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Epilogue

writtenpermissionofthepublisherexceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookrevieworscholarly
journal.

Any trademarks, service marks, product names or named features are assumed to be the property of

theirrespectiveowners,andareusedonlyforreference.Thereisnoimpliedendorsementifweuseone
ofthoseterms.

Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,character,places,andincidentsareeithertheproductoftheauthor’s

imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business
establishments,eventsorlocalesisentirelycoincidental.

Bookcoveranddesigns:BruceGore|GoreStudio,Inc.

Jarrett,IusedtothinkthatTrueLovewaslessbelievablethanWizards,Dragons,andPerfectCredit.

Thankyouforprovingmewrong.

Now

WhyisthissomuchharderthanIimagineditwouldbe?Thequestionechoesthroughmyheadover

andoverasIcarrymysuitcaseupthestairsandintomyoldroom.Maybeit’sbecauseI’vebarelybeen
backsincethatfatefulsummerovertenyearsago?OrmaybebecauseIcanstillsensemygrandmother’s
presence flitting through the hallways even though she’s been dead for nearly a year now. It came as a
surprisetoallofuswhensheleftherhometomeandmysister,Layla.Mymotherthrewafitwhenshe
foundout;shelovedthishouseanditsoceanview.Or,shelovedthestatusthatgoeswithsuchahome.
That’stherealreasonwecamehereeverysummerwhileIwasgrowingup.Notbecauseshewantedusto
gettoknowouronlylivinggrandparent,orbecausetheYachtClubweweremembersofhereprovideda
safeenvironmentforherchildren.Itwasthestatusthatthefamilynamebroughther.

I’m excited to finally settle down. To think, I’m actually in a place that I have no plans of leaving.

Gettingtoknowmysisteragainnowthatwe’rebothadultsisaside-benefit.Wehaven’tlivedinthesame
housesince,wellsincemylastsummerinthishouse,andournineyearagedifferencehasn’thelpedwith
ourbonding.ThoughLaylahasn’tseemedtochangemuchthroughtheyears.Herbrightredhairhasturned
afewshadesdarker,butsheisstillthegirlthatdancesherwaythroughlifeinsteadofwalkinglikethe
rest of us mere mortals. Her high emotions explainED the dampness on my left shoulder, since she
immediatelyburstintotearsofsupremehappinesswhenIwalkedthroughthedoor.Aftertenminutesof
huggingandsniffling,sheusheredmeupstairstogetmyselfsettledbeforedrinksonthepatiotocatchup.

Myroom,whichhadbeencompletelyinvoguewhenIlefttwelveyearsago,isasad,fadedshadeof

pink.Myvanitymirrorstillhasamillionphotosfrommyyouthsqueezedintotheframe,andI’mpretty
sure if I look in the top drawer of my dresser I’d catch a whiff of the Tommy Hilfiger cologne that
adornedthehoodiethathegavemeonourveryfirstnighttogether.

Itoeoffmysensibleheels,thenshimmyoutofthetight,blackpencilskirtIworetodayandslideintoa

pairofjeanssobroken-inthattheyfeellikesilkandfitlikeheaven.Afterspendinghalfaminutescouring
throughmysuitcaseforthesweatshirtIjustknowIpacked,Ieyethattopdrawer.

“Whatthehell,”Isightomyselfandwalkaroundmybedtothedresser.Thefaintesthintofcologne

does hit the air as I pull the hoodie out from the drawer. Or perhaps that’s just wishful thinking. Either
way,Iwrapthearmsofthehoodiearoundmywaisttouseifitgetschilly,andpadbackdownstairsand
ontothepatiowhereLaylaiswaitingwithapitcherofArnoldPalmers.

“AnnaLynne!”Laylacallsmeover,sayingmynamethewayonlyatrueSouthernercan:asifmyfirst

and middle names were just one word. I grab the iced tea drink from her outstretched hand once I get
closeenough,andthankherbeforetakingasipandblanching.

“Layla, don’t you think it’s a little early for liquor?” I nod towards the pitcher that I now notice is

shovedfullofmint.That,andtheheavydoseofwhiskeythatisnowburningitswaydownmythroat,is
allthatstandsinbetweenthepromisedteaandlemonadedrinkandatrueSouthern-StyleJohnDaly.

“Oh,hush.We’resupposedtobecatchingupandcelebratingyourreturnhome!Wecan’tdoeitherone

without proper libations. Besides, it’s what we’ll be drinking at your Homecoming party next week.
Which is what we’re calling your birthday party since you refuse to celebrate it like a normal human
being.”

Irollmyeyesinagesturemuchyoungerthanmysoon-to-be30years.“Justbecauseyou’retwenty-one

nowdoesn’tmeanyouhavetopouralchoholineverything.”IwishsomeonehadtoldmethesamewhenI
turnedtwenty-one.

Layla ignores me and continues. “I figured we’d have a few now before the caterers come by later

withthemenusamples.Wewanttomakesureyoursignaturedrinktastesgoodwiththefood,don’twe?”

Igiveherabigsmilethensitdowninoneofthechairsthatcirclestheglasspatiotable.“You’reright,

ofcourse.Come,sit.Whathaveyoubeendoingwithyourself?”

“Well,I’vebarelydoneanythingsinceIfinishedschool,besideswork.WhichiswhyIamsohappy

youfinallyarrived!Ofcourse,I’vegoneandtakenafewlooksaroundatthedarlinglittleshopyou’ve
decidedtosetupin!Ijustcouldn’thelpmyselffromstoppingbyYumsBunsrightnextdoor.Theystill
havethemostdiv–“

“You’vebeenbytheshop?”Ican’thelpmyselffrominterrupting.I’veonlybeenabletotakeacouple

ofquicklooksaroundatthestorefrontI’mleasingformybusiness,eachtimewhilepassingthroughtown.
Itwasn’tnearlyenough.“IalmostmadethedrivertakeadetoursoIcouldpokearoundabit;youhaveno
ideahowfrustratingitisto—”

“No,no,no!Wearenottalkingbusinesstoday.Todayisforgossip,drinks,andlateron,goodfood.If

Ihearyousomuchasmentionthewords‘accessory’,‘colorpalettes’,or‘profitmargin,’Iwillpourthis
pitcher over your head! Don’t you tempt me!” Even though her posture is still relaxed and she sounds
exactlylikeaTVstereotypefor‘Well-BredSouthernLady’,Iknowmysisterisn’tjoking.She’lldoit.

She’sdoneitbefore.
“Fine,fine!Nobusinesstoday,promise.”I’mnotsureit’sapromiseIcanactuallykeepthough.I’m

prettyexcitedaboutmysmallaccessorybrand,ALaCartwright,finallyhavingabrick-and-mortarstore
ofit’sown.Itstartedattheall-girlboardingschoolIattendedforsenioryear.Tinkeringwithscarvesand
beadsanddesigningmyownpurseswastheonlycopingmechanismbesidessportsI’dbeenpermitted.
Withnootherfirmideaonwhattodoforcollege,Idecidedtodouble-majorinbusinessanddesign.

Mymotherhadbeenfurious.Itwasn’ttheideaofcollegethatmadehersomad.Afterall,awell-bred

woman needs to have a college degree in the same way she needs good posture and a pretty smile. A
diplomawasanothertypeofaccessory,likeagoodhandbag,oraman.However,shewasn’tsupposedto
workaftergraduating.Ididn’tneedto,atleastnotforfinancialreasons;myfatherhadleftageneroustrust
fundformeandLaylauponhisdeath.IguessIneverreallyoutgrewtheslightrebelliousphasethatpulled
meawayfromMamaandlandedmeinboardingschoolinthefirstplace.Atleastitwasn’tdrugs.Though,
now that I’m thinking about it, Mama would probably have preferred that. Addiction is awfully
fashionable.

“Whatareyouthinkingofnow,AnnaLynne?Youhaveafunnylittlesmileonyourface.”Mysister’s

voiceraisesmeoutofmyinnermusings.

“Honestly?IwasthinkingabouthowMamawouldhavebeenhappierifI’djustbecomeapillpopper

likealltheotherdysfunctionaldebutantesinsteadofstartingmyownbusiness.”

“Oh, lord! It’s true, because then she would have understood you a little more. I could just see the

mother-daughter moments you two would have had over your shared mood-stabilizer use.” Layla is
laughing,andI’mgladbecauseIamtoo.Mamareallyisn’tthatbad.Notallthetime,atleast.

Oncethelaughingstops,Laylaspeaksup.“SpeakingofMama,Philipcalledearliertocheckin.Their

villa needs a new roof, apparently. Mama has decided they can’t live in a place while it’s under
construction,so they’re settingoff for anextended cruise until thematter is settled.”Philip is our step-
father. He entered our lives only a few short months after Daddy died, and it’s only recently that I’ve
stoppedblaminghimfor,well,everything.

“They’llbeoutofcontactforawhile,buthewantedtocallandletyouknowthatyourpresentshould

beheresoon.Hewassodisappointedtomissyou!”Laylaisprojectingthatdisappointment.Eventhough
PhilipandIareonfriendlytermsthesedays,we’llneverhavethesametypeofrelationshiphehaswith
Layla.WhileI’dbeensentawaytoboardingschoolandthendirectlyofftocollege,Laylagrewupwith
himasaparent.Theyloveeachother,andeventhoughI’msadthatmybabysisterdoesn’thaveasmany
greatmemoriesofourfatherasIdo,IamhappyshehasPhiliptohelpfillthatvoid.EvenwhenIhated
him,Iwasthankfulshehadthat.

“DidhesayhowMamaisdoing?”Iask.
“Other than she wishes we all got the chance to spend more time together? No. I’m guessing she’s

doing just fine. We’ll hear all about the cruise during her next newsletter.” We both snicker into our
glasses.Mama’snewslettersarethehighlightofmymonth,notbecauseIcaresomuchaboutwhatshe’s
doingastheyarejustthatfunny.They’refilledwithgossipanddramaandsomuchcrazythatiftheywere
televised,she’dmakeafortune.“Shedoesmissyou,youknow.Shesayssoeverytimewetalk.”

I huff then lean back into my chair. “It’s not like I don’t call her every week. It’s not my fault she

doesn’tanswerhalfthetime.”

“Oh, I know. Still, when I was little it seemed like you guys were best friends! What exactly

happened?”Laylaleansforward,swirlingtheicearoundwithherstrawinhermostlyemptyglass.

Ilookaway.Mylastsummerhereis“whathappened.”I’veforgivenherforgettingmarriedsosoon

afterDaddydied,andI’veforgivenherforsendingmetoaboardingschoolfortroubled-teens;Ideserved
thatone.Butasummerofgrievingandragingandlovingchangesaperson.

“I idolized that woman when we were growing up. There was no better compliment than when

someonetoldmeIlookedlikeher.Youlookmorelikedaddy,youknow.”Laylanodsherheadandwaves
her hand, wanting me to keep sharing. I study my clear-glossed nails. “Why wouldn’t I want to be like
her?Shewasbeautifulandrefined.ShewaseverythingagoodSouthernWomanshouldbe,andtotopit
alloff?ShehadDaddy.Well,itonlymakessensethatifIwantedamanasperfectashewas,thenIhadto
bejustlikeMama,right?”Ilaughatmyoldnaiveté.

“Iunderstandthat.PeopleadoreMama,DaddywasperfectandPhilipisprettygreattoo.Shemustbe

doing something right. But I still don’t know what changed, and you can’t say it’s because Daddy died
becausethatdidn’tchangewhoMamais.”

“I’mnotsurethatanysinglethingchanged.Itwasme,youknow?ItwastheSummerafterDaddydied,

andwewereherelikenothingwasdifferent.MamawasgettingmarriedtoPhilip,andImetWill.Itwas
everything.” Layla was there when it was happening, but she was so young. Of course she didn’t
understandwhatwasgoingonrightbeforehereyes.

“Well,AnnaLynne,that’swhatIwantyoutotellmeabout,then.”Shesettlesbackintoherchairand

crossesherlegs.

“What?”Iask,notsurewhatshemeans.
“Tellmeeverything.”
Ilaughandcockmyhead.“It’stoolongofastory.”
“ThewayIseeit,wehaveafullpitcherofdrinksandanafternoonfullofnothingbuttalking.Ilike

longstories.Wehardlyknoweachotheranymore,andI’malwaystalkingaboutmyself.Yourturn.”

Ilookatherforasecond,thensmile.“Allright,Layla,I’lltellyou.First,I’mgoingtofillourglasses,

andthenyoushouldgetcomfortable.We’regonnabehereuntilthelightnin’bugscomeout.”

Then

You’dthinkthatifanyyearwasgoingtobedifferent,thiswouldbetheone.ButMamalikedtoliveas

thoughnothinghadchanged,eventhougheverythingwasdifferentnow.ItwasarelieftobewithGrams
forthesummeragain,farbetterthanbeinghomewithallthememories.

Butwhyintheworlddidwehavetocomehereonourfirstnight?AndwhydidMamahavetobring

himwithus?Itwastraditionforustocometotheyachtclubfordinneronourfirstnightofsummerbreak
every year. Mama always said it was easier to eat out after traveling so long, but it was really so that
societywouldseewewerehereandshecouldstartmakingplansfortherestofSummer.Usuallythearm
that she was hanging on belonged to Daddy. But Daddy wasn’t here. Daddy wasn’t anywhere except
maybe heaven. Of course, that didn’t mean that Mama had the right to bring Philip, her new boyfriend,
whenmyfatherwasbarelycoldintheground.Philip,withthecheesywhitesmileandthephonylaugh.
MythoughtsturnedahatefulcornerasIwasstandingbythehostessstandwaitingforthelastfewdishes
onourtabletobeclearedbeforewewereseated.

“Mama,Ihavetousetherestroom,”camethevoiceofmybabysister.Eightyearsold,withflaming

redhairandapersonalitytomatch,shewasreallyoldenoughtodothattypeofthingbyherself—notthat
shewould.Ilookedatourmotherexpectantly;Iknewwhatwascoming.

“Anna Lynne, why don’t you take Layla to the powder room to wash up? I’m sure the table will be

readybythetimeyougetback,”mymothertoldme,asIknewshewould,brushingbothhandsdownher
pink skirt to make sure it was straight. Layla was my unofficial responsibility when we were out since
Mama didn’t want her image to be ruined by holding hands with a sticky child in public—even if that
childhappenedtobehers.

“Fine.ComeonLayla.”Thewordswereclipped,butIwasn’tthatirritated.Mybabysisterreached

herhanduptoholdmineeventhoughshewastoooldtoalwaysbeholdinghandslikethis.Ididn’tmind
though, she was the only cheerful thing I had these days, and if keeping her happy meant holding hands
then it was something I was glad to do. We walked around the corner to the smaller bathrooms by the
kitchenbecausetheywerealwayslesscrowdedand,sincenaturedidn’tcallme,Ijustwashedmyhands
and told Layla I’d be waiting outside the door for her next to the huge potted plant that was by the
restroom.

Ileanedagainstthewallknowingshe’dtakeawhile.Itwasabusynight;therewereserversrunning

allovertheplaceonthissideofthediningarea.OntheothersideoftheficusIwasstandingnexttowas
adiscreetlyplacedservingstation.Otherplaceshadwirerackstoholdplates,cups,andnapkins,butnot
here;theClubhadabuilt-in,stone-inlaidstationthatlookedmorelikeitbelongedinsomeone'sprivate
kitchenthanhere.Icouldhearacoupleoftheworkersstandingaroundthestation,asitwasoutofsightof
themaindininghall.Icouldn’treallyseethem,sincetheplantnexttomewaspartiallyblockingmyview,
butIhadnoproblemeavesdroppingontheirconversation.

“—goingtobethere.It’sgoingtobeepic,youdefinitelyhavetocome!”saidagirlwithaslowaccent

andahighvoice.

“Idon’tknow,thecopsalwaysbreakupthegoodfieldparties.”Thiswasfromaguy.Hisvoicewas

deepandasdelectableasthickchocolatemousseandIcaughtmyselfleaningforwardtoseeifhehada
facetomatch.

“No,that’sthething!It’sfarenoughoutoftownthatthenearestneighborisoutofhearingdistance!No

complaints—”thegirlhadherbacktomeandwasstilltalkingbutIdidn’thearawordshesaidafterthat;
I’dcaughtsightofthevelvetysoundingguyandfeltmymouthgodry.Ormaybeitwasdrybecauseit’d
fallen open. The boy was gorgeous. Like, Abercrombie model kind of hot. Light brown hair just long
enoughtofallaroundhisears,perfectlyframingthedarkblueeyesthatmademethinkofthedeepnessof
the sky right before the sun started to rise. The rolled up white sleeves of his shirt showed off a clear

definitiontohisforearmsthatIsuspectedwouldmatchtherestofhisbody.WhenmyeyesmethisIcould
onlystarelikeadeerintheheadlights.IrealizedhowcrazyIlooked,withmybuttstillpressedagainst
thewall,mytorsostretchedoutandmyheadbarelypeakingaroundthebush,butIcouldn’tmakemyself
move.

“Alldone!I’mhungry,doyouthinkourtableisreadyyet?”Laylaasked,hervoicefinallydrawingme

outofthemesmerizinggazeofthestranger.Islammedmybodyback,pretendingIdidn’theartherough
laughatmybehavior,andtookmysisterbacktothetablewhereMamaandPhilipwereseated.Icouldn’t
helpbutlookaroundwhenIsat,hopingforanotherglimpse,eventhoughIwassureI’dmadeafoolof
myself.

Ihelpedmyselftoapieceofthedarkbreadwhenitwasbrought.Mamawastalking,asshe’dbeen

doing since we sat down, and I just wasn’t in the mood for whatever she was saying. To keep myself
awakethroughoursaladcourseItriedtocatchsightofmymysteryboy.Lookingformywhitewhalewas
a lot more fun, besides. Especially when you add in the difficulty of making it seem like you’re paying
attentiontotheconversationatthetableandnotactinglikeacrazystalker.WhenIfinallycaughtsightof
him,Imanagedtokeepmymouthshutandmychindrool-free,andwasevenrewardedwithalittlewink
as he walked by. He was carting around a bus-tub with ease, even though I could see it was quickly
filling.

“AnnaLynne,areyoulisteningtome?”Mamainterruptedmyogling.
“Sorry,Mama.”Itoremyeyesawayandmadethemlookintomymother’sbrownorbs.SheandPhilip

wereholdinghandsonthetable,andsuddenlyIfeltalittlenauseous.Lord,butIwantedacigarette.

“Iwassaying,AnnaLynne,IwanttotalktoyougirlsaboutthethemeofourannualpartythisFriday,”

shesaidwhileItriedtodiscreetlyfeelaroundthepurseinmylapforalittlestickofheaven.“Thisyear
hasbeenveryhardforourfamily–”Aha!Ifoundone!Now,justwheretosmokeit?“Andyougirlshave
handledthissituationsowell.Ithinkwe’reoverdueforalittlehappiness,don’tyou?”TheonlyplaceI
seeisthefrontpatio,butsmoking’snotallowedoutthere.

Irealizedshepausedforaresponse,andnoddedmyheadbeforeitregisteredwhatallshehadbeen

saying.“Situation?”DidshereallyjustcallDaddydyingasituation? But Layla was sitting next to me
grinningandnoddingherhead,soIdecidednottocausethesceneIdesperatelywantedto.“SureMama,”
IansweredaspolitelyasIcouldmanage,whichwasn’tverysinceitwasaccompaniedbyaneyerollI
justcouldn’tholdback.

“Ohgood!”Sheclaspedherhands,stillholdingPhilipsohisarmwaspulledawkwardlyawayfrom

him.“I’mjustsogladyoubothfeelthatway,becauseitturnsoutwehavegoodcausetobehappy!Our
partythisFridayisgoingtobeacelebration!Philiphasaskedmetomarryhim,andI’vesaidyes!”

Whatthehell?IstoodupbeforeIcouldstopmyself.“Areyouserious?”
My mother plastered a huge smile on her face and leaned forward. “Of course I’m serious! You sit

yourbottominthatchairandtrytosaysomethingnice.Thisisagoodthing,AnnaLynne,”shesaidwitha
lowvoiceandclenchedteethsonoonecouldoverhearherwordsbutthoseofusatthetable.

I did what she said, but pushed my chair a few inches further away and crossed my arms over my

chest.“It’snotagoodthing!Thisiswaytoosoon,Mama.Daddy—”

“Your father is gone, and he wouldn’t want us to be moping around for the rest of our lives,” she

snapped,finallycausingatablefullofheadstoturnourway.Icouldfeelmybloodboiling.Howcould
shebesoselfish?ShewasstilltalkingbutallIcouldhearwastherushofbloodinmyears.Thissummer
wasgoingtobetheworstever.Ieyedthepatioagain,wantingtogetawayfromthehorrorsofthecurrent
conversationandwassurprisedtoseethehotbusboyoutsidewateringtheplantsthatlinedthebanister.
AsifIneededanymoreencouragementforheadingoutthere!

Iexpertly glossed mylips with myfavorite Smashbox color andstood up. “Ineed some air.” Then,

withoutwaitingforpermission,IwalkedawayfromthetableandouttheglassdoorshopingIwouldn’t

bestopped.ThespotIchosewasoutofviewfrommymother'stable,andonlyacoupleplantsawayfrom
mymysteryman.Iwasn’tnormallysoobvious,butIwasinneedofadistraction—aneedthathadbeen
gettingmeintoquiteabitoftroublethepastseveralmonths.

Takingacigoutofmypurse,Icasuallyplaceditbetweenmylipsandmadeabigdealaboutlooking

formylighter.WhenIsawtheguyinmyperipherals,Iknewmyployhadworked,andturnedmyhead
withtheexpectationsofseeingsomesortoffire-starterheldoutforme.

“Ma’am, the dining area is non-smoking only,” he said, in that same heady voice I’d heard before.

Apparently,myploydidn’tworkafterall,andhewasjustdoinghisjob.

Disappointed, I threw the cig back in my purse, and turned my body to his. Well, at least he wasn’t

stillwateringtheplants.

Hecrossedhisarmsoverhischest,makingmyfaceheatalittlewhenInoticed,again,howfreaking

definedhisarmswere.“So,whatwereyoudoingearlier?YouknowIsawyou.You’renotverygoodat
beingsneaky.”Thesideofhismouthwasquirkedintoasmileandhiseyesseemedtobelaughingatmea
little.

Ihopedmyfacedidn’tlookasredasitfelt,butItriedtohidemyembarrassmentofthefactthatI’d

beentryingtocatchaglimpseofhim.“ObviouslyIwasn’ttryingtospy.I’manexpertatsneakingwhenI
choosetobe.”‘Expert’wasabitofanexaggeration,notforlackofpracticethough.

“Well,whatwereyoudoing,then?”
“Honestly?” I wasn’t going to be honest. “I was trying to find out more about that party y’all were

talkingabout.”There,thatcouldbethetruth.Infact,Iwasinterested,soitkindofwasthetruth.

“Really?”HisraisedeyebrowssaidheknewIwasfibbing.“Idon’tthinkapartylikethatwouldbe

yourcupoftea.”

“How would you know? Maybe it’s exactly my cup of tea.” I put a hand on my hip, daring him to

disagree.

“Maybe it is.” He stood there a moment considering, before grabbing my hand and a pen from his

pocket.“MeetmeinfrontofthegateshereonFridayat9:00pm,andwearsomethingalittlemore”—he
paused,givingalonglookatmyoutfitandfindingitlacking—“morecasual.Anddon’tbelate,Princess.”
Whenheletgoofmyhand,Isawhisnameandphonenumberinkedonmywrist.“Incaseyouchangeyour
mind.”

“Oh,Iwon’tbechangingmymind,”Ilookedonmywristtoreadhisname,“Will.”
“Good.I’llseeyouonFridaythen,”helookedatthemonogrametchedontomypurse,“Al.”
“Myname’sAnnaLynne,”Icorrected.A.L.CartwrightwasonthemetalplateonthepurseDaddyhad

orderedspecialformybirthdaythepreviousyear.

“IlikeAlbetter.”Hesmiledatme,andmyheartfeltlikebutter.
“Anna Lynne! Mama says to come back in. Our dinner just arrived.” Layla was half out the door,

callinginavoiceloudenoughfortheentirediningroomtohear.

“I’vegottogetback.I’llbeseeingyou,”Itoldhim.Hetippedaninvisiblehatmyway,andIwent

inside.Icouldn’thelpbutlookovermyshoulder,though,andwaspleasedtoseehewasstillinthesame
spotwatchingmewalkaway.

Maybethissummerwouldn’tbesobad,afterall.

Now

“Wait,Ididn’tknowyousmoked!”Laylainterrupts.
“Well,youwouldhavegoneandtoldMamaifyou’dknown,andthewholepointwastodoitbehind

herback.”Ileanbackandtakeanothersipofmydrinktosoothemydryingthroat.

“Oh,shewould’vebeenlivid!Shealwayssaidshe’dmakeuseatawholepackifsheevercaughtus

smoking.Iwassoterrifiedofthathappening,I’veneversomuchastouchedone!”

“You’resmarterthanIam,then.Theywereabeasttoquit.”Ishudderedfromthememory.Iwasn’t

much of a smoker back then; it was mostly to look cool. But it picked up to a pretty solid habit after
college.ThankGodfornicotinepatches.

“So, that’s how you met Will? I always wondered. I forgot he was a busboy at the Club, I mostly

rememberhimworkinginthekitchen.Butthatwasafteryouhadgoneaway.Hewouldalwayssendmea
little petit fours on the house when we’d come. Of course, you never really came back until now, so I
guessyouneverknewthat.”

ItwarmsmyhearttoknowhekepttakingcareofmybabysisterafterIleft.Hetoldmeoncethathe

hadasoftspotforprincesses,andbackthentherewasnogreaterprincessthanLayla.

“So,didyougo?Totheparty,thatis.”InoticethatLaylaisstirringtheiceinhercupwitharedand

whitestraw,theexacttypethatGramsalwayskeptinthehouse.

“Oh,Iwentallright.”

Then

Icouldn’twaittogetoutofthere.Ilookedaroundatallthefakepeople,withtheirfakesmilesand

fakelaughs,andhadtofighttheurgetoscream.ThethoughtofsneakingoutsoonandmeetingWillwas
the only thing keeping me sane; was the only thing that had kept me sane in the days leading up to this
party.Ididn’twantMamatobesuspicioussoIplayedthepartofhappy,dotingdaughtertheentiretime.

Yes,I’mveryexcitedtohelpMamaplanherwedding.
OfcourseDaddywouldwantustomoveon.
IdefinitelyknowhowluckyIamthatPhilipiswillingtobeastepfathertomeandmysister.
Killmenow.
Thepartywasinfullswing,andcheckingtheclockonthewallforthemillionthtimeshowedthatI

wasgoingtobelateifIdidn’tstartheadingoutsoon.EverytimeImadethemovetoheadupthestairs,
someonepulledmeawaytotalk.Ihadtobitetheinsideofmycheekstokeepfromtalkingsomanytimes
thatIwasprettysureIcouldtasteblood.Apparentlyeveryonefelttheneedtohaveaprivateconversation
withmeabouthowgreatmyfatherwas,howsadtheyweretohearabouthisdeath,andwhateverlame
excusetheyhadastowhytheycouldn’tmakeittothefuneral,butwere“thereinspirit.”

“Asifwewantedtheirshallowlittlespiritstakingupalltheseats.”Gramssidleduptomeassoonas

Ishookthelastguestfrommyside.

Ismiledather,almostgenuinely.“IfonlyDaddyknewhowmanypeopleconsideredhimoneoftheir

closest friends. I swear, that last one didn’t even know his name!” I rolled my eyes and would have
laughedifIhadn’tfeltsomuchlikecrying.Itmadememadtothinkallthesepeopleweretalkingabout
himliketheyknewhim.Asiftheyactuallycared,whentheydidn’t.Iftheycaredsomuch,wherewere
they when Daddy got diagnosed this past Fall? Where were they during the too-few months that he
struggledtostaywithusinthehospital?

Daddydyingtaughtmeahardlesson:mostpeoplearefullofshit,andtheoneswhoaren’taretaken

awayfromyou.

“Well,tobefair,theonlynamesthatMrs.Beauchampremembersareofmenwhomshe’stakentennis

lessonsfrom.”

“Orpaintinglessons.”
“OrSpanish.”
ThistimeIdidlaugh,becauseeveryoneknewaboutMrs.Beauchampandherconstantpursuitof“self

improvement,” as she called it. Everyone except, perhaps, Mr. Beauchamp. I looked at the clock again
andsighed.

“Running late for something, sweetheart?” Grams asked. I shook my head no, and flinched. She

wouldn’t leave my side if she thought I was about to sneak out of the house. Grams looked at me for a
second, then called my mother over. I made a move to leave, but she grabbed hold of my elbow firm
enoughthatIcouldn’tshakeherwithoutbeingrude.

“Lilian,IthinkitmightbetimeyouputLaylatobed.Shecanbarelykeephereyesopen,”Gramssaid

once Mama got close. My baby sister did look pretty tired in her pink polka dot party dress; she was
noddingoffonthesofawithaplatefullofsnacksinherlap.Daddyusedtobetheonetoputustobed
whenMamawasentertaining.NotbecauseMamawasbeingneglectful,oratleastIdidn’tseeitthatway
whenIwaslittle,Daddyjustlikedtogetawayforaminuteandenjoythequiet.Takingcareofbedtime
wastheperfectexcusetodothatwithoutbeingrudetotheguests.

IsawMamacheckthewatchonherwrist,thenlookaroundagainatthepartyinfullswing.“Mother,

doyouthinkyoucan—”

“Oh,IthinkIseeTomwavingmeover.MaybeAnnaLynnecantakecareofitforyou.”Gramslooked

atme.“AnnaLynne,asIwassayingbefore,Ijustputairinthebiketiresifyouwanttogoforaride…in

the morning.” She winked at me, then walked off in Tom’s direction, who I was quite certain didn’t
actuallywaveheroveratall.Thewomanwasofficiallythebestgrandmotherever.

MamalookedoveratmeandsmiledhersweetsmilethatIusedtopracticeinthemirrortolookmore

like her. “Anna Lynne, do you mind? When you come back down, I’ll let you have a small glass of
champagne,”shebribedme.

AsifIhadn’talreadysnucktwo.
“Surething,Mama.I’lltakecareofit,”Isaidenthusiastically.Shenarrowedhereyes;perhapsIwasa

little too enthusiastic about it. I had to think quick. “It’s not like I’m having a good time or anything,” I
addedundermybreath.

Thesuspicionleftmymother’sface.“AnnaLynne,ifyou’regoingtohaveanattitude,maybeyouneed

toputyourselftobedaswell.”

IrolledmyeyesandfoughtnottosmilewhileIwalkedovertomysisterandwokeherupenoughto

followmeupthestairs.

Jammies,teeth,andachapterfromPeterPanwasallittooktogetLaylatobed,asleep.Itonlytook

abouttwentyminutes,butitwastwentyminutesIdidn’thave.

Iwasgoingtobelate,evenwithtakingthebikeinsteadofwalkingover.Irantomyroomandchanged

frommysilkskirttoapairoflowrisejeans,tossedapairofsandalsinthefirstbagIsaw,andclimbed
down the Magnolia tree that was stationed outside my bedroom window like a bad cliche from a good
movie.

Idon’tthinkIeverbikedsofastinmylife.Somethingaboutbeinglatewithhimreallybuggedme.I

wasafraidhe’dleavemebehind,andthatwassomethingIdidn’tthinkmypridewouldbeabletohandle.
WhenIfinallygotthere,Willwasleaningagainsttheblackmetalfencethatguardedtheentrywaytothe
Club.Hewaswearingadarkhoodie,maybeblue,withthehoodupsomostofhisfacewasinshadows.I
couldseehiseyesthough,andcouldtellthathewassmiling—probablylaughing.Istoppedthebikeonce
Iwasinfrontofhimbutdidn’tsayanythingandneitherdidhe.Suddenly,Iwasembarrassedbymyride
and, looking at his smirking face, I hated him a little. He walked over to where I was, close enough to
touch,andwhenheleanedoverabitIcouldseethathissmilewasinfullviewnow.MaybeIdidn’thate
him…washeabouttokissme?Iwasn’tmadattheidea.

DingDing.
Thebastardrangthelittlebellonmygrandma’sbikeandsmiledinstead.
“Cute bike,” he said. The voice that I thought sounded like heaven a few days before was now

mockingme.

Iputoneofmybarefeetonthepedalandwasabouttorideoffwhenhelaughedandheldfirmtothe

handlebar.

“Aw,Iwasjustkidding.Doyouhavealockforthatthing?Idon’tthinkit’llfitinmycar.”Henodded

overtoanoldrustbucketthatdidn’tlookworththegasolineittooktofillthetankwith.

Imademyselfletgoofmyembarrassment,knowingIwasoverreactingtohisteasing.“Yeah,istherea

bikerack?”

“Notonthissideofthegates.Justlockitupbehindthosebushes,”hedirected.
Selfconsciously,becausehewasstillstandingsocloseandmadenoattempttohidehisgaze,Igotoff

thebikeandrolledittowherehe’dpointed.OnceIwasdonelockingit,Ipulledmysandalsoutofmy
bagandslippedthemon,thenturnedandjumped.Hehadfollowedmepart-waybehindthebushandwas
lookingcriticallyatme.Again.

“What?”Iasked.
“Itoldyoutodresscasually.”
“I’mwearingjeans!”
“You’rewearingadamncardigan!Isthatsilk?”

“No,”Ilied.Iknewthecardiganandcamisolesetweretoonicetoweartoaparty,butIhadn’thad

time to change more than my pants. “I can take it off, it’s not like I don’t have a cami on underneath. I
don’tthinkI’llneedasweatertonight,anyway.”Toprovemypoint,Ipulledoffmycardigan,rolleditup,
andshoveditinmypurse,refusingtothinkaboutallthewrinklesIwasputtinginit.Itwasearlysummer
though,andthenightswerestillalittlecool.

Heraisedaneyebrowatme,thenlookedatthegoosefleshontheskinthatmylaceycamididn’tcover.

Sighing,hepulledhishoodieoff,andItriednottostarewhentheT-shirtunderneathrodeupalittleand
showedaverynicelytonedtummy.

“Here,takeit.”Heheldthehoodieouttome.
“I’mfine.”Itwasn’tthatcold,itwasjustgoingtotakeaminuteformetoadjust.
“Just put it on.” He smiled. “You know you want it. Besides, it might be best if you don’t show so

much…skinwherewe’regoing.”

“It’s just a tank top! I bet half the girls there will be wearing them.” I grabbed his hoodie anyway

though.Hewasright,Ididwantit.

“Yeah,buthalfthegirlstheredon’tlookhalfasgoodasyoudointhem.”Heturnedaround,makingthe

compliment seem less complimentary. Still, I blushed and followed him where he was standing on the
passengersideofhiscar.

“Won’tyougetcold?”IaskedhimonceIcaughtup.
Heleanedforwardagain,reachingaroundmetograbthehandleofthedoortoopenandIgotawhiff

of whatever cologne he was wearing. When he stood back up, his eyes were locked on mine. “I don’t
thinkthatwillbeaproblem.”

Iblushedthentossedhissweatshirtonbeforesittinginthecar.WhileIwatchedhimjogaroundtoget

behindthewheel,Ifoughttokeepmyhandsstillandthegrinoffofmyface.Itwasn’tcooltobeexcited
aboutaparty—oraboy.

Now

“Oh,man.I can’tmakeup mymindif hewaskind ofa jerkorjust beinghunky.He openedthecar

doorforyou?”

Ilaughatmysister’sinterruption.Atthetime,Icouldn’tmakeupmymindaboutiteither.LaterIfound

outheputonabitofajerkshowtokeeppeopleatarm'slength.Ilearnedtojudgehimbyhisactionsand
theconsiderationbehindhiseyeswhenwewerewithotherpeople,especiallywhenhiswordsseemed
uncaring.Whenwewerealone,ofcourse,evenhiswordswouldshowthegentlespirithehidfromthe
world.

“Yes,Willwasalwaysagentlemen.Ithinkitwasbecausehewassoclosetohissister.”
“Becausehissisterwouldbeathimifhewereadog?”Laylaasks.
“No,thoughshewoulddefinitelyhavedonethat.Jillwasn’tafraidofanyone.Hejustdidn’twanthis

sistertogowithaguywhotreatedherlikecrap,andhewastheclosestthingshehadtoarolemodel,so
hehadtoactright.Youknow,beanexampleofthetypeofguysheshouldbewith.Theirdadwasn’t—”

“Yeah,Iremember.”
We both sit in silence for a minute. Will and Jillian didn’t have an easy time of it growing up. I’d

never met two siblings who were closer—they were all the other had for so long. Hands down, they’d
beenbestfriends.

Ilookatmyownsisterandsmile.NowthatI’mbackforgood,maybewecouldbelikethattoo.

Then

Weparkednexttotheentranceofalongdirtroadthatfedintoalargefield.Theclosestcarwasat

leastafootballfieldaway,andinthedistanceIcouldseebonfiresandcrowdsofpeople.

“Why’dweparksofaraway?”Iaskedaswemadeourwaytowardtheparty.Ididn’tmindthewalk,

actually.Ialwaysgotalittlenervousapproachingcrowdslikethat,andthewalkwouldgivemetimeto
mentallyprepare.

“These get busted by the cops a lot. I’d rather not have my car blocked in when that happens.” He

lookedatmesideways.“You’reafastrunner?”

Igrinned.Iwasonthetrackteaminmiddleschool,andhadafewmedalslockedawayinadrawerto

proveit.Itradedmytrackshoesforpom-pomsonceIhithighschool,butIwasstillfast.

“I’draceyou,butIhaveafeelingyou’dbeasoreloser.”
Heshoulderbumpedme.“Isthatright?”
I gave a noncommittal shrug and smiled. We were close enough now to hear some conversations

aroundus.

Willlookedover.“Don’tgetlost,okay?”
“Why, afraid you’ll miss me?” I kept my eyes forward and hoped he didn’t see through my false

bravado.There’snowayIwasleavinghissidetonight.Ididn’tknowanyone.Ididn’tevenknowhim.
Whatifheleftmehere?Ididn’tevenknowwhereIwas!HowwouldIgethome?WhatamIdoing?

Yup,I’dbeonhimlikewhiteonricetonight.
Iheardhimlaughbesideme.“IactuallythinkImight,”hesaid,beforealongpairoflegsjumpedon

himfrombehindandalmosttoppledhimtotheground.

“Will!Ididn’tknowyou’dbecoming.”Avoicegiggledwhilehecaughthisbalance.
“Jilly,whatareyoudoinghere?”heaskedthegirloncehegotheroffhisback.Istoodawkwardlyto

theside.Embarrassmentandangerwarredfortopemotion.Whywouldhetakemetoapartyifhehada
girlfriend?Unlesshemeanttotakemejustasfriends,andIhadcompletelymisreadhisflirtybehavior.

No, this girl was obviously an ex. She had to be, because if she were a girlfriend, then he’d have

alreadyintroducedussoshewouldn’tbesuspicious.

“Um,drinking?”Sheputahandonherhip.
“Jilly!”Willsoundedoutraged.Whatwashappening?
“Who’sthegirl?”Jillyasked,noddingmyway,aslowsmilecreepinguponherface.
“Uh, this is Al.” He took a step back to include me in the conversation. “Al, this is my baby sister,

Jilly.”

Ireachedahandforwardandgrinned.Whew,notcompetition,andthatwasagoodthing.Iwasn’tsure

Icouldcompetewiththetall,darkhaired,andwillowyJilly.

“Actually,it’sAnnaLynne.It’snicetomeetyou,Jilly.”
I ignored the look she exchanged with her brother. “He gave you an annoying nickname, too?” Her

handshake was firm—the type of handshake that Daddy would have approved of. “He must really like
you.MynameisreallyJillian,orJill.WillistheonlyonewhocallsmeJilly.”

I was glad it was dark, because declaring her brother must “really like me” made me blush, even

thoughIknewitwasn’ttruesincehe’dcoinedmewiththenameafteronemeeting.Still,Iwasgladofa
nicknamefromhimifitwasn’tsomethinghedidforeveryone.

“Whoareyouherewith,Jilly?”Willasked,voicelow.
“Cooldown,Will.Ididn’trelapse.Carolinedecidedweneededagirls’nightandsinceJackusually

worksFridaynights,wedecidedtocomeoutbeforehegetsoff.”

“Whattimedoeshegetoff?”Willsoundedlikeacopdrillingasuspect.
“Usuallyaroundmidnight.Don’tworry,we’rejusthangingforalittlewhile,thenwe’regoingbackto

our place to watch Clueless and eat ice cream. We’ll be gone before Jack-the-jerk will be here.” Jill
pausedforasecond,narrowinghereyesatherbrother.“Ithinkit’dbeagoodideaifyoudidthesame.”

A tenseness I didn’t realize was in Will’s shoulders released at hearing his sister say that. “Don’t

worryaboutme,Jilly.Iwon’tdoanythingstupid.”

“Mmhmm.”Jilldidn’tlooklikeshebelievedhim.Shelookedatme.“I’mholdingyouresponsiblefor

him.He’sanidiot.Don’tlethimactlikeit,okay?”

“Hey,Idon’tneedababysitter—”
“Hey, I’m no babysitter—” Will and I started talking at the same time, looked at each other, and

smiled.

Jill laughed. “Y’all are adorable. Well, my cup is empty and I’m thirsty. I’ll see you later.” She

winked,thendashedawaytoasmallgroupofgirls.

Wewerebothquietforaminute,awkwardlyso.
“Yoursisterseemsnice,”Ifinallysaid,turningtolookathimandstartledtoseehe’dbeenstaringat

me.

“Sheis,”hesaid.
“Um,areyouguysclose?”
Finally he broke eye contact and looked at his sister where she was laughing with her friends. “Of

course,”hesaid,beforereturninghisgazebacktome.“Aren’tyouclosetoyoursister?”

IwantedtosaysomethingsarcasticabouthowLaylawasjustababy,orhowannoyingshewas—but

thewayhewaslookingatme,Icouldonlysaythetruth.“She’smyfavoriteperson.”

HesmiledsogenuinelyhiseyescrinkledupandIfeltmyselfsmileinreturn.
Icaughtawhiffofbeersecondsbeforeanarmwasslungaroundmyshoulder.“Heydude,who’sthe

babe?”thestrangerwhoownedtheoffendingarmaskedWill,notevenlookingmywayeventhoughhis
armwasdrapedaroundmeasifwewereBFF’s.

Dude?Babe?Really?How…Keanu.
“Landon,getoffofher,”Willsaid.“Al,thisisLandon.”
Landonheldoutahand,easynowthatitwasn’twrappedaroundme.“Officialbestfriendtothisguy.

Andcousin.We’recousins.”Hisvoicewasalittleslurry.

“We’renotcousins,”Willsaid,deadpan.
“Well,weoughttobe,Cuz.”Landonmovedtolookatme,turninghisbodysothathewasactuallyin

betweenWillandmyself.“Wannagomakeout?”

“OhmyGod,Landongogetsomewaterorsomething.You’rewasted.”
“No,s’fine.Iwasjustpointingoutthatyougotyourselfafinepiece...”
“Don’tevenfinishthatsentence,bucko,”Isaid.Iwasn’ta“finepiece”ofanything.ButIlaughed,too.

Somehow I knew he wasn’t being serious, and was just trying to get a rise out of his friend/surrogate
“cousin.”

Willmovedtoscratchhisface,butIthinkhewasreallytryingtocoverthesmileonhisface.
“And fiesty! When you’re done with this bozo, feel free to hit me up.” Landon winked at me, then

turned and tried to give Will a high five—he missed—and walked a few feet away, slinking his arm
aroundanothergirlinthesamewayhe’ddonewithme.

“I’dapologizeforLandon,butitshouldbeobviousthathe’saprettysorryguy,”Willsaid,scooting

closeagain.

“Veryobvious.So,he’syourbestfriend?”
“Damn straight I’m his best friend!” Landon yelled, pulling the girl he had in a half headlock back

towardsmeandWill,anddraggingthesmallgroupofpeopleshe’dbeentalkingtowithhim.

Willbroughtbothhandsupthistimetorubhisface,withoutthesmile.“DearGod,”Iheardhimmutter

beforeheturnedaroundtostandnexttomeandfacethenewpeople.

“Will! I’m so glad you actually came. You never come to parties anymore,” one girl said with a

familiarvoice.IthoughtshemustbeoneofthewaitressesfromtheClub.

Heshruggedashoulderinsteadofresponding.
“And he brought himself a woman!” Landon fake whispered into the ear of the girl he was still

accosting.InoticedwithastartitwasJill.Shedidn’tseemtomindthough,andgaveherownlittlegiggle
athiswords.

“Landy,don’tembarrasshim.”Sheslappedhischest,hereyesfullofadorationasshelookedathim.

Shefinallyshookhisarmoffofher,thoughshedidn’tlooklikeshewantedto.

“SinceitlookslikeWillisbeingrude,thisisChris,Susan,Caroline,Tommy,andJean.Guys,thisis

AnnaLynne,”sheintroduced.“YoualreadyknowLandon.Wedon’treallyhaveagoodexcuseforhim,”
shesaidthelastbitinanotherloudwhisper.

“SoI’veheard,”Isaidwithasmile.Ilikedher,already.
“Iwasgoingtointroduceher,youknow,”Willsaid,almostpoutingbesideme.
“Noyouweren’t.Whatyouweregoingtodoisgogetusladiessomedrinks.”Jillheldupanempty

cupandwaveditaround,andthegirlsbehindherfollowedsuit.

Willnarrowedhiseyes.“WasI?”
Landon stumbled over and patted his shoulder. “We both were, man. The ladies are thirsty.” He

eyeballedmeagain.“Besides,CaraLynnedoesn’thaveadrinkandwedon’twantsomeotherguytothink
it’shisresponsibilitytobringherone.”

“Hernameis‘AnnaLynne’youidiot,”Jillsaidwhilerollinghereyes.
IturnedtolookatWilltoseewhathisreactionwas,andhadtosuckinabreath.Hewaslookingatme

—staringatmereally.

“Wedefinitelydon’twantthat,Landon,”hefinallysaidwhileIwastrying,andfailing,topullmyeyes

outofhisgaze.

HeandLandonwalkedoffbeforeIwasabletosuccessfullylookaway.Turningtolookforwardatthe

circleofstrangersIwasnowincludedin,IwashappytoseethatonlyonepersonseemedtonoticeI’d
hadalittlestaringproblem.

Of course, that person was his sister, and I got the feeling that when it came to her brother, there

wasn’tathingthatshemissed.

Iignoredmyblushandattemptedtofollowtheconversationathand,tryingnottobeoverwhelmedby

allthestrangers.ThiswasmyfirsttimefeelinganyrealanxietyaboutbeingaroundpeopleIdidn’tknow,
other than a touch of nerves beforehand. This was my first time hanging out with people like this. I’d
neverbeentoabonfirebefore,orapartyinafield.

Heck,I’dneverevenbeentoapartywithpublicschoolkids,andIhadafunnyfeelingthatWilland

his friends weren’t enrolled in the local private school. I didn’t know how to act around them. I knew
how to impress boys with shiny new cars, and make small talk with girls who had their daddy’s credit
card.ItwastheworldthatI’dbeenraisedin,andwhileIlookedaroundatthesepeopleandsawthem
bellylaughingatancientinsidejokesandgiveeachothershoulderbumps,Icouldn’thelpbutnoticethe
starkdifferencesbetweenthispartyandtheoneI’dditched.

The smiles weren’t faked and the conversation wasn’t stilted to impress. And I wanted to impress

these people—I wanted them to like me. I could already see myself liking them. They seemed genuine,
andIwasonlyrecentlybeginningtorealizethattheonlygenuinepeopleinmylifehadbeenmyfatherand
Grams,andDaddywasdead.

Afterwhatseemedlikeaneternityofstandingaroundandfeelinglikeanout-of-placeloser,Willand

Landon came back with the drinks to a chorus of squeals. I noticed that Will had only gotten a bottled
waterforhimself,andbecauseofthatIdecidedthatIwouldnursemybeer.IhadafeelingWillwouldn’t
beatallimpressedwiththealcoholtoleranceI’dbuiltupoverthepastfewmonths.

“Havingfun,yet?”Willaskedafewminutesafterhandingmemydrinkandpolitelylisteningtothe

conversationathand.

I looked around. Was I having fun? Well, I wasn’t not having fun. My thought was interrupted by a

splashofliquidonmytoes,asputterofindignation,andriotouslaughter.

“Oops,Landy,itslipped.”
“Howdoesabeerslipoutofyourhandandwinduppouredovermyhead?”Landon,nowdrenched

withwhatappearedtobeJillian’sbeer,soundedalotmoresoberthanhehadafewminutesbefore.

“Okay,itdidn’tslip.Justlikeyourhanddidn’tjustslipandtouchJean’sasstensecondsago.”Jillian

wasfiredup,andwhileLandon’sdunkofliquidmayhavebroughthimtohissensesalittle,Jillianclearly
didn’texperiencethesamesoberingeffect.Hereyeshadaglassyqualitythatwasn’ttherewhenwefirst
met.

Willnoticedthesame.“Jillian,maybeit’stimeyouwenthome.”
“Maybeit’stimeyougoscrewyourselfWill.ItwasnicemeetingyouAnnaLynne.SorryifIgotyour

feetwet.”SheglareddaggersatLandon.“C’mon.”Jilliannoddedherheadtoherfriendsand,withthem
trailingbehind,walkedbacktowherethekegwaslocatedifthecrowdofpeoplesurroundingitwereany
indication.

“Well, that was an overreaction,” a bewildered Landon said, rubbing both hands through his hair

quicklyenoughtoclearsomeofthebeeroutofit.

“Yougrabbedherfriend’sass,Landon.Howdidyouthinkshewasgoingtoreact?”
“Um,betterthanthat?It’snotlikeIgrabbedherbutt.”
Willsmiledawickedlittlesmile.“Becausewhatwouldhappenifyougrabbedherbutt?”
“She’dprobablycastrateme.”Landonfrowned.
“It’shardtocastrateadeadman,Landon.”
LandonsmiledandpushedWillonhisshoulder.“Yeahright,Will.Youknowme.YouwishJillywas

withsomeoneasawesomeasIam.”Hegaveasad,confusedlookbacktowardswhereJillwas,thoughI
couldn’tseeherthroughthecrowd.“MaybeIshouldgoapologize,orsomething.”

“Probablybeagoodidea,champ,”Willsaiditseriously,buttherewassomethingabouthisfacethat

letmeknowhewaspokingfunathisfriendabit.Landondidn’tseewhatIsaw,noddedhisheadand,
withachestpuffedupwithbravado,startedwalkingtowardsthecrowd.

“Justremember,Landon.Apologizetothegirlyouassaultedfirst,thentoJillian,”Icalledouttohim

beforehegottoofar.

Landonstoppedandlookedatme.“Goodthinking.Wait,whyamIapologizingtoJillagain?”
“Formakingherwasteherbeer,”Willsaid,smileclearinhiseyes.
Landonsmackedhisheadasifthatwerethemostobviousthingintheworld,thenstartedhismarch

again.

Oncehewasfarenoughaway,IlookedatWill.“So,hehasnoideathatyoursisterhasahugecrushon

him?”

“He’sneverbeentoobright,andthankGodforthat.I’dhatetohavetokillhim.Heismycousin,after

all.”

“Ithoughtyousaid—”
“Well,he’smypretendcousin.”
“Youdefinitelyshouldn’tkillyourpretendcousin,”IsmiledasIsaidit.
Hesmiledback.“Pretendcousinsarereallyrare,youknow.”
“Ibelieveit.Everyonehasrealcousins,butIdon’tthinkI’veeverheardofsomeonehavingapretend

onebefore.”

“Ugh,thereyouare!”Jillian’svoicesaid,poppingupoutofnowhere.
“Wehaven’tmoved,Jilly.DidLandonalreadyapologize?”WillaskedhissisterwhileIleanedcloser.

Iwassurewhatevershewasgoingtosayaboutthatwasgoingtobehilarious.

“Who?No,it’sjustlaterthanIthoughtandIreallywanttogetoutofherebeforeIseeJack—Ijust

overheardsomeonesayhewasheadingherenow.Carolineismeetingmeatthecarsinceshehastotrack
downZaneforthecarkeysbeforewecanleave.Heforgottogivethembackaftertheicerun.Anyway,
don’tmakemewalktothecaralone.”

“OfcourseI’llwalkyouover.”Will’seyeswerewarmwhenhelookedathissister,andIcouldseea

senseofurgencycomeoverhiminthetensenessofhisshoulders.

Relieffloodedhereyes.“You’rethebest.Thankyou.It’snotthatfar,weparkedrightnexttotheroad

sowewouldn’tgetblockedinbytheothercarsandJackwoulddefinitelyseemeifhecomesinwhile
I’m walking. Five minutes, tops, and you guys will be back to your probably awkward first date
conversations.”

Iblushed,butknewneitherofthemcouldseeit.Iactuallyhadapressingmattertoattendtomyself.

“Uh,youguysgoahead.I’mgoingtograbmyselfarefillwhileyou’regone.”

Will looked at me, and he looked annoyed. “You can get a refill when we get back, you know. It

probablywon’teventakefiveminutes.”

“Will, her cup is still full. She probably has to pee. Bladder time is worse than dog years. Five

minuteswillbelike,Idon’tknow,twentyyearsorsomethingifshehastogo.She’llbefine.”

This time when Will looked at me, I could see laughter in his eyes. “Well, the bathroom is

convenientlylocatedinthebarnwiththekegs,ifthat’syourrealreasonforstayingbehind.”

“Aladynevertells,”Itoldhim.“ItwasreallynicemeetingyouJillian.”
“I’msureI’llbeseeingyouaroundagain,”shesaid,elbowingherbrother.
I smiled then watched them walk away for all of three seconds before I succumbed to a little potty

danceandabriskwalktothebarn.

Ineverknewhowlongthelinewas,becausebeforeIevenwalkedintothebarn,aguywithadouchey

ponytailstoodinfrontofmeholdingoutanotherfullredsolo.

“Here,Iliketocarryaspareforjustsuchanoccasion.”Theguysmiledarathercharmingsmilewith

lotsofwhiteeventeeth,butIwasstillannoyed.Ialreadyhadahalffullbeer,andaveryfullbladder.

“Thanks,butIwas—”
Heinterruptedme,takingastepcloserandpushingthecupuptomyfaceasifIcouldgrabthething

withmynose.“It’sfine,really.It’sevenstillcold.”

“Hey Jack, I have a great place you can shove that beer.” I was relieved to hear Landon's voice

coming to my rescue. Well, I was relieved until he put one of his arms around me again, thereby
preventingmyplantoactuallyrelievemyself.

The guy, Jack, took one full step back, no longer crowding my personal space. “Why the hostility,

Landon?Notmyfaultyoudidn’tthinktograbyourgirladrink,andit’sdefinitelynotmyfaultthatshe’s
beeneyeingmesinceIgothere.”

Myjawdropped.“Whatareyou,thevillageidiot?”Ididn’thavetimeforthisnonsense.“Ifyouwould

excuseme,I’mtryingto—”

“Isthereaproblemhere?”ThistimeitwasWill’svoice,muchdeeperthanI’dheardit.
Landoncasuallydroppedhisarmfrommyshoulder.“Apparentlythevillageidiothereisevendumber

thanpreviouslythought.”

“Isthatso?”Will’shandswerefistedathisside,andsuddenlymybladderwasforgotten.“Areyou

okay,Al?”heaskedwithhiseyesstilllockedonJack.

“Woah,c’monWill.Ofcourseshe’sokay.Shelookedalittlelost,andit’snotagoodideaforagirlto

beunattendedinapartythissize.”

“Yeah,someonemightslipsomethinginherdrinkorsomething,”Landonsaid,eyeingthecupthatthe

guyhadjustbeentryingtoshoveatme.

“Don’ttellmeyoubelievethatcrapstory.Lookman,youknowhowgirls—”
Will’sbodytensedinawayI’donlyeverseenontheDiscoveryChannelwhenasnakewasaboutto

attackaparticularlyjuicyrodent,andbeforeIcouldeventhinkaboutit,hehalf-launchedhimselfatJack-
Ass.

Imaynothavehadtimetothinkaboutit,butapparentlymybodyhadtimetoreactinaverystupid

way;mybodytwirleditselfinbetweenWillandJacksogracefullythatmyoldballetteacherwouldhave
been proud. I was close to Will, close enough to feel the heat of his body, and with the type of slow
movementthatyouusewithastraydog,Iliftedmyarmandplacedmyhandaroundthebackofhisneck
andthebaseofhisskull,justenoughtopullhisgazetome.Hewascaughtbymyeyes,Icouldtell,andI
didn’tknowifitwasbecausehewassoshockedbythephysicalcontact,orthathe’dbeenabouttopunch
someguyintheface,butIknewIneededtosaysomethingtoconvincehimthatbeatingupJackwouldbe
abadidea.Somethingpoignant,andelegant,andwouldlethimsavefacewhilemakingmeseemutterly
coolandsexy.

“Ihavetopee,”Isaidinstead.Facepalm.
Somethinginhisposturereleased,andthesenseofdangerdissipated.Willraisedoneeyebrowand

thatlittlemischievousglintwasthereinhiseyesagain.Therewasstillsomethingdarkinthemaswell—
somethingthatwashurtingandangry,andsoveryviolent.HiseyesflickedtoJackstandingbehindme,
thenlockedbackontomine.

“Well,let’sgofindyouabathroomthen,”Willsaid,reachingtograbmyhandandleadingmeaway.
Landonfellintostepbesideus.“Thankgoodnessforsmallbladders!”
Ididn’tcomment,justfocusedonwalkingandnotwettingmyself.“Thebathroomisthatway,Will.I

don’tthinkyouunderstandexactlyhowbadlyIhavetogo.”

“Uh,it’snotagoodideaforthosetwotogetface-to-faceagain,”Landontoldme,speakingforWill

whoonlyincreasedhispace.

IwantedtoaskwhoJackwas,andwhathehadtodowithJillian,butbasedonthewayWillhadacted

aroundhim,Iwasn’tsureitwasagoodidea.MaybewhenLandonwasn’taround.

WehadbeenwalkingtowardsWill’scar,butthedirectionhadchangedslightlytowardsthetreeline

withoutmynoticinguntilwewereapproachingthewoods.Maybeheknewaboutanotherbuildingwitha
bathroomoverthere.

Aswegotclosertothetreesthough,Ididn’tseeanybuilding.Ididn’tseeanythingbuttrees,andI

startedtoslowmypace,pullingWillsincehehadn’tletgoofmyhand.IstartedgettingaweirdStranger
Dangervibe,andIthoughtbacktoallthemovieswherethegirlgetsmurderedinthewoods.

“Wherearewegoing?”MyvoicesqueakedwhenIasked.Goingoffalonewithstrangerswasabad

idea.Verybadidea.Iwasgoingtogetmyselfkilled,andmyonlyrevengewouldbetheknowledgethat
mymurdererswouldbecoveredinurinebythetimetheyweredone.

“Ithoughtyouhadtogotothebathroom,”Willsaid.
“Yeah,butIdon’tseeonearoundhere.”
Landonstartedlaughing.“Iseeaboutamillionofthem,Princess.”Then,beforeIcouldprocesswhat

the heck he was talking about, he walked a few paces away, turned around to face a tree, and the next
thingIknewmyearswerefilledwiththesoundofazipperbeingundoneandanincrediblyloudstream
hittingthetree.

I turned around, even though I couldn’t see anything but his back, and barely that because it was so

dark.“That’sdisgusting!Youcouldhavewarnedme,Landon.”Iwantedtoprotest.I’dnever,notoncein
my life, peed outside. Even when we went camping, there were proper facilities. Landon calling me
“princess”irkedmethough,andIdidn’twantWilltothinkIwasasprissyasIprobablywas.Shovingmy
inhibitions deep, deep down, I pulled my phone out and flipped it open to use as a dim flashlight, then
walkeddeeperintothewoods.

“Don’t go too far, Al,” Will called, and he didn’t have to explain why my going into the woods by

myselfwasabadidea.ApparentlymyimaginationwasplentygoodatconvincingmeIwasgoingtoget
killedinthewoodsallonitsown.

Once I was sure I was far enough away, I put my phone back in my purse which I then hung on a

convenientlylocatedbranch,droppedmyjeansandsquatteddownwithmylegsasfarapartasIcouldget
themwithoutfalling.

Nothingcame,andIrealizedmyfacefeltflushedwithembarrassment.
“Uh,canyouguyshearme?”Iasked,usingmynormalspeakingvoice.
“Loudandclear,everythingokay?”Willanswered.
“Doyouneedahand?”Landon,theperv,asked.
IttookaminutebeforeIcouldrespond.“Canyouguyshumorsomething?”
Silence met my ears, followed by what sounded like the start of laughter then a muffled “oomph.”

FinallyoneofthemstartedhummingthetunefromMarioBros,andtheothersoonjoinedin.

OnceIwasdone,Isilentlycursedmymotherforbeingrightaboutkeepingawellstockedpurseatthe

sametimebeingthankfulforthetraveltissuesandhandsanitizersheinsistedIkeepinthere.Iusedfar
moreofboththanwastypicallynecessary,andtherewasnowayIwasputtingthoseflipflopsbackon,
ever.Ew.

When I walked back, neither boy commented on my now lack of shoes, for which I was thankful.

Maybetheydidn’tnotice.

“Ican’tbelieveyourgirlfriendjustpeedinthewoods.Whataclassydame.”LandonelbowedWillas

wewalkedbacktowardsWill’scar.

“Okay,Sinatra.”
“I’mnothis—”IquicklyshutmymouthsinceWillhadn’topenedhistoprotest.Iknewweweren’ta

coupleafteroneveryodddate,butitsoundedgoodtobecalledsuch.

We got to the car, and when Will held the passenger door open, I stood like a doofus waiting for

Landontogetinfirstandclimbintothebackseat.

“Yougettinginorwhat,Allie?”
“Alliestillisn’tmyname,”Itoldhim,crossingmyarms.“Isn’tLandongettingin?”Whomakestheir

datesitinthebackseat?

“JusttryingitonforsizeAl,don’tspaz.”Hesmiled,andIcouldn’thelpbutreturnit.“AndLandonis

notgettingin.”

“He’snotdriving,ishe?”
“No,heisnot.Andhedoesn’tlikebeingtalkedaboutlikehe’snotevenhere,”Landonpipedin.
“Doesheknowit’srudetobuttintoaprivateconversation?”IsmiledathimtoshowIwasjoking,

thenlaughedatthewayheclutchedhisheartlikeI’dhurthim.

“Ouch, man.” Will’s smile was all for me. “No, Landon lives about a mile down the street. He can

walkhome,”Willtoldme.

“Ibroughtmybike,dude.Besides,I’mnotquitedonewiththeparty.Iwanttoseeifthere’sanyone

interested in riding the handlebars back to my place.” He winked and saluted us then sauntered back
towardsthelightofthebonfires.“Itwasnicemeetingyou,AnnaLynne!”hecalledback,notbotheringto
turnaround.

ItwasjustmeandWillnow,andhewasstillholdingthedooropen.Iignoredwhateverawkwardness

Iwasfeelingsincetherewasagoodchanceitwasimaginary,andsatinthecar.

“Youhadshoesonbefore,didn’tyou?”Willaskedonceheshutmydoorandgotbehindthewheel.
“Idon’twanttotalkaboutit.”
“ThenIwon’task,”hesaid,withanall-too-knowingsmile.

Now

“Ohmygosh,Ican’tbelieveyoupeedinthewoodsonyourfirstdate!”
“It was either that or wet myself.” I smiled at the memory, though. All of my memories with Will

broughtasmiletomyface.Well,mostofthemdid.

“WhatwasupwiththatJackguy?Hesoundslikeagrade-Adouchebag.”Shepausesforasecond.

“Oh,wasthattheguy...?”Laylatrailsoff.Idon’tblameher.Talkingaboutwhathappened—whathedid,
isgoingtobehard.I’mnotlookingforwardtothatpartofthestory.

Inod.“Hewasalotworsethanthat.Ididn’tknowitatthetime,buthe’dbeendatingJillianonand

off for a while. Apparently a couple weeks before the party, Landon came across Jack trying to take
advantage of her. She was passed out cold; Jack claimed she was just drunk, but Jillian never
remembered having more than one drink. He’d been an ass to her before that, breaking up with her
becauseshewouldn’tputoutthengettingbacktogetherwithherafterafewdays,butIguessthatwasthe
finalstrawwhenshefoundoutthenextday.”

IfrownwhileIrememberJack.IfonlythathadbeentheonlytimeIsawhisslimyfacethatsummer,

buthekeptafterJillianlikeabloodhoundonafox.Itakeagulpofmydrink,andeasebackintomystory.

Then

Wewereinthecarfornearlyfiveminutesbeforeeitherofussaidanotherword.
“That guy back there, he didn’t do anything…” Will trailed off like he was unsure how to form the

questionhewantedtoask.

“No, no, no, nothing other than annoy me. He seemed pretty harmless—besides the overwhelming

douchiness.”

“He’snotharmless.”Therewassomethingelsehewantedtosay,butitwaslikehehadtotalkhimself

into it. “Look, you’re a big girl and I don’t want you to think I’m telling you what to do, but Jack isn’t
someoneyoushouldhangaroundwith.NotthatIthinkyouweregoingtohangoutwithhim.Imean,do
whatyouwant,ofcourse,justbecarefulifhe’saround—evenifhe’sjustatthesamepartyorwhatever.
He’snotagoodguy.”

“Ididgetthatimpression.IshethereasonJillianleftearly?”WillnoddedeventhoughIalreadyknew

theanswertothat.“Whatdidhedoforyouguystoactthatwayaroundhim,andwhatdidithavetodo
withadrink?”IhadasickfeelingIalreadyknewtheanswertothatone,too,butdidn’twanttojumpto
conclusions.

Willstaredattheroadaheadofhim,notrespondingforawhile.“Shehasgoodreasontowanttostay

awayfromhim,butit’snotmystorytotell.Justbecarefularoundhim,okay?”

Inoddedmyheadandtriednottoaskanymorequestionsaboutit.Helookedhauntedenough,andI

realizedbelatedlythatIdidn’twanttheremainderofournightspentdwellingonbadthoughts.

I looked around and realized we’d passed the Club by a few miles, and were approaching the

neighborhoodthatmygrandmotherlivedin.

“Wherearewegoing?”
“I’mtakingyouhome.”
“Oh,Iwasjustgoingtobikebackhome.Youdon’thavetodrivemeallthewayback.”Ididn’twant

toexplainthatIdidn’tactuallyhavepermissiontobeout.Itwouldbealoteasiersneakingbackintothe
housewithoutanoisybeaterpullingintothedriveway.“HowdoyouknowwhereIlive,anyway?”

“Smalltownandyourgrandmaisalocal.EveryoneknowswhereMissAnnalives,sodon’treadtoo

muchintoit.Andit’swellpastmidnightandI’mnotcomfortablelettingyourideyourbikehome,alone,
thistimeofnight.Ifyouinsist,thenI’llgodropyouoffandfollowyoubacktoyourdoor.Iassumedyou
hadacarandwouldhavedriven.IfI’dknowndifferently,Iwouldhaveaskedtopickyouup,aswell.”

“That’sreallynotnecessary.I’msureI’llbefine,Idon’twanttoputyouout.“
“There’salsothefactthatIhadagoodtimetonight.You’reinteresting,Al.I’dliketogettoknowyou

betterandgooutagain,whichmeansthisiskindofafirstdate.Imakeapointofalwayswalkingmydates
backtotheirdoor.”

He thought I was interesting? That meant he liked me, right? I tried not to overthink the fact that he

calledthenight“kindofadate,”andfocusedinsteadonthefactthathewantedtogooutagain.

“Oh,” I finally said, praying that everyone would be sound asleep at the house so I could sneak in

withoutanyonethewiser.

Iwasn’tsolucky.ThehousewasstilllituplikeaChristmastreeandthedrivewaystillhadafewcars

oflate-leavingparty-goers.Okay,breathe.Maybehewasn’tseriousaboutwalkingmeallthewaytothe
doorandIcouldstillsneakaroundtothesidewhenhedroveaway.

Willgotoutofthecarandwalkedaroundtoopenmydoor,nixingthatplanbeforeitfullyformed.I

smiledanervoussmileathimandgotup,gladhedidn’treachformyhandsinceitwasnowcoveredin
sweat.Okay,awalktothedoorwasfine.Itwasn’tlikehewasgoingtowaituntilIwentinside.Icould
juststandthereandwatchhimdriveaway.Thatwasanormalthingtodo,right?Wegottothefrontporch,
andsuddenlyIrememberedwhatfrontporcheswerefor.

Theywereforkissing.
Why was I worried about how I was getting inside when I should have been worried about the

freakingkissing?Myhandswerenolongermerelysweaty—theywerenowfountainsofwater.Sincemy
mouthwasnowalsobonedry,Icouldonlyassumethatthemoisturefrommymouthhadsomehowbeen
divertedtomypalms.

Willlookedatmelikeheknewexactlywhatwasgoingthroughmyhead.Ormaybethatwastheway

healwayslooked.

“Didyouditchyourownpartytocomeoutwithmetonight,Al?”
“Mymom’sparty,”IcorrectedwithaneyerollIcouldn’tholdin.
“I wish you had said something.” He sounded a little sad, or guilty, or something. “We could have

goneoutanothernight.”

“Ioweyouabigfat‘Thankyou’forgivingmeareasontoleave.Seriously.”
“Well,Ihopeyouhadfun.”Helookeddownathisfeet,thenupatmyeyesagain.“I,uh,Ihadfun.”
Ohmygoodness,hewasnervous.Hewasnervous,andknowingthattheguywho’dactedcoolasa

cucumber,outsideofhislittlerageymoment,wasnervouscrackedmyfaceintoagrin.

Italsomademefeelpowerful,andalittleemboldened.Imeanttosay“metoo,”likeanormalperson

would.Instead,Ileanedforwardandkissedhimrightonthemouth.Mostlyonthemouth;sinceIwentin
quickandwasn’tproperlyaimedIhitthecornerofhislipsratherthanthesmoochbullseye.

Itwasjustasmallpeck,really—Ididn’tevengivehimenoughtimetorespondbeforeIsteppedback

withaflamingface.

He grabbed my grossly damp hand, pulled me back, and really laid one on me. His lips were

considerablysofterthanIexpected,andhishandhoverednexttomycheeklikehedidn’tknowwhattodo
withit.Thekissdidn’tlastlong,butitwasdefinitelymorethanthepeckI’dgivenhim.Mypulsewas
racing.

Whenwepulledapart,thesuaveversionofhimwasbackandhewassmilingagain.
“So,thatmeansyou’dliketogooutwithmeagain,right?”
“Absolutely.Imean,sure.”Itriedtogofornonchalant,butwasbadatfakingit.Ihadanurgetoreach

upandtouchmylips,butresistedsinceWillwouldprobablythinkIwasaweirdoifIdid.

“WhencanIseeyouagain?”
“Prettymuchwhenever,really.”AtleastIhopedmymomhadn’tplannedanythingformeyet.
“Doyouthinkyou’dbeupforanearlymorningtomorrow?”
“Idon’tthinkthatwillbeaproblem.”Ithoughtforaminute.“Wait,howearly?”
“8:00amtooearly?”
Ididn’tlookatmyphone,knowingitwouldsaysomethingwellpastmidnight.Ilikedmysleep,butI

likedtheideaofseeingWillagainsosoonevenmore.Nappingwasalwaysanoption,anyway.

“Soundsperfect.Whatarewedoingsoearly?”
“You’ll find out. Think you can manage to find a ride to meet me at the bakery on Boardwalk?” he

asked.

“YumsBuns?Yeah,Icanmakethathappen.”ItwasafavoriteofGrams,soIdoubtedIwouldhavea

hardtimeconvincinghertodropmeover.

“I’llseeyouthere,then,”hesaid,thenjuststaredatme.
Iknewhewaswaitingformetogoinside,buttherewasnowayIcouldwalkthroughthatfrontdoor

undetected,soIjuststoodtheretoo,lookingathimlookingatme.Likeadork.

“YoudoknowIcan’treallyleaveuntilIseeyou’resafelyinside,right?”
“Oh, uh, I’m fine.” Think fast Anna Lynne. “I was thinking of maybe sitting on the porch for a few

minutes.Youknow,uh,it’sprobablystillkindaloudinthere,”Ipulledoutmycellphone,“andIneedto
makeaphonecall.”Thatwasalmostplausible.

Ornot.
Willnarrowedhiseyesatme.“Doyourparentsknowyou’reoutrightnow?”
Thefrontdooropenedandasmallcrowdofpeopleambledout,usheredbythelastpersonIwantedto

seerightthen.“AnnaLynne,Ithoughtyouwenttoyourroomhoursago,”Mamasaidonceallthepeople
from the party were out of hearing distance. Her words weren’t slurred or anything, but there was
somethinginhereyesthattoldmeshe’dpolishedoffquiteafewglassesofwhatevershe’dhadtodrink
thatnight.

Ihadnoideawhattosay.Ididn’twanttolie.Well,thatwasalie.Idesperatelywantedtolie,butI

hadreasontobelievethatWillwoulddisapprove—andIcouldn’tthinkofaplausibleone.Iopenedmy
mouth,hopingthatinspirationwouldstrikebytheveryactofspeaking.

Willcametomyrescue.“Itwasmyfault,ma’am.Iwasdroppingafriendoffintheareaandknew

AnnaLynnelivedoverhere.Shementionedalittlegathering,andIcalledhopingshewasstillawakeand
thatIcouldstopbyforaminutetointroducemyself.”Myhero.

“Andwhoareyou?”Mamaasked.Philip,whoIhadn’tnoticedbefore,cametolooselywrapanarm

aroundherwaist.

“I’mWillAnderson.AlandImetattheClubearlierthisweek,whereIwork.Iliketobeabitupfront

about things, and just wanted to let y’all know, as her parents, that I’d like to take her out. That is, of
course,ifthat’sokaywithy’all.”Hesentalittleglaremyway,andIknewhedidn’tlikelyingforme,and
hecertainlydidn’tlikemelyingaboutgoingoutwithhimeither.

Philip reached out a hand to shake Will’s as if he were really my parent or something. I wanted to

protest,butIbitmytongue.Unfortunately,MamawouldtakeitbadlyifIsaidsomethinginsulting,andI
didn’tneedherforbiddingmefromgoingouttomorrow.

“Oh,AnnaLynnedidn’tmentionmakinganyfriendsattheClub!”Mamagavemethetypeofsmilethat

said“he’scute.”Onceuponatime,Iwouldhaverespondedwitharaiseofmyeyebrowsinan“Iknow,
right?”

Butweweren’tcloselikethatanymore,anditwasn’tmyfaultshehadn’ttakenthehint.
“Whereareyouplanningontakingher?”Philipasked,armscrossedinfrontofhischestinanalpha

maleposethatlookedentirelywrongonhim.

“We were going to meet tomorrow morning at the bakery on the boardwalk, around eight, if Anna

Lynnecanmanagearide,sir.”

Philiplookedathiswatchandgrimaced.“That’snottoofarofffromnow,butIthinkIcantoteyou

overifyoulike.”

I tried not to notice how uncertain he sounded; I wouldn’t be won over by a quick ride offer, but

Mama’seyeslitupliketheFourthofJuly.Ihadtosaysomething.“IwasgoingtoaskGrams,sheloves
thatplaceandIhaven’thadachancetoreallyvisitwithhersincewe’vebeenback…”Itrailedoffatthe
end. I desperately didn’t want to ride with Philip, and knew Mama wouldn’t deny my hanging out with
GramsoverPhilip.

“Okay, but if she isn’t able to, the offer stands,” Philip told me, reaching awkwardly over with one

handlikehewasgoingtopatmyshoulderorsomethingbeforehethoughtbetterofit.

“Ithinkthatwillbejustfine,Will.Youseemtobeaniceyoungman.We’lljustgobackinsideandlet

youtwosortoutthedetails.”Mamasentanotherwinkmyway,thendraggedPhilipwithherbackinside.

IturnedtoWill,hopingtheglarewasgone.
Itwasn’t.
“I’mnotthekindofguywhoappreciatesbeingkeptsecret.Ifthere’ssomethingyoufindembarrassing

about going out with me, then you shouldn’t go out with me. Same goes if you think I’m some sort of
teenagerebellionorwhateveryouClubgirlsthinkaboutthelocals.”

Wellshit.“Iwasn’tkeepingyouasecret.Ijustdidn’tthinkMamawouldletmecomeouttonightandI

didn’tthinkyou’dgivemearaincheck.”Ihuffed.“Idon’tknowwhatyoulocalsthinkabout‘Clubgirls’
but I’m not a snob and neither is my family.” I crossed my arms and let a bit of ‘tude creep into my
posture. It was true, too. Daddy didn’t have any money when he met Mama. He worked his butt off all
throughcollege.Hewassmartanditwasn’tlongbeforehislawdegreepaidoff.Mamastilltalksabout
the“paupersapartment”theylivedintheirfirstthreeyearsofmarriage,sincesheagreedtonotspendher
owntrustfundonahouseuntilDaddycouldaffordtohelpprovideforit.Ofcourse,she’dproudlysay
sheneveragreedtonotuseanyofthemoneyontheotherfinerthings.Theircrappylittleapartmentwas
probablythemostnicelyfurnishedapartmentinthewholeSouth,andshehadparkedanicelittleBMW
nexttoDaddy’soldbeater.

Helookedatme,consideringforaminute.“Haveabitmoreconfidenceinyourownallure,AllieCat.

Therewouldhavebeenaraincheckofferedifyoucouldn’tmakeit.Idon’tlikelying,Al,andIdon’tlike
beingliedtoorabout.”

“Doesthismeantomorrowiscanceled?”
“No,itmeansthenexttimeIdropyouoff,don’tletmypresencecomeasasurprise.”
Theporchlightsflickered,andIknewitwasMamaorPhilipsignalingformetocomeinside.Ididn’t

knowwhattosay.Ononehand,Iwasalittleashamed,andthat’snotanemotionIwasusedtofeeling.
MaybeitwasbecausehefeltlikeI’dbeembarrassedbyhim.Ithadn’toccurredtome,andthefactthat
thethoughthadcrossedhismindmademealittlemadandsadatthesametime.

Hemusthaveseensomethingcrossmyfacebecausehiseyessoftenedandhetookastepcloser.“Hey,

Ididn’tmeantosoundsoharsh.”

“No,Iunderstand.Justremember,keepingmyMothercompletelyinformedofmywhereaboutsmeans

Iwon’tbequiteasavailableasI’dotherwisebe.”

“I’lljusthavetodealwiththat,won’tI?”Heraisedoneeyebrow.“Besides,ifit’snotenoughtime,

I’lljusthavetowinheroverwithmycharmingpersonalitysoshe’llletyououtmore.”

“MaybeIwon’twanttoseeyoumore.”IchuckledbeforeIevenfinishedthesentence,waytoouncool

topulloffthe“hardtoget”thing.“Shelivesforcompliments,”Iwhisperedloudly.

The lights flickered again. We stared at each other for a minute, then he leaned in for an incredibly

awkwardhugwhichstillmanagedtogetmybloodboiling.Ugh,beingateenagermadenosenseatall.

“If I was certain there weren’t eyes on the other side of that window, I’d try for another kiss right

aboutnow,”hewhisperedinmyear,hotbreathsendinggoosefleshdownmyspine.Ididn’thaveanything
tosayotherthan“metoo,”soIjuststayedquietandblushedmywaybackinside.

Now

“Wellifthatwasn’tthesweetestthing,”Laylasays.
“Whatwas?”I’mpulledoutofmemorylane.
“Hecoveredforyou!Mamawouldhavetannedyourhideifshe’dcaughtyousneakingout.”
“Don’tIknowit.”ThenexttimeI’dsnuckouthadverydifferentrepercussions,butLaylawantedthe

wholestory,andtellingthatbitofitwouldbeskippingquiteabitahead.

“Washereallymad,though?Imean,sneakingoutisparforthecoursewhenyou’reateenager,right?”

Laylaasks.

“Whendidyousneakout?”Iask,hearinganundertoneofadultinessinmyvoicethatIdidn’tknowI

possessed.

“Oh,Imayhavestretchedmywingsatimeortwo,whichisnotcurrentlythetopicofconversation.”

Shegivesmeapointedlook.

“Idon’tthink‘mad’isexactlytherightword,buthecertainlyprizedhonesty.”
“Ithinkthatpaintsalovelypictureofhim.Hunkyboy,barelyamanyetprizesintegrityand—”
Ilaugh.“Layla,areyoutellingthestorynow?”
“Noway.I’mjustsaying,hewasonlyhalf-grownandalreadyknewhowtobehonorable.Ilikethat,

don’tyou?”

I don’t say anything, only take another sip of my drink. The fact is, Will’s sense of honor ended up

bitingmeinthebutt.Itwasoneofthethingsthatmostattractedmetohim,buthisstaunchideasonright
andwronghadlittleroomforcompromise,andevenlessforforgiving.Itwasmorethanjustanideology
forhim,itwasadefensemechanism—oratleast,I’mprettysurethat’swhatmytherapistwouldhavesaid
aboutit.

“Hello,EarthtoAnnaLynne,”Laylasaysafterafewmomentsofmynotresponding.
“Sorry,justgettingstuckinmyownthoughts.”
“Clearly.Anythingyoucaretoshare?”
“It’snothingyouwon’thearaboutifyoushutyourmouthandletmefinishmystory.”IsmileasIsayit

though,soLaylaknowsI’mkidding.

“What’sstoppingyou?”sheasks.

Then

Iwokeupbeforemyalarmthenextday,whichwasdumbbecausethatmeantIhadatotaloffourhours

ofsleep.Unabletodozeoffformylasttenminutes,Ihoppedoutofbedandgotready.

It turned out those ten extra minutes were necessary while I agonized over what in my wardrobe

wouldbecasualenough,beforeIdecidedthatifWillthoughtIwastoofancyinwhatIconsideredcasual
clothes,thenhewasajerk.IputonapairofLuckyBrandjeanshorts(jeanshortsarealwayscasual),and
ablueplaidbuttonupthatItiedinaknotatmywaist,showingjustenoughofmybellyandremindingme
ofEllyMaefromtheBeverlyHillbilliesmovie.Ihadasoftspotforgirlswithtwofirstnames,andElly
Maewasabadass.

WhenIwascertainmyponytailwascompletelybumpless,Irandownstairs.Gramswassittingatthe

kitchenbarreadingherpaperlikeIknewshewouldbe.

“You’reupearly,buttercup.Didyouhaveafunsneak-outlastnight?”Gramsaskedwithoutlooking

up.

Ihoppedontothecounterbesideherandgrabbedagrapefromherplate.Iknewbetterthantodenyor

confirm her suspicions, so I ignored her comment completely. “A friend invited me to Yums Buns this
morningandIwaswonderingifyoucouldtakemeover.”

“Would that be the same friend who dropped off the bike I loaned you as I was getting up this

morning?”Gramsfinallyfoldedthepaperandplaceditnexttoherplateandlookedupatme.

Willmusthavedonethat,thoughIdon’tknowhowheknewthecodetounlockitfromthefenceatthe

Club.Iwasevenmoresurprisedthathewasapparentlyawakebeforemygrandmotherthismorning,since
she woke up around the same time as the sun did most mornings. Either way, since I’d completely
forgottenaboutthebike,Ismiledwarmlyandnoddedmyhead,happyhe’dbeenthoughtfulenoughtodo
that.

“Well,Ithinkthatwouldbefine.I’vebeenmeaningtogooverandgrabmyselfoneofthosedelicious

cinnamonbuns,anyway.”Shelookedoverattheovenclockandjumpedup.“We’dbesthurryifwewant
tobeattherush!”

Gramslovedhersweets.Shedidn’teatthemallthetimeoranything,sheactuallyateprettyhealthyfor

anoldSouthernwoman,butshedefinitelywasknowntotreatherselfnowandthen.

“Idon’thavetobethereuntileight,Grams.”
“Well,you’reabouttobealittleearly,becauseI’mnotdrivingyoujusttohavethemselloutbeforeI

getthere.Nowbeagoodgirlandputyourshoeson.”Likelightning,Gramsgrabbedherpurseandwas
outthedoortowaitinthecarforme.Igrabbedmytennisshoesandranoutafterherbarefoot,laughingat
herimpatientexpression.

Gramwasrighttohurry.Bythetimeweparked,therewasalinealmostoutthedoorofthebakery,

and I was only about ten minutes early. Once we were inside, I looked anxiously around for Will,
wonderingifhehadatablealreadyorifIshouldwaitoutsideforhim.

Iwassuddenlybombardedwithahug.“AnnaLynne!IheardaboutwhathappenedlastnightwithJack.

Iamsosorry,areyouokay?”

TherandomhuggerwasJillian,whowaswearingalittleblackwaitressapronandhadasmallcrease

betweenherbrows.

“Yeah,I’mfine,”Isaid,stillrecoveringfromthewarmwelcome.“Oh,GramsthisisJillian.Jillian

thisisAnnalisaBell,myGrams.”Irememberedmymannersandintroducethem.

“Oh,Mrs.Bellisaregular.It’sgoodtoseeyouagainma’am!Ididn’trealizeyouwereMrs.Bell’s

granddaughter.”

“Jillian,dear,howmanytimesdoIhavetotellyouthatyoucancallmeAnna.”
Jillian put a hand on her hip. “I’ll compromise and call you Miss Anna, and that’s as casual as I’m

willingtogo.”

Gramslaughed.“Ithinkthatwillbefine,honey.”
Jilliansmiled,andIwasstruckagainathowlovelyshewas.“Good!Now,I’mgoingtohavetosteal

AnnaLynnefromyou.Mybrother’sinthebackwaitingforherandhe’selbow-deepinicingrightnow.”

“YoutellWillIsaidhi,andAnnaLynne,youjustcallwhenyouneedaridebackhome.”
“Uh,okayGrams.Thanks.”IwasalittleoverwhelmedbyGramsknowingWillandJillian,butJillian

wasdraggingmebythehandthroughaswingingdoorthatclearlystated“EmployeesOnly.”

I’d never been in an industrial kitchen before. It was much noisier than I anticipated, and everyone

seemedtohaveatasktodo.Jillianweavedusthroughpeople,occasionallyshouting“behind”untilwe
wereatalongtablefilledwithsheetpansofcinnamonbuns.Thensheabandonedme,callingbackabout
droppingticketsoffathertables.Okay,abandonedwasn’texactlyaccurate,sinceWillwashunchedover,
intentlyicingrollafterroll.Istoodandwatchedhim,amusedathowcutehelookedinhiswhiteapron
andrubbergloves.Itwasn’tuntilhehadtomovebackaninchwhenanotherapronedpersoncameover
andgrabbedthepanhe’djustfinishedoutfromunderhimthathenoticedmypresence.

Iwasgreetedwithasmile.“HeyAl.Sorry,wegotswamped.DangmagazinefeaturedusintheBest

Kept Dining Secrets in the South and the owner didn’t get the message until a customer came in this
morningcarryingacopy.”

“Hey,thankmywifeforgivingtheokayforthearticlewithouttellingme,”calledsomeguyoverhis

shoulderashewalkedby.

Willwashunchedbackover,icingmorecinnamonrolls.“That’sCarl,he’stheowner.Tobefair,his

wife put a lot of work into getting us into the article. Apparently she thought it would be a great
anniversary surprise. Unfortunately, it’s created a bit of a chaotic work week since we’re now short-
staffed.”

“Um,isitokaythatI’mbackhere?MyGramsisprobablystillhere.Icangowaitwithheruntilyou

getoff.”

Willlookedupagainfromhiswork,puttingthepastrybagonthetableandflexinghisfingers.“It’s

fineifyouwannastaybackhere,justtrynottobeunderfoot.Carl’sprettycoolaboutthatsortofthing.”

Carl came back carrying a black apron, which he tossed at me. “If you’re in the kitchen, you work

here.Youhavethetwotablesbythedoor.”Thenhehurriedawayagain.

Will’smouthdroppedopen.“Well,he’susuallyprettycool.Um,don’tworry,youdon’treallyhaveto

do anything. Just go back out and wait, if you don’t mind.” He looked at the clock. “Maybe we should
postponetothisafternoon…”Hetrailedoff,obviouslynotwantingtodothat,butthebustleinthekitchen
didn’tseemtobeslowingdown.

“Icandoit!It’llbefun.”Isaid,tyingtheserver'sapronaroundmywaistandhopingIhadn’tjusttold

alietoWill.Howhardcouldservingtwotablespossiblybe?

Hard.Reallyveryhard.Twotables,andeachonlyheldtwopeople.Iwasatrainwreck.Evenwith

Jilliangivingmearundownofhowthecomputerworkedtoplaceordersandlettingmeborrowthelittle
notebook she used to write down orders, I still managed to muck things up. I probably almost killed a
diabeticbyservingfruitteainsteadofunsweet—luckilyJillianrecognizedthemasregularsanddashed
over with the right drink before they had a chance to complain. I’m fairly certain I short changed one
person,andcompletelyforgottochargeanother.OnetablewalkedclearoutwhenItoldthemwewereout
of Cinnamon Buns. The ones Will had been icing when I got in were long gone, and though they were
makingadoublebatchofmore,thedoughwouldn’tbereadyuntilthefollowingmorning.

Afterthekitchen86’dthecroissants,IwastoldtopushtheBelgianwaffle.Therewerenowaffleson

thebakerymenu,buttheowner’swifemadearuntothestoreandboughtahalfdozenwaffleirons,and
the batter was quick to whip up. The kitchen was desperate. My feet were throbbing, my lower back
aching,andmyheadwasspinningfromadrenaline.

Finally my tables were empty, and no one came to sit in them. Most of the bakery was cleared out

sinceitwasnearinglunchtime.Jilliancameoverwithatiredgrinonherface.

“Well,thatwasfun!”
“That’sonewayofputtingit.”Iwassmilingbackather,though.Throughallthechaos,partofmehad

ablast.

“Newgirl!”theowner,Carl,calledout.
AfteraconfusedlookatJillian,whonoddedherheadtowardCarl,Iwalkedover.
“Haveyoueverworkedintheserviceindustrybefore?”heasked.Ishookmyhead,butdidn’tmention

thefactthatI’dneversomuchashadachore,letaloneajob.

“Good.Ifyouwerethisbadwithexperience,I’dhavetofireyou.Notbadforafirstdaywithzero

training. Get Jillian to show you around properly before you leave. Your shift starts tomorrow at 8:00
a.m., but come thirty minutes early to fill out some paperwork. Bring your Social Security Card and
license.”

Wait, what? It was one thing to work a shift, a completely bizarre thing, but another thing actually

getting a job! Sure, the small wad of cash that was lining my pocket was nice, but it’s not like I didn’t
already have a very generous allowance. I’d never been interested in working before, and I certainly
wasn’tnow.Iopenedmymouthtoverypolitelydeclinetheopportunity,butbeforeIcould,Carlturned
aroundatthesoundofthekitchendoorswingingopen.Willwalkedout.

“Will,lookslikeIhavethoseextrahoursyouwereaskingabout.Behereat7,”Carltoldhimwhenhe

walkedover.

Will’sbrowswentup.“Really?ThanksCarl.I’lltakeanythingyoucangive.”
I kept my mouth shut. Maybe I’d never really wanted a job, and I certainly didn’t need one, but

workingcouldbefun.Momwouldhatetheideaofmyhavingasummerjob.

ThatcoupledwiththeknowledgethatI’dhaveaperfectlynon-stalkerreasontoseeWillmoreoften

settled my mind on the matter. Jillian walking up, throwing her arm around me and dragging me away
furthercementedit.

Workingwouldbegreat.

Now

“So that’s how you got that job. I’d always wondered. I always felt so important when I’d go with

Grams,becausemysisterwasaserver.”Laylastandsupandadjuststheumbrellasoshe’sintheshade.

“Yes. It fell right into my lap, and I was probably the worst server to ever get a paycheck there.” I

smile.CarlwasahugesoftyandIknewhehadasweetspotformeeventhoughIwasconstantlymessing
up.

“That’snothowIrememberit!I’mprettysureyourpictureisstillontheWallofFame.Youknowthey

havenewowners,right?”

Ifrown.“WhathappenedtoCarlandHannah?”
“Earlyretirement.Theysolditto—”
I’msocaughtupinmemories,IsteamrollrightoverwhateveritisthatLaylaisabouttosay.“Ican’t

believetheystillhavemypictureonthewall.”Iknewthepicture.Carltookoneofhisentirestaffthat
summer.Saidhewantedtoremembertheemployeesthatmadetheexpansionpossible;businesswasso
good that summer that he was able to buy the place next door and double the size of his dining room.
Jillian insisted that the three of us—her, Will, and I—be in the same picture. I have my own copy of it
upstairs,liningthemirrorinmyroom.

“Mama wanted you to quit, you know. I remember her and Philip talking about it. She thought you

werespendingtoomuchtimeawayfromhome.Philiptalkedherintolettingyoukeepitthough.Hesaidit
woulddoyougoodtohaveyourownlife,andletyoulearnsomeresponsibility.”

“You’rekidding.”
“No I’m not. They didn’t know I was there. I was in Grams’s den, and I was playing with the old

pokerchipseventhoughIknewIwasn’tsupposedto.IhidunderthedeskwhenIheardthemcoming.I’m
prettysuretheymadeout,too.”

Ilaughatthefacemysistermakesatthatparticularmemory,andsympathize.
ThenIrememberhowbadlyIusedtothinkofPhilipandfeelguilty.MaybenexttimeIcallMama,I’ll

putalittlemoreeffortintomyconversationwithhim.

Then

BythetimeJillianfinishedshowingmewhattodoforside-workandwhereeverythingwas,Willwas

alreadyfinishedandwaitingforusoutside.

He’d changed from the funny black striped pants he’d been wearing to a pair of cargo shorts and t-

shirt,sittingononeoftheparkbenchesthatlinedthepedestrian-onlyboardwalk.Hewasalsocompletely
leanedbackwithhiseyesclosed,lookinglikehewastakingalittlenapwhilehewaited.

Nexttome,Jillianstartedrummagingthroughherpurse,finallypullingoutacigarette.
ThankGod.“DoyoumindifIbumone?”Iaskedher.
“Noproblem.They’rementhol.”Shehandedmeoneandlitup.
I looked at it for a second before lighting it. I used to think they were so gross. We crossed the

boardwalktostandnexttoWillwhenhesatupsuddenlyandlookedatus.

“Ithoughtyouweretryingtoquit,Jillian.”
“Shutup,Will,”shetoldhim.Butseeingthelookinhiseyesashewatchedhersmokingremindedme

of how I used to look at my friends when they smoked. Suddenly I felt like I was licking an ashtray. I
threwmycigarettedownandstompedonitroughly.

“Youstilluptohang?”Willaskedmewhilehestoodupandstretched,botharmshighinthesky.He

musthavereallybeensleeping.

“Absolutely.IfeellikeIsmelllikethebakery,soaslongasthatdoesn’toffendyourdelicatesenses,

I’mgoodtogo.”

“VerylittleoffendsWill’ssenses,AnnaLynne.Mydoublestartsinanotherten.IthinkAnettewilltake

me home, Will, but call up in about an hour just in case, okay? I’d call you, but you’re not going to be
home,areyou?”

“Definitelynot,IpickedupadinnershiftattheClub.I’llcallupheretofindoutifyouneedaride.

JustmakesureCarlwalksyoutwotothecarifit’safterdark.Humorme.”

“Fine.AnnaLynne,I’llseeyoutomorrowmorning.Youguyshavefun.”Jillianwinked,thenwalked

backacrosstheboardwalk.

“Anythinginparticularyouwantedtodo?”Willaskedmeoncehissisterwasbackinsidethebakery.
“Aren’tyousupposedtohavethatfiguredout?”
“Well,Ioriginallyplannedongettingoffwhenyouarrivedandsharingabreakfastontheboardwalk

beforewalkingaround.”Helookedathiswatch.“Butit’slunchtimenow,andIdon’tknowifyou’rein
themoodtowalkaroundafterbeingonyourfeetallmorning.”

“Good point.” My feet certainly were not feeling up to a meandering walk. “My feet thank you for

yourconsideration.”

“Ithinkit’sasmuchformyfeetasforyours.Maybewecansettleforhotdogsandasit-downonthe

beach.It’llhelpwiththeache,Ipromise.”

“The hot dog, or the beach?” I followed him over to a nearby hotdog stand, where he ordered two

dogsandabagofpopcorn.

“Maybeboth,”hesaid,shovingsomenapkinsinhispocket.
After I loaded up my bun with an obscene amount of ketchup, we walked down the boardwalk to a

beach access pier, picking a spot far away from the water and tourists. Will dropped down and
immediatelypeeledoffhissocksandshoes,anddughisfeetintothesand.

“Somuchbetter,”hemumbled,takingahugebiteofhislunch.
Isatnexttohim.Thesandwashotonmythighs,hotenoughtoburnalittlethewaygettingintoahot

tubcanatfirst,butnottoobadonceIgotusedtoit.Icopiedhimandwiggledmybarefeetintothesand,
instantlyunderstandingwhathemeantwhenIpusheddowntothelayerofcoolsandthatwasaboutankle
deep.

Hesmiledoveratmewhenheheardmycontentedsigh.
“SorrythatCarlropedyouintoworking.Youknowyoudon’thavetocomebackifyoudon’twantto,”

hesaid.I’djusttakenahugebiteandhelduponefingerforhimtowaitsoIdidn’tshowhimamouthfull
ofhalf-chewedfood.Youknow,‘causegross.

I swallowed. “I know, but it was kind of fun today. It’s not like I have a full schedule this summer.

Besides,itwillgivemesomethingtodotogetawayfrom…”Itrailedoff.Iwasgoingtosay“awayfrom
Mama,”butmymommyissuesdidn’tseemlikeagoodthingtobringuponaseconddate.

“Yourparentsseemednicelastnight,”Willsaid,maybeguessingwhatIwasabouttosayandfishinga

bit.

“Philipismostdefinitelynotmyparent.Notyet,atleast,”IsaidwithalittlemoreemphasisthanI

intended. Technically a step-parent was a parent of sorts, but I was still holding out hope that Mama
wouldgetboredwithhimandtosshimbackouttosea.

“Oh.”Hestayedquietforaminute,probablyalittleshockedatthevenomoustoneIhadused.
“Daddydiedthispastwinter.Mamadidn’tthinkitnecessarytowaitmorethanafewmonthsbefore

replacinghim,”Isaid,feelinglikeIneededtoexplainthesituationaftermylittleoutburst.“Thepartylast
nightwastocelebratetheirengagement.”

Will didn’t say anything. Well, he might have if I’d given him a chance. I continued. “I mean, she

didn’tevenreallytalktousaboutitbeforetheytoldus.Howtackyisittoburyonehusbandandmarry
anotherinthesamecalendaryear?”Igesturedwithmyhotdog,lettingmyoverabundanceofketchupdrip
onmylegs.

Willhandedmeanapkin.“I’msorrytohearaboutyourDad.”
It didn’t matter how many times I’d heard that, I still didn’t know what to say, so I changed the

subject.

“So,youworkattheClub,andhereatthebakery.Exactlyhowmanyjobsdoyouhave?”Iaskedhim.
“NowthatCarlisgoingtogivememorehours,onlytwo.Iwaspickingupsomelandscapingwork

whentheyneededthehelp,butitsucks.GladIgettocallMannyandlethimknowIdon’tneedthework
anymore.”Hefinishedoffhishotdogandleanedbackagainsthiselbows.

“Jeez,threejobs?Howoldareyou?Areyousavingforcollege?”
He stiffened up just a little around his shoulders before reaching over for the bag of popcorn we’d

gotten.“Onlytwonow,remember?AndIguessyoucansaythat.”

“And your age? You aren’t secretly thirty or anything, are you?” I wrinkled my nose at the thought,

knowingIlookedfreakingadorablewhenIdidthat.

Helaughed.“No,Ijustturnednineteen.Howaboutyou?You’renotsecretlytwelveoranything,are

you?”

Iplaysmackedhisarm.“No,I’mseventeen.EighteeninSeptember.Onemoreyear,thenfreedom.”
I looked forward and watched the water play against the sand for a few minutes, wishing I had my

swimsuitandcouldgetin.Theurgesurprisedmealittle.Iwasstrictlyapooltypeofgirl.Beacheswere
forlayingouton.Toomuchsandtoplayaround,sandisjustdirtssaltycousinandIwasn’tagettingdirty
kindagirl.

Maybethatwastheoldme,though.LordknewIfeltdifferentlyaboutalotofthingsthanIdidbefore

Daddypassedaway.

“Howareyourfeet?”
“Muchbetter.IneedtogetsomeinsolesorsomethingifI’mgoingtobeworking.”Ismiled.Themore

I thought about it, the more fun working sounded. It was mine, and was completely different than my
previousexperiences.

Willsatupallthewayandliftedthebagofpopcorn.“Wannafeedtheseagulls?”
“Isthatallowed?”

“Ihavenoidea,andIknoweveryonehatesthemandfeedingthemjustencouragesthemtocomesteal

perfectlyinnocentfood,”hestoodupandheldahanddownformetopullupon,“butIloveit.Mymom
usedtoletmeandJillyfeedthemwhenwewerekids,andIcan’tseemtogrowoutofit.”

Igrabbedhishandandstoodup,curiousastohowwewouldgoaboutfeedingthestupidsea-pigeons.

My beach time was typically spent chasing them away, not seeking them out. He led me closer to the
water,butdownthebeachabittoaplacethatdidn’thaveanypeople.Hetookafewpopcornkernelsand
tossedthemintotheair.

Iwatchedthemflyup,excitedlywaitingforabirdtocomeoutofnowhereandscoopthemrightoutof

the air. When they fell to the ground without any obstacle, I looked at Will with something akin to
betrayal.

Helookedatmeandlaughed.“Justwait,they’llcomeinswarmsoncetheyrealizethere’sfoodforthe

taking.”

Nosoonerhadhesaidthatthantwowhitegullscameoverandlandedbythefood.Willhandedthe

bagoversoIcouldgrabsome,andwebothstartedtossingpopcornintheair,andwatchingastheywere
usuallycaughtintheair,asifweweretossingaballwithaverytalentedretriever.Willheldakernelup
inhisfingersandIwasimpressedwhenabirdgrabbeditrightoutofhishandfromtheair.

“Ohmygosh,thatwasawesome!”Icopiedthemotion,feelingatremorofexcitementrushthroughmy

body.

When the seagull swooped down and grabbed the popcorn out of my fingers, he grabbed more than

justthekernels.

“Owowow!Thatseagulljustbitme!”Iheldmypoorachingfingersandglaredatthebirdscreeping

closertowhereWillandIwerestanding.

Will’s eyes were shining, and his mouth was creeping into something dangerously close to a smile.

“It’snotfunny!”Itoldhim,holdingmyfingersoutforhisinspection.“See,they’rered.Thathurt.”Istuck
outmylip,pouting.

“Of course it’s not funny, Allie Cat.” He smiled anyway, but did grab my fingers and kissed them.

“Better?”

“Maybealittle,”Isaidgrudgingly.Truthbetold,myfingersonlyhurtforacoupleofseconds.ButI

likedhisattention,andIwascertainthatheknewthatashegaveaboutahalfdozenmorenoisykisses
untilIwasgigglingathissilliness.

“Okayokay,allbetter.”Ididn’tpullmyhandoutofhis,though.“Uh,howdowegetridofthebird-

brainsnow?”Wewerecurrentlysurrounded,andIdon’tcarewhoyouare,beingsurroundbyabunchof
birdsmovinginonyouiscreepy.

“Werun.”
“Wewhat?”Iasked.
“Wetossthelastofthepopcornatthem,andrunlikehellbacktotheboardwalk.”Hiseyeswerestill

shining,buthewasserious.

Why was I scared? Oh wait, I’d just gotten bit by one of those overstuffed pigeons, that’s why. I

solemnlytookahandfulfromthebag,whileWillpouredtherestintohisownhand.Welookedateach
other.

“One, Two, Three!” We both tossed our handfuls and were nearly engulfed by the birds who all

seemedtojumpupandtrytogetthefoodbeforeitlandedontheground.Ididn’tstickaroundtowatch,
just booked it to the boardwalk as fast as I could. Once I got there I looked around. Will was gone,
probablydevouredbythedemonbirds.

“Justleaveme,whydon’tyou!”Therehewas,walkingupwithbothofourshoesinhishands.Hewas

laughingatme.

“Everymanforhimself,Will.”Ididfeelalittlebad,though,especiallysincehe’drememberedmy

shoeswhenI’dcompletelyforgottenaboutthemandlefthimtodie:deathbypecks.

“Everywomantoo,itseems.”Helookedathiswatchandhiseyessobered.
“Lemmeguess,it’stimetotakemehome.”IwassmilingalittleasIsaidit,eventhoughIwassadour

timetodaywasover.

Helookedatme,andthewayhelookedatmemademefeelexposed.Thesmilemeltedfrommyface,

themomentsuddenlytooseriousforit.Hewasseeingme,andhesawsomethingIneversawinmyself,
becausehelookedatmelikeIwasbig;likeIfilleduphisvision.

“Yeah,itis.I’dplannedonmoretime,but—”
“Butwebothendedupworking.”Thesmilewasbackonmyface.Ididn’twanthimtofeelbadabout

somethingthatwasoutofhishands.

Weheldhandsallthewaytohiscar,whereheopenedthepassengerdooragainforme.Whenhegot

behindthewheel,insteadofstartingtheenginehelookedoveratme.

“Idon’tknowifwe’regoingtohaveanaudiencewhenIdropyouoffAllie,butI’vebeendyingto

kissyouagainsincelastnight.”

“Isthatyourwayofaskingpermission,Will?”
Hedidn’tanswerme,justleanedoverandkissedme.Myhandwentuptohisbicep,grabbinghold

whilehekissedmesowellIfeltmystill-baretoescurl.

MyheartwasracingandIfoughttheurgetogaspforairwhenourlipsseparated.Wheredidhelearn

tokisslikethat?HelookedjustasunhingedasIfelt,somaybeitwasn’thim.Maybeitwasus.

“You’retrouble,”hesaidsoftly,ourforeheadstouching.
“Youare,”Itoldhim.Everythingfeltrightwithhim,andnothinghadfeltrightaboutmylifeinmonths.

Now

Laylaleansforward.“Youmeantotellmethathisideaofaromanticseconddatewastofeedsome

seagulls?”

Ilaugh.“Yeah,anditwasalotoffun.Itwasn’ttheonlytimewediditthatsummer,either.”
Thebestpartofthatsummerwashowmuchfunwehad.Untilthen,I’dalwaysbeensoconcernedwith

what people were thinking. Once I realized that most people weren’t worth that care, I was able to get
lost in the moment and really enjoy myself. I don’t think Layla would understand, though. She’s always
beensomeonewhocouldloseherselfinthenow.

“Areyounotbored,yet?”Iask.
“Notatall.Wearen’tleavingthisporchuntilthecaterercomeswiththesamplesforyourparty.”
“MaybeI’dliketohearalittleaboutyourlife,instead.”
“Wecandothatanothertime.RightnowI’msittingontheedgeofmyseat.WasWillasmuchtrouble

as you thought he’d be?” She places her elbows on the table and cups her face with both hands, eyes
wide.Ilaugh.

“Absolutely,andIknowIwasmoretroubleforhimthanhebargainedfor.”

Then

ThedrivebacktoGrams’shousewasfilledwithconversation.That’sonethingaboutmeandWill,

wetalkedabouteverythingandanything.Myfingerswerenearlynumbbythetimewepulledup,because
Iwasclutchinghishandlikeitwasalifeline.Heinsistedonwalkingmeuptothedoor,butthistimeI
didn’tdiscourageit.

Itwasagoodthinghe’dkissedmeinthecar,becauseGramsandMamaweresittingatthetableonthe

frontporch.Gramswaspaintingalittlewoodenbirdhouse,andMamawasreadingamagazine.

“Will,AnnaLynne,whydon’ty’allsitdownwithus?”Gramsaskeduswhenwewalkedupthesteps

totheporch.“Will,wouldyoulikeaglassofsweettea,honey?”GramsofferedWilloncewesat.She
didn’taskmeifIwantedaglassoftea.

“Maybeasmallglass,thankyou.Ican’tstaylong.Ihavetobeatworksoon,”heanswered,pulling

outthatsamegentlemanlycharmhe’dusedlastnightonmymom.

“Well,aglassofmyMama’steaisexactlywhatyouneed,”Mamasaid,grabbingaglassandpouring

fromthepitcherthatwassittinginthecenterofthetable.Seemsthey’dbeenexpectingus,becausethere
wasanotheremptyglassthatwasquicklyfilledandplacedinfrontofme.

“Where’sLayla?”Iasked.
“Oh, Philip took her out for lunch today. They are so sweet together,” my mom all but gushed. I

clenchedmyteeth.Ididn’tliketheideaofLaylahavingspecialbondingtimewithsomeguywhowasn’t
ourfather,evenifDaddywasn’taroundanymoretohavespecialbondingtimewith.Mamadidn’tseemto
notice.

“So,didyoutwohaveagoodday?YouwereoutabitlongerthanIexpected,”Mamasaid.
“That’smyfault,Mrs.Cartwright.IwassupposedtogetoffaroundthetimethatAnnaLynnearrived,”

Willstarted,takingtheblameyetagainandusingmyfullnameinsteadofAlorAllie.Ididn’tlikeit.“We
weresobusythatmybossneededmetostayon.AnnaLynnewasachampandpitchedintohelp.Shedid
sowellthatCarlofferedherajob.”

“Well,that’sjustwonderfulAnnaLynne,”Gramssaid,smilingwarmly.
“Isn’tthatexciting,”Mamasaid,thoughshedidn’tsoundlikeshewasallthatexcitedforme.“Does

thismeanthatyouhaveajobnow?”

“Istarttomorrowmorning,I’maserver!”Ibeamed,hopingmyexcitementwouldannoymymother.

Mamahadmentionedmorethanoncethatatruelady,ifshemustwork,doesn’twaitonotherpeople.It’s
herjobtobewaitedon.

Icouldseehermindworkingitout.Thenshesmiledatme.“That’sgreat,AnnaLynne.Philipwasjust

sayinghowgooditwouldbeforyoutohaveahobbytokeepyourmindbusy.”

My jaw clenched. “Well, it’s not exactly a hobby. It’s a job.” Will’s hand squeezed my thigh, and I

tookacalmingbreathandsmiledsoshewouldn’tgetoffended.Ididn’twanttogetintroubleforgiving
attitudeinfrontofWillandGrams.

“We’llhavetocelebrate!Howaboutdinnertomorrownight?Will,areyouavailable?”Gramswinked

atme.

Um,didmygrandmotherjustinvitetheguyI’vebeenontwodateswithtofamilydinner?Whywasn’t

Iupsetwithherpresumption?

“IthinkIcanmakethatwork,MissAnna,”Willsaid.Itriedhardnottolookathim.
“Good.Goaheadandtellthatsweetsisterofyourstocomealong,ifshecan.”
“I’msureshe’dlovetocome,”Willsaid.Helookedathiswatchthenscootedhischairbacktostand

up. “Thank y’all for your hospitality, but I really need to head out now. The tea was delicious Miss
Anna.”

“Youknowyou’rewelcomeanytime,Will,”Gramssaid.

Istoodupwithhimandwalkedhimtotheedgeofthestairs.“Youdon’thavetocomeovertomorrow

ifyoudon’twantto,”Itoldhim.

“Ofcoursehewantstocomeovertomorrow,AnnaLynne,”myeavesdroppingGramscalledover.He

justsmiledatme.

“She’sright.OfcourseIwanttocomeover,ifyou’reokaywiththat.”
Ismiledrightbackathim.“Yeah,I’mokaywiththat.TellJilltocome,too.”
“Youcanaskheryourselftomorrowmorning,remember?”Heleanedoverandkissedmycheek,and

leftafterasweetgoodbye.

IwasblushingwhenIreturnedtothetable.
“Heseemsquitethegentleman,AnnaLynne,”Mamasaid.IsmiledbeforeIrememberedthatIdidn’t

careaboutherapproval.

“Oh, Will is a good boy. His sister is just a doll, as well. You could do a lot worse than making

friendswiththetwoofthem,”Gramschimedin.

“Howdoyouevenknowthem?Doyouknoweveryoneinthistown?”
“Pretty much, darling. Especially with the two of them working at some of my most frequent stops.

WillhasworkedattheClubforyears,youknow.”

“That’sfunny,Ididn’trecognizehimatall,”Mamachimedin.Ihadn’teither.
“Oh,he’sbeenmyfavoritecaddyforyearsnow.Hejustswitchedtotherestaurant,andI’msadtolose

him.”

I was quiet at that. Grams loved golf. I didn’t share the enthusiasm at all, but Daddy had loved the

gameandthetwoofthemwentregularlyduringthesummer.IfWillusedtobeGramsregularcaddy,then
heknewmyfather.WhydidheactlikehethoughtPhilipwasmyparent?DidhealreadyknowthatDaddy
died?Maybehejusthadn’tconnectedthedots.

Now

“Theplotthickens!SodidheknowDaddy?”
“Ifyouwouldstopinterrupting,you’dfindout,wouldn’tyou?”Itellher.
Laylastickshertongueoutatme.Itakemytimepouringaglassofwaterinsteadoffillingupmytea.
“Yeah,heknewhim,”Isay.Forsomeonewhosoprizedhonesty,Willcertainlydidn’tmindsecrets.If

itweren’tforJillian,therearethingsIdoubtWillwouldhaveevertoldmeabouthimself.Hisknowing
Daddywasn’toneofthosethings,though.Hetoldmeallaboutit,justnotrightaway.

“Hushup!Don’truinthestoryforme.”Laylacoversherears,glaringdaggersatme.
“Hey,youasked,”Ipointout.
“Itwasarhetoricalquestion.”She’sactuallypoutingnow.
“Didn’tsoundthatwaytome,”Imumbleundermybreath.
“Justhushyourbigmouthandfinishthestory.”
Iignorethefactthatherordermakesnosensewhatsoeverandcontinue.

Then

Myseconddayofworkwentmuchmoresmoothlythanthefirst,whichwasprobablyduetothefact

thatIdidn’thaveanytablesandwasinsteadworkingthecounterforthepeoplewhowereorderingtheir
foodto-go.IstayedtoobusytoflirtwithWilllikeIhoped,thoughtwicehedidmakeapointtocomeout
andseehowIwasholdingup.Mytipsweren’tasbig,butthehourlypaywashigher,andmyfeetcertainly
didn’t hurt as badly since I didn’t spend the day walking back and forth. It also let me get to know the
computer a lot faster, and the menu. Jill enthusiastically agreed to dinner when I asked, then invited
herselfoverearlytohelpmegetreadyforit.Ithadn’toccurredtometoinviteherearly,buthangingout
forafewminuteswithoutherbrothersoundedfun.NotthatIdidn’twanttohangoutwithWill,farfromit.
ButIhadn’tfeltuptocallinganyofmyregularsummerfriendsfromtheclub,andwasinneedofsome
girltime.

Gramspickedusuparoundfour,andafterpoppingbackinthekitchentosaybyetoWillandtellhim

dinnerwouldbeatseven,JillianandIwalkedoutwithourarmslinkedtogethergigglingaboutabsolutely
nothing.

Back at the house, I let Jill borrow one of my dresses and we helped each other with our makeup.

When Layla came in, before I could shoo her away as I usually did when I had company over, Jillian
draggedherinandwebothdidherhair.

“Ialwayswantedababysister,butallIhaveisastupidbigbrother!”shetoldLayla.
“Ishemean?”Laylaasked,eyeswidewithconcern.
“No,he’sactuallyprettygreat.Butheneverletsmecurlhishair,”Jilliantoldmysister.Laylalooked

atherwithadoration,andIfeltapangofjealousy.Laylausuallyonlylookedatmewiththatlook.

“Well,mybigsisterletsmeplaywithherhairsometimes,”Laylabraggedbeforethejealousfeeling

couldsinkintoofar.Ismiled.

UsuallyI’dbeembarrassedaroundmyfriendsiftheyknewIplayedwithmylittlesisterthatmuch,but

Jillianjustnoddedherhead.

“AnnaLynneisdefinitelynicerthanWillisthen.”
“Maybeshecangivehim‘nice’lessons!”Laylasoundedbothseriousandexcitedbytheidea.Idon’t

knowwhereshegottheideathatIwasnice,butitmademyheartfeelfulltoknowshethoughtofmethat
way.

“Youknowwhat,Ithinksheshould.”Jilllookedatme,grinning.“Whataboutit,AnnaLynne?Wanna

givemybrothersomeprivatelessonsonhowtobe‘nice’?”

Iblushed,becausenothingsoundedbetterthanhavingprivateanythingwithWillatthemoment.
“Whyareyousored,AnnaLynne?Areyoufeelingokay?”Layla’ssweetvoiceasked,makingJillian

burstoutinlaughterandmechuckle,embarrassed.

IwassavedfromarealresponsebyPhilip,ofallpeople,comingupstairs.
“Yourfriendishere,AnnaLynne,”hesaidawkwardlyfrommydoorway.
Iusuallydidn’tmissachancetoignoreeverythingthatcameoutofhissweater-vestwearingface,but

itwasWillandIcouldn’tignorehim.

Icouldn’thelpbutsmile.“ThanksPhilip,willyoulethimknowwe’llberightdown?”
Philip’sunsureexpressionvanished,andhesmiledbackatme.“Absolutely.Youalllooklovely,by

theway;Ifeelsounderdressed.”Hebeamedintotheroom.

See, that’s why I couldn’t be nice to him, it just encouraged him. It would take weeks of cold

shoulderingtoerasethisonemoment.

“Ithinkyoulookhandsome!”Layla,whohadnoideathesecretbattleweweresupposedtobehaving

withtheinterloper,ranupandgrabbedhishandanddraggedhimdownstairs.

Whentheyweregone,IlookedatJillianwhowasstaringatherselfinthemirror,faceblank.

“Jill?”
Shestarted,facebreakingintoasmile.“What’sup?Readytogodown?”
“Areyouokay?”
“Yeah, of course. You know, the longer your sister is downstairs with my brother without you, the

morelikelysheistoembarrassyou.Neverleavedatesalonewithsiblings.”

Ifelttheblooddrainfrommyface.Jillianlaughed,asoundthatfollowedmeasIrandownthestairs

andtothebackporch,whereWillwassittinginthemidstofmyfamilylikehebelongedthere.Laylawas
sittingnexttohimattheroundpatiotable,andwhateverhe’djustsaidhadherinagigglingfit.Hiseyes
foundminewhenweapproached.Whydidhelookatmelikethat?Whatdidhesee?

“Welldon’tyoutwojustlookavision!”Gramssaidwhenweapproached.
WillstooduponceIgotclose,pullingouthisownchairformetositin,whilehewentaroundand

grabbedanothernexttoGrams,leavingtheavailablechaironmyrighttobefilledbyJillian.Itriednotto
bedisappointed.

“Areweeatingoutside,Mama?”mymotheraskedfromherseatnexttoPhiliponLayla’sotherside.
“Heavensno.We’rejustoutherewhileBettyfinishesupinthekitchen.”
Betty was a single mom and acted as Grams’s helper-person, but she was really just a concession

Grams made to my mother several years ago. I didn’t think Grams really needed anyone to help her
aroundthehouseoranything,butthey’dbecomegoodfriendsdespiteBettycollectingapaycheck.Those
twowerealwayscomingupwithnewrecipestogetherandmakingcrazywreaths.Gramslovedmaking
wreaths,andBetty’soldestwastheperfectagetoclimbthetreesforthebestfoliage.

“What’sfordinner,MissAnna?”JillianaskedwhileIpouredthetwoofusteafromthepitcher.

Now

“Youknow,it’sfunny.Idon’thaveasinglememoryofGramsoranyoneevermakingsweettea,but

anytimetherewasatleasttwoofussittingoutside,therewasalwaysapitcherofsweetteaaround.”

“GramstoldmeitwasSouthernMagicwhenIwasyoungerandaskedaboutit.”IlaughbecauseI’d

reallybelieveditwhenIwasalittlegirl.ItonlymadesensetomethattheSouthhaditsownmagicthat
woulddothingslikemakesummerlongandgiveyousweetteawhenyou’rethirsty.

Laylalaughstoo.“IthinkIrememberthinkingthat,myself,thoughIdon’tknowthatGramstoldme.”
“Mamaactuallytaughtmehowtobrewagoodicedtea.”Ismileatthememory.Daddylovedpeach

tea,andMamamadeitalotbeforehepassedaway.“Didyouknowthesecrettoherpeachteaisjusta
peachKool-aidpacket?”

“You’re kidding! Lord, it’s been years since I’ve had peach tea.” Layla frowns, maybe trying to

rememberthelasttimeshehadit.

“MaybeI’llmakesomealittlelater,”Itellher.
We’requietforasecond,lostinourownthoughts.
“Thatdinnerwassuchablast.IthoughtJillwasthecoolestgirl.”
“Iknowyoudid.Ialmostgotalittlejealousthatshewasgoingtostealyouawayfromme.Icouldn’t

blameyou,ofcourse.Jillianwastheabsolutecoolest.”

“Oh,youwouldn’thavenoticed.Youweretoobusystealingawayherbrotherthatsummer.”
Apangofguilt,evenafteralltheseyears,pullsthroughmeathowfarfromthetruththosewordswere.

Itwasn’tWillwhowasalmosttakenawaybecauseofme.

“Besides,shewastheonlyoneofyourfriendsIeverreallyliked.”
“Really?”Ishakeoffthebadfeeling.IknowI’llhavetofaceitsoonanyway.
Layla nods emphatically. “She was the only one who was nice, and you stayed nice when she was

around.”

“Iwasnevermeanwhenmyfriendswerearound.”I’moffended.“Inevercalledyounamesormade

funofyou.”Notlikemyotherfriendsdidtotheiryoungersiblings.

“Youignoredmewhenyourotherfriendswerearound!”
Ifrown.“That’snotthesameasbeingmean.”
“Yesitis,andyouknowit.”Laylamakesaface,andIshrugbecauseIknowshe’sright.

Then

Whenwewentinsidetoeat,Iheldbackagiggleathowornatelysetthetablewas.
Baby wreaths were at every table setting, complete with name tags. “Grams, is there anyone else

coming?”

“Nohoney,whydoyouask?”Shelookedatmeinnocently.
“Becausethelasttimeyousetthetablethisnicely,itwasThanksgiving.”MentalNote:Donotlaugh

atyourgrandmotherandherbabywreaths,AnnaLynne.

Gramsfrowned.“PerhapsIwentalittletoofarwithit,”shesmiled,“butIhavebeendyingtousethe

namecardwreaths,anddidn’twanttowaitforsomedinnerwithpeopleIdon’tevenlike!”

“Mama!Thosepeopleareyourfriendsandfamily,”mymotheradmonished.
Will was covering his mouth with his hand but I could tell he was smiling. I also tried hard not to

laugh,butletlooseonegood“Ha!”beforeIwasabletocontrolmyself.

“Soyousay,”Gramsgrumbled,butIknewshewasjokingbecauseshewinkedatLaylawhenshesat

down at the head of the table. Layla hadn’t been paying a lick of attention, though. She was too busy
admiringthegoodchinaandthedangglitter-gluedwreathonherplate.

Wesatdowntoadeliciousmealofshrimpandgrits—myfavorite.Philiptriedmiserablytopepper

Will with the typical dad questions, but was completely lacking the meddling-yet-imposing figure that
Daddyusedtohavewhenhemetmydates.Hewasonlyabletogetthetwostandard“Wheredoyouplan
ongoingtoschoolinthefall?”and“Whatdoyourparentsdo?”whenGramsinterruptedloudly,sparing
Willfromhavingtoanswer.

“Philip, I think that’s enough. I’ve known Will for years, and Mark was fond of him. I think our

recommendationsofhischaractershouldbesufficient.”Gramswinkedoveratus,andItriednottoreact
tohearingmyfather'snameoutloud.

Next to me, Will’s knuckles were white and clenching the tablecloth in his lap. I wanted to look at

him,gaugethereactiononhisface,butIdidn’twanttobeobviousinmystudy.Whyhadn’thetoldmehe
knewDaddy?Whatwashehiding?Isthatwhyhe’sreactingthisway,orwasitbecauseofthequestions
thatGramshadinterrupted?Iwantedtobeupset,tobedistrustful,butIcouldn’tmanagetocallforththose
emotions—notwhenitcametoWill.Ihadagoodfeelingabouthim,andhearingthatDaddyhadlikedhim
helpedsettlemythoughts.Daddyhadgoodtaste.IknewthatWillwouldtellmewhatIwantedtoknowif
Iasked,andbecauseIknewthat,Ireachedoverandgrabbedoneofhishandsinmine.Slowly,thetension
lefthim.

Mymothersighed.“Calmdown,Mama.Philipisjustcurious.Will,youseemfine.NowJillian,what

aboutyou?Ihavetosay,itseemsyouandmydaughterhavebecomefastfriends.”

“Well, it’s easy to be friends with Anna Lynne, you know? Besides, who else is going to vet my

brother’sdates?”Shesmiled,andIsawMamareturnit.Jilliandrewpeopletoherlikethat.

The rest of dinner was uneventful. Will and I held hands under the tablecloth for the entirety of it.

Whendinnerwasover,WillandJillianmadetheirleave.Iwalkedthemout,gladthatJillianwentahead
tothecaraftergivingmeahugsothatWillandIcouldhaveafewminutesofalmost-alonetime.

“LetMissAnnaknowthatdinnerwasamazing,”Willsaid,turningtolookatmeoncewehitthestairs.
“You already did, twice. Thanks for coming over, you and Jill. It was a lot more fun with you two

here.”Iwasevenabletoeatmyentiremealbeforeexcusingmyself.IthadbeenawhilesinceIcouldsay
that—MamaandPhilip’sPDAduringsharedmealsusuallyturnedmystomach.

Hesmiled.“Anytime,AllieCat.Philipseemsokay.Itlookslikehereallycaresaboutyourmom.”
Irolledmyeyesbutdidn’tcomment.Ididn’treallywanttospendourlastfewminutestogethertalking

aboutthem.Iwantedtospenditlockinglips.

“Areyoudoinganythingtomorrow?”Willasked,thensworeunderhisbreath.“ImeanonTuesday.I

onlyhavethirtyminutesbetweenshiftstomorrow.”

Ithinkbacktomyworkschedule,whichwastheonlydefinitivethingIhadgoingonthatsummer.“I

workmorningshiftonTuesday.”

Willsmiledagain.“Metoo,andIdon’thavetoworkdinnerattheClubeither.Wannadothebeach

again?”

“Canweswim?”Iwasgoingtosayyeseitherway.
“Absolutely.”Hewasgrinningatmenow,andIlikedthathewashavingthatreactionattheideaof

seeingmeagain.“AnnaLynne,youlookbeautifultonight.IknowIdidn’tsayearlier,butyoudo.”

NowIwasgrinning.IknewIwaspretty,notinavainway,butIlikedthathethoughtIwaspretty.I

wantedtobebeautifulforhim.Andsmart,andfunny,andallthegoodqualitiesheseemedtohave.

“Thankyou.Youlooknice,too.”
Heshrugged,brushingoffmycompliment.IswallowedwhenInoticedthathiseyeshadtraileddown

tomymouth.Itiptoedup,notcaringthattherewasacertainlikelihoodofsomeonewatching,andkissed
him.Itwasn’tlong,noneofourkissessofarhadbeen,butmybodyreactedasifitwereanyway.

IbarelycountedtotwobeforeIpulledaway,gladtoseehiseyesareasunfocusedasIfelt.“I’llsee

youonTuesday,Will.Trynottoworktoohardtomorrow,okay?”

Hemumbledsomething,notsurewhat,andIusedeveryounceofcontrolIhadtowalkbackinside.

OncethereIpeekedbacktoseehimthroughthewindowbythedoor,andhewasstillstandingtherewith
asmallsmileonhisface.Hemusthaveseenmeinthewindowbecausehewavedatmebeforeturning
aroundandwalkingdowntohiscar.Myhandwentuptomymouth,whichwassplitinasmilesobigmy
cheeks were hurting. My heart felt funny, and I knew it was silly or whatever, but I could see myself
fallingforthisguy.

*****

Isleptinthenextmorning.Laylatriedtowakemeupatsomepoint,butIthrewapillowatherand

shewentaway.Itwasn’tuntilhalfpasteleventhatIfinallygotoutofbedandtrudgeddownthestairs,
followingmystomachtothekitchen.

Thehousewasquiet,soIwassurprisedwhenIsawmymothersittinginthekitchenbyherself.
“Goodmorning,AnnaLynne.Areyoufeelingokay?Youdon’ttypicallysleepinthislate.”
“I’mfine,Mama.Justtired.”
“Ifworkingistoomuchforyou,honey,youcanquit.We’llfindsomethingelseforyoutodo,maybe

somelessonsattheclub!Youenjoyedtennislastsummer,didn’tyou?”Mamasoundedalittletooexcited
attheideaofmequittingsothatIcouldtakeafewlessons.

“Ilikework,Mama.I’vebarelystarted,I’mnotgoingtoquitalready.I’llgetusedtoit.”Itcameout

sharperthanI’dintended.

Herlipspursed.“Well,LaylaisoutwithGramsgoinguptotheHobbyLobby,andPhiliphassome

worktodo.Lookslikeit’sjustthetwoofus.Whatdoyouthink,mani/pedis?Mynailscouldusesome
seriouswork.”Sheheldherhandupforinspection.Theylookedperfecttome.

I tried desperately to come up with an excuse why I couldn’t go, but there wasn’t one. We hadn’t

gottenournailsdonetogethersincebeforePhilip—maybeevenbeforeDaddypassedaway.Itusedtobe
ourregularthing,onceortwiceamonthwe’dgotothesalonwhenwedidn’thaveanythingelsetodo.I
usedtolikehangingoutwithMama.

I looked down at my feet and cringed. “I guess I’m way overdue for a pedicure. Just let me eat

somethingfirst.”

“Ohyay!Yougoaheadandeat.I’mgoingtogochangeandmakeanappointmentforforty-fiveminutes

fromnow.”

Iateabananawithspoonfulsofpeanut-butterstraightfromthejar,thenrushedupstairstogetdressed

beforewehadtogo.Maybewewouldhavefun,andIfeltaflutterofexcitementcoursethroughmybody.
AtleastI’dhavefabulousnailsevenifitwasawful.

Thecarrideoverwasfilledwithawkwardattemptsatconversation,atleastatfirst.Bythetimewe

weresittinginourmassagechairsandlettingourfeetsoakinpreparationofourpedicure,however,we’d
stumbledintoeasyconversation.Mamawassmart,andaskedmeaboutWill.I’lladmititwasnicetogush
withmymomagainaboutaboyIliked.Italmostfeltlikeoldtimes,andIrealizedImissedheralmostas
muchasImissedDaddy.IomittedexactlyhowmuchIlikedWillalready,Iknewitwasdisproportionate
to the amount of time we’d spent together. She really liked Jillian, too, and we talked about how silly
GramswaswiththedeckedouttableforSundaydinner.OurtoesweredonebeforeIknewitandIwas
genuinely having a good time when we were seated on the other side of the salon to get our fingers
primped.

“Whatdoyousayaboutgettingabitetoeatandmaybeseeingamovieafterournailsaredry?”Mama

asked.

“Soundslikefun,Mama,”Itoldher.Ievenmeantit.
“Great!Iwashopingyou’dsayyes.I’vebeenwantingtotakeyoutoLaFleurduSud.Theycater,and

Iwantyouropiniononthefood.PhilipandIarethinkingofhiringthemforthewedding,butofcourseI
can’tmakeupmymind.”

Thesmilediedonmyface.
“Areyouguysplanningongettingmarriednextsummerwhilewe’rehere,becausethere’sprobably

somethingmuchclosertohomeifnot.”Itriedtoshakeoffmysuddenbadmood—itwouldn’tbesoawful
iftheydidn’tgetmarriedforanotheryear.

“It’sapossibility,butitseemssillytohavesuchalongengagementatourage.Maybewe’lljustbe

recklessandtietheknotattheendofsummer!”

Imumbledsomething,hardlyhearingwhatMamawassayingthroughthesoundofmybloodrushing.
“Ofcourse,that’snotevenenoughtimetogetadressalteredproperly,butit’safunidea,don’tyou

think?”

Icouldn’tevenfeelreliefatthat,becausesheimmediatelycontinued.
“Oh,maybewecantakeapeekatadressshopthisafternoon.IwantyouandLaylastandingatthe

altarwithus,ofcourse.Ican’tthinkofaprettierpicturethanyoutwobeingmybridesmaids.Maybea
nicelightaqua—Idon’twanttopicksomethingthatwillclashwithLayla’shair.Whatdoyouthink?”

“Mhmm,” is all I said, because my brain couldn’t say anything else without screaming out in

frustration.

Myphonerang,andIfumbledthroughmypursewithmyyetuntouchedhandtoanswertheveryreal

lifeline.

“Hello?”
“AnnaLynne!It’sJillhere.Ihopeyoudon’tmind,butIstoleyournumberfromyouremployeefile.”
“No,that’sfine,Jillian,”Isaid.Mamasmiledandwaved.“Mamasayshi.”
“HiMrs.Cartwright.Anyway,sinceyouworktomorrowmorning,whydon’tyoucomespendthenight

tonight.Will’sworkinguntillate,soit’sjustgoingtobeusgirls.Wecanwatchmovies,doournails,the
wholeworks.”Jillwasspeakingfast.

Ididn’tmentionthatIwascurrentlygettingmynailsdone.“Whattimeareyouthinking?”Iwashoping

she’dsayimmediately.

“Oh,um,IhaveWill’scartoday,soIcanpickyouupinanhourorsomething.There’sapoolinour

apartmentcomplexandwecangolayoutorsomethingforawhile.”

“Thatsoundsamazing.Letmeaskmymomandcallyouback.Isthisagoodnumbertocallyouback

on?”

“Oh,no.Letmegiveyouourhomenumber;I’mcallingfromthebakery,butI’monmywayoutand

shouldbehomeinaboutten.”

IscrambledforarandomreceiptandapenthatIhadinmypursetowritehernumberdown,thenhung

upthephone.

“Whatisitthatyouneedtoaskme?”MamaaskedafterIhungup.
“JillianwantstoknowifIcangohangoutatherplaceandspendthenighttonight.CanI?”
“I’mnotsureIliketheideaofyouspendingthenightatyourboyfriend'shouse,evenifyouarefriends

withhissister,”Mamasaid,aworriedcreaseondisplayonherforehead.

ImanagednottosmileatWillbeingcalledmyboyfriendagain.“He’sworkingtonight,Mama,andwe

bothhavetobeatworkearlytomorrowmorning.Besides,IreallylikeJill.Shedoesn’t,youknow,actall
sorryforme.”Ilettheresthang.MamaknewwhatIwastalkingabout—shehadtoknow.Ionlyfelta
twingeofguiltatusingthatasawaytogetwhatIwanted,eventhoughitwastrue.

ThepitylookswerethemainreasonwhyIhadn’tcalledthehandfulofclubgirlsItypicallyhungwith

whenwewereatGrams.

Mamasatandlookedatmeforaminute.“Well,okay.ButI’mtrustingyou,AnnaLynne.Don’tbetray

thattrust,younglady.”

“Yesma’am.”
“Whattimeareyousupposedtomeether?”Shelookedatthewatchonherwrist.
“Um,shesaidshecanpickmeupinaboutanhour.Ineedtopack,too.”Ilookedatthetimeonmy

phone,hopingshe’dgetthehintthatweneededtohurry.Ididn’tsayanythingabouthowwe’djustmade
plansandthiswouldbebreakingthem.

Mamasighed.“Iguessthismeansweneedtoraincheckthedressshopping,”shesaid,butIdidn’tsay

anything. I didn’t want her to think that I was really excited to go, because helping her pick out a new
weddingdressforhernewhusbandsoundedpainful.

IcalledJillbackwhenournailsweredryenoughformetoreachbackinmypurseformyphone.The

carridebackwastense.IknewMamawasdisappointed,andItriednottofeelguiltyabouthowshewas
going to be by herself until Grams and Layla got back. It wasn’t my fault she had to ruin everything,
becausethat’swhatitfeltlikebyhermovingonwhenIwasn’treadytoyet.Itwasselfishofhertobe
excitedaboutanewdress,abouthernewlife,whenIwasstillgrievingmyoldone.Shemademefeel
like I was grieving alone. Layla was too bright to be burdened with sadness, and without Daddy, all I
reallyhadwasMamaandGrams—andGramswasn’twithusbackhome.

MamahadleftmetomysorrowsoshecouldreplacethemanIwasmourning.

Now

“Ouch.Isthathowyoufelt?”Laylaasksme.
“Absolutely. I know better now, of course. But I was so caught up in hurting, that it didn’t occur to

me…well,alotofthingsdidn’toccurtome.”

“Youknow,Iwassad,too.Ididn’twanteveryoneworryingaboutme,though.DaddytoldmeIhadto

stayhappyforyouandMama,becauseheknewhowmuchwe’dallmisshim.Hesaidmysmilewould
remindthemwhatbeinghappyfeltlike.”

I nod, because I remember Daddy telling her on more than one occasion that her smile was what

happinesslookedlike,andthewholeworldwouldforgetitssorrowsiftheyonlyhadLaylatosmilefor
them.

“Ifeltlikehe’dgivenmeaveryimportantjob,andImadesureIsmiledasmuchasIcould,”Layla

says,flashingsaidsmile.

“Idon’tthinkhemeantthatyouweren’tallowedtoletusknowwhenyouweresad,Layla.I’msorryI

neverrealized.”Alittlegirlshouldfeellikeshecanbesad,especiallyafterherfatherdies.

“Oh,Iknow.I’vealwaysbeenmuchbetteratbeinghappy,though.Itgavemesomethingelsetofocus

on.LikeIsaid,it’saveryimportantjob.Someonehastokeepthingslight-hearted.”Shesmilesagainas
shesaysthis,butitdoesn’tquitereachhereyes.

Whatathingtocarryaround,tofeelresponsibleforeveryoneelse’shappiness.
“Youknowit’snotyourjobtokeeppeoplehappy,right?”Iaskher.
“Ofcourseitisn’t,AnnaLynne.Thatwouldbesilly.”Sheshrugshershouldersdismissively.“Ijust

don’tseethepointinfeedingallthatbademotion.Notinmyself,andnotinothers.Youknow,whenyou
smileatsomeoneit’sinstinctualforthemtosmileback?Imaginethat!Youcanmakecompletestrangers
smilejustbysmilingatthem.”ThistimewhenLaylasmiles,hereyesshine,too.

Iwanttoarguewithherlogic,butforthelifeofmecan’tthinkofagoodreasonwhy.Notwhenmy

faceissplitinasmilethatmatcheshersperfectly.

Then

Jillwasalreadyatthehousewhenwepulledup,andIwasbeyondhappyaboutit.I’dbeencircling

around all the reasons why I was unhappy with Mama and by the time the car stopped, I had worked
myselfintoarealangstyragethatIwastooafraidtounload.

“Hey,givemetwosecondswhileIgrabmystuff!”IyelledatJillwhiLEIranuptheporchstairsand

usedmycopyofthehousekeytounlockthedoorbeforeMamawasevenhalfwaytothehouse.Igrabbed
mygiantpursethatwastypicallyreservedforsneakingsnacksintothetheater,andthrewclothesinthere,
notreallyknowingwhatI’dneed.Ididremembertopackmybathingsuit,underwear,andtoothbrush,and
figuredthatifI’dforgottenanythingelseIneededIcouldeitherborrowfromJillianorjustbuynew.I’d
packedsoquicklythatMamahadjustwalkedinthedoorandputherpursedownwhenIrandownthe
stepstwoatatime.

“Woah,youaren’tgoingtoleavewithoutlettingmeknowexactlywhereyou’regoing,andthenumber

totheirhouse,”shesaid,haltingmyjogoutthedoorandtowardfreedom.

“Mama,Ihavemycell,”Iremindedher.Technologyexistedforareason.
“Anna Lynne Cartwright, I didn’t ask if you had your cell; I asked for their number. Service can be

spotty—IwanttomakesureIcangetaholdofyou,andIstillneedtheaddress.”

I wanted to demand why she cared, but knew the wrong type of attitude could mean I’d be stuck at

homefortherestoftheday,confinedtomyroom.

“Yes ma’am,” I said instead, and ran outside with my bag and dropped it in the passenger window

whileJillgavemetheaddresstotheirapartment.Itwasbarelyinmymother'shandsbeforeIwasback
outthedoor,grinningatJillfromthepassengerseat.

“Dang girl, we’re not going to Disney World or anything,” Jill said, laughing at my rush while she

pulledawayfromthehouse.

“I know, but it was just me and Mama, and ugh. She was trying to talk to me about the wedding.” I

rolleddownthewindowandluxuriatedinthebreezethatflewinthroughthewindow.

“That doesn’t sound too bad. Weddings are fun,” Jill said over the noise from the wind, clearly not

understandingmydilemma.

“Youdon’tknowMama,”wasallIcouldsay.Explainingwouldtaketoolong,andasampedupasI

was,Iwouldprobablyendupcrying.

“Trueenough.Anyway,youbroughtyoursuit,right?BecauseIplanonsoakingupsomerays.”
“Absolutely.”Ifeltmyselfbouncealittleinmyseat.Iwasexcited.Wespentthenexttenminutecar

ridebeltingoutwhateversongcameontheradio.Jillhadagoodvoice,andwhenshedidn’tknowthe
wordsshewasquickwithmakingnewonesup.“Areyourparentshome?”Iaskedwhenwepulledinto
thecomplexshemustlivein.

“Uh,thatwouldbeano.Didn’tWilltellyou?”Sheparked,anditlookedlikeherbuildingwaswithin

viewofthefenced-inpool.

“Tellmewhat?”Ifollowedherupthestairs.
“Um,it’sjustus.Sincelastsummer.”Sheunlockedthedoorandletmeinfirst.Myeyestookafew

minutestoadjusttothedimlylitlivingroom.

“What?”
“Well,ourhome-lifewasn’texactlyawesome,sowhenWillturnedeighteenlastsummer,alawyerhe

knewhelpedhimgetlegalguardianshipoverme.”Sheturnedtolookatme.“Well,thisisit!Myroomis
ontheleft,Will’sontheright,andthebathroomisrighthere.It’snotmuch,butit’snotbad!”Shespun
around,pointingatthedifferentdoorwayswhileIstilltriedtoabsorbthenews.

Wait,what?“Youguysaretoocloseinageforhimtobeyourguardian,”Isaid.
“Well, usually. But our lawyer was able to pull some strings. I really wanted to do the whole

emancipationthing,butthelawyersaidthisroutewouldbeeasier.Asocialworkercomesbyeveryso
oftentomakesurethingsaregoingwell.Theyalwaysare.”Shewalkeddownthesmallhallwaytoher
room. “Way better than before,” she said. I wasn’t sure she meant me to hear that bit, so I didn’t say
anythingeventhoughIwasfollowinghertoherroom.

“Soit’sjustyoutwo.Whopaysthebills?”Iasked,butIalreadyknew.That’sthereasonwhyWill

workedsomuch,nottosaveforcollegelikehesaid.

“Oh,youknow.Webothwork—well,Willdoesn’tletmeworkduringtheschoolyear.Hewantsme

togotocollege.”

“Ithoughthewassavingtogotoschool,”Isaid,perhapsalittledejectedly.
“Oh,Iwish.Hedoesn’tthinkhe’llgetinsincehedroppedoutofhighschoolandgothisGEDassoon

asheturnedsixteensohecouldworkmore.Hewassickofourpowergettingshutoffallthetime.Will
sayshe’snotinterestedincollege,butIknowhe’slying.He’ssavingupformetogotoschool.Theidiot
doesn’tthinkIknow,butIdo.”Sheshrugged,butIknewshewasbotheredbyherbrother’ssacrificeand
didn’tknowwhattodoaboutit.“IturneighteeninJanuary,soI’llbechippinginmoreafterthat.Will
can’tforcemenottoworksinceI’llbeanadult.Besides,senioryearistheeasiestone.”

Iwantedsobadlytoaskwhatwaswrongwiththeirparentsforthemtoendupontheirown,butshe

startedrummagingthroughthetopdrawerinherdresserandIthoughtifshewantedtokeeptalkingabout
it,shewouldtellme.Plus,someofWill’slifeshouldbetoldtomebyWill.Itwouldbecheatingtogetall
myinfofromhissister,andeventhoughIwastemptedtopryfurther,IpromisedmyselfnottoaskunlessI
wasaskinghim.

I put my bag down, then went to the bathroom to change. When I came out, Jill was in an almost

identical black bikini. The cut was slightly different, but they were close, and we laughed at the
coincidence.

“Iknewyouhadgreattaste!”shetoldme,whilegrabbingacoupleofbeachtowelsandshovingthem

intowhatlookedlikeabeachbag.Iwasgladforthetowel,sinceI’dforgottenmyown.

I’dalsoforgottenmyflipflops,butIdidn’tbothermentioningthatsinceIhadseenthepoolwhenwe

pulledupandknewIcouldmakeitbarefoot.Ofcourse,theasphaltendedupbeingsohotthatIhalfran
thereeventhoughitwasrightnextdoor.

“Icouldhavelentyouapairofflipflops,youdork.”JilllaughedatmewhileIwaitedinthegrassfor

hertocatchup.

“Well,Iclearlyunderestimatedhowhotthegroundwas.”
“It’sablackparkinglot,AnnaLynne.Theygethot.”
Istuckoutmytongue,thenfellinlinebehindherwhilesheusedakeytogetintothepoolarea.We

weretheonlyonesthere,sohadourpickofwhitelawnchairs.IhelpedmyselftoJill’sSPF30,andwe
tookturnsreadingmagazinearticlesouttoeachotherinbetweendipswhenwegottoohotfromthesun.

Severalhours,andadefinedtanlinelater,wefinallydecidedenoughwasenough.Iwasstarving,and

Ididn’tknowifIshouldsayanythingaboutit.MaybeIshouldoffertobuysometakeout.

Of course, I didn’t give nearly enough credit to Jillian and Will’s lifestyle. There was a full fridge,

andoncewegotinside,Jillstartedpullingthingsouttocookdinner.

“Youdon’thavetocookforme!”Itoldher.MystomachliterallygrowledasIsaiditandbetrayedmy

hunger.

“IliketocookAnnaLynne,andI’mgoodatit.NotasgoodasWill—I’mabetterbaker—butletme

showoffalittle.”

Thekitchenwastoosmallformetobeintherewithher,butitdidhaveabar,completewithtwovery

ricketybarstoolsontheotherside.Therewasnotable,soIassumedthiswaswheretheyate.Eitherway,
Isatmyhungrybuttinthatstoolandwatchedthemagic.

Itseemedtotakenotimeatall,andshehadwhippedupsomepastawithpesto,tomatoes,artichoke,

andspinach.

Itwasfan-freaking-tastic.“Holycow,I’mcomingovereverynighttoeatifyoukeepmakingstufflike

this.”

Jillsfacelituplikeaflashlight.“Willwouldhaveshowedoffandmadethepastafromscratch,too.”
“IthinkIwastoohungrytowaitforhomemadepasta.”Iwrinkledmynoseatthethought,thenlooked

downatmyveryfullbelly,fullyexposedsincewehadn’tchangedfromourswimsuitsyet.

“Metoo,buthewouldhavedoneitanyway.He’sashowoffinthekitchen.”Sherolledhereyes,but

didn’t sound too annoyed by his culinary habits. I helped her wash dishes, even though I think she
would’vemanageditquickerifIhadn’t.Washingdisheswasn’texactlyaskillthatI’dgainedduringmy
childhood.

Wetookturnstakingshowersinthesharedbathroomtowashthechlorineoff,andJillhandedmeabig

t-shirttouseaspajamas,sincethosewereamongthethingsI’dleftathome.Afterwards,weputonan
80’steenmoviemarathon,workingourwaythroughalltheBratPack'sgreatesthitswhilecoziedonthe
couchunderabigblanket.

I woke up to someone fumbling at the door. I checked the clock on the wall and it said it was only

aroundeleven.

IlookedoveratJillianandhereyeswerehugeandterrified.Thatimmediatelycrossedoutthethought

thatitmightbeWillhomeearlyfromwork—hewasn’tduebackforanotherhoursincehehadtowaitfor
hisridewhoworkedinthekitchen.

Hervoicescreamedout.“Goaway.I’llcallthecopsthistime,Jack.IsweartoGod.”Therewasn’t

evenahintofthefearinhervoicethatIsawinhereyesbythelightoftheDVDmenu.

Thefumblingstopped,andweheardavoiceontheotherside.Itwasn’tJack’s.Atleast,nottheJack

I’dmetatthepartyonFridaynight.Thismanwasolder,andJillstoodupandwalkedtothedoorwhen
sheheardit.Herbodylostitsfrightenedtenseness,andsheseemedalittleannoyednow.

I stood up, not sure what I was supposed to be doing, but eager to be ready in case something

happened. She opened the door, and half blocked the entrance so whoever it was wouldn’t think they
couldcomein.

“What do you want Henry?” Jill asked. She sounded sad, and I walked closer. The smell of booze

wafted in from the doorway, making me get even closer. What is this drunk person doing here at this
timeofnight?

The person on the other side of the door mumbled something. I didn’t catch it, because the slurring

wasprettybad,butJillsighedandsteppedaside,openingthedoorwideenoughforthemantocomein.

Now

Istandupandstretch—wereallyneedtogetbettercushionsforthesepatiochairs.
“Whatareyoudoing?Youcan’tstopthere!”Laylanearlyscreamsatme.
“Mybuttisgettingnumb,Layla,”Itellher.
Shefrownsatme.“Well,whilewe’repausing,letmeruninsideandtinkle.”She’soutofherchairina

flashandrunsinside.

It’sgoodthatshe’sinsidesoquickly,becauseachuckleescapes.Laylamustbetheonlypersononthe

planetwhocangetawaywithsaying“tinkle”asanadult.ImoseyaroundthepatiowhileIwaitforher
andstretchoutmylegs.Thesunisgettinglowinthesky,thebreezeisplayingwithmyhairanddryingthe
sweatthathasgatheredonthebackofmyknees.Iclosemyeyesandenjoyit;enjoytheheathuggingmy
skinandthebreezecaressingit.Icansmelltheseaintheair,andI’mpulledtothefarsideofthepatio
wheretheoceanisonfulldisplayinthedistance,justafewminutesbikerideaway.

“Okay, that’s enough lolly-gagging. Get your butt back in that chair and tell me who in the world

showedup?Ohman,thisisexciting.”

Laylaisfanningherself,andIwonderifshewasthismuchofaSouthernstereotypebeforeshewentto

schoolinOxford,orifI’vejustbeenawayfromGeorgiafortoolong.

“HowwasschoolinMississippi?”Iaskher.
“Don’tyoudaretrytochangethesubject.”
Ismile.“Idon’tknow,Layla,Ithinkmaybeyoushouldtalkforaminute.Mythroatisfeelingawfully

dry.”

Sheglaresatme.
“Okay,okay!”

Then

“S’this?”themanaskedafterhealmosttrippedintotheapartmentandcaughtsightofme.Igotawhiff

ofmorethanjustbooze,andwhenJillturnedonanearbylamp,Isawthatithadbeenquiteawhilesince
theman—Henry—hadbathed.

“Afriend,Dad.Don’tworryabouther.Whatdoyouwant?”Jilliansaid,irritationthickinhertone.
Ididn’tknowwhattodoexceptjuststandthere.Thismanwasherfather?Helookedhomeless!
“Aw,can’tafathercomebytoseehisonlychildr’n?”Helookedaround.“Where’syourbrother?”
“He’sworking.He’salwaysworkingwhenyoudecidetocomeby.Don’tpretendthatyoudon’tknow

that.”Jillturnedherbackandwentintothekitchen.Acabinetgetsshutalittletoofiercely.

“So, you’re a friend of my lil’girl? Whast’your name?” He was swaying a little, side to side, as he

stoodthere.

“Uh—”
Jillcamebackout,savingmefromhavingtoanswer.“Itoldyounottoworryabouther,Henry,”she

saidwhileshovingabrownpapersackinoneofherfather’shandsandwhatlookedlikesomemoneyin
hisother.“It’syourusual.Foodandmoney.Will’sgoingtobehomeanyminute,sodon’tbotheraskingfor
more.”

“AwJillyBean,tha’snotwhyIcome—”
“Saveit,Dad.NowgetoutofherebeforeWillgetshome,”Jillsaid.Shesoundedsotired.
Hiseyesfocusedlongenoughtolookathisdaughter.“You’reagoodgirl,Jilly.”Then,justasquickly

ashearrived,heturnedaroundandwalkedbackoutthedoor.

Jillian walked up and locked the door behind him, then turned to look at me. “Uh, so that just

happened.” She looked so embarrassed. “Don’t worry, he won’t be back tonight. And he’s mostly
harmlessanyway;toodrunktocauseanyrealtrouble.”

“Howoftendoeshecomeover?”Iasked.
She looked away. “Oh, barely ever.” I knew she was lying. “Look, I would rather Will not find out

aboutit.”

“Uh,hedoesn’tknow?”
“Imean,DadusedtocomearoundwhenWillwashere,too,butWillkeptcallingthepoliceonhim.

NowDadjustcomeswhenWillisgone,andIhaven’tfelttheneedtoenlightenhim.”Shewascracking
herknuckles,andIdidn’tknowifshewasnervousoronlyembarrassed.

“Soyoulie?Doesn’thehatethat?”
Shelookedatmesharply.“Idon’tlietomybrother.Itjusthasn’tcomeup,andWillwouldn’tapprove

ofmygivinghimanything,especiallymoney.Butit’smymoneyand…”shetrailedoff.

I wasn’t sure I approved either, but I didn’t know the situation at all. The air was thick with the

awkwardnessofwhatjusthappened.

“Wantsomepopcorn?”Jillaskedsuddenly.Ithinksheknewneitherofusweregoingbacktosleep

rightaway.

Ismiled.“Definitely.”
Ihikedmyselfbackontothestoolbythekitchenwhileshethrewabaginthemicrowave.
“So…”Therewassomethingelsethatwasbotheringme.“WhydidyouthinkitwasgoingtobeJack

insteadofyourdad?”Iasked.

“Oh, that. Uh, he’s come around a few times when Will is working late.” She kept her eyes down,

pouringthenowfinishedpopcornintotwoseparatebowls.“That’soneofthereasonsIwassogladyou
cameover—henevercomesinsideoranything,butit’sstillkindacreepywhenit’sjustmehere.”

Inoddedmyheadbecauseitsoundedterrifyingtome.“Whydoesheevencomehere,though?”
Webothmovedbacktothecouch,popcorninlaps.

“Imean,weweretogetherforawhile.Hewasajerk,though.”Sherubbedherarms.“We’dbreakup,

then get back together, but the last time was the final straw. He’s just not handling it very well; keeps
thinkingI’mgoingtochangemymindandgetbackwithhim.”

“What’dhedo?”
“Openedmyeyes,”shesaid.“Well,that’showitfeels.Hewasalwaysveryhot/coldwithme.When

he was cold, he was cruel and would throw things. Call me names. That sort of thing. It’d get bad and
we’dbreakup,thenhewouldgetallsweetagain,tryingtogetmeback.

“I’dbestupidenoughtobelievehispromisestochange,thenitwouldjuststartalloveragain.The

laststrawwaswakingupatLandon'splacewithnomemoryofgettingthere.Wewereataparty,andI
wassupposedtobedrivingthatnightsoIknowIdidn’tdrink.Anyway,Idon’trememberthis,butLandon
saidhecameinoneofthebackrooms,andIwaspassedout.Myclotheswereon,butLandonsaidthe
vibewasrealbad.JackgotallupsetLandonwasbackthere,likehehadwalkedinonaprivatepartyor
something. Landon scooped me up and next thing I know I’m coming to the next morning to the very
concernedlooksofmybrotherandhisbestfriend.Willwasworkinglateshift,andcouldn’tbereached
untilthemorning.Hewaslivid.”

“Holyshit.”
“Yeah. I mean, Landon got there before… Well, Will made me go to the doctor and do a kit, you

know?WhichisthemostembarrassingthingI’veevergonethrough,butheinsisted.Itwasnegative,thank
God,butIwassoafraiduntiltheresultscamebackthatIknewIcouldneverputmyselfinthatsituation
again,andvowedtostayawayfromJack.”

“Didy’allfileapolicereport?Imean,that’sabigdeal!”
“Wetriedto,butwerebasicallytoldthatateenagegirlgettingwastedatapartyandpassingoutwith

herboyfriendwasn’tacrime,exceptforthedrinkingbit.ThefactthatIdidn’tdrinkwastoofarfetched.
Thentheymadesomevaguethreatsaboutinformingourparentsandwehightaileditoutoftherebeforea
calltothesocialworkerwasmade.Lookingbackonit,wewereprobablyoverreacting.”Shesounded
morelikeshewastryingtoconvinceherselfofthat.

“Jacksoundsreallydangerous,Jillian.DoesWillknowhecomesbyatnightwhenhe’snothere?”I

asked.

“Um,Idon’twanttoworryhim,youknow?He’llflipout,andwecan’taffordforhimtogetinany

typeoftroublelikethat.”

“Jill,I’mnotsureI’mcomfortablekeepingthattidbittomyself.”Warningbellsweregoingoffinmy

head.

“AnnaLynne,youhavetopromiseyouwon’tsayanything!”
I eyed her warily. “You have to promise me that you won’t be here alone on the nights Will is at

work.”

“It’s really fine. He can’t get in, I’m really good about locking the door. Besides, I don’t think he

woulddoanythingtome,hejustwantstotalk.Hewasprobablyjustdrunkattheparty—youknowhow
guysgetwhenthey’vehadtoomuchtodrink.”

Ididn’tlikethatshewasnormalizingthis.“Idon’tcareJillian,that’sthedeal.Youcancomespendthe

night at my place, or I can come over, or whatever. But if you don’t want me to tell him, you have to
promise.Youhavetoswear,okay?”

“Fine,AnnaLynne.Look,it’sreallynotabigdeal.Evenifhegotin,he’sneverhurtmelikethat,andI

knowbetterthantodrinksomethingfromhim—ifthat’sevenwhathappened.ButIpromise,okay?”She
looked upset, and I was afraid that maybe I shouldn’t have pushed her. We hadn’t been friends long
enough to make demands like that. She wasn’t stupid and could certainly take care of herself far better
thanIprobablycould.

Weheardkeysjinglinginthedoor.Jilljumpedupwithacouch-pillowwhileIcoveredmybarelegs

withtheblanket.Forsomereason,I’dbeentooshockedtocareIwasonlywearingalarget-shirtwhen
their dad dropped in, but I felt exposed if it were Will. Jill reached the door right as it opened and
slammedWillwiththepillowassoonashesteppedthrough.

“Really?”hesaid,stillhalfblockedfrommyviewbythedoor.“Jillian,seriously,I’mtiredandjust

want—”Willstoppeddeadwhenhetookanotherstepinandsawme.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”

“Sleepover.Uh,Jillinvitedme.”
Hewassilentandlookedtheexactoppositeofhappyatseeingme,untilJilliancharlie-horsedhim.
“Ouch,Jilly.Whatthecrapwasthatfor?”Willrubbedhisarmwhereshehithim.
“Forbeinganass,”shetoldhim.“Areyouhungry?Imadepasta,andthere’ssomeleftover.”
Tensionlefthisshoulders.“SorryAl,Ijustwasn’texpectingyou.Uh,I’llgetmyselfsomethingJilly.”

Helookedawkwardthough,likemybeingtherewasmakinghimsupremelyuncomfortable.

“Okay.C’monAnnaLynne,let’sfinishourmovie.”Jillturnedthelampbackoffandturnedthemovie

on. I couldn’t really concentrate on it, though. I really wanted to get up and watch Will in the kitchen
preparewhateveritwasthatheplannedoneating.Iwasrelievedwhen,afewminuteslater,hecameto
sitinthemiddleofthecouch,betweenmeandJill,withasandwichandchipsonhislap.Hewassitting
closertomethantohissister,butnotquitecloseenoughthatwecouldtouch.IimaginedthatIcouldfeel
theheatofhislegonmine,butrealizeditwasprobablyinmyhead.Hefinishedhisfood,thengotupwith
hisplate.Ireallyhopedhewasjustgoingbacktothekitchenandwouldberightback,andmyearswere
sotrainedonhismovementsthatIdidn’tevenlaughwhen,inthemovie,HelenHuntstartedsinging“Day
O”inthemiddleofchoirpracticesoSarahJessicaParkercouldsneakofftodancepracticewithahunky
publicschoolboy.

Imademybodyrelaxwhenhedidcomeback.Ontheothersideofthecouch,itlookedlikeJillhad

fallenasleep.Iwasn’tevenslightlytired,notwithWillsittingrightnexttome.

“Doyouwantsomeblanket?”Iaskedhim.
“Uh,sure,”hesaid.ItriedtoignorehislookingatmewhileIrearrangedtheblankettocoverhimtoo.

“Areyouwearingmyshirt?”heaskedoncewewerebothsettled.

“Ohmygosh,amI?JilliangaveittomesinceIforgotmyPJ’s.Icangochange.”Ifeltlikeaweird

stalkergirl,eventhoughI’dhadnoidea.

“No,it’sfine.Itlooksgoodonyou.”Hehadthatlookinhiseyesagain.Icouldseeiteventhoughit

wasdark,andIwascaughtagain,unabletolookaway.

Finally,hepulledhisgazeaway,releasingme.“Youcanputyourfeetinmylapifyouwantto,”he

offered,lookingintentlyatthescreenasifGirlsJustWannaHaveFunwasthebestfilmhe’deverseen.

Ididn’tsayanything,buttherewasnowayIwasmissingoutonthatchance.Hewastoocloseforme

toputmyfeetinhislap,soIsettledwithhookingmylegsoverhis.Willscootedinalittlemore,resting
hishandsonmykneesovertheblanket.

Itriednottobreathe,becauseIwasafraidifIbreathedhe’dmove,andIdidn’twanthimtomove.My

eyeswereforwardeventhoughIwasdyingtolookathim,andsoonIfeltmyselfdozingoff.EventhoughI
knewIshouldgetupandgotobedinJill’sroom,Ideliberatelyclosedmyeyes,soakingupthecontact
withWillsinceIdidn’tknowwhenthatopportunitywouldcomeagain,andletmyselffallasleeponthe
couch.

*****

Thenextmorningcamewithastiffneck.Well,thatwasthefirstthingInoticed.Italsocamewitha

headrestingonmystomach.Will’shead,tobeexact.Iwasstillmostlyinthesamepositiononthecouch,
butWillhadmanagedtolaydownwithoutdisturbingmyslumber,andwasusingmytummyasapillow
with his arm wrapped around me and the blanket, locking me in tighter than a straightjacket. Jill was

there,too,butshewasstandinginfrontofthecouch,wavingamugofcoffeerightinfrontofmyeyes.

“Ithoughtthiswouldwork,”shesaidwhenshenoticedmyeyeswereopen.“Y’alllookedsoadorable

allsnuggledupthatIdidn’twanttowakeyou.Butwehavetogotowork,so…”Shetrailedoff,shrugging
hershoulders.

Willwasstillsleepinghard,andIwiggledalittletoseeifitwasgoingtobepossibleformetogetup

withoutwakinghimup.ThenIwiggledalittleharder,becausenaturewascalling—loudly.

“Needhelp?”Jillaskedme,grinningdown.“Willisareallydeepsleeper.Youcouldjumponhimand

hewouldn’twakeup.”

“Yesplease!Hisheadisrightonmybladder,”Iwhispered,tryingnottodisturbhim.
Jillleanedover,grabbedherbrother’sarm,andpulledhimtothefloorwherehelandedfacedown,

thensherantothekitchen.

“Whyyyy?” Will half moaned half yelled, grabbing the closest thing to him and throwing it in the

directionhethoughthissisterwasin.Theclosestthingwasashoe,andIknewwhysherushedtoanother
roomsincetheshoewasthrownprettyhard.Thenhewasperfectlystilllongenoughformetothinkhe
mighthavefallenbacktosleepbeforeheliftedhisheadandlookedoveratme,stillonthecouchtryingto
untanglemyselffromtheblanketandpullingdownmyshirtwithoutflashinghimmypanties.Hegroaned
andhisfaceturnedred.“I’msorry,Al.”

“Forwhat?”Iasked,finallycertainIcouldstandupwithmydignityintact.
“I think I just threw your shoe.” Will’s voice was deeper when he first woke up, and raspy. It was

sexy.

“Oh, that.” But I didn’t say anything else, just rushed to the restroom. My hair was a hot mess, it

alwayswaswhenIfirstwakeup,andIwasalittleembarrassedtoseeWillwithoutknowingwhy.SoI
wentstraighttoJill’sroomandgotreadybeforeventuringbackintothelivingroom.

WillwasinthebathroomwhenIcameout,andJillwasdowningthecupofcoffeethatshe’dusedto

wakemeupwith.Icollectedmyshoesfromoppositesidesofthelivingroomandsatdowntoputthem
on,thenwentintothekitchennexttoJill.

“Wherearetheglasses?I’mdyingofthirst!”
“Here,butdrinkfast.AssoonasWillcomesoutwe’regone.”
IwasthirstierthanIthought,becauseIchuggedthewater,inadvertentlyspillingsomedownmychinin

theprocess.

“Hot,”JillcommentedwhenIusedthebackofmyhandtowipemymouth.
“Youtwoready?”Willasked,standinginthelittlearchwaytothekitchenwithhiskeysinhishand.
“Readywhenyouare,”Jillanswered,whileIwasjustdesperatelyhopinghedidn’tseemydribble.

SherinsedhermuginthesinkandwalkedpastWill.

Imovedtodothesame,butWillwasn’tmovingtothesidelikehehadwithhissister.
“Al,arewestillonforthebeachafterwards?”heasked.
“Yes,ifyoustillwantto.”Whywasmyfacered?Whywasthissoawkward?
Hesmiled,puttingmebackatease.“Good.Don’tforgetyourswimsuit—beach,right?”Hesteppeda

littleclosertome.

Ismiledinreturn.“We’dbetterbegoingtothebeach.”Wewerecloseenoughnowthathecouldkiss

me,andthewayhiseyesflickeddowntomymouthprovedthathewantedto.

Now

“Pleasetellmeyoufinallykiss!”Laylasays,leaningforwardwithherelbowsproppedonthetable.
“Layla,we’dalreadykissedatthispoint,”Iremindher.
“Mere pecks. Please tell me you stick your tongue down that boy’s throat at some point before this

storyends.”

Ilaughinresponse.“Jillwasrightthereandweweregoingtobelateforworkifwetookanymore

time.”

“Hmph.”Shelooksatme.“Idon’tlikethatyoupromisedtohidethefactthatJackwascomingover

fromWill.”Hervoiceisthoughtful,serious.

I’mquietforabit.
“I did end up telling him. Jill wasn’t pleased with me, because he made sure she had a babysitter

everywhereshewentafterthat.”Sheusedthatbrokenpromiseasleveragetogetmetogotoapartywith
herlaterthatsummer.Tothisday,Iconsideritmybiggestregret.

“Goodforhim.”
“Jillianwashisfavoriteperson,hewasterrifiedsomethingwouldhappentoher.”
We’rebothquietnow,becauseweknowsomethingdidhappen.Iwonderifheeverstoppedblaming

meforit.

IwonderifI’lleverstopblamingmyselfforit.

Then

Workthatdaywentbyquickly,butnotquicklyenough.Icouldn’tstopthinkingaboutmydatewithWill

afterwork.Iwasantsy,wishingJillianhadgivenusjustafewmoreminutesaloneinthekitchenbefore
shebustedintoshoousoutthedoor.

A few minutes alone with Will was exactly what I was wanting, and it was something I apparently

wasn’tdestinedtogetimmediatelyafterwork.WhenIgotoffafterthelunchrush,Ihadjustenoughtime
tochangeintomyswimsuitandcursethetwodaygrowthonmylegsbeforeWillwasalsooff,andwe
wereheadedtothebeach.

“How’s your first week going?” Will asked me while we weaved through the unusually high bike

traffic.

“Ilikeitalot,”Ianswered,surprisingmyselfwiththeamountofenthusiasmIused.
“Ithinkit’sprettycool—you’reworkingeventhoughyoudon’treallyneedto.”Wewereatthebeach

nowandWillpickedaspotclosertothewater,droppedthebackpackhewascarryingandpulledouttwo
poorlyfoldedtowels.

“Um,thankyou?”Thatwasacompliment,right?
“I also think it’s a little crazy. Why are you working when you don’t have to?” He looked up at me

withthisquestion,andIdidn’tknowhowtorespond.

“Idon’tknow,tobehonest.Iguessit’sgivingmesomethingtodo,awayfromeverything,”Itoldhim.
“Yeah,butyouusuallyhangoutattheCluballsummer,don’tyou?”Hewentbacktothetowels,laying

theminthesandforustositon.

“Well, yeah I do. I don’t know, hanging out at the pool all day and taking a random tennis lesson

doesn’treallyfeellikemeanymore.”Ididn’taddsinceDaddydied,butIwasthinkingit.Nothingabout
mefeltthesameanymore,andIdidn’tknowwhy.“Wait,howdoyouknowIusuallyhangoutattheClub
allsummer?”

“Uh,I’veworkedtheregoingonthreeyears.I’veseenyouthere.”Then,beforeIcouldproperlyget

the images of his watching me gossip with the other Club-Girls out of my head—and feel the
embarrassment at his seeing that side of me—he continued, “I used to caddy for your dad. He really
helpedoutmeandJilllastsummer.Yourdadwasagreatguy,reallycaredaboutpeople.Wewerereal
sorrytohearabouthispassing.OldPatty,ourcar,wasgivingustroublewhenwewereonourwaytothe
funeral.Wedidn’tmaketheservice,butwegotthererightwheneveryonewasleavingthecemetery.Lots
oftrees.Ithinkhewould’velikedallthetrees.”

Tearscloggedmythroat.Hecaredenoughtodriveallthatway.Evenafterknowinghewasgoingto

missthefuneral,hestillwenttosaygoodbyetoDaddy?Irealizedhe’dbeenramblingwhenhetoldme
allofthis,likehewasconfessingasecret.Ishimmiedoutofmyshorts,pulledoffmytanktop,andsat
downonthetowel.Hesatdown,too,andIwastoolostinthoughtsaboutDaddytoproperlyoglehim
withoutashirton.

“Daddypickedoutthatgraveyardbecauseofallthetrees.Whenhegotdiagnosed,heknewhedidn’t

havemuchtimeanddidn’twanttoleavethatdecisionuptoMama.Heknewshe’dhaveenoughtodeal
with.Hewantedustobeprepared.Oncehefoundthatplace,hemadeusalljumpinthecarandgosee.It
wasthelasttimewewerealltogetheroutsideofthehospital.Mamathoughtitwassomorbid,walking
aroundthecemeterythathewasgoingtobeburiedin.Shefoughtwithhimandendedupwaitinginthe
car.”

“Mr.Cartwrightwasa...uniqueman,”Willsaidinsuchawayastobeinterpretedas“weirdman.”
“Hewassmart,”Isaidharshly.“Hewantedustohaveagoodmemoryinthatplace.EverytimeIvisit,

Ithinkaboutthatwalk.Notabouthisbeingburiedundertheearth.Ithinkabouthim.”Daddydidhisbest
toeaseoursuffering.Heshouldhavebeenmorefocusedonhimselfduringhislastweeks,buthelovedus

betterthanthat.Healwaysputusfirst,andmeandMamahadcometoexpectthat.Wewereademanding
pair, and maybe if he’d put himself first a little more often, he would have seen someone about his
headachesbeforethingsgotsobad.

“Ididn’tmeananyoffense,AnnaLynne.YourfatherwasoneofthebestpeopleIknew.Caringabout

youguyslikethat—notallparentswouldcareenoughtodothat.Hewasuniquebecauseofhowheloved
y’all.It’sagoodthing.”

I took a few breaths to calm down, and used a lighter tone when I talked next. “You seem to have

knownhimreallywellforacaddy.”

Willbrokeeyecontactwithme.“LikeIsaid,hereallyhelpedmeandJilloutlastsummer.Weowed

himalot.”

“Washethelawyerthathelpedyougetguardianship?”Isaiditquietly,notsureifitwassomethinghe

wantedmetoknowaboutyet,butIdidn’tlikehavinginformationabouthimthathedidn’tknowIhad.

“Jilltoldyou?Yeah,hewas.Itwasn’taseasyasitsounds.WehadtohireaPItofindmymomand

provethatshewasunfitaswell.Sheleftuswhenwewerelittle.Dadwasclearlyunfit,butbothparents
had to be found incompetent before they would consider me suitable, and there was a really scary bit
whentheyhadagreedthatourparentswereunsuitable,buthadn’tquiteagreedtoallowmetakecareof
Jilly.Ithoughtshe’dendupinfostercare.Yourdadwasthereforallofthat.”

“Hemusthavereallycaredaboutyouguys.Ihadnoidea.”Itdidn’tmakemefeeljealoustoknowthat

Daddymusthavecaredaboutthem.ItmademefeelsadthatIhadn’tbeenabitmorelikehimandnoticed
Willbeforethissummer.IwasalsocomfortedbythethoughtthatDaddyhadmetWill,andhadapproved
ofhim.HavingDaddyapproveoftheboyIwasseeingwasafeelingIdidn’tthinkI’deverhaveagain,
andIknewIwouldn’texperiencethatwithanyoneelse.Thetopicwasgettingalittletoohardtostayon
andkeepthetearsinmythroatandnotrunningdownmyface.

“What about your Mom?” I asked the first question that came to mind. I was a nosy busybody, and

didn’tknowalickabouttheirmotherleavingthem,andIwantedto.

“Whatabouther?”
“Didshetrytocomebackintoy’allslifeoncethePItrackedherdown?”
“Definitely not. She wasn’t notified, we just used the evidence the PI gathered to show she worked

badhoursandhadanobviousdrugproblem.Thefactthatsheabandoneduswhenwewerelittleshould
havebeenenoughtoproveshedidn’twantusthough.Droppedherkidsoffatschoolforthefirstday,and
justdisappeared.”

“Ohmygosh,what?”
“Yeah.Whenwerealizednoonewasgoingtobepickingusupthatday,wewalkedhometofindDad

sittingintheemptylivingroom,boozedup.SheclearedoutthehouseandourDadnevercrawledback
outofthebottle.”

IwaslookingathimlikeIusuallywaswhenweweretogether;hewasanenigmaandIcouldn’tquite

figurehimout.Hewasstaringstraightahead,jawtense.Oneofmyhandscreptovertohisclenchedone
andgrabbedhold.HelookedoveratmeandIsawasimmeringangerand,underneaththat,pain.Ilostone
parent,butDaddydidn’tchoosetoleave.Iwasangry,butnotatDaddy.Iwasinpain,butitwasavery
differenttypeofpainthanIsawinWill’seyes.WhathappenedtohimandJill—Icouldn’tevenfathom
whatthatwouldfeellike.

Slowly, eyes locked on each other, his expression softened. For the second time that day, my eyes

zeroedinonhismouthandIcouldfeelthetwoofusleaningincloser.

“What’sup,guys!AnnaLynne,right?”
Will’s eyes closed and I heard a groan escape. “Landon, what are you doing?” he asked without

botheringtoturnaround,wherehisfriendwasstandingandeffectivelyblockingoutthesun.

“Dude,it’sthebeachandIhaveadayoff.WhatdoyouthinkI’mdoing?”

“Interrupting,”Willsaid,grumpily.Hedidfinallylookbackoverhisshoulderathispretendcousin.
Iwasalittledisappointedatthearrivalofourthirdwheel,butnottooupset.Landonwasagoofand

always seemed to gather a crowd. Within the hour, we had several other beach towels and blankets
parkednexttoours.Irecognizedsomeofthepeoplefromthepartytheothernight,butnotall.Willwas
good about introducing me, and even though I still wanted to have him to myself, I had to admit I was
having a blast. It’d been too long since I’d hung out with a group of friends, and with Landon being so
extroverted and Will acting as my personal security blanket, the typical anxiety that I was so good at
hidingaroundnewpeopledidn’tevenpopup.Weswamintheoceanwhenthesungottoohot,andplayed
alittlevolleyballwhensittingstillgottooboring.

IwassunburntafewhourslaterwhenWillfinallydroppedmeoffathome.
“Todaywasgreat,Will,”Itoldhim,walkingasslowlyaspossibleuptothefrontporch.
“I’mgladyouhadfun.”
Wewereholdinghandsagain,andIwaspleasantlysurprisedwhenWillwalkedmearoundtotheside

porchwheretheswingwasinsteadoftothedoor.Icouldn’thelpthegrinonmyface.

“Wasthisourthirddate?Orarewecountingfamilydinnerasadate?”Iaskedhimwhenwesatdown

ontheswing.Iwasalittlechillybecauseofthesunburn,butWillhadagoodcureforthatandliftedmy
legs to put in his lap. Not quite like the previous night on the couch, though. This time we were sitting
rightnexttoeachother,mylegshookedoverhisandhisarmwrappedaroundme,Iforgotwhatcoldfelt
like.Iforgotwhatlonelyfeltlike,andwhatlostfeltlike.

“Idon’tknow.Shouldwecountsleepingtogether...onthecouch?”Icouldhearthesmileinhisvoice.
“Thatwouldmakefivethen,”Iholdoutmyfingersasavisualtally.
“We’repracticallymarriedatthispoint,”hesaid.
Myfacewasonfire,andIwasbeyondgladhecouldn’tseeit.
“Thanksforbeingagoodsportabouttoday,”hesaidafterafewmomentsofsilence.
“Whatdoyoumean?”Ithinkbackandtrytorecallahitchinourperfectbeachday.
“Youknow,withLandonandeveryoneelseshowingup.Ihadplannedonjustthetwoofus,butdidn’t

knowhowtotelleveryonetobugoffwithoutsoundinglikeatool.”

“Oh. No, it was fun.” I pulled away from under his arm so I could look him in the face. “I mean, I

wouldhavelikedtohavemoretimejustthetwoofus,butIreallydidhavefun.”

“Alonetimeseemstobeararecommodityforme.Anykindoftime,really.”Hewasquietaftersaying

that,andwasn’tlookingatme.

Istartedinternallyfreakingout.Didthatmeanhedidn’thavetimetodate?Washebreakingupwith

meafteronlythree-maybe-fivedates?

“Okay,”Isaidquietly.
Finallyhelookedatme,makingeyecontactinthesameintensewayIwasjuststartingtogetusedto.
“I just want to be upfront with you. I don’t have a lot of time.” He must have seen some of my

disappointmentinmyface,becauseherushedoutthenextbit.“Imean,Idefinitelywanttokeepseeing
you.Ijustdon’twanttoletyoudown.Iworkalot,andwhenI’moff,Landonhasthisuncannyknackof
findingme,andifit’snothim,thenit’sJill.”

“Will,we’vemanagedfivewholedatesinasmanydays—”
“Iguessthecouchdidcount—”
Ismiled.“Ithinkitdoes.AndIthinkIcanmakethatwork.Ifyoudon’tmindwastingyourminiscule

freetimehanging—”

“Wasting?!”Heshiftedsowewerereallyfacingeachother,andcuppedmycheekinhishand.“Time

withyouisnotwastinganything.”

Ismiled,becausehefellrightintomytrap.“What’stheproblem,then?”
Hesmiledback.“Icanstillthinkofone,”hesaidsoquietlyitwasalmostawhisper.

“What?”Isaidback,voiceequallyhushed.
Willleanedinclosertome.“Ican’tseemtothinkatallwhenI’mwithyou,andwhenI’mnot,Ican’t

seemtothinkaboutanythingbutyou.”

Ileanedinfurther,soclosethatourbreathmingled.“Istilldon’tseeaproblem.”Ourmouthsmetafter

that. I wasn’t sure which of us closed that small distance between our faces. Either way, our lips were
lockedandthiswasn’tsomepunythreesecondkisslikewe’dhadbefore.Thiswasafullthrottle,hands
inthehair,bodiespressedtogether,tongue-teasingkiss.BeforeIknewit,Iwassittingside-saddleinhis
lap,onehandholdinghisneckandtheotherhungrilyreachingunderhisshirttofeeltheskinonhisback.
Hishandswereperfectlystill,onestillonmycheekandtheothertangledinmyhair,asifhewereafraid
tomovethembecausehewasafraidofwherethey’dgo.

Idon’tknowhowlongwestayedthatway,longenoughtohaveagoodcaseofchappedlipsthenext

morning.Longenoughthatwhenwefinallypulledapart,mywholebodycriedoutagainstit.Criedoutfor
more.

But my phone had dinged. The alarm I’d set so I wouldn’t miss curfew had gone off, and I had a

feelingwe’dbothneedthelastfifteenminutestosortourselvesoutbeforedaringtogetoffoftheswing.

Islidoffhislap,butheheldfirmtomylegs.Iblushed,prettysureIknewwhyhedidn’twanthislap

exposedquiteyet,butdidn’tmentionit.Ladiesdidn’tpointoutthattypeofthing.

“Um.”Itriedthinkingofsomethingtotalkabout.
“Uh,Jillymentionedthatshe’dbespendingthenightwithyoutomorrow.”
“Really?”Shehadn’tsaidanythingtome,butshe’dmadeapromisenottostayhomealone.Imadea

mentalnotetoaskMamapermission,andtoholdJilliantohersupposedplansforasleepover.

“Yousoundsurprised.”
“We’dtalkedabouthercomingover.Ijustdidn’trealizewe’dsetadateyet.”Theguilthitme.Will

wasquiet,probablysensingthatIwasn’ttellingthewholetruth.

“Okay.Jillianmademepromisenottotellyou,andImadeherpromisenottospendthenightaloneat

y’allsapartmentwhenyouworklate,"Istartedtoramble.“Itcameupthatherex,Jack-the-Ass,hascome
byacoupleoftimeswhileyou’reatwork.Shesaysshe’sreallygoodatlockingthedooranddidn’twant
youtoknowsoyouwon’ttrytokillhimandwindupinjail,anditjustdidn’tsitrightwithme.SoItold
herIwouldn’tsayanythingaslongasshepromisedthatshewouldn’tbehomealone.I’massumingyou’re
workingtomorrownightandthat’swhyshesaidshewasgoingtospendthenight—tokeepherpromise.
ButnowI’vebrokenmine,butIfeltlikeyoushouldknow,and…”Itrailedoffofmyramble.Will’shands
werestillonmylegs,andtheyweresqueezinghardenoughtoalmostbeuncomfortable.

“Will,I—”
Hetookabreathandhisgripreleased,thoughhedidn’tmovehishands.“ThanksfortellingmeAnna

Lynne.Idon’tknowwhyJilliandidn’tthinkshecouldtellme,butthankyou.”

“AreyougoingtotellherItoldyou?”Iasked.IreallylikedJill,thelastthingIwantedtodowas

makehermadatme.

Hesatforaminute,considering.“No.Iknowmysister.Thiswayyoucanmakeherkeepherpromise,

and I’ll have the benefit of keeping an extra eye on her. Jack is dangerous. I don’t know why she still
doesn’tseethatabouthim.”Heleanedhisheadbackandclosedhiseyesforasecond.“Idon’tlikelying
toher.Wedon’tlietoeachother,anditdoesn’tsitwellthatshe’shidingsomethingfromme.”Willsat
backupandlookedatmeagain.“Ifheever,andImeaneverAllie,comesaroundwhenI’mnotwithyou
two,callthecopsandgetaway.Idon’tcareifthat’sanoverreaction.Jackgivesmeabadfeeling,and
Jillianiswaytooquicktooverlookcertainthingsaboutpeople.Promiseme,please.”

“OkayWill,Ipromise,”Isaidquietly,buthisstatementremindedmeaboutsomethingelseJillianwas

hiding from her brother. “Uh," I started, but didn’t know if I should say something. It didn’t seem
dangerousoranything,andIknewI’djustfeellikeabigtattletale.

“Istheresomethingelse?”
“Well,kinda,”Isaid.
“OhLord.Whatisit?Shedoesn’thaveanotherboyfriendorsomethingshehasn’ttoldmeabout,does

she?”Willsoundedstressedattheidea.WithJillian'strackrecordwithJack,Ididn’tblamehim.

“WhenIwasoverlastnight,someonedidcomeby.Itwasn’tJack,”Isaidquicklysohedidn’tfreak

out. “But, your father shows up sometimes when you aren’t there. Jill gave him some food and I think
somemoney,butthoughtitbesttokeepyouinthedarkbecauseshedidn’twantyouupset.”

Helaughed,thesoundsurprisingme.“Ican’tbelieveshestilldoesn’tknowthatIknow.”
“What?”
“I buy the brown sacks she puts the food in, not to mention replace the tupperware he never brings

back.DidshenotthinkI’dnoticeallourleftoversmagicallydisappearacoupletimesaweekwhenshe
nevereatsleftovers?Andhersecretstashofmoneyisn’tsosecret.Islipinalittleextraeveryoncein
awhiletocoverher‘fathersupport.’Sheshouldn’tspendhermoneyonhim.”

“Soyou’reokaywithit?”Iasked,genuinelysurprised.
“Itmakesherfeelgoodtohelphim,andkeepshimfromcausinganysceneswhichmakesmehappy.”
“Ifeelreallyguiltynow.IjusttoldyoutwothingsIwasn’tsupposedto.”Iwastheworstfriendever.
“Strange people visiting your friend in the middle of the night are not things you should keep to

yourself.You’reagoodfriend,AnnaLynne,”hetoldme,andIfeltreassuredbyhiswords.

Isnuggledintohim.“YoucancallmeAl.”
Heputanarmaroundmeandsqueezed.“HowaboutAllie?”

Now

“Oh Lord.” Layla is fanning herself. “Nothing like teenage romance. Making-out was so much more

funwhenwewereteenagers.Whyisthat?”

“Probablybecausenowweskipthefunstuffandgostraightforthe—”
“Goodstuff?”sheinterjects.
Ilaugh.“Iguess.Idon’treallyknow,though.WillandIalwayshadthatheat.Wecouldtalkforhours,

then try to swallow each other’s tongues for hours.” I ignore Layla’s snort of laughter. “I couldn’t get
enoughofhim.Ofanypartofhim.I’vealwayschalkedituptoteenagehormones,becauseIdon’tthink
I’veeverexperiencedthesametypeofheat.”

“That,mysister,iswhatpassionandtruelovedotoarelationship,”shesaysknowingly.
Idon’trespond,justmovetotakeasipofmydrink,butammetwithnothingbutmeltedicetrickling

intomymouth.

“Thebeachdatewithallthosepeoplesoundedlikeitwasalotoffun.”
“Oh,itwas.Itbecameabitofatradition,actually.Don’tyourememberustakingyouafewtimes?

Once or twice a week we’d all gather at the beach in front of the bakery. Will and I were the reigning
volleyballchamps,andweweren’tgracefulwinners.”Ilaughthinkingaboutit.

“Ididn’tknowthoseweredates!Though,Idorememberyoutwocarryingonafterwinningagame.

Didn’tyouhaveavictorydance?”

Laylaismakingfun,butIsmileanywaysinceshe’salmostright.
“Itwasahandshake,thankyouverymuch.Orahighfive.”IsmileatthememoryandwonderifIstill

knowthemoves.“Well,itinvolvedabitofboth,Isuppose,andperhapsanexplodingfistbump.”

Laylalaughs.“Idon’tbelieveit.”
“Believeit,babysister.Mygamedefinitelygotgoodthatsummer.Imadethevolleyballteamatthe

newschool,remember?”

Shenods.“That’sright!Mamaseemedsadyoudidn’tpickcheerleadingbackup.”
“Theydidn’thaveacheersquadwhenIwasthere.Iguessnoonethoughtcheerleadingwasnecessary

withoutanyboysattheschooltocheerfor.”LaylaandIbothrolloureyesatthatbitofdrivel.“Itwasa
danceteamorsomethinglikethat,butIwasn’tinterested.”Theall-girlboardingschoolIgotsenttofor
my senior year did have a top notch dance program. I think Mama picked it because she thought I’d be
happier being in a competitive dance group, and I did intend to join. Tryouts were the same day as
volleyballtryouts,andIwasstillheartbrokenoverthewayWillandIleftthings.SomehowIendedup
tryingoutforvolleyballinstead,becauseitremindedmeofhim.WemadethefinalsthatyearsoIhaveno
regrets.

“Your team picture is still on the wall in the gym, or it was last time I was back for an alumni

meeting.”

MamaconsideredmyimprovedbehaviorsuchasuccessthatshesentLaylathereforherentirehigh

schooleducation.

“Youmustbetheyoungestpersonontheboard,”Isay.Laylaisonalotofboardsandcommittees.
“Well,theyneededsomeoneyoungenoughtorememberwhatbeingateenagerislike.Besides,who

elseisgoingtokeeptheschool’ssocialnetworkstrong?ThoseladiesprobablythinkInstagramisatype
ofcarb.”

“Howdoyoufindthetimetokeeptrackofitall?”
“It’sliterallywhatIdo,AnnaLynne.”Shelooksverypleasedwithherself.
“HowistheChamberdoing?”Iask.LaylaisthenewMarketingandEventsManagerattheChamber

ofCommerceforthearea.Itsuitsherperfectly,andherownpenchantforbeingapartofeverythinghelps
herbefantasticatherjob,sinceshealreadyknowsallthemembers.

“It’sdoinggreat,butyouaren’tfinished.”Shetouchesthehomebuttononherphoneandwincesatthe

time.“Thecatererswillbeheresoon.You’dbesthurryifyouplanonhelpingmedecidewhattoservefor
yourparty.”

Then

ThesummerwasgoingbyquicklybetweenworkandhangingoutwithWillorJillian.Istayedoutof

thehouseasmuchaspossible,whichdidn’thelpthetensionbetweenmeandMama.IdideverythingI
couldtoavoidbeinginherpresencetothepointthatevenGramstriedtosaysomethingaboutit.Iwasn’t
technically doing anything wrong, though. I came home before curfew, and brought Layla with me
sometimes to the beach to hang out. But I was almost always out the door before Mama got up for the
morning,andstayedgoneaslongaswasacceptable.Iavoidedtalkingtoher,becauseitwasbecoming
moreandmoredifficulttocurbmytonguearoundher,andIdidn’twanttogetmyselfgrounded.

IthelpedthatIspentsomuchtimewithJillian,andthatsheheldtruetoherpromisetome.Shecame

overtospendthenightjustasoftenasIspentthenightthere—somethingonlypermittedonthenightsWill
worked late and we all had work early the next morning. I knew that was far more trust than most
teenagershad,andneitherWillnorIeverdidanythingtobreakthattrust.

Well,Willnevertriedbecausehewastoohonorable,andIwastoomuchofachickentomakethefirst

movetoroundafewmorebases.Becauseofourschedulesandthenearconstantsisterlychaperone,our
relationshipstayedprettyPG-13.

Itwasn’tuntilJulywascomingtoaclosethatwefinallyhadmorethananhourtoourselves.Jillwas

workingatthebakerythatmorning,andIwasspendingthenightsinceWillwasscheduledtocloseatthe
Club.Weweregoingtohavea“girlday”thenextday,sincewewerebothoffandWillworkedadouble.

Butinthemeantime,Willhadplannedarealdate.We’dbeenoutafewtimes,ofcourse,butIwas

excited to spend most of the day with him until he had to be at work. We were going canoeing, so I
resistedtheurgetoputonmynicestsundressandsettledforthenewbathingsuitI’djustgot:anicecoral
bikinithatreallyaccentuatedthetanI’daccumulatedduringmybeachdayswithWill.Itossedonawhite
cotton cover up and headed downstairs to the kitchen to make some scrambled eggs for myself while I
waited for Will. His voice was in my head while I cooked, and I remembered the afternoon he took it
uponhimselftoteachmehowtomakeeggs.Landonhadbeenoverathisplace,too,andwasalittletoo
generouswithhiscritiquingwhileIlearnedsomethingthatmostpeoplelearnedwhentheywereLayla’s
age.

RightwhenIsatdowntoeat,Mamawalkedin.
“Whatareyoudoing,AnnaLynne?”
Resisttheeyeroll,Al.“Justeatingsomebreakfast,Mama.”
“IthoughtBettywasofftoday,”shesaid,eyeingmyplate.
“Imadethesemyself.”
Herlipspursed.“I’mnotsureyoushouldbemessingaroundbyyourselfinthekitchen—”
“She’splentyoldenoughtomakeherowneggs,Lilian.”Grams,asalways,cameintosaveme.
Mamasighed.“Isupposeyou’reright.Ican’tbelievehowmuchyou’vegrown,AnnaLynne.”Shesat

down next to me at the counter. “Are you excited for your last year of high school? I know we haven’t
donealotoftalking,whatwithmyplanningtheweddingandeverything—”

Icheckedthetimeonmyphoneandhurriedlyshovedanotherbiteinmymouth,thenstooduptorinse

mydish.“Willisgoingtobehereanysecond,Mama.We’lltalklater,okay?”Igaveheratokenkisson
the cheek, then rushed to the door. Will, like I knew he’d be, was walking up the stairs. Will was so
punctualthatitwasanongoingjokethathiswatchsetitstimebyhim.

WetraveledacrosstowntoanareathatI’dneverbeento,unlessyoucountedthedrivetoandfrom

Grams’shouseeachsummer.Everypartofmysummerlifewasbytheoceancoastline.Gramswasjusta
coupleblocksfromit,andtheYachtClubwasoceanfront.Eventhissummer,thebakerywasoceanside,
andWillandJillian'sapartmentwasjustashortdriveawayfromit.

So,IhadnoideawhattoexpectwhenIwastoldthatourdatewastobecanoeinginthemarshes.

I’dneverbeencanoeing.I’dneverspenttimeinthemarshes.Ihadthissuspicionthatitwasgoingto

be very muddy and that perhaps we’d come across a dead body, because that’s where you dump dead
bodies,right?

Anyway,Istayedclosetothecar,observingthelocalfauna,whileWillwentuptothelittleboathouse

shop-thingyandrentedourcanoe.

WhydidIpeeinthewoodsthatfirstnightandgivehimtheimpressionthatIcoulddooutdoorsystuff

withoutlookinglikeacompletefool?

WhenWillcamebacktothecar,hereachedinandgrabbedastyrofoamcooler.
“Didyoupackalunch?”Iasked.Thatboywasallkindsofadorable.
“Yeah,Ifiguredwemightgethungry.”
Ireachedupandkissedhischeek.“You’reamazing.So,aboutthiscanoeingbusiness…”Itrailedoff.

Wewerewalkingovertotheboatrentalplacewheretheywerepullingoutaredcanoeforusandputting
itinthewater.

Will looked at me, took in the expression on my face, and chuckled. “You’ll be fine. It’s fun, you’ll

see.”

“Ibelieveyou.ButwhatifItotallystinkatitandwetipoverand…”Itrailedoffagain,imagesof

alligatorsandsnakesfloatingthroughmymind.

“Then we get a little wet, no harm done.” He looked up to the sky at the cloud coverage in the

distance.“Ihopeitdoesn’train.”

“Well,ifitdoes,thenwejustgetalittlewet.Noharmdone,”Isaid,resistingtheurgetogigglewhen

Willnarrowedhiseyesatme.

IkeptmythoughtsofimminentdangertomyselfbecauseIknewIwasbeingridiculous,andridiculous

wasnotsomethingthatIwantedWilltothinkofmeas.

Before we got in the boat we had to put on bright orange life jackets. I was glad I hadn’t spent too

muchtimeonmyoutfitfortheday,sinceitwouldn’thavematteredanyway.

Will was right, canoeing was fun. My arms started hurting about five minutes in, and I knew I’d be

sorethenextmorning,butitwasworthit.Themarshesweren’tanythinglikeIthoughtthey’dbe.OnceI
got the rhythm of paddling down, I started looking around. There was tons of light and about a million
differentplantsandwhatnottolookat.WillandIdidn’teventalkatfirst,otherthanhiscallingoutwhich
way to go every once in awhile. With no sounds except those of birds and bugs, the South’s anthem, I
foundthesilencetobepeaceful.Mymindwasatrest,anditfeltlikeweweretheonlytwopeopleinthe
world.

Willwasintheback,andIswearIcouldfeelhiseyesonme.Icouldalwaysfeelhiseyesonmewhen

weweretogether,andIstillhadn’tgottenusedtohowpowerfulhisgazemademefeel.Ifthiswaswhat
happinessfeltlike,Iwasn’tsureI’deverbeentrulyhappybefore.Thatthoughthitmelikeatonofbricks.
Lately, I’d been blaming my own unhappiness on Daddy dying, and of course that had something to do
with it. But part of me felt like the admission was a betrayal of sorts. I don’t think I was ever happy
before he died because I was always too worried about what other people were thinking, too worried
about what I was going to do and how I was going to do it to maintain a superficial lifestyle with
superficialfriends.Daddypassingawaytaughtmewhatreallymattered,andIwasn’tsureI’dbecapable
ofthistypeofhappinessifhewerestillalive.

Wecameuptoalittlecovewherethegrasseswereencroachingthewatermorethanbefore,andWill

letmeknowthatweweretakingabreak.Iturnedaroundinmylittlebenchseat,gladfortheinterruption
—andthebreak.Myarmsfeltlikejello,andmystomachgaveanaudiblegrumble.

“Areyouhungry,Allie?”
“Starving!What’dyoupack?”Ileanedforwardtopeekintothecoolerwhenheopenedittopullout

food.

Hehandedmeabottleofwaterfirst,andwhileIwasbusygulpingitdown,hepulledoutacoupleof

sandwiches.

“Peanutbutterandjelly.”
“Strawberryjelly?”Iasked.
“Ofcourse.”Hewinked,becauseheknewthatstrawberrywasmyfavorite.“Imadesomethingspecial

fordessert.”

“Hmmm?”wasallIsaidinresponse,sincemymouthwasfull.
“Yup. But you have to eat that whole sandwich before you can have any.” He used a very lecturing

tone,soIrolledmyeyesandstuckmypeanutbuttercoveredtongueoutathim.

Wetookthenextcoupleofminutestofinishourlunches.Iactuallyfinishedfirst,butthatwasbecause

WillhadtwiceasmanysandwichesasIdid.Insteadofwatchinghimeatlikeatotalcreeper,Ilookedinto
thewaterandstartedtossingpinchesofmyleftovercrustintothewater,hopingthatI’dgetaglimpseofa
fish.Itworked,andafteraminuteIsawafewcomeupandkissthesurfaceofthewater,suckingdownthe
crumbs. When they were done and I was out of leftovers, I turned back to Will to check on his lunch
progress.

Hewaspullingoutabagfullofchocolatefromthecooler.
“Whatisthat?”Iasked.Chocolatealwaysgrabbedmyattention.
“Truffles.Theyaren’tverypretty—it’smyfirsttimemakingthem—buttheystilltastegood.”
He was right, they weren’t very pretty. I didn’t tell him that though, and with a certain amount of

trepidation,Igrabbedoneandtookabite.

Itwasamazing.Thebitter-sweetdarkchocolatewasenhancedwithsomethingalittlecitrusy,maybe

orange.

“OhmygoshWill,thesearedelicious!”
“Itoldyouthat,youdidn’tbelieveme?”
“Well,theyarereallyugly.”Ismiledsweetly.
Hemovedforwardwherehewaskneelingrightinfrontofme,andtickledmeonthesidejustlong

enoughformetohorse-laughonegoodtime.“Sorrytheydon’tmeetyourartisticexpectations,Princess.”

Ipouted.“I’mnotaprincess.”
“Youare.”Heleanedincloser.“Butthat’sokay,Ihaveasoftspotforprincesses.”
“Isthatso?”Ileanedintohim,too.Wewereabouttokiss,andIcouldn’twait.
“Definitely.Ihopeyouknowhowamazingyouare.”Hisforeheadwastouchingmine.“Andhowgreat

thissummerhasbeen.AnnaLynne,Idon’twantittoend.Idon’tknowwhatcomesnext,butIdoknow
thatIlo—”

Atthatexactmoment,theheavensthemselvesopenedup…andpouredbucketsofrainonourheads.

Millisecondsafterwefeltthefirstraindrop,wesawlightningstretchacrossthesky.

Will pulled away, and when we immediately heard thunder boom around us, we paddled our little

tushiesoff.Wewouldhavesettledforthefirstbitofcompletelydrylandthatwesaw,buttherewasn’t
anyuntilwehitthedockwherewerentedthecanoe.Itookoffmylifejacketassoonaswewerestopped,
thengrabbedthecoolerandranforthecarwhileWillpulledthecanoeoutofthewater.Hewasinthecar
with me only a couple of seconds later, and when he shut the door, we looked at each other and
immediatelyburstoutlaughing.

“Waytoleavemebehindagain,"Willsaid.Ijuststartedlaughingharder,whichsethimoffagain.
Finallyourlaughterdieddown.
“Doyouneedtogobacktotherentalplace?”Iasked,lookingoutthewindowattherainthatdidn’t

looklikeitwasgoingtogiveup.

“No,justsupposedtoleavetheboatatthedock.”Heputthekeyintheignitionbutdidn’tturnthecar

on.“Ididn’tplanonourdayendinglikethis.”

“Itwasstillfun,Will.Besides,ourdateisn’toveruntilyouhavetoleaveforwork.Right?”
He smiled. “Right.” Then he turned the key and we pulled out of the parking lot and headed in the

directionofhisplace.

Before I put on my seatbelt, I reached into the backseat to find the bag of truffles that had been

haphazardly shoved into the cooler when the rain came down. Amazingly, they were even uglier than
before,withalittlediscolorationfromthewaterandbeingabitextrasmooshed,butItookabiteintoone
thenreachedoverandpoppedtherestofitintoWill’smouth.Ialsogavealingeringkissonhischeek.He
lookedoveratme,chewinghischocolate,andsuddenlytherewasheatintheair.Ileanedbackintomy
ownseatandputmyseatbelton.Whenhishandcreptovertomysideofthecar,Ididn’thesitatetotakeit
in my own hand. We didn’t say anything else on the drive back to his place, and my whole world was
focusedonthefeelofhishandinmine,onthewarmthofitrestingonmythigh,andonthelookinhiseyes
afterIkissedhischeek.Somethinghadshifted.Somethingmomentous.

Helookedatmelikehelovedme.Iwasn’tshockedbytheidea,orindenialaboutit.Iknewhedid,

thesamewaythatIknewthatIlovedhim,too.Itdidn’tmatterthatIwastooyoung,orthatwehadn’tbeen
together very long. The way I felt about him was more than the type of infatuation I’d felt for my past
boyfriends.Itwentdeeperthanthat,burnedbrighter.Whenwepulledintotheparkinglotofhisapartment
complex,thewordsweresoclosetomylipstheyalmosttumbledoutrightthen.

Itwasstillraining,andweremainedinthecarsittingsilentlyinthetensionofourownfeelingsfor

eachother.Finally,therainseemedtoslackandwebothgotoutatthesametimeandranforthestairwell
andshelter.Ourhandsfoundeachotheragain,andwemadeitupthestairs,stillstrangelyquiet.

Oncewegottothefrontdoor,Willstartedtounlockthedoorbeforestopping.“AnnaLynne,”hesaid,

backtowardsme.

Istoodbehindhim,wonderingwhyweweren’tgoinginside,andwhytheheckhewasusingmyfull

name.“Yes?”

Slowlyheturned,keysstillinonehand,andleanedovertokissme.Itwasgentle,fullofmeaning,and

whenhepulledawaymeresecondslater,itwasonlyfarenoughforhimtospeak.“Allie,I…Iloveyou.”

Myfacesplitintosuchabiggrinitwasalreadyhurting,andIlaunchedmyselfathim,wrappingmy

armsaroundhimandstandingontiptoetoburymycheshiregrinintohisneck.“Iloveyou,too,”Isaid
intothesoftskinabovehispulse.Hisarmstightenedaroundme,andIfelthisfacebreakintoasmile.I
lookedathimthen,andkissedhimwiththesamegentletouchthathe’dusedwithme.Sayingthewords
outloudreleasedsomethinginme,butitalsocreatedasortoftensionI’donlyhadglimpsesofbefore.
Onesweetkisswasn’tenough,andIstoodontiptoetogetonethatIhopedwouldsatethehungerthatwas
nowcoursingthroughme.Willmetmehalfway,withthesameheat,samehunger.Myhandsreachedunder
hisshirttograbthesmoothskinthatlaybeneath,butitwasn’tenough.Notnearlyenough.Iwanted. He
lovedmeandIlovedhim,anditwasallrealandtrueandmorethanjusthormones,butmanitmadethose
hormoneswakeupandwant—no,need—more.

“Is that all you two do when I’m not around? C’mon Will, get off of her already, it’s Girl’s Night!”

Jill,withahorriblesenseoftiming,saidfromthenowopendoorwaybeforegrabbingmebythehandand
pullingmeinside.

Now

“We’refinallygettingtothegoodstuff,”Laylasays.“IbetyoucouldhaveskinnedJillianaliveright

then.”

“No.Iwastooshockedtobemad.Asisterisbetterthanabucketoficewater.”
Laylalaughs.“I’llkeepthatinmind,dearsister.”
“I’d rather you not,” I say dryly into my glass. “Well, I guess it doesn’t exactly matter since I’m as

singleasadollarbill.”

Shesmirks.“I’msurethatwillchangesoon.”
“Hah.I’mbasicallyamonkatthispoint,notthatI’vehadtimetonoticeconsideringhowbusyI’ve

been.”

“Butthat’sallgoingtochangenowthatyou’refinallysettingdownroots,”Laylasayswithassurance.

AsifagoodromanceisallI’mmissingtohaveacompletelife;asifshehasplanstorectifymywoeful
relationshipstatus.

“I’mfinebeingsingle,Layla.Don’tgetanyideas.”Itwouldhavebeentrue,too,ifI’dsaiditbeforeI

startedtellingthisstory.Iwasperfectlycontent—morethancontent,even.Tellingthisstoryremindsme
ofexactlyhowgooditfelttobelovedlikethat,andevenbetter—tolovesomeoneelsethatway.Apang
ofyearninglurchesthroughmycenter.Iwant…Well,whatIdon’thave.I’vedatedandhadrelationships.
Nothing has quite filled me the way that loving Will had filled me though, and chasing that particular
whitewhalewasalotmoredraininganddetrimentaltomysanitythanchasingWillhadbeenthatfirstday
attheClub.Igaveupfindingthatfeelingacoupleofyearsago,andhavebeendamnnearcelibatesince.
MaybenowthatI’m“settingdownroots”asLaylasays,I’llletmyselfbeopentothepossibilityagain.

“Asifaladyofmybreedingwoulddosomethingsosillyastogetanidea.”ShethickensuptheSouth

inhervoiceandfluttershereyelashes.Webothlaugh,andifmylaughtersoundsabithollowtomyears,
atleastLayladoesn’tnotice.

“Thatwassweet,though.Washethefirstboywhosaidhelovedyou?”Laylaasksoncethelaughter

subsides.

Inodmyhead.“Thefirstonewhomeantit,andthefirstoneIcaredenoughabouttosayitback.”I

don’t tell her the pitiful truth that I hadn’t said it to anyone since then. My last boyfriend, the one who
made me swear off dating for a while, claims I have commitment issues. I don’t have an issue with
commitment,though.MyproblemiswithcommittingtoapersonI’mnotfullyinlovewith.

Myrealissueiswithfindingsomeoneworthloving.Someoneworthriskingthepainifthingsgoawry.

I’vefeltheartbreakbeforeandIhaven’tmetanyoneelseworththatmisery.

Layla’sphonedings.“Thecatererishere.”
“Good,I’mstarving.Andtobehonest,IshouldprobablyswitchtowateruntilIputsomeofthatfood

inmybelly.”Idonotintendonhavingahangovertomorrow,or—justaslikely—tonightwhenit’stimeto
gotobed.Istanduptomakemywayinside.

“Sityourbuttdown,MissThang.I’llgolettheminandbringyouthatwater.Idon’twantyoutoget

distractedfromthisrivetingstorythatyou’retellingmerightnow.I’mundertheimpressionthattheyhave
abitmorecookingtodobeforewe’rereadytosamplethewares.Freshlycookedfoodandallthat.”

Then

Thesuddenchangewasenoughtoshockmysystemandbreakthroughthatdesperateacheformore.

Jillian,completelyignorantofthemagnitudeofthemomentsheinterrupted,draggedmethroughthedoor
whereIwasassaultedbythesmellofnailpolishandpopcorn.JeanandCaroline,twoofJillian'sfriends
thatI’dhungoutwithseveraltimesatthebeach,weresittingonthefloorpaintingtheirtoenailsarainbow
ofcolors.Magazineslitteredthefloor.HeathLedgersangfromthebleachersontheT.V.

Jillwasn’tlyingwhenshesaidwewerehavingagirlsnight.
IwentstraighttothekitchentogetmyselfsomewaterwhileJillstayedinthelivingroom.Ineededa

minutetomyself.Myworldwasspinning.Everythingwaschanging:myhead,myheart,mylife.

I hoped it would never stop spinning. I pressed my back against the wall in the kitchen, leaned my

headbackandjustsmiled,relivingthemomentthatWillandIhadjustshared.Helovesme.Ichanteditin
myhead,overandover.Asparkofthatsameheattwistedinsidemycenter,andIopenedmyeyes.Wehad
neverdiscussedourfuturetogetherandwe’dneverdiscussedtakingourrelationshipfurther.

Well,welovedeachother.Itwastimetohavethatconversation.
I bumped into him when I left the kitchen. I went in for a quick hug, unable to resist even a few

secondsofbeingwrappedupbyhim.

Evenafewsecondsweretoomanywhenyouaresupposedtobeanactiveparticipantinasleepover.
“Awwww,”achorusoffemalevoicescriedout.Wehadanaudience.
“Iswear,Ican’tleavethemaloneforasecondwithoutthempouncingoneachother,”Jilltoldthegirls

whileWillandIpulledawayfromeachother.Aftergivingmeatenderlook,hewenttohisroomtoget
readyforworkandIwentbacktothelivingroomtoprettyupmyfeet.

“Youtwoseemtobedoingwell,”Carolinesaid,wagginghereyebrowsatmeandhandingoverthe

nailpolishremover.

Ismiledinresponseandstartedrubbingadowsedcottonballinquickcirclesonthenailofmybigtoe

toremovetheremainingpolishfromthelasttimeI’ddonemynails.ThepaintfromthepedicureMama
andIhadgottenmorethanamonthpreviouslywaslongsincegone,butImadesuretotouchupmytoesat
leastonceaweek.

Itwassandalseason,afterall.
Ichosebubble-gumpink,andstartedinonmyfirstcoat.
“I’llneverunderstandwhywepaintourtoenails.Itjustdrawsattentiontoourfeet,andfeetare,by

definition,gross,”Jilliansaid,holdingherlegupandwigglingherfreshlylacqueredtoes.

Willwalkedin,buttoninguphisblackwork-shirt.“Wellyeah,yourfeetaregross.Butsomegirls,”he

winkedatme,“haveverysexyfeet.”

“Youdidn’ttellusthatWillhadafootfetish,AnnaLynne,”Carolinesaid.
“Idon’tkissandtell.”Ikeptacomicallyhaughtylookonmyface.
“Good.Learningaboutmybrothersperversionswouldgrossmeoutmorethanfeetdo.”Jillianmadea

gaggingnoisetoproveherpoint.

“Oh,IhaveallkindsofperversionswhenitcomestoAllie.”Wealllaughed,butWill,toprovehis

point,squatteddown,pickedmeuplikeIweighednothing,andkissedmerightinfrontofthegirls.He
heldthepositionuntilouraudiencestartedthrowingpopcornathim.I,miraculously,didn’tspilladrop
fromthenailpolishbottleinonehand,andthelittlebrushintheother.

Ididmakequiteamessofoneofmytoesthough.“Youmadememessup!”Itoldhimwhenhegently

putmebackdowninmypreviousspot.

“Ihavenoregrets,”hetoldme.“Ihavetogo.Ladies,trynottodestroyourplace.AndJillian?Put

somesockson,yourfeetaredisgusting.”

HewasoutthedoorbeforethepillowthatJillianthrewathimcouldhititstarget.

“I don’t know what you see in that stupid brother of mine, Anna Lynne. He’s a neanderthal,” Jillian

said,examiningherfeet.“Theyaren’tthatugly,arethey?”sheaskedafteracoupleofseconds.

Wealllaughed.“No,hejustsaidthattobugyou.”
“Hewasinanunusuallygoodmoodthough,wasn’the?Ididn’tevenknowheknewhowtosmile,and

he’sbeennothingbutcheerfulexpressionslately,”Carolinesaid,screwingonthetopofherpolish.

“BeinginlovecertainlyagreeswithourbroodylittleWill,doesn’tit?”Jean,whowastypicallyvery

quiet,said.

“Maybeit’sjustgettinglaidthatagreeswithhim,”Carolinesaid,giggling.
“Oh,we—”Istartedtoexplainthatwehadn’tgonethere,butwasinterruptedbeforeIcould.
Carolineleanedforward.“Tellme,isheasgood—”
“Wearesonothavingthisconversation.Like,seriously.Nope.Nottonight,notever.Iwilldie.” Jill

coveredherearsdramaticallyandlookedatuswitheyeswideinterror.

Wealllaughedagainand,thankfully,thetopicdidn’tcomebackup.EvenifIhadbeencomfortable

sharingtheintimate,orlackof,detailsofourrelationship,Iwasn’tsureWillwouldappreciatethat.Just
likeIdon’tthinkIwouldhaveappreciatedhissharingthesamedetailswithanyofhisfriends.

Afterourtoesweredone,wedidourfingers.Thenoureyebrows.Afterthatwecoveredourfaceina

mint-greenmaskbefore,withwhiteningstripsonourteeth,wesettledinforanothermovie.

We flipped through magazines, circling the things we wanted and taking turns answering all the

quizzes.

“Whowantscookies?”JillaskedafterwediscoveredthatJeanwasaTimidFlirt,andCarolinewasa

HopelessFlirt,asifwedidn’talreadyknow.

“Isthatevenarealquestion?”Iaskedher.Whodoesn’twantcookies?“Areyoumakingthechocolate

chipagain?”

“Yeah.Imadethedoughearlier.Iaddedwalnutsandorangeextractthistime,”Jillsaidwhilestanding

upfromthecouchandmakingherwaytothekitchen.

Shelovedbaking,andwasjustasgoodatitasWillwasatcooking.Thatsummersheprobablyhad

madeatleastadozenbatchesofchocolatechipcookies,tryingtofindthe“perfectrecipe”asshesaid.

To be honest, I couldn’t tell the difference between most of them, but she and Will would huddle

together and discuss oven rack placement and room-temperature versus cold cookie dough with such
seriousnessyou’dthinktheyweretryingtoturnironintogold.

I wasn’t about to complain, though. It meant a constant supply of delicious cookies. I would never

complainaboutsomethingthatputchocolateinmymouth.

Igotuptofollowherbutwasstoppedattheentrywaytothekitchenbyasmallmelonballerbeing

heldatmelikeaweapon.

“AnnaLynne,goaway.”
“C’monJillian,”Iwheedled.
“Noway!YoueathalfthecookiedoughbeforeIcangetitintotheoven.”Shewavedthescoopatme

whileIeyedthebowlofdoughbehindher.

“DidIhearsomeonesay‘cookiedough’?”Jeansaidfrombehindme.
Welookedateachotherandsmiled.
“Isaidno!”
“There’stwoofusandonlyoneofyou,”IremindedherwhileJeanandItookasmallstepforward.
“Makethatthreeofus.”Carolinejoinedourmutiny.
“Youguyssuck.Here.”Jillwalkedfurtherintothekitchen,pulledthreespoonsfromadrawer,dipped

theminthebowl,andgaveuseachadelicioussampleofwhatwastocome.Weveryhappilytookour
cookiedoughspoonsandwenttotheothersideofthekitchencountertowatchherportionthecookiesand
throwthemintheoven.

“Icanalreadytellyouthatthesearethebestyet,”ItoldJillaftercleaningmyspoonandleaningover

thecountertodropitinthesink.

“Mmhmm,”Carolineagreed.
“Yousaythateverysingletime,andyoucan’tjudgeacookiebyitsdough,”Jillsaidwhileclickingthe

oventimerovertothecorrecttimeandwalkingoutofthekitchen.

“You’re coming to the party tomorrow night, right?” Jean asked after we settled back down in the

livingroom.

“Definitely.We’llbethere,”Jilliansaid.
“What party? Isn’t Will closing tomorrow? I thought you were spending the night at my place

tomorrownight.”Thatwastheplan;thatwasthepromise.

“That’s still the plan. Will hasn’t let me do anything fun in months.” She gave me a pointed look,

correctlyassumingthatIhadblabbedonhersecret.“AndI’mnotmissingthechance.”

Knotsfilledmystomach.
Jillmusthaveseensomethingonmyface.“Relax,AnnaLynne.We’lljustmakeanappearance.You

don’thavetogoifyoudon’twantto.We’lltellyourparentswe’regoingtothemoviesorsomethingif
youdon’tthinkthey’dbeokaywithusgoing.”

Someofthetensionleftmybody.“Okay,I’llask.We’llprobablyhavetobebackbymidnight.”
“I figured. That’s fine. I just want to pop in for a minute, I’m not trying to party like it’s 1999 or

anything.”

Apop-inwouldbefine.Heck,Iwouldn’tevenhavetolietoMamaaboutwhereweweregoingifwe

weregoingtobebackbycurfew.Ihadn’tliedtoheraboutwhereIwasallsummer,notsinceWillhad
bailedmeoutthatnight,anditfeltgoodnottohavetheweightofhidingsomethingonmyshoulders.

Therestofthenightwasspentgiggling,gossiping,andgenerallyjustgabbingabouteverything.When

midnight approached, Jean and Caroline headed off so they wouldn’t break curfew. I stepped out with
them,andaskedCarolineaquestion.Shesmiled,rummagedthroughherpurseandhandedmethesquare,
foilwrappeditemI’daskedforbeforetellingmetohavefunandleaving.Iputitinmypocketthenwent
insidetohelpJillcleanupbeforewewenttobed.Usuallywetalkedabitbeforefallingasleep,butfor
somereasonIjustlaidthere.JillmusthavesensedIwasn’treallyinthemoodtotalk,anddidn’ttryto
startupconversation.

Or,shewasjustreallytired,sinceonlyafewminuteswentbybeforeIheardherbreatheveningout.I

listenedtotherhythmofherbreathingforwhatseemedlikeforever.Finally,IheardthesoundI’dbarely
acknowledgedIwaswaitingfor.

The front door opened, signalling Will was finally home from work. I listened to him rustle in the

kitchenforafewminutes,thenheardhisstepsleadtohisbedroom,thentothebathroom.

ItriednottogetavisualwhenIheardtheshowerturnonafewsecondslaterandfailed.Insteadof

getting closer and closer to sleep, I was waking up—my mind made up. My heart was pounding, and
beforeIcouldoverthinkit,Iwasoutofbedandmakingmywaytothebathroom.

Thedoorwasunlocked,andalittlesqueaky.
“I’llbedoneinafew,”Willcalledout.
“Canwetalk?”Iaskedhimwhileclosingthedoorbehindmeandlockingit.
“Uh,ofcourse.JustgivemeacoupleofminutestocleanoffthekitchenandI’llberightout.”
ButIwasalreadyundressed,andbeforeIcouldlosemynerve,Ipulledbacktheshowercurtainand

stepped in. It was a conscious effort to hold my hands at my sides to keep from covering my nudity. I
couldn’tlookanywherebutathisface,Iwassoembarrassed.Willjuststoodthere,waterpouringdown
hisback,transfixed.Icouldhearthebloodrushinginmyears,Iwassonervousandhewasjuststanding
there, mouth apart and eyes trailing down and down until he seemed to realize we were both naked,
together.

He immediately turned around, so all I could see was a tan back and a bum that was much nicer

withoutclothescoveringit.“I…um…”hestuttered.

Iignoredtheshakinginmyhandsandreachedoverhimtograbthesoapandwashcloththatwasinthe

showercaddy.Atremorofthrillranthroughmybodywhenitbrieflypressedagainsthis.Ilatheredupthe
washclothandstartedwashinghisback.Thenhisneckandhisarms.Icouldn’tbringmyselftogodown
andwashhislegs.Heturnedaround,andwewerecloseenoughthatmostofmyvisionwastakenupby
his chest. Cheeks aflame, I washed his chest, taking a few minutes before I could look up and into his
face.Hetooktheclothfrommeandweswitchedspots,silently.Hewashedmybackfirst,thenmylegs,
makingmybreathshallowwhenhewashedthesensitiveskinofmyinnerthigh.WhenIturnedaroundI
couldn’tkeepmyselffromreachingupandtouchinghisface,hischeek,whenhewashedmyfront.Itwas
almosttoogentletogetanycleaningdone;timid,likehewasn’tsurehewasallowedtowashmybreasts.

Ileanedforwardandkissedthehollowofhisneck,pressingmybodyagainsthisintheprocess.He

wrapped his arms around me and, emboldened by the reaction I felt from him, I reached up and kissed
him.

Whenthewaterstartedgettingcoldafewsecondslater,weturnedofftheshower.Willwrappedmein

atowelafterwrappingonearoundhiswaist,andIledhimbythehandtohisroom.

We dried each other off and got into bed. Then, with tender fascination, our bare hands echoed the

pathsthewashclothandtowelhadtaken.WestoppedonlyforWilltogograbthecondomIhadforgotten
inthebathroom,andafterweweredonewelaidthereinatangleoflimbs,melisteningtohisheartbeat
andhimrunninghisfingersthroughmyalmost-dryhair.

“Youaresobeautiful,”hetoldme,movinghishandtotraildownmyside.
“Ibetyousaythattoallthenakedgirlsinyourbed.”Iwasonlyteasing.Ididn’tcareaboutwhocame

before,IknewIwastheonlygirlonhismind,inhisheart,orinhisbed.

“Ormaybeyou’retheonlynakedgirltobeinmybed.”Hepausedforasecond.“Thatwasmyfirst

time,”Willsaidquietlyafterwhatseemedlikeaneternitywrappedinamillisecond.

Ismiled,gladthathesharedthiswithme.Notjusttheknowledge,butthemomentaswell.“Minetoo,”

Itoldhim.Ifelthimstiffenslightly.

“Areyouokay?DidIhurtyou?”heasked.
MyheartswelledthatheworriedaboutthatdespitetheevidenceI’dgivenhimotherwise.“No.Iwas

ready.”Theshowerhadtakencareofthepreparations,andbesidesaslightstretchingfeelingatfirst,there
hadbeennopain.Ireallyhadbeenready.

He relaxed again, and we moved naturally together so that we were spooning, the heat of his chest

warmingmysoul.Therewasnodoubt,noregret,justanenhancedfeelingofrightness,andIfeltmyeyes
starttogetheavy.Sleepwasclose.

“Iloveyou,Allie,”hesaidintomyhair.IfelttherumbleofhisvoiceandIsnuggleddeeperintohim.
“Iloveyoutoo,Will,”Isaid,withasmileonmyface.
ThisisperfectwasthelastthoughtIhadbeforesleepclaimedme.

Now

“Cheeseandrice,youwereaboldlittlelady,weren’tyou?Justhoppedonintothatshowerwithhim,

nakedasajaybird.”

I smile, thinking back on it. “I suppose you’re right. I was so nervous though, I was afraid I’d back

down.”

“Justripthebandaidoff.”Laylaleansback,noddingherhead.
“No,nothinglikethat.Rippingabandaidoffhurts.”Ithinkaboutitforasecond.“Itwasmorelike

eatingyouricecreamfirstbecauseit’syourfavoriteandyouthinkitmightmeltifyouwait.”

Laylachecksherphoneagainbeforelookingatme.“Youwereafraidyou’dmissyourchance?”
I nod. “Summer was almost over. I didn’t know what that would mean for us, because we’d never

talkedaboutit.Ilovedhim,andeventhoughIwasyoungIknewitwasreal—andthatwhathefeltforme
wasjustasreal.”Ipause,tryingtocallforththerightwords.“Iknowalotofpeoplewhoregrettheirfirst
time.Regrettheperson,orthetiming.Mine?Well,it’samemoryIcherish.Wedidn’tplanit.Imean,Idid
toanextent,butnotmorethanacoupleofhoursbeforehand.Butitwasn’tplannedthewaythatmaybeit
shouldhavebeen.Wewereinlove,and—nearlyasimportant—werespectedeachother.”

“Evenifyouknewthenwhatyouknownow,youstillwouldn’tchangeit?”
Ilaugh.“Ifanything,I’dhavemadeithappensooner.”
Laylalaughs,too.“Really?”
“Iwasn’tstupid,Layla.Iknew,eventhen,thatwemightnotbetogetherforever.Ididn’tknowthings

wouldexplodesosoon,butIknewthatifhewasn’tmyfirst,thenIwouldregretitfortherestofmylife.
AndIwouldhave.IregrettedmysecondeventhoughitwastwoyearsbeforeIletsomeonegetthatclose
tomeagain.ItwasspecialwithWill,andI’mgladIcouldsharesuchaspecialthingwithhim.”

“Howwiseofyou.”
“I was a far cry from wise. I was just a hormonal teenager head-over-heels for a boy. That’s not

wisdom,it’sbiology.”Igiveherawrysmile,thoughIknowthatitwasmorespecialthansimplebiology.

“Maybe.Soundslikesoulmatestufftome,though.”
Isnortalaughandgetawaftofsomethingcookingfrominside.
“Canwenotfinishthisduringdinner,Layla?I’msohungry,I’msurethey’realmostfinishedbynow.”
“AnnaLynne,Idon’tcareifthepresidenthimselfisinthatnextroom,sittingatourtable,waitingto

eat.Youarenotmovingfromthatspotuntilyougettotheend.So,youmadelove.Whathappenednext?”

ThewarmthfromrememberingmyfirsttimewithWillleavesmeasIrememberwhatcamenext.

Then

We both seemed to wake up at the same time the next morning, probably due to the light that was

streamingintotheroom.Will’sarmssqueezedaroundme;wewerestillsnuggledtightly,stillspooning.
Hishandtraileddownmybody,formingtothecurvesthatwereondisplayfromlayingonmyside.Things
seemedtolineupwellinthatposition,andIcouldn’tkeepmyhipsfrommovingslightly,archingbackto
press against him completely and relishing the heat that washed through my body despite my slight
sorenessfromthepreviousnight.

Hekissedmyneck,andIreachedahandaroundkeepinghismouthattachedtothatverysensitiveskin.

Iwantedarepeatofthenightbefore,andmadealittlenoisehopinghewouldcatchthehintwithoutmy
breakingthemorningspellbyspeakingoutloud.

Hecaughton,andwithonlythesmallestamountoffumbling,ourbodiesonceagainmelded.Unlike

thenightbefore,wedidn’ttakeourtime,andwhenweweredone,Willlovinglycleanedupthemessour
lovemakingmadewhileIwatched,contentandenergizedbythisnewaspectofourrelationship.

Weheardtheshowerturnoninthebathroom,andIwonderedwhatJillianthoughtofwakingupwith

meinherbrother’sroominsteadofhers.

I stood up, trying not to feel self conscious in my nudity and looked around for my towel from the

previousnightbeforerealizingthatWillhadputthembothbackinthebathroom.“CanIborrowat-shirt?”
Iasked.Ididn’twanttorunacrosstothehalltoJill’sroom,andmythings,buttnaked.

“Ilikeyoubetterlikethis.”Hesmiledwickedly.
“I bet you do. But she’s going to be out of the shower soon, and we need to get ready for work.” I

pointedtotheclockonhissidetablethat,asifbymycue,startedgoingoff.Hisalarmclearlyagreedwith
me.

“Fine.” He walked over to his dresser and pulled open a drawer, then carried a neatly folded shirt

overtome.Itriedtopullitoutofhishands,butonlymanagedtopullmyselfclosertohim.

Hehadnoissuesbeingnakedaroundme.Andfoldedintoahugwithmyskinpressedagainsthim,I

decidedIratherlikedbeingnakedaroundhim,too.Iheardtheshowerturnoff,andIsquealed,yanking
theshirtfromhishandandthrowingitovermyhead.Iranacrossthehall,barelyshuttingthedoorbefore
IheardJillianleavethebathroomandheadtoherroomwhereIwas.I,thankfully,hadalreadypulledmy
pantiesupandwasjustsnappingonmybrawhensheentered.

“Lookwhodecidedtoslumitwithmybrotherlastnight.How’dyousleep,dearfriend?”
Myfacewasaflame.“Doyoureallywanttoknow?”Iaskedher.
“Ew,noway.”
IturnedmybacktogivehertheprivacytochangewhileIfinishedputtingonmyclothes.“You’renot

madareyou?”Iasked.Idon’tknowwhyIwasworriedaboutit,butIwas.

“No,ofcoursenot.Youtwoarereallygoodtogether,andIknowhe’snotjustanothernotchinyour

bedpost.”

Iburstoutlaughing.
“Oh,shutup.YouknowwhatImean.”
I was still giggling, but I did know what she meant. Jillian and Will were protective of each other,

alwayshadbeen.IfJilldidn’tapproveofmydatingherbrother,shewouldn’thavekepthermouthshut
aboutit.

Shewasveryvocalwhenshewantedtobe.
Werodetoworktogetherinaveryawkwardsilence.Jillwashumminginthebackseat,andWillandI

weresoawareofherpresencewecouldn’tlookateachotherwithoutembarrassedsmiles.

Saturday morning always brought a crowd to the bakery, and the breakfast rush was very welcome

since it kept me too busy to overthink my life. Jill and I got off around the same time, and Grams was

alreadywaitingtopickusupwhenwefinishedourside-work.Iwentintothekitchen,whereWillwas
cleaningupfromthebreakfastrushinpreparationforlunch—hewasworkingadouble—soIcouldsay
goodbye.

“Gramsisalreadywaitingoutfront.Ijustwantedtosaybye,”Itoldhim.Willpulledoffhisgloves

andwalkedclosertome.

“Okay.Um,whatareyouguysdoingtonight?”Hebrushedastrayhairbackbehindmyear.
“Idon’tknow.Jillmentionedstoppingbyaparty.”Icaughthislook.“Don’tworry,we’rejustmaking

an‘appearance.’Mamawillprobablywantusbacktooearlytogetintoanyrealtrouble.”

“Okay.Still,becareful.Callwhenyou’rebackhome.”
“Ithoughtyouwereworkingattheclubfordinnerafteryou’refinishedherethisafternoon,”Isaid.
“Iam.JustleaveamessagesoIdon’tworry.”Hisbrowswerealreadycreasedinaveryparentaltype

oflook.

“It’llbefine,Will.We’rebiggirls.Andhowaboutyoucallwhenyougetoff.”Iholdupmycelland

waveit.“Soweknowyoumadeithomesafely.”

He smiled. “Deal.” Then he leaned down and kissed me, ignoring the whoops from the other guys

workingbackofhouse.

Whenhepulledaway,Ikepthimclose.“Iloveyou,Will,”Isaidsoftlysothatnooneelsecouldhear.
Will’sfacebrokeintoasmile.“Ilovehearingyousaythat.”
Ipouted.
“AndIloveyoutoo,AnnaLynne.”Hedidn’tbotherkeepinghisvoicelow,andwewereonceagain

assaultedbythejeersandcheersofourcoworkers.

ImetJillianandGramsatthecar,andclimbedintothebackseatsinceJillhadalreadycalledshotgun.
“Whatareyoutwoplanningtodotonight?”Gramsasked.
“There’sapartythatwekindofwanttogoto,ifMamasaysit’sokay,”Itoldher.Jillturnedaroundin

herseatandgavemeameanlook.

“Ilikehowhonestyouareaboutyourwhereabouts,AnnaLynne.Inmyday,wejusttoldourparents

weweregoingtothedrive-inmoviewhenwewantedtogotoaparty.I’mprettysureyourmotheruseda
similarline.”Gramssmiledintherearviewmirroratme.Iwasprettysureshewaspokingfunatme.Of
course,Gramswasalmostalwayspokingfunatsomeone.

When we got home, Jillian and I changed into our swimsuits and made our way to the back patio.

Mamawasalreadythere,layingout,andwepulledupacoupleofchairsnexttoher.JillianlikedMama,
andthefeelingwasmutual.YetanotherreasonwhyIlovedhavingJilloverwasthatMamatriedsohard
toseemcoolthatshedidn’ttalkabouttheweddingverymuchwhenshewasaround.Itwasallsuperficial
gossip,andImuchpreferredit.

“Mama,doyoumindifwegohangoutwithsomefriendstonightforalittlewhile?GramssaidIcould

borrowhercar,”Iaskedherwhilesquirtingagenerousamountofsunscreenfromagreasybrownbottle
ontomylegs.

“Idon’tseewhythatwouldbeaproblem.I’massumingtherewillbeadultsthere,”Mamasaid.
Uhoh.“Um,”wasallImanagedtosaywhileItriedtothinkofawaytotellthetruthandbeallowed

togoout.

Mamawassmart,though.“AnnaLynne,”sheprompted.
Before I could come up with the right way to say that we were going to an unsupervised party that

wouldlikelyhavealiberalamountofalcohol,Jillpipedin.

“I’mnotsure,ma’am.Weweren’tgoingtobeovertherelong,though.Ourmoviestartsat,what,9:15

AnnaLynne?Wejustwanttoridetogether.”Jilldidn’thavethesamehangupsaboutlyingthatherbrother
did.

“Oh.Isupposethat’sokay.9:15isalittlelate,though.Areyousurethereisn’tanearliershowing?”

Mamaasked.

“Theremightbe,butJeandoesn’tgetoffworkuntilabout8:30andwillneedtimetogetready.”Jill

wasamaster.

Ikeptmymouthshut,notsurewhatelsetodo.
“Hmm.Iguessit’sokayaslongasyoutwoarebackbycurfew.Evenifthatmeansleavingthemovie

early,understood?”Mamasaid,firmly.

“Yes ma’am,” Jill and I said at the same time. When Mama leaned back again and shut her eyes, I

lookedatJill.Shewinkedatme.

After we let ourselves bake in silence for a couple of hours, Jill and I went upstairs to start to get

ready. I almost didn’t want to take a shower, because I was covered in the scent of Will. I was also
coveredintanningoil,soshowerIdid,smilingatthememoriesofthepreviousnight.Oncewewereboth
clean,wetookturnssittingatthevanityinmyroomtoputonourmakeup.

“Youknow,ifyoutookdownsomeofthepicturesonthismirror,wecouldbothdoourmakeupatthe

sametime,”Jillsaid,referringtothecollectionthathadslowlyfounditswaytomymirrorthroughoutthe
summer.

“I like it. I don’t necessarily like the fact that there is a fifty percent chance that we’re going to get

busted tonight for lying to my mother,” I told her, keeping my voice low in case there was an
eavesdropperinthearea.Laylashould’vebeenbackfromherswimlessonsattheClubbynow.

“Ohhush.It’snotthatbigofadeal.She’snotgoingtofindout.It’snotlikewe’regoingtobedrinking

oranythinganyway.We’rejustpoppinginforafew.Andwe’lltotallybebackbycurfew.”Shelookedat
methroughthemirror,thenworkedonaheavylineofeyeliner.

“Youkeepsayingthat.”Ibuttedmyselfintothelimitedmirrorspaceandworkedtheblushbrushlikea

pro.

“Becauseit’strue.”
“WhatifGramsnarcsonus?Ialreadytoldherthatwewantedtogotoapartytonight.”
Shesighed.“Yeah,thatwasstupid.ButIdon’tthinkMissAnnawilltattle.Shebasicallygaveusthe

ideatosaymovieinthefirstplace.Don’tworry.”

It still didn’t sit right with me. I didn’t know what I was going to tell Will, and the fact that I was

almostmoreworriedabouthimbeingdisappointedintheliethanofbeingpunishedforitdidn’tsitvery
welleither.

“Easier said than done. Where are we going, anyway?” I smacked my lips together, rubbing in the

gloss.

“It’sthesameplaceasthatfirstoneyouwentto,atthebeginningofsummer.”
“Thefield?Whoownsthat?”Iknewwheremosteveryonewehungoutwithlivedbythispoint,but

Landonwastheonlyonewholivedinthatneighborhoodandhedefinitelydidn’townthatland.

“Oh,Ihavenoidea,”shetoldme.
IstoppedwhatIwasdoingtolookather.“So,whothrowsthepartiesthere?”
“I don’t know that either. Someone. It’s a field party, Anna Lynne. I don’t think we’re supposed to

know,”Jillanswered.

“Jackisn’tgoingtobethere,ishe?”Iaskedafterafewminutesrememberingthelasttimewewere

there.Ididn’tknowhowawfulhewasthen,didn’tknowanyoneoranything,really.

“I don’t think so. Caroline said he’s working tonight, but that’s another reason why we’ll definitely

make curfew: he usually gets off around midnight. We’ll be long gone by the time he shows up.” She
didn’t sound nearly as worried about the possibility of bumping into him as I did. “He’s harmless,
anyway.”

Ihadmydoubts,butkeptthemtomyself.Ifshewantedtotrivializetheabusethatheinflictedonher,

thenIguessthatwasherwayofcopingwithitandnotreallymyplacetosayanything.Sheknewhowbad

hewas.

Whenwegotthere,IparkednearthefrontlikeWillhadonourfirstdate.Atalmostnine,thepartywas

infullswing.Bonfireswerelit,andbythelooksofit,sowereseveralofthepeople.

Jillianmilledaround,draggingmebehindherwhilesheflittedfromgrouptogroup,makinggoodon

her word of “making an appearance.” She was a social butterfly, and there were about twice as many
peoplethanweretherethelasttime.ItwasanotherhourbeforeIlookedatmyphoneandsawamissed
callfromtheClub.

“HeyJillian,IneedtocallWillback.”Ialmosthadtoyelltomakemyselfheardoverthecrowd.
“Okay.Thebarnshouldbequieter,andIhavetoheadthatwayanyway.Naturecalls.”
Wemadeourwaytothebarn,butshewaswrongthatitwasquieterinside.
“Thislineisgoingtotakeforever.Gomakeyourcall,itlookslikeI’llbehereforawhile,”shetold

me.Ilookedaround,unsureifIreallywantedtoleaveheralone.

“Ugh,goonAnnaLynne.Despitewhatmybrotherthinks,Idon’tneedababysitter.”
“Okay,I’llberightoutsidethough.”Imademywaybackoutside,alreadydialingthenumber.Iknew

I’dgetthemachine,butfiguredWillwouldprobablycallandcheckithimselfwhenhehadthetime,andI
didn’twanthimtoworryabouthissister.

IheardJillian’svoiceontheansweringmachine,tellingmetoleaveamessageatthebeep.“HeyWill.

We’reattheparty.It’sprettycrowdedsoIdon’tknowifI’llbeabletohearthephoneringifyoucall
again.Um,I’llcallyouwhenwegetbackhome.Jillianisfine.Well,bye—”

“Anna Lynne, what are you doing here? I thought Will was working tonight.” Landon came and

interruptedtheendofmymessage.

“Heis.I’mherewithJill,”Itoldhimafterhegavemealittleone-armedhug.
Hisfacefell.“Ohcrap,Jill’shere?”Helookedaround.“Whereisshe?”
“She’sinthebathroom.Why?What’swrong?”
Hewasalreadywalkingbackinsidethebarn,forcingmetofollowhim.
“IsawJackafewminutesago.Iwasonmywayout,sinceIdon’tthinkIcanstandtobearoundthat

assholewithoutpunchinghimintheface.”

“Damn. Jill thought he was working tonight,” I told him while we searched the bathroom line for

Jillian'sdarkhair.

“No way. He was fired from the diner like, a week ago. I heard Caroline tell her a couple of days

ago,”Landontoldme.

Iwasconfused.“Whywouldshelieaboutthat?”
“DamnedifIknow.AnnaLynne,Idon’tseeher.”Hisvoicewasalittlehigherpitchedthannormal.
Aknotofanxietyformedinmygut.Ipushedmywaytothefrontoftherestroomlinetoachorusof

complaintsandknockedonthedooruntiltheoccupantcameout.

Itwasn’tJillian,though.
Landonwasalreadyaskingaroundifanyonehadseenher,butdrunkteenagersweren’treallythebest

witnesses.Oneguypointedtoadoorleadingtothesideofthebarn.

“She’sprobablyfine,right?”IaskedLandon.
“Yeah.We’redefinitelyoverreacting...butlet’skeeplookinganyway.”
Welooked.Weaskedeveryoneweknewifthey’dseenher.Afterabout30minutesofthat,westarted

askingeveryonewedidn’tknow,too.

Panicsetin.
“Dammit.Wherecouldshebe?Maybeshewenttothecar?Where’dyouguyspark?”Landonasked,

lookingthroughthecrowdtofindher.

“Nearthefront,bythewoods,”Itoldhim.
By unspoken agreement, we both started making our way to Grams car. I looked at the time on my

phone and winced, then offered a silent prayer that she was there. Maybe she was looking for me this
wholetimeandwasjustreadytoleave.OrshewashidingoutinthecartostayawayfromJack.

My car was empty though, and I saw Landon next to me run his hands through his hair, looking as

anxiousasIfelt.

ThatwaswhenIrememberedwherepeoplegotothebathroomwhenthelinemightbetoolongtowait

in.“Ohmygod,Landon.Whatifshe’sinthewoods?Shehadtopee,right?Maybeshedidn’twanttowait
inline.”

“Sheshouldbedonebynow,though.Weshouldhaveseenherbynow,AnnaLynne.”Worrywasthick

inhisvoice.

Itwasthickinmyheart,too.
Ididn’trespond,justmademywaytothetreeline,nearlyjogginginmyimpatiencetogetthere.Itwas

dark, so I pulled my phone out and flipped it open for the light. Landon had his keychain out, and was
usingalittletinyflashlighttolighthispath.

“Jillian!”hecalledout,andsoonwewerebothyellinghername,louderandlouderuntilwefinally

sawsomething.

Itwasashoe.OneofJillian’s.Welookedateachother,andincreasedourspeed,followingatrailof

Jillian’sthingstoanareasurroundedbybrush,likeasmallroom.

Anightmaregreetedus.ItwasJillian,butshewascurledupnexttoatree,notmoving.
“OhmyGod,JillyBean,”Landonsaid.
I was too shocked to say anything. We stood there in shock for about two seconds before we both

lurchedforward.Icouldhearherbreathing,araspyshallowthing,buthereyesremainedclosed.Onewas
clearlyswollenandunlikelytoopenevenifshewereconscious.

LandonpulledoffhisshirtanddrapeditoverJillianandtheremainingofhertornclothing.“Callthe

cops,AnnaLynne.”Thenhewenttohiskneesandstartedtalkingtoherinalowvoice.

Ididn’tneedtobetoldtwice,andtriedtoignoretheshakinginmyhandswhileIdialedthenumber

andgavetheoperatordirections.Iputheronspeakerandlistened,desperately,asshetoldmetocheck
Jillian’sbreathingandpulse,toseeifherpupilsrespondedtolight,andtonototherwisemoveheruntil
theparamedicsarrived.

Aneternitylater,wesawflashlightsmovetowardsus.Jillianstartedtocometowhentheparamedics

triedtoputheronthestretcher.Shemovedforthefirsttimesincewefoundher,shufflingbackawayfrom
everyone,fearevidentonherface.

“JillyBean,it’sokay.They’reheretohelpyou,”Landontoldher,butsheflinchedbackwhenhegot

close,curlinginonherself.Helookeddefeated.

“Miss,perhapsifyouwouldtalktoyourfriend.Afterthetypeoftraumashelikelyexperienced,it’s

morelikelythatshe’lllistentoanotherwoman,”oneoftheparamedicstoldmewithasoftvoice.

Iwipedawaythetearsthathadbeenfallingsilentlyfrommyfaceandwalkedclosertoher.“Jillian?

It’sokaynow,”Ilied.“Theyneedtobringyoutothehospital,okay?Todothat,theyneedtogetcloseto
youandseewhereyou’rehurt.”Islowlywalkedcloserandcloser,butrememberinghowsheflinchedat
LandonIdidn’treachout.Ijustsquatteddown,asclosetoherasIdaredget.Itriednottostareather
splitlip.Irefusedtolookanywherebutinhergoodeye.Ididn’twanttowonderwhatdamagewashiding
in the dark. Didn’t want to think too hard about why her shirt was torn, couldn’t acknowledge why her
shortsweregone.

Myonlyfocuswastogethertogetintheambulance.
Shelookedatme,andafterabarenodofherhead,theparamedicscameforward.Aftertheyloaded

heronthestretcher,theycoveredherwithablanket.Jilliansobbedwordlesslytheentiretime.

There was a crowd when we emerged from the woods, but I hardly noticed. I climbed into the

ambulancewithher,notcaringifIwasevenallowedtoornot.

Beforetheyshutthedoor,ItossedmyphoneouttoLandon.“GetWill,”Itoldhim,thenIsatinagrey

captainschair,feelingmyselfgonumb.Jillianmetmyeyesfromwhereshewaslaying.Theyputaneck
brace on her, a precaution they said. I kept eye contact with her the entire ride, letting her focus on me
whiletheyputanIVin,andaskedherquestionsthatshedidn’trespondto.Myfacewaswet,Iwascrying.
Itriedtostop,becauseIdidn’tthinkJillshouldseemecrying,butIcouldn’t.Theyputanotherblanketon
her,becauseshewasprobablyinshock,theysaid.

Iwalkedwithhertotheroomoncewearrivedatthehospital.IansweredallthequestionsIcould,

firstbythemedicalstaffmemberwiththeclipboard,thenbythepoliceofficerwhocametoquestionus,
allbyhersidesinceIrefusedtoallowhertoleavemysightagain.

Willarrivedrightwhentheybroughtinthex-raymachinetoseeifshehadanythingbrokenduringthe

attack.Herushedtohissister’sside,ignoringthequestionsbythestaff.Isteppedbacktogivehimspace.
Hedidn’tacknowledgeIwasthere.

“It’sherbrother,”Iexplainedtothehospitalstaff.“He’sherlegalguardian.”
Isawhisheartbreakwhenshepulledawayfromhimwhenhegotclose.Hegrabbedachairtositnext

toherbed,andstared.Afterafewminutes,thedoctorpulledhimasideandspoketohim.Ididn’thear
whatwassaid,butWillnoddedhisheadafewtimesbeforecomingback.Landonwasoutsidespeaking
to the same officer I had already talked to. I stood there, unable to make myself leave. Unable to do
anything.

Finally, another lady came in. A nurse to perform the rape-kit. Jill looked terrified, and I moved

forwardtohearwhatshewassaying.

“...Iwillstopatanytime.Thetestwillinvolvequestionsthatwillseemveryimpersonal.Iwillcomb

thehaironyourbody,andtakepictures.Therewillbeanexaminationofyourpelvicarea,wherewewill
takeswabs.Wewillalsoclipyournails.Wearelookingforevidence.Evidencethatwillhelpprosecute
who did this to you. Because you are a minor, the law states that we must prosecute if we are able to
determinewhodidthis.IwantyoutoknowthatIwillabsolutelypausethetestifyouask.Wecantakeit
slow.Butthemoreevidenceandinformationwecollect,thebetter,”shetoldWillandJillianwithasoft
voice.“Doyouunderstand?”

“Yes,”Jillsaid,thefirstwordshe’duttered.Hervoicewasraspy,andtherewasasilentstreamof

tearsrollingdownherface.

Iwonderedoffhandhowoftenthenursehadtogivethisspeech.Howmanygirlsshehadtoprepare

for this. The officer was finished with Landon and was now inside. The nurse looked around the room
again.

“This exam will take a while. Would you like to wait for your mother to be here?” she asked.

Apparentlyshedidn’tgetthememo.

“I’mherguardian,”Willtoldher.Thenursenoddedherhead.
“Okay.Ifit’sokaywithJillian,youmaystay.Jillian,wouldyoulikemetocontactanadvocatetobe

herewithyou?”

Sheshookherhead.
“Okay. We’ll begin as soon as the room is clear.” The nurse looked around, primarily at me and

Landon,waitingforustoleave.

“CanAnnaLynnestay?”Jillian'svoicewasbarelyawhisper,butIhearditandsteppedcloserstill.
Thenursenoddedherhead.“Whoeverwillmakeyoufeelthemostcomfortable.”
I walked forward, and when Jill reached out a hand I grabbed it. My fingers were numb before too

long,Jillwasclutchingitthroughmostofthetest.ShelookedatmelikeIwasalifelineforalotofit,and
I kept my eyes on hers. I hardly let myself blink. When it came time for the questions, about what
happened,Iwasprobablyclutchingherhandjustashard.Shestaredstraightattheceiling,goingbackand
forth between answering in a hollow monotone, and sobbing out responses. Will, I saw, had his own

hands fisted around the sides of his chair. His jaw was tense, and when we finally made eye contact
acrosshissister’sbed,IsawthingsI’dneverseeninhiseyesbefore.Notwhenhelookedatme.

Isawrage.Isawblame.
Isawhate.
Ilookedaway,unabletomeettheaccusationinhisgaze.Guiltateme.Itwasmyfault. I knew it. I

knewitwouldbeabadideatogototheparty.KnewIshouldn’thaveletheroutofmysight.Onceagain,
tearsstartedfallingfrommyeyes.Itriedtowipethemawayasquicklyastheycame,butitwasalosing
battle.

Now

“Icanonlyimaginehowawfulthatmusthavebeen,”Laylasays.Hereyeslookalittleshiny,I’msure

mineareaswell.

“Whatever you imagine, it was worse. So much worse.” I shake my head to remove the image of a

brokenJillianinthewoodsfrommyhead.

“WasitJack,then?”sheasks.
“Whoelse?”
“Youwerewrong,though.Itwasn’tyourfault.AndWillwaswrongtoo,ifhebelievedthat.”
“Iknowthatnow,Layla.”Atleast,Imostlyknowthat.Therapyhelped.“ButIwasjustakid,andI

can’tbemadatWillforwantingtoblameme,too.Hetrustedmetokeephersafe,andIcouldn’t.Jillwas
everythingtohim,youknow?AndIknowheblamedhimselfmorethanheblamedme.”Thethoughtused
tokeepmeupatnight,hopinghehadforgivenhimselffortheactionsofamonster,andthatmaybeoneday
hecouldforgiveme,too.

“Itstillwasn’tfairtoyou.Youcouldn’thavepredictedthat.”Layla’svoiceisfullofsympathy.
“Noonecouldhave.EveryoneunderestimatedhowevilJackwas.ThelawyerforJillian’scasedid

somedigging,andwasabletomatchJackwithtwomoreunsolvedcases.Therewasanotheronethatwas
suspected,butnotenoughevidencetochargehim.”

“Ohmygoodness.Ididn’tknowthat.”
“Yeah.Jillian’scasewastheworst,byfar.Addtothat,shewasaminor.Theothersweredate-rapes

and I think the only reason the DA finally even took them seriously was because he’d been accused of
beingasexistthepreviousyearandwastryingtohelphisimagewiththecase.”Gramstoldmethatone.
Shehadalwayskeptupwiththattypeofthing.

“Well,atleastjusticewasservedforthosepoorgirls,regardlessofhowitcameabout,”shesaysafter

amomentofsilence.

“I’llraisemydrinktothat,”Itellher,thentakeasipandhopeIhavethecouragetofinishthestory.

Then

Idon’tknowhowlongthequestionslasted,butitseemedlikeforever.Ididn’tlookuptomeetWill’s

eyes again, just kept my face turned away from him and firmly on Jillian. Eventually, the questions
stoppedandIdidn’tquiterealizethatuntilanothermedicalprofessionalcamein—itwashardtotellthe
differencebetweendoctorandnurseatthatpoint.ShemotionedtowardWillandmetocomeoutsideof
theroomtospeakwithherprivately.

“Thedoctorisconfidentthatshedoeshaveamildconcussionfromtheheadtrauma.Herspinelooks

fine, and since they don’t see any sign of more serious damage, they’re comfortable moving her to a
private room. They want to keep her for observation for the rest of today, with discharge likely being
tomorrowmorning.”

“Canyougiveheranything?Maybesomethingtolethersleep?”Will’svoicewasdeeperthannormal,

waveringslightlywithconcern.

Ilookedatthenametagandsawthatthewomanwasapatientadvocate.
“I’lltalktotheMDonthefloor,butI’msurethatwillbefine,ifJillianagrees.Ialsostronglysuggest

youseekcounselingforyoursisterassoonaspossible.Ihavealistofallthespecialistsintheareawho
havefinancialaidforpeopleinyoursituation.”TheadvocatehandedWillafewsheetsofpaper.

“JillianisonPeachCare,isn’tthatcovered?”Willlookedupfromhislist.
“Yes,butshe’llbeeighteensoon,andhercoveragewillstopassoonasshecompleteshighschool.

Anyprofessionalinthatspecialtywillagreethathealingforthetraumayoursisterhasexperienceddoes
nothaveacutanddrytreatment.Havingtoswitchclinicsafternearlyayearwiththesamepersonmight
bedetrimentaltoherrecovery.Youneedtothinklongterm.Thisisacriminalcasewithaminor,there
will likely be an arrest with the amount of information that was provided, but that takes months and
relivingherrapewillbepainful.Iwouldrecommendshecontinuetoseekprofessionalhelpatleastuntil
thetimethathercaseisclosed.”

Willlookeddowntroddenandcompletelyoverwhelmedbywhatwashappening.Basically,helooked

likehowIfelt.Iitchedtomoveclosertohim,tograbhishandandtellhimitwouldbeokay.ButIknewI
couldn’tlietohim.Ididn’tknowitwouldbeokay.Infact,Ihighlydoubtedanythingcouldbeokayever
again.

TheadvocateturnedtomeaftersheseemedcertainWillhadtakenherwordstoheart.“Miss,oneof

theofficersjustinformedmethatyourparentsareontheirwayhere.”

Inoddedmyhead.“Howdidtheyknowtocomehere?”IthoughtmaybeLandonhadcalledthemfor

me,buthowwouldheknowto?

“Theycalledintoreportyoumissingacoupleofhoursago.Theofficerdispatchedrecognizedyour

nameandletthemknowwhatwasgoingon.”

Theytriedtoreportmemissing?“CanIstayhereuntiltheyarrive?”
“Youdon’thaveachoice.There’salreadyanofficerhere,andsinceyou’reaminor,theywanttokeep

youinpolicecustodyuntilyourparentshaveyou.”

“Oh.” It didn’t quite sink in how much trouble I could be in. How could it sink in with what was

happening.

“Will,Iwouldlikeachancetospeakprivatelywithyoursisterforafewminutes.Sinceyouareher

legalguardian,youcanbepresent.However,Ithinkitwouldbebestifyoustayedoutsideforthis.I’llbe
askingifthere’sanythingshe’dliketomakeherstaymorecomfortable—I’llbringupthesleepaide,as
well.Nothingserious,butI’vefoundI’mmorelikelytogetpatientstoagreetosomefoodorcomfortifit
seemslikeit’stheirideaandnotpushedonbyhoveringfamilymembers.Notthatyou’rehovering,”she
addedquickly.“I’dalsolikeyourpermissiontoofferheranemergencycontraceptive.Ihaveinformation
onthemedicationwewoulduseifyouwanttolearnmoreaboutitfirst,”shesaidhesitantly.Willnodded

his head that he was okay with that, and she left the two of us standing awkwardly outside of Jillian's
hospitalroom.

“Will—”
“DidyoueventellyourMomwhereyouguyswouldbe,ordidyousneakoutagain?”
“Idon’tseehowitmattersrightnow.”Iwrappedmyarmsaroundmycenter,knowinghowdefensiveI

soundedbutunabletohelpit.

“ItmattersbecauseIthoughtyouwerebetterthanthat.Youweresupposedtokeepaneyeonher.She

wassupposedtobeatyourhousesoshewouldbesafe.Notsneakingoutwithoutpermissiontogotoa
party.Apartythatpersonwasat.Youdidn’teventhinkaboutit,didyou.Didn’tevenoccurtoyouwhat
couldhappen.”

“I—itwasn’tlikethat.Jillian—”
“Don’tyoudaretrytoblameherforthis.”Hisvoicewaslow.
Iwassoangry,andsohurt,andontopofthat,IfeltsoguiltythatIjustlookeddown.“I’mnottryingto

blameher.”Myvoicecracked,andItriedtoswallowthesob.“I’msorry,Will.Ijuststeppedawayfora
second,andshewasgone.Welookedandwelooked,andI’msosorry.”Myfightagainstcryingwaslost,
andIwasamessoftears.

“NotassorryasIam.”
Ipluckedupmycouragetolookup.“Will.”Isearchedforwords,forsomethingtosaytohim.Icould

feelmyheartbreaking,feelmysoulcracking.Hestaredatme,waitingforwhateveritwasthatIplanned
tosay.“I—”

“Shit,”Willsaid,lookingbehindmeatthepersonwhowaswalkingaroundthenursesstation.
“Whoisit?”Iasked.
“Jillian’ssocialworker,”hetoldme,thenlookedatmewithhardeyes.“Ineedtogospeakwithher,

tryandgethertounderstandthesituationbeforeshedecidesI’munfittokeepJillian.Evenifshe’sright,
I’mnotgivingupmysisterrightnow.”Hepaused.“Anymagicwordsthatyouwereabouttosaytomake
thiswholethinggoawayweren’tgoingtowork,AnnaLynne.”

Iwatched,broken,ashewalkedawayfromme.
“Anna Lynne. Oh, my baby. We were so worried about you.” I was pulled into a hug. Mama had

arrivedtogetme.Sheheldmesotightitwashardtobreathe,andforthefirsttimeinmonths,Ihuggedher
back.ThesobsI’dbeenholdingbackfinallyletloose,andMamaheldmeup,notlettingmefallwhenmy
kneesgave.

“Shh,baby.It’sokay.”Sherubbedmybackinsmallcircles.
AfterafewminutesIhadcalmeddownenoughtopullaway.
“Mama,Jillian—”Ididn’tknowwhattosay.
“Iknow,honey.WhatonGod’sgreenearthmadeyouthinkitwasokaytolieaboutyourwhereabouts

andgotosomepar—”

“Mama,please.Notrightnow,okay?”
Shelookedatme,angerflashinginhereyes.“Itcouldhavebeenyouinthatroom,AnnaLynne.You

just remember that. I was worried sick about you, thinking about all the awful things that could have
happened. So if I feel like lecturing you in between hugs, that’s just the price you pay for being so
irresponsible.Itcouldhavebeenyou.” She hugged me again quickly, tightly. “Now, let’s get you home
andgetsomehotteainyouwhileItryandwrackmybrainoverwhatcouldpossiblybegoodenoughofa
punishmentforthis,”Mamatoldme.

Iopenedmymouthtoargue—wasn’tIalreadybeingpunishedenough?Butmysoulwasstillcracking

andIwassimplytootiredtofight.IlookedbacktotheroomJillianwasin.“CanIatleastgosaybye,
first?”

“If you think you should. I’ll wait right here, Anna Lynne. You have five minutes, sweetheart.” Her

tonewasgoingbackandforthfromfirmtotender,andIknewitmeantherthoughtsweregoingbackand
forthbetweenlividandthankfulthatIwasalright.

Walkingtothebeatofmyownheart,IwenttoJillian’sbed.Shewasaloneintheroomforthefirst

timethatI’dseensincewegotthere,rolledonhersideandstaringatnothing.

“Jillian?”Isatintheseatinfrontofwhereshewasstaring.Shelookedatme,notsayingawordfora

longtime,justlookedrightatme.

“Why did this happen, Anna Lynne? Why did he do this to me?” Her voice was soft, numb, but so

unexpectedIjumped.

“Idon’tknow,butit’snothingyoudid,Jillianandit’snothingyoudeserved.”
“It’smyfault.”Hereyesclosed.
“Ofallthethingstosay.Jillian,youdidn’taskforthis,”Itoldher,swallowedbytheguilt.Iknewit

wasn’therfaultbecauseitwasmine.

Sherolledovertoherbackandworkedthebuttonsonherbedtositupmore.“Itriedtobebrave.I

knewhewasgoingtobethere.Iwantedtoprovehewasn’tincontrolofmylifeanymore.AllIdidwas
provehowstupidIam,andhowweak.”Shesoundedcalm,butIcouldseethestormraginginhereyes.

“Oh,Jillian.That’snot—”
“He’salwaysgoingtobeincontrolnow.Iknowit.Hemademeavictim,andprovedIwasoneonceI

thought I was strong enough to be more than that. Stupid.” She shook her head and closed her eyes,
squeezingoutbigfattearsintheprocess.

Iwantedtodosomething,anythingtomakeherfeelbetter.
“CanIhugyou?”Iasked,unsureifthatwaspushingthings.
She opened her eyes and sat up. I reached forward and squeezed softly. “I am so sorry, Jillian. I

shouldhavebeenthereforyou.”

“It’snotyourfault,AnnaLynne.”
Iignoredthatstatement,knowingitwasfalse.“YouareoneofthestrongestpeopleIhaveevermet,

Jillian.Heisalie,andwhathehasdonetoyouisthedesperateployofaweaksoultryingtotearyou
downbecauseyouarelight,andheisdark,andheisafraidofyoubecauseofthat.Youwillsurvivethis,
Jillian.Youcansurviveanything.”Shewasstrongerthanme,becausewhileIknewshewascryingdueto
mywetshoulder,shedidn’tsinkintothesobsthewayIhad.

“Mymomiswaitingforme,”ItoldheronceIpulledaway.
Shenoddedherhead.
“Theysaidyou’resupposedtobeabletogohome,tomorrow.I’llstopby,okay?”
“Okay, Anna Lynne. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she told me, voice hollow. She wiped her eyes and

lookedaway.

Ilefttheroom,walkingwithMamawhileIsearchedforWillthroughthehalls.Idon’tknowwhatI

wouldhavedoneifIfoundhim—don’tknowwhatIwouldhavesaid—butIcouldn’thelpbutlookand
hope.

Now

Istoptalkingandswallowafewtimes.Whyisthisstillsohardtotalkabout?Ithappenedagesago.I

shouldbeoveritbynow.

Ishouldbeoverhim.
“DidyoukeepintouchwithJillianafteryouleft?”Laylaasks.
I nod. “For a little while—we exchanged letters, as quaint as that sounds. Technology was only

permittedforschoolwork,solettersweretheonlyavenuewecouldtalk,”Laylanods,itmuststillbethe
same.“Ididn’twanttopushthecontact,andafteracoupleofmonthsshestoppedresponding.IfiguredI
wasjustareminderofwhathappenedandleftitalone.

“HowaboutWill,didyoueverseehimagain?”
“Notuntilthetrial.HehadjuststeppedoutwhenIwentoverthenextdaytocheckonJillian,andI

couldn’tstaylongsinceMamawaswaitinginthecar.That’stheonlythingsheletmedo;checkonJillian.
Will was never there, not once. Mama was so afraid that my ‘bad judgement would put me in danger
again,’soafteraboutaweek,shesentmetoschoolearly.Dotheystillhavethesummerprogramforthe
troublekids?”

Laylanods.“So,yousawhimatthetrial?Didyoutwospeak?”
“Yes,wedid.Iwasawitness,meandLandonboth.Willseemedalotmoreatpeacewitheverything,

butitwasmorethantwoyearslater.”

“Doyouknowwhyittooksolong?Theyhadtheevidenceagainsthim,right?”Laylaasks.
Ishrug.“Idon’tknow.I’mprettysureit’sbecausetheydecidedtochargehimwiththeothercases,as

well.Neededtogetalltheirducksinarowtoensurehe’dseeasmuchjailtimeaspossible.”

WhateverbuzzfromtheteaI’vebeennursingisgonenow,thankstothestoryandthewaterIswitched

to.

“So,youtwotalkedafterthetrial?”
“Briefly.Wemadeplanstohavelunchacoupleofdayslater,buthenevershowedup.Ileftitalone.”

Itstungthough,knowingWillstillhatedmeenoughtostandmeup,especiallysinceI’dletmyselfhope
that we could start things new. I used those dashed hopes as fuel towards finishing my degree, and
towards what was the very beginning of my business, A La Cartwright. I always have been good at
makingsleeplessnightsproductive.

“Ouch.”Laylagrimacesatthethoughtofbeingstoodup.I’msureshe’sneverhadthepleasure.
“Nokidding,”Isay,asadsmileonmyface.
“Doyoueverthinkabouthim?”
“Itrynottodwellonthings.”Istopforasecond,thendecidetogowiththetruth.“Yeah,Ithinkabout

himallthetime.Ithinktheworstthingaboutitwasknowingwithyourwholeheartthatyouhadsomething
realandspecial,anditjustwentaway.Onesecond,Willwasmysoulmate—hislovewaslikethiswarm
securityblanket—andthenexthewaslookingatmewithiceinhiseyes.Imean,Iknowwewereyoung
andprobablywouldhavesplitupanyway,butitwassoabruptthatIdon’tthinkIstoppedspinningfromit
untilcollege.”

“Iwonderwhyhedidn’tshowupforlunch,”Laylamuses.
“I’ve wondered the same thing. Truth is, Layla, he probably just didn’t want to see me in the first

placeanddidn’tknowhowtosayit.Heprobablydoesn’tstillblamemeoranything.Ihopenot,atleast.”
Idesperatelyhopenot.

“Youthinkyou’lltrytoseehimnowthatyou’reback?”Laylaasks,armscrossed.
“Ithinkit’sbestifIleftthatdoorclosed.I’mprobablyjustabigfatreminderoftheworstdayofhis

life. I’m sure he’s moved on, and while I’d love to see Jillian, I can’t see how my being around and
dredgingupthepastwilldoanybodyanygood.”

“Sister dear, you aren’t a big fat anything, except maybe a fool.” Layla stands up after checking her

phone.“I’mgoingtogocheckonthecatererandmakeaquickcall.Yousittight,I’llberightback.”

“HowamIafool?”Iask,butmysisterhasalreadyflittedintothehouse.Iletmyselfenjoythequiet

foramoment.Mythroatisalittledryfromallthetalking,butIcan’tseemtomakemyselfgetupandpour
a glass of water. My eyes are closed, and I can feel the setting sun warming my skin. We need to start
lightingthecitronellacandlesbeforethemosquitoesstartbiting.Nothingruinsagoodmeallikeabunch
ofbuzzinglittlebloodsuckers.

Ihearthedooropenagainatmyback.Ifinallyopenmyeyes,andleanforwardandstartlightingthe

candles with the ever present lighter kept for that purpose. “Layla, please tell me that food is coming
soon.I’mstarving.”I’mhavingahardtimewithoneofthecandles.Thewickistoolow,soit’stakinga
minute.

“She,uh,LaylatoldmetoletyouknowshehadanemergencytotakecareofattheChamber,”saysa

voicethatismostdefinitelynotmysister’s.

Myentirebodyfreezes.Iknowthatvoice,knowitwitheveryfiberofmybeing.Istandupthenturn

around, certain my brain is just playing an awful trick on me because of all the memories I’ve just
dredgedup.

Nomistake.AsIliveandbreathe,WillAndersonisstandinginthedoorway,pushingtheservingcart

thatGramshadkeptinthekitchen.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, completely lacking any elegance and grace. Mama would be so

disappointed.

Hepauseswiththecartandlooksup.“I’mthecaterer.LaylatoldmeIwasexpected.”
OnlynowdoInoticethathe’swearingawhitechefcoatandcheckeredpants.
“I’m going to kill her,” I mumble under my breath, then force a smile past my shock and nerves. “It

musthaveslippedhermindthatyouweretheonedoingthecatering.”

Hesmirks.“I’msurethat’sit,”hesays,drippingsarcasm.
Histoneissofamiliar,sospot-on,thatIcan’thelpbutlaugh.Hesmiles,andmyownfacesplitsopen

tomatch.

Icrossmyarms.Hisshouldersseemtense,evidenceofhowcompletelyuncomfortableheis.Ihate

thatIcanstillreadhisbodylanguage.

“Didmydearsistermentionhowlongshewouldbegone?”Itrytoactnormal,butIhavenoideawhat

normalisforthissituation.

“No,shedidn’t.Onlytoldmetogoaheadandstartwithouther.”
“Then I guess we should get started.” I sigh. If she was going to shove me into this situation, Layla

couldatleasthavethedecencytobehereandactasabufferfortheawkwardnessthatisallbutfalling
fromthesky.Isitbackdowninmyseat,fillingmyglasstotheverybrimwithmoretea.

Thewhiskeyinitwillhelp.
BecauseI’mageneroussortofperson,Ipourhimaglass,too.
Willplacesacoupleofdifferentplatesinfrontofme,standstotheside,andexplainsthedisheslikeI

care.Likehe’sjustplanningtoignoreourverytorridpast.

“Youaren’tgoingtomakemeeatthisalone,areyou?Youmadeenoughfortwo,andtherearetwoof

ushere.”

WilllooksaroundasifIcouldpossiblybetalkingtosomeoneelse,thenawkwardlysitsdowninthe

chairthatLaylahadbeensittingin.Ireachforwardandmovehercupawaybeforepushinghisforward
whilehereachesfortheplatesonthecarthehadpreparedformysister.

“So, you work for a catering company?” I finally ask after a few seconds of silence before very

purposelytakingabite.

Hesmiles.“Yeah.JillandIopenedthecateringbranchayearago,soit’sstillprettynew.”

My fork pauses on the way to my mouth at the mention of Jill. “You guys own it together?” I ask.

“Wait,didyousaybranch?”

He chuckles, then points to a small logo on the front of his coat. “Jill got her bakery and I got my

cateringcompany.Nowwe’rebothhappy.”

“You guys bought Yums Buns? You’re kidding! When did this happen?” I ask once I recognized the

logoonhiscoatfromthebusinessofmyfirstjob.

“Carlandhiswifedidtheearlyretirementthingafewyearsback.Theyweremuchhappiersellingit

tousandknowingwe’dtakecareoftheplacethanafewoutoftownstrangers.Theygaveusamuchmore
generousdealonitthanwedeserved.”

“That’sjustamazing,Will.”Ipickupanothersamplefrommyplateandpopitinmymouth.“So,what

areweeatinghere?”

“BasilParmesanCrispswithSearedTuna.”
Ieatanotherone,lovingthetextureoftheperfectlysearedtunaagainstthecrunchofthecrisp.
“They’reamazing.Iwantamillionmore.”
“Whatthecustomerwants…”Hetrailsoff,smiling.
Everything else I try is delicious, and I wonder how I can justify ordering every dish. I study Will

betweenbitesandsipsofdrink.Inoticethesmatteringofgrayinhishair,andlittlelinesaroundhisso-
blue eyes. He’s aged well, despite the evidence that the time-bitch has left him with. He looks happier
thanhedidwhenwewereyounger.Hiseyesaremissingtheundercurrentofstressanduncertainty,and
hasgainedcontentmentandacertainlevelofconfidencethathedidn’thavebefore.

HenoticesthatI’mnolongereatingandraisesaneyebrowatme,silentlyaskingwhatI’mlookingat.
Ipushmymostlyemptyplatesaway,thenleanforwardonmyelbows.“Howhaveyoubeen?Other

thanowningthebestbakery—andcateringcompany,I’msure—intheSouth,whathaveyoubeenupto?”

“Isthisyourwayofpushingbackadecisiononthefood?”
I smile. “Maybe. But it’s been a long time, Will. Is it so crazy that I want to catch up?” I force my

voice into an easygoing tone, hoping my eyes don’t betray how desperately I want to hear about him. I
ignoretheflashbackIhaveofthelasttimeweweresupposedtocatchup,ofmysittingaloneatacafefor
hours,waitingforhimlongafterIknewhehadstoodmeup.

“I’vebeengood,Allie,”hesayssoftly.“Iwenttoculinaryschool,thenwegotthebakeryrightafter.

I’vebeenbusy.”

“Culinaryschool?Youwenttocollege?Ofcourseyoudid!”I‘mbeamingwithapridethatIhaveno

righttofeel.Iknewhewoulddogreatatschool,andhedoesn’thavetotellmeaboutwhattypeofgrades
hemadeformetoknowhedidwell.Afterall,I’vejustfinishedtastingevidenceofhiseducation.

Helaughs.“Yeah.Iwouldn’thavegoneifnotforJilly.Shemademegoaftershegraduatedherself

withadegreeinCulinaryArtswithafocusonbaking.”He’ssmilingwithprideinhissister.“Itriedto
refuse,butshe’dforgedmyapplicationandalreadypaidforthefirstsemester.Saiditwasafairtrade:I
payforherdegreeandshepaysformine.”Willshakeshishead,butIknowhe’sreallypleasedhissister
pushedhimlikethat.

“That sounds like Jillian.” My smile wavers a bit, and I lower my eyes. “How is she, by the way?

She’salwaysbeenagreatbaker,justlikeyou’vealwaysbeenanexcellentcook.”Isneakalookupand
seeaquickshadowpasshiseyes.

“She’sdoingreallywell.StaysbusierthanIdo,actually.Jillyhasthiscrazyideathatweshouldbe

the first choice catering company for wedding events, so she’s been trying to network with event
coordinators and go to all the wedding shows in the area with giant wedding cakes to sample out to
potential clients.” I want to point out that he’s only answering questions on how they are doing
professionally.Bigdifferencefrompersonal,butIdon’twanttopushwhenWillisactuallytalkingtome.

“WhataboutLandon?”Landonhadgreetedmewithahugehugatthetrial,andwastheonlypersonI

knewdidn’tblamemeforwhathadhappenedtoJillian.

“He’sgood.Worksasadetectivenow.”
“You’rekiddingme.Landonisacop?”
Willchuckles.“Yeah,finallymadeittoSVUacoupleofmonthsback.”
“That’scrazy.Ineverwouldhaveguessed.”
“NeitherwouldLandon.HewenttocollegeaboutayearbeforeIdid.Ofcourse,hewentforpre-law.

Figuredoutrealquickhedidn’twanttobealawyer,switchedhismajortoCriminalJusticeinstead,and
joinedtheforceimmediatelyupongraduation.”Willsoundslikeheisstillsurprisedbythestrangeturnof
events.

Ishakemyhead.“Hisbeingapolicedetectiveismuchmorebelievablethanhisbeingalawyer.What

intheworldinspiredthat?”

Willgoesstill.“Well,firsthewantedtobeavictimsadvocate,butafterhelookedintothatabit,he

realizedthatmostvictimspreferafemaleadvocate.Hewantedtohelpeffectively,andthoughtworkingat
theDA’sofficewouldbethewaytodoit.Ithinktheideaofgraduateschoolchangedhismind.Hesaidhe
wasn’tmeanttospendhisbestyearsswelteringinaclassroom.”

I laugh. “They didn’t have AC at his school?” I didn’t have to ask why he wanted to be a victims

advocate. It was the same reason why a portion of my yearly proceeds go to RAINN, an anti-sexual
violenceorganization,eachyear.LandonandIwerefirsttoseeJillianafterwhathappened.Thattypeof
thingstayswithyou.

Will chuckles. “He did half his classes online at the library. You know Landon.” He shrugs. “How

aboutyou,AnnaLynne?Howhaveyoubeen?”Willasks,voicelowagain.Itellmyselfnottonoticethat
heswitchedbacktomynameinsteadofusingmynicknameagain.

“Busy,Isuppose.Idon’tknowifLaylatoldyou,butI’mhereforgood.Justleasedastorefrontonthe

boardwalk.”Iheartheprideinmyvoice,andampleasedthatnoneofmynervesshow.I’vedonequite
well selling my line in other people’s stores. My website does fabulously well. But my own location,
withahugechunkofmysavingsinvestedinit—it’sadreamcometrueandwillbreakmyheartifitfails.

“Isawyouwonsomeawardlastyear,”hesays,surprisingme.
AnACEAwardwasthecrowningmomentsinceIstarteddesigning,butit’snotexactlysomethingthat

makesthenewspaper.Iwonderhowhefoundout;wonderifhe’sbeencheckinguponmeviaalittlelight
cyberstalking.DidhefollowmeonTwitter,orjusthappenuponmywebsiteafteraquickGooglesearch
forcuriosity’ssake?

Ismile.“Yeah,muchtomyownshock,butitampedmybusinessupenoughformetofinallyopena

brick-and-mortarstore.”

He lifts his glass, taking the first sip I’ve noticed, then makes a face. “That was stronger than I

expected.”

Ilaugh.“Ithinktheboozesettledtothebottomofthepitcher.”
Hetakesanotherdrink.“Apparently.”
Wesitinsilence,assavvyasacoupleofteenagersonafirstdate.Thisisn’tadatethough,andIcan

feelmythroatclogwithallthethingsIwanttosay;withallthethingsIwanttoask.Istandupandwalk
overtothebanisterbehindWillandlookoverthesideatthesettingsun.

“Thisisn’tsobad,isit?”IturnaroundtoseeWillstanding,too.“Sharingafewremarkablebitesof

food,andtalkingabit?”Idon’tsay‘catchingup’becauseIdon’tthinkwe’vetalkedenoughtowarrant
that.

Heshakeshishead.“No,Allie.It’snotbadatall,”hesayssoftly.
Iturnbackaround,pleasedthatWillwalksupandjoinsme.“I’vemissedithere.”
Willdoesn’tsayanythingatfirst.Ilookdownandseethathishandsarefistedtight.“Whyhasittaken

yousolongtocomeback?”heasks.

“I’ve been busy.” I stop, then sigh. “I don’t know, it took a while for me to pluck up my courage, I

guess. I couldn’t face the memories.” From the corner of my eye I see Will is staring straight ahead. “I
missedithere,though.Thisistheonlyhousethateverreallyfeltlikehome.”

“Isthehousetheonlythingthatyoumissed?”heasks,makingmyheartpoundsoloudlyIcanhearit.
Iclosemyeyessotheydon’twater.WhatamIsupposedtosay?MyeyesopenwhenIfeelhishandon

mycheek,gentlyturningmyfacetolookathim.Ido,andmyimaginationhastrickedmeintothinkinghe’s
lookingatmeinthatsamespecialwayheusedto.

“Ididn’tstandyouup,Allie,”hesays.
Iblinkinconfusion.“What?When?”
“Afterthetrial,”hesays.
“Yesyoudid.Iwasthere,andyouweren’t.”
“YouwerealreadyseatedwhenIshowedup,studyingthemenu.Ileftbeforeyousawme.”
Ishakemyhead.Thatdoesn’tmakesense.“Why?Iwaitedforhours,Will.Ithoughtyoustillhatedme

forwhathappened.”Icrossmyarms.

Hebreakseyecontact.“Iwasashamed,AnnaLynne.Thelasttimewehadseeneachother,Iblamed

youforJillian.Itwasneveryourfault,andittookalongtimeformetoseeitwasn’tmyfaulteither.Iwas
stillamess,workingtwojobs.Ishowedupinbetweenshifts,smellinglikeakitchen.Youwere,well…
I’mnotgoingtopretendIrememberwhatyouwerewearing,butyouweresoputtogether.Icouldn’tface
you.AllIcouldofferatthetimewasanapology,andIwastoomuchofacowardtoevengivethatto
you.”

Iturnagaintofacethesunset.“IhatedmyselfforwhathappenedtoJillian,andthinkingthatyouhated

meforittoowasawful,Will.Evenifitwasacoupleofyearslater,thinkingsomeonethatyoulove—that
youusedtolovesomuch…”Itrailoff.

Willtouchesmyarm,andIturnagaintofacehim.“Whichwasit,Allie?”heasks.“Love,orusedto

love?IfIhadsatdownacrossfromyouthatday,whatwouldhavehappened?”

“Does it matter anymore, Will? It’s been a decade since then, and longer than that since we were

together.Whateverwehadislongpassed,andittookmealongtime”andalotoftherapy,Iaddsilently,
“togetoverit.”It’strue,butIdon’tknowwhymyheartfeelslikeit’sbreakingbysayingitoutloud.

“Soyou’reoverit?Thinkingaboutusandwhatcouldhavebeendoesn’tfillyouwith—”
“Withwhat,Will?Wewerebasicallychildren.Youthinkwewouldhavegrownupandlivedhappily

everafter?Evenifwehadn’tfacedwhatwehadtoface.”Imakemyselfsayit.“EvenifJillianwasn’t
rapedbythatmonster,westillwouldhaveended.”Isoftenmyvoice.“Youweremyfirstlove,andan
amazing one. I cherish my memories of us together, and you’ll always hold a very special place in my
heart.”

Herunshishandthroughhishair,andIdon’tknowwhyheseemssoagitatedbywhatI’msaying.“I

jumpedontakingthisjobtonightbecauseIwashopingthatIcouldpumpLaylaforinformationonhowto
getintouchwithyou.I’mnotascaredlittleboyanymore,andknewitwaspasttimeformetoapologize.I
camehere,andwentoverandoverinmyheadwhatIwasgoingtosaytoLayla,who’sactingcrazierthan
Irememberhertobe.Ifinallymakeupsomeexcusetospeakwithherprivately,andseeyoutwoouthere,
talkingaboutus.Thisisn’thowthiseveningwassupposedtogo,butI’mglad,Al.I’mgladthatyou’re
here,andwhileIwasn’texpectingmyentireworldtospinwhenIsawyouagain,I’mglad.Whateverwe
have,AnnaLynne,sureashellisn’tjustinthepast.Notforme,andjudgingbytheemotioninyourvoice
whileyouweretellingourstory,nottomentionthewayyou’relookingatmerightnow,I’dsayit’snotin
thepastforyoueither.”

Iopenmymouth,closeit,thenopenitagaintodenyhisclaims.
“Itoldyouonce,Allie.Idon’tlikelying,andwebothknowthatwhateveryouwereabouttosaywas

alie.”HecutsmeoffbeforeIcouldgetanywordsout.

“You’rejustasbigofabullynowasyouwerethen.”ButwhateverelseI’mgoingtosaydiesonmy

lips.He’sstandingclosernow,andcloser.

“Tellmethetruth,AnnaLynne.Tellmeyoudon’twantmerightnow.Thatyoudon’twanttoconfirm

whatyouknowinyourheart,thatwhatwehaveiswhatforeverismadeoutof.Tellme,andImightjust
letyougo.”Hewhispersthelastbit,socloseIcanfeelhisbreathonmyskin.

“Don’ttellmewhattodo,”IsaybeforeIreachahandaroundhisneckandgiveintotemptation.Ikiss

him,andthisisn’tsomeshyfirstkissofaseventeenyearoldgirl.Thisismoltenlava,it’sfireworksand
fate, and it makes my knees weak and my heart race. He meets me with the same fervor, as if my kiss
didn’tcomeoutoftheblue.Asifhe’sbeenexpectingit,andmaybehehasbeen.MaybeIhavebeen,too;
maybeIknewthemomentIsawhimthatitwasonlyamatteroftimebeforehisarmswouldbearoundme
again. I can feel just the barest bit of stubble on his upper lip, and his arms around me feel so much
stronger than they did when last we met. He feels different, and probably is different, at least different
thantheboyIonceknew.I’mdifferentthanthegirlIusedtobe,too.Somehow,itdoesn’tseemtomatter.
Ourmouthsslow,andnowwe’rejustholdingeachother.Myliferefocuses,andwhileIknowmyfuture
wouldbefullofjoyandlightifthismomentneverhappened,Ifeelthatthisiswhatmeanttobefeelslike.

Whatforeverfeelslike.
Logicintrudesmythoughts,andIpullmyfacebackandlookintoeyesthatshowaperfectreflectionof

me.“Nowwhat,Will?”Iwanttoaskmore,butcan’tvoicethesmallwhisperofdoubtthatthisisunlikely
toendhowwewant.

Hekissesmyforehead.“Now,Al,westartourforever.”
Ilaugh.“Howdoesonestarttheir‘forever,’Will?”
“Likethis:AnnaLynneCartwright,wouldyouliketogotodinnerwithmetomorrow?”
Inarrowmyeyes.“It’saseasyasthat?”
Hehugsmetighttohim,andIknowhe’sfeelingthesamethingIam—thatdesperateneedtoholdonin

casewhatwehaveslipsawayagain.

“Al, when you have what we have, it’s supposed to be easy.” He pulls back after a minute. “We’ll

haveplentyoftimeforthehardbits,butadmittingthatIwanttobewithyou,tellingyouthatIcan’twait
to fall in love with the woman you are now because I’ve never stopped loving the girl you used to be,
well,that’stheeasiestthingI’veeverdone.”

IthinkaboutwhatGramswouldsay,andIhavemyanswer.He’sright.Becauseitiseasywithhim,

easytobelieveinthefairytale.“Dinnertomorrowsoundsgreat.”

Hepullsawaytolookatme.“Anyotherquestions?”heasks,smirkinplace.
“Only one.” I reach up on my toes again and stop just short of kissing him. “What’s for dessert?” I

whisper,soclosemylipsbrushagainsthis.

Hechuckles,adeepthroatythingthatmakesmystomachclench.“Truffles.”
Ismile.“Ihopetheseareprettierthanthelastonesyoumademe.”
“Nope,”hesaysrightbeforekissingme.
Maybewe’lltakethingsslow,testthewaterout.Maybewewon’t.Eitherway,I’mexcitedtostartthis

nextchapter.Excitedtoseewhereforevertakesme,becausesomehowIknowit’swithhim.

Epilogue

“Doyouthinkitworked?”
Ilookatmyfriendandshrug.“LordknowsIhopeitdid.Thosetwoaremorestubbornthanaparade

ofmulesthough,sowhoknows.”

“WhatifAnnaLynnejustkickedhimout,orifWilljustleftwithoutaword?”
“Jillian,Ithinktheybothneedclosurealittletoomuchforthattohavehappened.”Isayitcoolly,butI

knowthatJillcanseethroughmycalmwordsandhappyface.I’mpacing,havebeensinceIsteppedfoot
intothebakerytotellhertheplanwasinmotion.

“Okay, okay, you’re right Layla. I’m just anxious. Will volunteered for Anna Lynne’s tasting so

quickly,Ididn’tevenhavetogivehimtheexcuseI’dmadeupwhyIcouldn’tdoitmyself!Clearly,he
wantedtoseeher.”

Ilookathersharply.“Hedidn’tknowitwasforAnnaLynne,didhe?”
“Oh,no.Itoldhimitwasforanewbusinessownerinthearea.”Jilliansmiles,araresightbutstillas

bigandinfectiousasIrememberittobewhenIwasalittlegirl.

“Well,that’sthetruth.AnnaLynneisanewbusinessowner,andwhatistheChambergoodforifnot

helpinglocalbusinessesout?”

“I know it helped us.” She raises her water bottle at me in salute. The Chamber of Commerce was

kind of responsible for this entire night. My first event reconnected me with Jillian, and we’ve been
hatchingthisplaneversinceAnnaLynnetoldmeshewasfinallycominghome.

Ilookatmyfriendandknowshe’sanxious,andwithmorereasonthanIhave.Sheandmysisterhad

been best friends during the hardest time in Jillian’s life. I know she has demons that haven’t been
properly addressed, and I finally know exactly what those demons are, rather than just the gist. Anna
Lynnebeingbackhasgottobedredgingthingsup.

“Ifthosetwomessthingsupagain,I’mgoingtostabthem,”shesaysafterafewminutesofsilence.

She’ssupposedtobecleaninguptheshop,sincethey’veonlybeenclosedforaboutthirtyminutes.Instead
she’sstandingbythebakecase,raginhand,washingthesamebitofcountershewaswhenIwalkedin.

I laugh. “I don’t think murder will help the situation, Jillian. Besides, A La Cartwright is right next

door.Eveniftonightdoesn’tgosmoothly,they’llbebumpingintoeachotherallthetime.Somethinggood
is bound to happen, right? Maybe we should open that bottle of champagne you have in the fridge and
celebrate.”

“Wedon’tknowifthere’sanythingtocelebrateyet,though.”
Thebellonthedoorjingles,andwebothturn.
“We’re closed,” Jillian calls out before she sees who it is. “Oh, it’s you. Landon, don’t you have

somethingbettertodo?”

Landonignoresherandsitsdown.“Notreally.IwassupposedtomeetWillhererightaboutnow,but

hejustcalledandcanceled.IeventoldhimIwaspracticallyhere,andhedidn’tcare.Rude.”

Thatgotourattention.“Really?”Iask,thensitdownacrossfromhim.
Jilliantakestheseatonhisrightandasks,“Didhesaywhy?”
Landonraisesbotheyebrows,probablyconfusedbyourinterest.“No,buthedidn’thaveto.Ihearda

woman’s voice in the background, and he sounded way too happy with life.” He pauses for a second.
“Willneversoundshappy,andhenevercancelsplanslastminuteforsomechick.Ican’tbelievehedidn’t
tellmehe’sdatingsomeone.”Hestartsmutteringtohimselfaboutbrosbeforehoes.

Jillian and I look at each other and smile, then laugh. “I’ll think I’ll just go and get the champagne.

Landon,wouldyoulikeaglass?We’recelebrating!”Shedoesn’twaitforaresponsebeforeshestandsup
andheadstothekitchen.

“Celebrating?DoyoutwoknowsomethingIdon’t?”heasks,lookingatJillasshewalksaway.It’s

notthefirsttimeI’vecaughthimwatchingher.Notthesecondorthirdtime,either.Hmm...

“Afewthings,actually,”Isay.“Don’tworry,Landon,I’llfillyouin.”Well,I’llfillhiminaboutWill

andAnnaLynne.

Theotherthing,well,Ineedanewconspiratorfortheotherthing.NowthatAnnaLynneandWillare

mostlytakencareof,Ihavetimetohatchanotherplan.

RapeandRelationshipViolencehappenseverydaytoallmannersofpeople.Abusers,likevictims,come
inallshapesandsizes.Someusefists,someusewords,someusedate-rapedrugs.Ifyou,orsomeoneyou
know,suspectyouareinanabusiverelationship,orhavebeenthevictimofrape,pleaseseekhelp.

TheNationalDomesticViolenceHotline:

http://www.thehotline.org/

1-800-799-SAFE(7233),or1-800-787-3224(TTY)

RAINN(Rape,Abuse&IncestNationalNetwork):

https://www.rainn.org/

1-800-656-HOPE(4673)

ANoteAboutReviews

Whetheryoulovedit,hatedit,orwerecompletelyambivalent,yourreviewwillhelpothersdecideif

theywouldliketoreadmybook.Pleaseconsiderleavingjustafewwordsonthesiteyoupurchasedfrom
and/orGoodreads.EveryreviewmattersandIreadthemall!

Thisbookhasbeenalongtimecoming,andtherearealotofpeoplewhodeservethanks.MostlyYOU,
my readers, for reading this book even though it’s been over a year since my last publication (not to
mentionit’sinaverydifferentgenrethanwhatyoumayhavecometoexpectfromme).IhopeIdidyou
proud,andifnot…Ihopeyoudon’tholditagainstme.;)

As always, a huge shout out to my graphic designer, Bruce Gore, who put together yet another

outstandingcover.

Mywritinggroup,TheRebelWriters,whoarealwaysjustacallormessageawaywhenIneedthem.

Sometimesfamilyiswhoyouchoose,andIchooseyoutobemysistersandbrother.

Mybetareaders,forputtingupwithmylastminuteways.Oneday,I’llgetorganized.Thatisnotthis

day,butoneday…LenoreKosinski,CurlyCarlaWaluck,KellyPeairs(whohadtodealdirectlywithmy
snail-like process), Christy Amador, Loni Wolfe, and Zara Oakley. This book would be a Hot Mess
withoutyouladies.

Mydaughters,RowanandKinsey,andmybonuskiddos—Audrey,Isabelle,andMichael.Iloveyou

ALLsomuch.Therestofmyfamilyaswell;mymother,BeckieNichols,AuntAmieWilcox,andahostof
otherrelativeswhohavesupportedmethroughthiswritingjourney.

Ipouredalotofmyrecentexperiencesintothisbook,soIneedtothankJarrettSellers.Hewasmy

inspirationforWill,andalifetimetogetherwon’tbelongenough.

OtherBooksbyReganClaire

GatheringWaterTrilogy
GatheringWater(Book#1)
TemperingEarth(Book#2)
IgnitingSpirit(Book#3)

AbouttheAuthor

A Tidewater girl born and bred, Regan Claire’s first friend and love was the Atlantic. Growing up

being told legends about pirates and American Natives common in coastal VA and NC, coupled with
beinganonlychild,didwondersforherimagination;she’shadonefootinfantasy-landeversince,atrait
herclosestfriendsheroicallyendure(andoneshesecretlyhopeshertwodaughtershaveinherited).She
movedinlandtoNashvillewhenshewasenteringtweenhood,andnotadaygoesbythatshedoesn’tmiss
herchildhoodplaymateandit’scrashingwaves.Nashvillehasherperksthough,andRegan’sproudtobe
raising her children in Music City with the man she adores. She loves fairy tales, teen movies, is
constantlylate,andhasabunnythatcanbeatupyourdog.

StalktheAuthorat:
ReganClaire.feedback@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/reganclairepage/
https://Goodreads.com/ReganClaire

Here’syourexclusivesneakpeekatbest-sellingYAauthorStormySmith’snextrelease–WhoSheWas.
ComingMay4,2017.

WhoSheWas

ChapterOne
Charlie

August
“Areyouguysreadyforthis?”

Theoverly-excitedfratboyinchargeyelledintothemicrophoneandthebackyardoftheSigma

Alphahousehitdeafeninglevels.Insidetheirdingykitchen,IsharedawarylookwithafewoftheKappa
pledges.

“As much fun as we’re already having tonight, it’s about to get real! The fifth annual dating

auctionisabouttostart.Thatmeanstheonlythingstandingbetweenyouandahotlittlesororitypledgeis
yourparents’money!”

A petite redhead who barely looked fifteen, let alone eighteen, drew back the curtain of the

kitchenwindowtopeekoutashecontinuedandthengiggled.

“I can’t believe rush week is finally here and tonight is the auction!” She actually clapped her

hands together and I forced my eyes not to disappear into the back of my head. “I hope Austin bids on
me,”shegushed.“He’ssohot.”

“And you will be yet another notch on his freshman bedpost,” I muttered before I could stop

myself.Thegirlbehindmeinlinestifledachuckle,andIsmiledknowingtherewassomeoneelsewho
understoodhowabsurdthiswas.

“YourmomwasaKappa,too?”Sheasked.

Inodded.Thelineofsororitypledgesfiledforwardthroughthekitchentothebackdoorasthe

emceeannouncedthenextpieceofmeatupforbid.Ikeptmyeyesforwardandnotonthehalf-filledkeg
cupsandrippedopenchipbags.

“Canyoubelievewehavetogothroughwiththisjusttopledge?”Thegirltwistedapieceofher

hairandIdidn’tmissthefearthatflashedinhereyes.“TheworstpartwaswhenItoldmymom,shewas
actuallyexcited.”

WetookanotherstepforwardasIshookmyheadindisbelief.Ihadn’tbotheredtoeventellmy

mothersinceitwouldn’thavemattered.GettinginwasallshewasworriedaboutandKatiewastheonly
onewhoevermatteredtoher.

Then,Iwasnext.Iswalloweddownmyownanxietyandpressedmysweatingpalmsdownmy

skirt.Itwastightandhigh-waisted,andmyheelswerehigherthanIwascomfortablewith.

Katiewouldhavelovedmeinit.

ImissedmyChucks.

MynamecameoverthecracklingsoundsystemandIfeltwarmfingersencirclemyown.

“You’lldogreat,Charlotte,”sheencouraged.Ihadn’tevenbotheredtoaskhernameandshe’d

beenastuteenoughtopluckminefromthebiobeingreadtothecrowd.Igaveheratight-lippedsmileand
returnedthegestureeventhoughIwantedtoyankmyhandfromhersandwipeitoffagain.

I pushed through the torn screen door and pulled the humid August air into my lungs as I

straightenedmypostureandputonefootinfrontoftheother.Mysmilewassoautomaticitdidn’tmatter
thatIdidn’tfeelitanywherebuttheshiftinmycheeks—nottoomuchteethtoseemfake,justenoughfor
noonetoeverthinkanythingwaswrong.

Theemcee’svoicewaslostinthecatcalls.Iheardbidsofanywherefromfivedollarstotwenty

as they commented on my rack or how my long hair would come in handy. My fingers tapped out a
familiar rhythm onto my hip, one that I refused to acknowledge, but it was the only way I could keep
circlingthericketystage.

Ihadtogetintothissorority.Itwaswhatshewanted.Itwasn’toptional.

“Twohundredandfiftydollars.”Hisvoicesilencedthecrowd.

My smile didn’t waver as I let out a longer exhale and thanked whoever he was while also

prayinghewasn’tapsycho.

Asweaty,drunkguyhelpedmeoffthestage,andIwasthankfulwhenmyheelssunkslightlyinto

the ground because it was over and all the attention shifted to the next piece of cattle. I followed the
turningheadsinthedirectionofmybidder,whowasstilllostinthecrowd.

Thecrowdshiftedastheirattentionfocusedbackonthenextpledgeupforbid.Thelightfromthe

porchfoundhimandhestoodfacingme,clearlywaiting.Forasplitsecond,timestopped.

He smirked, catching my pause. The baby-face Trevor had the last time I saw him was gone.

Instead,angularfeaturesandquestioningeyesstaredbackatme.

Iwantedtospinonmyheelandruntheotherdirection.Trevorwastheslipknotofmylife.The

carefully intertwined ropes I’d wrapped around the person I used to be — the one he alone had
understood and yet still abandoned — could be unraveled with one tug. He could destroy me and
everythingI’ddonetoatoneformymistake.

NooneknewwhatI’ddone.Howitwasallmyfault.I’dnevertoldanyonesohecouldn’tknow.

ItwasasecretIdesperatelywantedtosharesoInolongerhadtobearitalone,butknewIcouldn’t.

“Fancymeetingyouhere,Charlie,”Trevorsaidashepushedhisthick-rimmedglassuphisnose,

failingtoconvincemehewasanymorecomfortablewithourimpromptureunionthanIwas.

Ididn’tneedhimanymore.Hewasthewho’ddisappearedandleftmeallalone.Itdidn’tmatter

that he was the one who knew the rhythm I tapped out to get through the worst of times. Or that in an
instant I remembered what real laughter felt like and the feel of ivory under my fingertips. It couldn’t
matter.Notanymore.

Ichargedforward,auto-smiledandplayedthepartI’dcastformyself.

“Charlotte,”Istated.“MynameisCharlotte.”

Andhere’sthefullsynopsisforWhoSheWas
Trevor Adler loathes the music he used to love, but it’s the key to his full-ride scholarship and the

ticketawayfromhisdysfunctionalparents.Tokickofftheirfreshmanyear,Trevor’sroommatedragshim
toafratparty,whereheendsupface-to-facewithhischildhoodbestfriendandfindshimselfentrenched
inmemorieshe’dratherforget.

Unable to let Charlie go again without understanding the truth of why she disappeared from his life

andchosetobecomethetypeofpersontheyalwayshated,Trevorisrelentlessinhispursuitofthegirlhe
onceknew.

Charlotte(Charlie)Loganisbroken.Underherperfectly-craftedexterioraretheshardsofashattered

heart. A handful of angry words changed her life completely and Charlie’s never been able to forgive
herselfforthetruthshe’shiddenfromeveryone.

WhileTrevorpushesCharlietorememberthemusicthatlithersoulandthelaughtertheyshared,they

find themselves reverting to a banter-filled rhythm that feels all too familiar, yet different now. When

Trevor’sownsecretscometolight,itbecomesclearheandCharliebothmustfacetheirtragicpastsif
theyhaveanyhopeatafuturetogether.

ComingMay4,2017exclusivelyonAmazon.

Want a reminder when Who She Was releases? Sign up for Stormy’s Reader’s Group. There’s no

spam,justbook-relatedawesomeness.

Here’sthelink.

Document Outline

Copyright
Dedication
Now
Then
Epilogue
DV Plug
A Note About Reviews
Acknowledgements
Other Books
Who She Was

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