BlindPromises

ChapterOne

DanacametowithMrs.Pibbsstandingoverher,takingherpulse.Forjustamomentshewasbackin
her student nurse's class six years earlier, watching Mrs. Pibbs give pointers on nursing procedure.
Butwhenshefeltthestabsofpaininherheadandthebruisesonherslenderbody,sherealizedthat
shewasn'tinclass.ShewasapatientinAshtonGeneralHospital.

Her face felt tight when she tried to speak, and her head throbbed abominably. "Mother...?" she
managedweakly.

Mrs.Pibbssighed,layingthelong,fingeredyounghanddownonthecrispwhitesheet."I'msorry,my
dear,"shesaidgently.

TearsrandowntheNordicface,mistingthesoftbrowneyesintheirframeoftousledplatinum-blond
hair. She'd known before she asked the question. Her last memory was of her mother's unnatural
positioninthemetallictangleofthefrontseat.Butshe'dhoped...

"Yourfatherishere,"Mrs.Pibbssaid.

Dana'shurteyesflashed."No,"shesaidstiffly.

Theolderwomanlookedshocked."Youdon'twanttoseeMr.Steele?"

Dana'seyesclosed.Afterwhathermotherhadconfessedjustbeforethewreck,sheneverwantedto
seehimagain."Idon'tfeeluptoit,"shesaidtightly.

"Youaren'tcriticallyinjured,Nurse,"Mrs.Pibbsremindedherinthattutorvoice."Justsomebruises
andafewdeeplacerations;notevenabrokenbone.We'reobservingyoubecauseofaconcussionand
shockmorethanforanygreatinjury."

"Iknow.Please,Mrs.Pibbs,I'msotired,"shepleaded.

The plump woman's hard face melted a little at the look. For all her facade of stone, she was a
marshmallowinside."Allright,"sheagreedfinally."I'lltellhimyouaren'tuptoit.ShallIaskhim
anything?"

Danablinkedhereyes."Thefuneralarrangements....IsmyAuntHelentakingcareofthose,ormust
I...?"

"YourauntandIspokebrieflythismorning.Everythingisbeingtakencareof,"camethequietreply.
"It'stobetomorrow.Yourauntwillbebylatertoexplain."

Dananodded,closinghereyeswearily.Itseemedlikeanightmare.Ifonlyshecouldwakeup!

"I'lltellMr.Steeleyou'reindisposed,"Mrs.Pibbsaddedformally,andleftDanaalone.

Danaturnedherfacetothewall.Shecouldn'tbeareventhesightofherfather,thesoundofhisname.
Poor little Mandy, poor little Mandy, who hadn't the weapons to survive all alone after twenty-five
yearsofbeingprovidedfor.Itwasinevitablethatshe'dbreakeventually.Forthefirstfewweeksafter
thedivorcewasfinal,Danahadbeenonthelookoutforittohappen.

Butithadn't,notevenwhenJackSteeleannouncedhismarriagetooneofthewomenheworkedwith,
ablond,motherlywomanwhomDanahadonlyseenonce.

Mandyhadheldon,workingataflorist'sshop,doingwell,apparentlyhappyandwitheverythingto
livefor.

Until Jack had been married three months. And then, last night, Mandy had called Dana, crying
hysterically,andbeggedforatalk.

Danahadgone,asshealwayswentwhenMandycalled,andfoundhermotherdrinkingheavily.

"Let'sgoouttosupper,"Mandyhadbegged,herpalebrowneyeswaterywithhottears,herwrinkled
faceshowingitsage."Ican'tbear,beingaloneanymore.Let'sgoouttosupperandtalk.Ithoughtyou
mightwanttocomebackhomeandlivewithmeagain."

Danahadbeenasflooredbythestatehermotherwasinasshewasbytherequest.Shedidn'twantto
live at home again; she wanted her independence. But there had to be some kind way to tell Mandy
that,andshewassearchingforitwhentheywentouttothecar.

"I'll drive," Mandy had insisted. "I'm fine, dear, really I am. Just a couple of martinis, you know,
nothingheavy.

Getin,getin."

At that point Dana should have insisted on driving, but she'd been upset by her mother's sudden
requestthatshemovebackinandshe'dclimbedobedientlyintothefrontseat.

"It will be lovely having you home again," Mandy cooed as she drove them toward a nearby
restaurant.

"But,Mother—"Danabegan.

"Yourfathersaidyouwouldn't,butIknewhewaslying,"Mandyhadcontinued,unabashed.Tearshad
suddenly sprung from her eyes, and her hands on the wheel had trembled. "He said you were glad
we'ddivorced,soyoucouldspendmoretimewithhimwithout...withouthavingtoseemeatthesame
time.Hesaidyouhatedme."

Danarememberedcatchingherbreathandstaringblanklyathermother."Ididn't!"sheburstout."I
neversaidsuchathing!"

Thethinoldmouthbegantotremble."Hemademegoalongwiththedivorce,youknow.Hemade

me...."

"Dad?"she'dqueried,shocked.Ithardlysoundedlikehim,butMandywouldn'tlietoher,surely.

"Therehavebeenotherwomensincewemarried,Dana,"she'dcontinuedhotly."Heonlymarriedme
becauseyouwereontheway.Andhetriedtogetridofyouassoonashefoundout..."

Danahadbeendevastated.Sheopenedhermouthtospeak,buthermotherwouldn'tlethergetaword
in.

"I called you tonight because I'd decided that...that I was going to kill myself." Mandy had laughed
hysterically,andherhandsonthewheelhadjerked;thecarhadaccelerated."ButthenIgottothinking
thatIneedn'tdothat;Ineedn'tbealone.Youcouldcomehomeandstaywithme.Youdon'tneedto
stayinthatapartmentalone."

"ButI'mnotalone,Ihavearoommate,"Danahadtriedtoreasonwithher.

"We'llhavesuchfun,"Mandycontinuedwildly.SheturnedherheadtolookatDana."Heneverwanted
you,butIdid.Youweremybaby,mylittlegirl...."

"Mama,lookout!"Danahadseenthetruck,butMandyhadn't.Beforeshecouldgetherfoggedmind
to function, the truck was on top of them. Then there was only the sound of crunching metal,
splinteringglass....

Danafelthottearsrundownhercheeks.Sheweptbitterly.Notonlyhadshelosthermother,butnow
sheunderstoodwhytherehadbeenargumentsallthetime,whyherparentshadbeensohostiletoward
eachother.Itevenexplainedwhyherfatherhadn'tcomenearhersincethedivorce.He'donlymarried
Mandy because he'd had to. He hadn't wanted Dana, not ever. No wonder he had always been away
fromhome.Nowonderhe'dnevertriedtobuildanykindofrelationshipwithhisdaughter.He'dhated
herbecauseshe'dforcedhimtomarryawomanhedidn'tlove—hadneverloved.

SuddenlyMrs.Pibbswalkedintotheroom,andDanadabbedatthetearswithacornerofthesheet.

"Yourfather'sgone,"shetoldtheyoungnurse,wincingatthedeeplacerationsontheoncespotless
complexion.

There would be scars, although Mrs. Pibbs had determined that she wasn't going to tell Dana about
thatjustyet.

Danahadhadquiteenoughforoneday.

Danalickedherdrylips."Thankyou,Mrs.Pibbs."

"Headache?"

Shemanagedawansmile."Areallymurderousone.CouldIhavesomething,doyouthink?"

"AssoonasDr.Willismakeshisrounds."Shecheckedherwristwatch."Andthatwillbeinaveryfew
minutes."

Danabecameawareofthediscomfortinherfaceandfeltthebandagesononecheek.Shestarted."My
face...!"

"Youshouldhealverywell,"Mrs.Pibbssaidfirmly.

"Itwasinevitable,withallthatbrokenglass.Itisn'tsobad,mydear.You'realive.You'reverylucky
thatyouwerewearingyourseatbelt"

Dana'slowerliptrembled."Mrs.Pibbs,mymother...Wasitquick?"

Theolderwomansighed."Itwasinstantaneous,theambulanceattendantstoldus.Now,yourest.Don't
dwellonit,justrest.Thememorywillfade,thecutswillfade.Itonlyneedstime."Hereyesweresad
foramoment.

"Dana,IlostmymotherwhenIwasfifteen.Irememberverywellhowithurt.Istillmissher,butgrief
doespass.Ithasto."

"IfonlyI'dinsistedondriving...!"Danaburstout,thetearsreturning."It'sallmyfault!"

"No, my dear, it isn't. The truck that hit your mother's car ran a stop sign. Even if you had been
driving, it would have been unavoidable." She moved forward and uncharacteristically brushed the
wildblondhairawayfromDana'sbruisedface."Thedriverofthetruckwasonlyscratched.Isn'titthe
wayofthings?"sheaddedwithasadsmile.

Danabitherlip."Yes,"shemurmured.

"Jennysaidshe'dseeyoulater,bytheway,"theoldernurseadded."AndMissEnaaskedaboutyou."

Dana couldn't repress a tiny smile, even through her grief. Miss Ena had undergone a gall bladder
operation days before, and was the bane of the nursing staff. But strangely, she'd taken a liking to
Danaandwoulddoanythingtheyoungnurseasked.

"Tellher,please,thatI'llbebackondutyFridaynight,"Danasaidgently."Ifthat'sallrightwithyou."

"Thatdependsonhowwellyouarebythen,"wasthesternreply."We'llwaittoseeaboutthefuneral
untilDr.

Willishasseenyou.Youhavetobeprepared:Hemayverywellrefusetoletyougo."

Dana'seyesblurredagainwithhottears."ButImust!"

"Youmustgetwell,"Mrs.Pibbsreplied."I'llseeyoulater,Nurse.I'mverybusy,butIwantedtocheck
onyou.

Dr.Williswillbearoundshortly."Shepausedatthedoor,hereyesfranklyconcernedasshewatched
theblondheadsettlebackonthepillow.Somethingwaswrongthere,verywrong.Dana'sfatherhad
saidasmuchwhenhewastoldthatsherefusedtoseehim.Buthewasn'tgoingtoinsist,hetoldMrs.
Pibbs.Danawouldworkitoutherself.

Butwouldshe?Mrs.Pibbswondered.

Dr.Willisstoppedbythirtyminuteslater,andDanawasshuttledoffshortlyafterwardtoXRay.For
therestoftheday,testswererunandresultswerecorrelated,andbynightthetearfulyoungnursewas
giventheverdict.

"Nofuneral,"Dr.Willissaidwithfaintapologyashemadehisnightrounds."I'msorry,Dana,buta
concussionisn'tsomethingyouplayaroundwith.Yourheadtookabrutalknock:Ican'triskletting
youupsosoon."

"Thencantheypostponethefuneral...?"Danaaskedhopefully.

Heshookhishead."Yourauntisinnoconditiontoputitoff,"hesaidbluntly.Andheshouldknow:
HerAuntHelenwashispatienttoo."Mandywasheronlylivingrelative,exceptforyou.She'spretty
devastated.No,Dana,thesoonerit'sover,thebetter."

"ButIwanttogo,"Danawailedbitterly.

"Iknowthat.AndIunderstandwhy,"hesaidgently."Butyouknowthatthebodyisonlytheshell.The
substance, the spark, that was her soul is already with God. It would be like looking at an empty
glass."

Thewordswereoddlycomfortingandtheymadesense.Buttheydidn'teasethehurt.

Dr.Willistookherpulseandexaminedhereyes."ShallIcallDickandhavehimcomebyandtalkto
you?"heaskedwhenhefinished,namingherminister.

Shenodded."Yes,please.Itwouldbe...agreathelprightnow.AuntHelen—isshecomingtoseeme?"

He shook his head. "Not tonight I've had to sedate her. The shock, for both of you, has been bad.
Where'sJack?

I'dhavethoughthe'dbewithyou."

"Myfatherhasafamilytothinkabout,"shesaidbitterly.

Hestaredather."You'rehisfamilytoo."

"Tellhim,"shesaidcurtly,staringback."Becausehehasn'tevenphonedmesincethedivorce.SinceI
lefthome.SinceIwentintonurse'straining!Never!"

"Isee."

"No, you don't." She looked down at the white hospital sheet. "I'm very sorry, Dr. Willis; I know
you'reonlytryingtohelp.ButthisissomethingIhavetoworkoutbymyself."

Henodded."IfIcanhelp,Iwill.I'veknownyourfamilyforalongtime."

Shesmiledathim."Yes.Thankyou."

"We'll keep you for.two or three days, depending on how you progress," he said gently. "I wish I
couldgiveyousomethingforthegrief.ButonlyGodcandothat"

AuntHelencamebythenextmorning,dressedinawildlyexpensivebluesuitwithapeekaboohatand
lookingasneatasapin.ShelookedalotlikeMandy,butshewastallerandthinner.Andmuchmore
emotional.

"Oh, darling," she wailed, throwing herself on Dana in a haze of expensive perfume and a chiffon
scarf."Oh,darling,howhorribleforusboth.PoorMandy!"

Dana, just beginning to get herself back together, lost control again and wept. "I know," she
whispered."AuntHelen,shewassounhappy,somiserable."

"I know. I told her she never should have married that man. I warned her, but she wouldn't listen!"
AuntHelendrewawaywithatearfulsigh.Herbrowneyeswerewetwithtears."Iknewtheminuteshe
toldmeaboutthedivorcethatshewouldn'tbewithusmuchlonger.Shewasn'tstrongenoughtolive
alone,youknow."

"Yes,Iknow,"Danagroaned.Shedabbedathereyeswithatissue."Itallhappenedsoquickly;shewas
drinking...."

"They told me everything. But, darling, why did you let her drive? Didn't you realize what might
happen?"

Danafeltherfacestiffen."Yes,but..."

"Ofallthestupidthingstodo,andyoumighthavejusttakenthekeysfromherinthefirstplace."The
browneyessolikehermother'swereaccusing."Whyintheworlddidyouletherdrive,Dana?"

Danacouldn'tevenmanageareply.Shereachedblindlyforthebuzzerandpushedit.Aminutelater,a
nursecametothedoor.

"Willyoushowmyauntthewayout,please,Nurse?"Danaaskedtightly,notlookingatAuntHelen,
whowasobviouslyshocked.

.Thenurseknewwhatwasgoingonfromonelookatherpatient'sdrawnface.

"I'msorry,butMissSteelecan'tbeupset;shehasaconcussion,"thenursesaidfirmly."Willyoucome
withme,please?".

Asifshe'djustrealizedwhatshewassaying,Helen'sfacewassuddenlywhiteandrepentant."Darling,
I'msorry...."

But Dana closed her eyes and wouldn't look or listen. The nightmare wasn't ever going to end, it
seemed, and she wondered vaguely if everyone blamed her for her mother's death. She turned her
faceintothepillowsandcriedlikeachild.

Herministervisitedthatnight,afterthefuneralwasover,andDanapouredoutherhearttohim.

"Andit'smyfault;evenAuntHelensaidit'smyfault,"sheconfessed.

"It'snoone'sfault,Dana,"hesaid,smilingquietly.Agentleman,hemadeherfeelatoncecomforted
andsecure."Whenalifeistaken,it'sonlybecauseGodhasdecidedthatHehasmoreneedofthatlife
thanthoseattachedtoithereonearth.Peopledon'tdiefornoreason,Dana,orbecauseit'sanyone's
fault.Goddecidedthemomentofdeath,notanyoneofus."

"Buteveryonethinksit'smyfault.Ishouldhavestoppedher—Ishouldhavetried!"

"Andifyouhad,therewouldhavebeensomethingelse,"hesaidquietly."Istronglybelievethatthings
happenasGodmeansthemto."

"Ican'tseeanything,"sheconfessedwearily,"exceptthatmymotherisgone,andnowIhavenoone.
EvenAuntHelenhatesme."

"Yourauntwasliterallyintearsoverwhatshesaidtoyouthismorning,"hecorrected."Shewantedto
comebackandapologize,butshewasafraidyouwouldn'tletherintotheroom.Shewasupset;you
knowhowHelenis."

"WhatamIgoingtodo?"Danaaskedhim,dabbingatfreshtears.

"You're going to go on with your life," he said simply. "That life belongs to God, you know. Your
profession is one of service. Isn't that the best way to spend your grief, by lessening the pain for
others?"

She felt warm inside at the thought, because nursing was so much more to her than a profession. It
wasawayoflife:healingthesick,helpingtheinjured,comfortingthebereaved.Yes,shethought,and
smiled.Yes,thatwashowshe'dcope.

But it was easier said than done, unfortunately. In the days and weeks that followed, forgetting was
impossible.

Afterthefirstweek,timeseemedtofly.Danamadetheroundsonherward,pausingtoseeMissEna,
who was being difficult again. The thin old lady had demanded her injection a full hour early, but
Danaonlysmiledandfluffedupthepillowswithherusualefficiency.

"Now,MissEna,"shesaidwithaquietsmile,"youknowI'mnotgoingtoignoreDr.Sanders'sorder,

andyoushouldn'taskmeto.SupposeIhaveoneofthevolunteerscomeandreadtoyouuntilit'stime.
Wouldthathelp?"

Miss Ena's sour face brightened just a little. "Well, I suppose it would," she said reluctantly. She
shiftedherthinbodyagainstthepillowswithasigh."Yes,"shesaidinasoftertone."Thankyou,it
wouldhelp."

"Iknowhospitalsarehardonpeoplewhoareusedtogardeningandwalkingthewoodsandpruning
shrubbery,"

Danaconfessed,layingahandonthethinshoulder."Butinaverylittlewhile,you'llbebackonyour
feet and doing what you please. Just keep that in mind. Believe me, it will help the time pass much
morequickly."

Miss Ena smiled faintly. "I'm not used to being laid up," she confessed. "I don't mean to be
disagreeable.It'sonlythatIhatefeelinghelpless."

"I know," Dana said quietly. "No one likes it." She fluffed the pillows again. "How about some
televisionnow?

There's a special country music awards program on," she added, knowing the elderly woman's
fondnessforthatkindofmusic.

Theoldwoman'sfacebrightened."Thatwouldbenice,"shesaidafteraminute.

Danaflickedontheswitchandadjustedthechannel,hidingasmilefromMissEna.

SeveralweekslaterDanawascalledintoMrs.Pibbs'soffice,andDanaknewwithoutaskingwhatthe
reasonwas.

"I'dliketoforgetthis,Nurse,"shesaid,liftingtheletterofresignationthatDanahadplacedonher
deskearlythatmorningasshecameonduty."Nursinghasbeenyourlife.Surelyyoudon'tmeanto
throwawayallthoseyearsoftraining?"

Dana'seyesweretroubled."Ineedtime,"shesaidquietly."TunetogetoverMother'sdeath,timeto
sort out my priorities, to get myself back together again. I...I can't bear familiar surroundings right
now."

Mrs.Pibbsleanedbackwithasigh."Iunderstand."Shepursedherlipsandfrowned."Ifit'sachange
ofscenethatyouneed,Imayhaveasuggestionforyou.Afriendofmineislookingforaprivate-
dutynurseforherson.

HelivesinsomegodforsakenplaceneartheAtlanticCoast.He'sblind."

"Ihadn'tthoughtaboutdoingprivateduty,"Danamurmured.

"You will have to support yourself," Mrs. Pibbs reminded her. "Although the salary will be good, I
mustwarnyouthatitwon'tbealltranquility.IunderstandthatLorraine'ssonhasablacktemper.He
was an executive, you know, very high-powered, and an athlete to boot. He's been relegated to the
positionofafigureheadwithhiselectronicscompany."

"Theblindness,isitpermanent?"

"Idon'tknow.Lorraineisratherdesperate,however,"sheaddedwithatinysmile."He'snotaneasy
mantonurse."

Mrs.Pibbshadmadeitintoachallenge,andrightnowDananeededthat.

"Perhaps,"shemurmured,"itwouldbejustwhatIneed."

Mrs.Pibbsnoddedsmugly."ItmightbejustwhatGannonneedstoo."

Danalookedup,"Isthathisname?"

"Yes.GannonvanderVere.He'sDutch."

Immediately Dana pictured a small man with a mustache, very blond, as memory formed the one
Dutchmanshe'deverhadanycontactwith—Mr.vanRyker,who'doncebeenapatientatthehospital.
She smiled, softening already. Perhaps he could teach her Dutch while she helped him adjust to his
blindness.Andinhelpinghim,perhapsshecouldforgetherownanguish.

That night she was combing her long platinum-blond hair when Jenny came whirling in, hairpins
flyingassherushedtogetoutofhernurse'suniformandintoadress.

"Notgoingouttonight?"Jennyaskedfromthebathroom.

"Nowheretogo,''Danareplied,smilingintothemirror."I'mhavingaquietnight."

"Youalwayshavequietnights.Whydon'tyoucomeoutwithGeraldandme?"

"No,thanks,I'drathercatchuponmysleep.I'vebeencalledoutoncasestwiceinthepastthreedays.
Howdidthatlittlegirldo—theonewithpneumoniathatDr.Hamesadmitted?"

"She's responding. I think she'll do." Jenny came back out in a green-and-white-striped dress with
matchinggreenpumps."Say,what'stherumoraboutyouquitting?"sheasked.Jennyhadneverbeen
onetolistentogossipwithoutgoingtomeobjectofittogetatthetruth.Itwasthethingaboutherthat
Danaadmiredmost.

"It'strue,"shesaidreluctantly,becauseshelikedherroommateandwouldmissher."I'mwaitingto
hearaboutajobMrs.Pibbsknowsof,butIhaveofficiallyresignedasofnextMonday."

"Oh,Dana,"Jennymoaned.

"I'llwrite,"shepromised."Andsowillyou.Itwon'tbeforever."

"It's your mother's death, isn't it?" Jenny asked softly. "Yes, I imagine it's rough to be where you're
constantlyremindedofher.Andwiththesituationbetweenyouandyourfamily..."

Dana's eyes clouded. She turned away. "I'll be fine," she managed. "Have a good time tonight," she
addedonabrightnote.

Jennysighedasshepickedupherpurse."CanIsmuggleyousomethingwhenIcomein?Afiletmi-
gnon,asilkdressinggown,aRolls,aman...?"

Danalaughed."Howabouttwohours'extrasleeptoputinmypocketforwhenoldDr.Grimmscalls
medowntohelphimdressastabwoundandtellsmehisentiremedicalbackgroundbeforehesends
meaway?"

"I'llseewhatIcando,"Jennypromised."Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

ChapterTwo

Mrs.PibbswaswaitingforDanainherofficethenextmorningaftershe'dlistenedtothereportand
wasonherwaytocatchuponsomepaperwork.

"I'vejusttalkedtoLorraine,"Mrs.Pibbssaidwithafaintsmile."She'sdelightedthatyou'regoingto
come."

"I'msoglad,"Danareplied."HasshetoldMr.vanderVere?"

"Only that a nurse is expected, I understand," the older woman replied. "It's better not to give the
enemytoomuchinformationabouttroopmovements."

Dana blinked. That old Armyt nurse's background popped up every so often in Mrs. Pibbs, and she
triednottogigglewhenitdid.Surelythatwasastrangechoiceofwordsforanewpatient.Andwhata
verystrangewaytodescribeherimpendingarrivalatthevanderVerehome.

"Troopmovements?"sheasked.

"Justanexpression,"Mrs.Pibbssaiduncomfortably."Getonwithyourduties,Nurse."

Dana stared after her. A pity she didn't have time to think about that unusual description, but the
doctorswereduetomakeroundsshortlyandtherewasn'taminutetospare.

Theweekwentbyquickly,andbeforesheknewit,thestitcheswereoutofherfaceandshewasonher
way to Savannah by bus. She liked to travel cross country, preferring the sightseeing that way to
airplane flights, during which she could see little more than clouds. It was early spring and the
landscape was just beginning to turn green across the flat land, and she could still gaze at the
architectureineachsmalltownthebuswentthrough.Itwasoneofherhobbies,andshenevertiredof
it.

The styles ranged from Greek revival to Victorian to Gothic and even Williamsburg. There were
split-levels,ranch-stylehomes,modern,ultramodern,andapartmenthouses.Eachdesignseemedto
haveitsownpersonality,andDanacouldn'thelpbutwonderaboutthepeoplewholivedinthehouses
theypassed—whattheirliveswerelike.

Halfway across the state, she finally succumbed to drowsiness and fell asleep in her seat by the
window.ThedriverwasannouncingSavannahwhenshewokeup.

ShetookacabouttothevanderVeresummerhouse.ThedriverfollowedthedirectionsMrs.Pibbs
hadgivenDana,andDana'seyestookinthejaggedbouldersofanewdevelopmentalongthebeach
untiltheydrovefartherandturnedintoadrivewaylinedwithpalmsandshadetreesandwhatlooked
likefloweringshrubs;itwastheseasonforthemtobloom.

Thehousewasfairlylarge,builtofgraystoneandoverlookingtheAtlantic,soetherealthatitmight
havebeenanillusion.Danaloveditatfirstsight.'It'sbeautiful,shethought,withflowersbloomingall

arounditandthegreeneryprofuse.

She paid the driver and went up the cobblestone path to the door, pausing before she rang the
doorbell. Well, she told herself, it was now or never. Self-consciously she tugged a lock of her
loosenedhairoverhercheektohelpconcealthescar.Bangsalreadyhidtheoneonherforehead.But
theworstscarswerethoseinside,outofsight....

Thedooropenedandasmalldarkwomanwithgreeneyesstoodsmilingather.

"You'reDanaSteele?"sheaskedsoftly."Comein,do.I'mLorrainevanderVere;I'msogladtomeet
you.Wasitalongtrip—wereyoucomfortable?"sheaddedinarush,movingasidetoletthetaller
womaninside.

Dana compared her own gray suit with the woman's obviously expensive emerald pantsuit and felt
shabby by comparison. It was the best she had, of course, but hardly couture. If what Mrs. van der
Verewaswearingwasanyindication,thefamilywasquitewealthy.

"Ibroughtmyuniform,ofcourse,"Danasaidquickly."Idon'twantyoutothink..."

"Don'tbesilly,mydear,"Lorrainesaidkindly."Wouldyouliketogoupstairsandfreshenupbefore
I,uh,introduceyoutomyson?"

Dana was about to reply when there was a crash and a thud, followed by muffled words in a deep,
harshvoice.

Probablyaservanthaddroppedsomethinginthekitchen,Danathought,butMrs.vanderVerelooked
suddenlyuncomfortable.

"Here,I'llshowyoutoyourroom,"shesaidquickly,guidingDanatothestaircasewithitsmahogany
banisterandwoodwork."Comewithme,dear."

AsifI-hadanychoice,Danathoughtwithmuzzledamusement.Mrs.vanderVereactedasifshewere
runningfromwolves.

The room she was given was done in shades of beige and brown, with creamy curtains and a soft
quiltedcoverletina"chocolateandspice"pattern.Thecarpetwasthick,andDanawantedtokickoff
hershoesandwalkthroughitbarefoot.Shetookhertimegettingintoherspotless,starcheduniform.
She'dwantedtoputherhairup,tolookmoreprofessional,butshecouldn'tcopewiththepityinMrs.
vanderVere'seyesifthosescarswereallowedtoshow.Sheleftoffhermakeup—afterall,herpoor
patientcouldn'tseeheranyway—adjustedhercapandwentdownstairs.

Mrs.vanderVerecameoutofthelivingroom,handsoutstretched."My,don'tyoulookprofessional,"
shesaid.

"We'llhavetospendsometimetogether,mydear,onceyou'vegottenintotheroutineandadjustedto
Gannon."

She looked briefly uncomfortable and bit her dainty lower lip. "Dana, if I may call you Dana,
you...won't...thatis,you'reusedtodifficultpatients,aren'tyou?"sheaskedfinally.

Danasmiled."Yes,Mrs.vanderVere..."

"CallmeLorraine,dear.We'regoingtobeallies,youknow."

"Lorraine,"shecorrected."IwasafloornurseatAshtonGeneral,youknow.IthinkIcancopewith
Mr.vanderVere."

"Mostpeopledo,untilthey'vemethim"wastheworriedreply,accompaniedbyawansmile."Well"—
shestraightened—"shallwegetitoverwith?"

Danafollowedbehindher,halfpuzzled.SurelythelittleDutchmancouldn'tbethatmuchofahorror.
Shewonderedifhe'dhaveanaccent.Hismotherdidn'tseemto...

Lorraineknockedtentativelyatthedooroftheroomnexttothelivingroom.

"Gannon?"shecalledhesitantly.

"Well,comeinorgoaway!Doyouneedanengravedinvitation?''cameadeep,lightlyaccentedvoice
frombehindthehugemahoganydoor.

LorraineopenedthedoorandstoodasidetoletDanaentertheroomfirst.

"Here'syournewnurse,darling:MissDanaSteele.Dana,thisismystepson,Gannon."

Danabarelyheardher.Shewastryingtoadjusttothefactthatthesmall,mustachedDutchmanshehad
beentoldwastobeherpatientwasactuallythemanshesaw.infrontofher.

"Well?"thehugemanatthedeskaskedharshly,hisunseeinggrayeyesstaringstraightahead."Isshe
mute,Mother?Orjustweighingtheadvantagesofsilence?"

Danafoundhervoiceandmovedforward,herfoot-"stepsalertingthetallblondmantoherapproach.
Hestoodup,toweringoverher,hisshaggymaneofhairfallingroguishlyoverhisbroadforehead.

"Howdoyoudo,Mr.vanderVere?"Danaaskedwithmoreconfidencethanshefelt.

"I'm blind—how do you think I do, Miss Steele?" he demanded harshly, his deep voice cold and
cutting,hisunseeingwinteryeyesglaringather."Itripoverthefurniture,Iturnoverglasses,andI
hatebeingledaroundlikeachild!Didmystepmothertellyouthatyou'rethefifth?"headdedwitha
bitterlaugh.

"Fifthwhat?"sheasked,holdingontohernerve.

"Nurse,ofcourse,"herepliedimpatiently."I'vegonethroughthatmanyinamonth.Howlongdoyou
expecttolast?"

"AslongasIneedto,Mr.vanderVere,"sherepliedcalmly.

Hecockedhishead,asifstrainingtohearher."Notafraidofme.miss?"heprodded.

Sheshiftedhershoulders."Actually,sir,I'mquitefondofwildanimals,"shesaidwithastraightface,
whileLorrainegapedather.

A faint movement in the broad face caught her attention. "Are you presuming to call me a wild
animal?"heretorted.

"Oh,no,sir,"Danaassuredhim."Iwouldn'tflatteryouonsuchshortacquaintance."

Hethrewbackhisheadandlaughed."Nervy,aren'tyou?"hemurmured."You'llneedthatnerveifyou
stayherelong."Heturnedawayandfoundthecornerofthedesk,easinghimselfbackintohischair.

"Well, I'll leave you two to...get acquainted," Lorraine said, seizing her opportunity. She backed out
thedoorwithanapologeticsmileatDana,andcloseditbehindher.

"Wouldyouliketogetacquaintedwithme,MissNurse?"GannonvanderVereaskedarrogantly.

"Oh,definitelysir.Idoconsideritanadvantagetogettoknowtheenemy."

Hechuckled."Isthathowyouseeme?"

"That's obviously how you want to be seen," she told him. "You don't like being nursed, do you?
You'dmuchrathersitbehindthatgreatdeskandbroodaboutbeingblind."

The smile faded and his gray eyes glittered sightlessly toward the source of her voice. "I beg your
pardon?"

"Haveyoubeenoutofthishousesincetheaccident?"sheasked."Haveyoubotheredtolearnbraille,
ortowalkwithacane?Haveyouseenaboutgettingaseeing-eyedog?"

"Idon'tneedcrutches!"heshotback."I'maman,notachild.Iwon'tbefussedover!"

"Butyoumustseethattheonly"recourseyou'vegivenyourstepmotheristofindhelpforyou..."she
said,attemptingreason,"...ifyouwon'tevenmaketheefforttohelpyourself."

HeliftedhisnoseinwhatDanaimmediatelyrecognizedasthepreludetoanoutburstofpurevenom.

"PerhapsIwouldifIcouldbeleftalonelongenough,"herepliedinavoicesocolditdrippedicicles.
"I'vebeen

'helped'outofmymind.ThelastnursemystepmotherbroughtherehadtheaudacitytosuggestthatI
mightbenefitfromapsychiatrist.Sheleftinthemiddleofthenight."

"Icanseeyounow,flingingheroutthefrontstepsinherbedclothes,"Danaretorted,unperturbed.

"Impertinentlittlecreature,aren'tyou?"hegrowled.

"Ifyoutreatyouremployeesthisway,Mr.vanderVere,I'mamazedthatyoustillhaveany,"shesaid
calmly.

"Now,whatwouldyoulikefordinnerandI'llshowyouhowtostartfeedingyourself.Iassumeyou
don'tlikebeingspoon-fed...?"

Hemutteredsomethingharshandbangedhisfistdownonthedesk."I'mnothungry!"

"InthatcaseI'lltellthecooknottobotherpreparinganythingforyou,"shesaidcheerfully."When
youneedme,docall."

Shestartedoutthedoor,tryingnottohearwhathewassayingtoherback.

"Sticksandstones,Mr.vanderVere,"sheremindedhimsweetlyassheopenedthedoor.

He growled something in another language and followed it with a slam of something on the big
woodendesk.

Danasmiledsecretlyassheclosedthedoorbehindher.Challenge,wasthatwhathadbeensaidabout
thisjob?

Itwouldcertainlybethat,sheaffirmedsilently.

ChapterThree

Lorrainewaswaitingforherinthehall,wringingherhands.Hersmallfacewasheavilylinedwith
apprehension.

"Now, dear," she began nervously, "he's not at all as horrible as he seems, and I don't mind raising
yoursalary...!"

Dana laughed heartily. "Oh, that won't be necessary. You couldn't pay me to leave now. It would be
likeretreating,andagoodnurseneverretreatsunderfire."

Theolderwomanwasvisiblyrelieved."Oh"wasallshemanagedtosay.

"But I can certainly understand why my predecessors were in such a rush to get out the door," she
addedwithagrin."Hedoeshaveamagnificenttemper,doesn'the?"

Lorrainesighed."Yes,hedoes.Blindnessisn'teasyforamanlikemystepson,youknow.Heis—was
—soathletic.Heespeciallylikedwater-skiingandsnowskiingandaerobaticsinhisplane...."

Theotherwomanwaspaintingapictureofamanwhohadenjoyedarecklesslife-style,asifhehadn't
consideredlifepreciousenoughtosafe-guard.

Shefrowned."Dangeroussports."

"Very obviously," Lorraine said quietly. "He's been that way since his wife died in the automobile
wreck.Hewasdriving,yousee.Itwasmanyyearsago,buthe'sneverbeentheGannonhewaswhenI
marriedhisfather."

"Howoldwashewhenyoumarried?"sheaskedquietly,sensingakindredspirit.

"Hewasten."Shesighed,smiling."Hismotherdiedwhenhewasborn,andhisfatherwenttohisown
gravelovingher.1wasasubstitute.Hecaredforme,"shesaidquickly."Butnotinthesamewayhe
caredforGannon'smother."Sheturnedaway,asifherownmemorieswerepainful."Isyourroomall
right,mydear?"

"It'slovely.I'llenjoyitverymuchwhileI'mhere.Mrs.vanderVere,exactlywhatistheproblemwith
yourstepson'seyes?Mrs.Pibbswasrathervague,andI'dliketoknow."

"That'stheproblem,"Lorrainesaidassheledthewayintohersmallsittingroomandtookachair
overlookingtherockycoastline."Thereisnomedicalreasonforhisblindness.Theycallit—what's
thatword?—idiopathic.

Gannon's doctor said that it could very well be hysterical blindness, brought about by the sudden
shockofexpectingtobestabbedintheeyesbythoseraggedwoodenbeamsattheshore.Thewoman
whowasdrivingthespeedboatlostcontrol,"sheexplained."Gannonwasslungtowardadockwith
splinteredboards.Howitmissedhiseyeswastrulyamiracle,buthedidn'texpectittomiss,yousee.

Hewastwistedandhisheadsmashedintothedock.Whenhecametointhehospital,hewasblind."

"Andhedoesn'tliketheideaofadmittingthatitcouldbehystericalparalysisoftheopticnerve,"Dana
concluded,pursingherlips."That'squiteunderstandable,ofcourse.Wasthereanyemotionaltrauma
inhislifeataboutthesametime?"

"NotthatIknowof,"thesmallerwomancommented."Ofcourse,Gannonisaveryprivateperson.

Dananodded."Doeshegooutatall?"

"Socially, you mean? No," she said sadly. "He stays in the living room and harasses his vice-
presidentsoverthephone."

"Hisvice-presidents?"

"Attheelectronicsfirmheowns,mydear.Theymanufactureallsortsofcommunicationsequipment
—

interfaces for computers, buffers, monitors, that kind of thing." She shrugged and smiled
apologetically. "I don't pretend to understand; it's far too technical for me. But the company's
introducedsomerevolutionarynewsystemcomponents,andapparentlymystepsonissomethingof
anelectronicsgenius.I'mveryproudofhim.

ButIhavetoadmit,Ihavenoideaexactlywhathedoes."

"I don't know anything about computers," Dana murmured. She smiled secretly. "But if I asked, he
mightbetemptedtoeducateme.Itmightevenbreaktheice."

"Becarefulthatyoudon'tfallin,"Lorrainecautioned."Gannondoesn'tparticularlylikewomenright
now. He was almost engaged when the accident happened. The woman walked out on him." She
grimaced."Perhapssomeofthatwasguilt.Shewasdrivingthespeedboat,yousee."

Dana pondered that for the rest of the day. Poor lonely man; His life hadn't been any picnic so far,
either.Shesmiled,justthinkingaboutthechallengeGannonwasgoingtopresent.

Afterlettinghimsimmerallday,DanatookGannon'sdinnertrayinherself.

Hewassittinginadeeparmchairbytheopenwindowthatledontothebalcony.Outside,thewaves
werecrashingslowlyagainsttheshore.

Heliftedhisshaggyblondheadwhenheheardthedooropenandclose."Mother?"hecalledshortly.

"Hardly," Dana replied. She put the tray on the big desk, watching him stiffen at the sound of her
voice.

"Youagain?Ithoughtyou'dgonehome,Nurse."

"Andleaveyouallalone,Mr.vanderVere?"sheexclaimed."Howcowardly!"

Heliftedhischinaggressively."Idon'tneedanothernurse.Idon'twantanothernurse.Ijustwanttobe
leftalone."

"Loneliness—takeitfromme—isbadforthesoul,"shesaidmatter-of-factly."Itshrivelsituplikea
prune.Whydon'tyouwalkalongthebeachandlistentothewavesandtheseagulls?Areyouafraid
ofseagulls,Mr.vanderVere?Doyouhaveafeatherphobiaorsomething?"

Hewastryingnottolaugh,buthelost.Itrolledoutofhimlikedeepthunder,buthequicklystifledit.

"ImpertinentMissSteele,"hemuttered."Yournamesuitsyou.Areyoucoldandhard?"

"Puremarshmallow,"shecorrected,removingthelidsfromthedinnerware."Justtakeawhiffofthis
deliciousfood.Steakandmashedpotatoesandgravy,homemaderollsandbutteredasparagus."

"Allmyfavorites,"hemurmured."Whatdid.youdo,bribeMrs.Wellstofixit?Shehatesthesmellof
asparagus."

"Soshetoldme,"shesaidwithasmile."Butitwashernightoff.Icookedit."

"Youcook?"heaskedcurtly.

"Iusedtolivealone.I'dstarvetodeathifIdidn't.Now,ifyoucan'tmanagebyyourself,I'llbegladto
spoon-feedyou...."

Hesaidsomethingunpleasant,buthegottohisfeetandstumbledtowardthedesk.

Shewalkedarounditandcaughthishand.Hetriedtofreehimselfbutsheheldfirm,determinednot
tolethimdominateher.

"I'm offering to help you," she said quietly, staring up at his scowling face. "That's all. One human
being to another. I'd do the same for man, woman, or child, and I think you would for me if our
situationswerereversed."

Helookedshockedforaminute,buthestoppedstruggling.Heletherguidehimtohischairbehind
thedesk.

Butbeforehesatdown,hisbighandscaughtherthinshouldersforaminuteandmovedupwardto
her neck and her face and hair. He nodded then and let go of her to drop into the big chair, which
barelycontainedhim.

"Ithoughtyou'dbesmall,"hesaidafteraminute,gropingforthecupofhotblackcoffeeshe'dplaced
withinhisreach.

"Infact, I'm aboveaverage height," shereturned. The feel ofhis warm, stronghands had made her
feelodd,andshewasn'tsureshelikedit.

"Comparedtome,miss,you'resmall,"hesaidfirmly."Whatcolorisyourhair,youreyes?"

"Ihaveblondhair,"shesaid."Andbrowneyes."

"An unusual combination." He picked up his fork and managed to turn over the coffee with one
suddenmovement.AtorrentofwordspouredOutofhim.

"Stop that," Dana said sharply. "I'll walk right out the door if you continue to use such language
aroundme."

"Imustremembertosearchmymindforbetterwordsifitwillgetyououtofmyhair,"hesaidwith
maliciousenjoyment."Areyousuchaprude,littleNurse?"

"No, sir, I am not," she assured him. "But I was always told that a repertoire of rude language
disguisedapitifullackofvocabulary.AndIbelieveit."

Heappearedtobetakenabackbythecomment."I'maman,MissSteele,notamonk.Theoccasional
worddoesslipout."

"I've never understood why men consider it a mark of masculinity to use shocking language," she
replied."Idon'tconsideritso.Notthat,norgettingdrunk,nordrivingrecklessly...."

"Youshouldhavejoinedanunnery,miss,"heobserved."Becauseyouareobviouslynotpreparedto
functionintherealworld."

"Ifindtherealworldincrediblybrutal,Mr.vanderVere,"shesaidquietly."Peopleslaughteringother
people, abusing little children, finding new ways to kill, making heroes of villains, using
sensationalism as a substitute for good drama in motion pictures.... Am I boring you? I don't find
crueltyintheleastpleasurable.Ifthatmakesmeunrealistic,thenIsupposethatIamone."

"It amazes me that you can stand the company of poor weak mortals, Nurse, when you are so
obviouslysuperiortotherestofus,"hesaid,leaningbackinhischair.

Shefelttheshockgoallthewaytohertoes."Superior?"sheechoed.

"Youdofeelsuperior?"hemocked."Haveyounevermadeamistake,Iwonder?Haveyouneverbeen
temptedbyloveordesire,greedorambition?"

Sheflushedwildlyandfinishedmoppingupthecoffee."I'mhardlyabeautycontestcandidate,"she
saidcurtly.

"AndevenifIwere,menfranklydon'tinterestmeatall."

Heraisedacuriouseyebrow."Venom.fromthelittlenun?Someonehashurtyoubadly."

"I'mnotheretobementallydissected,"shesaid,regainingherlostcomposure."I'llgetyouanother
cupofcoffee."

"AndIthoughtyoudidn'trunfromtheenemy,"hemusedasshelefthim.

Butshedidn'tanswer.Shecouldn't.

ThenewenvironmentandsparringwithherpatienthadkeptDana'smindoccupiedduringtheday,but
thenightbroughtmemories.Andthememoriesbroughtagnawingache.Itwashardtobelievethat
Mandywasgone.

SweetlittleMandy,whocouldbemaddeningandendearingallatonce.

Shesatbythedarkenedwindowofherroomandstaredblanklydowntowherethewhitecapswere
visible even at night. Why did people have to die? she asked silently. Why did it all have to end so
suddenly?Allherlifehermotherhadbeentherewhensheneededsomeonetotalkto,toconfidein,to
beadvisedby.

Thedivorcehadbeennosurprisewhenitcame.Theonlyunexpectedthingwasthatithadtakenso
manyyearsforherparentstoadmitthatthemarriagewasafailure.Dana'searliestmemorieswereof
arguments that seemed to last for days, interspersed with frozen silences. Fortunately she had had
grandparents who kept her each summer, and their small farm became a refuge for the young girl
who felt neither wanted nor loved by her parents. Even now, with her mother dead, nothing had
changed between Dana and her father. She sighed bitterly. Perhaps it would have been different if
she'dbeenthesonherfatherreallywanted.Orperhapsitwouldn'thavebeen.

Shegotupanddressedforbed.Onethingwasforcertain,shethoughtastearswelledupinhereyes
and spilled over: She was an orphan now. She might as well give them both up, because it was
perfectly obvious that her father had no place for her in his life anymore. Her father's remarriage
hadn'tbeensuchatrauma,becausetheyhardlycommunicatedinthefirstplace.Buttolosehermother
sosoonafterward,withtheshockofMandy'sconfessionthatshewasgoingtoenditallbecauseof
herhusband'sremarriage,wasmorethanshecouldbear.

Therehadbeennotimetoadjusttoeitherchangeinherlife.Notimeatall.

Sheputoutthelightandcrawledbetweenthecovers.Oh,Mandy.Sheweptsilently.Mandy,whydid
youhavetogoandleavemealone?NowIhavenoone!

Tearssoakedthepillow.Sheweptforthemothershedidn'thaveanymore;forthefathershe'dnever
had.Forthefuture,allbleakandpainfulandempty.Buttherewasnoonetoholdherwhileshecried.

ThenextmorningGannonwassittingonthebalconywhenshecarriedinhisbreakfast.Thewindwas
rufflinghisblondhair,liftingit,teasingit,andshewonderedsuddenlyhowmanywomenhaddone
that.Hehadwonderfulhair,thickandpaleandslightlywavy.

"Breakfast," she called cheerfully, placing the tray on the table beside his chair at the edge of the
balcony.Theoutdoorfurniturewaswhitewroughtiron,anditfittheisolationandtherusticcharmof
theplace.

Gannonhalfturned,andhispalegrayeyesstaredblanklytowardher.Hisshirt,wornwithtanslacks,
hadinitsmulticoloredpatternashadeofgraythatexactlymatchedhispaleeyes.

"Must you sound so disgustingly cheerful?" he asked curtly, scowling, "It's just past dawn, I haven't
hadmycoffeeandrightnowIhatethewholeworld."

"Andacupofcoffeewillhelpyouloveit?"Shelaughedsoftly."My,my,you'reeasytoplease."

"Don't get cute, Joan of Arc," he returned harshly. He propped his long legs on another chair and
sighedheavily.

"Putsomecreamandsugarinthatcoffee.And.howaboutasweetroll?'

"Howaboutthat,"shemurmured,castinganamusedglanceathisdarkface."Ibroughtyoubaconand
eggs.

Morecivilized.Moreprotein."

"Iwantasweetroll."

"IwantahouseontheRivieraandaLabradorretrievernamedJohnston,butwedon'talwaysgetwhat
wewant,dowe?"sheasked,andplacedtheplateinfrontofhim,rattlingtheutensilsagainstitloudly.

Hischiseledlipspursedangrily."Who'sthebosshere,honey,youorme?"

"I am, of course, and don't call me honey. Would you like me to direct you around the plate?" she
askedpolitely.

"Goahead.Iwon'tpromisetolisten,"headdeddarkly.Heleanedforward,easingtowardthecoffee
cup,andpickeditupwhileshetoldhimwhatwaslocatedwhereonhisplate.

"Whycan'tIcallyouhoney?"heaskedwhenshestartedtogobackintothehouse.

Shestopped,staringdownathim."Well,becauseitisn'tprofessional,"shesaidfinally.

Helaughedmirthlessly."No,itisn't.Butifyou'reblond,Iimagineyourhairlookslikehoney,doesn't
it?Orisitpale?"

"It'squitepale,"shesaidinvoluntarily.

"Long?"

"Yes,butIkeepitputup."

"Afraidsomemanmightmistakeloosenedhairforloosenedmorals,Joan?"hemocked.

"Don'tmakefunofmorality,ifyouplease,"shesaidstarchily."Someofusareold-fashionedenough
totakeoffense."

Withthatshemarchedbackintothehouse,whilehemadeasoundlikemuffledlaughter.

Thatafternoonhetoldherhewantedtowalkalongthebeach,apronouncementsoprofoundthathis
stepmothercaughtherbreathwhensheoverheardit.Danaonlygrinnedasshetookhisarmtolead
himdownthestepstothewater.Shewasjustbeginningtoenjoythisjob.

"Whatchangedyourmind?"sheaskedassheguidedhimalongthebeachbyhissleeve.

"IdecidedthatImightaswelltakeadvantageofyourexpertisebeforeyoudesertme,"hesaid.

Sheglancedupathimcuriously."WhywouldIdesertyou?"

"I might not give you the choice." He stuck his free hand in his pocket and the muscles in his arm
clenched.

"I'mnotaneasyman.Idon'ttaketoblindness,andmytemperisn'tgoodatitsbest."

"Howlonghaveyouhadthisproblem?"sheasked,doingherimpressionofaViennesepsychiatrist.

Hechuckledatthemockaccent."Mytemperisn'tmyproblem.It'stheway.peoplereacttoit.".

"Oh,youmeanthoseembarrassingthingstheydo,likedivingunderheavyfurnitureandrunningfor
thehillswhenyouwalkthroughthedoor?"

"Such a sweet voice to be so sarcastic," he chided. His hand suddenly slid down and caught hers,
holdingitevenwhensheinstinctivelyjerkedback."No,no,Nurse;you'resupposetobeguidingme,
aren'tyou?Softlittlehand,andstrongforonesosmall."

"Yoursisenormous,"shereplied.Thefeelofthosestrong,warmfingerswasdoingsomethingoddto
herbreathing,toherbalance.Shewantedtopullfree,buthewasstrong.

"AlegacyfrommyDutchfather,"hetoldher."Hewasabigman."

"Youaren'texactlyadwarfyourself,"shemused.

Hechuckledsoftlyatthatcomment."Istandsixfoot•threeinmysocks."

"Didyoueverplaybasketball?"sheaskedconversationally.

"No. I hated it. 1 didn't care for group sports so much, you see. I liked to ski, and I liked fast cars.
Racing.IwenttoEuropeeveryyearfortheGrandPrix.Untilthisyear,"headdedcoldly."Iwillnever
goagain,now."

"Youhavetostopthinkingofyourblindnessaspermanent,"shesaidquietly.

"Hasmymotherhandedyouthatfairytale,too,abouttheblindnessbeinghysterical?"hedemanded.

Hestoppedtofaceher,hishandsmovinguptofindherupperarms."DoIseemtoyoutobeproneto
hysterics,Nurse?''

"It has nothing to do with that, Mr. van der Vere, as I'm sure your doctor explained to you. It was
simplyagreatshocktotheopticnerve...."

"Iamblind,"hesaid,eachwordcuttinganddeliberate."Thatisnothysteria;itisafact.Iamblind!"

"Yes, temporarily." She stood passively in his bruising grasp, watching his scowling face intently,
determinednottoshowfear.Shesensedthathemightlikethat,makingherafraid."Itisn'tunheardof
forthebraintoplaytricksonus,youknow.Yousawthesplinterscomingstraightforyoureyes,and
youwereknockedunconscious.It'spossiblethatyour..."

"It is not possible," he said curtly, and his grip increased until she gasped. "The blindness occurred
because I hit my head. The doctors simply have not found the problem. They invent this hysterical
paralysistosparetheirownegos!"

Itwasn'tpossibletoreasonwithabrickwall,shetoldherself."Mr.vanderVere,you'rehurtingme,"
shesaidquietly.

All at once, his hands relaxed, although they still held her. He smoothed the soft flesh of her arms
through the thin sleeves of her white uniform. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that Do you bruise
easily,MissSteele,despiteyourmetallicname?''

"Yes,sir,Ido,"sheadmitted.Hewasstandingquiteclose,andthewarmthofhisbodyanditsclean
scentweremakingherfeelweakintheknees.Shewaslookingstraightupathim,andshelikedthe
strengthofhisface,withitsformidablenoseandjuttingbrowandglitteringgrayeyes.

For just an instant his hands smoothed slowly, sensuously, up and down her arms. His breath
quickened."Howoldareyou?"heaskedsuddenly.

"I'mtwenty-four,"shesaidbreathlessly.

"DoyouknowhowoldIam?"heasked.

Sheshookherheadbeforesherealizedthathecouldn'tseethemotion."No."

"I'mthirty-seven.Nearlythirteenyearsyoursenior."

"Don'tletthatworryyou,sir;I'vehadgeriatricstraining,"shemanagedtosaypertly.

The hard lines in his face relaxed. He smiled, genuinely, for the first time since she'd been around
him.Itchangedhiswholeface,andshebegantorealizethekindofcharmsuchamanmightbeable
toaffect.

"Haveyou,SaintJoan?"hemurmured.Hechuckled."Haveyoueverbeenmarried?'

"No,sir,"shesaid,awareoftheprimnessofherownsoftvoice.

Hisheadtiltedupandaneyebrowarched."Noopportunities?"hemurmured.

She flushed. "As you accused me, Mr. van der Vere, I'm rather prudish in my outlook. I don't feel
superior,Ijustdon'tbelieveinshallowrelationships.Thatisn'tapopularviewpointthesedays."

"Inotherwordsyousaidnoandthewordgotaround,isthatwhatyoumean,miss?"heaskedquietly.

Itwassonearthetruththatshegapedupathim."Well,yes,"sheblurtedout.

Heonlynodded."Virtueisalonelycompanion,isitnot?"hemurmured.Heletgoofherarms,and
beforesherealizedwhathewasdoing,heframedherfacewithhisbig,warmhands."Iwanttoknow
theshapeofyourface.Don'tpanic,"hesaid.

But she didn't want him to feel that long, ugly scar down her cheek, and she drew away as if he'd
struckhersharply.

Hisfacehardened."Isitsointimate,thetouchofhandsonaface?"heaskedcurtly."Pardonme,then,
ifIoffendyou."

"I'm not offended," she said stiffly, standing apart from him on legs that threatened to buckle. His
touchhadaffectedherinanoddway,"Ijustdon'tlikebeingtouched,Mr.vanderVere."

Hisheavybrowsarchedup."Indeed?MayIsuggest,miss,thatyouhavemoreinhibitionsthanwould
beconsiderednormalforawomanofyouryears?"

Shestiffenedevenmore."MayIsuggestthatI'dratherhavemyinhibitionsthanyourilltemper?"

Hemadearoughsoundandturnedaway."Atanyrateyouflatteryourselfifyouthinktherewasmore
thancuriosityinthatappraisal.IcanhardlylosemyheadoverafigureIcan'tevensee."

Theflatstatementcruellyremindedthemofhisblindness.Shefeltangrywithherselffordenyinghim
theshapeofherface,butshehadn'twantedhimtofeelthescar.Ithadmadeherlessthanperfectand
muchmoresensitivethanusualtoherlackoflooks.

Hestartedalongthebeach,faltering."Areyoucoming,Nurse,orwouldyouliketoseemefallflat
onmyfaceinthesurf?"heaskedsharply.

"Don'ttrytomakemefeelguilty,Mr.vanderVere,"shesaid,takinghisarm."Iwon'tapologizefor
beingmyself."

"DidIaskyouto?"Hesighedheavily."Ihatebeingblind."

"Yes,Iknow.""Doyou?"Hisvoicewasharshwithsarcasm."Butthen,youthinkI'mhavinghysterics,
don'tyou,Nurse,sowhythesympathyinyourvoice?"

"Youwon'ttrytounderstandwhatthetermmeans,willyou?"sheshotback."Wouldyouratherenjoy
yourtemporaryaffliction,Mr.vanderVere?Doesitpleaseyoutohurtotherpeopleoutofyourown
refusaltohelpyourself?"

Heseemedtogrowtaller,andhisfacebecamerigid,likestone."Ifyouwereaman..."hebeganhotly.

"IfIwereaman,I'dbeanarchaeologist,"shesaidpleasantly,"outdiggingupoldbones.Iwouldn'tbe
anurse,soIwouldn'tbehere,andyou'dhavenoonetoyellatthen,wouldyou?"

Hesaidaroughwordunderhisbreathandhischiseledlipsmadeathinline.Athissideshispowerful
handsclenchedconvulsively.

"Wouldyouliketogoswimmingwithme,MissSteele?"hesaidafteraminute.

"No, sir, I would not. And shame on you for what you're thinking. The shark would only get
indigestion."

Heseemedtobemufflingalaugh,buthecouldn'tstopthesoundfromhisthroat.Itwasadelightful
sound,fullofrichhumorandloveoflife.ItwaslikemusictoDana'sears.

"Leadmehome,ifyouplease,"hechuckled,"Theseaistootempting,Iconfess."

"It's for your own good that I prod you, sir," she said as they walked along the beach. "Self-pity is
self-defeating,youknow."

"Was I feeling sorry for myself?" he mused. He stumbled, cursed and pulled himself erect. "Stop
leadingmeintorocks."

"Thatwasapieceofdriftwood,andifyou'dpickupyourfeetinsteadofshufflingalong,disturbing
sandcrabs,youwouldn'ttrip,"shereturnedwithagrin."Witch,"heaccused.

"No wonder you wanted to get me in the water," she mumbled. "You wanted to find out if I'd float,
right?"

Heshookhishead."IthinkI'vemetmymatch,"hemurmured."Tellmesomething,miss.Ifyouand
the doctors are wrong, and the blindness is not hysterical, what then? Do you move in to lead me
aroundfortherestofmylife?"

Shewas convinced thatthe doctors wouldn'thave made such amistake, not withthe battery of tests
thathadbeendone.Butshewaswearyofarguingthepoint.

"Ifthey'rewrong,"shesaid,stressingthefirstword,"thenyoulearntolivewithit.Therearefantastic
developments in computer science that deal with blindness—as I'm sure you know from your
involvementinthatfield."

"Yes,Iknow,"hesaidquietly."Infact,oneofmyengineersdevelopedabraillesystemthatallowsthe

blindaccesstootherblindpeoplethroughtheircomputers."

"Yousee?Itisn'tacloseddooryou'refacing.Andwillyouconsideroneotherthing?"

"What?"

"ThatGodgivesusobstaclesforreasons?"

"God,"hesaid,"didnotmakemeblind.Ididthatallbymyself,sowhyshouldIexpectHimtohelp
me?"

"Whyshouldn'tyou?"shecountered."Isuspectyou'renotareligiousman."

"Yoususpectcorrectly."

"Whatareyoudoingaboutit?"sheasked."Whatdoyoudotojustifyyourexistence?"

"Iworkformyself,"hesaidgruffly.

"Andforfinancialgain."

"Ofcourse.Whatotherreasonisthere?"hegrumbled."Iamnotaphilanthropist."

"Obviously,"

Heshiftedrestlessly.“Don'ttrytotossamantleofguiltoverme,Igivetocharity."

"Whatdoyougiveofyourself?"

Hestoppeddead."Ibegyourpardon?"

"Whatdoyougiveofyourself?Moneyisvulgar."

"So speaks one without it," he returned coldly. "It never ceases to amaze me that the people who
complainthemostaboutthewaywealthisdistributedareusuallytheverypeoplewholackit."

"Touche,"sheagreedpleasantly,lookingupathiswindblownhair,hishardface."I'vebeenpoormost
ofmylife,Mr.vanderVere.I'dliketohaveanexpensivedressonceinawhile,andIhaveadeeplove
forluxuriousperfume.ButI'velivedverywellwithoutthosethings.ThedifferenceisthatIlivealife
ofserviceforGod.Mypleasurecomesfromthegivingofmyself."

Helookeduncomfortable."Thenwhydidyougiveituptocomehere?"heaskedsuspiciously."I'm
sure you're getting paid much more here than you make working in your hospital,'' he added
sarcastically.

Sheglancedawayfromhim,flushing."That'strue.Butthemoneywasn'tthereasonIcame."

"Then,whatwas?"

Shestraightened."Personalreasons,Mr.vanderVere,thathavenothingtodowithyou.Shallwego?"

"Refusing the challenge?" he prodded. "Very well, lead me back into the house. I wouldn't want the
windtodislodgeyourhalo."

Shewantednothingmoreatthatmomentthantoshakehim.Butthatwouldn'taccomplishanything.At
leastshe'dnudgedhimoutofhisself-pity,aminorvictory.Perhapstherewouldbeothers.

Shewalkedalongsidehim,feelingoddlyelated.Shewantedtotakethepinsoutofherlonghairand
let it blow free. She wanted to take off her sensible white nurse's shoes and run barefoot along the
dampbeach,likeachildenjoyingnature'sbeauty.Hereyesliftedtothesombermanatherside.She
wasbeginningtoseeapurposeinherpresencethere;itwentmuchdeeperthanthenursingofablind
man.

ChapterFour

Thenextweeksweretrying.GannonvanderVereseemedtogooutofhiswaytofindfaultwithDana.
Nothing she did pleased him, and all the ground she seemed to have gained in the first few days
abruptlyslidbackintothesea.

Hesatbehindhisdeskandstayedonthephonealmostconstantly.Herefusedtogooutoftheroom
excepttosleep.Hewasirritableandunapproachable,andwhenDanatriedtotalktohim,hefoundan
excusenottolisten.

Thedoctor'svisitonlyirritatedhimfurther,andafterhisexaminationheretreatedintohisbedroom
andwouldn'tevencomeouttoeat.

"Dr. Shane just restated his own opinion to Gannon." Lorraine sighed wearily as she and Dana sat
downtosupperbythemselves."Itmadehimfurious,ofcourse.Hewon'tacceptthattheconditionisn't
duetosomethingsurgicallycorrectible."

"He'sastubbornman,"Danacommented.

"Worsethanstubborn.Justlikehislatefather."Shesmiled."Hewasquiteaman,myhusband.Alittle
mellowerthanGannon,butofcoursehewasolder."

"Perhapshe'llcometoadmititeventually,"Danasuggested."Inthemeanwhile,havingpeoplearound
wouldhelphimtremendously.Doesn'thehavefriends?"

"He had plenty of them, when he could see," his stepmother said angrily. "And girl friends by the
score. People who loved for him to spend money on them. Now..." She shrugged her delicate
shoulders."Thisplaceisliketheendoftheearthforthatkindofperson,Dana.Theydon'tlikepeace
andsolitude.Theylikebrightlightsandactivityand,frankly,drugsandalcohol."

"Didhe?"sheasked,becauseshewantedtoknow.

"Gannon?''shelaughed."No,hewasneverthetypetoneedcrutchesofanykind.Hislatewifewasthe
party-goer.Ofcourse,Idon'tthinksheindulged.Butalltheirfriendsdo."

"Nochildren?"

"Theydidn'twantchildren,"Lorrainesaidwithasigh."Theirlivesweresofull,yousee."

Full.Danadoubtedthat,somehow,butshewastoopolitetostateherconvictions.Shewasgettinga
vividpictureofGannon'slifebeforetheblindness,anditwasanunpleasantone.Shefeltsorrierfor
himthanever.

Danaespeciallylovedthebeachatnight,andwhenshecouldsneakawayforafewminutes,sheliked
towalkalongtheshoreandwatchthewhitecapsrollagainstthedampsand.Lorraineneverminded
herbriefabsences,butwhenGannondiscoveredwhatshewasdoing,hemadeapointofseekingher

outoneFridayeveningonthebeach.

"Nurse!"hebellowed,pausingonthelaststepthatleddownfromthehouse,hishandclenchedonthe
railing.

Sherushedbacktowardhim,herloosenedhairflying,afraidhe'dtumbledowninhisanger.

"I'mhere,"shesaidbreathlessly."There'snoneedtoyell."

"MayIaskwhatyou'redoingdownhere?"hegrumbled,staringinhergeneraldirection.

Shestudiedhisferociousscowlwhilehishairandhersoftgreendressblewwildlyinthecoolocean
breeze.

"I'mwalkingonthebeach,Mr.vanderVere,"shesaidcalmly.

"Onmytime,"heagreed.

"Excuseme,sir,IthoughtIhadtenminutesadaytomyself,"shesaidwithpolitesarcasm.

"Alive-innurseissupposedtobewithincalleveryminute,"hesnapped.

"Iwas,"shepointedout."Didn'tIcomerunning?"

Hedrewinasharpbreath."Thebeachisdangerousatnight,"hesaidafteraminute,asifitannoyed
himthathe'dhadtoshowanyconcernforher."Therearetransientsdownthebeachwholiketoparty.
You'renotsophisticatedenoughtocopewithdrunkenmen,MissSteele.Willyoucomeinthehouse,
please."

Theconcerntouchedher.OnlyhermotherandJennyhadevershownanyforherovertheyears.

"Lostyourtongue?"hegrowledafteraminute.Sheshrugged."I'mnotusedtopeopleworryingabout
me,"shesaidfinally.

Heseemedtohesitate,hishandcurlingslowlyaroundthebanister."Yourparentsdo,surely?"

Thequestioncutinanewway.Sheavertedhergazetotheseaandtriednottocry;tearsweresoclose
to the surface these days, the grief was so raw and unfamiliar. "My mother died in a wreck a few
monthsago,”shesaidsoftly.

"I'msorry,"hesaidquietly."Yourfather?"

"Wehaveverylittlecontact,"sheadmitted."It'smyfaultasmuchashis.I'mnotgoodatrelationships,
yousee.

I'mwaryoflettingpeoplegetclose."

"Evenfamily?"heburstout"MyGod,areyoufearfulofcontamination?"

Hemadehersoundodd,andshedidn'tlikeit"Fearfulofbeinghurt,ifyoumustknow,"sheshotback,
her eyes blazing. "I'd rather be alone than cut to ribbons emotionally, and what business is my
personallifetoyou?"

His heavy blond brows shot straight up. "Claws," he murmured, and a corner of his mouth curved.
"Well,well,youlandonyourfeet,don'tyou,forallyourrepressedvirtue."

Shestaredatthesand."Youirritateme,"shebitoff.

"We'reeven,becauseyouirritatemeaswell.Now,willyoucomein,beforeIyieldtotemptationand
tossyouintothesurftocoolyouoff?"

Shedrewinanangrybreathandstartedpasthim,buthishandshotoutatthesoundofherstepsonthe
stoneandshewasdraggedagainsthispowerfulbody.

Hertinygaspwasaudibleevenabovethethunderoussurf,andshewasawareofeverycellthatcame
incontact with him.He smelled ofexpensive cologne and soap,and the handaround her waist was
bigandverywarm.Hisbreathwasonherforehead,hischestwasrisingandfallingwithacurious
heavinessandherkneesthreatenedtocollapse.

Hefeltherhairblowagainsthisfaceasitbent,andhebrushedatlong,silkystrandsofitwithhisfree
hand.

"Suchsofthair,"heremarkedquietly."Blond?"

Sheswallowed."Yes,sir."Whywashervoicequaveringlikethat?Whatwashappeningtoher?

Hishandbrushedhershoulderandmoveddownherbacktohershoulderblades.Hedrewherclose
withachingtendernessuntilhercheekwaspressedagainsthiswarm,broadchestoverhissilkyblue
shirt.

Shecouldfeelthestrengthofhimunderherhand,thehardbeatofhisheart.Ithadbeenalongtime
sinceanymanhadheldher,butneverhaditmadeherfeellikethis.Shewasvulnerableallatonce,
womanly,feminineinatotallynewway.

"Yousmellofwildflowers,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepandquietinthesemidarkness."Andyourthinness
frightensme.Youaren'thardy;you'reveryfragile."

Shetriedtobreathenormally."I'mnotfragile,"sheprotestedweakly.Herhandspressedpalmdown
overthewarmmusclesofhischest,halfinprotest."Mr.vanderVere..."

"Isn'titethical,littlemoralist?"hemused."Ithoughtcomfortwasyourstock-in-trade."

"Comfort?"

His cheek nuzzled against hers. "I've been alone a long time," he said in a low whisper. "Without

touching,orbeingtouched.Sometimesjustthescentofawomanisenoughtodrivemehalfmad...."

Shejerkedawayfromhimallatonce,frightenedofthesensualityshecouldhearinhisvoice,feelin
hiswarmhandsonherback.Sheputherselfasafedistanceawayandtriedtostopshaking.

"It'sgettingcoldouthere,"shemurmured.

"Icecold,"hesaidharshly."LittleNun,whydon'tyoujoinaconvent?"

"I'mnotonofferasawoman,Mr.vanderVere!"sheburstout,furiousathiscasualapproach."I'ma
nurse;it'smyjob,it'swhyI'mhere!Ifyou'rethinkingofaddinganythingpersonaltomyduties,you'd
betterstartrunningadsfast:Iquit!"

"Wait!"

She froze a step above him, listening as he felt for the banister and started up the steps behind her,
stoppingwhenhefeltherbodywasjustaheadofhim.

"Allright,I'msorry,"hesaidshortly."Ionlymeanttotease,nottorunyouoff.I'm...gettingusedto
you.Don'tleaveme."

Thestiffpridegotthroughtoherwhennothingelsewouldhave.Sheturnedaroundandlookedathis
set features with softening eyes. It must indeed be hard for such a man, used to such a life-style, to
endurethelonelinessofthisisolatedbeachhouse.Couldsheblamehimforreactingtothefirstyoung
womanhe'dbeennearinmonths?

Shedrewinaslowbreath."Iwon'tleaveyou,"shesaidquietly."Butyou'vegottostopmakingdead
setsatmeifIstay.Iwon'tbetreatedlikeatemporaryamusement,especiallybyapatient.Itakemy
nursingseriously:Itisn'tagametome;neitherisitanopportunityforalittleholidayromancingon
theside."

"Youspeakbluntly,"hereplied."MayI?"

"Yes,sir."

"I have been without a woman for many months, and I'm not suited to the life of a hermit." His
shouldersliftedandfell."Ihadnointention—havenointention,"herephrased,"oftreatingyoulike
an amusement. I simply wanted a woman in my arms, for a moment. I wanted to feel like a man
again."Heshiftedrestlessly."Leadmeup,willyou?I'mtired."

Heseemedtoslump,andtearsburnedhereyes.Shehadn'tthoughtofhowbarrenhisemotionallife
would be because of the blindness, and she felt cold at her harsh rejection of him. She'd
misunderstood;nowshefeltguilty.

"I'm sorry I snapped," she said, taking him by the arm. "I...I didn't understand. I'm a little afraid of
men,Ithink.

Myfearmakesmeoverreact."

"Afraid?"heaskedcuriously,

"I've led a sheltered life," she confessed. "I don't even know how to protect myself. Men are very
strong...."

"Youmakemesoundlikeapotentialmugger,"hegroundout."Iwouldn'tattackyou!"

"Howreassuring;Iwasworriedtodeathaboutthat,"shesaidwithateasinglaugh.

All his bad humor disappeared at once. "I'll bet you were," he muttered. He found her hand and
clasped it in his, and she felt a strange little shock of pleasure at the warm strength of it. "Nothing
personal,Nurse;IonlyneedtobeledandIcanholdontoyoumoreeasilylikethis.Allright?"

Shelookeddownathisbrownhandholdinghers."Allright,"shesaidmeekly.Itwasn'tprofessional
ofcourse.

Butitwas...practical.

Hewaseasierafterthat,moreapproachable,regalingherwithstoriesofhistravelswhileshetook
himwalkinganddrivinginthecarandtriedtoeasehimoutofhiscoldshell.Someofthetaleshe
recountedwerefranklyshocking,andshebegantowonderatthewild-nessofthelifehe'dlead.

"What about your own life?" he asked while they were drinking coffee at a local restaurant. Their
tableoverlookedtheocean,andDanapickedatherapplepiewhilehereyesdrankinthebluenessof
thewater,thewhitenessofthebeach,dottedwithswimmersintheircolorfulbathingsuits.

"Hmmmm?"shemurmureddreamily.

He made an impatient sound. "Are you worshipping the view again? Lorraine said you watch the
oceanasifyou'reafraiditmayvanishanysecond."

"Iloveit,"shesaidsheepishly."Wedon'thaveoceansaroundAshton,youknow.Justopenlandanda
lotoffarmsandcattle."

"HowbigisAshton?"

"Aboutfivethousandpeople,"shetoldhim."Itisn'tfarsouthofAtlanta,butit'smostlyrural.Igrew
upthere.Iknowmosteverybodyelsewhodidtoo."

"Isthatoneofthosetownswherethesidewalkdrawsinatsixandeverythingclosesforthenight?"

"Verynearly.Wedon'tevenhaveabowlingalley.Although,"sheadded,"wedohaveatheateranda
skatingrink."

"Howexciting,"hemused."Nobars?"

"We'reinadrycounty,"shereplied.

"Youdon'tdrink,Igather."

Shesighed,watchingtheoceanagain."Mr.vanderVere,Ineverhave.I'msuremylifeisdullerthan
dishwatercomparedtoyours."

He lifted his coffee to his chiseled mouth, frowning slightly. "My world was an endless round of
parties,cruises,businessconventions,casinosandfirst-classtravel.Itwasneverdull."

Shetriedtoimaginealife-stylesohectic,andfailed."Wereyouhappy?"

Heblinked,staringinherdirection."Happy?"

"Icanlookitupinthedictionaryandreadyouthedefinitions,ifyoulike,"shemurmured.

"I was busy," he corrected, idly caressing the coffee cup. "Occupied. Entertained. But happy?" He
laughedshortly."Whatishappiness,Nurse?Tellme."

"Being at peace inside yourself, liking yourself and the whole world all at once," she said simply.
"Goingaboutyourworkwithyourwholeheartandlovingwhatyoudo."

"You'retalkingaboutafeeling,"hesaid,"notthetrappingsthatgowithit"

"Exactly.IcouldbejustashappyworkinginasewingplantordigginginagardenasIamnursing,if
itfulfilledme,"shetoldhim.

"Iimagineafamilycouldprovideyouwiththesamesenseofpurpose,"heremarked."Haveyounot
wantedahusbandandchildren?"

Shetoyedwithherpieandlaiddowntheforktopickuphercoffee."Mr,vanderVere,"shesaidafter
aminute,

"I'maveryplainwoman.Ihaverigidviewsonlifeandthelivingofit.Idon'thavecasualaffairs,I
workhardandIkeeptomyself.It'sveryunlikelythatI'mevergoingtofindamandumbenoughto
marryme."

He sat up straight. "You spend so much time running yourself down, Miss Steele," he said after a
minute,scowlingtowardher."Isitdeliberate,calculatedtokeeppeopleatarm'slength?"

Shelaughed."Isupposeso.Ilikemylife,whychangeit?"

"Yet,youseemdeterminedtochangemine,"heremindedher.

"That's different. Yours needs changing," she said pertly. "You were about to go into permanent
hibernation, and frankly, Mr. van der Vere, you're not the best companion in the world to hibernate
with.You'dhavedrivenyourselfcrazy."

He burst out laughing, his voice deep and amused, the sound of it like silver bells in the darkness.
"Andyou'resacrificingyourselftotendme,nodoubt."

"Of course," she returned, joining in the game. "Think of all the other people in the world I could
inflictmyselfon!"

Heseemedabouttosaysomething,thenthoughtbetterofit.Hefinishedhiscoffeeinoneswallow."I
wishIcouldseeyou,"hesaidsurprisingly."Iwonderifyoureallyareasplainasyouliketopretend."

She thought about the scar on her cheek and lifted her eyes to his broad, hard face. "Yes," she said
softly."lam."

Hismouthbrokeintoasmile."Beautyisonlyskindeep,theysay,miss."

"Yes,sir,"shesighed,"butuglygoesallthewaytothebone,doesn'tit?"

He laughed loudly, and the sound was infectious. She laughed with him, wondering at the easy
comradeshipoftheirdevelopingrelationship.Hewaslikeanotherman,andshefeltherselfchanging.
Despiteherneatnurse'suniform,whichseemedtobedrawingitsshareofcuriousstares,thewoman
insideitwasbeingdrawninexplicablyclosertothebigblondmanacrossfromher.

They passed a wreck on the way back to the beach house. Dana paled as she watched ambulance
attendants drag an unconscious form from the tangle of metal and glass, but she didn't make a big
thing of it. The rest of the way back she talked about the scenery and described houses and beach
propertytohim.Butinsideshewasrelivingeveryminuteofthewreckthathadkilledhermother.

Thatnightitwasinevitablethatthenightmarewouldcome.Shesawthetruckcomingtowardher,felt
theimpact,sawtheunearthlypositionofhermother'sbody....

Someonewasshakingherroughly;adeepvoicewascursingashereyesflewopen.Sheshookher
head,breathingraggedly,andfoundGannonandLorrainestandingbythebed.Gannonwaswearinga
darkrobeoverhispajamas,andLorrainewasclutchingadelicatepinknegligeearoundher,herface
troubled.

"Weheardyouscream,dear.Areyouallright?"Lorraineasked,concerned.

Danasatup,tryingtocalmherwildheartbeat.Hereyeswerefulloftears,andshefeltsickallover."It
wasjust...justanightmare,I'msorryIdisturbedyouboth."

"It'sallright,"Lorrainesaid."Wewereworried.Willyoube...?"

"I'llsitwithherforamoment,"Gannonsaidcurtly,ramminghishandsintohispockets."Wouldyou
havethemaidfixsomecoffeeandbringitup?"

"I'lldoitmyself,"Lorrainesaid,turning."Icoulduseacup,too.Backinaminute."

"Youdon'thavetostaywithme...."Danasaidtautly.

Hefelthiswaytothechairbythebedandsankintoit.Hisblondhairwastousled,hisfacewasgrim,
hisblindeyesbloodshot,asifhehadn'tsleptatall.Hispajamatopandrobehadfallenopenovera
matofblondhairthatseemedtocoverhisbroadchest,andhelookedimpossiblymasculineinher
bedroom.Hemadehernervous.

Oddlyenough,heseemedtobeconcernedabouther.Helookedtowardher,hiseyestroubled."Iwon't
leaveyou,Dana,"hesaidquietly,andthesoundofhergivennameonhislipsdisturbedandflattered
her.

Shepushedbackherlonghairwitharaggedsighanddabbedatthetearswithacomerofthesheet."I
shouldgetup,"shemurmured,tossingbackthecoverstoreachforherrobeatthefootofthebed.It
was blue terrycloth, and old, but it made her feel more secure with a man in the room—even a
sightlessone.

"Self-conscious?"heaskedgently."Youaren'tusedtomenseeingyouinyournightclothes,areyou?
NotthatIcansee...."hegrowled."Areyouallright?Whathappened?"

"Ihadanightmare,that'sall,"shesaid,andthemattresssprungupasshegottoherfeetandtiedthe
robesecurely.

Hestoodupatthesametime,collidingwithher.Shegaspedandclungtohimtokeepherbalance,and
themagicofhiswarmthandstrengthmadeherkneesevenweaker.

"Dana?"hewhispered,bending.

Incredibly,hefoundherkneesandbackandliftedhercompletelyoffthefloorinhisarms,holding
hertohischest.

"Mr....vanderVere..."sheprotested.

"MynameisGannon,"hebreathed,searchingblindlyforhermouth."Sayit..."

"Gannon..."

Hislipstookhisnamefromhers,andshefelttheirwarm,softpressureagainstherownwithaleapof
herheart.

Shestiffened,butwhenthepressurecontinuedwiththesametenderness,shelethertautmusclesrelax.

"That's it," he whispered. "I'm not going to hurt you. I only want to comfort you a little, that's all.
Please,don'tdenymetheonealtruisticgestureofmylife."

She watched his face as he kissed her again, softly, with the same undemanding pressure as before.
His mouth was warm and hard, and she liked the feel of it rubbing against her own. She liked the

mintysighofhisbreathonherlipsandthesmellofhimandthestrengthofhisarmsholdingher.

Sheletherarmsslidearoundhisneckandhermouthtentativelymovedagainsthis,atinymovement
likeatremor.Hestiffened;hisarmstightened.Thenhisbrowsbegantoknotandhisfacehardened.
AHatoncehismouthburrowedbetweenherlipsandthekissbecamecomplete.

Shegaspedandpushedathisshoulders,andhedrewbackimmediately,breathinghard.

"Predictable, wasn't it, little one?" he whispered with a wry smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take
liberties.Ireallydidmeantocomfortyouandnothingmore."

"It'sallright,Iunderstand,"shesaidshakily.Shewatchedhisfacewithawe.Shehadn'tdreamedthata
kisscouldbeso...frighteninglyaffecting.

"Perhapswe'dbetterhaveourcoffeeinmoresedatesurroundingsafterall,"hemurmureddrylyashe
set her back on her feet. "You're a temptation, miss, and you have a very sweet young mouth that I
couldlearntolikealltoowell.Idon'twanttoseeyourushwildlyawaybecauseIlostmyheadinthe
darkness."

Shedraggedherrobecloser."Asyousaid,"shereplied,"itwasthedarkness.Andmyfear."

Hetouchedhersleeve."Thewreckwesawthisafternoon—itbroughtbackunpleasantmemories?"

"Yes,sir."Shepushedbackherhair."Hadn'twebettergo?Yourstepmotherwillhaveapotofcoffee
bynow,Iexpect."

"Yes, I expect so." He let her take his arm and lead him out of the room. "And I thought I was the
patient,''heteasedsoftly."Perhapswewerebothmistaken."

ShemadeatinysoundandsmiledastheyjoinedLorraineinthediningroom.

ChapterFive

AminorcrisisinGannon'scompanykepthimoccupiedonthephoneforhoursthenextday,andan
unexpectedvisitorarrivedjustasthecookwasputtingdinneronthetable.

"Dirk!" Lorraine cried, smiling. She jumped up from the table and darted toward a tall, dark man
whileDanatriedtofigureoutwhothenewcomerwas.

HewasasdarkasGannonwasfair,andnotnearlyasbig.Hehadaneasysmileandhisfacewasthat
ofamanwholaughedalot.TheonlyDirkwhomDanahadheardmentionedduringherstayatthe
beachhousewasGannon'sbrother,butofcoursethiscouldn'tpossiblybehim...couldit?

"Andwhoisthis?"Dirkasked,whenLorrainestoppedhugginghim,noddingpasthertowhereDana
satneatlyinhernurse'suniformatthelongtable.

"Gannon'snurse,DanaSteele.Dana,"Lorrainesaidwithagaysmile,"thisismyotherstepson,Dirk
vanderVere."

"I'mverypleasedtomeetyou,"Danasaidpolitely.

Hegrinned,andsherealizedsuddenlythathewasn'tmucholderthanshewas.AndwhereGannon's
Dutchaccentwasdetectable,DirkspokeEnglishwithoutthetraceofanaccent.

"Thepleasureisallmine,"hecorrected."AmIintimefordinner?Great,I'mstarved."

"Whatbringsyoudownhere?"Lorraineasked.

"Gannon.He'sinthestudy,asusual,Itakeit?"hecontinued,ramminghishandsintothepocketsof
hisgraysuit.Hesighed."We'vegotastrikeonourhands,andit'sallmyfault."

"Isit,orisGannonjustblamingyou?"Lorrainemurmuredwithatinysmile.

He chuckled. "Know him pretty well, don't you? No, I suppose if he'd been in my shoes, he'd have
averteditThat'strueenough."Heshrugged."Iwasn'tinapositiontopromisetoomuchuntilIcould
talktoGannon."

"Canyouironitout?"

"That'swhathehadmeflydownheretofindout.Twooftheunionpeoplewantedtocomewithme,
butGannonwouldn'tallowit:Hedidn'twantthemtoseehim...likethis."

"Ifonlyheweren'tsosensitiveaboutit,"hisstepmothersighed.

"Amen."HeturnedtoDana."Makinganyprogress?"

Shelaughed."Nottoomuch,butatleastI'vecoaxedhimoutofthehouseafewtimes."

"It'sjustthatwecan'tmentionhisblindness,"Lorraineadded."Hewon'tevenlistenwhenthedoctor
discussesthereasonforit."

"Maybehewantstobeblind:HaveyoueverthoughtOfthat?"Dirkaskedsoberly."No,hearmeout,"
he continued, when the older woman would have interrupted. "You know how hard he was pushing
himselfbeforetheaccidentAndtherewasLaynhangingontohimlikealeech,dragginghimaround
theworldwithher....Hewasgoingtwenty-threeoutofeverytwenty-fourhours,anditwastellingon
him.Maybehisbodydidittohimtosaveitself."

"Layn,"Lorrainesaidbitterly."Whereisshenow,doyouknow?"

"Hangingaroundwitharichsheikh,Ihear,"Dirksaidcoldly."WhereIhopeshestays.Youdorealize
thatifGannonregainedhissight,she'dbebackherelikeashot?"

"Surelyhewouldn'ttakeherback,"theelderlywomansaid.

Dirklaughed."Areyoukidding?You'veseenLayn;whatsightedmancouldresisther?"

Lorrainesighedwearily."Isupposeyou'reright."

Danawassittingquietly,listening.Laynmusthavebeenthewomanwhohadwalkedoutonnunwhen
he was blinded. According to what they were saying, he must have cared for her very much. She
staredintoherplate.

Againstawomanlikethat,whatchancewouldaplainwomanhavewithamanlikeGannonvander
Vere?Sheblinked.Whyshouldshehavesuchanoddthought?Shedidn'tcareabouthim,sowhatdid
itmatteraboutthewomanfromhispast?

ShebecameawaresuddenlythatDirkwaswatchingher,butwhenshelookedup,hegrinned.

"Deep in thought, Miss Steele?" he asked. "How in the world did Gannon manage to find such an
attractivenurse?Thisisaprettydullplace."

Sheflushedattheunexpectedcompliment.She'dthoughtthescardownhercheekwoulddetractfrom
whatslightbeautyshepossessed,butDirkhadn't

seemedtonoticeit."You'reverykind,"shemurmured,"butIloveithere."

"Danaisn'tlikeLayn,mydear,"Lorrainesaidwithagentlesmile."She'smanagedtogetyourbrother
out of the house, out of his shell. He's even allowing me to have a small party next month for his
birthday—-justintimatefriends,youunderstand,butisn'titabigstepintherightdirection?"

Dirkchuckled."Yes,indeed.MissSteelemustbeamiracleworkerofsorts,"headded,winkingather.
"Well,letmegoandfacethedragon.Thenperhapswecansitdowntoapeacefulmeal."

He wandered off toward the study. The door opened and closed, and there was a loud discussion

behindit.

LorrainelaughedsoftlyasDana'sheadliftedcuriously.

"Nothing to worry about, Dana," she said. "They argue constantly, especially when it comes to
companypolicies.Gannonwouldliketoexpandthebusiness;Dirkiscautious.Gannonbelievesinthe
generousapproachtolabornegotiations;Dirkisconservative.They'reverydifferent."

"Isupposemostbrothersare,"camethequietreply."I'vealwayshatedbeinganonlychild.Iusedto
hopeforabrotherorsisterwhenIwaslittle."

"Yourparentscouldn'thaveotherchildren?"

Danashifteduncomfortably."No,"shesaidsimply,lettingitgoatthat.

"I'dbetterhavethemaidgetaroomreadyforDirk.Nodoubthe'llbehereatleastovernight.Inever
expectquicksolutionswhenmystepsonsstartdiscussingcompanypolitics."ShepattedDanaonthe
shoulderandlefttheroom.

It was another hour before the men joined them at the table, and Dana was starving. The beef and
scallopedpotatoeshadbeenkeptwarm,andnowfreshrollsandasparaguswithhollandaisesaucewas
beingbroughtinbythecook.

"Thatsmellslikeasparagus/'Gannonremarkedasheslidcautiouslyintohischairattheheadofthe
table.Helookedoutofhumor,butDananotedthathewasn'tscowlingasfiercelyasusual.

"Itis,"Lorrainesaid."Everythingsettled?"

Dirkonlylaughed."Ifyoubelievethat,I'vegotsomeoceanfrontpropertyinArizonaI'dliketotalkto
youabout"

"InthemiddleofthePaintedDesert,nodoubt,"Danamurmured,tongueincheek.

Dirk'seyebrowslifted."Howeverdidyouguess?"

Gannonwaslisteningtotheirconversation,andhisfacedarkened."Howlongareyoustaying,Dirk?"
heaskedcurtly.

"Oh,acoupleofdays,Isuppose—nowmatyou'vephonedDobbsandgottentheunionoffmyback,"
theyoungermanaddedwryly.

Gannon made a gruff sound and waited for Dana to fill his plate and tell him what was where. The
others watched the small ritual with careful amusement. It was so new for them to have Gannon
docile.

Her eyes ran over his hard face like silk, liking its rough contours, the broad forehead and jutting
browoverhisgrayeyes.Hewasahandsomeman.Danacouldalmostpicturehimineveningclothes;

he'dstandoutanywhere.

Dirk,watching,smiledatthelookonherface."Dana,howwouldyouliketodriveuptoSavannah
withmetomorrowandseethecity?"

She jerked her eyes up, astonished at the unexpected invitation. She wasn't the only one, because
Gannon'seyesdarkenedmenacingly.

"Ican'tspareher,"Gannonsaidshortly.

"She's been here for several weeks, dear," Lorraine reminded him, "without a single day off. Don't
youthinkshedeservesalittlerecreation?"

Gannon'sjawtautened."She'sbeenoutdrivingwithme,hasn'tshe?Walking?"

"Really,Mrs.vanderVere,it'sallright..."Danabegansoftly.

"No,itisn't,"Dirkbrokein."Sheisn'tslavelabor."

Gannonmadearoughsound."Allright,takeherwithyou,"hesaidharshly."Ifshethinkssheneedsa
dayawayfromme,Ican'tstopher."

Hewasmakingherfeelguilty,andshedidn'tlikeit.

"Shedoesneedadayawayfromhere,"Lorraineseconded."She'syoung,Gannon;itmustbeterrible
tobeshutawayfromtheworldLikethis."

"Butitisn't...!"Danatriedtosay,butGannon'sdeepvoicedrownedherwords.

"Go,then,"hesaidbitterly."Idon'tneedyou,MissSteele,andthat'safact.Ineverhave."Hetossedhis
napkinasideandalmostknockedoverhischair,gettingtohisfeet."Excuseme,I'velostmyappetite."

Danawaspainfullyawareofthetwopairsofeyeswatchingher,butshewastopdisheartenedtoput
her thoughts into words. She felt as if she'd betrayed the big Dutchman, and it wasn't a feeling she
liked.Perhapsshewasgettingtooclosetohimandadayawaywoulddohergood.Afterall,thisjob
wastemporary.Hemightregainhissightanydayandshe'dreturntoAshton.

Thatthoughtdisturbedherverymuch.Shewentwalkingonthebeachatdusk,draggingherfeetinthe
sand,hereyestroubledastheysoughtthehorizonacrosstheocean.Herdisorderlymindkeptgoing
backtothatwarm,slowkissthey'dsharedthenightbefore,andthestrangenewfeelingsithadkindled
in her. She couldn't remember ever wanting a kiss to begin again, not with any other man. But, of
course, Gannon was an experienced man. She hugged her arms across her chest. She had to stop
thinking about it nevertheless. She was his nurse, nothing more; she couldn't afford the luxury of
getting emotionally involved with him. He was just passing time, but Dana was far too moral a
woman to yield to temptation. Besides that, she didn't want him getting too close. It was a trap that
would rob her of her peace of mind, that would make her vulnerable. She didn't trust emotions

anymore.Especiallyshedidn'ttrustherown.Herlife,sincehermother'sdeath,haddissolved.Shefelt
totally alone, and a part of her liked that aloneness. It would protect her from any more wounds; it
wouldprotectherfrombeinghurtagain.

"Dana!Waitup!"

Shewhirled,thewindcatchingherloosenedhair,tofindDirkrunningalongthebeachtowardher.He
waswearingjeansandaknitshirt,andhewasbarefoot.

"You'refast,lady,"hechuckled,stickinghishandsinhispocketsashefellintostepbesideher."What
areyoudoingouthereallalone?"

"Enjoying the view," she admitted. He was easy to talk to, and she smiled. "Isn't it just great? Sea
breeze, all that ocean out there, and peace and quiet along with it. People tire me sometimes. I like
solitude."

"Don't mind your own company?" he teased lightly. "You're a rarity. Most people can't stand to be
alone."

"Your brother seems to like it well enough," she mused, glancing up at him. "Is it only since the
blindness?"

"Exactly.Oh,he'sbeenalonewolfmostofhislifeinthathelivesashepleases."Hefrowned."But
he's never cared for solitude like this. There were always... friends with him," he added, and she
wonderedifhemeanttosaywomeninsteadoffriends.

"We're all different," Dana sighed. "It's a good thing too. Imagine how dull it would be if we all
thoughtalike?"

"There'dbefewerwars,"heremindedher.

"Yes,butcreativitywouldgodownthedrain."

"Asyousay."Hepursedhislipsandlookeddownather."Ishemakingmuchprogress?"heasked.

She let her shoulders rise and fall. The comfortable jeans and sweat shut she was wearing felt
wonderfulinthecoolair."Ithoughtsountiltonight.Ireallydon'tthinkit'sagoodideathatIgoto
Savannahwithyou—notifit'sgoingtoupsethimlikethat.It'sbeenastrugglejustgettinghimoutof
thehouse."

Henodded."Icanimagine.Butyoumustn'tlethimmakeyouintoapuppet,Dana.Hecandothat,I've
watchedhim."

"I won't. But he does pay my salary, and his track record with his nurses isn't super, I'm told." She
liftedaneyebrow."Ifhethrowsmeout,who'llbebraveenoughtotakemyplace?"

He winced. "What a horrible thought. Mother told me she begged your supervisor not to tell you
everythingaboutGannon.Shewasafraidyouwouldn'tcome."

Danalaughed."Imightnothave.ButonceIgothere,Iwouldn'thaveleftfortheworld.Hechallenged
me,yousee."

"Ifyouwantarealchallenge,"hesaiddryly,"yououghttowanderintohisstudyrightnow.Ibarely
escapedwithmyskinintact."

"Whatdidyoudotoirritatehim?"sheasked.

He chuckled, watching the ocean begin to darken as the sun set. "I breathed," he murmured. "He's
thumpingaroundtheroom,knockingoverfurnitureandcursingeverythingfromthecolorofthesky
tothecarpetthatkeepstrippinghimup."

Shedrewinaslowbreath."ShouldIgoinandseeifIcancalmhimbeforeyourmotherjumpsoffthe
balcony?"

"Iseeyou'vefiguredLorraineoutverywell,"heobserved."She'sverynervouswhenhe'sinatemper
—andhehasn'tbeenanyotherwaysincetheaccident."

"AtleastyoubelieveasthedoctorsandIdo:thatit'sallamatterofmakinghimrealizehehasn'tlost
hissightpermanently."

"Oh, I agree, all right. But Gannon's the one who has to be convinced. And, lady," he added with a
grin,"thatisgoingtobeafull-timejob,andnotwithouthazards,"

"I'vealreadyfoundthatout,"shesaidwithasigh.

"Won'tyouchangeourmindandcomewithme?"

Shelookedupathimthoughtfully."Ifyou'lltakeMr.vanderVerealong,too,I'llcome."

Heliftedhiseyeshelplesslytothesky."Whatahorriblethought."

"Willyou?"

Helookeddown,hisheadcocked,hiseyestwinkling."Foryou,lovelylady,anything."

"Notsolovely,"shemurmured,touchingthescar.

"It hardly shows," he argued. "And it's healing. You'll be left with hardly a memory of it in a few
weeks."

"Isuppose."

"Is that why you came here?" he asked quietly, stopping to watch her expression. "To hide your

scars?"

She stared at the sand under her own bare feet. "I suppose I did, in a way. My mother died in an
accidentafewmonthsago,yousee.She'dbeendrinking,andIletherdrive...."Hershoulderslifted
andfell."IgotafewscarsandIhadaconcussion,buteveryoneseemstofeelthatIkilledher."

"Dothey?"heaskedthoughtfully,"orisitguiltthat'spunishingyou?"

Hereyesflashed."Guilt?"

"Youreyesaretortured,MissSteele,"hesaidsoftly,studyingthem."You'reVeryyoungtotrytolive
withthatmuchguilt.I'mafatalistmyself.Ibelievethatthehourofdeathispreordained."

Sheswallowed."Isit?"

"Suchthingsarebestlefttotheologiansandphilosophers.Butitseemstomeahorriblewastetolet
guiltdestroyyourlifealongwithyourmother's.Wassheahappyperson?"

Sheshookherhead."Myparentshaddivorced,myfatherhadremarriedandMandyfounditrough
tryingtolivebyherself."Shestuckherhandsinherpockets."Shecouldn'tcope.Shewantedmeto
comebackhome,totakecareofher."Shelaughedbitterly."Icouldn'teventakecareofmyself...."

Hecaughthergentlybytheshouldersandturnedhertofacehim."Trylivinginthepresent.Youcan't
changewhatwas."

Shefeltherlowerliptremble."Theguiltiseatingmealive."

"Thenstopfeedingit,"headvised."Stophiding."

Shesearchedhiskindeyes."Haveyoueverthoughtofbecomingapsychiatrist?"sheasked,forcing
lightnessintohertone.

One corner of his mouth curled up. "I studied psychology for three years before I decided I liked
electronicsbetterandtransferredtoatechnicalcollege,"heconfessed.

Sheburstoutlaughing."Ishouldhaverealized,"shesaid."Youcouldprobablydoyourbrothermore
goodthanIhave,youknow."

"Hewon'tlistentomeortalktome,"hesaid,shakinghishead."Buthe'lllistentoyou."

"OnlywhenIyell."

"It'sastart.YoureallywanttotakehimtoSavannah?Okay.Butyoutellhim,I'mnotgoingbackin
theretosavemylife,"hechuckled.

"Ifindthatblatantcowardice,"shemurmured.

"Nodoubt.Icallitself-preservation."Hestrodebackdownthebeachbesideher."Haveyoutoldhim
—aboutthescars?"

"No,"shesaidsimply.Sheswallowed."You...won'ttellhim?"

He glanced at her. "You're making too much of them, you know," he said softly. "You're a lovely
woman.Butifyoudon'twanthimtoknow..."

"It's not for any special reason," she said quickly. "It's just that, well, he doesn't need to know, does
he?"

Heturnedawaybeforeshecouldseethetinysmileonhisface."No,ofcoursehedoesn't."

They walked quietly back to the house, and Dana gathered all her nerve before she knocked at the
doorofGannon'sstudy.

"Comein"wastheharshreply.

Sheopenedthedoor,tofindhimsittinginhisbigarmchairwithtumbledfurnitureallaroundhim,a
blackscowlonhisfaceandasmokingcigaretteinhishand.

"Whoisit?"heaskedshortly.

"It'sme,"Danasaid.

Thescowlblackened."Backfromyourdailyconstitutional?"heaskedsarcastically."Didmybrother
gowithyou?"

"Yes,hedid,"shesaidcoolly."Itwasquiteanicechange,towalkandtalkwithoutyelling."

Hesnorted,takinganotherdrawfromthecigarette."Canyoufindmeanashtray?"

"Why?"sheaskedinnocently,notingthepileofashesbesidethechaironthecarpet"Areyoutiredof
dumpingthemontheflooralready?"

"Don'tgetcute.Justfindmeanashtrayandbringithere."

Shedidn'tlikethesilkynoteinhisvoice,butshegottheashtrayandapproachedhimwarily.

"Whereareyou?"heasked,cockinghisheadandlisteningintently.

Shesettheashtraysoftlyonthearmofthechairandmovedback."Backhere,"sherepliedthen."Your
ashtrayisnexttoyou."

Hemutteredsomething."Afraidtocometooclose?Wisewoman."

Sheshiftedfromonefoottotheother."It'smytimeoff,"sheremindedhim,"butIwantedtoaskyou
something."

"Iknowit'syourtimeoff,"hesaidcurtly."Youremindmeeverydayexactlyhowmuchyouhaveand
when you want it, so why the poor little slave girl act over the supper table? Playing on Dirk's
sympathies?Imightwarnyouthatmybrotherissomethingofaplayboy:Helikesskirts."

"He'sanice,kindman,andyououghttobehalfasblessedwithhisgoodhumor,"shethrewback.

"Shrew!" he accused, sitting up straight. His face hardened; his eyes darkened. "If I could see you,
you'dbeinconsiderabletroublerightnow."

"Whatwouldyoudo,takemeoveryourknee?"sheasked.

Hisnostrilsflared."No,Iwouldn'triskbreakingmyhand."

"Howdiscerningofyou,"shemurmured.

Hiseyessearchedinherdirection,andsomethingwickedflaredinthem."IthinkI'dratherkissyou
speechlessthanhityou."

Shecouldn'thelpit.Sheflushedlikeabuddingrose,gapingathim.Herkneesfeltstrangelyweakas
thewordsbroughtbackvividmemories.

"Nocomment?"hemurmured."HaveIshockedyou?Orwouldyouratherforgetthatlastnightinmy
armsyourespondedlikeawomaninsteadofashrew?"

"I'myournurse,Mr.vanderVere,not...!"shebegan.

"You're a woman," he interrupted, "and somehow I think that fact has escaped you for a long time.
Youhavethefeeloffineporcelain,asifyou'veneverbeentouchedbyhumanhands.Isitpartofthe
shieldyouweartokeeptheworldatbay?Areyouafraidoffeelingtoomuch?"

"I'mafraidofbeingaccusedofunethicalconduct,"shereturned."Youaren'tthefirstmanwho'smade
a pass at me, Mr. van der Vere, and, sadly, you probably won't be the last. Sick men do sometimes
makeagrabfortheirnursesifthenursesareyoungandnottoounattractive."

"Theunattractivebitwouldn'tmattertoablindman,wouldit?"heaskedshortly.

"Theblindnessistemporary,"shesaidfirmly."Thedoctorshavetoldyouthat.Yoursightwillreturn;
there'snotissuedamage—"

Hecursedroundly."Thereis!"heshotback.Hegottohisfeetandalmostfellinhishaste.

Sherushedforwardwithoutthinkingandhelpedhimregainhisbalance,onlytofindherselftrapped
inhisarmsbeforeshecouldmoveaway.

"Mr.vanderVere,"shesaidwithcontrolledfirmness,"pleaseletmego."

But his fingers tightened, and a look of sudden pain washed over his features as her small hands
pressedhelplesslyagainsthiswarm,broadchest."Dana,don'tpushmeaway,"hesaidsoftly.

Thequietpleatookthefightoutofher.Shestaredupathim,hatingwhathemadeherfeel,hatingher
ownreactiontoit.Buthowcouldshefighthimlikethis?

Hisbighandsranupanddownherarms."IwishIcouldseeyou,"hesaidharshly.

"There's nothing uncommon about me. I'm just an ordinary woman," she said quietly. "I'm not a
beauty;I'mplain."

"Letmefindthatoutformyself,"hesaid,lettinghishandsmovetothesidesofherface."Letmefeel
you."

"No!"Shetriedtomoveaway,buthishandsweretoostrong.

"Whatisthereaboutmytouchthatfrightensyou?"heaskedharshly."Iwon'thurtyou,Ipromise."

"Itisn'tthat...!"

"Then, what?" His face contorted. "For God's sake, am I such a leper? Does my blindness repel
you...?"

Hereyesclosed;herlowerliptrembled.Therewasnothingforitnow:Shewasgoingtohavetotell
himthetruthorlethimfeelit,andshedidn'tthinkshecouldbearthat.Shedidn'twanthimtoknow
thatshewasdisfigured.

"I'm...there'sascar,"shewhisperedshakily,hereyesclosedsothatshemissedtheexpressiononhis
face.

"Downmyleftcheek.Averylongone."

Hishandsshifted,andhefoundthescarwithitspuckeredsurfaceandtraceditfromhertempledown
pastherear,traceditwithfingersthatsuddenlytrembled.

Hereyesclosedevenmoretightly."Ididn'twantyoutoknow,"shewhispered.

"Dana." He searched her delicate features with warm, slow fingers, tracing her eyebrows, her eyes,
hernose,hercheeksand,finally,hertremblingmouth.

"It'slikeabow,isn'tit?"hewhispered,drawinghisforefingeroverthelineofhermouth."Doyou
wearlipstick?"

"No,"sheadmitted."I...Idon'tlikeit."

"Firm little chin, high cheekbones, wide-spaced eyes...and a scar that I can barely feel, which must
hardlyshowatall."Hebentandbrushedhismouthoverthescarwithsuchtendernessthathereyes

cloudedandtearsescapedfromthem.

"Don'tcry,"hewhispered.

Sheswallowed."Youmakeitseemso...sosmallathing."

"Itis.Beautyismorethanskindeep—isn'tthatwhattheysay?Youhavealovelyyoungsoul...anda
stubbornspiritthatmakesmegnashmyteeth,eventhoughIrespectit."Heliftedhishead."Dana,I'd
givealottotasteyourmouthagain.Butthatwouldn'tbeethical,Isuppose,andwemustaboveallbe
ethical."

Shesmiledathiscynicism."Yes,memust,"shemurmured.Shedisentangledherselfgentlyfromhis
handsandhelethergowithasigh."Now,aboutgoingtoSavannah..."

Hisfacedarkenedandhescowled."Idonotwantyoutogo...."

"Oh,DirkandIaren'tgoingalone,"sheassuredhim."We'retakingyouwithus."

Heblinked."What?"

"Wethoughttheridewoulddoyougood,"shemurmured."Helpyourdisposition,asitwere.Blow
thecobwebsaway."

Hechuckledsoftly,thenloudly,andshelovedthemasculinebeautyofhisfacewhenitrelaxed."Ican
thinkofsomethingthatwoulddomydispositionalotmoregoodthanadrive,"hemurmured,tongue
incheek.

Sheclearedherthroatandmovedtowardthedoor."Youjustsithereandminkaboutthat.I'mgoing."

"Coward,"hesaidsilkily.

"Strategicretreat,"shecorrected.Shepausedatthedoorway."Thankyouforwhatyousaidaboutthe
scar,Mr.

vanderVere."

"MynameisGannon,"heremindedher."I'd...liketohearyousayit"

"Gannon,"shewhispered,makingacaressofitSheturnedawayfromhissetfeatures."Goodnight."

Shebarelyheardhisown"Goodnight"asthedoorclosedbehindher.

ChapterSix

Dana had never seen a city like Savannah, having spent most of her life around Ashton. She was
overwhelmedbythehistoryofthesprawlingcity,andwhensheandDirkandGannonhadlunchatan
eighteenth-centurypirateinn,shealmostswooned.

"Piratesreallystoppedhere?"sheaskedinawhisper,staringaroundatthehomeyinterior,whichwas
crowdedwithlunchguests.

"Accordingtolegend,theydid,"Gannonmurmured."IfIremembercorrectly,youcanseetheocean
fromthewindow,canyounot?"

Sheglancedouttowardthehorizon."Oh,yes,youcertainlycan.Whatkindsofboatsarethoseway
outthere?"

"Take your pick—shrimp boats, fishing boats, trawlers, tugboats.... It's a busy harbor," Dirk
commented."Theseafoodhereissuper."

"Somethingelseweneedtoshowher,"Gannonsaidbetweensipsofhishot,creamycoffee,"isoneof
thehiddengardens."

Aflower-lover,herearsperkedup."Hiddengardens?"

"Little courtyards. Most of them are in private homes, but we have cousins here who love visitors.
We'lldrivebybeforeweleavethecity,"Gannontoldher."Ithinkyou'llbeimpressed."

"I'mgladwedidn'tbringLorraine."Dirkchuckled."EverytimeshevisitsMaudeandKaty,shewants
torenovatethebeachhouse."

"MaudeandKatyarespinsters,"Gannoncontinued."Maudemarried,butherhusbandisdead,soshe
liveswithKaty,whonevermarried.They'resisters."

"You'lllikethefurnitureespecially,Ithink,"Dirkadded."Mostofitismahogany.Itcamefromthe
WestIndies,whereoneofourancestorsmadeafortuneinshipping."

"Indeedhedid,"Gannonchuckled."RaidingBritishships.Hewasapirate."

"NowIknowwhyGannon'ssohardtogetalongwith,"DanatoldDirkwithawickedgrin."It'sinhis
blood.Iwonderhowmanypeoplethatpirateancestortossedoverboardtofeedhungrysharks?"

"Onlyone,aslegendsgo,"Gannonsaid,hiseyestwinklingastheystaredstraightahead."Hiswife,"
headdedonalowchuckle."Well,theoldblackguard!"Danaexclaimed."Hefoundherinhiscabin
withhisfirstmate,"

hewhispered,"andtiedthemtogetherandpushedthemfromthestarboarddeckintotheocean."She
shivered.

"What happened to him?" "Nobody's sure," Gannon continued. "But at least one legend says that he
wentontobecomeaprovincialgovernorintheWestIndies.""Injustice,"Danagrumbled.

"That depends on your definition," Gannon reminded her. "Those were different times; there were
differentcodesofhonor.Inthosedaysitwassuicideforawomantobeadulterous."

"Andthesedaysit'smorethe'in'thingthannot,"Dirknodded."Howtimeschange."

"Not always for the better," Dana added. Her eyes widened as she saw the platters of seafood being
broughtbytheirwaitress."Food!"sheexclaimed.

"Ihopeyourappetiteisuptoit,"Dirkteased.

"Ifitisn't,I'llgohomewithmypocketsfull,"shereturned,andwaspleasedtohearGannon'slaughter
minglingwithhisbrother's.

ThehappymoodlastedandseemedtoincreasewhentheyreachedtheVictorianhomeofthesisters
VanBloom.

Maude was tall and thin and Katy was short and dumpy, but they shared a love of people that went
beyondtheirphysicalattributes.

Danawasamazedatthegardenshesawwhenshewalkedthroughtheblackwrought-irongate.The
courtyard was floored with brick, and its size was about that of a medium-size living room. It was
filledwithflowersandpottedshrubsandtrees,andtherewasblackwrought-ironfurnituresetneara
smallfountainpositionedinfrontofavine-coveredwall.DanacouldunderstandwhyLorrainefelt
like redoing the beach house every time she came to the Van Blooms'. It made the most infrequent
gardener'sfingersitchtorecreateit.

"Lovely,isn'tit?"Gannonsaidfrombehindher."Irememberitverywell."

"Youmayhaveappreciatedit,mydear,"Maudesaidshortly,"butthatwomanyoubroughtwithyou
lasttimemostcertainlydidnot.Didyouhearher,mutteringaboutputtinginabarandahottub...!"

Danaturned,frowning,andGannonlookeddistinctlyuncomfortable.

"Laynlikesmodernsurroundings,Aunt,"Gannonsaidcurtly."Whatkindsofflowersdoyouhavein
here?"

Maude hesitated before she let the subject of Gannon's former girlfriend drop. "Azaleas, my dear,"
she.said.

"Rosesandsultanasandgeraniumsinshadesofpinkandred.Iparticularlylikethered.Howabout
you,MissSteele?"

Dana sighed. "Oh, I just love them all," she said with quiet enthusiasm. "I don't think I've ever seen

anythingsolovely."

"Youmighttryoneofyourown;itisn'tsodifficult,"Maudeencouraged.

"Thenurse'shomeisn'tthebestplace,I'mafraid,"Danasaidwryly.

"You'reanurse?"Maudeburstout."Why,soam1.1practicedasanR.N.foroverfifteenyearsbefore
Iretired.

Come,mydear,let'ssitanddiscussthechangesoverapotofhottea."

Itwasalongtimebeforethetwowomenfinished,andthensuddenlytheothershadjoinedthemandit
wastimetoleave.DanaclimbedintothefrontseatwithDirk,whileGannonsataloneandquietinthe
backseatandturnedhisheadinthedirectionofthecharmingoldhomewithafeelingofloss.

"Isn'titgrand?"Danasighed."AretheremanyofthosecourtyardsinSavannah?"

"More than you'd imagine," Dirk replied. "There's an active historical foundation here, with
conscientiousmemberswhohavealoveofhistoryandasenseofcontinuity.They'veaccomplisheda
lot,asyou'llnoticewhenwegothroughthedowntownarea.GeneralOglethorpeplannedforgardens
whenhelaidoutthegridpatternofthefirststreetsinthecity,yousee.Heevenestablishedasortof
publicnursery.Savannahisfamousforitspublicsquaresaswell."

"It'sabeautifulcity.Iwishwehadmoretimetoseeit,"Danasaid.

"We'llcomebackagain,"Dirkpromisedwithagrin."You'rethekindofgirlIliketotakesightseeing,
Dana:Youhavesuchanaturalenthusiasmfornewthings."

"Ilovebeauty,that'sall,"shereplied."Thankyoufortoday,Dirk."

"Todaywillbethefirstofmany,"theyoungermanpromised."We'lldothisagain."

Inthebackseat,Gannon'sfacegrewdarkerandharder,andneitheroftheoccupantsofthefrontseat
noticedthathewasn'ttakingpartintheconversation.Danawaslostinthememoryofwhatshe'dseen,
and Dirk was capitalizing on her interest to freeze his brother out of the running. He liked what he
sawinthissoft-voicedwildflower,andhewasn'tplanningtolosehertohisfreebooterofabrother.
Hewasgoingtostakeaclaimwhiletherewasstilltime.

Dana, blissfully unaware of her companion's dark thoughts, was chattering away about the garden
withoutacareintheworld.Thegaietylasteduntiltheywerebackatthebeachhouseandinside,until
Gannoncalledsharplyforhertojoinhiminthestudy.Andwhenthedoorclosed,thebeautyofthe
daywentintoatotaleclipsewithhisharshoutburst.

"Yourjob,"hesaidwithoutpreamble,standingrigidlyinthemiddleofthefloor,"istolookafterme,
nottoflirtwithmybrother."

Shefrozeatthedoor,staggeredbytheattack."Ibegyourpardon?"

"Youheardme,"hegrowled."Fromnowonthere'llbenomoreofthat.Whileyouworkforme,you
doitexclusively.IwillnothavemyroutineinterruptedbythesecharminglittleoutingswithDirk."

"Youcametoo,"sheburstout."AndI'llremindyouthatyouonlypayformyservices,notmysoul!"

"That,"hesaid,"isdebatable.KeepawayfromDirk."

Shedrewherselfuptoherfullheight."Iwillnot,"shesaidshortly."Aslongashe'shereIwillshow
himthesamepolitenessandcourtesythatIshowyourmother.Andifyoudon'tlikethat,fireme."

"Withpleasure.Packyourthingsandgetout."

Shehadn'tbeenpreparedforthat.Wildthoughtswhirledthroughhermind,theforemostamongthem
beingthatshe'dhavetoleavehim,justwhenshewasgetting...usedtohim.Buthisfacewasasdarkas
thunder,andhehadalookofamanwhowouldn'tbackdownhalfaninchtosavehislife.

"Ifthat'swhatyouwant,Mr.vanderVere,I'llbepleasedtoleaveyoualonewithyourbadtemper."
Shewatchedhisrigidfacetwitch,asifherreadyreplyhadcomeasasurprise.Shecouldhardlyresist
a faint smile as she opened the door and went out. She'd had the last word, at least But what would
becomeofhimnow?

ShestartedupthestaircasewhenLorraineappearedatthetopofit.

"Thereyouare,"theolderwomansaidwithasmile."Whatwouldyoulikefordinner?I'vehadthe
cookthawsomesteaks—"

"Idon'tthinkI'llhavetime,"Danasaidquietly."I'mgoinguptopack."

Lorrainepaled."But,mydear,you'redoingsowellwithhim.Won'tyoureconsider?"

"It'snotme,"Danarepliedwithaquietsmile."I'dhavestuckitout,buthejustfiredme."

Theotherwomanblinked."Firedyou?Why?"

"Iwasflirtingoutrageouslywithhisbrother,"wastheamusedreply."Orsohesaid.Ididn'tknowI
haditinme."

Lorraine laughed softly. "Oh, my. It's not funny in the least, and I'm not laughing at you. But
consideringthelengthoftimeyou'veknownmyotherstepson...PoorGannon."

"Poorme,"DirksaidfrombehindDana."Igatherthatsomething'safoot.Dana'sbeenfired,andI'm
theculprit?"

"Iwasflirtingwithyou,"Danatoldhim.

Hiseyebrowsarched."Wereyou?Youmighthavetoldmeaboutit;Ididn'tevennotice."

"Dirk,dosomething,"Lorrainepleaded."Gannonsimplycan'tfireDanajustwhenI'vegottenusedto
her!"

"I'llseewhatIcando,"Dirksighed,givingthestudydooralong,hesitantglance."Butdon'texpect
miracles."

"I,forone,willnot.I'mpacking."Danastartedupthestairs."Don'tworry,Mrs.vanderVere,I'llfind
yousomeonetoughtoreplaceme—perhapsMrs.Pibbs...?"

"IwasthinkingmorealongthelinesofthatbigmanonthatadventureshowIlikeontelevision"—
Lorrainescowled—"Theonewhohireshimselfoutasabouncerinhissparetime...."

Dana laughed softly. "Good luck." She went on up the stairs and into her room, closing the door
gentlybehindher.Itwasjustbeginningtosinkinthatshedidn'thaveajoboraplacetogo.Herjobat
the hospital had been filled out of necessity, and without it she couldn't move back in with her
roommate. She'd just joined the unemployed of the world, and all because her employer had some
strangeideathatshe'dbeenmakingaplayforhisbrother.

Themoreshethoughtaboutit,themaddershegot.HowdareheaccuseherofchasingDirk?Itwas
just as well that she was leaving. Let him sit here and stew all alone; it seemed to be all he wanted
fromlife.Lethimwallowinself-pityandconvincehimselfthathewasblindforever,andseeifshe
cared.

Theproblemwasthatshedidcare—verymuch.Thethoughtofthebigmansittingaloneinthatroom
without trying to help himself made her want to cry. Nobody else would last with him. And most
nurseswouldjustthrowuptheirhandsandwalkout:Theywouldn'ttakethekindofabusehehanded
out.Shedidn'tliketothinkofstrangersdoingthethingsforhimthatshedid;evenhandinghimhis
medicine and leading him around obstacles had become a part of her life that she didn't want to
surrender.

Andshewouldkeeprememberingthewayhe'dkissedher....Ithadbeenunethical,butsosweet.She'd
feltnecessaryforthefirsttimeinherlife—secureandprotectedandneeded.Allthecolorwouldgo
outoftheworldwhensheleftthislonelyhousebythesea.

She started packing her few things with a heart that felt like lead. The sudden tap on her door
interruptedher,andshewenttoansweritwithathuddingpulse.

Dirkwasstandingjustoutside,hishandsinhispocketsandadisgustedlookonhisface.

"I'mafraidImadeitworse,"hesaidapologetically,withafaintsmile."Notonlywouldn'therelent,he
wentrightthroughtheceilingandorderedmeoutofthehouse."

Shesighed.She'dhoped...butwhatdiditmatternow?Shereturnedthesmilehalfheartedly."I'msorry
aboutthat.He'sinanastymood.IonlywishIknewwhatwaswrongwithhim."

"Are you quite sure you don't?" he asked with quiet suspicion. "He's very possessive about you. I
haven'tseenhimthiswaysincehisearlydayswithLayn,beforehefoundoutwhatabarracudashe
reallywas."

Dana felt the blush work its way up into her hairline, and the fact that Dirk grinned wickedly didn't
helpittofade.

"Soit'slikethat,"hemurmured."NowonderhewassoangrywhenyoudecidedtogotoSavannah
withme."

"It'snotlikethat,"sheargued."I'mhisnurse.Thereissuchathingasethics—"

"Andsuchathingaslove,"heinterrupted."Whatdoesethicshavetodowiththat?Hecaresforyou—
surelyyou'venoticedit?"

Her eyes closed briefly. "I've notice that he's... attached to me," she corrected. "But you must
remember that he's blind—temporarily or not. It makes him feel vulnerable, and he doesn't like it.
Whathethinkshefeelsformemaybenothingmorethanaffection.I'mhisanchorrightnow.Ifhe
regains his sight—and I'm convinced that he will—I will no more fit into his world than he will fit
intomine."

"Thatmighthavebeentrueonce,''Dirkagreed,"buthe'schanging."

Thatwastrue,hewas,evenifjustfaintly.ButDanawastoowarytohope,andshesaidso.

"Istillthinkthatifyouwentdownstairsandtalkedtohimyourself,youmightchangehismind,"he
added.

She laughed softly. "I don't agree. And pride is my greatest fault; I'm not easily bent, you see." She
shruggedherslendershoulders."It'sbetterthisway.Mrs.vanderVerewon'tfinditverydifficultto
replaceme...."

"And you won't have risked an involvement, right?" he asked softly. "All right, it's your life. But I
thinkyou'remakingabigmistake."

"Asyousaid,"sheremindedhimquietly,"itismylife."

Henodded."Well,takecareofyourself.Althoughit'sbeenbrief,it'sbeenniceknowingyou.Wemay
meetagainsomeday."

Shesmiled."Itisn'tlikely.Butthankyouanyway.Good-bye."

"Good-bye."

Sheclosedthedoorgentlybehindherandhatedthequicktearsthatrushedintohereyes.Shehadn't
wantedtofacewhatshewasbeginningtofeelforGannonvanderVere,butDirkhadforcedherto.

Yes,itwasagoodthingthatitwouldendthere.BecausewhenGannondidregainhissight,thelast
thinghe'dwantorneedinhislifewouldbeaquiet,scaredlittlenursewithinhibitions.Andshewas
wiseenoughtorealizeit.

Allthesame,shepacedthefloorforwhatseemedlikehoursaftershe'dbathedanddressedforbed
and finished gathering all her belongings into her suitcase. Her eyes felt bloodshot; her heart felt
sore,asifwounded.Sheknewitwaspointlesstogotobed;shecouldn'thaveslept.

Thesoftknockatthedoorseemedlikeafigmentofherimagination,andshewalkedtowarditlikea
daydreamer.SurelyDirkhadn'tcomebacktosaygood-byeagain?

Shecaughtthedoorknob,turneditandfoundataciturn,weary-eyedGannonstandingquietlyinthe
hall.Hewaswearingwine-coloredpajamaswithalongmatchingrobe,andhisblondhairwasbadly
rumpled,asifhe'dtrieddesperatelytosleepandcouldn't.

"Dana?"heaskedsoftly.

Herheartjumpedwildlyatthesoundofhername."Yes?"shesaidinatauttone.

Hejammedhisbighandsintohispocketsandleanedwearilyagainstthewall,hiseyesstaringstraight
ahead.

"Doyouwanttogo?"

"Throwing the ball back into my court?" she mused. "Will it salve your pride if you can make me
admitthatIdon't?"

Heshookhishead."Butitmightmakeiteasierformetosleep.I...don'twanttohavetobreakinanew
nursenow.I'vegottenusedtoyou.Wartsandall,"headdedcoolly.

Itwasinsane,shetoldherself,toletherselfbetalkedintostaying.Itwouldbebetterforbothofthem
ifshefoldedhertentandstolequietlyawayintohismemory.Butshelookedathimandlovedhim;it
wasassimpleasthat.Andthethoughtofleavinghimbecameanightmare.

"I'llonlystay,"shesaidfirmly,"ifyou'llstopaccusingmeofthingsIhaven'tdonewithmenIbarely
know."

His jaw tautened; his eyes flashed. But he sighed and nodded. "Very well. As long as you don't
contemplatedoingthem,"heagreed.

"Ifyoucouldseeme,"shemurmured,"justthethoughtofmyflirtingwithamanwouldamuseyou.
I'mnotevenpretty."

"Youhavealovelyvoice,"hesaid,catchingherbysurprise.Hisfingersreachedoutandinstinctively
foundherface,brushinglightlyacrosshercheekandintohersofthair.Hiseyesclosedinascowl.
"Don'tgo,Dana.You'dtakethecolorwithyou."

"You'dverysoonfindsomeonetoputitback,"shetoldhim,movingawayfromthedisturbingfeelof
hisfingers."Butifyoulike,I'llstay...alittlelonger."

Hegrinnedthen,andallthelinesseemedtofalloutofhishardface."UntilIfireyouagain?"

Shesmiled."Untilyoufiremeagain."

"Getup early," hesaid, moving awayfrom the wall. "Ifind myself lookingforward to those walks
alongthebeachwithyou."

"Yes...Gannon,"shewhispered,watchinghisfacechange,soften,mellow.

Henodded."Yes.That'sastart,atleast.Goodnight,Dana."

"Goodnight"

He touched the wall until he reached his own room, and disappeared into the darkness. Dana stared
after him quietly, surprised at the burst of joy she felt over what had happened. She didn't have to
leave him. She stepped back into her own room with a silent prayer of thanks. At least she had his
companyforalittlelonger.She'dliveonitallherlife.

Hewasscowlingwhensheappeareddownstairsforbreakfastthenextmorning,andLorrainelooked
justasuncomfortable.

"Good morning, dear," she told Dana absently, chewing on her lower lip as she aimed back to
Gannon.

"Aretheysure?Theycouldbemistakenagain,since..."

"He said they aren't," he growled. He muttered a rough word under his breath and gripped his cup
tightlyinbothhands."Itoldyou,"hesaidshortly."Iknewfromthebeginningthathysteriawouldn't
causesomuchpain.

They'llfinditnow,too,sincethey'vediscoveredwhatIknewallalong."

"Whatisit?"Danaaskedquickly,sensingdisaster.

Lorraine sighed. "The X rays—there was a mixup: One of the new people at the hospital mistook
Gannon's for another patient and mislabeled them. It wasn't really her fault; she was certain that
someoneelsehadmadethemistakeandwastryingtocorrectit."

Danafeltherfacewhiten.Gannonwassittingverystraight,quietlysippinghiscoffee.

"There was something on the X rays they'd wrongly linked to another patient," Lorraine finished
wearily.

"When they did a brain scan, it came back clear, so they repeated the X rays. That was when they

discoveredit.

It'sbeenweeks,yousee,andthey'dtoldtheotherpatientthatnothingcouldbedone."Sheshrugged.
"Oddly enough, his sight came back... It was only in one eye and was apparently truly hysterical in
nature."

"Which mine isn't, apparently," Gannon growled. He set the coffee cup down so roughly that it
sloshedeverywhere,burninghim.

Danajumpeduptodabatitandhepushedatherroughly.

Shefellagainstthetablewithagasp,andatthetinysoundheseemedtocalmallatonce.

"Dana?"Hereachedout"Dana,didIhurtyou?Dana!"

Sherubbedherside."I'mallright,"shesaidquickly,shakingherheadatLorraine,whowasrushing
towardher.

"I'mallright."

Hemovedcloser,hiswholelookoneofabjectapology,"I'msorry.Ididn'tmeantohurtyou."

"Youdidn't.Icollidedwithyou,that'sall."Shelethimfindherhandandclaspitwarmly.Surgesof
purepleasureshotupherarmathistouch."I'mreallyfine."

Hedrewinasteadyingbreath."Comedowntothehospitalwithus,willyou?"heasked."Ineedyou."

Nothreewordshadeversoundedquitesosweettoher."OfcourseIwill,"shesaid."I'llbehereas
longasyouneedme."

Lorrainewenttogethercarkeys,lookingoddlyrelieved.

Thenextfewhoursseemedtodragonforever,andDanafeltcoldfeareatingawayatherasGannon
wentthroughtestaftertestLorrainepacedandmutteredandlookedincreasinglymoreconcerned.

FinallytheywerecalledintoDr.Shane'soffice,wheretherotundlittlephysicianstatedtheevidenceof
thetestsbluntlyandwithoutpullinghispunches.

"It's shrapnel," he said quietly, watching Gannon start. "Apparently from the accident—a tiny sliver
thatlodgeditselfinthebrain,affectingtheopticnerve."

"Canyouoperate?"Gannonaskedcurtly.

"No."

Dana's eyes closed, hurting for him, because now it was permanent and now he knew it She was
alreadygoingoveritinhermindbeforeDr.Shanecontinued,havingseenthattypeofinjuryinwar

patients.

"Theonlychanceyouhavetoregainyoursight,"thedoctortoldGannon,"isiftheshrapnelshould
shiftagain.

Anditisn'tcompletelyimpossible,youknow.Asneezeisviolentenoughtodislodgeit,althoughit
isn'tlikelyto.I'mafraidthat'sallthehopeIcangiveyou.Ifweweretotrytooperate,wecoulddo
irreparabledamagetoyourbrain.It'sfartoodelicateandtoogreatarisk.I'mverysorryaboutthe
mixup in the X rays, Gannon, but it would have made no difference if it hadn't happened. The
conditionisinoperable,"

Gannon stood up quietly and held out his hand, shaking the doctor's. "Thank you for being honest
withme.Asyousee,"headdedironically,"Iwasrightallalong."

"Fortunatelyyouhaveanursetohelpyoucope,"Dr.Shaneremindedhim,"andacomputercompany
toprovideyouwithexcellentassistanceinthosenewtechniquesthathelptheblindcommunicatewith
theoutsideworld.

You'lldowell."

"Yes,"Gannonsaid."I'lldowell."

He was putting on a great front. He looked like a man without a care in the world, but Dana didn't
believeit,andneitherdidLorraine.

"Staywithhim,"shepleaded,drawingDanaasidewhentheygotbacktothebeachhouse."I'mafraid
forhim.

He'stakingitfartoocalmlytosuitme,andyou'retheonlypersonhe'sgoingtoallowverycloseto
him,"

"I'lltakecareofhim,"Danapromised.ShetouchedLorraine'sarm."Pleasedon'tworry.I'lltakecare
ofhim."

"Yes,dear,Iknowyouwill."Shesmiledsadly."It'sinyoureyeswheneveryoulookathim.Butdon't
lethimhurtyou,Dana."

"Ihaven'tthatchoiceanymore,"sheadmittedsoftly,smilingbeforesheturnedandwentintothestudy
withhimandclosedthedoor.

"Would you like something to eat?" she asked when he stood out on the balcony, listening to the
wavescrashagainsttheshore.

He shook his head. Behind him his hands were clasped so tightly that they looked white in spite of
theirtan.

"CanIdoanythingforyou?"shepersisted.

Hedrewinadeep,slowbreath."Yes.Comehereandletmeholdyou."

Denyinghimwasthelastthoughtinhermind.Shewenttohimasifshehadnootherfunctioninlife
buttodoandbeanythinghewantedofher.

He found her shoulders and pulled her close, wrapping her against his big, taut body. His body
suddenlyconvulsed,andheburiedhisfaceinthelongstrandsofloosenedhairatherthroat.

"Oh, God, I'm blind," he ground out harshly, and his body shuddered once heavily as the emotions
poured out of him. "Blind! I knew it, I knew...Dana, what will I do? How will I live? I'd rather be
dead...!"

"No!"Shepressedcloser,holdinghim,herhandssoothing,hercheeknuzzlingagainsthim,hervoice
firmandquiet"No,youmustn'ttalkthatway.Youlearnedtocopebefore;youcanagain.Youcanget
usedtoit.I'llhelpyoucope,Iwill.I'llneverleaveyou,Gannon,never,never!"shewhispered.

Herockedheragainsthim,andshefeltsomethingsuspiciouslywetagainstherthroatwherehishot
facewaspressed."Promiseme,"hegroundout."Sweartomethatyouwon'tleavemeunlessIsend
youaway.Promise!"

It sounded very much like an ultimatum, and she was afraid of what he might do if she refused or
arguedwithhim."Yes,Ipromise,"sheagreedsoftly.Hereyesclosedandshesavoredthefeelofhim
againsther,thewarmthofhisbodycomforting,likethecrushofhisbigarms."Ipromise."

Heseemedtoslumpinrelief,andhisfingersagainstherbacksoothed,idlycaressing."Itwasablow,"
he confessed softly. "I had expected... I had expected them to find something operable, you see. I
wantedamiracle."

"Miracleshappeneverydaywhenpeoplestillbelieveinthem,"sheremindedhim."You'restillalive;
isn'tthatamiracleinitself?You'rebigandhealthyandyouhaveeverythingintheworldtolivefor."

"Everythingexceptmysight,"hesaidshortly.

"I'llremindyouthattherearemanypeopleintheworldwithoutsightwhohaveaccomplishedquitea
lotdespiteit,"shesaid."Singers,artists,musicians,scientists...nothingisahandicapunlessyouforce
ittobe.Youcanaccomplishanythingyouwantto."

"Evenmarriage?"hescoffed,liftinghishead."Afamily?"

"Thataswell."

"Andwhowouldmarrytheblindman.Nurse?You?"helaughed,andhissmilewascruel;hishands
onherarmsbitinpainfully."Wouldyoumarryablindman?"

"Yes,"shesaidwithherwholeheart,lovingeverylineofhisface,oblivioustowhatwashappening,

eventothewordsthemselvesasshedrownedinthejoyofbeingnearhim.

Heblinked,andthehardnessdrainedoutofhisface."Youwould...marryme,Dana?"hewhispered.

"Anywoman..."

"You,"hecorrectedcurtly.Heshookhergently."Wouldyoumanyme,blind?"

"Gannon,ifit'sarhetoricalquestion..."shebeganunsteadily.

"Willyoumarryme,Dana?"hepersisted,makingeachwordclearandstrong.Hisfacehardened."No
moreredherrings;justanswerme,willyou?"

"Butdobesensible;wedon'tloveeachother,"shepleaded.

"You love me," he corrected, smiling when she stiffened. "Oh, yes, it stands out a mile, even to an
inexperiencedman,andI'mnotthat.Iknowhowyoufeel.Yousoundandsmellandfeellikeawoman
inlove,andwhenItouchyouthisway,youmeltagainstme.Professionalcompassion?No,Dana,it
isn'tthat.Nowisit?"

Sheswallowed,herlipsparting."It's...infatuation,"shewhispered."You'resoalienfromanymanI've
everknown,andIknownothingofmen.Isitsurprising?"

Heshookhishead."Notatall,butI'mgoingtotakeshamelessadvantageofit.Marryme,Dana.Ican't
promise you undying love, but I'll take care of you; I'll be good to you. And all you have to do in
returnisleadmearoundandkeepmefromblowingoutmybrains...."

"Stopit!"Shepressedherhandfranticallyagainsthiswarm,hardlipsandtrembledwhentheypressed
backintoitspalm.

"Wouldyoucarethatmuch?"helaughed."Youdon'tevenwantmymoney,doyou,littleone?Thatin
itselfmakesyouanoddityinmyworld.Takeachance,Dana—sayyes.I'llmakeitgoodforyou,in
everywaythereis."

Shewantedto.Sheneededto.Butitwasn'tpossible,andsheknewthattoo.

"Ican't,"shewhisperedmiserably.

Hestiffened."Whynot?"

"Becausethere'severypossibilitythatsomedayyou'llregainyoursight—thedoctortoldyouasmuch
— and what if you did and found yourself tied to someone like me?" she ground out. "You'd be
ashamed—"

He stopped the tirade with his lips. She went taut under the hard, demanding pressure, feeling
somethingunleashedinhimthathadbeencarefullycontrolledupuntilnow.Shepushedagainsthis
broadchest,buthewouldn'trelent,notaninch.

"Ashamed of you?" he growled at her lips. "Never! Now, stop talking nonsense and kiss me back.
We'regoingtobehusbandandwife,soyou'dbetterlearntolikethiswithme.We'regoingtodoquite
alotofitthroughtheyearsahead.Comeon,don'tturnaway.Kissme."

"Iwon'tmarryyou,Iwon't,"sheprotested.

"Then we'll be engaged until I can make you change your mind," he murmured, brushing his lips
maddeninglyoverhers,feelingthehelplesstremblingofhermouthatthenewnessofthecaress.His
hands dropped to her waist and brought her gently against him. "Just engaged," he whispered. "All
right,butterfly?Iwon'tevenrushyoutothealtar.JustagreetothatmuchandI'llstoptalkingabout
leapingontotherocks...."

Sheshudderedatthethoughtofhisbodybruisedandbrokenbythosehugeboulders."Gannon..."

"Sayyes,"hewhispered.Hismouthbitathers—warm,slowkissesthatdruggedher,thatdrainedher
ofprotest.

Shereacheduptoholdhiswarmfacebetweenherhands,givingintoapleasureshe'dneverknown."I
shouldn't,"shetoldhim.

"Butyou'regoingto,"hemurmured,smiling."Sweetlittlemouth,ittastesofhoney,didyouknow?
Now,stoptalkingandkissmebetter.I'vehadaterriblemorning.Makeitbetterforme,can'tyou?"

Shewantedtosayno,shewantedtoignoretheproposal,shewantedtorun.Butsheheardherown
breathlessvoiceagreeingwithhim,feltherbodyliftingagainstthecrushofhisarms,feltherselfgo
underinamazeofsweetmagicashekissedherlongandtenderly.AndthenLorrainewassuddenlyin
the room, offering congratulations, and it was too late to protest, to take it back. Before she could
openhermouthtodenyit,shewasdrinkingchampagneasGannonvanderVere'snewfiancee.

ChapterSeven

OnceGannondecidedtocomeoutofhisshellandcopewiththerealityofhisblindness,heseemedto
changeovernight.Hecalledinoneofhiscomputerexpertsandtheylockedthemselvesawayinhis
studyforthebetterpartofaday.Whenthecallerleft,Gannonwasgrinningfromeartoear.

"I'dlovetoknowwhat'sgoingon,"Danaventuredasshejoinedhim,closingthedoorgentlybehind
her.

"Progress,"hesaid.Heliftedhishead."Whereareyou?Comehere."

Shewenttohimasnaturallyasifshewerewalkingintoaroom,feelinghisbigarmdrawhercloseto
hissidewithwonder.

"Didithappen?"heasked,hisvoicemirroringthesameuncertaintyshefelt."Didyoureallyagreeto
marryme?"

Shesighedandleanedherheadagainsthisshoulder."Iwasoutofmymind,"sheconfessed."Ishould
havesaidno.You'llregretit..."

"Never!"Heturnedherintohisarmsandstoodholdinghertightly,hisbreathwarmandsoftather
ear.

"Never,notaslongasIlive.We'llhaveagoodlifetogether."Hefoundherchinandliftedit."Dana,
youmeantit?Youdoloveme?"

Sheswallowed.Wherewasherpride,hercaution?He'dasmuchasadmittedthathedidn'tloveher,
thatallhecouldofferherwascompanionship.

"Yes," she said anyway, studying the lines and angles of his face with soft, loving eyes. "Oh, yes, I
meantit,Gannon."

His chiseled lips parted on a heavy breath and he seemed troubled. His hands moved up to her soft
armsandstrokedthemidly."IfeelasifI'mcheatingyou,"heconfessed."Perhaps...perhapsweshould
callitoff—now,whilethere'sstilltime."

Sheunderstood.Hewastellingherthathecouldneverloveher.Butshewaswillingtosettleforwhat
he could give; even the crumbs of his affection would be more than she'd ever had in her young,
lonelylife.

"I'm willing to take the chance—if you are," she said after a minute, and the strangest expression
crossedhishardfeatures.

"I'lltakecareofyou,"hetoldher."Thatmaysoundridiculous,comingfromablindman.Butifyou
trustmewithyourfuture,I'lldoeverythinginmypowertoseethatyoudon'tregretit."

Shesmiled.Hesitantly,shyly,shereacheduptotouchhisface,herfingerscoolandtremblingwhere
theybrushedagainsthischeek.

He flinched, and she started to tug her hand back, but he caught it and pressed it firmly against the
warm,slightlyabrasivefleshofhisface.

"No,don'tdrawback,Dana,"hesaidonawhisper."Youstartledme,that'sall.Iliketobetouchedby
you."

"Yourfaceisrough,"shemurmured,studyingit."Youhavetoshavetwiceaday,don'tyou?"

Henodded,smiling."You'lldiscoverafterwe'remarriedthatIfeellikeabearearlyinthemorning."

Sheblushedtotherootsofherhair,andherbreathcaught.Heheardit,laughingdelightedly.

"Oh, bright spirit," he breathed. "What did I do in my life to deserve something as untouched and
untarnishedasyou?"

Shefelttearswarmhereyesattheunexpectedwords."I'monlyawoman,"sheremindedhim.

Heshookhishead,andhiseyessoughtthesoundofhervoice.Theyweredarkwithemotion,narrow,
asifhe'dhavegivenanythingatthatmomenttobeabletoseeher.

"No,you'resomethingcompletelyoutofmyexperience,"hecorrected."Thewomeninmylifehave
beenhardandjaded.Ineverrealizedthatfactuntilwemet.Ithinkyou'vespoiledme,Dana.Ididn't
knowtherewerepeoplelikeyouleftintheworld.Godknows,myworldwasn'tpeopledwiththem."

"Yourworldsoundedverysuperficialtome,"shesaidquietly."Asifpeoplewalkedaroundwithout
reallyfeelingdeeply,orthinkingdeeply,orparticipatinginlife."

"That was so." His hands moved up her arms to find her face and cup it. "I had nothing and never
knewit.Youmakemydarknessbearable,purposeful.Ibegintounderstandwhatyousaidtomeatthe
beginningaboutalifeofservice."

"Youdo?"shewhispered.

"Thatmanwhojustleft?Hewasmycomputerexpert.Wearebeginningresearchonaunitthatwill
outperform our present equipment designed to assist the blind. It will be a unit that can convert the
printed word into sound—that can read text to an unsighted person." He grinned delightedly. "The
firstofmanyinnovations,Iexpect.IthinkthatIhaveneverfeltsuchpleasureasIfeelatthismoment,
notonlybecausesuchadevicewillassistme,butbecauseitwillassistsomanyotherslikeme."

She burst into tears. She couldn't help it. Such a statement, coming from the hard, cold man of her
earlydaysthere,broughtsuchjoythatshecouldn'tcontainit.

"Dana,"hewhispered,drawinghergentlycloser,rockingher."Doesn'titpleaseyoutohavereformed

me?"

She could hardly speak at all, she was so choked up. "Oh, yes, it pleases me," she said fervently.
"Gannon,whatabeautifulthingtodo!"

"Contamination,"hewhisperedwickedly."Beingaroundyouismakingacivilizedmanofme.How
doyoulikethat?"

"Ilikeitverymuch,"shereplied,pressingcloser.

"SodoI,"hemurmured.Hishandssmootheddownhertumbledhair."Itis,atleast,abeginning.For
now,Pratthasleftmeadevicethatwemarketedlastyear.Come,I'llshowyouhowitworks."

She dabbed at her red eyes, following him to the desk, where a computer was sitting, along with a
printer.

He sat down in front of the machine, booted up the system and fed a disk into it. Immediately, a
mechanicalvoicebeganreadingtohimwhatwasobviouslyamarketingreport.Heleanedbackinhis
chair,grinninginherdirection.

"Whatdoyouthink?"heasked,interruptingtheprogramwithalighttouchonthekeyboard."Itgives
meaccesstoanycompanyinformationImightneed,atthetouchofafinger.Eventhediskshavebeen
codedwithraisedletterssothatIcanchoosethoseIneed.Thisterminal"—hetappedit—"isconnected
to the main computer at my office. With it I can access any information I need to send information
back. Memos, letters and such. I can even contact other computers with the serial interface and a
telephonemodem."

"Sciencefiction,"shewhispered,awed.

"Thetipoftheiceberg,"hereturned."Thecomputerrevolutionhasdonemoreforthevisuallyand
au-dially impaired than anything else to date. And this is the bare beginning. Within ten years the
entireindustryasweknowitwillbesoimprovedthatthismachinewillseemobsolete."

"ButIthoughtyourcompanyspecializedinelectronicequipment?"shemurmured,standingclose.

"Itdid.Nowit'sgoingtospecialiseinsensoryaiddevicesfortheblindanddeaf,"hesaidfirmly."And
the first order of business is going to be finding ways to cut costs and make that equipment easily
affordableforthepeoplewhoneedit."

"Oh,Gannon,"shewhispered,choking.

Come here, waterspout," he chuckled softly, drawing her down into his strong arms. "Don't cry all
overme—

you'llshort-circuitmycomputer."

"I'lltry,"shepromised,cuddlingclose."Gannon,you'reaniceman."

"IsupposeIcangetusedtobeingcalledthat,"hesighed."Butbearwithme,it'sverynew."

"Yes,"sheagreed,laughingsoftlyatthenewnessofbeinginhisarms."Itis."

"HowaboutgettingmeacupofcoffeewhileIgothroughthisreport?"heasked."AsmuchasIhate
havingyououtofmyarmsforthatlong..."

"I'll be right back," she promised, getting to her feet. She left him with the computer and walked
dreamilyintothekitchentogethiscoffee.

Apparently his good humor even extended to Dirk, because later that week he invited his brother
downtohelphimworkoutsomedetailsonthenewsensoryequipment.Danatooktheopportunityto
gointotownandshop,withLorraine'sguidance,forherweddingdress.

Dana's eye was caught by a striking brunette who was going through the boutique's collection of
eveninggowns,andshenoticedLorrainesuddenlystiffening.

"LaynDalmont!"theolderwomangasped.

Asifthetinysoundcaughtherattention,thewillowybrunetteturned,herdarkeyesflashingasthey
recognizedGannon'sstepmother.Shesmiled,herattentionshiftingindifferentlytoDana.

"Well,well,lookwho'shere!"Laynlaughed,abandoningthedressestofloattowardthem,avisionin
redchiffon.

"Hello,Layn,"Lorrainesaidtautly.

"Hello, Lorraine. And who's this? The little fiancee I've heard about?" she added, giving Dana an
amusedscrutiny."HowfortunateforGannonthathe'sblind,honey,orhewouldn'tgiveyouthetime
ofday."

It was what Dana knew already, but it stung to hear it put into words. She lifted her small face and
smiledback.

"Hownicetomeetyou,Layn,"shesaidquietly."I'veheardallaboutyou."

Theotherwomanstarted,asifshehadn'texpectedsuchapolitereply,butshesaidnothinginreturn.

"Howhaveyoubeen,Layn?"Lorraineasked,alsopolitely.

"Bored,darling"wasthecurtreply."LifewithoutGannonisverydull.Howishe,bytheway?Still
mourningme?"

"Hardly,whenhe'sabouttobemarried,"theelderlywomansaidwithsweetvenom.

"Ontherebound,nodoubt,"thewillowybrunettesaid,withacoldsmileatDana.

"You'rewelcometocometotheceremony,"Danainvited,smilingback."AnyfriendofGannon's,as
thesayinggoes..."

Laynclearedherthroat."Ihaveothercommitments.I'llbesuretosendyouaweddingpresent."Her
coldeyeswenttoDana'scheek."Perhapssomeveils...?"Sheturnedandstrodeaway,leavingLorraine
gasping.

"Oh,thatwoman!"Gannon'sstepmotherburstout."Howcruel!"

"Howtrue,"Danacorrected,unruffled."Please,don'tletitupsetyou.Shemaybetroubledbyherown
conscience,andIcantakecareofmyself,youknow."

Lorrainevisiblyrelaxed."Yes,I'venoticedthat.EvenGannondoesn'tgetthebestofyou,mydear."
Shelaughed."ItwasdelightfultoseethatLayndidn'teither."

"IseewhatDirkmeant,though.Shedoesremindmeofabarracuda,"sheaddedunkindly,withasmall
laugh.

"We'dbettergethome.Icanshopfordressesanotherday,whenthevibrationsarealittlelesshostile.
Allright?"

"Ifyoulike,Dana.I'msorryLaynspoiledthisforyou."

She shrugged. "I let her spoil it. Anyway, we haven't even set a date for the wedding yet, so it's no
loss."

Astheydrovehome,though,thatrealizationbegantobotherher.Gannonhadn'tlikedtotalkabout
actualdates,asifhewerereluctanttosetone.Perhapshewasnomoresureofsuccessthanshewas.
Perhaps he really did miss Layn and regretted proposing to Dana. Layn was right about one thing:
sighted,he'dneverhavepreferredhisplainlittlenursetotheotherwoman.

Shesteeredawayfromthestudywhentheygothomeandsoughtthesolaceofthebeachinstead.Her
mindwastroubled.Gannonhadseemedtobroodagreatdeal.Latelyshehadn'tbeentooconcerned
aboutthatuntilthatday—untilshe'dseenLayn.Butwhatifhewasregrettinghishastyproposal?What
if he'd only been searching for a way to keep Dana with him, and marriage was the only way he'd
found?

Hedidn'tactlikeamaninlove;he'dadmittedthathewasn't.He'dtoldherthathehadnothingtooffer
except companionship, affection. Would that be enough to last them all their lives? What if he
regainedhissight?Howwouldhereacttobeingtiedtoawomanwhopaledwhencomparedtohis
beautifulLayn?

She stood watching the waves crash onto the beach and she knew all at once that she couldn't go
throughwithit.

Shecouldn'tmarryhim.Buthowwasshegoingtogobackintohisstudyandtellhim?

She'dhavetoleave.Therewasnochoiceaboutthat.She'dhavetogobacktoAshtonandfindajob.
She'dhavetofaceherrelatives....

Oddlyenough,thegriefoverhermother'sdeathwassubsidinginthewakeofherproblemsherewith
Gannon.

Shestillfeltanache,acoldplacedeepinsidethatheldlossandgrief.Butitwasallbeginningtofall
intoplace.

She was coming to grips with her own guilt, with the blame she'd transferred to her father, to the
overreactiontoheraunt'stactlessremark.Sheseemedtohavegonealittlemadaftertheaccidentand
was just now putting the pieces of her mind back together. Going home was no longer the terror it
hadbeen.

But still there was the problem of Gannon, the unwanted task ahead of explaining to him why she
couldn't go through with the wedding. And along with it was the prospect of living her whole life
without him. She closed her eyes, burning up with the love she felt for the big, bad-tempered man.
She'd never felt so secure and safe in her life as she had with him, needing nothing more than his
company, the pleasure of looking at him, holding his hand. Living without him was going to be
almostasbadaslosinghermother.Howwasshegoingtobearit?

Andmostofall,howwasshegoingtotellhim?

She heard her name being bellowed from the steps that led to the beach from the house, and she
smiledatthefamiliarvoicethatwasaudibleabovethecrashingsurf.

Barefoot, she joined him, her hair loose, and as she caught sight of his calm, relaxed face all her
goodintentionsdesertedher.Lettomorrowtakecareofitself,shedecided.Itwould,andGodwould
guidehersteps.Healwayshad,afterall.

"Dana!"

"I'mhere,"shesaid,movingclose."Iwasjustwalking."

Hesmiled."Walkwithme,then.I'vehadallIcantakeofbusinessforoneday."Heheldouthishand,
andshetookit,feelingsecureandwarmalloveratjusthistouch.

"Ithoughtyouweregoingtocatchuponallthelooseends,"shemurmured.

Hechuckled,arelaxedsoundthatpleasedherears,"Ihadgoodintentions.Thedrawbacktotheaudio
devicesarethattheywearyouout.Asightedpersoncanlookbackoverapageoffigures,butIhadto
doitbylistening.

Itgetsveryrepetitious."

"Thenewdevicesarejustthesame,aren'tthey?"sheasked.

"Theyare.It'soneofthedrawbacks.Butit'sthebestthingwehave,todate."

"That new aid you mentioned, the one that reads printed material—was it your company that
developedit?"sheasked.

"Wewereoneofseveralcompaniestohituponthetechnologytogether,althoughweweren'tthefirst
to produce and market it," he told her. He grinned. "What is it they say, Dana, about great minds
runninginthesamedirection?"

Shelaughedwithhim,leaningcompanionablyagainsthisarmastheywalked.Hewassotremendous,
sogoodtoleanagainst,todependon.

"Didyoufindyourweddinggown?"heaskedafteraminute.

Thequestionbroughtbackunpleasantmemories."Notyet,"shesaidquietly."I'llgoandlooksome
moreanotherday."

He scowled in her direction. "What happened?" he asked curtly, immediately certain that something
waswrong.

"Comeon,don'thedge.Whathappened?"

"We...wesawLaynDalmontattheshop,"shesaidafteraminute.

Hestiffened,asifhe'dbeenslapped."Didyou?"

His own posture betrayed him, and she turned away to stick her hands in the pockets of her jeans
whileshewatchedtheocean."She'sverylovely,"shesaid.

"Yes,sheis."Hisheadwascockedtooneside,hisarmsfoldedacrosshismassivechest."Whatdid
shesaytoyou?"

"Verylittle,"sherepliedhonestly."Mostlythatshewasboredtodeathwithoutyou."

Hesmiledfaintly."I'mnotsurprised.Ispentalotofmoneykeepingherhappy."

Her eyes' closed, and she was glad that he couldn't see her face. "Lorraine told her that we were
gettingmarried."

Thatbroughthisheadupattentively."Didshe?Whatdidshesay?"

Danalaughed."Shesaidshe'dbuyusaweddingpresent,"shesaid,withoutmentioningthecruelway
theotherwomanhadputit.

"Thatdoesn'tsoundliketheLaynIknow,"hemurmured.Hiseyessearchedforher."Whereareyou?"

"Here,"shesaid,movingclosertohim.

Hecaughtherbythewaistanddrewhertohim."Didshebotheryou?Iforgethowunworldlyyouare.
Layncanbedangerous."

"Icantakecareofmyself,"sheremindedhim.Hereyesstudiedhisdarkface.Washeregrettingitall?
WashemourningforLayn?

"That'sgoingtobemypleasurefromnowon."Hesuddenlyliftedherclearoffthegroundsothather
eyeswereonalevelwithhissightlessones."Kissme,Dana."

Withoutthinking,sheleanedforwardandpressedhermouthverysoftlyagainsthis.Helethertake
theinitiative,standingquietlywhileshesavoredthecoolfirmnessofhislipsagainstherown.

"You'reverycool,darling,"hewhisperedsoftly."Madatme?"

Herheartjumpedattheendearmentaswellasthequestion."No,ofcoursenot,"sheassuredhim.

"Thenkissmeasifyoumeanit,Dana,"hesaid,"notasifyou'redoinganunpleasantduty.Unless..."
Hefrowned,"...unlessitreallyisunpleasant?"

"Sillyman,"shewhisperedadoringly.Shekissedhimagain,harderthistime,lingeringoverhisfirm
mouthuntilshefeltthetensiondrainoutofhim,feltthewarmresponseofhislips,thegentlehunger
ofhisenclosingarms.

"Better?"sheteasedgently,clingingtohim.

"Much better," he murmured, nibbing noses. "But that's enough of that," he added with a hard sigh,
settingherfirmlybackonherfeet."I'mnosaint"

Shesmiled."You'redoingverywellforamanwhoisn't."

"Yes, aren't I?" he growled. He found her hand and held it warmly as they started walking again.
"Dana, you do realize that things will be...different...when we're man and wife? I won't have a
marriageofconvenienceatmyage."

"I understand," she agreed. "I don't want an artificial marriage, either. I...I'd like to have children."
Daydreams.

Wonderfuldaydreams.Shewasrefusingtofacefactsandsheknewit,butwasn'tsheallowedtodream
justalittle?

Hishandcontractedpainfully."Children,"hewhispered."Ihadn'tthoughtofthat."

"Don'tyouwantason?"sheteased."Ithoughtmostmendid."

"Of course I do," he growled, jerking her close to his side. "It's just that I hadn't expected...my wife

didn'twantthem—didLorrainetellyou?Shedidn'twanttheinconvenience."

Shesmiled."PerhapsifIwerebeautifulandgayandworldly...."

"No,"hereturned."IthinkIknowyouquitewellbynow.No,itwouldn'tmatter.You'dhaveyourown
andadozenorphansbesides,wouldn'tyou,andnevercountthecost.You'dlovethewholeworldifit
wouldletyou."

"Youmakemesoundsaintly,andI'mnot,"shecountered."I'monly—"

"—awoman,"hefinishedforher."Yes,Iknow.Butwhatawoman!"headded,bendingtobrushhis
lipsoverherforehead."Noregrets?WillyoubesorrythatIcan'tseeourchildren?"

Herheartstampededatthesoundofthat.Ourchildren.Shesmiled."No,"shewhispered."I'lldescribe
themtoyouinminutedetail.Youwon'tmissathing."

Hisjawtautened.Hestopped,draggingherintohisarms,andkissedhersuddenly,hungrily,shocking
herintoawildresponseofherown.

He released her all at once and moved away. "I'm sorry," he said curtly. "It was thinking about
children....We'dbettergobackin.Ifeelodd."

"Areyouallright?"sheaskedquickly,fullofconcern.

"Justmyhead.Dana,theheadachesaresomuchworselately,"hesaidpensivelyastheyturnedback
towardthehouse."I'mtakingmoreandmoremedication,hadn'tyounoticed?"

Shehad,butshewastryingnottoshowtoomuchconcern."We'dbettercallDr.Shane,justtoplayit
safe, don't you think?" she asked calmly. "It's probably just the hours you've been putting in lately.
Morestress.It'sperfectlynatural."

Heseemedtocalmatherowneasymanner."Yes,that'sprobablywhatitis."

"Butwe'llhavehimcheckyouover.I'llcallfirstthinginthemorning."

Henodded."Now,nomoreaboutdoctors.Let'stalkabouthouses.Wherewouldyouliketolive?"

Theyspenttherestoftheeveningtalkingvaguelyabouthousesandcitiesandholidaysandschools
forthechildrenwhentheycamealong.ButDanadidn'tsleepwell.Theheadachesweren'tnatural,and
Gannonhadtoknowit.Theywereplayingagame,andshewasafraidoftheoutcome.

ThenextmorningshecalledDr.ShaneanddescribedGannon'ssymptoms.Heaskedhertobringin
herfiancethatafternoonandlethimrunsomemoretests.

She drove him to the office and sat in the waiting room while the two of them talked. Gannon
reappeared,taciturnandirritable,directinghertothehospital,wherehewastobeadmittedovernight
whileDr.Shanehadthetestsperformed.Danawasconcernedaboutthat,andshehadasuspicionthat

somethingwaswrong.ButDr.

Shanewouldn'ttalktoher,andneitherwouldGannon,sinceshewasnowinthepositionofafiancee,
notanurse.

Lorrainepacedwithher,worriedwithher.ButwhenthetestresultswereinandGannonwasreleased
fromthehospital,hetoldnoonewhathadbeenfound.IndesperationDanacalledDr.Shane,onlyto
be told that what he'd found was privileged information, but that she needn't worry, he was certain
everythingwouldbefine.

SheapproachedGannon,buthewasn'ttalking.Heonlysmiledandkissedherandtoldherthatthere
wasachance,justaslightone,thathissightmightcomeback.Andthensheknewwhatwaswrong
withhim.Hewasgoingtoseeagain—buthedidn'twanttobesaddledwithherwhenithappened.He
wantedLayn,andnowtherewasachancehecouldgetherback.ButonlyifDanawasoutoftheway.

SheimpartedthatinformationtoLorraine,wholaughedather.

"You're being ridiculous, dear," she chided. "He wouldn't want Layn now; not after the way she
Createdhim.

Don'tbesilly.Helovesyou!"

But he didn't. He'd already admitted it. And now Dana was worried, terribly worried. How was she
goingtosurviveifhesentheraway?Shelovedhimsomuch,howwasshegoingtoletgo?

ChapterEight

Dirkcamedownforthenextweekend,andGannonwelcomedhimwithunusualfervor.

"I'm glad you came," he said, thumping his brother on the back. "You can keep Dana and Lorraine
companywhileIworkonthevisualaidwithAlPratt.Heshouldbehereanyminute."

"Shameonyou,"Dirkchided."Anewlyengagedman..."

Gannonlookedbrieflyuncomfortable,bearingoutDana'ssuspicionsthathehatedbeingengagedto
her, newly or not. "I know, but time is money where this new device is concerned. We've got some
innovative ideas we want to work up before somebody beats us to the punch. Oh, and I've invited a
guestforSundaydinner,Lorraine,"headded.

"AnyoneIknow,dear?"Lorraineaskedwithoutlookingupfromherneedlepoint.

"Yes.Layn."

Therewasasilenceintheroomsoutterlysuddenthatthesoundofthewoman'snameseemedtoecho
endlessly.

Danaclosedhereyes,feelingherheartshatter.Itwastrue.Nowsheknewitwastrue.

"In that case," Dirk said quietly, "I think Dana and I will drive down to Savannah for the day on
Sunday."

Gannonstartedtospeak,stoppedandsmiledfaintly."Perhapsthatwouldbejustaswell.Youmight
takeLorrainewithyou.Andyoumightstopsoundingsosuspiciouswhileyou'reaboutit,"headded,
theDutchaccentemphasizingitself."It'sbusiness.LaynandIhaveinvestmentstogetherinashipping
company. We're going to discuss stock and expansion. That's all. I haven't forgotten my own
engagement."

"I'msorelievedtohearit,"Dirksaidcurtly."Ifitisanengagement."

Gannonblinked."Ibegyourpardon?"

"Danaisn'twearingaring,"heobserved,"andIhaven'theardanymentionofaweddingdate."

Gannoncoughed."Therehasn'tbeentime.I'vebeenbusy."

"Sure," Dirk said shortly. He jammed his hands into his pockets. "Dana, care to go for a walk with
me?Pratt'sjustdrivenup,andIknowGannonwillhaveotherthingsonhismind."

"Ofcourse,"shesaidinaghostlytone."Lorraine,wouldyouliketocomewithusSunday?Maybewe
couldgobacktoseeKatyandMaude?"

"I'dlikethat,"Lorrainesaid,strugglingforcomposure.

Whiletheydiscussedtimesandplans,PrattcameintojoinGannon,andthetwoofthemvanishedinto
thestudybehindthecloseddoor.

DirkwasoutspokenabouttheSundaydinnerandangrierthanDanahadseenhimsincetheybecame
acquainted.

"Laynhere,"hegrowled."Andwhenhe'sengagedtoyou!Hemightconsideryourfeelings.Lorraine
toldmewhatshesaidtoyouintown!"

"Hedoesn'tknowwhatshesaid,"shetoldhimquietly."Ididn'tthinkitwasnecessarytotellhim.Ican
handleLaynmyself."

"So you think," he returned darkly. "She'd cut you into ribbons, and you know it. She's been after
Gannonforalongtime,despitethefactthatsheranaftertheaccident.I'vealwaysthoughtitwasas
muchbecauseshethoughthe'dblameherasbecauseshedidn'twanttobearoundablindman."

"Didheloveherverymuch?"sheasked.

"Idon'tknowmybrotherthatwell.He'sverygoodatdisguisinghisfeelings."Heshrugged."Butthey
weretogethermostofthetimeuntilhewasblinded."

She felt sick all over. And now it was starting again: she was going to lose him. And there was
nothingshecoulddo.Shedidn'thavetheweaponstofightawomanlikeLayn.

"Maybeitreallyisbusiness,"shesaidsoftly.

"Maybe cows will run computers," he scoffed. "Don't kid yourself, honey; they don't need to meet
hereonaSundaytodosomethingtheycouldmanageoverthephone."

Tearssprungtohereyes,butsheblinkedthemaway,tooproudtolethimseehowhurtshewas.

"I'msorry,"hesaidquietly."Ishouldn'thavesaidthat.Itcouldbeinnocent..."

"Youdon'thavetotellmesomethingIalreadyknow,"shesaidsoftly."Hedoesn'tloveme;hesaidas
much."

"Butyoulovehimverymuch."

Shenodded."Fortunesofwar,"shelaughedbitterly.

"Thefirsttimeinmylife,andithadtobemanlikeGannon....IfonlyIwerebeautifulandworldlyand
sophisticated!"

"Youwouldn'tbethegirlyouare,"hecorrected."Ilikeyouasyouare.Sodoeshe."

"Like,"sheagreed."Notlove.Anditwouldn'tbeenough,eventually.It'sjustaswell.I'llbesadfora
while,butI'llgetoverhim."

"Willyoureally?"heasked,eyeingher.

Sheturnedaway."Let'sgolookforsandcrabs.Theyfascinateme,thewaytheydiveintothesandto
hide.

Look,there'sone...!"

He watched her with sad eyes, wishing there was something he could do to ease the pain she was
tryingtohide.

Buthewasashelplessasshewas.

Danahadbeenhopingthattheotherwomanwouldn'tshowupuntilaftersheandDirkandLorraine
had left the house on Sunday. But as luck would have it, Layn was on the doorstep before Lorraine
hadfinisheddressing.

"Well,hello,darling,"shetoldDirkasheansweredthedoor.Shewasresplendentinasea-bluedress
withwhiteaccessoriesandamatchingscarftiedoverherhair,lookingthefashionplateshewas.

Layn'seyesdartedpasthimtoDana,andshegavetheothergirl'ssimplewhitesundressandsandalsa
distastefullyquickappraisal.

"I'mnottooearly?"Laynmurmured.

"Of course not, darling," Dirk replied with sweet sarcasm. "Gannon's waiting for you in his study.
TherestofusareofftoSavannahfortheday."

Laynlookedfaintlyshocked."LeavingpoorGannonallalonewithme?"

"Wecouldloadagunforhimbeforeweleave,"Dirksuggested.

Laynonlylaughed."Youmightloadoneforrne,"shemurmured,glancingatDana."Sincehe'sbeen
keepingcompanywiththelittlesaint,hemaybedesperateforsomewickedcompany."

Dana'seyebrowslifted."Thinkso?I'llhavetoremembertopolishmyhalomoreoften."

Laynbecameangrywhenshecouldn'tgetariseoutofDana,thenwhirledonherheelandstalkedoff
intothestudy.

Dirkwastryingtosmotherhislaughterandfailingmiserably."Youwickedlady!"heburstout.

Danaonlyshrugged."Well,sheaskedforit.ShallwewaitforLorraineinthecar?''

ButjustaboutthattimeLorrainecamequicklydownthestairstojointhem,andtheyleftwithouteven

agood-byetoGannon.

Itwasalongday.Dana,despitethefactthatsheenjoyedvisitingKatyandMaude,spentmostofthe
hoursbroodingonwhatwasgoingonbackatthehouse.WasLaynright?Wouldhebesodesperate
forawomanthathe'dmakeadeadsetather?WashetiredofDana'srepressiveways?Washetrying
tofindawayoutoftheengagement?WhyelsewouldhehaveflauntedLaynhifrontofher?

Theystoppedatarestaurantforlunch,andwhileLorrainewascreatingasaladatthesaladbar,Dirk
leanedforwardearnestly.

"Worried?"heaskedsoftly."You'vehardlysmiledallday."

Dana smiled faintly. "Yes, I'm worried. How can I compete with somebody who looks like Miss
Dalmont?"

"Easily,sinceGannoncan'tseeher,"herepliedbrutally.

"That'snotwhatImeantHe'sseenher;he'sneverseenme."Shetoyedwithhernapkin."Besidesthat,
he'snotasaintImustbeadragtohim...."

"He adores you. It's even obvious to someone as thick-skinned as myself." He reached over and
touchedherhand.''Comeon,spillit."

Sheliftedhershoulders."Ithinkhe'stryingtomakemeleave."

Hefrowned."Why?"

"It'snotsomethingIcanexplain.Buteversincehewentbacktothedoctor,he'sbeendistantwithme.I
can'tgetclosetohim."-Shelookedup,worryshadowinghereyes."Theytoldhimhissightwasvery
likelytoreturn—

something about the shrapnel that they wouldn't tell me. What if he's beginning to see again?" she
groaned.

"ComparedtoLayn,I'msougly—andhelovedher!Nowshe'sbackandhe'saskedhertodinner...."

Hecaughtherhandinhisandhelditgently."You'renotugly.You'realovelywoman,andanyman
wouldbeproudtomarryyou.Evenme,theconfirmedbachelor,ifIthoughtIhadachance."

Sheblinked,notbelievinghim.

"Think I'm kidding?" he mused. "I'm not. There's a quality in you that I've never seen in another
woman,andIlikeitverymuch.IfGannondidn'thaveaplaceinyourheart,I'dgivehimarunforhis
money."

Sheblushedsoftlyandloweredhereyesonasmile."Thankyou.Youdon'tknowwhatyou'vedone
formycrushedego."

"Iwasn'tflatteringyou."

"Yes,Iknow."Sheliftedhereyesagain."HewantsLayn,youknow."

Hesighedwearily."Yes."

"Iwon'tholdhimtoapromisehemadeinamomentofweakness.Theminutehissightisrestored,
I'mgoinghometoAshton,"shesaidfirmly.

"Youmightconsiderfightingforhim,"heremindedher.

"Withwhat?"Shelaughed."Idon'thavepotentweapons,andevenifIdid,Iwouldn'tusethem.I'mnot
thetype.No,he'dhavetoloveme.Andhe'salreadyadmittedthathedoesn't.Itwouldbeaveryempty
kindofrelationship—don'tyouthink?—ifallthelovewasononeside."

Henoddedsolemnly."Isupposeso.Dana,ifyoudogohome,I'dliketoseeyouagain."

Shesmiled."I'dlikethattoo."

Hegrinned."Nowwe'regettingsomewhere.Tellmeaboutyourwork."

They started discussing the advances in medicine when Lorraine joined them, and then the talk
switchedtoflowersandgardensfortherestofthemeal.

Gannonwasalonewhentheyreturnedtothehouse;hewaspreoccupied.HeletDanabringhismeal
andtheysatinacoolsilenceforalongtimewhilehefinisheditandaskedhertopourhimasecond
cupofcoffee.

"Didyouhaveaniceday?"heaskedabsently.

"Oh,itwaslovely.KatyandMaudesendtheirlove."

Helaughedbitterly."JustwhatIneed."

Shepaled,turningherattentiontothecoffeecup."Didyougetyourbusinessstraightenedout?"

Heleanedbackinthechairwiththecupinhishands."Yes.Layn'sverylovely,isn'tshe?"

"Very,"sheagreed.

"Poised,sophisticated...withanexcellentbusinesshead.Thekindofwifeabusinessmancoulddepend
ontohelphimaccomplishhisgoals,"headded;hispointseemedtohavebeenmadedeliberately.He
sippedhiscoffee."Whatwasshewearing?"

"Blue,"shesaid,staringintoherowncup."Seablue."

Hechuckled."Oneofherfavoritecolors.Irememberabathingsuitsheusedtohave,whenItookher
toNassau...."Hisfacecloudedandhestoppedabruptly,swingingforwardinthechair."Canyoutake
dictation?"

heaskedsuddenly."Ineedtowritesomeletters,andI'mnotfastenoughwiththecomputeryet.Can
youtype?"

"Yestoboth,"shesaidagreeably."I'llbegladtohelpyou."

"Yes, I know," he said under his breath, and looked as if he were hurting inside. He leaned back
wearilyinhischairandclosedhiseyes."Itdoesn'thelpthesituation."

Shemovedclosertothedesk,studyinghislinedface."Gannon,isyoursightreturning?"

Hemadeacurtmovement,hissightlesseyesopeningondarkness."What?"

"Areyoubeginningtoseeagain?"shepersisted."Iknowsomething'shappened—Icanfeelit.You're...
you'reverydistantlately."

Helaughedharshly."AmI?AndwhydoyousupposeIam?"

Shestudiedherfeet."Layn'sverybeautiful,"shesaidquietly.

Hesatbreathingsteadily,deliberately."Yes."

"Andyou...youcaredforherbeforeyouwereblinded,"

"That too." He cocked his head, listening. When she didn't say anything more, he seemed to slump.
"Sheblamedherself,youknow,"hesaidfinally."ShewasdrivingthespeedboatIt'stakenherallthis
timetocometogripswithitandrealizethatIdidn'tblameher."

Danadidn'tbelievethatforaminute,butshekeptquiet.Morethanlikely,theknowledgethatGannon's
sightwasreturninghadagreatdealtodowithLayn'ssuddeninterestinhim.

"We'reverydifferent,aren'twe?"sheaskedsoftly."YouandI,Imean.Fromdifferentbackgrounds,
differentworlds."

He was listening intently, his face shuttered. "Yes, we are," he said. "And I hate to say it, Dana, but
when I...regain my sight, that difference is going to become even more apparent. I travel in circles
you'venevertouched,fullofwildlivingandunconventionalpeople."

Shewatchedhimwithaheartthatfeltnearbreaking."And,too,there'sLayn,isn'tthere?"sheprodded.
"Layn,whowouldfitverywell—doesfitverywell—inthatkindofworld?"

Hisfacetautened."Yes."

She lifted her hands to her waist and clasped them there, very tightly. "Gannon, about the

engagement..."

"Nottoday,"hesaidcurtly,asifthewordswerebeingdraggedoutofhim,asifhehadn'tmeanttosay
them.

"We'lldiscussitsomeothertime.Getthatpad,please.Layn'sdrivingmedowntoSavannahtheday
aftertomorrowforameetingaboutthatexpansionImentionedattheshipyard.I'llbegonemostof
theday,andIneedtohavethiscorrespondenceoutofthewaybeforewegetthere."

"Yes,"shesaidquickly.

Sheturnedandalmostranfromtheroom,feelingasifsomethinginsideherhaddied.Hewantedout.
Ifshe'dbeenblindherself,she'dhavesensedittoday,whenhespokesolovinglyofLaynandseemed
tohatetheverythoughtofregaininghissightbecausehewastiedtoawomanheonlyneededbecause
hewasblind.Andwhenhecouldsee,he'donlywantLayn....

BythemorningGannonwasabouttogooffwithLayn,Danawasmorethanreadytohavetheluxury
ofadaywithouthiscompany.Hewastaciturnandcurtandhebegantopickatherashehadinthe
earlydaysoftheiracquaintance.Theengagement,whilestillapparentlyinforce,wasneverreferred
to,andhetreatedherashisnurse,nothiswife-to-be.

"I asked you to get Al Pratt on" the phone half an hour ago," he snarled at her just before Layn
arrived."Haveyoueventried?"

"Yes, I have," she said coldly. "He wasn't in. I am not a miracle worker; I can't produce people at a
second'snotice."

"Youmightbealittlemorediligent,"heaccused.

"Itookmytraininginmedicine,notbusiness,"sheremindedhimcoldly.

"Youhaveasharptongue,"hegrowled.

"Yoursissharper,andyouhavenopatienceanymore,"sheshotback.Shefeltherselfbegintoslump.
"It'sagoodthingyou'regoingout,"shesaidwearily."PerhapsbeingwithMissDalmontwillimprove
yourtemper."

Hisnostrilsflared."Perhapsitwill.Atleastshetriestopleasemeonceinawhile,miss."

SomightI,ifIknewwhatyouwantedofme,shethoughtmiserably.Shemovedawayfromhim,her
nurse'suniformmakingclean,crispsoundsinthesilentroom.She'dstartedwearingitagain,because
it made her feel more comfortable. He was treating her like his nurse, not his fiancee, after all, so
whatdiditmatter?

Hisheadrosesuddenly."What'sthatnoise?"heaskedsharply.

"Sir?"

"Thatrustlingsound...."

"Myuniform,"shesaidcoldly.

Heactuallyseemedtoblanche."Ithoughtyouwerewearingstreetclothesnow."

"Icamehereas,andstillam,yournurse,"sheremindedhimwithdignity."IsitsurprisingthatIfeel
moresecuredressedtofitthepart?"

Hestoodquietly,breathingdeliberately."We'reengaged,"hesaid.

'Shelaughedsoftly,bitterly."No,sir,"shetoldhim."Thatwasabitoffiction.Animpulsive,quickly
regrettedandimpossiblyansweredproposalthatwouldbebestforgottenbybothofus."

"Youdon'twanttomarryme?''heasked,somethingoddinhistone.

"No,sir,Idon't,"shelied,hervoicecarryingaconvictionthatwasnotinherheart."Aswe'vealready
agreed,ourworldsaretoodifferentevertomix.Andwhenyouhaveyoursightagain,thelastthing
you'llwantorneedisascarred,plainlittle..."

"Stopit!"heburstout,whiteintheface.

She caught her breath at the violence in the harsh words, at the expression in his blank eyes. But
beforeshecouldsayawordorquestionhim,therewasaloudknockatthedoor,andshewentquietly
toanswerit.

Layngaveheralazy,coolappraisal."Backinchains,Isee,"shesaidpleasantly,chicinawhitelinen
suitwithapalepinksilkblouse."Where'sGannon?"

"Inhisstudy,ofcourse.He'sexpectingyou,"Danasaidquietly.

"Doshowmein,"cametheamusedreply.

Asifsheneededshowing.ButDanacomplied.Therewasnofightleftinher.

"MissDalmontishere,"DanasaidtoGannon'srigidback.

Heturned,staringtowardthesoundofhervoice."Layn?"

"Right here, darling," she cooed, going to him. She reached up and kissed him, and to Dana's
amazementhisarmswentaroundherandhereturnedthekisswithahungryfervorthatwasfaintly
embarrassing.

"Whatanicegreeting,"Layngaspedwhenheletgo."Justlikeoldtimes!"

"Yousmelldelicious—justlikeoldtimes,"hemurmured."Readytogo?"

"Wheneveryouare."

GannontookLayn'sslenderhandwhileDanastoodandwatchedthem,hurtingallthewaytotheheels
ofhercomfortableshoes.

"Youaren'ttakingyourlittlenurse,Ihope?"Laynasked.

Gannonflusheddarklyandseemedabout,tosaysomething,butstifledit."No,Danaisn'tcomingwith
us,"hesaidinstead.

"Thankgoodness,"Laynmurmuredfervently."Come,Gannon,thecar'sjustoutside.Ihopewewon't
needanumbrella,becauseIdidn'tbringone.It'sgettingverydarkandstormy-lookingout."

"Dana?"Gannonhesitated.

Sheswallowed,fullofhurtprideandrejection."Yes?"

He seemed to flinch. "Don't go out on the beach alone, will you? There are storm warnings out
today."

"Iwon't,"shepromisedquietly.

"IwishIcouldbelieveyou,"hesaidunderhisbreath.

She didn't bother to reply, standing aside as he went out the door with Layn. Dana closed it behind
them,justbeforesheburstintotears.

"You'reveryquietthisafternoon,"Lorraineremarkedjustbeforedinnerthatnightastheysattogether
inthelivingroomwhilethunderandlightningragedoutside."Doesthestormbotheryou?"

Danashookherhead."Notatall."

"Gannon'sgoingoutwithLayndoes,though,doesn'tit?"theolderwomanprobedgently."Oh,Dana,
ifIonlyunderstoodmystepson..."

"It'sallverysimple,"Danatoldher.Shelookedupwithsad,quieteyes."Hewantsmetobreakoffthe
engagement.He'sdoneeverythingbuttossmeoutthewindowtogethispointacross."

"Butwhy?"

"Hissightiscomingback,"shesaid,sureofitnow."HetoldmequitebluntlythatIwouldn'tfitinto
hisworld—

theworldhelivesinwhenhehashissight.Icouldonlybelonginaworldwemadetogether,outof
darkness.

Layn is back and he wants her. And who could blame him?" she added bitterly. "She's perfect, so

sophisticatedandworldly..."

"Soselfishandshallow,"Lorrainecounteredangrily."Yourexactoppositeineveryway.Itisn'tlike
Gannontosuccumbtothatwomanafterthewayshe'streatedhim.He'smuchtooproud.Andhecares
foryou.It'sinthewayhespeakstoyou,thewayhelistensforyourstepandthewayhisfacelightsup
whenyouwalkintoaroom.No,there'ssomethingelse,I'msureofit."

ButDanawasn'tconvinced.Gannon'shungerforLaynhadbeenalltooobviousinthekissshe'dseen
themshare,andhismannerwithDanahadconvincedherthatallhewantednowwastoberidofher.

"Whenhecomesbacktonight,"Danasaidquietly,"I'mgoingtobreakofftheengagement.It'swhathe
wants,andnowit'swhatIwanttoo.IfI'mright,he'llgetbackonhisfeetthatmuchfasterbecausehe
hasLayntolookforwardto."

"Dana,Iwishyou'dwait—justalittlelonger,"Lorrainesaidsoftly.

"There'snopoint.IfhefeltasIdid,itwouldbedifferent.ButIhavenorighttobuildmyhappinesson
hissorrow.Iwon't."

"Youmustlovehimverymuch,mydear,tocaresomuchabouthishappiness."

Dana'seyesclouded."I'llneverloveanyoneelse.NotaslongasIlive.ButIcan'tmarryhim,knowing
howhereallyfeels."

Lorrainelookedasifshewantedbadlytosaysomethingelse,butshesmiledsadlyandwentbackto
herneedlepoint.Therewasnouse.

ChapterNine

Itdidn'thelpDana'salreadydamagedpridewhenGannoncalledanhourlatertotellLorrainethathe
andLaynweregoingtospendthenightinSavannah.

"HesaidLayn'safraidtodrivebackwiththeweathersobad,"Lorrainerelatedirritably."Ifyouwant
myopinion,shejustwantsGannonalltoherself."

"That'sverylikely,"Danasaidwearily."Canyoublameher?"

"For more than you know, I can blame her," the older woman said curtly. "Dirk's coming in the
morning.

Perhapshecanmakesomesenseofallthis.Heavenknows,Ican't!"

ButDanacould.Notthatiteasedthehurt.Itmadeitworse.

Thenightwashorrible.Thethunderandlightningseemedtogoonforever,andDanacouldn'tsleep
foritscrashandroar.Theoceanwasboilingwiththeforceofthestorm,liketheoneraginginside
Dana.

It seemed such a long time since she'd come there from Ashton, full of guilt and grief and despair.
AndwhileshewasstillachingfromGannon'srejection,shefeltthatshe'dbeguntocopeverywell
withherpersonalproblems.Thesharpedgeofgriefwasbeginningtonumb.

Shewent to standat the windowand watched the lightningflash down towardthe water. Death was,
afterall,asnaturalaslightning,astherain.Itwastheroutineprogressionofthings—birth,life,and
death;acyclethateverythinghumanhadtofollow.Andsomewhereinthatnaturalprogressionwas
God's master plan. Even Mandy had had a part in that, and so did her death and the manner of it. It
wasn'tforDanatoquestionwhy.ItwasherparttodoasGoddirected.

She wrapped her arms tightly around her thin nightgown with a ragged sigh. Perhaps her presence
herehadhelpedGannoninsomesmallwaytorethinkhisownlife.Evenifshelosthimforever,she
feltthatshe'dhelpedhimseeasenseofpurposeandmeaninginhisexistence.Andwasn'tthatwortha
fewtears?Afterall,loveinitsidealformwasanunselfishthing.Ifshelovedhim,shehadtowant
whatwasbestforhim,didn'tshe?

AsilentwordtoGod,seekingHisguidance,broughtcomfort.Resolutelyshedriedhereyesandwent
backtobed,andsleptpeacefullyforthefirsttimeindays.

DirkcameinthedoorjustasLorraineandDanaweresittingdowntobreakfast,andslidintoachair
betweenthemtodighungrilyintobaconandeggsandhomemadebiscuits.

"Ididn'trealizehowhungryIwas,"hechuckled,watchingtheiramusedglances."Where'sGannon?
Sleepinglate?"

"He'sinSavannah,"Lorrainesaidtautly."HeandLayndidn'tdrivebacklastnight.Shesaidshewas
afraidoftheweather."

"That'salaugh,"Dirkscoffed."Kidnappedhim,didshe?"

"Lookslikeit,"theolderwomanreplied.SheglancedatDana."Idon'tknowwhat'swrongwithhim
lately;heactsso...strange."

Danaputdownhernapkin."Excuseme,"shesaid."I'mthrough,andIdolovetowalkalongthebeach
earlyinthemorning.Therain'sgone,andit'ssolovely..."sherealizedthatshewasrambling,butshe
tackedonaquicksmileandrushedoutbeforeanyonecouldstopher.

She'donlygottenhalfwaydowntothepierbeforeDirkcaughtupwithher.

"HoldupandI'llstrollalongwithyou,"hesaid."HowarethingswithyouandGannon?"

"Thingsaren't,"shesaidshortly."Ibroketheengagement."

"Youwhat?"

"Ihadto,"sheburstout."Hewashatingeverysecondofit.Layncame,andthewayhekissedher...
Oh,Dirk,helovesher,don'tyouknow?"

Sheburstintotears,andhedrewhergentlyintohisarms,holdingherquietlywhileshegotsomeof
thehurtandpainoutofhersystem.

"I'msorry,"shemuttered."Ican'tseemtostopcryinglately."

"Hereallyisblindifhecan'tfeelhowmuchyoulovehim,"hegrowled.

"He knows I love him. He can't help wanting Layn, can he?" she murmured quietly. She drew away
anddabbedathereyes."IwishIcouldgohome.Facingmykinfolknowisn'tnearlyasanguishingas
havingtolivearoundGannondayafterdayandknowinghewishesIwereinsomeothercountry."

"PoorDana,"hesaidsoftly."IwishtherewassomethingIcoulddotohelp."

Shedrewinasteadyingbreath."Butthereisn't.I'lljusthavetowaititout.Ican'tleavehim,notyet,
notuntilhesendsmeaway."

"Aslongasheneedsyou,isthathowthisgoes?"

Shenodded."Aslongasheneedsme."Shesmiledwanly."Ionlyhopeitwon'tbemuchlonger.Idon't
knowifIcanbearmuchmore."

"Thatmakestwoofus,"hemuttered.

Butshehadhereyesonthehorizon,andhermindwaswithGannon.Wherewashe?Whydidn'the

comehome?

Thedaypassedslowly,andDana'stroubledeyeskeptgoingtothedriveway.Butnocarcame.Bythe
timethecookwasputtingsupperonthetable,Gannonstillhadn'tappeared.

Whenthephonerang,Danarushedtoanswerit.LorrainewasstillupstairsandDirkhadgone,and
therewasnooneelsearound.

"Hello?"shesaidquickly.

"Dana?"

It was Gannon's deep voice, and her knees felt rubbery. She sat down in the chair beside the table.
"Yes.

Gannon,areyouallright?"

Therewasapregnantpause."Yes,"hesaid,hisvoicesoundingstrainedandterse."Asamatteroffact,
Ihavesomeratherexcitingnews,Dana.I'vegotmysightback."

"What!"sheexclaimed,sittingupstraight.

"Wewererushingtogetbacktothehotelintherain,"hesaidquietly,"andItrippedandfell.Theblow
musthavedislodgedtheshrapnel,becauseIcansee."

Tearswererollingdownhercheeksunashamedly."Oh,Gannon,I'msohappyforyou.Sohappy!"

Therewasanotherlongpause,andalong,shudderingsigh."Yes.Well,youdounderstandwhatthat
means?"

Allthejoywashedawayinatorrentofcoldunderstanding.Yes,sheunderstood.Shewasoutofajob.
Sighted,hedidn'tneedheranymore.

She swallowed down another burst of tears. "I understand," she said on a whisper. "You...you won't
needanursenow,willyou?"shelaughed.

"No,"hesaidtersely."Dana...aboutourengagement?"

"Whatengagement?"sheaskedbravely."It'sallright,youdon'thavetopullyourpunches.Weagreed
already that it was a mistake, that...that I wouldn't fit into your world, didn't we? Anyway, Dirk was
here..."

Hisvoicewascolderthanshe'deverhearditbefore."Dirk?Well,well,howveryconvenient.Trying
togethisbidin,ishe?"

"That's unfair," she returned. "Especially when you as much as told me that you didn't want me
anymore!"

There was a long, hot silence on the other end of the line. "Yes, I said that, didn't I?" he asked, his
voiceoddanddeep.

"It'sjustaswell.I...Imissmyhome,"shesaidafteraminute,herlowerliptrembling.Shecontrolledit
withaneffort."It'stimeIwentback,mademypeacewithmypeople."

"Whendidyouplantogo?"heaskedcurtly.

Sheclearedherthroat."I...Ithought...inthemorning."

He sounded relieved. "That would be a good time. I...I plan to stay here with Layn for a few more
days."

Hereyesclosedonapainsosweepingthatshethoughtshemightfalltoherknees."Thenitwillwork
out...verywellforyou,won'tit?She'ssolovely."

Therewasaharsh,muffledsound."Itisn'tbecauseofthewayyoulook!"heburstout."Sweetheaven,
Dana,I'dgiveanythingtomakeyouunderstand!"

"There's nothing to understand, and you don't owe me any explanations," she said quietly, gripping
the phone like a lifeline. "I came here as your nurse. You were lonely and maybe a little afraid....
Didn'tItellyouthatmostmalepatientsmakeagrabfortheirnurses?Ididn'ttakeyouseriously,of
course."

Theybothknewitwasalie,buthewasgoingalongwiththefictiontohelpsaveherpride.Shehated
knowingthat.

"I'mgladofthat,"hesaidroughly.Therewasanotherpause."IfIcandoanythingforyou,ever..."

"I can take care of myself," she told him proudly. "But thank you for offering. Shall I tell Lorraine
andDirk...?"

"No!"hesaidquickly."No,"headdedinamorecontrolledtone."IwanttosurprisethemwhenIget
back.

Promisemeyouwon'tsayaword."

"Asyoulike,"sheagreeddully."ButwhyshallIsayI'mgoinghome?"

"Can't you invent an emergency?" he asked "Or is telling a white lie too much for your snowy
conscience?"

Sheswalloweddownahotretort."Icanmanagethat,Ithink."

"Good,Thendoso.Foralltheyhavetoknow,thisphonecallcouldhavebeenfromyourpeople.You
don'thavetosayitwasme,doyou?"

"No,"sheagreed."There'snoonearoundrightnow.I'll...I'llfindanexcusetotakethefirstbusoutin
themorning,Gannon...I'mveryhappyforyou."

Hedidn'treplyrightaway."Ihopethingsgowellforyou,"hesaidfinally,heavily."Behappy,Dana.
I'dgiveanythingif..."

"If,"shemurmured."Whatasadword."

"Sadderthanyouknow,littleone,"hewhispered."Good-bye,my...Dana."

"Good-bye,Gannon."

ThelinewentdeadSheputherheadinherhandsandcrieduntiltherewerenotearsleft.Itwasover,
allover.

He didn't want her anymore, and he couldn't possibly have made it any plainer. He wanted Layn.
Beautiful,poisedLayn,whowassophisticatedandphysicallyperfect.

DanaheardLorrainecomingdownthestaircaseminuteslater,andwasgratefulthatshe'dhadalittle
timetocomposeherself.Shedrewherselferectandtriedtolookcalm.

"DidIhearthephonering,dear?"Lorraineaskedwithasmile.

"Yes," Dana said, thinking fast. "It was my aunt. She's developed a serious medical problem, and
there's no one but me to look after her. I don't know what to do..." She let her voice trail off and
couldn'tlookattheolderwoman.

"Do?Why,youmustgoandseeabouther,"Lorrainesaidquickly."IcanmanageGannon,withDirk's
help.Wecandowithoutyouifwemust,"sheaddedgently.

Dana felt dreadful. She'd hated telling the lie, but it was the only way she could think of to do as
Gannonhadasked.Besides,shethoughtmiserably,whenhecamebackhomeandLorrainerealized
thathecouldseeagain,itwouldallcomerightanyway.AndAuntHelendidhaveaseriousmedical
problem,afterall—hersharpandunthinkingtongue.

"I'dbetterpack,then.You'll...explaintoMr.vanderVerewhenhecomeshome?"sheasked,pausing
ontheloweststepofthestaircase.

"Ican'ttellyouhowsorryIamthatthingsdidn'tworkoutforthetwoofyou,"camethesoftreply.
"Laynwillnevermakehimhappy,Dana.She'stooshallowtogiveanythingofherself.Butmenareso
strange,mydear."

Danasmiledwistfully."Ihavetoagreethattheyseemitsometimes.Ihopeyou'llkeepintouchwith
me;I'dliketoknowhowMr.vanderVeredoes."

Lorrainefrownedslightly."Butsurelyyou'llbecomingback?"

Danaclearedherthroat."Oh,I'mplanningto,ofcourse,"sheliedcalmly."Butoneneverknowshow
thingswillturnout.ItcouldbedaysorevenweeksbeforeIcanleaveAuntHelen.Andsheismyonly
remainingrelative—

exceptformyfather."

"I'vegrownveryfondofyou,Dana."Lorrainehuggedhergentlyandkissedherpalecheek."Don't
worryaboutGannon,willyou?I'lltakecareofhim.Andthere'severychancethathe'llseethrough
Layn'swileseventually.

Isn'tthereasayingthatallthingscometohewhowaits?"

"Ifhewhowaitsliveslongenough,Isuppose,"Danasaidwithanattemptathumor.Shedrewaway
withasigh.

"Doletmehearhowthingsgo."

Lorrainenodded."Icertainlywill.GivemylovetoMrs.Pibbs,willyou?"

Danasmiled,rememberinghersupervisor.Withanyluckatall,shejustmightbeabletogetanother
job at the hospital. Of course, she'd have to swear Mrs. Pibbs to secrecy, so that she wouldn't let
anythingslipaboutAuntHelenbeinginthebloomofgoodhealth....

"Iwill.IsupposeI'dbettergetpacked.I'llwanttocatchthefirstbusoutinthemorning."

"Gannonmaybehometonight,"Lorrainementioned.

Danaalmostassuredherthathewouldn'tbe,butshebithertongue."Yes,hemay,"shesaidinstead,
andmanagedawansmile.

"Don'tyouwanttoeatfirst?"theolderwomanasked.

Danahesitated.Butherstomachdidfeelempty,andstarvingherselfwasn'tgoingtohelpthesituation.
"Yes, I think I will," she said. She followed Lorraine into the dining room. But she didn't taste
anythingsheate.

ChapterTen

Ashtonhadn'tchangedintheweeksDanahadbeenaway:Itwasstillslow-movingandprovincialand
charming.

Butshethoughtwhenshegottothebusdepotthatshewasgoingtomissthesoundoftheoceanat
night,missthewhitecapsonthebeach.MostofallshewasgoingtomissGannon,andthatwasgoing
tobethehardestadjustmenttomake.

She got off the bus, suitcase in hand, and called Jenny. Luckily she was at the apartment and not
working.

"You'reback!"herfriendexclaimed."AmIglad!Myotherroommategotsickofpickingupafterme
andmovedout,andI'msolonely—andthere'sajobavailableifyouhurry!Mrs.Pibbswouldgiveit
toyou;Iknowshewould!"

Danasmiledgaily.Everythingwasworkingoutfine;thepathwasbeingsmoothedaheadofher.For
thefirsttimeintwodaysshefeltarayofhopeforherlife.

Mrs.Pibbswaswaitingforherinthespotlessoffice,lookingpuzzledbutpleased.

"Allright,Nurse,let'sstartatthebeginning,ifyouplease,"shesaidcurdy,leaningbackinherchair
tolisten.

ItwasuselesstoputonafrontwithMrs.Pibbs,whohadamindlikeanet.WithasighDanatoldher
thewholewretchedstory,leavingoutnothing.

"SoImadeupthefictionofAuntHelenneedingmeandcamehome,"shesaidquietly,avoidingthe
otherwoman'sprobingeyes.

"Areyoucertainthathewastellingyouthetruth?"thesupervisoraskedshrewdly.

"Whyshouldhelie?"Danaaskedreasonably."Atanyratehewantedtoberidofmeandthefictionof
ourengagement,andnowheis.Andthere'sMissDalmont...."

Whatever Mrs. Pibbs was thinking, she obviously decided to keep to herself. She leaned forward.
"Verywell,whenIspeakwithLorraine,Iwon'tblowyourcover.ButinfactyourAuntHelencould
usesomesupportrightnow.She'sgrievingoverwhatshesaidtoyoubeforeyouleftAshton.Ithink
she'dbegratefulfortheopportunitytoseeyouandapologize."

Danasmiled."I'dliketoseeher,too.I'vehadalotoftimetothinksinceI'vebeenaway.IthinkI've
cometogripswithitallnow."

Mrs.Pibbsliftedhereyebrows."God'swill?"

Theyoungerwomannodded."God'swill.Iwon'tquestionitanymore."

"Justaswelltoo.Now,here'sthejobthat'sopen.It'sonlynightsupervisorontheeastwing,butyou'll
makeagoofit,I'msure.Youhaveonlytoreadjusttothenewschedule,orhaveyoubeenkeeping
latenightsanyway?"

"Mr.vanderVerelikedtotalkintotheearlyhours,"Danaconfessed."I'vebeenstayinguprelatively
late,soitshouldn'tbetoodifficulttogetusedtotheeleven-to-sevenshiftagain."

"Goodgirl.AndJennytellsmeshe'swithoutaroommate,"sheadded,glancingatDana'ssuitcaseon
thefloorbesideherchair.

"Yes,ma'am,"Danalaughed.Shegottoherfeet."WithyourpermissionI'lldashoverandstowmy
luggage.DoIstarttonight?"

"Withmyblessing."Mrs.Pibbsactuallysmiled."Welcomehome,Dana."

"Thankyou,"sherepliedearnestly.

Dana unpacked, having barely enough time to say hello and good-bye to Jenny, who went on duty
minuteslater.

Then,whenshe'drestedforafewminutes,sheresolutelyliftedthereceiverofthephoneanddialed
AuntHelen'snumber.

Itrangfivetimesbeforeitwaspickedup,andDanahadalmostgivenupwhensheheardheraunt's
honeyedtonesontheotherendoftheline.

"AuntHelen?"sheaskedhesitantly.

"Dana! Dana, is it you? Oh, my dear, I've been sick to death about what I said to you.... Can you
forgiveme?"

"OfcourseIcan,youwerehurtingjustasmuchasIwas,"Danasaidonasigh.Itwassuchablessed
relieftohavethingspatchedupagain."Howareyou?"

"Canyoucomeover?"AuntHelenasked,ignoringthequestion."I'llmakeapotofcoffeeandwe'll
talk,allright?"

"I'llbethereintenminutes,"shereplied.

It took fifteen, by the time she changed into jeans and a T-shirt, but her aunt lived only about two
blocksfromtheapartment

Helen's house was an old, rambling white frame Victorian, with a long front porch where white
rockingchairsandanequallywhiteporchswinginvitedvisitorstositamongthepottedflowersthat
linedtheentireporch.

Helencamerushingout,stillwearingherapron,andgrabbedDanainacrushingembrace.Shewas

crying,andDanacriedtoo.

HelendabbedathereyesthroughasmileandhandedDanaatissue.

"Sillywomen,"shemuttered."Wanttohaveourcoffeeouthere?"

"I'dloveit,"Danareplied."CanIhelp?"

"No,thetray'sallfixed.Mybestsilver,too,Iwantyoutoknow."

"I'mhonored!"

Helendisappearedintothehouseandreturnedwithahugesilvertrayladenwithcakeandcookiesand
coffee.

Sheputitonthewhitewrought-irontablebytherockingchairsandinvitedDanatositdown.Itwas
delightfulontheporch,coolandquietandhomey.Danacouldremembersomanylazysummerdays
spenttherewhileMandyvisitedheronlysister.

"Howareyou?"Helenaskedwhiletheysippedcoffeeandnibbledonhomemadecookies.

"I'mbetter.Muchbetter.Andyou?"

Helen shrugged. "Getting over it, I suppose. I still miss her, as I'm sure you do. But life goes on,
doesn'tit?"

Dana smiled wistfully. "Inevitably." She finished a cookie and took a sip of black coffee. "How's
Dad?"

Helengaveherasharp,probinglook."Hurting.HethinksyoublamehimforMandy'sdeath.Hecalls
meonceaweektoseehowyou'redoing."

Thatwaspainful."Itwashard,"shesaidafteraminute,"gettingusedtobeingtwofamilies,whenwe'd
been one most of my life. Always it was Mom and Dad. Now it's Dad and someone else, and no
Mom."Shesighedbitterly."Ihonestlyfeellikeanorphan."

"Dear,we'veagreedthatlifegoeson.Nowanswermejustonequestionhonestly,"Helensaid,leaning
forwardintently."Wouldyouwantyourfathertoliveallhislifealone,withnoone?"

Danablinked."Well,no,Idon'tsupposeso."

"Wouldyouwanthimtobeaplayboyandtakeoutadifferentwomaneverynight?''

"No!"Danasaid,horrified.

"You've never even met Sharla formally," Dana was reminded. "She's a lovely woman, Dana. Very
old-fashionedandsweet.Shelikestocookandgrowflowersanddoneedlepoint,andshelovesthe

wholeworld.

She'sa...motherlywoman.Andshehasnochildrenofherown;she'dneverbeenmarriedbeforeshe
metJack."

Thatwasinteresting.Danasatupstraight,staringacrossatheraunt."Shehadn't?"

Helensmiled."No,shehadn'tSo,yousee,marriagewasaveryspecialthingforher.Shecan'thave
childrenanymore,ofcourse,andshewaslookingforwardtohavingagrowndaughter."

Tears stung Dana's eyes. She turned away. "That might be nice, to be wanted by someone," she
whispered.

Helenfrowned."Whateverdoyoumean,darling?"

"Mothertoldme."

Helenblinked."Toldyouwhat?"

"Thatbecauseofme,DadandMomhadtogetmarried.Thatheneverwantedme,thatheblamedme
forbeingthecauseofamarriagetheybothhated,"shesaid,lettingthebitternessandhurtpourout.

Helengotupanddrewtheweepinggirlintoherarms."HowcouldMandytellyousuchathing?"she
ground out, rocking Dana slowly. "It wasn't true! They'd been married over a year when you came
along.Andyourfatherwastheonewhowantedyou,mydear,asmuchasIhatetoadmitit.Mandy
wasn't domestic, even in those early years. She hated the restriction of a child and refused to have
anotherone.Youspentsomuchofthoseearlyyearswithme,didn'tyouknow?"sheaddedwistfully,
tears welling in her eyes. "Mandy would leave you with me while she partied. And since I had no
childrenandnohusband,youbecamethelightofmylife.

Youstillare."

Danaweptunashamedly."Whydidshetellmethat—why?"

"Becauseshe'dgrownbitterwithadvancingage,darling,"Helensaidsoothingly."Shewasunhappy
andafraidofbeingalone,andshewantedtomakeyouhateJackforherownmisery.Hedidtry,Dana,
he did. But your mother was such an unhappy person. Eventually she turned to alcohol because she
couldn'tendurereality.Herwholelifeturnedintoawakingnightmare.Shewouldhavedestroyedthe
entirefamilyifshe'dlived,andyouknowitDon'tyou,Dana?"

Dana'slowerliptrembled."Yes,"shegroundout."Iknewitallalong,butithurtsomuchtoadmitit.
AndIfeltguilty...."

"Thatwasmyfault.Ialwayssaythewrongthing,andIneverblamedyou;Iwasjusthysterical."She
drew back. "Dana, it was God's will. He decides the hour of death, not you and I. And Mandy's so
muchhappiernowwithHim,don'tyouimagine?"

Danasmiledwetly."Yes,Iimaginesheis.Ijustmissherso!"

"Imisshertoo.Butwewantwhat'sbestforher,afterall.Andshe'satpeace."

Dananodded,dabbingagainatthetears."Howaboutsomemorecoffee?"sheasked.

"Suitsme.Somemorecookiestoo?"

"I'dlikethat."Shesatbackandacceptedasecondcupofsteamingblackcoffee."AuntHelen,would
youtellmesome"moreaboutSharla?"sheaskedafteraminute.

Helenturnedawaytopourherowncoffee,smilingsecretlybeforeshesatbackandbegantotalk.

BytheendofthesecondweekDanawasbackintheswingofthings.Theonlyhardmomenthadcome
when,catchingalate-nightnewscastwithJenny,she'dseenGannonvanderVerebeinginterviewedby
oneoftheanchormen.

"Say,isn'tthatthemanyouworkedfor?Whatadish!"Jennyexclaimed,leaningforwardtowatchthe
screenintently.

Danafeltherfacegowhiteasshelookedagainintothosedeep-seteyesasGannon'stannedfacefilled
thescreen.Herheartdidabackflipjustfromherlookingathim,lookingintotheeyesthatcouldquite
plainlyseeagain.

"Myownstrugglewithblindness,"Gannonwassaying,"taughtmethevalueofpropertoolstocope
withit.

Thisnewdevicewe'reworkingonisarevolutionaryconcept.Itwilltranslateformsandshapesintoa
kind of braille that can be read by the holder's fingers, giving him the pattern of places and even
people and traffic directly ahead of him. The impulses will be fed onto a screen in a piece of
equipmentaboutthesizeofaportablecassetteplayer.Intheoryit'squiteunique.Wehopethattheory
willtranslatewellintoausefulproduct."

"Amazing,"thenewsmanmurmured."Mr.vanderVere,we'veheardthatyourcompanymaytakea
tremendouslossonthisparticularproducttomakeitaffordabletothegeneralpublic."

"Thatisso,"Gannonrepliedquietly."Inordertobeeffective,itmustbeaccessibletothepeoplewho
needit.

We'recuttingcornerstokeepthecostofproductiondown,andincasesofdireneedweplantohavea
loanprogramaswell."

"Wouldyoutermthatgoodbusiness?"thenewsmanaskeddryly.

"Aquestionofdefinitions,"Gannonreplied."Ourstockholdershavenocomplaintsabouttheirprofit,
andonesuchsidelineasthisshouldn'thaveanydisastrouseffectonourfinances.However,beforeI'll

let the stockholders lose one penny, I'll pay for this new product out of my own pocket. I've been
there,yousee,"headdedsoftly."Iknowwhatitistobeblind.Ithinkthoseofuswhoaresightedand
haveaccesstothetechnologyaremorallyobligedtohelpthoselessfortunate."

"Philanthropy,Mr.vanderVere?"

Helaughedsoftly."God'sbusiness,sir,"herepliedwithagrin.

Theintervieweraskedseveralmorequestions,butDanadidn'thearthem.Shewaslostinthepleasure
ofwhatshe'dalreadyheard.

"Isn'theadish?"Jennysaidinawewhentheinterviewwasoverandthescreenwasblank."Howinthe
worldwereyouabletodragyourselfawayfromhim?"

"Oh,Imanaged,"Danahedged.She'dtoldJennynothingaboutwhathadreallyhappenedduringher
absence.

Andshewasn'tgoingto.Itwastoopainfultorehash.

FridaynightcameandshedressedverycarefullyfordinnerwithAuntHelen.Shechoseanoff-white
shirtwaistdresswithredaccessoriesandaflashyredscarf,lettingherlongpalehairstaylooseand
free.Shedidn'tknowwhyheraunthadinsistedonsuchformality,butthen,Helendidoccasionallyget
eccentric.

Of course, there was another possibility too—one Dana was afraid to ponder. She'd mentioned to
Helen that she wanted very much to meet Sharla and make her peace with her father, but was too
ashamed of her own behavior to approach him and risk another rejection. Helen had murmured
somethingaboutthingsworkingoutandhadgoneaboutherbusiness.Butthisdinnersoundedfaintly
suspicious.

Sure enough, when Dana got to Helen's house, there was a strange car parked in the driveway. She
grippedherpurseasifitthreatenedtoescape,andforcedherselftowalkontotheporchandringthe
doorbell.

Helencamerushingtoanswerit,herfaceflushed,hereyesapprehensive.

"Thereyouare,"shesaid,openingthedoor."Comein,comein.Uh,Iinvitedtwomoreforsupper..."

AsDanaenteredthelivingroom,shecameface-to-facewithherfatherandSharla,andshefeltallthe
blooddrainslowlyoutofhercheeks.

ChapterEleven

"Dana,I'dlikeyoutomeetSharla,"Helensaid,

faintly ruffled as she dragged Dana forward. "I think it's about time the two of you were formally
introduced."

Sharlawastallandslender,withwhitish-goldhairandpaleblueeyes.ShelookedasnervousasDana
felt,butshelookeddelightfulinasimplecottonshirtwaistthatmirroredDana'sownunruffledstyle
ofdressing.

"Hello,"Sharlasaid,extendingahand.Shesmiledhesitantly."I...Iwantedtomeetyoubefore,but..."

Dana nodded, taking the hand. It was warm and strong, and it was a hand that was no stranger to
housework—afarcryfromMandy'sdelicate,well-manicuredones.

"How are you?" Jack Steele asked quietly, watching his daughter closely. "Helen said you'd
completelyrecovered,andyou...lookwell."

"I'm doing nicely, thanks," Dana replied. Her eyes scanned the familiar face, finding new lines and
new gray hairs. He looked older, tired. But there was a light in his eyes when he glanced down at
Sharla that she'd never seen before. The same light she knew was in her own when she'd looked at
Gannon.

Sheglancedaway,embarrassed.

"Sharla,whydon'tyouhelpmewithsupper?"Helensaid,withameaningfulglancetowardfatherand
daughter.

Sharlajoinedherquickly."I'dloveto."

Whentheotherwomenweregone,Danashiftedfromonefoottotheotheruncomfortably,searching
forwords.

"I'vebeenworried,"JackSteelesaidfinally,hesitantly.Heshrugged."1wantedtocallyou,butwe've
beensofarapartforsolong,andIknewIwasn'tonyourlistoffavoritepeople.Ijustletthetimego
by,Iguess."

Shenodded.Sheclaspedherhandsinfrontofher."Yes,Iknow.That'showitwasformetoo."

"Ididn'tmarryMandybecauseIhadto,"heblurtedout,avoidinghereyes."Ilovedher.Ireallyloved
her,Dana.Butwhenyoucamealong,andsherefusedtosettledownandtakecareofyou—whenshe
began enjoying parties and alcohol more than she enjoyed her marriage and her daughter—" He
liftedhishandshelplessly."Idon'tevenrememberwhenitstoppedbeinglove.OnedayIwokeupand
realized that my life was too empty to bear. I thought if we divorced, perhaps she could find love
againinsomeoneorsomething.Ididn'texpectthatshe'ddeterioratesoquickly.Andbythentherewas

Sharla...."Hisvoiceloweredwithemotion."Sharla.AndIwasinlove,trulyinlove,forthefirsttime
inmylife."

Shestudiedhisavertedfaceandsheunderstood.BecauseofGannonsheunderstoodatlast.

"It'sakindofmadness,isn'tit?"sheaskedwisely,wryly."Ittakesoveryourlifeandyourmind,and
youhavenocontrolwhatsoeveroverwhatyoudo."

Hiseyesjerkedupandhestudiedherforalongtime."Youwouldn'thavesaidthatthreemonthsago."

Sheshookherhead."Ididn'tknowthreemonthsagowhatitwastolove.Iwassosuperiortotherest
oftheworld,youknow."

Helaughedsoftly."Wereyou?"

"Smugandsuperior....Icoulddowithoutanyone.I'dlostMandy,andtheworldalongwithher.Ihated
you."

Shesearchedhistiredface."HelensaidthatSharladoesn'thaveanychildrenofherown."

There was a tiny rustling movement from the doorway, and the older woman stopped just short of
Dana.

"Shedoes...now,"Sharlasaidhesitantly,herhandsliftingunsurely,herfacequiet,hopeful.

Withatiny,achingcry,Danaranintothosethinarmsandfeltthemencloseher,holdher,cradleher.
And she cried until she thought her heart would break, because this woman was the mother she'd
alwayswanted—

needed. Without being disloyal to Mandy, whom she'd loved and whom she missed, Sharla was
suddenlytherainbowafterthestorm.

JackSteeleclearedhisthroat,movingforwardtoseparatethetwowomen."Let'seatsomethingfirst,"
hemurmured."Ican'tcryonanemptystomach."

"Oh,Dad."Danalaughedthroughhertearsandhuggedhim.

"Welcomehome,"hewhisperedhuskily."Welcomehome,littlegirl."

ItwasthemostwonderfulnightDanacouldrememberinyears,sittingwithherfatherandstepmother,
learningaboutthem,beingwiththem.Theyweresogoodtogether,sosecureintheirloveforeach
other.

Heropinionofmarriageunderwentastartlingchangejustfromwatchingthem.

Jackdidn'taskanypointedquestionsaboutthetimeDanahadbeenonthecoast,butjustbeforethey
leftHelen'shouse,thetwoofthemwalkedoutaheadoftheothersandshefelthimwatchingher.

"Helensaidyouwerenursingablindman,"hesaidafteraminute.

"Yes.GannonvanderVere."

Hewhistled."Quiteacorporategiant,Mr.vanderVere.He'sregainedhissight,hasn'the?Isawhim
onthenewstheothernight."

Shenodded."Yes,he's...he'sbackatwork."

"Andquiteachangedman,"headdeddryly.

"Don'tlookatme—Iwasjusthisnurse."

"Really?"Heturned,holdinghergaze."Youlovehim,don'tyou?"

"Desperately," she admitted, feeling a surge of hunger so sweeping that it very nearly made her
swoon.

"Andhowdoeshefeel?"

She lifted her shoulders. "There's a woman.... They were very nearly engaged before his accident.
Nowthey'rebacktogetheragain.He...helovesher,yousee."

"I'msorry,"hetoldher."Verysorry."

"Don'tbe.LovinghimwasanexperienceI'llneverforget.It'senrichedmylife.Insomanyways."

"Yes,Icanseethat,"herepliedsurprisingly."You'reverydifferentnow,Dana.Anotherwomanfrom
theonewholeftAshtonthoseweeksago."

Shesmiled."Abetterone,Ihope."

Hegrinned."Whydon'tyougobackdownthereandputaringonhisfinger?”

She laughed. "Sounds simple, doesn't it? I'm afraid he's not that kind of man. Our worlds are very
different."

"Worlds,"heinformedher,"canmerge."

"LikeyoursandSharla's?"sheteasedImpulsivelyshehuggedhim."Ilikemynewstepmother."

"Shelikesyoutoo.Let'snotdriftapartagain,"headdedsolemnly."Let'sbeafamily."

Shenodded."I'dlikethatverymuch."

"DinnerwithusnextFriday?"heasked.

Shesmiled."AskSharlafirst"

"Sharla,canwehaveDanatodinnernextFriday?"hecalled.

"Don'tbesilly!"wastheinstantreply."Mydaughtercancometodinneranytimeshepleaseswithout
havingtohaveinvitations.Right,Dana?"

"Right...Mom,"sherepliedsoftly.

Sharlasmiledandturnedquicklyaway,butnotbeforeDanacaughtthegleamoftearsinhereyes.

Intheweeksthatfollowed,DanabecamearealpartoftheSteelefamily,andherlifebecamebright
andmeaningfulasshethrewherselfbackintoherwork.ButthelongershewasawayfromGannon,
theworsethelonelinessbecame.

WhenLorrainecalledherunexpectedlyoneWednesdayevening,shefeltshockwashoverher.She'd
onlybeenthinkingaboutGannonandhisstepmotherafewminutesearlier.

"How are you, my dear?" Lorraine asked softly. "We haven't heard from you, and I just wanted to
checkandmakesureyouwereallright.Howisyouraunt?"

Heraunt.Thewhitelie.Danaswallowed."Oh,AuntHelenismuchbetter,"shesaid."AndI'mfinetoo.
Howaboutyou?"

"I'mdoingverywell.YouknowthatGannoncouldsee;yousawhimontelevision?Imeanttowrite
you,butIwassoexcited,andthenDirkcamebacktohelponthecomputerproject....Thehousehas
beenoverrunwithtechniciansandscientists!"

"Iheardaboutthenewinvention.I'msopleasedaboutwhatGannon'sdone,"shemurmured.

"I'mshocked,"Lorrainesaidflatly."He'schangedso.He'slikeanotherman,socaringandconcerned.
Exceptformissingyou,ofcourse."

"What?"

"Missingyou."

"WhataboutLayn?"Danaburstout.

"Mydear,shebroughthimhomefromSavannahjustafteryouleft,andlookedlikeathundercloud.
Shetookoffinablazeofgloryandhasn'tbeenseensince.Gannonhasn'tevenmentionedher."

"Idon'tunderstand,"Danasaidweakly.Shesatdown,herlegscollapsing.

"NeitherdoI.Andhewasn'tstayingwithLayninSavannah,bytheway.KatyandMaudetoldonhim.
Hewasinthehospital."

"Hospital!"

"Hefell,didyouknow?"Lorraineaskedsuspiciously.

"Yes,"sheadmitted,feelingrelief."Heaskedmetoleaveandnotsayanythingtoyouabouthissight
returning.

Itpuzzledmeatthetime...."

"It's still puzzling me. I tried to pump his doctor, but I can't get anyone to tell me anything.
Something'sgoingon,Dana,"sheaddedquietly."Somethingverystrange.Hedoesn'tlookatwomen
—not at all. And when he isn't working, he walks along the beach for hours at a time, looking so
lonelythatIacheforhim."

"MaybehemissesLayn,"Danasuggested.

"When he talks about no one except you?" Lorraine asked sadly. "My dear, he got his hands on a
pictureofyouandhesitsandstaresatitlikeastarvingman."

Herheartwentwild."Apictureofme?Where?"

"HecharmedMrs.Pibbsoutofit,"Lorrainelaughed."Idon'tknowwhereshefoundit."

Danadid.Mrs.Pibbshadaskedforaphotographofhertoaddtosomekindofbrochure.Danahad
thoughtitwasanunusualrequestatthetime,butshehadn'tquestionedit.AndithadbeenforGannon!

"Ishehavinganytroubleatallwithhiseyes?"Danaaskedquickly.

"No,that'sthestrangething.Noheadaches,noblurring,nonothing.Buthewon'ttalkaboutthat."

Danasighed."No,Idon'tsupposehelikesrememberingit."

"Whydon'tyoucomedownfortheweekend?"Lorraineasked.

Danafeltherpulsegoskyhigh."Idon'tthink—"

'That's right, dear, don't think. Just come. You might consider going to see Dr. Shane while you're
aboutit—andmentionthatyou'regoingtobenursingGannonandaskaboutprocedure."

Danagasped."Thatwouldbehighlyunethical..."shebegan.

"Of course it would," Lorraine agreed. "But it would get the truth out of him. I'll take full
responsibility.I'vegottoknow,Dana,I'vegotto!"

Shepaused,hangingontothereceiverasifitwerealifejacket."Well..."shebegan,herheartracing.

"Bedaring,"Lorrainetaunted."Don'tyouwanttoknowwhathe'shiding?Dana,helovesyou!"

Her eyes closed at the sound of those words. He loves you. Heaven knew, she loved him—
desperately!Godforgiveme,shemurmuredsilently.

"I'llbethereinthemorning,afterIgetthroughatDr.Shane's.Couldyou...sortofcallhimandpave
theway?"

Lorrainelaughedsoftly."Mydear,I'dbedelighted.Iwon'ttellGannon,butI'llmakesurehedoesn't
leavethehouse.Haveasafetrip,darling."

"Seeyousoon,"shereplied,andhungup.Shewasdoingtherightthing.ButifGannonwashiding
something, she had to know what it was. She couldn't let him throw away their happiness without a
soundreason.Andnothingwouldbesoundenoughifitkeptherfromhim—notnow,whensheknew
howhorriblelifewasgoingtobewithouthim.

ChapterTwelve

Danahadanticipatedsomeproblemsgettingdaysofftogotothecoast,butMrs.Pibbswavedheroff
withararesmile.

"Thehospitalwillrunasusualwithoutyou,Nurse,"shesaidsmoothly.

"HowcanIthankyou...?"Danabegan.

"Behappy,"camethereply,sincerely."Letmeknowhowthingsworkout"

Dana frowned slightly. "Have you been talking to Mrs. van der Vere by any chance?" she asked
suspiciously.

"Now, why in the world should you think that?" Mrs. Pibbs asked tartly. "Run along and catch your
bus,Dana,I'mabusywoman.Haveanicetime."

"Thankyou,"Danamurmured,pausingatthedoor."Areyousure...?"

"I'msure.Good-bye,haveagoodtrip."

Shewassuspiciousaboutthatpleasantgrin,butshewavedandclosedthedoorbehindher.

The hospital was crowded when she reached the coast, and she had to wait an hour before she was
allowedintoseeDr.Shane.

Helookedharassedandnotalittleirritable,buthewavedherintoachairandsatdownheavily.

"ThankGod,"hemuttered,"achancetobreathe.IunderstandfromLorrainethatyou'rebacktonurse
Gannon?

Godknowswhy,nothing'sgoingtochangeregardlessofyournursingskill,butwhoamItoargue
withhim?Inevergetanywhereatall."

Danaalmostgrinnedbutcaughtherselfintime.Shefoldedherhandsinthelapofhergreenshiftwith
itspalegreenbelt,feelingthenailsbiteintoherpalms.

"Exactlywhatishissituation,Dr.Shane?"sheaskedwithforcedcalm.

He pursed his lips, studying her under a frown. "Lorraine assured me that you were here with
Gannon'spermission,"heobserved."Youdorealizethatifthatweren'tthecase,I'dbebreachinghis
confidenceandmyoathaswell?''

Sheswallowed."Yes,sir,"shesaid.Itwasonthetipofhertonguetotellthetruth,tobehonest,but
somethingkeptherquietandstill.

Heshrugged."Verywell,I'llhavetotakeLorraine'swordforit.Iwasn'tevenawarethathe'dtoldher.

Butthen,he'sastrangemanattimes."Hepulledafiletowardhimandopenedit."Youknowthatthe
shrapnelisinoperable?"

"Yes,sir,"shesaid,whichwasthetruth.Shesatstiffly,waiting.

"Well,nothing'schangedthere.Thefallwasastrokeofgoodluck,becauseitdislodgedtheshrapnel
andrelievedthepressure,returninghisvision.However,"hesaid,leaningbackinthechairsolemnly,
topinherwithhiseyes,"hehasnoguaranteethatthesamethingwon'thappenagainandleavehim
blind."

Herheartstopped—stoppedandthenranaway."Hecouldbecomeblindagain?"sheechoednumbly.

"Ofcourse.Therearenewadvances,youknow.Everydaywelearnmoreandcandomore.Butfor
thepresenthehastogoonlivingwiththatswordhangingoverhim."

"Iftheshrapnelshiftsagain,"shesaidslowly,"itcoulddomorethanblindhim,couldn'tit?"

He lifted his hands. "As a nurse, you know as well as I do that anything lodged in the brain is a
potentialtimebomb.Butthere'snothingmedicalsciencecandoaboutitatthepresenttime.Iwishthat
weren'tthecase.ButI'mafraiditis."

"Andnaturally,"shecontinued,inwhatseemedaterriblyslowvoice,"hewouldn'twanttoaskanyone
tosharethatriskwithhim."

"Marriage,youmean,"henodded.Hesighed."Hesaidalmostthatsamethinghimself.Itoldhimhe
wasbeingabsurd,buthewouldn'tlisten.Goodheavens,Nurse,Icouldstepoffacurbandkillmyself
tomorrow,andthere'snothinglodgedinmybrain!"

Shemanagedawansmile."Howveryoddthathewantedtokeepittohimself."

"Notoddatall.It'slikehim,"Heclosedthefile."Well,that'sallIcantellyou,unlessyouwantmeto
read you the medical terminology. He shouldn't participate in any daredevil antics, of course, and
thingslikedivingandviolentsportsareout.Otherwisehecanleadafairlynormallife."

"Asneezecoulddislodgeit,couldn'tit?"sheaskedquietly.

"Yes.Fewpeopleoutsidethemedicalprofessionrealizehowviolentasneezeis."Hewatchedherpale
facewithinterest."Thebestthingisnottodwellonitandnottolethimdwellonit.There'samanin
Viennaworkingoninnovationsinbrainsurgeryrightnow;Iexpectabreakthroughanyday.Whenit
comes—andnoticeIsaidwhen,notif—I'llgetintouchwithGannon."

Shesmiledweakly."Thankyoufortellingme."

"DoesGannonknowyou'rehere?"heaskedkindly.

"IfIwerehereunderfalsepretenses,wouldIanswerthat?"sheasked,standing.

"No.SoI'dbetternotask."Hetookherhand."Blasthimoutofhisprison,girl.Nomanhastheright
tosacrificehimselfonagamble.Thatpieceofshrapnelcouldstaywhereitisuntilhe'sahundredand
tenyearsold,forallyouorIknow."

Shenodded."NowallIhavetodoisconvincehimofthat."Hereyesdarkened."IfIdon'tmurderhim
first,"sheaddedcoldly.

Hechuckledsoftly."Letmeknowhowthingsworkout.1lovehappyendings."

"Hismaynotbesohappy,"shemuttered,gatheringspeedasshewalkedoutthedoor,thankinghim
againbeforeshewentstalkingdownthehall.

She took a cab to the beach house, fuming. He was going to spend the rest of his life living alone
becauseofsomethingthatmighthappen.Hewasgoingtomakeher,andhimself,miserableandshut
heroutofhislifeanddenyhereventhechoiceofstayingorgoing.Themoreshethoughtaboutit,
themaddershegot.Bythetimeshepaidthecabandwalkedtothefrontdoorofthebeachhouse,her
facewashotwithtemper.

Lorraineansweredit,andherthinfacelitup.ShegrabbedDanalikealong-lostdaughter."Oh,Iwas
soafraidyou'dchangeyourmind,backout.I'mjustbesidemyselfthatyoucameanyway!"

"I'mgladtoo,"shereplied,huggingLorraineback."Dr.Shanetoldmeeverything.It'stheshrapnel.
Hecouldbecomeblindagain."

Theolderwomanclosedhereyeswithasigh."Sothat'sit.Itexplainssomuch."

"Yes, it does. But it doesn't justify sending me away if he really does care," she added, frowning,
becauseshewasn'tsurethathedid.Shecouldn'tbe.

"Ifyou'lltakeanoldwoman'sword,"Lorrainesaidsoftly,"Ithinkhedoes.Verymuch."

Danasighed,afraidnow,becausetheangerwaswearingoffandleavingdesperationinitsplace.She
couldhavemisreadtheentiresituation.ItmightbeLaynhewassparing,notDana.

"Why don't you walk down to the beach and find him?" Lorraine suggested, her eyes kind. "I think
you'll be able to tell one way or another the minute he sees you. What he feels will be in his face,
becauseheisn'texpectingyouandhewon'tbeprepared."

Dana'sheartleaped."He'sonthebeach?"

Lorrainenodded."Abouthalfwaydown,sittingonalog,gloweringattheocean.Goon.Bedaring.
Whathaveyougottolose?"

There was the question. She had nothing to lose, because without Gannon there was nothing she
mindedlosing.

Shepulledhershouldersbackandlaidherpursedownonthehalltable.

"Wishmeluck,willyou?"sheaskedtheolderwoman."IthinkImayneedit"

"Alltheluckintheworld,mydear."Lorrainegaveherapush."Goon.You'llneverknowuntilyou
facehim."

"Imayseeyouagainverysoon."

"Ifyoudon't,Iwon'twaitlunch,"camethedryreply.

Dana walked through the house and down the back steps with her heart hammering wildly at her
throat. She paused at the top of the staircase that led down to the beach, and looked down until her
eyesfoundGannon.

Hisbackwastoher.Hewaswearingwhiteslacksandablueandwhitepatternedtropicalshirt,andhis
headwasbowedinthesunlight.Helookedsoalone,sobitterlyalone,thatshefeltlikecrying.That
gaveherthecouragesheneededtogodownthestepsandwalkalongthebeachtowardhim.Herheart
washammeringwildlyatherthroatlikeatrappedbirdtryingtobefree,whilethewavescrashedonto
thebeachandthesunburneddownonthewhitesand.

Dana'sfootstepsweremuffledbythesoundofthesurfassheapproachedthebigblondmansittingon
thelog.

Herbreathseemedtocatchinherthroat.Wouldhebegladtoseeher?Orwouldhejustbeshocked
andannoyed?

Shepausedjustbehindhim.Herhandliftedandthenfell."Gannon?"shecalledsoftly.

Hisheadjerkedup.Whenhesawher,heseemedtogorigidallover.Hiseyestookherinfromhead
totoeandbackagain,notingtheemerald-greendress,herfaceinitsframeofpale,loosenedhair,her
wide,searchingeyes.

"Dana?"hewhispered,standing.

"Yes," she said simply. Her own eyes were busy reconciling the man she saw with her memory of
him.Helookedthinnersomehow,worn,butthesightofhimfedherpoor,starvedeyes.

"Whatareyoudoinghere?"heasked.

"I,uh,IcametoseeLorraine,"shehedged,wordsfailingher.

Hischestroseandfellheavily."Wasthattheonlyreason?"

Her lower lip trembled and she caught it between her teeth. "No," she replied with a shaky smile.
"I...cametoseeyoutoo."

"Youlookverythin,"hesaidinatightvoice,studyingherslendernessagain."Isthatnew?"

"Thedress?No,it'sanoldone."

"Thethinness,notthedress,"hesaidharshly."WhyshouldIcareaboutwhatyouwear?"

"Whyshould you careabout me, period?"she burst out, angercoming to herrescue. "Not a single
phonecall,notacard...Icouldhavediedandyouwouldn'thaveknownorcared!"

"That's a lie," he shot back, his face pale. "I kept up with you through Mrs. Pibbs. I knew how you
were,atleast.

Youcouldn'tevenbebotheredtowritetoLorraine,couldyou?"

"WhyshouldI,whenyousentmeaway?"shetossedback,hurtingallthewaytoherbones."Yousent
meaway!"

"Ihadto,"hegroundout,hisfacecontortingashesawthehurtonhereyes."Youdon'tunderstand."

"Yes,Ido,"shecriedangrily."Yousentmeawaybecauseoftheshrapnel!"

Helookedeveryyearofhisage.Hispowerfulframeseemedtoshudder."Whotoldyou?"heaskedin
adeadlyquiettone.

"Iwon'ttellyou,"shereturned."Butit'strue,isn'tit?Youcouldgoblindagain."

Hiseyesclosedonawearysigh."Yes,"hesaidheavily."Icouldgoblindagain."

She moved closer, looking up at him with soft, probing eyes. "I have to know," she said quietly. "I
haven'tmuchprideleft—ormuchsense.Ihavetobetold.WasitbecauseofLaynthatyouwantedme
tobreaktheengagement,Gannon?Wasitbecauseofmyscar...?"

Hewhisperedsomethingroughunderhisbreathandhishandsshotout.Withanexpressionofpure
anguishhedraggedheragainsthisbigbodyandbenttohermouth.

"Don'ttalk,"hesaidunsteadily,brushinghislipsslowly,tremblingly,overhers."Don'ttalk.Kissme.
Letmeshowyouhowit'sbeenwithoutyou,Dana!"

Shebentundertheroughcrushofhisardor,feelingthehurtandtheheartacheandthelonelinessall
wrappedupinhisslow,fiercekisses.Sheclungtohimwithtearsdrainingfromhereyes,lovingthe
touchofhim,thefeelandsmellandtasteofhim,astheworldseemedtoturntogoldallaroundthem,
bindingthemtogetherwithskeinsofpurelove.

"Imissedyou,"hewhisperedbrokenly,wrappingherupinhisbigarmstorockherslowlyagainst
him."I'vebeenhalfamansincethedayIsentyouaway.ButIcouldn'tletyoustay,knowingwhatI
did.Ionlywantedwhatwasbestforyou."

Shehithisbroadchestwithasmall,furiousfist."Youstupidman,"shewhimpered,buryingherface
againsthim."AsifIcaredaboutbeingprotected.I'manurse,notanhystericalwoman.AndIloveyou
quitedesperately,incaseyouhaven'tnoticed.Youwouldn'tevenletmehaveachoice!"

"HowcouldI,knowingwhatthechoicewouldbe?”hegroundout,holdingherevencloser."Dana,
you'resoyoung,withyourwholelifeaheadofyou."

"What kind of life am I expected to have, for heaven's sake, without you?" she asked in anguish,
liftingherredeyestohis."Don'tyouevenknowthatIonlygothroughthemotionsoflivingwithout
you?There'llneverbeanyoneelse,notaslongasIlive.Sopleasetellmehowtolookforwardtoa
lifetimeoflonelinessandgrief—

becauseI'llmournyoueverydayIlivefromnowon!"

Hetriedtospeakandmadeahelplessmotionwithhisshouldersbeforehedraggedhercloseagain
andbenthisheadoverhers.

"Icoulddie,"hewhispered.

"Yes," she managed on a sob. "So could I. A tree could fall on me while I was walking back to the
house.Doyouthinklifecomeswithawrittenguarantee?"

"Icouldbeparalyzed."

"ThenI'dsitwithyou,"shewhispered,liftingherheadtostudyhimwithlovepouringfromherface.
"I'dsitbyyourbedsideandholdyourhandandreadtoyou.AndI'dloveyousomuch...."

Thetearsburstfromhiseyesandranunashamedlydownhischeeksasshespoke,andshereachedup
andtenderlytouchedeachofthem,brushingthembackfromhishardcheeks.

"Iloveyou,"sherepeatedsoftly,blinkingawayherowntears."Ifwegotmarried,Icouldgiveyou
children.

And then, even if something dreadful did happen, we'd have all those happy years behind us; we'd
havethecomfortofourfamilyaroundus.We'dhaveeachotherandthememoryofloving."

He bent and kissed her eyes softly, slowly. "I love you," he whispered, shaken. "So much that I'd
willingly give up my life for you. But what am I offering you except the possibility of a living
nightmare?"

"Ifyouwon'tmarryme,"shesaidafteraminute,"I'lllivewithyouanyway.I'llmoveinandsleepin
yourarmsandshameyoufornotmakinganhonestwomanofme."Shedrewbackandlookedupinto
hisdarkeningeyes.

"I'llfollowyouaroundlikeapuppyfromnowon,andyouwon'tbeabletolookbehindyouwithout
seeingme.

I'llcrawlonmykneesifIhaveto,butIwon'tleaveyounow.NotuntilIdie."

"Dana,forGod'ssake..."

"ItisforGod'ssake,"shewhisperedsoftly,smiling."ForGod'ssakeandmyown.BecauseallIknow
ofloveIlearnedfromyou."

Hiseyesclosed."Don'tmakeitanyharderforme,"hepleaded.

"ButIwill,"shereplied,snugglingcloser,feelingsafeandsecureforthefirsttimeinweeks."You've
givenmebackmyfamily.BecauseIlovedyou,Iwasabletoforgivethemandlovethemagain.I'm
partofafamilyagain,allbecauseofyou."

"Idon'twantyouhurt,"hewhispered.

"Thendon'tsendmeaway,"shewhisperedback.Shedrewhisfacedowntohers."BecauseI'llnever
behurtagainifIcanstaywhereyouare."

"It'sinsane,"hegroundoutagainstherwarm,softmouth.

Shesmiled."Yes,"shemurmured."Sweetinsanity.Kissme.ThenI'llproposetoyouagainandgoand
askyourmotherforyourhandinmarriage...."

Heburstoutlaughinginspiteofhimself."Dana,youcrazywoman...!"

"Becrazywithme,"shetempted.Shestoodontiptoeandkissedhimagain.Andthenshefelthisarms
contract,andhewaskissingher.Itwasalongtimebeforetheycouldfindwordsagain.

"This isn't solving anything," he said finally, dragging himself away from her. "Here, sit down and
let'strytotalkreasonably."

She joined him on the log, sitting close, companionably, while he took a deep breath and sat, just
lookingather.

"Youlooksodifferent,"hemurmured.

"Frommyphotograph,youmean?"sherepliedwithanimpishsmile.

Heshiftedandlookeduncomfortableforaminute."Whotoldyou?Lorraine?"

"Don'tblameher,"shepleaded."Iwasclutchingatstraws.Ithoughtyou'dforgottenallaboutme."

He shook his head. "That was beyond me. I've sat here day after day, remembering the sound and
smellofyou.''

His eyes searched her quiet face and he smiled. "You're the most beautiful thing I've seen since I
regainedmysight."

She blushed and lowered her eyes. "I'm very glad you think so." She glanced up again, warily.
"Gannon,thescar..."

He bent and brushed the soft hair away from her cheek and kissed the pale white line that ran
alongsideherear.

"We'llthinkofitasabeautymark,"hewhispered."We'lltellthechildrenthatyougotitfightingtigers
inMalaya,justtomakeitsoundbetter."

Hereyessearchedhis."You'regoingtoletmestay?"sheaskedsoftly.

Hetouchedhermouthwithhisfingers."HowcanIletyougonow?"heaskedquietly."Butwemay
bothlivetoregretit,Dana."

Sheshookherhead."Notever."

Shesaiditwithsuchconvictionthatheavertedhiseyesonaheavy,raggedsigh.Hecaughtherhand
inhisandheldittightly.

"Isawyouontelevision,"shementioned,grinning."Youlookedsohandsome—myroommatesaid
youwereadish."

Hechuckled."Ididn'tfeellikeadish.IwasmissingyouandhurtinginwaysIhadn'tdreamedIcould."

"MeandnotLayn?"

He looked haunted for an instant, and the big hand holding hers contracted roughly. "I needed
something to drive you away when Dr. Shane told me the truth. I couldn't bear the thought of
subjecting you to what might happen." He shrugged. "It seemed the thing to do at the time. I knew
you'd never go if you knew the truth." He glanced down at her. "You're far too caring a person to
desertasinkingship."

Shenuzzledclosetohim,sighing."Youneverreallycaredabouther,then?"

"No.Andsheknewit—sheknewexactlywhatIwasdoing.I'mstillnotsurewhyshewentalongwith
it,unlessshethoughtshemighthaveachancewithmeagain."Heliftedhishandandletitfall."She
foundoutprettyquicklythatshedidn't.BythattimeIwassomuchinlovewithyouthatIcouldn'tsee
herfordust."

"TherewassomethingstrangeinyourvoicewhenyoucalledmefromSavannah,"sheconfessed."I
couldn't help wondering at the time if you were really telling me the truth about being able to see
again."

"Oh,Icouldseeallright.Andnotjustinanyvisualsense,"headdedonahardsigh."Icouldseeyou
livingwiththistimebombinmyhead."

"Weallcarrytimebombsaroundwithus,Gannon,"shesaidgently."Ofonekindoranother.Noneof
usknowsthehourofourowndeath.It'sjustaswelltoo:We'dneveraccomplishanything.Youmight
surviveme."

"Horrible thought," he said curtly. He looked down at her with all his heart in his eyes. "I wouldn't
wanttolivewithoutyou."

"Butyouweregoingtocondemnmetoit,weren'tyou?"sheaccused.Shereachedupandtouchedhis
faceasshe'dlongedtoforsomanyemptyweeks."Iwantyoutocomehomewithmeandmeetmy
fatherandmystepmotherandmyauntIthink—Ihope—you'lllikethem."

"You'vemadeyourpeace,Isee,"heobserved.

Shesmiled."IfoundthatIquitelikemystepmother.She'sjustwhatmyfatherneeded.Ikindoflike
himtoo.

We cleared up a lot of misunderstandings; we're closer now than ever before. And best of all, I've
cometogripswithmyownguiltandmygrief.I'llalwaysmissmymother,butIrealizenowthatshe's
betteroff."

"Goddoesknowbest,"hemurmured,smilingatthelookonherface."Oh,yes,I'vedonemybitof
changing.

I'verealizedthatthere'smuchmoretolifethanthemakingandspendingofmoney."

Shereachedupandkissedhim."I'vearrivedatthesameconclusion.Whenareyougoingtomarry
me?"

"You've only just proposed," he reminded her. "A man can't be rushed into these things, after all. I
havetobuyasuitandhavemyhairdone...."

"Stopthat,"shemuttered,hittinghimlovingly.

"Well,ifyoudon'tmindanuntidybridegroom,IsupposewecouldgetmarriedMonday."

"That'sonlythreedaysaway!"shegasped.

Heshrugged."Well,wecandoitsooner,Isuppose;Ijustthought..."

"Mondayisfine!"shesaidquickly,laughing."Oh,Mondayisjustfine!"

"Thenlet'sgoandcallmyminsterandseeaboutgettingalicense,"hesaid.Hestoodup,drawingher
withhim.

"Lovely,lovelywoman.I'mtheluckiestmanalive."

"You'recertainlythehandsomest,"shemurmured."Whatgorgeoussonswe'llhave!"

Hechuckled,leadingherdownthebeach."Ourdaughtersaren'tgoingtobebad,either,"heobserved.

TableofContents

ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve