment."
Kate slams the door on her way out and Jaeger marches to one of

his worktables. He shoves tools in a drawer and bangs his fist on the
table. "What the fuck!"
"Yeah-h-h, my thoughts exactly," I say.
He stalks over, linking our fingers. "Come on. Let's get out of here. We
ll go to your place."
"Wait." I tug his arm to a stop. We will go to my place and talk, because
I have a few questions for him, but first— "You can't leave Kate alone
in your house. When I arrived, she was shopping online with your
credit card and claiming you as her husband."
"Motherfucker," he mumbles.
Jaeger is judicious with his expletives. He must really be pissed. After
spending his day searching for Kate s sister in Reno, then getting
ambushed by a cougar and discovering he s being ripped off by his
ex-girlfriend, I guess I can understand.
We walk to the house and Jaeger flings open the back door, catching it
a second before it smashes me in the face. He stalks across the living
room. Kate moves around the kitchen island with a bag of cookies in
her hand, tracking his progress. At the end of the hall, Jaeger pulls out a
key, then closes and locks the door to his office. Her mouth drops open.
She shuts it and glares at me.
I follow Jaeger into his bedroom. He pulls clothes out of drawers and a
walk-in closet and stuffs them in a canvas duffel he s yanked out from
under the bed. He rummages noisily in the bathroom before returning
with a leather toiletry bag he tosses in the duffel as well.
Throwing the whole thing over his shoulder, he places his hand on my
lower back. "Let s go."
Jaeger doesn t say a word to Kate as we pass the kitchen to the front
door. She stands frozen, with a mug in her hand this time, watching us
leave.
He guides me to my car. "I ll follow you to your place," he says.
I have questions, but I get the feeling now isn t the time to bring them
up. From the rearview mirror, I notice Jaeger talking on his cell phone.
Tyler s still out when I get home. I plop on the couch, and Jaeger walks
in a few minutes later. He drops his duffel by the front door and

scrubs his face—
—and the front door swings open and bangs him in the back. Tyler
peeks around the corner. "Sorry, man. Didn't see you there."
Jaeger sinks into the recliner, elbows on his knees, head lowered.
Tyler looks at me. "What s up?"
He knows about Kate s kid extortion. I fill him in on Jaeger s failed
attempt to track down Kate s sister and what I walked in on at the
woodshop.
I ve calmed since seeing the half-naked woman between his legs. If
Jaeger were any other boyfriend, I might be suspicious. But he s totally
befuddled.
Tyler flips one of the dining chairs around and sits on it backward.
"Cougar, huh?"
Jaeger looks up. "I had no idea," he says stone-faced.
I shake my head in disbelief. "What do you mean? That woman was all
over you at the Blue bar." Naked-lady-Danielle is the same woman I
saw Jaeger with at Blue the night I went home with Drake.
"But—" His eyes look around as if mentally searching. "—she s my
client. I thought she was being friendly."
"Dude," Tyler says, "You re kidding, right? She took her top off in your
house."
Jaeger frowns. "I figured it out by then, man. She walked in without her
top on. Kinda obvious at that point—still stunned me, though. She
managed to back me into the damn couch," he grumbles.
Tyler and I look at each other, and Tyler snickers. If the situation
weren't so infuriating it would be funny.
Jaeger glares at Tyler. "Not funny, man. I was attacked unawares."
"Older women," Tyler says. "Predators, every one of them."
"Tyler!" I exclaim. "What do you know about older women?"
He holds up his hands innocently. "What? I m in my prime. Older
women flock to virile men like me."
I did not just hear that. "I think I just threw up a little in my mouth."
He shrugs. "You asked."
Jaeger groans, leans his head back, and stares at the ceiling.

I walk over and sit on his lap. "It s okay, sweetie. You ll just have to get
used to the older ladies not looking at you as a nice young man
anymore. They want to get into your pants now."
He glares at me and I smile.
"She seemed like such a nice client," Jaeger goes on as if he hasn t
heard anything Tyler or I have said. "She was friendly, but . "
"Oh, she was nice, all right," Tyler says. "She would have given you a
nice long blow—"
"Tyler!" I yell. "Knock it off, you jackass."
I rub Jaeger s shoulders and his head lolls, his eyes drooping. He s
exhausted. The cougar was startling, but not our biggest problem.
"What are you going to do about Kate?"
He huffs out a breath. His muscles bunch up again, but his eyes remain
closed. "I called my credit card company. Told them the situation and
asked them to block those purchases. My father s speaking to a lawyer.
We ll need to establish paternity before we move forward with custody
arrangements. Kate acted like we d live happily ever after together." He
shakes his head. "She has another agenda and fleecing me must be part
of it."
"You think she wants your money?"
I wasn t raised to rely on a man for financial support. My mom taught
us to take care of ourselves. It s partly why I m having issues with the
career upheaval. In some ways, I m like a guy; I need to know I m
financially capable before I feel complete.
"She wants my money, my home, whatever she can get. I've had Mason
and Adam asking around, though Adam s useless. He s all bent out of
shape over his breakup with Breanna."
"They broke up?" I interrupt. "Adam treated her like crap. Why is he so
upset?"
Jaeger shrugs. "That s Adam for you. No one knows what goes on
inside his head. He's a good guy when it comes down to it."
"Let s get back to the part where your friends are asking about Kate,"
Tyler pipes up. "What did they find out?"
"Mason says she ran off with a guy from Reno after my accident. I was
in and out of rehab and pretty messed up. Didn t keep in touch with

friends or hear the news. Supposedly, the guy she s been dating since
then deals drugs on the side. Light stuff—pot, acid. He started dabbling
with meth over the last year and got caught running a lab out of Sparks.
He s serving time for it."
Unbelievable. "How does she go from you to a drug dealer?"
He raises a shoulder. "The guy was loaded. Drove a nice car. Mason
heard he bought her a place. I had things going for me in high school.
Once my Olympic career faded, she took off. I guess now that this guy
is in prison, her funds have dried up. She needs someone to leech off
and is using our connection—our kid ... if she's actually mine."
I slide next to him on the chair. "She wants in your life because you re
beautiful and wealthy."
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and smashes me to his side.
"You think I m beautiful, babe?"
I frown. "Everyone thinks you re beautiful, including the cougars of the
world."
"Well," Tyler says drolly, "I don't think you're beautiful."
Jaeger ignores him and looks down at me. "You re the beautiful one. I
think of myself as a manly sort of guy."
"Fine," Tyler interrupts. "I m the beauty. And being admired for my
looks does not diminish my sense of masculinity."
I swivel my head. "Tyler, why are you still here? I m trying to have a
private moment with my boyfriend."
He stands and shoves the chair back in place, narrowing a look at
Jaeger. "Just don't make it too private." Jaeger glares right back. My
man is not having a good day. Tyler had better not push it. Tyler digs in
his jeans pocket and pulls out his keys. "I gotta run another errand
anyway. See you in a bit."
He leaves and Jaeger stands, pulling me up with him. "I have
something in the back of my truck I want to show you."
Outside, Jaeger grabs two large boxes from his truck bed—one long,
the other wide and flat.
I stare at the packaging. "You bought camping gear?"
"If I m going to stay with you, I need a place to sleep. Your couch is
nice, but I m not looking forward to my knees dangling off the end

again tonight." He holds up the king-sized, pillow-top air mattress.
"This way, we can sleep together." His grin is highly suggestive.
I like where his head is, but I eye the box skeptically. "Where exactly
are we putting it?"
He hoists the boxes on to his shoulder, grabs my hand, and walks to the
gate. "Your backyard."
"Uhh, did you learn nothing from our game of catch at the beach? I'm
not sportsy, remember? That includes camping."
Okay, there s no technique required in camping. I m just not a fan of
cold and rough sleeping arrangements.
He drops the boxes on the cement patio outside the back door. "You go
hiking. You can't be that opposed to the outdoors."
Foiled by my own actions. I grumble and he grins at me.
Jaeger rips open the tent box, an act that would have taken me thirty
minutes with the help of a large screwdriver and scissors. His muscles
and large paws are a huge turn-on. I follow those clever hands as he
sorts and puts together the tent.
"I bought one with a skylight." He glances up and smiles. "We can look
at the trees and stars at night."
I m sort of following what he s saying, nodding in agreement. But
mostly I m thinking about that tent and how see-through it is. It looks
pretty opaque. It's definitely not soundproof. We'll have to be quiet ...
This could work.
I grab the mattress box and hand it to Jaeger to open. He tears it apart
and I smile happily, admiring the muscles flexing through his jeans as
he bends and builds our home with his bare hands.
He glances up and sees me watching. Instead of scolding me for the
dirty thoughts that must be evident on my face, his jaw clenches and he
works faster.
I love this man.

Chapter Twenty-Eight
Our tent is the size of a motorhome. Then again, Jaeger is too.
Unfortunately for my housemates, the patio has been compromised.
Our giant tent-home takes up the length of the cement pad.
I'm lying on the mattress, which is surprisingly comfortable and
mattress-like, staring at the stars through the skylight. Jaeger crouches
his way in and zips the tent closed. I can stand without having to bend,
but that does not apply to overgrown men.
He removes his shirt, and my mind goes blank.
I sit up abruptly. "Wait. We have to talk," I say, but I m staring at his
chest, my gaze trailing to his eight-pack and the waistband of his jeans.
I force it up, only to find him smiling knowingly.
I plaster a somber expression on my face. "Don't think it's okay for
half-naked women to show up at your place, because it's not." There, I
told him.
He sits next to me, and I d like to say the indentation of the air mattress
is why I fall into him, but I think it s all me. Damn. Being a hardass
girlfriend is more challenging than it looks. It s a good thing Jaeger s a
good guy.
We still need to talk. "Why did Danielle show up?"
Jaeger drops onto his back, an arm across his chest. "I had no idea she
was interested in—that. She's bought some commissions from me and
introduced me to other clients. We ve had a working relationship for a
couple of years and she's never come on to me."
I hold up my finger. "I beg to differ. She clung to you like a wet blanket
in the Blue lounge."
"Really?" He shakes his head. "Okay."
"Seriously? You don't know that a woman's coming on to you when she
touches you and leans her breasts against your arm?" "I never thought
about it." "Does this happen often?"
He shrugs, and I can tell the answer is yes, but he s being modest.
"Jaeger, what if a guy had his hands on me that way?"

"I'd tear off his arm," he says without hesitation. "Okay-y-y, so it
wouldn't be all right." "Hell, no."
I stare, and he glances away. "I get it, Cali. I know what you re saying."
He sits up. "You understand, though, that I'm not interested in anyone
but you? From the moment I saw you in the bar at Harrah 's, I did
everything I could to make you my girlfriend."
He did? I think back to that night and the days that followed. I
suspected he was flirting, but I was still with Eric and trying not to
think about my feelings for Jaeger.
He tucks a lock of hair, more red than gold in the moonlight, behind my
ear. "No one else existed once I ran into you again. You re all I ve
thought about. Honestly—" He shakes his head. "—I might have
picked up on Danielle's intentions sooner if I hadn't been so caught up
in thinking about you. And then there's this mess with Kate ..."
He rolls me on top of him. "I m sorry. I ll make it clear to Danielle and
anyone else that I'm not interested. I have everything I want."
Whelp, that clears things up for me. I nuzzle his neck and kiss him
beneath his jaw, straddling him.
Jaeger needs to push back more when it comes to Kate, but his heart is
in the right place. He doesn t want to make the wrong move when it
comes to a child s life. Kate weaseling her way into the middle will
have to be dealt with—but maybe not right now.
A second later, our clothes are off and we re putting the opaque tent
fabric to the test.
The rest of the week goes by faster than I can blink. Between my job
and school, and Jaeger s commissions and meetings with lawyers,
we've only seen each other at night.
Tonight, I m waiting in our tent, reading one of Gen s smutty books.
This one s about a vampire with obsessive-compulsive disorder. I give
her a hard time for reading this crap, but now that I ve cracked one
open, I can't put it down. It's freaking addicting.
The screech of the zipper has me jumping back, tucking the book under
my pillow. I roll on my side, head propped on my hand. "Hey," I

say, breathlessly, as if I've been caught doing something I shouldn't.
If Jaeger notices, he doesn't show it. His eyes are at half-mast as he
slips his wallet from his back pocket, kicks off his shoes, and crawls
onto the bed face down. A rumbly sound comes from his chest. I think
he said hello, but I can't be sure.
I crawl on his back and dip my head over his shoulder by his ear.
"You okay?"
He turns his head to the side. "Now. Don t move. Feels good. I ll be
asleep in three seconds."
I m worried about him. He s wearing himself out. "You re exhausted.
What can I do to help? Do you want me to beat Kate up and get her
sister s phone number?"
He snorts. "No. My lawyer has people searching birth certificates for
information on her daughter. They offered to track Kate s sister Hannah
down, but I ve got tomorrow off. I m heading up again. I don t want the
lawyer getting involved yet. Don t want to scare Hannah or the
girl."
I roll to the side, facing him. "Let me go with you. I ll take the day off
too." He studies my face. "It might be nice for them to know there's
another woman in the picture. Maybe Hannah doesn't trust Kate. It
could help soothe the situation if she and her husband know you re in a
serious relationship. The kind of guy who commits."
His gaze is interested but guarded. "You don't have to."
"I want to."
Jaeger raises his head and kisses my lips. "I d like that."
The next day we leave at six a.m. to beat traffic and catch Kate s sister
before she begins her day. We arrive in Reno at seven thirty, and pull
into the Donner Springs neighborhood.
"What s the sister like?" I ask.
"Hannah? No idea. Kate and Hannah didn t get along in high school. I
met her a couple of times, but the visits were brief. I m surprised
custody went to her. Kate manipulated her parents, but she had a better
relationship with them than her sister."
"And the little girl s name?" It could have been intentional on my

part, to block what I don t want to believe, but I ve rarely asked Jaeger
about his daughter. If she s going to be in his life, I need to make a
bigger effort to learn about her.
His jaw tightens and he shakes his head. "Kate won t tell me anything,
not even that. She s not making sense. Whatever I learn from Hannah, I
know it will be different from what Kate s telling me. For all I know,
Kate dumped the child on her sister s doorstep and told her to take care
of it."
Jaeger checks the address on his truck s GPS and pulls up to a small
yellow house with a yard that needs to be mowed. "We're here." A
maroon sedan sits in the drive, a car seat in the back.
We walk up the driveway and I grab Jaeger s hand before he knocks on
the door. A child s playful screech sounds in the background, along
with a thunder of small footsteps.
My heart pounds, my hands cold and clammy. I glance over and Jaeger
smiles reassuringly. I think I m more nervous than he is.
The sound of a chain sliding free scrapes before the door opens. A
woman with tawny, shoulder-length hair and dark blue eyes stands on
the other side. "Yes?"
"Hannah? I m Jaeger Lang. I—uh, I dated your sister. Back in high
school."
The woman blinks, her quick gaze taking in his size, then settling on his
face. "Oh, sure. Hi, Jaeg. Is everything okay? I don t really keep in
touch with Kate, if that s why you re here . " She glances at me
curiously.
Jaeger anchors an arm around my waist. "This is my girlfriend, Cali.
I've seen Kate. I'm here because of what she told me. Do you mind if
we come in and talk to you for a minute?"
Hannah opens the screen door. "I've got to leave for work soon and
drop off my daughter at school, but we have a little time."
She guides us to a living room with an overworn brown couch, the
pillows askew. "Sorry about this." Hannah tucks the cushions back in
place. "My daughter's going through a fort phase."
Jaeger smiles and sits on the couch. "Actually, your daughter is why
we're here." He takes a deep breath, tension rolling off his stiff

posture. "Kate told me we had a child together. She said you ve been
given temporary custody."
Hannah stares without blinking for a solid minute. "Mark!" she yells
without breaking eye contact, her pitch escalating at the end. "Come in
here, please."
A man in his early thirties walks into the living room from down the
hall, wrapping a tie around his neck in a knot. His gaze goes straight to
his wife in concern, then touches on us. "I didn t know we had guests."
It's a statement, but there's a question in his voice.
"This is Jaeg," Hannah says. "Kate s ex-boyfriend from high school,
and his girlfriend Cali." Her tone is terse, but I don't think it's directed
at us. "Please tell my husband Mark what you just told me,
Jaeg."
Jaeger clears his throat. "I m here because Kate returned to town and
informed me we have a child together. She said you and your wife are
caring for our four-year-old daughter, but she wouldn t give me your
number or specifics about the child, and I wanted to find out more
information."
"What? " Mark's voice is loud like a bark, his tone dark.
A little girl runs into the room and grabs her father s leg. She has
straight blond hair pulled back with flower barrettes, and green eyes.
She could pass for Jaeger s daughter with her coloring, as long as no
one saw her next to Mark. She's the spitting image of her father, right
down to the dimple in her chin.
"Sweetheart—" Mark crouches and faces his daughter. "—special treat
this morning." He smiles, but there's a touch of tension in his voice.
"You can play with your dress-up clothes before school."
The little girl frowns briefly, possibly picking up the edge in her father
s tone, then seems to realize her coup. Squeals ensue and she runs out
of the room back down the hallway.
Mark sinks into a chair next to his wife, his hands gripping the
armrests. "What the hell is going on?"
I m tapping my foot and squeezing Jaeger s hand to death. This is so not
right. These people have no idea what we're talking about.
Somehow Jaeger remains calm. Even the contours of his face have

softened. "I'm here to find out if I have a daughter."
"Well," Hannah says. "I don t know if you have a daughter, Jaeg, but I
can tell you that my daughter came from my body, not my sister's." She
smiles ironically. "Childbirth is one of those things a woman doesn t
forget."
"Okay." Jaeger nods. "Good." He shifts in his seat, his brows bunching
in thought. "You said you aren t close to Kate, but do you know if she
has a child?"
"I don t keep in touch with her, but my parents do. They would have
known if she'd been pregnant. She's close to my mom." Bitterness
seeps from her tone. "Mom puts up with Kate s crap."
Jaeger rubs his forehead. "So there's no way that the little girl I just saw
or any other girl you ve taken care of in your home is my child?"
"There s only one child we ve raised," Mark says. "And there is no way
she is yours. Kate lied to you."
Jaeger takes a deep breath and leans back. "Okay. Okay—thank you.
I'm sorry to have bothered you this morning." He squeezes my hand
and stands.
"Jaeg," Hannah says, "before you leave, tell me what s going on with
Kate. My mom hasn t spoken to her in weeks. I don t care what Kate s
up to, but it sounds like she s getting into trouble again and my mom
should know. We thought her problems were behind her after her
boyfriend went to prison two months ago. If she s fabricating lies about
having a child . " She looks to her husband. "I m worried for our
daughter, Mark. Maybe we should call the police."
"On it." Mark pulls out his cell phone and walks away.
Jaeger and I exchange a look.
"She s living at my house," Jaeger says. "She said we needed to show a
stable environment in order to regain custody of our child. I didn t trust
her from the moment she walked back into my life, but I didn t want to
take the chance in case she was telling the truth. Didn t want anything
bad to happen to the little girl."
Hannah nods. "I understand. You did the right thing. You always were
too good for my sister. I m sorry she used you. We ll tell the police what
s going on and help you in whatever way we can, but our first

priority is to keep our daughter safe. I mean, what if she had kidnapped
her one afternoon to show you?"
Jaeger nods and pulls out his phone. "If you don t mind, I d like to call
my parents. My father hired a lawyer and I want to tell them what we
discovered."
Hannah stands. "Of course, go ahead. Can I get you anything to drink
or eat? My husband and I will go in to work late today—or maybe I'll
stay home." She looks toward the hall. "I don't want to be away from
my daughter with my sister making dangerous claims. She s selfish and
irresponsible, but I never thought she'd do anything like this."
Jaeger exchanges phone numbers with Hannah and her husband before
we leave. He gets a call from them on the drive back to Lake Tahoe.
They re filing a restraining order against Kate. Jaeger also spoke to his
father and found out the lawyer his dad hired is having a thirty-day
legal notice delivered to Kate to vacate Jaeger s home. She s claiming a
right to occupancy, which legally she has since Jaeger allowed her to
move in.
We re stuck with her for thirty more effing days. "What if she destroys
your house or steals stuff?" I ask as we pull into town.
"My workshop is all I care about, and it s locked tight. We ll swing by,
though, and I ll remove important documents and my computer. Mason
will hold it until I get Kate out." He looks over. "I'm sorry, Cali. For
putting you through this."
"I ll be fine. I m worried about you; you ve been kicked out of your
house."
"Even if she burned the place down, nothing could be worse than
finding out Kate was telling the truth." He stretches his neck. "I'm
thanking my lucky stars she lied about the kid. No man should be tied
to Kate for a lifetime. Or any child, for that matter. Besides, I m living
in the best place in town." He grins.
"The tent?" I chuckle.
Jaeger grabs my thigh and rubs it up and down. "Wherever you are is
where I want to be."

Chapter Twenty-Nine
The next morning, Jaeger takes off for a meeting with his father and
lawyer. Afterward, he's going to his shop to work. I hate the idea of him
near Kate—the woman is ruthless—but he's got commissions due.
Tyler s sitting at the dining room table typing on his computer.
"What was Jaeger's ex like back in high school?" I've tried less obvious
approaches, but Tyler hasn t responded to subtlety.
"A bitch. I hated that chick."
Okay, that's direct. "Jeez, Tyler, tell me what you really think." I ve
never heard my brother call a woman a derogatory name. Probably an
artifact of growing up with a strong mother.
Tyler s hands still on the keyboard. He picks up the spoon from his
bowl of cereal and scoops the last bite. "I barely knew her. She just
seemed like a social climber, and then she dumped Jaeg when he was at
his lowest."
He stands and walks to the kitchen, dumping his dishes in the sink.
"Hey, this isn't a bed and breakfast. Wash your dishes." Tyler saunters
past me and kisses the top of my head. "That s what I have you for."
"You've turned into a real ass, you know that?" Something happened to
my affable brother back in Boulder. He s always teased me, but he s
downright grumpy these days.
"You have no idea. Taking a shower," he says, and locks the bathroom
door behind him.
After class that evening, I convince Leo to drive the extra distance to
Jaeger's house. Jaeger's been in his shop most of the day and I want to
surprise him with the food and drinks I picked up from the on-campus
café. It's not much of a dinner, but I don't think he'll care. He's got dark
circles under his eyes and his cheeks are growing hollow. He makes
two sandwiches when he gets to my place and inhales them before
crashing on our air mattress. Sometimes I wonder if it's the only meal
he's had all day.
Leo's car idles in front of Jaeger's house as I grab the bags of food.

"Nice location," he says, peering at the moonlit lake beyond the trees.
The front door swings open and Kate steps onto the porch. A motion
detector light reveals the scowl on her face. She's got to be in top evil
form now that they issued the eviction notice. I think I ll skip the house
and go straight to the workshop.
I swivel my head to say goodbye to Leo, but he's squinting at Kate.
Kate s looking straight at him as if measuring him up, recognition
crossing her features. "You two know each other?" I ask.
His mouth twists. "I—yeah, I think. My roommate's into some stuff. He
has these parties ... pretty sure I've seen her at them."
Jaeger walks out of his woodshop, wiping his hands on a towel. He
looks exhausted, his frame bowed. His eyes scan from me to Leo and
his mouth tightens.
This doesn t look good. "Thanks for the ride, Leo," I say quickly and
hop out of the car. Jaeger has been pushed to his limit. I ve seen the
kind of damage he can do to a guy when he isn t trying. I d rather not
give him a reason to take out his frustration on poor Leo.
"Surprise!" I walk over and kiss Jaeger s tense lips. His gaze tracks Leo
s small truck down the lane. I shove the bag of food at his chest and he
looks down and blinks. A sweet smile spreads across his face. "You ve
been working so hard, I wanted to check in on you."
"Thanks, babe." Jaeger's eyes flicker angrily toward Kate on the porch.
She spins around and slams the front door behind her.
There s the angst.
He holds me close for a moment, his lips skimming over my hairline,
the tension in his shoulders releasing. "Give me a minute to clean up
and we can get going."
Jaeger puts away tools, wipes down a table, and sweeps the floor of his
woodshop. I watch from the couch, enraptured. I could stare at Jaeger
moving around all day in jeans that fit his butt to perfection, wood
shavings speckling his T-shirt and hair, all responsible and
hardworking.
He glances around as if checking for remaining clean-up, and his gaze
lands on me.
I squirm, suddenly aware of the last time I sat on this couch, or rather,
lay on it.

Jaeger moves forward and my heart kicks up. He crouches at my feet
and runs his palms up my bare legs to the edges of my denim skirt.
"What do you want to do?"
Oh, I have ideas.
I scowl in the direction of the house. "Go to my place."
Outside, Jaeger s face contorts as he looks down the drive. He helps me
into his truck. "Who's that guy that gives you rides?"
"Leo? He s in my CAD class. We carpool, except it s not really
carpooling because I don t give him rides. I usually buy dinner after
class to make up for gas money."
"You buy him dinner," he says in a tone that s not altogether happy.
"I ve gotta do something for him, Jaeger. I d feel like a mooch if I
didn t."
He nods stiffly, obviously not liking my answer. "We ve gotta get you a
car. I don t want you stranded or needing to rely on others to get
around."
"Yeah, well, that would be nice, but I can t afford one. Anyway, for
now, I m good. When Gen and Tyler leave in the fall, I ll have to use the
bus until I can save up for something."
Jaeger frowns out the window of his truck as he turns the ignition. It s
damn embarrassing to admit to your highly successful boyfriend that
you can't afford a car.
Minutes later, we pull into my gravel driveway, my eyes bugging out at
my mom's blue sedan parked on the street.
What the hell?
Shit. My mom suspected something between me and Jaeger when I
visited, but I haven t talked to her since things became official. She
probably knew more about my feelings for Jaeger than I did at the time.
I was still in denial and dealing with the loss of my job and graduate
school.
Crap, crap! I m not prepared for this confrontation. I love Jaeger, but I d
hoped to have a private conversation with my mom. She might draw
conclusions about me jumping into a relationship on the heels of my
last. To her, this would look like a rebound, but it s not. My

relationship with Jaeger is the first real one I've had.
"So, um, Jaeger?" He looks over, brows furrowing. My voice is shaky
and I realize I m squeezing the bejesus out of his hand on the seat
between us. I loosen my grip. "That s my mom s car. She s here. I didn
t know she was coming."
A beat passes. "You need me to leave?" He's trying to hide it, but there
s hurt in his eyes.
"No, but it might not go perfectly. I haven t had a chance to tell her
about us."
"I'm okay, if you're okay."
I smile. "I'm okay." Or I will be after this confrontation. It's like pulling
off a Band-Aid. Mom might react to the suddenness of our relationship,
but she ll get over it.
We walk to the front door. And then I remember the tent out back and
the fact Jaeger is staying with me.
This is going to be awkward as hell.
My mom is washing dishes in the kitchen, her back to us when we walk
in. She's humming, breaking into a chorus every few bars to Love Bites
from Def Leppard. It's one of her favorites. If I'm warped, I blame it on
the eighties music my mom subjected me to over the years.
"Mom, what are you doing here?"
She spins, gasping, her hand over her heart. "Calista, don t sneak up."
She huffs out a breath and eyes Jaeger. "Can t a mom visit her
children?" she says distractedly.
"You usually call first," I point out.
She shakes water off her hands over the sink and walks into the living
room, patting them on her jeans. She reaches out to Jaeger, glaring at
me. "Hi, Jaeg. Good to see you again. My, you ve grown." Mom s eyes
dart down his body.
It s official. Jaeger can t control the effect he has on women. My own
mother just checked him out. He s a weakness to the female sex. I
should know.
"Mom, Jaeger s my boyfriend."
Despite her obvious admiration, Mom s mouth puckers and twists. She
nods.

I hate that look. It's the one that says you've got some explaining to do.
I'm a grown woman. Whom I choose to love is my business. "What's
up, Mom? Everything okay?"
She slowly drags her suspicious gaze from Jaeger. "I m here to talk to
Tyler. Do you know where he is?"
So this isn't about me? It's about Tyler?
Now he s done it. Mom showed up, so whatever Tyler did, it must be
bad.
Come to think of it, I haven t kept close tabs on Tyler and he is acting
strange. He comes home reeking of beer and cigarettes, and I haven t
figured out why the sudden desire to spend the summer in Tahoe.
Getting dumped, fired, and falling in love distracted me. So I ve been a
shitty friend and sister. Excellent.
Before I tell my mom I have no idea where Tyler is, he walks in the
door and freezes with his hand on the knob. "Hey," he says nervously.
What is going on? I mean, Mom can still put the fear of God into us,
though she s tiny and we tower over her, but Tyler looks more nervous
than I ve ever seen him.
"Your work called," Mom says. "You ve missed the pre-semester
meetings and they haven't been able to reach you."
Tyler breaks eye contact and bends down, rustling around in his
overnight bag. "I've got it, Mom. Don't worry about it."
"Really? Because it doesn't seem like you've got it, son."
Jaeger grabs my wrist and sinks onto the couch, pulling me with him.
He s watching my mom and brother with rapt interest. This is the first
bit of drama that doesn't involve us. He's probably as giddy as I am.
"What s going on, Tyler?" Mom asks. "Don t lie—you re no good
at it."
Tyler straightens and plucks the shoulder of his T-shirt. It s one of his
nervous tics. "I'm not going back. I'm staying here."
My mom sits on the edge of the recliner. "What does that mean? Your
employers thought you were missing, Tyler. This isn t how you give
notice you re leaving a position. The college administration told me
they were about to notify the police. Imagine their relief when they
reached me."

"I should have called." He knuckles his forehead and sighs. "Why are
you leaving your job? I thought you loved Boulder and your career."
Tyler crosses to the kitchen and pulls a beer from the fridge. Now that I
think about it, he s kept the fridge stocked with a steady stream of
Sierras. He s been drinking too much.
"I don't. Not anymore," he says.
"Uh-hmm. And how will you support yourself? You planning to sleep
on people s couches for the rest of your life?" Mom is pulling out the
sarcasm, which means she's about to go ballistic.
"I ve been living like a student. I ve got money saved to last a few
years."
Well, shit, he should be paying me and Gen rent!
Tyler finished his undergrad in three years and a master s shortly after
that. He really did get our father s brains. Mom and I could never figure
out why he didn't go for his Ph.D.
"Tyler, that money is better put toward a down payment on a house,
not—" She waves her hand aimlessly. "—freeloading off your sister
and drinking all day."
Tyler frowns and Jaeger and I glance at each other. This is serious stuff
going down. I had no idea my brother was so screwed up. Diabolically,
it makes me feel better.
"Drop it, Mom. I'll let you know when I have things figured out."
Mom cocks her head. Tyler never talks disrespectfully to our
mother—not since he smart-mouthed her at age twelve and had his
video games taken away.
She looks at me. "Do you know what's going on?"
My eyes go wide and I shake my head.
"I m still in the room," Tyler says, angrily. "If I wanted you two to
know my business, I d tell you."
He can get away with being an ass to me, but not our mom.
"Tyler!"
He storms out the front door. I jump to the window and catch him
tossing the now empty beer bottle in the trash can as he stomps across
the driveway to his car. I bang on the glass. "Hey! That goes in

recycling!"
Tyler tears down the street.
"Well," Mom says. "Guess we know your brother is in trouble." She
stands and pats her back pocket, pulling out keys. "He won't talk to me.
You ll have to help him."
Wait ... what? "You're leaving?"
She grabs her purse and looks around the room, her gaze snagging on
the enormous tent out back. "Not much I can do. He doesn t want his
mother involved in whatever is bothering him. Call me if you need to
talk. And don't let your brother drink and drive!"
I spring up. "Mom! What the hell? You can't leave this on me."
"It s not really on you. It s on him. This is his life to screw up. I m just
saying, be there if he needs to talk."
She glances at Jaeger. "And this—" Mom points to the tent and the two
of us. "Don't think I don't know what's going on." My face burns. "I
expect a visit from the two of you in the next couple of weeks so I can
get reacquainted with your boyfriend, Cali."
She squeezes the living hell out of me and smacks a kiss on my lips.
"Adios, children! " she says with a wave.
What kind of parenting is this?
This is what you call the hands-off approach.
Growing up, Mom rode Tyler and me when she needed to, but she let
us fight our own battles. It might explain why Tyler and I are so
independent. We re capable of lifting ourselves out of the dung when
things go wrong, but I get the feeling that whatever is bothering Tyler is
big. I just hope it doesn't hold him down forever.

Chapter Thirty
My CAD class delves deeper into the structure of 3D design today and
my analytical mind does a happy dance over the layering. It's finally
getting fun. I m confident about the progress I ve made and am hopeful
that by the middle of fall I ll have early mastery of AutoCAD for work.
A raise would go a long way toward solving my transportation
problems.
Leo, however, seems to be struggling. "Damn, that class is killing me,"
he says as we walk through the parking lot to his car. "You don't find it
difficult?"
I'm not going to list the classes I found difficult. Some of the higher
math and economics courses I took for a challenge in college, the
pre-law courses on constitutional and business law for sure—but
CAD? No, CAD is not one of them. "It s okay. I m happy to help if you
get
stuck."
"Thanks. I'll probably take you up on that ..." Leo's voice dies at the end
of the sentence.
I follow his gaze. A pale, slender guy with chunky black hair stands by
Leo s car, his hip propped against the door.
Leo frowns as we approach. "Brad? What are you doing here?"
"Needed a ride home. You mind?" Brad s gaze slides to me, his lips
quirking at the corners.
Leo darts an unsteady glance my way. I shrug and Leo unlocks the
doors, letting us in.
"Cool," Brad says. "Let s grab a bite first, though."
The café is on the other side of campus. Leo drives over and parks in
the lot nearby.
I skipped dinner, so this gives me a chance to eat and maybe pick
something up for the morning. Jaeger leaves early tomorrow and Leo
agreed to give me a ride to work, which is pretty big of him. He works
at a restaurant in the mornings and says giving me a ride is no big deal,
but I feel I owe him. He s really helped me get around town these last
few weeks. I hope he does take me up on the offer to help with school.
It would be one way for me to pay him back.

Gen s still working nights at the casino, and I don t trust her behind a
wheel at seven a.m. under normal conditions, let alone after only a
couple hours of sleep. Tyler hasn t returned since my mom s surprise
visit, but we ve texted. I know he s alive and staying with a friend for a
few nights. I m worried about him. He s going through something and I
wish he d just confide in me.
I have not mentioned my carpool arrangements for tomorrow to Jaeger.
He ll be gone by the time I leave, and I think he assumes Gen s taking
me to work. I didn t correct him. I m worried he ll bring up the car thing
and it still embarrasses me. I d just as soon not discuss the fact I can t
afford one, and bumming a ride from Leo is preferable to taking the
bus.
Brad holds the cooler door open for me inside the café. "What can I
get you, Cali?"
He s about average height and fairly decent looking, if it weren t for the
pockmarks in the hollows of his cheeks.
It s late and it s been a long day. I decide extravagance is in order.
"Chocolate milk, please."
"You got it." He grabs the milk, along with a sandwich, bottled water,
and a soft drink he hands to Leo. He walks to the counter and pays for
our drinks before I can say anything.
Okay—that was nice. He didn t have to do that. I offer him money for
the chocolate milk, but he shakes his head.
I grab a muffin and a can of soup and set them on the counter to pay. By
the time I return home around ten, Jaeger s passed out in his clothes on
top of the air mattress, his breathing steady and deep. He managed to
remove his shoes, so I don t bother waking him. I wash up, pull on night
clothes, and crawl under the covers beside him.
When I wake, Jaeger is gone.
I m bummed.
The legalities of getting Kate out of his house and keeping up with his
workload are taking up all his time. I pull out my phone and text him.
Cali: Missed you this morning.

He responds almost immediately.
Jaeger: I snuggled you when I woke, but you were passed out. Crushed
my ego to have my kisses swatted away like a fly. I expect recompense
this evening and ego-stroking ... other stroking acceptable as payment
as well:)
Cali: Stroking to commence this evening. Don't pass out this time
before I get home!
An hour later, I m showered and eating the last bite of my muffin when
Leo s car pulls into the driveway. Brad is in the passenger seat. Did he
say he was coming too?
I lock the front door and walk over. Leo holds his hand up in a brief
wave, his middle finger tapping a nervous beat against the steering
wheel. Brad tracks my progress to the car.
"Morning." I close the door and buckle my seatbelt.
Brad reaches back, holding a Starbucks cup. "Mocha. I noticed you like
chocolate last night."
Not as much as lattes in the morning, but I don't kick chocolate out of
bed. Ever. "Thanks," I say. "What do I owe you?"
"On me," Brad says.
I glance at Leo, who s watching the exchange through the rearview
mirror. He looks away nervously and reverses down the drive. "Brad,
you sure you don't want me to take you straight there?"
"No, I'm good." Brad taps a happy tune on the window with his finger.
"It's right by her work. I can walk from there."
So Leo s giving Brad a ride, as well. I ve got to at least offer Leo gas
money the next time we're alone.
Savoring the chocolatey goodness of my mocha, I glance out the
window at the businesses on Stateline Boulevard, taking one sip for
every name or title we pass with chalet in it. By the time Leo drops me
off in the parking lot, I ve polished off my mocha and have an extra

bounce in my step from the sugar/caffeine combo.
A warm sensation runs through me as I enter the front doors. Leftover
euphoria from my delightful mocha?
I'm happy. I mean, really happy. It's my job, or Jaeger, I don't know
which, but I don t think I ve ever been this happy in my life. The world
is a wonderful place.
I greet our receptionist, my smile freezing on my face . something isn t
right. My steps falter after I pass her desk, a mind-numbing pain
shooting through my skull. I pause at the entrance to my office, a spasm
of cramps bisecting my midsection, nausea rocking me. I pinch my lips
together and grip the door frame, taking deep breaths. Sweat breaks out
on my forehead.
Turning slowly, I look around. Going to be sick. Bathroom ... Black
dots wink in my vision. Can' t think .
The scent of vomit singes my nose.
I m choking and gagging. Choking on my vomit.
Frantic voices clamor above me.
I open my eyes, then shut them. I don't know where I am. Why am I on
the ground?
"What has she eaten? Does she take prescription or illegal drugs?" a
deep voice asks.
"Is this her purse?" "Percocet."
"Percocet? What s—" This from a high-pitched voice.
Someone wipes my mouth. A mask goes over my nose and chin. Strong
hands lift me.
I open my eyes again, and this time, an image comes into focus—Lewis
watching me from the front door, a look of shock on his face.
Men with medical patches hover over me. Paramedics. They push me
on some moving device. I m bumping over the threshold and out the
glass doors . I' m at work.
My chest rattles with each breath, my heart swooshing slowly in my
ears. My head is too heavy. I close my eyes and rest.

Moments later, I hear, "Calista? Calista, can you open your eyes?"
The voice is male, but not one I recognize. I open my eyes and the
vision in front of me isn't blurry. I move to sit up.
"Please lie still while I ask you a few questions." A doctor in a white lab
coat leans over me and flashes a light in my eyes. "They re no longer
pinpoint," he dictates to someone over his shoulder, returning his
attention to me. "Calista," he says loudly, as if I m hearing impaired. I
want to tell him he doesn t need to shout, but my mouth is dry and my
chest hurts. I still can t breathe well, and there are popping sounds
coming from my lungs. "I m Dr. Gregger. I ve just given you narcan to
counteract the opiates in your system. The paramedics said they found
Percocet in your purse when they searched for prescription and allergy
information. Have you ever used Percocet before?"
I shake my head.
"Were you given a prescription by a physician?"
Another negative head shake. I ve never heard of Percocet.
A round of phlegmy, body-rattling coughs steals my breath. I m
gasping. The doctor rattles off orders to someone in the room.
"Calista," he says, "the paramedics believe you aspirated when you
passed out. We're going to do a chest X-ray."
What seems like only minutes later, I m being admitted into the ICU.
My chest X-ray showed pneumonia.
I must have dozed. The next time I open my eyes, there's a warm
pressure on my hand. Jaeger s beside me, his large fingers wrapped
firmly around mine, his head bowed as if he s praying. My mom s at the
end of the bed, her hand gripping my foot.
"Mom? Why are you holding my foot?" My mouth is sluggish. I sound
like a lush.
Mom blinks as if startled. She s been staring silently at me for the past
minute. "Calista." She rises and crosses to my side. She kisses my
forehead and runs a cool hand down the side of my face, which feels
hot in comparison. "You've been in and out with a fever. I wasn't sure if
you were really awake this time."
Jaeger watches my face now, his breathing shaky, as if some deep
emotion has taken hold.

"What happened?" I swallow, a slightly inflamed sensation in my
throat.
Mom glances at Jaeger, then back to me. "You passed out. Your
co-workers called nine-one-one, but you got sick and breathed it in."
I glance at Jaeger. I might be embarrassed by some of this if I didn t feel
like such a train wreck.
"They ve put you on powerful antibiotics, but your lungs . " Mom s
lips pinch, and then she bites the top one. "You need rest, honey." She
pats my hand. "Lots of rest for your body to heal."
"But, Mom, why was I sick?" I think back to this morning. "I ate a
muffin and had a mocha. I felt fine until I walked into work. Then . I
don t remember."
"They discovered—" Her voice catches. "—Oxycodone in your
system—Percocet. They found more pills in your purse."
I process her words. "What s Percocet? I didn t have anything in my
purse."
She lets out a choked, quaking breath. "Cali, why are you taking drugs?
All the stories I told you about the casinos, how drugs and alcohol ruin
lives—" She shakes her head. Tears streak her cheeks. "I just never
thought you d do it. Never thought you d get caught up in that mess."
Her voice cracks the way it does when she's emotional or has just
woken up.
God, I hate that croaky voice. It means my mom s seriously upset or
seriously tired. Neither makes me feel good.
"Mom, I don't do drugs." Okay, that's a lie. "I smoked pot a couple of
times in college," I correct. "That s it. I don t know why they found that
stuff in my purse, but it's not mine."
"Honey, the doctors ran blood tests. You had remnants of the drug in
your system. And that wasn t the only one. They found ecstasy as
well."
"What?" I try to sit up, but think better of it when my arms collapse.
"I don't understand. Were you experimenting?" "Mom, no—" The
strangeness of this morning fills my head. I was happy because of
Jaeger and our little text exchange, and then really

happy after I drank that mocha. The one Brad gave me.
Why was Brad there, again? He s a strange guy. And he gave me the
drink. Leo said his roommate was into stuff—
"Mom, it wasn't me. Look, this morning I got a ride from Leo."
"Yesterday morning."
"Yesterday . ?"
"You were admitted yesterday. You ve been in the ICU for twenty-four
hours."
I lost an entire day? God, this is crazy. "Mom, check with Leo. Maybe
he knows something. His roommate Brad was there and he wasn t
supposed to be. He gave me the mocha. I—I think there might have
been something in it. Leo s expression this morning—yesterday
morning—and what Leo said about Kate—"
"What?" The dark voice comes from Jaeger. "How is Kate involved?"
On the surface, his question sounds concerned, but the edge is
threatening, as if he d like nothing more than to have another reason to
wring Kate s neck.
"Leo said he's seen Kate at parties his roommate threw. He said his
roommate was into stuff, but he didn t explain. I honestly didn t care at
the time. But what if he was referring to drugs? Kate s boyfriend is
involved in that stuff. I don t know why Brad would put something in
my drink, but he wasn t supposed to be there yesterday. Do you know
what I'm saying?" At the moment, I can't tell if anything coming out of
my mouth makes sense. My head is not exactly sharp.
The lines around Jaeger s mouth turn white. "What is Leo s number?
His full name?"
I direct Jaeger to my purse, which the hospital placed beside my bed.
He finds my phone and Leo s number. He seems reluctant to leave and
kisses my forehead. "I ll just go outside for a minute to make the
call."
I nod and he walks out the door.
Mom takes his seat. "That boy s been sitting here since I arrived. I was
at the end of the bed because there was no room beside you. Didn t have
the heart to ask him to move."

She s right. There s a screen and no chairs on my right. Jaeger had the
only spot for visitors.
"Do not be fooled by his overgrown size. He was terrified. We all were.
The doctor said he was optimistic, that with your general health you d
recover, but until you woke, I didn t know, honey. I didn t know." Her
head dips, mouth pressed to our clamped hands. Her shoulders rise and
fall on quiet sobs.
This is crazy. Why did it happen?
Tyler walks in with paper coffee cups in his hands. Surprise crosses his
features, his shoulders dropping as if a great weight has been released.
He sets the cups on the table beside my bed and without a word, bends
over and hugs me, his arm shaking where it rests along my neck.
He pulls away and draws in a breath through his nose. "What s up,
Calzone? Glad you re feeling better."
Jaeger returns a second later, followed by a police officer. "Someone
notified the police." His voice is stiff and sounds dangerous. "They
went to your work and traced you to the hospital."
I smile wearily at the officer. Jaeger looks ready to rip the guy s head
off.
I tell the officer everything I know, which is essentially not helpful. No,
I didn t take Percocet. I don t do drugs, nor do I keep a stash in my
purse—apparently, the paramedics who arrived at the scene found
ecstasy and Percocet in a side pocket of my purse when they searched
for allergy records and prescriptions. No, I tell him, I don t know why
anyone, including Leo and his roommate Brad, would give me drugs
without my knowledge.
The officer leaves, saying he ll make inquiries, but his tone is flat, as if
he thinks it s a waste of time.
He doesn't believe me.
I m still processing this and what it means when Gen rushes through the
door in her sweat pants, a tank top—probably sans bra, given it s the
one she wears to bed—and a light cropped sweatshirt. Her hair shows
signs of bedhead and she s not wearing makeup, meaning lip balm. She
has clearly come straight from bed.

"You re awake," she says on a sigh of relief. Lewis follows her into the
room, and my mom and brother exit to make space.
What is going on with these two? Why would Lewis come with her?
Oh, God. I fainted at work ... Lewis must have told Gen. The entire
office must know what happened. Am I going to lose my job? Dammit!
I just got it and I really like working for Sallee Construction.
Why would someone do this to me? I can t believe Leo would hurt me.
That leaves Brad, the generous, somewhat creepy roommate. If the
mocha is to blame for how the drugs ended up in my system, he was the
one who bought it for me. But Brad barely knows me. What did I ever
do to him?
I m so confused, and my head hurts like it tumbled in rough surf for a
few hours. The blankets of my bed are stifling. I swat Gen s hands away
when she tries to tuck them in.
"Cali," she says. "How did you get mixed up in this?"
Great, apparently everyone believes I m a druggie. I roll my eyes and
defend myself. I do it several more times until the hospital decides it s
safe to release me four days later. My fever is gone and my lungs,
though not clear, are improving as long as I take it easy in bed.
But that s not going to happen, because the police are waiting.
Jaeger puts a body-lock arm around my waist and exchanges a few
heated words with the lead officer, but it s no use. Aside from the fact
that the paramedics found the drugs in my purse, someone called the
police. Anonymously, they said I possessed illegal drugs. That s why
the police showed up at my office and later the hospital. No wonder the
officer who questioned me didn't believe me.
Jaeger, Gen, and my family follow me to the police station, but I'm
immediately separated from them, arrested, and strip-searched—most
humiliating experience ever—and taken to a holding cell. The space I
m in is empty with the exception of a bench and a stainless steel toilet
bowl. I lie on the hard bench in shock and because I m exhausted. The
popcorn sound coming from my chest has gone away, but my lungs
wheeze and feel heavy, and I have a nasty cough.
Physically I ll recover, but then what? I don t know why anyone would
do this to me, but it s like Drake blackballing me all over town.

Someone wanted to screw me over, and they did, and there s nothing I
can do about it. My own family and best friend didn t initially believe
me when I told them I hadn t intentionally taken drugs. It didn t take
long to convince them, but they know and trust me. How will I
convince the police the drugs aren t mine when all the evidence points
to me?
An officer opens the metal door to my cell several minutes later. "Bail s
been posted. You re free to go. For now."
My mom, Tyler, and Jaeger wait at the front of the police station.
Jaeger s the first out of his seat. He pulls me into a tight bear hug and
releases me for a moment so I can embrace my family. He tucks his arm
around my waist, holding much of my weight as we leave the building,
all of us uncharacteristically quiet. I should tell Jaeger I m fine, that I
don t need a crutch, but his strength is welcome because mine fails me.
I ve always thought emotional and financial dependency on a guy led to
disaster, but I don't mind it so much with Jaeger.
"They've set a court date," my mom says from the front seat of Tyler s
car. Jaeger and I are in the back. I m sitting in the middle seat, my body
plastered to him, his arm wrapped around me like a bungee cord.
Even with all this love and support, the truth of the matter disturbs me.
The police think I'm guilty of drug possession. How will I get out of
this? My eyes burn and blur, my raspy chest giving away my emotions
as my breaths quicken and sputter.
"Babe," Jaeger lifts my chin. "I'll find out who did this to you."
I nod. Somehow, as scary as everything is, I believe him. Because we
chose each other and that makes us right. What we have is real and
empowering. I was the rock in my other relationships, but Jaeger is the
boulder I cling to in the middle of the deep blue lake.

A lake is the landscape s most beautiful and expressive feature. It is
earth s eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his
own nature.
—Henry David Thoreau
Chapter Thirty-One
Big surprise—I m out of a job for a while. I don t blame John Sallee; he
had no choice. In his defense, he gave me unpaid leave until my court
hearing. John can t ignore the charges against me, but he s optimistic
they ll be dropped. Which is good of him, considering he s only known
me a few weeks.
Jaeger walks through the gate to our backyard. I m on the lounge chair I
moved from our patio—now bedroom—to the dirt. I actually enjoy this
vantage point better; it places me square with nature. I m thankful for
the little things these days, like beautiful trees, a tasty jar of green
olives, and time with my boyfriend, while everything else flushes down
the crapper.
Jaeger lifts me, sketchpad and all, and plants himself in my spot on the
chaise, sprawling me along the length of his body. My muscles tense at
first, bracing for balance, then settle in comfortably. I pick up my
pencil and resume the sketch I m working on. The Jaeger lounge is my
new favorite furniture.
He plants his hands on my hips, fingers caressing the indent of my
waist. I wiggle as his warm palms send chemical signals to my girl
parts.
A low growl rumbles from his chest. "Easy, or you ll find yourself
beneath me, your work tossed across the yard."
I chuckle. That s not a threat, that s something I m looking forward to
and plan to make happen just as soon as Gen leaves for work. A week
has passed since my prison time—I m a full ex-con now—and I ve
regained the bulk of my energy. With heavy antibiotics and bed rest, I
recovered fairly quickly once I was home. All things considered, I m
freaking lucky to be alive. In the meantime, Jaeger has hired a private

investigator to look into the drugging. It s so police reality show. I ve
gone from a bad eighties chick flick parody to reality TV.
Jaeger raises the side of my sketchpad. I'm drawing an abstract of a
man pulling a woman from the water, using a million tiny shapes I
favor for design. It s possible the expression on the man s face
resembles the look Jaeger gave me after I woke in the hospital.
"You re amazing," he says into the hair above my ear.
I lay my pencil in my lap and link our fingers. "I m a jailbird. You sure
you want to keep associating with me?"
His body stiffens, and not the good part.
A shot of panic rattles my nearly healed lungs. "Jaeger?"
"I spoke to the PI this afternoon." His thumb rubs gentle circles along
the top of my hand, and I relax a little. "He linked Brad to Kate s
drug-dealer boyfriend and notified the police. Brad s got a long prior
arrest history—petty theft, a couple of drug charges that had been
dropped. He's never served time, but he'll go to prison for this."
I sit up and face him, my sketchpad flapping to the ground. "So Brad is
for sure connected to Kate?" The idea seemed the most plausible when
I relayed everything I knew about that morning and Leo s connection to
her, but somehow it s hard to believe Kate would go this far.
Jaeger picks up my pad and dusts it off. He sets it on my lap and pulls
me close. "I m so sorry, Cali. Brad confessed his history with Kate s
boyfriend this morning in exchange for reduced charges. He admitted
to grinding up the Percocet and dumping it in your drink. An
intermediary ordered him to do it, but Brad guesses the order came
from Kate s boyfriend. Brad owes the guy for something. He told the
investigators he had no knowledge of why you were targeted, just that
he was told to plant narcotics."
"But my drink—"
"That was Brad improvising. He claimed he didn t know you d have a
potentially fatal reaction to the drug." Jaeger's arm tightens around me.
"He said he was covering his bases in case the drugs he dropped in your
purse weren't enough for an arrest."
Jaeger sits up and I roll on his lap like a buoy, his arms steadying

me before I fall. "With Brad s confession, my PI says the charges
against you will be dropped. You ll hear from the police soon and you ll
be able to return to work, but I m not letting what happened go. It s my
fault Kate did this to you."
He's trying to tell me something here, but all I can think is it's over.
They believe me now. I'm free!
"I told the police about Kate, but the link to her is circumstantial. There
s no hard evidence she had anything to do with it."
"It s suspicious, but Brad is going to jail. Pretty soon Kate will be out of
your house too," I say. "We can move on."
Jaeger s expression tightens. "She ignored the eviction notice. Says she
s not leaving and that I can t force her. She claims I told her she can live
there rent-free and that she has a legal right to be there."
"What? How can she do the things she's done and expect to get away
with them?"
"She won t. She lied about the pregnancy and she s behind the
drugging."
I blink sharply. "We assume . there s a link between Brad and her
boyfriend, but . "
Jaeger shuts his eyes for along moment before looking at me intently.
"I never told you what she was like in high school." The hand on his
thigh clenches. "You have no idea how much her being here makes me
crazy. I haven't seen her in years and I thought I never would, but after
what she s done . I won t let her ruin our relationship or hurt you again."
"You re worried she will?"
"She ll try. She s the same vindictive, selfish person she was when I
knew her years ago."
"What did she do, Jaeger? I asked Tyler, but he didn t say much. Just
called her a bitch."
"That s apt," he says wryly. "When I first met Kate in my sophomore
year of high school, I thought she was this sweet, quiet person, who
worked part-time at an ice cream shop with a girl I d just started dating.
The girl was social and outgoing, until a rumor spread she was sleeping
with one of the teachers.

"The rumors were graphic, the timing and circumstances difficult to
refute. They fired the teacher and I stopped seeing the girl. She tried to
defend herself. She told me the rumor was a lie, that she d never slept
with him. She claimed she d never been with anyone. I didn t believe
her. She was pretty. She'd dated a couple of guys I knew by reputation.
I just assumed ... Anyway, I was stupid and self-involved with my
training. I thought, if she could lie about being a virgin, what was
stopping her from lying about the teacher?
"The school administration believed the rumors too. It was a done deal.
Six months later, the girl switched high schools and I never saw her
again. I didn't think about her after that. I'd already started dating Kate."
I think I see where this is going, and it makes me sick for Jaeger and the
girl he dated. "Kate had something to do with the rumor?" I ask.
"I didn t know it at first. She told me she quit her job at the ice cream
shop because her parents didn t want her taking time away from her
studies. I discovered a few months later through a mutual friend that
she d been fired for stealing. I confronted her about it, and she said she
was embarrassed and that it was a little white lie. That if I loved her I
wouldn t make her feel worse. The stealing was one of several lies or
omissions I caught her in throughout our relationship.
"After Kate broke up with me, every doubt I ever had about her
surfaced. During my knee recovery, I looked up that girl I d been dating
when Kate and I met. She told me Kate used her to get the job at the ice
cream shop and then pumped her for information. About her. About
me. She swore she never hooked-up with the teacher. That it was all a
lie and that the only person who knew her whereabouts that day was
Kate. She told me she always thought Kate had been the one to start the
rumor, but she couldn t prove it.
"Cali, I d been told the truth from the start, and I chose not to believe it.
I trusted the one person I shouldn t have."
Jesus. Kate is evil. "It wasn t your fault. You were young and you didn
t know."
"I was naïve and selfish, only thinking about my goals. In the
beginning, Kate didn t complain about my training schedule, and she
was sweet. But it was all a lie. By the time she broke up with me, I was

recovering from my accident, a mess, and all I could think was good. I
won't have to be the one to pull the plug. The real Kate is jealous, cruel,
manipulative ... the list goes on."
I knew they had a history. I never imagined this. I can t believe he let
her live in his house after what she did in high school. But like he said,
he thought he had the little girl to think about. He did it to protect the
child.
"I remained single a long time after that. Once I stopped drinking and
hooking-up and actually dated women again, I remembered that good
people exist. Kate is not the norm. And then I ran into you." The
corners of his mouth curve up before a serious look replaces it. "I won t
let her come between us, Cali."
I rest my head under his chin and circle my arms around his waist.
"What now? If she won't leave, what do we do?"
He scrubs his face, weariness playing around his eyes. "How do you
feel about kicking out an unwanted guest?"

Chapter Thirty-Two
"So, how should we play this?" I ask.
Crazy schemes fill my head. Hauling Kate by the hair, cat-fight style,
and dragging her out of the house kicking and screaming after throwing
her likely illegally purchased designer crap in the dirt. Spraying her and
her fancy car with a hose until she leaves Jaeger s property. Setting up
booby traps inside the house. Or there s the good, old-fashioned
burning all her clothes in the outside fire pit and changing the locks
trick. Jaeger would need a high-tech alarm system in case she tried to
climb back in through a window. She s a wily one; I don t put anything
past her. Of course, none of my ideas are as vindictive and cruel as
what she did to me, but I'm not a crazy bitch.
Jaeger pulls up to his house and I m bouncing in my seat. This is some
serious showdown at the O.K. Corral shit. "Well? What do you think?
We need a plan before we go in."
His gaze flicks to Kate's car. "I have a plan. Follow my lead."
Ohhh, a man in charge. So totally hot. "Check! " I scramble out of his
truck and try to match his long strides to the front door. It s like keeping
up with walking tree trunks.
Jaeger sweeps into the house, his eyes slowly taking in the room.
Crumpled fast food bags lay scattered over tables and the floor.
Clothing and trash dangle from the chandelier. Dishes are stacked to
toppling in the sink, the counters covered in a rainbow of
sticky-looking dried-up spills and leftover food. The place smells like a
combination of expensive hair spray and rotting meat.
Jaeger's beautiful home is a disaster. What has Kate been doing?
Music blasts from the back bedroom. Jaeger s office. The one he
locked.
He storms back and I follow.
Kate s sitting at his desk, like last time, her feet kicked up at the corner,
fingers pounding the keyboard of his computer. "I thought you took
that to Mason's," I whisper. "I needed it for work, so I left it here. It was
password protected,"

he growls. "Kate! "
Her fingers still, but she doesn't look up right away. She minimizes the
screen and slowly swivels her head. "Yes?"
"You lied to me about having a kid and you tried to frame Cali. You're
lucky she didn't die from the drugs your friend gave her."
I try to not think about the high fatality rate after aspirating vomit. It s
kind of frightening.
"I m sick of your shit. I never want to see your face again. You ve been
legally ordered to leave my house, and now I'm ordering you."
Jaeger is large and imposing, but it s not his size that s so intimidating,
it s his voice. The deep rumble directed at Kate could quell a lion.
"Don t act all gruff and intimidating, Jaeger," she says in her nasal
whine. "We both know you'd never hurt a female."
He might not, but I have no problem hurting Kate. I step in front of
Jaeger, but he drags me back. I glare at him and he shakes his head.
Kate grabs an aerosol container and pops the cap, oblivious to danger.
She sprays nail polish drying formula onto her red toenails—and the
surface of Jaeger s oak Mission-style desk.
Jaeger leans his hip against the door frame and crosses his arms. "Nice
car you got out there, Kate."
She leans forward and picks at a hangnail on the corner of her toe. Her
eyes flicker in his direction. "What about it?"
"The VIN indicates it s your boyfriend s car. Word around town is the
condo you own in Reno was purchased with his drug money as well,
and that you played a part in his meth lab."
Her head whips around. "That s a lie! "
"You had your boyfriend order his dealer buddy to drug Cali. You re an
accomplice, and I can prove the link between you and Brad. If I want, I
can make it so you have a home just like the one your man's in. Nice
and compact, living the simple life."
Kate s feet are on the ground in seconds. "What do you want, Jaeger?"
Her words are punchy with anger.
Cornered and still a bitch. Impressive.
"I want you out of my house and my life for good. Don't go near

my family and friends, or order anyone else near them. Matter of fact,
might be a good idea if you left California and Nevada and went
somewhere far away."
"You're crazy. I'm not leaving. Besides, I don't have any ..."
"Money?" Jaeger s arms drop and he straightens to his full height. "Sell
the ten grand worth of crap you purchased on my credit card prior to
my finding out—" I choke, blinking uncontrollably. Ten grand? "—and
the apartment you own, and move away. You might consider getting a
job for once in your life. It s over, Kate. There s no one left to freeload
from. Your family filed restraining orders against you."
"What? Not my mom."
"Your mother, your father, and your sister and her family. Everyone. I
filed one this morning. So technically, it's illegal for you to be this close
to me and my property. I could have you arrested."
A stunned moment of silence congeals as Kate takes in Jaeger s words.
In her attempt to screw others, she has ultimately screwed herself. She
has no one.
Kate looks around the office, as if searching for someone or something
to save her. Her jaw hardens and she shoulders past us to the spare
bedroom. We hear a zipper unwinding, along with drawers screeching
open and closed. It s like music to my ears.
Ten minutes later, Kate is in her car and pulling out of the driveway.
Jaeger and I stand for a few moments in silence, watching her car
disappear down the drive, just soaking up the peace that is a Kate-free
house for the first time in weeks. I look back, considering. His beautiful
home has been totally contaminated.
Jaeger pulls out his phone, scrolling through his contacts. "Don t worry,
I'm having it detoxed. Calling my cleaning lady right now."
"I'll pitch in for new bedding."
He winks. "Already on it, babe. By tomorrow we ll be sleeping on a
king-sized mattress inside an actual home, though I did enjoy camping
with you. Our tent and air mattress will still get time." He shifts his
attention to the receiver. "Janice? This is Jaeger. I need you to come
over and do a full cleaning and some shopping." He covers the speaker.

"What color bedding?"
He s asking me what I like? For his home? I tell him my preferences
and he relays them to his housekeeper.
The call ends and it s silent again, except for the sound of the water
lapping the rocks below, birds chirping, pine needles rustling lightly on
the breeze. I take in these sounds and enjoy them thoroughly. I hadn t
realized how much Kate s presence brought the world down. It s like
the weight of a mountain has been lifted.
Jaeger grabs my hand. "Come on. I have something to show you."
Hmm, everything he s shown me I ve enjoyed. I happily climb in his
truck, relishing the freedom of going anywhere and doing whatever we
want.
Jaeger drives us to a street named Beach Drive in the Keys. It s right
along the water, and the homes here are enormous. He pulls into a
driveway with a four-car garage. The house itself is about a quarter of a
block wide and overlooks the lake. Jaeger s home is on the lake, too,
but it s up a rise with more distant views. This place is practically on the
lake and, with a façade of decorative shingles and stone, it's impressive.
"Who lives here?" I ask.
"A client I want you to meet. I think you'll like their newest art." He
grins mysteriously.
He s taking me to see one of his pieces? Inside someone s home? Isn t
that intrusive? "Okay-y-y. You re sure that s all right with the owner?"
His smile widens. "Pretty sure. I ve told them about you, and they want
to meet you."
What in the world? "Your clients want to meet your jailbird, dropout
girlfriend?"
"Yup." He leans over and sweetly kisses my lips. His fingers slide a
lock of hair behind my ear. The kiss is innocent, but the look in his eyes
is naughty and I like it. "None of that was your fault. Besides, adversity
makes people stronger. Sometimes it makes them their best self," he
adds with a self-mocking grin.
He s right. Where Jaeger is today is infinitely better than if he d stayed
on the Olympic track with Kate by his side. He could have

permanently damaged his knees, been crippled. And God knows what
would have happened if he d ended up married to Kate.
I shiver in horror. That is a fate no one should suffer.
It s easier to look at another person s life and know they are better off;
not so easy to do it with your own. The only thing I know for sure is that
my feelings for Jaeger are the real deal. I never would have known this
kind of love had I stayed with Eric or someone like him.
I cup my hand around Jaeger s strong jaw and kiss him softly. I can't
believe he is mine.
We walk to the front door, and a man with silver hair and reading
glasses answers. He greets Jaeger, and Jaeger introduces me.
"This is Cali?" the man says, as if he's heard of me before. Jaeger said
he wanted to shop some of my designs. Maybe he told this guy about
my work?
"Shall we?" the man says, and waves a hand inside.
I glance at Jaeger, a big fat question on my face.
He steps forward and follows the owner through a large entry, which
looks straight back to a wall-high view of the lake. We turn left into a
living room about five times the size of the chalet. Wall-to-wall
windows overlook mountains and lake, divided in the center by a stone
fireplace.
I ve never experienced this kind of wealth. I m star-struck by the view
and the elaborate furniture. A minute passes before I realize Jaeger and
his client are staring at the wall behind me. It s wide and tall, and
blank—with the exception of a single piece of art. One of Jaeger's
wood carvings, only this one is on steroids.
The piece is the size of a small car, though the room accommodates it,
and it is a-ma-zing. I've never seen anything so beautiful.
Another full minute passes, before I realize the design is one of my
own.
Holy shit. It s my yard—my backyard. The trees I sketch all the time.
This is one of the first drawings I did after Gen and I arrived for the
summer.
I open my mouth to say something and nothing comes out. My throat is
dry. I cough to clear it, which results in loud hacking, as the

cough from my pneumonia hasn t fully gone away. "Excuse me," I
choke out.
"I ll get you some water," the man offers, and walks off.
"Well," Jaeger whispers, "what do you think?"
I'm shaking as if I were standing in front of a large audience. I have
freaking stage fright, and it s all Jaeger s fault. My wonderful boyfriend
sold a piece of my art. Our art. And it s incredible. The way he captured
the design elements, the shading from the wood itself, to complement
the image. There are no words for what I think or how I
feel.
It's just a sketch of my simple backyard, but it's stunning—the way I
see our yard. And maybe that s art. Seeing the beauty others miss and
capturing it.

Chapter Thirty-Three
The ride back to Jaeger s is silent, what with the bomb he dropped. It
took on nuclear proportions when he handed me a check for my portion
of the commission—forty percent. If he shocked me speechless with
the carving, I almost passed out when he handed me the check. Jaeger
had to get me out of his client s house quickly; my speech had degraded
to mumbles and gasps.
Thousands of dollars sit in my sweaty little hand. More than I made in
two months working at Blue. One or two commissions a year with
Jaeger, plus my job at Sallee Construction, and I d officially have a new
and exciting career in art. Of course, I couldn t do the commissions
without Jaeger. His talent brings my drawings to life.
He has a pleased grin as we make our way back to his house, flicking
me glances now and then. He knows he s shocked the hell out of me.
Seeing my design beautifully displayed on someone s wall is like
winning the lottery. There is nothing better, except being with Jaeger.
I ve turned into a corny, love-struck girlfriend.
I m okay with that.
We pull down Jaeger s long driveway and my heart speeds up as his
house comes into view. Near the front door is a brand-new white SUV.
It s not a luxury brand, but it s new and my hackles go up. Another one
of his cougar clients? A trick from Kate? Or one of her evil
accomplices?
"Don't worry," Jaeger says as he scans my face. "That one's supposed to
be here."
"Whose is it?"
I was looking forward to some alone time with Jaeger so I could show
him how much I appreciated his efforts with my drawing and helping
my art career. He is the best boyfriend in the world and I have plans for
how to thank him. Detailed, creative, body-art type plans. Sort of like
Twister, bedroom style.
"It's yours."
Huh? "What s mine?"

"The car. I bought it for you, but really it s an investment in my peace
of mind. I might have an aneurysm if I go one more day worrying about
you and how you re getting around."
Normally, something like this would go against my whole I am an
independent woman thing, but all I can do is smile. No one should be
dependent on someone else for their happiness, but this is not about
coddling. Jaeger loves me, and this is how he s showing his love. He s
worried about my safety and wants to take care of me. The sentiment is
mutual, because I want to take care of him. That s a part of the loving
business. I don't feel trapped or dependent. I feel loved.
"You bought me a car."
He nods.
I look at my pretty new vehicle. The sports utility aspect will come in
handy. Good for Tahoe summers—and winters. "I love it," I say, but I'm
looking at him, the emotion he fills me with pouring out.
Jaeger leans over and we kiss, long and slow, merging all manner of
feelings into one point of heated contact.
After a moment, I lift my head. "Thank you ... for everything.
Everything you've given me." And I'm not referring to the car.
"You ve given me more."
THE END

Coming in May 2014 from Jules Barnard, Book 2 of the Blue Series
BLUE CRUSH
What exactly is going on between Gen and Lewis, and will Drake get
away with using the casino as his sinful playground?
On the cusp of a humiliating breakup from the safe, conservative
boyfriend, who ended up betraying her, Genevieve Tierney moves to
Lake Tahoe with her best friend after graduation, determined to throw
off the financial reins of her mother s dirty money and lick her romantic
wounds. Earning cash at one of Lake Tahoe s lucrative casinos and
keeping a safe distance from cheating jerks seems like a good plan,
until she meets the one guy tempting enough to drag her back down.
Lewis Sallee is six and a half feet of perfectly sculpted mountain man,
who captures Gen s attention from the moment he walks in the door.
Her play-it-safe approach to relationships flies out the window as Lewis
s presence awakens a sex drive she never knew she had. Lewis is in a
complicated relationship with one of the most beautiful women Gen
has ever seen, and despite all logical reasons to stay away—and she s a
logic devotee—Gen can't seem to control her body's attraction to him.
Feeling like a magnet for the worst sort of guys, Gen's desperate to win
the battle for self-control around Lewis and put the sleazy casino men
pestering her in their place. When her friend suggests she step out of
her comfort zone to build self-confidence, Gen signs up for Lake Tahoe
s gritty Alpine Mudder, an endurance race filled with extreme
obstacles. But as Gen prepares for one of the biggest physical
challenges of her life, her emotional strength is pushed to its limits when
she finds herself agreeing to train with Lewis and his mudder team after
realizing she needs his help. Spending time alone with Lewis tests her
willpower

and has her fighting her body s attraction—while her mind and heart
are not far behind.

Afterword
I hope you enjoyed Deep Blue. Please consider leaving a review at the
site where you purchased it or on GoodReads.
To learn about upcoming releases from Jules Barnard, sign up for her
newsletter. You will only receive notifications when new titles are
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never share your contact information with others.
Follow Jules on Twitter at @jules_barnard, or visit her website at

www.julesbarnard.com

.

The Blue Series continues in Book 2, Blue Crush. Out May 2014.
Book 3, True Blue, is due in late summer 2014. Details forthcoming on
her website and in her newsletter.

Acknowledgements
I couldn t have completed a single book without the support of my
husband. He entertains the kids when I m on deadline or need to get an
idea down before it drifts into the ether, and places food in front of me
when I forget to eat. Thank you, Patrick, for your love and support and
for reading my girly manuscripts and finding all the dialogue "a guy
would never say." Along those lines, I d like to thank my children for
making me stop and smell the roses—literally, they shove them in my
face—no matter how busy life gets.
A huge thank-you to my agent, Laura Bradford, for her unwavering
support of Deep Blue and intelligent insights along the path to
publication. Heartfelt thanks to my critique partners and beta
readers—Lia Riley, Jennifer Ryan, and Marlene Relja—who ve been
there from the beginning. A special thank-you for the expertise and
hard work of editors Laura Ownbey and Shelley Bates. No author is
complete without her writer s groups, so a collective thank-you to the
Rogue ladies, members of the Silicon Valley RWA, and members of the
small but powerfully supportive Monterey Bay RWA group. Last, but
in no way least, a huge thank-you to Sarah Hansen of Okay Creations
for coming up with the Deep Blue cover and series design.
In researching Cali s unintentional drug overdose and the subsequent
fallout, I received valuable assistance from the South Lake Tahoe
Police Department, and my friend and ER doctor, Rob Collins. Any
errors on these topics are mine alone.
A final thank-you to the rest of my friends and family who ve supported
my writing. Love to you all!

Table of Contents
Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five
Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter
Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter
Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter
Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter
Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three Afterword
Acknowledgements