Hate to Love You

Lily Ryan

Hate to Love You

First printing, 2019
Copyright © 2019 by Lily Ryan
Cover art copyright © by Imagination Uncovered

Cover photograph copyright © Imagination Uncovered
Book design by Lily Ryan
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission
of the publisher.

The persons and events portrayed in this work of fiction are the creations of the
author, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Publisher’s Note: The author and publisher have taken care in preparation of this
book but make no expressed or implied warranty of any kind and assume no
responsibility for errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for incidental or
consequential damages in connection with or arising out of the use of the information
contained herein.

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For

My precious daughters. The world is your

playground. Trust your gut. You’ll know true love

when it shows its face and settle for nothing less.

Chapter 1

Samantha

“Samantha!”
I keep going as if I didn’t hear my name.

Cold and wet, I climb the wooden steps of the
swing set. I hug my arms around my knees, sit and
shiver, taking shelter from the falling rain.

“Sam, what the hell?”
I look up and lose myself in a set of blue

eyes as never ending and deep as the sea. Familiar
eyes I dream about every night. Tumultuous eyes,
stormier than the dark grey skies above us.
Lightening zigzags in the background. Thunder
cracks hard and loud making me jump.

“Why didn’t you stop when I called?”
I shrug my shoulders and sniffle, trying to

stop the damn tears I don’t want him to see.

“Samantha?”
I should answer, say something, but I can’t.

Words are lost. I hug my knees and curl myself into
a ball.

Much too big and strong to be doing so,

Cole climbs the steps of my childhood swing set.
He squeezes through the clubhouse entrance and
sits next to me with his back against the wooden
slats. Gathering me on his lap, his chest heaves with
each breath. I look at his face and examine him
closely.

My heart flutters.
“Ssh. It’s going to be okay. I’m here,” he

coos.

I’ve longed for this moment.
He opens his arms, beckoning me to move

closer to him. I scoot over. Cole slings his arm over
my shoulder and holds me. I lay my head against
his chest and close my eyes. He’s holding me! I
can’t believe he’s actually holding me.

I wished for this. Dreamt of it. For days.

Nights. Years. Here I am in his strong arms,
touching him. Breathing in his clean spicy scent.

“You know you can talk to me.”
I used to be able to talk to him. I haven’t

talked to him about anything that really matters in
over a year. Besides, I don’t want to talk. I want to
touch. To explore him. Run my hands over the
curves of his muscles.

My chest tightens with these thoughts. I

don’t dare move my hands. I’m afraid if I do, he’ll
pull away and leave. My moment will be gone
forever.

I meet his stare again and wonder if he

could read the thoughts racing through my mind. I
can’t tell. I have no idea what he’s thinking, but the
charge in the air between us is thick. Heavy.

His lips inch toward mine. OMG! I hold my

breath. Ohmygod, ohmygod! Is this really
happening?

He stops. Hesitates. NO!!!
I don’t know how to get his lips back where

they were a second ago. I'll lose my mind if he
doesn't kiss me. Right now!

My heart pounds harder than a kick drum. I

stare into his heavy lidded eyes. Smoldering blue
eyes framed by the longest, thickest lashes I've ever
seen. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Literally,
the man of my dreams. At least since he kissed me
on the cheek for my twelfth birthday.

Everything about him is perfect; the way he

looks, the way he moves, the way he tells a joke.
And the hot-as-fuck way his eyes seduce me. Right
now, I’m thinking impure thoughts of him, and
those eyes are my inspiration.

His warm breath tickles my lips. I will him

to inch forward, but he doesn't. His thumbs brush
away the traces of my salty tears, before he cups
my face in his rough hands.

Kiss me! I silently scream. I'm tired of

forcing myself to ignore my feelings and pretend
they aren’t there. I don't want to any longer. I clasp
my hands at the base of his neck and lean into him,
trembling.

He stares into my eyes. The look on his face

. . . it’s tender and full of surprise. He acts as if he
sees me for the first time.

“You’re so . . . beautiful,” he says, stroking

my cheeks with his thumbs.

Our lips meet.
This is so happening!
His mouth is every bit as soft and inviting as

I imagined. A loud whirring sounds in the air
around us. I’m not sure if it’s the wind whipping or
the excess blood shooting through my veins.

His strong hands move down my back and

pull me close, press my body against his. I clench
his shirt tight. So tight my fingers lose feeling.
Warmth bred of need and desire radiates between
us.

I need him closer.
He deepens the kiss as he guides me down

to the wood slated floor. The kiss turns passionate.
Demanding. My life went from shit to perfection in
a heartbeat.

I can’t believe I'm lying beneath Cole

Andrews! If a bolt of lightning shoots down from
the sky and strikes me dead, I’ll die happy. He's on
top of me, blanketing me. Sheltering me. I close my
eyes and savor each touch.

I knew he liked me! No matter what anyone

else said, especially my know-it-all brother. I
waited a long time for this moment. Cole’s hungry
mouth breaks from mine only to take a breath
before reclaiming my lips. Hard.

His hand slides up the side of my leg, over

my clothes to my stomach, then up to my breast.

“Oh, God, yes!” I cry.

My back arches to his touch. Who cares

that we’re in my back yard and my father or
brother can come out at any moment? Who cares if
the world sees? This is better than my wildest
fantasies and I don't want it to stop. Ever.

His tongue tangos with mine in a sexy dance

of dominance. I’m dizzy, breathless, as I enjoy the
intense pleasure of his mouth and hands. It's a while
before Cole pulls away, but when he does, it’s like
someone slashed me with the jagged edge of a
broken glass bottle.

I grab his shoulders and pull him back to

stop the free fall I’m in. He gives in easily. We’re
right back where we were a moment ago. In lock
step. I lift the hem of his shirt. Again he pulls away.

With closed eyes and heavy breathing he

shakes his head. I don’t know why he's resisting.
He wants me.

He has to know I want this. I want him, too.
Cole pushes himself up to a sitting position

and helps me onto his lap. His hands move to my
head as he searches my face. He doesn’t speak, but
flames burn in his eyes. He pulls me against his
chest, cradles me, like I’m something dear and
precious to him. I hear the quickened pace of his
heart.

Thump. Thump. Thump.
After a few breaths, he glances down, meets

my eyes. Fire shines in his. I shift on his legs, and

turn my body to face him. Straddling his lap, I lean
in to kiss him once again. His hands run across my
back as our tongues twist and twirl together. His
hands drop to my thighs, moving up and down my
legs.

"Cole," I whisper.
"Oh, God, Sam." His voice is low. Raw. "I

wanted to kiss you for so long."

"Then why didn’t you?”
"Tyler."
Why’d I ask?
“He’s going to go ape shit. You’re his little

sister.”

“And you’re his best friend. He’ll get over it

He’ll probably even be happy.”

I lean in again. I want more. Being in Cole’s

arms makes the world right. It pushes my problems
away. I forget about seeing my father kiss his
secretary when I stopped by his office earlier today.
I push seeing my ex-boyfriend kiss a guy less than
an hour ago from my mind. Turns out I was his
fucking beard. Only he never bothered to tell me.

“No.” He closes his eyes and rubs the back

of his neck. “He won’t. This is wrong.”

“Forget Tyler.” I lean in again. He allows

our lips to come together once more, but he’s
hesitant and keeps this kiss a lot more controlled
than the previous ones. Still, I feel it in my chest. In
my belly. Between my legs. Cole's hands move up

to my face again as he leans his forehead against
mine.

"We need to stop." He whispers.
"No we don’t." My lips meet the warm skin

of his neck. This is the only thing going right today.

I hear the sexiest sound ever leave his

mouth. Sort of a moan, sort of a growl. It
encourages me to keep up my oral assault.

"Samantha, please. We can't do this. We

have to talk."

I ignore him and find a strong dose of

courage. I bring my hand down in his lap. What do
I have to lose? My dignity? It’s already gone. I
place my hand there and squeeze. I can tell from
the groan deep in his throat and the look of ecstasy
on his face, he likes it.

“We can do whatever we want,” I whisper.
He shuts his eyes and takes a breath before

grabbing my hands and entwining our fingers so I
can't touch him. "You have to stop.”

“I don’t want to.”
“Please. If you only knew how long I’ve

wanted you. Fuck!” He yells. The unexpected
sound startles me. "Samantha. Something's wrong."

"A lot’s wrong. But I don't want to talk

about it. I thought that was clear."

A strangled sound comes out of his mouth,

but he doesn't release my hands. "You’re not okay
are you?"

I let out a frustrated sigh. "Better now."
He smooths my hair, "Doug do something?"
I whimper. An actual pathetic fucking sound

comes out of my mouth when I hear my ex’s name.
I’m afraid if I tell Cole what happened he’ll never
look at me again the way he is right now.

“Come on,” he says dipping his head so that

he could lock his eyes on mine. “You know you can
tell me anything.”

I used to know that. I used to tell him all the

silly details of my life just as an excuse to talk to
him.

“Did he hurt you?”
“Depends on your definition of hurt.”
Every muscle of Cole’s hard body tenses.

He sits straighter, holds me tighter. “I swear, if he
laid a finger on you, I’ll kill him. Do I need to go
fuck him up?” His voice is menacing.

I shake my head. “No. I just want to forget

him.”

“Please, Sammie, tell me what he did?”
I shake my head. “I’d rather just disappear."
He lifts my chin with his index finger so I

meet his stern eyes. "Don't. Ever. Say. That.”

“Why? It’s not like anyone will even

notice.”

“A lot of people would notice. I’d notice.

Now, tell me what happened. Maybe I can help.”

I shake my head.

“C’mon, Sam. Let me be here for you.”
I take a deep breath and lean my head on

Cole’s shoulder. He’s never held me like this and I
don’t know if telling him will help keep him in
place or send him running off. It’s been a long time
since he’s taken an interest in me. He’s been
distant. Especially lately. The older I get, the more
he seems to ignore me.

"Everything is so fucked up. Apparently

Doug’s gay.” I wipe at my eyes with the back of my
hands. “Which if he told me or I had a clue, it
would be fine. But he didn’t. He used me, that
fucker. I was just a diversion. Until he was ready to
“come out.””

“When did he come out?”
“Tonight. At the bonfire by the lake. He

kissed his best friend Marcus in front of everyone. I
was only a few feet away. He didn’t even bother to
warn me. Everyone saw, and this bitch Callie
jumped all over it. She started going off on how he
only asked me out because I’m so ugly I look like a
guy. And that even another guy is a better fuck than
me. I’m the laughing stock of the whole town.”

“You know none of that’s true, right?” Cole

forces a smile which only makes me feel worse.
“She’s only saying that because she’s jealous that
you’re so much prettier than her.”

He strokes my back as the tears fall and my

body shakes with sobs I’ve been fighting to keep in

all day. He thinks I’m crying over stupid Doug and
Callie. That’s fine. I can’t tell Cole about my father.
Not before I confront him. I don’t know what it will
do to my mother if she finds out.

“Your words are meaningless. You don’t

even know what she looks like.”

“Doesn’t matter. I know you and how

beautiful you are. Any girl trash talking you like
that is jealous.”

I can’t bring myself to speak. I want to

believe him, but this is Cole Andrews. Even though
we just kissed with desperation, I can’t believe he
thinks I’m pretty, let alone beautiful. I shake my
head.

“For the record, the guy is a dick. I don’t

know what you saw in him anyway.” Cole shakes
his head. “I never liked him.”

“Wish you would’ve told me a few months

ago. I didn’t even think you noticed I was with
him.”

“Of course I noticed. I had to stop Tyler

from kicking his ass. Several times.”

That’s why he noticed. Because of my

brother. Not because he was jealous or gives a fuck
about me.

Cole sighs and rubs the back of his neck.

“That didn’t come out right.” He brushes a stray
strand of hair out of my eyes. “What can I do?”

“Tell me how the hell I’m supposed to show

my face around here. I’m humiliated."

"You have no reason to be, He’s the one—”
“You don’t understand. It’s not him. It’s the

Callie bullshit. On top of all that, no one ever asks
me out because of Tyler, and now I find out the
only reason Doug did is because he never wanted
me. He’s fucking gay.”

“Samantha, look at me."
Cole crooks his finger under my chin and

lifts it for me to meet his stare. I don’t. I can’t bear
to look at him. Why did I share one of the worst
moments of my life with the guy I most want to
hide it from?

“Forget I said anything.”
"I can’t. Sammie, listen, I’m not the best

person to talk to about this, because I’m biased.”

“What the hell does that mean?”
He lets out a long breath. “It means, all I

can think about is going after Doug, because he
hurt you, and any guy that hurts you deserves to
have the shit kicked out him. But more than beating
the shit out of him, I want to lay you down again
and kiss you. And the way you’re looking at me
right now, if I do that, I don’t know that I have
enough control to stop myself.”

“Why?”
“Because I want you. I want you more than

I’ve ever wanted anyone.”

Tears prickle the back of my eyes because I

can’t think of one thing better than the scenario he
just laid out and yet he’s acting like everything he
just said is bad.

“Then kiss me. Touch me. I’m yours.”
He shakes his head. “Sam—"
“Please, Cole.” I bite my lip. “I want you to

be my first.”

I recognize that if he rejects me I’ll never be

able to face him again. On the other hand, this is a
once in a lifetime chance, and if I don’t lay it out
there I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.

His eyes drop. I’m losing him.
“You’re the perfect person to get it over

with. I trust that you won’t hurt me. I mean in a
kinky psycho sort of way, and I know you won’t
humiliate me in front of the whole town.”

“Sam.” His voice is low, sad, and there’s a

slight shake to his head. “This shouldn’t be
something you do because you want to get it over
with.”

“Don’t.” I sniffle.
“It wouldn’t be right—”
“Don’t you dare sit there and tell me how

you’re letting me down for my own good.”

“You don’t understand. It wouldn’t—”
“Come on, Cole. I’m the only fucking virgin

I know. Probably the only one my age on the
fucking planet. I need to know that there’s some
guy in the world that wants me like that.”

“Trust me, there are a lot of guys that want

you like that.”

“I get it.” I sniffle. “You’re just not one of

them.” I pull out of his arms and scoot off his lap.

“Sammie, Sweetheart. You’re only

seventeen.”

“Yes, but I’m about to turn eighteen, and

I’m leaving for college in less than two months. I
can think and act for myself and if I want to have
sex, I can.”

“Yes, but us having sex right now would be

wrong. No matter how much I want you.”

"Why?" I meet his still stormy eyes.
He strokes the side of my face. “Because

you’re upset and hurt. And so vulnerable.” There’s
a deep, guttural sound to his voice.

"Whatever.”
“Sam, you’re rebounding. Anything you do

right now is aimed at hurting Doug.” He closes his
eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t
want to be the guy you have sex with to get it over
with or because your ex is a douche.” Something
heavy weighs in the air. It’s as if he wants to say
more. He doesn’t. He leaves it right there.

He should only know this isn’t just aimed at

hurting my ex. I want to hurt all the men in my life.
Doug for being a shit. My father for being a lying
cheat. My brother for being an overbearing jackass.

Most of all I want to do this right now

because I want Cole. I’ve always wanted Cole and
if his words and kisses mean anything, I want Cole
to get a taste of what he’s missing. Of what we
could have.

“And there’s Tyler.”
“There’s always Tyler. He’s always there,

scaring all the guys away. Or are you going to tell
me your gay, too?”

“No, Sam, it’s just that Tyler . . . Tyler! Fuck!”

He holds his head between his hands. “How did I
let this happen? I never should’ve kissed you!”

“What?” He drives a knife into my heart.
“Sam, I’m sorry. This is a huge fucking

mistake.”

“A mistake?” Did he actually say that? Is

he fucking kidding?

“God, Samantha, we need to get to the

hospital. Tyler! That’s why I’m here. Why I was
waiting for you. When I saw you, and you were
upset . . . I’m so sorry. We have to go.” He
scampers to the ladder. “Come on.”

His words sink in. Tyler. Hospital. He

wasn’t asking me if I wanted to talk earlier, he was
telling me something. At least trying to, but I
wouldn’t listen. Fear settles into my bones, making
me shiver.

“Cole, I’m scared.”

“I know.” He jumps out of the clubhouse and

extends his hand to me. “Trust me. Everything’s

going to be alright.”

Chapter 2

Cole

We walk hand in hand to my car in silence.

My heart races so fucking hard and fast. I kissed
her. After a year of thinking about it and imagining
it, I finally bucked up the nerve and kissed her. It
was everything I imagined and then some.

Her lips, her body, they’re soft. Supple. I

didn’t want to stop. I don’t know how I pulled
myself off of her. I could’ve gone for days before
taking a break. Her tongue met mine and moved in
perfect unison. Like her sweet mouth was made for
me.

Thinking about that skilled mouth, I have a

triple X vision of Sam on her knees running through
my head.

This is so fucking bad!
I press a button on my key fob, unlock the

car doors and hold hers open. She takes a peek at
me and hesitates. I wonder what’s going through
her mind. Does she hate me for what just went
down? I couldn’t help kissing her. It just happened,
and before I knew it, a taste of her warm, delicious
mouth wasn’t enough. I needed to feel her curvy
body beneath me.

Like a jackass, I took advantage of the

situation. I’m pissed at myself. I wanted to help, to

hold her until whatever hurt was better. This was
my opportunity to do that; to be there and comfort
her. Normally I keep my distance, because Tyler’s
around. He’s always watching, breathing down our
necks.

"What’s wrong with my brother?”

Samantha’s trembling voice breaks through my
thoughts.

The sound squeezes my chest. I want to

take that fear, that uncertainty, away. I want to hold
her, and kiss her again until the world and everyone
in it disappears. Until nothing exists but the two of
us.

She shivers and rubs her hands up and down

her arms.

“He’s okay. I mean he will be.” And I just

made things a whole lot worse by hitting on you. I
reach into the backseat, grab my sweatshirt and
hand it to her.

Sam pulls the hoodie over her head and

hesitates before getting in. I’m sure she’s just as
aware as I am that this is the first time she’s getting
in my car. The first time in a year that we’re
spending any time alone together. That’s on me.

Truth is I’ve been avoiding her. I’ve been

keeping my distance from my best friend’s cock-
blocking kid sister since she got those damn braces
off and the little baby fat she had shifted to her tits
and ass. Since then, our easy going, playful

relationship changed because in an instant she
morphed from Tyler’s kid sister, into the girl I want
but can’t have.

*

“Hey, Ty, I’m waiting in the living room,” I

yell up the steps, as I head toward the couch.

Bam! Something hits me in the face. It’s not

hard, just unexpected.

“What the fuck?”
Laughter. A girl’s laughter. It’s Tyler’s

bitchy sister Sam. She does anything she can to
annoy me lately. She’s lucky she’s not my sister,
because girl or not I’d be beating the shit out of
her right now.

“You think that’s funny? Blindsiding me

like that?”

“No.” She shakes her head, and struggles

to keep from laughing. Even though I’m pissed, I
can’t help but notice how adorable she looks. “I
know it’s funny. Damn funny.” She swings at me
again, teasing me, taunting me with her laugh and
sparkling eyes.

“Oh yeah?” I lunge toward her and grab

the pillow from her hand mid-strike. Leaving her
defenseless. There’s a twitch in my pants. I reach
for a second throw pillow and use them both to hit
her, alternating the assault from left to right.

“Stop!” She yells, through a fit of giggles,

holding her arms in front of her face to defend

herself.

“Oh, no! You asked for this! You wanted

me, you got me.” A quick shift of my weight in her
direction and she leans back. I take advantage of
my position and straddle her, pinning Sam beneath
me. “You’ve been begging for me to take you down
a notch all freaking week.”

Another twitch, and I’m a breath away from

sporting wood.

For a split second she stops laughing. Her

eyes grow wide with fear. Is it because she feels the
change in me? Shit, did I just cross a line? I need
to apologize.

Staring down at her, I’m frozen, lost in the

green of her eyes. The color of her iris is bold and
darker than normal. It’s the green of jade stones.
The colored flecks are vibrant and never-ending.

And her lips. How did I not notice these lips

before? She’s not wearing makeup but they are a
deep shade of pink. They contrast perfectly with
her creamy skin. These damn pillowy lips call me
to kiss them. Beg me to take a taste. If I dip my
head down just a little further . . .

I hear a noise. A throat clears. It’s not

coming from either Sam or me. Out of the corner
of my eye I see Tyler and the dark look on his face.
I don’t know how long he’s been standing there, or
how much he saw, but I turn my head enough to
notice his death glare focused on me. I’m in deep

shit trouble.

I climb off the girl that’s too young for me

and rub my neck. “Next time don’t fucking hit me!”
I say, with my voice too gruff. I sound angry, not
playful, and the smile on her face disappears. It’s
replaced with sadness.

Shit. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I can’t

console her now. Not with her brother watching my
every move.

I don’t know what happened, why my dick

jumped to life or why I wanted to kiss her. She’s a
kid. A tomboy I used to play catch with in the back
yard and help catch frogs at the lake. All I know is
from here on out, I need to stay the hell away from
Samantha Stone.

*

I peek over at the passenger seat to make

sure she’s okay. Sam’s eyes are downcast. Her
fingers poke out of the too long sleeves of my
sweatshirt. She wrings her hands in her lap and
picks at her nail polish. She’s nervous. Me too.

I look at her face for a second before

turning back to the road. Even rain soaked and tear
stricken, she’s gorgeous.

And young, I remind myself. Too fucking

young to have her heart destroyed by some jack-off
who’s not sure if he’s into guys or girls.

Too young for me.
Knowing that she’s willing to let me look

and touch doesn’t help one bit. No, I’m fucking
semi-hard when my head should be one hundred
percent focused on driving and not on how much I
wish I could pull over and finish what we started.

I want her with a desperation I've never felt

before. It's like my body knows it can never be
satisfied until I have her; until I've touched and
kissed every inch of her skin, until she screams my
name so loud the windows rattle and the earth
shakes.

It's like she's a disease, a poison running

through my veins, and the only way to survive her,
is to have more of her; to have all of her. Maybe
that’s how I get her out of my system once and for
all.

If I had any doubts before, tonight is proof

that I need to keep away from Samantha. It’s the
first chance I had to get close to her with no one
looking, and what did I do? It took a whole thirty
seconds before we made out hot and heavy, right in
the open where anyone could see. And then feeling
her body under me, I almost came in my pants.

So much for semi-hard. My dick could

smash diamonds right now. This is bad. So, so bad.

I FUCKED UP!!!
Tyler’s going to kick my ass. Nah, an ass

kicking is too kind. He’ll kill me if he finds out.

“Are you going to tell me what happened to

my brother?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. He and Caitlin were

out."

“They’re back together? I swear those two

go back and forth like a yo-yo.”

“Yeah, sort of. They were at a party and

Tyler got pissed at her and left. At least she thought
he did, but she found him half an hour later passed
out by his car.”

“Ohmygod! What happened?”
I go rigid. I hate being the one to tell Sam,

but I’m the only one here. The only one that even
thought someone should be there to tell her in
person when she got home instead of a in a text
message.

“Most likely what he smoked didn’t mesh

well with the alcohol and oxy.”

“WHAT?” She’s shocked. I can’t blame her.

He did a great job of hiding most of what he’s been
doing, I knew about the weed. But the rest of it? I
can’t believe we’re talking about the same Tyler
I’ve known all these years. “Tyler’s on drugs?”

I nod. “Looks that way.”
“Since when does Mister-keep-your-nose-

clean-or-else-I’ll-kick-your-ass do drugs?”

I shrug and let out a long breath buying

time. Tyler made me swear not to tell anyone, but
the points moot now. Everyone knows about this
hiccup. At least they will by this time tomorrow.
He’s going to have to own up to his shit.

“He’s been pretty fucked up the last few

months.”

“As in stoned?”
“No. I mean, yes, I guess. But it’s because

of his emotional situation.”

“Whatever. He did it to himself with all this

Caitlin drama. I hate her. He’s so miserable since
she came into his life. He never let a girl toy with
him like this. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong
with him.”

“Sam.”
“No. She’s like a leech he can’t peel off.

She dangles him from a string, calling and texting
him all the damn time. And he doesn’t do anything
to stop it.”

“What do you want him to do?”
“Ignore her.”
“You think that will solve all the problems?

Just pretend she doesn’t exist?”

“Yes.”
I peek over at her through the corner of my

eye. “He can’t. There’s a lot going on between
them.”

“It doesn’t matter what’s going on. Either

he loves her and they work their shit out, or he
should break up with her for good. And that means
cut her off cold turkey.”

“It’s not that cut and dry.” Here comes

another bomb. “At least not since he found out

Caitlin was pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” Samantha’s mouth drops. “Are

you fucking kidding? Is that why he’s been so
unbearable? Why he freaked out every time Doug
picked me up?"

I nod. “Yes. But, there’s more. Caitlin had

an abortion before he even knew about it.”

“No!” Samantha covers her mouth with her

hand.

“She was acting strange and he knew she

was hiding something. Honestly, your brother
thought she was cheating on him. That’s why he
broke up with her. She claims the break-up spurred
the abortion. He’s drowning in guilt over it. How
was he supposed to know? I mean she never even
hinted that she was pregnant.”

“Then how’d he find out?”
“She called him crying when she woke up,

after the fact. It wrecked him.”

“What a bitch!”
“They’ve been trying to work through all

this. That’s why they’re on and off.”

“It’s her fault!”
I nod. “I know. She’s racked with guilt and

wants him to say it’s okay and forgive her. He
won’t because he’s angry and feels betrayed. The
real kicker is that through all of this they say they
can’t walk away. They claim to love each other,
and want to work through this.”

“That’s not love. That’s just, I don’t know,

not being able to let go.”

“Maybe. It’s hard to say. I’ve never been in

his shoes and hope to God I never will be.” A
heavy quiet settles between us before I speak again.
“Sammie, I know you love your brother, and you
want to support him,” I squeeze her hand, “And
you have your own shit going on. But Tyler and
your parents need you to be strong right now. Think
you can do that?”

I glance over to check on her and she’s

looking at me with narrowed eyes.

“What?”
“I don’t believe you!”
I’m clueless. She’s suddenly annoyed with

me and I’m not sure why.

“This is why you’re being so nice to me?

Why you acted like you gave a shit and kissed me?
Because I need to hold my shit together and you
feel bad for me?” The words are spit at me with
acid.

My stomach sinks. “What? No!” She can’t

possibly believe that. Can she? “I didn’t act like I
give a shit. I care about you. I want to make sure
you’re okay.”

“Whatever.” She shakes her head and looks

out the window.

“Not whatever. I care, Sam.” I squeeze her

hand again. “I mean I’ve known you since you

were what, ten?”

“Maybe that’s the problem.”
She lost me. I get what I told her is tough to

digest, but she’s making leaps and bounds that just
aren’t making sense.

“What problem?”
“You said you made a mistake. That’s your

problem.”

“I’m sorry. I crossed a huge fucking line. I

already said I shouldn’t have kissed you. I don’t
know what more to say.”

“Because it was a mistake?”
Why the hell is she so stuck on that word? I

don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t lead her on and
let her think there can be anything more. Besides,
she’s rebounding. That’s all I am to her, just a guy
to help her move on to the next one. A guy she can
use to tell her how beautiful and desirable she is.

She doesn’t realize that I have feelings for

her. That the reason I haven’t dated anyone
seriously over the last year is because I can’t get
her off my fucking mind. None of the girls compare
to her.

Maybe once things settle down with Tyler I

can talk to him. Convince him that I have genuine
feelings for Sam and promise to be good to her.
Until then, I can’t add to his shit. I need to be there
for him. And her. That means Samantha is off
limits.

I nod, feeling like a fucking coward because

it’s all I can do.

“Asshole,” she mutters under her breath.

“Do you know how long I wanted that? Imagined
one day you’d realize you loved me and kiss me the
way you did? Like I am the air you breathe? Do
you even care that I still have the scent of you in
my nose? Or that my body still aches for you,
everywhere?”

Her words fill me with a strange warm

feeling. But they also scare the shit out of me. She’s
over emotional from the night. She doesn’t mean
what she’s saying. She can’t.

“Sam, I’m sorry.” I let go of her hand.
“I don’t want you to be sorry.”
I don’t answer. I can’t. Any way I go is a

trap. I want her. I care about her. Did she just say
love? She can’t love me. She’s just out of high
school. And . . . love? That’s what’s destroying
Tyler. I’m not going to hop on that fucking train. Oh
hell no!

I pull up to the emergency room entrance

and let her out. "I'll be in as soon as I find a spot."

"Don’t bother. Since I’m a mistake, I

wouldn’t want you to compound kissing me with
acting like a friend, or even a decent human being."
She slams the door, turns and walks away.

*

I make my way past the moaning group of

people waiting for care, over to Samantha. Her
head is down. Chocolate waves cascade over her
shoulders as she picks at her purple polished nails.
She’s been doing that so much tonight I’m surprised
she has any left on them.

I stop and look at her. Look at her the way

I’d look at any other pretty girl that catches my
attention and not my best friend’s sister. I’m blown
away. If she were anyone else, I’d pursue her with
everything I’ve got.

She’s still wearing my hoodie. It looks good

on her. Like she should always be in it. A
possessive feeling I never had before overwhelms
me. I feel like as long as she’s wearing my
sweatshirt, she’s mine. Off limits to the rest of the
world. And I like it.

“Hear anything?” I say slipping into the

hard, plastic chair beside her.

“He’s stable. They won’t let me back,

though. I don’t even know why I’m here if I can’t
see my brother,” she complains, keeping her eyes
glued on her fingers.

“Do your parents know you’re here?”
“I messaged my mother.”
“I’m here for as long as you need me.”
“I don’t need you,” she snaps and looks

directly at me. “I’m not your fucking charity case!”

Sam’s pissed. That comes across loud and

clear as she gets to her feet and takes a seat on the

other side of the room, as far from me as she can
get. The problem is, she’s drawing the attention of
everyone around us. That’s the last thing either of
us need.

I feel the weight of the surrounding stares. It

feels like every eye in the place is on us. After a
minute, I join her on the other side.

“Why are you following me? Can’t you

take the hint? I don’t want you here!” Her voice is
loud and now everyone isn’t just looking. They’re
listening too.

“I’m sorry, Sam.”
With an ache to touch her again, I rest my

hand on her knee. She looks down at my hand as if
it’s the most horrifying thing she’s ever seen. I think
she’s going to get up again, or slap me. Or just yell
at me to fuck off. Instead, her face softens. With a
long breath and a soft sigh, her posture relaxes.

"Thank you for driving me here."
“Of course.”
"I'm sorry I snapped.”
“It’s fine.” I reach my arm around her

shoulder and pull her close. “I want to be here for
you.”

“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
"Cole, I need to know,” she turns her head

to me and we’re face to face. Our lips almost touch.
We're so close, if either of us leans in an inch, we'll

kiss. It takes every ounce of self-control to keep
that from happening. “Is this about Tyler, and you
being a good friend to him? Or is there any part of
you that’s trying to comfort me for other reasons?”

I take too long to answer. Her creamy

cheeks turn crimson and her eyes glass over. I’m in
so deep over my head I don’t know what to do. A
tight swirling takes over my stomach as I focus on
her heart shaped lips. God, do I want to kiss her.

I can’t go there again. I shouldn’t. I turn

away.

"Never mind. I didn't mean that . . .”
“Yes,” I clear my throat, getting a hold on

my emotions. “You did.”

“No.” She shakes her head and shrugs out

of my hold. “It didn’t come out right. I just meant .
. ." she babbles, trying to get herself out of it.
“Please, forget I said anything.”

“Yes.”
She nods and lets out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” She looks down at the floor. A heavy
silence falls between us again. True to form, I can’t
leave well enough alone.

“Yes. I’ll do whatever I can to be a good

friend to Tyler. He’s my best friend and he needs
the support right now.”

“I understand.” Her voice cracks. She

presses her lips into a thin line. Her large eyes
water. I want to make it better. Take all the sadness

away.

“And yes.” It’s hard to get the words out

because I know there will be a hefty consequence
to them. “There’s a large part of me that wants to
comfort you for other reasons.”

Her eyes open wide in surprise, as if she

doesn’t believe her ears. I want to prove to her she
heard right and kiss her here in front of everyone.
But I can’t. If there’s a chance at anything for us,
and I act on it now for the world to see, it’ll blow
up in our faces.

I cover her hands with one of my own and

keep my voice down so only she can hear me. “I’m
here for you. I want to be the one you turn to, Sam.
The guy that makes you smile and wipes away your
tears.”

“Oh, Cole!” She throws her arms around

my neck and holds me tight for a long moment.

When I pull back, she smiles and her eyes

are lit. The wet tears she was about to shed shine
and sparkle in her large green eyes. I love that I’m
the cause of it, and I hate that they’re about to
change.

“The thing is,” I pull away and rub the back

of my neck. “The timing isn’t right.”

“I don’t care about the timing.”
“I do.” I do my best to keep my voice

down. “Even if it’s a cold day in hell and Tyler
gives us his blessing, you’re a lot younger than me.

Your father will have my balls. Especially right
now.”

I can see the sting of my words and I hate

myself. She shakes her head and closes her watery
eyes.

“He won’t. He likes you.” she says, in an

excited tone.

“Yes. As Tyler’s friend. Not the guy that’s

dating his daughter.”

“It’s okay, Cole. My parents will be okay.

We’ll make them understand.” I see the hope in her
eyes. Hear it in her voice.

I shake my head. “I don’t think so. But,

Sam, I do care about you. A lot. And I can’t stop
thinking about kissing you. I wish I could do it
again.”

“Nothing’s stopping you.”
I run my pointer finger down the side of her

flushed cheek. “You know that’s not true.”

“You know what I think, Cole Andrews?”

She moves as far away from me as she can while
staying seated. “I think you took some of my
brother’s shit, and now that you’ve sobered up,
you’re coming up with one excuse after another to
pretend that for five minutes tonight, you didn’t
want me.”

“No. Samantha.” I lean in and take her chin

between my thumb and forefinger. I stare into her
eyes. “I’m stone-cold sober,” I say, firmly, hoping I

can to get through her thick skull. “And I wanted
you. I still do.”

“Prove it.”
She stands and walks out the ER. Out of the

revolving glass door. I want to rush out there after
her. I want to apologize and kiss her silly showing
her exactly how much I do want her. Instead I stay
glued to my seat and let her go.

Chapter 3

Samantha

It takes about two minutes before the

drizzling rain turns into a downpour. I hoped Cole
would follow me. If he meant what he said he
would’ve come after me. He didn’t. He stayed right
where he is.

Like I said earlier, if I disappeared, no one

would care. Everyone around me is too engrossed
in their own world, and I don’t seem to fit into any
of it.

I hug my arms around myself. Even though

I’m wearing his sweatshirt, there’s a coldness
coming from inside me. Mix that with the rain and
I’m a ball of goose bumps. Rain wasn’t in the
forecast for tonight. Then again, tears weren’t
either. Just when I think the rain can’t come down
any harder it does.

My phone buzzes. I don’t bother looking at

it. It’s either my best friend Abby who’s been
texting me since I left the bonfire, or my mother. I
don’t feel like speaking to either of them.

I know I’m acting like a brat. Too bad. Too

much happened. I need some distance from
everyone while I process it all. Then I can decide
how I’m going to first, deal with Callie and the
poisonous shit she’s saying about me. Second, if

I’m going to rat my lying, cheating, womanizing
jerk of a father out. And finally, how I’m going to
handle the Cole situation.

I touch my still swollen lips as I replay the

night in my head: kissing Cole, and getting dizzy
from not being able to breathe. Cole wiping my
tears away. Confessions I made to the guy I’m head
over heels in love with.

Oh no! Did I let that slip?
I said I wished he’d realize he’s in love with

me. Same shit. It’s not a far leap for him to realize
that’s because I’m in love with him. God I wish I
could go back a few hours and sew my mouth shut.
What the hell was I thinking?

Shit! I threw myself at him!
No it’s worse than that, I practically begged

my brother’s best friend to . . . what exactly? To
kiss me. To touch me. To have his way with me. I
asked him to be my first.

And he said no.
Not once. Not twice. At least three times he

rejected me. Alone and in front of a room full of
strangers. Well, maybe not full but there were other
people in the waiting room.

Forget figuring it out. I can’t face him ever

again. I can’t look into his blue eyes, or touch him.
Not even a simple pat on the back. His very thick-
corded-with-muscle-back. I’ll have to make a point
to avoid him. At all costs.

Fucking wonderful. He’s probably laughing

at me right now, just like everyone else in this
stupid town. I’m so fucking done here. Done with
all these petty people that whisper and laugh behind
your back.

I can’t wait to go away to college and leave

the whole judgmental lot in Bakersfield. They all
think they’re better than everyone else. Until a
rumor starring them is spread. Then they fall on the
sword for a day or two depending on how fast they
can turn the spot light onto another unsuspecting
victim.

My ringtone sounds through the heavy

pelting of raindrops against the ground. Guess who
ever is trying to reach me gave up texting and
decided to call. I glance at my screen to see who it
is. Abby. I’m not ready to speak to her. Or anyone
for that matter.

I shove my phone back in my pocket. I

shiver and look around me. I’m half way home.
How the hell did I get this far? I’m too far to turn
back, but home is still a good ways away. I
should’ve stayed at the hospital. Then at least I’d
be warm and dry. And I’d still be with Cole.

“Sam!”
I close my eyes and tell myself to stop

thinking about him. Stop wishing Cole would come
after me.

“Samantha!” His voice is louder this time. I

turn my head toward the street. The window of
Cole’s black sports car is down and he’s driving at
the same slow pace I’m walking at. I stop. So does
the car.

I shouldn’t let him see how weak I am when

it comes to him, but I can’t will my feet to move
forward. The hazard lights blink as Cole gets out. I
take a deep breath and swallow down the lump of
emotion in the back of my throat.

I stand frozen. Mute. I watch him move.

Stare at his tall athletic frame as he comes around
and approaches me. I’m mesmerized as the rain
soaks his t-shirt, causing it to hug his broad
shoulders and hard chest.

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t touch

me, but I feel him nonetheless. I’m confused. I
don’t know why he’s here, but the fact that he is
lifts my spirits. Neither of us move for a few long
moments. Minutes maybe.

He reaches for my hand and my stomach

does somersaults. He followed! He couldn’t let me
walk away.

“Your parents have been calling you.” He

tugs on my hand and leads me to the passenger side
of the car. “They came out to let you know what’s
going on. I lied and said you went to get coffee.”
I’m not sure what he’s getting at. “Anyway, they’re
going to be at the hospital all night with Tyler. They
want you to go home.”

Hope swells in my chest as he opens the car

door for me. “Can you ask your friend Allie—”

“Abby.”
“Can you ask Abby to stay over tonight?”
The air gushes out of my lungs, the way it

escapes from a blown out tire, fast and furious. I
knew I shouldn’t get my hopes up.

“Yeah, sure.” I say, not moving to get in.
“Sammie,” he says my name with so much

emotion, I can’t help but wonder what’s going
through his head at this moment. He takes a step
closer to me. I see fire in his eyes. The same fire I
noticed earlier in my clubhouse.

His lips part as he cups my cheek in his

hand. The hot, smoldering look in his eyes has my
heart racing. I stare, into his blue orbs unable to
move as a drop of rain drips off his long, dark
eyelashes. I think he might kiss me again, and I wait
for it. I hold my breath, waiting for his next move
until his eyes dart away. There’s a slight shake of
his head and the outline of his jaw grows tight.

“C’mon, let’s go.”
That’s not what he wanted to say. But I’m a

sucker for him and can’t find it in me to say no. I
get in the car and pull my seatbelt over my
shoulder.

“Are you texting Allie?” Cole shakes the

excess water out of his hair with his hands.

“Yes.” I force my eyes off of him and the

sexy way he moves. I pretend to type a message.
I’d rather be alone tonight, thinking of Cole, than
stuck with a babysitter. Even if said babysitter is
my best friend.

We don’t speak again. Silence creeps in

around us and fills the air. It’s uncomfortable.
Heavy. The exact opposite of the drive to the
hospital. I reach over and put the radio on just to
hear something besides the pumping of blood in my
ears. Anything.

Just my luck, it’s a slow, mushy love song. I

swear this this night is going to be the death of me.

*

Cole parks in my driveway. I expect he’ll

pull away the second I’m safely in my garage. He
doesn’t. He cuts the engine and flips his headlights
off. Confused, I stand still and stare, until he joins
me.

“Why do you look surprised?” He asks,

with a panty melting grin.

“Because I’m home,” I answer, walking into

the kitchen. “And you’re still here.”

“You’re home alone.” His eyes twinkle with

mischief. “Where else would I be?”

“I don’t know.” I turn and take a few steps

away from him. “Home. Meeting up with a girl.”

“Meeting up with a girl?” he growls, using

my arm to turn me around. “Is that what you
think?” His eyes lose the playful glint they held a

moment ago. They’re fiery. Angry. “That I’d kiss
you, then go off and be with someone else?”

I swear my neck hurts from the major case

of whiplash from this boy.

“Honestly, I don’t’ know what to think. I

mean kissing me was a mistake, so . . .”

“Never mind.” He sounds annoyed. “I’m

just waiting until Allie gets here.”

“Abby,” I correct for the millionth time.
“Abby,” he snaps back.
“Seriously, Cole, you don’t have to stay.”
I don’t understand him. One minute he

wants to be my hero, the next he’s too virtuous to
get involved with me. I wish he’d stop with the
mixed signals.

“I don’t want you to be alone. All right?

You had a rough night.” He kicks his shoes off and
sets them down by the door leading from the
kitchen to the garage.

“So?”
“Tyler’s not the only one that needs

support.”

“You really want to be the one to support

me?” I question with a raised brow.

“I already answered that at the hospital.”

His eyes shift down before meeting mine again.
“Look, if you don’t want me here, I’ll wait in my
car—” He turns his head and takes a step toward
the door.

“I want you here, you jerk.” I pull on his

still damp t-shirt and give half a smile. “I’m just not
sure you want to be alone with me.”

Everything changes with that simple truth.

The air in the room sizzles.

“I can’t think of any place I’d rather be.”
Cole smiles. My heart beats so hard I feel it

in my ears. Feel it in every cell of my body. I forget
every negative feeling I’ve had tonight. They’re
wiped away. Erased. I watch the rise and fall of his
chest for a few breaths before he speaks again.

“Besides, we won’t be alone for too long.

Allie’s coming, right?” He asks, with a smirk.

“Nope.” I challenge his resolve, wondering

if my confession will send him running. “I never
texted her.”

“But I told you, your parents don’t want

you to be alone.” His voice trails off at the end.
“And neither do I.”

“Well then, guess you’ll have to make a

choice. Leave me alone. Or it’s you and me. All
night long.”

Yes, I said the last part suggesting a whole

lot. I just don’t know if he picked up on my subtle,
or not so subtle innuendo.

“Trying to frighten me, little girl?” He takes

a step closer and crosses his arms over his chest.
His blue eyes shine and sends me heart into a
frenzied rhythm. Oh yeah, he picked up on what I

said.

“Not at all.” I flutter my eyelashes at him.

“But, you never know what might happen. I mean,
what if I attack you?” I place my hands on his chest
and back him up against the wall.

“I’ll use my superpower to stop you,” he

grabs my wrists.

“And what’s your superpower?”
“With you, princess, it’s this.” In a swift

move, he spins us around, pins my arms above my
head and leans his chest against mine so that I’m
pressed into the wall.

We stare at each other, frozen. I pull in a

stunned breath.

His eyes drop to my lips. Questions race

through my mind, but my mouth won’t move. His
hooded eyes are a dark shade of blue, I’ve never
seen. Sapphire blue.

They stare down at me, hot and hungry. My

lips part to speak, but it’s no use. Before I could get
a word out, his hands reach under my hair, and his
mouth covers mine.

Cole trails soft kisses across my jaw, to the

area behind my ear. I’ve never felt my heart beat so
hard and hurried in all my life. Every touch, every
brush of his lips makes my skin tingle and my toes
curl. I moan and whimper holding him tight.

His hands travel down my neck, and cause

tiny bumps to cover my skin as his mouth meets

mine again. Demanding. Dominating. Full of
passion. Cole releases my hands and cups my ass,
pressing his hips into me.

“Sam?” My name is a breathless whisper on

his lips.

Even though my insides quiver and I’m not

one hundred percent certain that my legs will hold
me up, I nod, and give him permission to take
things further.

His hands crawl up my lower back, under

my shirt. With a feather light touch, his fingertips
graze over my skin moving to my stomach and then
up to my breasts. His hands warm me and leave an
electric trail in their wake.

“Cole wait!” Pulse racing, heart hammering,

I push against him.

He backs up and meets my eyes. There’s

something unfamiliar there. It takes a heartbeat to
recognize uncertainty and fear.

“I’m sorry. I went too far—”
“No!” I take his face between both of my

hands and give him a quick kiss on the lips to stop
him from speaking before he says something I don’t
want to hear. “I just . . . I need to know, if
something happens, are you going to regret this?”

His lips press into a thin line. “Nothing has

to happen, princess. I don’t mean to pressure you.”
Cole places a gentle kiss on my lips.

“That’s not what I asked. And why do you

keep calling me princess?”

He smiles. His eyes are full of emotion.

“Because, that’s how I see you. As my princess. Is
that okay?”

I think of all the times I traded my fancy

dresses for sweats and jeans so I could play in dirt
with my brother and his friends. I swapped glitter
for mud and repressed my girly instincts to tag
along because it bought me time with my brother’s
best friend.

It paid off, too. Instead of avoiding the

slimy frogs, Cole helped me catch them. I had his
attention. Mission accomplished. The only problem,
I worried my plan would backfire. In being one of
the guys, I feared he’d never see me as a girl.

I nod and run my hands under his shirt, up

to his chest. His skin is warm and hard with a light
sprinkle of hair on it. His heart pounds beneath my
palms. It’s beating just as hard and fast as mine. I
close my eyes and soak in the moment.

I’ve wanted to touch him like this since I

was thirteen and he tossed his sweat-drenched shirt
off while playing football with my brother in the
backyard. Cole developed faster than the other
boys. His upper body boasted lean muscle and
definition while the other boys looked like they had
sticks for arms.

It was the first time I remember getting a

nervous tumbling in my belly from seeing a boy

with his shirt off. Especially one my brother’s
friends.

“Tell me to stop . . . and I will.” He trails

kisses from the top of my head down the side of my
face. Weak in the knees I lean into the wall for
support. “Or, if you want me to leave . . .”

“No.” I pant, and use the belt loops on his

jeans to pull him closer, keep him near. “I just . . . I
don’t want to be a mistake.”

He freezes. Pulls back to look at me and

cups my face in his hands. There’s a slight shake to
his head as he speaks. “No, Sammie. You’re not a
mistake.” He wraps me in his arms and it’s the only
place I want to be. Smoothing my hair and kissing
the top of my head he speaks softly. “I’m an
asshole. It came out wrong. I was upset with myself
because I want to be here for you, but like right
now, I couldn’t keep my hands off of you. This isn’t
what you need. I’m not what you need.”

“You. Are. Exactly. What. I Need.”
He furrows his brows considering my

words. “It would hurt, Sam, in a way that would
really fuck me up, if something happens between us
and you regret it. If you wake up tomorrow and
hate me—”

“I won’t. I’ve wanted you for a long time.”
I reach for the bottom of his shirt and pull it

up. Cole raises his arms and lets me slide it over his
head. I feel empowered with this little bit of

control.

“Not as long as I’ve wanted you.”
I smile. This can’t be real. I don’t really

believe him, but I’m not going to let my insecurity
ruin the moment.

My hands, followed by my eyes, slide over

Cole’s taut skin. A yearning so foreign it terrifies
me, shoots through my body. It's overpowering. I
can't see beyond this need for every single part of
my body to be touched by him, inside and out.

“Nothing has to happen, Sam. We can stop

right now.”

I don’t speak. Instead I unbutton Cole’s

jeans. He covers my hands with his own, stopping
me. I look up and meet the scrutiny of his pointed
stare. The moment is heavy.

“Cole, I want this.”
"Are you sure, princess? You seem

nervous."

I smirk. "I am nervous. I've built you up for

years in my head. I'm not sure you can live up to
the hype."

Surprised at my statement, both his

eyebrows shoot up as he straightens to his full
height and looks down at me. "Are you implying
that I don't know what I'm doing?"

"Maybe," I smirk.
"Because I can assure you, I know what I'm

doing."

I can't help the smile that's covering my

face. "I guess you'll have to prove it."

"Challenge accepted." Before I have a

chance to respond, Cole sweeps me in his arms and
carries me to my room.

Chapter 4

Samantha

Standing in front of my bed, Cole lifts the

damp sweatshirt over my head. His warm hands slip
under my tee and glide over my back. “Do you
have any idea how beautiful you are?” he whispers.

My eyes shoot down to the ground.
“Don’t look away.” He lifts my chin with

his finger so I meet his eyes, “Look right here.”

I do as he says, feeling my cheeks burn with

embarrassment. Once I meet his crystal pools, he
casts a spell on me and the corners of my lips curl
into a shy smile. I don’t know how it happens
exactly, but while I’m hypnotized by him, he
unhooks my bra.

Cole slips his hand through my sleeve and

pulls the strap down, off my arm, leaving a tingling
trail where he touches my skin. He does the same
on the other side, and with my breasts loose, he
allows the bra to drop to the floor. He wraps his
arms around my waist and pulls me close, crushing
my body against his. I wonder if he can hear the
frantic pounding of my heart.

He plays with my tits in ways no one ever

has. He gently clasps my nipples between the front
of his middle and pointer fingers, brushing his
thumbs over their peaks, back and forth. Cole lifts

my shirt, tugs it off and tosses it to the side.

“I knew you were hot the way you parade

around in those tight yoga pants but, wow!” he
says, pulling back and looking over every inch of
me. He cups one breast and dips his head to it,
looking up at me through his thick, dark lashes.
Cole’s tongue licks, in exaggerated laps over the tip
before his lips clasp around it.

Cole alternates between sucking, and gently

pulling with his teeth. He focuses his mouth on one
breast while his hand plays with the other, then
switches. I’m not prepared for this bombardment of
sensation. I savor each touch of his hands. His lips.
His tongue.

His mouth crushes mine, his tongue

demands entry. I let him in, and Cole deepens the
kiss. My will is his. I run my fingers through his hair
grasping it, clasping on tight as I fight to stay
upright and not spill to the floor like a glass of milk.

I’m so focused on the pleasure he gives, I

don’t notice my pants are unbuttoned until he slips
them down my hips and they hang around my
ankles. Cole rubs his fingers over the thin piece of
material covering my most sensitive spot.

“You’re so wet.” His voice is deep. Raspy.
He’s right. I feel dampness at the top of my

thighs and on my panties. I have a strange sensation
there. A deep heated tingling. I squeeze my thighs
together waiting, longing, for my first taste of

penetration.

Since Cole isn’t moving to undress himself,

I push his unbuttoned jeans past his hips and down
his legs. In his boxers, he stands at full attention
and kicks his pants off.

He looks long and thick. I know the first

time is supposed to hurt no matter what, at least
that’s what Abby says, but I think it might hurt
more because of Cole’s size. I’m excited and
terrified. I don’t have any doubts about what I
want, but I’m curious as to what changed Cole’s
mind. And what happens after this?

I fight to push these thoughts back and stay

in the moment. Nothing exists outside of my
bedroom.

Outside of this moment.
Just Cole and me.
He leans his forehead against mine, "You

good?"

I can't speak, my throat is dry. Instead I

reach my hand down, grab his bulge and nod as I
rub his length.

“Mmm,” he moans, with his eyes closed.
Cole backs me up and lays me on the bed.

He lies down beside me. "No pressure, Sam. If you
want to stop, we stop. Okay?”

“Okay.” I nod.
He takes my hand and covers it with his

own, slipping his fingers between mine. He brings

our hands up to his face. “Touch me.”

At a snail’s pace, he slides our joined hands

down his neck, over each peak and valley of his
chest and stomach, down his center. Our hands
keep moving together, following the trail of hair
from his bellybutton to the waistband of his boxers,
over the bulge between his legs.

We wrap our joined hands around his shaft

and stroke up and down.

"Your skin is so soft,” Cole whispers. He

brings my palm to his mouth and swirls his tongue
around it before he settles it on his cheek and
places a chaste kiss on my lips. He pushes himself
up onto his elbow. "My turn."

I swallow hard anticipating his touch. Just

like he did on himself, his hand starts on the side of
my face and slowly travels down. He holds my chin
for a moment and meets my lips with his. His hand
skims possessively over my neck and down to my
breasts. He visits each nipple with his thumb and
forefinger tweaking and rolling them before
continuing his journey.

At a steady pace, Cole’s hand moves down

my legs, skipping the area crying out the loudest for
attention; the spot flooded with desire. The place
no one but me has ever touched.

Just as I think his expedition has reached its

end, I’m surprised. His hand is back at my center,
between my thighs. He rubs back and forth over my

last article of clothing. Cole slips his fingers
beneath my panties, between my folds and presses
one inside me.

I gasp as a wave of heat washes over me. It

feels good. My face burns with want and need, and
a touch of embarrassment.

“Do you like the way that feels?” he asks.
“Yes.” I don’t recognize my voice.
“Good,” he smiles and engages me in

another breathtaking kiss, as he adds a second
finger. I whimper into his mouth. His thumb finds
my clit. The dampness between my legs grows. I
don’t think I can take much more. I moan, grasping
at his shoulder, needing something to hold. An
intense feeling builds down below. My breaths
come fast.

I reach down and slide my hand under the

waistband of his boxers. I try to remember all the
sex tips I read about to prepare for this moment,
but I can’t. I can’t think at all. The way his fingers
move inside me, all I want is more. My legs spread
wider.

I want him to keep touching, keep teasing. I

want to feel like this forever. This amazing feeling
like I’m floating in air, rising. Higher and higher,
ready to jump. Ready to fall. Ready to explode.

I grip him and circle my thumb over his

head. His skin feels smooth and velvety. It’s
perfect. He moans as I stroke him. Up and down.

Faster and faster. I want him to fly and soar with
me.

“Mmm. Don’t stop.” Now he’s moaning,

too. “Do you have any idea how crazy you’re
driving me?” His breath tickles my ear.

“No.” I move my hand faster. His thumb

circles faster, his fingers plunge in and out
noisily.

"All I can think of is being inside you.”
Cole slows down, and my hips try to take up

the slack. He removes his hand. I let out a long
disappointed breath as he pulls away. My
disappointment lasts a few seconds before he hooks
his fingers into the sides of my panties. He pulls
them down my legs. Blood surges through my veins
as his eyes crawl over my fully exposed body.

I don’t move as Cole reaches into his wallet,

rips open a foil square and rolls on a condom.
Ready for action he kisses his way up my body,
starting at my ankle and moving slowly up. His
mouth feels incredible. Especially on the inside of
my thigh and the area just below my belly button.

Once he’s back up to my face and sees me

biting my lip, Cole smiles.

“Like that?”
“Yes. I liked it a lot.”
“Good. I want this to be special for you.”
Cole has no idea the fact that I’m about to

hand my V card to him, makes it special. I always

imagined he’d be my first, and now I’m living out
the fantasy. Only it’s better than I thought. Cole is
kinder, sweeter, than I ever imagined. He knows
how and where to touch me. Nothing could beat
this.

He climbs on top of me and works his way

between my legs. I pull my knees in, like I’ve seen
girls do in movies and on the porn sites my brother
watches. He hesitates, and I'm not sure why.

“Let’s start nice and easy.”
Cole rubs his hardness against my clit. It

doesn’t hurt at all. In fact, it feels amazing. I’m
starting to understand why everyone loves to fuck
so much.

Relaxing, I release a long sigh and five tons

of tension with it. My hips move ever so slightly to
rub against him.

After a few more thrusts, Cole reaches

down and adjusts himself. I feel pressure that soon
turns to pain at my opening. I gasp and hold him
tight. His head slowly enters me.

“Breathe, Sam,” he says, before kissing me

again.

He takes his time working himself deeper

inside. I dig my fingers into the flesh of his
shoulders as I get used to the pain and new
sensation I’m feeling.

Cole stares in my eyes as he withdraws

almost completely and slides back in. I’m already

sore, I’m not sure I’ll be able to walk for a week.
As if he knows I’m in my head, his mouth teases
mine with another deep, long kiss.

“Hey, beautiful, you okay?” He asks, his

warm cheek pressed against mine.

“Yes.” I answer, through staggered breaths.

“I’m . . . fine.”

“Relax, okay?”
I nod, unable to speak. All of a sudden I’m

flying again. Rising like a rocket in the sky. I
explode and feel myself clench and pulse around
him. I cry out and dig my fingers deeper into him as
I fall into an ocean of pleasure unlike any I’ve ever
known.

*

Resting the bulk of his weight on his

forearms, Cole smoothes my hair and kisses my
cheek. He leaves a trail of kisses on my damp,
overheated skin from my mouth, across my jaw,
down my neck.

"Any regrets?" He asks, as he leans back

and looks at me.

"No. That was incredible." I let my hand run

down his back, tracing the cord of muscles
protecting his spine.
"Did it hurt a lot?" He leaves soft kisses on my
nose, and forehead. His heartbeat pounds fast and
furious against my hand.

"In the beginning."

"I'm sorry.” There's such tenderness in his

eyes, it makes me want to devour him like a piece
of sweet chocolate. If only.

Cole rolls onto his side but is still right up

against me. I run my pointer finger down his center,
from his neck, down his chest, past his bellybutton.

"I enjoyed it though. Enough to go for

round two," I tease.

“Round two?” he asks surprised. “I love

your enthusiasm, but I think you should give
yourself some time to recoup.”

Insecurity washes over me like a tsunami.
“Was it not good for you? Did I not do it

right?”

He rolls me onto his chest, hooks his ankle

around mine and kisses the top of my head. “It was
amazing. Just like you. I just don’t want you to
overdo it.”

I lay my head on his chest. A million

questions race through my mind. Especially, what
happens now? I don’t ask, because I’m afraid to
hear the answer. For now, I’m content to stay right
where I am. In my bed. Naked. Lying on Cole
Andrews.

Chapter 5

Cole

“Wake up, Cole. Wake up!” Sam’s voice

startles me. “My parents are on their way home.”

“What?” Dazed and confused I sit up and

look around.

Oh shit! I’m stark fucking naked in

Sammie’s bed. Tyler’s little sister Sammie. What the
fuck did I do? How did I let this happen? Every
forbidden kiss and touch we shared through the
night races to the foreground of my mind.

I didn’t just kiss her with the lust and

hunger I shoved down deep over the last year. No, I
took everything she had to offer. Including her
virginity. I had heart stopping sex with a girl I know
is off limits.

I just fucked everything up: my relationship

with her. Like there can ever be one now. My
friendship with Tyler. Everything.

I scamper to grab my clothes off the floor

and get dressed. I’m so focused on getting my shit
together, I don’t look at Sam until I’m fully clothed.
She hasn’t moved. She sits on the bed watching me
with wide eyes and a look of fear.

I’m not sure what to do because she isn’t

moving and her parents can’t find us like this. It’s
one thing for me to claim to be keeping her

company because her friend couldn’t make it.
Something very different for us to be in her
bedroom with every stitch of her clothing off.

Yeah if that happens I can count on

spending the next few hours in jail, if not days. And
I could forget about getting a decent job. Ever.

“Sam, please! You have to put something

on!”

She continues to stare at me, unmoving. I

need her to get dressed. I pick her clothes up off
the floor and offer them to her. She doesn’t take
them. Her eyes water, her bottom lip trembles.
Fuck this is bad. I need to do something, but I have
no idea what.

“Hey,” I smile at her. “Are you okay?
There’s a slight nod of her head.
I sit on the bed next to her and wrap my

arm around her shoulder. My heart races. Fear and
adrenaline mix to drive me into an internal frenzy.
I’m afraid I hurt her by taking things too far. By
letting things happen that I shouldn’t even have
fantasized about, let alone lived out.

That fear eats at me, but it’s not as strong as

the fear I have of her father finding us like this. Out
of all the things he’ll do, savagely kicking my ass
being the most brutal, the one that frightens me the
most is the idea that he’ll ban me from ever seeing
her again.

I can’t let that happen. I want to make

things right with Sam. Or at the very least better.
But I’m not sure how to go about doing it.

“Sam, baby, talk to me. What’s going on?”
My words jolt her back to the moment.

Thank God. The devastated look on her face clears,
and Sam looks like herself again.

“Baby?” She sounds annoyed. She looks at

me in disbelief, shakes her head and gets to her
feet. “I’m fine.”

I don’t know if I should believe her, but I

don’t have much of a choice at the moment.
Whatever came over Sam seems to have passed.
And we’re running out of time. I can handle the
situation better when her clothes are on, for a
number of reasons.

Once she’s dressed, I pull her into my arms

and kiss the top of her head. She doesn’t break
away, but she’s not returning the gesture either. I
expect her to hold me or meld into my body like
she did earlier, but she’s not. It’s like there’s a steel
wall between us. She won’t even meet my eyes.

This is worse than I thought.
With the imminent return of her parents, I

don’t have time to pull what’s wrong out of her. I
need to hear it now so I have a shot of dealing with
it. Most of all she needs to know that she matters to
me.

I look down hoping to reassure her.

“Sammie, tonight meant . . . a lot to me.”

“Yeah. Me too.” The words rush out of her

mouth. Her voice is cold. Emotionless. She breaks
free of my hold and bolts down the stairs for the
living room.

I don’t understand. I’m relieved that Sam’s

not freaking out and clinging to me, but I’m
surprised by her sudden standoffish demeanor.
Actually it’s pissing me off. Why the hell is she
shutting me out when she needs me?

It’s not like she’s uncomfortable with me or

can’t talk to me. Not after everything that
happened tonight. I mean just a few short hours ago
I was inside her and we were as close as any two
people can be.

“Do you want to talk?”
“About?”
“About whatever the hell is wrong.” I snap.
“Nothing’s wrong. I told you, I’m fine.”
I don’t know what I’m more upset about,

the fact that she’s lying to my face, or that she’s
acting like she doesn’t give a fuck about me or
what happened between us, not to mention what I
sacrificed for her. Because in all the scenarios
running through my head, I’m the one in danger of
losing everything.

Everything.
“What the hell?” I ask, following close

behind her.

The groan of the garage door rising leaks

into the kitchen. They’re home. Our time together
is over, and yet I can’t imagine leaving Sam now.
Not like this. I can’t help but think if I do, she’ll
hate me. If that happens I’ll regret everything.

I can’t let that happen.
Sam opens the door leading from the

kitchen out to the garage cutting my time with her
even shorter. It shouldn’t bother me that she seems
like she can’t wait to get away from me, but it does.

I spot Sam’s phone on the kitchen counter.

Before her parents get in the house, I add my
number to her contacts and press send so I’ll have
hers. Instead of using my name, I type in Drew. She
should pick up that it’s short for my last name.

I know it’s crazy, but it’s something I

thought about from time to time, when she was a
crazy wish I could never have. This way I can talk
to her without Tyler or anyone else knowing. Even
if they’re a foot away.

“Cole,” Mrs. Stone says, entering the

kitchen just as I set Sam’s phone back down on the
counter. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”
Disapproval sounds heavy in her voice. “I thought I
said Sam should have Abby keep her company.”

“Abby couldn’t,” Sam jumps in. “Her

parents wouldn’t let her leave because it was
already after eleven when I called her, so I got
stuck with Cole.” She rolls her eyes as she says my
name, like I’m the last person in the world she’d

want to be stuck with. I’m not certain if she’s doing
that for her mother’s benefit or if she’s really
annoyed I’m here.

“Sorry, Mrs. Stone. I wasn’t comfortable

leaving Sam home alone under the circumstances,”
I’m careful not to move my eyes in her direction.
“And I thought this way I could find out how
Tyler’s doing without bothering you.”

She shakes her head and walks past me. If

she has any suspicions, they seem to be eased for
the moment. “I can’t believe he did this. I mean I
thought he was smarter than this.”

“Give it a rest.” Mr. Stone snaps at his wife.

“Maybe if you paid more attention to your family
you would’ve seen what’s going on with him.”

Surprised at the tension between her

parents, I look at Sam’s reaction. She looks angry
and laser focused on her father.

“The same can be said about you,” Sam

directs at him, with narrowed eyes. His jaw tenses
but he doesn’t respond to her comment.

Everyone is angry. I guess that’s a natural

reaction to almost losing a member of your family.
Either that or Tyler’s kept me in the dark about his
family shit. That is, if he’s aware of anything.
Either way, there’s a more going on here than I
know.

“Can I visit him tomorrow?” I ask.
Mr. Stone shakes his head. “He’s agreed to

go to rehab. No communication at all for now. He
has to earn his privileges.”

“Bet you’re happy about that,” Sam snaps.

We all look at her, uncertain where her hostility is
coming from.

“Excuse me?” Her father returns her angry

glare.

My stomach drops at the anger in her

father’s tone. I never heard him speak to Sam like
this. This is bad. She needs support now, not anger.
It’s been a long stressful night for everyone.

“How long will he be there?” I ask.
I jump in because I don’t want Sam and her

father to say things to each other out of anger that
they don’t mean.

“Depends on him. On how open and honest

he is. He needs to accept responsibility for his
actions along with help getting back on the straight
and narrow. At best he should be gone three weeks.
Unless he gives up and signs himself out sooner,”
her father answers.

Sam glares at her father as he speaks and

wastes no time jumping on his comment. “It’s
important to take responsibility for our actions, isn’t
it?”

“You better watch your mouth, Samantha.”
He takes a menacing step toward her and

releases a short angry breath. I fight the urge to
jump in front of her. I swear if he touches her, I

don’t know what I’ll do. Partly because the Stones
are my second family, partly because I feel an
emotion rise from deep inside me, one I never felt
before, that makes me want to stand in front of Sam
and shield her from the world.

The whole scene is out of The Twilight

Zone. I never heard Mr. Stone talk to Sam like this.
She’s his baby girl that never does anything wrong.
I should know with all trouble she’s gotten Tyler
and I into over the years.

What’s worse is I don’t know how to help

her because I don’t know what prompted her
reaction to him. Does she blame him for Tyler? For
Doug? Is this because of what happened with me?

Mr. Stone’s attention turns back to me. Not

what I need right now.

I do my best to keep my face blank. He

can’t see how worried I am, or the disappointment
I’m fighting because I won’t have an excuse to run
into Sam while visiting Tyler. This sucks. It’s
probably for the best though, because I don’t know
if I can keep up this charade and pretend nothing
happened between us.

Although, Sam doesn’t seem to have a

problem with it at all. If I didn’t know better, I’d
say she’s done this before. Maybe Tyler’s not her
problem with guys. Maybe her on and off switch is.
I’ve never seen a girl turn from burning-fire-hot, to
peak-of-an-iceberg-cold in the blink of an eye.

“Thanks for keeping my daughter

company,” Mr. Stone says. This is his polite way of
telling me to leave. The way things are going
tonight, I’m afraid if I don’t take the hint and go
right now, he’ll show me to the door himself, and
tell me not to come back.

“Yeah, sure thing,” I say, rubbing my neck. I

need to go. I don’t want to, but I have no excuse to
stay any longer. “Good night.”

“Goodnight,” Mrs. Stone answers.
I head for the door, a little surprised that

Sam isn’t following behind with an excuse to walk
me out. I turn the knob waiting for her to say my
name.

Silence.
I open it. Still nothing. Not even goodbye.

There’s no reason to stay any longer. I walk out the
door.

I feel like shit. I worried Sam might feel hurt

and used if I didn’t handle the aftermath of what
went down between us well. I never imagined I’d
be the one nursing those feelings.

Chapter 6

Samantha

After getting more details about my

brother’s overdose and his rehab stint from my
parents, I go back to my bedroom. I can’t believe I
freaked out with Cole. I didn’t mean to, but as he
slept and I lay there listening to him breathe, I
replayed him say that kissing me was a mistake.

If that was a mistake what does he think

taking my virginity is? A mortal sin? I didn’t want
to risk hearing it. Not tonight when the other men in
my life tumbled off their high horses.

Cole’s the only one that didn’t turn to shit in

my eyes. At least not yet. He was everything I
needed on the worst night of my life. He gave me
something special. He brought my fantasy to life
and gave me a memory I will cherish.

Everyone says they remember their first

time vividly. How much better is it that I had my
first time with the guy I’m head over heels in love
with? Even if he doesn’t know or feel the same?

I pick his sweatshirt up off the floor and

toss it on my bed. I climb under the covers and hug
it tight to my chest. The faint scents of Cole and
sex hang on my pillow and between the sheets. I
close my eyes and let the memories of the night
lead me into a sweet sleep.

*

I linger in bed Sunday morning until early

afternoon. Everything that happened last night is
surreal. From my squeaky-clean brother
overdosing, to having sex with his best friend. I still
can’t believe it. Even the thought doesn’t feel real.
But as I get up to go to the bathroom, the soreness
down below assures me it happened.

I reach for my phone. Abby will never

believe it. I have to see the look on her face. I send
her a message.

Me: Need 2 talk about last night. Coffee

in an hour?

Abby: K, usual place?
Me: See you there.
There’s a little blood on my bottom sheet. I

think about stripping the bed and putting it into the
washing machine before my mother sees, but
change my mind. It would look too suspicious. Plus,
I’m not ready to get rid of Cole’s scent and wash it
away for good. I want to hold on to the details of
this memory for as long as I can.

As I go back and forth with myself, another

message comes in.

Drew: Good morning, beautiful.
I look at the name again and draw a blank. I

don’t know a Drew. I don’t respond.

Drew: You awake, sexy?
Me: Sorry, you have the wrong number.

Drew: No chance. I typed my number in

your phone myself.

My brows furrow, who the hell is this? I

don’t know a Drew, and he’s right, his name came
up on my contacts. That means the number was
programmed in my phone. This isn’t a random
wrong number.

Me: When?
Drew: Last night. At your house.
The only guy at my house last night was

Cole. I take a moment to think. How did he come
up with Drew? Cole Andrews- Drew. It is Cole! I
can’t control the wide smile on my face any more
than I can the fluttering of my heart in my chest.

Me: I’m sorry, sir. But I don’t know what

you’re talking about, last night I was stuck at
home entertaining my brother’s friend.

Three bubbles pop up immediately. He’s

typing back. Good. I got a reaction from him.

Drew: Entertaining? Is that what you call

it? ;-)

Me: Yes. I did what I could to keep him

pleasantly occupied and I showed him an
abundance of warmth and hospitality. I
entertained him in every sense of the word.

Drew: I don’t doubt it. I’d bet you’re

pretty skilled at . . . entertaining.

Before I can respond, another message

comes in.

Drew: Wait, stuck? What do you mean

stuck?

Yikes, I hope I didn’t just insult him. I need

to lighten the mood. Type something light so he
knows I’m joking.

Me: Once he decided to keep me

company there was no changing his mind. And
you’d think with the house to ourselves he’d
want to do more than close his eyes and go to
sleep.

Drew: I’m sure with your stellar

entertaining skills, he did more than sleep.

Me: True. But he did fall asleep on me.
Drew: Ah, you should toss him to the

curb. He sounds like a drag.

I don’t know how to take this. He’s making

it seem like I have a choice. Maybe I’m just making
something out of nothing because it’s what I want.
Or maybe this is his nice way of saying last night
was a onetime deal and it won’t happen again?

Me: I think you’re right. I mean the guy

wouldn’t even consider going for round 2.

Silence. No typing bubbles. Nothing. I jump

in the shower, hoping for a response when I get out.
Rinsing the soap off me, I convince myself to pull
back the curtain and take a quick peek at my phone
sitting on the counter. Still no response. Maybe I
shouldn’t have brought up the fact that we had sex?

I step out of the shower and towel off when

the next message comes through. With wet hands I
grab for my phone. It slips and falls to the floor, but

doesn’t break. I’ve never been more thankful for
the case protecting it, because if the screen
shattered and I couldn’t read Cole’s message I’d go
stark raving mad.

I close my eyes and take a breath. Get a

hold of yourself. It’s just a text.

For me it’s more than that. A lot more. It’s a

lifeline.

Cole initiated the conversation. He took the

time to add his number to my contacts. I have to
mean more to him than just a quick, easy fuck. I’m
sure his feelings for me aren’t anywhere as strong
as mine are for him, but the important thing is that
he has feelings for me. And feelings can grow.

Cole: We should talk.
My heart stops. My throat closes.
I wish I didn’t see this message. These

words are never good. They’re the preamble to a
broken heart. How the hell am I supposed to
respond? I’m not the one that initiated contact. I
want to say no. That we should just leave things the
way they are, this way I get to keep my memory
happy. This way Cole doesn’t turn into an asshole.

Cole: ?
I guess I have to answer him and get it over

with.

Me: I’m on my way to The Steaming Cup

to meet Abby.

Cole: Can we talk first?

Me: Sure. Where? Here?
Cole: The Steaming Cup is good. How

about I pick you up outside of your development
and drive you over?

Me: Outside my development?
First, he wants to talk. Now he’s

embarrassed to be seen with me? WTF

Me: Why not my house?
Cole: Your parents. They’ll ask questions.
This isn’t making me feel any better. In fact

it rubs me the wrong way. I’ll show him. I may have
had an off night last night, but I’m not some
pathetic chick he needs to handle with kid gloves.
I’m strong and right now the only way I can show
that strength is in driving myself.

Me: I’ll meet you there.
Nervous critters awake and cause havoc in

my belly. I’m not sure if I want to double over or
throw up. I look at the jeans and shirt I planned to
wear lying on my bed. The outfit is fine to meet
Abby in, Cole, not so much.

I search through my closet for something

better and settle on a thin long sleeved sweater with
a deep v-neck. It shows enough cleavage to tease
while not being completely slutty. I keep the jeans
and add a pair of chunk heeled boots. Today, I dress
to impress.

I let my hair dry naturally to enhance my

curls. Instead of the minimal eyeliner and

foundation I normally wear, I add eye shadow,
mascara and lipstick. Looking in the mirror the
impossible happens, I’m satisfied with my
reflection. I just hope I didn’t take too long.

It’s hard to breathe on the ten minute drive

over to the coffee shop. I feel like a safe fell on my
chest and I can’t squirm out from under it. I don’t
know what Cole has to say or if I’ll want to hear it.
He has me completely off balance, but if it’s not
good I want him to get a look at what he’s missing
out on.

*

I take a deep breath as I pull the door to the

coffee shop open. I scan the tables of patrons glued
to their phones or nose deep in their laptops. No
sign of Abby. Or Cole. That sucks. I exhale and
every bit of confidence I pretend to have slips
away.

With nothing else to do, I get on line to

place my order. The door opens. I fight the instinct
to whip my head around and see who entered. I
don’t want Cole or anyone else to know how
anxious I am.

“May I help you?” A skinny guy with a mop

of dark hair asks.

“Frozen coffee with whip.”
Footsteps close in behind me. It’s Cole.

He’s not touching me, but I feel him in the way my
body turns into a sack of bouncing beans. My pulse

races with excitement. The familiar scent of cedar
that clings to him assaults my nose.

I close my eyes hoping I can gather my

emotions and play it cool. The key is in my ability
to “pretend” I’m not hanging on by a thread.
Because if Cole has any idea of how desperately I
want him to pull me in his arms and kiss me right
now, it would send him running far and fast.

One more deep breath and I turn to face

him. He looks better than usual. I’m not sure if it’s
the twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes, or the way
his dark hair falls today. No matter what it is, I’m
struck dumb when my eyes land on his.

I search for something to say, but the only

thing I can think of is, “Hi.”

“How’s Tyler?” He asks before placing his

order.

He wants to talk about my brother? Or is

this his way of breaking the ice before he breaks
my heart?

I shrug. “Same as last night. He’s stable.”
“That’s good.” Cole nods and I notice the

lump in his throat move when he swallows. He
looks uneasy. Great. This isn’t good. I’m right to
expect the worst.

“Want to go sit?”
Without answering, I move toward the

seated area and find a table with two soft chairs,
away from the rest of the crowd. I sit, and he

follows suit. Cole sets his coffee down on the table
between us and rubs his palms along his thighs. I
don’t remember ever seeing him so nervous.

“So,” he starts. “
“So.”
The air is thick. Heavy. Chock-full of

tension. I don’t know if I want him to jump straight
to the point and get it over with, or hem and haw so
I could pretend he’s not about to shatter me for a
few minutes more.

“How are you?” With narrowed eyes, and a

stoic look on his face, he examines me like I’m a
commodity he’s evaluating.

“Fine. Why?”
“I don’t know, you seemed a little off when

I left last night, and I want to make sure you’re
good.”

Ah, Cole’s worried about self-preservation.

He’s making sure I don’t regret what happened to
the point that I cause problems for him. Jerk.

“No worries.” I offer a fake smile. “I’m

fine.”

Someone enters the shop. I turn my head to

the side looking for Abby to save me. It’s not her.
Some best friend she is, leaving me to wait for her
while I squirm under Cole’s scrutiny.

This is the first time I can remember not

wanting to be alone with him. I don’t want his
attention today, because he’s looking to closely and

he’s sure to find cracks in my surface.

“You don’t seem fine.” He leans back in the

chair, his eyes measure me.

“Well I am,” I snap. “Look, I know what

you’re going to say, so let’s get it over with.”

“You do?” His eye brow quirks up.
“Yes.”
“Great. Fill me in.”
I shake my head. Why is he being such a

jerk? Is he looking to get off by hurting me? “Fine.
I get it. Last night was a mistake. We should go
back to the way things were, where you’re Tyler’s
best friend and I’m his annoying sister, and we have
nothing to do with each other.” I say, looking
everywhere but at Cole.

“Is this what you think I’m about to say or

is this what you want?” His brows furrow.

“I don’t know. Maybe a little bit of both.”
“So you regret it?” He accuses. Am I crazy

or is there a hint of sadness in his tone?

I shake my head, close my eyes and take a

deep breath, debating if I should be honest or hide
behind the shield of indifference I found last night.
I want to go with honesty because there’s a spark
of hope between us I don’t want to let die. A spark
that grew into a tiny flame when Cole texted me
earlier. A spark I’m afraid he’s about to smother
and kill.

Indifference, will kill it for sure. It will kill

anything good between us, because no matter how
good I think I can pretend, I’ll hurt on the inside
and trip up eventually. It may be an extra-long look,
or a lingering touch, but somehow, someway my
real feelings will creep up between us. Once
unmasked, he’ll see me as a liar, that can’t be
trusted.

I go with honesty.
“No regrets, Cole. I wanted it. I’m just

stating the obvious so you don’t feel awkward
about it.”

“You’re not stating the obvious. I’m not

thinking anything like that, Sam, let alone saying
it.”

“You’re not?” An insurgence of hope

invades my heart. An army of knights on horses
gallop in, armed and ready to battle for his heart.

He shakes his head. “No, princess.”
My tummy tumbles and twists in an excited-

I-can’t-believe-this-is-real, sort of way.

“But you said we should talk.”
“Yes. After last night we should talk,” he

says, in a low voice, almost whispering. “Don’t you
think?” Cole’s eyes lock on mine and hold me
prisoner while he waits for me to answer.

I shrug in response and sit with my

fingertips under my thighs so that he can’t see my
hands tremble. “I don’t know. I mean it’s not like
we’re a couple or anything—“

Cole pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re

not making this easy.”

“But I am, Cole. Don’t you get it,” I smile.

“I know it’s weird because of my brother, so I’m
letting you off the hook.”

“I’m not squirming on a hook, trying to find

a way off, Sam. I’m not. I’m here. I’m here right
now because this is where I want to be. With you.
Last night, you all but put up a flashing neon sign
that you wanted the same thing, and then once we
took things to the next level, it’s like a switch
flipped inside you.”

The sound of a throat being clearing

interrupts us. Annoyed, I turn to find Abby standing
next to us with a cup of coffee in her hand. Shit. I
forgot for the minute about meeting her.

“You know what?” She says, eyes wide,

looking between Cole and me. “I have to run to the
ladies room. Let me just leave this here,” she sets
the coffee on the table. “And I’ll be back in a
minute.”

Before I can disagree or stop her, my

friends hurries off.

“Look, everything changed last night, Sam.

I don’t want to go back to the way things were
before. I don’t think I can.”

“So what are you saying? Are we together?

Like as more than friends?” Great. I sound like I’m
twelve years old. Perfect way to win him over.

“I think it’s safe to say since we’ve seen

each other naked, that we’re more than just
friends.” The corner of his mouth turns up into a
mischievous grin.

“Really?” I want to jump out of my seat and

throw my arms around him. “I can’t wait to tell
Abby!”

“No, Sam!” Cole looks back toward the

restrooms. “You can’t tell her.”

“Why not? You just said—”
“I know. But we can’t tell anyone.” Here’s

the letdown. “Not yet.” Cole’s eyes drop to the
ground. I’m not feeling as good about this as I did a
moment ago. “I hate to be this way, but we need to
keep this between us. For now.”

“Oh. So when you said we’re more than just

friends, you meant, we’re friends with benefits. I’m
good enough to fuck, just not to date.”

Anger masks his face. “That’s not what I’m

saying. It’s complicated. And until I have a chance
to talk to Tyler, nobody can know.”

Asshole. How can I like him so much one

minute and hate him the next?

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but my

brother doesn’t have anything to do with this. This
is between you and me. I thought last night proved
that.”

“I know. But I’ve been friends with him for

years.” Cole rubs the back of his neck. “This is

going to come between us, whether you think it
should or not. I’m just asking that you give me a
chance to tell him instead of having him hear it
from someone else.”

“That’s going to be at least three weeks

from now. Maybe longer.”

“I know. I’m not saying we shouldn’t see

each other or talk. We can figure something out,”
Cole answers, with a somber look.

“So basically sneak around.”
He squeezes his eyes closed and nods.

“Yeah. I guess. We can do this. We can keep it
quiet for three weeks. Can’t we?” He waits for an
answer.

I guess I see his point. As much as I hate to

admit it, I think my brother is going to go ape shit. I
really don’t want to add to his plate at the moment
or break up their friendship.

“Ok. Fine. You win. I won’t say anything.”
“Thank you.”
I want to throw my arms around him, or seal

the deal with a kiss, but we can’t do that. Not
publicly. Not for at least three weeks.

Chapter 7

Cole

“Were you at the library earlier?” Austin

asks, dribbling the basketball in front of me.

Every limb in my body tightens. My left eye

twitches. I’m caught. I should just say yes and
shrug it off. It’s the library, no big deal. So he saw
me at a large building full of nerdy kids and books.
There’s nothing salacious about that.

I reach for the ball, but he switches sides

before I can steal it.

The problem isn’t where I went but what I

did while I was there. I can say I took a book out,
or rented a movie. Except, Austin knows I haven’t
read for pleasure in years. I can’t even come up
with the name of a book I’d want to read. And why
would I go there for a movie when there are at least
four RedBox machines between my house and the
library?

Still dribbling, he spins and fakes me out.
He saw me. Or my car. If I deny being

there, it’ll be worse, because if he saw me, chances
are he watched Samantha get in my car. I have to
go with the truth.

“Yep.” I keep my eyes on the ball and take

a futile stab at knocking it away. “My mother asked

me to return some books for her.”

“Really?” He says trying to get around me.
“Um hum.”
“Is that why Sam Stone jumped in your

car?”

I freeze. Austin takes advantage of my

stupor and takes the ball to the hole to score.

Shit, shit, SHIT! Now what?
I think about it while we get into position

for him to hand the ball off to me.

“She happened to be there and wanted to

say hi.” With ball in hand, I retreat and use the
overabundance of adrenaline shooting through my
body to make a basket from downtown.

“Hi, huh?”
“Yep.” I answer shoving the ball at him

hard, hoping he’ll take the hint and drop it. Three
days. That’s all. I can hang on and pretend for three
more days. “Oh, and she told me Tyler’s coming
home in a few days.”

“She couldn’t say hi from outside of the

car?” Austin holds the ball off to the side and
stands to his full height. “She had to get in and have
you drive to the back of the building for that?”

I straighten up. The game is over.
Fuck! I have no way out. Maybe if I’m

honest with Austin he’ll have my back when Tyler
beats me down and tries to cut my dick off. I look
up and meet his stare. That’s all the conformation

he needs.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” My

friend slaps the back of my head. “Tyler’s in rehab,
not on a fucking retreat. You need to pull your shit
together.”

He’s right. I hate it. What I hate even more

is this conversation, but as uncomfortable as it is, I
know it’s nothing compared to what telling Tyler
will be like. It feels good though, to run through it
with someone else first.

“You think I don’t know that? That I don’t

feel like a piece of garbage? He’s my best friend,
and I know her since she’s ten. Ten fucking years
old. Do you really think this is how I wanted this to
go down? Sneaking around and denying her?”

He takes a long breath. “When did it start?”
I run my hand through my hair searching for

words that won’t make me sound like the world’s
biggest douche-nozzle. There are none. I know how
bad it sounds. I’ve played it in my head for the last
few weeks. “Well, Tyler, it all started the night you
almost died.”

I shake my head, hoping to clear it of all the

thoughts and images running wild from that night.
Thoughts of her mouth. Her hands. Her sweet pussy
that has me addicted. I’m so fucked.

I dread having to tell Tyler, because not

only is this his nightmare scenario, it happened at
the lowest point of his life. Only a true scumbag

does that. He might think I’ve been waiting for an
opportunity like this to get with Sam. That’s the
furthest thing from the truth.

I knew I wanted her, I just didn’t realize I

needed her. And not because I have a shitty life or
because I’m some sort of fuck up. I’m not. My life
was just fine without her, or so I thought. I need her
because she’s the something I didn’t realize was
missing. Not until I had a taste of her. She touches
me unlike anyone or anything I’ve ever known,
deep down in my heart.

Life was good before Sam. Good, but not

great. No matter what I achieved, graduating
college cum laude, finding a job before any of my
friends, nothing satisfied me. I still felt like I could
do better. Like something was missing. Until that
night. The night I found her crying and held her in
my arms.

I never felt so much emotion for anyone.

She was broken and vulnerable. I wanted to make
everything better. If she asked, I would’ve stood on
my head. Or carried her to the hospital, in my arms
while walking in the rain. It wasn’t until I was balls
deep inside her, that I realized she’s a part of me.
The part that’s been missing.

“The night he ODed.”
“How far did you go? You didn’t fuck her

did you?”

I’m so uptight it’s getting hard to breathe. I

clear my throat and rub the back of my neck to
relieve some tension.

“Damn it, Cole! She’s the one fucking girl

that’s off limits and the second Tyler’s back is
turned you fuck her? You know how he is. He’s
never going to forgive you.”

“I know. I know. That’s why we haven’t

gone public yet. I need to talk to him. Make him
understand I’m not going to hurt her.”

“Bullshit. Sam’s not the type to mess

around. She’s into you man. That means she’s going
to get hurt.”

My hand balls up into a fist, I flex my

fingers open and closed. “Nah man. You’re wrong.
I’m not going to hurt her. And I’m not going to let
you, or Tyler fuck this up.”

A look of understanding settles on Austin’s

stupid face. He covers his mouth. That does nothing
to alleviate the urge I have to punch him.

“Oh my god. You’re into her.”
I don’t answer. There’s nothing to say. “Of

course I’m fucking into her. I wouldn’t be in this
situation if I wasn’t bat shit crazy for the girl.”

“Look man, as your friend, I’m telling you

to be careful. Shit can backfire on you in fifteen
different ways.”

“I know.”
“It’s none of my business, Cole, but I

wouldn’t wait too long to tell him. Shit has a way of

coming out when you try to hide it. And if he finds
out from someone else, you’ve got no shot of him
ever accepting this.”

I nod. “I’m going to tell him. Not the second

he gets home, but soon.”

*

“I hate him!” Samantha yells, getting into

my car and slamming the door behind her.

I look around the parking lot for her ex, or

some other jerk she might be referring to. I don’t
see anyone. Which is good because people only
come here at this time of night to fool around. If
she was with another guy before meeting up with
me, she’d have a lot to answer for.

“What’s wrong?” I reach over and stroke

her soft brown hair.

“Nothing,” Sam sniffles. I hear her fighting

to hold the tears back.There’s been an underlying
sadness in her since the night Tyler overdosed. I
haven’t pressed her to talk about it because I
thought I knew the source. Now I’m not so sure.

“Is it Doug?” She shakes her head. “Tyler?”
“No.” She closes her eyes and takes a

calming breath. “My father.”

I’m taken by surprise. I knew something

was off the night Tyler ODed. In all the years I’ve
known the Stones, I never knew Sam to be hostile
to her father. Sure he keeps tabs on her, he wants to
know where she is and who she’s with, but that’s

nothing new, and who can blame him?

I push my seat all the way back and lean it

down a bit, the way we like. I reach for Samantha’s
hand as she climbs over the center console and
onto my lap. We’ve gotten this routine down pretty
well over the last two weeks, since we were spotted
together at the library and decided to meet here.

Spending time with her like this, holding her

close, it’s a nice end to my days, and what I look
forward to at night. Especially since I started my
job. Working nine to five everyday has me feeling
too much like an adult with grown up
responsibilities. Sneaking my time with Sam keeps
me sane.

“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You might feel better.” She shakes her

head. “C’mon, princess. Tell me what’s wrong,” I
coax, pushing her hair back behind her ear.

Sam takes a long breath, and closes her

eyes. I knew I could get her to come around. She
sits straighter and squares her shoulders.

“My parents are getting a divorce.”
“What?” Talk about a sucker-punch. This

came out of left field. I don’t want to make things
worse, but I don’t understand. “How? I mean,
they’ve always been solid. They never argue or
fight. They’re always on the same page.”

“It’s my father’s fault.” The tears start

again. “He’s a lying, cheating bastard. He’s been
sleeping on the couch, the last few weeks and all
my mother does is cry. I hate him!”

I’m still confused, but at least now Sam’s

hostility toward her father makes sense. Sort of.

“Do you know for sure he’s cheating?

Maybe they’re not getting along because of all the
stress your family is under and your mother
misunderstood something.”

She wags her pointer finger at me. “Do not

do that. Do not act like she’s some hysterical
woman. Besides, I know what I saw and I saw him
with his tongue down another woman’s throat. A
woman who most definitely is not my mother.”

I don’t ask any other questions. I pull her

against my chest and hold her. Stroke her back.
Kiss the top of her head. I focus on her and ignore
the ache in my chest. It hurts to breathe because
this is a pain I can’t ease for her. I know it’s going
to change her, make her lose trust in men. In me. I
hate that. All I can do is be here to hold her and
listen.

“Is there any chance that Tyler knows?”
She shakes her head. “No. They were still

pretending and making believe they were the happy
couple before he overdosed. It’s like the shit hit the
fan with him and they gave up on each other. On
our family.”

“Is there any shot that they’ll work through

this?” I can’t help but hope because if they don’t,
this could send Tyler spiraling.

“No. I hear them fighting when they think

I’m asleep. Apparently my father’s been moving his
stuff out while I’m at school and she’s at work. He
took the last of his stuff tonight and my mother lost
it.”

“But Tyler’s home tomorrow.”
She nods. “He wanted to be out before

Tyler gets back. He thinks it will be easier on my
brother if the stuff is already gone and there’s no
big scene. A clean break is the way he described it
to my mother.”

This is so fucking bad. A rock sinks to the

bottom of my stomach. Like the selfish son of a
bitch I am, I can’t help but think of the
ramifications this is going to have on my life. On
my relationship with Sam. And Tyler.

I don’t want to believe it. I am a shit. My

girl is hurting, my best friend’s world is about to get
rocked again, and all I can think about is how it’s
going to affect me.

“Are you sure? People say things out of

anger sometimes and then change their mind once
they cool off. How did they seem when they told
you about it?”

She shakes her head. “Told me? They didn’t

tell me. Nobody tells me anything. I’m not
important enough to tell. I don’t count for shit.

They all act like I’m three years old. I know what I
do from listening to them when they think I’m
sleeping.”

“They love you, Sam. I’m sure they’re just

trying to protect you.”

“Protect me? They don’t care about me.

They care about their golden boy. He’s the
important one. They don’t even bother trying to act
like they can tolerate each other for me. They don’t
talk, unless they have to, and then it turns into an
argument. So, no, Cole. They’re not trying to
protect me. I just can’t wait to get the hell out of
the house and away from them. School can’t start
soon enough. Then I’ll be living on campus and we
can see each other as often as we want.”

“I’m so sorry, Sam.”
“Me too.”
My heart breaks for my princess. I don’t

want to see her hurt like this. I lean her head
against my chest and run my hand over her back. I
feel awful. For the Stones. For Sam. And for Tyler.
This is the last thing he needs when he gets home.
No. Second to last. The last thing he needs is to find
out I’m screwing his sister. A raw ache takes hold
in my chest.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you

these last few weeks.” She squeezes me tight. I
close my eyes and breathe her in. My sweet Sam.

“It’s a good thing we don’t have to think

about that.” I barely get the words out.

As much as I don’t want it to, I know

everything is going to change tomorrow. I won’t be
able to see her, and hold her. I won’t be able to help
her through and make this better for her. Not if
Tyler handles it the way I think he will.

“I mean it, Cole. You’re the glue holding me

together.”

“You’re strong, Sam. Strong and beautiful.”

I hold her face in my hands and take a long look
into her teary green eyes. I want to stop her pain. I
can’t think about tomorrow. We only have right
now, this minute.

A carnal need for her takes over. I claim her

mouth. My tongue pushes between her lips, into her
welcoming mouth. I kiss her with every ounce of
hunger inside me. I don’t know when we’ll have
the chance to be together like this again. I need her.
Need to consume her. Need every bit of her to hold
me over until I can have her again.

As if she knows what I’m thinking, what

I’m feeling, she comes at me with equal force. Her
fingers pull at my hair. Angry. Desperate. Her tits
crush against my chest as she kisses me and grinds
her pussy over the hard on straining against my
pants. I run my hands up her bare thighs, all the
way up to her ass. I love that she’s been dressing up
to meet me. Dressing in these short dresses that
allow easy access.

“Fuck me, Cole.” Sam throws her head

back and holds on to my shoulders. “Fuck me until
I can’t feel anything but you. Until I forget
everything else around me.”

My cock has been hard and waiting for the

invitation since she climbed on top of me. I move
my hand toward the front of the thong and slip my
fingers under the lacy material. I press my thumb
on her clit and tap it. Her tongue continues to swipe
against mine as I use my fingers to fuck her.

She moans. I know she’s close. The

windows aren’t as clear as they were a few minutes
ago. I want to bring her there, but I want my cock
to do it. I pull my hand out from under her and rub
my thumb on her lips, moistening them with her
juices.

“I want to taste you.” I run my tongue over

her lips before I kiss her. “Mmm. Delicious.”

I pull the neck line of her dress down and

take one of her breasts out of her bra and rest it
over the material of her dress. I squeeze her tit,
kneading it greedily before bringing my mouth to it.
I suck with fervor, circle the peak with my tongue
until her nipple is swollen and hard, while my hand
plays with the other one.

Frenzied, Sam reaches for my belt. She

opens it along with my jeans and pulls down the
zipper. I lift my hips giving her room to pull my
throbbing cock out. I reach in the glove box for a

square wrapper. I rip it open with my teeth, roll the
condom on and pull her thong over to the side.

I lay the seat down all the way and position

my dick at her opening. My girl glides over my
length. She rides me, lifting up and down with her
tits bouncing, till the windows fog all the way. My
hands hold her hips and help her along, moving her
faster and faster.

“I want to cum, Cole. Don’t stop,” she

yells, before bringing her mouth down on my
shoulder. I pull her chest flush against mine and
thrust from below doing as she asks until I hear
nothing but her cries and I feel her clench around
me.

Once she catches her breath, Sam takes

over again. She slides up and down on my dick
while I hold her tits tight, until I give in and allow
myself to release.

It’s a long time before Sam moves from my

arms. We don’t speak, just hold each other close
until our pounding hearts return to normal. Neither
of us speak. About her parents, or her brother.
Especially not about tomorrow.

Chapter 8

Samantha

I don’t realize how much I miss my brother

until he comes home. The second Tyler walks in the
door, I throw myself into his arms. I don’t think I
let go of him for five minutes.

“Hey, I’m alright.” He assures me.
“I can’t believe I almost lost you!” I choke

out. It’s the first time I verbalized it. The first time I
let myself think about it. Luckily I had Cole around
to keep my mind preoccupied.

“I’m sorry, I was weak, Sammie. I promise,

it won’t happen again.”

“It better not!” I give him a stern warning.

“I’m still mad at you. You could’ve come to me.”

He nods. “I know. I’m a dumbass.”
“Yes, but I love you anyway.”
My father clears his throat. Of course he’s

the one to interrupt a touching brother/sister
moment. A moment I’ve been waiting over a month
for, and one I can never get back.

“We need to sit and talk.” He motions

toward the kitchen table. We each take our normal
seats and wait for my father to start the
conversation. He isn’t fast to do it, so Tyler takes
the lead.

“First, I want to start with thank you. You

didn’t have to stand by me, but you did. And I
appreciate it.”

“Oh, Tyler,” Mom chimes in. “We love

you.”

“I know I have to earn your trust back. I’m

not expecting to go back to the way things were
where I come and go whenever I want. I
understand you need to know where I am and who
I’m with. And that I’ll have limits.”

“That’s not what I wanted to say,” Dad

says, sharing a look with Mom, “But since you
brought it up, your mother went through your room
and threw out your stash. We dumped all the
alcohol in the house. I don’t care that your twenty
two, for the time being, you’re dry. And so is this
house. Understand.”

“Yes.” Tyler nods. “Before you say

anything else. I hope you guys understand, this
wasn’t about you not being good parents. You’re
the best. I wouldn’t have made it through without
you guys.”

“Apparently we’re not “the best” as you

put it, or you would’ve come to us, instead of a
drug dealer,” Dad snaps.

“The problem was me, and my

shortcomings. I wasn’t looking to talk or solve my
problems. I was looking to stop the pain. That’s all
it was about. Numbing myself. Anyway I could. I

know that’s not the answer, because I caused a lot
more pain, for all of us.”

“Here’s the thing, son. We love you. Yes

you messed up, but we’re giving you another shot
because the truth is, we do blame ourselves. Your
mother and I . . .” Dad reaches across the table and
takes my mother’s hand.

Hope springs up alive and well in my heart.

Maybe Cole was right. Maybe, they just said things
out of anger that they didn’t mean, and now that
Tyler’s home and our family is whole again, they’re
willing to at least try and work it out. I lean forward
in my chair, waiting for my father to say he’s going
to move all his things back in the house.

Dad clears his throat and starts again. “Your

mother and I realized some painful truths.”

Please say what I want to hear. Please don’t

crush Tyler. Please don’t destroy me.

Dad lets out a long breath. His face drops,

and I know it’s bad news. I want to scream at him
to stop. To stop cheating. To stop destroying our
family. To. Just. Stop.

“Your mother and I respect each other very

much. Enough to realize, we don’t work anymore.”

A subdued rage bubbles in my chest. Angry

tears I refuse to let out burn the back of my eyes. I
should be worried about how Tyler’s handling this,
but I’m not because it’s hurting me. Somewhere in
all this everyone forgot about me.

I glance at my brother. His face dropped.

He turned three shades of white. It hurts him too. I
hate them for doing this.

“Mom, Dad,” he looks frantically between

my parents. “Don’t. I’m sorry. I’m not going to
fuck up again. I swear.”

Mom doesn’t look at him. She shakes her

head and keeps her eyes glued on the table top.
“It’s not your fault, sweetheart. It’s . . .” she’s
taken over by ugly loud sobs before she gets up,
rushes from the table into her bedroom and closes
the door.

Tyler and I look at each other. Neither of us

know what to do. We’ve never seen mom like this.
I’m scared and angry. I hate my father for doing
this to her, to all of us.

My brother reaches over and squeezes my

hand, like I’m the one that needs to keep from
crumbling. I won’t let myself fall apart. I’m
stronger than all of them. Because I have to be.

“I hope you’re happy.” I glare at my father.

“This is your fault. All your fault.”

I rush to my room and slam my door. So

much for my brother’s happy home coming.

I throw myself on my bed and cry. There’s

only one person I want to talk to and I can’t. I
promised Cole I wouldn’t let my brother find out
about us before we are ready to tell him.

Cole wants to spend some time with Tyler to

reconnect and make sure my brother’s okay. Once
Cole is convinced Ty can handle it, we’ll tell him
together.

Just because I can’t see Cole, doesn’t mean

I can’t talk to him. I pick up my phone. I could
send him a text, but I’d much rather hear his voice.
Besides if anyone looks at my call history, it’ll show
I called Drew.

“Hey, Princess,” Cole answers the phone.

“How’s it going?”

“Better now,” I say, pulling at a string on

my comforter.

“How’s Ty?”
I sniffle feeling guilty that it’s my brother’s

first night back and we all bailed on him.

“Better than me, I think.”
“I doubt that. He puts on a good show, but

underneath I bet he feels like he’s on shaky
ground.”

I honestly don’t know how my brother is,

and that makes me just as selfish and self-centered
as the rest of the lot. What makes everything worse
for me is not having my outlet. The shoulder to cry
on that I have in Cole.

“I’m a mess. I wish I could see you.”
“Yeah, me too.” He sounds sad. Not as sad

as me, but at least I know he’s not enjoying being
apart from me.

“Why don’t you come over?”

“I don’t know. Your parents might not

appreciate it.”

“Yeah, they could go fuck themselves. They

already ruined the night.” I wipe at the tears falling
silently from my eyes. “My mother’s in her room
crying, my father and I just got into it. You coming
would be a good distraction for all of us.”

“Sam, you know if I do, we can’t—”
“I know. But seeing you, being in the same

house as you is better than nothing. And I think it’ll
be good for Tyl—”

“Hey, babe. He’s calling me. I’ll talk to you

later. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.” I hang up feeling just as bad

as I did when I called him. Maybe even worse
because I needed him and he blew me off.

A few minutes pass when I hear a knock on

my door. I ignore it. There’s a chance my father is
on the other side. Another knock comes. If it is my
father it’s better to deal with him now, before he
loses his shit and takes my door off the hinges. He
only did that once to show me the lengths he’ll go
to not to be ignored. I had to live without my door
for three weeks.

I pull the door open to find my brother

there, leaning on the door frame, arms crossed over
his chest. Shit. I hope he’s not here to lecture me
about Cole, although I doubt Cole mentioned
anything about us.

“Can I come in?”
I step aside and close the door behind him.
“Might as well leave it open,” he starts.

“Dad left. He apologized by the way. Said you have
every right to be upset and he’s sorry he let us
down.”

“Sorry doesn’t mean a whole lot to me.” I

struggle to keep from crying again.

“It’s okay to cry,” Tyler takes my hands and

pulls me in his arms. “I know how close you and
dad are—”

“Were.”
“I’m sorry. Maybe if I didn’t—”
“No. It’s not about you Ty. I saw him,” I

push away from my brother as I think back to my
father and his blonde bimbo secretary kissing. Bet
he fucked her in his office, too. Is that what they do
after morning coffee? Or every time he has a
“dinner” meeting?

I clear my throat. I need to sound strong,

pretend I can handle all of this, even if I can’t. “It
was earlier that day, before anything happened to
you. It’s all on him.”

“Aw, Sam, you’ve been dealing with this all

on your own. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been here.”

I shrug. “It’s fine.” It wouldn’t have been

any better if Tyler was here when I found out. At
least with him gone, I had Cole.

The doorbell rings, and my heart jumps. I

worry Tyler might notice it leaped two feet from my
chest. If he does, he doesn’t say anything.

“That’s Cole.” I do all I can not to spring up

and do a summersault. “I hope you don’t mind, I
invited him over. I haven’t spoken to him and since
Mom and Dad . . . Why don’t you come down and
hang with us.”

Yes! Yes! YES! “I don’t know. Do you

really want me there? Won’t I cramp your style?”

“Of course I want you there. I missed you,

Sam. You might be a pain in the ass, but you’re my
pain in the ass.”

“Gee, thanks.”
“Anytime.”
I reach for a tissue to blow my nose as my

brother heads out of my room. I take a quick peek
in the mirror before following. Maybe I shouldn’t
join them. I look like shit. I crinkle my nose at my
reflection. My eyes are red and puffy, my skin
blotchy from crying.

My brother stops in his tracks and turns

back to me. “Don’t worry about how you look, sis.
You know it’s never going to happen.”

“What are you talking about?” Shit if I’m

that transparent maybe I shouldn’t be anywhere
near them.

“You know what. You and Cole. He’s never

going to touch you. You’re not his type. That and
he knows I’ll kill him if he ever does, so you could

look like you’re ready to step out on the red carpet
and it won’t matter. You’re off limits.”

Now I’m nervous for an entirely different

reason.

“Thanks, bro. I appreciate it.”
“Just helping where I can.”

*

I busy myself in the kitchen getting drinks as

my brother answers the door. With two cans of
soda and a bottle of water I head into the family
room where they’re sitting and laughing about
something. My brother takes his usual spot on the
couch in front of the television. Cole sits in a chair,
leaning his elbows on his knees.

“I hope you don’t mind, I told Sam she could

hang with us,” Tyler explains.

Keeping his focus on my brother, Cole shrugs.

“Whatever. She’s your problem, not mine.”

That’s fucking cold. I want to kick Cole in the

shin. I think about shaking his can and opening it in
his face so it explodes all over him. I don’t. I
remind myself to stay composed. Cole’s acting
normal, I’m the one about to blow our cover.

He looks up at me when I place the

beverages on the table in front of him. His blue
eyes lock on mine and holy fuck the temperature
rises twenty degrees. The earth stops spinning and
I’m light headed. This is the first time we’re
together in my house since we had sex here.

I wonder if he’s thinking about that too,

because the heat in Cole’s stare causes sweat beads
to form on the back of my neck. I take a deep
breath to settle my nerves, but it messes me up
more, because I get a whiff of his cologne. Now I
want to sidle up next to him and bury my face in
the crook of his neck.

Even though I try not to, my eyes linger on

Cole. He’s wearing a tight black tee-shirt and jeans.
Nothing extraordinary, but he looks and smells too
good for a night home alone. That’s where he
claimed he’d be. Now I’m pissed.

I muster up all my strength and break eye

contact with him. I slide onto the couch next to my
brother and fold my legs under me. This seems to
help Cole snap out of his stupor as well. “So what
the hell happened?” he asks.

“My parents lost their fucking minds.”
I don’t say anything, I listen attentively as

Tyler catches his friend up on the latest family
drama. Cole doesn’t let on that he’s heard any of
this before.

“How are you holding up?” Cole directs

toward me.

Surprised that he’s engaging me, I hug a

pillow in front of me and keep my eyes down as I
answer.

“I hate it, but I’m kind of glad. This way we

could all stop lying and pretending everything’s

fine.”

His brow furrows. He stares at me way too

long before asking my brother the same question.

“I know they said I have nothing to do with

his, but I can’t help feeling like it’s my fault.”

“When do you see your shrink?” Cole asks.
“Not for a few days.”
“Do you think this is something you might

want to call him about?”

“He’s a she,” my brother winks at his

friend. “And, no. I’ve got this.”

“If you need me, you know where I am.”
“Thanks man. Let’s talk about something

else. What’s been going on with you?”

“Nothing really.”
“Come on, I’ve been gone almost a month.

You expect me to believe you haven’t had any new
riders on the Cole express?”

“You’re a dick, you know that right?”
“What’s the matter, you’re suddenly

embarrassed about how easy it is for you to find
pussy?”

My heart stops. It’s not like this is anything

I didn’t already know, but hearing it, I want to
throw up.

“Dude, your sister is here.”
Tyler shrugs. “Good. Let her see what guys

are really like, how they talk when they’re with
their friends. This way she doesn’t let the first

douchebag that claims he loves her pull the wool
over her eyes.” My brother turns to me. “We’re all
no good, Sam.”

I don’t know what the fuck my brother is

doing. I shoot Cole a look. I want him to call Tyler
out and prove he’s a liar, but he isn’t even looking
at me. His eyes are glued to my brother.

Cole shakes his head. “Dude, you can’t be

spewing this kind of garbage. I’ve sort of been
seeing this girl. You run your mouth like this and I
come off like a piece of shit.”

“Oh fuck! You have? Why the hell didn’t

you say something? Who is she? Do I know her?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure you do. But I’m not

ready to give names yet,” he says, making sure his
eyes don’t leave my brother. “I want to give it a
little more time, make sure we’re going somewhere,
you know?”

“That’s bullshit.” Tyler, sighs and continues.

“I get it though. This way you don’t have to deal
with all the questions when shit doesn’t work out.
That was half the problem with Caitlin. Everyone
kept asking why I broke up with her and making me
feel like shit about it. ‘Oh, you were so good
together.’ ‘I thought you guys were the real deal.’
Half the reason I couldn’t let go was because other
people didn’t want me to.”

Tyler continues talking, opening up about

him and Caitlin, his anger toward her, and how

guilty he feels about the abortion he would’ve
likely pressured her to have, had he known about
the pregnancy. Neither Cole nor I say much. We
listen and let Tyler vent, until he goes to the
bathroom.

With my brother out of the room, Cole

moves next to me.

“I love these short shorts.” He trails his

pointer finger up the inside of my thigh to the area
between my legs. My heart races. “They give me a
great view of your sweet ass,” he whispers.

My entire body melts at the feel of his warm

breath against my ear. Heat rushes to my cheeks. I
feel them color with a blush. I hate that I can’t
control how my body reacts to him.

“I’m surprised you noticed.” I choke out.
“How could I not? Especially when you’re

bent over with it in my face.”

“My ass was not in your face,” I answer,

with as much sass as I can muster.

“Fine, but you did give me a good look at

it.” He winks.

I roll my eyes and sigh. He looks at me

questioningly. “What’s wrong? It’s not what your
brother said is it?”

“No. Nothing’s wrong.” I hate feeling

insecure. But I’ve had a close up view of Cole’s
dating history. Sort of. I’d hear from Tyler or in
their conversations about the slew of girls he’s gone

out with and fucked in high school and college. I
don’t know Cole to be a cheater, but I do know,
like my brother, he goes through girls more often
than a boxer gets punched in the face.

“Sam?”
“Okay, fine.” I shouldn’t have to ask this

question, but with all the lying and cheating going
on around me, I need to. Especially since I’m not
sure what the hell we are to each other. “You
always look and smell this good for a night at
home?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“It is what your brother said.” He smiles at

me and I swoon. I fucking swoon when I want to
keep my defenses up.

“I’m not home, am I? I’m here, with you.”
Okay, he has a point. “Yeah, but this wasn’t

the plan. It was last minute. And when I spoke to
you it didn’t even sound like you wanted to see
me.”

“Of course I did. Don’t be jelly, princess.”

He takes my hand between both of his. Warmth
spreads through me. It’s a comforting warmth deep
inside that I feel every time he touches me. “I
banked on an invite from your brother. I needed
him to ask me to come.”

I take him at his word and drop it. Cole’s

been amazing and he’s given me no reason not to
trust him, so why don’t I? Because I lost all trust in
the men in my life. Having my brother home and

my father MIA reminds me of that.

It doesn’t help that Cole wants to keep

whatever is going on between us a secret. I
understand why, sort of, but it still stings. I want to
tell my brother, so we can tell everyone else and I
can stop feeling like Cole’s ashamed to be with me.

He wants to wait. His reasons make sense.

It sounds legit, but I have this feeling in the pit of
my stomach. It makes no sense because I know
he’s not that type of guy, but I can’t help worry,
with Tyler around, Cole’s going to kick me to the
curb.

I can either give Cole a chance to prove me

wrong, or wrap my heart in protective bubble wrap
and push him away, which may or may not keep it
from being broken. Because if he moves on, I’ll be
shattered.

“Hey, one way or another, I was going to

find an excuse to stop by tonight,” he says, tugging
on a lock of my hair with a smile.

It’s the smile I can’t resist. The smile that

caused me to take a leap and jump off the roof of a
skyscraper into a free fall when we kissed.

“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re my girl.” He grins and the

heat between my legs melts my panties right off.
My worries evaporate, and my heart skips a beat.
Maybe two. “And I know your taking all this
harder than you let on. I need to make sure you’re

good.”

Cole lunges off the couch and back to his

seat at the sound of footfalls drawing near. All the
warmth he created seconds ago, evaporates and
gives way to a cold chill.

To our surprise, it’s not my brother intruding

on us. It’s my mother.

“Cole.” She says his name with disapproval.

I can’t help but get the feeling that she knows
something’s up with us. She knows I’ve had a crush
on him for years. It never seemed to bother her. I
wonder what changed. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Mom,” Tyler breaks in. “I hope you

don’t mind, I invited him.”

“Oh, Tyler. There you are.” She says in a

much softer tone. “No. Sweetheart, of course not.”

I don’t know what bothers me more. The

fact that her attitude took a one hundred and eighty
degree turn, at the sound of my brother’s voice, or
that she just proved Cole right. My parents aren’t
going to be happy about us.

Quite frankly, I could care less because

they’re not the best role models at the moment.
And honestly, I’m not happy with them.

Chapter 9

Cole

We weren’t careful enough. After Austin

saw us at the library, we had to change venues.
Instead of laying low and cooling things off, I chose
to keep meeting up at Skylar’s Point. Like a selfish
son of a bitch, I had to see her. Touch her. Kiss her.
And I was too chicken shit to bring her home.

We waited until dark and met there. Like

Tyler, my world spun out of control. I became
hooked. Fixated. Only my addiction didn’t form on
a substance. It manifested on a person.

Sammie became my dependency. My

obsession. My vice.

After never having one to get through the

day, I now needed my fix of Sammie at night. She
had me so drawn into my world of fantasy and
illusion, I functioned with my head up my ass.
Because if I a had a sober thought, a rational idea
that didn’t revolve around my unyielding need for
this girl, I never would’ve picked that location.

Too many people.
I thought because it’s dark, and everyone

else there is busy hooking up, that no one would
pay attention to me and who I’m with. Since the
cryptic text I got last night, I realize that’s not the
case.

Unkown: It was nice seeing you at the

point lover boy.

I don’t know the number so I didn’t bother

responding. I have nothing to gain. Someone saw
me. The only question is, did they see and
recognize Sam? I didn’t tell her yet. It’s something
we should talk about in person. But that can’t
happen until her brother knows about us.

I can’t put it off any longer. I have to tell

Tyler. Tonight. Without Sam. Just him and me.
Whatever the consequences.

I rub the back of my neck, close my eyes,

and lean my head back against the rest while I wait
for the light to turn green.

“Before I forget, Sam leaves for college in

two weeks. Do you think you could help move her
into her dorm?”

“Yeah. Sure.”
“You okay?” Tyler asks.
“Fine.” I lie. “Tired from work.”
“Sure. Rub it in,” my friend teases. “With

all the jobs I applied for, I haven’t even gotten a
call back.”

“It’s only been two weeks. You make it

sound like a year.”

“Might as well be. It’s still discouraging.”
“Sorry, man.”
Only, I’m not sorry. I don’t really care and

that makes me feel like an awful person. Even more

so because my mind is on my friend’s sister, and I
can’t tell him that. I can’t tell him that Sam has me
by the balls and she’s squeezing them tight.

She’s pissed that it’s yet another Friday

night and I’m not taking her out. She thinks I’m
embarrassed of her and that I have no intention of
telling Tyler about us.

Ever.
She couldn’t be more wrong.
It’s been nearly impossible to keep my

hands and lips off my best friend’s sister. It’s been
two long weeks of exchanging longing looks when
no one’s watching and creating opportunities to
touch. Sam brushes her fingers against mine when
she hands me a napkin or a drink. My hand finds
the curve of her hips as I walk past her to the
bathroom, or into her brother’s room.

It’s been two weeks of silent torture as we

long to be alone but don’t dare take that chance.
Still, it’s been bearable because we manage to see
each other every night. Until tonight.

This is the first time Tyler’s mother has

agreed to let him go out. I hoped I’d have a chance
to go in the house and look in Sam’s eyes before we
left. Say a quick hello and let her get a glimpse of
how hungry I am for her. That’s why I offered to
pick Tyler up.

Apparently no one gave him the script. He

didn’t know how desperately I wanted to see his

sister. He waited for me outside. Alone. Leaving me
no reason to go in the house and no chance to run
into her.

Sammie threw a hissy fit about us going out

on the prowl. Tyler and his big fucking mouth. I
wanted to reassure her that I’m not pissed.

Hurt yes. Pissed no.
Besides, she should know better. While

Tyler doesn’t know anything is going on between us
yet, when he finds out, he’ll kick my ass if I so
much as look at another girl between now and then.

“You seem off. Your girl upset you’re going

out without her?”

I shrug. What am I supposed to tell him?

Yes, my girl, your sister, is so upset and trusts me so
little, she wants to cut my dick off and store it in a
box?

“Yeah, she’s afraid we’re out looking for

pussy.”

“Hey, Cole. I’m in no position to give

advice, but if she’s so clingy that you can’t hang
out with your friends, or spend a night without her,
maybe you should rethink this?”

“A night? Ty, I’ve been with you every

night since you got home.”

“I guess,” he says, looking out the window.

“I mean since when are you into the relationship
thing anyway?”

Yeah, he’d be singing a different tune if he

knew it was his sister I’m talking about. And that
his big mouth is the reason she’s worried. Okay.
Time to man up. Tonight I’m going to grow a pair.
I’m going to tell him. For better or worse.

Besides, if I don’t tell him, someone else

will. Austin knows. Who knows if he told anyone?
Oh shit, maybe that text came from his brother’s
phone. Maybe he and Zane are playing some sort of
sick practical joke. I can only hope.

How did my life turn into a fucking mess? I

knew that would happen if I stayed with Sam. I just
didn’t expect it to blow up so fast. Like, the second
Tyler got home.

I had reservations about starting something

up with her. Lots of them. But I went against each
and every one.

First, there’s her age. She’s young.

Inexperienced. Sam hasn’t had a real relationship
and I’m not sure what she’s looking for. That being
said, I’m not sure what I want either. Especially
with her leaving for college in a few weeks.

Second, any relationship with Sam is bound

to cause friction with Tyler. It has to. He’s
ridiculously protective of his sister and doesn’t trust
any guy with her. Not even me. He made that clear
after the pillow fight on the couch.

“You ever touch her, and I mean ever, I’ll

cut your dick off and feed it to you for dinner,”
Tyler warns.

“Please, what would I want with her?”
“Don’t. I see how you look at her when you

think no one’s watching. You come alive when she
walks in the room.” He grabs me by the collar, “So
help you, if you ever sprout wood, I’m chopping it
down.”

“Stop.” I shove him off. “She’s your sister.

I don’t see her as a girl. I wouldn’t even know she
is one, if you didn’t keep making such a big deal
about it.”

“Just as long as we’re clear. You keep your

hands, and cock away from her or you have me to
answer to.”

Defiling Sam pretty much constitutes an ass

beating as far as my buddy’s concerned. Maybe
even a beheading. Of both heads.

He doesn’t understand that a guy could fall

for her because she’s smart and sweet. That her
smile wakes him, dick in hand and breathless in the
middle of the night. That Sam runs through his
veins like crack, taking him on a euphoric high,
where even short bouts of time without her leaves
him desperate for more.

My phone chimes. Great, a message. I know

it’s not Sam from the tone. I hope it’s not another
message from unknown.

“Seriously, Cole, you seem really uptight. If

you want to go work shit out with your girl, we can
go out another night.”

“No. She’s not the problem. Well she is, but

tonight, you and me, this is important.”

Even if I could convince Tyler I truly care

about Sam, the biggest reservation I had about
hooking up with her is coming to fruition. It’s Sam
herself.

She’s everything a guy could want. Smart,

and witty. Beautiful and sexy. And incredibly
insecure because she doesn’t see any of it. At all.
That makes her vulnerable and easy to hurt. I shake
the last thought off.

I’m not going to hurt her, because I’m not

giving her enough credit. Sam’s also strong and
determined. I’ve never seen her let anything keep
her down for long.

Even knowing that, sat at the top of her

swing set, small and huddled in the eye of a literal
and figurative storm, I couldn’t stop myself from
joining her. I wanted to hold her. Shelter her. Keep
her safe.

I knew her world was wobbly and off

balance. I didn’t realize at the moment how fast it
spun on the tip of a pin point. It whirled and rocked
until it fell off its axis. I stretched a hand out to her,
but it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t grasp it.

I had to go after her. I was afraid if I didn’t,

she’d be lost forever. I had to reach her. Help. To
stop every bit of pain consuming her. I thought I’m
strong enough for the both of us. I can hold us in

place until the world slows down and rights itself
around her. Now, I’m not sure it ever will.

It’s no surprise, Sam’s jaded after Doug.

After Doug. After Tyler. After her father. I’m just
one in a long line of guys she expects to let her
down. She doesn’t trust me. At all. I knew the
situation with her parents would taint her
perspective, but for her to think the first night I
don’t see her that I’m on the prowl; that threw me
for a loop. Did the last five weeks together not
mean anything?

As I park, another message comes in. I have

a sinking feeling in my stomach that it’s not good.

“Aren’t you going to see what she wants?”

Tyler asks reaching for my phone tucked in the
center console.

“Don’t.” I grab it from him.
“Relax. This chick has you in knots. I’ve

never seen you so uptight.”

“Leave it.” I shoot him a warning look.
“Whatever. If I ever ask if she has a friend,

remind me of this night,” Tyler jokes.

I wait for him to get out of the parked car

before I check the message. It’s unknown again.
This time the person doesn’t say anything, they
send an image. Please let it be a stupid meme.
Please let this be my jackass friend pulling a prank.

I open the pic before I get out of the car,

and my body prepares for battle. Mother fucker

sent a pic of Sam and me hot and heavy in my car. I
shake with rage, ready to lash out at the first person
who looks at me wrong. Another message comes in.

Unknown: Hope you were worth blowing

her life up.

Whoever the fuck this is, is going to wish

they never fucked with me.

I tamp the urge to scream down, but I can’t

control the tensions overtaking my muscles. I
square my shoulders. My jaw tenses.

Me: Tell me who the fuck this is and we’ll

settle it like men.

Unknown: Meet me at Frigid Delight in

thirty minutes. Make sure Tyler’s with you.

Tyler? How the fuck does he know I’m with

Tyler? I look around. This person could be
anywhere. He could be anyone. This is bullshit. I’m
not afraid of this coward.

Me: No deal. This is between you and me.
Unknown: You’ll play it my way or I post

pics all over the internet. I’ll make sure Tyler’s
the first one I send them to. On the up side,
you’re going to be famous. You’ll be liked and
shared on every social media sight. Maybe you’ll
get a gig on a reality show.

Me: If I don’t come?
Unknown: if you don’t show, or tell

anyone, I’ll make sure to send a hard copy to the
Dean of Admissions at the college she’s going to.
I’m sure this is exactly the type of student body

he’s looking for.

I slam my palm against the steering wheel.

Who would do something like this? Before I
answer, my phone buzzes. And again. Two more
images pop up. More pictures from my car. Sam’s
tits are on full display in my hands, and in my
mouth as she straddles me. Sick, perverted fuck had
to be watching us the whole time.

There’s a knock on my window. I jump so

high, I almost hit my head on the roof of the car.
My heart races. Adrenaline spikes through my
veins, my entire body shakes with anger.

It’s Tyler. I don’t know if he saw my screen.

God, I hope not. If he did I’m dead and right now I
need to get to the bottom of who’s fucking with me
and Sam.

I shove my phone in my pocket before

getting out and slam my car door. I do a quick scan
of the parking lot. I don’t see anything or anyone
suspicious. When my eyes meet my friend’s, I can
tell he knows something’s off.

“Want to skip the movie?” He asks.
“Do you mind?”
Ty shakes his head. “Not at all. C’mon, let’s

go.”

Neither of us say anything as I drive away.

Tyler doesn’t ask where we’re going and I don’t
offer anything up on the ten minute drive over to
Frigid Delight. The tension in the car is palpable.

“You want to drop me off at home and call

it night?”

I shake my head, “No.”
I should tell him, I know that. Prepare him

for the wrench about to be thrown at our heads.
Sam’s his sister, and this is going to hurt him as
much, if not more than it’s going to hurt me. But I
don’t mention it. Yet again, I’m a shitty friend.

I don’t mean to be. I don’t know what to

do. I understand that Ty needs to keep his nose
clean and stay on the straight and narrow. The last
thing he needs is to get mixed up in needless drama,
but the son of a bitch wants Tyler there, and he’s
threatening to ruin Sam otherwise.

I can’t let him hurt her. I can’t let anyone

hurt her.

I cut the engine but don’t move to get out.

Neither does my friend.

“What are we doing here?”
“I wish I knew where to start.”
“Just tell me what’s on your mind.”
This is it. The moment of truth.
“There’s a lot on my mind.” I play with the

steering wheel, running my fingers over the bottom,
back and forth. “I need to tell you about the girl
I’m seeing.”

“She’s a keeper isn’t she?”
I nod.
“Hope she’s worth it. She’s got you looking

like a pretzel.”

“She’s worth it, man. She’s very special.”
“As in you love her special?”
I shrug. How do I answer that? I haven’t

really thought about it. I can’t stop thinking about
Sam. I want to spend every minute with her that I
can. I haven’t gone a day without seeing her since
we started hooking up, until today, and look how
that’s working out. I’m about to blow like a
volcano. Add to it all that someone wants to hurt
her, and all I think of is ripping his head off and
shoving it up his ass.

“Maybe.” It’s the most honest answer I can

give. “I’d do anything to stop her from getting
hurt.”

“And you still haven’t told me who she is?

This is bullshit.”

“Yeah. That’s about to change.”
I hesitate, not sure if I want to tell him here

in the car, where it’s less likely that he’ll beat the
shit out of me, or inside when the guy approaches
me. I go with the latter in the hopes that Tyler will
be so pissed at this fucker for threatening his little
sister, he’ll forget to be mad at me.

“Come on, it’s time I come clean.” Still I

give no hint of what’s to come. “But, I have to
warn you, you’re not going to like it.”

I head toward the ice cream parlor before

Tyler could respond.

A bell jingles over the glass door as we step

inside. A tall, thin blonde heads straight for us. A
big smile’s plastered on her pretty, but overly made
up face. I can’t place her. She must be a friend of
Tyler’s. Only, as she gets closer, I realize he’s not
her target. I am.

Her blue eyes lock on mine and her smile

grows wider.

“Hey sexy,” she stands on her tip toes, her

hands rest on my hips as her lips come right at me. I
barely have time to turn my head before her mouth
lands on the corner of mine. I’m momentarily
frozen. Stunned.

“Come on, baby,” she says, wrapping her

arm around my elbow. “You know I’m looking
forward to meeting your friends. You must be
Tyler,” she smiles at him. “I’m Callie.” She presses
herself against my side and leans her head on my
shoulder. I try to slip out of her grasp, without
causing a scene, but it isn’t working.

“Nice to meet you,” my friend responds.

“I’ll give you two a minute while I go hit the head.”

I succeed in pushing Callie off when my

friend disappears around the corner, leading to the
back.

Callie. Who is she? And why does that

name sound so familiar?

“What do you want? And why the fuck are

you touching me?” I growl.

“Follow me.”
Is she serious? Does she really think she can

bark orders at me and I’m going to listen?

“No, thanks. I’m good.”
“Fine.” She leans in and whispers in my ear.

“I’ll tell Tyler all about your rendezvous with his
baby sister.” She pulls back and speaks in a louder
voice. “Or better yet, I’ll pull the pictures of you
and Sam up for him. In fact, I have them blown up
to poster size in my car.” She says, turning away
from me.

I don’t think. I act. React is more like it. I

snag her arm tight in my grasp, turn her around and
step in to her so that I’m in her face. “Don’t you
dare!” I hiss.

Callie looks up at me through her lashes.

And runs her pointer finger down the center of my
chest. “Go ahead and man handle me,” she says,
raising her eyebrows and flashing a wicked smile at
me. “I like it rough.”

I let go immediately and take a step back.

There’s something wrong with this chick. “What do
you want?”

“Follow me.”
This time I do. I need to know what game

we’re playing and why. She stops at an empty
booth near the front of the parlor.

“Sit,” she orders.
With a dirty look, I step in front of her and

take a seat. Just my luck, she scoots in next to me. I
back up into the corner to create distance between
us, but it doesn’t work. She leans against me. If that
isn’t bad enough, she takes it a step further and
slides her hand up my thigh.

I take hold of her hand, “Stop!”
Tyler returns and takes the seat across from

us.

“Play along,” Callie whispers in my ear, “Or

I show him everything.”

“So, how did you guys meet?” Tyler asks.
“It was the craziest thing,” Callie leans

toward him, seemingly happy to engage in
conversation. “I was really depressed this one
night, and I just wanted to get lost looking at the
stars, so I drove up to Skylar’s Point.”

“Alone?”
She nods. “Yes. I know, that’s pretty

fucking desperate. It’s hook up central, but I just
needed some fresh air, somewhere dark where no
one would bother me. I sat on the hood of my car,
and Cole saw me there.” She pauses and uses the
moment of silence to invade my personal space
even more. She’s right up against me, practically
sitting on my lap. One hand plays with the hair at
the back of my neck, while the other moves from
my outer thigh, up and in.

My skin crawls from her touch. I don’t want

her. I don’t want this. I want Sam next to me, I

want Sam’s tits pressed against my arm, not
Callie’s. I reach for her hand again and hold it tight,
to keep her from touching me any further.

“Anyhow, Cole got into an argument with

the girl he brought there. A girl I went to school
with. This mousy brunette. She left him high and
dry, so he came over and joined me on the hood of
my car.” She tilts her head and smiles up at me. “I
fell for him right then and there. He looked so sexy
out there in the moonlight. I couldn’t resist him.”

“If you’ll excuse me. I need to use the

bathroom.”

This is an excuse to get away from Callie. I

move away from her, but it’s not far enough, I’m
still in her reach and she’s not letting go. Maybe
once I pry her fingers off me, Tyler will follow me
and I can explain that this thing with Callie isn’t
real. That she’s not the girl I’m losing my shit over.
Either way I need a minute to call Sam. She needs
to know what’s going on before she hears about it
from Tyler or someone else.

“Wait,” Callie grabs my shirt collar and

pulls me back to her. She leans into me and lands a
hard kiss square on my lips. I turn away from
Callie, get to my feet and head to the bathroom.
“Hurry back, lover boy.”

I want to puke. I have half a mind to go to

scrub my lips until a layer of skin comes off. I don’t
notice until after it all transpires. A pair of green

eyes at the back end of the ice cream parlor are
locked on me.

Green eyes that puncture my heart with a

look of disbelief and betrayal. Green eyes that turn
dark and pained. Death by a thousand cuts
wouldn’t hurt as much.

Chapter 10

Samantha

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” Abby whines, making

me cringe.

“Nah,” I say, to my friend. “I’m just going to

stay home and catch up on my binge watching.”

“You’ve been doing that for like a month

already. You don’t watch that many things to catch
up on.”

“That’s the whole point of binge watching.

You find something new and keep watching until
you’re caught up.”

She sighs. I hate having to lie to her.

Especially since I’m pissed as hell at Cole and
could really use her as a sounding board.

“Look, I know Doug embarrassed you, but

don’t you think it’s time to come out of hiding?”

“I’m not hiding.”
“Like hell you’re not.”
“I’m not. I mean it.”
“Great, then it’s about Cole. Sam, I know

you’ve been crushing on him forever, but nothing’s
happened since that night. You can’t keep waiting,
hoping he’ll come around.”

Abby doesn’t know everything that transpired

between Cole and me. She overheard part of our
conversation at the coffee shop the next day, so I

had to tell her something. I said we kissed before he
drove me to the hospital the night my brother
ODed. Kissed a lot. But nothing since.

I know I can trust her not to say anything. She

is my best friend, I should be able to tell her that
we met secretly every night that my brother was
away. But I haven’t. I promised Cole I’d keep “us”
a secret, so I haven’t elaborated on anything that
happened after we left for the hospital. I told Abby
that Cole admitted he liked me but worried Tyler
and my parents would disapprove, so I’m not sure
where things stand.

I also managed to play up the Doug episode

and how hard it hit me to be humiliated in front of
everyone. I needed an excuse not to see her after I
got off work over the last month and a half so I
could meet up with Cole. Now, she thinks I’m an
emotional wreck. Tonight, though, she might not be
that far off.

“Fine, don’t come to the party. At least meet

me for a cup of coffee or a milkshake. Anything.”

“Okay, Frozen Delights actually sounds pretty

good.” Nothing like drowning your sorrows in ice
cream.

And getting out of the house might get my

mind off of Cole for a minute or two. Sitting here,
wondering where they are and what they’re doing
is driving me crazy.

Tyler’s been home for two weeks, and Cole

still doesn’t want to tell my brother. The situation
hasn’t been terrible since he’s come here every
night to hang out with Tyler and I just happen to be
around the house.

My brother on the other hand, has been

itching to get out. Get out and get laid. He’s been
pleading his case for a chance to earn back a hint of
trust, and tonight he won my mother over. I can’t
help but wonder if Tyler’s getting laid, what will
Cole be doing?

“Yay! Do you want me to pick you up?”
“Sure. That sounds good.”
“Great. I’ll see you in a little bit.”
It’s good for me to get out of the house. This

way I’m not sitting around waiting for him to pop
in. God, I’m pathetic. How did this happen?

*

There are only a handful of people at

Frozen Delights when we arrive. Abby and I place
our orders and find an empty table in the back.

“Come to the party with me tonight.

Please!” Abby’s voice rises about eight octaves. I
hold my breath, waiting for the windows to shatter.
“I really want you to meet him.”

“The last group get together I was at didn’t

go all that well and I’m not sure I’m up for being
laughed at again.”

“That’s what makes this party perfect to go

to. It’s in Freemont, not Bakersfield. None of that

crowd will be there. At least not too many. Best of
all, none of the guys there have been warned off by
Tyler.”

I shake my head. I can’t go. First, I don’t

want to. Second, if Abby’s right and the guys there
don’t know that my brother is a maniac, things
might get weird if a cute guy talks to me and I’m
not into him. Especially since I’m working hard to
“move on” since the Doug incident.

While I’m not a hundred percent sure what

Cole and I are, I know we are something and I
don’t want to risk ruining it.

“I’m sorry, Abby, I’m just not in the mood.”
“Well get in the mood!”
I don’t say anything. I’m staring at the

couple being waited on in the front of the store. I
wish I could unsee them. They aren’t holding hands
or anything, but I still can’t get the image of them
kissing out of my head. If I listen long enough I can
still hear the whispers and laughs buzzing around
me.

My friend follows my gaze, reaches out and

places her hand over mine.

“I’m fine, Abs.” I shift in my seat so I’m not

staring at them head on. Still, my eyes are drawn to
my ex.

As if he could feel me looking at him, Doug

turns and our eyes meet.

“Shit.” I say dropping my eyes. The last

thing I want or need is for him to think I’m hung up
on him.

Within seconds, Doug and Marcus stand at

the head of our table. I want to tell them to go fuck
off, but that might seem like I give a shit, and
there’s a chance Doug might derive a hint of
satisfaction from that. I’m not that generous.

“Hey, Sam. Abby.” Doug greets us.
Abby says hello, I don’t bother answering.
“Sam, can we talk alone a minute.”
“She has nothing to say to you,” Abby

jumps to my defense. “I mean do you really think
you can just act like nothing happened?”

He ignores her. “Sam?”
I shake my head.
“Fine then we’ll sit with you and I’ll say

what I have to right here.”

“What is there to say, Doug? I don’t have a

problem that you guys are together. I have a
problem with you using me as a cover and not
telling me.”

“You’re right. Now can you ladies please

move over and let us sit for a minute?”

“Fine,” I say, with a huff, scooting into the

corner.

Doug sits next to me, Marcus next to Abby.

There’s an awkward moment where we all look at
each other. This is eerily reminiscent of when Doug
and I were together and the four of us hung out.

“I’m really sorry, Sam.” Marcus says,

breaking the silence.

I shake my head. “You have nothing to be

sorry about.”

“I do. I should’ve pushed the dumbass on

his ass when he went in to kiss me that night.”

“Thanks,” Doug smirks at his boyfriend.
“You know I’m right.”
I can’t help but stare at Marcus. I’ve known

him since freshman year. He’s the captain of the
swim team and plays attack on the lacrosse team.
He’s cute, and has a rugged look about him. There
isn’t one thing about his physical appearance that
would hint toward him being gay.

Except his manicured nails. And the guy’s

eyebrows are perfect. They look better than mine.
And his meticulously neat appearance when he’s
not at practice or playing. His clothes don’t even
wrinkle. How the hell is that even possible?

“I just want you to know we weren’t

screwing around behind your back.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You expect me to

believe after never touching Marcus, you looked at
him, knew he was gay and decided to take a huge
risk in kissing him in front of a shit ton of people?
You’d have a better shot of me believing you’re
Batman.”

“I didn’t say we never kissed.” Doug breaks

in. Nervous that other people might be listening,

Doug looks around.

“It sort of happened once before, but just

the one time.” Marcus explains. “I don’t get
calculus. Shit just doesn’t make sense to me.”
Marcus looks embarrassed. “Doug helped me out
before the final. I had to pass or I wouldn’t
graduate.”

“You don’t have to explain to me. I’m not

mad at you, Marcus. I’m really not mad at either of
you.”

“I have to explain, Sam,” Doug takes over.

“Because I really do care about you. I don’t want
you to be hurt, and I feel like shit that you are. I
still consider you a friend. At least I’d like for us to
be friends.”

I offer a fake smile, but Doug knows me

well enough to see through it.

“We only kissed one time.” Doug and

Marcus exchange a look. It’s not a loving look,
more like a troubled, nervous look. “We were
studying at Marcus’ house,” Doug leans in and
speaks in a low voice. “His parents weren’t home.
We were hanging out in the back yard.”

“We both had a few beers and we were

talking about what it’s like to have to pretend to be
something you’re not,” Marcus explains. “I was
scared shit because here I am, a fucking jock with
girls hanging off me and yet it always feels like
something’s missing. I felt comfortable with Doug. I

was curious and took a chance.”

“Same here. What’s worse is while Marcus

wasn’t serious about anyone, I had you, and I knew
how lucky I was because you’re amazing and I
enjoyed being with you. And it’s not like I wasn’t
attracted to you. It’s just, something was missing.”

“And yet you couldn’t tell me any of this in

private, you had to do it in front of everyone?”

Doug swallows and I could see he’s nervous

about something. What more could he be nervous
about?

“You know who lives behind my house?

Whose backyard is diagonal to mine?” Marcus
asks.

I shake my head, not sure why this is

important.

“Callie.” Marcus answers, and my stomach

twists like it’s being put through a ringer. “She
fucking saw us.”

“We weren’t ready to come out,” Doug

said. “Honestly, I’m not even a hundred percent
sure where I’m at.”

“Yeah and now everyone thinks we’re

straight up gay.”

“So? Again you could’ve said something to

me and I would’ve wished you well and not told
our entire graduating class.”

“Except Callie threatened to tell everyone,”

Marcus explains. “She strongly encouraged us to

come out at the bonfire, and threatened if we
didn’t, she’d out us and tell everyone there we’ve
been fucking for months.”

“And that was worse why?”
“Because we were scared,” Doug admits.
“We thought if we kissed and acted like we

didn’t give a shit we’d have the power.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. You played

right into her hand.”

“And what if we didn’t?” Marcus asks.

“Then she spews her shit and everyone looks at
you and whispers wondering if what they heard is
true. Wondering if Doug is only using you to fool
everyone into thinking he’s straight.”

“They think that anyway!” Are these guys

for real? “You could’ve told me, warned me.” I
reiterate, looking at my ex.

“She said if I told you, she’d tell everyone

that we’re covering for each other because you’re a
lesbian and Abby’s your lover.”

“Fucking bitch!” Abby lets out. “What did I

ever do to her?”

“Like I pissed in her soup? You’re my best

friend. She hates you by extension.”

“Well,” Marcus hems and haws. “I heard

Hunter, her ex has been going around saying he
dumped her because he wants to fuck you before
he leaves for college.”

“That’s crazy. I don’t even know him. And

it’s not like I can control who someone else is
attracted to. And if my brother catches wind of
that, he’s going to beat the shit out of him.”

“Look, Sam, I wanted you to know. I

thought it was about gay shaming Marcus and me,
but now I see this was all about hurting you. She
hasn’t said two words to us since that night. And
she looked so happy and full of herself when you
ran off crying.” Doug explains.

“But you being out of sight over the last

month isn’t giving her the satisfaction she’s looking
for,” Marcus warns.

“How do you know that?”
He shrugs. “I heard her asking around about

the guy you’re seeing.”

Abby gives me a questioning look with

raised brows. I pretend not to see it.

“So what I should parade around and act

like I’m heartbroken to give Callie satisfaction?”

“No, Sam. I’m doing what I should’ve done

then, I’m being a friend and telling you the truth.”
Doug looks sincere, and I know I should believe
him. Maybe even thank him.

“This way,” Marcus interjects. “You can

watch your back.”

I don’t say anything for what feels like

hours. “Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I’m sure this
wasn’t easy for you.”

“I had an easier time telling my father I’m

bi, than admitting all this to you,” Doug says.

“Okay, if you excuse me,” I say, with a

smile. A real one this time. “I have to go use the
ladies room.” Doug gets out of the booth allowing
me my escape.

“Speak of the fucking devil,” Doug says.
My eyes follow his line of vision, just as

Callie kisses COLE!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Her mouth is on his, and the wind is

knocked from me. I can’t swallow. I can’t breathe.
My throat constricts. Sharp intense pain rips across
my chest. It’s barren. Empty. My once beating
heart has been ripped out. Forcibly removed. All
that’s left is raw pain.

I can’t move. I want to. I want to go rip

every fucking hair out of her head, but I can’t force
my feet to budge. She’s hanging on him like a
pathetic fucking leech, touching him, reaching for
him as he gets to his feet.

“Sam?” I think I hear my name, but I’m not

sure. All I hear is the blood pounding in my ears.
“Sam, what’s wrong?” Abby asks.

I hate Callie. I fucking hate her. But most of

all, I hate the boy I thought I loved. The man I
believed would be different from all the other
scumbags in my life and never hurt me. I hate the
fucking poser I handed my body and soul to. The
jackass that promised to be true to me. I fucking

hate, hate, HATE Cole Andrews!

Chapter 11

Cole

I want to run to Sam, but I can’t draw

attention to myself. Not from Tyler or Callie. Not
before I talk to her. I extend each stride and move
with urgency. I need to get to her.

Sam’s headed toward the bathroom. No

doubt to avoid me. I don’t care. I can’t let this go.
We need to talk right now. If I don’t get there in
time, I’ll wait by the door for her to come out.
Maybe I’ll follow her in. This is too important. I
won’t leave without making this right.

Seeing the pain in Sam’s eyes sliced me

open. Tyler’s not in the equation anymore. Not if it
means hurting her. It doesn’t matter if he’s ready
for this or not. I need to come clean about us.

“Sam!” I call, once I’m close enough.
She doesn’t stop or turn around.
“Samantha, princess!”
“Don’t call me that!” She spins on her heal

and points at me. “I am NOT your princess. I’m not
your anything!”

Her green eyes are dark. Dangerous. Full of

fire and fury. Anger contorts her beautiful face.
I’ve never seen her look like this. Ever.

I’m frozen in place. My voice wavers,

“Sam, please, I can—”

“What? Explain?” She asks in the nastiest,

most condescending tone I’ve ever heard. “No.
You. Can’t. There isn’t one damn thing you can say
that would make me consider forgiving you. You’re
a liar, just like my brother and Doug. And a cheat
just like my father. I have no room for a piece of
shit like you in my life.” She storms into the
bathroom.

I consider following her inside, but then

what? She’s clearly not ready to talk, I need her to
cool down so she can understand that I did all this,
I allowed this to happen, so I could protect her. I
did it all for her. For my princess. Losing her was
never an option.

I stand there, with my feet cemented to the

ground. What the fuck do I do? I’ve never seen her
so angry. I pull my phone out and send her a text
message.

Me: I’m sorry, Sam. Please come out so

we can talk.

There’s no response. I head into the men’s

room because I’m afraid I look like some sort of
pervert waiting outside the women’s room. I splash
water on my face while I wait for her to respond.
Nothing.

I should go back out there, bust into the

ladies room and tell Sam the truth. I need to set
Callie straight, call her bluff. But then Sam may get
hurt and I would have hurt her for no fucking

reason. No. That’s not how this is going to go down.

Callie hurt my girl, now I hurt her.

*

I storm out of the men’s room, and only

take a few steps when I see Callie coming my way
with a pissed off look on her face. She has got to be
kidding. She’s acting like we’re a real couple and
she’s a jealous shrew.

Good we can have it out right here, right

now.

“What took you so long?” She asks, coming

toe to toe with me.

“None of your fucking business.”
“You saw her didn’t you? That mousy little

wench.”

I grab Callie’s upper arm and back her up

into the wall of the alcove where the restroom
doors are. “Don’t you ever talk about Sam like
that!”

“What’s the matter? Your little fuck hole in

a pissy mood because you’re here with me? With
someone you’re not ashamed to be seen in public
with?” Callie’s voice is loud. Too loud.

“No worries,” Sam’s voice sounds from

behind me. “I’m done with him. You’re more than
welcome to my sloppy seconds. And I’ll make sure
when I see Hunter tonight that I show him how
much better I can make him feel than you can.
After all, he thought a backseat fuck with me was

worth more than anything you had to offer. In
public or private.”

Callie’s jaw drops. I’d like to say hers is the

only one, but mine is on the floor next to hers.
Sam’s going to see Hunter later? Who the fuck is
Hunter and what the fuck happened in his
backseat?

“He wouldn’t be caught dead with you.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Sam shoots an

evil smile at Callie. “You know how much he wants
me, besides, you shouldn’t mind. You’re with Cole
now. I made sure to send that message along to
Hunter.”

Callie lunges forward. I grab her around her

waist to stop her from attacking Sam. Callie’s
phone rings. She settles down and pulls it from her
pocket. Twisting her mouth, she storms passed me
with a shove to the chest and slams the door to the
ladies room open while she greets whoever is
calling.

“Who’s Hunter?”
“None of your fucking business.”
“Don’t be stupid, Sam.”
“Stupid? Really? Wow, do you have a lot of

nerve.” She shakes her head.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. This

isn’t what it looks like.”

“Of course it isn’t. It never is. I

misunderstood her skanky lips on yours. That’s all

it is, a misunderstanding.”

Sam’s voice is cold and aloof. So different

than the warm, caring girl I’ve known for years.

“Come with me. You’re brother’s up front.

We’ll go tell him. Right now. Then we can work on
fixing this.”

“Fixing this?” Her lips curl up in the

corners. “Don’t bother. If you say anything to my
brother at this point, all it will do is prove that
you’re a selfish son of a bitch, just like every other
man.”

“Where is this coming from? Just a few

hours ago you wanted me to tell him.”

She nods. “A few hours ago I thought you

were a decent guy. Thanks for proving me wrong.”

“You don’t mean that. Once I tell him—”
“Why would you do that? Why hurt him for

no reason? My brother needs a friend. Someone he
can count on. Too bad that’s you. You’ll only fuck
it up.”

“Sam—”
She holds up her hand stopping me. “Don’t

risk his progress because you think it’ll help your
cause with me. It won’t. There’s nothing between
us, Cole. There never was, and there never will be.”

“That’s bullshit!”
She ignores me as she pushes past me. I let

her because I don’t know how to right this ship.
She’s stubborn when she’s mad. I’ll wait her out

until she calms down. That’s the only chance I have
of reasoning with her. I’ll spend the night at Tyler’s
place, and we can figure shit out together, the three
of us.

Callie comes out of the bathroom and

narrows her eyes at me.

“You cost me everything!”
“Me? What the fuck are you talking

about?” I need to set this bitch straight right now.
“Until half an hour ago, I didn’t know you existed.”

“We were working things out until that cunt

got to him.”

I advance on her. I’ve had enough of this

bitch, and she needs to change her tune right now.
“You do NOT talk about Sam like that. Do you
understand?” I’m in her face and she looks
uncomfortable. “You’re the one that started this.
You and your fucking pictures. So here’s what’s
going to happen. You’re going to give me your
phone so I could delete them, and so help me if
anything is put out anywhere, my response to
Hunter and everyone in ear shot is going to be you
were so desperate to fuck me, you watched and
begged to be next. When I turned you down, you
wanted revenge and circulated these pics.”

“No one’s going to believe you.”
“Really? I have a whole lot of witnesses

here that saw you hanging all over me, not the
other way around. Test me. I dare you. Let’s see

who has the upper hand. Especially with Hunter.”

Chapter 12

Samantha

Vibrations from the loud bass pound like an

external heartbeat. I blink my eyes to clear my
whacked out vision. It doesn’t help much. I can
almost ignore seeing double. What I can’t ignore is
the room spinning sideways.

Maybe I should look for Abby. I agreed to

come to the party, but I haven’t seen her since she
introduced me to Miguel and Hunter approached
me. She probably thinks Hunter is the best thing
that could happen to me tonight. No one knows
better than Abby that seeing Cole and Callie
destroyed me. She’s only listened to me obsess over
him non-stop for the last three years.

Even my best friend doesn’t realize how

deep a gash he sliced in my heart. As much as I
wanted to confess every dirty secret I have about
him and me together, I didn’t. Not out of some
sense of obligation to the promise I made to him.
That’s gone. I just don’t want my best friend to
know what a gullible idiot I am.

I believed him. I trusted him. And now I’m

paying the price.

Operation Move On has officially begun.
Hunter hands me another red solo cup. My

fifth of the night. I’m starting to think I should’ve

stopped at two, but after the second, I still had flash
backs of Callie and Cole kissing, and my chest
ached with every breath.

“I’m so glad you messaged me and offered

to meet up. It was a nice surprise.”

“Yeah, me too,” I lie. “I had no idea you

even knew who I was until today.”

“Of course I did,” he smiles. “I know all the

beautiful girls. How are you feeling?” Hunter wraps
his arm around my waist and pulls me close. It’s not
hard to see why Callie’s attracted to him. Even
through my crappy vision he looks adorable.

According to Abby, he’s a half way decent

guy too. He definitely has a top spot as one of
Bakersfield’s most eligible guys. Abby claims,
before Doug and Marcus’ little confession, she’d
heard Hunter dumped Callie because he doesn’t
want to be linked to her nasty-ass attitude anymore.

“I’m fucking wasted,” Hunter says, before

nuzzling the crook of my neck.

His lips are foreign to me. I don’t lose

myself to them the way I do with Cole’s. They
don’t make me shiver and cover all over with goose
bumps as they move over my skin. Hunter’s mouth
grazes my collarbone, and I giggle instead.

“I was right about you,” he pulls back and

says, with a smile. “I knew you were fun. You just
needed to let loose.” His hands slide under my shirt.

I should stop him. This isn’t who I am,

especially not in front of a crowd of people. But I
want them all to see us together. I want that bitch to
know we hooked up, and I want Cole to know he’s
nothing special. Just another guy.

Besides, Hunter’s cute and I’ve had his

undivided attention for the last hour and a half. It’s
nice to have someone show an interest in me with
other people around, and not just when he’s ready
to fuck. Best of all is knowing every time he
touches me, it’s like throwing a dagger at Callie and
drawing blood.

Hunter is a good way to forget about Cole.

The perfect way. To forget what it felt like to kiss
him. To be touched by him. Nothing better than a
new set of hands and lips to forget the old ones.

“Body shots!” A voice in the crowd calls

out.

I look over to the group of guys cheering. A

girl I’ve never seen before, stands in front of them
in her underwear. She removes her bra with a
teasing look and tosses it to the side. She’s left in
nothing but a flimsy g-string.

“Who wants to go first,” she says, not

bothered at all that all the guys around her are
gawking and closing in.

A few guys shout “me” at the same time. I

have no idea who said it first. I watch as she’s led
to a card table a few feet away and lays down on it.
The host of the party, Logan, pours brownish

alcohol I think is rum, onto the girl’s naval. One of
the onlookers joins the fun and licks it off.

The girl cheers along with the group. Guys

close in and I can’t see any more, but I’m intrigued.

“Titty shots!” Someone from the crowd

yells. Alcohol is poured over one breast, and then
the other, as two different guys lick it off her.

“Come on, I know you’re not into this,”

hunter wraps his arm around my waist and takes a
step in the opposite direction.

“No. Wait. I want to watch.”
“I think maybe you drank a little too

much,” he says, taking the solo cup away from me.

I shake my head. I’m starting to feel good.

“I think I haven’t drank enough.” I take my cup
back and down the rest of the piss-like beer. “How
about you?” I ask. “You want to do body shots?”

“Thanks, but I rather spend my time with

you.” He speaks directly into my ear. I giggle in
response. He takes this as an invitation to stick his
tongue in my ear. I push him away playfully.

“I was talking about me, silly. Want to do

body shots off of me?”

He narrows his eyes, “Are you serious.”
“Dead serious.” I drag my teeth over my

bottom lip.

“Fuck yeah!” Hunter pulls me close and

kisses me hard on the lips. His tongue pushes its
way between them, and I meet it with my own.

There’s no funny feeling in my belly. No racing
pulse. But kissing him wakens a hunger inside me.
So does the feel of his hands on my ass.

I lift my shirt over my head. I don’t know if

anyone else is looking at me, but Hunter’s eyes
rake over me with hunger, and that’s all that
matters. He doesn’t wait for something to be
poured on me, he dips his head to the area between
my breasts and drags his tongue down the center of
my cleavage as his hands reach around back to the
clasp of my bra.

I close my eyes and savor the sensation. It

feels good to be wanted. Until I’m pushed away
and stumble backward.

“What the fuck?” Hunter sounds pissed.
“Dude, you need to walk away from her.”
A tall, dark, and dominating figure stands

between us. It takes me a few seconds to recognize
Zane. We don’t talk much, so I’m not sure what
he’s doing or why. With his back to me, he crosses
his arms over his chest and waits for Hunter to
respond.

“Nah, man. You’re the one that needs to get

the fuck out of here.” Hunter steps toe to toe with
him.

“C’mon, Hunter, I’m looking out for you.”
“I don’t need you to look out for me. I need

you to mind your fucking business.”

Zane takes hold of Hunter’s arm. “I’m

doing this as your friend. Look at her,” Zane
glances over his shoulder at me. “She’s fucking
trashed. You don’t walk away now, some things
going to happen that she’s going to regret. Then
what? Then she “Me too’s” you, and your life is
screwed.”

Hunter shakes his head. “She contacted

me.”

“It doesn’t matter. I know her, and this isn’t

like her. If her brother hears about this, and that
you took advantage of the situation, he’s going to
come after you. He’s one of Austin’s friends, and
super protective of her.”

Fuck! I need to stop Zane before he scares

Hunter off.

“Go away, Zane.” I give him a little push,

but he doesn’t budge and inch. “No one wants you
here.”

He ignores me, as if I didn’t say a word.
“I’m not looking for any trouble.” Hunter

sounds like he’s wavering. “I just want to have a
good time.”

“I get that. But I’m telling you, this good

time is going to haunt you.”

“What do you want, Samantha?” Hunter

asks.

“I want you.” I push around Zane and take

Hunter’s hand. “I want to have a good time with
you. If it’ll shut you up, you can party with us too,”

I say, turning to Zane. He knows Cole. Anything I
do that Zane sees will eventually get back to Cole.

“See what I mean?” Zane says to Hunter.

“She doesn’t know what she’s offering up, and I
guarantee she’s going to regret it in the morning.
Even if she initiates it, she’s drunk. She’s a virgin
and sex with her in this condition will be classified
as sexual assault.”

Hunter looks uncomfortable and takes a

step back.

“So I walk away and you hook up with

her?”

“No. I’ll see to it she gets home safe. You

could even come with. I don’t want her crazy-ass
brother coming after me.”

“Is he really that bad?”
“I can handle Tyler,” I plead my case.
The guys ignore me. It’s like what I have to

say doesn’t matter. Like I’m not even fucking
there.

“When it comes to Sam, yeah, he is.”
Hunter runs his hand through his hair and

lets out a long sigh. Fuck! I can’t believe Zane
messed this up.

“I’m sorry, Samantha, maybe this isn’t such

a good idea. Maybe we should, you know, get
together another night.”

“What? No!”
Hunter kisses me on top of my forehead.

“I’ll go see if I can find your friend. We’ll meet up
in a day or two. I promise.”

I watch Hunter walk away, and shove

Zane’s chest hard.

“Jackass!”
“You’ll thank me for this tomorrow.”
“No, I won’t.” The searing pain starts to

sharpen again. “I know what I’m doing! I wanted to
fuck him so I could hurt Callie and forget—” I
catch myself before I say anything more. No one
needs to know what an idiot I am for falling for
Cole. For handing him my heart.

Zane doesn’t push me for details. He hands

me my shirt. “Put this on.”

“I don’t take orders from you,” Shirt in

hand, I give him a shove.

“Okay, have it your way.”
He picks me up and tosses me over his

shoulder. I want to pound on his back and yell at
him to put me down, but my stomach roils and the
drinks I downed threaten to make their way up and
out of my stomach. I’m afraid if I open my mouth I
going to blow chunks.

Zane doesn’t stop moving until we’re in

front of his truck. He sets me on my feet and
stabilizes me.

“What the fuck are you thinking?” Zane

snaps. “You want to be responsible for that guy’s
death? Because when your brother finds out, he’s

going to kill the fucker.”

“I wasn’t panning on telling him!” I’m

somewhere between yelling and crying as I clench
my spasming stomach.

“You might not, but someone will. There

were enough people there that know you.”

“I was counting on that. I want everyone to

know . . .” I cover my mouth with my hand.

The back of my throat burns as the

combination of my dinner and beer shoot up.

I can’t hold it down anymore. I lean over

just in time. Tears pour out of my eyes as my
stomach erupts with unyielding force.

Neither of us speak for a few minutes until

I’m done puking and can stand straight again. Zane
reaches into his pick-up truck and hands me a
bunch of tissues.

“Maybe you should thank me. How would

you feel if you threw up like that all over Hunter.”

I cross my arms over my chest, and look at

Zane with small, angry eyes. My head throbs and I
have a terrible taste in my mouth. What’s worse is
that he’s right. I’d feel a whole lot worse and
wouldn’t be able to show my face anywhere if
Hunter and I were messing around and that
happened. It doesn’t change the fact that right now,
I just want to die.

“Get in, I’ll drive you home.”
I shake my head and bite my lip. “No.”

“You’re not going back in there. You’ve had

enough to drink, and the only reason you’re not
being gang-banged right now is because I saw you,
and Hunter is a decent guy with too much to lose.
Any of those other scumbags would be sharing you
with his friends right about now.”

“I don’t want to go home.” I sniffle and

wipe my eyes. “Please, Zane, I can’t be there.”

“Why not?”
“I just can’t. It’s hurts too much. Okay. And

I don’t want to hurt anymore. I want to forget.
That’s all I want. Please. Help me forget.”

He brushes his hand down the side of my

cheek. “Who hurt you?”

I shake my head, fighting to hold the tears

in. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does. Did your brother do

something?”

“No. Nothing like that. Just this guy. I

thought I loved him. Please don’t make me go back
home. Please, Zane.” I run my hands over his
warm, hard chest, his body’s so strong and
sculpted. Even more so than Cole. I squeeze my
eyes tight. “I don’t want to think of him anymore.
Help me stop the pain.”

“How do I do that?” Zane’s chest heaves.
“You know what I want,” I say, placing his

hands on my waist and closing in so that our chests
touch. “What I need.”

He hesitates, and I’m afraid he’s going to

turn me down and drive me right back to my house.
I use my eyes to beg, plead with him to help me.

“Okay.”

Chapter 13

Cole

“You’re a mess.”
“Thanks.” Tyler’s right. I am a fucking

mess. I run my hand through my hair for the five
hundredth time in the last twenty four hours. I’m so
tired I can’t see straight.

“I feel like shit. You’ve been great since I

got home and now that you need a distraction, I
haven’t helped one bit.”

He’s referring to what he believes to be my

very public break-up with Callie. She made a
fucking scene, screaming in the ice cream parlor
how I ruined her life. Funny, I’m pretty sure it’s the
other way around.

“I can’t stop worrying about my sister

though. This isn’t like her. She hasn’t answered any
of my texts.”

Mine either. Or my calls. I close my eyes

and rub the back of my neck.

“I know, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be going on

about her, but I feel terrible. I didn’t realize she was
even at Frozen Delights, or that she ran into her ex
and his boyfriend. If Doug didn’t come say
something I never would’ve known. Poor kid. That
had to be awkward.”

Awkward. To say the least. But that wasn’t

the worst of it, and I don’t know if I should tell him
or not. I’ve been conflicted since he came home,
but I was ready to man-up and tell him after the
confrontation between Callie, Sam and I. Until Sam
ran off and shut me out.

Instead I kept my mouth shut, hoping if I

did, I could coax him into letting me spend the
night here. This way I’d be able to talk to her and
work shit out. Only, she never came home and now
we’re both a fucking wreck.

Sam called her mother and claimed to be so

upset with everything going on in her life, that she’s
spending the night at her friend Abby’s. It wasn’t
until sometime around two in the morning when
Abby messaged Tyler to see if Sam made it home
okay that we lost our shit. That was eight hours
ago. Where the fuck can she be? And who is she
with?

“I mean what if she’s strung out

somewhere?” Tyler asks.

“Sam’s too smart for that.”
“So was I, yet I almost fucking died.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think that’s the

problem. I think she’s with someone and just
doesn’t want to be found.”

“Yeah, but who?”
That’s a really good fucking question. My

guess is that Hunter guy she and Callie argued over.
My blood boils thinking about her with another guy.

My hands tense and ball up into fists as I imagine
him putting his hands on her. I need to light a fire
under Tyler for him to get his parents involved.

“I think it’s time to let your mother in on

the fact that Sam’s missing.”

“I don’t know. There’s been so much

friction between my sister and my parents. I don’t
want to make things worse and push her over the
edge. Then again, if she’s in trouble, or if someone
is hurting her. . . Maybe your right.”

Tyler’s finally starting to waver. Thank.

Fucking. God. I’m ready to slit my wrists open with
worry and he doesn’t want to get her in trouble. I
don’t care if she’s grounded until the end of time
after pulling this shit.

“I just don’t want to make things worse if

all she needed was a little breather away from
everyone. Maybe if I took a minute to take care of
myself—”

“This isn’t about you, Tyler. This is about

Sam being a spoiled brat and running off when
things got rough.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little harsh, man?”

He picked a hell of a time to get soft on her. “I
mean her world has been turned upside down.
Between me, and our parents and that douche
Doug. And then, who knows if she saw you and
Callie together, that would’ve been the icing on the
cake.”

“Me and Callie?” My heart leaps. Does he

know? Did she tell him? Can I can be honest about
how sick with worry I am right now? That my
heart’s shrieking in agony over his baby sister.

“They don’t get along and from what I

understand, Callie’s been trashing Sam about how
her ex broke up with her and . . .”

I tune him out. Of course. He just knows

Callie’s a bitch. He doesn’t know I could give two
fucks about Callie. It’s the other girl I want. The
one that’s off limits. He isn’t hinting an approval
for Sam and me. This proves I’m too tired and
emotional to think rationally.

“Naturally, I was surprised when I found

out she’s the same Callie that Sam went to high
school with. It’s not like you to date someone so
much younger. Good thing it was her and not my
sister, though. I’d have to cut your dick off if you
ever went near Sam.”

I close my eyes and nod.
“I’m sorry. I’m an insensitive prick. I know

you were crazy about Callie, but to be honest, I just
can’t see you two together.”

I want to shout, that’s because I’d never be

with a girl like that. A phony, self-serving bitch. I
want someone real, that I can share my days with
and trust when we can’t be together.

My phone rings. Thank God. I need a

diversion from this conversation.

“Hey, Austin, what’s up?”
“Here’s a question, do you have any idea

why Sam Stone just walked out of my brother’s
bedroom?”

“WHAT!?!”
I’m shattered. Like a pane of glass slammed

by a wrecking ball.

That’s what friends are for. To use your

heart to score a field goal from the forty seven yard
line. Mother fucker. I want to die.

She was with Zane. All night long. While I

was up, pacing the floors, waiting for her. Zane. My
friend’s brother. Someone I fucking know!

“What the hell happened?”
I fucked up, that’s what.
I clear my throat, buying myself a second to

calm down and decide whether or not I should
mention to Tyler that his sister has been found.

“I’m at Ty’s,” I say, hoping that’s enough of

an explanation to keep Austin from pushing the
issue.

“Ahh. I take it he still doesn’t know?”
“No. And at this point . . .”
“You’re not sure if it’s worth telling him.”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t know, Cole. I just know shit’s

getting out of hand, and it’s going to be a lot worse
if he finds out from someone else.”

I don’t want to deal with this right now. I

have enough on my plate, I don’t need an I-told-
you-so-lecture, too.

The house alarm chimes. I know what that

means. She’s home.

Finally.
My heart sinks. Instead of looking forward

to seeing her, I’m dreading it. I’ll do whatever I can
to avoid it.

“Listen, I got to go—“
“I know. I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks.” Pissed, I throw my phone on my

friend’s bed.

Tyler’s down the steps before I can utter a

word. My leg bounces with nervous energy. As
much as I want to see for myself that she’s okay, I
stay put.

I’m afraid when I see her, I’m going to go

off. She spent the night with Zane. In his arms. In
his bed.

Sickening images of them writhing naked

and sweaty run through my head. What am I
supposed to do? The only thing I can think of at the
moment is to rip the fucker’s head off, but he’s not
the one at fault. She is.

I stay put. Glued to the spot that I’m sitting

on.

“I don’t care if Mom’s pissed, I’m not

staying!” She shouts.

Is she kidding? I scrub my hand over my

face. She just got home after a night of screwing my
friend’s brother, and she’s looking to go out again?

I knew better than to fall for Sam, but I let

her crawl under my skin anyway. And now, I can’t
clear my head of her. I rest my elbows on my
knees, lean forward and hold my head. I close my
eyes and gather my bearings as I listen to the raised
voices downstairs.

“If talking to me meant that much to her,

she’d be here, waiting for me, not out buying
clothes or getting her hair and nails done. I’m
picking up some stuff and getting the hell out of
here!”

“Calm down, Sam.”
“You don’t understand, Tyler.” Her voice

changes. It’s high pitched and rings with pain and
desperation. “I can’t be here. He’s everywhere I
look. Everywhere. I just want to forget him.”

I want to feel bad for her, feel an ounce of

compassion instead of being a heartless prick, but I
don’t. I’m glad she’s hurting. I don’t want to be the
only one nursing a shredded heart.

“Sam, I know this is hard on you. But

you’re not alone anymore. You’ve got me.”

Silence.
I don’t know what’s going on down there. I

know the “he” she wants to forget isn’t Doug. I was
with her the night they broke up. She seemed more
hurt by Callie and the nasty things coming out of

her mouth than by Doug. How much could he have
meant? It took her all of five seconds to forget him
and offer herself up to me.

Oh fuck!
That’s what she did with Zane. Throw

herself at his feet to forget me. This is a fucking
pattern. How could I be so full of myself that I
didn’t see this coming? What kind of huge-ass ego
do I have to think the reason she wanted me to be
her first is because she has real, deep feelings for
me, like the ones I have for her?

I need to get the fuck out of here. Up until a

minute ago, all I wanted was to see her with my
own eyes and know that she’s okay. Now, I’m a
power keg ready to explode, and coming face to
face with Sam is going to light my fuse.

She storms up the steps and slams the door

to her room.

“Get your ass out here,” Tyler pounds on

her door. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t need to talk, I need out.”
I have a safe path to my car. I take this as

my cue to leave.

“Hey, Ty, I’ll talk you to later, okay?”
My friend turns to me. I’m struck by the

worry in his eyes. Eyes the same deep green color
as Sam’s. I should stay here with him, but I know
I’ll only make the situation worse. I’m of no use to
anyone right now.

I close the door to my car and crank the

engine. A few more seconds and I’m out of here. I
reach for my phone, but it’s not in my pocket.
Fuck! I know exactly where it is. On Tyler’s bed. I
thought I was home free, without seeing Sam and
losing my shit.

The bitch of it is, I can’t even call Tyler and

ask him to bring the phone out to me. Just fucking
wonderful, this day just keeps getting better.

I head back into the house. No one’s in the

kitchen. I don’t hear Tyler banging anymore. That’s
good. Maybe she opened up and they’re in her
room talking. One could hope. I take the steps two
at a time. I’m on a mission; get upstairs, grab my
phone and get the hell out.

With my phone in hand, I take a breath. I’m

two thirds of the way through. I’ve got this!
Leaving Tyler’s bedroom, something slams into me.
I freeze. Good thing I wasn’t at the steps yet.

“Watch where the fuck you’re going!” Sam

shrieks shoving me out of her way.

That’s it. I can’t take anymore. My eyes

lock on her, and like a raptor with razor sharp
talons, I’m on the attack.

“Look who decided to get off her back and

make an appearance.”

She slaps me at the same time Tyler calls my

name.

“Cole! That’s my sister.”

“I know who and what she is.” I look her

over from head to toe realizing I don’t know her at
all. “The question is do you?”

“Shut up, Cole.” Sam stands stiff and still,

with the hint of a tremble in her voice.

I’m laser focused on her, but through my

peripheral vision, I see Tyler’s eyes moving back
and forth between us.

“Where were you last night?” My voice is

louder than it should be, but who gives a fuck? At
this point, not me.

“None of your business.”
I grab her arm. “Where were you?”
Tyler pulls my hand off Sam.
“I was at Abby’s.”
“You’re a lying bitch.”
“Whoa! Don’t be such a dick,” Tyler warns,

glaring at me.

Too bad. The only thing I can be at the

moment is a dick. I’m hurting unlike anything I’ve
ever known, and it’s her fault. I want, no, I need, to
hurt her back. And this is the only way I know how
to do that.

“Tell him where you were, Sam.” My eye

twitches.

She’s nervous. Her mouth opens. Her eyes

shoot to her brother, but she says nothing. Not even
a sound. Good. I caught her by surprise.

“What’s the matter? Afraid your brother’s

going to learn the truth about you? That when your
hurt you lie on your back and spread your legs for
the first guy that comes along?” I see the sting of
my words on her face. In her eyes. But a sting isn’t
enough. I want to inflict massive pain. Pulverize
her.

“What the fuck, Cole?” Tyler reaches out

and grabs me by my collar. “You don’t talk to her
like that. Ever.”

“Did you tell him he was your first, too?”
“The fuck?!” Tyler’s grip tightens, and I’m

pushed back until I hit the wall behind me. I don’t
feel it though. All I feel is the sharp, slashing pain in
my chest, pain that rips me apart with every breath.

“Tell him where you were last night.”
“Don’t do this, Cole.” Tears roll down her

cheeks.

“Tell him who you fucked last night!” I

push us all to the brink.

“Did you fuck my sister?” Tyler yells.
I take my eyes off of Sam and look at my

friend. Although I’m not sure I can still call him
that any longer. Anger contorts his face, Every
visible part of him is a deep shade of red, and he
looks like his head is going to explode any second.
Right along with my heart.

“Please, Cole.” Sam pleads, “Stop!” But it’s

too late. The damage is already done.

“Answer me, damn it!” Tyler pulls me

toward him then shoves me hard, into the wall
again. My head slams against it so hard, I’m not
sure it didn’t break through the sheet rock.

Sam shrieks. “Tyler, No!” She pulls his arm

with his cocked fist back. “Stop!”

Her brother doesn’t hear her. His eyes are

locked on mine, working to threaten, to intimidate
me. Not today I’ m done with this. Done hiding like
a fucking coward. Done lying for everyone else’s
benefit. Most of all, done giving a fuck about
Samantha Stone.

“Yeah. I fucked your sister. She practically

begged me for it, too.”

“I hate you!” She screams as Tyler’s fist

connects with my face. I don’t move. Don’t fight
back. Compared to the pain she’s put me through,
having my face pounded is a nice distraction. “I
fucking hate you, Cole Andrews!” Sam shrinks
down into a ball of sobs.

I don’t answer. Instead, I shove Tyler away

so his fist doesn’t connect with my face for the
third time in a row.

“Feeling’s mutual.”
“Don’t you talk to her,” Tyler orders.

“Don’t say one word to my sister ever again. Get
out. Get the fuck out of my house, and don’t ever
come back.”

Chapter 14

Samantha

Nervous and ashamed to face my brother, I

knock on his open door. I’ve been holed up in my
room all day. I can’t take being in there another
second. My room, my bed, it all reminds me of the
one person I want to forget, Cole.

Besides, I can’t hide from Tyler forever. He

means too much to me. I have to make amends.
The sooner, the better.

“Can I come in?”
My brother lies on his bed with his hands

behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. Tyler
looks at me for a long minute before he nods, giving
me the okay to enter.

“Do you hate me?” I ask sitting on the edge

of the bed.

“No. I don’t hate you.” He pushes himself

up to a sitting position. “I hate Cole. I’ll kill that
bastard if he so much as looks at you.”

I sniffle. “Please, don’t. I’m so sorry. I

didn’t mean to come between you. If I could undo
everything . . .” Overcome with tears, I can’t finish
the sentence.

“Aww, Sammie.” Tyler pulls me into his

arms. I bury my face in his chest and cry. It feels
good to let it out to someone. “I’m sorry this

happened. The person I’m most angry with is
myself for fucking up. If I was here, this never
would’ve happened.”

“It would’ve happened, Ty.” I wipe my eyes

with my fingertips. “Maybe not when it did, but
eventually, before I left for school something
would’ve happened whether you were here or not.”

“If I was here, I could’ve kept an eye on

him. Made sure—”

“What? That we didn’t talk to each other?

That we didn’t see each other and wish we could be
together. Maybe you keeping us apart made it
worse. Maybe I would’ve seen what an asshole he
is sooner. Before I . . .” I feel my emotions getting
the best of me, so I take a breath.

I will not be a weak, sniveling girl over

Cole. Over any guy, ever again. Even if he broke
my heart. What’s done is done. I said no regrets
and I meant it. The regrets I have aren’t about
having sex with Cole. They’re about falling in love
with him. And loving him with all that I am.

“Can I ask you a question?” I ask, looking

at my brother. He looks every bit as hurt and
betrayed as I feel.

“Sure.”
“Did you really threaten him to stay away

from me?”

My brother’s breaths are deep and loud as

he hesitates to answer.

“Yeah.”
I pull out of his arms. I wish this part wasn’t

true. Then I’d know for sure that truth is as foreign
to Cole as the Aegean Sea. Now I’m overthinking
everything he said and wishing the truths outweigh
the lies.

“Why? Why would you do that? Do you

think I’m so pathetic I can’t see through a guys
bullshit?”

Tyler quirks his eyebrow up.
“Okay. I fucked up. But I was scared and

emotional with no experience because you haven’t
let anyone near me in the last three years. You left
me at a disadvantage. I can’t tell the difference
between the assholes and the good guys.”

“That’s the problem. You think there are

good guys. There aren’t. They’re all assholes. ”

“Including you?”
“Especially me. Look what happened with

Caitlin.”

I bite my lip, nervous to get back to the real

issue. “Why didn’t you want us together?”

“That’s a stupid question.”
“No it’s not.”
“Talking about this isn’t doing any good. It’s

upsetting you, and pissing me off even more.“

“I’m getting upset because you’re not

answering. Please, Ty. I couldn’t talk to anyone or
ask for advice because we didn’t want you to find

out and I promised Cole I wouldn’t tell anyone. It
feels good to finally admit that we were together
and talk about what happened.”

“You were together? As in it happened

more than once?”

I nod. “Every night you were away.”
“Mother fucker!” I feel my brother’s anger

bouncing off him as he punches his pillow.

In an attempt to ease his anger, I tell Tyler

how it all went down. Starting with Cole waiting
here at home for me when I got back from the
bonfire. We talk until my eye lids are heavy, my
face is swollen and sore from crying, and I can’t
stop yawning.

“Can I sleep in here tonight? I’ll get my

sleeping bag and sleep on the floor. I just . . . I can’t
stay in my room. Please.”

“Go ahead.”
I grab an old sleeping bag, and some

pillows. It reminds me of the sleepovers we had
when we were kids. Only then we’d have sleeping
bags side by side on the floor.

“Ty?” I ask, once the lights are out and I’m

settled.

“I thought you were tired?”
“I am, but you never answered the question

and I need to know. Why were you so against us
being together?”

“He’s too old for you. With way too much

experience. He knows how to get a girl out of her
pants before she realizes what’s she’s doing.”

Great. Hearing this hurts more than I

thought it would. Plus, he’s providing me with
imagery. It’s perfect nightmare material. Does he
want me to slit my wrists?

“You really thought Cole would do that to

me?”

“He did, didn’t he?”
“No. Yes. I could tell he wanted me, but I

swear, I initiated. All of it. He even turned me
down a few times.”

“TMI. I’m going to be sick.”
“And then once things started in that

direction, Cole kept asking if I was sure, telling me
nothing had to happen. That it was okay to stop. He
was . . . sweet.”

“He still fucked you.”
I nod and sniffle. “I wanted it. Then when

we started to see each other, and I thought because
of your friendship, he’d be honest and end things
like man if he wanted out, not a coward. I never
thought he’d cheat on me.”

“I told you, guys are assholes. The fact that

he used you then ran to his girlfriend—”

“Have you listened at all? She’s not his

girlfriend. At least she wasn’t at the time. I was,
sort of.”

Even though it’s dark, I see my brother’s

brows furrow. He looks much more serious than he
did a minute ago. “How are you so sure?

I shrug. “He had no time to be with

someone else, between work and spending time
with me. And we’d talk and text for hours
afterward. That was the routine, until you came
home. But then he’s been here every night. Except
for last tonight. He’s an asshole, Ty, but he didn’t
use me the way you think he did.”

In convincing my brother that Cole’s

doesn’t deserve to die at his hands, I realize I don’t
have all the facts. Instead of hearing Cole out, I ran
off half-cocked to fuck Hunter. I’m almost asleep
when my brother’s voice breaks the silence.

“What do you want me to do? He’s my best

friend, Sam. At least he was. I don’t know what the
hell he is anymore. You’re my sister. It’s an
impossible situation. Out of all my friends, If I had
to see you with one of them, it would be him. But
what happens when shit doesn’t work out? Like
right now. I’m in the middle, and torn in pieces
because I love you both.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I thought you

were just being an over-protective older brother.”

“Maybe I was, am. I don’t know. But now

I’m down a friend. My best friend.”

“He was being a jerk before.”
“Yeah, he was. But so were you. If he did

think you guys were a thing, he’s hurt by what you

did last night. You weren’t at Abby’s. You lied to
Mom, and to us, and he knows it. Where were you
really?”

“Trust me. You don’t want to know.”
“See, this is already coming between us.

You and me. What happens if out of this, I lose
you, too?”

“You’ll never lose me.”
“Really? Because, it already started. Lying

about Cole. About where you were last night. I
know the path you’re on, sis, and trust me, it
doesn’t end well.”

Chapter 15

Cole

Days pass since I last saw Sam. In person

anyway. It’s been minutes since I looked at the pics
of us together in my car. Pics I hate. The pics that
ruined my life. I should delete them, forget the
whole ordeal, but I can’t. They’re all I have left of
her. Which sucks.

The best part of being with Sam was being

myself and not pretending. We started out as
friends, sort of. We had years of history between
us.

She knew me. The real me. Not the I’m-

trying-to-impress-you-me that shows up on the first
few dates. She knows my quirks, along with my
imperfections. And she wanted me anyway. The
way I wanted her. Want her still.

I should’ve told Tyler the night he came

home. I had the perfect fucking chance, too. My
bad for not listening to Sam and Austin. I worried
too much about my friend’s emotional state. Maybe
I was just too chicken shit and didn’t want to lose
his friendship.

A lot of good that did me. Now I lost him

and Sam. Who knows, maybe it wouldn’t have
made a shit of a difference. But then he would’ve
known I wasn’t really with Callie. Would never be

with another girl while I’m with Sam.

The irony is, they think I cheated on her. I

didn’t. But she had no qualms about falling onto
another guy’s mattress. I still can’t believe she ran
to someone else at the first hint of trouble. Fucking
Zane. I hate him.

Thank goodness it’s Thursday. I’ve been

going through the motions all week. Waking up,
going into work, then coming home and hibernating
with a six pack. I’m on my sixth since the weekend.

I open and close my mouth, and move my

jaw from side to side. It feels better today. No hint
of pain. It hurt like a bitch the first couple of days.
Now I can hardly tell Tyler used my face as a
punching bag.

I reach in the refrigerator and grab another

beer. I love that the basement is my territory. My
domain. Yet all I have to do is go up a flight of
stairs to find all the comforts of home. I didn’t
believe my parents would respect boundaries if I
lived here, but they’ve kept their part of the
bargain. As long as I pay rent, which is a joke
compared to what I’d pay somewhere else, they
give me my space.

In the mood to forget them and everyone

else in the outside world, I sit on the couch, lean
back and close my eyes. I bring the bottle up to my
lips and take a long swing. She’s here with me. Sam
smiles. A flirty, come get me smile.

My dick jumps to life. She turns her back to

me, lifts her dress and bends at the waist. I have an
amazing view of her bare ass. With her legs spread
just enough to be taken as an invitation, she wraps
her fingers around her ankles. I pull my pants down
and step up behind her. I spread her lips open, grasp
her curvy hips and thrust hard, into her tight pussy.
No condom. Nothing between us. Just my bare
cock basking in her wet silk.

I pound into her, once. Twice. Harder.

Deeper. She cries out for more. I keep pounding. I
want to punish her with each stroke, make her
remember that she’s mine. I want to tease her
mercilessly, bringing her to the brink of orgasm
over and over again, until she screams my name.
Until no other man exists for her but me.

The basement door creaks open. Startled, I

pull my hand out of my pants. Fuck, I was about to
cum. I wanted to leave her high and dry, begging
for more, and now it looks like I’m going to end up
with blue balls.

“I know you’re down here, Cole,” Tyler

calls, as he comes down the steps. That’s one way
to go limp.

“Might as well turn around. I’m not in the

mood for your shit.”

“Too bad. You don’t have a fucking

choice.”

“I didn’t fight back because I fucked up and

I knew it. You touch me again, and all bets are off.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not here to fight.

By the way, you look like shit,” there’s a hint of
pleasure in his voice. He’s mocking me. Tyler
fucking Stone thinks he’s the superior one here. I
see it on his smug face. I should punch him. Just for
the hell of it.

“Fuck you.”
“Do you love her?”
“What?”
“That’s what I want to know.”
I look at him confused as I take another pull

of beer. My brain hurts, and now he’s making me
use it when all I want to do is turn it off. “Who,
Callie?”

“No fucktard,” Tyler snags the bottle out of

my hand. “Sam.”

I shake my head. Even hearing her name

guts me. “I don’t love her.” Even if I did, I
wouldn’t admit it. Not to him. Not now that she
jumped into Zane’s bed and proved I didn’t mean a
fucking thing to her. “I hate her.”

“Bullshit on hating her. You’ve never hated

her. Even when you pretended to by annoyed that
she followed us everywhere. Like the time we went
to the lake to meet up with the girls. You bitched
and moaned that she was there, and then you
ditched us to go off and catch frogs with my sister.”

“Your point?” Great, he’s been watching us

before I even realized he had a reason to. Before I
had a clue that she worked her way under my skin.

“If you love her, I might be able to forgive

you in time. If she doesn’t mean anything to you,
she’s just another drop in the bucket, then you’re a
bigger dick than I thought and we’re through.”

“Sam’s not the innocent flower you think

she is.”

He shrugs. “Maybe not. Unlike you, it

doesn’t change how I feel about her.”

“You don’t know what she did, where she

was.”

“Look man, I know she’s not perfect and

that she shares in the responsibility of all this. She
owned up to her shit. She even insists it was her,
that everything that happened between you was
initiated by her, so that we,” he points between us,
“can salvage our relationship.”

My foot bounces up and down. Great, then

why are we rehashing this? Does he want to rub salt
in the wound? Look in my eyes to see if tears
gather there? Like I’d let that happen.

“No.” I answer. “It wasn’t all her. It

wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t want it.”

“I didn’t think so. But, still, you must have

been looking for an easy, fast, fuck.”

“Don’t!” I warn. Anger boils in my chest.

He doesn’t know what I went through that night,
between fighting my desire for her and my guilt

over wanting her. How all I wanted to do was the
right thing, for everyone. “That’s not how it went
down. Not at all.”

He nods. “Doesn’t matter, because in the

end it’s what happened. I mean it’s not like you
have feelings for her. You sure as shit don’t love
her, you just said so yourself.”

“Fuck you!” I explode, jumping to my feet.

“I care about Sam. I’d cut off my right arm for her
and I went out of my way to make sure I didn’t hurt
her.”

“That’s straight up bull. Because she’s

hurting right now. Hurting bad, and yeah, that part,
it’s all on you.”

How could he say this to me? Doesn’t he

see the pain his sister put me through? How
completely fucked I am right now? I can’t even
think straight. And for what? To protect him? A
self-absorbed jerk.

“But the worst part of it all is that you know

what my sister means to me and still you did this.
You shit all over our friendship. And for what? You
didn’t see her as anything more than a piece of
garbage. A cheap fucking whore.”

I’ve had enough. I step toe to toe with my

ex best friend and get in his face.

“I don’t know what she told you, but I

never treated her like a whore. She’s lying.”

“Really? So you treated her like any other

girl you were interested in? You took her out to
dinner?”

My eyes drop to the floor.
“A movie?”
“No,” I mutter, under my breath.
“She meant something to you, so you made

sure she knew it. You took her on a date of some
sort, right?”

I shake my head.
“I get that you didn’t want to go traipsing

all over town with her. Tell me you at least invited
her here, to your place. There’s no one here but
you.”

I’m seeing his point, but he’s twisting this all

around.

“No.”
His face lights up like he just thought of

something. “Coffee’s innocent enough. You
planned to meet up with her at the coffee shop,
where you’d sit and talk.”

“I was thinking of you. We didn’t go out in

public together because we didn’t want anyone to
know.” I say through clenched teeth.

“Right. For me. You wanted to keep it quiet.

So what did your parents think of her? Were they
surprised to see you two together after all these
years? Because I know if you explained the
situation, they understood and agreed to keep it
quiet.”

“Fuck you!” I rub the back of my neck

thinking about all the different ways I could’ve
handled this. I’m not entirely to blame. Am I? Did I
really make her feel like shit? Like I just wanted to
fuck her fast and dirty? It doesn’t matter. It’s too
late to second guess. “Your point?”

“My point is, maybe I could’ve forgiven

you if you treated her right. If you treated her
special, the way she deserves. Instead, you kept
everything a secret and pressured her to do the
same.” As the volume of his voice rises, so does the
color in his face. “You fucked her in your car like a
prostitute. Like someone you pick up off the side of
the road whose name you don’t even bother to
learn. You were too fucking cheap to even rent a
hotel room.”

“You don’t know shit about what went

down or how I feel for your sister,” I snap.

“I know she’s in love with you. Even after

all that you didn’t do, that you could’ve done
better. I’d be able to forgive you if I thought maybe
you loved her, too. Maybe you had a lapse in
judgment because love makes you stupid. You can’t
think straight because your head is flooded with
thoughts of the girl you’re crazy about. I get that. I
know how it can fuck you up. Make you do shit
you’d never believe. But no, I can’t even give you
that. Because you just said you don’t love her!” He
yells, in my face.

“How I feel about her doesn’t matter! Not

now. Not after what she did.”

“What could she have done that’s so bad?

So unforgivable?”

“She was with someone else the night she

didn’t come home.” God I sound pathetic. Worse
than a fucking chick.

“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do.” Doesn’t he hear the tone of

my voice, doesn’t he realize that his sister broke
me.

“You were with Callie before that. By the

way, you still have a shitload of explaining to do
about that. Sam saw you kiss her, right there for
everyone to see, when you wouldn’t even be seen
with my sister. That hurt her. Bad.”

“It’s not what you think it is. There’s a lot

more to it. I was trying to protect Sam. It’s all I
wanted to do.”

“I don’t really give a fuck right now. All I

know is my sister doesn’t want to sleep in her own
room. She sleeps on the couch or in my room
because she says there are too many memories of
you in her bed. Do you know what that makes me
want to do to you?”

I don’t want to hear this. I have my own

pain to deal with. I don’t need to hear about hers.
“Why are you here?”

“I‘m here because I’ve been thinking. I

remember how crazy you were over the girl you
claimed to be seeing. She was special. A keeper.
She meant something to you. The only reason your
breathing right now is because I believe that was
Sam. Tell me, Cole. Tell me the girl that had you
twisted twenty ways to Sunday was my sister.”

I don’t answer for a few breaths. I turn and

grab fistfuls of my hair. What’s the fucking point?
Why am I lying? There’s nothing to salvage,
nothing to protect. I lost it all.

In the face of defeat I turn to my friend

ready to admit what I should’ve weeks ago.

“Yes. It was Sam. I’m out-of-my-mind-in-

love with your sister.”

Chapter 16

Samantha

Today’s moving day. It’s here. Finally. I

thought it would never come. The last two weeks
dragged on. And on. And on. Once I finished
packing, there wasn’t much left for me to do. Just
mope around and wait for today.

I quit my job at the grocery store two weeks

ago, and made my rounds to say goodbye to my
friends. Now it’s time to get my shit out of the
house, into the car and then from the car into my
dorm room.

Each minute is longer than the one before it.

I’m itching to get the fuck out of here. Get away
from all the memories that haunt me and the people
associated with them. I need distance from it all.

“Think you’re taking enough crap?” My

father asks, with a smile.

I know he’s trying to be funny, to lighten the

mood, but I don’t want to hear anything he has to
say. I glare at him, resenting the fact that he’s even
here. He left us, he should just stay away.

He approaches and ruffles my hair, like I’m

five. Seems he hasn’t gotten the hint that I hate
him. And don’t want him in my life. You’d think
my not taking his calls or calling him back would
send a message.

“You don’t have to come.”
“Samantha,” my mother warns. Why the

hell is she sticking up for him?

“Try and stop me.” He winks, pretending

this is some game we’re playing and that I’ll
eventually come around.

“Seriously, we’ll get everything we can in

the one car and then Zane will get me at school and
bring me back for the stuff that doesn’t fit.”

My father’s face drops. Good. If I don’t

have anything to smile about, neither should he.

“I’m coming, Samantha.” He lost all

playfulness. “You’re my daughter, not Zane’s.
Besides, what kind of stupid name is Zane?” He
looks from me to my mother, expecting one of us to
fill him in. Mom shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

“Maybe if you were a part of my life, you’d

know who Zane is,” I say, as I fake a smile and
sashay away.

I seriously, can’t wait to get the fuck out of

here!

“Hey, Sis,” my brother whispers, with a box

in his hand. “Give him a break. He’s here. There
are a lot of other things he could be doing today.”

“I get that you want a relationship with your

father—“

“Our father,” he corrects.
“Fine. Our father. But I don’t. He’s an

asshole.” I turn and walk away from my brother,

signaling an end to the conversation. I never
realized my brother was so forgiving. He lets people
hurt him and shit all over his heart. That’s why he
ended up a few inches from death.

Not me. Not anymore.
The living area is too crowded. I’m in need

of a breather and sneak back up to my room.
Maybe I can hide out here until it’s time to leave,
which should be any minute now. I take a last look
around to make sure I packed everything I want to
bring with me.

My eyes scan my dresser, my bed, my desk.

They stop right there. My heart blips. I should leave
it behind. I made a point of not packing it, but my
resolve cracks. A mild panic settles over me at the
thought of being without it.

The right thing, the healthy thing, is to leave

it along with all the memories and move on. Today
signifies a new start. Leave the past behind. But,
I’m heading off to college. This is the time to
submerge myself in a cloak of unhealthy behavior
and drape it over my shoulders.

I grab it and stuff it into the messenger bag.

It’s not my usual pocketbook, but that’s what I’m
using it as today. This way I could stuff it with all
the last minute important things that I forgot or
didn’t think of.

A throat clears behind me. I spin around,

afraid my brother caught me. He knows everything,

but I don’t want to get into it right now and I don’t
want him to realize how much I still hurt.

It’s not Tyler. It’s my father. I’m not sure

which one I prefer right now.

“What?”
“Can we talk for a few minutes?” He asks,

taking a seat on my bed.

“This isn’t a good time.”
“Sam, I understand that you’re angry.”
“Good. Then there’s nothing left to say.”
“I’ll always be your father. Nothing is going

to change that, and I’ll never stop trying to get
through to you.”

“Too bad.” I take a step and turn around.

“Just so we’re clear, I don’t believe you. I think
eventually you’ll give it up. Just like you gave up
on our family.”

The sullen look on my father’s face suggests

those words hit him hard. Good. Mission
accomplished. Not giving him a chance to recover,
I continue toward the stairs. I’m stopped by my
father’s hand on my elbow.

“You don’t talk to your mother like this,”

he’s pissed. “We both decided to get a divorce.
We’re both to blame, so would you mind telling me
why the hell it seems like you’re just angry with
me?”

I yank my arm out of his grasp and narrow

my eyes at him. He can’t be serious can he? He

asked for it, fine, I’ll give him a hint. “Mom’s still
here. You gave up, cut your losses and left.”

“I never gave up on you. Or your brother.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re. Not. Here. Your

words are meaningless. And I’m done with you.”

I rush down the steps before he can recover

and say anything else. I mean it. I’m done with him,
and now I won’t have to see or speak to him until I
come home. I’ll be living on my terms.

I’m on the last step, when my breath

catches in my throat and my heart squeals like an
elevator dropped on it. I stop dead in my tracks, as
a sharp pain rips across my stomach and chest. I’m
about to lose my breakfast.

This is the last thing I need right now. I can

handle anyone, anything, but him.

Cole doesn’t see me, but I can’t miss those

striking blue eyes. The color is light, pale, not the
deep cerulean I’m used to. And the twinkle is gone.
They look sad. Sadder than I’ve ever seen them.
Maybe it’s been so long since I looked in his eyes
that I don’t remember them the way they truly are.

“What are you doing here?” My brother

asks, his voice low and annoyed.

“You asked for help moving her.”
“That was before all the shit that went

down. We got this.”

Cole takes a step forward, “I said I’d be

here. I’m here.”

I know the best thing I can do for myself is

turn around, go back up the steps and avoid him,
but I then I’ll run into my father. Instead I stare at
Cole. He stands there, in the middle of my living
room, clean shaven, and ready to help, dressed in
athletic pants and a tight fitting t-shirt that pulls
across his broad chest.

God, I miss him. My legs feel week. I want

to drop to my knees and cry. I should’ve turned
around. I won’t, because I’m strong, and I don’t
need Cole. I don’t need my father. I don’t need any
man.

“I’m telling you,” Tyler grabs his arm,

there’s a warning in his voice. “Go.”

Cole shakes his head. Guess he didn’t get to

know my brother’s fist well enough a few weeks
ago.

I’ve had enough of being a bystander in my

own life. I’m not giving Cole a say. Not when it
hurts to see him, to be in the same room as him.
Today is about me. About forgetting all the people
and things here that hurt me.

His eyes find me and light with hope. A

cautious smile teases at the corners of his lips. Time
to extinguish it.

“Are you deaf or just stupid?” I snap at him.
“Sam?” The smile’s gone. Cole looks like a

deer caught in headlights.

I shake my head. I don’t want him to speak.

There’s nothing he has to say that I want to hear.

“We don’t need you, and no one wants you

here, so go. Turn your ass around and leave.”

He shakes his head. “Please.”
“Hey, Cole,” my father calls, from behind

me. “Glad you’re here. We can use an extra set of
hands.”

Tyler and I exchange a look.
“I don’t think it’s necessary,” my mother

chimes in. “The car is just about packed.”

See, that’s why I’m not angry with my

mother. Unlike my father, she has my back.

“An extra person will mean less trips back

and forth to the car when we get there. Besides,
who knows how many times we’ll be rearranging
the furniture in the room.”

“There’s no room in the car,” I spit out.

“Between me, Mom, and Tyler—“

“Cole can ride with me,” Dad offers up.
“That’s fine, I can drive myself. This way

we have an extra car if we need the space.”

“No need,” Dad says. “Besides, it will make

parking more difficult. It’s already going to be a
mess with double parked cars everywhere. And this
way, you keep me company,” Dad puts his arm
around Cole’s shoulder. “And we can talk. Catch
up.”

I hear the hint of danger in my father’s

voice. This must be his way of trying to get back in

my good graces. Maybe he’s not completely
useless. Cole received his message loud and clear.
The nervous, uncomfortable look on his face is
worth the price of having him tag along.

It’s somewhat fitting that the two men I like

least in the world right now should be together. I
only wish I picked a school further away. One hour
doesn’t seem like enough time for them to truly
appreciate each other.

“Have fun, boys,” I smile and wave at them

as I head out of the house with my mother and
brother.

Chapter 17

Cole

How the fuck did I end up riding with Mr.

Stone? Oh that’s right, I came to help and make up
with Sam. Samantha on the other hand, dug in her
heels and was set on being a bitch. Why do I like
this girl so much?

“So,” Mr. Stone says, after driving in silence

for half an hour. “I hear you’re working.”

I feel like I’m on the hot seat, being

interrogated by my girlfriend’s father, rather than
talking to my best friend’s dad, a man I’ve known
for a good part of my life.

“Yes, sir.”
“How’s that going?”
“I like it so far. I mean I haven’t done

much. The first two weeks were mostly training and
now, I’ve been given small tasks while I’m getting
to know the different groups in the company and
who the players are.”

“That’s good. Smart.”
“Yeah, nothing meaningful yet, but I’m

getting there.”

Silence. This one drags on and is more

uncomfortable than the last.

“Cole, I wanted you to drive with me,

because it’s time we had a little talk.” Oh shit. “I’m
going to ask once and I expect the truth,
understand?” Mr. Stone glances over at me with a
stoic look on his face. This can’t be good. And I’m
certain I hear a threat in his voice.

“Of course, sir. I understand.”
“Is there something going on between you

and Samantha?”

I don't want to answer, mostly because I

wish the answer was different. "No. There’s not."

"I said the truth, Cole."
"It is the truth, sir.”
“You expect me to believe that there’s

never been anything—”

“That’s not what you asked.”
This draws a sharp look of disapproval from

the older man. The last thing I need is to piss him
off, too. I wouldn’t be going if not for Mr. Stone. At
least by being there I have a chance to get in her
face and force a conversation with Sam.

“I apologize, sir, if that came across rude.

The way you asked the question, it sounded like
you meant right now. And the truth is right now, she
hates me.” It hurts to admit. I feel like the world’s
biggest dick, but he asked for the truth. “Until an
hour ago, we haven’t seen or spoken to each other
in over two weeks.”

He doesn’t press me. Not immediately. He

considers my answer. Evaluates my truthfulness.

“She hates me too. Any idea why?”
My neck hurts from the tension in the car. I

work at massaging it away. I shouldn’t be in the
middle of this, it’s not my place. I don’t want to
answer. I have no right speaking for Sam. This is
family drama.

On the other hand, I’m in need of an ally. I

thought Tyler was on board, but the way he reacted
when I showed up today, I’m not so sure. Still, I
have to be careful how I phrase this. If I say it
wrong Mr. Stone might think I’m judging him.
Worse yet, he might think I don’t respect his
daughter, neither of which will win me any points in
his camp.

"I guess for the same reason she hates me.”

I say, dreading the next words. “She saw you
kissing another woman.”

He glares at me. “You what?”
I hear the ire in his voice. “She thinks I

kissed another girl. I swear that’s not what
happened,” I‘m quick to explain. “I know it sounds
like a lame excuse, but I was set up. When I had a
clue what she was doing, I did all I could to get
away from the other girl, but before I could, she
kissed me. Sam saw it and hasn’t spoken to me
since.”

Mr. Stone shakes his head.
“The fact that you even put yourself and

my daughter in that situation shows—”

“Please, sir. I know it shows a lack of

judgment, but not a lack of concern for Sam. I’d
never hurt her purposely. I swear.”

“Have you told her this?”
Ashamed I shake my head. “No. She blew

up at me and ran off. She went out of her way to
hurt me, and instead, I reacted to that. These
haven’t been my best moments, sir. It’s been a real
shit show since.”

He clears his throat, not happy with my

choice of words.

“So even though you just said you’d never

hurt her, that’s just what you did. You hurt her.”

I nod, and swallow down the emotion

brimming to the surface. I never thought Sam’s
father would pat me on the back and give me his
approval to date his daughter, but after my
confession, I can’t blame him if he tells me to never
go near her again.

“Unfortunately, yes. But I want to make it

up to Sam, explain everything and show her how
important she is to me.”

“Cole, what are you saying? How exactly

do you feel about my daughter?”

Oh fuck. Here it comes. He’s going to

accuse me of all sorts of inappropriate behavior
with her over the years. That’s not the way it’s
been at all. I know I’m not some child molesting
pervert, and that nothing happened until after her

eighteenth birthday, but will he believe me?

Mr. Stone knows me well enough to see

through the bullshit if I lie. He hasn’t shoved me
out of the moving vehicle yet, so maybe if I keep
with the truth, I can win him over.

“Things are very complicated. But, she

means the world to me.”

“Stop hemming and hawing, Cole. Answer

the damn question.”

“Sir, I’m in love with your daughter."
He blows out a long breath and shoots me a

dirty look.

“Can’t say I’m surprised. I should’ve

expected it. But, it could be worse. At least I know
where to go find you if I have to. And believe me,
if you hurt her again, I’m coming after you.”

While it’s not the endorsement I’m looking

for, he’s not threatening to hit me up with a
restraining order, so I guess that’s good. Neither of
speak for a few breaths.

“If you don’t mind my asking, how did you

know about us?”

He gives me a sideward glance.
“I know my daughter. The fact that you

stayed with her when Tyler was in the hospital, I
suspected something. My suspicions were
confirmed later when I couldn’t sleep and went to
check on her. My baby girl was in her bed, hugging
something, holding it close to her chest. It looked

familiar. At first, I thought it was her brother’s
sweatshirt. When I saw it lying on her bed the next
day, I recognized it and knew it was yours.”

“She slept with my sweatshirt?” There’s a

tug on my heart. The shell that’s hardened around it
over the last two weeks cracks.

“Slept with it every night while I still lived

there. Just before you got to the house today, I went
to her bedroom to talk to her. I caught her stuffing
it into her bag. I’m guessing even though you’re on
the rocks, she still has feelings for you.”

“She really sleeps with my sweatshirt?”
I don’t know why this fact seems so

monumental to me. Any residual anger I have over
what happened with Zane melts away. Anger is
replaced with another emotion, equally as strong
only instead of breaking me, this emotion heals.

I’m filled with hope that we can get over

this bump in the road. Maybe it’s more of a
mountain than a bump because of all the shit she
has going on in her home life with her parents, but
I’m still somewhere in her heart. Now I know we’ll
get through this.

*

Another trip or two at most, and all Sam’s

stuff will be in her pint sized dorm room. I don’t
think I missed much staying home for college.
Especially since my parents agreed to give me the
basement when I graduated high school, and let me

turn it into my own apartment.

“I thought you wanted me to apologize and

work shit out with your sister,” I say to Tyler,
before we get inside the main dormitory doors.

“I did, but you needed to do that shit a

week ago, after I left you with your thumb up your
ass. Not five minutes before she leaves for school.”

“You’re right.” I say, following him up the

steps. “I shouldn’t have waited. But I needed more
time. She hurt me. Bad.”

“More like she hurt your ego.”
“It’s more than that and you know it. I’m

here now. That’s got to count for something.”

Tyler heads down her hallway and shakes

his head. “I told you not to come. It was for your
own good.”

I think my friend is going to sucker-punch

me while my hands are full. Wouldn’t be the
smartest thing for him to do. There might be fragile
things in this box that would break if I dropped it.
So far, he’s made no move. Done nothing to give
me the impression that’s what he’s going to do.

The punch comes once we enter her room,

but it’s not from Tyler.

Sam stands with her back to the door, by

her dresser putting her clothes away. Standing
behind her, caging her between his chest and the
draws in front of her, and whispering in her ear is
Zane.

Fucking Zane!
The sound of Sam’s giggle makes me weak.

The box slips from my hands and lands on her bed.
Bad enough all the times I’ve imagined them
together in the last two weeks, this is so much
worse. They really are together. What the fuck am I
supposed to do now?

“I’m here. I got you,” he whispers, loud

enough for us all to hear, or at least loud enough for
me to hear, and wraps his arms around her waist.

I want to yell at him to get his damn hands

off my girl, but I lost that right. And I wasted too
much precious time, not talking to her.

I look at Tyler for a clue, any hint as to how

I should handle this. He doesn’t look happy and
shakes his head. Does that mean he doesn’t
approve, or he doesn’t want me to cause a scene?
What the fuck does it mean?

Zane turns his head slightly so that he could

see me through the corner of his eye and gives a
slight nod in my direction.

“Hey,” he throws out, as if we’re friends.

Like we could ever be friends while Sam is in his
arms.

“Hey,” I force out.
Everyone is busy, Mr. Stone and Tyler set

up Sam’s desk and arrange the area under her
raised bed. Mrs. Stone hangs clothes in the closet.
Meanwhile, Sam and Zane are being all cute and

snuggly while she puts things away in the dresser.
He pulls the clothes from her bag, she places them
in the drawer. Everyone has a purpose here, except
for me. I shouldn’t have come.

The bitch of it is, I can’t escape. I can’t

jump in my car and leave because I drove here with
Mr. Stone. Just. Fucking. Great!

I’m a hair away from losing my shit. I look

all around, to avoid watching Sam and Zane. It’s
hard to breathe with all the sugar in the air. I need
to get out here.

I focus on the untouched side of the room,

in an effort to avoid the sickening couple in front of
me. At the small closets. Over at Samantha’s bed,
and that’s when I see it. My flicker of hope. The
sleeve of my sweatshirt pokes out of the bag.

She sleeps with my sweatshirt, not Zane’s.

Her heart’s with me. I have a chance. I need to light
the spark between us. The only shot of that
happening is if I get her alone. Game on!

“Hey, I saw a vending machine downstairs

on the way in,” I say. “How about I go and get
some water for everyone?”

“That’s a great idea, Cole. I am a little

parched.” Mrs. Stone is the only one to
acknowledge me.

Perfect.
“I could use a little help, Sam?”
“I’m busy. Zane, you go with him.”

“Actually, with Cole gone, we can use the

extra muscle here,” her father says.

Way to go Mr. Stone!
I drop my head, shove my hands in my

pockets and work to hide my smile. There’s
something to be said about a family alliance. He’s
pulling for me and once I get back into Sam’s good
graces, I can return the favor. Tyler’s the question,
but after finding Zane in the room with Sam, I think
I understand why he told me not to come.

We don’t speak as we head down the hall.

We barely walk together. She quickens her steps,
trying to outpace me. Not a chance. I extend my
stride. She runs down the steps, preventing me from
starting a conversation there either.

My heart races, my nerves get the best of

me. I can’t unravel, and I can’t let her see the
internal frenzy I’m in. I have to make this work.
This is the opportunity I wanted. The one I’ve been
waiting for all day. I can’t let it slip away because if
I do, I may not get another one.

I pull my wallet out of my back pocket and

glance at Sam. She’s looking all around with her
arms crossed over her chest. I grab a ten dollar bill
and feed it into the machine.

“How many bottles do you think? One for

everyone?” I ask.

“I don’t give a fuck,” she answers, finally

meeting my stare.

Our eyes meet and lock. I pull in a long

breath. I miss looking into her eyes. Today the
green color’s deeper than usual. Darker.

I could almost see the smoke coming out of

her nose she’s so mad. Her anger doesn’t mar her
beauty, though. Not in the slightest. My gaze drops
to her lips. Her ruby red lips. Pouty and kissable. I
feel a twitch in my pants. I need to stay focused.

“I miss you, princess.” My voice is heavy

with emotion.

She shoots daggers at me.
“I’m not your princess!”
I step closer to her, invading her personal

space and cup her cheek. Her skin is every bit as
soft as I remember. My lips part, longing to taste
hers. Touching her sends the same warmth through
my body it did a couple of weeks ago. But I need to
keep myself under control. This wouldn’t feel so
right if we were wrong for each other.

I’m not the only one feeling a tidal wave of

emotion. Sam’s so stunned by my action she
doesn’t move. She stands there, frozen, staring at
me, her beautiful green eyes shining. I take
advantage of her stupor to reach my hand around
the back of her neck.

I feel her relax as she melts into my touch. I

lean in and whisper in her ear before placing a long,
lingering kiss on her cheek.

“You’ll always be my princess.”

Her lack of movement paired with the hitch

in her breathing give her away.

I won this round.

Chapter 18

Samantha

“Don’t touch me!” I shove Cole, but he

doesn’t move. Instead he grasps my wrists, and
pulls me close, until his arms wrap around my waist
and his warm, minty breath is on my lips. I want to
keep pushing him away, but once my palms are
flush against his hard chest, I stop fighting.

My eyes drop to his mouth. Yearnings I

haven’t felt in weeks wake and stir inside me. I
struggle to keep from kissing him.

“I’m sorry, Sam.” His front teeth sink into

his bottom lip as he searches my face. I try to look
away, but he doesn’t let me. If I move my head to
the left, he moves his too, and stays too close to my
face, and in my line of sight.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t

take you out, or let you tell your friends about us. I
wish I could do it over again. I’d introduce you to
my parents not as Tyler’s sister, but as my girl. As
the girl I love.”

His words are rushed and they don’t make

sense because I’m too busy fighting an internal
battle over kissing him, to process what he’s saying.

“I’m sorry for all of it. For not realizing I

hurt you from the beginning. But the one thing you
need to know, that you have to believe, is that I

didn’t cheat on you. In all the ways I hurt you
without realizing it, I’d never purposely do that.”
His blue eyes are stern, serious. “Never. And what
ever happened between you and Zane, it’s okay.”
he swallows hard, his chest rising and falling before
he speaks again. “I forgive you.”

This snaps me out of the spell Cole and his

damn blue eyes have on me. He’ll forgive me?

“Fuck you!”
He doesn’t expect this outburst and this

time when I push him away, he releases his hold on
me and stumbles back.

“I thought we were here for water.”
Cole looks stunned. His mouth is open and

his brows furrow as he looks at me.

“Yeah, right. Water.”
He presses the button choosing a bottle of

water. One falls down into the open slot on the
bottom of the machine. He picks it up and hands it
to me. Our fingers brush against each other, and I
shudder.

My body remembers his touch. Craves it.
My nipples harden beneath my clothes,

yearning for a touch that’s never going to come. A
touch I can’t allow.

He repeats the process. Only this time I

reach for the bottle before he can, to avoid physical
contact and keep my wits about me. I gather five
bottles in my arms and leave the last for Cole. He

could carry his own damn bottle.

“Sam, wait!” he calls.
I stop and close my eyes for a heartbeat. I

wish he had a clue how difficult he’s making this on
me. I’m sure as shit not going to be the one to tell
him. But I’d like him to back off. I ignore Cole and
start walking again.

“Sam,” he says, rushing to get a step ahead

of me and then turning around and blocking my
path. “These were sent to me, anonymously.”

He turns his phone around so that the

display faces me. My mouth drops, right along with
my stomach as he swipes the screen and shows me
picture after picture. They’re of us fucking in
Cole’s car. I can’t believe he has these. What a
pervert! I want to snatch the phone away from him,
but my hands are full at the moment.

“Cole!” I scold. “What the fuck!?” I ask

looking around frantically to see if anyone is
looking. Thankfully no one is. Yet. But this isn’t the
first impression I want to give my new dorm mates.
Especially the guys. “Put that away!”

He nods, and shoves his phone in his

pocket. “Callie had these. Only I didn’t know it
was her. I thought it was a guy that contacted me
and threatened to post them everywhere. Send
them to everyone you knew. He set up a meeting at
Frozen Delights and said the deal was off unless I
brought your brother. It was Callie. I never laid

eyes on her before that. For your brother’s benefit
she acted like we were a couple. She knew I’d go
along with it because she was holding these over
my head. I went to call and give you a heads up.”

“Except you never did.”
Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, he

shakes his head. “I tried. I got up to go to the
bathroom. That’s when she kissed me. She must’ve
seen you.” His eyes fall to the ugly gray tile floor.
“Sam, I’m so sorry.”

Tears fill my eyes. I don’t know what to do

or what to believe.

“It doesn’t matter. Things are different

now.”

Not what Cole wants to hear. His left eye

twitches. “Not that different. My feelings for you
haven’t changed.”

I shake my head and look off to the side. He

doesn’t know what I did. How bad things got that
night with Hunter. How Zane stepped in and saved
me. If he did, he’d hate me.

“Mine have,” I lie. “I can’t . . .” I search for

something believable, but come up short. “I hate
you.”

“I don’t believe that. You don’t even sound

like you believe it.”

Tears sting my eyes. He’s right. I don’t. I

can’t let him know how I feel. I need to shove these
feelings down deep where they’ll never see the

light of day. I won’t allow myself to fall into his
arms and cry. That made me weak. Gullible. I gave
him all I had, heart, body and soul. Not again. Not
ever again.

“I think you’re afraid, Sam. The truth is, so

am I, but not for the reasons I was afraid before.
I’m not afraid of anyone finding out. I want the
world to know. I’m not afraid of your father
banning me from seeing you. You’re out of the
house and for that matter, so is he. I’m not afraid of
ruining my friendship with Tyler. Somehow, through
all this we’re still friends. He knows how I feel
about you, so we’re good. Solid. What I’m afraid of
now, is you walking away without giving me
another chance.”

I shake my head and look away. I’ll lose my

resolve if I keep my eyes on him. Cole steps closer.
I don’t know if he could see my resolve crumble
with every word he says, but it does. If he keeps
the pressure up I’ll crack for sure.

“The truth is, Sam, I never felt this way

about anyone, and I’m afraid I never will again.
Give me another chance. I promise, I’ll do better.”

“I’m sorry, Cole. I can’t.” I move around

him before he could stop me and keep going until
I’m back in my room. Back with Zane. Back to
pretending Cole Andrews is out of my system.

Chapter 19

Cole

I turn the engine off and wipe my palms on

my jeans. I don’t know the last time my nerves had
me sweating like this. I hoped to hear from Sam
after I helped move her in, but there’s been radio
silence. Not even a reaction when I admitted I
loved her. Nothing.

I pick the rose up off the passenger seat and

bring it to my nose. I don’t know what compels me
to smell it, but I want to make sure it hasn’t lost its
scent on the way over. It’s not much, just a little
something for Sam. Providing she doesn’t slam the
door in my face.

So far so good. Everything’s going

according to plan. After checking my ID, the guard
at the gate lets me in. The best part is Sam’s none
the wiser. I gave her roommate’s name along with
their room number. Charlotte called down and gave
security a heads up that I’d be coming.

I owe Tyler big for this one. He acted as the

go between for Charlotte and me. Even though she
showed up right before Mr. Stone and I headed
back home, I had the opportunity of meeting her
and witnessing the skyrockets that took off
between her and Zane.

No doubt Charlotte agreed to help me out

because she’s got her eyes on a prize of her own,
Zane. And I hope like hell she snags him. Not that I
want Sam to be hurt, but she belongs with me, not
him.

Sam can deny it all she wants, but she still

wants me. I saw it in her eyes. In the way she
reacted when we touched. The sparks and heat are
still there, and I have no intention of letting them
die.

Charlotte waits at the dormitory entrance to

let me in the building.

“Aww, a rose!” She says leaning in and

giving me a hug. “How sweet.”

“Thanks.” I answer. “She still in the room?”
“She was as of a minute ago when I came

down to let your ass in.”

I nod. “Got ya.”
Charlotte pulls her phone out and looks at

the time. “You have an hour to yourselves. I’m
heading over to the cafeteria for dinner. After that,
no promises.”

“Okay.” Charlotte steps around me. “Wait!”

I reach for her arm, not ready to let her go. “Does
Sam talk about me at all?”

She shakes her head. “Sorry.”
Bummer. “It’s okay. Thanks. For

everything.”

I keep my head up as I climb the stairs,

wondering if I made a mistake coming here. Over a

month passed since we were together. And it’s been
even longer since we were intimate. What if I’m
wrong? If I’m seeing what I want instead of what’s
really there? Wouldn’t she have called me, texted
me, acknowledge I exist if she missed me at all?

Suddenly this great idea of mine doesn’t

seem so wonderful. What if she really does have
feelings for Zane? Or worse, someone else? Tyler
swears she doesn’t, but she didn’t exactly tell her
brother the truth about us, so it’s possible she’s
lying to him. Maybe even to herself.

The door to her room is open. I breathe out

a sigh of relief. This takes slamming the door in my
face or not answering it at all out of the equation.

Sam doesn’t see me as I approach. She’s

sitting cross-legged on her bed, nose deep in a
book. Her hair looks longer as it hangs down and
frames her beautiful face. Courage swells in my
chest when I recognize the sweatshirt she has on.
It’s mine.

I take a deep breath as I step inside and

knock on the open door. I hold the rose up so it’s
the first thing she sees.

Sam’s eyes shoot up. She’s stunned and

blinks hard a few times before her beautiful green
orbs widen in disbelief.

“Cole?”
I smirk, leaning against the doorjamb. She

could say she’s over me all she wants, but she’s

wearing my sweatshirt, and that proves it’s not true.

“Nice sweatshirt.” I say, calling her out.
She twists her face at me. Good, I caught

her off guard.

“Just say the word and you can replace it

with me.”

She stares without speaking. Her eyes soak

me in from head to toe. They rake over my body
slow and deliberate. I fight the urge to rush to her
with every ounce of willpower I have. If I come on
too strong, I’ll scare her off.

“I’m wearing this stupid thing because I’m

cold. It’s the first thing I grabbed. My mother must
have thrown it in my bag because I didn’t even
pack it.” Her eyes drop to floor.

She’s straight up lying. Ok. I can live with

that for now.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have

somewhere better to be?”

I run my hand through my hair and push my

nerves back down in my belly.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be than with

you.”

Sam opens her mouth and pretends to stick

her middle finger down her throat like she’s
gagging. Great, Sarcastic, bitchy Sam. I guess I
didn’t make as much progress with her as I thought.
Either that or she’s set on keeping me at a distance.
This calls for plan B.

I don’t wait for an invitation, mostly

because I don’t trust one will be extended. I sit on
the bed next to her and hand her the rose. “Peace
offering.”

Sam’s hesitant in accepting it, but

eventually reaches out and takes it from me.

“Really, what are you doing here?”
“I sort of need your help.”
“I’m listening,” she narrows her eyes at me.

Her voice sounds as uncertain as her eyes look.

“I’m not sure if I mentioned it or not, but

my boss’s wife is battling breast cancer.” No
response. “Traditional treatment isn’t working, so
they’re going to try some new experimental
procedure,” I ramble. “It’s really expensive and
insurance doesn’t cover it, so they’re throwing a
big gala event to raise money to help pay for it. It’s
a black tie event with dinner and dancing, and a
Chinese auction.”

“Okay?”
“A lot of people from the office are going,

and we’re all expected to bring a guest.” The look
of indifference on her face is killing me. I massage
the tension out of the back of my neck. I knew
there was a possibility she’d say no before I came,
but this is straight up self masochism. I’d rather
jump through a meat grinder and call it a day.

“Your point?”
“I’d like you to come as my d—”

She shakes her head, reaches out and places

her middle and pointer fingers over my lips to shut
me up. I cover her hand and hold her fingers there.
With my eyes closed, I pull them into my mouth
and use my tongue to give them a massage.

She leans into me the tiniest bit. I hear a

hitch in her breathing, before she snatches her hand
away. “Eww,” she makes a disgusted face as she
wipes her fingers on her leg. “It’s not a good idea.”
She keeps her eyes downcast.

“Why not?” I crook my index finger under

her chin to tilt her head up. And encourage her to
look at me.

“You know why not. Besides, I’m sure

you’ve got a long line of girls—”

“Stop.” I blow out a frustrated breath.

“Don’t you get it Sam? I’m here because I want to
go with you. I don’t want anyone else.”

I scoot over, inching closer to her. My thigh

touches her calf. Our body heat meshes and it’s like
two giant magnetics coming together. I’m
compelled to touch her. I reach one hand around
the bottom of Sam’s neck and weave my fingers
into the base of her hair. I can’t be certain about
what she’s feeling, but my pulse kicks up a few
gears.

“Do you really want me to go with someone

else?” I whisper, close to her ear. “Show up with
another girl on my arm?” I look deep in her eyes,

my lips a hair away from hers. “Touch her.” I
palace my other hand on the top inside of her thigh.
“Hold her close, have her pressed up against me.
All night.”

“No!” She shakes her head and for the first

time in forever, Sam reaches out for me. She takes
hold of my shirt, clenching it tight between her
fingers. Neither of us move, or say anything. I’m
not even sure either of us breathe.

I keep my eyes glued on the goddess in

front of me. She’s even more beautiful than she was
last time I saw her. What took me so long to come
force her hand? Sam’s Jade colored eyes stare back
at me with hunger and desire. This is a welcome
change from the anger and hate living in them the
last few times we saw each other. Forever passes
before either of us move.

I take advantage of the warmth emanating

from her and pull her to my chest. I breathe her in.
Sam doesn’t fight or push me away. Instead, she
clings to me as if I’m oxygen and she’s down to her
last breath.

I feel accomplished. I broke through the

armor encasing her heart. My self-control unravels.
I hold her head with both hands and lock our gaze
before crushing my mouth down on her. My goal
was to get her to say yes. Holding her, kissing her
like this, I hit the jackpot.

Need pulses through my body. Wakes parts

of me I want to keep in hibernation for the moment.
Frenzied, my mouth moves over the skin of her
neck. Her hand slides over the bulge straining
against my pants. Allowing myself a bit of
indulgence I fill my hands with her tits. Her back
arches toward my touch as I squeeze and play with
her nipples.

“Cole.” My name leaves her lips in a

breathless whisper.

That’s it. I’m undone.
With my hand on her back, I guide her

down on her bed and climb on top of her. Sam’s
legs wrap around me. My hips press into her. She
moans, sliding my shirt up. All I can think about is
feeling her soft, naked body beneath me. Around
me. Her sweet, tight pussy hugging my cock.

I’m transported to that rainy August night

that started it all. We’re rain soaked on the floor of
her clubhouse. Need and desire perfume the air
around us. This is my opportunity to go back and
right all the wrongs.

“Yes, Cole!”
She’s the only person I ever want to hear

call my name out like this. She’s. Everything I
want. Everything.

Sam lifts the hem of my shirt and the

sensation of deja-vu is too strong. I need to do this
right. I can’t fuck this up again.

I pull my head back and lean my forehead

against hers. I still can’t think straight. Distance. I
need more distance or else just like that night, we’ll
pick up where we left off and go too far. I turn and
sit with my legs hanging over the side of the bed,
forcing physical separation.

“Cole?” She places her hand on my

shoulder, sitting up next to me. “It’s just sex. We’ve
done it before.”

I shake my head, “No, princess. It’s not just

sex. It’s a whole lot more.”

“It’s really not. At least not for me.” She

shakes her head, stands and walks over to her desk.
A deep chill fills the space between us.

“Bullshit.” I follow her and get in her face.

“You still have feelings for me. I felt it just now,
and I know you did too.”

“No, Cole. Do I want to have sex with you?

Yes. You make my body feel things no one else
does.” I nibble on the side of my mouth. She’s
throwing Zane in my face. If that’s the way she
wants to play it, I’m game.

“Good.” I reach out and rub my thumb

along her bottom lip. “As long as you know who
owns your body.”

“No one owns my body but me.”
I press on her lip causing it to fall open. “So

you cum for him the way you do for me?” She
sucks in a breath. “As hard? You give yourself over
as completely? And soak his dick with cum?”

She juts her chin out toward me. “Maybe.”
I take a shot, I call her bluff. “Liar.”
“Hey, I’m not the one that just put an end to

everything.” She changes the subject.

I take her hands in mine and meet her lips

again. She barely responds. She doesn’t look to
hold me. She barely touches me. This kiss is a lot
cooler than what just went down on the bed.

She’s measured. Controlled. A lot like she

was after we had sex the first time. I hold her chin
between my thumb and forefinger.

“I’m not about to fuck this up, Sam. No

matter how much you want me to.”

“That doesn’t even make sense. Why would

I want that? I just want us to both take what we
want.” She runs her hands over my chest and looks
up at me through her dark, thick lashes. Her hand
trails down my stomach, below the waistband of
my pants. She stops at my rock hard cock and
squeezes. Sam leans in and kisses my neck. “You
want to fuck me, Cole. I know you do. So do it.
Fuck me.”

I grab her wrists and pull her against me.

“Nothing in the world feels as good as being inside
you. But it’s not going to happen tonight. You want
another go round, come to the gala with me.”

She shakes her head. Her eyes fill with tears

and I’m not sure why. “No.”

“Why the hell not?” I raise my voice. I

don’t understand what the fuck is going on with
her.

“Because as long as it’s just sex and there

are no expectations, I won’t get hurt. I won’t think
about us as anything more. I won’t imagine some
happily ever after. If it’s just sex I can keep my
emotions in check. Because honestly, Cole, I don’t
want to feel anything for you ever again.”

Her words are hundreds of sharp blades

striking my heart.

“That’s the biggest load of bull I’ve ever

heard.” I hold her face in my hands and look long
and hard into her sad eyes. “You already have
feelings for me. And I have feelings for you. That’s
what makes everything so amazing. Sex isn’t going
to weaken those feelings. It’ll make them stronger
because you’re in my heart, Sam. And I’m in yours.
I messed up. I didn’t treat you right. I can do better,
princess. Let me.”

The tears turn into sobs. Now we’re getting

somewhere.

“No. Getting over you was so hard. And it

hurt so much. I don’t want to have to do that
again.”

I hate that she’s hurting this bad, but I’m

hurting right along with her. And she’s not over me.
She’s pretending. I need her to see, to trust that it
doesn’t have to be like this. That cutting me off is
the problem, not the solution. My lips are drawn to

her mouth. This time the kiss is sweet and tender.
She holds me tight.

“One night,” I whisper. “That’s all I’m

asking for. If you want to walk away at the end of
that night, I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Do you mean it?”
I nod. “But if it goes well, and we still feel

like this, you give us a chance. A real chance.”

She looks off to the side for a moment. “I

don’t know.”

“Take a chance. I won’t let you down.”
“When is it?”
“Two weeks from Friday.”
“If you change your mind—” I cut her off

with a kiss. My favorite way to shut her up.

“My mind won’t change.”
We stare at each other, neither of us ready

to make a move, until she gives the tiniest nod of
her head.

“Okay, I’ll come.”
“Good.” I take her hand and lead her back

to the bed. I lie down, stretch my legs out, and pull
her down next to me.

“What are you doing?” She asks.
“It’s been a long time since we talked. So

how about you talk, and I listen.”

“About?”
“Anything. School. Your roommate.

Anything that comes to mind. I want to hear it all.”

“How long do you have?”
“Until you’re finished.”

Chapter 20

Samantha

“OMG! You look amazing!”
“Thank you!” I spin around in front of my

camera again for Abby to see the complete picture.

“I can’t believe he got Tyler to help him.”
“Tell me about it. I almost passed out when

Ty came with a pre-paid credit card to escort me
dress shopping and then to have my hair, nails and
make up done.”

“So he convinced your brother and your

roommate to help him. Can you say full court
press?”

“More like trying too hard.” I’m quick to

dismiss giving Cole an ounce of credit.

“I wish someone would go through this

much trouble for me. It sounds super romantic.”

“You’re not helping Abs. You’re supposed

to be reminding me of all the reasons I shouldn’t be
going out with him. You were there, you saw how I
unraveled when he was with Callie.”

“Just for the record, he never really was

with Callie or Tyler would have his ass in a sling.
And if you had been honest I would’ve been right
by your side that night and I wouldn’t have let you
drink so much, or left you alone with Hunter.”

“I know.” I sit down at my desk. “I’m sorry.

Cole didn’t want anyone to know, and by the time
it all came down, I was too hurt and embarrassed to
tell you the truth. All I wanted to do was hurt him.
See, this just proves this is a dumb idea. I can’t do
this. I’m not strong enough.”

“You’re very strong. Besides, have you

looked in the mirror? You’re going to take his
breath away.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good thing.”
“Sam, this took a lot of effort on his part. It

sounds like he’s trying to make this special. Just
enjoy it.”

“I know. He’s been,” I examine my newly

manicured nails as I search for the words.
“Infuriatingly sweet. Calling, sending messages
every night, even when I don’t answer back.”

“Then maybe you should give Cole a

chance.”

I have a funny tightening in my chest at the

sound of his name. The same funny feeling I had up
until a few weeks ago. This is bad. No, it’s beyond
bad, it’s downright terrifying.

The knock at my door has me scrambling to

hang up.

“Oh come on, don’t I get to see his reaction

when he sees you?”

“I don’t think that’s what Cole wants.”
“Don’t you get it, you’re calling the shots

now.”

I nod. She has a point. Besides, this is a

good little test for him. If he has a problem saying a
quick hello to Abby, then nothing has changed.

I pull the door open and stare in a silent

stupor. My eyes flutter, I think I'm going to fall
backwards.

He’s gorgeous! He usually knocks me off

my feet, but in his black suit and bow tie, I wasn’t
prepared for this. His wavy hair that usually sits in
an unruly mess of dark curls is neatly combed and
parted to the side. He’s by far the most handsome
man I’ve ever seen.

I can’t speak. My brain is actual mush; like

I have a giant hand inside my head kneading and
massaging it, leaving me unable to function. It's not
right for him to go look this good. Once we walk
into the room, all eyes will be on him. I’m flooded
with feelings of insecurity. With just a look,
everyone will know he’s out of my league.

“Hi,” he says, with a smile, his eyes shining.
I swallow hard, searching for something to

say to get rid of the nervous energy running through
me.

“Did you forget about me?” Abby’s voice

rings out.

“I hope you don’t mind,” I say, still awed by

Cole. “Abby wants to have a peek at you all
dressed up.”

“Hey, Allie,” he smiles, leaning into the

camera.

“Abby!” I bump his shoulder with mine.
Cole laughs it off. “Sorry, Abby, but we

have to get going. She won’t have a chance to talk
to you for a few days. But don’t worry. I’ll make
sure she sends a text here and there, and I promise
to take good care of her.”

“A few days! We agreed to one night.” I

say, outraged.

His smile widens. “I plan on you having

such a good time, you’ll agree to be mine for the
weekend.”

“We agreed to tonight.”
Cole looks down at his watch. “C’mon, it’s

time to go.”

*

Cole looks at me with the same intense

longing I’ve seen in his eyes since he picked me up.
Every touch lasts a moment too long. Every look
smolders, bringing color to my cheeks, as he pairs a
look with a stroke of my exposed skin.

Cole inches in a bit closer as we move in

perfect precision to the music, slow music that
seems to want to keep us on the dance floor, locked
in each other’s arms. I want to taste the sweet
warmth of his delicious lips.

His hand crawls from the top of my back

down to the bottom, pressing me against him. My
body tingles everywhere, my insides quiver. He

knows what he’s doing, that he’s creating a fierce
desire inside me. That’s what he’s counting on.

In an attempt to escape the piercing look in

his deep blue eyes I lean into his chest, and rest my
head against him. The familiar scent of his cologne
comforts me, but only for a moment before it feeds
the growing fire burning deep inside.

I want him. More than ever.
Each beat of my heart, every breath brings

me closer to succumbing to this unyielding desire.
Every sweet caress only serves to prove we belong
together. No matter how I try to convince myself
that we’ll only end up hurting each other in the end,
I keep getting lost in the pleasure the present
promises. And I know Cole promises exhilarating
heights of pleasure.

A soft moan passes his lips, and I hold him

tighter, revel in the warmth of his hard body. My
fingers dig into the defined muscles beneath his
clothes. I know I don’t have the strength to fight
the cataclysmic pull that keeps me drawn to him,
that keeps me unable to move out of his arms.

I look around the large, dimly lit room, but

only for a few seconds. I don’t care about anything
else in here, not the decorations, or the people Cole
works with. The only thing I want, the only thing I
could wrap my brain around is Cole. Cole’s ocean
blue eyes and award winning smile. The feel of his
arms holding me against him. The fresh clean smell

that hangs on him no matter the time of day or
night.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers.

His breath tickles my ear.

I give myself the benefit of the doubt

thinking I could chance a look in his eyes and not
be captivated by their intensity. I’m wrong.

His eyes smolder, and I’m lost.
“I’ve missed you, too.”
He leans in, dips his head and presses his

lips against mine. Finally! They’re soft and warm,
as always. I don’t pull away. I want more. Much
more. My mouth opens, inviting him in as my hips
press against his.

My heart beats fast and fluttery. I want this

kiss. Wanted it since he picked me up. Our tongues
swirl in unison and there’s power in this kiss. Pure,
live energy threading us together. Connecting us.
I’m dizzy when he pulls away. All I want is to pull
his mouth back to me. But I can’t, because we’re in
public. We can’t make spectacle out of ourselves.

Reality settles in. Cole kissed me! Kissed

me in front of a room full of people. He kissed me
for everyone to see. Sweet and gentle. Like I mean
something to him. I’m hit with a wall of emotion.
It’s a strange, foreign, feeling, that’s so strong it
scares the living daylights out of me.

His eyes trail from my head down. All the

way down. I don’t miss how they hesitate at the

neckline of my dress. The longing in his eyes along
with his very public show of affection has my toes
curling.

“Do you feel that?” He brings his mouth

beside my ear and speaks in a soft velvety tone.
“Your pulse racing, the swirling of your stomach?”
I don’t answer. I feel that and so much more I don’t
even know how to describe it. “Do you feel the
heat between us? It’s a fire burning wild and out of
control. It’s getting bigger and hotter by the
minute.”

He kisses me again. This time there’s hunger

and need in his kiss. One hand gets lost in my hair,
the fingers on the other hand press into my flesh.
He wants more. He wants all of me, and I want to
give in, give him everything. I swallow hard, still
delusional that I have an ounce of control over
what I’m doing or where things are leading.

“This is how it could be, Sam. How it

should have been the first time. Give me a second
chance. Let me prove to you that you’re my
princess.”

That’s the final straw. I’m done fighting to

keep away from him. I’m ready to give in to the
man that knows my body in ways no one else does.
To the man that owns my heart. He strokes my hair,
waiting for my response.

“Okay. You win. You have your second

chance.” I answer, hoping to hide the fact that I’m

a prisoner to his every whim.

Chapter 21

Cole

“I want you so bad it hurts,” I manage to get

out between kisses.

Honestly I don’t know how the fuck I drove

home with this raging hard on. But I sure as shit
wasn’t going to fuck her in the car.

The second the door closes behind us, and

we’re down the steps, my lips are on her. I know
the spot that drives her crazy, and I’m not above
exploiting it to get what I want.

Sam’s finds my bulge and runs her hand over

my length while I take greedy handfuls of her
breasts. My chest heaves as my tongue slides up the
side of her neck. Her fingers pull at my hair, and
she moans my name. I grab her wrists and hold
them up against the wall behind her as I grind my
rock hard cock into her.

“I want to touch you.”
I release her so that her hurried hands can

work with mine to get us out of these clothes. She
shoves the jacket off my shoulders and slides it
down my arms. She tosses it to the floor and with
trembling hands gets to work on my shirt buttons.

“You sure your parents aren’t going to freak?”

She asks breathlessly.

“Not a chance. Down here is mine.”

I lift her dress and run my hand over her

mound. Her soft, warm, bare mound!

“Oh, you little tease!” I slip my finger between

her slick folds. “You had nothing on all night?” I
plunge my finger deep inside her, making her gasp
and quickly adding another. “I should take you
over my knee and teach you a lesson,” my teeth
close gently on her ear lobe.

She pulls my open shirt from my pants and

traces each line of my chest and abdomen. I’m
certain she can feel the fierce pounding of my heart
beneath her fingers. Fire bred of passion rages
through me. I need her to quench the scorching
flames. I need to feel her wetness drench my
throbbing cock and extinguish this unrelenting
need.

I cup her ass, and she moans into my mouth. I

can’t take much more. I need her. Now.

I lift her up and press her into the wall. Her

hands clasp together behind my head and she wraps
her legs around my waist.

“Is this a bad time to mention my no-sex-on-a-

first-date policy?”

I feel my face drop. I don’t trust my ears. She

can’t mean that. Sam’s just as eager for me as I am
for her. I have the proof of that all over my fingers.

“You said it yourself, we’ve done it before.”
“And you said you wanted a second a

chance.”

I’ve been waiting for this moment all night.

For the last two weeks. But Sam’s right. I promised
to treat her like a princess. If it means I have to jerk
off, so be it, but this is more disappointing than
learning Santa’s not real.

“I’m kidding,” she says with a big smile,

slapping me on the shoulder.

“You’re not funny.” I nip at her bottom lip and

trace my tongue over it.

She pulls my head to her mouth. “Fuck me,

Cole.”

She doesn’t have to ask twice. “Touch

yourself,” I order as I open my belt buckle and
shove my pants and boxers down.

I need to make sure she’s good and ready

because I’m not going to last long. Holding her up
by her ass and spreading her cheeks, I position
myself at her entrance.

“Are you sure?” This is her one and only

chance to back out.

“Yes!”
I press my length into her, feel her swollen

pussy stretch around me. Being inside Samantha is
my version of heaven. My happy place.

My eyes roll back right along with her head.

Her moans send me spiraling up like a rocket in the
air. She’s my drug, my addiction, and I was forced
into withdrawal. This is my first fix of her after
going without and I already know the dependency

is stronger, deeper, than before.

I thrust inside her, bouncing her up and down

on my dick. My mouth covers hers, drowning out
her moans and cries of pleasure. Each kiss grows
deeper. Hungrier. Needier. Until I can’t take
anymore and I allow myself the glorious release
I’ve been yearning for and explode inside of her.

Sweaty and spent of all my energy, I cradle

Sam’s head on my shoulder. It’s now that I realize I
didn’t put a condom on.

“Sam, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking . . . I didn’t

. . .” I set her down on the ground, steady her, and
pull my pants back up. At a loss for words, I run my
hand through my hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she smiles, and rests her hand on

my cheek.

“I came inside you,” I say, full of guilt.
She smiles at me, and as bad as I feel, I’m

equally happy. We just had sex and she’s touching
me. Like she used to when we’d meet up in my car.
This is a huge win. A comforting warmth spreads
through my body.

“I’ve been on the pill for the last year to

regulate my period.”

I’m so relieved, I don’t focus on the fact that

she could’ve mentioned this months ago.

“So this is your place?” She asks.
I nod, not sure what I see in her eyes and

afraid she’s going to call me out for being a shit and

never inviting her over.

I reach my arm around her waist and pull her

close. “Let me show you around,” I joke, kissing
her on the cheek. We walk a few steps to the left
and enter the kitchen area that consists of a small
sink, a set of four upper cabinets and lower
cabinets, a college sized refrigerator, and a table for
two.

“It’s nothing great, but it’s mine.” I take her

hand, entwine our fingers together and lead her to
the living and sleeping area on the other side of the
large room. “As you can see, my bed is here,”

“And let me guess, you spend most of your

time here,” she smirks sarcastically.

“Yes. To sleep.” I kiss her cheek again.
I point out the couch against the wall. “And I

have this in case your brother or the guys come
hang out, so we can sit and have beer without all
being on the bed. That’s just weird. Oh, and I
almost forgot. I lead her to the door on the wall
where the television hangs, the bathroom is in
here.”

“Maybe I should go get cleaned up,” she

smirks at me.

She has a point. I’m sure I left her in a mess,

with my cum running down her legs. I’m afraid
though, if I let her out of my sight for even a
minute, she’s going to withdraw again. I don’t want
to risk it because I just got her back.

I cradle her face in my hands. “Of course.

Sam, I want you make yourself at home. Whatever
you want it’s yours.”

“It’s cute to see you trying so hard.”
She’s got me by the balls and she knows it!

Right now, I don’t give a fuck. “As long as it makes
you happy. Oh,” I retrieve a messenger bag from
the side of the bed. “I know I didn’t give you any
notice, so I had Tyler pack some clothes for you.”

Her eyes open wide. “Before today, the last

time I spoke to my brother about you, I had to stop
him from coming over here and killing you. How
did you get him on board with all this?”

“Simple, I told him the truth.”
“And what’s the truth?”
“The truth is, I love you.”

*

No response. None! She took the bag from me,

ran her hand down my chest and went to hide in the
bathroom. Yes, hide. I know that’s what she’s
doing. She’s running away from her feelings and
from me.

What the fuck am I doing?
That’s the second time I told her I love her and

the second time she didn’t even acknowledge it. I
wasn’t sure if she heard me the first time, but this
time, I saw the fear in her eyes before she ran off
with her tail between her legs.

It makes no sense. Zero. Sam all but admitted

that she was in love with me that first night. Didn’t
she? Or am I reading this all wrong? Twisting the
memories to fit some romantic theme. Am I trying
to force a bad experience into some sort of real life
rom-com?

No. Her father made is clear she’s had feelings

for me for a long time when he threatened to feed
me my dick if I hurt her again. Tyler confirmed it.
So why is it when I tell her I love her she runs the
other way and not into my arms?

I hear the shower as I sit at the edge of my bed

and hold my head. I’m at a loss. A total fucking
loss. I want to say that her behavior is irrational and
that this isn’t like Sam, but even from the
beginning, she ran hot and cold at the flip of a
switch.

And when it comes to me, she’s always quick

to think the worst. She barely gave me a chance to
speak that next morning at the coffee shop. She
kept going on about letting me off the hook, when
all I wanted to do was figure out how we could
make things work. She wouldn’t hear me out when
she saw me with Callie, and didn’t bother to take a
cooling off period before messing around with
Zane. I know I said I forgive her, and I do. Mostly.
But still, it hurts.

She takes so long in there, I’m not sure if she’s

actually getting cleaned up, or just using it as an
excuse to avoid me.

I wrap lightly on the door. No response. I turn

the handle and go inside to make sure she’s okay.

I see her silhouette through the opaque shower

door. Sam’s standing under the stream of water,
rinsing her hair off. I chide myself for being
insecure and invading her privacy until I hear the
undeniable sound of a sniffle.

“Sam,” I call out.
She doesn’t answer. I consider going back out

into the other room and waiting for her to finish,
but change my mind when I hear the sound again,
followed by a sob. It twists my heart. I need to be
close to her, comfort her. I strip down and open the
shower door.

I catch her off guard. Her mouth hangs opens

when she notices me standing there. A tear rolls
down her cheek. I step in and close the door behind
me. Sam’s big green eyes stare up at me with fear
and surprise. I’ve never seen her this vulnerable. I
can’t take my eyes off of her, off the way the water
rolls off her dark wavy hair. How a lone drop sits
on her bottom lip.

“Cole, I . . .” her bottom lip trembles.
“Shh. I got you.”
It’s at this moment I realize for all her

strength, she’s equally fragile, and I’m scared to
death that if I don’t handle this right, she might
break.

I swipe my thumb over her lip and kiss away

the tear. Sam doesn’t say anything, she steps into
me, brings her hands to my waist and leans her
head against my chest.

Even through the stream of water, I feel the

tears running down her cheeks, feel her body shake
as she cries. If being naked, and/or having sex is the
only way to get her to let me in and allow herself to
feel, then so be it.

We stand under the water in silence for a long

while. Sam sobs in my arms while I stroke her back
and kiss her head. Neither of us move until the
tears stop and the pads of our fingers shrivel like
raisins.

Chapter 22

Samantha

Wrapped in towels, we stand in front of Cole’s

bed staring at each other. I don’t know what came
over me in the shower. Overwhelmed with emotion,
I let our problems creep into my mind. From there,
fear and insecurity invaded and took control.

All the bad stuff evaporated in the comfort of

Cole’s arms. I felt safe. Protected. Like nothing in
the world could hurt me, and if anything even tries
Cole will be there. By my side. And we’ll slush
through it together.

Cole opens my towel and uses it as a tool to

pull me to him. His eyes soak me in, study me. His
gaze is strong. Powerful. Fire mixed with all-out-
need burns in his hooded eyes. I feel their grip on
me, caressing me, urging me closer.

His look challenges me to trust him, to stay

here, in this moment with him. His mouth moves to
my neck. His lips and tongue brush against my skin,
and act like a switch. They light me up and turn me
on.

Cole massages my shoulders and guides me to

sit on the edge of the bed.

"You’re gorgeous," Cole says, dropping to his

knees in front of me.

“What are you doing?” I try to scoot back but

he won’t let me.

"Worshiping you," he whispers, as his mouth

meets my belly.

My pulse races. I tremble with need. Need that

grows stronger with each passing second. A need to
touch him. A need to kiss him. To have his body put
demands on mine. I feel it in a way I never have
before. I ache for him to take the next step.

Cole's fingertips ghost over my skin as they

slip from my shoulders down to my breasts. He
wraps his arms around me, urging me closer. I arch
my back toward him as his teeth clamp gently
around my nipple. It's not enough.

Impatient for more, I hold his head tight to my

chest. I don't want him to stop sucking and nibbling.
His mouth is so intense, it almost hurts. But the
pleasure I'm getting outweighs any discomfort and I
want more. My head rolls back as I press my hands
against the mattress for support. I moan, as his
tongue flicks back and forth over my nipple. I don't
think I'll be able to hold out much longer.

"Do you have any idea how bad I want you,

princess?"

"Then take me."
Cole’s eyes twinkle with mischief as he pushes

me down so that my back is flat. He grips my hips,
and pulls me so my ass is hanging half-off of the
edge of the bed. His fingers trail up my legs, to the
crease where my legs and my middle come

together. I expect to feel one slip inside, but they
retreat. Move out toward my hips instead. Cole
inches his hands down my legs at a painfully slow
pace. Once he gets to my knees, he stops. I squirm
on the bed because I don't want him to stop. I want
to press myself against him. Convince him to take
me now.

"Do you want to cum?" I hear his ragged

breath, and it turns me on more, if that's possible.

I nod.
"Say it."
"I want to cum."
He shakes his head with a cocky grin, and I

want to hit him. "Come on, Sam. Like you mean it."

Frustrated, my hands find my hair. Writhing on

the bed, I let my hands move down my face and
neck. They roam over my breasts and graze my
hard nipples like they do when I think of him.

"Cole," I hear the breathlessness in my voice,

and damn him, if he won't finish what he started, I
will.

One hand stays at my breast, the other

continues the path, down my center, over stomach,
past my belly button. I can't believe he's going to
make me do this, but right now I don't care. I want
the release, I need it more than I need my pride.

"I need to cum, now, Cole!"
This does the trick. In a hard, swift motion, he

throws my knees apart, causing me to gasp in

surprise and anticipation.

"You're so fucking wet." he says looking

between my legs. "So fucking beautiful."

Before I can respond, I feel the warmth of his

mouth on the inside of my thigh. He lifts my legs
and rests my feet on his shoulders. I realize what
he's about to do, but before I panic, the sensation of
his tongue brushes against my core.

I grab the sheets and clench them tight as I

feel his tongue slip in and out of my pussy. I can't
control my breathing or moaning. Just as I get used
to the rhythm, he switches gears and his tongue
teases my clitoris, flicking over it, circling around it.

The sounds I make get louder as he follows

this pattern alternating between using his tongue to
fuck and tease me with long delicious laps, until I
can't take it anymore. My body tenses. I go rigid.
I'm afraid he's going to stop before I can finish.

Even as I shudder and spasm, he keeps with it.

I try to move, push away because this is the most
intense orgasm I've had in my life. Cole holds me in
place as his name slips off my lips. He doesn't let up
until my body comes down off the ceiling and
relaxes once again.

"How do you feel?" He asks kissing his way

back up to my lips.

"Amazing."
"Good." A satisfied smirk lights up his face.
"Why are you so happy?"

"Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting to taste

you for months. That was so fucking hot."

"You liked it?"
Cole grabs a pillow and adjusts himself on the

bed so that only his feet hang off. He pulls me up
next to him, and wraps me tight in his arms.

"I didn't just like it. Getting you to scream my

name like that, was exhilarating."

I bring my hand between his legs, but he stops

me. I look at him confused, wondering why he
doesn't want me to touch him.

"Tonight is about you."
"But I want to try to make you to feel good,

too."

"I just did something I've imagined since our

first kiss, and now I get to fall asleep next to you
and wake up with you in my arms. Nothing can feel
better than that."

Cole doesn’t sleep, at least not very much. I

lay my head on his chest, shut my eyes and drift
off. I wake a few times through the night when he
moves and settles us under the covers, and when I
feel his fingertips trace over and around my nipples,
but I manage to fall right back to sleep in the arms
of the man who owns my heart and my body.

Chapter 23

Cole

I set the freshly cooked bacon and eggs along

with the basket of muffins on the table in the little
kitchen area. Sam’s eyelids flutter as I climb back
into bed next to her. She reaches for me, stretches
her arm across my chest and snuggles up against
me.

I could get used to this.
“Morning, princess,” I hug her tight.
“Good morning.” A contented smile settles on

her lips, filling me with pride. “Mmm. Is that bacon
I smell?”

“Fresh cooked.”
“That’s my favorite!”
“I know.” I kiss the top of her head. “That’s

why it’s here, along with some banana muffins.”

Her eyes open wide. “No way! Banana

muffins?” Her excitement is infectious. “Really? I
haven’t had one in years.”

“I remember how much you liked when my

mom baked them and I’d bring them over for you.”

“You mean for my brother.”
I shake my head. “I mean for you. He stole

them, but they were meant for you. I just couldn’t
tell him that. Looking back, he probably knew. I bet
that’s why he tried to eat them all before you could

have any.”

“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“I hope so. C’mon,” I nudge her with my

shoulder. “We should eat before the food gets
cold.”

“You mean you’d rather eat than stay in bed

with me?”

She pulls me down on top of her. I let her,

careful to rest my weight on my forearms so I don’t
crush her. I hold her head as my lips brush against
hers, for a proper morning salutation. My mouth
moves to her neck and the spot behind her ear.

"You didn't eat much last night, and you need

to keep your energy up,” I whisper. “Because if
you don't eat you'll be weak, and you might not be
able to handle what I have in store for you tonight."

Her eyes open wide. I can almost see her

salivate as she imagines what I’m referring to. I
contemplate reaching my hand between her legs
and stroking her to build the fire, but I know if I do,
we aren’t eating, and possibly not leaving my bed,
and that’s not what this weekend is about.

“Come on.” I say climbing off her and getting

to my feet. “We have a full itinerary.”

She sits up holding the sheet over her breasts.

Now I have her attention. “Itinerary? Can’t we just
stay here?”

“No.” I say pulling a t-shirt out of my draw.

“We’re, out on the town. First, we ice skate.”

“Really?” She lights up. “I haven’t been ice

skating in so long.”

“Yep.” I answer, pulling my shirt over her

head. And then we’ll come back and get ready for
dinner.”

Excitement lights her eyes. “Are we going

somewhere?”

“Yes.” I take her hand in mine and pull her up

off the bed. “But we aren’t going alone.”

“Is Tyler coming?” She doesn’t look thrilled

with the idea of her brother joining us. Good
because that’s not the plan.

“No. But you do have to text him and let him

know you’re having a good time, or else he’ll bust
in here and ruin everything.”

She pulls her phone out of her pocketbook,

“Then who are we going with?”

“ I thought, if you don’t mind, we could have

dinner with my parents.”

“Your parents? Cole, I don’t know.”
I take a few steps so that I’m standing in front

of her. I look down at her in nothing but my shirt
and a sense of possessiveness fills me. The pink of
her nipples shadows through the white material.

“Are you embarrassed of being with me?”
She shakes her head. “It’s just, they’ll have

questions and, I don’t know.”

“I do. They’re looking forward to seeing you.”
Her face fills with color. She is embarrassed.

“But then . . . OMG, If we’re not quiet. They’ll
know. Cole! I think they might have heard us last
night.” her hands cover her mouth. She looks
mortified. “I can’t face your parents!”

I chuckle. “You’re not embarrassed of being

seen with me, you’re embarrassed of people
knowing we’re fucking.” I say, brushing my thumb
over the hardened peaks of her perky tits causing
the area around them to pebble.

“Cole!”
“I have news for you, princess. They already

know. Why do you think my mother baked the
banana muffins? She knows you’re here, and how
much this weekend means to me.”

“She does?” Sam looks spooked.
“Um hmm. Now sit your ass down, and eat.” I

say, lifting the covers off the plates with the warm
food.

There’s so much more I want to say, to

reassure her. Tell her how empty I felt over the last
month without her. How my parents took notice.
That they, more than anyone know how much she
means to me, but I’m afraid if I do, she’ll shut
down again. As much as I want to spend time
naked with her, it’s more important to take her out
on the town.

I have thirty six hours left to let my actions

speak for me. I’m going to continue doing
everything in my power to show, not tell her, what

she means to me. Starting right now.

Chapter 24

Samantha

“Cole, I don’t know how to thank you for this

weekend. It’s been . . .” I search for the perfect
word, but can’t find one to express all the different
emotions running through me. “I feel like I stepped
out of my life and into one of those happily ever
after fairytales.”

“Fairytale huh? I don’t remember any of those

princess characters having sex of any sort, let alone
the insane fucking we’ve had over the last few
days, or else they would’ve held my interest a lot
better.”

“You’re such a jerk!” I say, with a huge smile

on my face.

“Unless,” he wears a quizzical look. “You

know that one chick that lived with the seven little
men. I bet they saw some action,” he winks at me.

“Little men? They’re Dwarfs, silly.”
“Do you know for a fact that’s what they want

to be called, I mean you never know, that might be
an offensive term.”

I rip the corner of my napkin, roll it between

my thumb and forefinger and toss it at him.

“Seriously,” he reaches across the table and

takes my hand. You’d think after two days of being

touched and kissed by Cole constantly, of sleeping
in his arms and waking to his smile, I’d be immune
to the warmth and the tingles that come with his
touch. I’m not. A million years might pass and he’ll
still make me swoon. “The point was for this to be
some sort of grand gesture to show you what you
mean to me.”

“Grand gesture? You mean like in the eighties

movies when the guy shows up with a large boom
box or rides on a lawn mower under the girl’s
window.”

“Maybe not exactly like that.” He picks at the

fries left on my plate. “But, aside from the gala; the
movies, ice skating, dinner, we could’ve done it all
near your school, but I wanted to do it here, where
people we know would see us. Where I could bring
my girlfriend to have dinner with my parents, not
Tyler’s little sister.”

“Cole, I never complained about keeping us a

secret.” His eyebrow quirks up, along with the
corner of his lip. I shrug. “Okay, maybe I
complained a little bit, but that’s because it kept me
from spending time with you. That’s all I wanted.”

He squeezes my hand, and his blue eyes grip

me, they cradle my heart and hold me frozen in
place. “You should’ve complained. A lot. I just
didn’t realize how wrong it was, how wrong I was,
until now.”

I don’t have a clue what to say. I shouldn’t be

shaking in my skin, but I am. I’m too nervous to
look at him. My eyes fall to the table. “The
weekend is pretty much over.”

“I know. I’m all too aware of how empty my

bed is going to be tonight,” his eyes twinkle.

Now he has my body tingling with his words.

Maybe spending an entire weekend together wasn’t
the smartest idea. I had a better time than I thought
possible, and feel closer to Cole than I have to
anyone ever. It terrifies me!

Cole made me feel special. Like I really am his

princess. It’s the little things he did like the banana
muffins and dinner with his parents that drilled him
deep in my heart, deeper than he was the first time.

And then the alone time! I don’t know if it’s

because I missed him so much or because I was so
nervous the first few times we had sex together, but
Cole made my body shake and tremble then
explode in ecstasy. Every touch sends my pulse
racing and ignites a fire down below. And my heart,
it literally beats for him.

I’m under his spell again. This time it’s worse

than before because I know how fast and hard I
spiraled out of control. How deep the pain of being
hurt and betrayed by him ran. This isn’t where I
want to be. It’s not healthy. I need space. I need
room to breathe in a Cole free environment to get
my head together.

“I made it clear where I stand. I want you. I

want us.” he brushes his thumb over the back of my
hand. “The ball is in your court.” He keeps his eyes
glued on me, and I swear I think he’s holding his
breath. After a long moment of silence he adds,
“Hopefully that starts with you saying you forgive
me.”

“Yes, Cole. I forgive you.”
His smile lights up the diner. “Then why are

your eyes watery as if you’re about to cry.”

“Because I hate you!”
My words wipe the smile off his face and dim

the light in his eyes. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I hate you for being so . . . perfect. Because

perfect doesn’t exist. It isn’t real, which means
you’re lying.”

“About what?”
“I don’t know. But I hate you for it. And I

hate you for making me feel special because I’m
not. And acting like I am, is a practical joke. One
where I end up covered in pigs blood and everyone
laughs at me.” My voice cracks and I’m about to
lose it.

“Sam,” his brows furrow together. “Where the

hell is this coming from?”

“I hate you for being everything I ever

wanted, Cole. Everything. Especially after this
weekend, because it was the most amazing
weekend of my life.”

A look of relief washes across his face. “You

had me nervous. For a minute I thought you were
serious.”

I take a long look in his eyes before I speak

again. “I am serious.”

“You don’t hate me, Sam.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You want to hate me,” his voice is soft and

velvety. “If you hate me, it’s easier than facing the
truth.”

“And what do you think the truth is?”
Cole’s blue eyes close a moment too long.

“You’re afraid. Your world has been shaken up
over the last few months. You expect me to hurt
you, just like everyone else. Like it’s inevitable. I
get it. I really do. But I’m not going to do it. I swear
Sammie.”

I wipe the dampness from under my eyes.
He’s wrong, but how can I tell him? Tell the

person that owns my heart that he will hurt me,
break me, when he realizes I’m not worthy of him
or the thoughtfulness and attention he’s shown me
all weekend?

That he’s the most amazing guy in the world

and knowing he cares so much terrifies me? That it
highlights how broken I am inside?

The only way Cole will understand is if I tell

him everything. Everything. And I’m too chicken to
do that because he won’t ever again look at me the
way he is right now. The way he has all weekend.

He’ll hate me.
Even thinking there’s a remote chance that

Cole Andrews can hate me, kills me inside.

Chapter 25

Cole

I lost her. I had her right where I wanted,

Right where I hoped and she shut down. We drive
back to her dorm room in silence. I want to touch
her, pull her back to me, but I don’t. I’m done
reaching out. I’m done putting myself out there just
to be shot down. If she wants me, she can take the
chance.

“You’re very quiet,” she says, looking down at

her hands when we’re ten minutes away.

I shrug. “There’s not much to say. You seem to

be dead set on pushing me away, and I’m tired of
getting shot down.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Yes it is.” I hear the frustration in my voice.

“It’s the same thing you’ve been doing to your
father.” I don’t know why I bring him up now.
Mentioning him is only going to piss her off.

“My father is different!” She insists.
“How’s that?”
“I know what I saw.”
I shake my head. “No, you don’t. You knew

what you saw with me and Callie, and you were
wrong about that, too. You’re quick to jump to
conclusions. You fill in the blanks with what you
think fits neatly as long as someone lets you down.

As long as someone else is to blame. I have news
for you, Samantha. Sometimes life, isn’t neat and it
doesn’t fit into a box. This is one of those times.”

“He gave up. He left us!” She yells.
“Is that what this is about? Are you pushing

me so hard to find my breaking point? To see how
long before I give up? Because I have to tell you,
I’m at the end of my rope.”

“Don’t you get it, I’m scared. And I don’t

want to end up like my mother.”

“Your mother is the catalyst in all this. You’re

happy to sit here and put your father through hell,
never once asking for his side of the story. Yes, he
kissed his secretary, but that was only after your
mother asked him to move out.”

“You’re wrong,” she argues. Her confidence

evaporates with every word.

“No, Sam. Your mother is the one that

cheated. She’s been having an affair for the last
year. She hurt your father.”

“No. She wouldn’t do that. You don’t know

what you’re talking about.”

“Why don’t you confront her? Ask her?” I can

keep going, give Sam more details, but it’s obvious
she doesn’t want to believe me. She might as well
cover her ears, jump up and down, and stomp her
feet in a bid to shut me up.

This isn’t how I wanted to tell her. I promised

Mr. Stone I’d help him. But the way things are

going tonight, if I don’t get it out right now, I might
not have another chance.

“Did you ever bother asking him for his side?

No. And it makes no sense. Your father is crazy
about you.”

“He destroyed me.”
“He didn’t destroy you. Your mother did, but

you’re dead set on hurting him, on punishing him.
Just like your punishing me.

I pull into the parking lot and turn the engine

off.

“I’m not trying to punish you,” she yells

getting out and slamming the door. “I’m punishing
me! I fucked up, Cole. Me. And I’m not asking you
to forgive me because I can’t forgive myself.”

*

I sit in the car, debating what to do. I want to

go after Sam, but the more I chase her the faster
and further away she’ll run. We had an amazing
weekend together; we talked, we laughed, we held
each other. I thought we were in a good place.
What the hell happened?

This isn’t how I wanted to leave things. I

wanted to walk Sam to her room, hold her in my
arms and kiss her long and hard when we said
goodbye.

Why am I sitting in the car?
I hit the wheel out of frustration with the

bottom of my hand, get out and and head to the

dormitory after her.

I grab the open door as someone leaves the

building and head up to Samantha’s room. Her door
is open when I get there, and son of a bitch, she’s
sitting on her bed with Zane’s arms around her.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I don’t realize

the words leave my mouth until I hear my voice,
“I’m done. I’m so fucking done!” I turn and head
back down the hall to leave.

“Cole, no!” She calls after me.
I don’t stop. I know she ran to Zane when she

saw me with Callie. I choked that down and put
that behind us. I know he was still in the picture
when we moved her in, but now? We had a great
weekend together. I didn’t even leave yet and he’s
already here?

I’m. Fucking. Done.
I take the steps two at a time because I can’t

get out of here fast enough.

“Cole!” Sam’s voice rings out in the night air.
I should ignore her and keep going. I shouldn’t

hear her out. But I stop. I turn and face the girl up
until an hour and a half ago I thought I had a future
with, and glare at her.

“What!”
“I swear I didn’t know he was coming. I got

up to my room and he was there.” She wipes under
her eyes with her fingers.

“Whatever. I don’t give a fuck anymore.”

“Don’t . . . Don’t say that!” Fear sounds in her

voice.

“Why not? I don't know what to do anymore.

You've got me twisted in knots. One minute you act
like you want me, like I’m the only man in the
world you could be with, the next, you're looking to
hook up with another guy.”

“That’s not what happened.”
“I thought we had something real. I thought

we were worth fighting for. Shit that’s all I did for
the last month,” I run my hand through my hair. I
need to end this conversation now because looking
in Sam’s sad eyes boils my blood. I don’t want to
say something I’ll regret. “You made your point,
Sam. You’re not willing to fight or even try, so I’m
giving you what you want, I’m walking away.” I
take one step before I hear her voice.

“Cole, no! I’m willing to fight.” I turn back to

her and find her nibbling on her bottom lip.
“Please, I want to try. In the car . . .” She looks off
to the side for a moment before meeting my stare.
“My emotions are so strong and confused, I had a
hard time expressing myself.”

“It didn’t look like you had a problem

expressing yourself to Zane.”

“He’s leaving for boot camp and came to say

goodbye. That’s all this is. I swear. Call Austin and
ask him if you don’t believe me.”

“Call Austin? I shouldn’t have to call anyone

to check on you. That’s not who I am and that’s not
the kind of relationship I want.”

I reach my hand around to the back of my

neck. I’m wrecked again. Because of her. There
comes a point where you realize you’re fighting a
battle you can never win. I’m there. And I’m ready
to surrender.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I don’t have the energy for

this anymore.”

She reaches out for me, grabs my belt loops,

just like she did the night we first got together, and
pulls me to her. I don’t extend my arms to touch
her. I just look down at her beautiful face.
Memorizing the curve of her cheek, and the slope
of her nose. Even the curl of her long dark lashes.

“Please, Cole, don’t give up on me.”

Chapter 26

Samantha

“This sucks,” I say with sigh looking waiting

for my best friend to help pick me up.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t push the issue with

Cole the night my brother overdosed. I pushed and
I set this all in motion. I’m not sure where I stand
with him. He’s right to be upset and frustrated with
me. And he’s right, I don’t hate him. I’m scared to
death of how I feel for him.

If anyone ever suggested I’d put myself in a

situation where I’d offer up my body to a random
guy I never met before to do body shots, and who
knows what else, I never would’ve believed it. I’d
bet every cent I have in my college fund I’d never
let myself fall so far, and I’d be dead-ass-broke
right now.

“You love him, idiot,” Abby says, through my

tablet. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “I
understand why you said the rest of it, but why
didn’t you tell him you love him at the end?”

“I don’t know. I keep thinking when he finds

out what happened that night, he’s going to be so
mad he’s never going to talk to me again.”

“So you ended things before they started? You

hurt him instead of the other way around?”

“No. I mean, I don’t know what I did or what

I’m doing. It doesn’t matter. It’s been a week and I
haven’t heard from him.”

“Did you call him? Text him? Have you done

anything to show him you want him the way he
showed you?” She asks mashing her lips together
after dressing them up with gloss.

“I told him I wanted to work through it, and he

didn’t believe me.”

“Can you blame him? He walked in and found

you sitting on your bed with Zane’s arms around
you.”

“It wasn’t like that.”
“It doesn’t matter. That’s how he saw it. He

took a back seat to Zane the day you moved into
your dorm. Who knows what he’s heard about you
guys since. Remember, people talk, and there were
a lot of people at that party. You don’t know what’s
being said. He’s still home. You’re not.”

I bang my head on the desk in front of me.

She’s right. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”

“Like it or not, I am being your friend. You

need to get your shit together or you’re going to
lose him for good, if you haven’t already.”

Have I lost him? Did I push him too far?

That’s the real question. It’s a question I’m afraid
to get the answer to.

“I have to go.”
“Don’t you dare, Sam,” she warns.
I press a button on my tablet to end the call.

It’s a bitchy move, but I don’t want to be lectured. I
just want someone to tell me how wrong Cole is
and how I should forget him and move on.

No one will. Not my roommate, or my best

friend. And I wish someone would tell me exactly
when hell froze over because even my brother’s on
Cole’s side.

*

“You moved out?” I ask, not believing my

ears.

“I didn’t want to tell you how bad things

were,” Tyler explains. “I know you’re having a
hard time with everything, but I couldn’t take it
anymore.”

“I don’t understand. Why?”
“Sam, it’s not the same at home. Mom’s

boyfriend and I, we just don’t get along. I hate him
actually. And he’s always there.”

“Boyfriend?” My heart skips a beat. No. I

must have heard wrong.

“Yeah, and he acts like he’s in control of

everything, telling mom what I need is tough love,
threatening to kick me out if I don’t get a job, like
I’m not looking. Like anything going on in my life
is any of his fucking business.”

I don’t understand. My brain hurts. “What are

you talking about? Mom has a boyfriend?”

My brother sighs. “She didn’t tell you?”
“No.”

“Fuck,” he sighs. “She promised. I’m not

surprised. After the blow out we had when she told
me, Neil probably ordered her not to. Needless to
say, I don’t like him. He thinks he could tell me
what to do, and it’s not happening. I’m done living
under that roof.”

“This doesn’t make any sense. Why would

mom have a boyfriend so soon? I mean why would
she allow someone she just met to act that?”

“I’m sorry, Sammie. I didn’t mean to spring

this on you. But they didn’t just meet. They’ve
been together for a while.”

This must be where Cole got the idea that my

mother was the one having an affair.

“What am I going to do when I come home for

Thanksgiving and Christmas?”

“Stay with Dad and me.”
“Yeah, no thanks. I’m not talking to him.”
“You can change that.”
I’m only half listening. I think I lost my mind.

My mother has a boyfriend? and she’s letting him
come between her and Tyler? She was heartbroken
over the summer when my brother overdosed.
Wasn’t she? She was heartbroken. Was it over her
relationship with my father? Or lack thereof? Why
else would she have a boyfriend so soon after he
moved out?

Was Cole right?
“Ty?” I know I shouldn’t ask, shouldn’t put

him in the middle, but I need help, and all I’ve done
by doing this on my own is screw everything up.
“How’s Cole?”

I’m not sure, but I think my brother growls at

me. Some annoyed noise crosses over the phone
line. “Do me a favor, sis. Keep me out of your
drama.”

My heart sinks. “What the fuck, Tyler? You’re

there for him, but not for me? I’m your fucking
sister.”

“If you remember, I was the one that thought

that you two getting together wasn’t a good idea,
and for this reason. As for him, yeah, I helped him.
I knew where he was at, I thought you were there
too, but all it did was destroy my friend, so you
know what, I’m out.”

My stomach drops. “Destroy him?”
“What did you think you’re little stunt was

going to do?” Tyler’s so pissed his voice scares me.
He let this boil and simmer inside him for a week
and a half. I’m surprised he hasn’t called to bitch
me out. I’m glad I’m not standing in front of him.

“Tyler, no.” I have a strange ache in my chest.

“There was no stunt.”

“Right, you didn’t plan for Zane to be in your

room waiting when you got back just to hurt Cole?”

“No! Does he really think I’d go out of my

way to hurt him like that?”

“Isn’t that what you did when you saw him

with Callie?”

Guilt blackens my heart. That’s exactly what I

did. I can’t ask my brother the details of what he
knows. I admitted to being somewhere, doing
something I wasn’t proud of. And he knows Zane
was involved. Did Zane tell Austin that he saved
me from humiliating myself with Hunter? A heavy
silence falls between us.

“I meant to hurt Cole then. Not now. Not after

I spent the weekend with him.”

I close my eyes as I ask my brother a question

I’m afraid to hear the answer to. It’s one of two
questions I’m terrified to ask. “Does he hate me?”

“I told you, I’m out.”
“Please, Tyler, I need to fix this, to make it up

to him. Please help me apologize.”

“Figure it out, Sam.” My brother’s voice

softens. “If you care about him a fraction as much
as he cares about you, you’ll know what to do.”

“He told you how he feels about me?”
“Yeah. His life sort of depended on it.”
“And you believe him?”
“Yeah, Sis, I believe him. He’s a good guy, and

I never would’ve helped him if I didn’t.”

“I miss him so much, Tyler. I don’t know why

I acted the way I did. I totally fucked up.”

“Then fix it.”

*

I take a deep breath. I should’ve called after I

hung up with Tyler, but I’m a chicken, so I put it off
and put it off some more. Now it’s midnight Friday,
and I just hovered my finger over Cole’s number
long enough for the call to go through.

The contents of my dinner swirl and swoop in

my belly as the phone rings. I’m nervous, or scared,
or a little of both. Maybe a lot of both.

I don’t know why I’m calling. I don’t even

know if he’ll answer. The few text messages we
exchanged over the last week and a half were short.
Clipped. But, at least he responded.

“Hello.”
I melt at the sound of the familiar baritone

voice. I miss him so much. My heart races.
Butterflies soar, but my disobedient lips clamp
together, and don’t allow a sound to escape.

It’s quiet on his end. He’s not out at a bar or a

party. I think that’s a good sign. I cross my fingers
and hope it is. There’s so much I want to say, need
to say. If I could just get something out of my damn
mouth.

“Sam?”
Dead air.
“If you have something to say say it, or else

I’m hanging up,” he snaps.

“I don’t know where to start.”
It’s probably the dumbest thing I could say,

but it’s the only thing I can get out.

“You can start with why you called. Or hello.

Just say something.”

I swallow hard, searching for words while I get

rid of the tremble in my voice. I fail, because I
can’t control anything my body is doing.

"Something," I manage to get out.
“Are you drunk?”
“No. I’m sorry.”
There’s a long moment of silence. “For?” He

continues before I have a chance to respond, “You
know what, it’s fine. Whatever you do, it’s none of
my business.”

“I want it to be your business.”
“I’m done playing these games with you. One

minute you want me, the next you want nothing to
do with me.”

“That’s not how it is. I’m not playing games,”

I explain. “The last few months have been hard.
I’ve felt lost. Confused. When something might
hurt me, my first instinct is to run away. And you,
you can hurt me in ways I can’t even imagine.”

“Exaggerate much?”
“No. I don’t think straight when it comes to

you. My feelings for you are so strong, they scare
the shit out of me.”

“Feelings? You mean like all the hate you have

for me?”

Okay, this is officially a bad idea. Cole is

pissed. He’s making it hard. I can’t blame him
though. I deserve this and much worse.

“Can we talk?”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?”
“I mean in person. I have some things I need

to tell you and it has to be face to face.”

He doesn’t respond right away. He takes a few

deep breaths. “I don’t know. I think it might be
better if we don’t see each other again.”

“You mean ever?”
My heart stops as I wait for his answer. I want

to go back in time, hit a reset button and redo the
moment I let Callie destroy us. Destroy me. Instead
of running away, I want to put my arm around Cole
and tell him, tell both of them, how much he means
to me.

“Yeah. I think this is better for us both.”
I shake my head and bite down on my lip. He

can’t be serious. He’s still friends with Tyler. We’re
going to see each other. We always did. We always
will. Unless he goes out of his way to avoid me. Or
I don’t live in the same house as my brother.

“I’m having dinner with my father Sunday

night. I kind of wanted to ask you to come be my
moral support.”

“The problem with that is I like your father. I

respect him. I don’t want to sit there and listen to
you trash him for something he didn’t do.”

“I asked my father to dinner so we could talk

and clear the air.”

“So you called me because you’re chicken shit

and want me there when you talk to him?”

“Yes.”
“I thought you called because you wanted to

talk to me.”

I sit up in bed. I need to be alert because he’s

using my own words to trip me up, and doing a
good job of it. Too good a job.

“I did. I do. But I also value your opinion. A

lot.” I hug a pillow to my chest, it’s all I can to to
keep myself from completely unraveling. “And I’d
really like you there because I feel stronger with
you by my side, and . . . I miss you like crazy.”

“I’m sure Zane is doing a pretty good job of

keeping you occupied.” I hear the anger and
animosity in his voice.

“I haven’t seen Zane since the last time I saw

you.”

“Am I supposed to feel bad about that?”
“Cole, please I want to talk about us.”
“There is no us. You made that clear. You

moved on, and now I’m trying to do the same.”

My eyes tear. Is he telling me what I think he

is?

“You moved on? Does that mean you’re

dating someone else?” My voice cracks and I can’t
hide the fact that I’m crying hysterically on the
inside.

There’s a long pause. I think he hung up

because I don’t even hear him breathe.

“I went on a date tonight.”
“Oh.” My voice is as deflated as my heart. I’m

crushed. Shattered. I want to slam the phone down
and find a cliff to jump off of. Since there are none
around, I struggle to hold myself together instead.
“How did it go?”

“Honestly, it was the worst two hours of my

life.”

I’m a shitty person for being happy to hear

that, but I am. I’m happy and relieved, and hope to
God this means there’s still a chance for us.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Are you really?” His asks, in a snarky tone.
“Not at all,” I manage to force a smile.
“So, you wanted to talk about us.”
“Not over the phone. I have to do this face to

face. Please.”

“So wanting me there when you talk to your

father is a bullshit excuse to get your way?”

“Uhg! You are so frustrating.” I’ve never seen

him like this.

“Just calling it like I see it.”
“I want you there to hear what I have to say.

It’s important. I think you were right. I jumped to
conclusions when I should’ve asked for his side.
After that, I’d like to talk to you about what
happened between us and why I reacted the way I
did after you went through so much thought and
trouble for me. You don’t have to answer right now,

you can think about it if you want.”

We both hang on the line in silence for a few

long moments.

“I’ll be there.”
“Thank you, Cole! I can’t tell you how much

this means to me.” I hate that I’m giddy. I wish I
could throw my arms around him and squeeze him.

“Don’t thank me yet.” Uh oh. “I’m going to be

honest, Sam. This doesn’t mean anything for us
romantically. We’re not going to pick up where we
left off, so get any ideas you might have about that
out of your head.”

“I know.”
“Do you? Because it sounds like you think

I’ve been sitting here with my thumb up my ass
waiting for you to play me again.”

“No.” My voice is low. I sound meek. Just

fucking wonderful. “That’s not what I think, or
what I expect. I just need to be honest and clear the
air.’

“I’m coming as a friend. Nothing more.”
His words have teeth. They sink into my flesh,

and dig right down into the bone.

“Are you okay?” He asks after a long silence.
“Honestly, I don’t know. But I do know that

this is the first step in getting there.”

Chapter 27

Cole

I take a deep breath, as Samantha gets out of

the car. She stands and I get a whiff of her perfume.
It hits me like a wrecking ball. I want to grab her,
back her against the car and kiss her. Ravage her.
Reignite the flames between us that simmer
beneath the surface, but I can’t. For a couple of
reasons.

First, we’re meeting her father here, and if he

sees us groping each other, he’s going to kick my
ass. No matter how much he might like and
approve of me, she’s still his baby girl. Second, I
promised myself I wouldn’t fall back into old habits
when I see her. I know myself well enough to know
it won’t stop at a kiss and inevitably we’ll end up
having sex before we say goodbye.

That’s not enough for me anymore. I'm ready

for something more. I want a relationship; someone
I can have in my life for more than a night or two
here and there. Someone I could hold and wrap
myself around under the sheets, not just when we're
getting tangled in them.

I leans toward her and brush the hair away

from her face before taking her hand. Her eyes
meet mine with surprise, and the strong, hard look
in them softens.

"I’m glad you decided to do this,” I say.

“You'll never know what's really in his heart if you
don't hear him out."

She shrugs. “I guess.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I know he’s my father and that he loves me,

but I’m nervous. I’ve been such a bitch. I don’t
think he’ll forgive me.”

She looks so young and vulnerable. I’m shot

back in time to her first day of middle school.

*

“You’re up early,” I say, as Sam sits down on

the front porch steps, eyes down, shoulders
slumped.

She shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep. I’m too

nervous.”

“You’ll be fine.”
She shakes her head. This isn’t like Sam. She’s

usually bubbly, and talkative. Half the time Tyler
can’t shut her up. On top of which, she’s rarely
ever this subdued. Usually, she’s bouncing around
and full of energy,

“What are you afraid of?”
“There are a lot more kids in middle school.

I’m already invisible. I don’t know what scares me
more, if no one sees me, or if the all see me.”

I put my arm around her shoulder. “You’re

not invisible. Just think of it as an opportunity to
make new friends, on your terms. You’re really

good at that.”

“Middle school is different. No one is going

to want to be friends with me, I’m different than
the other girls. They’re all into boys or sports. I’m
into neither. Tyler said I’m not aloud to talk to
boys, so forget ever having a boyfriend.” She
sounds depressed about this.

“I think he just wants to keep you safe, until

the right guy comes along.”

“I think he just wants everyone to look at me

like I’m some kind of freak.”

“Why do you say that?”
“Because he said no guy will ever be good

enough for me.” Her mouth twists in annoyance.

“Maybe you should be thinking less about

boys and more about the clubs and activities they
have in middle school.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re out of there.”
“Yes. I am, but now I’m in high school, which

is even worse.”

“Cole!”
I laugh. “I’m kidding. You got this. Just go be

yourself. And don’t worry about dating.”

“Yeah but then the girls will make fun of me if

I don’t at least pretend to like some of the boys.”

“Then tell them that’s because you already

have a boyfriend.”

“They’ll know I’m lying.”
“Tell them it’s me. And I’m just waiting until

you’re old enough to marry you.”

She lets out a long sigh and looks up at me

with sad green eyes. “I wish you could come be my
moral support.”

*

"You've got this, Sam. Remember how nervous

you were going into middle school. You kicked ass,
just like I said you would. This is just like middle
school.”

“This isn’t like middle school at all. I couldn’t

stand half those people. This is my father. And the
only reason I went in as confident as I did was
because of your little pep talk.”

“You remember that?” I’m surprised, I didn’t

think she would. I had no idea it had that big of an
impression on her. That I had that big of an
impression on her back then.

“Um hm.” She nods “I remember wishing you

could walk me to school that morning. But the high
school started earlier.”

I squeeze her hand. I joked then about

marrying her someday, but this serves to remind
me, we’ve been connected for a very long time.
Whatever this is between us started years ago.

“Does your father know I’m coming?”
Her eyes open wide. “No. I’m so sorry, Cole. I

didn’t think about it. I know you don’t think he’ll
approve of us, and since we’re not exactly together,
I didn’t really think it’s a big deal, but I could see

how you might. I hope you’re not too mad.” She
nibbles on her bottom lip.

“I’m not mad at all.” I run my hand over her

hair. “Sam, I have a confession. Your father knows
about us.”

Her eyes open wide. “What?”
“He knew, Sam. He asked me point blank.

And it proves that you were right. We should’ve
been honest and told everyone in the beginning,
just like you wanted. If I listened, we wouldn’t
have hurt each other so much. I fucked up.”

“OMG my father knows we’ve been having

sex and he didn’t kill you?”

“No! Maybe, we didn’t get into specifics. Your

father knows we have feelings for each other. Of
course he didn’t quite say you hate me. In fact, he
thinks you like me. A lot.”

“That’s because I do.”
I squeeze her hand. It’s a start.

*

Dinner’s going well so far. Mr. Stone didn’t

bat an eyelash seeing me with his daughter. Sitting
between her father and I, Samantha apologizes for
her attitude and asks for his side of the story.

“Why didn’t you tell us? At least tell me?” She

says after he describes the events leading up to him
kissing his secretary and moving out.

“I didn’t want to damage your relationship

with your mother. I still don’t. She’s been doing a

good job of that herself, but I’m not about to lie for
her either.”

“So you knew about the affair for months

before confronting her?”

“Yes. I didn’t take what was going on in your

lives into consideration at the time. I had no idea
your brother was having such a hard time, or I
might have waited a little longer. It’s best though,
that it’s all out there.”

Sam’s eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry for

being such a bitch. I just, when I saw you and Gina
—”

“Shh,” he coos. “It was poor judgment on my

part. It never should’ve happened like that. I’m
sorry you got caught up in our problems.”

“I love you, Dad.” She leans over and hugs

her father for a long time. With closed eyes, he
holds his baby girl, looking more content than I
remember seeing him in a long time.

Part of me is jealous. This heart-to-heart

worked out well for them. I want to have the same
happy ending. I want to end the night holding her.
Touching her. Kissing her.

I know I promised myself nothing would

happen, and I set an expectation with Sam, but now
that I’m with her, it’s all out the window. Just like I
knew it would be.

“So,” Mr. Stone says, sitting up in his chair

and adjusting the dish and utensils in front of him.

“I take it you two made up and are back together?”

I stop myself from blurting out “Yes!”

Because no matter how much I want it, I don’t
knew for sure about Sam.

The color drains from her face. “Not exactly,”

she says after looking back and forth between us.
“I asked Cole to come because he’s been helping
me deal with everything over the last few months,
and I needed an objective party.”

“Oh.”
Objective party? Could she make my

involvement with her sound any colder or more
business like?

“Just to clarify, sir. Does that mean you’d be

okay if we were together?” I ask more for her
benefit than mine. It’s a show of good faith, I’m
trying to give her what she wants, better late than
never, no matter tonight’s outcome.

Mr. Stone places his hand over Sam’s. “I

explained to Cole, no one is ever going to be good
enough for you. But I know Cole’s a good kid. He’s
got a good head on his shoulders, and I know that
he cares about you. More importantly, if he hurts
you, I know where to find him.”

She might think he’s saying it in jest, but

between Sam’s father and brother, The pair will cut
my balls off if I hurt her.

A smile lights up Sam’s face. “So the age

difference—”

“I’m not happy about. At all.” He shoots

daggers at me. “But I’m confident Cole will treat
you with the dignity and respect you deserve. So if
you’re waiting on my approval.” He lets out a long,
loud breath. “This is as close as you’re going to get
to it. Besides, Cole’s worlds better than that Zane.”
The disdain in his voice is punctuated on the last
word.

“Is it him or his name that you don’t like?”
Mr. Stone shakes his head. “Who in their right

mind would name their kid Zane. Such a stupid
name.”

“It’s his nickname, Dad.”
“Point made, he’s too dumb to call himself

anything respectable. At least I know Cole here
would never look to name his son something stupid
like Zane.”

“Dad, I love you so much!” Sam throws her

arms around her father.

Her giddiness is contagious. It’s infected me

and my mood. It feels good to see them together
and know I played some part in making this
happen. Regardless of what comes between us, she
needed this.

“If you guys will excuse me, I need to run to

the ladies room.”

My eyes follow her as she saunters through

tables toward the restrooms.

“You can take your eyes off my daughter’s

ass.”

Oh fuck! My throat constricts. I snap my gaze

right back to Mr. Stone who’s eyes are narrowed on
me. “I wasn’t, I mean I—”

“In all seriousness, Cole. It’s good to see you.”
I fill my lungs with air and breathe a little

freer.

Chapter 28

Samantha

Cole picked me up from my dorm and we met

my father at a local restaurant. The ride back
passes quickly. Too quickly. We hold hands as he
drives. I wish he’d take a few wrong turns to ensure
some extra time together. Happy time where we
could just sit in peace and enjoy each other’s
company.

I’m terrified at how he’s going to react to what

comes next.

“Are you sure we won’t be bothering

Charlotte?”

“She said she was going to hang with this guy

she likes. Knowing her, that means she’ll either be
back very late, or she’s spending the night in his
room.”

He lets go of my hand and strokes the back of

my neck. His fingers slip under my hair and graze
over my skin, making me shiver.

“Does she invite guys to spend the night in

your room?”

I hear a hint of disapproval in his voice. He

has no real right to ask, but the fact that he did
makes me feel good.

“Because if she does and some jerk gets

unsavory ideas about you, I’ll have to kill him.”

He cares. And I know it’s shitty of me to be

happy about that, but I am. I smile as I answer.

“Take it easy tough guy. We agreed only the

guys we’re serious about get to spend the night.”

Relief washes over his face. Until the phrase

sinks in. “Does that mean Zane? Does he spend the
night?”

My shoulders slump. This is my own fault. I

created this. It’s what I wanted. Now I have to
answer for it. “No. Zane never spent the night
here.”

“I’m sorry. That was shitty of me, but I hate

the fucker. He’s like a freaking termite in my brain
gnawing away at all the good feelings from
tonight.”

“Maybe I could help bring them back.” I take

his hand and playfully bump into him every few
steps as we walk to my room. “You seem so lost in
thought. What are you thinking about?”

He shrugs. “I had a really nice time tonight.”
“The night’s not over.” I tease.
Once the door to my room closes, I grab his

shirt and yank him to me with force. I press my lips
against his, and let my tongue swipe across his lips.
We shouldn’t take things any further. I know this. I
should stop it. Instead, I work to get it started.

I unbutton his pants and reach inside. He

threads his fingers through my hair as I slide his
pants and boxers down his legs, to his ankles. I look

up at him as I settle myself on my knees. I’m
excited to put all my recent research into practice.

“Sam, you don’t have to.”
I flash him a wicked smile, looking up at him

through my lashes, and licking my lips for
emphasis. “I know. I want to.”

Before either of us say another word, I grip his

shaft and lean forward. I open my mouth and
French kiss his mushroom head, then do the same
working my way up and down his length. Cole
lean’s with his back against the door, sounding like
he enjoys every stroke of my hand and tongue.

I switch gears and run my tongue up and down

his member before taking his head in my mouth,
closing my lips and sucking. Hard. His guttural
moans convince me I’m doing the quality job I set
out to do. It spurts me on.

Saliva drips all over him as my wet mouth

slides up and down his dick. His grip on my hair
tightens as his hips start to thrust in and out. I
shouldn’t like this so much, but I do. Even though
I’m on my knees, his reaction makes me feel
invincible.

I’ve wanted to fuck your mouth for so long,”

He says. “Doing it is so much better than imagining
it.”

I cup his balls and roll them in my hand.
“In your mouth?”
I hesitate, not sure what he’s asking. I pause

feeling his delicious cock throb in my mouth and
understand. I nod my head.

The idea of him filling my mouth with his hot

seed turns me on and inspires me to suck and lick
him with increased enthusiasm. Cole holds my head
still. He thrusts his cock deeper, until his cum
shoots to the back of my throat. Once he stops
twitching, I lick him clean, taking every drop he has
to offer.

Feeling proud of my accomplishment, I stay

on my knees a moment and enjoy the satisfied look
on his face. Cole reaches down, takes me by the
hand and pulls me to my feet. Once I’m steady, his
mouth crushes against mine with fervor. Possessing
me. I feel like I’ve just been branded, and I love
every second of it.

He holds me tight. I miss this. Miss the way

our bodies meld together. Miss the smell of him
when I breathe. The adoring way his eyes meet
mine after an intimate moment. Like I’m his
everything. His forever.

I clutch his shirt until my knuckles turn white.

Afraid of how this night will end.

“I wanted to do that before we talked. I’ve

been thinking about it, and . . .” My eyes drop to
the floor, my cheeks warm with color. “Honestly,
there’s always porn on around here, so I’ve kind of
been paying attention. And imagining doing it to
you.”

“So I’m the first guy? You never tried it with

Zane?”

Again Zane. My eyes water. If Cole is this

upset over Zane, he’s never going to forgive what I
did with Hunter. I can’t believe I fucked up the best
thing in my life.

Tension surges though my body as I rip myself

from his arms, knowing I may never feel the
comfort of them ever again. I force myself to do it
because if I don’t rip the bandage off, I might never
tell him.

I plop down on my bed and sit on it sideways.

I lean my back against the wall behind me and hug
my knees to my chest, feeling like what I truly am,
a frightened little girl.

“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
I shake my head. “No. I deserve that. Besides,

one of us had to bring it up.”

He approaches the bed. “May I?”
“Of course. I just don’t know if you’ll want to

be that close to me in a minute.”

Something dark flashes in his eyes. Fan-

fucking-tastic. He sits at the edge of the bed with
one leg hanging off, his body facing me.

“You want to know why I panicked when you

told me how you feel about me? It’s because I
don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you.”

“Stop.” He rubs my knee. I hate him for being

so perfect. For always knowing what I need at the

moment. I hate him because with each passing day
my feelings for him grow stronger and I’m at a
point where I can’t imagine my life without him. “I
can’t promise that we will get through this, Sam.
But if you keep running away, I know for a fact
that we won’t.”

“That’s why it was so much easier to be angry

at my father.” I look away. “I mean I know what I
saw, and that was before anything happened
between us. But then, when you told me it was my
mother.” I can’t stop the tears from pouring out of
my eyes, no matter how hard I try. “I’m so afraid of
being her. Afraid that I’ll do the same thing. I mean
I already have, and I’m so sorry, Cole. I don’t know
how to fix any of this.” I bury my face in my hands.

“Come here,” He pulls me into his arms.
“Honestly, I don’t know why you’re even

here. We weren’t together that long. Why haven’t
you given up on me?”

He shrugs and says with a smirk, “I don’t

know, masochistic tendencies I guess.”

“That’s not funny!” I cry harder.
“Princess, I’m joking. I’m a big boy. I

understand the pitfalls of falling in love and loving
someone.”

“You do?”
“Um hmm.”
“Did she hurt you?” I ask, through sniffles.
“Tore my heart in pieces.”

I cringe. He loved someone else. What he

feels for me is just a shadow of what he felt for her.
I know because there’s nothing like your first true
love. Like the love I feel for Cole. Not puppy love,
but the kind of love you’d gladly lay your life on
the line for.

“Do you still talk to her?”
“From time to time.”
“Who? I don’t remember you ever being

serious with anyone.”

“You, Samantha. You have me tripping over

myself, and second guessing everything I know.
You light up my days, and frustrate my nights. You
invade every thought I have. Good and bad. Every
time I’m ready to throw in the towel, I see you and
I can’t let go. Instead I vow to fight harder.”

“You won’t after I what I tell you.”
He rubs the back of his neck. I wonder if he

even realizes this is his tell. That he does it any time
he’s stressed or uncomfortable.

“Before you say anything and I fly off the

handle, I want you to know no matter what you tell
me, it’s not going to change how I feel about you.
No matter how I might want it to.” He mutters the
last part under his breath.

“Try to understand,” I begin, “Callie’s been a

bitch to me for years. Since middle school. She
used sit behind me in history and tell me how the
world would be a better place if I just kill myself.”

“That was Callie?” Anger in his voice bounces

off the cinderblock walls of my room.

“Yes. And then everything she did with Doug.

It’s even worse than I first thought. Right before I
saw you with her, I found out how she manipulated
Doug and Marcus to hurt me.”

“How? That doesn’t even make sense?”
I fill him in on the details the guys shared with

Abby and me. “And then they said she’d been
asking around about the guy I was seeing. That
could only be you. And we didn’t tell anyone. At
least I know I didn’t.”

“I didn’t either.” A guilty look settles on his

face.

“Are you sure about that?” My stomach

churns.

He kisses the top of my head. “Austin saw

us,” he whispers. “He confronted me, and while I
didn’t volunteer anything, I wasn’t going to lie
about it either.”

“So he knew?”
Cole nods. “He wouldn’t tell anyone. He

understood I had to be the one to tell Tyler.”

“Do you think its possible he told someone

else, like maybe Zane?” I ask remembering how
quick and steadfast Zane was to make sure nothing
further went on between Hunter and I.

Cole’s jaw tenses along with the rest of his

body, “He didn’t tell his fucking brother, or Zane

would’ve known better than to go near you.”

“Sorry,” I whisper, swallowing down the lump

in the back of my throat. “Minutes after hearing
how she was gunning for me, I saw you and Callie
kiss. Mission accomplished. She destroyed me by
stealing you.”

“She didn’t.”
“It looked like she did, and just thinking that

broke the fragile pieces of me that were still
together. To see you with any other girl at that time
would’ve broken me, but to see you with Callie,
there was no coming back.”

“I still don’t understand how you could think

that I’d discard you like that. I mean I spent every
minute with you I could, and your brother was
there.”

“Yes, but I didn’t know where exactly we

stood, if we were more of friends with benefits or a
real couple, and Tyler kept going on about how
whipped your mystery girl had you, I didn’t know if
you were trying to prove something to him. In fact,
I knew his goal was to go out that night and get
laid. He was pissed that you wanted to go to the
movies. I thought maybe he convinced you
otherwise.”

“I planned to go somewhere after the movies,

like to go get coffee or something so we could talk,
and I could tell him about us. But no, Sam. I wasn’t
out looking to hook up.”

Rehashing that night makes my stomach turn

and tumble. I’m nervous and clutch my belly.

“You okay?”
I nod, afraid if I open my mouth I’m going to

hurl.

“Sam, you look a little green.”
I hold my hand up, leap off my bed and out of

my room. I manage to keep my food down until I
get to the bathroom. I barely make it into an empty
stall before every last bit of dinner forces itself
violently up from my stomach out of my mouth.

When I’m empty and done dry heaving, I rinse

my mouth and splash some water on my face. I find
Cole waiting outside the bathroom door.

“You okay?”
I nod. “Just feeling queasy since dinner. How

about you?”

He shrugs, “I’m fine. Maybe it has more to do

with what we’re talking about?”

“Maybe.”
He takes my hand and leads me back to my

room. Once we’re settled on my bed again, Cole
strokes my back. “Is there more?”

I think he knows. Everything leading up to this

suggests he does. there’s no use in lying or trying to
hide it any longer. I planned to tell him. I want to
tell him. I nod, and push away from him.

“All I wanted was to stop the pain. I mean for

a hot minute I was your world, and you were mine,

but in the flutter of fly’s wing you were gone.”

He shakes his head.
“I didn’t know that. I just wanted to stop the

pain. I went with Abby to a party a few towns over.
Hunter was there, Callie’s ex. He seemed like the
perfect revenge.” I can’t look at Cole, at the man I
love. My stomach churns as I speak and keep my
eyes fixed on my wringing hands. “I got really
drunk. So drunk, I didn’t care about what I was
doing. I acted like the other girls there, and . . .” I
close my eyes and breathe.

“Did you fuck Hunter?” Cole interrupts.
I shake my head. “No. Nothing even close to

that. We just kind of kissed.”

“Kind of? What the fuck does that mean?

Either you did or you didn’t.”

“I did. A lot.” I hold my breath waiting for his

reaction. His face is a blank slate, and he doesn’t
say anything, so I continue. “Then Zane showed up
out of nowhere and—“

“Yeah, I know the rest.” He cuts me off. “You

went home with Zane.” Cole’s jaw tenses. His
hands are balled up into fists.

I nod. “You know?”
“Yes, I fucking know. Do you want to know

what my night was like?”

I don’t know if that was a rhetorical question,

so I just stare at him keeping my mouth closed so I
don’t make matters worse.

“I was worried shitless about you. I spent the

night at your house waiting for you to come home
so we could talk and I could tell you everything.
But guess what? You never did. You already know
that because you were off all cuddly with Zane. At
two in the morning, your brother got a call from
Abby who had no idea where you were and wanted
to be sure you got home safe. What do you think
that did to us?”

I clear my throat. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t

handle coming home. Being in my room. Sleeping
in my bed. Everything reminded me of you.”

“Right. And that’s why you didn’t bother to

answer your phone or send a text saying that you
were alive. I mean I get why you ignored me, buy
why not answer your brother?”

“There’s no excuse. I was a mess. I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head. “Right. Sorry. Who else

did you hook up with that night?”

“No one.”
“Why should I believe you?” He’s angry. I

can’t say I didn’t expect this.

“Because I’m telling you the truth.” I try not

to panic.

“Why tell me now? I mean chances are I

wouldn’t have found out about Hunter. I thought
we moved past that night. That we were starting
over, so what was the point of rubbing salt in that
wound? To hurt me?”

I feel like I’m on a raft at sea, hand extended,

stretching out for Cole, while drifting further from
him and the shore with every heartbeat.

“No! I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t ever

want to hurt you.”

I reach for his hand. I’m yearning to feel

connected to him, but he pulls away from me.
Away from my touch and a piece of my heart
breaks off and crumbles inside me.

“I should go.”
My chest is tight, and breathing hurts. I’m

silently screaming at him not to go, begging him to
stay and hold me, but I do all I can not to show it. I
strengthen the protective walls around my heart. I
knew he’d react this way. It’s exactly as I feared,
and it’s all my fault.

I nod in agreement.
I stay on the bed and watch in silence as Cole

gets up and walks out my door.

Chapter 29

Cole

I’m a giant asshole for leaving the way I did. I

regret it. I regretted it the minute I pulled away. At
this point I don’t know if I should call and let her
off the hook, or keep her squirming.

Either way, I want her to remember this

feeling because if we do make it through this, and I
believe we will. I don’t want her to forget how
shitty she feels right now and risk a repeat. I won’t
go through this again. Not even for Samantha.

My intention wasn’t to punish her, or test her.

At least at the time. That’s not who I am. But
hearing that she kissed Hunter and then hopped
straight into Zane’s bed, it brought out the worst in
me. Anger roiled inside me, turning my blood into
hot, burning lava. My mouth was a volcanic
opening ready to take out everything in its path. I
had to get away from her.

I don’t know what her next move is going to

be. If it’s getting drunk and calling Zane or hooking
up with another guy, I’m done. For good. On the
other hand, if she lets herself feel the range of
emotions overwhelming her, I’ll hold her hand and
stay by her side. Together, we can start over, be like
the Phoenix and rise from the rubble. Stronger.
Better than before.

I need to call Sam when I get home. Make

sure she understands I didn’t leave her high and
dry. I needed a minute to get some fresh air and
perspective. I had to or I risked slinging a bunch of
hurtful shit at her. I turn the music up in the car
wanting to clear my head and get lost in the road.

It doesn’t work. I can’t wait. I need to right

this ship now. If I can.

“Hey.” Her voice holds a world of hurt. It

wrings my heart.

“Hey, princess.”
“Princess?” She sounds surprised.
“Always.”
“I’m sorry, Cole.”
“Stop apologizing. That’s what I’m trying to

do.” I need to get her to stop beating herself up and
understand that she’s the one that has to forgive.
She has to forgive herself.

“But—”
“We all fuck up.” I interrupt her. “We all

make mistakes. It’s how we handle them that
defines our character.”

“Then I’m screwed.”
“Nothing changed, you know.” I make a point

of it to keep my voice down and speak in a soft
manner.

“Everything changed.”
“Not everything. I still love you.”
“You do?” She sounds surprised. “But why?”

“Because you’re you. I don’t like the choices

you made, or how you handled what you think you
saw, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you. I
know your world was crashing down around you. I
get it. It would be different if we met a few months
ago. But, Sam, we have years of history between
us. And from that, I know who you really are and
what’s in your heart. Even if you’re not ready to
admit it.”

Sniffling comes from her end of the phone. I

don’t speak. I stay on the line, listening. Letting her
know I’m there.

“When you left I thought I lost you. For

good.”

“That’s why I warned you. I had a feeling I

wasn’t going to react well. Every time I see Zane or
hear his name, I go ape shit.”

“Cole,” There’s a hesitation in her voice, like

there’s more she wants to say.

“Yes, beautiful?”
“Thank you.”
Her voice is soft. Quiet. There’s an intimacy

that wasn’t there earlier. I hate that we’re not
together for this round of making up. That I’m not
physically close to her. That I can’t look in her eyes
and make love to her right now.

“For what?”
“For coming tonight and being my friend. I

guess, thank you for caring.”

“I’ll always care about you, Sam. Don’t ever

forget that.”

*

The week drags by. I’ve been given more

responsibility at work, which is good. It keeps my
mind occupied for short bouts of time while I’m
there. Once I leave, I miss Sam. We talk every
night, but not for long, because she hasn’t been
feeling well. She’s always tired and sounds
distracted.

Friday is finally here. I check the time. It’s two

in the afternoon. This day might never end. I still
have at least another four hours before I see my
girl. I can’t wait. It’s the first time we’re going to
see each other since we officially made up.

I offered to go see her Wednesday night. I

thought it was a good way to break up the week,
but Sam said she rather wait until the weekend. The
stomach virus, or whatever she has going on kept
her out of classes Monday and Tuesday and she
wanted to make up the work. I’m not going to lie, I
was disappointed, but I understand. School comes
first.

I force my wandering mind to focus on the

numbers on my monitor. I’m not processing any of
this shit. Maybe I should take off early. The earlier
I get out of here, the earlier I see Sam.

“Hey, princess,” I say as she answers the

phone.

“Hi.” I hear the sleepy smile on her face.
“You sound tired.”
She yawns. “I just took a nap after my last

class. I’m still wiped out.”

“I hope not too wiped out,” I tease.
“I miss you,” she says in the dreamy, half

awake tone I love. “I’m all packed and ready to
go.”

“I miss you too, and I can’t wait to see you.”
“Good. Because I have something important

to tell you tonight.”

“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Can I get a hint?”
“No, no, no. Nothing until we’re face to face.”
“Well then, how about if I come now and pick

you up? This way your father or brother don’t have
to, and I get to spend a few extra hours with you.”

“Um,” there’s a change in her voice. “No.

That’s not going to work.”

“Why not?”
“It just won’t. And no one is picking me up.

I’m taking the bus.”

“Sam, no. It’ll take hours for you to get

home.”

“Don’t you worry. There’s nothing that could

keep me from you. I’ll see you later, sexy.”

I don’t like this. I don’t want to agree. The

bus? It doesn’t make any sense. Especially since

she hasn’t been feeling well. But I don’t want her
to think I’m an all-controlling alpha male.

“Okay, fine. But I’m picking you up from the

bus stop. Just let me know when and where.”

“Sounds good. Cole—”
“Yes.”
“I can’t wait to see you.”
That’s not what she wanted to say. There was

more, but she stopped herself. Maybe it has
something to do with what she wants to tell me
later.

“Same. I’ll talk to you later. Don’t forget to

call me.”

*

It’s a good thing Sam’s not waiting for me. I

got pulled into a boring-ass meeting I’m not even
sure had a purpose. To make matters worse, she
called, and not only couldn’t I answer, I couldn’t
even send her a text message. Once I get back to
my desk, I listen to the voicemail waiting for me.

“I . . . um, just wanted to check in.” Her words

are muffled by background noise. That’s strange. It
sounds as if she’s near a train. “So probably
another hour and a half. I’ll call you when I’m a
few minutes away from the stop. Can’t wait to see
you, sexy.”

I have a funny feeling in my stomach. She’s

taking the bus home? Background noise from a
train? None of this feels right. I don’t remember

hearing a train when we dropped her off or I visited
her at school. Maybe because I was so emotional
when I was there? But then wouldn’t I have heard
it in the background when I spoke to her this week?

No. There’s no train near her school. Is there?

I sit in my car thinking while it warms up. Where
the hell is she? I can’t call her and demand
answers. I mean I can, but we’ll be over in a
nanosecond. Did she change her mind about us?

No. No way.
I close my eyes and roll my neck from side to

side to ease the growing tension. I’m worried.
Concerned about her. This sucks because if I
question her she’ll think I don’t trust her, and I do.

I mean she wouldn’t go off with another guy.

She only did that because she thought I cheated.
Unless there’s someone else and she’s breaking up
with him first. Zane doesn’t live anywhere near a
train and he’s in boot camp.

Hunter?
No. I refuse to let my mind go there. That’s

not what’s going on. Sam and I are in a good place.
End of story. I wonder if her brother knows where
she is and what she’s up to.

As if he knows I’m thinking of him, Tyler’s

number and picture show up on my phone.

“You on your way to pick my sister up?” He

asks.

“Nah, she said she’s going to take the bus and

wants me to pick her up at the stop.”

“And you allowed this?”
“This is why she gets pissed at you. I don’t tell

her what to do.” I pull out of the parking lot and
drive toward the center of town where the bus stop
is.

“I call bull. Sam’s got you whipped, brother,”

he teases. “Which is fine by me because she’s my
sister. But what fucking bus are you talking about?”

“See, that’s what I’m confused about. I didn’t

think there was a bus near there, and no matter how
I wrack my brain, I don’t remember a train near her
school.”

“Her school? There’s no train there. She’s in

the middle of nowhere. I think that’s why my
parents wanted her to go there. Why would you
think there’s a train?”

“She left me a message and I couldn’t hear it

that well, it sounded like she was on a train
platform or something.”

“Shit.” Tyler’s voice drops. “You just gave me

a fucking flashback.”

“To?”
“Caitlin. The fucking call from hell.”
Oh fuck. My heart speeds up. I take a deep

breath, but I can’t fill my lungs. “When she told
you about the abortion?”

Please, no!
“Yeah.”

I can barely hear him. I take a hard left toward

the highway and press on the accelerator. My hands
shake. I need to get to Samantha.

“She called you from the clinic and you heard

a train?”

“C’mon, man, you’re making me relive this

shit?”

Fuck! It all make sense now. The throwing up.

The fatigue. She’s fucking pregnant! With my baby.
God, I hope it’s my baby.

“Hey, Ty, you have plans for tomorrow night?”
“No, why?”
“Now you do. We’re having dinner. The three

of us. No. Your father should be there, too. Yeah, it
should definitely be the four of us.”

“Cole?”
Great, he’s catching on.
“Listen, I got to go.”

“What the fuck, Cole? What did you do to

my sister?”

“I’ll call you later.”
I don’t give him a chance to respond. I press

end and call Sam’s number as I race to where I
think she is, but pray she isn’t. It goes straight to
voicemail. She wouldn’t have an abortion. Not
without telling me first. Not after seeing how it
destroyed Tyler. She said there was something she
had to tell me. Something she had to say face to
face. This is it.

I don’t know how I get there, but twenty

minutes later, I come to a screeching halt. A train
rumbles past on the side of the building. This is the
place. Please, God, don’t let me be too late, I
repeat over and over again. I rush in and stop,
breathless, at the check in counter.

“May I help you, sir?” A brash sounding

woman in her mid-forties asks.

“I’m here to see a patient. Samantha Stone.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t help you.”
“Please,” I implore. “I need to see her.”
The woman looks down at her list of patients.

“Due to HIPAA laws, I can’t discuss any patients
with you.”

“I’m not asking you to discuss. I want to see

her so I can discuss what I need to with her.” I raise
my voice. I don’t mean to, but I’m frantic and this
woman isn’t helping.

“Cole?”
I turn around to find Samantha standing there,

looking surprised and more beautiful than ever. My
eyes take in every inch of her, from head to toe,
stopping for a few extra seconds on her belly. She
looks fine. Beautiful. Amazing.

I choke down the emotion overwhelming me. I

made it in time. A wave of relief washes over me.
Cleanses my conscious.

“Oh, God, Sam.”
“What are you doing here?”

I take her face in my hands and kiss her lips. I

want to laugh. I want to cry, I’m so thankful I got to
her, I don’t know what I want to do. I swallow
hard, not thinking about words or planning a
speech. I open my mouth and speak from the heart.

“Don’t do this, baby.”
“Do what?”
“Have an abortion. I love you and I’ll be by

your side for all of it. Every step of the way. I take
her hands in mine and keep my eyes locked on
hers. “I understand that you’re probably scared to
death, but everything about us is right. Including
this baby. I’ll be at every doctor’s appointment. I’ll
change diapers in the middle of the night. I’ll do it
all. Anything and everything that goes along with it.
Just tell me what you want and it’s yours.”

“Cole.”
I shake my head. “No. I’m not done.” I step

closer and rest my hands on her still flat belly. “I’ll
love this baby, Samantha, because it’s ours. And
I’m so head over heals in love with you. This baby,
our child, was conceived in love.” She shakes her
head, and I feel a twang in my heart. I’m afraid of
what that means, but I’m convinced we could make
it work.

“Even if it’s not mine, Sam. Even if it’s Zane’s

baby, I’ll love it, because it’s yours. And I’ll raise it
as my own. No one has to know. Unless you want
him to be a part of the baby’s life, but still, I’ll be

responsible for you both. It’s you and me against
the world.”

“Do you mean that?”
“Every word.”
“I’m not pregnant, you jerk,” she says,

slapping my chest. “And I never had sex with
Zane.”

I don’t understand. I couldn’t have heard

right.

“What?”
“I’m. Not. Pregnant.” She says each word

slowly. Precisely. As if English is my second
language.

“But . . . But . . . You threw up. And you’ve

been complaining that you’re so tired. And then,
you had something to tell me face to face. And
you’re here.”

“I told you, I was sick, I had some sort of forty

eight hour thing. Do you really think I’d do that to
you after what I saw my brother go through? That
I’d have an abortion,” she whisper yells, looking
around to make sure no one overheard. “Without
telling you first?”

“Then what are you doing here?”
“Charlotte. Her ex called and said he was

diagnosed with Chlamydia and that she should get
checked. She wanted to go somewhere where no
one would recognize her, so I thought of this place.
She drove, and I didn’t want her to take me home

on top of it. Because it would’ve added like an hour
more to her trip back. Half an hour from here to
home, and thirty extra minutes from home to
school.”

“But you said you had something to tell me,

face to face. If it wasn’t this, what was it?”

“I love you.”
“What?” This is surreal. My worst nightmare

is turning into the best moment of my life.

“I. Love. You.”
I feel a sting behind my eyes. I’m not going to

be a sappy pussy and cry because my girl told me
she loves me. I crush my mouth against hers, thread
my fingers in her hair, and kiss her like I’ve never
kissed anyone. With passion and possession. She’s
mine, and she loves me. I’m dizzy and breathless as
we break away.

“Do you know how long I wanted that?

Imagined one day you’d realize you loved me and
kiss me the way you did? Like I’m the air you
breathe? Do you even care that I still have the
scent of you in my nose? Or that my body aches for
you, everywhere?” I say with a smile.

She looks at me awed.
“You remember?”
“Every word. Every touch. Every minute. I

love you, Samantha Stone. I’ve always loved you.
And I always will.”

“I love you, too. Always.”

I kiss away the tears that stream down her

face, knowing I’m holding my forever in my arms.
Knowing I’ll always do the right thing by her. And
knowing no matter what, I’m never going to let her
go.

Thank you for reading Hate to Love You. If you
enjoyed it, please leave a review on the site where
you purchased it, and recommend it to a friend!

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Continue reading for an excerpt of

#Cougarlicious

When love is forbidden, smiles, sparks and a little
nudge turn an average mother into #Cougarlicious-

Single mom Kim Doherty is heartbroken and
destroyed. A shell of her former self. Each day she
goes through the motions of taking care of her
thirteen year old son Timmy.

Flirtatious smiles and heated looks coming from
Timmy’s twenty-something year old wrestling
coach wake Kim’s frozen heart. Smiles turn to
innocent touches. Innocent touches lead to mind
blowing sex. Before she knows what’s happening,
Coach Chance Carter, weaves his way into Kim’s
daily life and melts her heart.

Is it just sex or something more? How many shots
at love does one person get? Having lost so much
already, Will Kim choose to focus on her son and
say goodbye to Chance, or will she become
#Cougarlicious?

A second chance forbidden romance.

Chapter 1

I take a deep breath. It doesn't do much to calm me. A

fresh wave of tears streams down my cheeks. I take another
long look into his blue eyes. No matter how hard I search them,
they’re flat and devoid of what I’m looking for.

A spark. Recognition. Life.
I miss the way his face lit up when he looked at me. The

playful twinkle in his eyes when we spotted each other across
a crowded room.

I clutch the framed picture to my chest wishing it was him,

warm and in the flesh instead of just a moment in time, an
image captured and held in cold, hard glass. What I wouldn’t
give for one more touch. One more kiss. One more chance to
say I love you.

Missing him hurts. It’s destroying me. Everything I do,

everywhere I look, reminders of him tease and torment me.
Memories bombard and overwhelm me.

*

I glance at the oven clock. Shit. I’m running late with

dinner. I’m making Mike’s favorite, lasagna. I usually save it
for holidays and special occasions. But Mike’s starting a new
job next week and has spent his week off helping around the
house. I want him to know how much I appreciate it. I just
didn’t expect to hit so much traffic on the way home from the
grocery store.

Apparently something big happened at the bank. Streets

were closed off as sirens blared, and emergency vehicles
raced to scene. Mike had some errands to run today, but this
craziness in town seems to have delayed him, too. If I’m
lucky I’ll finish preparing dinner before he gets home.

The doorbell rings.
I jump. Bumps cover my skin. For some reason it sounds

five times louder than normal. It breaks the unnatural silence
in the house. It’s a rare moment when my eleven year old
isn’t raising hell. He’s not blasting his music. Doesn’t have
the television or gaming system turned up to deafening
levels.

My breath is caught in my throat at the sight of the two

officers on the other side of the door.

“Mrs. Doherty?” The taller officer asks.
No! I’ve seen this on television and in movies. I’ve read

about it. No. No. No fucking way! NO!

Neither man looks comfortable, or happy. Both officers

remove their hats from their heads.

“May we come inside?”
NO! My brain screams.
Tears fill my eyes as blackness creeps in from every

angle. My brain can’t process. My heart is about to explode.
My lungs don’t want to pull in air. My body knows and now,
with the blackness overtaking everything else, it’s shutting

down.

*

Two years have passed, but it isn’t any easier. The pain is

fresh. Sharp. His loss devastates me as much today as it did
when I first found out Mike had been shot in the head and
killed in a bank robbery.

Mike shouldn't even have been there. That’s the real bitch

of it. Payroll goofed when he left his job and instead of
depositing his last check electronically, they cut him a paper
check. Bills were due before he’d get paid again from the new
job he hadn’t even started yet. My husband wasn’t one to trust
technology. Especially with banking.

"Mom," Timmy calls from the other side of my bedroom

door. "Are you okay?"

I sniffle and try to pull myself together. The key word is

try.

"Yes, sweetheart. I'm just tired."
I hate lying to him, but he's taken his father's death so hard,

I don't want to stir up any pain.

"Can I come in?"
"Um." I clear my throat, blow my nose and wipe my eyes.

"Sure."

The door creaks open. My son doesn't move. He stands at

the entrance to my bedroom, and evaluates me.

"You're not tired, you've been crying."
"I'm fine, Timmy. Really. I'm just a little emotional."
He nods as he approaches the bed and sits at the edge.
"I'm going to find a way to kill that fucker."
"Timmy! Your language!" I scold.
"Fuck my language. That dick killed Dad, and when I'm

old enough I'm going to hunt him down, cut his balls off and
kill him."

Maybe I should be grateful that my son wants to avenge

his father’s wrongful death. Maybe it will motivate him to do
something great with his future. Perhaps he’ll want to serve
and protect the innocent and go into law enforcement. I should

be proud.

I’m not. Instead I’m terrified. I’m scared to death of losing

him, too.

"Sweetheart, I know you miss your father. I do, too. But he

wouldn't want you to sacrifice all the good things you have yet
to come in your life for revenge. He'd want you to become all
you can be."

"Dad taught me to stand up for what’s right. He said I

should never be afraid to what I need to, as long as I’m on the
right side of the issue."

"Yes,” I nod. “But you're talking about murder. There’s

nothing right about killing someone."

“There is if it saves lives.”
Timmy says it so matter of fact and emotionless. His

words send shivers down my spine. I understand where my son
is coming from. I'd like nothing more than to put a bullet into
the bastard's head myself, but I can't risk jail time and being
separated from my son. Timmy is the only thing that makes life
bearable. I have to trust in the system.

"He's behind bars. He's never coming out. Let him rot

there like the piece of shit he is."

"That isn't enough. I want him to suffer the way we do.

Besides, you don’t know if he’ll get paroled. And then what?
Huh? Dad will still be dead and he’ll be able to live. To have
a life. "

Timmy doesn’t talk much about his feelings. He doesn’t

show that the pain of losing his father is like an open chest
wound. Wearing emotions on the sleeve, that’s my specialty,
and I see firsthand the effect it’s having on my son.

"Get over here."
I sit back, lean against the headboard, and stretch my arms

open for my son.

He shakes his head. “I’m not a kid, Mom. A hug isn’t

going to fix what’s wrong with me.”

Not what I needed to hear right now. He’s right. He’s not a

kid. But he’ll always be my baby. I’ll always want to mother

him. Love him. Protect him. Hugs are just a natural
consequence of those other things.

Other books by Lily Ryan

His Condition

Stark Me

Friends are for Sharing

Destination Wedding.

Loving Lucas

#Cougarlicious

Stalk me sights. I love interacting with my readers,
oops, I mean stalkers!

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Acknowledgements

I’d like to once again thank my husband for being
my wall of strength, and you my fan, who gave me
the opportunity to enter your life. There are so
many other people that have been helping me out
and supporting me along the way. Thank you
Lainey Da Silva for everything. For helping me
with everything so I can navigate through the
writing process in timely fashion. Thank you Serena
Worker. Its all about the happy ever after,
Hopelessly addicted to romance, Unnofficial girls
night in, Inbetween the Pages book blog, Its all
about the happy ever after blog, Magical words of a
book, Lety's Book Blog, The Lawless land of
books, The Three Bookeaters, Jaqueline and
Nikki’s book corner, The Club Blogs Books,
Escape Reality Book Blog, Fictional Book
Fantasies, The Club Blogs Books & Book
Boyfriends, AB Fab Book Blog, Inbetween the
Pages Book Blog, and to anyone who has read,
posted, tweeted, reviewed or recommended me or
any of my books. I am eternally grateful.

About The Author

I spend my days playing house with my

husband and kids, and my nights lost in a fictional
world with the sexy alphas of my imagination.