RAYOFLIGHT

(RaySeries#1)

E.L.TODD

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ChapterOne

Rae
“You’resuchapieceofshit.Shutyourassandpickupafteryourself.”Ikickedhispileofclothes

aside,hookinghisboxersonthetipofmyrunningshoes.Anassortmentofdirtyclotheswasallover
thelaundryroom.Icouldn’tevenwalkthroughitwithouttrippingoversomethingdisgusting.

Rexraisedbothofhishandsintheair.“Dude,chill.”
“Iwillnotchill.”Istompedmyfeetjustlikeachild.“AndI’mnotadude.”
“Really?” He cocked his head to the side the way he always did just before he said something

smartass.“Youfooledme.”

Ikickedhisboxersathim.“Ugh.”
“Isthatsupposedtogrossmeout?”heasked.“They’remine.”
“Theyshouldgrossyouout.Theysmelllikeass.”
“Yourfacesmellslikeass.”
Safaristoodinthehallwaywithhisleashinhismouth.Itdangledtothehardwoodfloor.Hesat

therepatientlyandwaitedforhisafternoonrunthroughthepark.HewasaGermanShepherdandan
excellentdog.Theargumentdidn’tfazehimatall.Hejuststoodthere.

Rex was driving me up the wall. I wanted to murder him in cold blood and not even hide that

knowledgefromthepolice.Iwantedallthegloryforgettingridofthisannoyingbitch.“You’relucky
I’mlettingyoucrashwithmeuntilyourbusinesspicksup.Theleastyoucandoisnotbeapig.”

“How can I when you hold that over my head every other second?” Rex met my fury with his

own. He was a formidable opponent when it came to arguing. He knew me well enough to combat
anythingIsaidandturnitaroundonme.Hehaddarkhairthatwasalmostblack,andhistallstature
dwarfedmine.

“Ionlyholditoveryourheadwhenyoutearmyhomeapart.Justcleanupafteryourself.Shit,

areyoufive?”

“IwasgonnacleanitupbutIgotcaughtup—”
“Cut the crap. We both know you weren’t going to do it. Now start.” I walked around him

because I was sick of this argument. I felt like I had a twenty-eight-year-old child living in my
apartment.

“Youneedtogetlaid,Rae.”Rexscoopeduphisdirtylaundryandtosseditinthehamper.“Or

youneedtowaitforyourperiodtopassbeforeyoustartscreamingateverybody.”

“LasttimeIchecked,youweretheonlypersonIscreamedat.”
“Well,takemeoffyourlist.”Hegrabbedanotherpairofhisboxersandthrewthemrightatmy

face.

“Ugh.”Iyankedthemoffandthrewthemontheground.“Ihateyou.”
“Feelingismutual.”
“No,Iactuallyhateyou.”
“Whatacoincidence.”Heheadedbacktohisroom,hisshoulderstenseinrage.
“Wherethehellareyougoing?”
“Tomyroom,nimrod.”
“Doyourdamnlaundry!Whatdidwejusttalkabout?”
“I’llwaituntilyou’reout.”Heslammedthedoorbehindhimwithhisfoot.
Istaredatthecloseddoorandsighed,feelingamixofemotionsburnaholerightthroughme.

Rex was the brother from hell. He was ungrateful for everything I did for him, and he made me a
prisonerinmyownhome.EverydaywhenIcamehomefromwork,thekitchenwasmassacredfrom
alltheproteinshakes,food,andbeerheinhaledallday.Iwasconstantlycleaningupafterhimjustso

Iwouldhaveahospitableenvironment.

Safaritiltedhisheadashelookedupatme,theleashstillinhismouth.Hisearsbentdownand

hereleasedaquietwhine.

“Iknow,”Iwhispered.“Ihatehimtoo.”

***

Mydogwasmypersonaltrainer.
HeyankedmedownthepathevenwhenIwantedtogoslow.Hewassostrongthathepulledme

along.SometimesIthoughthewaswalkingmeandnottheotherwayaround.

Ijoggedbehindhimandtriedtokeepup.“Safari,slowdown.”
Hekeptrunningatfullspeed.
Ikeptmypaceeventhoughtherewasastitchinmyside.Iwasbreathingthroughmymouththe

entiretimebecauseIwasdesperateforair.Mydogkeptmeingreatshapeandconstantlyreminded
mehowlazyIwasatthesametime.

Otherjoggerspassedusthroughthepark,andSafarididn’tsnifftheirbuttsorinterruptthem.He

didn’t even bark because I trained him so well. He minded his own business and did what he was
supposedto.

Exceptslowthehelldown.
Thiswastheonlyexercisehegotallday,andhedidn’ttakethatforgranted.Hecherishedevery

singlemoment,usinghispowerfullegstogivehimenoughspeedtofeelthewindmovethroughhis
fur.Hewasrunningevenfasternow.

AndIwasabouttodie.
“Whoa,slowdown.”Idugmyheelsintotheconcreteandpulledontheleash.
Safari stopped, but instead of slowing down, he turned around and grabbed the leash with his

mouth.Thenherippeditoutofmyhandviolently.

“Safari!”
Hesprintedatfullspeed,theleashstilldanglinginhismouth.
Whywaseveryonescrewingmeovertoday?
IchasedafterSafari,runningasfastasIcould,butsincewe’dalreadydoneafewmiles,mylegs

werefatigued.“Safari,getbackherenow!”

Heranfaraheadandpassedotherjoggersheadedmyway.Withoutsniffingattheotherdogshe

cameacross,hekeptgoing.Itwasn’tclearwhathewassodesperatetogetto.

“Safari!”
Hefinallystoppedrunningandswitchedtoabriskwalk.Hewasheadedrighttoamanrunning

wayahead.Withhisleashstillinhismouth,heranrightuptotheman,almostlikeheknewhim.

ThemanstoppedjoggingandlookeddownatSafari.Insteadoffrowning,hesmiled.“Hey,who

areyou?”

Istoppedrunningbecausemylegscouldn’tcarrymeanymore.Besides,Safariseemedtofinally

bestationary.SinceIwassofocusedongettingSafariback,Ihadn’tnoticedthemanheapproached.
AndnowthatItookagoodlookathim,Irealizedsomething.

Hewashooooot.
Like,damn.
He was over six feet tall. Since I was taller than the average woman, about five nine, tall men

weremypreference.Hewasatleastthreeinchestallerthanme,whichwasperfect.

On top of that, he was nicely built. He had large shoulders rounded with muscle. He wore a

short-sleeveshirt,andthedefinitionofhisbicepsandforearmswasnoticeable.Icouldevenseethe
webofveinsonhishands.

MaybeSafaritakingoffwasn’tsuchabadthing…

His shirt fit snug against his chest, showing the outline of his pectoral muscles. It was loose

aroundhiswaist,andtheratiobetweenhiswaistandshoulderswasperfect.Hislegsweremuscular
andtonedaswell.

Sopretty.
And his face was the best part. He had short dark brown hair with green eyes. They sparkled

underthesunlight,likeemeraldsthatIwantedtohoard.Hisfacewastraditionallyhandsomewithnice
cheekbones and full lips. The scruff along his chin and jaw was a turn-on. I preferred a little facial
hairoverthecleanlook.

Maybetodaywasabouttogetalotbetter.
HekneeleddownandscratchedSafaribehindtheears.“Youwantmetotakeyouonawalk?”he

askedwithachuckle.Hisimmediateaffectiontowardarandomdogtoldmehewasananimallover.

Evenbetter.
Iputmyhandsonmyhipsandbreathedthroughtheacheinmyside.“I’msosorry.Safariisabit

wildsometimes.”

Helookedupatme,andthesecondhedid,hissmilestretchedfromear-to-ear.Hehadniceteeth,

thekindyouwouldseeonamodel.Hiseyeswerethebestpart.Theywereprettytolookat,butthey
heldamysteriousenergy.Theychangedastheyexaminedme,butIcouldn’tfigureoutwhatthelook
meant.“Safari?Thenamesuitshim.”

“Alittletoowell,actually.”
HepattedSafariontheheadbeforeherosetohisfullheight.Hisearbudsweredanglingfrom

around his neck, and his t-shirt had the Seahawks logo on it. Judging by his lean build, he was an
activerunner.Butjudgingbythenicesizeofhismuscles,hewasalsoafrequentvisitortotheweight
room.“There’snoneedforanapology.Yourdogisfriendly.”

“Heis.”IgaveSafarialookthatsaidhewasintrouble.“Toofriendly.”
Hisearsbentdown.
Themanchuckled.“Howcanyoubemadatthisguy?He’sjustanadventurer.”
“Youcouldhavebeenadognapper.”
“Adognapper?”heasked.“Whowouldstealadog?”
“Idon’tknow…butitcouldhappen.”
HegrabbedtheleashfromSafari’smouththenhandeditover.“Sorry,boy.MaybeIcangiveyou

awalksomeothertime.”

Itooktheleashfromhim,andwhenourhandswereincontact,Inoticedtheheatradiatingfrom

hisbody.Itwasnice.Wakingupinhisarmswouldbeagreatwaytostartarainymorning.“Sorry
again.Wedidn’tmeantointerruptyourrun.”

“It’sokay,”hesaid.“Iwasprettyboredanyway.”
When I realized I was fidgeting with Safari’s leash, I forced myself to stop. Handsome men

didn’tmakemeuneasyveryoften.Myconfidencewasalwayshighnomatterhowhottheywere.But
thisguygotundermyskinalittlebit.

“I’mRyker,bytheway.”
Evenhisnamewashot.I’dneverheardthatonebefore.“Rae.”
“Rae.”Herepeatedthenamelikehewastryingtomemorizeit.“Rayoflight?”
“Ithinkso.”
“Youdon’tknow?”heasked.
Unfortunately,no.“Thanksforbeingsonicetomydog.I’llletyougetbacktoyourjog.”
He eyed me like I hadn’t said anything. “Want to walk to Pike Place Market? It’s just a block

over.”

Was this beautiful man asking me out? I hid my squeal and acted cool. “Sure. I have a feeling

SafariwilljustrunafteryouagainifItrytowalkaway.”

“Imustsmell.”Herealizedwhathesaidwhenitwastoolate.“Imean,Imustsmellgood.”
Ipressedmylipstightlytogetherandtriednottolaugh.
Rykershruggedandlaughedallthesame.“Okay…thatcameoutwrong.”
Icouldn’tholdbackmylaughter.“Yeah…alittle.”

***

“HowoldisSafari?”Rykerstuffedhisearbudsintohispocketandwalkedbesidemethroughthe

market.

“Five.”
“He’sagood-lookingdog.”
“Thankyou.He’smybestfriend.”
“Really?”heasked.
“Well,Ihavetwohumanbestfriendstoo.IftheyknewSafariwasmybestbestfriend,theywould

getjealous…soIdon’tmentionit.”

Rykersmiled.Itwasthekindoflookthatturnedallwomenintoputty.Myovariesscreamedfrom

deepinsidemybody,needinghisperfectgenestomakethecutestbabyintheworld.“Yoursecretis
safewithme.”

“Thankyou.Doyouhaveadog?”
“No,notyet.Maybesoon.”
“Startwithaplant,”Isaid.“They’reeasiertotakecareof.”
“Safaridoesn’tseemsobad…whenhe’snotrunningawayfromyou.”
Ilaughedatthememory.“He’sneverdonethatbefore.Itwasreallystrange.”
“LikeIsaid,Ismell.”Hesmiledagain,hiseyesglowingashedid.
Ichuckled.Ilovedhissenseofhumor.Hewasextremelygood-lookingbutdidn’ttakehimself

seriously.HumilitywasanotherqualityIlikedinaman.“Seahawksfan?”

“Theirnumberonefan.”
“Really?”
“Youaren’t?”heaskedinsurprise.
“Iadmiretheirfanbaseandthinkit’sgreatsomanypeoplegetinvolved,butno,theyaren’tmy

favoriteteam.”

Hetookanexaggeratedstepofftotheside.“Thisisawkward…”
IkeptmyhandonSafari’sleashandtriednottosmile.“Wecanstillbefriends,right?”
Hekepthisdistance.“Idon’tknow…”
“Comeon,let’sputourdifferencesaside.”
“They’reprettybigdifferences.”
“Peoplehaveovercomeworse.”
Henoddedinagreement.“Okay…Iguessthat’strue.”Hecamebacktomysideandkeptwalking.

“I’llbeyourfriend.”

“Thanks.”
He put his hands in his pockets and came closer to me, his arm brushing against my shoulder

everyfewseconds.“Livehereyourwholelife?”

“Yep.You?”
“Ijustmovedhereafewweeksago.”
“Oh,really?”Iasked.“Fromwhere?”
“Manhattan.”
“That’safarmove.”
“Andanannoyingone.”

“Whatbringsyouhere?”
“I’mstartinganewjob.”Hedidn’tsoundtooenthusedbytheprospect.Hewasmorepassionate

abouttheSeahawksasecondago.

“Whatlineofworkareyouin?”
“I’m taking over the family business.” He brushed over it quickly like he didn’t want to talk

aboutittoomuch.“Nothingtoointeresting.ButIwishI’dbecomeadogtrainerinstead.Apparently,I
haveaknackforit.”

“Safarimaylikeyou,butthatdoesn’tmeanyoucouldtrainhim.He’sstubbornsometimes.”
“Ifindthathardtobelieve.”
“Hetakesupthewholebedeverynight.Andhe’sablankethogger.”
Rykergrinnedfromear-to-ear.“Yousleepwithhimeverynight?”
“Prettymuch.”
“Hmm…thatmustmeanyoudon’thaveaboyfriend.”
IkeptmyeyesonSafariandtriednottoreactvisibly.Theschoolgirlinsidemewantedtosmile

and giggle. My cheeks wanted to blush beet red. Somehow, I managed to come off pleased but not
obsessive.“No,Idon’t.”

“Interesting.”
“IdumpedmylastboyfriendbecausehebecameaSeahawkfanthough.”
“Ohno,”hesaidwithacringe.“LookslikeIdon’tstandachancethen.”
Icouldn’tdisagreemore.
Myphonevibratedinmypocket,soIdiscreetlycheckedit.ItwasatextmessagefromCameron.
I’llpickyouupatseven?Isthatokay?Ican’twaittoseeyou.I’vebeenthinkingaboutthisdate

allweek.

My eyes widened to orbs, and I quickly shoved my phone back into my pocket. Goddammit, I

forgotaboutthatdate.JessiearrangeditformeeventhoughIdidn’twanttogoonittobeginwith.

“Everythingalright?”Rykerasked.
“Yeah,groovy.”WasIahippienow?
We continued walking through the market and making small talk. I learned Ryker was a big

sportsfan.Anythingthatinvolvedaballorapuckhadhisattention.HeseemedlikeasportsguysoI
wasn’tsurprised.

Hecheckedthewatchonhiswrist.“It’sgettinglate,andI’mdonewithmycardiofortheday.”
“Yeah.”Ihadtogetreadyforastupiddate.
“Myapartmentisjustablockover.”Hestoppedwalkingandfacedmehead-on.Hisemeraldeyes

boreintomine,havingthatcuttingedgeagain.Theywerefullofmysterybutalsoalotmore.Itwould
besoeasytofallintothoseeyesandnevercomebackupforair.“Whydon’tthetwoofyoucome
over?”

Thatdidn’tsoundlikeadate.Itsoundedlikeaninvitationtosex.One-nightstandsweren’tnewto

me,butIdidn’tdothemveryoften.JudgingbyRyker ’slooksandmoves,hehadnoproblemlanding
afuckbuddyinthirtyminutes.Heprobablydiditallthetime.

Iwasreallyintohim,andsharingabedwithahunkymanlikehimforthenightsoundedlikea

treatIdesperatelyneeded.Wehadn’tkissed,butIcouldtellitwouldbeprettydamnfantastic.

JustwhenIwasabouttosayyes,Irealizedsomething.“Actually,Ican’t.”Isighedinirritation

becauseIwasmissingoutonsexwithahotguybecauseofJessie.

“Oh.”Hekeptthedispleasureoffhisface,buthecouldn’tkeepitoutofhiseyes.“Haveplans?”
“Uh, I have a date.” Cameron was a nice guy and good-looking, but he was so forward that it

drovemecrazy.HewasalwaystellingmehowprettyIwas,andhelaughedateveryjokeevenifit
wasn’t funny. There was just no mystery there. But I couldn’t blow off a date at the last minute just

becauseImetsomeonebetter.AndIdefinitelycouldn’thavesexwithoneguythengoonadatewith
anotherguytwohourslater.One-nightstandswerefine,butifIdidthat,I’dbeastraight-upslut.

“Badtiming,Iguess.”
Iwaitedforhimtoaskmeoutforanothertime,perhapstomorroworthisweekend.
Buthedidn’t.“Itwasnicemeetingyou,Rae.”
Thatwasit?Wecouldn’tgooutforadrinksomeothertime?“Youtoo,Ryker.Maybewecango

out some other time.” Even though I wanted to see him again, I kept my eagerness back. Being too
forwardwasaturnoff.IquicklylearnedthatfromCameron.

“Maybe.”HepattedSafarionthehead.“Seeyouaround,boy.”Hegavemeafinallookbeforehe

walkedoffandheadedintothecrowd.

Istoodtherewiththeleashinmyhand,totallybummedoutthatImissedoutonsomethinggreat.

Heseemedtolikeme,sowhydidn’theaskmeout?Itwaseithernowornever?

But if he wasn’t willing to see me some other time, then he probably wasn’t worth my time

anyway.Iwasokaywithbeingsingle,unlikemostwomen,butIwastiredoffallingforalltheselfish
jerksandnotcaringaboutthesweet,goodones.

Whatwasupwiththat?

ChapterTwo

Rae
Cameronstaredatmeforanentireminutewithoutblinking.Hiseyesweregluedtomine,and

notinaromantic,intenseway.Inastraightupcreepyway.“You’resopretty.”

IgrippedthemenujustsoIhadsomethingtodo.“Thankyou.”Ilookeddownattheselections

eventhoughIknewwhatIwasgoingtoorder.PerhapsifIignoredhimlongenough,hewouldstop
staringatmelikeIwasahiddentreasure.Theheatfromhisgazestillburnedmyskin,soIlookedup.

“Youmustgethitonallthetime.”
Getting a compliment was always nice, but this excessive infatuation was getting annoying. He

neverhadanythingtosayunlesshewascommentingonmyappearance.“Uh,Iwouldn’tsaythat.”

“You’rejustbeinghumble.”Hegrabbedthemenubutdidn’tlookatit.Hiseyeswerereserved

forme.

What the hell was Jessie thinking setting me up with him? “Do you like being a firefighter?

FromwhatIhear,itsoundsprettythrilling.”Maybeachangeofsubjectwouldmakethisnightalittle
lessuncomfortable.

“Itcanbe,”hesaid.“Butmostofthetime,wejustsitaroundinthefirehouse.Duetotherain,we

don’thavemanyfires.”

“Butfirefightersdootherstufftoo,right?”
“Yeah.Wegetcalledouttoaccidentsfromtimetotime.Buteventhatisrare.”
IhadafeelingthetopichadbeenexhaustedbutIwantedtokeepitgoingsoitwouldn’treturnto

me.“Doyoueverdrivethefiretruck?”

“Sometimes.”
“Thatmustbeawildride.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I like turning on the lights and speeding through all the intersections. Wish I

coulddothatallthetime.”

“Don’tweall,”Isaidwithafakechuckle.
“Didyouknowthefiretruckdoesn’trequireakey?”
Ishookmyhead.
“Youjustpressabuttononthedashboard.”
“Really?”Iasked.“Doesn’tthatmeansomeonecouldstealit?”
Hegrinned.“Don’ttellanyoneItoldyouthat.”
Whenhewasn’tbeingobsessive,hewasactuallyinteresting.Insteadoffocusingonme,heput

thespotlightonhimselfandrevealedmoreofhisdepth.“I’llkeepyoursecret.”

The waiter came to our table and took our drink order. I ordered a glass of wine but wished I

couldgetafewshotsinstead.Thedatinggamewasexhaustingafterawhile.NowwhenIwentona
date, I prepared for the worst rather than the best. When we placed our dinner order, Cameron
orderedforbothofus.

“Mybeautifuldatewillhavethechickenpiccata.”
Ugh.
“I’llputtheorderinforyou,sir.”Thewaitertookthemenusthenattendedtotheothertables.
Howlongwouldittakehimtobringthewine?
Ineededwine—now.
“Didyoueverconsidermodeling?”Cameronaskedwithoutpreamble.Hejustblurteditoutlike

wehadjustbeentalkingaboutit.

“No…”Igotmymaster ’sinchemistryandplayedcollegebasketball.IfIhaditmyway,Iwould

onlywearjeansandahoodie.Igrewupatomboy,andIwillalwaysbeatomboydeepdowninside.
“Cameron,Imeanthisinthebestwaypossible,butcouldyoubealittlelessforward?”Sayingthat

wouldmaketheeveningawkward,butwhatever,italreadywasawkward.

“Forward?”heasked.“Whatdoyoumean?”
“It’sjust…whenyouconstantlycommentonmyappearance,itmakesmealittleuncomfortable.”
“Oh.”Ablanklookwasonhisface,likehehadnoideawhatIwasreferringto.
“Youknow,sayingI’mprettyandstufflikethat.”
“Well…Ithinkyou’repretty,”hesaidwithashrug.“Don’tgirlslikestufflikethat?”
“Ofcourse,”Isaid.“Buteverythinginmoderation,right?”
He leaned back in his chair and had a sour look on his face. “I didn’t realize it made you

uncomfortable.”

“IguessI’malittleself-consciousaboutmyappearance.”
“Why?”heblurted.“You’reaperfectten.”
Iwaslikingthislessandless.“Notoncehaveyoushownanyinterestinmepersonally.Youdon’t

careaboutmyinterests,myhobbies,oranythingelse.Maybeyou’relookingforarelationshipbased
onphysicalappearancebutI’mnot.”

Herolledhiseyesfromacrossthetable.
“I’msorry,”Isaidsarcastically.“AmIannoyingyou?”
“I’mjusttryingtobeaniceguy,andthenyousnapatme.”
“Ididn’tsnap.Ijustaskedyoutostoprepeatingyourselflikeadamnparrot.”
Hiseyesnarrowedonmyface.Theysmolderedlikecoalscomingtoablaze.“Fine.Youwantme

totellyouthatyou’reugly?”

“Nowyou’rejustactinglikeachild.”
“Andyou’rebeingrude.”
“Me?” I asked incredulously. “How would you feel if I kept saying how hot you were all the

time?”

Hegrinnedlikeafool.
“Nevermind,”Isaidquickly.
“Look,I’mjustreallyattractedtoyou.Isitthatbigofadeal?”
Itriedtorememberhiscomplimentscamefromagoodplace.Hedidn’tcommentonmychest

oranythingelseperverse,soitreallywasn’tthatbad.PerhapshiswordsbotheredmebecauseIwasn’t
attractedtohiminthesameway.IwonderedwhatmyreactionwouldhavebeenifRykersaidallof
thattome.Ihadafeelingitwouldbemuchdifferent.“You’reright.Iapologize.”

“AndIacceptyourapology.”
“Great.”Ifidgetedwithmyhandsinmylapandfeltthetensionsettleintheroom.Itburnedthe

backofmyneckandmademefeelaconstanttwingeofanxiety.

Wherewerethosedrinks?
Thewaiterfinallybroughtmywineandhisbeer.Isnatcheditfromhimquicklyandtookalong

drink,needingabuzztogetthroughtherestofthenight.NowIwishI’djusttakenRyker ’sofferand
joinedhiminhisapartment.Thesexwouldhavebeengreat,andIwouldbesatisfiedrightnow.

***

Cameronwalkedmetomydoor,andbeforeIcouldevensaygoodnightorreachformykeys,

hewasalloverme.Hepushedmeagainstthedoorandcrushedhismouthtomine.Whenhekissed
me, it wasn’t in an aggressive or sexy way. His tongue practically licked my face before it stuffed
itselfinsidemymouth.

Igaspedforair.“Whatareyoudoing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” He shoved his tongue into my mouth again, and slobber

actuallydrippeddownmychin.Howhetransferredsomuchsalivaintomymouththatquicklywas
beyondmyunderstanding.

Ipushedhimawaythenwipedmymouth.“Thankyoufordinner.I’mturninginforthenight.”
Camerondidn’tmaskhisdisappointment.“HowaboutIjoinyou?”
Did he just invite himself into my apartment? “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Good night.” I

slippedmykeyinthedoor.Forthefirsttimeinmylife,Iwasgratefulmybrotherwaslivingwithme.
IfIneededhelp,hewasthere.

“Comeon.”Cameroncameclosertome.“WhatcanIdotochangeyourmind?”
“Nothing.Mybrotherishere.”
“Heliveswithyou?”heaskedinsurprise.
“Yeah.Andhe’sveryprotectiveofme,soyoushouldgo.”
Hesteppedbackslightly.“Youcanalwayscometomyplace.”
Wouldthisdatejustend?“Ihavetogetupearlyinthemorning.Goodnight,Cameron.”Ifinally

gotthedooropenandquicklyshutitbehindme.Afterthedoorwaslockedandthechainwashooked
inplace,Ibreathedasighofrelief.

That’swhenInoticedthesoundofmoaningcomingfromthelivingroom.
IwalkedinandsawRexsittingonthecouchwatchingporn.Hewasfullyclothed,andhisarms

were over the back of the couch. The scene was right on my TV screen. “What the hell are you
doing?”

HeflinchedwhenherealizedIwasthere.“What?”
“Whyareyousodisgusting?”
“It’snotlikeI’mtouchingmyself.”
“Thenwhyareyouwatchingit?”
Heshrugged.“It’ssoothing.”
Iwantedtoripmyhairoutofmyskullandscreamatthetopofmylungs.
“Besides,Ithoughtyouwouldbegoneallnight.Didn’tyouhaveadate?”
“Yes,butitwasterrible.”ThescenestillplayedontheTV,andbothactorswerebreathinghard

andmoaningliketheywerehavingthebesttimeoftheirlives.“Canyouturnthatoffnow?”

“Why?It’sjustporn.”
“Andit’smyTV.Watchitinyourroom.”
Herolledhiseyesandturneditoff.“There.Canyouchilloutnow?”
I threw my purse on the table and didn’t retrieve my phone from inside it. I didn’t want any

furthercontactforthenight.AllIwantedtodowasgotobedandforgetthisdayeverhappened.

***

I was a researcher for COLLECT recycling company. My job was to decrease the amount of

waste being deposited into our landfills by creating products that were either recyclable or
biodegradable. Environmental science had always been my forte, and to say I was passionate about
myjobwasanunderstatement.

ThefirstyearIstartedworkinghere,Ireducedtheamountofwastebyfivepercent.Thatmight

notsoundlikeabignumber,butoverthecourseoftheyear,itwasthousandsoftonsofgarbage.

Mostpeopledidn’tthinktwiceaboutthegarbagetheyputintotheirwastecansorwhereitwent,

butitwasaseriousproblem.IknewIcouldn’tfixeveryissuewecameacross,butIdidmybestto
makeadifference.

Right then, I was working on biodegradable food storage packages. Egg cartons, deli meat

containers,orangejuicejugs,andeverythingelsethatAmericansboughtonadailybasis.IfIcould
figureoutawaytomakeitcompletelydegradable,itwouldberevolutionaryinwastemanagement.

Butthatwasn’tsomethingIwouldfigureoutovernight.
Jennycametomyworkbench,wearingherwhitelabcoatwithoutherprotectivegoggles.“Did

youhearthenews?”

Ipausedtheexperimentinsidethechemicalhoodandputthespecimensdown.AfterIpulledoff

mynitrogenglovesandtossedthemaside,Ilookedather.“Whatnews?”

“Mr.Priceisretiring.”
Mr.PricewastheCEOofthecompany.Hebuiltitataveryyoungageandhadruniteversince.

Hewasgettingold,andIsuspectedhishealthwaspoorjudgingbythewayhesometimeswalked,but
Iwasn’texpectingthis.“Heis?”

Shenodded.“Ican’tsayI’msurprisedthough.He’sprettyold.”
Mr.PricewasoneofthegreatestbossesIeverworkedfor.Hewasgenerousandcompassionate.

EventhoughIdidn’tseehimoften,Ilovedbeinginhispresence.HewaslikethefatherIneverhad.
“That’stoobad.”

“Yeah.”
“Howdidyoufindout?”
“They’resendingmemostoallthedepartments.Myfriendinaccountingtoldme.”
ItwouldbeweirdnothavingMr.Pricearound.Whowouldtakeover?Whatwouldtheybelike?

WouldIstillhaveajob?“Isthecompanybeingsold?”

“No.ButI’mquittinganyway.”
“You’requitting?”Itookoffmygoggles.“Butyouloveithere.”
“Iknow,”shesaidwithasigh.“It’sgoingtobehardtoleavethisplace.ButI’mnotputtingup

withtheplayboythat’stakingMr.Price’splace.”

“Playboy?”Iasked.
“His son is taking over the company. From what I hear, he’s some rich asshole that’s never

workedadayinhislife.HegraduatedfromHarvardthenlivedoffDaddy’sinvestmentsuntilhewas
askedtostepup.There’snowayinhellI’mdealingwithsomejerklikethat.”

“Butyouhaven’tevenmethim…”
“I’veheardenough.”
“And would Mr. Price put his son in charge if he didn’t think he would be successful?” I was

usuallythevoiceofreasonbetweenJennyandme.

“Parentsarealwaysblindwhenitcomestotheirkids.”
“Maybe you should stick around and see how it goes first. If he’s really that lazy, he probably

won’tchangeanything.”

“Orhe’llcutalloursalariessohepocketsmoreofthedough.”
“Again…you’reconjecturinghere.”
She raised both hands in frustration. “It’s never going to be the same. Everything here was so

great,andI’mnotwillingtoseeitchange.”

“Justdon’tbehasty.Giveitachancebeforeyousubmityourresignation.Andifnot,atleastwait

untilyoufindanotherjob.”

Shecrossedherarmsoverherchest.
“Jenny,everythingwillbefine.Nowtakeadeepbreath.”
SherolledhereyesbutdidasIsaid.
“Let’stakeitonedayatatime—together.”

ChapterThree

Rae
Ifoundthegirlssittingatatableinthebar.“Ihaveabonetopickwithyou.”
Jessie’sfacelitupwhenshesawme,andthealcoholshe’dconsumedhadturnedhercheeksred.

“Lookwho’shere!Rayoflight!”

Idroppedintothechairandglaredather.
“Howwasyourdate?”Kaydenasked,completelyoblivioustomypissedlook.
Jessiethrewherhandsintheairlikeitwastimetoparty.“You’rewelcome,girl.Ibetherocked

yourworldgood.”

Jessie was only fun when she was drunk when I was also drunk. “Cameron was terrible. How

couldyousetmeupwithhim?”

“Terrible?”Jessieasked.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
I started to imitate him. “You’re so beautiful. Do you know how pretty you are? Man, you’re

gorgeous.”Irolledmyeyessoharditactuallyhurtthefrontofmyfacealittlebit.“Doesheknow
howtosayanythingelse?”

Kaydenheldapinkcosmoinherhand.“Soundssweettome.”
“Itwassweet—whenhesaiditthefirsttime.Butthenhekeptrepeatingitoverandover.Iwanted

toshovecrackersdownhisthroattomakeitstop.”

Jessielaughedandbittheoliveoffhertoothpick.“Thereareworsethings.”
“Hewassodesperate,”Isaid.“AndthenwhenIaskedhimtostop,heturneditintoanordeal—”
Jessieraisedherhandtosilenceme.“You’resopickywhenitcomestoguys.Ifyoujusthadan

openmind,maybeyou’dfindsomeoneyoureallylike.Ifyoukeepcuttingthemouteverytimethey
doonelittlething,you’regoingtodiealone.”

“Ihaven’tevengottentotheworstpartyet.”Icrossedmyarmsovermychest.
“Ooh…thissoundsgood.”Kaydendownedtherestofherdrink.
“When we got to my door, he shoved me against it and decided to play Operation with his

tongue.Hestuckhistongueeverywhere,anditevenwentupmynose.”

Kaydencringed.“Eww!”
“Gross,”Jessiesaid.
“Slobberactuallydrippedoffmychinandfellonthefloor.Ihearditsplash.”Itwastheworst

makeoutsessionIeverhad,andI’dbeentosixthgradecamp.“Hewastheworstkisserever,andhe
actedlikeitwassomeofhisbeststuff.Idon’tcareifhe’sahotfirefighter.Thatguyisonecleverly
disguisedfreak.”

“Wow…”Jessieabandonedherdrink,clearlynotthirstyanymore.“Damn,thatdoessoundbad.”
Kaydenshivered.“Sogross.”
“So,I’mnotseeinghimagain.”Ishotthembothaglare.“Andit’snotbecauseI’mpicky.”
“Wehearya,”Jessiesaid.
“Weacceptyourdecision,”Kaydensaid.
I massaged the back of my neck because I felt a kink coming on. “So, what’s new with you

guys?”

“IheardCOLLECTisgettinganewshowrunner,”Jessiesaid.
“What?”Iblurted.“Howdidyouknowaboutthat?”
“Ireaditinthepaper.AndIhavetosay,thenewguyisH-O-T.”
“Heis?”Jennynevermentionedthat.
“Yeah,”Jessiesaid.“Helookedhotinthephotograph.Atleastyou’llhavesomeoneprettytotake

ordersfrom.”

“Ijusthopehe’snotasterribleasmycoworkermadeitsound,”Isaid.

Jessieshrugged.“Itdidn’treallysayanythinginthearticle,butfromwhatI’velearned,anyone

whogrowsupwithmoneyisusuallyabitofajerk.Self-madebillionairesarethehumbleones.”

“True,”Kaydensaid.Herlong,blondehairwasinbigcurlsandtraileddownoveroneshoulder.

Hersparklingblueeyesmadeherlooklikeaporcelaindoll.

“Whendoesheofficiallystartworking?”Jessieasked.
I shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. In the research lab, we don’t usually deal with anyone

besideseachother.So,whetherhe’sgoodorbad,Iprobablywon’thavetodealwithhimmuch.”

“Unlessyou’rescrewing,”Jessiesaid.
Ishotheraglare.“Iwouldneversleepwithmyboss—nomatterhowgood-lookinghewas.”
“Iwould,”Jessiesaid.“That’showhotthisguyis.”
“Ineedtoseehimformyself,”Kaydensaid.“Idon’tgettoomanylookersinthelibrary.”
“Becauseit’sthelibrary,”Jessiejabbed.“Getoutandlivealittle.”
Kaydenraisedheremptyglass.“Thankyouverymuch.”

***

WhenIcamehomefromwork,ZekeandRexwerethere.
“Ican’tbelievehe’sbackintown.”Zeke’svoicecamefromthelivingroom.“Wehaven’tseen

thatguyin…atleasttenyears.”

“Iknow,right?”Rexsaid.“Thesecondhegraduated,hetookoff.Wantedtogetasfarawayfrom

thisplaceaspossible.”

“Whatareyouguystalkingabout?”Isetmypurseonthecounterthengrabbedabeerfromthe

fridge.

“Ugh,”Rexsaid.“Themonsterishere.”
“Themonsterwasabouttobringyouanotherbeer,butforgetitnow.”
Rexquicklychangedhismind.“Imean,thegreatestlittlesistereverishere.”Hemadehisvoice

high-pitched.“Yay.”

“Better.”Iwalkedintothelivingroomandhandedhimthebottle.
Zeke’seyesfollowedmyeverymovement.“Hey,Rae.How’sitgoing?”
“Good.”
“How’dthatdatego?”Zeketookadrinkofhisbeer.
“Horrible.”Isatonthecouchbesidehimandrelaxedintothecushions.Inthelab,Iwasonmy

feetalldaylong.WheneverIsatdown,myassactuallyfelthappy.

“Thatbad?”Zekewastechnicallymybrother ’sfriend,buthewasmyfriendtoo.
“Hespitinmymouth.Let’sputitthatway.”Iwasstillbrushingmyteethvigorouslytogetallthat

spitoutofmymouth.

Rex’s face contorted into a look I’d never seen before. He looked disgusted but curious at the

sametime.“You’resayingheliterallyspitinyourmouth?”

“Prettymuch.”Itookalongdrinkofthebeertogetridofthetastethatstilllingeredfarbehind.
“Howwouldthatevenhappen?”Zekeasked.“Imean,youjuststoodtherewithyourmouthopen

andlethim?”

“Yeah?”Rexasked.“Wasitlikeagameofdarts?”
“No!”Theirimaginationalwaystookdangerousroads.“Attheendofthedate,hewentforthe

goodnightkissanditturnedintohimdrowningmewithhismouth.God,itwasdisgusting.”

“So,youjustpushedhimoff,andthatwasit?”Zekeasked.
“Hewantedtocomeinsideandscrew,”Isaid.“ButItoldhimtotakeahike.Ifhekisseslikethat,

imaginehowheisinbed.”Ishiveredatthethought.

“IwonderwhyJessiesetyouupwithhim?”Zekeasked.
“Idon’thaveadamnclue,”Isaid.“I’mnotsureifsheevenhadaconversationwithhim—ever.

HeprobablyjusttoldherhethoughtIwascuteandsheplayedcupid.”

“Well,sheshouldkeepherdayjob,”Rexsaid.“She’snotverygoodatmatchmaking.”
IturnedtoZeke.Hewasmybrother ’sbestfriend,soheunderstoodjusthowannoyingRexwas.

“WhenIcamehome,Rexwaswatchingporninthelivingroom.Canyoubelievethat?”

ZekegaveRexadisgustedlook.“Youwerebeatingoffeventhoughyouknewyoursisterwas

cominghome?”

“Hellno,”Rexsaid.“Iwasjustwatchingit.Youknow,forthesurroundsound.”
“Oh.”Zekenoddedinunderstanding.“NowIgetit.”
“What?”Iwasabouttotakeadrinkofmybeerbutstopped.“Yougetit?”
“Itdoesn’tsoundthesameonacomputer,”Zekesaid.“Ifyouhavetherightspeakers,youreally

getthefulleffect.”

Menweregross.
“Right?”Rexsaid.“YouwatchitonyourTVtoo?”
“WhenI’msingle,”Zekesaid.
“Exactly,”Rexsaid.“TheTVisbetter.”
“Butit’smyTV,”Iargued.“Don’tforgetyoulivewithmerightnow.”
“HowcouldI?”Heshotmeaglarebeforehetookadrinkofhisbeer.
“Zeke,whydon’tyoutakehim?”Ipoutedmylipsandpleadedwithmyeyes.
Zekeshookhishead.“Hell.No.IfIdid,wewouldn’tbefriendsanymore.”
“Hey.”Rexgavehimanoffendedlook.“Brosbeforehoes,dude.”
“I’mjustbeinghonest,”Zekesaid.“Wouldbroslietoeachother?”
Rexlookedawaywhenhedidn’thaveacomeback.
Zeketurnedbacktome.“We’regoingtoplayball.Youwantin?”
“Don’tinviteher,”Rexsaid.“She’ssuchapainonthecourt.”
“Amnot,”Iargued.“YoujustthinkI’mapainbecauseI’mbetterthanallofyou.”
“Youfouleveryonelikecrazy,”Rexargued.
“No,Idon’t,”Isaid.“IshovethemoutofthewayjustthewayLeBrondoes,butyougivemeshit

foritbecauseI’magirl.”

“Iwanthertoplay,”Zekesaid.“Shecanbeonmyteam.”
“Youmean,youcanbeonmyteam,”Isaid.
Zekeglaredatme.“Hey,ifitweren’tforme,youwouldn’tbeplayingballatall.”
“See?”Rexsaid.“Itoldyoumysisterisapainintheass.IprefertocallherSAID.”
ThisnicknamewasthestupidestoneI’deverheard.Hekeptitbetweenus,butitseemedlikehe

wasgoingtoincludeZekeintheknownow.

“SAID?”Zekeasked.“DoIwanttoknow?”
“Itmeansstupid,annoying,irritating,anddumb.”Rextappedhisfingeragainsthisheadlikehe

wasbeingclever.

Zeke bottled his laugh and didn’t let it escape because I was sitting right there. He covered his

mouthwithhislips,buthischestheavedafewtimeslikehewastryingtokeepitin.

“It’sgreat,huh?”Rexsaid.“Icangeteverythingoutwithjustasingleword.Savesmesomuch

time.”

“That’sironic,”Isaid.“BecauseIhaveanicknameforyoutoo.”
“Yeah?” Rex asked. “Coolest guy in the world? Everyone calls me that so it doesn’t really

count.”

“Whatisit?”Zekeasked.
“HPOS,”Isaid.
Zekeraisedaneyebrow.“Whatdoesthatmean?”

IgaveRexatriumphantlook.“Homelesspieceofshit.”

***

Wewalkeddownthestreettothelocalcourtsjustafewblocksover.Schoolhadgottenoutlong

agosowehopedthereweren’tanykidshoggingit.Otherwise,we’dhavetoplaywiththemlikelast
time.

Rex tried spinning the ball on his forefinger. “How does Michael Jordan do it?” The ball kept

fallingoversidewaysandhehadtosteadyit.

“First off,” I said. “He knows how to play basketball. Second of all, he has manly hands. You

havelittlefairyhands.”

Rexthrewtheballatmyshoulder,andhecaughtitwhenitbouncedback.“Turd.”
“Isthatsupposedtostandforsomething?”Iaskedsarcastically.
“Nope,”Rexsaid.“Themeaningisimplied.”
We rounded the corner then reached the courts. They were blocked by a metal fence and were

situatedbetweentwoapartmentbuildings.Ifeltbadforwhoeverlivedthere.

“Afewofmyfriendsareplayingwithus,”Rexsaid.
“Iknow.”Irolledmyeyes.“I’vemetthemallbefore.”
“Well,mybuddyfromNewYorkisheretoo.Hejustmovedback.ZekeandIhaven’tseenhimin

ages.”

Ididn’tcareforhisbiography.“Isheanygood?”
“Definitely,”Zekesaid.“Weplayedbasketballwithhiminhighschool.”
Theairwascoldoutsideandtheskywasovercast.Itlookedlikerainbutwehopeditdidn’t.The

sweatpantsandsweaterIworeweren’twater-resistant.We’dplayedintherainbeforeanditwasfine,
butIgotsickafterward.

“Yo.”RexgreetedTobywithahigh-five.“What’sgoingon,man?”
“Nothingmuch,”hesaid.“Justreadytokickyourass.”
“Ha.”Rexclappedhimontheshoulder.“Goodone.”Heturnedtotheotherguy,blockedfrom

my view by Rex’s shoulders. “Oh my god, look who’s all grown up.” He embraced him with a fist
bumpthensteppedback.

WhenRexmovedoutoftheway,Igotalookathim.Myeyesimmediatelyregisteredhisfacial

featuresandthebrightcolorofhiseyes.Hisdarkhairwasshortandslightlycurlyattheends.His
expansiveshouldersfilledouthist-shirt,andhismuscularlegswerejustthesameastheywerethe
otherday.

ItwasRyker.
Whenhewalkedawayfromme,Ithoughtwewouldneverseeeachotheragain.Butsomehow,

ourpathshadcrossedoncemore.Myheartflutteredinmychestandformedwingslikeabutterfly.
Eventhoughhewalkedawayfrommewithoutaskingmeout,IstillfelttheheatinmycorewhenI
lookedathim.

“Dude,how’veyoubeen?”Rexasked.
“Great,”Rykersaid.“It’snicetobebackhome.”
Rextuckedtheballunderhisarm.“You’refullofshit.”
Rykersmiledwhenhe’dbeencaught.“Okay.I’mnotabigfanofSeattle.”
“Thenwhyareyouhere?”Rexasked.
“Dadneededmyhelpwiththebusiness.”Withoutevensayingit,itwasclearhewantednothing

todowithhisjob.Hewasbeingforced.“Andyoucan’tturnyourbackonfamily,right?”

“Never.”Rexturnedmyway.“Speakingofwhich,here’smyannoyingsister,Rae.”
Myeyesmethis,andanunspokenconversationpassedbetweenus.Judgingbytheslightsurprise

inhiseyes,heneverexpectedtoseemeagain.Hedidn’tlookpleasedordisappointed.

RykerrecoveredfromtheshockquickerthanIdid.Hesteppedclosertome,toweringoverme

withhisheight.Aslightsmilewasonhislips,alongwiththescruffthathadbeentherejustafewdays
ago.“It’snicetoseeyouagain.”

“Youtoo.”
“Where’sSafari?”
“Athome.He’llchasetheballacrossthecourtifIbringhim.”
“Uh…what?”Rexeyedusbackandforth.“Youknoweachother?”
“Weranintoeachotherinthepark,”Rykersaidcalmly.“Safariwantedtocomehomewithme.”
Ididtoo.
Rykerstaredhardintomyeyes,likehewastryingtolookforsomething.“How’dthatdatego?”
“Terrible.”
“Yeah?”heasked.“Wastheguyapsychopath?”
“Justasloppykisser.”
Ryker chuckled then stepped back. “Those are the worst.” He turned to Zeke then greeted him.

“You’vereallycakedonthemuscle,man.”

“Igotintoweightliftingincollege.”Zekewasn’taswarmtohisoldfriendasIthoughthewould

be.Hehardlygavehimahandshakebeforehesteppedback.“Let’sgetthegamestarted.”

Rykerraisedaneyebrowslightlybutquicklybrusheditoff.
“Alright,”Rexsaid.“Idon’tcarehowtheteamsworkout,butI’mnotonmysister ’steam.”
“She’splayingwithus?”Rykeraskedinsurprise.
Thetensionsuddenlyfellonallofus,anditwaspalpable.
Rexrubbedhistempleinirritation.“Man,youshouldn’thavesaidthat…”
I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a venomous glare. “Why is that surprising?

BecauseI’mawoman?”

Rykerknewhesaidthewrongthing.“No,that’snotwhatImeant.”
“Thenwhatdidyoumean,exactly?”
ZeketooktheballfromRexthendribbleditbetweenhislegs.“Raeisthebestplayeroutofallof

us.Sowatchyourself.”

Rykerplayeditcoolandhidhisthoughtsbehindhiseyes.“Inthatcase,Iwanttobeonherteam.”
RexleanedtowardRykerandloweredhisvoicetoawhisper.“Goodsave…”
“Let’splay,”Isaid.“I’mdonewiththechitchat.”

***

RykerwasagoodballplayerlikeIexpectedhimtobe.
ButIwasbetter.
Iwasquickeronthecourt,andIhadmorecontrolovertheball.Andjustlikemyman,Stephen

Curry,Icoulddownthosethree-pointerswithease.WheneverRexblockedme,hewasforceful.He
didn’tcareaboutgivingmeahardshoveorthrowinghisshoulderinmyface.Iplayedhardandso
didhe.WheneverZekewasonme,healwayskepthisdistance.Herefrainedfromtouchingmeatall
costs. Even though my brother knocked me around, Zeke still treated me like I was fragile. The
gentlemaninsidehimjustwouldn’tdie.

By the end of the game, we were thirty points ahead. “And that’s how it’s done.” I made a

dramaticbow.

Rex stuck his hand in my hair and messed it up forcefully. “What’s the point in winning when

you’rehideous?”Hedribbledtheballandwalkedtohiswaterbottlenearthebench.

Zekecameuptome,sweatyandstilloutofbreath.“Goodgame.”Hehigh-fivedme.
“Goodgame,”Isaidinreturn.“You’requickonthecourt.”
Heputhishandsonhishipsashetriedtocatchhisbreath.“Notasquickasyou.”

“Well,nobodyis.”Iflippedmyhairandjuttedmynoseintotheair.
Zekelaughedthengavemeaplayfulshove.“Brat.”
Ishovedhimback.“Soreloser.”
“DidyoueverconsiderthefactthatImighthaveletyouwin?”
“Hmm…notreally.”
“Well,maybeIdid.Losingwouldhurtthategoyoucarryeverywhereyougo.”
“Ithinkyouregoistheoneatstakehere,soI’llgoalongwithyourstorytopreserveit.”
Hechuckledthenshovedmeagain.“Loser.”
“Let’sheadtoBill’s,”Rexsaid.“I’mthirsty.”
“That’sabar,”Inoted.
“Duh.”HerolledhiseyesthenstartedwalkingwithRykerandTobias.
Zekestayedbymysideandwalkedwithme.“Icoulduseacoldbeerrightnow.”
“Afterexercising?”
“Isn’tthatthewholepointofworkingout?”heasked.“Soyoucaneatwhateveryouwant?”
“IeatwhateverIwantregardless.”
“You’reluckyyourphysiquestaysniceonitsown.”
Ilaughed.“Myphysique?”
“What?”heasked.“Youdon’tknowwhatthedefinitionis?”
“It’s just a funny way of saying it. And believe me, it doesn’t stay nice. My thighs are like the

blob.WheneverItakemypantsoff,IwonderifIshouldrunawayfromthemscreaming.”

“Sincerunningrequirestheuseofyourlegs,that’dbeprettydifficulttomanage.”
“Icouldsawthemoff.Thenyoucanputthembackon.”Zekewasadoctor.He’dbeenrunning

hisownpracticeforawhilenow.

“I’mnotasurgeon,”hesaid.“I’madermatologist.”
“That’sright.Youaren’tarealdoctor.”ItriednottosmileafterIsaidthatlastpart.RexandI

likedtoteasehimforthis.Whenhegotbeetred,itwasreallyfunny.

“Iamarealdoctor.”
“Poppingzitsisamedicaltreatment?”
Heglaredatmeforasecondbeforeasmilestartedtoform.HeknewIwastryingtogetarise

outofhim.“What’ssospecialabouttoday?”

NowIwasdrawingablank.“What?”
“Todayisthedayyouwanttodie,right?”Heraisedhishandslikehewasabouttoticklemeto

death.

Ieyedthemwithdreadandtriedtothinkofanescapeplan.“It’sfunnythatyousaythat—”Itook

offatadeadrun,pushingRexasideasItriedtogetawayfromZeke.

Zekestayedfarbehind.“Gooddecision.”

***

Ididn’twanttofeelleftout,soIorderedabeerlikeeveryoneelse.Ordersoffriesandwings

wereontheway,andtheTVshowedasportsreportaboutthelastSeahawksgame.

“Where’syourplace?”RykersatbesideRex,rightacrossfromme.
Rexrestedhiselbowsonthetablewithhiseyesgluedtothescreen.“Ihaveanapartmentafew

blocksaway.”

“Eh-hem.”Iclearedmythroatloudlybecauseofthefalseinformationhegave.
Rykereyedme,notsurewhattheinterruptionmeant.
“Hemeanstosay,myapartment.”Myfingertipstouchedthefrostyglassofthebeer.Mystomach

wasachingbecauseIhadn’tputfoodinitforsolong.Greasywingsandevengreasierfriessounded
likethebestthingevermade.“Heliveswithme.”

Rykerdidn’tgivehimanyheatforit.“Youlikethecompany?”
“Ugh.”Rexrolledhiseyesandhisheadatthesametime.Itlookedlikehisheadwasabouttofall

off.“Hellno.IhadtobecauseI’mbroke.”

IturnedtoZeke.“Youknow,youcantakehimwheneveryouwant.”
“Andhavehimtrashmyplace?”Heshookhisheadslightly.“No,thanks.”Hisdarkbark-colored

haircontrastedagainstthefaircomplexionofhisface.Hewaseasyontheeyes,andgirlsflockedto
both him and my brother like geese. I’d been friends with him since I could remember. He was the
otherbrotherIneverhad,thegoodone.

“Whyareyoubroke?”Rykerasked.
“Iboughtabowlingalley,”Rexsaid.
Rykerwasabouttotakeadrinkbutstoppedhimself.“Abowlingalley?”
Thatgoddamnbowlingalleyhadbeennothingbutapainintheass.“Rexwonthelottery.”
“Areyouserious?”Rykerasked.“Theactuallotto?”
“Yeah,”Rexsaid.“Itwasahundredgrand.”
“And this idiot decided to buy a bowling alley,” I said. “It’s the worst investment ever. He’s

barely broken even for the past year. And most importantly, Rex doesn’t know anything about
bowling.He’sneverevenplayed.”

“Hey, Miss Prissy,” Rex snapped. “Why don’t you stop being so negative all the time? I don’t

shoveeveryoneofyourfailuresdownyourthroat.”

“Uh,yes,youdo.”Whatkindofmemorydidhehave?
Rex ignored me and continued talking to Ryker. “The economy has been shit for a while so

businesshasn’tpickedup.Ikeepwaitingitoutbutnothingseemstochange.Imayhavetosellit,andI
probablywon’tgetmymoneyback.”

Even though my brother pissed me off when he was a pig around the house, brought strange

women to the apartment, and insulted me in front of everyone we knew, he always had my back. I
knewIneededtobemoresupportiveofthis.“Maybeyouneedtomakeafewchanges.”

“Changes?”Rexasked.
“Youknow,remodelorsomething.”
“Butthatcostsmoney,”hesnapped.“IncaseyouwerewonderingwhyI’mlivingwithyou,it’s

becauseIdon’thaveanymoney.”

“Ihavemysavings,”Ioffered.“Itcanbeputtogooduse.”
ZekelookedatmelikeIjustsproutedwingsandhorns.
Rex’sjawdroppedtothesurfaceofthetable.“Shutyourass.”
“ButyouknowwhatIthinkwouldbereallygood?”Isaid.“Ifyouopenedabar.Iknowthey’rea

lotofworkbecauseyouhavetogetthelicense,butifyouhadboozeandgoodfoodtoaccompanythe
game,peoplewouldreallyconsideritanightout.”

Rykernoddedinagreement,hisgreeneyesflashing.“That’snotabadidea.”
“Andifweslappedanewcoatofpaintontheoutsideandtoldpeoplewewerehavingare-grand

opening, your business would definitely pick up.” I learned that in a business class in college.
Drawing that kind of attention always increased sales. It was the reason so many fast-food chains
remodeledeveryfiveyearsasaruleofthumb.

Zekenoddedinagreement.“Maybeyoushouldhaveditchedscienceformarketing.”
“Nah,”Isaid.“IlikewhereIam.”
“You’reascientist?”Rykeraskedininterest.
Anytime he spoke directly to me, I felt my stomach tie up in knots. It was hard to be myself

around him because I tensed up anxiously. “My fields of study are environmental chemistry and
biology.”

Hesippedhisbeerwithalookofapprovalinhiseyes.“That’sreallycool.”
Zekenudgedmegentlyintheside.“Beautyandbrains.Youdon’tseethatveryoften.”
Ismiledathimwithgratitude.“Thankyou.”
“Beauty?”Rexasked.“AnytimeIlookatRae,Ithinkofwombattryingtotakeashit.”
Tobiaswasabouttodrinkhisbeerwhenhestoppedandalmostknockedtheglassover.“Whothe

hellsaysstufflikethat?”

“It’strue,”Rexsaid.“It’sthewayshedoesherhair.”
“Straight…?”IhardlytouchedmyhairbecauseIwassolazy.WhenIwentoutwithJessieand

Kayden, I really put time into my appearance, but other than that, it was the path of least resistance.
“Andremember,Ijustofferedtohelpyou.”

“Damn.”Rexsighedlikehejustrealizedhismistake.“Imean,you’reokay.”
ThatwasthemostIwouldevergetoutofhim.“I’lltakeit.”
“Thisisgoingtocostalotofmoney,”Zekesaid.“I’llchipin.”
“No.”Rexeyedhisbestfriendalmostvenomously.“Forgetit.”
“What?”Zekeasked.“Idon’tmind.AndRaeshouldn’thavetopayforeverything.”
“Theanswerisstillno,”Rexpressed.
“Why?”Zekeasked.“You’lltakehermoneybutnotmine?”
“She’sfamily,”Rexargued.“It’sdifferent.”
Zekedidn’treactovertly,butIcouldtellsomethinginsidehimbrokealittle.“Ialwaysthought

wewerefamily.”

“Weare,”Rexsaid.“Ididn’tmeanitlikethat…”
“Thenletmehelpyou,”Zekesaid.“Iwouldn’tofferifIdidn’twantto.”
ZekewasalwaysagoodfriendtoRex,andIappreciatedthatevenifInevershowedit.Iwouldn’t

knowwhattodowithmyselfifJessieandKaydenweren’tbymysideeveryday.“Ithinkit’sagood
idea,”Isaid.“Thatwayneitheroneofustakesahugehit.”

“Idon’tknow…”Rexsighedanxiously.“I’mnotevensureifI’llbeabletopayyouback.”
“Youwill.”Thebowlingalleywasadump.Itwasold,andthewallsweregray.Ifwespiceditup,

itwouldattractfamiliesaswellastheyoungercrowd.Thereweretonsofbarsandshopsaroundit,
anditwastheonlybowlingalleywithintwentymiles.Ithadallthepotential.

“AndevenifIcan,it’lltakemeawhile,”Rexsaid.“Iwon’tbeabletoreimburseyouovernight.”
Zekegavehimanirritatedlook.“Webothwenttograduateschool.Howstupiddoyouthinkwe

are?”

“Well,IthinkRaeisoneofthedumbestpeopleI’veevermet.You,ontheotherhand,arepretty

damngifted.”Rexdownedtherestofhisbeerthenreturnedtheemptyglasstothecoaster.

Rykereyedusbackandforthuntilhespoke.“Isthishowallyourconversationsgo?”
“Whatdoyoumean?”Rexasked.
“You’revicioustoeachotherbuthaveeachother ’sbacksatthesametime?”Rykermovedhis

eyestomine,andtherewasahiddendepththereIcouldn’tsee.

Rex shrugged. “She’s my sister and I hate her and everything, but…I kind of like her…

sometimes.”

HeputoutsomegoodvibessoIreciprocated.“Ikindoflikehimtoo…onceinabluemoon.”

***

“Nothinghitsthespotquitelikewingsandbeer.”Rykerpattedhisflatstomach.
“Amentothat.”
Heputhishandsinhispocketsashewalkedbesideme,withRex,Zeke,andTobiasupahead.“I

don’trememberyoufromwhenIwasinhighschool.It’sstrangebecauseRexandIusedtohangout
allthetime.”

“Well, he’s five years older than me, so we weren’t in high school at the same time. That’s

probablywhy.”

Henoddedinagreement.“It’sfunnythatwe’vecrossedpathsagain…”
“Yeah.Andmydogdidn’tneedtohuntyoudownforittohappen.”
Hechuckled.“Maybeyou’retheonewhocansensewhereIam,notSafari.”
“That’screepy…”
“Abitstalker-ish,huh?”hesaidwithalaugh.
“Yeah.Ilikehotguysasmuchasthenextwoman,butnotenoughtocreeparound.”
“Hotguy?”Helookedatmewithasmileonhisfaceandasmolderinhiseyes.
“Duh.Likeyou’veneverlookedinamirror.”
Hefacedforwardagain,thatsmilestillthere.Therewasaslighttinttohischeeks,orperhapsI

wasjustimaginingthat.“Wanttocomeover?”

Last time he asked me out, he said the same thing. There was no invitation to dinner or the

movies.“Straightforthekill,huh?”

He didn’t seem apologetic about it. “We can do the whole date thing, but the only thing we’re

going to be thinking about over dinner is hitting the sheets. We’re attracted to each other, so why
don’twejustskipahead?Gettothegoodstuff?”

“Isn’tthegoodstuffevenbetterwhenthere’sabuildup?Whenyougettoknoweachother?”
“Orwecangettoknoweachotherinanintimateway…”Hesaidexactlywhathewantedwithout

any shame. No other guy could pull that off without looking like an asshole. Ryker was deadly
handsome and carried himself with a lethal dose of confidence. He got what he wanted with little
effort,andheprobablyhadtodofarlessmostofthetime.

Hecameclosertome,hisarmbrushingpastmyshoulder.“Whatdoyousay,sweetheart?”
Evenhisvoicearousedme.Hecouldsayanythingandgetmybloodpumping.Theimmediate

attractionheldthekindofheatthatcouldstartawildfireinthemiddleofafield.Iturneddownhis
offeronceandwentonadatethatstillleftabadtasteinmymouth.Ididn’twanttodothatagain.

Iwasn’tignorant.Rykerthrewsignalsallovertheplacethattoldmehewasabitofaplayer.He

madepantiesmeltwithjustasmile,andhehadasignacrosshischestthatsaidheartbreaker.

But I wanted something good after the dry spell I’d been through. I wanted heat and passion

withoutthecomplications.WhileIwantedtofindMr.Rightandmyhappilyeverafter,Iwantedtobe
satisfiedasIwaitedforhimtocomeintomylife.“Okay.”

Nowhegrinnedfromear-to-ear.“Iwashopingyouwouldsaythat.”
“ButIhavetogohomefirst.ThenI’llmeetyouthere.”
“Whydon’twejustgonow?”
“Becausemybrotherwillbealittlebitchaboutitifheknows.”
RykereyedRexupaheadthenturnedbacktome.“Whywouldhecare?”
Irolledmyeyes.“He’sweirdwhenitcomestoboys.Whenhedidn’tlivewithme,itwasmuch

easier for me to date. But if I bring a guy back to my apartment or don’t come home until the
followingmorning,heflipsout.”

“Doeshebringwomenbacktotheapartment?”
“All. The. Time.” I couldn’t count the number of times a girl in just a thong appeared in the

kitchenwhenIwasmakingbreakfastbeforework.“It’sadoublestandardthing.He’sjustprotective
ofme,notthatIneedit.”

“Youdon’tstrikemeasthekindofwomantoputupwithit.”
“I’m not,” I said firmly. “I’ve told him off before, but it hasn’t changed anything. Since the

arrangementistemporary,it’sjusteasiertotiptoearoundhim.Andsinceyou’rehisfriend,itwould
beamillion,zilliontimesworse.Iwouldneverheartheendofit.”

“Icanunderstandthatlastpart.”
“So,howaboutImeetyouinanhour?”
“IguessIcanwaitforalittlewhile.”Hegavemeasmolderashebrushedupagainstme.
“Youwon’tgetstartedwithoutme,willyou?”
“Imight…butI’llbethinkingaboutyou.”

***

RexandZekewereinthelivingroomwhenIgrabbedmypurseandpreparedtoleave.Ishaved

everyinchofmybodyexceptmyarms,eyebrows,andhead,andIchangedintoasexypairofblack
panties.“I’mgoingoutwithJessie.Seeyoulater.”

Rexdidn’tturnaround,butheraisedhishandingoodbye.“Seeya.Wouldn’twannabeya.”
Icouldn’tkeepthesarcasmback.“Goodone…”
Zeketurnedaroundandactuallygavemehisattention.“Whatareyouguysupto?”
“Notsureyet,”Isaid.“Butitprobablyhassomethingtodowithalcohol.”
“Youwantmoreaftertoday?”Zekeaskedinsurprise.
“Youknowme,”Isaid.“I’mlikeawell.”
“Well,havefun.Callmeifyouneedaride.”
“IfI’mcallinganyone,it’sRex.Thatassholeowesmebig-time.”
Rexstilldidn’tturnaround.“Ithoughtyouwereleaving.”
“Gotohell.”
Rexgavemethebirdwhilehiseyeswerestillgluedtothescreen.

***

Ryker had a nice apartment close to the water. It was on the top floor of the building, and the

elevatortookmerighttoit.

Washeloaded?
Whentheelevatorreachedhisfloor,theintercomstartedtoringlikeaphone.Rykerpickedup

afterafewrings.“Ryker.”

Istoodthereawkwardly,unsurewhatdevicetospeakinto.“It’sRae…”
“I was wondering when you would get here.” The door opened and revealed his living room.

The windows reached from the floor to the ceiling, and dark mahogany wood made up his
floorboards.Thewallsweregraywithwhitetrimming,andhisfurniturewasthecolorofcream.

Iwalkedintotheapartmentandheardthedoorsclosebehindme.Itookalookaroundandtried

nottogawkatalltheexpensivethingsheowned.WorkingasaresearcherforCOLLECTgavemea
greatsalary,butitwasnothingcomparedtothis.Injusthislivingroomalone,everythingwasmore
expensivethaneverythingIownedputtogether.

Ryker emerged from the left, wearing sweatpants that fit low on his hips. Even when he was

dressedcasually,helookedsexy.Hishairwasalittlemessylikehedidn’tcombitafterhegotoutof
theshower.ButheprobablyknewIwasgoingtorunmyfingersthroughitandmessitupanyway.
“I’mgladyou’rehere.”Hewalkedrightuptomeandslidmypursedownmyshoulder.Thenhesetit
onthetablebesideusinafluidmotion.

Nowthatwewerealonetogether,theheatstartedtokickin.Mybodywarmeduplikeamotor

thathadn’truninalongtime.Ittookmeawhiletoreachfullcapacity,butwhenIwasthere,Iwas
ready.

Rykerstaredintomyeyeswithalltheconfidenceintheworld.Nowthattherewerenowitnesses,

he stared at me like prey. His eyes moved across my body, like he was picturing exactly what he
woulddowhenhereachedeachspot.

Hisfingersmovedundermychin,andhehadaslightholdonmyface.Ididn’tusuallylikebeing

heldlikethat,inapossessiveway,butIlikeditwhenhedidit.Hegentlymaneuveredmyface,forcing

mylipsupwardtowardhis.Heleanedclosertome,abouttoleaninforthekiss.

When his lips were just inches from mine, I closed my eyes. I was prepared to feel that all-

consumingtouch,thatfirethatburnedmefromheadtotoe.Mybodyachedforhisinacarnalway.
Likeananimal,IwantedtogoatitwitheverythingIhad.

“Ipromisethiskisswillbemuchbetterthanthelastoneyouhad.”
Mylipsliftedinvoluntarily,andIopenedmyeyestostareintohis.
His eyes remained serious, his attention focused purely on my mouth. He moved his fingers

frommyjawtomyneck.Theywrappedaroundthearea,gettingagoodholdonme.Thenhegripped
afistfulofhair,usingitasananchortokeepmylipspointedtohis.

Then he slowly moved in and pressed his lips against mine. When they brushed against my

mouth, they were soft. The touch wasn’t aggressive the way his hand indicated. The kiss was slow,
practically immobile. He just rested his mouth there, savoring the gentleness of the touch. Then he
movedhislipswithmine,kissingmepurposefully.Breathsenteredmymouthandmylungs.Theheat
fromhisfingersburnedmyskin,constantlyremindingmeIwashisfortheevening.

Hisfreehandwrappedaroundmywaistandhookedontotheoppositehip.Hepulledmeagainst

his chest, the curve of my breasts pressing right against him. I’d been a tomboy my whole life, but
Rykerdefinitelymademefeellikeawoman.

Hedeepenedthekissbutdidn’tincreasethepace.Thekissingwasjustasslowasitwasinthe

beginning,butIloveditthatway.Therewasnorushtoreachthefinishline.Thejourneyitselfwas
justasfulfilling.

Rykerpulledawayslightlyandlookeddownatmyface.Mylipswerelonelythesecondhiswere

gone.Myheartkickedintooverdriveattheslighthalt.Rykerbrushedhislipspastmineinateasing
waybeforehekissedthecornerofmymouth.Thenhestartedtokissmeagain.

Myarmscircledhisneck,andwithamindoftheirown,myfingerssnakedintohishair.Itwas

softlikeIsuspectedittobe,andthecurlsattheendswereslightlycoarse.

Ilovedfeelingthedetailsofhisfeaturesundermyfingertips.Hissmellfloodedmysenses,and

thescentwasforeveringrainedinmymind.

Effortlessly, Ryker scooped me up by my ass then lifted me into him. My legs automatically

hookedaroundhiswaistlikemybodyanticipatedthemovement.Hislipsmovedtomyneck,andhe
kissedthehollowofmythroatinaseductiveway.

Hecarriedmepastthewindowandintothehallway.AllthedoorswereclosedsoIdidn’tknow

wheretheyled,buthislipsweredistractingmetoomuchtotrulycare.

We entered his bedroom and he gently laid me on the bed, rolling with me on top of the

comforter. His thighs were between mine, and his hand returned to my hair as he kissed me on the
mouth.

Iranmyhandsdownhischestandfeltthedefinitionofhisphysiquethroughhist-shirt.WhenI

reachedhiswaist,Imovedmyhandsunderneaththefabricandfeltthebareskin.Hisstomachwasall
groovesandabs,andhischestwasrock-hard.Anindecipherablemoanescapedmylipsasmybody
enteredanewrealmofarousal.IwasreadyforhimthesecondIwalkedintohisapartment.Icouldn’t
rememberthelasttimeIhadsex,andIwasexcitedthatthiswouldhaveahappyending.Rykerdidn’t
strikemeasthekindofguytoleaveagirlhanging.

Onehandmovedtomyjeans,andheunbuttonedthetopwithease.Hekissedmeatthesametime,

notbreakinghisconcentrationwhilehedidtwothingsatonce.Oncethezipperwasdone,heleaned
backontheballsofhisfeetandpulledthepantsdownmylegs.WhenIwasjustinmyunderwear,he
lookedattheblackpantiesIwore.Hiseyeshonedinonthearealikeitwasatarget.Thenhewidened
mylegswithhishandsandpressedakissinthecenterofthefabric.

Myhandsimmediatelycurledoverhis,andImoanedatthetouch.Theheatofhismouthfeltso

goodagainstthesensitivearea.Iwantedhimtokeepgoingbutwouldneverbesodesperatetoaskfor
it.

Hemovedupmybodyagainthenpulledmytopoff.Justlikewiththejeans,heunbuttonedthe

claspwithasinglehand.Onceitfellloose,hekissedthevalleybetweenmybreaststhensuckedeach
ofmynipples.Hegrippedonetitandsqueezeditaggressively.

All this foreplay was making me writhe. I was already soaked and ready to go, but that didn’t

mean I wanted it to end. Listening to the sound our mouths made when we kissed, and noting the
soundofourheavybreathingwasaturn-oninitself.

Igrabbedthebottomofhisshirtandquicklyyankeditoverhishead.Theslabofconcretethat

made up his chest and torso was exactly what I hoped it would be. His skin was tan like he jogged
shirtless,andthemusclesofhisarmsandshoulderswereevenbetter.

Ipulledhissweatpantsdownandtooktheboxerswiththem,wantingtogethimnakedasquickly

aspossible.Whenhiscockpoppedout,Ireleasedamoanofjoy.

Ryker gave me a heated look then moved two fingers to my entrance. He gently massaged the

area before he slipped two fingers inside. My hands went to his biceps, and I looked at the desire
writtenalloverhisface.Hepulsedinsidemebeforeheslowlyremovedhisfingers.“Bigdick.Tiny
pussy.Goodsex.”Hekissedmystomachbeforeheopenedhisnightstandandgrabbedafoilpacket.

I took it from his hands and did the honors. My fingers rolled the latex onto his length all the

way to the base. Feeling his dick in my hands was hot as hell. I measured it with my fingers and
realizeditwasnineinches.Thefactthatitwasthickmadeitseemevenbigger.

Hepositionedhimselfovermethenkissedmeslowly.Theembracewasslowerthanithadbeen

minutesago.Nowheseemedtobestalling,buildingupthemomentwhenourbodieswouldcombine.

Iwasanxiousandneedy.Allhistouchesturnedmeonbeyondcapacity.NowIjustwantedhim

deepinsideme.Igrabbedhishipsandgavehimagentlepull.

Heendedthekissandpressedhisforeheadtomine.ThenhedidasIsilentlyaskedandpressed

thetip of hishead inside me.The thickness stretched meright from thebeginning, making me feel
full.

Rykerreleasedaquietmoanasheslowlyinsertedhisshaftinsideme.Mybodyneededamoment

toacclimatetohislargesize.Witheverystretchofmybody,therewasslightpain.Buttherewasso
muchmorepleasurethananythingelse.

He slowly made the descent, entering one inch at a time. Once he was completely sheathed, he

remainedstillandtensedaboveme,savoringeverysecond.

I gripped his shoulders and dug my nails into his skin. I did it harder than I meant to and may

have drawn blood, but the hormones inside me were responsible for it. My head rolled back
automatically,andIarchedmyback.Nothingcoulddescribehowgoodthesexwas.

Andwe’dbarelystarted.
He slowly rocked into me, his length sliding past all the fluid my body produced for him.

Sometimeshestaredatmytits,andothertimes,helookedatmyface.Thelookinhiseyestoldmehe
wasenjoyingitasmuchasIwas.

Myfingersmovedintohishairandfeltthestrands.Itwistedthem,feelingthesweatthatstarted

to accumulate on the back of his neck. He thrust into me harder with every minute, making the
headboardtapagainstthewall.

Thenighthadonlyjustbegun,yetIfeltthatdistantsensationformdeepinmygut.Itwasahot,

fierystarthatfellfromtheheavensandburnedasittraveledacrossthesky.Everyfiberofmybeing
had come alive from the long sleep I had. It was the strongest climax I’d ever had, and I knew that
beforeitevenhit.

Ibitmybottomlipandgrippedhisbicepsastheunstoppablepleasurehitmelikeabulldozer.It

crashed into me hard and shattered me to pieces. My mouth formed an O, and I started to moan. I
pantedandyelled,lovingthewayIautomaticallyconstrictedaroundhisdick.Icameallaroundhim,
providingmorelubricationthanhewouldeverneed.

When the moment passed, I was suddenly covered in sweat and heat. But it still felt good, so I

didn’t want it to end. My hands moved down his back, and I felt the clear definition there. Every
musclewasdefinedandtoned.Icouldsketchtheanatomyofthehumanbodyjustbytouchinghim.

“Mmm…” He put more weight on his arms as he leaned farther over me, giving me longer

thrustsashemoved.

Iwantedthereinsforalittlebit.Afterthatperformance,hedeservedtoliebackandletmedo

someofthework.Igrippedhisshouldersandrolledhimtohisback,clingingtohimasImoved.His
dickslippedoutthenlandedwithanoticeablethudagainsthisstomach.

Ibalancedwiththeballsofmyfeetoneithersideofhishipsandpointedhistipatmyentrance.
Rykerstaredatmewithlustandawe.Hishandsmovedunderneathmyasscheeks,andheguided

me down his length, wanting me to take him all in. Then he gripped my hips as he lay back on the
pillows.

Igrippedhiswaistandbouncedonhisdick,usingmyglutesandthighstokeepupthepace.Even

whenIfelttheburn,Ikeptgoingbecauseitfeltsogood.

Rykerlovedit.“Fuck,baby.”Hethrustintomefromunderneath,wantingevenmore.
Myhandsmovedtothischest,andIbouncedupanddown,takinginhisbigdickoverandover.I

didn’tthinkIcouldhaveanotherorgasm,atleastthatquickly,butIfeltitstartalloveragain.Thatwas
rareformeandcouldonlyhappenifIwasparticularlyhorny.

Orbecausetheguywasparticularlygoodinbed.
Amoancamefromthebackofhisthroat.“Sweetheart,Ican’tlastthatlongifyoukeepthisup.”

MynailsdugintohisskinandImovedharder,workingupasweatacrossmychestandshoulders.My
hairstucktothemoistureandcouldn’tmove.“I’mabouttocomeagainanyway.”

“Inthatcase…”Hepressedhisthumbagainstmyclitoristhenrubbeditaggressively.Hemoved

inacircularmotion,justthewayIliked.Thepressurewasgood,butheappliedmorethelongerwe
movedtogether.Whenhegaveittomehard,Iknewhewasabouttoexplode.

“Rightthere…”
“Comeon,sweetheart.”Heclosedhiseyesandbreathedhard,fightingoffhisurge.
I didn’t tell him when I reached my threshold because my yells and screams were sufficient. I

grippedhimforbalancethenshovedhimfarinsideme,enjoyingthewayhethrobbedfromwithin.

He gripped my hips and moaned with me, reaching his point at the exact same moment. He

breathedthroughthepleasureandbecameredintheface.

IstayedontopofhimasIwounddown,suddenlyawareofhowsweatyandhotIwas.Weboth

workedourassoffduringthatrendezvousbutalltheeffortwasworthit.

Islowlypulledhimoutofmeandfeltthetendernessfromhissemi-harddick.ThenIlaybeside

him,stillcatchingmybreath.

Helaythereinsilencebeforehishandmovedtomineandgrippedit.Hedidn’tcuddlewithme

becauseitwaswaytoohotforeitheroneofus.

After that workout, there was no way I could walk home. I was exhausted and satisfied. All I

wanted to do was go to sleep and worry about it in the morning. I grabbed my phone from the
nightstandandsentoutaquickmessagetoRex.

Hammered.StayingwithJessie.
IsentatexttoJessiejustincaseRexaskedaboutit.IfRexasks,Iwaswithyoutonight.I’lltell

youthedetailslater.Itossedmyphoneonthenightstandandclosedmyeyes.Almostimmediately,I
wasasleep.

***

“Morning,sweetheart.”RykerkissedmyneckuntilIwokeup.
Itwasagreatwaytostartmyday.“Morning.”
Hekissedmyshoulderthenmychest.“Sleepwell?”
“Yeah.Yourbediscomfy.”
“YouwereabletosleepwithoutSafari?”Ateasingnotewasinhisvoice.
“Once in a while.” I opened my eyes and looked up into his face. He was leaning over me,

restingonhiselbows.

“Youlookprettyinthemorning.”
“Ido?”Mymakeupmustbesmearedallovermyface.Mymascarawasprobablyrunningand

myhairhadtobeamess.SinceIdidn’tlooklikeMirandaKerr,Icouldn’tjustwakeupandrolloutof
bed.

“Yeah.”Hekissedthecornerofmymouth.
Thatlitmeupalloveragain.
“Sorrytowakeyou.Ijustwasn’tsureifyouhadworkorsomething.”
“Youdon’t?”
“Notyet.Idon’tstartmyjobforanotherweek.”
“Thatmustbenice.”Isatupandlookedatthetime.“Damn,Idoneedtogetgoing.Iwasgoing

toheadhomelastnight,butIwastootired.”

“It’sokay.Wanttotakeashower?Icanmakeyousomebreakfast.”
“No,I’mokay.”Iquicklydressedmyselfthenwalkedtothemirrorontopofhisvanity.Myhair

wasabird’snest,butImanagedtofixitwithmyfingers.Mymakeupwasn’trunning,butitwasnon-
existent.Imusthavesweatitoffthenightbefore.

Rykerwalkedmetothedoor,wearinghissweatpantsandat-shirt.Iwasjealoushegottolounge

aroundthehousewhileIhadtogotoworkandstudypHlevelsandhelpfulbacteria.“Lastnightwas
fun.”

“Itwas.”Withoutsayinganything,hemadeitclearwhatlastnightwas.Itwasjustaflingbetween

two acquaintances. I probably should have just stayed away from him, but I really needed my fix.
Actually,Ididn’thaveanyregrets.One-nightstandscouldbeanincredibleexperiencedependingon
thewayyoulookedatit.Wewouldbeabletokeepitbetweenus,andnoonewouldeverknowabout
it. It would be our dirty little secret. “I’ll see you around.” I leaned in and gave him one final slow
kiss.“Iwantedtotakethattogo.”

Hesmiled,anditwasthekindofsmilethatreachedhiseyes.“Doyouneedabox?”
“No.I’llkeepitinmybackpocket.”

ChapterFour

Rex
IfRexasks,Iwaswithyoutonight.I’lltellyouthedetailslater.
Istaredatthetextmessagewithsquintedeyes.DiditsaywhatIthinkitsaid?Ireaditagainand

cockedmyheadtotheside,unsurewhattomakeofit.

“What?”Zekesatbesideme,abeersittingonhisthigh.
“Raesentmeaweirdtext.”
“Whatdoesitsay?”
Ihandedthephoneover.
Zeke read it aloud. “If Rex asks, I was with you tonight. I’ll tell you the details later.” He kept

staringatthescreenandreaditagainsilently.“Didshesendyouanythingelse?”Hescrolledupand
sawthepreviousmessageshesent.“Hammered.StayingwithJessie.”

I took the phone back. “I think she meant to send that last one to Jessie but sent it to me by

mistake.”

“Butwhywouldshelie?”
That was my concern. Rae never lied to me. She told me the fat, ugly truth right to my face—

everytime.“Ihaven’tgotaclue.”

Zekestaredoffintothedistance,histhoughtshiddenbehindhiseyes.“Doyouthinkshehooked

upwithsomeone?”Thehollownessofhisvoicefellevenonmyears.

“Idon’tknow.Ifso,Ihopeitwasn’twithRyker.”
Zekeimmediatelytensedinirritation.“He’sthebiggestplayerI’veeverknown.”
“Biggerthanbothofuscombined.”
Zeketookalongdrinkofhisbeer,silentlybrooding.“She’stoogoodforhim.”
“I know.” I teased my sister a lot, but I truly thought the world of her. We both had a hard life

growingup,andshestillcameoutontop.Shewasneverpompouswithhersuccess,andeventhough
shewassmarterthanme,sheneverbelittledme.WhenIhitafinancialcrisis,Ididn’tevenhavetoask
ifIcouldmoveinwithher.Shejustoffered.

“Areyougoingtotalktoher?”
“Idon’tknowwhatI’mgoingtodo.”SheandIbuttedheadslikeopponentsonthebattlefield,but

therewereunspokenrulesbetweenus.Weneverliedtoeachother,andinacomplicatedway,that’s
whatmadeourrelationshipunique.Nomatterhowdarktheskybecameorhowdifficulttimesgot,I
couldalwaysrelyonher.Butifshecouldn’tbehonestwithme,thensomethingwasup.

“Icansaysomethingtoher,”Zekeoffered.“Ourrelationshipisalittledifferent.”
“No.”Ithadtobeme.
Zekebackedoff,knowingthiswasn’thisterritory.“Okay.”
Rykerwasadecentguy,butI’dseenhimdoalotofthingsthatwouldmakeanybrotherforbid

himfrombeingnearhissister.IjustassumedRykerunderstoodRaewasofflimits.Andifhetouched
her,I’dhavesomethingtosayaboutit.Actually,myfistwould.

Zekesetdownhisbottleonthecoffeetableandrubbedhistemplelikehehadamigraine.
“Youokay,man?”
“Yeah,I’mfine.”Hestaredatthegroundandappearedtobelostinhisownworld.“Ishouldgo.”

Heleftthecouchandgrabbedhiskeysbeforewalkingout.Hedidn’tsaygoodbyeoranythingelse.

Somethingwasbotheringhim.

***

IjustfinishedapotofcoffeewhenRaewalkedinside.Sheworethesameclothesfromthenight

before,andherhairwasinabun.Shelookedtiredbutrestedatthesametime.

“Hey.”Shetossedherpurseonthecounteralongwithherkeys.

“Hey.”Ipouredamugofcoffee.
“Howwasyournight?”
Shenevermadechitchatwithme,andIsuspectedshewasonlydoingitnowoutofguilt.Shelied

tomewhensheshouldn’thave.Infact,shecouldhavesaidnothingatall.IfIwereworriedabouther,
Iwouldhavetextedher.Butshedidn’tneedtoreporttomelikeIwasherdad.“Good.Yours?”

“Good.”
“What did you and Jessie do?” I kept the edge out of my voice so she wouldn’t know how

irritatedIwas.

“Youknow,wehitupafewbarsandwreakedhavocalloverthecity.”
“Soundslikefun…”
“ThenIcrashedonhercouch.”
“Yourneckmustbesore.”
“Eh.”Sheshruggedthenmassagedit.“Well,Ineedtogetreadyforwork.WhenI’moff,we’ll

talkaboutalltheadjustmentsforthebowlingalley.”

“Cool.”Ihadtogettoworktoo.Workingbehindthecounterwasboringashell.IwishIcould

affordaworkertodoitforme.

“Alright.”Shewalkeddownthehallandwentintothebathroom.
Istoodatthecounterandkeptdrinkingmycoffee.

***

“I’mtakingoff.”Ishuttheregisterthenwashedmyhandsvigorously.
Helena stood at the counter, scrolling through Facebook on her phone. “Okay. See you

tomorrow.”Shewascoveredininkfromheadtotoe,andherblackhairhadafewstreaksofpurplein
it.Shewaspiercedfromherearlobestothetopsofherears.

Shewasonehotpieceofass.
Thesecondsheturnedeighteen,shecamehereandaskedforajob.Sheneededtomoveoutof

herparents’placeandgetherownspace.Isaidyes,ofcourse.

“Callmeifyouneedme.”
Shegavemeaflirtatiouslook.“Ialwaysneedyou,Rex.”
Ashivermoveddownmyspine,andmydickhardenedinmyjeans.Iwantedtotakeherinthe

backandfuckheronmydesk.Butshewastenyearsyoungerthanme.Eventhoughshewaseighteen,
shewasstillsoyoungandignorant.Ihadafeelingshewasmoredelicatethansheseemed.

IheadedtotheapartmentandwalkedintoseeRaeandZekesittingatthekitchentable.Chipsand

salsawereonthesurface,aswellasafewbottlesofbeer.Raehadherlaptopout,andZekesatthere
withhisphoneonthetable.

“Thelifeofthepartyishere.”Itossedmykeysontheentrywaytablethenopenedabeer.
“Yay…”Rae’svoicewasfullofsarcasm,likealways.
“Helenaiskeepinganeyeonthealley.Andshelooksdamnfinedoingit.”Isatatthetablebeside

Zeke.

“Becareful,”Zekewarned.“Younggirlscanbeclingy.”
“Thattattoogirlwithallthepiercings?”Raeasked.“Rex,youbetterstayawayfromher.She’s

waytooyoungforyou.”

“Getoffmyback,”Isaid.“IfIweregoingtoscrewher,Iwouldhavedoneitbynow.”
“Youshouldn’thavehiredhertobeginwith.”Raeopenedherlaptop.
“What’swrongwithher?”Iasked.“Justbecauseshe’salittlerougharoundtheedges?”
“No,”Raesaid.“Becauseshe’saterribleworker.Howmanycomplaintshaveyougottenbecause

ofher?”

Alot.“She’sfine.I’mnotgoingtofireherifthat’swherethisisgoing.”

“Obviously,”Raesaid.“Butdon’tkeephiringchicksjustbecausethey’rehot.”
“Theybringbusiness,”Iargued.
Zekeshrugged.“True.”
Raerolledhereyes.“Sorry,doyouwanttorunabowlingalleyoraHooters?”
Myeyeswidened,andIlookedatZeke.
Hehadthesamelookonhisface.“Dude,thatwouldhavebeensick.”
“Goddammit!Whydidn’tIdothatinstead?”Thatwouldbemybiggestregret.
Raewasusedtothetwoofussosheignoredus.“Let’sfocusonwhatyoudohave.”
“Let’ssellitandopenupaHooters,”Isaid.“Hotchickswithbigtits.Perfect.”
“I’llgoinwithyou,”Zekesaid.
Raedidn’tseemtheleastbitsurprised.“Whydon’tyoujustopenastripclub?”
Zekenoddedvigorously.“Ilikethatidea.”
“Thatreallyisperfect,”Isaid.“Let’sjustsellthebowlingalley—”
“We aren’t selling the bowling alley,” Rae said with unusual patience. “You wouldn’t even get

half of what you paid for it. Let’s work on the place and get business up. Maybe when things are
rolling,you’llhaveenoughmoneytoopenasecondbusiness.”

“That would be awesome.” Girls would be dancing around me every day—and I’d be getting

paidforit.

“So,let’sfocus.”Raewasalwaystheseriousoneofthetwoofus.Ilookedafterher,butshehad

thepersonalityofadrillsergeantsometimes.“Weneedtoremodeltheoutside.Anewcoatofpaint
andasignwoulddowonders.Butweshouldwaituntiltherainyseasonpasses.Otherwise,it’lljust
runrightoff.”

“True,”Zekesaid.
“Wecanworkontheinsidenow,”Raesaid.“Havingabarshoulddrawpeoplein.Maybenota

full bar, but at least something with beer and wine. If you have too many options, it might draw in
shadypeople.Remember,thisisafamilyplace.”

“Gotit,”Isaid.
“Ithinkanarcadewouldhelptoo.Keeptheenvironmentfriendly.”
“Aren’tthosegamingmachinesexpensive?”Iasked.
“Wecangetrefurbishedones,”Zekesaid.“IfwekeepoureyesopenonCraigslist,weshouldbe

abletogetgoodstuffforareasonableprice.”

“Cool,”Isaid.
“We’regoingtohavetotearoutthatcarpet,”Raesaid.“Itsmellslikeass.”
“Hey,Ihavethejanitorcleanit,”Iargued.
“It still smells like two hundred cats came and peed all over it.” She made the notes on her

computer.

IturnedtoZekeandgavehimalookthatsaid,“Really?”
Heshruggedthennodded.
Damn.
“Withallthesechanges,theplacewilllookbrandnew,”Raesaid.“AndIreallythinkpeoplewill

comeflockingin.”

“AndthenIcanhiremorestaffsoIdon’thavetobethereallthetime.”Runningabusinesshad

itspositives,butalsoitsdrawbacks.SinceIcouldn’taffordmuchhelp,Iwasworkingallthetime.I
justwantedtoworkinthemorningthenleave.

“I’mnotsurewhenthat’sgoingtohappen,Rex.Mostbusinessownersworktheirassesofffor

yearsbeforethathappens.”Zekegavemeasadlook.

“Ugh.”Icoveredmyfaceandsighed.

Raestartedupherusualargument.“Youcouldhaveinvestedin—”
“I bought the bowling alley. It’s done.” I held my hand up so she wouldn’t keep yipping like a

smalldog.

Raeshuthermouth,buttherewasabitofattitudeinhereyes.
“So,howmuchisallofthisgoingtocost?”OrdidInotwanttoknow?
“Iwon’tbecertainuntilIgetanestimate,”Raesaid.“Butaftereyeballingit,Iwouldsay…atleast

fortythousand.”

Ialmostfellover.“Fortythousand?Dollars?Pleasetellmeyoumeanpesos.”
Zekenodded.“Thatsoundsaboutright.Thebarwillbethemostexpensivepart.AndIthinkyou

shouldhavefoodtoo.Pizzaandfriesorsomething.”

Icoveredmyfacewithmyhands.“I’mgoingtobesick.”
“Maybeyoucanhaveaconsignmentagreementwithabusiness,”Raesaid.“LikePizzaHutor

Starbucks.Theyruntheirbusinessinsidethebowlingalley,andyougetaprofitfromtheirrevenue
sincethey’reusingyourfacility.”

“Butwouldtheywanttoopenabusinessinabowlingalleythathasnocustomers?”Zekeasked.
Raenodded.“Goodpoint.”
“Holdon,”Isaid.“I’mstillstuckonthefortythousand.”
“RaeandIwillsplitit,”Zekesaid.“Thatwayit’snottoomuchmoneyforeitheroneofus.”
“Toomuchmoney?”Myeyesalmostfelloutofmyhead.“Howmuchmoneydoyouhavejust

lyingaround?”

“It’scalledasavingsaccount,”Raesaid.
“AndI’madoctor,”Zekesaid.“Incaseyouforgot.”
“Buteventhen,”Isaid.“Ican’ttakethatkindofmoneyfromyouguys—notwhenI’mnotsureif

Icaneverpayitback.”

“Weunderstandtherisk,Rex,”Raesaid.
“Ican’tletyouguysdoit.”Ishookmyhead.“I’msorry.”
“Thenyou’regoingtogounderinayear,”Raesaid.“Twotops.”
“She’sright,”Zekesaid.“Iwouldmuchratherinvestintothisthanseeyouloseitrightoffthe

bat.Inthatinstance,youwouldbelosingwaymoremoneythanwewouldbeinvesting.”

“AndIreallythinkitcouldwork,”Raesaid.“It’sallabouttheenvironment.Ifpeopledon’tfeel

comfortable,theywon’tcome.WhydoyouthinkeveryonelovesDisneyland?It’sbecauseitmakes
peoplefeelgood.Youneedtodosomethinglikethat.”

“Well, I’ve never been to Disneyland, so I don’t know what you mean.” I was pretty sure Rae

hadn’teither.

“It’s just the idea,” Zeke said. “If your place is a dump, you aren’t going to attract anyone. No

oneisgoingtohangoutthereonaSaturdayifit’srundownandold.”

“IguessIknowwhatyoumean,”Iadmitted.
“So, we need to make this place a hot spot,” Rae said. “A place where everyone wants to hang

out.”

“EvenifthisplanworksandIhavemorecustomersthanIcanserve…whoknowshowlongit’ll

takemetopayyouback.Itmaytakemeyears.Tenyears.”Didtheyreallyunderstandthat?

“Weknow,”Zekesaid.“Andwe’rebothcoolwithit.”
“Wearen’tinvestingallofourmoneyintoit,”Raesaid.“Webothhaveourowncash.”
“Whoa.”IgaveRaeahardlook.“Howmuchmoneydoyouhave,kid?”
“I’mnottellingyou,”shesnapped.
“Whatareyousavingfor?”
“Uh, a house?” she said sarcastically. “A place with a yard so Safari can run around. My kids’

tuitions.”

“Whatkids?”Iblurted.
“Myfuturekids.”Raerolledhereyes.“You’remoredensethanIthought.”
“Anyway,”Zekesaid.“Youaren’trunningusdry.That’swhatshe’stryingtosay.”
Istillfeltbadtakinganythingfromthem.Mysisterhadalreadyletmelivewithherformonths,

rent-free.Whenthingsgotreallybad,Zekepaidforallmylunchesanddinners.Theydidalotforme
whenIdidn’tevenask.CouldItakeevenmorefromthem?

“Whydon’twemakeitatheme?”Zekesaid.“LikeGroovyBowl.We’lldecoratetheinsidewith

tie-dye colors, and the wood strips for the alleys will each be a different color. Peace signs will be
everywhere,andthechairswillbecoveredinfringe.Wecanevensellflowercrownstopeoplewho
arereallyintoit.”
“That’snotabadidea,”Raesaid.

“Yeah,it’sreallycool,”Isaid.“I’dbowlataplacelikethat,andIdon’tevenbowl.”
“We could have music from the 60s and the 70s overhead, and we can even have cardboard

cutouts of The Beatles and The Doors so people can stick their faces through the holes and take a
picture,”Zekesaid.“Therearealotofthingswecandowithit.”

“Yeah,”Raesaid.“Thisisgreat.”Shemadethenotesonhercomputer.“GroovyBowl.Ilikeit.”
“Maybealltheworkerscanbedressedashippies,”Isaid.“Thegirlswillbewearingbellyshirts

andshort-shorts.”Ismiledatthethought.“Ooh…theirhaircanbeinabraidoveroneshoulder.”

“Yeah.” Zeke’s face showed the same excitement. “They can dance on the counters every hour

and—”

“Calmdown,boys.”Raesnappedherfingers.“Youtookittoofar.”
Isighedindefeat.“It’sfuntodreamabout…”
“Ifwehadabowlingalleythatwasalsoastripclub,you’dhaveseriousproblems,”Raesaid.
“Mydickdoesn’tagree,”Isaid.
Raemadeadisgustedface.“KeepitPGaroundme.I’myoursister.”
“Well,maybeyoushouldn’t—”Iwasabouttocallheroutforsneakingoutlastnightthenlying

tomeaboutit.Shemusthavehookedupwithsomeone,probablyRyker,andthatdefinitelywasn’tPG.
ButIdidn’tsayanythingbecauseIwasn’tsureifIwantedtoconfrontherjustyet.“Nevermind.”

ZekelookedatmelikeheknewexactlywhatIwasgoingtosay.
“That’swhatIthought.”Raehadaconfidentlookonherfacelikeshejustdefeatedme.
Iletherkeepthinkingthat—fornow.

***

Iwenttothelibrarythenheadedtothecounternearthebackofthebuilding.Kaydenwasthere.

Herblondehairwaspulledbackinahighponytail,andthestrandswereinlargecurls.Hersofthair
hadaparticularshinetoit,likeitwasmadeofhoneyandsilk.Sheworeblack-framedglassesonher
face.

I’dneverseenherwearglassesbefore.
When I reached the counter, her eyes were glued to her computer. She was typing with

concentration.Withoutlookingatme,shesaid,“I’llbewithyouinjustasecond.”

“Okay.”Iwasn’tinahurry.
Whensherecognizedmyvoice,shelookedup.Surpriseflashedacrossherface,andshemust

haverealizedshewaswearingherglassesbecauseshehastilyyankedthemoffandtriedtosetthem
onthecounter.Butinstead,shedroppedthemontheground.Shebentdowntopickthemup,andwhen
shecamebackup,shesmackedherheadonthecounter.“Ouch…”

Ileanedoverthecounterandlookeddownather.“Kay,areyouokay?”
“I’mfine.”Sherubbedthebackofherheadthenstoodup.Whenherfacewasrevealed,itwas

red. She didn’t look angry or appear to be in pain. It seemed like she was embarrassed more than
anythingelse.“Uh,hi.”Shefixedherhair,lookingflustered.

“Isyourheadokay?Wantmetotakealook?”
“No.I’mfine.”Shewavedmeoff,hervoicehigh-pitched.
Ilookedatherglassesonthecounter.“Ididn’tknowyouworeglasses.”
“Oh.”Sheeyedthemthentossedtheminadrawer.“Ionlywearthemonceinawhile.It’snotlike

Ineedthemoranything.”

“Ithoughttheylookedcuteonyou.”
The redness left her cheeks and she became pale. She stared at me with wide, unblinking eyes.

Shedidn’tevenbreathe.

Kaydenwasalwaysquietandshy.Itsurprisedmethatsheandmysisterweresuchgoodfriends.

Raewaswild,obnoxious,andwouldn’tshutthehellup.Kaydencouldn’tbemoredifferent.“Ididn’t
meanthatinanoffensiveway…”Ijustsaidshelookedcute.Itwasn’tlikeIcommentedonhertitsor
something.

“I’mnotoffended,”shesaidquickly.“Ijust…”Hervoicetrailedawayandshebrokeeyecontact,

lookingflusteredalloveragain.“Whatbringsyouhere?”Sheswallowedhard.

“Icamehereforabook.”
“Oh.Whatkind?”
“A marketing book,” I said. “Rae, Zeke, and I are going to remodel the bowling alley. I just

wanted to brush up on a few things.” Actually, I wanted to learn a few things. I didn’t know much
aboutanything.

“Icanhelpyouwiththat.”Shewalkedaroundthecornerthenjoinedmeontheotherside.She

woreatight,blackpencilskirtwithapinkblouse.Shehadasmallframeandnoticeablecurves.I’d
alwaysthoughtshehadanicebody.Hercalveswereparticularlynice.Theywerealwayspronounced
whensheworeheels.

Ifollowedherdowntheaislesuntilwefoundtherightsection.Thenshelookedatthedifferent

booksbymyside.“There’realottochoosefrom.”

“Doyouhaveanyrecommendations?”
“Sorry,Idon’t.Idon’tusuallyreadaboutmarketing.”
“Whatdoyouread?”
“Sorry?”
Whywasshesoskittishallthetime?“Whatdoyouread?Youknow,forfun.”
“Oh…”Shenoddedinunderstanding.“Ilikefantasynovels.”
“Likedragonsandstuff?”
Shenodded,lookingembarrassed.
“That’sreallycool.”
“Youthinkso?”Shestartedtofidgetinplace.“Youdon’tthinkI’manerd?”
“Ofcoursenot.”WhywouldI?
She nodded then stepped back. “Well, there’s the selection. Let me know if you need anything

else.”

“Thanks,Kay.”
“Anytime.”Shewalkedaway.Actually,shepracticallyran.
IwatchedherwitharaisedeyebrowbeforeIturnedmyattentiontothebooks.

***

I stayed in the library and read because I knew I wouldn’t get anything done at home. I would

drinkafewbeersandwatchwhateverwasonESPN.Atleaststayingherelimitedthedistractions.

WhenIwasfinished,IreturnedthebooktowhereIfounditandheadedbacktothefront.Kayden

wasstillthere,herglassesbackonhernose.Theywereblackwithsquareframes.Theymadeherface
lookstern,butsomehowitworkedforher.

Whenshesawmeapproach,therelaxedpostureshehaddisappeared.Sheshiftedherweightand

becametense,likeIwasanenemyratherthanafriend.

I’dknownKaydenforalongtime,soIwasn’tsurewhattheproblemwas.“Hey.Almostoff?”
“Yeah.Thelibraryclosesrightnow.”
“Cool,”Isaid.“Wanttogetsomefood?”
“Uh…”SheactedlikeIjustinvitedheronatriptoIran.“Sure.”
“Kay,istheresomethingwrong?”
“No.Whywouldanythingbewrong?”Shepulledherglassesoffandstuffedthemintoadrawer.
“You’rejust…tense?”Icouldn’texplainitright.
“Oh.I’vejusthadalongday.Don’tmindme.”
Itookherwordforit.“Whatareyouinthemoodfor?Thatpizzaplaceisjustacrossthestreet.”
“Thatworksforme.”
Weleftthelibrarythenenteredtheparlor.Afewpeoplewereinsidesharingafamily-sizepizza.I

figured Kayden and I would just split something since they didn’t sell anything by the slice.
“Combination?”

“Sure.”
I ordered the pizza and grabbed the drinks. After we filled the glasses at the drink counter, we

tookaseatatatable.

NowthatIwasalonewithKayden,Irealizedwedidn’tdoalotofstufftogether,justthetwoof

us.IsawJessieallthetime,andthatwasneverawkward.ButwithKayden,itseemedlikesomething
wasoff.Wheneverwewereinagrouptogether,Ididn’tnoticeanything,probablybecausesheandI
neverspokeone-on-one.“So…youlikethelibrary?”

“Ido.Iloveit,actually.”Shehadasoftvoice,likeaschoolteacher.
“Whatdoyouloveaboutit?”Iwasn’tunderminingher.Iwasgenuinelycurious.
Sheshrugged.“Igrewupwithbooks.It’snicetobesurroundedbythemallday.”
“Doyouliketoread?”
“Ireadallthetime.Iprobablyreadoneaweek,dependingonhowbigitis.”
Myjawdropped.“Oneaweek?Shit,Ican’treadabookinayear.”
Shechuckled.“Youreadonetoday.”
“Butthatwasafluke,”IsaidasIwavedmyhand.“I’llprobablyneverreadagaininmylifetime.”
“Whyisthat?”
“Boring.”
“Maybeyoujusthaven’tfoundagoodbook.”
“Eh.”Ishrugged.“It’shardformetositstillforlongperiodsoftime,unlessI’mwatchingTV.”
“TViskindoflikereading.You’reimmersedinastory,justonamoreintimatelevel.”
“When I say I watch TV, I mean I watch sports. So, if there’s a book about sports, then there’s

somehope.ButIdoubtit.”

Shechuckled.“Notreally.”
“Thenit’snevergonnahappen.”
Afewstrandsofhairfromherponytailfelloveroneshoulder,andshefingeredthemwithher

forefinger.

“Whatareyoudoingthisweekend?”
“Notsure,”shesaid.“ProbablysomethingwithJessieandRae.”
UnlessRaehadotherplanswithhersecrethookup.“IgotticketstoseetheWombats.Wonthem

ontheradio,actually.Youwanttocome?”

Shestoppedtouchingherhairimmediatelyandfrozeonthespot.“You’reaskingmetogotoa

concertwithyou?”

Whywasthatweird?Wedidgroupstufftogetherallthetime.“Yeah,Igotsixtickets.IfiguredI

wouldinviteeveryone.Ihaveoneextra,somaybeI’llfindahotdateorsomething.”

“Oh…”Thelightsturnedoffinhereyes,andherhandslowlymovedtoherlap.Shebrokeeye

contactandstaredatherthighs.“Yeah…thatsoundslikefun.”

Ieyedthekitchenandwonderedifourpizzawasready.“Dude,I’mstarving.”
“Yeah,metoo,”shesaidweakly.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through Facebook quickly before I looked at her again.

“Seeinganyone?”

“Uh,no.”
NowthatIthoughtaboutit,I’dneverseenKaydenwithaguybefore.Wheneverwehungout,she

neverbroughtadatealong.Itsurprisedmesinceshewasobviouslybeautiful.“Datemuch?”

“Occasionally…”Shedidn’taskmethesamequestioninreturn.
Thepizzafinallyarrived,andIwasrelievedwehadsomethingtodobesidesstareateachother

and talk…or whatever it was we were trying to do. She put one slice on her plate and ate that at a
snail’space.Iatelikeanormalpersonanddevouredhalfofitbymyself.

“How’sthebowlingalley?”sheasked.
“Prettyterrible.Idon’tknowwhatIwasthinkingwhenIboughttheplace.”
“Youwereinvestingyourmoney,”shesaid.“Ithinkthat’ssmart.Anyoneelsewouldhaveblown

thatmoneyonsomethingtheydidn’tneed,likeacaroravacation.”

Finally,someonestuckupforme.“Thanks.IjustwishIpickedsomethingbetter.”
“Youdidn’tknow,”shesaidgently.“So,itdoesn’tlooklikeit’sgoingtomakeit?”
“RaeandZekecameupwithafewideastoattractmorecustomers.Theyseemconfidentthatit’ll

work.”

“Raeisprettysmart,soIwouldlistentoher.”
“She’snotthatsmart.”Mysistermightbegoodatscience,butshewasdumbineveryotherway.

Sometimes, she turned on the blender without a lid, and other times, she left the refrigerator door
openallnight.Shelackedcommonsense,andifyouaskme,that’sthemostimportantintelligenceto
have.

“Youjustsaythatbecauseshe’syoursister.”
“Andyoujustsaythatbecauseshe’syourbestfriend.”
Kaydenshruggedindefeat.“Iguessyou’reright.”
“I’malwaysright.”
Kaydenrolledhereyes.
Ismiledbecauseshefinallyloosenedupalittle.“Youlikethepizza?”
“It’sdelicious.”
“Youmustcomehereallthetimesinceit’ssoclosetowhereyouwork.”
“I usually bring a lunch,” she said. “I love to eat out, but it doesn’t taste as good when you’re

doingitallthetime.”

Ididn’tknowwhatshewastalkingabout.Iateoutallthetimeandnevergotsickofit.Nothing

couldbeattheconvenienceofit.SometimesRaecookeddinnerandIdevouredthat,butusuallyshe
justwasn’tinthemood.

“You’resurvivinglivingwithRae?”sheasked.
“It’snotthatbad,”Isaid.“Sheyellsatmeforalotofthings…butinherdefense,she’sright.”
Kaydensmiled.“I’mtellingheryousaidthat.”
“Youbetternot.”Ithreatenedherwithjustalook.“Thisstaysbetweenus.We’refriends,right?”

Hersmileslowlyfaded,andtheglowinhereyesdimmed.“Yeah,we’refriends.”
“Well,friendskeepsecretssometimes.So,don’ttellherIsaidthat.Damn,I’dneverheartheend

ofit.”

“I’llkeepyoursecret,”shesaidquietly.
“Besides,ifsheknowsIknowshe’sright,thenshe’llyellatmeevenworsewhenIpissheroff.”
“Whatexactlydoyoudo?”
“Well, I make a mess in the kitchen and I don’t clean it up. But think about it, after you cook

something,don’tyouwanttoeatit?Youdon’twanttoletitgetcoldandgrosswhileyoudodishes.”

“Whydon’tyouwashthedishesafteryou’redoneeating?”
“BecauseI’mfullandtired…”
“Notagoodexcuse,butIgetwhatyou’resaying.”
“And I leave my dirty laundry in the laundry room, usually on the floor. She doesn’t like that

verymuch.AndIthrowmydirtytowelsonthefloorafterashower.Shegetspissedoverthattoo.”

“Raeisprettyorganized,soIunderstandherfrustration.”SometimesKaydentalkedlikearobot,

likeshewasconstantlyafraidshemightsaythewrongthingtome.Shewasthinkingaboutherwords
beforeshesaidthem—walkingoneggshells.

I blurted everything out without thinking twice about it. If someone didn’t like me, they didn’t

havetotalktome.“ButIdon’twanttochange,soI’llkeepdoingituntilImoveout.”

Kaydenchuckled.“Raewilllovethat.”
“I’m lucky she puts up with me. She threatens to throw me out almost every single day, but I

knowshe’sbluffing.”

“Idon’tknow…Ifyoupushherhardenough,shemightdoit.”
“Nah.Iknowmysisterhatesme,butshelovesmetoo.”
Kaydensmiled.“Shedoes.”
“Besides, when I’m there, I can take Safari out to do his business. So…I’m doing her a huge

favor.”

“Yes,whatwouldshedowithoutyou?”
Ifinishedthelastslicethenwipedthegreasefrommyfingertipswithanapkin.“So,you’redown

fortheshow?”

Shenodded.“I’llbethere.Thanksfortheticket.”
“Noproblem,”Isaid.“Itwouldn’tbethesamewithoutyou.”
Shestaredatmewithoutblinking.Slowly,asmilecreptontoherlips.
“Well,I’llseeyoulater.I’vegottogethomeand…getyelledatbymysister.”
Kaydenlaughedlouderthattime.“Havefun.”
“Wantmetowalkyouhome?”Iasked.“Idon’tmind.”
Shelookedlikeshemighttaketheoffer,butthenherfacequicklychanged.“It’sokay.Iusually

takeacabbecauseIdon’tlikewalkinginheelsafterstandinginthemallday.”

Inodded.“Goodthinking.I’llseeyoulater.”
“Bye,Rex.”
Ifist-poundedher,butsinceshedidn’tknowwhatIwasdoing,sheawkwardlytriedtohugme.

“Don’tworry.You’llgetitnexttime.”

ChapterFive

Rae
I walked into the hair salon and spotted Jessie at her station. “Pack up your shit and let’s go.

Happyhourendsinanhour.”

“Chill.”Jessiewrappedupthehairdryerthenreturnedittothestation.Thenshequicklyswept

thehairoffthefloorbeforetossingherapronoverthebackofthechair.“Alright.Let’sheadout.”

Weleftthesalonthenwalkeddowntheblocktoourfavoritecocktailbar.
“How was work?” I was surprised Jessie didn’t immediately ask me to spill the beans about

Ryker.Knowingher,thatwouldbetheonlythingshecaredabout.

“It was alright. I had this new client come in and she asked me to cut her hair and style it. But

whenIwasdone,shegotpissedoffandsaiditdidn’tlookgoodonher.Like,howisthatmyfault?
She’stheonewhopickedit.”

“Didsheaskforhermoneyback?”
“Yeah.”
“Didyougiveittoher?”
“Hellno.That’snothowIrunmybusiness.”
“Iwouldn’thavegivenittohereither.”
Sheputherhandsinthepocketofherjacket.“AndIdon’tcareaboutlosingaclient.Myschedule

is so booked up that it really doesn’t make a difference. Besides, I don’t want to do her hair ever
again.Fuck.That.Shit.”

Ichuckledandcrossedmyarmsovermychesttofightthecold.“Youdidtherightthing.Shecan

gosomewhereelseandmakethemsuffer.”

“Poorsoul…”
We entered the bar then got a table in the corner. We ordered our drinks, and once they were

there,wedownedthemlikeshots.

“There we go.” Jessie leaned back and sighed. “That’s what I’ve been looking forward to all

day.”

“Metoo.”Iwipedmylipswiththebackofmyforearm.
“When’sKaydencoming?”
Ieyedmywatch.“Sheshouldbeheresoon.Shesaidshewantedtoshowerafterwork.”
“Probablybecauseshesmellslikedustfromallthosebooks.”
“Yeah.” I waved down the bartender and got us two more drinks. “Half-off drinks, so I’m

orderingtwiceasmany.”

Jessieclankedherglassagainstmine.“Word.”
Kaydenenteredthebar,herblondehairgivingheraway.
“Theresheis.”Iwavedherover.
Kaydensmiledthencameourway.Shetookaseatandeyedtheemptyglasses.“Wow.Youguys

didn’twaitup.”

“Likeyouwouldn’thavedonethesame,”Jessiesaid.
Kaydenpausedforasecondbeforeshefinallynodded.“You’reright.”
“Yep.”JessiewaveddownthebartendersoKaydencouldordersomething.
Kaydengotherglassandtookalongdrink.
Jessieeyedher.“Badday?”
“Itwasjustlong.”Shedidn’tgiveanyfurtherexplanation.
Jessieturnedtome.“So,what’snewwithyou?”
Whatkindofquestionisthat?“What?Iexpectedyoutobitemyheadoffwithquestionsaboutthe

other night.” I was surprised when I didn’t even get a response the following morning after I left

Ryker ’s.

“Whathappenedtheothernight?”Jessiedeadpanned.
“You’rejoking,right?”Iasked.
Jessiepointedtoherface.“DoesitlooklikeI’mjoking?”
“Youdidn’tgetmytext?”IknowIsentit.
“Again,Ihavenoideawhatyou’retalkingabout,”Jessiesaid.
“AndIhavenoideawhat’sgoingon.”Kaydenoccupiedherselfwithherdrink.
“Theothernight,IhookedupwithRyker.Ididn’tknowwhattotellmybrotherso—”
“Who’sRyker?”Kaydenasked.
“Yeah?”Jessiesaid.
“I’ll get to that in a second,” I said quickly. “Anyway, I texted my brother and told him I was

stayingwithyousohewouldn’tgetweirdaboutit.ThenItextedyouandtoldyoutobemyalibi.”

Jessieheldupherhand,whatsheusuallydidwhenshewasabouttothrowsomeattitudemyway.

“You’reagrownwomanwhocandowhatevershewants.Whyareyoulyingtohim?Ifyouspentthe
night with some guy, you shouldn’t have to hide it. And he’s staying in your apartment. Remember
that.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Iknow.Buthealwaysgetsweirdaboutit.Always.”
“Tellhimtogrowthehellup,”Jessiesaid.“Hesleepsaround,sowhatdoesitmatterwhatyou

do?”

“Hejustcaresaboutyou,”Kaydensaid.“Youknow,theprotectivebrother.”
I didn’t care if he was brother-of-the-year. “I shouldn’t have to lie. I admit that. But he’s only

living with me temporarily, so instead of going toe-to-toe with him, I’d rather just avoid the
confrontationuntilheleaves.”

Jessieeventuallynoddedinagreement.“IguessIseeyourpoint.”
“It’sjusteasierthisway,”Isaid.“AndyouknowhowRexis.Whenhe’spissedaboutsomething,

he’llneverletitgo.”

“Ithinkhejustwantstomakesureyou’rebeingrespectedandtreatedright,”Kaydensaid.“He

doesn’twearhisheartonhissleeve,butheclearlycaresaboutyou.”

Jessierolledhereyes.“Whydoyoukeepdefendinghim?”
“I’mnot,”Kaydensaid.“I’mjustbeingthedevil’sadvocate.It’salwaysgoodtounderstandboth

pointsofview.Rexseeshimselfasafatherfigureforyou.Heclearlythinksit’shisresponsibilityto
lookafteryou.It’ssweet,actually.”

“Sweet,myass,”Isaid.“Hebecomesacontrolfreak.”
Kaydenshrugged.
“Maybeyoushouldtellhimoff,”Jessiesaid.
“Imight,”Isaid.“ButI’llwaituntilhemovesoutsoIdon’thavetoseehimeveryday.”
“Goodcall,”Jessiesaid.
“Backtomyoriginalpoint,”Isaid.“Itextedyoutocoverforme.Ispecificallytoldyounotto

tellRexIwasn’twithyouthatnight.Youdon’trememberthat?”

“Girl,ifIgotyourtext,Iwouldhaveknownit.”Jessiesippedherdrinkthenatetheolive.
“ButIknowIsentit.Checkyourphone.”
Shesighedinirritationbeforeshepulleditoutofherbag.Thensheopenedupthescreenwhere

my text messages were listed. “Look. The last message I got from you was on Monday when you
askedwhichbrandofhairdryeryoushouldget.”Shehandedittome.

Thatcouldn’tberight.Icheckedherphoneandrealizedmymessagewasn’tthere.
“Youprobablydidn’thitthesendbuttonorsomething,”Kaydensaid.“Idothatallthetime.”
IsetJessie’sphonedownbeforeIpulledoutmyown.“Iguess.Youhaven’ttalkedtoRexthen?”

“Nope,”Jessiesaid.
“Phew.” I pulled out my phone and looked at Jessie’s conversation. It wasn’t written in the text

box,whichwasstrange.Ihadn’ttextedheranythingelsesothewordsshouldstillbethereevenifI
didn’tsendthem.

“Maybeyoutextedsomeoneelse,”Kaydensaid.“IdothatallthetimewhenI’mexhausted.”
“I guess…” The only other person I texted was Rex, but there was no way I sent it to him. I

openedhisconversationthenalmostscreamed.“No!”

“What?”JessieandKaydensaidtogether.
IfRexasks,Iwaswithyoutonight.I’lltellyouthedetailslater.
“Godfuckingdammit.”Ipoundedmyfistonthetable.“IsentittoRexinstead.”
Jessie’seyeswidened.“You’reserious?”
Ithrewthephoneather.
ShecheckedthescreenandsawthesamethingIdid.“Shit…”
IcoveredmyfacebecauseIcouldn’thandlethehorror.“No.No.No.”
“Shereallysentittohim?”Kaydenasked.
“Yep,”Jessiesaid.“Anditevensayshereadit.”
“Kill. Me. Now.” I slowly lowered my hands and wanted to rest my forehead against the table

becauseIwasdepletedofallreasontolive.

“That’sawkward,”Jessiesaid.“Hashesaidanythingtoyou?”
“No.”Whichwasweird,nowthatIthoughtaboutit.
“Hmm…” Jessie set down the phone and returned to her drink. “He obviously read it, so why

hasn’theconfrontedyou?”

“He’sprobablywaitingtoambushmeattherighttime.”Nowtherewasn’tenoughalcoholinthe

worldtomakemefeelbetter.“Andjustyesterday,Iwentonandonaboutallthestuffwedidtogether
thatnight…andheknewIwaslyingtheentiretime.”

“Ouch,”Kaydensaid.“That’srough.”
“See?”Jessiesaid.“Youshouldhavejusttoldhimthetruth.”
“Notnow,”Isnapped.
“Whatareyougoingtodo?”Kaydenasked.
“I’mnotsure,”Isaid.“IguessI’lljustwaitforhimtoconfrontme.”
“Or maybe he won’t confront you at all,” Jessie said. “If you felt the need to lie to him, then

maybe he realized he’s being too involved in your personal life. Maybe he took it as a sign to step
back.”

“Maybe…butIdoubtit.”Iwishthatwerethecase.
“Whatotherexplanationisthere?”Jessieasked.
“Iguessthat’strue,”Iadmitted.
“Maybehe’sletitgoandmovedon,”Jessiesaid.“Ithasbeenafewdays.”
“True,”Isaidinagreement.
“Nowenoughofthat,”Kaydensaid.“Who’sRyker?”
“Yeah,”Jessiesaid.“Hesoundshot.”
“Heis,”Isaid.“Ohboy,heis.”
“Spillit.”Jessiesnappedherfingers.
“RememberthatguyIranintoatthepark?”Isaid.
“Yeah,”Kaydensaid.
Jessienodded.
“Well,it’shim.Apparently,hewenttohighschoolwithRexandZekesothey’refriends.Hejust

movedbackherefromNewYorksotheyreconnected.Weplayedbasketballtogether,andafterward,

heinvitedmeover.”

“Ooh…”Jessierubbedherpalmstogether.“Andhowwasit?”
“Ah-maze-ing.”Everysecondofitwasatasteofheaven.“Hehadtherightpackageandtheright

style.Ilefttherefeelingcompletelysatisfied.”

“I’mjealous,”Jessiesaid.“Areyouseeinghimagain?”
“I’msureI’llseehimaroundbecausehe’sfriendswithRex,butwearen’tgoingtogoonadate

oranything.”Wedidn’tevenexchangephonenumbers.

“That’sit?”Kaydenasked.
“Hemadeitprettyclearhewasjustlookingforaone-nightstand.AndI’mfinewiththat.I’ve

beengoingthroughadryspell,soitwasnicetohavesomethingpurelyphysical.”Nowthatwewere
talkingaboutRyker,IwasdistractedfromtheordealwithRex.

“Youdon’tthinkyou’llsleeptogetheragain?”Jessieasked.
“Nah. The one time was fun, but I don’t want to make it a regular thing. That gets too

complicated.”Feelingsgetinvolved,andit’stoohardtowalkaway.

“Soifheaskedyouout,youwouldsayno?”Jessieaskedincredulously.
“Ifheaskedmeonadate,I’dsayyesintwoseconds.Buthe’llneveraskme.I’mnotgonnahold

my breath and wait for that to happen.” Ryker was handsome and charismatic, but I knew a player
when I saw one. Guys like that never changed, and when they did, it was only for someone really
special.

AndIknewIwouldn’tbethatspecialsomeone.
Kaydennodded.“You’reright.Neverwaitaroundforaguy.”
“Hellno,”Jessiesaid.“Atleastyougotyourfixsoyoucanmoveon.”
“Yeah.AndIdefinitelydon’tregretit.Itwasnice…reallynice.”
Bothofthemlookedatmewithenvyintheireyes.
I needed to change the subject so they wouldn’t keep staring at me like that. “What about you

guys?”Iasked.“What’snewwithyou?”

***

Mr. Price came down to the lab near the end of the day. He wasn’t very old, maybe in his late

fifties, but he seemed frail. He walked slowly, like every step caused him pain. His smile wasn’t as
brightasitusedtobe.IwonderedifIwastheonlyonewhonoticed.

“How’sitgoingdownhere?”Mr.Priceapproachedmyworkbenchandleanedonthecounter.
“Prettygood.IhaveafewideasI’mworkingon.”
“You’vealwaysbeenahardworker.Iappreciatethat.”Hishairhadfallenout,andhewasnearly

bald.Heusedtobetwentypoundsoverweight,butnowhewasontheleanerside.

“Iappreciatetheopportunitytoworkhere.”COLLECTwasnicebecauseallthelabequipment

wascleanandnew.Thepaywasgreat,andthebenefitswereawesome.Ifeverythingstayedthesame,I
intendedtoworkthereforalongtime.

“You’reasweetkid.”Hepattedmeontheback.“I’mgoingtomissyou.”
“I’mgoingtomissyoutoo,Mr.Price.”Healwaysinfectedthehallswithhisbuoyantspirit.He

wasthekindofbossthatmadeyoufeelappreciated.Ineverfeltlikeasimpleemployee.Ialwaysfelt
likeaperson.“ButI’msurewe’llstillseeeachother.”

“Yeah,”hesaidquietly.“I’msurewewill.”
“Istodayyourlastday?”
Henodded.“It’sweirdtothinkIwon’tbewalkingdownthesehallsanymore…”
“I’m sure it is.” He opened this company and worked here for over thirty years. It was like a

childtohim.“Whatplansdoyouhaveforretirement?”

“Youknow,sometravelingandwhatnot.”

“Youthinkyoursonisreadytofillyourlargeshoes?”
Hechuckled.“He’llbefine.He’sexceptionallybright.I’mnotsurewherehegetsitfrom.”
“You,I’msure.”
He clapped me on the shoulder and laughed. “You’re too sweet. You’re going to make a man

veryhappysomeday.”

“Ihopeso.”
“Don’tacceptanyonelessthanthebest,”hesaid.“You’retoogoodforthat.”
Ismiled.“Thankyou.”
“Well…” He stood up straight and looked tired. “I just wanted to come down here one more

time.”

Ipulledhiminforahugandhelditforamoment.“Thankyouforeverything,Mr.Price.”
Hehuggedmetightlybeforeheletgo.“No,thankyou.”Hegavemeasmilebeforeheheadedto

theentrance.Hewalkedslowly,likehecarriedaheavyweightthatIcouldn’tsee.

***

Icamehomethateveningandwasimmediatelyonalert.Rexhadn’tconfrontedmeaboutthattext

message, and I suspected he would eventually. Waiting around was the hardest part. It was going to
leadtoafight,andIjustwantedtogetitoverwith.

Isawhiminthelivingroom.“Hey,howwasyourday?”
“Boring.Superboring.”Hedidn’tlookoverhisshouldertotalktome.Abeerwassittingonthe

table,condensationbeadingagainsttheglass.Hehadn’tbeenhimselflately.Hewasusuallytalkative,
andwhenhewasn’t,heusuallyarguedwithme.Butnowhewasdocileandquiet.

Iknewhewaspissed.“Thingswillpickup,andthenyou’llbeonyourtoesallday.”
“Maybe.”
“Well,I’mgoingtotakeashower.”Iheadedtothehallway.
“Areyouactuallygoingtoshower?”hesnapped.“Oristhatyouralibi?”Hiseyesweregluedto

theTV.

Ifrozeonthespot,realizingthemomenthadfinallycome.Isighedquietlysohecouldn’thearit

before I walked into the living room. It was stupid to feel uneasy. It was my personal life, and he
shouldn’tstickhisnoseinitatall.Butanytimemybrotherwasupset,itputmeonedge.

Rexrefusedtolookatme.Hedidn’tevenglancemyway.
Isatontheothercouch,notwantingtobetooclosetohim.
“What?”hesaid.“Youaren’tsure?”
Iheldmysilence.
HefinallylookedatmewhenIremainedunresponsive.Therewasangerinhiseyesaswellas

disappointment.“Sinceyouweren’twithJessietheothernight,wherewereyoureally?”

Ididn’tbotheractinginnocent.
“Hmm?”heasked.“Orareyougoingtolietomeagain?”
“Rex,whereIwasisnoneofyourbusiness,soI’mnotgoingtoanswer.”
Heclenchedhisjaw.
“I’msorryIliedtoyou.Ijustdidn’tknowwhatelsetosay.”
Herosetohisfeetquicklylikehecouldn’tsitstill.“IknowyouandIbuttheadsalot.We’reboth

argumentativeandconfrontational.Butyou’retheonepersoninthisworldIcanrelyon.You’rethe
onepersonwhodoesn’tlietome.Butthenyoudid.Thebestthingaboutourrelationshipisourbrutal
honesty.Idon’thideanythingfromyou,andI’mhurtyouwouldlietomelikethat.”

Nowhewasmakingmefeelguilty.“Ishouldn’thavelied.Iknow.Butyouneedtostopsticking

yournoseinmypersonallife.I’magrownwomanwithabiggirljob.WhatIdoisabsolutelynone
ofyourbusiness.YouhavenorighttointerrogateeveryguyIdateandchasehimoff.It’scompletely

unacceptable.Ifyoudidn’tactthatway,thenIwouldn’thaveliedatall.”

“Rae, I’m just looking after you. Every guy that comes through that door needs to know they

can’tmesswithyou.That’smyjob.”

“No, it’s not.” I rose to my feet, feeling the anger kick in. “Rex, you aren’t my dad. You don’t

needtoactthatway.”

“Yes,Ido.I’mallyouhave.”
“I appreciate what you’re doing, but I’m a big girl who can take care of herself. I don’t need

someonetolookafterme.Frankly,it’sweirdwhenyouaskmeaboutguysI’mseeingorpushthem
aroundwhenyouseethemthefollowingmorning.It’sreallyweird.Iwantyoutostayoutofitfrom
nowon.Idon’taskaboutyourpersonallifeorgetinvolvedatall.Youneedtobuttoutofmine.”

Hecrossedhisarmsoverhischest,thesameexpressiononhisface.
“IonlyliedbecauseIdidn’twanttoexplainwhereIwasorwhatIwasdoing.It’sawkward,andit

makesmeuncomfortable.”

“WereyouwithRyker?”Thedarknessinhiseyestoldmehewouldbepissedifmyanswerwas

yes.

“Rex,it’snoneofyourbusinesswhoIwaswith.”
“He’s not a good guy, Rae. He’s my friend and everything, but he’s not the kind of guy you

shoulddate.He’sonlyafteronething,andwhenhegetsit,that’sit.He’sgone.”

“YouthinkIdidn’tknowthat?”Iaskedincredulously.“I’mnotoblivioustotheworldaroundme.

I understand what’s going on. Ultimately, it’s my decision if I want to get involved with him, not
yours.”

“So,youwerewithhim?”hepressed.
“That’snotwhatIsaid.”
“Well,wereyou?”
“Rex,itdoesn’tmatter.MaybeIwaswithanotherguy.Idon’ttellyouaboutmypersonallife,so

youreallyhavenoideawhoitcouldhavebeen.Stopaskingmestufflikethat,andjustdropit.”

Hesighedlikethatwasthemostdifficultthingintheworld.
“Rex,Iloveyou.I’llalwaysbehereforyou.You’retheonlyfamilyIhaveleft,andI’llalways

cherishwhatwehave.ButI’mnotgoingtobudgeonthis.Youneedtobackoff.Imeanit.”

Hisangerstartedtodwindlewitheverypassingsecond.Hesighedagain,likeheknewwhatIwas

sayingwasthetruth.“Itreallyhurtmewhenyouliedtome.Idon’twantyoutolietomeeveragain.”

“That’sfair.Iwon’t.”
“Okay.”
“And?”Hebettermeetmehalfway.
“You’reright.Whatyoudoprivatelyisnoneofmybusiness.Iknowyouaren’takidanymore,

soyoudon’tneedmetolookafteryou.Igetit.Ido.”

ThatwasbetterthanIhopedfor.
“Imeantwell.Ijustwantthebestforyou.Whoeveryouendupwithneedstobetheperfectguy

ineverywayimaginable.Ijust…Itookittoofar.I’mconstantlytryingtoprotectyoubecauseIforget
thatyoudon’tneedmetoprotectyouanymore.”

“Thankyou.”
“It’sjust…”Herubbedthebackofhisneck.“IhadtotakecareofyouwhenIturnedeighteen.I

didn’tknowanythingaboutraisingakidorbeingresponsibleforsomeoneelse.Icouldbarelytake
careofmyself.AfterItookyouundermywing,Istartedtolookatyouinadifferentway…likeyou
weremykidorsomething.IguessI’llalwayshavethatmindset,makingsureyouarehappyandhave
everythingyouneed.”

Itwashardtostaymadathimwhenhesaidthingslikethat.“Iknow…”

“Wereallygoatitsometimes,butIloveyou.”Hedidn’tlookatmeashesaidit.“I’lltrytobe

betterfromnowon.I’llbackoffandjustbeyourbrother.It’lljust…takemesomegettingusedto.”

ThatwasallIaskedfor.“Thankyou.”
Heputhishandsinhispocketsandstoodthereawkwardly.“So,nomorelies?”
Ishookmyhead.“Nomorelies.”
Henoddedandcontinuedtostandthere.“Shouldwehugorsomething?”
Ismiledbecausethetensionfinallyleft.“Ithinkwecanhug…thisonetime.”Icrossedtheliving

roomandhuggedhimaroundthewaist.

Hereturnedmyembraceandrestedhischinonmyhead.“It’syouandmeagainsttheworld,Rae.

Andit’llalwaysbeyouandme.”

***

“Thenewguystartedtoday.”Jennymadenotesinherlabbookbeforesheshutitforcefully.
“Whatnewguy?”
“ThenewCEO.”Sherolledhereyes.“Let’sseehowhedemolishesthisplace.”
“Youknow,you’reawfullyprejudicedagainstsomeoneyou’venevermet.”
Sherolledhereyesagain,dramatically.“Hisresumetellsmeallweneedtoknow.”
“Mr.Priceissosweet.Ican’tseehimhavingasonthat’sanydifferent.”

“Youjusthaveathingforoldmen.”

“Donot,”Iargued.
“Whatever,”shesaid.“Youthinkhe’sthecutestthingintheworld.”
“Well, other than Safari, he is pretty cute. He said goodbye to me the other day, and it was so

sad…”

“You’llbemoresadwhenthisguyputsyououtofajob.”
Sinceshewassetinherways,Ididn’tbothertryingtochangeheropinion.Honestly,Idoubted

wewouldevenknowsomeonenewwasrunningtheplace.JennyandIstayedinthelaballday,andwe
didn’tcrosspathswithotherworkersinthecompany.Wewereprettymuchquarantined.

“He might get rid of the research program altogether,” Jenny said. “It’s not like we make the

companyanymoney.”

“That’snottrue.We’realwaysfindingwaystoimprovethesystem.”
“Buthemaynotthinkit’sworthwhile.”
Ieyedtheclockonthewall.“Jenny,whydon’tyoutakelunch?”Hernegativitywasstartingto

getonmynerves.

Sheputherhandsonherhipsassheconsideredit.“Youknowwhat?Icoulduseacigarette.”
“Thosethingswillkillyou.”
Sheshruggedasshegrabbedherpurse.“I’mprobablygoingtodieyounganyway.”Sheheaded

upthestairsandleftthelab.

Ikeptworkingonmytitrationswhentheofficephonerang.Itookthecallandputitonspeaker.

“It’sRae.”

“Hey,it’sme.”Jessie’sbossyvoicecamethroughthephone.“Canyoutalk?”
“Yep.I’vegotyouonspeakerandthere’snooneelsehere.”
“Great.So,whathappenedwithRex?”
“Wegotintoafightbutwemadeup.”
“That’sit?”sheasked.“Itmusthavebeenjuicierthanthat.”
IpausedtodoaquickcalculationthenIkeptgoing.“HewasprettyupsetthatIliedtohim.He

sayshedoesn’twanttohavearelationshiplikethat.”

“Thenyoutoldhimoff?”
“Prettymuch.Thankfully,heagreedtobackoff.Thenhetalkedabouthowdauntingitwastotake

careofmewhenMomdied.Thatgotalittleemotional…”

“Awe.”
“Webothapologizedandagreedtomoveon.Heevenhuggedme.”
“Wow,”shesaid.“That’sthefirstoneever,right?”
Ilaughed.“Idon’tknowaboutthefirst,butit’soneoftherarefew.”
Thedooratthetopofthestairsopened,andIhearditshutbehindwhoevercameinside.Itcould

havebeenJennybecausesheforgotsomethingoritcouldhavebeensomeoneelseentirely.“Jessie,
I’vegottogo.I’lltalktoyoulater.”

“Bye,girl.Loveyou.”
“Love you too.” I hit the end button then ripped off my gloves so I could put on a clean pair.

WhenIturnedaroundtograbthebox,Istoppedinmytracksatthesightbeforemyeyes.

Rykerstoodthereinablackdesignersuit.Heworeagraytiethatbroughtoutthebrightnessof

his eyes. The usual scruff on his face was gone because he shaved that morning. He seemed just as
surprisedtoseemeasIwastoseehim.“Uh,hi…”

Hestoodwithhishandsinhispockets,takingmein.
“You’rethenewCEO?”Howwasthatpossible?
He finally came back to earth and stepped closer to me, retaining his coolness. “Yes.

Unfortunately.”

Ifeltself-consciousinmylabcoatandhalf-assedbun.Theonlypersonwhoeversawmedown

herewasJenny.Andsheusuallylookedlikehelltoo.“I…Ididn’trealizethat.”

“Well,Ididn’tknowyouworkedhereeither.Iguesswe’rebothsurprised.”
“Yeah.”Whydidn’tRextellmethat?Heobviouslyknew.Whatwashethinking?
Ryker scratched his chin before he returned his hand to his pocket. “I’ve been going to all the

departmentstointroducemyself.Iknowthischangehasbeendifficultoneverybody.AllIeverhearis
howgreatmyfatheris.”

“Heis,”Isaidinagreement.“He’soneofthesweetest,mostgenerousmenI’veeverknown.”
Rykerstaredatmewithoutanyreaction.
“ButI’msureyou’lldogreattoo.”
“Hopefully.”Hecameclosertomyworkbenchthenlookedaroundthelab.“Thisiswhereyou

doallyourresearch?”

“Yeah.It’sanicespace.Yourfathergaveusalltheequipmentandspaceweneeded.”
Henodded.“Healwayssaidtheresearchdepartmentwasthemostimportantone.”
Hedid?“Thatwassweetofhimtosay.”
Rykerstaredatthetitrationequipmenthanginginfrontofme,seeminglyperplexedbythewayit

worked.Thenhisgreeneyesturnedbacktome,deeplikethemossonthenorthsideoftrees.“Onto
anythingIshouldknowabout?”

“I am working on a project right now, but I’ll tell you about it once I have promising data.

There’snoreasontogetyourhopesup.”

“Areyoutheonlyonedownhere?”
“No.Jennyisheretoday,butshe’satlunch.Therearetwootherresearcherstoo.”
“IguessI’llhavetostopbyandseethemanothertime.”
“Yeah,thatwouldbenice.”ItwasthefirsttimeI’dseenhiminasuit,andhelookeddamngood

init.Memoriesofournighttogetherplayedinmymind.Hewasanexceptionalkisser,thekindthat
meltedyourpantiesrightoffyourlegs.Andthewayhefeltinsidemewasunforgettable.Thatnight
wasjustaone-timething,butitwasstillfuntothinkabout.

Hemusthavebeenthinkingaboutittoobecausetherewasaslightsmileonhislips.“Rexinvited

metoseeTheWombatswithyouguysthisweekend.”

“Hedid?”

“Yeah.IsitcoolifItagalong?”
“Sure.IjusthavetowarnyouthatI’mreallyloud,andImovearoundalot.”
Aknowinglookwasinhiseyes.“Yeah…Iknewthat.”
Mycheeksimmediatelyfloodedwithheat.
Heglancedoverhisshoulderatthedoorbeforehecameclosertome.“Sinceweworktogether,

and I’m friends with your brother, maybe we should talk about what happened. Is everything okay
betweenus?”

“Ofcourse.”Whywouldn’titbe?
Hewatchedmyfaceforalie.
“It was a lot of fun, but when you try to do the same thing again, it’s never as good as you

rememberit.”

Hetiltedhisheadslightly.
“Iwouldloveitifwecouldbefriends.Ialreadylikeyou,andI’mprettysureyoulikeme.”
“Idolikeyou.”
“Thenthepastisinthepast.Itcanbeourlittlesecret.”Iextendedmyhandtoshakehis.
Heeyeditwithouttakingit.“Andthat’sit?”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Youdon’twanttoseemeagain?Youdon’texpectanything?”
“IfIdid,thisconversationwouldhavegonemuchdifferently.”
Hefinallytookmyhand.Thewarmthofhisfingersfeltgoodonmine.Icoulddetectthedryness

ofhisskin.Irememberedthewayhispalmsfeltastheysqueezedmytits.

Ipulledmyhandawayandbrokethecontact.“So,isthereanythingyouwanttoknowaboutthe

company?Somethingyourfatherdidn’texplain?”

“No.IthinkI’mgood.”
“Well,I’malwayshereifyouhaveaquestion.IknowIworkinthelab,butIknowafewthings.”
“I’msureyoudo.”Hecontinuedtostandthereeventhoughitseemedliketheconversationwas

over.

The clock was ticking, and I had my specimens to run. In addition to that, I had to report

everything in my lab report. It was a lot of tedious work because it was time-consuming. “Well, I
shouldgetbacktowork.I’llseeyouonSaturday.”

Herappedhisknucklesagainstthecountergentlybeforehesteppedback.“Ilookforwardtoit.”

***

“Whydidn’tyoutellmeRykerwastakingoverCOLLECT?”ItwasthefirstthingIsaidwhenI

walkedinthedoor.

Rexstoodatthecounterwithameatballsandwichinhishands.Hewasabouttotakeabitebefore

hewasinterrupted.“Huh?”

“RykeristhenewCEOofCOLLECT.Whydidn’tyoutellme?”
He eyed his sandwich, like he was sad he couldn’t eat it because he had to talk. “I thought you

knew.”

“HowwouldIknowthat?”
Heshrugged.“Youguyshangout.Iassumedhetoldyou.”
Iwantedtoslaphimupsidetheheadsometimes.“Youdidn’tevenmentionitinpassing.”
“Sorry. Geez.” He finally took a bite of his sandwich, but the hot meatball and sauce melted

throughthebreadandcheeseandfellonthefloor.Helookedupatme,fireburninginhiseyes.“I
hateyou.”

Igrabbedapapertowelandpickedupthemess.“FinisheatingthenI’llyellatyou.”Itossedthe

papertowelandthemeatballinthegarbage.

“Whatareyoudoing?”hescreamed.“Don’tthrowthataway.”
“Itfellonthefloor.Safariliesthere.That’sdisgusting.”
“It’sstillfood.”Hefisheditoutthenshoveditbackintohissandwich.
Icringedandfeltthevomitrise.“That’ssogross.”
Heatehalfofitinonebite.“Mmm…tastesdelicioustome.”Hesatatthekitchentableandkept

eating.

My brother was so disgusting. I didn’t understand how he came home every weekend with a

differentgirl.Imean,didtheytalktohim?Didtheyknowhowweirdhewas?

Isatacrossfromhimandwaiteduntilhewasfinishedwithhissandwich.“Canyoutalknow?”
“There’renomoremeatballssothefloorisopen.”Hehadsaucesmearedacrosshisface.
Iwaitedforhimtowipeitoff.
Heopenedabagofchipsandstartedeating,oblivioustotheshitonhisface.
“Rex.”Ipointedtothecornerofmymouth.“Youhavesauceeverywhere.”
“Eh.I’mstilleating.I’llgetitlater.”
WhydidIbother?
“Whatwereyousaying?”
“Rykersaidyouinvitedhimtotheconcert.”
“Yeah.Isthatcool?”
“Idon’tcare.”Itdidn’tseemawkwardbetweenRykerandme,sothereshouldn’tbeanyproblem.
“So…are you seeing him?” He looked into his bag of chips and avoided eye contact with me.

“I’mjustaskingoutofcuriositysoIknowwhattosaywhenI’maroundhim.”

“No,I’mnotseeinghim.”
Hedidn’thidethereliefonhisface.“Okay.”
“RykerandIarejustfriends.We’llprobablygetclosersinceweworktogether.Butthat’sabout

it.”

“Allthegirlslikehim.”
“Yeah,I’mnotsurprised.”Hehaditall.Hehadmoney,looks,andsmarts—thewholepackage.

Nottomention,hewasamazinginbed.Andwhenhelethiswallsdown,hewasactuallyprettyfunny.

“Andhe’saheartbreaker.ThatguyhasneverhadagirlfriendsincethedayImethim.Theyjust

comeandgo.”

“I figured.” I understood it, but I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. I didn’t think there was

anything wrong with one-night stands or casual sex but to avoid relationships altogether was
downrightlonely.Guyshadcomeandgoneinmylife,butjustbecausetheydidn’tlastforeverdidn’t
meanthoserelationshipsmeantnothingtome.

“I’mgladyougetthegist.He’snogoodforyou.”
Igavehimthestink-eye.
“Imean…dowhateveryouwant.”

***

Iworedarkjeansandashinyblacktoptotheshow.IcurledmyhairandleftitdownsoIcould

flingiteverywhereasIrockedout.TheWombatswereanewfavoriteofmine,andIwasexcitedto
shakemyassattheconcert.

IopenedthedoortoseeZekeontheotherside.“Hey,areyouexcited?”
Helookedmeupanddown.“Youlookhot.”
“Oh.”Iglancedatmyselfautomatically.“Thanks.Youlooktastyyourself.”
Heworeashort-sleevegrayt-shirtthatshowedoffhisnicearms.Zekewaslikeabrothertome,

but I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he was good-looking. Anytime we went anywhere, girls cast

theirlookshisway.Andsometimes,theyaskedifIwashisgirlfriendbeforetheyputthemoveson
him.“Isthebeautyqueenreadytogo?”

Rexshoutedfromhisbedroom,“Shutthehellup,bitch.”
Zekechuckled.“Iguessthat’sano.”
SafaricametothedoorwearingthatsamesadlookonhisfaceaseverytimeIleftthehouse.
“Sweetheart,I’llbehomelater.”Igavehimagoodrubdownsohewouldfeelloved.
Hewhinedquietly.
“Don’tworry.I’llbesleepingwithyoutonight.”Ikissedhimonthenose.
Hewhinedagain.
Zekewatchedourinteraction.“It’slikeheunderstandsyousometimes.”
“Hedoes.”IstoodupthenshovedmycashandIDintomypocket.“Rex,hurrythehellup.I’m

notgoingtobelate.”

“Shutup.”Rexcamedownthehallwayinjeansandahoodie.“I’mcoming.Geez.”
“Let’sheadout.”IgaveSafarianotherpatontheheadbeforeIwalkedoutwiththeguys.
“Gotthetickets?”Zekeasked.
“Yeah,”Rexsaid.“I’vegottheminmypocket.”
Welefttheapartmentthentookacabtothestadium.Itwasjustafifteen-minutedrive,andwhen

wegotout,wesawtheline.

“JessieandKaydenarealreadyhere,”Isaid.
“Sweet,”Rexsaid.“Wecancutinline.”
“Iknewthosegirlsweregoodforsomething,”Zekesaid.
Welocatedtheothertwothenjoinedtheminline.
“Ohmygod.”Jessiejumpedupanddown.“Howexcitedareyou?”
“Superduper.”Iclappedmyhandsexcitedly.
“I’mgoingtogetaWombathat,”Kaydensaid.“I’mgoingtolooksocute.”
“Ooh…maybeI’llgetonetoo.”I’dlooklikeaweirdobutwhatever.
Rexeyedhisphonebeforeheansweredit.“Yo,whereareyou?”
HemustbetalkingtoRyker.
“We’re toward the front of the line,” Rex said. “Some of our friends got here early. Just keep

movingupuntilyouseeme.”Hehungupandshovedthephonebackintohispocket.

“Whoelseiscoming?”Jessieasked.
“Ryker.”
“Ooh…interesting.”Jessiehadadevilishlookonherface.“So,doesthegirlcodeapplyhere?

Yousleptwithhimsohe’sofflimits.”

“Notreally,”Isaid.“He’saplayer,soIdon’tthinkitmatters.”
“Really?”sheasked.
“Yep,”Isaid.“Youcanhavehim.”
“Sweet,”Jessiesaid.“Nowthisconcertjustgotbetter.”
Rexwavedwhenhespottedhim.“Yo,overhere.”
Ryker joined our group. He wore dark jeans that hung low on his hips with a black t-shirt. He

lookedgoodinanythinghewore.Andhelookedparticularlygoodnaked.“Hey,thanksforlettingme
tagalong.”

KaydenandJessiebothstaredathimlikehewastoogoodtobetrue.
Jessiepulledmyeartoherlips.“Oh.My.God.”
“Iknow,”Isaidwithanod.
“Andyou’retotallyfinewithmegoingforhim?”Jessieasked.“BecauseI’mgonna.”
Ilaughed.“He’sallyours.”

Jessielookeduptotheheavens.“ThankGod.”
Rykerintroducedhimselftothegirls.Theyshookhishandwithweakgrips,mesmerizedbyhow

prettyhewas.

I was still attracted to Ryker, but my infatuation stopped after I got my kicks. I explored that

avenueasfarasitwouldgo.ThenIhitadead-end.Iwasn’tthetypeofgirltokeeprammingintoa
brickwalluntilitcamedown.I’dratherturnaroundandfindadifferentroute.

Rykerstoodbesideme.“Excited?”
“Youknowit.”
“So,Iguessthatmeanswe’recoworkers.”
Ilaughed.“No,you’remyboss.IguessIcan’tgetthathammeredtonight.”
“It’sokay,”hesaid.“Idon’tlikestiffemployeesanyway.Besides,mydadisreallyfondofyou.

He’dbedisappointedinmeifIletyougo.”

“Inthatcase,I’llprobablybestealingalotofpaperclipsandpens.”
Helaughed,showinghisnicesmile.
Wemovedtothefrontofthelineandhandedoverourtickets.Thenwefiledintothestadiumand

found our seats on the floor. We were just ten rows back so we were close. I didn’t need to worry
aboutanyheadsgettinginmyway.

IwassittingbetweenZekeandRex.OntheothersideofRexwasRyker.Jessiesatbesidehim.

Shewasmakingitalittleobviousshewasinterestedinhim.Playingitcoolwasthebestwaytogo,
butJessiehadherownapproach.Shehadtheperfecthairandbody,soshedidn’tneedtoworryabout
playinggames.Ifshewantedsomething,shejusttookit.

Iwasn’tsoblessed.
“Ican’tbelieveyousleptwithhim,”Kaydensaid.“He’ssoooofine.”
“Iknow.”I’dprobablypicturethatnightwhenIhadasessionwithmyvibrator.
“Andyou’regoingtoletJessiescoophimup?”
“Ireallydon’tmind.He’snotboyfriendmaterial.”
“Theperfectonesneverare…”
Therewasanopeningbandthatplayedfornearlyanhour.Ioccupiedmyselfbyeatingnachos

anddrinkingCoke.Zekesplititwithme,andhekepteatingallthegoodparts,wherethechipswere
almostcompletelycoveredwithmeltedcheese.

“Dude,getyourown.”
“Why?”heasked.“Icanjustbeafreeloader.It’smucheasier.”
“You’readoctor.Ishouldbemoochingoffofyou.”
“IthoughtIwasn’tarealdoctor,”heteased.“Youcan’tplayitbothways.”
I shoved the rest of the nachos into my mouth and tried to get them down. “Now you can’t eat

them.”Itriedtalkingwithmymouthfull,butitwasdifficult.

“Ihopeyouchokeonthat.”
Imanagedtogeteverythingdownafteradrinkofmysoda.
Zekeeyedhiswatch.“Ihopeitstartssoon.”
“Why?Isyourbedtimesoon?”
Hegavemeaglarebeforehetickledme.“Whatdidyousay,punk?”
Ilaughedthenpushedhimoff.“Okay,okay.I’msorry.”Isatforwardandcrossedmylegs.
“That’swhatIthought,”Zekesaid.
Ifelteyesdrillintome,andIcouldtellwhichdirectiontheywerecomingfrom.WhenIturned

totheleft,IsawRykerstaringatme.Heheldthegazewithoutlookingaway.Iwastheonewhoturned
first.

Itwasweird.

Thebandfinallycameoutandtheshowbegan.Theyimmediatelyplayedalltheirbestsingles,

andthat’swhenIstartedjumpingaroundandsingingatthesametime.Kaydenwasintothemusictoo.
Zekewasfunnomatterwhatwedid,sohesangalongwithme.

Rexstoodthere,almostlookingbored.
Rykerwatchedtheband,lookingcoolandindifferent.Jessiekeptclappingandtappingherhip

againsthis.Hishandswereinhispockets,andeveryfewseconds,hiseyesmovedtomine.

Eventually,Ifacedtheotherwaysooureyeswouldn’tcrosspathsanymore.Ididn’twanthimto

thinkIwaslookingathim.Ireallywasn’t.Ijustkeptfeelinghimlookingatme.

Zekegrabbedmyhandandstartedtospinmeinplaceaswedancedtogether.Wewerehavingso

muchfunthatIforgotaboutRyker ’sdriftinglooksandjusthadagoodtime.Thebeer,nachos,and
sodawereallkickinginatthesametime.

AndIgotlostinthemusic.

***

Iwasdeadtiredaftertheconcert.AllIwantedtodowascurlupwithSafariandgotosleep.All

thejumpingaroundandsingingwipedmeout.Therewasn’tenoughcoffeeintheworldtokeepme
awake.

We stood in the endless line as we tried to file out of the stadium. It stretched on forever, so I

knewwewouldbethereforawhile.Gettingacabwouldbenearlyimpossible.

“Youholdingup,champ?”Zekeasked.
I rubbed the corner of my eye. “Just tired.” I yawned loudly, feeling my eyes moisten in

response.

“Wantmetocarryyou?”
Asarcasticlaughescapedmylips.“No,it’sokay.I’mnotachild.”
“Youweighasmuchasachild.”
“Maybeonethatdevelopedearly.”
We slowly moved to the front of the line. After thirty minutes of standing around, we finally

reachedthesidewalk.

“We’renevergoingtogetacabnow,”Rexsaid.“We’llgettherequickerifwewalk.”
Walkhome?I’drathersleeponthesidewalk.
“Idrove,”Rykersaid.“Icantakesomeonewithme.”
Jessietwirledherhairandbattedhereyelashes.
“Well,JessieandIcameinmycar,”Kaydensaid.“Whataboutyouguys?”
“Wetookacab,”Rexsaid.“Whydon’tyouguystakeKayden’scar,andwe’llgowithRyker?”
“It’satwo-seater,”Rykersaid.“So,Icanonlytakeoneperson.”Hiseyesmovedtomine.
Iwastootiredtothinkandsolvethisproblem.
“Raelooksexhausted,”Rykersaid.“I’lltakeherwhiletherestofyoutakeKayden’scar.”
Jessie’sexcitedlookimmediatelydisappeared.Shecrossedherarmsoverherchestandpouted

inprotest.

“Raecanstaywithus,”Zekesaid.“Rexwillgowithyou.”
Rykermethislookwhilekeepinghisthoughtsbehindhiseyes.
Zekedidthesame.
NowIfeltlikeIhadtwoprotectivebrothers.“Look,I’mtootiredforthisrightnow.I’llgowith

Ryker,andyouguystakeKayden’scar.Endofstory.”IwalkedtoRyker,feelingsluggishandgroggy.

Rexwouldnormallyargue,buthewasmakinganefforttobackoff.“We’llmeetyouthere.”He

turnedaroundwiththeothersandheadedforthecar.

Ryker walked with me, and then he snaked his arm around my waist. “You look like a zombie

rightnow.”

“Iknow…”Ileanedintohissideandrestedmyfaceagainsthischest.
Hechuckled.“Youreallydancedyourassofftonight.”
“Yeah,Itendtodothat.”
“Youcold?”
“No,justsleepy.”

He guided me to his car in the parking lot. When we approached the Lamborghini, I squinted at it.
“Youdrivethis?”

“Yep.”Hehitabuttononthepassengerdooranditmovedupward.
Iwatcheditrise.“Whoa…”
Hegrabbedmyhandandhelpedmeinside.“Youcanbuckleup,right?”
“Yeah.” I leaned back with my eyes closed and felt for the strap with my hands. When I found

them,Ibuckledthemtogether.

Ryker hit the button, and the door began to close again. After he came around to the driver ’s

side,hestartedthecarandlefttheparkinglot.

IlookedoutthewindowforawhileuntilIcouldn’tkeepmyeyesopen.Theyclosed,andIwas

tootiredtoopenthemagain.

“Wanttogotomyplace?”
Hisplace?“Why?”
“It’scloser,andthere’slesswalkinginvolved.”
I liked the less walking part. But I didn’t want to have to leave his apartment the next day and

comehome.Besides,itwasalittleweirdifIstayedthere.“Nah.Myplaceisfine.”

***

WhenIwokeup,thedoorwasopenandRykerwashelpingmeout.“Homesweethome.”
“Yes.Mybedissoclose.”
Heputhisarmaroundmywaistandwalkedmeinsidetheapartmentbuilding.“So…areyouand

Zekeathing?”

“MeandZeke?”Iblurted.
“Yeah.”Hewalkedwithmeupthestairstotheeighthlanding.
“No,”Isaidquickly.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Itjustseemedlikesomethingwasthere.”
“He’sjustprotectiveofmebecauseI’mlikealittlesistertohim.”
“Andthat’sit?”Heseemedincredulous.
Wefinallyreachedmyfloor.“Incaseyouhaven’tnoticed,I’mveryclosewithmyfriends.”
“Andmaybeyouhaven’tnoticedhowcloseZekeistoyou.”
WasIjustreallytiredordidthatnotmakeanysense?“What?”
“Nevermind.”Heguidedmetomydoor.“Youhavethekey?”
Istuckmyhandintomypocketandsearchedforit.“Yeah…”Myfingerskeptsearching,butI

didn’tfinditanywhere.

Rykerwatchedmymovements.“Didyoulosethem?”
“No.IthinkIforgotthem.”WhydidIhavetobesostupidrightnow?
“That’snotgood.”
“It’sokay.Rexwillbehomeinthenexthalfhour.I’lljustsleepbythedoor.”
“Andyouthinkthat’sagoodidea?”Thesarcasmwasheavy.
“Therearen’ttoomanyweirdosinmybuilding.I’llbefine.”Isliddowntothefloorandleaned

againstthewall.Myeyeswerelidded.“Youcango.Youdon’thavetostayherewithme.”

Rykerdidn’tstepaway,buthepulledouthisphone.Hemadeacall,andIguesseditwastoRex.

“Hey,howfarawayareyou?”

Rex’s voice came over the line. “Like, a zillion hours away. There was an accident on the

freeway,andwe’restuckindeadtraffic.”

“Really?”Rykerasked.“BecauseRaeforgotherkeytotheapartment.We’restandingoutsideit

now.”

“Well,it’sgoingtobeatleastanhourandahalf,butI’mguessingtwo.”
“Okay.”
Thewallwasn’tthemostcomfortableplaceintheworld,butIcouldsleepthereifIhadto.
“I’mtakingherbacktomyplace.Shewantstosleepoutsidetheapartment,butI’mnotgonnado

that.”

“That’sfine,”Rexsaid.“I’msorrymysisterissostupid.”
“It’sokay,”Rykersaidwithachuckle.Hehungupthenstuffedhisphoneintohispocket.“Did

youhearallofthat?”

“Yeah.”
“Thenlet’sheadtomyplace.”
“Ugh…”
Hegrabbedmyhandandhelpedmeup.“Ihatetoimaginehowmuchworseyouarewhenyou’re

drunk.”

“Youcouldn’thandleme.”

***

Theelevatortookusdirectlytohisapartmentandintohislivingroom.
“Man,IwishIhadthatinmyapartment.”
Rykerchuckledbeforeheguidedmeinside.
IheadedstraightforthelargecouchinfrontofhisTV.Therewasablanketjustoverthebackof

thecouch,andIplannedtosnugglewiththatsinceSafariwasn’taround.

Rykerpulledmeaway.“Comewithme.”
“Idon’tneedaguestroom.Thecouchisfine.”Andit’scloser.
Rykertookmeintohisbedroom,whereheimmediatelystartedstrippingdowntohisboxers.
“Uh,what’sgoingonhere?”
“Shh.Justgetintobed.”Hepulledmyshirtovermyheadthenremovedmyjeans.
Iwastootiredtocare,andhe’dalreadyseenmenakedsotherewerenosurprises.
Helaidmeonthebedthenpulledthesheetsdownbeforehetuckedmein.
Oncemybackwasonthemattress,Irememberedjusthowcomfortableitwas.Thesheetswere

madeofsilk,andtheblanketskeptmybodywarmfromthecoldthatpressedagainstthewindows.

Rykergotintobedwithmethenpressedhischestagainstmyback.Hisarmhookedacrossmy

chestandreachedtheoppositeshoulder.Withoutthinking,myhandautomaticallyrestedontopofhis.

ThenIfellasleep.

***

BeforeIopenedmyeyes,Iknewitwasnoon.Thesunwasshiningthroughthewindows.Itwas

unusuallywarmforSeattle.Mymindwasawakeandreadyfortheday,butIdidn’twanttomove.

ThenIrememberedwhereIwas.
Myeyesopened,andIsawthethickarmwrappedaroundme.Ryker ’sgentlebreathsfellonthe

backofmyneck.Hisscentwashedoverme,andIcouldfeelhischestbrushingagainstmybackwith
everybreathhetook.

Whatthehell?
Islowlymovedfromhisarms,wantingtoleavewithoutwakinghim.Hisarmslidpastmybody

then fell on the bed. I got to the edge and looked around for my clothes. They were missing, and I
couldn’tbelieveevenmypantiesweregone.

Whywasn’tIwearingthem?
DidIsleepwithhimagain?
IwasprettysureIdidn’t.
JustwhenIwasabouttostandup,astronghandgrabbedmebythewristandpulledmebackto

bed.IturnedovertoseeRykerstaringatme.Hisgreeneyesweredullfromsleep.Hishairwasmessy
fromrollingaroundonthesheets.Thesleepylookinhiseyeswassexy.Whydidn’tIeverlooklike
thatwhenIwokeup?“Goingsomewhere?”

“Iwastryingtosneakout.”Iblurtedoutthetruthwithoutthinkingaboutit.
“Withoutsayinggoodmorning?”
“Yep.”
Hesmiledlikedhewasamused.“Well,I’mgladIstoppedyou.”Hisarmmovedaroundmywaist

thenhekissedmyneckandjawline.

Hiskissesfeltgoodlikelasttime,butalsointrusive.“Whoa,whatareyoudoing?”
Hemovedhislipstomyear.“Whatdoesitlooklike?”Hemovedovermeandrankissesalong

myjawuntilhefoundmylips.Hegavemeaslowkissfullofpurpose.

Mylogicalmindbecameblurryforasecond.“Ishouldgo…”
“Oryoucouldstay.”
“ImustlooklikeRobZombierightnow.”Myhairwasprobablyabedofknots,andmymakeup

mademeaperfectextraonTheWalkingDead.

“Notatall.”Hebrushedhislipspastmine.“Youlookbeautiful.”HesaiditwithsuchsincerityI

lostmytrainofthought.“Ilikethewayyoulookinthemorning.”

“Youdo?”Myhandsdriftedtohisbiceps,notingtheprominentmusclesthere.Iwaslosingmy

trainofthoughtagain.Rykerdistractedmewithhisprettywords.

“Definitely.”Hekissedthecornerofmymouthandburnedmewiththeheat.
Now all I wanted to do was lie there and enjoy the gorgeous man on top of me. He had

everything I could ever want. He was handsome in a classic way, his body was perfect, and he was
sweetandreservedatthesametime.

ButIcouldn’tgodownthispathagain.
“Ishouldgetgoing.Ineedsomecoffeeandpancakes.”ItwasSunday.Wealwayshadbreakfastat

theapartmentandwatchedfootball,alongwithplayingsomeboardgames.

“Howironic,”hewhispered.“Ihaveboth.”Hedidn’tgetoffofme.Infact,hestartedkissingme

again,movingtomyneckandchest.

Anytime he touched me, it felt amazing. With just his lips, he could make me writhe. “Ryker,

you’resuperhot,butIcan’tdothisagain.”

“I’msuperhot,huh?”Hekissedmystomach.
“Yeah.Butit’sbestifIjustleave.”
He grabbed my thighs and separated them before be pressed his face between them. Those

amazingkissestouchedmymostsensitivearea,andIimmediatelyarchedmybackandliftedmyhips
inresponse.

Rykerkissedandlickedthearea,givingmethebestheadI’deverreceived.Histongueworked

myclitorisbeforeitslippedintomypassage.

Iwrithedalloveragain.“Oh…”
Rykerkissedmeharder,ignitingmyentirebodyinflames.
Inthebackofmymind,IknewIneededtoleave.Ihadtoendthis.Butmybodywouldn’tlistento

me.Itwasenjoyingthiswaytoomuch.

He rubbed my clitoris with his thumb and cherished the rest of my body with his mouth. His

warmbreathsfellonthesensitivearea,highlightingallthepleasure.Hepushedmybodyandmindto
theedgeofecstasy.

Iwasattheedgeandabouttofallintosweetoblivion.Mybodytemperatureroseafewdegrees.

Myquietmoansturnedintoscreams.Myfingersdugintohisforearms,andIpreparedforanorgasm
thatburnedmewithwhite-hotflames.

JustbeforeIhitmythreshold,Rykerpulledaway.
“No…”
Hecrawledupmybody,aslightsmileonhismouth.Hislipswerecoatedwithmyfluid.They

shinedlikelipgloss.“Stay.”

“You’resuchajerk.”Idroppedmyheadonthepillowwithdefeat.
“I’llkeepdoingitifyoustay.”
MybodywantedtogiveinsoIcouldreturntothatsweetheaven.Rykerwassogoodwiththose

damnlips.Wheredidhelearntodoallofthat?Ohyeah,allthewomenhe’dscrewedovertheyears.
“Iwanttobut…it’snotagoodidea.”

“Yes,itis.Itmightnotbeasgoodaslasttime.Butthere’sagoodchanceit’llbeevenbetter.”He

gavemeakiss,wantingmetotastemyself.Thenheopenedthenightstandandpulledoutafoilpacket.

“No.Itwasfunasaone-timething,butwecan’tkeepdoingit.”
“Whynot?”hepressed.“Whycan’titbeatwo-timething?”
“Becauseitbecomesaslipperyslope.Itbecomescomplicated.We’llnolongerbefriends.We’ll

befriendswithbenefits.”

“Idon’tseetheproblem.”
“Idon’twantthat.”
Hesighedashelookeddownatme.“Whatdoyouwant?”
“Idon’tknow,”Isaidwithashrug.“Tobefriends.”
“Yourwetpussytellsmeotherwise.”
“Well,whenyoufuckitwithyourmouthlikethat,itdoesn’thavemuchofachoice.”
Hiseyesdarkenedatmywords.“Sweetheart,I’mnotlettingyouleaveuntilIgetwhatIwant.”He

partedmythighswithhisandpositionedhimselfoverme.

“Good luck with that.” I moved from under him and got to the edge of the bed. I grabbed my

clothesandstarteddressingmyself.

Hesighedthensatupwithhisbacktotheheadboard.
Ididn’tfeelbadforhim.“JustthinkaboutmewhenI’mgone.”
“Idefinitelywill.”
Ipulledmyclothesonthentriedtofixmyhair.
Ryker left the bed and pulled his sweatpants on. He remained shirtless, his chiseled and hard

physiquelookingparticularlyniceasitglistenedwithsweat.Hewaspracticallypoutingbecausehe
didn’tgetwhathewanted.

“Notusedtohearingno?”
“Actually,no.”
Igrabbedmyphonefromthenightstand.
Rykercametowardme,thedeterminationinhiseyes.“Whynot?Iwantyouandyouwantme.”
“I told you,” I said. “It gets complicated. Feelings get involved and somebody gets hurt—

probablyme.”

“Haveyoudonethisbefore?”
Ishrugged.“Idon’tkissandtell.”
Hetiltedhisheadslightly.“Andwe’resupposedtobejustfriends?”

“Justfriends?”Iasked.“Friendshipisabeautifulthing.”
Hiseyesnarrowedonmyface.
“If you really want a beautiful woman right this second, I know Jessie would take you in a

heartbeat.”Ifeltlikeapimpdishingoutmyfriend.

“Idon’twanther.”Hesaiditwithsuchharshnessitfeltlikesandpaperagainstmyskin.
“Why?”Iblurted.“She’sgorgeous.That’sjustnotpossible.”
Heheldmygazeashespoke.“I’veseenbetter.”
Well,he’safreakthen.“Ishouldgetgoing.”Isteppedaroundhimandleftthebedroom.
Hefollowedbehindme,hislargefeethittingthehardwoodfloor.
Igottotheelevatordoors.“Well,thanksforlettingmecrashhere.”
“Youcancrashherewheneveryouwant.”
AndhavetobattlehiskissesbeforeIgotout?Iresistedhimthistime,butIdidn’tthinkIcoulddo

itagain.

“Letmedriveyouhome.”
“No,it’sokay.I’lljustwalk.”
“Ireallydon’tmind.”
“NeitherdoI,”Isaid.“YouknowhowcommittedIamtoexercise.”
Hesmiledatmyreference.“IfyoueverwanttosleepoverwithSafari,you’rewelcometobring

himalong.”

“Ew,no,”Isaid.“Hewouldgethaireverywhere.”
“Ihaveavacuum.”
Ineededtoleavebeforemyvaginastartedmakingthedecisions.“Well,I’llseeyoulater.”Ihit

thebuttonontheelevatorandtriednottoscreamasthenumberonthetopshoweditwasonthefirst
floor.

Rykerstaredatmewithdarklyburningeyes,silentlyconvincingmetochangemymind.
Speeditup,elevator.
Hesteppedclosertome,thoselipsabouttogoinforthekill.
No.No.No.
Iglancedattheelevator.Itwasonlyonthefourthfloor.
Ugh.
Rykermovedhisarmaroundmywaistthenpulledmeintohim.
Justpushhimoff.That’sit.Problemsolved.
Thenhecuppedmycheek.“CanIhaveonetogo?”
Fuckit.
Hepressedhislipstomineandkissedmeslowly.
I kissed him back and loved every second of it. My arms moved around his neck, and my tits

brushedagainsthisbarechest.Thelongingovertookme,andIfeltmytonguedancewithhis.Hewas
suchagoodkisser,andheconstantlymademelosemytrainofthought.AllIthoughtaboutwashim,
thiskiss,ourbodies—justus.

Theelevatorbeepedwhenitarrived.
Ipulledawaybuthisholdwasreluctant.Hedidn’treleasemerightaway,havingtoforcehimself

todoit.

I stepped into the elevator so he couldn’t grab me again. Honestly, I was more worried about

jumpingbackintohisarms.“Justfriends.”

Hestoodwithhishandsonhiships,juststaringatme.
“Youknow,platonicfriends.”Ihitthelobbybuttonandanxiouslywaitedforthedoorstoclose.
Hiseyesnarrowedonmyface.

“Thekindthatplayboardgamesandstuff.”Whythehellwouldn’tthedamndoorsclose?
Hecrossedhisarmsoverhischest.
“Like,wecangotoballgamesandstuff.Maybeshareahotdog.That’sit.”Ihitthebuttonagain

tospeedthingsalong.“Isyourelevatorbrokenorsomething?”

Hefinallymadehismoveandsteppedtowardtheelevator.
“No!” If he crossed the threshold, I’d be screwed. I hit the door close button and it shut just in

time.Rykerwasgonefrommysightandtheelevatorstartedtodescend.

Thankgod.

***

WhenIcamehome,everyonewasalreadythere.
JessieandKaydenweresittingatthekitchentable,breakfastlaidoutonplates.Theybothturned

tomeandlookedmeupanddown,notingmywrinkledclothesandmessybun.

Theybothgavemethatlook.
“Isthatyou?”Rexcalledfromthelivingroom.
“Yeah,Isurvived.”Itossedmypurseonthetableandwalkedintothelivingroom.Thegamewas

ontheTV,andZekeandRexwerealreadydrinkingbeerandwatchingit.

Zekewatchedmewithconcerninhiseyes.“Everythingokay?”
“Yeah.”Whywouldn’titbe?
“So…” Rex made an awkward face. “Did you…” He rubbed his chin. “I mean…” He paused

again.“Nevermind.Ihavenothingtosay.”

“Nothinghappened.”Iansweredhisunspokenquestion.Thatwasn’ttotallytruthfulbecausesome

stuffhappened,butwedidn’tsleeptogether.Iknewthat’swhatbothheandZekewerewondering.

Rexsighedinrelief.
Zekedidthesamething.
Whywaseveryonesointerestedinmypersonallife?“Alright.Ineedbreakfast.”Iheadedinto

thekitchenandmadeaplateofpancakes,bacon,andeggs.ThenIsatatthetablewiththegirls.

Jessiewasimmediatelyonme.“Okay.Whatreallyhappened?”
Kaydenleanedforwardinanticipation.
“We didn’t sleep together.” I poured the syrup on my food. “I’m surprised you didn’t hook up

withhim,Jessie.Itseemedlikeyouguyswerehavingagoodtimeattheconcert.”

“Hewasn’tintome—atall.”
“What?”Ididn’tbelievethatforevenasecond.
“Yeah,” she said. “He was nice to me and everything, but he wasn’t taking the bait. Then I

mentionedthatyouthoughtheandIwouldreallyhititoff.Youknow,justincasehethoughtitwould
beweirdtofoolaroundwithyourfriend.Butitseemedtopisshimoff.Hedidn’tsayanythingelseto
mefortherestofthenight.”

Myplateofbreakfastwasuntouched.“Thatdoesn’tmakeanysense.”
She shrugged. “That’s what happened. He was all brooding and quiet. And he kept staring at

you.”

“Hedid,”Kaydensaid.“Isawhim.”
Why wouldn’t he sleep with Jessie? She was beautiful with a perfect body. And she basically

placedherselfonadishforhim.

“Whenhetookyoutohisplace,nothinghappened?”Jessieaskedincredulously.
“Well…somethingshappened.”Ikeptmyvoicequietsotheguyswouldn’thear.
“What?”Kaydenpressed.
“Itriedtosleeponthecouch,butheforcedmeintohisbedroom.Thenhetookoffmyclothes

andgotintobedwithme.Wejustsnuggledthroughthenight.Butthismorning,hewasupinmygrill.

Hetriedtoseduceme,butImanagedtogetoutoftherebeforeIlostmyresolve.”

“Whydidn’tyoulethimseduceyou?”Jessieasked.“Idon’tgetit.”
“Idon’twanttobeinthatkindofrelationshipagain,”Isaid.“I’llfallforhim,andthenhe’lltoss

measidewhenhe’sdonewithme.Itwasfunasaone-nightstand,butifwekeepdoingit,I’llbecome
aplaythingofhis.I’mnotgoingthereagain.”

“Igetit,”Kaydensaid.
“He’saplayer,”Isaid.“Andonceaplayer,alwaysaplayer.”
“Ifhe’saplayer,whydidn’thejustsleepwithme?”Jessieasked.
“Uh…”Ididn’thaveananswertothat.
“Shehasagoodpoint,”Kaydensaid.
“Maybehealreadyknewthesexwasgood,sohewantedtodoitagain?”Icouldn’treadRyker ’s

mind.Hewasprettyclosedoffmostofthetime,soIwasn’tgoingtobother.Ididn’thaveapickaxe
sharpenough.

“Idon’tknow…”Jessierestedherchininherpalm.“Maybehedoesn’twantafling.”
“Ifthatwerethecase,hewouldhaveaskedmeout.”AndIwasn’tgoingtowaitaroundforthat.
“That’strue,”Kaydensaid.“Sowhatnow?”
“We’rejustfriends,”Isaid.“Andwe’regoingtostaythatway.”
“Youreallythinkso?”Jessieasked.
“I told him that’s what I wanted,” I said. “As long as I’m not alone with him, it shouldn’t be a

problem.”

Rexcameintothekitchentogetanewbeer.“Whatareyouguystalkingabout?”
Itriedtothinkonmyfeet.
“Ourfavoriteromancemovies,”Kaydenblurted.
Hetwistedthecapoffthenewbottleandcringed.“Ugh.That’sthemostboringthingI’veever

heard.”HewalkedbackintothelivingroomandjoinedZeke.

Ismiledather.“Goodone.”
“Iwasgoingtosaytamponsbutthat’sbetter,”Jessiesaid.“Morebelievable.”
Iatemypancakesthenmovedontomyeggs.“So,youguyshavefunattheconcert?”

ChapterSix

Rex
“Thebarshouldgohere.”Zekeindicatedthecornerareaofthebowlingalley.“It’svisibletothe

entirebuildingandit’sconvenient.”

Inodded.“Yeah,Ithinkthatwouldwork.”
“I’dputthefoodcourtoverthere,”Zekesaid.“Keepthemseparate.Youdon’tnecessarilywant

thedrinkerswiththeeaters.Andifwehaveanarcade,wedon’twantthekidstobeminglingwiththe
wrongcrowd.”

“True.Sinceit’sa60sand70stheme,shouldwesellweed?”
“Youwouldbeaskingtogetcaught,man.”
Hehadapoint.“True.”
“Raesaidshewouldgetestimatesfromafewcontractors.Oncethat’sdone,weshouldbeableto

moveforward.”

“Soundsgood.”IstillfeltguiltyashelltakinganythingfromZeke.“Areyousureyouwanttodo

this?Becauseifyouchangeyourmind,I’mnotgoingtobeupsetatall.”

Hepattedmyshoulder.“Dude,don’tworryaboutit.OfcourseIwanttohelpyouout.”
Iwouldjustgetaloanfromthebank,butmycreditwasterrible.“Well…thanks.”
“Youwanttogetwingsandbeer?”
“Always.”

***

Wesharedabucketoffriesandwingswhilewedrankourbeers.TheTVinthecornershowed

thehighlightsofthegame.Theplacewasfairlyquietbecausepeoplehadn’tgottenoffworkjustyet.

Zekebecameparticularlyquiet,almostbrooding.I’dknownhimforsolongandspentsomuch

timewiththatIcouldreadhimlikeabook.Somethingwasonhismind.“Everythingalright,man?”

“Yeah.”Hetookalongdrinkofhisbeer.
I kept eating. If he said nothing was wrong, then nothing was wrong. Rae always pestered me

untilshepulleditoutofme.Thatwasn’tmytactic.“Thatconcertwasprettycool.Weshoulddothat
moreoften.”

“Yeah…”

IwasprettysureIdidn’tdoanythingtopisshimoff,sowhateverhewasmadabouthadnothingtodo
withme.“Ineedahaircut.IthinkI’mgoingtohaveJessiedomyhair.She’llprobablydoitforfree,
especiallysinceI’mbrokeashell.”

“Goodidea.”
“IwenttothelibrarytheotherdayandsawKayden.Theweirdestthinghappened—”
“There’ssomethingIneedtotellyou,andI’vebeendreadingit.”
Okay…maybetherewassomethingwrong.“What’sup?”
He’d already finished two beers so he was obviously building up to this moment, hoping the

alcoholwouldmakeitalittleeasier.

I picked at my fries but didn’t eat them because I was anxious to hear whatever he had to say.

Zeke and I hung out all the time, but we didn’t have many deep conversations. We stuck to sports,
sports,andwomen.Heart-to-hearttalksweren’treallyourthing.

Zekeremainedsilent,tryingtofigureouthowtostart.
“Dude,it’sme.Youcantellmeanything.”
“It’sdifferent…”
Howdifferentcoulditbe?
“You’reprobablygoingtobeupsetwithme.That’swhyI’mhesitant.”
“Well,Idon’tgetmadveryoften,soyou’reprobablyexaggerating.”

“Uh…Idon’tthinkIam.”
“It’snotlikeyousleptwithRaeorsomething.”Ichuckledthenateafewfries.
Zekehadaguiltylookonhisface.
IstoppedeatingwhenIcaughtthelook.AfrywasabouttoentermymouthwhenIhalted.“You

didn’tsleepwithmysister,right?”BecauseIwouldriphisheadoff.

“No,Ididn’t.”
Irelaxed.
“Butit’sinthatsamecategory.”
NowIwastensealloveragain.
“I’vehadathingforRaeforawhilenow.Itcomesandgoesbut…thistimeit’snotgoingaway.”

He held my gaze even though he was uncomfortable with the look. “I know this is weird, and I’ve
debatedtalkingtoyouaboutit…sonowwe’rehere.”

MyeyesmovedtotheTVinthecornerbecauseIdidn’tknowwhatelsetodo.Hejusthitmewith

a slab of bricks. I took a second to recover before I looked at him again. “Why are you telling me
this?”Weswappedstoriesaboutchickswewereseeing,butthatwasjustbanter.Thiswasdifferent,
andIwasn’tsurewhathispointwas.

“Raeisgoingtobesweptoffherfeeteventually…hopefullynotbyRyker.Ineedtomakeamove

beforeit’stoolate.So…IwantedtomakesureyouwerecoolwithitbeforeIdidanything.”

Inoddedinunderstanding.
“So…areyoucoolwithit?”HewasjustasuncomfortablewiththisconversationasIwas.
“Idon’tknow.”
Zekestaredatme,holdingbackhisthoughts.
“Youguyshavebeenfriendsforsolong.Ifthingsdidn’tworkout,itwouldbereallyawkward.”
“Iknow.”
“Not just between you two. But between you and me, me and Rae, even with the girls. Things

wouldneverbethesame.”

Henoddedinunderstanding.
“Isthatariskyou’rewillingtotake?”
“I’vethoughtaboutitalot.”
“And?”
“IfeellikeifIdonothing,I’llregretitfortherestofmylife.”
Irestedmyelbowsonthetable.“Thenyoumustreallylikeher.”
“Sometimes I think she would be the perfect person for me. If I were going to settle down, it

wouldbewithher.”

Damn.“Ihadnoidea…”
“I’mprettygoodathidingit.”
“Yeah…youfooledme.”
“So,isitokayifIgoforher?”
“Youshouldreallythinkaboutitfirst.”
“Ihave,”hesaid.“Alot.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Honestly, if things work out between you, she couldn’t find a

betterguy.”

Henodded.“Thanks,man.”
“ButIreallydon’tthinkshefeelsthesameway.I’venevergottenthatimpressionfromher.You

mighttellherhowyoufeel,shemightrejectyou,andthenitwouldalwaysbeawkwardbetweenyou.
YouknowwhatImean?”

“Yeah.”

“So,youshouldthinkaboutthattoo.”
“Idon’tthinkshelooksatmethatwayrightnow,butifItellherhowIfeel,shemightseemein

adifferentlight.Andmaybewecangofromthere.”

“Yeah,”Isaidinagreement.“Butthere’sstillalotofriskinvolved.”
“I know,” he said with a sigh. “But I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been with tons of other

girls,butIkeepcomingbacktoher.”

“Whendidthisstart?”
“Probablythreeyearsago.”
Myeyeswidened.
“I haven’t felt this way the entire time. It comes and goes. I date other girls and stop thinking

about her. But the second I’m single again, she’s on my mind. I’m doomed to repeat the cycle
forever.”

“That’sintense.”
“Iknow.IwishIcouldstopthinkingaboutheraltogether.Butatthesametime,Idon’t.”
IcrossedmyarmsovermychestbecauseIdidn’tknowwhattosaytothat.
“So,IthinkI’mgoingtotellher.”
“Okay.”Ihadafeelingthiswasgoingtoendbadly,butIcouldn’ttellZekewhattodo.“Good

luck.”

“Thanks,”hesaid.“Andthanksforbeingunderstanding.Iknowthisisweirdforyou.”
“Itis.”Iwasn’tgoingtosugarcoatit.“Whenareyougoingtotalktoher?”
“Idon’tknow.”Heeyedhisbeer.“IthinkIneedtotakesometimetoprepareforit.Idon’thavea

damncluewhatI’mgoingtosay.”

“Justbehonest.Thattendstoworkwell.”
“Yeah.”
“Butbepreparedforherrejection.Becauseit’sareallygoodpossibility.”
Henoddedwithasadlookonhisface.
“Doyouwantmetofeelheroutfirst?ShetoldmeIneedtobuttoutofherpersonallife,butI

canworkaroundit.”

“Idon’tknow.Ifshefeltsomethingforme,you’rethelastpersonshewouldtell.”
“True.Whataboutthegirls?”
“Don’ttellthem,”hesaidimmediately.“They’reloyaltoher.Idon’ttrustthemwiththis.”
“Okay.”
“IknowIneedtosaysomethingsoon.I’mafraidifIwaittoolong,she’llfindsomeoneelse.”
“Mysisterisacatch,sothat’salwaysapossibility.”
“AndI’mafraidthatsmugbastardmightgetintoherhead.”
IassumedhewasreferringtoRyker.“Shesaidthere’snothinggoingon.Ifthat’swhatshesays,

thenit’sthetruth.”

“Yeah,probably.”
Itookalongdrinkofmybeernowthattheconversationwasover.“Iwishyoualltheluckinthe

world.Itwouldbesickifitworkedoutbecauseyou’dbemybrother-in-lawsomeday.”

“Yeah,thatwouldbecool.”
But that was wishful thinking. If Rae had a thing for Zeke, it would have come up a long time

ago.Shewouldhaveflirtedwithhimordroppedhints.Icouldreadherprettywell,soIwouldhave
noticedit.

ButIdidn’thavethehearttotellhimthat.

***

IopenedthefrontdoortoseeKaydenontheotherside.“Hey,what’sup?”

Thesecondshesawme,shetensedup.“I’mpickingupRae.We’regoingshopping.”
“Cool.” I invited her inside and shut the door behind her. “For slutty lingerie?” I wiggled my

eyebrows.

Herentirefaceturnedbeetred.
“I’mjustkidding…”Ididn’tmeantooffendher.
“Iknow.”Shelookedevenmoreawkward,standingthereandtwirlingherhair.Thenshestared

attheground,growingmoreuncomfortablebythesecond.

Whywasitalwayssoweirdwhenwewerealonetogether?ShewashereonSunday,andthere

wasn’tanyweirdness.Theconcertwasfun,andwebothhadagreattime.Butwhennooneelsewasin
theroom,itwaslikenailsonachalkboard.

“So,isRaeready?”Sheworedarkjeansthatfitdangerouslylowonherhips.Iwonderedifher

asswouldshowifshesatdown.Butshewaswearingalongblouse,probablytocoverherbehindfor
justthoseevents.

“Actually,she’snothomeyet.”
“Oh…”Panicwashedoverherface,eitherbecausetheyhadanappointmenttomakeorbecause

shewouldbestuckwithme.

IhadafeelingIknewwhichoneitwas.
“Doyouwantabeer?”Iasked.“Orsomewater?”
“I’mokay.”Shecontinuedtostandinoneplace,notsittingatthekitchentableoronthecouch.

She’dbeenhereenoughtimestomakeherselfathome.Butshewasactinglikethiswasherfirsttime
visiting—andwe’dnevermet.

“I’vegottoaskyousomething,andIhopeyoudon’ttakeitinthewrongway.”
Sheturnedpaleasaghost.ItwaslikelookingatCasper.“Okay…”
“Doyouhaveaproblemwithme?”Maybeshehatedmeorsomething.MaybeIdidsomething

stupidtooffendherandIdidn’tevenrealizeit.Itendtodothat.

“Aproblem?”shewhispered.“No,notatall.Ithinkyou’regreat.Actually,Ithinkyou’reoneof

the greatest guys I’ve ever known. You’re so sweet and compassionate, but you’re also strong and
protective.Youlookoutforthepeopleyoucareabout,andyouneverexpectanythingfromanyone
nomatterwhatyougavetheminthepast…”

Thatwasonelong-assresponse.“Thankyou.”
“Idon’thaveaproblemwithyou,Rex.”
“It just seems like…” I pointed between us. “There’s something off here, like you’re

uncomfortablearoundmeorsomething.”

“No,youdon’tdoanythingtomakemeuncomfortable.”
“Thenwhat’sthedeal?”I’veseenherwithRae.Shewasfunandupbeat.Shewasthesameway

withJessie.Sometimes,shewasthelifeoftheparty.Butwhenitcametojustherandme,therewas
terriblechemistry.

“I…”Sheshruggedthenfidgetedwithherhair.“Idon’tknow.Iguessyoumakemenervous.”
“Nervous?” I asked. “What? Me?” I was the most easy-going guy in the world. How could I

possiblyintimidateanotherperson?

“It’snotyou,”shesaidquickly.“I’mjust…alittleskittish.”
“Aroundme?We’veknowneachotherfortenyears.HowcanIpossiblymakeyoufeelanything

butatease?”Itdidn’tmakeanysensetome.

“Youknow,Idon’thaveanexplanation.ButI’llbedifferentfromnowon.Howaboutthat?”
I could keep interrogating her, but that wouldn’t get me anywhere. If things were going to

change,itwasbestjusttofocusonthat.“Thatsoundsperfect.Let’sgoouttodinnertomorrowand
giveitatestrun.”

“Di-din-ner?”Sheswallowedthelumpinherthroat.
“Youknow,whenpeoplegettogetherandeattheirlastmealoftheday.”
“Iknow,”shesaidwithaforcedchuckle.“Ijust…nevermind.I’dlovetogo.”
Ipointedather.“That’sbetter.Now,we’regoingtohaveagoodtime,andyou’regoingtobe

comfortablearoundme.Nomoreoftheseweird,awkward,tensemeetings.”

Shenoddedenthusiastically.“Soundslikeaplan.I’mreallyexcited.”
Thatwasbetter.“Okay,I’llpickyouupatseven.”
“I’llbeready.”

ChapterSeven

Rae
I pulled my specimen out of the refrigerator then examined a sample under the microscope. It

wasonlydaythreeoftheexperiment,andtherewassignificantbiodegradablematerial.Thebacteria
hadeatenawaythesurfaceoftheplasticandit’dbecomefarmoreflimsythanbefore.

Myexperimentwasworking.
Iwasn’tsurehowpeoplewouldrespondtoit.Thefactthatbacteriawereeatingitawaywould

turnoffalotofconsumers.Butiftheyknewhowmuchbacteriawereineverythingtheyusedona
dailybasis,theywouldn’tblinkaneyeoverit.

Iwasontosomething.
Heavyfootstepssoundedbehindme,andIknewitwasn’tJenny.“AmIinterrupting?”
Ididn’tneedtoseehisfacetoknowwhohewas.Irecognizedhisvoicethemomenthespoke.

“No. How can I help you, Mr. Price?” I pulled my gloves off and shoved them into the safety box
beforeIturnedtohim.Isuspectedwewouldrunintoeachotheratworksometime,soIwasprepared.

Heworeadarkbluesuitwithagraytie.Likeeverythinghewore,helookedgood.Thosepretty

eyes looked pretty no matter what colors he wore. Even though the suit covered all of his skin, the
definitionofhisarmsandshoulderswasnoticeable.

HowdidInotsleepwithhimagain?Thatwasamiracle.
“Justcamedownheretocheckonthings.”
“Talkaboutmicromanaging…”
“Ormaybeit’sjustanexcusetotalktoyou.”Hecametomyside,hisarmtouchingmine.
“IguessI’llneverknow.”Iturnedawaysohewouldn’tseehowwidelyIwassmiling.Thelast

time I saw him, it was a little awkward. I was practically running from him because it was the only
wayIcouldkeepmylegsclosed.

“I’lltellyou…oneday.”Heeyedthepieceundermymicroscope.“Whatareyouworkingon?”
“ItwasthethingImentionedbefore.Thingsarelookinggood.”
“Wanttotellmeaboutit?”
“Wouldyouratherwaituntilyouknowifit’sevenfeasible?”
“Hmm…I’mnotthekindofpersonwholikestowaitforthings.”
“Youdon’tsay.”Ididn’tkeepthesarcasmoutofmyvoice.
Henudgedmeinthesideplayfully.
“So,howarethingsinthebigofficeupstairs?”
“Boring.”
I removed my goggles and set them on the counter. “You don’t sound particularly passionate

aboutyourjob.”

“Whatgavemeaway?”Hisvoicewasfullofbitterness.
“Then why did you take it?” Did his father make him? I found it hard to believe anyone could

makeRykerdoanything.

Heshruggedbutneveranswered.“I’vebeenthinkingaboutyoulately.”
“Yeah?”Iasked.“Inapurelyplatonicway?”
“Notreally…”Hegavemeapervertedsmile.
Iswattedhisarmplayfully.“You’reterrible.”
“Anyexcitingplanscomingup?”
“Not really,” I said. “I’ve been helping Rex remodel his bowling alley. His business has been

scrapingbybutjustbarely.”

“Yeah,openingabusinesscanbehard.”
“Well,heshouldn’thaveboughtittobeginwith.”

Heshrugged.“Atleasthewastryingtoinvesthismoneyinsteadofblowingit.Givehimsome

credit.”

Everyonedefendedmybrotherbecausetheylovedhimsodamnmuch.“Iguess.”
“Rexisaprettycoolguy.HewasdefinitelyMr.Popularinhighschool.”
“I’llneverunderstandwhy.”
“IwaspopularbecauseI’mgood-looking.Ithinkhe’sinthesameboat.”
“Wereyoupromking?”Iteased.
“No.ButIwashomecomingking.”
Itriednottorollmyeyes.
“Wereyouoneofthelosers?”
“Prettymuch,”Isaid.“Iwasinacademicdecathlon,Iwasthepresidentofthescienceclub,andI

playedbasketball.Iwasasnerdyastheycome.”

“Scienceclub?”heasked.“That’sactuallyprettyhot.WearingyourgogglesandusingaBunsen

burner…sexy.”

“Shutthehellup.Stopmakingfunofme.”
“I’m not making fun of you.” He came closer to me, his face near mine. “I think you’re the

sexiestwomanintheworld.”Hekeptastraightfaceashesaidit.“WhydoyouthinkIhaven’tstopped
thinkingaboutyou?”

My skin flushed with heat, and I suddenly felt a million degrees warmer. “I should get back to

work.I’llgiveyouanupdatewhenIhavemoredata.”

Heseemeddisappointedwiththebrush-off.“IhopeIseeyousoon—andnotatwork.”
“Well,we’replayingpoolthisweekifyouwanttocome.”Iwasn’tgettingtangledupwithhim.

LasttimeIwastooclosetothefire,Igotburned.

“Let me ask you something.” He walked around me then approached me from the other side,

circlingmelikeashark.“Whywon’tyoubewithme?”

“Itoldyouwhy.”Ididn’twanttokeephavingthisconversation.
“Notreally.”
“Idon’twanttohaveameaninglessfling.”
“So,youwantarelationship?”
“Iguess.”Noteveryguyhadtobemyfuturehusband,butIdidn’twanttofoolaroundwithaguy

whenIwasabsolutelycertainitwouldn’tgoanywhere—andIwouldfallinlovewithhim.“Andyou
don’tdothose.That’swhyit’llneverwork.”

“Wecan’tjusthavesomefun?”
“Wealreadydid.”
“Morefun,”hesaid.
“Ourtimehasrunout.ButmyfriendJessieisinterestedinyou.”
Hiseyesdarkenedinanger.“ItoldyouIwasn’tinterested.”
“ThenKaydenisyournextpick.”
“Shedoesn’tdoanythingformeeither.”
“Geez,you’repicky.”
“No,I’mreallynot,”hesaid.“ButwhenIfindsomethingIreallylike,Istickwithit.”Hekept

staringatme.

“Ryker,listentome.”
Hestoodupstraightandlookedmeintheeye.
“Theonlyreasonyouwantmesobadlyisbecauseyoucan’thaveme.I’mnotgoingtochange

mymindaboutthis.Youcankeeptryingtoseducemeallyouwant,butitwon’twork.Webothwant
differentthingsinlife,solet’sjustleaveitatthat.”

“Actually,Ithinkwewanttheexactsamething,”hesaid.“Icangiveyouexactlywhatyouwant—

nightafternight.”

Mythighsscreamedindesperation.“Morethanonceleadstoemotionalattachment.”
“Justdon’tgetattached.”
Easiersaidthandone.
“Youclearlyaren’tconsideringthefactthatyouthrewJessieatme.”Hisvoicesuddenlybecame

angry,likehewasoffendedIgavemyfriendpermissiontopursuehim.

“Ididn’tthrowheratyou.Shewasintoyou,andItoldhertogoforit.”
“Justlikethat?”heaskedincredulously.“Youwouldn’thavecaredifIsleptwithher?”
“No.”Iwasn’tlyingeither.“Becausewearen’tanything,Ryker.Wedon’tmeananythingtoone

another,beyondourfriendship.Andlet’skeepitthatway.Ifwekeepsleepingtogether…”

“What?”
“Itjust…makesthingsblurry.”
“You’reafraidyou’llstartcaringaboutme.”
No.Ialreadydidcare.IwasafraidI’dfallinlovewithhim.“Yeah,Iguess.”
Henoddedinunderstanding.
“You’re a pretty man with pretty words. You can have whomever you want. Don’t waste your

timeonme.”

“ThatwouldbefineiftherewassomeoneelseIwanted.”
Iturnedtohim,confusionsweepingthroughme.“What?”
He stared at me for several heartbeats, without blinking. The look lasted for ages, practically

years.Thenhesteppedawayandheadedtothedoor.“Nothing,Rae.Nothing.”

***

IjustsatdowntodinnerwithRexwhenmyphonevibrated.Zekewascallingme.
Rexshoveledanenormouspieceoflasagnaintohismouth.“Damn,thisshitisgood.”
“You eat food out of the trash, so your compliments don’t mean much.” I took the call. “Hey,

dude.What’sgoingon?”

“Whendidyoustartcallingmedude?”heaskedwithachuckle.
“Iguessnow.”IatewhileItalked.
“Whoisthat?”Rexasked.“IsitZeke?”
“Mindyourownbusiness.”
“Excuseme?”Zekeasked.
“Sorry,Iwastalkingtomydipshitbrother.”
“Oh.Gotcha.”
“We’rehavingdinnerrightnow,”Isaid.“Wanttocomeover?”
“No,it’sokay,”hesaid.“Ialreadyate.Iwaswonderingifyou’refreeonSaturdayfordinner.”
“Dinner?”Iasked.“Withthegang?”
“Actually,Iwantitjusttobeyouandme.”
ZekeandIhaddonestufftogetheralonetonsoftimes,butheneveraskedmetodinnerbefore.

Maybe he wanted to talk about something. Or maybe he was just sick of Rex. “Yeah, sure. Sounds
good.”

“Cool,”hesaid.“I’lltalktoyouthen.”
“Alright,seeyoulater,dude.”
Hechuckled.“Alright,dudette.”
Ihungupandkepteating.
“So…whatdidZekewant?”Rexkepthiseyesgluedtohisfood.
“HewantstohangoutonSaturday.”

“Like…justyoutwo?”
Whywasheactinglikeaweirdoallofasudden?“Yes.Why?”
Heshrugged.“Justcurious.”
“Hewantstogotodinner.Isuspecthewantsabreakfromyou,sothat’swhyhejustinvitedme.”
“Uh,maybe.”
“Ormaybehewantstotalkaboutthebowlingalleywithoutyoubeingthere.”
“Iguessthat’spossible.”
IreachedforthelastpieceofgarlicbreadbutRexjackedit.“Hey.”
“That’spaybackforallthosemeancommentsyoujustmade.”
“Jerk.”
“LikeIcare.Igivejerkagoodname.”

***

SometimesRykercameintomymind,butwheneverhedid,Ipushedthethoughtaway.Anytime

wewerealonetogether,theintensitywasalarming.Itactuallyburnedme.

He had the kind of passion that I wanted in a relationship—particularly in a husband. I wanted

someonewhocouldbemybestfriendbutalsobemygreatestlover.Rykerexcelledinonecategory
butfailedintheother.Hewasbadnews—tothebone.

But sometimes, my imagination drifted away, and I thought about that hard chest and those

washboardabs.Therehadtobehundredsofwomenbeforeme.Maybeevenathousand.Itdidn’tmake
me jealous that I wasn’t his only one. But I was sad there would be so many after me. One day, he
wouldprobablyforgethehadsexwithmeatall.

I was in the lab when Aaron, the delivery guy, came down the stairs and entered the lab. “Any

harshchemicalsIshouldbeworriedabout?”

“Nothingbutwater.”
“Butthat’snotachemical.”
“Technically, it is.” Most people didn’t know that. Water was the most important component to

chemicalreactions.Withoutit,mostreactionswouldn’thappen.

Hewascarryingaglassvasewithtwodozenrosesinside.Theywerebeautifulandprimed.They

smelledlikesummer,ascentIhadn’tinhaledinsolong.“Wow.WhosentthosetoJenny?”

Hesetthemonthetable.“Actually,they’reforyou.”
“Me?”Iblurted.Thelasttimesomeonesentmeflowerswas…never.“Areyousure?”
“That’swhatthecardsays.”Hepointedtothelargeenvelopepinnedintothebouquet.
“Whoaretheyfrom?”Theonlypersonwhomightsendmeflowerswasmybrother…andeven

thatwasfarfetched.

“Idon’tknow.Iwasjusttoldtosendthemdownhere.”Heheadedbacktothedoor.
“Well,thankyou,Aaron.”
“Sure.”
Whenhewasgone,Igrabbedtheenvelope.Thehandwritingonthefrontwasstrictlymasculine,

butIdidn’trecognizeit.Iopeneditupandbegantoread.

Rae,
Iwanttoshareahotdogataballgame.
Iwanttoplayboardgameswithyou.
AndIwantadate.
Ryker

ChapterEight

Rae
Rykeraskedmeoutonadate.
Arealone.
DidthatmeanwhatIthoughtitmeant?
OrdidIneedtoaskforclarification?
I didn’t contact him or ask him about it. I was still processing the note he sent. It was sweet,

almosttoosweet.DidImisreadhim?Didhewantsomethingmore?Ordidhejustwanttogiveme
whatIwantedsohecouldgetwhathewanted?

IlefttherosesattheofficebecauseIdidn’tknowhowtoexplainthemtoRex.Hewouldn’tjump

downmythroataboutit,buthewouldstillask.Icouldn’tlietohim,butIdidn’twanttotellhimabout
Rex.Itwaseasiernottobringthemhomeatall.

AfterdinnerandwatchingTV,SafariandIwenttobed.Ihadaqueen-sizemattress,sothetwoof

usbarelyfitonittogether.Therewasalotofcuddlingbetweenhumanandcanine.ButIwasusedtoit
andsowashe.Safarimadecutenoisesinthemiddleofthenight,andwhenhedreamed,hereleased
quietbarks.SleepingwithhimwasbetterthanmostguysI’dbeenwith.

MyphonelituponthenightstandthesecondIclosedmyeyes.
Rykerwascallingme.
I wasn’t even sure how he got my number. I took the call, lying in the dark of my bedroom.

“Hello?”

Therewasalongpausebeforehespoke.“Gotmyflowers?”
“Idid.Atfirst,Ididn’tknowtheywereforme.Youknow,becauseIusedtobealoser.”
Hechuckled.“Theyweredefinitelyforyou.”
“Theyareverybeautiful.Thankyou.”
“So…you’llgoonadatewithme?”
“Thatdepends,”Isaid.“Doyouwanttogoonadatewithme?”
“IfIdidn’t,whywouldIhaveasked?”
“It’sjust…Ithoughtyoudidn’tdothatsortofthing.”
Hesighedintothephonelikethiswasaconversationhedidn’twanttohave.“Idon’t.”
“Thenwhatdoesthismean?”
“ItmeansI’mmakinganexception.There’ssomethingaboutyouIjustcan’tstopthinkingabout.

WhenI’mnotwithyou,Iwantyou.AndwhenIhaveyou,Istillwantyou.”

Mynippleshardened.
“CanItakeyouout?We’lldothewholedinnerthing.”
“Andgettingtoknoweachother?”
“Yeah,”hesaid.“AndI’llevenwalkyoutoyourdoorafterward.”
“Youwill?”NowIcouldn’tstopsmiling.
“I’llkissyougoodnight.ThenI’llgohome.”
“Wow,thisisgettingserious.”
Hechuckled.“Iguessitis.So,you’refreeonSaturdaynight?”
Wasthisreallyhappening?Didthishunkofamanreallywanttotakemeonarealdate?“Iam.”
“Great.There’sthisniceplaceIwanttotakeyou.”
“Whathappenedtohotdogsattheballpark?”
“Wouldyouratherdothat?”heaskedincredulously.
“Actually,yeah.I’dtakeballparkfoodoverfancystuffanyday.”
Hereleasedasighoflonging.“Baby,youkeepgettingbetter.”
“Didyoujustcallmebaby?”

“Idid.AndI’mgoingtokeepcallingyouthat.”
“That’sawfullypossessive.”
“Didn’tyouknow?”hewhispered.“You’reofficiallymine.”

***

“Heaskedyououtonadate?”Jessiemovedaroundmychair,combingmyhairandtrimmingit

without even watching what she was doing. She was the best hairdresser in the business, and
everythingwassecondnaturetoher.

“Yeah.Hesentmeflowersandeverything.”
“Wow.He’sreallyhookedonyou.”
“Iguess.”Itriednottosmile,butmylipsdiditanyway.
Jessiecaughtthelook.“You’resointohim.”
“I’vebeenintohimsincethefirsttimeIsawhim,”Isaidwithasigh.“ButItriedtokeephimata

distancebecauseIknewhewouldjustbreakmyheart.Butnow…maybeitcouldgosomewhere.”

“Itisgoingtogosomewhere.”
“Youthink?”Iaskedhopefully.
“Aslongasheisn’tdoingallofthisjusttosleepwithyouagain.Butthatwouldbereallyshady.”
Itwouldbe.“No,hewouldn’tdothat.”
“You’resure?”
“Yeah.He’snotthatkindofguy.”Hehadadarkexteriorandhewasrougharoundtheedges,but

therewasashininglightdeepinsidehissoul.

“Thenthisisveryexciting.”Shefinishedthetrimthengavemeablowout.Whenshewasdone

makingmyhairperfect,sheturnedoffthedryerandranherfingersthroughmyhair.“Whyishelike
thatanyway?”

“Idon’thaveaclue.”Ididn’task,andIdidn’twanttoknowanyway.
“Youthinkhehassomeweirdissues?”Shecringed.“Becauseheseems…dark.”
“I’mnotsure.”Maybehejustdidn’tliketocommittoanyone.Maybehelikedtobefreeallthe

time.Somemenwerejustlikethat.

“Well,he’llchangeforyou.It’sobvioushe’sobsessed.Whateveryougotgoingondownthere

isheaven.”

Ilaughed.“It’snothingspecial.”
“I don’t know…it must be.” She took off the drape covering my body and the hair fell to the

floor.“Whenisthebignight?”

“Satur—shit.”
“What?”
“We’resupposedtogooutonSaturday,butIjustrememberedIhavedinnerplanswithZeke.”

“Cancel,” she said. “He’ll understand. Anytime there’s a possibility of sex, it’s okay to bail on a
friend.”

“No.Idon’tdothat.”Zekehadbeenmyfriendforever.Guyswouldcomeandgo,buthewould

be there for life. That’s not how I treat my friends. “I’m just glad I remembered before I did
somethingstupid.RykerandIcanjustgooutonFridaynightinstead.”

“Seriously,it’sZeke.Hewon’tmind.”
“Idon’tblowoffmyfriendsforanyguy.”Istoodupthengrabbedmypursefromthedresser.
Jessiesmiledatme.“Irespectthat.”Shegavemeahigh-five.“Alright.That’llbefortybucks.”
“Damn,you’reexpensive.”
Sheshrugged.“I’mthebest.”
“Well,don’texpectatip.”
“Thendon’texpectanotherappointment.”

I chuckled then handed the cash over. I tipped her twenty bucks because she deserved every

penny.“Thanks,girl.”

“You’rewelcome.He’sgoingtoloverunninghisfingersthroughthathair.”
“Hewon’tberunninghisfingersthroughanything.Hesaidhewouldwalkmetomydoor,kiss

megoodnight,andthenleave.”

“Wow.”Herjawdropped.“WhoknewabeastcouldturnintoPrinceCharming?”
Ishrugged.
“WhatareyougoingtodoaboutRex?Tellhim?”
Ugh,Ididn’teventhinkaboutthat.“Uh…Iguess.”
“Heshouldbefinewithit,right?Youguyshadthattalk.”
“But I told him nothing was going on with Ryker. Now that I’m going on a date with him, it

seemslikeIlied.”

“Justclarify,”Jessiesaid.“Andeverythingshouldbefine.”
“IjustwishIhadanormalbrother.”
“Hey.”Shepointedatme.“Mybrotherdoesn’tcarewhetherIliveordie.Begratefulforwhat

youhave.”

“Iam.Ijustwish…Idon’tknow.”

***

“Youcomedownherealot.”Iwassittingatmycomputerinthelab,transferringdataintomy

spreadsheet.

Rykersaunteredclosertome,hishandsinthepocketsofhissuit.Today,itwasblackwithagray

tie. A shiny watch was on his wrist. The hair on his jaw had been growing for the past few days. I
wasn’tsurewhatIlikedmore,thatlookorthecleanlyshavedone.

Helookedgoodinanything.
“IguessIliketomicromanage.”Hestoppedbesidemychair.“Whatareyouworkingon?”
“Dataplotting.It’smyfavoritepart.”
“Whyisthat?”
Ipattedthearmrestsofthechair.“BecauseIgettosit.”
Hechuckled.“Youcan’tdothatwhenyou’regettingyourhandsdirty.”
“Nope.Tooinconvenient.”
Hestoodtherelikehehadnowhereelsetogo.
“IwantedtotalkaboutourdateonSaturday.”
“Metoo,”hesaid.“Ifyouwanttowearashortdresswithheels,I’mperfectlyokaywiththat.”
IrolledmyeyeseventhoughIdidn’tmeanthat.“I’llbeinjeans,at-shirt,andaballcap—justso

youknow.”

“You’llstilllooksexy.”
NowItriednottosmile.“Anyway,IactuallyalreadyhaveplansonSaturday.Canwegoouton

Fridayinstead?”

“Whatplansdoyouhave?”
“ZekeandIarehangingout.”HowcouldIhaveforgotten?IntheheatofthemomentwithRyker,

itslippedmymind.

Rykerdidn’tmoveorsayaword,buthiseyesfilledwithunspokenfire.“YouandZeke?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re going on a date with him?” His voice didn’t increase in volume, but his tone was

blowingoutmyeardrums.

“No, we’re just hanging out. Ryker, I have guy friends. This jealousy thing is really annoying.

Justtowarnyou,Iwon’tputupwithit.Isuggestyouletitgo.”

“Iwouldifhedidn’thavefeelingsforyou,”hesaidcoldly.
Nowhewasbeingridiculous.“Knockitoff.Hedoesn’tseemeasanythingbesidesafriend—

maybeasister.”

“Areyoubeingseriousrightnow?”heasked.“Youreallydon’tseeit?”
“Seewhat?”
“Thewayhelooksatyou.Thewayhetouchesyouwheneverhegetsachance.”
“Friends touch each other.” This entire conversation was stupid. “I’m not going to change my

relationship with Zeke or stop spending time with him. If it really bothers you that much, then we
shouldn’tseeeachother.”

Heheldmygazewithoutblinking.
“I’mnotkidding,Ryker.Myfriendsareeverythingtome.Theyaremyfamily.”
Hefinallyturnedawayandrubbedthebackofhisneckslowly.“Fine.”Thenoteoffinalityinhis

voicetoldmehewasbeingsincere.

“Thank you.” Now that the argument was over, it was tense between us. “Besides, I thought he

wasyourfriend.”

“Heis,”Rykersaid.“Wewereprettycloseinhighschool.”
“Thenyouknowhe’sagoodguy.Idon’thavetovouchforhim.”
He was quiet for so long that it seemed like the conversation was over. “All’s fair in love and

war.”

***

I decided not to tell Rex about Ryker until after the date. Maybe we would spend real time

togetherandrealizeitwouldneverwork.Whygetmybrotherworkedupoversomethingthatmight
burnoutthemomentitwaslit?

Fortunately,Rexwasworkingatthebowlingalleythatnight,soIdidn’thavetoworryaboutthe

twoofthemcrossingpaths.IworeexactlywhatItoldRykerIwasgoingtowear,andwhenhepicked
meup,helookedmeupanddownandsmiled.

“SportySpice.”
Ichuckled.“Yeah,Iguessthat’sthelookI’mgoingfor.”
“Well, I think you look pretty cute.” He grabbed the bill of my hat and lifted it slightly so he

couldgetabetterlookatmyface.“So…doIhavetowaituntiltheendofthenighttogiveyouthat
kiss?”

If he kissed me now, we would just go into my bedroom and get busy. “What would a true

gentlemando?”

Hiseyesdarkenedindisappointment.“Idon’trememberclaimingIwasone.”
“Buttonightyouare,right?”
Hereadjustedmyhatonmyhead.“Unfortunately.”
Ilockedthedoorbehindmeandwalkedwithhim.
“Rexisn’thome?”
“He’sworking.”
“So,hewascoolwiththis?”
“Uh…Ididn’ttellhim.”
Rykerstoppedwalking.“Whynot?”
“I’djustratherwaituntilthelastpossiblemoment.”
“Because?”
“It’shardtoexplain.”RexandIhadanunusualrelationship,butthatwasbecausewehadsuchan

unusualchildhood.Nooneelseunderstooditbutus.

“So,amIadirtysecret?BecauseI’mokaywiththatifwe’regettingdirty.”

“No,youaren’tasecret,”Isaid.“I’lltellhimlater.”
“When’slater?”
“Idon’tknow…tomorrow.”Ormaybenot.
“Ihavetosay,I’venevermetapairofsiblingslikethetwoofyou.”
“I’msureyouhaven’t.”
Weheadedtothestreetandreachedhiscar.
“TheBatMobile.”
Hestoppedandlookedatme.“DidyoujustcallmycarTheBatMobile?”
“Well,itremindsmeofit.”
Hechuckledthenopenedthedoorforme.“Baby,youkeepgettingbetter.”

***

“That’s the biggest hot dog I’ve ever seen.” Ryker eyed the chili dog in my tray. It was the

monstersize,fullofchili,cheese,peppers,andonions.

“Ididn’teatanythingalldaysoIcouldenjoythis.”
“I’mjustsurprisedyoucanfitthatthingintoyourmouth.”
“It’stoughatfirst,butIeventuallygetitin.”
Hiseyesimmediatelydarkened.
Ididn’trealizehowthatcouldbetakenuntilIalreadysaidit.
We were sitting in the second level of the bleachers. Since it was a Friday game, the crowd

wasn’tasbig.Andwegotprettygoodseatsfordirt-cheap.Rykerworejeansandat-shirt,andhisnice
armswerenoticeable.

Iliftedthehotdogandgotitintomymouth.IhadtotakeabigbitebecauseifItooklittleones,

thewholethingwouldfallapart.Therewasaspecificartwhenitcametoconsumingaballparkhot
dog.

Rykerwatchedmethewholetime,examiningeverymoveImade.Silently,hewatchedmeeatthe

entirething,fromoneendtotheother.

“Damn,thatwasgood.”Iwipedmymouthwithanapkinandfelttheburnofthepeppers.
Rykeradjustedthefrontofhisjeans.“Thatwasjustmean.”
“What?”
“You want me to be a gentleman, but you put on that little show? That’s like waving a treat in

frontofadogeventhoughyouknowhecan’thaveit.”

“I’msorryyoumisinterpretedeverything.Iwasjusteatingmydinner.”
“You’rethebiggestteaseI’veevermet.”
“Amnot.”
Hestaredforwardandwatchedthegame.“Whatever.”
I leaned toward him and moved my hand up his thigh. My lips slowly moved to his ear, and I

pressedakissagainsttheshell.“Ican’twaituntilIhaveyouinmymouth.I’msureyou’lltastemuch
betterthanthatchilidog.”Islowlypulledaway,takingmyhandwithme.

His breathing changed, increasing in pace. When he looked at me, there was a whole new

expressiononhisface.Itlookedlikehewantedtograbmebythebackoftheneckanddragmeoutof
there.

“Now,thatwasatease.”
Heflaredhisnostrilsthengrowled.
“Didyoujustgrowlatme?”
“Yes,Ifuckingdid.”Hegrabbedmebythebackoftheneckandyankedmylipsagainsthis.The

kiss was hard, practically violent. He crushed his mouth against mine and silently told me all the
thingshewantedtodotome.Hesuckedmybottomlipwithperfectprecisionbeforehepulledaway.

“Thisgentlemanthingisgettingold.”

“Technically,Ineveraskedyoutobeagentleman.”
Heeyedmylipsforafullminutebeforehemetmygaze.“Butyouaskedforsomethingmore.”
WhenIlookedintothosebeautifulgreeneyes,IknewIwasslippingaway.Iwantedmore—alot

more. I’d successfully kept my heart locked away for so long, but now the seal on my chest was
cracked.“Thatdoesn’tmeanwecan’tgetdirtytoo…”

Heleanedclosetomelikehewasgoingtokissmeagain.Insteadofpressinghislipstomine,he

restedthemagainstmyear.Hetookadeepbreathlikehewasbattlingsomethingdeepinsidehimself.

I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but I liked being this close to him. It was intimate affection

withoutkissingortouching.

“We’ll get so dirty,” he said. “Filthy, actually. But we’ll keep tonight holy—this one time.” He

kissedmyear,andIcouldhearthesoundofhislipsandhistongue.Hepulledaway,hisdarkeyesstill
onme.

Thefacthewasn’tgivinginjustmademewanthimmore.
AndIdidn’tevenknowthatwaspossible.

***

Ryker drove back to my apartment. The radio wasn’t on, and only the sound of his powerful

enginecouldbeheardinthecar.Allthelightsofhisdashboardshinedandilluminatedhisface.

I stuck to my side of the car and tried not to think about his naked body on top of mine. All I

wantedwastorollaroundwithhim,tofeelthesheetsclingtothesweatonmyback.Heat,passion,
andlustconsumedme.ButsinceIwasn’tgettinglaidtonight,Ihadtostopthinkingaboutit.

Rykerkepthiseyesontheroadbutdiscreetlygrabbedmyhand.Hediditsosmoothly,itwaslike

he didn’t do it at all. His large hand cupped mine. His strong pulse could be felt through my
fingertips. Heat flushed through my skin, making me think about those sticky sheets again. “Thank
youforgoingtothegamewithme.”

“Thankyoufortakingme.”
HiseyesweregluedtotheroadbutIknewtheywantedtolookatme.“Nomorepimpingmeout

toyourfriends,alright?”

Ismiled.“Okay.”
“Becauseneitheroneofthemismytype.”
“How is that possible?” Jessie was a brunette and Kayden was a blonde. And they were both

stunning.

Heshrugged.“IguessIonlyhaveonetypeatthemoment.”
Like a schoolgirl, I blushed. Thankfully, it was dark in the car so my embarrassing reaction

couldn’tbeseen.

“Nomoredates.”
“This is already exclusive?” I wanted to be exclusive, but I was surprised he demanded

monogamyfirst.

“We’redating,aren’twe?”
“Thatdoesn’tnecessarilymeanyoudon’tseeotherpeople.”
“Well,Idon’twantyoutoseeotherpeople.I’mguessingyoudon’twantmetoseeotherpeople.”
Notevenalittlebit.“No.”
“Then that’s settled.” He pulled off the freeway and made it to the city streets. “How’s your

mom?”

Theunexpectedquestioncaughtmebysurprise.Iwasn’tevenawarethatheknewwhomymom

was.“Uh…she’sbeengonealmosttenyearsnow.”

Rykerdidn’treactovertly,butafterafewseconds,hereleasedaquietsigh.“I’msorry.Ididn’t

know.”

“It’sokay.”
“Rexnevermentionedit.”
“ShepassedawayafteryoumovedtoNewYork.That’sprobablywhyyoudidn’tknow.”
“Whathappened?Ifyoudon’tmindmeasking?”
Itwasasadstory,andIdidn’tliketellingit.“Shestruggledwithdepressionforalongtime.My

dadleftuswhenwewereyoung,andsheneverrecoveredfromit.Oneday,wecamehomeandfound
heronthefloorwithanemptybottleofpainkillersbesideher.”

“Shit,”hewhispered.“I’msorry.”
“It’sokay,”Isaid.“RexwaseighteenandIwasfifteen.Sincehewasalegaladult,hebecamemy

guardian and took care of us. It was difficult because he didn’t know what he was doing. Until that
point,hewasenjoyinghisfreedomanddoingwhateverhewanted.Westruggledforalongtime.”

Henoddedslowly.“Everythingisstartingtomakemoresensenow…”
“RexstillseeshimselfasmyguardianeventhoughI’moldenoughtotakecareofmyself.”
“Andthat’swhyyou’resolenientaboutit.”Henoddedagain.“Iunderstandnow.”
“Yeah…”
Hesqueezedmyhandandbrushedhisthumbacrossmyskin.
Thataffectionwasenoughtomakemefeelalittlebetter.

***

Rykerwalkedmetothedoor,hishandstillinmine.“Ihadagreattime.”
“Ididtoo.”
Hefacedmethenplacedhisarmsaroundmywaist.Helookeddownatmewithlonginginhis

eyes. He slowly pressed his forehead to mine and rested it there. Silence passed for minutes. It was
clearRykerdidn’twanttoleave.

Ididn’twanthimtogoeither.
Hesqueezedthesmallofmyback.“Iwanttosleepwithyou.”
Iknewwhathemeant.“Idotoo.”
“I’mnotmuchofasnuggler,butIliketocuddlewithyou.”
“Well,Iwenttoschoolforitandeverything…”
Aslightsmilecreptontohislips.“IguessthisiswhereIsaygoodnight.”
“Yeah…”Ididn’twanttolieinmybedallalone.Iwantedthisstrongmanbesideme,tokissmy

shoulderinthemorningthenburyhisfaceinmyneck.Iwantedgoodsex,allnightlong.

Heleanedinandgavemeaclosed-mouthkissonthelips.Itwassimpleandrestrained,themost

boringkisswe’veeverhad.Hepulledawayquickly,likehewaskissinganaunt.

Iraisedaneyebrow.“Whatthehellwasthat?”
“Ican’tgiveyouarealkissrightnow,”hesaid.“BecauseIknowwhatwillhappen.”
“Soyougivemeagrannykiss?”
“Agrannykiss?What’sthat?”
“Thekindofkissyougiveyourgrandmother.”
“Uh,thanks,”hesaidsarcastically.
“Well,itwas.”
“YouknowI’madamngoodkisser.ButifIletmyselfgetcarriedaway…”Heeyedthewallnext

tomyfrontdoor.“I’mgoingtopickyouupandfuckyourightthere.So,aG-ratedkissisallyou’re
getting.”

“Thatdoesn’tsoundsobad…”
Hegrowledinmyface.“Whyareyoumakingthissodifficultforme?”
“You’retheonewhodecidedtobeaprude.”

“I’mjusttryingtogetyoutobemine.Yousaidyouwantedsomethingmore,soI’mgivingyoua

date.Thisiswhatpeopledoondates.”

“Andthentheyscrewafterward.That’sthewholepointofthedate.”
He closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to restrain himself. “On our next date, I’ll fuck

yousohardyouwon’tbeabletowalk.Alright?”

Mycoretightenedinlonging.“When’sthatgonnabe?”
“Itcouldbetomorrow,butyou’regoingoutwithZeke.”Histonechangednoticeably.
“Well,Icancomeoverafterward…”
“Afteryougoouttodinnerwithhim?”heasked.“No,thanks.”
“Don’tbelikethat.”Imethisglarewithmyown.“Itoldyouthisisnon-negotiable.”
“Youknow,Ireallyhateitwhenwomentellmewhattodo.”
Icrossedmyarmsovermychest.“Well,youaren’tgoingtolikemeverymuch.”
Hestaredatmeforseveralheartbeats.“Actually,IthinkthatiswhyIlikeyou—inacomplicated

way.”Hekissedmeonthecheekbeforehesteppedback.“Goodnight,Rae.”

IknewIwasn’tgoingtogetmyway,soIletitgo.“Goodnight,Ryker.”
“Sweetdreams,”hesaid.“Ihopeyouthinkofme.”
IknewIwouldbethinkingofhim—verysoon.

***

I tossed and turned and couldn’t get to sleep. I kept thinking about those soft lips kissing my

body.Thewayhekissedmyearmademyhairstandonend.IwantedRyker,andmymindcouldn’t
stopthinkingaboutit.

Neithercouldmybody.
I grabbed my vibrator out of the nightstand and didn’t feel any guilt as I did it. Just before I

turnediton,myphonerang.

IstaredatthescreenandsawRyker ’sname.Maybehewasatmyfrontdoorbecausehechanged

hismind.Thatwouldbethegreatestnewsever.“Hello?”

His breathing was heavy, like he was doing something other than lying in bed. “I want my big

cockinthatprettylittlemouthofyours.”Thesoundofalubricatedhandmovingquicklywasheard
throughthephone.

HisfirstwordstoldmeeverythingIneededtoknow,andtheyturnedmeonlikecrazy.Iturned

onmyvibratorandpressedittightlyagainstmyclit.Thevibrationimmediatelygotmewet,wetter
thanIalreadywas.Wewerestrongenoughtowalkawayfromeachothertonight,butwebothgave
intothetemptationanyway.“Thenputitin.”

ChapterNine

Rex
Kaydenopenedthedoor.
Andmyjawdropped.
Sheworeaskin-tightblackdresswithsilverheels.Herlonglegslookedsuperlongintheshort

dress.Herslimandtonedthighsalmostlookedfakebecausetheywereshapedsoperfectly.

Herhourglassfigurewashighlightedintheslimfabric.Herhipswerewideandtheyledtoatiny

waist. Up farther, she had a boobalicious chest. I’d always thought Kayden was pretty but tonight…
damn.

Herblondehairwasinlusciouscurls,thekindIlikedtofistwhenIwasscrewingagirlfrom

behind.Sheworelightmakeup,andtheenhancementbroughtoutherblueeyesandfulllips.

Fuck.
Kaydenwatchedmyexpression,hereyesglowingwithsomethingIcouldn’tidentify.“Hi.”
“Hi…”Icouldn’tstopstaringatherlegs.Hadtheyalwaysbeenthatsexy?HowdidInotnotice

thatbefore?WasKaydenalwaysthishot?Wasitjustbecauseshecurledherhair?“Youlook…wow.”

“Thanks.”Herfaceturnedcrimson.Atomatocouldn’tevencompetewithher.
I stepped back and allowed her to lock the door. When she was turned around, my eyes

immediatelywenttoherlegsandherass.

Thatwasnicetoo.
“Readytogo?”Sheturnedaround,herclutchtuckedunderherarm.
Ineededtoadjustmyjeansbecausemydickwasgettingintheway,butIcouldn’tdothatinfront

ofher.“Yeah,let’sgo.”

***

Wesatatthebar.Peoplechitchattedquietlyaroundusandclassicalmusicplayedoverhead.The

placewascrowdedbutthebackgroundnoisewasataminimalvolume.Ipreferredregularbarswith
cheapbooze,butsinceshewasdressedlikethat,Ithoughtweshouldcomehereinstead.

Herlegswerecrossedandpivotedtowardmeonthestool.
I kept glancing at her legs uncontrollably. Knock it off, man. She’s like your sister. “How was

work?”

“Good,”shesaid.“Itwasprettyslow,butIlikeitlikethat.”
“Soyoudon’thavetodoanything?”
“No.SoIcanread.”
“Gotcha.”
“Plus,it’squiet.”
Ishookmyhead.“Idon’tthinkIcouldhandleallthequiet.Itwoulddrivemecrazy.Hearingthe

bowlingballscrashagainstthepinseverytensecondsissoothingformeatthispoint.”

“Really?”Shesmiledlikeshewasenjoyingtheconversation.“Thatwouldgivemeaheadache.”
“Ijustliketobearoundpeople—bearoundlife.”
“I’mtooshyforthat.”
“That’snottrue,”Isaid.“I’veseenyouwithJessieandRae.Thethreeofyouaretrouble.”
“Well,that’sdifferent,”shesaid.“They’remybestfriends.Icandoanythingwiththem.”
“IguessIfeelthatwaywithZeke.”Buttherewasn’tsomethingIdidwithhimthatIwouldn’tdo

withanyoneelse.

“How’sthebowlingalley?”
“Stillamess,”Isaid.“Ihavetwoemployees.”
“Areyouoneofthetwo?”sheaskedwithasmile.
“Actually,I’mthethirdemployee.ButIhaveafeelingI’mgoingtohavetocutsomeonesoon.”

“Hopefullythingsturnaroundwithallthechanges.”
“Yeah,butthat’lltakeawhile.I’mreallyluckyZekeandRaearewillingtohelpme.”
Shesippedherdrinkthenreturnedittothecounterwithnothingbutgrace.“Theyloveyou.”
“Yeah,Iknow.SometimesIwonderwhy.”
“Becauseyou’reasweetperson,Rex.”
IalwaysgotthemostcomplimentsfromKayden.ShesaidnicethingstomealmosteverytimeI

sawher.Everyoneelsemadefunofmewhenevertheyhadthechance.“Thanks.”

“Raetoldmeyourconversationaboutherpersonallifewentwell.”
“Yeah…thatwasabitawkward.Butwegotthroughit.”
“Shesaidyou’vebeenstickingwithit.”Shestirredherdrinkbeforeshetookanothersip.“That’s

good.”

“Islipupsometimes,”Isaid.“I’msousedtoaskingwhereshe’sgoingandwhoshe’swith…like

aparent.She’sbeenthroughalot,andIcan’tlethergethurtagain.It’snotaprotectivebrotherthing.
It’safamilything.”

“Igetthat.”
“ThethingaboutRaeis,she’sreallyconfident.That’snotabadthing.Butsometimes,shethinks

she’sstrongerthanshereallyis.I’mafraidshe’lltakeonmorethanshecanhandle,andwhentheload
istooheavy,she’llcollapse.”

“Iknowexactlywhatyoumean.”
“Ihatebeingthevoiceofreasoninherhead,butIhavetodoit.”
“Sheappreciatesit,Rex.”
Ifeltlikewetalkedaboutmysisteralot.Iremindedmyselfofaparentwhocouldn’tstoptalking

abouttheirkids.Whenmymompassedaway,itforcedmetobeanadult.SinceIhadtotakeonthat
rolesoquicklywhilehavingateenagegirltolookafter,it’sbeeningrainedinmeeversince.“Iwish
arrangedmarriageswerestillathing.”

“Why?”sheaskedwithalaugh.
“Icouldgooutandfindtherightguyforher,andthenIwouldbedone.”
Shechuckled.“RaewillfindMr.Rightonherown.”
“Idon’tknow…she’sbroughthomealotoflosers.”
“Youthinkeveryguyisaloser.”
Ididn’tthinkZekewas.Truthfully,Zekewasthebestpersonforher.Hecouldtakecareofher,

talkherdownwhenshewasworkedupoversomething,andhewouldalwaysrespectherandtreather
right.Moreimportantly,hewouldmakeherhappy.ButIhadafeelingtheywerenevergoingtoend
uptogethersoIshouldn’twastemyhopesanddreamsonit.

“DoyouthinkRaewillbethatwaywhenyoustartseeingsomeone?”
“Ha,”Isaidsarcastically.“No.Raedoesn’tcare.SheknowsIcanlookaftermyself.”
“So…haveyoubeenseeinganybody?”
“Ihookedupwiththisgirlatthebowlingalley.That’saboutit.”
“Oh…”Shelookeddownatherdrink.“Recently?”
“Yeah,itwasjusttheotherday.Westartedflirtingatthecounter,andbeforeIknewit,wewere

screwinginthemen’sbathroom.Thensheleft.”Therewasn’tasingleromanticaspecttoit.Weboth
justwantedtogetlaid,evenifitwasagainstthebathroomstall.

Kaydenstirredherdrink,hereyesdowncast.
Ieyedher,noticingthesuddenchangeofmood.“DidIsaysomething?”
Sheshookitoff.“No,no.IwasjustthinkingaboutsomethingIforgottodoatwork…”
“Screwaguyinthebathroom?”Iteased.
Sheforcedalaughbutitwasclearlyfake.

“Notreallyyourthing?”
“Notsomuch.”
InevertalkedtoKaydenaboutherpersonallife,soIdidn’treallyknowanything.“Areyouthe

hit-it-and-quit-itkindofgirl?”Sheneverhadaboyfriend,soIassumedthatmustbethecase.

“No.”Sheshookherheadquickly.“No,definitelynot.”
“Thendoyoudateonthedownlow?”
“Uh…sometimes.”
Didshehaveanactivepersonallifeatall?Shewaswaytooprettynottogetoffersleftandright.

Maybeshefeltuncomfortabletalkingaboutitwithme,whichwaswhyshewasn’tsayingmuch.WasI
repeatingthesamemistakesImadewithmysister?“Seeanygoodmovieslately?”

“IsawTheRevenant.Ireallylikedit.”
“WithLeo?”Iasked.“I’vebeenmeaningtoseeit.”
“Youshould.It’syourkindofmovie.”
“HowdoyouknowwhatkindofmoviesIlike?”
Sheshrugged.“Ijustknowwhatyou’reinto.”
Wecontinuedtalkingaboutmusicandmoviesforthenexthour.Shewasmorerelaxedaround

methansheusuallywas,soweweredefinitelymakingprogress.I’mgladIsaidsomethingbecauseit
wastootenseformyliking.Itactuallyfeltlikewewerefriends—finally.

“Excuseme,”shesaid.“I’mgoingtopowdermynose.”
“What?”Iblurted.
“ItmeansI’mgoingtothebathroom.”
“Oh.”Inodded.“Thatwastooclassyformetounderstand.”
Shegavemeasmilebeforeshewalkedaway.Instantly,allheadsturnedheraway,admiringher

perfectphysiqueandgorgeouslegs.

Iwasn’tashamedtoadmitit.Istaredatherasstheentiretime.
“Excuseme?”Afemininehandgrippedmyshoulder.
“What’sup?”Iturnedinherdirectionandsawacutebrunette.Shewastallforawoman,justless

thansixfeet.

“Areyouwithanyone?”
“No.I’mjusthangingoutwithmyfriend.”IlookedherupanddownandlikedwhatIsaw.“See

somethingyoulike?”

Shesmiled.“Ido,actually.MynameisReina.”
“Hey,Reina.”Ishookherhand.“I’mRex.”
“It’snicetomeetyou.”Shestoodtherelikesheexpectedmetoofferheradrink.
“I’dlovetochat,butIdon’twanttoignoremyfriend.CanIhaveyournumbersoIcangiveyou

acalllater?”

“Thatsoundsperfect.”Shewrotehernumberdownonthenapkin.
“Ilookforwardtoit.”Sheflippedherhairoveroneshoulderasshewalkedaway.
Iwatchedhergo,wonderingwhatkindofkinkshewasinto.
Justwhenshewasgone,anothergirlcameuptothepitcher ’smound.“Sorrytobotheryou,butI

thinkyou’rereallycute.”

“Whodoesn’t?”Ismiledandshruggedatthesametime.“Andwhatacoincidence.Ithinkyou’re

cutetoo.”

Shechuckled.“Whataretheodds?”
“I’mactuallywithafriendrightnow,soI’mnotavailableforchitchat.CanIhaveyournumber

soIcancallyoulater?”IjusthopedIdidn’tgethermixedupwiththeothergirl.

“Thatsoundsgreat.”Shegrabbedanapkinandscribbledhernumberdown.Shealsoaddedher

name.

Ireadhernameoutloud.“It’snicetomeetyou,Hannah.I’mRex.”
“It’snicetomeetyoutoo.IhopeIcangettoknowyoubetter.”
“Ihaveastrongfeelingyouwill.”
Shegavemeasweetsmilebeforeshewalkedaway.
Damn,I’mawesome.Ididn’tevenhavetoputthemovesonanyonetonight.Theyjustflockedto

me.

Kayden came back from the bathroom, attracting the attention of the entire bar as she walked.

Shereturnedtothestoolandsetherclutchonthecounter.“Hopeyouweren’ttooboredwhileIwas
gone.”

“Actually,Iwasn’t.”Iheldupthetwonapkins.“Iscoredtwonumbers.Prettyslick,huh?”
She stared at the napkins like they were two insects. Almost immediately, she became tense all

over again. Eye contact was broken, and she fidgeted with her clutch. “I just realized I need to get
home.”

What?We’donlybeenhereforanhour.Wedidn’tevengettodinneryet.
“Itwasniceseeingyou,Rex.I’lltalktoyoulater.”Shestoodupandleftthestool.
“Whoa,what?Areyoumadorsomething?”
“No,”shesaidquickly,stillnotlookingatme.“Ijustremembered…Ihavetofeedmydog.”
Herdog?“Youdon’thaveadog.”
“I’mwatchingitforafriend.”Shewalkedawaywithoutevensayinggoodbyetome.
Whatthefuck?
I watched her go, trying to figure out what just happened. She went to the bathroom and

everything was fine. But as soon as she started talking to me, she flipped out and left. What was I
missing?

Iwentafterherandfollowedhertothesidewalk.Shewasheadingtoherapartmenttotheleft.
Icaughtuptoher.“Kayden,holdon.”
Shekeptwalking.“I’lltalktoyoulater,Rex.I’minahurryrightnow.”
“Just talk to me. Did I do something? Say something?” I got tired of her ignoring me, so I

grabbedherbythearmandforcedhertostopinhertracks.“Kayden,talktome.”

Whenherfacewasvisible,hereyeswerefulloftears.Hercheekswereblotchyandred,andher

chestwasexpandingatanalarmingrate.

Inshock,Ijuststaredather.“Idon’tknowwhatIdidtoupsetyou,butI’msorry.”
“It’snotyou.”Shepulledawayandsniffled.“Justletmego.”Shetwistedoutofmygraspand

keptwalking.

Ishouldhavegoneafterher,butIdidn’t.NotonceinmylifedidIunderstandwomen.Itwasa

scienceIneverstudied.ButneverinmylifehadIbeenmoreconfusedthanIwasrightthen.

Whatjusthappened?

***

I walked in the door feeling like shit. I tossed my keys on the table, but they slid across the

surfaceandfelltothefloor.

Ididn’tbotherpickingthemup.
RaewasKayden’sbestfriend,soIdecidedtoaskheraboutit.MaybeIdidsomethingincredibly

offensive,andIdidn’tevenrealizeit.Ineededthehelpofanotherwomanforthisone.

Raecamedownthehall,dressedtogoout.“Hey.Ineedtotalktoyou.”
“That’sperfectbecauseIneedtotalktoyoutoo.”
Herpursewasoverhershoulder,andherhairwasincurls.“Okay,Iknowthisisstrange,butjust

bearwithme.”

Couldmynightgetanyworse?
“WhenItoldyounothingwasgoingonbetweenRykerandme,Imeantit.Thatwasthetruth.We

werejustfriendswhohadanattractiontoeachother.Ididn’twanttogetinvolvedwithhimbecause
he’samanwhore.Butheaskedmeouttheotherday,andIsaidyes.Wewenttoaballgameandhada
greattime.Sincewehititoffsowell,I’mgoingtoseehimagain.”

Kayden left my mind immediately. “Whoa…hold on.” That was a ton of information to get in

thirtyseconds.“So,you’redatingRykernow?”

“Yes.”
Thatwasmyworstnightmare.“No.Rae.No.”
Sheraisedaneyebrow.
“He’s the biggest player I know. He’s worse than me, if you can imagine it. He’s not good

enoughforyou,andheneverwillbe.He’sjustgoingtobreakyourheart.Justtrustmeonthis.”

Shecrossedherarmsoverherchest.“Whatdidwetalkabout,Rex?”
“Iknow.Iknow.”Iraisedbothofmyhandsinfrustration.“I’mnottryingtostickmynosewhere

itdoesn’tbelong,butIneedtowarnyou.Hemightbeasmoothtalker,buthe’sjusttryingtogetinto
yourpants.”

“Rex,I’mabiggirl,andIcanmakemyowndecisions.”
“I’mjusttryingtosaveyousometimeandheartbreak.”
“Rykeraskedmeoutonadate—arealone.Thisisn’tafling.”
“That’swhathewantsyoutothink.”Rykerwasagoodguy,ingeneral.ButIdidn’twanthimwith

mysister.

“He’sdifferentwithme.”
I rolled my eyes. “Every guy is different with you. But then they all end up showing their true

colors.”

She stomped her foot. “Rex, I’m not asking for your permission. I’m just telling you what’s

goingon.Don’tgetthosetwothingsmixedup.”

“Ireally,reallythinkthisisabadidea.”
“Well,Idon’tcarewhatyouthink.Ireallylikehim,andIwanttobewithhim.”
God,thiswasterrible.
“So,justletitgo.”
I wanted to keep arguing, but would that do me any good? “Don’t expect me to comfort you

whenhebreaksyourheart,Rae.BecauseIwon’t.”Isawtheendingbeforeitevenbegan.Shewould
fallinlovewithhim,andhewouldmoveonwithasupermodel.I’dseenitenoughtimes.

“Youhaven’tseenhimintenyears.Youdon’tevenknowwhathe’slikeanymore.”
“Iknowhehasn’tchanged.”
“Whatever.”Sheheldupherhandtosilenceme.“Youcanbitchandmoanallyouwant,butit’s

notgoingtochangeanything.”

“Fine.Gowasteyourtime.SeeifIcare.”
“Idon’t.”Shestompedherfootagain.
Thedoorbellrang.
My eyes immediately went to it, and the rage kicked in. “Is it him?” It would be the perfect

opportunitytoriphisheadoff.

“It’sZeke.”
Theangerimmediatelydieddown.“Zeke?”
“We’regoingtodinnertonight.”Sheopenedthedoorandgreetedhim.“Hey.Areyouashungry

asIam?”

Shit.TodaywasSaturday.

ShewashavingdinnerwithZeke.
Andhewasgoingtotellherabouthisfeelings.
Fuck,hewasgoingtogetdemolished.“Zeke,Ineedtotalktoyouforasecond.”Iwasn’tgoing

toletmyfriendmakeanidiotofhimself.Hewouldneverrecoverfromthat.

“No.”Raegrabbedhisarm.“We’realreadyrunninglate,andyoutwotalkforeverlikeabunch

ofschoolgirls.”

Zekechuckled.“Shehasapoint,man.”
“No,thisisdamnimportant.”Igrabbedhisotherarm.
“Rex.”Raepushedmeoff.“Notnow.Ialreadyknowwhatyou’regoingtosay,andIdon’thave

timeforit.”WhenshegrabbedZeke,heimmediatelyletherpullhimalongbecausehewaswhipped
likeadamnpussy.

“Zeke.” I followed him out the door then I made a gesture with my hand that said, “Don’t tell

her.”

Hetiltedhisheadtotheside.“What?”
“Rex,whatareyoudoing?”Raeasked.
Iignoredher.“Dude,don’tdothethingyouweregonnado.YouknowwhatI’mtalkingabout?”
Zekestilllookedconfused.“Uh…”
“Just don’t do the thing you were going to do,” I said firmly. “Abort it.” I hoped he would

understandIwastellinghimthisforareason,notjustbecauseIdidn’tparticularlylikeit.

“Whatthing?”Raeasked.“Rex,whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“Trustme,”IsaidtoZeke.“Don’t.Do.It.”
“Zeke,what’shetalkingabout?”Raeasked.
Zeke’seyebrowsfurrowed.“I’mnotsure…”
“Well,let’sgo.”Raestartedtowalkaway.“I’mstarving.”
Zekegavemeaconfusedlookbeforehewalkedaway.
Ihadafeelingthiswasgoingtobeadisaster.Ipulledoutmyphoneandsenthimatextmessage.

Hewouldprobablycheckitsometimebeforetheyhaddinner.Dude,don’ttellherhowyoufeel.She
justtoldmeshe’sdatingRykerandshe’sreallyintohim.I’msorry,man.

Poorguy.

ChapterTen

Rae
“WouldyoujudgemeifIgottheribs?”
Zeke looked at me from across the table, the corner of his lip upturned in a smile. “Do I ever

judgeyouforanything?”

“True.That’swhywe’refriends.”IclosedthemenubecauseIknewexactlywhatIwanted.
“I’msurethere’smoretoit.”Hesethismenudown.
After the waiter brought our drinks and took our order, we were alone again. I couldn’t stop

thinking about that conversation Rex just had with Zeke. “So, what was that weird thing back at the
apartment?”

“WithRex?”
“Yeah.”
Heshrugged.“YouknowRex.Scientistshavebeenstudyinghimforyears,andtheystilldon’t

understandhim.”

Ilaughed.“Yeah,Iguessthat’strue.”
“How’swork?”
“Good.I’mworkingonthatbiodegradablepackagingproject,andI’veseengoodresults.”
“That’sawesome,”hesaid.“Ifitworksout,itcouldreallychangetheconsumers’habits.”
“Iknow.I’mjustworrieditwon’tbeconvenientenough.Weliveinaworldwheremostpeople

gettheirnutritionthroughthedrive-thruandmicrowavedinners.Thismightbetoomuchforthem.”

Henodded.“Iseewhatyoumean.Butthere’salargepopulationofpeopleintheU.S.thatreally

careaboutrecyclingandprotectingtheenvironment.You’llappealtothem.”

“True.”
“Ithinkit’sgreatwhatyou’redoing,Rae.Itreallymakesadifference.”Heheldmygazewithout

blinking.

He always gave me looks like that, like he was fond of me or proud of me. He was a mix

betweenabestfriendandabrother.SometimesIfeltmorecomfortabletellinghimthingsthanJessie
andKayden.ZekeandIclickedthemomentwecrossedpaths.Itjustfeltrightwithhim.“Thanks.”

Hesippedhisbeerbutcontinuedtolookatme.
“How’stheoffice?”
“Good.Ihadapatientwithseverecysticacne.ItwastheworstI’veeverseen.Overthecourseof

threemonths,I’vebeentreatingitwithantibiotics,topicalcream,andaspecificmoisturizer.It’sdone
wonders. When she came in the other day, she started crying because her face had improved so
much.”

“Awe…”
Emotionwasinhiseyes.“Yeah…Ilovemyjob.”
“That’ssogreatforher.Issheyoung?”
“Sixteen.”
“Oh,sothat’sareallybigdeal.”
“Itis,”hesaid.“She’saprettygirl,soshe’sgoingtohavealotofself-esteemnow.”
“That’sgreat.”
“Herparentsdidn’thavegoodinsurance,sotheycouldn’taffordmostofthemedications.SoI

didn’tchargeherformytime.”

Thatdidn’tsurprisemeatall.“You’resosweet,Zeke.IfIweresick,I’dwantyoutotakecareof

me.”

Hesmiled.“Iwouldalwaystakecareofyou,Rae.”
Ourconversationwasinterruptedwhenthefoodarrived.Mybabybackribslookedmessy,and

hischickenlookedelegant.

Zekeeyedmyfood.“ShouldIaskforextranapkins?”
“Thatwouldprobablybebest.”
Hewaveddownthewaiter.
Once I had them, I set them right next to me. I’d definitely need them for this meal. “Seeing

anybody?” Zeke didn’t usually have girlfriends, at least serious ones. He’d see someone for a few
weeksbeforehemovedontosomeoneelse.

“Notrightnow.”
“Takingabreak?”Iasked.“Needtorecuperate?”Hetoldmeaboutthissexaddicthewasseeing.

Itwasfunatfirstuntilhisdickfeltsore.

Hechuckled.“Yeah,Iguess.”Helookeddownathisfoodasheate.
IshouldtellhimaboutRykersincehewouldhearaboutitfrommybrother.AndI’dratherhave

Zekeheartherealstoryofwhathappenedratherthantheridiculousonemybrothermadeup.

“Speaking of seeing people…” He stopped eating altogether and set down his fork. “There’s

somethingIwanttotalkabout,andit’snotexactlyeasy.”Herubbedthebackofhisneckanddidn’t
makeeyecontactwithmeforalongtime.

Seeing Zeke nervous about anything wasn’t normal. He was always confident and good with

words.Myphonevibratedonthetableandlitup.IfeltrudelookingatitwhenZekewastryingtotell
mesomethingimportantsoIignoredit.

Zekeglancedatit.“It’sokay.”
Iquicklycheckedit.
ItwasamessagefromRyker.Justdinner.Notouching.
I rolled my eyes and set the phone down again. Ryker wasn’t even my boyfriend, and he was

alreadyannoyingme.

“Everythingokay?”Zekeasked.
“Yeah,it’snothing.Whatwereyousaying?”Itookabiteofmymashedpotatoes.
He paused again before he started up. “I’ve been feeling this for a long time, and I’ve debated

tellingyou.Itcouldmakeyouuncomfortable,butIhopeitdoesn’tbecauseitcouldalsoleadtogreat
thingssoIfeellikeIshouldtellyou.IfIdon’tsayanything,I’llregretit—”

Myphonelitupagain.
Goddammit,Ryker.
Zekehaltedandstaredatit.“It’sokay.”Hewasn’tthekindofpersontogetmadatanythingfor

anyreason.Hewaslaidbackandmellow.

“I’msorry.I’lljustturnitoff.”Igrabbedthephoneandreadthemessage.Comeoverafterward.I

wanttokisseveryinchofyouuntilhispresencehisgone.

Hereallywasridiculous.
Iturnedoffthephoneandshoveditintomypurse.
“MayIaskwhatthat’sabout?”Zekeasked.“Isitimportant?”
“No,notimportantatall.”IfRykerweren’tsodamnhotandsweet,Iwouldn’tputupwithit.“It’s

justRyker,being…Ryker.”

Zekeheldmygaze,buthislookslightlychanged.Hisseriousnessebbedawayandwasreplaced

with intensity. Thoughts ran through his mind. I could see it on the surface of his eyes but couldn’t
makeoutexactlywhatthosethoughtswere.“YouandRykertalkalot?”

“Well…it’salongstory.I’lltellyouwhenyou’redone.”
Zeke didn’t finish his story. He dropped it entirely. “When you say it’s a long story, does that

meanyou’reseeinghim?”Heswallowedthelumpinhisthroat,andtheusualconfidenceinhislook
andframedisappeared.

“Actually,yeah.”
Hedidn’treactatall.Hestaredatmeblankly,hisentirebodyrigid.Thenhiseyesslowlystarted

todriftdownuntilhewasstaringatthesurfaceofthetable.Heclosedhiseyesandbreathedadeep
sigh.

“Don’ttellmeyou’reagainstthistoo,”Isaid.“IjusttoldRexattheapartment,andheactedlike

itwastheworstthingintheworld.”

Zekerubbedhistemple.
“When we first met in the park, there was obvious chemistry there. When we met again, the

sparksflewalloveragain.Wehookedup,anditwasreallygreat.ButImovedonafterthatbecauseI
knew what kind of guy he was.” I wouldn’t tell any of this to Rex because it was just awkward, but
ZekeandItoldeachothereverything.Heknewwhattofilteroutwhenhespoketomybrother.“But
thenwestartedworkingtogetherandspendingmoretimetogether.Heaskedmeouttheothernight
andIsaidyes.Therestishistory.Idon’tknowwhatitisabouthim,butIreallylikehim.Hemakesme
feel…alive.Youknow?”

Zeke hadn’t looked at me once. He was still rubbing his temple like he was fighting off a

migraine.

“Zeke?”
Hesatupstraightanddroppedhishand.“Yeah,that’sgreat.Rykerisabitofaladies’man,but

I’msureyouknowthat.”

At least he was being supportive about it, unlike Rex. Rex never thought anyone was good

enoughforme.“Yeah.I’mnotgoingintothisasanignorantperson.Iunderstandtherisks,butIthink
everythingwillbefine.”

Hegrabbedhisforkandpokedathisfood.Theatmospherearoundhimwasbleakanddark.He

slouchedatthetable,hisshoulderscomingdownandhisbackarching.Hedidn’tlooklikehimselfat
all.

“Zeke?”
“Hmm?”Heflickedhischickenaround.
“Istheresomethingwrong?”
“No,notatall.”
Heneverlied,butIgotthedistinctimpressionhewasn’tbeingtruthful.“Areyousure?”
“Yeah…”Heshookhisheadashestaredoffintothedistance.“Ijust…nevermind.”
“What?”Ipressed.
“It’snothing.It’ssomethingthathappenedatwork…notworthmentioning.”
“Okay.”Idroppedthesubjectbecauseitdidn’tseemlikehewantedtodiscussit.“Whatwereyou

goingtosay?”

“Oh…yeah.”Hesethisforkdownagain.“I’vebeendoingalotofthinkingaboutRex’sbowling

alley.”

Didhewanttopulloutoftheinvestment?
“I think I should invest all the money. I already own a house and a business. You should save

yourmoneyforahouseorsomething.”

Thatwaswhathewantedtotalkabout?Hemadeitseemlikesomethingseriouswasgoingon.

“Zeke,it’sreallyokay.Iwouldn’thaveofferedifIwasn’tfinanciallyabletohandleit.”

“Butthere’sachanceyoucouldloseallthatmoney.”
“I’mokaywiththat,”Isaid.“Ireallywanttomakethisworkformybrother.I’mnotsurewhat

elsehewoulddo,youknow?Icantellhe’salwaysfeltalittlelost.”

Henodded.“Iknowwhatyoumean.”
“So,it’sfine.Don’tworryaboutit.”

“Okay.”Hekepthisheaddownasheate.
Theconversationwasalottenserthanitwastenminutesago,andIcouldn’tfigureoutwhy.The

normal atmosphere we had was non-existent. Instead of two close friends having dinner together, it
almostfeltliketwostrangers.Iwantedtoaskiftherewassomethingelsehewasn’ttellingme,butif
hedidn’twanttotalkaboutit,Iwasn’tgoingtopullitoutofhim.

So,Ijuststayedquiet.

***

RexwasinthekitchenwhenIgothome.Itwasclearhe’dbeenpacingjustbeforeIwalkedinside.

His arms were across his chest and he was wearing the same thing as earlier. “How’d it go?” He
blurteditoutwithwideeyes.

“How’dwhatgo?”Itookoffmyjacketanddoggedhim.
“Dinner.DidZekesayanything?”
“Of course he did,” I snapped. “You think we just sat there quietly all night?” My brother was

beingweirderthannormalrightnow.

“Well,whatdidyouguystalkabout?”
“Stuff.”Likenoneofyourbusiness.
“Whatstuff?”heasked.“Work?Thebowlingalley?Havingfeelingsforeachother?”
“What?”Bothofmyeyebrowsrose.“Whatdidyoujustsay?”
“Runningintoeachother,”hecorrected.“WhatdidyouthinkIsaid?”
Thisconversationwasgivingmeaheadache.“I’mjustgoingtochange,andI’llbeonmyway.”
“Whereareyougoing?”
Ithrewmyclutchathim.“Stopbeingnosy.”
“Well,I’mleavingtoo.”Heheadedtothedoor.
“Wait,whereareyougoing?”Iturnedaroundandfacedhim.
“Stopbeingnosy.”Hegavemethebirdandwalkedout.

***

I took the elevator to Ryker ’s floor. The hum of the machine vibrated in my ears. The floors

changedasIascended.ItoldhimIwouldcomebyafterdinnerwithZekesohewasexpectingme.

Theelevatorcametoaslowstopbeforethedoorsopened.
Ryker stood there in his gray sweatpants. They hung low on his hips, and his washboard abs

lookedpowerful.Hisarmshungbyhissides.Hedidn’tseemintimidatingatall—withtheexception
ofhiseyes.

Hestaredatmesoharditlookedlikehewastryingtoburnme.
I didn’t step out of the elevator because I couldn’t think. My eyes were trained on him, and I

thoughtaboutthelastconversationwehad.Itwasfilthy—tosaytheleast.

Beforetheelevatordoorsclosed,Isteppedontothelandingofhisapartment.Helookeddownat

me,watchingeverymoveImade.Thenhecametome,bothofhishandsimmediatelydigginginto
my hair like he’d been thinking about it all day. He brushed his lips past mine in a teasing way. “I
missedyou.”

“Imissedyou.”Myeyeswerelidded,andthepassionwasguidingmeforward.
“Ready for our second date?” He hooked his arm around my ass then lifted me against him

withoutexertinganyeffort.

Mylegsimmediatelywrappedaroundhiswaist,andmyarmshookedaroundhisneck.“Itbetter

beromantic.”

“You’lldefinitelygetromance,sweetheart.”Hecarriedmeintothehallway.
“Andtherebetterbeameal.”
“I’llorderapizzalater.”

“Andtherebetterbesomedeepconversations.”
“I’lltalkdirtytoyou.”Heenteredhisbedroomandlaidmeonthebed.Heslippedoffmyshoes

beforehemovedtomyjeans.Heunbuttonedthemandslowlypulledthemdownmylegs.

Iheldmyselfupbythebackofmyelbows,watchingthelookinhiseyesasheundressedme.
Helookedmeintheeyeashegrabbedtheedgeofhissweatpantsandpulledthemoff.Hedidn’t

haveanyboxersunderneath.Itwasallhim.Andhewasdefinitelyhappytoseeme.

Iwhistledinaflirtatiousway.
Thesameintensitywasinhiseyesbuthesmiledfaintly.Heleanedovermethenpressedhisface

closetomine.

Thesecondwewereincontact,myheartspedup.Hesetmybodyonfire,andIburnedfromthe

insideout.

Hegavemeagentleandslowkiss,feelingmylipspurposely.Itwastimelessanddidn’tseemto

goanywhere,butitwaspleasurable.Mythighstightenedautomatically,andmyminddriftedinastate
betweendreamandreality.

Hekissedmyneckbeforehegrabbedthebackofmyshirtandslowlypulleditovermyhead.My

hairwentwithit,butthenreturnedtocascadingaroundmyshoulders.Rykerwatcheditfallbeforehe
begankissingthehollowofmythroat.QuickerthanIcouldprocess,heunclaspedmybraandpulled
itdownmyarms.

Hislipsmovedtomychest,andhekissedthearea,devouringme.Eachnipplemadeitintohis

mouththenhelickedthevalleybetweenmybreasts.“Ican’tdecidewhatIlikemore.Thesetits.Your
prettymouth.Orthatsweetpussy.”Hewrappedhisarmaroundmywaistandguidedmeupthebed
untilmyheadrestedonapillow.

Iranmyfingersthroughhishairandlookedintohiseyes.“Can’titbeatie?”
“Isuppose.”Hekissedme,suckingmybottomlipbeforeheopenedhisnightstand.
Igrabbedhisshouldersandmovedhimtohisback,thecondominhishand.“Wait.”
Hedroppedthecondomonthebedthenmovedhispalmunderneathhishead.Hisfingersmoved

throughmyhair,tuckingthestrandsbehindmyear.“Justdon’tmakemewaittoolong.”

I moved on top of him and kissed his body the way he kissed mine. My lips tasted his large

shoulders,feelingthehotskinburnmymouth.Ilickedtheskin,tastingit.

Itraveleddowntohischestandexploredhisbody.Iwantedtofeeleveryinchofhim,toknow

himinsuchaprofoundwaythatIcouldrememberthismomenttwentyyearsfromnow.

Ryker was quiet but his breathing increased. His hand moved down my back, and he watched

everythingIdid.

I moved to his stomach and kissed the area, feeling his muscles underneath the skin. I kept

travelingdown,followinghishappytrailwithmymouth.ThenImovedtohiscockwhereitlayon
hisstomach.

HebreathedharderwhenIgotthere.Insteadofjustfeelingmyhair,hefisteditviolently.
Istartedathisballs,lickingthesensitivearea.
Hehadn’tbeenexpectingthatbecausehereleasedaninvoluntarymoan.
Isuckedtheskinintomymouth,makingsuremytonguegoteveryinchofit.ThenImovedup

thebase,givinghisdickalongstrokeofmytongue.

HewatchedeverythingIdid,hiseyesdark.
Ikissedthetipandfeltthegroovesofhisheadwithmytongue.Itookmytimetheresinceitwas

themostsensitivepart.OnceIlavisheditwithmykisses,Islowlymoveddownhislength,takingall
ofitintomymouth.

Hemoanedloudlyandyankedonmyhair.
I moved up and down his length, going as slow as possible. I didn’t want him to come. I just

wantedhimtoenjoyit,toseemeworshiphiscockwithmymouth.Healwaysdidsomanyamazing
thingswithhismouth,andIwantedtodothesameforhim.

WhenIwasfinished,Ipulledhislengthoutofmymouthandslowlycrawleduphisbody.
Hestaredatmewithbrighteyes.“So?”
“Thechilidogwasbetter.”
Hesmileddespitetheintensityinhiseyes.“You’reoneofakind,sweetheart.”
Ipressedmylipsagainsthisandgavehimaslowkiss,myeyesopen.Hisweretoo,andhestared

atmewithoutblinking.

Hegrabbedthefoilpacketandrippeditopenbeforehemeticulouslyrolleditonhisbase.Then

hemovedhimselfagainsttheheadboard,sittingup.“Iwantyouontop,sweetheart.”

Istraddledhishipsandgrippedhisshoulders.“Someone’slazy…”
“Iwanttoseethosetitsshakeinmyface.”Hepointedhisdickatmyentrancethenpulledmyhips

down,slowlyinsertinghimselfuntilhewascompletelyinside.

“Ohgod…”HowdidIforgethowgoodhefelt?
“Sotight.”Hishandsgrippedmyhips,andheguidedmeupanddown.
Thefullnesswasjustright.Iwasstretchedtothebreakingpoint.Itwasalittlepainful,butthat

madeitfeelevenbetter.“Ryker…”

“Mmm…Ilikeitwhenyoudothat.”Hethrusthishipsfrombelow.
Together,wemoved.Iusedhisshouldersasananchortoliftmyselfupanddown.Heworkedme

frombelow,andtheproductofbothwasthemostamazingsex.Helookedmeintheeye,watchingmy
everyreactiontohim.Hisfacedarkenedinlust,andthesweatmarkedhischest.

Ididn’tknowifitwasmypowerfulattractiontohim,orthefacthisdickwasaformidablesize,

butIwasabouttocome—hard.WithRyker,Iwasalwaysreadytoblowinamatterofseconds.“I’m
gonnacome…”MybehaviorwasuncontrollableduringsexbecauseIcouldn’tthinkclearly.Mymind
wassomewhereelse,andmycarnalaspectswereincharge.

Hegrabbedthebackofmyneckandgavemeakisswithhistongue.Heswirleditwithminein

mymouth,andthatwaslikelitdynamite.Myentirecoretightened,andawaveofheatwashedover
me.

“Comeonmydick.”
IwrappedmyarmsaroundhisneckandrestedmyheadagainsthisasIfelttheexplosion.Irode

him harder because I wanted everything he could give me. My moans turned to screams, and my
entirebodyrippedithalfbecauseitfeltsodamngood.

Ryker watched me, a quiet moan escaping his lips. “So beautiful.” He kissed the corner of my

mouthbeforehemovedharderunderneathme,givingittomeasfastashecould.Whenhereached
histhreshold,hetensedunderneathmeanddughisfingersintotheskinofmyhips.Amoanescaped
fromhisthroat,andheburiedhisfaceinmychest,squeezingmetightlyashedepletedhimself.

Irestedmyheadonhis,stillcatchingmybreath.
Rykerdidn’tmovefornearlyaminute.Herecoveredfromthepleasurewebothfeltbeforehe

gaveanysignoflife.Hiscocksoftenedandbecamesemi-hard.Hegentlypulledhimselfoutofme
andImovedfromhislap.Nowthatthefunwasover,Iwasexhausted.

Rykerdisposedofthecondomandcleanedupbeforehecamebacktobed.
I knew I should go home, but I was tired. It took me almost a full minute before I found the

strengthtogetupandgathermyclothes.

“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Goinghome.”IpulledmypantiesonbeforeIgrabbedmybra.
Hegaveanirritatedlook.“AmIapitstopnow?”
“No.Ijustdidn’twanttobepresumptuous.”

“Well,youshouldstart.”Hegrabbedmyhandandyankedmebacktobed.“Andgetridofthese.”

Heyankedmyunderwearoffmylegsandtossedthemonthefloor.

“Thisisasleepover?”
“Yeah.We’llhavepizza,apillowfightinourunderwear,andwe’lltalk.”
“Thatsoundsprettyfun.”
“WhatcanIsay?”hesaid.“I’maprettyfunguy.”Hekissedmyshoulderbeforehepulledmeto

hischestandhookedhisarmaroundmywaist.

“Ihavetosay,thisisthebestseconddateI’veeverbeenon.”
Hechuckledintomyear.“Metoo.”

ChapterEleven

Rex
“Openthedoor.It’sme.”
Footsteps were heard on the other side as Zeke came to the entryway. Then he answered my

knockswithanirritatedlookonhisface.“Ididn’ttellher.”

Iwalkedinsidewithoutbeinginvited.“Dude,I’msosorry.”
“It’snotyourfault,man.”Heshutthedoorandlockedit.Automatically,hewenttothefridgeand

grabbed two beers. He tossed one at me before he took a seat on the couch in his living room. His
housewasclosetothebay.Theneighborhoodwasquietandpeaceful.

IfeltlikeshitforZeke.“Ididn’tknowuntilyoupickedherup.Sheliterallytoldmetwoseconds

beforethat.”

“It’sreallynotabigdeal,”hesaid.“Youwouldhavetoldmesoonerifyouknew.”
Ifeltthebottleinmyhandsbutdidn’ttakeadrink.Iwasn’tsurehowtocomfortmybestfriendin

theworld.“Areyouokay?”

He stared at his beer. “Yeah. I just…feel stupid for not doing something sooner, you know? I

waitedtoolong,andsomeoneelsesnatchedherup.Ihavenooneelsetoblamebutmyself.”

“Theywon’tlastforever,”Isaid.“YouknowhowRykeris.Thiswholethingwillbeoverina

fewmonths,tops.”

“Yeah…probably.”
“Thenyoucantalktoheraboutit.”
“Maybe.”
Istillfeltbadforhim.“Youknow,youkindofdodgedabullet,ifyouaskme.Iknowyoulike

Raeandeverything,butshe’sprettyannoying.”

He chuckled then took a drink. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but that tactic isn’t

goingtowork.She’snottheleastbitannoying.”

“Ha.Youdon’tlivewithher.”
“WhenshetalkedaboutRyker,shesaidhewasdifferentwithher.”
“Shesaidthesamethingtome.”
Hepeeledthelabelofftheglass.“Andshesaidshewasreallyintohim.I’veneverheardhersay

thataboutaguybefore…”

Cometothinkofit,Ihadn’teither.
“Idon’tknow…thismightbemoreseriousthanwethought.”
“Butthatisn’tRyker.”
“AndRaeisn’tanynormalgirl.She’sspecial.He’snotstupid.Ibetherealizesjusthowmuchof

acatchsheis.”Zekestaredatthefloorashespoke.“Maybethiswilllastawhile.”

Ihopeditdidn’t.“Youneverknow.”
Zekeshookhishead.“I’vehadalongtimetotellherhowIfelt,butIwastoomuchofapussy.I

thinkI’vemissedmychanceforgood.”

“Don’tsaythat…”
“I’vegottomoveon.Thereareotherfishinthesea.”
“Tons.”
“Shecan’tbetheonlycoolgirl.”
“Imeetawesomechicksonadailybasis,man.”Ipattedhimontheshoulder.“Or…youcouldjust

tellherhowyoufeelanyway.Imean,they’veonlybeenseeingeachotherforashorttime.”

Zekedidn’tevenconsiderit.“Iwouldneverdothattoher.”
“It’snotliketheyloveeachother.”
“Even so…it would be wrong. It’ll just mess with her head and make things awkward between

Rykerandme.”

“Liketheyaren’talready…”
“AndifRaereallylikeshim,I’dbeatotaldickformessingthatup.MaybeRykerwillrisetothe

challengeandbethemanshedeserves.”

“Maybe…”
“Wereallyhaven’tgivenhimachance.IknowyouandImessaroundalot,andhaveneverbeen

boyfriendmaterial,butifIfoundtherightgirl,youknowI’dbeloyaltoher.AndIknowyouwould
bethesameway.”

Inoddedinagreement.
“So,I’llhavetoletitgo.”
“Doyoureallythinkyoucandothat?”Couldyougetoversomeoneyousawonadailybasis?
“I’msureI’llstopthinkingaboutherafterIsleeparoundforawhile.”
“Sexcuresallillnesses.”
He chuckled. “I hope you’re right.” He leaned back in the chair and sighed. “So, anything new

withyou?”

MythingwithKaydencamebacktomind.“Yeah…somethingweirdhappenedwithKayden.”
“What?”
“AnytimeI’maroundher,justherandme,she’salwaysweird.”
“Weird?”heasked.“I’venevernoticed.”
“Well,it’sonlywhenwe’realonetogether.She’squietandskittish.It’ssuperawkwardtheentire

time. I saw her at the library and tried talking to her, but it was nails down a chalkboard the entire
time.So,Iaskedhertohangoutsoshewouldrelaxaroundme.”

“Andhow’dthatgo?”
Istillwasn’tsurewhatthehellhappened.“Everythingwasgreat.Wewereatabarhavingafew

drinks.Wewerelaughingandhavingagoodtime.Thatawkwardnesswasfinallygoneandeverything
feltnormal.Whenshewenttothebathroom,thesetwogirlsgavemetheirnumbers.”

“Theyjustwalkeduptoyouandhandedthemover?”
“Yep.”Prettymuch.
Zekelookedincredulousbuthestoppedtheinterrogation.“Thenwhathappened?”
“Kaydencamebackfromthebathroomandthenflippedoutonme.Shesaidshehadsomewhere

tobeandjusttookoff.”

“What?”Zekeaskedinsurprise.
“Yeah,itwasatotal180.”
“Thenwhathappened?”
“Iwentafterherandchasedherdownonthesidewalk.WhenIcaughtuptoher,shewascrying.

Crying.”Iraisedbothofmyarmsinsurprise.“Ihavenofuckingideawhathappened.Shetoldmeto
leaveheralonethentookoff.”

Zekehadablanklookonhisface.“Noneofthisismakinganysense.”
“You’retellingme.”
“Youmustbemissingsomething.Didyousaysomethingtoher?”
“Dude,Iwasnothinglessthanpolitetohertheentirenight.”
“Butmaybeyouslippedupandsaidsomething.Think.”
“I really didn’t,” I argued. “I even paid for her drinks. I was going to take her to dinner even

thoughI’mbroke.”

“Didthephonenumbersbotherher?”
Ishrugged.“Whywouldthey?”
“Maybe she was pissed you were chasing tail when you should have been paying attention to

her.”

Thatdidn’taddup.“No.Kaydenisn’tlikethat.She’snotahigh-maintenancefriend.”
Zekefellquietashetriedtofigureitout.
“Comeon,you’readoctor.Usethatbig-assbrainofyours.”
Zekerolledhiseyesandtookadrinkofhisbeer.“Maybeshegotabadcallwhenshewasinthe

bathroom.Maybeeverythingthathappenedreallydidhavenothingtodowithyou.”

I’dliketobelievethat.“Itwasjustsosudden.Andifsomethingdidcomeup,wouldn’tshehave

toldme?”

“Maybeitwaspersonal…”
“Eventhen,noneofuskeepssecretsfromeachother.”
“Everyonehasskeletonsandsecrets,”Zekesaid.“Evenifyoudon’t.”
“So,youthinkIshouldworryaboutit?”
“Nah,”hesaid.“There’snothingyoucouldhavepossiblydonetoelicitthatreactionfromher.

Theremustbesomethingelsegoingon.”

“Yeah.”
“So…yousaidyougottwonumbers?”
“Why?”
Hesmiled.“Areyoureallygoingtohookupwithbothofthem?”
Ichuckled.“Youwantone?”
“Whynot?”hesaid.“Maybewecantag-teamthemifthey’redownforit.”
“Well,theydidwalkrightuptomeandaskmeout,”Isaid.“There’sagoodchancethey’reinto

kinkystuff.”

“Perfect,”hesaid.“Let’ssetsomethingup.”

ChapterTwelve

Rae
MyeyesflutteredopenandItookinahandsomeface.Hisgreeneyesburnedbytheirownlight,

andthehaironhisfacelookedkissable.Irememberedeverythingwedidlastnightandfeltmytoes
curl.

“Doyoualwayssleeplikethis?”
“Likewhat?”Iaskedwitharaspyvoice.
“Fortwelvehoursstraight.”
“Well,it’sSunday.Isleepinontheweekends.”
“Man,you’relazy.”Hislipswereonme,kissingmyneckandshoulder.
“Whatdoyoucare?”
“Mydickcaresalot.I’vebeenpatientlywaitingforyoutowakeupsoIcouldgetsomeaction.”
“Youcouldhavestartedwithoutme…”
“Likethatwouldn’thavebeencreepy.”Hekeptkissingme,lavishingmewithkisses.
Isatupandpulledthehairoutofmyface.“I’mhungry.”
Hepressedhisfaceclosetomine,thedesperationinhiseyes.“Itcanwait.”
“Youdidn’tgetmepizzalastnightlikeyoupromised.”
“Sorry…Igotcaughtupinotherthings.”Hepushedmebackdowntothebedandmovedontop

ofme.

“Ryker,Ihavetopee.”Iputmyhandonhischest.“AndIneedfood.”
Hekeptmybodypinnedtothemattress.“AndIneedyou.”
Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhisneck.“GivemewhatIneed,andI’llmakeitworthyourwhile.”
“Hmm…”Hestaredintomyfacewithaclenchedjaw.
“Isthishowyoutreatallyourwomen?Starvethemanddeprivethemoftheirbodilyneeds?”
“JusttheonesIreallylike.”
Ipushedhimoffthengrabbedmyclothes.
“Whatdoyouneedthosefor?”
“Ineedtosearchforfood.”
“Ihaveakitchen.Icanmakeyousomething.”
“Cookingissuchapain,”Isaid.“Whydon’twegotoWaffleHut?It’srightacrossthestreet.”
“Becausewecan’tbenaked.”
“Well,wecan’tbenakedallthetime.”
“Sayswho?”hechallenged.
I pulled my clothes on then fixed my hair. “Well, I’m getting a waffle drowning in a pool of

syrup.”

Hestayedinbedandwatchedmegetready.Thenhefinallygotupandthrewonapairofjeans

andat-shirt.“Youwin,sweetheart.”

“Actually,mystomachwins.Andjustaheads-up,italwayswins.”

***

Hesatacrossfrommeanddrankhisblackcoffee.Aplateofeggwhiteswasinfrontofhim.
“That’sallyou’reeating?”Igotacombo,whichhadeggs,bacon,pancakes,andhashbrowns.
“Yeah.”Hetookafewbites.
“I’msurprisedthatkeepsyoufull.”
“It’spureproteinsoit’senough.”
“Oh.”Ikepteating,gratefulIwasn’teatingpureprotein.“Doyouwantabite?”
“I’mokay,”hesaid.“It’smuchsexierwatchingyoueatallofthat.”Atwinklewasinhiseyes.
“I’llbeworkingthisoffatthegymtomorrow,sodon’tjudgeme.”

“Notjudgmentatall.”
IateeverysinglebitebecauseIwassohungry.WhenIhaddinnerwithZekethenightbefore,I

hardlytoucheditbecauseweweretalkingsomuch.Bythetimethewaitercametoretrievetheplates,
Iwasinthemiddleofaconversationanddidn’trealizehetookmyfooduntilitwasgone.Basically,I
hadn’teatenintwenty-fourhours.

Ryker was a slow eater. He switched from sipping coffee to eating a few bites of his meal. He

wasquiet,staringatmemostofthetime.“Safariwascoolwithyoustayingwithme?”

“He’sjealous.”
“Poorguy.”
“I’ll make it up to him when I get home. Maybe take him on a walk or something.” I finished

eatingandfeltmystomachextendwithallthefoodIshoveledinsideit.“Man,Iwasstarving.”

“Skippedafewmeals?”
“Ihadn’teatenanythingsincelunchyesterday.”
Hiseyesdarkened.“IthoughtyouhaddinnerwithZeke.”
“Ididbutwedidn’tdomucheating.”
Nowhelookedpsycho.
Irealizedhowthatsounded.“Imean,weweretalkingalot,soIdidn’tgetachancetoeatallof

mymeal.”

Thesmokecleared.“Whatwereyouguystalkingaboutinsomuchdetail?”
“Well,ItoldhimIwasseeingyou.”
“And?”
“Andwhat?”
“Whatdidhesaytothat?”Rykerabandonedhiscoffeeandfoodaltogether,focusinghisattention

directlyonme.

“Nothing,really.”Whatwashesupposedtosay?“Itoldhimthatit’dbeenkindofgoingonfora

fewweeks,andhedidn’tseemsurprised.Hewarnedmeyouwereabitofaplayer,buthealsosaidI
couldhandlemyself.”Theconversationwasprettyordinary.

Henoddedslightly,likehewassatisfiedwiththatresponse.
“ZekeandItelleachothereverything.Iknowaboutallofhislovers,andheknowsaboutmine.It

wasnicetofinallygetitoffmychest.”

“Doyougointodetailaboutit?”
“Usually.”
“Hmm…”
“What?”
“Idon’thaveagirlfriendlikethat.Idon’ttellanyoneaboutmypersonallife.”
“Really?”Thatsoundedterrible.“That’ssosad.”
“Sad?”heasked.“Why?”
“You don’t share your life with someone else? Tell them about the people in your life? How

thingsaregoing?”

“Well,Ihavefriends,”hesaid.“Ijustdon’ttellthemwhatIdointheprivacyofmybedroom.Let

aloneawoman.”

“Ilikeit,”Isaid.“Ilikebeingthatclosetosomeone.”
Herestedhiselbowsonthetable.“I’massumingRexknows?”
“Yeah.”
“Didheshitarainbow?”
“No.”Iwasn’tsureifIshouldtellhimeverythingRexsaid.Itmightputhimoffabit.
Rykerreaditinmyeyes.“Hewasn’thappy,huh?”

“Uh…Iwouldn’tsaythat.”
“Hewaspissed?”
“No…hejustsaidIshouldbecareful.Helikesyouasafriendandaperson.Hesaysyou’reloyal

andfuntobearound.Buthesaidyouweren’texactlythekindofguyhewantswithhissister.Hetold
meyouwerebadnewsandIshouldn’ttreadintothiswithignorance.”

“That’snotsobad.”
“Itoldthemyouweredifferentwithme.”Iwatchedhisfaceforareaction.Iwantedtoseethe

agreementthere,toknowIwasright.

Heanswered.“Iam.”
That’sallIwanted.
Thetabarrived,andRykerquicklyshovedcashinside.
“Let’ssplitit.”
“No.”HesnatchedthetabawayandplaceditontheothersideofthetablesoIcouldn’treachit.
“Why?”
“You’remydate.Ipayforyou.”
“Youthinkthisisadate?”WewereatacheapdineronaSundaymorning.Ihadn’tshoweredand

my makeup was gone. My hair was all over the place and it refused to be tamed. This was a weird
formoftheinfamouswalkofshame.

“Kinda.”
I didn’t argue because it wouldn’t get me anywhere. I quickly learned that Ryker was a bit

stubborn.Weleftthedinerthenwalkedoutside.Insteadofcrossingthestreettohisapartment,Istayed
onthepavement.

Hestoppedandlookedatme,unsurewhatIwasdoing.
“Well,Ishouldheadhome.Lastnightwasfun.”
His eyes became hooded. He regarded me with obvious confusion. “What makes you think

you’regoinganywhere?”

“Well,it’sSunday.Myfriendsusuallycomeoverandwewatchfootball,makelunch,andplay

boardgames.”

“EverySunday?”heaskedincredulously.
“Prettymuch.”
Heputhishandsinhispockets.
“You’rewelcometocomeifyouwant—”
“I’dloveto.”Hegrabbedmyhandandpulledmeacrossthestreetwithhim.“Justletmeshower

andwe’llgo.”

“Okay.”
Weenteredhisapartment,butRykerdidn’theadfortheshower.Instead,hegrabbedmyfaceand

kissedme.Heguidedmeintothebedroom,hisentirebodyconsumingmine.

Thesecondhetouchedme,Imelted.Ilovedthosekisses.NowthatIwasfullandhadanempty

bladder,Iwasreadytogo.Myfingersdugintohishair,andIbreathedintohismouth,lostinhim.

Weundressedthenmovedbacktothebed.Rykerpositionedmeonmyhandsandkneesandcame

upbehindme.Hekissedmyspinefrommyasstothebackofmyneck.“I’vewantedtotakeyoulike
this since the moment I saw you.” He grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked my head back slightly,
exposing my mouth to him. Then he kissed me hard before he grabbed a condom from his drawer
androllediton.

Heenteredmequickly,stretchingmeatthesametime.Lasttimehewasgentle,butnowhejust

wantedme.Ilovedthefullnessandthewayhischestfeltagainstmyback.Hekissedmyshoulderas
he moved inside me. Then he pressed his face against my cheek, breathing hard. Like two wild

animals,wemovedtogetherandgaveintothecarnalpassionofdesire.

“Beautiful.”Hehookedonearmacrossmychestandgrippedmyshoulder,holdingontomeas

herockedintome.“Lookatme.”

I looked over my shoulder and watched him slam into me with everything he had. He stopped

thrustingforamomentandgavemeaslowkissthatbeliedtheintensityoftherendezvous.Itwassoft
andfullofaffection.Histonguemovedwithmine,givingmeintimacyonanewlevel.Hebrushedhis
noseagainstminebeforehepulledawayandreturnedhismotioninfullforce.

***

BeforeIreachedforthedoorknobofmyapartment,Rykerpushedmeintothewallandpinned

methere.Ourfingersinterlockedastheydugintothewall.Helookeddownatme,hiseyesfocused
onmylips.“Ibettersneakinafew.”

“Soundslikeagoodidea.”
He gave me a half smile before he leaned in and kissed me gently. His lips were always

addictive,likethebestcocainetheworldhadeverseen.Itwasn’tjusthismouthbutthewayheusedit.
Hekissedmelikehe’dfallenhardanddeeplyinlove.IgaveintothatfantasyeverychanceIgot.

He pulled away reluctantly when ten minutes had come and gone. “Maybe that wasn’t the best

idea.”Hepressedagainstme,showingoffhisharddickthroughhisjeans.

“Icanhelpyougetridofit.”
He gave me that same look I always got. The fire burned in his eyes and he became an

otherworldlycreature—desperateforonething.

“I can just turn around…” I turned and gave him my ass. “And you can give it to me just like

that.”Ilookedathimovermyshoulder,bitingmybottomlip.

Hetookapainfulbreath,hisshoulderstensing.
Iwasn’tbeingserious,butitwasfuntoteasehim.ThelongerIwatchedhisfacedarken,theless

ofajokeitbecame.NowIreallydidwanttodropmypantsandfeelhimfuckmerightoutsidethe
apartment.

Hemovedclosertome,hisfacebrushingagainstmineandhishandglidingovermyass.“Ifyou

canbequiet.”

Hecalledmybluff,butnowIdidn’tthinkIshouldcallhis.
“IthinkIhearsomething.”Rex’svoicecamefrominsidetheapartment.
Rykerimmediatelysteppedbackandadjustedhisjeans.
Istraightenedupandtriedtoactnatural,likeRykerandIwerejusttalkingabouttheweatheror

theSpaceNeedle.

Rexopenedthedoor.“Whatthehellareyoudoing?”
“Talking,”Isnapped.“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Wonderingwhyquietvoicesarecomingfromoutsidemyapartment.”
“Maybetheywereghosts.”
Rexactuallybelievedinghosts,soitwasfuntoteasehim.“Okay,notfunny.”Hesteppedawayso

wecouldcomeinside.

IwalkedinsideandfeltRykergrabmyhand.
“Noneofusfeltlikecooking,soweorderedpizza,”Jessiesaidfromherseatatthetable.
“She’sfullofit,”Kaydensaid.“Noneofusknowhowtocook.”
IrolledmyeyesandturnedtoRyker.“Wouldyoulikeabeer?”
“Sure.Whateveryougot.”
Iopenedthefridgeandhandedhimabottle.Igrabbedoneformyself.Itwassurprisinglynormal

consideringeveryonewarnedmeRykerwasbadnews.Butitfeltlikenothinghadchanged.

Jessiewavedmeover.“Guesswhocameinyesterday?”

“Who?”IwenttotheareabetweenJessieandKayden.
“That one cunt I told you about,” Jessie said. “She actually tried to make another appointment

withme.”

“Didyoutakeher?”
“Uh,no.”Jessierolledhereyes.“Shedidn’tappreciatenicehairwhenshehadit.Thatshiphas

sailed.”

Rex’svoicecameintomyear.“Youfuckwithmysister,Iwillfuckingdestroyyou…”
The second I turned my back, Rex was at it. “Hold on, guys…” I headed into the kitchen and

foundRykercorneredbyRex.

“You’remyfriendandyou’reagoodguy,butmysisterisawholedifferentballgame.Donot

fuckwithher.Imeanit—”

“Hey,what’sgoingonoverhere?”Ijoinedthemandtriedtoactcasual.
RykerhadthegracetocoverforRex.“Weweretalkingaboutthegameandplacingbets.”
Rexraisedaneyebrowinsurprise.
“Ohcool,”Isaid.“Who’syourmoneyon?”
“TheSteelers,”Rykersaid.“AndIhaveafeelingRexisgoingtolosewhatlittlemoneyhehas.”
“We’llsee.”RexwalkedintothelivingroomandjoinedZekeonthecouch.
Embarrassed,Isighed.“I’msosorry—”
“It’sfine,”hesaidquickly.“Itdoesn’tbotherme.He’sjustlookingoutforyou.NowthatIknow

whathappenedwhenyouwereyoung,Itotallygetit.Hemeanswell.”

“You’rereallygoingtobackhimup?”Rexjustcameoverhereandthreatenedtodestroyhim.
“I’ddothesameifIhadasister.”
ItwasthenIrealizedIdidn’tknowanythingaboutRyker.Ididn’tknowwherehegrewup,ifhe

hadanysiblings,whyhewasthewayhewas…wedidn’ttalkaboutanything.Actually,allwedidwas
screw.“Evenso…”
“Look,we’vegottenpasttheinitialstageofusseeingeachother.Nowit’ssmoothsailingfromhere
onout.AndItoldhimthiswasn’tahit-it-and-quit-ittypeofthing.Ifthatwerethecase,wewouldn’tbe
seeingeachotherrightnow.Heknowsthat.”

“I’mstillmortified…”
He rested his fingers under my chin and lifted my gaze toward him. He looked down into my

face,amusementinhiseyes.“Youthinkaguylikehimcouldgetundermyskin?”

“Probablynot.”
“Nope.”Hegavemeagentlekissbeforehewalkedintothelivingroom.
Mylipsfeltnumbthesecondhismouthwasgone.Iturnedandlookedatmyfriends.Theywere

bothmakingstupidfacesandgrinninglikeidiots.

Butthenagain,Iwasdoingtheexactsamething.

***

Safariwasbymysidetheentireafternoon,notwantingtobeapartfrommeanytimesoon.He

likedRyker,eventhoughhewasthereasonIwasgonemostofthetime.

At the end of the evening, everyone left. They all had work in the morning. There were pizza

boxesscatteredeverywhere,butIdidn’tfeellikecleaningup.

AndRexnevercleanedup.
Rykerstayedbymysidefortheentireevening.Threeemptybottlesofbeerwereonthetable,his

onlyrefuse.“So,canIstayovertonight?”

SinceIsleptwithhimlastnight,Ididn’tthinkhewantedtodoaback-to-back.“Youwantto?”
“WhyareyoualwayssurprisedwhenIsaythingslikethat?”
“BecauseI’msurprised,”Isaidlikeasmartass.

“YouthinkIwanttosleepaloneafterlastnight?”heasked.“Andthismorning?”
“It’sjust…”IeyedSafaribesideme.Hisheadwasrestinginmylap,andhelookedupatmewith

hispuppydogeyes.“Therewon’tbemuchroomforyou.”

“Can’tSafarisleepontheground?”
“Hecanbuthewon’t.Besides,it’shisbed.”
Rykerseemedmoreamusedthanirritated.“Howabouthesleepsatthefootofthebed?”
“IthinkIcangethimtodothat.”
“Thenthatworksforme.”
“Ihavetowarnyou,mybedisn’tnearlyasniceasyours.”
“That’sfine,”hesaid.“Icaremoreaboutthewomaninthebedanyway.”
“Butwebothhaveworktomorrow.”Maybeheforgot.
“Icanbeattheofficealittlelate.Youforget,Iowntheplace.”
“Justbecauseyouownitdoesn’tmeanyoucanslackoff.”
“Actually,itdoes.”Hesmiledinanarrogantway.
“SinceI’msleepingwithmyboss,doIgetspecialprivileges?”
“Actually,yes.”Heleanedclosertomeandloweredhisvoice.“Youcancomeintomyofficeand

givemeheadwheneveryouwant.”

Ismackedhimplayfullyinthearm.“I’mneverskippingoutonworktodothat.”
“Youcangivemealapdance.”
“I’mnotdoingthateither.”
“Icanbendyouoveronmydesk—”
“I’mnotdoingit.”
Hegavemeacutepoutthenkissedthecornerofmymouth.“What’sthepointinscrewingthe

CEOifyoudon’tgetanythingoutofit?”

I didn’t want anything out of it. The first time we met, I had no idea who he was, and it didn’t

mattertomeeither.Iwasstilldrawntohiminanunbreakableaway.“You.Igetyououtofit.”

***

“Areyousureyouwanttodothis?”Itriednottolaugh.Rykerlaybesidemeinmyqueen-size

bed,Safaricoveringbothofourbodieswithhisheavytorsoandlegs.

Rykerkeptmoving,tryingtogetcomfortable.“Ialwayslikeachallenge.”
“Achallengetosleep?”
“Just in general.” He moved again, trying to snuggle with me. He hooked his arm around my

waistbuthadtoslideunderSafari’slifelessbody.“Damn,he’sheavy.”

“Heloveshistreats.”
“I’ll say…” Ryker finally got comfortable, his head resting on my pillow. He looked into my

eyes,asleepylookonhisface.“Whatmadeyougetadog?Livinginanapartment…”

“Hewasastray.Hekeptwalkingintothestreetwherethecarswereswervingaroundhim.Itwas

onlyamatteroftimebeforehegothit.SoIpulledoverandrealizedhedidn’thaveatagorachip.
Thosemochaeyesweresocute,andItotallyfellinlove.So,Itookhimhome.”

Hiseyesheldasmile.“Thatwasniceofyou.”
“Iusedtobeastrayuntilsomeonetookmein.”IwaslostwhenMompassedaway.Ididalotof

stupidthings,hungoutwiththewrongcrowdandstarteddrinkingbeforeIwasevensixteenyearsold.
Isnuckaroundwithbadboys,notthegood-heartedsexyones,andRexhadalotofshithehadtodeal
withthatnevershouldhavebeenhisresponsibility.Ifhehadn’tsetmestraight,Iwouldn’thavegone
tocollegeandgottenmylifebackontrack.Iowedmybrotheralot.

Ryker ’s eyes fell in sadness. His fingers brushed my cheek and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Youcan’tbeastraywhenyou’relovedbysomanypeople.”Hekissedtheskinjusttotherightofmy

nose.

RykerwasmuchsweeterthanIexpectedhimtobe.Heseemedstiffandseriousallthetime,but

sometimes, that attitude fell and revealed the true man underneath. “You haven’t heard from your
father?”

MydadranoutonusafterIwasborn.Apparently,hecouldn’thandletwokidsandadepressed

partner.“Hecamebackwhenmymompassedaway.”

“Hedid?”
“HetriedstartingarelationshipwithRexandme,butwebothwantednothingtodowithhim.We

were fine on our own. Then Rex threatened to kill him if he kept bothering us. I haven’t seen him
since.”

“Doyouthinkhisgesturewassincere?”
“No.”Notevenalittlebit.“Ithinkitwasjustawkwardforhimtoseeusandhedidn’tknowwhat

elsetosay.Hepitiedus.I’mprettysurehehasafamilysomewhereelse.”

“Why?”
Ishrugged.“It’sahunch.”
“Well, I don’t think you or Rex need him anyway. You’ve both become exceptional people on

yourown.”

“Thanks.”
Hekissedmyneckthentheshellofmyear.
Iclosedmyeyes,myhandrestingagainsthischest.Icouldfeelhisheartbeatthroughtheskin.It

comfortedme,listeningtothecadence.

Rykershiftedhisbodyslightlyandsighed.“Howdoyousleeplikethiseverynight?”
Ismiled.“Yougetusedtoit.”

ChapterThirteen

Rex
Irolledoutofmybedandimmediatelymadecoffeeinthekitchen.Iwasn’tabigfanofwaking

upearly.Ifmybusinesseverimproved,I’dmakesureIdidn’thavetobethereuntilatleasttwo.

VoicessoundeddownthehallwayasRaeandRykerheadedtothefrontdoorwithSafariwalking

behindthem.

I told Ryker I’d break both of his legs if he fucked with my sister, and it wasn’t an idle threat.

She’d spun out of control once before, and I wasn’t going to let it happen again. She and I were a
team,andifyouhurtmycomrade,I’dhurtyoutoo.IknewIwasfartooprotectiveasabrother,butin
areallyweirdandcomplicatedway,Isawherasmyownkid.

Rykersaidhedidn’thaveanybadintentionstowardher,andthiswasn’tatypicalflinglikeallthe

others.HetoldmeIshouldexpecttoseehimalotmore.Apparently,hereallylikedher.

Hebetter.
Ipouredacupofcoffeeandtriednottostare.
“Sorrylastnightwassouncomfortable,”Raesaidwithachuckle.
“It’sokay,”Rykersaid.“IunderstandIhavetoshareyou.”
Raecrossedherarmsoverherchest,awkwardthatIwasnearby.“Well,I’llseeyoulater…”
“Yeah.”Hecuppedthebackofherneckandgaveherakiss.
Raevisiblymeltedthesecondhetouchedher.Shegrippedhisbicepslikeshedidn’twanthimto

leaveatall.

Dammit.Thiswasserious.
Hebrushedhisnoseagainsthersbeforeheopenedthedoor.“Bye,Safari.”
Hebarked.
Rykerchuckledthenwavedtomeashewalkedout.“Seeyoulater,Rex.”
“Bye,shithead.”Ikeptdrinkingmycoffee.
Helaughedatmycommentandkeptwalking.“Seeya,lameass.”
Raeshutthedoorbehindhimthengavemethestink-eye.
“What?”Iaskedinnocently.
“Whyareyoucallinghimshithead?”
“Iwasjoking.”Ipouredabowlofcereal.“That’swhatguysdo.”
“No,youweren’tjoking.Youreallyneedtoletthisgo.”
“Well,doyouneedtomakeoutrightinfrontofme?”
“It’smyapartment,Rex.Whydon’tyougosomewhereelse?”Safaricamebyherside,following

hereverywhereshewent.“Youcouldhavetakenyourcoffeeinthelivingroom.”

“That’snotwhereIhavebreakfast.”
Sherolledhereyes.“Whatever.Beachildaboutthis.”
“Iwill,thankyouverymuch.”IsatdownandwenttotownonmyLuckyCharms.
Shetoastedabagelandsmearedcreamcheeseoveritbeforeshesatacrossfromme.“Ireally

hopethisbowlingalleygetsofftheground…andyoucanmoveout.”

“Metoo.”
“Zekewassmartfornottakingyouin.”
“Hejustwantshisprivacyforallthenastyshithedoes.”
“No,hejusthatesyou,Rex.”
Ifinishedmybowlthenpouredanother.“Helovesme.”
“Whenheneedsawingman,maybe.”
Safarihoppedontheotherchairandsatatthetablelikeaperson.Hewasunusuallysmartand

wellbehaved.Iwasn’tsurehowmysistertrainedhimsowell.

Shetookafewbitesofherbagel.“Idon’twanttogotoworktoday…”
“Can’tyouuseasickday?”
“Yeah,butItrytoavoidit.IjusthavemoreworktodowhenIgetbackinthelab.It’snotworth

it.”

Ididn’tunderstandallthescientificthingsshedid,andIdidn’tbothertryingtounderstandthem.

“There’ssomethingIwanttotalktoyouabout.”

“If it has anything to do with Ryker, I’m going to scream.” She gave me the most venomous

glareofalltime.“I’msickoftalkingabouthim.”

“Actually,Iwasgoingtotalkaboutsomethingelse.Butwhilewe’reonthatsubject,Idon’tthink

youtrulyunderstandwhatyou’redealingwith.RykerandIhavebothfuckedthesamegirlatthesame
time in the locker room at school. He had her in the front, and I had her in the back. He’s had
threesomesatleasttentimes.Heeven—”

“Rex,Idon’tcareabouthispast.Ithasnothingtodowithme.”
“Uh,youshouldcarealittlebit.Youreallywanttospendtimewithaguylikethat?”
“Wouldyoucharacterizeyourselfinthesameway?”
Huh?Ididn’tunderstandthequestion.“What?”
“Areyoutwosimilar?Wouldyousayyouguysarethesameperson?”
“Uh…Iguess.”
“Well, I think you’re a great person, Rex. What you do in your private life is none of my

business, and I really don’t want to know about it, but I see the other side of you. You’re loyal,
selfless, compassionate, and so many other things. When you meet the right girl, I know you’ll be
PrinceCharming.IsitreallyfairtonotgiveRykerthesamebelief?”

Ispunmyspooninmybowl.“Iguessnot…”
“Thenletitgo.”
“Butwhatifyouaren’ttherightgirl?”
“WhetherIamornot,I’menjoyingourtimetogetherfornow.Ifitdoesn’tworkout,ohwell.

Lifegoeson.”

“Really?”Iasked.Shewouldhavealevelheadwithit?
“Yes.”Shetookafewsipsofhercoffee.“Now,whatwereyougoingtosaybeforewestarted

talkingaboutRyker…again?”

IgotdistractedbyRykerandforgot.“IhadaweirdthinghappenwithKayden.”
“Aweirdthing?”Bothofhereyebrowsrose.“Whatdoesthatmean?”
I told her the whole story, from beginning to end. “I still don’t have a clue what the hell

happened.EvenZekecouldn’tfigureitout.Whenshewasoverhereyesterday,sheignoredmeand
pretendednothinghappened.PleasetellmeyouknowsomethingIdon’t.”

Sheheldthemugonthetable,andthesteamevaporatedintotheair.Herlipswerepressedtightly

together as she considered the possibilities. “I really don’t know…maybe something happened with
herfamilyandshedidn’twanttotellyouaboutit.”

“Butwouldn’tshetellyou?”
“Not necessarily,” she said. “We tell each other a lot of things, but our entire lives aren’t on

display.”

“Well,doyouthinkyoucouldtalktoherforme?Figureitout?”
“Yeah,I’llbringitup,”shesaid.“ButIhaveafeelingithadnothingtodowithyou.Yourstory

doesn’tsuggestit,unlessyou’releavingsomethingout.”

“Itoldyouthewholething,frombeginningtoend.”
“ThenI’drelax.Forallweknow,shelostherjoborsomething.”
“How do you get fired from a library?” It wasn’t possible. They were practically volunteers

anyway.

“I’mjustsaying.”Shefinishedhercoffeethenleftitonthetable.“Well,I’vegottogetready.I’ll

seeyouafterwork.”

“Whenarethecontractorsstarting?”Iaskedasshewalkedaway.
“Notsure.I’llgivethemacalllater.”

***

Justwhenmyshiftwasfinallyover,RaeandZekewalkedinside.Theyweretalkingandsmiling

likeeverythingwasnormal.MaybeZekewastakingthisRykerthingbetterthanIgavehimcreditfor.
Iwasworriedhewouldignoreherforafewweeksuntilhegotoverit.

“What’sup?”Ihoppedoverthecounter.
“So,we’vegoteverythingweneed,”Zekesaid.“Everythingisofficiallyunderway.”
“You’llhavetoclosedowntheplaceforafewweeks,probablyamonth,”Raesaid.
“What?”Iblurted.“Ican’tclose.Iwon’tmakeanymoney.”
“Dude,youaren’tmakinganymoneynow,”Zekesaid.
“Hey.”Ipointedathim.“Thathurt.”
“I’mjustsaying,”Zekesaid.“Besides,ifyoudon’thavetopayemployeesorkeepthelightson,

allyouneedtoworryaboutistherentandinsuranceforthemonth.So,it’snotabigdeal.”

“Iguessit’llbenicetosleepin…”
“Andbehome24/7soIhavetoseeyouruglyfaceconstantly,”Raesaid.
“Maybeyoushouldgetasecondjob,”Iteased.
Zekeknewafightwasabouttobegin.“Anyway…theyaregoingtostartredoingthelanes,putin

thebar,andrepaintingthewalls.Theweatherforecastsaysit’sgoingtobesunnythisweek,sowe’re
goingtotakeadvantageofthatandaddacoatofpainttotheoutside.”

Damn,thisplacewasgoingtobeturnedupsidedown.
“But it’s going to look awesome when they’re done,” Rae said. “And we’ll take that time to

figure out our strategy. We should definitely make some crazy sales to get people to come in. You
probablywon’t break evenat first, butit’ll bring more customersin later. AndI have another idea.
Since Ryker is the biggest news around here right now, I’m going to ask him to do some kind of
bowlingchallengeforcharity.Everyreporterandnewscasterwillbeheretorecordit.”

“Andboom,”Zekesaid.“You’vegotyourselfahoppingbusiness.”
“Rykerwoulddothat?”
“Ofcoursehewould,”Raesaid.“Andnotjustforme.”
Iwastouched,andIdidn’tknowhowtoputthatintowords.Theydidn’tgetanythingoutofthis,

otherthanpossiblylosingtheirinvestments,andtheystillwantedtohelpmeout.“Thanks,guys…”

“Noproblem.”Zekeclappedmyshoulder.“We’refamily,right?”
Weweregivingthewordawholenewdefinition.“Yeah.We’refamily.”

***

We sat in the bar and downed our beers. A plate of fries was on the table but Rae ate most of

them.Zekeactedlikenothinghadchangedandhewasn’tjustabouttotellhertheyshouldbetogether.

Itwaslikeitneverhappened.
“Howwaswork?”heaskedRae.
“Good.SometimesIgetlonelybeinginthereallbymyself,butI’malsogladIdon’thavetodeal

withpeopleallthetime.”

“I’dprefermorepeaceandquiet,”Zekesaid.“ButIdon’thavethatluxury.”
“Anyinterestingpatients?”
“Ihadawomancomeinbecauseshesaidhertitswereugly.”
Istoppeddrinkingmybeer.

“What?”Raeasked,justasconfusedasIwas.
“Shesaidtheskinonherbreastswasugly.”Heshrugged.“Itdidn’tmakeanysensewhenshetold

me,anditdefinitelywon’tmakeanysensewhenItellyou.Irecommendedhertoaplasticsurgeon
becausetherewasnothingIcoulddoforher.”

“Werehertitsugly?”Iasked.
“Eh.”Zekeshrugged.“Theywerealright.”
“Butnotuglyenoughformedicalintervention?”Raeasked.
“No,notreally,”Zekesaid.“Peoplehaveuglytitsallthetime.There’sreallynothingyoucando

aboutthatunlessyouinvolveplasticsurgery.”Zekefinishedhisbeerthenmovedontothenextone.

“IhopeIdon’thaveuglytits,”Raesaid.
“Youdon’t,”Zekeblurtedautomatically.“Imean,fromwhatIcantell.”
Rae smiled and didn’t seem offended at all. “The way they look through a shirt isn’t the same

thing.”

“I’veseenyouinabikini,”Zekesaid.“Believeme,they’regood.”
Ididn’tparticipateintheirconversationbecausemysister ’sbreastsdidn’tinterestme.
“Whatkindofweirdtitshaveyouseen?”Zekerestedhiselbowsonthetableandlookedatme.
“Hmm…”I’dseenalotoftittiesinmyday.“Thecucumberkind.”
“Thecucumberkind?”Raeasked.
“Youknow.”Zekedemonstratedhowtheywouldappearwithhishands.“Thekindthatsortahang

andareskinny,especiallywhentheyleanover.”

“Yeah,”Isaid.“Thosearetheworst.”
“Ididn’trealizethatwasathing,”Raesaid.“Ijustassumedguysdidn’tlikesmalltits.”
“Small boobs are fine,” Zeke said. “I like them as much as big ones, as long as they are

proportional.”

“Yeah,smallonesaregreat,”Isaid.“Honestly,I’manassman—throughandthrough.”
“Thatmakestwoofus.”Zekeclankedhisbeeragainstmine.
“I’m a sucker for a guy’s jawline. You know, the rugged and handsome kind.” Rae’s voice

becamemorehigh-pitched,soundingmorefeminine.

ItwasironicbecauseZekehadtheexactjawlineshewasdescribing.NowthatIthoughtaboutit,

Zeke was always popular with the girls. They all liked him, and the fact he was a doctor made him
evenmoreofacatch.Raewasneverintohim?Notonce?

“LikeClintEastwood?”Zekeasked.
“Yes,exactly,”Raesaid.
Zekerubbedhischin,likeheknewhefitthebill.“Whatelse?”
“Ilikethemtall,”Raesaid.“IguessbecauseI’malittletallforawoman.”
“No,you’reperfect,”Zekesaidautomatically.
Raewastotallyoblivioustothetruemeaningofhiscompliments.NowthatIknewhowZekefelt,

Irealizedjusthowobviousitwas.Theonlywayhecouldtopitwasifheheldasignthatsaid,“Ilove
you.”

“So,how’sitgoingwithRyker?”Zekeaskedthequestionhesitantly,likehewasonlyaskingto

actnormal.

“Good,”shesaid.“Hestayedovertheothernight.He’snotabigfanofSafari.”
“Well,hebetterstart,”Zekesaid.“That’sSafari’shome.”
“Idon’tthinktheproblemiswithhim,justthefactthathecoverstheentirebedwhenwesleep.”

Raechuckledbeforeshetookanotherdrink.

“That’sSafari’sbed,”Rexsaid.“Whereelseishegonnasleep?”
“IdoubtRykerwillbestayingoveranymore,”Raesaid.“Abigdogandabigmanjustdon’tmix

together.”

I’dcometotherealizationIneededtodropmyprejudiceagainstRyker.Mysisterhadalready

madeuphermindabouthim,soIshouldjustacceptit.Ifshegothurt,shecouldn’tsayIdidn’twarn
her. Sometimes I forgot that she was an intelligent adult. She was the one taking care of me at that
verymoment.Shewaspayingallmybillsandevengivingmeanallowance.Awomanlikethatcould
clearlytakecareofherself.

“Seeinganyone?”Raeasked.
“Notseriously,”Zekesaid.“Ihookedupwiththisgirllastnight.”
HeleftoutthefactthatIwasthere,withmyownchick.
“How’dthatgo?”Raeasked.
“Thesexwasgood.ButIwon’tcallheragain.”
Shewasdefinitelyahit-it-and-quit-itkindofgirl,notoneyoubroughthometoyourparents.
“Whynot?”Raeasked.
Zekeshrugged.“I’mnotthatinterested.”
Zekedidn’thaverelationshipsveryoften.Heplayedthefieldmostofthetime,justthewayIdid.

Personally,I’dneverhadagirlfriend—ever.Ilovedmyfreedomwaytoomuch.

“Youmusthaveyourpickofthecrop,”Raesaid.“Ahandsomedoctor…”
Zekeshrugged.
“Just make sure you only settle for someone who’s amazing,” Rae said. “Because you’re

amazing.”

Hiseyessoftened.
“DidyouevertalktoKayden?”Iasked.
“No,”Raesaid.“Ihaven’thadachance.”
“Whatdoyoumean?”Isnapped.“Justcallher.”
“Ican’tcornerherlikethat.It’srude.”RaewasalotmoresensitivetopeoplethanIwas.
“Well,Ineedtoknow.”
“I’llaskhertolunchtomorrow,”Raesaid.“AndI’lltellyouwhatIfindout.ButI’msureithad

nothingtodowithyou.”

Ireallyhopeso.
RaecouldtellIwasstillconcerned.“You’reworryingovernothing,Rex.”
“I think so too,” Zeke said. “If she had a problem with you, she wouldn’t have come over on

Sunday.”

Iguessthatwastrue.

***

NowthatIwasn’tworking,Iwasboredoutofmymind.Ididn’tlikegoingtoworkandspraying

theinsideofsmellyshoeswithFebrezeandLysol,butsittingathomealldaywassomehowworse.

I watched everything on daytime television, played a few games, called up a regular to screw,

andthenIwentbacktowatchingTV.Safarikeptmecompanybuthejustlaidonmetheentiretime.

Raecameintheapartmentshortlyafterfive.
“I never thought I’d be so happy to see you.” I actually pulled her in for a hug. “Let’s do

something.Anything.Howaboutwehitthecourtsandplaysomeball?”
“Someoneneedstogetsomefriends…”

“Idohavefriendsbutthey’reallatwork.”
“Well,I’mgoingtoRyker ’sfordinner.”
ItwasatestamenttohowboredIwaswhenIspokeagain.“CanItagalong?”
“Todinnerwithus?”sheaskedincredulously.“Uh,no.”
“Please,”Isaid.“I’msoboredI’mlosingmymind.”

“Findsomethingtodo.”
“Dude,I’vedoneeverything.IwatchedTV,playedvideogames—”
“Cleanedthehouse?”Shelookedaroundatthedirtydishesinthesink,thespaghettistainonthe

tile,andthebagofpopcornsittingoutonthecounter.

“Well…that’salastresort.”
“I’mnotblowingoffmydateifyouwon’tevencleanupafteryourself.”
“Okay,okay.”Iwasreallydesperate.“I’llcleanthewholehouseifyouletmecomealong.”
Shecrossedherarmsoverherchestandlookedatmeinawholenewway.“Damn,you’rereally,

reallybored.”

“That’swhatI’vebeentryingtotellyou.”
“IguessIcancancelonhim.Itshouldn’tbeabigdeal.”
Igrinnedfromear-to-ear.
“Besides, it’ll just make him want me more.” Her eyes were full of confidence, and her lips

restedintheformofalightsmile.“Whatdoyouwanttodo?”

“Let’sgotothearcade.”
“Thatsoundslikefun.”
“Awesome.”Mysisterannoyedmelikecrazy,butshealwayscamethroughforme.
ShegrabbedherphoneandcalledRyker.“Hey,Iwaswonderingifwecouldreschedule.Canwe

goouttomorrownight?”

Ryker ’svoicecouldbeheardthroughthephone.“Why?Iseverythingalright?”
“Everything is fine. Rex is just bored from not working, and he wants me to spend time with

him.”

Rykerdidn’tholdbackhisdisappointment.“WhyamItheonewhohastosufferforhimbeinga

loser?”

“Icanhearyou,jackass,”Isaidloudly.
“Good,”Rykersnapped.“Iwashopingyoucould.”
Raerolledhereyes.“Tomorrow?”
Rykersighedintothephone.“Whydon’tyoujustbringhimwithyou?”
“Becausethatwouldn’tbefunforeitherofus.”
“Idon’tcare,”hesaid.“Ijustwanttoseeyou.”
Icouldn’tkeepmysurprisebackatthatcomment.WhoknewRykerwasaffectionate.
“Tomorrow,”shepressed.
“I’llmakeacompromisewithyou,”Rykersaid.“Youcangooutwithhim,butyousleephere

withme.”

Imadeagaggingface.
“Youhaveyourselfadeal,”Raesaid.
“Good,”hesaid.“Iexpectyouherebynine.Whatareyouguysdoinganyway?”
“We’regoingtogotothearcade.”Raewaitedonthelineforhimtosaysomething.
Hewasquietforalongtime.“Thearcade?”Thesoundoflongingwasunmistakable.“Like,the

bigonedowntown?”

“Yes.”Raesmiledbecausesheknewwherethiswasgoing.
“Well…canIcomealong?”heaskedhopefully.
“Youguysarebothfive-year-olds,”Raesaidwithasigh.
“Thearcadeisawesome,”Rykersaid.“I’llnevergrowoutofthatplace.”
Raeturnedtome.“IsitcoolifRykercomes?”
Icouldn’tsaynoevenifIwantedto.Iinterruptedtheirplanstobeginwith.“Sure.”
Raeturnedbacktothereceiver.“Canyoubehereinanhour?”

“Sweetheart,I’llbetherewheneveryouwantmetobe.”
Ishovedmyfingerdownmythroatandpretendedtogag.
Raekickedmeintheshin.“Seeyouthen.”

***

“Dude, Ms. Pac-Man is the best game ever.” I used to play it all the time as a kid. Even when

therewasnooneelsetoplaywith,itwasagreatgame.

“Definitelyaclassic,”Rykersaid.
“I’mgonnagetasoda.Myhandiscramping.”Raewasgreatatvideogames,probablybecause

sheplayedthemwithmeallthetime.

Rykerwatchedhergobeforeheturnedbacktome.“Wanttohaveamatch?”
“Depends,”Isaid.“Areyoureadytobecastrated?”
“YoursisteralreadydidthatwhenshebeatmeatMortalKombat.”
Iputthequartersinthemachineandwestartedtoplay.Webothhadourownscreensandgotall

thewhitedotsandthefruitextras.RykerwasjustasgoodasIwas,andsoonitbecametense.

Wekeptplayinguntiloneofuslostourthreelivesfirst.Thankfully,itwasRyker.
“Sucker,”Isaid.
“Youjustgotlucky.”HeglancedovermyshoulderandlookedatRae,constantlykeepingherin

hissights.

Itwouldtakemeawhiletogetusedtothefactthattheyweretogether.
“CanIaskyousomething?”
“Iguess,”Isaid.“Youjustdid.”
“IsZekegoingtobeaproblem?”
Ifrozeonthespotandforgottobreathe.“Huh?”
“IknowZekeisintoher.Ishestillafterher?”
Howdidheknowthat?HesaiditwithsuchcertaintyIcouldn’tbelieveit.TherewasnowayZeke

wouldtellhim.DidRaeknowhowZekefeltandtellRyker?Thatdidn’tseemlikelyeither.“Idon’t
knowwhereyou’regettingthatfrom,butit’snottrue.”I’dcoverformybestfrienduntiltheendof
time.

“It’sobviousinthewayhelooksather.”Hesaiditwithcompleteconfidence,liketherewasno

roomformisinterpretation.

“Well…Iguessthat’syouropinion.”
RykerignoredwhatIsaid.“Willhebeaproblemforme?”
“Zekeisn’tthetypeofguytointerfereinarelationship,ifthat’swhatyou’reworriedabout.Just

theotherday,heandItagteamedthesetwochicks.He’sthelastpersonyoushouldbeworriedabout.”

Henoddedinsatisfaction.“I’mgladtohearit.”
Istuckmyhandinmypocketandlookedformorequarters.
“You seem a lot more relaxed about Rae and me.” Ryker was different than Zeke and I. He

alludedtothingsratherthanjustcomingoutandsayingthem.

“IknewIneededtobackoff.”
“IreallyhopeyouandIcanbethefriendswewerebefore.”Hecrossedhisarmsoverhischest.

“Becauseyourfriendshipdoesmeansomethingtome.”

“Justdon’tfuckwithmysisterandnothingwillchange.”
“Thatseemsprettysimple.”
WhenIlookedovermyshoulder,Raewaseatingacorndogwhileseatedatthetable.
Rykergrinnedfromear-to-ear.“Shecanmakeanythinglooksexy.”
Icringed.“KeepitPGaroundme.Otherwise,I’llthrowupalloveryourshoes.”
“I’lltry.”InsteadofwalkingovertoRae,hestoodbyme.Therewasnootherexplanationforit

unlesshehadsomethingelsetosay.“Raetoldmeaboutyourmom…I’msorry.”

Iassumedhealreadyknew.“Thanks.”
“Shetoldmeyoutookoverasherlegalguardian.Thatmusthavebeenrough.”
“Itwasn’tawalkinthepark…”Thatwasanunderstatement.Itwasdamnhard.Raewasdifficult

tomanagebecauseshewentintoshock.Shestarteddoingcrazythings,andIhadtogofrombeinga
knuckleheadtoadadovernight.

“IwantyoutoknowIwouldneverhurtRaeonpurpose.Icareaboutherandwillalwaysrespect

herthewayshedeserves.Ican’tpromisewe’llbetogetherforeveroranythinglikethat,butIwon’t
causeheranyfurtherpain.She’sanincrediblewoman,andI’mnotoblivioustothat.”

Those words finally put me at ease. The last time we spoke about this, I got in his face and

threatenedtokillhim.HeneverhadachancetosayanythingbecauseRaecameover.Thefactthathe
saidallofthatwithsuchsinceritymademerealizehewasn’ttakingherforaridelikealltheothers.It
didn’tseemlikehelovedher,butitseemedlikehereallydidcareforher.Andthat’sallIcouldask
for.“You’reagoodguy,Ryker.”

Hesmiledthenclappedmeontheshoulder.“You’reagoodbrother,Rex.”
I cleared my throat. “Should we go over there and stop her from eating everything at the

concessionstand?”

Hechuckled.“Ithinkthat’sagoodidea.”
RykerandIjoinedRaeatthetable.Thepapertraywasemptywiththeexceptionoftheketchup

andmustard.ShesippedhersodathenhandedittoRyker.Hetookalongdrink,holdingeyecontact
withher.

Itriedtoignoreit.
“Hungry?”Rykerasked.
“Icouldn’tturndownacorndog,”Raesaid.“Ilovethosethings.”
Hesatbesideher.“Iknowyoudo,sweetheart.”
Itriedtoignorethattoo.“Weneedmorequarters.”
“Idon’thaveanymorecash,”Raesaid.
“Whatgoodareyou?”Idemanded.
“Ijustgaveyoutwentybuckstospendatthearcade,”Raeargued.“That’sgenerousenough.”
Rykerputhisarmaroundherwaist,beingmoreaffectionatewithherthanusual.Itwasprobably

becauseheknewIwasfinallycoolwitheverything.

“Bytheway,IspoketoKaydentoday,”Raesaidcasually.
“Whatdidshesay?”Iblurted.
“Shesaidshegotamessagethathergrandmotherwassick.”Raegavemeatriumphantlook.“I

toldyouithadnothingtodowithyou.”

Ibreathedasighofrelief.“Oh,thankgod.IthoughtIreallydidsomethingstupid.”
Rykerfurrowedhiseyebrows.“Whatareyouguystalkingabout?”
Itoldhimthestoryforwhatfeltlikethezillionthtime.“Atleastithadnothingtodowithme.I’d

killmyselfifImadehercry.”

Rykerhadthesamelookonhisface,likehewasstillconfused.“Ifthat’strue,whydidshecome

backfromthebathroomandtalkwithyouforalittlebit?Whydidshegetupsetafteryoushowedher
thephonenumbers?”

Ishrugged.“Idon’tknow.Maybesomethingtriggeredit.”
Hedidn’tseemconvinced.“Itsoundslikethephonenumberssetheroff.Maybeshewasjealous

youwerehittingonotherwomen.”

“Butthatdoesn’tmakeanysense.”Atall.Whywouldshecare?
“Itdoesifshehasfeelingsforyou,”Rykersaidwithconfidence.“Whyelsewouldshealwaysbe

quiet around you but normal around everyone else? Why would she storm out after you said two
beautifulwomenjusthitonyou?AmItheonlypersonwhohasconnectedthedots?”

“That’sjustnotpossible,”Isaid.“I’veknownKaydenfor…ahundredyearsnow.Shedoesn’tsee

melikethat.”

“Ordoesshe?”Rykersaid.
IturnedtoRae.“Rykerisoffhisrocker,right?”
Rae pressed her lips tightly together. “I can’t picture Kayden having a thing for my brother. It

wouldhavecomeupamillionyearsago.”

“Maybeit’sarecentdevelopment,”Rykersaid.
“Ifindthatunlikely,”Raesaid.“Shewouldhavetoldme.Andifshedidn’t,shewouldhavetold

Jessie,whowouldhavetoldme.”

“When’sthelasttimeshehadaboyfriend?”Rykerasked.
IshruggedbecauseIhadnoidea.
Raesearchedhermind.“I’mnotsure…It’sbeenawhile.”
Rykerhadatriumphantlookonhisface.“I’mtellingyou,that’sit.”
Istillwasn’tconvinced.“Nah.I’dbelievethatgrandmotherstoryoverthatanyday.”
“Metoo,”Raesaid.
“Whatever,”Rykersaid.“Iguesstimewilltell.”
Kayden didn’t see me as anything other than a friend. If she did, she would have hit on me or

something.Shewasbeautifulwithasmokingbody.Shecouldhaveanyoneshewanted.Therewasno
reasonwhyshewouldn’tjustwalkuptomeandtellmeshewantedtojumpmybonesifthat’show
shefelt.

IknewIwasright.

ChapterFourteen

Rae
I moved out of his arms before he could snatch me again. “I shouldn’t stay. I’ve got work

tomorrow.”

Ryker continued to lie on the bed, looking gloriously naked. His chest was like a slab of

concrete.IloveddiggingmynailsintothemusclewhenIrodehimlikeastallion.Hissemi-harddick
layonhisstomach,andhismuscularthighsandtonedlegsstretchedoutbeforehim.“Whatdoesthat
matter?”

“I’dhavetogetupearlyandgohome.Youknowme.Itreasuremysleep.”
“Youcouldjustbringyourstuffhere…”Herestedhishandsbehindhishead.
“Toomuchpreparation.”Ifoundmypantiesandpulledthemon.
Hesatupandleanedbackonhiselbows.“Givemeakissbeforeyougo.”
Istaredathimsuspiciously,wonderingifitwassomekindofploy.Healwayswalkedmetothe

doorsowhywouldhewantakissnow?“That’sanoddthingtosay…”

“ThatIwantakiss?”heasked.“Idon’tthinkso.Ilovekissingyourlips—bothofthem.”Hekept

thesamelookonhisface,oneofinnocence.

Somethingwasoff.Icouldfeelit.
“Fine.”Helaydownagain.“Butdon’texpectmetokissyouwhenyou’reinthemoodforit.”
Finallyconvincedtherewasn’tanyfoulplay,Icrawledoverthebedtoplantakissonhislips.I

inchedcloseruntilIwashoveringoverhim.

Helookedupatmewithaslightsmileonhislips.Thenhewentforit.
HegrabbedmyarmandtwistedmeuntilIwasonmyback.Hemovedontopofme,pinningme

downwithhisenormoussize.Hislipshoveredovermine,alongwithalookofvictoryinhiseyes.

“Damn,Iknewyouwereuptosomething.”
“Theselipsaren’tgoinganywhere.”Hegavemeaslowkissbeforehebrushedhisnoseagainst

mine.

“IhavetogetupthirtyminutesearlierjusttogettomyapartmentbeforeIshower.”
“Thendon’tgotoworktomorrow.You’llgetapaidleaveofabsence.”
Irolledmyeyes.“Thatdoesn’tsolveanything.Iwanttowork.”
“Yourpriorityshouldbepleasingyourboss.”
“Andyourpriorityisgoingtorunyourbusinessintotheground.”
Hesmiled.“Therearemoreimportantthingsinlife.”Hesettledbesidemeandpulledmeintohis

chest, locking his arms around me so I couldn’t escape. He pressed a few kisses to the back of my
neck.

“IneedtofeedSafari.”
“I’msureRex,howeverstupid,canmanage.”
“AndIdidn’ttakehimforawalktoday.”
“Youcandoittomorrow.”
“Ihavelaundrytodo.”
Hetightenedhisarmsmore.“Makealltheexcusesyouwant.Youaren’tgoinganywhere.”
Isighedandfeltmybodygiveintothefatigue.Ittookallmyenergytogetoutofbedthefirst

time.TherewasnowayIcouldmanageitasecondtime.“You’rethedevil.”

“Andyou’reanangel.”Hekissedmybareshoulderandmademyskincomealive.“You’rethe

lighttomydark.”

“Idon’tknow…I’mprettydark.”
“I’veyettoseeit.”
“Forone,I’msleepingwithmyboss.That’sprettyskanky.”

“Youdidn’tknowIwasyourboss.”
“ButIdonow.Yet,hereIam.”
Hekissedthebackofmyneck.“Ithinkit’ssexy.”
“Actually,yourdickthinksthat.”
“Believeme,wearen’tthatdifferent.Whateverhe’sthinking,I’mthinking.”Herestedhisfacein

thecrookofmyneckandpressedhishard-onintotheareabetweenmycheeks.

“It’salmostoneinthemorning,”Iwhispered.“Weshouldgetsomesleep.”
“WhysleepwhenIcanlookatyou?”Hekissedtheshellofmyear.
“You’reneversatisfied,areyou?”
“No, I’m always satisfied.” He pressed his lips to my ear. “I just love being satisfied over and

over.”Hisfingersplayedwithmyunderwearuntilhepulledthemtotheside.Thenhepressedhistip
againstmyentrance,thethickcockstretchingmewide.

ItfeltsogoodIforgotaboutgettingupearlythenextday.
HegothisheadinsideandmoanedwhenherealizedhowwetIwas.
Sometimes,IwishedIcouldhideitfromhim.
“Iknewyoudidn’twanttoleave.”Hegrippedmyhipashemovedfartherinsideme.
IgrabbedhishandandsqueezeditwhenIrealizedsomething.“Youforgotacondom.”
Hestoppedmoving,hisdickalreadyhalfwayinsideme.“You’reonthepill,aren’tyou?”
Yes.ButInevertoldhimthat.
“And we aren’t sleeping with anyone but each other.” He kissed my ear as he spoke. “No

condom.”Hestartedtomoveagain,hisbodytensinginpleasureatfeelingmebare.

Igrabbedhishipandsteadiedhim.“Whoa,holdon.”Iwantedtokeepgoing,butmyhealthwas

moreimportant.“I’mnotgoingtohaveunsafesex.”

“Itissafe.”
“HowdoIknowitis?Howmanygirlshaveyousleptwith?”
Hesighedinirritation.
“Wedon’thavetohavetheconversationifyoujustputsomethingon.”
Hestilled,likehewasabouttoopenhisdrawerandpullarubberon.“Idon’thaveanything.But

ifIgetcheckedout,canwegobareback?”

Hewaswillingtogetcheckedout?Thatsoundedliketoomuchworkforaguy.“Yes.”
“ThenI’lldoittomorrow.”Hepulledoutofmethenrolledacondomon.Whenhewasready,he

wasonmeagain,grabbingmythighandliftingitupasheinsertedhimselfinsideme.

Igrippedthesheetashestretchedmetothelimit.
Onehandsnakedaroundmyneck,andheleftitthere,keepingmeinplaceashehadme.
I’dneverbeengrabbedlikethatbefore,andIactuallylikedit.
He slammed into me like he owned me, like I was his plaything to do whatever he wanted. He

breathedhardintomyearashethrustataquickpace.

Igrippedhisforearmandjustenjoyedit.
“Saymyname,sweetheart.”
“Ryker…”
He twisted my face toward his and looked down at me with fiery eyes. Then he gave me an

aggressivekisstomatch.“Yourpussyisfuckingcrack.”

Aninvoluntarymoanescapedmylips,practicallycomingoutasascream.
“Andit’smine.”

***

I removed my lab coat and goggles before I washed my hands in the sink. My hands were

crackedanddryfromwashingthemsomuch.WheneverIwasn’tatwork,Ilatheredtheminlotion.

Otherwise,theywouldcallus.

“Clockingout?”Ryker ’svoicesoundedfrombehindme.
I couldn’t pretend to be surprised. I’d grown used to him popping up whenever my back was

turned.“Yep.”Idriedmyhandswiththepapertowelsthenretrievedmybelongingsfrommylocker.

“Hadagoodday?”
“Itwasallright,”Isaid.“IhadahardtimefocusingbecauseIwassotired.”Ishothimaglare.
Hesmiledanddidn’tshowanounceofremorse.“MaybeyoushouldhavetakenthedayofflikeI

offered.”

Ishoulderedmybagthenwalkeduptohim.“Well,I’mgoingtoheadhome.I’llseeyoulater.”
He grabbed me by the wrist so I wouldn’t go anywhere. The touch was gentle but hinted at

everything he wanted to do to me right on my table. “There’s something I want to give you.” He
pulledoutafoldedpieceofpaperandhandedittome.

Iopenedit.“Whatisit?”
“Readit.”
ItwasthelabresultsfromhisSTDpanel.Itsaidhewasclean.“Youthoughtitwasthebestideato

givethistomeatwork?”

“Jennyisgonefortheday,right?”
“Notthepoint.”Ifoldeditupandplaceditinmypurse.
“I’mcleanlikeItoldyou.”
“Goodtoknow.”
“So…let’sgotomyplace.”
“Rightnow?”Iaskedincredulously.
“Yep.”
“I’m going to head home. I haven’t spent time with Safari, and I’m sure Rex has trashed the

housebynow.”

Rykergavemealookofmurder.
“Maybeyou’reusedtogirlsdoingwhateveryousay,butI’mnotoneofthosegirls.”
“I’venoticed,”hesaiddarkly.
“I’llseeyoulater.”
“Like,latertoday?”hepressed.
“Idon’tknow,”Isaid.“Whenever.”
Hegrabbedmebythewristagain.“Packyourthingsandstaywithmetonight.Thisisnotupfor

discussion.”

I’dalwayshadahardtimetakingorders—always.“Excuseme?”Maybeothergirlslikedbeing

bossedaroundbyabeautifulman,butIdidn’t.“Ryker,I’llseeyouwheneverIseeyou.Ihaveother
peopleinmylifebesidesyou.”ItwistedfromhisgraspjustthewayRextaughtme.

Ryker knew he crossed a line with me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so…forceful. I’m not

myself.”

HeseemedsinceresoIletitgo.“It’sokay.”
“Ijust…”Rykerneverstruggledtogethiswordsout.Hewasusuallyeloquentandquickonhis

feet.“Nevermind.”

“MaybeI’llseeyoutomorrow.”
Disappointmentwasonhisface,buthedidn’tmakeafurtherargument.“Okay.”
Isteppedaroundhimtothedoor.
Rykergrabbedmeagain.“Nokissgoodbye?”
“Notwhenwe’reatwork.”Ipulledawayandkeptwalking.
“Thenyoubettermakeupforitlater.”Hisplayfulsmilehadreturned.

TheRykerI’dfallenforwasback.“Tentimesover.”

***

The second I walked in the door, he was all over me. His hands were in my hair and his lips

suffocatedmine.Hisdickwashardlikehe’dbeenthinkingaboutmebeforeIevenwalkedinside.

Hepickedmeupandcarriedmetohisbedroom,hislipsrunningdownmyneck.
I’dneverfeltsexierwithanotherman.Rykermademefeelspecial,likeIdrovehimwildwith

desire.Andhediditwithouttheuseofwords.

ThesecondIwasonthebed,hepulledmyclothesoff,strippingmedownuntilIwasnakedand

readytogo.Heonlyhadhissweatpantson,sohekickedthoseasideandclimbedontopofme.

HepressedhisfacetotheareabetweenmylegsanddidallthethingsIlovedwithhistongue.He

made me forget about everything else in the world and had me focus on him alone. I lay back and
writhedashepleasedmeinsuchaprofoundway.

When I was just on the verge of release, he stopped and climbed on top of me, separating my

thighswithhisashepreparedtoenterme.Hiscockwasrock-hardandeager.

He sucked my bottom lip and nibbled on it gently before he inserted his tip inside me. My

slicknesswasabundantsohehadaneasytimesqueezingthrough.Oncehewascompletelyinsideme,
hereleasedtheloudestmoanI’veeverheard.“Fuck.”

Hiscockfeltevenbetterwithoutlatex.Icouldfeelhishardnesswithmoredefinition,andtheway

heslidbackandforthwasevenmoretantalizing.Mynailsrandownhisbackashemoved.

Herockedintomewithlong,evenstrokes.Sometimeshewouldslowdowntokissme,planting

softcaressestothecornerofmymouth.Thenhewouldspeedupagain,lookingmeintheeyeashe
rocked.

Withinminutes,mybodytensedthenreleased.Iscreamedanddugmynailsintohisback,loving

thefactthateverysingleorgasmhegavemelastedforever.Theywerepowerfulandmademyspine
achefromtheintensity.

Rykerpreparedforhismoment.Heseparatedmylegsfartherandgaveslowstrokes,breathing

hardandpreparingfortheblast.Gruntscamefromthebackofhisthroatashemoved.

Igrabbedhisassandpulledhimfartherintome.“Comeinsideme.”
Thatwasthetriggertohisthreshold.Hepressedhisfacetomineashereleased,fillingmewith

hiswarmth.Therewasadistinctheavinessinsideme,andthefactthathisseedwassoabundantturned
meonalloveragain.

When he was finished, he stayed on top of me, his dick softening inside me. Sweat was on his

chest,andIkisseditaway.Hecontinuedtobreathehardbeforeheslowlypulledoutofme.Heturned
overandlayonhisback,hiseyesontheceiling.“Shit,thatwasgood.”

“Itreallywas…”NowIwasreadytogotosleep.

***

Rykermassagedmyscalpwiththeshampoo,diggingintomyhairwithhislargehands.Hiseyes

trailedoverthesoapsudsthatdrifteddownmybody.“Didyoubringabag?”

“No.”
“Whynot?”Hekepttheaggressionoutofhisvoice,butthetonewasstillthere.
“BecauseIdon’tplanonsleepingover.”
“Whydon’tyouwanttosleephere?”
I loved staying with Ryker. Having a hunky man to hold me all night was a dream come true.

WhenIwokeupthefollowingmorning,mydaywouldstartoffrightwithanawesomeorgasm.And
thekisseshegavemewerethebest.I’dneverbeenkissedlikethatinallmylife.“Idowanttosleep
here.Justnoteverynight.Theweekendsarefine.”

“Howaretheyanydifferentthanweekdays?”

“Because I have work in the morning. I have other responsibilities with friends and family.”

Basically,Ihadalife.JustbecauseIhadaboyfrienddidn’tmeanIwasgoingtodropeveryone.Itwas
okay if I spent less time with them, but to bring it down to less than a few times a week was
horrendous.I’dhadfriendswhoditchedmethesecondMr.Rightcamealong.Iwasn’tgoingtodothe
samething.

Hesighedindisappointment.
Rykerdidn’tstrikemeasthekindofguywhowantedawomanaroundallthetimeanyway.He

seemedlikealoner,wantingtodothingsonhisown.Hisdarknessandintensitysuggestedit.“Why
doyouwantmehereallthetime?”

“Whatkindofquestionisthat?”Hegrabbedabarofsoapandrubbeditintomyskin.
“Asimpleone.”
“Ilikebeingwithyou.Ithoughtthatwasobvious.”
“Butallthetime?”Iaskedinsurprise.
Heshrugged.“Idon’tgetiteither.AndI’msorryyoudon’tfeelthesameway.”Hedidn’tmake

eyecontactwithmeagain.Hefocusedonscrubbingmybodywiththebar.

“It’snotthatIdon’tfeelthesameway,Ryker.”I’dalreadyallowedmywallstofalltoofar.IfIlet

them come down any lower, I was afraid of what would happen. There were a hundred chains
wrappedaroundmyheart,andwitheverypassingweek,onemorecameloose.“Ijust…”

“Justwhat?”hepressed.
“Idon’twanttogettoodeepuntilIknowwhatthisis.”
Hiseyesreturnedtominebuthisexpressionwasunreadable.
Nowthatthesubjecthadbeenbroached,Iwantedhimtogivemeananswer.Whatwasthis?We

weren’tseeinganyoneelseandweweretogether,butwhatdidthatmean?

Rykermovedthebartohisownarmsandlatheredthesoapeverywhere.“Idon’thaveananswer

foryou.AllIknowis,I’veneverdonethisbefore.”

“Donewhat,exactly?”
“I’ve never wanted a girl to stay over before. Sleepovers aren’t my thing. I’ve never given

someonemyfidelity.That’snewtoo.I’veneverthoughtaboutonepersonsomuchbefore.Usually,I
forget their name soon after we’re done.” He spoke with confidence, not an ounce of shame inside
him.“Allofthisisnewterritoryforme.I’mjustasconfusedasyouare.”

Hiswordsfilledmelikeaballoon,butthelackofconcretestatementsalsounnervedme.“What

isitaboutmethatyou’redrawnto?Whenwefirstmet,youmovedonandforgotaboutmewhenI
declinedyouroffer.Afterweslepttogether,youstilldidn’twanttoseemeagain.So,whatchanged
afterthat?”

Helatheredshampooinhishairthenrinseditout.Hiseyeswerelifeless,hidingeverythingfrom

me.Thesilencestretchedonforever.Watersplashedonthetilebelowourfeet,makingbackground
noise.“I’mnotsure,Rae.AllthewomenI’vebeenwithhavewantedsomethingmore.Butyou…you
were able to walk away without any expectation in the world. The fact that you were so…confident
withyourselftocarryoncaughtmebysurprise.Youdidn’twaitaroundforme,andyouwereeven
fine with your friend sleeping with me. I guess…that caught my attention. And the fact that you’re
independent, strong, funny… and so many other things stuck with me. I haven’t stopped thinking
aboutyouanddon’tthinkIcanstopthinkingaboutyou.You’redifferentthanalltheothersand…I’m
notignorantofthat.”

DidthatmeanIwasspecial?ThatImeantsomethingtohim?Hewantedtobearoundmeallthe

timeandhealwaystreatedmewithrespect.TherewasneveratimewhenIfeltlikehedidn’tcare.“Do
youseethisgoingsomewhere?”

“That’stooadvancedforme,”hesaidquickly.“ButIwon’tbegoinganywhereanytimesoon.”

Heranhisfingersthroughhishairwhileholdingmygaze.

“Why are you the way you are?” It was something I wanted to know for a while. I understood

whyRexandZekewerelikethat.Theysimplydidn’tcareenoughaboutanyonesofar,buttheywere
opentotheideaofacommitment.Rykerwasthecompleteopposite.

“Ilikebeingalone.”Hesaiditcalmly,likeitwasabsolutelynormaltosaysomethinglikethat.“I

likehavingmyownspace.IlikegettingwhatIneedfromsomeonethenmovingonwithmylife.I
like…myfreedom.”

ItwasthesaddestthingI’veeverheard.“Butwhy?”
Heshookhishead.“IguessI’vebeenletdownalotinthepast.”
“So, you’ve been in a relationship before?” That made me feel better. Maybe he was with

someone,andshebrokehisheart.Thatwouldn’tmakehimcold,justscared.

“No.Never.”
Oh.“Thenwho’sletyoudown?”
Itwasclearhewasn’tgoingtoanswermebythelookonhisface.“Itdoesn’tmatter.”
JustwhenIthoughthewasopeninguptome.“Howmanywomenhaveyoubeenwith?”
Aslightmomentofirritationcameintohiseyes.“Doesitmatter?”
“I’dliketoknowbutyouaren’trequiredtotellmeanything,Ryker.JustkeepinmindthatwhileI

don’tknowthenumber,Iknowit’shigh.AndIalreadyknewyouhadseriousrelationshipissues,but
I’mstillhere.So,youdon’tneedtohidewhoyouare.Ialreadyknow.”

Hiseyessoftenedslightly,likehewasrememberingwhowasaskingthequestionratherthanthe

questionitself.“Idon’tknowanexactnumberbutprobablyoverthreehundred.”

That’ssomany…
“Butkeepinmind,that’soverthecourseofabouttenyears.”
Thatdidn’tmatter.Thenumberwasstillridiculous.“Andtheywereallflings?”
“Prettymuch.One-timers.”
“One-timers?”
“One-night stands,” he explained. “I don’t usually sleep with the same person more than once.

Notexcitingafterthefirsttime.”

Thenwhyhadhesleptwithmeatleasttwentytimes?
Hestudiedmyface.“Doyouthinklessofme?”
“No,”Isaidautomatically.
“Areyoulyingtome?”
“No.”
Herelaxedagain.“Iwantyoutoknowthat’snothowIfeelaboutyou.Idon’tknowwhatIcan

offeryouorwherethisisgoing,butIcanatleasttellyouthatmuch.”

“I know.” It didn’t feel like a meaningless fling. Whenever we were together, it felt like a lot

more,likehewasmyboyfriend.Hekissedmefornoreasonatall,andhestillwantedtobewithme
evenwhennosexwasinvolved.IbelievedthiscouldgosomewhereifIgaveitachance.Thechains
aroundmyheartwerebecomingbrittleandfatiguedfromtheconstantstrain.Theywantedtocome
loose and give this relationship everything it deserved. Despite his issues, I’d fallen for him. There
wasnowhereelseI’dratherbethanwithRyker.

“And for what it’s worth, I’ve never had sex without a condom before. My first time was with

you.”

“Never?”Iaskedwithagasp.
Heshookhishead.
“Howisthatpossible?”
“BecauseI’veneversleptwiththesamepersonenoughtimestoallowit.So,IknewIwasclean

beforeIeventookthattest.”

Itwasn’tadeclarationofloveoramarriageproposal,butitwassomething.Maybehecouldn’t

promisemeforever,buthecouldatleastpromisemetomorrow.Heshowedmehowhecouldbein
thebeginningofourfriendship.Whenhedidn’tgetwhathewanted,hemovedon.Buthealsoshowed
mehowmuchhecouldchangewhenhewantedto.Hesethiseyesonme,andhewasstillhere.He
wantedtosleepovereverynight.Hewantedmetobehisalone.Heaskedformonogamybecausehe
only wanted to be with me. It was still risky, but every relationship was risky. “I think it does mean
something.”

***

IletSafariofftheleash,andthesecondhewasfree,hesprintedintoZeke’sbackyardandstarted

runningincircles.Histonguefloppedaroundasheran,theexcitementburninginhiseyes.“Whata
dork.”

Zekestoodbesideme,abeerinhishand.“He’sjustexcitedtorunaround.”
“Iknow,”Isaidwithasigh.“Oneday,I’llgetahousesohecansniffeverythingandpeeonthe

bushes.”

ZekewalkedbackinsideandIfollowedhim.“Where’sthedipshit?”
“Hesaidhehadtodosomethingbeforeheheadedover.”
“Dowhat?”Zekeasked.
Ishrugged.“Hedidn’ttellme.”Isatonhiscomfycouchandgrabbedmybeerfromthetable.
“Maybewedon’twanttoknow.”Hegavemeaknowinglook.
“Yeah,you’reprobablyright.”
Hesatattheoppositeendofthecouch.“So,what’snewwithyou?”
Ryker was the only thing on my mind. Our last conversation kept playing over and over. I’d

comeacrossmenwhohadcommitmentissuesbutnothinglikethis.“Nothingmuch.”

Zekeknewmebetterthananyone,evenRex.“Somethingisonyourmind.Icantell.”
“How?”
Hetookalongdrinkofhisbeer.“Yourshouldersaremoretensethanusual.Yourbreathingis

different.Yousighalotmorethanyouusuallywould.Youmakeeyecontactlessfrequently.Itseems
likeyourmindissomewhereelseinthemiddleofaconversation.Youtouchyourhairalot,puttingit
behindyourearsorjustplayingwithit…”

Damn.HeknewmebetterthanIthought.“It’saboutRyker…”
Helookedaway.“Troubleinparadise?”
“Uh…Idon’tknow.”
He leaned back into the couch and looked up at the ceiling. “I can tell this is going to be

complicated.”

“Itis.”
“Layitonme.”
Zeke was probably a good person to talk to because he was hardly ever in a relationship. Rex

was more similar to Ryker, but it was too awkward to have that kind of conversation with him.
“Everything has been going well. We spend a lot of time together and there haven’t been any
problems.Buthepestersmetostayoverallthetime.WheneverIwanttogohomeordosomething
else,hedoesn’twantmetoleave.”

“Isn’tthatagoodthing?”
“Itis.Butthenitmademewonderwhereourrelationshipwasgoing.I’vegivenourrelationship

a chance, but I’ve had my guard up at the same time. While I know he’s different with me, I’m not
stupid.”

“Anddidyouaskhimaboutit?”

“Idid.”
Zeketurnedhisgazeonmeandwatchedmeforafewseconds.“I’mguessingthisiswherethe

troublecomesintoplay…”

“Hesaidhe’sneverhadarelationshipbefore.He’shardlysleptwiththesamegirltwice.I’mthe

first girl he’s had this kind of connection with. He’s never been monogamous with anyone in his
entirelife.”

“Well…itsoundslikethingsaredifferentwithyou.”
“But he doesn’t know if he could ever give me more than what we have now. Which is fine, I

guess.Butwhatif…”

“Whatifwhat?”
Ifallinlovewithhim.“Thingsbecomemoreserious.”
Zekesethisbeerdownandcrossedhisarmsoverhischest.
“Idon’tknowifIshouldgetoutofthisrelationshipnoworstickitout.”Iturnedtohim.“What

doyouthink?”

He rubbed the back of his neck as he considered my question. “I’m not going to tell you what

youshoulddo.Nevertakeanyone’sadvicewhentheyaren’tinthesamesituation.ButI’lltellyouthis.
IfRyker ’sneverbeenlikethiswithanyonebefore,there’sagoodchanceyou’rereallyimportantto
him.Ifhe’salreadychangedthatmuch,he’llprobablykeepchanging.He’snotstupid.Heunderstands
hefoundadiamondintherough.”

Ismiled.
“But,Ialsothinkyou’reinstoreforalotofheadaches.Rykerisjustasconfusedasyouare,and

he’sgoingtoscrewitupsomewheredowntheline.You’regoingtogethurtregardlessifhe’strying
toavoidit.Whateverissueshehas,theyaren’tgoingawayovernight.It’llbealong,uphillbattle.Rae,
youcanhavewhomeveryouwant.It’llsaveyoualotoftimeifyoujustfoundsomeonewhocould
giveyouexactlywhatyouwant.”

Itwasdefinitelymorepractical.Anditmadealotmoresense.IfIdatedanormalguyandknewit

wasgoingtogosomewhereifthechemistrywasright,I’dbemuchhappier.I’ddonethefuckbuddy
thingbefore.Itwasfine,alotoffun,andinvolvedgreatsex,butIgothurtintheendbecausehedidn’t
commit just like he warned he wouldn’t. Ryker is very similar to that. “But there’s a problem with
that…”

“What?”Zekeasked.
“I don’t want anyone else.” I knew it deep in my heart. Whatever I felt for Ryker wasn’t

superficialorempty.Therewasadeepconnectionthere,andIcoulddateahundredguysbutnever
stopthinkingabouthim.“Idon’tknowwhyIfeelthisway…butIdo.”

Zekebowedhisheadandsighed,likehewasmoredisappointedbythatresponsethanIwas.“I

knowRykerissuaveandcharmingorwhatever.ThegirlsalwayslikehimandIunderstandwhy.But
youcouldhavesomeonejustasamazingifyoulookedalittleharder.”Heraisedhisheadandlooked
meintheeye.“Youcouldhaveaguywhokissesthegroundyouwalkonbutdoesn’tactlikeapussy
atthesametime.Youcouldhaveamanwhowillgiveyoueverythingyoucouldpossiblywantand
nothurtyoualongtheway.Hecouldrockyourworldeverynightandmakeyourtoescurl.Andatthe
end of the day, he would always make sure you knew how much he loved you.” Zeke continued
staringintomyeyes,likehewastryingtotellmesomethingelse.

Whenthestarebecametoointense,Ilookedaway.“Nomanhaseversweptmeoffmyfeetlike

that.OnlyRyker.”IrememberedthelastmanIdated.“ThelastguyIwasseeingshovedhistongueup
mynose.”

“Thatdatenevershouldhavehappened,”hesaid.“Youdon’tneedablinddateanyway.”
“Iwastryingtogetoutmore…”IchuckledbecauseitwasoneoftheworstdatesI’deverhad.

“Atleastit’safunnystorytotell.”

Hesmiled.“Yeah,Iguessitisfunny.”
“Zeke,haveyoueverbeeninlove?”Ifhehad,henevertoldmeaboutit.
“Um…”Heturnedhisgazeawayagain.“No,Ihaven’t.ButIknowIcouldbe.”
“Whatdoesthatmean?”
“TherewasthisgirlIwasreallyinto…butshenevernoticedme.ShekeptlookingatmelikeI

was just a friend. If she finally opened her eyes and saw what was right in front of her…we could
havehadsomethingprettydamnamazing.”

Ididn’thaveacluewhomhewastalkingabout.“Whathappenedtoher?”
Heshruggedandneveranswered.
Rexopenedthedoorandwalkedinside.“Yo,it’sme.”
“Weknow,”Zekesaid.“Whoelsewouldjustwalkinlikethat?”
“OrbecauseyouknewIwascoming.”Hecameintothelivingroomandstoodbythebackofthe

couch.

“Whatdidyouneedtodo?”Iasked.
RexheldupaHallmarkcard.“Igotyouguyssomething.”Hehandeditover.“Keepinmind,I’m

pennilessrightnow.”

Zeketookitthenturneditoverasheexaminedit.“What’sitfor?”
Rexputhishandsinhispockets.“Youknow…foreverything.”
Zekelookedatmebeforehedidthehonorsandopenedthecard.Thenhemovedbesidemeon

the couch so we both could read it at the same time. It was a red card with a bunch of pink hearts
everywhere.

“Iknowthecardiskindoflame…”Rexshruggedandlookedattheground.

ZekeandRae,
Ijustwantedtosaythankyouforeverythingyou’vedoneforme.Youweren’tobligatedtodo

anything,andIdidn’taskforanything,butyouwantedtohelpanyway.I’dbedrowningrightnowifit
weren’tforthebothofyou.Imaybebrokeandwithoutacenttomyname,butIfeelrichhavingthe
twoofyouinmylife.

Sincerely,
Rex

“Awe…”ItwasoneofthesweetestthingsRexhadeverdone.
“Thatwasthoughtful,”Zekesaid.“Thanks,man.”HeleftthecouchthenhuggedRex.Theydidn’t

usuallyshowaffectiontoeachother,butthiswasanexception.Heclappedhimontheshoulder.“You
woulddoitforme.”

Rexnodded.
Icamearoundthecouchandstoppedinfrontofhim.“YouknowIwoulddoanythingforyou,

Rex.Youtookcareofmewhenitwasn’tyourresponsibility,andI’llalwaystakecareofyou.”

Rex didn’t handle emotion very well, so he looked uncomfortable. “I know. You have no idea

howthankfulIamthatwehaveeachother…evenifwedon’thaveanyoneelse.”

Iopenedmyarms.“Shouldwehugorsomething?”
The corner of his lip lifted in a half smile. “I guess we can…but we can’t let this turn into a

habit.”

“Deal.”Ipulledhiminforahugandwrappedmyarmsaroundhiswaist.
Rexrestedhischinonmyhead.Hisarmswerearoundmyshoulders.
Zekestoodtheresilently,givingusamoment.

Rexclearedhisthroatandsteppedaway.“Okay,enoughofthelovey-doveyshit.”Hecrossedhis

armsoverhischestanddidn’tlookatmeagain.“Ineedabeerorsomething.”

Zekechuckled.“Ormaybeashot?”
“Yeah.”Rexsnappedhisfingers.“Ineedashotofvodka.”
“Comingrightup.”Zekeheadedintothekitchen.
IkeptsmilingatRexbecauseIknewhewasabigsoftyunderthatroughexterior.
“What?”
Ishrugged.“Nothing.”
“You’regivingmethatlook.”
“Whatlook?”Iplayedinnocent.
“Likeyou’rethinkingorsomething.”
“Well,Idothinkprettyoften.”
“Well,Idon’tlikeit.”
Igavehimaplayfulslaponthearm.“YoureallywanttoknowwhatIwasthinking?”
“Notreally.”
Icrossedmyarmsovermychest.
“Okay,Ialreadyknowwhatyouwerethinking.”
“What?”
“Thatyouloveme.”Hecringedlikehewasdisgustedbyhisownwords.
Igrinnedfromear-to-ear.“You’reamindreader.AndIknowwhatyou’rethinkingtoo.”
“Donot,”hesnapped.
“Youlovemetoo.”
Herolledhiseyesandwalkedaway.
“What?”Isaid.“Youdo.”
“Don’t push it.” He walked into the kitchen and his voice carried. “Zeke, where the hell is that

goddamnshot?”

ThestorycontinuesinBook2oftheRaySeries.

Clickheretopurchase

RayofHope

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E.L.Todd

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