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on November 7th, 2013, based

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The content in this book is copyrighted by EternalE or their authorised
agent(s). All rights are reserved except where explicitly stated otherwise.

This story was first published on October 3rd, 2013, and was last updated on
November 7th, 2013.

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29. Chapter 29
30. Chapter 30
31. Chapter 31
32. Chapter 32
33. Chapter 33
34. Chapter 34
35. Chapter 35
36. Chapter 36
37. Chapter 37
38. Chapter 38
39. Chapter 39

- 4 -

Summary

Dr. Edward Cullen loves his job, but lives for his daughter. When her little world

explodes he will do anything to piece it back together. But could the solution also
bring him the happiness he didn't realize he was missing?

- 5 -

Chapter 1

Hello my friends... I have another little story to tell you. Pull up a chair

and listen.

I own nothing. SM owns it all. I just like to play.

This will post a couple times a week. Shorter chapters. About 30 in total

give or take.

And here we go.

I was awake long before the sun came up. I watched the breaking dawn with

growing trepidation.

Was I doing the right thing? Was leaving everything familiar going to make

matters worse? I had really hoped a fresh start would help; maybe ease the pain of
the memories we were both living with. At this point I was willing to try anything, do
anything.

I sighed and rolled over, still not used to sleeping alone. Although Tanya had

never been a cuddler and our intimacy had been practically non-existent in the past
couple years, she had still been there when I woke up. This bed seemed far too big
for one person and the emptiness of it seemed to echo the emptiness in my heart.

I met Tanya during my final year of residency. She was pretty, fun and we seemed

to get along well. She knew my limitations with the schedule I had at the hospital
and she never demanded more. Without officially declaring ourselves, we became
exclusive. She went out a lot with her friends and I was fine with that; I never
wanted to stifle her social life with my time limitations. I knew she wasn't the type of
girl to sit around at home waiting for me to call. When I could go out or had time off,
we spent it together.

One night, after Tanya had cancelled on me three times in a row, I knew

something was up and just showed up at her apartment. Her roommate let me in
and quickly left. I walked into her room half expecting to find her with someone else,
but instead found a pale looking girlfriend, with watery eyes. Concerned that she
was ill, I switched into doctor mode immediately. She waved off my ministrations
impatiently.

- 6 -

"Tanya, tell me what's wrong." I pleaded.

"I'm pregnant, Edward."

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. We always used precautions. I

stared at her in confusion.

She looked up at me bleakly. "The night of the tequila shot fest at Quincy's?"

Oh fuck.

We had gotten carried away... and until this second I hadn't remembered we

hadn't used a condom.

"Don't worry about it. Edward. I'm having an abortion on Monday. I've already

booked the appointment. I just didn't want to see you until after it was done."

My gut clenched. "No Tanya, you can't do that."

"Yes I can, Edward. I can't raise a child on my own. I don't even know if I want a

child. But I do know I don't want one under these circumstances."

"Marry me." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Tanya laughed, a brittle sound, which ended with a half sob.

"Why Edward? Because you love me so much…or because I'm carrying your

child?"

"Both," I said sincerely.

She looked up at me dubiously.

"Really?"

I nodded.

"I know it's not how we would have planned it, Tanya. But we'll make it work."

She was silent for a moment, then nodded.

"Okay Edward, I'll marry you."

- 7 -

I rolled back over trying to get comfortable. I should have known then what a

stupid idea that was. She wasn't ready to get married or have a family. But, the
thought of her having an abortion, or even if I'd talked her out of it, putting my child
up for adoption was unacceptable. I threw my arm over my eyes to block out the
light.

We were married quickly and quietly. Eight months later Emma Deborah Cullen

was born and became the light of my life. I was able to take a short period of time
off work after she was born, and they were the happiest days of my life. Just
watching her sleeping made me smile. Being able to hold her brought me a joy I had
never known existed. Every moment spent with her was amazing and fatherhood
became the most important role in my life. Tanya wasn't the most maternal of
mothers I had ever seen, but she seemed to adjust fairly quickly. We were, I
thought, relatively happy. There was no great passion between us, but we got along
well and our common bond was our daughter and her wellbeing. Tanya didn't work
but kept busy with charitable organizations and being a mother. I worked long hours
being a new doctor, but I knew it was just a matter of time before that settled down
into a more normal routine. Every moment I wasn't working, I spent with Emma.
Four years seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye.

Then two months ago I walked in the door of our house, exhausted after a double

shift at the hospital and found suitcases by the door. Tanya was sitting on the couch
waiting for me. I felt my stomach clench as I looked between the suitcases and her.

"Going somewhere?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"I'm leaving you, Edward. I'm done." Her voice was cold and angry and her eyes

were devoid of any emotion.

"Done?" I asked confused.

She stood up. "Yes," she snapped. "Done with this farce of a marriage. Done

pretending to be a happy little family. What a fucking joke."

I was shocked at the venom in her voice. "You're not happy Tan?"

"Don't fucking call me that! You know I hate nicknames. No, I'm not happy,

Edward. Can you honestly say you are?"

I stopped short at her words.

- 8 -

Was I happy?

I thought I was.

"Think about it, Edward. When's the last time we laughed? Went out? Did

something?"

"We went to the park last week, and then out for dinner," I protested, trying to

think.

"No I'm not fucking talking with Emma. You . Me. Us. We're not a couple Edward.

We're just Emma's parents, and we share a house."

She stepped forward, her voice icy. "When's the last time you fucked me,

Edward?"

I stepped back. "When's the last time you offered, Tanya?" I hissed, getting angry.

"You can't make me out to be the bad guy here. I've done everything I could to give
you a home and a good life. I work hard for you and Emma."

"Emma. Always your first thought isn't she, Edward?"

I was confused. "She's our daughter Tanya. Of course she's my priority."

She shook her head. "She's been your priority since the moment I told you I was

pregnant. Everyone thought you were so wonderful when I was pregnant. The way
you watched over me, made sure I took my vitamins, ate well, went to the doctors,
blah blah blah. It was never for me. It was always for her. It's always been for her."

Her voice lowered. "I should never have told you I was pregnant. I should have

had the abortion and kept it to myself."

I stared in horror at the woman before me. That she could say she wished our

daughter didn't exist was appalling. It sounded as if she was actually jealous of her
own child. A sudden thought hit me.

"You aren't taking my daughter away from me," I informed her, my voice clipped

and angry.

She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I have no intention of taking her with me. I don't want her Edward. I never did.

- 9 -

And I'm tired of pretending."

"How the fuck can you say that?" I snarled. "She's your child. You gave birth to

her."

"I never wanted a child, Edward and I don't want to be a mother anymore! I'm

tired of all of it, the daycare and the giggles and the messiness and the questions...
all of it."

I stared at her in shock.

"You don't mean that."

"I do. All she does is talk. And giggle. And play. And want things. Hugs, snuggles,

snacks , it's always something. It's constant. There's never any peace. I want quiet. I
want adult things. No more Dora. No more Sesame Street. I'm tired of listening to
baby talk all the fucking time!" Tanya's voice had risen with each sentence and now
she was yelling in my face.

I grabbed her arms and shook her. "Keep your voice down! You are going to wake

her up!"

She shook off my arms. "I. Don't. Care."

"I'm leaving Edward. Now. For good.I'm going somewhere with no children. No

giggles. No talk talk talk. Especially from her."

She bent over and grabbed her suitcases. "I'll get the rest of my things later."

"Tanya, stop. You can't do this."

"I can and I am Edward. I don't love you. I don't love Emma."

A strange noise caught my ear and I turned around. Standing on the steps,

clutching her floppy bunny, tears running down her face, was Emma.

Oh God. How much had she heard? I looked over at Tanya and saw no reaction on

her face. She didn't care; she simply continued getting ready to walk away.

I crossed the room quickly and swung Emma up in my arms, holding her closely,

trying to soothe her tears. I turned around to beg Tanya to reconsider, but she was
already walking towards the door.

- 10 -

Emma reached out her tiny hand towards Tanya imploringly. "M..M..M..Mommy?"

she whispered brokenly.

Tanya didn't stop or turn around. She walked out and closed the door firmly

behind her. Emma buried her face into my neck and sobbed silently, her little body
shaking with grief. I ran my hand over her back repeatedly, telling her I loved her,
over and over , trying to soothe her, but I couldn't. The damage had been done.

Mommy.

That was the last word I heard Emma utter, and that was two months ago.

So you all have someone to hate right off the bat.

Are you with me?

- 11 -

Chapter 2

Wow. 183 reviews for one chapter. That is completely amazing to me. I am

blown away. Thank you so much.

Because I am old and forget sometimes, I want to say this. Thank you

Kitkat and Sandy for prereading. I have new team member who has been
very helpful - welcome LizzieD1211 and thanks for all your suggestions. And
Midnight Cougar betas, soothes, encourages and occasionally kicks my ass. I
would be lost without her.

Now back to Edward.

I gave up. I wasn't going to be able to sleep anymore. I got up, threw on my

clothes and went downstairs to make some coffee. I stopped and checked on Emma,
who was still sleeping peacefully, huddled under her covers with Mr. Floppy.

I looked around the nearly empty kitchen with a sigh. I still had doubts if I was

making the right decision. Doctors, therapists, test after test…nothing. Nothing
physical could be found. But, not a word, not a sound, aside from the occasional sad
sigh, escaped Emma's tiny little mouth.

I watched helplessly as day after day she seemed to live in a world of her own,

only existing in mine. She ate with me, I drove her to and from daycare, bathed her,
colored and played with her, and yet she seemed to only withdraw further and
further away from me. It was the same at daycare. She played by herself, ate by
herself and never verbally responded to anything anyone asked her, except with a
small smile or a nod of her head. She asked for nothing, never made a fuss, never
cried, ate what was in front of her and except for the non-talking, was a perfect
child. I hated every single second of it. The silence that surrounded us was
deafening.

The coffeemaker beeped and I roused myself out of my melancholy thoughts to get

a cup. I opened the fridge and grimaced. No cream. No milk either. I shook my head.
Of course not. Most of the house was packed up, or at least what was left after
Tanya took what she liked; which was almost everything. I didn't really care, she had
picked out the décor, as well as the actual house, and it was never really to my taste,
being rather over the top. Aside from the bed I slept in, and the contents of Emma's
room, the place was mostly empty. And I was leaving the bed behind. The only
things coming with us were personal items and all of Emma's familiar pieces. A

- 12 -

fresh, clean slate. Maybe if we were away from this house and its memories, Emma
would start to act like a normal child again. How I longed to hear her sweet little
voice saying Daddy. Or hear her childish giggling laughter bubbling out of her
mouth.

I sat down heavily on the stool by the counter and took a drink of the bitter coffee.

Grimacing, I placed the mug down next to the messy pile of papers sitting there. I
picked them up, my heart aching as I reread them. Not wasting any time, Tanya had
signed away all parental rights to Emma. She had also started divorce proceedings,
claiming "irreconcilable differences" and "a hostile, unliveable environment" as her
grounds. When I had first seen the papers, I was livid; our daughter and I were
considered hostile? Because she needed a mother and I wanted a wife? I folded the
papers up and stuffed them into my briefcase sitting on the counter, not wanting to
look at them anymore. I dropped my head into my hands, already exhausted. My
lawyers were dealing with her terms; I just wanted it over and done with.
Apparently, all she wanted was a lump sum settlement and to be rid of me and our
child. I shook my head … my child. Emma was no longer hers. She threw her away
and in the process destroyed her precious spirit. She no longer had the right to call
herself a mother.

Alone in the empty kitchen, once again, I found myself reflecting on the past four

years, wondering how I had been so wrong. I had tried so hard to do everything
right. I had cared about Tanya and tried my best, wanting to be a good husband to
her and father to our daughter. Regardless of what Tanya thought, every decision I
made was for both of them.

I had fussed over her during her pregnancy, but not simply because of Emma. I

wanted to look after her as well. She never liked that and went out of her way to
avoid me doing so, which had always puzzled me. When Emma was born, I offered to
have someone come in and help her out, but she was the one who made the decision
to stay home with her, and not return to work. I had accepted a job at the local
hospital so that Tanya didn't have to separate herself from everything she knew and
was comfortable with. When she decided to take some evening classes as well as do
some charity work in the daytime, I adjusted my schedule to be home with Emma
and even agreed to put Emma in daycare to free up more of Tanya's time. She still
enjoyed spending evenings with her friends, which I supported, knowing she had
always needed that outlet for herself. Emma and I were never included, but I always
felt she needed the time away. I grimaced. I never knew just how much time she
wanted away from us.

I had been so blind. Only now, did I realize that what I thought was Tanya's

natural reticence towards silliness and being demonstrative with Emma and me, had

- 13 -

actually been distaste for both of us. Never one to show great emotion in any facet
of her life, I now grasped just how distant she was with Emma and even more so
with me, the coldness growing with each passing year. The fun girl I had cared for
only existed to her friends. That side of her disappeared from my life as soon as we
were married. I had just been too focused on trying to do the right thing to see it. I
had been so busy attempting to fix something, which could never be repaired, to
actually realize what I was doing, or what was happening right in front of me.

The phone rang, breaking into my rapidly deteriorating mood and I picked it up.

"Morning, Edward," my mom sang over the phone. "I'm so excited that in a few

hours you and Emma will be here!"

I smiled, despite my mood. "Yeah, Mom. We'll be there this afternoon. Craig is

dropping us off at the airport after I take my car to be shipped. I know Emma is
looking forward to seeing you."

"How is she doing?" Mom asked, her voice dropping a little.

I sighed. "The same. Quiet. Perfect. The fucking perfect little robot child."

"Oh, Edward." I could hear the unshed tears in her voice. "It's going to get better.

I promise."

"I hope so, Mom. I can't take much more," I admitted quietly.

She sighed. "Well let's hope this will be a fresh start – for both of you, Edward. I

met the woman who runs the daycare next to the hospital several times. She's lovely
and so amazing with the children; obviously she loves them like her own. I spent a
few hours there yesterday and she was thrilled when I asked if I could volunteer
there every week. I think Emma will be in very good hands there. It's a wonderful
place."

"Does she know?"

"She knows Emma doesn't speak. I didn't tell her the history. That is up to you

what you want to share."

I nodded, even though she could not see me do so. "Thanks Mom. Look, the

movers are going to be here soon to take the last few things. I gotta get Emma up
and organized. We'll see you soon."

- 14 -

"Safe trip, my darling boy. Love you."

"Love you, too."

I hung up and dumped the horrid tasting coffee. I went upstairs and wasn't

surprised to find Emma awake, but still sitting on her bed. Leaning down, I scooped
her up and help her closely. "Hey, my Babygirl. Did you sleep well?" I felt the little
bob of her head against my chest. I sighed quietly, knowing that would be my only
response. I nuzzled the curls on the top of her head softly. "Grams just called. She is
so excited to see you today. You ready to get up and we can get going?" She pulled
away slightly and nodded again with a timid little smile. My heart ached seeing her
hesitation to show any emotion. Stroking her little cheek, I smiled at her. "Daddy
loves you, you know that?" I whispered quietly.

A little nod.

"You can say anything you want to say to Daddy and he'll still love you, Babygirl.

Anything." I stressed gently. I watched as she raised her two fingers to her lips,
kissed them, and then placed her fingers on my lips. It was something I had done
with her from the time she was a tiny baby. Smiling, I accepted her silent kiss and
message of love, my heart breaking once again. Blinking away the burn of the tears I
could feel starting, I stood up. It was time to move forward.

"Okay, Babygirl. Let's get you dressed. "

So a little more insight into Edward's past.

And Emma. His Babygirl. Sigh.

See you Thursday.

- 15 -

Chapter 3

The response this has gotten is so amazing to me. Thank you. I am

humbled.

I smiled looking at Emma curled up on my mother's knee. She was burrowed into

her, asleep after a long day. Between the movers taking the last few things,
dropping off the car, saying goodbye to Craig and his family and the long plane ride,
it had been a big day for her. Stifling a yawn, I admitted to myself it had been a big
day for both us.

After we had arrived, I had left Emma with her Grams and Dad and I went over

and checked out the house Mom had found for us. I was pleased walking through it,
even more so than I had been when I saw the pictures Mom had sent. It was a
bungalow on a nice street with a fenced in back yard, other children in the
neighbourhood and not too far away, yet not too close to my parents. It had been
recently upgraded and the three bedrooms were a good size. The master had its own
bathroom, with the other two rooms sharing the second one. Smaller than the house
I had shared with Tanya, it felt more like a family home than a showpiece which is
how I always felt in the other house. I stood in the kitchen looking through the patio
doors to the yard.

"Maybe we could get a swing set for Emma," I mused. Tanya had refused to have

any sort of play things in the yard for Emma. She hated the clutter and had informed
me more than once, that was what parks were for.

Behind me Dad chuckled. "Already done. And a sand box. And unless I'm

mistaken, your mom ordered you a patio set and a barbeque as a housewarming
gift."

I laughed. "That's quite the house warming gift."

He clapped his hand on my shoulder. "It's also a 'I'm so glad you are home and

brought my granddaughter close to me' gift as well I think, Edward. Your mom is
thrilled to have you both close again."

I nodded silently.

"Whatever we can do, Edward. We know how hard this has been for you."

- 16 -

I shrugged. "Not as hard as it's been for Emma, Dad. I'm not the one who heard

her mother say she wasn't wanted." I drew in a deep breath. "I have never hated
another human being as much in my life as I do Tanya these days. Her selfishness,
her carelessness...she caused this. She didn't love me. I accept that. Our marriage
wasn't what it should have been. I hold myself responsible for that. But to do what
she did? To say what she did and let Emma hear her? She could have just left but
instead she destroyed my child."

"She'll come back, Edward," he assured me quietly. "We'll get her back."

I struggled to maintain my composure. I could feel the emotions I fought so hard

to stay hidden bubbling up, threatening to escape. I looked over at my father who
gazed back at me knowingly. "We have you, son. We're going to help both of you."

And suddenly I was five again, seeking the safety and shelter of my father's arms,

which, like many years ago, wrapped around me and offered a safe place in a
moment of need.

I blinked, returning to the present. "I'm sorry, Mom; you said something?"

She smiled gently at me. "I asked if you were going to go and see the daycare

tomorrow while you are checking in at the hospital."

I nodded. "I am. Then, I thought maybe you could come and help me pick a sofa

and a few other things out?" I paused with a grin and a wink towards my dad who
was also grinning by this point. She still hadn't come clean about the backyard stuff
yet. "Unless, of course, you have already chosen them for me."

She had the grace to look ashamed, but only briefly. "I may have done some

legwork for you."

Both dad and I laughed. I stood up and smoothly gathered Emma up from mom's

knee, dropping a kiss on her head. "I'd expect nothing less from Esme Cullen. I'll
tuck the munchkin into bed and you can show me what you have on that laptop of
yours. I'm surprised you haven't exploded already."

She leaned up and kissed Emma, stroking her cheek softly. "I just want to make

this as easy for you as possible."

I smiled. "I know, Mom. I'll be back. Then you can pretend to give me a choice on

- 17 -

the furniture you've already decided on that would be perfect for us."

I left the room to the sound of my dad's chuckle.

"He knows you too well, my love." I heard him murmur as I climbed the steps.

"Hush... don't encourage his cheeky behavior," she huffed. "Now, Carlisle, where

is my laptop?"

I looked down at my Babygirl asleep in my arms. It was a good decision to move

here, to be close to family. We both needed this.

I smiled.

I wasn't smiling the next day. Starting over again was going to be a long, arduous

process. I had to re-establish myself and start at the bottom. At this point, I was just
grateful I had been able to obtain a steady day shift, although that could change at
any given time. After going to the hospital and filling out the endless paperwork
needed, meeting my new boss and getting my on call rotation, my locker assignment
and everything else associated with a new job, I was tired and wanting to just go
home. Except, the house was empty and home was my parents place. Which meant
an open suitcase and a guestroom with zero chance of any privacy.

I sighed. One week. I had one week to set up the house, get Emma settled into

daycare and start my new job. And then, get us onto some sort of schedule. But first,
I had to meet the woman who ran the daycare and explain my daughter's complete
silence and find out how she planned on caring for her. I shook my head, cursing
Tanya again for her selfishness, as I pushed open the door to the daycare centre
after entering the code I had been given by my mother. I stood blinking for a
moment, taking in the room.

Bright, colorful and happy were the first words that came to mind. The room was

large and welcoming with children's artwork hanging everywhere. Windows let in a
lot of light and the sun streamed in without barriers. Large double doors led to a
well-equipped play area in the back that was fully fenced and secure. Inside, the
area was divided up into play and craft areas and the room buzzed with the sound of
children's laughter and talking. I missed that sound. Emma's laughter had always
made me smile and it had been so long since I had heard it. I looked over to a group
of children who were playing a game with two of the caregivers. They were leading
them in some sort of game that involved different animal noises and I smiled as I

- 18 -

listened to their happiness.

Seeing me, one of the girls left the group and approached me. "Can I help you?"

she asked after scanning my pocket to make sure my hospital ID was showing.

I nodded. "I'm looking for the person in charge. Ms. Swan, I believe."

"Yes?"

I looked at her. "I would like to speak with her, if she's here."

"You are...?"

I shook my head. "Edward Cullen. Look, I don't have an appointment but if it's

possible I would like to see her for a moment if she can spare the time."

She looked at me briefly, her brow furrowed.

I stared back at her. Did she not understand me? I wanted to speak to her boss.

"Could you get her for me, please? I would like to speak with her." I asked again

slowly, although I could hear a slight impatient tone in my voice. Maybe she was
simple?

She sighed quietly and stepped forward, her hand outstretched.

"You are." She repeated deliberately.

I blinked and looked at her. "I am what?"

I watched her bite her lip, regarding me quietly.

"Let me rephrase that Mr. Cullen. You are speaking to Ms. Swan. That's me. I am

Bella Swan."

Not the smoothest start Edward...

Lots of discussions on my group page. Edwards Eternal's Love of Words...

come join us!

See you on the weekend.

- 19 -

Chapter 4

Hello all. Please forgive the delay. My sister's partner became very ill and I

had to fly to be with her and help her in this difficult time and hospitals
aren't exactly friendly places for the net especially the neuro ward and that
is bascially where I have been for a week.

Thank you so much to all of you who sent prayers, thoughts and kind

words our way.

So the inital meeing was slightly confusing for them both... let us see if it

gets better shall we?

I stared at her in shock.

This girl ran the daycare? This is the person I was going to be entrusting my

Emma to every day?

Her face changed. It went from polite and slightly confused to angry.

"I assure you, Mr. Cullen, I am no girl," she hissed narrowing her eyes. "I am the

owner and Director of this day care."

I stepped back, startled. Apparently, I had spoken my thoughts out loud. Living

alone with a silent child, I tended to talk out loud to break the constant silence. My
mom had commented on that just yesterday.

"It's Dr. Cullen," I retorted weakly.

"Well, Dr. Cullen, if you would like to discuss Emma's care, please follow me to my

office. Or, if you have already made up your mind that I'm not qualified, due to my
supposed lack of age, you know where the door is. Suit yourself."

And with that, she spun on her heel and marched across the room, stopping to say

something to the caregiver still playing with the group of children. I hesitated
briefly, and then followed her. I stepped into her office to find her sitting at her
desk, angrily tapping on her keyboard.

I sat down, unsure where to start. Obviously, I hadn't made a very good first

impression. As I quickly went over our conversation in my head, I realized her "you

- 20 -

are" had indeed been a statement not a question. She had tried to identify herself,
but my tired brain hadn't caught that. No wonder she had been confused when I
continued to babble.

Ms. Swan leaned over and pulled something off her printer and then stood up. She

crossed around to the front side of her desk and handed me a set of papers. "I need
to go and make sure lunch is being organized for the children. I will leave you with
this and we can discuss it when I return." She walked towards the door. "Or not, if
you prefer, Doctor," she added before leaving.

Puzzled, I looked down and frowned. She had printed her resume. Instantly, my

eyes went to date of birth and I groaned. She was twenty eight. I shook my head.
With her hair up in a ponytail, and dressed in yoga pants and a sweatshirt, she
looked about nineteen. Clearly I hadn't looked that hard at her. I had just assumed.
When my mother had talked about the woman who ran the centre I had pictured an
older woman, grey haired and glasses ,fussing around the children; not a young,
adorable, smart-mouthed …girl.

She had proven her point, but curious, I went through her resume anyway. She

had degrees in child care, child development, as well as child psychology and had
graduated with honors. I glanced up to see the various diplomas on her walls and
walked over to the door looking out into the bright room again. I watched the
caregivers with their small groups and saw how well the children all seemed to
respond to their leader. The laughter and happiness seemed to permeate the room,
and realized I immediately needed to apologize and start again with Ms. Swan. I
wanted Emma to be here. She would be close enough that I could come and see her
if I wanted and this seemed to be a great place. It was run differently than some
daycares I'd seen, and I liked the personal approach it was based on. It had certainly
come highly recommended by other staff members and the references Mom had
checked out all came back with glowing reports. I knew she had researched at least
half a dozen places, since we agreed the level of care was far more important than
the proximity to the hospital. The fact the Busy Bees Daycare Centre was attached
to the hospital was simply an added bonus. I walked around the office looking at the
pictures and artwork from various children Ms. Swan had hung up. I also read some
of the framed letters on the walls, all of which were rich with praise over the care
their child had received at the daycare.

I heard Ms. Swan come in and I turned around to greet her with a sigh and a

smile; I needed to be civil. She held a small tray with two steaming cups and a plate
of cookies in her hand, and I watched as she walked over to the desk and sat it
down. Turning, she held out her hand. "I think perhaps we got off to a rocky start.
I'm Bella Swan. Pleased to meet you, Dr. Cullen."

- 21 -

Gratefully, I reached out and clasped her small hand in my much larger one,

squeezing gently. "Pleased to meet you as well, Ms. Swan. I have heard so many
great things about your daycare. But please, call me Edward."

Her smile was brilliant. "Thank you. You can call me Ms. Swan."

My hand stopped shaking hers and I looked at her in shocked surprise. She was

rejecting my offer of friendship?

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding when she winked. "Gotcha. Call me

Bella."

I grinned at her and was surprised to see her cheeks color softly. "Bella, it is," I

agreed with a chuckle.

"I brought us coffee and a snack," she smiled as she withdrew her hand; I hadn't

realized I was still holding it. "If you have decided you would like Emma to come
here, then maybe we can talk?"

I nodded. "Let me apologize, first. In no way was I trying to insult you. My mother

had told me what an amazing woman ran this place. I was expecting someone, um,
someone…" my voice trailed off.

Bella smiled. "A grandmotherly sort perhaps?"

I nodded. "Yes. I didn't expect … well I didn't expect you. But, I didn't mean to

insult you. I was terribly rude, and I'm truly sorry, Bella." I held up her resume.
"Obviously, you are more than qualified to look after my daughter and my mother
was very taken with you. I trust her judgement implicitly."

She sat down and offered me a coffee. I took it gratefully, pleased to have

something to do other than continue to run my mouth off. I took a sip and smiled.
"It's perfect. How did you know?"

Bella laughed as she offered me a cookie from the plate. "Your mother commented

on the fact I took my coffee the same way you did on one of the days she was here. It
stuck with me for some reason."

"She was here more than once?"

Bella nodded as she sipped her own coffee.

- 22 -

"She came six times. She would drop in to see the different activities we do, and

no doubt, to make sure this was the right place for her granddaughter."

"I'm sorry if that seems overzealous," I started, my eyes meeting hers imploringly.

Because I knew how my mother's protectiveness could come across…especially to a
stranger. After what Emma had gone through she was even more zealous.

Bella held up her hand. "No. I wish other parents and grandparents took that

much time checking out where they placed their children. Children are too valuable
to rush a decision as important as their daily care and wellbeing. So, whether it's
here or another facility she chose, I was pleased to see her. She's a lovely woman,
Edward, and wants to come in and volunteer, did she tell you that?"

I paused from taking another bite of the delicious cookie I was eating. "She did," I

answered shortly, before practically shoving the entire cookie in my mouth. "These
are amazing," I mumbled around the mouthful.

Bella laughed. "All made here. In fact, I made those ones myself, just this

morning."

I eyed the plate with hungry eyes. "They're still warm," I said with a hint of

longing in my voice. My mother cooked very well, but baking was not her forte. And
Tanya never baked anything. She rarely even cooked.

Bella leaned forward, picked up a cookie and offered it to me, silently. Grinning, I

took it from her hand. Our hands brushed lightly, and I smiled as I felt the warmth
and softness of her skin. Her gaze was so kind as she looked at me and I felt myself
relax; no wonder the children were so happy here, Bella had a special way about
her.

She sat back returning my grin. "Now, tell me about Emma."

Thats better. Right?

One more later this week.

- 23 -

Chapter 5

Your response to this has been truly humbling. Thank you.

So Bella and Edward have gotten back on even ground. Let's see what is

next, shall we?

I took in a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, I saw she was looking at me

patiently, her gaze soft with understanding, as she waited for my answer.

"Emma doesn't talk. At all."

"Has she ever?"

"Yes," I sighed quietly, remembering her sweet little voice.

Bella's voice was gentle. "What happened?"

"She … she experienced a trauma," I said haltingly.

"Physical?"

I shook my head. "No."

"I assume she has been examined? Seen by a specialist?"

I became irritated. What kind of a father did she think I was? "Of course she has."

"Relax, Edward. I'm simply asking; I just want to understand. What was the

prognosis?" Her voice remained kind.

I drew in a deep breath, forcing myself to unwind. Of course, she was just asking.

That was her job. "I didn't get one. Physically, there is nothing wrong with her. But,
nothing anyone has done can get her to talk. Everything we've tried has failed to get
her to communicate vocally."

I looked at her. "She's been to countless doctors, psychologists, specialists ...

nothing."

Looking away for a moment, I tried to gather my thoughts, and reign in my

- 24 -

emotions.

"I decided to move closer to my parents; I thought maybe a fresh start might help.

And, suddenly being a single father, I thought we needed family around us."

"Could that be part of the problem? What about her mother? Is it possible she is

missing her so much she has stopped talking? Maybe taking her away from her
mother wasn't a good idea?" she asked gently.

I stood up, pacing, my hands pulling through my hair, reminding myself that she

didn't know the story. Of course children need their mother. She didn't know why
Emma had stopped talking.

I stopped and looked at her. "I highly doubt it, Bella. My ex-wife is the reason she

doesn't talk."

Bella sat back abruptly, her eyes wide in shock.

"Excuse me? I thought… I thought you said there was no physical trauma?" I could

hear the horror in her voice.

I sat down heavily. I didn't want to tell her what had occurred, but I didn't see any

other recourse. And, strangely enough, I knew I could trust her. Without getting into
all the details, I told her what Emma had overheard.

Bella lowered her eyes as I told her and I watched her head shake.

When she lifted her head and met my gaze, I was startled to see tears glistening in

her eyes.

She leaned over, grasping my hand that was fidgeting with the seam of my pants.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to push so hard or make you disclose something
so personal."

Without thinking, I picked up her hand and wrapped it in both of my larger ones,

finding surprising comfort in the small act. "I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just
very painful to talk about."

Her other hand came up and placed itself on top of mine, squeezing caringly.

"Of course it is. I understand. So, she hasn't spoken since … that night?"

- 25 -

I shook my head, shocked to feel my own eyes welling up. I cleared my throat and

took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Oh, Edward; how awful for both of you." Her hands tightened in silent sympathy.

I looked down, surprised that our hands were still entwined. "I hope you let Emma
come here. I, we, would love to have her here. Let us help you try and heal her."

I looked away, nodding, embarrassed at how emotional I had become, speaking to

this woman I barely knew. A box of Kleenex appeared in front of me on the desk and
Bella stood up, excusing herself tactfully. I was grateful for the moment to get
myself together and I suspected she knew I needed it. When she returned she was
carrying a plate of sandwiches, as well as some more cookies.

She smiled kindly at me. "I brought us lunch. I thought we could eat as I show you

some of the activities and structures we have here. And then, if you decide to enroll
Emma here, I'll show you around and introduce to you everyone. Afterwards, we can
take care of the necessary paperwork."

I marvelled at her kindness. I swallowed, and cleared my throat, before I could

speak. "I'm not taking you away from your work?"

She shook her head. "No, I have lots of staff. I just can't resist being out there with

the children as often as possible." She grinned. "I'm afraid my indulgence of playing
with them so much makes for many late nights of paperwork." She shrugged. "But,
it's so worth it." She paused and then smiled at me. "Children are so precious and
they need to know how special they are to us and our lives. Watching them, being
with them, is a gift. It's a privilege to care for them."

I watched the delight on her face as she spoke about her little charges. This is

what Emma needed, someone who cared about her wellbeing. "Bella? I've already
decided. I would very much like for her to come here. Could I bring her in one day to
meet you?"

Bella nodded and smiled. "That was going to be my next suggestion. I would love

to meet her. Esme showed me pictures. She is adorable, Edward."

She leaned forward. "Tell me a little about her… before this happened."

I smiled as I described my little girl. I talked about her love of pink and purple, her

infectious, wonderful giggle and her non-stop questions. I chuckled as I described
her favorite floppy bunny she refused to share with anyone. How much I loved
reading to her before she fell asleep and the way she laughed at my attempts of

- 26 -

doing the voices of the characters in the stories. How it made me feel when she
called me Daddy and kissed me goodnight. How I felt when I held her in my arms on
the nights I would carry her up to bed after late-night snacks in the kitchen when
Tanya was out. How utterly wonderful and perfect she was. And, how I missed her.

Bella smiled at me, tears glistening in her eyes once again. "She is lucky to have

you as her daddy, Edward. You love her deeply."

I nodded. "She's everything to me. I miss my little chatterbox."

"Then, let's work together and see if we can bring her back, okay?"

I nodded, once again overcome. "Thank you, Bella," I said quietly.

She handed me a plate and picked up her own sandwich to eat. I looked at her

curiously, my heart beating rapidly.

What was it about this woman that made me feel like I could express my emotions

and thoughts, so openly?

And why did I know, without a doubt, she would keep them both safe?

Hmmm... rapid heartbeats. Wonder what that means?

- 27 -

Chapter 6

Hello and happy Monday to all. Thank you all for your support of this fic.

It is greatly appreciated.

The next day I watched as Bella walked around the daycare with Emma, often

stooping down to her eye level and talking with her quietly. Emma's head nodded
occasionally, her curls bouncing, and a few times her head shook when Bella asked
her a question, but she didn't speak.

Internally, I groaned. Did I really think we would walk into the bright, happy place

and Emma would instantly start talking again? That somehow she would feel the
same caring attitude from Bella as I did and suddenly know it was okay to talk? I
shook my head.

I knew better.

Yet, somehow, I had still hoped.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and watched Bella walking back towards me. I

didn't fail to notice Emma's hand was now tightly clasped in Bella's, and her little
face glowed in happiness. My heart clenched at seeing that expression. She so
rarely showed that sort of emotion anymore, but fifteen minutes with Bella and she
was beaming. Bending down, I opened my arms and scooped Emma up, raining
kisses on her little cheeks. Her face crinkled in amusement, but she made no sound.
Her little hand came up and softly patted my cheek as I settled her against my chest.
"What do you think, Babygirl? Would you like to come here while Daddy's at work?"
I asked gently.

I smiled at her decisive nod of assent. "Well, there's your answer, Miss Bella," I

smiled down at her. Today, her hair was in two braids, her face free of makeup, and
she looked just as young as she did when I walked in here yesterday. "I think you
have a new student."

"Learner Bee."

"Excuse me?"

"We call our children Learner Bee's," she smiled.

- 28 -

I grinned down at Emma. "Hear that Babygirl, you're a Learner Bee, now!"

I smiled as I watched her little nose wrinkle in amusement, so wishing to hear the

answering giggle that used to accompany the gesture.

I looked up and saw Bella watching us with a sad smile. Her gaze met mine and I

saw the depth of her compassion as she gazed back at me. I smiled at her and
shrugged my shoulders, silently telling her thank you and we were okay.

She smiled and stepped forward. "I really look forward to seeing you on Monday,

Emma. You be a good girl for your daddy 'til then, okay?"

Emma's curls bounced as she nodded.

I smiled at Bella. "See you Monday. And thank you, Bella."

She winked at us and returned to her other little Learner Bees.

But, not before her hand had reached up and squeezed my shoulder in silent

support.

I felt her touch for hours after we left the daycare, its lingering warmth strangely

comforting.

The next two weeks were filled with busy, hectic days. We moved into the house

and were slowly getting settled. My days were full of new people, new patients and
co-workers, and adjusting to the layout and workings of a new hospital. Being the
low man on the totem pole I got all the new cases and patients as well as all the
unwanted repeat patients. At first, I was not only working in the clinic, but I had
shifts in the ER as well. Once I had established myself, I would be able to pull back
some and start the process of beginning my own practice which was my goal in
coming here. So, I put my head down and worked hard, knowing I had to earn the
trust and respect of those around me. My first day, I met fellow doctor, Jacob Black,
who worked the same rotations as I did, at least for now. He proved to be a great
help in getting me settled into the routines of the department. He was easygoing
and jovial and well-liked by all the staff, especially the nurses. Tall, dark haired and
good looking, he was obviously a staff favourite. And used that to his advantage
ruthlessly. I laughed daily at his antics. One of his flirty smiles had the nurses taking
tasks off his hands, instantly. None were immune to his charms. He also got me
enlisted into the hospital gym, which had a waiting list, the same day.

- 29 -

Slowly, our life began to find a pattern. Every morning I would take Emma to the

Busy Bees Daycare and leave her in Bella's care. Some days my mom would be there
to greet us as well, but, without fail it was Bella's smile that greeted us when we
came through the doors. And, from the first day and onwards, Emma let go of my
hand and reached out to Bella's as soon as we walked in the door. Without fail,
Bella's hand was always ready to take it. After a few days, I was lucky to get a buzz
on the cheek, but seeing the happiness on Emma's face, I wasn't able to find it in
myself to be upset. I tried to come to the daycare every few days and have lunch
with Emma, and the days I was able to make it, I was always warmly welcomed by
the staff and Bella. Other parents were there as well, but, I noticed happily, they
never ate with Bella in her office. I knew she was going out of her way to make us
both comfortable, and I was grateful for that.

Other days, I would work out with Jake at the gym and grab something before

getting back to the grind of the afternoon. My favourite time of day was when I
would pick Emma up. I was usually the last one to pick up their child and I always
found Bella and Emma in her office. Sometimes Emma would be coloring or playing
while Bella worked, but other times I would find Bella reading or talking quietly to
Emma. A few times I was able to observe them unobtrusively and my heart swelled
as I watched them together. This was exactly what Emma needed. What we both
needed; a safe loving environment. And, the care from a lovely girl who I was
pleased to think of as a friend to both of us. Everything in me knew that somehow,
someway, we were going to get Emma to talk again.

Tonight, I found myself standing in the doorway grinning down at the two of them

sitting in a beanbag chair, while Bella read to Emma. I was later than normal due to
an emergency and Bella had been gracious enough to stay with Emma and let me
come get her, rather than my mother come and pick her up, as I had offered. It was
Bella that answered the phone earlier when I called to let the centre know Esme
would pick up Emma instead of me. Bella had kindly offered to keep Emma until I
got there, saying she had plenty of paperwork to do and had planned on staying
later anyway.

I cleared my throat softly and grinned as I watched their heads lift in unison. They

both smiled at me and I smiled back tiredly. It had been a long week and I was
looking forward to going home for the weekend. Luckily, my turn to be on call
wasn't for another week.

"We're just about finished, Edward. Do you mind waiting? Or should we finish this

next week?" Bella asked softly, observing me.

I shook my head and walked over, lowering myself into another beanbag chair

- 30 -

beside them, albeit awkwardly. "Finish up," I grinned.

She looked down at Emma. "You should thank Daddy," she said encouragingly.

Emma looked at me and raised her hand to her chin and motioned thank you in

sign language.

My breath caught in my throat. It was silent, but she had just communicated with

me. My eyes flew to Bella, who was smiling kindly at me.

"We have a new Learner Bee," she explained quietly. "Angela is partially deaf and

communicates with sign language, and reads lips. One of the teachers is trained and
is showing everyone some basic signs to make sure Angela can be comfortable here
and communicate with her new friends. We're all going to learn together, aren't we,
Emma?"

Emma nodded smiling up at Bella.

I nodded, still stunned. We had tried showing Emma some sign language and she

had shutdown instantly. I had, in fact, continued to study it, hoping one day it might
provide a way of communicating with Emma. But, she had never shown any interest
in responding. Yet, she accepted it coming from Bella. Which meant only one thing,
she felt safe here and with Bella.

Bella leaned down and whispered something to Emma. I watched Emma stand up

and cross the short distance to my bean chair. I smiled at her, still fighting the
emotion of the small gesture. Her little hands moved again.

I love you Daddy, she signed.

I surged forward, engulfing her tiny frame in my arms, pulling her to my chest.

Her little arms were around my neck and I buried my face in her curls, desperately
trying to hold in the tears that were beginning to roll down my face.

"I love you, too, Babygirl," I managed to whisper. I knew I had to control my

reactions to Emma's progress. I had to be positive and encouraging, but I didn't
want to push her or add any pressure. Yet, this was monumental to me. To us.

I looked over at Bella who was watching us, her own tears glimmering in her eyes.

"Thank you," I mouthed silently.

- 31 -

She smiled at me and my breath caught once again at the look of warmth on her

face. For a moment, I felt like I was basking in the sun as she gazed at us.

I settled Emma on my knee. "We should let Miss Bella finish her story now, right?"

Emma nodded and laid her little head on my chest. We both looked expectantly at

Bella.

Bella shook her head slightly, and cleared her throat. She opened up the book and

started to read again.

I shut my eyes, listening to her warm, pleasant voice.

I didn't know how she did it, but this place, and Bella…, Bella made Emma feel

safe.

And somehow she made me feel safe as well.

Ah, our Bella. I think perhaps what they both need.

Out of... is up for fic of the week on the lemonade stand. Would you

considering voting? Voting closes Tuesday.

tehlemonadestand dot net

Thank you . See you Thursday.

- 32 -

Chapter 7

Wow. Out of the Mouths of Babes placed third on the Lemonade Stand.

900 reviews for 6 chapters. 350 group members on facebook. Snowbound is
still leading for fic of the month. Banner day so I thought I would say thank
you with an early posting. You know how I roll.

Thank you all so much for loving this. Words can't express what I am

feeling.

My eyes snapped open. Disoriented, I looked around.

I was sitting in a beanbag chair, alone, in Bella's office. I shook my head in

confusion. The last thing I remember, I was sitting here listening to Bella read
Emma a story. I also remember thinking how soothing her voice was.

I groaned. Obviously, I had fallen asleep.

Shit.

Where was Emma? Or Bella?

The beanbag chair didn't want to let go and as I struggled to my feet, I quickly

learned a new lesson; these chairs are not meant for someone my size to nap in. One
of my legs was rather numb. It felt like rubber as I hobbled to the door and spied
Bella in the kitchen. Emma was sitting on the counter. She was listening intently as
Bella talked quietly to her.

I walked towards them quickly, but tripped over my own feet as I tried moving

faster than my still sleepy brain and numb leg could process. Both heads turned in
my direction and I watched from my new position, flat on the floor, as Bella
struggled not to laugh and Emma's nose wrinkled in amusement.

Overcome with embarrassment, I shut my eyes. First I cry, then fall asleep, and

now I trip in front of Bella ... all in the span of an hour. I could only imagine what
she thought of me. Cracking an eye open, I found her in front of me, her hand
extended forward, and a teasing grin on her face. "That's one way to make an
entrance, Edward."

I couldn't help my answering grin. "You should see how coordinated I am first

- 33 -

thing in the morning," I assured her. "It's quite something."

A warm blush stole up her neck and cheeks, tingeing them a lovely shade of pink.

Unsure what I had said to cause such a reaction, I grasped her outstretched hand

and stood up quickly. The sudden warmth I felt from her gentle grasp was
unexpected and I gazed down at our clasped hands in wonder.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking up at her. "I can't believe I fell asleep. You must think

I'm an awful person, not only arriving late, but then letting you keep caring for my
daughter while I have a nap."

She shook her head. "No, I think you've had a long week and you needed a few

minutes of rest. Really, Edward you've only been asleep for about twenty minutes.
Emma and I were just having some juice and crackers. I thought she might be
hungry."

Oh, God.

Of course she was. It was past her dinner time. I had planned on stopping at the

store to get something to make for dinner, but now it was way too late for that.

I looked at Bella and without another thought I spoke up. "We're going for pizza,

Bella. Please, come with us?"

She looked at me. "I don't want to intrude on your dinner, Edward," she said

quietly.

Shaking my head, I squeezed her hand, just now realizing I was still holding it.

"Not an intrusion, Bella. We'd both love it. Right, Babygirl?" I asked, regretfully
releasing Bella's hand and walking toward Emma, picking her up off the countertop
where she was still sitting, observing us quietly.

Emma nodded. I smiled at Bella. "See, we would both love it."

She still hesitated.

"Please, Bella," I asked quietly. "Let me buy you dinner. I've kept you late and no

doubt you're tired and hungry as well. Let me say thank you in this small way." My
voice dropped further. "Please."

I was thrilled when she nodded.

- 34 -

"I love pizza. I'd love to join you."

I learned a lot about Bella during dinner. For one thing, she had an unhealthy love

of all things salty. Bacon, pepperoni and Kalamata and green olives were necessities
on her pizza, she informed me seriously. And extra cheese was a must. I added red
peppers and mushrooms, only because I felt I needed to pretend to care that there
was something healthy lurking under the mountains of dripping cheese and meat. I
also ordered a salad, as well as Emma's pineapple and cheese pizza for one. We
talked and laughed and I got to know her a little more. I discovered that, like me,
she adored children, preferred red wine, anything that contained caramel, and loved
her job. Watching her face as she spoke of her little Learner Bees warmed my heart.
She loved being the "Queen Bee" as her staff called her. She loved the giggles and
questions. The silliness and mess that came with her little charges was welcome and
appreciated, not frowned on and wished away. Knowing Emma was in her care daily
simply made me smile. And despite her silence, or maybe because of it, Bella made
sure to include Emma in our conversations, encouraging the head bops and
occasional hand sign she had learned. Emma glowed the entire time, basking in her
attention. When dinner was served, I smiled as Bella automatically reached over and
cut up Emma's salad into manageable bites while I placed a slice of her pizza on her
plate. It felt as though we were working together without even trying.

After we ate far too much pizza, Bella took Emma to the ladies room to freshen up

and I sat alone, lost in my thoughts for a moment.

I couldn't remember ever going to dinner as a family with Tanya and Emma and

feeling this sense of quiet pleasure. Tanya was never relaxed enough to enjoy herself
and I always felt as if I were doing something wrong, laughing and teasing Emma
while she sat, her leg swinging impatiently, picking at her salad as we ate our pizza.
She never liked family dinners or outings of any sort; she preferred nights out
without us. In retrospect, I should have clued in a little faster to her feelings.

Bella sat back down and I smiled as she scooped Emma up and settled her on her

knee. "I ordered coffee," I informed her. "And a piece of apple crumble with extra
caramel sauce."

She groaned. "I'm going to gain five pounds from this dinner alone. I'll need to

work out even more than I was planning this weekend."

"Do you work out at the hospital?"

- 35 -

She grimaced. "I did."

I looked at her, my eyebrow arched.

"But?"

"There was a doctor there… he was rather, um, pushy. And it seemed every time I

was there, so was he. He was just so persistent. So I joined a smaller gym closer to
home."

I frowned, not liking the idea of someone bothering her. "Did you tell him to leave

you alone?"

She shrugged. "I tried. He never seemed to take any notice. A few of the other

staff members said he was just a flirt and didn't mean anything with his behavior. I
finally had to lie to him to get him to back off. But then, I felt bad, so I ended up
going to another gym. "

I felt my lips twitch. "His name wasn't Jacob Black was it?"

She stared at me. "How did you know?"

I grinned. "I work with him. And yeah, he is a terrible flirt. Decent guy, though.

I'm sure if he thought he had chased you away from the gym he'd feel awful."

She sighed. "Well, it all worked out. I am happy where I am. No big deal. I'll just

spend some extra time there to wear off the dessert you ordered."

I snorted. "Like the horrendously healthy pizza you ordered for our entrée wasn't

a factor?"

She giggled, a delightfully lovely sound and looked away. "Possibly."

I grinned. "I did my part. And, I got three spoons. It hardly counts if we're

sharing."

She laughed and leaned down, shaking her head at Emma. "Your daddy thinks he

is so funny, doesn't he?"

Emma nodded and her nose wrinkled in amusement. She yawned and snuggled

into Bella's shoulder. Bella's hand lifted up and began stroking her head softly.
"Someone is tired," she said gently.

- 36 -

I looked at my watch, shocked to see it was past eight. "I didn't realize the time," I

admitted.

She smiled in understanding. "Cancel the dessert Edward, and take her home to

bed."

I hesitated, feeling selfish, surprised to find I didn't want this evening to be over. I

shook my head. "As long as you're okay with the appendage, I'd like to stay, Bella. If
you want to?" I asked suddenly feeling nervous about how much I wanted her to
stay.

She looked down at Emma who was already slipping into sleep. Then, her eyes

looked up at me. I could see she was conflicted.

Leaning forward, I placed my hand on her arm. "No pressure, Bella," I said

quietly. "I can get the cheque."

She shook her head, a shy smile on her face. "No, Edward. I want to stay."

My smile matched hers.

It was the best thing I had heard in a long time.

We only needed two spoons for dessert. Emma slept, curled up in Bella's arms the

entire time. Bella insisted I had an unfair advantage, since she was only able to use
one hand and couldn't fight me off to get her fair share of dessert. In order to make
up for her handicap, I teasingly fed her a few extra mouthfuls, loving how she rolled
her eyes when I would move the spoon back just out of reach. When I offered her
the last bite and teased her again, drawing the spoon back, in exasperation she
covered my hand bringing the crumble to her mouth and capturing the sweet
goodness between her lips. Her eyes fluttered a little and I swore I heard a small
whimper in the back of her throat. My own eyes widened as I looked at her. She
certainly didn't look like a girl at the moment. With her neck arched and her eyes
shut, she looked desirable and completely… kissable. I pulled back the empty spoon
quickly and dropped it on the plate, grabbing my coffee to cover up my actions.

What was I thinking?

Kissable?

- 37 -

This was Emma's caregiver. Someone she was fond of and relied on. Someone I

already thought of as a friend. I couldn't risk messing that up.

Just a friend.

Beside me, Bella was regarding me quietly, drinking her own coffee, but somehow

aware the air around us had shifted.

"I should, um, get Emma home," I said quietly as I signalled for the cheque.

"Of course," she murmured.

Bella shifted in her seat and I stood up. She struggled to try and lift herself up still

holding Emma and I chuckled as I watched. Then, without a thought, I bent down
and lifted Bella to a standing position, cradling both her and Emma close to me. For
a brief moment I stood there, awash in how complete it felt to hold them both in my
arms. Blinking at the sensation, I looked down at Bella only to find her gazing back
at me with the gentlest look in her eyes. Our eyes locked and held and then my gaze
dropped to her lips, which were parted and suddenly looked so sweet and inviting. I
could feel my head bending, the longing to find out if they were as soft as they
looked overwhelming me. Beside me, a throat cleared and my head snapped up and
I stepped back, breaking the bubble we had inadvertently created around ourselves.

The waitress smiled as she handed me my credit card slip to sign. "What a lovely

family you are. So nice to see for a change. Have a great evening," she said as I
handed her the receipt.

My hand froze.

Is that what we looked like?

A family?

I shook my head and followed Bella out of the restaurant. Neither of us

acknowledged the waitress's comment.

Just a friend, I told myself again.

But, one I wanted to kiss.

I needed to get home.

- 38 -

I needed to think.

Uh oh...Edward...

- 39 -

The First Meeting BPOV

So I tried for hours to write the final chater of this fic and simply could

not. The day has been too distracting. So instead I wrote this- Bella's POV
when Edward first comes to the daycare. Nobody had preread. It is not
beta'd. All mistakes... and I am sure there are many... are mine.

There are 36 chapters in total.. I write way ahead so relax there is lots to

go in this story.

I hope you enjoy.

See you next week.

The door sounded its open alarm and I looked up from laughing with the children

at Beth, over her infamous elephant impression. The children loved this game of
animals and their noises and I could never resist taking part when we played it. A
tall, dark haired man entered the door, standing quietly as he gazed around. My first
impression was one of him being over-whelmed. He seemed almost dazed as he took
in the room and I found myself glancing around wondering what it was he saw that
made him feel like that. He smiled sadly towards the group of us laughing and
something about his smile made my throat tighten. It spoke of pain.

I stood up and made my way over to him. All the children were accounted for and I

wasn't expecting any appointments. As I drew closer, I saw he had a new hospital
badge stuck in his jacket pocket. Perhaps he was a new employee looking for
daycare. I took in his dark unruly hair and the breadth of his shoulders before
focusing on his face, my breath catching slightly. His eyes were like the pure, bluest
sky on a hot summer's day. They were startlingly clear and vivid; yet his were filled
with pain and so tired looking. I could sense his exhaustion from where I stood. "Can
I help you?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "I'm looking for the person in charge. Ms. Swan, I believe."

Yep. New employee.

"Yes?"

He stared at me blankly. "I would like to speak with her, if she's here."

- 40 -

I tilted my head to the side to draw his eyes to the name badge that said Bella

Swan on it that one of the children had made for me this morning. It was hard to
miss since it was covered in glitter. I smiled at him. "You are."

He shook his head. "Edward Cullen. Look, I don't have an appointment but if it's

possible I would like to see her for a moment if she can spare the time."

I frowned at him. Was he all there? I hadn't asked him his name.

Then the name suddenly hit me. Edward Cullen, as in Esme Cullen's son. The kind,

wonderful woman who had been here several times, trying to help her son find the
right daycare for his mute daughter. This was him? The way she had described him I
thought he was far older. And less good looking. I guessed him to be only about five
years older than I was.

"Could you get her for me, please? I would like to speak with her," he asked

slowly, although I could hear a slight impatient tone to his voice. He obviously
hadn't listened or read my name tag, and now he seemed to think I was stupid.

I stepped forward, proffering my hand.

"You are." I repeated deliberately.

He blinked and looked at me. "I am what?"

I had to bite my lip to stop myself chuckling. He was so distracted that he wasn't

catching on; obviously he had a lot on his mind. And this meeting was beginning to
resemble a comedy skit.

"Let me rephrase that Mr. Cullen. You are speaking to Ms. Swan. That's me. I am

Bella Swan."

He stared at me in shock.

Why was he looking at me like that?

When he spoke his voice was horrified. "You run the daycare? I'm supposed to

entrust my Emma to a girl?"

Instantly I was angered. I had dealt with a lot of men just like him before.

Assuming because I was a younger woman, I was incapable of handling so much
responsibility.

- 41 -

How dare he?

"I assure you, Mr. Cullen, I am no girl," I hissed, narrowing my eyes. "I am the

owner and Director of this day care."

He stepped back, startled. Apparently, he hadn't meant to express his thoughts

out loud.

"It's Dr. Cullen," he corrected me weakly, his voice less judgemental.

"Well, Dr. Cullen, if you would like to discuss Emma's care, please follow me to my

office. Or, if you have already made up your mind that I'm not qualified, due to my
supposed lack of age, you know where the door is. Suit yourself."

I turned and made my way over to Beth, telling her to carry on and then went into

my office. I didn't bother to see if he was following me. Angrily, I brought up my
resume and hit print. Looking up, I saw Dr. Cullen come in and sit down in front of
my desk. Now he not only looked tired, but uncomfortable. Standing up, I handed
him the printed pages.

"I need to go and make sure lunch is being organized for the children. I will leave

you with this and we can discuss it when I return." I walked towards the door. "Or
not,if you prefer, Doctor," I added before leaving.

I made my way into the kitchen and stood with my hands clenched on the counter.

I took in a few deep breaths to calm myself. I went over our conversation in my head
and began to feel badly.

I had seen he was tired. As soon as I realized how distracted he was I should have

been clearer with him. Sighing, I reached up and removed the glittery name tag,
sitting it on the counter. My lips twitched. I knew it said Bella Swan, but to someone
else it might not be so clear.

Beth came into the kitchen. "Who's the hottie?"

I groaned. "Dr. Cullen."

"Wow, really?"

I nodded. "I was just so rude to him, Beth. I blew it."

"You? Rude?"

- 42 -

I shook my head. "He said something about my age and I told him off."

Beth chuckled. "I've told you before Bella, you're very young looking. Especially in

that getup. You need to stop being so sensitive about it."

"You're right. Too late now, though. I think I may have made him change his mind

about bringing his daughter here."

Beth leaned over and pulled a platter of sandwiches out of the refrigerator. "Well,

he's still here. That says something. Take him some coffee and go apologize. You can
be the bigger person." She winked. "You're multi-talented Bella. You can piss people
off and you can apologize. I have faith in you."

I chuckled, knowing she was right. I grabbed a couple of mugs and poured the

coffee. I remember his mom telling me I took my coffee the same way Edward did,
so I added lots of cream and a pinch of sugar to both cups. Then for good measure, I
added a plate of the fresh cookies I had made this morning to the tray. Maybe I
could worm my way back into his good graces with sweets. After making sure Beth
had a handle on lunch for everyone, I made my way back to my office. I stopped at
the door, observing him quietly. He was reading some of the letters I had framed on
the wall, his hand resting on the back on his neck absently rubbing the hair that lay
over his collar. I couldn't help notice that his fingers were incredibly long and
tapered as they gracefully moved through his messy hair. Sadly, I also noticed that
his shoulders were slumped and suddenly I felt a rush of protectiveness for this
man. He seemed so lost standing there, like he could use a friend.

I straightened my shoulders. I could do this. I would apologize and maybe we

could start again.

Because for some unknown reason, being Edward Cullen's friend, was very

important to me.

- 43 -

Chapter 9

So we will now return to where we left off. Edward is confused.

Many thanks to Liz and Midnight for their help with this.

Thank YOU for reading and your kind words of encouragement. They mean

so much.

When we arrived at the car, I reached around Bella, opening the door. "I can take

her," I offered as I raised my arms to lift Emma away from her. Bella laughed softly.

"I'm a pro at this, Edward. I swear I can do it with my eyes closed."

I watched in awe as she leaned down, tucked Emma into the car seat without

disturbing her, and had her belted in faster than I could do on my best day. My heart
also noticed how she softly caressed Emma's hair and leant down to kiss her
forehead before standing up and shutting the door. She smiled. "Told ya," she
grinned. Her smile was breathtaking.

Without thinking, I grinned back and stepped forward, lifting my arms, effectively

pinning her against the side of vehicle. I stared down at her. "Think you're pretty
clever there, Ms. Swan?"

She nodded, gazing up at me. She was biting her bottom lip and I lifted my hand,

using my thumb to pull the soft flesh free. "Don't do that," I whispered, feeling the
air around us shift again, becoming warmer and charged. In an instant, I forgot why
being this close to her was a bad idea.

"I don't mean to," she breathed. "I only do it when I'm nervous."

"Why are you nervous, Bella?" I asked quietly, my eyes suddenly intent on her lips.

I watched her throat flex as she swallowed. "Because I think you're going to kiss

me."

My eyes flew up to hers briefly before I nodded. "You're right." Slowly, I lowered

my head and captured her pliant mouth with mine, ignoring her breathless gasp.

Warmth. A warmth I'd never experienced before tore through me as I kissed her.

- 44 -

A small groan escaped my mouth as my hand found the back of her head, tilting her
face so I could deepen the kiss. Slowly, I felt her lips part and my tongue slipped
into her mouth, tasting her fully for the first time. My other hand left the car and I
wrapped my arm around her waist pulling her closer to me. Her arms wound around
my neck, one plunging into my hair holding me close, as her fingers caressed
through the strands wildly. We both groaned as our tongues slid together, exploring
and savouring each other. Time seemed to stand still as we stood there, lost in each
other, my need for her only deepening the longer we were entwined, until a shout
from behind us startled us apart.

"Hey, get a room!"

I stood up abruptly, panting, looking down at Bella, whose eyes were suddenly

looking anywhere but at me. Her hand rested against my chest and I lifted mine to
cover it. I wanted to kiss her again, to hold her close, but I felt the stiffening of her
posture. Frowning, I squeezed her hand, silently imploring her to look at me. I
needed to see her eyes; I needed her to look at me.

But her hand suddenly pushed against my chest. "I have to go, Edward. I'm sorry."

Her voice was panicked and I stepped back from her, confused, but not wanting to
frighten her. Quickly, she pushed away from me and walked over to her truck,
clambering in and shutting the door quickly. I turned, watching, as she revved the
engine, and proceeded to drive away without even doing up her seatbelt. Or, looking
my way again.

I stood there, blinking, aroused, confused and suddenly aware of what I had just

done.

Fuck. I had just overstepped.

I looked down into the back seat where Emma slept. I shook my head. Had I just

cost my little girl her safe haven?

I walked to the driver's side and slide in the car. My head slumped down onto my

chest.

What had I just done?

The entire weekend I struggled. Struggled and failed not to think about how it felt

to kiss Bella. How right it felt to have her in my arms. How well she fit against me.

- 45 -

How sweet she tasted. I struggled to not call her. I lost count how many times I
picked up my cell phone to call the contact number she gave all the parents in case
of an emergency. I knew she would pick up and I could hear her voice. Maybe I
could convince her to let me come and see her and talk to her about what happened.
I wanted to know why she left. How she was feeling. What she was thinking. But
every time I tried, I failed. I was too scared to hear the words I was sure she would
say.

Mistake.

Momentary lapse of judgement.

Never again.

I shook my head. How could one evening, one kiss, change everything? How could

I suddenly feel so much for a woman I barely knew? I certainly never thought I
would feel anything for someone after the Tanya disaster; especially not this soon.
Yet, no matter what I did, she came to the forefront of my thoughts. I thought of her
sweet smile, how her eyes lit up when she spoke about something she felt
passionate about. How caring she was with Emma. How she took care of me with
her quiet little gestures. And invariably my mind went back to how it felt to kiss her,
to hold her close. The warmth that had spread through my body like tiny little
flames, licking my veins and burning through me when I had first touched her lips
with mine. Then, reality would set in and I would remember how she had run from
me in the parking lot.

So, I spent the weekend trying not to think about her and immersed myself in

Emma. I showed her a few more words to sign, we went to the park, we watched
cartoons, and I made her pancakes for breakfast. My parents came over and Dad
and I built her swing set, while she and Mom finished unpacking her room. I ate too
many hamburgers off the new grill, trying not to wonder if Bella would enjoy them
as well, or, if she ever got a chance to barbeque since she lived in an apartment. I
laughed too much over the most inane things, especially some of Emma's little
quirks, and thought repeatedly how much Bella would have laughed as well and
wished she was here to enjoy them with me. More than once I saw my parents
exchange a look, but was grateful neither of them commented on my behavior.
Everything I did or thought seemed to bring me back to Bella.

Monday morning I stood outside the daycare, clutching Emma's hand, my nerves

taut with tension. How would Bella act today? Would she still be friendly? Would she
want to talk? I held my breath as we walked through the doors and my eyes scanned
the room for her. I didn't see her and I looked towards her office. The door was shut.

- 46 -

I frowned.

"Hello, Dr. Cullen," Jessica smiled as she came forward. "Morning, Emma! Are you

ready for another good day?" she inquired brightly and held out her hand.

Both Emma and I seemed frozen on the spot. Emma just stared at Jessica's hand

before looking up at me, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Where is Bella?" I
asked quietly.

"Oh, she has a touch of the flu and didn't want to bring it into the centre," she

smiled. "She'll be back in a couple days."

"Has she seen a doctor?"

Jessica looked at me. "I don't know. I was just given the information by Beth. I'm

sure she'll be fine."

I leaned down and smiled reassuringly at Emma. "Miss Bella will be back soon,

sweetheart. You go with Miss Jessica and have a good day, okay? Daddy will pick
you up this afternoon."

She nodded and hesitantly gave her hand to Jessica who led her further into the

daycare. I saw Beth and went over to her. "I hear Bella is unwell. Um, anything I can
do to help?"

She smiled brightly at me. "No, she thinks it's just a bug. She expects to be back

tomorrow or Wednesday."

I frowned. "Can you tell her I'd be happy to see her at the clinic if she needs me

to? Or, I could go to her place?"

"That is kind of you, Dr. Cullen. I will tell her. She must be feeling pretty badly."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "I've been here three years. I've never known her to take a sick-day

before." And then she turned to greet another parent as they came in.

I made my way to the hospital slowly, now feeling tense and anxious.

Was she ill? Or had I caused this sudden absence with questionable my behavior

on Friday night?

- 47 -

And, more importantly, how was I going to find out?

Hmmm... and now he is more confused.

- 48 -

Chapter 10

Your update a day early...Snowbound placed first in the completed fics of

the Month. Thanks so much for voting! And as usual... you are rewarded the
only way I know how...

Enjoy!

She wasn't there Monday night when I picked up Emma. Nor was she there when

we arrived Tuesday morning. I purposely dropped by at lunch later in the day but
Bella still was absent. I had tried phoning the number I had, but it went straight to
voice mail. I left a brief message telling her I was sorry to hear she was ill, I was
worried about her and wanted to help if I could, but she never called me back.
Emma seemed fine still at the daycare which proved how great the staff she had
around her were, but I could tell she missed Bella. I had assured her Bella would be
back in a couple days once she was no longer sick and she had simply nodded at me
and returned to her coloring after dinner on Monday night. But I continued to worry
about Bella. I knew if she didn't return shortly I was going to have to go and find her
and make sure she was okay. I couldn't handle the thought of her being ill and
alone. Or upset.

I was beginning to think, without a doubt, it was my actions of Friday night that

were keeping her away from her beloved daycare and not the flu. While I was eating
lunch with Emma on Tuesday, I informed Beth that due to some appointments, it
would be my mother bringing Emma in tomorrow and Thursday, as well as picking
her up. I knew that message would get back to Bella and I wanted to know if she
would come back to work if she thought I wouldn't be there. My suspicions were
confirmed the next night over dinner with my parents. Bella had returned to the
daycare. When I casually asked how she was, Mom said she looked tired and seemed
slightly withdrawn, but otherwise fine.

"Do you still need me to take her tomorrow?" she asked

I nodded my assent, an idea forming in my head. "Are you volunteering again?"

"Yes, I can do the morning. And I have no problem picking her up for you later as

well. I just have an appointment I need to be at in the afternoon, but I can still get
her for you afterwards."

"Do you think you could bring Emma back here again? I, um, have something I

- 49 -

need to take care of tomorrow after work? I'll pick her up later?"

She smiled. "Not a problem. Will you be here for supper?"

I hesitated. "I'm not sure."

She shrugged. "No worries. We'll have supper and when you get here, you get

here." She paused. "Is it anything I can help you with?"

I shook my head. "Thanks Mom, but it's something that I need to do myself." I said

quietly. I had to fix this. If Bella thought she was going to avoid me forever, she was
wrong. I would be taking care of something tomorrow all right.

Fixing my own mess with Bella.

I smiled at Mrs. Jeffries as she came out of the daycare with Sandy, holding the

door for her. Nervously, I stepped into the daycare, catching the door before it shut
behind me and allowing it to shut quietly into place. I looked around and was
pleased to see it was deserted. Bella's office door was open and I could hear the soft
clicks of the keyboard as she typed away. I straightened my shoulders and quietly
made my way to her door. I stood for a minute looking at her as she worked away,
oblivious to my presence. She looked paler than normal and like my mom had
mentioned, tired. But, otherwise, she seemed fine as I quickly assessed her. Not
wanting to scare her, I lifted my hand and softly rapped on the door frame as I spoke
her name.

Bella's head snapped up and her eyes widened when she realized who was

standing there. Any lingering doubts that the reason she had been away from the
daycare were because of me were answered instantly when I saw her eyes panic and
then drop quickly, breaking my gaze. "Edward… ah, your mother was already here
and took Emma home. Did we misunderstand the instructions?" she asked, her voice
shaking a little.

I pushed off the door frame and walked towards her desk. "No, Bella. I know my

mom has Emma."

I watched her hands curl around the edge of the desk, gripping it so tightly her

knuckles were white. "Why are you here then?" she whispered, the tremor in her
voice even more pronounced.

- 50 -

I sat down in the chair trying to appear relaxed. "I was worried when I heard you

had been ill. I wanted to check on you, myself."

"Oh."

That one little word said volumes. I wanted to ask her if she had anyone else to

check on her. I wanted to ask her if she had someone to look after her. But I didn't.
"Are you feeling better now?" I asked cautiously, gently prodding her to talk to me.

She looked at me and the sadness I saw in her eyes, which were usually so full of

joy, made my heart clench. Had I done that? Had I put that sadness there?

"I'm fine, Edward. Please don't worry."

"Did you see a doctor, Bella?"

She sighed. "No, Edward. There was no need to see a doctor for a touch of the

flu."

"Are you sure that is what it was? You still look drawn," I insisted quietly. "I can

get a colleague to examine you. Assuming, of course, you wouldn't be comfortable
with me doing the examining."

"What?"

I smiled grimly. "You need to trust the person who provides your health care,

Bella."

She looked at me and sighed quietly. "I do trust you, Edward. But, thank you, I

don't need a doctor."

I leaned forward, needing to address the pink elephant in the room. "What do you

need then, Bella? An apology? Do you want me to tell you how sorry I am that I
kissed you on Friday?"

Her eyes widened. "No. Unless, of course, you are sorry."

I shook my head, holding her gaze. "I'm not. Not in the least."

"Then you have nothing to apologize for." She sighed. "We kissed each other,

Edward. We got caught up in a silly moment. If anything I should apologize to you."

- 51 -

I frowned. "I'm not following you, what?"

"I'm your child's care giver. She had a breakthrough that day. You were tired,

happy, and let your guard down. I took advantage of that and let things go too far."

I snorted in disgust. "That's what you think happened? That I was reacting to

Emma's progress and just laid one on you in gratitude?"

Bella shrugged. "It doesn't matter what I think. It won't happen again."

I stood up. "It does matter, Bella. It matters because I felt something in that kiss.

And I think you felt it too."

She stood up as well, her head shaking. "No, it was just a lapse on your part. On

both our parts."

I stepped around the desk towards her, my voice gentle. "Why are you denying

this, Bella? You felt it. I know you did. I felt how you responded to me."

She backed up, hitting the wall. "I…I can't, Edward."

I stood in front of her, looking down on her trembling form. I wanted to pull her

into my arms and stop her shaking. "Can't what, Bella?"

"I can't get involved with you."

"Why?"

She didn't answer.

"Are you married?" I asked quietly.

"No!" she gasped.

"Living with someone?"

She shook her head.

"Seeing someone?"

Her no was so soft, I barely heard her.

- 52 -

"Find me hideous?"

A small smile tugged on her mouth. "No." Then she looked up at me. "I don't date,

Edward. And especially not the parents of one of my students. They would suffer
when things didn't work out. And, I can't do that to someone – especially Emma."

The pain in her eyes, when she looked at me, caused my heart to ache. But, I kept

silent, afraid that what I was thinking would scare her even further away. "It's just
the way it is for me, Edward. I'm sorry. I never should have gone to dinner with you.
I should never have kissed you. I wish I could take it all back."

My breath caught in my throat. "Don't say that, Bella. It was the best evening I've

had in a long time. Don't wish it gone."

Her head slumped. "Please, Edward. Don't make this harder than it already is for

me."

I regarded her quietly for a moment. "Where does this leave Emma?"

Her eyes flew to mine. "Nothing changes for Emma. I adore her. She belongs

here. Nothing changes, Edward, unless you take her out of the daycare."

I shook my head. "I don't want to do that, Bella. She's happy here. She feels safe.

But, I don't like the fact that my presence now makes you uncomfortable."

"We're adults, Edward. It was a mistake. Can we not just forget it and move on?

Just be friends again? For Emma's sake?" Her voice was pleading.

I stared at her. I had so many questions. Just be friends? How could someone like

her just choose to be alone? Did she not see just how amazing a woman she was;
that she had so much to offer to someone? Could she not feel this pull towards each
other? I had never experienced anything even close to it before and I didn't want to
forget about it. I wanted her in my life.

"Edward?"

I blinked and looked at her. Her eyes were filled with pleading for my

understanding.

I sighed. If nothing else, at least I could give her that.

For now.

- 53 -

I nodded. "For Emma."

Her shoulders relaxed. "Thank you."

I stepped back. "You won't avoid me again?" I asked quietly. "I didn't like not

seeing you. And Emma missed you."

She blushed, but didn't deny it. "No."

"Okay." I began walking away. When I got to the door, I turned back. "I don't want

to give up on you, or on us, Bella."

"I'm not worth it, Edward. Please," she whispered.

I shook my head. "That's where you're wrong. And somehow I'll make you see

that."

"Nothing will change."

I shrugged. "Then it's my problem. I'll see you in the morning, right?"

She nodded.

"Goodnight, Bella. Don't stay here all evening and work, please."

She smiled sadly. "Is that Dr. Cullen speaking?"

I shook my head. "No. It's someone who cares far more than a doctor, or a friend,

should." And, with those words, I left her office, ignoring the sharp intake of air I
heard behind me.

See you on the weekend...

- 54 -

Chapter 11

Happy Sunday! Here is an early update for you...just because.

Thank you for your amazing support of this fic!

Thank you to Liz and Midnight for their work on making this pretty. They

love commas and proper sentence structure. Thank Goodness.

I hoped each day would get a little easier. Instead the days got harder.

Bella made a point of being there when we arrived each day to greet Emma. Every

day she would smile and exchange pleasantries with me, as Emma reached for her
hand. Every night she would wish me a good evening after she expounded proudly
on Emma's progress with signing, or showing me a new piece of her artwork.

She was cordial, friendly, interested and polite. And… distant.

I hated it.

I hadn't realized how much I had come to depend on our small daily interactions.

And, now that I wasn't able to be part of the warmth of her actions, I missed them
even more. I wanted her to reach for my hand. I wanted her to smile at me. I wanted
to be able to sit with her and Emma in her office again and eat lunch. I wanted to
see her smile at me as she brought me a coffee made just the l way I liked it and one
of the cookies she had baked. Now, on the days when I joined Emma, I sat with her
in the main room to eat and I got my own coffee, which never tasted as good. Bella
would occasionally join us but it was never just the three of us anymore. I wanted
her to come and have pizza with us again, but when I quietly asked her at lunch, she
sadly shook her head and went into her office, shutting the door.

I was getting frustrated.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized what the strange, light feeling

that I had experienced was when I was with Bella. I felt happy. I actually felt happy.
She made me smile and laugh. Her quiet, caring nature appealed to me. She
appealed to me. I loved how she was so caring and patient with Emma. I loved all
her small thoughtful gestures. I wanted to know everything about her.

And she wasn't letting me. I wanted to get closer.

- 55 -

It had been two weeks since Bella had begged for us to just be friends. Two weeks

of seeing her every day and being just another one of the parents. I wasn't sure how
much more I could take.

And, the excitement I had felt when Emma signed at me was wearing off fast. She

still rarely communicated with her little hands other than to tell me she loved me or
to say thank you. Despite both the daycare and me teaching her more sign language,
she was still unable or unwilling to use it. Some days it felt like forever since I'd
heard her little voice, and there were many more days I despaired of ever hearing it
again.

"Hey, man," Jake slapped me on the shoulder, bringing me out of my incessant

thoughts. "You get your tux yet?"

"Yeah, I picked it up this morning."

"It's gonna be great. I love these hospital benefit dinners. Great food, free booze,

lots of pretty ladies to choose from. A chance to replenish my phone list; if you know
what I mean. Always a good time for the Jakester," he grinned, waggling his
eyebrows.

I looked at him and shook my head. I wasn't looking forward to going, but really

had been given no choice.

"Dude, what is up with you these days? You're moping around worse than a chick."

I shook my head. "Leave it alone, Jake."

He looked at me, his brow furrowed. Then his expression changed into the serious

one usually reserved for when he was with his patients. His voice became modulated
and low. "Seriously, Edward. What's going on? Something's been eating you up. Let
me help."

I looked at him, desperately wanting to talk this out with someone. Get another

perspective.

"There's a girl," I admitted.

"And?"

I sighed. "It's complicated, Jake. One minute we were friends. Then, suddenly she

became more. So much more; except, she told me that's all we can be... just friends.

- 56 -

And, I'm trying. But it's not enough. Seeing her kills me."

He pursed his lips. "Is it someone here?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Don't see her, then. Simple."

I shook my head. "It's not that simple, Jake. She is someone I see daily. In order

not to see her, I could cause damage to someone else… someone more important
than me."

His eyes widened. "The one person you put above all others is Emma. Does this

have something to do with her?"

I stood up. I didn't want to go into the details of this with Jake. It was just too

personal. "Never mind, forget I said anything."

He stood up and grabbed my arm.

"Edward. Have you gotten involved with someone at Emma's daycare?"

"I'm not involved with anyone," I insisted, sorry I had let him talk me into

speaking.

Suddenly, he sat down and rested his face in his hands. He shook his head and

then looked up at me sadly. "Dude, did you make a move on that little Swan chick?
Didn't you know?"

Fear gripped me. "Didn't I know what?"

Jake stood and laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I hate to tell you this,

Edward. But, you need to know so you can stop mooning over someone you can
never have."

I looked at him, confused.

"Edward. Bella Swan is gay."

I gaped at him.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

- 57 -

"She is gay. You are not her type. Like, ever."

I sat down heavily. Bella was gay?

Gay?

I thought back to the night by the car. She certainly didn't kiss me like she was

gay. She responded to me. I felt it. We both felt it.

I looked at him.

"You're wrong."

He shook his head.

"She told me so herself."

I stared at him in complete shock.

"Just like that? She just dropped it into a conversation that she was gay?"

He sat down shaking his head. "Edward, seriously, you need to get out more. I

asked her out. When she said no, I asked her why."

"You asked her why she was saying no? You didn't just accept no for no?"

"Dude… the chicks never say no to me. I mean, have you seen me? I am a pretty

great catch. I was curious. And, the little chick told me why. I respect her for that. I
didn't bother her anymore."

I felt my lips twitch as I suddenly remembered what Bella had said at dinner. "I

had to tell him a lie to get him to leave me alone." It all made sense now.

Trying to keep my laughter in, I bowed my head.

"Hey man, don't feel bad. I didn't pick up on it at first either. Then, after she told

me, I saw it, you know?"

I couldn't stop myself. "Saw what, exactly?"

"The jeans and the sweatshirts, never any makeup…she drives a truck. That sort

of thing."

- 58 -

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. If I opened my mouth I was going to start

laughing. Really loudly.

He stood up. "Never mind. We'll find us some prime specimens that wanna play

"doctor, I have an ache I need you to cure" on Saturday and we'll get you back up in
the saddle." He grabbed his bag from his locker. "Don't worry, dude, your little
crush is safe with me. See ya tomorrow."

I stared after him blankly for a few minutes, and then gave in. Peal after peal of

laughter came out and I didn't try and stop it.

Without even trying, Bella had just made my day better.

I walked into the daycare, still grinning. I was surprised to see it empty. Bella's

door was open and I went in, smiling as I saw Bella and Emma on the beanbag chair
reading. Unable to help myself I spoke up. "There are my two favorite girls."

Both of their heads snapped up and for one moment, Bella's face smiled as

brightly as Emma's did, before she remembered herself and looked away. I held out
my arms and Emma scrambled off Bella's lap to run towards me. Scooping her up, I
kissed her forehead. "How was your day, Babygirl? Was today a good day?"

She nodded.

Bella stood up. "You look like you had a good day yourself, Edward," she smiled

softly.

I chuckled. "It had its moments, that's for sure."

"Care to share? I could use the laugh."

I hesitated. Should I tell her? Would she be offended?

I looked at her, my eyes briefly drawn to the garment bag hanging on the rack

behind her. I could see a wisp of brilliant green peeking out of the bottom.
Inspiration struck. "Are you going to the benefit on Saturday?"

She looked startled at the question, but nodded. "Yes, I am. You?"

I nodded, as I put Emma down on her feet. "Go get your coat and backpack,

- 59 -

okay?"

I watched her leave the room. I turned back to Bella, my stomach clenching. "Do

you have a date?"

She sighed. "No, Edward, I don't."

I stepped forward. "Go with me."

"Edward, I can't…"

"As my friend. Not a date. We won't call it a date. I hate these things, Bella.

Please. Don't make me walk in there alone."

I watched the emotions flit across her face. I added an incentive. "I'll tell you what

happened today if you say yes."

She pursed her lips. "I'll go if you do something for me."

"Anything."

"We have a trip planned next week to a local farm. I need extra volunteers to

help."

"Done."

"You didn't ask what day."

I shook my head. It didn't matter. I would get someone to cover. But I smiled.

"What day, Bella?"

"Friday."

"I'm there."

She hesitated briefly and then nodded. "I'll drive myself on Saturday. We can meet

there."

I grimaced. I didn't like that. I wanted to pick her up. But I would take what I

could get.

"Okay."

- 60 -

"Now, what was so funny?"

I shook my head. "Oh, no, Ms. Swan. You think I was born yesterday? I will tell

you on Saturday. Otherwise you may stand me up."

She gasped. "I wouldn't!"

I grinned, enjoying the feeling of being able to tease her again. "Well, I'm not

going to test that theory. Saturday, Bella." I leaned down, scooping Emma back up.
"Goodnight, Bella."

She huffed. "Goodnight, Dr. Cullen."

I winked at her and walked out of the daycare feeling way better than I had when

I came in that morning.

Regardless of what I had said, I so had a date with the 'gay' Ms. Bella Swan. And, I

was going to make it count. I could hardly wait to see Jacob's face on Saturday. I
chuckled all the way to the car.

Ah.. the Jakester... made me giggle. Hope you as well ! See you later this

week!

- 61 -

Chapter 12

Early update as my work schedule changed and it was today or not til the

weekend. So here you go.

I cannot thank you enough for your support for this fic. Many thanks to

Liz and Midnight who keep me in line. KK and Sandy preread- thank you for
your efforts

I have a quiet, lovely, cheerleader in my friend Dream who has been

invaluable in keeping my spirits up lately. Thank you my friend. You mean a
great deal. Please know that.

Now... onto our non-date.

I stood close to the doorway, nervously waiting for Bella. We agreed to meet in the

bar and go upstairs together. The lobby was busy with people coming and going and
I kept scanning the crowds for Bella. I watched a small woman with long dark hair
enter the lobby and walk my way, eyeing her with appreciation before looking
around again for Bella; only to have my eyes snap back as my brain realized that the
lovely woman I had just noticed walking towards me was indeed, Bella.

Only, a Bella I had not seen before.

Holy fuck.

She was exquisite.

I stared openly at her as she made her way towards me, blushing as she saw the

way I was looking at her.

Her hair was down, rippling in dark waves that tinted red under the lights, flowing

past her shoulders. My hands clenched at the sudden desire to have my fingers bury
themselves in the thick tresses. The simplicity of her dark green dress showed off
her collarbones and shoulders and flowed out from her tiny waist like a fountain,
swirling about her calves as she walked. The color reminded me of the emerald in
my mother's favorite ring and I loved how it looked on Bella. I smiled, noticing the
tiny heels she had on her feet, remembering her lamenting about high heels not
being her friend at all. As she stopped in front of me, I could see her makeup, subtle,
yet bringing out the very best of her features, making her beautiful eyes stand out

- 62 -

and sparkle. She stood gazing up at me, her glossy bottom lip caught between her
teeth in nervousness. I wanted to kiss that lip.

Without thinking, I lifted my hand, and gently pulled her lip free. "You are beyond

beautiful tonight, Bella," I breathed warmly. "Thank you for this."

Her blush deepened and she accepted the arm I offered to her. She didn't say a

word until we got on the elevator. Turning, she leaned up into my ear as she stood
on her tip toes to reach, as I tilted my head down into her touch. "You look pretty
amazing yourself, Dr. Cullen. I like you in a tux."

I grinned down at her and unable to stop myself, kissed her forehead. "We both

clean up pretty well. You ready to brave this?"

She nodded and I dropped my hand down to hers and linked our fingers.

Immediately, I felt the strange connection I always did when I touched her. I saw
her look down at our enjoined hands, wondering if she felt it as well. She glanced up
at me. I smiled reassuringly. "Friends hold hands, Bella," I assured her. She quirked
her eyebrow at me but didn't attempt to remove her hand from mine. She turned,
facing the front of the elevator and I allowed my smile to break through.

So far it had been a great non-date.

The hall was packed. Bella and I made our way around the room, talking to

people, sometimes together, often on our own. Yet, like a beacon, I found myself
never far away from her. Her very presence kept me close. I was surprised no one
commented on our being there together, but I was grateful for that. I didn't really
want to try and explain to anyone what we were, since I wasn't exactly sure of that
myself. I know what I wanted. I still had to convince Bella of it though; and a
crowded ballroom wasn't the place to try. When we sat down to dinner I saw Jacob
do a double-take across the table at the vision beside me. Like me, it took him a
minute to actually realize it was Bella. When he did, his expression was priceless. He
stared at her briefly and then, at me. His gaze said everything.

We are so going to talk about this dude.

Bella looked up and felt his stare. She shifted uncomfortably beside me and

instinctually my arm went around her, pulling her close to my side. "He's harmless,"
I murmured into her hair and then shot him a look that said back off.

- 63 -

His eyebrows shot up so high, I almost chuckled. Luckily, one of the nurses he had

been ogling at work walked by and his focus shifted as he stood up to follow her. I
felt Bella breathe a sigh of relief. I smiled down at her and kept my arm draped
across the back of her chair.

Leaning forward, she picked up her wine. "I could use that laugh right about

now," she whispered turning to me. I hesitated, still unsure of her reaction. I leaned
over and spoke softly into her ear. "Let's just say Dr. Black is surprised to see you
here. With me."

She looked at me, confused.

"He would have expected to see you with… one of the nurses perhaps…?" I

grinned at her.

Her mouth became a small O and the blush on her cheeks made me smile.

"He told you that?" she squeaked.

I nodded silently. For a minute she didn't say anything. Then she started to giggle.

"He wouldn't leave me alone. That seemed to be the only explanation he would
accept."

I chuckled. "Jacob considers himself quite a catch. In his mind, that could be the

only reason you resisted his…obvious…charms." I waggled my eyebrows at her.

She began to laugh and I joined her, relieved she wasn't upset. Jacob returned to

the table. "What's so funny? Share the joke."

For a moment, she stopped laughing and looked at him. Then she turned, burying

her head in my shoulder, her laughter growing as she tried to hold it back. As Jacob
looked on in utter astonishment, I leaned down and kissed her head, tucking her into
the nape of my neck where she fit perfectly, enjoying her amusement as I continued
to chuckle.

Dinner was going to be fun, I thought, as I watched take his seat, shaking his

head.

Dinner was fun. Jacob amused everyone at the table with his stories and his

constant departures when he would spot yet another pretty face he had to meet.

- 64 -

Bella made me laugh more than once with her droll comments and it gave me a
chance to get to know a few of the people from the hospital a little better. After
dinner, we walked around the silent auction tables admiring some of the items up
for sale. I bid on a few of them and didn't fail to notice how Bella's eyes lingered
over a pretty pair of earrings that were there. When she was looking at another
item, I snuck back and put a bid on the earrings, high enough that I knew I would be
taking them home with me later. If she wouldn't accept them from me, they would
make an appearance as a gift from Emma to her favorite caregiver. I knew she
couldn't say no to Emma. She never suspected a thing when I slid back to her side
as she was placing a bid on a car detailing package. "Truck need a good cleaning,
Bella?" I laughed, seeing hers was the only feminine name on the bidding sheet.

She sighed. "My dad gave it to me. It's a great vehicle. Safe. Holds lots of stuff

when I buy supplies for the daycare, but I can't wash it properly. I can barely reach
the top of the doors."

I chuckled. "Happy to offer my services. I can reach the top without a problem."

She looked up at me. "I couldn't ask you to do that, Edward."

I smiled. "You didn't. I offered. We'll work out a deal."

She regarded me suspiciously. "A deal?"

I grinned and leaned down. "Maybe while I wash your truck, you could make me

some of those cookies. Emma would love it if you came and baked with her," I said
encouragingly. "I'd love that as well."

"Edward…"

I help up my hands. "Friends do favors for each other, Bella. Just saying."

She rolled her eyes. "You are pushing this friends thing a little far, aren't you?"

I grinned and gave into the longing I had felt all night. Reaching over, I tucked a

small piece of hair behind her ear, enjoying the silkiness of it. I leaned back down
close to her ear. "As far as you'll let me, Bella," I breathed quietly.

She blushed and shivered.

I smiled.

- 65 -

Perfect.

I watched people swirling and gliding around the dance floor. I had danced a few

times with some of the women from the hospital but only once with Bella. She had
held herself stiffly in my arms and excused herself immediately after. When she
returned to the table, she was quiet and when I asked her what was wrong she
simply shook her head. "I don't dance well, Edward. I don't enjoy it."

I shook my head. "You've never had the right partner, Bella. That's all."

I noticed though, how she politely refused all other offers to dance. Of which there

were many. I did manage to warn a lot of them off with the look on my face as they
approached, but, a few brave souls did make it to her side.

Now my ears perked up at the opening strains of the song I had requested. I stood

up, offering Bella my hand. Her head started to shake but I refused to be swayed.
"This song is for you, Bella. Please."

Reluctantly she gave in and placed her hand in mine. On the dance floor I pulled

her into my arms. "Relax, Bella," I whispered into her ear. "Move with me. Forget
everything else and just move with me." I felt the long shudder that went through
her as she surrendered into my embrace and we began to sway together. Softly, I
sang the words to her as we danced.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,

When the world is cold,

I will feel a glow just thinking of you

And the way you look tonight.

Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm

And your cheeks so soft,

There is nothing for me but to love you,

And the way you look tonight.

- 66 -

I could feel her heart beating against my chest as I rested my cheek on top of her

head. Silently, we danced around the room, her body growing more relaxed as she
gave into the rhythm of the music. My body sang with the feeling of how she felt
pressed up against me. Despite the difference in our height, we fit so well together.
The song ended and another started up and I kept moving. I wasn't ready to let her
go. And given the way her arms tightened around my neck, she didn't want me to let
her go.

I pulled her impossibly closer, my lips now nuzzling her fragrant hair. I heard her

soft whimper and smiled against her head as I felt her hand drift down and grab
onto my shirt. My hand glided up her back drawing small circles up and down,
needing to feel her. As we reached a quieter corner, I moved us into the shadows
and stopped. Slowly her head raised, her eyes wide and searching. My hand left her
waist and reached up to cup her cheek, gently. I held her gaze as my head lowered,
achingly slowly, desperately wanting to feel her warm lips against mine, again. I
heard her quiet voice whisper no, even as I captured her mouth with mine, but I
ignored it. I needed to kiss her. Now.

Fire exploded through my veins as I tasted her again. The room, the people, the

music, all disappeared as soon as I felt her mouth on mine. Once again it was only us
, in a warm pulsating bubble. Groaning, I moved my hand, tilting her head to the
side, deepening the kiss. I felt her sweet response and gave into the passion I was
feeling. My tongue delved and tasted, dancing tenderly with hers as we lost
ourselves to each other. I pulled her closer; her hands tightened on my neck. I
groaned into her mouth, overwhelmed by the multitude of sensations I felt. She
whimpered in answer. I needed air but refused to break away from her, too
desperate for her taste. Need, want, desire, tenderness, all raged in that kiss.
Nothing else existed in this moment but us.

A sudden drum roll effectively startled us and Bella pulled away, gasping. She

stepped out of my embrace, blinking, her shaking hand covering her swollen lips as
she stared up at me in panic. I stepped forward to draw her back to me, to reassure
her, but she stepped back again.

"Bella?" I beseeched her quietly.

I watched in horror as tears filled her eyes. "I can't…I can't do this, Edward. I'm

sorry. I'm so, so sorry!"

Before I could even respond, she spun on her heel and hurried away as quickly as

she could without actually running. I watched, stunned, as she pushed her way
through the crowd to get away from me. I saw her form disappear through the open

- 67 -

doors that led to the large patio.

I shook my head.

Not this time.

She wasn't going to shut me out.

I wasn't letting her run this time.

I followed her.

Oh dear... and things were going well.

Have faith.

See you on the weekend.

- 68 -

Chapter 13

Well you were all very vocal in what you wanted Edward to do. And you

wanted to know Bella's story...

Here you go!

I walked out onto the deserted balcony. Most of the guests were inside where the

live auction had just started. I looked around for Bella but couldn't see her. There
was a large grouping of potted trees in the one corner, and I headed that way. It
seemed the most logical place to hide. As I approached, I could hear the sounds of
soft sobbing and my heart clenched. I rounded the trees and found Bella in the
corner, crying quietly into her hands. Wordlessly, I moved forward and wrapped my
arms around her.

She stiffened, pushing against me, but I refused to let her go. "No, Bella," I

whispered fiercely. "Stop running. Talk to me."

"Just go, Edward, I'm not worth it." The pain in her voice caused my arms to

tighten around her.

"You are."

She sighed deeply, her entire frame shaking. "No, I'm not."

The complete honesty that poured through those few small words shook me.

I looked over the railing, spotting the long winding staircase that lead from the

second floor to the back garden. Beyond it was the parking lot where my car was
parked.

"Did you drive here?"

Bella's head shook.

"Good." Bending down, I lifted her up into my arms and quickly made my way over

to the stairway.

"Edward, put me down!" she hissed as she struggled to break away from my hold.

I tightened my grip and kept walking.

- 69 -

"No. Stop struggling Bella, or we'll both fall on these stairs," I said firmly.

She stopped struggling instantly, and I hurried down the steps, not wanting to be

seen. Swiftly, I cut across the back garden and into the garage. "Reach into my right
jacket pocket and grab my keys, Bella," I instructed softly as we approached my car.
I felt her hand fumble around and then heard the click as the doors unlocked. I
leaned down to open the door, and slid her onto the seat. I walked around to the
driver's side and sat down. I looked over at her hunched, trembling form. "Did you
leave anything at the table?" I asked gently.

She shook her head holding up her hand where I saw the tiny clutch attached to

her wrist. "I guess I won't be there to make sure I get my detailing package," she
said quietly.

I looked at her, smiling encouragingly. "You don't need it, Bella." Leaning over, I

grabbed her seatbelt, strapping her in place. I looked down to see her eyes watching
me warily. Gently, I nuzzled her damp cheek, pleased when she didn't pull away. "I'll
look after your truck for you from now on." Her eyes were wide when I pulled away
and started the engine.

As I turned out of the driveway she spoke up. "My apartment is to the left,

Edward."

I shook my head. "I'm not taking you home, Bella."

Her voice rose in panic. "What? I thought that was what you were doing… you

were driving me home."

I glanced sideways at her. "I'm taking you to my home. We have some talking to

do."

She sighed. "Save yourself a lot of trouble, Edward. Just take me home."

I shook my head. "Not happening."

She turned in her seat, drawing her legs up protectively to her chest. I could see

she was struggling not to cry again. I lifted one hand off the steering wheel and
softly stroked her hair. "Tell me you don't feel it, Bella. Tell me you don't feel that
draw, every time we touch. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel it, and I
will turn the car around, take you home and never bother you again."

- 70 -

Her head turned and her mouth opened, but nothing came out. "It's not enough,"

she finally whispered. "I'm not enough."

"Let me decide that." I insisted.

She looked at me, sighed and turned back away. "You will."

Bella walked around nervously in my living room. I stood, observing how very

vulnerable she looked right now. Walking over, I placed the coffee I brought in for
us on the table and went over to her. She had washed off all the makeup she hadn't
cried off and looked more like the Bella I was used to. She looked up at me and I
hated seeing the discouraged look in her eyes. She had already written me, written
us, off. I took her hand and led her to the sofa, sitting down next to her and handing
her the coffee. For a minute, there was silence as we both sipped.

Her pain-filled voice broke the quiet. "I got engaged when I was eighteen," she

began. I looked at her, frowning. She smiled ruefully and shrugged. "I was young
and in love. It seemed to be the next step. We planned on being engaged until one of
us graduated. We were both accepted to the University here and we moved and got
settled in the summer so we could find jobs before classes began. Mike lived in the
dorms, but I found a little apartment off campus. I was never one for the whole dorm
experience," she shrugged self-consciously.

She paused. "Not long after we moved here, I began not feeling well. My periods

became extremely heavy and the pain that came with them was excruciating. I
struggled for months with the constant agony. When I started missing classes and
not sleeping because of the pain, I went to the doctor. I had all sorts of tests done
and found out I had extreme endometriosis."

I nodded in understanding, having seen many cases like that. "What was your

prognosis?" I asked sympathetically.

Bella sighed. "I went in for an exploratory surgery so they could find out exactly

what they were dealing with." Abruptly she put her coffee down and stood up, and
began pacing.

I watched her closely and saw the crippling pain that was written on her face. I

saw her hands clenching and unclenching as she moved around. Standing up, I went
over and stood in front of her, halting her rapid movements. I clasped her hands in
mine. "Tell me, Bella."

- 71 -

"When I woke up they told me my case was extremely bad. So bad, in fact, there

was no treatment that would have helped, and they'd had to perform a complete
hysterectomy on me."

My eyes shut at the pain in her voice. I knew how bad it must have been for that

to have happened. I opened up my eyes and looked down at her in sorrow. "Bella," I
whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Her eyes were swimming in tears. "They had explained it all to me beforehand; I

had signed everything in case it happened. But, I didn't really think it could, you
know? I thought they would be able to get rid of some of it and I would be okay. I
wasn't really prepared…" Her voice trailed off as the tears ran down her face.

Quietly, I led her back to the sofa and sat beside her. I softly rubbed her back in

soothing circles until she was able to speak again.

"My fiancé, Mike, brought me home a few days later. He, um, helped me get

settled and I fell asleep. When I woke up he was sitting in the chair at the end of the
bed. I could see something was eating at him and I told him to tell me. He told me
he no longer loved me and the engagement was off."

I stared at her. "Just like that?"

Bella smiled grimly. "That's what I said. He told me he always pictured a big

family. That's what he wanted. It's what we had talked about. And now I couldn't
give it to him. I was barren. He felt that marrying me would be a mistake."

I shook my head. "What about adoption? Did you discuss that?"

She looked at me. "I asked him. He said he could never really love a child unless it

was his."

"Then he's a fucking self-centred bastard," I snarled.

"So I found out."

"What happened then?"

"He stood up and picked up his suitcase. He was supposed to stay with me until I

recovered, but he had already packed. He told me to take care of myself," she said
quietly. "And then he walked out on me."

- 72 -

I was stunned. "He just left you there? Alone? After major surgery?"

"He said it was too painful to look at me anymore. He even transferred to another

University. I never saw him again."

I wanted to break something. I wanted this spineless coward who deserted Bella

to be in front of me so I could hit him. This time it was me who stood and paced.

"Tell me you had someone to help you."

"I called my parents. They came and looked after me until I was on my feet."

I sat back down beside her and reached for her hand, entwining our fingers. "Then

what?"

She shrugged. "I went for counselling to help me deal with the fact I would never

have children of my own, and then I went back to school."

"That's why you love the daycare so much." I smiled at her. "Why your little

Learner Bees mean so much to you."

She nodded.

I lifted my hand and raised her chin, making sure she met my eyes. "I'm not him,

Bella."

"I know that, Edward. But, he isn't the only one."

"What?"

"I dated a few times. There was one guy who seemed so nice, and we got along

very well. I was honest, told him the truth and he assured me that not having
children was fine." She laughed bitterly. "So fine, I found out he told all his friends it
was great to have a girl he could fuck and didn't have to worry about knocking up
until he found the right one." She shrugged. "Made his life easier, you know?"

I stared at her in horror. "Bella…"

She shook her head. "I broke up with him. Loudly. And then I decided to just

concentrate on my education. It was the most important thing to me, and I needed
to focus on it." She drew in a deep breath. "It took me a while to get over Mike's
rejection and the other fiasco. But, eventually, I started seeing someone a few years

- 73 -

later. I told him right away before I got too attached. He said he was fine with it. I
had finally started to relax, to think someone could care for me again, but a few
months later, suddenly, it wasn't okay anymore. He walked away from me as well."

I closed my eyes at the pain in her voice. She had been cast aside and used

because of something she had no control over. These stupid men didn't see what she
could give them; they only saw what she couldn't. I shook my head in silent distain
for their thoughtless actions.

But, Bella mistook my inner musings for something else. "It's okay, Edward. I

realize for someone like you, this is huge," she whispered, pulling her hand away
and beginning to move away.

My eyes flew open and I grabbed her before she could stand up. "No, Bella. No.

What do you mean; someone like me?"

"You're a great father, Edward. You should find someone who can have more

children with you. I can't give you that. Ever," she said softly. "And, I can't bear to
have you look at me a few months from now and tell me that it's a deal breaker. I
can't go through that again." Her voice shook slightly. "It's better you know now so
you can move on."

She pulled away and stood up. Her voice was now so quiet I could barely hear her.

"And, so, I can stop hoping."

She turned away, effectively dismissing me. "Could you call me a cab, Edward?

Please?"

I stood up, feeling angry and grabbed her shoulders, turning her back to face me.

"No, Bella. We're not done here."

Her eyes widened at my tone. "I'm not any of them Bella. I'm me. I don't work that

way. You aren't a defective piece of equipment to be discarded. And you certainly
aren't someone I want to fuck and walk away from. Those idiots had no idea what
they were throwing away."

"And you do?"

"Yes. My God, Bella, can't you see yourself for who you are? What you have to

offer? I'm not interested in you because of your potential working uterus. I'm
interested because of how you make me feel. The feeling of completion I have when
I am with you. You make me realize how empty that part of my life is."

- 74 -

She looked at me, her eyes awash with fresh tears.

"I love how you are with Emma, and I see how she adores you. How you are with

all the children you care for. How you take care of me in little ways. How you laugh.
How you have no idea how you affect me."

"How?" her voice beseeched me softly.

I moved my hands to her face. I gently cupped her cheeks. "I'm falling for you,

Bella. What I feel for you is way more than I have ever felt for a friend." I smiled as I
stroked her skin. "Although, I must admit, the idea of loving a friend like you is
wonderful."

"But children…"

"I have a child. And, there are so many children who need love, Bella. If I want

more," I paused and took in a deep breath, "if we want more we can have them."

She shook her head. "You can't just say things like that, Edward. You need to think

about this. It's too important. Think of what you would be giving up."

I could see how significant this was to her. She needed to know I had really

thought it through and that I meant what I said. Leaning forward I kissed her softly.
"I think I already know what I'd be giving up not having you in my life." I studied her
sweet face for a minute. "I give one hundred and ten percent to whatever I put my
mind to, Bella. I need you to know that. Once I'm in, I'm all in. Do you understand
that?"

She nodded.

I drew back. "I'll take you home now. I've got some thinking to do."

"Okay," she whispered, her shoulders sagging a little.

"Bella, I want you to think about something as well."

She looked up.

"It's not just me. I have a daughter, a vulnerable daughter who already adores

you. Are you prepared to be something significant in her life? Will you protect her
feelings, as well as mine? Can you be one hundred and ten percent as well?"

- 75 -

She stared at me and started to speak.

I shook my head. "No, don't answer right now. You asked me to think carefully.

Now I am asking you to do the same. Emma is my life. I have to think of her, above
all else. Even myself."

She nodded.

I held out my hand, sighing as I felt her fingers curl tightly around mine.

"We're not done here, Bella. If I have my way, we're not done by a long shot."

"Okay," she whispered.

And there it was.

A glimmer of hope in her eyes.

So... hard chapter to write. See you later this week I hope...

Be safe!

- 76 -

Chapter 14

Because its Tuesday. Because its raining. Because this week begs for three

chapters. Because I want to. Because of all of this you get an early update.

Thank you for reading. The many reviews and PM's I had last chapter

made me weep more than once as you shared bits of your life with me. You
are all such amazing women. Thank you.

The ride back to Bella's was quiet, both of us lost in our own thoughts. When we

arrived at her apartment, I got out and opened her door, extending my hand. She
smiled as she accepted it and I smiled down at her as I drew her towards the door of
her building.

"What are you doing, Edward?"

I looked down at her, confused. "Walking you to your door, Bella. It's normally

what a man does when he escorts his date home."

She arched an eyebrow at me knowingly. "I thought this wasn't a date. Just

friends, remember?"

Busted.

I shrugged and grinned down at her as I kept moving. "That changed the instant

you walked in the lobby looking so beautiful, Bella. I gave up the friends' only thing
in about 1.5 seconds."

Instantly, her neck and face became a soft shade of pink. I watched, fascinated, as

the color crept up her neck, blossoming onto her cheeks as she glanced away.

Squeezing her hand, I smiled. "You are beyond lovely, Bella. Inside and out."

My grin widened as I watched the color deepen.

Unable to resist, I dropped her hand and wound my arm around her waist, pulling

her close. "Get used to it, Bella. I have about a thousand compliments, bursting to
get out, when it comes to you."

She said nothing, but I didn't miss how her head pressed into my shoulder or how

- 77 -

she shivered slightly in response to my words.

When we arrived at her door, I waited until she opened it and turned on the light.

I glanced in, making sure everything looked fine. Beside me, she chuckled quietly.
"Checking for burglars, Edward? Did you want to go in and sweep the place?"

I laughed. "Sorry. Instinct, I think. I do the same when we go home. I always look

around before I let Emma walk in ahead of me."

She smiled. "Thank you. It's been a long time since someone cared that much."

She walked in and turned, looking at me. "Did you, ah, want to come in?"

I shook my head, regretfully, regarding her steadily. "I don't think I should, Bella.

If I do, I'm not going to want to leave."

Her eyes widened and once again the blush returned full force. She stood there

blinking at me and I couldn't resist cupping her warm cheek in my hand, my thumb
gently stroking her skin. "Good night, Bella."

"Good night," she whispered.

Before I gave into the temptation of dragging her into my arms and kissing her

senseless, I turned to go.

"Edward?"

I stopped part way out of the door and turned around. Bella was looking at me,

nervously chewing on her bottom lip, which told me she needed to say something.

Stepping back inside, I closed the door. I reached up and pulled her lip away from

her teeth. "What is it, Bella?"

She drew in a deep breath. "I will still be your friend, Edward. No matter what you

decide. Emma will still be cared for and protected at the daycare, I promise."

I frowned. "I know that." I studied her sadly. "You're so sure I'm going to walk

away, aren't you?"

"I… I'm just afraid…" she paused.

"Afraid of what?"

- 78 -

"That when you think about it, really think about it, you'll realize a lot of what

you're feeling is just gratitude."

"Gratitude?"

She nodded. "Because I care for Emma. Because she is slowly making some

progress. I'm afraid you are so happy about how she is doing, you are mixing that up
with the feelings you think you have for me."

I stared at her, shaking my head in frustration. "Emma had a great daycare before

we moved here. She was well cared for and looked after. And never once, did I ever
want to do this to one of her caregivers." I stepped forward and pulled her into my
arms, covering her mouth with mine. Impatiently, my tongue pushed its way into her
mouth, twining with hers, causing both of us to groan. I pulled her closer as her
arms wound around my neck and continued to kiss her deeply. Over and over I
tasted her, my tongue dipping and exploring, not wanting to move away from her or
stop the intense heat I felt when we were this close. I loved how she felt pressed up
against me, how her mouth moved with mine, and how she tasted on my tongue. Her
very essence soaked deep into my soul when we were this close. Finally, needing air,
I pulled away, but only to bury my face into her neck as I panted softly in her ear.
"Never once, Bella. It's you that brings these emotions out in me, not the care you
provide for my daughter. Are we clear on that now?"

I felt her nod and lifting my head, I sought out her lips once more, this time gently

nuzzling them with my own. "Monday, Bella. I will see you on Monday," I whispered
as I regretfully pulled away.

I backed away, opening the door, and stepped back into the hall, never breaking

eye contact with her. She stood watching me as the door shut, her lips swollen from
my kisses, her cheeks pink from my words and her chest heaving from the feelings I
stirred within her.

I made my way back to my car, fighting the desire to turn around and go back to

her, my own breathing deep and heavy with desire. We both needed to think.

Except, the only thing I could think about right now was how she felt in my arms.

How she tasted in my mouth.

How she made me feel.

Alive.

- 79 -

Happy.

I sat down heavily in the driver's seat, hard and throbbing. There was one other

thing she made me feel.

Want.

Hot, needful want.

For her.

I groaned, my hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, in order not to fling open

my door and go back up those stairs and finish what I started. It wasn't until this
very moment I realized how much I wanted Bella Swan. I wanted her under me,
moaning out my name. I wanted to be buried deep inside her, feeling her warmth as
I made her mine. I wanted to watch her fall apart around me and hear her cry out
my name.

Fuck.

I turned the key and shifted into drive quickly, before I gave in.

After I got home I spent a long night, thinking, not even trying to sleep. I went

through everything she said and no matter what my thoughts were, what angle I
came at it from, one thing remained constant.

I wanted her.

I meant what I said. As sorry as I was she would never be able to bear her own

children, it didn't lessen what I was feeling for her, in any way. And, once I had
Emma, I had never even thought about having other children…she was enough for
me. But, I also knew that if Bella wanted another child I would happily explore
whatever means necessary to give her that. While we had been talking, the doctor in
me had questions he wanted to ask her, but I knew it wasn't the right time. There
was so much we still needed to talk about, but it would depend on Bella's decision to
move forward.

The thought of Bella and me, with Emma, being an actual family made me smile.

Evenings out, like the night we had shared the pizza, would be a regular thing. With
Bella, I was free to not only show my affection for Emma, but for her as well, and not

- 80 -

have it sneered at. I knew that with Bella I would be able to hold her hand or drop
kisses on her soft lips without fear of being rebuked. Unlike Tanya, she wanted to
spend time with Emma. She loved her. She showed that in the way she cared for her
so affectionately. I could see us here in this house laughing together, supporting
each other, watching Emma grow. I groaned as I rolled over in bed. I already had us
moving in together, building a life, and Bella hadn't even agreed to go on a real date
with me yet.

Sunday passed slowly. For the first time ever, my mind wasn't one hundred

percent devoted to Emma. I was distracted constantly with my thoughts of Bella.
After picking Emma up at my parent's house, I took her to the park where we played
on the swings, and I caught her as she slid down the slide, laughing with her as she
smiled, but one part of my mind was constantly wondering what Bella was doing.
Was she still thinking? Had she made her decision? Could she find the strength to
trust another man, again? Could she find it in herself to trust me?

It took all my strength not to call her. Or, put Emma in the car and drive over to

her place to check on her. I had promised to leave her alone today and I would.

But it wasn't easy.

Monday morning finally arrived, and once again I found myself outside the

daycare, nervous about going in. I felt Emma's hand pulling on mine and I smiled
down at her. My little girl was as anxious to go in as I was. Both of us wanted to see
Bella. I let her pull me along and we walked in. I scanned the room and immediately
felt my stomach clench. I didn't see Bella. I looked over and saw her door was
closed. I felt my eyes close at the sudden pain in my chest. She was avoiding me
again. She couldn't put herself out there, no matter how much of a draw she felt
towards me.

Jessica came over and I managed to smile and wish Emma a good day. Bella's

truck was there, so I knew she would come out once I left. I made my way to the
hospital, my feet feeling heavy and clumsy. I had just entered the doors when I ran
into Margaret Smith, the organizer of the dinner from the weekend, who took me to
her office to give me the box containing the earrings I had bid on for Bella. I took
them from her, forcing a smile, as I thanked her. I made my way to the locker room
before I opened the box and looked at them, shining brightly under the lights. I
shook my head sadly, realizing I would probably never see her wear them, before I
shut the box and tossed it onto the shelf. Slowly, I changed into my scrubs and
grabbing my lab coat sat down heavily on the bench in front of the lockers.

- 81 -

Unconsciously, I rubbed my chest, trying to ease the ache I felt in it as I sat,
discouraged, on the bench, trying to get up the strength to go start my day.

Jake entered the locker room, talking and laughing on his phone, stopping dead

when he saw me. He hung up and approached me.

"Edward?"

I shook my head. "Leave me alone, Jake. Just leave me alone," I begged him

quietly.

He laid a hand on my shoulder. "I'll take the first few patients," he said kindly.

"You just take your time."

I nodded and sat with my head in my hands for a while.

I knew this was a possibility. But, I was sure we could work through this. I had

been certain I could get her to trust me enough to try. I was shocked to feel tears on
my face and I wiped them away in anger. I hadn't even cried when Tanya walked out
on us. Why was I crying now? Why was I feeling such a tremendous loss for
something I never really had in the first place?

My beeper went off and I stood up, shaking my head. I had to keep going. I had a

job to do and a daughter that depended on me.

No matter what else, I had that.

It had been enough before.

It had to be enough now.

One more this week. Remain calm. Have I let you down before?

- 82 -

Chapter 15

OK... a third update for the week. This is preread, but unbetaed so any and

all mistakes are mine.

So many new readers - hello! So happy to see you here.

I finished jotting some notes down on the chart of the patient I had just seen. I

scrubbed my eyes, feeling tired as I approached the nurse's station. The morning
was dragging on and felt like it was never going to end.

"Dr. Cullen?" I looked up, surprised to see Beth at the nurse's station. Instantly I

was fearful. Had something happened to Emma? Bella? I quickly walked towards
her. "Beth, what's wrong? Is Emma okay?" I asked anxiously.

"Oh she's fine! Everything is fine," she hastened to assure me.

"Why are you here then?" I asked puzzled.

She held out an envelope. "Bella had asked me to give this to you this morning

when you dropped Emma off. But I was busy in the washroom with a sick child so I
didn't see you. This was my first chance to get here. She said it was important."

My hand reached out and closed around the surprisingly thick envelope. "Bella

was there this morning?" I asked, remembering the closed door. Had she been
hiding as I feared?

"Yes, she was interviewing a new caregiver when you arrived. She was afraid she

may miss you and asked me to make sure you got this."

I stared at her, blinking.

Bella wasn't avoiding me.

She was busy doing an interview.

Looking down, I stared down at the envelope, feeling relief course through me. I

had overreacted.

I glanced up and smiled. "Thanks for bringing this, Beth."

- 83 -

"I'm sorry I missed you as well, Dr. Cullen. I hope this hasn't caused you a

problem?"

I shook my head and smiled at her again. "No. Not at all. Thank you for making a

special trip to bring it to me."

I watched her walk away and I went into an empty examination room, wanting the

privacy.

Eagerly, I opened the thick envelope and grinned at the first item I pulled out. A

bag with two large cookies in it.

Hastily, I grabbed the note inside.

Edward,

I am sorry I couldn't give this to you in person. I forgot about the interview I had

this morning.

Can you come for lunch? We can talk then?

My office?

I'll be waiting.

~Bella.

PS – I made these myself. I know they're your favorite.

I let out a deep breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

She wanted to have lunch. To talk.

Talking was good. Talking was so good.

I smiled as I reached in the bag and grabbed a cookie.

Cookies were so good as well.

In one moment, everything was okay again.

- 84 -

I was later than usual for lunch due to an emergency. When I walked in, the room

was quiet and I looked around at the sleeping bodies lying on their mats. I smiled
fondly as I spied Emma nestled in with Mr. Floppy, curled into her usual ball under
the blanket. I hesitated, not wanting to disturb anyone, but Bella appeared from the
kitchen, smiling. She pointed to her office door before disappearing back into the
kitchen, and I quietly made my way to her office and waited for her to appear. She
walked in with a tray and pushed her door shut softly.

"Hi," she smiled, looking at me nervously.

I walked to her and took the tray, placing it on her desk. Then I wrapped my arms

around her, pulling her to me, sighing in relief when she accepted my embrace.

"Beth told me she missed you this morning. I'm sorry," she murmured. "I wanted

you to have my note so you didn't worry."

I nodded against her head. "I was worried," I admitted. "I thought you had made

your decision and were hiding from me. In fact, I was sure you were. It was a rough
start to the morning for me." I shrugged sheepishly. "I may have overreacted a
little."

She stood back, but pressed her hand against my cheek. "Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry

your day started liked that. So sorry. But, I promised you I wouldn't, and I meant
that. No matter what, I won't hide from you again."

My throat tightened.

No matter what?

I didn't like the sound of that.

"Come have your lunch, Edward. I saved you some. I was hoping you would show

up."

I struggled to keep my voice calm. "There was an emergency."

Bella smiled at me. "As awful as it sounds, I was hoping that is what delayed you,

and not that you were avoiding me," she said softly, blushing as she looked away.

She sat down on one of the chairs in front of her desk and offered me a plate. I sat

down across from her and smiled as I saw the contents. Homemade macaroni and
cheese. Made, I knew, by Bella. It was a favorite of everyone's here. Grinning, she

- 85 -

handed me a fork and watched me start to eat.

"What about you?" I asked around a mouthful of the cheesy goodness.

"I had some with the children. All the veggies got eaten though."

I waved my fork dismissively. "Not a problem."

She chuckled. "For a doctor you eat very badly."

I shrugged. "I make sure Emma gets everything she needs. I do pretty well." Then

I winked at her. "But maybe…I need someone to help me with that?"

"Eat your lunch, Edward," she reprimanded me gently.

She didn't have to tell me twice and I dug in happily, watching her as she read

through some papers on her desk, giving me a chance to eat.

"That was delicious. Thank you," I said when I was done, reaching forward and

setting my plate down. I noticed the coffees and plate of cookies on the tray and I
arched my eyebrow at Bella with a silent question. She shook her head with a smile
and handed me a mug then offered me a cookie. Grinning, I leaned forward to take
it, only to have her pull it back teasingly. "Ah, ah, Edward. What's the magic word?"

Silently, I looked at her. Her eyes were soft today, holding a promise that

beckoned. I sat my coffee back on the desk and slid out of my chair, kneeling in front
of her. I placed my hands on the arms of her chair and leaned forward, holding her
gaze. "All in, Bella," I whispered quietly. "Those are the magic words. One hundred
and ten percent. All. In."

She stared at me, and I watched tears fill her eyes.

She sighed deeply and her hand came up to cup my cheek. I leaned into her touch.

"Me too, Edward."

Instantly, my arms were around her pulling her off the chair and onto my lap. My

lips found hers and I kissed her deeply, pouring out my relief and my happiness. I
pulled back to look down at her. "Say it again, please."

Her hands reached up into my hair, pulling me close.

"All in, Edward."

- 86 -

I wrapped her up tightly in my arms, enjoying the feeling of having her nestled

against me.

"We have a lot to talk about," she whispered into my chest.

"And we will. Tonight. Tomorrow. Any time you want. Just let me enjoy this for a

moment, please," I asked quietly.

She pulled herself closer, and I pressed her to my chest.

"Okay, Edward. We'll talk later."

I went back to work feeling way more cheerful. Bella was going to come for dinner

tonight and we were going to talk. And once we did we would sit and talk to Emma.
We both agreed she was a priority here.

The afternoon went by quicker than the morning had and as I was getting ready to

leave, Jacob walked in the locker room.

"How's it going?" he asked quietly.

I grinned. "Better, thanks Jake."

He shook his head. "I tried to warn you, dude."

I looked at him. "What?"

He sighed. "Edward. You can't expect the little chick to give you more than she's

capable of."

I laughed. "She's capable of a lot, Jake. It's all good."

He shook his head. "Dude, she's not into men. Remember?" His voice was muffled

as he pulled his scrubs shirt over his head.

I sighed. "Jake, Bella Swan is not gay."

He stopped and looked at me.

"What are you talking about?"

- 87 -

"Bella isn't gay."

"Then why would she tell me she was? That makes no sense, Edward."

"You kept asking her out. She finally just told you that to get you to stop."

He stopped in the midst of pulling a clean shirt over his head, looking completely

confused.

"She's not gay?"

"No."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"She just said that 'cause she didn't want to go out with me?"

I nodded.

He stared at me.

"She didn't want to go out. With me."

"No."

He shook his head, clearly having a problem coming to grips with that statement.

He looked at me, his brow furrowed. "I don't think that's ever happened to me

before. Everyone wants to go out with me. I mean, dude; look at me."

I felt my laughter beginning to bubble up.

He looked me up and down. "No offense dude, but really…she likes you?"

My lips twitched. "She does."

"Huh. Maybe her eyes need to get checked," he shrugged nonchalantly as he

finished pulling his shirt on.

I shrugged, now biting my lip.

- 88 -

"Like I said, no offense. It's just…" his voice trailed off.

"None taken," I assured him. "Everyone is attracted to something different, right?"

He grabbed his bag and shook his head. "Everyone is always attracted to me.

That's just the way it is, Edward," he huffed.

I couldn't stop it. I started to laugh. He looked at me as if I was crazy and then

shook his head. "I think the two of you are made for each other. Both of you are a
little off."

I clapped him on the back.

"You're right, Jake, we are made for each other. Thanks for noticing."

He rolled his eyes as he walked out of the locker room. "Seriously, Edward. It

made so much more sense when she was gay."

My laughter followed him out of the locker room.

So... leaving you in a better place than the last one. She was busy...not

avoiding.

I love me some conceited Jake. He makes me laugh along with Edward.

I have a group on facebook... come join us. EdwardEternal's Love of

Words. Random thoughts, pictures, teasers for this fic and the next one that
is being written. Lots of wonderful, funny, amazing women to laugh and
share with.

See you on the weekend.

- 89 -

Chapter 16

Hello All!

Thank you for reading, reviewing, your pm's and comment on my group

page... love them all.

Thanks to Liz for prereading.

Special thanks to MidNight... for reasons I cannot explain besides than

her beta skills. But I am grateful today.

Bella looked at me with wide eyes across the counter. "Does he not understand I

was never gay?" she whispered as she rolled her eyes. "Is the man that clueless?"

I grinned. "I'd say he has a mindset when it comes to his…ah…personal charms

and we may have sort of blew his mind a little. He is totally flummoxed as to how
you could find me more attractive than him."

She shook her head as she added the cucumbers she'd been chopping to the salad

bowl. "I hope he's better at diagnosing patients then he is at diagnosing people
outside the office," she mumbled as she wiped her hands on the towel beside her
and bent down to scoop up Emma who had walked back into the room. "Let's see
those hands, my girl!"

I smiled watching as Emma held out her damp, yet very clean hands for

inspection. My smile grew as Bella blew kisses into Emma's damp palms
congratulating her on a job well done. "Look, Daddy," she smiled. "Emma is ready
for supper!"

I grinned and leaned over taking Emma's hands in mine and kissing them as well.

"Hungry, Babygirl?"

Emma nodded and Bella stood her on her feet. She had been so excited to find out

Bella was coming to supper she hadn't stopped smiling since I picked her up. My
heart was happy just watching her. It boded well for the talk we would have with her
later. I grabbed a plate to go and get the burgers off the grill and moved past Bella.

"Edward?"

- 90 -

I stopped and looked down at Bella. Her cheeks were delightfully pink. "What?" I

asked curious as to what had made her blush.

She leaned up and I tilted my head to the side to hear what she had to say. "Hands

down, everything about you is a hundred times more attractive than Dr.
Loves-myself- a-lot. And you…Edward, you are as sexy as hell." she breathed into my
ear softly. Then she surprised me further by leaning up closer and nipping my lobe,
before grabbing the salad bowl and walking towards the table where Emma sat,
looking at us curiously.

I stared after her, speechless.

I cleared my suddenly dry throat and quickly made my way out to the barbeque.

What I wanted to do to her right now, I could not possibly do in front of my

daughter.

Who, it occurred to me, seemed more tired than usual and needed to go to bed

early.

Home. For the first time since we moved into the house it felt like home. Dinner

was simple but perfect. Bella talked to Emma constantly, teased me about
everything she could and made me laugh frequently. I watched the way Emma
looked at Bella, smiling. She was as smitten with her as I was. After dinner we went
for a walk to the neighbourhood ice cream store, a beaming Emma between us, each
of us holding a hand. I looked down at her smiling, wishing fervently that her
happiness would cause her to suddenly speak. I looked over at Bella who smiled
softly, knowing exactly what I was thinking. "Soon, Daddy. I can feel it," she said
encouragingly.

Once the ice cream was devoured, I saw Emma was in fact tired, so on the way

home , I boosted her onto my shoulders which left my side empty. Feeling that
elusive happiness again, I tucked Bella beside me, wrapping one arm around her
while the other reached up and wrapped around Emma's leg keeping her securely in
place. I grinned when I realized Bella had reached up and tucked one of Emma's
hands into hers. Together, as a unit, we walked home, enjoying the contentment we
seemed to find together. I could feel Emma getting heavier and by the time we got
home she was already nodding off. Between us, Bella and I quickly had her washed
and ready for bed, with her barely even stirring awake. We both stood looking at her
curled into her bed peacefully. I looked down at Bella. "Thank you."

- 91 -

She smiled. "We make a good team."

I smiled and wrapped my arm around her kissing her forehead. "We do indeed,

Bella."

We sat facing each other on the couch. We had talked for hours. I told her

everything about Tanya, our marriage, our relationship, or lack thereof and how I
had come to the decision to move closer to my parents. I had grown up in Edmonton,
but my parents moved to Calgary, while I was in Toronto during my first year of
medical school, when they decided they preferred the size and pace of Calgary. It
seemed like a good idea, a fresh start in a place with no memories, aside from a few
trips to visit. Bella had come here to attend University and had never left. She too
liked the size and pace of the city.

Bella in turn had gone more into depth about her engagement and what had led

her into the career she had chosen. She talked openly about the pain she felt after
being rejected by the men she had cared about because of her inability to have
children of her own. When I gently asked her if they had been able to save any eggs,
the pain in her eyes, as she told me no, tugged at my heart. "There were...
complications. When I said I would never be able to give you a child, Edward, I
meant never," she whispered; a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"You can't bear a child, Bella. I understand that. But, it doesn't mean we can't

bring another child into our lives in the future," I assured her quietly. Her eyes flew
to mine. "We can discuss all of this, whenever you're ready. Right now, I want to
concentrate on us. On now."

Her smile was timid. "I like that. Us."

I cupped her cheek tenderly. "So do I."

Her teeth were worrying her bottom lip and I knew she had something more to

say and was hesitating.

"Tell me, Bella," I encouraged quietly as I pulled her lip free. "Talk to me."

"I'm frightened."

I regarded her quietly. "Are you still worried I'll change my mind, Bella? That I'll

walk away from you?"

- 92 -

She nodded hesitantly. "This time, Edward, I don't think I could take it," she

confessed softly. "It frightens me how important you've become to me. Both of you.
How quickly I've developed these feelings for you. They are unlike anything I have
ever experienced before."

I smiled at her and leaned forward, kissed her forehead. "I feel the same way,

Bella. I never expected to move here and find someone…ever, never mind the first
week I was here. I thought it would be Emma and I alone for a very long time, if not
for good." I drew in a breath. "I didn't take what you told me lightly. I thought it
through very carefully. But it didn't change anything for me, Bella." I looked at her
intently. "I'm not downplaying your feelings about not being able to have children. I
know it devastated you. But who you are and what you are is what is important to
me Bella. Not your baby making abilities. You. What happens in the future we can
decide, together. But I know I want you in my life. In our life."

I paused to give her a chance to think about what I had just said. My hand

reached for her and clasped it tightly. "This feels so right to me, Bella. We fit so well
together. I love how you are with Emma." I held up my hand, not wanting her to get
the wrong idea. "Not as her caregiver from the daycare. How you are with her here.
When we were at dinner. I see how she responds to you. And that is simply a bonus
for me." I pulled her closer to me. "Because I love how you make me feel. How I
respond to you," I murmured huskily.

"I like that as well," she whispered.

I grinned. "Because I'm so…sexy?" I asked arching my eyebrow.

Instantly, she blushed and grinning I lowered my face capturing her lips with

mine. I kissed her softly, then dropped small kisses over her cheeks up to her ear.
"Ditto, Ms. Swan," I breathed enjoying the shudder that went through her body at
my words. "You are so sexy, I can barely see straight."

In a move I didn't expect, she grabbed my face and pressed her mouth to mine,

drawing my bottom lip in between hers and nibbling it gently before stroking it with
her tongue to ease the tender bites. Groaning, I pulled her onto my lap deepening
the kiss.

The all-consuming warmth that happened every time we were close like this

enveloped me. Every part of me strained to get closer to Bella. I needed more of her
taste. More of her skin. More of her touch. I had never been as desperate to be close
to someone as I was with her.

- 93 -

My tongue delved into her mouth seeking hers. My eager hands found their way

under her shirt onto the warm yielding skin of her back. My fingers curled into her
soft flesh pulling her impossibly closer as I kissed her over and over again, not
satisfied. Her low moans and the way she pulled my face closer to hers only
encouraged me. I shifted us so I was now hovering over her on the couch, pressed
closer to her as I ravaged her mouth, lost in the heat of the moment.

God, I wanted her.

Right now.

But, I knew we had to stop.

I knew it was too soon.

Regretfully, I forced myself to slow down. I tempered my kisses to gentle, loving

touches and finally lifted my head to gaze down on Bella. Her eyes were still shut,
her breaths coming out in tiny little gasps of air. Her lips were swollen from mine
and deliciously, glistening pink from my tongue. Unable to resist, I dropped my head
back down and kissed her sweetly, grazing my tongue over her lips lightly making
her shudder. Once. Twice. Three times, before I was able to lift my head again. I
could see her chin was slightly reddened from my stubble and I made a mental note
to shave when I got home at night. Her eyes opened and she smiled at me, her hand
drifting up to cup my cheek, stroking it tenderly. Instinctually, I leaned into her
touch, loving the feeling of her tenderness.

"What are you thinking?" she whispered.

I kissed her again. "That I don't want to stop."

Kiss.

"That you are utterly adorable."

Kiss.

"That I am the luckiest man on earth."

Kiss.

"That I am so happy you're not gay."

- 94 -

Giggle.

Kiss.

"That I need to shave."

Her nose wrinkled with my last statement.

I grinned and drew my finger across her chin. "Stubble burn," I whispered. "You

may get some looks tomorrow."

She touched her skin and grinned back. "I guess you've left your mark on me

then?"

Growling, I lowered my face to her neck, nuzzling the fragrant skin there. "Damn

right. Mine."

She sighed, a soft, sad, little sound.

I looked at her confused. "Tell me."

"I like how that sounds," she whispered, running her hands up and down my back.

"And it scares you?"

She nodded slowly.

I shook my head. "Don't be. One hundred and ten percent Bella. I'm all in.

Remember?"

Her eyes glistened.

"Me too."

"Then I'm yours as well," I said firmly.

She smiled.

"Mine," she whispered in wonder.

I nodded, smiling back at her.

- 95 -

I liked that as well.

See you later this week...

- 96 -

Chapter 17

Another update for you. Enjoy!

Thank you Liz for prereading and your support. Midnight... thank you does

not even begin to cover it. There are simply no words... not even for me.

And to YOU.. thanks for reading and your lovely words.

I woke up the next morning, smiling. And horny. Before I even opened my eyes I

was thinking about Bella. How she felt under me. How her mouth moved with mine
so sweetly. Her taste.

I didn't want her to leave last night. Before she could walk out the door, I had her

pressed up against the wall, my tongue caressing hers as my hands lifted her,
bringing her legs around my hips as I pressed into her warmth. By the time I let her
down, we were both trembling with passion and need for each other. We had stared
at each other as we fought to bring ourselves under control. It was too soon. My
mind and my heart knew it; although other parts of my body did not agree…at all.

Silently, I had followed her out to her truck. I opened the door for her and leaned

in for one final kiss. But, as soon as our lips met, we both moaned and she had
pulled me closer. I stepped up into the truck, pressing her back against the seat as
we once again lost ourselves with each other. It was only her hand pushing against
my chest that brought me back to reality and I had laughed as I looked around me. I
was making out with this woman like a teenager…in my driveway. I shook my head
as I looked down at her flushed face. Regretfully, I pulled myself away and softly
kissed her forehead.

"I'd say I'm sorry for my behavior," I grinned as my arm indicated the less than

private setting, "but I'm not."

Her smile was shy. "Me, either."

I shut the door before I gave in and clambered back up into her lap. "Call me

when you get home, please," I asked quietly through the open truck window, as my
fingers stroked her warm cheek.

She nodded as she turned her head, kissing my fingers. "I will."

- 97 -

I had stood watching her drive away, filled with the oddest sensation.

It was as if a small part of me was leaving.

Now, in the shower, the images of last night played over and over in my mind as

my hand wrapped around my aching erection. Faster and faster I stroked myself as I
thought about Bella and our shared passion from last night, and I shuddered as I
released under the warm spray. My head fell onto my arm as I moaned her name
when I came, my chest heaving; the need momentarily met, yet the desire still
rampant.

Drying myself off, I grinned. Another first. I couldn't remember the last time I had

woken up this hard and wanting. It was as if Bella was bringing every part of me
back to life.

I chuckled as I looked at my content expression in the mirror.

I could hardly wait until I woke up feeling like this again, except, with Bella beside

me.

Now, that promised to be a good morning.

I was still smiling when I went to get Emma ready for the day.

I walked into the daycare, suddenly feeling unsure. We had talked about so much

last night, but mostly about our pasts before we had gotten…sidetracked. I wasn't
sure how to greet her this morning. I knew I wanted to grab her and kiss her
senseless, but I had an idea that might not be acceptable…at least not yet, and
maybe not here at the Daycare.

Once inside, my eyes sought her out. She was standing, talking to another woman

and as if she sensed it was me, she stopped talking and her eyes snapped to mine. I
smiled at her, feeling a sense of completion now that I was in the same room as her.
Her gaze never left mine as she made her way over, holding out her arms for Emma
who eagerly reached for her as well. I was surprised, but pleased, when I felt her
reach up and graze my cheek with her soft lips as she lifted Emma from me.

"Hi," she whispered quietly, before speaking in a normal voice to Emma, wishing

her good morning.

- 98 -

I grinned at her, feeling somewhat tongue-tied. She was dressed in her usual yoga

pants and a loose fitting sweatshirt, but today her hair was down, loose around her
shoulders. She looked young, pretty and highly desirable. My hands itched to reach
out and bury themselves in her hair and bring her mouth to mine for a proper
greeting, but my thoughts were interrupted as she introduced me to the woman she
had been speaking with.

"This is Leah," she smirked at me, knowingly. She knew exactly what I was

thinking. "Today is her first day with us. This is Dr. Cullen, Emma's father."

I smiled and shook Leah's hand. She was a tall, exotic beauty. Her dark skin tone

and deep brown eyes were framed by shoulder- length black hair. Her handshake
was firm and her expression one of friendly honesty and I liked her right away.

I watched her crouch down a little to be at eye level with Emma, who was still

wrapped in Bella's arms. She spoke quietly and directly to Emma who smiled shyly
at her, but didn't try and hide which was a good sign. Bella leaned down and stood
Emma on her feet. "Can you go with Leah and show her where you keep your coat
and backpack, please Emma?" she asked her quietly. "We need to show Leah where
everything is; just like we did with you on your first day, remember?"

Emma nodded and let Leah take her hand. Before leaving she looked up at me and

touched her fingers to her lips in her silent signal. I bent down and let her touch her
fingers to my lips, knowing the gesture comforted her, and I lovingly returned the
gesticulation with a smile and watched her walk away with Leah.

I stood up and looked at Bella.

"You do that a lot," she smiled.

I nodded. "I've done that since she was born. It's kind of our thing. Our way of

saying 'I love you'," I explained, suddenly feeling sad. "It's been the only way she has
told me that for months."

I felt a soft pressure on my hand and looked down to see Bella's hand squeezing

mine in comfort. "She'll say the words soon, Edward. I just know it."

I smiled as I held her hand in comfort. "Thank you. I hope so."

She nodded. "I have an idea I'm working on. Trust me."

"I do, Bella." I sighed. "Care to share your idea?"

- 99 -

"No," she shook her head. "I don't want any expectations. If it happens, you'll

know."

"And, if not?"

"I'll figure something else out. We'll find a way, Edward. We will," she said firmly.

I looked at her intently. "I believe you, Bella."

She smiled and squeezed my hand again. "Good."

"I have to go."

She nodded.

"I would much rather stay."

She nodded again. "I would rather that as well."

I lowered my voice. "I want to kiss you right now. Hard."

Her breath caught, but her head shook 'no'.

"Not here, Edward."

"We need to keep talking, right?"

She sighed regretfully.

"Yes."

"One kiss? Just a small one?"

She glanced around, but since as usual I was one of the earliest drop-offs, the

room was fairly empty. She leaned up, her hand cupping my face and pressed her
lips to mine. My hand flew up and held her closely for a moment as I enjoyed the
feeling of her sweet lips moving with mine.

The softest noise from behind me exploded into my brain, the sound so achingly

sweet and familiar. I spun around and met Emma's wide eyes. Her little hand was
clasped over her tiny mouth, but there was no mistaking what I had just heard.
Emma had just cooed. It was a sound I had heard many times when she was filled

- 100 -

with delight at a sight in front of her. A sound I had missed so deeply.

Bella squeezed my hand in silent warning. Don't overreact and scare her.

I hunched down and pulled Emma's hand away from her mouth and softly kissed

her little palm before smiling at her. "You just made Daddy's day the best one he's
had in a long time, Babygirl. I love your noises. Thank you for letting me hear one."

Then, leaning forward, I kissed her forehead and stood up. Unable to stop myself,

I turned and did the same thing to Bella before walking out the door. My emotions
were painfully strong at that moment and I needed to centre myself.

I turned, for one last look before I shut the door behind me.

Both my girls were watching me. Bella's eyes glistened under the lights with

emotion that matched my own.

Without thinking, I raised my fingers to my lips and kissed them, 'sending' them

both a final kiss.

All of us were smiling as the door shut, all of us a little happier on this brilliant

Tuesday morning.

Moving forward... yes. Emma likes seeing them together I think. I make

the same sounds when I read my reviews.

See you on the weekend...

- 101 -

Chapter 18

Happy Sunday to all... Two updates this week. Enjoy.

Thanks to Liz and MidNight. They make this so much better.

My great start to the morning came to an abrupt halt, quickly. One of my fellow

doctors was called away on a family emergency and we were already short-staffed
due to holidays and a sudden outbreak of flu. Staff were being infected at an
alarming rate. Instantly, I was on call and working extra shifts for a long while.

I groaned as I looked at my upcoming schedule. I was going to be stretched pretty

thin. I copied my new schedule and emailed both Bella and my mom asking for help,
knowing Mom would be at the daycare later and arrange with Bella when she would
be able to pick Emma up for me over the next while. I had no idea how long this
would last, and that I simply had to take things a week at a time. I also knew I would
have to arrange for some sleepovers, since I couldn't risk having to leave Emma in
the middle of the night. Then, I grabbed a chart and waded into the mass of people
waiting to be seen. Midmorning, a text came from Bella with a picture of Emma
smiling during their art lessons, her fingers covered in paint. The accompanying
message told me she and my mom would work things out and not to worry about the
farm trip on Friday. I groaned, having totally forgotten that I would, unfortunately,
have to give that up, as well.

I shrugged, knowing there was nothing I could do about it; I had to work. I had to

re-establish myself here before I could begin the process of looking to open my own
practice. And, I was the low man on the totem pole, so to speak, so I had to work to
earn a place in the department and the hospital. I had known all this when I left
Toronto to come back to Alberta. But, at this moment, it didn't make it any easier.
All I wanted right now was a set schedule, so I could move forward with Bella and
concentrate on her and Emma.

Another text came in and I smiled as I read it.

Stop feeling guilty. It goes with the territory. I knew this.-B

My fingers flew over the keyboard. She already knew me well enough to know I

was feeling contrite over not going on the day trip with them.

Thank you. I am sorry, though. I was looking forward to sneaking you into the

- 102 -

barn and kissing you. Love the pic and the words. Would like one of you next time,
my QB. –E

My phone vibrated before I reached the exam room.

Ah. A quick roll in the hay, Dr. Cullen? QB?

I grinned and typed.

Perhaps not so quick. Emma is your Learner Bee. You are her Queen Bee. Mine as

well. -E

Her response was waiting when I finished up with my patient.

I like being your QB .I will take Emma home tonight and have supper waiting

when you get there. Since you are on call tomorrow night, your mom will take her.
Will share the rest of the schedule when I see you later – QB

Bella would be waiting when I got home. Just like that, the day was okay again.

I sent one final text.

Best news since I got here.

I hesitated, then added one more line.

Adore you.-E

And then I got back to work.

My girls would be waiting when I got home.

I walked into the house, even later than I expected, feeling tired; but instantly

perked up at the aroma that greeted me. Unless I was mistaken, I would be eating
pot roast soon. I walked into the living room, and stopped short at the tender scene
that greeted me. Bella was sitting cross-legged on the couch; Emma in front of her
all bathed and ready for bed, while Bella braided her hair. I stood quietly for a
minute, just absorbing the sweetness of the moment, until Bella looked up, noticed
me and whispered to Emma. Both of my girls smiled and I dropped my jacket on the
arm of the chair, crossed over and dropped down in front of them, wrapping them

- 103 -

both in my arms, before raining small kisses all over Emma's face. Then, smiling, I
leaned up and softly kissed Bella before drawing back. Emma clapped her hands,
smiling.

"You like that, Babygirl?" I asked quietly, brushing my hand down her shiny hair

as Bella quietly went back to braiding the other side.

Emma nodded, looking between Bella and me. I looked silently at Bella, who

smiled and shrugged in answer to my mute question.

I sat beside Bella on the couch and between the two of us we explained as best we

could to a four- year- old, about dating. In the end, she seemed to understand that
Bella would be around more, which made her very happy and that she was the most
important thing to both of us. Bella got up to check on something in the kitchen,
giving me a chance to talk to Emma alone.

I pulled her onto my lap and smiled at her. "You like Bella a lot, Babygirl, don't

you?"

A nod.

"Daddy likes her too. But he loves you. More than anything. You know that right?"

Another nod.

"If you want to tell Daddy something, you can. Anything."

She regarded me for a minute then kissed her fingers and laid them on my lips. I

smiled against her tiny hand. "I love you, as well, Emma."

Then, she pulled her other hand up and kissed her fingers again, this time waving

them towards the kitchen.

"You love Bella, too?" I whispered in awe.

She nodded, and brought both sets of fingers together, touching them both to her

mouth.

I sat back in astonishment. I knew exactly what she was telling me.

She loved us both.

- 104 -

And, she wanted us together.

I leaned forward, kissing her sweet head gently.

"Daddy's gonna try okay, Babygirl?"

She nodded happily and scrambled off my lap, heading towards the kitchen, where

Bella was.

I sat quietly, thinking about what she had just indicated to me.

She wanted us to be a family. I knew I had understood her meaning perfectly.

I shook my head because even though it was too soon, I wanted it as well. It just

felt so right, no natural when Bella was with us. It was as if she was the missing
piece that completed Emma and I, and made us a family.

Knock it off, Cullen, I hissed to myself.

Too fast, too much, too soon. It was crazy to even think about it.

Yet, the thought warmed my heart and made me smile.

The only thing that kept me going the next three days was Bella. Between her and

my mother, Emma was looked after, picked up, dropped off, cared for, loved and
completely enveloped in attention; so much so, that I doubted she even missed me.
But I wasn't ignored, either. When I was married to Tanya and worked double shifts,
it was simply a given that aside from a call for me to talk to Emma in the morning
and/or evening, I was on my own. So to say I was surprised the first day when I saw
Bella standing at the desk waiting for me would be an understatement. As I
approached her, she looked up smiling nervously. I arched my eyebrow and she
nodded, letting me know Emma was fine. Silently, I held out my hand and she
reached out to clasp it and I escorted her into an empty examination room. As soon
as the door shut behind us I pulled her into my arms and kissed her deeply. "I'm not
complaining, but why are you here?" I asked breathlessly as I pulled away.

Bella smiled as she held up a bag I hadn't noticed. "I brought you lunch and a

snack for later."

I looked at her in astonishment. "Really?

- 105 -

"Is that okay?"

"Bella. It's more than okay. It's amazing," I said quietly, my voice expressing my

wonder. "I'm not used to being, ah, looked after like this." I kissed her gently.
"Thank you."

"Get used to it," she whispered, reaching up for another kiss. Groaning softly, I

pulled her closer, kissing her passionately, losing myself in her for just the briefest
of moments before we were interrupted with the noise on the ward.

I pulled back, shaking my head. "I hate this," I muttered. "It's been so busy, I can

barely think."

Bella laughed. "No, you don't. You love it. And, you are an amazing doctor. Now go

and heal people. I have little bees waiting for me."

I smiled sadly. "I won't see you tonight- I have a double. And again tomorrow."

She smiled at me and winked. "Guess it's a good thing I always have extra food for

lunch then, Dr. Cullen. Pop in anytime and see your daughter."

"Just my daughter?" I arched an eyebrow at her playfully, grinning as I watched

her cheeks color.

She ducked her head shyly. "Well, the QB would love to see you as well," she

admitted softly.

I chuckled as I opened the door to let her get back to the daycare.

"Best news I've had all day, Bella."

By Thursday I was getting tired. Standing with Jacob, I was surprised to see Leah

walking down the hall towards me. Jacob looked up, whistling under his breath. She
smiled as she handed me a bag. "Delivery service?" I grinned her. "Where is Bella?
Everything okay?"

Leah nodded. "One of the children isn't well and Bella won't leave them. They are

running a really high fever. She asked me to bring you this."

I frowned. "Does she need me to come back with you and look them over?"

- 106 -

Jacob stepped forward. "I'll do it."

We both looked at him. Jacob offered his hand to Leah. "Dr. Jacob Black. I'm free

right now. Edward can eat his lunch and I'll come to the daycare."

Leah glanced at him briefly, ignored his hand, and then shook her head. "No, the

parents are coming." She turned back to me, ignoring Jacob's stare. "Bella just
wanted to make sure you got lunch, Edward."

"Really, it's no problem," Jacob insisted. "I'll just get my bag."

I felt my lips twitch at Jacob's uncharacteristic insistence of helping out. No doubt

it was more to impress the pretty lady standing in front of us, than the actual
concern for the child.

Leah's voice and glance were both cool. "Thank you, Dr. Black, but Bella has it

under control. Enjoy your lunch, Edward."

She turned and walked away, effectively dismissing Jacob.

He looked at me, his eyes narrowed. "Why are you Edward and I'm Dr. Black?"

I shook my head at him as I opened the bag to see what goodies Bella had sent

me. She was incredible. "She is one of my daughter's caregivers, Jacob. I see her
every day. She just met you, and she doesn't know you." Unable to help myself, I
added, "and she was just showing respect to her elder."

"I'm not that much older than she is," he growled at me. "You could have insisted I

go and look after the sick kid. That would have given her a chance to get to know
me," he huffed. "Maybe if I got to know her, she'd bring me lunch."

I laughed. "Like you would want lunch, Jacob. She's a nice girl. I don't think she is

up for any of your games. Leave her alone." I grabbed my bag and handed him a
chart.

"What's this?"

I grinned. "You said you were free. You can have that patient while I eat my

lunch."

"That's not what I meant!"

- 107 -

I shrugged.

Jacob stared at me. "I don't think I like how things have taken shape since you

showed up, Cullen. You are seriously putting a dent in my mojo."

I chuckled as I walked towards the staff room.

"I'm not that much older than she is either!" he shouted after me. "And I like

lunch!"

I shook my head, unable to stop the laughter.

I think Leah had just struck a nerve with Jacob.

How interesting.

See you later this week!

- 108 -

Chapter 19

Okay... possible Kleenex warning. Certainly an angst warning.

Thanks to Liz and Mid-Night.

Thank you for reading and supporting... come join us on Edwards Eternal's

Love of words on Facebook. Lots of giggles and discussions.

Finally, it was Friday. I looked at the clock with longing. It was noon. Four more

hours and I was done. I wasn't due back until Sunday at 6am. I was exhausted,
having been going with next to no sleep since Tuesday. The ER and clinic had been
crazy the past few days and being short-staffed we were run off our feet. Those of us
that were left were all tired and cranky, existing on caffeine and the hope of a day
off to recharge.

Apart from quick visits, when I ran over to the daycare on short breaks between

patients, I hadn't seen Emma in days. I missed my Babygirl so much. This was the
longest time I had been apart from her since Tanya walked out on us. And, due to an
outbreak of the same flu bug hitting the staff at the daycare, when I did see Bella
she was so busy all I got was a smile and a wave on my quick visits.

Four more hours. In four hours I could get my girls, sit over another one of Bella's

pizza monstrosities with a glass of wine and listen to her tell me about their week
while I cuddled Emma. Then, once Emma was tucked up in bed for the night, I had
some serious time to make up for, in regards to kissing Bella. I hadn't kissed her
since Tuesday afternoon. Unacceptable. And then, I planned on a long sleep to
recharge. That was all I wanted. I smiled just thinking about it.

But, now, it was 4pm and I shut my locker, sitting down heavily in front of it. What

I wanted and what I was going to get were probably two entirely different things.
The afternoon had been horrendous. The head of the department and I had clashed
several times over my decisions regarding patient care. I'd been yelled at, thrown-up
on, cursed out and even lost my temper with Jake. Despite being told not to, he had
gone to the daycare to ensure the sick child Bella was tending was, indeed, okay.
Then, he took it upon himself to drop by the daycare daily just to keep an eye on
things. Or, in other words, to ogle Leah. This afternoon, after listening to his
incessant chatter in regards to her long list of virtues, I snapped and told him to
leave her alone and grow up. He didn't like being referred to as a creeper it seemed
and had been unnaturally quiet the rest of the shift. Then, at 3pm just when I

- 109 -

thought the day couldn't get any worse, Dr. Garrett caught me between patients to
tell me we were now down another staff member and I needed to be here the next
day at four. Jake would take the first half of the shift so I would have a break, but
nonetheless I had just picked up some extra hours I didn't want.

So now I was hungry, exhausted, my patience was short and I had the beginnings

of a huge headache coming on. Not a good combination. I toyed with the idea of
dropping Emma back at Mom's and asking Bella for a rain check, but I had missed
both of them so much I didn't want to give up the chance of a few hours with them. I
could sleep later. And, I knew Bella would have lots to tell me about their visit to the
farm and how Emma had enjoyed it. I still felt badly I had to miss it, and was looking
forward to hearing about their adventures.

Wearily, I stood up. I wanted some time with my girls more than anything. I

needed it.

I arrived at the daycare amidst the chaos of parents picking their children up.

There was lots of laughing and little ones running around. I spotted Emma sitting in
the corner with Leah beside her, talking, and I made my way over. When I got close,
I could see Emma holding something, her face bent low over it, but, it wasn't until I
knelt beside her that I saw what it was.

A kitten. A small, rather straggly looking one at that.

Emma was holding the little bundle of fur closely and stroking it gently. She

looked up when I was in front of her and her eyes crinkled at the corners as she
smiled at me.

I smiled back and looked at Leah, confused. "Do you have a new furry bee here

now?"

Leah laughed. "Bella brought the kitten back with us from the farm."

I leaned forward and scratched its tiny ears. "Bella got a kitten?"

Leah leaned closer, her voice low. "Emma sort of fell in love with it, so it came

back with us."

I looked at her in horror. Surely she wasn't saying what I thought she was saying.

Bella wouldn't do this. She wouldn't.

I looked down at Emma, who was watching me with wide eyes. She lifted her

- 110 -

fingers to her lips and then touched them to the top of the kitten's head, silently
telling me she loved it.

Fuck.

"Edward…" Leah's voice trailed off as I stood up.

"Where is Bella?" I asked, keeping my voice calm.

"She is just finishing with another parent. I don't think you understand…"

I held up my hand silencing her. I wanted to hear this from Bella. I looked over

and saw Bella saying goodbye to another parent at her door and I made my way
over.

She smiled as I approached, her eyes dancing with excitement. "Can I speak with

you…privately?" I asked in choked voice.

Her smile disappeared and she frowned, indicating her office door. "Certainly."

I turned to her once inside.

"What the hell, Bella? You brought a kitten back from the farm? For Emma?"

She looked at me, her voice soft. "Edward, let me explain."

"Yes, do. Because I would love to hear this."

She shook her head. "Why are you so upset?"

"I can barely keep up right now, Bella, and now you want to add a pet to the

mix…without even consulting me? I don't want a kitten. I don't have time for a
kitten; I don't even know the first thing about caring for one."

"No, Edward, wait. Something happened…"

"No, you wait," I barked, my anger peaking. "What right do you have to make a

decision like that? Do you know what this is going to do to her when I go out there
and tell her she can't take it home?"

"You don't have to do that, Edward. Let me…"

- 111 -

I snapped.

"This is great for you, isn't it?" I hissed, interrupting her. "You get to be the good

guy here. She likes a kitten so you get it for her...without asking me. Now I have to
be the bad guy and tell her no. There's a good chance this will push her back into no
communication at all! What the hell were you thinking Bella?"

She became paler, but stood straight, still shaking her head.

"Sit down, Edward. Let me explain. Please. I know, once you hear…"

"There is nothing to explain, Bella. You are out of line on this. Completely out of

line. You had no right to make a decision like this regarding my daughter." I shook
my head, wanting to stop the pain and anger. "I'm not going to be the bad guy again.
You did this. Now fix it."

She regarded me quietly, a look of pain on her face.

"Edward, I need you to listen to me."

"No. I am her parent. I make the decisions. You're her caregiver. You are not her

mother."

She reared back as if I had slapped her, a soft gasp slipping from her lips.

Immediately, I regretted my words.

"Oh God, Bella. I didn't mean…"

She held up her hand, her face a mask of pain. "Of course. You are completely

right, Dr. Cullen. I am not her mother." Her voice lowered in pain. "I'll never be
anyone's mother. I apologize if you feel I have overstepped. Excuse me."

She quickly turned around and left the office. I watched her go, my anger already

leaving me, and shame replacing it.

I sat down, my aching head in my hands, my thoughts running rampant as I

relived what had just transpired.

I had overreacted. I was tired, stressed and I took it out on Bella. I hadn't even

listened to what she was trying to tell me. I had just hurt her... deeply. My words
were cruel and could not have been more deadly; I knew without a doubt, nothing I

- 112 -

could have said would have hurt her more. And now, I was compounding my horrid
behavior by making her take something away from Emma that she wanted. My
Emma, who hadn't asked me for a thing since her mother walked out on her.

I stood up to go and find her, only to see Leah standing uncertainly in the doorway

with Emma. "Um, Emma is ready to go now, Dr. Cullen."

Ah, I was back to being Dr. Cullen with Leah as well.

"Can you ask Bella to come back please, Leah?"

"She had to leave, Dr. Cullen. She, um, had an appointment. She asked me to

make sure Emma was ready for you."

I nodded, not surprised. Bella was upset and hurt. I looked down at Emma,

expecting to find eyes filled with tears, but they were clear. She looked sad but not
as upset as I had assumed she would be. Tentatively, I held out my hand and she
walked towards me without hesitation, holding out her arms for me to lift her as she
got close. Her lips brushing my cheek made my throat tighten. "Are you okay,
Babygirl? I asked quietly. "Are you angry with Daddy?"

Her brow furrowed as she shook her head and kissed me again, then used her sign

to tell me she loved me. I sighed. I had no idea what Bella had said to her, but
whatever it was I was grateful. Emma seemed sad, but not upset.

Now, if I could only say the same about Bella.

I walked out into the daycare that was now fairly empty. I looked around, trying to

decide if I should attempt to go find Bella or just leave and call her later.

"She really is gone, Dr. Cullen," Leah murmured.

"Okay," I nodded, defeated. "But, it's Edward, Leah. Just Edward."

She smiled softly. "It's not what you think, Edward. Maybe you need some sleep

and then you should listen to what someone is trying to tell you."

I looked at her.

"I think maybe I just messed up so badly that sleep isn't gonna help, Leah."

"My mom always told me things look better in the morning, Edward," she said

- 113 -

softly. "Everything seems worse when you are tired." She paused, her voice so quiet
I could barely hear her. "And, just for the record, Edward? Bella always planned on
taking the kitten home with her."

I stopped and stared at her. "That's part of what she was trying to tell you."

My stomach clenched at her words.

Silently, I nodded, and carried Emma out to the car. Bella's truck was not in its

usual spot.

I had chased her away from the one place she loved more than anything… again.

And, I had hurt her.

Tired didn't describe how I was feeling at the moment.

So Edward has had a bad day. And he just made it worse with his temper.

How will he fix this? Can he fix this?

Remember my mantra. See you on the weekend...

- 114 -

Chapter 20

Wow - the reaction to the last chapter was pretty intense. Edward is

already feeling most of the sentiments you expressed and then some. Who
hasn't been there when you are so exhausted your thought process and
reactions are completely in shambles and you do something you regret
deeply. God knows I have.

So lets see what transpires now...

Thanks to Mid-Night for her lovely additions. They helped make it better.

Kleenex warning.

We sat down, only to have the same waitress as last time come over to our table.

She smiled as she saw us. "Oh dear, Mommy working tonight?" she asked brightly as
she handed me the menu.

I blinked at her and silently nodded, not really able to speak suddenly. She

chuckled. "You can always take her home some apple crumble, dear," she laughed as
she moved away. My heart clenched at the memories of the last time we were here.
The laughter and teasing from Bella. The way she made Emma smile. The feeling of
completeness she brought to the evening, and to me. The way we were together
with Emma.

The way it had felt to kiss her.

I reached into my pocket for my phone and texted her.

Our waitress wants to know where you are. So do I. I miss you. Emma misses you.

I am sorry. I am SO sorry.

I didn't expect a reply. I just wanted her to know.

I looked down at the menu, not in the least hungry. But, I had to feed Emma. I

ordered a couple of single pizzas and, with great effort, pulled Emma onto my lap
and pretended everything was fine. I asked her lots of questions about the farm,
which could be easily answered with a nod or the shake of her head. Although she
seemed to have enjoyed her day, it was when I hesitantly brought up the kitten that
she became very animated, her eyes shining as she smiled. She kissed her fingers

- 115 -

and showed me how she had played with and cuddled her little friend, telling me
without words how much she had loved it. Watching her, I knew how huge my
mistake had been. Bella had seen this reaction and had acted on it. She knew
somehow this kitten had opened something up in Emma. And done something about
it.

And what had I done?

I let unnecessary anger dictate my actions; which wasn't like me. I refused to

listen to the one person I should listen to. I knew now that Bella had been trying to
tell me something important and I hadn't even let her get a full sentence in. I was
heartless and cruel, and I had hurt her; with the most wounding words possible.

Not only was I an idiot, I was such a fucking bastard.

After her animation, Emma became quiet again and when the pizza arrived,

neither of us ate much. Emma's eyes kept darting to the door as if she expected
someone. As the minutes ticked by, she became almost motionless and disinterested
in both the dinner in front of her and the world around her. Our waitress clucked
over our lack of appetite and when she brought the leftovers back with the bill, she
told me I needed to go and take "Mommy" a treat and we would all feel better. I
smiled gratefully at her and on a whim asked for some crumble to go as well.

I would take it to Bella. I would tell her how sorry I was. I doubted she would open

her door but I would leave it for her. I would take the first step. I had to do
everything I could to try and get her to listen to me. To allow me to apologize. I
needed her to realize I knew I was so wrong. That I hadn't meant what I said; I was
tired and stressed and I took it out on her. While I knew that was no excuse, I was
still so deeply sorry for my actions.

Buckling Emma into her car seat, I smiled softly down at her sad face. I needed to

fix this…for her, as well as for me. I was disappointed when I pulled into the
apartment parking lot to find Bella's truck not in its spot. I looked at the container
beside me, undecided, then pulled up in front of her building anyway. I grabbed
Emma and we walked upstairs. I knocked but wasn't surprised when the door never
opened. Awkwardly, I tied the container to the doorknob and went back downstairs.
Maybe she was out with some friends. She would see it when she got home. Before I
drove away, I called her and as expected, it went straight to voicemail. I hesitated,
and then left her a message.

"Bella, it's Edward. I, ah, Emma and I missed you at supper. We left you some of

your favorite dessert. I hope it's there when you get home." I paused. "And, I hope

- 116 -

you're okay." I lowered my voice. "I am so…so…sorry. You have no idea how sorry I
am. Please give me a chance to tell you that in person. Please." I hung up and drove
us home, my throat tight with emotion.

I could feel Emma's spirit sagging even further when we got home. She barely

responded to the movie I put in, which usually made her smile and her little nose
wrinkle as she listened to the funny dialogue. She refused the popcorn, instead sat
holding on tightly to Mr. Floppy, not really even paying attention to the screen.
Afterwards, I filled the tub with bubbles and toys but she just sat listlessly staring
off into space. Fear trickled up my spine, watching her. It was as if we were back to
those first few days after Tanya had left. I dressed her in her favorite 'jammies' and
tucked her in; reaching over I grabbed the book I'd been reading to her off the night
table, only to see the bookmark had been moved. My fingers traced the page it was
now sitting on. I looked down at her to see her wide eyes regarding me sadly. "Did
Bella read this to you the last few nights?" I asked, smiling softly at her. She nodded,
her fingers reaching out for the book, touching the pages. I frowned as I watched
her shut the book again. "Don't you want Daddy to read this?"

She shook her head, taking the book and tucking it under her pillow.

"Did you want Daddy to read something else?"

She looked at me and shook her head 'no'. Leaning forward, I gently stroked her

soft curls. "Do you want Daddy to sing?"

Another head shake.

"Maybe tell you a story? A made up one?"

The saddest sigh emitted from her lips as she shook her head again. I felt a small

fissure begin to crack in my heart at the unhappy sound.

"Emma?" I whispered. "Show Daddy what you need. Please, Babygirl."

And then it happened. I watched in utter horror as tears gathered in her eyes and

began to drip down her chubby cheeks. Immediately, I reached down and lifted her
into my arms, rocking her, the shock almost overwhelming. She hadn't shed a tear
since the day Tanya walked out. Not once. I cooed softly into her ear, telling her how
much I loved her, what a good, brave girl she was, but the words didn't soothe her.
Her tiny body shook with the force of her sobs and I could feel my own tears welling
up at the sound of her pain. I had no idea what to do, or how to stop this.

- 117 -

I pulled back, looking into her unhappy face. "Tell Daddy, baby. Tell him what you

need. Daddy will make it better. I promise."

Little arms circled my neck and I pulled her close. Nothing prepared me for what

happened next.

Close to my ear. Raspy, soft and shaking, but I heard it. A whisper.

The softest, tiniest, most painful sound in the world.

Emma spoke.

"Bewwa."

I stumbled to the phone, my hand shaking so hard I dropped it twice before I was

able to dial Bella's number.

Her voicemail picked up immediately.

My voice was shaking and hoarse. "Bella. Please. Oh God. Please. Help me.

Emma." My voice broke and I had to take several breaths before I could continue. "I
know you're angry. I know. But she is crying, Bella. And she spoke. She asked for
you. We need you. Please."

I hung up, sliding down the wall, my legs giving out from the emotions pounding

through my body.

Emma had spoken.

And, she wanted Bella.

I picked up the phone again and dialed the emergency number, basically leaving

the same rambling message. I prayed Bella would get it. I prayed she would call
back; that she wouldn't allow Emma to suffer because I was an asshole. If she would
call back, I could let Emma hear her voice. I knew Emma needed to hear her voice.

The magnitude of what had just happened hit me again and my entire body shook

at the thought.

Emma had spoken. After months of agonizing silence, my Emma had spoken.

- 118 -

I drew in a shaky breath and went back into her room. She lay curled into a tight

ball, the tears now silently sliding down her cheeks. I sat beside her, stroking her
head, afraid to speak. I promised her I would make it better. What if Bella didn't get
her phone messages tonight?

I stopped stroking Emma's head for a minute as I used my cell phone and sent

Bella a text message. I begged her. For Emma.

I would do anything for her.

Please Bella. Emma. She is crying. She spoke. For you. Please. Help me. I hit the

send button and waited.

Nothing.

Bella, I know you hate me. I'm asking, I'm begging… for her. She needs to her

your voice. Please call.

Ten minutes passed and no call. I sat on Emma's bed, holding her, rocking her, as

she continued to cry, although the sobs had now become muted snuffling noises. I
was beside myself, unsure what to do next. My concentration was so intense on
Emma, that I was startled when I heard a soft noise. Looking up, I saw Bella
standing in Emma's door, her face pale and eyes glistening. Tucked under one arm
was the kitten. I stood up, breathing her name. Emma's head snapped up and
instantly her arms reached out to Bella. I watched in painful gratitude as Bella
stepped forward, first transferring the kitten into Emma's waiting embrace and then
gathering both of them into her loving arms, pulling Emma away from my trembling
form.

I slid down to the floor and allowed my head to fall forward. I felt the bed dip

behind me as Bella sat down. I could hear her murmuring to Emma, soft loving
sounds of comfort, and could feel her movements as she stroked Emma's back. My
hand reached up to rub Emma's leg, and when I felt Bella's hand cover mine and
squeeze it in silent support, I wrapped mine around hers, not wanting to let go.

Bella was here.

What it meant, I had no idea.

If it was just for Emma, I would be forever grateful.

But, as I sat there feeling as much comfort in her gentle, loving presence as Emma

- 119 -

did, I prayed it was more.

Rare as it is, I cried over this one. Emma's little heartbreak. Killed me.

And Bella came. Now what happens?

See you on Wednesday...

- 120 -

Chapter 21

Wow... your response to the last chapter... just amazing. Thank you. Your

words move me and how you have fallen for these characters... just amazes
me.

Midnight worked her magic on this. Thank God.

I had no idea how much time had passed. The room became quiet, broken only by

the sound of soft breaths and gentle stroking hands.

"Edward." Bella's voice was low.

My head snapped up and I looked at her with weary, grateful eyes.

"She's asleep. I'll tuck her in."

I sluggishly stood up, my body wearily groaning in protest.

"I've got her, Edward. Go into the living room and sit down, please."

My voice was tight. "Thank you. For being here for her."

Her eyes looked up at me sadly. "I didn't just do it for her, Edward."

"Can you forgive me?" The words were out before I could stop them.

She sighed and turned back to Emma. "Not now, Edward."

I nodded in defeat. "I deserve for you to hate me," I mumbled to myself.

I walked to the door slowly, with my head down, the exhaustion and emotional toll

of the day making itself known.

"Edward?"

I turned. Bella was tucking Emma in, settling the sleeping kitten beside her. I

watched as she gently kissed Emma's forehead before turning to look at me, finding
my watery eyes.

- 121 -

"I don't hate you."

I managed to make it to the sofa before the tears started.

I felt Bella's hand under my chin and I raised my face, but didn't open my eyes. I

sighed as I felt the cool cloth softly pass over my cheeks and eyes, wiping away the
hot tears that had burnt their way down my face. A glass was pressed into my hand.
"Drink, Edward."

I smelled the alcohol before the glass reached my nose and I tossed back the

contents, shuddering as I swallowed. I opened my eyes to see Bella standing in front
of me, watching me, clearly worried.

"She's asleep."

"Thank you."

Leaning down, she placed a key on the coffee table. "Your mom had a copy made

for me. I don't feel right keeping it."

I sat up abruptly. "No, Bella, please."

She smiled sadly, ignoring my plea. "Edward, you need to make sure Emma

understands she will see me on Monday. And, that I'll have Rags with me. It's very
important that she knows neither of us are abandoning her. I thought I had
explained that to her so she understood."

"Rags?"

"The kitten. We named him Rags because we found him sleeping on a pile of rags

in the barn." She was quiet for a moment. "I will call her in the morning if that's
okay and talk to her again. Maybe that would help."

"Leave the kitten."

Stay with me, I begged in my head.

She shook her head. "You have no way of caring for it, Edward." She sighed softly.

"I wasn't planning on sending it home with you earlier. It was…" her voice trailed
off. "Well, it doesn't matter." She turned to leave and my hand shot out to stop her.

- 122 -

"Bella, please, wait."

She regarded me patiently.

"It does matter. Talk to me. Give me a chance to talk to you. To apologize. I know I

jumped to the wrong conclusion. I know I didn't listen to you when you tried to tell
me what was happening." I leaned forward, my voice dropping in sorrow. "I said
some terrible, hurtful things. I didn't mean them, Bella. I swear. I was angry, tired
and stressed." I shook my head. "I acted like a complete asshole."

She shook her head. "And you are still tired, Edward. In fact, you're exhausted.

And, we are both so emotionally overwrought right now; it's not a good combination
for a serious conversation." She gently pulled her hand away. "I don't think there
will be anything left between us if one of us says something else in anger."

I stood up and stepped towards her; my eyes pleading. "Is there anything left now,

Bella?"

She sighed. "I don't know, Edward. Even when said in anger, people tend to speak

things they are already thinking."

Closing my eyes, I shook my head. "I have so much I want to say to you, Bella. Do

you think you could find it in yourself to be a better person than I am and listen,
please?" I waited and when she didn't respond, I spoke again. "I was an asshole." I
snorted. "Worse. A cruel, thoughtless bastard. I said something totally ludicrous and
stupid. You are not just her caregiver. What you are doesn't even have a description.
What you mean… to both of us…I can't even describe adequately." My voice caught.
"She cried, Bella. She spoke your name. It was you she wanted. After months of
silence the first word she said was your name. Do you understand how huge that is?"

She nodded and a tear ran down her cheek. "I do, Edward. And I will be there for

her. I will."

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. "But not for me? I've fucked

this up so badly that you can't forgive me?"

"You hurt me… so much," she whispered brokenly. "There wasn't anything else

you could have said to me that would hurt that badly."

"I know. And I regret it…deeply." I stepped forward. "I didn't mean it, Bella. I

swear I didn't. It was thoughtless and cruel and it wasn't me. That's not who I am. I
fucked up. I know I did. You have no idea how much I regret those words."

- 123 -

"I want to believe that," she whispered.

Closing the distance between us, I wrapped my arms around her stiff body. "You

can. Give me another chance. Please."

She allowed me to hold her briefly before she stepped back. I released her

regretfully and stood back, swaying slightly.

"Did you eat?" she asked quietly.

I shrugged. "Not really." I looked at her. "Did you?"

"I had lunch. Didn't you eat today at all?"

I shrugged my shoulders again sheepishly. "No. I've been spoiled all week with

lunches by a special girl, but today, because she wasn't around, I just forgot."

She shook her head. I felt her push against my chest and I sat down heavily on the

couch. She turned and walked away. "Bella?"

"I wanted you to sit down before you fall down, Edward. I'll be right back."

The light snapped on in the kitchen. Leaning my head back, I allowed my eyes to

shut as I listened to Bella moving around in the next room. My eyes ached and I just
needed to rest them for a moment.

Just for a moment.

I sat up startled and disoriented. My eyes looked around the darkened room. A

small lamp was burning in the corner, but it was late into the night and the rest of
the house was dark and silent. I looked down at the blanket that was covering me.
How did that get there? The last thing I remembered was Bella going into the
kitchen to make me something to eat.

Bella.

Emma.

I stood up painfully, my body protesting at the strange angle I had been sleeping

in. I quickly made my way down the hall ignoring the stiffness. Obviously I had fallen

- 124 -

asleep and Bella had left; I had no idea if Emma was still asleep and if she was okay.
Emma's door was open, the soft glow from her nightlight spilling out into the hall.
Reaching her doorway I stopped, my heart filled suddenly with the sweetness of the
picture in front of me. Emma curled into a tiny ball, wrapped in the protective
embrace of Bella who was asleep beside her on the far side of the double bed.
Emma's little head was nestled peacefully on Bella's chest and stretched across
them was Rags the kitten, who looked at me, blinking, before stretching and curling
back up, burying his head back into the warmth of his two cozy bedmates.

She had stayed. Bella had stayed.

I quietly moved forward and drew a warm blanket up around my girls. I hesitated,

then sat down on the bed and looked at them before leaning forward, softly stroking
Emma's curls, marvelling at her sweetness. My beautiful Babygirl. Slowly, I lay
down behind Emma and reached over, my hand settling on Bella's head and I gently
caressed her in a silent, unknown, thank you. I watched her sleeping, my daughter
safely held in her arms and I prayed for another chance. I hoped that when the
morning came, she would let me apologize again and stay with me. With us.

My eyes were once again growing heavy and I moved my arm down, encasing

Bella's hand in mine. Now we both had Emma. I could feel myself drifting back into
sleep as I listened to their deep even breathing. I felt Bella's hand flex and slowly
grip my hand before relaxing again.

Contentment curled around my heart. Just for the briefest moment, everything

was okay.

And I slept.

And now you have to wait to the weekend... be good.

- 125 -

Chapter 22

Hello... and thank you. That is all I have to say. Thank you so much.

Oh and yeah... you may want some Kleenex.

Fractured memories and images were swimming in my head as I slowly woke up.

Lying down beside Emma and Bella.

Holding Bella's hand.

The feeling of warm fur nestled against my chest.

The sensation of a small rough tongue licking my cheek.

A gentle hand caressing my head.

A sad sigh.

The softest, quietest of whispers.

A wisp of a giggle.

My eyes flew open.

The strongest recollection echoed in my head repeatedly. I knew that giggle.

Emma.

The bed was empty. I looked at my watch, shocked to see it was eight in the

morning and that I had slept for hours. Groaning, I stood up and made my way to
the living room, where a quiet conversation was happening. I stood in the doorway
watching Bella talking to Emma, who was clasping Rags to her chest. Whatever
Bella was saying to her, Emma was listening intently, her head nodding. I cleared
my throat softly, not wanting to startle them. Two very different, yet beautiful, sets
of blue eyes looked at me. Smiling, I went over and hunched down in front of Emma,
quickly assessing her before kissing her forehead. Her wide, expressive eyes were
peaceful this morning, the pain and sadness of last night now gone. "Hi, Babygirl."

- 126 -

Her sweet smile lit up her face and she held up Rags. Unsure of what she wanted,

I looked at Bella for direction. "She thinks you should kiss Rags good morning as
well, Edward." She chuckled warmly. "He was kissing you earlier."

Ah. The rough little tongue.

After dropping a kiss on his furry little head, I stood up. Then, in keeping with the

tradition, I leaned over and kissed Bella's head as well.

Beside me, Emma cooed quietly, her face once again buried into the kitten. It was

the same muted noise of joy she had made when she saw Bella and I kiss at the
daycare.

Bella stood up and smiled at Emma. "Do you want to watch some cartoons with

Rags?"

Emma nodded and sat back on the couch, laying Rags on her knee, patting him

gently. I was amazed at how relaxed Rags was in her arms. He lay there soaking up
the attention, not moving or squirming away the way I expected him to be.

"You remember what I told you, Emma?" Bella asked softly, leaning down. "About

what Rags needs?"

Emma nodded furiously and looked up at me from under her lashes. She glanced

over at Bella who put her hand on my arm.

"Come on, Edward."

Confused, I followed her into the kitchen.

"Sit down."

I did what she told me to do, silently. I wasn't sure what was going on and I was

looking to Bella for guidance.

A cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes and bacon were sat in front of me.

"Eat."

The aroma hit me and I realized how hungry I was, and how many meals I had

missed. I picked up my utensils and dug in.

- 127 -

We were both quiet as I devoured my food.

"I spoke to your mom. She'll be here to pick up Emma for the afternoon. I'll get

her later and bring her home."

My brow furrowed as I swallowed a mouthful of sweet goodness.

"How did you know my shift changed?"

She sighed. "Jacob told Leah. She told me."

"Jake told Leah?" Now I was totally confused.

She shrugged and smiled softly. "He can be charming. And Leah quite likes him.

She just isn't letting him know that…yet." She paused. "They went for coffee last
night and Jake told her. He said you had a pretty rough day and to top it off got
more hours added on. She…she thought I'd want to know."

I couldn't help the grin that tugged on my mouth. "Jacob took someone for coffee

"It was the only "date" Leah would agree to. Like I said, he can be charming,"

Bella chuckled.

I pushed my empty plate away, both of us silent for a minute. I watched Bella as I

sipped my coffee. She looked tired and pale, but not as distressed as she had looked
last night. She had stayed last night and she was planning on picking up Emma later
for me. I wasn't exactly sure where we stood or what was happening, and I had to
find out.

I cleared my throat, and kept my voice gentle. "You stayed last night, Bella."

She nodded.

I drew in a deep breath, and looked directly into her eyes. "Because of Emma?"

Her voice was quiet. "Not just because of Emma."

I leaned over and grasped her hand.

"Bella, I can't take back what I said. I wish I could. Because I didn't mean it. I

didn't. I overreacted. I was so out of line."

- 128 -

She nodded and regarded me silently.

"I know you aren't ready to forgive me just yet, but could you please tell me what

happened yesterday? Just talk to me."

"You do need to know, Edward. You need to understand." She drew in a deep

breath. "My name isn't the first word Emma spoke yesterday."

I remembered the look of excitement on Bella's face as I had walked over to her

yesterday. Before I had killed the moment with my harsh words.

My throat tightened. "Tell me please."

Bella leaned forward, speaking quietly. "We'd been at the farm for about an hour

and we were in one of the barns. Farmer Billy has about six of them all set up with
animals for the kids to pet and play with."

"Emma must have loved that."

Bella nodded, smiling at the memory. "She did. She patted them all and smiled,

but she didn't leave my side."

That didn't surprise me. She adored Bella.

"I wanted to see if she was drawn to any of the animals. I had been reading about

using animals for therapy. I thought it might help Emma. But, she simply patted
them all and then moved on." Bella sighed and shook her head.

"But something happened?" I prompted softly.

"Yes. There was a litter of kittens in one barn and of course, they all loved that.

Emma was standing beside me and I was showing some of the younger children how
to pet the kittens gently. I turned to her to see if she wanted to pet one, but when I
looked down she was gone."

"Gone?"

Bella nodded. "I looked over and saw her in the corner of the barn looking at

something and Billy's wife was talking to her. When I went over, Emma was sitting
on the ground beside a pile of scraps and rags. And, curled up in the middle of it was
Rags. Emma was petting him."

- 129 -

"Mrs. B told me the kitten was the runt of another litter and his mother had

rejected him. She kept him in this barn and fed him herself. She was surprised to
see him accepting attention from Emma so easily since he usually hid from the kids
when they were there. He was always alone and she had never heard him make any
noise."

Bella sighed in wonder. "It was the strangest thing, Edward. The kitten suddenly

stood and crawled into Emma's lap. Mrs. B almost fell over…she had never seen him
do that before."

"What did Emma do? "I whispered, my hand tightening on hers.

Bella's eyes filled with tears. "She picked him up and just held him and rocked

him, like she was comforting him." Bella looked at me. "Just like I have seen you do
to her so many times, Edward. She was showing him love. And then…then she began
whispering to him, very softly."

My eyes widened remembering the tiny whispers beside me in the night.

"Bella," I breathed.

She nodded as a tear slipped down her cheek. "It was the most amazing thing I've

ever seen, Edward. Emma just kept holding him, rocking him, and putting her face
down and whispering to him and the kitten just laid there soaking up all the love she
was giving him."

I looked at her in wonder. "Because he is like her. He was abandoned too."

She nodded, lifting a hand to wipe away the tears that were flowing down her

cheeks. "The kitten started making these little noises back at her. It was just so…I
can't even describe it, Edward. Mrs. B was crying at this point. She said the kitten
had never meowed before. Never made a noise."

I moved my chair closer to hers. Reaching up, I wiped away the tears that were

still flowing down her cheeks, struggling to hold my own in. "Tell me what happened
next, please."

"I just stood and watched them for a little while. I had Leah and the other women

move on to the next barn with the rest of them and we stayed behind. I couldn't bear
the thought of separating them."

"Of course you couldn't." I shook my head. "I wouldn't have been able to either,

- 130 -

Bella."

"Rags is the key here, Edward. I knew I had to bring the kitten back with us. That

somehow Emma needed this kitten to love and to get better. I had to keep that
kitten close to Emma."

She was right.

She got up and walked over to the counter, turning and looking back at me. "But, I

didn't plan on sending it home with her…especially without talking to you first. In
fact, I was going to leave it at the farm and talk to you about it last night. Mrs. B was
thrilled the kitten would have a home, either with Emma or with me, and was happy
to let him stay until we came back. But then…"

"Then what? Tell me, Bella."

"Then Emma looked at me and did her little finger gesture to the kitten, Edward.

And said 'please'.

"It was just a whisper, but she said it. She said please, Edward."

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

I got up and went over to her, gathering her hands with mine. "Tell me what you

had planned, Bella."

She shrugged one shoulder self-consciously. "I didn't really have a plan, Edward. I

was just going on instinct. Somehow Emma connected with another abandoned soul
and she wanted to make it better. I sat down with her and explained the only way
the kitten would get better was if he had a home where it was loved and talked to.
That he needed to hear loving voices and kind words. I asked her if she wanted me
to take the kitten home with me and bring it to the daycare for visits until she was
able to talk to him more. She could practice talking to him, quietly, every day."

I shut my eyes, shaking my head. "You never told her he would be coming here

right away." That was why Emma hadn't been upset at first. It was Bella's continued
absence that upset her.

"No. I knew I had to talk to you first, but I also knew once you saw what I did, how

Emma had responded to Rags, you would definitely want the kitten here. Leah sort
of jumped the gun when she told you Emma fell in love with the kitten. She didn't
mean to…she was just as excited as I was about what had happened. She realizes

- 131 -

how it must have sounded to you and she feels terrible that she spoke out of turn."

"No. I spoke out of turn. This is all my fault. I'll apologize to Leah on Monday." My

hands gripped hers tightly. "But not before I apologize to you. Again. And, beg for
your forgiveness."

Bella's eyes were tired as they looked into mine.

"That wasn't me last night, Bella. That's not who I am. I was the one out of line." I

drew in a deep breath. "I was thoughtless and cruel." I shook my head, remembering
the harsh words I had flung at her. "I was no better than Tanya."

Bella's eyes widened in shock. "Don't say that. You are nothing like her. She was

deliberately cruel, Edward, and you are not a cruel person. I know what happened
last night wasn't normal for you." Her voice dropped. "I wouldn't be here if I thought
it was."

A spark of hope flickered. My voice shook as I tried to control my emotions.

"Please, Bella. Tell me you will find it in your heart to forgive me."

"I don't have to find it, Edward. I already have."

Relief tore through me as I crushed her to my chest, holding her tightly. "I'll never

hurt you like that again, Bella. I promise."

Her painful sob broke me.

"Don't baby, please don't cry," I murmured as I rocked her gently.

"It felt worse than Mike walking out on me," she whispered brokenly.

"I'm not walking away, Bella. I'm here." I pulled back. "Emma's here. We both

want you here." My fingers stroked her soft cheek. "You make us a family, Bella."

Her eyes widened and more tears gathered in the corners. Leaning down, I kissed

the salty tracks on her cheeks gently and wrapped her back into my arms.

"Let me show you I can do better, please, Bella," I begged. "Let me show you what

you mean to me." I held her even tighter as I felt a shudder run through her.

"I'm not letting go," I whispered.

- 132 -

"I don't want you to, Edward."

I stood holding her, grateful for the second chance, praying I was what she

needed me to be. Because she was everything I needed.

For some of you her forgiveness is too soon, for others just right... for me

it was how the story unfolded. He overreacted, hurt her, and regretted it
deeply. She knows it was not his intention, nor his usual reaction and we all
make mistakes. You choose to forgive, you grow and you move on. Thats
what happens when you love someone.

See you later this week... 2 updates again for you.

- 133 -

Chapter 23

Hello to all of you. Thank you for your lovely response to the last chapter.

You were all so pleased at the forgiveness she showed to him. And now we
move on...

Thanks to Liz and Mid-Night. They make this better. And Dream... you

ARE my sunshine. Thank you.

I think you will enjoy this one... I did.

We stood together quietly before Bella pulled back. "We should check on Emma,"

she whispered. "And then, I should go home."

My heart dropped. I looked down at her, stricken. Just the thought of her leaving

filled me with a sense of loss.

"What is it, Edward?"

"I don't want you to go," I admitted quietly. I wanted her here with me. I wanted

her close.

She sighed softly. "Your mom will be here in a couple hours, Edward. You need to

sleep some more before you go back to the hospital and I have work waiting."

Softly, I traced the circles under her eyes. "You need some more sleep as well."

"I will. I'll go home and have a nap then go into the centre for a bit. I have a lot of

work to catch up on."

"That's because you were so busy looking after me and my responsibilities this

week, Bella. I haven't thanked you properly for that. I'm still trying to figure out this
single father thing, and if it hadn't been for you and my parents I'm not sure how I
would have gotten through the past week." I shook my head, "And then yesterday…I
can't say sorry enough for my horrible behavior."

"Stop it, Edward. It's over and done. We move on. Yes, I was busier than normal

this week, but I wouldn't trade my time with Emma for anything. We'll figure this
out, together, okay?"

- 134 -

I stroked her cheek as I smiled. Together. I liked that. "She loved every moment as

well."

Bella smiled. "Let's go and see how she and Rags are doing. I'll stay for a little

while, okay?"

I nodded happily. I wanted her to stay forever, but I'd take what I could get...for

now. "What are we going to do about Rags, Bella? Does he need to be looked at by a
vet? He needs…stuff…right? Like food and litter?"

"I took him to the vet last night, Edward, and then went and bought the supplies

to look after him. That was where I went after I left the daycare. I had his stuff in
the truck with me when I came to the house last night and I brought it in after you
fell asleep. Now, we have to decide if he stays here or comes home with me."

"You really had an appointment last night then? I thought I had chased you away

again," I confessed remorsefully.

"I was…grateful to leave, I admit," she said softly. "But, I had called the mother of

one of the children who happens to be a vet and she let me bring the kitten in right
away to be checked over."

I pulled her into my arms, internally cursing myself, again, for my behavior last

night. Despite being upset, she had still gone ahead with helping Emma. "Thank
you."

"I think it's best if I take him with me when I go. Emma knows he can't stay here

all the time just yet, Edward."

"Will she be okay?" I asked anxiously, remembering last night.

Bella nodded. "I need to do this, Edward. We need to give her a goal, a reason to

talk. She wants Rags. She needs to ask for him. I'll make sure she knows I'll bring
him back later."

I closed my eyes. "I want this to work, Bella. So badly. I just don't want her upset.

It kills me."

She smiled. "I know, Edward. So do I. But, if we just let her have him there is no

incentive; this won't work…can you understand that?"

I nodded.

- 135 -

She smiled encouragingly. "I think it's already working, Edward. She is

whispering to him. She said a couple of words loud enough for us to hear her. We
need to keep moving forward now. We need to move from whispering to talking. And
not just to Rags." She paused. "Are you in?"

I smiled and kissed her tenderly. "All in, Bella."

Arm in arm we went into the living room. Emma was still curled up on the couch,

Rags snuggled into her chest. She was pointing to something on the TV and
whispering away, Rags simply looking up at her adoringly. As we approached,
though, the whispering stopped and she became quiet. I looked over to Bella,
frowning, unsure as to why Emma stopped whispering when I was around. Bella
shook her head in silent warning and we sat down beside Emma, sandwiching her
between us. Emma looked from side to side and smiled brightly at both of us before
turning her attention back to the TV. I rested my arm across the back of the sofa and
she snuggled into my side, Rags draping himself happily over both of us. My hand
sought out Bella's soft hair and I stroked it gently. I heard her sigh gently and
realized the sigh I had heard in the dim recollections of waking up this morning had
been hers. She must have been stroking my head while I slept. I looked over at her
to find her gazing at me warmly. My hand cupped the back of her head in a silent
thank you and she smiled.

Settling back, I relaxed, enjoying some time with my girls before we had to

separate for the day, grateful I had been given the chance to have them both with
me again.

Two hours into my shift, my eyes were burning from exhaustion. I should have

done what Bella said and napped instead of spending most of the afternoon with
Emma at the park, before dropping her off at Mom's. But, I had missed her so much
and just wanted to spend a few hours with her, so I called Mom and changed the
plans. Then, I ran around, quickly taking care of some of the neglected chores
knowing that given the staff shortage we were facing, the next week could prove to
be as long and arduous as the one that was just ending.

A throat clearing beside me had me looking up from the chart I was working on. I

was surprised to see Jacob standing there.

"Hey, I thought you went home."

"Nah. I grabbed a quick nap in the on-call room."

- 136 -

My brow furrowed in confusion. "Why? You're not due back for another nine

hours, Jacob. Go home."

"Stevens is feeling better. He's coming in to cover my shift tomorrow."

"Even better. Why are you here again, exactly?"

He drew in a deep breath. "I'm gonna cover the rest of your shift, Edward. You've

worked more than anyone else this week. You go home." He glanced at the clock.
"You have twenty-two hours before you need to be back."

I gaped at him. "Are you serious?"

Jacob nodded and smiled nervously. "Look man, I know I drove you nuts this week.

And, I know the last couple of days have been really hard. Go home and see your
girls."

"Jacob…"

He held up his hand. "Don't make a big deal of this okay, Edward. You'll make it

up to me one day."

I grinned and shook his outstretched hand.

Maybe tonight, I could make up for the lost evening of yesterday.

I pulled out of the hospital parking lot, glancing over to the front of the daycare.

Bella's truck was there; I pulled in and parked beside her. I wanted to surprise her
and hoped that once she finished up with her paperwork I could convince her to
come over and we could spend the evening together. I punched in my code and
entered the centre quietly, then headed for Bella's office, expecting to find her
working away at her desk. I stopped short in the doorway when I saw her curled up
in one of the beanbag chairs, asleep. Rags was asleep beside her and he looked up
as I walked forward, slowly dropping to my knees beside Bella. Leaning over, I
scratched his ears, smiling as he leaned into my fingers, before getting down and
making his way over to the food bowl I could see Bella had set up for him. Looking
back at Bella, I frowned. Her hand was clutching her cell phone and she had
obviously fallen asleep while crying. I could see the tracks her tears had left behind
and my finger softly traced them on her cheek.

Her eyes flew open at my touch, and she stared at me briefly before flinging

herself at me, fresh tears running down her face.

- 137 -

Worried about what had caused such a reaction, I held her tightly, trying to

comfort her. When I felt her sobs begin to diminish I pulled back, cupping her face.
"Baby, what's wrong? What happened?" I indicated the cellphone in her hand. "Did
you get some bad news?"

She shook her head, her voice trembling. "No. It's just…"

"Just what? You're scaring me a little, Bella."

"Last night, after you called the first time, I tore out of here and I left my phone.

The battery died overnight and I plugged it in," she whispered. "I listened to your
voicemail again and I just saw your texts, Edward." She looked at me. "I could feel
your pain and it all sort of just hit me. The whole…thing…just hit me."

I pulled her back into my arms. "You never got those texts last night?" I asked

quietly, rocking her.

She shook her head against my chest.

"You came after the first call?"

Her soft 'yes' was muffled.

I pulled back and looked at her. Her face was pale and blotchy from crying and

her normally sparkling blue eyes were still swimming in tears and the pain of what
had occurred. She looked as tired as I felt. And yet, she had never looked more
beautiful to me. Her tender, loving heart was such a revelation to me. Tanya had
always been so closed off and almost impersonal at times. Bella's openness was a
gift.

"You are so amazing, Bella Swan." I shook my head. "I have no idea how I got to

be the one to have you, but I am so very grateful for that."

Leaning down, I caught her lips with mine, kissing her softly. Her arms wound

around my neck pulling me closer as my tongue sought out the warmth of her
mouth. Groaning, I pulled her up into my lap as the warm, steady heat built between
us. Heavy, pulsating desire trickled down my spine as I pulled her impossibly closer,
her hands holding me tightly. Leaning forward, I lowered her onto the beanbag
chair, needing my hands free to feel her soft skin. My fingers found the smooth
warm skin of her back as they delved under her shirt, caressing her gently.

I broke the kiss, but my lips didn't leave her skin as I made my way down her

- 138 -

neck, my tongue swirling, tasting her greedily. I felt the coolness of the air on my
back as she pulled on the hem of my scrubs and sitting back on my heels, I looked at
her silently. She was so beautiful as she gazed back at me, her face and chest
flushed and lips swollen from mine. Leaning forward, I kissed her deeply. "Bella," I
moaned regretfully. "I want you. God, I want you. But not here, baby. Not on the
floor in your office."

She smiled teasingly, leaning up to capture my lips. "The beanbag is fairly

comfortable if you're not in it too long," she whispered as she nipped softly on my
earlobe.

I groaned and pulled away. "That's the problem, Bella," I growled in warning. "I

plan on taking my time loving you and I guarantee you that a quickie in a lumpy
beanbag chair will not be enough once I've started with you." I looked at her lying in
front of me, all warm and inviting. "I'm going to need days, Bella. Fucking days to
get my fill of you."

Her eyes widened and she pulled herself up into my arms, her mouth covering

mine. This time she took control, her tongue seeking and pressing with mine. "Just
give me a little, Edward, please," she whispered as she pulled back. "I need to be
close to you right now. Replace yesterday for me, please."

Groaning, I gave in. I couldn't say no. I didn't want to. I gathered her closer and

lifted her, moving and shifting so she was straddling me in the beanbag. I kissed her
with everything I had, pouring all my want, desire and need into her. One hand
wound into her hair, while the other settled on her hip, keeping her anchored to me.
Our kisses became frenzied and I lost myself to her. My legs were planted firmly on
the floor creating a cage between them and my chest, where Bella was trapped. My
aching cock was pushed right into her apex and I could feel her warmth through the
thin material of my scrubs. Bella began to roll her hips and I broke the kiss,
dropping my head onto her shoulder at the sensation of her writhing on me. I felt
her hands tighten on my arms and her breathing pick up as she continued to move.
"You like that, baby?" I moaned lowly into her ear, moving my hands and pushing
her down on me, wanting to feel more of her.

Her low groan was all the encouragement I needed and I began thrusting,

meeting her movements as I arched up against her. Her head fell back and I started
nuzzling her neck, gently biting my way to her ear before leaning in closer again. "Is
this what you need? Can you come like this, Bella? Come for me?" I breathed into
her ear.

I knew I certainly could.

- 139 -

She gasped my name as her movements sped up and I shifted the angle to make

sure I was hitting her exactly where she needed. Her passionate moan had me
growling into her ear. "Is that it, pretty girl? Is that the spot?"

Her hands clutched me tighter. I groaned at the feeling of her fingers digging into

my arms as she struggled to control her desire. "Yes…there…oh,Edward," she
gasped.

I was mesmerized watching her fall apart in front of me, the naked desire on her

face, in her eyes, almost wrecking me. She was devastatingly beautiful in her
passion with her head flung back, the dark waves of her hair swirling around her
shoulders, as her chest heaved in deep panting gasps as she rocked against my
throbbing erection, and I was lost with the vision. Feeling the heat between us now
made me shudder just imagining how we would come together when we finally
made love. The thought of her below me naked and writhing drove me closer to the
edge.

I closed my eyes, trying to stave off my impending release. My hands curled

around her hips, gripping her, holding her to me so tightly I felt a seam give way
underneath my fingers. My head pressed deeply into her chest, deep pleasure filled
moans escaping my lips as my hips met Bella's rocking motion. My body was aching
and throbbing, the burn inside me twisting and yearning, desperate for my release.
Frantic for hers. I wasn't going to be able to last much longer. Bella began shaking,
the tiniest whimpers filling my ears, sweet passionate noises that were for me, and
me alone, and then her entire body stilled, my name escaping her mouth in a long
soft gasp. I followed right behind her, arching into her warmth before the world
exploded around me in a haze of pleasure as I cried out her name, shaking as I
pulled her closer, needing to feel her pressed tightly against me. Never had I
experienced such a powerful reaction with someone, especially still fully clothed. It
was incredible, intense and utterly perfect.

I fell back into the chair, bringing her with me, my arms clasping her tightly. We

were both silent as our bodies slowly recovered and our breathing became normal
again. I held her, gently stroking her hair as we came back to earth. "Better, baby?"
I asked with a grin.

She looked up at me with a small grin. "Yeah...that was…that was…wow, Edward."

Pulling her up my chest, I reached for her mouth. "If that," I whispered against

her lips, "was wow…brace yourself, Bella. I have plans for a great deal more than
wow."

- 140 -

I smiled at the shiver that went through her. She rested on my chest as I nuzzled

the top of her head gently. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to move or leave
this moment. But I knew we had to.

"Bella," I began quietly. "Would you have dinner with me tonight?"

"Just you?"

I smiled against her head. "Your choice. Mom has Emma and she isn't expecting

you to pick her up for a bit; so we could have dinner and then I could go get her…" I
trailed off.

Bella lifted her head. "Or, we could get her early and have dinner at home and

watch a movie?"

"That would be okay with you?"

She smiled and nodded. "More than okay. We can have some alone time after she

goes to bed, and I know she would like that."

"I'd like it as well. I'll call Mom and see if she's had dinner yet, and let her know

we're coming to get her." I sat up, pulling Bella with me and we both looked down
where we were still pressed against each other.

Grinning, she looked at me. "Houston, I think we may have a problem."

Groaning, I shook my head. "Seriously woman, what is it with you? I can't keep my

hands off you. I made out with you like a teenager in your truck the other night and
now I…" my voice trailed off as I shook my head.

"Now you helped us both blow off some excess stress, Edward?" she asked

teasingly.

"I dry humped you, Bella. In your office. In your beanbag chair."

"We dry humped each other, Edward. And I told you it was comfortable."

"I came in my pants, Bella."

She grinned. "So did I."

My lips twitched.

- 141 -

"And I liked it, Edward. A lot."

"Yeah?"

She nodded and dropped an indulgent kiss on my lips. "Yeah. Stop feeling

embarrassed."

She squirmed a little on my lap, causing me to moan. "Bella…" I growled in

warning.

Bella giggled softly. "How happy are you going to be to find out I keep some extra

scrubs here, Edward?"

"Extremely happy. Especially if you have a pair that fit me."

"If I do, can I pick dinner?"

"Absolutely."

"Does Emma like Chinese?"

"We both do."

"Then the trip I made the other day to restock was worth it."

Grinning, she pulled away and stood up, chuckling as she looked down at herself

and then me. "Good thing I keep more than one spare pair of scrubs on hand, Dr.
Cullen. It would appear I need a pair as well." She winked as she sauntered away.

I watched her, smiling.

Minx.

I think we all feel much better now...no? Giggles... see what 24 hours can

do?

See you on the weekend...

- 142 -

Chapter 24

Here you go... next week will be midweek and Sunday as I work on

Saturday. So you have to be patient for one more day.

Hand in hand, we walked out to our cars. Rain had been forecasted for the

evening, but I was surprised to see how dark it had gotten. "The storm is coming in
fast," I observed.

Bella anxiously looked at the rapid moving clouds. "When do you think it will hit?"

she asked and I could hear the underlying fear in her voice.

"A couple hours I think. They are moving pretty fast though," I explained,

indicating the sky. "It could be sooner. Don't like storms, QB?" I asked teasingly,
drawing her close so she was nestled into my side.

"No." Her voice was tense.

The one word said it all.

Smiling, I tipped her chin up. "Then let me take full advantage of that situation. I'll

go get Emma and pick up dinner, while you hurry home and grab a few things.
Spend the night with us, Bella."

"Us?"

I laughed. "Emma loves 'jammie' parties with her Grams. Why don't we have one

of our own? We can watch a movie and snuggle on the couch. We'll both protect you
from the thunder."

"Emma likes storms?"

"She does. We always sit and watch them together. She's never been scared."

"I really don't like storms, Edward," Bella said quietly, her voice taut with nerves.

"Then come home with me. Stay."

"And where will I sleep?"

- 143 -

"You can sleep anywhere you want. You can bunk in with Emma again or have my

bed." I smiled. "Regardless of what we, um, just shared Bella, I know neither of us
are ready for more quite yet. And it's too soon for Emma to find you in my bed with
me." I grinned at her. "Not that I'd mind finding you in my bed."

Bella laughed, even though her eyes were still scanning the clouds. "Okay. I'll go

and get my things."

Bending down, I kissed her lightly. "Would you rather I followed you home and

you leave your truck there? We can go get Emma and pick up supper together; that
way if the storm breaks you won't be alone?"

"How would I get home?"

"I'll drop you off on my way back for my shift."

"That's not until tomorrow evening, Edward."

I grinned. "I know. I'd get you for almost a whole day. Maybe you and Emma could

make some cookies?"

Instantly, she began biting her bottom lip. "Are you sure…that wouldn't be too

much?"

I pulled her lip free and tapped it. "Positive."

Way off in the distance, there was a low rumble of thunder. Bella's eyes widened

dramatically. "Okay," she squeaked.

I laughed at her sudden acquiesce. "Okay, let's move! I think I need to get you

indoors as soon as possible."

Bella nodded vigorously.

I opened her truck door and helped her in. I smiled at her before shutting the

door.

"Right behind you, Bella. Okay?"

"Okay."

- 144 -

Two hours later we were a mass of huddled limbs on the sofa. I sat with my arms

wrapped around Bella, who was pressed as tightly into my chest as she could
possibly be. Emma and Rags were both nestled on her legs and there was a blanket
draped over all of us. The coffee table held the remnants of uneaten noodles,
vegetables and chicken, their pungent aromas still permeating the air. Outside, the
wind blew and the thunder was beginning to roll and swell as the storm closed in.
Inside, Emma and I were content and fascinated to watch the sky light up and listen
to the huge claps of thunder that followed, Emma even clapping after some of the
larger lightning strikes. I smiled watching her. We had always sat and watched
storms together and she was never scared. Surprisingly, Rags was not overly
frightened of the noise, and was, as usual, happily snuggled close to Emma. But
Bella was a terrified mass of shaking limbs. So much so that even Emma turned to
look at her, her tiny hands patting Bella's in comfort as they gripped mine in terror.
I had never seen a reaction like this to a storm. When the lights flickered, I felt a
huge shudder roll through Bella and her body tensed even further. Emma moved
and sat Rags down on the couch, then disappeared down the hall, only to return
with Mr. Floppy who she promptly handed to Bella, before picking Rags back up and
moving over to the chair closer to the window for a better look.

I held Bella tighter. "That's a rare gift," I whispered quietly against her hair. "She

never shares Mr. Floppy with anyone." I looked down and laughed quietly. "I think
she'd like to have him back in one piece, though," I murmured as I tried to loosen
the death grip Bella had on the bunny she was holding.

"Is she okay that close to the window?" Bella asked, her voice quavering. "Maybe

she should come back here."

"Bella. She is fine." I rocked us gently from side to side, hoping to calm her down.

"You're fine, Bella. I've got you. You're perfectly safe," I crooned.

"What if the lights go off?"

"I have candles."

"What if…" her voice trailed off as the sky lit up, illuminating the room. At the

same moment, the skies opened up and it began raining. Heavy sheeting rain fell, so
thick, you could no longer see outside the window. Bella gasped as a huge roll of
thunder sounded, so close that the house shook and she half turned to bury her face
into my chest, her hands grasping at my shirt. Chuckling, I shifted and lifted her
fully onto my lap, but frowned when I felt just how hard she was shaking. "Hey,
pretty girl. It's okay. I have you, Bella."

- 145 -

"Don't let go," she pleaded softly.

I held her tighter, loving her simple words. "Never."

Looking up, I saw Emma observing us. Smiling, I winked at her. "Some storm, huh

Babygirl?" She nodded, silently pointing out the window. "I know. It's raining very
hard."

She looked at Bella sadly. "Bella doesn't like storms like you and I do, Babygirl.

She's fine. She just needs a snuggle right now. You want to come and snuggle too?"

I smiled as I watched her purse her lips while she decided. She loved watching

storms by the window, but she also loved Bella. In the end, Bella won out and she
climbed out of the chair and came over beside me, cuddling into the side of my leg
while her hand reached over and patted Bella's leg in comfort. Bella let go of my
shirt and her hand wrapped around Emma's. I looked down at the two of them both
curled into me, both needing me for protection, but from different things. I smiled,
enjoying the rare feeling of being needed by someone other than Emma. Tanya had
never really needed me. She always prided herself on how independent she was and
often pushed me away when I tried helping. Bella was far stronger than Tanya had
ever been, yet here she was, completely defenceless over a storm and clinging to me
like a child. The contradiction somehow only endeared her to me even more. That
she would trust me that much, to show this vulnerability to me, was an amazing
feeling.

Without thinking, I softly began to hum and after a few minutes felt Bella calm a

little. I felt Emma slowing relaxing into sleep as she settled into my side. It was a
late night for her; far later than I usually allowed, but I knew she loved spending
time with Bella and it gave me extra time with her as well. The lights flickered and
went out, plunging the room into darkness, but I didn't move except to press a
gentle kiss onto Bella's head in quiet comfort. I was far too peaceful and content to
worry about lights. I had my girls, and that was all that mattered right now. I'd light
some candles in a while. I kept humming.

Outside the storm raged, but inside we were together and safe.

It was perfect.

The intensity of the storm finally abated and I felt Bella loosen her death grip on

my shirt, and her shaking begin to slow. The room was still dark, but I could see her

- 146 -

looking up at me.

"Hey." I smiled down at her.

"Hi. Sorry about that," she whispered, her voice sheepish.

"Don't be sorry, Bella. Everyone has fears. Did something happen to you that you

associate negatively with storms?"

Bella nodded. "I was playing in my tree house when I was little and a storm broke

suddenly. My mom thought I was with my dad, he thought I was with her…" her
voice trailed off quietly.

"You were all alone? For the whole storm?"

She nodded again. "Most of it. My dad found me and carried me inside, but I was

pretty traumatized. I was already frightened of storms." Her fingers were busy
playing with the hem of my shirt. "I've never really gotten over it."

My hands covered hers. "It's okay, Bella. I understand. Have you ever, ah, thought

of seeing someone about this? You reaction is pretty intense."

"I did. It never helped. The best advice he offered was for me to try and find

something to distract me when it stormed – to find a good association instead of one
of fear."

"And you haven't found one yet?" I asked quietly, marvelling at her. Always so

brave and strong except in a storm.

She shook her head and offered me a tremulous smile. "Today was a good one."

"I'm glad we were able to be there for you." I stroked her cheek with my knuckles,

smiling as she turned her face, leaning into my touch.

"What happens when you're at the centre or at home and a storm hits?" I asked

curiously.

"Well, the staff know about my, um, reaction. So when it happens, I go in my office

and shut the door. I don't want to upset the children. And at home I just hide."

I ran my finger down her cheek. "So you tough it out alone?"

- 147 -

She shrugged. "Luckily, it doesn't happen often. And if it's not a bad storm, I can

usually handle myself." She sighed. "But I'm glad I was here tonight."

Leaning forward I kissed her, my lips grazing hers repeatedly, with small

caresses. "I am as well."

Pulling back, I looked down at Emma. "I need to put the munchkin in bed."

Bella stood up just as the lights flickered on. I was shocked to see just how pale

she was. I was instantly grateful for the fact she had been her with us. I could only
imagine how badly she would have handled the storm on her own.

Bending down, Bella lifted Emma so I could stand up and carry her to her room.

We were already in our 'jammies", so it was a simple matter of tucking her under the
covers. As soon as she was tucked in, Rags curled up tightly to her chest and
Emma's arm bent around her furry bedmate. It made me smile tenderly as I watched
Bella stroke Emma's curls before leaning down and kissing her forehead. She caught
my eye as she stood up. "You do that so well, Bella. You are so natural with her."

She smiled. "She is easy to love, Edward."

I hesitated, the words I was about to say freezing in my throat.

"What?" she asked as she stood in front of me.

I cupped her cheek. "You will make a wonderful mother, Bella. You may not give

birth to them, but you will one day be someone's mother. And they will be very lucky
to have you."

Her eyes misted over, and she glanced away.

I tightened my hold on her cheek, other words burning to be said. I knew it was

still too soon, but my hopes spilled out quietly. "Maybe…maybe you've already
started that process?"

Her eyes widened and flew to mine. We stood gazing at each other, a silent

conversation taking place.

Bella drew in a deep breath and wordlessly she nodded. "All in, Edward."

I smiled in contentment and leaned my forehead on hers.

- 148 -

"All in, Bella."

Sigh. Leaving you with a little feeling of is truly wonderful and I adore how

he loves his girls.

See you mid week...

- 149 -

Chapter 25

Happy Wednesday! The next update is not til Sunday... maybe late late

Saturday night depending how long I am at work, but Sunday for sure.

Thank you for your support of this story. The way you love the characters,

simply astonishes me.

Many thanks to Liz for prereading and Mid-Night for her beta work and

constant encouragement.

I woke up Sunday morning to soft whispers and kisses from both my girls. Neither

Bella nor I wanted to be away from the other and we both ended up in Emma's bed,
her snuggled between us like the night before, our hands clasped together. We were
both still exhausted from the emotions of the past couple days and needed both rest
and time together the next day. Sunday was spent baking cookies, watching
cartoons and just being together. Bella made everything feel like…more. Her loving
ways with Emma, how she fussed over me, packing me a lunch to take, all of her
caring gestures filled my heart. Emma fell asleep at one point watching cartoons
and I made out with Bella, like the teenager she made me feel like, in the kitchen,
pressed up against the counter. It was only the buzzing of the timer that broke us
apart, my lips not wanting to leave hers as she pulled away to change the cookie
tray. "Seriously woman…something about you," I mumbled against her head before
she giggled and turned around, offering me a warm cookie.

"Maybe this will keep your mouth busy for a while."

I growled and lowered my head, intent on showing her busy, but she slipped

under my arm. "Give it up Dr. C, we need to go soon," she teased playfully. "Eat your
cookie."

I smiled sadly as I watched her move around the kitchen, loving how right she

looked in my house. How complete it felt when she was there with us. It was the
best day I'd had in a long time, and I didn't want it to be over.

Together, we took Emma to my parents and then I drove Bella home. I walked her

up to her apartment and escorted her inside, quickly checking everything was okay.
She watched me quietly, her expression one of patient amusement. "Everything
good? Did you want to look under the bed or in the closet?"

- 150 -

I pulled her tightly against me. "Enough sass from you." I kissed her tenderly. "It's

my job to look after you now."

Her eyes shone as she looked up at me, her voice quavering. "I like that. Nobody

has looked after me in a long time."

I kissed her again, hating to hear her say that, but glad I was the one able to look

after her now.

Her voice became shy. "I love how you take care of me, Edward."

I held her tightly, regretting that I couldn't stay. It took all I had to leave her and

head to the hospital for my shift. I wanted nothing more than to spend time with her.
Time I simply wasn't able to offer right now.

I sighed as I shut my locker. I knew it was going to be a long week.

"Dr. Cullen?"

I looked up wearily from the couch in the staff lounge. It was now Wednesday and

the flu outbreak had taken its toll on everyone. For those who caught it, and those of
us left behind to try and deal with the staff shortage and the endless stream of
patients that insisted on filling the ER. There was nothing we could do to help them
except advise them to drink lots of liquids, stay away from certain foods and rest.
There was no magic pill to make them better. Luckily, two more doctors were back
today so I would be able to head home tonight. At this point, I wasn't even sure I
could drive safely. I had basically been here since Sunday, sleeping when I could in
the on-call room and only seeing Emma and Bella from a distance. I was worried
about them catching the bug with all the exposure I had unfortunately been privy to.
Many of Bella's staff and children had been hit with the same outbreak, but so far
the three of us were, amazingly, still well. Still, I took every precaution I could not to
make either of them ill, including physically staying away from them.

Blinking, I realized I had been just staring at the nurse in front of me. "Oh, sorry,

Sue. What's up?"

She smiled kindly at me. "You're wanted on line one. And, when you're done they

need you in exam three."

So much for a quick break. I nodded and grabbed the phone on the wall.

- 151 -

"Dr. Cullen."

"Edward, it's Demetri."

Immediately I tensed. Why was my lawyer calling? "What's going on?"

"Tanya got in contact with me. She has apparently been trying to call you, but of

course your number has changed since you moved, and she doesn't have the new
one."

"What the hell does she want?"

"She refused to say anything; only that she wants to talk to you. I wouldn't give

her your number or the information she wanted about where you were but I said I
would pass on the message."

I was silent as my mind raced with all sorts of disturbing scenarios. Why was she

calling?

"Edward, relax. I don't think this has to do with Emma, or the divorce. She would

have had her lawyer calling me if that was the case. She, ah, she didn't even ask
about Emma."

I drew in a surprisingly painful breath.

"You have full custody, Edward. She signed away her rights. You don't even have

to return her calls, but I'll email you her number."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I hung up the phone, sliding down the wall as my legs

shook.

She didn't ask about her daughter. She hadn't even realized we'd moved and had

been surprised to find my number changed. Because she simply didn't care. Once
again, I found myself wondering how someone could be so callous towards a child;
especially their own child. How could I have possibly been married to someone like
that? How did I not see the type of person she really was years before? I rested my
head in my hands for a moment as I tried to calm down. What did she want? What
could she possibly have to talk to me about? The divorce would be final any day now.
It couldn't be about that…she'd gotten what she wanted. I gave her everything she
asked for just to get her out of Emma's life.

I shuddered. Surely it couldn't be about Emma. She'd already done enough

- 152 -

damage. I wouldn't give her a chance to do more. There was no way in hell she was
coming anywhere near my daughter again.

With that resolve, I stood up, shaking my head. I wasn't going to phone her

anytime soon, if at all. Right now, I needed to make it through this week and then I
would think about it again when I wasn't so exhausted. Picking up a chart, I made
my way to room three.

"Edward?"

Looking up from the chart I was working on, I was not happy to see Bella standing

in front of me. Her face was flushed and her eyes were watery, which were both
signs of a temperature. Snapping the chart closed, I walked towards her, thinking
the flu had finally caught up with her as well. As I reached her, my hand went up to
feel her forehead, surprised to find it a normal temperature. I grabbed her wrist to
check on her pulse and frowned in confusion when I found that it too was normal.
The entire time she stood quietly as I quickly assessed her. "You're not ill?"

She smiled. "No, Edward. I'm fine. I already told you, you are being too

over-protective about this."

Taking her hand, I led her to the closest empty room and shut the door. I pulled

her into my arms and held her tightly, feeling both annoyed and grateful for the
unexpected visit.

I drew back. "Emma?"

"Is fine."

Already anxious over the phone call and worried, my voice was unusually sharp.

"Then why are you here, Bella? I asked you to stay away."

Bella's face fell and instantly, I regretted my choice of words.

"I had something I wanted to share with you, Edward."

"And you couldn't do it over the phone?"

"Edward."

- 153 -

I pulled my hands through my hair in frustration. "It's not easy for me not to see

you and Emma, Bella. But, I'm doing it for your benefit. I don't want you sick. Is that
so hard to understand?"

Bella regarded me silently. Her voice was patient. "What's wrong, Edward?"

"You're here, exposing yourself to all these germs. And then you'll go back to the

daycare and expose Emma. I'm not doing this for kicks. I'm trying to protect you."

Bella's head tilted as she studied me briefly. "Okay, Edward," she smiled tightly.

Then she turned around and walked out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind
her.

Completely shocked, I stood gaping at the door. Then I lunged forward, pulling the

door open and hurrying after her. I saw the door to the stairwell closing and I ran,
ignoring the voice calling my name behind me. Wrenching open the door, I could see
Bella on the stairway below.

"Bella! Stop!"

I caught up to her on the landing. She stood waiting for me, her arms crossed over

her chest, her face impassive.

"I'm sorry. I'm tired and…"

Her hand shot up, silencing me. "I know you are, Edward. Just like you were last

week. I know you're under a lot of stress. And, once again I've done something you
don't like and you're letting me know." She stepped forward, firmly pushing on my
chest with one finger. "Let me tell you something, Edward. I am not a dumping
ground for your bad moods. You need to find another way of dealing with your
anger. I am a grown adult. If I decide to come here and risk getting sick that is my
business. Emma went home with your mother. I am not going back to the daycare
after I leave here. I am not going to infect anyone."

I grabbed her surprisingly strong, pointy, finger and wrapped my hand around

hers. "Finished?"

She pursed her lips.

"As I was saying. I am sorry. I'm tired and I just acted like a complete asshole.

Again. I apologize."

- 154 -

Bella's eyes narrowed but she didn't say anything.

"I just don't want either of you sick, Bella. I've been worried. And missing you.

Both of you. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, especially when I was really so
happy to see you. I was stupid to think you hadn't thought this out. Forgive me." I
leaned forward and kissed her forehead and began to turn away. She was angry and
I needed to give her a little time to calm down. I also needed to learn to control my
sudden impulse to overreact. She was right; I needed to talk to someone.

Bella's hand tightened on mine. "You were happy to see me?"

I smiled tiredly at her. "Very much so." My hand rose up and my fingers drifted

along her cheek. "I've missed you."

Bella lunged forward, catching me by surprise. I stumbled backward into the wall,

my breath leaving my body in a startled gasp. Bella's arms wrapped around my
neck, pulling my head down to hers as her mouth covered mine, kissing me deeply,
her silky tongue stroking mine. Groaning, I wrapped my arms around her, returning
her passion with enthusiasm. Our tongues swirled and caressed, tasting and
savoring each other as we became lost in our little bubble of heat. Leaning down, I
lifted her up, and her legs wrapped around my waist, as I turned us around and
pressing her up into the wall as we continued to ravage each other's mouths. It was
only a door opening above us that brought us back to the reality of the fact we were
not alone. Slowly, I pulled away, dropping small kisses on her mouth regretfully as I
gently lifted her away from me and lowered her to the ground.

"You are an asshole," she whispered breathlessly, when she was standing back on

her feet, glaring at me.

"I know."

"Stop it."

I chuckled. "You gonna give me a time out?"

She scowled up at me. "Don't tempt me."

I grinned, waggling my eyebrows at her. "Was I naughty enough to deserve…a

spanking…Ms. Swan?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Somehow I don't think you take that as

punishment."

- 155 -

Leaning down, I kissed her again, contritely. "I am sorry. I'll do better. And I will

talk to someone."

"Tell me what happened. And don't give me the bullshit about being tired."

I grinned ruefully. Already she knew me so well.

Quickly, I told her about the phone call. She listened intently, frowning.

"Are you going to call her?"

I shrugged. "Not today."

"Whatever it is, we'll deal with it, Edward."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "We?"

Bella nodded her head. "If you think I will let that woman hurt Emma or you again,

you are sadly mistaken, Edward. She isn't coming near you or Emma again."

I stroked her cheek, regarding her in awe.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You amaze me yet again, Bella Swan." I shook my head in wonder.

"Were you not going to tell me about this, Edward?"

"I don't know. I hadn't thought it through." I drew in a deep breath. "The last four

years I had to learn to just handle things myself, Bella. Tanya was never interested
in being part of my…problems."

Bella's hand gripped my face tightly, forcing me to look at her.

"I...am...not...Tanya."

I gasped in shock. "I know that."

Bella shook her head. "I am here for you, Edward. Just like you were there for me

in the storm. I'm your soft place. I'm your protection. Do you understand that? Can't
you let me be that for you?"

I stared at her, slowly nodding. A feeling of belonging spread through me.

- 156 -

Belonging to Bella. I smiled as I let the feeling fill me. I liked it.

I let out a shaky sigh. "I'm worried, Bella," I confessed quietly.

"We'll deal with it together. Okay? When you are ready. But you need to stop

reacting so negatively, Edward. I'm here for you. I am not working against you.
Remember that." She gazed at me steadily.

"I'll do better. I will."

"Don't shut me out."

My breath caught. "I won't."

I heard my name being bellowed above me. "I have to go."

Bella nodded. "I'll see you at your place later."

She turned to go, but I caught her arm.

"What did you come here to tell me? You looked like you'd been crying when you

got here."

"I was. A little."

"Why?"

She smiled, her voice trembling with excitement. "Emma spoke today, Edward.

She actually spoke."

Okay... so Edward was a bit of a jerk again. At least this time he realized

and apologized immediately. He is still new to all this. And Emma spoke.
What did she say?

See you on the weekend. Be safe.

- 157 -

Chapter 26

Your promised update. Thank you for your continued support. Many

thanks to Liz and Mid-Night.A large part was added after this was betaed so
any mistakes are mine alone.

I gripped Bella's elbow. "She spoke?"

Bella nodded. "She did, Edward. And again, it was in response to someone else's

need."

"Tell me...please."

"You remember Angela, our partially deaf student?"

I nodded. I knew Emma played with Angela quite a bit, even signing with her

frequently.

"Angela tripped on the playground and skinned her knee. I brought her into my

office to clean and bandage it and Emma followed us. Angela was crying pretty hard.
Emma watched us for a minute and then she went over to Rag's basket and picked
him up, and gave him to Angela to hold." She drew in a deep breath, smiling as she
recalled what had happened. "She smiled at Angela and said, "Rags make you feel
better, Angela. He make me better."

I gasped. "Out loud? Not whispering?"

Bella shook her head. "It was still soft, Edward, but it was spoken. She knew

Angela couldn't read her lips if she was whispering."

I shook my head, as tears filled my eyes. I had missed it.

Bella stepped forward, and took my hand in hers. "Don't look like that, Edward.

She'll do it again. She will talk. Her caring nature doesn't allow her to see someone
suffer. Angela needed comforting and that is what she did."

I nodded silently. Bella's hand then cupped my cheek, caressing it. Sighing, I

leaned into her gentle touch.

"Just like you, Edward. She is just like you. Caring and loving. She put Angela's

- 158 -

needs over her own fear."

"What happened?" I asked quietly.

"Angela stopped crying and snuggled Rags while I cleaned her knee. Emma stood

beside her and patted her arm the whole time. Then the two of them went off and
played together. It was just so touching, Edward."

"It made you cry," I smiled at her, remembering her red, watery eyes when she

got here.

"It did."

"Emma is with my mom?"

"Yes."

The door above us opened. "Cullen!" Jake bellowed out. "Quit messing round with

the little Swan chick and get up here! It's utter chaos! I'm dying up here!"

I looked at Bella regretfully. "I have to go, QB."

She nodded in understanding. "I have my first-aid recertification course tonight,

Edward. I'll see you in the morning."

Shit. I had forgotten. I was finally able to go home and I wouldn't see her tonight.

Reaching out, I dragged her back to me and kissed her hard.

"Thank you for coming to tell me. Call me when you get home."

"Okay," she breathed.

"Drive safely. Lock your doors."

Bella arched one eyebrow. "Anything else?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for being an asshole...again."

- 159 -

"You're forgiven."

"Good. Kiss me again," I groaned as I pulled her closer and kissed her deeply

before she left.

I walked back upstairs feeling considerably better than when I had chased Bella

down them. Together we would face Tanya's call. And, my Emma had made another
small step towards coming back to me.

I was still grinning when I made my way to the desk to grab a chart. Jake glared at

me for a minute and then laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

It wasn't until I was changing to go home I realized the nothing, was shiny

smudged lip gloss marks, trailing up my cheek to my ear.

I shook my head. No wonder I got some strange looks from patients. Of course,

Jake would find that amusing.

Bastard. I'd get him.

Slowly, the days passed. Staff began returning to work and after this week was

over, my life could return to some semblance of order. I was looking forward to
spending more time with Bella and Emma as a family, as well as getting the chance
to have Bella alone.

Thankfully, because of Bella and my mother the horrendous hours and time away

from Emma had been easier. I knew she was being well cared for and was happy
being with either of them, which eased my mind.

Bella made sure I ate daily and her texts and calls brightened my hours away from

her. In the week since she had dropped by the hospital to share her news, Bella had
convinced me to stop being so "anal" and I made a point of seeing both of them
every day at the daycare centre, even if it was only for a few minutes.

And, keeping my promise, I had spoken confidentially to a member of the Stress

Management team, who, not only showed me some exercises to use when I felt

- 160 -

myself getting upset but also suggested further sessions, to help me deal with my
sudden habit of overreacting. I was surprised how effective the exercises were and
immediately noticed that I was able to keep my emotions in check with far greater
ease. I found talking to Trina very enlightening and she helped me put things into
perspective. She made me realize that, while I had dealt with all of Emma's needs I
had neglected to address any of my own residual anger left over from Tanya's
abandonment of us. I found some of the sessions difficult, but I knew I had to
persevere. I was doing this for my future. To be the man I wanted and needed to be
for Emma and Bella. Especially Bella. I was not proud of myself for my reactions and
I never wanted to see the hurt look on her face again and know that I was the one
who had put it there. She deserved far better, so despite the long hours and
stressful schedule, I made time every day to talk to Trina. And every day that I saw
only smiles from Bella, encouraged and gave me the incentive to keep going.

The nights I was able to get home, I spent with Emma, playing and just being with

her. When she was able to, Bella joined us and I loved the time we were able to
share together. Rags was there most of the time and Emma's soft whispers to him
were endearing to watch, but as soon as I drew near, they ceased. I didn't
understand why and I tried to convince myself I should just be happy she was using
her voice at all, but every time it happened, I felt a little sadder. Bella was convinced
she would begin talking soon, and I hung on to that hope tightly. Every day she
shared stories of some small step Emma would take, even one day whispering
directly to my mother, and while I rejoiced in the news, I still felt the hollowness of
my reaction at times. I wanted her to whisper at me. To talk to me. To tell me what
she needed.

I just wanted my Babygirl back.

I sat down heavily in front of my locker, my eyes focusing on the Post- it note

stuck on the inside of the door. Tanya's phone number. I still hadn't called her.
Demitri had let me know she had called again, still refusing to tell him what she
wanted. I scrubbed my face with my hands, vowing I would do that as soon as this
week was over. It was Thursday and I only had one more shift to get through. Friday
4pm could not come fast enough. I had the whole weekend off and I planned on
spending it all with Bella, Emma and some quality sleep time. I had already
promised Bella and Emma we would go for pizza on Friday night, and since Mom
had been asking about having Emma for a Saturday night sleepover, I was planning
on asking Bella out for a proper date, just the two of us. It felt like we had gone from
friends to instant family, with her taking up the majority of the responsibilities for
me and I wanted to let her know how much I appreciated it. How much I
appreciated her. And, I wanted to spend an evening together, two adults enjoying
each other. I grinned as I thought about the ways I was hoping we would enjoy

- 161 -

ourselves; perhaps a longer, less clothed version of what we had shared in her
office. Maybe even convince her to join me in some quality sleep time…after.

Jake walked in, whistling. "Hey, I was hoping to catch you."

I chuckled. "You're speaking to me again?"

He laughed. "Gotta give you and Bella props. You got me."

I smiled remembering the prank I had pulled off, thanks to Bella. I had no idea

how sneaky and clever my girl could be when she wanted to be. A few days after the
lip gloss incident, she had given me a small vial of clear, scented, sparkly glitter,
which I had dumped into the pockets of his lab coat, making sure to put extra in the
one where he kept his prescription pad. It had taken him a while before he noticed,
and by that point, the glitter was all over his hands, lab coat, and the best part,
through his hair. Even the shower he took after he discovered the source of the
glitter hadn't gotten rid of all of it and he had spent most of the day sparkling under
the lights, and smelling like bubble gum. It provided all the staff with some much
needed laughter and once he had stopped cursing and body checking me into the
wall every time he saw me in the hall, had actually played it up to his advantage, and
joined in our laughter.

"What's up?"

"I'm off the next couple of days."

I nodded. "I'm off for the weekend. Looking forward to being out of here."

Jake laughed. "I feel you. So listen…"

"What?"

He shifted from side to side and then nervously scratched the back of his neck.

"Have you, um, thought of what happens after this place?"

I grinned at him. "Are you asking me about Heaven, Jake? I'm not so sure that's

where you're headed…after...especially given your active…lifestyle."

He laughed. "No, man. I meant, what are your plans for the future? Have you

thought about something beyond the hospital?"

I frowned. "At this point, not really. I've sort of been just trying to get by, day by

- 162 -

day, since I got here."

Jake nodded. "Yeah, I can understand that. You've had a lot to deal with."

I nodded. That was an understatement.

Jake regarded me, his eyes narrowed. "Can we do dinner one night next week,

Edward?"

"Sorry Jake, but I'm already seeing someone. And, no offence, but she is a lot

prettier to look at than you."

He laughed. "Back at you. But really, maybe we could double? I have

an...unexpected opportunity to share with you."

"Wow, you're serious."

"Yes, very," he replied.

"Sure. I'll check with Bella. By double I assume you mean Leah? Wore her down

did you?"

Grinning, he nodded. "She is amazing, Edward. Really amazing. Best thing that

has ever happened to me. She is just…" He shook his head, his voice uncommonly
soft. "I can't even describe what she is."

I stared at him in shock. He sounded sincere and in awe of her. He'd fallen. Hard.

I grinned back at him. "I never thought I'd see the day; Dr. Black has finally met

his match?"

He nodded, smiling sheepishly.

I stood up. I was exhausted and needed to go get Emma. Bella had mentioned she

seemed off when I spoke with her earlier and I wanted to get her home. I clapped
Jake's shoulder. "It suits you, Jake. I'll talk to Bella."

"Good, Edward. Soon okay? It's important."

I nodded, intrigued. "Okay, Jake. I'll call you."

Grabbing my bag, I hurried out to my car. I was late to pick Emma up. And to see

- 163 -

Bella.

My girls. They were waiting for me.

Suddenly, I wasn't as exhausted as I had been a few moments ago.

So. He has sought help and keeps moving forward. He knows he needs to

do better for his girls. And Bella helped him get back at Jake. Sneaky thing
she is. Small shout out to a special someone in this chapter. Thank you my
#1, for your unending support. I hope it made you smile.

Next update will be midweek.

Be safe.

- 164 -

Chapter 27

Today we hear from Bella... I will strongly advise Kleenex for this one. And

I will see you at the end of the chapter.

Bella POV

I sat down at my desk with a quiet sigh of relief. It had been a long day, but

everyone was gone, with the exception of me, Emma and Rags. Looking over at
them, I smiled sadly. As usual, Rags was curled into a ball on Emma's lap, her little
head was bowed and I could see her lips moving as she whispered away at him, her
hand busy coloring a picture. I shook my head. Another week had passed since she
had spoken to Angela and aside from the few heart stopping moments when Emma
had actually raised her voice and spoke, she was still whispering…to
Rags-constantly. To me-occasionally. Once to her Grams. Even the rare whisper to
one of my staff. But to Edward-nothing. I watched his face sadden more everyday as
I shared her quiet triumphs with him. I knew he was thrilled we were progressing,
but he felt the deep hurt that she still remained utterly silent with him. No matter
how he tried to hide it, I could see it in his eyes.

I sighed as I thought of Edward. He was exhausted, and stretched to the limit. Yet,

the change I had seen in him since the day in the stairwell was huge. I watched him
use the simple exercises he'd been given and not once had I seen him lose his
temper or even hear a change in his tone when speaking, no matter how exhausted
he was. I knew he was determined to stop the cycle of overreacting and I was so
proud of him. I also knew it had been a difficult thing for him to ask for help, but he
did it and he was trying so hard. He was determined to stop his sudden outbursts,
and his sessions with Trina were a huge help.

I reached for my coffee, taking a sip as I watched Emma. There was a key here; I

just had to find it. She was waiting for something, a signal or some sort of
permission to talk out loud again. Something we just weren't saying. Just as Edward
needed someone to help him, Emma needed the right motivation to help her end her
silence.

Emma looked up at me and I smiled at her sweet face. "Finished your picture, my

girl?"

Emma nodded and held it out, her face serious, with no returning smile. She had

been quite withdrawn all day and I got up to go see what she had drawn out. Maybe

- 165 -

it would give me a clue.

I sat down on the beanbag chair and pulled her into my lap. Rags stood up,

stretched and jumped down, ambling over to his food bowl. I settled Emma more
comfortably onto my lap and looked down at the picture. Frowning, I studied it,
seeing so much pain in the simple drawing. I laid it at our feet and pointed to the
revealing picture. "Is this us, Emma? You and Daddy, me and Rags?"

I felt her little nod. I pointed to my image. I was between her and Edward, holding

both their hands and the only one smiling. Rags was a small fuzzy image beside
Emma. There was a heart drawn in the middle of the picture. "I like this heart. What
does it mean?"

She looked up at me and kissed her fingers, laying them on my lips. "You love me,

Emma?"

Again she nodded. I picked up her hand and kissed her little fingers. "I love you

too, my girl."

I pointed to the faces she had drawn on her and Edward, the expressions both the

same. "Why does Daddy look so sad?" I asked quietly.

I felt her shrug. "Emma is sad as well." I sighed. "I don't like Emma sad. Neither

does Daddy."

Emma's finger tapped at Edward's image and she looked up at me frowning. "You

don't like Daddy sad either?"

"No," her breathless little whisper said so much. My pulse raced as I heard her

voice; it was the first time she had used it all day. I chose my next words carefully.

"Do you want Daddy to be happy again?"

She gazed at me nodding 'yes', her eyes alight with yearning.

An idea began to grow in my head. I spoke slowly to her, wanting to make sure

she understood what I said. "Do you remember when we found Rags, Emma? Do you
remember what I told you?" I waited as she looked at me, her forehead furrowed as
she thought back to that day. "I told you Rags was lonely and needed someone to
love him. That the only way he'd grow up and be happy was to be talked to everyday
and looked after by someone special. And you did that. Every day you talked to him.
And look how big and happy he is!" We both looked over to the corner where Rags

- 166 -

was now curled in his basket, grooming his fur. "You did such a good job!" I praised
her, dropping a kiss on her cheek. "And you made Angela so happy last week when
you spoke to her, do you remember how she stopped being sad?" I paused and
lowered my voice. "Daddy is sad because he misses you talking to him, Emma. He
misses your voice. He needs to hear you talk, too."

She shook her head sadly.

"Why not, Emma? Why can't you talk to Daddy? " I asked encouragingly, and

waited, praying she would somehow give me a clue. Her teeth worried her bottom
lip as she gazed up at me. I could see her need to speak, but I could also sense her
overwhelming hesitancy.

"Tell me, baby," I begged. "It's okay, Emma."

I felt my eyes widen in amazement as Emma spoke; halting and stumbling, the

words came out slowly. "Mommy not lub me cause I talks and makes noises. She go
away. If I no talks den Daddy stay wif me." Her bottom lip trembled. "I lub my
daddy. I…I no want him to go away." Emma's voice was hesitant and rough from
being unused. But her thoughts were clear.

I gasped softly. Not only was that the most I had ever heard her say, it was also

the saddest statement she could make. This was what she had been carrying around
in her head. Fear of losing her daddy. To her, if she remained silent he wouldn't
leave her. Her silence meant Edward would stay.

My poor little girl.

"No, Emma. Daddy will never leave you. He loves you more than anything in the

whole world," I assured her, cupping her little cheek. "He loves to hear you talk. He
misses you talking. And, he misses your giggles. He told me."

Her brow furrowed. "Me scarwed, Bewwa." Her voice had dropped back to a

frightened whisper.

I closed my eyes, my heart aching. I knew what she needed. She needed to hear

Edward tell her he would never leave. That he needs her voice. He had been told not
to push her, not to put pressure on her, but maybe what she needed was a gentle
push to finally open up. And it had to come from him.

My thoughts raced.

- 167 -

Oh, Edward where are you? I need to you get here.

"I know you're scared, baby. But Daddy wants you to talk. Remember when I was

scared the other night? How Daddy and you looked after me? I wasn't scared
anymore when I told your daddy; he helped me. He would help you, too."

She looked at the picture, confused.

"If me talks…Daddy be happy?" I could hear a flicker of hope in her voice.

"Oh, baby, it would make him happier than anything. It would make him big and

strong again. Just like Rags."

"He not go away?"

I fought to hold back my tears. Her little body was shaking as she spoke in her

halting way, finally allowing her fears to be seen, and heard.

Out front, I heard the door opening, and I closed my eyes gratefully.

Edward. Oh please.

Edward appeared in the doorway and stood looking at us uncertainly, instantly

understanding something was happening. He crossed over and sat down on the floor
in front of us, and leaning over, we both were given a gentle kiss on the forehead as
he studied us with his tired eyes, the weight of the world on his slumped shoulders.

"How are my girls?"

I pushed the picture towards him. "Emma was telling me about her picture,

Daddy."

Edward froze as his hand reached for the picture and his eyes flew to mine.

Reaching over, I took his hand, squeezing it encouragingly. I nodded at him, trying
to let him know to remain calm.

"Emma is scared, Daddy."

"No, Emma, why are you scared, Babygirl?" Edward asked softly as he reached

over and pulled her into his lap. "What happened?"

Emma's eyes found mine and my heart clenched at the pain and fear in them. I

- 168 -

had to tread carefully, but it was time to push.

"Edward."

He tore his gaze away from Emma and looked at me. "She's shaking," he frowned.

I saw his arms tighten around her. Silently, I begged him with my eyes to trust me.
To follow me.

"She wants to tell you something."

"You can tell me anything, Emma," he spoke encouragingly. "But only when you're

ready. Daddy will listen."

"No," I insisted gently. "Now, Edward. She is waiting for you to tell her it's okay.

She needs to know how it would make you feel if she talked again."

He frowned, shaking his head as he spoke quietly to me. "I can't force her, Bella.

It might do more harm than good. All the doctors told me not to push."

"Trust me, Edward. Please."

He studied me for a minute and then looked down at Emma. His large hand gently

stroked her head. I could see that he was shaking with the effort of staying calm as
he took in a deep breath. "Daddy wants you to talk, Emma. He wants you to giggle
and laugh and ask me questions. He misses your voice. He misses his giggly girl so
much." His voice caught and I saw a tear trickle down his cheek. "Nothing would
make Daddy happier."

"You need her to talk, right Daddy? If she talked you wouldn't be sad anymore,

right?" I encouraged him gently.

He hesitated, his voice breaking as he looked down at her, his fingers running

through her hair. "Yes. I need my Emma to talk. I need it more than anything." My
heart clenched as I saw more tears slip down his face, his façade crumbling as he
begged his daughter for the one thing he wanted more than anything.

The room was completely silent for a moment.

"You not go away, Daddy?"

Edward's gasp was filled with pain. Watching his physical reaction to her voice

was agony. His entire frame quivered with nerves as he fought to stay in control. His

- 169 -

hands moved, cupping her face, his thumbs rapidly moving in small circles as he
struggled with himself. But when he spoke, his voice was gentle and warm, although
shaking with barely repressed emotion.

"No Emma, Daddy will never go away. Never."

"You lubs me?"

"More than anything."

"Mommy not lub me. She go away 'cause I talk."

He shook his head, lowering himself down to rest his forehead to hers for a

minute. His hands cupped her tiny face. His voice was shaking when he spoke again.
"Mommy was wrong, baby. She was bad."

"Emma not bad?"

"No Babygirl. Emma is not bad. Emma is a good girl. She is the best girl in the

world."

Her face scrunched up as she thought about what he said.

"Daddy stay? Even if I bad sometimes? And makes noises? "

"Nothing you do could ever be bad enough I would leave you, Emma. Always,

Emma. Daddy will always be here. Daddy promises. But Daddy needs you to keep
talking, okay?" He paused, trying to get himself under control. "Daddy loves your
noises. They make me so happy, Babygirl."

"Me keep Wags? He tum home wif us?"

"Yes. We'll take Rags home."

Her eyes drifted to me.

"Bewwa stay?"

I nodded; my throat too tight to speak.

"Fuhevea, Daddy? Pwomise? You no go away?"

- 170 -

My heart clenched. Oh, Emma. Still so scared.

"Forever."

Emma leaned up and patted his wet cheeks. "Youd is cwying Daddy. I talking but

you not happy yet?"

"I am happy, Babygirl. You've made me happier than I've ever been," he

whispered as his voice broke. "These are tears of happiness, Emma. Daddy is so
happy right now." He kissed her cheeks gently. "Thank you for making Daddy happy
again. Daddy loves you so much, Babygirl."

Edward gathered her up into his arms, rocking both of them as his emotions

became too much. Emma's little arms wrapped around his neck and I heard her sobs
coming from the shelter of his safe embrace.

Tears streamed down my face as I watched them both let out months of pain,

praying that now they could both start healing...together.

Edward looked up, his eyes filled with tears, but more peaceful than I had ever

seen them. Silently, he held one arm open, and scrambling, I moved into the
embrace he offered. I wrapped my arms around them both, my own tears soaking
into Edward's shirt. I felt Edward's lips at my ear, his breath hot against my skin.
"Thank you," he whispered brokenly.

I held him tighter and dropped small kisses on Emma's head. I felt like I was

holding my entire world. It was at that exact moment I realized how deeply in love I
was with both of them. Emma was so precious to me. And…Edward…he was my
entire life now.

Without even knowing it, he had become my everything.

They had become my family.

And I would do whatever it took to mend my family and keep them safe.

Well, I sobbed writing this. So much pain for our darling Emma and her

Daddy. Bella found the key. Can they move forward now?

See you on the weekend.

Thank you for reading. Be safe.

- 171 -

Chapter 28

The response to the last chapter was, without a doubt, out of this world.

Thank you. Your reactions and how you feel about our little blossoming
family touch me deeply.

Bella drove us home. I couldn't release Emma from my arms and I certainly

couldn't drive in the emotional shape I was in. I sat, hunched over and buckled up in
the back seat, my arms around Emma, Bella's eyes checking on us in the rear view
mirror the entire way. When we got home, she quickly moved into the bathroom and
started filling the tub. Emma and I sat together on the sofa, huddled and holding
each other. I was terrified if I let her go the silence would once again descend. She
seemed to need me just to hold her; to be close to me, and I realized I need it as
well. When Bella came into the living room, she stood looking at us, her eyes filled
with concern. Kneeling down, she smiled up at both of us.

"How about a bubble bath while I make supper, Emma? Would you like that?"

Emma pulled away slightly, and regarded me nervously. "Daddy stay?"

Wincing at the sound of her hoarse little voice, I tightened my arms. "Always,

Babygirl," I assured her. "Daddy will stay."

"Otay."

Bella reached out her open arms, and I waited to see if Emma would allow herself

to be removed from my hold. Tentatively, she leaned over into Bella's embrace. Bella
smiled at her as she settled her on her hip. "I'll get her into the tub, Edward. You
take a minute and then you can come play with her while I make dinner, okay?" she
asked gently, her hand tenderly stroking my hair.

Nodding, I captured her hand and kissed it lovingly. My gaze took in the sight of

her holding my daughter, calming me with her presence and helping us both find a
little normal with a routine we needed to keep to. Taking in a deep breath, I smiled
at them. "Daddy will be right there, Babygirl."

Emma smiled and leaned her head on Bella's shoulder. As they disappeared

around the corner, I sank back into the sofa, feeling a thousand different emotions
running through my mind. I was physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and still
trying to grasp what had just happened.

- 172 -

My Emma had talked. Expressed her fears. Cried. Accepted comfort.

Could this be the start we needed? Could she heal now? Sighing, I closed my eyes,

praying we had reached that point.

From the bathroom, came the sound of splashing, and I heard Bella laughing and

gently scolding Rags. I smiled at the warm sound and then stilled as a softer, even
sweeter sound met my ears. One I had despaired of ever hearing again.

Emma giggled. It was hesitant, short and still quiet, but it was there.

My head dropped into my hands as another rush of emotion tore through me.

I heard Bella's answering giggle and I smiled through my tears.

In that exact moment, I knew without a doubt, that with Bella, we could both heal.

Standing up, I made my way towards the sounds of happy giggles, needing to be
part of the fun; needing to be with my girls.

I paused in the doorway, watching Rags on his hind legs, swatting at the bubbles.

Emma was moving her fingers under the mounds of fluff and he was leaning over
trying to grasp them in his paws, causing both of them to giggle as they watched his
antics. I chuckled at the scene and Emma looked up.

"Wags funny, Daddy." Emma wrinkled her nose as she smiled shyly, before

giggling again.

My heart soared at the sight. How I had missed that. Her sweet little face happy,

her eyes alive, her emotions on display for me to see and share. Kneeling down
beside Bella, I leaned over and kissed Emma's head and then did the same to Bella.
"He is funny. I love your giggles, Babygirl," I assured her warmly, wanting to
encourage her to keep being vocal. "They're the best sound in the world."

"You happy now, Daddy?"

"I am Babygirl. I am."

"Me, too."

Bella stood up. "I'm going to make supper. You'll be okay?" she asked quietly, her

hand gently squeezing my shoulder.

- 173 -

I smiled up at her, nodding. "We're going to be just fine."

"How did you know?" I asked quietly as I sat on the floor watching Emma sleep. I

couldn't bear to leave her side yet. My hand was wrapped around her little one,
needing to feel her warmth. Bella sat beside her on the bed, gently stroking her hair,
the book she had been reading from still open on her lap. She smiled down at me as
she shrugged.

"She'd been acting strangely all day, in fact, since she spoke to Angela last week.

Like she was ready to talk, but still scared to do so. And when I saw the picture, I
knew she was trying to tell me something. The time felt right."

"All this time," I murmured, regretfully. "All this time she's been afraid I would

leave if she spoke. I thought she knew she was loved and safe with me." I shook my
head sadly. "She's been scared for so long, Bella. Maybe I should have pushed
sooner?"

"No, Edward." Bella shifted and slid down to the floor beside me, grasping the

hand that lay on my leg in comfort. "I don't think she was ready before. This was the
right time. We've been gradually breaking down her walls and getting her ready to
do this. I'm just so glad you trusted me enough today to go along with my feeling."

I gripped her hand tightly. "I do trust you, Bella." I drew in a deep breath. "What

you did today, what you have done since we met you…there simply aren't enough
words to say thank you properly. You brought my daughter back to me."

Bella's eyes shone in the dimness. Releasing Emma's hand, I stood up and tucked

it securely under the covers and kissed her little forehead. Leaning down, I helped
Bella up from the floor and quietly we went into the kitchen.

"Coffee?" she asked gently.

I nodded, but before she could move, I pulled her into my arms. I held her tightly,

burrowing my face into her hair, breathing in her warm scent. We stood, silently
holding each other, needing to feel that unique closeness we shared.

"I have no words right now, Bella," I whispered. "Nothing can express what I'm

feeling right now. About what has happened, about what I'm feeling for you, or
because of you."

- 174 -

She tilted her head back, smiling warmly. "I don't need words right now, Edward.

You're saying everything you need to, just like this," she spoke quietly as her arms
tightened around me in response.

Smiling, I lowered my head, slowly grazing her lips with mine. Tenderly I kissed

her, pouring all the emotion I was feeling into it. My lips moved with hers sweetly,
my tongue softly caressing hers. Neither of us deepened the kiss, both of us content
to be close and share this moment. Eventually I drew back.

I smiled down at her. "Saturday. Dinner with me. Please?"

Bella blinked. "Saturday? I thought we were going out for supper tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Friday night is our family night."

Bella looked puzzled. "Family night?"

"You, me and Emma. Pizza. We're starting a tradition."

Her smile was brilliant. "I like traditions," she whispered shyly.

"But Saturday I'm taking you out. Just us."

"Emma?"

"Mom had already asked about having her for a jammie party. So I want to take

you out. Please?"

She nodded. "Yes."

Grinning, I kissed her again, and then pulled back. "Is it too much Bella? Am I

expecting too much?"

"Too much?"

"Well, I just sort of assumed there, didn't I? That you were available to be with me,

with us, the next two nights."

Leaning up, she nuzzled my cheek. "I'm available, Edward. And it's exactly where I

want to be."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and tightened my arms around her.

- 175 -

"I'll get coffee. I think you need to call your parents and share some news."

I nodded. "They will be so excited. I'm sure mom will be here first thing."

Bella chuckled. "I'm pretty sure she will be at the centre all day as well." She

hesitated. "Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I know it's your decision, but have you considered the next step?"

"Next step?"

"Emma is going to need a little help. I know an amazing speech therapist. She

works independently and I'm sure she'll even come to the centre. Maybe I can
arrange a meeting with her for you? If you want me to." She paused, and I could see
her fingers plucking nervously at her sleeve. "I don't want to overstep."

I reached down and picked up her hands. Holding them, I pulled her closer. "You

aren't overstepping Bella. I was so caught up in what happened, I hadn't even
thought of that. Of course she'll need some help. Thank you. You have no idea what
it means to me…to Emma." I smiled at her. "All in, Bella. We are in this together.
And I can't do it without you. Emma can't do it without you. You make us stronger,
can't you see that? You make us better. You make everything better. Everything."

A tear rolled down her cheek.

I drew in a deep breath. "We're a family now, Bella. And you are the center of it.

Please know that. Please know how important you are to us." I paused. "Even
Emma's picture showed that. You were the one holding us together."

Her smile was tremulous as she blinked away her tears. Reaching up, I stroked

her cheek.

"Go call your mother," she whispered, a teasing note in her voice.

I grinned, dropping a kiss onto her head. "Yes, dear."

See you on Wednesday. My husband arrives home after being gone almost

a month on Thursday so I will give you your update a day early. I think I may
be otherwise occupied Thursday evening. **Smiles widely.**

- 176 -

Thank you again.

Be safe.

- 177 -

Chapter 29

In answer to the many queries, 8 more chapters left. As well I am donating

an outtake to the Standup for Katalina Compilation. See my group for more
information. Many amazing authors donating for this cause.

See you at the end...

My eyes snapped opened the next morning. Instantly, I was filled with both

anticipation and nerves. Getting up, I went straight into Emma's room to wake her
up, praying the silence hadn't returned overnight. I needed to hear her voice again,
to know what had happened was real and would continue. When her sleepy eyes
opened, I smiled down at her. "Morning, my Babygirl," I whispered.

I waited; my body taut with hope. Her sweet smile and yawn happened first and as

I smiled down at her, she lifted Rags up. "We needs a morning tiss, Daddy," she
insisted seriously. Grinning in relief, I did as instructed, dropping one on the furry
head offered to me, before leaning down and scattering small pecks all over Emma's
face, causing her little giggle to erupt again and again. "Where is Bewwa?" she
asked looking behind me.

"She had to go home, Babygirl. You'll see her at daycare."

She frowned. "I yike when she is here."

"I do, too."

"You ask her, otay, Daddy?"

"Ask her what, Babygirl?"

"You ask her to stay here wif us."

I hesitated. "It's a little more difficult than just asking her."

Emma's little lips pursed in confusion. "Why come? She say yes. I knowed it."

"You do, do you?" I asked smiling, lifting her out of bed to take her into the

kitchen for breakfast. I wasn't sure I could face this conversation without coffee.

- 178 -

She nodded. "She lubs us."

My breath caught. I knew without a doubt she loved Emma. And that it was

reciprocated. I knew I had fallen in love with Bella, and I hoped she felt the same
way. I needed to tell her. I needed to let her know just how important she was to me.
To us.

I now had another goal. One I needed to accomplish, soon.

I kissed Emma's head as I handed her some juice. "Daddy will work on it, okay?"

"Otay."

I heard a car door slam out front and smiled. "Grams is here."

Emma smiled. "Is she coming to daycare wif me?"

I nodded and stood her down on the floor. "Why don't you go say good morning to

her, Babygirl?"

"She be happy, too, Daddy?"

I nodded and smiled encouragingly. "She will be very happy."

I followed Emma to the door and opened it. Mom was walking up the steps,

looking like she would burst out of her skin at any given second.

"Calm, Mom," I said quietly as Emma stopped in front of me.

"Hi, Gwamma," Emma's voice was still shy and hesitant, but the words were clear.

"Oh, my darling girl," she whispered as she bent down and scooped Emma into

her arms. "Hello!"

I saw her glimmer of tears in her eyes as she stood holding Emma. Her hand

reached out and I clasped it in mine, squeezing tightly. "Edward," she whispered.

I nodded. "I know, Mom. I know."

Emma pulled back, her little hands wiping at the tears on Mom's cheeks. "No,

Gwams, you 'posed to be happy. Not cwy."

- 179 -

Mom laughed shakily. "I know sweetheart, Grams is being silly, isn't she?"

Emma nodded. "You hafta smile, Gwams, otay?"

"Okay."

"You coming to daycare wif me? To see Bewwa?"

"I am."

Emma wriggled and Mom let her slide down to the ground. "I go gets weady!"

"I put your clothes on your chair, Emma. Daddy will come and help you."

"No! Gwams!" she called over her shoulder as she ran down the hall.

Immediately, I was engulfed in my mom's embrace. "She's back," she whispered,

her voice thick with emotion.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"It's all going to get better now, Edward. I know it." She pulled back. "Now I need

to go get Emma ready and take her to daycare. I need to hug the woman who helped
bring her back to us."

"She did it all, Mom. She made all the difference. For both of us."

My mom tilted her head. "You love her, Edward, don't you?"

Silently, I nodded.

"Hold onto her then. Have you told her?"

"Not in so many words." I shrugged self-consciously.

"What words exactly then?"

I felt myself actually blushing under her scrutiny.

"Um, not the right ones?" I volunteered sheepishly.

"What are you waiting for?"

- 180 -

Now I grinned. "For my daughter and mother to have a jammie party. Like

tomorrow night?"

She laughed. "Done. I already told you I would love to, anytime. We'll have so

much fun!" She turned to walk down the hall. "And Edward? Make it good. Do me
proud."

Chuckling, I went into the kitchen.

I planned to do just that.

There was no way I could wait until the evening to see Bella, so it was the three of

us that arrived together at the daycare, Rags in his carrier being held by my mother.
Bella looked up from her task in the kitchen and smiled widely at us. As she
approached, she opened her arms and Emma dropped my hand to rush to her. Bella
swung her up into her arms and they stood snuggling briefly before Emma started
talking quietly to her, her hands gesturing as Bella listened in rapt attention to
whatever story she was sharing with her. Watching the tender moment, I felt my
throat tighten. Glancing over, I saw my mom blinking to clear away her own tears as
she witnessed Emma being loved so sweetly by Bella.

Bella's laugh made me smile as she walked over. Reaching up, she brushed her

kips across my cheek. "Good morning," she breathed softly.

I smiled down at her. "It certainly is."

Still holding Emma, she turned and greeted my mom and then sat Emma down on

her feet. Immediately, Mom moved in and hugged her, speaking quietly to her.
When she pulled away I saw both of them had tears in their eyes as they exchanged
knowing glances. Then Mom extended her hand to Emma. "Let's go and get you
ready for a good day, Emma!"

Leaning down, I kissed her warm little cheek. "Daddy will see you later, okay?

You, me and Bella will go for supper."

"Otay. Pizza, wight? I lubs pizza."

I chuckled. "Yes, pizza tonight."

Emma nodded happily and picked up Rag's carrier and went with Mom towards

- 181 -

the cubby and coat area.

I looked over at Bella. "Can I, er, speak with you privately for a moment?"

She frowned and nodded, indicating her office. I followed her silently and stood in

front of her as she shut the door. "What's wrong, Edward?" she asked quietly.

I said nothing. I lunged at her, sweeping her up into my arms and crashing my lips

onto hers. Her arms wound around my neck and she pulled herself tightly to me,
welcoming my passion with her own. Impatiently, I opened her mouth to mine and
my tongue tasted her sweetness. Coffee and Bella. Nothing could be better.
Groaning, I crushed her impossibly closer to me, revelling in her scent and warmth
as I kissed her over and over again. Regretfully, I drew back, but kept her close as I
rested my forehead against hers, taking in lungful's of needed air, trying to calm
myself.

"Wow," she whispered softly. "Not the usual occurrence when a parent asks to

speak to me."

"Better not be," I growled playfully.

She smiled and looked up at me, her hand stroking my cheek. "Are you all right?"

I shrugged. "I think so. I feel a little overwhelmed. And terrified she'll suddenly

stop talking again," I confessed.

Bella shook her head. "She won't, Edward. We'll keep her talking. I called my

friend, Victoria, and she is going to meet with you and Emma on Monday. Here."

"What time?"

"When you pick her up."

"Will you sit with us?"

Bella smiled. "If you want me to."

I nodded. "Yes. I told you; you are the centre of this, Bella. I can't do it without

you."

She smiled shyly. "Then I am with you, Edward. All in. Whenever you need me."

- 182 -

I kissed her forehead. "I will always need you, Bella." Wrapping my arms around

her, I held her tightly. "Thank you," I whispered emphatically. "For everything."

She drew back smiling, and leaned up, kissing me gently. "Go to work, Edward.

We'll be waiting for you when you are done." She grinned impishly. "Then we'll both
talk your ear off over pizza." Her eyebrow quirked at me. "And apple crumble."

I grinned. "With extra caramel sauce?"

Bella sniffed. "As if there was any other way to eat it?"

I chuckled and kissed her one last time. Sweetly.

"Looking forward to it, Ms. Swan."

"Have a good day, Dr. Cullen."

And this time she kissed me. Hard. Passionately. Possessively. I groaned deeply as

I felt the possessiveness in her kiss, and hot, wanting desire spiked. She stepped
back, grinning at me as she opened the door and backed out, winking.

"I'll, um, leave you to collect yourself." She smirked as she glanced in the direction

of my lower region.

I leaned back against the door, struggling to calm myself. Although I was grateful

for tight boxers and loose pants, I still couldn't walk through the daycare at the
moment, especially with my mother out there. I tried desperately to think of
anything except what Bella felt like pressed up against me. How she tasted in my
mouth. How she was going to feel under me tomorrow night.

Outside, I heard my mother talking. "Is Edward still in your office, Bella? Should I

check on him? Is he all right?"

Just the thought of my mother walking in here and seeing my…predicament, did it.

I felt myself relax and my erection begin to soften.

"His pager went off. He was using my phone," Bella lied effortlessly. "Come to the

kitchen, Esme. Coffee is ready."

"Oh, lovely." Mom's voice faded and I opened the door and looked around. The

coast was clear. Quickly, I dashed across the daycare and made it to my car before
anyone could see me. I texted Bella after I got into the car.

- 183 -

You'll pay for that QB – E

Her reply was prompt.

Promises, promises, but I hope so Dr. Cullen…I hope so. ~QB xx

Grinning, I drove to the hospital and made my way to the staff locker room to get

ready for the day. I could still taste her sweetness on my lips when I got to my
locker.

I liked it.

A lot.

Sweet Emma. Naughty Bewwa. Giggles. My husband is coming home

EARLY so you got this one a day earlier than scheduled.

I plan on being naughty EE. Yay me! See you on the weekend!

- 184 -

Chapter 30

It's Thanksgiving here in Canada. I want to give thanks for my wonderful

readers. What a blessing you are in my life...here is your update.

I pulled up in front of the daycare, smiling in anticipation. My girls were waiting

for me and I had the entire weekend off to devote to them. I planned on both of them
knowing how much they meant to me by the end of the weekend. Each in their own
special way.

Walking in, I heard music playing and I went over to Bella's door, leaning against

the frame as I watched them dancing together, enjoying the sight of Emma being a
little girl and having fun. Bella was twirling Emma around as Emma laughed and
sang in her off key little voice and the heartwarming vision made me smile. I looked
around, noticing Rags wasn't on his bed or in his carrier and in fact I couldn't see
either item. Normally he would be as close to Emma as possible. That seemed
strange. Clearing my throat, I smiled as the two of them stopped their twirling and
singing to look at me. "Sorry to interrupt."

Emma let go of Bella and barrelled towards me. Leaning down, I scooped her up,

planting loud wet kisses on her cheeks as she giggled. My heart soared at hearing
the sweet sound and I smiled even wider and made nom nom noises while I tickled
her, telling her she looked good enough to eat. I was rewarded with her laughter as
Bella stood smiling at us. Finally, I sat her back on the ground and grinned down at
her. "Did you have a good day, Babygirl?"

She looked over at Bella before nodding. "Me had fun wif Bewwa."

"And I had fun with you," Bella spoke up as she came forward, her hand stroking

the top of Emma's head.

Leaning forward, I kissed Bella's forehead gently, happy to be close to her again.

She returned my kiss, softly grazing my cheek but I saw her catch her lip in her
teeth right after she did. Pulling back, I frowned at the nervous look on her face.
Something was wrong. "Bella?"

"Edward, we need to talk."

My stomach clenched. "I really don't like the sound of that."

- 185 -

She sighed. "Just promise me, you won't overreact. Please."

I studied her for a moment. I knew she was thinking of what had happened before.

"I won't. I promise," I said quietly. That was never going to happen again. I had
worked too hard to let it.

Emma pulled on my hand. I allowed myself to be led to the beanbag chairs and I

sat down, pulling Emma onto my lap. As I watched Bella sit across from me, I
couldn't help remembering what had occurred the last time we were in these
beanbag chairs and I felt my lips twitch with a smug smile. Judging from the blush
on Bella's cheeks she was thinking the exact same thing as well.

"What's up, my girls?"

Emma spoke up. "Wags can't come wif me to daycare anymoe Daddy. He hafta

stay home."

I looked over at Bella, confused. This had been her idea. "Why?"

"We have a new pupil starting on Monday. She is highly allergic to cats. When

they came to see the daycare last time Rags wasn't here. They came by today to
confirm she would be starting on Monday. I only found out she was allergic then. So
Rags needs to stay home."

I drew in a deep breath. "Oh." Well that certainly changed things. "Where is Rags

now?"

"Your mom took him home with her. I have a crew coming in Sunday to clean and

disinfect everything. He was fairly sequestered, usually just in here, so I'm sure
we're okay."

I nodded and looked down at Emma, worried. "Are you upset, Emma?"

She shook her head. "Bewwa tolds me before Daddy, dat when he got big he not

want to come to scool wif me. She say it only tem… temm…" Emma looked over at
Bella. "What da word?"

Bella smiled at her. "Temporary."

Emma nodded. "Temp..ar…awy, Daddy."

"Okay." I sat back more confused. Emma seemed fine. Why was Bella so nervous?

- 186 -

Emma pulled on my jacket to get my attention.

"Wags needs a fwiend, Daddy." Emma regarded me seriously. "He be all aloned all

day. And sad. I not yike dat."

I straightened up and looked at her. Then my gaze flew to Bella, who was shaking

her head. "Not my idea, Edward. She came up with it all by herself." Her eyes
pleaded with me to remain calm.

I shut my eyes and drew in a deep breath. Another kitten. Emma was asking me

for another kitten.

"Do you think it's a good idea, Bella?" I asked; my eyes still shut. I was pleased to

hear my voice was calm and steady though. Trina would be pleased as well.

Silence met my question. I opened my eyes to find both of them staring at me.

"Bella?" I prompted; making sure my voice was gentle.

She nodded hesitantly. I quickly made a decision. Looking down at Emma, I

cupped her cheek. "You would have to help Daddy, Emma. Take care of them. They
need lots of love and care."

She nodded quickly. "I knows, Daddy! Bewwa tells me dat too! I a big giwl and I

helps! I pwomiss!"

Looking up, I smiled at Bella. "Guess we need to add in a trip to the shelter this

weekend."

Her smile was brilliant. "Okay, Edward."

Emma clapped her hands and stood up. "Pizza now, Daddy?"

I nodded. "Go get your coat, Babygirl."

Excited, she spun around, clapping loudly. "Me gets anofer kitten to play wif! And

den Bewwa will comes and lives wif us too! Me yikes dis! All of dis! Yay!"

And with that excited announcement, she bounded out of the room, leaving Bella

gaping at me while I pulled on my hair and looked anywhere but at her directly.

"Um, Edward?"

- 187 -

I stood up awkwardly, and reached my hand down to help Bella out of her chair. I

pulled her to me tightly. "We'll talk later, please?" I asked her quietly.

Her arms tightened around me. "Okay," she agreed easily. "And you handled that

very well, Edward. Thank you."

I shrugged. "It makes sense, I suppose. And, it gives her more reason to talk." I

sighed. "She didn't ask for anything for such a long time. I'm thrilled she is actually
asking for something, even if it's another kitten. If I can give her this, then I'm happy
as well."

Bella mumbled something into my chest.

"What?" I asked lifting her chin.

She shook her head. "You are amazing, Edward. Just amazing."

"Glad you think so."

She shook her head and leaned up to brush a kiss over my lips. "I know so."

Groaning softly, I leaned down to capture her lips with mine, wanting more than a
brush of her lips.

Emma ran through the door. "Yets go!"

I pulled away regretfully. "Daddy was you tissing Bewwa?" Emma gasped.

Laughing, I scooped her up. "Trying to, Babygirl."

She frowned at me. "Dats what you do at home, Daddy. Bewwa is da teacha . You

no tiss da teacha," she scolded. "I calls her Miss Bewwa hewe, but at home I calls
her Bewwa. See? Dats da wules."

"I'll try and remember that, Emma," I said trying to keep a straight face.

"You can add it to your list of arguments for later, Edward," Bella murmured as

she grabbed her purse. "If I can only kiss you at home, it might be a fairly
persuasive one." She winked at me as she walked past me.

It was my turn to gape at her.

- 188 -

Dinner was a different affair that night. Emma chatted and giggled her way

through the meal, soaking up all the attention Bella and I heaped on her. The only
time she sat in her own seat was to eat dinner and otherwise she was on one of our
knees as she entertained us with her sweet personality. I had forgotten just how
clever she was for her age. Her voice was still quiet and slightly rough, but getting
braver. She stumbled over some words and even stuttered a little, and her lisp was
very pronounced, but I knew with some professional help she would be fine. She had
always lisped a little and I was sure she would eventually grow out of it, which
actually made me sad to think about. I found it endearing and made her even more
my girl as my mother had told me I did the same thing until I was about six. Her
losing her lisp meant she was growing up. And I wasn't ready for that.

I shook myself out of my musings. Today was about being happy. And I was. Today

I was happier than I could remember being in a very long time. And it was all to do
with the two people I was with.

Looking over, I smiled at Bella who was trying to coax Emma into three more bites

of salad, promising her dessert if she did. She had such a way with her and I loved
watching them together. Her mission finally accomplished, Bella put the fork down
and leaned back.

"Dessert?" I grinned.

She nodded as she pulled Emma onto her lap and cuddled her. "Coffee as well,

please."

"Bewwa, you wead me a book when we gets home?"

Bella smiled. "Don't you want Daddy to read it to you? He likes to read to you."

Emma giggled and lifted her mouth to Bella's ear. "He twies to do funny voices."

She shook her head. "Dey just…bad…and I not want to hurts his feewings."

I looked away, my smile barely hidden. I knew I sucked at the voices, but I thought

she liked them. I was rather relieved I wouldn't have to do them again.

Bella looked up at me, trying not to chuckle. "What is your favorite thing about

Daddy?"

Emma clapped her hands. "I lubs his hugs. Dey is da best. He sings to me. And he

makes up my owned songs! Me yikes dat lots." She looked at me, worried. "Is dat
otay, Daddy?"

- 189 -

I held out my arms and Emma leaned forward so I could lift her away from Bella.

"I'm good with just singing, Emma. Can I still read to you without the voices?" I
teased her as I nuzzled her head gently.

She nodded happily. "I yike dat, Daddy."

I cuddled her closely. "Me too."

She looked at Bella. "Did your daddy wead to you, Bewwa?"

Bella shook her head. "No, just my mommy did."

Emma looked at her, her voice dropping. "Did he do da funny voices too?"

Bella chuckled. "No, but he didn't like to read. He and I had our own special

things he did with me."

"You had a faborite ting, Bewwa? Yike my Daddy singing?"

Bella nodded; a soft expression on her face. "My daddy and I used to have special

nights together. My mom called them our Warm Memory nights."

Emma's eyes were wide. "Wats dat?"

Bella sighed quietly before she spoke. "He would set up a campfire in the

backyard and a tent for us to sleep in. We would roast hot dogs and make s'mores
and we would sit and talk all night. He would tell me stories about growing up and
he let me talk about anything that was going on in my life or ask any questions I
wanted. It was our special time. Just him and me; warm and cozy by the fire." Bella's
expression was almost wistful as she spoke. "I was a daddy's girl, just like you,
Emma. Sometimes my mom would join us though and we'd all share things, but
usually the only time mom would come out was to bring hot chocolate in the
morning." She looked up with a shy smile and I saw her eyes were damp. "They were
the best nights ever."

"You lubs your daddy, Bewwa?"

Bella's voice was low. "Very much."

"Maybe he tums and sees you?"

Bella smiled at her. "That is a good idea, sweetheart."

- 190 -

Dessert arrived and Emma slid off my lap to go back and sit with Bella. I was quiet

as I watched Bella for a minute, an idea forming in my mind. A night of warm
memories, just talking and enjoying each other's company. I wanted to do that for
her. I wanted to give her that. A chance for the two of us to share, in a setting that
made her happy. It would make her smile. And I loved to see her smile. I grinned to
myself. I could do this for her.

Bella caught my eye and smiled at me. "What are you thinking?"

I smirked. "Just imagining you outside camping in a storm."

She nodded. "That's why it was planned according to the weather and in the

backyard, Edward," she informed me seriously as she fed Emma some crumble
before spooning herself a large mouthful.

I chuckled and leaned forward to take a mouthful of the crumble before my girls

ate it all. "Good plan."

Emma was asleep on Bella's lap before dessert was even halfway done. Bella

gazed down on her tenderly, her hand stroking her head. "She had a big day today.
Everyone wanted to talk to her and she was so busy. And she handled the news
about Rags like such a good girl."

I nodded. "You were afraid I was going to get angry over the kitten, Bella?"

"I was afraid you would jump to the conclusion I had suggested the idea to her,"

she admitted. "That I had made a decision on your behalf."

Leaning forward, I clasped her hand with mine. "I'm not jumping anymore, Bella. I

told you I was going to stop doing that. Trina is teaching me to think before I react
now. I didn't always act like such an ass. It only started after…after Tanya left."

"I understand, Edward. You were hurt. It changed you."

"I was. But never by you and I won't make that mistake again." I squeezed her

hand. "I will never hurt you like that again, Bella. And if you had suggested it to
Emma, I would have known it was because you felt it was the right thing to do. I
know you have her…and my best interests at heart, Bella."

"Always, Edward."

I nodded, squeezing her hand firmly. "I know."

- 191 -

I opened the car door and Bella slid Emma into her car seat and buckled her in.

Shutting the door, I wasted no time pinning her up against the side of the vehicle
and pressing up against her as I kissed her deeply.

"I want you to come home with me."

Bella shook her head. "Not yet, Edward. We need to talk. And I don't want to

confuse Emma."

"Tomorrow," I growled. "Tomorrow night, you're mine. Just mine. Got it?"

Bella hummed in agreement as she pulled my head back to her lips. "Yours."

I held her closely as I delved back into her mouth, tangling my tongue with hers.

Breaking the kiss, I burrowed my head into her shoulder. "Stay with me tomorrow
night?" I asked quietly.

"Yes."

Playfully I nipped her neck, thrilled at her immediate response.

I pulled back and sighed. "I'll drive you back to your car now. We'll pick you up at

ten and go to the shelter?"

Bella nodded, breathlessly staring up at me.

I lowered my face closer to hers. "Bring your bag with you. I don't want you to go

back to your apartment tomorrow. I want you with me."

"Edward."

"I'm serious, Bella. I won't be able to let you go." I kissed her deeply. "Please," I

breathed quietly.

"Okay, I will…" her voice trailed off as I opened her door and helped her into her

seat.

"Hush. I need to make sure you get home." Leaning down, I reached over and

buckled her seatbelt, kissing her again. And again. "I need you rested. Because I
don't plan on you getting much sleep tomorrow night, Bella. I have too many plans
for us."

- 192 -

Her quiet whimper almost made me stumble before I shut her door.

I shut my eyes, drawing in a deep breath.

Why wasn't it Saturday yet?

There is an outtake from the chapter called Warm Memories which I have

donated to the Stand up for Katalina compilation. She told me what she
wanted the chapter to be about and I wrote it for her. Her own story made
me weep- she is an amazing lady. It is a great cause and the authors
donating to it are simply outstanding. Please check it out and make a
donation to receive a copy of the stories. As far as compilations go, I think it
will be epic.

katalinadotfandomcausedotinfo add the http and slashes and replace the

dot with a .

I will see you midweek. Next chapter is Date night.

- 193 -

Chapter 31

An early update... and a very Happy Birthday to my friend Lady V...

Date night has arrived.

There were cats everywhere. Big ones, small ones, kittens, grown up cats. All

kinds. All colors. Panicking, I looked over at Bella. How on earth were we ever going
to choose one? She gazed back at me, smiling. "Relax, Edward."

Leaning down, she spoke with Emma, who listened, as usual, to every word she

uttered. Then Bella released Emma's hand and watched as Emma began to slowly
walk up and down the aisles, stopping at cages and whispering to different cats as
she made her way through the large number of kennels.

"What is she doing?" I asked Bella.

She smiled. "Finding the right one for her and Rags."

I looked at her. "We're trusting that decision to a four year old?"

Bella chuckled. "She did well with Rags." Then she winked, leaning close. "She

picked me as well, Edward."

My arm came around her waist, pulling her into my side. Grinning, I kissed her

cheek. "My daughter is brilliant. Have I mentioned that? Impeccable taste in whom
she brings home."

Bella shook her head, snorting softly. "Nice catch, Edward." Then she stopped and

smiled. "Oh, we may have a winner."

I looked up to see Emma in front of a kennel, her fingers wiggling inside the bars

of the cage as she whispered away to the animal inside. Bella and I went over and
hunched down beside her. Looking inside I saw a mass of grey fur with white paws,
wrapped around Emma's fingers. Huge eyes regarded me solemnly. Looking at the
tag I saw it was a female cat, about six months old, already spayed. She had been at
the shelter for almost three months, having been abandoned. Frowning, I looked
down at Emma. "Don't you want another little kitten, Babygirl? There are some over
there."

- 194 -

Emma shook her head. "Wags needs a fwiend to yook afta him, Daddy. I yikes dis

one. She is sad. If she comes home wif us, she not be sad no more." The cat pulled
Emma's finger through the cage even further and licked it a little. "She yikes me too,
Daddy! I gots a tiss!"

I smiled at her and looked over at Bella. "She isn't very old, Edward. And she is

actually rather small. She just looks so much bigger because Rags is so tiny." She
gently offered the cat her finger through the bars and after sniffing it, the cat
proceeded to grab at it playfully. "Emma, before we ask to see," Bella looked at the
tag and smiled, "Storm, you should have a look around a bit more, okay?"

Emma stood up. "Otay. But I yike Stom."

"I know, but you have to be sure, right? Just like we talked about?"

"Otay." Emma moved away and continued down the aisle, looking at the other

cats.

I grinned at Bella. "Storm?"

She shrugged sheepishly. "The color I think."

Bella stood up and went over to talk to one of the women who worked here, to

make sure Storm would fit in okay at home with another cat and I followed Emma
around. She stopped and petted many cats and kittens, often talking and whispering
at them, but finally we ended up right back in front of Storm's cage again. "Dis one,
Daddy. Me yikes dis one. And Wags will too."

We all went into a small room and Chelsea brought Storm in so we could meet her

outside her cage. We sat on the floor in a semi-circle, waiting, and as soon as she
was out of her cage, she went over to Emma and sniffed at her warily. She did the
same to Bella, but when she got to me, she shocked us all by simply climbing into
my lap and curling up. I looked up at Bella who was smiling widely. Emma clapped
her hands in glee. "Daddy, she lubs you! We has to takes her home wif us!"

Looking at the delight on my daughter's face, I knew I couldn't refuse. Half an

hour later we were on our way home with Storm to introduce her to her new
playmate and home.

"Bella, do something," I pleaded.

- 195 -

"What exactly do you want me to do, Edward?" Bella's voice was filled with mirth.

"How long am I supposed to just…sit here?"

"Personally, I think you look rather cute. In fact…" I watched in horror as Bella

lifted her camera again.

"Don't."

"Yep. Have to," she teased as she clicked away.

I looked down with a groan. Emma was sound asleep, curled into my side, Rags on

top of her. Storm was nestled into my lap where she had been almost since the time
we had gotten home. She and Rags had warily sniffed each other, hissed a little and
then decided to ignore each other for a bit, until I had sat down and Emma had
joined me. Then both cats had crawled up on us and fallen asleep, Emma joining
them fairly quickly since she had been up so early with excitement at getting her
new "titten". Now, an hour later, they were a big ball of fur and happiness all
snuggled together, literally suffocating me.

I narrowed my eyes at Bella in warning. "You are going to pay for this."

She lowered the camera, grinning. "So you keep threatening, Edward. Looks like

your bark is worse than your bite, I'd say."

I leaned forward slightly. "Come over here Ms. Swan, and I'll show you some bite,"

I growled.

Bella stared at me for a minute before dissolving into laughter. I sat back deflated,

but then I had to grin. How menacing or sexy could I be covered in kittens and a
sleeping child?

"Bella, please. I have stuff to get ready for tonight. And I'm dying here; I swear all

of them are like little furnaces!"

"Ten more minutes, Edward. Emma is tired and I want her to be awake for your

mom. We can have a snack, let Emma play with her kittens for a while and then I'll
drive her there and you can do whatever it is you need to do to get ready. Okay?"

"Okay." I paused. "What are we doing with the cats?"

"I already told Emma they had to stay here and get to know each other. She is fine

- 196 -

with that."

I smiled at her. "You are so good with her, Bella."

"She's easy to love and be good to, Edward."

For some reason that statement brought Tanya to mind and I frowned.

"Have you called her yet?" Bella's gentle query broke into my thoughts. As always

I was amazed at how she knew what I was thinking.

I shook my head. "No. And I don't think I'm going to. There is nothing she has to

say I want to hear."

Bella nodded. "Okay."

I blinked at her. "Just like that?"

"Just like what?"

"You aren't going to try and change my mind?"

Bella stood up. "No, Edward. Need I remind you again, I am not her? It's your

decision. I will support you whatever way you decide."

I reached out my hand. "Bella, I'm sorry."

She smiled and took my hand squeezing it gently. Leaning down she kissed me.

"I'm your soft spot, Edward, remember? I'm here for you, just like you are for me."

I pulled her back down for another kiss. "The softest one of all, Bella. Thank you."

"Anything."

I arched an eyebrow at her teasingly. "Anything?"

Her breath caught and she nodded at me. I pulled her back so her ear was level

with my mouth. "Get these cats off me then, woman," I growled and nipped her ear.

She stood up, her eyes dancing. Leaning down, she gently picked up Storm. She

quickly leaned forward and kissed me passionately. "I rather like your bite, Dr.
Cullen. Keep that in mind for later," she whispered as she moved to wake up Emma.

- 197 -

I grinned as I watched her.

I planned to.

Everything was done. While Bella was gone, I ran a couple of errands, got my

room ready for later, showered and changed into dark pants and a blue button down
shirt. I heard her return and knew she was getting ready in the bathroom down the
hall and I went to the kitchen to put the wine in the fridge for after and pull out the
rose I had bought her. Suddenly I was nervous. Would she think my offering silly?

Bella appeared in the doorway and instantly I forgot about being anxious. She was

lovely. Her hair was up with a bunch of loose curls hanging down around her face
and neck and she was dressed in some sort of frothy blue dress that moved as she
walked towards me, smiling shyly. Wordlessly, I handed her the rose, adoring the
blush that tinged her cheeks as she accepted it, leaning up to kiss my cheek before
she sniffed at the vivid red bloom. "You are breathtaking," I managed to get out.

Her blush deepened and she smiled up at me. "You do clean up well, Dr. Cullen."

"May I take you to dinner, Bella?" I asked crooking my arm, smiling widely as she

tucked her arm through mine and nodded.

I plucked the rose from her hand and slipped it in the vase I had thought to buy

and escorted her to the car. We were both uncharacteristically quiet on the way to
the restaurant. I could feel the anxiety rolling of Bella. Internally, I cursed myself.
Why was I so nervous? It was Bella. It was us. I parked the car and turned towards
her, frowning when I saw she was biting her lip.

"Bella?"

"Edward…I don't want this."

My heart sank.

"I don't need this."

"Me? You don't need me?" I asked, the pain evident in my voice.

She looked at me aghast.

- 198 -

"No! This!" She waved towards the restaurant. "I don't need a fancy dinner or to

get all dressed up and be romanced with expensive wine and witty conversation."

"What do you need, Bella?"

"Just you. Us. Alone. I want you, Edward." She drew in a deep breath.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice trembling. "So much."

One second I was in the driver's seat, and the next, I had Bella pressed up against

the passenger side window, kissing her with total abandonment. My tongue pressed
into her mouth, tangling with hers as I poured out all my feelings into her with my
kiss. One hand wound into her hair, destroying her artful creation as the other hand
pulled her closer, holding her firmly against me. I couldn't get close enough as my
tongue delved and tasted, needing, wanting more of her. I pulled away gasping for
air and looked down at her, panting with desire.

"I'm taking you home," I rasped.

"Yes."

"Now."

"Yes."

"I'm making you mine. Tonight."

"Yes, Edward. Please," she breathed.

My voice became gentler, my finger stroking her cheek lightly. "Bella."

I waited until her lovely eyes looked up at me. "I love you."

Her eyes filled with tears.

"Then show me."

Throwing myself back into the driver's seat, I punched the car into reverse,

peeling out of the parking lot and heading home.

- 199 -

I shut the door firmly and locked it. Silently, I followed Bella into the kitchen. The

entire ride home had been silent. Except, this time the air around us throbbed with
heat. Bella's hand never left my thigh as her fingers nervously clenched and pulled
at my leg. Mine covered hers, needing the feel of her skin against mine to stop me
from losing my mind before we got home. Every inch of my body was screaming for
her. I wanted to feel her against me, under me, all around me. I needed to taste her
skin and feel her warmth as I buried myself inside her. I hungered for her.
Desperately.

We stood facing each other silently. Both of us were breathing deeply, our chests

rising and falling rapidly. "This isn't what I had planned, Bella," I said huskily. "I
wanted to make this romantic and soft and perfect for you. I wanted to show you
how much I love you."

She shook her head. "It will be perfect, Edward. It's you. I need you."

Growling, I closed the distance between us, pulling her roughly to me and

crashing my lips to hers. Bending slightly, I lifted her up and carried her down the
hall to my room, my mouth never leaving hers.

In my room, I pulled back and placed her on her feet. "Oh, Edward," she

whispered as she took in the drawn curtains, rose petals on the bed and the candles
I had scattered around. "It's beautiful."

"Bella," I said quietly. "I haven't been with anyone for a long time… yeah, a long

time…and I was tested. I um, have protection…" I trailed off, cursing myself. I
should have discussed this with her before now. I knew she couldn't get pregnant,
but I wanted her to feel safe.

She shook her head. "It's been years for me, as well. And I trust you. Just you,

Edward. I just want to feel you."

I groaned and my hands tightened on her waist. I stepped back. "Let me light the

candles, Bella. Let me do this right," I pleaded quietly.

She nodded and I leaned down to kiss her gently before moving around to light

the candles and turn off the bedside light, leaving the room awash in soft flickering
light. Turning around, I gasped in surprise as I took in the beauty that met my gaze.
Bella stood, her hair now cascading down past her shoulders, her dress pooled at
her feet wearing just the tiniest scraps of lace and the shyest smile. The diffused
light cast shadows and highlights on her hair and skin and my fingers longed to
touch both. Desire and heat tore through me as I moved to stand in front of her, my

- 200 -

hands drifting up and gently caressing her shoulders and arms. Her shaking hands
were busy undoing the buttons of my shirt and when she was done I shrugged it off,
letting it fall to the floor, lying beside her frothy dress. I made quick work of my
pants, letting them join the pile of clothing at our feet and we stood gazing at each
other, basking in the warmth of the moment. Lovingly, I traced one finger over her
collarbone feeling the softness of her skin, like warm satin under my caress. Gently,
the last scraps of clothing were discarded and we stood close, our bodies barely
touching, the longing building, as my hands ghosted over her skin. I felt her shiver
under my touch, and I pulled her against me, relishing the feel of skin on skin and
groaning as I felt her hands skimming along my back, her fingers pressing into my
spine. Dropping my head to her shoulder, I gently kissed and nipped my way up her
neck to her ear. "I love you, my darling girl," I whispered. "Mine," I murmured
against the heat of her skin. "All mine." Bella whimpered and grabbed my head
crashing her mouth onto mine and I was lost in deep, raw desire.

Lifting her up, I carried her to the bed, lowering both of us to the mattress. Hands

stroked and caressed as our tongues danced in a sweet rhythm. The air around us
was filled with low moans, quiet whimpers and gasps as we explored each other with
searching fingers and open mouths. Whispered endearments were spoken and
declarations of love were repeated over and over again.

I wanted to know every inch of her. I wanted to claim every dip and swell with my

lips.

I wanted to know what made her gasp in delight and shudder in anticipation. I

wanted to make her mine. In every way possible.

Any space between us was too much. Every time my lips left hers I mourned their

loss until they were joined again. No skin would ever taste sweeter. No breasts
would ever feel this perfect cupped in my hands. My name would never sound as
right as it did when moaned wantonly in Bella's low voice. No other person would
ever fill this void in my heart.

She was the end for me. My everything. My forever.

My leg slipped between hers and she opened herself up to me. My fingers found

her warm, wet centre and slowly I stroked her. The feeling of her hand wrapped
around my throbbing erection was overwhelming and I groaned deeply into her
mouth.

"Please, Edward," she whispered breathlessly against my lips, arching her hips.

"Now."

- 201 -

Hitching her leg around my hips, I sunk into her slowly, my body humming and

burning at the fiery sensations. I had never experienced this before. This need to be
buried in her, to make her mine was all consuming. My heart ached with love for
her, every rapid beat calling out her name. Every inch she accepted into her body
was engulfed by slick warmth that pulsated with a life of its own. When I was buried
completely inside her, I stilled, aching with the feeling of rightness from being
joined with her completely. Our eyes locked and I was taken aback by the love and
passion that blazed back at me. Love that was mine, and meant for me alone. Unable
to tear my gaze away, I began moving in her, our hands entwined above her head as
I thrust deeply, my need to claim her, make her mine, growing with every
movement. Moaning, my mouth found hers again, savoring her taste, as we moved
together, the heat building as our skin slid effortlessly against each other, slick with
sweat and desire. I could feel Bella's orgasm building, her muscles beginning to
flutter around me.

"Let go for me, baby. Come for me," I begged. "I want to feel you come all over

me."

She stilled, her back arching sharply as her head tilted back and she screamed out

my name, her inner walls clamping down on me as I followed right behind her,
gripping her close as I roared out her name thrusting forcefully, giving her
everything I had.

Until there was nothing left.

Stilling in her and breathless, I looked down at her. She gazed up at me sweetly,

looking tired, happy and well loved; her lips swollen from my kisses, her skin
glistening with a thin sheen of sweat and her hair a tangled mess; all a beautiful
result of our shared passion.

She was breathtaking. She was mine.

Her hand came up and cupped my cheek tenderly. "I love you, Edward. You are

the most important thing in my life." Her words were heartbreakingly sweet and my
heart soared as I realized this was only the start. She would be with me now; a
constant in my life. A quiet peace and feeling of completion I'd never experienced
before settled into my body, seeping into every pore, replacing all the emptiness
that had existed.

I belonged to her. Completely . And her to me.

My lips traced hers gently.

- 202 -

"I love you, Bella."

Still holding her, I rolled us over, keeping her tucked into my chest. Reaching

down, I pulled a blanket around us, not wanting her to get cold.

"Sleep, my girl," I whispered, nuzzling into her wild hair.

Her head burrowed closer and a contented hum left her lips as she drifted off to

sleep in my arms. I watched her as she slept; still awed at the gift I had been given.
She sighed and burrowed herself deeper into my chest and my arms tightened,
holding her closer. She fit against me so well, her soft curves pressing into my chest.
My lips lovingly caressed her forehead with quiet adoration. "I love you, Bella," I
breathed into her skin.

Holding her warmth, savoring her closeness, I shut my eyes; reliving every

moment, every touch, every word.

She was right.

It was perfect.

Yeah. So. Part two in the next chapter. Did someone turn up the heat in

here?

- 203 -

Chapter 32

Date Night ... Part 2

I woke up slowly, instinctively reaching for Bella, only to find empty space beside

me. The room was dark, the candles extinguished. My door was partially open and I
could see the faint outline of light down the hall. Reaching over, I grabbed a pair of
sweats and pulled them on before padding down the hall to the kitchen where the
light was emanating from. I stood in the doorway smiling. Bella was busy at the
counter with her back to me. She was wearing my shirt from earlier, its tails resting
almost to her knees. I could see the sleeves had been rolled up past her elbows. Her
hair was pulled up high on her hair, ends escaping all over, leaving long tendrils
trailing over her shoulders and back. Quietly, I walked up behind her and wrapped
my arms around her waist, pulling her back against my chest. Immediately, my lips
sought out her neck and I rained small kisses up and down the soft column of her
throat. "Hey."

Her head tilted up, and leaning down, I captured her lips, kissing her deeply.

Whatever had been in her hands was dropped and she turned in my arms drawing
herself up tightly against me as she returned my kiss with a sweet sigh.

Pulling back, I dropped a kiss on her nose. "You were gone."

"I was making us something to eat."

I frowned. "I was supposed to take you to dinner. Lousy first date I turned out to

be."

Bella giggled. "Not a first date, Edward. Can't be."

"No?"

"Nope. I never put out on the first date."

My lips twitched up into a smile. "Is that so?"

Her head nodded. "It's true."

I mock glared at her. "Have there been a lot of these "I don't put out on the first

date" conversations?"

- 204 -

Bella laughed. "No."

"Good. Enlighten me, then. What number date was this then?"

"Seventh."

My eyebrows shot up. "Seventh?"

"Yeah." She drew back and used her fingers as markers. "First-lunch in my office

the day we met."

"That was a date?"

"Shut up. There was food and conversation. It was a date."

"Shit. I've been dating Jake all this time and didn't know it?"

Bella chuckled and continued our date list. "Second and third, the times you had

lunch with Emma and I."

I nodded knowingly. "Ah. Our chaperone. Kept us in line." I frowned. "But wait, I

had lunch twice a week, that's four dates."

She shrugged. "They were short; I counted them as half dates. So, the four equals

two, Edward." She sighed dramatically. "Try and keep up, okay?"

Grinning, I leaned down and nipped her neck sharply. "You are too fucking

adorable."

She glared and kept talking. "Fourth–the first night we went out for pizza."

Smiling, I stroked her cheek. "I kissed you."

"You did."

"I deserved that kiss. Four dates you know, my patience was getting pretty thin! I

hadn't even got to first base with you. I'm pretty sure I could have gone a lot further
with Jake by that point."

She rolled her eyes. "Hmm mmm." She shook her head. "Fifth-the gala."

I smiled and kissed her gently. "You were so beautiful."

- 205 -

"Hush."

"You were," I insisted, dropping another kiss on her pouting lips. "You are."

"Sixth," she continued, as if I hadn't interrupted her, "pizza last night."

Her hands flew up and opened like a magician at the end of his act. "And voila!

Tonight!"

"Wow," I nodded slowly, keeping my face serious. "I have been so patient with

you. Seriously woman, I have given you seven magical dates, waiting for you to put
out. Spared no expense. Even had my daughter chaperone." I shook my head. "I've
worked hard to get you into my bed. You've had me jumping through hoops," I
teased. "Vixen."

Lowering my head, I nuzzled her neck. "In fact, I think I deserve to take you back

to bed. I've worked so hard wearing you down, I deserve to keep you in my
bed…forever."

"Edward," she breathed.

I covered her mouth with mine, effectively putting an end to her humorous

conversation. She was smart, witty and adorable, but right now I needed to kiss her.
And, be as close as I could get to her. I gathered her up against my chest, my hands
running down her back and onto her bare legs. Gently, I ran them up under my shirt
and groaned when my hands encountered her warm, bare flesh. "Where are your
panties, Bella?"

"I have no idea."

Grinning, I lifted her up, wrapping her legs around my waist. I continued kissing

her, revelling in the taste of her, as my hands caressed her warm skin. "Shower," I
mumbled into her mouth. "Want you."

"Food. Eat first."

"Later. Want you. Now."

Her hands grabbed my waistband, pulling downwards, my erection now free and

aching. "Take me, then. Here."

Groaning, I reached behind me and pulled out a chair. I sat down, lifting her as I

- 206 -

did and positioning myself at her entrance. I arched up, burying myself in her
warmth.

My head fell back at the rush of pleasure I was experiencing felt being wrapped

up inside her. When she leaned forward, her tongue flicking and swirling over my
nipples I moaned, hissing lowly as her teeth nipped. Holding her hips, I began
moving, my body surging and arching into her heat. Grasping the hem of my shirt
she was wearing, I tore it open, needing to see her, the buttons flying off in all
directions, hitting the floor and cupboards. Leaning forward, I suckled and nipped at
her breasts as my hands stayed on her hips guiding her, setting a steady rhythm.
Bella's hands clung to my shoulders, her fingers digging in as she undulated over
me, her whimpers and gasps becoming louder and more animated.

"There, Edward… Yes, right there… Please…. Oh God… more… yes."

Unable to hold back, I released her hips as my thrusts became erratic and

grabbing her face, crashed my mouth to hers, swallowing her screams as she
shattered around me. My orgasm hit me like a lightning bolt, hot brilliant fire
burning through me as I slammed her down tightly against me and spilled into her.

Exhausted, I leaned back in the chair taking her with me. Her head rested against

my chest and I nuzzled her hair, holding her securely against me. For a few
moments there was no sound other than my gasping breaths and Bella's soft
shuddering sighs.

She pulled back and looked at me shyly. Grinning at how adorable she was, I

leaned forward and kissed her gently. "Wow."

She grinned back, her eyes dancing. "Good thing I didn't make you wait 'til date

eight, Edward."

I chucked. "I may have exploded."

"I, um, think you just did," she snickered. "Maybe we need that shower now."

Laughing, I waggled my eyebrows at her. "Shower, yes. Then food." I held her

chin in my hand, my thumb stroking her cheek tenderly, and smiled at her in
longing. "Then, I'm taking you back to my bed, Bella."

Bella giggled. "Insatiable."

I pulled her against my chest, kissing her head.

- 207 -

"For you, Queen B, yes."

My hand reached over to stroke Bella's hair. We were lying cuddled in bed, having

finally eaten the sandwiches she had made earlier for us, after we made love again
in the shower, her pressed up against the tile wall as I took her with the steam
swirling around us. I smiled gently at her.

"Emma wants you to live with us."

Bella's hand mirrored mine as she tenderly stoked my head. I leaned into her

loving touch, enjoying a sense of contentment I had never experienced before.

"I gathered that from her little announcement yesterday."

I drew in a deep breath. "Her daddy wants that, too."

Bella's hand stilled. "Edward."

I reached down and pulled her closer. "I know it's fast, Bella. But it's right. We've

been right from the start. As soon as you came into our lives we stopped being
alone. You made us whole. We fit, Bella. Together we become a family. Tell me you
feel that, too."

She nodded. "I do."

"Emma loves you. She feels safe and protected with you. I know you love her."

Her voice was trembling. "And you?"

"Oh, Bella." I lifted her hand and gently kissed the palm. "You make me feel safe

and protected, too. I finally know what it means to love someone. To want to devote
my life and everything I do to them. You bring out feelings in me I had forgotten
even existed. I didn't know I could feel happiness like this."

Releasing her hand, I scrubbed my face. "When I was with Tanya, I...existed. I

never questioned how things were, because they just were. My life was what it was
because of my decisions. The only time I was ever happy was when I was with
Emma. But even then there was always something missing." I smiled down at her.
"But when I'm with you, I'm complete. I'm alive. And I want you with me all the time.
I want you with us all the time."

- 208 -

Bella was silent.

"Too much, too soon?" I asked quietly.

She shook her head. "I want it, too, Edward. I just need a little time. Can you give

me that? I need to sort it all out in my head."

"So it's not a no?"

She shook her head. "It's a soon, Edward. Can you live with that, for now?"

My heart tightened at the thought of her being here, with us, and I gathered her

closer. "Yes, I can live with that."

She sighed. "Thank you."

Yawning, she snuggled deeper into my chest. "I want to be with you all the time as

well," she whispered. "Both you and Emma have become my life."

My arms tightened around her. "We'll be here waiting when you're ready." I

nuzzled her hair.

"I won't make you wait too long, Edward."

"I love you, Bella."

"So much, Edward. So much."

I held her closely against me until she fell asleep. I pulled back and smiled down

at her peaceful face. She had brought so much to me, and to Emma. Her gentle,
loving nature had given me my daughter back. Her warmth had opened my heart
and showed me how to love again. I wanted more than just her living with us. I
wanted to marry her. I wanted us to be a family and for everyone to know we were a
family, and that she was mine. My wife. Emma's mother. But, I would give her the
time she needed and then move on to the next step.

But, of one thing I was certain.

She belonged here.

With me.

- 209 -

With us.

Sigh. I kinda love him. So many thanks to Liz for prereading and

Mid-Night for her beta work. They are both so supportive and I appreciate
them so much.

And thank you for being part of this journey. You are the reason I write.

See you mid-week! ~EE

- 210 -

Chapter 33

Sorry for the delay my friends. Been rather ill with bronchitis and not able

to do much on the computer. Thanks to Liz and MidNight.

"Okay, Jake. What's this all about?"

He grinned at me across the table. Leah was beside him, smiling, as she looked

over at Bella and me. Bella was tightly nestled into my side, and Emma was busy
coloring on the floor; in between loving up both her kittens, her giggles filling the
air as she played with them and making all of us smile. She had entertained Jake and
Leah during dinner with her stories she told in her lisping little voice and more than
once made Jake laugh at her antics. Both Bella and I basked in her joyful happiness
which seemed to fill the entire house. My heart soared with every word, every
giggle.

Since we had woken up this morning, Bella and I had barely left each other's side.

We were constantly touching. When we picked Emma up at my parents, my mother
regarded us with a small smile, but refrained from saying anything, although I was
pretty sure she knew I had finally declared myself to Bella. We had spent the
afternoon as a family and on impulse had invited Jake and Leah for dinner. Jake had
jumped at the chance to fill me in on his news, not to mention the fact I had told him
Bella was cooking.

"Dr. Newton and I were talking the other day. You know him, right?"

I nodded. "I've met him a few times and worked with a couple of his patients. He's

a good doctor-well respected from everything I've heard. He has a private practice
in town, right?"

Jake nodded. "He does. His daughter, Lauren, just found out she is pregnant with

twins."

I wasn't sure where he was leading with this. "Ah."

"He's leaving his practice, Edward. Putting it up for sale. He and his wife are

moving to be close to his daughter."

Now he had my attention. "Really? I hadn't heard that."

- 211 -

"He hasn't told many people. I asked him to give me a few days before he made it

public." He drew in a deep breath. "I want to buy the practice, Edward. And I want
you to come in with me as a partner."

I sat back, stunned, and looked over at Bella, who was watching me closely. "It's a

highly successful practice, Edward. Dr. Newton is well thought of here," she stated
quietly.

"How big is it?"

Jake reached into his ever present backpack and held up a file. "I have all the

details here. It's solid, Edward. With plenty of room to grow. We'd be able to
concentrate on different areas of care. Maybe bring a couple of others onboard and
develop a well-rounded practice." He pushed the file towards me. "He even owns the
building where the practice is located. I went to see it. It's totally under-utilized. I
think we could really do something with it."

Leah spoke up. "It's got a lot of potential." Her gaze drifted to Bella. "Lots of

potential."

I looked at Jake. "Why me?"

He grinned. "We get along well, Edward. I trust you. We both want our own

practice. Starting up our own from scratch is still months, maybe years down the
road. This is a great starting point. Well established, yet we could really put our own
mark on it. The building is highly underused. Even he admits that, but his main
focus has been his practice. " He paused. "You're a great doctor, Edward. And a
good man. We have the same goals. I think we could assemble a great team and
really make this special. I think we'd make a good team."

I nodded. "I think so as well, Jake."

"Edward."

I looked up at Bella from the papers I had scattered on the table.

"Emma is asleep. I'm going to head home," she smiled as she leaned down and

kissed my cheek. "You have a lot of thinking to do here."

"No, Bella. Stay. I'm sorry, I'll put this away." I stood up and began gathering up

- 212 -

the papers.

"No, Edward, you need to concentrate on this. It's okay. I'll see you in the

morning."

Groaning, I pulled her down onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her. My

mind was spinning with everything Jake and I had discussed. The file he had given
me had a lot of information to go over and yet I was already itching to start writing
down ideas and questions. Dr. Newton had agreed to meet with us on Friday and we
had a lot to do in the meantime.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked quietly.

I drew in a deep breath and looked up at her. "This was sort of the last thing I had

expected, you know? I didn't think an opportunity like this would happen so quickly."

She nodded, gently running her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes at the

sheer pleasure her simple actions brought me. Her touch always conveyed so much
feeling.

"What do you think, Bella?"

She frowned. "I think you need to go over this, talk with your parents, meet with

Dr. Newton and then make a huge decision, Edward."

I looked down at the file, my fingers nervously bending one corner over and over

again. "Would it...ah… bother you?"

"Bother me? I don't understand Edward."

I looked up at her. She gazed back at me curiously, a slight frown on her face.

"Would you rather I did something more, um, high profile?"

"I think you'd better explain that to me, right now, Edward."

Unable to meet her eyes, I looked back at the file. "Tanya always told me my goal

of private practice was pointless," I began. Hearing Bella gasp I looked up.

"Pointless?"

I nodded but before I could lower my eyes, she grasped my chin, refusing to let

- 213 -

me look away.

"Tell me."

"She wanted me to specialize in something other than being a GP. She wanted to

be married to a surgeon. Or a cardiologist. Even a hopsital administator. Someone
who would command respect. Go places within a big hospital. Be a big name, with a
big title." I snorted. "And the big salary that came with it. She always told me I was
wasting my ability," I shrugged self-consciously. "To her private practice just made
me a run of the mill doctor, a nobody."

Bella huffed softly and shook her head. "Someone who devotes their life to helping

people could never be a nobody, Edward." She sighed sadly. "Is that what you
wanted?"

I shook my head. "No. I always wanted family medicine. I like being involved with

my patients. I like knowing them. Helping them. It… it gives me a great deal of
satisfaction. I never wanted the political garbage that went with some of the more
specialized areas."

"Is that why you never pursued it, Edward? Opening your own practice in

Toronto?"

I nodded. "It caused even more tension. I thought if I just put my plans on hold she

would see I wasn't going to change my mind. That I would never be the
administrator, with the big name, the corner office and staff. I don't think she ever
forgave me for that; for not giving her what she wanted."

She nodded in understanding. "Do you know what I want you to do?"

I shook my head. "Tell me what you want me to do, Bella."

She cupped my face tenderly. "I want you to follow your dream. I don't care if

that's staying on in the clinic or the ER, opening up your own practice or driving a
fucking school bus." My eyebrows flew up at her unexpected expletive, but I didn't
stop her talking. "I love you for what you are, not the title that comes with your job.
Not the salary you bring home. As long as you bring you home nothing else
matters." Leaning forward, she kissed me sweetly. "I love you, Edward. All of you. If
you're happy, I'm happy. All in, remember?"

I gathered her close, marvelling at her words. Awed at the fact that this wonderful

woman loved me as fiercely as I loved her. Grateful she was part of my life now.

- 214 -

She pulled back, smiling, although her eyes swam with tears. "You, Dr. Cullen,

could never be run of the mill anything. You are a brilliant, caring doctor and you
and Jake are going to have an outstanding practice. I am so proud of the man you
are. The amazing father you are to Emma." She paused. "Forget what she said,
Edward. She was the one with the problem, not you. Don't let her pettiness stop you
from going after what you want. Please."

Overwhelmed at the intensity of her declarations, I could only nod. When I spoke

my voice was gruff with emotion. "Don't leave, Bella, please. Help me with all this."
My breath caught. "I need you."

Her arms tightened around me and we sat together silently for a moment, her

fingers softly stroking through my hair. I sighed in quiet contentment, feeling her
love and support soak into me. "Stay, please," I whispered.

"Okay, Edward. I'll make some coffee and stay for a while." She got up and started

filling up the coffee machine. She looked over at me, catching my smirk and shook
her head, her voice stern. "But I'm not spending the night. I don't want Emma
confused in the morning."

I knew she was right. "I have an alarm clock," I muttered quietly, thinking she

wouldn't hear me.

She chuckled as she measured coffee into the basket. "One track mind, Edward."

She was right. But I didn't want her to go. I wanted her to work with me on this

and then feel her pressed up against me in my bed and wake up to her warmth in
the morning. Looking up, I prepared the big guns.

"Bella."

She looked up.

"I love you, my girl. So much." I widened my eyes and smiled longingly at her.

She blushed as she looked at me and then sighed softly.

"Four o'clock, Edward. I'm out of here at 4am."

I nodded solemnly and looked back down at the file on the table.

Internally, I high-fived myself.

- 215 -

Monday afternoon, we met with Victoria. She was warm and friendly and Emma

seemed to like her. She did an assessment on Emma and agreed with Bella that she
needed some therapy to help with the stuttering and rebuilding her vocal strength,
but was certain it was something we could accomplish in a timely manner. We
agreed to two sessions a week, one with her coming to the daycare and one with us
going to her office once per week. She also had some exercises Bella and I could use
to work with Emma at home. She smiled as she watched Emma coloring away beside
me. "She is a delightful child, Edward. I don't think she'll need me too long. She is
surprisingly resilient."

I nodded. Already her speech was clearer. Bella and I encouraged her constantly

to talk and express herself and I knew adding Victoria's expertise would only help
her even more.

Bella leaned over and stroked Emma's hair gently. "She's lucky to have him," she

murmured. "He is an amazing father."

Victoria chuckled as she looked at Bella. She winked at me. "I think you have a

fan, Edward."

I laughed as I reached over and pulled Bella into my side.

"The feeling is mutual."

Victoria smiled at us. "You make a lovely family," she said softly.

I nodded proudly.

"We do."

We both chuckled at Bella's blush.

The week passed quickly and now it was Thursday night. I sat looking over the

information once again. The numbers were solid. The building was perfect. Lots of
room to grow and expand. I could concentrate on family practice. Jake wanted to do
the same but with the added benefit of natural medicine. He was a firm believer in
the benefits of alternate forms of healing. Currently the back half of the building
was vacant. Open empty space that both Jake and I thought would make a great
daycare centre. It even opened up to a private area that could easily be fenced in
and made secure. Bella was overcome when we told her, but she was very excited

- 216 -

about the possibility for the future. With Dr. Newton's patient base and the
desperate need for new family doctors we were sure we could do this. My parents
were onboard, even offering to help with the loans we would need. Jake and I had
even discussed which doctors at the hospital we would like to offer positions to
when we were able to do so. The more we worked on the idea, the more I realized I
wanted it.

I had even gone so far in planning that I had contacted my old friend Jasper

Whitlock again. We had gone through medical school together, spent weekends and
nights studying and helping each other. He had even been my best man when I
married Tanya. She, however, never liked him and although we tried to see each
other as often as possible, eventually our relationship had become reliant on emails,
and once he left Toronto, the occasional visit. I flew out alone for his wedding to
Alice, Tanya not even interested in the façade of caring about my friend who had
been an important part of my life. He was a brilliant psychiatrist, and with Jake and I
wanting a well-rounded practice, I knew he would be the perfect addition. After
discussing it with Jake and Bella, I brought up the idea to him and he was very
interested in joining our practice, should the opportunity arise, given the fact he was
unhappy with his current situation.

I sat back, looking at the lists, numbers, questions and applications that the now

thick file contained. So much depended on our meeting tomorrow with Dr. Newton.
He was adamant he would only sell to someone he approved of. His patients and
practice meant far more to him than a simple dollar value. We were meeting late
afternoon after Jake and I got off from the hospital. We were prepared to make him
an offer once he decided if we met with his approval or not. I was laying everything
on the line for this. The nest egg I had from my grandparents' inheritance would be
gone. I would owe my parents. I would owe the bank. I would owe Bella. Grimacing,
I shook my head. I still wasn't sure if I could allow her to put her money into this,
but she insisted it was her future, too. She knew we would do well and it was what
she wanted. To be a part of something I loved. To be with me. If only she knew how
deeply she was with me already. She was in my every thought. She and Emma were
the focus of my future; the reason I kept going every day. My world revolved around
them.

Suddenly, I missed her. She had class again tonight and was heading back to her

apartment after. I had to stop being selfish and asking her to stay and sneak out
early in the morning. I saw earlier today how tired she was, and even though I knew
I would miss her like crazy, I insisted she go home and sleep. The few hours she was
getting every night weren't enough. I looked at the clock and saw that it was just
after ten. She had texted me a short time ago to let me know she had gotten home. I
could still call her. I wanted to hear her voice. I needed to hear her voice. Picking up

- 217 -

my cell, I dialed her number and instantly relaxed when I heard her quiet hello.

"Hey my girl, how was class?"

"Great! I'm enjoying learning more sign language."

"Good." I paused. "I miss you," I said quietly.

Bella's voice was concerned. "Edward? Are you okay, sweetheart?"

I smiled at her endearment. "Yeah, nervous about tomorrow," I admitted. "What if

he decides we aren't what he wants for his practice, Bella? Or hates the ideas we
have for the building? That we're too young or too forward thinking or just too
inept?"

Bella laughed softly. "I highly doubt he will think any of those, Edward. He is a

smart man. If he didn't already think you were right I doubt he would even be
meeting with you. He gave you all the information you needed, Edward. He must
have already seen something he liked. He just wants to know that what he has built
up is going to continue. You're going to dazzle him tomorrow."

I sighed heavily. She always made sense. And I wanted her to be right.

"Thanks, QB, I needed to hear that."

"You should go to bed and get a good night's sleep. You need to be sharp

tomorrow."

"I don't want to go to bed."

"Why ever not?" Bella's voice was surprised.

"You won't be there, waiting for me," I murmured into the phone. "I'll miss having

you tucked into me."

"Edward…" her voice was husky.

"I sleep so well with you there, baby."

She sighed quietly. "Did you need me to come over?"

I grinned. "You'd do that?"

- 218 -

"I'd do anything for you."

"Live with me, then. Share my life. Sleep with me every night. Let me wake up

with you every morning," I begged.

Her breath caught and I knew she was biting her lip.

"We'll talk about it this weekend, Edward. Concentrate on tomorrow; it's the most

important thing right now. Please?"

"Okay." I paused. "Go to bed, Bella. I'll see you in the morning."

"I'll come over if you want, Edward."

I groaned. "I do want, Bella. But you need your sleep. It's late and I haven't let you

have much sleep all week. I'll go to bed as well. Promise."

Her voice was tender. "Call me if you can't sleep. I'm so proud of you. I love you.

And remember, no matter what, all in."

As usual, her simple, heartfelt words warmed my heart. I smiled into the phone.

"All in. And I love you as well. So much, Bella. So much."

Ah... Now we know what Jake wanted... a practice for them together...

Your worries about Tanya will be answered soon... I will try and post again

Sunday.

- 219 -

Chapter 34

I cannot believe the number of reviews to this fic. We are about to break

6000. I am humbled and so honored you think enough to this to share your
thoughts with me. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Jake and I walked out of the hospital, both nervous and anxious for the meeting. I

stopped short and looked around. "When did this happen?" I asked looking at the
heavy grey skies swirling above us. "I hadn't heard we were getting another storm."

"Just blew in. Started just after lunch," Jake explained as he shrugged.

"Shit. Bella hates storms."

He looked at me. "Then tell her not to go outside, dude. Come on, we gotta go."

I looked at him. "No Jake, I mean she literally can't cope with them. She is

petrified. I've never seen a reaction like it before."

"What do you want to do, Edward? Cancel?" I could hear he was getting impatient.

I shook my head. "No, I'm just worried."

"So call her. But we need to go or we'll be late."

I nodded. "I'll meet you there."

Jake chuckled and fist-bumped me, his good humor returning instantly. "We are so

gonna nail this, Edward. I know it."

I climbed in my car and texted Bella.

Huge storm coming- take your paperwork and go home. Or to my mom's. I'll be

there as soon as I can.-E

Her reply arrived as I was pulling into the parking lot of Dr. Newton's practice.

For privacy, we were meeting there.

I know. Better here in my office. Emma went home with your mom. I'll be fine.

Thinking of you. You will be brilliant. Love you.~ B xx

- 220 -

I frowned as I looked up into the darkening sky. It was going to be a bad one.

Remembering her reaction to the last storm, I was really concerned. She'd be alone.

"Edward!" Jake called. "Let's go!"

I nodded and walked towards the building where he was waiting for me. I quickly

typed in a reply.

I'm holding you right now.-E

It was the best I could offer.

An hour later I sat back, feeling somewhat more relaxed. Dr. Newton was warm

and friendly. His practice and patients meant a great deal to him and he listened to
our ideas carefully, asking questions and offering suggestions. I felt things were
going well. I kept scanning the skies outside the window, grateful the storm had not
yet hit, although I could hear the low rumbles of thunder beginning to get closer and
I wondered how Bella was coping.

"Edward?"

I turned my head away from the window. "Sorry, I lost my train of thought there."

Dr. Newton regarded me. "Have something on your mind, son?"

Jake glared at me behind Dr. Newton. I shook my head and smiled as I lied

through my teeth. "No sir. Only this. I'm sorry, you were saying…?"

We continued talking when suddenly the room lit up as lightning streaked across

the sky and a huge rumble of thunder followed. It was so loud, we all jumped as the
windows around us rattled. Almost instantly the wind picked up, the trees outside
bending in the force, and the skies around us darkening like night had fallen.

"Gonna be a bad one," Dr. Newton murmured, stroking his upper lip and frowning,

his gaze drifting to the door.

I nodded; my thoughts immediately on Bella. She would be terrified by now.

Another bolt of lightning hit, followed by the thunder and then the skies opened up,
and rain began falling at an alarming rate. My stomach clenched as I thought of
Bella alone in her office. Scared. Riding it out alone.

"Edward!" Jake's voice was sharp. "Dr. Newton asked you a question!"

- 221 -

I pulled my gaze away from the window. I needed to concentrate on this meeting.

This was my future. Our future.

Again I had to ask Dr. Newton to repeat his question and I answered it, although

even I could hear the distinct lack of enthusiasm in my voice.

Dr. Newton cocked his head to the side. "I somehow get the feeling you aren't

with us anymore, Edward, that there is something more important on your mind
than buying my practice."

The room was silent. Outside, the wind beat the rain mercilessly against the

windows. The thunder and lightning were constant, happening so fast it was as if
there was someone flicking a light switch off and on in rapid succession. When the
thunder broke you felt its effects tingling down your spine. It was violent and
relentless.

In my head, another storm was happening. Tanya-telling me how I always put

everything else first; my job, my daughter. Her accusations that she came a distinct
second. My mother-gently reminding me to set my priorities straight for Emma.
Family first, job second. And Bella. The miracle she had brought to my daughter.
What she meant to me. The memory of how hard she shook when I held her in my
arms during the last storm and how frightened I knew she must be at this moment.
How my arms had offered her a degree of safety and shelter. The thought of how she
constantly had to ride things out alone kept repeating itself in my mind. Always
alone. I shook my head. I couldn't do this. I didn't want her to be second. Ever.

Standing up, I extended my hand to Dr. Newton, who took it with a puzzled look

on his face. Beside him Jake was shaking his head in frustration, his eyes pleading
with me to sit down.

"Dr. Newton, I need to beg your patience and understanding. I have to go. I am

needed somewhere, desperately."

"Somewhere more important than this meeting?" he asked calmly.

I nodded and smiled apologetically. "Buying your practice means a great deal to

me, sir. Jake and I would devote everything we have to keeping it as true to your
vision as possible. Your patients would receive the very best care we could give
them and I believe your practice would continue to flourish. We would make you
proud. But this is…urgen,t for me. Please forgive my abrupt departure, but right
now, I have to go."

- 222 -

Looking over at Jake, I shrugged. "Sorry, Jake. I have to do this. If you need to

move forward without me, I understand."

And turning, I ran out of the room and headed for the one place I needed to be.

The daycare.

I burst through the door of the daycare into the dark front room. I noticed that

power had gone off in many areas of town during the drive over. I had used the
advantage of my medical license plate and drove through every red light I could to
get here, thanking God that Bella had given me a master key to the door.

Bella's office door was shut and I knew she wouldn't have heard me come in over

the noise of the thunder. I was soaked and kicked off my shoes before making my
way over to her door and opening it up, calling her name. Because there were no
windows, her office was pitch black and it took me a moment to make out her
huddled form on one of the beanbag chairs. I went over and scooped up her shaking,
sobbing form, pulling her tightly against my chest as I lowered myself down. She
was a mass of trembling limbs and deep shuddering sobs, her reaction even worse
than I was afraid of.

"Shh, Bella. I've got you, baby. I'm here," I soothed, rocking her gently. Her arms

tightened around my neck and I pulled her closer, running my hand up and down
her back in comforting motions. "You're safe, Bella. You're fine."

"Edward…so scared," she whispered, her voice quaking.

"I know, my girl. I know. I have you."

Even in this windowless dark room, you could feel the effects of the storm. The

walls were shaking with the deep rumbles of thunder from outside and you could
hear the fierceness of the rain hitting the roof. The area outside her door continued
to light up with the electricity from the sky. Looking down at Bella, I wished I could
make her see the hidden beauty of the storm instead of feeling the terror it invoked
in her. I pulled her closer, whispering soft words of comfort to her.

I nuzzled her head, wondering what had happened after I left Dr. Newton's

boardroom. No doubt I had just fucked up our plans, but holding Bella and feeling
her terror abate a little because of my presence, I knew I had done the right thing. I
just hoped she would see it that way afterwards.

- 223 -

Slowly, I felt her relax to the point I was able to lift her head up from my chest.

Her shaking had eased off slightly but she was still trembling and frightened. "Do
you have a flashlight here?"

She nodded. "Beside you."

Feeling around on the floor I found it and turned it on. Her face was pale and

blotchy from crying, her eyes wide with fear. Reaching above me, I felt along the
edge of the desk until I found the Kleenex, grabbed a bunch and gently wiped her
cheeks. Smiling at her, I held the Kleenex to her nose. "Blow," I instructed her, just
like I would Emma. I had to grin as she batted my hand away and did it herself.

"What can I do, Bella? Tell me how to help you."

"Distract me," she pleaded. "Make me forget what is happening out there."

Without hesitation, I pulled her back against me and crashed my lips to hers. She

gasped and I plunged my tongue into her mouth, tasting her tears, mixed in with the
natural sweetness of her. Groaning, I explored her mouth, lost in the taste, the feel
of her, under my lips. I couldn't get close enough and I refused to break away from
her. Slowly, I felt her fear ebbing away as she lost herself with me, the trembling
replaced by desire as pleasured shivers began running through her. Gently, I shifted
so she was under me on the beanbag, easing up just long enough to rid myself of my
wet shirt, and help her discard hers before going back to her mouth, pulling her
warm body against my damp chest.

"Edward," she breathed against my lips.

"I've got you, Bella. Let me help you…" I whispered as I kissed her warm neck. "I'll

make you forget."

My hands caressed and stroked her slowly as my lips worshipped her skin and

lips, building her desire and need for me. Her small moans and shivers were now
concentrated on us, and nothing else. My need for her was raging, and when I felt
her tug on the waistband of my pants I pulled back and made quick work of
discarding them, as well as hers. Looking down at her, I could see her chest rising
and falling quickly and I was thrilled to see nothing but desire and want in her eyes
in the dim glow from the flashlight. Outside, the storm was fading, but inside her
office, ours was just building. I lowered myself down on her, bracing on my elbows
as I skimmed my lips over her arched throat. "We're going to see how comfortable
these beanbags really are now, Bella," I growled softly as I slipped inside her slick
heat.

- 224 -

She gasped and arched up to meet me and I groaned deeply, savoring the

sensation of being held within her warmth. I began moving slowly, wanting to bring
her as much pleasure as I could and she met each thrust, matching my rhythm
perfectly. Her hands dug into my back, her legs wrapped around my hips as she
moved under me, whimpering and moaning my name.

"More, Edward," she breathed into my ear. "Give me more. Make me yours."

"You are mine, Bella. All mine," I growled as I moved faster, feeling the beginnings

of my release start to build deep within my body. I moved over her, holding her
tightly as I felt the sensations begin to spiral and I surged deeper, needing, wanting
more. She began clutching frantically to my shoulders as her body tightened around
me and she gasped out my name, crying out in ecstasy as she fell apart. I burrowed
my head at the base of her neck, moaning deeply as my orgasm shot through me,
tearing through my veins like boiling hot liquid, racing through me like a flame.
Panting, I dropped soft kisses over her shoulders and neck, before capturing her lips
again, kissing her deeply. Her arms tightened their hold, drawing me down closer
and I allowed my weight to settle on her, knowing how much comfort she felt when I
was covering her. We lay silently for a few moments, our breathing slowly returning
to normal.

Regretfully, I pulled away and grabbed my damp shirt to help clean us up a little,

before pulling her into my arms and rolling us over so she was lying against my
chest, my hands softly stroking the damp skin on her back. We were quiet, listening
to the rain that still fell gently and the sounds of the thunder as it rolled in the
distance. I knew I had to tell Bella what I did, and I knew she wasn't going to be
happy, but right now all that mattered was this woman I was holding. I made her
feel safe. I needed her to know I always would.

"Better now?" I asked quietly.

She nodded and smiled up shakily at me.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" I kissed her forehead gently as I smoothed away some damp hair.

"I didn't like sleeping alone last night."

I felt my pulse quicken. "Me either."

"I don't want to do that anymore."

- 225 -

I drew in a deep breath. "Okay."

"I want to be with you and Emma."

My arms tightened around her.

"We want that, too. More than anything, Bella."

"Okay then."

"You'll move in with us?"

"Yes."

And just like that, nothing else mattered.

Could he be any sweeter or sexier ? My kind of distraction. Just saying.

I think he knows exactly what he needs to be for his Bella. And she said

yes. YAY!

- 226 -

Chapter 35

You all like Edward's distraction method... he is highly inventive. Many

thanks for your thoughts. I love hearing them.Liz and MidNight- I have no
words to express how much you help make this better.

We were standing in the kitchen of the daycare. My clothes were still wet so Bella

hung them to dry and I was wearing some more scrubs she had on hand. I managed
to get through to my mother who told me to stay put for the time being. Emma was
fine and the streets were bad. I hadn't told her how I blew the meeting with Dr.
Newton. I would explain that in person. But, I had just told Bella what happened.

Bella stared at me in horror, her face still pale from her earlier terror. "Edward,

no. You did what?"

"You were alone, Bella. The storm was horrendous. I couldn't leave you to get

through it alone. I knew you would be terrified."

"But your future…you wanted this, Edward. It was important to you! I would have

made it through alone! You didn't have to do that! Oh, God…Edward…" her panic
filled voice trailed off.

I cupped her face. "You are important to me. And you don't have to be alone

anymore. You will never be second with me. You told me you didn't care if I stayed
in the ER or the clinic…did you mean that?"

She nodded silently, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"You'll stay with me?" I asked anxiously.

Her voice was aghast. "Of course I will."

I relaxed, letting my thumbs trace small circles on her cheeks.

"Then my future is fine as long as I have you and Emma. My dream will just wait a

while."

"But…"

I shook my head. "No buts. You and Emma are my life. I'll get a practice. I'll start

- 227 -

my own. It'll just take me a little longer. As long as you're with me, that's all that
matters."

"I'm with you, Edward, all in, " she insisted quietly, her tears falling down her

cheeks. "I'm sorry you had to do that for me."

I pulled her into my arms. "I'm not sorry. I'd do it again in an instant. You are far

more important, Bella. I'll put you first, always. Know that, please."

She sighed shakily. "Jake is not going to be happy with you."

I shrugged sadly. "I know. I hope Dr. Newton will still sell him the practice. I'm

sure he can find someone else to partner with." I shook my head. "I'm sure I didn't
impress him with my sudden departure."

"Why didn't you just explain?"

"I should have. I should have just told him. But, I was just… so concentrated on

getting to you. I wasn't really thinking clearly I guess."

Bella nodded and handed me a cup of coffee from her thermal jug. It was only

lukewarm but with no power it was the best we had at the moment. Quietly, we sat
at the table, both lost in our own thoughts. The banging on the front door startled us
both and I stood up. "Stay here."

I approached the door warily wondering who would be banging so loudly. As I got

close, I heard Jake's voice. "Open up, Cullen! I know you're in there! The fucking
swipe doesn't work!"

I sighed. Time to deal with Jake's wrath.

I pushed the door open and stepped back. Jake strode in, Leah behind him. It was

still raining, but the worst had passed. Leah hurried over to Bella, while Jake stood
silently in front of me. In the dim light I couldn't make out his expression, but I was
hoping he wasn't about to sucker punch me.

"I had to, Jake," I stated quietly. "I know you're mad at me and I realize I probably

cost myself my dream, but I hope I didn't cost you yours. I'll call Dr. Newton and
explain if it will help."

- 228 -

Still he was quiet. "I'm sorry, Jake. Truly." Tentatively, I put my hand out, hoping

he would shake it. Instead, he stepped forward and engulfed me in a huge bear hug.

"You lucky motherfucker!" he crowed.

I gaped at him. "What?"

"I told Dr. Newton you took off because your girl was so petrified of storms and

needed you, and you were so worried about her being alone, you couldn't
concentrate."

"He was okay with that?"

"Okay with it? He left right away, because his wife has the same reaction to

storms. He'd been trying to figure out a way of asking us to regroup next week."

I stared at him stunned.

"We're meeting for brunch with him and his wife on Sunday, Edward. And he

wants Bella and Leah to join us. We'll sit down on Monday and finish our meeting."
He paused, grinning sarcastically. "I checked the weather channel. We should be
good."

I shook my head, sighing in relief. "Are you serious, Jake?"

He nodded. "Your exit is what made him decide we were the right ones, Edward.

He said anyone who was that devoted to his family, was the person he wanted to
take over his practice." He grinned. "It's gonna be ours, Edward! I can feel it, dude!"

I looked over to where Bella was sitting with Leah, smiling as tears ran down her

face. Grinning, I opened my arms and welcomed her as she hurried across the room,
spinning her around in glee. "I got another chance, baby," I whispered into her ear.

"You deserve it, Edward. I'm so proud of you!"

I pulled back. "You'll always come first, Bella," I vowed quietly, cupping her cheek

with my hand.

She smiled, covering my hand with hers. "I love you," she mouthed quietly.

I smiled back. "All in, Bella. All in."

- 229 -

Brunch was relaxed and pleasant. I pulled Dr. Newton aside and apologized for my

abrupt departure, but he waved my words aside. "Always put family first, Edward.
They are what waits for you at the end of a long day and after your career is over;
they are what you return to. And, contrary to popular belief, you can provide
excellent care to your patients and still have a personal life. I think you and Dr.
Black will find that balance easily." Turning his head at the sound of Jake's loud
laughter, he smirked. "Well, I think you will. Your friend is still learning."

I chuckled at his assessment. "You are both excellent doctors, Edward. My

practice will be in good hands." He turned serious for a moment. "Believe it or not,
Jacob reminds me of myself at his age. It took meeting my wife to make me figure
out my priorities. I think maybe he is finding his way to that discovery himself."

I nodded. The change in him since meeting Leah had been dramatic. His own

wants no longer came first, and his outlook had broadened to those around him
instead of simply Jake.

Dr. Newton was watching me with a smile. "I think having a friend with a good

head on his shoulders helps as well, Edward." He smiled kindly. "Your Bella is a
good match for you. She helps ground you to what is truly important in this world,
yes?"

I returned his smile. "She and Emma are the most important things, sir."

He clapped my shoulder, laughing. "Good answer, Edward. Now let's go join our

group. I want to hear more of your brilliant ideas."

Our meeting Monday was simple and efficient. We presented an offer, and to our

delight, he accepted without countering. Everything was now in the hands of the
lawyers and once it was done, Jake and I would put in our notices at the hospital and
take over the practice. Rumors were rampant at the hospital once it was known Dr.
Newton was retiring and selling, but both Jake and I kept our mouths shut. We
weren't ready to share the news until everything was signed, sealed and delivered.

Tuesday night we sat and talked to Emma and told her Bella was coming to live

with us. Her excitement knew no bounds as she squealed and clapped her hands,
twirling repeatedly and jumping madly around the room as she laughed, her arms
held high over her head as she pirouetted. I looked at Bella in amazement. When
had that started? I'd never seen the pirouetting or the jumping before. She chuckled
and explained they had a local dance teacher come in and that Emma had been an

- 230 -

enthusiastic student that morning. "I think it's time to consider of dance lessons for
her, Edward."

I blanched. Dance lessons? As in frilly little tutus and… pointy little pink shoes?

Bella laughed and I realized I had spoken out loud again. She shook her head. "I

was thinking maybe that was something Emma and I could do together."

I nodded gratefully. She grinned. "You can come and be the proud daddy at the

recitals. But, we have a martial arts master coming in next week, Edward. If she
likes that as well, that can be your thing."

I groaned at the thought of my Babygirl in martial arts. I wasn't sure I could

handle that whatsoever.

"Couldn't you bring in like a knitting specialist?" That seemed so much safer.

Bella laughed at my idea.

Emma finally stopped her mad twirling and came to a stop in front of Bella, her

hands clasped in front of her rapidly moving chest. She stared at Bella anxiously.

"I still haf daycaw wif you?"

Bella nodded. "You can come with me most days, Emma. We can go together.

Other days your daddy will bring you."

"You be my teacha still?"

Smiling, Bella nodded. "Of course, my girl. Nothing changes."

"But…you be hewe to tuck me in?"

"Yes."

"I call you Miss Bewwa at daycaw?"

Instantly, I knew where she was going with this and my eyes flew to Bella.

Bella seemed confused. "Yes Emma, you call me Miss Bella at daycare."

"And hewe?" Emma's voice dropped to a whisper. "What me call you at home?"

- 231 -

Bella's gaze met mine. I nodded cautiously at her not wanting to push her.

"What did you want to call me, Emma?" she asked gently.

Emma's hands kept twitching, pulling at the hem of her shirt and I longed to

reached over and stop them. To comfort her. But I knew we needed to let her
express what she was thinking, no matter how difficult it was to watch. She still had
fears when it came to asking for something.

"Me wants… to call you... Mommy," Emma's whispered plea was shaky. "Me lubs

you, Bewwa."

Bella slid off the couch and gathered Emma into her arms.

"I would love to be your mommy, my girl. Nothing would make me happier."

"You stay Bewwa? You not leave me?" Her voice was muffled against Bella's

shoulder and the sound of her fear made my throat tighten.

Bella drew back and lifted Emma's chin. "I love you and your daddy so much,

Emma. I will never leave you. Never."

Emma's face brightened and she threw her arms around Bella's neck.

I watched my girls, not bothering to wipe the tears that slowly trickled down my

cheeks. Silently, I joined them on the floor, wrapping them both into my embrace.

My family.

I glanced at my watch. I was early. Bella and Emma wouldn't be here for another

fifteen minutes or so. I sat down on the bench in front of the hospital to relax and
wait. They had gone to another speech therapy appointment and were picking me up
when it was done. I was looking forward to the evening; my parents were joining us
for our Friday night family pizza date, and then we had the whole weekend together
again. Tomorrow, we were taking Emma to the new children's movie and I was
hoping Mom would want another sleepover later. I had kind of hinted to her about
it, because I wanted another sleepover alone with Bella. She had spent the night a
lot since agreeing to move in with us, even being there when Emma woke up, but I
wanted her all to myself for a night. I could hardly wait until she was with us all the
time. She made everything right. She made our house a home. And us a family.

- 232 -

My pleasant thoughts came to a crashing halt when I heard a voice I had never

wanted to hear again, say my name.

"Edward."

My eyes flew open and I stood up in shock.

"Tanya. What the hell are you doing here? How did you find me?"

She stood looking at me impassively. "You've been avoiding my calls. I figured you

had probably come back here to be close to your parents. It wasn't exactly difficult
to find you, Edward."

I shook my head. "I have nothing to say to you. If this is about the divorce, talk to

my lawyer. You got everything you asked for. Just sign the papers and leave me
alone."

"It's not. It's about Emma."

My hands clenched in anger. "You don't have any say about Emma. Your

selfishness almost destroyed her," I snarled at her. "Leave, Tanya. Now."

She shook her head, thrusting a small package towards me. "I'm not asking to see

her, Edward. I have no interest in doing so. I just need to make sure she gets this."

Even now her words rankled. "We don't want anything of yours." Angrily, I pushed

her hand away.

"It's not mine, Edward. My mother passed away and she made me promise that I

would make sure Emma got this parcel. I'm doing this for her."

I stared at her. "When?"

"A few weeks ago."

"I didn't know, I'm sorry," I said automatically. I had only ever met Tanya's mother

once, when she came to see Emma as a baby. She lived in Europe and her health
had never been very good. She had always remembered Emma's birthdays and
Christmases and when Tanya left me she had written me saying she was sorry,
asking that she be allowed to still have contact with Emma. I had let her know I
would never begrudge her a relationship with her granddaughter. My problem was
with Tanya, not her.

- 233 -

"She wanted Emma to have this. It was very important to her."

"Why not just give it to my lawyer?"

"Believe me, I would have preferred that. She made me promise I would give it to

you directly for Emma. It was her last request. Please, just take it, Edward."

My hand reached out and I took the small package.

"There's a letter in there as well," Tanya laughed bitterly. "No doubt apologizing

to Emma for me being such a shitty mother."

"She isn't the one who should be apologizing."

Tanya's eyes narrowed. "I won't apologize for trying to be happy, Edward."

I gaped at her. "Do you know what you did, Tanya? Do you know it's taken all this

time to get Emma to talk again? You and your careless words destroyed her spirit. I
despaired of ever getting her back again. You needed to be happy, fine. But the way
you handled it crushed her. A child. You hurt an innocent child because of your
overwhelming selfishness," I hissed at her. "You hurt my child."

"She's mine as well, Edward," Tanya stated dryly. "A piece of paper doesn't negate

that."

"No. Your actions negated that. She ceased being yours the day you put yourself

and your pathetic needs above her. You are not her mother, Tanya. You gave birth to
her, but you were never her mother. All you ever did was make both of us feel as
though we weren't enough."

Tanya laughed snidely. "You weren't. Do you know why it was so easy to find you,

Edward? You are so predictable. Of course you would run home to your mommy and
daddy. Of course you would accept another mediocre job at a small hospital." She
shook her head. "You could have been something, someone. You should have applied
yourself more in medical school and become a surgeon. I thought I could push you
enough to make something of yourself. But you let your emotions get the best of you
and I let you take me down with you. You put being a father ahead of everything
else. Thank God, I came to my senses. But here you are. A single father, a dead-end
job and zero future ahead of you. You are so pathetic."

"Shut up. Right now."

- 234 -

We both turned at the angry voice behind us. I blanched as I realized it was Bella

and Emma standing there. How would Emma react to seeing her mother again?

"Get away from him." Bella's voice was low and filled with rage.

"Oh, isn't that sweet," Tanya's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Your little

babysitter is protecting you."

"Leave, Tanya," I growled, keeping my eyes on Emma.

"Maybe I should say hello to my daughter first," she taunted me.

What happened next was unexpected and shocking.

"Go away!" Emma shrieked at Tanya, her little foot stamping as she glared at her.

Tanya looked at her. "Don't you talk to me like that!"

Emma's voice became even louder, interrupting her. "NO, you is not my mommy.

Bewwa is my mommy now! She stay wif me and Daddy and lubs us! She takes care
ob me and she yikes my noises. You is just a bad lady and I don't yike you! Leave my
daddy aloned! Go away!" she cried, before bursting into tears.

Tanya gaped at her. Bella bent down, swinging Emma up into her arms

protectively, hushing her with words of comfort. I moved quickly to their side
wrapping my arms around both of them.

"Well isn't that nice, Edward. You've taught our daughter well."

"She is my daughter, Tanya. You walked out on her. You walked out on us." I

shook my head sadly. "You taught her this lesson. Not me."

I looked down at Emma's shaking form, my heart filled with fear. We had come so

far in the last little while. What was this going to do to her progress?

I looked up wearily. "Do what you do best, Tanya. Turn around and walk away.

Leave us alone."

She sneered at us. "I see, found yourself another person to play house with,

Edward? A nursemaid for Emma? A little friend for her? You as well, perhaps?"

"Let's go," I muttered to Bella. There was no point in continuing this. Tanya was

- 235 -

just going to get even uglier and I didn't want Emma to witness any more of her
hate.

Bella stood, still staring at Tanya, unbridled hatred in her eyes as she regarded

her, yet her hands never ceasing the comforting motions as she stroked Emma's
head. She turned slightly to me. "Take her please, Edward."

I reached over and plucked Emma from Bella's arms, cuddling her wet face under

my chin as I rubbed her back soothingly. "I've got you, Babygirl. Daddy's got you."

Bella stepped forward, her posture stiff in anger. She stood in front of me, one

hand stretched behind her keeping contact with Emma. Tanya watched her
impassively, no emotion showing on her face.

"You are a horrible, despicable human being and what you did is unforgiveable."

Bella spoke quietly, her voice almost frightening in its icy tone. "I feel sorry for you.
You will never know what you threw away." She shook her head and I saw her
shudder. "Edward and Emma are my family now and I will treasure them for the rest
of my life. Remember that when you're still looking for your happiness, which I
highly doubt you will ever find. Nothing will ever make you happy, if you're not
happy with yourself, Tanya. Happiness isn't something you find. You feel it. You give
it. And we do. Together. And our future? It's fucking brilliant." She shook her head.
"Yours… I'm not so sure of."

Tanya's face darkened in anger and she glared at Bella, but before she could

speak, Bella continued, "You're not wanted here Tanya. Do what Edward said and
leave. Now."

I tugged gently on her arm and stepping back, she pressed herself into my side

and I wrapped my arm around her trembling form, kissing the top of her head. I
could feel Tanya staring at us, but I ignored her. The only things that mattered were
my girls, my family, whom I was holding close.

She looked up at me. "Let's go home, Edward. Your daughter has a surprise

waiting for you."

Smiling gratefully, I stroked her cheek. "Our daughter, Bella."

Her tears slipped down her cheeks as she nodded. "Our daughter."

I kissed her again, then nuzzled Emma's head as I turned and steered us away

from Tanya, not bothering to look back. There was nothing to be said. I never

- 236 -

wanted to see her again.

It felt good to be the one who walked away this time.

The bitch showed up. I think Edward's girls both spoke their minds... What

will the aftermath be?

See you on the weekend...

- 237 -

Chapter 36

So you are all in agreement about what a wretched human being Tanya is.

We pick up right where the last chapter ended.

I kept Emma's head tucked securely into my chest as we quickly made our way to

the car. I didn't want her to have to look at Tanya again. Bella opened the back door
and I climbed in, holding Emma, while she got into the driver's seat. Emma began to
push away from me, crying.

"It's okay, Babygirl, I got you."

"Bewwa!"

Bella turned in her seat and laid a gentle hand on Emma's head. "I'm right here,

Emma. You sit with your daddy and I'll drive us home okay?"

"You not go away?"

Bella's heartbroken eyes met mine. "No, my girl, I'm not going away," she soothed.

Emma's hand grasped Bella's tightly, her little sobs hiccupping their way out of

her throat.

"Bella, I'll drive."

She shook her head. "No, you need to hold her, Edward. I don't think you she'll let

you put her in her car seat."

"Fuck it," I muttered and swung the door open and carried Emma around to the

front passenger side. I climbed in and belted up both of us together.

"There, Babygirl, you can hold Bella's hand now too, okay? You're safe," I assured

her as I lifted her hand and placed it in Bella's waiting one, wrapping my larger one
around them both. Emma's head turned so she could watch Bella and I felt her relax
slightly.

Bella pulled out, heading for home, Emma's eyes watching her the whole time, the

occasional shudder racking her little body. I kept her pressed against me, trying to

- 238 -

offer her as much security as I could with my embrace.

"You better hope we don't get stopped."

I shrugged. "I'd get a ticket even in the back, Bella. Emma is more important. She

needs to touch you. She needs us both right now."

As Bella drove, I ran my hand up and down Emma's back and hummed into her

ear, in between whispering words of comfort. Slowly, I could feel her sobs easing
off, but she remained quiet otherwise. Inside, my gut was churning. Fucking Tanya.
The rage I felt towards her was astonishing in its intensity, and I wondered what the
aftermath of her visit would be.

"Edward."

I looked up at Bella.

"You're squeezing too hard."

I loosened my grip on her hand. "Sorry."

"It's okay, sweetheart. I understand. We're almost home."

I smiled grimly and nodded. When we pulled into the driveway, Bella lifted our

hands and kissed them both. "Stay there."

Both Emma and I watched her come around and open the door. She opened her

arms and Emma accepted her embrace easily, her little arms wrapped around
Bella's neck tightly. Silently, I followed them to the door and unlocked it, letting
them go past me into the house. We walked into the kitchen where I could see fresh
cookies cooling on the counter. Bella's head tilted towards the cookies letting me
know I should comment on them. We needed to distract Emma.

"Did you make those cookies for me, Emma?" I asked quietly.

She nodded and pulled away from Bella, leaning down to pick one up and handed

it to me, her face sad.

"Victoria was sick and couldn't make the appointment so Emma and I came home

and made you cookies as a surprise, Daddy," Bella explained quietly.

Emma just nodded.

- 239 -

I looked at Bella beseechingly. Was this the start of the silence again?

Bella picked up another cookie and handed it to Emma, then picked one up for

herself and walked into the living room.

I sat down beside her and Emma on the couch. Bella took a bite of the cookie and

smiled. "Wow, Emma! You did such a good job! These are great!"

She looked at me and I followed suit, taking a bite and smiling. "Good cookies,

Babygirl! Did you have fun making them with Bella?"

Emma nodded again and I felt my heart constrict a little more.

Leaning forward, I spoke to her gently, "Babygirl, do you want to talk to us about

what just happened? We want you to talk to us and it's okay, we'll listen. We need to
hear your voice. Can you do that?"

Emma looked at me, frowning. She took a bite of her cookie and chewed

thoughtfully.

"Me not yike her."

Bella met my eyes, nodding.

Encourage her.

"That's okay, Emma. You don't have to."

"I no want her hewe, Daddy."

"You never have to see her again, Babygirl. I promise."

"She not hab to be my mommy adain, Daddy? Wight?"

My heart clenched at the plea in her voice. "No."

Emma sighed and looked at Bella. "I was bad? I saided mean fings to her. Daddy

always say to be nice. But she was mean to my daddy."

"You're not in trouble, Babygirl," I assured her, as Bella shook her head no. "You

were mad and it's okay to use your words to express yourself. You're not bad."
Leaning over, I kissed her head. "Thank you for protecting Daddy."

- 240 -

Bella spoke up. "But you should always be polite to grownups, okay?"

"But I not in twouble?"

I shook my head. "No. This was a special circumstance."

Emma looked at me. "I not know what dat is, Daddy," she said, her forehead

wrinkling in confusion.

Bella chuckled. "It means it's okay it happened just one time."

Emma glanced anxiously at both of us. "You still lub me? And you stay wif me?"

Both Bella and I answered in unison, "Yes."

Emma sighed and leaned back into Bella's chest, taking another bite of cookie.

"Otay."

We sat quietly for a while, my hand stroking Emma's little one, while Bella

cuddled her. I was beyond grateful Emma hadn't pulled away from us back into the
dark place she had lived in for so long.

"Why don't you call your parents and see if maybe they want to bring the pizza

here, Edward?" Bella suggested quietly.

I nodded, thinking it might be a good idea to stay home tonight.

Emma sat up. "No! If we not go, I not get to pick tweet from da tweasha chest!"

I smiled with relief. She was going to be okay.

"Okay, Emma. We'll meet Grams and Gramps."

"Can I go play wif da kitties now, Daddy?"

I nodded and she slid off Bella's lap, then hesitated. "Bewwa?"

"Yes, Emma?"

"You live here soon?"

- 241 -

Bella nodded, her hand stroking Emma's head. "Very soon, Emma. I'm just sorting

things out."

Emma leaned forward. "I wants somefin…" she trailed off.

"Tell me," Bella prompted gently.

"I wants to calls you Mommy now. I no want to wait no more. Can I?"

I heard Bella's soft gasp. She nodded and smiled brightly. "Yes."

Emma flung her arms around Bella and held her tightly. Bella looked at me with

tears in her eyes as I smiled at the two of them, my throat tight with emotion.

Emma pulled back, happiness evident on her face. "Me is gonna hab pepperonis

on my pizza- just like Mommy!" she crowed before running out of the room in search
of her beloved kittens.

Bella looked at me, smiling despite the tears. "She is going to be fine, Edward."

"Because she has you."

"Because she has us."

I grinned. I like the sound of that. Leaning over, I pulled Bella onto my lap,

holding her closely. I needed to feel her warmth. Her arms wound around my neck,
her hands stroking my hair slowly and I sighed in relief.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged as I took in a deep breath. "I will be." I drew back and ran my fingers

down her soft cheek. "Are you okay, QB?"

"I'm fine." She was quiet for a moment, before raising her eyes to look at me. "I

wanted to hit her, Edward. If Emma hadn't been there, I think I might have. What
does that say about me?"

I cupped her face. "It says you love us. It doesn't make you a bad person, Bella.

- 242 -

She always seemed to cause the worst reactions in people. You were just protecting
us." I pulled her forward, kissing her warmly. "I love you for that."

She drew in a quiet breath. "What did she want?"

I reached in my pocket and showed her the small package, as I told her what

Tanya had said about her mother. "I don't know what to do with this."

"Put it away. Give it some time, Edward. You can look at it later and then decide

on the right time to give whatever it is to Emma. Obviously it was important enough
to her since she made Tanya promise that Emma would get it when she passed."

I nodded. "Should I read the letter?"

"When you're ready. Then you can decide when and if you share it with her. It's

your decision. I don't think she would send her granddaughter something that would
hurt her. From what you've told me she was a kind woman. She had no hidden
agendas for hurting you or Emma."

"No. Her daughter is the one that excelled at that."

Bella pulled back and cupped my face. Her voice was low and filled with emotion.

"She is an awful woman, Edward. Don't you dare believe a word of the venom she
spouted off. Not one. She is a vindictive, nasty person."

Leaning forward, she kissed me. "You are an amazing doctor." Kiss. "A wonderful

father." Kiss. "Warm." Kiss. "Kind." Kiss. Her voice lowered. "An amazing lover." Her
sweet kiss lasted longer after that declaration. "Sexy, sweet and mine," she
whispered before capturing my mouth with hers again, this time kissing me deeply,
her tongue claiming ownership of my mouth.

Groaning, I kissed her back. She was here. She was real. She was mine.

And she was right. Tanya's opinion didn't matter anymore.

Bella pulled back gently, but not before kissing me sweetly one last time.

"Edward…" she breathed.

My fingers ran down her warm cheek. "Hmm?"

"How fast can we get a truck?"

- 243 -

I looked at her. "Really?"

"Yes, I want to be here. I need to be here. As soon as possible."

I dug in my pocket for my phone. I wanted that as well.

"Tomorrow."

She smiled. "I don't think I can pack it all up tomorrow."

I shook my head as I dialed Jake. "We'll bring what you need and pack the rest

later. We need you here with us as well, Bella. Please?"

"Okay."

I pulled up in front of the house, smiling. Mom's car was there and I knew she

would have things well underway and that Emma was with her, no doubt driving her
crazy. She had been busting keeping this secret and I was actually amazed she had
been able to do so. I somehow doubted the evening would go exactly as planned, but
I was fine with that. I fingered the envelope beside me on the seat, praying tonight
would turn out the way I was hoping and the two desires I expressed to Bella would
be met with positive answers.

The past three months had been hectic, crazy and amazing. The practice was

booming and the transition from the hospital had been surprisingly easy. We had
hired a woman who ran the office like a well-oiled machine and allowed Jake and I to
do what we wanted to do; provide great care to our patients and build up the
practice. Already we were planning on bringing two more doctors on board and with
the huge number of resumes we had received we would have our pick of the best.
Heather had also hired great support staff for us; our nurses and technicians were
well trained and treated our patients well. We had added an x-ray clinic and lab to
the building making it easier for people who were already there to go for needed
testing and ensure better controls. And, throughout the entire process Bella had
been a never-ending pillar of support and strength. She and Emma were the
brightest parts of my days and although I missed being able to run next door for
lunch anytime I wanted, Bella made a point of bringing Emma to me once a week so
I could eat with them and share part of their day. Jake and I split the on-call duties,
but were both looking forward to sharing that with the new doctors we brought on
board. If everything went according to plan, next year we would renovate the main
floor with plans on leasing part of it to a pharmacy and converting the back half into

- 244 -

a new location for Bella's daycare business. It would give her more space, more
control, as well as the added bonus of her being so close to me again. She and Leah
were full of ideas and plans and I loved seeing her so excited.

Jasper and his wife, Alice, had been to see the practice, scout out housing and we

expected them to arrive soon. Both Jake and I were thrilled to have Jasper come
onboard with us. When we had sat down with him, it was obvious he would be a
perfect fit for the practice, as well as the added bonus of having my friend back in
my life again. Afterwards, we went back to the house, Jasper stopping to pick up
Alice and their son, and I was thrilled to see Bella, Alice and Leah instantly strike up
a friendship. Emma fell in love with their son, Emmett, a waddling, shy, little boy
who stared at her wide-eyed for a while from the safety of his mother's knee, before
falling under her spell. From then on, he followed her everywhere, his chubby little
legs going as fast as they could to keep up with her. Watching her reach out to this
shy child was so wonderful to witness. Bella insisted it was a gift Emma had
naturally; drawing people out of their shells, like she had once had happen to her. I
personally felt it was a gift she learned from Bella.

The final divorce papers had arrived shortly after Tanya's sudden appearance and

it was with a deep sense of relief that I signed them and sent them back
immediately. I was free of Tanya. She was no longer part of our life, and Emma and I
could move forward. That meant living our lives with Bella firmly entrenched in
them. Her moving in had been the balm we needed. She made our house a home and
we became a real family. Now it was time for the next step in that journey.

Grabbing the bags off the seat, I quickly went into the house, frowning at the grey

skies. Luckily rain was forecast, but no storm. The weather had already forced me to
move my plans indoors, but a storm would totally put the brakes on them. Bella was
still petrified, although perhaps not as badly as she had been when I first met her
five months ago. And, with Emma in the same room with us, there was no way I
could distract her the way I usually did now when a storm blew through. I followed
the excited voices into the kitchen, grinning as I saw the hub of activity in the
kitchen.

"Daddy!" Emma squealed when she saw me come in.

I went over and dropped a kiss onto her head of curls. "How was your day,

Babygirl?"

"I had fun today! And I nebber saided a word, wight Grams?"

Mom laughed and leaned over for her kiss. "Neither of us did. Bella has no idea."

- 245 -

I looked at the feast spread out on the counter. "This looks amazing, Mom."

She smiled at my praise. "All Bella's favorites. Just like you asked."

"She's gonna love it."

Mom's eyes were dancing. "Did you get…everything?"

"Yes, all set."

"Go look at the living room. Tell me what you think. Emma and I worked very hard

on it!"

"Me too, Daddy!" Emma's arms reached out to me.

I scooped her up off the counter and walked into the living room and stopped

short. It was beyond what I had hoped. Earlier in the summer we had a picnic and
spent the day as a family enjoying the fresh air and delicious food Bella had packed.
She had declared it her favorite day ever and I had wanted to recreate it for her.
When the weather threatened to squash my idea, Mom had stepped in and insisted
she could fix it. And fix it she had.

The living room was transformed into an oasis of summer. Flowers, plants, leaves

and soft twinkling lights festooned the room. The furniture had been pushed out of
the way and the same blanket we had used that day now covered the floor with some
cushions for softness. A picnic basket was sitting on the edge filled with even more
food than was waiting in the kitchen to be brought in. And somehow she had even
found a recording of rushing water and soft breezes that played from the iPod in the
corner. The room was magical in its beauty. And, a perfect setting for what I wanted
to happen tonight. Bella would be spellbound.

"Well?" Mom's voice was anxious.

I pulled her into my side and kissed her forehead. "Mom, it's beyond perfect," I

said quietly, not trusting my voice to say much more.

She sighed in satisfaction. "I rather thought so."

"Bella will love it."

Emma giggled. "Me can'ts wait for her to come home!"

- 246 -

I squeezed her in agreement. "Me either, Babygirl."

Mom reached out and took her from me. "Okay, let's go get you dressed, Emma.

Edward, please tell me you're not planning on wearing scrubs. I hope I've brought
you up with a little more sense of occasion than that?"

I laughed. "No Mom. I'll go grab a shower and change. Bella thinks we are

heading out for a business dinner as soon as she gets home so she is changing at the
daycare. We won't let you down with our lack of style. Promise."

"Okay. Quickly, then. We still have a lot to do and then I will get out of here. Dad

and I will be back in the morning to pick up Emma so you and Bella have the whole
day, right?"

I smiled happily. "Thanks, Mom. "

She grinned back at me. "Go. Clean yourself up-tonight is special! Be sure to

scrub behind you ears!" she teased playfully.

Emma's brow furrowed. "Mommy is always kissing Daddy's ears, Grams. I catched

them lots. And Daddy hums." She shook her head. "They kisses all da time."

Mom laughed as I felt my face grow warm. "Is that so?"

Emma nodded, frowning. "I no kiss boys. It's ewww. I not sure why Mommy kisses

Daddy so much." She looked at me curiously. "How comes Daddy? Does she hafta?"
Her eyes grew wide. "Is it yike a wule?"

I stared back at Emma blankly. Then at my mom, who was holding in her laughter.

"I've got this one, dear," she said kindly. "Go have your shower."

Silently, I turned and made my way down the hall; grateful I didn't have to answer

the question, yet slightly worried about what information my mother would share
with Emma. But, I did like the idea of Bella kissing me being a rule. A strict rule she
had to follow daily.

Bella kissing me every day. Anytime I wanted. What a great rule.

Just the thought made me smile.

It would be my favorite rule.

- 247 -

Hmmm. I wonder what he has planned? LOL... we'll find out soon.

Two more chapters my friends. Then we say goodbye to this little family

we have all come to love so much. Thank you for that. See you mid week.

- 248 -

Chapter 37

Emma and I were waiting inside the door for Bella when she got home. The door

opened and she rushed in, already calling my name, when she stopped dead at the
sight of us. I'm sure we looked quite the pair, Emma and I both grinning madly at
her confusion, blocking the entrance to the living room as to not spoil the surprise
that awaited her.

"Edward? What's going on?" She frowned as she looked down at Emma in

confusion. "I thought your mom had Emma? Aren't we going for dinner?" Then
worry crossed her face. "Is everything okay? Are you sick, Babygirl?"

Bella stepped forward to check on Emma, but I held my hand out. "She's fine.

We're both fine."

Emma was grinning in delight, so excited her lisp slipped out. "We dots a surpwise

for you, Mommy!"

A smile lit up Bella's face. "A surprise? For me?"

Emma stepped forward and handed Bella a small bunch of flowers. "Des is for you,

Mommy."

Bending down, Bella took the flowers and then scooped Emma up in her arms.

Together they sniffed the blossoms. "Thank you." Bella smiled at Emma and kissed
her nose playfully.

Stepping forward, I kissed Bella sweetly, making sure to stay away from her ears

or humming at her. "Hi."

Bella looked up at me and smiled as she cupped my cheek. "Hi, yourself." Her eyes

looked behind me and flew open in shock. "Edward…" she breathed. "What have you
done?"

Wrapping my arm around her and Emma, I escorted them into the living room.

"We wanted to take you on a picnic, but since the weather didn't cooperate we
brought the picnic to you."

Bella looked around, taking in all the details. Her eyes were sparkling as she took

in the scene and she shook her head. "This is…oh, Edward…" her voice trailed off.

- 249 -

"You yike it, Mommy?"

Bella just nodded. I could see tears shimmering in her eyes and I leaned down to

brush another kiss on her head. She glanced up at me in confusion. "Why?"

I grinned. "Because we love you."

Her breath caught and she kissed Emma's cheek before setting her down and

turning, she threw her arms around my neck. "I love you, Edward. So much."

I pulled her close, loving how right she felt in my arms. Pulling back, I lifted her

chin. "Tonight is about us, Bella. Our family. You and Emma are the most important
things in my life. I wouldn't have made it through the past few months without you."

Bella smiled through her tears. "We're so proud of you, Edward."

I smiled as I led her over to the blanket. Leaning down, I pulled off her shoes. "No

need for these tonight, Bella. Picnics don't require shoes."

Emma happily kicked hers off before she giggled and sat down on the blanket, her

whole body quivering in anticipation. Her eyes strayed to the packages she had seen
me hide just before Bella arrived. I knew there was a good chance we were not
going to make it to dessert before she blurted something out. But I didn't care. Right
now, I had my girls, they were happy and I was ecstatic. I kicked off my own shoes
and joined them on the blanket and surveyed the feast before us. I had been so
nervous all day I hadn't eaten anything and suddenly I was starving. Lifting the
sparkling grape juice out of the ice bucket, I smiled. "Champagne, ladies?"

I groaned in contentment. Bella laughed as she surveyed the look on my face as I

patted my very full belly. "Are you sure you ate enough? I lost count after the first
dozen sandwiches you ate."

I scoffed at her. "Those little rolled things don't count as an actual sandwich,

Bella. They're like a bite… maybe a bite and a half at most. I doubt I ate the
equivalent of two real sandwiches."

"Uh huh…and the cheese and veggies and fruit? Those don't count as actual

things either?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "Nope. All cut up like that? Deceiving. Really, I

- 250 -

hardly ate anything at all."

Emma giggled beside me. "Daddy you ated lots. Grams saided you has an

holloweded leg so she had to make yots of food to fills it." Emma frowned in
confusion. "How did dat happen, Daddy?"

Bella chuckled and leaned forward, lifting Emma onto her lap. "He was born with

it."

Emma looked down at her own legs. "Does me haf one?"

Leaning forward, I pretended to examine her legs, lifting and bending them. I

knocked on them, frowning and shook my head. "I think maybe the right one is a
little hollow. Let me make sure." Bending to hide my grin, I blew a loud raspberry on
both of them causing Emma to burst out in a fit of giggles. I nodded sagely. "Yep.
The right one."

Bella laughed merrily at our antics as she shook her head. Emma giggled and I

revelled in the sound. After going so long despairing I would ever hear it again, it
was still music to my ears. Watching her grow more secure every day with Bella and
I together, made me realize how important what we were about to do was, and
immediately I became nervous again. Looking up, I saw Bella watching me closely.
"What is it?" she asked gently, while holding Emma, sensing my sudden change in
demeanor.

I sat up and reached behind me, pulling out an envelope and a small flat box I had

tucked into the sofa. Taking a deep breath, I crooked my finger at Emma who got up
and stood beside me. We both looked at Bella quietly. She returned our gaze with
one of her own that was filled with curiosity. I handed the envelope to Emma and
nodded. "You remember what I said, Babygirl?"

Emma nodded and used both hands to hold the envelope. She moved to stand in

front of Bella. "Daddy and I want to ask you somefin, Mommy. Pwease."

Bella smiled gently at her. "What do you want, Emma?"

Emma looked back at me and I nodded encouragingly. "We wants to ask you to be

opichial."

Bella looked at me, confused.

"Opichial?"

- 251 -

My voice shook. "Official."

Bella's voice became softer. "Can you be a little clearer, please? I'm not sure I

understand."

"Open the envelope, Bella," I instructed quietly.

Her hand was shaking as she took the envelope from Emma. As she opened the

flap, momentarily distracted, I pressed the small box into Emma's hand, keeping the
second one I grabbed in my hand as I moved closer to both of them.

Bella's eyes flew over the legal document in the envelope, her eyes widening and

filling with tears as she read the words.

Her shocked gaze lifted to me. "Really, Edward? This can happen?" Her voice

caught. "You both want this?"

I nodded. "I had Demitri start the petition as soon as the other matter was done." I

drew in a deep breath. "Emma and I want you to adopt her and become her
mommy-officially. Because you already are in every other sense of the word," I
whispered.

I waited. Bella's hand reached out and cupped Emma's cheek tenderly. "Do you

want me to be your mommy forever, Babygirl?"

Emma nodded. "Foreber. I lubs you, Mommy." Her little hand thrust out the box.

"Dis makes it opichail."

Bella's smile when she opened the box almost stopped my heart. It radiated love

and joy as she looked up from the mother/daughter bracelets I had made for her and
Emma. She glanced down at the adoption papers in her hand and burst into tears.
The box and the papers were dropped as she leaned forward dragging Emma into
her arms. "Yes, my girl," she whispered fiercely. I want to be your
mommy-officially." Emma's little arms clutched her neck and I could see she was
crying as well. I felt my throat tighten as I watched the two people I loved more than
anything in the world heal each other with their shared gift of love. I shifted and
wrapped them both up in my embrace, holding them closely and dropping kisses on
both their heads.

Bella looked up, her eyes awash with tears, yet brimming with so much happiness.

"Thank you," she whispered.

- 252 -

Smiling, I stroked her cheek. "Um, there's one more thing, Bella."

She shook her head. "More? How could you possible make this any better?"

Lifting her hand, I pressed the ring box into her palm, my voice shaking as I tried

to express my feelings. "We're kind of a package deal, Bella. I want you forever, too.
Would you marry me? Make me opichial too?"

Bella stared at me blankly, her mouth forming a small O. She looked down at

Emma, who was smiling widely at her, and then back up at me, fresh tears now
running down her face. Her hand came up cupping my face. "Edward," she
breathed.

"Is that a yes?"

She nodded. "I want to be yours forever as well. Yes."

I pulled her to me, kissing her deeply. I managed to remember Emma was still on

her knee so I kept it short and I was smiling when I pulled back. Bella smiled back at
me joyfully.

"Open it," I encouraged, squeezing her hand holding the ring box.

Her reaction was wondrous to watch. Her eyes widened and she gasped softly as

the emerald and diamond ring was revealed. Leaning over, I removed it from its
case and slipped it on her finger. "I fell in love with you the instant I saw you in that
green dress, Bella. It became my favorite color on you. I was hoping you would wear
this as a token of my love so I could see that color on you every day for the rest of
my life."

"Edward. It's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen," she whispered, holding out

her hand to admire the sparkling ring.

Leaning forward, I kissed her again. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever

seen, Bella." I picked up the other box and carefully placed a bracelet on each of
their wrists. I smiled at the sight of their matching symbols. "Now, it's official. You
both belong to me. Forever." My throat tightened. "My girls."

The next minute I was surrounded in a Bella/Emma hug.

My ears were filled with their sweet voices telling me they loved me.

- 253 -

My soul drank in the affection they covered me in with their warmth.

I wrapped my arms around both of them, holding them close.

My family.

Emma fell asleep with her head on Bella's knee, their hands clasped tightly

together. It took two trips to get her and the grown kittens into bed and settled. I
left Bella tucking her in while I went to the kitchen and grabbed the actual bottle of
champagne for us. In the living room I sat back on our blanket and waited for Bella.
When she appeared I sat up, holding my hand out for her and helped her settle
beside me. She watched, smiling as I uncorked the champagne and poured us each a
glass. "To us," I offered simply as we toasted each other. "To our future," Bella
responded, taking a sip. Leaning forward, I kissed her, softly nuzzling her lips with
mine.

"Thank you."

She drew back. "For what?"

I smiled as I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "For being you. For coming into

our lives and showing us how to live again. For loving me, for loving Emma." I
paused. "For saying yes…to both of us."

"Thank you for loving me right back, Edward. I can't wait to be your wife. And

Emma's mother. Opichially."

I chuckled. "Yeah, she had a lot of problem with that big word."

"I kinda like her version."

I kissed her again. "I kinda like you."

"That's a good thing considering what happened here tonight," she whispered

teasingly as she looked down at the ring glowing on her finger.

"Are you sure you like it, Bella? We can change it for a traditional diamond," I

offered quietly. "The wedding band is all diamonds though."

She shook her head. "I'm sure it's beautiful as well. But, Edward, I love this ring.

- 254 -

It's so unique and special. And you picked it for me-that makes it even more so."

Smiling, I shook my head in wonder. She always said the right thing; somehow she

knew what I needed to hear. Whereas I never seemed to do anything right for
Tanya, with Bella, she always made sure to tell me how much I pleased her.

My fingers stroked her cheek. "Just like you, Bella."

I took another sip of champagne. "Did you mean what you said earlier, Bella? Will

you marry me soon?"

She nodded. "I will," she smiled. "I don't want anything fancy, Edward. You, me,

Emma, our parents and a few friends. Dinner. Some pictures," she shrugged.

"And a cake?"

She laughed. "Of course a cake. How could I possibly marry you without a cake?"

"How indeed." I grinned and took the glass from her hand and placed it beside

mine on the table. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto my lap,
kissing her deeply. I could taste the sharpness of the wine on her tongue mixed in
with her own sweet flavor, the combination intoxicating. Groaning, I pulled her
closer, wanting to feel her pressed up against me. Our tongues stroked and tasted,
as our hands roamed gently, caressing and touching as we slowly sunk into the
cushions below us on the blanket. Over and over I kissed her, savoring the moment,
the feelings and just Bella. Trailing my lips down her cheek to her neck, I pulled the
material of her blouse away and nibbled gently on her fragrant skin as her lips found
my ear, drawing the lobe in and nuzzling. I moaned lowly, loving the sensations she
always brought forth in me and then stopped and drew back looking down at her in
amusement as I realized what other noise was coming from my throat.

"What?"

Sheepishly, I told her about the conversation with my mother and Emma earlier. I

lowered my head to her neck in embarrassment as I realized Emma was right. When
Bella nibbled my ear, I starting humming with happiness. I looked up at her, aghast.
"My daughter knows my sex noises," I whispered. "Oh, God."

Bella chuckled and pushed on my chest, pushing me down, so she was straddling

me. "Your humming is not one of your sex noises, Edward."

"No?"

- 255 -

"No. It's your contented, happy place noise."

"Oh."

I blinked up at her smiling face. I had no idea there was such noises, but somehow

her words made me feel better.

Bella leaned forward and began placing open-mouthed wet kisses on my neck, her

hands sliding under my shirt and stroking my chest and abdomen with her fingers,
gliding and teasing as her lips trailed over the sensitive skin between my ear and
shoulder. I arched my neck offering her more access as a deep groan escaped my
lips, and my hands tightened on her hips. "Now that, right there?" she whispered
lustfully. "That is one of your sex noises, Edward." Her teeth nipped and I hissed at
the sensation that seemed to flow directly to my cock. "And that one… its one of my
favorites. I love hearing that noise."

Growling, I grabbed her and rolled us so I was now hovering over her. Her eyes

gazed up at me hooded with deep desire. "And when you do that growly thing, God,
you have no idea what that does to me, Edward."

Leaning down, I kissed her. "Tell me," I murmured against her lips. "Tell me what

it does to you…"

She leaned up close to my ear. "It makes me…so…wet."

Pulling her against me, I crashed my mouth to hers, plunging my tongue into her

sweetness. My hands pulled and strained at her clothing, desperate to feel her skin
against mine. The few seconds it took to pull our shirts over our heads was too long
and my lips ached with the need to be back on hers instantly. Laying her down, my
lips skimmed her flesh, searching and tasting every part of her, each sweet curve
and dip tasting uniquely special and so Bella. My hands cupped her breasts as I
drew her hardened nipples into my mouth teasing and nipping as she arched under
me, quiet little moans escaping her lips. Her hands stroked and kneaded my flesh,
before finally closing around my aching erection as I pressed up against her in
raging need. Pressing one leg between hers, my fingers stroked her, feeling her
readiness. "Oh, God, Bella, you are so wet for me," I moaned. "You want me, my
girl?" I murmured, teasing her with my fingers as she arched, pressing herself up
against my hand. "You want me to take you?" I continued to tease her, drawing out
her pleasure. "Tell me," I demanded as I caught her lobe in my teeth and bit down
lightly.

She shuddered as she writhed under me. "Yes, Edward," she panted. "You…I want

- 256 -

you…Oh God…" Her head thrashed madly as her hands clutched at me. "Now,
please…"

Slipping between her open thighs I hitched her leg around my waist and eased

into her warmth, groaning as she encased me. Her other leg came up and wrapped
around me tightly, while her arms held me against her.

"Take me, Edward, please," she moaned as I began moving within her. Bella met

my thrusts eagerly and we began a sweet rhythm together, our bodies merging and
blending into one as we clung to each other. The softest moan slipped from Bella's
lips as I shifted, lifting her leg higher and pushed deeper inside of her, desperate to
feel more of her.

"Yes...oh God… yes...Edward…"

I could feel the growl building in my chest as my body began to tighten, needing,

wanting, its release. "Come for me, baby…please," I groaned, wanting to feel her
climax around me before I let go. Her arms tightened as she stilled, her muscles
fluttering as she arched and twisted beneath me in a long shudder of ecstasy.
Burying my head in her neck, I allowed the rush to flow through me as I gasped her
name and spilled into her. Bursts of light exploded behind my eyes as my orgasm hit
me and I continued to move in her until I was spent.

Hovering over her, I reached up and tenderly stroked the hair away from her face.

Her cheeks were flushed pink as she gazed back up at me, love and contentment
evident in her expression.

"Now, those were some sex noises," she teased tenderly as she kissed me.

I grinned down at her. "Ditto, Ms. Swan, soon to be Mrs. Cullen."

Her fingers danced over my cheek. "I like the sound of that."

"I do, as well."

I rolled to my side, and tucked her up against my chest, my arms holding her close

as we both were quiet for a few minutes. My fingers played with her hands, stroking
the new ring on her finger.

"How soon, Bella?"

She turned and kissed my arm that was lying under her head.

- 257 -

"You're on call next week?"

I nodded.

"The week after, then."

I smiled widely. "Really?"

She nodded.

"Where?"

"Right here."

I smiled. This was the room we had all our firsts in. Talking, kissing, sharing.

"I'll ask Mom to work her magic."

Bella nodded. "Perfect."

"Dinner?"

Her brow wrinkled. "Let's have it catered. Simple."

"Two weeks from tomorrow, then?"

Bella nodded. "Your mom and I will talk tomorrow and I'll call my parents."

I nuzzled my lips on her neck. "Are you sure, Bella?" My arm tightened around

her. "This is the only wedding you're gonna get, because I am never letting you go. I
want it to be what you want."

She rolled over so she was facing me. "As long as you and Emma are there, and

we have some pictures of us all together, and that's all I care about, Edward. I don't
need the big dress or overpriced dinner to make it special. It will be special because
it's us."

I gazed at her in wonder. I captured her lips with mine and kissed her

passionately. "Us. I like that."

"Me, too."

- 258 -

"Can we, um, have the night, alone?" Bella asked hesitantly.

I drew back. "Yes, Bella, of course we will. In fact I'll talk to Jake and take a couple

of extra days. We'll go away for a few nights and celebrate. Just us. Mom and Dad
will keep Emma."

Her smile was brilliant. "Really?"

I nodded. "As soon as we are a little more settled the three of us will take a trip,

maybe a family cruise or something, but I want you to myself for a few days."

"I don't want Emma to feel left out."

I chuckled. "She won't. Mom will spoil her and I'll talk to her and make sure she

understands. She'll be fine."

She nuzzled closer. "Thank you."

I lifted her chin. "Don't ever be afraid to ask me for something you want, Bella.

You give us so much, and ask for so little. Wanting some time alone with me isn't
wrong. We're a family, but I need to make sure we always have time for us as well."
I kissed her gently. "You're so important to me. We, as a couple, are important. I
want the time as well. Okay?"

Her eyes shone up at me. "Okay."

Leaning down, I kissed her again. "Are you ready for bed?"

She looked around at our clothes scattered around the room. "We need to clean

this up a little."

I chuckled. "I'll roll everything into the blanket and toss it in our room. We'll tidy

the rest up in the morning." Grinning, I waggled my eyebrows at her. "I'm not done
with you yet."

She grinned. "I didn't think you were, Dr. Cullen." She stood up, stretching, her

back arching and I sat, mesmerized at the loveliness in front of me.

Mine.

Leaning down, she brushed her lips on mine and then walked away, swaying her

hips. "I'll leave you to this then…meet you in our room…" She winked.

- 259 -

I stood up and in a few minutes had gathered up the clothes, rolled them up,

unplugged the lights and carried the champagne to the kitchen. The food had
already been put away. The rest could wait until the morning.

I stopped in the doorway and looked at Bella. She gazed back at me from her spot

on our bed, her knees drawn up to her chest, her back against the headboard as she
smiled, love filling her eyes for me. I sighed in happiness. So much love. And always
for me.

Her hand reached out and I stepped forward to clasp it in mine. She smiled up at

me and my breath caught in my throat as I realized that she would be here, with me,
every night in our bed. Waiting for me. For the rest of my life.

She was my future.

And because of her, my future was bright.

One chapter left which will post on Sunday. Pictures of Bella's ring and

the bracelets on my group page EdwardEternals Love of Words on Facebook.

Come join us!

- 260 -

Chapter 38

So my friends, I give you the last chapter. Thank you for reading and

loving this fic so much. Thank you for your kind words and sharing your own
stories with me. I am humbled by the outpouring this received. This chapter
is slightly different for me, and I am somewhat nervous posting. Tissues are
required I have been told.

See you at the bottom...

A year later…

It was almost two a.m. when I pulled the car into the driveway, my eyes burning

with exhaustion and barely contained emotion. I glanced at the house where a soft
light burnt over the door and another in the window, both lit, I knew, for me; waiting
for me to come home.

I quietly made my way into the house and immediately headed for Emma's room. I

knelt beside her bed watching her sleep, her hair a mass of curls around her head,
her cats both curled up beside her. She would be six very soon, the past months
flying by in such a blur of smiles and memories, it was hard to believe. My heart
ached at the loss I had suffered tonight, yet rejoiced in the fact I was able to be here
and watch her sleep. My Babygirl. Leaning over, I kissed her forehead and stroked
her soft hair before standing and heading down the hall to the place I had yearned
to be for hours.

My safe haven.

With Bella.

I wasn't surprised to see the light still burning, or Bella sitting up reading in our

bed. Wordlessly, I stood in the doorway and gazed lovingly at my wife. She gazed
back at me, her tired, sad eyes filled with understanding and support. Silently,
tilting her head, she asked, and with a nod I let her know it was over. Tears filled
her eyes as her arms opened and I moved to the bed, crawling up the mattress to
reach her, and I burrowed my face into the warmth of her lap, my arms pulling her
to me as she protectively embraced me, her hands stroking my head, as she crooned
comforting words to me.

"I have you, Edward. Let it out. Just let it out, sweetheart."

- 261 -

Clutching her tightly, I let the emotions I had been holding in escape. The tears

burnt as they fell from my eyes and my shoulders shook with the force of my it all
Bella held me tightly, weeping with me, while giving me that special, soft place to
land she always provided.

Eventually I stilled. Bella's hands continued to smooth themselves through my hair

in her own comforting manner.

"Did you eat?"

I shook my head.

"Can I make you something?"

"No," I whispered, my voice hoarse.

"Is there anything you want, Edward?"

I nodded.

"Tell me," she insisted quietly. "Let me help you."

I pushed myself up on my elbows and stared at her. Her gentle, warm blue eyes

stared back at me as I absorbed her features, committing them once again to my
memory. The dark cloud of her hair hanging past her shoulders, the soft curve of her
cheeks, her sweet, understanding, smile as she watched me, silently, waiting for me
to tell her what I needed. Despite the fact that she was as devastated as I was, she
still put what I needed first.

"What do you want, sweetheart?" she repeated quietly.

I leaned close enough that I could feel her warm breath on my lips. "You, Bella. I

want you. I need you. Now."

A tiny gasp escaped her mouth before mine covered it. Instantly, her touch

soothed me, warming me like a blanket. Cupping her head, I pulled her closer,
savoring her sweetness. I needed to lose myself in her. I needed to feel her wrapped
around me, her life pulsating beneath her skin and transferring to mine. I needed to
taste her skin, to feel her warmth. I needed to be inside her, to know she was here
with me.

- 262 -

Groaning, I lowered us both to the mattress, only allowing my lips to leave hers

long enough to rid myself of my clothes. Bella watched me with hooded eyes, smiling
as she pulled the t-shirt she was wearing over her head and opened her arms to
welcome me back to her. Her arms pulled me tightly against her and I moaned at
the rush of pleasure of being held securely against her warm skin. I pressed kiss
after kiss to her mouth, her neck and shoulders, trailing my way down her torso as
my fingers teased and caressed her. Her hands traced my spine in small circles,
gliding up to my shoulders and down to my hips languidly, her touch gentle and
giving. Her legs parted, wrapping around my hips, pulling me into her warmth and I
buried my head in the nape of her neck as I felt her encase me in her wet heat.
Slowly, we moved together, the need to feel each other overwhelming us both. Skin
slid against skin, while whispers of want and yearning were spoken into the air
around us. Our breath mingled as our mouths fused together, breaking apart to
whisper soft words of endearment and desire only to fuse back together as our
tongues swirled and tasted, gliding over each other's with desperate need. My body
tightened as I felt the swell of my orgasm cresting and I pulled Bella closer, her
name spilling from my lips as pleasure tore through me, pulsating and hot. She
arched sharply under me, pulling me deeper as she gasped, her hand grasping my
arms tightly as she came, whimpering softly as she held onto me. Slowly my body
stilled and I rolled over pulling her with me, unable to let her go, still buried within
her warmth. My hands brushed the hair back from her face and I kissed her over
and over, as I clutched her to me, whispering her name and how much I loved her,
in between each one.

Her hands cupped my face. "I'm here, Edward. I'm not going anywhere," she

crooned as she dropped small kisses to my mouth. "It's all right, sweetheart, it's all
right. I'm right here."

Wrapped in her embrace, she rocked us gently, whispering words of comfort and

love and I felt myself begin to relax, my hold loosening as my body began slipping
into sleep.

"Stay," I begged wearily.

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward. I have you. Sleep," she whispered against my

brow as I burrowed into her chest.

I pulled her impossibly closer and sighed in contentment.

Wrapped in Bella's arms, I was safe.

I was home.

- 263 -

My eyes blinked in the early morning light. I sat up looking around. The house was

silent and I glanced at the clock to see it was just after eight. Both Bella and Emma
would be gone. Jake knew I wasn't coming in today and Bella must have turned off
the alarm so I would sleep. I shook my head sadly. I would rather have woken up
with her and seen her before she left, no matter how tired I was from the long night.
I had hardly seen her in the past couple weeks.

I got up, pulling on some sweats and a shirt and walked into the kitchen. I stopped

short in the doorway at the sight of Bella sitting at the table. She looked up, smiling
warmly at me. "Hi, sweetheart. I was just thinking about coming to get you."

I moved forward quickly, pulling her out of her chair and into my arms. I knew I

was holding onto her far too tightly, yet I couldn't stop. "Hey," she soothed. "It's
okay, Edward." She pulled back, cupping my cheeks. "I'm right here, baby. Please.
Relax."

I nodded silently and pulled her back to my chest, needing to feel her against me.

"I thought you'd be at work."

She shook her head. "No. I knew you'd need me today. In fact I've taken the rest

of the week off. We have a lot to deal with and I need to concentrate on that. Beth
has everything under control."

I leaned down and kissed her. "Thank you."

She smiled up at me. "I'm going to go have a shower; I want you to eat some

breakfast." Turning, she grabbed a plate from the oven and placed it in front of me.
"You've hardly eaten the past couple weeks."

I looked down at my plate, swallowing. I wasn't overly hungry. I shook my head.

"I'll come shower with you."

"Edward."

I looked up into Bella's concerned eyes. She sat down beside me, her hands

clasping mine. "I'll just be down the hall. I'm here. Emma's safe. We're okay,
Edward."

I nodded wordlessly. I knew that, yet I couldn't seem to stop this dreadful fear that

kept threatening to overtake me.

"What happened to Jasper and Alice is terrible, Edward. But it's not going to

- 264 -

happen to us, okay? And we need to figure out the next step." She squeezed my
hand. "There is someone we need to look out for now, right?"

I drew in a deep breath. She was right.

"I'm sorry; I don't know why I'm acting like this."

Bella frowned at me. "Because you lost your friend, Edward. And you watched him

suffer while grieving the loss of his wife. You're mourning them. And it's making you
fear losing us."

I pulled her onto my lap. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you, Bella. Or

Emma."

She wrapped her arms around me. "You won't. We're here, Edward. Right here,"

she stressed, kissing my forehead tenderly.

I inhaled her warmth. "Thank God."

Bella sat with me while I ate some breakfast and then I moved to the couch with

coffee while Bella went for her shower. My head leaned back on the couch as my
mind replayed, over again, the events of the past couple weeks.

Jasper had joined us not long after we opened the practice, adding another

successful layer to our business. Alice found work at a local boutique and their son
Emmett, was a Learner Bee at Bella's daycare. Bella and Alice became very close
and the four of us, along with our children, began hanging out together. Jasper and I
had returned to the ease of our friendship as if no time had passed at all. Having
him back in my life was great and the fact our families were so close added an
element of completion. Emma adored Emmett, who in turn followed her around like
a puppy dog, and basically let her do anything to him she wanted; including tea
parties and dress up time. If Emma wanted it, he did it. Nothing our daughter asked
of this three year old was rejected. Seeing his stocky little body sitting in a pink boa
and wide-brimmed hat while he sipped "tea" with his "Amma" made everyone smile.
His lisping voice calling her name made her smile widely as she would tuck herself
into a corner in one of their never-ending games of hide and seek.

Then, two weeks ago, tragedy struck. Jasper and Alice were on their way out for

the evening, when they were hit by a drunk driver. Alice was killed instantly, but
Jasper hung on for days, drifting in and out of consciousness, some moments totally

- 265 -

lucid and others lost in a world that only existed in his mind. His grief over losing
Alice was painful to witness when he was awake. His parents had flown in
immediately to look after Emmett, taking turns sitting at his bed, silent sentinels,
watching their son fade in and out. I spent as much time with them as I could, as did
Bella.

In one lucid moment, Jasper grabbed my hand as I stood quietly talking to his

mother, and Bella gently wiped his face down with a cool cloth. "You need to take
care of Emmett for me, Edward. You and Bella. You need to be his family now," he
begged.

My eyes flew to Bella's before I tried to comfort him. "You're gonna be fine, Jazz.

You'll look after Emmett yourself. We just have to get you stable."

His head shook; his voice frantic. "No. Promise me, Edward. Promise me you'll

take care of my son." His head turned. "Bella? Alice wants this, we want this. She's
waiting for me. I can't go until we know he's got you to look after him. To love him.
Promise me you'll love him."

Bella leaned over, speaking gently, soothing him. "We will, Jazz. Like he was our

own. We'll take care of him."

Jasper's voice shook as his eyes darted between us. "You promise?"

Desperation blazed in his eyes as he stared at me. I placed my hand on his

shoulder. "I swear, Jasper."

His eyes closed. "Thank you," his voice was weary. "Make sure he knows how

much we love him."

He never woke up again.

Bella sat down beside me, threading her fingers through mine. I smiled at her and

lifted our hands, grazing her fingers with my lips.

"Did you talk to Jasper's parents again?"

I nodded. "They already contacted a lawyer. They want us to take Emmett, Bella.

They want to be involved in his life but they both insist it was Jasper's desire for us
to have him. They are too old to raise a child and they both told me Jasper expressed

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his wishes more than once. He and Alice both had wills and everything will be
placed in trust for him when he is older. It's not huge, but if we handle it properly it
will pay for his education and give him a little nest egg."

"Like your grandparents did for you."

I nodded. "We haven't really even discussed this, Bella. Are you sure? Emmett is

going to need a lot of care and patience. It will be a huge adjustment."

Bella stood up, extending her hand. "Come with me."

I followed her to the guestroom and stopped in amazement at the door. It had

completely changed. Whereas before it contained a desk and a bed for the
occasional overnight visitor it was now a room for a little boy. Brilliant blue and
warm red leaped out at you. A racing car bed replaced the larger bed that had been
there and a smaller bureau and desk were also in place along the far wall. All that
was missing was the little boy.

I looked at Bella in amazement. "How?"

She smiled. "Your mom. I told her what happened and we agreed we needed to be

ready. She took care of all of it."

She wrapped her arms around me. "So, your answer is…yes, I'm sure. We made a

promise, Edward. Emmett needs a family and we already love him. We had talked
about trying to adopt. He needs us. We need him. We can help heal him. We can be
his family. "

"Emma?"

"She adores him. I think she will love the fact she is getting a baby brother. We'll

talk to her tonight and as soon as we can, we'll bring Emmett home with us."

Slowly we walked back to the living room. "It's going to be a huge change."

Bella nodded. "It will. But together we can do this, Edward. I'll be with him at the

daycare every day. You and Emma will be here with us at night. We'll give him
everything he needs to adjust."

"He is going to be so confused."

Bella's voice was gentle. "We're all going to miss them so much, Edward. We'll

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keep their memory alive and make sure he knows how much they loved him. And he
is so young. He will adjust quicker than you think. We'll make sure he's okay."

I nodded. Leaning over, I kissed her, drawing her close as I held her face, my lips

moving with hers sweetly.

"I love you."

She smiled. "I love you as well. I'm here, Edward. We'll get through this together.

We're always stronger together."

I sat back on the sofa pulling her to me. She was right. But what she didn't say,

what she didn't realize, was it was her that made us strong. She was the centre of all
we were. She was my rock and my soft spot.

She was my everything.

We sat around in a circle in Emmett's new room. He looked around disoriented.

His little world had spun off its axis weeks ago and he was still lost.

"Where is Mama and Papa?" Emmett's voice was full of tears and confusion.

Emma spoke up beside him. "In Heaven."

Emmett shook his head. "I not want dem der, I wants them here wif me."

Bella leaned forward. "We know, Babyboy. They wanted to be here too, but they

had to go."

"Dey was sick?" He looked at me, his lips trembling. "You not fixed dem, Unca E?"

"I tried, buddy. But they were too sick."

Tears began coursing down his cheeks. Bella reached over and he let her gather

him into her arms and he sobbed on her shoulder. Feeling his pain, Emma crawled
into my lap and I held her closely while one hand reached over and rubbed Emmett's
back gently. Bella's eyes met mine over his head and I saw the pain in the depths of
her blue pools. "I love you," I mouthed silently at her. She nodded wordlessly.

Emmett pulled away and looked at Emma and I. "Me stay here now?"

- 268 -

Emma held out her hand. "You are my baby brother now, Emmett. You live wif us.

Dis is your room. Mine is wight there," she pointed across the hall. I smiled
internally listening to her. When upset or tired her lisp still came out. "We take care
of you now, wight, Daddy?"

"We will. Always. "

Emmett looked at Emma, pondering. "You is my sista now?"

Emma nodded. "I take care of you, Emmett! Dats what big sisters do."

He nodded. "I yikes dat. You my Sissy." He paused and looked up at Bella. "But me

still misses Mama and Papa."

Bella stroked his head gently. "It's okay to miss them, Emmett. We miss them too."

"Dey miss me?" he whispered as fresh tears trailed down his cheeks.

Bella's breath caught. "Very much. But they want you to be happy here. We want

you to be happy here. Do you think you could try?"

He hiccupped. "Me try."

Bella gathered him back into her embrace and unable to be away from her or him

any longer I scooted over and wrapped all of them into my arms, wishing
desperately I could ease the pain for all of them.

Emmett needed time, love and understanding. Looking at the arms that encircled

him I knew he'd get all that and more. We all needed to heal.

Six months later…

"Daddy."

I looked up, startled. I hadn't heard Emmett coming down the hall. Laying down

the medical journal, I opened my arms. "Hey Buddy, what's up? How come you're
awake?"

His little body launched itself at me and I happily caught him and was instantly

smothered in Emmett hugs and kisses. He was the most affectionate child I had ever

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known and we all loved that about him. He had a never-ending supply of hugs,
kisses and snuggles he loved to bestow on us. Setting him on my lap I smiled down
at him. "You were asleep when I checked on you earlier. Did something wake you?" I
frowned at a sudden thought. "Did you have a bad dream, Bud?"

He shook his head. "Me firsty."

Nodding, I stood up and carried him to the kitchen to get him some juice. His

arms were wrapped tightly around my neck and I hesitated before putting him down
on the counter. It felt to me like he needed to be held onto, so I kept him close
against me and grabbed a small bottle of juice and carried him back to the living
room. I smiled as I watched him sip at the juice, still snuggled in my arms, very
much the cuddler that he was.

"Mommy not kiss me night. Where is Mommy?"

Ah. That explained the visit. Although he had settled and adapted very well,

Emmett was still anxious when one of us, but especially Bella, was out of his sight
for too long. He seemed to accept that I was at work, but Bella's absence always
caused him worry. He adored her fiercely and there was no doubt who his favorite
person was, next to his Sissy Emma.

"She'll be home soon, Buddy. She and Emma are at a shower."

He looked up at me. "A showa, Daddy?"

I shrugged, unsure how to explain the concept, since I really didn't understand it

myself. "It's when ladies sit around and…drink tea and open presents."

He frowned. "Yike my birfday?"

I nodded. "But not as fun. Mommy says it's boring. But it's for Leah so she had to

go."

"Oh." He nodded as if in total understanding. "Me yike Yeah. She nice. I wait wif

you?"

My hands stroked his curly hair. He was so adorable and impossible to resist. And

also a grump when he didn't get enough sleep. Just like Jasper used to be. "Sure.
You want to lay down here with me?"

He nodded and handed me his juice. I helped him get settled with his head on my

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knee and I rubbed his back soothingly. He loved that.

"Stowy Daddy, pwease?"

He also loved my make-up stories. He never lasted long when I started talking,

usually about five minutes or so, but he requested them often. I began talking
quietly, telling him a story about the mouse who turned into a race car driver and
soon I watched his eyes drift close and his breathing even out. I kept talking until I
was sure he was out. My hands kept stroking through his curls as I watched him
sleep. My thoughts drifted through the past six months since we had lost Jasper and
Alice.

As usual, Bella was right. Emmett was young and he healed and adapted well. His

favorite person in the word was Sissy as he always called Emma. No one could
comfort him the way she could. No one knew how to make him smile and laugh like
she did. Her special little ways of sensing someone's need and helping them made
her the perfect big sister for Emmett. Sooner than I had hoped, he began to be the
mischievous little boy we knew and loved so well again. Laughter became more
commonplace than tears. His wide smile greeted me when I came home at night,
and his little arms wrapping themselves around my neck became the highlight of my
day. Bella's stories of his antics in daycare made me laugh constantly. He and Emma
were inseparable at night and on the weekends, and although I knew that would
eventually change, I loved seeing the two of them together. Weekends were filled
with picnics, movies, and family time.

I smiled fondly as I remembered the two of them standing in front of Bella and me,

their hands entwined as they informed us they had made a decision.

Bella had smiled gently at them, leaning forward. "What is that, my darlings?"

"Emmett is my brother now right?"

Bella nodded. "Yes, he is."

"You are my mommy, right?"

Bella glanced at me but nodded again.

Emma looked at me. "I is your Babygirl, right Daddy?"

I smiled at her. "Yes, you are."

- 271 -

Emma stood a little straighter. "Emmett wants to be your Babyboy. He wants you

to be his Mommy and Daddy now."

Bella and I looked at each other. We had already begun the process to legally

adopt Emmett, but we hadn't wanted to bring it up too soon.

"We want that too, Emmett," I assured him quietly.

Emmett smiled and held up a picture of Alice and Jasper. "Dis is Mama and Papa.

Me always lubs them. But you be Mommy and Daddy. Sissy says dats okay, wight?"
His voice was hesitant and I knew he needed reassurance from us.

I looked at Bella who was fighting to hold back her tears. I swallowed the lump in

my throat and smiled at him. "That is more than okay, Buddy. Mama and Papa would
be very happy about that. And we would love it if you called us Mommy and Daddy.
Just like Emma."

Emma clapped her hands. "Told ya!"

Emmett smiled at me. "Me yike dat, Daddy."

My breath caught at the sound of that word. Daddy.

And my heart was full.

The front door opening broke my musings. Looking up, I smiled as Bella walked in

with a very sleepy looking Emma. Bella smiled fondly as she saw the sleeping boy on
my knee. "Is he okay?" she asked quietly as she made her way over.

I nodded. "A little anxious. He didn't get his goodnight kiss from Mommy."

Smiling, she shook her head. "He got about a dozen of them before you picked him

up at the daycare."

Chuckling, I shook my head. "What can I say? Your kisses are addictive." I smiled

up at her with longing. I had been on-call all weekend and had missed her.

She grinned down at me. "Is that so?"

I nodded. "Totally. In fact I was just suffering some withdrawals myself."

- 272 -

She rolled her eyes, but leant down and kissed me sweetly. "Let's get our children

into bed and I'll see what I can do to help you with that problem."

I grinned up at her. "To quote our son, I yike dat."

Twenty minutes later both of them were tucked in, kissed, loved and sleeping.

Emmett barely stirred although he smiled when Bella kissed him, nuzzling his cheek
as she stroked his head. We stood in the hallway looking at both of them, a feeling of
contentment filling us both up.

"Bed or sofa, Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered quietly.

She smirked at me. "Just how bad are those withdrawal symptoms, Dr. Cullen?"

I frowned. "Bad. Very bad. Acute in fact."

Her arms wound around my neck, pulling me down to her. Playfully, her tongue

grazed over my lips as she kissed me. "Bed then," she whispered before covering my
mouth with hers. Groaning, I pulled her tightly against me as her tongue teased
mine, stroking and fluttering inside my mouth. Leaning down, I scooped her up and
carried her to our room, the sudden need to be as close to her as possible
overwhelming me.

Laying her on our bed, I looked down at her. "I love you," I whispered urgently.

"I've missed you these past couple of nights."

She reached up for me. "I love you too, Edward." Her hands stroked my cheeks.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I shook my head as I looked down at her. "I hate being away at night. And, I just

don't know if I tell you enough. If you know what you mean to me. To us." I grabbed
her hand and kissed the palm gently. "You are everything, Bella. Everything."

Her eyes gazed at me warmly as she sat up, holding my face. "I know that,

Edward. You do tell me. You do show me. I'm happier than I ever expected to be. I
love you. I love our family. I never doubt what I mean to you."

"Good," I whispered. "I never want you to doubt it."

Her arms wrapped around me, pulling me down to her sweet mouth. "Make love

to me, Edward. Show me. Show me what I mean to you."

- 273 -

I growled softly as I captured her mouth with mine. "Everything, Bella. You mean

everything." And then I proceeded to show her. Slowly, sweetly, until we were both
sated.

Afterwards, snuggled in my embrace, I kissed her head. "How was your shower?"

She chuckled. "It was fine. Beth organized it so it was enjoyable. No silly games,

just a nice evening to celebrate. Leah had a good time. They got some lovely gifts."

I grinned. "Still hard to believe how she tamed Jake. Or that they are getting

married in a month."

She looked up at me. "She's good for him. But he is good for her as well. She has

loosened up a little. She was always so serious."

I nodded. "He's become an even better doctor thanks to her. She helps him

channel his energies into something positive."

Bella chuckled. "He's all grown up now." She smiled up at me. "How was the

meeting today?"

"Great. The accountants and the bank both agree we are doing very well. The

practice is thriving and the building leases are right on track. So the daycare plans
can move ahead now, and Jake and I are going to hire two more doctors."

"Specialists?"

"No, GP's. We have all the specialists we need either on staff or in the building

now. We want to provide some more family doctors to the community. The waiting
lists are so long for new doctors. And Jake wants to add another naturopath. That
side is booming and he needs help." I smiled. "And the more doctors we have, the
less on-call time there is for us. One of the perks of owning the place you know." I
paused. "And it's time to hire another psychiatrist. Our patients need that, and
Jasper would want me to stop stalling, get my butt in gear and hire someone," I
added quietly.

Her hand cupped my cheek. "I'm so proud of you, Edward."

"I couldn't do this without you, Bella. And I'm looking forward to having you in the

building every day. I can see more of you."

She snorted. "You may get tired of me."

- 274 -

"Never. Not even a possibility." I nibbled on her ear. "Besides, if you're in the

building that means more fresh cookies for me."

She snuggled closer, chuckling. "Always thinking ahead, aren't you, Dr. Cullen?"

I grinned. "Yep."

Two months later…

The house was still in the early dawn. I was grateful the night was over, and I was

home. It had been a busy night again, but Jake would take over now. We were lucky
enough with the practice to only be on-call every few weekends now, with the other
doctors in the practice taking turns as well. But, with the large amount of patients
the practice handled when we were on-call it was always busy and I found it easier
at times to simply stay at the hospital, rather than everyone being disturbed as I
came and went.

Quietly, I made my way down the hall to check on my family. I smiled as I looked

down at Emma, sleeping soundly in her usual curled up fashion, both her cats
draped over her as well. Leaning down, I brushed a kiss on her forehead. I grinned
when I finally located Emmett at the bottom of his bed, sprawled out under his
blankets. Gently, I moved him back into a normal place on the bed and tucked the
covers up around him. He grumbled under his breath but stayed sleeping even as I
kissed his downy cheek, inhaling the scent of bubble bath, laundry soap and little
boy.

I stood in the doorway of our room, looking at my sleeping wife. The early

morning light filled the room highlighting her hair and face in a rosy glow. Disrobing
quietly, I slid into bed with her, reaching over and pulling her to my chest, sighing
happily at the sense of completion I always felt when I was with her.

"Hey," she mumbled sleepily. "You're home."

I kissed her forehead. "I am. Go back to sleep. I want to get a few hours in and

then spend the day with my family. We're going to the shelter, right? To look at a
dog for Em?"

"Yes. He is very excited. He was literally bouncing off the walls all day."

I chuckled. "Then my son and I will be happy. He gets his dog and I get the day

- 275 -

with my lovely wife and family."

Her arms tightened. "We yike dat."

I smiled at her teasing and felt her grow heavy as she slipped back into sleep. I

looked around our room, small glimpses of our full life all over it. Emmett's soccer
uniform, Emma's dance shoes and one of my lab coats lay across a chair. Bella's
laptop sat perched on the edge of her dresser. Pictures and drawings were tucked
into mirror frames, hung on the walls and sitting on various surfaces. All around us
were small images of our family, our love and our happiness.

Happy described our life together. What had started with a desperate hope to get

my daughter to speak again had ended up with a life of joy and peace. Even the
tragedy of losing our friends had brought yet another layer of love into our life. I
glanced down at Bella's sleeping face. It all stemmed from her. Her quiet caring
ways had given me back my daughter and taught me to love and trust again. She
made this house a home and three lost souls a family. Her very presence completed
us. Gently, I stroked my finger down her cheek.

My Bella, my wife.

The centre of my universe.

Her hand drifted up and clasped mine.

"Stop looking at me," she murmured softly. "Go to sleep."

"So bossy for such a little girl," I whispered as I leaned in and kissed her.

She smiled as she opened her eyes. "Are you talking back to me, Dr. Cullen?"

I pulled her closer. "And if I am?"

"I'll give you a time-out."

My lips rained small kisses up her jaw to her ear, as my hands delved under the

shirt she was wearing, finding her warm skin and gently caressing it. "I like your
time-outs. They usually involve your lips," I growled quietly, suddenly filled with
desire. "And some sort of…enjoyable... punishment."

Bella pushed at my chest and rolled over, straddling me. Leaning down she gazed

at me. "You're just not gonna behave are you, Dr. Cullen?"

- 276 -

I shook my head as I grinned. "Nope."

"I knew you were trouble the moment I set eyes on you."

I reached up and cupped her face, bringing her close. "I knew I was going to love

you the rest of my life."

Her eyes softened as she gazed down at me. "Edward."

I brought my lips to hers, kissing her deeply. Showing her how much I loved her.

The still of the morning surrounded us as our tongues met again and again, swirling,
touching, tasting. Hands swept gently on skin as fingers moved and caressed warm
bodies. Her sigh was quiet when she pulled back.

"You need sleep," she whispered.

"I need you more."

"I'm yours, Edward. All in. Always."

I rolled us, hovering over her. Her eyes were filled with love and the promise of

forever. I looked back at her seeing my entire life with her reflected back at me. By
her side, where I was meant to be. Lowering my head, I grazed her lips.

"All in."

In all our lifes, sorrow comes. Edward and Bella lost their friends, but

gained another little person to love. It was hard to write but it was how I saw
things happening.

Liz and Midnight - thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work

and constant support.

Thank YOU again for reading and your words.

It is with a sad smile I mark this one complete. I do plan on a future visit

though...

A new fic is in the works... make sure you have me on author alert. Teasers

and pics on my FB group page - EdwardEternal's Love of Words. Come join
us.

- 277 -

Until next time, be safe! ~EE

- 278 -

Chapter 39

For Katalina, because you asked. I am so honored. This is the out take

referred to at the end of chapter 29 of the story. I hope you enjoy.

Thanks to Liz for prereading and MidNight for her betawork. Lady V made

the banner which is on my group page on facebook. Thanks so much!

"What have you done, Edward? Where are we going?" Bella asked; her voice

somewhat nervous.

I pulled her a little closer into my side as we continued to walk slowly forward.

"Trust me. You'll like this."

"First, you say we are having a late dinner. Then you ask me to put on my

jammies, blindfold me and tell me we are going somewhere, which is obviously out
of the house. In my jammies, Edward. I'm in my jammies. Not sure how me liking
this comes into play," she huffed.

Grinning, I bent down and kissed her nose. "I'm in my jammies too. Patience."

When we reached the sliding door, I frowned. Bella wasn't the steadiest on her

feet, even on a flat surface. I wasn't sure how she'd do blindfolded and walking over
uneven ground. Bending over, I scooped her up into my arms, grinning at the little
surprised gasp that escaped her lips. "Hold tight, QB," I whispered into her ear
before stepping outside and walking over to my surprise. For a minute I stood
silently, just holding her and enjoying the feeling of having her close. I so wanted to
give her this night. I watched as she caught the aroma of the burning wood from the
fire pit in front of us.

"Why do I smell a wood fire?"

"Maybe 'cause we're standing in front of one," I chuckled. "Take off your blindfold,

Bella." Her hand reached up and snagged the blindfold off and her reaction was
everything I hoped for. She clapped her hands as she surveyed the scene in front of
her. "Oh, Edward!"

In front of us was a crackling fire, burning in its contained pit. Beside it were two

stools to sit on and a large blanket for sharing to stay warm. Two coolers held drinks
and her favorite treats she had talked about. I had a few candles burning in lanterns

- 279 -

which cast a warm glow around the edge of the camping area. Not far from the fire,
was a small tent set up, which contained a blow-up air mattress and a double
sleeping bag, ready for us whenever Bella was tired.

I lowered her back down on her feet as she looked around. "I don't understand?

What is this for?"

I smiled as my fingers drifted along her cheek. "I wanted to give you a special

evening. I thought maybe you'd like a camp night like you told Emma and I about at
dinner a couple weeks ago. I thought we could have our own 'warm memory night'
to share." I smiled nervously. "I hope I got everything right."

Turning, she threw her arms around me. "It's perfect. Thank you," she whispered

against my neck.

Wrapping my arms around her, I held her tightly. "I want to give you all your good

memories over again, Bella. I want to share them with you. And make new ones, just
for us."

She pulled back and looked around, grinning widely. Going over, she peeked into

the tent and checked out the fire and little camping stools beside it. "Well, there
were always two sleeping bags with my dad," she deadpanned. "But I suppose I can
make do with sharing only one with you."

Leaning down, I picked up one of the coolers. "I brought s'mores stuff for you," I

grinned as I waggled my eyebrows. "Surely that should help make the task
somewhat more…acceptable?"

"Melted chocolate and marshmallows always make everything better, Edward."

I held out my hand, laughing. "Come sit with me and I will feed you."

Smiling widely, she sat down next to me. "You have a feast hidden somewhere,

Edward?"

Grinning, I opened one cooler and pulled out a package of hot dogs and presented

them to her with a flourish. Reaching down, I handed her one of the long skewers.
"Your favorite, I believe you said?"

She laughed and grabbed the skewer. "There had better be mustard," she warned

as she threaded a couple of hot dogs onto the long blade and held it over the fire.

- 280 -

"Pfft. I listen to you," I huffed and brought out the bottle.

Leaning forward, she kissed me warmly. "You do, Edward. And you use what you

hear so well. Thank you for this." She paused, her eyes shining in the firelight. "I
love you."

I kissed her again. "I love you. Now, get cooking our dinner, woman."

She snorted. "These are mine, Edward. Cook your own."

I gaped at her. "But I only have two skewers. One is for marshmallows!"

"This is camping, Edward. You reuse your skewer after for dessert."

I frowned. "I'm not sure that is completely sanitary, Bella."

She laughed and picked up the bottle of mustard. "Neither is this, Dr. Cullen," she

chuckled as she squirted mustard on the one end of the rather crispy hot dog she
had been holding over the fire and bit into it. She smiled widely. "But it's tasty."

I had to laugh as I watched her. She was utterly adorable. I grabbed my skewer. I

was hungry and she was right. It looked tasty.

Replete, I sat back and watched Bella assemble another one of her s'mores. "I

can't believe you can eat another one of those," I teased, as I added another couple
of logs to the fire and placed the protective dome on the top.

"Says he who ate six unsanitary hot dogs," she laughed.

I chuckled. "I forgot the buns. I had to fill up on something."

"Dishishwatyoufillsupon," Bella mumbled and grinned around another mouthful of

her sweet treat.

I laughed. "I won't ask you to repeat that." I leaned forward. "But I think I deserve

a bite."

Bella looked at me, and then the last bite of her s'more, her lips twisted with

indecision. She sighed and leaned forward, offering me the gooey tidbit. I opened
my mouth to take it and suddenly she whisper-yelled, "Psyche!" Grinning, she pulled

- 281 -

back and popped the morsel in her own mouth, chewing quickly, as I glared at her.
Then she proceeded to lick her fingers as she watched me.

"Not funny, Swan. That was the last one."

"I'll make it up to you."

I sniffed. "Not sure you can."

Suddenly, she was on her knees in front of my stool, her hands wrapped around

my neck, pulling my face down to hers. I felt her silken tongue trace my bottom lip
and with a groan, I opened my mouth for her and instantly forgot about the stolen
s'more. Her kisses were so much better. Passionately, her tongue dipped and
stroked inside my mouth and I pulled her up against my chest, my hands delving
under her shirt to her warm skin. The usual sweetness of her mouth was heightened
with the flavor of the chocolate and marshmallow and I groaned lowly as the flavor
burst in my mouth. Minutes passed before we broke apart, both of us gasping for
air. Cheekily, Bella grinned up at me, her hand gently stroking my face. "How was
that for making it up to you?"

I shrugged. "Meh." Then, grinning, I leaned forward, kissing her softly. "You, my

girl, are far sweeter than any dessert known to man. I'll take your kisses any day." I
sat down on the ground behind her, pulled her between my legs and wrapped us
both in the blanket, enveloping us in soft warmth.

"This is the best evening, ever, Edward."

I pulled her tighter to my chest and we sat quietly, watching the flames. The

evening air around us was cool, but wrapped up together we were both warm, happy
and content.

"We should do this with Emma."

I nodded against her head. "We will. She would love it." I chuckled. "Well, the

roasting and eating junk food part and giggling part. Not sure how much she would
love the sitting and being quiet part. Not anymore." I paused. "Thank God."

Bella's voice was soft. "Tell me about her when she was a baby, Edward."

I drew in a deep breath. "I fell in love with her the instant she was born. I know

babies aren't supposed to see when they are first born. But she opened her eyes and
I swore, Bella, she looked at me. She saw me."

- 282 -

"She knew you were her daddy," she whispered.

I smiled against her head. I liked to think so.

"She was such a good baby. She hardly ever cried. I loved everything about her.

How she smelt and felt when I held her. How she looked as she was falling asleep.
How she blinked like a little owl when she woke up. Her sweet smiles and the little
sounds she made, especially when I talked to her. I loved spending time with her,
watching her start to discover the world around her. She made me see things
differently."

"How?"

"I don't know," I replied thoughtfully. "Like they were new again. The wonder on

her face when she discovered something for the first time…it just made me see
things in a new way. I loved hearing her laugh and coo and how excited she got
when I would come through the door." I paused with a smile. "She would gurgle and
pump her fat little legs and throw her arms up like she was reaching for me to pick
her up." I sighed quietly. "She always made me feel so loved."

"She still gets excited when she sees you, Edward."

"She made me a better person, Bella."

"I think you already were a good person."

I squeezed my arms in a silent hug of thanks. "Maybe. But I wanted to be more for

her. Growing up, I was always Esme & Carlisle's son, Edward. Then when I went to
medical school I became Dr. Cullen to people. To Tanya I was…well…nothing. But to
Emma, I was her world. And I wanted to be a better doctor to make her proud. To be
able to take care of her. I wanted to be a good father."

"You are a good father."

I kissed her head. "I'm getting better at being both a good dad and a good partner,

I think."

Her hands squeezed mine. "You are...definitely."

"What was your childhood like?" she asked after a few moments of quiet had

descended.

- 283 -

"Pretty normal, I think. Happy. My parents were pretty well off, but we lived a

fairly average life. I went to public school, had to work for my allowance, follow the
rules, be polite. I was lucky though and Mom didn't work outside the house, so she
was there when I left in the mornings and got home from school."

"Ah, no Busy Bees for you?"

I leaned down and nibbled softly on her neck. "No, I was waiting until I grew up

for that pleasure." I grinned as she shivered and I pulled her closer. "Cold, QB?"

"No," she whispered breathlessly and I smirked.

"What about you?"

"Well, we didn't have a lot of money, but we were happy. I mean, I never did

without, at least that I ever realized. There was lots of love and I think that's all that
mattered really." Bella sighed against my chest. "Mom worked part-time at the
library and Dad was the Chief of Police. When I was old enough, I babysat." She
chuckled. "I babysat a lot."

"You always had a mothering instinct, didn't you?" I whispered tenderly.

"I think so. I loved looking after children. Being with them. Playing with them. I

loved seeing them smile and be happy." She paused briefly. "I never liked school
much. I never fit in. Unlike so many of the other kids, I loved learning and reading.
But not the dramas that went on around me, which only got worse as I got older. All
the backstabbing and fighting and clichés." She turned her head and glanced up at
me. "I was never in the popular groups at school. I was considered too different. But,
when I was with children, they loved me, for me. Their affection was honest and
real. I could laugh and be silly with them and not be made fun of for it. My parents
never pushed me to be anything but me. They realized I preferred the company of
children over kids my own age, and as long as I was happy they were okay with
that." She was quiet as she glanced down. "I never stopped, even after I started
dating Mike. He liked kids as well and even helped out sometimes." She smiled shyly
as she tilted her head back against my shoulder and looked at me. "All that
babysitting paid for my education."

My fingers traced down her cheek as I imagined a teenage Bella, happily

surrounded by her little playmates, loving them with her warm spirit, and the
thought made me smile. Another image came to mind, of her at school, the odd one
out. Never quite fitting in. I hated that thought and I leaned down and kissed her
gently.

- 284 -

"I wasn't in with the popular kids either."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

I shook my head. "Bella, I was this tall when I was thirteen. I wore glasses. I was

skinny and shy. I did a lot of volunteer work. I had friends but none of us were with
the 'in crowd'. We hung out, played video games and went to a lot of movies."

"Huh."

"What?" I teased. "You thought I was always this handsome and debonair?"

Bella tried to cover her snort with her hand, but I caught it, and growling, I

grabbed her around the waist, tickling her as she giggled. She twisted and
squirmed, trying to get away from me and I turned her, pushing her to the ground
carefully, holding her hands over her head and hovering over her as she gasped in
breathless laughter.

"I'm hurt, Bella," I whispered as I lowered my head, nibbling on her neck. "You

don't think I could have been a sexy teenager?"

"I'm sure…you were…adorable." She breathed out the words through her giggles.

"Adorable?" I grumbled into her neck. "Men don't like to be called adorable,

Bella."

"I'm talking about when you were a boy."

I huffed against her neck and felt her shiver as my breath drifted over her. "I

doubt I was adorable, even then." My tongue traced the shell of her ear. "What
about now, Bella? Am I adorable now?" I grinned against her soft skin. "Or
just…sexy?"

"Well, um, sometimes, yes, you are adorable," she whispered.

I drew back. "When?"

"When you're playing with Emma. You lose yourself with her and I love watching

you."

My breath caught. I did love playing with Emma and making her laugh. I shrugged

sheepishly. I guess I didn't mind being adorable if Bella liked it. Grinning, I told her

- 285 -

so.

She leaned up, her mouth just barely touching mine. "I do like you adorable at

times. But, you're also incredibly sexy and hot, Edward. I really like you like that…"

I covered her mouth with mine, groaning at the contact. Every time I kissed her, I

felt that rush of desire. I could never get enough of feeling her lips moving with
mine; of her taste or how responsive she was to me. My tongue caressed hers
gently, savoring her sweetness. I lowered myself down, pressing my body against
hers. Bella's arms tightened around my neck and a low moan came from her throat.
For several minutes, nothing existed but her and I. Aside from our passionate sighs,
the crackle of the fire beside us was the only sound. The heat from her body was all I
could feel. The taste and scent of her was all I was attuned to. I pulled back, looking
down at her, and as her passionate gaze locked on me, I gently traced her lips with
my fingers. "I love you, Bella."

Her mouth curved up into that smile. The one only I ever saw. Warm, sexy and

loving. Her eyes were filled with promises of the future. Our future. They regarded
me with such intensity, it took my breath away. "I love you, Edward. So much."

Teasingly, I leant down and nipped on her chin. "Given our current position, that

is a very good thing, Ms. Swan."

I smiled at her shy giggle, and I rolled over, drawing her back against my chest.

The ground beneath us was cold, but the fire kept us reasonably warm, and I liked
lying in front of it with Bella. We were quiet for a few minutes. "The fire is dying. Do
you want me to add some more logs?" I murmured, "Or, do you want to go to bed?"

She shook her head. "I want to stay here."

"Okay." I threw another log on the fire, and then lay back down and pulled her

tightly against me, wrapping the blanket snugly around us, against the cooling night
air. As long as she was here with me, I was fine with more campfire story time.

"Tell me more about you, Edward." Her voice was quiet, her hand stroking mine.

"When did you decide you wanted to be a doctor? Did you always know?"

I rested my chin on her shoulder. "No. When I was younger I wanted to be

Superman."

Bella giggled. "Lofty ambitions."

- 286 -

I nodded. "I know. I wasn't happy when I realized it wasn't gonna happen."

"Did it just hit you one day?"

I sighed dramatically. "No. It sort of came to me painfully."

"Oh?"

"I, ah, tried jumping off the roof, wearing my Superman outfit my mom had made

me for Halloween. I saw the neighbour's cat in the tree and I was sure I could swoop
down and rescue it. My dad had been cleaning out the gutters and left the ladder up
while he went inside for something. I climbed the ladder and took a running leap." I
paused and shook my head. "I was sure it was mind over matter. If I concentrated
hard enough, I could fly like he did. You know, 'able to leap tall buildings in a single
bound' sort of thing."

"Oh, Edward."

"The cape too," I mused. "Mom had said something about it being magical. I may

have taken that too literally."

Bella dissolved into giggles, her shoulders shaking with mirth. "Your poor mom."

I snorted. "My poor mom? I was the one who had a concussion and a broken arm

and spent the next few months in a cast."

"I'm surprised you weren't even more injured than that."

"Well, turned out the cape was rather magical. It caught on the branches of the

tree and helped break my fall. Unfortunately, the material wasn't meant to hold the
weight of a seven year old hanging from a tree branch indefinitely and it tore and I
fell before anyone could get to me."

I leaned over against her ear. "Scared the damn cat so badly, he fell out of the

tree though. Mission accomplished. Superman to the rescue."

Bella's giggles turned into snorts of laughter.

"Your parents must have freaked out."

I nodded sadly. "I wasn't allowed to be Superman anymore. Or go on the roof. And

I think I was grounded for a while."

- 287 -

"Literally, I imagine."

I nipped her ear playfully. "Think you're clever, don't you?"

She tilted her head up. "Pretty clever. I got you, didn't I?"

I kissed her warmly. "You did indeed. Now be quiet and let me finish my story."

"Sorry, Clark Kent."

"So, the day of the flying incident…"

"Or the crashing incident is more like it."

"Bella," I growled and she stifled her laughter.

"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted," I sniffed, "I had to be taken

to the hospital. And the doctor there was just…amazing. He knew all about
Superman and all the other super heroes and he talked to me about them as he
examined me. He explained everything he was doing and how the X-rays worked just
like Superman's special vision and answered all my questions as he set my arm. He
even made the cast blue and red like Superman for me. He was such a great guy and
he kind of became my newest hero." I chuckled. "He even convinced my parents not
to be so hard on me."

I felt her smile against my arm. "So you decided to become a doctor like him?"

I nodded. "We sort of bonded that day and as strange as it sounds, we became

friends. He was like a surrogate uncle to me. He became friends with my parents
and spent a lot of time with us. He stayed at the hospital and became head of the
ER. I bothered my mom so much she finally allowed me to become a volunteer on
the weekends and I did that all through my teens. At first all I did was visit the kids
on the wards and take them comics or read to them, but eventually I began
volunteering all over the hospital. I spent hours with Aro listening to his stories and
soaking up all his knowledge. He always had time for me." My voice became softer.
"He once told me he had lost his son when he was around my age. I think I sort of
helped fill a void in his life."

"You've never mentioned him before. Is he…still alive?"

I shook my head sadly. "No. His wife left him after they lost their son and he spent

all his vacation time volunteering in places that needed doctors desperately. My dad

- 288 -

and I even went with him to Africa once when I was older. The experience changed
me forever, I think. I can't even describe how profoundly it affected both of us," I
sighed. "He was killed while in Africa by a roadside bomb. He was doing what he
loved best; helping people, making their lives better. He died just after I got into
medical school." I was quiet for a minute. "I still have the letter he wrote me when I
called him to tell him I had been accepted. It's one of my most treasured
possessions."

Bella turned in my arms. "He would be so proud of the man you have become,

Edward."

I smiled down at her. "I hope so."

Her hand cupped my cheek. "I know so."

I nuzzled her palm. "I always wanted to make a difference for people. To help

them." I paused. "Not on the same level as Aro. He told me once I was too emotional
to go to places like Africa or the Middle East. That I needed to devote myself to
those who needed me closer to home. And he was right."

Bella's voice was soft. "He never had a home after he lost his son and wife,

Edward. He coped by giving his life to those less fortunate. That was his way of
dealing with his loss. And you were no doubt a wonderful gift in his life. He saw the
ability you had for wanting to help on a different level." She smiled gently. "He
sounds like he was a brilliant, wonderful man."

"He was. I still miss him. He was a friend, a mentor and my family, all rolled into

one."

"Will you tell me about Africa?"

I kissed her forehead gently. "I will. But not tonight."

Her fingers ghosted over my cheek. "I didn't mean to make you sad."

"You didn't," I assured her. "I want to share everything with you. I want you to

know me, Bella. All about me. And I want to know all about you. But I don't want to
discuss Africa tonight, please? It would be…too much, right now."

"Okay," she smiled sweetly. "Why don't you show me how Superman kissed Lois

Lane then?"

- 289 -

I grinned. That, I was happy to share.

"It's late," I murmured against Bella's head. "We should move into the tent. The

fire is almost out and it's getting cold."

She nodded drowsily against my chest. "Okay."

We sat up and I felt her shiver. "Did you want to go inside? It's colder than I

expected."

She shook her head. "Then all the work you did for camping night is for nothing.

I'm sure you can figure out a way to warm me up, can't you, Edward?" she
whispered playfully.

I grinned and stood up, pulling her to her feet. "I somehow doubt that the kind of

warming up I have in mind was ever part of your other camp out nights, Bella."

She smiled up at me. "Neither was making out by the fire. I am kinda liking these

new additions."

I pulled her towards the tent and we both scrambled to get into the sleeping bag

and out of the cold night air. I threw the warm blanket we'd been cuddled under
over top of us for added comfort. The air mattress provided some cushioning from
the hard, cold ground, but compared to the plush mattress I knew was inside the
house, it was a poor substitute. My back was already sore from lying on the
unyielding ground for a short period of time. I groaned.

"What?"

"I think I'm too old for camping out, Bella."

She laughed. "My Dad was way older than you, Edward. And he did it."

I pulled her against me. "Well, I'm man enough to admit your dad is probably a lot

tougher than I am."

She tilted her head up towards me, her eyes dancing. "Do you really want to talk

about my Dad right now, Edward?"

"No," I growled. I covered her mouth with mine, happy to continue the Superman

- 290 -

kissing lesson from outside. I loved kissing her. The warmth of her responses always
brought out a desire I had never experienced before with another person and filled
me with passion. This time was no different and as our tongues swept together, the
heat between us grew quickly. The chill of the sleeping bag and hardness of the
ground under us no longer registered. All that mattered was the woman in my arms,
and how she felt clasped against me and tasted as my tongue explored her
sweetness. Soon, the sleeping bag felt too constrictive as our hands began moving
against each other, and gentle, cautious caresses grew bolder as our need for each
other became acute. I felt Bella tugging on my shirt and I sat up, regretfully
breaking away from her lips as I pulled the shirt over my head, gasping as the cold
air hit my skin. She sat up and I quickly helped her discard her clothes and then
hovered over her as she lay down, her hands pulling my sweats down as I nestled
between her legs, the warmth of her soft skin welcome against my own. I pulled the
down-filled sleeping bag around us, wanting her to feel only the warmth of the
blanket and the heat of my body pressed against hers. Her hands reached down,
stroking my throbbing erection and I groaned as my head fell against her neck, my
fingers digging into the blanket under her.

"Bella," I groaned, my voice aching with desire.

Her hands continued to stroke me as my lips sought her fragrant skin, tasting and

nipping, my tongue swirling moist patterns on her collarbone and breasts. She
gasped and arched into my mouth as my lips tugged gently on her nipple, rolling the
hardened nub around on my tongue before slowly drifting to the other side, leaving
a damp trail between her breasts with my open mouth. My hand slipped between us,
finding her hot centre and stroking her tenderly as she raised her hips, a soft cry
escaping her lips as I teased and caressed her.

"Now, Edward…please," she whimpered and she wrapped her legs around me,

urging me forward. My breath escaped in a long hiss as I slowly sunk into her, the
overwhelming feeling of completion once again rolling though me as we were joined
in the most intimate of embraces. My mouth sought hers and our hands entwined
over her head and I began to move within her slowly at first, then building into a
steady, deep rhythm as we rocked and moved together. Blistering heat shot through
me as I felt my release building and I shifted slightly, changing the angle of my
thrusts, wanting Bella to come with me. She gasped my name loudly, her hand
tearing itself from mine as she gripped my shoulder, keening softly and shuddered
around me. My free hand pressed deeply into the mattress as my body began
shaking and my orgasm tore through me. Her name ripped from my throat as I
thrust powerfully, emptying myself inside her, but then both of us stilling suddenly
as a loud pop exploded by our heads. The mattress we were wildly writhing on
exploded and almost instantly I felt the hard ground against my knees as it quickly

- 291 -

deflated under us. I stared down at Bella whose startled eyes were huge in her face.

"Whoops," I grinned. "I think I broke it."

A smile tugged at her mouth. "You don't know your own strength there,

Superman?"

Reaching down with my hand, I tenderly stroked the hair away from her damp

forehead and kissed her. "You okay, QB?"

"Better than the air mattress."

I laughed. "Guess I owe Jake a new one."

Bella snickered. "He won't let us live this down, you know."

Bending down, I kissed her deeply. "So worth it."

Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me down to her. Gingerly, I settled my

weight on top of her, knowing how she liked to feel me against her. After a few
minutes I rolled to the side, pulling her close. Without the protective layer of the
mattress the cold quickly seeped through the sleeping bag and even wrapped up in
my arms I felt Bella shiver. I sat up and grabbed my shirt, and reached around under
the sleeping bag to find my sweats and yank them on, then kneeled and gathered
her up into my arms.

"Edward? What are you doing?"

I kissed her. "New memory, Bella." I half stood and maneuvered us out of the tent

before striding quickly towards the patio doors. "Camping night is done. It's now
warm shower, then comfy non-exploding mattress time."

She laughed. "I'd be fine, Edward."

I shook my head and paused outside the door, setting her on her feet and opening

the latch. I lifted her inside. "I can't stand the thought of you cold or uncomfortable,
Bella." I grinned. "And I am not done with you, so the hard ground is not an option."
I kissed her. "Go start the shower and I will be right there. I just want to make sure
the fire is out and I'll bring the coolers in."

Her arms wrapped around me before I could move.

- 292 -

"Thank you, Edward. I loved it all; the fire and the memories and especially the

exploding mattress, or at least what led to the exploding mattress. I loved sharing
the evening with you like that, getting to know you even more. I can see how you
became the wonderful man you are today." She paused, her eyes glinting softly in
the dim light. "And I love how you care for me."

I kissed her again, sweetly. "We'll do it again. Together, and with Emma. We'll

make more warm memories. But I'll buy a sturdier mattress."

She grinned and winked. "You'd better find an industrial strength one, then." She

turned to head to the bathroom. "Hurry back, I'll be waiting…in the shower."

I stared after her, then ran and quickly grabbed the coolers and sleeping bags

then dumped them inside, once I made sure the fire was indeed out. I grinned as I
locked the door. I wasn't really upset over the demise of the air mattress. As far as I
was concerned, it had been a pretty perfect evening. I had made her happy with the
camping theme. We had shared parts of our lives with each other which brought us
even closer. I had made her smile and laugh. I had made love to her and now I was
going to join her in the shower and then settle her back into, what I now thought of
as our comfortable bed, and do so again. And, this time I could take my time and not
worry about anything other than her and the feelings she stirred in me.

I grinned as I made my way towards the sounds of the running water.

And another warm memory in the making.

Ah, Daddy/Docward. Love him. Hope you enjoyed. Happy New year to you

all... be safe!

- 293 -

Document Outline

Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
Summary
1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
3. Chapter 3
4. Chapter 4
5. Chapter 5
6. Chapter 6
7. Chapter 7
8. The First Meeting BPOV
9. Chapter 9
10. Chapter 10
11. Chapter 11
12. Chapter 12
13. Chapter 13
14. Chapter 14
15. Chapter 15
16. Chapter 16
17. Chapter 17
18. Chapter 18
19. Chapter 19
20. Chapter 20
21. Chapter 21
22. Chapter 22
23. Chapter 23
24. Chapter 24
25. Chapter 25
26. Chapter 26
27. Chapter 27
28. Chapter 28
29. Chapter 29
30. Chapter 30
31. Chapter 31
32. Chapter 32
33. Chapter 33
34. Chapter 34
35. Chapter 35
36. Chapter 36
37. Chapter 37
38. Chapter 38
39. Chapter 39

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